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diff --git a/3485.txt b/3485.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..3092c5c --- /dev/null +++ b/3485.txt @@ -0,0 +1,1118 @@ +Project Gutenberg's Annajanska, the Bolshevik Empress, by George Bernard Shaw + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: Annajanska, the Bolshevik Empress + +Author: George Bernard Shaw + +Posting Date: January 15, 2009 [EBook #3485] +Release Date: October, 2002 + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ASCII + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK ANNAJANSKA, THE BOLSHEVIK EMPRESS *** + + + + +Produced by Eve Sobol + + + + + +ANNAJANSKA, THE BOLSHEVIK EMPRESS + + +By George Bernard Shaw + + +ANNAJANSKA is frankly a bravura piece. The modern variety theatre +demands for its "turns" little plays called sketches, to last twenty +minutes or so, and to enable some favorite performer to make a brief +but dazzling appearance on some barely passable dramatic pretext. Miss +Lillah McCarthy and I, as author and actress, have helped to make one +another famous on many serious occasions, from Man and Superman to +Androcles; and Mr Charles Ricketts has not disdained to snatch moments +from his painting and sculpture to design some wonderful dresses for us. +We three unbent as Mrs Siddons, Sir Joshua Reynolds and Dr Johnson might +have unbent, to devise a turn for the Coliseum variety theatre. Not +that we would set down the art of the variety theatre as something to be +condescended to, or our own art as elephantine. We should rather crave +indulgence as three novices fresh from the awful legitimacy of the +highbrow theatre. + +Well, Miss McCarthy and Mr Ricketts justified themselves easily in the +glamor of the footlights, to the strains of Tchaikovsky's 1812. I fear +I did not. I have received only one compliment on my share; and that was +from a friend who said, "It is the only one of your works that is not +too long." So I have made it a page or two longer, according to my own +precept: EMBRACE YOUR REPROACHES: THEY ARE OFTEN GLORIES IN DISGUISE. + +Annajanska was first performed at the Coliseum Theatre in London on the +21st January, 1918, with Lillah McCarthy as the Grand Duchess, Henry +Miller as Schneidekind, and Randle Ayrton as General Strammfest. + + + + +ANNAJANSKA, THE BOLSHEVIK EMPRESS + +The General's office in a military station on the east front in Beotia. +An office table with a telephone, writing materials, official papers, +etc., is set across the room. At the end of the table, a comfortable +chair for the General. Behind the chair, a window. Facing it at the +other end of the table, a plain wooden bench. At the side of the table, +with its back to the door, a common chair, with a typewriter before it. +Beside the door, which is opposite the end of the bench, a rack for caps +and coats. There is nobody in the room. + +General Strammfest enters, followed by Lieutenant Schneidekind. They +hang up their cloaks and caps. Schneidekind takes a little longer than +Strammfest, who comes to the table. + +STRAMMFEST. Schneidekind. + +SCHNEIDEKIND. Yes, sir. + +STRAMMFEST. Have you sent my report yet to the government? [He sits +down.] + +SCHNEIDEKIND [coming to the table]. Not yet, sir. Which government do +you wish it sent to? [He sits down.] + +STRAMMFEST. That depends. What's the latest? Which of them do you think +is most likely to be in power tomorrow morning? + +SCHNEIDEKIND. Well, the provisional government was going strong +yesterday. But today they say that the Prime Minister has shot himself, +and that the extreme left fellow has shot all the others. + +STRAMMFEST. Yes: that's all very well; but these fellows always shoot +themselves with blank cartridge. + +SCHNEIDEKIND. Still, even the blank cartridge means backing down. I +should send the report to the Maximilianists. + +STRAMMFEST. They're no stronger than the Oppidoshavians; and in my own +opinion the Moderate Red Revolutionaries are as likely to come out on +top as either of them. + +SCHNEIDEKIND. I can easily put a few carbon sheets in the typewriter and +send a copy each to the lot. + +STRAMMFEST. Waste of paper. You might as well send reports to an infant +school. [He throws his head on the table with a groan.] + +SCHNEIDEKIND. Tired out, Sir? + +STRAMMFEST. O Schneidekind, Schneidekind, how can you bear to live? + +SCHNEIDEKIND. At my age, sir, I ask myself how can I bear to die? + +STRAMMFEST. You are young, young and heartless. You are excited by