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diff --git a/.gitattributes b/.gitattributes new file mode 100644 index 0000000..6833f05 --- /dev/null +++ b/.gitattributes @@ -0,0 +1,3 @@ +* text=auto +*.txt text +*.md text diff --git a/7986-0.txt b/7986-0.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..9c3c8ca --- /dev/null +++ b/7986-0.txt @@ -0,0 +1,9733 @@ +Project Gutenberg’s Plays by Chekhov, Second Series, by Anton Chekhov + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: Plays by Chekhov, Second Series + On the High Road, The Proposal, The Wedding, The Bear, A + Tragedian In Spite of Himself, The Anniversary, The Three + Sisters, The Cherry Orchard + +Author: Anton Chekhov + +Release Date: April, 2005 [EBook #7986] +Posting Date: August 8, 2009 +Last Updated: September 10, 2016 + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: UTF-8 + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK PLAYS BY CHEKHOV, SECOND SERIES *** + + + + +Produced by James Rusk and Nicole Apostola + + + + + +PLAYS BY ANTON CHEKHOV, SECOND SERIES + +By Anton Chekhov + +Translated, with an Introduction, by Julius West + +[The First Series Plays have been previously published +by Project Gutenberg in etext numbers: 1753 through 1756] + + +CONTENTS + + INTRODUCTION + ON THE HIGH ROAD + THE PROPOSAL + THE WEDDING + THE BEAR + A TRAGEDIAN IN SPITE OF HIMSELF + THE ANNIVERSARY + THE THREE SISTERS + THE CHERRY ORCHARD + + + + +INTRODUCTION + +The last few years have seen a large and generally unsystematic mass of +translations from the Russian flung at the heads and hearts of English +readers. The ready acceptance of Chekhov has been one of the few +successful features of this irresponsible output. He has been welcomed +by British critics with something like affection. Bernard Shaw has +several times remarked: “Every time I see a play by Chekhov, I want to +chuck all my own stuff into the fire.” Others, having no such valuable +property to sacrifice on the altar of Chekhov, have not hesitated +to place him side by side with Ibsen, and the other established +institutions of the new theatre. For these reasons it is pleasant to +be able to chronicle the fact that, by way of contrast with the casual +treatment normally handed out to Russian authors, the publishers are +issuing the complete dramatic works of this author. In 1912 they brought +out a volume containing four Chekhov plays, translated by Marian Fell. +All the dramatic works not included in her volume are to be found in the +present one. With the exception of Chekhov’s masterpiece, “The Cherry +Orchard” (translated by the late Mr. George Calderon in 1912), none of +these plays have been previously published in book form in England or +America. + +It is not the business of a translator to attempt to outdo all others in +singing the praises of his raw material. This is a dangerous process and +may well lead, as it led Mr. Calderon, to drawing the reader’s +attention to points of beauty not to be found in the original. A few +bibliographical details are equally necessary, and permissible, and the +elementary principles of Chekhov criticism will also be found useful. + +The very existence of “The High Road” (1884); probably the earliest +of its author’s plays, will be unsuspected by English readers. During +Chekhov’s lifetime it a sort of family legend, after his death it became +a family mystery. A copy was finally discovered only last year in the +Censor’s office, yielded up, and published. It had been sent in 1885 +under the nom-de-plume “A. Chekhonte,” and it had failed to pass. The +Censor, of the time being had scrawled his opinion on the manuscript, +“a depressing and dirty piece,--cannot be licensed.” The name of the +gentleman who held this view--Kaiser von Kugelgen--gives another reason +for the educated Russian’s low opinion of German-sounding institutions. +Baron von Tuzenbach, the satisfactory person in “The Three Sisters,” + it will be noted, finds it as well, while he is trying to secure the +favours of Irina, to declare that his German ancestry is fairly remote. +This is by way of parenthesis. “The High Road,” found after thirty +years, is a most interesting document to the lover of Chekhov. Every +play he wrote in later years was either a one-act farce or a four-act +drama. [Note: “The Swan Song” may occur as an exception. This, however, +is more of a Shakespeare recitation than anything else, and so neither +here nor there.] + +In “The High Road” we see, in an embryonic form, the whole later method +of the plays--the deliberate contrast between two strong characters +(Bortsov and Merik in this case), the careful individualization of each +person in a fairly large group by way of an introduction to the main +theme, the concealment of the catastrophe, germ-wise, in the actual +character of the characters, and the of a distinctive group-atmosphere. +It need scarcely be stated that “The High Road” is not a “dirty” piece +according to Russian or to German standards; Chekhov was incapable of +writing a dirty play or story. For the rest, this piece differs from the +others in its presentation, not of Chekhov’s favourite middle-classes, +but of the moujik, nourishing, in a particularly stuffy atmosphere, an +intense mysticism and an equally intense thirst for vodka. + +“The Proposal” (1889) and “The Bear” (1890) may be taken as good +examples of the sort of humour admired by the average Russian. The +latter play, in another translation, was put on as a curtain-raiser to a +cinematograph entertainment at a London theatre in 1914; and had quite a +pleasant reception from a thoroughly Philistine audience. The humour is +very nearly of the variety most popular over here, the psychology is a +shade subtler. The Russian novelist or dramatist takes to psychology as +some of his fellow-countrymen take to drink; in