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- <title>Christmas chat: or, Observations on the late change at court, on the different characters of the INS and OUTS; and on the present state of publick affairs, by Anonymous—A Project Gutenberg eBook</title>
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-
-<div style='text-align:center; font-size:1.2em; font-weight:bold'>The Project Gutenberg eBook of Christmas Chat, by Anonymous</div>
-
-<div style='display:block; margin:1em 0'>
-This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere in the United States and
-most other parts of the world at no cost and with almost no restrictions
-whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms
-of the Project Gutenberg License included with this eBook or online
-at <a href="https://www.gutenberg.org">www.gutenberg.org</a>. If you
-are not located in the United States, you will have to check the laws of the
-country where you are located before using this eBook.
-</div>
-
-<table style='min-width:0; padding:0; margin-left:0; border-collapse:collapse'>
- <tr><td style='padding:0'>Title:</td><td style='padding:0'>Christmas Chat</td></tr>
- <tr><td style='padding:0'></td><td style='padding:0'>or, Observations on the late change at court, on the different characters of the ins and outs; and on the present state of publick affairs.</td></tr>
-</table>
-
-<div style='display:block; margin-top:1em; margin-bottom:1em; margin-left:2em; text-indent:-2em'>Author: Anonymous</div>
-
-<div style='display:block; margin:1em 0'>Release Date: May 30, 2021 [eBook #65472]</div>
-
-<div style='display:block; margin:1em 0'>Language: English</div>
-
-<div style='display:block; margin:1em 0'>Character set encoding: UTF-8</div>
-
-<div style='display:block; margin-left:2em; text-indent:-2em'>Produced by: Charlene Taylor, Barry Abrahamsen, and the Online Distributed Proofreading Team at https://www.pgdp.net (This file was produced from images generously made available by The Internet Archive/Canadian Libraries)</div>
-
-<div style='margin-top:2em; margin-bottom:4em'>*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK CHRISTMAS CHAT ***</div>
-
-<div class='figcenter id001'>
-<img src='images/cover.jpg' alt='' class='ig001' />
-</div>
-<div class='pbb'>
- <hr class='pb c000' />
-</div>
-<div>
- <h1 class='c001'><span class='c002'><i>CHRISTMAS CHAT:</i></span><br /> <br /><span class='xlarge'>OR,</span><br /> <br /> <span class='c003'>OBSERVATIONS</span><br /> <br /><span class='xlarge'>On the Late</span><br /> <br /> <span class='c004'><span class='sc'>Change</span> at <span class='sc'>Court</span>,</span><br /> <br /> <span class='xlarge'>On the different</span><br /> <br /><span class='c005'>Characters of the INS and OUTS;</span><br /> <br /> <span class='xlarge'>And on the</span><br /> <br /><span class='c006'>Present <span class='sc'>State</span> of <span class='sc'>Publick Affairs</span>.</span></h1>
-</div>
-
-<div class='nf-center-c0'>
-<div class='nf-center c000'>
- <div><span class='xlarge'>A</span></div>
- <div class='c000'><em class='gesperrt'><span class='c007'>DIALOGUE</span></em></div>
- <div class='c000'><span class='xlarge'>Spoke at the Country Seat of one of the</span></div>
- <div><span class='xlarge'><i>New Ministry</i>, in the late Holy Days,</span></div>
- <div><span class='xlarge'>the Day before his Re-election;</span></div>
- <div class='c000'><em class='gesperrt'><span class='c007'>BETWEEN</span></em></div>
- </div>
-</div>
-
-<div class='lg-container-l c008'>
- <div class='linegroup'>
- <div class='group'>
- <div class='line'><span class='c007'>Mr. <span class='sc'>Broadbottom</span>,</span></div>
- <div class='line'><span class='c007'>Mr. <span class='sc'>Overall</span>,</span></div>
- <div class='line'><span class='c007'>Mr. <span class='sc'>Roseband</span>,</span></div>
- <div class='line'><span class='c007'>Sir <span class='sc'>John Probeum</span>,</span></div>
- <div class='line'><span class='c007'>Mr. <span class='sc'>Smoothwell</span>, &amp;</span></div>
- <div class='line'><span class='c007'>Mr. <span class='sc'>Blunt</span>.</span></div>
- </div>
- </div>
-</div>
-
-<hr class='c009' />
-
-<div class='nf-center-c0'>
- <div class='nf-center'>
- <div><span class='xlarge'><em class='gesperrt'><i>LONDON</i></em>:</span></div>
- <div class='c000'>Printed for <span class='sc'>M. Cooper</span>, at the Globe in <i>Paternoster Row</i>; 1745.</div>
- </div>
-</div>
-
-<div class='pbb'>
- <hr class='pb c000' />
-</div>
-<div class='figcenter id001'>
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_1'>1</span>
-<img src='images/i001a.jpg' alt='' class='ig001' />
-</div>
-
-<div class='nf-center-c0'>
-<div class='nf-center c010'>
- <div><span class='c004'><i>CHRISTMAS CHAT:</i></span></div>
- <div class='c000'><span class='xlarge'>OR,</span></div>
- <div class='c000'><span class='c004'>OBSERVATIONS</span></div>
- <div class='c000'><span class='xlarge'>On the Late</span></div>
- <div class='c000'><span class='c011'><span class='sc'>Change</span> at <span class='sc'>Court</span>,</span></div>
- <div class='c000'><span class='xlarge'>A</span></div>
- <div class='c000'><em class='gesperrt'><span class='c007'>DIALOGUE</span></em></div>
- </div>
-</div>
-
-<hr class='c012' />
-<p class='c013'><i>Broadbottom</i>, Sir <i>John Probeum</i>, <i>Overall</i>,
-<i>Roseband</i>, <i>Blunt</i>, and <i>Smoothwell</i>, sitting
-round a Table at <i>Broadbottom’s</i> House.</p>
-
-<p class='c014'><i>Overall</i>.</p>
-<div class='c014'>
- <img class='drop-capi' src='images/i001b.jpg' width='100' alt='' />
-</div><p class='drop-capi1_1'>
-TRUCE with Politics, I
-beseech you, Gentlemen.——I
-gad! ’tis unconscionable
-to lecture a Man
-thus at his own House.</p>
-
-<p class='c014'><span class='pageno' id='Page_2'>2</span><i>Broadbottom</i>. By no means, Mr. <i>Overall</i>;
-I look upon the Freedom with which my
-worthy Neighbours here treat me, as an
-Instance of their Friendship and Regard.</p>
-
-<p class='c014'><i>Roseband</i>. There spoke the Christian and
-Man of sound Understanding——</p>
-
-<p class='c014'><i>Over</i>. Pshaw! P—x! What have we
-Fox-hunters to do with sound Understandings?——Give
-me a sound Bottom, Parson,
-and you are welcome to keep your Christianity
-and sound Understanding for your
-next <i>Christmas</i> Conversation. Ha, ha!</p>
-
-<p class='c014'><i>Blunt</i>. Right, Mr. <i>Overall</i>; I say a sound
-Bottom too.</p>
-
-<p class='c014'><i>Over</i>. Come, Gentlemen, let the Toast
-go round.——To all sound Bottoms—No
-Affront, I hope, to any one here.——What
-say’st thou, honest <i>Blunt</i>?</p>
-
-<p class='c014'><i>Blunt</i>. I say, the Vicar need not make
-those d——d wry Faces at Toasting the best
-Thing in Nature.——You have been paying
-Homage for twenty Years to a <i>Broadbottom</i>,
-and now winch at the naming a <i>Sound</i> one.——Ah!
-Mr. <i>Roseband</i>; the <i>Jesuit</i> sticks
-to the Cloth in <i>England</i> as at <i>Rome</i>.</p>
-
-<p class='c014'><i>Smoothwell</i>. Why so, Mr. <i>Blunt</i>? The
-Words <i>Sound Bottom</i> convey an Idea which
-Mr. <i>Roseband</i> might wish not to conceive.</p>
-
-<p class='c014'><i>Blunt</i>. And pray, good Mr. <i>Smoothwell</i>,
-what is there of indecent or unseemly in the
-Idea conceived at the mention of those two
-harmless Words, <i>Sound</i> and <i>Bottom</i>?</p>
-
-<p class='c014'><span class='pageno' id='Page_3'>3</span><i>Over</i>. Wou’d a reverend Divine wish to
-be put in Mind of the Days of his Youth?
-Ha, ha!—— Mr. <i>Blunt</i>, had you been bred
-at <i>Oxford</i>, as the Doctor was, you wou’d
-have known that all are not <i>Sound</i> that grace
-<i>Magdalen</i> Walks on a Summer’s Evening.
-Ha, ha!</p>
-
-<p class='c014'>Sir <i>John</i>. Mr. <i>Roseband</i>, you must not
-mind the Fox-hunter; you know his Way;
-he treats his Friends as freely as he wishes
-they would treat him.</p>
-
-<p class='c014'><i>Rose</i>. I believe so, Sir <i>John</i>, and therefore
-am in full Charity with Mr. <i>Overall</i>. But
-I can’t so readily digest my Neighbour
-<i>Blunt</i>’s coupling the <i>English</i> Vicar with the
-<i>Romish</i> Jesuit.</p>
-
-<p class='c014'><i>Blunt</i>. In their Politics only; as for Religion,
-I leave that to the great Searcher of
-Hearts.</p>
-
-<p class='c014'><i>Over</i>. Ah, dear <i>Blunt</i>! how many modern
-Hearts will bear a Search?</p>
-
-<p class='c014'><i>Blunt</i>. Ask Mr. <i>Broadbottom</i>; he was
-last at Court.</p>
-
-<p class='c014'><i>Broad</i>. I was so, Mr. <i>Blunt</i>, but you
-know I am but a late Comer there.</p>
-
-<p class='c014'><i>Blunt</i>. Perhaps it had been as well for
-yourself and your Country, if you had not
-come there at all.—— You’ll excuse my
-Bluntness, Mr. <i>Broadbottom</i>, you know I
-speak freely to those I wish well.</p>
-
-<p class='c014'><i>Broad</i>. I know your Worth, and thank
-you for your Freedom.</p>
-
-<p class='c014'><span class='pageno' id='Page_4'>4</span><i>Blunt</i>. I hope you do, because I mean to
-continue and deserve your Friendship, if
-you continue your Country’s Friend at
-Court.——To be plain with you, Mr. <i>Broadbottom</i>,
-I am not altogether reconciled to
-the critical <i>Time</i> and <i>Manner</i> of your going
-to Court. ’tis an infectious Air, against
-which <i>Abstinence</i> alone is the Specific.</p>
-
-<p class='c014'><i>Over</i>. ’Sflesh! <i>Blunt</i>, you don’t expect
-your late worthy Member, who so often
-cram’d your Brother Aldermen and yourself
-with Ham and Chicken, would keep Lent
-at Court?</p>
-
-<p class='c014'><i>Blunt</i>. Let him but abstain from entering
-into any Covenants, and he may swill
-as much as he will of his Majesty’s Old-Hock.</p>
-
-<p class='c014'><i>Broad</i>. Covenants! What Covenants do
-you suppose, should be expected from me?</p>
-
-<p class='c014'><i>Blunt</i>. The direct contrary of those you
-entered into with our Corporation at your
-last Election.——Perhaps, you forget them.——Shall
-I refresh your Memory?</p>
-
-<p class='c014'><i>Broad</i>. You need not. I am come down to
-make you fresh Assurances of serving my
-Country to the utmost of my Power.</p>
-
-<p class='c014'><i>Blunt</i>. I know you are come down to be
-re-elected; and that this Company have
-been invited here to-day, to receive your
-Excuses for your late Acceptance of an Employment.—</p>
-
-<p class='c014'><span class='pageno' id='Page_5'>5</span><i>Smooth</i>. Mr. <i>Blunt</i>, your Corporation
-could not expect that their Representative
-would never accept of a Place under the
-Crown; therefore what Excuses has the
-Gentleman to make?</p>
-
-<p class='c014'><i>Blunt</i>. More, I fear, than you can make
-for him with all your Quirks of Law.
