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diff --git a/44898-0.txt b/44898-0.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..c09a201 --- /dev/null +++ b/44898-0.txt @@ -0,0 +1,614 @@ +*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 44898 *** + +Transcriber's Note: + + Inconsistent hyphenation and spelling in the original document have + been preserved. Obvious typographical errors have been corrected. + + + + + [Illustration] + + O, I AM PRINCE OF THE INKY IMPS + AND KING OF THE BLOTTENTOT CREW; + MY ANCESTREE HAS A PEDIGREE + OF A ROYAL PURPLISH HUE. + + ONCE MY LOT WAS A DARK BLUE SPOT + FLIPPED ON A MILK-WHITE SEA, + A CREASE AND A FOLD--AND A BUCCANEER BOLD + OUT JUMPED--AND THAT WAS ME! + + + + + BLOTTENTOTS + AND HOW TO MAKE THEM + + BY + JOHN PROSPER CARMEL + + [Illustration: + + If you've never made a + Blottentot + This book will help you + quite a lot!] + + PAUL ELDER AND COMPANY + SAN FRANCISCO AND NEW YORK + + + + + Copyright, 1907, by Paul Elder & Company. + + Entered at Stationers' Hall, London. + + + + + These were made for Dymphna + + + + + [Illustration] + + +HOW TO MAKE BLOTTENTOTS + + + To make a funny Blottentot, + First take a piece of paper, + Splash on some ink, a single spot, + Crease, press, but cut no caper. + + Don't crease exactly at the blot-- + You'll have a fearful muddle; + Press gently, too, and not a lot, + Unless you want a puddle. + + With everything we humans do, + Practice makes us apter: + So start at once, you'll find it true + At the end of your first chapter. + + + + + [Illustration] + + +A FLIT-FLIT FLITTER + + + In the realms of wonderland + Such flies do gaily flitter, + But when they're just a blot of ink + Of course they cannot glitter. + + They flitter, flutter round about, + These Flitter-Flitter-Flitters, + O'er dewy flow'ry sunny meads, + The lightest, brightest critters. + + + + + [Illustration] + + +A GOBBLE-ME-UP + + + Weedy, greedy Gobble-Me-Up, + Your mouth is a fearful size. + Do you live on little girls and boys, + Or merely cakes and pies? + + + + + [Illustration] + + +TWO BUCKING NIGHTMARES + + + Two bucking nightmares ran out to neigh, + Thinking it night, but found it day, + So took to their heels in sore dismay,-- + I'm 'fraid they still are running away. + + + + + [Illustration] + + +STRANGE BUT TRUE + + + Now it seems to be scarcely credible, + A difficult thing to think, + That such a strange grotesquerie + Was pressed from a drop of ink. + + But word for word I tell you, + As true as word can be, + That in its making there was naught + But the blindest chancerie. + + + + + [Illustration] + + +LAW-MAKERS + + + Tom and Johnny Make-the-law, + Talkative and lazy, + Standing on a Thingumajig + Comical and crazy. + You are just a pair of Imps, + With but one leg that badly limps. + + + + + [Illustration] + + +MISTRESS NELL + + + Gadzooks, Nell Gwynne! + How did you get in? + Did you walk or were you brought + in your chair? + Your dress is perfection + To the smallest section + Of stomacher, quilting and hair. + + + + + [Illustration] + + +A PROFESSIONAL TIFF + + + Said Dr. Spindleshanks, + "I'll stand no silly pranks!" + "You're nothing but a prig!" + Said Dr. Funnywig. + Then, making each a face, + They went off at a pace. + + + + + [Illustration] + + +SAFE AT A DISTANCE + + + You big Bugaboo! + We didn't want you, + But really now that you've come, + If you keep far away + We'll permit you to stay, + Just as long you keep quite dumb. + + + + + [Illustration] + + +TEENY AND TINY + + + Teeny and Tiny Pugnoses + Have discovered two beautiful roses, + But the stems are so tall + They can't reach them at all, + Though they stand on the tips + of their toeses. + + + + + [Illustration] + + +IMPISH + + + You can see by the look of this + big-footed Sprite, + That just the one thing that + affords him delight + Is to give a high jump and land + on your toe, + On the very same spot where + the biggest corns grow. + + + + + [Illustration] + + +A LITTLE GRASS MIDGET + + + This is a little grass Midget, + As you know a most terrible fidget. + For a month every year + He makes it quite clear + That he is a little grass Midget. + + + + + [Illustration] + + +SIAMESE TWINS? + + + I hope they're on pegs, + Because if they're legs, + They are altogether shocking. + They have no feet, + And almost meet, + And haven't the sign of a stocking. + + + + + [Illustration] + + +A KANGAR-ROOSTER-ROO + + + Why, here's our dear old hopper, + Our Kangar-rooster-roo! + And seeing he's such a whopper, + I'll certainly not