diff options
Diffstat (limited to 'old/annaj10.txt')
| -rw-r--r-- | old/annaj10.txt | 1146 |
1 files changed, 1146 insertions, 0 deletions
diff --git a/old/annaj10.txt b/old/annaj10.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..e87b7de --- /dev/null +++ b/old/annaj10.txt @@ -0,0 +1,1146 @@ +Project Gutenberg Etext Annajanska, the Bolshevik Empress, by Shaw +#12 in our series by George Bernard Shaw. + +Copyright laws are changing all over the world, be sure to check +the laws for your country before redistributing these files!!! + +Please take a look at the important information in this header. +We encourage you to keep this file on your own disk, keeping an +electronic path open for the next readers. + +Please do not remove this. + +This should be the first thing seen when anyone opens the book. +Do not change or edit it without written permission. The words +are carefully chosen to provide users with the information they +need about what they can legally do with the texts. + + +**Welcome To The World of Free Plain Vanilla Electronic Texts** + +**Etexts Readable By Both Humans and By Computers, Since 1971** + +*These Etexts Prepared By Hundreds of Volunteers and Donations* + +Information on contacting Project Gutenberg to get Etexts, and +further information is included below. We need your donations. +The Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation is a 501(c)(3) +organization with EIN [Employee Identification Number] 64-6221541 + +As of 12/12/00 contributions are only being solicited from people in: +Colorado, Connecticut, Idaho, Indiana, Iowa, +Kentucky, Louisiana, Massachusetts, Montana, +Nevada, Oklahoma, South Carolina, South Dakota, +Texas, Vermont, and Wyoming. + +As the requirements for other states are met, +additions to this list will be made and fund raising +will begin in the additional states. Please feel +free to ask to check the status of your state. + +These donations should be made to: + +Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation +PMB 113 +1739 University Ave. +Oxford, MS 38655-4109 + + +Title: Annajanska, the Bolshevik Empress + +Author: George Bernard Shaw + +Release Date: October, 2002 [Etext #3485 +[Yes, we are about one year ahead of schedule] +[The actual date this file first posted = 05/16/01] + +Edition: 10 + +Language: English + +Project Gutenberg Etext Annajanska, the Bolshevik Empress, by Shaw +*******This file should be named annaj10.txt or annaj10.zip******* + +Corrected EDITIONS of our etexts get a new NUMBER, annaj11.txt +VERSIONS based on separate sources get new LETTER, annaj10a.txt + +This etext was produced by Eve Sobol, South Bend, Indiana, USA + + +Project Gutenberg Etexts are usually created from multiple editions, +all of which are in the Public Domain in the United States, unless a +copyright notice is included. Therefore, we usually do NOT keep any +of these books in compliance with any particular paper edition. + +We are now trying to release all our books one year in advance +of the official release dates, leaving time for better editing. +Please be encouraged to send us error messages even years after +the official publication date. + +Please note: neither this list nor its contents are final till +midnight of the last day of the month of any such announcement. +The official release date of all Project Gutenberg Etexts is at +Midnight, Central Time, of the last day of the stated month. A +preliminary version may often be posted for suggestion, comment +and editing by those who wish to do so. + +Most people start at our sites at: +http://gutenberg.net +http://promo.net/pg + + +Those of you who want to download any Etext before announcement +can surf to them as follows, and just download by date; this is +also a good way to get them instantly upon announcement, as the +indexes our cataloguers produce obviously take a while after an +announcement goes out in the Project Gutenberg Newsletter. + +http://www.ibiblio.org/gutenberg/etext02 +or +ftp://ftp.ibiblio.org/pub/docs/books/gutenberg/etext02 + +Or /etext01, 00, 99, 98, 97, 96, 95, 94, 93, 92, 92, 91 or 90 + +Just search by the first five letters of the filename you want, +as it appears in our Newsletters. + + +Information about Project Gutenberg (one page) + +We produce about two million dollars for each hour we work. The +time it takes us, a rather conservative estimate, is fifty hours +to get any etext selected, entered, proofread, edited, copyright +searched and analyzed, the copyright letters written, etc. This +projected audience is one hundred million readers. If our value +per text is nominally estimated at one dollar then we produce $2 +million dollars per hour this year as we release fifty new Etext +files per month, or 500 more Etexts in 2000 for a total of 3000+ +If they reach just 1-2% of the world's population then the total +should reach over 300 billion Etexts given away by year's end. + +The Goal of Project Gutenberg is to Give Away One Trillion Etext +Files by December 31, 2001. [10,000 x 100,000,000 = 1 Trillion] +This is ten thousand titles each to one hundred million readers, +which is only about 4% of the present number of computer users. + +At our revised rates of production, we will reach only one-third +of that goal by the end of 2001, or about 3,333 Etexts unless we +manage to get some real funding. + +The Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation has been created +to secure a future for Project Gutenberg into the next millennium. + +We need your donations more than ever! + +Presently, contributions are only being solicited from people in: +Colorado, Connecticut, Idaho, Indiana, Iowa, +Kentucky, Louisiana, Massachusetts, Montana, +Nevada, Oklahoma, South