-If he accepted of a Post without any Salvo,
-and forgets that he has a Post whenever he is
-to vote in Parliament, I will then say that
-he needs not make Excuses for going to
-Court.</p>
-
-<p class='c014'>Sir <i>John</i>. Ay, Mr. <i>Blunt</i>, provided my
-worthy Neighbour, <i>Broadbottom</i>, turns not
-a mere <i>Courtier</i>, by going to Court, he
-shall have all our Consents to stay at Court
-and rise there.</p>
-
-<p class='c014'><i>Blunt</i>. A Man may rise in the Army and
-Navy, and meritoriously; but what dirty
-Work must a Man trudge thro’ to rise at
-Court?</p>
-
-<p class='c014'><i>Over</i>. Why should a Man be obliged to
-do more servile Work at Court than in the
-Church, where we see the Learned and Pious
-rise, and are translated every Day?——I
-expect my good Friend here, Mr. <i>Roseband</i>,
-to rise to a Deanery soon, now his
-Patron has taken a Stride to Court.</p>
-
-<p class='c014'>Sir <i>John</i>. And shou’d Mr. <i>Broadbottom</i>
-rise at Court, as I doubt not he will if he continues
-there longer than the present Session
-of Parliament; why might not my reverend
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_6'>6</span>Neighbour here, rise from the Deanery to
-a Mitre?</p>
-
-<p class='c014'><i>Broad</i>. Sir <i>John</i>, you have been always my
-Friend; so have you Mr. <i>Blunt</i>. Gentlemen,
-you are all of you my Friends, and as such—have
-a Right to examine my late Conduct.
-I have accepted of a Place, ’tis true, without
-consulting you; but hope in so doing,
-not to have forfeited the good Opinion
-which I flatter myself you always entertain’d
-of me.</p>
-
-<p class='c014'>Sir <i>John</i>. Since we are, and you think
-us your Friends, ’tis fit we should deal with
-you like Friends. To be plain with you,
-Mr. <i>Broadbottom</i>, we here in the Country,
-who wish well to our King and the Nation,
-think ourselves justify’d in conceiving a
-Jealousy of the Nature, Time and Manner
-of the late or rather the present Change in
-the Ministry. I will explain myself.—— ’tis
-not so properly a <i>Change</i> of, as an <i>Ingraftment</i>
-upon the Ministry. Supposing
-the few of your Party that are brought <i>in</i>,
-were to continue as honest and sincere, as
-those <i>Deserters</i>, who made room for them,
-were disingenuous and self-interested; what
-can you do against Numbers? What Success
-can poor <i>England</i> expect from the Endeavours
-of so few?</p>
-
-<p class='c014'><i>Broad</i>. But, Sir <i>John</i>, you forget that
-the Opposition grew.</p>
-
-<p class='c014'><span class='pageno' id='Page_7'>7</span>Sir <i>John</i>. No, Sir, I don’t forget that
-Opposition founded on virtuous Principles
-will always grow. But what <i>Opposition</i>
-can you expect to grow in a Court? You
-late Comers there are but the Tail of the
-Administration. Can you direct the Head
-and Body? Must it not move as they direct,
-or be lopt off? What will Opposition in
-Council avail, where the Majority will be
-so great against you? And as for Opposition
-in P——t, there will be none, there
-can be none. The late <i>Deserters</i>, who are
-now flung out, should they grumble and
-oppose, no Creature living will adhere to
-them that has a Drachm of either Sense or
-Virtue. And by the present Scheme, you
-who were late Leaders of Opposition, are
-taken off, and consequently all Opposition
-ceases. I wish I may be mistaken; but,
-methinks, I see a Scheme, and the artfullest
-and deepest that ever was laid in this
-Nation, now put in Execution.</p>
-
-<p class='c014'><i>Over</i>. How, Sir <i>John</i>! a Scheme deeper
-than the <i>Excise</i>?</p>
-
-<p class='c014'><i>Blunt</i>. Or last Year’s <i>Invasion</i>, which
-produced such Chearfulness in granting more
-Millions than ever were granted in any one
-Session before?</p>
-
-<p class='c014'><i>Rose</i>. Or the late Sir <i>R——t</i>’s Scheme
-for securing his own Retreat?</p>
-
-<p class='c014'><i>Blunt</i>. Retreat! Do you think it a Retreat
-for a Man to quit the Stage to go behind
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_8'>8</span>the Curtain, where he sets all the Puppets
-in Motion?</p>
-
-<p class='c014'>Sir <i>John</i>. He does so; and this is not
-the least Adroit of his Motions. All the
-present Ministry, the late small <i>Engraftment</i>
-excepted, are his known Creatures.
-They were most of them of his own bringing
-up, and of course act by his Directions.</p>
-
-<p class='c014'><i>Broad</i>. But, Sir <i>John</i>, how shall we be
-affected by his Motions? I hope you don’t
-suppose he will be able to influence us
-New comers, as you call us, however he
-may direct his Pupils.</p>
-
-<p class='c014'>Sir <i>John</i>. I hope he won’t; but I’ll answer
-for it, he does not now matter whether
-he can or no. He has lull’d you into a
-Stupor, and having unperceptibly depriv’d
-you of your Sting, you are no longer the
-terrible Men you appeared to the Court
-some time ago.</p>
-
-<p class='c014'><i>Over</i>. They are now become the <i>Drones</i>
-of the Hive; ha, ha!</p>
-
-<p class='c014'>Sir <i>John</i>. They are really no better. Pardon
-me, Mr. <i>Broadbottom</i>, if I think the
-Epithet fits all you who are brought in to
-countenance Measures the Nation disapproves
-of——</p>
-
-<p class='c014'><i>Blunt</i>. To colour an ignominious Peace,
-which is thought to be on the Anvil, because
-the late Conduct of our Superiors renders
-a Peace of any kind absolutely necessary.</p>
-
-<p class='c014'><span class='pageno' id='Page_9'>9</span><i>Over</i>. And to be kick’d out again as soon
-as those dirty Ends are answered, which
-they were introduc’d to promote: Gad,
-Brother Foxhunter, I should not care to be
-<i>rump’d</i> after I had said <i>yea</i> and <i>nay</i> as directed.
-You see what End the late Patriot
-<i>Pretenders</i> are come to. —— Z—ns Man!
-fall not, like those Coxcombs, ’tween two
-Stools.</p>
-
-<p class='c014'>Sir <i>John</i>. There lies the Depth of the
-present Scheme, which is but the second
-Part of the late. The late <i>Deserters</i>, as
-they are justly call’d, saw not that they
-were digging Pits for themselves, while they
-were bargaining to drop their Party for
-Places at Court. What better, Mr <i>Broadbottom</i>,
-have you been lately doing for yourself?
-If you answer the <i>Purpose</i> of your
-being taken into the Ministry, supposing it
-disagreeable to the Nation, you are irrecoverably
-lost in the Opinion of all who
-esteem’d you before; and of consequence
-will be no better than a Drone all your
-Life long.</p>
-
-<p class='c014'><i>Broad</i>. Pray, Sir <i>John</i>, why will you
-suppose the <i>Purpose</i> of the Ministry to be
-disagreeable to the Nation?</p>
-
-<p class='c014'>Sir <i>John</i>. Because I have known in my
-Time but very few, if any Ministerial
-<i>Purposes</i> that deserv’d public Approbation.</p>
-
-<p class='c014'><i>Broad</i>. You would not have us be against
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_10'>10</span>the Continuance of the War, till an honourable
-Peace can be obtain’d?</p>
-
-<p class='c014'><i>Smooth</i>. Nor against the Support of the
-War while it continues.</p>
-
-<p class='c014'><i>Rose</i>. Nor against such a Peace, as the
-Success of the War may intitle us to.</p>
-
-<p class='c014'>Sir <i>John</i>. So! the Lessons are already put
-by Heart.</p>
-
-<p class='c014'><i>Over</i>. Why not? you forget how apt
-Lawyers and Divines are to learn. Ha, ha!</p>
-
-<p class='c014'><i>Blunt</i>. And Patriots too, when once they
-creep within the Palace Gates.</p>
-
-<p class='c014'><i>Broad</i>. Mr. <i>Blunt</i>, I am well acquainted
-with the Uprightness of your Heart.
-You love me, and therefore fear I am to
-be deluded from my Duty to my Country
-by the Allurements of a Post. But let me
-intreat my Friends to suppress their Fears
-till the End of the Session.</p>
-
-<p class='c014'><i>Blunt</i>. I should not wonder by the End of
-the present Session, or at least before the Beginning
-of the next, to see you and your Brethren
-reduced to your primitive Nakedness.
-Of what Use can you be, after you grant
-all the Court wants, and reject or throw
-cold Water on every Motion for the Benefit
-of the Nation?</p>
-
-<p class='c014'>Sir <i>John</i>. Motion for the Benefit of the
-Nation, said you! Who will make such a
-Motion? Or if made, who will support it?
-Neighbour <i>Blunt</i>, I don’t wonder that
-you, who never sat in Parliament, should
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_11'>11</span>mistake the Nature of <i>Motions</i> made there;
-but I, who represented your Borough in
-my younger Days, am able from my Experience
-to inform you, that no important
-<i>Motion</i> of public Benefit will be made this
-Session; or, if fortuitously made, will be
-seconded. The different Parties in the
-House, and Parties with different Views
-there always were and will be, are led by a
-<i>few</i>, who may be said to direct all the
-Operations of the Session. Among that <i>few</i>,
-there is generally some one or two who are
-permitted to take the Lead in all Deliberations,
-and from thence may be said to
-direct the whole. Supposing then that the
-Court should find means to take off not
-only that <i>one</i>, or those <i>two</i> or <i>three</i>, but
-all the Chiefs or Directors of an Opposition
-at the Beginning of a Session, how can it
-be expected that any Motions of Moment
-will be made? or, as I said before, if made
-will be seconded? All Motions to be made,
-that are of consequence, are first projected
-by the Leaders, and communicated and recommended
-at their private Meetings and
-Clubs. But strip the Party of such Leaders,
-before they have Time to make, or
-even resolve on a new Choice of Chiefs, and
-there is an End of all such necessary and
-usual Communications and Recommendations,
-and probably of the very Meetings
-antecedent to them. In time, a new Set
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_12'>12</span>of Leaders may arise, but there must be
-Proof of their Truth and Abilities before
-they can acquire the necessary Confidence;
-and such Proof is not produced hastily.</p>
-
-<p class='c014'><i>Over</i>. Right, old Sportsman. It must
-be <i>Truth</i> and <i>Time</i> that acquire the Captains
-of Foxhounds the Confidence of the
-Pack.</p>
-
-<p class='c014'><i>Smooth</i>. Mr. <i>Overall</i>, you might have
-spared your Comparison of Foxhounds and
-Members of Parliament.</p>
-
-<p class='c014'><i>Rose</i>. Nor is Sir <i>John</i>’s Doctrine of <i>Motions</i>
-less seasonable or pertinent.</p>
-
-<p class='c014'><i>Blunt</i>. Decent Mr. <i>Smoothwell</i>, and you
-cautious Mr. <i>Roseband</i>, when are apt Comparisons
-to be made or necessary, and seasonable
-Truths to be spoken, unless it be
-on such an Occasion, and at such a Time
-as the present?</p>
-
-<p class='c014'><i>Over</i>. See how these Law-and-Gospel-Mongers
-would debar a Freeborn from the
-Privilege of expostulating with the Man to
-whom he is going to delegate his Life,
-Liberty and Fortune!—— Z—ds, <i>Broadbottom</i>,
-sure you are not already become so
-rank a Courtier, as to have retained the
-Vicar of your Parish, and the Steward of
-your Manors, to padlock the friendly Lips
-of your plain and upright Neighbours?</p>
-
-<p class='c014'><i>Broad</i>. Far be it from me to endeavour
-preventing the Expostulations of my Friends.
