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-The Project Gutenberg eBook of The Philistine: a periodical of
-protest (Vol. I, No. 1, June 1895), by Various
-
-This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere in the United States and
-most other parts of the world at no cost and with almost no restrictions
-whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms
-of the Project Gutenberg License included with this eBook or online at
-www.gutenberg.org. If you are not located in the United States, you
-will have to check the laws of the country where you are located before
-using this eBook.
-
-Title: The Philistine: a periodical of protest (Vol. I, No. 1, June
-       1895)
-
-Author: Various
-
-Release Date: June 21, 2022 [eBook #68370]
-
-Language: English
-
-Produced by: hekula03 and the Online Distributed Proofreading Team at
-             https://www.pgdp.net (This book was produced from images
-             made available by the HathiTrust Digital Library.)
-
-*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE PHILISTINE: A PERIODICAL
-OF PROTEST (VOL. I, NO. 1, JUNE 1895) ***
-
-
-
-
-
-
-                             The Philistine
-                         A Periodical of Protest.
-
-       “_Those Philistines who engender animosity, stir up trouble
-                     and then smile._”—JOHN CALVIN.
-
-                              [Illustration]
-
-                               Vol. I No. 1.
-
-                Printed Every Little While for The Society
-                     of The Philistines and Published
-                    by Them Monthly. Subscription, One
-                              Dollar Yearly
-                   Single Copies, 10 Cents. June, 1895.
-
-
-
-
-THE PHILISTINE.
-
-
-
-
-Contents for June.
-
-
-    1. Quatrains,
-                                     E. R. White.
-
-    2. Philistines Ancient and Modern,
-                                William McIntosh.
-
-    3. The Sanity of Genius,
-                               Rowland B. Mahany.
-
-    4. English Monuments,
-                                  Elbert Hubbard.
-
-    5. Ballade des Écrivains du Temps Jadis,
-                                    G. F. Warren.
-
-    6. Philistinism in General,
-                                 Mark S. Hubbell.
-
-    7. Side Talks,
-            The East Aurora School of Philosophy.
-
-COPYRIGHT 1895
-
-
-
-
-THE PHILISTINE.
-
-            NO. 1.            June, 1895.            VOL. 1.
-
-
-
-
-QUATRAINS.
-
-
-    If one could hear aright the murmurings
-    Of some shore-stranded sea-shell as it sings,
-      It might be then that he would come to know
-    An inkling of the Planner’s purposings.
-
-    The weary shuttle can no more divine
-    Of how its thread looks, in the whole design,
-      Than we poor shuttles, in the hand of Fate
-    Can fathom of the Plan a single line.
-
-                                     E. R. WHITE.
-
-
-
-
-PHILISTINES ANCIENT AND MODERN.
-
-    “THE ANCIENT PHILISTINES.—The enemies of the children of
-    light.”—_International Cyclopedia._
-
-    “PHILISTINE.—A term of contempt applied by prigs to the rest of
-    their species.”—LESLIE STEPHEN.
-
-
-A tiny spot on the map is the Philistia of Old Testament days—a way
-station on the path of commerce between alphabet-building Phœnicia to
-the north, and Canaan and predatory Arabia on the south. But long before
-those hardy neighbors plagued Israel and made a hostage of the Ark
-of the Covenant there were Philistines in the world, influencing its
-destinies.
-
-Tradition has been unkind to Philistinism as to many other good things.
-The Serpent in the Garden is the earliest embodiment of the genius of
-protest, unless we follow John Milton farther back to the rebellion in
-the Court of Heaven, organized by the Sons of the Morning. Omnipotence
-that founded order set in motion change also. The unrest that is the
-electro-motor of progress is in nature as in man, and evolution is its
-perpetual law.
-
-Human society was ripe for Philistines when Noah launched his ocean
-palace inland. Scarce a century later the egotism of man sought to scale
-high heaven from a tower of brick and asphalt. Matter was deified with
-the usual result, and a discordant medley of alien labor was all the
-product of the giant enterprise.
-
-Down through the patriarchal ages the conservative men who builded
-cities and the sons of progress who balked established order and moved
-on kept up the alternation of forces. Jacob wrung from an angel his
-divine endowment and won his brother’s primogeniture when Esau, the
-conservative, gave all the future for the good things near by. Joseph,
-the dreamer, peddled like old clothes to a rag man, showed his thrifty
-brothers a bunco trick worth learning when he had come, a stranger of a
-despised race, to be all but a Pharaoh in the capital of civilization.
-The trumpet blasts that felled Jericho, the vanquishing shouts of
-Gideon, the sling of the shepherd stripling that freed a nation, tell of
-seemingly inadequate means out of the conservative order that changed
-history. Moses, prophet and lawgiver and priest, killed his man and was a
-fugitive a generation before he abandoned his princely rank in Egypt to
-lead a nation of slaves into the evolution of independence and mastery of
-the world’s spiritual thought.
-
-The ancient monarchies went to wreck when the social order had become
-stationary—encrusted with custom and caste. But a few Philistines,
-destroyers of arbitrary ranks, recreated the world in the democracy of
-Chivalry, and that in turn went down when its vital purpose had been
-achieved and its orders had become set and stifled progress.
-
-It was a Philistine, a despised player and holder of horses, who gave the
-modern world its literature. It was a heretic monk who threw ink-stands,
-not only at Satan, but at embodied and enthroned religion, who gave the
-modern world its impetus to freedom. The imaginative authors who most
-strongly sway mankind today are Philistines. Thackeray smilingly lifted
-the mask from aristocracy and exposed its sordid servility. Dickens threw
-down the idols of pretentious respectability. Hugo taught the democracy
-of virtue. Tolstoi dethroned convention in religion. Ibsen divorced
-morality from law.
-
-The note of protest resounds throughout history. Every age seeks in
-material gratifications the realization of its destiny. Everywhere genius
-becomes conservative and sterile; art grows self-conscious and measures
-achievement by technical difficulties; ceremonial binds social life;
-law protects artificial privilege; religion is refined into theology or
-materialized into idolatry; hospitality becomes an exchange, and the
-humanities are buried alive under their own machinery. They who protest,
-who exalt purpose and measure achievement thereby, are called Philistines.
-
-They realize the finiteness of all created things. They see evolution in
-all, and hold naught that is finite to be final.
-
-Philistinism is the world’s perpetual crusade. It reveres tradition, but
-it despises commonplace in purple.
-
-                                                         WILLIAM MCINTOSH.
-
-
-
-
-THE SANITY OF GENIUS.
-
-
-    I talked with one who made a life “success”
-      Along convention’s smooth and hedge-trimmed road,
-      Type of that class who bear but their own load,
-    And “shrewdly” shun the fiery storm and stress,
-    When hearts and souls unselfish forward press
-      To mitigate oppression’s stinging goad;
-      Reformers he called geniuses, but showed
-    That genius is “a kind of foolishness.”
-
-    Well, when I thought how soon he would be cold,
-      How soon forgotten, and in how few years
-        His idiot heirs would spend his hoardings vain,
-    While “the eccentrics” would in ways untold
-      Make ever less the sum of human tears,
-        It seemed to me—genius alone is sane!
-
-                                     ROWLAND B. MAHANY.
-
-Legation of the United States, Quito, 1893.
-
-
-
-
-ENGLISH MONUMENTS.
-
-
-England relegates her poets to a “Corner.” The earth and the fullness
-thereof belongs to the men who can kill; on this rock have her State and
-Church been built.
-
-As the tourist approaches the city of London for the first time there
-are four monuments that probably will attract his attention. They lift
-themselves out of the fog and smoke and soot, and seem to struggle toward
-the blue.
-
-One of these monuments is to commemorate a calamity—the conflagration of
-1666—and the others are in honor of deeds of war.
-
-The finest memorial in St. Paul’s is to a certain Irishman, Albert
-Wellesley, Duke of Wellington. The mines and quarries of earth have been
-called on for the richest contributions; and talent and skill have given
-their all to produce this enduring work of beauty that tells posterity of
-the mighty acts of this mighty man. The rare richness and lavish beauty
-of the Wellington mausoleum is only surpassed by that of a certain tomb
-in France.
-
-As an exploiter the Corsican overdid the thing a bit—so the world
-arose and put him down; but safely dead his shade can boast a grave so
-sumptuous that Englishmen in Paris refuse to look upon it.
-
-But England need not be ashamed. Her land is spiked with glittering
-monuments to greatness gone. And on these monuments you often get the
-epitomized life of the man whose dust lies below.
-
-On the carved marble to Lord Cornwallis I read that “He defeated the
-Americans with great slaughter.” And so, wherever in England I see a
-beautiful monument I know that probably the inscription will tell how
-“he defeated” somebody. And one grows to the belief that, while woman’s
-glory is her hair, man’s glory is to defeat someone. And if he can
-“defeat with great slaughter” his monument is twice as high as if he had
-only visited on his brother man a plain defeat. In truth I am told by
-a friend who has a bias for statistics, that all monuments above fifty
-feet high in England, are to men who have defeated other men “with great
-slaughter.” The only exceptions to this rule are the Albert Memorial,
-which is a tribute of wifely affection rather than a public testimonial,
-so therefore need not be considered here, and a monument to a worthy
-brewer who died and left three hundred thousand pound to charity. I
-mentioned this fact to my friend, but he unhorsed me by declaring that
-modesty forbade carving truth on the monument, yet it was a fact that
-the brewer, too, had brought defeat to vast numbers and had, like Saul,
-slaughtered his thousands.
-
-When I visited the site of the Globe Theater and found thereon a brewery
-whose shares are warranted to make the owner rich beyond the dream of
-avarice, I was depressed. In my boyhood I had supposed that if ever I
-should reach this spot where Shakespeare’s plays were first produced
-I should see a beautiful park and a splendid monument; while some
-white-haired old patriarch would greet me and give a little lecture to
-the assembled pilgrims on the great man whose footsteps had made sacred
-the soil beneath our feet.
-
-But there is no park, no monument and no white-haired old poet to give
-you welcome—only a brewery.
-
-“Aye, mon, but ain’t ut a big ’un?” protested an Englishman who heard my
-murmurs.
-
-Yes, yes, we must be truthful. It is a big brewery, and there are four
-big bulldogs in the court way; and there are big vats; and big workmen
-in big aprons. And each of these workmen is allowed to drink six quarts
-of beer each day without charge, which proves that the true Christian
-spirit is not dead. Then there are big horses that draw the big wagons
-and on the corner is a big tap room where the thirsty are served with big
-glasses.
-
-The founder of this brewery became very rich; and if my statistical
-friend is right, the owners of these mighty vats have defeated mankind
-“with great slaughter.”
-
-We have seen that although Napoleon, the defeated, has a more gorgeous
-tomb than Wellington, who defeated him, yet there is consolation in the
-thought that although England has no monument to Shakespeare, he now
-has the freedom of Elysium; while the present address of the British
-worthies, who have battened and fattened on poor humanity’s thirst for
-strong drink since Samuel Johnson was executor of Thrale’s estate, is
-unknown.
-
-We have this on the authority of a Spirit Medium, who says: “The virtues
-essential and peculiar to the exalted station of the British worthy
-debars the unfortunate possessor from entering Paradise. There is not
-a Lord Chancellor, or Lord Mayor, or Lord of the Chamber, or Master of
-the Hounds, or Beefeater in Ordinary, or any sort of British bigwig out
-of the whole of British Beadledom, upon which the sun never sets, in
-Elysium. This is the only dignity beyond their reach.”
-
-This Mejum is an honorable person, and I am sure he would not make this
-assertion if he did not have proof of the facts. So for the present we
-will allow him to go on his own recognizance, believing that he will
-adduce his documents at the proper time.
-
-But still should not England have a fitting monument to Shakespeare? He
-is her one universal citizen. His name is honored in every school or
-college of earth where books are prized. There is no scholar in any clime
-who is not his debtor.
-
-He was born in England, he was never out of England, his ashes rest in
-England.
-
-But England’s Budget has never been ballasted with a single pound to help
-preserve inviolate the memory of her one son to whom the world uncovers.
-
-Victor Hugo has said something on this subject about like this:
-
-Why a monument to Shakespeare? He is his own monument and England is its
-pedestal. Shakespeare has no need of a pyramid; he has his work.
