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+The Project Gutenberg EBook of Time's Portraiture, by Nathaniel Hawthorne
+
+This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
+almost no restrictions whatsoever.  You may copy it, give it away or
+re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
+with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org
+
+
+Title: Time's Portraiture
+
+Author: Nathaniel Hawthorne
+
+Posting Date: December 23, 2010 [EBook #9252]
+Release Date: November, 2005
+First Posted: September 25, 2003
+Last Updated: February 8, 2007
+
+Language: English
+
+Character set encoding: ASCII
+
+*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK TIME'S PORTRAITURE ***
+
+
+
+
+Produced by David Widger.  HTML version by Al Haines.
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+                 THE DOLIVER ROMANCE AND OTHER PIECES
+
+                         TALES AND SKETCHES
+
+                       By Nathaniel Hawthorne
+
+
+                         TIME'S PORTRAITURE
+
+
+
+Being the Carrier's Address to the Patrons of "The Salem Gazette" for
+the 1st of January, 1838.
+
+ADDRESS.
+
+Kind Patrons:---We newspaper carriers are Time's errand-boys; and all
+the year round, the old gentleman sends us from one of your doors to
+another, to let you know what he is talking about and what he is doing.
+We are a strange set of urchins; for, punctually on New Year's morning,
+one and all of us are seized with a fit of rhyme, and break forth in such
+hideous strains, that it would be no wonder if the infant Year, with her
+step upon the threshold, were frightened away by the discord with which
+we strive to welcome her.  On these occasions, most generous patrons,
+you never fail to give us a taste of your bounty; but whether as a
+reward for our verses, or to purchase a respite from further infliction
+of them, is best known to your worshipful selves.  Moreover, we, Time's
+errand-boys as aforesaid, feel it incumbent upon us, on the first day of
+every year, to present a sort of summary of our master's dealings with
+the world, throughout the whole of the preceding twelvemonth.  Now it
+has so chanced by a misfortune heretofore unheard of, that I, your
+present petitioner, have been altogether forgotten by the Muse.  Instead
+of being able (as I naturally expected) to measure my ideas into
+six-foot lilies, and tack a rhyme at each of their tails, I find myself,
+this blessed morning, the same simple proser that I was yesterday, and
+shall probably be to-morrow.  And to my further mortification, being a
+humble-minded little sinner, I feel no wise capable of talking to your
+worships with the customary wisdom of my brethren, and giving sage
+opinions as to what Time has done right, and what he has done wrong, and
+what of right or wrong he means to do hereafter.  Such being my unhappy
+predicament, it is with no small confusion of face, that I make bold to
+present myself at your doors.  Yet it were surely a pity that my
+non-appearance should defeat your bountiful designs for the replenishing of
+my pockets.  Wherefore I have bethought me, that it might not displease
+your worships to hear a few particulars about the person and habits of
+Father Time, with whom, as being one of his errand-boys, I have more
+acquaintance than most lads of my years.
+
+For a great many years past, there has been a woodcut on the cover of
+the "Farmer's Almanac," pretending to be a portrait of Father Time.  It
+represents that respectable personage as almost in a state of nudity,
+with a single lock of hair on his forehead, wings on his shoulders, and
+accoutred with a scythe and an hour-glass.  These two latter symbols
+appear to betoken that the old fellow works in haying time, by the hour.
+But, within my recollection, Time has never carried a scythe and an
+hour-glass, nor worn a pair of wings, nor shown himself in the half-naked
+condition that the almanac would make us believe.  Nowadays, he is
+the most fashionably dressed figure about town; and I take it to be his
+natural disposition, old as he is, to adopt every fashion of the day and
+of the hour.  Just at the present period, you may meet him in a furred
+surtout, with pantaloons strapped under his narrow-toed boots; on his
+head, instead of a single forelock, he wears a smart auburn wig, with
+bushy whiskers of the same hue, the whole surmounted by a German-lustre
+hat.  He has exchanged his hour-glass for a gold patent-lever watch,
+which he carries in his vest-pocket; and as for his scythe, he has
+either thrown it aside altogether, or converted its handle into a cane
+not much stouter than a riding-switch.  If you stare him full in the
+face, you will perhaps detect a few wrinkles; but, on a hasty glance,
+you might suppose him to be in the very heyday of life, as fresh as he
+was in the garden of Eden.  So much for the present aspect of Time; but
+I by no means insure that the description shall suit him a month hence,
+or even at this hour tomorrow.
