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| author | Roger Frank <rfrank@pglaf.org> | 2025-10-15 05:33:12 -0700 |
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diff --git a/.gitattributes b/.gitattributes new file mode 100644 index 0000000..6833f05 --- /dev/null +++ b/.gitattributes @@ -0,0 +1,3 @@ +* text=auto +*.txt text +*.md text diff --git a/9444-h.zip b/9444-h.zip Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..34e6900 --- /dev/null +++ b/9444-h.zip diff --git a/9444-h/9444-h.htm b/9444-h/9444-h.htm new file mode 100644 index 0000000..1f17f98 --- /dev/null +++ b/9444-h/9444-h.htm @@ -0,0 +1,1315 @@ +<!DOCTYPE HTML PUBLIC "-//W3C//DTD HTML 4.01 Transitional//EN"> +<html> +<head> +<title>AMONG THE BRETHREN, Part 2.</title> +<meta http-equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html; charset=iso-8859-1"> + +<style type="text/css"> + <!-- + body {margin:10%; text-align:justify} + P { text-indent: 1em; + margin-top: .75em; + margin-bottom: .75em; } + H1,H2,H3,H4,H5,H6 { text-align: center; } + HR { width: 33%; text-align: center; } + blockquote {font-size: 97%; } + .figleft {float: left;} + .figright {float: right;} + .toc { margin-left: 15%; margin-bottom: 0em;} + CENTER { padding: 10px;} + PRE { font-family: Times; font-size: 97%; margin-left: 15%;} + // --> +</style> + +</head> +<body> + +<h1>Samantha Among the Brethren, Part 2</h1> +<pre> + +The Project Gutenberg EBook of Samantha Among the Brethren, Part 2. +by Josiah Allen's Wife (Marietta Holley) + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: Samantha Among the Brethren, Part 2. + +Author: Josiah Allen's Wife (Marietta Holley) + +Release Date: August 10, 2004 [EBook #9444] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1 + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK SAMANTHA AMONG THE BRETHREN, *** + + + + +Produced by Juliet Sutherland, David Widger and PG Distributed +Proofreaders + + + + + + +</pre> + + + + + +<br><br><hr><br><br> + + +<center> +<img alt="002.jpg (24K)" src="images/002.jpg" height="663" width="550"> +<br><br> +<img alt="001.jpg (118K)" src="images/001.jpg" height="912" width="711"> +</center> +<br><br> +<center> +<h1>SAMANTHA +<br><br> +AMONG THE BRETHREN.</h1> + +<h3>BY</h3> + + +<h3>"JOSIAH ALLEN'S WIFE"</h3> +<br><br> +<h2>(MARIETTA HOLLEY).</h2> +<br><br><br><br> +<h3><i>WITH ILLUSTRATIONS</i></h3>. +<br><br> +<h2>1890</h2> +<br><br><br><br> + +<center> +<h3>Part 2.</h3> +</center> +<br><br><br><br> + + + +<h3> +TO</h3> +<br> +<h3>All Women</h3> + +<p>WHO WORK, TRYING TO BRING INTO DARK LIVES</p> + +<p>THE BRIGHTNESS AND HOPE OF A</p> + +<p>BETTER COUNTRY,</p> + +<p><i>THIS BOOK IS DEDICATED</i>.</p> +</center> +<br><br><br><br> + +<h2>PREFACE.</h2> + +<p> +Again it come to pass, in the fulness of time, that my companion, Josiah +Allen, see me walk up and take my ink stand off of the manteltry piece, +and carry it with a calm and majestick gait to the corner of the settin' +room table devoted by me to literary pursuits. And he sez to me:</p> + +<p>"What are you goin' to tackle now, Samantha?"</p> + +<p>And sez I, with quite a good deal of dignity, "The Cause of Eternal +Justice, Josiah Allen."</p> + +<p>"Anythin' else?" sez he, lookin' sort o' oneasy at me. (That man +realizes his shortcomin's, I believe, a good deal of the time, he duz.)</p> + +<p>"Yes," sez I, "I lay out in petickuler to tackle the Meetin' House. She +is in the wrong on't, and I want to set her right."</p> + +<p>Josiah looked sort o' relieved like, but he sez out, in a kind of a pert +way, es he set there a-shellin corn for the hens:</p> + +<p>"A Meetin' House hadn't ort to be called she—it is a he."</p> + +<p>And sez I, "How do you know?"</p> + +<p>And he sez, "Because it stands to reason it is. And I'd like to know +what you have got to say about him any way?"</p> + +<p>Sez I, "That 'him' don't sound right, Josiah Allen. It sounds more right +and nateral to call it 'she.' Why," sez I, "hain't we always hearn about +the Mother Church, and don't the Bible tell about the Church bein' +arrayed like a bride for her husband? I never in my life hearn it called +a 'he' before."</p> + +<p>"Oh, wall, there has always got to be a first time. And I say it sounds +better. But what have you got to say about the Meetin' House, anyway?"</p> + +<p>"I have got this to say, Josiah Allen. The Meetin' House hain't a-actin' +right about wimmen. The Founder of the Church wuz born of woman. It wuz +on a woman's heart that His head wuz pillowed first and last. While +others slept she watched over His baby slumbers and His last sleep. A +woman wuz His last thought and care. Before dawn she wuz at the door of +the tomb, lookin' for His comin'. So she has stood ever sense—waitin', +watchin', hopin', workin' for the comin' of Christ. Workin', waitin' for +His comin' into the hearts of tempted wimmen and tempted men—fallen men +and fallen wimmen—workin', waitin', toilin', nursin' the baby good +in the hearts of a sinful world—weepin' pale-faced over its +crucefixion—lookin' for its reserection. Oh how she has worked all +through the ages!"</p> + +<p>"Oh shaw!" sez Josiah, "some wimmen don't care about anythin' but crazy +work and back combs."</p> + +<p>I felt took down, for I had been riz up, quite considerble, but I sez, +reasonable:</p> + +<p>"Yes, there are such wimmen, Josiah, but think of the sweet and saintly +souls that have given all their lives, and hopes, and thoughts to the +Meetin' House—think of the throngs to-day that crowd the aisles of +the Sanctuary—there are five wimmen to one man, I believe, in all the +meetin' houses to-day a-workin' in His name. True Daughters of the King, +no matter what their creed may be—Catholic or Protestant.</p> + +<p>"And while wimmen have done all this work for the Meetin' House, the +Meetin' House ort to be honorable and do well by her."</p> + +<p>"Wall, hain't <i>he</i>?" sez Josiah.</p> + +<p>"No, <i>she</i> hain't," sez I.</p> + +<p>"Wall, what petickuler fault do you find? What has <i>he</i> done lately to +rile you up?"</p> + +<p>Sez I, "<i>She</i> wuz in the wrong on't in not lettin' wimmen set on the +Conference."</p> + +<p>"Wall, I say <i>he</i> wuz right," sez Josiah. "<i>He</i> knew, and I knew, that +wimmen wuzn't strong enough to set."</p> + +<p>"Why," sez I, "it don't take so much strength to set as it duz to stand +up. And after workin' as hard as wimmen have for the Meetin' House, she +ort to have the priveledge of settin'. And I am goin' to write out jest +what I think about it."</p> + +<p>"Wall," sez Josiah, as he started for the barn with the hen feed, "don't +be too severe with the Meetin' House."</p> + +<p>And then, after he went out, he opened the door agin and stuck his head +in and sez:</p> + +<p>"Don't be too hard on <i>him</i>"</p> + +<p>And then he shet the door quick, before I could say a word. But good +land! I didn't care. I knew I could say what I wanted to with my +faithful pen—and I am bound to say it.</p> + +<p><br> JOSIAH ALLEN'S WIFE, + Bonny View,<br> + near Adams, New York,<br> + Oct. 14th, 1890.</p> + +<br><br><br><br> + +<h2> +CONTENTS.</h2> +<br> + + + + + +<center> +<table summary=""> +<tr><td> + +<p><a href="#c4">CHAPTER IV.</a></p> + +<p><a href="#c5">CHAPTER V.</a></p> + +<p><a href="#c6">CHAPTER VI.</a></p> + + + +</td></tr> +</table> +</center> + + + +<br><br><br><br> + + + + + + + +<a name="c4"></a> +<br><br> +<center> +<img alt="020c4.jpg (96K)" src="images/020c4.jpg" height="711" width="577"> +</center> +<br><br> + +<p> +CHAPTER IV.</p> + +<p> +Never knew a word about the threshin' machine a-comin' till about half +an hour before. Josiah Allen wuzn't to blame. It come just as onexpected +onto him as it did onto me.</p> + +<p>Solomon Gowdey wuz a-goin' to have 'em first, which would have left me +ample time to cook up for 'em. But he wuz took down bed sick, so they +had to come right onto us with no warnin' previous and beforehand.</p> + +<p>They wuz a drivin' up just as Josiah got the stove-pipe up. They had to +go right by the side of the house, right by the parlor winders, to get +to the side of the barn where they wanted to thresh; and just as they +wuz a-goin' by one of the horses got down, and of all the yellin' I ever +heard that was the cap sheaf.