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diff --git a/.gitattributes b/.gitattributes new file mode 100644 index 0000000..6833f05 --- /dev/null +++ b/.gitattributes @@ -0,0 +1,3 @@ +* text=auto +*.txt text +*.md text diff --git a/1813-0.txt b/1813-0.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..810b9e3 --- /dev/null +++ b/1813-0.txt @@ -0,0 +1,1384 @@ +The Project Gutenberg EBook of A Man of Business, by Honore de Balzac + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: A Man of Business + +Author: Honore de Balzac + +Translator: Clara Bell and Others + +Release Date: July, 1999 [Etext #1813] +Posting Date: March 2, 2010 +Last Updated: November 22, 2016 + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: UTF-8 + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK A MAN OF BUSINESS *** + + + + +Produced by John Bickers, and Dagny + + + + + +A MAN OF BUSINESS + + +By Honore De Balzac + + + +Translated by Clara Bell and Others + + + + + DEDICATION + + To Monsieur le Baron James de Rothschild, Banker and + Austrian Consul-General at Paris. + + + + +A MAN OF BUSINESS + + +The word _lorette_ is a euphemism invented to describe the status of a +personage, or a personage of a status, of which it is awkward to +speak; the French Academie, in its modesty, having omitted to supply a +definition out of regard for the age of its forty members. Whenever a +new word comes to supply the place of an unwieldy circumlocution, its +fortune is assured; the word _lorette_ has passed into the language of +every class of society, even where the lorette herself will never gain +an entrance. It was only invented in 1840, and derived beyond a doubt +from the agglomeration of such swallows’ nests about the Church of +Our Lady of Loretto. This information is for etymoligists only. Those +gentlemen would not be so often in a quandary if mediaeval writers had +only taken such pains with details of contemporary manners as we take in +these days of analysis and description. + +Mlle. Turquet, or Malaga, for she is better known by her pseudonym (See +_La fausse Maitresse_.), was one of the earliest parishioners of +that charming church. At the time to which this story belongs, that +lighthearted and lively damsel gladdened the existence of a notary with +a wife somewhat too bigoted, rigid, and frigid for domestic happiness. + +Now, it so fell out that one Carnival evening Maitre Cardot was +entertaining guests at Mlle. Turquet’s house--Desroches the attorney, +Bixiou of the caricatures, Lousteau the journalist, Nathan, and others; +it is quite unnecessary to give any further description of these +personages, all bearers of illustrious names in the _Comedie Humaine_. +Young La Palferine, in spite of his title of Count and his great +descent, which, alas! means a great descent in fortune likewise, had +honored the notary’s little establishment with his presence. + +At dinner, in such a house, one does not expect to meet the patriarchal +beef, the skinny fowl and salad of domestic and family life, nor is +there any attempt at the hypocritical conversation of drawing-rooms +furnished with highly respectable matrons. When, alas! will +respectability be charming? When will the women in good society +vouchsafe to show rather less of their shoulders and rather more wit or +geniality? Marguerite Turquet, the Aspasia of the Cirque-Olympique, is +one of those frank, very living personalities to whom all is forgiven, +such unconscious sinners are they, such intelligent penitents; of such +as Malaga one might ask, like Cardot--a witty man enough, albeit a +notary--to be well “deceived.” And yet you must not think that any +enormities were committed. Desroches and Cardot were good fellows grown +too gray in the profession not to feel at ease with Bixiou, Lousteau, +Nathan, and young La Palferine. And they on their side had too often had +recourse to their legal advisers, and knew them too well to try to “draw +them out,” in lorette language. + +Conversation, perfumed with seven cigars, at first was as fantastic as +a kid let loose, but finally it settled down upon the strategy of the +constant war waged in Paris between creditors and debtors. + +Now, if you will be so good as to recall the history and antecedents of +the guests, you will know that in all Paris, you could scarcely find a +group of men with more experience in this matter; the professional +men on one hand, and the artists on the other, were something in the +position of magistrates and criminals hobnobbing together. A set of +Bixiou’s drawings to illustrate life in the debtors’ prison, led the +conversation to take this particular turn; and from debtors’ prisons +they went to debts. + +It was midnight. They had broken up into little knots round the table +and before the fire, and gave themselves up to the burlesque fun which +is only possible or comprehensible in Paris and in that particular +region which is bounded by the Faubourg Montmartre, the Rue Chaussee +d’Antin, the upper end of the Rue de Navarin and the line of the +boulevards. + +In ten minutes’ time they had come to an end of all the deep +reflections, all the moralizings, small and great, all the bad puns made +on a subject already exhausted by Rabelais three hundred and fifty years +ago. It was not a little to their credit that the pyrotechnic display +was cut short with a final squib from Malaga. + +“It all goes to the shoemakers,” she said. “I left a milliner because +she failed twice with my hats. The vixen has been here twenty-seven +times to ask for twenty francs. She did not know that we never have +twenty francs. One has a thousand francs, or one sends to one’s notary +for five hundred; but twenty francs I have never had in my life. My +cook and my maid may, perhaps, have so much between them; but for my +own part, I have nothing but credit, and I should lose that if I took to +borrowing small sums. If I were to ask for twenty francs, I should have +nothing to distinguish me from my colleagues that walk the boulevard.” + +“Is the milliner paid?” asked La Palferine. + +“Oh, come now, are you turning stupid?” said she, with a wink. “She came +this morning for the twenty-seventh time, that is how I came to mention +it.” + +“What did you do?” asked Desroches. + +“I took pity upon her, and--ordered a little hat that I have just +invented, a quite new shape. If Mlle. Amanda succeeds with it, she will +say no more about the money, her fortune is made.” + +“In my opinion,” put in Desroches, “the finest things that I have seen +in a duel of this kind give those who know Paris a far better picture of +the city than all the fancy portraits that they paint. Some of you think +that you know a thing or two,” he continued, glancing round at Nathan, +Bixiou, La Palferine, and Lousteau, “but the king of the ground is a +certain Count, now busy ranging himself. In his time, he was supposed +to be the cleverest, adroitest, canniest, boldest, stoutest, most subtle +and experienced of all the pirates, who, equipped with fine manners, +yellow kid gloves, and cabs, have ever sailed or ever will sail upon +the stormy seas of Paris. He fears neither God nor man. He applies in +private life the principles that guide the English Cabinet. Up to the +time of his marriage, his life was one continual war, like--Lousteau’s, +for instance. I was, and am still his solicitor.” + +“And the first letter of his name is Maxime de Trailles,” said La +Palferine. + +“For that matter, he has paid every one, and injured no one,” continued +Desroches. “But as your friend Bixiou was saying just now, it is a +violation of the liberty of the subject to be made to pay in March when +you have no mind to pay till October. By virtue of this article of his +particular code, Maxime regarded a creditor’s scheme for making him pay +at once as a swindler’s trick. It was a long time since he had grasped +the significance of the bill of exchange in all its bearings, direct +and remote. A young man once, in my place, called a bill of exchange +the ‘asses’ bridge’ in his hearing. ‘No,’ said he, ‘it is the Bridge of +Sighs; it is the shortest way to an execution.’ Indeed, his knowledge +of commercial law was so complete, that a professional could not have +taught him anything. At that time he had nothing, as you know. His +carriage and horses were jobbed; he lived in his valet’s house; and, by +the way, he will be a hero to his valet to the end of the chapter, even +after the marriage that he proposes to make. He belonged to three clubs, +and dined at one of them whenever he did not dine out. As a rule, he was +to be found very seldom at his own address--” + +“He once said to me,” interrupted La Palferine, “‘My one affectation is +the pretence that I make of living in the Rue Pigalle.’” + +“Well,” resumed Desroches, “he was one of the combatants; and now for +the other. You have heard more or less talk of one Claparon?” + +“Had hair like this!” cried Bixiou, ruffling his locks till they stood +on end. Gifted with the same talent for mimicking absurdities which +Chopin the pianist possesses to so high a degree, he proceeded forthwith +to represent the character with startling truth. + +“He rolls his head like this when he speaks; he was once a commercial +traveler; he has been all sorts of things--” + +“Well, he was born to travel, for at this minute, as I speak, he is on +the sea on his way to America,” said Desroches. “It is his only chance, +for in all probability he will be condemned by default as a fraudulent +bankrupt next session.” + +“Very much at sea!” exclaimed Malaga. + +“For six or seven years this Claparon acted as man of straw, cat’s paw, +and scapegoat to two friends of ours, du Tillet and Nucingen; but in +1829 his part was so well known that--” + +“Our friends dropped him,” put in Bixiou. + +“They left him to his fate at last, and he wallowed in the mire,” + continued Desroches. “In 1833 he went into partnership with one +Cerizet--” + +“What! he that promoted a joint-stock company so nicely that the Sixth +Chamber cut short his career with a couple of years in jail?” asked the +lorette. + +“The same. Under the Restoration, between 1823 and 1827, Cerizet’s +occupation consisted in first putting his name intrepidly to various +paragraphs, on which the public prosecutor fastened with avidity, and +subsequently marching off to prison. A man could make a name for +himself with small expense in those days. The Liberal party called their +provincial champion ‘the courageous Cerizet,’ and towards 1828 so much +zeal received its reward in ‘general interest.’ + +“‘General interest’ is a kind of civic crown bestowed on the deserving +by the daily press. Cerizet tried to discount the ‘general interest’ +taken in him. He came to Paris, and, with some help from capitalists in +the Opposition, started as a broker, and conducted financial operations +to some extent, the capital being found by a man in hiding, a skilful +gambler who overreached himself, and in consequence, in July 1830, his +capital foundered in the shipwreck of the Government.” + +“Oh! it was he whom we used to call the System,” cried Bixiou. + +“Say no harm of him, poor fellow,” protested Malaga. “D’Estourny was a +good sort.” + +“You can imagine the part that a ruined man was sure to play in 1830 +when his name in politics was ‘the courageous Cerizet.’ He was sent off +into a very snug little sub-prefecture. Unluckily for him, it is one +thing to be in opposition--any missile is good enough to throw, so long +as the flight lasts; but quite another to be in office. Three months +later, he was obliged to send in his resignation. Had he not taken +it into his head to attempt to win popularity? Still, as he had done +nothing as yet to imperil his title of ‘courageous Cerizet,’ the +Government proposed by way of compensation that he should manage a +newspaper; nominally an Opposition newspaper, but Ministerialist +_in petto_. So the fall of this noble nature was really due to the +Government. To Cerizet, as manager of the paper, it was rather too +evident that he was as a bird perched on a rotten bough; and then it +was that he promoted that nice little joint-stock company, and thereby +secured a couple of years in prison; he was caught, while more ingenious +swindlers succeeded in catching the public.” + +“We are acquainted with the more ingenious,” said Bixiou; “let us say no +ill of the poor fellow; he was nabbed; Couture allowed them to squeeze +his cash-box; who would ever have thought it of him?” + +“At all events, Cerizet was a low sort of fellow, a good deal damaged by +low debauchery. Now for the duel I spoke about. Never did two tradesmen +of the worst type, with the worst manners, the lowest pair of +villains imaginable, go into partnership in a dirtier business. Their +stock-in-trade consisted of the peculiar idiom of the man about town, +the audacity of poverty, the cunning that comes of experience, and a +special knowledge of Parisian capitalists, their origin, connections, +acquaintances, and intrinsic value. This partnership of two ‘dabblers’ +(let the Stock Exchange term pass, for it is the only word which +describes them), this partnership of dabblers did not last very long. +They fought like famished curs over every bit of garbage. + +“The earlier speculations of the firm of Cerizet and Claparon were, +however, well planned. The two scamps joined forces with Barbet, +Chaboisseau, Samanon, and usurers of that stamp, and bought up +hopelessly bad debts. + +“Claparon’s place of business at that time was a cramped entresol in the +Rue Chabannais--five rooms at a rent of seven hundred francs at +most. Each partner slept in a little closet, so carefully closed from +prudence, that my head-clerk could never get inside. The furniture of +the other three rooms--an ante-chamber, a waiting-room, and a private +office--would not have fetched three hundred francs altogether at a +distress-warrant sale. You know enough of Paris to know the look of +it; the stuffed horsehair-covered chairs, a table covered with a green +cloth, a trumpery clock between a couple of candle sconces, growing +tarnished under glass shades, the small gilt-framed mirror over the +chimney-piece, and in the grate a charred stick or two of firewood which +had lasted them for two winters, as my head-clerk put it. As for the +office, you can guess what it was like--more letter-files than business +letters, a set of common pigeon-holes for either partner, a cylinder +desk, empty as the cash-box, in the middle of the room, and a couple +of armchairs on either side of a coal fire. The carpet on the floor was +bought cheap at second-hand (like the bills and bad debts). In short, +it was the mahogany furniture of furnished apartments which usually +descends from one occupant of chambers to another during fifty years of +service. Now you know the pair of antagonists. + +“During the first three months of a partnership dissolved four months +later in a bout of fisticuffs, Cerizet and Claparon bought up two +thousand francs’ worth of bills bearing Maxime’s signature (since +Maxime was his name), and filled a couple of letters to bursting with +judgments, appeals, orders of the court, distress-warrants, application +for stay of proceedings, and all the rest of it; to put it briefly, they +had bills for three thousand two hundred francs odd centimes, for +which they had given five hundred francs; the transfer being made under +private seal, with special power of attorney, to save the expense of +registration. Now it so happened at this juncture, Maxime, being of ripe +age, was seized with one of the fancies peculiar to the man of fifty--” + +“Antonia!” exclaimed La Palferine. “That Antonia whose fortune I made by +writing to ask for a toothbrush!” + +“Her real name is Chocardelle,” said Malaga, not over well pleased by +the fine-sounding pseudonym. + +“The same,” continued Desroches. + +“It was the only mistake Maxime ever made in his life. But what would +you have, no vice is absolutely perfect?” put in Bixiou. + +“Maxime had still to learn what sort of a life a man may be led into by +a girl of eighteen when she is minded to take a header from her honest +garret into a sumptuous carriage; it is a lesson that all statesmen +should take to heart. At this time, de Marsay had just been employing +his friend, our friend de Trailles, in the high comedy of politics. +Maxime had looked high for his conquests; he had no experience of +untitled women; and at fifty years he felt that he had a right to take a +bite of the so-called wild fruit, much as a sportsman will halt under +a peasant’s apple-tree. So the Count found a reading-room for Mlle. +Chocardelle, a rather smart little place to be had cheap, as usual--” + +“Pooh!” said Nathan. “She did not stay in it six months. She was too +handsome to keep a reading-room.” + +“Perhaps you are the father of her child?” suggested the lorette. + +Desroches resumed. + +“Since the firm bought up Maxime’s debts, Cerizet’s likeness to a +bailiff’s officer grew more and more striking, and one morning after +seven fruitless attempts he succeeded in penetrating into the Count’s +presence. Suzon, the old man-servant, albeit he was by no means in his +novitiate, at last mistook the visitor for a petitioner, come to propose +a thousand crowns if Maxime would obtain a license to sell postage +stamps for a young lady. Suzon, without the slightest suspicion of the +little scamp, a thoroughbred Paris street-boy into whom prudence had +been rubbed by repeated personal experience of the police-courts, +induced his master to receive him. Can you see the man of business, +with an uneasy eye, a bald forehead, and scarcely any hair on his head, +standing in his threadbare jacket and muddy boots--” + +“What a picture of a Dun!” cried Lousteau. + +“--standing before the Count, that image of flaunting Debt, in his +blue flannel dressing-gown, slippers worked by some Marquise or other, +trousers of white woolen stuff, and a dazzling shirt? There he stood, +with a gorgeous cap on his black dyed hair, playing with the tassels at +his waist--” + +“‘Tis a bit of genre for anybody who knows what the pretty little +morning room, hung with silk and full of valuable paintings, where +Maxime breakfasts,” said Nathan. “You tread on a Smyrna carpet, you +admire the sideboards filled with curiosities and rarities fit to make a +King of Saxony envious--” + +“Now for the scene itself,” said Desroches, and the deepest silence +followed. + +“‘Monsieur le Comte,’ began Cerizet, ‘I have come from a M. Charles +Claparon, who used to be a banker--’ + +“‘Ah! poor devil, and what does he want with me?’ + +“‘Well, he is at present your creditor for a matter of three thousand +two hundred francs, seventy-five centimes, principal, interest, and +costs--’ + +“‘Coutelier’s business?’ put in Maxime, who knew his affairs as a pilot +knows his coast. + +“‘Yes, Monsieur le Comte,’ said Cerizet with a bow. ‘I have come to ask +your intentions.’ + +“‘I shall only pay when the fancy takes me,’ returned Maxime, and he +rang for Suzon. ‘It was very rash of Claparon to buy up bills of mine +without speaking to me beforehand. I am sorry for him, for he did so +very well for such a long time as a man of straw for friends of mine. I +always said that a man must really be weak in his intellect to work for +men that stuff themselves with millions, and to serve them so faithfully +for such low wages. And now here he gives me another proof of his +stupidity! Yes, men deserve what they get. It is your own doing whether +you get a crown on your forehead or a bullet through your head; whether +you are a millionaire or a porter, justice is always done you. I +cannot help it, my dear fellow; I myself am not a king, I stick to my +principles. I have no pity for those that put me to expense or do +not know their business as creditors.--Suzon! my tea! Do you see this +gentleman?’ he continued when the man came in. ‘Well, you have allowed +yourself to be taken in, poor old boy. This gentleman is a creditor; +you ought to have known him by his boots. No friend nor foe of mine, +nor those that are neither and want something of me, come to see me on +foot.--My dear M. Cerizet, do you understand? You will not wipe your +boots on my carpet again’ (looking as he spoke at the mud that whitened +the enemy’s soles). ‘Convey my compliments and sympathy to Claparon, +poor buffer, for I shall file this business under the letter Z.’ + +“All this with an easy good-humor fit to give a virtuous citizen the +colic. + +“‘You are wrong, Monsieur le Comte,’ retorted Cerizet, in a slightly +peremptory tone. ‘We will be paid in full, and that in a way which you +may not like. That is why I came to you first in a friendly spirit, as +is right and fit between gentlemen--’ + +“‘Oh! so that is how you understand it?’ began Maxime, enraged by this +last piece of presumption. There was something of Talleyrand’s wit in +the insolent retort, if you have quite grasped the contrast between +the two men and their costumes. Maxime scowled and looked full at the +intruder; Cerizet not merely endured the glare of cold fury, but even +returned it, with an icy, cat-like malignance and fixity of gaze. + +“‘Very good, sir, go out--’ + +“‘Very well, good-day, Monsieur le Comte. We shall be quits before six +months are out.’ + +“‘If you can steal the amount of your bill, which is legally due I own, +I shall be indebted to you, sir,’ replied Maxime. ‘You will have taught +me a new precaution to take. I am very much your servant.’ + +“‘Monsieur le Comte,’ said Cerizet, ‘it is I, on the contrary, who am +yours.’ + +“Here was an explicit, forcible, confident declaration on either side. +A couple of tigers confabulating, with the prey before them, and a fight +impending, would have been no finer and no shrewder than this pair; the +insolent fine gentleman as great a blackguard as the other in his soiled +and mud-stained clothes. + +“Which will you lay your money on?” asked Desroches, looking round at an +audience, surprised to find how deeply it was interested. + +“A pretty story!” cried Malaga. “My dear boy, go on, I beg of you. This +goes to one’s heart.” + +“Nothing commonplace could happen between two fighting-cocks of that +calibre,” added La Palferine. + +“Pooh!” cried Malaga. “I will wager my cabinet-maker’s invoice (the +fellow is dunning me) that the little toad was too many for Maxime.” + +“I bet on Maxime,” said Cardot. “Nobody ever caught him napping.” + +Desroches drank off a glass that Malaga handed to him. + +“Mlle. Chocardelle’s reading-room,” he continued, after a pause, “was in +the Rue Coquenard, just a step or two from the Rue Pigalle where Maxime +was living. The said Mlle. Chocardelle lived at the back on the garden +side of the house, beyond a big dark place where the books were kept. +Antonia left her aunt to look after the business--” + +“Had she an aunt even then?” exclaimed Malaga. “Hang it all, Maxime did +things handsomely.” + +“Alas! it was a real aunt,” said Desroches; “her name was--let me +see----” + +“Ida Bonamy,” said Bixiou. + +“So as Antonia’s aunt took a good deal of the work off her hands, she +went to bed late and lay late of a morning, never showing her face at +the desk until the afternoon, some time between two and four. From the +very first her appearance was enough to draw custom. Several elderly +men in the quarter used to come, among them a retired coach-builder, +one Croizeau. Beholding this miracle of female loveliness through the +window-panes, he took it into his head to read the newspapers in the +beauty’s reading-room; and a sometime custom-house officer, named +Denisart, with a ribbon in his button-hole, followed the example. +Croizeau chose to look upon Denisart as a rival. ‘_Monsieur_,’ he said +afterwards, ‘I did not know what to buy for you!’ + +“That speech should give you an idea of the man. The Sieur Croizeau +happens to belong to a particular class of old man which should be known +as ‘Coquerels’ since Henri Monnier’s time; so well did Monnier render +the piping voice, the little mannerisms, little queue, little sprinkling +of powder, little movements of the head, prim little manner, and +tripping gait in the part of Coquerel in _La Famille Improvisee_. This +Croizeau used to hand over his halfpence with a flourish and a ‘There, +fair lady!’ + +“Mme. Ida Bonamy the aunt was not long in finding out through a servant +that Croizeau, by popular report of the neighborhood of the Rue de +Buffault, where he lived, was a man of exceeding stinginess, possessed +of forty thousand francs per annum. A week after the instalment of the +charming librarian he was delivered of a pun: + +“‘You lend me books (livres), but I give you plenty of francs in +return,’ said he. + +“A few days later he put on a knowing little air, as much as to say, ‘I +know you are engaged, but my turn will come one day; I am a widower.’ + +“He always came arrayed in fine linen, a cornflower blue coat, a +paduasoy waistcoat, black trousers, and black ribbon bows on the double +soled shoes that creaked like an abbe’s; he always held a fourteen franc +silk hat in his hand. + +“‘I am old and I have no children,’ he took occasion to confide to the +young lady some few days after Cerizet’s visit to Maxime. ‘I hold my +relations in horror. They are peasants born to work in the fields. Just +imagine it, I came up from the country with six francs in my pocket, and +made my fortune here. I am not proud. A pretty woman is my equal. Now +would it not be nicer to be Mme. Croizeau for some years to come than +to do a Count’s pleasure for a twelvemonth? He will go off and leave +you some time or other; and when that day comes, you will think of me... +your servant, my pretty lady!’ + +“All this was simmering below the surface. The slightest approach at +love-making was made quite on the sly. Not a soul suspected that the +trim little old fogy was smitten with Antonia; and so prudent was +the elderly lover, that no rival could have guessed anything from his +behavior in the reading-room. For a couple of months Croizeau watched +the retired custom-house official; but before the third month was out +he had good reason to believe that his suspicions were groundless. He +exerted his ingenuity to scrape an acquaintance with Denisart, came up +with him in the street, and at length seized his opportunity to remark, +‘It is a fine day, sir!’ + +“Whereupon the retired official responded with, ‘Austerlitz weather, +sir. I was there myself--I was wounded indeed, I won my Cross on that +glorious day.’ + +“And so from one thing to another the two drifted wrecks of the Empire +struck up an acquaintance. Little Croizeau was attached to the Empire +through his connection with Napoleon’s sisters. He had been their +coach-builder, and had frequently dunned them for money; so he gave +out that he ‘had had relations with the Imperial family.’ Maxime, duly +informed by Antonia of the ‘nice old man’s’ proposals (for so the aunt +called Croizeau), wished to see him. Cerizet’s declaration of war had +so far taken effect that he of the yellow kid gloves was studying the +position of every piece, however insignificant, upon the board; and +it so happened that at the mention of that ‘nice old man,’ an ominous +tinkling sounded in his ears. One evening, therefore, Maxime seated +himself among the book-shelves in the dimly lighted back room, +reconnoitred the seven or eight customers through the chink between the +green curtains, and took the little coach-builder’s measure. He gauged +the man’s infatuation, and was very well satisfied to find that the +varnished doors of a tolerably sumptuous future were ready to turn at a +word from Antonia so soon as his own fancy had passed off. + +“‘And that other one yonder?’ asked he, pointing out the stout +fine-looking elderly man with the Cross of the Legion of Honor. ‘Who is +he?’ + +“‘A retired custom-house officer.’ + +“‘The cut of his countenance is not reassuring,’ said Maxime, beholding +the Sieur Denisart. + +“And indeed the old soldier held himself upright as a steeple. His head +was remarkable for the amount of powder and pomatum bestowed upon it; he +looked almost like a postilion at a fancy ball. Underneath that felted +covering, moulded to the top of the wearer’s cranium, appeared an +elderly profile, half-official, half-soldierly, with a comical +admixture of arrogance,--altogether something like caricatures of +the _Constitutionnel_. The sometime official finding that age, and +hair-powder, and the conformation of his spine made it impossible to +read a word without spectacles, sat displaying a very creditable expanse +of chest with all the pride of an old man with a mistress. Like old +General Montcornet, that pillar of the Vaudeville, he wore earrings. +Denisart was partial to blue; his roomy trousers and well-worn greatcoat +were both of blue cloth. + +“‘How long is it since that old fogy came here?’ inquired Maxime, +thinking that he saw danger in the spectacles. + +“‘Oh, from the beginning,’ returned Antonia, ‘pretty nearly two months +ago now.’ + +“‘Good,” said Maxime to himself, ‘Cerizet only came to me a month +ago.--Just get him to talk,’ he added in Antonia’s ear; ‘I want to hear +his voice.’ + +“‘Pshaw,’ said she, ‘that is not so easy. He never says a word to me.’ + +“‘Then why does he come here?’ demanded Maxime. + +“‘For a queer reason,’ returned the fair Antonia. ‘In the first place, +although he is sixty-nine, he has a fancy; and because he is sixty-nine, +he is as methodical as a clock face. Every day at five o’clock the old +gentleman goes to dine with _her_ in the Rue de la Victoire. (I am sorry +for her.) Then at six o’clock, he comes here, reads steadily at the +papers for four hours, and goes back at ten o’clock. Daddy Croizeau says +that he knows M. Denisart’s motives, and approves his conduct; and in +his place, he would do the same. So I know exactly what to expect. If +ever I am Mme. Croizeau, I shall have four hours to myself between six +and ten o’clock.’ + +“Maxime looked through the directory, and found the following reassuring +item: + + “DENISART,* retired custom-house officer, Rue de la Victoire. + +“His uneasiness vanished. + +“Gradually the Sieur Denisart and the Sieur Croizeau began to exchange +confidences. Nothing so binds two men together as a similarity of +views in the matter of womankind. Daddy Croizeau went to dine with ‘M. +Denisart’s fair lady,’ as he called her. And here I must make a somewhat +important observation. + +“The reading-room had been paid for half in cash, half in bills signed +by the said Mlle. Chocardelle. The _quart d’heure de Rabelais_ arrived; +the Count had no money. So the first bill of three thousand francs was +met by the amiable coach-builder; that old scoundrel Denisart having +recommended him to secure himself with a mortgage on the reading-room. + +“‘For my own part,’ said Denisart, ‘I have seen pretty doings from +pretty women. So in all cases, even when I have lost my head, I am +always on my guard with a woman. There is this creature, for instance; I +am madly in love with her; but this is not her furniture; no, it belongs +to me. The lease is taken out in my name.’ + +“You know Maxime! He thought the coach-builder uncommonly green. +Croizeau might pay all three bills, and get nothing for a long while; +for Maxime felt more infatuated with Antonia than ever.” + +“I can well believe it,” said La Palferine. “She is the _bella Imperia_ +of our day.” + +“With her rough skin!” exclaimed Malaga; “so rough, that she ruins +herself in bran baths!” + +“Croizeau spoke with a coach-builder’s admiration of the sumptuous +furniture provided by the amorous Denisart as a setting for his fair +one, describing it all in detail with diabolical complacency for +Antonia’s benefit,” continued Desroches. “The ebony chests inlaid +with mother-of-pearl and gold wire, the Brussels carpets, a mediaeval +bedstead worth three thousand francs, a Boule clock, candelabra in +the four corners of the dining-room, silk curtains, on which Chinese +patience had wrought pictures of birds, and hangings over the doors, +worth more than the portress that opened them. + +“‘And that is what _you_ ought to have, my pretty lady.--And that is +what I should like to offer you,’ he would conclude. ‘I am quite aware +that you scarcely care a bit about me; but, at my age, we cannot expect +too much. Judge how much I love you; I have lent you a thousand francs. +I must confess that, in all my born days, I have not lent anybody _that_ +much----’ + +“He held out his penny as he spoke, with the important air of a man that +gives a learned demonstration. + +“That evening at the Varietes, Antonia spoke to the Count. + +“‘A reading-room is very dull, all the same,’ said she; ‘I feel that I +have no sort of taste for that kind of life, and I see no future in it. +It is only fit for a widow that wishes to keep body and soul together, +or for some hideously ugly thing that fancies she can catch a husband +with a little finery.’ + +“‘It was your own choice,’ returned the Count. Just at that moment, in +came Nucingen, of whom Maxime, king of lions (the ‘yellow kid gloves’ +were the lions of that day) had won three thousand francs the evening +before. Nucingen had come to pay his gaming debt. + +“‘Ein writ of attachment haf shoost peen served on me by der order of +dot teufel Glabaron,’ he said, seeing Maxime’s astonishment. + +“‘Oh, so that is how they are going to work, is it?’ cried Maxime. ‘They +are not up to much, that pair--’ + +“‘It makes not,’ said the banker, ‘bay dem, for dey may apply demselfs +to oders pesides, und do you harm. I dake dees bretty voman to vitness +dot I haf baid you dees morning, long pefore dat writ vas serfed.’” + +“Queen of the boards,” smiled La Palferine, looking at Malaga, “thou art +about to lose thy bet.” + +“Once, a long time ago, in a similar case,” resumed Desroches, “a too +honest debtor took fright at the idea of a solemn declaration in a court +of law, and declined to pay Maxime after notice was given. That time we +made it hot for the creditor by piling on writs of attachment, so as to +absorb the whole amount in costs--” + +“Oh, what is that?” cried Malaga; “it all sounds like gibberish to me. +As you thought the sturgeon so excellent at dinner, let me take out the +value of the sauce in lessons in chicanery.” + +“Very well,” said Desroches. “Suppose that a man owes you money, and +your creditors serve a writ of attachment upon him; there is nothing to +prevent all your other creditors from doing the same thing. And now what +does the court do when all the creditors make application for orders to +pay? _The court divides the whole sum attached, proportionately among +them all._ That division, made under the eye of a magistrate, is what +we call a _contribution_. If you owe ten thousand francs, and your +creditors issue writs of attachment on a debt due to you of a thousand +francs, each one of them gets so much per cent, ‘so much in the pound,’ +in legal phrase; so much (that means) in proportion to the amounts +severally claimed by the creditors. But--the creditors cannot touch the +money without a special order from the clerk of the court. Do you guess +what all this work drawn up by a judge and prepared by attorneys must +mean? It means a quantity of stamped paper full of diffuse lines and +blanks, the figures almost lost in vast spaces of completely empty ruled +columns. The first proceeding is to deduct the costs. Now, as the costs +are precisely the same whether the amount attached is one thousand or +one million francs, it is not difficult to eat up three thousand francs +(for instance) in costs, especially if you can manage to raise counter +applications.” + +“And an attorney always manages to do it,” said Cardot. “How many a +time one of you has come to me with, ‘What is there to be got out of the +case?’” + +“It is particularly easy to manage it if the debtor eggs you on to +run up costs till they eat up the amount. And, as a rule, the Count’s +creditors took nothing by that move, and were out of pocket in law and +personal expenses. To get money out of so experienced a debtor as the +Count, a creditor should really be in a position uncommonly difficult to +reach; it is a question of being creditor and debtor both, for then you +are legally entitled to work the confusion of rights, in law language--” + +“To the confusion of the debtor?” asked Malaga, lending an attentive ear +to this discourse. + +“No, the confusion of rights of debtor and creditor, and pay yourself +through your own hands. So Claparon’s innocence in merely issuing writs +of attachment eased the Count’s mind. As he came back from the Varietes +with Antonia, he was so much the more taken with the idea of selling +the reading-room to pay off the last two thousand francs of the +purchase-money, because he did not care to have his name made public +as a partner in such a concern. So he adopted Antonia’s plan. Antonia +wished to reach the higher ranks of her calling, with splendid rooms, +a maid, and a carriage; in short, she wanted to rival our charming +hostess, for instance--” + +“She was not woman enough for that,” cried the famous beauty of the +Circus; “still, she ruined young d’Esgrignon very neatly.” + +“Ten days afterwards, little Croizeau, perched on his dignity, said +almost exactly the same thing, for the fair Antonia’s benefit,” + continued Desroches. + +“‘Child,’ said he, ‘your reading-room is a hole of a place. You will +lose your complexion; the gas will ruin your eyesight. You ought to come +out of it; and, look here, let us take advantage of an opportunity. I +have found a young lady for you that asks no better than to buy your +reading-room. She is a ruined woman with nothing before her but a plunge +into the river; but she had four thousand francs in cash, and the best +thing to do is to turn them to account, so as to feed and educate a +couple of children.’ + +“‘Very well. It is kind of you, Daddy Croizeau,’ said Antonia. + +“‘Oh, I shall be much kinder before I have done. Just imagine it, poor +M. Denisart has been worried into the jaundice! Yes, it has gone to +the liver, as it usually does with susceptible old men. It is a pity he +feels things so. I told him so myself; I said, “Be passionate, there +is no harm in that, but as for taking things to heart--draw the line +at that! It is the way to kill yourself.”--Really, I would not have +expected him to take on so about it; a man that has sense enough and +experience enough to keep away as he does while he digests his dinner--’ + +“‘But what is the matter?’ inquired Mlle. Chocardelle. + +“‘That little baggage with whom I dined has cleared out and left him! +... Yes. Gave him the slip without any warning but a letter, in which +the spelling was all to seek.’ + +“‘There, Daddy Croizeau, you see what comes of boring a woman--’ + +“‘It is indeed a lesson, my pretty lady,’ said the guileful Croizeau. +‘Meanwhile, I have never seen a man in such a state. Our friend Denisart +cannot tell his left hand from his right; he will not go back to look at +the “scene of his happiness,” as he calls it. He has so thoroughly lost +his wits, that he proposes that I should buy all Hortense’s furniture +(Hortense was her name) for four thousand francs.’ + +“‘A pretty name,’ said Antonia. + +“‘Yes. Napoleon’s stepdaughter was called Hortense. I built carriages +for her, as you know.’ + +“‘Very well, I will see,’ said cunning Antonia; ‘begin by sending this +young woman to me.’ + +“Antonia hurried off to see the furniture, and came back fascinated. +She brought Maxime under the spell of antiquarian enthusiasm. That +very evening the Count agreed to the sale of the reading-room. The +establishment, you see, nominally belonged to Mlle. Chocardelle. Maxime +burst out laughing at the idea of little Croizeau’s finding him a buyer. +The firm of Maxime and Chocardelle was losing two thousand francs, it is +true, but what was the loss compared with four glorious thousand-franc +notes in hand? ‘Four thousand francs of live coin!--there are moments in +one’s life when one would sign bills for eight thousand to get them,’ as +the Count said to me. + +“Two days later the Count must see the furniture himself, and took the +four thousand francs upon him. The sale had been arranged; thanks to +little Croizeau’s diligence, he pushed matters on; he had ‘come round’ +the widow, as he expressed it. It was Maxime’s intention to have all +the furniture removed at once to a lodging in a new house in the Rue +Tronchet, taken in the name of Mme. Ida Bonamy; he did not trouble +himself much about the nice old man that was about to lose his thousand +francs. But he had sent beforehand for several big furniture vans. + +“Once again he was fascinated by the beautiful furniture which a +wholesale dealer would have valued at six thousand francs. By the +fireside sat the wretched owner, yellow with jaundice, his head tied up +in a couple of printed handkerchiefs, and a cotton night-cap on top +of them; he was huddled up in wrappings like a chandelier, exhausted, +unable to speak, and altogether so knocked to pieces that the Count was +obliged to transact his business with the man-servant. When he had paid +down the four thousand francs, and the servant had taken the money to +his master for a receipt, Maxime turned to tell the man to call up the +vans to the door; but even as he spoke, a voice like a rattle sounded in +his ears. + +“‘It is not worth while, Monsieur le Comte. You and I are quits; I have +six hundred and thirty francs fifteen centimes to give you!’ + +“To his utter consternation, he saw Cerizet, emerged from his wrappings +like a butterfly from the chrysalis, holding out the accursed bundle of +documents. + +“‘When I was down on my luck, I learned to act on the stage,’ added +Cerizet. ‘I am as good as Bouffe at old men.’ + +“‘I have fallen among thieves!’ shouted Maxime. + +“‘No, Monsieur le Comte, you are in Mlle. Hortense’s house. She is a +friend of old Lord Dudley’s; he keeps her hidden away here; but she has +the bad taste to like your humble servant.’ + +“‘If ever I longed to kill a man,’ so the Count told me afterwards, ‘it +was at that moment; but what could one do? Hortense showed her pretty +face, one had to laugh. To keep my dignity, I flung her the six hundred +francs. “There’s for the girl,” said I.’” + +“That is Maxime all over!” cried La Palferine. + +“More especially as it was little Croizeau’s money,” added Cardot the +profound. + +“Maxime scored a triumph,” continued Desroches, “for Hortense exclaimed, +‘Oh, if I had only known that it was you!’” + +“A pretty ‘confusion’ indeed!” put in Malaga. “You have lost, milord,” + she added turning to the notary. + +And in this way the cabinetmaker, to whom Malaga owed a hundred crowns, +was paid. + + +PARIS, 1845. + + + + +ADDENDUM + +The following personages appear in other stories of the Human Comedy. + + Barbet + A Distinguished Provincial at Paris + The Seamy Side of History + The Middle Classes + + Bixiou, Jean-Jacques + The Purse + A Bachelor’s Establishment + The Government Clerks + Modeste Mignon + Scenes from a Courtesan’s Life + The Firm of Nucingen + The Muse of the Department + Cousin Betty + The Member for Arcis + Beatrix + Gaudissart II. + The Unconscious Humorists + Cousin Pons + + Cardot (Parisian notary) + The Muse of the Department + Jealousies of a Country Town + Pierre Grassou + The Middle Classes + Cousin Pons + + Cerizet + Lost Illusions + Scenes from a Courtesan’s Life + The Middle Classes + + Chaboisseau + A Distinguished Provincial at Paris + The Government Clerks + + Chocardelle, Mademoiselle + Beatrix + A Prince of Bohemia + Cousin Betty + The Member for Arcis + + Claparon, Charles + A Bachelor’s Establishment + Cesar Birotteau + Melmoth Reconciled + The Firm of Nucingen + The Middle Classes + + Desroches (son) + A Bachelor’s Establishment + Colonel Chabert + A Start in Life + A Woman of Thirty + The Commission in Lunacy + The Government Clerks + A Distinguished Provincial at Paris + Scenes from a Courtesan’s Life + The Firm of Nucingen + The Middle Classes + + Dudley, Lord + The Lily of the Valley + The Thirteen + Another Study of Woman + A Daughter of Eve + + Esgrignon, Victurnien, Comte (then Marquis d’) + Jealousies of a Country Town + Letters of Two Brides + The Secrets of a Princess + Cousin Betty + + Estourny, Charles d’ + Modeste Mignon + Scenes from a Courtesan’s Life + + Hortense + The Member for Arcis + + La Palferine, Comte de + A Prince of Bohemia + Cousin Betty + Beatrix + The Imaginary Mistress + + Lousteau, Etienne + A Distinguished Provincial at Paris + A Bachelor’s Establishment + Scenes from a Courtesan’s Life + A Daughter of Eve + Beatrix + The Muse of the Department + Cousin Betty + A Prince of Bohemia + The Middle Classes + The Unconscious Humorists + + Montcornet, Marechal, Comte de + Domestic Peace + Lost Illusions + A Distinguished Provincial at Paris + Scenes from a Courtesan’s Life + The Peasantry + Cousin Betty + + Nathan, Raoul + Lost Illusions + A Distinguished Provincial at Paris + Scenes from a Courtesan’s Life + The Secrets of a Princess + A Daughter of Eve + Letters of Two Brides + The Seamy Side of History + The Muse of the Department + A Prince of Bohemia + The Unconscious Humorists + + Nucingen, Baron Frederic de + The Firm of Nucingen + Father Goriot + Pierrette + Cesar Birotteau + Lost Illusions + A Distinguished Provincial at Paris + Scenes from a Courtesan’s Life + Another Study of Woman + The Secrets of a Princess + Cousin Betty + The Muse of the Department + The Unconscious Humorists + + Samanon + A Distinguished Provincial at Paris + The Government Clerks + Cousin Betty + + Trailles, Comte Maxime de + Cesar Birotteau + Father Goriot + Gobseck + Ursule Mirouet + The Member for Arcis + The Secrets of a Princess + Cousin Betty + Beatrix + The Unconscious Humorists + + Turquet, Marguerite + The Imaginary Mistress + The Muse of the Department + Cousin Betty + + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of A Man of Business, by Honore de Balzac + +*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK A MAN OF BUSINESS *** + +***** This file should be named 1813-0.txt or 1813-0.zip ***** +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: + http://www.gutenberg.org/1/8/1/1813/ + +Produced by John Bickers, and Dagny + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: A Man of Business + +Author: Honore de Balzac + +Translator: Clara Bell and Others + +Release Date: March 2, 2010 [EBook #1813] +Last Updated: November 22, 2016 + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: UTF-8 + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK A MAN OF BUSINESS *** + + + + +Produced by John Bickers, and Dagny + + + + + +</pre> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <h1> + A MAN OF BUSINESS + </h1> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <h2> + By Honore De Balzac + </h2> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <h3> + Translated by Clara Bell and Others + </h3> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <h3> + DEDICATION<br /><br /> To Monsieur le Baron James de Rothschild, Banker and<br /> + Austrian Consul-General at Paris.<br /> + </h3> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <h2> + Contents + </h2> + <h3> + <a href="#link2H_4_0001"> A MAN OF BUSINESS </a><br /><br /> <a + href="#link2H_4_0002"> ADDENDUM </a><br /> + </h3> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <br /> <br /> <a name="link2H_4_0001" id="link2H_4_0001"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <h1> + A MAN OF BUSINESS + </h1> + <p> + <br /> + </p> + <p> + The word <i>lorette</i> is a euphemism invented to describe the status of + a personage, or a personage of a status, of which it is awkward to speak; + the French Academie, in its modesty, having omitted to supply a definition + out of regard for the age of its forty members. Whenever a new word comes + to supply the place of an unwieldy circumlocution, its fortune is assured; + the word <i>lorette</i> has passed into the language of every class of + society, even where the lorette herself will never gain an entrance. It + was only invented in 1840, and derived beyond a doubt from the + agglomeration of such swallows’ nests about the Church of Our Lady of + Loretto. This information is for etymoligists only. Those gentlemen would + not be so often in a quandary if mediaeval writers had only taken such + pains with details of contemporary manners as we take in these days of + analysis and description. + </p> + <p> + Mlle. Turquet, or Malaga, for she is better known by her pseudonym (See <i>La + fausse Maitresse</i>.), was one of the earliest parishioners of that + charming church. At the time to which this story belongs, that + lighthearted and lively damsel gladdened the existence of a notary with a + wife somewhat too bigoted, rigid, and frigid for domestic happiness. + </p> + <p> + Now, it so fell out that one Carnival evening Maitre Cardot was + entertaining guests at Mlle. Turquet’s house—Desroches the attorney, + Bixiou of the caricatures, Lousteau the journalist, Nathan, and others; it + is quite unnecessary to give any further description of these personages, + all bearers of illustrious names in the <i>Comedie Humaine</i>. Young La + Palferine, in spite of his title of Count and his great descent, which, + alas! means a great descent in fortune likewise, had honored the notary’s + little establishment with his presence. + </p> + <p> + At dinner, in such a house, one does not expect to meet the patriarchal + beef, the skinny fowl and salad of domestic and family life, nor is there + any attempt at the hypocritical conversation of drawing-rooms furnished + with highly respectable matrons. When, alas! will respectability be + charming? When will the women in good society vouchsafe to show rather + less of their shoulders and rather more wit or geniality? Marguerite + Turquet, the Aspasia of the Cirque-Olympique, is one of those frank, very + living personalities to whom all is forgiven, such unconscious sinners are + they, such intelligent penitents; of such as Malaga one might ask, like + Cardot—a witty man enough, albeit a notary—to be well + “deceived.” And yet you must not think that any enormities were committed. + Desroches and Cardot were good fellows grown too gray in the profession + not to feel at ease with Bixiou, Lousteau, Nathan, and young La Palferine. + And they on their side had too often had recourse to their legal advisers, + and knew them too well to try to “draw them out,” in lorette language. + </p> + <p> + Conversation, perfumed with seven cigars, at first was as fantastic as a + kid let loose, but finally it settled down upon the strategy of the + constant war waged in Paris between creditors and debtors. + </p> + <p> + Now, if you will be so good as to recall the history and antecedents of + the guests, you will know that in all Paris, you could scarcely find a + group of men with more experience in this matter; the professional men on + one hand, and the artists on the other, were something in the position of + magistrates and criminals hobnobbing together. A set of Bixiou’s drawings + to illustrate life in the debtors’ prison, led the conversation to take + this particular turn; and from debtors’ prisons they went to debts. + </p> + <p> + It was midnight. They had broken up into little knots round the table and + before the fire, and gave themselves up to the burlesque fun which is only + possible or comprehensible in Paris and in that particular region which is + bounded by the Faubourg Montmartre, the Rue Chaussee d’Antin, the upper + end of the Rue de Navarin and the line of the boulevards. + </p> + <p> + In ten minutes’ time they had come to an end of all the deep reflections, + all the moralizings, small and great, all the bad puns made on a subject + already exhausted by Rabelais three hundred and fifty years ago. It was + not a little to their credit that the pyrotechnic display was cut short + with a final squib from Malaga. + </p> + <p> + “It all goes to the shoemakers,” she said. “I left a milliner because she + failed twice with my hats. The vixen has been here twenty-seven times to + ask for twenty francs. She did not know that we never have twenty francs. + One has a thousand francs, or one sends to one’s notary for five hundred; + but twenty francs I have never had in my life. My cook and my maid may, + perhaps, have so much between them; but for my own part, I have nothing + but credit, and I should lose that if I took to borrowing small sums. If I + were to ask for twenty francs, I should have nothing to distinguish me + from my colleagues that walk the boulevard.” + </p> + <p> + “Is the milliner paid?” asked La Palferine. + </p> + <p> + “Oh, come now, are you turning stupid?” said she, with a wink. “She came + this morning for the twenty-seventh time, that is how I came to mention + it.” + </p> + <p> + “What did you do?” asked Desroches. + </p> + <p> + “I took pity upon her, and—ordered a little hat that I have just + invented, a quite new shape. If Mlle. Amanda succeeds with it, she will + say no more about the money, her fortune is made.” + </p> + <p> + “In my opinion,” put in Desroches, “the finest things that I have seen in + a duel of this kind give those who know Paris a far better picture of the + city than all the fancy portraits that they paint. Some of you think that + you know a thing or two,” he continued, glancing round at Nathan, Bixiou, + La Palferine, and Lousteau, “but the king of the ground is a certain + Count, now busy ranging himself. In his time, he was supposed to be the + cleverest, adroitest, canniest, boldest, stoutest, most subtle and + experienced of all the pirates, who, equipped with fine manners, yellow + kid gloves, and cabs, have ever sailed or ever will sail upon the stormy + seas of Paris. He fears neither God nor man. He applies in private life + the principles that guide the English Cabinet. Up to the time of his + marriage, his life was one continual war, like—Lousteau’s, for + instance. I was, and am still his solicitor.” + </p> + <p> + “And the first letter of his name is Maxime de Trailles,” said La + Palferine. + </p> + <p> + “For that matter, he has paid every one, and injured no one,” continued + Desroches. “But as your friend Bixiou was saying just now, it is a + violation of the liberty of the subject to be made to pay in March when + you have no mind to pay till October. By virtue of this article of his + particular code, Maxime regarded a creditor’s scheme for making him pay at + once as a swindler’s trick. It was a long time since he had grasped the + significance of the bill of exchange in all its bearings, direct and + remote. A young man once, in my place, called a bill of exchange the + ‘asses’ bridge’ in his hearing. ‘No,’ said he, ‘it is the Bridge of Sighs; + it is the shortest way to an execution.’ Indeed, his knowledge of + commercial law was so complete, that a professional could not have taught + him anything. At that time he had nothing, as you know. His carriage and + horses were jobbed; he lived in his valet’s house; and, by the way, he + will be a hero to his valet to the end of the chapter, even after the + marriage that he proposes to make. He belonged to three clubs, and dined + at one of them whenever he did not dine out. As a rule, he was to be found + very seldom at his own address—” + </p> + <p> + “He once said to me,” interrupted La Palferine, “‘My one affectation is + the pretence that I make of living in the Rue Pigalle.’” + </p> + <p> + “Well,” resumed Desroches, “he was one of the combatants; and now for the + other. You have heard more or less talk of one Claparon?” + </p> + <p> + “Had hair like this!” cried Bixiou, ruffling his locks till they stood on + end. Gifted with the same talent for mimicking absurdities which Chopin + the pianist possesses to so high a degree, he proceeded forthwith to + represent the character with startling truth. + </p> + <p> + “He rolls his head like this when he speaks; he was once a commercial + traveler; he has been all sorts of things—” + </p> + <p> + “Well, he was born to travel, for at this minute, as I speak, he is on the + sea on his way to America,” said Desroches. “It is his only chance, for in + all probability he will be condemned by default as a fraudulent bankrupt + next session.” + </p> + <p> + “Very much at sea!” exclaimed Malaga. + </p> + <p> + “For six or seven years this Claparon acted as man of straw, cat’s paw, + and scapegoat to two friends of ours, du Tillet and Nucingen; but in 1829 + his part was so well known that—” + </p> + <p> + “Our friends dropped him,” put in Bixiou. + </p> + <p> + “They left him to his fate at last, and he wallowed in the mire,” + continued Desroches. “In 1833 he went into partnership with one Cerizet—” + </p> + <p> + “What! he that promoted a joint-stock company so nicely that the Sixth + Chamber cut short his career with a couple of years in jail?” asked the + lorette. + </p> + <p> + “The same. Under the Restoration, between 1823 and 1827, Cerizet’s + occupation consisted in first putting his name intrepidly to various + paragraphs, on which the public prosecutor fastened with avidity, and + subsequently marching off to prison. A man could make a name for himself + with small expense in those days. The Liberal party called their + provincial champion ‘the courageous Cerizet,’ and towards 1828 so much + zeal received its reward in ‘general interest.’ + </p> + <p> + “‘General interest’ is a kind of civic crown bestowed on the deserving by + the daily press. Cerizet tried to discount the ‘general interest’ taken in + him. He came to Paris, and, with some help from capitalists in the + Opposition, started as a broker, and conducted financial operations to + some extent, the capital being found by a man in hiding, a skilful gambler + who overreached himself, and in consequence, in July 1830, his capital + foundered in the shipwreck of the Government.” + </p> + <p> + “Oh! it was he whom we used to call the System,” cried Bixiou. + </p> + <p> + “Say no harm of him, poor fellow,” protested Malaga. “D’Estourny was a + good sort.” + </p> + <p> + “You can imagine the part that a ruined man was sure to play in 1830 when + his name in politics was ‘the courageous Cerizet.’ He was sent off into a + very snug little sub-prefecture. Unluckily for him, it is one thing to be + in opposition—any missile is good enough to throw, so long as the + flight lasts; but quite another to be in office. Three months later, he + was obliged to send in his resignation. Had he not taken it into his head + to attempt to win popularity? Still, as he had done nothing as yet to + imperil his title of ‘courageous Cerizet,’ the Government proposed by way + of compensation that he should manage a newspaper; nominally an Opposition + newspaper, but Ministerialist <i>in petto</i>. So the fall of this noble + nature was really due to the Government. To Cerizet, as manager of the + paper, it was rather too evident that he was as a bird perched on a rotten + bough; and then it was that he promoted that nice little joint-stock + company, and thereby secured a couple of years in prison; he was caught, + while more ingenious swindlers succeeded in catching the public.” + </p> + <p> + “We are acquainted with the more ingenious,” said Bixiou; “let us say no + ill of the poor fellow; he was nabbed; Couture allowed them to squeeze his + cash-box; who would ever have thought it of him?” + </p> + <p> + “At all events, Cerizet was a low sort of fellow, a good deal damaged by + low debauchery. Now for the duel I spoke about. Never did two tradesmen of + the worst type, with the worst manners, the lowest pair of villains + imaginable, go into partnership in a dirtier business. Their + stock-in-trade consisted of the peculiar idiom of the man about town, the + audacity of poverty, the cunning that comes of experience, and a special + knowledge of Parisian capitalists, their origin, connections, + acquaintances, and intrinsic value. This partnership of two ‘dabblers’ + (let the Stock Exchange term pass, for it is the only word which describes + them), this partnership of dabblers did not last very long. They fought + like famished curs over every bit of garbage. + </p> + <p> + “The earlier speculations of the firm of Cerizet and Claparon were, + however, well planned. The two scamps joined forces with Barbet, + Chaboisseau, Samanon, and usurers of that stamp, and bought up hopelessly + bad debts. + </p> + <p> + “Claparon’s place of business at that time was a cramped entresol in the + Rue Chabannais—five rooms at a rent of seven hundred francs at most. + Each partner slept in a little closet, so carefully closed from prudence, + that my head-clerk could never get inside. The furniture of the other + three rooms—an ante-chamber, a waiting-room, and a private office—would + not have fetched three hundred francs altogether at a distress-warrant + sale. You know enough of Paris to know the look of it; the stuffed + horsehair-covered chairs, a table covered with a green cloth, a trumpery + clock between a couple of candle sconces, growing tarnished under glass + shades, the small gilt-framed mirror over the chimney-piece, and in the + grate a charred stick or two of firewood which had lasted them for two + winters, as my head-clerk put it. As for the office, you can guess what it + was like—more letter-files than business letters, a set of common + pigeon-holes for either partner, a cylinder desk, empty as the cash-box, + in the middle of the room, and a couple of armchairs on either side of a + coal fire. The carpet on the floor was bought cheap at second-hand (like + the bills and bad debts). In short, it was the mahogany furniture of + furnished apartments which usually descends from one occupant of chambers + to another during fifty years of service. Now you know the pair of + antagonists. + </p> + <p> + “During the first three months of a partnership dissolved four months + later in a bout of fisticuffs, Cerizet and Claparon bought up two thousand + francs’ worth of bills bearing Maxime’s signature (since Maxime was his + name), and filled a couple of letters to bursting with judgments, appeals, + orders of the court, distress-warrants, application for stay of + proceedings, and all the rest of it; to put it briefly, they had bills for + three thousand two hundred francs odd centimes, for which they had given + five hundred francs; the transfer being made under private seal, with + special power of attorney, to save the expense of registration. Now it so + happened at this juncture, Maxime, being of ripe age, was seized with one + of the fancies peculiar to the man of fifty—” + </p> + <p> + “Antonia!” exclaimed La Palferine. “That Antonia whose fortune I made by + writing to ask for a toothbrush!” + </p> + <p> + “Her real name is Chocardelle,” said Malaga, not over well pleased by the + fine-sounding pseudonym. + </p> + <p> + “The same,” continued Desroches. + </p> + <p> + “It was the only mistake Maxime ever made in his life. But what would you + have, no vice is absolutely perfect?” put in Bixiou. + </p> + <p> + “Maxime had still to learn what sort of a life a man may be led into by a + girl of eighteen when she is minded to take a header from her honest + garret into a sumptuous carriage; it is a lesson that all statesmen should + take to heart. At this time, de Marsay had just been employing his friend, + our friend de Trailles, in the high comedy of politics. Maxime had looked + high for his conquests; he had no experience of untitled women; and at + fifty years he felt that he had a right to take a bite of the so-called + wild fruit, much as a sportsman will halt under a peasant’s apple-tree. So + the Count found a reading-room for Mlle. Chocardelle, a rather smart + little place to be had cheap, as usual—” + </p> + <p> + “Pooh!” said Nathan. “She did not stay in it six months. She was too + handsome to keep a reading-room.” + </p> + <p> + “Perhaps you are the father of her child?” suggested the lorette. + </p> + <p> + Desroches resumed. + </p> + <p> + “Since the firm bought up Maxime’s debts, Cerizet’s likeness to a + bailiff’s officer grew more and more striking, and one morning after seven + fruitless attempts he succeeded in penetrating into the Count’s presence. + Suzon, the old man-servant, albeit he was by no means in his novitiate, at + last mistook the visitor for a petitioner, come to propose a thousand + crowns if Maxime would obtain a license to sell postage stamps for a young + lady. Suzon, without the slightest suspicion of the little scamp, a + thoroughbred Paris street-boy into whom prudence had been rubbed by + repeated personal experience of the police-courts, induced his master to + receive him. Can you see the man of business, with an uneasy eye, a bald + forehead, and scarcely any hair on his head, standing in his threadbare + jacket and muddy boots—” + </p> + <p> + “What a picture of a Dun!” cried Lousteau. + </p> + <p> + “—standing before the Count, that image of flaunting Debt, in his + blue flannel dressing-gown, slippers worked by some Marquise or other, + trousers of white woolen stuff, and a dazzling shirt? There he stood, with + a gorgeous cap on his black dyed hair, playing with the tassels at his + waist—” + </p> + <p> + “‘Tis a bit of genre for anybody who knows what the pretty little morning + room, hung with silk and full of valuable paintings, where Maxime + breakfasts,” said Nathan. “You tread on a Smyrna carpet, you admire the + sideboards filled with curiosities and rarities fit to make a King of + Saxony envious—” + </p> + <p> + “Now for the scene itself,” said Desroches, and the deepest silence + followed. + </p> + <p> + “‘Monsieur le Comte,’ began Cerizet, ‘I have come from a M. Charles + Claparon, who used to be a banker—’ + </p> + <p> + “‘Ah! poor devil, and what does he want with me?’ + </p> + <p> + “‘Well, he is at present your creditor for a matter of three thousand two + hundred francs, seventy-five centimes, principal, interest, and costs—’ + </p> + <p> + “‘Coutelier’s business?’ put in Maxime, who knew his affairs as a pilot + knows his coast. + </p> + <p> + “‘Yes, Monsieur le Comte,’ said Cerizet with a bow. ‘I have come to ask + your intentions.’ + </p> + <p> + “‘I shall only pay when the fancy takes me,’ returned Maxime, and he rang + for Suzon. ‘It was very rash of Claparon to buy up bills of mine without + speaking to me beforehand. I am sorry for him, for he did so very well for + such a long time as a man of straw for friends of mine. I always said that + a man must really be weak in his intellect to work for men that stuff + themselves with millions, and to serve them so faithfully for such low + wages. And now here he gives me another proof of his stupidity! Yes, men + deserve what they get. It is your own doing whether you get a crown on + your forehead or a bullet through your head; whether you are a millionaire + or a porter, justice is always done you. I cannot help it, my dear fellow; + I myself am not a king, I stick to my principles. I have no pity for those + that put me to expense or do not know their business as creditors.—Suzon! + my tea! Do you see this gentleman?’ he continued when the man came in. + ‘Well, you have allowed yourself to be taken in, poor old boy. This + gentleman is a creditor; you ought to have known him by his boots. No + friend nor foe of mine, nor those that are neither and want something of + me, come to see me on foot.—My dear M. Cerizet, do you understand? + You will not wipe your boots on my carpet again’ (looking as he spoke at + the mud that whitened the enemy’s soles). ‘Convey my compliments and + sympathy to Claparon, poor buffer, for I shall file this business under + the letter Z.’ + </p> + <p> + “All this with an easy good-humor fit to give a virtuous citizen the + colic. + </p> + <p> + “‘You are wrong, Monsieur le Comte,’ retorted Cerizet, in a slightly + peremptory tone. ‘We will be paid in full, and that in a way which you may + not like. That is why I came to you first in a friendly spirit, as is + right and fit between gentlemen—’ + </p> + <p> + “‘Oh! so that is how you understand it?’ began Maxime, enraged by this + last piece of presumption. There was something of Talleyrand’s wit in the + insolent retort, if you have quite grasped the contrast between the two + men and their costumes. Maxime scowled and looked full at the intruder; + Cerizet not merely endured the glare of cold fury, but even returned it, + with an icy, cat-like malignance and fixity of gaze. + </p> + <p> + “‘Very good, sir, go out—’ + </p> + <p> + “‘Very well, good-day, Monsieur le Comte. We shall be quits before six + months are out.’ + </p> + <p> + “‘If you can steal the amount of your bill, which is legally due I own, I + shall be indebted to you, sir,’ replied Maxime. ‘You will have taught me a + new precaution to take. I am very much your servant.’ + </p> + <p> + “‘Monsieur le Comte,’ said Cerizet, ‘it is I, on the contrary, who am + yours.’ + </p> + <p> + “Here was an explicit, forcible, confident declaration on either side. A + couple of tigers confabulating, with the prey before them, and a fight + impending, would have been no finer and no shrewder than this pair; the + insolent fine gentleman as great a blackguard as the other in his soiled + and mud-stained clothes. + </p> + <p> + “Which will you lay your money on?” asked Desroches, looking round at an + audience, surprised to find how deeply it was interested. + </p> + <p> + “A pretty story!” cried Malaga. “My dear boy, go on, I beg of you. This + goes to one’s heart.” + </p> + <p> + “Nothing commonplace could happen between two fighting-cocks of that + calibre,” added La Palferine. + </p> + <p> + “Pooh!” cried Malaga. “I will wager my cabinet-maker’s invoice (the fellow + is dunning me) that the little toad was too many for Maxime.” + </p> + <p> + “I bet on Maxime,” said Cardot. “Nobody ever caught him napping.” + </p> + <p> + Desroches drank off a glass that Malaga handed to him. + </p> + <p> + “Mlle. Chocardelle’s reading-room,” he continued, after a pause, “was in + the Rue Coquenard, just a step or two from the Rue Pigalle where Maxime + was living. The said Mlle. Chocardelle lived at the back on the garden + side of the house, beyond a big dark place where the books were kept. + Antonia left her aunt to look after the business—” + </p> + <p> + “Had she an aunt even then?” exclaimed Malaga. “Hang it all, Maxime did + things handsomely.” + </p> + <p> + “Alas! it was a real aunt,” said Desroches; “her name was—let me see——” + </p> + <p> + “Ida Bonamy,” said Bixiou. + </p> + <p> + “So as Antonia’s aunt took a good deal of the work off her hands, she went + to bed late and lay late of a morning, never showing her face at the desk + until the afternoon, some time between two and four. From the very first + her appearance was enough to draw custom. Several elderly men in the + quarter used to come, among them a retired coach-builder, one Croizeau. + Beholding this miracle of female loveliness through the window-panes, he + took it into his head to read the newspapers in the beauty’s reading-room; + and a sometime custom-house officer, named Denisart, with a ribbon in his + button-hole, followed the example. Croizeau chose to look upon Denisart as + a rival. ‘<i>Monsieur</i>,’ he said afterwards, ‘I did not know what to + buy for you!’ + </p> + <p> + “That speech should give you an idea of the man. The Sieur Croizeau + happens to belong to a particular class of old man which should be known + as ‘Coquerels’ since Henri Monnier’s time; so well did Monnier render the + piping voice, the little mannerisms, little queue, little sprinkling of + powder, little movements of the head, prim little manner, and tripping + gait in the part of Coquerel in <i>La Famille Improvisee</i>. This + Croizeau used to hand over his halfpence with a flourish and a ‘There, + fair lady!’ + </p> + <p> + “Mme. Ida Bonamy the aunt was not long in finding out through a servant + that Croizeau, by popular report of the neighborhood of the Rue de + Buffault, where he lived, was a man of exceeding stinginess, possessed of + forty thousand francs per annum. A week after the instalment of the + charming librarian he was delivered of a pun: + </p> + <p> + “‘You lend me books (livres), but I give you plenty of francs in return,’ + said he. + </p> + <p> + “A few days later he put on a knowing little air, as much as to say, ‘I + know you are engaged, but my turn will come one day; I am a widower.’ + </p> + <p> + “He always came arrayed in fine linen, a cornflower blue coat, a paduasoy + waistcoat, black trousers, and black ribbon bows on the double soled shoes + that creaked like an abbe’s; he always held a fourteen franc silk hat in + his hand. + </p> + <p> + “‘I am old and I have no children,’ he took occasion to confide to the + young lady some few days after Cerizet’s visit to Maxime. ‘I hold my + relations in horror. They are peasants born to work in the fields. Just + imagine it, I came up from the country with six francs in my pocket, and + made my fortune here. I am not proud. A pretty woman is my equal. Now + would it not be nicer to be Mme. Croizeau for some years to come than to + do a Count’s pleasure for a twelvemonth? He will go off and leave you some + time or other; and when that day comes, you will think of me... your + servant, my pretty lady!’ + </p> + <p> + “All this was simmering below the surface. The slightest approach at + love-making was made quite on the sly. Not a soul suspected that the trim + little old fogy was smitten with Antonia; and so prudent was the elderly + lover, that no rival could have guessed anything from his behavior in the + reading-room. For a couple of months Croizeau watched the retired + custom-house official; but before the third month was out he had good + reason to believe that his suspicions were groundless. He exerted his + ingenuity to scrape an acquaintance with Denisart, came up with him in the + street, and at length seized his opportunity to remark, ‘It is a fine day, + sir!’ + </p> + <p> + “Whereupon the retired official responded with, ‘Austerlitz weather, sir. + I was there myself—I was wounded indeed, I won my Cross on that + glorious day.’ + </p> + <p> + “And so from one thing to another the two drifted wrecks of the Empire + struck up an acquaintance. Little Croizeau was attached to the Empire + through his connection with Napoleon’s sisters. He had been their + coach-builder, and had frequently dunned them for money; so he gave out + that he ‘had had relations with the Imperial family.’ Maxime, duly + informed by Antonia of the ‘nice old man’s’ proposals (for so the aunt + called Croizeau), wished to see him. Cerizet’s declaration of war had so + far taken effect that he of the yellow kid gloves was studying the + position of every piece, however insignificant, upon the board; and it so + happened that at the mention of that ‘nice old man,’ an ominous tinkling + sounded in his ears. One evening, therefore, Maxime seated himself among + the book-shelves in the dimly lighted back room, reconnoitred the seven or + eight customers through the chink between the green curtains, and took the + little coach-builder’s measure. He gauged the man’s infatuation, and was + very well satisfied to find that the varnished doors of a tolerably + sumptuous future were ready to turn at a word from Antonia so soon as his + own fancy had passed off. + </p> + <p> + “‘And that other one yonder?’ asked he, pointing out the stout + fine-looking elderly man with the Cross of the Legion of Honor. ‘Who is + he?’ + </p> + <p> + “‘A retired custom-house officer.’ + </p> + <p> + “‘The cut of his countenance is not reassuring,’ said Maxime, beholding + the Sieur Denisart. + </p> + <p> + “And indeed the old soldier held himself upright as a steeple. His head + was remarkable for the amount of powder and pomatum bestowed upon it; he + looked almost like a postilion at a fancy ball. Underneath that felted + covering, moulded to the top of the wearer’s cranium, appeared an elderly + profile, half-official, half-soldierly, with a comical admixture of + arrogance,—altogether something like caricatures of the <i>Constitutionnel</i>. + The sometime official finding that age, and hair-powder, and the + conformation of his spine made it impossible to read a word without + spectacles, sat displaying a very creditable expanse of chest with all the + pride of an old man with a mistress. Like old General Montcornet, that + pillar of the Vaudeville, he wore earrings. Denisart was partial to blue; + his roomy trousers and well-worn greatcoat were both of blue cloth. + </p> + <p> + “‘How long is it since that old fogy came here?’ inquired Maxime, thinking + that he saw danger in the spectacles. + </p> + <p> + “‘Oh, from the beginning,’ returned Antonia, ‘pretty nearly two months ago + now.’ + </p> + <p> + “‘Good,” said Maxime to himself, ‘Cerizet only came to me a month ago.—Just + get him to talk,’ he added in Antonia’s ear; ‘I want to hear his voice.’ + </p> + <p> + “‘Pshaw,’ said she, ‘that is not so easy. He never says a word to me.’ + </p> + <p> + “‘Then why does he come here?’ demanded Maxime. + </p> + <p> + “‘For a queer reason,’ returned the fair Antonia. ‘In the first place, + although he is sixty-nine, he has a fancy; and because he is sixty-nine, + he is as methodical as a clock face. Every day at five o’clock the old + gentleman goes to dine with <i>her</i> in the Rue de la Victoire. (I am + sorry for her.) Then at six o’clock, he comes here, reads steadily at the + papers for four hours, and goes back at ten o’clock. Daddy Croizeau says + that he knows M. Denisart’s motives, and approves his conduct; and in his + place, he would do the same. So I know exactly what to expect. If ever I + am Mme. Croizeau, I shall have four hours to myself between six and ten + o’clock.’ + </p> + <p> + “Maxime looked through the directory, and found the following reassuring + item: + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + “DENISART,* retired custom-house officer, Rue de la Victoire. +</pre> + <p> + “His uneasiness vanished. + </p> + <p> + “Gradually the Sieur Denisart and the Sieur Croizeau began to exchange + confidences. Nothing so binds two men together as a similarity of views in + the matter of womankind. Daddy Croizeau went to dine with ‘M. Denisart’s + fair lady,’ as he called her. And here I must make a somewhat important + observation. + </p> + <p> + “The reading-room had been paid for half in cash, half in bills signed by + the said Mlle. Chocardelle. The <i>quart d’heure de Rabelais</i> arrived; + the Count had no money. So the first bill of three thousand francs was met + by the amiable coach-builder; that old scoundrel Denisart having + recommended him to secure himself with a mortgage on the reading-room. + </p> + <p> + “‘For my own part,’ said Denisart, ‘I have seen pretty doings from pretty + women. So in all cases, even when I have lost my head, I am always on my + guard with a woman. There is this creature, for instance; I am madly in + love with her; but this is not her furniture; no, it belongs to me. The + lease is taken out in my name.’ + </p> + <p> + “You know Maxime! He thought the coach-builder uncommonly green. Croizeau + might pay all three bills, and get nothing for a long while; for Maxime + felt more infatuated with Antonia than ever.” + </p> + <p> + “I can well believe it,” said La Palferine. “She is the <i>bella Imperia</i> + of our day.” + </p> + <p> + “With her rough skin!” exclaimed Malaga; “so rough, that she ruins herself + in bran baths!” + </p> + <p> + “Croizeau spoke with a coach-builder’s admiration of the sumptuous + furniture provided by the amorous Denisart as a setting for his fair one, + describing it all in detail with diabolical complacency for Antonia’s + benefit,” continued Desroches. “The ebony chests inlaid with + mother-of-pearl and gold wire, the Brussels carpets, a mediaeval bedstead + worth three thousand francs, a Boule clock, candelabra in the four corners + of the dining-room, silk curtains, on which Chinese patience had wrought + pictures of birds, and hangings over the doors, worth more than the + portress that opened them. + </p> + <p> + “‘And that is what <i>you</i> ought to have, my pretty lady.—And + that is what I should like to offer you,’ he would conclude. ‘I am quite + aware that you scarcely care a bit about me; but, at my age, we cannot + expect too much. Judge how much I love you; I have lent you a thousand + francs. I must confess that, in all my born days, I have not lent anybody + <i>that</i> much——’ + </p> + <p> + “He held out his penny as he spoke, with the important air of a man that + gives a learned demonstration. + </p> + <p> + “That evening at the Varietes, Antonia spoke to the Count. + </p> + <p> + “‘A reading-room is very dull, all the same,’ said she; ‘I feel that I + have no sort of taste for that kind of life, and I see no future in it. It + is only fit for a widow that wishes to keep body and soul together, or for + some hideously ugly thing that fancies she can catch a husband with a + little finery.’ + </p> + <p> + “‘It was your own choice,’ returned the Count. Just at that moment, in + came Nucingen, of whom Maxime, king of lions (the ‘yellow kid gloves’ were + the lions of that day) had won three thousand francs the evening before. + Nucingen had come to pay his gaming debt. + </p> + <p> + “‘Ein writ of attachment haf shoost peen served on me by der order of dot + teufel Glabaron,’ he said, seeing Maxime’s astonishment. + </p> + <p> + “‘Oh, so that is how they are going to work, is it?’ cried Maxime. ‘They + are not up to much, that pair—’ + </p> + <p> + “‘It makes not,’ said the banker, ‘bay dem, for dey may apply demselfs to + oders pesides, und do you harm. I dake dees bretty voman to vitness dot I + haf baid you dees morning, long pefore dat writ vas serfed.’” + </p> + <p> + “Queen of the boards,” smiled La Palferine, looking at Malaga, “thou art + about to lose thy bet.” + </p> + <p> + “Once, a long time ago, in a similar case,” resumed Desroches, “a too + honest debtor took fright at the idea of a solemn declaration in a court + of law, and declined to pay Maxime after notice was given. That time we + made it hot for the creditor by piling on writs of attachment, so as to + absorb the whole amount in costs—” + </p> + <p> + “Oh, what is that?” cried Malaga; “it all sounds like gibberish to me. As + you thought the sturgeon so excellent at dinner, let me take out the value + of the sauce in lessons in chicanery.” + </p> + <p> + “Very well,” said Desroches. “Suppose that a man owes you money, and your + creditors serve a writ of attachment upon him; there is nothing to prevent + all your other creditors from doing the same thing. And now what does the + court do when all the creditors make application for orders to pay? <i>The + court divides the whole sum attached, proportionately among them all.</i> + That division, made under the eye of a magistrate, is what we call a <i>contribution</i>. + If you owe ten thousand francs, and your creditors issue writs of + attachment on a debt due to you of a thousand francs, each one of them + gets so much per cent, ‘so much in the pound,’ in legal phrase; so much + (that means) in proportion to the amounts severally claimed by the + creditors. But—the creditors cannot touch the money without a + special order from the clerk of the court. Do you guess what all this work + drawn up by a judge and prepared by attorneys must mean? It means a + quantity of stamped paper full of diffuse lines and blanks, the figures + almost lost in vast spaces of completely empty ruled columns. The first + proceeding is to deduct the costs. Now, as the costs are precisely the + same whether the amount attached is one thousand or one million francs, it + is not difficult to eat up three thousand francs (for instance) in costs, + especially if you can manage to raise counter applications.” + </p> + <p> + “And an attorney always manages to do it,” said Cardot. “How many a time + one of you has come to me with, ‘What is there to be got out of the + case?’” + </p> + <p> + “It is particularly easy to manage it if the debtor eggs you on to run up + costs till they eat up the amount. And, as a rule, the Count’s creditors + took nothing by that move, and were out of pocket in law and personal + expenses. To get money out of so experienced a debtor as the Count, a + creditor should really be in a position uncommonly difficult to reach; it + is a question of being creditor and debtor both, for then you are legally + entitled to work the confusion of rights, in law language—” + </p> + <p> + “To the confusion of the debtor?” asked Malaga, lending an attentive ear + to this discourse. + </p> + <p> + “No, the confusion of rights of debtor and creditor, and pay yourself + through your own hands. So Claparon’s innocence in merely issuing writs of + attachment eased the Count’s mind. As he came back from the Varietes with + Antonia, he was so much the more taken with the idea of selling the + reading-room to pay off the last two thousand francs of the + purchase-money, because he did not care to have his name made public as a + partner in such a concern. So he adopted Antonia’s plan. Antonia wished to + reach the higher ranks of her calling, with splendid rooms, a maid, and a + carriage; in short, she wanted to rival our charming hostess, for instance—” + </p> + <p> + “She was not woman enough for that,” cried the famous beauty of the + Circus; “still, she ruined young d’Esgrignon very neatly.” + </p> + <p> + “Ten days afterwards, little Croizeau, perched on his dignity, said almost + exactly the same thing, for the fair Antonia’s benefit,” continued + Desroches. + </p> + <p> + “‘Child,’ said he, ‘your reading-room is a hole of a place. You will lose + your complexion; the gas will ruin your eyesight. You ought to come out of + it; and, look here, let us take advantage of an opportunity. I have found + a young lady for you that asks no better than to buy your reading-room. + She is a ruined woman with nothing before her but a plunge into the river; + but she had four thousand francs in cash, and the best thing to do is to + turn them to account, so as to feed and educate a couple of children.’ + </p> + <p> + “‘Very well. It is kind of you, Daddy Croizeau,’ said Antonia. + </p> + <p> + “‘Oh, I shall be much kinder before I have done. Just imagine it, poor M. + Denisart has been worried into the jaundice! Yes, it has gone to the + liver, as it usually does with susceptible old men. It is a pity he feels + things so. I told him so myself; I said, “Be passionate, there is no harm + in that, but as for taking things to heart—draw the line at that! It + is the way to kill yourself.”—Really, I would not have expected him + to take on so about it; a man that has sense enough and experience enough + to keep away as he does while he digests his dinner—’ + </p> + <p> + “‘But what is the matter?’ inquired Mlle. Chocardelle. + </p> + <p> + “‘That little baggage with whom I dined has cleared out and left him! ... + Yes. Gave him the slip without any warning but a letter, in which the + spelling was all to seek.’ + </p> + <p> + “‘There, Daddy Croizeau, you see what comes of boring a woman—’ + </p> + <p> + “‘It is indeed a lesson, my pretty lady,’ said the guileful Croizeau. + ‘Meanwhile, I have never seen a man in such a state. Our friend Denisart + cannot tell his left hand from his right; he will not go back to look at + the “scene of his happiness,” as he calls it. He has so thoroughly lost + his wits, that he proposes that I should buy all Hortense’s furniture + (Hortense was her name) for four thousand francs.’ + </p> + <p> + “‘A pretty name,’ said Antonia. + </p> + <p> + “‘Yes. Napoleon’s stepdaughter was called Hortense. I built carriages for + her, as you know.’ + </p> + <p> + “‘Very well, I will see,’ said cunning Antonia; ‘begin by sending this + young woman to me.’ + </p> + <p> + “Antonia hurried off to see the furniture, and came back fascinated. She + brought Maxime under the spell of antiquarian enthusiasm. That very + evening the Count agreed to the sale of the reading-room. The + establishment, you see, nominally belonged to Mlle. Chocardelle. Maxime + burst out laughing at the idea of little Croizeau’s finding him a buyer. + The firm of Maxime and Chocardelle was losing two thousand francs, it is + true, but what was the loss compared with four glorious thousand-franc + notes in hand? ‘Four thousand francs of live coin!—there are moments + in one’s life when one would sign bills for eight thousand to get them,’ + as the Count said to me. + </p> + <p> + “Two days later the Count must see the furniture himself, and took the + four thousand francs upon him. The sale had been arranged; thanks to + little Croizeau’s diligence, he pushed matters on; he had ‘come round’ the + widow, as he expressed it. It was Maxime’s intention to have all the + furniture removed at once to a lodging in a new house in the Rue Tronchet, + taken in the name of Mme. Ida Bonamy; he did not trouble himself much + about the nice old man that was about to lose his thousand francs. But he + had sent beforehand for several big furniture vans. + </p> + <p> + “Once again he was fascinated by the beautiful furniture which a wholesale + dealer would have valued at six thousand francs. By the fireside sat the + wretched owner, yellow with jaundice, his head tied up in a couple of + printed handkerchiefs, and a cotton night-cap on top of them; he was + huddled up in wrappings like a chandelier, exhausted, unable to speak, and + altogether so knocked to pieces that the Count was obliged to transact his + business with the man-servant. When he had paid down the four thousand + francs, and the servant had taken the money to his master for a receipt, + Maxime turned to tell the man to call up the vans to the door; but even as + he spoke, a voice like a rattle sounded in his ears. + </p> + <p> + “‘It is not worth while, Monsieur le Comte. You and I are quits; I have + six hundred and thirty francs fifteen centimes to give you!’ + </p> + <p> + “To his utter consternation, he saw Cerizet, emerged from his wrappings + like a butterfly from the chrysalis, holding out the accursed bundle of + documents. + </p> + <p> + “‘When I was down on my luck, I learned to act on the stage,’ added + Cerizet. ‘I am as good as Bouffe at old men.’ + </p> + <p> + “‘I have fallen among thieves!’ shouted Maxime. + </p> + <p> + “‘No, Monsieur le Comte, you are in Mlle. Hortense’s house. She is a + friend of old Lord Dudley’s; he keeps her hidden away here; but she has + the bad taste to like your humble servant.’ + </p> + <p> + “‘If ever I longed to kill a man,’ so the Count told me afterwards, ‘it + was at that moment; but what could one do? Hortense showed her pretty + face, one had to laugh. To keep my dignity, I flung her the six hundred + francs. “There’s for the girl,” said I.’” + </p> + <p> + “That is Maxime all over!” cried La Palferine. + </p> + <p> + “More especially as it was little Croizeau’s money,” added Cardot the + profound. + </p> + <p> + “Maxime scored a triumph,” continued Desroches, “for Hortense exclaimed, + ‘Oh, if I had only known that it was you!’” + </p> + <p> + “A pretty ‘confusion’ indeed!” put in Malaga. “You have lost, milord,” she + added turning to the notary. + </p> + <p> + And in this way the cabinetmaker, to whom Malaga owed a hundred crowns, + was paid. + </p> + <h3> + PARIS, 1845. + </h3> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <br /> <br /> <a name="link2H_4_0002" id="link2H_4_0002"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <h2> + ADDENDUM + </h2> + <h3> + The following personages appear in other stories of the Human Comedy. + </h3> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + Barbet + A Distinguished Provincial at Paris + The Seamy Side of History + The Middle Classes + + Bixiou, Jean-Jacques + The Purse + A Bachelor’s Establishment + The Government Clerks + Modeste Mignon + Scenes from a Courtesan’s Life + The Firm of Nucingen + The Muse of the Department + Cousin Betty + The Member for Arcis + Beatrix + Gaudissart II. + The Unconscious Humorists + Cousin Pons + + Cardot (Parisian notary) + The Muse of the Department + Jealousies of a Country Town + Pierre Grassou + The Middle Classes + Cousin Pons + + Cerizet + Lost Illusions + Scenes from a Courtesan’s Life + The Middle Classes + + Chaboisseau + A Distinguished Provincial at Paris + The Government Clerks + + Chocardelle, Mademoiselle + Beatrix + A Prince of Bohemia + Cousin Betty + The Member for Arcis + + Claparon, Charles + A Bachelor’s Establishment + Cesar Birotteau + Melmoth Reconciled + The Firm of Nucingen + The Middle Classes + + Desroches (son) + A Bachelor’s Establishment + Colonel Chabert + A Start in Life + A Woman of Thirty + The Commission in Lunacy + The Government Clerks + A Distinguished Provincial at Paris + Scenes from a Courtesan’s Life + The Firm of Nucingen + The Middle Classes + + Dudley, Lord + The Lily of the Valley + The Thirteen + Another Study of Woman + A Daughter of Eve + + Esgrignon, Victurnien, Comte (then Marquis d’) + Jealousies of a Country Town + Letters of Two Brides + The Secrets of a Princess + Cousin Betty + + Estourny, Charles d’ + Modeste Mignon + Scenes from a Courtesan’s Life + + Hortense + The Member for Arcis + + La Palferine, Comte de + A Prince of Bohemia + Cousin Betty + Beatrix + The Imaginary Mistress + + Lousteau, Etienne + A Distinguished Provincial at Paris + A Bachelor’s Establishment + Scenes from a Courtesan’s Life + A Daughter of Eve + Beatrix + The Muse of the Department + Cousin Betty + A Prince of Bohemia + The Middle Classes + The Unconscious Humorists + + Montcornet, Marechal, Comte de + Domestic Peace + Lost Illusions + A Distinguished Provincial at Paris + Scenes from a Courtesan’s Life + The Peasantry + Cousin Betty + + Nathan, Raoul + Lost Illusions + A Distinguished Provincial at Paris + Scenes from a Courtesan’s Life + The Secrets of a Princess + A Daughter of Eve + Letters of Two Brides + The Seamy Side of History + The Muse of the Department + A Prince of Bohemia + The Unconscious Humorists + + Nucingen, Baron Frederic de + The Firm of Nucingen + Father Goriot + Pierrette + Cesar Birotteau + Lost Illusions + A Distinguished Provincial at Paris + Scenes from a Courtesan’s Life + Another Study of Woman + The Secrets of a Princess + Cousin Betty + The Muse of the Department + The Unconscious Humorists + + Samanon + A Distinguished Provincial at Paris + The Government Clerks + Cousin Betty + + Trailles, Comte Maxime de + Cesar Birotteau + Father Goriot + Gobseck + Ursule Mirouet + The Member for Arcis + The Secrets of a Princess + Cousin Betty + Beatrix + The Unconscious Humorists + + Turquet, Marguerite + The Imaginary Mistress + The Muse of the Department + Cousin Betty +</pre> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of A Man of Business, by Honore de Balzac + +*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK A MAN OF BUSINESS *** + +***** This file should be named 1813-h.htm or 1813-h.zip ***** +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: + http://www.gutenberg.org/1/8/1/1813/ + +Produced by John Bickers, and Dagny + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: A Man of Business + +Author: Honore de Balzac + +Translator: Clara Bell and Others + +Release Date: July, 1999 [Etext #1813] +Posting Date: March 2, 2010 + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ASCII + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK A MAN OF BUSINESS *** + + + + +Produced by John Bickers, and Dagny + + + + + +A MAN OF BUSINESS + + +By Honore De Balzac + + + +Translated by Clara Bell and Others + + + + + DEDICATION + + To Monsieur le Baron James de Rothschild, Banker and + Austrian Consul-General at Paris. + + + + +A MAN OF BUSINESS + + +The word _lorette_ is a euphemism invented to describe the status of a +personage, or a personage of a status, of which it is awkward to +speak; the French Academie, in its modesty, having omitted to supply a +definition out of regard for the age of its forty members. Whenever a +new word comes to supply the place of an unwieldy circumlocution, its +fortune is assured; the word _lorette_ has passed into the language of +every class of society, even where the lorette herself will never gain +an entrance. It was only invented in 1840, and derived beyond a doubt +from the agglomeration of such swallows' nests about the Church of +Our Lady of Loretto. This information is for etymoligists only. Those +gentlemen would not be so often in a quandary if mediaeval writers had +only taken such pains with details of contemporary manners as we take in +these days of analysis and description. + +Mlle. Turquet, or Malaga, for she is better known by her pseudonym (See +_La fausse Maitresse_.), was one of the earliest parishioners of +that charming church. At the time to which this story belongs, that +lighthearted and lively damsel gladdened the existence of a notary with +a wife somewhat too bigoted, rigid, and frigid for domestic happiness. + +Now, it so fell out that one Carnival evening Maitre Cardot was +entertaining guests at Mlle. Turquet's house--Desroches the attorney, +Bixiou of the caricatures, Lousteau the journalist, Nathan, and others; +it is quite unnecessary to give any further description of these +personages, all bearers of illustrious names in the _Comedie Humaine_. +Young La Palferine, in spite of his title of Count and his great +descent, which, alas! means a great descent in fortune likewise, had +honored the notary's little establishment with his presence. + +At dinner, in such a house, one does not expect to meet the patriarchal +beef, the skinny fowl and salad of domestic and family life, nor is +there any attempt at the hypocritical conversation of drawing-rooms +furnished with highly respectable matrons. When, alas! will +respectability be charming? When will the women in good society +vouchsafe to show rather less of their shoulders and rather more wit or +geniality? Marguerite Turquet, the Aspasia of the Cirque-Olympique, is +one of those frank, very living personalities to whom all is forgiven, +such unconscious sinners are they, such intelligent penitents; of such +as Malaga one might ask, like Cardot--a witty man enough, albeit a +notary--to be well "deceived." And yet you must not think that any +enormities were committed. Desroches and Cardot were good fellows grown +too gray in the profession not to feel at ease with Bixiou, Lousteau, +Nathan, and young La Palferine. And they on their side had too often had +recourse to their legal advisers, and knew them too well to try to "draw +them out," in lorette language. + +Conversation, perfumed with seven cigars, at first was as fantastic as +a kid let loose, but finally it settled down upon the strategy of the +constant war waged in Paris between creditors and debtors. + +Now, if you will be so good as to recall the history and antecedents of +the guests, you will know that in all Paris, you could scarcely find a +group of men with more experience in this matter; the professional +men on one hand, and the artists on the other, were something in the +position of magistrates and criminals hobnobbing together. A set of +Bixiou's drawings to illustrate life in the debtors' prison, led the +conversation to take this particular turn; and from debtors' prisons +they went to debts. + +It was midnight. They had broken up into little knots round the table +and before the fire, and gave themselves up to the burlesque fun which +is only possible or comprehensible in Paris and in that particular +region which is bounded by the Faubourg Montmartre, the Rue Chaussee +d'Antin, the upper end of the Rue de Navarin and the line of the +boulevards. + +In ten minutes' time they had come to an end of all the deep +reflections, all the moralizings, small and great, all the bad puns made +on a subject already exhausted by Rabelais three hundred and fifty years +ago. It was not a little to their credit that the pyrotechnic display +was cut short with a final squib from Malaga. + +"It all goes to the shoemakers," she said. "I left a milliner because +she failed twice with my hats. The vixen has been here twenty-seven +times to ask for twenty francs. She did not know that we never have +twenty francs. One has a thousand francs, or one sends to one's notary +for five hundred; but twenty francs I have never had in my life. My +cook and my maid may, perhaps, have so much between them; but for my +own part, I have nothing but credit, and I should lose that if I took to +borrowing small sums. If I were to ask for twenty francs, I should have +nothing to distinguish me from my colleagues that walk the boulevard." + +"Is the milliner paid?" asked La Palferine. + +"Oh, come now, are you turning stupid?" said she, with a wink. "She came +this morning for the twenty-seventh time, that is how I came to mention +it." + +"What did you do?" asked Desroches. + +"I took pity upon her, and--ordered a little hat that I have just +invented, a quite new shape. If Mlle. Amanda succeeds with it, she will +say no more about the money, her fortune is made." + +"In my opinion," put in Desroches, "the finest things that I have seen +in a duel of this kind give those who know Paris a far better picture of +the city than all the fancy portraits that they paint. Some of you think +that you know a thing or two," he continued, glancing round at Nathan, +Bixiou, La Palferine, and Lousteau, "but the king of the ground is a +certain Count, now busy ranging himself. In his time, he was supposed +to be the cleverest, adroitest, canniest, boldest, stoutest, most subtle +and experienced of all the pirates, who, equipped with fine manners, +yellow kid gloves, and cabs, have ever sailed or ever will sail upon +the stormy seas of Paris. He fears neither God nor man. He applies in +private life the principles that guide the English Cabinet. Up to the +time of his marriage, his life was one continual war, like--Lousteau's, +for instance. I was, and am still his solicitor." + +"And the first letter of his name is Maxime de Trailles," said La +Palferine. + +"For that matter, he has paid every one, and injured no one," continued +Desroches. "But as your friend Bixiou was saying just now, it is a +violation of the liberty of the subject to be made to pay in March when +you have no mind to pay till October. By virtue of this article of his +particular code, Maxime regarded a creditor's scheme for making him pay +at once as a swindler's trick. It was a long time since he had grasped +the significance of the bill of exchange in all its bearings, direct +and remote. A young man once, in my place, called a bill of exchange +the 'asses' bridge' in his hearing. 'No,' said he, 'it is the Bridge of +Sighs; it is the shortest way to an execution.' Indeed, his knowledge +of commercial law was so complete, that a professional could not have +taught him anything. At that time he had nothing, as you know. His +carriage and horses were jobbed; he lived in his valet's house; and, by +the way, he will be a hero to his valet to the end of the chapter, even +after the marriage that he proposes to make. He belonged to three clubs, +and dined at one of them whenever he did not dine out. As a rule, he was +to be found very seldom at his own address--" + +"He once said to me," interrupted La Palferine, "'My one affectation is +the pretence that I make of living in the Rue Pigalle.'" + +"Well," resumed Desroches, "he was one of the combatants; and now for +the other. You have heard more or less talk of one Claparon?" + +"Had hair like this!" cried Bixiou, ruffling his locks till they stood +on end. Gifted with the same talent for mimicking absurdities which +Chopin the pianist possesses to so high a degree, he proceeded forthwith +to represent the character with startling truth. + +"He rolls his head like this when he speaks; he was once a commercial +traveler; he has been all sorts of things--" + +"Well, he was born to travel, for at this minute, as I speak, he is on +the sea on his way to America," said Desroches. "It is his only chance, +for in all probability he will be condemned by default as a fraudulent +bankrupt next session." + +"Very much at sea!" exclaimed Malaga. + +"For six or seven years this Claparon acted as man of straw, cat's paw, +and scapegoat to two friends of ours, du Tillet and Nucingen; but in +1829 his part was so well known that--" + +"Our friends dropped him," put in Bixiou. + +"They left him to his fate at last, and he wallowed in the mire," +continued Desroches. "In 1833 he went into partnership with one +Cerizet--" + +"What! he that promoted a joint-stock company so nicely that the Sixth +Chamber cut short his career with a couple of years in jail?" asked the +lorette. + +"The same. Under the Restoration, between 1823 and 1827, Cerizet's +occupation consisted in first putting his name intrepidly to various +paragraphs, on which the public prosecutor fastened with avidity, and +subsequently marching off to prison. A man could make a name for +himself with small expense in those days. The Liberal party called their +provincial champion 'the courageous Cerizet,' and towards 1828 so much +zeal received its reward in 'general interest.' + +"'General interest' is a kind of civic crown bestowed on the deserving +by the daily press. Cerizet tried to discount the 'general interest' +taken in him. He came to Paris, and, with some help from capitalists in +the Opposition, started as a broker, and conducted financial operations +to some extent, the capital being found by a man in hiding, a skilful +gambler who overreached himself, and in consequence, in July 1830, his +capital foundered in the shipwreck of the Government." + +"Oh! it was he whom we used to call the System," cried Bixiou. + +"Say no harm of him, poor fellow," protested Malaga. "D'Estourny was a +good sort." + +"You can imagine the part that a ruined man was sure to play in 1830 +when his name in politics was 'the courageous Cerizet.' He was sent off +into a very snug little sub-prefecture. Unluckily for him, it is one +thing to be in opposition--any missile is good enough to throw, so long +as the flight lasts; but quite another to be in office. Three months +later, he was obliged to send in his resignation. Had he not taken +it into his head to attempt to win popularity? Still, as he had done +nothing as yet to imperil his title of 'courageous Cerizet,' the +Government proposed by way of compensation that he should manage a +newspaper; nominally an Opposition newspaper, but Ministerialist +_in petto_. So the fall of this noble nature was really due to the +Government. To Cerizet, as manager of the paper, it was rather too +evident that he was as a bird perched on a rotten bough; and then it +was that he promoted that nice little joint-stock company, and thereby +secured a couple of years in prison; he was caught, while more ingenious +swindlers succeeded in catching the public." + +"We are acquainted with the more ingenious," said Bixiou; "let us say no +ill of the poor fellow; he was nabbed; Couture allowed them to squeeze +his cash-box; who would ever have thought it of him?" + +"At all events, Cerizet was a low sort of fellow, a good deal damaged by +low debauchery. Now for the duel I spoke about. Never did two tradesmen +of the worst type, with the worst manners, the lowest pair of +villains imaginable, go into partnership in a dirtier business. Their +stock-in-trade consisted of the peculiar idiom of the man about town, +the audacity of poverty, the cunning that comes of experience, and a +special knowledge of Parisian capitalists, their origin, connections, +acquaintances, and intrinsic value. This partnership of two 'dabblers' +(let the Stock Exchange term pass, for it is the only word which +describes them), this partnership of dabblers did not last very long. +They fought like famished curs over every bit of garbage. + +"The earlier speculations of the firm of Cerizet and Claparon were, +however, well planned. The two scamps joined forces with Barbet, +Chaboisseau, Samanon, and usurers of that stamp, and bought up +hopelessly bad debts. + +"Claparon's place of business at that time was a cramped entresol in the +Rue Chabannais--five rooms at a rent of seven hundred francs at +most. Each partner slept in a little closet, so carefully closed from +prudence, that my head-clerk could never get inside. The furniture of +the other three rooms--an ante-chamber, a waiting-room, and a private +office--would not have fetched three hundred francs altogether at a +distress-warrant sale. You know enough of Paris to know the look of +it; the stuffed horsehair-covered chairs, a table covered with a green +cloth, a trumpery clock between a couple of candle sconces, growing +tarnished under glass shades, the small gilt-framed mirror over the +chimney-piece, and in the grate a charred stick or two of firewood which +had lasted them for two winters, as my head-clerk put it. As for the +office, you can guess what it was like--more letter-files than business +letters, a set of common pigeon-holes for either partner, a cylinder +desk, empty as the cash-box, in the middle of the room, and a couple +of armchairs on either side of a coal fire. The carpet on the floor was +bought cheap at second-hand (like the bills and bad debts). In short, +it was the mahogany furniture of furnished apartments which usually +descends from one occupant of chambers to another during fifty years of +service. Now you know the pair of antagonists. + +"During the first three months of a partnership dissolved four months +later in a bout of fisticuffs, Cerizet and Claparon bought up two +thousand francs' worth of bills bearing Maxime's signature (since +Maxime was his name), and filled a couple of letters to bursting with +judgments, appeals, orders of the court, distress-warrants, application +for stay of proceedings, and all the rest of it; to put it briefly, they +had bills for three thousand two hundred francs odd centimes, for +which they had given five hundred francs; the transfer being made under +private seal, with special power of attorney, to save the expense of +registration. Now it so happened at this juncture, Maxime, being of ripe +age, was seized with one of the fancies peculiar to the man of fifty--" + +"Antonia!" exclaimed La Palferine. "That Antonia whose fortune I made by +writing to ask for a toothbrush!" + +"Her real name is Chocardelle," said Malaga, not over well pleased by +the fine-sounding pseudonym. + +"The same," continued Desroches. + +"It was the only mistake Maxime ever made in his life. But what would +you have, no vice is absolutely perfect?" put in Bixiou. + +"Maxime had still to learn what sort of a life a man may be led into by +a girl of eighteen when she is minded to take a header from her honest +garret into a sumptuous carriage; it is a lesson that all statesmen +should take to heart. At this time, de Marsay had just been employing +his friend, our friend de Trailles, in the high comedy of politics. +Maxime had looked high for his conquests; he had no experience of +untitled women; and at fifty years he felt that he had a right to take a +bite of the so-called wild fruit, much as a sportsman will halt under +a peasant's apple-tree. So the Count found a reading-room for Mlle. +Chocardelle, a rather smart little place to be had cheap, as usual--" + +"Pooh!" said Nathan. "She did not stay in it six months. She was too +handsome to keep a reading-room." + +"Perhaps you are the father of her child?" suggested the lorette. + +Desroches resumed. + +"Since the firm bought up Maxime's debts, Cerizet's likeness to a +bailiff's officer grew more and more striking, and one morning after +seven fruitless attempts he succeeded in penetrating into the Count's +presence. Suzon, the old man-servant, albeit he was by no means in his +novitiate, at last mistook the visitor for a petitioner, come to propose +a thousand crowns if Maxime would obtain a license to sell postage +stamps for a young lady. Suzon, without the slightest suspicion of the +little scamp, a thoroughbred Paris street-boy into whom prudence had +been rubbed by repeated personal experience of the police-courts, +induced his master to receive him. Can you see the man of business, +with an uneasy eye, a bald forehead, and scarcely any hair on his head, +standing in his threadbare jacket and muddy boots--" + +"What a picture of a Dun!" cried Lousteau. + +"--standing before the Count, that image of flaunting Debt, in his +blue flannel dressing-gown, slippers worked by some Marquise or other, +trousers of white woolen stuff, and a dazzling shirt? There he stood, +with a gorgeous cap on his black dyed hair, playing with the tassels at +his waist--" + +"'Tis a bit of genre for anybody who knows what the pretty little +morning room, hung with silk and full of valuable paintings, where +Maxime breakfasts," said Nathan. "You tread on a Smyrna carpet, you +admire the sideboards filled with curiosities and rarities fit to make a +King of Saxony envious--" + +"Now for the scene itself," said Desroches, and the deepest silence +followed. + +"'Monsieur le Comte,' began Cerizet, 'I have come from a M. Charles +Claparon, who used to be a banker--' + +"'Ah! poor devil, and what does he want with me?' + +"'Well, he is at present your creditor for a matter of three thousand +two hundred francs, seventy-five centimes, principal, interest, and +costs--' + +"'Coutelier's business?' put in Maxime, who knew his affairs as a pilot +knows his coast. + +"'Yes, Monsieur le Comte,' said Cerizet with a bow. 'I have come to ask +your intentions.' + +"'I shall only pay when the fancy takes me,' returned Maxime, and he +rang for Suzon. 'It was very rash of Claparon to buy up bills of mine +without speaking to me beforehand. I am sorry for him, for he did so +very well for such a long time as a man of straw for friends of mine. I +always said that a man must really be weak in his intellect to work for +men that stuff themselves with millions, and to serve them so faithfully +for such low wages. And now here he gives me another proof of his +stupidity! Yes, men deserve what they get. It is your own doing whether +you get a crown on your forehead or a bullet through your head; whether +you are a millionaire or a porter, justice is always done you. I +cannot help it, my dear fellow; I myself am not a king, I stick to my +principles. I have no pity for those that put me to expense or do +not know their business as creditors.--Suzon! my tea! Do you see this +gentleman?' he continued when the man came in. 'Well, you have allowed +yourself to be taken in, poor old boy. This gentleman is a creditor; +you ought to have known him by his boots. No friend nor foe of mine, +nor those that are neither and want something of me, come to see me on +foot.--My dear M. Cerizet, do you understand? You will not wipe your +boots on my carpet again' (looking as he spoke at the mud that whitened +the enemy's soles). 'Convey my compliments and sympathy to Claparon, +poor buffer, for I shall file this business under the letter Z.' + +"All this with an easy good-humor fit to give a virtuous citizen the +colic. + +"'You are wrong, Monsieur le Comte,' retorted Cerizet, in a slightly +peremptory tone. 'We will be paid in full, and that in a way which you +may not like. That is why I came to you first in a friendly spirit, as +is right and fit between gentlemen--' + +"'Oh! so that is how you understand it?' began Maxime, enraged by this +last piece of presumption. There was something of Talleyrand's wit in +the insolent retort, if you have quite grasped the contrast between +the two men and their costumes. Maxime scowled and looked full at the +intruder; Cerizet not merely endured the glare of cold fury, but even +returned it, with an icy, cat-like malignance and fixity of gaze. + +"'Very good, sir, go out--' + +"'Very well, good-day, Monsieur le Comte. We shall be quits before six +months are out.' + +"'If you can steal the amount of your bill, which is legally due I own, +I shall be indebted to you, sir,' replied Maxime. 