Carolina, South Dakota, +Texas, Vermont, and Wyoming. + +As the requirements for other states are met, +additions to this list will be made and fund raising +will begin in the additional states. + +These donations should be made to: + +Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation +PMB 113 +1739 University Ave. +Oxford, MS 38655-4109 + + +Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation, +EIN [Employee Identification Number] 64-6221541, +has been approved as a 501(c)(3) organization by the US Internal +Revenue Service (IRS). Donations are tax-deductible to the extent +permitted by law. As the requirements for other states are met, +additions to this list will be made and fund raising will begin in the +additional states. + +All donations should be made to the Project Gutenberg Literary +Archive Foundation. Mail to: + +Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation +PMB 113 +1739 University Avenue +Oxford, MS 38655-4109 [USA] + + +We need your donations more than ever! + +You can get up to date donation information at: + +http://www.gutenberg.net/donation.html + + +*** + +If you can't reach Project Gutenberg, +you can always email directly to: + +Michael S. Hart <hart@pobox.com> + +hart@pobox.com forwards to hart@prairienet.org and archive.org +if your mail bounces from archive.org, I will still see it, if +it bounces from prairienet.org, better resend later on. . . . + +Prof. Hart will answer or forward your message. + +We would prefer to send you information by email. + + +*** + + +Example command-line FTP session: + +ftp ftp.ibiblio.org +login: anonymous +password: your@login +cd pub/docs/books/gutenberg +cd etext90 through etext99 or etext00 through etext02, etc. +dir [to see files] +get or mget [to get files. . .set bin for zip files] +GET GUTINDEX.?? [to get a year's listing of books, e.g., GUTINDEX.99] +GET GUTINDEX.ALL [to get a listing of ALL books] + + +**The Legal Small Print** + + +(Three Pages) + +***START**THE SMALL PRINT!**FOR PUBLIC DOMAIN ETEXTS**START*** +Why is this "Small Print!" statement here? You know: lawyers. +They tell us you might sue us if there is something wrong with +your copy of this etext, even if you got it for free from +someone other than us, and even if what's wrong is not our +fault. So, among other things, this "Small Print!" statement +disclaims most of our liability to you. It also tells you how +you may distribute copies of this etext if you want to. + +*BEFORE!* YOU USE OR READ THIS ETEXT +By using or reading any part of this PROJECT GUTENBERG-tm +etext, you indicate that you understand, agree to and accept +this "Small Print!" statement. If you do not, you can receive +a refund of the money (if any) you paid for this etext by +sending a request within 30 days of receiving it to the person +you got it from. If you received this etext on a physical +medium (such as a disk), you must return it with your request. + +ABOUT PROJECT GUTENBERG-TM ETEXTS +This PROJECT GUTENBERG-tm etext, like most PROJECT GUTENBERG-tm etexts, +is a "public domain" work distributed by Professor Michael S. Hart +through the Project Gutenberg Association (the "Project"). +Among other things, this means that no one owns a United States copyright +on or for this work, so the Project (and you!) can copy and +distribute it in the United States without permission and +without paying copyright royalties. Special rules, set forth +below, apply if you wish to copy and distribute this etext +under the "PROJECT GUTENBERG" trademark. + +Please do not use the "PROJECT GUTENBERG" trademark to market +any commercial products without permission. + +To create these etexts, the Project expends considerable +efforts to identify, transcribe and proofread public domain +works. Despite these efforts, the Project's etexts and any +medium they may be on may contain "Defects". Among other +things, Defects may take the form of incomplete, inaccurate or +corrupt data, transcription errors, a copyright or other +intellectual property infringement, a defective or damaged +disk or other etext medium, a computer virus, or computer +codes that damage or cannot be read by your equipment. + +LIMITED WARRANTY; DISCLAIMER OF DAMAGES +But for the "Right of Replacement or Refund" described below, +[1] Michael Hart and the Foundation (and any other party you may +receive this etext from as a PROJECT GUTENBERG-tm etext) disclaims +all liability to you for damages, costs and expenses, including +legal fees, and [2] YOU HAVE NO REMEDIES FOR NEGLIGENCE OR +UNDER STRICT LIABILITY, OR FOR BREACH OF WARRANTY OR CONTRACT, +INCLUDING BUT NOT LIMITED TO INDIRECT, CONSEQUENTIAL, PUNITIVE +OR INCIDENTAL DAMAGES, EVEN IF YOU GIVE NOTICE OF THE +POSSIBILITY OF SUCH DAMAGES. + +If you discover a Defect in this etext within 90 days of +receiving it, you can receive a refund of the money (if any) +you paid for it by sending an explanatory note within that +time to the person you received it from. If you received it +on a physical medium, you must return it with your note, and +such person may choose to alternatively give you a replacement +copy. If you received it electronically, such person may +choose to alternatively give you a second opportunity to +receive it electronically. + +THIS ETEXT IS OTHERWISE PROVIDED TO YOU "AS-IS". NO OTHER +WARRANTIES OF ANY KIND, EXPRESS OR IMPLIED, ARE MADE TO YOU AS +TO THE ETEXT OR ANY MEDIUM IT MAY BE ON, INCLUDING BUT NOT +LIMITED TO WARRANTIES OF MERCHANTABILITY OR FITNESS FOR A +PARTICULAR PURPOSE. + +Some states do not allow disclaimers of implied warranties or +the exclusion or limitation of consequential damages, so