-I have always asked the Opinion of my
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_13'>13</span>Constituents in all Matters of Moment,
-since I have been in Parliament, and hope
-they will admit that I have not misused
-the Trust committed to me.</p>
-
-<p class='c014'>Sir <i>John</i>. Sir, we believ’d you a true
-<i>Englishman</i>; at least, let me speak for myself,
-I did so, or I had not given you so
-often my Vote and Interest to represent
-your Country in Parliament: And I confess,
-that by all that appears, you have
-honourably discharged the Trust reposed in
-you. But, Sir, the good Opinion I have
-had of you, and even that which I entertain
-of you at present, are no such Securities
-for your future Conduct, considering
-the present State of Affairs, as should efface
-all Traces of Doubt and Jealousy out of
-my Mind. You are a Man, and as such,
-are not exempt from <i>Selfishness</i>, a Passion
-which Ministers never fail to sooth and
-gratify. I may believe you mean well;
-but can’t help dreading your suffering
-yourself to be <i>sweeten’d</i> from your good
-Intentions.</p>
-
-<p class='c014'><i>Broad</i>. Sir <i>John</i>, your Concern for my
-future Conduct speaks the Sincerity of your
-Friendship, and I am therefore the more oblig’d
-to you. But methinks the known
-Probity and Honour of those Men we join
-in the Administration might lay your
-Doubts and Jealousies concerning my Behaviour
-for the Time to come.</p>
-
-<p class='c014'><span class='pageno' id='Page_14'>14</span>Sir <i>John</i>. I have nothing to do with the
-private <i>Probity</i> and <i>Honour</i> of any Gentleman;
-but, Sir, if you expect I should
-think as favourably of those that have lately
-invited you to associate with them, as
-you seem to do, you are grossly mistaken.
-You differ in Opinion concerning those
-Gentlemen, whom you now seem to applaud,
-not only with me, but with yourself.
-What have those <i>most deserving Men</i> done of
-late to acquire your good Opinion? It was but
-just before you went up to the first Meeting
-of the present Session, that you heartily
-joined Mr. <i>Blunt</i> and myself, in condemning
-the <i>Passiveness</i> of all those whom you
-now associate with and praise. What have
-they done for the Public since, or ever before,
-that should endear them to you or
-any true <i>Englishman</i>? Was Sir <i>R—— W——</i>’s
-whole Administration obnoxious to the Majority
-of the Nation? was it injurious to
-all? did not those you now are <i>grafted</i>
-upon, concur with him in all his Measures?
-were they not most of them, the Creatures
-of his Power? were not the chief of
-them his Pupils, train’d up in all his Arts
-and Wiles? are they not of his rearing?
-are they not distinguishable at this very
-Hour by his Stamp?</p>
-
-<p class='c014'><i>Blunt</i>. By this Scheme of <i>Ingraftment</i> it
-plainly appears, that if they don’t wear
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_15'>15</span>his Livery in View, they wear it under their
-upper Garments.</p>
-
-<p class='c014'><i>Over</i>. So that Sir <i>Brass</i>, like his Employer,
-still has his cloven Foot in all our
-Affairs.</p>
-
-<p class='c014'><i>Blunt</i>. As sure as this new-devised <i>Ingraftment</i>
-will ruin all our <i>Affairs</i>, unless
-the <i>Projector</i> and his <i>Disciples</i> will be so
-humble as to submit to be led by the Few
-they have called in to help steer the Bark
-in a Storm.</p>
-
-<p class='c014'>Sir <i>John</i>. And what was it but their own
-servile <i>Passiveness</i> that had occasion’d the
-<i>Storm</i> which they now endeavour to quell
-by the Help of Mr. <i>Broadbottom</i> and his Brethren
-in the late Opposition? What could
-the late fallen <i>Minister</i>, of whom they
-affect to complain as the Author of all our
-Calamities; what could that <i>Phaeton</i>, I say,
-have done, had he not been supported by
-those who now affect to quit rather than
-draw with him? Had not they the Power
-of the <i>Purse</i>? had not they in that and every
-other Respect, the Means of tying up that
-<i>Adventurer</i>’s Hands from hurting his Country,
-if they would? Yes, Mr. <i>Broadbottom</i>,
-those Men you now venerate so much, had
-the <i>Power</i>, but they wanted the <i>Will</i>. And
-what was it but that fundamental, primary
-Ingredient in the Composition of some Men,
-<i>Selfishness</i>, which induced those Men to
-misuse the Power they then had?</p>
-
-<p class='c014'><span class='pageno' id='Page_16'>16</span><i>Rose</i>. By your Leave, Sir <i>John</i>, tho’ the
-late Minister, the <i>Phaeton</i>, as you call him,
-may have misused his Power; I don’t see
-why these Gentlemen who <i>remain</i> in the
-Administration should be involved in his
-Guilt.</p>
-
-<p class='c014'><i>Over</i>. Smoke the Parson, Gentlemen;
-mind how cautiously he treads on <i>Jack’s</i>
-Heels.——<i>May have misused his Power!</i>
-How gently he touches the Sore! Then
-again, the charitable <i>Man can’t see the least
-Speck of Gall</i> in the <i>Doves</i> that have thrust
-<i>Jack</i> from the <i>Barn Door</i>.</p>
-
-<p class='c014'><i>Blunt</i>. Ah! Mr. <i>Overall</i>, that <i>Barn</i> has
-made many an honest Man otherwise.</p>
-
-<p class='c014'>Sir <i>John</i>. I don’t think it so, Mr. Mayor;
-a Man truly Honest is no more to be corrupted
-than a Woman truly Chast. But as it
-is she only who is a Whore in her Heart
-that can be defiled, so is it he only who is
-a Rogue in his Heart, that can be warped
-from his Integrity.</p>
-
-<p class='c014'><i>Over</i>. Gad, Sir <i>John</i>, I should be glad
-to know where your <i>truly Honest</i> Men and
-<i>truly Chast</i> Ladies grow. For in my poor
-Observation, I knew but one Man and one
-Woman that truly deserved the Epithet.</p>
-
-<p class='c014'><i>Smooth</i>. Your Mother was the precious
-Exception of one Sex.——Ha, ha!</p>
-
-<p class='c014'><i>Rose</i>. And his pious <i>Dad</i> the other.——Ha,
-ha!</p>
-
-<p class='c014'><span class='pageno' id='Page_17'>17</span><i>Over</i>. Neither; among the Men, <i>Jack</i>
-the late M—r was the Exception, because
-he was the only Minister that ever I heard
-or read of, who had the <i>Honesty</i> to pretend
-to <i>none</i>. And among the Fair, Madame
-<i>V—te</i>, who held out till her H—d commanded
-her and conducted her himself to
-the Arms of her Lover.</p>
-
-<p class='c014'><i>Omnes</i>. Ha, ha!</p>
-
-<p class='c014'>Sir <i>John</i>. I say nothing of the Aptness of
-your Exception among the Fair; but really,
-Mr. <i>Overall</i>, you have hit it off in regard
-to the other Sex. The late M—r
-was a Prodigy in his Way. I won’t say that
-I ever knew a less virtuous Minister, but I
-will, that I never knew one made less
-Pretensions to Virtue.</p>
-
-<p class='c014'><i>Broad</i>. He courted Virtue as he did Applause.</p>
-
-<p class='c014'>Sir <i>John</i>. And was he not the Honester,
-for not pretending to that he resolved not to
-practise, and for not courting that which
-he knew he did not deserve? But what
-better Pretensions have they, who, as my
-Friend Mr. <i>Overall</i> terms it, thrust him
-from the <i>Barn Door</i>, to either Virtue or
-Applause? Did they not give a Sanction
-to all his Measures? Were not they Partners
-of his Guilt? And more, were they
-not the Partners of his Predecessor’s Guilt?
-Had the late Minister shewn less Contempt
-for them; had he wore more the Appearance
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_18'>18</span>of Modesty, or had more Deference for
-their Opinions; had he seem’d to draw with
-them; had he not ingross’d solely to himself
-the <i>Distribution</i> of the Court <i>Manna</i>: Had
-he, in short, shared with his Fellow Ministers
-the vast Emoluments arising from
-the Distribution of the <i>Secret-Service</i> Money,
-I fancy we should never have heard
-of the present unnatural <i>Ingraftment</i>.</p>
-
-<p class='c014'><i>Broad</i>. Since you will have it an <i>Ingraftment</i>
-rather than a <i>Coalition</i>, it shall be so;
-but why should it be an unnatural <i>Ingraftment</i>?</p>
-
-<p class='c014'><i>Over</i>. Why indeed? Don’t we see <i>Non-pareilles</i>
-and <i>Golden Pippins</i> daily grafted
-on <i>Crabs</i>, and yet thrive? Ha, ha!</p>
-
-<p class='c014'>Sir <i>John</i>. Yes, Mr. <i>Overall</i>; because
-they are all nourished by their common
-Parent, the Earth; and the <i>Crab-Tree</i> is a
-Channel only for the Nurture to pass thro’.
-In this Case, the Earth, from whence both
-Species receive Nourishment, remains pure
-and uninfected; the <i>Crab</i> has no more Influence
-than the <i>Pippin</i>. But can we suppose
-the Parity will hold in the other Case?
-The old <i>Standards</i> in the Administration
-ingross the <i>Soil</i>: The <i>ingrafted Shoots</i> shall
-have no more Communication with it, than
-their elder Brethren shall be pleased to permit.</p>
-
-<p class='c014'><i>Rose</i>. I am sorry to see all Sir <i>John</i>’s Observations
-tinctured with Uncharitableness.
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_19'>19</span>Why should the old <i>Standards</i>, as you call
-those that remain of the late Ministry, infect
-the Soil, by which I suppose the ——
-is meant, any more than the <i>ingrafted Shoots</i>
-or new Comers?</p>
-
-<p class='c014'>Sir <i>John</i>. The <i>new Comers</i>, for aught I
-know, wou’d be as arrant Courtiers, as
-supple Fawners in time, as the old <i>Standards</i>
-themselves, had they equal Opportunity. But
-my Life for’t, the <i>Ingrafted</i> will be kept
-at Arms Length from the Royal Ear.</p>
-
-<p class='c014'><i>Broad</i>. I hope not, Sir <i>John</i>; those we
-join are Men of Honour; and they assure
-us of going Hand in Hand with us——</p>
-
-<p class='c014'><i>Blunt</i>. To raise the <i>Supplies</i>.</p>
-
-<p class='c014'><i>Over</i>. And screen Delinquents.</p>
-
-<p class='c014'>Sir <i>John</i>. Will they join, think you, in
-National Parsimony, in the Encouragement
-of Trade and Industry, and the Discouragement
-of Venality and Corruption? Will
-they join in repealing those Laws which
-affect <i>Freedom</i>, and in lessening the vast
-Power accruing to the Crown from the
-great Weight of our Debts and Taxes, by the
-Distribution of civil Employments? Will
-they join——</p>
-
-<p class='c014'><i>Blunt</i>. Yes, Sir <i>John</i>, in fleecing the Nation
-to fill their own Pockets, and gratify
-Mr. <i>Nameless</i>.</p>
-
-<p class='c014'><i>Over</i>. That same <i>Nameless</i> must have an
-excellent <i>Digestion</i>; and sure his necessary
-Woman must have golden Days of it;
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_20'>20</span>for without doubt, he who swallows so
-much <i>Gold</i> must sh—t a great deal of the
-Metal.—— But I forget that <i>H——</i> is the
-<i>Close-stool</i>, where all the precious Excrement
-centers.</p>
-
-<p class='c014'><i>Blunt</i>. And but <i>One</i>, on this Side the
-Water, has a Key to that valuable Repository.</p>
-
-<p class='c014'><i>Rose</i>. For Cleanliness of Conversation,
-commend me to you both, Gentlemen.</p>
-
-<p class='c014'><i>Over</i>. And for doubling and time-serving,
-commend me to Gownsmen.</p>
-
-<p class='c014'><i>Broad</i>. Gentlemen, I intreat we may
-live sociably together as usual. Let us not
-give Way to Spleen or Ill-nature. Mr.
