initial commit of ebook 3237HEADmain

13 files changed, 5573 insertions, 0 deletions

diff --git a/.gitattributes b/.gitattributes
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..6833f05
--- /dev/null
+++ b/.gitattributes
@@ -0,0 +1,3 @@
+* text=auto
+*.txt text
+*.md text
diff --git a/3237-0.txt b/3237-0.txt
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..c821144
--- /dev/null
+++ b/3237-0.txt
@@ -0,0 +1,1790 @@
+The Project Gutenberg eBook, The Garotters, by William D. Howells
+
+
+This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere in the United States and most
+other parts of the world at no cost and with almost no restrictions 
+whatsoever.  You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms of
+the Project Gutenberg License included with this eBook or online at 
+www.gutenberg.org.  If you are not located in the United States, you'll have
+to check the laws of the country where you are located before using this ebook.
+
+
+
+
+Title: The Garotters
+
+
+Author: William D. Howells
+
+
+
+Release Date: September 24, 2014  [eBook #3237]
+[This file was first posted on 5 February 2001]
+
+Language: English
+
+Character set encoding: UTF-8
+
+
+***START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE GAROTTERS***
+
+
+Transcribed from the 1897 David Douglas edition by David Price, email
+ccx074@pglaf.org
+
+                          [Picture: Book cover]
+
+
+
+
+
+                              THE GAROTTERS
+
+
+                                    BY
+
+                            WILLIAM D. HOWELLS
+
+                      [Picture: Decorative graphic]
+
+                            _Author’s Edition_
+
+                                * * * * *
+
+                                EDINBURGH
+                       DAVID DOUGLAS, CASTLE STREET
+                                   1897
+
+               _For leave to act_, _apply to the publisher_
+
+                          _All rights reserved_
+
+                                * * * * *
+
+              EDINBURGH: Printed by T. and A. CONSTABLE for
+                              DAVID DOUGLAS
+
+                    LONDON: SIMPKIN, MARSHALL AND CO.
+
+
+
+
+PART FIRST
+
+
+I
+MRS. ROBERTS; THEN MR. ROBERTS
+
+
+AT the window of her apartment in Hotel Bellingham, Mrs. Roberts stands
+looking out into the early nightfall.  A heavy snow is driving without,
+and from time to time the rush of the wind and the sweep of the flakes
+against the panes are heard.  At the sound of hurried steps in the
+anteroom, Mrs. Roberts turns from the window, and runs to the _portière_,
+through which she puts her head.
+
+MRS. ROBERTS: ‘Is that you, Edward?  So dark here!  We ought really to
+keep the gas turned up all the time.’
+
+MR. ROBERTS, in a muffled voice, from without: ‘Yes, it’s I.’
+
+MRS. ROBERTS: ‘Well, hurry in to the fire, do!  Ugh, what a storm!  Do
+you suppose anybody will come?  You must be half frozen, you poor thing!
+Come quick, or you’ll certainly perish!’  She flies from the _portière_
+to the fire burning on the hearth, pokes it, flings on a log, jumps back,
+brushes from her dress with a light shriek the sparks driven out upon it,
+and continues talking incessantly in a voice lifted for her husband to
+hear in the anteroom.  ‘If I’d dreamed it was any such storm as this, I
+should never have let you go out in it in the world.  It wasn’t at all
+necessary to have the flowers.  I could have got on perfectly well, and I
+believe _now_ the table would look better without them.  The
+chrysanthemums would have been quite enough; and I know you’ve taken more
+cold.  I could tell it by your voice as soon as you spoke; and just as
+quick as they’re gone to-night I’m going to have you bathe your feet in
+mustard and hot water, and take eight of aconite, and go straight to bed.
+And I don’t want you to eat very much at dinner, dear, and you must be
+sure not to drink any coffee, or the aconite won’t be of the least use.’
+She turns and encounters her husband, who enters through the _portière_,
+his face pale, his eyes wild, his white necktie pulled out of knot, and
+his shirt front rumpled.  ‘Why, Edward, what in the world is the matter?
+What has happened?’
+
+ROBERTS, sinking into a chair: ‘Get me a glass of water,
+Agnes—wine—whisky—brandy—’
+
+MRS. ROBERTS, bustling wildly about: ‘Yes, yes.  But what—Bella!
+Bridget!  Maggy!—Oh, I’ll go for it myself, and I _won’t_ stop to listen!
+Only—only don’t die!’  While Roberts remains with his eyes shut, and his
+head sunk on his breast in token of extreme exhaustion, she disappears
+and reappears through the door leading to her chamber, and then through
+the _portière_ cutting off the dining-room.  She finally descends upon
+her husband with a flagon of cologne in one hand, a small decanter of
+brandy in the other, and a wineglass held in the hollow of her arm
+against her breast.  She contrives to set the glass down on the mantel
+and fill it from the flagon, then she turns with the decanter in her
+hand, and while she presses the glass to her husband’s lips, begins to
+pour the brandy on his head.  ‘Here! this will revive you, and it’ll
+refresh you to have this cologne on your head.’
+
+ROBERTS, rejecting a mouthful of the cologne with a furious sputter, and
+springing to his feet: ‘Why, you’ve given me the cologne to _drink_,
+Agnes!  What are you about?  Do you want to poison me?  Isn’t it enough
+to be robbed at six o’clock on the Common, without having your head
+soaked in brandy, and your whole system scented up like a barber’s shop,
+when you get home?’
+
+MRS. ROBERTS: ‘Robbed?’  She drops the wineglass, puts the decanter down
+on the hearth, and carefully bestowing the flagon of cologne in the
+wood-box, abandons herself to justice: ‘Then let them come for me at
+once, Edward!  If I could have the heart to send you out in such a night
+as this for a few wretched rosebuds, I’m quite equal to poisoning you.
+Oh, Edward, _who_ robbed you?’
+
+ROBERTS: ‘That’s what I don’t know.’  He continues to wipe his head with
+his handkerchief, and to sputter a little from time to time.  ‘All I know
+is that when I got—phew!—to that dark spot by the Frog Pond, just
+by—phew!—that little group of—phew!—evergreens, you know—phew!—’
+
+MRS. ROBERTS: ‘Yes, yes; go on!  I can bear it, Edward.’
+
+ROBERTS: ‘—a man brushed heavily against me, and then hurried on in the
+other direction.  I had unbuttoned my coat to look at my watch under the
+lamp-post, and after he struck against me I clapped my hand to my
+waistcoat, and—phew!—’
+
+MRS. ROBERTS: ‘Waistcoat!  Yes!’
+
+ROBERTS: ‘—found my watch gone.’
+
+MRS. ROBERTS: ‘What!  Your watch?  The watch Willis gave you?  Made out
+of the gold that he mined himself when he first went out to California?
+Don’t ask me to believe it, Edward!  But I’m only too glad that you
+escaped with your life.  Let them have the watch and welcome.  Oh, nay
+dear, dear husband!’  She approaches him with extended arms, and then
+suddenly arrests herself.  ‘But you’ve got it on!’
+
+ROBERTS, with as much returning dignity as can comport with his
+dishevelled appearance: ‘Yes; I took it from him.’  At his wife’s
+speechless astonishment: ‘I went after him and took it from him.’  He
+sits down, and continues with resolute calm, while his wife remains
+standing before him motionless: ‘Agnes, I don’t know how I came to do it.
+I wouldn’t have believed I could do it.  I’ve never thought that I had
+much courage—physical courage; but when I felt my watch was gone, a sort
+of frenzy came over me.  I wasn’t hurt; and for the first time in my life
+I realised what an abominable outrage theft was.  The thought that at six
+o’clock in the evening, in the very heart of a great city like Boston, an
+inoffensive citizen could be assaulted and robbed, made me furious.  I
+didn’t call out.  I simply buttoned my coat tight round me and turned and
+ran after the fellow.’
+
+MRS. ROBERTS: ‘Edward!’
+
+ROBERTS: ‘Yes, I did.  He hadn’t got half-a-dozen rods away—it all took
+place in a flash—and I could easily run him down.  He was considerably
+larger than I—’
+
+MRS. ROBERTS: ‘Oh!’
+
+ROBERTS: ‘—and he looked young and very athletic; but these things didn’t
+seem to make any impression on me.’
+
+MRS. ROBERTS: ‘Oh, I wonder that you live to tell the tale, Edward!’
+
+ROBERTS: ‘Well, I wonder a little at myself.  I don’t set up for a great
+deal of—’
+
+MRS. ROBERTS: ‘But I always knew you had it!  Go on.  Oh, when I tell
+Willis of this!  Had the robber any accomplices?  Were there many of
+them?’
+
+ROBERTS: ‘I only saw one.  And I saw that my only chance was to take him
+at a disadvantage.  I sprang upon him, and pulled him over on his back.
+I merely said, “I’ll trouble you for that watch of mine, if you please,”
+jerked open his coat, snatched the watch from his pocket—I broke the
+chain, I see—and then left him and ran again.  He didn’t make the
+slightest resistance nor utter a word.  Of course it wouldn’t do for him
+to make any noise about it, and I dare say he was glad to get off so
+easily.’  With affected nonchalance: ‘I’m pretty badly rumpled, I see.
+He fell against me, and a scuffle like that doesn’t improve one’s
+appearance.’
+
+MRS. ROBERTS, very solemnly: ‘Edward!  I don’t know what to say!  Of
+course it makes my blood run cold to realise what you have been through,
+and to think what might have happened; but I think you behaved
+splendidly.  Why, I never heard of such perfect heroism!  You needn’t
+tell _me_ that he made no resistance.  There was a deadly struggle—your
+necktie and everything about you shows it.  And you needn’t think there
+was only one of them—’
+
+ROBERTS, modestly: ‘I don’t believe there was more.’
+
+MRS. ROBERTS: ‘Nonsense!  There are _always_ two!  I’ve read the accounts
+of those garottings.  And to think you not only got out of their clutches
+alive, but got your property back—Willis’s watch!  Oh, what _will_ Willis
+say?  But I know how proud of you he’ll be.  Oh, I wish I could scream it
+from the house-tops.  Why didn’t you call the police?’
+
+ROBERTS: ‘I didn’t think—I hadn’t time to think.’
+
+MRS. ROBERTS: ‘No matter.  I’m glad you have _all_ the glory of it.  I
+don’t believe you half realise what you’ve been through now.  And perhaps
+this was the robbers’ first attempt, and it will be a lesson to them.  Oh
+yes!  I’m glad you let them escape, Edward.  They may have families.  If
+every one behaved as you’ve done, there would soon be an end of
+garotting.  But, oh!  I can’t bear to think of the danger you’ve run.
+And I want you to promise me never, never to undertake such a thing
+again!’
+
+ROBERTS: ‘Well, I don’t know—’
+
+MRS. ROBERTS: ‘Yes, yes; you must!  Suppose you had got killed in that
+awful struggle with those reckless wretches tugging to get away from you!
+Think of the children!  Why, you might have burst a blood-vessel!  Will
+you promise, Edward?  Promise this instant, on your bended knees, just as
+if you were in a court of justice!’  Mrs. Roberts’s excitement mounts,
+and she flings herself at her husband’s feet, and pulls his face down to
+hers with the arm she has thrown about his neck.  ‘Will you promise?’
+
+
+
+II
+MRS. CRASHAW; MR. AND MRS. ROBERTS
+
+
+MRS. CRASHAW, entering unobserved: ‘Promise you what, Agnes?  The man
+doesn’t smoke _now_.  What more can you ask?’  She starts back from the
+spectacle of Roberts’s disordered dress.  ‘Why, what’s happened to you,
+Edward?’
+
+MRS. ROBERTS, springing to her feet: ‘Oh, you may well ask that, Aunt
+Mary!  Happened?  You ought to fall down and worship him!  And you _will_
+when you know what he’s been through.  He’s been robbed!’
+
+MRS. CRASHAW: ‘Robbed?  What nonsense!  Who robbed him?  _Where_ was he
+robbed?’
+
+MRS. ROBERTS: ‘He was attacked by two garotters—’
+
+ROBERTS: ‘No, no—’
+
+MRS. ROBERTS: ‘Don’t speak, Edward!  I _know_ there were two.  On the
+Common.  Not half an hour ago.  As he was going to get me some rosebuds.
+In the midst of this terrible storm.’
+
+MRS. CRASHAW: ‘Is this true, Edward?’
+
+MRS. ROBERTS: ‘Don’t answer, Edward!  One of the band threw his arm round
+Edward’s neck—so.’  She illustrates by garotting Mrs. Crashaw, who
+disengages herself with difficulty.
+
+MRS. CRASHAW: ‘Mercy, child!  What _are_ you doing to my lace?’
+
+MRS. ROBERTS: ‘And the other one snatched his watch, and ran as fast as
+he could.’
+
+MRS. CRASHAW: ‘Willis’s watch?  Why, he’s got it on.’
+
+MRS. ROBERTS, with proud delight: ‘Exactly what I said when he told me.’
+Then, very solemnly: ‘And do you know _why_ he’s got it on?—’Sh, Edward!
+I _will_ tell!  Because he ran after them and took it back again.’
+
+MRS. CRASHAW: ‘Why, they might have killed him!’
+
+MRS. ROBERTS: ‘Of _course_ they might.  But _Edward_ didn’t care.  The
+idea of being robbed at six o’clock on the Common made him so furious
+that he scorned to cry out for help, or call the police, or anything; but
+he just ran after them—’
+
+ROBERTS: ‘Agnes!  Agnes!  There was only _one_.’
+
+MRS. ROBERTS: ‘Nonsense, Edward!  How could you tell, so excited as you
+were?—And caught hold of the largest of the wretches—a perfect young
+giant—’
+
+ROBERTS: ‘No, no; not a _giant_, my dear.’
+
+MRS. ROBERTS: ‘Well, he was _young_, anyway!—And flung him on the
+ground.’  She advances upon Mrs. Crashaw in her enthusiasm.
+
+MRS. CRASHAW: ‘Don’t you fling _me_ on the ground, Agnes!  I won’t have
+it.’
+
+MRS. ROBERTS: ‘And tore his coat open, while all the rest were tugging at
+him, and snatched his watch, and then—and then just walked coolly away.’
+
+ROBERTS: ‘No, my dear; I ran as fast as I could.’
+
+MRS. ROBERTS: ‘Well, _ran_.  It’s quite the same thing, and I’m just as
+proud of you as if you had walked.  Of course you were not going to throw
+your life away.’
+
+MRS. CRASHAW: ‘I think he did a very silly thing in going after them at
+all.’
+
+ROBERTS: ‘Why, of course, if I’d thought twice about it, I shouldn’t have
+done it.’
+
+MRS. ROBERTS: ‘Of course you wouldn’t, dear!  And that’s what I want him
+to promise, Aunt Mary: never to do it again, no matter _how_ much he’s
+provoked.  I want him to promise it right here in your presence, Aunt
+Mary!’
+
+MRS. CRASHAW: ‘I think it’s much more important he should put on another
+collar and—shirt, if he’s going to see company.’
+
+MRS. ROBERTS: ‘Yes; go right off at once, Edward.  How you _do_ think of
+things, Aunt Mary!  I really suppose I should have gone on all night and
+never noticed his looks.  Run, Edward, and do it, dear.  But—kiss me
+first!  Oh, it _don’t_ seem as if you could be alive and well after it
+all!  Are you sure you’re not hurt?’
+
+ROBERTS, embracing her: ‘No; I’m all right.’
+
+MRS. ROBERTS: ‘And you’re not injured internally?  Sometimes they’re
+injured internally—aren’t they, Aunt Mary?—and it doesn’t show till
+months afterwards.  Are you sure?’
+
+ROBERTS, making a cursory examination of his ribs with his hands: ‘Yes, I
+think so.’
+
+MRS. ROBERTS: ‘And you don’t feel any bad effects from the cologne _now_?
+Just think, Aunt Mary, I gave him cologne to drink, and poured the brandy
+on his head, when he came in!  But I was determined to keep calm,
+whatever I did.  And if I’ve poisoned him I’m quite willing to die for
+it—oh, quite!  I would gladly take the blame of it before the whole
+world.’
+
+MRS. CRASHAW: ‘Well, for pity’s sake, let the man go and make himself
+decent.  There’s your bell now.’
+
+MRS. ROBERTS: ‘Yes, do go, Edward.  But—kiss me—’
+
+MRS. CRASHAW: ‘He _did_ kiss you, Agnes.  Don’t be a simpleton!’
+
+MRS. ROBERTS: ‘Did he?  Well, kiss me again, then, Edward.  And now do
+go, dear.  M-m-m-m.’  The inarticulate endearments represented by these
+signs terminate in a wild embrace, protracted halfway across the room, in
+the height of which Mr. Willis Campbell enters.
+
+
+
+III
+MR. CAMPBELL, MRS. CRASHAW, MR. AND MRS. ROBERTS
+
+
+WILLIS, pausing in contemplation: ‘Hello!  What’s the matter?  What’s she
+trying to get out of you, Roberts?  Don’t you do it, anyway, old fellow.’
+
+MRS. ROBERTS, in an ecstasy of satisfaction: ‘Willis!  Oh, you’ve come in
+time to see him just as he is.  Look at him, Willis!’  In the excess of
+her emotion she twitches her husband about, and with his arm fast in her
+clutch, presents him in the disadvantageous effect of having just been
+taken into custody.  Under these circumstances Roberts’s attempt at an
+expression of diffident heroism fails; he looks sneaking, he looks
+guilty, and his eyes fall under the astonished regard of his
+brother-in-law.
+
+WILLIS: ‘What’s the matter with him?  What’s he been doing?’
+
+MRS. ROBERTS: ‘’Sh, Edward!  What’s he been doing?  What does he look as
+if he had been doing?’
+
+MRS. CRASHAW: ‘Agnes—’
+
+WILLIS: ‘He looks as if he had been signing the pledge.  And he—smells
+like it.’
+
+MRS. ROBERTS: ‘For shame, Willis!  I should think you’d sink through the
+floor.  Edward, not a word!  I _am_ ashamed of him, if he _is_ my
+brother.’
+
+WILLIS: ‘Why, what in the world’s up, Agnes?’
+
+MRS. ROBERTS: ‘Up?  He’s been _robbed_!—robbed on the Common, not five
+minutes ago!  A whole gang of garotters surrounded him under the Old
+Elm—or just where it used to be—and took his watch away!  And he ran
+after them, and knocked the largest of the gang down, and took it back
+again.  He wasn’t hurt, but we’re afraid he’s been injured internally; he
+may be bleeding internally _now_—Oh, do you think he is, Willis?  Don’t
+you think we ought to send for a physician?—That, and the cologne I gave
+him to drink.  It’s the brandy I poured on his head makes him smell so.
+And he all so exhausted he couldn’t speak, and I didn’t know what I was
+doing, either; but he’s promised—oh yes, he’s promised!—never, never to
+do it again.’  She again flings her arms about her husband, and then
+turns proudly to her brother.
+
+WILLIS: ‘Do you know what it means, Aunt Mary?’
+
+MRS. CRASHAW: ‘Not in the least!  But I’ve no doubt that Edward can
+explain, after he’s changed his linen—’
+
+MRS. ROBERTS: ‘Oh yes, do go, Edward!  Not but what I should be proud and
+happy to have you appear just as you are before the whole world, if it
+was only to put Willis down with his jokes about your absent-mindedness,
+and his boasts about those California desperadoes of his.’
+
+ROBERTS: ‘Come, come, Agnes!  I _must_ protest against your—’
+
+MRS. ROBERTS: ‘Oh, I know it doesn’t become me to praise your courage,
+darling!  But I should like to know what Willis would have done, with all
+his California experience, if a garotter had taken his watch?’
+
+WILLIS: ‘I should have let him keep it, and pay five dollars a quarter
+himself for getting it cleaned and spoiled.  Anybody but a literary man
+would.  How many of them were there, Roberts?’
+
+ROBERTS: ‘I only saw one.’
+
+MRS. ROBERTS: ‘But of course there were more.  How could he tell, in the
+dark and excitement?  And the one he did see was a perfect giant; so you
+can imagine what the rest must have been like.’
+
+WILLIS: ‘Did you really knock him down?’
+
+MRS. ROBERTS: ‘Knock him down?  Of course he did.’
+
+MRS. CRASHAW: ‘Agnes, _will_ you hold your tongue, and let the men
+alone?’
+
+MRS. ROBERTS, whimpering: ‘I can’t, Aunt Mary.  And you couldn’t, if it
+was yours.’
+
+ROBERTS: ‘I pulled him over backwards.’
+
+MRS. ROBERTS: ‘There, Willis!’
+
+WILLIS: ‘And grabbed your watch from him?’
+
+ROBERTS: ‘I was in quite a frenzy; I really hardly knew what I was
+doing—’
+
+MRS. ROBERTS: ‘And he didn’t call for the police, or anything—’
+
+WILLIS: ‘Ah, that showed presence of mind!  He knew it wouldn’t have been
+any use.’
+
+MRS. ROBERTS: ‘And when he had got his watch away from them, he just let
+them go, because they had families dependent on them.’
+
+WILLIS: ‘I should have let them go in the first place, but you behaved
+handsomely in the end, Roberts; there’s no denying that.  And when you
+came in she gave you cologne to drink, and poured brandy on your head.
+It must have revived you.  I should think it would wake the dead.’
+
+MRS. ROBERTS: ‘I was all excitement, Willis—’
+
+WILLIS: ‘No, I should think from the fact that you had set the decanter
+here on the hearth, and put your cologne into the wood-box, you were
+perfectly calm, Agnes.’  He takes them up and hands them to her.  ‘Quite
+as calm as usual.’  The door-bell rings.
+
+MRS. CRASHAW: ‘Willis, _will_ you let that ridiculous man go away and
+make himself presentable before people begin to come?’  The bell rings
+violently, peal upon peal.
+
+MRS. ROBERTS: ‘Oh, my goodness, what’s that?  It’s the garotters—I know
+it is; and we shall all be murdered in our beds!’
+
+MRS. CRASHAW: ‘What in the world can it—’
+
+WILLIS: ‘Why don’t your girl answer the bell, Agnes?  Or I’ll go myself.’
+The bell rings violently again.
+
+MRS. ROBERTS: ‘_No_, Willis, you sha’n’t!  Don’t leave me, Edward!  Aunt
+Mary!—Oh, if we _must_ die, let us all die together!  Oh, my poor
+children!  Ugh!  What’s that?’  The servant-maid opens the outer door,
+and uttering a shriek, rushes in through the drawing-room _portière_.
+
+BELLA THE MAID: ‘Oh, my goodness!  Mrs. Roberts, it’s Mr. Bemis!’
+
+MRS. ROBERTS: ‘Which Mr. Bemis?’
+
+ROBERTS: ‘What’s the matter with him?’
+
+MRS. CRASHAW: ‘Why doesn’t she show him in?’
+
+WILLIS: ‘Has _he_ been garotting somebody too?’
+
+
+
+SCENE IV: MR. BEMIS, MR. CAMPBELL, MR. AND MRS. ROBERTS
+
+
+BEMIS, appearing through the _portière_: ‘I—I beg your pardon, Mrs.
+Roberts.  I oughtn’t to present myself in this state—I—  But I thought
+I’d better stop on my way home and report, so that my son needn’t be
+alarmed at my absence when he comes.  I—’  He stops, exhausted, and
+regards the others with a wild stare, while they stand taking note of his
+disordered coat, his torn vest, and his tumbled hat.  ‘I’ve just been
+robbed—’
+
+MRS. ROBERTS: ‘Robbed?  Why, _Edward_ has been robbed too.’
+
+BEMIS: ‘—coming through the Common—’
+
+MRS. ROBERTS: ‘Yes, _Edward_ was coming through the Common.’
+
+BEMIS: ‘—of my watch—’
+
+MRS. ROBERTS, in rapturous admiration of the coincidence: ‘Oh, and it was
+Edward’s _watch_ they took!’
+
+WILLIS: ‘It’s a parallel case, Agnes.  Pour him out a glass of cologne to
+drink, and rub his head with brandy.  And you might let him sit down and
+rest while you’re enjoying the excitement.’
+
+MRS. ROBERTS, in hospitable remorse: ‘Oh, what am I thinking of!  Here,
+Edward—or no, you’re too weak, you mustn’t.  Willis, _you_ help me to
+help him to the sofa.’
+
+MRS. CRASHAW: ‘I think you’d better help him off with his overcoat and
+his arctics.’  To the maid: ‘Here, Bella, if you haven’t quite taken
+leave of your wits, undo his shoes.’
+
+ROBERTS: ‘_I’ll_ help him off with his coat—’
+
+BEMIS: ‘Careful! careful!  I may be injured internally.’
+
+MRS. ROBERTS: ‘Oh, if you only _were_, Mr. Bemis, perhaps I could
+persuade Edward that he was too: I _know_ he is.  Edward, don’t exert
+yourself!  Aunt Mary, will you _stop_ him, or do you all wish to see me
+go distracted here before your eyes?’
+
+WILLIS, examining the overcoat which Roberts has removed: ‘Well, you
+won’t have much trouble buttoning and unbuttoning this coat for the
+present.’
+
+BEMIS: ‘They tore it open, and tore my watch from my vest pocket—’
+
+WILLIS, looking at the vest: ‘I see.  Pretty lively work.  Were there
+many of them?’
+
+BEMIS: ‘There must have been two at least—’
+
+MRS. ROBERTS: ‘There were half a dozen in the gang that attacked Edward.’
+
+BEMIS: ‘One of them pulled me violently over on my back—’
+
+MRS. ROBERTS: ‘Edward’s put _his_ arm round his neck and choked him.’
+
+MRS. CRASHAW: ‘Agnes!’
+
+MRS. ROBERTS: ‘I _know_ he did, Aunt Mary.’
+
+BEMIS: ‘And the other tore my watch out of my pocket.’
+
+MRS. ROBERTS: ‘_Edward’s_—’
+
+MRS. CRASHAW: ‘Agnes, I’m thoroughly ashamed of you.  _Will_ you stop
+interrupting?’
+
+BEMIS: ‘And left me lying in the snow.’
+
+MRS. ROBERTS: ‘And then he ran after them, and snatched his watch away
+again in spite of them all; and he didn’t call for the police, or
+anything, because it was their first offence, and he couldn’t bear to
+think of their suffering families.’
+
+BEMIS, with a stare of profound astonishment: ‘Who?’
+
+MRS. ROBERTS: ‘Edward.  Didn’t I _say_ Edward, all the time?’
+
+BEMIS: ‘I thought you meant me.  I didn’t think of pursuing them; but you
+may be very sure that if there had been a policeman within call—of course
+there wasn’t one within cannon-shot—I should have handed the scoundrels
+over without the slightest remorse.’
+
+ROBERTS: ‘Oh!’  He sinks into a chair with a slight groan.
+
+WILLIS: ‘What is it?’
+
+ROBERTS: ‘’Sh!  Don’t say anything.  But—stay here.  I want to speak with
+you, Willis.’
+
+BEMIS, with mounting wrath: ‘I should not have hesitated an instant to
+give the rascal in charge, no matter who was dependent upon him—no matter
+if he were my dearest friend, my own brother.’
+
+ROBERTS, under his breath: ‘Gracious powers!’
+
+BEMIS: ‘And while I am very sorry to disagree with Mr. Roberts, I can’t
+help feeling that he made a great mistake in allowing the ruffians to
+escape.’
+
+MRS. CRASHAW, with severity: ‘I think you are quite right, Mr. Bemis.’
+
+BEMIS: ‘Probably it was the same gang attacked us both.  After escaping
+from Mr. Roberts they fell upon me.’
+
+MRS. CRASHAW: ‘I haven’t a doubt of it.’
+
+ROBERTS, _sotto voce_ to his brother-in-law: ‘I think I’ll ask you to go
+with me to my room, Willis.  Don’t alarm Agnes, please.  I—I feel quite
+faint.’
+
+MRS. ROBERTS, crestfallen: ‘I can’t feel that Edward was to blame.
+Ed—Oh, I suppose he’s gone off to make himself presentable.  But
+Willis—Where’s Willis, Aunt Mary?’
+
+MRS. CRASHAW: ‘Probably gone with him to help him.’
+
+MRS. ROBERTS: ‘Oh, he _saw_ how unstrung poor Edward was!  Mr. Bemis, I
+think you’re quite prejudiced.  How could Edward help their escaping?  I
+think it was quite enough for him, single-handed, to get his watch back.’
+A ring at the door, and then a number of voices in the anteroom.  ‘I do
+believe they’re all there!  I’ll just run out and prepare your son.  He
+would be dreadfully shocked if he came right in upon you.’  She runs into
+the anteroom, and is heard without: ‘Oh, Dr. Lawton!  Oh, Lou dear!
+_Oh_, Mr. Bemis!  How can I ever tell you?  Your poor father!  No, no, I
+_can’t_ tell you!  You mustn’t ask me!  It’s too hideous!  And you
+wouldn’t believe me if I did.’
+
+_Chorus of anguished voices_: ‘What? what? what?’
+
+MRS. ROBERTS: ‘They’ve been robbed!  Garotted on the Common!  And, _oh_,
+Dr. Lawton, I’m so glad _you’ve_ come!  They’re both injured internally,
+but I _wish_ you’d look at Edward first.’
+
+BEMIS: ‘Good heavens!  Is that Mrs. Roberts’s idea of preparing my son?
+And his poor young wife!’  He addresses his demand to Mrs. Crashaw, who
+lifts the hands of impotent despair.
+
+
+
+
+PART SECOND
+
+
+MR. ROBERTS; MR. CAMPBELL
+
+
+IN Mr. Roberts’s dressing-room, that gentleman is discovered tragically
+confronting Mr. Willis Campbell, with a watch uplifted in either hand.
+
+WILLIS: ‘Well?’
+
+ROBERTS, gasping: ‘My—my watch!’
+
+WILLIS: ‘Yes.  How comes there to be two of it?’
+
+ROBERTS: ‘Don’t you understand?  When I went out I—didn’t take my
+watch—with me.  I left it here on my bureau.’
+
+WILLIS: ‘Well?’
+
+ROBERTS: ‘Oh, merciful heavens! don’t you see?  Then I couldn’t have been
+robbed!’
+
+WILLIS: ‘Well, but whose watch did you take from the fellow that didn’t
+rob you, then?’
+
+ROBERTS: ‘His own!’  He abandons himself powerlessly upon a chair.  ‘Yes;
+I left my own watch here, and when that person brushed against me in the
+Common, I missed it for the first time.  I supposed he had robbed me, and
+ran after him, and—’
+
+WILLIS: ‘Robbed _him_!’
+
+ROBERTS: ‘Yes.’
+
+WILLIS: ‘Ah, ha, ha, ha!  I, hi, hi, hi!  O, ho, ho, ho!’  He yields to a
+series of these gusts and paroxysms, bowing up and down, and stamping to
+and fro, and finally sits down exhausted, and wipes the tears from his
+cheeks.  ‘Really, this thing will kill me.  What are you going to do
+about it, Roberts?’
+
+ROBERTS, with profound dejection and abysmal solemnity: ‘I don’t know,
+Willis.  Don’t you see that it must have been—that I must have robbed—Mr.
+Bemis?’
+
+WILLIS: ‘Bemis!’  After a moment for tasting the fact.  ‘Why, so it was!
+Oh, Lord! oh, Lord!  And was poor old Bemis that burly ruffian? that
+bloodthirsty gang of giants? that—that—oh, Lord! oh, Lord!’  He bows his
+head upon his chair-back in complete exhaustion, demanding, feebly, as he
+gets breath for the successive questions, ‘What are you going to d-o-o-o?
+What shall you s-a-a-a-y?  How can you expla-a-ain it?’
+
+ROBERTS: ‘I can do nothing.  I can say nothing.  I can never explain it.
+I must go to Mr. Bemis and make a clean breast of it; but think of the
+absurdity—the ridicule!’
+
+WILLIS, after a thoughtful silence: ‘Oh, it isn’t _that_ you’ve got to
+think of.  You’ve got to think of the old gentleman’s sense of injury and
+outrage.  Didn’t you hear what he said—that he would have handed over his
+dearest friend, his own brother, to the police?’
+
+ROBERTS: ‘But that was in the supposition that his dearest friend, his
+own brother, had intentionally robbed him.  You can’t imagine, Willis—’
+
+WILLIS: ‘Oh, I can imagine a great many things.  It’s all well enough for
+you to say that the robbery was a mistake; but it was a genuine case of
+garotting as far as the assault and taking the watch go.  He’s a very
+pudgicky old gentleman.’