+
+It is another very common mistake, to suppose that Time wanders among
+old ruins, and sits on mouldering walls and moss-grown stones,
+meditating about matters which everybody else has forgotten.  Some
+people, perhaps, would expect to find him at the burial-ground in Broad
+Street, poring over the half-illegible inscriptions on the tombs of the
+Higginsons, the Hathornes,--[Not "Hawthorne," as one of the present
+representatives of the family has seen fit to transmogrify a good old
+name.]--the Holyokes, the Brownes, the Olivers, the Pickmans, the
+Pickerings, and other worthies, with whom he kept company of old.  Some
+would look for him on the ridge of Gallows Hill, where, in one of his
+darkest moods, he and Cotton Mather hung the witches.  But they need not
+seek him there.  Time is invariably the first to forget his own deeds,
+his own history, and his own former associates.  His place is in the
+busiest bustle of the world.  If you would meet Time face to face, you
+have only to promenade in Essex Street, between the hours of twelve and
+one; and there, among beaux and belles, you will see old Father Time,
+apparently the gayest of the gay.  He walks arm in arm with the young
+men, talking about balls and theatres, and afternoon rides, and midnight
+merry-makings; he recommends such and such a fashionable tailor, and
+sneers at every garment of six months' antiquity; and, generally, before
+parting, he invites his friends to drink champagne,--a wine in which
+Time delights, on account of its rapid effervescence.  And Time treads
+lightly beside the fair girls, whispering to them (the old deceiver!)
+that they are the sweetest angels he ever was acquainted with.  He tells
+them that they have nothing to do but dance and sing, and twine roses in
+their hair, and gather a train of lovers, and that the world will always
+be like an illuminated ball-room.  And Time goes to the Commercial
+News-Room, and visits the insurance-offices, and stands at the corner of
+Essex and St. Peter's Streets, talking with the merchants.
+
+However, Time seldom has occasion to mention the gentleman's name, so
+that it is no great matter how he spells or pronounces it about the
+arrival of ships, the rise and fall of stocks, the price of cotton and
+breadstuffs, the prospects of the whaling-business, and the cod-fishery,
+and all other news of the day.  And the young gentlemen, and the pretty
+girls, and the merchants, and all others with whom he makes
+acquaintance, are apt to think that there is nobody like Time,
+and that Time is all in all.
+
+But Time is not near so good a fellow as they take him for.  He is
+continually on the watch for mischief, and often seizes a sly
+opportunity to lay his cane over the shoulders of some middle-aged
+gentleman; and lo and behold!  the poor man's back is bent, his hair
+turns gray, and his face looks like a shrivelled apple.  This is what is
+meant by being "time-stricken."  It is the worst feature in Time's
+character, that he always inflicts the greatest injuries on his oldest
+friends.  Yet, shamefully as he treats them, they evince no desire to
+cut his acquaintance, and can seldom bear to think of a final
+separation.
