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+Project Gutenberg's Eve's Diary, Complete, by Mark Twain (Samuel Clemens)
+
+This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
+almost no restrictions whatsoever.  You may copy it, give it away or
+re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
+with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org
+
+
+Title: Eve's Diary, Complete
+
+Author: Mark Twain (Samuel Clemens)
+
+Release Date: June 14, 2004 [EBook #8525]
+Last Updated: February 23, 2018
+
+Language: English
+
+Character set encoding: UTF-8
+
+*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK EVE'S DIARY, COMPLETE ***
+
+
+
+
+Produced by David Widger and Cindy Rosenthal
+
+
+
+
+
+EVE'S DIARY
+
+
+By Mark Twain
+
+
+Illustrated by Lester Ralph
+
+
+
+
+Translated from the Original
+
+
+
+SATURDAY.--I am almost a whole day old, now.  I arrived yesterday.
+That is as it seems to me.  And it must be so, for if there was a
+day-before-yesterday I was not there when it happened, or I should
+remember it.  It could be, of course, that it did happen, and that I
+was not noticing. Very well; I will be very watchful now, and if any
+day-before-yesterdays happen I will make a note of it. It will be best
+to start right and not let the record get confused, for some instinct
+tells me that these details are going to be important to the historian
+some day.  For I feel like an experiment, I feel exactly like an
+experiment; it would be impossible for a person to feel more like an
+experiment than I do, and so I am coming to feel convinced that that
+is what I AM--an experiment; just an experiment, and nothing more.
+
+Then if I am an experiment, am I the whole of it?  No, I think not; I
+think the rest of it is part of it.  I am the main part of it, but I
+think the rest of it has its share in the matter.  Is my position
+assured, or do I have to watch it and take care of it? The latter,
+perhaps.  Some instinct tells me that eternal vigilance is the price
+of supremacy.  [That is a good phrase, I think, for one so young.]
+
+Everything looks better today than it did yesterday.  In the rush of
+finishing up yesterday, the mountains were left in a ragged condition,
+and some of the plains were so cluttered with rubbish and remnants that
+the aspects were quite distressing.  Noble and beautiful works of art
+should not be subjected to haste; and this majestic new world is indeed
+a most noble and beautiful work.  And certainly marvelously near to
+being perfect, notwithstanding the shortness of the time. There are too
+many stars in some places and not enough in others, but that can be
+remedied presently, no doubt.  The moon got loose last night, and slid
+down and fell out of the scheme--a very great loss; it breaks my heart
+to think of it.  There isn't another thing among the ornaments and
+decorations that is comparable to it for beauty and finish.  It should
+have been fastened better. If we can only get it back again--
+
+But of course there is no telling where it went to.  And besides,
+whoever gets it will hide it; I know it because I would do it myself.
+I believe I can be honest in all other matters, but I already begin to
+realize that the core and center of my nature is love of the beautiful,
+a passion for the beautiful, and that it would not be safe to trust me
+with a moon that belonged to another person and that person didn't know
+I had it.  I could give up a moon that I found in the daytime, because I
+should be afraid some one was looking; but if I found it in the dark, I
+am sure I should find some kind of an excuse for not saying anything
+about it.  For I do love moons, they are so pretty and so romantic.  I
+wish we had five or six; I would never go to bed; I should never get
+tired lying on the moss-bank and looking up at them.
+
+Stars are good, too.  I wish I could get some to put in my hair. But I
+suppose I never can.  You would be surprised to find how far off they
+are, for they do not look it.  When they first showed, last night, I
+tried to knock some down with a pole, but it didn't reach, which
+astonished me; then I tried clods till I was all tired out, but I never
+got one.  It was because I am left-handed and cannot throw good.  Even
+when I aimed at the one I wasn't after I couldn't hit the other one,
+though I did make some close shots, for I saw the black blot of the clod
+sail right into the midst of the golden clusters forty or fifty times,
+just barely missing them, and if I could have held out a little longer
+maybe I could have got one.