say "Shoo"! + + Then there are two, you see, + So I'd better hold my peace, + Or they may sit on me + And leave me a crumpled crease. + + + + + [Illustration] + + +A SURPRISE + + + A Squidgeecumsquee + Got up in a tree, + And found another-- + The fac simile. + "Oh dear! oh my!" + He said jumping high, + "It's surely my brother-- + What a horrible guy!" + + + + + [Illustration] + + +CONSIDERATE + + + "You jump over to me," said Sue. + "I wish you would come to me," + said Loo; + "As sure as I jump + I'll kick that stump, + So really I'd rather let you." + + + + + [Illustration] + + +RISKY + + + Now this is just the funniest rogue, + A Brownie as black as ink, + And what he's doing perched up there, + I'm sure I cannot think. + + He's holding his arms like a pair of sails; + Perhaps he's trying to fly. + Let's hope he won't be playing that game + When you and I pass by. + + + + + [Illustration] + + +DOGGEREL + + + Here are the strangest pair of dogs, + What sort I cannot tell, + But judging by their noses sharp + They have the sense of smell. + + Their tails are very, very long,-- + But does it really matter? + By the very way they stare and start + They're mad as any hatter. + + + + + [Illustration] + + +A WARNING + + + Are these Quumps or Zagabogs, + Golliwogs or Quees? + Anyhow, you'd best look out,-- + They're just about to sneeze! + + + + + [Illustration] + + +THE LATEST DISCOVERY + + + I've just discovered a marvelous way + Of making these Blottentots mottled and gray; + If you promise you never will show any one + I'll tell you the secret of how it is done. + + Take two bottles of ink, one thick and one thin, + Of different blacks, and dip your pen in; + From each splash a drop at the very same spot, + Then do as before, only pressing a lot. + + + + + [Illustration] + + +SORRY GRIGS + + + What makes these little Grigs so sad? + They're standing most dejected. + Have they been up to something bad + And in it got detected? + + + + + [Illustration] + + +LANKY DOODLE + + + Lanky Doodle came to town + Without his little pony, + Stuck a feather in his hat + With bits of macaroni. + + + + + [Illustration] + + +THE DANCE + + + Jingle your bells and your tambourine + For just such a dance as you never have seen; + Such swishing of skirts, and glancing of feet, + Such bowing and parting, then running to meet; + So jingle your bells and your tambourine, + And keep them a-dancing from morning till e'en. + + + + + [Illustration] + + +LOOK OUT FOR HIM! + + + He's flying in the air, + So you are safe and sound; + But you had better skip + When he lights upon the ground. + + + + + [Illustration] + + +MACBETH + +Act I, Scene I. + + + "When shall we 'two' meet again-- + In thunder, lightning, or in rain?" + "When the hurly-burly's done, + When the battle's lost and won." + + + + + [Illustration] + + +PERPLEXING + + + A queer little wight, + Very strangely dight, + Looked so much like his brother, + That, believe me, it's true, + No one ever knew + How to tell one from t'other. + + + + + [Illustration] + + +MERELY ACCIDENTAL + + + Such angular shapes + In such beautiful capes + Are the silliest contradiction, + But they simply "came," + So I'm not to blame; + With Blottentots there's no restriction. + + + + + [Illustration] + + +BIRDS OF A FEATHER + + + "Now really it is shocking!" irately said + Miss B, + "To think that you are mocking and + making fun of me. + You have your wings and rufflings + the very same as I, + So you need not turn your nose up, + with a twinkle in your eye." + + + + + [Illustration] + + +A DE-DUCK-TION + + + Pluck + A duck + Of a wing. + Alack! + He'll quack, + And not sing. + + + + + [Illustration] + + +AN OVERSIGHT + + + Two Rabbits met and shook hands one day + In the gravest possible kind of a way. + But what was the cause of their serious mien + From our picture is not very easily seen. + They'd been jollier far if they'd stopped to sup + The honeyed mead from the buttercup. + + + + + [Illustration] + + +QUITE THE THING + + + Words fail + To detail, + I can only smile. + Your salute + Is cute + And just perfect style. + + + + + [Illustration] + + +QUAINT AND QUEER + + + Quaint and Queer, + A funny pair, + The funniest you could see, + Met one day + In a strange array, + The strangest that could be. + + Each stood and stared + As if he feared + That he would get a poke; + But laughed to find + The other kind, + And thought it all a joke. + + + + + [Illustration] + + +FINIS + + + Before, I had some Cassowaries, + Now I have two Dromedaries. + So just to leave