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diff --git a/.gitattributes b/.gitattributes new file mode 100644 index 0000000..6833f05 --- /dev/null +++ b/.gitattributes @@ -0,0 +1,3 @@ +* text=auto +*.txt text +*.md text diff --git a/3485-h.zip b/3485-h.zip Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..13eb64f --- /dev/null +++ b/3485-h.zip diff --git a/3485-h/3485-h.htm b/3485-h/3485-h.htm new file mode 100644 index 0000000..31519e7 --- /dev/null +++ b/3485-h/3485-h.htm @@ -0,0 +1,1391 @@ +<?xml version="1.0" encoding="us-ascii"?> + +<!DOCTYPE html + PUBLIC "-//W3C//DTD XHTML 1.0 Strict//EN" + "http://www.w3.org/TR/xhtml1/DTD/xhtml1-strict.dtd" > + +<html xmlns="http://www.w3.org/1999/xhtml" lang="en"> + <head> + <title> + Annajanska, the Bolshevik Empress, by George Bernard Shaw + </title> + <style type="text/css" xml:space="preserve"> + + body { margin:5%; background:#faebd0; text-align:justify} + P { text-indent: 1em; margin-top: .25em; margin-bottom: .25em; } + H1,H2,H3,H4,H5,H6 { text-align: center; margin-left: 15%; margin-right: 15%; } + hr { width: 50%; text-align: center;} + .foot { margin-left: 20%; margin-right: 20%; text-align: justify; text-indent: -3em; font-size: 90%; } + blockquote {font-size: 97%; font-style: italic; margin-left: 10%; margin-right: 10%;} + .mynote {background-color: #DDE; color: #000; padding: .5em; margin-left: 10%; margin-right: 10%; font-family: sans-serif; font-size: 95%;} + .toc { margin-left: 10%; margin-bottom: .75em;} + .toc2 { margin-left: 20%;} + div.fig { display:block; margin:0 auto; text-align:center; } + div.middle { margin-left: 20%; margin-right: 20%; text-align: justify; } + .figleft {float: left; margin-left: 0%; margin-right: 1%;} + .figright {float: right; margin-right: 0%; margin-left: 1%;} + .pagenum {display:inline; font-size: 70%; font-style:normal; + margin: 0; padding: 0; position: absolute; right: 1%; + text-align: right;} + pre { font-style: italic; font-size: 90%; margin-left: 10%;} + +</style> + </head> + <body> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + +Project Gutenberg's Annajanska, the Bolshevik Empress, by George Bernard Shaw + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: Annajanska, the Bolshevik Empress + +Author: George Bernard Shaw + +Release Date: January 15, 2009 [EBook #3485] +Last Updated: December 10, 2012 + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ASCII + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK ANNAJANSKA, THE BOLSHEVIK EMPRESS *** + + + + +Produced by Eve Sobol, and David Widger + + + + + + +</pre> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <h1> + ANNAJANSKA, <br /> <br /> THE BOLSHEVIK EMPRESS + </h1> + <p> + <br /> + </p> + <h2> + By George Bernard Shaw + </h2> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <p> + ANNAJANSKA is frankly a bravura piece. The modern variety theatre demands + for its "turns" little plays called sketches, to last twenty minutes or + so, and to enable some favorite performer to make a brief but dazzling + appearance on some barely passable dramatic pretext. Miss Lillah McCarthy + and I, as author and actress, have helped to make one another famous on + many serious occasions, from Man and Superman to Androcles; and Mr Charles + Ricketts has not disdained to snatch moments from his painting and + sculpture to design some wonderful dresses for us. We three unbent as Mrs + Siddons, Sir Joshua Reynolds and Dr Johnson might have unbent, to devise a + turn for the Coliseum variety theatre. Not that we would set down the art + of the variety theatre as something to be condescended to, or our own art + as elephantine. We should rather crave indulgence as three novices fresh + from the awful legitimacy of the highbrow theatre. + </p> + <p> + Well, Miss McCarthy and Mr Ricketts justified themselves easily in the + glamor of the footlights, to the strains of Tchaikovsky's 1812. I fear I + did not. I have received only one compliment on my share; and that was + from a friend who said, "It is the only one of your works that is not too + long." So I have made it a page or two longer, according to my own + precept: EMBRACE YOUR REPROACHES: THEY ARE OFTEN GLORIES IN DISGUISE. + </p> + <p> + Annajanska was first performed at the Coliseum Theatre in London on the + 21st January, 1918, with Lillah McCarthy as the Grand Duchess, Henry + Miller as Schneidekind, and Randle Ayrton as General Strammfest. + </p> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + ANNAJANSKA, THE BOLSHEVIK EMPRESS + </h2> + <div class="play"> + <p> + The General's office in a military station on the east front in Beotia. + An office table with a telephone, writing materials, official papers, + etc., is set across the room. At the end of the table, a comfortable + chair for the General. Behind the chair, a window. Facing it at the + other end of the table, a plain wooden bench. At the side of the table, + with its back to the door, a common chair, with a typewriter before it. + Beside the door, which is opposite the end of the bench, a rack for caps + and coats. There is nobody in the room. + </p> + <p> + General Strammfest enters, followed by Lieutenant Schneidekind. They + hang up their cloaks and caps. Schneidekind takes a little longer than + Strammfest, who comes to the table. + </p> + <p> + STRAMMFEST. Schneidekind. + </p> + <p> + SCHNEIDEKIND. Yes, sir. + </p> + <p> + STRAMMFEST. Have you sent my report yet to the government? [He sits + down.] + </p> + <p> + SCHNEIDEKIND [coming to the table]. Not yet, sir. Which government do + you wish it sent to? [He sits down.] + </p> + <p> + STRAMMFEST. That depends. What's the latest? Which of them do you think + is most likely to be in power tomorrow morning? + </p> + <p> + SCHNEIDEKIND. Well, the provisional government was going strong + yesterday. But today they say that the Prime Minister has shot himself, + and that the extreme left fellow has shot all the others. + </p> + <p> + STRAMMFEST. Yes: that's all very well; but these fellows always shoot + themselves with blank cartridge. + </p> + <p> + SCHNEIDEKIND. Still, even the blank cartridge means backing down. I + should send the report to the Maximilianists. + </p> + <p> + STRAMMFEST. They're no stronger than the Oppidoshavians; and in my own + opinion the Moderate Red Revolutionaries are as likely to come out on + top as either of them. + </p> + <p> + SCHNEIDEKIND. I can easily put a few carbon sheets in the typewriter and + send a copy each to the lot. + </p> + <p> + STRAMMFEST. Waste of paper. You might as well send reports to an infant + school. [He throws his head on the table with a groan.] + </p> + <p> + SCHNEIDEKIND. Tired out, Sir? + </p> + <p> + STRAMMFEST. O Schneidekind, Schneidekind, how can you bear to live? + </p> + <p> + SCHNEIDEKIND. At my age, sir, I ask myself how can I bear to die? + </p> + <p> + STRAMMFEST. You are young, young and heartless. You are excited by the + revolution: you are attached to abstract things like liberty. But my + family has served the Panjandrums of Beotia faithfully for seven + centuries. The Panjandrums have kept our place for us at their courts, + honored us, promoted us, shed their glory on us, made us what we are. + When I hear you young men declaring that you are fighting for + civilization, for democracy, for the overthrow of militarism, I ask + myself how can a man shed his blood for empty words used by vulgar + tradesmen and common laborers: mere wind and stink. [He rises, exalted + by his theme.] A king is a splendid reality, a man raised above us like + a god. You can see him; you can kiss his hand; you can be cheered by his + smile and terrified by his frown. I would have died for my Panjandrum as + my father died for his father. Your toiling millions were only too + honored to receive the toes of our boots in the proper spot for them + when they displeased their betters. And now what is left in life for me? + [He relapses into his chair discouraged.] My Panjandrum is deposed and + transported to herd with convicts. The army, his pride and glory, is + paraded to hear seditious speeches from penniless rebels, with the + colonel actually forced to take the chair and introduce the speaker. I + myself am made Commander-in-Chief by my own solicitor: a Jew, + Schneidekind! a Hebrew Jew! It seems only yesterday that these things + would have been the ravings of a madman: today they are the commonplaces + of the gutter press. I live now for three objects only: to defeat the + enemy, to restore the Panjandrum, and to hang my solicitor. + </p> + <p> + SCHNEIDEKIND. Be careful, sir: these are dangerous views to utter + nowadays. What if I were to betray you? + </p> + <p> + STRAMMFEST. What! + </p> + <p> + SCHNEIDEKIND. I won't, of course: my own father goes on just like that; + but suppose I did? + </p> + <p> + STRAMMFEST [chuckling]. I should accuse you of treason to the + Revolution, my lad; and they would immediately shoot you, unless you + cried and asked to see your mother before you died, when they would + probably change their minds and make you a brigadier. Enough. [He rises + and expands his chest.] I feel the better for letting myself go. To + business. [He takes up a telegram: opens it: and is thunderstruck by its + contents.] Great heaven! [He collapses into his chair.] This is the + worst blow of all. + </p> + <p> + SCHNEIDEKIND. What has happened? Are we beaten? + </p> + <p> + STRAMMFEST. Man, do you think that a mere defeat could strike me down as + this news does: I, who have been defeated thirteen times since the war + began? O, my master, my master, my Panjandrum! [he is convulsed with + sobs.] + </p> + <p> + SCHNEIDEKIND. They have killed him? + </p> + <p> + STRAMMFEST. A dagger has been struck through his heart— + </p> + <p> + SCHNEIDEKIND. Good God! + </p> + <p> + STRAMMFEST. —and through mine, through mine. + </p> + <p> + SCHNEIDEKIND [relieved]. Oh, a metaphorical dagger! I thought you meant + a real one. What has happened? + </p> + <p> + STRAMMFEST. His daughter the Grand Duchess Annajanska, she whom the + Panjandrina loved beyond all her other children, has—has— + [he cannot finish.] + </p> + <p> + SCHNEIDEKIND. Committed suicide? + </p> + <p> + STRAMMFEST. No. Better if she had. Oh, far far better. + </p> + <p> + SCHNEIDEKIND [in hushed tones]. Left the Church? + </p> + <p> + STRAMMFEST [shocked]. Certainly not. Do not blaspheme, young man. + </p> + <p> + SCHNEIDEKIND. Asked for the vote? + </p> + <p> + STRAMMFEST. I would have given it to her with both hands to save her + from this. + </p> + <p> + SCHNEIDEKIND. Save her from what? Dash it, sir, out with it. + </p> + <p> + STRAMMFEST. She has joined the Revolution. + </p> + <p> + SCHNEIDEKIND. But so have you, sir. We've all joined the Revolution. She + doesn't mean it any more than we do. + </p> + <p> + STRAMMFEST. Heaven grant you may be right! But that is not the worst. + She had eloped with a young officer. Eloped, Schneidekind, eloped! + </p> + <p> + SCHNEIDEKIND [not particularly impressed]. Yes, Sir. + </p> + <p> + STRAMMFEST. Annajanska, the beautiful, the innocent, my master's + daughter! [He buries his face in his hands.] + </p> + <p> + The telephone rings. + </p> + <p> + SCHNEIDEKIND [taking the receiver]. Yes: G.H.Q. Yes... Don't bawl: I'm + not a general. Who is it speaking?... Why didn't you say so? don't you + know your duty? Next time you will lose your stripe... Oh, they've made + you a colonel, have they? Well, they've made me a field-marshal: now + what have you to say?... Look here: what did you ring up for? I can't + spend the day here listening to your cheek... What! the Grand Duchess + [Strammfest starts.] Where did you catch her? + </p> + <p> + STRAMMFEST [snatching the telephone and listening for the answer]. Speak + louder, will you: I am a General I know that, you dolt. Have you + captured the officer that was with her?... Damnation! You shall answer + for this: you let him go: he bribed you. You must have seen him: the + fellow is in the full dress court uniform of the Panderobajensky + Hussars. I give you twelve hours to catch him or... what's that you say + about the devil? Are you swearing at me, you... Thousand thunders! [To + Schneidekind.] The swine says that the Grand Duchess is a devil + incarnate. [Into the telephone.] Filthy traitor: is that the way you + dare speak of the daughter of our anointed Panjandrum? I'll— + </p> + <p> + SCHNEIDEKIND [pulling the telephone from his lips]. Take care, sir. + </p> + <p> + STRAMMFEST. I won't take care: I'll have him shot. Let go that + telephone. + </p> + <p> + SCHNEIDEKIND. But for her own sake, sir— + </p> + <p> + STRAMMFEST. Eh?