+
+So I cried a little, which was natural, I suppose, for one of my age,
+and after I was rested I got a basket and started for a place on the
+extreme rim of the circle, where the stars were close to the ground and
+I could get them with my hands, which would be better, anyway, because I
+could gather them tenderly then, and not break them. But it was farther
+than I thought, and at last I had to give it up; I was so tired I
+couldn't drag my feet another step; and besides, they were sore and hurt
+me very much.
+
+I couldn't get back home; it was too far and turning cold; but I found
+some tigers and nestled in among them and was most adorably comfortable,
+and their breath was sweet and pleasant, because they live on
+strawberries.  I had never seen a tiger before, but I knew them in a
+minute by the stripes.  If I could have one of those skins, it would
+make a lovely gown.
+
+Today I am getting better ideas about distances.  I was so eager to get
+hold of every pretty thing that I giddily grabbed for it, sometimes when
+it was too far off, and sometimes when it was but six inches away but
+seemed a foot--alas, with thorns between! I learned a lesson; also I
+made an axiom, all out of my own head--my very first one; THE SCRATCHED
+EXPERIMENT SHUNS THE THORN. I think it is a very good one for one so
+young.
+
+I followed the other Experiment around, yesterday afternoon, at a
+distance, to see what it might be for, if I could.  But I was not able
+to make [it] out.  I think it is a man.  I had never seen a man, but it
+looked like one, and I feel sure that that is what it is. I realize that
+I feel more curiosity about it than about any of the other reptiles.  If
+it is a reptile, and I suppose it is; for it has frowzy hair and blue
+eyes, and looks like a reptile. It has no hips; it tapers like a carrot;
+when it stands, it spreads itself apart like a derrick; so I think it is
+a reptile, though it may be architecture.
+
+I was afraid of it at first, and started to run every time it turned
+around, for I thought it was going to chase me; but by and by I found it
+was only trying to get away, so after that I was not timid any more, but
+tracked it along, several hours, about twenty yards behind, which made
+it nervous and unhappy. At last it was a good deal worried, and climbed
+a tree.  I waited a good while, then gave it up and went home.
+
+Today the same thing over.  I've got it up the tree again.
+
+
+
+SUNDAY.--It is up there yet.  Resting, apparently.  But that is a
+subterfuge:  Sunday isn't the day of rest; Saturday is appointed for
+that.  It looks to me like a creature that is more interested in resting
+than in anything else.  It would tire me to rest so much. It tires me
+just to sit around and watch the tree.  I do wonder what it is for; I
+never see it do anything.
+
+They returned the moon last night, and I was SO happy!  I think it is
+very honest of them.  It slid down and fell off again, but I was not
+distressed; there is no need to worry when one has that kind of
+neighbors; they will fetch it back.  I wish I could do something to show
+my appreciation.  I would like to send them some stars, for we have more
+than we can use.  I mean I, not we, for I can see that the reptile cares
+nothing for such things.
+
+It has low tastes, and is not kind.  When I went there yesterday evening
+in the gloaming it had crept down and was trying to catch the little
+speckled fishes that play in the pool, and I had to clod it to make it
+go up the tree again and let them alone. I wonder if THAT is what it is
+for?  Hasn't it any heart? Hasn't it any compassion for those little
+creature?  Can it be that it was designed and manufactured for such
+ungentle work? It has the look of it.  One of the clods took it back of
+the ear, and it used language.  It gave me a thrill, for it was the
+first time I had ever heard speech, except my own.  I did not understand
+the words, but they seemed expressive.
+
+When I found it could talk I felt a new interest in it, for I love to
+talk; I talk, all day, and in my sleep, too, and I am very interesting,
+but if I had another to talk to I could be twice as interesting, and
+would never stop, if desired.
+
+If this reptile is a man, it isn't an IT, is it?  That wouldn't be
+grammatical, would it?  I think it would be HE.  I think so. In that
+case one would parse it thus:  nominative, HE; dative, HIM; possessive,
+HIS'N. Well, I will consider it a man and call it he until it turns out
+to be something else.  This will be handier than having so many
+uncertainties.