the +revolution: you are attached to abstract things like liberty. But +my family has served the Panjandrums of Beotia faithfully for seven +centuries. The Panjandrums have kept our place for us at their courts, +honored us, promoted us, shed their glory on us, made us what we +are. When I hear you young men declaring that you are fighting for +civilization, for democracy, for the overthrow of militarism, I ask +myself how can a man shed his blood for empty words used by vulgar +tradesmen and common laborers: mere wind and stink. [He rises, exalted +by his theme.] A king is a splendid reality, a man raised above us like +a god. You can see him; you can kiss his hand; you can be cheered by his +smile and terrified by his frown. I would have died for my Panjandrum +as my father died for his father. Your toiling millions were only too +honored to receive the toes of our boots in the proper spot for them +when they displeased their betters. And now what is left in life for me? +[He relapses into his chair discouraged.] My Panjandrum is deposed and +transported to herd with convicts. The army, his pride and glory, is +paraded to hear seditious speeches from penniless rebels, with the +colonel actually forced to take the chair and introduce the speaker. +I myself am made Commander-in-Chief by my own solicitor: a Jew, +Schneidekind! a Hebrew Jew! It seems only yesterday that these things +would have been the ravings of a madman: today they are the commonplaces +of the gutter press. I live now for three objects only: to defeat the +enemy, to restore the Panjandrum, and to hang my solicitor. + +SCHNEIDEKIND. Be careful, sir: these are dangerous views to utter +nowadays. What if I were to betray you? + +STRAMMFEST. What! + +SCHNEIDEKIND. I won't, of course: my own father goes on just like that; +but suppose I did? + +STRAMMFEST [chuckling]. I should accuse you of treason to the +Revolution, my lad; and they would immediately shoot you, unless you +cried and asked to see your mother before you died, when they would +probably change their minds and make you a brigadier. Enough. [He rises +and expands his chest.] I feel the better for letting myself go. To +business. [He takes up a telegram: opens it: and is thunderstruck by its +contents.] Great heaven! [He collapses into his chair.] This is the worst +blow of all. + +SCHNEIDEKIND. What has happened? Are we beaten? + +STRAMMFEST. Man, do you think that a mere defeat could strike me down as +this news does: I, who have been defeated thirteen times since the war +began? O, my master, my master, my Panjandrum! [he is convulsed with +sobs.] + +SCHNEIDEKIND. They have killed him? + +STRAMMFEST. A dagger has been struck through his heart-- + +SCHNEIDEKIND. Good God! + +STRAMMFEST. --and through mine, through mine. + +SCHNEIDEKIND [relieved]. Oh, a metaphorical dagger! I thought you meant +a real one. What has happened? + +STRAMMFEST. His daughter the Grand Duchess Annajanska, she whom the +Panjandrina loved beyond all her other children, has--has-- [he cannot +finish.] + +SCHNEIDEKIND. Committed suicide? + +STRAMMFEST. No. Better if she had. Oh, far far better. + +SCHNEIDEKIND [in hushed tones]. Left the Church? + +STRAMMFEST [shocked]. Certainly not. Do not blaspheme, young man. + +SCHNEIDEKIND. Asked for the vote? + +STRAMMFEST. I would have given it to her with both hands to save her +from this. + +SCHNEIDEKIND. Save her from what? Dash it, sir, out with it. + +STRAMMFEST. She has joined the Revolution. + +SCHNEIDEKIND. But so have you, sir. We've all joined the Revolution. She +doesn't mean it any more than we do. + +STRAMMFEST. Heaven grant you may be right! But that is not the worst. +She had eloped with a young officer. Eloped, Schneidekind, eloped! + +SCHNEIDEKIND [not particularly impressed]. Yes, Sir. + +STRAMMFEST. Annajanska, the beautiful, the innocent, my master's +daughter! [He buries his face in his hands.] + +The telephone rings. + +SCHNEIDEKIND [taking the receiver]. Yes: G.H.Q. Yes... Don't bawl: I'm +not a general. Who is it speaking?... Why didn't you say so? don't you +know your duty? Next time you will lose your stripe... Oh, they've made +you a colonel, have they? Well, they've made me a field-marshal: now +what have you to say?... Look here: what did you ring up for? I can't +spend the day here listening to your cheek... What! the Grand Duchess +[Strammfest starts.] Where did you catch her? + +STRAMMFEST [snatching the telephone and listening for the answer]. +Speak louder, will you: I am a