-
-What can bronze or marble do for him? Malachite and alabaster are of no
-avail. Jasper, serpentine, basalt, porphyry, granite; stones from Paros
-and marble from Carrara—they are all a waste of pains; genius can do
-without them.
-
-What is as indestructible as these: _The Tempest_, _The Winter’s Tale_,
-_Julius Cæsar_, _Coriolanus_? What monument sublimer than _Lear_, sterner
-than _The Merchant of Venice_, more dazzling than _Romeo and Juliet_,
-more amazing than _Richard III_?
-
-What moon could shed about the pile a light more mystic than that of _A
-Midsummer Night’s Dream_? What capital, were it even in London, could
-rumble around it as tumultuously as Macbeth’s perturbed soul? What
-framework of cedar or oak will last as long as _Othello_? What bronze can
-equal the bronze of _Hamlet_?
-
-No construction of lime, of rock, of iron and of cement is worth the
-deep breath of genius, which is the respiration of God through man. What
-edifice can equal thought? Babel is less lofty than Isaiah; Cheops is
-smaller than Homer; the Colosseum is inferior to Juvenal; the Giralda at
-Seville is dwarfed by the side of Cervantes; St. Peter’s at Rome does not
-reach to the ankle of Dante.
-
-What architect has the skill to build a tower so high as the name of
-Shakespeare? Add anything if you can to mind! Then why a monument to
-Shakespeare?
-
-I answer, Not for the glory of Shakespeare, but for the honor of England!
-
-                                                           ELBERT HUBBARD.
-
-
-
-
-BALLADE DES ÉCRIVAINS DU TEMPS JADIS.
-
-PUBLISHED IN CHICAGO _circa_ A. D. 1930, AND PRINTED BY THE PHILISTINE
-FROM ADVANCE SHEETS.
-
-
-    In what Limbo, or Paradis,
-      Hides the bulge of his brainful brow
-    Ponderous Howells, W. D.?
-      Where vade Warner and Aldrich now,
-      Boyesen, knowful of why and how,
-    Skandine skald of the soulful sneer—
-      Light his pen as a sub-soil plow—?
-    _But where is the froth of yestreen’s beer?_
-
-    Where now drivels the droolful Bok?
-      Whither doth Harding Davis fare?
-    And Riley, best of the rhyming flock?
-      Where is the georgic Garland, where
-      Harte, tamed cub of the grizzly bear?
-    Ben Hur Wallace, whose style was queer?
-      Quipful Clemens, that jester rare?
-    _But where is the froth of yestreen’s beer?_
-
-    Where hies Hawthorne, last of the name?
-      Gamesome Stockton, where gambols he,
-    With lass and tiger, his fee to fame?
-      And Bunner, airful of Arcadie?
-      Whither doth Brander Matthews flee?
-    Slim, sad Gilder, sweet sonneteer,
-      Darling and pride of his Century?
-    _But where is the froth of yestreen’s beer?_
-
-    Sought ye, gentles, a year and day
-      Tidings of these, ye still must hear
-    The doleful burden of this poor lay,
-      _But where is the froth of yestreen’s beer?_
-
-                                         G. F. W.
-
-
-
-
-PHILISTINISM IN GENERAL.
-
-
-I doff my hat to THE PHILISTINE and hail it “Brother well met.”
-
-In the name of all who have hated shams, in the name of all brave knights
-whose lances have shivered against the dead walls of human stupidity,
-ignorance, malice and convention; in the name of every stifled and
-unuttered song that should have mounted like a meadow lark’s to heaven;
-in the name of every pilloried hope and dead ambition killed in the long
-battle with the Mediocrities and the Banalities greet thee, Knight Errant
-from Philistia, and bid thee God speed.
-
-And having,“hailed,” and “bade,” and “greeted,” let me say that though
-the world is wide and shams are many, and the race, to the swift usually,
-and the fight to the strong almost always, and though the God of battle,
-is according to Napoleon, whom it is fashionable to quote “on the side of
-the big battalions,” yet strong blows for truth are cumulative and THE
-PHILISTINE’S bright blade must be dyed often with the blood of Error ere
-it be sheathed and every lie sooner or later driven to its sure end of
-bankruptcy.
-
-I will not hail you Reformer, for that old and honorable name like that
-older and still more honorable one of “gentleman” has fallen recently
-into disrepute and at last reports was still falling; besides reformers
-are often failures, and too often after a brief career are found taking
-tea with the Mammon of Unrighteousness, having assumed their discarded
-role originally rather for “what there was in it,” than from exalted
-or high-minded motives or to improve the condition of their respective
-healths.
-
-A young man called once on the great Voltaire, and besought his
-encouragement in projects he had conceived for a reorganized and better
-scheme of human society, The philosopher leaned his head upon his hand
-and thought a minute, then rising, led the way to an inner room, where,
-against the velvet-hung wall, was an ivory figure of the Redeemer on the
-cross; he pointed to it with warning forefinger. “Young man,” he said,
-“behold the fate of a reformer.”
-
-When I see the little things many men strive and cavil over and the great
-ones they disregard or ignore I know that the kingdom of Liliput was not
-a figment of the imagination of the genial Swift but a lesson from real
-life. And when I consider how they swarm like water-bugs and quarrel over
-the pronunciation of words and bicker with their neighbor to make him or
-her use the sharp “a” in “squalor” so as to make it “squaylor,” I think
-sensible people might be excused for weeping or even swearing.
-
-Little people these, say I, and I would wager a dollar to nothing that
-William Dean Howells is their prophet and that they all venerate his
-works.
-
-The mere fact that Howells is, is a proof that there are those who want
-Howells besides himself, and while not entirely subscribing to the saying
-that “whatever is is best,” it must be recognized that it has its _raison
-d’être_, and we all know Howells has his readers or he would not have his
-publishers.
-
-One can almost tell what a man’s opinions will be by knowing what he
-reads or has read, just as I once heard it said of a tuft-hunting editor
-that it could be predicated with absolute certainty what position he
-would take on a public question by learning with whom he walked down
-town in the morning or with what wealthy parvenu he passed the previous
-evening. This is but a modern application of the old saw, “a man is known
-by the company he keeps,” and mentally he may be known by the books he
-reads or the magazines he skims through. I shudder for Richard Watson
-Gilder, John Brisben Walker, E. Bok, and others of the Mutual Admiration
-Society style of periodical makers if they are to be believed to keep
-the company or read the lucubrations of the contributors to the dreary
-masses of illustrated inanities they edit, publications which have claims
-to interest, based alone upon the merit of their illustrations and the
-perfection of their typographical beauty.
-
-But to recur to the line of romance and digress from the magazines which
-need so much attention, and from “Bartley” and the other counter jumping
-namby-pamby, goody-goodies of the Howells stripe, including his own weary
-history of himself, and the “Books Which Most Influence Him,” the baleful
-effects of which are legitimately and plainly perceptible in his works.
-There are shams in literature more dreadful than Mr. Howells, who is a
-turgid fact and no sham. For instance;
-
-I know of one evanescently popular young creature who chronically
-contributes to the magazines, whose mother it is said, writes his tales
-which, she being a clever woman and he an uncommonly stupid man, appears
-credible to say the least; and there is another “man” I am told of whose
-sister is said to write his poems and modestly efface herself, and as
-the stories are good and the poems fairly readable, it should be the
-part of THE PHILISTINE to disclose to the world the real authors and
-chastise these and other shams, for shams are the hardest hurdles in the
-steeplechase which Truth has to make in this world, since they substitute
-the false for the real and crown the fool with the laurels of the genius.
-
-How much more might be said of the tasks you have to accomplish, brave
-PHILISTINE with your brawny arm and your good naked sword! So much that
-the very thought of it fatigues one and that, hailing you as the latest
-and best contestant in the tourney of Knighthood and yet, considering you
-as a publication in an embryonic stage, I am compelled to quote these
-lovely lines of Longfellow:
-
-    “Oh, little feet that such long years
-    Must wander through this vale of tears,
-    I, nearer to the wayside inn
-    Where travail ends and rest begins,
-    Grow weary thinking of your road.”
-
-                                                         MARK S. HUBBELL.
-
-
-
-
-SIDE TALKS WITH THE PHILISTINES: BEING SUNDRY BITS OF WISDOM WHICH HAVE
-BEEN HERETOFORE SECRETED, AND ARE NOW SET FORTH IN PRINT.
-
-
-It is a land of free speech, Philistia, and if one of us chooses to make
-remarks concerning the work of the others no sense of modesty keeps us
-quiet. It is because we cannot say what we would in the periodicals which
-are now issued in a dignified, manner in various places, that we have
-made this book. In the afore-mentioned periodicals divers men chatter
-with great fluency, startling regularity and “damnable complacency,” each
-through his individual bonnet. Edward W. Bok, evidently assisted by Mrs.
-Lydia Pinkham and W. L. Douglas, of Brocton, Massachusetts, prints the
-innermost secrets of dead women told by their living male relatives for
-six dollars a column. Thereby the authors are furnished with the price of
-a week’s board, and those of us who may have left some little sense of
-decency, wonder what manner of man it may be who sells his wife’s heart
-to the readers of Bok. But the “unspeakable Bok” is “successful.” His
-magazine flourishes like a green bay tree. Many readers write him upon
-subjects of deportment and other matters in which he is accomplished. So,
-the gods give us joy! Let him drive on, and may his _Home Journal_ have
-five million readers before the year is out—God help them!
-
-Mr. Gilder dishes up monthly beautifully printed articles which nobody
-cares about, but which everybody buys, because _The Century_ looks well
-on the library table.
-
-Mr. Howells maunders weekly in a column called “Life and Letters” in
-Harper’s journal of civilization. This “Life and Letters” reminds me
-of the Peterkin’s famous picnic at Strawberry Nook. “There weren’t any
-strawberries and there wasn’t any nook, but there was a good place to tie
-the horses.”
-
-So it goes through the whole list. There are people, however, who believe
-that Romance is not dead, and that there is literature to be made which
-is neither inane nor yet smells of the kitchen sink. This is a great big
-merry world, says Mr. Dana, and there’s much good to be got out of it, so
-toward those who believe as we do—we of Philistia—this paper starts upon
-its great and perilous voyage at one dollar a year.
-
-It was Balzac, or some one else, who used to tell of a flea that lived
-on a mangy lion and boasted to all the rank outside fleas that he met: I
-have in me the blood of the King of Beasts.
-
-       *       *       *       *       *
-
-It is a comforting thought that somewhere, at some time, every good thing
-on earth is brought to an accounting of itself. Thereby are the children
-of men saved from much tyranny. For the good things of earth are your
-true oppressors.
-
-For such an accounting are Philistines born in every age. By their audit
-are men perpetually set free from trammels self-woven.
-
-Earnest men have marvelled in all times that convention has imputed to
-husks and symbols the potency of the things they outwardly stand for.
-Many also have protested, and these, in reproach, have been called
-Philistines. And yet they have done no more than show forth that in all
-things the vital purpose is more than the form that shrines it. The
-inspirations of to-day are the shams of to-morrow—for the purpose has
-departed and only the dead form of custom remains. “Is not the body more
-than raiment”—and is not life more than the formulæ that hedge it in?
-
-Wherefore men who do their own thinking, and eke women betimes, take
-honor rather than disparagement in the name which is meant to typify
-remorseless commonplace. They hesitate not to question custom, whether
-there be reason in it. They ask “Why?” when one makes proclamation:
-
-“Lo! Columbus discovered America four hundred years ago! Let us give
-a dance.” There have been teachers who sought to persuade mankind that
-use alone is beauty—and these too have done violence to the fitness of
-things. On such ideals is the civilization of Cathay founded. Neither
-in the grossness of material things nor in the false refinements that
-“divorce the feeling from its mate the deed” is the core and essence of
-living.
-
-It is the business of the true Philistine to rescue from the environment
-of custom and ostentation the beauty and the goodness cribbed therein.
-And so the Philistines of these days, whose prime type is the Knight of
-La Mancha, go tilting at windmills and other fortresses—often on sorry
-nags and with shaky lances, and yet on heroic errand bent. And to such
-merry joust and fielding all lovers of chivalry are bidden: to look
-on—perhaps to laugh, it may be to grieve at a woeful belittling of lofty
-enterprise. Come, such of you as have patience with such warriors. It is
-Sancho Panza who invites you.