+
+ROBERTS: ‘He is.’
+
+WILLIS: ‘And I don’t see how you’re going to satisfy him that it was all
+a joke.  Joke?  It _wasn’t_ a joke!  It was a real assault and a _bona
+fide_ robbery, and Bemis can prove it.’
+
+ROBERTS: ‘But he would never insist—’
+
+WILLIS: ‘Oh, I don’t know about that.  He’s pretty queer, Bemis is.  You
+can’t say what an old gentleman like that will or won’t do.  If he should
+choose to carry it into court—’
+
+ROBERTS: ‘Court!’
+
+WILLIS: ‘It might be embarrassing.  And anyway, it would have a very
+strange look in the papers.’
+
+ROBERTS: ‘The papers!  Good gracious!’
+
+WILLIS: ‘Ten years from now a man that heard you mentioned would forget
+all about the acquittal, and say: “Roberts?  Oh yes!  Wasn’t he the one
+they sent to the House of Correction for garotting an old friend of his
+on the Common!”  You see, it wouldn’t do to go and make a clean breast of
+it to Bemis.’
+
+ROBERTS: ‘I see.’
+
+WILLIS: ‘What will you do?’
+
+ROBERTS: ‘I must never say anything to him about it.  Just let it go.’
+
+WILLIS: ‘And keep his watch?  I don’t see how you could manage that.
+What would you do with the watch?  You might sell it, of course—’
+
+ROBERTS: ‘Oh no, I _couldn’t_ do that.’
+
+WILLIS: ‘You might give it away to some deserving person; but if it got
+him into trouble—’
+
+ROBERTS: ‘No, no; that wouldn’t do, either.’
+
+WILLIS: ‘And you can’t have it lying around; Agnes would be sure to find
+it, sooner or later.’
+
+ROBERTS: ‘Yes.’
+
+WILLIS: ‘Besides, there’s your conscience.  Your conscience wouldn’t
+_let_ you keep Bemis’s watch away from him.  And if it would, what do you
+suppose Agnes’s conscience would do when she came to find it out?  Agnes
+hasn’t got much of a head—the want of it seems to grow upon her; but
+she’s got a conscience as big as the side of a house.’
+
+ROBERTS: ‘Oh, I see; I see.’
+
+WILLIS, coming up and standing over him, with his hands in his pockets:
+‘I tell you what, Roberts, you’re in a box.’
+
+ROBERTS, abjectly: ‘I know it, Willis; I know it.  What do you suggest?
+You _must_ know some way out of it.’
+
+WILLIS: ‘It isn’t a simple matter like telling them to start the elevator
+down when they couldn’t start her up.  I’ve got to think it over.’  He
+walks to and fro, Roberts’s eyes helplessly following his movements.
+‘How would it do to—No, that wouldn’t do, either.’
+
+ROBERTS: ‘What wouldn’t?’
+
+WILLIS: ‘Nothing.  I was just thinking—I say, you might—Or, no, you
+couldn’t.’
+
+ROBERTS: ‘Couldn’t what?’
+
+WILLIS: ‘Nothing.  But if you were to—No; up a stump that way too.’
+
+ROBERTS: ‘Which way?  For mercy’s sake, my dear fellow, don’t seem to get
+a clew if you haven’t it.  It’s more than I can bear.’  He rises, and
+desperately confronts Willis in his promenade.  ‘If you see any hope at
+all—’
+
+WILLIS, stopping: ‘Why, if you were a different sort of fellow, Roberts,
+the thing would be perfectly easy.’
+
+ROBERTS: ‘Very well, then.  What sort of fellow do you want me to be?
+I’ll be any sort of fellow you like.’
+
+WILLIS: ‘Oh, but you couldn’t!  With that face of yours, and that
+confounded conscience of yours behind it, you would give away the whitest
+lie that was ever told.’
+
+ROBERTS: ‘Do you wish me to lie?  Very well, then, I will lie.  What is
+the lie?’
+
+WILLIS: ‘Ah, now you’re talking like a man!  I can soon think up a lie if
+you’re game for it.  Suppose it wasn’t so very white—say a delicate
+blonde!’
+
+ROBERTS: ‘I shouldn’t care if it were as black as the ace of spades.’
+
+WILLIS: ‘Roberts, I honour you!  It isn’t everybody who could steal an
+old gentleman’s watch, and then be so ready to lie out of it.  Well, you
+_have_ got courage—both kinds—moral and physical.’
+
+ROBERTS: ‘Thank you, Willis.  Of course I don’t pretend that I should be
+willing to lie under ordinary circumstances; but for the sake of Agnes
+and the children—I don’t want any awkwardness about the matter; it would
+be the death of me.  Well, what do you wish me to say?  Be quick; I don’t
+believe I could hold out for a great while.  I don’t suppose but what Mr.
+Bemis would be reasonable, even if I—’
+
+WILLIS: ‘I’m afraid we couldn’t trust him.  The only way is for you to
+take the bull by the horns.’
+
+ROBERTS: ‘Yes?’
+
+WILLIS: ‘You will not only have to lie, Roberts, but you will have to
+wear an air of innocent candour at the same time.’
+
+ROBERTS: ‘I—I’m afraid I couldn’t manage that.  What is your idea?’
+
+WILLIS: ‘Oh, just come into the room with a laugh when we go back, and
+say, in an offhand way, “By the way, Agnes, Willis and I made a
+remarkable discovery in my dressing-room; we found my watch there on the
+bureau.  Ha, ha, ha!”  Do you think you could do it?’
+
+ROBERTS: ‘I—I don’t know.’
+
+WILLIS: ‘Try the laugh now.’
+
+ROBERTS: ‘I’d rather not—now.’
+
+WILLIS: ‘Well, try it, anyway.’
+
+ROBERTS: ‘Ha, ha, ha!’
+
+WILLIS: ‘Once more.’
+
+ROBERTS: ‘Ha, ha, ha!’
+
+WILLIS: ‘Pretty ghastly; but I guess you can come it.’
+
+ROBERTS: ‘I’ll try.  And then what?’
+
+WILLIS: ‘And then you say, “I hadn’t put it on when I went out, and when
+I got after that fellow and took it back, I was simply getting somebody
+else’s watch!”  Then you hold out both watches to her, and laugh again.
+Everybody laughs, and crowds round you to examine the watches, and you
+make fun and crack jokes at your own expense all the time, and pretty
+soon old Bemis says, “Why, this is _my_ watch, _now_!” and you laugh more
+than ever—’
+
+ROBERTS: ‘I’m afraid I couldn’t laugh when he said that.  I don’t believe
+I could laugh.  It would make my blood run cold.’
+
+WILLIS: ‘Oh no, it wouldn’t.  You’d be in the spirit of it by that time.’
+
+ROBERTS: ‘Do you think so?  Well?’
+
+WILLIS: ‘And then you say, “Well, this is the most remarkable coincidence
+I ever heard of.  I didn’t get my own watch from the fellow, but I got
+yours, Mr. Bemis;” and then you hand it over to him and say, “Sorry I had
+to break the chain in getting it from him,” and then everybody laughs
+again, and—and that ends it.’
+
+ROBERTS, with a profound sigh: ‘Do you think that would end it?’
+
+WILLIS: ‘Why, certainly.  It’ll put old Bemis in the wrong, don’t you
+see?  It’ll show that instead of letting the fellow escape to go and rob
+_him_, you attacked him and took Bemis’s property back from him yourself.
+Bemis wouldn’t have a word to say.  All you’ve got to do is to keep up a
+light, confident manner.’
+
+ROBERTS: ‘But what if it shouldn’t put Bemis in the wrong?  What if he
+shouldn’t say or do anything that we’ve counted upon, but something
+altogether different?’
+
+WILLIS: ‘Well, then, you must trust to inspiration, and adapt yourself to
+circumstances.’
+
+ROBERTS: ‘Wouldn’t it be rather more of a joke to come out with the facts
+at once?’
+
+WILLIS: ‘On you it would; and a year from now—say next Christmas—you
+could get the laugh on Bemis that way.  But if you were to risk it now,
+there’s no telling how he’d take it.  He’s so indignant he might insist
+upon leaving the house.  But with this plan of mine—’
+
+ROBERTS, in despair: ‘I couldn’t, Willis.  I don’t feel light, and I
+don’t feel confident, and I couldn’t act it.  If it were a simple lie—’
+
+WILLIS: ‘Oh, lies are never simple; they require the exercise of all your
+ingenuity.  If you want something simple, you must stick to the truth,
+and throw yourself on Bemis’s mercy.’
+
+ROBERTS, walking up and down in great distress: ‘I can’t do it; I can’t
+do it.  It’s very kind of you to think it all out for me, but’—struck by
+a sudden idea—‘Willis, why shouldn’t _you_ do it?’
+
+WILLIS: ‘I?’
+
+ROBERTS: ‘You are good at those things.  You have so much _aplomb_, you
+know.  _You_ could carry it off, you know, first-rate.’
+
+WILLIS, as if finding a certain fascination in the idea: ‘Well, I don’t
+know—’
+
+ROBERTS: ‘And I could chime in on the laugh.  I think I could do that if
+somebody else was doing the rest.’
+
+WILLIS, after a moment of silent reflection: ‘I _should_ like to do it.
+I should like to see how old Bemis would look when I played it on him.
+Roberts, I _will_ do it.  Not a word!  I should _like_ to do it.  Now you
+go on and hurry up your toilet, old fellow; you needn’t mind me here.
+I’ll be rehearsing.’
+
+MRS. ROBERTS, knocking at the door, outside: ‘Edward, are you _never_
+coming?’
+
+ROBERTS: ‘Yes, yes; I’ll be there in a minute, my dear.’
+
+WILLIS: ‘Yes, he’ll be there.  Run along back, and keep it going till we
+come.  Roberts, I wouldn’t take a thousand dollars for this chance.’
+
+ROBERTS: ‘I’m glad you like it.’
+
+WILLIS: ‘Like it?  Of course I do.  Or no!  Hold on!  Wait!  It won’t do!
+No; you must take the leading part, and I’ll support you, and I’ll come
+in strong if you break down.  That’s the way we have got to work it.  You
+must make the start.’
+
+ROBERTS: ‘Couldn’t you make it better, Willis?  It’s your idea.’
+
+WILLIS: ‘No; they’d be sure to suspect me, and they can’t suspect you of
+anything—you’re so innocent.  The illusion will be complete.’
+
+ROBERTS, very doubtfully: ‘Do you think so?’
+
+WILLIS: ‘Yes.  Hurry up.  Let me unbutton that collar for you.’
+
+
+
+
+PART THIRD
+
+
+I
+MRS. ROBERTS, DR. LAWTON, MRS. CRASHAW, MR. BEMIS, YOUNG MR. AND MRS.
+BEMIS
+
+
+MRS. ROBERTS, surrounded by her guests, and confronting from her sofa Mr.
+Bemis, who still remains sunken in his armchair, has apparently closed an
+exhaustive recital of the events which have ended in his presence there.
+She looks round with a mixed air of self-denial and self-satisfaction to
+read the admiration of her listeners in their sympathetic countenances.
+
+DR. LAWTON, with an ironical sigh of profound impression: ‘Well, Mrs.
+Roberts, you are certainly the most lavishly hospitable of hostesses.
+Every one knows what delightful dinners you give; but these little
+dramatic episodes which you offer your guests, by way of appetizer, are
+certainly unique.  Last year an elevator stuck in the shaft with half the
+company in it, and this year a highway robbery, its daring punishment and
+its reckless repetition—what the newspapers will call “A Triple Mystery”
+when it gets to them—and both victims among our commensals!  Really, I
+don’t know what more we could ask of you, unless it were the foot-padded
+footpad himself as a commensal.  If this sort of thing should become _de
+rigueur_ in society generally, I don’t know what’s to become of people
+who haven’t your invention.’
+
+MRS. ROBERTS: ‘Oh, it’s all very well to make fun now, Dr. Lawton; but if
+you had been here when they first came in—’
+
+YOUNG MRS. BEMIS: ‘Yes, indeed, I think so too, Mrs. Roberts.  If Mr.
+Bemis—Alfred, I mean—and papa hadn’t been with me when you came out there
+to prepare us, I don’t know what I should have done.  I should certainly
+have died, or gone through the floor.’  She looks fondly up into the face
+of her husband for approval, where he stands behind her chair, and
+furtively gives him her hand for pressure.’
+
+YOUNG MR. BEMIS: ‘Somebody ought to write to the Curwens—Mrs. Curwen,
+that is—about it.’
+
+MRS. BEMIS, taking away her hand: ‘Oh yes, papa, _do_ write!’
+
+LAWTON: ‘I will, my dear.  Even Mrs. Curwen, dazzling away in another
+sphere—hemisphere—and surrounded by cardinals and all the other celestial
+lights there at Rome, will be proud to exploit this new evidence of
+American enterprise.  I can fancy the effect she will produce with it.’
+
+MRS. ROBERTS: ‘And the Millers—what a shame they couldn’t come!  How
+excited they would have been!—that is, Mrs. Miller.  Is their baby very
+bad, Doctor?’
+
+LAWTON: ‘Well, vaccination is always a very serious thing—with a first
+child.  I should say, from the way Mrs. Miller feels about it, that
+Miller wouldn’t be able to be out for a week to come yet.’
+
+MRS. ROBERTS: ‘Oh, how ridiculous you are, Doctor!’
+
+BEMIS, rising feebly from his chair: ‘Well, now that it’s all explained,
+Mrs. Roberts, I think I’d better go home; and if you’ll kindly have them
+telephone for a carriage—’
+
+MRS. ROBERTS: ‘_No_, indeed, Mr. Bemis!  We shall not let you go.  Why,
+the _idea_!  You must stay and take dinner with us, just the same.’
+
+BEMIS: ‘But in this state—’
+
+MRS. ROBERTS: ‘Oh, never mind the _state_.  You look perfectly well; and
+if you insist upon going, I shall know that you bear a grudge against
+Edward for not arresting him.  Wait!  We can put you in perfect order in
+just a second.’  She flies out of the room, and then comes swooping back
+with a needle and thread, a fresh white necktie, a handkerchief, and a
+hair-brush.  ‘There!  I can’t let you go to Edward’s dressing-room,
+because he’s there himself, and the children are in mine, and we’ve had
+to put the new maid in the guest-chamber—you _are_ rather cramped in
+flats, that’s true; that’s the worst of them—but if you don’t mind having
+your toilet made in public, like the King of France—’
+
+BEMIS, entering into the spirit of it: ‘Not the least; but—’  He laughs,
+and drops back into his chair.
+
+MRS. ROBERTS, distributing the brush to young Mr. Bemis, and the tie to
+his wife, and dropping upon her knees before Mr. Bemis: ‘Now, Mrs. Lou,
+you just whip off that crumpled tie and whip on the fresh one, and,
+_Mister_ Lou, you give his hair a touch, and I’ll have this torn
+button-hole mended before you can think.’  She seizes it and begins to
+sew vigorously upon it.
+
+MRS. CRASHAW: ‘Agnes, you are the most ridiculously sensible woman in the
+country.’
+
+LAWTON, standing before the group, with his arms folded and his feet well
+apart, in an attitude of easy admiration: ‘The Wounded Adonis, attended
+by the Loves and Graces.  Familiar Pompeiian fresco.’
+
+MRS. ROBERTS, looking around at him: ‘I don’t see a great many Loves.’
+
+LAWTON: ‘She ignores us, Mrs. Crashaw.  And after what you’ve just said!’
+
+MRS. ROBERTS: ‘Then why don’t you do something?’
+
+LAWTON: ‘The Loves _never_ do anything—in frescoes.  They stand round and
+sympathise.  Besides, we are waiting to administer an anæsthetic.  But
+what I admire in this subject even more than the activity of the Graces
+is the serene dignity of the Adonis.  I have seen my old friend in many
+trying positions, but I never realised till now all the simpering
+absurdity, the flattered silliness, the senile coquettishness, of which
+his benign countenance was capable.’
+
+MRS. ROBERTS: ‘Don’t mind him a bit, Mr. Bemis; it’s nothing but—’
+
+LAWTON: ‘Pure envy.  I own it.’
+
+BEMIS: ‘All right, Lawton.  Wait till—’
+
+MRS. ROBERTS, making a final stitch, snapping off the thread, and
+springing to her feet, all in one: ‘There, have you finished, Mr. and
+Mrs. Lou?  Well, then, take this lace handkerchief, and draw it down from
+his neck and pin it in his waistcoat, and you have—’
+
+LAWTON, as Mr. Bemis rises to his feet: ‘A Gentleman of the Old School.
+Bemis, you look like a miniature of yourself by Malbone.  Rather
+flattered, but—recognisable.’
+
+BEMIS, with perfectly recovered gaiety: ‘Go on, go on, Lawton.  I can
+understand your envy.  I can pity it.’
+
+LAWTON: ‘Could you forgive Roberts for not capturing the garotter?’
+
+BEMIS: ‘Yes, I could.  I could give the garotter his liberty, and present
+him with an admission to the Provident Woodyard, where he could earn an
+honest living for his family.’
+
+LAWTON, compassionately: ‘You _are_ pretty far gone, Bemis.  Really, I
+think somebody ought to go for Roberts.’
+
+MRS. ROBERTS, innocently: ‘Yes, indeed!  Why, what in the world can be
+keeping him?’  A nursemaid enters and beckons Mrs. Roberts to the door
+with a glance.  She runs to her; they whisper; and then Mrs. Roberts,
+over her shoulder: ‘That ridiculous great boy of mine says he can’t go to
+sleep unless I come and kiss him good-night.’
+
+LAWTON: ‘Which ridiculous great boy, I wonder?—Roberts, or Campbell?  But
+I didn’t know they had gone to bed!’
+
+MRS. BEMIS: ‘You are too bad, papa!  You know it’s little Neddy.’
+
+MRS. ROBERTS, vanishing: ‘Oh, I don’t mind his nonsense, Lou.  I’ll fetch
+them both back with me.’
+
+LAWTON, after making a melodramatic search for concealed listeners at the
+doors: ‘Now, friends, I have a revelation to make in Mrs. Roberts’s
+absence.  I have found out the garotter—the assassin.’
+
+ALL THE OTHERS: ‘What!’
+
+LAWTON: ‘He has been secured—’
+
+MRS. CRASHAW, severely: ‘Well, I’m very glad of it.’
+
+YOUNG BEMIS: ‘By the police?’
+
+MRS. BEMIS, incredulously: ‘Papa!’
+
+BEMIS: ‘But there were several of them.  Have they all been arrested?’
+
+LAWTON: ‘There was only one, and none of him has been arrested.’
+
+MRS. CRASHAW: ‘Where is he, then?’
+
+LAWTON: ‘In this house.’
+
+MRS. CRASHAW: ‘Now, Dr. Lawton, you and I are old friends—I shouldn’t
+like to say _how_ old—but if you don’t instantly be serious, I—I’ll carry
+my rheumatism to somebody else.’
+
+LAWTON: ‘My _dear_ Mrs. Crashaw, you know how much I prize that
+rheumatism of yours!  I will be serious—I will be only too serious.  The
+garotter is Mr. Roberts himself.’
+
+ALL, horror-struck: ‘Oh!’
+
+LAWTON: ‘He went out without his watch.  He thought he was robbed, but he
+wasn’t.  He ran after the supposed thief, our poor friend Bemis here, and
+took Bemis’s watch away, and brought it home for his own.’
+
+YOUNG BEMIS: ‘Yes, but—’
+
+MRS. BEMIS: ‘But, papa—’
+
+BEMIS: ‘How do you know it?  I can see how such a thing might happen,
+but—how do you know it _did_?’
+
+LAWTON: ‘I divined it.’
+
+MRS. CRASHAW: ‘Nonsense!’
+
+LAWTON: ‘Very well, then, I read of just such a ease in the _Advertiser_
+a year ago.  It occurs annually—in the newspapers.  And I’ll tell you
+what, Mrs. Crashaw—Roberts found out his mistake as soon as he went to
+his dressing-room; and that ingenious nephew of yours, who’s closeted
+with him there, has been trying to put him up to something—to some game.’
+
+MRS. CRASHAW: ‘Willis has too much sense.  He would know that Edward
+couldn’t carry out any sort of game.’
+
+LAWTON: ‘Well, then, he’s getting Roberts to let _him_ carry out the
+game.’
+
+MRS. CRASHAW: ‘Edward couldn’t do that either.’
+
+LAWTON: ‘Very well, then, just wait till they come back.  Will you leave
+me to deal with Campbell?’
+
+MRS. CRASHAW: ‘What are you going to do?’
+
+YOUNG BEMIS: ‘You mustn’t forget that he got us out of the elevator,
+sir.’
+
+MRS. BEMIS: ‘We might have been there yet if it hadn’t been for him,
+papa.’
+
+MRS. CRASHAW: ‘I shouldn’t want Willis mortified.’
+
+BEMIS: ‘Nor Mr. Roberts annoyed.  We’re fellow-sufferers in this
+business.’
+
+LAWTON: ‘Oh, leave it to me, leave it to me!  I’ll spare their feelings.
+Don’t be afraid.  Ah, there they come!  Now don’t say anything.  I’ll
+just step into the anteroom here.’
+
+
+
+II
+MR. ROBERTS, MR. CAMPBELL, AND THE OTHERS
+
+
+ROBERTS, entering the room before Campbell, and shaking hands with his
+guests: ‘Ah, Mr. Bemis; Mrs. Bemis; Aunt Mary!  You’ve heard of our
+comical little coincidence—our—Mr. Bemis and my—’  He halts, confused,
+and looks around for the moral support of Willis, who follows
+hilariously.
+
+WILLIS: ‘Greatest joke on record!  But I won’t spoil it for you, Roberts.
+Go on!’  In a low voice to Roberts: ‘And don’t look so confoundedly down
+in the mouth.  They won’t think it’s a joke at all.’
+
+ROBERTS, with galvanic lightness: ‘Yes, yes—such a joke!  Well, you
+see—you see—’
+
+MRS. CRASHAW: ‘See _what_, Edward?  _Do_ get it out!’
+
+WILLIS, jollily: ‘Ah, ha, ha!’
+
+ROBERTS, lugubriously: ‘Ah, ha, ha!’
+
+MRS. BEMIS: ‘How funny!  Ha, ha, ha!’
+
+YOUNG MR. BEMIS: ‘Capital! capital!’
+
+BEMIS: ‘Excellent!’
+
+WILLIS: ‘Go on, Roberts, do! or I shall die!  Ah, ha, ha!’
+
+ROBERTS, in a low voice of consternation to Willis: ‘Where was I?  I
+can’t go on unless I know where I was.’
+
+WILLIS, _sotto voce_ to Roberts: ‘You weren’t anywhere!  For Heaven’s
+sake, make a start!’
+
+ROBERTS, to the others, convulsively: ‘Ha, ha, ha!  I supposed all the
+time, you know, that I had been robbed, and—and—’
+
+WILLIS: ‘Go on! _go_ on!’
+
+ROBERTS, whispering: ‘I can’t do it—’
+
+WILLIS, whispering: ‘You’ve _got_ to!  You’re the beaver that clomb the
+tree.  Laugh naturally, now!’
+
+ROBERTS, with a staccato groan, which he tries to make pass for a laugh:
+‘And then I ran after the man—’ He stops, and regards Mr. Bemis with a
+ghastly stare.
+
+MRS. CRASHAW: ‘What is the matter with you, Edward?  Are you sick?’
+
+WILLIS: ‘Sick?  No!  Can’t you see that he can’t get over the joke of the
+thing?  It’s killing him.’  To Roberts: ‘Brace up, old man!  You’re doing
+it splendidly.’
+
+ROBERTS, hopelessly: ‘And then the other man—the man that had robbed
+me—the man that I had pursued—ugh!’
+
+WILLIS: ‘Well, it is too much for him.  I shall have to tell it myself, I
+see.’
+
+ROBERTS, making a wild effort to command himself: ‘And so—so—this
+man—man—ma—’
+
+WILLIS: ‘Oh, good Lord—’  Dr. Lawton suddenly appears from the anteroom
+and confronts him.  ‘Oh, the devil!’
+
+LAWTON, folding his arms, and fixing his eyes upon him: ‘Which means that
+you forgot I was coming.’
+
+WILLIS: ‘Doctor, you read a man’s symptoms at a glance.’
+
+LAWTON: ‘Yes; and I can see that you are in a bad way, Mr. Campbell.’
+
+WILLIS: ‘Why don’t you advertise, Doctor?  Patients need only enclose a
+lock of their hair, and the colour of their eyes, with one dollar to pay
+the cost of materials, which will be sent, with full directions for
+treatment, by return mail.  Seventh son of a seventh son.’
+
+LAWTON: ‘Ah, don’t try to jest it away, my poor friend.  This is one of
+those obscure diseases of the heart—induration of the pericardium—which,
+if not taken in time, result in deceitfulness above all things, and
+desperate wickedness.’
+
+WILLIS: ‘Look here, Dr. Lawton, what are you up to?’
+
+LAWTON: ‘Look here, Mr. Campbell, what is your little game?’
+
+WILLIS: ‘_I_ don’t know what you’re up to.’  He shrugs his shoulders and
+walks up the room.
+
+LAWTON, shrugging his shoulders and walking up the room abreast of
+Campbell: ‘_I_ don’t know what your little game is.’  They return
+together, and stop, confronting each other.
+
+WILLIS: ‘But if you think I’m going to give myself away—’
+
+LAWTON: ‘If you suppose I’m going to take you at your own figure—’  They
+walk up the room together, and return as before.
+
+WILLIS: ‘Mrs. Bemis, what is this unnatural parent of yours after?’
+
+MRS. BEMIS, tittering: ‘Oh, I’m sure _I_ can’t tell.’
+
+WILLIS: ‘Aunt Mary, you used to be a friend of mine.  Can’t you give me
+some sort of clue?’
+
+MRS. CRASHAW: ‘I should be ashamed of you, Willis, if you accepted
+anybody’s help.’
+
+WILLIS, sighing: ‘Well, this is pretty hard on an orphan.  Here I come to
+join a company of friends at the fireside of a burgled brother-in-law,
+and I find myself in a nest of conspirators.’  Suddenly, after a moment:
+‘Oh, I understand.  Why, I ought to have seen at once.  But no
+matter—it’s just as well.  I’m sure that we shall hear Dr. Lawton
+leniently, and make allowance for his well-known foible.  Roberts is
+bound by the laws of hospitality, and Mr. Bemis is the father-in-law of
+his daughter.’
+
+MRS. BEMIS, in serious dismay: ‘Why, Mr. Campbell, what do you mean?’
+
+WILLIS: ‘Simply that the mystery is solved—the double garotter is
+discovered.  I’m sorry for you, Mrs. Bemis; and no one will wish to deal
+harshly with your father when he confesses that it was he who robbed Mr.
+Roberts and Mr. Bemis.  All that they ask is to have their watches back.
+Go on, Doctor!  How will that do, Aunt Mary, for a little flyer?’
+
+MRS. CRASHAW: ‘Willis, I declare I never saw anybody like you!’  She
+embraces him with joyous pride.
+
+ROBERTS, coming forward anxiously: ‘But, my dear Willis—’
+
+WILLIS, clapping his hand over his mouth, and leading him back to his
+place: ‘We can’t let you talk now.  I’ve no doubt you’ll be considerate,
+and all that, but Dr. Lawton has the floor.  Go on, Doctor!  Free your
+mind!  Don’t be afraid of telling the whole truth!  It will be better for
+you in the end.’  He rubs his hands gleefully, and then thrusting the
+points of them into his waistcoat pockets, stands beaming triumphantly
+upon Lawton.
+
+LAWTON: ‘Do you think so?’  With well-affected trepidation ‘Well,
+friends, if I must confess this—this—’
+
+WILLIS: ‘High-handed outrage.  Go on.’
+
+LAWTON: ‘I suppose I must.  I shall not expect mercy for myself; perhaps
+you’ll say that, as an old and hardened offender, I don’t deserve it.
+But I had an accomplice—a young man very respectably connected, and who,
+whatever his previous life may have been, had managed to keep a good
+reputation; a young man a little apt to be misled by overweening vanity
+and the ill-advised flattery of his friends; but I hope that neither of
+you gentlemen will be hard upon him, but will consider his youth, and
+perhaps his congenital moral and intellectual deficiencies, even when you
+find your watches—on Mr. Campbell’s person.’  He leans forward, rubbing
+his hands, and smiling upon Campbell, ‘How will that do, Mr. Campbell,
+for a flyer?’
+
+WILLIS, turning to Mrs. Crashaw: ‘One ahead, Aunt Mary?’
+
+LAWTON, clasping him by the hand: ‘No, generous youth—even!’  They shake
+hands, clapping each other on the back with their lefts, and joining in
+the general laugh.
+
+BEMIS, coming forward jovially: ‘Well, now, I gladly forgive you both—or
+whoever _did_ rob me—if you’ll only give me back my watch.’
+
+WILLIS: ‘_I_ haven’t got your watch.’
+
+LAWTON: ‘Nor I.’
+
+ROBERTS, rather faintly, and coming reluctantly forward: ‘I—I have it,
+Mr. Bemis.’  He produces it from one waistcoat pocket and hands it to
+Bemis.  Then, visiting the other: ‘And what’s worse, I have my own.  I
+don’t know how I can ever explain it, or atone to you for my
+extraordinary behaviour.  Willis thought you might finally see it as a
+joke, and I’ve done my best to pass it off lightly—’
+
+WILLIS: ‘And you succeeded.  You had all the lightness of a sick
+hippopotamus.’
+
+ROBERTS: ‘I’m afraid so.  I’ll have the chain mended, of course.  But
+when I went out this evening I left my watch on my dressing-table, and
+when you struck against me in the Common I missed it, and supposed I had
+been robbed, and I ran after you and took yours—’
+
+WILLIS: ‘Being a man of the most violent temper and the most desperate
+courage—’
+
+ROBERTS: ‘But I hope, my dear sir, that I didn’t hurt you seriously?’
+
+BEMIS: ‘Not at all—not the least.’  Shaking him cordially by both hands:
+‘I’m all right.  Mrs. Roberts has healed all my wounds with her skilful
+needle; I’ve got on one of your best neckties, and this lace handkerchief
+of your wife’s, which I’m going to keep for a souvenir of the most
+extraordinary adventure of my life—’
+
+LAWTON: ‘Oh, it’s an old newspaper story, Bemis, I tell you.’
+
+WILLIS: ‘Well, Aunt Mary, I wish Agnes were here now to see Roberts in
+his character of _moral_ hero.  He ‘done’ it with his little hatchet, but
+he waited to make sure that Bushrod was all right before he owned up.’
+
+MRS. ROBERTS, appearing: ‘Who, Willis?’
+
+WILLIS: ‘A very great and good man—George Washington.’
+
+MRS. ROBERTS: ‘I thought you meant Edward.’
+
+WILLIS: ‘Well, I don’t suppose there _is_ much difference.’
+
+MRS. CRASHAW: ‘The robber has been caught, Agnes.’
+
+MRS. ROBERTS: ‘Caught?  Nonsense!  You don’t mean it!  How can you trifle
+with such a subject?  I know you are joking!  Who is it?’
+
+YOUNG BEMIS: ‘You never could guess—’
+
+MRS. BEMIS: ‘Never in the world!’
+
+MRS. ROBERTS: ‘I don’t wish to.  But oh, Mr. Bemis, I’ve just come from
+my own children, and you must be merciful to his family!’
+
+BEMIS: ‘For your sake, dear lady, I will.’
+
+BELLA, between the _portières_: ‘Dinner is ready, Mrs. Roberts.’
+
+MRS. ROBERTS, passing her hand through Mr. Bemis’s arm: ‘Oh, then you
+must go in with me, and tell me all about it.’
+
+
+
+
+***END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE GAROTTERS***
+
+
+******* This file should be named 3237-0.txt or 3237-0.zip *******
+
+
+This and all associated files of various formats will be found in:
+http://www.gutenberg.org/dirs/3/2/2/3237
+
+
+Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions will
+be renamed.
