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diff --git a/.gitattributes b/.gitattributes new file mode 100644 index 0000000..6833f05 --- /dev/null +++ b/.gitattributes @@ -0,0 +1,3 @@ +* text=auto +*.txt text +*.md text diff --git a/30019-0.txt b/30019-0.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..bae5b8c --- /dev/null +++ b/30019-0.txt @@ -0,0 +1,263 @@ +*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 30019 *** + +[Illustration] + + + _The Army had a new theme song: "Anything + you can do, we can do better!" And they meant + _anything_, including up-to-date hornpipes!_ + + + NAVY DAY + + By Harry Harrison + + Illustrated by Kelly Freas + + +General Wingrove looked at the rows of faces without seeing them. His +vision went beyond the Congress of the United States, past the balmy +June day to another day that was coming. A day when the Army would have +its destined place of authority. + +He drew a deep breath and delivered what was perhaps the shortest speech +ever heard in the hallowed halls of Congress: + +"The General Staff of the U.S. Army requests Congress to abolish the +archaic branch of the armed forces known as the U.S. Navy." + +The aging Senator from Georgia checked his hearing aid to see if it was +in operating order, while the press box emptied itself in one concerted +rush and a clatter of running feet that died off in the direction of the +telephone room. A buzz of excited comment ran through the giant chamber. +One by one the heads turned to face the Naval section where rows of blue +figures stirred and buzzed like smoked-out bees. The knot of men around +a paunchy figure heavy with gold braid broke up and Admiral Fitzjames +climbed slowly to his feet. + +Lesser men have quailed before that piercing stare, but General Wingrove +was never the lesser man. The admiral tossed his head with disgust, +every line of his body denoting outraged dignity. He turned to his +audience, a small pulse beating in his forehead. + +"I cannot comprehend the general's attitude, nor can I understand why he +has attacked the Navy in this unwarranted fashion. The Navy has existed +and will always exist as the first barrier of American defense. I ask +you, gentlemen, to ignore this request as you would ignore the +statements of any person ... er, slightly demented. I should like to +offer a recommendation that the general's sanity be investigated, and an +inquiry be made as to the mental health of anyone else connected with +this preposterous proposal!" + +The general smiled calmly. "I understand, Admiral, and really don't +blame you for being slightly annoyed. But, please let us not bring this +issue of national importance down to a shallow personal level. The Army +has facts to back up this request--facts that shall be demonstrated +tomorrow morning." + +Turning his back on the raging admiral, General Wingrove included all +the assembled solons in one sweeping gesture. + +"Reserve your judgment until that time, gentlemen, make no hasty +judgments until you have seen the force of argument with which we back +up our request. It is the end of an era. In the morning the Navy joins +its fellow fossils, the dodo and the brontosaurus." + +The admiral's blood pressure mounted to a new record and the gentle thud +of his unconscious body striking the floor was the only sound to break +the shocked silence of the giant hall. + + * * * * * + +The early morning sun warmed the white marble of the Jefferson Memorial +and glinted from the soldiers' helmets and the roofs of the packed cars +that crowded forward in a slow-moving stream. All the gentlemen of +Congress were there, the passage of their cars cleared by the screaming +sirens of motorcycle policemen. Around and under the wheels of the +official cars pressed a solid wave of government workers and common +citizens of the capital city. The trucks of the radio and television +services pressed close, microphones and cameras extended. + +The stage was set for a great day. Neat rows of olive drab vehicles +curved along the water's edge. Jeeps and half-tracks shouldered close by +weapons carriers and six-bys, all of them shrinking to insignificance +beside the looming Patton tanks. A speakers' platform was set up in the +center of the line, near the audience. + +At precisely 10 a.m., General Wingrove stepped forward and scowled at +the crowd until they settled into an uncomfortable silence. His speech +was short and consisted of nothing more than amplifications of his +opening statement that actions speak louder than words. He pointed to +the first truck in line, a 2½-ton filled with an infantry squad sitting +stiffly at attention. + +The driver caught the signal and kicked the engine into life; with a +grind of gears it moved forward toward the river's edge. There was an +indrawn gasp from the crowd as the front wheels ground over the marble +parapet--then the truck was plunging down toward the muddy waters of the +Potomac. + +The wheels touched the water and the surface seemed to sink while taking +on a strange glassy character. The truck roared into high gear and rode +forward on the surface of the water surrounded by a saucer-shaped +depression. It parked two hundred yards off shore and the soldiers, +goaded by the sergeant's bark, leapt out and lined up with a showy +_present arms_. + +The general returned the salute and waved to the remaining vehicles. +They moved forward in a series of maneuvers that indicated a great +number of rehearsal hours on some hidden pond. The tanks rumbled slowly +over the water while the jeeps cut back and forth through their lines in +intricate patterns. The trucks backed and turned like puffing +ballerinas. + +The audience was rooted in a hushed silence, their eyeballs bulging. +They continued to watch the amazing display as General Wingrove spoke +again: + +"You see before you a typical example of Army ingenuity, developed in +Army laboratories. These motor units are supported on the surface of the +water by an intensifying of the surface tension in their immediate area. +Their weight is evenly distributed over the surface, causing the shallow +depressions you see around them. + +"This remarkable feat has been accomplished by the use of the +_Dornifier_. A remarkable invention that is named after that brilliant +scientist, Colonel Robert A. Dorn, Commander of the Brooke Point +Experimental Laboratory. It was there that one of the civilian employees +discovered the Dorn effect--under the Colonel's constant guidance, of +course. + +"Utilizing this invention the Army now becomes master of the sea as well +as the land. Army convoys of trucks and tanks can blanket the world. The +surface of the water is our highway, our motor park, our +battleground--the airfield and runway for our planes." + +Mechanics were pushing a Shooting Star onto the water. They stepped +clear as flame gushed from the tail pipe; with the familiar whooshing +rumble it sped down the Potomac and hurled itself into the air. + +"When this cheap and simple method of crossing oceans is adopted, it +will of course mean the end of that fantastic medieval anachronism, the +Navy. No need for billion-dollar aircraft carriers, battleships, +drydocks and all the other cumbersome junk that keeps those boats and +things afloat. Give the taxpayer back his hard-earned dollar!" + +Teeth grated in the Naval section as carriers and battleships were +called "boats" and the rest of America's sea might lumped under the +casual heading of "things." Lips were curled at the transparent appeal +to the taxpayer's pocketbook. But with leaden hearts they knew that all +this justified wrath and contempt would avail them nothing. This was +Army Day with a vengeance, and the doom of the Navy seemed inescapable. + +The Army had made elaborate plans for what they called "Operation +Sinker." Even as the general spoke the publicity mills ground into high +gear. From coast to coast the citizens absorbed the news with their +morning nourishment. + +"... Agnes, you hear what the radio said! The Army's gonna give a trip +around the world in a B-36 as first prize in this limerick contest. All +you have to do is fill in the last line, and mail one copy to the +Pentagon and the other to the Navy ..." + +The Naval mail room had standing orders to burn all the limericks when +they came in, but some of the newer men seemed to think the entire thing +was a big joke. Commander Bullman found one in the mess hall: + + _The Army will always be there, + On the land, on the sea, in the air. + So why should the Navy + Take all of the gravy ..._ + +to which a seagoing scribe had added: + + _And not give us ensigns our share?