</p> + +<p>Steve Yerden is rough on his horses, dretful rough. He yells at 'em +enough to raise the ruff. His threshin' machine is one of the kind where +the horses walk up and look over the top. It is kinder skairful any way, +and it made it as bad agin when you expected to see the horse fall out +every minute.</p> + +<p>Wall, that very horse fell out of the machine three times that day. It +wuz a sick horse, I believe, and hadn't ort to have been worked. But +three times it fell, and each time the yellin' wuz such that it skairt +the author of "Peaceful Repose," and me, almost to death.</p> + +<p>The machine wuz in plain sight of the house, and every time we see the +horse's head come a mountin' up on top of the machine, we expected that +over it would go. But though it didn't fall out only three times, as I +said, it kep' us all nerved up and uneasy the hull of the time expectin' +it. And Steve Yerden kep' a-yellin' at his horses all the time; there +wuzn't no comfort to be took within a mile of him.</p> + +<p>I wuz awful sorry it happened so, on her account.</p> + + + +<br><br> +<center> +<img alt="021.jpg (161K)" src="images/021.jpg" height="669" width="567"> +</center> +<br><br> + + +<p>Wall, I had to get dinner for nine men, and cook if all from the very +beginnin'. If you'll believe it, I had to begin back to bread. I hadn't +any bread in the house, but I had it a-risin', and I got two loaves out +by dinner time. But I had to stir round lively, I can tell you, to make +pies and cookies and fried cakes, and cook meat, and vegetables of all +kinds.</p> + +<p>The author of "Wedlock's Peaceful Repose" came out into the kitchen. I +told her she might, if she wanted to, for I see I wuzn't goin' to have a +minute's time to go into the parlor and visit with her.</p> + +<p>She looked pretty sober and thoughtful, and I didn't know as she liked +it, to think I couldn't do as I promised to do, accordin' to agreement, +to hear her lecture, and lift my hand up when I differed from her.</p> + +<p>But, good land! I couldn't help it. I couldn't get a minute's time to +lift my hand up. I could have heard the lecture, but I couldn't spare my +hands.</p> + +<p>And then Josiah would come a-rushin' in after one thing and another, +actin' as was natural, accordin' to the nater of man, more like a wild +man than a Christian Methodist. For he was so wrought up and excited by +havin' so much on his hands to do, and the onexpectedness of it, that he +couldn't help actin' jest as he did act. I don't believe he could. And +then Steve Yerden is enough to distract a leather-man, any way.</p> + + + +<br><br> +<center> +<img alt="022.jpg (59K)" src="images/022.jpg" height="517" width="478"> +</center> +<br><br> + + +<p>Twice I had to drop everything and find cloths to do up the horse's +legs, where it had grazed 'em a-fallin' out of the machine. And once I +took my hands out of the pie-crust to find a piece of old rope to tie up +the harness. It seemed as if I left off every five minutes to wait on +Josiah Allen, to find somethin' that he wanted and couldn't find, or +else to do somethin' for him that he couldn't do.</p> + +<p>Truly, it was a wild and harrowin' time, and tegus. But I kept a firm +holt of my principles, and didn't groan—not when anybody could hear me. +I won't deny that I did, out in the buttery by myself, give vent to a +groan or two, and a few sithes. But immegiately, or a very little after, +I was calm again.</p> + +<p>Wall, worse things wuz a-comin' onto me, though I didn't know it. I owed +a tin peddler; had been owin' him for four weeks. I owed him twenty-five +pounds of paper rags, for a new strainer. I had been expectin' him for +over three weeks every day. But in all the three hundred and sixty-five +days of the year, there wuzn't another day that would satisfy him; he +had got to come on jest that day, jest as I wuz fryin' my nut cakes for +dinner.</p> + +<p>I tried to put him off till another day. But no! He said it wuz his last +trip, and he must have his rags. And so I had to put by my work, and lug +down my rag-bag. His steel-yards wuz broke, so he had to weigh 'em in +the house. It wuz a tegus job, for he wuz one of the perticuler kind, +and had to look 'em all over before he weighed 'em, and pick out every +little piece of brown paper, or full cloth—everything, he said, that +wouldn't make up into the nicest kind of writin' paper.</p> + +<p>And my steel-yards wuz out of gear any way, so they wouldn't weigh but +five pounds at a time, and he wuz dretful perticuler to have 'em just +right by the notch.</p> + +<p>And he would call on me to come and see just how the steel-yards stood +every time. (He wuz as honest as the day; I hain't a doubt of it.)</p> + +<p>But it wuz tegus, fearful tegus, and excitin'. Excitin', but not +exhileratin', to have the floor all covered with rags of different +shapes and sizes, no two of a kind. It wuz a curius time before he come, +and a wild time, but what must have been the wildness, and the curosity +when there wuz, to put a small estimate on it, nearly a billion of crazy +lookin' rags scattered round on the floor.</p> + + + +<br><br> +<center> +<img alt="023.jpg (121K)" src="images/023.jpg" height="593" width="590"> +</center> +<br><br> + + +<p>But I kep' calm; I have got giant self-control, and I used every mite of +it, every atom of control I had by me, and kep' calm. I see I must—for +I see that Miss Fogg looked bad; yes, I see that the author of +"Wedlock's Peaceful Repose" wuz pretty much used up. She looked curius, +curiuser than the floor looked, and that is goin' to the complete end of +curosity, and metafor.</p> + +<p>Wall, I tussled along and got dinner ready. The tin peddler had to stay +to dinner, of course. I couldn't turn him out jest at dinner time. And +sometimes I almost think that he delayed matters and touzled 'round +amongst them rags jest a purpose to belate himself, so he would have to +stay to dinner.</p> + +<p>I am called a good cook. It is known 'way out beyend Loontown and +Zoar—it is talked about, I spoze. Wall, he stayed to dinner. But he +only made fourteen; there wuz only thirteen besides him, so I got along. +And I had a good dinner and enough of it.</p> + +<p>I had to wait on the table, of course—that is, the tea and coffee. And +I felt that a cup of good, strong tea would be a paneky. I wuz that wore +out and flustrated that I felt that I needed a paneky to soothe.</p> + +<p>And I got the rest all waited on and wuz jest a liftin' my cup to my +lips, the cup that cheers everybody but don't inebriate 'em—good, +strong Japan tea with cream in it. Oh, how good it smelt. But I hadn't +fairly got it to my mouth when I wuz called off sudden, before I had +drinked a drop, for the case demanded help at once.</p> + +<p>Miss Peedick had unexpected company come in, jest as they wuz a-settin' +down to the dinner-table, and she hadn't hardly anything for dinner, and +the company wuz very genteel—a minister and a Justice of the Peace—so +she wanted to borrow a loaf of bread and a pie.</p> + +<p>She is a good neighbor and is one that will put herself out for a +neighborin' female, and I went into the buttery, almost on the run, to +get 'em for her, for her girl said she wanted to get 'em into the house +and onto the table before Mr. Peedick come in with 'em from the horse +barn, for they knew that Mr. Peedick would lead 'em out to dinner the +very second they got into the house, and Miss Peedick didn't want her +husband to know that she had borrowed vittles, for he would be sure to +let the cat out of the bag, right at the table, by speakin' about 'em +and comparin' 'em with hern.</p> + +<p>I see the necessity for urgent haste, and the trouble wuz that I hurried +too much. In takin' down a pie in my awful hurry, I tipped over a pan of +milk right onto my dress. It wuz up high and I wuz right under the +shelf, so that about three tea-cupsful went down into my neck. But the +most went onto my dress, about five quarts, I should judge besides that +that wuz tricklin' down my backbone.</p> + + + +<br><br> +<center> +<img alt="024.jpg (71K)" src="images/024.jpg" height="572" width="361"> +</center> +<br><br> + + +<p>Wall, I started Serintha Ann Peedick off with her ma's pie and bread, +and then wiped up the floor as well as I could, and then I had to go and +change my clothes. I had to change 'em clear through to my wrapper, for +I wuz wet as sop—as wet as if I had been takin' a milk swim.