-<i>Roseband</i> and Mr. <i>Smoothwell</i> happen at
-this Time to be in a more charitable Disposition
-than the rest of the Company.
-But, I assure myself, you will be all of one
-Opinion, when you see perfect <i>Concord</i> in
-the Administration, and that <i>Union</i> directed
-to promote publick Happiness.</p>
-
-<p class='c014'>Sir <i>John</i>. Mr. <i>Broadbottom</i>, I heartily
-agree with you in the Banishment of Heat
-and Sarcasm from our Conversation; but
-can’t help dissenting from you in the other
-Point. Without giving up my Reason, I
-can’t reckon upon <i>Concord</i> between two
-Sets of Men, as seemingly different in their
-Views and Principles as can well be imagin’d.
-By all that appears hitherto, you
-lately <i>Ingrafted</i>, have acted on Principles
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_21'>21</span>the most honourable, and with Views the
-most disinterested that ever Men did;
-whereas the <i>old Standards</i> seem to have
-no Views but to <i>Self-Interest</i>, nor Principles,
-but such as are repugnant to <i>Patriotism</i>.</p>
-
-<p class='c014'><i>Over</i>. <i>Patriotism!</i> Ha, ha! Poor Wanderer!
-Where has she taken up her Habitation,
-since she was sent adrift by those
-<i>Ingrafted</i> about two Years ago upon the
-old Stock?</p>
-
-<p class='c014'><i>Blunt</i>. Patience. Mr. <i>Overall</i>, and you
-shall see her perch’d on the joint Endeavours
-of our mottley Ministry to save the
-Nation.</p>
-
-<p class='c014'><i>Broad</i>. I hope you will, Mr. <i>Blunt</i>, tho’
-you speak it with a Sneer.</p>
-
-<p class='c014'>Sir <i>John</i>. I heartily wish we may. But in
-my Mind, the Coalition on which you
-reckon so much, is as impracticable as
-squaring the Circle, if you Gentlemen
-newly <i>Ingrafted</i>, and <i>those</i> you are <i>Ingrafted</i>
-on, <i>thought</i> as you <i>spoke</i> and <i>acted</i>,
-and continue the same way of <i>thinking</i>?</p>
-
-<p class='c014'><i>Over</i>. Have not you seen, that the late
-<i>Ingrafted</i> had two Ways of <i>thinking</i>?</p>
-
-<p class='c014'><i>Blunt</i>. One fitted for the <i>Country</i>, the
-other for the <i>Court</i>?</p>
-
-<p class='c014'><i>Broad</i>. Good Mr. Mayor, spare your
-Friends, at least till you find them tripping.</p>
-
-<p class='c014'><span class='pageno' id='Page_22'>22</span>Sir <i>John</i>. For my Part, the whole Stress
-of my Argument rests on a Supposition;
-that both Parties of the Administration will
-adhere to their native Principles and Way
-of thinking. On this Supposition then where
-can be the <i>Concord</i>, where the <i>Coalition</i>?</p>
-
-<p class='c014'><i>Over</i>. Just where the Union would be
-between Kites and Doves.</p>
-
-<p class='c014'><i>Blunt</i>. But, my Fox-hunter, leaving
-Concord and Union out of the Question,
-when has it been seen, that spotless innocent
-<i>Doves</i> have had the weak Complaisance
-of associating with the crafty and
-guilty <i>Kites</i>, on the first Offer of Friendship
-and Cordiality?</p>
-
-<p class='c014'><i>Broad</i>. Still, my worthy Magistrate, severe
-upon your old Friends?</p>
-
-<p class='c014'>Sir <i>John</i>. Mr. <i>Broadbottom</i>, call not that
-Severity, which is the Result of Friendship.
-I judge of Mr. <i>Blunt</i> by myself, who,
-because I esteem you, fear you may be imposed
-upon in the Step you have lately taken. You
-could not but see that the Court made to
-you, was the Effect rather of <i>Necessity</i> than
-<i>Choice</i>. You must not be the Man of Penetration
-I take you for, unless you saw
-that you would be an unwelcome Guest
-at C—t, and an unwelcome Companion
-to those who invited you thither. In
-such Circumstances, I should expect that
-you, and those whom you have selected among
-your Party to accompany you, wou’d
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_23'>23</span>insist upon such Terms for your Country,
-as would endear you to your Countrymen.</p>
-
-<p class='c014'><i>Broad</i>. But, Sir <i>John</i>, would it become
-us to insist on Terms, when none were
-exacted from us?</p>
-
-<p class='c014'>Sir <i>John</i>. It not only would become you
-to insist on such Terms as would be of public
-Utility, but it was absolutely necessary
-you shou’d, if you would maintain your
-Character and serve your Country. You
-<i>New Comers</i> are but a few, if compared to
-those you are ingrafted on. They may,
-and probably will out-argue, or rather out-vote
-you, whenever you shall presume to
-oppose their Measures; and should you
-persist in your Opposition, they will thrust
-you from the <i>Barn</i> for your Contumacy.
-Such will be the best of your Case.</p>
-
-<p class='c014'><i>Smooth</i>. Best do you call it? Pray, Sir
-<i>John</i>, what do you call the Worst of their
-Case?</p>
-
-<p class='c014'>Sir <i>John</i>. To quit their own Principles,
-and take up those of the old <i>Standards</i>.
-In that Case they might think to mend
-their own private Fortunes, but would most
-certainly ruin their Country, and of course
-would lose all Credit with their Countrymen.</p>
-
-<p class='c014'><i>Broad</i>. But is it impossible for Men of
-different Principles to meet each other half
-Way, and agree in such Essentials as may
-promote the general Good of the Community?</p>
-
-<p class='c014'><span class='pageno' id='Page_24'>24</span>Sir <i>John</i>. He who meets an Opponent
-half way, recedes from his own Principles,
-and embraces in part at least, those of
-his Antagonist. Now if your <i>Principles</i>
-were <i>sound</i>, and those of the <i>old Standards
-unsound</i>, as we must believe from your
-constant Opposition for the Time past;
-how can you depart from yours, without
-embracing <i>unsound</i> Principles? No, Sir, I
-protest against half-way Meetings between
-a Majority in <i>Power</i>, and a few, who, I’m
-afraid, grasp too eagerly at a Shred, or rather
-Shadow of that <i>Power</i>. The <i>Magnet</i>
-is with the greater Number; pray Heaven,
-it attracts not the smaller to it!</p>
-
-<p class='c014'><i>Broad</i>. Why so desponding, Sir <i>John</i>,
-you who were won’t to be the firmest Prop
-of our Party Hopes?</p>
-
-<p class='c014'>Sir <i>John</i>. To be very serious, Mr. <i>Broadbottom</i>,
-I apprehend we are in a wretched
-Situation; and I see but one Means, by
-which we may hope to better our Condition.
-But I foresee that we sha’n’t have
-the Wisdom or Virtue to pursue that only
-Way. Notwithstanding the Groupe of Ills
-we labour under; notwithstanding our
-Necks are sore gall’d with the Yoke, I fear,
-should the Time of procuring ourselves Ease
-ever offer, Corruption will prevail, and
-<i>Avarice</i> will chuse the Continuance of our
-Woe. If we would expect such a thorough
-Change of Measures as the Nation seem to
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_25'>25</span>wish for and require, can we hope for it from
-the present Patch-work mingling of Hands?</p>
-
-<p class='c014'>The taking Gentlemen into the Administration,
-who have distinguished themselves
-by their Zeal for the Interests of their
-Country, is not, I fear, designed to ease
-the People, but to bring those Gentlemen
-to bear a Share of the public Hatred and
-Infamy, which the late M—rs have
-incurr’d by the most flagitious Measures.
-This must cause an irreparable Breach between
-the Public and those now rever’d and
-beloved Patriots; a Policy by which the
-Projectors think, perhaps, they leave the
-Flocks without Shepherds, and may at
-Pleasure then prey upon the Folds. But
-let me warn these Politicians, that it is not
-always safe to leave an injur’d, oppress’d,
-exasperated People without Leaders on
-whose Probity they may depend. On the
-other hand, let me warn our Patriots, that
-as a Snare may have been laid for them, it
-is their Business to take care they are not
-taken in it. They have been the Hopes as
-well as Darlings of their Country, and it
-should be their Study at this critical Juncture
-not to give Room for suspecting their Virtue.
-In short, they should avoid becoming
-themselves the Curse of their Country, or
-countenancing those that have been so for
-many Years.</p>
-
-<p class='c014'>The War for the Sake of <i>H——</i>, has been
-carried on after a Manner so dishonourable,
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_26'>26</span>not to say infamous, and so expensive, that
-the old <i>Standards</i>, for a Reason easily
-pointed out, look upon a <i>Peace</i> to be absolutely
-necessary. The Conduct of the
-War will not suffer them to hope that equitable
-Terms will be allow’d them; on
-the other hand, they must be sensible, that
-the People have a greater Regard to the
-Honour of the Nation than to private Interest,
-and will be against sheathing the
-Sword, till the Blood of our foreign Enemies
-has wash’d off the Stain fix’d on the
-Glory of the Nation by her domestic Foes.
-In this Dilemma they may think it the best,
-indeed the only Expedient to cast the Burden
-on the <i>Favourites</i> of the People. If
-they accept of Peace on dishonourable
-Terms, the late M—rs are acquitted; if
-they reject it, any Misfortunes that may attend
-the War will be intirely cast upon
-them. In a Word, the Ministers have entangled
-the Skein, and call upon the Patriots
-to disentangle it, or share the Odium
-of their Folly and Wickedness. They have
-woven the <i>Gordian Knot</i>, and the Friends
-of the People are to loose it.</p>
-
-<p class='c014'><i>Over</i>. We shall soon see who are the
-Peoples Friends.</p>
-
-<p class='c014'><i>Broad</i>. Can you have any Doubt concerning
-them?</p>
-
-<p class='c014'><i>Blunt</i>. Were not those <i>Deserters</i> lately
-thrust from the <i>Barn</i>, the Peoples Friends
-too before they were <i>ingrafted</i> on the Ministry?
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_27'>27</span>All are the Peoples Friends while
-they are rising on the Shoulders of the People;
-but when once they are up, away
-goes the Scaffolding. Mr. <i>Broadbottom</i>, I
-believe you are a Friend to the People, or
-I would not support your last Election, or
-your present Re-election; but if you would
-convince us you are truly so, let us see
-you heartily endeavouring to obtain something
-for those willing People that have
-drain’d their Vitals to comply with a C—t
-and Ministry, and bore the Heat of the
-Day. Restore us our <i>Triennial</i> Parliaments.</p>
-
-<p class='c014'>Sir <i>John</i>. Or rather our Annual Parliaments,
-which was the ancient Constitution.