— + </p> + <p> + SCHNEIDEKIND. For her own sake they had better send her here. She will + be safe in your hands. + </p> + <p> + STRAMMFEST [yielding the receiver]. You are right. Be civil to him. I + should choke [he sits down]. + </p> + <p> + SCHNEIDEKIND [into the telephone]. Hullo. Never mind all that: it's only + a fellow here who has been fooling with the telephone. I had to leave + the room for a moment. Wash out: and send the girl along. We'll jolly + soon teach her to behave herself here... Oh, you've sent her already. + Then why the devil didn't you say so, you—[he hangs up the + telephone angrily]. Just fancy: they started her off this morning: and + all this is because the fellow likes to get on the telephone and hear + himself talk now that he is a colonel. [The telephone rings again. He + snatches the receiver furiously.] What's the matter now?... [To the + General.] It's our own people downstairs. [Into the receiver.] Here! do + you suppose I've nothing else to do than to hang on to the telephone all + day?... What's that? Not men enough to hold her! What do you mean? [To + the General.] She is there, sir. + </p> + <p> + STRAMMFEST. Tell them to send her up. I shall have to receive her + without even rising, without kissing her hand, to keep up appearances + before the escort. It will break my heart. + </p> + <p> + SCHNEIDEKIND [into the receiver]. Send her up... Tcha! [He hangs up the + receiver.] He says she is halfway up already: they couldn't hold her. + </p> + <p> + The Grand Duchess bursts into the room, dragging with her two exhausted + soldiers hanging on desperately to her arms. She is enveloped from head + to foot by a fur-lined cloak, and wears a fur cap. + </p> + <p> + SCHNEIDEKIND [pointing to the bench]. At the word Go, place your + prisoner on the bench in a sitting posture; and take your seats right + and left of her. Go. + </p> + <p> + The two soldiers make a supreme effort to force her to sit down. She + flings them back so that they are forced to sit on the bench to save + themselves from falling backwards over it, and is herself dragged into + sitting between them. The second soldier, holding on tight to the Grand + Duchess with one hand, produces papers with the other, and waves them + towards Schneidekind, who takes them from him and passes them on to the + General. He opens them and reads them with a grave expression. + </p> + <p> + SCHNEIDEKIND. Be good enough to wait, prisoner, until the General has + read the papers on your case. + </p> + <p> + THE GRAND DUCHESS [to the soldiers]. Let go. [To Strammfest]. Tell them + to let go, or I'll upset the bench backwards and bash our three heads on + the floor. + </p> + <p> + FIRST SOLDIER. No, little mother. Have mercy on the poor. + </p> + <p> + STRAMMFEST [growling over the edge of the paper he is reading]. Hold + your tongue. + </p> + <p> + THE GRAND DUCHESS [blazing]. Me, or the soldier? + </p> + <p> + STRAMMFEST [horrified]. The soldier, madam. + </p> + <p> + THE GRAND DUCHESS. Tell him to let go. + </p> + <p> + STRAMMFEST. Release the lady. + </p> + <p> + The soldiers take their hands off her. One of them wipes his fevered + brow. The other sucks his wrist. + </p> + <p> + SCHNEIDKIND [fiercely]. 'ttention! + </p> + <p> + The two soldiers sit up stiffly. + </p> + <p> + THE GRAND DUCHESS. Oh, let the poor man suck his wrist. It may be + poisoned. I bit it. + </p> + <p> + STRAMMFEST [shocked]. You bit a common soldier! + </p> + <p> + GRAND DUCHESS. Well, I offered to cauterize it with the poker in the + office stove. But he was afraid. What more could I do? + </p> + <p> + SCHNEIDEKIND. Why did you bite him, prisoner? + </p> + <p> + THE GRAND DUCHESS. He would not let go. + </p> + <p> + STRAMMFEST. Did he let go when you bit him? + </p> + <p> + THE GRAND DUCHESS. No. [Patting the soldier on the back]. You should + give the man a cross for his devotion. I could not go on eating him; so + I brought him along with me. + </p> + <p> + STRAMMFEST. Prisoner— + </p> + <p> + THE GRAND DUCHESS. Don't call me prisoner, General Strammfest. My + grandmother dandled you on her knee. + </p> + <p> + STRAMMFEST [bursting into tears]. O God, yes. Believe me, my heart is + what it was then. + </p> + <p> + THE GRAND DUCHESS. Your brain also is what it was then. I will not be + addressed by you as prisoner. + </p> + <p> + STRAMMFEST. I may not, for your own sake, call you by your rightful and + most sacred titles. What am I to call you? + </p> + <p> + THE GRAND DUCHESS. The Revolution has made us comrades. Call me comrade. + </p> + <p> + STRAMMFEST. I had rather die. + </p> + <p> + THE GRAND DUCHESS. Then call me Annajanska; and I will call you Peter + Piper, as grandmamma did. + </p> + <p> + STRAMMFEST [painfully agitated]. Schneidekind, you must speak to her: I + cannot—[he breaks down.] + </p> + <p> + SCHNEIDEKIND [officially]. The Republic of Beotia has been compelled to + confine the Panjandrum and his family, for their own safety, within + certain bounds. You have broken those bounds. + </p> + <p> + STRAMMFEST [taking the word from him]. You are I must say it—a + prisoner. What am I to do with you? + </p> + <p> + THE GRAND DUCHESS. You should have thought of that before you arrested + me. + </p> + <p> + STRAMMFEST. Come, come, prisoner! do you know what will happen to you if + you compel me to take a sterner tone with you? + </p> + <p> + THE GRAND DUCHESS. No. But I know what will happen to you. + </p> + <p> + STRAMAIFEST. Pray what, prisoner? + </p> + <p> + THE GLAND DUCHESS. Clergyman's sore throat. + </p> + <p> + Schneidekind splutters; drops a paper: and conceals his laughter under + the table. + </p> + <p> + STRAMMFEST [thunderously]. Lieutenant Schneidekind. + </p> + <p> + SCHNEIDEKIND [in a stifled voice]. Yes, Sir. [The table vibrates + visibly.] + </p> + <p> + STRAMMFEST. Come out of it, you fool: you're upsetting the ink. + </p> + <p> + Schneidekind emerges, red in the face with suppressed mirth. + </p> + <p> + STRAMMFEST. Why don't you laugh? Don't you appreciate Her Imperial + Highness's joke? + </p> + <p> + SCHNEIDEKIND [suddenly becoming solemn]. I don't want to, sir. + </p> + <p> + STRAMMFEST. Laugh at once, sir. I order you to laugh. + </p> + <p> + SCHNEIDEKIND [with a touch of temper]. I really can't, sir. [He sits + down decisively.] + </p> + <p> + STRAMMFEST [growling at him]. Yah! [He turns impressively to the Grand + Duchess.] Your Imperial Highness desires me to address you as comrade? + </p> + <p> + THE GRAND DUCHESS [rising and waving a red handkerchief]. Long live the + Revolution, comrade! + </p> + <p> + STRAMMFEST [rising and saluting]. Proletarians of all lands, unite. + Lieutenant Schneidekind, you will rise and sing the Marseillaise. + </p> + <p> + SCHNEIDEKIND [rising]. But I cannot, sir. I have no voice, no ear. + </p> + <p> + STRAMMFEST. Then sit down; and bury your shame in your typewriter. + [Schneidekind sits down.] Comrade Annajanska, you have eloped with a + young officer. + </p> + <p> + THE GRAND DUCHESS [astounded]. General Strammfest, you lie. + </p> + <p> + STRAMMFEST. Denial, comrade, is useless. It is through that officer that + your movements have been traced. [The Grand Duchess is suddenly + enlightened, and seems amused. Strammfest continues an a forensic + manner.] He joined you at the Golden Anchor in Hakonsburg. You gave us + the slip there; but the officer was traced to Potterdam, where you + rejoined him and went alone to Premsylople. What have you done with that + unhappy young man? Where is he? + </p> + <p> + THE GRAND DUCHESS [pretending to whisper an important secret]. Where he + has always been. + </p> + <p> + STRAMMFEST [eagerly]. Where is that? + </p> + <p> + THE GRAND DUCHESS [impetuously]. In your imagination. I came alone. I am + alone. Hundreds of officers travel every day from Hakonsburg to + Potterdam. What do I know about them? + </p> + <p> + STRAMMFEST. They travel in khaki. They do not travel in full dress court + uniform as this man did. + </p> + <p> + SCHNEIDEKIND. Only officers who are eloping with grand duchesses wear + court uniform: otherwise the grand duchesses could not be seen with + them. + </p> + <p> + STRAMMFEST. Hold your tongue. [Schneidekind, in high dudgeon, folds his + arms and retires from the conversation. The General returns to his paper + and to his examination of the Grand Duchess.] This officer travelled + with your passport. What have you to say to that? + </p> + <p> + THE GRAND DUCHESS. Bosh! How could a man travel with a woman's passport? + </p> + <p> + STRAMMFEST. It is quite simple, as you very well know. A dozen + travellers arrive at the boundary. The official collects their + passports. He counts twelve persons; then counts the passports. If there + are twelve, he is satisfied. + </p> + <p> + THE GRAND DUCHESS. Then how do you know that one of the passports was + mine? + </p> + <p> + STRAMMFEST. A waiter at the Potterdam Hotel looked at the officer's + passport when he was in his bath. It was your passport. + </p> + <p> + THE GRAND DUCHESS. Stuff! Why did he not have me arrested? + </p> + <p> + STRAMMFEST. When the waiter returned to the hotel with the police the + officer had vanished; and you were there with your own passport. They + knouted him. + </p> + <p> + THE GRAND DUCHESS. Oh! Strammfest, send these men away. I must speak to + you alone. + </p> + <p> + STRAMMFEST [rising in horror]. No: this is the last straw: I cannot + consent. It is impossible, utterly, eternally impossible, that a + daughter of the Imperial House should speak to any one alone, were it + even her own husband. + </p> + <p> + THE GRAND DUCHESS. You forget that there is an exception. She may speak + to a child alone. [She rises.] Strammfest, you have been dandled on my + grandmother's knee. By that gracious action the dowager Panjandrina made + you a child forever. So did Nature, by the way. I order you to speak to + me alone. Do you hear? I order you. For seven hundred years no member of + your family has ever disobeyed an order from a member of mine. Will you + disobey me? + </p> + <p> + STRAMMFEST. There is an alternative to obedience. The dead cannot + disobey. [He takes out his pistol and places the muzzle against his + temple.] + </p> + <p> + SCHNEIDEKIND [snatching the pistol from him]. For God's sake, General— + </p> + <p> + STRAMMFEST [attacking him furiously to recover the weapon]. Dog of a + subaltern, restore that pistol and my honor. + </p> + <p> + SCHNEIDEKIND [reaching out with the pistol to the Grand Duchess]. Take + it: quick: he is as strong as a bull. + </p> + <p> + THE GRAND DUCHESS [snatching it]. Aha! Leave the room, all of you except + the General. At the double! lightning! electricity! [She fires shot + after shot, spattering the bullets about the ankles of the soldiers. + They fly precipitately. She turns to Schneidekind, who has by this time + been flung on the floor by the General.] You too. [He scrambles up.] + March. [He flies to the door.] + </p> + <p> + SCHNEIDEKIND [turning at the door]. For your own sake, comrade— + </p> + <p> + THE GRAND DUCHESS [indignantly]. Comrade! You!!! Go. [She fires two more + shots. He vanishes.] + </p> + <p> + STRAMMFEST [making an impulsive movement towards her]. My Imperial + Mistress— + </p> + <p> + THE GRAND DUCHESS. Stop. I have one bullet left, if you attempt to take + this from me [putting the pistol to her temple]. + </p> + <p> + STRAMMFEST [recoiling, and covering his eyes with his hands]. No no: put + it down: put it down. I promise everything: I swear anything; but put it + down, I implore you. + </p> + <p> + THE GRAND DUCHESS [throwing it on the table]. There! + </p> + <p> + STRAMMFEST [uncovering his eyes]. Thank God! + </p> + <p> + THE GRAND DUCHESS [gently]. Strammfest: I am your comrade. Am I nothing + more to you? + </p> + <p> + STRAMMFEST [falling on his knee]. You are, God help me, all that is left + to me of the only power I recognize on