-
-       *       *       *       *       *
-
-_The Chip-Munk_ has a bright reference in the issue of May 15 to
-Coventry, Patmore, Pater and Meredith. These are four great men, as _The
-Chip-Munk_ boldly states.
-
-_The Chip-Munk_ further announces that the Only Original Lynx-Eyed Proof
-Reader has not gone on a journey. Really, I supposed of course he had
-been gone these many moons!
-
-       *       *       *       *       *
-
-I wonder if Carman is still upon a diet of Mellin’s Food that he imagines
-people do not know that this poem
-
-          LITTLE LYRICS OF JOY—V.
-
-    Lord of the vasty tent of Heaven,
-    Who hast to thy saints and sages given
-    A thousand nights with their thousand stars,
-    And the star of faith for a thousand years.
-
-    Grant me, only a foolish rover,
-    All thy beautiful wide world over,
-    A thousand loves in a thousand days,
-    And one great love for a thousand years.
-
-            —BLISS CARMAN in _The Chap Book_, May, 1895.
-
-was written years and years ago as follows:
-
-    The night has a thousand eyes,
-      And the day but one;
-    Yet the light of the bright world dies
-      With the dying sun.
-
-    The mind has a thousand eyes,
-      And the heart but one;
-    Yet the light of a whole life dies
-      When love is done.
-
-                    —FRANCIS W. BOURDILLON.
-
-I desire to swipe him after this manner:
-
-         LITTLE DELIRICS OF BLISS.
-
-                MDCCCXCIV.
-
-    Lord of the wires that tangle Heaven,
-    Who hast to thy brake-persuaders given,
-    The longest of days to ring and grind,
-    And no least screen from the winter’s wind.
-
-    Grant me, only, a summer lover,
-    Sunshiny days the long year over,
-    A thousand whirls and a thousand fares,
-    And one long whirl of a thousand hours.
-
-                                JOY TROLLEYMAN.
-
-                 IV-XI-XLIV.
-
-    White and rose are the colors of strife,
-    What care I for the crimson and blue?
-    Greater than football the battle of life
-    And tragic as aught the gods may view,
-    The clutch and the gripe of inward ills;
-    Pallid the People and Pink the Pills.
-
-                                JOY CARTMAN.
-
-       *       *       *       *       *
-
-Mark Twain says he is writing “Joan of Arc” anonymously in _Harper’s_
-because he is convinced if he signed it the people would insist the stuff
-was funny. Mr. Twain is worried unnecessarily. It has been a long time
-since any one insisted the matter he turns out so voluminously was or is
-funny.
-
-       *       *       *       *       *
-
-The amusing William Dean Howells writes that he is so bothered by
-autograph seekers that he will hereafter refuse to send his signature
-“with a sentiment” unless the applicant for his favor produces
-satisfactory evidence he has read all of his works, “now some thirty or
-forty in number.” When this proof has been sent if Mr. Howells does not
-return his autograph on the bottom of a check for a large amount, he
-deserves to be arrested for cruelty to his fellows.
-
-       *       *       *       *       *
-
-There is no doubt that a teacher once committed to a certain line of
-thought will cling to that line long after all others have deserted it.
-In trying to persuade others he convinces himself. This is especially so
-if he is opposed. Opposition evolves in his mind a maternal affection for
-the product of his brain and he defends it blindly to the death. Thus
-we see why institutions are so conservative. Like the coral insect they
-secrete osseous matter; and when a preacher preaches he himself always
-goes forward to the mourners’ bench and accepts all of the dogmas that
-have just been so ably stated.
-
-       *       *       *       *       *
-
-Literature is the noblest of all the arts. Music dies on the air, or
-at best exists only as a memory; oratory ceases with the effort; the
-painter’s colors fade and the canvas rots; the marble is dragged from its
-pedestal and is broken into fragments; but the _Index Expurgatorius_ is
-as naught, and the books burned by the fires of the _auto da fe_ still
-live. Literature is reproduced ten thousand times ten thousand and lodges
-its appeal with posterity. It dedicates itself to Time.
-
-       *       *       *       *       *
-
-The action of various theatrical managers in cutting from their
-programmes the name of the author of the plays running at their houses
-and the similar action of numerous librarians in withdrawing his books
-from their shelves is simply another proof of the marvellous powers
-of stultification possessed by the humans of the present time. These
-managers, having the scattering wits of birds, do not seem to appreciate
-that, whatever the character of the author, the plays he has written
-were as bad before they were produced as they are now that he has been
-so effectually extinguished; and these librarians cannot comprehend,
-evidently, that his books were fully as immoral as they are now when they
-were first put on the shelves. Would it not be a refreshing thing to
-find a theatrical manager who managed a theater because he had an honest
-purpose of elevating, perpetuating, purifying and strengthening the
-drama, instead of speculating in it as a Jew speculates in old clothes?
-And would it not be a marvel to discover librarian who knew something
-about books?
-
-       *       *       *       *       *
-
-Buffalo, New York, is getting to be very classic in some things. It
-tolerated the nude with great equanimity in the recent Art Exhibition
-and exhibits the female embodiment of everything ideal, from the German
-muse of song to the still more German muse of barley products, at the
-great variety of fests, more or less related to beer, that follow in
-swift succession in that town. But the classic climax was reached on
-Good Friday of this year, when the Venus of Milo, mounted on a Bock beer
-pedestal, was the center piece of an Easter symbol picture in a Hebrew
-clothing advertisement. The limit of Buffalo congruity seems to have been
-reached.
-
-       *       *       *       *       *
-
-_The Chip-Munk_ for May has a bit of folk-lore about a man who advised
-another to join a conspiracy of silence. This item appeared in 1893 and
-during 1894 was published by actual count in one hundred and forty-nine
-newspapers. The editors of _The Chip-Munk_ are a bit slow in reading
-their exchanges.
-
-       *       *       *       *       *
-
-The Two Orphans at the Kate Claxton Building, Chicago Stockyards, have
-a motto on their letter heads that reads, “We are the people and wisdom
-will die with us.”
-
-       *       *       *       *       *
-
-The editor of _The Baseburner_, who claims to be a veritist, states that
-it is not true that the Garland stoves were named after Ham Garland of
-Chicago Stockyards; but the fact is Garland named himself after the
-stoves.
-
-       *       *       *       *       *
-
-_Current Literature_ recently had a long article on Louise Imogene
-Guinly. Doubtless the spelling of the name was a typographical error,
-as the editor probably refers to Miss Louisa Imogene Quinney, who is
-postmistress at Auburn, New York, and daughter of Richard Quinney,
-manufacturer of the famous Quinney Mineral Water.
-
-       *       *       *       *       *
-
-Judge Robert Grant has in preparation a series of articles called “How to
-Live on a Million a Minute and Have Money to Burn.”
-
-       *       *       *       *       *
-
-I hear the voice of the editors of _The Chip-Munk_ complaining that
-_Little Journeys_, _The Bibelot_, _Chips_ and other publications are
-base, would-be imitators of their own chaste periodical. Why, you sweet
-things, did you know that many hundred years ago a great printer made a
-book which was printed in black inside with a cover in red and black. I
-believe this is the thing which you claim is original with yourselves.
-So far as the rest of the periodicals are concerned I have no means of
-knowing whether they are imitations or not, but _Little Journeys_ was in
-type and printed long before _The Chip-Munk_ came out of its hole.
-
-       *       *       *       *       *
-
-Messrs. Copeland & Day of Boston recently published for Mr. Stephen
-Crane a book which he called “The Black Riders.” I don’t know why; the
-riders might have as easily been green or yellow or baby-blue for all the
-book tells about them, and I think the title, “The Pink Rooters,” would
-have been better, but it doesn’t matter. My friend, The Onlooker, of
-_Town Topics_, quotes one of the verses and says this, which I heartily
-endorse:
-
-    I saw a man pursuing the horizon;
-    Round and round they sped.
-    I was disturbed at this;
-    I accosted the man.
-    “It is futile,” I said,
-    “You can never”——
-    “You lie,” he cried.
-    And ran on.
-
-This was Mr. Howells proving that Ibsen is valuable and interesting. It
-is to be hoped that Mr. Crane will write another poem about him after his
-legs have been worn off.
-
-       *       *       *       *       *
-
-I was moved to read Mr. Hermann Sudermann’s diverting novel, “The Wish,”
-upon observing an extended notice in the “Sub Rosa” column of the Buffalo
-_Courier_. The writer therein alleged that the novel taught a great moral
-lesson, and desiring to be taught a great moral lesson I bought the book.
-It treats of the wish of a girl for her sister’s death in order that she
-might marry the husband. I suppose the great moral truth is that one
-should not wish for such things, but I supposed that had been taught in
-one of the Commandments, which tells of coveting thy neighbor’s wife,
-and my Sunday School teacher used to tell me that it referred equally
-to husbands. I was evidently mistaken, and Hermann Sudermann is hereby
-hailed as a teacher of morals. I should think, from the style of the “Sub
-Rosa” article, that the writer is a woman. If she is, I’ll bet her feet
-are cold if she enjoys such things as this:
-
-    When Old Hellinger entered the gable room he saw a sight which
-    froze the blood in his veins. His son’s body lay stretched on
-    the ground. As he fell he must have clutched the supports of
-    the bier on which the dead girl had been placed, and dragged
-    down the whole erection with him; for on the top of him,
-    between the broken planks, lay the corpse, in its long, white
-    shroud, its motionless face upon his face, its bared arms
-    thrown over his head. At this moment he regained consciousness,
-    and started up. The dead girl’s head sank down from his and
-    bumped on the floor.
-
-This cheerful book is translated from the German by Lily Henkel and
-published by the Appletons. I commend it to Mr. Bliss Carman and his
-shroud washers.
-
-       *       *       *       *       *
-
-Mr. Thomas B. Mosher, of Portland, Maine, deserves the thanks of the
-reading public for the issuing of _The Bibelot_. Each month this
-dainty periodical comes like a dash of salt water on a hot day, and
-is as refreshing. After reading the longings and the heartburnings of
-the various degenerates who inflict their stuff on us these days, Mr.
-Mosher’s “Sappho” comes and makes us really believe that there is a man
-up on the coast of Maine who has the salt of the sea and the breath of
-the pines in him, and is willing to think that there are other people who
-care for purity and sweetness, rather than such literature as “Vistas”
-and the plays of Maeterlinck.
-
-       *       *       *       *       *
-
-When in five consecutive stories, printed in the same periodical, the
-hero or heroine has ended the narrative by shooting himself or herself,
-is it not about time to hire somebody to invent some other denouement?
-
-       *       *       *       *       *
-
-Many a man’s reputation would not know his character if they met on the
-street.
-
-       *       *       *       *       *
-
-To be stupid when inclined and dull when you wish is a boon that only
-goes with high friendship.
-
-       *       *       *       *       *
-
-Every man has moments when he doubts his ability. So does every woman
-at times doubt her wit and beauty and long to see them mirrored in a
-masculine eye. This is why flattery is acceptable. A woman will doubt
-everything you say except it be compliments to herself—here she believes
-you truthful and mentally admires you for your discernment.
-
-       *       *       *       *       *
-
-STIGMATA.
-
-    “Behold the miracle!” he cried—
-    The sombre priest who stood beside
-    A figure on whose snowy breast
-    The outlines of a cross expressed
-    In ruddy life-drops ebbed and flowed;
-    “Behold th’ imprimatur of God!”
-
-    A kneeling woman raised her eyes;
-    Lo! At the sight, in swift surprise,
-    Ere awe-struck lips a prayer could speak
-    Love’s stigma glowed on brow and cheek;
-    And one in reverence bent his head—
-    “Behold the miracle?” he said.
-
-                            WILLIAM MCINTOSH.
-
-       *       *       *       *       *
-
-THE MAGAZINES.
-
-_Kate Field’s Wash_ is dry.
-
-_The Arena_ has sand.
-
-“Sub-Tragic” is the latest description of Vic. Woodhull’s _Humanitarian_.
-
-_McClure’s_ is getting a little weary with its living pictures.
-
-_Scribner’s_ has a thrilling article on “Books We Have Published.”
-
-_Godey’s_ is very gay in its second childhood.
-
-Judge Tourgee’s _Basis_ isn’t business. “It’s pretty, but it isn’t war.”