-But, Mr. <i>Broadbottom</i>, let us have them
-without <i>Purchase</i>. I understand the C—l
-L—st is greatly incumber’d. I hope ’tis not
-intended to clear it at the People’s Expence,
-before the annual Produce of it be fairly
-stated and known.</p>
-
-<p class='c014'><i>Blunt</i>. Can you expect to know any thing
-the Court has a mind you should not, while
-<i>Seven’s</i> the Main?</p>
-
-<p class='c014'><i>Over</i>. No more <i>Septs</i> say I; I believe I
-shall never love the Number <i>Seven</i> again,
-as long as live.</p>
-
-<p class='c014'>Sir <i>John</i>. <i>Seven</i> or <i>Seventy</i> would be of
-little Significancy in a Country and Age less
-corrupt than ours. But considering the
-present Depravity, I must confess that <i>septennial</i>
-Parliaments afford Ministers more
-Opportunity than I would willingly allow
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_28'>28</span>them, to put in Practice the Arts of the
-Cabinet.</p>
-
-<p class='c014'><i>Rose</i>. If the Depravity be so great and
-general as you represent it, how shall our
-Condition be better’d by a Repeal of the
-<i>septennial</i> Law? The Cabinet Arts, which
-you so much apprehend, may be as well
-practised on the <i>triennial</i> as <i>septennial</i> Servants
-of the People.</p>
-
-<p class='c014'><i>Over</i>. To prevent which, let us do as
-our braver, honester <i>Popish</i> Ancestors did.</p>
-
-<p class='c014'><i>Rose</i>. Ah! Mr. <i>Overall</i>! Your worthy
-Father would not have been so liberal of
-his Epithets to Papists.</p>
-
-<p class='c014'><i>Over</i>. Mr. <i>Roseband</i>, my Father loved
-and rever’d Virtue wherever he found it.
-And he blush’d not any more than I should,
-to own that our Popish Ancestors had the
-true Spirit of Patriotism, and that they left
-us more valuable Blessings than we are like
-to leave Posterity.</p>
-
-<p class='c014'><i>Smooth</i>. How, my Politician! Sha’n’t
-we and Posterity too bask in Plenty, if we
-do as you say our honester popish Ancestors
-did? ha, ha!</p>
-
-<p class='c014'><i>Rose</i>. Pray, Mr. <i>Overall</i>, What are we to
-do in imitation of our braver Ancestors?
-ha, ha!</p>
-
-<p class='c014'><i>Over</i>. To <i>curse</i> the Ambitious and Corrupt.</p>
-
-<p class='c014'><i>Rose</i>. Curse, Mr. <i>Overall</i>! Is it for
-Christians to curse?</p>
-
-<p class='c014'><i>Over</i>. Is it for <i>Englishmen</i> to be bribed
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_29'>29</span>out of their Virtue? What are the Curses
-you pronounce on <i>Ashwednesdays</i>?</p>
-
-<p class='c014'>Sir <i>John</i>. Mr. <i>Overall</i> means, I suppose,
-the Anathema solemnly denounced in
-the Reign of <i>Henry</i> III. by the Archbishop
-of <i>Canterbury</i>, at the Head of the Barons
-and other great Men of the Nation, against
-all such as should directly or indirectly oppose
-the Observance of the <i>two Charters</i>,
-and those who should violate, diminish, or
-alter in any Manner whatever the Laws and
-Constitutions of the Kingdom.</p>
-
-<p class='c014'><i>Over</i>. I do, Sir <i>John</i>; and the Method
-I would propose should be, that the Members
-of the Legislature, not excepting the
-pious Lords the B—ps, on the Expiration
-of the present Parliament, would meet in
-<i>Westminster</i> Abbey, and there solemnly denounce,
-by the Mouth of the Archbishop,
-or, if some squeamish Puritans should object
-to the Surplice, by the Mouths of the
-Lord C—r and Sp—r, the bitterest
-Curses against all who shall offer or accept a
-Bribe at a new Election, directly or indirectly.</p>
-
-<p class='c014'><i>Blunt</i>. Or who shall accept of a Place
-or Pension after he is elected, in order to
-support the Measures of Evil Ministers, or
-screen them.</p>
-
-<p class='c014'><i>Over</i>. <i>Blunt</i>, let you and I draw up a
-Form of the Anathema. I would ask the
-Vicar, but that he says ’tis Antichristian, to
-curse the Wicked. First then, <i>Cursed</i> be
-he who offers any Bribe or Gratification to
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_30'>30</span>any Freeholder or Burgher to obtain his
-Vote: <i>Cursed</i> be he who is an Instrument
-to corrupt any who has a Right to give his
-Vote for any Candidate to represent his
-County or Borough: <i>Cursed</i> be he, who having
-a Right to vote, shall be biass’d in his Voting
-by any private Interest, Views, or Hopes:
-<i>Cursed</i> be he who makes any unjust Returns
-of Members; and may such Enemies of their
-Country be <i>cursed</i> in themselves, their Wives
-and Posterity, and in their Goods and Chattels;
-may they themselves become the Butt
-of public Scorn, Hatred and Contempt,
-whilst living, and their Widows and Daughters
-become common Prostitutes for Bread;
-and may their Sons experience that <i>Slavery</i>,
-which they would have brought upon their
-Country; may their Herds and Flocks die
-with the Murrain and Rot; may their
-Lands become barren, and may their Memory
-for ever stink in the Nostrils of all
-honest Men and true <i>Britons</i>. Let all
-here say, <i>Amen</i>.</p>
-
-<p class='c014'><i>Broad</i>. See what it is to be a Foxhunter;
-no other’s Lungs would have held out in
-so long a Chase of useful Curses; ha, ha!</p>
-
-<p class='c014'>Sir <i>John</i>. Why indeed, Mr. <i>Broadbottom</i>,
-if Curses would cure the great Evil of <i>Corruption</i>,
-they might be truly called <i>useful</i>.
-But I am afraid the World is become too
-cursed to be frighten’d by Curses from the
-Commission of Evil. Therefore I would
-have them restrain’d by some more coercive
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_31'>31</span>Means. And as the Repeal of the <i>Septennial</i>
-Act, and effectual <i>Place</i> and <i>Pensions</i>
-Bills, seem to bid fairest of any Means I
-can think of, for removing the Gangreen
-which preys upon the Vitals of our Constitution;
-I should be glad to see the P——
-this very Session take them seriously into
-Consideration. I hope they will, for the
-good of Posterity and their own Honour.
-And let me add, Mr. <i>Broadbottom</i>, that I
-hope it for yours, and your new <i>Ingrafted</i>
-Brethren’s Sake, who must rise or sink with
-the Publick, as these Points are dropt or
-vigorously pushed and obtain’d. What is
-it to the People who is <i>in</i> or <i>out</i> of Place,
-if they receive no Benefit by the Change?
-On the Contrary, a pretended Coalition
-leaves them in a worse Condition than they
-were before, as it deprives them of their
-present Leaders, and a colourable Pretence
-for Complaint. For won’t Courtiers be apt
-to call that a wanton Complaint, which has
-not the Sanction of the old Chiefs of the
-People?</p>
-
-<p class='c014'><i>Broad</i>. Sir <i>John</i>, as all who hear you, improve
-by your Conversation; all who converse
-with you, ought to pay a Deference
-to your Opinions, which are generally well
-founded. But tho’ I should admit that the
-Points you contend for, would be of public
-Utility; yet I believe you will admit likewise,
-that there may be Seasons wherein it
-would not be proper to press these Matters
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_32'>32</span>with too great Warmth. It would be ill-timing
-the Embellishment or Repair of
-a House, when the Chimney was on Fire.
-The World at Home and Abroad is unsettled
-and perplexed. We have Quarrels and
-Parties——</p>
-
-<p class='c014'>Sir <i>John</i>. We have so, and Taxes, Poverty,
-and Corruption. And we have likewise
-open, and who are more dangerous,
-secret Enemies; at least, we have lukewarm
-Friends.——This is no more than what
-I dreaded, when I first heard how few of
-the reputed Friends of the People were invited
-to C—t. When I saw all the great
-Offices of Trust continued in the old <i>Standards</i>,
-I dreaded the Consequence of taking
-a few of the Leaders of the People into
-the subordinate Posts.——Mr. <i>Broadbottom</i>,
-I am sorry to tell you, that I dreaded you
-would have learnt the Court <i>Catechise</i>, when
-I heard you accepted of a Place before obtaining
-such Points as the People contend
-for, and are of absolute Necessity. Why
-should it be unseasonable to restore us to
-<i>triennial</i> Parliaments, and to secure Liberty
-by effectual Place and Pension Bills?
-What Ferment or Combustion is here at
-Home, that should prevent or deter the
-Friends of our Constitution from seeking its
-immediate Repair, where it has been weakened
-by either Time or Art? What have
-the Broils of <i>Germany</i> to do with the <i>British</i>
-Constitution?</p>
-
-<p class='c014'><span class='pageno' id='Page_33'>33</span>The World, you say, is unsettled and
-perplexed abroad, and we have Quarrels
-and Parties at Home. Granted; and who
-are accountable for the Perplexities on the
-Continent and the Parties here at Home?
-Not the People, Mr. <i>Broadbottom</i>, whose
-Contentment you would postpone to a more
-seasonable Opportunity. I should be glad
-to know the ministerial <i>Seasons</i> for doing
-public Justice. We have had a long Interval
-of Peace since the passing the <i>Septennial</i>
-Law, yet our Ministers never
-thought it <i>seasonable</i> to suffer it to be
-repealed. The Ministers, Sir, I mean the
-<i>B——h</i> Ministers, and not the <i>B——h</i>
-Nation, have been principally and primarily
-Authors of the Broils on the Continent;
-and our Fewds at Home are no less
-owing to them.</p>
-
-<p class='c014'><i>Smooth</i>. How, Sir <i>John</i>, will you place
-the Ambition of <i>France</i>, the Perfidy of
-<i>P——a</i>, and the Inaction of <i>Holland</i>, to
-the Account of our Ministers?</p>
-
-<p class='c014'>Sir <i>John</i>. I will, and with the strictest
-Justice.——<i>France</i> had not dared to attempt
-gratifying her Ambition, nor <i>P——</i>
-to support <i>France</i>, or <i>Holland</i> to look on,
-if a Foreign Interest did not biass <i>B——h</i>
-Ministers from the true Interest of their
-Country. To sum up all in one Word,
-<i>H——</i> is accountable for all the Perplexities
-on the Continent, and all our Fewds at
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_34'>34</span>Home.——But what Fewds or Quarrels can
-be apprehended after so hopeful a <i>Coalition</i>
-as the present? When shall <i>Britons</i> expect
-Relief, unless when the <i>best Men of
-all Parties</i>, according to one of our Patriot
-Writers, have the Power and Direction
-of public Affairs?</p>
-
-<p class='c014'><i>Broad</i>. We are only accountable for our
-own Conduct; and as we are but a few—</p>
-
-<p class='c014'>Sir <i>John</i>. I dread you may be biassed
-by the Majority. Why should you agree
-to come into the Support of a tottering
-M——y before you had secured such a Share
-of Power as would enable you to change
-Measures obnoxious and injurious to the
-People? Why would you come in without
-securing a Moiety at least, of the great
-Offices of Trust, such as first C—— of
-the T——y, S——y of S——, and P——t
-of the C——t, <i>&amp;c. &amp;c</i>.</p>
-
-<p class='c014'><i>Over</i>. Faith now, Sir <i>John</i>, that would
-be keeping Gentlemen to d—d hard Meat.