earth [he kisses her hand]. + </p> + <p> + THE GRAND DUCHESS [indulgently]. Idolater! When will you learn that our + strength has never been in ourselves, but in your illusions about us? + [She shakes off her kindliness, and sits down in his chair.] Now tell + me, what are your orders? And do you mean to obey them? + </p> + <p> + STRAMMFEST [starting like a goaded ox, and blundering fretfully about + the room]. How can I obey six different dictators, and not one gentleman + among the lot of them? One of them orders me to make peace with the + foreign enemy. Another orders me to offer all the neutral countries 48 + hours to choose between adopting his views on the single tax and being + instantly invaded and annihilated. A third orders me to go to a damned + Socialist Conference and explain that Beotia will allow no annexations + and no indemnities, and merely wishes to establish the Kingdom of Heaven + on Earth throughout the universe. [He finishes behind Schneidekind's + chair.] + </p> + <p> + THE GRAND DUCHESS. Damn their trifling! + </p> + <p> + STRAMMFEST. I thank Your Imperial Highness from the bottom of my heart + for that expression. Europe thanks you. + </p> + <p> + THE GRAND DUCHESS. M'yes; but—[rising]. Strammfest, you know that + your cause—the cause of the dynasty—is lost. + </p> + <p> + STRAMMFEST. You must not say so. It is treason, even from you. [He + sinks, discouraged, into the chair, and covers his face with his hand.] + </p> + <p> + THE GRAND DUCHESS. Do not deceive yourself, General: never again will a + Panjandrum reign in Beotia. [She walks slowly across the room, brooding + bitterly, and thinking aloud.] We are so decayed, so out of date, so + feeble, so wicked in our own despite, that we have come at last to will + our own destruction. + </p> + <p> + STRAMMFEST. You are uttering blasphemy. + </p> + <p> + THE GRAND DUCHESS. All great truths begin as blasphemies. All the king's + horses and all the king's men cannot set up my father's throne again. If + they could, you would have done it, would you not? + </p> + <p> + STRAMMFEST. God knows I would! + </p> + <p> + THE GRAND DUCHESS. You really mean that? You would keep the people in + their hopeless squalid misery? you would fill those infamous prisons + again with the noblest spirits in the land? you would thrust the rising + sun of liberty back into the sea of blood from which it has risen? And + all because there was in the middle of the dirt and ugliness and horror + a little patch of court splendor in which you could stand with a few + orders on your uniform, and yawn day after day and night after night in + unspeakable boredom until your grave yawned wider still, and you fell + into it because you had nothing better to do. How can you be so stupid, + so heartless? + </p> + <p> + STRAMMFEST. You must be mad to think of royalty in such a way. I never + yawned at court. The dogs yawned; but that was because they were dogs: + they had no imagination, no ideals, no sense of honor and dignity to + sustain them. + </p> + <p> + THE GRAND DUCHESS. My poor Strammfest: you were not often enough at + court to tire of it. You were mostly soldiering; and when you came home + to have a new order pinned on your breast, your happiness came through + looking at my father and mother and at me, and adoring us. Was that not + so? + </p> + <p> + STRAMMFEST. Do YOU reproach me with it? I am not ashamed of it. + </p> + <p> + THE GRAND DUCHESS. Oh, it was all very well for you, Strammfest. But + think of me, of me! standing there for you to gape at, and knowing that + I was no goddess, but only a girl like any other girl! It was cruelty to + animals: you could have stuck up a wax doll or a golden calf to worship; + it would not have been bored. + </p> + <p> + STRAMMFEST. Stop; or I shall renounce my allegiance to you. I have had + women flogged for such seditious chatter as this. + </p> + <p> + THE GRAND DUCHESS. Do not provoke me to send a bullet through your head + for reminding me of it. + </p> + <p> + STRAMMFEST. You always had low tastes. You are no true daughter of the + Panjandrums: you are a changeling, thrust into the Panjandrina's bed by + some profligate nurse. I have heard stories of your childhood: of how— + </p> + <p> + THE GRAND DUCHESS. Ha, ha! Yes: they took me to the circus when I was a + child. It was my first moment of happiness, my first glimpse of heaven. + I ran away and joined the troupe. They caught me and dragged me back to + my gilded cage; but I had tasted freedom; and they never could make me + forget it. + </p> + <p> + STRAMMFEST. Freedom! To be the slave of an acrobat! to be exhibited to + the public! to— + </p> + <p> + THE GRAND DUCHESS. Oh, I was trained to that. I had learnt that part of + the business at court. + </p> + <p> + STRAMMFEST. You had not been taught to strip yourself half naked and + turn head over heels— + </p> + <p> + THE GRAND DUCHESS. Man, I WANTED to get rid of my swaddling clothes and + turn head over heels. I wanted to, I wanted to, I wanted to. I can do it + still. Shall I do it now? + </p> + <p> + STRAMMFEST. If you do, I swear I will throw myself from the window so + that I may meet your parents in heaven without having my medals torn + from my breast by them. + </p> + <p> + THE GRAND DUCHESS. Oh, you are incorrigible. You are mad, infatuated. + You will not believe that we royal divinities are mere common flesh and + blood even when we step down from our pedestals and tell you ourselves + what a fool you are. I will argue no more with you: I will use my power. + At a word from me your men will turn against you: already half of them + do not salute you; and you dare not punish them: you have to pretend not + to notice it. + </p> + <p> + STRAMMFEST. It is not for you to taunt me with that if it is so. + </p> + <p> + THE GRAND DUCHESS. [haughtily]. Taunt! I condescend to taunt! To taunt a + common General! You forget yourself, sir. + </p> + <p> + STRAMMFEST [dropping on his knee submissively]. Now at last you speak + like your royal self. + </p> + <p> + THE GRAND DUCHESS. Oh, Strammfest, Strammfest, they have driven your + slavery into your very bones. Why did you not spit in my face? + </p> + <p> + STRAMMFEST [rising with a shudder]. God forbid! + </p> + <p> + THE GRAND DUCHESS. Well, since you will be my slave, take your orders + from me. I have not come here to save our wretched family and our + bloodstained crown. I am come to save the Revolution. + </p> + <p> + STRAMMFEST. Stupid as I am, I have come to think that I had better save + that than save nothing. But what will the Revolution do for the people? + Do not be deceived by the fine speeches of the revolutionary leaders and + the pamphlets of the revolutionary writers. How much liberty is there + where they have gained the upper hand? Are they not hanging, shooting, + imprisoning as much as ever we did? Do they ever tell the people the + truth? No: if the truth does not suit them they spread lies instead, and + make it a crime to tell the truth. + </p> + <p> + THE GRAND DUCHESS. Of course they do. Why should they not? + </p> + <p> + STRAMMFEST [hardly able to believe his ears]. Why should they not? + </p> + <p> + THE GRAND DUCHESS. Yes: why should they not? We did it. You did it, whip + in hand: you flogged women for teaching children to read. + </p> + <p> + STRAMMFEST. To read sedition. To read Karl Marx. + </p> + <p> + THE GRAND DUCHESS. Pshaw! How could they learn to read the Bible without + learning to read Karl Marx? Why do you not stand to your guns and + justify what you did, instead of making silly excuses? Do you suppose I + think flogging a woman worse than flogging a man? I, who am a woman + myself! + </p> + <p> + STRAMMFEST. I am at a loss to understand your Imperial Highness. You + seem to me to contradict yourself. + </p> + <p> + THE GRAND DUCHESS. Nonsense! I say that if the people cannot govern + themselves, they must be governed by somebody. If they will not do their + duty without being half forced and half humbugged, somebody must force + them and humbug them. Some energetic and capable minority must always be + in power. Well, I am on the side of the energetic minority whose + principles I agree with. The Revolution is as cruel as we were; but its + aims are my aims. Therefore I stand for the Revolution. + </p> + <p> + STRAMMFEST. You do not know what you are saying. This is pure + Bolshevism. Are you, the daughter of a Panjandrum, a Bolshevist? + </p> + <p> + THE GRAND DUCHESS. I am anything that will make the world less like a + prison and more like a circus. + </p> + <p> + STRAMMFEST. Ah! You still want to be a circus star. + </p> + <p> + THE GRAND DUCHESS. Yes, and be billed as the Bolshevik Empress. Nothing + shall stop me. You have your orders, General Strammfest: save the + Revolution. + </p> + <p> + STRAMMFEST. What Revolution? Which Revolution? No two of your rabble of + revolutionists mean the same thing by the Revolution What can save a mob + in which every man is rushing in a different direction? + </p> + <p> + THE GRAND DUCHESS. I will tell you. The war can save it. + </p> + <p> + STRAMMFEST. The war? + </p> + <p> + THE GRAND DUCHESS. Yes, the war. Only a great common danger and a great + common duty can unite us and weld these wrangling factions into a solid + commonwealth. + </p> + <p> + STRAMMFEST. Bravo! War sets everything right: I have always said so. But + what is a united people without a united army? And what can I do? I am + only a soldier. I cannot make speeches: I have won no victories: they + will not rally to my call [again he sinks into his chair with his former + gesture of discouragement]. + </p> + <p> + THE GRAND DUCHESS. Are you sure they will not rally to mine? + </p> + <p> + STRAMMFEST. Oh, if only you were a man and a soldier! + </p> + <p> + THE GRAND DUCHESS. Suppose I find you a man and a soldier? + </p> + <p> + STRAMMFEST [rising in a fury]. Ah! the scoundrel you eloped with! You + think you will shove this fellow into an army command, over my head. + Never. + </p> + <p> + THE GRAND DUCHESS. You promised everything. You swore anything. [She + marches as if in front of a regiment.] I know that this man alone can + rouse the army to enthusiasm. + </p> + <p> + STRAMMFEST. Delusion! Folly! He is some circus acrobat; and you are in + love with him. + </p> + <p> + THE GRAND DUCHESS. I swear I am not in love with him. I swear I will + never marry him. + </p> + <p> + STRAMMFEST. Then who is he? + </p> + <p> + THE GRAND DUCHESS. Anybody in the world but you would have guessed long + ago. He is under your very eyes. + </p> + <p> + STRAMMFEST [staring past her right and left]. Where? + </p> + <p> + THE GRAND DUCHESS. Look out of the window. + </p> + <p> + He rushes to the window, looking for the officer. The Grand Duchess + takes off her cloak and appears in the uniform of the Panderobajensky + Hussars. + </p> + <p> + STRAMMFEST [peering through the window]. Where is he? I can see no one. + </p> + <p> + THE GRAND DUCHESS. Here, silly. + </p> + <p> + STRAMMFEST [turning]. You! Great Heavens! The Bolshevik Empress! + </p> + <br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Annajanska, the Bolshevik Empress, by +George Bernard Shaw + +*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK ANNAJANSKA, THE BOLSHEVIK EMPRESS *** + +***** This file should be named 3485-h.htm or 3485-h.zip ***** +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: + http://www.gutenberg.org/3/4/8/3485/ + +Produced by Eve Sobol, and David Widger + + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: Annajanska, the Bolshevik Empress + +Author: George Bernard Shaw + +Posting Date: January 15, 2009 [EBook #3485] +Release Date: October, 2002 + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ASCII + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK ANNAJANSKA, THE BOLSHEVIK EMPRESS *** + + + + +Produced by Eve Sobol + + + + + +ANNAJANSKA, THE BOLSHEVIK EMPRESS + + +By George Bernard Shaw + + +ANNAJANSKA is frankly a bravura piece. The modern variety theatre +demands for its "turns" little plays called sketches, to last twenty +minutes or so, and to enable some favorite performer to make a brief +but dazzling appearance on some barely passable dramatic pretext. Miss +Lillah McCarthy and I, as author and actress, have