some shapes for you, + I'll doff my cap and say adieu. + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Blottentots and How to Make Them, by +John Prosper Carmel + +*** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 44898 *** diff --git a/44898-h.zip b/44898-h.zip Binary files differdeleted file mode 100644 index ad7a7e8..0000000 --- a/44898-h.zip +++ /dev/null diff --git a/44898-h/44898-h.htm b/44898-h/44898-h.htm index 765d574..bae37fd 100644 --- a/44898-h/44898-h.htm +++ b/44898-h/44898-h.htm @@ -3,7 +3,7 @@ <html xmlns="http://www.w3.org/1999/xhtml"> <head> - <meta http-equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html;charset=iso-8859-1" /> + <meta http-equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html;charset=UTF-8" /> <meta http-equiv="Content-Style-Type" content="text/css" /> <title> The Project Gutenberg eBook of Blottentots and How to Make Them, by John Prosper Carmel. @@ -113,45 +113,7 @@ p { </style> </head> <body> - - -<pre> - -Project Gutenberg's Blottentots and How to Make Them, by John Prosper Carmel - -This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with -almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or -re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included -with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org - - -Title: Blottentots and How to Make Them - -Author: John Prosper Carmel - -Release Date: February 14, 2014 [EBook #44898] - -Language: English - -Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1 - -*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK BLOTTENTOTS AND HOW TO MAKE THEM *** - - - - -Produced by Melissa McDaniel and the Online Distributed -Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net (This file was -produced from images generously made available by The -Internet Archive) - - - - - - -</pre> - +<div>*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 44898 ***</div> <div class="tnbox"> <p class="center"><b>Transcriber's Note:</b></p> @@ -1462,384 +1424,7 @@ So just to leave some shapes for you, <img src="images/backcover.jpg" width="429" height="600" alt="Backcover" /> </div> - - - - - - - -<pre> - - - - - -End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Blottentots and How to Make Them, by -John Prosper Carmel - -*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK BLOTTENTOTS AND HOW TO MAKE THEM *** - -***** This file should be named 44898-h.htm or 44898-h.zip ***** -This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: - http://www.gutenberg.org/4/4/8/9/44898/ - -Produced by Melissa McDaniel and the Online Distributed -Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net (This file was -produced from images generously made available by The -Internet Archive) - - -Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions -will be renamed. - -Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no -one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation -(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without -permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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You may copy it, give it away or -re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included -with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org - - -Title: Blottentots and How to Make Them - -Author: John Prosper Carmel - -Release Date: February 14, 2014 [EBook #44898] - -Language: English - -Character set encoding: ASCII - -*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK BLOTTENTOTS AND HOW TO MAKE THEM *** - - - - -Produced by Melissa McDaniel and the Online Distributed -Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net (This file was -produced from images generously made available by The -Internet Archive) - - - - - - - -Transcriber's Note: - - Inconsistent hyphenation and spelling in the original document have - been preserved. Obvious typographical errors have been corrected. - - - - - [Illustration] - - O, I AM PRINCE OF THE INKY IMPS - AND KING OF THE BLOTTENTOT CREW; - MY ANCESTREE HAS A PEDIGREE - OF A ROYAL PURPLISH HUE. - - ONCE MY LOT WAS A DARK BLUE SPOT - FLIPPED ON A MILK-WHITE SEA, - A CREASE AND A FOLD--AND A BUCCANEER BOLD - OUT JUMPED--AND THAT WAS ME! - - - - - BLOTTENTOTS - AND HOW TO MAKE THEM - - BY - JOHN PROSPER CARMEL - - [Illustration: - - If you've never made a - Blottentot - This book will help you - quite a lot!] - - PAUL ELDER AND COMPANY - SAN FRANCISCO AND NEW YORK - - - - - Copyright, 1907, by Paul Elder & Company. - - Entered at