'You will have taught +me a new precaution to take. I am very much your servant.' + +"'Monsieur le Comte,' said Cerizet, 'it is I, on the contrary, who am +yours.' + +"Here was an explicit, forcible, confident declaration on either side. +A couple of tigers confabulating, with the prey before them, and a fight +impending, would have been no finer and no shrewder than this pair; the +insolent fine gentleman as great a blackguard as the other in his soiled +and mud-stained clothes. + +"Which will you lay your money on?" asked Desroches, looking round at an +audience, surprised to find how deeply it was interested. + +"A pretty story!" cried Malaga. "My dear boy, go on, I beg of you. This +goes to one's heart." + +"Nothing commonplace could happen between two fighting-cocks of that +calibre," added La Palferine. + +"Pooh!" cried Malaga. "I will wager my cabinet-maker's invoice (the +fellow is dunning me) that the little toad was too many for Maxime." + +"I bet on Maxime," said Cardot. "Nobody ever caught him napping." + +Desroches drank off a glass that Malaga handed to him. + +"Mlle. Chocardelle's reading-room," he continued, after a pause, "was in +the Rue Coquenard, just a step or two from the Rue Pigalle where Maxime +was living. The said Mlle. Chocardelle lived at the back on the garden +side of the house, beyond a big dark place where the books were kept. +Antonia left her aunt to look after the business--" + +"Had she an aunt even then?" exclaimed Malaga. "Hang it all, Maxime did +things handsomely." + +"Alas! it was a real aunt," said Desroches; "her name was--let me +see----" + +"Ida Bonamy," said Bixiou. + +"So as Antonia's aunt took a good deal of the work off her hands, she +went to bed late and lay late of a morning, never showing her face at +the desk until the afternoon, some time between two and four. From the +very first her appearance was enough to draw custom. Several elderly +men in the quarter used to come, among them a retired coach-builder, +one Croizeau. Beholding this miracle of female loveliness through the +window-panes, he took it into his head to read the newspapers in the +beauty's reading-room; and a sometime custom-house officer, named +Denisart, with a ribbon in his button-hole, followed the example. +Croizeau chose to look upon Denisart as a rival. '_Monsieur_,' he said +afterwards, 'I did not know what to buy for you!' + +"That speech should give you an idea of the man. The Sieur Croizeau +happens to belong to a particular class of old man which should be known +as 'Coquerels' since Henri Monnier's time; so well did Monnier render +the piping voice, the little mannerisms, little queue, little sprinkling +of powder, little movements of the head, prim little manner, and +tripping gait in the part of Coquerel in _La Famille Improvisee_. This +Croizeau used to hand over his halfpence with a flourish and a 'There, +fair lady!' + +"Mme. Ida Bonamy the aunt was not long in finding out through a servant +that Croizeau, by popular report of the neighborhood of the Rue de +Buffault, where he lived, was a man of exceeding stinginess, possessed +of forty thousand francs per annum. A week after the instalment of the +charming librarian he was delivered of a pun: + +"'You lend me books (livres), but I give you plenty of francs in +return,' said he. + +"A few days later he put on a knowing little air, as much as to say, 'I +know you are engaged, but my turn will come one day; I am a widower.' + +"He always came arrayed in fine linen, a cornflower blue coat, a +paduasoy waistcoat, black trousers, and black ribbon bows on the double +soled shoes that creaked like an abbe's; he always held a fourteen franc +silk hat in his hand. + +"'I am old and I have no children,' he took occasion to confide to the +young lady some few days after Cerizet's visit to Maxime. 'I hold my +relations in horror. They are peasants born to work in the fields. Just +imagine it, I came up from the country with six francs in my pocket, and +made my fortune here. I am not proud. A pretty woman is my equal. Now +would it not be nicer to be Mme. Croizeau for some years to come than +to do a Count's pleasure for a twelvemonth? He will go off and leave +you some time or other; and when that day comes, you will think of me... +your servant, my pretty lady!' + +"All this was simmering below the surface. The slightest approach at +love-making was made quite on the sly. Not a soul suspected that the +trim little old fogy was smitten with Antonia; and so prudent was +the elderly lover, that no rival could have guessed anything from his +behavior in the reading-room. For a couple of months Croizeau watched +the retired custom-house official; but before the third month was out +he had good reason to believe that his suspicions were groundless. He +exerted his ingenuity to scrape an acquaintance with Denisart, came up +with him in the street, and at length seized his opportunity to remark, +'It is a fine day, sir!' + +"Whereupon the retired official responded with, 'Austerlitz weather, +sir. I was there myself--I was wounded indeed, I won my Cross on that +glorious day.' + +"And so from one thing to another the two drifted wrecks of the Empire +struck up an acquaintance. Little Croizeau was attached to the Empire +through his connection with Napoleon's sisters. He had been their +coach-builder, and had frequently dunned them for money; so he gave +out that he 'had had relations with the Imperial family.' Maxime, duly +informed by Antonia of the 'nice old man's' proposals (for so the aunt +called Croizeau), wished to see him. Cerizet's declaration of war had +so far taken effect that he of the yellow kid gloves was studying the +position of every piece, however insignificant, upon the board; and +it so happened that at the mention of that 'nice old man,' an ominous +tinkling sounded in his ears. One evening, therefore, Maxime seated +himself among the book-shelves in the dimly lighted back room, +reconnoitred the seven or eight customers through the chink between the +green curtains, and took the little coach-builder's measure. He gauged +the man's infatuation, and was very well satisfied to find that the +varnished doors of a tolerably sumptuous future were ready to turn at a +word from Antonia so soon as his own fancy had passed off. + +"'And that other one yonder?' asked he, pointing out the stout +fine-looking elderly man with the Cross of the Legion of Honor. 'Who is +he?' + +"'A retired custom-house officer.' + +"'The cut of his countenance is not reassuring,' said Maxime, beholding +the Sieur Denisart. + +"And indeed the old soldier held himself upright as a steeple. His head +was remarkable for the amount of powder and pomatum bestowed upon it; he +looked almost like a postilion at a fancy ball. Underneath that felted +covering, moulded to the top of the wearer's cranium, appeared an +elderly profile, half-official, half-soldierly, with a comical +admixture of arrogance,--altogether something like caricatures of +the _Constitutionnel_. The sometime official finding that age, and +hair-powder, and the conformation of his spine made it impossible to +read a word without spectacles, sat displaying a very creditable expanse +of chest with all the pride of an old man with a mistress. Like old +General Montcornet, that pillar of the Vaudeville, he wore earrings. +Denisart was partial to blue; his roomy trousers and well-worn greatcoat +were both of blue cloth. + +"'How long is it since that old fogy came here?' inquired Maxime, +thinking that he saw danger in the spectacles. + +"'Oh, from the beginning,' returned Antonia, 'pretty nearly two months +ago now.' + +"'Good," said Maxime to himself, 'Cerizet only came to me a month +ago.--Just get him to talk,' he added in Antonia's ear; 'I want to hear +his voice.' + +"'Pshaw,' said she, 'that is not so easy. He never says a word to me.' + +"'Then why does he come here?' demanded Maxime. + +"'For a queer reason,' returned the fair Antonia. 'In the first place, +although he is sixty-nine, he has a fancy; and because he is sixty-nine, +he is as methodical as a clock face. Every day at five o'clock the old +gentleman goes to dine with _her_ in the Rue de la Victoire. (I am sorry +for her.) Then at six o'clock, he comes here, reads steadily at the +papers for four hours, and goes back at ten o'clock. Daddy Croizeau says +that he knows M. Denisart's motives, and approves his conduct; and in +his place, he would do the same. So I know exactly what to expect. If +ever I am Mme. Croizeau, I shall have four hours to myself between six +and ten o'clock.' + +"Maxime looked through the directory, and found the following reassuring +item: + + "DENISART,* retired custom-house officer, Rue de la Victoire. + +"His uneasiness vanished. + +"Gradually the Sieur Denisart and the Sieur Croizeau began to exchange +confidences. Nothing so binds two men together as a similarity of +views in the matter of womankind. Daddy Croizeau went to dine with 'M. +Denisart's fair lady,' as he called her. And here I must make a somewhat +important observation. + +"The reading-room had been paid for half in cash, half in bills signed +by the said Mlle. Chocardelle. The _quart d'heure de Rabelais_ arrived; +the Count had no money. So the first bill of three thousand francs was +met by the amiable coach-builder; that old scoundrel Denisart having +recommended him to secure himself with a mortgage on the reading-room. + +"'For my own part,' said Denisart, 'I have seen pretty doings from +pretty women. So in all cases, even when I have lost my head, I am +always on my guard with a woman. There is this creature, for instance; I +am madly in love with her; but this is not her furniture; no, it belongs +to me. The lease is taken out in my name.' + +"You know Maxime! He thought the coach-builder uncommonly green. +Croizeau might pay all three bills, and get nothing for a long while; +for Maxime felt more infatuated with Antonia than ever." + +"I can well believe it," said La Palferine. "She is the _bella Imperia_ +of our day." + +"With her rough skin!" exclaimed Malaga; "so rough, that she ruins +herself in bran baths!" + +"Croizeau spoke with a coach-builder's admiration of the sumptuous +furniture provided by the amorous Denisart as a setting for his fair +one, describing it all in detail with diabolical complacency for +Antonia's benefit," continued Desroches. "The ebony chests inlaid +with mother-of-pearl and gold wire, the Brussels carpets, a mediaeval +bedstead worth three thousand francs, a Boule clock, candelabra in +the four corners of the dining-room, silk curtains, on which Chinese +patience had wrought pictures of birds, and hangings over the doors, +worth more than the portress that opened them. + +"'And that is what _you_ ought to have, my pretty lady.--And that is +what I should like to offer you,' he would conclude. 'I am quite aware +that you scarcely care a bit about me; but, at my age, we cannot expect +too much. Judge how much I love you; I have lent you a thousand francs. +I must confess that, in all my born days, I have not lent anybody _that_ +much----' + +"He held out his penny as he spoke, with the important air of a man that +gives a learned demonstration. + +"That evening at the Varietes, Antonia spoke to the Count. + +"'A reading-room is very dull, all the same,' said she; 'I feel that I +have no sort of taste for that kind of life, and I see no future in it. +It is only fit for a widow that wishes to keep body and soul together, +or for some hideously ugly thing that fancies she can catch a husband +with a little finery.' + +"'It was your own choice,' returned the Count. Just at that moment, in +came Nucingen, of whom Maxime, king of lions (the 'yellow kid gloves' +were the lions of that day) had won three thousand francs the evening +before. Nucingen had come to pay his gaming debt. + +"'Ein writ of attachment haf shoost peen served on me by der order of +dot teufel Glabaron,' he said, seeing Maxime's astonishment. + +"'Oh, so that is how they are going to work, is it?' cried Maxime. 'They +are not up to much, that pair--' + +"'It makes not,' said the banker, 'bay dem, for dey may apply demselfs +to oders pesides, und do you harm. I dake dees bretty voman to vitness +dot I haf baid you dees morning, long pefore dat writ vas serfed.'" + +"Queen of the boards," smiled La Palferine, looking at Malaga, "thou art +about to lose thy bet." + +"Once, a long time ago, in a similar case," resumed Desroches, "a too +honest debtor took fright at the idea of a solemn declaration in a court +of law, and declined to pay Maxime after notice was given. That time we +made it hot for the creditor by piling on writs of attachment, so as to +absorb the whole amount in costs--" + +"Oh, what is that?" cried Malaga; "it all sounds like gibberish to me. +As you thought the sturgeon so excellent at dinner, let me take out the +value of the sauce in lessons in chicanery." + +"Very well," said Desroches. "Suppose that a man owes you money, and +your creditors serve a writ of attachment upon him; there is nothing to +prevent all your other creditors from doing the same thing. And now what +does the court do when all the creditors make application for orders to +pay? _The court divides the whole sum attached, proportionately among +them all._ That division, made under the eye of a magistrate, is what +we call a _contribution_. If you owe ten thousand francs, and your +creditors issue writs of attachment on a debt due to you of a thousand +francs, each one of them gets so much per cent, 'so much in the pound,' +in legal phrase; so much (that means) in proportion to the amounts +severally claimed by the creditors. But--the creditors cannot touch the +money without a special order from the clerk of the court. Do you guess +what all this work drawn up by a judge and prepared by attorneys must +mean? It means a quantity of stamped paper full of diffuse lines and +blanks, the figures almost lost in vast spaces of completely empty ruled +columns. The first proceeding is to deduct the costs. Now, as the costs +are precisely the same whether the amount attached is one thousand or +one million francs, it is not difficult to eat up three thousand francs +(for instance) in costs, especially if you can manage to raise counter +applications." + +"And an attorney always manages to do it," said Cardot. "How many a +time one of you has come to me with, 'What is there to be got out of the +case?'" + +"It is particularly easy to manage it if the debtor eggs you on to +run up costs till they eat up the amount. And, as a rule, the Count's +creditors took nothing by that move, and were out of pocket in law and +personal expenses. To get money out of so experienced a debtor as the +Count, a creditor should really be in a position uncommonly difficult to +reach; it is a question of being creditor and debtor both, for then you +are legally entitled to work the confusion of rights, in law language--" + +"To the confusion of the debtor?" asked Malaga, lending an attentive ear +to this discourse. + +"No, the confusion of rights of debtor and creditor, and pay yourself +through your own hands. So Claparon's innocence in merely issuing writs +of attachment eased the Count's mind. As he came back from the Varietes +with Antonia, he was so much the more taken with the idea of selling +the reading-room to pay off the last two thousand francs of the +purchase-money, because he did not care to have his name made public +as a partner in such a concern. So he adopted Antonia's plan. Antonia +wished to reach the higher ranks of her calling, with splendid rooms, +a maid, and a carriage; in short, she wanted to rival our charming +hostess, for instance--" + +"She was not woman enough for that," cried the famous beauty of the +Circus; "still, she ruined young d'Esgrignon very neatly." + +"Ten days afterwards, little Croizeau, perched on his dignity, said +almost exactly the same thing, for the fair Antonia's benefit," +continued Desroches. + +"'Child,' said he, 'your reading-room is a hole of a place. You will +lose your complexion; the gas will ruin your eyesight. You ought to come +out of it; and, look here, let us take advantage of an opportunity. I +have found a young lady for you that asks no better than to buy your +reading-room. She is a ruined woman with nothing before her but a plunge +into the river; but she had four thousand francs in cash, and the best +thing to do is to turn them to account, so as to feed and educate a +couple of children.' + +"'Very well. It is kind of you, Daddy Croizeau,' said Antonia. + +"'Oh, I shall be much kinder before I have done. Just imagine it, poor +M. Denisart has been worried into the jaundice! Yes, it has gone to +the liver, as it usually does with susceptible old men. It is a pity he +feels things so. I told him so myself; I said, "Be passionate, there +is no harm in that, but as for taking things to heart--draw the line +at that! It is the way to kill yourself."--Really, I would not have +expected him to take on so about it; a man that has sense enough and +experience enough to keep away as he does while he digests his dinner--' + +"'But what is the matter?' inquired Mlle. Chocardelle. + +"'That little baggage with whom I dined has cleared out and left him! +... Yes. Gave him the slip without any warning but a letter, in which +the spelling was all to seek.' + +"'There, Daddy Croizeau, you see what comes of boring a woman--' + +"'It is indeed a lesson, my pretty lady,' said the guileful Croizeau. +'Meanwhile, I have never seen a man in such a state. Our friend Denisart +cannot tell his left hand from his right; he will not go back to look at +the "scene of his happiness," as he calls it. He has so thoroughly lost +his wits, that he proposes that I should buy all Hortense's furniture +(Hortense was her name) for four thousand francs.' + +"'A pretty name,' said Antonia. + +"'Yes. Napoleon's stepdaughter was called Hortense. I built carriages +for her, as you know.' + +"'Very well, I will see,' said cunning Antonia; 'begin by sending this +young woman to me.' + +"Antonia hurried off to see the furniture, and came back fascinated. +She brought Maxime under the spell of antiquarian enthusiasm. That +very evening the Count agreed to the sale of the reading-room. The +establishment, you see, nominally belonged to Mlle. Chocardelle. Maxime +burst out laughing at the idea of little Croizeau's finding him a buyer. +The firm of Maxime and Chocardelle was losing two thousand francs, it is +true, but what was the loss compared with four glorious thousand-franc +notes in hand? 'Four thousand francs of live coin!--there are moments in +one's life when one would sign bills for eight thousand to get them,' as +the Count said to me. + +"Two days later the Count must see the furniture himself, and took the +four thousand francs upon him. The sale had been arranged; thanks to +little Croizeau's diligence, he pushed matters on; he had 'come round' +the widow, as he expressed it. It was Maxime's intention to have all +the furniture removed at once to a lodging in a new house in the Rue +Tronchet, taken in the name of Mme. Ida Bonamy; he did not trouble +himself much about the nice old man that was about to lose his thousand +francs. But he had sent beforehand for several big furniture vans. + +"Once again he was fascinated by the beautiful furniture which a +wholesale dealer would have valued at six thousand francs. By the +fireside sat the wretched owner, yellow with jaundice, his head tied up +in a couple of printed handkerchiefs, and a cotton night-cap on top +of them; he was huddled up in wrappings like a chandelier, exhausted, +unable to speak, and altogether so knocked to pieces that the Count was +obliged to transact his business with the man-servant. When he had paid +down the four thousand francs, and the servant had taken the money to +his master for a receipt, Maxime turned to tell the man to call up the +vans to the door; but even as he spoke, a voice like a rattle sounded in +his ears. + +"'It is not worth while, Monsieur le Comte. You and I are quits; I have +six hundred and thirty francs fifteen centimes to give you!' + +"To his utter consternation, he saw Cerizet, emerged from his wrappings +like a butterfly from the chrysalis, holding out the accursed bundle of +documents. + +"'When I was down on my luck, I learned to act on the stage,' added +Cerizet. 'I am as good as Bouffe at old men.' + +"'I have fallen among thieves!' shouted Maxime. + +"'No, Monsieur le Comte, you are in Mlle. Hortense's house. She is a +friend of old Lord Dudley's; he keeps her hidden away here; but she has +the bad taste to like your humble servant.' + +"'If ever I longed to kill a man,' so the Count told me afterwards, 'it +was at that moment; but what could one do? Hortense showed her pretty +face, one had to laugh. To keep my dignity, I flung her the six hundred +francs. "There's for the girl," said I.'" + +"That is Maxime all over!" cried La Palferine. + +"More especially as it was little Croizeau's money," added Cardot the +profound. + +"Maxime scored a triumph," continued Desroches, "for Hortense exclaimed, +'Oh, if I had only known that it was you!'" + +"A pretty 'confusion' indeed!" put in Malaga. "You have lost, milord," +she added turning to the notary. + +And in this way the cabinetmaker, to whom Malaga owed a hundred crowns, +was paid. + + +PARIS, 1845. + + + + +ADDENDUM + +The following personages appear in other stories of the Human Comedy. + + Barbet + A Distinguished Provincial at Paris + The Seamy Side of History + The Middle Classes + + Bixiou, Jean-Jacques + The Purse + A Bachelor's Establishment + The Government Clerks + Modeste Mignon + Scenes from a Courtesan's Life + The Firm of Nucingen + The Muse of the Department + Cousin Betty + The Member for Arcis + Beatrix + Gaudissart II. + The Unconscious Humorists + Cousin Pons + + Cardot (Parisian notary) + The Muse of the Department + Jealousies of a Country Town + Pierre Grassou + The Middle Classes + Cousin Pons + + Cerizet + Lost Illusions + Scenes from a Courtesan's Life + The Middle Classes + + Chaboisseau + A Distinguished Provincial at Paris + The Government Clerks + + Chocardelle, Mademoiselle + Beatrix + A Prince of Bohemia + Cousin Betty + The Member for Arcis + + Claparon, Charles + A Bachelor's Establishment + Cesar Birotteau + Melmoth Reconciled + The Firm of Nucingen + The Middle Classes + + Desroches (son) + A Bachelor's Establishment + Colonel Chabert + A Start in Life + A Woman of Thirty + The Commission in Lunacy + The Government Clerks + A Distinguished Provincial at Paris + Scenes from a Courtesan's Life + The Firm of Nucingen + The Middle Classes + + Dudley, Lord + The Lily of the Valley + The Thirteen + Another Study of Woman + A Daughter of Eve + + Esgrignon, Victurnien, Comte (then Marquis d') + Jealousies of a Country Town + Letters of Two Brides + The Secrets of a Princess + Cousin Betty + + Estourny, Charles d' + Modeste Mignon + Scenes from a Courtesan's Life + + Hortense + The Member for Arcis + + La Palferine, Comte de + A Prince of Bohemia + Cousin Betty + Beatrix + The Imaginary Mistress + + Lousteau, Etienne + A Distinguished Provincial at Paris + A Bachelor's Establishment + Scenes from a Courtesan's Life + A Daughter of Eve + Beatrix + The Muse of the Department + Cousin Betty + A Prince of Bohemia + The Middle Classes + The Unconscious Humorists + + Montcornet, Marechal, Comte de + Domestic Peace + Lost Illusions + A Distinguished Provincial at Paris + Scenes from a Courtesan's Life + The Peasantry + Cousin Betty + + Nathan, Raoul + Lost Illusions + A Distinguished Provincial at Paris + Scenes from a Courtesan's Life + The Secrets of a Princess + A Daughter of Eve + Letters of Two Brides + The Seamy Side of History + The Muse of the Department + A Prince of Bohemia + The Unconscious Humorists + + Nucingen, Baron Frederic de + The Firm of Nucingen + Father Goriot + Pierrette + Cesar Birotteau + Lost Illusions + A Distinguished Provincial at Paris + Scenes from a Courtesan's Life + Another Study of Woman + The Secrets of a Princess + Cousin Betty + The Muse of the Department + The Unconscious Humorists + + Samanon + A Distinguished Provincial at Paris + The Government Clerks + Cousin Betty + + Trailles, Comte Maxime de + Cesar Birotteau + Father Goriot + Gobseck + Ursule Mirouet + The Member for Arcis + The Secrets of a Princess + Cousin Betty + Beatrix + The Unconscious Humorists + + Turquet, Marguerite + The Imaginary Mistress + The Muse of the Department + Cousin Betty + + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of A Man of Business, by Honore de Balzac + +*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK A MAN OF BUSINESS *** + +***** This file should be named 1813.txt or 1813.zip ***** +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: + http://www.gutenberg.org/1/8/1/1813/ + +Produced by John Bickers, and Dagny + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.net + + +Title: A Man of Business + +Author: Honore de Balzac + +Release Date: February 24, 2005 [EBook #1813] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ASCII + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK A MAN OF BUSINESS *** + + + + +Produced by Dagny; and John Bickers + + + + + + A MAN OF BUSINESS + + BY + + HONORE DE BALZAC + + + + Translated by Clara Bell and others + + + + DEDICATION + + To Monsieur le Baron James de Rothschild, Banker and + Austrian Consul-General at Paris. + + + + A MAN OF BUSINESS + + + +The word _lorette_ is a euphemism invented to describe the status of a +personage, or a personage of a status, of which it is awkward to +speak; the French Academie, in its modesty, having omitted to supply a +definition out of regard for the age of its forty members. Whenever a +new word comes to supply the place of an unwieldy circumlocution, its +fortune is assured; the word _lorette_ has passed into the language of +every class of society, even where the lorette herself will never gain +an entrance. It was only invented in 1840, and derived beyond a doubt +from the agglomeration of such swallows' nests about the Church of Our +Lady of Loretto. This information is for etymoligists only. Those +gentlemen would not be so often in a quandary if mediaeval writers had +only taken such pains with details of contemporary manners as we take +in these days of analysis and description. + +Mlle. Turquet, or Malaga, for she is better known by her pseudonym +(See _La fausse Maitresse_.), was one of the earliest parishioners of +that charming church. At the time to which this story belongs, that +lighthearted and lively damsel gladdened the existence of a notary +with a wife somewhat too bigoted, rigid, and frigid for domestic +happiness. + +Now, it so fell out that one Carnival evening Maitre Cardot was +entertaining guests at Mlle. Turquet's house--Desroches the attorney, +Bixiou of the caricatures, Lousteau the journalist, Nathan, and +others; it is quite unnecessary to give any further description of +these personages, all bearers of illustrious names in the _Comedie +Humaine_. Young La Palferine, in spite of his title of Count and his +great descent, which, alas! means a great descent in fortune likewise, +had honored the notary's little establishment with his presence. + +At dinner, in such a house, one does not expect to meet the +patriarchal beef, the skinny fowl and salad of domestic and family +life, nor is there any attempt at the hypocritical conversation of +drawing-rooms furnished with highly respectable matrons. When, alas! +will respectability be charming? When will the women in good society +vouchsafe to show rather less of their shoulders and rather more wit +or geniality? Marguerite Turquet, the Aspasia of the Cirque-Olympique, +is one of those frank, very living personalities to whom all is +forgiven, such unconscious sinners are they, such intelligent +penitents; of such as Malaga one might ask, like Cardot--a witty man +enough, albeit a notary--to be well "deceived." And yet you must not +think that any enormities were committed. Desroches and Cardot were +good fellows grown too gray in the profession not to feel at ease with +Bixiou, Lousteau, Nathan, and young La Palferine. And they on their +side had too often had recourse to their legal advisers, and knew them +too well to try to "draw them out," in lorette language. + +Conversation, perfumed with seven cigars, at first was as fantastic as +a kid let loose, but finally it settled down upon the strategy of the +constant war waged in Paris between creditors and debtors. + +Now, if you will be so good as to recall the history and antecedents +of the guests, you will know that in all Paris, you could scarcely +find a group of men with more experience in this matter; the +professional men on one hand, and the artists on the other, were +something in the position of magistrates and criminals hobnobbing +together. A set of Bixiou's drawings to illustrate life in the +debtors' prison, led the conversation to take this particular turn; +and from debtors' prisons they went to debts. + +It was midnight. They had broken up into little knots round the table +and before the fire, and gave themselves up to the burlesque fun which +is only possible or comprehensible in Paris and in that particular +region which is bounded by the Faubourg Montmartre, the Rue Chaussee +d'Antin, the upper end of the Rue de Navarin and the line of the +boulevards. + +In ten minutes' time they had come to an end of all the deep +reflections, all the moralizings, small and great, all the bad puns +made on a subject already exhausted by Rabelais three hundred and +fifty years ago. It was not a little to their credit that the +pyrotechnic display was cut short with a final squib from Malaga. + +"It all goes to the shoemakers," she said. "I left a milliner because +she failed twice with my hats. The vixen has been here twenty-seven +times to ask for twenty francs. She did not know that we never have +twenty francs. One has a thousand francs, or one sends to one's notary +for five hundred; but twenty francs I have never had in my life. My +cook and my maid may, perhaps, have so much between them; but for my +own part, I have nothing but credit, and I should lose that if I took +to borrowing small sums. If I were to ask for twenty francs, I should +have nothing to distinguish me from my colleagues that walk the +boulevard." + +"Is the milliner paid?" asked La Palferine. + +"Oh, come now, are you turning stupid?" said she, with a wink. "She +came this morning for the twenty-seventh time, that is how I came to +mention it." + +"What did you do?" asked Desroches. + +"I took pity upon her, and--ordered a little hat that I have just +invented, a quite new shape. If Mlle. Amanda succeeds with it, she +will say no more about the money, her fortune is made." + +"In my opinion," put in Desroches, "the finest things that I have seen +in a duel of this kind give those who know Paris a far better picture +of the city than all the fancy portraits that they paint. Some of you +think that you know a thing or two," he continued, glancing round at +Nathan, Bixiou, La Palferine, and Lousteau, "but the king of the +ground is a certain Count, now busy ranging himself. In his time, he +was supposed to be the cleverest, adroitest, canniest, boldest, +stoutest, most subtle and experienced of all the pirates, who, +equipped with fine manners, yellow kid gloves, and cabs, have ever +sailed or ever will sail upon the stormy seas of Paris. He fears +neither God nor man. He applies in private life the principles that +guide the English Cabinet. Up to the time of his marriage, his life +was one continual war, like--Lousteau's, for instance. I was, and am +still his solicitor." + +"And the first letter of his name is Maxime de Trailles," said La +Palferine. + +"For that matter, he has paid every one, and injured no one," +continued Desroches. "But as your friend Bixiou was saying just now, +it is a violation of the liberty of the subject to be made to pay in +March when you have no mind to pay till October. By virtue of this +article of his particular code, Maxime regarded a creditor's scheme +for making him pay at once as a swindler's trick. It was a long time +since he had grasped the significance of the bill of exchange in all +its bearings, direct and remote. A young man once, in my place, called +a bill of exchange the 'asses' bridge' in his hearing. 