_ + +The newspapers were filled daily with photographs of mighty B-36's +landing on Lake Erie, and grinning soldiers making mock beachhead +attacks on Coney Island. Each man wore a buzzing black box at his waist +and walked on the bosom of the now quiet Atlantic like a biblical +prophet. + +Radio and television also carried the thousands of news releases that +poured in an unending flow from the Pentagon Building. Cards, letters, +telegrams and packages descended on Washington in an overwhelming +torrent. The Navy Department was the unhappy recipient of deprecatory +letters and a vast quantity of little cardboard battleships. + +The people spoke and their representatives listened closely. This was an +election year. There didn't seem to be much doubt as to the decision, +particularly when the reduction in the budget was considered. + +It took Congress only two months to make up its collective mind. The +people were all pro-Army. The novelty of the idea had fired their +imaginations. + +They were about to take the final vote in the lower house. If the +amendment passed it would go to the states for ratification, and their +votes were certain to follow that of Congress. The Navy had fought a +last-ditch battle to no avail. The balloting was going to be pretty much +of a sure thing--the wet water Navy would soon become ancient history. + +For some reason the admirals didn't look as unhappy as they should. + + * * * * * + +The Naval Department had requested one last opportunity to address the +Congress. Congress had patronizingly granted permission, for even the +doomed man is allowed one last speech. Admiral Fitzjames, who had +recovered from his choleric attack, was the appointed speaker. + +"Gentlemen of the Congress of the United States. We in the Navy have a +fighting tradition. We 'damn the torpedoes' and sail straight ahead into +the enemy's fire if that is necessary. We have been stabbed in the +back--we have suffered a second Pearl Harbor sneak attack! The Army +relinquished its rights to fair treatment with this attack. Therefore we +are _counter-attacking_!" Worn out by his attacking and mixed metaphors, +the Admiral mopped his brow. + +"Our laboratories have been working night and day on the perfection of a +device we hoped we would never be forced to use. It is now in operation, +having passed the final trials a few days ago. + +"The significance of this device _cannot_ be underestimated. We are so +positive of its importance that--we are _demanding_ that the _Army_ be +abolished!" + +He waved his hand toward the window and bellowed one word. + +"LOOK!" + +Everyone looked. They blinked and looked again. They rubbed their eyes +and kept looking. + +Sailing majestically up the middle of Constitution Avenue was the +battleship Missouri. + +The Admiral's voice rang through the room like a trumpet of victory. + +"The Mark-1 Debinder, as you see, temporarily lessens the binding +energies that hold molecules of solid matter together. Solids become +liquids, and a ship equipped with this device can sail anywhere in the +world--on sea _or_ land. Take your vote, gentlemen; the world awaits +your decision." + + ... THE END + + + + +Transcriber's Note: + + This etext was produced from _If Worlds of Science Fiction_ January + 1954. Extensive research did not uncover any evidence that the U.S. + copyright on this publication was renewed. Minor spelling and + typographical errors have been corrected without note. + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Navy Day, by Harry Harrison + +*** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 30019 *** diff --git a/30019-h/30019-h.htm b/30019-h/30019-h.htm new file mode 100644 index 0000000..0ed0423 --- /dev/null +++ b/30019-h/30019-h.htm @@ -0,0 +1,463 @@ +<!DOCTYPE html PUBLIC "-//W3C//DTD XHTML 1.0 Strict//EN" + "http://www.w3.org/TR/xhtml1/DTD/xhtml1-strict.dtd"> + +<html xmlns="http://www.w3.org/1999/xhtml" xml:lang="en" lang="en"> + <head> + <meta http-equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html;charset=UTF-8" /> + <meta http-equiv="Content-Style-Type" content="text/css" /> + <title> + The Project Gutenberg eBook of Navy Day, by Harry Harrison + </title> + <style type="text/css"> + + p {margin-top: .75em; text-align: justify; margin-bottom: .75em;} + .noin,.cap {text-indent: 0em;} + body > p {text-indent: 1em;} + h1,h2,.hd1 {text-align: center; font-weight: normal;} + hr {width: 45%; margin: 2em auto; visibility: hidden;} + body {margin-left: 10%; margin-right: 10%;} + .rgt {text-align: right; margin-top: 2em;} + .figc {margin: 0 auto; width: 600px;} + .poem {margin: 1em auto; text-align: left; font-style: italic; width: 16em;} + .poem br {display: none;} + .poem span.i0 {display: block; margin-left: 0em; padding-left: 3em; text-indent: -3em;} + img {border: none;} + a:link,a:visited {text-decoration: none;} + p.cap:first-letter {float: left; margin-right: .05em; padding-top: .05em; font-size: 300%; line-height: .8em; width: auto;} + .dcap {text-transform: uppercase;} + .figt {float: left; clear: left; margin: 15px; padding: 0; width: 297px;} + .trn {border: solid 1px; margin: 3em 15%; min-height: 230px;} + .trn p {margin: 15px;} + .bk1 {margin: 2em auto; width: 25em;} + .sp1 {font-size: 150%;} + .hd1 {margin-bottom: 2em;} + + </style> + </head> +<body> +<div>*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 30019 ***</div> + +<div class="figc"><img src="images/001.png" width="600" height="424" alt="" title="" /></div> + +<div class="bk1"><p><big><i>The Army had a new theme song: "Anything +you can do, we can do better!" And they meant +</i>anything<i>, including up-to-date hornpipes!</i></big></p></div> + +<h1><span class="sp1">NAVY DAY</span></h1> + +<h2>By Harry Harrison</h2> + +<div class="hd1">Illustrated by Kelly Freas</div> + +<p class="cap"><span class="dcap">General Wingrove</span> +looked at the rows of faces +without seeing them. His vision +went beyond the Congress of the +United States, past the balmy June +day to another day that was coming. +A day when the Army would +have its destined place of authority.</p> + +<p>He drew a deep breath and delivered +what was perhaps the +shortest speech ever heard in the +hallowed halls of Congress:</p> + +<p>"The General Staff of the U.S. +Army requests Congress to abolish +the archaic branch of the armed +forces known as the U.S. Navy."</p> + +<p>The aging Senator from +Georgia checked his hearing aid to +see if it was in operating order, +while the press box emptied itself +in one concerted rush and a clatter +of running feet that died off in +the direction of the telephone +room. A buzz of excited comment +ran through the giant chamber. +One by one the heads turned to +face the Naval section where rows +of blue figures stirred and buzzed +like smoked-out bees. The knot of +men around a paunchy figure heavy +with gold braid broke up and Admiral +Fitzjames climbed slowly to +his feet.</p> + +<p>Lesser men have quailed before +that piercing stare, but General +Wingrove was never the lesser man. +The admiral tossed his head with +disgust, every line of his body denoting +outraged dignity. He turned +to his audience, a small pulse beating +in his forehead.</p> + +<p>"I cannot comprehend the general's +attitude, nor can I understand +why he has attacked the Navy +in this unwarranted fashion. The +Navy has existed and will always +exist as the first barrier of American +defense. I ask you, gentlemen, +to ignore this request as you would +ignore the statements of any person ... er, +slightly demented. I +should like to offer a recommendation +that the general's sanity be investigated, +and an inquiry be made +as to the mental health of anyone +else connected with this preposterous +proposal!"</p> + +<p>The general smiled calmly. "I +understand, Admiral, and really +don't blame you for being slightly +annoyed. But, please let us not bring +this issue of national importance +down to a shallow personal level. +The Army has facts to back up this +request—facts that shall be demonstrated +tomorrow morning."</p> + +<p>Turning his back on the raging +admiral, General Wingrove included +all the assembled solons in +one sweeping gesture.