+
+Creating the works from print editions not protected by U.S. copyright
+law means that no one owns a United States copyright in these works,
+so the Foundation (and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United
+States without permission and without paying copyright
+royalties. Special rules, set forth in the General Terms of Use part
+of this license, apply to copying and distributing Project
+Gutenberg-tm electronic works to protect the PROJECT GUTENBERG-tm
+concept and trademark. Project Gutenberg is a registered trademark,
+and may not be used if you charge for the eBooks, unless you receive
+specific permission. If you do not charge anything for copies of this
+eBook, complying with the rules is very easy. You may use this eBook
+for nearly any purpose such as creation of derivative works, reports,
+performances and research. They may be modified and printed and given
+away--you may do practically ANYTHING in the United States with eBooks
+not protected by U.S. copyright law. Redistribution is subject to the
+trademark license, especially commercial redistribution.
+
+START: FULL LICENSE
+
+THE FULL PROJECT GUTENBERG LICENSE
+PLEASE READ THIS BEFORE YOU DISTRIBUTE OR USE THIS WORK
+
+To protect the Project Gutenberg-tm mission of promoting the free
+distribution of electronic works, by using or distributing this work
+(or any other work associated in any way with the phrase "Project
+Gutenberg"), you agree to comply with all the terms of the Full
+Project Gutenberg-tm License available with this file or online at
+www.gutenberg.org/license.
+
+Section 1. General Terms of Use and Redistributing Project
+Gutenberg-tm electronic works
+
+1.A. By reading or using any part of this Project Gutenberg-tm
+electronic work, you indicate that you have read, understand, agree to
+and accept all the terms of this license and intellectual property
+(trademark/copyright) agreement. If you do not agree to abide by all
+the terms of this agreement, you must cease using and return or
+destroy all copies of Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works in your
+possession. If you paid a fee for obtaining a copy of or access to a
+Project Gutenberg-tm electronic work and you do not agree to be bound
+by the terms of this agreement, you may obtain a refund from the
+person or entity to whom you paid the fee as set forth in paragraph
+1.E.8.
+
+1.B. "Project Gutenberg" is a registered trademark. It may only be
+used on or associated in any way with an electronic work by people who
+agree to be bound by the terms of this agreement. There are a few
+things that you can do with most Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works
+even without complying with the full terms of this agreement. See
+paragraph 1.C below. There are a lot of things you can do with Project
+Gutenberg-tm electronic works if you follow the terms of this
+agreement and help preserve free future access to Project Gutenberg-tm
+electronic works. See paragraph 1.E below.
+
+1.C. The Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation ("the
+Foundation" or PGLAF), owns a compilation copyright in the collection
+of Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works. Nearly all the individual
+works in the collection are in the public domain in the United
+States. If an individual work is unprotected by copyright law in the
+United States and you are located in the United States, we do not
+claim a right to prevent you from copying, distributing, performing,
+displaying or creating derivative works based on the work as long as
+all references to Project Gutenberg are removed. Of course, we hope
+that you will support the Project Gutenberg-tm mission of promoting
+free access to electronic works by freely sharing Project Gutenberg-tm
+works in compliance with the terms of this agreement for keeping the
+Project Gutenberg-tm name associated with the work. You can easily
+comply with the terms of this agreement by keeping this work in the
+same format with its attached full Project Gutenberg-tm License when
+you share it without charge with others.
+
+1.D. The copyright laws of the place where you are located also govern
+what you can do with this work. Copyright laws in most countries are
+in a constant state of change. If you are outside the United States,
+check the laws of your country in addition to the terms of this
+agreement before downloading, copying, displaying, performing,
+distributing or creating derivative works based on this work or any
+other Project Gutenberg-tm work. The Foundation makes no
+representations concerning the copyright status of any work in any
+country outside the United States.
+
+1.E. Unless you have removed all references to Project Gutenberg:
+
+1.E.1. The following sentence, with active links to, or other
+immediate access to, the full Project Gutenberg-tm License must appear
+prominently whenever any copy of a Project Gutenberg-tm work (any work
+on which the phrase "Project Gutenberg" appears, or with which the
+phrase "Project Gutenberg" is associated) is accessed, displayed,
+performed, viewed, copied or distributed:
+
+  This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere in the United States and
+  most other parts of the world at no cost and with almost no
+  restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it
+  under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included with this
+  eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org. If you are not located in the
+  United States, you'll have to check the laws of the country where you
+  are located before using this ebook.
+
+1.E.2. If an individual Project Gutenberg-tm electronic work is
+derived from texts not protected by U.S. copyright law (does not
+contain a notice indicating that it is posted with permission of the
+copyright holder), the work can be copied and distributed to anyone in
+the United States without paying any fees or charges. If you are
+redistributing or providing access to a work with the phrase "Project
+Gutenberg" associated with or appearing on the work, you must comply
+either with the requirements of paragraphs 1.E.1 through 1.E.7 or
+obtain permission for the use of the work and the Project Gutenberg-tm
+trademark as set forth in paragraphs 1.E.8 or 1.E.9.
+
+1.E.3. If an individual Project Gutenberg-tm electronic work is posted
+with the permission of the copyright holder, your use and distribution
+must comply with both paragraphs 1.E.1 through 1.E.7 and any
+additional terms imposed by the copyright holder. Additional terms
+will be linked to the Project Gutenberg-tm License for all works
+posted with the permission of the copyright holder found at the
+beginning of this work.
+
+1.E.4. Do not unlink or detach or remove the full Project Gutenberg-tm
+License terms from this work, or any files containing a part of this
+work or any other work associated with Project Gutenberg-tm.
+
+1.E.5. Do not copy, display, perform, distribute or redistribute this
+electronic work, or any part of this electronic work, without
+prominently displaying the sentence set forth in paragraph 1.E.1 with
+active links or immediate access to the full terms of the Project
+Gutenberg-tm License.
+
+1.E.6. You may convert to and distribute this work in any binary,
+compressed, marked up, nonproprietary or proprietary form, including
+any word processing or hypertext form. However, if you provide access
+to or distribute copies of a Project Gutenberg-tm work in a format
+other than "Plain Vanilla ASCII" or other format used in the official
+version posted on the official Project Gutenberg-tm web site
+(www.gutenberg.org), you must, at no additional cost, fee or expense
+to the user, provide a copy, a means of exporting a copy, or a means
+of obtaining a copy upon request, of the work in its original "Plain
+Vanilla ASCII" or other form. Any alternate format must include the
+full Project Gutenberg-tm License as specified in paragraph 1.E.1.
+
+1.E.7. Do not charge a fee for access to, viewing, displaying,
+performing, copying or distributing any Project Gutenberg-tm works
+unless you comply with paragraph 1.E.8 or 1.E.9.
+
+1.E.8. You may charge a reasonable fee for copies of or providing
+access to or distributing Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works
+provided that
+
+* You pay a royalty fee of 20% of the gross profits you derive from
+  the use of Project Gutenberg-tm works calculated using the method
+  you already use to calculate your applicable taxes. The fee is owed
+  to the owner of the Project Gutenberg-tm trademark, but he has
+  agreed to donate royalties under this paragraph to the Project
+  Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation. Royalty payments must be paid
+  within 60 days following each date on which you prepare (or are
+  legally required to prepare) your periodic tax returns. Royalty
+  payments should be clearly marked as such and sent to the Project
+  Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation at the address specified in
+  Section 4, "Information about donations to the Project Gutenberg
+  Literary Archive Foundation."
+
+* You provide a full refund of any money paid by a user who notifies
+  you in writing (or by e-mail) within 30 days of receipt that s/he
+  does not agree to the terms of the full Project Gutenberg-tm
+  License. You must require such a user to return or destroy all
+  copies of the works possessed in a physical medium and discontinue
+  all use of and all access to other copies of Project Gutenberg-tm
+  works.
+
+* You provide, in accordance with paragraph 1.F.3, a full refund of
+  any money paid for a work or a replacement copy, if a defect in the
+  electronic work is discovered and reported to you within 90 days of
+  receipt of the work.
+
+* You comply with all other terms of this agreement for free
+  distribution of Project Gutenberg-tm works.
+
+1.E.9. If you wish to charge a fee or distribute a Project
+Gutenberg-tm electronic work or group of works on different terms than
+are set forth in this agreement, you must obtain permission in writing
+from both the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation and The
+Project Gutenberg Trademark LLC, the owner of the Project Gutenberg-tm
+trademark. Contact the Foundation as set forth in Section 3 below.
+
+1.F.
+
+1.F.1. Project Gutenberg volunteers and employees expend considerable
+effort to identify, do copyright research on, transcribe and proofread
+works not protected by U.S. copyright law in creating the Project
+Gutenberg-tm collection. Despite these efforts, Project Gutenberg-tm
+electronic works, and the medium on which they may be stored, may
+contain "Defects," such as, but not limited to, incomplete, inaccurate
+or corrupt data, transcription errors, a copyright or other
+intellectual property infringement, a defective or damaged disk or
+other medium, a computer virus, or computer codes that damage or
+cannot be read by your equipment.
+
+1.F.2. LIMITED WARRANTY, DISCLAIMER OF DAMAGES - Except for the "Right
+of Replacement or Refund" described in paragraph 1.F.3, the Project
+Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation, the owner of the Project
+Gutenberg-tm trademark, and any other party distributing a Project
+Gutenberg-tm electronic work under this agreement, disclaim all
+liability to you for damages, costs and expenses, including legal
+fees. YOU AGREE THAT YOU HAVE NO REMEDIES FOR NEGLIGENCE, STRICT
+LIABILITY, BREACH OF WARRANTY OR BREACH OF CONTRACT EXCEPT THOSE
+PROVIDED IN PARAGRAPH 1.F.3. YOU AGREE THAT THE FOUNDATION, THE
+TRADEMARK OWNER, AND ANY DISTRIBUTOR UNDER THIS AGREEMENT WILL NOT BE
+LIABLE TO YOU FOR ACTUAL, DIRECT, INDIRECT, CONSEQUENTIAL, PUNITIVE OR
+INCIDENTAL DAMAGES EVEN IF YOU GIVE NOTICE OF THE POSSIBILITY OF SUCH
+DAMAGE.
+
+1.F.3. LIMITED RIGHT OF REPLACEMENT OR REFUND - If you discover a
+defect in this electronic work within 90 days of receiving it, you can
+receive a refund of the money (if any) you paid for it by sending a
+written explanation to the person you received the work from. If you
+received the work on a physical medium, you must return the medium
+with your written explanation. The person or entity that provided you
+with the defective work may elect to provide a replacement copy in
+lieu of a refund. If you received the work electronically, the person
+or entity providing it to you may choose to give you a second
+opportunity to receive the work electronically in lieu of a refund. If
+the second copy is also defective, you may demand a refund in writing
+without further opportunities to fix the problem.
+
+1.F.4. Except for the limited right of replacement or refund set forth
+in paragraph 1.F.3, this work is provided to you 'AS-IS', WITH NO
+OTHER WARRANTIES OF ANY KIND, EXPRESS OR IMPLIED, INCLUDING BUT NOT
+LIMITED TO WARRANTIES OF MERCHANTABILITY OR FITNESS FOR ANY PURPOSE.
+
+1.F.5. Some states do not allow disclaimers of certain implied
+warranties or the exclusion or limitation of certain types of
+damages. If any disclaimer or limitation set forth in this agreement
+violates the law of the state applicable to this agreement, the
+agreement shall be interpreted to make the maximum disclaimer or
+limitation permitted by the applicable state law. The invalidity or
+unenforceability of any provision of this agreement shall not void the
+remaining provisions.
+
+1.F.6. INDEMNITY - You agree to indemnify and hold the Foundation, the
+trademark owner, any agent or employee of the Foundation, anyone
+providing copies of Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works in
+accordance with this agreement, and any volunteers associated with the
+production, promotion and distribution of Project Gutenberg-tm
+electronic works, harmless from all liability, costs and expenses,
+including legal fees, that arise directly or indirectly from any of
+the following which you do or cause to occur: (a) distribution of this
+or any Project Gutenberg-tm work, (b) alteration, modification, or
+additions or deletions to any Project Gutenberg-tm work, and (c) any
+Defect you cause.
+
+Section 2. Information about the Mission of Project Gutenberg-tm
+
+Project Gutenberg-tm is synonymous with the free distribution of
+electronic works in formats readable by the widest variety of
+computers including obsolete, old, middle-aged and new computers. It
+exists because of the efforts of hundreds of volunteers and donations
+from people in all walks of life.
+
+Volunteers and financial support to provide volunteers with the
+assistance they need are critical to reaching Project Gutenberg-tm's
+goals and ensuring that the Project Gutenberg-tm collection will
+remain freely available for generations to come. In 2001, the Project
+Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation was created to provide a secure
+and permanent future for Project Gutenberg-tm and future
+generations. To learn more about the Project Gutenberg Literary
+Archive Foundation and how your efforts and donations can help, see
+Sections 3 and 4 and the Foundation information page at
+www.gutenberg.org Section 3. Information about the Project Gutenberg
+Literary Archive Foundation
+
+The Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation is a non profit
+501(c)(3) educational corporation organized under the laws of the
+state of Mississippi and granted tax exempt status by the Internal
+Revenue Service. The Foundation's EIN or federal tax identification
+number is 64-6221541. Contributions to the Project Gutenberg Literary
+Archive Foundation are tax deductible to the full extent permitted by
+U.S. federal laws and your state's laws.
+
+The Foundation's principal office is in Fairbanks, Alaska, with the
+mailing address: PO Box 750175, Fairbanks, AK 99775, but its
+volunteers and employees are scattered throughout numerous
+locations. Its business office is located at 809 North 1500 West, Salt
+Lake City, UT 84116, (801) 596-1887. Email contact links and up to
+date contact information can be found at the Foundation's web site and
+official page at www.gutenberg.org/contact
+
+For additional contact information:
+
+    Dr. Gregory B. Newby
+    Chief Executive and Director
+    gbnewby@pglaf.org
+
+Section 4. Information about Donations to the Project Gutenberg
+Literary Archive Foundation
+
+Project Gutenberg-tm depends upon and cannot survive without wide
+spread public support and donations to carry out its mission of
+increasing the number of public domain and licensed works that can be
+freely distributed in machine readable form accessible by the widest
+array of equipment including outdated equipment. Many small donations
+($1 to $5,000) are particularly important to maintaining tax exempt
+status with the IRS.
+
+The Foundation is committed to complying with the laws regulating
+charities and charitable donations in all 50 states of the United
+States. Compliance requirements are not uniform and it takes a
+considerable effort, much paperwork and many fees to meet and keep up
+with these requirements. We do not solicit donations in locations
+where we have not received written confirmation of compliance. To SEND
+DONATIONS or determine the status of compliance for any particular
+state visit www.gutenberg.org/donate
+
+While we cannot and do not solicit contributions from states where we
+have not met the solicitation requirements, we know of no prohibition
+against accepting unsolicited donations from donors in such states who
+approach us with offers to donate.
+
+International donations are gratefully accepted, but we cannot make
+any statements concerning tax treatment of donations received from
+outside the United States. U.S. laws alone swamp our small staff.
+
+Please check the Project Gutenberg Web pages for current donation
+methods and addresses. Donations are accepted in a number of other
+ways including checks, online payments and credit card donations. To
+donate, please visit: www.gutenberg.org/donate
+
+Section 5. General Information About Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works.
+
+Professor Michael S. Hart was the originator of the Project
+Gutenberg-tm concept of a library of electronic works that could be
+freely shared with anyone. For forty years, he produced and
+distributed Project Gutenberg-tm eBooks with only a loose network of
+volunteer support.
+
+Project Gutenberg-tm eBooks are often created from several printed
+editions, all of which are confirmed as not protected by copyright in
+the U.S. unless a copyright notice is included. Thus, we do not
+necessarily keep eBooks in compliance with any particular paper
+edition.
+
+Most people start at our Web site which has the main PG search
+facility: www.gutenberg.org
+
+This Web site includes information about Project Gutenberg-tm,
+including how to make donations to the Project Gutenberg Literary
+Archive Foundation, how to help produce our new eBooks, and how to
+subscribe to our email newsletter to hear about new eBooks.
+
diff --git a/3237-0.zip b/3237-0.zip
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..1fe8803
--- /dev/null
+++ b/3237-0.zip
diff --git a/3237-h.zip b/3237-h.zip
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..82d7c24
--- /dev/null
+++ b/3237-h.zip
diff --git a/3237-h/3237-h.htm b/3237-h/3237-h.htm
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..0a5f234
--- /dev/null
+++ b/3237-h/3237-h.htm
@@ -0,0 +1,1953 @@
+<!DOCTYPE html
+     PUBLIC "-//W3C//DTD XHTML 1.0 Strict//EN"
+     "http://www.w3.org/TR/xhtml1/DTD/xhtml1-strict.dtd">
+<html xmlns="http://www.w3.org/1999/xhtml" xml:lang="en" lang="en">
+<head>
+<meta http-equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html; charset=US-ASCII" />
+<title>The Garotters, by William D. Howells</title>
+    <style type="text/css">
+/*<![CDATA[  XML blockout */
+<!--
+    P {  margin-top: .75em;
+         margin-bottom: .75em;
+         }
+    P.gutsumm { margin-left: 5%;}
+    P.poetry {margin-left: 3%; }
+    .GutSmall { font-size: 0.7em; }
+    H1, H2 {
+         text-align: center;
+		margin-top: 2em;
+		margin-bottom: 2em;
+         }
+    H3, H4, H5 {
+	text-align: center;
+	margin-top: 1em;
+	margin-bottom: 1em;
+	}
+    BODY{margin-left: 10%;
+         margin-right: 10%;
+        }
+ table { border-collapse: collapse; }
+table {margin-left:auto; margin-right:auto;}
+    td { vertical-align: top; border: 1px solid black;}
+    td p { margin: 0.2em; }
+    .blkquot  {margin-left: 4em; margin-right: 4em;} /* block indent */
+
+    .smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
+
+    .pagenum {position: absolute;
+               left: 92%;
+               font-size: small;
+               text-align: right;
+		font-weight: normal;
+               color: gray;
+               }
+    img { border: none; }
+    img.dc { float: left; width: 50px; height: 50px; }
+    p.gutindent { margin-left: 2em; }
+    div.gapspace { height: 0.8em; }
+    div.gapline { height: 0.8em; width: 100%; border-top: 1px solid;} 
+    div.gapmediumline { height: 0.3em; width: 40%; margin-left:30%;
+                  border-top: 1px solid; }
+    div.gapmediumdoubleline { height: 0.3em; width: 40%; margin-left:30%;
+		  border-top: 1px solid; border-bottom: 1px solid;}
+     div.gapshortdoubleline { height: 0.3em; width: 20%;
+                  margin-left: 40%; border-top: 1px solid;
+                  border-bottom: 1px solid; }
+    div.gapdoubleline { height: 0.3em; width: 50%;
+                  margin-left: 25%; border-top: 1px solid;
+                  border-bottom: 1px solid;}
+    div.gapshortline { height: 0.3em; width: 20%; margin-left:40%;
+		  border-top: 1px solid; }
+    .citation {vertical-align: super;
+               font-size: .8em;
+               text-decoration: none;}
+    img.floatleft { float: left;
+			margin-right: 1em;
+			margin-top: 0.5em; margin-bottom: 0.5em; }
+    img.floatright { float: right;
+			margin-left: 1em; margin-top: 0.5em;
+			margin-bottom: 0.5em; }
+    img.clearcenter {display: block;
+			margin-left: auto;
+			margin-right: auto; margin-top: 0.5em;
+			margin-bottom: 0.5em}
+    -->
+    /* XML end  ]]>*/
+    </style>
+</head>
+<body>
+<pre>
+
+The Project Gutenberg eBook, The Garotters, by William D. Howells
+
+
+This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere in the United States and most
+other parts of the world at no cost and with almost no restrictions 
+whatsoever.  You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms of
+the Project Gutenberg License included with this eBook or online at 
+www.gutenberg.org.  If you are not located in the United States, you'll have
+to check the laws of the country where you are located before using this ebook.
+
+
+
+
+Title: The Garotters
+
+
+Author: William D. Howells
+
+
+
+Release Date: September 24, 2014  [eBook #3237]
+[This file was first posted on 5 February 2001]
+
+Language: English
+
+Character set encoding: ISO-646-US (US-ASCII)
+
+
+***START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE GAROTTERS***
+</pre>
+<p>Transcribed from the 1897 David Douglas edition by David
+Price, email ccx074@pglaf.org</p>
+<p style="text-align: center">
+<a href="images/coverb.jpg">
+<img alt=
+"Book cover"
+title=
+"Book cover"
+ src="images/covers.jpg" />
+</a></p>
+<h1>THE GAROTTERS</h1>
+<p style="text-align: center"><span
+class="GutSmall">BY</span></p>
+<p style="text-align: center">WILLIAM D. HOWELLS</p>
+<p style="text-align: center">
+<a href="images/tpb.jpg">
+<img alt=
+"Decorative graphic"
+title=
+"Decorative graphic"
+ src="images/tps.jpg" />
+</a></p>
+<p style="text-align: center"><i>Author&rsquo;s Edition</i></p>
+
+<div class="gapspace">&nbsp;</div>
+<p style="text-align: center">EDINBURGH<br />
+DAVID DOUGLAS, CASTLE STREET<br />
+1897</p>
+<p style="text-align: center"><i>For leave to act</i>, <i>apply
+to the publisher</i></p>
+<p style="text-align: center"><i>All rights reserved</i></p>
+
+<div class="gapspace">&nbsp;</div>
+<p style="text-align: center"><span
+class="smcap">Edinburgh</span>: Printed by T. and A. <span
+class="smcap">Constable</span> for<br />
+<span class="smcap">David Douglas</span></p>
+<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">London</span>:
+<span class="smcap">Simpkin</span>, <span class="smcap">Marshall
+and Co</span>.</p>
+<h2>PART FIRST</h2>
+<h3>I<br />
+MRS. ROBERTS; THEN MR. ROBERTS</h3>
+<p><span class="smcap">At</span> the window of her apartment in
+Hotel Bellingham, Mrs. Roberts stands looking out into the early
+nightfall.&nbsp; A heavy snow is driving without, and from time
+to time the rush of the wind and the sweep of the flakes against
+the panes are heard.&nbsp; At the sound of hurried steps in the
+anteroom, Mrs. Roberts turns from the window, and runs to the
+<i>porti&egrave;re</i>, through which she puts her head.</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Roberts</span>: &lsquo;Is that you,
+Edward?&nbsp; So dark here!&nbsp; We ought really to keep the gas
+turned up all the time.&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Mr. Roberts</span>, in a muffled voice,
+from without: &lsquo;Yes, it&rsquo;s I.&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Roberts</span>: &lsquo;Well, hurry in
+to the fire, do!&nbsp; Ugh, what a storm!&nbsp; Do you suppose
+anybody will come?&nbsp; You must be half frozen, you poor
+thing!&nbsp; Come quick, or you&rsquo;ll certainly
+perish!&rsquo;&nbsp; She flies from the <i>porti&egrave;re</i> to
+the fire burning on the hearth, pokes it, flings on a log, jumps
+back, brushes from her dress with a light shriek the sparks
+driven out upon it, and continues talking incessantly in a voice
+lifted for her husband to hear in the anteroom.&nbsp; &lsquo;If
+I&rsquo;d dreamed it was any such storm as this, I should never
+have let you go out in it in the world.&nbsp; It wasn&rsquo;t at
+all necessary to have the flowers.&nbsp; I could have got on
+perfectly well, and I believe <i>now</i> the table would look
+better without them.&nbsp; The chrysanthemums would have been
+quite enough; and I know you&rsquo;ve taken more cold.&nbsp; I
+could tell it by your voice as soon as you spoke; and just as
+quick as they&rsquo;re gone to-night I&rsquo;m going to have you
+bathe your feet in mustard and hot water, and take eight of
+aconite, and go straight to bed.&nbsp; And I don&rsquo;t want you
+to eat very much at dinner, dear, and you must be sure not to
+drink any coffee, or the aconite won&rsquo;t be of the least
+use.&rsquo;&nbsp; She turns and encounters her husband, who
+enters through the <i>porti&egrave;re</i>, his face pale, his
+eyes wild, his white necktie pulled out of knot, and his shirt
+front rumpled.&nbsp; &lsquo;Why, Edward, what in the world is the
+matter?&nbsp; What has happened?&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Roberts</span>, sinking into a chair:
+&lsquo;Get me a glass of water,
+Agnes&mdash;wine&mdash;whisky&mdash;brandy&mdash;&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Roberts</span>, bustling wildly
+about: &lsquo;Yes, yes.&nbsp; But what&mdash;Bella!&nbsp;
+Bridget!&nbsp; Maggy!&mdash;Oh, I&rsquo;ll go for it myself, and
+I <i>won&rsquo;t</i> stop to listen!&nbsp; Only&mdash;only
+don&rsquo;t die!&rsquo;&nbsp; While Roberts remains with his eyes
+shut, and his head sunk on his breast in token of extreme
+exhaustion, she disappears and reappears through the door leading
+to her chamber, and then through the <i>porti&egrave;re</i>
+cutting off the dining-room.&nbsp; She finally descends upon her
+husband with a flagon of cologne in one hand, a small decanter of
+brandy in the other, and a wineglass held in the hollow of her
+arm against her breast.&nbsp; She contrives to set the glass down
+on the mantel and fill it from the flagon, then she turns with
+the decanter in her hand, and while she presses the glass to her
+husband&rsquo;s lips, begins to pour the brandy on his
+head.&nbsp; &lsquo;Here! this will revive you, and it&rsquo;ll
+refresh you to have this cologne on your head.&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Roberts</span>, rejecting a mouthful of
+the cologne with a furious sputter, and springing to his feet:
+&lsquo;Why, you&rsquo;ve given me the cologne to <i>drink</i>,
+Agnes!&nbsp; What are you about?&nbsp; Do you want to poison
+me?&nbsp; Isn&rsquo;t it enough to be robbed at six o&rsquo;clock
+on the Common, without having your head soaked in brandy, and
+your whole system scented up like a barber&rsquo;s shop, when you
+get home?&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Roberts</span>:
+&lsquo;Robbed?&rsquo;&nbsp; She drops the wineglass, puts the
+decanter down on the hearth, and carefully bestowing the flagon
+of cologne in the wood-box, abandons herself to justice:
+&lsquo;Then let them come for me at once, Edward!&nbsp; If I
+could have the heart to send you out in such a night as this for
+a few wretched rosebuds, I&rsquo;m quite equal to poisoning
+you.&nbsp; Oh, Edward, <i>who</i> robbed you?&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Roberts</span>: &lsquo;That&rsquo;s what I
+don&rsquo;t know.&rsquo;&nbsp; He continues to wipe his head with
+his handkerchief, and to sputter a little from time to
+time.&nbsp; &lsquo;All I know is that when I
+got&mdash;phew!&mdash;to that dark spot by the Frog Pond, just
+by&mdash;phew!&mdash;that little group
+of&mdash;phew!&mdash;evergreens, you
+know&mdash;phew!&mdash;&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Roberts</span>: &lsquo;Yes, yes; go
+on!&nbsp; I can bear it, Edward.&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Roberts</span>: &lsquo;&mdash;a man
+brushed heavily against me, and then hurried on in the other
+direction.&nbsp; I had unbuttoned my coat to look at my watch
+under the lamp-post, and after he struck against me I clapped my
+hand to my waistcoat, and&mdash;phew!&mdash;&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Roberts</span>:
+&lsquo;Waistcoat!&nbsp; Yes!&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Roberts</span>: &lsquo;&mdash;found my
+watch gone.&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Roberts</span>: &lsquo;What!&nbsp;
+Your watch?&nbsp; The watch Willis gave you?&nbsp; Made out of
+the gold that he mined himself when he first went out to
+California?&nbsp; Don&rsquo;t ask me to believe it, Edward!&nbsp;
+But I&rsquo;m only too glad that you escaped with your
+life.&nbsp; Let them have the watch and welcome.&nbsp; Oh, nay
+dear, dear husband!&rsquo;&nbsp; She approaches him with extended
+arms, and then suddenly arrests herself.&nbsp; &lsquo;But
+you&rsquo;ve got it on!&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Roberts</span>, with as much returning
+dignity as can comport with his dishevelled appearance:
+&lsquo;Yes; I took it from him.&rsquo;&nbsp; At his wife&rsquo;s
+speechless astonishment: &lsquo;I went after him and took it from
+him.&rsquo;&nbsp; He sits down, and continues with resolute calm,
+while his wife remains standing before him motionless:
+&lsquo;Agnes, I don&rsquo;t know how I came to do it.&nbsp; I
+wouldn&rsquo;t have believed I could do it.&nbsp; I&rsquo;ve
+never thought that I had much courage&mdash;physical courage; but
+when I felt my watch was gone, a sort of frenzy came over
+me.&nbsp; I wasn&rsquo;t hurt; and for the first time in my life
+I realised what an abominable outrage theft was.&nbsp; The
+thought that at six o&rsquo;clock in the evening, in the very
+heart of a great city like Boston, an inoffensive citizen could
+be assaulted and robbed, made me furious.&nbsp; I didn&rsquo;t
+call out.&nbsp; I simply buttoned my coat tight round me and
+turned and ran after the fellow.&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Roberts</span>:
+&lsquo;Edward!&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Roberts</span>: &lsquo;Yes, I did.&nbsp;
+He hadn&rsquo;t got half-a-dozen rods away&mdash;it all took
+place in a flash&mdash;and I could easily run him down.&nbsp; He
+was considerably larger than I&mdash;&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Roberts</span>: &lsquo;Oh!&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Roberts</span>: &lsquo;&mdash;and he
+looked young and very athletic; but these things didn&rsquo;t
+seem to make any impression on me.&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Roberts</span>: &lsquo;Oh, I wonder
+that you live to tell the tale, Edward!&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Roberts</span>: &lsquo;Well, I wonder a
+little at myself.&nbsp; I don&rsquo;t set up for a great deal
+of&mdash;&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Roberts</span>: &lsquo;But I always
+knew you had it!&nbsp; Go on.&nbsp; Oh, when I tell Willis of
+this!&nbsp; Had the robber any accomplices?&nbsp; Were there many
+of them?&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Roberts</span>: &lsquo;I only saw
+one.&nbsp; And I saw that my only chance was to take him at a
+disadvantage.&nbsp; I sprang upon him, and pulled him over on his
+back.&nbsp; I merely said, &ldquo;I&rsquo;ll trouble you for that
+watch of mine, if you please,&rdquo; jerked open his coat,
+snatched the watch from his pocket&mdash;I broke the chain, I
+see&mdash;and then left him and ran again.&nbsp; He didn&rsquo;t
+make the slightest resistance nor utter a word.&nbsp; Of course
+it wouldn&rsquo;t do for him to make any noise about it, and I
+dare say he was glad to get off so easily.&rsquo;&nbsp; With
+affected nonchalance: &lsquo;I&rsquo;m pretty badly rumpled, I
+see.&nbsp; He fell against me, and a scuffle like that
+doesn&rsquo;t improve one&rsquo;s appearance.&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Roberts</span>, very solemnly:
+&lsquo;Edward!&nbsp; I don&rsquo;t know what to say!&nbsp; Of
+course it makes my blood run cold to realise what you have been
+through, and to think what might have happened; but I think you
+behaved splendidly.&nbsp; Why, I never heard of such perfect
+heroism!&nbsp; You needn&rsquo;t tell <i>me</i> that he made no
+resistance.&nbsp; There was a deadly struggle&mdash;your necktie
+and everything about you shows it.&nbsp; And you needn&rsquo;t
+think there was only one of them&mdash;&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Roberts</span>, modestly: &lsquo;I
+don&rsquo;t believe there was more.&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Roberts</span>:
+&lsquo;Nonsense!&nbsp; There are <i>always</i> two!&nbsp;
+I&rsquo;ve read the accounts of those garottings.&nbsp; And to
+think you not only got out of their clutches alive, but got your
+property back&mdash;Willis&rsquo;s watch!&nbsp; Oh, what
+<i>will</i> Willis say?&nbsp; But I know how proud of you
+he&rsquo;ll be.&nbsp; Oh, I wish I could scream it from the
+house-tops.&nbsp; Why didn&rsquo;t you call the
+police?&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Roberts</span>: &lsquo;I didn&rsquo;t
+think&mdash;I hadn&rsquo;t time to think.&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Roberts</span>: &lsquo;No
+matter.&nbsp; I&rsquo;m glad you have <i>all</i> the glory of
+it.&nbsp; I don&rsquo;t believe you half realise what
+you&rsquo;ve been through now.&nbsp; And perhaps this was the
+robbers&rsquo; first attempt, and it will be a lesson to
+them.&nbsp; Oh yes!&nbsp; I&rsquo;m glad you let them escape,
+Edward.&nbsp; They may have families.&nbsp; If every one behaved
+as you&rsquo;ve done, there would soon be an end of
+garotting.&nbsp; But, oh!&nbsp; I can&rsquo;t bear to think of
+the danger you&rsquo;ve run.&nbsp; And I want you to promise me
+never, never to undertake such a thing again!&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Roberts</span>: &lsquo;Well, I don&rsquo;t
+know&mdash;&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Roberts</span>: &lsquo;Yes, yes; you
+must!&nbsp; Suppose you had got killed in that awful struggle
+with those reckless wretches tugging to get away from you!&nbsp;
+Think of the children!&nbsp; Why, you might have burst a
+blood-vessel!&nbsp; Will you promise, Edward?&nbsp; Promise this
+instant, on your bended knees, just as if you were in a court of
+justice!&rsquo;&nbsp; Mrs. Roberts&rsquo;s excitement mounts, and
+she flings herself at her husband&rsquo;s feet, and pulls his
+face down to hers with the arm she has thrown about his
+neck.&nbsp; &lsquo;Will you promise?&rsquo;</p>
+<h3>II<br />
+MRS. CRASHAW; MR. AND MRS. ROBERTS</h3>
+<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Crashaw</span>, entering unobserved:
+&lsquo;Promise you what, Agnes?&nbsp; The man doesn&rsquo;t smoke
+<i>now</i>.&nbsp; What more can you ask?&rsquo;&nbsp; She starts
+back from the spectacle of Roberts&rsquo;s disordered
+dress.&nbsp; &lsquo;Why, what&rsquo;s happened to you,
+Edward?&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Roberts</span>, springing to her
+feet: &lsquo;Oh, you may well ask that, Aunt Mary!&nbsp;
+Happened?&nbsp; You ought to fall down and worship him!&nbsp; And
+you <i>will</i> when you know what he&rsquo;s been through.&nbsp;
+He&rsquo;s been robbed!&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Crashaw</span>: &lsquo;Robbed?&nbsp;
+What nonsense!&nbsp; Who robbed him?&nbsp; <i>Where</i> was he
+robbed?&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Roberts</span>: &lsquo;He was
+attacked by two garotters&mdash;&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Roberts</span>: &lsquo;No,
+no&mdash;&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Roberts</span>: &lsquo;Don&rsquo;t
+speak, Edward!&nbsp; I <i>know</i> there were two.&nbsp; On the
+Common.&nbsp; Not half an hour ago.&nbsp; As he was going to get
+me some rosebuds.&nbsp; In the midst of this terrible
+storm.&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Crashaw</span>: &lsquo;Is this true,
+Edward?&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Roberts</span>: &lsquo;Don&rsquo;t
+answer, Edward!&nbsp; One of the band threw his arm round
+Edward&rsquo;s neck&mdash;so.&rsquo;&nbsp; She illustrates by
+garotting Mrs. Crashaw, who disengages herself with
+difficulty.</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Crashaw</span>: &lsquo;Mercy,
+child!&nbsp; What <i>are</i> you doing to my lace?&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Roberts</span>: &lsquo;And the other
+one snatched his watch, and ran as fast as he could.&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Crashaw</span>: &lsquo;Willis&rsquo;s
+watch?&nbsp; Why, he&rsquo;s got it on.&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Roberts</span>, with proud delight:
+&lsquo;Exactly what I said when he told me.&rsquo;&nbsp; Then,
+very solemnly: &lsquo;And do you know <i>why</i> he&rsquo;s got
+it on?&mdash;&rsquo;Sh, Edward!&nbsp; I <i>will</i> tell!&nbsp;
+Because he ran after them and took it back again.&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Crashaw</span>: &lsquo;Why, they
+might have killed him!&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Roberts</span>: &lsquo;Of
+<i>course</i> they might.&nbsp; But <i>Edward</i> didn&rsquo;t
+care.&nbsp; The idea of being robbed at six o&rsquo;clock on the
+Common made him so furious that he scorned to cry out for help,
+or call the police, or anything; but he just ran after
+them&mdash;&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Roberts</span>: &lsquo;Agnes!&nbsp;
+Agnes!&nbsp; There was only <i>one</i>.&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Roberts</span>: &lsquo;Nonsense,
+Edward!&nbsp; How could you tell, so excited as you
+were?&mdash;And caught hold of the largest of the
+wretches&mdash;a perfect young giant&mdash;&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Roberts</span>: &lsquo;No, no; not a
+<i>giant</i>, my dear.&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Roberts</span>: &lsquo;Well, he was
+<i>young</i>, anyway!&mdash;And flung him on the
+ground.&rsquo;&nbsp; She advances upon Mrs. Crashaw in her
+enthusiasm.</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Crashaw</span>: &lsquo;Don&rsquo;t
+you fling <i>me</i> on the ground, Agnes!&nbsp; I won&rsquo;t
+have it.&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Roberts</span>: &lsquo;And tore his
+coat open, while all the rest were tugging at him, and snatched
+his watch, and then&mdash;and then just walked coolly
+away.&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Roberts</span>: &lsquo;No, my dear; I ran
+as fast as I could.&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Roberts</span>: &lsquo;Well,
+<i>ran</i>.&nbsp; It&rsquo;s quite the same thing, and I&rsquo;m
+just as proud of you as if you had walked.&nbsp; Of course you
+were not going to throw your life away.&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Crashaw</span>: &lsquo;I think he did
+a very silly thing in going after them at all.&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Roberts</span>: &lsquo;Why, of course, if
+I&rsquo;d thought twice about it, I shouldn&rsquo;t have done
+it.&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Roberts</span>: &lsquo;Of course you
+wouldn&rsquo;t, dear!&nbsp; And that&rsquo;s what I want him to
+promise, Aunt Mary: never to do it again, no matter <i>how</i>
+much he&rsquo;s provoked.&nbsp; I want him to promise it right
+here in your presence, Aunt Mary!&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Crashaw</span>: &lsquo;I think
+it&rsquo;s much more important he should put on another collar
+and&mdash;shirt, if he&rsquo;s going to see company.&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Roberts</span>: &lsquo;Yes; go right
+off at once, Edward.&nbsp; How you <i>do</i> think of things,
+Aunt Mary!&nbsp; I really suppose I should have gone on all night
+and never noticed his looks.&nbsp; Run, Edward, and do it,
+dear.&nbsp; But&mdash;kiss me first!&nbsp; Oh, it
+<i>don&rsquo;t</i> seem as if you could be alive and well after
+it all!&nbsp; Are you sure you&rsquo;re not hurt?&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Roberts</span>, embracing her: &lsquo;No;
+I&rsquo;m all right.&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Roberts</span>: &lsquo;And
+you&rsquo;re not injured internally?&nbsp; Sometimes
+they&rsquo;re injured internally&mdash;aren&rsquo;t they, Aunt
+Mary?&mdash;and it doesn&rsquo;t show till months
+afterwards.&nbsp; Are you sure?&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Roberts</span>, making a cursory
+examination of his ribs with his hands: &lsquo;Yes, I think
+so.&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Roberts</span>: &lsquo;And you
+don&rsquo;t feel any bad effects from the cologne
+<i>now</i>?&nbsp; Just think, Aunt Mary, I gave him cologne to
+drink, and poured the brandy on his head, when he came in!&nbsp;
+But I was determined to keep calm, whatever I did.&nbsp; And if
+I&rsquo;ve poisoned him I&rsquo;m quite willing to die for
+it&mdash;oh, quite!&nbsp; I would gladly take the blame of it
+before the whole world.&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Crashaw</span>: &lsquo;Well, for
+pity&rsquo;s sake, let the man go and make himself decent.&nbsp;
+There&rsquo;s your bell now.&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Roberts</span>: &lsquo;Yes, do go,
+Edward.&nbsp; But&mdash;kiss me&mdash;&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Crashaw</span>: &lsquo;He <i>did</i>
+kiss you, Agnes.&nbsp; Don&rsquo;t be a simpleton!&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Roberts</span>: &lsquo;Did he?&nbsp;
+Well, kiss me again, then, Edward.&nbsp; And now do go,
+dear.&nbsp; M-m-m-m.&rsquo;&nbsp; The inarticulate endearments
+represented by these signs terminate in a wild embrace,
+protracted halfway across the room, in the height of which Mr.