'No,' said he, +'it is the Bridge of Sighs; it is the shortest way to an execution.' +Indeed, his knowledge of commercial law was so complete, that a +professional could not have taught him anything. At that time he had +nothing, as you know. His carriage and horses were jobbed; he lived in +his valet's house; and, by the way, he will be a hero to his valet to +the end of the chapter, even after the marriage that he proposes to +make. He belonged to three clubs, and dined at one of them whenever he +did not dine out. As a rule, he was to be found very seldom at his own +address--" + +"He once said to me," interrupted La Palferine, "'My one affectation +is the pretence that I make of living in the Rue Pigalle.'" + +"Well," resumed Desroches, "he was one of the combatants; and now for +the other. You have heard more or less talk of one Claparon?" + +"Had hair like this!" cried Bixiou, ruffling his locks till they stood +on end. Gifted with the same talent for mimicking absurdities which +Chopin the pianist possesses to so high a degree, he proceeded +forthwith to represent the character with startling truth. + +"He rolls his head like this when he speaks; he was once a commercial +traveler; he has been all sorts of things--" + +"Well, he was born to travel, for at this minute, as I speak, he is on +the sea on his way to America," said Desroches. "It is his only +chance, for in all probability he will be condemned by default as a +fraudulent bankrupt next session." + +"Very much at sea!" exclaimed Malaga. + +"For six or seven years this Claparon acted as man of straw, cat's +paw, and scapegoat to two friends of ours, du Tillet and Nucingen; but +in 1829 his part was so well known that--" + +"Our friends dropped him," put in Bixiou. + +"They left him to his fate at last, and he wallowed in the mire," +continued Desroches. "In 1833 he went into partnership with one +Cerizet--" + +"What! he that promoted a joint-stock company so nicely that the Sixth +Chamber cut short his career with a couple of years in jail?" asked +the lorette. + +"The same. Under the Restoration, between 1823 and 1827, Cerizet's +occupation consisted in first putting his name intrepidly to various +paragraphs, on which the public prosecutor fastened with avidity, and +subsequently marching off to prison. A man could make a name for +himself with small expense in those days. The Liberal party called +their provincial champion 'the courageous Cerizet,' and towards 1828 +so much zeal received its reward in 'general interest.' + +"'General interest' is a kind of civic crown bestowed on the +deserving by the daily press. Cerizet tried to discount the 'general +interest' taken in him. He came to Paris, and, with some help from +capitalists in the Opposition, started as a broker, and conducted +financial operations to some extent, the capital being found by a man +in hiding, a skilful gambler who overreached himself, and in +consequence, in July 1830, his capital foundered in the shipwreck of +the Government." + +"Oh! it was he whom we used to call the System," cried Bixiou. + +"Say no harm of him, poor fellow," protested Malaga. "D'Estourny was a +good sort." + +"You can imagine the part that a ruined man was sure to play in 1830 +when his name in politics was 'the courageous Cerizet." He was sent +off into a very snug little sub-prefecture. Unluckily for him, it is +one thing to be in opposition--any missile is good enough to throw, so +long as the flight lasts; but quite another to be in office. Three +months later, he was obliged to send in his resignation. Had he not +taken it into his head to attempt to win popularity? Still, as he had +done nothing as yet to imperil his title of 'courageous Cerizet,' the +Government proposed by way of compensation that he should manage a +newspaper; nominally an Opposition newspaper, but Ministerialist _in +petto_. So the fall of this noble nature was really due to the +Government. To Cerizet, as manager of the paper, it was rather too +evident that he was as a bird perched on a rotten bough; and then it +was that he promoted that nice little joint-stock company, and thereby +secured a couple of years in prison; he was caught, while more +ingenious swindlers succeeded in catching the public." + +"We are acquainted with the more ingenious," said Bixiou; "let us say +no ill of the poor fellow; he was nabbed; Couture allowed them to +squeeze his cash-box; who would ever have thought it of him?" + +"At all events, Cerizet was a low sort of fellow, a good deal damaged +by low debauchery. Now for the duel I spoke about. Never did two +tradesmen of the worst type, with the worst manners, the lowest pair +of villains imaginable, go into partnership in a dirtier business. +Their stock-in-trade consisted of the peculiar idiom of the man about +town, the audacity of poverty, the cunning that comes of experience, +and a special knowledge of Parisian capitalists, their origin, +connections, acquaintances, and intrinsic value. This partnership of +two 'dabblers' (let the Stock Exchange term pass, for it is the only +word which describes them), this partnership of dabblers did not last +very long. They fought like famished curs over every bit of garbage. + +"The earlier speculations of the firm of Cerizet and Claparon were, +however, well planned. The two scamps joined forces with Barbet, +Chaboisseau, Samanon, and usurers of that stamp, and bought up +hopelessly bad debts. + +"Claparon's place of business at that time was a cramped entresol in +the Rue Chabannais--five rooms at a rent of seven hundred francs at +most. Each partner slept in a little closet, so carefully closed from +prudence, that my head-clerk could never get inside. The furniture of +the other three rooms--an ante-chamber, a waiting-room, and a private +office--would not have fetched three hundred francs altogether at a +distress-warrant sale. You know enough of Paris to know the look of +it; the stuffed horsehair-covered chairs, a table covered with a green +cloth, a trumpery clock between a couple of candle sconces, growing +tarnished under glass shades, the small gilt-framed mirror over the +chimney-piece, and in the grate a charred stick or two of firewood +which had lasted them for two winters, as my head-clerk put it. As for +the office, you can guess what it was like--more letter-files than +business letters, a set of common pigeon-holes for either partner, a +cylinder desk, empty as the cash-box, in the middle of the room, and a +couple of armchairs on either side of a coal fire. The carpet on the +floor was bought cheap at second-hand (like the bills and bad debts). +In short, it was the mahogany furniture of furnished apartments which +usually descends from one occupant of chambers to another during fifty +years of service. Now you know the pair of antagonists. + +"During the first three months of a partnership dissolved four months +later in a bout of fisticuffs, Cerizet and Claparon bought up two +thousand francs' worth of bills bearing Maxime's signature (since +Maxime was his name), and filled a couple of letters to bursting with +judgments, appeals, orders of the court, distress-warrants, +application for stay of proceedings, and all the rest of it; to put it +briefly, they had bills for three thousand two hundred francs odd +centimes, for which they had given five hundred francs; the transfer +being made under private seal, with special power of attorney, to save +the expense of registration. Now it so happened at this juncture, +Maxime, being of ripe age, was seized with one of the fancies peculiar +to the man of fifty--" + +"Antonia!" exclaimed La Palferine. "That Antonia whose fortune I made +by writing to ask for a toothbrush!" + +"Her real name is Chocardelle," said Malaga, not over well pleased by +the fine-sounding pseudonym. + +"The same," continued Desroches. + +"It was the only mistake Maxime ever made in his life. But what would +you have, no vice is absolutely perfect?" put in Bixiou. + +"Maxime had still to learn what sort of a life a man may be led into +by a girl of eighteen when she is minded to take a header from her +honest garret into a sumptuous carriage; it is a lesson that all +statesmen should take to heart. At this time, de Marsay had just been +employing his friend, our friend de Trailles, in the high comedy of +politics. Maxime had looked high for his conquests; he had no +experience of untitled women; and at fifty years he felt that he had a +right to take a bite of the so-called wild fruit, much as a sportsman +will halt under a peasant's apple-tree. So the Count found a +reading-room for Mlle. Chocardelle, a rather smart little place to be +had cheap, as usual--" + +"Pooh!" said Nathan. "She did not stay in it six months. She was too +handsome to keep a reading-room." + +"Perhaps you are the father of her child?" suggested the lorette. + +Desroches resumed. + +"Since the firm bought up Maxime's debts, Cerizet's likeness to a +bailiff's officer grew more and more striking, and one morning after +seven fruitless attempts he succeeded in penetrating into the Count's +presence. Suzon, the old man-servant, albeit he was by no means in his +novitiate, at last mistook the visitor for a petitioner, come to +propose a thousand crowns if Maxime would obtain a license to sell +postage stamps for a young lady. Suzon, without the slightest +suspicion of the little scamp, a thoroughbred Paris street-boy into +whom prudence had been rubbed by repeated personal experience of the +police-courts, induced his master to receive him. Can you see the man +of business, with an uneasy eye, a bald forehead, and scarcely any +hair on his head, standing in his threadbare jacket and muddy boots--" + +"What a picture of a Dun!" cried Lousteau. + +"--standing before the Count, that image of flaunting Debt, in his +blue flannel dressing-gown, slippers worked by some Marquise or other, +trousers of white woolen stuff, and a dazzling shirt? There he stood, +with a gorgeous cap on his black dyed hair, playing with the tassels +at his waist--" + +"'Tis a bit of genre for anybody who knows what the pretty little +morning room, hung with silk and full of valuable paintings, where +Maxime breakfasts," said Nathan. "You tread on a Smyrna carpet, you +admire the sideboards filled with curiosities and rarities fit to make +a King of Saxony envious--" + +"Now for the scene itself," said Desroches, and the deepest silence +followed. + +"'Monsieur le Comte,' began Cerizet, 'I have come from a M. Charles +Claparon, who used to be a banker--' + +"'Ah! poor devil, and what does he want with me?' + +"'Well, he is at present your creditor for a matter of three thousand +two hundred francs, seventy-five centimes, principal, interest, and +costs--' + +"'Coutelier's business?' put in Maxime, who knew his affairs as a +pilot knows his coast. + +"'Yes, Monsieur le Comte,' said Cerizet with a bow. 'I have come to +ask your intentions.' + +"'I shall only pay when the fancy takes me,' returned Maxime, and he +rang for Suzon. 'It was very rash of Claparon to buy up bills of mine +without speaking to me beforehand. I am sorry for him, for he did so +very well for such a long time as a man of straw for friends of mine. +I always said that a man must really be weak in his intellect to work +for men that stuff themselves with millions, and to serve them so +faithfully for such low wages. And now here he gives me another proof +of his stupidity! Yes, men deserve what they get. It is your own doing +whether you get a crown on your forehead or a bullet through your +head; whether you are a millionaire or a porter, justice is always +done you. I cannot help it, my dear fellow; I myself am not a king, I +stick to my principles. I have no pity for those that put me to +expense or do not know their business as creditors.--Suzon! my tea! Do +you see this gentleman?' he continued when the man came in. 'Well, you +have allowed yourself to be taken in, poor old boy. This gentleman is +a creditor; you ought to have known him by his boots. No friend nor +foe of mine, nor those that are neither and want something of me, come +to see me on foot.--My dear M. Cerizet, do you understand? You will +not wipe your boots on my carpet again' (looking as he spoke at the +mud that whitened the enemy's soles). 'Convey my compliments and +sympathy to Claparon, poor buffer, for I shall file this business +under the letter Z.' + +"All this with an easy good-humor fit to give a virtuous citizen the +colic. + +"'You are wrong, Monsieur le Comte,' retorted Cerizet, in a slightly +peremptory tone. 'We will be paid in full, and that in a way which you +may not like. That is why I came to you first in a friendly spirit, as +is right and fit between gentlemen--' + +"'Oh! so that is how you understand it?' began Maxime, enraged by +this last piece of presumption. There was something of Talleyrand's +wit in the insolent retort, if you have quite grasped the contrast +between the two men and their costumes. Maxime scowled and looked full +at the intruder; Cerizet not merely endured the glare of cold fury, +but even returned it, with an icy, cat-like malignance and fixity of +gaze. + +"'Very good, sir, go out--' + +"'Very well, good-day, Monsieur le Comte. We shall be quits before +six months are out.' + +"'If you can steal the amount of your bill, which is legally due I +own, I shall be indebted to you, sir,' replied Maxime. 'You will have +taught me a new precaution to take. I am very much your servant.' + +"'Monsieur le Comte,' said Cerizet, 'it is I, on the contrary, who am +yours.' + +"Here was an explicit, forcible, confident declaration on either side. +A couple of tigers confabulating, with the prey before them, and a +fight impending, would have been no finer and no shrewder than this +pair; the insolent fine gentleman as great a blackguard as the other +in his soiled and mud-stained clothes. + +"Which will you lay your money on?" asked Desroches, looking round at +an audience, surprised to find how deeply it was interested. + +"A pretty story!" cried Malaga. "My dear boy, go on, I beg of you. +This goes to one's heart." + +"Nothing commonplace could happen between two fighting-cocks of that +calibre," added La Palferine. + +"Pooh!" cried Malaga. "I will wager my cabinet-maker's invoice (the +fellow is dunning me) that the little toad was too many for Maxime." + +"I bet on Maxime," said Cardot. "Nobody ever caught him napping." + +Desroches drank off a glass that Malaga handed to him. + +"Mlle. Chocardelle's reading-room," he continued, after a pause, "was +in the Rue Coquenard, just a step or two from the Rue Pigalle where +Maxime was living. The said Mlle. Chocardelle lived at the back on the +garden side of the house, beyond a big dark place where the books were +kept. Antonia left her aunt to look after the business--" + +"Had she an aunt even then?" exclaimed Malaga. "Hang it all, Maxime +did things handsomely." + +"Alas! it was a real aunt," said Desroches; "her name was--let me +see----" + +"Ida Bonamy," said Bixiou. + +"So as Antonia's aunt took a good deal of the work off her hands, she +went to bed late and lay late of a morning, never showing her face at +the desk until the afternoon, some time between two and four. From the +very first her appearance was enough to draw custom. Several elderly +men in the quarter used to come, among them a retired coach-builder, +one Croizeau. Beholding this miracle of female loveliness through the +window-panes, he took it into his head to read the newspapers in the +beauty's reading-room; and a sometime custom-house officer, named +Denisart, with a ribbon in his button-hole, followed the example. +Croizeau chose to look upon Denisart as a rival. '_Monsieur_,' he said +afterwards, 'I did not know what to buy for you!' + +"That speech should give you an idea of the man. The Sieur Croizeau +happens to belong to a particular class of old man which should be +known as 'Coquerels' since Henri Monnier's time; so well did Monnier +render the piping voice, the little mannerisms, little queue, little +sprinkling of powder, little movements of the head, prim little +manner, and tripping gait in the part of Coquerel in _La Famille +Improvisee_. This Croizeau used to hand over his halfpence with a +flourish and a 'There, fair lady!' + +"Mme. Ida Bonamy the aunt was not long in finding out through a +servant that Croizeau, by popular report of the neighborhood of the +Rue de Buffault, where he lived, was a man of exceeding stinginess, +possessed of forty thousand francs per annum. A week after the +instalment of the charming librarian he was delivered of a pun: + +"'You lend me books (livres), but I give you plenty of francs in +return,' said he. + +"A few days later he put on a knowing little air, as much as to say, +'I know you are engaged, but my turn will come one day; I am a +widower.' + +"He always came arrayed in fine linen, a cornflower blue coat, a +paduasoy waistcoat, black trousers, and black ribbon bows on the +double soled shoes that creaked like an abbe's; he always held a +fourteen franc silk hat in his hand. + +"'I am old and I have no children,' he took occasion to confide to +the young lady some few days after Cerizet's visit to Maxime. 'I hold +my relations in horror. They are peasants born to work in the fields. +Just imagine it, I came up from the country with six francs in my +pocket, and made my fortune here. I am not proud. A pretty woman is my +equal. Now would it not be nicer to be Mme. Croizeau for some years to +come than to do a Count's pleasure for a twelvemonth? He will go off +and leave you some time or other; and when that day comes, you will +think of me . . . your servant, my pretty lady!' + +"All this was simmering below the surface. The slightest approach at +love-making was made quite on the sly. Not a soul suspected that the +trim little old fogy was smitten with Antonia; and so prudent was the +elderly lover, that no rival could have guessed anything from his +behavior in the reading-room. For a couple of months Croizeau watched +the retired custom-house official; but before the third month was out +he had good reason to believe that his suspicions were groundless. He +exerted his ingenuity to scrape an acquaintance with Denisart, came up +with him in the street, and at length seized his opportunity to +remark, 'It is a fine day, sir!' + +"Whereupon the retired official responded with, 'Austerlitz weather, +sir. I was there myself--I was wounded indeed, I won my Cross on that +glorious day.' + +"And so from one thing to another the two drifted wrecks of the Empire +struck up an acquaintance. Little Croizeau was attached to the Empire +through his connection with Napoleon's sisters. He had been their +coach-builder, and had frequently dunned them for money; so he gave +out that he 'had had relations with the Imperial family.' Maxime, duly +informed by Antonia of the 'nice old man's' proposals (for so the aunt +called Croizeau), wished to see him. Cerizet's declaration of war had +so far taken effect that he of the yellow kid gloves was studying the +position of every piece, however insignificant, upon the board; and it +so happened that at the mention of that 'nice old man,' an ominous +tinkling sounded in his ears. One evening, therefore, Maxime seated +himself among the book-shelves in the dimly lighted back room, +reconnoitred the seven or eight customers through the chink between +the green curtains, and took the little coach-builder's measure. He +gauged the man's infatuation, and was very well satisfied to find that +the varnished doors of a tolerably sumptuous future were ready to turn +at a word from Antonia so soon as his own fancy had passed off. + +"'And that other one yonder?' asked he, pointing out the stout +fine-looking elderly man with the Cross of the Legion of Honor. 'Who +is he?' + +"'A retired custom-house officer.' + +"'The cut of his countenance is not reassuring,' said Maxime, +beholding the Sieur Denisart. + +"And indeed the old soldier held himself upright as a steeple. His +head was remarkable for the amount of powder and pomatum bestowed upon +it; he looked almost like a postilion at a fancy ball. Underneath that +felted covering, moulded to the top of the wearer's cranium, appeared +an elderly profile, half-official, half-soldierly, with a comical +admixture of arrogance,--altogether something like caricatures of the +_Constitutionnel_. The sometime official finding that age, and +hair-powder, and the conformation of his spine made it impossible to +read a word without spectacles, sat displaying a very creditable +expanse of chest with all the pride of an old man with a mistress. Like +old General Montcornet, that pillar of the Vaudeville, he wore earrings. +Denisart was partial to blue; his roomy trousers and well-worn +greatcoat were both of blue cloth. + +"'How long is it since that old fogy came here?' inquired Maxime, +thinking that he saw danger in the spectacles. + +"'Oh, from the beginning,' returned Antonia, 'pretty nearly two +months ago now.' + +"'Good," said Maxime to himself, 'Cerizet only came to me a month +ago.--Just get him to talk,' he added in Antonia's ear; 'I want to +hear his voice.' + +"'Pshaw,' said she, 'that is not so easy. He never says a word to +me.' + +"'Then why does he come here?' demanded Maxime. + +"'For a queer reason,' returned the fair Antonia. 'In the first +place, although he is sixty-nine, he has a fancy; and because he is +sixty-nine, he is as methodical as a clock face. Every day at five +o'clock the old gentleman goes to dine with _her_ in the Rue de la +Victoire. (I am sorry for her.) Then at six o'clock, he comes here, +reads steadily at the papers for four hours, and goes back at ten +o'clock. Daddy Croizeau says that he knows M. Denisart's motives, and +approves his conduct; and in his place, he would do the same. So I +know exactly what to expect. If ever I am Mme. Croizeau, I shall have +four hours to myself between six and ten o'clock.' + +"Maxime looked through the directory, and found the following +reassuring item: + + "DENISART,* retired custom-house officer, Rue de la Victoire. + +"His uneasiness vanished. + +"Gradually the Sieur Denisart and the Sieur Croizeau began to exchange +confidences. Nothing so binds two men together as a similarity of +views in the matter of womankind. Daddy Croizeau went to dine with 'M. +Denisart's fair lady,' as he called her. And here I must make a +somewhat important observation. + +"The reading-room had been paid for half in cash, half in bills signed +by the said Mlle. Chocardelle. The _quart d'heure de Rabelais_ +arrived; the Count had no money. So the first bill of three thousand +francs was met by the amiable coach-builder; that old scoundrel +Denisart having recommended him to secure himself with a mortgage on +the reading-room. + +"'For my own part,' said Denisart, 'I have seen pretty doings from +pretty women. So in all cases, even when I have lost my head, I am +always on my guard with a woman. There is this creature, for instance; +I am madly in love with her; but this is not her furniture; no, it +belongs to me. The lease is taken out in my name.' + +"You know Maxime! He thought the coach-builder uncommonly green. +Croizeau might pay all three bills, and get nothing for a long while; +for Maxime felt more infatuated with Antonia than ever." + +"I can well believe it," said La Palferine. "She is the _bella +Imperia_ of our day." + +"With her rough skin!" exclaimed Malaga; "so rough, that she ruins +herself in bran baths!" + +"Croizeau spoke with a coach-builder's admiration of the sumptuous +furniture provided by the amorous Denisart as a setting for his fair +one, describing it all in detail with diabolical complacency for +Antonia's benefit," continued Desroches. "The ebony chests inlaid with +mother-of-pearl and gold wire, the Brussels carpets, a mediaeval +bedstead worth three thousand francs, a Boule clock, candelabra in the +four corners of the dining-room, silk curtains, on which Chinese +patience had wrought pictures of birds, and hangings over the doors, +worth more than the portress that opened them. + +"'And that is what _you_ ought to have, my pretty lady.--And that is +what I should like to offer you,' he would conclude. 