</p> + +<p>"Reserve your judgment until +that time, gentlemen, make no hasty +judgments until you have seen the +force of argument with which we +back up our request. It is the end +of an era. In the morning the Navy +joins its fellow fossils, the dodo and +the brontosaurus."</p> + +<p>The admiral's blood pressure +mounted to a new record and the +gentle thud of his unconscious body +striking the floor was the only sound +to break the shocked silence of the +giant hall.</p> + +<hr /> + +<p class="cap"><span class="dcap">The early</span> morning sun +warmed the white marble of the +Jefferson Memorial and glinted +from the soldiers' helmets and the +roofs of the packed cars that +crowded forward in a slow-moving +stream. All the gentlemen of Congress +were there, the passage of +their cars cleared by the screaming +sirens of motorcycle policemen. +Around and under the wheels of the +official cars pressed a solid wave of +government workers and common +citizens of the capital city. The +trucks of the radio and television +services pressed close, microphones +and cameras extended.</p> + +<p>The stage was set for a great day. +Neat rows of olive drab vehicles +curved along the water's edge. Jeeps +and half-tracks shouldered close by +weapons carriers and six-bys, all of +them shrinking to insignificance beside +the looming Patton tanks. A +speakers' platform was set up in the +center of the line, near the audience.</p> + +<p>At precisely 10 a.m., General Wingrove +stepped forward and scowled +at the crowd until they settled into +an uncomfortable silence. His +speech was short and consisted of +nothing more than amplifications +of his opening statement that actions +speak louder than words. He +pointed to the first truck in line, a +2½-ton filled with an infantry +squad sitting stiffly at attention.</p> + +<p>The driver caught the signal and +kicked the engine into life; with +a grind of gears it moved forward +toward the river's edge. There was +an indrawn gasp from the crowd +as the front wheels ground over the +marble parapet—then the truck was +plunging down toward the muddy +waters of the Potomac.</p> + +<p>The wheels touched the water +and the surface seemed to sink +while taking on a strange glassy +character. The truck roared into +high gear and rode forward on the +surface of the water surrounded +by a saucer-shaped depression. It +parked two hundred yards off shore +and the soldiers, goaded by the +sergeant's bark, leapt out and lined +up with a showy <i>present arms</i>.</p> + +<p>The general returned the salute +and waved to the remaining vehicles. +They moved forward in a +series of maneuvers that indicated +a great number of rehearsal hours +on some hidden pond. The tanks +rumbled slowly over the water +while the jeeps cut back and forth +through their lines in intricate patterns. +The trucks backed and +turned like puffing ballerinas.</p> + +<p>The audience was rooted in a +hushed silence, their eyeballs bulging. +They continued to watch the +amazing display as General Wingrove +spoke again:</p> + +<p>"You see before you a typical +example of Army ingenuity, developed +in Army laboratories. These +motor units are supported on the +surface of the water by an intensifying +of the surface tension in +their immediate area. Their weight +is evenly distributed over the surface, +causing the shallow depressions +you see around them.</p> + +<p>"This remarkable feat has been +accomplished by the use of the +<i>Dornifier</i>. A remarkable invention +that is named after that brilliant +scientist, Colonel Robert A. Dorn, +Commander of the Brooke Point +Experimental Laboratory. It was +there that one of the civilian employees +discovered the Dorn effect—under +the Colonel's constant guidance, +of course.</p> + +<p>"Utilizing this invention the +Army now becomes master of the +sea as well as the land. Army convoys +of trucks and tanks can blanket +the world. The surface of the +water is our highway, our motor +park, our battleground—the airfield +and runway for our planes."</p> + +<p>Mechanics were pushing a Shooting +Star onto the water. They +stepped clear as flame gushed from +the tail pipe; with the familiar +whooshing rumble it sped down the +Potomac and hurled itself into the +air.</p> + +<p>"When this cheap and simple +method of crossing oceans is +adopted, it will of course mean the +end of that fantastic medieval +anachronism, the Navy. No need +for billion-dollar aircraft carriers, +battleships, drydocks and all the +other cumbersome junk that keeps +those boats and things afloat. Give +the taxpayer back his hard-earned +dollar!"</p> + +<p>Teeth grated in the Naval section +as carriers and battleships were +called "boats" and the rest of +America's sea might lumped under +the casual heading of "things." Lips +were curled at the transparent appeal +to the taxpayer's pocketbook. +But with leaden hearts they knew +that all this justified wrath and contempt +would avail them nothing. +This was Army Day with a vengeance, +and the doom of the Navy +seemed inescapable.</p> + +<p>The Army had made elaborate +plans for what they called "Operation +Sinker." Even as the general +spoke the publicity mills ground +into high gear. From coast to coast +the citizens absorbed the news with +their morning nourishment.</p> + +<p>"... Agnes, you hear what the +radio said! The Army's gonna give +a trip around the world in a B-36 +as first prize in this limerick contest. +All you have to do is fill in the +last line, and mail one copy to +the Pentagon and the other to the +Navy ..."</p> + +<p>The Naval mail room had standing +orders to burn all the limericks +when they came in, but some of the +newer men seemed to think the +entire thing was a big joke. Commander +Bullman found one in the +mess hall:</p> + +<div class="poem"> +<span class="i0">The Army will always be there,<br /></span> +<span class="i0">On the land, on the sea, in the air.<br /></span> +<span class="i0">So why should the Navy<br /></span> +<span class="i0">Take all of the gravy ...<br /></span> +</div> + +<p class="noin">to which a seagoing scribe had +added:</p> + +<div class="poem"> +<span class="i0">And not give us ensigns our share?<br /></span> +</div> + +<p>The newspapers were filled daily +with photographs of mighty B-36's +landing on Lake Erie, and grinning +soldiers making mock beachhead +attacks on Coney Island. Each man +wore a buzzing black box at his +waist and walked on the bosom of +the now quiet Atlantic like a biblical +prophet.</p> + +<p>Radio and television also carried +the thousands of news releases that +poured in an unending flow from +the Pentagon Building. Cards, letters, +telegrams and packages descended +on Washington in an overwhelming +torrent. The Navy Department +was the unhappy recipient +of deprecatory letters and a vast +quantity of little cardboard battleships.</p> + +<p>The people spoke and their representatives +listened closely. This +was an election year. There didn't +seem to be much doubt as to the +decision, particularly when the reduction +in the budget was considered.</p> + +<p>It took Congress only two months +to make up its collective mind. The +people were all pro-Army. The novelty +of the idea had fired their +imaginations.</p> + +<p>They were about to take the final +vote in the lower house. If the +amendment passed it would go to +the states for ratification, and their +votes were certain to follow that of +Congress. The Navy had fought a +last-ditch battle to no avail. The +balloting was going to be pretty +much of a sure thing—the wet +water Navy would soon become ancient +history.</p> + +<p>For some reason the admirals +didn't look as unhappy as they +should.</p> + +<hr /> + +<p class="cap"><span class="dcap">The Naval</span> Department had +requested one last opportunity to +address the Congress. Congress had +patronizingly granted permission, +for even the doomed man is allowed +one last speech. Admiral Fitzjames, +who had recovered from his choleric +attack, was the appointed +speaker.</p> + +<p>"Gentlemen of the Congress of +the United States. We in the Navy +have a fighting tradition. We 'damn +the torpedoes' and sail straight +ahead into the enemy's fire if that +is necessary. We have been stabbed +in the back—we have suffered a +second Pearl Harbor sneak attack! +The Army relinquished its rights +to fair treatment with this attack. +Therefore we are <i>counter-attacking</i>!" +Worn out by his attacking +and mixed metaphors, the Admiral +mopped his brow.