-
-_The Century_, it is said, will insert a page or two of reading matter
-between the Italian art and the ads.
-
-_The Basis_ is out with prizes for poets and sermon writers. It was
-as certain as the law of nature makes the filling of every vacuum at
-some time, that somewhere and at some time these people would get their
-reward. It seems to be coming now. But where and when will be the reward
-of the people who read what they write? The thought of their fate is all
-shuddery.
-
-Ginger used to be in evidence in magazines and pumpkin pies. Squash is a
-prominent ingredient now.
-
-If _Peterson’s_ wouldn’t mix ads. and reading matter in their books and
-on title pages the cause of current literature would be advanced.
-
-Between Grant’s essays on the art of living and the mild satire of “The
-Point of View,” it really looks as if the Tattler had come again—a little
-disembodied for Dick Steele, but in character.
-
-       *       *       *       *       *
-
-THE BOK BILLS OF NARCISSUS.
-
-    “Narcissus is the glory of his race,
-    For who does nothing with a better grace.”
-
-                         YOUNG—_Love of Fame._
-
-    _Narcissus: or, The Self-Lover._
-
-                         JAMES SHIRLEY, 1646.
-
-       *       *       *       *       *
-
-                                              PHILADELPHIA, June 1, 1895.
-
-    W. D. HOWELLS:
-
-               TO            EDWARD W. BOK,            DR.
-
-    42 sq. inches in Boiler Plate. “Literary Letter,” on What I
-        Know of Howells’s Modesty                                   $4 20
-
-    Mentioning Howells’s name, 730,000 times in same (up to date)    7 30
-
-    Cussing _Trilby_ (your suggestion)                                 20
-                                                                   ------
-                                                                   $11 70
-
-Less 2 per cent. for cash.
-
-Please remit.
-
-       *       *       *       *       *
-
-Die Heintzemannsche Buchdruckerei
-
-In Boston, Mass., empfiehlt sich zur geschmackvollen und preiswerten
-Herstellung von feinen Druckarbeiten aller Art, als: Schul- und
-Lehrbucher in allen Sprachen, Schul-Examinationspapiere, Diplome,
-Zirkulare, Preisverzeichnisse, Geschafts-Kataloge u. s. w. Herstellung
-von ganzen Werken mit oder ohne Illustrationen, von der einfachsten bis
-zur reichsten Ausfuhrung.
-
-Carl H. Heintzemann, 234 Congress Street, Boston, Mass.
-
-       *       *       *       *       *
-
-WANTED—Books on the History and Mythology of =Sweden=, =Denmark=,
-=Norway=, =Lapland=, =Finland=, =Greenland=, =Iceland=, =etc.=, in
-any language. Also maps, pamphlets, manuscripts, magazines and any
-work on Northern Subjects, works of General Literature, etc. Address,
-giving titles, dates, condition, etc., with price,
-
-JOHN A. STERNE, 5247 Fifth Avenue, Chicago, Ill.
-
-All kinds of Old Books and Magazines bought.
-
-*** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE PHILISTINE: A PERIODICAL OF
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-<p style='text-align:center; font-size:1.2em; font-weight:bold'>The Project Gutenberg eBook of The Philistine: a periodical of protest (Vol. I, No. 1, June 1895), by Various</p>
-<div style='display:block; margin:1em 0'>
-This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere in the United States and
-most other parts of the world at no cost and with almost no restrictions
-whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms
-of the Project Gutenberg License included with this eBook or online
-at <a href="https://www.gutenberg.org">www.gutenberg.org</a>. If you
-are not located in the United States, you will have to check the laws of the
-country where you are located before using this eBook.
-</div>
-
-<p style='display:block; margin-top:1em; margin-bottom:1em; margin-left:2em; text-indent:-2em'>Title: The Philistine: a periodical of protest (Vol. I, No. 1, June 1895)</p>
-<p style='display:block; margin-top:1em; margin-bottom:0; margin-left:2em; text-indent:-2em'>Author: Various</p>
-<p style='display:block; text-indent:0; margin:1em 0'>Release Date: June 21, 2022 [eBook #68370]</p>
-<p style='display:block; text-indent:0; margin:1em 0'>Language: English</p>
-  <p style='display:block; margin-top:1em; margin-bottom:0; margin-left:2em; text-indent:-2em; text-align:left'>Produced by: hekula03 and the Online Distributed Proofreading Team at https://www.pgdp.net (This book was produced from images made available by the HathiTrust Digital Library.)</p>
-<div style='margin-top:2em; margin-bottom:4em'>*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE PHILISTINE: A PERIODICAL OF PROTEST (VOL. I, NO. 1, JUNE 1895) ***</div>
-
-<div class="max30">
-
-<p class="center larger"><span class="larger">The Philistine</span><br />
-A Periodical of Protest.</p>
-
-<div class="subhead">
-
-<p>“<i>Those Philistines who engender animosity, stir up trouble
-and then smile.</i>”—<span class="smcap">John Calvin.</span></p>
-
-</div>
-
-<div class="figcenter">
-<img src="images/cover-deco1.jpg" width="45" height="30" alt="" />
-<img src="images/cover-deco1.jpg" width="45" height="30" alt="" />
-</div>
-
-<div class="figleft">
-<img src="images/cover-issue1.jpg" width="160" height="200" alt="Vol. I No. 1." />
-</div>
-
-<p class="noindent">Printed Every Little While for The Society
-of The Philistines and Published
-by Them Monthly. Subscription, One
-Dollar Yearly</p>
-
-<p class="noindent">Single Copies, 10 Cents.
-<img class="inline" src="images/cover-deco2.jpg" alt="" />
-<img class="inline" src="images/cover-deco2.jpg" alt="" />
-<img class="inline" src="images/cover-deco2.jpg" alt="" /></p>
-
-<p class="noindent">June, 1895.
-<img class="inline" src="images/cover-deco3.jpg" alt="" />
-<img class="inline" src="images/cover-deco3.jpg" alt="" /></p>
-
-</div>
-
-<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop" />
-
-<div class="chapter">
-
-<h1>THE PHILISTINE.</h1>
-
-<h2 class="nobreak">Contents for June.</h2>
-
-</div>
-
-<table>
-  <tr>
-    <td class="tdl"><a href="#QUATRAINS">1. Quatrains</a>,</td>
-  </tr>
-  <tr>
-    <td class="tdr">E. R. White.</td>
-  </tr>
-  <tr>
-    <td class="tdl"><a href="#PHILISTINES_ANCIENT_AND_MODERN">2. Philistines Ancient and Modern</a>,</td>
-  </tr>
-  <tr>
-    <td class="tdr">William McIntosh.</td>
-  </tr>
-  <tr>
-    <td class="tdl"><a href="#THE_SANITY_OF_GENIUS">3. The Sanity of Genius</a>,</td>
-  </tr>
-  <tr>
-    <td class="tdr">Rowland B. Mahany.</td>
-  </tr>
-  <tr>
-    <td class="tdl"><a href="#ENGLISH_MONUMENTS">4. English Monuments</a>,</td>
-  </tr>
-  <tr>
-    <td class="tdr">Elbert Hubbard.</td>
-  </tr>
-  <tr>
-    <td class="tdl"><a href="#BALLADE_DES_ECRIVAINS_DU_TEMPS_JADIS">5. Ballade des Écrivains du Temps Jadis</a>,</td>
-  </tr>
-  <tr>
-    <td class="tdr">G. F. Warren.</td>
-  </tr>
-  <tr>
-    <td class="tdl"><a href="#PHILISTINISM_IN_GENERAL">6. Philistinism in General</a>,</td>
-  </tr>
-  <tr>
-    <td class="tdr">Mark S. Hubbell.</td>
-  </tr>
-  <tr>
-    <td class="tdl"><a href="#SIDE_TALKS_WITH_THE_PHILISTINES">7. Side Talks</a>,</td>
-  </tr>
-  <tr>
-    <td class="tdr">The East Aurora School of Philosophy.</td>
-  </tr>
-</table>
-
-<p class="titlepage">COPYRIGHT 1895</p>
-
-<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop" />
-
-<div class="chapter">
-
-<p><span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_1"></a>[1]</span></p>
-
-<h2 class="nobreak">THE PHILISTINE.</h2>
-
-</div>
-
-<div class="subhead">
-
-<p class="center"><span class="allsmcap">NO. 1.</span> <span class="spacer">June, 1895.</span> <span class="allsmcap">VOL. 1.</span></p>
-
-</div>
-
-<div class="chapter">
-
-<h2 class="nobreak" id="QUATRAINS">QUATRAINS.</h2>
-
-</div>
-
-<div class="poetry-container">
-<div class="poetry">
-  <div class="stanza">
-    <div class="verse indent0">If one could hear aright the murmurings</div>
-    <div class="verse indent0">Of some shore-stranded sea-shell as it sings,</div>
-    <div class="verse indent2">It might be then that he would come to know</div>
-    <div class="verse indent0">An inkling of the Planner’s purposings.</div>
-  </div>
-  <div class="stanza">
-    <div class="verse indent0">The weary shuttle can no more divine</div>
-    <div class="verse indent0">Of how its thread looks, in the whole design,</div>
-    <div class="verse indent2">Than we poor shuttles, in the hand of Fate</div>
-    <div class="verse indent0">Can fathom of the Plan a single line.</div>
-  </div>
-  <div class="stanza">
-    <div class="verse right"><span class="smcap">E. R. White.</span></div>
-  </div>
-</div>
-</div>
-
-<div class="figcenter">
-<img src="images/deco1.jpg" width="30" height="30" alt="" />
-</div>
-
-<div class="chapter">
-
-<h2 class="nobreak" id="PHILISTINES_ANCIENT_AND_MODERN">PHILISTINES ANCIENT AND MODERN.</h2>
-
-</div>
-
-<div class="blockquote">
-
-<p>“<span class="smcap">The Ancient Philistines.</span>—The enemies of
-the children of light.”—<i>International Cyclopedia.</i></p>
-
-<p>“<span class="smcap">Philistine.</span>—A term of contempt applied by
-prigs to the rest of their species.”—<span class="smcap">Leslie Stephen.</span></p>
-
-</div>
-
-<div>
-<img class="dropcap" src="images/dropcap-a.jpg" width="50" height="60" alt="" />
-</div>
-
-<p class="dropcap">A tiny spot on the map is the Philistia of Old
-Testament days—a way station on the path of
-commerce between alphabet-building Phœnicia to
-the north, and Canaan and predatory Arabia on the
-south. But long before those hardy neighbors<span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_2"></a>[2]</span>
-plagued Israel and made a hostage of the Ark of the
-Covenant there were Philistines in the world, influencing
-its destinies.</p>
-
-<p>Tradition has been unkind to Philistinism as to
-many other good things. The Serpent in the Garden
-is the earliest embodiment of the genius of protest,
-unless we follow John Milton farther back to the
-rebellion in the Court of Heaven, organized by the
-Sons of the Morning. Omnipotence that founded
-order set in motion change also. The unrest that is
-the electro-motor of progress is in nature as in man,
-and evolution is its perpetual law.</p>
-
-<p>Human society was ripe for Philistines when Noah
-launched his ocean palace inland. Scarce a century
-later the egotism of man sought to scale high heaven
-from a tower of brick and asphalt. Matter was
-deified with the usual result, and a discordant medley
-of alien labor was all the product of the giant
-enterprise.</p>
-
-<p>Down through the patriarchal ages the conservative
-men who builded cities and the sons of progress
-who balked established order and moved on kept up
-the alternation of forces. Jacob wrung from an
-angel his divine endowment and won his brother’s
-primogeniture when Esau, the conservative, gave all
-the future for the good things near by. Joseph, the
-dreamer, peddled like old clothes to a rag man,<span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_3"></a>[3]</span>
-showed his thrifty brothers a bunco trick worth learning
-when he had come, a stranger of a despised
-race, to be all but a Pharaoh in the capital of civilization.