the +above disclaimers and exclusions may not apply to you, and you +may have other legal rights. + +INDEMNITY +You will indemnify and hold Michael Hart, the Foundation, +and its trustees and agents, and any volunteers associated +with the production and distribution of Project Gutenberg-tm +texts harmless, from all liability, cost and expense, including +legal fees, that arise directly or indirectly from any of the +following that you do or cause: [1] distribution of this etext, +[2] alteration, modification, or addition to the etext, +or [3] any Defect. + +DISTRIBUTION UNDER "PROJECT GUTENBERG-tm" +You may distribute copies of this etext electronically, or by +disk, book or any other medium if you either delete this +"Small Print!" and all other references to Project Gutenberg, +or: + +[1] Only give exact copies of it. Among other things, this + requires that you do not remove, alter or modify the + etext or this "small print!" statement. You may however, + if you wish, distribute this etext in machine readable + binary, compressed, mark-up, or proprietary form, + including any form resulting from conversion by word + processing or hypertext software, but only so long as + *EITHER*: + + [*] The etext, when displayed, is clearly readable, and + does *not* contain characters other than those + intended by the author of the work, although tilde + (~), asterisk (*) and underline (_) characters may + be used to convey punctuation intended by the + author, and additional characters may be used to + indicate hypertext links; OR + + [*] The etext may be readily converted by the reader at + no expense into plain ASCII, EBCDIC or equivalent + form by the program that displays the etext (as is + the case, for instance, with most word processors); + OR + + [*] You provide, or agree to also provide on request at + no additional cost, fee or expense, a copy of the + etext in its original plain ASCII form (or in EBCDIC + or other equivalent proprietary form). + +[2] Honor the etext refund and replacement provisions of this + "Small Print!" statement. + +[3] Pay a trademark license fee to the Foundation of 20% of the + gross profits you derive calculated using the method you + already use to calculate your applicable taxes. If you + don't derive profits, no royalty is due. Royalties are + payable to "Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation" + the 60 days following each date you prepare (or were + legally required to prepare) your annual (or equivalent + periodic) tax return. Please contact us beforehand to + let us know your plans and to work out the details. + +WHAT IF YOU *WANT* TO SEND MONEY EVEN IF YOU DON'T HAVE TO? +Project Gutenberg is dedicated to increasing the number of +public domain and licensed works that can be freely distributed +in machine readable form. + +The Project gratefully accepts contributions of money, time, +public domain materials, or royalty free copyright licenses. +Money should be paid to the: +"Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation." + +If you are interested in contributing scanning equipment or +software or other items, please contact Michael Hart at: +hart@pobox.com + +**END THE SMALL PRINT! FOR PUBLIC DOMAIN ETEXTS*Ver.04.08.01*END** +[Portions of this header are copyright (C) 2001 by Michael S. Hart +and may be reprinted only when these Etexts are free of all fees.] +[Project Gutenberg is a TradeMark and may not be used in any sales +of Project Gutenberg Etexts or other materials be they hardware or +software or any other related product without express permission.] + + + + + +This etext was produced by Dudley P. Duck. + + + + + + + +This etext was produced by Eve Sobol, South Bend, Indiana, USA + +ANNAJANSKA, THE BOLSHEVIK EMPRESS + + +GEORGE BERNARD SHAW + + +ANNAJANSKA is frankly a bravura piece. The modern variety theatre +demands for its "turns" little plays called sketches, to last +twenty minutes or so, and to enable some favorite performer to +make a brief but dazzling appearance on some barely passable +dramatic pretext. Miss Lillah McCarthy and I, as author and +actress, have helped to make one another famous on many serious +occasions, from Man and Superman to Androcles; and Mr Charles +Ricketts has not disdained to snatch moments from his painting +and sculpture to design some wonderful dresses for us. We three +unbent as Mrs Siddons, Sir Joshua Reynolds and Dr Johnson might +have unbent, to devise a turn for the Coliseum variety theatre. +Not that we would set down the art of the variety theatre as +something to be condescended to, or our own art as elephantine. +We should rather crave indulgence as three novices fresh from the +awful legitimacy of the highbrow theatre. + +Well, Miss McCarthy and Mr Ricketts justified themselves easily +in the glamor of the footlights, to the strains of Tchaikovsky's +1812. I fear I did not. I have received only one compliment on my +share; and that was from a friend who said, "It is the only one +of your works that is not too long." So I have made it a page or +two longer, according to my own precept: EMBRACE YOUR REPROACHES: +THEY ARE OFTEN GLORIES IN DISGUISE. + +Annajanska was first performed at the Coliseum Theatre in +London on the 21st January, 1918, with Lillah McCarthy as +the Grand Duchess, Henry Miller as Schneidekind, and Randle +Ayrton as General Strammfest. + + + +ANNAJANSKA, THE BOLSHEVIK EMPRESS + +The General's office in a military station on the east front in +Beotia. An office table with a telephone, writing materials, +official papers, etc., is set across the room. At the end of the +table, a comfortable chair for the General. Behind the chair, a +window. Facing