-What, not allow Men to stoop at small
-Game, that have been beating about for
-many Years in vain? Pshaw! Gad! ’tis
-quite ungenteel and unconscionable.</p>
-
-<p class='c014'>Sir <i>John</i>. My Quarrel is not to the
-Gentlemen’s Humility, but to their Want
-of Prudence. Mr. <i>Broadbottom</i>, I hope, will
-pardon the Expression.</p>
-
-<p class='c014'><span class='pageno' id='Page_35'>35</span><i>Broad</i>. With all my Heart. Sir <i>John
-Probeum</i> can say nothing, because I am sure
-he means not, to offend me.</p>
-
-<p class='c014'>Sir <i>John</i>. Sir, you do me but Justice; I
-intend an Affront to no Man, much less to
-you, whom I have always esteemed.</p>
-
-<p class='c014'><i>Broad</i>. And of whom you shall have
-no Cause to alter your good Opinion.</p>
-
-<p class='c014'>Sir <i>John</i>. I hope not, tho’ I cannot so
-readily digest your <i>Seasons</i> for redressing the
-People’s Grievances.</p>
-
-<p class='c014'><i>Blunt</i>. <i>Times</i> and <i>Seasons</i> were Cant
-Words with the late <i>Deserters</i>, as soon as
-the People expected they would act according
-to their Professions.</p>
-
-<p class='c014'><i>Over</i>. Ha, ha! Courtiers act up to their
-Professions! Ha, ha! What a Solecism wou’d
-that be? Why Man, you forget that <i>Double</i>
-and <i>John</i>, and <i>Long Bib</i>, and <i>Dismal</i>, and
-the Rest of that precious deserting Gang
-were become <i>Courtiers</i>, when they found
-out that it was unseasonable to weaken the
-Ministerial Power, and strengthen that of
-the People.</p>
-
-<p class='c014'>Sir <i>John</i>. Experience, they say, is the
-Mother of Wisdom; but I am sorry we <i>Englishmen</i>
-are seldom instructed by that sagacious
-Lady. I have lived to see the
-People deluded and injured by those whom
-they themselves had screw’d up into Power;
-and I have seen them receiving those very
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_36'>36</span><i>Deluders</i> a second and third Time into
-their Favour.</p>
-
-<p class='c014'><i>Rose</i>. A Proof of their Lenity and Good-nature,
-Sir <i>John</i>.</p>
-
-<p class='c014'>Sir <i>John</i>. Of their Stupidity rather. I
-am bound to forgive an Enemy, but know
-of no Injunction human or divine, that enjoins
-me to trust that Enemy a second
-Time, and put the Snake in my Bosom.</p>
-
-<p class='c014'><i>Broad</i>. Sir <i>John</i>, you shall never have
-Cause for making the Application here. If
-I can’t serve with Honour, I am a free
-Agent, and shall make use of the Freedom
-I was born to. I will fling up my P——
-the Moment I find I can’t keep it consistent
-with my Duty to my Country.</p>
-
-<p class='c014'><i>Over</i>. There spoke the Genius of old
-<i>England</i>.</p>
-
-<p class='c014'><i>Blunt</i>. Like that <i>noble</i> Patriot, who flung
-up not long since, that he might not share
-in the Guilt and Odium of the Company
-he kept.</p>
-
-<p class='c014'><i>Broad</i>. And that noble Patriot is heartily
-with us in the present Change. I hope
-you will think that his Presence should be
-enough to keep us all in Countenance.</p>
-
-<p class='c014'>Sir <i>John</i>. There is not a Man alive has
-a better Opinion of that great Man than
-myself; but shou’d he tell me of <i>Times</i> and
-<i>Seasons</i> for redressing Grievances, I should
-alter my Opinion of him, and think him
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_37'>37</span>infected by the Air of the C—t. But
-that Patriot <i>Englishman</i> is uncapable of so
-great Baseness and Folly. He knows that
-War Time is the properest for enquiring into
-the Misconduct of the War; and I hope
-for that Reason, he and all his Friends will
-encourage an Inquiry into the Miscarriage at
-<i>Carthagena</i>, and into the more dishonourable
-Misconduct last Year at the <i>Hieres</i>. I
-hope likewise he and you will promote a
-strict Inspection into the Management of
-our Land War.</p>
-
-<p class='c014'><i>Blunt</i>. You mean the <i>H—n</i> War. I
-am sure we are no otherwise concerned in
-it, than to have the Honour of defraying its
-Expence.</p>
-
-<p class='c014'>Sir <i>John</i>. Be our Concern what it will,
-it ought to have been managed with some
-Decency, if not with Vigour and Prudence.
-But ever since the Commencement, it has
-been carried on ingloriously for the Nation,
-and scandalously for those who had the Conduct
-of it. And should such wrong-headed
-or corrupt Agents go unpunish’d or unexamin’d
-at least, it will be setting such an
-Example of national <i>Lenity</i>, as may prove
-fatal in the Day of Necessity.</p>
-
-<p class='c014'><i>Blunt</i>. National <i>Lenity</i>! Ah, Sir <i>John</i>,
-you were wont to call Things by their right
-Names—— What shall we call the <i>Lenity</i>
-shewn to the late Arch-delinquent?</p>
-
-<p class='c014'><span class='pageno' id='Page_38'>38</span><i>Over</i>. The Duce! what would the Man
-have; was not there a S—t C—ee
-appointed?</p>
-
-<p class='c014'>Sir <i>John</i>. Yes; and the very little which
-that C—ee was pleas’d to publish concerning
-that Arch-spoiler of his Country,
-proves that they ought to have proceeded
-further.</p>
-
-<p class='c014'><i>Over</i>. Dear <i>Broadbottom</i>, let us have no
-C—ees at all, unless you have the <i>Will</i>
-and <i>Power</i> to sift Things to the Bottom:
-For it is but tantalizing a Nation to pretend
-doing them Justice, and never intend any.</p>
-
-<p class='c014'><i>Blunt</i>. ’tis encouraging public Venality
-and Corruption. But C—ees are pretty
-<i>Tubs</i>, too often thrown out to amuse the
-People.</p>
-
-<p class='c014'>Sir <i>John</i>. What Pity ’tis to abuse the
-Credulity of the best natur’d People in the
-World!</p>
-
-<p class='c014'><i>Over</i>. Sir <i>John</i>, you may praise their
-good Nature as much as you please; but,
-Gad! I say they are the veriest Oafs in
-Christendom. Z—ds! that a People should
-be so d—n’d stupid as to delegate their
-Power again and again; nay, a Power too
-over their Lives and Fortunes, to Men who
-had done them repeated Injuries, and of
-whom they had made repeated Complaints.
-They complain’d of the <i>Septennial</i> as a
-grievous Imposition; yet the very next Opportunity
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_39'>39</span>chose those very Men that had so
-grossly imposed upon them.</p>
-
-<p class='c014'><i>Blunt</i>. Was it not the same in regard to
-the <i>Excise-Scheme</i> and the <i>Convention</i>?</p>
-
-<p class='c014'><i>Over</i>. The <i>H—r</i> Troops, and the <i>&amp;c. &amp;c</i>.
-to the End of a Chapter as long as the
-Book of Homilies.</p>
-
-<p class='c014'><i>Broad</i>. But, Gentlemen, don’t you forget
-to season your Account of the People’s
-<i>Folly</i> with a certain native Spice called
-<i>Knavery</i>, or in other Words, <i>Self-interest</i>,
-which, according to Sir <i>John</i>, is the primary
-fundamental Ingredient in the Composition
-of most Men? Did not these injur’d
-complaining People bring their Suffrages
-to Market overt, where the best Bidder
-was sure to have them?</p>
-
-<p class='c014'>Sir <i>John</i>. The Fact, I am afraid, is but
-too true: And at the same Time that it
-proves the Corruption of the People, it
-proves likewise the Necessity of an immediate
-Remedy. Had those scandalous Marts
-for the Sale of <i>B—sh</i> Liberty been more
-common; had they been <i>annual</i>, or even
-<i>triennial</i>, the M—rs would not find their
-Account in the frequent Expence; nay,
-they could not support it.</p>
-
-<p class='c014'><i>Blunt</i>. Yet necessary as the immediate
-Application of this Specific is, you shall see it
-postponed to more pacific <i>Times</i>, and gentler
-<i>Seasons</i>.</p>
-
-<p class='c014'><span class='pageno' id='Page_40'>40</span><i>Smooth</i>. Mr. <i>Blunt</i>, tho’ you speak thus
-in Derision, yet if you reflect with Seriousness,
-the Delay of a Remedy so extraordinary
-as the Repeal of the <i>Septennial</i> is, till
-after the War, will not seem so unmeet to
-you as it appears at present.</p>
-
-<p class='c014'><i>Blunt</i>. Dost think the <i>Repeal</i> would abate
-the Courage of our Soldiers and Seamen,
-and raise that of the Enemy? Dost
-think it would pall the Appetites of those
-greedy <i>Germans</i>, that now and long have
-done us the Honour to receive <i>Subsidies</i>
-from us? Wou’d the Queen of <i>Hungary</i>
-and King of <i>Sardinia</i> receive <i>English</i>
-Money the less freely; or defend their own
-Territories the less carefully, if <i>general Content</i>
-should be spread throughout this Island,
-powerful as much or more by the Union of
-its Inhabitants, as by their Bravery and
-Wealth? Would our good Allies the <i>Dutch</i>
-be deafer to our Intreaties, or slower in their
-Motions than they have been of late, should
-they see the very <i>Fountain</i> of our Corruption
-and Venality dry’d up by a Legislative
-Spunge?</p>
-
-<p class='c014'><i>Over</i>. Would our A—ls and G—ls
-have less Sense, Experience, Courage and
-Honesty, if they were to go to <i>Market</i>
-with their <i>Bank-bills</i>, but every <i>Third
-Year</i>?</p>
-
-<p class='c014'><i>Smooth</i>. You forget that your favourite
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_41'>41</span>A—l was lately courted at many <i>Markets</i>
-without the Aid of Bank-bills.</p>
-
-<p class='c014'><i>Over</i>. No, Sir; I don’t forget that his
-Merit had endeared him to the People, and
-render’d him hateful to—— Mi-Mi—Mi—Ministers.—’Sflesh!