helped to make one +another famous on many serious occasions, from Man and Superman to +Androcles; and Mr Charles Ricketts has not disdained to snatch moments +from his painting and sculpture to design some wonderful dresses for us. +We three unbent as Mrs Siddons, Sir Joshua Reynolds and Dr Johnson might +have unbent, to devise a turn for the Coliseum variety theatre. Not +that we would set down the art of the variety theatre as something to be +condescended to, or our own art as elephantine. We should rather crave +indulgence as three novices fresh from the awful legitimacy of the +highbrow theatre. + +Well, Miss McCarthy and Mr Ricketts justified themselves easily in the +glamor of the footlights, to the strains of Tchaikovsky's 1812. I fear +I did not. I have received only one compliment on my share; and that was +from a friend who said, "It is the only one of your works that is not +too long." So I have made it a page or two longer, according to my own +precept: EMBRACE YOUR REPROACHES: THEY ARE OFTEN GLORIES IN DISGUISE. + +Annajanska was first performed at the Coliseum Theatre in London on the +21st January, 1918, with Lillah McCarthy as the Grand Duchess, Henry +Miller as Schneidekind, and Randle Ayrton as General Strammfest. + + + + +ANNAJANSKA, THE BOLSHEVIK EMPRESS + +The General's office in a military station on the east front in Beotia. +An office table with a telephone, writing materials, official papers, +etc., is set across the room. At the end of the table, a comfortable +chair for the General. Behind the chair, a window. Facing it at the +other end of the table, a plain wooden bench. At the side of the table, +with its back to the door, a common chair, with a typewriter before it. +Beside the door, which is opposite the end of the bench, a rack for caps +and coats. There is nobody in the room. + +General Strammfest enters, followed by Lieutenant Schneidekind. They +hang up their cloaks and caps. Schneidekind takes a little longer than +Strammfest, who comes to the table. + +STRAMMFEST. Schneidekind. + +SCHNEIDEKIND. Yes, sir. + +STRAMMFEST. Have you sent my report yet to the government? [He sits +down.] + +SCHNEIDEKIND [coming to the table]. Not yet, sir. Which government do +you wish it sent to? [He sits down.] + +STRAMMFEST. That depends. What's the latest? Which of them do you think +is most likely to be in power tomorrow morning? + +SCHNEIDEKIND. Well, the provisional government was going strong +yesterday. But today they say that the Prime Minister has shot himself, +and that the extreme left fellow has shot all the others. + +STRAMMFEST. Yes: that's all very well; but these fellows always shoot +themselves with blank cartridge. + +SCHNEIDEKIND. Still, even the blank cartridge means backing down. I +should send the report to the Maximilianists. + +STRAMMFEST. They're no stronger than the Oppidoshavians; and in my own +opinion the Moderate Red Revolutionaries are as likely to come out on +top as either of them. + +SCHNEIDEKIND. I can easily put a few carbon sheets in the typewriter and +send a copy each to the lot. + +STRAMMFEST. Waste of paper. You might as well send reports to an infant +school. [He throws his head on the table with a groan.] + +SCHNEIDEKIND. Tired out, Sir? + +STRAMMFEST. O Schneidekind, Schneidekind, how can you bear to live? + +SCHNEIDEKIND. At my age, sir, I ask myself how can I bear to die? + +STRAMMFEST. You are young, young and heartless. You are excited by the +revolution: you are attached to abstract things like liberty. But +my family has served the Panjandrums of Beotia faithfully for seven +centuries. The Panjandrums have kept our place for us at their courts, +honored us, promoted us, shed their glory on us, made us what we +are. When I hear you young men declaring that you are fighting for +civilization, for democracy, for the overthrow of militarism, I ask +myself how can a man shed his blood for empty words used by vulgar +tradesmen and common laborers: mere wind and stink. [He rises, exalted +by his theme.] A king is a splendid reality, a man raised above us like +a god. You can see him; you can kiss his hand; you can be cheered by his +smile and terrified by his frown. I would have died for my Panjandrum +as my father died for his father. Your toiling millions were only too +honored to receive the toes of our boots in the proper spot for them +when they displeased their betters. And now what is left in life for me? +[He relapses into his chair discouraged.] My Panjandrum is deposed and +transported to herd with convicts. The army, his pride and glory, is +paraded to hear seditious speeches from penniless rebels, with the +colonel actually forced to take the chair and introduce the speaker. +I myself am made Commander-in-Chief by my own solicitor: a Jew, +Schneidekind! a Hebrew Jew! It seems only yesterday that these things +would have been the ravings of a madman: today they are the commonplaces +of the gutter press. I live now for three objects only: to defeat the +enemy, to restore the Panjandrum, and to hang my solicitor. + +SCHNEIDEKIND. Be careful, sir: these are dangerous views to utter +nowadays. What if I were to betray you? + +STRAMMFEST. What! + +SCHNEIDEKIND. I won't, of course: my own father goes on just like that; +but suppose I did? + +STRAMMFEST [chuckling]. I should accuse you of treason to the +Revolution, my lad; and they would immediately shoot you, unless you +cried and asked to see your mother before you died, when they would +probably change their minds and make you a brigadier. Enough. [He rises +and expands his chest.] I feel the better for letting myself go. To +business. [He takes up a telegram: opens it: and is thunderstruck by its +contents.] Great heaven! [He collapses into his chair.] This is the worst +blow of all. + +SCHNEIDEKIND. What has happened? Are we beaten? + +STRAMMFEST. Man, do you think that a mere defeat could strike me down as +this news does: I, who have been defeated thirteen times since the war +began? O, my master, my master, my Panjandrum! [he is convulsed with +sobs.] + +SCHNEIDEKIND. They have killed him? + +STRAMMFEST. A dagger has been struck through his heart-- + +SCHNEIDEKIND. Good God! + +STRAMMFEST. --and through mine, through mine. + +SCHNEIDEKIND [relieved]. Oh, a metaphorical dagger! I thought you meant +a real one. What has happened? + +STRAMMFEST. His daughter the Grand Duchess Annajanska, she whom the +Panjandrina loved beyond all her other children, has--has-- [he cannot +finish.] + +SCHNEIDEKIND. Committed suicide? + +STRAMMFEST. No. Better if she had. Oh, far far better. + +SCHNEIDEKIND [in hushed tones]. Left the Church? + +STRAMMFEST [shocked]. Certainly not. Do not blaspheme, young man. + +SCHNEIDEKIND. Asked for the vote? + +STRAMMFEST. I would have given it to her with both hands to save her +from this. + +SCHNEIDEKIND. Save her from what? Dash it, sir, out with it. + +STRAMMFEST. She has joined the Revolution. + +SCHNEIDEKIND. But so have you, sir. We've all joined the Revolution. She +doesn't mean it any more than we do. + +STRAMMFEST. Heaven grant you may be right! But that is not the worst. +She had eloped with a young officer. Eloped, Schneidekind, eloped! + +SCHNEIDEKIND [not particularly impressed]. Yes, Sir. + +STRAMMFEST. Annajanska, the beautiful, the innocent, my master's +daughter! [He buries his face in his hands.] + +The telephone rings. + +SCHNEIDEKIND [taking the receiver]. Yes: G.H.Q. Yes... Don't bawl: I'm +not a general. Who is it speaking?... Why didn't you say so? don't you +know your duty? Next time you will lose your stripe... Oh, they've made +you a colonel, have they? Well, they've made me a field-marshal: now +what have you to say?... Look here: what did you ring up for? I can't +spend the day here listening to your cheek... What! the Grand Duchess +[Strammfest starts.] Where did you catch her? + +STRAMMFEST [snatching the telephone and listening for the answer]. +Speak louder, will you: I am a General I know that, you dolt. Have you +captured the officer that was with her?... Damnation! You shall answer +for this: you let him go: he bribed you. You must have seen him: +the fellow is in the full dress court uniform of the Panderobajensky +Hussars. I give you twelve hours to catch him or... what's that you say +about the devil? Are you swearing at me, you... Thousand thunders! +[To Schneidekind.] The swine says that the Grand Duchess is a devil +incarnate. [Into the telephone.] Filthy traitor: is that the way you +dare speak of the daughter of our anointed Panjandrum? I'll-- + +SCHNEIDEKIND [pulling the telephone from his lips]. Take care, sir. + +STRAMMFEST. I won't take care: I'll have him shot. Let go that +telephone. + +SCHNEIDEKIND. But for her own sake, sir-- + +STRAMMFEST. Eh?-- + +SCHNEIDEKIND. For her own sake they had better send her here. She will +be safe in your hands. + +STRAMMFEST [yielding the receiver]. You are right. Be civil to him. I +should choke [he sits down]. + +SCHNEIDEKIND [into the telephone]. Hullo. Never mind all that: it's only +a fellow here who has been fooling with the telephone. I had to leave +the room for a moment. Wash out: and send the girl along. We'll jolly +soon teach her to behave herself here... Oh, you've sent her already. +Then why the devil didn't you say so, you--[he hangs up the telephone +angrily]. Just fancy: they started her off this morning: and all this is +because the fellow likes to get on the telephone and hear himself talk +now that he is a colonel. [The telephone rings again. He snatches the +receiver furiously.] What's the matter now?... [To the General.] It's our +own people downstairs. [Into the receiver.] Here! do you suppose I've +nothing else to do than to hang on to the telephone all day?... What's +that? Not men enough to hold her! What do you mean? [To the General.] +She is there, sir. + +STRAMMFEST. Tell them to send her up. I shall have to receive her +without even rising, without kissing her hand, to keep up appearances +before the escort. It will break my heart. + +SCHNEIDEKIND [into the receiver]. Send her up... Tcha! [He hangs up the +receiver.] He says she is halfway up already: they couldn't hold her. + +The Grand Duchess bursts into the room, dragging with her two exhausted +soldiers hanging on desperately to her arms. She is enveloped from head +to foot by a fur-lined cloak, and wears a fur cap. + +SCHNEIDEKIND [pointing to the bench]. At the word Go, place your +prisoner on the bench in a sitting posture; and take your seats right +and left of her. Go. + +The two soldiers make a supreme effort to force her to sit down. She +flings them back so that they are forced to sit on the bench to save +themselves from falling backwards over it, and is herself dragged into +sitting between them. The second soldier, holding on tight to the Grand +Duchess with one hand, produces papers with the other, and waves them +towards Schneidekind, who takes them from him and passes them on to the +General. He opens them and reads them with a grave expression. + +SCHNEIDEKIND. Be good enough to wait, prisoner, until the General has +read the papers on your case. + +THE GRAND DUCHESS [to the soldiers]. Let go. [To Strammfest]. Tell them +to let go, or I'll upset the bench backwards and bash our three heads on +the floor. + +FIRST SOLDIER. No, little mother. Have mercy on the poor. + +STRAMMFEST [growling over the edge of the paper he is reading]. Hold +your tongue. + +THE GRAND DUCHESS [blazing]. Me, or the soldier? + +STRAMMFEST [horrified]. The soldier, madam. + +THE GRAND DUCHESS. Tell him to let go. + +STRAMMFEST. Release the lady. + +The soldiers take their hands off her. One of them wipes his fevered +brow. The other sucks his wrist. + +SCHNEIDKIND [fiercely]. 