+
+
+
+NEXT WEEK SUNDAY.--All the week I tagged around after him and tried to
+get acquainted.  I had to do the talking, because he was shy, but I
+didn't mind it.  He seemed pleased to have me around, and I used the
+sociable “we” a good deal, because it seemed to flatter him to be
+included.
+
+
+
+WEDNESDAY.--We are getting along very well indeed, now, and getting
+better and better acquainted.  He does not try to avoid me any more,
+which is a good sign, and shows that he likes to have me with him. That
+pleases me, and I study to be useful to him in every way I can, so as to
+increase his regard.
+
+During the last day or two I have taken all the work of naming things
+off his hands, and this has been a great relief to him, for he has no
+gift in that line, and is evidently very grateful.  He can't think of a
+rational name to save him, but I do not let him see that I am aware of
+his defect. Whenever a new creature comes along I name it before he has
+time to expose himself by an awkward silence.  In this way I have saved
+him many embarrassments.  I have no defect like this. The minute I set
+eyes on an animal I know what it is.  I don't have to reflect a moment;
+the right name comes out instantly, just as if it were an inspiration,
+as no doubt it is, for I am sure it wasn't in me half a minute before.
+I seem to know just by the shape of the creature and the way it acts
+what animal it is.
+
+When the dodo came along he thought it was a wildcat--I saw it in his
+eye.  But I saved him.  And I was careful not to do it in a way that
+could hurt his pride.  I just spoke up in a quite natural way of
+pleasing surprise, and not as if I was dreaming of conveying
+information, and said, “Well, I do declare, if there isn't the dodo!”  I
+explained--without seeming to be explaining--how I know it for a dodo,
+and although I thought maybe he was a little piqued that I knew the
+creature when he didn't, it was quite evident that he admired me.  That
+was very agreeable, and I thought of it more than once with
+gratification before I slept. How little a thing can make us happy when
+we feel that we have earned it!
+
+
+
+THURSDAY.--my first sorrow.  Yesterday he avoided me and seemed to wish
+I would not talk to him.  I could not believe it, and thought there was
+some mistake, for I loved to be with him, and loved to hear him talk,
+and so how could it be that he could feel unkind toward me when I had
+not done anything?  But at last it seemed true, so I went away and sat
+lonely in the place where I first saw him the morning that we were made
+and I did not know what he was and was indifferent about him; but now it
+was a mournful place, and every little thing spoke of him, and my heart
+was very sore. I did not know why very clearly, for it was a new
+feeling; I had not experienced it before, and it was all a mystery, and
+I could not make it out.
+
+But when night came I could not bear the lonesomeness, and went to the
+new shelter which he has built, to ask him what I had done that was
+wrong and how I could mend it and get back his kindness again; but he
+put me out in the rain, and it was my first sorrow.
+
+
+
+SUNDAY.--It is pleasant again, now, and I am happy; but those were heavy
+days; I do not think of them when I can help it.
+
+I tried to get him some of those apples, but I cannot learn to throw
+straight.  I failed, but I think the good intention pleased him. They
+are forbidden, and he says I shall come to harm; but so I come to harm
+through pleasing him, why shall I care for that harm?
+
+
+
+MONDAY.--This morning I told him my name, hoping it would interest him.
+But he did not care for it.  It is strange.  If he should tell me his
+name, I would care.  I think it would be pleasanter in my ears than any
+other sound.
+
+He talks very little.  Perhaps it is because he is not bright, and is
+sensitive about it and wishes to conceal it.  It is such a pity that he
+should feel so, for brightness is nothing; it is in the heart that the
+values lie.  I wish I could make him understand that a loving good heart
+is riches, and riches enough, and that without it intellect is poverty.
+
+Although he talks so little, he has quite a considerable vocabulary.