+Willis Campbell enters.</p>
+<h3>III<br />
+MR. CAMPBELL, MRS. CRASHAW, MR. AND MRS. ROBERTS</h3>
+<p><span class="smcap">Willis</span>, pausing in contemplation:
+&lsquo;Hello!&nbsp; What&rsquo;s the matter?&nbsp; What&rsquo;s
+she trying to get out of you, Roberts?&nbsp; Don&rsquo;t you do
+it, anyway, old fellow.&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Roberts</span>, in an ecstasy of
+satisfaction: &lsquo;Willis!&nbsp; Oh, you&rsquo;ve come in time
+to see him just as he is.&nbsp; Look at him, Willis!&rsquo;&nbsp;
+In the excess of her emotion she twitches her husband about, and
+with his arm fast in her clutch, presents him in the
+disadvantageous effect of having just been taken into
+custody.&nbsp; Under these circumstances Roberts&rsquo;s attempt
+at an expression of diffident heroism fails; he looks sneaking,
+he looks guilty, and his eyes fall under the astonished regard of
+his brother-in-law.</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Willis</span>: &lsquo;What&rsquo;s the
+matter with him?&nbsp; What&rsquo;s he been doing?&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Roberts</span>: &lsquo;&rsquo;Sh,
+Edward!&nbsp; What&rsquo;s he been doing?&nbsp; What does he look
+as if he had been doing?&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Crashaw</span>:
+&lsquo;Agnes&mdash;&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Willis</span>: &lsquo;He looks as if he
+had been signing the pledge.&nbsp; And he&mdash;smells like
+it.&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Roberts</span>: &lsquo;For shame,
+Willis!&nbsp; I should think you&rsquo;d sink through the
+floor.&nbsp; Edward, not a word!&nbsp; I <i>am</i> ashamed of
+him, if he <i>is</i> my brother.&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Willis</span>: &lsquo;Why, what in the
+world&rsquo;s up, Agnes?&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Roberts</span>: &lsquo;Up?&nbsp;
+He&rsquo;s been <i>robbed</i>!&mdash;robbed on the Common, not
+five minutes ago!&nbsp; A whole gang of garotters surrounded him
+under the Old Elm&mdash;or just where it used to be&mdash;and
+took his watch away!&nbsp; And he ran after them, and knocked the
+largest of the gang down, and took it back again.&nbsp; He
+wasn&rsquo;t hurt, but we&rsquo;re afraid he&rsquo;s been injured
+internally; he may be bleeding internally <i>now</i>&mdash;Oh, do
+you think he is, Willis?&nbsp; Don&rsquo;t you think we ought to
+send for a physician?&mdash;That, and the cologne I gave him to
+drink.&nbsp; It&rsquo;s the brandy I poured on his head makes him
+smell so.&nbsp; And he all so exhausted he couldn&rsquo;t speak,
+and I didn&rsquo;t know what I was doing, either; but he&rsquo;s
+promised&mdash;oh yes, he&rsquo;s promised!&mdash;never, never to
+do it again.&rsquo;&nbsp; She again flings her arms about her
+husband, and then turns proudly to her brother.</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Willis</span>: &lsquo;Do you know what it
+means, Aunt Mary?&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Crashaw</span>: &lsquo;Not in the
+least!&nbsp; But I&rsquo;ve no doubt that Edward can explain,
+after he&rsquo;s changed his linen&mdash;&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Roberts</span>: &lsquo;Oh yes, do go,
+Edward!&nbsp; Not but what I should be proud and happy to have
+you appear just as you are before the whole world, if it was only
+to put Willis down with his jokes about your absent-mindedness,
+and his boasts about those California desperadoes of
+his.&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Roberts</span>: &lsquo;Come, come,
+Agnes!&nbsp; I <i>must</i> protest against your&mdash;&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Roberts</span>: &lsquo;Oh, I know it
+doesn&rsquo;t become me to praise your courage, darling!&nbsp;
+But I should like to know what Willis would have done, with all
+his California experience, if a garotter had taken his
+watch?&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Willis</span>: &lsquo;I should have let
+him keep it, and pay five dollars a quarter himself for getting
+it cleaned and spoiled.&nbsp; Anybody but a literary man
+would.&nbsp; How many of them were there, Roberts?&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Roberts</span>: &lsquo;I only saw
+one.&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Roberts</span>: &lsquo;But of course
+there were more.&nbsp; How could he tell, in the dark and
+excitement?&nbsp; And the one he did see was a perfect giant; so
+you can imagine what the rest must have been like.&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Willis</span>: &lsquo;Did you really knock
+him down?&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Roberts</span>: &lsquo;Knock him
+down?&nbsp; Of course he did.&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Crashaw</span>: &lsquo;Agnes,
+<i>will</i> you hold your tongue, and let the men
+alone?&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Roberts</span>, whimpering: &lsquo;I
+can&rsquo;t, Aunt Mary.&nbsp; And you couldn&rsquo;t, if it was
+yours.&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Roberts</span>: &lsquo;I pulled him over
+backwards.&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Roberts</span>: &lsquo;There,
+Willis!&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Willis</span>: &lsquo;And grabbed your
+watch from him?&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Roberts</span>: &lsquo;I was in quite a
+frenzy; I really hardly knew what I was doing&mdash;&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Roberts</span>: &lsquo;And he
+didn&rsquo;t call for the police, or anything&mdash;&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Willis</span>: &lsquo;Ah, that showed
+presence of mind!&nbsp; He knew it wouldn&rsquo;t have been any
+use.&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Roberts</span>: &lsquo;And when he
+had got his watch away from them, he just let them go, because
+they had families dependent on them.&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Willis</span>: &lsquo;I should have let
+them go in the first place, but you behaved handsomely in the
+end, Roberts; there&rsquo;s no denying that.&nbsp; And when you
+came in she gave you cologne to drink, and poured brandy on your
+head.&nbsp; It must have revived you.&nbsp; I should think it
+would wake the dead.&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Roberts</span>: &lsquo;I was all
+excitement, Willis&mdash;&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Willis</span>: &lsquo;No, I should think
+from the fact that you had set the decanter here on the hearth,
+and put your cologne into the wood-box, you were perfectly calm,
+Agnes.&rsquo;&nbsp; He takes them up and hands them to her.&nbsp;
+&lsquo;Quite as calm as usual.&rsquo;&nbsp; The door-bell
+rings.</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Crashaw</span>: &lsquo;Willis,
+<i>will</i> you let that ridiculous man go away and make himself
+presentable before people begin to come?&rsquo;&nbsp; The bell
+rings violently, peal upon peal.</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Roberts</span>: &lsquo;Oh, my
+goodness, what&rsquo;s that?&nbsp; It&rsquo;s the
+garotters&mdash;I know it is; and we shall all be murdered in our
+beds!&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Crashaw</span>: &lsquo;What in the
+world can it&mdash;&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Willis</span>: &lsquo;Why don&rsquo;t your
+girl answer the bell, Agnes?&nbsp; Or I&rsquo;ll go
+myself.&rsquo;&nbsp; The bell rings violently again.</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Roberts</span>: &lsquo;<i>No</i>,
+Willis, you sha&rsquo;n&rsquo;t!&nbsp; Don&rsquo;t leave me,
+Edward!&nbsp; Aunt Mary!&mdash;Oh, if we <i>must</i> die, let us
+all die together!&nbsp; Oh, my poor children!&nbsp; Ugh!&nbsp;
+What&rsquo;s that?&rsquo;&nbsp; The servant-maid opens the outer
+door, and uttering a shriek, rushes in through the drawing-room
+<i>porti&egrave;re</i>.</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Bella the Maid</span>: &lsquo;Oh, my
+goodness!&nbsp; Mrs. Roberts, it&rsquo;s Mr. Bemis!&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Roberts</span>: &lsquo;Which Mr.
+Bemis?&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Roberts</span>: &lsquo;What&rsquo;s the
+matter with him?&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Crashaw</span>: &lsquo;Why
+doesn&rsquo;t she show him in?&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Willis</span>: &lsquo;Has <i>he</i> been
+garotting somebody too?&rsquo;</p>
+<h3>SCENE IV: MR. BEMIS, MR. CAMPBELL, MR. AND MRS. ROBERTS</h3>
+<p><span class="smcap">Bemis</span>, appearing through the
+<i>porti&egrave;re</i>: &lsquo;I&mdash;I beg your pardon, Mrs.
+Roberts.&nbsp; I oughtn&rsquo;t to present myself in this
+state&mdash;I&mdash;&nbsp; But I thought I&rsquo;d better stop on
+my way home and report, so that my son needn&rsquo;t be alarmed
+at my absence when he comes.&nbsp; I&mdash;&rsquo;&nbsp; He
+stops, exhausted, and regards the others with a wild stare, while
+they stand taking note of his disordered coat, his torn vest, and
+his tumbled hat.&nbsp; &lsquo;I&rsquo;ve just been
+robbed&mdash;&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Roberts</span>: &lsquo;Robbed?&nbsp;
+Why, <i>Edward</i> has been robbed too.&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Bemis</span>: &lsquo;&mdash;coming through
+the Common&mdash;&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Roberts</span>: &lsquo;Yes,
+<i>Edward</i> was coming through the Common.&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Bemis</span>: &lsquo;&mdash;of my
+watch&mdash;&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Roberts</span>, in rapturous
+admiration of the coincidence: &lsquo;Oh, and it was
+Edward&rsquo;s <i>watch</i> they took!&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Willis</span>: &lsquo;It&rsquo;s a
+parallel case, Agnes.&nbsp; Pour him out a glass of cologne to
+drink, and rub his head with brandy.&nbsp; And you might let him
+sit down and rest while you&rsquo;re enjoying the
+excitement.&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Roberts</span>, in hospitable
+remorse: &lsquo;Oh, what am I thinking of!&nbsp; Here,
+Edward&mdash;or no, you&rsquo;re too weak, you
+mustn&rsquo;t.&nbsp; Willis, <i>you</i> help me to help him to
+the sofa.&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Crashaw</span>: &lsquo;I think
+you&rsquo;d better help him off with his overcoat and his
+arctics.&rsquo;&nbsp; To the maid: &lsquo;Here, Bella, if you
+haven&rsquo;t quite taken leave of your wits, undo his
+shoes.&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Roberts</span>: &lsquo;<i>I&rsquo;ll</i>
+help him off with his coat&mdash;&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Bemis</span>: &lsquo;Careful!
+careful!&nbsp; I may be injured internally.&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Roberts</span>: &lsquo;Oh, if you
+only <i>were</i>, Mr. Bemis, perhaps I could persuade Edward that
+he was too: I <i>know</i> he is.&nbsp; Edward, don&rsquo;t exert
+yourself!&nbsp; Aunt Mary, will you <i>stop</i> him, or do you
+all wish to see me go distracted here before your
+eyes?&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Willis</span>, examining the overcoat
+which Roberts has removed: &lsquo;Well, you won&rsquo;t have much
+trouble buttoning and unbuttoning this coat for the
+present.&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Bemis</span>: &lsquo;They tore it open,
+and tore my watch from my vest pocket&mdash;&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Willis</span>, looking at the vest:
+&lsquo;I see.&nbsp; Pretty lively work.&nbsp; Were there many of
+them?&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Bemis</span>: &lsquo;There must have been
+two at least&mdash;&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Roberts</span>: &lsquo;There were
+half a dozen in the gang that attacked Edward.&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Bemis</span>: &lsquo;One of them pulled me
+violently over on my back&mdash;&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Roberts</span>: &lsquo;Edward&rsquo;s
+put <i>his</i> arm round his neck and choked him.&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Crashaw</span>:
+&lsquo;Agnes!&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Roberts</span>: &lsquo;I <i>know</i>
+he did, Aunt Mary.&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Bemis</span>: &lsquo;And the other tore my
+watch out of my pocket.&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Roberts</span>:
+&lsquo;<i>Edward&rsquo;s</i>&mdash;&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Crashaw</span>: &lsquo;Agnes,
+I&rsquo;m thoroughly ashamed of you.&nbsp; <i>Will</i> you stop
+interrupting?&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Bemis</span>: &lsquo;And left me lying in
+the snow.&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Roberts</span>: &lsquo;And then he
+ran after them, and snatched his watch away again in spite of
+them all; and he didn&rsquo;t call for the police, or anything,
+because it was their first offence, and he couldn&rsquo;t bear to
+think of their suffering families.&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Bemis</span>, with a stare of profound
+astonishment: &lsquo;Who?&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Roberts</span>: &lsquo;Edward.&nbsp;
+Didn&rsquo;t I <i>say</i> Edward, all the time?&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Bemis</span>: &lsquo;I thought you meant
+me.&nbsp; I didn&rsquo;t think of pursuing them; but you may be
+very sure that if there had been a policeman within call&mdash;of
+course there wasn&rsquo;t one within cannon-shot&mdash;I should
+have handed the scoundrels over without the slightest
+remorse.&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Roberts</span>: &lsquo;Oh!&rsquo;&nbsp; He
+sinks into a chair with a slight groan.</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Willis</span>: &lsquo;What is
+it?&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Roberts</span>: &lsquo;&rsquo;Sh!&nbsp;
+Don&rsquo;t say anything.&nbsp; But&mdash;stay here.&nbsp; I want
+to speak with you, Willis.&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Bemis</span>, with mounting wrath:
+&lsquo;I should not have hesitated an instant to give the rascal
+in charge, no matter who was dependent upon him&mdash;no matter
+if he were my dearest friend, my own brother.&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Roberts</span>, under his breath:
+&lsquo;Gracious powers!&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Bemis</span>: &lsquo;And while I am very
+sorry to disagree with Mr. Roberts, I can&rsquo;t help feeling
+that he made a great mistake in allowing the ruffians to
+escape.&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Crashaw</span>, with severity:
+&lsquo;I think you are quite right, Mr. Bemis.&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Bemis</span>: &lsquo;Probably it was the
+same gang attacked us both.&nbsp; After escaping from Mr. Roberts
+they fell upon me.&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Crashaw</span>: &lsquo;I
+haven&rsquo;t a doubt of it.&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Roberts</span>, <i>sotto voce</i> to his
+brother-in-law: &lsquo;I think I&rsquo;ll ask you to go with me
+to my room, Willis.&nbsp; Don&rsquo;t alarm Agnes, please.&nbsp;
+I&mdash;I feel quite faint.&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Roberts</span>, crestfallen: &lsquo;I
+can&rsquo;t feel that Edward was to blame.&nbsp; Ed&mdash;Oh, I
+suppose he&rsquo;s gone off to make himself presentable.&nbsp;
+But Willis&mdash;Where&rsquo;s Willis, Aunt Mary?&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Crashaw</span>: &lsquo;Probably gone
+with him to help him.&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Roberts</span>: &lsquo;Oh, he
+<i>saw</i> how unstrung poor Edward was!&nbsp; Mr. Bemis, I think
+you&rsquo;re quite prejudiced.&nbsp; How could Edward help their
+escaping?&nbsp; I think it was quite enough for him,
+single-handed, to get his watch back.&rsquo;&nbsp; A ring at the
+door, and then a number of voices in the anteroom.&nbsp; &lsquo;I
+do believe they&rsquo;re all there!&nbsp; I&rsquo;ll just run out
+and prepare your son.&nbsp; He would be dreadfully shocked if he
+came right in upon you.&rsquo;&nbsp; She runs into the anteroom,
+and is heard without: &lsquo;Oh, Dr. Lawton!&nbsp; Oh, Lou
+dear!&nbsp; <i>Oh</i>, Mr. Bemis!&nbsp; How can I ever tell
+you?&nbsp; Your poor father!&nbsp; No, no, I <i>can&rsquo;t</i>
+tell you!&nbsp; You mustn&rsquo;t ask me!&nbsp; It&rsquo;s too
+hideous!&nbsp; And you wouldn&rsquo;t believe me if I
+did.&rsquo;</p>
+<p><i>Chorus of anguished voices</i>: &lsquo;What? what?
+what?&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Roberts</span>: &lsquo;They&rsquo;ve
+been robbed!&nbsp; Garotted on the Common!&nbsp; And, <i>oh</i>,
+Dr. Lawton, I&rsquo;m so glad <i>you&rsquo;ve</i> come!&nbsp;
+They&rsquo;re both injured internally, but I <i>wish</i>
+you&rsquo;d look at Edward first.&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Bemis</span>: &lsquo;Good heavens!&nbsp;
+Is that Mrs. Roberts&rsquo;s idea of preparing my son?&nbsp; And
+his poor young wife!&rsquo;&nbsp; He addresses his demand to Mrs.
+Crashaw, who lifts the hands of impotent despair.</p>
+<h2>PART SECOND</h2>
+<h3>MR. ROBERTS; MR. CAMPBELL</h3>
+<p><span class="smcap">In</span> Mr. Roberts&rsquo;s
+dressing-room, that gentleman is discovered tragically
+confronting Mr. Willis Campbell, with a watch uplifted in either
+hand.</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Willis</span>: &lsquo;Well?&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Roberts</span>, gasping:
+&lsquo;My&mdash;my watch!&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Willis</span>: &lsquo;Yes.&nbsp; How comes
+there to be two of it?&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Roberts</span>: &lsquo;Don&rsquo;t you
+understand?&nbsp; When I went out I&mdash;didn&rsquo;t take my
+watch&mdash;with me.&nbsp; I left it here on my
+bureau.&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Willis</span>: &lsquo;Well?&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Roberts</span>: &lsquo;Oh, merciful
+heavens! don&rsquo;t you see?&nbsp; Then I couldn&rsquo;t have
+been robbed!&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Willis</span>: &lsquo;Well, but whose
+watch did you take from the fellow that didn&rsquo;t rob you,
+then?&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Roberts</span>: &lsquo;His
+own!&rsquo;&nbsp; He abandons himself powerlessly upon a
+chair.&nbsp; &lsquo;Yes; I left my own watch here, and when that
+person brushed against me in the Common, I missed it for the
+first time.&nbsp; I supposed he had robbed me, and ran after him,
+and&mdash;&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Willis</span>: &lsquo;Robbed
+<i>him</i>!&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Roberts</span>: &lsquo;Yes.&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Willis</span>: &lsquo;Ah, ha, ha,
+ha!&nbsp; I, hi, hi, hi!&nbsp; O, ho, ho, ho!&rsquo;&nbsp; He
+yields to a series of these gusts and paroxysms, bowing up and
+down, and stamping to and fro, and finally sits down exhausted,
+and wipes the tears from his cheeks.&nbsp; &lsquo;Really, this
+thing will kill me.&nbsp; What are you going to do about it,
+Roberts?&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Roberts</span>, with profound dejection
+and abysmal solemnity: &lsquo;I don&rsquo;t know, Willis.&nbsp;
+Don&rsquo;t you see that it must have been&mdash;that I must have
+robbed&mdash;Mr. Bemis?&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Willis</span>: &lsquo;Bemis!&rsquo;&nbsp;
+After a moment for tasting the fact.&nbsp; &lsquo;Why, so it
+was!&nbsp; Oh, Lord! oh, Lord!&nbsp; And was poor old Bemis that
+burly ruffian? that bloodthirsty gang of giants?