'ttention! + +The two soldiers sit up stiffly. + +THE GRAND DUCHESS. Oh, let the poor man suck his wrist. It may be +poisoned. I bit it. + +STRAMMFEST [shocked]. You bit a common soldier! + +GRAND DUCHESS. Well, I offered to cauterize it with the poker in the +office stove. But he was afraid. What more could I do? + +SCHNEIDEKIND. Why did you bite him, prisoner? + +THE GRAND DUCHESS. He would not let go. + +STRAMMFEST. Did he let go when you bit him? + +THE GRAND DUCHESS. No. [Patting the soldier on the back]. You should +give the man a cross for his devotion. I could not go on eating him; so +I brought him along with me. + +STRAMMFEST. Prisoner-- + +THE GRAND DUCHESS. Don't call me prisoner, General Strammfest. My +grandmother dandled you on her knee. + +STRAMMFEST [bursting into tears]. O God, yes. Believe me, my heart is +what it was then. + +THE GRAND DUCHESS. Your brain also is what it was then. I will not be +addressed by you as prisoner. + +STRAMMFEST. I may not, for your own sake, call you by your rightful and +most sacred titles. What am I to call you? + +THE GRAND DUCHESS. The Revolution has made us comrades. Call me comrade. + +STRAMMFEST. I had rather die. + +THE GRAND DUCHESS. Then call me Annajanska; and I will call you Peter +Piper, as grandmamma did. + +STRAMMFEST [painfully agitated]. Schneidekind, you must speak to her: I +cannot--[he breaks down.] + +SCHNEIDEKIND [officially]. The Republic of Beotia has been compelled +to confine the Panjandrum and his family, for their own safety, within +certain bounds. You have broken those bounds. + +STRAMMFEST [taking the word from him]. You are I must say it--a +prisoner. What am I to do with you? + +THE GRAND DUCHESS. You should have thought of that before you arrested +me. + +STRAMMFEST. Come, come, prisoner! do you know what will happen to you if +you compel me to take a sterner tone with you? + +THE GRAND DUCHESS. No. But I know what will happen to you. + +STRAMAIFEST. Pray what, prisoner? + +THE GLAND DUCHESS. Clergyman's sore throat. + +Schneidekind splutters; drops a paper: and conceals his laughter under +the table. + +STRAMMFEST [thunderously]. Lieutenant Schneidekind. + +SCHNEIDEKIND [in a stifled voice]. Yes, Sir. [The table vibrates +visibly.] + +STRAMMFEST. Come out of it, you fool: you're upsetting the ink. + +Schneidekind emerges, red in the face with suppressed mirth. + +STRAMMFEST. Why don't you laugh? Don't you appreciate Her Imperial +Highness's joke? + +SCHNEIDEKIND [suddenly becoming solemn]. I don't want to, sir. + +STRAMMFEST. Laugh at once, sir. I order you to laugh. + +SCHNEIDEKIND [with a touch of temper]. I really can't, sir. [He sits +down decisively.] + +STRAMMFEST [growling at him]. Yah! [He turns impressively to the Grand +Duchess.] Your Imperial Highness desires me to address you as comrade? + +THE GRAND DUCHESS [rising and waving a red handkerchief]. Long live the +Revolution, comrade! + +STRAMMFEST [rising and saluting]. Proletarians of all lands, unite. +Lieutenant Schneidekind, you will rise and sing the Marseillaise. + +SCHNEIDEKIND [rising]. But I cannot, sir. I have no voice, no ear. + +STRAMMFEST. Then sit down; and bury your shame in your typewriter. +[Schneidekind sits down.] Comrade Annajanska, you have eloped with a +young officer. + +THE GRAND DUCHESS [astounded]. General Strammfest, you lie. + +STRAMMFEST. Denial, comrade, is useless. It is through that officer +that your movements have been traced. [The Grand Duchess is suddenly +enlightened, and seems amused. Strammfest continues an a forensic +manner.] He joined you at the Golden Anchor in Hakonsburg. You gave +us the slip there; but the officer was traced to Potterdam, where you +rejoined him and went alone to Premsylople. What have you done with that +unhappy young man? Where is he? + +THE GRAND DUCHESS [pretending to whisper an important secret]. Where he +has always been. + +STRAMMFEST [eagerly]. Where is that? + +THE GRAND DUCHESS [impetuously]. In your imagination. I came alone. I +am alone. Hundreds of officers travel every day from Hakonsburg to +Potterdam. What do I know about them? + +STRAMMFEST. They travel in khaki. They do not travel in full dress court +uniform as this man did. + +SCHNEIDEKIND. Only officers who are eloping with grand duchesses wear +court uniform: otherwise the grand duchesses could not be seen with +them. + +STRAMMFEST. Hold your tongue. [Schneidekind, in high dudgeon, folds his +arms and retires from the conversation. The General returns to his paper +and to his examination of the Grand Duchess.] This officer travelled +with your passport. What have you to say to that? + +THE GRAND DUCHESS. Bosh! How could a man travel with a woman's passport? + +STRAMMFEST. It is quite simple, as you very well know. A dozen +travellers arrive at the boundary. The official collects their +passports. He counts twelve persons; then counts the passports. If there +are twelve, he is satisfied. + +THE GRAND DUCHESS. Then how do you know that one of the passports was +mine? + +STRAMMFEST. A waiter at the Potterdam Hotel looked at the officer's +passport when he was in his bath. It was your passport. + +THE GRAND DUCHESS. Stuff! Why did he not have me arrested? + +STRAMMFEST. When the waiter returned to the hotel with the police the +officer had vanished; and you were there with your own passport. They +knouted him. + +THE GRAND DUCHESS. Oh! Strammfest, send these men away. I must speak to +you alone. + +STRAMMFEST [rising in horror]. No: this is the last straw: I cannot +consent. It is impossible, utterly, eternally impossible, that a +daughter of the Imperial House should speak to any one alone, were it +even her own husband. + +THE GRAND DUCHESS. You forget that there is an exception. She may speak +to a child alone. [She rises.] Strammfest, you have been dandled on my +grandmother's knee. By that gracious action the dowager Panjandrina made +you a child forever. So did Nature, by the way. I order you to speak to +me alone. Do you hear? I order you. For seven hundred years no member of +your family has ever disobeyed an order from a member of mine. Will you +disobey me? + +STRAMMFEST. There is an alternative to obedience. The dead cannot +disobey. [He takes out his pistol and places the muzzle against his +temple.] + +SCHNEIDEKIND [snatching the pistol from him]. For God's sake, General-- + +STRAMMFEST [attacking him furiously to recover the weapon]. Dog of a +subaltern, restore that pistol and my honor. + +SCHNEIDEKIND [reaching out with the pistol to the Grand Duchess]. Take +it: quick: he is as strong as a bull. + +THE GRAND DUCHESS [snatching it]. Aha! Leave the room, all of you except +the General. At the double! lightning! electricity! [She fires shot +after shot, spattering the bullets about the ankles of the soldiers. +They fly precipitately. She turns to Schneidekind, who has by this time +been flung on the floor by the General.] You too. [He scrambles up.] +March. [He flies to the door.] + +SCHNEIDEKIND [turning at the door]. For your own sake, comrade-- + +THE GRAND DUCHESS [indignantly]. Comrade! You!!! Go. [She fires two more +shots. He vanishes.] + +STRAMMFEST [making an impulsive movement towards her]. My Imperial +Mistress-- + +THE GRAND DUCHESS. Stop. I have one bullet left, if you attempt to take +this from me [putting the pistol to her temple]. + +STRAMMFEST [recoiling, and covering his eyes with his hands]. No no: put +it down: put it down. I promise everything: I swear anything; but put it +down, I implore you. + +THE GRAND DUCHESS [throwing it on the table]. There! + +STRAMMFEST [uncovering his eyes]. Thank God! + +THE GRAND DUCHESS [gently]. Strammfest: I am your comrade. Am I nothing +more to you? + +STRAMMFEST [falling on his knee]. You are, God help me, all that is left +to me of the only power I recognize on earth [he kisses her hand]. + +THE GRAND DUCHESS [indulgently]. Idolater! When will you learn that our +strength has never been in ourselves, but in your illusions about us? +[She shakes off her kindliness, and sits down in his chair.] Now tell +me, what are your orders? And do you mean to obey them? + +STRAMMFEST [starting like a goaded ox, and blundering fretfully about +the room]. How can I obey six different dictators, and not one gentleman +among the lot of them? One of them orders me to make peace with the +foreign enemy. Another orders me to offer all the neutral countries 48 +hours to choose between adopting his views on the single tax and being +instantly invaded and annihilated. A third orders me to go to a damned +Socialist Conference and explain that Beotia will allow no annexations +and no indemnities, and merely wishes to establish the Kingdom of Heaven +on Earth throughout the universe. [He finishes behind Schneidekind's +chair.] + +THE GRAND DUCHESS. Damn their trifling! + +STRAMMFEST. I thank Your Imperial Highness from the bottom of my heart +for that expression. Europe thanks you. + +THE GRAND DUCHESS. M'yes; but--[rising]. Strammfest, you know that your +cause--the cause of the dynasty--is lost. + +STRAMMFEST. You must not say so. It is treason, even from you. [He +sinks, discouraged, into the chair, and covers his face with his hand.] + +THE GRAND DUCHESS. Do not deceive yourself, General: never again will a +Panjandrum reign in Beotia. [She walks slowly across the room, brooding +bitterly, and thinking aloud.] We are so decayed, so out of date, so +feeble, so wicked in our own despite, that we have come at last to will +our own destruction. + +STRAMMFEST. You are uttering blasphemy. + +THE GRAND DUCHESS. All great truths begin as blasphemies. All the king's +horses and all the king's men cannot set up my father's throne again. If +they could, you would have done it, would you not? + +STRAMMFEST. God knows I would! + +THE GRAND DUCHESS. You really mean that? You would keep the people in +their hopeless squalid misery? you would fill those infamous prisons +again with the noblest spirits in the land? you would thrust the rising +sun of liberty back into the sea of blood from which it has risen? And +all because there was in the middle of the dirt and ugliness and horror +a little patch of court splendor in which you could stand with a few +orders on your uniform, and yawn day after day and night after night in +unspeakable boredom until your grave yawned wider still, and you fell +into it because you had nothing better to do. How can you be so stupid, +so heartless? + +STRAMMFEST. You must be mad to think of royalty in such a way. I never +yawned at court. The dogs yawned; but that was because they were dogs: +they had no imagination, no ideals, no sense of honor and dignity to +sustain them. + +THE GRAND DUCHESS. My poor Strammfest: you were not often enough at +court to tire of it. You were mostly soldiering; and when you came home +to have a new order pinned on your breast, your happiness came through +looking at my father and mother and at me, and adoring us. Was that not +so? + +STRAMMFEST. Do YOU reproach me with it? I am not ashamed of it. + +THE GRAND DUCHESS. Oh, it was all very well for you, Strammfest. But +think of me, of me! standing there for you to gape at, and knowing that +I was no goddess, but only a girl like any other girl! It was cruelty to +animals: you could have stuck up a wax doll or a golden calf to worship; +it would not have been bored. + +STRAMMFEST. Stop; or I shall renounce my allegiance to you. I have had +women flogged for such seditious chatter as this. + +THE GRAND DUCHESS. Do not provoke me to send a bullet through your head +for reminding me of it. + +STRAMMFEST. You always had low tastes. You are no true daughter of the +Panjandrums: you are a changeling, thrust into the Panjandrina's bed by +some profligate nurse. I have heard stories of your childhood: of how-- + +THE GRAND DUCHESS. Ha, ha! Yes: they took me to the circus when I was a +child. It was my first moment of happiness, my first glimpse of heaven. +I ran away and joined the troupe. They caught me and dragged me back to +my gilded cage; but I had tasted freedom; and they never could make me +forget it. + +STRAMMFEST. Freedom! To be the slave of an acrobat! to be exhibited to +the public! to-- + +THE GRAND DUCHESS. Oh, I was trained to that. I had learnt that part of +the business at court. + +STRAMMFEST. You had not been taught to strip yourself half naked and +turn head over heels-- + +THE GRAND DUCHESS. Man, I WANTED to get rid of my swaddling clothes and +turn head over heels. I wanted to, I wanted to, I wanted to. I can do it +still. Shall I do it now? + +STRAMMFEST. If you do, I swear I will throw myself from the window so +that I may meet your parents in heaven without having my medals torn +from my breast by them. + +THE GRAND DUCHESS. Oh, you are incorrigible. You are mad, infatuated. +You will not believe that we royal divinities are