General I know that, you dolt. Have you +captured the officer that was with her?... Damnation! You shall answer +for this: you let him go: he bribed you. You must have seen him: +the fellow is in the full dress court uniform of the Panderobajensky +Hussars. I give you twelve hours to catch him or... what's that you say +about the devil? Are you swearing at me, you... Thousand thunders! +[To Schneidekind.] The swine says that the Grand Duchess is a devil +incarnate. [Into the telephone.] Filthy traitor: is that the way you +dare speak of the daughter of our anointed Panjandrum? I'll-- + +SCHNEIDEKIND [pulling the telephone from his lips]. Take care, sir. + +STRAMMFEST. I won't take care: I'll have him shot. Let go that +telephone. + +SCHNEIDEKIND. But for her own sake, sir-- + +STRAMMFEST. Eh?-- + +SCHNEIDEKIND. For her own sake they had better send her here. She will +be safe in your hands. + +STRAMMFEST [yielding the receiver]. You are right. Be civil to him. I +should choke [he sits down]. + +SCHNEIDEKIND [into the telephone]. Hullo. Never mind all that: it's only +a fellow here who has been fooling with the telephone. I had to leave +the room for a moment. Wash out: and send the girl along. We'll jolly +soon teach her to behave herself here... Oh, you've sent her already. +Then why the devil didn't you say so, you--[he hangs up the telephone +angrily]. Just fancy: they started her off this morning: and all this is +because the fellow likes to get on the telephone and hear himself talk +now that he is a colonel. [The telephone rings again. He snatches the +receiver furiously.] What's the matter now?... [To the General.] It's our +own people downstairs. [Into the receiver.] Here! do you suppose I've +nothing else to do than to hang on to the telephone all day?... What's +that? Not men enough to hold her! What do you mean? [To the General.] +She is there, sir. + +STRAMMFEST. Tell them to send her up. I shall have to receive her +without even rising, without kissing her hand, to keep up appearances +before the escort. It will break my heart. + +SCHNEIDEKIND [into the receiver]. Send her up... Tcha! [He hangs up the +receiver.] He says she is halfway up already: they couldn't hold her. + +The Grand Duchess bursts into the room, dragging with her two exhausted +soldiers hanging on desperately to her arms. She is enveloped from head +to foot by a fur-lined cloak, and wears a fur cap. + +SCHNEIDEKIND [pointing to the bench]. At the word Go, place your +prisoner on the bench in a sitting posture; and take your seats right +and left of her. Go. + +The two soldiers make a supreme effort to force her to sit down. She +flings them back so that they are forced to sit on the bench to save +themselves from falling backwards over it, and is herself dragged into +sitting between them. The second soldier, holding on tight to the Grand +Duchess with one hand, produces papers with the other, and waves them +towards Schneidekind, who takes them from him and passes them on to the +General. He opens them and reads them with a grave expression. + +SCHNEIDEKIND. Be good enough to wait, prisoner, until the General has +read the papers on your case. + +THE GRAND DUCHESS [to the soldiers]. Let go. [To Strammfest]. Tell them +to let go, or I'll upset the bench backwards and bash our three heads on +the floor. + +FIRST SOLDIER. No, little mother. Have mercy on the poor. + +STRAMMFEST [growling over the edge of the paper he is reading]. Hold +your tongue. + +THE GRAND DUCHESS [blazing]. Me, or the soldier? + +STRAMMFEST [horrified]. The soldier, madam. + +THE GRAND DUCHESS. Tell him to let go. + +STRAMMFEST. Release the lady. + +The soldiers take their hands off her. One of them wipes his fevered +brow. The other sucks his wrist. + +SCHNEIDKIND [fiercely]. 'ttention! + +The two soldiers sit up stiffly. + +THE GRAND DUCHESS. Oh, let the poor man suck his wrist. It may be +poisoned. I bit it. + +STRAMMFEST [shocked]. You bit a common soldier! + +GRAND DUCHESS. Well, I offered to cauterize it with the poker in the +office stove. But he was afraid. What more could I do? + +SCHNEIDEKIND. Why did you bite him, prisoner? + +THE GRAND DUCHESS. He would not let go. + +STRAMMFEST. Did he let go when you bit him? + +THE GRAND DUCHESS. No. [Patting the soldier on the back]. You should +give the man a cross for his devotion. I could not go on eating him; so +I brought him along with me. + +STRAMMFEST. Prisoner-- + +THE GRAND DUCHESS. Don't call me prisoner, General Strammfest. My +grandmother