doing this he achieves +fame by showing us what we already know, and at the same time he kills +his own creative power. Chekhov just escaped the tragedy of suicide by +introspection, and was only enabled to do this by the possession of +a sense of humour. That is why we should not regard “The Bear,” “The +Wedding,” or “The Anniversary” as the work of a merely humorous young +man, but as the saving graces which made perfect “The Cherry Orchard.” + +“The Three Sisters” (1901) is said to act better than any other of +Chekhov’s plays, and should surprise an English audience exceedingly. It +and “The Cherry Orchard” are the tragedies of doing nothing. The three +sisters have only one desire in the world, to go to Moscow and live +there. There is no reason on earth, economic, sentimental, or other, why +they should not pack their bags and take the next train to Moscow. But +they will not do it. They cannot do it. And we know perfectly well that +if they were transplanted thither miraculously, they would be extremely +unhappy as soon as ever the excitement of the miracle had worn off. In +the other play Mme. Ranevsky can be saved from ruin if she will only +consent to a perfectly simple step--the sale of an estate. She cannot do +this, is ruined, and thrown out into the unsympathetic world. Chekhov is +the dramatist, not of action, but of inaction. The tragedy of inaction +is as overwhelming, when we understand it, as the tragedy of an Othello, +or a Lear, crushed by the wickedness of others. The former is being +enacted daily, but we do not stage it, we do not know how. But who +shall deny that the base of almost all human unhappiness is just this +inaction, manifesting itself in slovenliness of thought and execution, +education, and ideal? + +The Russian, painfully conscious of his own weakness, has accepted this +point of view, and regards “The Cherry Orchard” as its master-study in +dramatic form. They speak of the palpitating hush which fell upon the +audience of the Moscow Art Theatre after the first fall of the curtain +at the first performance--a hush so intense as to make Chekhov’s friends +undergo the initial emotions of assisting at a vast theatrical failure. +But the silence ryes almost a sob, to be followed, when overcome, by an +epic applause. And, a few months later, Chekhov died. + +This volume and that of Marian Fell--with which it is uniform--contain +all the dramatic works of Chekhov. It considered not worth while to +translate a few fragments published posthumously, or a monologue “On the +Evils of Tobacco”--a half humorous lecture by “the husband of his wife;” + which begins “Ladies, and in some respects, gentlemen,” as this is +hardly dramatic work. There is also a very short skit on the efficiency +of provincial fire brigades, which was obviously not intended for the +stage and has therefore been omitted. + +Lastly, the scheme of transliteration employed has been that, generally +speaking, recommended by the Liverpool School of Russian Studies. This +is distinctly the best of those in the field, but as it would compel +one, e.g., to write a popular female name, “Marya,” I have not treated +it absolute respect. For the sake of uniformity with Fell’s volume, the +author’s name is spelt Tchekoff on the title-page and cover. + +J. W. + + +RUSSIAN WEIGHTS AND MEASURES + +AND MONEY EMPLOYED IN THE PLAYS, WITH ENGLISH EQUIVALENTS + + 1 verst = 3600 feet = 2/3 mile (almost) + 1 arshin = 28 inches + 1 dessiatin = 2.7 acres + 1 copeck = 1/4 d + 1 rouble = 100 copecks = 2s. 1d. + + + + + +ON THE HIGH ROAD + +A DRAMATIC STUDY + + +CHARACTERS + + TIHON EVSTIGNEYEV, the proprietor of a inn on the main road + SEMYON SERGEYEVITCH BORTSOV, a ruined landowner + MARIA EGOROVNA, his wife + SAVVA, an aged pilgrim + NAZAROVNA and EFIMOVNA, women pilgrims + FEDYA, a labourer + EGOR MERIK, a tramp + KUSMA, a driver + POSTMAN + BORTSOV’S WIFE’S COACHMAN + PILGRIMS, CATTLE-DEALERS, ETC. + +The action takes place in one of the provinces of Southern Russia + + +[The scene is laid in TIHON’S bar. On the right is the bar-counter and +shelves with bottles. At the back is a door leading out of the house. +Over it, on the outside, hangs a dirty red lantern. The floor and the +forms, which stand against the wall, are closely occupied by pilgrims +and passers-by. Many of them, for lack of space, are sleeping as they +sit. It is late at night. As the curtain rises thunder is heard, and +lightning is seen through the door.] + + +[TIHON is behind the counter. FEDYA is half-lying in a heap on one +of the forms, and is quietly playing on a concertina. Next to him +is BORTSOV, wearing a shabby summer overcoat. SAVVA, NAZAROVNA, and +EFIMOVNA are stretched out on the floor by the benches.] + +EFIMOVNA. [To NAZAROVNA] Give the old man a nudge dear! Can’t get any +answer out of him. + +NAZAROVNA. [Lifting the corner of a cloth covering of SAVVA’S face] Are +you alive or are you dead, you holy man? + +SAVVA. Why should I be dead? I’m alive, mother! [Raises himself on his +elbow] Cover up my feet, there’s a saint! That’s it. A bit more on the +right one. That’s it, mother. God be good to us. + +NAZAROVNA. [Wrapping up SAVVA’S feet] Sleep, little father. + +SAVVA. What sleep can I have? If only I had the patience to endure this +pain, mother; sleep’s quite another matter. A sinner doesn’t deserve to +be given rest. What’s that noise, pilgrim-woman? + +NAZAROVNA. God is sending a storm. The wind is wailing, and the rain is +pouring down, pouring down. All down the roof and into the windows like +dried peas. Do you hear? The windows of heaven are opened... [Thunder] +Holy, holy, holy... + +FEDYA. And it roars and thunders, and rages, sad there’s no end to +it! Hoooo... it’s like the noise of a forest.... Hoooo.... The wind is +wailing like a dog.... [Shrinking back] It’s cold! My clothes are wet, +it’s all coming in through the open door... you might put me through a +wringer.... [Plays softly] My concertina’s damp, and so there’s no music +for you, my Orthodox brethren, or else I’d give you such a concert, my +word!