mere common flesh and +blood even when we step down from our pedestals and tell you ourselves +what a fool you are. I will argue no more with you: I will use my power. +At a word from me your men will turn against you: already half of them +do not salute you; and you dare not punish them: you have to pretend not +to notice it. + +STRAMMFEST. It is not for you to taunt me with that if it is so. + +THE GRAND DUCHESS. [haughtily]. Taunt! I condescend to taunt! To taunt a +common General! You forget yourself, sir. + +STRAMMFEST [dropping on his knee submissively]. Now at last you speak +like your royal self. + +THE GRAND DUCHESS. Oh, Strammfest, Strammfest, they have driven your +slavery into your very bones. Why did you not spit in my face? + +STRAMMFEST [rising with a shudder]. God forbid! + +THE GRAND DUCHESS. Well, since you will be my slave, take your orders +from me. I have not come here to save our wretched family and our +bloodstained crown. I am come to save the Revolution. + +STRAMMFEST. Stupid as I am, I have come to think that I had better save +that than save nothing. But what will the Revolution do for the people? +Do not be deceived by the fine speeches of the revolutionary leaders and +the pamphlets of the revolutionary writers. How much liberty is there +where they have gained the upper hand? Are they not hanging, shooting, +imprisoning as much as ever we did? Do they ever tell the people the +truth? No: if the truth does not suit them they spread lies instead, and +make it a crime to tell the truth. + +THE GRAND DUCHESS. Of course they do. Why should they not? + +STRAMMFEST [hardly able to believe his ears]. Why should they not? + +THE GRAND DUCHESS. Yes: why should they not? We did it. You did it, whip +in hand: you flogged women for teaching children to read. + +STRAMMFEST. To read sedition. To read Karl Marx. + +THE GRAND DUCHESS. Pshaw! How could they learn to read the Bible without +learning to read Karl Marx? Why do you not stand to your guns and +justify what you did, instead of making silly excuses? Do you suppose +I think flogging a woman worse than flogging a man? I, who am a woman +myself! + +STRAMMFEST. I am at a loss to understand your Imperial Highness. You +seem to me to contradict yourself. + +THE GRAND DUCHESS. Nonsense! I say that if the people cannot govern +themselves, they must be governed by somebody. If they will not do their +duty without being half forced and half humbugged, somebody must force +them and humbug them. Some energetic and capable minority must always +be in power. Well, I am on the side of the energetic minority whose +principles I agree with. The Revolution is as cruel as we were; but its +aims are my aims. Therefore I stand for the Revolution. + +STRAMMFEST. You do not know what you are saying. This is pure +Bolshevism. Are you, the daughter of a Panjandrum, a Bolshevist? + +THE GRAND DUCHESS. I am anything that will make the world less like a +prison and more like a circus. + +STRAMMFEST. Ah! You still want to be a circus star. + +THE GRAND DUCHESS. Yes, and be billed as the Bolshevik Empress. Nothing +shall stop me. You have your orders, General Strammfest: save the +Revolution. + +STRAMMFEST. What Revolution? Which Revolution? No two of your rabble of +revolutionists mean the same thing by the Revolution What can save a mob +in which every man is rushing in a different direction? + +THE GRAND DUCHESS. I will tell you. The war can save it. + +STRAMMFEST. The war? + +THE GRAND DUCHESS. Yes, the war. Only a great common danger and a great +common duty can unite us and weld these wrangling factions into a solid +commonwealth. + +STRAMMFEST. Bravo! War sets everything right: I have always said so. But +what is a united people without a united army? And what can I do? I am +only a soldier. I cannot make speeches: I have won no victories: they +will not rally to my call [again he sinks into his chair with his former +gesture of discouragement]. + +THE GRAND DUCHESS. Are you sure they will not rally to mine? + +STRAMMFEST. Oh, if only you were a man and a soldier! + +THE GRAND DUCHESS. Suppose I find you a man and a soldier? + +STRAMMFEST [rising in a fury]. Ah! the scoundrel you eloped with! You +think you will shove this fellow into an army command, over my head. +Never. + +THE GRAND DUCHESS. You promised everything. You swore anything. [She +marches as if in front of a regiment.] I know that this man alone can +rouse the army to enthusiasm. + +STRAMMFEST. Delusion! Folly! He is some circus acrobat; and you are in +love with him. + +THE GRAND DUCHESS. I swear I am not in love with him. I swear I will +never marry him. + +STRAMMFEST. Then who is he? + +THE GRAND DUCHESS. Anybody in the world but you would have guessed long +ago. He is under your very eyes. + +STRAMMFEST [staring past her right and left]. Where? + +THE GRAND DUCHESS. Look out of the window. + +He rushes to the window, looking for the officer. The Grand Duchess +takes off her cloak and appears in the uniform of the Panderobajensky +Hussars. + +STRAMMFEST [peering through the window]. Where is he? I can see no one. + +THE GRAND DUCHESS. Here, silly. + +STRAMMFEST [turning]. You! Great Heavens! The Bolshevik Empress! + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Annajanska, the Bolshevik Empress, by +George Bernard Shaw + +*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK ANNAJANSKA, THE BOLSHEVIK EMPRESS *** + +***** This file should be named 3485.txt or 3485.zip ***** +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: + http://www.gutenberg.org/3/4/8/3485/ + +Produced by Eve Sobol + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. Special rules, +set forth in the General Terms of Use part of this license, apply to +copying and distributing Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works to +protect the PROJECT GUTENBERG-tm concept and trademark. 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FOR PUBLIC DOMAIN ETEXTS*Ver.04.08.01*END** +[Portions of this header are copyright (C) 2001 by Michael S. Hart +and may be reprinted only when these Etexts are free of all fees.] +[Project Gutenberg is a TradeMark and may not be used in any sales +of Project Gutenberg Etexts or other materials be they hardware or +software or any other related product without express permission.] + + + + + +This etext was produced by Dudley P. Duck. + + + + + + + +This etext was produced by Eve Sobol, South Bend, Indiana, USA + +ANNAJANSKA, THE BOLSHEVIK EMPRESS + + +GEORGE BERNARD SHAW + + +ANNAJANSKA is frankly a bravura piece. The modern variety theatre +demands for its "turns" little plays called sketches, to last +twenty minutes or so, and to enable some favorite performer to +make a brief but dazzling appearance on some barely passable +dramatic pretext. Miss Lillah McCarthy and I, as author and +actress, have helped to make one another famous on many serious +occasions, from Man and Superman to Androcles; and Mr Charles +Ricketts has not disdained to snatch moments from his painting +and sculpture to design some wonderful dresses for us. We three +unbent as Mrs Siddons, Sir Joshua Reynolds and Dr Johnson might +have unbent, to devise a turn for the Coliseum variety theatre. +Not that we would set down the art of the variety theatre as +something to be condescended to, or our own art as elephantine. +We should rather crave indulgence as three novices fresh from the +awful legitimacy of the highbrow theatre. + +Well, Miss McCarthy and Mr Ricketts justified themselves easily +in the glamor of the footlights, to the strains of Tchaikovsky's +1812. I fear I did not. I have received only one compliment on my +share; and that was from a friend who said, "It is the only one +of your works that is not too long." So I have made it a page or +two longer, according to my own precept: EMBRACE YOUR REPROACHES: +THEY ARE OFTEN GLORIES IN DISGUISE. + +Annajanska was first performed at the Coliseum Theatre in +London on the 21st January, 1918, with Lillah McCarthy as +the Grand Duchess, Henry Miller as Schneidekind, and Randle +Ayrton as General Strammfest. + + + +ANNAJANSKA, THE BOLSHEVIK EMPRESS + +The General's office in a military station on the east front in +Beotia. An office table with a telephone, writing materials, +official papers, etc., is set across the room. At the end of the +table, a comfortable chair for the General. Behind the chair, a +window. Facing it at the other end of the table, a plain wooden +bench. At the side of the table, with its back to the door, a +common chair, with a typewriter before it. Beside the door, which +is opposite the end of the bench, a rack for caps and coats. +There is nobody in the room. + +General Strammfest enters, followed by Lieutenant Schneidekind. +They hang up their cloaks and caps. Schneidekind takes a little +longer than Strammfest, who comes to the table. + +STRAMMFEST. Schneidekind. + +SCHNEIDEKIND. Yes, sir. + +STRAMMFEST. Have you sent my report yet to the government? [He +sits down.] + +SCHNEIDEKIND [coming to the table]. Not yet, sir. Which +government do you wish it sent to? [He sits down.] + +STRAMMFEST. That depends. What's the latest? Which of them do you +think is most likely to be in power tomorrow morning? + +SCHNEIDEKIND. Well, the provisional government was going strong +yesterday. But today they say that the Prime Minister has shot +himself, and that the extreme left fellow has shot all the +others. + +STRAMMFEST. Yes: that's all very well; but these fellows always +shoot themselves with blank cartridge. + +SCHNEIDEKIND. Still, even the blank cartridge means backing down. +I should send the report to the Maximilianists. + +STRAMMFEST. They're no stronger than the Oppidoshavians; and in +my own opinion the Moderate Red Revolutionaries are as likely to +come out on top as either of them. + +SCHNEIDEKIND. I can easily put a few carbon sheets in the +typewriter and send a copy each to the lot. + +STRAMMFEST. Waste of paper. You might as well send reports to an +infant school. [He throws his head on the table with a groan.] + +SCHNEIDEKIND. Tired out, Sir? + +STRAMMFEST. O Schneidekind, Schneidekind, how can you bear to +live? + +SCHNEIDEKIND. At my age, sir, I ask myself how can I bear to die? + +STRAMMFEST. You are young, young and heartless. You are excited +by the revolution: you are attached to abstract things like +liberty. But my family has served the Panjandrums of Beotia +faithfully for seven centuries. The Panjandrums have kept our +place for us at their courts, honored us, promoted us, shed their +glory on us, made us what we are. When I hear you young men +declaring that you are fighting for civilization, for democracy, +for the overthrow of militarism, I ask myself how can a man shed +his blood for empty words used by vulgar tradesmen and common +laborers: mere wind and stink. [He rises, exalted by his theme.] +A king is a splendid reality, a man raised above us like a god. +You can see him; you can kiss his hand; you can be cheered by his +smile and terrified by his frown. I would have died for my +Panjandrum as my father died for his father. Your toiling +millions were only too honored to receive the toes of our boots +in the proper spot for them when they displeased their betters. +And now what is left in life for me? [He relapses into his chair +discouraged.] My Panjandrum is deposed and transported to herd +with convicts. The army, his pride and glory, is paraded to hear +seditious speeches from penniless rebels, with the colonel +actually forced to take the chair and introduce the speaker. I +myself am made Commander-in-Chief by my own solicitor: a Jew, +Schneidekind! a Hebrew Jew! It seems only yesterday that these +things would have been the ravings of a madman: today they are +the commonplaces of the gutter press. I live now for three +objects only: to defeat the enemy, to restore the Panjandrum, and +to hang my solicitor. + +SCHNEIDEKIND. Be careful, sir: these are dangerous views to utter +nowadays. What if I were to betray you? + +STRAMMFEST. What! + +SCHNEIDEKIND. I won't, of course: my own father goes on just like +that; but suppose I did? + +STRAMMFEST [chuckling]. I should accuse you of treason to the +Revolution, my lad; and they would immediately shoot you, unless +you cried and asked to see your mother