+that&mdash;that&mdash;oh, Lord! oh, Lord!&rsquo;&nbsp; He bows
+his head upon his chair-back in complete exhaustion, demanding,
+feebly, as he gets breath for the successive questions,
+&lsquo;What are you going to d-o-o-o?&nbsp; What shall you
+s-a-a-a-y?&nbsp; How can you expla-a-ain it?&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Roberts</span>: &lsquo;I can do
+nothing.&nbsp; I can say nothing.&nbsp; I can never explain
+it.&nbsp; I must go to Mr. Bemis and make a clean breast of it;
+but think of the absurdity&mdash;the ridicule!&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Willis</span>, after a thoughtful silence:
+&lsquo;Oh, it isn&rsquo;t <i>that</i> you&rsquo;ve got to think
+of.&nbsp; You&rsquo;ve got to think of the old gentleman&rsquo;s
+sense of injury and outrage.&nbsp; Didn&rsquo;t you hear what he
+said&mdash;that he would have handed over his dearest friend, his
+own brother, to the police?&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Roberts</span>: &lsquo;But that was in the
+supposition that his dearest friend, his own brother, had
+intentionally robbed him.&nbsp; You can&rsquo;t imagine,
+Willis&mdash;&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Willis</span>: &lsquo;Oh, I can imagine a
+great many things.&nbsp; It&rsquo;s all well enough for you to
+say that the robbery was a mistake; but it was a genuine case of
+garotting as far as the assault and taking the watch go.&nbsp;
+He&rsquo;s a very pudgicky old gentleman.&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Roberts</span>: &lsquo;He is.&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Willis</span>: &lsquo;And I don&rsquo;t
+see how you&rsquo;re going to satisfy him that it was all a
+joke.&nbsp; Joke?&nbsp; It <i>wasn&rsquo;t</i> a joke!&nbsp; It
+was a real assault and a <i>bona fide</i> robbery, and Bemis can
+prove it.&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Roberts</span>: &lsquo;But he would never
+insist&mdash;&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Willis</span>: &lsquo;Oh, I don&rsquo;t
+know about that.&nbsp; He&rsquo;s pretty queer, Bemis is.&nbsp;
+You can&rsquo;t say what an old gentleman like that will or
+won&rsquo;t do.&nbsp; If he should choose to carry it into
+court&mdash;&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Roberts</span>: &lsquo;Court!&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Willis</span>: &lsquo;It might be
+embarrassing.&nbsp; And anyway, it would have a very strange look
+in the papers.&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Roberts</span>: &lsquo;The papers!&nbsp;
+Good gracious!&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Willis</span>: &lsquo;Ten years from now a
+man that heard you mentioned would forget all about the
+acquittal, and say: &ldquo;Roberts?&nbsp; Oh yes!&nbsp;
+Wasn&rsquo;t he the one they sent to the House of Correction for
+garotting an old friend of his on the Common!&rdquo;&nbsp; You
+see, it wouldn&rsquo;t do to go and make a clean breast of it to
+Bemis.&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Roberts</span>: &lsquo;I see.&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Willis</span>: &lsquo;What will you
+do?&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Roberts</span>: &lsquo;I must never say
+anything to him about it.&nbsp; Just let it go.&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Willis</span>: &lsquo;And keep his
+watch?&nbsp; I don&rsquo;t see how you could manage that.&nbsp;
+What would you do with the watch?&nbsp; You might sell it, of
+course&mdash;&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Roberts</span>: &lsquo;Oh no, I
+<i>couldn&rsquo;t</i> do that.&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Willis</span>: &lsquo;You might give it
+away to some deserving person; but if it got him into
+trouble&mdash;&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Roberts</span>: &lsquo;No, no; that
+wouldn&rsquo;t do, either.&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Willis</span>: &lsquo;And you can&rsquo;t
+have it lying around; Agnes would be sure to find it, sooner or
+later.&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Roberts</span>: &lsquo;Yes.&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Willis</span>: &lsquo;Besides,
+there&rsquo;s your conscience.&nbsp; Your conscience
+wouldn&rsquo;t <i>let</i> you keep Bemis&rsquo;s watch away from
+him.&nbsp; And if it would, what do you suppose Agnes&rsquo;s
+conscience would do when she came to find it out?&nbsp; Agnes
+hasn&rsquo;t got much of a head&mdash;the want of it seems to
+grow upon her; but she&rsquo;s got a conscience as big as the
+side of a house.&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Roberts</span>: &lsquo;Oh, I see; I
+see.&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Willis</span>, coming up and standing over
+him, with his hands in his pockets: &lsquo;I tell you what,
+Roberts, you&rsquo;re in a box.&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Roberts</span>, abjectly: &lsquo;I know
+it, Willis; I know it.&nbsp; What do you suggest?&nbsp; You
+<i>must</i> know some way out of it.&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Willis</span>: &lsquo;It isn&rsquo;t a
+simple matter like telling them to start the elevator down when
+they couldn&rsquo;t start her up.&nbsp; I&rsquo;ve got to think
+it over.&rsquo;&nbsp; He walks to and fro, Roberts&rsquo;s eyes
+helplessly following his movements.&nbsp; &lsquo;How would it do
+to&mdash;No, that wouldn&rsquo;t do, either.&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Roberts</span>: &lsquo;What
+wouldn&rsquo;t?&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Willis</span>: &lsquo;Nothing.&nbsp; I was
+just thinking&mdash;I say, you might&mdash;Or, no, you
+couldn&rsquo;t.&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Roberts</span>: &lsquo;Couldn&rsquo;t
+what?&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Willis</span>: &lsquo;Nothing.&nbsp; But
+if you were to&mdash;No; up a stump that way too.&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Roberts</span>: &lsquo;Which way?&nbsp;
+For mercy&rsquo;s sake, my dear fellow, don&rsquo;t seem to get a
+clew if you haven&rsquo;t it.&nbsp; It&rsquo;s more than I can
+bear.&rsquo;&nbsp; He rises, and desperately confronts Willis in
+his promenade.&nbsp; &lsquo;If you see any hope at
+all&mdash;&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Willis</span>, stopping: &lsquo;Why, if
+you were a different sort of fellow, Roberts, the thing would be
+perfectly easy.&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Roberts</span>: &lsquo;Very well,
+then.&nbsp; What sort of fellow do you want me to be?&nbsp;
+I&rsquo;ll be any sort of fellow you like.&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Willis</span>: &lsquo;Oh, but you
+couldn&rsquo;t!&nbsp; With that face of yours, and that
+confounded conscience of yours behind it, you would give away the
+whitest lie that was ever told.&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Roberts</span>: &lsquo;Do you wish me to
+lie?&nbsp; Very well, then, I will lie.&nbsp; What is the
+lie?&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Willis</span>: &lsquo;Ah, now you&rsquo;re
+talking like a man!&nbsp; I can soon think up a lie if
+you&rsquo;re game for it.&nbsp; Suppose it wasn&rsquo;t so very
+white&mdash;say a delicate blonde!&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Roberts</span>: &lsquo;I shouldn&rsquo;t
+care if it were as black as the ace of spades.&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Willis</span>: &lsquo;Roberts, I honour
+you!&nbsp; It isn&rsquo;t everybody who could steal an old
+gentleman&rsquo;s watch, and then be so ready to lie out of
+it.&nbsp; Well, you <i>have</i> got courage&mdash;both
+kinds&mdash;moral and physical.&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Roberts</span>: &lsquo;Thank you,
+Willis.&nbsp; Of course I don&rsquo;t pretend that I should be
+willing to lie under ordinary circumstances; but for the sake of
+Agnes and the children&mdash;I don&rsquo;t want any awkwardness
+about the matter; it would be the death of me.&nbsp; Well, what
+do you wish me to say?&nbsp; Be quick; I don&rsquo;t believe I
+could hold out for a great while.&nbsp; I don&rsquo;t suppose but
+what Mr. Bemis would be reasonable, even if I&mdash;&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Willis</span>: &lsquo;I&rsquo;m afraid we
+couldn&rsquo;t trust him.&nbsp; The only way is for you to take
+the bull by the horns.&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Roberts</span>: &lsquo;Yes?&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Willis</span>: &lsquo;You will not only
+have to lie, Roberts, but you will have to wear an air of
+innocent candour at the same time.&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Roberts</span>: &lsquo;I&mdash;I&rsquo;m
+afraid I couldn&rsquo;t manage that.&nbsp; What is your
+idea?&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Willis</span>: &lsquo;Oh, just come into
+the room with a laugh when we go back, and say, in an offhand
+way, &ldquo;By the way, Agnes, Willis and I made a remarkable
+discovery in my dressing-room; we found my watch there on the
+bureau.&nbsp; Ha, ha, ha!&rdquo;&nbsp; Do you think you could do
+it?&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Roberts</span>: &lsquo;I&mdash;I
+don&rsquo;t know.&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Willis</span>: &lsquo;Try the laugh
+now.&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Roberts</span>: &lsquo;I&rsquo;d rather
+not&mdash;now.&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Willis</span>: &lsquo;Well, try it,
+anyway.&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Roberts</span>: &lsquo;Ha, ha,
+ha!&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Willis</span>: &lsquo;Once
+more.&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Roberts</span>: &lsquo;Ha, ha,
+ha!&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Willis</span>: &lsquo;Pretty ghastly; but
+I guess you can come it.&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Roberts</span>: &lsquo;I&rsquo;ll
+try.&nbsp; And then what?&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Willis</span>: &lsquo;And then you say,
+&ldquo;I hadn&rsquo;t put it on when I went out, and when I got
+after that fellow and took it back, I was simply getting somebody
+else&rsquo;s watch!&rdquo;&nbsp; Then you hold out both watches
+to her, and laugh again.&nbsp; Everybody laughs, and crowds round
+you to examine the watches, and you make fun and crack jokes at
+your own expense all the time, and pretty soon old Bemis says,
+&ldquo;Why, this is <i>my</i> watch, <i>now</i>!&rdquo; and you
+laugh more than ever&mdash;&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Roberts</span>: &lsquo;I&rsquo;m afraid I
+couldn&rsquo;t laugh when he said that.&nbsp; I don&rsquo;t
+believe I could laugh.&nbsp; It would make my blood run
+cold.&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Willis</span>: &lsquo;Oh no, it
+wouldn&rsquo;t.&nbsp; You&rsquo;d be in the spirit of it by that
+time.&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Roberts</span>: &lsquo;Do you think
+so?&nbsp; Well?&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Willis</span>: &lsquo;And then you say,
+&ldquo;Well, this is the most remarkable coincidence I ever heard
+of.&nbsp; I didn&rsquo;t get my own watch from the fellow, but I
+got yours, Mr. Bemis;&rdquo; and then you hand it over to him and
+say, &ldquo;Sorry I had to break the chain in getting it from
+him,&rdquo; and then everybody laughs again, and&mdash;and that
+ends it.&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Roberts</span>, with a profound sigh:
+&lsquo;Do you think that would end it?&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Willis</span>: &lsquo;Why,
+certainly.&nbsp; It&rsquo;ll put old Bemis in the wrong,
+don&rsquo;t you see?&nbsp; It&rsquo;ll show that instead of
+letting the fellow escape to go and rob <i>him</i>, you attacked
+him and took Bemis&rsquo;s property back from him yourself.&nbsp;
+Bemis wouldn&rsquo;t have a word to say.&nbsp; All you&rsquo;ve
+got to do is to keep up a light, confident manner.&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Roberts</span>: &lsquo;But what if it
+shouldn&rsquo;t put Bemis in the wrong?&nbsp; What if he
+shouldn&rsquo;t say or do anything that we&rsquo;ve counted upon,
+but something altogether different?&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Willis</span>: &lsquo;Well, then, you must
+trust to inspiration, and adapt yourself to
+circumstances.&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Roberts</span>: &lsquo;Wouldn&rsquo;t it
+be rather more of a joke to come out with the facts at
+once?&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Willis</span>: &lsquo;On you it would; and
+a year from now&mdash;say next Christmas&mdash;you could get the
+laugh on Bemis that way.&nbsp; But if you were to risk it now,
+there&rsquo;s no telling how he&rsquo;d take it.&nbsp; He&rsquo;s
+so indignant he might insist upon leaving the house.&nbsp; But
+with this plan of mine&mdash;&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Roberts</span>, in despair: &lsquo;I
+couldn&rsquo;t, Willis.&nbsp; I don&rsquo;t feel light, and I
+don&rsquo;t feel confident, and I couldn&rsquo;t act it.&nbsp; If
+it were a simple lie&mdash;&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Willis</span>: &lsquo;Oh, lies are never
+simple; they require the exercise of all your ingenuity.&nbsp; If
+you want something simple, you must stick to the truth, and throw
+yourself on Bemis&rsquo;s mercy.&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Roberts</span>, walking up and down in
+great distress: &lsquo;I can&rsquo;t do it; I can&rsquo;t do
+it.&nbsp; It&rsquo;s very kind of you to think it all out for me,
+but&rsquo;&mdash;struck by a sudden idea&mdash;&lsquo;Willis, why
+shouldn&rsquo;t <i>you</i> do it?&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Willis</span>: &lsquo;I?&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Roberts</span>: &lsquo;You are good at
+those things.&nbsp; You have so much <i>aplomb</i>, you
+know.&nbsp; <i>You</i> could carry it off, you know,
+first-rate.&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Willis</span>, as if finding a certain
+fascination in the idea: &lsquo;Well, I don&rsquo;t
+know&mdash;&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Roberts</span>: &lsquo;And I could chime
+in on the laugh.&nbsp; I think I could do that if somebody else
+was doing the rest.&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Willis</span>, after a moment of silent
+reflection: &lsquo;I <i>should</i> like to do it.&nbsp; I should
+like to see how old Bemis would look when I played it on
+him.&nbsp; Roberts, I <i>will</i> do it.&nbsp; Not a word!&nbsp;
+I should <i>like</i> to do it.&nbsp; Now you go on and hurry up
+your toilet, old fellow; you needn&rsquo;t mind me here.&nbsp;
+I&rsquo;ll be rehearsing.&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Roberts</span>, knocking at the door,
+outside: &lsquo;Edward, are you <i>never</i> coming?&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Roberts</span>: &lsquo;Yes, yes;
+I&rsquo;ll be there in a minute, my dear.&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Willis</span>: &lsquo;Yes, he&rsquo;ll be
+there.&nbsp; Run along back, and keep it going till we
+come.&nbsp; Roberts, I wouldn&rsquo;t take a thousand dollars for
+this chance.&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Roberts</span>: &lsquo;I&rsquo;m glad you
+like it.&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Willis</span>: &lsquo;Like it?&nbsp; Of
+course I do.&nbsp; Or no!&nbsp; Hold on!&nbsp; Wait!&nbsp; It
+won&rsquo;t do!&nbsp; No; you must take the leading part, and
+I&rsquo;ll support you, and I&rsquo;ll come in strong if you
+break down.&nbsp; That&rsquo;s the way we have got to work
+it.&nbsp; You must make the start.&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Roberts</span>: &lsquo;Couldn&rsquo;t you
+make it better, Willis?&nbsp; It&rsquo;s your idea.&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Willis</span>: &lsquo;No; they&rsquo;d be
+sure to suspect me, and they can&rsquo;t suspect you of
+anything&mdash;you&rsquo;re so innocent.&nbsp; The illusion will
+be complete.&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Roberts</span>, very doubtfully: &lsquo;Do
+you think so?&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Willis</span>: &lsquo;Yes.&nbsp; Hurry
+up.&nbsp; Let me unbutton that collar for you.&rsquo;</p>
+<h2>PART THIRD</h2>
+<h3>I<br />
+MRS. ROBERTS, DR. LAWTON, MRS. CRASHAW, MR. BEMIS, YOUNG MR. AND
+MRS. BEMIS</h3>
+<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Roberts</span>, surrounded by her
+guests, and confronting from her sofa Mr. Bemis, who still
+remains sunken in his armchair, has apparently closed an
+exhaustive recital of the events which have ended in his presence
+there.&nbsp; She looks round with a mixed air of self-denial and
+self-satisfaction to read the admiration of her listeners in
+their sympathetic countenances.</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Dr. Lawton</span>, with an ironical sigh
+of profound impression: &lsquo;Well, Mrs. Roberts, you are
+certainly the most lavishly hospitable of hostesses.&nbsp; Every
+one knows what delightful dinners you give; but these little
+dramatic episodes which you offer your guests, by way of
+appetizer, are certainly unique.&nbsp; Last year an elevator
+stuck in the shaft with half the company in it, and this year a
+highway robbery, its daring punishment and its reckless
+repetition&mdash;what the newspapers will call &ldquo;A Triple
+Mystery&rdquo; when it gets to them&mdash;and both victims among
+our commensals!&nbsp; Really, I don&rsquo;t know what more we
+could ask of you, unless it were the foot-padded footpad himself
+as a commensal.&nbsp; If this sort of thing should become <i>de
+rigueur</i> in society generally, I don&rsquo;t know what&rsquo;s
+to become of people who haven&rsquo;t your invention.&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Roberts</span>: &lsquo;Oh, it&rsquo;s
+all very well to make fun now, Dr. Lawton; but if you had been
+here when they first came in&mdash;&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Young Mrs. Bemis</span>: &lsquo;Yes,
+indeed, I think so too, Mrs. Roberts.&nbsp; If Mr.
+Bemis&mdash;Alfred, I mean&mdash;and papa hadn&rsquo;t been with
+me when you came out there to prepare us, I don&rsquo;t know what
+I should have done.&nbsp; I should certainly have died, or gone
+through the floor.&rsquo;&nbsp; She looks fondly up into the face
+of her husband for approval, where he stands behind her chair,
+and furtively gives him her hand for pressure.&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Young Mr. Bemis</span>: &lsquo;Somebody
+ought to write to the Curwens&mdash;Mrs. Curwen, that
+is&mdash;about it.&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Bemis</span>, taking away her hand:
+&lsquo;Oh yes, papa, <i>do</i> write!&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Lawton</span>: &lsquo;I will, my
+dear.&nbsp; Even Mrs. Curwen, dazzling away in another
+sphere&mdash;hemisphere&mdash;and surrounded by cardinals and all
+the other celestial lights there at Rome, will be proud to
+exploit this new evidence of American enterprise.&nbsp; I can
+fancy the effect she will produce with it.&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Roberts</span>: &lsquo;And the
+Millers&mdash;what a shame they couldn&rsquo;t come!&nbsp; How
+excited they would have been!&mdash;that is, Mrs. Miller.&nbsp;
+Is their baby very bad, Doctor?&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Lawton</span>: &lsquo;Well, vaccination is
+always a very serious thing&mdash;with a first child.&nbsp; I
+should say, from the way Mrs. Miller feels about it, that Miller
+wouldn&rsquo;t be able to be out for a week to come
+yet.&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Roberts</span>: &lsquo;Oh, how
+ridiculous you are, Doctor!&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Bemis</span>, rising feebly from his
+chair: &lsquo;Well, now that it&rsquo;s all explained, Mrs.
+Roberts, I think I&rsquo;d better go home; and if you&rsquo;ll
+kindly have them telephone for a carriage&mdash;&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Roberts</span>: &lsquo;<i>No</i>,
+indeed, Mr. Bemis!&nbsp; We shall not let you go.&nbsp; Why, the
+<i>idea</i>!&nbsp; You must stay and take dinner with us, just
+the same.&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Bemis</span>: &lsquo;But in this
+state&mdash;&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Roberts</span>: &lsquo;Oh, never mind
+the <i>state</i>.&nbsp; You look perfectly well; and if you
+insist upon going, I shall know that you bear a grudge against
+Edward for not arresting him.&nbsp; Wait!&nbsp; We can put you in
+perfect order in just a second.&rsquo;&nbsp; She flies out of the
+room, and then comes swooping back with a needle and thread, a
+fresh white necktie, a handkerchief, and a hair-brush.&nbsp;
+&lsquo;There!&nbsp; I can&rsquo;t let you go to Edward&rsquo;s
+dressing-room, because he&rsquo;s there himself, and the children
+are in mine, and we&rsquo;ve had to put the new maid in the
+guest-chamber&mdash;you <i>are</i> rather cramped in flats,
+that&rsquo;s true; that&rsquo;s the worst of them&mdash;but if
+you don&rsquo;t mind having your toilet made in public, like the
+King of France&mdash;&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Bemis</span>, entering into the spirit of
+it: &lsquo;Not the least; but&mdash;&rsquo;&nbsp; He laughs, and
+drops back into his chair.</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Roberts</span>, distributing the
+brush to young Mr. Bemis, and the tie to his wife, and dropping
+upon her knees before Mr. Bemis: &lsquo;Now, Mrs. Lou, you just
+whip off that crumpled tie and whip on the fresh one, and,
+<i>Mister</i> Lou, you give his hair a touch, and I&rsquo;ll have
+this torn button-hole mended before you can think.&rsquo;&nbsp;
+She seizes it and begins to sew vigorously upon it.</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Crashaw</span>: &lsquo;Agnes, you are
+the most ridiculously sensible woman in the country.&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Lawton</span>, standing before the group,
+with his arms folded and his feet well apart, in an attitude of
+easy admiration: &lsquo;The Wounded Adonis, attended by the Loves
+and Graces.&nbsp; Familiar Pompeiian fresco.&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Roberts</span>, looking around at
+him: &lsquo;I don&rsquo;t see a great many Loves.&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Lawton</span>: &lsquo;She ignores us, Mrs.
+Crashaw.&nbsp; And after what you&rsquo;ve just said!&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Roberts</span>: &lsquo;Then why
+don&rsquo;t you do something?&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Lawton</span>: &lsquo;The Loves
+<i>never</i> do anything&mdash;in frescoes.&nbsp; They stand
+round and sympathise.&nbsp; Besides, we are waiting to administer
+an an&aelig;sthetic.&nbsp; But what I admire in this subject even
+more than the activity of the Graces is the serene dignity of the
+Adonis.&nbsp; I have seen my old friend in many trying positions,
+but I never realised till now all the simpering absurdity, the
+flattered silliness, the senile coquettishness, of which his
+benign countenance was capable.&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Roberts</span>: &lsquo;Don&rsquo;t
+mind him a bit, Mr. Bemis; it&rsquo;s nothing
+but&mdash;&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Lawton</span>: &lsquo;Pure envy.&nbsp; I
+own it.&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Bemis</span>: &lsquo;All right,
+Lawton.&nbsp; Wait till&mdash;&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Roberts</span>, making a final
+stitch, snapping off the thread, and springing to her feet, all
+in one: &lsquo;There, have you finished, Mr. and Mrs. Lou?&nbsp;
+Well, then, take this lace handkerchief, and draw it down from
+his neck and pin it in his waistcoat, and you
+have&mdash;&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Lawton</span>, as Mr. Bemis rises to his
+feet: &lsquo;A Gentleman of the Old School.&nbsp; Bemis, you look
+like a miniature of yourself by Malbone.&nbsp; Rather flattered,
+but&mdash;recognisable.&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Bemis</span>, with perfectly recovered
+gaiety: &lsquo;Go on, go on, Lawton.&nbsp; I can understand your
+envy.&nbsp; I can pity it.&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Lawton</span>: &lsquo;Could you forgive
+Roberts for not capturing the garotter?&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Bemis</span>: &lsquo;Yes, I could.&nbsp; I
+could give the garotter his liberty, and present him with an
+admission to the Provident Woodyard, where he could earn an
+honest living for his family.&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Lawton</span>, compassionately: &lsquo;You
+<i>are</i> pretty far gone, Bemis.&nbsp; Really, I think somebody
+ought to go for Roberts.&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Roberts</span>, innocently:
+&lsquo;Yes, indeed!&nbsp; Why, what in the world can be keeping
+him?&rsquo;&nbsp; A nursemaid enters and beckons Mrs. Roberts to
+the door with a glance.&nbsp; She runs to her; they whisper; and
+then Mrs. Roberts, over her shoulder: &lsquo;That ridiculous
+great boy of mine says he can&rsquo;t go to sleep unless I come
+and kiss him good-night.&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Lawton</span>: &lsquo;Which ridiculous
+great boy, I wonder?&mdash;Roberts, or Campbell?&nbsp; But I
+didn&rsquo;t know they had gone to bed!&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Bemis</span>: &lsquo;You are too bad,
+papa!&nbsp; You know it&rsquo;s little Neddy.&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Roberts</span>, vanishing: &lsquo;Oh,
+I don&rsquo;t mind his nonsense, Lou.&nbsp; I&rsquo;ll fetch them
+both back with me.&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Lawton</span>, after making a melodramatic
+search for concealed listeners at the doors: &lsquo;Now, friends,
+I have a revelation to make in Mrs. Roberts&rsquo;s
+absence.&nbsp; I have found out the garotter&mdash;the
+assassin.&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">All the others</span>:
+&lsquo;What!&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Lawton</span>: &lsquo;He has been
+secured&mdash;&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Crashaw</span>, severely:
+&lsquo;Well, I&rsquo;m very glad of it.&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Young Bemis</span>: &lsquo;By the
+police?&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Bemis</span>, incredulously:
+&lsquo;Papa!&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Bemis</span>: &lsquo;But there were
+several of them.&nbsp; Have they all been arrested?&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Lawton</span>: &lsquo;There was only one,
+and none of him has been arrested.&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Crashaw</span>: &lsquo;Where is he,
+then?&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Lawton</span>: &lsquo;In this
+house.&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Crashaw</span>: &lsquo;Now, Dr.
+Lawton, you and I are old friends&mdash;I shouldn&rsquo;t like to
+say <i>how</i> old&mdash;but if you don&rsquo;t instantly be
+serious, I&mdash;I&rsquo;ll carry my rheumatism to somebody
+else.&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Lawton</span>: &lsquo;My <i>dear</i> Mrs.
+Crashaw, you know how much I prize that rheumatism of
+yours!&nbsp; I will be serious&mdash;I will be only too
+serious.&nbsp; The garotter is Mr. Roberts himself.&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">All</span>, horror-struck:
+&lsquo;Oh!&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Lawton</span>: &lsquo;He went out without
+his watch.&nbsp; He thought he was robbed, but he
+wasn&rsquo;t.&nbsp; He ran after the supposed thief, our poor
+friend Bemis here, and took Bemis&rsquo;s watch away, and brought
+it home for his own.&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Young Bemis</span>: &lsquo;Yes,
+but&mdash;&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Bemis</span>: &lsquo;But,
+papa&mdash;&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Bemis</span>: &lsquo;How do you know
+it?&nbsp; I can see how such a thing might happen, but&mdash;how
+do you know it <i>did</i>?&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Lawton</span>: &lsquo;I divined
+it.&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Crashaw</span>:
+&lsquo;Nonsense!&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Lawton</span>: &lsquo;Very well, then, I
+read of just such a ease in the <i>Advertiser</i> a year
+ago.&nbsp; It occurs annually&mdash;in the newspapers.&nbsp; And
+I&rsquo;ll tell you what, Mrs. Crashaw&mdash;Roberts found out
+his mistake as soon as he went to his dressing-room; and that
+ingenious nephew of yours, who&rsquo;s closeted with him there,
+has been trying to put him up to something&mdash;to some
+game.&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Crashaw</span>: &lsquo;Willis has too
+much sense.&nbsp; He would know that Edward couldn&rsquo;t carry
+out any sort of game.&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Lawton</span>: &lsquo;Well, then,
+he&rsquo;s getting Roberts to let <i>him</i> carry out the
+game.&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Crashaw</span>: &lsquo;Edward
+couldn&rsquo;t do that either.&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Lawton</span>: &lsquo;Very well, then,
+just wait till they come back.&nbsp; Will you leave me to deal
+with Campbell?&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Crashaw</span>: &lsquo;What are you
+going to do?&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Young Bemis</span>: &lsquo;You
+mustn&rsquo;t forget that he got us out of the elevator,
+sir.&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Bemis</span>: &lsquo;We might have
+been there yet if it hadn&rsquo;t been for him, papa.&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Crashaw</span>: &lsquo;I
+shouldn&rsquo;t want Willis mortified.&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Bemis</span>: &lsquo;Nor Mr. Roberts
+annoyed.&nbsp; We&rsquo;re fellow-sufferers in this
+business.&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Lawton</span>: &lsquo;Oh, leave it to me,
+leave it to me!&nbsp; I&rsquo;ll spare their feelings.&nbsp;
+Don&rsquo;t be afraid.&nbsp; Ah, there they come!&nbsp; Now
+don&rsquo;t say anything.&nbsp; I&rsquo;ll just step into the
+anteroom here.&rsquo;</p>
+<h3>II<br />
+MR. ROBERTS, MR. CAMPBELL, AND THE OTHERS</h3>
+<p><span class="smcap">Roberts</span>, entering the room before
+Campbell, and shaking hands with his guests: &lsquo;Ah, Mr.
+Bemis; Mrs. Bemis; Aunt Mary!&nbsp; You&rsquo;ve heard of our
+comical little coincidence&mdash;our&mdash;Mr. Bemis and
+my&mdash;&rsquo;&nbsp; He halts, confused, and looks around for
+the moral support of Willis, who follows hilariously.</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Willis</span>: &lsquo;Greatest joke on
+record!&nbsp; But I won&rsquo;t spoil it for you, Roberts.&nbsp;
+Go on!&rsquo;&nbsp; In a low voice to Roberts: &lsquo;And
+don&rsquo;t look so confoundedly down in the mouth.&nbsp; They
+won&rsquo;t think it&rsquo;s a joke at all.&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Roberts</span>, with galvanic lightness:
+&lsquo;Yes, yes&mdash;such a joke!&nbsp; Well, you see&mdash;you
+see&mdash;&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Crashaw</span>: &lsquo;See
+<i>what</i>, Edward?&nbsp; <i>Do</i> get it out!&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Willis</span>, jollily: &lsquo;Ah, ha,
+ha!&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Roberts</span>, lugubriously: &lsquo;Ah,
+ha, ha!&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Bemis</span>: &lsquo;How funny!&nbsp;
+Ha, ha, ha!&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Young Mr. Bemis</span>: &lsquo;Capital!
+capital!&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Bemis</span>: &lsquo;Excellent!&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Willis</span>: &lsquo;Go on, Roberts, do!
+or I shall die!&nbsp; Ah, ha, ha!&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Roberts</span>, in a low voice of
+consternation to Willis: &lsquo;Where was I?&nbsp; I can&rsquo;t
+go on unless I know where I was.&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Willis</span>, <i>sotto voce</i> to
+Roberts: &lsquo;You weren&rsquo;t anywhere!&nbsp; For
+Heaven&rsquo;s sake, make a start!&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Roberts</span>, to the others,
+convulsively: &lsquo;Ha, ha, ha!&nbsp; I supposed all the time,
+you know, that I had been robbed, and&mdash;and&mdash;&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Willis</span>: &lsquo;Go on! <i>go</i>
+on!&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Roberts</span>, whispering: &lsquo;I
+can&rsquo;t do it&mdash;&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Willis</span>, whispering:
+&lsquo;You&rsquo;ve <i>got</i> to!&nbsp; You&rsquo;re the beaver
+that clomb the tree.&nbsp; Laugh naturally, now!&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Roberts</span>, with a staccato groan,
+which he tries to make pass for a laugh: &lsquo;And then I ran
+after the man&mdash;&rsquo; He stops, and regards Mr. Bemis with
+a ghastly stare.</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Crashaw</span>: &lsquo;What is the
+matter with you, Edward?&nbsp; Are you sick?&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Willis</span>: &lsquo;Sick?&nbsp;
+No!&nbsp; Can&rsquo;t you see that he can&rsquo;t get over the
+joke of the thing?&nbsp; It&rsquo;s killing him.&rsquo;&nbsp; To
+Roberts: &lsquo;Brace up, old man!&nbsp; You&rsquo;re doing it
+splendidly.&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Roberts</span>, hopelessly: &lsquo;And
+then the other man&mdash;the man that had robbed me&mdash;the man
+that I had pursued&mdash;ugh!&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Willis</span>: &lsquo;Well, it is too much
+for him.&nbsp; I shall have to tell it myself, I see.&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Roberts</span>, making a wild effort to
+command himself: &lsquo;And so&mdash;so&mdash;this
+man&mdash;man&mdash;ma&mdash;&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Willis</span>: &lsquo;Oh, good
+Lord&mdash;&rsquo;&nbsp; Dr. Lawton suddenly appears from the
+anteroom and confronts him.&nbsp; &lsquo;Oh, the
+devil!&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Lawton</span>, folding his arms, and
+fixing his eyes upon him: &lsquo;Which means that you forgot I
+was coming.&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Willis</span>: &lsquo;Doctor, you read a
+man&rsquo;s symptoms at a glance.&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Lawton</span>: &lsquo;Yes; and I can see
+that you are in a bad way, Mr. Campbell.&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Willis</span>: &lsquo;Why don&rsquo;t you
+advertise, Doctor?&nbsp; Patients need only enclose a lock of
+their hair, and the colour of their eyes, with one dollar to pay
+the cost of materials, which will be sent, with full directions
+for treatment, by return mail.&nbsp; Seventh son of a seventh
+son.&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Lawton</span>: &lsquo;Ah, don&rsquo;t try
+to jest it away, my poor friend.&nbsp; This is one of those
+obscure diseases of the heart&mdash;induration of the
+pericardium&mdash;which, if not taken in time, result in
+deceitfulness above all things, and desperate
+wickedness.&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Willis</span>: &lsquo;Look here, Dr.
+Lawton, what are you up to?&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Lawton</span>: &lsquo;Look here, Mr.
+Campbell, what is your little game?&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Willis</span>: &lsquo;<i>I</i> don&rsquo;t
+know what you&rsquo;re up to.&rsquo;&nbsp; He shrugs his
+shoulders and walks up the room.</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Lawton</span>, shrugging his shoulders and
+walking up the room abreast of Campbell: &lsquo;<i>I</i>
+don&rsquo;t know what your little game is.&rsquo;&nbsp; They
+return together, and stop, confronting each other.</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Willis</span>: &lsquo;But if you think
+I&rsquo;m going to give myself away&mdash;&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Lawton</span>: &lsquo;If you suppose
+I&rsquo;m going to take you at your own
+figure&mdash;&rsquo;&nbsp; They walk up the room together, and
+return as before.</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Willis</span>: &lsquo;Mrs. Bemis, what is
+this unnatural parent of yours after?&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Bemis</span>, tittering: &lsquo;Oh,
+I&rsquo;m sure <i>I</i> can&rsquo;t tell.&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Willis</span>: &lsquo;Aunt Mary, you used
+to be a friend of mine.&nbsp; Can&rsquo;t you give me some sort
+of clue?&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Crashaw</span>: &lsquo;I should be
+ashamed of you, Willis, if you accepted anybody&rsquo;s
+help.&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Willis</span>, sighing: &lsquo;Well, this
+is pretty hard on an orphan.&nbsp; Here I come to join a company
+of friends at the fireside of a burgled brother-in-law, and I
+find myself in a nest of conspirators.&rsquo;&nbsp; Suddenly,
+after a moment: &lsquo;Oh, I understand.&nbsp; Why, I ought to
+have seen at once.&nbsp; But no matter&mdash;it&rsquo;s just as
+well.&nbsp; I&rsquo;m sure that we shall hear Dr. Lawton
+leniently, and make allowance for his well-known foible.&nbsp;
+Roberts is bound by the laws of hospitality, and Mr. Bemis is the
+father-in-law of his daughter.&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Bemis</span>, in serious dismay:
+&lsquo;Why, Mr. Campbell, what do you mean?&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Willis</span>: &lsquo;Simply that the
+mystery is solved&mdash;the double garotter is discovered.&nbsp;
+I&rsquo;m sorry for you, Mrs. Bemis; and no one will wish to deal
+harshly with your father when he confesses that it was he who
+robbed Mr. Roberts and Mr. Bemis.&nbsp; All that they ask is to
+have their watches back.&nbsp; Go on, Doctor!&nbsp; How will that
+do, Aunt Mary, for a little flyer?&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Crashaw</span>: &lsquo;Willis, I
+declare I never saw anybody like you!&rsquo;&nbsp; She embraces
+him with joyous pride.</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Roberts</span>, coming forward anxiously:
+&lsquo;But, my dear Willis&mdash;&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Willis</span>, clapping his hand over his
+mouth, and leading him back to his place: &lsquo;We can&rsquo;t
+let you talk now.&nbsp; I&rsquo;ve no doubt you&rsquo;ll be
+considerate, and all that, but Dr. Lawton has the floor.&nbsp; Go
+on, Doctor!&nbsp; Free your mind!&nbsp; Don&rsquo;t be afraid of
+telling the whole truth!&nbsp; It will be better for you in the
+end.&rsquo;&nbsp; He rubs his hands gleefully, and then thrusting
+the points of them into his waistcoat pockets, stands beaming
+triumphantly upon Lawton.</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Lawton</span>: &lsquo;Do you think
+so?&rsquo;&nbsp; With well-affected trepidation &lsquo;Well,
+friends, if I must confess this&mdash;this&mdash;&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Willis</span>: &lsquo;High-handed
+outrage.&nbsp; Go on.&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Lawton</span>: &lsquo;I suppose I
+must.&nbsp; I shall not expect mercy for myself; perhaps
+you&rsquo;ll say that, as an old and hardened offender, I
+don&rsquo;t deserve it.&nbsp; But I had an accomplice&mdash;a
+young man very respectably connected, and who, whatever his
+previous life may have been, had managed to keep a good
+reputation; a young man a little apt to be misled by overweening
+vanity and the ill-advised flattery of his friends; but I hope
+that neither of you gentlemen will be hard upon him, but will
+consider his youth, and perhaps his congenital moral and
+intellectual deficiencies, even when you find your
+watches&mdash;on Mr. Campbell&rsquo;s person.&rsquo;&nbsp; He
+leans forward, rubbing his hands, and smiling upon Campbell,
+&lsquo;How will that do, Mr. Campbell, for a flyer?&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Willis</span>, turning to Mrs. Crashaw:
+&lsquo;One ahead, Aunt Mary?&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Lawton</span>, clasping him by the hand:
+&lsquo;No, generous youth&mdash;even!&rsquo;&nbsp; They shake
+hands, clapping each other on the back with their lefts, and
+joining in the general laugh.</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Bemis</span>, coming forward jovially:
+&lsquo;Well, now, I gladly forgive you both&mdash;or whoever
+<i>did</i> rob me&mdash;if you&rsquo;ll only give me back my
+watch.&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Willis</span>: &lsquo;<i>I</i>
+haven&rsquo;t got your watch.&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Lawton</span>: &lsquo;Nor I.&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Roberts</span>, rather faintly, and coming
+reluctantly forward: &lsquo;I&mdash;I have it, Mr.