+This morning he used a surprisingly good word. He evidently recognized,
+himself, that it was a good one, for he worked it in twice afterward,
+casually.  It was good casual art, still it showed that he possesses a
+certain quality of perception. Without a doubt that seed can be made to
+grow, if cultivated.
+
+Where did he get that word?  I do not think I have ever used it.
+
+No, he took no interest in my name.  I tried to hide my disappointment,
+but I suppose I did not succeed.  I went away and sat on the moss-bank
+with my feet in the water.  It is where I go when I hunger for
+companionship, some one to look at, some one to talk to. It is not
+enough--that lovely white body painted there in the pool--but it is
+something, and something is better than utter loneliness. It talks when
+I talk; it is sad when I am sad; it comforts me with its sympathy; it
+says, “Do not be downhearted, you poor friendless girl; I will be your
+friend.”  It IS a good friend to me, and my only one; it is my sister.
+
+That first time that she forsook me! ah, I shall never forget that
+--never, never.  My heart was lead in my body!  I said, “She was all I
+had, and now she is gone!”  In my despair I said, “Break, my heart; I
+cannot bear my life any more!” and hid my face in my hands, and there
+was no solace for me.  And when I took them away, after a little, there
+she was again, white and shining and beautiful, and I sprang into her
+arms!
+
+That was perfect happiness; I had known happiness before, but it was not
+like this, which was ecstasy.  I never doubted her afterward. Sometimes
+she stayed away--maybe an hour, maybe almost the whole day, but I waited
+and did not doubt; I said, “She is busy, or she is gone on a journey,
+but she will come.”  And it was so: she always did.  At night she would
+not come if it was dark, for she was a timid little thing; but if there
+was a moon she would come. I am not afraid of the dark, but she is
+younger than I am; she was born after I was.  Many and many are the
+visits I have paid her; she is my comfort and my refuge when my life is
+hard--and it is mainly that.
+
+
+
+TUESDAY.--All the morning I was at work improving the estate; and I
+purposely kept away from him in the hope that he would get lonely and
+come.  But he did not.
+
+At noon I stopped for the day and took my recreation by flitting all
+about with the bees and the butterflies and reveling in the flowers,
+those beautiful creatures that catch the smile of God out of the sky and
+preserve it!  I gathered them, and made them into wreaths and garlands
+and clothed myself in them while I ate my luncheon--apples, of course;
+then I sat in the shade and wished and waited. But he did not come.
+
+But no matter.  Nothing would have come of it, for he does not care for
+flowers.  He called them rubbish, and cannot tell one from another, and
+thinks it is superior to feel like that.  He does not care for me, he
+does not care for flowers, he does not care for the painted sky at
+eventide--is there anything he does care for, except building shacks to
+coop himself up in from the good clean rain, and thumping the melons,
+and sampling the grapes, and fingering the fruit on the trees, to see
+how those properties are coming along?
+
+I laid a dry stick on the ground and tried to bore a hole in it with
+another one, in order to carry out a scheme that I had, and soon I got
+an awful fright.  A thin, transparent bluish film rose out of the hole,
+and I dropped everything and ran!  I thought it was a spirit, and I WAS
+so frightened!  But I looked back, and it was not coming; so I leaned
+against a rock and rested and panted, and let my limbs go on trembling
+until they got steady again; then I crept warily back, alert, watching,
+and ready to fly if there was occasion; and when I was come near, I
+parted the branches of a rose-bush and peeped through--wishing the man
+was about, I was looking so cunning and pretty--but the sprite was gone.
+I went there, and there was a pinch of delicate pink dust in the hole. I
+put my finger in, to feel it, and said OUCH! and took it out again.  It
+was a cruel pain.  I put my finger in my mouth; and by standing first on
+one foot and then the other, and grunting, I presently eased my misery;
+then I was full of interest, and began to examine.
+
+I was curious to know what the pink dust was.  Suddenly the name of it
+occurred to me, though I had never heard of it before.  It was FIRE! I
+was as certain of it as a person could be of anything in the world. So
+without hesitation I named it that--fire.