-I thought I could never
-keep down another <i>Word</i> which would
-force itself in the room of Ministers.—— But
-enough of that. No, Mr. <i>Smoothwell</i>, I
-forget not that that gallant, honest Man has
-not been thought of in the present Change,
-tho’ his Valour, Experience, Probity, and
-good Sense, can’t be called in question.</p>
-
-<p class='c014'>Sir <i>John</i>. Truly I wonder’d when I saw
-not his Name among the List of C—rs of
-a certain Board.</p>
-
-<p class='c014'><i>Broad</i>. There are certain <i>Prejudices</i>,
-which, in Prudence, we were obliged to
-overlook when we could not surmount
-them.</p>
-
-<p class='c014'>Sir <i>John</i>. I don’t at all question but
-there was a <i>Prejudice</i> to you <i>all</i>; but
-when you were able to conquer that which
-was always supposed to be conceived against
-you personally, Mr. <i>Broadbottom</i>, I should
-not wonder you could surmount all Prejudice
-whatever.</p>
-
-<p class='c014'><i>Over</i>. Pr’ythee, <i>Bottom</i>, how came it
-practicable to ram one of your <i>uncommon
-Size</i>, down the narrow squeamish Throat
-of ——? again, another <i>Word</i> would intrude
-on the Word Ministers.</p>
-
-<p class='c014'><span class='pageno' id='Page_42'>42</span><i>Blunt</i>. I’ll tell thee; to take away from
-us all our Props; to strip us of our Leaders;
-in short, to leave no Speaker or Man
-of known Merit behind—</p>
-
-<p class='c014'>Sir <i>John</i>. I fear that was Part of the
-Plan; and if so, we are undone, unless we
-are saved by the Virtue and Steadiness of
-those whom the People have confided in all
-along, and rais’d at last.</p>
-
-<p class='c014'><i>Broad</i>. You need not fear them.</p>
-
-<p class='c014'>Sir <i>John</i>. I would not willingly suspect
-Men, who owe more to their Constituents,
-than those they have all along opposed. On
-a Supposition that these had purchas’d, no
-matter how infamously, they assum’d a
-Sort of Right to reimburse themselves at
-the Expence of the Venders. But you <i>Patriots</i>
-have no such colourable Claim for
-disserving those who spontaneously chose
-you their Attornies with no private Views
-in the World, or any Views but such as tend
-to the Good of the Community in general.</p>
-
-<p class='c014'><i>Over</i>. Gad, my dear <i>Broady</i>, you ought
-to be doubly cursed, nay doubly d—n’d,
-should you not earnestly and truly serve
-those that had gratuitously vested you with
-ample Power over their Persons, Lands,
-Goods, Chattels, Wives and Bairns.</p>
-
-<p class='c014'><i>Rose</i>. And Hounds and Hunters; ha,
-ha!</p>
-
-<p class='c014'><span class='pageno' id='Page_43'>43</span><i>Blunt</i>. And Tythes and Dues, my laughing
-Vicar—Is the <i>Liberty</i> of a free People a
-fit Subject for Laughter? Is not our All at
-Stake at this critical Juncture? Should
-those who have been always our reputed
-Friends, <i>join</i> with those who were always
-deem’d our Enemies, what shall become of
-us? What shall we do?</p>
-
-<p class='c014'><i>Over</i>. I’ll tell you; <i>unite</i>, and join against
-both.</p>
-
-<p class='c014'>Sir <i>John</i>. I should not wonder if a general
-<i>Union</i> against all secret and open Enemies
-would be the Consequence of any
-signal Misconduct or Defection in those lately
-<i>ingrafted</i>. For after such repeated Experience
-as the People have had of the
-Power of C—— <i>Infection</i>, it may be expected
-they would go greater Lengths than
-might be agreeable to the Authors of their
-Despair. ’tis dangerous to push a sensible
-People too far.</p>
-
-<p class='c014'><i>Over</i>. Pshaw! brag not too much of
-your Sensibility, I beseech you, after such
-Provocations as you have had since the <i>Septennial</i>
-Y——e has been upon your Necks.
-Gad! they are as tame as my <i>Chesnut</i> after
-a Morning’s Chase.</p>
-
-<p class='c014'>Sir <i>John</i>. They are observant of the Laws,
-and I hope they will always continue so.</p>
-
-<p class='c014'><i>Over</i>. ’Sbud! you wou’dn’t have us
-keep Measures with <i>Renegadoes</i> and <i>Promise-breakers</i>?</p>
-
-<p class='c014'><span class='pageno' id='Page_44'>44</span>Sir <i>John</i>. No; but I am for no Measure
-that exceeds legal Bounds.</p>
-
-<p class='c014'><i>Over</i>. Z—ds Man! you don’t think I
-would advise the knocking such <i>Recreants</i>
-in the Head without Judge or Jury, tho’
-they would merit the worst of Deaths. No;
-I would not touch a Hair of their Heads;
-but d—n me if ever that Man should
-have my Friendship or Vote again, who
-should once break public <i>Faith</i> with me.</p>
-
-<p class='c014'><i>Blunt</i>. Right, my worthy ’Squire—— Oh!
-how solemnly have we been promis’d a Redress
-of all our Grievances as soon as our
-<i>Idols</i> should come into the Administration!</p>
-
-<p class='c014'><i>Rose</i>. <i>Idols</i>! Mr. Mayor.——</p>
-
-<p class='c014'><i>Blunt</i>. Ay, Doctor; such, and worse, if
-possible, are all those useless insignificant
-Men, that fawn, flatter and promise, to arrive
-at the Summit of their Ambition, and
-forget all they had promised as soon as their
-Turn is served.—Idols! Mr. <i>Roseband</i>; yes,
-Sir, I would call our Patriots so to their
-Faces, and even Mr. <i>Broadbottom</i> himself,
-whom I always lov’d and serv’d, should the
-Redress of our Grievances be postpon’d.
-Tame and gull’d as we awkward Country
-Putts have been; stupid as we are thought
-to be, we can feel, and even see when we
-are play’d off. Let the Legerdemain be
-never so dextrous, believe me, we can see
-through it.</p>
-
-<p class='c014'><span class='pageno' id='Page_45'>45</span><i>Over</i>. We don’t forget how Sir <i>Bob</i> used
-to fly thro’ the Hoops, when he was press’d
-hard. He wou’d shift the Pack off his
-own, to cast it on <i>nobler</i> Shoulders.——The
-Cheat is stale, it won’t pass now.</p>
-
-<p class='c014'><i>Blunt</i>. It won’t indeed. We know very
-well what it means to have a Thing go
-thro’ glibly below, when it is settled before
-hand, that it shall be stifled in its Flight.
-Mr. <i>Broadbottom</i>, you know my Meaning;
-and you know too what you have often
-promised, if ever you should come into
-Play, that you would promote the use of
-<i>Tacking</i>, when nothing else would do.</p>
-
-<p class='c014'><i>Smooth</i>. I am sorry that the Head of a
-considerable Corporation, should give so
-great Room for suspecting his Loyalty, as
-to wish for the postponing the <i>Supplies</i> in
-time of War.</p>
-
-<p class='c014'><i>Blunt</i>. I am more sorry to see a Principal
-of any Corporation, a Sycophant, and
-Time-server. Mr. <i>Smoothwell</i>, you may or
-may not excuse my plain Dealing, as you
-please. Pray Sir, why might not the <i>Redress</i>
-go Hand in Hand with the <i>Supply</i>? Is
-a Million the less a Million for being wrapt
-up in the same Paper or Parchment with a
-<i>Triennial</i>, or effectual Place and <i>Pension</i>
-Bills? Might not Votes of <i>Credit</i> and Votes
-of <i>Inquiry</i> be very naturally blended together?
-Would it swell the public Debts, if
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_46'>46</span>a secret and special C——ee were appointed
-to inspect the <i>Debts</i> of the Nation?</p>
-
-<p class='c014'>Sir <i>John</i>. And the <i>State</i> of the Nation
-too, Mr. Mayor. I have always lamented
-the Want of such a C——ee. It could
-not fail, if well chosen, to answer every
-good End proposed by a National Enquiry.</p>
-
-<p class='c014'><i>Over</i>. Brave, upright old Man! have you
-not seen <i>Pharsalia</i>? What have we got by
-the late E——y into dextrous <i>Bob</i>’s Conduct?</p>
-
-<p class='c014'><i>Blunt</i>. A <i>Proof</i> that he ought to be shorten’d
-by the——</p>
-
-<p class='c014'><i>Over</i>. And pray, how would you have
-those <i>worthy Men</i> serv’d, who condescended
-to let us have a Sight of that precious
-<i>Half-proof</i>, and not an Inch farther?</p>
-
-<p class='c014'><i>Blunt</i>. As they deserved——</p>
-
-<p class='c014'><i>Over</i>. Mum for that——Gad! <i>Blunt</i>, I
-thought you too sincere for Caution and Circumspection.</p>
-
-<p class='c014'><i>Rose</i>. As much as to say, you thought his
-Worship no wiser than he shou’d be. Ha,
-ha!</p>
-
-<p class='c014'><i>Over</i>. As much as I should think a Time-server
-to be an honest Man.</p>
-
-<p class='c014'><i>Blunt</i>. Heed him not, Mr. <i>Overall</i>, he
-would set you and I together by the Ears,
-but he shan’t have his Ends. (<i>Looking on his
-Watch</i>.) Bless us! how insensibly Time
-passes in good Company.—Mr. <i>Broadbottom</i>,
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_47'>47</span>at what Hour shall we meet in the
-Town-Hall? the sooner the better, for fear
-of Accidents.</p>
-
-<p class='c014'><i>Broad</i>. Of Opposition, you mean——I
-have heard of no new Candidate.</p>
-
-<p class='c014'><i>Blunt</i>. I hope there will be no Candidate
-but yourself; and tho’ I believe you’ll
-meet with no Opposition, expect not to be
-re-elected without Bustle and Murmur.
-The Freemen are not quite pleased with your
-late Conduct. They think you, and some
-others, have been too hasty and partial in
-your Distribution of Places——</p>
-
-<p class='c014'><i>Broad</i>. They quite mistake the Thing,
-the <i>Distribution</i> was not of our making.</p>
-
-<p class='c014'>Sir <i>John</i>. I am sorry to hear of so shameful
-an Error. Were you sensible of the
-<i>Necessity</i> some Men were driven to; and of
-your own <i>Usefulness</i>, and yet have no Share
-in the Settlement of the main Article of
-the Coalition? I wish you may not live to
-repent you of your Indolence or Timidity.</p>
-
-<p class='c014'><i>Broad</i>. Timidity! Sir <i>John</i>.</p>
-
-<p class='c014'>Sir <i>John</i>. Yes, in Truth. I am not
-afraid to tell you, that you betrayed either
-too much <i>Timidity</i>, or too strong an Appetite
-for Employments, when you could
-make no better a Bargain for your Party, or
-obtain no absolute positive Assurances that
-the <i>Redress</i> should go Hand in Hand with
-the <i>Supply</i>. Are we to bleed for ever?
-Are we never to taste of Cordials?</p>
-
-<p class='c014'><span class='pageno' id='Page_48'>48</span><i>Over</i>. Our Doctors think that <i>Bitters</i>
-sit best on our English Stomachs.</p>
-
-<p class='c014'>Sir <i>John</i>. <i>Bitters</i> are of a hot Nature;
-the <i>Prescribers</i> should take Care, that a
-too constant use of them may not <i>inflame</i>
-the Blood too much.</p>
-
-<p class='c014'><i>Over</i>. They have provided beforehand a
-Remedy against such an Evil.——A good
-many Thousands in <i>Red</i>, will cure an Inflammation
-presently.</p>
-
-<p class='c014'>Sir <i>John</i>. They may, by Amputation, if
-in some of the <i>Limbs</i> only; but should
-ever Poverty, Oppression, or Despair, force
-the Inflammation into the <i>Body</i> and Bowels,
-I doubt the Surgeons in <i>Red</i> would not find
-the Cure so very easy. But I hope our
-Friends, few as they are, will find some
-Means of perswading their fellow Practicers
-to drop their <i>Bitters</i>, and put their Patients
-on a Course of <i>Alteratives</i>.</p>
-
-<p class='c014'><i>Smooth</i>. Sir <i>John</i>, we all wish for Cordials
-and Restoratives; we own they are wanting;
-but I am afraid a Time of War and
-Confusion is not the proper Season for administering
-them.</p>
-
-<p class='c014'>Sir <i>John</i>. I am much more afraid, Mr.
-<i>Smoothwell</i>, that you have learnt a Language
-newly imported from <i>Court</i>. <i>Confusion</i>, if
-you mean here at Home, there is none;
-and as for the <i>War</i>, I don’t think it wou’d
-or cou’d go on more ingloriously and scandalously
-than it has since the Commencement
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_49'>49</span>of it, should our State Physicians alter
-their Practice.</p>
-
-<p class='c014'><i>Blunt</i>. Scandalously as it has been conducted,
-it has cost us more than the most
-successful and best managed War.</p>
-
-<p class='c014'><i>Over</i>. Our last <i>Foraging</i> Campaign stood
-us dearer than that of <i>Blenheim</i>; and shou’d
-we have one or two more such parading
-Summers, to pot goes the <i>Sinking Fund</i>.</p>
-
-<p class='c014'>Sir <i>John</i>. I shudder at the Thoughts of
-<i>re-mortgaging</i> that only Hope we had of
-seeing one Day our Trade and Industry exonerated
-from the Clogs that oppress them.