dandled you on her knee. + +STRAMMFEST [bursting into tears]. O God, yes. Believe me, my heart is +what it was then. + +THE GRAND DUCHESS. Your brain also is what it was then. I will not be +addressed by you as prisoner. + +STRAMMFEST. I may not, for your own sake, call you by your rightful and +most sacred titles. What am I to call you? + +THE GRAND DUCHESS. The Revolution has made us comrades. Call me comrade. + +STRAMMFEST. I had rather die. + +THE GRAND DUCHESS. Then call me Annajanska; and I will call you Peter +Piper, as grandmamma did. + +STRAMMFEST [painfully agitated]. Schneidekind, you must speak to her: I +cannot--[he breaks down.] + +SCHNEIDEKIND [officially]. The Republic of Beotia has been compelled +to confine the Panjandrum and his family, for their own safety, within +certain bounds. You have broken those bounds. + +STRAMMFEST [taking the word from him]. You are I must say it--a +prisoner. What am I to do with you? + +THE GRAND DUCHESS. You should have thought of that before you arrested +me. + +STRAMMFEST. Come, come, prisoner! do you know what will happen to you if +you compel me to take a sterner tone with you? + +THE GRAND DUCHESS. No. But I know what will happen to you. + +STRAMAIFEST. Pray what, prisoner? + +THE GLAND DUCHESS. Clergyman's sore throat. + +Schneidekind splutters; drops a paper: and conceals his laughter under +the table. + +STRAMMFEST [thunderously]. Lieutenant Schneidekind. + +SCHNEIDEKIND [in a stifled voice]. Yes, Sir. [The table vibrates +visibly.] + +STRAMMFEST. Come out of it, you fool: you're upsetting the ink. + +Schneidekind emerges, red in the face with suppressed mirth. + +STRAMMFEST. Why don't you laugh? Don't you appreciate Her Imperial +Highness's joke? + +SCHNEIDEKIND [suddenly becoming solemn]. I don't want to, sir. + +STRAMMFEST. Laugh at once, sir. I order you to laugh. + +SCHNEIDEKIND [with a touch of temper]. I really can't, sir. [He sits +down decisively.] + +STRAMMFEST [growling at him]. Yah! [He turns impressively to the Grand +Duchess.] Your Imperial Highness desires me to address you as comrade? + +THE GRAND DUCHESS [rising and waving a red handkerchief]. Long live the +Revolution, comrade! + +STRAMMFEST [rising and saluting]. Proletarians of all lands, unite. +Lieutenant Schneidekind, you will rise and sing the Marseillaise. + +SCHNEIDEKIND [rising]. But I cannot, sir. I have no voice, no ear. + +STRAMMFEST. Then sit down; and bury your shame in your typewriter. +[Schneidekind sits down.] Comrade Annajanska, you have eloped with a +young officer. + +THE GRAND DUCHESS [astounded]. General Strammfest, you lie. + +STRAMMFEST. Denial, comrade, is useless. It is through that officer +that your movements have been traced. [The Grand Duchess is suddenly +enlightened, and seems amused. Strammfest continues an a forensic +manner.] He joined you at the Golden Anchor in Hakonsburg. You gave +us the slip there; but the officer was traced to Potterdam, where you +rejoined him and went alone to Premsylople. What have you done with that +unhappy young man? Where is he? + +THE GRAND DUCHESS [pretending to whisper an important secret]. Where he +has always been. + +STRAMMFEST [eagerly]. Where is that? + +THE GRAND DUCHESS [impetuously]. In your imagination. I came alone. I +am alone. Hundreds of officers travel every day from Hakonsburg to +Potterdam. What do I know about them? + +STRAMMFEST. They travel in khaki. They do not travel in full dress court +uniform as this man did. + +SCHNEIDEKIND. Only officers who are eloping with grand duchesses wear +court uniform: otherwise the grand duchesses could not be seen with +them. + +STRAMMFEST. Hold your tongue. [Schneidekind, in high dudgeon, folds his +arms and retires from the conversation. The General returns to his paper +and to his examination of the Grand Duchess.] This officer travelled +with your passport. What have you to say to that? + +THE GRAND DUCHESS. Bosh! How could a man travel with a woman's passport? + +STRAMMFEST. It is quite simple, as you very well know. A dozen +travellers arrive at the boundary. The official collects their +passports. He counts twelve persons; then counts the passports. If there +are twelve, he is satisfied. + +THE GRAND DUCHESS. Then how do you know that one of the passports was +mine? + +STRAMMFEST. A waiter at the Potterdam Hotel looked at the officer's +passport when he was in his bath. It was your passport. + +THE GRAND DUCHESS. Stuff! Why did he not have me arrested? + +STRAMMFEST. When the waiter returned to