+
+I had created something that didn't exist before; I had added a new
+thing to the world's uncountable properties; I realized this, and was
+proud of my achievement, and was going to run and find him and tell him
+about it, thinking to raise myself in his esteem--but I reflected, and
+did not do it.  No--he would not care for it. He would ask what it was
+good for, and what could I answer? for if it was not GOOD for something,
+but only beautiful, merely beautiful--
+
+So I sighed, and did not go.  For it wasn't good for anything; it could
+not build a shack, it could not improve melons, it could not hurry a
+fruit crop; it was useless, it was a foolishness and a vanity; he would
+despise it and say cutting words. But to me it was not despicable; I
+said, “Oh, you fire, I love you, you dainty pink creature, for you are
+BEAUTIFUL--and that is enough!” and was going to gather it to my breast.
+But refrained. Then I made another maxim out of my head, though it was
+so nearly like the first one that I was afraid it was only a plagiarism:
+“THE BURNT EXPERIMENT SHUNS THE FIRE.”
+
+I wrought again; and when I had made a good deal of fire-dust I emptied
+it into a handful of dry brown grass, intending to carry it home and
+keep it always and play with it; but the wind struck it and it sprayed
+up and spat out at me fiercely, and I dropped it and ran. When I looked
+back the blue spirit was towering up and stretching and rolling away
+like a cloud, and instantly I thought of the name of it--SMOKE!--though,
+upon my word, I had never heard of smoke before.
+
+Soon brilliant yellow and red flares shot up through the smoke, and I
+named them in an instant--FLAMES--and I was right, too, though these
+were the very first flames that had ever been in the world.  They
+climbed the trees, then flashed splendidly in and out of the vast and
+increasing volume of tumbling smoke, and I had to clap my hands and
+laugh and dance in my rapture, it was so new and strange and so
+wonderful and so beautiful!
+
+He came running, and stopped and gazed, and said not a word for many
+minutes.  Then he asked what it was.  Ah, it was too bad that he should
+ask such a direct question.  I had to answer it, of course, and I did.
+I said it was fire.  If it annoyed him that I should know and he must
+ask; that was not my fault; I had no desire to annoy him. After a pause
+he asked:
+
+“How did it come?”
+
+Another direct question, and it also had to have a direct answer.
+
+“I made it.”
+
+The fire was traveling farther and farther off.  He went to the edge of
+the burned place and stood looking down, and said:
+
+“What are these?”
+
+“Fire-coals.”
+
+He picked up one to examine it, but changed his mind and put it down
+again.  Then he went away.  NOTHING interests him.
+
+But I was interested.  There were ashes, gray and soft and delicate and
+pretty--I knew what they were at once.  And the embers; I knew the
+embers, too.  I found my apples, and raked them out, and was glad; for I
+am very young and my appetite is active. But I was disappointed; they
+were all burst open and spoiled. Spoiled apparently; but it was not so;
+they were better than raw ones. Fire is beautiful; some day it will be
+useful, I think.
+
+
+
+FRIDAY.--I saw him again, for a moment, last Monday at nightfall, but
+only for a moment.  I was hoping he would praise me for trying to
+improve the estate, for I had meant well and had worked hard. But he was
+not pleased, and turned away and left me.  He was also displeased on
+another account:  I tried once more to persuade him to stop going over
+the Falls.  That was because the fire had revealed to me a new passion
+--quite new, and distinctly different from love, grief, and those others
+which I had already discovered--FEAR.  And it is horrible!--I wish I had
+never discovered it; it gives me dark moments, it spoils my happiness,
+it makes me shiver and tremble and shudder. But I could not persuade
+him, for he has not discovered fear yet, and so he could not understand
+me.