</p> + +<br><br><br><br> + + +<a name="c5"></a> +<br><br> +<center> +<img alt="024c5.jpg (94K)" src="images/024c5.jpg" height="719" width="588"> +</center> +<br><br> + + + +<p> +CHAPTER V.</p> + +<p> +Wall, the author of "Wedlock's Peaceful Repose" wuz a-waitin' for me to +the table; the men had all got through and gone out. She sot right by +me, and she had missed me, I could see. Her eyes looked bigger than +ever, and more sad like.</p> + +<p>She said, "she was dretful sorry for me," and I believed her.</p> + +<p>She asked me in a awe-stricken tone, "if I had such trials every day?"</p> + +<p>And I told her "No, I didn't." I told her that things would run along +smooth and agreeable for days and days, but that when things got to +happenin', they would happen right along for weeks at a time, sometimes, +dretful curius. A hull batch of difficulties would rain down on anybody +to once. Sez I, "You know Mr. Shakespeare says that' Sorrows never come +a-spyin' along as single fighters, but they come in hull battles of +'em,' or words to that effect."</p> + +<p>Sez I, in reasonable axents, "Mebby I shall have a hull lot of good +things happen to me right along, one after another, some dretful +agreeable days, and easy."</p> + +<p>Sez she in the same sad axents, and wonderin', "Did you ever have +another day in your hull life as hard as this you are a-passin' +through?"</p> + +<p>"Oh, yes," sez I, "lots of'em—some worse ones, and," sez I, "the day +has only jest begun yet, I presume I shall have lots and lots of new +things happen to me before night. Because it is jest as I tell you, when +things get to happenin' there hain't no tellin' when they will ever +stop."</p> + +<p>Miss Fogg groaned, a low, deep groan, and that is every word she said, +only after a little while she spoke up, and sez:</p> + +<p>"You hain't eaten a bit of dinner; it all got cold while you wuz a +changin' your dress."</p> + +<p>"Oh, wall," sez I, "I can get along some way. And I must hurry up and +get the table cleared off any way, and get to my work agin', for I have +got to do a lot of cookin' this afternoon. It takes a sight of pies and +cakes and such to satisfy twelve or a dozen men."</p> + +<p>So I went to work vigorously agin. But well might I tell Miss Fogg "that +the day had only jest begun, and there wuz time for lots of things +to happen before night," for I had only jest got well to work on the +ingregiences of my pies when Submit Tewksbury sent over "to see if I +could let her have them sturchien seeds I had promised her—she wanted +'em to run up the inside of her bedroom winder, and shade her through +the winter. She wuz jest a-settin' out her winter stock of flower roots +and seeds, and wanted 'em immegiatly, and to once, that is, if it was +perfectly convenient," so the boy said.</p> + +<p>Submit is a good creeter, and she wouldn't have put that burden on me on +such a time for nothin', not if she had known my tribulations; but she +didn't, and I felt that one trial more wouldn't, as the poet hath well +said, "either make or break me."</p> + +<p>So I went to huntin' for the seeds. Wall, it wuz a good half-hour before +I could find 'em, for of course it wuz natural nater, accordin' to the +total deprivity of things, that I should find 'em in the bottom of the +last bag of seeds that I overhauled.</p> + +<p>But Submit had been disappointed, and I didn't want to make her burdens +any heavier, so I sent her the sturchien seeds.</p> + +<p>But it wuz a trial I do admit to look over more than forty bags of +garden and flower seeds in such a time as that. But I sent 'em. I sent +Submit the sturchien seeds, and then I laid to work again fast as I +possibly could.</p> + +<p>But I sez to the author of "Peaceful Repose," I sez to her, sez I:</p> + +<p>"I feel bad to think I hain't gettin' no time to hear you rehearse your +lecture, but you can see jest how it is; you see I hain't had a minute's +time today. Mebby I will get a few minutes' time before night; I will +try to," sez I.</p> + +<p>"Oh," sez she, "it hain't no matter about that; I—I—I somehow—I don't +feel like rehearsin' it as it was." Sez she, "I guess I shall make some +changes in it before I rehearse it agin."</p> + +<p>Sez I, "You lay out to make a more mean thing of it, more megum."</p> + +<p>"Yes," sez she, in faint axents, "I am a-thinkin' of it."</p> + + + +<br><br> +<center> +<img alt="026.jpg (54K)" src="images/026.jpg" height="529" width="326"> +</center> +<br><br> + + +<p>"Wall," sez I cheerfully, as I started for the buttery with a pile of +cups in one hand, the castor and pickle dish in the other, and a pile of +napkins under my arm, "I believe I shall like it as well again if you +do, any way," sez I, as I kicked away the cat that wuz a-clawin' my +dress, and opened the door with my foot, both hands bein' full.</p> + +<p>"Any way, there will be as much agin truth in it."</p> + +<p>Wall, I went to work voyalently, and in two hours' time I had got my +work quelled down some. But I had to strain nearly every nerve in the +effort.</p> + +<p>And I am afraid I didn't use the colporter just exactly right, who come +when I wuz right in the midst of puttin' the ingregiences into my tea +cakes. I didn't enter so deep into the argument about the Revised +New Testament as I should in easier and calmer times. I conversed +considerable, I argued some with him, but I didn't get so engaged as +mebby I had ort to. He acted disappointed, and he didn't stay and talk +more'n an hour and three quarters.</p> + +<p>He generally spends half a day with us. He is a master hand to talk; +he'll make your brain fairly spin round he talks so fast and handles +such large, curius words. He talked every minute, only when I wuz +a-answerin' his questions.</p> + + +<br><br> +<center> +<img alt="027.jpg (124K)" src="images/027.jpg" height="609" width="587"> +</center> +<br><br> + + +<p>Wall, he had jest gone, the front gate had just clicked onto him, when +Miss Philander Dagget came in at the back door. She had her press-board +in her hand, and a coat over her arm, and I see in a minute that I had +got another trial onto me. I see I had got to set her right.</p> + +<p>I set her a chair, and she took off her sun-bonnet and hung it over the +back of her chair, and set down, and then she asked me if I could spend +time to put in the sleeves of her husband's coat. She said "there wuz +somethin' wrong about em', but she didn't know what."</p> + +<p>She said "she wouldn't have bothered me that day when I had so much +round, but Philander had got to go to a funeral the next day, as one of +the barriers, and he must have his coat."</p> + +<p>Wall, I wrung my hands out of the dish-water they was in at the time, +and took the coat and looked at it, and the minute I set my eyes on it +I see what ailed it I see she had got the sleeves sot in so the elbows +come right in front of his arms, and if he had wore it in that condition +to the funeral or anywhere else he would have had to fold up his arms +right acrost his back; there wuzn't no other possible way.</p> + +<p>And then I turned tailoress and helped her out of her trouble. I sot +the sleeves in proper, and fixed the collar. She had got it sot on as a +ruffle. I drawed it down smooth where it ort to be and pinned it—and +she went home feelin' first rate.</p> + +<p>I am very neighborly, and helpful, and am called so. Jonesville would +miss me if any thing should happen.</p> + + + + +<br><br> +<center> +<img alt="028.jpg (30K)" src="images/028.jpg" height="470" width="328"> +</center> +<br><br> + + +<p>I have often helped that woman a sight. She is a good, willin' creeter, +but she is apt to get things wrong, dretful apt. She made her little +boy's pantaloons once wrong side before, so it would seem that he would +have to set down from the front side, or else stand up.</p> + +<p>And twice she got her husband's pantaloons sewed up so there wuz no way +to get into em' only to crawl up into 'em through the bottom of the +legs. But I have always made a practice of rippin' and tearin' and +bastin', and settin' her right, and I did now.