before you died, when they +would probably change their minds and make you a brigadier. +Enough. [He rises and expands his chest.] I feel the better for +letting myself go. To business. [He takes up a telegram: opens +it: and is thunderstruck by its contents.] Great heaven! [He +collapses into his chair. This is the worst blow of all. + +SCHNEIDEKIND. What has happened? Are we beaten? + +STRAMMFEST. Man, do you think that a mere defeat could strike me +down as this news does: I, who have been defeated thirteen times +since the war began? O, my master, my master, my Panjandrum! [he +is convulsed with sobs.] + +SCHNEIDEKIND. They have killed him? + +STRAMMFEST. A dagger has been struck through his heart-- + +SCHNEIDEKIND. Good God! + +STRAMMFEST. --and through mine, through mine. + +SCHNEIDEKIND [relieved]. Oh, a metaphorical dagger! I thought you +meant a real one. What has happened? + +STRAMMFEST. His daughter the Grand Duchess Annajanska, she whom +the Panjandrina loved beyond all her other children, has--has-- +[he cannot finish.] + +SCHNEIDEKIND. Committed suicide? + +STRAMMFEST. No. Better if she had. Oh, far far better. + +SCHNEIDEKIND [in hushed tones]. Left the Church? + +STRAMMFEST [shocked]. Certainly not. Do not blaspheme, young man. + +SCHNEIDEKIND. Asked for the vote? + +STRAMMFEST. I would have given it to her with both hands to save +her from this. + +SCHNEIDEKIND. Save her from what? Dash it, sir, out with it. + +STRAMMFEST. She has joined the Revolution. + +SCHNEIDEKIND. But so have you, sir. We've all joined the +Revolution. She doesn't mean it any more than we do. + +STRAMMFEST. Heaven grant you may be right! But that is not the +worst. She had eloped with a young officer. Eloped, Schneidekind, +eloped! + +SCHNEIDEKIND [not particularly impressed]. Yes, Sir. + +STRAMMFEST. Annajanska, the beautiful, the innocent, my master's +daughter! [He buries his face in his hands.] + +The telephone rings. + +SCHNEIDEKIND [taking the receiver]. Yes: G.H.Q. Yes...Don't bawl: +I'm not a general. Who is it speaking?...Why didn't you say so? +don't you know your duty? Next time you will lose your +stripe...Oh, they've made you a colonel, have they? Well, they've +made me a field-marshal: now what have you to say?...Look here: +what did you ring up for? I can't spend the day here listening to +your cheek...What! the Grand Duchess [Strammfest starts.] Where +did you catch her? + +STRAMMFEST [snatching the telephone and listening for the +answer]. Speak louder, will you: I am a General I know that, you +dolt. Have you captured the officer that was with her?... +Damnation! You shall answer for this: you let him go: he bribed +you. You must have seen him: the fellow is in the full dress +court uniform of the Panderobajensky Hussars. I give you twelve +hours to catch him or...what's that you say about the devil? Are +you swearing at me, you...Thousand thunders! [To Schneidekind.] +The swine says that the Grand Duchess is a devil incarnate. [Into +the telephone.] Filthy traitor: is that the way you dare speak of +the daughter of our anointed Panjandrum? I'll-- + +SCHNEIDEKIND [pulling the telephone from his lips]. Take care, +sir. + +STRAMMFEST. I won't take care: I'll have him shot. Let go that +telephone. + +SCHNEIDEKIND. But for her own sake, sir-- + +STRAMMFEST. Eh?-- + +SCHNEIDEKIND. For her own sake they had better send her here. She +will be safe in your hands. + +STRAMMFEST [yielding the receiver]. You are right. Be civil to +him. I should choke [he sits down]. + +SCHNEIDEKIND [into the telephone]. Hullo. Never mind all that: +it's only a fellow here who has been fooling with the telephone. +I had to leave the room for a moment. Wash out: and send the girl +along. We'll jolly soon teach her to behave herself here...Oh, +you've sent her already. Then why the devil didn't you say so, +you--[he hangs up the telephone angrily]. Just fancy: they +started her off this morning: and all this is because the fellow +likes to get on the telephone and hear himself talk now that he +is a colonel. [The telephone rings again. He snatches the +receiver furiously.] What's the matter now?...[To the General.] +It's our own people downstairs. [Into the receiver.] Here! do you +suppose I've nothing else to do than to hang on to the telephone +all day?...What's that? Not men enough to hold her! What do you +mean? [To the General.] She is there, sir. + +STRAMMFEST. Tell them to send her up. I shall have to receive her +without even rising, without kissing her hand, to keep up +appearances before the escort. It will break my heart. + +SCHNEIDEKIND [into the receiver]. Send her up...Tcha! [He hangs +up the receiver.] He says she is halfway up already: they +couldn't hold her. + +The Grand Duchess bursts into the room, dragging with her two +exhausted soldiers hanging on desperately to her arms. She is +enveloped from head to foot by a fur-lined cloak, and wears a fur +cap. + +SCHNEIDEKIND [pointing to the bench]. At the word Go, place your +prisoner on the bench in a sitting posture; and take your seats +right and left of her. Go. + +The two soldiers make a supreme effort to force her to sit down. +She flings them back so that they are forced to sit on the bench +to save themselves from falling backwards over it, and is herself +dragged into sitting between them. The second soldier, holding on +tight to the Grand Duchess with one hand, produces papers with +the other, and waves them towards Schneidekind, who takes them +from him and passes them on to the General. He opens them and +reads them with a grave expression. + +SCHNEIDEKIN. Be good enough to wait, prisoner, until the General +has read the papers on your case. + +THE GRAND DUCHESS [to the soldiers]. Let go. [To Strammfest]. +Tell them to let go, or I'll upset the bench backwards and bash +our three heads on the floor. + +FIRST SOLDIER. No, little mother. Have mercy on the poor. + +STRAMMFEST [growling over the edge of the paper he is reading]. +Hold your tongue. + +THE GRAND DUCHESS [blazing]. Me, or the soldier? + +STRAMMFEST [horrified]. The soldier, madam. + +THE GRAND DUCHESS. Tell him to let go. + +STRAMMFEST. Release the lady. + +The soldiers take their hands off her. One of them wipes his +fevered brow. The other sucks his wrist. + +SCHNEIDKIND [fiercely]. 'ttention! + +The two soldiers sit up stiffly. + +THE GRAND DUCHESS. Oh, let the poor man suck his wrist. It may be +poisoned. I bit it. + +STRAMMFEST [shocked]. You bit a common soldier! + +GRAND DUCHESS. Well, I offered to cauterize it with the poker in +the office stove. But he was afraid. What more could I do? + +SCHNEIDEKIND. Why did you bite him, prisoner? + +THE GRAND DUCHESS. He would not let go. + +STRAMMFEST. Did he let go when you bit him? + +THE GRAND DUCHESS. No. [Patting the soldier on the back]. You +should give the man a cross for his devotion. I could not go on +eating him; so I brought him along with me. + +STRAMMFEST. Prisoner-- + +THE GRAND DUCHESS. Don't call me prisoner, General Strammfest. My +grandmother dandled you on her knee. + +STRAMMFEST [bursting into tears]. O God, yes. Believe me, my +heart is what it was then. + +THE GRAND DUCHESS. Your brain also is what it was then. I will +not be addressed by you as prisoner. + +STRAMMFEST. I may not, for your own sake, call you by your +rightful and most sacred titles. What am I to call you? + +THE GRAND DUCHESS. The Revolution has made us comrades. Call me +comrade. + +STRAMMFEST. I had rather die. + +THE GRAND DUCHESS. Then call me Annajanska; and I will call you +Peter Piper, as grandmamma did. + +STRAMMFEST [painfully agitated]. Schneidekind, you must speak to +her: I cannot--[he breaks down.] + +SCHNEIDEKIND [officially]. The Republic of Beotia has been +compelled to confine the Panjandrum and his family, for their own +safety, within certain bounds. You have broken those bounds. + +STRAMMFEST [taking the word from him]. You are I must say it--a +prisoner. What am I to do with you? + +THE GRAND DUCHESS. You should have thought of that before you +arrested me. + +STRAMMFEST. Come, come, prisoner! do you know what will happen to +you if you compel me to take a sterner tone with you? + +THE GRAND DUCHESS. No. But I know what will happen to you. + +STRAMAIFEST. Pray what, prisoner? + +THE GLAND DUCHESS. Clergyman's sore throat. + +Schneidekind splutters; drops a paper: and conceals his laughter +under the table. + +STRAMMFEST [thunderously]. Lieutenant Schneidekind. + +SCHNEIDEKIND [in a stifled voice]. Yes, Sir. [The table vibrates +visibly.] + +STRAMMFEST. Come out of it, you fool: you're upsetting the ink. + +Schneidekind emerges, red in the face with suppressed mirth. + +STRAMMFEST. Why don't you laugh? Don't you appreciate Her +Imperial Highness's joke? + +SCHNEIDEKIND [suddenly becoming solemn]. I don't want to, sir. + +STRAMMFEST. Laugh at once, sir. I order you to laugh. + +SCHNEIDEKIND [with a touch of temper]. I really can't, sir. [He +sits down decisively.] + +STRAMMFEST [growling at him]. Yah! [He turns impressively to the +Grand Duchess.] Your Imperial Highness desires me to address you +as comrade? + +THE GRAND DUCHESS [rising and waving a red handkerchief]. Long +live the Revolution, comrade! + +STRAMMFEST [rising and saluting]. Proletarians of all lands, +unite. Lieutenant Schneidekind, you will rise and sing the +Marseillaise. + +SCHNEIDEKIND [rising]. But I cannot, sir. I have no voice, no +ear. + +STRAMMFEST. Then sit down; and bury your shame in your +typewriter. [Schneidekind sits down.] Comrade Annajanska, you +have eloped with a young officer. + +THE GRAND DUCHESS [astounded]. General Strammfest, you lie. + +STRAMMFEST. Denial, comrade, is useless. It is through that +officer that your movements have been traced. [The Grand Duchess +is suddenly enlightened, and seems amused. Strammfest continues +an a forensic manner.] He joined you at the Golden Anchor in +Hakonsburg. You gave us the slip there; but the officer was +traced to Potterdam, where you rejoined him and went alone to +Premsylople. What have you done with that unhappy young man? +Where is he? + +THE GRAND DUCHESS [pretending to whisper an important secret]. +Where he has always been. + +STRAMMFEST [eagerly]. Where is that? + +THE GRAND DUCHESS [impetuously]. In your imagination. I came +alone. I am alone. Hundreds of officers travel every day from +Hakonsburg to Potterdam. What do I know about them? + +STRAMMFEST. They travel in khaki. They do not travel in full +dress court uniform as this man did. + +SCHNEIDEKIND. Only officers who are eloping with grand duchesses +wear court uniform: otherwise the grand duchesses could not be +seen with them. + +STRAMMFEST. Hold your tongue. [Schneidekind, in high dudgeon, +folds his arms and retires from the conversation. The General +returns to his paper and to his examination of the Grand +Duchess.] This officer travelled with your passport. What have +you to say to that? + +THE GRAND DUCHESS. Bosh! How could a man travel with a woman's +passport? + +STRAMMFEST. It is quite simple, as you very well know. A dozen +travellers arrive at the boundary. The official collects their +passports. He counts twelve persons; then counts the passports. +If there are twelve, he is satisfied. + +THE GRAND DUCHESS. Then how do you know that one of the passports +was mine? + +STRAMMFEST. A waiter at the Potterdam Hotel looked at the +officer's passport when he was in his bath. It was your passport. + +THE GRAND DUCHESS. Stuff! Why did he not have me arrested? + +STRAMMFEST. When the waiter returned to the hotel with the police +the officer had vanished; and you were there with your own +passport. They knouted him. + +THE GRAND DUCHESS. Oh! Strammfest, send these men away. I must +speak to you alone. + +STRAMMFEST [rising in horror]. No: this is the last straw: I +cannot consent. It is impossible, utterly, eternally impossible, +that a daughter of the Imperial House should speak to any one +alone, were it even her own husband. + +THE GRAND DUCHESS. You forget that there is an exception. She may +speak to a child alone. [She rises.] Strammfest, you have been +dandled on my grandmother's knee. By that gracious action the +dowager Panjandrina made you a child forever. So did Nature, by +the way. I order you to speak to me alone. Do you hear? I order +you. For seven hundred years no member of your family has ever +disobeyed an order from a member of mine. Will you disobey me? + +STRAMMFEST. There is an alternative to obedience. The dead cannot +disobey. [He takes out his pistol and places the muzzle against +his temple.] + +SCHNEIDEKIND [snatching the pistol from him]. For God's sake, +General-- + +STRAMMFEST [attacking him furiously to recover the weapon]. Dog +of a subaltern, restore that pistol and my honor. + +SCHNEIDEKIND [reaching out with the pistol to the Grand Duchess]. +Take it: quick: he is as strong as a bull. + +THE GRAND DUCHESS [snatching it]. Aha! Leave the room, all of you +except the General. At the double! lightning! electricity! [She +fires shot after shot, spattering the bullets about the ankles of +the soldiers. They fly precipitately. She turns to Schneidekind, +who has by this time been flung on the floor by the General.] You +too. [He scrambles up.] March. [He flies to the door.] + +SCHNEIDEKIND [turning at the door]. For your own sake, comrade-- + +THE GRAND DUCHESS [indignantly]. Comrade! You!!! Go. [She fires +two more shots. He vanishes.] + +STRAMMFEST [making an impulsive movement towards her]. My +Imperial Mistress-- + +THE GRAND DUCHESS. Stop. I have one bullet left, if you attempt +to take this from me [putting the pistol to her temple]. + +STRAMMFEST [recoiling, and covering his eyes with his hands]. No +no: put it down: put it down. I promise everything: I swear +anything; but put it down, I implore you. + +THE GRAND DUCHESS [throwing it on the table]. There! + +STRAMMFEST [uncovering his eyes]. Thank God! + +THE GRAND DUCHESS [gently]. Strammfest: I am your comrade. Am I +nothing more to you? + +STRAMMFEST [falling on his knee]. You are, God help me, all that +is left to me of the only power I recognize on earth [he kisses +her hand]. + +THE GRAND DUCHESS [indulgently]. Idolater! When will you learn +that our strength has never been in ourselves, but in your +illusions about us? [She shakes off her kindliness, and sits down +in his chair.] Now tell me, what are your orders? And do you mean +to obey them? + +STRAMMFEST [starting like a goaded ox, and blundering fretfully +about the room]. How can I obey six different dictators, and not +one gentleman among the lot of them? One of them orders me to +make peace with the foreign enemy. Another orders me to offer all +the neutral countries 48 hours to choose between adopting his +views on the single tax and being instantly invaded and +annihilated. A third orders me to go to a damned Socialist +Conference and explain that Beotia will allow no annexations and +no indemnities, and merely wishes to establish the Kingdom of +Heaven on Earth throughout the universe. [He finishes behind +Schneidekind's chair.] + +THE GRAND DUCHESS. Damn their trifling! + +STRAMMFEST. I thank Your Imperial Highness from the bottom of my +heart for that expression. Europe thanks you. + +THE GRAND DUCHESS. M'yes; but--[rising]. Strammfest, you know +that your cause--the cause of the dynasty--is lost. + +STRAMMFEST. You must not say so. It is treason, even from you. +[He sinks, discouraged, into the chair, and covers his face with +his hand.] + +THE GRAND DUCHESS. Do not deceive yourself, General: never again +will a Panjandrum reign in Beotia. [She walks slowly across the +room, brooding bitterly, and thinking aloud.] We are so decayed, +so out of date, so feeble, so wicked in our own despite, that we +have come at last to will our own destruction. + +STRAMMFEST. You are uttering blasphemy. + +THE GRAND DUCHESS. All great truths begin as blasphemies. All the +king's horses and all the king's men cannot set up my father's +throne again. If they could, you would have done it, would you +not? + +STRAMMFEST. God knows I would! + +THE GRAND DUCHESS. You really mean that? You would keep the +people in their hopeless squalid misery? you would fill those +infamous prisons again with the noblest spirits in the land? you +would thrust the rising sun of liberty back into the sea of blood +from which it has risen? And all because there was in the middle +of the dirt and ugliness and horror a little patch of court +splendor in which you could stand with a few orders on your +uniform, and yawn day after day and night after night in +unspeakable boredom until your grave yawned wider still, and you +fell into it because you had nothing better to do. How can you be +so stupid, so heartless? + +STRAMMFEST. You must be mad to think of royalty in such a way. I +never yawned at court. The dogs yawned; but that was because they +were dogs: they had no imagination, no ideals, no sense of honor +and dignity to sustain them. + +THE GRAND DUCHESS. My poor Strammfest: you were not often enough +at court to tire of it. You were mostly soldiering; and when you +came home to have a new order pinned on your breast, your +happiness came through looking at my father and mother and at me, +and adoring us. Was that not so? + +STRAMMFEST. Do YOU reproach me with it? I am not ashamed of it. + +THE GRAND DUCHESS. Oh, it was all very well for you, Strammfest. +But think of me, of me! standing there for you to gape at, and +knowing that I was no goddess, but only a girl like any other +girl! It was cruelty to animals: you could have stuck up a wax +doll or a golden calf to worship; it would not have been bored. + +STRAMMFEST. Stop; or I shall renounce my allegiance to you. I +have had women flogged for such seditious chatter as this. + +THE GRAND DUCHESS. Do not provoke me to send a bullet through +your head for reminding me of it. + +STRAMMFEST. You always had low tastes. You are no true daughter +of the Panjandrums: you are a changeling, thrust into the +Panjandrina's bed by some profligate nurse. I have heard stories +of your childhood: of how-- + +THE GRAND DUCHESS. Ha, ha! Yes: they took me to the circus when I +was a child. It was my first moment of happiness, my first +glimpse of heaven. I ran away and joined the troupe. They caught +me and dragged me back to my gilded cage; but I had tasted +freedom; and they never could make me forget it. + +STRAMMFEST. Freedom! To be the slave of an acrobat! to be +exhibited to the public! to-- + +THE GRAND DUCHESS. Oh, I was trained to that. I had learnt that +part of the business at court. + +STRAMMFEST. You had not been taught to strip yourself half naked +and turn head over heels-- + +THE GRAND DUCHESS. Man, I WANTED to get rid of my swaddling +clothes and turn head over heels. I wanted to, I wanted to, I +wanted to. I can do it still. Shall I do it now? + +STRAMMFEST. If you do, I swear I will throw myself from the +window so that I may meet your parents in heaven without having +my medals torn from my breast by them. + +THE GRAND DUCHESS. Oh, you are incorrigible. You are mad, +infatuated. You will not believe that we royal divinities are +mere common flesh and blood even when we step down from our +pedestals and tell you ourselves what a fool you are. I will +argue no more with you: I will use my power. At a word from me +your men will turn against you: already half of them do not +salute you; and you dare not punish them: you have to pretend not +to notice it. + +STRAMMFEST. It is not for you to taunt me with that if it is so. + +THE GRAND DUCHESS. [haughtily]. Taunt! I condescend to taunt! To +taunt a common General! You forget yourself, sir. + +STRAMMFEST [dropping on his knee submissively]. Now at last you +speak like your royal self. + +THE GRAND DUCHESS. Oh, Strammfest, Strammfest, they have driven +your slavery into your very bones. Why did you not spit in my +face?. + +STRAMMFEST [rising with a shudder]. God forbid! + +THE GRAND DUCHESS. Well, since you will be my slave, take your +orders from me. I have not come here to save our wretched family +and our bloodstained crown. I am come to save the Revolution. + +STRAMMFEST. Stupid as I am, I have come to think that I had +better save that than save nothing. But what will the Revolution +do for the people? Do not be deceived by the fine speeches of the +revolutionary leaders and the pamphlets of the revolutionary +writers. How much liberty is there where they have gained the +upper hand? Are they not hanging, shooting, imprisoning as much +as ever we did? Do they ever tell the people the truth? No: if +the truth does not suit them they spread lies instead, and make +it a crime to tell the truth. + +THE GRAND DUCHESS. Of course they do. Why should they not? + +STRAMMFEST [hardly able to believe his ears]. Why should they +not? + +THE GRAND DUCHESS. Yes: why should they not? We did it. You did +it, whip in hand: you flogged women for teaching children to +read. + +STRAMMFEST. To read sedition. To read Karl Marx. + +THP GRAND DUCHESS. Pshaw! How could they learn to read the Bible +without learning to read Karl Marx? Why do you not stand to your +guns and justify what you did, instead of making silly excuses? +Do you suppose I think flogging a woman worse than flogging a +man? I, who am a woman myself! + +STRAMMFEST. I am at a loss to understand your Imperial Highness. +You seem to me to contradict yourself. + +THE GRAND DUCHESS. Nonsense! I say that if the people cannot +govern themselves, they must be governed by somebody. If they +will not do their duty without being half forced and half +humbugged, somebody must force them and humbug them. Some +energetic and capable minority must always be in power. Well, I +am on the side of the energetic minority whose principles I agree +with. The Revolution is as cruel as we were; but its aims are my +aims. Therefore I stand for the Revolution. + +STRAMMFEST. You do not know what you are saying. This is pure +Bolshevism. Are you, the daughter of a Panjandrum, a Bolshevist? + +THE GRAND DUCHESS. I am anything that will make the world less +like a prison and more like a circus. + +STRAMMFEST. Ah! You still want to be a circus star. + +THE GRAND DUCHESS. Yes, and be billed as the Bolshevik Empress. +Nothing shall stop me. You have your orders, General Strammfest: +save the Revolution. + +STRAMMFEST. What Revolution? Which Revolution? No two of your +rabble of revolutionists mean the same thing by the Revolution +What can save a mob in which every man is rushing in a different +direction? + +THE GRAND DUCHESS. I will tell you. The war can save it. + +STRAMMFEST. The war? + +THE GRAND DUCHESS. Yes, the war. Only a great common danger and a +great common duty can unite us and weld these wrangling factions +into a solid commonwealth. + +STRAMMFEST. Bravo! War sets everything right: I have always said +so. But what is a united people without a united army? And what +can I do? I am only a soldier. I cannot make speeches: I have won +no victories: they will not rally to my call [again he sinks into +his chair with his former gesture of discouragement]. + +THE GRAND DUCHESS. Are you sure they will not rally to mine? + +STRAMMFEST. Oh, if only you were a man and a soldier! + +THE GRAND DUCHESS. Suppose I find you a man and a soldier? + +STRAMMFEST [rising in a fury]. Ah! the scoundrel you eloped with! +You think you will shove this fellow into an army command, over +my head. Never. + +THE GRAND DUCHESS. You promised everything. You swore anything. +[She marches as if in front of a regiment.] I know that this man +alone can rouse the army to enthusiasm. + +STRAMMFEST. Delusion! Folly! He is some circus acrobat; and you +are in love with him. + +THE GRAND DUCHESS. I swear I am not in love with him. I swear I +will never marry him. + +STRAMMFEST. Then who is he? + +THE GRAND DUCHESS. Anybody in the world but you would have +guessed long ago. He is under your very eyes. + +STRAMMFEST [staring past her right and left]. Where? + +THE GRAND DUCHESS. Look out of the window. + +He rushes to the window, looking for the officer. The Grand +Duchess takes off her cloak and appears in the uniform of the +Panderobajensky Hussars. + +STRAMMFEST [peering through the window]. Where is he? I can see +no one. + +THE GRAND DUCHESS. Here, silly. + +STRAMMFEST [turning]. You! Great Heavens! The Bolshevik Empress! + + + + + +End of Project Gutenberg Etext Annajanska, the Bolshevik Empress, by Shaw + diff --git a/old/annaj10.zip b/old/annaj10.zip Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..b717b47 --- /dev/null +++ b/old/annaj10.zip |