+
+Again, there is a very prevalent idea, that Time loves to sit by the
+fireside, telling stories of the Puritans, the witch persecutors, and
+the heroes of the old French war and the Revolution; and that he has no
+memory for anything more recent than the days of the first President
+Adams.  This is another great mistake.  Time is so eager to talk of
+novelties, that he never fails to give circulation to the most
+incredible rumors of the day, though at the hazard of being compelled to
+eat his own words to-morrow.  He shows numberless instances of this
+propensity while the national elections are in progress.  A month ago,
+his mouth was full of the wonderful Whig victories; and to do him
+justice, he really seems to have told the truth for once.  Whether the
+same story will hold good another year, we must leave Time himself to
+show.  He has a good deal to say, at the present juncture, concerning
+the revolutionary movements in Canada; he blusters a little about the
+northeastern boundary question; he expresses great impatience at the
+sluggishness of our commanders in the Florida war; he gets considerably
+excited whenever the subject of abolition is brought forward, and so
+much the more, as he appears hardly to have made up his mind on one side
+or the other.  Whenever this happens to be the case,--as it often
+does,--Time works himself into such a rage, that you would think he were
+going to tear the universe to pieces; but I never yet knew him to
+proceed, in good earnest, to such terrible extremities.  During the last
+six or seven months, he has been seized with intolerable sulkiness at
+the slightest mention of the currency; for nothing vexes Time so much as
+to be refused cash upon the nail.  The above are the chief topics of
+general interest which Time is just now in the habit of discussing.
+For his more private gossip, he has rumors of new matches, of old ones
+broken off, with now and then a whisper of good-natured scandal;
+sometimes, too, he condescends to criticise a sermon, or a lyceum
+lecture, or performance of the glee-club; and, to be brief, catch the
+volatile essence of present talk and transitory opinions, and you will
+have Time's gossip, word for word.  I may as well add, that he expresses
+great approbation of Mr. Russell's vocal abilities, and means to be
+present from beginning to end of his next concert.  It is not every
+singer that could keep Time with his voice and instrument, for a whole
+evening. Perhaps you will inquire, "What are Time's literary tastes?"
+And here again there is a general mistake.  It is conceived by many,
+that Time spends his leisure hours at the Athenaeum, turning over the
+musty leaves of those large worm-eaten folios, which nobody else has
+disturbed since the death of the venerable Dr. Oliver.  So far from this
+being the case, Time's profoundest studies are the new novels from
+Messrs. Ives and Jewett's Circulating Library.  He skims over the
+lighter articles in the periodicals of the day, glances at the
+newspapers, and then throws them aside forever, all except "The Salem
+Gazette," of which he preserves a file, for his amusement a century or
+two hence.
+
+We will now consider Time as a man of business.  In this capacity, our
+citizens are in the habit of complaining, not wholly without reason,
+that Time is sluggish and dull.  You may see him occasionally at the end
+of Derby Wharf, leaning against a post, or sitting on the breech of an
+iron cannon, staring listlessly at an unrigged East Indiaman.  Or, if
+you look through the windows of the Union Marine Insurance Office, you
+may get a glimpse of him there, nodding over a newspaper, among the old
+weather-beaten sea-captains who recollect when Time was quite a
+different sort of fellow.  If you enter any of the dry-goods stores
+along Essex Street, you will be likely to find him with his elbows on
+the counter, bargaining for a yard of tape or a paper of pins.  To catch
+him in his idlest mood, you must visit the office of some young lawyer.
+Still, however, Time does contrive to do a little business among us, and
+should not be denied the credit of it.  During the past season, he has
+worked pretty diligently upon the railroad, and promises to start the
+cars by the middle of next summer.  Then we may fly from Essex Street to
+State Street, and be back again before Time misses us.  In conjunction
+with our worthy mayor (with whose ancestor, the Lord Mayor of London,
+Time was well acquainted more than two hundred years ago) he has laid
+the corner-stone of a new city hall, the granite front of which is
+already an ornament to Court Street.  But besides these public affairs,
+Time busies himself a good deal in private.  Just at this season of the
+year, he is engaged in collecting bills, and may be seen at almost any
+hour peregrinating from street to street, and knocking at half the doors
+in town, with a great bundle of these infernal documents.  On such
+errands he appears in the likeness of an undersized, portly old
+gentleman, with gray hair, a bluff red face, and a loud tone of voice;
+and many people mistake him for the penny-post.