</p> + +<p>Wall, she hadn't hardly got out of the back door, when Josiah Allen came +in in awful distress, he had got a thorn in his foot, he had put on an +old pair of boots, and there wuz a hole in the side of one of 'em, and +the thorn had got in through the hole. It pained him dretfully, and he +wuz jest as crazy as a loon for the time bein'. And he hollered the +first thing that "he wanted some of Hall's salve." And I told him "there +wuzn't a mite in the house."</p> + +<p>And he hollered up and says, "There would be some if there wuz any sense +in the head of the house."</p> + + + +<br><br> +<center> +<img alt="029.jpg (120K)" src="images/029.jpg" height="609" width="618"> +</center> +<br><br> + + +<p>I glanced up mechanically at his bald head, but didn't say nothin', for +I see it wouldn't do. And he hollered out agin, "Why hain't there any +Hall's salve?" Sez I, "Because old Hall has been dead for years and +years, and hain't made any salve."</p> + +<p>"Wall, he wouldn't have been dead if he had had any care took of him," +he yelled out.</p> + +<p>"Why," sez I, "he wuz killed by lightnin'; struck down entirely +onexpected five years ago last summer."</p> + +<p>"Oh, argue and dispute with a dying man. Gracious Peter! what will +become of me!" he groaned out, a-holdin' his foot in his hand.</p> + +<p>Sez I, "Let me put some Pond's Extract on it, Josiah."</p> + +<p>"Pond's Extract!" he yelled, and then he called that good remedy words I +wuz ashamed to hear him utter.</p> + +<p>And he jumped round and pranced and kicked just as it is the nater of +man to act under bodily injury of that sort. And then he ordered me to +take a pin and get the thorn out, and then acted mad as a hen at me +all the time I wuz a-doin' it; acted jest as if I wuz a-prickin' him +a-purpose.</p> + +<p>He talked voyalent and mad. I tried to hush him down; I told him the +author of "Wedlock's Peaceful Repose" would hear him, and he hollered +back "he didn't care a cent who heard him. He wuz killed, and he +shouldn't live to trouble anybody long if that pain kept up."</p> + +<p>His acts and words wuz exceedingly skairful to anybody who didn't +understand the nater of a man. But I wuzn't moved by 'em so much as the +width of a horse hair. Good land! I knew that jest as soon as the pain +subsided he would be good as gold, so I kep' on, cool and collected, and +got the thorn out, and did up the suffering toe in Pond's Extract, and I +hadn't only jest got it done, when, for all the world! if I didn't see a +double team stop in front of the house, and I peeked through the winder +and see as it wuz the livery stable man from Jonesville, and he had +brung down the last straws to be lifted onto the camel's back—a hull +lot of onexpected company. A hull load of 'em.</p> + +<p>There wuz the Baptist minister and his wife and their three children, +and the minister's wife's sister-in-law from the West, who wuz there +a-visitin', and the editor of the <i>Augur'ses</i> wife (she wuz related to +the visitor from the West by marriage) and three of the twins. And old +Miss Minkley, she wuz acquainted with the visitor's mother, used to go +to school with her. And Drusilly Sypher, she wuz the visitor from the +West's bosom friend, or used to be.</p> + +<p>Wall, they had all come down to spend the afternoon and visit with each +other, and with me and Josiah, and stay to supper.</p> + +<br><br><br><br> + + +<a name="c6"></a> +<br><br> +<center> +<img alt="030c6.jpg (107K)" src="images/030c6.jpg" height="706" width="590"> +</center> +<br><br> + + +<p> +CHAPTER VI.</p> + +<p> +The author of "Peaceful Repose" sez to me, and she looked pale and +skairt; she had heard every word Josiah had said, and she wuz dretful +skairt and shocked (not knowin' the ways of men, and not understandin', +as I said prior and before, that in two hours' time he would be jest as +good as the very best kind of pie, affectionate, and even spoony, if I +would allow spoons, which I will not the most of the time). Wall, she +proposed, Miss Fogg did, that she should ride back with the livery man. +And though I urged her to stay till night, I couldn't urge her as hard +as I would otherwise, for by that time the head of the procession of +visitors had reached the door-step, and I had to meet 'em with smiles.</p> + + + +<br><br> +<center> +<img alt="031.jpg (145K)" src="images/031.jpg" height="683" width="618"> +</center> +<br><br> + + +<p>I smiled some, I thought I must. But they wuz curius smiles, very, +strange-lookin' smiles, sort o' gloomy ones, and mournful lookin'. I +have got lots of different smiles that I keep by me for different +occasions, every woman has, and this wuz one of my most mournfulest and +curiusest ones.</p> + +<p>Wall, the author of "Wedlock's Peaceful and Perfect Repose" insisted on +goin', and she went. And I sez to her as she went down the steps, "That +if she would come up some other day when I didn't have quite so much +work round, I would be as good as my word to her about hearin' her +rehearse the lecture."</p> + +<p>But she said, as she hurried out to the gate, lookin' pale an' wan (as +wan agin as she did when she came, if not wanner): "That she should make +<i>changes</i> in it before she ever rehearsed it agin—<i>deep changes</i>!"</p> + +<p>And I should dare to persume to say that she did. Though, as I say, she +went off most awful sudden, and I hadn't seen nor heard from her sence +till I got this letter.</p> + +<p>Wall, jest as I got through with the authoresses letter, and Lodema +Trumble's, Josiah Allen came. And I hurried up the supper. I got it all +on the table while I wuz a steepin' my tea (it wuz good tea). And we sot +down to the table happy as a king and his queen. I don't s'pose queens +make a practice of steepin' tea, but mebby they would be better off if +they did—and have better appetites and better tea. Any way we felt +well, and the supper tasted good. And though Josiah squirmed some when I +told him Lodema wuz approachin' and would be there that very night or +the next day—still the cloud wore away and melted off in the glowin' +mellowness of the hot tea and cream, the delicious oysters and other +good things.</p> + + +<br><br> +<center> +<img alt="032.jpg (49K)" src="images/032.jpg" height="479" width="345"> +</center> +<br><br> + +<p>My pardner, though, as he often says, is not a epicack, still he duz +enjoy good vittles dretful well and appreciates 'em. And I make a stiddy +practice of doin' the best I can by him in this direction.</p> + +<p>And if more females would foller on and cipher out this simple rule, and +get the correct answer to it, the cramp in the right hands of divorce +lawyers would almost entirely disappear.</p> + +<p>For truly it seems that <i>no</i> human man <i>could be</i> more worrysome, and +curius, and hard to get along with than Josiah Allen is at times; still, +by stiddy keepin' of my table set out with good vittles from day to day, +and year to year, the golden cord of affection has bound him to me by +ties that can't never be broken into.</p> + +<p>He worships me! And the better vittles I get, the more he thinks on me. +For love, however true and deep it is, is still a tumultous sea; it has +its high tides, and its low ones, its whirlpools, and its calms.</p> + +<p>He loves me a good deal better some days than he does others; I see it +in his mean. And mark you! mark it well, female reader, these days are +the ones that I cook up sights and sights of good food, and with a +cheerful countenance and clean apron, set it before him in a bright +room, on a snowy table-cloth!</p> + +<p>Great—great is the mystery of men's love.</p> + +<p>I have often and often repeated this simple fact and truth that +underlies married life, and believe me, dear married sisters, too much +cannot be said about it, by those whose hearts beat for the good of +female and male humanity—and it <i>cannot</i> be too closely followed up and +practised by female pardners.</p> + +<p>But I am a-eppisodin'; and to resoom.</p> + +<p>Wall, Lodema Trumble arrove the next mornin' bright and early—I mean +the mornin' wuz bright, not Lodema—oh no, fur from it; Lodema is never +bright and cheerful—she is the opposite and reverse always.</p> + +<p>She is a old maiden. I do think it sounds so much more respectful to +call 'em so rather than "old maid" (but I had to tutor Josiah dretful +sharp before I could get him into it).