-The trumpet blasts that felled Jericho, the
-vanquishing shouts of Gideon, the sling of the shepherd
-stripling that freed a nation, tell of seemingly
-inadequate means out of the conservative order that
-changed history. Moses, prophet and lawgiver and
-priest, killed his man and was a fugitive a generation
-before he abandoned his princely rank in Egypt to
-lead a nation of slaves into the evolution of independence
-and mastery of the world’s spiritual
-thought.</p>
-
-<p>The ancient monarchies went to wreck when the
-social order had become stationary—encrusted with
-custom and caste. But a few Philistines, destroyers
-of arbitrary ranks, recreated the world in the democracy
-of Chivalry, and that in turn went down when
-its vital purpose had been achieved and its orders had
-become set and stifled progress.</p>
-
-<p>It was a Philistine, a despised player and holder
-of horses, who gave the modern world its literature.
-It was a heretic monk who threw ink-stands, not
-only at Satan, but at embodied and enthroned religion,
-who gave the modern world its impetus to
-freedom. The imaginative authors who most strongly
-sway mankind today are Philistines. Thackeray<span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_4"></a>[4]</span>
-smilingly lifted the mask from aristocracy and exposed
-its sordid servility. Dickens threw down the
-idols of pretentious respectability. Hugo taught the
-democracy of virtue. Tolstoi dethroned convention
-in religion. Ibsen divorced morality from law.</p>
-
-<p>The note of protest resounds throughout history.
-Every age seeks in material gratifications the realization
-of its destiny. Everywhere genius becomes
-conservative and sterile; art grows self-conscious
-and measures achievement by technical difficulties;
-ceremonial binds social life; law protects artificial
-privilege; religion is refined into theology or materialized
-into idolatry; hospitality becomes an exchange,
-and the humanities are buried alive under
-their own machinery. They who protest, who exalt
-purpose and measure achievement thereby, are called
-Philistines.</p>
-
-<p>They realize the finiteness of all created things.
-They see evolution in all, and hold naught that is
-finite to be final.</p>
-
-<p>Philistinism is the world’s perpetual crusade. It
-reveres tradition, but it despises commonplace in
-purple.</p>
-
-<p class="right"><span class="smcap">William McIntosh.</span></p>
-
-<div class="figcenter">
-<img src="images/deco2.jpg" width="30" height="30" alt="" />
-</div>
-
-<div class="chapter">
-
-<p><span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_5"></a>[5]</span></p>
-
-<h2 class="nobreak" id="THE_SANITY_OF_GENIUS">THE SANITY OF GENIUS.</h2>
-
-</div>
-
-<div class="poetry-container">
-<div class="poetry">
-  <div class="stanza">
-    <div class="verse indent0">I talked with one who made a life “success”</div>
-    <div class="verse indent2">Along convention’s smooth and hedge-trimmed road,</div>
-    <div class="verse indent2">Type of that class who bear but their own load,</div>
-    <div class="verse indent0">And “shrewdly” shun the fiery storm and stress,</div>
-    <div class="verse indent0">When hearts and souls unselfish forward press</div>
-    <div class="verse indent2">To mitigate oppression’s stinging goad;</div>
-    <div class="verse indent2">Reformers he called geniuses, but showed</div>
-    <div class="verse indent0">That genius is “a kind of foolishness.”</div>
-  </div>
-  <div class="stanza">
-    <div class="verse indent0">Well, when I thought how soon he would be cold,</div>
-    <div class="verse indent2">How soon forgotten, and in how few years</div>
-    <div class="verse indent4">His idiot heirs would spend his hoardings vain,</div>
-    <div class="verse indent0">While “the eccentrics” would in ways untold</div>
-    <div class="verse indent2">Make ever less the sum of human tears,</div>
-    <div class="verse indent4">It seemed to me—genius alone is sane!</div>
-  </div>
-  <div class="stanza">
-    <div class="verse right"><span class="smcap">Rowland B. Mahany.</span></div>
-  </div>
-</div>
-</div>
-
-<p class="center">Legation of the United States, Quito, 1893.</p>
-
-<div class="figcenter">
-<img src="images/deco1.jpg" width="30" height="30" alt="" />
-</div>
-
-<div class="chapter">
-
-<h2 class="nobreak" id="ENGLISH_MONUMENTS">ENGLISH MONUMENTS.</h2>
-
-</div>
-
-<div>
-<img class="dropcap" src="images/dropcap-e.jpg" width="50" height="60" alt="" />
-</div>
-
-<p class="dropcap">England relegates her poets to a “Corner.”
-The earth and the fullness thereof belongs to
-the men who can kill; on this rock have her State
-and Church been built.</p>
-
-<p>As the tourist approaches the city of London for
-the first time there are four monuments that probably
-will attract his attention. They lift themselves out
-of the fog and smoke and soot, and seem to struggle
-toward the blue.</p>
-
-<p><span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_6"></a>[6]</span></p>
-
-<p>One of these monuments is to commemorate a
-calamity—the conflagration of 1666—and the others
-are in honor of deeds of war.</p>
-
-<p>The finest memorial in St. Paul’s is to a certain
-Irishman, Albert Wellesley, Duke of Wellington.
-The mines and quarries of earth have been called
-on for the richest contributions; and talent and skill
-have given their all to produce this enduring work of
-beauty that tells posterity of the mighty acts of this
-mighty man. The rare richness and lavish beauty of
-the Wellington mausoleum is only surpassed by that
-of a certain tomb in France.</p>
-
-<p>As an exploiter the Corsican overdid the thing a
-bit—so the world arose and put him down; but
-safely dead his shade can boast a grave so sumptuous
-that Englishmen in Paris refuse to look upon it.</p>
-
-<p>But England need not be ashamed. Her land is
-spiked with glittering monuments to greatness gone.
-And on these monuments you often get the epitomized
-life of the man whose dust lies below.</p>
-
-<p>On the carved marble to Lord Cornwallis I read
-that “He defeated the Americans with great
-slaughter.” And so, wherever in England I see a
-beautiful monument I know that probably the inscription
-will tell how “he defeated” somebody. And
-one grows to the belief that, while woman’s glory is
-her hair, man’s glory is to defeat someone. And if<span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_7"></a>[7]</span>
-he can “defeat with great slaughter” his monument
-is twice as high as if he had only visited on his brother
-man a plain defeat. In truth I am told by a friend
-who has a bias for statistics, that all monuments
-above fifty feet high in England, are to men who
-have defeated other men “with great slaughter.”
-The only exceptions to this rule are the Albert Memorial,
-which is a tribute of wifely affection rather than
-a public testimonial, so therefore need not be considered
-here, and a monument to a worthy brewer who
-died and left three hundred thousand pound to charity.
-I mentioned this fact to my friend, but he unhorsed me
-by declaring that modesty forbade carving truth on
-the monument, yet it was a fact that the brewer, too,
-had brought defeat to vast numbers and had, like
-Saul, slaughtered his thousands.</p>
-
-<p>When I visited the site of the Globe Theater and
-found thereon a brewery whose shares are warranted
-to make the owner rich beyond the dream of avarice,
-I was depressed. In my boyhood I had supposed
-that if ever I should reach this spot where Shakespeare’s
-plays were first produced I should see a
-beautiful park and a splendid monument; while
-some white-haired old patriarch would greet me and
-give a little lecture to the assembled pilgrims on the
-great man whose footsteps had made sacred the soil
-beneath our feet.</p>
-
-<p><span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_8"></a>[8]</span></p>
-
-<p>But there is no park, no monument and no white-haired
-old poet to give you welcome—only a brewery.</p>
-
-<p>“Aye, mon, but ain’t ut a big ’un?” protested
-an Englishman who heard my murmurs.</p>
-
-<p>Yes, yes, we must be truthful. It is a big brewery,
-and there are four big bulldogs in the court way; and
-there are big vats; and big workmen in big aprons.
-And each of these workmen is allowed to drink six
-quarts of beer each day without charge, which proves
-that the true Christian spirit is not dead. Then there
-are big horses that draw the big wagons and on the
-corner is a big tap room where the thirsty are served
-with big glasses.</p>
-
-<p>The founder of this brewery became very rich;
-and if my statistical friend is right, the owners of
-these mighty vats have defeated mankind “with
-great slaughter.”</p>
-
-<p>We have seen that although Napoleon, the
-defeated, has a more gorgeous tomb than Wellington,
-who defeated him, yet there is consolation in the
-thought that although England has no monument to
-Shakespeare, he now has the freedom of Elysium;
-while the present address of the British worthies,
-who have battened and fattened on poor humanity’s
-thirst for strong drink since Samuel Johnson was
-executor of Thrale’s estate, is unknown.</p>
-
-<p>We have this on the authority of a Spirit Medium,<span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_9"></a>[9]</span>
-who says: “The virtues essential and peculiar to
-the exalted station of the British worthy debars
-the unfortunate possessor from entering Paradise.
-There is not a Lord Chancellor, or Lord Mayor, or
-Lord of the Chamber, or Master of the Hounds, or
-Beefeater in Ordinary, or any sort of British bigwig
-out of the whole of British Beadledom, upon which
-the sun never sets, in Elysium. This is the only
-dignity beyond their reach.”</p>
-
-<p>This Mejum is an honorable person, and I am sure
-he would not make this assertion if he did not have
-proof of the facts. So for the present we will allow
-him to go on his own recognizance, believing that he
-will adduce his documents at the proper time.</p>
-
-<p>But still should not England have a fitting monument
-to Shakespeare? He is her one universal
-citizen. His name is honored in every school or
-college of earth where books are prized. There is
-no scholar in any clime who is not his debtor.</p>
-
-<p>He was born in England, he was never out of
-England, his ashes rest in England.</p>
-
-<p>But England’s Budget has never been ballasted
-with a single pound to help preserve inviolate the
-memory of her one son to whom the world uncovers.</p>
-
-<p>Victor Hugo has said something on this subject
-about like this:</p>
-
-<p>Why a monument to Shakespeare? He is his own<span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_10"></a>[10]</span>
-monument and England is its pedestal. Shakespeare
-has no need of a pyramid; he has his work.</p>
-
-<p>What can bronze or marble do for him? Malachite
-and alabaster are of no avail. Jasper, serpentine,
-basalt, porphyry, granite; stones from Paros and
-marble from Carrara—they are all a waste of pains;
-genius can do without them.</p>
-
-<p>What is as indestructible as these: <i>The Tempest</i>,
-<i>The Winter’s Tale</i>, <i>Julius Cæsar</i>, <i>Coriolanus</i>?
-What monument sublimer than <i>Lear</i>, sterner than
-<i>The Merchant of Venice</i>, more dazzling than <i>Romeo
-and Juliet</i>, more amazing than <i>Richard III</i>?</p>
-
-<p>What moon could shed about the pile a light more
-mystic than that of <i>A Midsummer Night’s Dream</i>?