+Bemis.&rsquo;&nbsp; He produces it from one waistcoat pocket and
+hands it to Bemis.&nbsp; Then, visiting the other: &lsquo;And
+what&rsquo;s worse, I have my own.&nbsp; I don&rsquo;t know how I
+can ever explain it, or atone to you for my extraordinary
+behaviour.&nbsp; Willis thought you might finally see it as a
+joke, and I&rsquo;ve done my best to pass it off
+lightly&mdash;&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Willis</span>: &lsquo;And you
+succeeded.&nbsp; You had all the lightness of a sick
+hippopotamus.&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Roberts</span>: &lsquo;I&rsquo;m afraid
+so.&nbsp; I&rsquo;ll have the chain mended, of course.&nbsp; But
+when I went out this evening I left my watch on my
+dressing-table, and when you struck against me in the Common I
+missed it, and supposed I had been robbed, and I ran after you
+and took yours&mdash;&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Willis</span>: &lsquo;Being a man of the
+most violent temper and the most desperate
+courage&mdash;&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Roberts</span>: &lsquo;But I hope, my dear
+sir, that I didn&rsquo;t hurt you seriously?&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Bemis</span>: &lsquo;Not at all&mdash;not
+the least.&rsquo;&nbsp; Shaking him cordially by both hands:
+&lsquo;I&rsquo;m all right.&nbsp; Mrs. Roberts has healed all my
+wounds with her skilful needle; I&rsquo;ve got on one of your
+best neckties, and this lace handkerchief of your wife&rsquo;s,
+which I&rsquo;m going to keep for a souvenir of the most
+extraordinary adventure of my life&mdash;&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Lawton</span>: &lsquo;Oh, it&rsquo;s an
+old newspaper story, Bemis, I tell you.&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Willis</span>: &lsquo;Well, Aunt Mary, I
+wish Agnes were here now to see Roberts in his character of
+<i>moral</i> hero.&nbsp; He &lsquo;done&rsquo; it with his little
+hatchet, but he waited to make sure that Bushrod was all right
+before he owned up.&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Roberts</span>, appearing:
+&lsquo;Who, Willis?&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Willis</span>: &lsquo;A very great and
+good man&mdash;George Washington.&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Roberts</span>: &lsquo;I thought you
+meant Edward.&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Willis</span>: &lsquo;Well, I don&rsquo;t
+suppose there <i>is</i> much difference.&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Crashaw</span>: &lsquo;The robber has
+been caught, Agnes.&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Roberts</span>: &lsquo;Caught?&nbsp;
+Nonsense!&nbsp; You don&rsquo;t mean it!&nbsp; How can you trifle
+with such a subject?&nbsp; I know you are joking!&nbsp; Who is
+it?&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Young Bemis</span>: &lsquo;You never could
+guess&mdash;&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Bemis</span>: &lsquo;Never in the
+world!&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Roberts</span>: &lsquo;I don&rsquo;t
+wish to.&nbsp; But oh, Mr. Bemis, I&rsquo;ve just come from my
+own children, and you must be merciful to his family!&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Bemis</span>: &lsquo;For your sake, dear
+lady, I will.&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Bella</span>, between the
+<i>porti&egrave;res</i>: &lsquo;Dinner is ready, Mrs.
+Roberts.&rsquo;</p>
+<p><span class="smcap">Mrs. Roberts</span>, passing her hand
+through Mr. Bemis&rsquo;s arm: &lsquo;Oh, then you must go in
+with me, and tell me all about it.&rsquo;</p>
+<p>***END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE GAROTTERS***</p>
+<pre>
+
+
+***** This file should be named 3237-h.htm or 3237-h.zip******
+
+
+This and all associated files of various formats will be found in:
+http://www.gutenberg.org/dirs/3/2/2/3237
+
+
+Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions will
+be renamed.
+
+Creating the works from print editions not protected by U.S. copyright
+law means that no one owns a United States copyright in these works,
+so the Foundation (and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United
+States without permission and without paying copyright
+royalties. Special rules, set forth in the General Terms of Use part
+of this license, apply to copying and distributing Project
+Gutenberg-tm electronic works to protect the PROJECT GUTENBERG-tm
+concept and trademark. Project Gutenberg is a registered trademark,
+and may not be used if you charge for the eBooks, unless you receive
+specific permission. If you do not charge anything for copies of this
+eBook, complying with the rules is very easy. You may use this eBook
+for nearly any purpose such as creation of derivative works, reports,
+performances and research. They may be modified and printed and given
+away--you may do practically ANYTHING in the United States with eBooks
+not protected by U.S. copyright law. Redistribution is subject to the
+trademark license, especially commercial redistribution.
+
+START: FULL LICENSE
+
+THE FULL PROJECT GUTENBERG LICENSE
+PLEASE READ THIS BEFORE YOU DISTRIBUTE OR USE THIS WORK
+
+To protect the Project Gutenberg-tm mission of promoting the free
+distribution of electronic works, by using or distributing this work
+(or any other work associated in any way with the phrase "Project
+Gutenberg"), you agree to comply with all the terms of the Full
+Project Gutenberg-tm License available with this file or online at
+www.gutenberg.org/license.
+
+Section 1. General Terms of Use and Redistributing Project
+Gutenberg-tm electronic works
+
+1.A. By reading or using any part of this Project Gutenberg-tm
+electronic work, you indicate that you have read, understand, agree to
+and accept all the terms of this license and intellectual property
+(trademark/copyright) agreement. If you do not agree to abide by all
+the terms of this agreement, you must cease using and return or
+destroy all copies of Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works in your
+possession. If you paid a fee for obtaining a copy of or access to a
+Project Gutenberg-tm electronic work and you do not agree to be bound
+by the terms of this agreement, you may obtain a refund from the
+person or entity to whom you paid the fee as set forth in paragraph
+1.E.8.
+
+1.B. "Project Gutenberg" is a registered trademark. It may only be
+used on or associated in any way with an electronic work by people who
+agree to be bound by the terms of this agreement. There are a few
+things that you can do with most Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works
+even without complying with the full terms of this agreement. See
+paragraph 1.C below. There are a lot of things you can do with Project
+Gutenberg-tm electronic works if you follow the terms of this
+agreement and help preserve free future access to Project Gutenberg-tm
+electronic works. See paragraph 1.E below.
+
+1.C. The Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation ("the
+Foundation" or PGLAF), owns a compilation copyright in the collection
+of Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works. Nearly all the individual
+works in the collection are in the public domain in the United
+States. If an individual work is unprotected by copyright law in the
+United States and you are located in the United States, we do not
+claim a right to prevent you from copying, distributing, performing,
+displaying or creating derivative works based on the work as long as
+all references to Project Gutenberg are removed. Of course, we hope
+that you will support the Project Gutenberg-tm mission of promoting
+free access to electronic works by freely sharing Project Gutenberg-tm
+works in compliance with the terms of this agreement for keeping the
+Project Gutenberg-tm name associated with the work. You can easily
+comply with the terms of this agreement by keeping this work in the
+same format with its attached full Project Gutenberg-tm License when
+you share it without charge with others.
+
+1.D. The copyright laws of the place where you are located also govern
+what you can do with this work. Copyright laws in most countries are
+in a constant state of change. If you are outside the United States,
+check the laws of your country in addition to the terms of this
+agreement before downloading, copying, displaying, performing,
+distributing or creating derivative works based on this work or any
+other Project Gutenberg-tm work. The Foundation makes no
+representations concerning the copyright status of any work in any
+country outside the United States.
+
+1.E. Unless you have removed all references to Project Gutenberg:
+
+1.E.1. The following sentence, with active links to, or other
+immediate access to, the full Project Gutenberg-tm License must appear
+prominently whenever any copy of a Project Gutenberg-tm work (any work
+on which the phrase "Project Gutenberg" appears, or with which the
+phrase "Project Gutenberg" is associated) is accessed, displayed,
+performed, viewed, copied or distributed:
+
+  This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere in the United States and
+  most other parts of the world at no cost and with almost no
+  restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it
+  under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included with this
+  eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org. If you are not located in the
+  United States, you'll have to check the laws of the country where you
+  are located before using this ebook.
+
+1.E.2. If an individual Project Gutenberg-tm electronic work is
+derived from texts not protected by U.S. copyright law (does not
+contain a notice indicating that it is posted with permission of the
+copyright holder), the work can be copied and distributed to anyone in
+the United States without paying any fees or charges. If you are
+redistributing or providing access to a work with the phrase "Project
+Gutenberg" associated with or appearing on the work, you must comply
+either with the requirements of paragraphs 1.E.1 through 1.E.7 or
+obtain permission for the use of the work and the Project Gutenberg-tm
+trademark as set forth in paragraphs 1.E.8 or 1.E.9.
+
+1.E.3. If an individual Project Gutenberg-tm electronic work is posted
+with the permission of the copyright holder, your use and distribution
+must comply with both paragraphs 1.E.1 through 1.E.7 and any
+additional terms imposed by the copyright holder. Additional terms
+will be linked to the Project Gutenberg-tm License for all works
+posted with the permission of the copyright holder found at the
+beginning of this work.
+
+1.E.4. Do not unlink or detach or remove the full Project Gutenberg-tm
+License terms from this work, or any files containing a part of this
+work or any other work associated with Project Gutenberg-tm.
+
+1.E.5. Do not copy, display, perform, distribute or redistribute this
+electronic work, or any part of this electronic work, without
+prominently displaying the sentence set forth in paragraph 1.E.1 with
+active links or immediate access to the full terms of the Project
+Gutenberg-tm License.
+
+1.E.6. You may convert to and distribute this work in any binary,
+compressed, marked up, nonproprietary or proprietary form, including
+any word processing or hypertext form. However, if you provide access
+to or distribute copies of a Project Gutenberg-tm work in a format
+other than "Plain Vanilla ASCII" or other format used in the official
+version posted on the official Project Gutenberg-tm web site
+(www.gutenberg.org), you must, at no additional cost, fee or expense
+to the user, provide a copy, a means of exporting a copy, or a means
+of obtaining a copy upon request, of the work in its original "Plain
+Vanilla ASCII" or other form. Any alternate format must include the
+full Project Gutenberg-tm License as specified in paragraph 1.E.1.
+
+1.E.7. Do not charge a fee for access to, viewing, displaying,
+performing, copying or distributing any Project Gutenberg-tm works
+unless you comply with paragraph 1.E.8 or 1.E.9.
+
+1.E.8. You may charge a reasonable fee for copies of or providing
+access to or distributing Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works
+provided that
+
+* You pay a royalty fee of 20% of the gross profits you derive from
+  the use of Project Gutenberg-tm works calculated using the method
+  you already use to calculate your applicable taxes. The fee is owed
+  to the owner of the Project Gutenberg-tm trademark, but he has
+  agreed to donate royalties under this paragraph to the Project
+  Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation. Royalty payments must be paid
+  within 60 days following each date on which you prepare (or are
+  legally required to prepare) your periodic tax returns. Royalty
+  payments should be clearly marked as such and sent to the Project
+  Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation at the address specified in
+  Section 4, "Information about donations to the Project Gutenberg
+  Literary Archive Foundation."
+
+* You provide a full refund of any money paid by a user who notifies
+  you in writing (or by e-mail) within 30 days of receipt that s/he
+  does not agree to the terms of the full Project Gutenberg-tm
+  License. You must require such a user to return or destroy all
+  copies of the works possessed in a physical medium and discontinue
+  all use of and all access to other copies of Project Gutenberg-tm
+  works.
+
+* You provide, in accordance with paragraph 1.F.3, a full refund of
+  any money paid for a work or a replacement copy, if a defect in the
+  electronic work is discovered and reported to you within 90 days of
+  receipt of the work.
+
+* You comply with all other terms of this agreement for free
+  distribution of Project Gutenberg-tm works.
+
+1.E.9. If you wish to charge a fee or distribute a Project
+Gutenberg-tm electronic work or group of works on different terms than
+are set forth in this agreement, you must obtain permission in writing
+from both the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation and The
+Project Gutenberg Trademark LLC, the owner of the Project Gutenberg-tm
+trademark. Contact the Foundation as set forth in Section 3 below.
+
+1.F.
+
+1.F.1. Project Gutenberg volunteers and employees expend considerable
+effort to identify, do copyright research on, transcribe and proofread
+works not protected by U.S. copyright law in creating the Project
+Gutenberg-tm collection. Despite these efforts, Project Gutenberg-tm
+electronic works, and the medium on which they may be stored, may
+contain "Defects," such as, but not limited to, incomplete, inaccurate
+or corrupt data, transcription errors, a copyright or other
+intellectual property infringement, a defective or damaged disk or
+other medium, a computer virus, or computer codes that damage or
+cannot be read by your equipment.
+
+1.F.2. LIMITED WARRANTY, DISCLAIMER OF DAMAGES - Except for the "Right
+of Replacement or Refund" described in paragraph 1.F.3, the Project
+Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation, the owner of the Project
+Gutenberg-tm trademark, and any other party distributing a Project
+Gutenberg-tm electronic work under this agreement, disclaim all
+liability to you for damages, costs and expenses, including legal
+fees. YOU AGREE THAT YOU HAVE NO REMEDIES FOR NEGLIGENCE, STRICT
+LIABILITY, BREACH OF WARRANTY OR BREACH OF CONTRACT EXCEPT THOSE
+PROVIDED IN PARAGRAPH 1.F.3. YOU AGREE THAT THE FOUNDATION, THE
+TRADEMARK OWNER, AND ANY DISTRIBUTOR UNDER THIS AGREEMENT WILL NOT BE
+LIABLE TO YOU FOR ACTUAL, DIRECT, INDIRECT, CONSEQUENTIAL, PUNITIVE OR
+INCIDENTAL DAMAGES EVEN IF YOU GIVE NOTICE OF THE POSSIBILITY OF SUCH
+DAMAGE.
+
+1.F.3. LIMITED RIGHT OF REPLACEMENT OR REFUND - If you discover a
+defect in this electronic work within 90 days of receiving it, you can
+receive a refund of the money (if any) you paid for it by sending a
+written explanation to the person you received the work from. If you
+received the work on a physical medium, you must return the medium
+with your written explanation. The person or entity that provided you
+with the defective work may elect to provide a replacement copy in
+lieu of a refund. If you received the work electronically, the person
+or entity providing it to you may choose to give you a second
+opportunity to receive the work electronically in lieu of a refund. If
+the second copy is also defective, you may demand a refund in writing
+without further opportunities to fix the problem.
+
+1.F.4. Except for the limited right of replacement or refund set forth
+in paragraph 1.F.3, this work is provided to you 'AS-IS', WITH NO
+OTHER WARRANTIES OF ANY KIND, EXPRESS OR IMPLIED, INCLUDING BUT NOT
+LIMITED TO WARRANTIES OF MERCHANTABILITY OR FITNESS FOR ANY PURPOSE.
+
+1.F.5. Some states do not allow disclaimers of certain implied
+warranties or the exclusion or limitation of certain types of
+damages. If any disclaimer or limitation set forth in this agreement
+violates the law of the state applicable to this agreement, the
+agreement shall be interpreted to make the maximum disclaimer or
+limitation permitted by the applicable state law. The invalidity or
+unenforceability of any provision of this agreement shall not void the
+remaining provisions.
+
+1.F.6. INDEMNITY - You agree to indemnify and hold the Foundation, the
+trademark owner, any agent or employee of the Foundation, anyone
+providing copies of Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works in
+accordance with this agreement, and any volunteers associated with the
+production, promotion and distribution of Project Gutenberg-tm
+electronic works, harmless from all liability, costs and expenses,
+including legal fees, that arise directly or indirectly from any of
+the following which you do or cause to occur: (a) distribution of this
+or any Project Gutenberg-tm work, (b) alteration, modification, or
+additions or deletions to any Project Gutenberg-tm work, and (c) any
+Defect you cause.
+
+Section 2. Information about the Mission of Project Gutenberg-tm
+
+Project Gutenberg-tm is synonymous with the free distribution of
+electronic works in formats readable by the widest variety of
+computers including obsolete, old, middle-aged and new computers. It
+exists because of the efforts of hundreds of volunteers and donations
+from people in all walks of life.
+
+Volunteers and financial support to provide volunteers with the
+assistance they need are critical to reaching Project Gutenberg-tm's
+goals and ensuring that the Project Gutenberg-tm collection will
+remain freely available for generations to come. In 2001, the Project
+Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation was created to provide a secure
+and permanent future for Project Gutenberg-tm and future
+generations. To learn more about the Project Gutenberg Literary
+Archive Foundation and how your efforts and donations can help, see
+Sections 3 and 4 and the Foundation information page at
+www.gutenberg.org Section 3. Information about the Project Gutenberg
+Literary Archive Foundation
+
+The Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation is a non profit
+501(c)(3) educational corporation organized under the laws of the
+state of Mississippi and granted tax exempt status by the Internal
+Revenue Service. The Foundation's EIN or federal tax identification
+number is 64-6221541. Contributions to the Project Gutenberg Literary
+Archive Foundation are tax deductible to the full extent permitted by
+U.S. federal laws and your state's laws.
+
+The Foundation's principal office is in Fairbanks, Alaska, with the
+mailing address: PO Box 750175, Fairbanks, AK 99775, but its
+volunteers and employees are scattered throughout numerous
+locations. Its business office is located at 809 North 1500 West, Salt
+Lake City, UT 84116, (801) 596-1887. Email contact links and up to
+date contact information can be found at the Foundation's web site and
+official page at www.gutenberg.org/contact
+
+For additional contact information:
+
+    Dr. Gregory B. Newby
+    Chief Executive and Director
+    gbnewby@pglaf.org
+
+Section 4. Information about Donations to the Project Gutenberg
+Literary Archive Foundation
+
+Project Gutenberg-tm depends upon and cannot survive without wide
+spread public support and donations to carry out its mission of
+increasing the number of public domain and licensed works that can be
+freely distributed in machine readable form accessible by the widest
+array of equipment including outdated equipment. Many small donations
+($1 to $5,000) are particularly important to maintaining tax exempt
+status with the IRS.
+
+The Foundation is committed to complying with the laws regulating
+charities and charitable donations in all 50 states of the United
+States. Compliance requirements are not uniform and it takes a
+considerable effort, much paperwork and many fees to meet and keep up
+with these requirements. We do not solicit donations in locations
+where we have not received written confirmation of compliance. To SEND
+DONATIONS or determine the status of compliance for any particular
+state visit www.gutenberg.org/donate
+
+While we cannot and do not solicit contributions from states where we
+have not met the solicitation requirements, we know of no prohibition
+against accepting unsolicited donations from donors in such states who
+approach us with offers to donate.
+
+International donations are gratefully accepted, but we cannot make
+any statements concerning tax treatment of donations received from
+outside the United States. U.S. laws alone swamp our small staff.
+
+Please check the Project Gutenberg Web pages for current donation
+methods and addresses. Donations are accepted in a number of other
+ways including checks, online payments and credit card donations. To
+donate, please visit: www.gutenberg.org/donate
+
+Section 5. General Information About Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works.
+
+Professor Michael S. Hart was the originator of the Project
+Gutenberg-tm concept of a library of electronic works that could be
+freely shared with anyone. For forty years, he produced and
+distributed Project Gutenberg-tm eBooks with only a loose network of
+volunteer support.
+
+Project Gutenberg-tm eBooks are often created from several printed
+editions, all of which are confirmed as not protected by copyright in
+the U.S. unless a copyright notice is included. Thus, we do not
+necessarily keep eBooks in compliance with any particular paper
+edition.
+
+Most people start at our Web site which has the main PG search
+facility: www.gutenberg.org
+
+This Web site includes information about Project Gutenberg-tm,
+including how to make donations to the Project Gutenberg Literary
+Archive Foundation, how to help produce our new eBooks, and how to
+subscribe to our email newsletter to hear about new eBooks.
+
+</pre></body>
+</html>
diff --git a/3237-h/images/coverb.jpg b/3237-h/images/coverb.jpg
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..d1bdf30
--- /dev/null
+++ b/3237-h/images/coverb.jpg
diff --git a/3237-h/images/covers.jpg b/3237-h/images/covers.jpg
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..25be574
--- /dev/null
+++ b/3237-h/images/covers.jpg
diff --git a/3237-h/images/tpb.jpg b/3237-h/images/tpb.jpg
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..56312ef
--- /dev/null
+++ b/3237-h/images/tpb.jpg
diff --git a/3237-h/images/tps.jpg b/3237-h/images/tps.jpg
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..b8c642b
--- /dev/null
+++ b/3237-h/images/tps.jpg
diff --git a/LICENSE.txt b/LICENSE.txt
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..6312041
--- /dev/null
+++ b/LICENSE.txt
@@ -0,0 +1,11 @@
+This eBook, including all associated images, markup, improvements,
+metadata, and any other content or labor, has been confirmed to be
+in the PUBLIC DOMAIN IN THE UNITED STATES.
+
+Procedures for determining public domain status are described in
+the "Copyright How-To" at https://www.gutenberg.org.
+
+No investigation has been made concerning possible copyrights in
+jurisdictions other than the United States. Anyone seeking to utilize
+this eBook outside of the United States should confirm copyright
+status under the laws that apply to them.
diff --git a/README.md b/README.md
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..e9d3283
--- /dev/null
+++ b/README.md
@@ -0,0 +1,2 @@
+Project Gutenberg (https://www.gutenberg.org) public repository for
+eBook #3237 (https://www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/3237)
diff --git a/old/gartt10.txt b/old/gartt10.txt
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..bf6412f
--- /dev/null
+++ b/old/gartt10.txt
@@ -0,0 +1,1814 @@
+Project Gutenberg Etext of The Garotters, by William D. Howells
+#7 in our series by William D. Howells
+
+Copyright laws are changing all over the world, be sure to check
+the laws for your country before redistributing these files!!!
+
+Please take a look at the important information in this header.
+We encourage you to keep this file on your own disk, keeping an
+electronic path open for the next readers.
+
+Please do not remove this.
+
+This should be the first thing seen when anyone opens the book.
+Do not change or edit it without written permission.  The words
+are carefully chosen to provide users with the information they
+need about what they can legally do with the texts.
+
+
+**Welcome To The World of Free Plain Vanilla Electronic Texts**
+
+**Etexts Readable By Both Humans and By Computers, Since 1971**
+
+*These Etexts Prepared By Hundreds of Volunteers and Donations*
+
+Information on contacting Project Gutenberg to get Etexts, and
+further information is included below.  We need your donations.
+The Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation is a 501(c)(3)
+organization with EIN [Employee Identification Number] 64-6221541
+
+As of 12/12/00 contributions are only being solicited from people in:
+Colorado, Connecticut, Idaho, Indiana, Iowa,
+Kentucky, Louisiana, Massachusetts, Montana,
+Nevada, Oklahoma, South Carolina, South Dakota,
+Texas, Vermont, and Wyoming.
+
+International donations are accepted,
+but we don't know ANYTHING about how
+to make them tax-deductible, or
+even if they CAN be made deductible,
+and don't have the staff to handle it
+even if there are ways.
+
+As the requirements for other states are met,
+additions to this list will be made and fund raising
+will begin in the additional states.  Please feel
+free to ask to check the status of your state.
+
+International donations are accepted,
+but we don't know ANYTHING about how
+to make them tax-deductible, or
+even if they CAN be made deductible,
+and don't have the staff to handle it
+even if there are ways.
+
+These donations should be made to:
+
+Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation
+PMB 113
+1739 University Ave.
+Oxford, MS 38655-4109
+
+
+Title: The Garotters
+
+Author: William D. Howells
+
+Release Date: May, 2002  [Etext #3237]
+[Yes, we are about one year ahead of schedule]
+[The actual date this file first posted = 02/05/01]
+
+Edition: 10
+
+Language: English
+
+Project Gutenberg Etext of The Garotters, by William D. Howells
+*****This file should be named gartt10.txt or gartt10.zip*****
+
+Corrected EDITIONS of our etexts get a new NUMBER, gartt11.txt
+VERSIONS based on separate sources get new LETTER, gartt10a.txt
+
+This etext was produced from the 1897 David Douglas edition by David
+Price, email ccx074@coventry.ac.uk
+
+Project Gutenberg Etexts are usually created from multiple editions,
+all of which are in the Public Domain in the United States, unless a
+copyright notice is included.  Therefore, we usually do NOT keep any
+of these books in compliance with any particular paper edition.
+
+We are now trying to release all our books one year in advance
+of the official release dates, leaving time for better editing.
+Please be encouraged to send us error messages even years after
+the official publication date.
+
+Please note:  neither this list nor its contents are final till
+midnight of the last day of the month of any such announcement.
+The official release date of all Project Gutenberg Etexts is at
+Midnight, Central Time, of the last day of the stated month.  A
+preliminary version may often be posted for suggestion, comment
+and editing by those who wish to do so.
+
+Most people start at our sites at:
+http://gutenberg.net
+http://promo.net/pg
+
+
+Those of you who want to download any Etext before announcement
+can surf to them as follows, and just download by date; this is
+also a good way to get them instantly upon announcement, as the
+indexes our cataloguers produce obviously take a while after an
+announcement goes out in the Project Gutenberg Newsletter.
+
+http://www.ibiblio.org/gutenberg/etext02
+or
+ftp://ftp.ibiblio.org/pub/docs/books/gutenberg/etext02
+
+Or /etext01, 00, 99, 98, 97, 96, 95, 94, 93, 92, 92, 91 or 90
+
+Just search by the first five letters of the filename you want,
+as it appears in our Newsletters.
+
+
+Information about Project Gutenberg (one page)
+
+We produce about two million dollars for each hour we work.  The
+time it takes us, a rather conservative estimate, is fifty hours
+to get any etext selected, entered, proofread, edited, copyright
+searched and analyzed, the copyright letters written, etc.  This
+projected audience is one hundred million readers.  If our value
+per text is nominally estimated at one dollar then we produce $2
+million dollars per hour this year as we release fifty new Etext
+files per month, or 500 more Etexts in 2000 for a total of 3000+
+If they reach just 1-2% of the world's population then the total
+should reach over 300 billion Etexts given away by year's end.
+
+The Goal of Project Gutenberg is to Give Away One Trillion Etext
+Files by December 31, 2001.  [10,000 x 100,000,000 = 1 Trillion]
+This is ten thousand titles each to one hundred million readers,
+which is only about 4% of the present number of computer users.
+
+At our revised rates of production, we will reach only one-third
+of that goal by the end of 2001, or about 3,333 Etexts unless we
+manage to get some real funding.
+
+The Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation has been created
+to secure a future for Project Gutenberg into the next millennium.
+
+We need your donations more than ever!
+
+Presently, contributions are only being solicited from people in:
+Colorado, Connecticut, Idaho, Indiana, Iowa,
+Kentucky, Louisiana, Massachusetts, Nevada,
+Montana, Nevada, Oklahoma, South Carolina,
+South Dakota, Texas, Vermont, and Wyoming.
+
+As the requirements for other states are met,
+additions to this list will be made and fund raising
+will begin in the additional states.
+
+These donations should be made to:
+
+Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation
+PMB 113
+1739 University Ave.
+Oxford, MS 38655-4109
+
+
+Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation,
+EIN [Employee Identification Number] 64-6221541,
+has been approved as a 501(c)(3) organization by the US Internal
+Revenue Service (IRS).  Donations are tax-deductible to the extent
+permitted by law.  As the requirements for other states are met,
+additions to this list will be made and fund raising will begin in the
+additional states.
+
+All donations should be made to the Project Gutenberg Literary
+Archive Foundation.  Mail to:
+
+Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation
+PMB 113
+1739 University Avenue
+Oxford, MS 38655-4109  [USA]
+
+
+We need your donations more than ever!
+
+You can get up to date donation information at:
+
+http://www.gutenberg.net/donation.html
+
+
+***
+
+If you can't reach Project Gutenberg,
+you can always email directly to:
+
+Michael S. Hart <hart@pobox.com>
+
+hart@pobox.com forwards to hart@prairienet.org and archive.org
+if your mail bounces from archive.org, I will still see it, if
+it bounces from prairienet.org, better resend later on. . . .
+
+Prof. Hart will answer or forward your message.
+
+We would prefer to send you information by email.
+
+
+***
+
+
+Example command-line FTP session:
+
+ftp ftp.ibiblio.org
+login: anonymous
+password: your@login
+cd pub/docs/books/gutenberg
+cd etext90 through etext99 or etext00 through etext02, etc.
+dir [to see files]
+get or mget [to get files. . .set bin for zip files]
+GET GUTINDEX.??  [to get a year's listing of books, e.g., GUTINDEX.99]
+GET GUTINDEX.ALL [to get a listing of ALL books]
+
+
+**The Legal Small Print**
+
+
+(Three Pages)
+
+***START**THE SMALL PRINT!**FOR PUBLIC DOMAIN ETEXTS**START***
+Why is this "Small Print!" statement here?  You know: lawyers.
+They tell us you might sue us if there is something wrong with
+your copy of this etext, even if you got it for free from
+someone other than us, and even if what's wrong is not our
+fault.  So, among other things, this "Small Print!" statement
+disclaims most of our liability to you.  It also tells you how
+you may distribute copies of this etext if you want to.
+
+*BEFORE!* YOU USE OR READ THIS ETEXT
+By using or reading any part of this PROJECT GUTENBERG-tm
+etext, you indicate that you understand, agree to and accept
+this "Small Print!" statement.  If you do not, you can receive
+a refund of the money (if any) you paid for this etext by
+sending a request within 30 days of receiving it to the person
+you got it from.  If you received this etext on a physical
+medium (such as a disk), you must return it with your request.
+
+ABOUT PROJECT GUTENBERG-TM ETEXTS
+This PROJECT GUTENBERG-tm etext, like most PROJECT GUTENBERG-tm etexts,
+is a "public domain" work distributed by Professor Michael S. Hart
+through the Project Gutenberg Association (the "Project").
+Among other things, this means that no one owns a United States copyright
+on or for this work, so the Project (and you!) can copy and
+distribute it in the United States without permission and
+without paying copyright royalties.  Special rules, set forth
+below, apply if you wish to copy and distribute this etext
+under the "PROJECT GUTENBERG" trademark.
+
+Please do not use the "PROJECT GUTENBERG" trademark to market
+any commercial products without permission.
+
+To create these etexts, the Project expends considerable
+efforts to identify, transcribe and proofread public domain
+works.  Despite these efforts, the Project's etexts and any
+medium they may be on may contain "Defects".  Among other
+things, Defects may take the form of incomplete, inaccurate or
+corrupt data, transcription errors, a copyright or other
+intellectual property infringement, a defective or damaged
+disk or other etext medium, a computer virus, or computer
+codes that damage or cannot be read by your equipment.
+
+LIMITED WARRANTY; DISCLAIMER OF DAMAGES
+But for the "Right of Replacement or Refund" described below,
+[1] Michael Hart and the Foundation (and any other party you may
+receive this etext from as a PROJECT GUTENBERG-tm etext) disclaims
+all liability to you for damages, costs and expenses, including
+legal fees, and [2] YOU HAVE NO REMEDIES FOR NEGLIGENCE OR
+UNDER STRICT LIABILITY, OR FOR BREACH OF WARRANTY OR CONTRACT,
+INCLUDING BUT NOT LIMITED TO INDIRECT, CONSEQUENTIAL, PUNITIVE
+OR INCIDENTAL DAMAGES, EVEN IF YOU GIVE NOTICE OF THE
+POSSIBILITY OF SUCH DAMAGES.