</p> + +<p>I guess Lodema is one of the regular sort. There is different kinds of +old maidens, some that could marry if they would, and some that +would but couldn't. And I ruther mistrust she is one of the +"would-but-couldn't's," though I wouldn't dast to let her know I said +so, not for the world.</p> + +<p>Josiah never could bear the sight of her, and he sort o' blamed her for +bein' a old maiden. But I put a stop to that sudden, for sez I:</p> + +<p>"She hain't to blame, Josiah."</p> + +<p>And she wuzn't. I hain't a doubt of it.</p> + +<p>Wall, how long she calculated to stay this time we didn't know. But we +had our fears and forebodin's about it; for she wuz in the habit of +makin' awful long visits. Why, sometimes she would descend right down +onto us sudden and onexpected, and stay fourteen weeks right along—jest +like a famine or a pestilence, or any other simely that you are a mind +to bring up that is tuckerin' and stiddy.</p> + +<p>And she wuz disagreeable, I'll confess, and she wuz tuckerin', but I +done well by her, and stood between her and Josiah all I could. He loved +to put on her, and she loved to impose on him. I don't stand up for +either on 'em, but they wuz at regular swords' pints all the time +a'most. And it come fearful tuff on me, fearful tuff, for I had to stand +the brunt on it.</p> + +<p>But she is a disagreeable creeter, and no mistake. She is one of them +that can't find one solitary thing or one solitary person in this wide +world to suit 'em. If the weather is cold she is pinin' for hot weather, +and if the weather is hot she is pantin' for zero.</p> + + +<br><br> +<center> +<img alt="033.jpg (44K)" src="images/033.jpg" height="482" width="366"> +</center> +<br><br> + + +<p>If it is a pleasant day the sun hurts her eyes, and if it is cloudy she +groans aloud and says "she can't see."</p> + +<p>And no human bein' wuz ever known to suit her. She gets up early in the +mornin' and puts on her specs, and goes out (as it were) a-huntin' up +faults in folks. And she finds 'em, finds lots of 'em. And then she +spends the rest of the day a-drivin' 'em ahead of her, and groanin' at +'em.</p> + +<p>You know this world bein' such a big place and so many different sort o' +things in it that you can generally find in it the perticuler sort of +game you set out to hunt in the mornin'.</p> + +<p>If you set out to hunt beauty and goodness, if you take good aim and are +perseverin'—if you jest track 'em and foller 'em stiddy from mornin' +till night, and don't get led away a-follerin' up some other game, +such as meanness and selfishness and other such worthless head o' +cattle—why, at night you will come in with a sight of good game. You +will be a noble and happy hunter.</p> + + + +<br><br> +<center> +<img alt="034.jpg (112K)" src="images/034.jpg" height="596" width="596"> +</center> +<br><br> + + +<p>At the same time, if you hunt all day for faults you will come in at +night with sights of pelts. You will find what you hunt for, track 'em +right along and chase 'em down. Wall, Lodema never got led away from +her perticuler chase. She just hunted faults from mornin' till night, +and done well at it. She brought in sights of skins.</p> + +<p>But oh! wuzn't it disagreeable in the extreme to Samantha, who had +always tried to bend her bow and bring down Beauty, to have her familiar +huntin' grounds turned into so different a warpath. It wuz disagreeable! +It wuz! It wuz!</p> + +<p>And then, havin' to stand between her and Josiah too, wuz fearful +wearin' on me. I had always stood there in the past, and now in this +visit it wuz jest the same; all the hull time, till about the middle of +the fifth week, I had to stand between their two tongues—they didn't +fight with their hands, but fit with their tongues, fearful.</p> + + + + + +<br><br><hr><br><br> + + + + + + + + + +<pre> + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Samantha Among the Brethren, Part 2. +by Josiah Allen's Wife (Marietta Holley) + +*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK SAMANTHA AMONG THE BRETHREN, *** + +***** This file should be named 9444-h.htm or 9444-h.zip ***** +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: + https://www.gutenberg.org/9/4/4/9444/ + +Produced by Juliet Sutherland, David Widger and PG Distributed +Proofreaders + + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: Samantha Among the Brethren, Part 2. + +Author: Josiah Allen's Wife (Marietta Holley) + +Release Date: August 10, 2004 [EBook #9444] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ASCII + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK SAMANTHA AMONG THE BRETHREN, *** + + + + +Produced by Juliet Sutherland, David Widger and PG Distributed +Proofreaders + + + + + + +SAMANTHA + +AMONG THE BRETHREN. + +By + +"Josiah Allen's Wife" + +(Marietta Holley) + + +Part 2 + + + + +CHAPTER IV. + + +Never knew a word about the threshin' machine a-comin' till about half +an hour before. Josiah Allen wuzn't to blame. It come just as onexpected +onto him as it did onto me. + +Solomon Gowdey wuz a-goin' to have 'em first, which would have left me +ample time to cook up for 'em. But he wuz took down bed sick, so they +had to come right onto us with no warnin' previous and beforehand. + +They wuz a drivin' up just as Josiah got the stove-pipe up. They had to +go right by the side of the house, right by the parlor winders, to get +to the side of the barn where they wanted to thresh; and just as they +wuz a-goin' by one of the horses got down, and of all the yellin' I ever +heard that was the cap sheaf. + +Steve Yerden is rough on his horses, dretful rough. He yells at 'em +enough to raise the ruff. His threshin' machine is one of the kind where +the horses walk up and look over the top. It is kinder skairful any way, +and it made it as bad agin when you expected to see the horse fall out +every minute. + +Wall, that very horse fell out of the machine three times that day. It +wuz a sick horse, I believe, and hadn't ort to have been worked. But +three times it fell, and each time the yellin' wuz such that it skairt +the author of "Peaceful Repose," and me, almost to death. + +The machine wuz in plain sight of the house, and every time we see the +horse's head come a mountin' up on top of the machine, we expected that +over it would go. But though it didn't fall out only three times, as I +said, it kep' us all nerved up and uneasy the hull of the time expectin' +it. And Steve Yerden kep' a-yellin' at his horses all the time; there +wuzn't no comfort to be took within a mile of him. + +I wuz awful sorry it happened so, on her account. + +[Illustration: "IT DIDN'T FALL OUT ONLY THREE TIMES."] + +Wall, I had to get dinner for nine men, and cook if all from the very +beginnin'. If you'll believe it, I had to begin back to bread. I hadn't +any bread in the house, but I had it a-risin', and I got two loaves out +by dinner time. But I had to stir round lively, I can tell you, to make +pies and cookies and fried cakes, and cook meat, and vegetables of all +kinds. + +The author of "Wedlock's Peaceful Repose" came out into the kitchen. I +told her she might, if she wanted to, for I see I wuzn't goin' to have a +minute's time to go into the parlor and visit with her. + +She looked pretty sober and thoughtful, and I didn't know as she liked +it, to think I couldn't do as I promised to do, accordin' to agreement, +to hear her lecture, and lift my hand up when I differed from her. + +But, good land! I couldn't help it. I couldn't get a minute's time to +lift my hand up. I could have heard the lecture, but I couldn't spare my +hands. + +And then Josiah would come a-rushin' in after one thing and another, +actin' as was natural, accordin' to the nater of man, more like a wild +man than a Christian Methodist. For he was so wrought up and excited by +havin' so much on his hands to do, and the onexpectedness of it, that he +couldn't help actin' jest as he did act. I don't believe he could. And +then Steve Yerden is enough to distract a leather-man, any way. + +[Illustration: "TO FIND A PIECE OF OLD ROPE TO TIE UP THE HARNESS."] + +Twice I had to drop everything and find cloths to do up the horse's +legs, where it had grazed 'em a-fallin' out of the