it at the other end of the table, a plain wooden +bench. At the side of the table, with its back to the door, a +common chair, with a typewriter before it. Beside the door, which +is opposite the end of the bench, a rack for caps and coats. +There is nobody in the room. + +General Strammfest enters, followed by Lieutenant Schneidekind. +They hang up their cloaks and caps. Schneidekind takes a little +longer than Strammfest, who comes to the table. + +STRAMMFEST. Schneidekind. + +SCHNEIDEKIND. Yes, sir. + +STRAMMFEST. Have you sent my report yet to the government? [He +sits down.] + +SCHNEIDEKIND [coming to the table]. Not yet, sir. Which +government do you wish it sent to? [He sits down.] + +STRAMMFEST. That depends. What's the latest? Which of them do you +think is most likely to be in power tomorrow morning? + +SCHNEIDEKIND. Well, the provisional government was going strong +yesterday. But today they say that the Prime Minister has shot +himself, and that the extreme left fellow has shot all the +others. + +STRAMMFEST. Yes: that's all very well; but these fellows always +shoot themselves with blank cartridge. + +SCHNEIDEKIND. Still, even the blank cartridge means backing down. +I should send the report to the Maximilianists. + +STRAMMFEST. They're no stronger than the Oppidoshavians; and in +my own opinion the Moderate Red Revolutionaries are as likely to +come out on top as either of them. + +SCHNEIDEKIND. I can easily put a few carbon sheets in the +typewriter and send a copy each to the lot. + +STRAMMFEST. Waste of paper. You might as well send reports to an +infant school. [He throws his head on the table with a groan.] + +SCHNEIDEKIND. Tired out, Sir? + +STRAMMFEST. O Schneidekind, Schneidekind, how can you bear to +live? + +SCHNEIDEKIND. At my age, sir, I ask myself how can I bear to die? + +STRAMMFEST. You are young, young and heartless. You are excited +by the revolution: you are attached to abstract things like +liberty. But my family has served the Panjandrums of Beotia +faithfully for seven centuries. The Panjandrums have kept our +place for us at their courts, honored us, promoted us, shed their +glory on us, made us what we are. When I hear you young men +declaring that you are fighting for civilization, for democracy, +for the overthrow of militarism, I ask myself how can a man shed +his blood for empty words used by vulgar tradesmen and common +laborers: mere wind and stink. [He rises, exalted by his theme.] +A king is a splendid reality, a man raised above us like a god. +You can see him; you can kiss his hand; you can be cheered by his +smile and terrified by his frown. I would have died for my +Panjandrum as my father died for his father. Your toiling +millions were only too honored to receive the toes of our boots +in the proper spot for them when they displeased their betters. +And now what is left in life for me? [He relapses into his chair +discouraged.] My Panjandrum is deposed and transported to herd +with convicts. The army, his pride and glory, is paraded to hear +seditious speeches from penniless rebels, with the colonel +actually forced to take the chair and introduce the speaker. I +myself am made Commander-in-Chief by my own solicitor: a Jew, +Schneidekind! a Hebrew Jew! It seems only yesterday that these +things would have been the ravings of a madman: today they are +the commonplaces of the gutter press. I live now for three +objects only: to defeat the enemy, to restore the Panjandrum, and +to hang my solicitor. + +SCHNEIDEKIND. Be careful, sir: these are dangerous views to utter +nowadays. What if I were to betray you? + +STRAMMFEST. What! + +SCHNEIDEKIND. I won't, of course: my own father goes on just like +that; but suppose I did? + +STRAMMFEST [chuckling]. I should accuse you of treason to the +Revolution, my lad; and they would immediately shoot you, unless +you cried and asked to see your mother before you died, when they +would probably change their minds and make you a brigadier. +Enough. [He rises and expands his chest.] I feel the better for +letting myself go. To business. [He takes up a telegram: opens +it: and is thunderstruck by its contents.] Great heaven! [He +collapses into his chair. This is the worst blow of all. + +SCHNEIDEKIND. What has happened? Are we beaten? + +STRAMMFEST. Man, do you think that a mere defeat could strike me +down as this news does: I, who have been defeated thirteen times +since the war began? O, my master, my master, my Panjandrum! [he +is convulsed with sobs.] + +SCHNEIDEKIND. They have killed him? + +STRAMMFEST. A dagger has been struck through his heart-- + +SCHNEIDEKIND. Good God! + +STRAMMFEST. --and through mine, through mine. + +SCHNEIDEKIND [relieved]. Oh, a metaphorical dagger! I thought you +meant a real one. What has happened? + +STRAMMFEST. His daughter the Grand Duchess Annajanska, she whom +the Panjandrina loved beyond all her other children, has--has-- +[he cannot finish.] + +SCHNEIDEKIND. Committed suicide? + +STRAMMFEST. No. Better if she had. Oh, far far better. + +SCHNEIDEKIND [in hushed tones]. Left the Church? + +STRAMMFEST [shocked]. Certainly not. Do not blaspheme, young man. + +SCHNEIDEKIND. Asked for the vote? + +STRAMMFEST. I would have given it to her with both hands to save +her from this. + +SCHNEIDEKIND. Save her from what? Dash it, sir, out with it. + +STRAMMFEST. She has joined the Revolution. + +SCHNEIDEKIND. But so have you, sir. We've all joined the +Revolution. She doesn't mean it any more than we do. + +STRAMMFEST. Heaven grant you may be right! But that is not the +worst. She had eloped with a young officer. Eloped, Schneidekind, +eloped! + +SCHNEIDEKIND [not particularly