the hotel with the police the +officer had vanished; and you were there with your own passport. They +knouted him. + +THE GRAND DUCHESS. Oh! Strammfest, send these men away. I must speak to +you alone. + +STRAMMFEST [rising in horror]. No: this is the last straw: I cannot +consent. It is impossible, utterly, eternally impossible, that a +daughter of the Imperial House should speak to any one alone, were it +even her own husband. + +THE GRAND DUCHESS. You forget that there is an exception. She may speak +to a child alone. [She rises.] Strammfest, you have been dandled on my +grandmother's knee. By that gracious action the dowager Panjandrina made +you a child forever. So did Nature, by the way. I order you to speak to +me alone. Do you hear? I order you. For seven hundred years no member of +your family has ever disobeyed an order from a member of mine. Will you +disobey me? + +STRAMMFEST. There is an alternative to obedience. The dead cannot +disobey. [He takes out his pistol and places the muzzle against his +temple.] + +SCHNEIDEKIND [snatching the pistol from him]. For God's sake, General-- + +STRAMMFEST [attacking him furiously to recover the weapon]. Dog of a +subaltern, restore that pistol and my honor. + +SCHNEIDEKIND [reaching out with the pistol to the Grand Duchess]. Take +it: quick: he is as strong as a bull. + +THE GRAND DUCHESS [snatching it]. Aha! Leave the room, all of you except +the General. At the double! lightning! electricity! [She fires shot +after shot, spattering the bullets about the ankles of the soldiers. +They fly precipitately. She turns to Schneidekind, who has by this time +been flung on the floor by the General.] You too. [He scrambles up.] +March. [He flies to the door.] + +SCHNEIDEKIND [turning at the door]. For your own sake, comrade-- + +THE GRAND DUCHESS [indignantly]. Comrade! You!!! Go. [She fires two more +shots. He vanishes.] + +STRAMMFEST [making an impulsive movement towards her]. My Imperial +Mistress-- + +THE GRAND DUCHESS. Stop. I have one bullet left, if you attempt to take +this from me [putting the pistol to her temple]. + +STRAMMFEST [recoiling, and covering his eyes with his hands]. No no: put +it down: put it down. I promise everything: I swear anything; but put it +down, I implore you. + +THE GRAND DUCHESS [throwing it on the table]. There! + +STRAMMFEST [uncovering his eyes]. Thank God! + +THE GRAND DUCHESS [gently]. Strammfest: I am your comrade. Am I nothing +more to you? + +STRAMMFEST [falling on his knee]. You are, God help me, all that is left +to me of the only power I recognize on earth [he kisses her hand]. + +THE GRAND DUCHESS [indulgently]. Idolater! When will you learn that our +strength has never been in ourselves, but in your illusions about us? +[She shakes off her kindliness, and sits down in his chair.] Now tell +me, what are your orders? And do you mean to obey them? + +STRAMMFEST [starting like a goaded ox, and blundering fretfully about +the room]. How can I obey six different dictators, and not one gentleman +among the lot of them? One of them orders me to make peace with the +foreign enemy. Another orders me to offer all the neutral countries 48 +hours to choose between adopting his views on the single tax and being +instantly invaded and annihilated. A third orders me to go to a damned +Socialist Conference and explain that Beotia will allow no annexations +and no indemnities, and merely wishes to establish the Kingdom of Heaven +on Earth throughout the universe. [He finishes behind Schneidekind's +chair.] + +THE GRAND DUCHESS. Damn their trifling! + +STRAMMFEST. I thank Your Imperial Highness from the bottom of my heart +for that expression. Europe thanks you. + +THE GRAND DUCHESS. M'yes; but--[rising]. Strammfest, you know that your +cause--the cause of the dynasty--is lost. + +STRAMMFEST. You must not say so. It is treason, even from you. [He +sinks, discouraged, into the chair, and covers his face with his hand.] + +THE GRAND DUCHESS. Do not deceive yourself, General: never again will a +Panjandrum reign in Beotia. [She walks slowly across the room, brooding +bitterly, and thinking aloud.] We are so decayed, so out of date, so +feeble, so wicked in our own despite, that we have come at last to will +our own destruction. + +STRAMMFEST. You are uttering blasphemy. + +THE GRAND DUCHESS. All great truths begin as blasphemies. All the king's +horses and all the king's men cannot set up my father's throne again. If +they could, you would have done it, would you not? + +STRAMMFEST. God