'I am quite aware +that you scarcely care a bit about me; but, at my age, we cannot +expect too much. Judge how much I love you; I have lent you a thousand +francs. I must confess that, in all my born days, I have not lent +anybody _that_ much----' + +"He held out his penny as he spoke, with the important air of a man +that gives a learned demonstration. + +"That evening at the Varietes, Antonia spoke to the Count. + +"'A reading-room is very dull, all the same,' said she; 'I feel that +I have no sort of taste for that kind of life, and I see no future in +it. It is only fit for a widow that wishes to keep body and soul +together, or for some hideously ugly thing that fancies she can catch +a husband with a little finery.' + +"'It was your own choice,' returned the Count. Just at that moment, +in came Nucingen, of whom Maxime, king of lions (the 'yellow kid +gloves' were the lions of that day) had won three thousand francs the +evening before. Nucingen had come to pay his gaming debt. + +"'Ein writ of attachment haf shoost peen served on me by der order of +dot teufel Glabaron,' he said, seeing Maxime's astonishment. + +"'Oh, so that is how they are going to work, is it?' cried Maxime. +'They are not up to much, that pair--' + +"'It makes not,' said the banker, 'bay dem, for dey may apply +demselfs to oders pesides, und do you harm. I dake dees bretty voman +to vitness dot I haf baid you dees morning, long pefore dat writ vas +serfed.'" + +"Queen of the boards," smiled La Palferine, looking at Malaga, "thou +art about to lose thy bet." + +"Once, a long time ago, in a similar case," resumed Desroches, "a too +honest debtor took fright at the idea of a solemn declaration in a +court of law, and declined to pay Maxime after notice was given. That +time we made it hot for the creditor by piling on writs of attachment, +so as to absorb the whole amount in costs--" + +"Oh, what is that?" cried Malaga; "it all sounds like gibberish to me. +As you thought the sturgeon so excellent at dinner, let me take out +the value of the sauce in lessons in chicanery." + +"Very well," said Desroches. "Suppose that a man owes you money, and +your creditors serve a writ of attachment upon him; there is nothing +to prevent all your other creditors from doing the same thing. And now +what does the court do when all the creditors make application for +orders to pay? _The court divides the whole sum attached, +proportionately among them all._ That division, made under the eye of +a magistrate, is what we call a _contribution_. If you owe ten +thousand francs, and your creditors issue writs of attachment on a +debt due to you of a thousand francs, each one of them gets so much +per cent, 'so much in the pound,' in legal phrase; so much (that +means) in proportion to the amounts severally claimed by the +creditors. But--the creditors cannot touch the money without a special +order from the clerk of the court. Do you guess what all this work +drawn up by a judge and prepared by attorneys must mean? It means a +quantity of stamped paper full of diffuse lines and blanks, the +figures almost lost in vast spaces of completely empty ruled columns. +The first proceeding is to deduct the costs. Now, as the costs are +precisely the same whether the amount attached is one thousand or one +million francs, it is not difficult to eat up three thousand francs +(for instance) in costs, especially if you can manage to raise counter +applications." + +"And an attorney always manages to do it," said Cardot. "How many a +time one of you has come to me with, 'What is there to be got out of +the case?'" + +"It is particularly easy to manage it if the debtor eggs you on to run +up costs till they eat up the amount. And, as a rule, the Count's +creditors took nothing by that move, and were out of pocket in law and +personal expenses. To get money out of so experienced a debtor as the +Count, a creditor should really be in a position uncommonly difficult +to reach; it is a question of being creditor and debtor both, for then +you are legally entitled to work the confusion of rights, in law +language--" + +"To the confusion of the debtor?" asked Malaga, lending an attentive +ear to this discourse. + +"No, the confusion of rights of debtor and creditor, and pay yourself +through your own hands. So Claparon's innocence in merely issuing +writs of attachment eased the Count's mind. As he came back from the +Varietes with Antonia, he was so much the more taken with the idea of +selling the reading-room to pay off the last two thousand francs of +the purchase-money, because he did not care to have his name made +public as a partner in such a concern. So he adopted Antonia's plan. +Antonia wished to reach the higher ranks of her calling, with splendid +rooms, a maid, and a carriage; in short, she wanted to rival our +charming hostess, for instance--" + +"She was not woman enough for that," cried the famous beauty of the +Circus; "still, she ruined young d'Esgrignon very neatly." + +"Ten days afterwards, little Croizeau, perched on his dignity, said +almost exactly the same thing, for the fair Antonia's benefit," +continued Desroches. + +"'Child,' said he, 'your reading-room is a hole of a place. You will +lose your complexion; the gas will ruin your eyesight. You ought to +come out of it; and, look here, let us take advantage of an +opportunity. I have found a young lady for you that asks no better +than to buy your reading-room. She is a ruined woman with nothing +before her but a plunge into the river; but she had four thousand +francs in cash, and the best thing to do is to turn them to account, +so as to feed and educate a couple of children.' + +"'Very well. It is kind of you, Daddy Croizeau,' said Antonia. + +"'Oh, I shall be much kinder before I have done. Just imagine it, +poor M. Denisart has been worried into the jaundice! Yes, it has gone +to the liver, as it usually does with susceptible old men. It is a +pity he feels things so. I told him so myself; I said, "Be passionate, +there is no harm in that, but as for taking things to heart--draw the +line at that! It is the way to kill yourself."--Really, I would not +have expected him to take on so about it; a man that has sense enough +and experience enough to keep away as he does while he digests his +dinner--' + +"'But what is the matter?' inquired Mlle. Chocardelle. + +"'That little baggage with whom I dined has cleared out and left him! +. . . Yes. Gave him the slip without any warning but a letter, in +which the spelling was all to seek.' + +"'There, Daddy Croizeau, you see what comes of boring a woman--' + +"'It is indeed a lesson, my pretty lady,' said the guileful Croizeau. +'Meanwhile, I have never seen a man in such a state. Our friend +Denisart cannot tell his left hand from his right; he will not go back +to look at the "scene of his happiness," as he calls it. He has so +thoroughly lost his wits, that he proposes that I should buy all +Hortense's furniture (Hortense was her name) for four thousand +francs.' + +"'A pretty name,' said Antonia. + +"'Yes. Napoleon's stepdaughter was called Hortense. I built carriages +for her, as you know.' + +"'Very well, I will see,' said cunning Antonia; 'begin by sending +this young woman to me.' + +"Antonia hurried off to see the furniture, and came back fascinated. +She brought Maxime under the spell of antiquarian enthusiasm. That +very evening the Count agreed to the sale of the reading-room. The +establishment, you see, nominally belonged to Mlle. Chocardelle. +Maxime burst out laughing at the idea of little Croizeau's finding him +a buyer. The firm of Maxime and Chocardelle was losing two thousand +francs, it is true, but what was the loss compared with four glorious +thousand-franc notes in hand? 'Four thousand francs of live coin! +--there are moments in one's life when one would sign bills for eight +thousand to get them,' as the Count said to me. + +"Two days later the Count must see the furniture himself, and took the +four thousand francs upon him. The sale had been arranged; thanks to +little Croizeau's diligence, he pushed matters on; he had 'come round' +the widow, as he expressed it. It was Maxime's intention to have all +the furniture removed at once to a lodging in a new house in the Rue +Tronchet, taken in the name of Mme. Ida Bonamy; he did not trouble +himself much about the nice old man that was about to lose his +thousand francs. But he had sent beforehand for several big furniture +vans. + +"Once again he was fascinated by the beautiful furniture which a +wholesale dealer would have valued at six thousand francs. By the +fireside sat the wretched owner, yellow with jaundice, his head tied +up in a couple of printed handkerchiefs, and a cotton night-cap on top +of them; he was huddled up in wrappings like a chandelier, exhausted, +unable to speak, and altogether so knocked to pieces that the Count +was obliged to transact his business with the man-servant. When he had +paid down the four thousand francs, and the servant had taken the +money to his master for a receipt, Maxime turned to tell the man to +call up the vans to the door; but even as he spoke, a voice like a +rattle sounded in his ears. + +"'It is not worth while, Monsieur le Comte. You and I are quits; I +have six hundred and thirty francs fifteen centimes to give you!' + +"To his utter consternation, he saw Cerizet, emerged from his +wrappings like a butterfly from the chrysalis, holding out the +accursed bundle of documents. + +"'When I was down on my luck, I learned to act on the stage,' added +Cerizet. 'I am as good as Bouffe at old men.' + +"'I have fallen among thieves!' shouted Maxime. + +"'No, Monsieur le Comte, you are in Mlle. Hortense's house. She is a +friend of old Lord Dudley's; he keeps her hidden away here; but she +has the bad taste to like your humble servant.' + +"'If ever I longed to kill a man,' so the Count told me afterwards, +'it was at that moment; but what could one do? Hortense showed her +pretty face, one had to laugh. To keep my dignity, I flung her the six +hundred francs. "There's for the girl," said I.'" + +"That is Maxime all over!" cried La Palferine. + +"More especially as it was little Croizeau's money," added Cardot the +profound. + +"Maxime scored a triumph," continued Desroches, "for Hortense +exclaimed, 'Oh, if I had only known that it was you!'" + +"A pretty 'confusion' indeed!" put in Malaga. "You have lost, milord," +she added turning to the notary. + +And in this way the cabinetmaker, to whom Malaga owed a hundred +crowns, was paid. + + + +PARIS, 1845. + + + +ADDENDUM + +The following personages appear in other stories of the Human Comedy. + +Barbet + A Distinguished Provincial at Paris + The Seamy Side of History + The Middle Classes + +Bixiou, Jean-Jacques + The Purse + A Bachelor's Establishment + The Government Clerks + Modeste Mignon + Scenes from a Courtesan's Life + The Firm of Nucingen + The Muse of the Department + Cousin Betty + The Member for Arcis + Beatrix + Gaudissart II. + The Unconscious Humorists + Cousin Pons + +Cardot (Parisian notary) + The Muse of the Department + Jealousies of a Country Town + Pierre Grassou + The Middle Classes + Cousin Pons + +Cerizet + Lost Illusions + Scenes from a Courtesan's Life + The Middle Classes + +Chaboisseau + A Distinguished Provincial at Paris + The Government Clerks + +Chocardelle, Mademoiselle + Beatrix + A Prince of Bohemia + Cousin Betty + The Member for Arcis + +Claparon, Charles + A Bachelor's Establishment + Cesar Birotteau + Melmoth Reconciled + The Firm of Nucingen + The Middle Classes + +Desroches (son) + A Bachelor's Establishment + Colonel Chabert + A Start in Life + A Woman of Thirty + The Commission in Lunacy + The Government Clerks + A Distinguished Provincial at Paris + Scenes from a Courtesan's Life + The Firm of Nucingen + The Middle Classes + +Dudley, Lord + The Lily of the Valley + The Thirteen + Another Study of Woman + A Daughter of Eve + +Esgrignon, Victurnien, Comte (then Marquis d') + Jealousies of a Country Town + Letters of Two Brides + The Secrets of a Princess + Cousin Betty + +Estourny, Charles d' + Modeste Mignon + Scenes from a Courtesan's Life + +Hortense + The Member for Arcis + +La Palferine, Comte de + A Prince of Bohemia + Cousin Betty + Beatrix + The Imaginary Mistress + +Lousteau, Etienne + A Distinguished Provincial at Paris + A Bachelor's Establishment + Scenes from a Courtesan's Life + A Daughter of Eve + Beatrix + The Muse of the Department + Cousin Betty + A Prince of Bohemia + The Middle Classes + The Unconscious Humorists + +Montcornet, Marechal, Comte de + Domestic Peace + Lost Illusions + A Distinguished Provincial at Paris + Scenes from a Courtesan's Life + The Peasantry + Cousin Betty + +Nathan, Raoul + Lost Illusions + A Distinguished Provincial at Paris + Scenes from a Courtesan's Life + The Secrets of a Princess + A Daughter of Eve + Letters of Two Brides + The Seamy Side of History + The Muse of the Department + A Prince of Bohemia + The Unconscious Humorists + +Nucingen, Baron Frederic de + The Firm of Nucingen + Father Goriot + Pierrette + Cesar Birotteau + Lost Illusions + A Distinguished Provincial at Paris + Scenes from a Courtesan's Life + Another Study of Woman + The Secrets of a Princess + Cousin Betty + The Muse of the Department + The Unconscious Humorists + +Samanon + A Distinguished Provincial at Paris + The Government Clerks + Cousin Betty + +Trailles, Comte Maxime de + Cesar Birotteau + Father Goriot + Gobseck + Ursule Mirouet + The Member for Arcis + The Secrets of a Princess + Cousin Betty + Beatrix + The Unconscious Humorists + +Turquet, Marguerite + The Imaginary Mistress + The Muse of the Department + Cousin Betty + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of A Man of Business, by Honore de Balzac + +*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK A MAN OF BUSINESS *** + +***** This file should be named 1813.txt or 1813.zip ***** +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: + http://www.gutenberg.net/1/8/1/1813/ + +Produced by Dagny; and John Bickers + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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Clara Bell and others) + + + + + +Etext prepared by Dagny, dagnyj@hotmail.com +and John Bickers, jbickers@templar.actrix.gen.nz + + + + + +A Man of Business + +by Honore de Balzac + + + + +Translated by Clara Bell and others + + + + +DEDICATION + +To Monsieur le Baron James de Rothschild, Banker and +Austrian Consul-General at Paris. + + + + +A MAN OF BUSINESS + + + +The word /lorette/ is a euphemism invented to describe the status of a +personage, or a personage of a status, of which it is awkward to +speak; the French Academie, in its modesty, having omitted to supply a +definition out of regard for the age of its forty members. Whenever a +new word comes to supply the place of an unwieldy circumlocution, its +fortune is assured; the word /lorette/ has passed into the language of +every class of society, even where the lorette herself will never gain +an entrance. It was only invented in 1840, and derived beyond a doubt +from the agglomeration of such swallows' nests about the Church of Our +Lady of Loretto. This information is for etymoligists only. Those +gentlemen would not be so often in a quandary if mediaeval writers had +only taken such pains with details of contemporary manners as we take +in these days of analysis and description. + +Mlle. Turquet, or Malaga, for she is better known by her pseudonym +(See /La fausse Maitresse/.), was one of the earliest parishioners of +that charming church. At the time to which this story belongs, that +lighthearted and lively damsel gladdened the existence of a notary +with a wife somewhat too bigoted, rigid, and frigid for domestic +happiness. + +Now, it so fell out that one Carnival evening Maitre Cardot was +entertaining guests at Mlle. Turquet's house--Desroches the attorney, +Bixiou of the caricatures, Lousteau the journalist, Nathan, and +others; it is quite unnecessary to give any further description of +these personages, all bearers of illustrious names in the /Comedie +Humaine/. Young La Palferine, in spite of his title of Count and his +great descent, which, alas! means a great descent in fortune likewise, +had honored the notary's little establishment with his presence. + +At dinner, in such a house, one does not expect to meet the +patriarchal beef, the skinny fowl and salad of domestic and family +life, nor is there any attempt at the hypocritical conversation of +drawing-rooms furnished with highly respectable matrons. When, alas! +will respectability be charming? When will the women in good society +vouchsafe to show rather less of their shoulders and rather more wit +or geniality? Marguerite Turquet, the Aspasia of the Cirque-Olympique, +is one of those frank, very living personalities to whom all is +forgiven, such unconscious sinners are they, such intelligent +penitents; of such as Malaga one might ask, like Cardot--a witty man +enough, albeit a notary--to be well "deceived." And yet you must not +think that any enormities were committed. Desroches and Cardot were +good fellows grown too gray in the profession not to feel at ease with +Bixiou, Lousteau, Nathan, and young La Palferine. And they on their +side had too often had recourse to their legal advisers, and knew them +too well to try to "draw them out," in lorette language. + +Conversation, perfumed with seven cigars, at first was as fantastic as +a kid let loose, but finally it settled down upon the strategy of the +constant war waged in Paris between creditors and debtors. + +Now, if you will be so good as to recall the history and antecedents +of the guests, you will know that in all Paris, you could scarcely +find a group of men with more experience in this matter; the +professional men on one hand, and the artists on the other, were +something in the position of magistrates and criminals hobnobbing +together. A set of Bixiou's drawings to illustrate life in the +debtors' prison, led the conversation to take this particular turn; +and from debtors' prisons they went to debts. + +It was midnight. They had broken up into little knots round the table +and before the fire, and gave themselves up to the burlesque fun which +is only possible or comprehensible in Paris and in that particular +region which is bounded by the Faubourg Montmartre, the Rue Chaussee +d'Antin, the upper end of the Rue de Navarin and the line of the +boulevards. + +In ten minutes' time they had come to an end of all the deep +reflections, all the moralizings, small and great, all the bad puns +made on a subject already exhausted by Rabelais three hundred and +fifty years ago. It was not a little to their credit that the +pyrotechnic display was cut short with a final squib from Malaga. + +"It all goes to the shoemakers," she said. "I left a milliner because +she failed twice with my hats. The vixen has been here twenty-seven +times to ask for twenty francs. She did not know that we never have +twenty francs. One has a thousand francs, or one sends to one's notary +for five hundred; but twenty francs I have never had in my life. My +cook and my maid may, perhaps, have so much between them; but for my +own part, I have nothing but credit, and I should lose that if I took +to borrowing small sums. If I were to ask for twenty francs, I should +have nothing to distinguish me from my colleagues that walk the +boulevard." + +"Is the milliner paid?" asked La Palferine. + +"Oh, come now, are you turning stupid?" said she, with a wink. "She +came this morning for the twenty-seventh time, that is how I came to +mention it." + +"What did you do?" asked Desroches. + +"I took pity upon her, and--ordered a little hat that I have just +invented, a quite new shape. If Mlle. Amanda succeeds with it, she +will say no more about the money, her fortune is made." + +"In my opinion," put in Desroches, "the finest things that I have seen +in a duel of this kind give those who know Paris a far better picture +of the city than all the fancy portraits that they paint. Some of you +think that you know a thing or two," he continued, glancing round at +Nathan, Bixiou, La Palferine, and Lousteau, "but the king of the +ground is a certain Count, now busy ranging himself. In his time, he +was supposed to be the cleverest, adroitest, canniest, boldest, +stoutest, most subtle and experienced of all the pirates, who, +equipped with fine manners, yellow kid gloves, and cabs, have ever +sailed or ever will sail upon the stormy seas of Paris. He fears +neither God nor man. He applies in private life the principles that +guide the English Cabinet. Up to the time of his marriage, his life +was one continual war, like--Lousteau's, for instance. I was, and am +still his solicitor." + +"And the first letter of his name is Maxime de Trailles," said La +Palferine. + +"For that matter, he has paid every one, and injured no one," +continued Desroches. "But as your friend Bixiou was saying just now, +it is a violation of the liberty of the subject to be made to pay in +March when you have no mind to pay till October. By virtue of this +article of his particular code, Maxime regarded a creditor's scheme +for making him pay at once as a swindler's trick. It was a long time +since he had grasped the significance of the bill of exchange in all +its bearings, direct and remote. A young man once, in my place, called +a bill of exchange the 'asses' bridge' in his hearing. 'No,' said he, +'it is the Bridge of Sighs; it is the shortest way to an execution.' +Indeed, his knowledge of commercial law was so complete, that a +professional could not have taught him anything. At that time he had +nothing, as you know. His carriage and horses were jobbed; he lived in +his valet's house; and, by the way, he will be a hero to his valet to +the end of the chapter, even after the marriage that he proposes to +make. He belonged to three clubs, and dined at one of them whenever he +did not dine out. As a rule, he was to be found very seldom at his own +address--" + +"He once said to me," interrupted La Palferine, " 'My one affectation +is the pretence that I make of living in the Rue Pigalle.' " + +"Well," resumed Desroches, "he was one of the combatants; and now for +the other. You have heard more or less talk of one Claparon?" + +"Had hair like this!" cried Bixiou, ruffling his locks till they stood +on end. Gifted with the same talent for mimicking absurdities which +Chopin the pianist possesses to so high a degree, he proceeded +forthwith to represent the character with startling truth. + +"He rolls his head like this when he speaks; he was once a commercial +traveler; he has been all sorts of things--" + +"Well, he was born to travel, for at this minute, as I speak, he is on +the sea on his way to America," said Desroches. "It is his only +chance, for in all probability he will be condemned by default as a +fraudulent bankrupt next session." + +"Very much at sea!" exclaimed Malaga. + +"For six or seven years this Claparon acted as man of straw, cat's +paw, and scapegoat to two friends of ours, du Tillet and Nucingen; but +in 1829 his part was so well known that--" + +"Our friends dropped him," put in Bixiou. + +"They left him to his fate at last, and he wallowed in the mire," +continued Desroches. "In 1833 he went into partnership with one +Cerizet--" + +"What! he that promoted a joint-stock company so nicely that the Sixth +Chamber cut short his career with a couple of years in jail?" asked +the lorette. + +"The same. Under the Restoration, between 1823 and 1827, Cerizet's +occupation consisted in first putting his name intrepidly to various +paragraphs, on which the public prosecutor fastened with avidity, and +subsequently marching off to prison. A man could make a name for +himself with small expense in those days. The Liberal party called +their provincial champion 'the courageous Cerizet,' and towards 1828 +so much zeal received its reward in 'general interest.' + +" 'General interest' is a kind of civic crown bestowed on the +deserving by the daily press. Cerizet tried to discount the 'general +interest' taken in him. He came to Paris, and, with some help from +capitalists in the Opposition, started as a broker, and conducted +financial operations to some extent, the capital being found by a man +in hiding, a skilful gambler who overreached himself, and in +consequence, in July 1830, his capital foundered in the shipwreck of +the Government." + +"Oh! it was he whom we used to call the System," cried Bixiou. + +"Say no harm of him, poor fellow," protested Malaga. "D'Estourny was a +good sort." + +"You can imagine the part that a ruined man was sure to play in 1830 +when his name in politics was 'the courageous Cerizet." He was sent +off into a very snug little sub-prefecture. Unluckily for him, it is +one thing to be in opposition--any missile is good enough to throw, so +long as the flight lasts; but quite another to be in office. Three +months later, he was obliged to send in his resignation. Had he not +taken it into his head to attempt to win popularity? Still, as he had +done nothing as yet to imperil his title of 'courageous Cerizet,' the +Government proposed by way of compensation that he should manage a +newspaper; nominally an Opposition newspaper, but Ministerialist /in +petto/. So the fall of this noble nature was really due to the +Government. To Cerizet, as manager of the paper, it was rather too +evident that he was as a bird perched on a rotten bough; and then it +was that he promoted that nice little joint-stock company, and thereby +secured a couple of years in prison; he was caught, while more +ingenious swindlers succeeded in catching the public." + +"We are acquainted with the more ingenious," said Bixiou; "let us say +no ill of the poor fellow; he was nabbed; Couture allowed them to +squeeze his cash-box; who would ever have thought it of him?" + +"At all events, Cerizet was a low sort of fellow, a good deal damaged +by low debauchery. Now for the duel I spoke about. Never did two +tradesmen of the worst type, with the worst manners, the lowest pair +of villains imaginable, go into partnership in a dirtier business. +Their stock-in-trade consisted of the peculiar idiom of the man about +town, the audacity of poverty, the cunning that comes of experience, +and a special knowledge of Parisian capitalists, their origin, +connections, acquaintances, and intrinsic value. This partnership of +two 'dabblers' (let the Stock Exchange term pass, for it is the only +word which describes them), this partnership of dabblers did not last +very long. They fought like famished curs over every bit of garbage. + +"The earlier speculations of the firm of Cerizet and Claparon were, +however, well planned. The two scamps joined forces with Barbet, +Chaboisseau, Samanon, and usurers of that stamp, and bought up +hopelessly bad debts. + +"Claparon's place of business at that time was a cramped entresol in +the Rue Chabannais--five rooms at a rent of seven hundred francs at +most. Each partner slept in a little closet, so carefully closed from +prudence, that my head-clerk could never get inside. The furniture of +the other three rooms--an ante-chamber, a waiting-room, and a private +office--would not have fetched three hundred francs altogether at a +distress-warrant sale. You know enough of Paris to know the look of +it; the stuffed horsehair-covered chairs, a table covered with a green +cloth, a trumpery clock between a couple of candle sconces, growing +tarnished under glass shades, the small gilt-framed mirror over the +chimney-piece, and in the grate a charred stick or two of firewood +which had lasted them for two winters, as my head-clerk put it. As for +the office, you can guess what it was like--more letter-files than +business letters, a set of common pigeon-holes for either partner, a +cylinder desk, empty as the cash-box, in the middle of the room, and a +couple of armchairs on either side of a coal fire. The carpet on the +floor was bought cheap at second-hand (like the bills and bad debts). +In short, it was the mahogany furniture of furnished apartments which +usually descends from one occupant of chambers to another during fifty +years of service. Now you know the pair of antagonists. + +"During the first three months of a partnership dissolved four months +later in a bout of fisticuffs, Cerizet and Claparon bought up two +thousand francs' worth of bills bearing Maxime's signature (since +Maxime was his name), and filled a couple of letters to bursting with +judgments, appeals, orders of the court, distress-warrants, +application for stay of proceedings, and all the rest of it; to put it +briefly, they had bills for three thousand two hundred francs odd +centimes, for which they had given five hundred francs; the transfer +being made under private seal, with special power of attorney, to save +the expense of registration. Now it so happened at this juncture, +Maxime, being of ripe age, was seized with one of the fancies peculiar +to the man of fifty--" + +"Antonia!" exclaimed La Palferine. "That Antonia whose fortune I made +by writing to ask for a toothbrush!" + +"Her real name is Chocardelle," said Malaga, not over well pleased by +the fine-sounding pseudonym. + +"The same," continued Desroches. + +"It was the only mistake Maxime ever made in his life. But what would +you have, no vice is absolutely perfect?" put in Bixiou. + +"Maxime had still to learn what sort of a life a man may be led into +by a girl of eighteen when she is minded to take a header from her +honest garret into a sumptuous carriage; it is a lesson that all +statesmen should take to heart. At this time, de Marsay had just been +employing his friend, our friend de Trailles, in the high comedy of +politics. Maxime had looked high for his conquests; he had no +experience of untitled women; and at fifty years he felt that he had a +right to take a bite of the so-called wild fruit, much as a sportsman +will halt under a peasant's apple-tree. So the Count found a reading- +room for Mlle. Chocardelle, a rather smart little place to be had +cheap, as usual--" + +"Pooh!" said Nathan. "She did not stay in it six months. She was too +handsome to keep a reading-room." + +"Perhaps you are the father of her child?" suggested the lorette. + +Desroches resumed. + +"Since the firm bought up Maxime's debts, Cerizet's likeness to a +bailiff's officer grew more and more striking, and one morning after +seven fruitless attempts he succeeded in penetrating into the Count's +presence. Suzon, the old man-servant, albeit he was by no means in his +novitiate, at last mistook the visitor for a petitioner, come to +propose a thousand crowns if Maxime would obtain a license to sell +postage stamps for a young lady. Suzon, without the slightest +suspicion of the little scamp, a thoroughbred Paris street-boy into +whom prudence had been rubbed by repeated personal experience of the +police-courts, induced his master to receive him. Can you see the man +of business, with an uneasy eye, a bald forehead, and scarcely any +hair on his head, standing in his threadbare jacket and muddy boots--" + +"What a picture of a Dun!" cried Lousteau. + +"--standing before the Count, that image of flaunting Debt, in his +blue flannel dressing-gown, slippers worked by some Marquise or other, +trousers of white woolen stuff, and a dazzling shirt? There he stood, +with a gorgeous cap on his black dyed hair, playing with the tassels +at his waist--" + +" 'Tis a bit of genre for anybody who knows what the pretty little +morning room, hung with silk and full of valuable paintings, where +Maxime breakfasts," said Nathan. "You tread on a Smyrna carpet, you +admire the sideboards filled with curiosities and rarities fit to make +a King of Saxony envious--" + +"Now for the scene itself," said Desroches, and the deepest silence +followed. + +" 'Monsieur le Comte,' began Cerizet, 'I have come from a M. Charles +Claparon, who used to be a banker--' + +" 'Ah! poor devil, and what does he want with me?' + +" 'Well, he is at present your creditor for a matter of three thousand +two hundred francs, seventy-five centimes, principal, interest, and +costs--' + +" 'Coutelier's business?' put in Maxime, who knew his affairs as a +pilot knows his coast. + +" 'Yes, Monsieur le Comte,' said Cerizet with a bow. 