</p> + +<p>"Our laboratories have been +working night and day on the perfection +of a device we hoped we +would never be forced to use. It +is now in operation, having passed +the final trials a few days ago.</p> + +<p>"The significance of this device +<i>cannot</i> be underestimated. We are +so positive of its importance that—we +are <i>demanding</i> that the <i>Army</i> +be abolished!"</p> + +<p>He waved his hand toward the +window and bellowed one word.</p> + +<p>"LOOK!"</p> + +<p>Everyone looked. They blinked +and looked again. They rubbed +their eyes and kept looking.</p> + +<p>Sailing majestically up the middle +of Constitution Avenue was the +battleship Missouri.</p> + +<p>The Admiral's voice rang +through the room like a trumpet of +victory.</p> + +<p>"The Mark-1 Debinder, as you +see, temporarily lessens the binding +energies that hold molecules of solid +matter together. Solids become liquids, +and a ship equipped with +this device can sail anywhere in the +world—on sea <i>or</i> land. Take your +vote, gentlemen; the world awaits +your decision."</p> + +<p class="rgt"><b>... THE END</b></p> + +<div class="trn"><div class="figt"><a href="images/002-2.jpg"><img src="images/002-1.jpg" width="297" height="200" alt="" title="" /></a></div> + +<p><big><b>Transcriber's Note:</b></big></p> + +<p>This etext was produced from <i>If Worlds of Science Fiction</i> January 1954. +Extensive research did not uncover any evidence that the U.S. +copyright on this publication was renewed. Minor spelling and +typographical errors have been corrected without note.</p></div> + +<div>*** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 30019 ***</div> +</body> +</html> diff --git a/30019-h/images/001.png b/30019-h/images/001.png Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..9f1e4ad --- /dev/null +++ b/30019-h/images/001.png diff --git a/30019-h/images/002-1.jpg b/30019-h/images/002-1.jpg Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..002d1f4 --- /dev/null +++ b/30019-h/images/002-1.jpg diff --git a/30019-h/images/002-2.jpg b/30019-h/images/002-2.jpg Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..06691c1 --- /dev/null +++ b/30019-h/images/002-2.jpg diff --git a/LICENSE.txt b/LICENSE.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..6312041 --- /dev/null +++ b/LICENSE.txt @@ -0,0 +1,11 @@ +This eBook, including all associated images, markup, improvements, +metadata, and any other content or labor, has been confirmed to be +in the PUBLIC DOMAIN IN THE UNITED STATES. + +Procedures for determining public domain status are described in +the "Copyright How-To" at https://www.gutenberg.org. + +No investigation has been made concerning possible copyrights in +jurisdictions other than the United States. Anyone seeking to utilize +this eBook outside of the United States should confirm copyright +status under the laws that apply to them. diff --git a/README.md b/README.md new file mode 100644 index 0000000..c96e23b --- /dev/null +++ b/README.md @@ -0,0 +1,2 @@ +Project Gutenberg (https://www.gutenberg.org) public repository for +eBook #30019 (https://www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/30019) diff --git a/old/30019-8.txt b/old/30019-8.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..446bb66 --- /dev/null +++ b/old/30019-8.txt @@ -0,0 +1,657 @@ +The Project Gutenberg EBook of Navy Day, by Harry Harrison + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: Navy Day + +Author: Harry Harrison + +Illustrator: Kelly Freas + +Release Date: September 18, 2009 [EBook #30019] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1 + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK NAVY DAY *** + + + + +Produced by Greg Weeks, Stephen Blundell and the Online +Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net + + + + + + + + + +[Illustration] + + + _The Army had a new theme song: "Anything + you can do, we can do better!" And they meant + _anything_, including up-to-date hornpipes!_ + + + NAVY DAY + + By Harry Harrison + + Illustrated by Kelly Freas + + +General Wingrove looked at the rows of faces without seeing them. His +vision went beyond the Congress of the United States, past the balmy +June day to another day that was coming. A day when the Army would have +its destined place of authority. + +He drew a deep breath and delivered what was perhaps the shortest speech +ever heard in the hallowed halls of Congress: + +"The General Staff of the U.S. Army requests Congress to abolish the +archaic branch of the armed forces known as the U.S. Navy." + +The aging Senator from Georgia checked his hearing aid to see if it was +in operating order, while the press box emptied itself in one concerted +rush and a clatter of running feet that died off in the direction of the +telephone room. A buzz of excited comment ran through the giant chamber. +One by one the heads turned to face the Naval section where rows of blue +figures stirred and buzzed like smoked-out bees. The knot of men around +a paunchy figure heavy with gold braid broke up and Admiral Fitzjames +climbed slowly to his feet. + +Lesser men have quailed before that piercing stare, but General Wingrove +was never the lesser man. The admiral tossed his head with disgust, +every line of his body denoting outraged dignity. He turned to his +audience, a small pulse beating in his forehead. + +"I cannot comprehend the general's attitude, nor can I understand why he +has attacked the Navy in this unwarranted fashion. The Navy has existed +and will always exist as the first barrier of American defense. I ask +you, gentlemen, to ignore this request as you would ignore the +statements of any person ... er, slightly demented. I should like to +offer a recommendation that the general's sanity be investigated, and an +inquiry be made as to the mental health of anyone else connected with +this preposterous proposal!" + +The general smiled calmly. "I understand, Admiral, and really don't +blame you for being slightly annoyed. But, please let us not bring this +issue of national importance down to a shallow personal level. The Army +has facts to back up this request--facts that shall be demonstrated +tomorrow morning." + +Turning his back on the raging admiral, General Wingrove included all +the assembled solons in one sweeping gesture. + +"Reserve your judgment until that time, gentlemen, make no hasty +judgments until you have seen the force of argument with which we back +up our request. It is the end of an era. In the morning the Navy joins +its fellow fossils, the dodo and the brontosaurus." + +The admiral's blood pressure mounted to a new record and the gentle thud +of his unconscious body striking the floor was the only sound to break +the shocked silence of the giant hall. + + * * * * * + +The early morning sun warmed the white marble of the Jefferson Memorial +and glinted from the soldiers' helmets and the roofs of the packed cars +that crowded forward in a slow-moving stream. All the gentlemen of +Congress were there, the passage of their cars cleared by the screaming +sirens of motorcycle policemen. Around and under the wheels of the +official cars pressed a solid wave of government workers and common +citizens of the capital city. The trucks of the radio and television +services pressed close, microphones and cameras extended. + +The stage was set for a great day. Neat rows of olive drab vehicles +curved along the water's edge. Jeeps and half-tracks shouldered close by +weapons carriers and six-bys, all of them shrinking to insignificance +beside the looming Patton tanks. A speakers' platform was set up in the +center of the line, near the audience. + +At precisely 10 a.m., General Wingrove stepped forward and scowled at +the crowd until they settled into an uncomfortable silence. His speech +was short and consisted of nothing more than amplifications of his +opening statement that actions speak louder than words. He pointed to +the first truck in line, a 2½-ton filled with an infantry squad sitting +stiffly at attention. + +The driver caught the signal and kicked the engine into life; with a +grind of gears it moved forward toward the river's edge. There was an +indrawn gasp from the crowd as the front wheels ground over the marble +parapet--then the truck was plunging down toward the muddy waters of the +Potomac. + +The wheels touched the water and the surface seemed to sink while taking +on a strange glassy character. The truck roared into high gear and rode +forward on the surface of the water