knows I would! + +THE GRAND DUCHESS. You really mean that? You would keep the people in +their hopeless squalid misery? you would fill those infamous prisons +again with the noblest spirits in the land? you would thrust the rising +sun of liberty back into the sea of blood from which it has risen? And +all because there was in the middle of the dirt and ugliness and horror +a little patch of court splendor in which you could stand with a few +orders on your uniform, and yawn day after day and night after night in +unspeakable boredom until your grave yawned wider still, and you fell +into it because you had nothing better to do. How can you be so stupid, +so heartless? + +STRAMMFEST. You must be mad to think of royalty in such a way. I never +yawned at court. The dogs yawned; but that was because they were dogs: +they had no imagination, no ideals, no sense of honor and dignity to +sustain them. + +THE GRAND DUCHESS. My poor Strammfest: you were not often enough at +court to tire of it. You were mostly soldiering; and when you came home +to have a new order pinned on your breast, your happiness came through +looking at my father and mother and at me, and adoring us. Was that not +so? + +STRAMMFEST. Do YOU reproach me with it? I am not ashamed of it. + +THE GRAND DUCHESS. Oh, it was all very well for you, Strammfest. But +think of me, of me! standing there for you to gape at, and knowing that +I was no goddess, but only a girl like any other girl! It was cruelty to +animals: you could have stuck up a wax doll or a golden calf to worship; +it would not have been bored. + +STRAMMFEST. Stop; or I shall renounce my allegiance to you. I have had +women flogged for such seditious chatter as this. + +THE GRAND DUCHESS. Do not provoke me to send a bullet through your head +for reminding me of it. + +STRAMMFEST. You always had low tastes. You are no true daughter of the +Panjandrums: you are a changeling, thrust into the Panjandrina's bed by +some profligate nurse. I have heard stories of your childhood: of how-- + +THE GRAND DUCHESS. Ha, ha! Yes: they took me to the circus when I was a +child. It was my first moment of happiness, my first glimpse of heaven. +I ran away and joined the troupe. They caught me and dragged me back to +my gilded cage; but I had tasted freedom; and they never could make me +forget it. + +STRAMMFEST. Freedom! To be the slave of an acrobat! to be exhibited to +the public! to-- + +THE GRAND DUCHESS. Oh, I was trained to that. I had learnt that part of +the business at court. + +STRAMMFEST. You had not been taught to strip yourself half naked and +turn head over heels-- + +THE GRAND DUCHESS. Man, I WANTED to get rid of my swaddling clothes and +turn head over heels. I wanted to, I wanted to, I wanted to. I can do it +still. Shall I do it now? + +STRAMMFEST. If you do, I swear I will throw myself from the window so +that I may meet your parents in heaven without having my medals torn +from my breast by them. + +THE GRAND DUCHESS. Oh, you are incorrigible. You are mad, infatuated. +You will not believe that we royal divinities are mere common flesh and +blood even when we step down from our pedestals and tell you ourselves +what a fool you are. I will argue no more with you: I will use my power. +At a word from me your men will turn against you: already half of them +do not salute you; and you dare not punish them: you have to pretend not +to notice it. + +STRAMMFEST. It is not for you to taunt me with that if it is so. + +THE GRAND DUCHESS. [haughtily]. Taunt! I condescend to taunt! To taunt a +common General! You forget yourself, sir. + +STRAMMFEST [dropping on his knee submissively]. Now at last you speak +like your royal self. + +THE GRAND DUCHESS. Oh, Strammfest, Strammfest, they have driven your +slavery into your very bones. Why did you not spit in my face? + +STRAMMFEST [rising with a shudder]. God forbid! + +THE GRAND DUCHESS. Well, since you will be my slave, take your orders +from me. I have not come here to save our wretched family and our +bloodstained crown. I am come to save the Revolution. + +STRAMMFEST. Stupid as I am, I have come to think that I had better save +that than save nothing. But what will the Revolution do for the people? +Do not be deceived by the fine speeches of the revolutionary leaders and +the pamphlets of the revolutionary writers. How much liberty is there +where they have gained the upper hand? Are they not hanging, shooting, +imprisoning as much as ever we did? Do they ever tell the people