machine. And once I +took my hands out of the pie-crust to find a piece of old rope to tie up +the harness. It seemed as if I left off every five minutes to wait on +Josiah Allen, to find somethin' that he wanted and couldn't find, or +else to do somethin' for him that he couldn't do. + +Truly, it was a wild and harrowin' time, and tegus. But I kept a firm +holt of my principles, and didn't groan--not when anybody could hear me. +I won't deny that I did, out in the buttery by myself, give vent to a +groan or two, and a few sithes. But immegiately, or a very little after, +I was calm again. + +Wall, worse things wuz a-comin' onto me, though I didn't know it. I owed +a tin peddler; had been owin' him for four weeks. I owed him twenty-five +pounds of paper rags, for a new strainer. I had been expectin' him for +over three weeks every day. But in all the three hundred and sixty-five +days of the year, there wuzn't another day that would satisfy him; he +had got to come on jest that day, jest as I wuz fryin' my nut cakes for +dinner. + +I tried to put him off till another day. But no! He said it wuz his last +trip, and he must have his rags. And so I had to put by my work, and lug +down my rag-bag. His steel-yards wuz broke, so he had to weigh 'em in +the house. It wuz a tegus job, for he wuz one of the perticuler kind, +and had to look 'em all over before he weighed 'em, and pick out every +little piece of brown paper, or full cloth--everything, he said, that +wouldn't make up into the nicest kind of writin' paper. + +And my steel-yards wuz out of gear any way, so they wouldn't weigh but +five pounds at a time, and he wuz dretful perticuler to have 'em just +right by the notch. + +And he would call on me to come and see just how the steel-yards stood +every time. (He wuz as honest as the day; I hain't a doubt of it.) + +But it wuz tegus, fearful tegus, and excitin'. Excitin', but not +exhileratin', to have the floor all covered with rags of different +shapes and sizes, no two of a kind. It wuz a curius time before he come, +and a wild time, but what must have been the wildness, and the curosity +when there wuz, to put a small estimate on it, nearly a billion of crazy +lookin' rags scattered round on the floor. + +[Illustration: "SHE LOOKED CURIUS, CURIUSER THAN THE FLOOR LOOKED."] + +But I kep' calm; I have got giant self-control, and I used every mite of +it, every atom of control I had by me, and kep' calm. I see I must--for +I see that Miss Fogg looked bad; yes, I see that the author of +"Wedlock's Peaceful Repose" wuz pretty much used up. She looked curius, +curiuser than the floor looked, and that is goin' to the complete end of +curosity, and metafor. + +Wall, I tussled along and got dinner ready. The tin peddler had to stay +to dinner, of course. I couldn't turn him out jest at dinner time. And +sometimes I almost think that he delayed matters and touzled 'round +amongst them rags jest a purpose to belate himself, so he would have to +stay to dinner. + +I am called a good cook. It is known 'way out beyend Loontown and +Zoar--it is talked about, I spoze. Wall, he stayed to dinner. But he +only made fourteen; there wuz only thirteen besides him, so I got along. +And I had a good dinner and enough of it. + +I had to wait on the table, of course--that is, the tea and coffee. And +I felt that a cup of good, strong tea would be a paneky. I wuz that wore +out and flustrated that I felt that I needed a paneky to soothe. + +And I got the rest all waited on and wuz jest a liftin' my cup to my +lips, the cup that cheers everybody but don't inebriate 'em--good, +strong Japan tea with cream in it. Oh, how good it smelt. But I hadn't +fairly got it to my mouth when I wuz called off sudden, before I had +drinked a drop, for the case demanded help at once. + +Miss Peedick had unexpected company come in, jest as they wuz a-settin' +down to the dinner-table, and she hadn't hardly anything for dinner, and +the company wuz very genteel--a minister and a Justice of the Peace--so +she wanted to borrow a loaf of bread and a pie. + +She is a good neighbor and is one that will put herself out for a +neighborin' female, and I went into the buttery, almost on the run, to +get 'em for her, for her girl said she wanted to get 'em into the house +and onto the table before Mr. Peedick come in with 'em from the horse +barn, for they knew that Mr. Peedick would lead 'em out to dinner the +very second they got into the house, and Miss Peedick didn't want her +husband to know that she had borrowed vittles, for he would be sure to +let the cat out of the bag, right at the table, by speakin' about 'em +and comparin' 'em with hern. + +I see the necessity for urgent haste, and the trouble wuz that I hurried +too much. In takin' down a pie in my awful hurry, I tipped over a pan of +milk right onto my dress. It wuz up high and I wuz right under the +shelf, so that about three tea-cupsful went down into my neck. But the +most went onto my dress, about five quarts, I should judge besides that +that wuz tricklin' down my backbone. + +[Illustration: "I SEE THE NECESSITY FOR URGENT HASTE."] + +Wall, I started Serintha Ann Peedick off with her ma's pie and bread, +and then wiped up the floor as well as I could, and then I had to go and +change my clothes. I had to change 'em clear through to my wrapper, for +I wuz wet as sop--as wet as if I had been takin' a milk swim. + + + + +CHAPTER V. + + +Wall, the author of "Wedlock's Peaceful Repose" wuz a-waitin' for me to +the table; the men had all got through and gone out. She sot right by +me, and she had missed me, I could see. Her eyes looked bigger than +ever, and more sad like. + +She said, "she was dretful sorry for me," and I believed her. + +She asked me in a awe-stricken tone, "if I had such trials every day?" + +And I told her "No, I didn't." I told her that things would run along +smooth and agreeable for days and days, but that when things got to +happenin', they would happen right along for weeks at a time, sometimes, +dretful curius. A hull batch of difficulties would rain down on anybody +to once. Sez I, "You know Mr. Shakespeare says that' Sorrows never come +a-spyin' along as single fighters, but they come in hull battles of +'em,' or words to that effect." + +Sez I, in reasonable axents, "Mebby I shall have a hull lot of good +things happen to me right along, one after another, some dretful +agreeable days, and easy." + +Sez she in the same sad axents, and wonderin', "Did you ever have +another day in your hull life as hard as this you are a-passin' +through?" + +"Oh, yes," sez I, "lots of'em--some worse ones, and," sez I, "the day +has only jest begun yet, I presume I shall have lots and lots of new +things happen to me before night. Because it is jest as I tell you, when +things get to happenin' there hain't no tellin' when they will ever +stop." + +Miss Fogg groaned, a low, deep groan, and that is every word she said, +only after a little while she spoke up, and sez: + +"You hain't eaten a bit of dinner; it all got cold while you wuz a +changin' your dress." + +"Oh, wall," sez I, "I can get along some way. And I must hurry up and +get the table cleared off any way, and get to my work agin', for I have +got to do a lot of cookin' this afternoon. It takes a sight of pies and +cakes and such to satisfy twelve or a dozen men." + +So I went to work vigorously agin. But well might I tell Miss Fogg "that +the day had only jest begun, and there wuz time for lots of things +to happen before night," for I had only jest got well to work on the +ingregiences of my pies when Submit Tewksbury sent over "to see if I +could let her have them sturchien seeds I had promised her--she wanted +'em to run up the inside of her bedroom winder, and shade her through +the winter. She wuz jest a-settin' out her winter stock of flower roots +and seeds, and wanted 'em immegiatly, and to once, that is, if it was +perfectly convenient," so the boy said. + +Submit is a good creeter, and she wouldn't have put that burden on me on +such a time for nothin', not if she had known my tribulations; but she +didn't, and I felt that one trial more wouldn't, as the poet hath well +said, "either make or break me." + +So I went to huntin' for the seeds. Wall, it wuz a good half-hour before +I