surrounded by a saucer-shaped +depression. It parked two hundred yards off shore and the soldiers, +goaded by the sergeant's bark, leapt out and lined up with a showy +_present arms_. + +The general returned the salute and waved to the remaining vehicles. +They moved forward in a series of maneuvers that indicated a great +number of rehearsal hours on some hidden pond. The tanks rumbled slowly +over the water while the jeeps cut back and forth through their lines in +intricate patterns. The trucks backed and turned like puffing +ballerinas. + +The audience was rooted in a hushed silence, their eyeballs bulging. +They continued to watch the amazing display as General Wingrove spoke +again: + +"You see before you a typical example of Army ingenuity, developed in +Army laboratories. These motor units are supported on the surface of the +water by an intensifying of the surface tension in their immediate area. +Their weight is evenly distributed over the surface, causing the shallow +depressions you see around them. + +"This remarkable feat has been accomplished by the use of the +_Dornifier_. A remarkable invention that is named after that brilliant +scientist, Colonel Robert A. Dorn, Commander of the Brooke Point +Experimental Laboratory. It was there that one of the civilian employees +discovered the Dorn effect--under the Colonel's constant guidance, of +course. + +"Utilizing this invention the Army now becomes master of the sea as well +as the land. Army convoys of trucks and tanks can blanket the world. The +surface of the water is our highway, our motor park, our +battleground--the airfield and runway for our planes." + +Mechanics were pushing a Shooting Star onto the water. They stepped +clear as flame gushed from the tail pipe; with the familiar whooshing +rumble it sped down the Potomac and hurled itself into the air. + +"When this cheap and simple method of crossing oceans is adopted, it +will of course mean the end of that fantastic medieval anachronism, the +Navy. No need for billion-dollar aircraft carriers, battleships, +drydocks and all the other cumbersome junk that keeps those boats and +things afloat. Give the taxpayer back his hard-earned dollar!" + +Teeth grated in the Naval section as carriers and battleships were +called "boats" and the rest of America's sea might lumped under the +casual heading of "things." Lips were curled at the transparent appeal +to the taxpayer's pocketbook. But with leaden hearts they knew that all +this justified wrath and contempt would avail them nothing. This was +Army Day with a vengeance, and the doom of the Navy seemed inescapable. + +The Army had made elaborate plans for what they called "Operation +Sinker." Even as the general spoke the publicity mills ground into high +gear. From coast to coast the citizens absorbed the news with their +morning nourishment. + +"... Agnes, you hear what the radio said! The Army's gonna give a trip +around the world in a B-36 as first prize in this limerick contest. All +you have to do is fill in the last line, and mail one copy to the +Pentagon and the other to the Navy ..." + +The Naval mail room had standing orders to burn all the limericks when +they came in, but some of the newer men seemed to think the entire thing +was a big joke. Commander Bullman found one in the mess hall: + + _The Army will always be there, + On the land, on the sea, in the air. + So why should the Navy + Take all of the gravy ..._ + +to which a seagoing scribe had added: + + _And not give us ensigns our share?_ + +The newspapers were filled daily with photographs of mighty B-36's +landing on Lake Erie, and grinning soldiers making mock beachhead +attacks on Coney Island. Each man wore a buzzing black box at his waist +and walked on the bosom of the now quiet Atlantic like a biblical +prophet. + +Radio and television also carried the thousands of news releases that +poured in an unending flow from the Pentagon Building. Cards, letters, +telegrams and packages descended on Washington in an overwhelming +torrent. The Navy Department was the unhappy recipient of deprecatory +letters and a vast quantity of little cardboard battleships. + +The people spoke and their representatives listened closely. This was an +election year. There didn't seem to be much doubt as to the decision, +particularly when the reduction in the budget was considered. + +It took Congress only two months to make up its collective mind. The +people were all pro-Army. The novelty of the idea had fired their +imaginations. + +They were about to take the final vote in the lower house. If the +amendment passed it would go to the states for ratification, and their +votes were certain to follow that of Congress. The Navy had fought a +last-ditch battle to no avail. The balloting was going to be pretty much +of a sure thing--the wet water Navy would soon become ancient history. + +For some reason the admirals didn't look as unhappy as they should. + + * * * * * + +The Naval Department had requested one last opportunity to address the +Congress. Congress had patronizingly granted permission, for even the +doomed man is allowed one last speech. Admiral Fitzjames, who had +recovered from his choleric attack, was the appointed speaker. + +"Gentlemen of the Congress of the United States. We in the Navy have a +fighting tradition. We 'damn the torpedoes' and sail straight ahead into +the enemy's fire if that is necessary. We have been stabbed in the +back--we have suffered a second Pearl Harbor sneak attack! The Army +relinquished its rights to fair treatment with this attack. Therefore we +are _counter-attacking_!" Worn out by his attacking and mixed metaphors, +the Admiral mopped his brow. + +"Our laboratories have been working night and day on the perfection of a +device we hoped we would never be forced to use. It is now in operation, +having passed the final trials a few days ago. + +"The significance of this device _cannot_ be underestimated. We are so +positive of its importance that--we are _demanding_ that the _Army_ be +abolished!" + +He waved his hand toward the window and bellowed one word. + +"LOOK!" + +Everyone looked. They blinked and looked again. They rubbed their eyes +and kept looking. + +Sailing majestically up the middle of Constitution Avenue was the +battleship Missouri. + +The Admiral's voice rang through the room like a trumpet of victory. + +"The Mark-1 Debinder, as you see, temporarily lessens the binding +energies that hold molecules of solid matter together. Solids become +liquids, and a ship equipped with this device can sail anywhere in the +world--on sea _or_ land. Take your vote, gentlemen; the world awaits +your decision." + + ... THE END + + + + +Transcriber's Note: + + This etext was produced from _If Worlds of Science Fiction_ January + 1954. Extensive research did not uncover any evidence that the U.S. + copyright on this publication was renewed. Minor spelling and + typographical errors have been corrected without note. + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Navy Day, by Harry Harrison + +*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK NAVY DAY *** + +***** This file should be named 30019-8.txt or 30019-8.zip ***** +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: + http://www.gutenberg.org/3/0/0/1/30019/ + +Produced by Greg Weeks, Stephen Blundell and the Online +Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net + + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: Navy Day + +Author: Harry Harrison + +Illustrator: Kelly Freas + +Release Date: September 18, 2009 [EBook #30019] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1 + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK NAVY DAY *** + + + + +Produced by Greg Weeks, Stephen Blundell and the Online +Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net + + + + + + +</pre> + + +<div class="figc"><img src="images/001.png" width="600" height="424" alt="" title="" /></div> + +<div class="bk1"><p><big><i>The Army had a new theme song: "Anything +you can do, we can do better!" And they meant +</i>anything<i>, including up-to-date hornpipes!</i></big></p></div> + +<h1><span class="sp1">NAVY DAY</span></h1> + +<h2>By Harry Harrison</h2> + +<div class="hd1">Illustrated by Kelly Freas</div> + +<p class="cap"><span class="dcap">General Wingrove</span> +looked at the rows of faces +without seeing them. His vision +went beyond the Congress of the +United States, past the balmy June +day to another day that was coming. +A day when the Army would +have its destined place of authority.