+
+Never does a marriage take place, but Time is present among the
+wedding-guests; for marriage is an affair in which Time takes more
+interest than in almost any other.  He generally gives away the bride,
+and leads the bridegroom by the hand to the threshold of the bridal
+chamber.  Although Time pretends to be very merry on these occasions,
+yet, if you watch him well, you may often detect a sigh.  Whenever a babe
+is born into this weary world, Time is in attendance, and receives the
+wailing infant in his arms.  And the poor babe shudders instinctively at
+his embrace, and sets up a feeble cry.
+
+Then again, from the birth-chamber, he must hurry to the bedside of some
+old acquaintance, whose business with Time is ended forever, though
+their accounts remain to be settled at a future day.  It is terrible,
+sometimes, to perceive the lingering reluctance, the shivering agony,
+with which the poor souls bid Time farewell, if they have gained no
+other friend to supply the gray deceiver's place.  How do they cling to
+Time, and steal another and yet another glance at his familiar aspect!
+But Time, the hard-hearted old fellow! goes through such scenes with
+infinite composure, and dismisses his best friends from memory the
+moment they are out of sight.  Others, who have not been too intimate
+with Time, as knowing him to be a dangerous character, and apt to ruin
+his associates,--these take leave of him with joy, and pass away with a
+look of triumph on their features.  They know, that, in spite of all his
+flattering promises, he could not make them happy, but that now they
+shall be so, long after Time is dead and buried.
+
+For Time is not immortal.  Time must die, and be buried in the deep
+grave of eternity.  And let him die.  From the hour when he passed forth
+through the gate of Eden, till this very moment, he has gone to and fro
+about the earth, staining his hands with blood, committing crimes
+innumerable, and bringing misery on himself and all mankind.  Sometimes
+he has been a pagan; sometimes a persecutor.  Sometimes he has spent
+centuries in darkness, where he could neither read nor write.  These
+were called the Dark Ages.  There has hardly been a single year, when he
+has not stirred up strife among the nations.  Sometimes, as in France
+less than fifty years ago, he has been seized with fits of frenzy, and
+murdered thousands of innocent people at noonday.  He pretends, indeed,
+that he has grown wiser and better now.  Trust him who will; for my
+part, I rejoice that Time shall not live forever.  He hath an appointed
+office to perform.  Let him do his task, and die.  Fresh and young as he
+would make himself appear, he is already hoary with age; and the very
+garments that he wears about the town were put on thousands of years
+ago, and have been patched and pieced to suit the present fashion.
+There is nothing new in him nor about him.  Were he to die while I am
+speaking, we could not pronounce it an untimely death.  Methinks, with
+his heavy heart and weary brain, Time should himself be glad to die.
+
+Meanwhile, gentle patrons, as Time has brought round another New Year,
+pray remember your poor petitioner.  For so small a lad, you will agree
+that I talk pretty passably well, and have fairly earned whatever spare
+specie Time has left in your pockets.  Be kind to me; and I have good
+hope that Time will be kind to you.  After all the hard things which I
+have said about him, he is really,--that is, if you take him for neither
+more nor less than he is worth, and use him as not abusing him,--Time is
+really a very tolerable old fellow, and may be endured for a little
+while that we are to keep him company.  Be generous, kind patrons, to
+Time's errand-boy.  So may he bring to the merchant his ship safe from
+the Indies; to the lawyer, a goodly number of new suits; to the doctor,
+a crowd of patients with the dyspepsia and fat purses; to the farmer, a
+golden crop and a ready market; to the mechanic, steady employment and
+good wages; to the idle gentleman, some honest business; to the rich,
+kind hearts and liberal hands; to the poor, warm firesides and food
+enough, patient spirits, and the hope of better days; to our country, a
+return of specie payments; and to you, sweet maid, the youth who stole
+into your dream last night!  And next New Year's Day (if I find nothing
+better to do in the mean while) may Time again bring to your doors your
+loving little friend,
+                       THE CARRIER.
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+End of Project Gutenberg's Time's Portraiture, by Nathaniel Hawthorne
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