the +truth? No: if the truth does not suit them they spread lies instead, and +make it a crime to tell the truth. + +THE GRAND DUCHESS. Of course they do. Why should they not? + +STRAMMFEST [hardly able to believe his ears]. Why should they not? + +THE GRAND DUCHESS. Yes: why should they not? We did it. You did it, whip +in hand: you flogged women for teaching children to read. + +STRAMMFEST. To read sedition. To read Karl Marx. + +THE GRAND DUCHESS. Pshaw! How could they learn to read the Bible without +learning to read Karl Marx? Why do you not stand to your guns and +justify what you did, instead of making silly excuses? Do you suppose +I think flogging a woman worse than flogging a man? I, who am a woman +myself! + +STRAMMFEST. I am at a loss to understand your Imperial Highness. You +seem to me to contradict yourself. + +THE GRAND DUCHESS. Nonsense! I say that if the people cannot govern +themselves, they must be governed by somebody. If they will not do their +duty without being half forced and half humbugged, somebody must force +them and humbug them. Some energetic and capable minority must always +be in power. Well, I am on the side of the energetic minority whose +principles I agree with. The Revolution is as cruel as we were; but its +aims are my aims. Therefore I stand for the Revolution. + +STRAMMFEST. You do not know what you are saying. This is pure +Bolshevism. Are you, the daughter of a Panjandrum, a Bolshevist? + +THE GRAND DUCHESS. I am anything that will make the world less like a +prison and more like a circus. + +STRAMMFEST. Ah! You still want to be a circus star. + +THE GRAND DUCHESS. Yes, and be billed as the Bolshevik Empress. Nothing +shall stop me. You have your orders, General Strammfest: save the +Revolution. + +STRAMMFEST. What Revolution? Which Revolution? No two of your rabble of +revolutionists mean the same thing by the Revolution What can save a mob +in which every man is rushing in a different direction? + +THE GRAND DUCHESS. I will tell you. The war can save it. + +STRAMMFEST. The war? + +THE GRAND DUCHESS. Yes, the war. Only a great common danger and a great +common duty can unite us and weld these wrangling factions into a solid +commonwealth. + +STRAMMFEST. Bravo! War sets everything right: I have always said so. But +what is a united people without a united army? And what can I do? I am +only a soldier. I cannot make speeches: I have won no victories: they +will not rally to my call [again he sinks into his chair with his former +gesture of discouragement]. + +THE GRAND DUCHESS. Are you sure they will not rally to mine? + +STRAMMFEST. Oh, if only you were a man and a soldier! + +THE GRAND DUCHESS. Suppose I find you a man and a soldier? + +STRAMMFEST [rising in a fury]. Ah! the scoundrel you eloped with! You +think you will shove this fellow into an army command, over my head. +Never. + +THE GRAND DUCHESS. You promised everything. You swore anything. [She +marches as if in front of a regiment.] I know that this man alone can +rouse the army to enthusiasm. + +STRAMMFEST. Delusion! Folly! He is some circus acrobat; and you are in +love with him. + +THE GRAND DUCHESS. I swear I am not in love with him. I swear I will +never marry him. + +STRAMMFEST. Then who is he? + +THE GRAND DUCHESS. Anybody in the world but you would have guessed long +ago. He is under your very eyes. + +STRAMMFEST [staring past her right and left]. Where? + +THE GRAND DUCHESS. Look out of the window. + +He rushes to the window, looking for the officer. The Grand Duchess +takes off her cloak and appears in the uniform of the Panderobajensky +Hussars. + +STRAMMFEST [peering through the window]. Where is he? I can see no one. + +THE GRAND DUCHESS. Here, silly. + +STRAMMFEST [turning]. You! Great Heavens! The Bolshevik Empress! + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Annajanska, the Bolshevik Empress, by +George Bernard Shaw + +*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK ANNAJANSKA, THE BOLSHEVIK EMPRESS *** + +***** This file should be named 3485.txt or 3485.zip ***** +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: + http://www.gutenberg.org/3/4/8/3485/ + +Produced by Eve Sobol + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. Special rules, +set forth in the General Terms of Use part of this license, apply to +copying and distributing Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works to +protect the PROJECT GUTENBERG-tm concept and trademark. 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