--Something marvellous! You can have a quadrille, or a polka, if +you like, or some Russian dance for two.... I can do them all. In the +town, where I was an attendant at the Grand Hotel, I couldn’t make any +money, but I did wonders on my concertina. And, I can play the guitar. + +A VOICE FROM THE CORNER. A silly speech from a silly fool. + +FEDYA. I can hear another of them. [Pause.] + +NAZAROVNA. [To SAVVA] If you’d only lie where it was warm now, old man, +and warm your feet. [Pause.] Old man! Man of God! [Shakes SAVVA] Are you +going to die? + +FEDYA. You ought to drink a little vodka, grandfather. Drink, and it’ll +burn, burn in your stomach, and warm up your heart. Drink, do! + +NAZAROVNA. Don’t swank, young man! Perhaps the old man is giving back +his soul to God, or repenting for his sins, and you talk like that, and +play your concertina.... Put it down! You’ve no shame! + +FEDYA. And what are you sticking to him for? He can’t do anything and +you... with your old women’s talk... He can’t say a word in reply, and +you’re glad, and happy because he’s listening to your nonsense.... You +go on sleeping, grandfather; never mind her! Let her talk, don’t you +take any notice of her. A woman’s tongue is the devil’s broom--it will +sweep the good man and the clever man both out of the house. Don’t +you mind.... [Waves his hands] But it’s thin you are, brother of mine! +Terrible! Like a dead skeleton! No life in you! Are you really dying? + +SAVVA. Why should I die? Save me, O Lord, from dying in vain.... I’ll +suffer a little, and then get up with God’s help.... The Mother of God +won’t let me die in a strange land.... I’ll die at home. + +FEDYA. Are you from far off? + +SAVVA. From Vologda. The town itself.... I live there. + +FEDYA. And where is this Vologda? + +TIHON. The other side of Moscow.... + +FEDYA. Well, well, well.... You have come a long way, old man! On foot? + +SAVVA. On foot, young man. I’ve been to Tihon of the Don, and I’m +going to the Holy Hills. [Note: On the Donetz, south-east of Kharkov; a +monastery containing a miraculous ikon.]... From there, if God wills it, +to Odessa.... They say you can get to Jerusalem cheap from there, for +twenty-ones roubles, they say.... + +FEDYA. And have you been to Moscow? + +SAVVA. Rather! Five times.... + +FEDYA. Is it a good town? [Smokes] Well-standing? + +Sews. There are many holy places there, young man.... Where there are +many holy places it’s always a good town.... + +BORTSOV. [Goes up to the counter, to TIHON] Once more, please! For the +sake of Christ, give it to me! + +FEDYA. The chief thing about a town is that it should be clean. If it’s +dusty, it must be watered; if it’s dirty, it must be cleaned. There +ought to be big houses... a theatre... police... cabs, which... I’ve +lived in a town myself, I understand. + +BORTSOV. Just a little glass. I’ll pay you for it later. + +TIHON. That’s enough now. + +BORTSOV. I ask you! Do be kind to me! + +TIHON. Get away! + +BORTSOV. You don’t understand me.... Understand me, you fool, if there’s +a drop of brain in your peasant’s wooden head, that it isn’t I who am +asking you, but my inside, using the words you understand, that’s what’s +asking! My illness is what’s asking! Understand! + +TIHON. We don’t understand anything.... Get back! + +BORTSOV. Because if I don’t have a drink at once, just you understand +this, if I don’t satisfy my needs, I may commit some crime. God only +knows what I might do! In the time you’ve kept this place, you rascal, +haven’t you seen a lot of drunkards, and haven’t you yet got to +understand what they’re like? They’re diseased! You can do anything you +like to them, but you must give them vodka! Well, now, I implore you! +Please! I humbly ask you! God only knows how humbly! + +TIHON. You can have the vodka if you pay for it. + +BORTSOV. Where am I to get the money? I’ve drunk it all! Down to the +ground! What can I give you? I’ve only got this coat, but I can’t give +you that. I’ve nothing on underneath.... Would you like my cap? [Takes +it off and gives it to TIHON] + +TIHON. [Looks it over] Hm.... There are all sorts of caps.... It might +be a sieve from the holes in it.... + +FEDYA. [Laughs] A gentleman’s cap! You’ve got to take it off in front of +the mam’selles. How do you do, good-bye! How are you? + +TIHON. [Returns the cap to BORTSOV] I wouldn’t give anything for it. +It’s muck. + +BORTSOV. If you don’t like it, then let me owe you for the drink! I’ll +bring in your five copecks on my way back from town. You can take it and +choke yourself with it then! Choke yourself! I hope it sticks in your +throat! [Coughs] I hate you! + +TIHON. [Banging the bar-counter with his fist] Why do you keep on like +that? What a man! What are you here for, you swindler? + +BORTSOV. I want a drink! It’s not I, it’s my disease! Understand that! + +TIHON. Don’t you make me lose my temper, or you’ll soon find yourself +outside! + +BORTSOV. What am I to do? [Retires from the bar-counter] What am I to +do? [Is thoughtful.] + +EFIMOVNA. It’s the devil tormenting you. Don’t you mind him, sir. The +damned one keeps whispering, “Drink! Drink!” And you answer him, “I +shan’t drink! I shan’t drink!” He’ll go then. + +FEDYA. It’s drumming in his head.... His stomach’s leading him on! +[Laughs] Your houour’s a happy man. Lie down and go to sleep! What’s the +use of standing like a scarecrow in the middle of the inn! This isn’t an +orchard! + +BORTSOV. [Angrily] Shut up! Nobody spoke to you, you donkey. + +FEDYA. Go on, go on! We’ve seen the like of you before! There’s a lot +like you tramping the high road! As to being a donkey, you