-The <i>Fund</i>, which should be sacred, has been
-too often made free with; but the Incroachments
-upon the Purpose of it being temporary
-only, it had no very bad Effect; whereas
-the Case would be otherwise, should they
-be perpetual.</p>
-
-<p class='c014'><i>Blunt</i>. And because it will have that
-ruinous Consequence, you’ll see violent unhallow’d
-Hands laid on that darling Hopes
-of our People.</p>
-
-<p class='c014'><i>Over</i>. Why the D——l don’t our Sages
-give Lotteries of six Millions, instead of six
-hundred Thousand? There are Fools enough
-in <i>England</i> to fill them.</p>
-
-<p class='c014'>Sir <i>John</i>. Another destructive Way of
-raising the Supplies. There is no Method
-more injurious to Trade than Lotteries in general;
-but when managed as our late ones
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_50'>50</span>have been, they become essentially a public
-Nusance.</p>
-
-<p class='c014'><i>Blunt</i>. You mean the <i>sharing</i> out Tickets
-and Chances?</p>
-
-<p class='c014'>Sir <i>John</i>. I do. Never was any Invention
-more destructive of Industry. The poor
-<i>Industrious</i>, whom it is the Policy of all Nations
-to cherish and encourage, are by this
-<i>sharing Traffick</i>, exposed to inevitable
-Destruction. Who but the Poor will buy
-an Eighth or <i>Sixteenth</i> of the Chance of a
-Ticket? The Rich will deal in whole Tickets;
-but ’tis the poor Industrious only that
-ruin themselves to be in Luck’s Way, as they
-term it. ’tis this poor but useful Class of
-the People only, that game at 30 <i>per Cent</i>.
-more Disadvantage than the richer Drones.
-No Temptation should be thrown in the
-Way of the Industrious; but on the Contrary,
-all hurtful Incentives should be removed.
-If you will tempt them to the
-Hazard Table, let them play upon the
-Square. Bring the Price of Tickets down to
-their Level; and let not the Jews, Sharpers,
-and Drones of the Nation be permitted to
-make a Property of them. But why might
-not the Sums raised the two last Years by
-way of Lottery, be as well brought into the
-<i>Exchequer</i> by any other Means?</p>
-
-<p class='c014'><i>Over</i>. But no Means would so effectually
-draw off the Attention of the Public from
-our Misery and impending Danger. And
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_51'>51</span>whatever some idle Folks may think, they
-tell me ’tis one of the principal <i>Arcana’s</i>
-of the Cabinet, to contrive artfully, that
-is imperceptibly, to draw off the public
-<i>Attention</i> from the Conduct of <i>Superiors</i>.
-You can’t conceive how close and out of
-Sight these State Spiders spin their Webs.</p>
-
-<p class='c014'>Sir <i>John</i>. But I can very well conceive
-that the People have Arms long and strong
-enough to reach and sweep those Webs
-clear away whenever they will.</p>
-
-<p class='c014'><i>Over</i>. Ah! Sir <i>John</i>, where have the
-People you brag so much of, hid their Brooms
-and Brushes for many Years past?</p>
-
-<p class='c014'><i>Blunt</i>. Behind the Clouds of <i>Corruption</i>
-and <i>Hypocrisy</i>, where they are like to remain
-much longer, or I am mistaken.</p>
-
-<p class='c014'><i>Broad</i>. Mr. <i>Blunt</i>, it gives me a Concern
-to see you continue your Diffidence of your
-best Friends. You shall find, that neither
-<i>Corruption</i> nor <i>Hypocrisy</i> will stand in the
-Nation’s Way to Happiness, if those whom
-you deem <i>England</i>’s Friends can help it.</p>
-
-<p class='c014'>Sir <i>John</i>. As Jealousy is said to spring
-from Love, <i>Diffidence</i> may be said to be
-founded in Friendship. Mr. <i>Blunt</i> hopes he
-has no Reason to suspect your <i>Intention</i>,
-but dreads you have put it out of your
-Power to serve the Public. You may have
-perceived, Mr. <i>Broadbottom</i>, during the
-whole Conversation, that your Friends apprehend
-this <i>Coalition</i> as you call it, or <i>Ingraftment</i>
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_52'>52</span>as we express it, will answer no
-Purpose of the People, who groan under the
-pressure of heavy Taxes, a vast Debt, Decay of
-Trade, the Yoke of Penal Laws, and those
-worst Y——s of all, the <i>Septennial</i> and the
-Corruption of their ——s. In short, they
-dread your being over-reach’d by your
-more experienc’d Partners, or rather your
-being jostled out of the Course, by the
-abler Jockeys of the C——t. If you wou’d
-serve your Constituents in your present Situation,
-you must act with Caution.——</p>
-
-<p class='c014'><i>Blunt</i>. With <i>Honesty</i>, you should say
-rather. What Caution is necessary in answering
-the Hopes of the People? They
-desire but what is absolutely for their Safety.
-They expect no more than has been often
-solemnly promised them. And sure a Man
-that intends to be as good as his Word need
-not pick out every Step of his Way.</p>
-
-<p class='c014'><i>Over</i>. The Ground about C——t, they
-say, is d——d slippery.</p>
-
-<p class='c014'><i>Blunt</i>. And for that Reason I would not
-have had our Friends get upon it before they
-had secured their Footing there. See what
-is become of the late infamous <i>Deserters</i>
-for want of such Precaution.</p>
-
-<p class='c014'>Sir <i>John</i>. Let us draw no invidious Inferences
-from the Examples of a Crew
-that are now as despicable as they are
-odious to the whole Nation. A Crew that
-can’t claim even the Merit of being intentionally
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_53'>53</span>upright. They did not so much
-as attempt keeping Faith with the People.</p>
-
-<p class='c014'><i>Over</i>. But they kept it religiously with
-the <i>Barn</i> Keeper.</p>
-
-<p class='c014'><i>Blunt</i>. I can’t say who was to be <i>indulged</i>
-by the War, but sure I am the Weight
-of it is grievously felt all over the Body politic.——Mr.
-<i>Broadbottom</i>, you have been
-lately at Court, pray what do they think
-there of the War? Are we like to get out
-of it with Honour? in short, are we like
-to get out of it at all?</p>
-
-<p class='c014'><i>Over</i>. Out of it at all!——The D——l,
-you would not have us serve an Apprenticeship
-to the War, as we do to our
-P——ts?</p>
-
-<p class='c014'>Sir <i>John</i>. If it be no better manag’d than
-it has been hitherto, I don’t see why this
-War might not last much longer than seven
-Years.</p>
-
-<p class='c014'><i>Over</i>. I’ll tell you why it can’t, because
-we shan’t be able to maintain it so long. By
-mortgaging the <i>Sinking Fund</i> we may hold
-out three or four Years pretty tolerably;
-but after that, souse we go to <i>Mint</i> or
-<i>State-bills</i> at 50 <i>per Cent</i>. Discount, as in
-France in old <i>Lewis</i> XIV. his Days.</p>
-
-<p class='c014'><i>Rose</i>. Gentlemen, however, will consider,
-that we can’t get out of the War as
-easily as out of an Assembly Room in the
-Times of our Horse Races.</p>
-
-<p class='c014'><span class='pageno' id='Page_54'>54</span>Sir <i>John</i>. I am sure it would be towering
-Madness to continue it on the same
-Footing it has been carried on hitherto.
-The <i>Dutch</i> should come in for a full equal
-Proportion of the Expence, or I would not
-have a Red-coat left in <i>Flanders</i>.</p>
-
-<p class='c014'><i>Blunt</i>. Let the Cheesemongers look to
-their Barrier and be d——n’d, if they don’t
-come down Guinea for Guinea, and Shilling
-for Shilling with us towards preserving it.</p>
-
-<p class='c014'><i>Over</i>. <i>Blunt</i>, if you would curse the
-<i>Dutch</i> effectually, you must wish them
-undamm’d.</p>
-
-<p class='c014'><i>Blunt</i>. Damn’d or undamm’d let ’em be,
-before Old <i>England</i> wades out of her
-Depths to hold them up by the Chin.</p>
-
-<p class='c014'><i>Broad</i>. Let us hope for the best. They
-may hear Reason, they may see their Interest
-when painted by so masterly a Hand as
-is now intrusted with the Pencil.</p>
-
-<p class='c014'>Sir <i>John</i>. If Wit, Eloquence, Politeness,
-Frankness and Integrity, could move a
-<i>Dutchman</i>, I should not doubt of that great
-Man’s Success; but as nothing but <i>Self-interest</i>
-can engage either his Heart or Attention,
-I fear his L——p won’t be able to persuade
-that <i>selfish</i> People to think it for their Interest
-to declare War against <i>France</i> and <i>Spain</i>
-at the critical Time that we are at Variance
-with those Crowns. We are to consider
-this Juncture as the Harvest Season of the
-<i>Dutch</i>. All the Markets we are shut out
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_55'>55</span>from by the War, are open to them by a
-Neutrality. But what I believe weighs
-not a little with them, is, that they dread
-embarking with us ever since they perceived
-that the Views of our Statesmen have
-tended more towards <i>H——r</i> than <i>England</i>.
-’Tis that observable Bias to a <i>Foreign
-Interest</i> that will deter the <i>States-General</i>,
-if my Lord <i>C——</i> does not succeed
-in his Embassy.</p>
-
-<p class='c014'><i>Broad</i>. Perhaps they may conceive better
-Hopes from the new Administration.</p>
-
-<p class='c014'>Sir <i>John</i>. Perhaps they might, had the
-Administration been <i>new</i>. But as it is no
-more than an old Garment patch’d with
-new Cloth, I fear the <i>Dutch</i> will hardly
-alter their Plan on any Assurances such a
-motley M——y can give them. They
-may think, and perhaps too truly, that the
-same Measures will be follow’d, the same
-<i>Interest</i> be pursued, since the Majority, and
-the chief in Office of the A——n, are of
-the old Stamp. And they as truly may
-think, that neither Harmony nor Success
-can attend Counsels jarring between two
-different separate <i>Interests</i>. While the Interest
-of <i>H——r</i> clashes with that of <i>England</i>,
-we must neither expect Harmony with
-the <i>Dutch</i>, nor Success in our Wars.</p>
-
-<p class='c014'><i>Over</i>. Nor in any thing else, I think.
-Would to God we could join that precious
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_56'>56</span><i>Manor</i> to the <i>Orcades</i>, or send it adrift to
-<i>Lapland</i> or the <i>North Cape</i>.</p>
-
-<p class='c014'><i>Blunt</i>. Since we can do neither, would to
-God our Statesmen would shew themselves
-to be <i>Englishmen</i>!</p>
-
-<p class='c014'><i>Over</i>. Since we are got in the praying
-Strain, let us all pray that our <i>new</i> M——y,
-or at least those lately <i>ingrafted</i> upon the
-<i>old</i>, may not become as arrant <i>H——ns</i> as
-their grafted Predecessors, the late <i>Deserters</i>.
-Let us all say, <i>Amen</i>.</p>
-
-<div class='nf-center-c0'>
-<div class='nf-center c015'>
- <div><span class='large'><i>FINIS</i>.</span></div>
- </div>
-</div>
-
-<div class='figcenter id002'>
-<img src='images/i056.jpg' alt='' class='ig001' />
-</div>
-
-<div class='pbb'>
- <hr class='pb c015' />
-</div>
-<p class='c014'>&nbsp;</p>
-<div class='tnbox'>
-
- <ul class='ul_1 c015'>
- <li>Transcriber’s Notes:
- <ul class='ul_2'>
- <li>Missing or obscured punctuation was silently corrected.
- </li>
- <li>Typographical errors were silently corrected.
- </li>
- <li>Inconsistent spelling and hyphenation were made consistent only when a predominant
- form was found in this book.
- </li>
- </ul>
- </li>
- </ul>
-
-</div>
-<p class='c014'>&nbsp;</p>
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