impressed]. Yes, Sir. + +STRAMMFEST. Annajanska, the beautiful, the innocent, my master's +daughter! [He buries his face in his hands.] + +The telephone rings. + +SCHNEIDEKIND [taking the receiver]. Yes: G.H.Q. Yes...Don't bawl: +I'm not a general. Who is it speaking?...Why didn't you say so? +don't you know your duty? Next time you will lose your +stripe...Oh, they've made you a colonel, have they? Well, they've +made me a field-marshal: now what have you to say?...Look here: +what did you ring up for? I can't spend the day here listening to +your cheek...What! the Grand Duchess [Strammfest starts.] Where +did you catch her? + +STRAMMFEST [snatching the telephone and listening for the +answer]. Speak louder, will you: I am a General I know that, you +dolt. Have you captured the officer that was with her?... +Damnation! You shall answer for this: you let him go: he bribed +you. You must have seen him: the fellow is in the full dress +court uniform of the Panderobajensky Hussars. I give you twelve +hours to catch him or...what's that you say about the devil? Are +you swearing at me, you...Thousand thunders! [To Schneidekind.] +The swine says that the Grand Duchess is a devil incarnate. [Into +the telephone.] Filthy traitor: is that the way you dare speak of +the daughter of our anointed Panjandrum? I'll-- + +SCHNEIDEKIND [pulling the telephone from his lips]. Take care, +sir. + +STRAMMFEST. I won't take care: I'll have him shot. Let go that +telephone. + +SCHNEIDEKIND. But for her own sake, sir-- + +STRAMMFEST. Eh?-- + +SCHNEIDEKIND. For her own sake they had better send her here. She +will be safe in your hands. + +STRAMMFEST [yielding the receiver]. You are right. Be civil to +him. I should choke [he sits down]. + +SCHNEIDEKIND [into the telephone]. Hullo. Never mind all that: +it's only a fellow here who has been fooling with the telephone. +I had to leave the room for a moment. Wash out: and send the girl +along. We'll jolly soon teach her to behave herself here...Oh, +you've sent her already. Then why the devil didn't you say so, +you--[he hangs up the telephone angrily]. Just fancy: they +started her off this morning: and all this is because the fellow +likes to get on the telephone and hear himself talk now that he +is a colonel. [The telephone rings again. He snatches the +receiver furiously.] What's the matter now?...[To the General.] +It's our own people downstairs. [Into the receiver.] Here! do you +suppose I've nothing else to do than to hang on to the telephone +all day?...What's that? Not men enough to hold her! What do you +mean? [To the General.] She is there, sir. + +STRAMMFEST. Tell them to send her up. I shall have to receive her +without even rising, without kissing her hand, to keep up +appearances before the escort. It will break my heart. + +SCHNEIDEKIND [into the receiver]. Send her up...Tcha! [He hangs +up the receiver.] He says she is halfway up already: they +couldn't hold her. + +The Grand Duchess bursts into the room, dragging with her two +exhausted soldiers hanging on desperately to her arms. She is +enveloped from head to foot by a fur-lined cloak, and wears a fur +cap. + +SCHNEIDEKIND [pointing to the bench]. At the word Go, place your +prisoner on the bench in a sitting posture; and take your seats +right and left of her. Go. + +The two soldiers make a supreme effort to force her to sit down. +She flings them back so that they are forced to sit on the bench +to save themselves from falling backwards over it, and is herself +dragged into sitting between them. The second soldier, holding on +tight to the Grand Duchess with one hand, produces papers with +the other, and waves them towards Schneidekind, who takes them +from him and passes them on to the General. He opens them and +reads them with a grave expression. + +SCHNEIDEKIN. Be good enough to wait, prisoner, until the General +has read the papers on your case. + +THE GRAND DUCHESS [to the soldiers]. Let go. [To Strammfest]. +Tell them to let go, or I'll upset the bench backwards and bash +our three heads on the floor. + +FIRST SOLDIER. No, little mother. Have mercy on the poor. + +STRAMMFEST [growling over the edge of the paper he is reading]. +Hold your tongue. + +THE GRAND DUCHESS [blazing]. Me, or the soldier? + +STRAMMFEST [horrified]. The soldier, madam. + +THE GRAND DUCHESS. Tell him to let go. + +STRAMMFEST. Release the lady. + +The soldiers take their hands off her. One of them wipes his +fevered brow. The other sucks his wrist. + +SCHNEIDKIND [fiercely]. 'ttention! + +The two soldiers sit up stiffly. + +THE GRAND DUCHESS. Oh, let the poor man suck his wrist. It may be +poisoned. I bit it. + +STRAMMFEST [shocked]. You bit a common soldier! + +GRAND DUCHESS. Well, I offered to cauterize it with the poker in +the office stove. But he was afraid. What more could I do? + +SCHNEIDEKIND. Why did you bite him, prisoner? + +THE GRAND DUCHESS. He would not let go. + +STRAMMFEST. Did he let go when you bit him? + +THE GRAND DUCHESS. No. [Patting the soldier on the back]. You +should give the man a cross for his devotion. I could not go on +eating him; so I brought him along with me. + +STRAMMFEST. Prisoner-- + +THE GRAND DUCHESS. Don't call me prisoner, General Strammfest. My +grandmother dandled you on her knee. + +STRAMMFEST [bursting into tears]. O God, yes. Believe me, my +heart is what it was then. + +THE GRAND DUCHESS. Your brain also is what it was then. I will +not be addressed by you as prisoner. + +STRAMMFEST. I may not, for your own sake, call you by your +rightful and most sacred titles. What am I to call you? + +THE GRAND DUCHESS. The Revolution has made us comrades. Call me +comrade. + +STRAMMFEST. I