-What capital, were it even in London, could rumble
-around it as tumultuously as Macbeth’s perturbed
-soul? What framework of cedar or oak will last as
-long as <i>Othello</i>? What bronze can equal the bronze
-of <i>Hamlet</i>?</p>
-
-<p>No construction of lime, of rock, of iron and of
-cement is worth the deep breath of genius, which is
-the respiration of God through man. What edifice
-can equal thought? Babel is less lofty than Isaiah;
-Cheops is smaller than Homer; the Colosseum is
-inferior to Juvenal; the Giralda at Seville is dwarfed
-by the side of Cervantes; St. Peter’s at Rome does
-not reach to the ankle of Dante.</p>
-
-<p><span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_11"></a>[11]</span></p>
-
-<p>What architect has the skill to build a tower so
-high as the name of Shakespeare? Add anything if
-you can to mind! Then why a monument to
-Shakespeare?</p>
-
-<p>I answer, Not for the glory of Shakespeare, but
-for the honor of England!</p>
-
-<p class="right"><span class="smcap">Elbert Hubbard.</span></p>
-
-<div class="figcenter">
-<img src="images/deco1.jpg" width="30" height="30" alt="" />
-</div>
-
-<div class="chapter">
-
-<h2 class="nobreak" id="BALLADE_DES_ECRIVAINS_DU_TEMPS_JADIS">BALLADE DES ÉCRIVAINS DU TEMPS JADIS.</h2>
-
-<p class="hanging allsmcap">PUBLISHED IN CHICAGO <i>circa</i> A. D. 1930, AND
-PRINTED BY THE PHILISTINE FROM ADVANCE
-SHEETS.</p>
-
-</div>
-
-<div class="poetry-container">
-<div class="poetry">
-  <div class="stanza">
-    <div class="verse indent0">In what Limbo, or Paradis,</div>
-    <div class="verse indent2">Hides the bulge of his brainful brow</div>
-    <div class="verse indent0">Ponderous Howells, W. D.?</div>
-    <div class="verse indent2">Where vade Warner and Aldrich now,</div>
-    <div class="verse indent2">Boyesen, knowful of why and how,</div>
-    <div class="verse indent0">Skandine skald of the soulful sneer—</div>
-    <div class="verse indent2">Light his pen as a sub-soil plow—?</div>
-    <div class="verse indent0"><i>But where is the froth of yestreen’s beer?</i></div>
-  </div>
-  <div class="stanza">
-    <div class="verse indent0">Where now drivels the droolful Bok?</div>
-    <div class="verse indent2">Whither doth Harding Davis fare?</div>
-    <div class="verse indent0">And Riley, best of the rhyming flock?</div>
-    <div class="verse indent2">Where is the georgic Garland, where</div>
-    <div class="verse indent2">Harte, tamed cub of the grizzly bear?</div>
-    <div class="verse indent0">Ben Hur Wallace, whose style was queer?</div>
-    <div class="verse indent2">Quipful Clemens, that jester rare?</div>
-    <div class="verse indent0"><i>But where is the froth of yestreen’s beer?</i></div><span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_12"></a>[12]</span>
-  </div>
-  <div class="stanza">
-    <div class="verse indent0">Where hies Hawthorne, last of the name?</div>
-    <div class="verse indent2">Gamesome Stockton, where gambols he,</div>
-    <div class="verse indent0">With lass and tiger, his fee to fame?</div>
-    <div class="verse indent2">And Bunner, airful of Arcadie?</div>
-    <div class="verse indent2">Whither doth Brander Matthews flee?</div>
-    <div class="verse indent0">Slim, sad Gilder, sweet sonneteer,</div>
-    <div class="verse indent2">Darling and pride of his Century?</div>
-    <div class="verse indent0"><i>But where is the froth of yestreen’s beer?</i></div>
-  </div>
-  <div class="stanza">
-    <div class="verse indent0">Sought ye, gentles, a year and day</div>
-    <div class="verse indent2">Tidings of these, ye still must hear</div>
-    <div class="verse indent0">The doleful burden of this poor lay,</div>
-    <div class="verse indent2"><i>But where is the froth of yestreen’s beer?</i></div>
-  </div>
-  <div class="stanza">
-    <div class="verse right">G. F. W.</div>
-  </div>
-</div>
-</div>
-
-<div class="figcenter">
-<img src="images/deco1.jpg" width="30" height="30" alt="" />
-</div>
-
-<div class="chapter">
-
-<h2 class="nobreak" id="PHILISTINISM_IN_GENERAL">PHILISTINISM IN GENERAL.</h2>
-
-</div>
-
-<div>
-<img class="dropcap" src="images/dropcap-i.jpg" width="50" height="60" alt="" />
-</div>
-
-<p class="dropcap">I doff my hat to <span class="smcap">The Philistine</span> and hail it
-“Brother well met.”</p>
-
-<p>In the name of all who have hated shams, in the
-name of all brave knights whose lances have shivered
-against the dead walls of human stupidity, ignorance,
-malice and convention; in the name of every stifled
-and unuttered song that should have mounted like
-a meadow lark’s to heaven; in the name of every
-pilloried hope and dead ambition killed in the long
-battle with the Mediocrities and the Banalities
-greet thee, Knight Errant from Philistia, and bid
-thee God speed.</p>
-
-<p><span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_13"></a>[13]</span></p>
-
-<p>And having,“hailed,” and “bade,” and “greeted,”
-let me say that though the world is wide and shams
-are many, and the race, to the swift usually, and the
-fight to the strong almost always, and though the
-God of battle, is according to Napoleon, whom it is
-fashionable to quote “on the side of the big battalions,”
-yet strong blows for truth are cumulative and
-<span class="smcap">The Philistine’s</span> bright blade must be dyed often
-with the blood of Error ere it be sheathed and every
-lie sooner or later driven to its sure end of bankruptcy.</p>
-
-<p>I will not hail you Reformer, for that old and honorable
-name like that older and still more honorable
-one of “gentleman” has fallen recently into disrepute
-and at last reports was still falling; besides
-reformers are often failures, and too often after a
-brief career are found taking tea with the Mammon
-of Unrighteousness, having assumed their discarded
-role originally rather for “what there was in it,”
-than from exalted or high-minded motives or to improve
-the condition of their respective healths.</p>
-
-<p>A young man called once on the great Voltaire,
-and besought his encouragement in projects he had
-conceived for a reorganized and better scheme
-of human society, The philosopher leaned his
-head upon his hand and thought a minute,
-then rising, led the way to an inner room, where,<span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_14"></a>[14]</span>
-against the velvet-hung wall, was an ivory figure
-of the Redeemer on the cross; he pointed to it with
-warning forefinger. “Young man,” he said, “behold
-the fate of a reformer.”</p>
-
-<p>When I see the little things many men strive and
-cavil over and the great ones they disregard or ignore
-I know that the kingdom of Liliput was not a figment
-of the imagination of the genial Swift but a
-lesson from real life. And when I consider how
-they swarm like water-bugs and quarrel over the
-pronunciation of words and bicker with their
-neighbor to make him or her use the sharp “a” in
-“squalor” so as to make it “squaylor,” I think sensible
-people might be excused for weeping or even
-swearing.</p>
-
-<p>Little people these, say I, and I would wager a
-dollar to nothing that William Dean Howells is their
-prophet and that they all venerate his works.</p>
-
-<p>The mere fact that Howells is, is a proof that there
-are those who want Howells besides himself, and
-while not entirely subscribing to the saying that
-“whatever is is best,” it must be recognized that it
-has its <i>raison d’être</i>, and we all know Howells has
-his readers or he would not have his publishers.</p>
-
-<p>One can almost tell what a man’s opinions will be
-by knowing what he reads or has read, just as I
-once heard it said of a tuft-hunting editor that it<span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_15"></a>[15]</span>
-could be predicated with absolute certainty what
-position he would take on a public question by learning
-with whom he walked down town in the morning
-or with what wealthy parvenu he passed the previous
-evening. This is but a modern application of
-the old saw, “a man is known by the company he
-keeps,” and mentally he may be known by the books
-he reads or the magazines he skims through. I
-shudder for Richard Watson Gilder, John Brisben
-Walker, E. Bok, and others of the Mutual Admiration
-Society style of periodical makers if they are to
-be believed to keep the company or read the lucubrations
-of the contributors to the dreary masses of
-illustrated inanities they edit, publications which have
-claims to interest, based alone upon the merit of their
-illustrations and the perfection of their typographical
-beauty.</p>
-
-<p>But to recur to the line of romance and digress
-from the magazines which need so much attention,
-and from “Bartley” and the other counter jumping
-namby-pamby, goody-goodies of the Howells stripe,
-including his own weary history of himself, and the
-“Books Which Most Influence Him,” the baleful
-effects of which are legitimately and plainly perceptible
-in his works. There are shams in literature
-more dreadful than Mr. Howells, who is a turgid
-fact and no sham. For instance;</p>
-
-<p><span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_16"></a>[16]</span></p>
-
-<p>I know of one evanescently popular young creature
-who chronically contributes to the magazines,
-whose mother it is said, writes his tales which, she
-being a clever woman and he an uncommonly stupid
-man, appears credible to say the least; and there is
-another “man” I am told of whose sister is said to
-write his poems and modestly efface herself, and as
-the stories are good and the poems fairly readable, it
-should be the part of <span class="smcap">The Philistine</span> to disclose to
-the world the real authors and chastise these and
-other shams, for shams are the hardest hurdles in the
-steeplechase which Truth has to make in this world,
-since they substitute the false for the real and crown
-the fool with the laurels of the genius.</p>
-
-<p>How much more might be said of the tasks you
-have to accomplish, brave <span class="smcap">Philistine</span> with your
-brawny arm and your good naked sword! So much
-that the very thought of it fatigues one and that, hailing
-you as the latest and best contestant in the tourney
-of Knighthood and yet, considering you as a publication
-in an embryonic stage, I am compelled to
-quote these lovely lines of Longfellow:</p>
-
-<div class="poetry-container">
-<div class="poetry">
-  <div class="stanza">
-    <div class="verse indent0">“Oh, little feet that such long years</div>
-    <div class="verse indent0">Must wander through this vale of tears,</div>
-    <div class="verse indent0">I, nearer to the wayside inn</div>
-    <div class="verse indent0">Where travail ends and rest begins,</div>
-    <div class="verse indent0">Grow weary thinking of your road.”</div>
-  </div>
-</div>
-</div>
-
-<p class="right"><span class="smcap">Mark S. Hubbell.</span></p>
-
-<div class="figcenter">
-<img src="images/deco1.jpg" width="30" height="30" alt="" />
-</div>
-
-<p><span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_17"></a>[17]</span></p>
-
-<div class="figleft">
-<img src="images/deco3.jpg" width="170" height="100" alt="" />
-</div>
-
-<div class="chapter">
-
-<h2 class="nobreak hanging allsmcap" id="SIDE_TALKS_WITH_THE_PHILISTINES">SIDE TALKS WITH THE PHILISTINES:
-BEING SUNDRY BITS OF
-WISDOM WHICH HAVE BEEN
-HERETOFORE SECRETED, AND ARE NOW
-SET FORTH IN PRINT. <img class="inline" src="images/deco1.jpg" alt="" /></h2>
-
-</div>
-
-<p><img class="inline" src="images/deco1.jpg" alt="" /> It is a land of free speech, Philistia, and if one of
-us chooses to make remarks concerning the work of
-the others no sense of modesty keeps us quiet. It is
-because we cannot say what we would in the periodicals
-which are now issued in a dignified, manner in
-various places, that we have made this book. In the
-afore-mentioned periodicals divers men chatter with
-great fluency, startling regularity and “damnable
-complacency,” each through his individual bonnet.
-Edward W. Bok, evidently assisted by Mrs. Lydia
-Pinkham and W. L. Douglas, of Brocton, Massachusetts,
-prints the innermost secrets of dead women
-told by their living male relatives for six dollars a
-column. Thereby the authors are furnished with
-the price of a week’s board, and those of us who
-may have left some little sense of decency, wonder
-what manner of man it may be who sells his wife’s
-heart to the readers of Bok. But the “unspeakable
-Bok” is “successful.” His magazine flourishes like
-a green bay tree. Many readers write him upon
-subjects of deportment and other matters in which
-he is accomplished. So, the gods give us joy! Let<span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_18"></a>[18]</span>
-him drive on, and may his <i>Home Journal</i> have five
-million readers before the year is out—God help
-them!</p>
-
-<p>Mr. Gilder dishes up monthly beautifully printed
-articles which nobody cares about, but which everybody
-buys, because <i>The Century</i> looks well on the
-library table.</p>
-
-<p>Mr. Howells maunders weekly in a column called
-“Life and Letters” in Harper’s journal of civilization.
-This “Life and Letters” reminds me of the
-Peterkin’s famous picnic at Strawberry Nook.
-“There weren’t any strawberries and there wasn’t
-any nook, but there was a good place to tie the
-horses.”</p>
-
-<p>So it goes through the whole list. There are
-people, however, who believe that Romance is not
-dead, and that there is literature to be made which
-is neither inane nor yet smells of the kitchen sink.
-This is a great big merry world, says Mr. Dana, and
-there’s much good to be got out of it, so toward
-those who believe as we do—we of Philistia—this
-paper starts upon its great and perilous voyage at one
-dollar a year.</p>
-
-<p>It was Balzac, or some one else, who used to tell of
-a flea that lived on a mangy lion and boasted to all
-the rank outside fleas that he met: I have in me the
-blood of the King of Beasts.</p>
-
-<p><span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_19"></a>[19]</span></p>
-
-<p><img class="inline" src="images/deco1.jpg" alt="" /> It is a comforting thought that somewhere, at some
-time, every good thing on earth is brought to an
-accounting of itself. Thereby are the children of
-men saved from much tyranny. For the good things
-of earth are your true oppressors.</p>
-
-<p>For such an accounting are Philistines born in
-every age. By their audit are men perpetually set
-free from trammels self-woven.</p>
-
-<p>Earnest men have marvelled in all times that
-convention has imputed to husks and symbols the
-potency of the things they outwardly stand for.