wait till +I’ve given you a clout on the ear and you’ll howl worse than the wind. +Donkey yourself! Fool! [Pause] Scum! + +NAZAROVNA. The old man may be saying a prayer, or giving up his soul +to God, and here are these unclean ones wrangling with one another and +saying all sorts of... Have shame on yourselves! + +FEDYA. Here, you cabbage-stalk, you keep quiet, even if you are in a +public-house. Just you behave like everybody else. + +BORTSOV. What am I to do? What will become of me? How can I make him +understand? What else can I say to him? [To TIHON] The blood’s boiling +in my chest! Uncle Tihon! [Weeps] Uncle Tihon! + +SAWA. [Groans] I’ve got shooting-pains in my leg, like bullets of +fire.... Little mother, pilgrim. + +EFIMOVNA. What is it, little father? + +SAVVA. Who’s that crying? + +EFIMOVNA. The gentleman. + +SAVVA. Ask him to shed a tear for me, that I might die in Vologda. +Tearful prayers are heard. + +BORTSOV. I’m not praying, grandfather! These aren’t tears! Just juice! +My soul is crushed; and the juice is running. [Sits by SAVVA] Juice! +But you wouldn’t understand! You, with your darkened brain, wouldn’t +understand. You people are all in the dark! + +SAVVA. Where will you find those who live in the light? + +BORTSOV. They do exist, grandfather.... They would understand! + +SAVVA. Yes, yes, dear friend.... The saints lived in the light.... They +understood all our griefs.... You needn’t even tell them.... and they’ll +understand.... Just by looking at your eyes.... And then you’ll have +such peace, as if you were never in grief at all--it will all go! + +FEDYA. And have you ever seen any saints? + +SAVVA. It has happened, young man.... There are many of all sorts on +this earth. Sinners, and servants of God. + +BORTSOV. I don’t understand all this.... [Gets up quickly] What’s the +use of talking when you don’t understand, and what sort of a brain have +I now? I’ve only an instinct, a thirst! [Goes quickly to the counter] +Tihon, take my coat! Understand? [Tries to take it off] My coat... + +TIHON. And what is there under your coat? [Looks under it] Your naked +body? Don’t take it off, I shan’t have it.... I’m not going to burden my +soul with a sin. + +[Enter MERIK.] + +BORTSOV. Very well, I’ll take the sin on myself! Do you agree? + +MERIK. [In silence takes of his outer cloak and remains in a sleeveless +jacket. He carries an axe in his belt] A vagrant may sweat where a bear +will freeze. I am hot. [Puts his axe on the floor and takes off his +jacket] You get rid of a pailful of sweat while you drag one leg out of +the mud. And while you are dragging it out, the other one goes farther +in. + +EFIMOVNA. Yes, that’s true... is the rain stopping, dear? + +MERIK. [Glancing at EFIMOVNA] I don’t talk to old women. [A pause.] + +BORTSOV. [To TIHON] I’ll take the sin on myself. Do you hear me or don’t +you? + +TIHON. I don’t want to hear you, get away! + +MERIK. It’s as dark as if the sky was painted with pitch. You can’t +see your own nose. And the rain beats into your face like a snowstorm! +[Picks up his clothes and axe.] + +FEDYA. It’s a good thing for the likes of us thieves. When the cat’s +away the mice will play. + +MERIK. Who says that? + +FEDYA. Look and see... before you forget. + +MERIN. We’ll make a note of it.... [Goes up to TIHON] How do you do, you +with the large face! Don’t you remember me. + +TIHON. If I’m to remember every one of you drunkards that walks the high +road, I reckon I’d need ten holes in my forehead. + +MERIK. Just look at me.... [A pause.] + +TIHON. Oh, yes; I remember. I knew you by your eyes! [Gives him his +hand] Andrey Polikarpov? + +MERIK. I used to be Andrey Polikarpov, but now I am Egor Merik. + +TIHON. Why’s that? + +MERIK. I call myself after whatever passport God gives me. I’ve been +Merik for two months. [Thunder] Rrrr.... Go on thundering, I’m not +afraid! [Looks round] Any police here? + +TIHON. What are you talking about, making mountains out of +mole-hills?... The people here are all right... The police are fast +asleep in their feather beds now.... [Loudly] Orthodox brothers, mind +your pockets and your clothes, or you’ll have to regret it. The man’s a +rascal! He’ll rob you! + +MERIK. They can look out for their money, but as to their clothes--I +shan’t touch them. I’ve nowhere to take them. + +TIHON. Where’s the devil taking you to? + +MERIK. To Kuban. + +TIHON. My word! + +FEDYA. To Kuban? Really? [Sitting up] It’s a fine place. You wouldn’t +see such a country, brother, if you were to fall asleep and dream for +three years. They say the birds there, and the beasts are--my God! The +grass grows all the year round, the people are good, and they’ve so much +land they don’t know what to do with it! The authorities, they say... a +soldier was telling me the other day... give a hundred dessiatins ahead. +There’s happiness, God strike me! + +MERIK. Happiness.... Happiness goes behind you.... You don’t see it. +It’s as near as your elbow is, but you can’t bite it. It’s all +silly.... [Looking round at the benches and the people] Like a lot of +prisoners.... A poor lot. + +EFIMOVNA. [To MERIK] What great, angry, eyes! There’s an enemy in you, +young man.... Don’t you look at us! + +MERIK. Yes, you’re a poor lot here. + +EFIMOVNA. Turn away! [Nudges SAVVA] Savva, darling, a wicked man is +looking at us. He’ll do us harm, dear. [To MERIK] Turn away, I tell you, +you snake! + +SAVVA. He won’t touch us, mother, he won’t touch us.... God won’t let +him. + +MERIK. All right, Orthodox brothers! [Shrugs his shoulders] Be quiet! +You aren’t asleep, you bandy-legged fools! Why don’t you say something? + +EFIMOVNA. Take your great eyes away! Take away that devil’s own pride! + +MERIK. Be quiet, you crooked old woman! I didn’t come with the devil’s +pride, but with kind words, wishing to honour your bitter lot! You’re +huddled together like flies because of the cold--I’d be sorry for you, +speak kindly to you, pity your poverty, and here you go grumbling away! +[Goes up to FEDYA] Where are you from? + +FEDYA. I live in these parts. I work at the Khamonyevsky brickworks. + +MERIK. Get up. + +FEDYA. [Raising himself] Well? + +MERIK. Get up, right up. I’m going to lie down here. + +FEDYA. What’s that.... It isn’t your place, is it? + +MERIK. Yes, mine. Go and lie on the ground! + +FEDYA. You get out of this, you tramp. I’m not afraid of you. + +MERIK. You’re very quick with your tongue.... Get up, and don’t talk +about it! You’ll be sorry for it, you silly. + +TIHON. [To FEDYA] Don’t contradict him, young man. Never mind. + +FEDYA. What right have you? You stick out your fishy eyes and think +I’m afraid! [Picks up his belongings and stretches himself out on the +ground] You devil! [Lies down and covers himself all over.] + +MERIK. [Stretching himself out on the bench] I don’t expect you’ve ever +seen a devil or you wouldn’t call me one. Devils aren’t like that. [Lies +down, putting his axe next to him.] Lie down, little brother axe... let +me cover you. + +TIHON. Where did you get the axe from? + +MERIK. Stole it.... Stole it, and now I’ve got to fuss over it like a +child with a new toy; I don’t like to throw it away, and I’ve nowhere to +put it. Like a beastly wife.... Yes.... [Covering himself over] Devils +aren’t like that, brother. + +FEDYA. [Uncovering his head] What are they like? + +MERIK. Like steam, like air.... Just blow into the air. [Blows] They’re +like that, you can’t see them. + +A VOICE FROM THE CORNER. You can see them if you sit under a harrow. + +MERIK. I’ve tried, but I didn’t see any.... Old women’s tales, and silly +old men’s, too.... You won’t see a devil or a ghost or a corpse.... Our +eyes weren’t made so that we could see everything.... When I was a boy, +I used to walk in the woods at night on purpose to see the demon of the +woods.... I’d shout and shout, and there might be some spirit, I’d call +for the demon of the woods and not blink my eyes: I’d see all sorts of +little things moving about, but no demon. I used to go and walk about +the churchyards at night, I wanted to see the ghosts--but the women lie. +I saw all sorts of animals, but anything awful--not a sign. Our eyes +weren’t... + +THE VOICE FROM THE CORNER. Never mind, it does happen that you +do see.... In our village a man was gutting a wild boar... he was +separating the tripe when... something jumped out at him! + +SAVVA. [Raising himself] Little children, don’t talk about these unclean +things! It’s a sin, dears! + +MERIK. Aaa... greybeard! You skeleton! [Laughs] You needn’t go to the +churchyard to see ghosts, when they get up from under the floor to give +advice to their relations.... A sin!... Don’t you teach people your +silly notions! You’re an ignorant lot of people living in darkness.... +[Lights his pipe] My father was peasant and used to be fond of teaching +people. One night he stole a sack of apples from the village priest, and +he brings them along and tells us, “Look, children, mind you don’t eat +any apples before Easter, it’s a sin.” You’re like that.... You don’t +know what a devil is, but you go calling people devils.... Take this +crooked old woman, for instance. [Points to EFIMOVNA] She sees an enemy +in me, but is her time, for some woman’s nonsense or other, she’s given +her soul to the devil five times. + +EFIMOVNA. Hoo, hoo, hoo.... Gracious heavens! [Covers her face] Little +Savva! + +TIHON. What are you frightening them for? A great pleasure! [The door +slams in the wind] Lord Jesus.... The wind, the wind! + +MERIK. [Stretching himself] Eh, to show my strength! [The door slams +again] If I could only measure myself against the wind! Shall I tear the +door down, or suppose I tear up the inn by the roots! [Gets up and lies +down again] How dull! + +NAZAROVNA. You’d better pray, you heathen! Why are you so restless? + +EFIMOVNA. Don’t speak to him, leave him alone! He’s looking at us again. +[To MERIK] Don’t look at us, evil man! Your eyes are like the eyes of a +devil before cockcrow! + +SAVVA. Let him look, pilgrims! You pray, and his eyes won’t do you any +harm. + +BORTSOV. No, I can’t. It’s too much for my strength! [Goes up to the +counter] Listen, Tihon, I ask you for the last time.... Just half a +glass! + +TIHON. [Shakes his head] The money! + +BORTSOV. My God, haven’t I told you! I’ve drunk it all! Where am I to +get it? And you won’t go broke even if you do let me have a drop of +vodka on tick. A glass of it only costs you two copecks, and it will +save me from suffering! I am suffering! Understand! I’m in misery, I’m +suffering! + +TIHON. Go and tell that to someone else, not to me.... Go and ask the +Orthodox, perhaps they’ll give you some for Christ’s sake, if they feel +like it, but I’ll only give bread for Christ’s sake. + +BORTSOV. You can rob those wretches yourself, I shan’t.... I won’t do +it! I won’t! Understand? [Hits the bar-counter with his fist] I won’t. +[A pause.] Hm... just wait.... [Turns to the pilgrim women] It’s an +idea, all the same, Orthodox ones! Spare five copecks! My inside asks +for it. I’m ill! + +FEDYA. Oh, you swindler, with your “spare five copecks.” Won’t you have +some water? + +BORTSOV. How I am degrading myself! I don’t want it! I don’t want +anything! I was joking! + +MERIK. You won’t get it out of him, sir.... He’s a famous skinflint.... +Wait, I’ve got a five-copeck piece somewhere.... We’ll have a glass +between us--half each [Searches in his pockets] The devil... it’s lost +somewhere.... Thought I heard it tinkling just now in my pocket.... No; +no, it isn’t there, brother, it’s your luck! [A pause.] + +BORTSOV. But if I can’t drink, I’ll commit a crime or I’ll kill +myself.... What shall I do, my God! [Looks through