could find 'em, for of course it wuz natural nater, accordin' to the +total deprivity of things, that I should find 'em in the bottom of the +last bag of seeds that I overhauled. + +But Submit had been disappointed, and I didn't want to make her burdens +any heavier, so I sent her the sturchien seeds. + +But it wuz a trial I do admit to look over more than forty bags of +garden and flower seeds in such a time as that. But I sent 'em. I sent +Submit the sturchien seeds, and then I laid to work again fast as I +possibly could. + +But I sez to the author of "Peaceful Repose," I sez to her, sez I: + +"I feel bad to think I hain't gettin' no time to hear you rehearse your +lecture, but you can see jest how it is; you see I hain't had a minute's +time today. Mebby I will get a few minutes' time before night; I will +try to," sez I. + +"Oh," sez she, "it hain't no matter about that; I--I--I somehow--I don't +feel like rehearsin' it as it was." Sez she, "I guess I shall make some +changes in it before I rehearse it agin." + +Sez I, "You lay out to make a more mean thing of it, more megum." + +"Yes," sez she, in faint axents, "I am a-thinkin' of it." + +[Illustration: "AS I STARTED FOR THE BUTTERY."] + +"Wall," sez I cheerfully, as I started for the buttery with a pile of +cups in one hand, the castor and pickle dish in the other, and a pile of +napkins under my arm, "I believe I shall like it as well again if you +do, any way," sez I, as I kicked away the cat that wuz a-clawin' my +dress, and opened the door with my foot, both hands bein' full. + +"Any way, there will be as much agin truth in it." + +Wall, I went to work voyalently, and in two hours' time I had got my +work quelled down some. But I had to strain nearly every nerve in the +effort. + +And I am afraid I didn't use the colporter just exactly right, who come +when I wuz right in the midst of puttin' the ingregiences into my tea +cakes. I didn't enter so deep into the argument about the Revised +New Testament as I should in easier and calmer times. I conversed +considerable, I argued some with him, but I didn't get so engaged as +mebby I had ort to. He acted disappointed, and he didn't stay and talk +more'n an hour and three quarters. + +He generally spends half a day with us. He is a master hand to talk; +he'll make your brain fairly spin round he talks so fast and handles +such large, curius words. He talked every minute, only when I wuz +a-answerin' his questions. + +[Illustration: "THERE WUZ SOMETHIN' WRONG ABOUT 'EM."] + +Wall, he had jest gone, the front gate had just clicked onto him, when +Miss Philander Dagget came in at the back door. She had her press-board +in her hand, and a coat over her arm, and I see in a minute that I had +got another trial onto me. I see I had got to set her right. + +I set her a chair, and she took off her sun-bonnet and hung it over the +back of her chair, and set down, and then she asked me if I could spend +time to put in the sleeves of her husband's coat. She said "there wuz +somethin' wrong about em', but she didn't know what." + +She said "she wouldn't have bothered me that day when I had so much +round, but Philander had got to go to a funeral the next day, as one of +the barriers, and he must have his coat." + +Wall, I wrung my hands out of the dish-water they was in at the time, +and took the coat and looked at it, and the minute I set my eyes on it +I see what ailed it I see she had got the sleeves sot in so the elbows +come right in front of his arms, and if he had wore it in that condition +to the funeral or anywhere else he would have had to fold up his arms +right acrost his back; there wuzn't no other possible way. + +And then I turned tailoress and helped her out of her trouble. I sot +the sleeves in proper, and fixed the collar. She had got it sot on as a +ruffle. I drawed it down smooth where it ort to be and pinned it--and +she went home feelin' first rate. + +I am very neighborly, and helpful, and am called so. Jonesville would +miss me if any thing should happen. + +[Illustration: "SHE IS APT TO GET THINGS WRONG."] + +I have often helped that woman a sight. She is a good, willin' creeter, +but she is apt to get things wrong, dretful apt. She made her little +boy's pantaloons once wrong side before, so it would seem that he would +have to set down from the front side, or else stand up. + +And twice she got her husband's pantaloons sewed up so there wuz no way +to get into em' only to crawl up into 'em through the bottom of the +legs. But I have always made a practice of rippin' and tearin' and +bastin', and settin' her right, and I did now. + +Wall, she hadn't hardly got out of the back door, when Josiah Allen came +in in awful distress, he had got a thorn in his foot, he had put on an +old pair of boots, and there wuz a hole in the side of one of 'em, and +the thorn had got in through the hole. It pained him dretfully, and he +wuz jest as crazy as a loon for the time bein'. And he hollered the +first thing that "he wanted some of Hall's salve." And I told him "there +wuzn't a mite in the house." + +And he hollered up and says, "There would be some if there wuz any sense +in the head of the house." + +[Illustration: "HE WANTED SOME OF HALL'S SALVE."] + +I glanced up mechanically at his bald head, but didn't say nothin', for +I see it wouldn't do. And he hollered out agin, "Why hain't there any +Hall's salve?" Sez I, "Because old Hall has been dead for years and +years, and hain't made any salve." + +"Wall, he wouldn't have been dead if he had had any care took of him," +he yelled out. + +"Why," sez I, "he wuz killed by lightnin'; struck down entirely +onexpected five years ago last summer." + +"Oh, argue and dispute with a dying man. Gracious Peter! what will +become of me!" he groaned out, a-holdin' his foot in his hand. + +Sez I, "Let me put some Pond's Extract on it, Josiah." + +"Pond's Extract!" he yelled, and then he called that good remedy words I +wuz ashamed to hear him utter. + +And he jumped round and pranced and kicked just as it is the nater of +man to act under bodily injury of that sort. And then he ordered me to +take a pin and get the thorn out, and then acted mad as a hen at me +all the time I wuz a-doin' it; acted jest as if I wuz a-prickin' him +a-purpose. + +He talked voyalent and mad. I tried to hush him down; I told him the +author of "Wedlock's Peaceful Repose" would hear him, and he hollered +back "he didn't care a cent who heard him. He wuz killed, and he +shouldn't live to trouble anybody long if that pain kept up." + +His acts and words wuz exceedingly skairful to anybody who didn't +understand the nater of a man. But I wuzn't moved by 'em so much as the +width of a horse hair. Good land! I knew that jest as soon as the pain +subsided he would be good as gold, so I kep' on, cool and collected, and +got the thorn out, and did up the suffering toe in Pond's Extract, and I +hadn't only jest got it done, when, for all the world! if I didn't see a +double team stop in front of the house, and I peeked through the winder +and see as it wuz the livery stable man from Jonesville, and he had +brung down the last straws to be lifted onto the camel's back--a hull +lot of onexpected company. A hull load of 'em. + +There wuz the Baptist minister and his wife and their three children, +and the minister's wife's sister-in-law from the West, who wuz there +a-visitin', and the editor of the _Augur'ses_ wife (she wuz related to +the visitor from the West by marriage) and three of the twins. And old +Miss Minkley, she wuz acquainted with the visitor's mother, used to go +to school with her. And Drusilly Sypher, she wuz the visitor from the +West's bosom friend, or used to be. + +Wall, they had all come down to spend the afternoon and visit with each +other, and with me and Josiah, and stay to supper. + + + + +CHAPTER VI. + + +The author of "Peaceful Repose" sez to me, and she looked pale and +skairt; she had heard every word Josiah had said, and she wuz dretful +skairt and shocked (not knowin' the ways of men, and not understandin', +as I said prior and before, that in two hours' time he would be jest as +good as the very best kind of pie, affectionate, and even spoony, if I +would allow spoons, which I will not the most of the time). Wall, she +proposed, Miss