+
+If you discover a Defect in this etext within 90 days of
+receiving it, you can receive a refund of the money (if any)
+you paid for it by sending an explanatory note within that
+time to the person you received it from.  If you received it
+on a physical medium, you must return it with your note, and
+such person may choose to alternatively give you a replacement
+copy.  If you received it electronically, such person may
+choose to alternatively give you a second opportunity to
+receive it electronically.
+
+THIS ETEXT IS OTHERWISE PROVIDED TO YOU "AS-IS".  NO OTHER
+WARRANTIES OF ANY KIND, EXPRESS OR IMPLIED, ARE MADE TO YOU AS
+TO THE ETEXT OR ANY MEDIUM IT MAY BE ON, INCLUDING BUT NOT
+LIMITED TO WARRANTIES OF MERCHANTABILITY OR FITNESS FOR A
+PARTICULAR PURPOSE.
+
+Some states do not allow disclaimers of implied warranties or
+the exclusion or limitation of consequential damages, so the
+above disclaimers and exclusions may not apply to you, and you
+may have other legal rights.
+
+INDEMNITY
+You will indemnify and hold Michael Hart, the Foundation,
+and its trustees and agents, and any volunteers associated
+with the production and distribution of Project Gutenberg-tm
+texts harmless, from all liability, cost and expense, including
+legal fees, that arise directly or indirectly from any of the
+following that you do or cause:  [1] distribution of this etext,
+[2] alteration, modification, or addition to the etext,
+or [3] any Defect.
+
+DISTRIBUTION UNDER "PROJECT GUTENBERG-tm"
+You may distribute copies of this etext electronically, or by
+disk, book or any other medium if you either delete this
+"Small Print!" and all other references to Project Gutenberg,
+or:
+
+[1]  Only give exact copies of it.  Among other things, this
+     requires that you do not remove, alter or modify the
+     etext or this "small print!" statement.  You may however,
+     if you wish, distribute this etext in machine readable
+     binary, compressed, mark-up, or proprietary form,
+     including any form resulting from conversion by word
+     processing or hypertext software, but only so long as
+     *EITHER*:
+
+     [*]  The etext, when displayed, is clearly readable, and
+          does *not* contain characters other than those
+          intended by the author of the work, although tilde
+          (~), asterisk (*) and underline (_) characters may
+          be used to convey punctuation intended by the
+          author, and additional characters may be used to
+          indicate hypertext links; OR
+
+     [*]  The etext may be readily converted by the reader at
+          no expense into plain ASCII, EBCDIC or equivalent
+          form by the program that displays the etext (as is
+          the case, for instance, with most word processors);
+          OR
+
+     [*]  You provide, or agree to also provide on request at
+          no additional cost, fee or expense, a copy of the
+          etext in its original plain ASCII form (or in EBCDIC
+          or other equivalent proprietary form).
+
+[2]  Honor the etext refund and replacement provisions of this
+     "Small Print!" statement.
+
+[3]  Pay a trademark license fee to the Foundation of 20% of the
+     gross profits you derive calculated using the method you
+     already use to calculate your applicable taxes.  If you
+     don't derive profits, no royalty is due.  Royalties are
+     payable to "Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation"
+     the 60 days following each date you prepare (or were
+     legally required to prepare) your annual (or equivalent
+     periodic) tax return.  Please contact us beforehand to
+     let us know your plans and to work out the details.
+
+WHAT IF YOU *WANT* TO SEND MONEY EVEN IF YOU DON'T HAVE TO?
+Project Gutenberg is dedicated to increasing the number of
+public domain and licensed works that can be freely distributed
+in machine readable form.
+
+The Project gratefully accepts contributions of money, time,
+public domain materials, or royalty free copyright licenses.
+Money should be paid to the:
+"Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation."
+
+If you are interested in contributing scanning equipment or
+software or other items, please contact Michael Hart at:
+hart@pobox.com
+
+*END THE SMALL PRINT! FOR PUBLIC DOMAIN ETEXTS*Ver.12.12.00*END*
+
+
+
+
+
+This etext was produced from the 1897 David Douglas edition by David
+Price, email ccx074@coventry.ac.uk
+
+
+
+
+
+THE GAROTTERS
+
+by William D. Howells
+
+
+
+
+PART FIRST
+
+
+
+
+SCENE I:  MRS. ROBERTS; THEN MR. ROBERTS
+
+
+
+At the window of her apartment in Hotel Bellingham, Mrs. Roberts
+stands looking out into the early nightfall.  A heavy snow is
+driving without, and from time to time the rush of the wind and the
+sweep of the flakes against the panes are heard.  At the sound of
+hurried steps in the anteroom, Mrs. Roberts turns from the window,
+and runs to the portiere, through which she puts her head.
+
+MRS. ROBERTS:  'Is that you, Edward?  So dark here!  We ought really
+to keep the gas turned up all the time.'
+
+MR. ROBERTS, in a muffled voice, from without:  'Yes, it's I.'
+
+MRS. ROBERTS:  'Well, hurry in to the fire, do!  Ugh, what a storm!
+Do you suppose anybody will come?  You must be half frozen, you poor
+thing!  Come quick, or you'll certainly perish!'  She flies from the
+portiere to the fire burning on the hearth, pokes it, flings on a
+log, jumps back, brushes from her dress with a light shriek the
+sparks driven out upon it, and continues talking incessantly in a
+voice lifted for her husband to hear in the anteroom.  'If I'd
+dreamed it was any such storm as this, I should never have let you
+go out in it in the world.  It wasn't at all necessary to have the
+flowers.  I could have got on perfectly well, and I believe NOW the
+table would look better without them.  The chrysanthemums would have
+been quite enough; and I know you've taken more cold.  I could tell
+it by your voice as soon as you spoke; and just as quick as they're
+gone to-night I'm going to have you bathe your feet in mustard and
+hot water, and take eight of aconite, and go straight to bed.  And I
+don't want you to eat very much at dinner, dear, and you must be
+sure not to drink any coffee, or the aconite won't be of the least
+use.'  She turns and encounters her husband, who enters through the
+portiere, his face pale, his eyes wild, his white necktie pulled out
+of knot, and his shirt front rumpled.  'Why, Edward, what in the
+world is the matter?  What has happened?'
+
+ROBERTS, sinking into a chair:  'Get me a glass of water, Agnes--
+wine--whisky--brandy--'
+
+MRS. ROBERTS, bustling wildly about:  'Yes, yes.  But what--Bella!
+Bridget!  Maggy!--Oh, I'll go for it myself, and I WON'T stop to
+listen!  Only--only don't die!'  While Roberts remains with his eyes
+shut, and his head sunk on his breast in token of extreme
+exhaustion, she disappears and reappears through the door leading to
+her chamber, and then through the portiere cutting off the dining-
+room.  She finally descends upon her husband with a flagon of
+cologne in one hand, a small decanter of brandy in the other, and a
+wineglass held in the hollow of her arm against her breast.  She
+contrives to set the glass down on the mantel and fill it from the
+flagon, then she turns with the decanter in her hand, and while she
+presses the glass to her husband's lips, begins to pour the brandy
+on his head.  'Here! this will revive you, and it'll refresh you to
+have this cologne on your head.'
+
+ROBERTS, rejecting a mouthful of the cologne with a furious sputter,
+and springing to his feet:  'Why, you've given me the cologne to
+DRINK, Agnes!  What are you about?  Do you want to poison me?  Isn't
+it enough to be robbed at six o'clock on the Common, without having
+your head soaked in brandy, and your whole system scented up like a
+barber's shop, when you get home?'
+
+MRS. ROBERTS:  'Robbed?'  She drops the wineglass, puts the decanter
+down on the hearth, and carefully bestowing the flagon of cologne in
+the wood-box, abandons herself to justice:  'Then let them come for
+me at once, Edward!  If I could have the heart to send you out in
+such a night as this for a few wretched rosebuds, I'm quite equal to
+poisoning you.  Oh, Edward, WHO robbed you?'
+
+ROBERTS:  'That's what I don't know.'  He continues to wipe his head
+with his handkerchief, and to sputter a little from time to time.
+'All I know is that when I got--phew!--to that dark spot by the Frog
+Pond, just by--phew!--that little group of--phew!--evergreens, you
+know--phew!--'
+
+MRS. ROBERTS:  'Yes, yes; go on!  I can bear it, Edward.'
+
+ROBERTS:  '--a man brushed heavily against me, and then hurried on
+in the other direction.  I had unbuttoned my coat to look at my
+watch under the lamp-post, and after he struck against me I clapped
+my hand to my waistcoat, and--phew!--'
+
+MRS. ROBERTS:  'Waistcoat!  Yes!'
+
+ROBERTS:  '--found my watch gone.'
+
+MRS. ROBERTS:  'What!  Your watch?  The watch Willis gave you?  Made
+out of the gold that he mined himself when he first went out to
+California?  Don't ask me to believe it, Edward!  But I'm only too
+glad that you escaped with your life.  Let them have the watch and
+welcome.  Oh, nay dear, dear husband!'  She approaches him with
+extended arms, and then suddenly arrests herself.  'But you've got
+it on!'
+
+ROBERTS, with as much returning dignity as can comport with his
+dishevelled appearance:  'Yes; I took it from him.'  At his wife's
+speechless astonishment:  'I went after him and took it from him.'
+He sits down, and continues with resolute calm, while his wife
+remains standing before him motionless:  'Agnes, I don't know how I
+came to do it.  I wouldn't have believed I could do it.  I've never
+thought that I had much courage--physical courage; but when I felt
+my watch was gone, a sort of frenzy came over me.  I wasn't hurt;
+and for the first time in my life I realised what an abominable
+outrage theft was.  The thought that at six o'clock in the evening,
+in the very heart of a great city like Boston, an inoffensive
+citizen could be assaulted and robbed, made me furious.  I didn't
+call out.  I simply buttoned my coat tight round me and turned and
+ran after the fellow.'
+
+MRS. ROBERTS:  'Edward!'
+
+ROBERTS:  'Yes, I did.  He hadn't got half-a-dozen rods away--it all
+took place in a flash--and I could easily run him down.  He was
+considerably larger than I--'
+
+MRS. ROBERTS:  'Oh!'
+
+ROBERTS:  '--and he looked young and very athletic; but these things
+didn't seem to make any impression on me.'
+
+MRS. ROBERTS:  'Oh, I wonder that you live to tell the tale,
+Edward!'
+
+ROBERTS:  'Well, I wonder a little at myself.  I don't set up for a
+great deal of--'
+
+MRS. ROBERTS:  'But I always knew you had it!  Go on.  Oh, when I
+tell Willis of this!  Had the robber any accomplices?  Were there
+many of them?'
+
+ROBERTS:  'I only saw one.  And I saw that my only chance was to
+take him at a disadvantage.  I sprang upon him, and pulled him over
+on his back.  I merely said, "I'll trouble you for that watch of
+mine, if you please," jerked open his coat, snatched the watch from
+his pocket--I broke the chain, I see--and then left him and ran
+again.  He didn't make the slightest resistance nor utter a word.
+Of course it wouldn't do for him to make any noise about it, and I
+dare say he was glad to get off so easily.'  With affected
+nonchalance:  'I'm pretty badly rumpled, I see.  He fell against me,
+and a scuffle like that doesn't improve one's appearance.'
+
+MRS. ROBERTS, very solemnly:  'Edward!  I don't know what to say!
+Of course it makes my blood run cold to realise what you have been
+through, and to think what might have happened; but I think you
+behaved splendidly.  Why, I never heard of such perfect heroism!
+You needn't tell ME that he made no resistance.  There was a deadly
+struggle--your necktie and everything about you shows it.  And you
+needn't think there was only one of them--'
+
+ROBERTS, modestly:  'I don't believe there was more.'
+
+MRS. ROBERTS:  'Nonsense!  There are ALWAYS two!  I've read the
+accounts of those garottings.  And to think you not only got out of
+their clutches alive, but got your property back--Willis's watch!
+Oh, what WILL Willis say?  But I know how proud of you he'll be.
+Oh, I wish I could scream it from the house-tops.  Why didn't you
+call the police?'
+
+ROBERTS:  'I didn't think--I hadn't time to think.'
+
+MRS. ROBERTS:  'No matter.  I'm glad you have ALL the glory of it.
+I don't believe you half realise what you've been through now.  And
+perhaps this was the robbers' first attempt, and it will be a lesson
+to them.  Oh yes!  I'm glad you let them escape, Edward.  They may
+have families.  If every one behaved as you've done, there would
+soon be an end of garotting.  But, oh!  I can't bear to think of the
+danger you've run.  And I want you to promise me never, never to
+undertake such a thing again!'
+
+ROBERTS:  'Well, I don't know--'
+
+MRS. ROBERTS:  'Yes, yes; you must!  Suppose you had got killed in
+that awful struggle with those reckless wretches tugging to get away
+from you!  Think of the children!  Why, you might have burst a
+blood-vessel!  Will you promise, Edward?  Promise this instant, on
+your bended knees, just as if you were in a court of justice!'  Mrs.
+Roberts's excitement mounts, and she flings herself at her husband's
+feet, and pulls his face down to hers with the arm she has thrown
+about his neck.  'Will you promise?'
+
+
+
+SCENE II:  MRS. CRASHAW; MR. AND MRS. ROBERTS
+
+
+
+MRS. CRASHAW, entering unobserved:  'Promise you what, Agnes?  The
+man doesn't smoke NOW.  What more can you ask?'  She starts back
+from the spectacle of Roberts's disordered dress.  'Why, what's
+happened to you, Edward?'
+
+MRS. ROBERTS, springing to her feet:  'Oh, you may well ask that,
+Aunt Mary!  Happened?  You ought to fall down and worship him!  And
+you WILL when you know what he's been through.  He's been robbed!'
+
+MRS. CRASHAW:  'Robbed?  What nonsense!  Who robbed him?  WHERE was
+he robbed?'
+
+MRS. ROBERTS:  'He was attacked by two garotters--'
+
+ROBERTS:  'No, no--'
+
+MRS. ROBERTS:  'Don't speak, Edward!  I KNOW there were two.  On the
+Common.  Not half an hour ago.  As he was going to get me some
+rosebuds.  In the midst of this terrible storm.'
+
+MRS. CRASHAW:  'Is this true, Edward?'
+
+MRS. ROBERTS:  'Don't answer, Edward!  One of the band threw his arm
+round Edward's neck--so.'  She illustrates by garotting Mrs.
+Crashaw, who disengages herself with difficulty.
+
+MRS. CRASHAW:  'Mercy, child!  What ARE you doing to my lace?'
+
+MRS. ROBERTS:  'And the other one snatched his watch, and ran as
+fast as he could.'
+
+MRS. CRASHAW:  'Willis's watch?  Why, he's got it on.'
+
+MRS. ROBERTS, with proud delight:  'Exactly what I said when he told
+me.'  Then, very solemnly:  'And do you know WHY he's got it on?--
+'Sh, Edward!  I WILL tell!  Because he ran after them and took it
+back again.'
+
+MRS. CRASHAW:  'Why, they might have killed him!'
+
+MRS. ROBERTS:  'Of COURSE they might.  But EDWARD didn't care.  The
+idea of being robbed at six o'clock on the Common made him so
+furious that he scorned to cry out for help, or call the police, or
+anything; but he just ran after them--'
+
+ROBERTS:  'Agnes!  Agnes!  There was only ONE.'
+
+MRS. ROBERTS:  'Nonsense, Edward!  How could you tell, so excited as
+you were?--And caught hold of the largest of the wretches--a perfect
+young giant--'
+
+ROBERTS:  'No, no; not a GIANT, my dear.'
+
+MRS. ROBERTS:  'Well, he was YOUNG, anyway!--And flung him on the
+ground.'  She advances upon Mrs. Crashaw in her enthusiasm.
+
+MRS. CRASHAW:  'Don't you fling ME on the ground, Agnes!  I won't
+have it.'
+
+MRS. ROBERTS:  'And tore his coat open, while all the rest were
+tugging at him, and snatched his watch, and then--and then just
+walked coolly away.'
+
+ROBERTS:  'No, my dear; I ran as fast as I could.'
+
+MRS. ROBERTS:  'Well, RAN.  It's quite the same thing, and I'm just
+as proud of you as if you had walked.  Of course you were not going
+to throw your life away.'
+
+MRS. CRASHAW:  'I think he did a very silly thing in going after
+them at all.'
+
+ROBERTS:  'Why, of course, if I'd thought twice about it, I
+shouldn't have done it.'
+
+MRS. ROBERTS:  'Of course you wouldn't, dear!  And that's what I
+want him to promise, Aunt Mary:  never to do it again, no matter HOW
+much he's provoked.  I want him to promise it right here in your
+presence, Aunt Mary!'
+
+MRS. CRASHAW:  'I think it's much more important he should put on
+another collar and--shirt, if he's going to see company.'
+
+MRS. ROBERTS:  'Yes; go right off at once, Edward.  How you DO think
+of things, Aunt Mary!  I really suppose I should have gone on all
+night and never noticed his looks.  Run, Edward, and do it, dear.
+But--kiss me first!  Oh, it DON'T seem as if you could be alive and
+well after it all!  Are you sure you're not hurt?'
+
+ROBERTS, embracing her:  'No; I'm all right.'
+
+MRS. ROBERTS:  'And you're not injured internally?  Sometimes
+they're injured internally--aren't they, Aunt Mary?--and it doesn't
+show till months afterwards.  Are you sure?'
+
+ROBERTS, making a cursory examination of his ribs with his hands:
+'Yes, I think so.'
+
+MRS. ROBERTS:  'And you don't feel any bad effects from the cologne
+NOW?  Just think, Aunt Mary, I gave him cologne to drink, and poured
+the brandy on his head, when he came in!  But I was determined to
+keep calm, whatever I did.  And if I've poisoned him I'm quite
+willing to die for it--oh, quite!  I would gladly take the blame of
+it before the whole world.'
+
+MRS. CRASHAW:  'Well, for pity's sake, let the man go and make
+himself decent.  There's your bell now.'
+
+MRS. ROBERTS:  'Yes, do go, Edward.  But--kiss me--'
+
+MRS. CRASHAW:  'He DID kiss you, Agnes.  Don't be a simpleton!'
+
+MRS. ROBERTS:  'Did he?  Well, kiss me again, then, Edward.  And now
+do go, dear.  M-m-m-m.'  The inarticulate endearments represented by
+these signs terminate in a wild embrace, protracted halfway across
+the room, in the height of which Mr. Willis Campbell enters.
+
+
+
+SCENE III:  MR. CAMPBELL, MRS. CRASHAW, MR. AND MRS. ROBERTS
+
+
+
+WILLIS, pausing in contemplation:  'Hello!  What's the matter?
+What's she trying to get out of you, Roberts?  Don't you do it,
+anyway, old fellow.'
+
+MRS. ROBERTS, in an ecstasy of satisfaction:  'Willis!  Oh, you've
+come in time to see him just as he is.  Look at him, Willis!'  In
+the excess of her emotion she twitches her husband about, and with
+his arm fast in her clutch, presents him in the disadvantageous
+effect of having just been taken into custody.  Under these
+circumstances Roberts's attempt at an expression of diffident
+heroism fails; he looks sneaking, he looks guilty, and his eyes fall
+under the astonished regard of his brother-in-law.
+
+WILLIS:  'What's the matter with him?  What's he been doing?'
+
+MRS. ROBERTS:  ''Sh, Edward!  What's he been doing?  What does he
+look as if he had been doing?'
+
+MRS. CRASHAW:  'Agnes--'
+
+WILLIS:  'He looks as if he had been signing the pledge.  And he--
+smells like it.'
+
+MRS. ROBERTS:  'For shame, Willis!  I should think you'd sink
+through the floor.  Edward, not a word!  I AM ashamed of him, if he
+IS my brother.'
+
+WILLIS:  'Why, what in the world's up, Agnes?'
+
+MRS. ROBERTS:  'Up?  He's been ROBBED!--robbed on the Common, not
+five minutes ago!  A whole gang of garotters surrounded him under
+the Old Elm--or just where it used to be--and took his watch away!
+And he ran after them, and knocked the largest of the gang down, and
+took it back again.  He wasn't hurt, but we're afraid he's been
+injured internally; he may be bleeding internally NOW--Oh, do you
+think he is, Willis?  Don't you think we ought to send for a
+physician?--That, and the cologne I gave him to drink.  It's the
+brandy I poured on his head makes him smell so.  And he all so
+exhausted he couldn't speak, and I didn't know what I was doing,
+either; but he's promised--oh yes, he's promised!--never, never to
+do it again.'  She again flings her arms about her husband, and then
+turns proudly to her brother.
+
+WILLIS:  'Do you know what it means, Aunt Mary?'
+
+MRS. CRASHAW:  'Not in the least!  But I've no doubt that Edward can
+explain, after he's changed his linen--'
+
+MRS. ROBERTS:  'Oh yes, do go, Edward!  Not but what I should be
+proud and happy to have you appear just as you are before the whole
+world, if it was only to put Willis down with his jokes about your
+absent-mindedness, and his boasts about those California desperadoes
+of his.'
+
+ROBERTS:  'Come, come, Agnes!  I MUST protest against your--'
+
+MRS. ROBERTS:  'Oh, I know it doesn't become me to praise your
+courage, darling!  But I should like to know what Willis would have
+done, with all his California experience, if a garotter had taken
+his watch?'
+
+WILLIS:  'I should have let him keep it, and pay five dollars a
+quarter himself for getting it cleaned and spoiled.  Anybody but a
+literary man would.  How many of them were there, Roberts?'
+
+ROBERTS:  'I only saw one.'
+
+MRS. ROBERTS:  'But of course there were more.  How could he tell,
+in the dark and excitement?  And the one he did see was a perfect
+giant; so you can imagine what the rest must have been like.'
+
+WILLIS:  'Did you really knock him down?'
+
+MRS. ROBERTS:  'Knock him down?  Of course he did.'
+
+MRS. CRASHAW:  'Agnes, WILL you hold your tongue, and let the men
+alone?'
+
+MRS. ROBERTS, whimpering:  'I can't, Aunt Mary.  And you couldn't,
+if it was yours.'
+
+ROBERTS:  'I pulled him over backwards.'
+
+MRS. ROBERTS:  'There, Willis!'
+
+WILLIS:  'And grabbed your watch from him?'
+
+ROBERTS:  'I was in quite a frenzy; I really hardly knew what I was
+doing--'
+
+MRS. ROBERTS:  'And he didn't call for the police, or anything--'
+
+WILLIS:  'Ah, that showed presence of mind!  He knew it wouldn't
+have been any use.'
+
+MRS. ROBERTS:  'And when he had got his watch away from them, he
+just let them go, because they had families dependent on them.'
+
+WILLIS:  'I should have let them go in the first place, but you
+behaved handsomely in the end, Roberts; there's no denying that.
+And when you came in she gave you cologne to drink, and poured
+brandy on your head.  It must have revived you.  I should think it
+would wake the dead.'
+
+MRS. ROBERTS:  'I was all excitement, Willis--'
+
+WILLIS:  'No, I should think from the fact that you had set the
+decanter here on the hearth, and put your cologne into the wood-box,
+you were perfectly calm, Agnes.'  He takes them up and hands them to
+her.  'Quite as calm as usual.'  The door-bell rings.
+
+MRS. CRASHAW:  'Willis, WILL you let that ridiculous man go away and
+make himself presentable before people begin to come?'  The bell
+rings violently, peal upon peal.
+
+MRS. ROBERTS:  'Oh, my goodness, what's that?  It's the garotters--I
+know it is; and we shall all be murdered in our beds!'
+
+MRS. CRASHAW:  'What in the world can it--'
+
+WILLIS:  'Why don't your girl answer the bell, Agnes?  Or I'll go
+myself.'  The bell rings violently again.
+
+MRS. ROBERTS:  'NO, Willis, you sha'n't!  Don't leave me, Edward!
+Aunt Mary!--Oh, if we MUST die, let us all die together!  Oh, my
+poor children!  Ugh!  What's that?'  The servant-maid opens the
+outer door, and uttering a shriek, rushes in through the drawing-
+room portiere.
+
+BELLA THE MAID:  'Oh, my goodness!  Mrs. Roberts, it's Mr. Bemis!'
+
+MRS. ROBERTS:  'Which Mr. Bemis?'
+
+ROBERTS:  'What's the matter with him?'
+
+MRS. CRASHAW:  'Why doesn't she show him in?'
+
+WILLIS:  'Has HE been garotting somebody too?'
+
+
+
+SCENE IV:  MR. BEMIS, MR. CAMPBELL, MR. AND MRS. ROBERTS
+
+
+
+BEMIS, appearing through the portiere:  'I--I beg your pardon, Mrs.
+Roberts.  I oughtn't to present myself in this state--I-- But I
+thought I'd better stop on my way home and report, so that my son
+needn't be alarmed at my absence when he comes.  I--'  He stops,
+exhausted, and regards the others with a wild stare, while they
+stand taking note of his disordered coat, his torn vest, and his
+tumbled hat.  'I've just been robbed--'
+
+MRS. ROBERTS:  'Robbed?  Why, EDWARD has been robbed too.'
+
+BEMIS:  '--coming through the Common--'
+
+MRS. ROBERTS:  'Yes, EDWARD was coming through the Common.'
+
+BEMIS:  '--of my watch--'
+
+MRS. ROBERTS, in rapturous admiration of the coincidence:  'Oh, and
+it was Edward's WATCH they took!'
+
+WILLIS:  'It's a parallel case, Agnes.  Pour him out a glass of
+cologne to drink, and rub his head with brandy.  And you might let
+him sit down and rest while you're enjoying the excitement.'
+
+MRS. ROBERTS, in hospitable remorse:  'Oh, what am I thinking of!
+Here, Edward--or no, you're too weak, you mustn't.  Willis, YOU help
+me to help him to the sofa.'
+
+MRS. CRASHAW:  'I think you'd better help him off with his overcoat
+and his arctics.'  To the maid:  'Here, Bella, if you haven't quite
+taken leave of your wits, undo his shoes.'
+
+ROBERTS:  'I'LL help him off with his coat--'
+
+BEMIS:  'Careful! careful!  I may be injured internally.'
+
+MRS. ROBERTS:  'Oh, if you only WERE, Mr. Bemis, perhaps I could
+persuade Edward that he was too:  I KNOW he is.  Edward, don't exert
+yourself!  Aunt Mary, will you STOP him, or do you all wish to see
+me go distracted here before your eyes?'
+
+WILLIS, examining the overcoat which Roberts has removed:  'Well,
+you won't have much trouble buttoning and unbuttoning this coat for
+the present.'
+
+BEMIS:  'They tore it open, and tore my watch from my vest pocket--'
+
+WILLIS, looking at the vest:  'I see.  Pretty lively work.  Were
+there many of them?'
+
+BEMIS:  'There must have been two at least--'
+
+MRS. ROBERTS:  'There were half a dozen in the gang that attacked
+Edward.'
+
+BEMIS:  'One of them pulled me violently over on my back--'
+
+MRS. ROBERTS:  'Edward's put HIS arm round his neck and choked him.'
+
+MRS. CRASHAW:  'Agnes!'
+
+MRS. ROBERTS:  'I KNOW he did, Aunt Mary.'
+
+BEMIS:  'And the other tore my watch out of my pocket.'
+
+MRS. ROBERTS:  'EDWARD'S--'
+
+MRS. CRASHAW:  'Agnes, I'm thoroughly ashamed of you.  WILL you stop
+interrupting?'
+
+BEMIS:  'And left me lying in the snow.'
+
+MRS. ROBERTS:  'And then he ran after them, and snatched his watch
+away again in spite of them all; and he didn't call for the police,
+or anything, because it was their first offence, and he couldn't
+bear to think of their suffering families.'
+
+BEMIS, with a stare of profound astonishment:  'Who?'
+
+MRS. ROBERTS:  'Edward.  Didn't I SAY Edward, all the time?'
+
+BEMIS:  'I thought you meant me.  I didn't think of pursuing them;
+but you may be very sure that if there had been a policeman within
+call--of course there wasn't one within cannon-shot--I should have
+handed the scoundrels over without the slightest remorse.'
+
+ROBERTS:  'Oh!'  He sinks into a chair with a slight groan.
+
+WILLIS:  'What is it?'
+
+ROBERTS:  ''Sh!  Don't say anything.  But--stay here.  I want to
+speak with you, Willis.'
+
+BEMIS, with mounting wrath:  'I should not have hesitated an instant
+to give the rascal in charge, no matter who was dependent upon him--
+no matter if he were my dearest friend, my own brother.'
+
+ROBERTS, under his breath:  'Gracious powers!'
+
+BEMIS:  'And while I am very sorry to disagree with Mr. Roberts, I
+can't help feeling that he made a great mistake in allowing the
+ruffians to escape.'
+
+MRS. CRASHAW, with severity:  'I think you are quite right, Mr.
+Bemis.'
+
+BEMIS:  'Probably it was the same gang attacked us both.  After
+escaping from Mr. Roberts they fell upon me.'
+
+MRS. CRASHAW:  'I haven't a doubt of it.'
+
+ROBERTS, sotto voce to his brother-in-law:  'I think I'll ask you to
+go with me to my room, Willis.  Don't alarm Agnes, please.  I--I
+feel quite faint.'
+
+MRS. ROBERTS, crestfallen:  'I can't feel that Edward was to blame.
+Ed--Oh, I suppose he's gone off to make himself presentable.  But
+Willis--Where's Willis, Aunt Mary?'
+
+MRS. CRASHAW:  'Probably gone with him to help him.'
+
+MRS. ROBERTS:  'Oh, he SAW how unstrung poor Edward was!  Mr. Bemis,
+I think you're quite prejudiced.  How could Edward help their
+escaping?  I think it was quite enough for him, single-handed, to
+get his watch back.'  A ring at the door, and then a number of
+voices in the anteroom.  'I do believe they're all there!  I'll just
+run out and prepare your son.  He would be dreadfully shocked if he
+came right in upon you.'  She runs into the anteroom, and is heard
+without:  'Oh, Dr. Lawton!  Oh, Lou dear!  OH, Mr. Bemis!  How can I
+ever tell you?  Your poor father!  No, no, I CAN'T tell you!  You
+mustn't ask me!  It's too hideous!  And you wouldn't believe me if I
+did.'
+
+Chorus of anguished voices:  'What? what? what?'
+
+MRS. ROBERTS:  'They've been robbed!  Garotted on the Common!  And,
+OH, Dr. Lawton, I'm so glad YOU'VE come!  They're both injured
+internally, but I WISH you'd look at Edward first.'
+
+BEMIS:  'Good heavens!  Is that Mrs. Roberts's idea of preparing my
+son?  And his poor young wife!'  He addresses his demand to Mrs.
+Crashaw, who lifts the hands of impotent despair.
+
+
+
+
+PART SECOND
+
+
+
+
+SCENE I:  MR. ROBERTS; MR. CAMPBELL
+
+
+
+In Mr Roberts's dressing-room, that gentleman is discovered
+tragically confronting Mr. Willis Campbell, with a watch uplifted in
+either hand.
+
+WILLIS:  'Well?'
+
+ROBERTS, gasping:  'My--my watch!'
+
+WILLIS:  'Yes.  How comes there to be two of it?'
+
+ROBERTS:  'Don't you understand?  When I went out I--didn't take my
+watch--with me.  I left it here on my bureau.'
+
+WILLIS:  'Well?'
+
+ROBERTS:  'Oh, merciful heavens! don't you see?  Then I couldn't
+have been robbed!'
+
+WILLIS:  'Well, but whose watch did you take from the fellow that
+didn't rob you, then?'
+
+ROBERTS:  'His own!'  He abandons himself powerlessly upon a chair.
+'Yes; I left my own watch here, and when that person brushed against
+me in the Common, I missed it for the first time.  I supposed he had
+robbed me, and ran after him, and--'
+
+WILLIS:  'Robbed HIM!'
+
+ROBERTS:  'Yes.'
+
+WILLIS:  'Ah, ha, ha, ha!  I, hi, hi, hi!  O, ho, ho, ho!'  He
+yields to a series of these gusts and paroxysms, bowing up and down,
+and stamping to and fro, and finally sits down exhausted, and wipes
+the tears from his cheeks.  'Really, this thing will kill me.  What
+are you going to do about it, Roberts?'
+
+ROBERTS, with profound dejection and abysmal solemnity:  'I don't
+know, Willis.  Don't you see that it must have been--that I must
+have robbed--Mr. Bemis?'