</p> + +<p>He drew a deep breath and delivered +what was perhaps the +shortest speech ever heard in the +hallowed halls of Congress:</p> + +<p>"The General Staff of the U.S. +Army requests Congress to abolish +the archaic branch of the armed +forces known as the U.S. Navy."</p> + +<p>The aging Senator from +Georgia checked his hearing aid to +see if it was in operating order, +while the press box emptied itself +in one concerted rush and a clatter +of running feet that died off in +the direction of the telephone +room. A buzz of excited comment +ran through the giant chamber. +One by one the heads turned to +face the Naval section where rows +of blue figures stirred and buzzed +like smoked-out bees. The knot of +men around a paunchy figure heavy +with gold braid broke up and Admiral +Fitzjames climbed slowly to +his feet.</p> + +<p>Lesser men have quailed before +that piercing stare, but General +Wingrove was never the lesser man. +The admiral tossed his head with +disgust, every line of his body denoting +outraged dignity. He turned +to his audience, a small pulse beating +in his forehead.</p> + +<p>"I cannot comprehend the general's +attitude, nor can I understand +why he has attacked the Navy +in this unwarranted fashion. The +Navy has existed and will always +exist as the first barrier of American +defense. I ask you, gentlemen, +to ignore this request as you would +ignore the statements of any person ... er, +slightly demented. I +should like to offer a recommendation +that the general's sanity be investigated, +and an inquiry be made +as to the mental health of anyone +else connected with this preposterous +proposal!"</p> + +<p>The general smiled calmly. "I +understand, Admiral, and really +don't blame you for being slightly +annoyed. But, please let us not bring +this issue of national importance +down to a shallow personal level. +The Army has facts to back up this +request—facts that shall be demonstrated +tomorrow morning."</p> + +<p>Turning his back on the raging +admiral, General Wingrove included +all the assembled solons in +one sweeping gesture.</p> + +<p>"Reserve your judgment until +that time, gentlemen, make no hasty +judgments until you have seen the +force of argument with which we +back up our request. It is the end +of an era. In the morning the Navy +joins its fellow fossils, the dodo and +the brontosaurus."</p> + +<p>The admiral's blood pressure +mounted to a new record and the +gentle thud of his unconscious body +striking the floor was the only sound +to break the shocked silence of the +giant hall.</p> + +<hr /> + +<p class="cap"><span class="dcap">The early</span> morning sun +warmed the white marble of the +Jefferson Memorial and glinted +from the soldiers' helmets and the +roofs of the packed cars that +crowded forward in a slow-moving +stream. All the gentlemen of Congress +were there, the passage of +their cars cleared by the screaming +sirens of motorcycle policemen. +Around and under the wheels of the +official cars pressed a solid wave of +government workers and common +citizens of the capital city. The +trucks of the radio and television +services pressed close, microphones +and cameras extended.</p> + +<p>The stage was set for a great day. +Neat rows of olive drab vehicles +curved along the water's edge. Jeeps +and half-tracks shouldered close by +weapons carriers and six-bys, all of +them shrinking to insignificance beside +the looming Patton tanks. A +speakers' platform was set up in the +center of the line, near the audience.</p> + +<p>At precisely 10 a.m., General Wingrove +stepped forward and scowled +at the crowd until they settled into +an uncomfortable silence. His +speech was short and consisted of +nothing more than amplifications +of his opening statement that actions +speak louder than words. He +pointed to the first truck in line, a +2½-ton filled with an infantry +squad sitting stiffly at attention.</p> + +<p>The driver caught the signal and +kicked the engine into life; with +a grind of gears it moved forward +toward the river's edge. There was +an indrawn gasp from the crowd +as the front wheels ground over the +marble parapet—then the truck was +plunging down toward the muddy +waters of the Potomac.</p> + +<p>The wheels touched the water +and the surface seemed to sink +while taking on a strange glassy +character. The truck roared into +high gear and rode forward on the +surface of the water surrounded +by a saucer-shaped depression. It +parked two hundred yards off shore +and the soldiers, goaded by the +sergeant's bark, leapt out and lined +up with a showy <i>present arms</i>.</p> + +<p>The general returned the salute +and waved to the remaining vehicles. +They moved forward in a +series of maneuvers that indicated +a great number of rehearsal hours +on some hidden pond. The tanks +rumbled slowly over the water +while the jeeps cut back and forth +through their lines in intricate patterns. +The trucks backed and +turned like puffing ballerinas.</p> + +<p>The audience was rooted in a +hushed silence, their eyeballs bulging. +They continued to watch the +amazing display as General Wingrove +spoke again:</p> + +<p>"You see before you a typical +example of Army ingenuity, developed +in Army laboratories. These +motor units are supported on the +surface of the water by an intensifying +of the surface tension in +their immediate area. Their weight +is evenly distributed over the surface, +causing the shallow depressions +you see around them.</p> + +<p>"This remarkable feat has been +accomplished by the use of the +<i>Dornifier</i>. A remarkable invention +that is named after that brilliant +scientist, Colonel Robert A. Dorn, +Commander of the Brooke Point +Experimental Laboratory. It was +there that one of the civilian employees +discovered the Dorn effect—under +the Colonel's constant guidance, +of course.</p> + +<p>"Utilizing this invention the +Army now becomes master of the +sea as well as the land. Army convoys +of trucks and tanks can blanket +the world. The surface of the +water is our highway, our motor +park, our battleground—the airfield +and runway for our planes."</p> + +<p>Mechanics were pushing a Shooting +Star onto the water. They +stepped clear as flame gushed from +the tail pipe; with the familiar +whooshing rumble it sped down the +Potomac and hurled itself into the +air.</p> + +<p>"When this cheap and simple +method of crossing oceans is +adopted, it will of course mean the +end of that fantastic medieval +anachronism, the Navy. No need +for billion-dollar aircraft carriers, +battleships, drydocks and all the +other cumbersome junk that keeps +those boats and things afloat. Give +the taxpayer back his hard-earned +dollar!"</p> + +<p>Teeth grated in the Naval section +as carriers and battleships were +called "boats" and the rest of +America's sea might lumped under +the casual heading of "things." Lips +were curled at the transparent appeal +to the taxpayer's pocketbook. +But with leaden hearts they knew +that all this justified wrath and contempt +would avail them nothing. +This was Army Day with a vengeance, +and the doom of the Navy +seemed inescapable.</p> + +<p>The Army had made elaborate +plans for what they called "Operation +Sinker." Even as the general +spoke the publicity mills ground +into high gear. From coast to coast +the citizens absorbed the news with +their morning nourishment.</p> + +<p>"... Agnes, you hear what the +radio said! The Army's gonna give +a trip around the world in a B-36 +as first prize in this limerick contest. +All you have to do is fill in the +last line, and mail one copy to +the Pentagon and the other to the +Navy ..."</p> + +<p>The Naval mail room had standing +orders to burn all the limericks +when they came in, but some of the +newer men seemed to think the +entire thing was a big joke. Commander +Bullman found one in the +mess hall:</p> + +<div class="poem"> +<span class="i0">The Army will always be there,<br /></span> +<span class="i0">On the land, on the sea, in the air.<br /></span> +<span class="i0">So why should the Navy<br /></span> +<span class="i0">Take all of the gravy ...<br /></span> +</div> + +<p class="noin">to which a seagoing scribe had +added:</p> + +<div class="poem"> +<span class="i0">And not give us ensigns our share?