Fogg did, that she should ride back with the livery man. +And though I urged her to stay till night, I couldn't urge her as hard +as I would otherwise, for by that time the head of the procession of +visitors had reached the door-step, and I had to meet 'em with smiles. + +[Illustration: "SHE PROPOSED THAT SHE SHOULD RIDE BACK WITH THE LIVERY +MAN."] + +I smiled some, I thought I must. But they wuz curius smiles, very, +strange-lookin' smiles, sort o' gloomy ones, and mournful lookin'. I +have got lots of different smiles that I keep by me for different +occasions, every woman has, and this wuz one of my most mournfulest and +curiusest ones. + +Wall, the author of "Wedlock's Peaceful and Perfect Repose" insisted on +goin', and she went. And I sez to her as she went down the steps, "That +if she would come up some other day when I didn't have quite so much +work round, I would be as good as my word to her about hearin' her +rehearse the lecture." + +But she said, as she hurried out to the gate, lookin' pale an' wan (as +wan agin as she did when she came, if not wanner): "That she should make +_changes_ in it before she ever rehearsed it agin--_deep changes_!" + +And I should dare to persume to say that she did. Though, as I say, she +went off most awful sudden, and I hadn't seen nor heard from her sence +till I got this letter. + +Wall, jest as I got through with the authoresses letter, and Lodema +Trumble's, Josiah Allen came. And I hurried up the supper. I got it all +on the table while I wuz a steepin' my tea (it wuz good tea). And we sot +down to the table happy as a king and his queen. I don't s'pose queens +make a practice of steepin' tea, but mebby they would be better off if +they did--and have better appetites and better tea. Any way we felt +well, and the supper tasted good. And though Josiah squirmed some when I +told him Lodema wuz approachin' and would be there that very night or +the next day--still the cloud wore away and melted off in the glowin' +mellowness of the hot tea and cream, the delicious oysters and other +good things. + +[Illustration: "MY PARDNER ENJOYS GOOD VITTLES."] + +My pardner, though, as he often says, is not a epicack, still he duz +enjoy good vittles dretful well and appreciates 'em. And I make a stiddy +practice of doin' the best I can by him in this direction. + +And if more females would foller on and cipher out this simple rule, and +get the correct answer to it, the cramp in the right hands of divorce +lawyers would almost entirely disappear. + +For truly it seems that _no_ human man _could be_ more worrysome, and +curius, and hard to get along with than Josiah Allen is at times; still, +by stiddy keepin' of my table set out with good vittles from day to day, +and year to year, the golden cord of affection has bound him to me by +ties that can't never be broken into. + +He worships me! And the better vittles I get, the more he thinks on me. +For love, however true and deep it is, is still a tumultous sea; it has +its high tides, and its low ones, its whirlpools, and its calms. + +He loves me a good deal better some days than he does others; I see it +in his mean. And mark you! mark it well, female reader, these days are +the ones that I cook up sights and sights of good food, and with a +cheerful countenance and clean apron, set it before him in a bright +room, on a snowy table-cloth! + +Great--great is the mystery of men's love. + +I have often and often repeated this simple fact and truth that +underlies married life, and believe me, dear married sisters, too much +cannot be said about it, by those whose hearts beat for the good of +female and male humanity--and it _cannot_ be too closely followed up and +practised by female pardners. + +But I am a-eppisodin'; and to resoom. + +Wall, Lodema Trumble arrove the next mornin' bright and early--I mean +the mornin' wuz bright, not Lodema--oh no, fur from it; Lodema is never +bright and cheerful--she is the opposite and reverse always. + +She is a old maiden. I do think it sounds so much more respectful to +call 'em so rather than "old maid" (but I had to tutor Josiah dretful +sharp before I could get him into it). + +I guess Lodema is one of the regular sort. There is different kinds of +old maidens, some that could marry if they would, and some that +would but couldn't. And I ruther mistrust she is one of the +"would-but-couldn't's," though I wouldn't dast to let her know I said +so, not for the world. + +Josiah never could bear the sight of her, and he sort o' blamed her for +bein' a old maiden. But I put a stop to that sudden, for sez I: + +"She hain't to blame, Josiah." + +And she wuzn't. I hain't a doubt of it. + +Wall, how long she calculated to stay this time we didn't know. But we +had our fears and forebodin's about it; for she wuz in the habit of +makin' awful long visits. Why, sometimes she would descend right down +onto us sudden and onexpected, and stay fourteen weeks right along--jest +like a famine or a pestilence, or any other simely that you are a mind +to bring up that is tuckerin' and stiddy. + +And she wuz disagreeable, I'll confess, and she wuz tuckerin', but I +done well by her, and stood between her and Josiah all I could. He loved +to put on her, and she loved to impose on him. I don't stand up for +either on 'em, but they wuz at regular swords' pints all the time +a'most. And it come fearful tuff on me, fearful tuff, for I had to stand +the brunt on it. + +But she is a disagreeable creeter, and no mistake. She is one of them +that can't find one solitary thing or one solitary person in this wide +world to suit 'em. If the weather is cold she is pinin' for hot weather, +and if the weather is hot she is pantin' for zero. + +[Illustration: "BUT SHE IS A DISAGREEABLE CREETER."] + +If it is a pleasant day the sun hurts her eyes, and if it is cloudy she +groans aloud and says "she can't see." + +And no human bein' wuz ever known to suit her. She gets up early in the +mornin' and puts on her specs, and goes out (as it were) a-huntin' up +faults in folks. And she finds 'em, finds lots of 'em. And then she +spends the rest of the day a-drivin' 'em ahead of her, and groanin' at +'em. + +You know this world bein' such a big place and so many different sort o' +things in it that you can generally find in it the perticuler sort of +game you set out to hunt in the mornin'. + +If you set out to hunt beauty and goodness, if you take good aim and are +perseverin'--if you jest track 'em and foller 'em stiddy from mornin' +till night, and don't get led away a-follerin' up some other game, +such as meanness and selfishness and other such worthless head o' +cattle--why, at night you will come in with a sight of good game. You +will be a noble and happy hunter. + +[Illustration: "BUT FIT WITH THEIR TONGUES, FEARFUL."] + +At the same time, if you hunt all day for faults you will come in at +night with sights of pelts. You will find what you hunt for, track 'em +right along and chase 'em down. Wall, Lodema never got led away from +her perticuler chase. She just hunted faults from mornin' till night, +and done well at it. She brought in sights of skins. + +But oh! wuzn't it disagreeable in the extreme to Samantha, who had +always tried to bend her bow and bring down Beauty, to have her familiar +huntin' grounds turned into so different a warpath. It wuz disagreeable! +It wuz! It wuz! + +And then, havin' to stand between her and Josiah too, wuz fearful +wearin' on me. I had always stood there in the past, and now in this +visit it wuz jest the same; all the hull time, till about the middle of +the fifth week, I had to stand between their two tongues--they didn't +fight with their hands, but fit with their tongues, fearful. + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Samantha Among the Brethren, Part 2. +by Josiah Allen's Wife (Marietta Holley) + +*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK SAMANTHA AMONG THE BRETHREN, *** + +***** This file should be named 9444.txt or 9444.zip ***** +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: + https://www.gutenberg.org/9/4/4/9444/ + +Produced by Juliet Sutherland, David Widger and PG Distributed +Proofreaders + + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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