+
+WILLIS:  'Bemis!'  After a moment for tasting the fact.  'Why, so it
+was!  Oh, Lord! oh, Lord!  And was poor old Bemis that burly
+ruffian? that bloodthirsty gang of giants? that--that--oh, Lord! oh,
+Lord!'  He bows his head upon his chair-back in complete exhaustion,
+demanding, feebly, as he gets breath for the successive questions,
+'What are you going to d-o-o-o?  What shall you s-a-a-a-y?  How can
+you expla-a-ain it?'
+
+ROBERTS:  'I can do nothing.  I can say nothing.  I can never
+explain it.  I must go to Mr. Bemis and make a clean breast of it;
+but think of the absurdity--the ridicule!'
+
+WILLIS, after a thoughtful silence:  'Oh, it isn't THAT you've got
+to think of.  You've got to think of the old gentleman's sense of
+injury and outrage.  Didn't you hear what he said--that he would
+have handed over his dearest friend, his own brother, to the
+police?'
+
+ROBERTS:  'But that was in the supposition that his dearest friend,
+his own brother, had intentionally robbed him.  You can't imagine,
+Willis--'
+
+WILLIS:  'Oh, I can imagine a great many things.  It's all well
+enough for you to say that the robbery was a mistake; but it was a
+genuine case of garotting as far as the assault and taking the watch
+go.  He's a very pudgicky old gentleman.'
+
+ROBERTS:  'He is.'
+
+WILLIS:  'And I don't see how you're going to satisfy him that it
+was all a joke.  Joke?  It WASN'T a joke!  It was a real assault and
+a bona fide robbery, and Bemis can prove it.'
+
+ROBERTS:  'But he would never insist--'
+
+WILLIS:  'Oh, I don't know about that.  He's pretty queer, Bemis is.
+You can't say what an old gentleman like that will or won't do.  If
+he should choose to carry it into court--'
+
+ROBERTS:  'Court!'
+
+WILLIS:  'It might be embarrassing.  And anyway, it would have a
+very strange look in the papers.'
+
+ROBERTS:  'The papers!  Good gracious!'
+
+WILLIS:  'Ten years from now a man that heard you mentioned would
+forget all about the acquittal, and say:  "Roberts?  Oh yes!  Wasn't
+he the one they sent to the House of Correction for garotting an old
+friend of his on the Common!"  You see, it wouldn't do to go and
+make a clean breast of it to Bemis.'
+
+ROBERTS:  'I see.'
+
+WILLIS:  'What will you do?'
+
+ROBERTS:  'I must never say anything to him about it.  Just let it
+go.'
+
+WILLIS:  'And keep his watch?  I don't see how you could manage
+that.  What would you do with the watch?  You might sell it, of
+course--'
+
+ROBERTS:  'Oh no, I COULDN'T do that.'
+
+WILLIS:  'You might give it away to some deserving person; but if it
+got him into trouble--'
+
+ROBERTS:  'No, no; that wouldn't do, either.'
+
+WILLIS:  'And you can't have it lying around; Agnes would be sure to
+find it, sooner or later.'
+
+ROBERTS:  'Yes.'
+
+WILLIS:  'Besides, there's your conscience.  Your conscience
+wouldn't LET you keep Bemis's watch away from him.  And if it would,
+what do you suppose Agnes's conscience would do when she came to
+find it out?  Agnes hasn't got much of a head--the want of it seems
+to grow upon her; but she's got a conscience as big as the side of a
+house.'
+
+ROBERTS:  'Oh, I see; I see.'
+
+WILLIS, coming up and standing over him, with his hands in his
+pockets:  'I tell you what, Roberts, you're in a box.'
+
+ROBERTS, abjectly:  'I know it, Willis; I know it.  What do you
+suggest?  You MUST know some way out of it.'
+
+WILLIS:  'It isn't a simple matter like telling them to start the
+elevator down when they couldn't start her up.  I've got to think it
+over.'  He walks to and fro, Roberts's eyes helplessly following his
+movements.  'How would it do to--No, that wouldn't do, either.'
+
+ROBERTS:  'What wouldn't?'
+
+WILLIS:  'Nothing.  I was just thinking--I say, you might--Or, no,
+you couldn't.'
+
+ROBERTS:  'Couldn't what?'
+
+WILLIS:  'Nothing.  But if you were to--No; up a stump that way
+too.'
+
+ROBERTS:  'Which way?  For mercy's sake, my dear fellow, don't seem
+to get a clew if you haven't it.  It's more than I can bear.'  He
+rises, and desperately confronts Willis in his promenade.  'If you
+see any hope at all--'
+
+WILLIS, stopping:  'Why, if you were a different sort of fellow,
+Roberts, the thing would be perfectly easy.'
+
+ROBERTS:  'Very well, then.  What sort of fellow do you want me to
+be?  I'll be any sort of fellow you like.'
+
+WILLIS:  'Oh, but you couldn't!  With that face of yours, and that
+confounded conscience of yours behind it, you would give away the
+whitest lie that was ever told.'
+
+ROBERTS:  'Do you wish me to lie?  Very well, then, I will lie.
+What is the lie?'
+
+WILLIS:  'Ah, now you're talking like a man!  I can soon think up a
+lie if you're game for it.  Suppose it wasn't so very white--say a
+delicate blonde!'
+
+ROBERTS:  'I shouldn't care if it were as black as the ace of
+spades.'
+
+WILLIS:  'Roberts, I honour you!  It isn't everybody who could steal
+an old gentleman's watch, and then be so ready to lie out of it.
+Well, you HAVE got courage--both kinds--moral and physical.'
+
+ROBERTS:  'Thank you, Willis.  Of course I don't pretend that I
+should be willing to lie under ordinary circumstances; but for the
+sake of Agnes and the children--I don't want any awkwardness about
+the matter; it would be the death of me.  Well, what do you wish me
+to say?  Be quick; I don't believe I could hold out for a great
+while.  I don't suppose but what Mr. Bemis would be reasonable, even
+if I--'
+
+WILLIS:  'I'm afraid we couldn't trust him.  The only way is for you
+to take the bull by the horns.'
+
+ROBERTS:  'Yes?'
+
+WILLIS:  'You will not only have to lie, Roberts, but you will have
+to wear an air of innocent candour at the same time.'
+
+ROBERTS:  'I--I'm afraid I couldn't manage that.  What is your
+idea?'
+
+WILLIS:  'Oh, just come into the room with a laugh when we go back,
+and say, in an offhand way, "By the way, Agnes, Willis and I made a
+remarkable discovery in my dressing-room; we found my watch there on
+the bureau.  Ha, ha, ha!"  Do you think you could do it?'
+
+ROBERTS:  'I--I don't know.'
+
+WILLIS:  'Try the laugh now.'
+
+ROBERTS:  'I'd rather not--now.'
+
+WILLIS:  'Well, try it, anyway.'
+
+ROBERTS:  'Ha, ha, ha!'
+
+WILLIS:  'Once more.'
+
+ROBERTS:  'Ha, ha, ha!'
+
+WILLIS:  'Pretty ghastly; but I guess you can come it.'
+
+ROBERTS:  'I'll try.  And then what?'
+
+WILLIS:  'And then you say, "I hadn't put it on when I went out, and
+when I got after that fellow and took it back, I was simply getting
+somebody else's watch!"  Then you hold out both watches to her, and
+laugh again.  Everybody laughs, and crowds round you to examine the
+watches, and you make fun and crack jokes at your own expense all
+the time, and pretty soon old Bemis says, "Why, this is MY watch,
+NOW!" and you laugh more than ever--'
+
+ROBERTS:  'I'm afraid I couldn't laugh when he said that.  I don't
+believe I could laugh.  It would make my blood run cold.'
+
+WILLIS:  'Oh no, it wouldn't.  You'd be in the spirit of it by that
+time.'
+
+ROBERTS:  'Do you think so?  Well?'
+
+WILLIS:  'And then you say, "Well, this is the most remarkable
+coincidence I ever heard of.  I didn't get my own watch from the
+fellow, but I got yours, Mr. Bemis;" and then you hand it over to
+him and say, "Sorry I had to break the chain in getting it from
+him," and then everybody laughs again, and--and that ends it.'
+
+ROBERTS, with a profound sigh:  'Do you think that would end it?'
+
+WILLIS:  'Why, certainly.  It'll put old Bemis in the wrong, don't
+you see?  It'll show that instead of letting the fellow escape to go
+and rob HIM, you attacked him and took Bemis's property back from
+him yourself.  Bemis wouldn't have a word to say.  All you've got to
+do is to keep up a light, confident manner.'
+
+ROBERTS:  'But what if it shouldn't put Bemis in the wrong?  What if
+he shouldn't say or do anything that we've counted upon, but
+something altogether different?'
+
+WILLIS:  'Well, then, you must trust to inspiration, and adapt
+yourself to circumstances.'
+
+ROBERTS:  'Wouldn't it be rather more of a joke to come out with the
+facts at once?'
+
+WILLIS:  'On you it would; and a year from now--say next Christmas--
+you could get the laugh on Bemis that way.  But if you were to risk
+it now, there's no telling how he'd take it.  He's so indignant he
+might insist upon leaving the house.  But with this plan of mine--'
+
+ROBERTS, in despair:  'I couldn't, Willis.  I don't feel light, and
+I don't feel confident, and I couldn't act it.  If it were a simple
+lie--'
+
+WILLIS:  'Oh, lies are never simple; they require the exercise of
+all your ingenuity.  If you want something simple, you must stick to
+the truth, and throw yourself on Bemis's mercy.'
+
+ROBERTS, walking up and down in great distress:  'I can't do it; I
+can't do it.  It's very kind of you to think it all out for me,
+but'--struck by a sudden idea--'Willis, why shouldn't YOU do it?'
+
+WILLIS:  'I?'
+
+ROBERTS:  'You are good at those things.  You have so much aplomb,
+you know.  YOU could carry it off, you know, first-rate.'
+
+WILLIS, as if finding a certain fascination in the idea:  'Well, I
+don't know--'
+
+ROBERTS:  'And I could chime in on the laugh.  I think I could do
+that if somebody else was doing the rest.'
+
+WILLIS, after a moment of silent reflection:  'I SHOULD like to do
+it.  I should like to see how old Bemis would look when I played it
+on him.  Roberts, I WILL do it.  Not a word!  I should LIKE to do
+it.  Now you go on and hurry up your toilet, old fellow; you needn't
+mind me here.  I'll be rehearsing.'
+
+MRS. ROBERTS, knocking at the door, outside:  'Edward, are you NEVER
+coming?'
+
+ROBERTS:  'Yes, yes; I'll be there in a minute, my dear.'
+
+WILLIS:  'Yes, he'll be there.  Run along back, and keep it going
+till we come.  Roberts, I wouldn't take a thousand dollars for this
+chance.'
+
+ROBERTS:  'I'm glad you like it.'
+
+WILLIS:  'Like it?  Of course I do.  Or no!  Hold on!  Wait!  It
+won't do!  No; you must take the leading part, and I'll support you,
+and I'll come in strong if you break down.  That's the way we have
+got to work it.  You must make the start.'
+
+ROBERTS:  'Couldn't you make it better, Willis?  It's your idea.'
+
+WILLIS:  'No; they'd be sure to suspect me, and they can't suspect
+you of anything--you're so innocent.  The illusion will be
+complete.'
+
+ROBERTS, very doubtfully:  'Do you think so?'
+
+WILLIS:  'Yes.  Hurry up.  Let me unbutton that collar for you.'
+
+
+
+
+PART THIRD
+
+
+
+
+SCENE I:  MRS. ROBERTS, DR. LAWTON, MRS. CRASHAW, MR. BEMIS, YOUNG
+MR. AND MRS. BEMIS
+
+
+
+MRS. ROBERTS, surrounded by her guests, and confronting from her
+sofa Mr. Bemis, who still remains sunken in his armchair, has
+apparently closed an exhaustive recital of the events which have
+ended in his presence there.  She looks round with a mixed air of
+self-denial and self-satisfaction to read the admiration of her
+listeners in their sympathetic countenances.
+
+DR. LAWTON, with an ironical sigh of profound impression:  'Well,
+Mrs. Roberts, you are certainly the most lavishly hospitable of
+hostesses.  Every one knows what delightful dinners you give; but
+these little dramatic episodes which you offer your guests, by way
+of appetizer, are certainly unique.  Last year an elevator stuck in
+the shaft with half the company in it, and this year a highway
+robbery, its daring punishment and its reckless repetition--what the
+newspapers will call "A Triple Mystery" when it gets to them--and
+both victims among our commensals!  Really, I don't know what more
+we could ask of you, unless it were the foot-padded footpad himself
+as a commensal.  If this sort of thing should become de rigueur in
+society generally, I don't know what's to become of people who
+haven't your invention.'
+
+MRS. ROBERTS:  'Oh, it's all very well to make fun now, Dr. Lawton;
+but if you had been here when they first came in--'
+
+YOUNG MRS. BEMIS:  'Yes, indeed, I think so too, Mrs. Roberts.  If
+Mr. Bemis--Alfred, I mean--and papa hadn't been with me when you
+came out there to prepare us, I don't know what I should have done.
+I should certainly have died, or gone through the floor.'  She looks
+fondly up into the face of her husband for approval, where he stands
+behind her chair, and furtively gives him her hand for pressure.'
+
+YOUNG MR. BEMIS:  'Somebody ought to write to the Curwens--Mrs.
+Curwen, that is--about it.'
+
+MRS. BEMIS, taking away her hand:  'Oh yes, papa, DO write!'
+
+LAWTON:  'I will, my dear.  Even Mrs. Curwen, dazzling away in
+another sphere--hemisphere--and surrounded by cardinals and all the
+other celestial lights there at Rome, will be proud to exploit this
+new evidence of American enterprise.  I can fancy the effect she
+will produce with it.'
+
+MRS. ROBERTS:  'And the Millers--what a shame they couldn't come!
+How excited they would have been!--that is, Mrs. Miller.  Is their
+baby very bad, Doctor?'
+
+LAWTON:  'Well, vaccination is always a very serious thing--with a
+first child.  I should say, from the way Mrs. Miller feels about it,
+that Miller wouldn't be able to be out for a week to come yet.'
+
+MRS. ROBERTS:  'Oh, how ridiculous you are, Doctor!'
+
+BEMIS, rising feebly from his chair:  'Well, now that it's all
+explained, Mrs. Roberts, I think I'd better go home; and if you'll
+kindly have them telephone for a carriage--'
+
+MRS. ROBERTS:  'NO, indeed, Mr. Bemis!  We shall not let you go.
+Why, the IDEA!  You must stay and take dinner with us, just the
+same.'
+
+BEMIS:  'But in this state--'
+
+MRS. ROBERTS:  'Oh, never mind the STATE.  You look perfectly well;
+and if you insist upon going, I shall know that you bear a grudge
+against Edward for not arresting him.  Wait!  We can put you in
+perfect order in just a second.'  She flies out of the room, and
+then comes swooping back with a needle and thread, a fresh white
+necktie, a handkerchief, and a hair-brush.  'There!  I can't let you
+go to Edward's dressing-room, because he's there himself, and the
+children are in mine, and we've had to put the new maid in the
+guest-chamber--you ARE rather cramped in flats, that's true; that's
+the worst of them--but if you don't mind having your toilet made in
+public, like the King of France--'
+
+BEMIS, entering into the spirit of it:  'Not the least; but--'  He
+laughs, and drops back into his chair.
+
+MRS. ROBERTS, distributing the brush to young Mr. Bemis, and the tie
+to his wife, and dropping upon her knees before Mr. Bemis:  'Now,
+Mrs. Lou, you just whip off that crumpled tie and whip on the fresh
+one, and, MISTER Lou, you give his hair a touch, and I'll have this
+torn button-hole mended before you can think.'  She seizes it and
+begins to sew vigorously upon it.
+
+MRS. CRASHAW:  'Agnes, you are the most ridiculously sensible woman
+in the country.'
+
+LAWTON, standing before the group, with his arms folded and his feet
+well apart, in an attitude of easy admiration:  'The Wounded Adonis,
+attended by the Loves and Graces.  Familiar Pompeiian fresco.'
+
+MRS. ROBERTS, looking around at him:  'I don't see a great many
+Loves.'
+
+LAWTON:  'She ignores us, Mrs. Crashaw.  And after what you've just
+said!'
+
+MRS. ROBERTS:  'Then why don't you do something?'
+
+LAWTON:  'The Loves NEVER do anything--in frescoes.  They stand
+round and sympathise.  Besides, we are waiting to administer an
+anaesthetic.  But what I admire in this subject even more than the
+activity of the Graces is the serene dignity of the Adonis.  I have
+seen my old friend in many trying positions, but I never realised
+till now all the simpering absurdity, the flattered silliness, the
+senile coquettishness, of which his benign countenance was capable.'
+
+MRS. ROBERTS:  'Don't mind him a bit, Mr. Bemis; it's nothing but--'
+
+LAWTON:  'Pure envy.  I own it.'
+
+BEMIS:  'All right, Lawton.  Wait till--'
+
+MRS. ROBERTS, making a final stitch, snapping off the thread, and
+springing to her feet, all in one:  'There, have you finished, Mr.
+and Mrs. Lou?  Well, then, take this lace handkerchief, and draw it
+down from his neck and pin it in his waistcoat, and you have--'
+
+LAWTON, as Mr. Bemis rises to his feet:  'A Gentleman of the Old
+School.  Bemis, you look like a miniature of yourself by Malbone.
+Rather flattered, but--recognisable.'
+
+BEMIS, with perfectly recovered gaiety:  'Go on, go on, Lawton.  I
+can understand your envy.  I can pity it.'
+
+LAWTON:  'Could you forgive Roberts for not capturing the garotter?'
+
+BEMIS:  'Yes, I could.  I could give the garotter his liberty, and
+present him with an admission to the Provident Woodyard, where he
+could earn an honest living for his family.'
+
+LAWTON, compassionately:  'You ARE pretty far gone, Bemis.  Really,
+I think somebody ought to go for Roberts.'
+
+MRS. ROBERTS, innocently:  'Yes, indeed!  Why, what in the world can
+be keeping him?'  A nursemaid enters and beckons Mrs. Roberts to the
+door with a glance.  She runs to her; they whisper; and then Mrs.
+Roberts, over her shoulder:  'That ridiculous great boy of mine says
+he can't go to sleep unless I come and kiss him good-night.'
+
+LAWTON:  'Which ridiculous great boy, I wonder?--Roberts, or
+Campbell?  But I didn't know they had gone to bed!'
+
+MRS. BEMIS:  'You are too bad, papa!  You know it's little Neddy.'
+
+MRS. ROBERTS, vanishing:  'Oh, I don't mind his nonsense, Lou.  I'll
+fetch them both back with me.'
+
+LAWTON, after making a melodramatic search for concealed listeners
+at the doors:  'Now, friends, I have a revelation to make in Mrs.
+Roberts's absence.  I have found out the garotter--the assassin.'
+
+ALL THE OTHERS:  'What!'
+
+LAWTON:  'He has been secured--'
+
+MRS. CRASHAW, severely:  'Well, I'm very glad of it.'
+
+YOUNG BEMIS:  'By the police?'
+
+MRS. BEMIS, incredulously:  'Papa!'
+
+BEMIS:  'But there were several of them.  Have they all been
+arrested?'
+
+LAWTON:  'There was only one, and none of him has been arrested.'
+
+MRS. CRASHAW:  'Where is he, then?'
+
+LAWTON:  'In this house.'
+
+MRS. CRASHAW:  'Now, Dr. Lawton, you and I are old friends--I
+shouldn't like to say HOW old--but if you don't instantly be
+serious, I--I'll carry my rheumatism to somebody else.'
+
+LAWTON:  'My DEAR Mrs. Crashaw, you know how much I prize that
+rheumatism of yours!  I will be serious--I will be only too serious.
+The garotter is Mr. Roberts himself.'
+
+ALL, horror-struck:  'Oh!'
+
+LAWTON:  'He went out without his watch.  He thought he was robbed,
+but he wasn't.  He ran after the supposed thief, our poor friend
+Bemis here, and took Bemis's watch away, and brought it home for his
+own.'
+
+YOUNG BEMIS:  'Yes, but--'
+
+MRS. BEMIS:  'But, papa--'
+
+BEMIS:  'How do you know it?  I can see how such a thing might
+happen, but--how do you know it DID?'
+
+LAWTON:  'I divined it.'
+
+MRS. CRASHAW:  'Nonsense!'
+
+LAWTON:  'Very well, then, I read of just such a ease in the
+Advertiser a year ago.  It occurs annually--in the newspapers.  And
+I'll tell you what, Mrs. Crashaw--Roberts found out his mistake as
+soon as he went to his dressing-room; and that ingenious nephew of
+yours, who's closeted with him there, has been trying to put him up
+to something--to some game.'
+
+MRS. CRASHAW:  'Willis has too much sense.  He would know that
+Edward couldn't carry out any sort of game.'
+
+LAWTON:  'Well, then, he's getting Roberts to let HIM carry out the
+game.'
+
+MRS. CRASHAW:  'Edward couldn't do that either.'
+
+LAWTON:  'Very well, then, just wait till they come back.  Will you
+leave me to deal with Campbell?'
+
+MRS. CRASHAW:  'What are you going to do?'
+
+YOUNG BEMIS:  'You mustn't forget that he got us out of the
+elevator, sir.'
+
+MRS. BEMIS:  'We might have been there yet if it hadn't been for
+him, papa.'
+
+MRS. CRASHAW:  'I shouldn't want Willis mortified.'
+
+BEMIS:  'Nor Mr. Roberts annoyed.  We're fellow-sufferers in this
+business.'
+
+LAWTON:  'Oh, leave it to me, leave it to me!  I'll spare their
+feelings.  Don't be afraid.  Ah, there they come!  Now don't say
+anything.  I'll just step into the anteroom here.'
+
+
+
+SCENE II:  MR. ROBERTS, MR. CAMPBELL, AND THE OTHERS
+
+
+
+ROBERTS, entering the room before Campbell, and shaking hands with
+his guests:  'Ah, Mr. Bemis; Mrs. Bemis; Aunt Mary!  You've heard of
+our comical little coincidence--our--Mr. Bemis and my--'  He halts,
+confused, and looks around for the moral support of Willis, who
+follows hilariously.
+
+WILLIS:  'Greatest joke on record!  But I won't spoil it for you,
+Roberts.  Go on!'  In a low voice to Roberts:  'And don't look so
+confoundedly down in the mouth.  They won't think it's a joke at
+all.'
+
+ROBERTS, with galvanic lightness:  'Yes, yes--such a joke!  Well,
+you see--you see--'
+
+MRS. CRASHAW:  'See WHAT, Edward?  DO get it out!'
+
+WILLIS, jollily:  'Ah, ha, ha!'
+
+ROBERTS, lugubriously:  'Ah, ha, ha!'
+
+MRS. BEMIS:  'How funny!  Ha, ha, ha!'
+
+YOUNG MR. BEMIS:  'Capital! capital!'
+
+BEMIS:  'Excellent!'
+
+WILLIS:  'Go on, Roberts, do! or I shall die!  Ah, ha, ha!'
+
+ROBERTS, in a low voice of consternation to Willis:  'Where was I?
+I can't go on unless I know where I was.'
+
+WILLIS, sotto voce to Roberts:  'You weren't anywhere!  For Heaven's
+sake, make a start!'
+
+ROBERTS, to the others, convulsively:  'Ha, ha, ha!  I supposed all
+the time, you know, that I had been robbed, and--and--'
+
+WILLIS:  'Go on! GO on!'
+
+ROBERTS, whispering:  'I can't do it--'
+
+WILLIS, whispering:  'You've GOT to!  You're the beaver that clomb
+the tree.  Laugh naturally, now!'
+
+ROBERTS, with a staccato groan, which he tries to make pass for a
+laugh:  'And then I ran after the man--' He stops, and regards Mr.
+Bemis with a ghastly stare.
+
+MRS. CRASHAW:  'What is the matter with you, Edward?  Are you sick?'
+
+WILLIS:  'Sick?  No!  Can't you see that he can't get over the joke
+of the thing?  It's killing him.'  To Roberts:  'Brace up, old man!
+You're doing it splendidly.'
+
+ROBERTS, hopelessly:  'And then the other man--the man that had
+robbed me--the man that I had pursued--ugh!'
+
+WILLIS:  'Well, it is too much for him.  I shall have to tell it
+myself, I see.'
+
+ROBERTS, making a wild effort to command himself:  'And so--so--this
+man--man--ma--'
+
+WILLIS:  'Oh, good Lord--'  Dr. Lawton suddenly appears from the
+anteroom and confronts him.  'Oh, the devil!'
+
+LAWTON, folding his arms, and fixing his eyes upon him:  'Which
+means that you forgot I was coming.'
+
+WILLIS:  'Doctor, you read a man's symptoms at a glance.'
+
+LAWTON:  'Yes; and I can see that you are in a bad way, Mr.
+Campbell.'
+
+WILLIS:  'Why don't you advertise, Doctor?  Patients need only
+enclose a lock of their hair, and the colour of their eyes, with one
+dollar to pay the cost of materials, which will be sent, with full
+directions for treatment, by return mail.  Seventh son of a seventh
+son.'
+
+LAWTON:  'Ah, don't try to jest it away, my poor friend.  This is
+one of those obscure diseases of the heart--induration of the
+pericardium--which, if not taken in time, result in deceitfulness
+above all things, and desperate wickedness.'
+
+WILLIS:  'Look here, Dr. Lawton, what are you up to?'
+
+LAWTON:  'Look here, Mr. Campbell, what is your little game?'
+
+WILLIS:  '_I_ don't know what you're up to.'  He shrugs his
+shoulders and walks up the room.
+
+LAWTON, shrugging his shoulders and walking up the room abreast of
+Campbell:  '_I_ don't know what your little game is.'  They return
+together, and stop, confronting each other.
+
+WILLIS:  'But if you think I'm going to give myself away--'
+
+LAWTON:  'If you suppose I'm going to take you at your own figure--'
+They walk up the room together, and return as before.
+
+WILLIS:  'Mrs. Bemis, what is this unnatural parent of yours after?'
+
+MRS. BEMIS, tittering:  'Oh, I'm sure _I_ can't tell.'
+
+WILLIS:  'Aunt Mary, you used to be a friend of mine.  Can't you
+give me some sort of clue?'
+
+MRS. CRASHAW:  'I should be ashamed of you, Willis, if you accepted
+anybody's help.'
+
+WILLIS, sighing:  'Well, this is pretty hard on an orphan.  Here I
+come to join a company of friends at the fireside of a burgled
+brother-in-law, and I find myself in a nest of conspirators.'
+Suddenly, after a moment:  'Oh, I understand.  Why, I ought to have
+seen at once.  But no matter--it's just as well.  I'm sure that we
+shall hear Dr. Lawton leniently, and make allowance for his well-
+known foible.  Roberts is bound by the laws of hospitality, and Mr.
+Bemis is the father-in-law of his daughter.'
+
+MRS. BEMIS, in serious dismay:  'Why, Mr. Campbell, what do you
+mean?'
+
+WILLIS:  'Simply that the mystery is solved--the double garotter is
+discovered.  I'm sorry for you, Mrs. Bemis; and no one will wish to
+deal harshly with your father when he confesses that it was he who
+robbed Mr. Roberts and Mr. Bemis.  All that they ask is to have
+their watches back.  Go on, Doctor!  How will that do, Aunt Mary,
+for a little flyer?'
+
+MRS. CRASHAW:  'Willis, I declare I never saw anybody like you!'
+She embraces him with joyous pride.
+
+ROBERTS, coming forward anxiously:  'But, my dear Willis--'
+
+WILLIS, clapping his hand over his mouth, and leading him back to
+his place:  'We can't let you talk now.  I've no doubt you'll be
+considerate, and all that, but Dr. Lawton has the floor.  Go on,
+Doctor!  Free your mind!  Don't be afraid of telling the whole
+truth!  It will be better for you in the end.'  He rubs his hands
+gleefully, and then thrusting the points of them into his waistcoat
+pockets, stands beaming triumphantly upon Lawton.
+
+LAWTON:  'Do you think so?'  With well-affected trepidation 'Well,
+friends, if I must confess this--this--'
+
+WILLIS:  'High-handed outrage.  Go on.'
+
+LAWTON:  'I suppose I must.  I shall not expect mercy for myself;
+perhaps you'll say that, as an old and hardened offender, I don't
+deserve it.  But I had an accomplice--a young man very respectably
+connected, and who, whatever his previous life may have been, had
+managed to keep a good reputation; a young man a little apt to be
+misled by overweening vanity and the ill-advised flattery of his
+friends; but I hope that neither of you gentlemen will be hard upon
+him, but will consider his youth, and perhaps his congenital moral
+and intellectual deficiencies, even when you find your watches--on
+Mr. Campbell's person.'  He leans forward, rubbing his hands, and
+smiling upon Campbell, 'How will that do, Mr. Campbell, for a
+flyer?'
+
+WILLIS, turning to Mrs. Crashaw:  'One ahead, Aunt Mary?'
+
+LAWTON, clasping him by the hand:  'No, generous youth--even!'  They
+shake hands, clapping each other on the back with their lefts, and
+joining in the general laugh.
+
+BEMIS, coming forward jovially:  'Well, now, I gladly forgive you
+both--or whoever DID rob me--if you'll only give me back my watch.'
+
+WILLIS:  '_I_ haven't got your watch.'
+
+LAWTON:  'Nor I.'
+
+ROBERTS, rather faintly, and coming reluctantly forward:  'I--I have
+it, Mr. Bemis.'  He produces it from one waistcoat pocket and hands
+it to Bemis.  Then, visiting the other:  'And what's worse, I have
+my own.  I don't know how I can ever explain it, or atone to you for
+my extraordinary behaviour.  Willis thought you might finally see it
+as a joke, and I've done my best to pass it off lightly--'
+
+WILLIS:  'And you succeeded.  You had all the lightness of a sick
+hippopotamus.'
+
+ROBERTS:  'I'm afraid so.  I'll have the chain mended, of course.
+But when I went out this evening I left my watch on my dressing-
+table, and when you struck against me in the Common I missed it, and
+supposed I had been robbed, and I ran after you and took yours--'
+
+WILLIS:  'Being a man of the most violent temper and the most
+desperate courage--'
+
+ROBERTS:  'But I hope, my dear sir, that I didn't hurt you
+seriously?'
+
+BEMIS:  'Not at all--not the least.'  Shaking him cordially by both
+hands:  'I'm all right.  Mrs. Roberts has healed all my wounds with
+her skilful needle; I've got on one of your best neckties, and this
+lace handkerchief of your wife's, which I'm going to keep for a
+souvenir of the most extraordinary adventure of my life--'
+
+LAWTON:  'Oh, it's an old newspaper story, Bemis, I tell you.'
+
+WILLIS:  'Well, Aunt Mary, I wish Agnes were here now to see Roberts
+in his character of MORAL hero.  He 'done' it with his little
+hatchet, but he waited to make sure that Bushrod was all right
+before he owned up.'
+
+MRS. ROBERTS, appearing:  'Who, Willis?'
+
+WILLIS:  'A very great and good man--George Washington.'
+
+MRS. ROBERTS:  'I thought you meant Edward.'
+
+WILLIS:  'Well, I don't suppose there IS much difference.'
+
+MRS. CRASHAW:  'The robber has been caught, Agnes.'
+
+MRS. ROBERTS:  'Caught?  Nonsense!  You don't mean it!  How can you
+trifle with such a subject?  I know you are joking!  Who is it?'
+
+YOUNG BEMIS:  'You never could guess--'
+
+MRS. BEMIS:  'Never in the world!'
+
+MRS. ROBERTS:  'I don't wish to.  But oh, Mr. Bemis, I've just come
+from my own children, and you must be merciful to his family!'
+
+BEMIS:  'For your sake, dear lady, I will.'
+
+BELLA, between the portieres:  'Dinner is ready, Mrs. Roberts.'
+
+MRS. ROBERTS, passing her hand through Mr. Bemis's arm:  'Oh, then
+you must go in with me, and tell me all about it.'
+
+
+
+
+
+End of Project Gutenberg Etext of The Garotters, by William D. Howells
+
diff --git a/old/gartt10.zip b/old/gartt10.zip
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..4205a4c
--- /dev/null
+++ b/old/gartt10.zip