<br /></span> +</div> + +<p>The newspapers were filled daily +with photographs of mighty B-36's +landing on Lake Erie, and grinning +soldiers making mock beachhead +attacks on Coney Island. Each man +wore a buzzing black box at his +waist and walked on the bosom of +the now quiet Atlantic like a biblical +prophet.</p> + +<p>Radio and television also carried +the thousands of news releases that +poured in an unending flow from +the Pentagon Building. Cards, letters, +telegrams and packages descended +on Washington in an overwhelming +torrent. The Navy Department +was the unhappy recipient +of deprecatory letters and a vast +quantity of little cardboard battleships.</p> + +<p>The people spoke and their representatives +listened closely. This +was an election year. There didn't +seem to be much doubt as to the +decision, particularly when the reduction +in the budget was considered.</p> + +<p>It took Congress only two months +to make up its collective mind. The +people were all pro-Army. The novelty +of the idea had fired their +imaginations.</p> + +<p>They were about to take the final +vote in the lower house. If the +amendment passed it would go to +the states for ratification, and their +votes were certain to follow that of +Congress. The Navy had fought a +last-ditch battle to no avail. The +balloting was going to be pretty +much of a sure thing—the wet +water Navy would soon become ancient +history.</p> + +<p>For some reason the admirals +didn't look as unhappy as they +should.</p> + +<hr /> + +<p class="cap"><span class="dcap">The Naval</span> Department had +requested one last opportunity to +address the Congress. Congress had +patronizingly granted permission, +for even the doomed man is allowed +one last speech. Admiral Fitzjames, +who had recovered from his choleric +attack, was the appointed +speaker.</p> + +<p>"Gentlemen of the Congress of +the United States. We in the Navy +have a fighting tradition. We 'damn +the torpedoes' and sail straight +ahead into the enemy's fire if that +is necessary. We have been stabbed +in the back—we have suffered a +second Pearl Harbor sneak attack! +The Army relinquished its rights +to fair treatment with this attack. +Therefore we are <i>counter-attacking</i>!" +Worn out by his attacking +and mixed metaphors, the Admiral +mopped his brow.</p> + +<p>"Our laboratories have been +working night and day on the perfection +of a device we hoped we +would never be forced to use. It +is now in operation, having passed +the final trials a few days ago.</p> + +<p>"The significance of this device +<i>cannot</i> be underestimated. We are +so positive of its importance that—we +are <i>demanding</i> that the <i>Army</i> +be abolished!"</p> + +<p>He waved his hand toward the +window and bellowed one word.</p> + +<p>"LOOK!"</p> + +<p>Everyone looked. They blinked +and looked again. They rubbed +their eyes and kept looking.</p> + +<p>Sailing majestically up the middle +of Constitution Avenue was the +battleship Missouri.</p> + +<p>The Admiral's voice rang +through the room like a trumpet of +victory.</p> + +<p>"The Mark-1 Debinder, as you +see, temporarily lessens the binding +energies that hold molecules of solid +matter together. Solids become liquids, +and a ship equipped with +this device can sail anywhere in the +world—on sea <i>or</i> land. Take your +vote, gentlemen; the world awaits +your decision."</p> + +<p class="rgt"><b>... THE END</b></p> + +<div class="trn"><div class="figt"><a href="images/002-2.jpg"><img src="images/002-1.jpg" width="297" height="200" alt="" title="" /></a></div> + +<p><big><b>Transcriber's Note:</b></big></p> + +<p>This etext was produced from <i>If Worlds of Science Fiction</i> January 1954. +Extensive research did not uncover any evidence that the U.S. +copyright on this publication was renewed. Minor spelling and +typographical errors have been corrected without note.</p></div> + + + + + + + + +<pre> + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Navy Day, by Harry Harrison + +*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK NAVY DAY *** + +***** This file should be named 30019-h.htm or 30019-h.zip ***** +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: + http://www.gutenberg.org/3/0/0/1/30019/ + +Produced by Greg Weeks, Stephen Blundell and the Online +Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net + + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: Navy Day + +Author: Harry Harrison + +Illustrator: Kelly Freas + +Release Date: September 18, 2009 [EBook #30019] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ASCII + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK NAVY DAY *** + + + + +Produced by Greg Weeks, Stephen Blundell and the Online +Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net + + + + + + + + + +[Illustration] + + + _The Army had a new theme song: "Anything + you can do, we can do better!" And they meant + _anything_, including up-to-date hornpipes!_ + + + NAVY DAY + + By Harry Harrison + + Illustrated by Kelly Freas + + +General Wingrove looked at the rows of faces without seeing them. His +vision went beyond the Congress of the United States, past the balmy +June day to another day that was coming. A day when the Army would have +its destined place of authority. + +He drew a deep breath and delivered what was perhaps the shortest speech +ever heard in the hallowed halls of Congress: + +"The General Staff of the U.S. Army requests Congress to abolish the +archaic branch of the armed forces known as the U.S. Navy." + +The aging Senator from Georgia checked his hearing aid to see if it was +in operating order, while the press box emptied itself in one concerted +rush and a clatter of running feet that died off in the direction of the +telephone room. A buzz of excited comment ran through the giant chamber. +One by one the heads turned to face the Naval section where rows of blue +figures stirred and buzzed like smoked-out bees. The knot of men around +a paunchy figure heavy with gold braid broke up and Admiral Fitzjames +climbed slowly to his feet. + +Lesser men have quailed before that piercing stare, but General Wingrove +was never the lesser man. The admiral tossed his head with disgust, +every line of his body denoting outraged dignity. He turned to his +audience, a small pulse beating in his forehead. + +"I cannot comprehend the general's attitude, nor can I understand why he +has attacked the Navy in this unwarranted fashion. The Navy has existed +and will always exist as the first barrier of American defense. I ask +you, gentlemen, to ignore this request as you would ignore the +statements of any person ... er, slightly demented. I should like to +offer a recommendation that the general's sanity be investigated, and an +inquiry be made as to the mental health of anyone else connected with +this preposterous proposal!" + +The general smiled calmly. "I understand, Admiral, and really don't +blame you for being slightly annoyed. But, please let us not bring this +issue of national importance down to a shallow personal level. The Army +has facts to back up this request--facts that shall be demonstrated +tomorrow morning." + +Turning his back on the raging admiral, General Wingrove included all +the assembled solons in one sweeping gesture. + +"Reserve your judgment until that time, gentlemen, make no hasty +judgments until you have seen the force of argument with which we back +up our request. It is the end of an era. In the morning the Navy joins +its fellow fossils, the dodo and the brontosaurus." + +The admiral's blood pressure mounted to a new record and the gentle thud +of his unconscious body striking the floor was the only sound to break +the shocked silence of the giant hall. + + * * * * * + +The early morning sun warmed the white marble of the Jefferson Memorial +and glinted from the soldiers' helmets and the roofs of the packed cars +that crowded forward in a slow-moving stream. All the gentlemen of +Congress were there, the passage of their cars cleared by the screaming +sirens of motorcycle policemen. Around and under the wheels of the +official cars pressed a solid wave of government workers and common +citizens of the capital city. The trucks of the radio and television +services pressed close, microphones and cameras extended. + +The stage was set for a great day. Neat rows of olive drab vehicles +curved along the water's edge. Jeeps and half-tracks shouldered close by +weapons carriers and six-bys, all of them shrinking to insignificance +beside the looming Patton tanks. A