-Many also have protested, and these, in reproach,
-have been called Philistines. And yet they have
-done no more than show forth that in all things the
-vital purpose is more than the form that shrines it.
-The inspirations of to-day are the shams of to-morrow—for
-the purpose has departed and only the
-dead form of custom remains. “Is not the body
-more than raiment”—and is not life more than the
-formulæ that hedge it in?</p>
-
-<p>Wherefore men who do their own thinking, and
-eke women betimes, take honor rather than disparagement
-in the name which is meant to typify remorseless
-commonplace. They hesitate not to question
-custom, whether there be reason in it. They
-ask “Why?” when one makes proclamation:</p>
-
-<p>“Lo! Columbus discovered America four hundred<span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_20"></a>[20]</span>
-years ago! Let us give a dance.” There have
-been teachers who sought to persuade mankind that
-use alone is beauty—and these too have done violence
-to the fitness of things. On such ideals is the
-civilization of Cathay founded. Neither in the grossness
-of material things nor in the false refinements
-that “divorce the feeling from its mate the deed”
-is the core and essence of living.</p>
-
-<p>It is the business of the true Philistine to rescue
-from the environment of custom and ostentation the
-beauty and the goodness cribbed therein. And so
-the Philistines of these days, whose prime type is the
-Knight of La Mancha, go tilting at windmills and
-other fortresses—often on sorry nags and with shaky
-lances, and yet on heroic errand bent. And to such
-merry joust and fielding all lovers of chivalry are
-bidden: to look on—perhaps to laugh, it may be to
-grieve at a woeful belittling of lofty enterprise.
-Come, such of you as have patience with such warriors.
-It is Sancho Panza who invites you.</p>
-
-<p><img class="inline" src="images/deco1.jpg" alt="" /> <i>The Chip-Munk</i> has a bright reference in the issue
-of May 15 to Coventry, Patmore, Pater and Meredith.
-These are four great men, as <i>The Chip-Munk</i>
-boldly states.</p>
-
-<p><i>The Chip-Munk</i> further announces that the Only
-Original Lynx-Eyed Proof Reader has not gone on a<span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_21"></a>[21]</span>
-journey. Really, I supposed of course he had been
-gone these many moons!</p>
-
-<p><img class="inline" src="images/deco1.jpg" alt="" /> I wonder if Carman is still upon a diet of Mellin’s
-Food that he imagines people do not know that this
-poem</p>
-
-<div class="poetry-container">
-<div class="poetry">
-  <div class="stanza">
-    <div class="center">LITTLE LYRICS OF JOY—V.</div>
-  </div>
-  <div class="stanza">
-    <div class="verse indent0">Lord of the vasty tent of Heaven,</div>
-    <div class="verse indent0">Who hast to thy saints and sages given</div>
-    <div class="verse indent0">A thousand nights with their thousand stars,</div>
-    <div class="verse indent0">And the star of faith for a thousand years.</div>
-  </div>
-  <div class="stanza">
-    <div class="verse indent0">Grant me, only a foolish rover,</div>
-    <div class="verse indent0">All thy beautiful wide world over,</div>
-    <div class="verse indent0">A thousand loves in a thousand days,</div>
-    <div class="verse indent0">And one great love for a thousand years.</div>
-  </div>
-  <div class="stanza">
-    <div class="verse right">—<span class="smcap">Bliss Carman</span> in <i>The Chap Book</i>, May, 1895.</div>
-  </div>
-</div>
-</div>
-
-<p class="noindent">was written years and years ago as follows:</p>
-
-<div class="poetry-container">
-<div class="poetry">
-  <div class="stanza">
-    <div class="verse indent0">The night has a thousand eyes,</div>
-    <div class="verse indent2">And the day but one;</div>
-    <div class="verse indent0">Yet the light of the bright world dies</div>
-    <div class="verse indent2">With the dying sun.</div>
-  </div>
-  <div class="stanza">
-    <div class="verse indent0">The mind has a thousand eyes,</div>
-    <div class="verse indent2">And the heart but one;</div>
-    <div class="verse indent0">Yet the light of a whole life dies</div>
-    <div class="verse indent2">When love is done.</div>
-  </div>
-  <div class="stanza">
-    <div class="verse right">—<span class="smcap">Francis W. Bourdillon.</span></div>
-  </div>
-</div>
-</div>
-
-<p><span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_22"></a>[22]</span></p>
-
-<p>I desire to swipe him after this manner:</p>
-
-<div class="poetry-container">
-<div class="poetry">
-  <div class="stanza">
-    <div class="center">LITTLE DELIRICS OF BLISS.</div>
-  </div>
-  <div class="stanza">
-    <div class="center allsmcap">MDCCCXCIV.</div>
-  </div>
-  <div class="stanza">
-    <div class="verse indent0">Lord of the wires that tangle Heaven,</div>
-    <div class="verse indent0">Who hast to thy brake-persuaders given,</div>
-    <div class="verse indent0">The longest of days to ring and grind,</div>
-    <div class="verse indent0">And no least screen from the winter’s wind.</div>
-  </div>
-  <div class="stanza">
-    <div class="verse indent0">Grant me, only, a summer lover,</div>
-    <div class="verse indent0">Sunshiny days the long year over,</div>
-    <div class="verse indent0">A thousand whirls and a thousand fares,</div>
-    <div class="verse indent0">And one long whirl of a thousand hours.</div>
-  </div>
-  <div class="stanza">
-    <div class="verse right"><span class="smcap">Joy Trolleyman.</span></div>
-  </div>
-  <div class="stanza">
-    <div class="center allsmcap">IV-XI-XLIV.</div>
-  </div>
-  <div class="stanza">
-    <div class="verse indent0">White and rose are the colors of strife,</div>
-    <div class="verse indent0">What care I for the crimson and blue?</div>
-    <div class="verse indent0">Greater than football the battle of life</div>
-    <div class="verse indent0">And tragic as aught the gods may view,</div>
-    <div class="verse indent0">The clutch and the gripe of inward ills;</div>
-    <div class="verse indent0">Pallid the People and Pink the Pills.</div>
-  </div>
-  <div class="stanza">
-    <div class="verse right"><span class="smcap">Joy Cartman.</span></div>
-  </div>
-</div>
-</div>
-
-<p><img class="inline" src="images/deco1.jpg" alt="" /> Mark Twain says he is writing “Joan of Arc”
-anonymously in <i>Harper’s</i> because he is convinced if
-he signed it the people would insist the stuff was
-funny. Mr. Twain is worried unnecessarily. It has
-been a long time since any one insisted the matter he
-turns out so voluminously was or is funny.</p>
-
-<p><span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_23"></a>[23]</span></p>
-
-<p><img class="inline" src="images/deco1.jpg" alt="" /> The amusing William Dean Howells writes that he
-is so bothered by autograph seekers that he will hereafter
-refuse to send his signature “with a sentiment”
-unless the applicant for his favor produces satisfactory
-evidence he has read all of his works, “now some
-thirty or forty in number.” When this proof has
-been sent if Mr. Howells does not return his autograph
-on the bottom of a check for a large amount,
-he deserves to be arrested for cruelty to his fellows.</p>
-
-<p><img class="inline" src="images/deco1.jpg" alt="" /> There is no doubt that a teacher once committed
-to a certain line of thought will cling to that line
-long after all others have deserted it. In trying to
-persuade others he convinces himself. This is especially
-so if he is opposed. Opposition evolves in his
-mind a maternal affection for the product of his
-brain and he defends it blindly to the death. Thus
-we see why institutions are so conservative. Like
-the coral insect they secrete osseous matter; and
-when a preacher preaches he himself always goes
-forward to the mourners’ bench and accepts all of
-the dogmas that have just been so ably stated.</p>
-
-<p><img class="inline" src="images/deco1.jpg" alt="" /> Literature is the noblest of all the arts. Music
-dies on the air, or at best exists only as a memory;
-oratory ceases with the effort; the painter’s colors
-fade and the canvas rots; the marble is dragged
-from its pedestal and is broken into fragments; but<span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_24"></a>[24]</span>
-the <i>Index Expurgatorius</i> is as naught, and the books
-burned by the fires of the <i>auto da fe</i> still live. Literature
-is reproduced ten thousand times ten thousand
-and lodges its appeal with posterity. It dedicates
-itself to Time.</p>
-
-<p><img class="inline" src="images/deco1.jpg" alt="" /> The action of various theatrical managers in cutting
-from their programmes the name of the author
-of the plays running at their houses and the similar
-action of numerous librarians in withdrawing his
-books from their shelves is simply another proof of
-the marvellous powers of stultification possessed by
-the humans of the present time. These managers,
-having the scattering wits of birds, do not seem to
-appreciate that, whatever the character of the author,
-the plays he has written were as bad before they
-were produced as they are now that he has been so
-effectually extinguished; and these librarians cannot
-comprehend, evidently, that his books were fully as
-immoral as they are now when they were first put on
-the shelves. Would it not be a refreshing thing to
-find a theatrical manager who managed a theater because
-he had an honest purpose of elevating, perpetuating,
-purifying and strengthening the drama,
-instead of speculating in it as a Jew speculates in old
-clothes? And would it not be a marvel to discover
-librarian who knew something about books?</p>
-
-<p><img class="inline" src="images/deco1.jpg" alt="" /> Buffalo, New York, is getting to be very classic in<span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_25"></a>[25]</span>
-some things. It tolerated the nude with great
-equanimity in the recent Art Exhibition and exhibits
-the female embodiment of everything ideal, from the
-German muse of song to the still more German muse
-of barley products, at the great variety of fests, more
-or less related to beer, that follow in swift succession
-in that town. But the classic climax was reached on
-Good Friday of this year, when the Venus of Milo,
-mounted on a Bock beer pedestal, was the center
-piece of an Easter symbol picture in a Hebrew clothing
-advertisement. The limit of Buffalo congruity
-seems to have been reached.</p>
-
-<p><img class="inline" src="images/deco1.jpg" alt="" /> <i>The Chip-Munk</i> for May has a bit of folk-lore
-about a man who advised another to join a conspiracy
-of silence. This item appeared in 1893 and during
-1894 was published by actual count in one hundred
-and forty-nine newspapers. The editors of
-<i>The Chip-Munk</i> are a bit slow in reading their exchanges.</p>
-
-<p><img class="inline" src="images/deco1.jpg" alt="" /> The Two Orphans at the Kate Claxton Building,
-Chicago Stockyards, have a motto on their letter
-heads that reads, “We are the people and wisdom
-will die with us.”</p>
-
-<p><img class="inline" src="images/deco1.jpg" alt="" /> The editor of <i>The Baseburner</i>, who claims to be a
-veritist, states that it is not true that the Garland
-stoves were named after Ham Garland of Chicago<span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_26"></a>[26]</span>
-Stockyards; but the fact is Garland named himself
-after the stoves.</p>
-
-<p><img class="inline" src="images/deco1.jpg" alt="" /> <i>Current Literature</i> recently had a long article on
-Louise Imogene Guinly. Doubtless the spelling of
-the name was a typographical error, as the editor
-probably refers to Miss Louisa Imogene Quinney,
-who is postmistress at Auburn, New York, and
-daughter of Richard Quinney, manufacturer of the
-famous Quinney Mineral Water.</p>
-
-<p><img class="inline" src="images/deco1.jpg" alt="" /> Judge Robert Grant has in preparation a series of
-articles called “How to Live on a Million a Minute
-and Have Money to Burn.”</p>
-
-<p><img class="inline" src="images/deco1.jpg" alt="" /> I hear the voice of the editors of <i>The Chip-Munk</i>
-complaining that <i>Little Journeys</i>, <i>The Bibelot</i>, <i>Chips</i>
-and other publications are base, would-be imitators
-of their own chaste periodical. Why, you sweet
-things, did you know that many hundred years ago a
-great printer made a book which was printed in black
-inside with a cover in red and black. I believe this
-is the thing which you claim is original with yourselves.