the door] Shall I go +out, then? Out into this darkness, wherever my feet take me.... + +MERIK. Why don’t you give him a sermon, you pilgrims? And you, Tihon, +why don’t you drive him out? He hasn’t paid you for his night’s +accommodation. Chuck him out! Eh, the people are cruel nowadays. There’s +no gentleness or kindness in them.... A savage people! A man is drowning +and they shout to him: “Hurry up and drown, we’ve got no time to look +at you; we’ve got to go to work.” As to throwing him a rope--there’s no +worry about that.... A rope would cost money. + +SAVVA. Don’t talk, kind man! + +MERIK. Quiet, old wolf! You’re a savage race! Herods! Sellers of your +souls! [To TIHON] Come here, take off my boots! Look sharp now! + +TIHON. Eh, he’s let himself go I [Laughs] Awful, isn’t it. + +MERIK. Go on, do as you’re told! Quick now! [Pause] Do you hear me, or +don’t you? Am I talking to you or the wall? [Stands up] + +TIHON. Well... give over. + +MERIK. I want you, you fleecer, to take the boots off me, a poor tramp. + +TIHON. Well, well... don’t get excited. Here have a glass.... Have a +drink, now! + +MERIK. People, what do I want? Do I want him to stand me vodka, or to +take off my boots? Didn’t I say it properly? [To TIHON] Didn’t you hear +me rightly? I’ll wait a moment, perhaps you’ll hear me then. + +[There is excitement among the pilgrims and tramps, who half-raise +themselves in order to look at TIHON and MERIK. They wait in silence.] + +TIHON. The devil brought you here! [Comes out from behind the bar] What +a gentleman! Come on now. [Takes off MERIK’S boots] You child of Cain... + +MERIK. That’s right. Put them side by side.... Like that... you can go +now! + +TIHON. [Returns to the bar-counter] You’re too fond of being clever. You +do it again and I’ll turn you out of the inn! Yes! [To BORTSOV, who is +approaching] You, again? + +BORTSOV. Look here, suppose I give you something made of gold.... I will +give it to you. + +TIHON. What are you shaking for? Talk sense! + +BORTSOV. It may be mean and wicked on my part, but what am I to do? I’m +doing this wicked thing, not reckoning on what’s to come.... If I was +tried for it, they’d let me off. Take it, only on condition that you +return it later, when I come back from town. I give it to you in front +of these witnesses. You will be my witnesses! [Takes a gold medallion +out from the breast of his coat] Here it is.... I ought to take the +portrait out, but I’ve nowhere to put it; I’m wet all over.... Well, +take the portrait, too! Only mind this... don’t let your fingers touch +that face.... Please... I was rude to you, my dear fellow, I was a fool, +but forgive me and... don’t touch it with your fingers.... Don’t look at +that face with your eyes. [Gives TIHON the medallion.] + +TIHON. [Examining it] Stolen property.... All right, then, drink.... +[Pours out vodka] Confound you. + +BORTSOV. Only don’t you touch it... with your fingers. [Drinks slowly, +with feverish pauses.] + +TIHON. [Opens the medallion] Hm... a lady!... Where did you get hold of +this? + +MERIK. Let’s have a look. [Goes to the bar] Let’s see. + +TIHON. [Pushes his hand away] Where are you going to? You look somewhere +else! + +FEDYA. [Gets up and comes to TIHON] I want to look too! + +[Several of the tramps, etc., approach the bar and form a group. MERIK +grips TIHON’s hand firmly with both his, looks at the portrait, in the +medallion in silence. A pause.] + +MERIK. A pretty she-devil. A real lady.... + +FEDYA. A real lady.... Look at her cheeks, her eyes.... Open your hand, +I can’t see. Hair coming down to her waist.... It is lifelike! She might +be going to say something.... [Pause.] + +MERIK. It’s destruction for a weak man. A woman like that gets a hold on +one and... [Waves his hand] you’re done for! + +[KUSMA’S voice is heard. “Trrr.... Stop, you brutes!” Enter KUSMA.] + +KUSMA. There stands an inn upon my way. Shall I drive or walk past it, +say? You can pass your own father and not notice him, but you can see an +inn in the dark a hundred versts away. Make way, if you believe in God! +Hullo, there! [Planks a five-copeck piece down on the counter] A glass +of real Madeira! Quick! + +FEDYA. Oh, you devil! + +TIHON. Don’t wave your arms about, or you’ll hit somebody. + +KUSMA. God gave us arms to wave about. Poor sugary things, you’re +half-melted. You’re frightened of the rain, poor delicate things. +[Drinks.] + +EFIMOVNA. You may well get frightened, good man, if you’re caught on +your way in a night like this. Now, thank God, it’s all right, there +are many villages and houses where you can shelter from the weather, but +before that there weren’t any. Oh, Lord, it was bad! You walk a hundred +versts, and not only isn’t there a village; or a house, but you don’t +even see a dry stick. So you sleep on the ground.... + +KUSMA. Have you been long on this earth, old woman? + +EFIMOVNA. Over seventy years, little father. + +KUSMA. Over seventy years! You’ll soon come to crow’s years. [Looks at +BORTSOV] And what sort of a raisin is this? [Staring at BORTSOV] Sir! +[BORTSOV recognizes KUSMA and retires in confusion to a corner of the +room, where he sits on a bench] Semyon Sergeyevitch! Is that you, or +isn’t it? Eh? What are you doing in this place? It’s not the sort of +place for you, is it? + +BORTSOV. Be quiet! + +MERIK. [To KUSMA] Who is it? + +KUSMA. A miserable sufferer. [Paces irritably by the counter] Eh? In an +inn, my goodness! Tattered! Drunk! I’m upset, brothers... upset.... +[To MERIK, in an undertone] It’s my master... our landlord. Semyon +Sergeyevitch and Mr. Bortsov.... Have you ever seen such a state? What +does he look like? Just... it’s the drink that brought him to this.... +Give me some more! [Drinks] I come from his village, Bortsovka; you may +have heard of it, it’s 200 versts from here, in the Ergovsky