speakers' platform was set up in the +center of the line, near the audience. + +At precisely 10 a.m., General Wingrove stepped forward and scowled at +the crowd until they settled into an uncomfortable silence. His speech +was short and consisted of nothing more than amplifications of his +opening statement that actions speak louder than words. He pointed to +the first truck in line, a 2-1/2-ton filled with an infantry squad +sitting stiffly at attention. + +The driver caught the signal and kicked the engine into life; with a +grind of gears it moved forward toward the river's edge. There was an +indrawn gasp from the crowd as the front wheels ground over the marble +parapet--then the truck was plunging down toward the muddy waters of the +Potomac. + +The wheels touched the water and the surface seemed to sink while taking +on a strange glassy character. The truck roared into high gear and rode +forward on the surface of the water surrounded by a saucer-shaped +depression. It parked two hundred yards off shore and the soldiers, +goaded by the sergeant's bark, leapt out and lined up with a showy +_present arms_. + +The general returned the salute and waved to the remaining vehicles. +They moved forward in a series of maneuvers that indicated a great +number of rehearsal hours on some hidden pond. The tanks rumbled slowly +over the water while the jeeps cut back and forth through their lines in +intricate patterns. The trucks backed and turned like puffing +ballerinas. + +The audience was rooted in a hushed silence, their eyeballs bulging. +They continued to watch the amazing display as General Wingrove spoke +again: + +"You see before you a typical example of Army ingenuity, developed in +Army laboratories. These motor units are supported on the surface of the +water by an intensifying of the surface tension in their immediate area. +Their weight is evenly distributed over the surface, causing the shallow +depressions you see around them. + +"This remarkable feat has been accomplished by the use of the +_Dornifier_. A remarkable invention that is named after that brilliant +scientist, Colonel Robert A. Dorn, Commander of the Brooke Point +Experimental Laboratory. It was there that one of the civilian employees +discovered the Dorn effect--under the Colonel's constant guidance, of +course. + +"Utilizing this invention the Army now becomes master of the sea as well +as the land. Army convoys of trucks and tanks can blanket the world. The +surface of the water is our highway, our motor park, our +battleground--the airfield and runway for our planes." + +Mechanics were pushing a Shooting Star onto the water. They stepped +clear as flame gushed from the tail pipe; with the familiar whooshing +rumble it sped down the Potomac and hurled itself into the air. + +"When this cheap and simple method of crossing oceans is adopted, it +will of course mean the end of that fantastic medieval anachronism, the +Navy. No need for billion-dollar aircraft carriers, battleships, +drydocks and all the other cumbersome junk that keeps those boats and +things afloat. Give the taxpayer back his hard-earned dollar!" + +Teeth grated in the Naval section as carriers and battleships were +called "boats" and the rest of America's sea might lumped under the +casual heading of "things." Lips were curled at the transparent appeal +to the taxpayer's pocketbook. But with leaden hearts they knew that all +this justified wrath and contempt would avail them nothing. This was +Army Day with a vengeance, and the doom of the Navy seemed inescapable. + +The Army had made elaborate plans for what they called "Operation +Sinker." Even as the general spoke the publicity mills ground into high +gear. From coast to coast the citizens absorbed the news with their +morning nourishment. + +"... Agnes, you hear what the radio said! The Army's gonna give a trip +around the world in a B-36 as first prize in this limerick contest. All +you have to do is fill in the last line, and mail one copy to the +Pentagon and the other to the Navy ..." + +The Naval mail room had standing orders to burn all the limericks when +they came in, but some of the newer men seemed to think the entire thing +was a big joke. Commander Bullman found one in the mess hall: + + _The Army will always be there, + On the land, on the sea, in the air. + So why should the Navy + Take all of the gravy ..._ + +to which a seagoing scribe had added: + + _And not give us ensigns our share?_ + +The newspapers were filled daily with photographs of mighty B-36's +landing on Lake Erie, and grinning soldiers making mock beachhead +attacks on Coney Island. Each man wore a buzzing black box at his waist +and walked on the bosom of the now quiet Atlantic like a biblical +prophet. + +Radio and television also carried the thousands of news releases that +poured in an unending flow from the Pentagon Building. Cards, letters, +telegrams and packages descended on Washington in an overwhelming +torrent. The Navy Department was the unhappy recipient of deprecatory +letters and a vast quantity of little cardboard battleships. + +The people spoke and their representatives listened closely. This was an +election year. There didn't seem to be much doubt as to the decision, +particularly when the reduction in the budget was considered. + +It took Congress only two months to make up its collective mind. The +people were all pro-Army. The novelty of the idea had fired their +imaginations. + +They were about to take the final vote in the lower house. If the +amendment passed it would go to the states for ratification, and their +votes were certain to follow that of Congress. The Navy had fought a +last-ditch battle to no avail. The balloting was going to be pretty much +of a sure thing--the wet water Navy would soon become ancient history. + +For some reason the admirals didn't look as unhappy as they should. + + * * * * * + +The Naval Department had requested one last opportunity to address the +Congress. Congress had patronizingly granted permission, for even the +doomed man is allowed one last speech. Admiral Fitzjames, who had +recovered from his choleric attack, was the appointed speaker. + +"Gentlemen of the Congress of the United States. We in the Navy have a +fighting tradition. We 'damn the torpedoes' and sail straight ahead into +the enemy's fire if that is necessary. We have been stabbed in the +back--we have suffered a second Pearl Harbor sneak attack! The Army +relinquished its rights to fair treatment with this attack. Therefore we +are _counter-attacking_!" Worn out by his attacking and mixed metaphors, +the Admiral mopped his brow. + +"Our laboratories have been working night and day on the perfection of a +device we hoped we would never be forced to use. It is now in operation, +having passed the final trials a few days ago. + +"The significance of this device _cannot_ be underestimated. We are so +positive of its importance that--we are _demanding_ that the _Army_ be +abolished!" + +He waved his hand toward the window and bellowed one word. + +"LOOK!" + +Everyone looked. They blinked and looked again. They rubbed their eyes +and kept looking. + +Sailing majestically up the middle of Constitution Avenue was the +battleship Missouri. + +The Admiral's voice rang through the room like a trumpet of victory. + +"The Mark-1 Debinder, as you see, temporarily lessens the binding +energies that hold molecules of solid matter together. Solids become +liquids, and a ship equipped with this device can sail anywhere in the +world--on sea _or_ land. Take your vote, gentlemen; the world awaits +your decision." + + ... THE END + + + + +Transcriber's Note: + + This etext was produced from _If Worlds of Science Fiction_ January + 1954. Extensive research did not uncover any evidence that the U.S. + copyright on this publication was renewed. Minor spelling and + typographical errors have been corrected without note. + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Navy Day, by Harry Harrison + +*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK NAVY DAY *** + +***** This file should be named 30019.txt or 30019.zip ***** +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: + http://www.gutenberg.org/3/0/0/1/30019/ + +Produced by Greg Weeks, Stephen Blundell and the Online +Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net + + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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