'I have come to +ask your intentions.' + +" 'I shall only pay when the fancy takes me,' returned Maxime, and he +rang for Suzon. 'It was very rash of Claparon to buy up bills of mine +without speaking to me beforehand. I am sorry for him, for he did so +very well for such a long time as a man of straw for friends of mine. +I always said that a man must really be weak in his intellect to work +for men that stuff themselves with millions, and to serve them so +faithfully for such low wages. And now here he gives me another proof +of his stupidity! Yes, men deserve what they get. It is your own doing +whether you get a crown on your forehead or a bullet through your +head; whether you are a millionaire or a porter, justice is always +done you. I cannot help it, my dear fellow; I myself am not a king, I +stick to my principles. I have no pity for those that put me to +expense or do not know their business as creditors.--Suzon! my tea! Do +you see this gentleman?' he continued when the man came in. 'Well, you +have allowed yourself to be taken in, poor old boy. This gentleman is +a creditor; you ought to have known him by his boots. No friend nor +foe of mine, nor those that are neither and want something of me, come +to see me on foot.--My dear M. Cerizet, do you understand? You will +not wipe your boots on my carpet again' (looking as he spoke at the +mud that whitened the enemy's soles). 'Convey my compliments and +sympathy to Claparon, poor buffer, for I shall file this business +under the letter Z.' + +"All this with an easy good-humor fit to give a virtuous citizen the +colic. + +" 'You are wrong, Monsieur le Comte,' retorted Cerizet, in a slightly +peremptory tone. 'We will be paid in full, and that in a way which you +may not like. That is why I came to you first in a friendly spirit, as +is right and fit between gentlemen--' + +" 'Oh! so that is how you understand it?' began Maxime, enraged by +this last piece of presumption. There was something of Talleyrand's +wit in the insolent retort, if you have quite grasped the contrast +between the two men and their costumes. Maxime scowled and looked full +at the intruder; Cerizet not merely endured the glare of cold fury, +but even returned it, with an icy, cat-like malignance and fixity of +gaze. + +" 'Very good, sir, go out--' + +" 'Very well, good-day, Monsieur le Comte. We shall be quits before +six months are out.' + +" 'If you can steal the amount of your bill, which is legally due I +own, I shall be indebted to you, sir,' replied Maxime. 'You will have +taught me a new precaution to take. I am very much your servant.' + +" 'Monsieur le Comte,' said Cerizet, 'it is I, on the contrary, who am +yours.' + +"Here was an explicit, forcible, confident declaration on either side. +A couple of tigers confabulating, with the prey before them, and a +fight impending, would have been no finer and no shrewder than this +pair; the insolent fine gentleman as great a blackguard as the other +in his soiled and mud-stained clothes. + +"Which will you lay your money on?" asked Desroches, looking round at +an audience, surprised to find how deeply it was interested. + +"A pretty story!" cried Malaga. "My dear boy, go on, I beg of you. +This goes to one's heart." + +"Nothing commonplace could happen between two fighting-cocks of that +calibre," added La Palferine. + +"Pooh!" cried Malaga. "I will wager my cabinet-maker's invoice (the +fellow is dunning me) that the little toad was too many for Maxime." + +"I bet on Maxime," said Cardot. "Nobody ever caught him napping." + +Desroches drank off a glass that Malaga handed to him. + +"Mlle. Chocardelle's reading-room," he continued, after a pause, "was +in the Rue Coquenard, just a step or two from the Rue Pigalle where +Maxime was living. The said Mlle. Chocardelle lived at the back on the +garden side of the house, beyond a big dark place where the books were +kept. Antonia left her aunt to look after the business--" + +"Had she an aunt even then?" exclaimed Malaga. "Hang it all, Maxime +did things handsomely." + +"Alas! it was a real aunt," said Desroches; "her name was--let me +see----" + +"Ida Bonamy," said Bixiou. + +"So as Antonia's aunt took a good deal of the work off her hands, she +went to bed late and lay late of a morning, never showing her face at +the desk until the afternoon, some time between two and four. From the +very first her appearance was enough to draw custom. Several elderly +men in the quarter used to come, among them a retired coach-builder, +one Croizeau. Beholding this miracle of female loveliness through the +window-panes, he took it into his head to read the newspapers in the +beauty's reading-room; and a sometime custom-house officer, named +Denisart, with a ribbon in his button-hole, followed the example. +Croizeau chose to look upon Denisart as a rival. '/Monsieur/,' he said +afterwards, 'I did not know what to buy for you!' + +"That speech should give you an idea of the man. The Sieur Croizeau +happens to belong to a particular class of old man which should be +known as 'Coquerels' since Henri Monnier's time; so well did Monnier +render the piping voice, the little mannerisms, little queue, little +sprinkling of powder, little movements of the head, prim little +manner, and tripping gait in the part of Coquerel in /La Famille +Improvisee/. This Croizeau used to hand over his halfpence with a +flourish and a 'There, fair lady!' + +"Mme. Ida Bonamy the aunt was not long in finding out through a +servant that Croizeau, by popular report of the neighborhood of the +Rue de Buffault, where he lived, was a man of exceeding stinginess, +possessed of forty thousand francs per annum. A week after the +instalment of the charming librarian he was delivered of a pun: + +" 'You lend me books (livres), but I give you plenty of francs in +return,' said he. + +"A few days later he put on a knowing little air, as much as to say, +'I know you are engaged, but my turn will come one day; I am a +widower.' + +"He always came arrayed in fine linen, a cornflower blue coat, a +paduasoy waistcoat, black trousers, and black ribbon bows on the +double soled shoes that creaked like an abbe's; he always held a +fourteen franc silk hat in his hand. + +" 'I am old and I have no children,' he took occasion to confide to +the young lady some few days after Cerizet's visit to Maxime. 'I hold +my relations in horror. They are peasants born to work in the fields. +Just imagine it, I came up from the country with six francs in my +pocket, and made my fortune here. I am not proud. A pretty woman is my +equal. Now would it not be nicer to be Mme. Croizeau for some years to +come than to do a Count's pleasure for a twelvemonth? He will go off +and leave you some time or other; and when that day comes, you will +think of me . . . your servant, my pretty lady!' + +"All this was simmering below the surface. The slightest approach at +love-making was made quite on the sly. Not a soul suspected that the +trim little old fogy was smitten with Antonia; and so prudent was the +elderly lover, that no rival could have guessed anything from his +behavior in the reading-room. For a couple of months Croizeau watched +the retired custom-house official; but before the third month was out +he had good reason to believe that his suspicions were groundless. He +exerted his ingenuity to scrape an acquaintance with Denisart, came up +with him in the street, and at length seized his opportunity to +remark, 'It is a fine day, sir!' + +"Whereupon the retired official responded with, 'Austerlitz weather, +sir. I was there myself--I was wounded indeed, I won my Cross on that +glorious day.' + +"And so from one thing to another the two drifted wrecks of the Empire +struck up an acquaintance. Little Croizeau was attached to the Empire +through his connection with Napoleon's sisters. He had been their +coach-builder, and had frequently dunned them for money; so he gave +out that he 'had had relations with the Imperial family.' Maxime, duly +informed by Antonia of the 'nice old man's' proposals (for so the aunt +called Croizeau), wished to see him. Cerizet's declaration of war had +so far taken effect that he of the yellow kid gloves was studying the +position of every piece, however insignificant, upon the board; and it +so happened that at the mention of that 'nice old man,' an ominous +tinkling sounded in his ears. One evening, therefore, Maxime seated +himself among the book-shelves in the dimly lighted back room, +reconnoitred the seven or eight customers through the chink between +the green curtains, and took the little coach-builder's measure. He +gauged the man's infatuation, and was very well satisfied to find that +the varnished doors of a tolerably sumptuous future were ready to turn +at a word from Antonia so soon as his own fancy had passed off. + +" 'And that other one yonder?' asked he, pointing out the stout fine- +looking elderly man with the Cross of the Legion of Honor. 'Who is +he?' + +" 'A retired custom-house officer.' + +" 'The cut of his countenance is not reassuring,' said Maxime, +beholding the Sieur Denisart. + +"And indeed the old soldier held himself upright as a steeple. His +head was remarkable for the amount of powder and pomatum bestowed upon +it; he looked almost like a postilion at a fancy ball. Underneath that +felted covering, moulded to the top of the wearer's cranium, appeared +an elderly profile, half-official, half-soldierly, with a comical +admixture of arrogance,--altogether something like caricatures of the +/Constitutionnel/. The sometime official finding that age, and hair- +powder, and the conformation of his spine made it impossible to read a +word without spectacles, sat displaying a very creditable expanse of +chest with all the pride of an old man with a mistress. Like old +General Montcornet, that pillar of the Vaudeville, he wore earrings. +Denisart was partial to blue; his roomy trousers and well-worn +greatcoat were both of blue cloth. + +" 'How long is it since that old fogy came here?' inquired Maxime, +thinking that he saw danger in the spectacles. + +" 'Oh, from the beginning,' returned Antonia, 'pretty nearly two +months ago now.' + +" 'Good," said Maxime to himself, 'Cerizet only came to me a month +ago.--Just get him to talk,' he added in Antonia's ear; 'I want to +hear his voice.' + +" 'Pshaw,' said she, 'that is not so easy. He never says a word to +me.' + +" 'Then why does he come here?' demanded Maxime. + +" 'For a queer reason,' returned the fair Antonia. 'In the first +place, although he is sixty-nine, he has a fancy; and because he is +sixty-nine, he is as methodical as a clock face. Every day at five +o'clock the old gentleman goes to dine with /her/ in the Rue de la +Victoire. (I am sorry for her.) Then at six o'clock, he comes here, +reads steadily at the papers for four hours, and goes back at ten +o'clock. Daddy Croizeau says that he knows M. Denisart's motives, and +approves his conduct; and in his place, he would do the same. So I +know exactly what to expect. If ever I am Mme. Croizeau, I shall have +four hours to myself between six and ten o'clock.' + +"Maxime looked through the directory, and found the following +reassuring item: + + "DENISART,* retired custom-house officer, Rue de la Victoire. + +"His uneasiness vanished. + +"Gradually the Sieur Denisart and the Sieur Croizeau began to exchange +confidences. Nothing so binds two men together as a similarity of +views in the matter of womankind. Daddy Croizeau went to dine with 'M. +Denisart's fair lady,' as he called her. And here I must make a +somewhat important observation. + +"The reading-room had been paid for half in cash, half in bills signed +by the said Mlle. Chocardelle. The /quart d'heure de Rabelais/ +arrived; the Count had no money. So the first bill of three thousand +francs was met by the amiable coach-builder; that old scoundrel +Denisart having recommended him to secure himself with a mortgage on +the reading-room. + +" 'For my own part,' said Denisart, 'I have seen pretty doings from +pretty women. So in all cases, even when I have lost my head, I am +always on my guard with a woman. There is this creature, for instance; +I am madly in love with her; but this is not her furniture; no, it +belongs to me. The lease is taken out in my name.' + +"You know Maxime! He thought the coach-builder uncommonly green. +Croizeau might pay all three bills, and get nothing for a long while; +for Maxime felt more infatuated with Antonia than ever." + +"I can well believe it," said La Palferine. "She is the /bella +Imperia/ of our day." + +"With her rough skin!" exclaimed Malaga; "so rough, that she ruins +herself in bran baths!" + +"Croizeau spoke with a coach-builder's admiration of the sumptuous +furniture provided by the amorous Denisart as a setting for his fair +one, describing it all in detail with diabolical complacency for +Antonia's benefit," continued Desroches. "The ebony chests inlaid with +mother-of-pearl and gold wire, the Brussels carpets, a mediaeval +bedstead worth three thousand francs, a Boule clock, candelabra in the +four corners of the dining-room, silk curtains, on which Chinese +patience had wrought pictures of birds, and hangings over the doors, +worth more than the portress that opened them. + +" 'And that is what /you/ ought to have, my pretty lady.--And that is +what I should like to offer you,' he would conclude. 'I am quite aware +that you scarcely care a bit about me; but, at my age, we cannot +expect too much. Judge how much I love you; I have lent you a thousand +francs. I must confess that, in all my born days, I have not lent +anybody /that/ much----' + +"He held out his penny as he spoke, with the important air of a man +that gives a learned demonstration. + +"That evening at the Varietes, Antonia spoke to the Count. + +" 'A reading-room is very dull, all the same,' said she; 'I feel that +I have no sort of taste for that kind of life, and I see no future in +it. It is only fit for a widow that wishes to keep body and soul +together, or for some hideously ugly thing that fancies she can catch +a husband with a little finery.' + +" 'It was your own choice,' returned the Count. Just at that moment, +in came Nucingen, of whom Maxime, king of lions (the 'yellow kid +gloves' were the lions of that day) had won three thousand francs the +evening before. Nucingen had come to pay his gaming debt. + +" 'Ein writ of attachment haf shoost peen served on me by der order of +dot teufel Glabaron,' he said, seeing Maxime's astonishment. + +" 'Oh, so that is how they are going to work, is it?' cried Maxime. +'They are not up to much, that pair--' + +" 'It makes not,' said the banker, 'bay dem, for dey may apply +demselfs to oders pesides, und do you harm. I dake dees bretty voman +to vitness dot I haf baid you dees morning, long pefore dat writ vas +serfed.' " + +"Queen of the boards," smiled La Palferine, looking at Malaga, "thou +art about to lose thy bet." + +"Once, a long time ago, in a similar case," resumed Desroches, "a too +honest debtor took fright at the idea of a solemn declaration in a +court of law, and declined to pay Maxime after notice was given. That +time we made it hot for the creditor by piling on writs of attachment, +so as to absorb the whole amount in costs--" + +"Oh, what is that?" cried Malaga; "it all sounds like gibberish to me. +As you thought the sturgeon so excellent at dinner, let me take out +the value of the sauce in lessons in chicanery." + +"Very well," said Desroches. "Suppose that a man owes you money, and +your creditors serve a writ of attachment upon him; there is nothing +to prevent all your other creditors from doing the same thing. And now +what does the court do when all the creditors make application for +orders to pay? /The court divides the whole sum attached, +proportionately among them all./ That division, made under the eye of +a magistrate, is what we call a /contribution/. If you owe ten +thousand francs, and your creditors issue writs of attachment on a +debt due to you of a thousand francs, each one of them gets so much +per cent, 'so much in the pound,' in legal phrase; so much (that +means) in proportion to the amounts severally claimed by the +creditors. But--the creditors cannot touch the money without a special +order from the clerk of the court. Do you guess what all this work +drawn up by a judge and prepared by attorneys must mean? It means a +quantity of stamped paper full of diffuse lines and blanks, the +figures almost lost in vast spaces of completely empty ruled columns. +The first proceeding is to deduct the costs. Now, as the costs are +precisely the same whether the amount attached is one thousand or one +million francs, it is not difficult to eat up three thousand francs +(for instance) in costs, especially if you can manage to raise counter +applications." + +"And an attorney always manages to do it," said Cardot. "How many a +time one of you has come to me with, 'What is there to be got out of +the case?' " + +"It is particularly easy to manage it if the debtor eggs you on to run +up costs till they eat up the amount. And, as a rule, the Count's +creditors took nothing by that move, and were out of pocket in law and +personal expenses. To get money out of so experienced a debtor as the +Count, a creditor should really be in a position uncommonly difficult +to reach; it is a question of being creditor and debtor both, for then +you are legally entitled to work the confusion of rights, in law +language--" + +"To the confusion of the debtor?" asked Malaga, lending an attentive +ear to this discourse. + +"No, the confusion of rights of debtor and creditor, and pay yourself +through your own hands. So Claparon's innocence in merely issuing +writs of attachment eased the Count's mind. As he came back from the +Varietes with Antonia, he was so much the more taken with the idea of +selling the reading-room to pay off the last two thousand francs of +the purchase-money, because he did not care to have his name made +public as a partner in such a concern. So he adopted Antonia's plan. +Antonia wished to reach the higher ranks of her calling, with splendid +rooms, a maid, and a carriage; in short, she wanted to rival our +charming hostess, for instance--" + +"She was not woman enough for that," cried the famous beauty of the +Circus; "still, she ruined young d'Esgrignon very neatly." + +"Ten days afterwards, little Croizeau, perched on his dignity, said +almost exactly the same thing, for the fair Antonia's benefit," +continued Desroches. + +" 'Child,' said he, 'your reading-room is a hole of a place. You will +lose your complexion; the gas will ruin your eyesight. You ought to +come out of it; and, look here, let us take advantage of an +opportunity. I have found a young lady for you that asks no better +than to buy your reading-room. She is a ruined woman with nothing +before her but a plunge into the river; but she had four thousand +francs in cash, and the best thing to do is to turn them to account, +so as to feed and educate a couple of children.' + +" 'Very well. It is kind of you, Daddy Croizeau,' said Antonia. + +" 'Oh, I shall be much kinder before I have done. Just imagine it, +poor M. Denisart has been worried into the jaundice! Yes, it has gone +to the liver, as it usually does with susceptible old men. It is a +pity he feels things so. I told him so myself; I said, "Be passionate, +there is no harm in that, but as for taking things to heart--draw the +line at that! It is the way to kill yourself."--Really, I would not +have expected him to take on so about it; a man that has sense enough +and experience enough to keep away as he does while he digests his +dinner--' + +" 'But what is the matter?' inquired Mlle. Chocardelle. + +" 'That little baggage with whom I dined has cleared out and left him! +. . . Yes. Gave him the slip without any warning but a letter, in +which the spelling was all to seek.' + +" 'There, Daddy Croizeau, you see what comes of boring a woman--' + +" 'It is indeed a lesson, my pretty lady,' said the guileful Croizeau. +'Meanwhile, I have never seen a man in such a state. Our friend +Denisart cannot tell his left hand from his right; he will not go back +to look at the "scene of his happiness," as he calls it. He has so +thoroughly lost his wits, that he proposes that I should buy all +Hortense's furniture (Hortense was her name) for four thousand +francs.' + +" 'A pretty name,' said Antonia. + +" Yes. Napoleon's stepdaughter was called Hortense. I built carriages +for her, as you know.' + +" 'Very well, I will see,' said cunning Antonia; 'begin by sending +this young woman to me.' + +"Antonia hurried off to see the furniture, and came back fascinated. +She brought Maxime under the spell of antiquarian enthusiasm. That +very evening the Count agreed to the sale of the reading-room. The +establishment, you see, nominally belonged to Mlle. Chocardelle. +Maxime burst out laughing at the idea of little Croizeau's finding him +a buyer. The firm of Maxime and Chocardelle was losing two thousand +francs, it is true, but what was the loss compared with four glorious +thousand-franc notes in hand? 'Four thousand francs of live coin!-- +there are moments in one's life when one would sign bills for eight +thousand to get them,' as the Count said to me. + +"Two days later the Count must see the furniture himself, and took the +four thousand francs upon him. The sale had been arranged; thanks to +little Croizeau's diligence, he pushed matters on; he had 'come round' +the widow, as he expressed it. It was Maxime's intention to have all +the furniture removed at once to a lodging in a new house in the Rue +Tronchet, taken in the name of Mme. Ida Bonamy; he did not trouble +himself much about the nice old man that was about to lose his +thousand francs. But he had sent beforehand for several big furniture +vans. + +"Once again he was fascinated by the beautiful furniture which a +wholesale dealer would have valued at six thousand francs. By the +fireside sat the wretched owner, yellow with jaundice, his head tied +up in a couple of printed handkerchiefs, and a cotton night-cap on top +of them; he was huddled up in wrappings like a chandelier, exhausted, +unable to speak, and altogether so knocked to pieces that the Count +was obliged to transact his business with the man-servant. When he had +paid down the four thousand francs, and the servant had taken the +money to his master for a receipt, Maxime turned to tell the man to +call up the vans to the door; but even as he spoke, a voice like a +rattle sounded in his ears. + +" 'It is not worth while, Monsieur le Comte. You and I are quits; I +have six hundred and thirty francs fifteen centimes to give you!' + +"To his utter consternation, he saw Cerizet, emerged from his +wrappings like a butterfly from the chrysalis, holding out the +accursed bundle of documents. + +" 'When I was down on my luck, I learned to act on the stage,' added +Cerizet. 'I am as good as Bouffe at old men.' + +" 'I have fallen among thieves!' shouted Maxime. + +" 'No, Monsieur le Comte, you are in Mlle. Hortense's house. She is a +friend of old Lord Dudley's; he keeps her hidden away here; but she +has the bad taste to like your humble servant.' + +" 'If ever I longed to kill a man,' so the Count told me afterwards, +'it was at that moment; but what could one do? Hortense showed her +pretty face, one had to laugh. To keep my dignity, I flung her the six +hundred francs. "There's for the girl," said I.' " + +"That is Maxime all over!" cried La Palferine. + +"More especially as it was little Croizeau's money," added Cardot the +profound. + +"Maxime scored a triumph," continued Desroches, "for Hortense +exclaimed, 'Oh, if I had only known that it was you!' " + +"A pretty 'confusion' indeed!" put in Malaga. "You have lost, milord," +she added turning to the notary. + +And in this way the cabinetmaker, to whom Malaga owed a hundred +crowns, was paid. + + + +PARIS, 1845. + + + +ADDENDUM + +The following personages appear in other stories of the Human Comedy. + +Barbet + A Distinguished Provincial at Paris + The Seamy Side of History + The Middle Classes + +Bixiou, Jean-Jacques + The Purse + A Bachelor's Establishment + The Government Clerks + Modeste Mignon + Scenes from a Courtesan's Life + The Firm of Nucingen + The Muse of the Department + Cousin Betty + The Member for Arcis + Beatrix + Gaudissart II. + The Unconscious Humorists + Cousin Pons + +Cardot (Parisian notary) + The Muse of the Department + Jealousies of a Country Town + Pierre Grassou + The Middle Classes + Cousin Pons + +Cerizet + Lost Illusions + Scenes from a Courtesan's Life + The Middle Classes + +Chaboisseau + A Distinguished Provincial at Paris + The Government Clerks + +Chocardelle, Mademoiselle + Beatrix + A Prince of Bohemia + Cousin Betty + The Member for Arcis + +Claparon, Charles + A Bachelor's Establishment + Cesar Birotteau + Melmoth Reconciled + The Firm of Nucingen + The Middle Classes + +Desroches (son) + A Bachelor's Establishment + Colonel Chabert + A Start in Life + A Woman of Thirty + The Commission in Lunacy + The Government Clerks + A Distinguished Provincial at Paris + Scenes from a Courtesan's Life + The Firm of Nucingen + The Middle Classes + +Dudley, Lord + The Lily of the Valley + The Thirteen + Another Study of Woman + A Daughter of Eve + +Esgrignon, Victurnien, Comte (then Marquis d') + Jealousies of a Country Town + Letters of Two Brides + The Secrets of a Princess + Cousin Betty + +Estourny, Charles d' + Modeste Mignon + Scenes from a Courtesan's Life + +Hortense + The Member for Arcis + +La Palferine, Comte de + A Prince of Bohemia + Cousin Betty + Beatrix + The Imaginary Mistress + +Lousteau, Etienne + A Distinguished Provincial at Paris + A Bachelor's Establishment + Scenes from a Courtesan's Life + A Daughter of Eve + Beatrix + The Muse of the Department + Cousin Betty + A Prince of Bohemia + The Middle Classes + The Unconscious Humorists + +Montcornet, Marechal, Comte de + Domestic Peace + Lost Illusions + A Distinguished Provincial at Paris + Scenes from a Courtesan's Life + The Peasantry + Cousin Betty + +Nathan, Raoul + Lost Illusions + A Distinguished Provincial at Paris + Scenes from a Courtesan's Life + The Secrets of a Princess + A Daughter of Eve + Letters of Two Brides + The Seamy Side of History + The Muse of the Department + A Prince of Bohemia + The Unconscious Humorists + +Nucingen, Baron Frederic de + The Firm of Nucingen + Father Goriot + Pierrette + Cesar Birotteau + Lost Illusions + A Distinguished Provincial at Paris + Scenes from a Courtesan's Life + Another Study of Woman + The Secrets of a Princess + Cousin Betty + The Muse of the Department + The Unconscious Humorists + +Samanon + A Distinguished Provincial at Paris + The Government Clerks + Cousin Betty + +Trailles, Comte Maxime de + Cesar Birotteau + Father Goriot + Gobseck + Ursule Mirouet + The Member for Arcis + The Secrets of a Princess + Cousin Betty + Beatrix + The Unconscious Humorists + +Turquet, Marguerite + The Imaginary Mistress + The Muse of the Department + Cousin Betty + + + + + +End of Project Gutenberg Etext of A Man of Business by Honore de Balzac + |