+
+
+
+
+
+
+                 EXTRACT FROM ADAM'S DIARY
+
+
+Perhaps I ought to remember that she is very young, a mere girl and make
+allowances.  She is all interest, eagerness, vivacity, the world is to
+her a charm, a wonder, a mystery, a joy; she can't speak for delight
+when she finds a new flower, she must pet it and caress it and smell it
+and talk to it, and pour out endearing names upon it. And she is
+color-mad: brown rocks, yellow sand, gray moss, green foliage, blue sky;
+the pearl of the dawn, the purple shadows on the mountains, the golden
+islands floating in crimson seas at sunset, the pallid moon sailing
+through the shredded cloud-rack, the star-jewels glittering in the
+wastes of space--none of them is of any practical value, so far as I can
+see, but because they have color and majesty, that is enough for her,
+and she loses her mind over them. If she could quiet down and keep still
+a couple minutes at a time, it would be a reposeful spectacle.  In that
+case I think I could enjoy looking at her; indeed I am sure I could, for
+I am coming to realize that she is a quite remarkably comely creature
+--lithe, slender, trim, rounded, shapely, nimble, graceful; and once
+when she was standing marble-white and sun-drenched on a boulder, with
+her young head tilted back and her hand shading her eyes, watching the
+flight of a bird in the sky, I recognized that she was beautiful.
+
+
+
+MONDAY NOON.--If there is anything on the planet that she is not
+interested in it is not in my list.  There are animals that I am
+indifferent to, but it is not so with her.  She has no discrimination,
+she takes to all of them, she thinks they are all treasures, every new
+one is welcome.
+
+When the mighty brontosaurus came striding into camp, she regarded it as
+an acquisition, I considered it a calamity; that is a good sample of the
+lack of harmony that prevails in our views of things. She wanted to
+domesticate it, I wanted to make it a present of the homestead and move
+out.  She believed it could be tamed by kind treatment and would be a
+good pet; I said a pet twenty-one feet high and eighty-four feet long
+would be no proper thing to have about the place, because, even with the
+best intentions and without meaning any harm, it could sit down on the
+house and mash it, for any one could see by the look of its eye that it
+was absent-minded.
+
+Still, her heart was set upon having that monster, and she couldn't give
+it up.  She thought we could start a dairy with it, and wanted me to
+help milk it; but I wouldn't; it was too risky. The sex wasn't right,
+and we hadn't any ladder anyway.  Then she wanted to ride it, and look
+at the scenery.  Thirty or forty feet of its tail was lying on the
+ground, like a fallen tree, and she thought she could climb it, but she
+was mistaken; when she got to the steep place it was too slick and down
+she came, and would have hurt herself but for me.
+
+Was she satisfied now?  No. Nothing ever satisfies her but
+demonstration; untested theories are not in her line, and she won't have
+them. It is the right spirit, I concede it; it attracts me; I feel the
+influence of it; if I were with her more I think I should take it up
+myself.  Well, she had one theory remaining about this colossus: she
+thought that if we could tame it and make him friendly we could stand in
+the river and use him for a bridge.  It turned out that he was already
+plenty tame enough--at least as far as she was concerned--so she tried
+her theory, but it failed:  every time she got him properly placed in
+the river and went ashore to cross over him, he came out and followed
+her around like a pet mountain.  Like the other animals.  They all do
+that.
+
+
+
+Tuesday--Wednesday--Thursday--and today:  all without seeing him.  It is
+a long time to be alone; still, it is better to be alone than unwelcome.
+
+
+
+FRIDAY--I HAD to have company--I was made for it, I think--so I made
+friends with the animals.  They are just charming, and they have the
+kindest disposition and the politest ways; they never look sour, they
+never let you feel that you are intruding, they smile at you and wag
+their tail, if they've got one, and they are always ready for a romp or
+an excursion or anything you want to propose. I think they are perfect
+gentlemen.  All these days we have had such good times, and it hasn't
+been lonesome for me, ever.
+
+Lonesome!  No, I should say not.  Why, there's always a swarm of them
+around--sometimes as much as four or five acres--you can't count them;
+and when you stand on a rock in the midst and look out over the furry
+expanse it is so mottled and splashed and gay with color and frisking
+sheen and sun-flash, and so rippled with stripes, that you might think
+it was a lake, only you know it isn't; and there's storms of sociable
+birds, and hurricanes of whirring wings; and when the sun strikes all
+that feathery commotion, you have a blazing up of all the colors you can
+think of, enough to put your eyes out.