-So far as the rest of the periodicals are
-concerned I have no means of knowing whether they
-are imitations or not, but <i>Little Journeys</i> was in type
-and printed long before <i>The Chip-Munk</i> came out
-of its hole.</p>
-
-<p><img class="inline" src="images/deco1.jpg" alt="" /> Messrs. Copeland &amp; Day of Boston recently published<span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_27"></a>[27]</span>
-for Mr. Stephen Crane a book which he called
-“The Black Riders.” I don’t know why; the
-riders might have as easily been green or yellow or
-baby-blue for all the book tells about them, and I
-think the title, “The Pink Rooters,” would have
-been better, but it doesn’t matter. My friend, The
-Onlooker, of <i>Town Topics</i>, quotes one of the verses
-and says this, which I heartily endorse:</p>
-
-<div class="poetry-container">
-<div class="poetry">
-  <div class="stanza">
-    <div class="verse indent0">I saw a man pursuing the horizon;</div>
-    <div class="verse indent0">Round and round they sped.</div>
-    <div class="verse indent0">I was disturbed at this;</div>
-    <div class="verse indent0">I accosted the man.</div>
-    <div class="verse indent0">“It is futile,” I said,</div>
-    <div class="verse indent0">“You can never”——</div>
-    <div class="verse indent0">“You lie,” he cried.</div>
-    <div class="verse indent0">And ran on.</div>
-  </div>
-</div>
-</div>
-
-<p>This was Mr. Howells proving that Ibsen is valuable
-and interesting. It is to be hoped that Mr.
-Crane will write another poem about him after his
-legs have been worn off.</p>
-
-<p><img class="inline" src="images/deco1.jpg" alt="" /> I was moved to read Mr. Hermann Sudermann’s
-diverting novel, “The Wish,” upon observing an extended
-notice in the “Sub Rosa” column of the
-Buffalo <i>Courier</i>. The writer therein alleged that
-the novel taught a great moral lesson, and desiring
-to be taught a great moral lesson I bought the book.
-It treats of the wish of a girl for her sister’s death in
-order that she might marry the husband. I suppose<span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_28"></a>[28]</span>
-the great moral truth is that one should not wish for
-such things, but I supposed that had been taught in
-one of the Commandments, which tells of coveting
-thy neighbor’s wife, and my Sunday School teacher
-used to tell me that it referred equally to husbands.
-I was evidently mistaken, and Hermann Sudermann
-is hereby hailed as a teacher of morals. I should
-think, from the style of the “Sub Rosa” article,
-that the writer is a woman. If she is, I’ll bet her
-feet are cold if she enjoys such things as this:</p>
-
-<div class="blockquote">
-
-<p>When Old Hellinger entered the gable room he
-saw a sight which froze the blood in his veins. His
-son’s body lay stretched on the ground. As he fell
-he must have clutched the supports of the bier on
-which the dead girl had been placed, and dragged
-down the whole erection with him; for on the top of
-him, between the broken planks, lay the corpse, in
-its long, white shroud, its motionless face upon his
-face, its bared arms thrown over his head. At this
-moment he regained consciousness, and started up.
-The dead girl’s head sank down from his and bumped
-on the floor.</p>
-</div>
-
-<p>This cheerful book is translated from the German
-by Lily Henkel and published by the Appletons. I
-commend it to Mr. Bliss Carman and his shroud
-washers.</p>
-
-<p><img class="inline" src="images/deco1.jpg" alt="" /> Mr. Thomas B. Mosher, of Portland, Maine,
-deserves the thanks of the reading public for the
-issuing of <i>The Bibelot</i>. Each month this dainty<span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_29"></a>[29]</span>
-periodical comes like a dash of salt water on a hot
-day, and is as refreshing. After reading the longings
-and the heartburnings of the various degenerates who
-inflict their stuff on us these days, Mr. Mosher’s
-“Sappho” comes and makes us really believe that
-there is a man up on the coast of Maine who has the
-salt of the sea and the breath of the pines in him, and
-is willing to think that there are other people who
-care for purity and sweetness, rather than such literature
-as “Vistas” and the plays of Maeterlinck.</p>
-
-<p><img class="inline" src="images/deco1.jpg" alt="" /> When in five consecutive stories, printed in the
-same periodical, the hero or heroine has ended the
-narrative by shooting himself or herself, is it not
-about time to hire somebody to invent some other
-denouement?</p>
-
-<p><img class="inline" src="images/deco1.jpg" alt="" /> Many a man’s reputation would not know his
-character if they met on the street.</p>
-
-<p><img class="inline" src="images/deco1.jpg" alt="" /> To be stupid when inclined and dull when you
-wish is a boon that only goes with high friendship.</p>
-
-<p><img class="inline" src="images/deco1.jpg" alt="" /> Every man has moments when he doubts his ability.
-So does every woman at times doubt her wit
-and beauty and long to see them mirrored in a masculine
-eye. This is why flattery is acceptable. A
-woman will doubt everything you say except it be
-compliments to herself—here she believes you truthful
-and mentally admires you for your discernment.</p>
-
-<p><span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_30"></a>[30]</span></p>
-
-<div class="figcenter">
-<img src="images/deco1.jpg" width="30" height="30" alt="" />
-</div>
-
-<h3>STIGMATA.</h3>
-
-<div class="poetry-container">
-<div class="poetry">
-  <div class="stanza">
-    <div class="verse indent0">“Behold the miracle!” he cried—</div>
-    <div class="verse indent0">The sombre priest who stood beside</div>
-    <div class="verse indent0">A figure on whose snowy breast</div>
-    <div class="verse indent0">The outlines of a cross expressed</div>
-    <div class="verse indent0">In ruddy life-drops ebbed and flowed;</div>
-    <div class="verse indent0">“Behold th’ imprimatur of God!”</div>
-  </div>
-  <div class="stanza">
-    <div class="verse indent0">A kneeling woman raised her eyes;</div>
-    <div class="verse indent0">Lo! At the sight, in swift surprise,</div>
-    <div class="verse indent0">Ere awe-struck lips a prayer could speak</div>
-    <div class="verse indent0">Love’s stigma glowed on brow and cheek;</div>
-    <div class="verse indent0">And one in reverence bent his head—</div>
-    <div class="verse indent0">“Behold the miracle?” he said.</div>
-  </div>
-  <div class="stanza">
-    <div class="verse right"><span class="smcap">William McIntosh.</span></div>
-  </div>
-</div>
-</div>
-
-<div class="figcenter">
-<img src="images/deco1.jpg" width="30" height="30" alt="" />
-</div>
-
-<h3>THE MAGAZINES.</h3>
-
-<p><i>Kate Field’s Wash</i> is dry.</p>
-
-<p><i>The Arena</i> has sand.</p>
-
-<p>“Sub-Tragic” is the latest description of Vic.
-Woodhull’s <i>Humanitarian</i>.</p>
-
-<p><i>McClure’s</i> is getting a little weary with its living
-pictures.</p>
-
-<p><i>Scribner’s</i> has a thrilling article on “Books We
-Have Published.”</p>
-
-<p><i>Godey’s</i> is very gay in its second childhood.</p>
-
-<p><span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_31"></a>[31]</span></p>
-
-<p>Judge Tourgee’s <i>Basis</i> isn’t business. “It’s pretty,
-but it isn’t war.”</p>
-
-<p><i>The Century</i>, it is said, will insert a page or two of
-reading matter between the Italian art and the ads.</p>
-
-<p><i>The Basis</i> is out with prizes for poets and sermon
-writers. It was as certain as the law of nature makes
-the filling of every vacuum at some time, that somewhere
-and at some time these people would get their
-reward. It seems to be coming now. But where
-and when will be the reward of the people who read
-what they write? The thought of their fate is all
-shuddery.</p>
-
-<p>Ginger used to be in evidence in magazines and
-pumpkin pies. Squash is a prominent ingredient
-now.</p>
-
-<p>If <i>Peterson’s</i> wouldn’t mix ads. and reading matter
-in their books and on title pages the cause of current
-literature would be advanced.</p>
-
-<p>Between Grant’s essays on the art of living and
-the mild satire of “The Point of View,” it really
-looks as if the Tattler had come again—a little disembodied
-for Dick Steele, but in character.</p>
-
-<div class="figcenter">
-<img src="images/deco4.jpg" width="45" height="30" alt="" />
-</div>
-
-<p><span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_32"></a>[32]</span></p>
-
-<h3>THE BOK BILLS OF NARCISSUS.</h3>
-
-<div class="poetry-container">
-<div class="poetry">
-  <div class="stanza">
-    <div class="verse indent0">“Narcissus is the glory of his race,</div>
-    <div class="verse indent0">For who does nothing with a better grace.”</div>
-  </div>
-  <div class="stanza">
-    <div class="verse right"><span class="smcap">Young</span>—<i>Love of Fame.</i></div>
-  </div>
-</div>
-</div>
-
-<div class="poetry-container">
-<div class="poetry">
-  <div class="stanza">
-    <div class="verse indent0"><i>Narcissus: or, The Self-Lover.</i></div>
-  </div>
-  <div class="stanza">
-    <div class="verse right"><span class="smcap">James Shirley</span>, 1646.</div>
-  </div>
-</div>
-</div>
-
-<table>
-  <tr>
-    <td colspan="2"><p class="right"><span class="smcap">Philadelphia</span>, June 1, 1895.</p></td>
-  </tr>
-  <tr>
-    <td colspan="2"><p class="noindent"><span class="smcap">W. D. Howells</span>:</p></td>
-  </tr>
-  <tr>
-    <td colspan="2"><p class="center"><span class="smcap">To</span> <span class="spacer">EDWARD
-    W. BOK,</span> <span class="smcap">Dr.</span></p></td>
-  </tr>
-  <tr>
-    <td>42 sq. inches in Boiler Plate. “Literary Letter,” on What I Know of Howells’s Modesty</td>
-    <td class="tdr">$4 20</td>
-  </tr>
-  <tr>
-    <td>Mentioning Howells’s name, 730,000 times in same (up to date)</td>
-    <td class="tdr">7 30</td>
-  </tr>
-  <tr>
-    <td>Cussing <i>Trilby</i> (your suggestion)</td>
-    <td class="tdr">20</td>
-  </tr>
-  <tr>
-    <td></td>
-    <td class="tdr total">$11 70</td>
-  </tr>
-  <tr>
-    <td colspan="2"><p class="noindent">Less 2 per cent. for cash.</p></td>
-  </tr>
-  <tr>
-    <td colspan="2"><p class="noindent">Please remit.</p></td>
-  </tr>
-</table>
-
-<div class="figcenter">
-<img src="images/deco5.jpg" width="50" height="30" alt="" />
-</div>
-
-<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop" />
-
-<div class="max30">
-
-<p class="noindent larger">Die Heintzemannsche<br />
-Buchdruckerei <img class="inline" src="images/deco6.jpg" alt="" /> <img class="inline" src="images/deco6.jpg" alt="" /></p>
-
-<p class="noindent">In Boston, Mass., empfiehlt sich zur geschmackvollen und preiswerten
-Herstellung von feinen Druckarbeiten aller Art, als: Schul- und
-Lehrbucher in allen Sprachen, Schul-Examinationspapiere, Diplome,
-Zirkulare, Preisverzeichnisse, Geschafts-Kataloge u. s. w. Herstellung
-von ganzen Werken mit oder ohne Illustrationen, von der einfachsten bis
-zur reichsten Ausfuhrung.</p>
-
-<p class="center"><span class="larger">Carl H. Heintzemann,</span><br />
-234 Congress Street, <span class="spacer">&#160;</span> Boston, Mass.</p>
-
-<hr />
-
-<p class="dcap">WANTED—Books on the History and Mythology of <b>Sweden</b>, <b>Denmark</b>,
-<b>Norway</b>, <b>Lapland</b>, <b>Finland</b>, <b>Greenland</b>, <b>Iceland</b>, <b>etc.</b>, in
-any language. Also maps, pamphlets, manuscripts, magazines and any
-work on Northern Subjects, works of General Literature, etc. Address,
-giving titles, dates, condition, etc., with price,</p>
-
-<p class="center">JOHN A. STERNE,<br />
-5247 Fifth Avenue, <span class="spacer">&#160;</span> Chicago, Ill.</p>
-
-<p class="center">All kinds of Old Books and Magazines bought.</p>
-
-</div>
-
-<div style='display:block; margin-top:4em'>*** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE PHILISTINE: A PERIODICAL OF PROTEST (VOL. I, NO. 1, JUNE 1895) ***</div>
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