had rather die. + +THE GRAND DUCHESS. Then call me Annajanska; and I will call you +Peter Piper, as grandmamma did. + +STRAMMFEST [painfully agitated]. Schneidekind, you must speak to +her: I cannot--[he breaks down.] + +SCHNEIDEKIND [officially]. The Republic of Beotia has been +compelled to confine the Panjandrum and his family, for their own +safety, within certain bounds. You have broken those bounds. + +STRAMMFEST [taking the word from him]. You are I must say it--a +prisoner. What am I to do with you? + +THE GRAND DUCHESS. You should have thought of that before you +arrested me. + +STRAMMFEST. Come, come, prisoner! do you know what will happen to +you if you compel me to take a sterner tone with you? + +THE GRAND DUCHESS. No. But I know what will happen to you. + +STRAMAIFEST. Pray what, prisoner? + +THE GLAND DUCHESS. Clergyman's sore throat. + +Schneidekind splutters; drops a paper: and conceals his laughter +under the table. + +STRAMMFEST [thunderously]. Lieutenant Schneidekind. + +SCHNEIDEKIND [in a stifled voice]. Yes, Sir. [The table vibrates +visibly.] + +STRAMMFEST. Come out of it, you fool: you're upsetting the ink. + +Schneidekind emerges, red in the face with suppressed mirth. + +STRAMMFEST. Why don't you laugh? Don't you appreciate Her +Imperial Highness's joke? + +SCHNEIDEKIND [suddenly becoming solemn]. I don't want to, sir. + +STRAMMFEST. Laugh at once, sir. I order you to laugh. + +SCHNEIDEKIND [with a touch of temper]. I really can't, sir. [He +sits down decisively.] + +STRAMMFEST [growling at him]. Yah! [He turns impressively to the +Grand Duchess.] Your Imperial Highness desires me to address you +as comrade? + +THE GRAND DUCHESS [rising and waving a red handkerchief]. Long +live the Revolution, comrade! + +STRAMMFEST [rising and saluting]. Proletarians of all lands, +unite. Lieutenant Schneidekind, you will rise and sing the +Marseillaise. + +SCHNEIDEKIND [rising]. But I cannot, sir. I have no voice, no +ear. + +STRAMMFEST. Then sit down; and bury your shame in your +typewriter. [Schneidekind sits down.] Comrade Annajanska, you +have eloped with a young officer. + +THE GRAND DUCHESS [astounded]. General Strammfest, you lie. + +STRAMMFEST. Denial, comrade, is useless. It is through that +officer that your movements have been traced. [The Grand Duchess +is suddenly enlightened, and seems amused. Strammfest continues +an a forensic manner.] He joined you at the Golden Anchor in +Hakonsburg. You gave us the slip there; but the officer was +traced to Potterdam, where you rejoined him and went alone to +Premsylople. What have you done with that unhappy young man? +Where is he? + +THE GRAND DUCHESS [pretending to whisper an important secret]. +Where he has always been. + +STRAMMFEST [eagerly]. Where is that? + +THE GRAND DUCHESS [impetuously]. In your imagination. I came +alone. I am alone. Hundreds of officers travel every day from +Hakonsburg to Potterdam. What do I know about them? + +STRAMMFEST. They travel in khaki. They do not travel in full +dress court uniform as this man did. + +SCHNEIDEKIND. Only officers who are eloping with grand duchesses +wear court uniform: otherwise the grand duchesses could not be +seen with them. + +STRAMMFEST. Hold your tongue. [Schneidekind, in high dudgeon, +folds his arms and retires from the conversation. The General +returns to his paper and to his examination of the Grand +Duchess.] This officer travelled with your passport. What have +you to say to that? + +THE GRAND DUCHESS. Bosh! How could a man travel with a woman's +passport? + +STRAMMFEST. It is quite simple, as you very well know. A dozen +travellers arrive at the boundary. The official collects their +passports. He counts twelve persons; then counts the passports. +If there are twelve, he is satisfied. + +THE GRAND DUCHESS. Then how do you know that one of the passports +was mine? + +STRAMMFEST. A waiter at the Potterdam Hotel looked at the +officer's passport when he was in his bath. It was your passport. + +THE GRAND DUCHESS. Stuff! Why did he not have me arrested? + +STRAMMFEST. When the waiter returned to the hotel with the police +the officer had vanished; and you were there with your own +passport. They knouted him. + +THE GRAND DUCHESS. Oh! Strammfest, send these men away. I must +speak to you alone. + +STRAMMFEST [rising in horror]. No: this is the last straw: I +cannot consent. It is impossible, utterly, eternally impossible, +that a daughter of the Imperial House should speak to any one +alone, were it even her own husband. + +THE GRAND DUCHESS. You forget that there is an exception. She may +speak to a child alone. [She rises.] Strammfest, you have been +dandled on my grandmother's knee. By that gracious action the +dowager Panjandrina made you a child forever. So did Nature, by +the way. I order you to speak to me alone. Do you hear? I order +you. For seven hundred years no member of your family has ever +disobeyed an order from a member of mine. Will you disobey me? + +STRAMMFEST. There is an alternative to obedience. The dead cannot +disobey. [He takes out his pistol and places the muzzle against +his temple.] + +SCHNEIDEKIND [snatching the pistol from him]. For God's sake, +General-- + +STRAMMFEST [attacking him furiously to recover the weapon]. Dog +of a subaltern, restore that pistol and my honor. + +SCHNEIDEKIND [reaching out with the pistol to the Grand Duchess]. +Take it: quick: he is as strong as a bull. + +THE GRAND DUCHESS [snatching it]. Aha! Leave the room, all of you +except the General. At the double! lightning! electricity! [She +fires shot after shot, spattering the bullets about the ankles of +the soldiers. They fly precipitately. She