+
+We have made long excursions, and I have seen a great deal of the world;
+almost all of it, I think; and so I am the first traveler, and the only
+one.  When we are on the march, it is an imposing sight--there's nothing
+like it anywhere.  For comfort I ride a tiger or a leopard, because it
+is soft and has a round back that fits me, and because they are such
+pretty animals; but for long distance or for scenery I ride the
+elephant.  He hoists me up with his trunk, but I can get off myself;
+when we are ready to camp, he sits and I slide down the back way.
+
+The birds and animals are all friendly to each other, and there are no
+disputes about anything.  They all talk, and they all talk to me, but it
+must be a foreign language, for I cannot make out a word they say; yet
+they often understand me when I talk back, particularly the dog and the
+elephant.  It makes me ashamed. It shows that they are brighter than I
+am, for I want to be the principal Experiment myself--and I intend to
+be, too.
+
+I have learned a number of things, and am educated, now, but I wasn't at
+first.  I was ignorant at first.  At first it used to vex me because,
+with all my watching, I was never smart enough to be around when the
+water was running uphill; but now I do not mind it. I have experimented
+and experimented until now I know it never does run uphill, except in
+the dark.  I know it does in the dark, because the pool never goes dry,
+which it would, of course, if the water didn't come back in the night.
+It is best to prove things by actual experiment; then you KNOW; whereas
+if you depend on guessing and supposing and conjecturing, you never get
+educated.
+
+Some things you CAN'T find out; but you will never know you can't by
+guessing and supposing:  no, you have to be patient and go on
+experimenting until you find out that you can't find out.  And it is
+delightful to have it that way, it makes the world so interesting. If
+there wasn't anything to find out, it would be dull.  Even trying to
+find out and not finding out is just as interesting as trying to find
+out and finding out, and I don't know but more so. The secret of the
+water was a treasure until I GOT it; then the excitement all went away,
+and I recognized a sense of loss.
+
+By experiment I know that wood swims, and dry leaves, and feathers, and
+plenty of other things; therefore by all that cumulative evidence you
+know that a rock will swim; but you have to put up with simply knowing
+it, for there isn't any way to prove it--up to now. But I shall find a
+way--then THAT excitement will go.  Such things make me sad; because by
+and by when I have found out everything there won't be any more
+excitements, and I do love excitements so! The other night I couldn't
+sleep for thinking about it.
+
+At first I couldn't make out what I was made for, but now I think it was
+to search out the secrets of this wonderful world and be happy and thank
+the Giver of it all for devising it.  I think there are many things to
+learn yet--I hope so; and by economizing and not hurrying too fast I
+think they will last weeks and weeks.  I hope so.  When you cast up a
+feather it sails away on the air and goes out of sight; then you throw
+up a clod and it doesn't. It comes down, every time. I have tried it and
+tried it, and it is always so.  I wonder why it is?  Of course it
+DOESN'T come down, but why should it SEEM to? I suppose it is an optical
+illusion.  I mean, one of them is. I don't know which one.  It may be
+the feather, it may be the clod; I can't prove which it is, I can only
+demonstrate that one or the other is a fake, and let a person take his
+choice.
+
+By watching, I know that the stars are not going to last. I have seen
+some of the best ones melt and run down the sky. Since one can melt,
+they can all melt; since they can all melt, they can all melt the same
+night.  That sorrow will come--I know it. I mean to sit up every night
+and look at them as long as I can keep awake; and I will impress those
+sparkling fields on my memory, so that by and by when they are taken
+away I can by my fancy restore those lovely myriads to the black sky and
+make them sparkle again, and double them by the blur of my tears.