district. +We used to be his father’s serfs.... What a shame! + +MERIK. Was he rich? + +KUSMA. Very. + +MERIK. Did he drink it all? + +KUSMA. No, my friend, it was something else.... He used to be great and +rich and sober.... [To TIHON] Why you yourself used to see him riding, +as he used to, past this inn, on his way to the town. Such bold and +noble horses! A carriage on springs, of the best quality! He used to +own five troikas, brother.... Five years ago, I remember, he cam here +driving two horses from Mikishinsky, and he paid with a five-rouble +piece.... I haven’t the time, he says, to wait for the change.... There! + +MERIK. His brain’s gone, I suppose. + +KUSMA. His brain’s all right.... It all happened because of his +cowardice! From too much fat. First of all, children, because of a +woman.... He fell in love with a woman of the town, and it seemed to him +that there wasn’t any more beautiful thing in the wide world. A fool may +love as much as a wise man. The girl’s people were all right.... But +she wasn’t exactly loose, but just... giddy... always changing her mind! +Always winking at one! Always laughing and laughing.... No sense at all. +The gentry like that, they think that’s nice, but we moujiks would soon +chuck her out.... Well, he fell in love, and his luck ran out. He began +to keep company with her, one thing led to another... they used to go +out in a boat all night, and play pianos.... + +BORTSOV. Don’t tell them, Kusma! Why should you? What has my life got to +do with them? + +KUSMA. Forgive me, your honour, I’m only telling them a little... what +does it matter, anyway.... I’m shaking all over. Pour out some more. +[Drinks.] + +MERIK. [In a semitone] And did she love him? + +KUSMA. [In a semitone which gradually becomes his ordinary voice] How +shouldn’t she? He was a man of means.... Of course you’ll fall in love +when the man has a thousand dessiatins and money to burn.... He was a +solid, dignified, sober gentleman... always the same, like this... give +me your hand [Takes MERIK’S hand] “How do you do and good-bye, do me +the favour.” Well, I was going one evening past his garden--and what a +garden, brother, versts of it--I was going along quietly, and I look and +see the two of them sitting on a seat and kissing each other. [Imitates +the sound] He kisses her once, and the snake gives him back two.... He +was holding her white, little hand, and she was all fiery and kept on +getting closer and closer, too.... “I love you,” she says. And he, like +one of the damned, walks about from one place to another and brags, +the coward, about his happiness.... Gives one man a rouble, and two to +another.... Gives me money for a horse. Let off everybody’s debts.... + +BORTSOV. Oh, why tell them all about it? These people haven’t any +sympathy.... It hurts! + +KUSMA. It’s nothing, sir! They asked me! Why shouldn’t I tell them? +But if you are angry I won’t... I won’t.... What do I care for them.... +[Post-bells are heard.] + +FEDYA. Don’t shout; tell us quietly.... + +KUSMA. I’ll tell you quietly.... He doesn’t want me to, but it can’t be +helped.... But there’s nothing more to tell. They got married, that’s +all. There was nothing else. Pour out another drop for Kusma the stony! +[Drinks] I don’t like people getting drunk! Why the time the wedding +took place, when the gentlefolk sat down to supper afterwards, she went +off in a carriage... [Whispers] To the town, to her lover, a lawyer.... +Eh? What do you think of her now? Just at the very moment! She would be +let off lightly if she were killed for it! + +MERIK. [Thoughtfully] Well... what happened then? + +KUSMA. He went mad.... As you see, he started with a fly, as they say, +and now it’s grown to a bumble-bee. It was a fly then, and now--it’s +a bumble-bee.... And he still loves her. Look at him, he loves her! I +expect he’s walking now to the town to get a glimpse of her with one +eye.... He’ll get a glimpse of her, and go back.... + +[The post has driven up to the in.. The POSTMAN enters and has a drink.] + +TIHON. The post’s late to-day! + +[The POSTMAN pays in silence and goes out. The post drives off, the +bells ringing.] + +A VOICE FROM THE CORNER. One could rob the post in weather like +this--easy as spitting. + +MERIK. I’ve been alive thirty-five years and I haven’t robbed the post +once.... [Pause] It’s gone now... too late, too late.... + +KUSMA. Do you want to smell the inside of a prison? + +MERIK. People rob and don’t go to prison. And if I do go! [Suddenly] +What else? + +KUSMA. Do you mean that unfortunate? + +MERIK. Who else? + +KUSMA. The second reason, brothers, why he was ruined was because of +his brother-in-law, his sister’s husband.... He took it into his head to +stand surety at the bank for 30,000 roubles for his brother-in-law. The +brother-in-law’s a thief.... The swindler knows which side his bread’s +buttered and won’t budge an inch.... So he doesn’t pay up.... So our man +had to pay up the whole thirty thousand. [Sighs] The fool is suffering +for his folly. His wife’s got children now by the lawyer and the +brother-in-law has bought an estate near Poltava, and our man goes +round inns like a fool, and complains to the likes of us: “I’ve lost all +faith, brothers! I can’t believe in anybody now!” It’s cowardly! Every +man has his grief, a snake that sucks at his heart, and does that mean +that he must drink? Take our village elder, for example. His wife plays +about with the schoolmaster in broad daylight, and spends his money on +drink, but the elder walks about smiling to himself. He’s just a little +thinner... + +TIHON. [Sighs] When God gives a man strength.... + +KUSMA. There’s all sorts of strength, that’s true.... Well? How much +does it come to? [Pays] Take your pound of flesh! Good-bye, children! +Good-night and pleasant dreams! It’s time I hurried off. I’m