turns to Schneidekind, +who has by this time been flung on the floor by the General.] You +too. [He scrambles up.] March. [He flies to the door.] + +SCHNEIDEKIND [turning at the door]. For your own sake, comrade-- + +THE GRAND DUCHESS [indignantly]. Comrade! You!!! Go. [She fires +two more shots. He vanishes.] + +STRAMMFEST [making an impulsive movement towards her]. My +Imperial Mistress-- + +THE GRAND DUCHESS. Stop. I have one bullet left, if you attempt +to take this from me [putting the pistol to her temple]. + +STRAMMFEST [recoiling, and covering his eyes with his hands]. No +no: put it down: put it down. I promise everything: I swear +anything; but put it down, I implore you. + +THE GRAND DUCHESS [throwing it on the table]. There! + +STRAMMFEST [uncovering his eyes]. Thank God! + +THE GRAND DUCHESS [gently]. Strammfest: I am your comrade. Am I +nothing more to you? + +STRAMMFEST [falling on his knee]. You are, God help me, all that +is left to me of the only power I recognize on earth [he kisses +her hand]. + +THE GRAND DUCHESS [indulgently]. Idolater! When will you learn +that our strength has never been in ourselves, but in your +illusions about us? [She shakes off her kindliness, and sits down +in his chair.] Now tell me, what are your orders? And do you mean +to obey them? + +STRAMMFEST [starting like a goaded ox, and blundering fretfully +about the room]. How can I obey six different dictators, and not +one gentleman among the lot of them? One of them orders me to +make peace with the foreign enemy. Another orders me to offer all +the neutral countries 48 hours to choose between adopting his +views on the single tax and being instantly invaded and +annihilated. A third orders me to go to a damned Socialist +Conference and explain that Beotia will allow no annexations and +no indemnities, and merely wishes to establish the Kingdom of +Heaven on Earth throughout the universe. [He finishes behind +Schneidekind's chair.] + +THE GRAND DUCHESS. Damn their trifling! + +STRAMMFEST. I thank Your Imperial Highness from the bottom of my +heart for that expression. Europe thanks you. + +THE GRAND DUCHESS. M'yes; but--[rising]. Strammfest, you know +that your cause--the cause of the dynasty--is lost. + +STRAMMFEST. You must not say so. It is treason, even from you. +[He sinks, discouraged, into the chair, and covers his face with +his hand.] + +THE GRAND DUCHESS. Do not deceive yourself, General: never again +will a Panjandrum reign in Beotia. [She walks slowly across the +room, brooding bitterly, and thinking aloud.] We are so decayed, +so out of date, so feeble, so wicked in our own despite, that we +have come at last to will our own destruction. + +STRAMMFEST. You are uttering blasphemy. + +THE GRAND DUCHESS. All great truths begin as blasphemies. All the +king's horses and all the king's men cannot set up my father's +throne again. If they could, you would have done it, would you +not? + +STRAMMFEST. God knows I would! + +THE GRAND DUCHESS. You really mean that? You would keep the +people in their hopeless squalid misery? you would fill those +infamous prisons again with the noblest spirits in the land? you +would thrust the rising sun of liberty back into the sea of blood +from which it has risen? And all because there was in the middle +of the dirt and ugliness and horror a little patch of court +splendor in which you could stand with a few orders on your +uniform, and yawn day after day and night after night in +unspeakable boredom until your grave yawned wider still, and you +fell into it because you had nothing better to do. How can you be +so stupid, so heartless? + +STRAMMFEST. You must be mad to think of royalty in such a way. I +never yawned at court. The dogs yawned; but that was because they +were dogs: they had no imagination, no ideals, no sense of honor +and dignity to sustain them. + +THE GRAND DUCHESS. My poor Strammfest: you were not often enough +at court to tire of it. You were mostly soldiering; and when you +came home to have a new order pinned on your breast, your +happiness came through looking at my father and mother and at me, +and adoring us. Was that not so? + +STRAMMFEST. Do YOU reproach me with it? I am not ashamed of it. + +THE GRAND DUCHESS. Oh, it was all very well for you, Strammfest. +But think of me, of me! standing there for you to gape at, and +knowing that I was no goddess, but only a girl like any other +girl! It was cruelty to animals: you could have stuck up a wax +doll or a golden calf to worship; it would not have been bored. + +STRAMMFEST. Stop; or I shall renounce my allegiance to you. I +have had women flogged for such seditious chatter as this. + +THE GRAND DUCHESS. Do not provoke me to send a bullet through +your head for reminding me of it. + +STRAMMFEST. You always had low tastes. You are no true daughter +of the Panjandrums: you are a changeling, thrust into the +Panjandrina's bed by some profligate nurse. I have heard stories +of your childhood: of how-- + +THE GRAND DUCHESS. Ha, ha! Yes: they took me to the circus when I +was a child. It was my first moment of happiness, my first +glimpse of heaven. I ran away and joined the troupe. They caught +me and dragged me back to my gilded cage; but I had tasted +freedom; and they never could make me forget it. + +STRAMMFEST. Freedom! To be the slave of an acrobat! to be +exhibited to the public! to-- + +THE GRAND DUCHESS. Oh, I was trained to that. I had learnt that +part of the business at court. + +STRAMMFEST. You had not been taught to strip yourself half naked +and turn head over heels-- + +THE GRAND DUCHESS. Man, I WANTED to get rid of my swaddling +clothes and turn head over heels. I