Stationers' Hall, London. - - - - - These were made for Dymphna - - - - - [Illustration] - - -HOW TO MAKE BLOTTENTOTS - - - To make a funny Blottentot, - First take a piece of paper, - Splash on some ink, a single spot, - Crease, press, but cut no caper. - - Don't crease exactly at the blot-- - You'll have a fearful muddle; - Press gently, too, and not a lot, - Unless you want a puddle. - - With everything we humans do, - Practice makes us apter: - So start at once, you'll find it true - At the end of your first chapter. - - - - - [Illustration] - - -A FLIT-FLIT FLITTER - - - In the realms of wonderland - Such flies do gaily flitter, - But when they're just a blot of ink - Of course they cannot glitter. - - They flitter, flutter round about, - These Flitter-Flitter-Flitters, - O'er dewy flow'ry sunny meads, - The lightest, brightest critters. - - - - - [Illustration] - - -A GOBBLE-ME-UP - - - Weedy, greedy Gobble-Me-Up, - Your mouth is a fearful size. - Do you live on little girls and boys, - Or merely cakes and pies? - - - - - [Illustration] - - -TWO BUCKING NIGHTMARES - - - Two bucking nightmares ran out to neigh, - Thinking it night, but found it day, - So took to their heels in sore dismay,-- - I'm 'fraid they still are running away. - - - - - [Illustration] - - -STRANGE BUT TRUE - - - Now it seems to be scarcely credible, - A difficult thing to think, - That such a strange grotesquerie - Was pressed from a drop of ink. - - But word for word I tell you, - As true as word can be, - That in its making there was naught - But the blindest chancerie. - - - - - [Illustration] - - -LAW-MAKERS - - - Tom and Johnny Make-the-law, - Talkative and lazy, - Standing on a Thingumajig - Comical and crazy. - You are just a pair of Imps, - With but one leg that badly limps. - - - - - [Illustration] - - -MISTRESS NELL - - - Gadzooks, Nell Gwynne! - How did you get in? - Did you walk or were you brought - in your chair? - Your dress is perfection - To the smallest section - Of stomacher, quilting and hair. - - - - - [Illustration] - - -A PROFESSIONAL TIFF - - - Said Dr. Spindleshanks, - "I'll stand no silly pranks!" - "You're nothing but a prig!" - Said Dr. Funnywig. - Then, making each a face, - They went off at a pace. - - - - - [Illustration] - - -SAFE AT A DISTANCE - - - You big Bugaboo! - We didn't want you, - But really now that you've come, - If you keep far away - We'll permit you to stay, - Just as long you keep quite dumb. - - - - - [Illustration] - - -TEENY AND TINY - - - Teeny and Tiny Pugnoses - Have discovered two beautiful roses, - But the stems are so tall - They can't reach them at all, - Though they stand on the tips - of their toeses. - - - - - [Illustration] - - -IMPISH - - - You can see by the look of this - big-footed Sprite, - That just the one thing that - affords him delight - Is to give a high jump and land - on your toe, - On the very same spot where - the biggest corns grow. - - - - - [Illustration] - - -A LITTLE GRASS MIDGET - - - This is a little grass Midget, - As you know a most terrible fidget. - For a month every year - He makes it quite clear - That he is a little grass Midget. - - - - - [Illustration] - - -SIAMESE TWINS? - - - I hope they're on pegs, - Because if they're legs, - They are altogether shocking. - They have no feet, - And almost meet, - And haven't the sign of a stocking. - - - - - [Illustration] - - -A KANGAR-ROOSTER-ROO - - - Why, here's our dear old hopper, - Our Kangar-rooster-roo! - And seeing he's such a whopper, - I'll certainly not say "Shoo"! - - Then there are two, you see, - So I'd better hold my peace, - Or they may sit on me - And leave me a crumpled crease. - - - - - [Illustration] - - -A SURPRISE - - - A Squidgeecumsquee - Got up in a tree, - And found another-- - The fac simile. - "Oh dear! oh my!" - He said jumping high, - "It's surely my brother-- - What a horrible guy!" - - - - - [Illustration] - - -CONSIDERATE - - - "You jump over to me," said Sue. - "I wish you would come to me," - said Loo; - "As sure as I jump - I'll kick that stump, - So really I'd rather let you." - - - - - [Illustration] - - -RISKY - - - Now this is just the funniest rogue, - A Brownie as black as ink, - And what he's doing perched up there, - I'm sure I cannot think. - - He's holding his arms like a pair of sails; - Perhaps he's trying to fly. - Let's hope he won't be playing that game - When you and I pass by. - - - - - [Illustration] - - -DOGGEREL - - - Here are the strangest pair of dogs, - What sort I cannot tell, - But judging by their noses sharp - They have the sense of smell. - - Their tails are very, very long,-- - But does it really matter? - By the very way they stare and start - They're mad as any hatter. - - - - - [Illustration] - - -A WARNING - - - Are these Quumps or Zagabogs, - Golliwogs or Quees? - Anyhow, you'd best look out,-- - They're just about to sneeze! - - - - - [Illustration] - - -THE LATEST DISCOVERY - - - I've just discovered a marvelous way - Of making these Blottentots mottled and gray; - If you promise you never will show any one - I'll tell you the secret of how it is done. - - Take two bottles of ink, one thick and one thin, - Of different blacks, and dip your pen in; - From each splash a drop at the very same spot, - Then do as before, only pressing a lot. - - - - - [Illustration] - - -SORRY GRIGS - - - What makes these little Grigs so sad? - They're standing most dejected. - Have they been up to something bad - And in it got detected? - - - - - [Illustration] - - -LANKY DOODLE - - - Lanky Doodle came to town - Without his little pony, - Stuck a feather in his hat - With bits of macaroni. - - - - - [Illustration] - - -THE DANCE - - - Jingle your bells and your tambourine - For just such a dance as you never have seen; - Such swishing of skirts, and glancing of feet, - Such bowing and parting, then running to meet; - So jingle your bells and your tambourine, - And keep them a-dancing from morning till e'en. - - - - - [Illustration] - - -LOOK OUT FOR HIM! - - - He's flying in the air, - So you are safe and sound; - But you had better skip - When he lights upon the ground. - - - - - [Illustration] - - -MACBETH - -Act I, Scene I. - - - "When shall we 'two' meet again-- - In thunder, lightning, or in rain?" - "When the hurly-burly's done, - When the battle's lost and won." - - - - - [Illustration] - - -PERPLEXING - - - A queer little wight, - Very strangely dight, - Looked so much like his brother, - That, believe me, it's true, - No one ever knew - How to tell one from t'other. - - - - - [Illustration] - - -MERELY ACCIDENTAL - - - Such angular shapes - In such beautiful capes - Are the silliest contradiction, - But they simply "came," - So I'm not to blame; - With Blottentots there's no restriction. - - - - - [Illustration] - - -BIRDS OF A FEATHER - - - "Now really it is shocking!" irately said - Miss B, - "To think that you are mocking and - making fun of me. - You have your wings and rufflings - the very same as I, - So you need not turn your nose up, - with a twinkle in your eye." - - - - - [Illustration] - - -A DE-DUCK-TION - - - Pluck - A duck - Of a wing. - Alack! - He'll quack, - And not sing. - - - - - [Illustration] - - -AN OVERSIGHT - - - Two Rabbits met and shook hands one day - In the gravest possible kind of a way. - But what was the cause of their serious mien - From our picture is not very easily seen. - They'd been jollier far if they'd stopped to sup - The honeyed mead from the buttercup. - - - - - [Illustration] - - -QUITE THE THING - - - Words fail - To detail, - I can only smile. - Your salute - Is cute - And just perfect style. - - - - - [Illustration] - - -QUAINT AND QUEER - - - Quaint and Queer, - A funny pair, - The funniest you could see, - Met one day - In a strange array, - The strangest that could be. - - Each stood and stared - As if he feared - That he would get a poke; - But laughed to find - The other kind, - And thought it all a joke. - - - - - [Illustration] - - -FINIS - - - Before, I had some Cassowaries, - Now I have two Dromedaries. - So just to leave some shapes for you, - I'll doff my cap and say adieu. - - - - - -End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Blottentots and How to Make Them, by -John Prosper Carmel - -*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK BLOTTENTOTS AND HOW TO MAKE THEM *** - -***** This file should be named 44898.txt or 44898.zip ***** -This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: - http://www.gutenberg.org/4/4/8/9/44898/ - -Produced by Melissa McDaniel and the Online Distributed -Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net (This file was -produced from images generously made available by The -Internet Archive) - - -Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions -will be renamed. - -Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no -one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation -(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without -permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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