+
+
+
+After the Fall
+
+When I look back, the Garden is a dream to me.  It was beautiful,
+surpassingly beautiful, enchantingly beautiful; and now it is lost, and
+I shall not see it any more.
+
+The Garden is lost, but I have found HIM, and am content. He loves me as
+well as he can; I love him with all the strength of my passionate
+nature, and this, I think, is proper to my youth and sex.  If I ask
+myself why I love him, I find I do not know, and do not really much care
+to know; so I suppose that this kind of love is not a product of
+reasoning and statistics, like one's love for other reptiles and
+animals.  I think that this must be so. I love certain birds because of
+their song; but I do not love Adam on account of his singing--no, it is
+not that; the more he sings the more I do not get reconciled to it.  Yet
+I ask him to sing, because I wish to learn to like everything he is
+interested in. I am sure I can learn, because at first I could not stand
+it, but now I can.  It sours the milk, but it doesn't matter; I can get
+used to that kind of milk.
+
+It is not on account of his brightness that I love him--no, it is not
+that.  He is not to blame for his brightness, such as it is, for he did
+not make it himself; he is as God make him, and that is sufficient.
+There was a wise purpose in it, THAT I know. In time it will develop,
+though I think it will not be sudden; and besides, there is no hurry; he
+is well enough just as he is.
+
+It is not on account of his gracious and considerate ways and his
+delicacy that I love him.  No, he has lacks in this regard, but he is
+well enough just so, and is improving.
+
+It is not on account of his industry that I love him--no, it is not
+that.  I think he has it in him, and I do not know why he conceals it
+from me.  It is my only pain.  Otherwise he is frank and open with me,
+now.  I am sure he keeps nothing from me but this. It grieves me that he
+should have a secret from me, and sometimes it spoils my sleep, thinking
+of it, but I will put it out of my mind; it shall not trouble my
+happiness, which is otherwise full to overflowing.
+
+It is not on account of his education that I love him--no, it is not
+that.  He is self-educated, and does really know a multitude of things,
+but they are not so.
+
+It is not on account of his chivalry that I love him--no, it is not
+that. He told on me, but I do not blame him; it is a peculiarity of sex,
+I think, and he did not make his sex.  Of course I would not have told
+on him, I would have perished first; but that is a peculiarity of sex,
+too, and I do not take credit for it, for I did not make my sex.
+
+Then why is it that I love him?  MERELY BECAUSE HE IS MASCULINE, I
+think.
+
+At bottom he is good, and I love him for that, but I could love him
+without it.  If he should beat me and abuse me, I should go on loving
+him.  I know it.  It is a matter of sex, I think.
+
+He is strong and handsome, and I love him for that, and I admire him and
+am proud of him, but I could love him without those qualities. If he
+were plain, I should love him; if he were a wreck, I should love him;
+and I would work for him, and slave over him, and pray for him, and
+watch by his bedside until I died.
+
+Yes, I think I love him merely because he is MINE and is MASCULINE.
+There is no other reason, I suppose.  And so I think it is as I first
+said:  that this kind of love is not a product of reasonings and
+statistics.  It just COMES--none knows whence--and cannot explain
+itself.  And doesn't need to.
+
+It is what I think.  But I am only a girl, the first that has examined
+this matter, and it may turn out that in my ignorance and inexperience I
+have not got it right.
+
+
+
+Forty Years Later
+
+It is my prayer, it is my longing, that we may pass from this life
+together--a longing which shall never perish from the earth, but shall
+have place in the heart of every wife that loves, until the end of time;
+and it shall be called by my name.
+
+But if one of us must go first, it is my prayer that it shall be I; for
+he is strong, I am weak, I am not so necessary to him as he is to me
+--life without him would not be life; how could I endure it? This prayer
+is also immortal, and will not cease from being offered up while my race
+continues.  I am the first wife; and in the last wife I shall be
+repeated.
+
+
+
+At Eve's Grave
+
+ADAM:  Wheresoever she was, THERE was Eden.
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Eve's Diary, Complete
+by Mark Twain (Samuel Clemens)
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