wanted to, I wanted to, I +wanted to. I can do it still. Shall I do it now? + +STRAMMFEST. If you do, I swear I will throw myself from the +window so that I may meet your parents in heaven without having +my medals torn from my breast by them. + +THE GRAND DUCHESS. Oh, you are incorrigible. You are mad, +infatuated. You will not believe that we royal divinities are +mere common flesh and blood even when we step down from our +pedestals and tell you ourselves what a fool you are. I will +argue no more with you: I will use my power. At a word from me +your men will turn against you: already half of them do not +salute you; and you dare not punish them: you have to pretend not +to notice it. + +STRAMMFEST. It is not for you to taunt me with that if it is so. + +THE GRAND DUCHESS. [haughtily]. Taunt! I condescend to taunt! To +taunt a common General! You forget yourself, sir. + +STRAMMFEST [dropping on his knee submissively]. Now at last you +speak like your royal self. + +THE GRAND DUCHESS. Oh, Strammfest, Strammfest, they have driven +your slavery into your very bones. Why did you not spit in my +face?. + +STRAMMFEST [rising with a shudder]. God forbid! + +THE GRAND DUCHESS. Well, since you will be my slave, take your +orders from me. I have not come here to save our wretched family +and our bloodstained crown. I am come to save the Revolution. + +STRAMMFEST. Stupid as I am, I have come to think that I had +better save that than save nothing. But what will the Revolution +do for the people? Do not be deceived by the fine speeches of the +revolutionary leaders and the pamphlets of the revolutionary +writers. How much liberty is there where they have gained the +upper hand? Are they not hanging, shooting, imprisoning as much +as ever we did? Do they ever tell the people the truth? No: if +the truth does not suit them they spread lies instead, and make +it a crime to tell the truth. + +THE GRAND DUCHESS. Of course they do. Why should they not? + +STRAMMFEST [hardly able to believe his ears]. Why should they +not? + +THE GRAND DUCHESS. Yes: why should they not? We did it. You did +it, whip in hand: you flogged women for teaching children to +read. + +STRAMMFEST. To read sedition. To read Karl Marx. + +THP GRAND DUCHESS. Pshaw! How could they learn to read the Bible +without learning to read Karl Marx? Why do you not stand to your +guns and justify what you did, instead of making silly excuses? +Do you suppose I think flogging a woman worse than flogging a +man? I, who am a woman myself! + +STRAMMFEST. I am at a loss to understand your Imperial Highness. +You seem to me to contradict yourself. + +THE GRAND DUCHESS. Nonsense! I say that if the people cannot +govern themselves, they must be governed by somebody. If they +will not do their duty without being half forced and half +humbugged, somebody must force them and humbug them. Some +energetic and capable minority must always be in power. Well, I +am on the side of the energetic minority whose principles I agree +with. The Revolution is as cruel as we were; but its aims are my +aims. Therefore I stand for the Revolution. + +STRAMMFEST. You do not know what you are saying. This is pure +Bolshevism. Are you, the daughter of a Panjandrum, a Bolshevist? + +THE GRAND DUCHESS. I am anything that will make the world less +like a prison and more like a circus. + +STRAMMFEST. Ah! You still want to be a circus star. + +THE GRAND DUCHESS. Yes, and be billed as the Bolshevik Empress. +Nothing shall stop me. You have your orders, General Strammfest: +save the Revolution. + +STRAMMFEST. What Revolution? Which Revolution? No two of your +rabble of revolutionists mean the same thing by the Revolution +What can save a mob in which every man is rushing in a different +direction? + +THE GRAND DUCHESS. I will tell you. The war can save it. + +STRAMMFEST. The war? + +THE GRAND DUCHESS. Yes, the war. Only a great common danger and a +great common duty can unite us and weld these wrangling factions +into a solid commonwealth. + +STRAMMFEST. Bravo! War sets everything right: I have always said +so. But what is a united people without a united army? And what +can I do? I am only a soldier. I cannot make speeches: I have won +no victories: they will not rally to my call [again he sinks into +his chair with his former gesture of discouragement]. + +THE GRAND DUCHESS. Are you sure they will not rally to mine? + +STRAMMFEST. Oh, if only you were a man and a soldier! + +THE GRAND DUCHESS. Suppose I find you a man and a soldier? + +STRAMMFEST [rising in a fury]. Ah! the scoundrel you eloped with! +You think you will shove this fellow into an army command, over +my head. Never. + +THE GRAND DUCHESS. You promised everything. You swore anything. +[She marches as if in front of a regiment.] I know that this man +alone can rouse the army to enthusiasm. + +STRAMMFEST. Delusion! Folly! He is some circus acrobat; and you +are in love with him. + +THE GRAND DUCHESS. I swear I am not in love with him. I swear I +will never marry him. + +STRAMMFEST. Then who is he? + +THE GRAND DUCHESS. Anybody in the world but you would have +guessed long ago. He is under your very eyes. + +STRAMMFEST [staring past her right and left]. Where? + +THE GRAND DUCHESS. Look out of the window. + +He rushes to the window, looking for the officer. The Grand +Duchess takes off her cloak and appears in the uniform of the +Panderobajensky Hussars. + +STRAMMFEST [peering through the window]. Where is he? I can see +no one. + +THE GRAND DUCHESS. Here, silly. + +STRAMMFEST [turning]. You! Great Heavens! The Bolshevik Empress! + + + + + +End of Project Gutenberg Etext Annajanska, the Bolshevik Empress, by Shaw + |