bringing +my lady a midwife from the hospital.... She must be getting wet with +waiting, poor thing.... [Runs out. A pause.] + +TIHON. Oh, you! Unhappy man, come and drink this! [Pours out.] + +BORTSOV. [Comes up to the bar hesitatingly and drinks] That means I now +owe you for two glasses. + +TIHON. You don’t owe me anything? Just drink and drown your sorrows! + +FEDYA. Drink mine, too, sir! Oh! [Throws down a five-copeck piece] If +you drink, you die; if you don’t drink, you die. It’s good not to drink +vodka, but by God you’re easier when you’ve got some! Vodka takes grief +away.... It is hot! + +BORTSOV. Boo! The heat! + +MERIK. Dive it here! [Takes the medallion from TIHON and examines her +portrait] Hm. Ran off after the wedding. What a woman! + +A VOICE FROM THE CORNER. Pour him out another glass, Tihon. Let him +drink mine, too. + +MERIK. [Dashes the medallion to the ground] Curse her! [Goes quickly to +his place and lies down, face to the wall. General excitement.] + +BORTSOV. Here, what’s that? [Picks up the medallion] How dare you, you +beast? What right have you? [Tearfully] Do you want me to kill you? You +moujik! You boor! + +TIHON. Don’t be angry, sir.... It isn’t glass, it isn’t broken.... Have +another drink and go to sleep. [Pours out] Here I’ve been listening to +you all, and when I ought to have locked up long ago. [Goes and looks +door leading out.] + +BORTSOV. [Drinks] How dare he? The fool! [to MERIK] Do you understand? +You’re a fool, a donkey! + +SAVVA. Children! If you please! Stop that talking! What’s the good of +making a noise? Let people go to sleep. + +TIHON. Lie down, lie down... be quiet! [Goes behind the counter and +locks the till] It’s time to sleep. + +FEDYA. It’s time! [Lies down] Pleasant dreams, brothers! + +MERIK. [Gets up and spreads his short fur and coat the bench] Come on, +lie down, sir. + +TIHON. And where will you sleep. + +MERIK. Oh, anywhere.... The floor will do.... [Spreads a coat on the +floor] It’s all one to me [Puts the axe by him] It would be torture for +him to sleep on the floor. He’s used to silk and down.... + +TIHON. [To BORTSOV] Lie down, your honour! You’ve looked at that +portrait long enough. [Puts out a candle] Throw it away! + +BORTSOV. [Swaying about] Where can I lie down? + +TIHON. In the tramp’s place! Didn’t you hear him giving it up to you? + +BORTSOV. [Going up to the vacant place] I’m a bit... drunk... after all +that.... Is this it?... Do I lie down here? Eh? + +TIHON. Yes, yes, lie down, don’t be afraid. [Stretches himself out on +the counter.] + +BORTSOV. [Lying down] I’m... drunk.... Everything’s going round.... +[Opens the medallion] Haven’t you a little candle? [Pause] You’re +a queer little woman Masha.... Looking at me out of the frame and +laughing.... [Laughs] I’m drunk! And should you laugh at a man because +he’s drunk? You look out, as Schastlivtsev says, and... love the +drunkard. + +FEDYA. How the wind howls. It’s dreary! + +BORTSOV. [Laughs] What a woman.... Why do you keep on going round? I +can’t catch you! + +MERIK. He’s wandering. Looked too long at the portrait. [Laughs] What +a business! Educated people go and invent all sorts of machines and +medicines, but there hasn’t yet been a man wise enough to invent a +medicine against the female sex.... They try to cure every sort of +disease, and it never occurs to them that more people die of women +than of disease.... Sly, stingy, cruel, brainless.... The mother-in-law +torments the bride and the bride makes things square by swindling the +husband... and there’s no end to it.... + +TIHON. The women have ruffled his hair for him, and so he’s bristly. + +MERIK. It isn’t only I.... From the beginning of the ages, since the +world has been in existence, people have complained.... It’s not for +nothing that in the songs and stories, the devil and the woman are put +side by side.... Not for nothing! It’s half true, at any rate... [Pause] +Here’s the gentleman playing the fool, but I had more sense, didn’t I, +when I left my father and mother, and became a tramp? + +FEDYA. Because of women? + +MERIK. Just like the gentleman... I walked about like one of the damned, +bewitched, blessing my stars... on fire day and night, until at last my +eyes were opened... It wasn’t love, but just a fraud.... + +FEDYA. What did you do to her? + +MERIK. Never you mind.... [Pause] Do you think I killed her?... I +wouldn’t do it.... If you kill, you are sorry for it.... She can live +and be happy! If only I’d never set eyes on you, or if I could only +forget you, you viper’s brood! [A knocking at the door.] + +TIHON. Whom have the devils brought.... Who’s there? [Knocking] Who +knocks? [Gets up and goes to the door] Who knocks? Go away, we’ve locked +up! + +A VOICE. Please let me in, Tihon. The carriage-spring’s broken! Be a +father to me and help me! If I only had a little string to tie it round +with, we’d get there somehow or other. + +TIHON. Who are you? + +THE VOICE. My lady is going to Varsonofyev from the town.... It’s only +five versts farther on.... Do be a good man and help! + +TIHON. Go and tell the lady that if she pays ten roubles she can have +her string and we’ll mend the spring. + +THE VOICE. Have you gone mad, or what? Ten roubles! You mad dog! +Profiting by our misfortunes! + +TIHON. Just as you like.... You needn’t if you don’t want to. + +THE VOICE. Very well, wait a bit. [Pause] She says, all right. + +TIHON. Pleased to hear it! + +[Opens door. The COACHMAN enters.] + +COACHMAN. Good evening, Orthodox people! Well, give me the string! +Quick! Who’ll go and help us, children? There’ll be something left over +for your trouble! + +TIHON. There won’t be anything left over.... Let them sleep, the two of +us can manage. + +COACHMAN. Foo, I am tired! It’s cold, and there’s not a dry spot in all +the mud.... Another thing, dear.... Have you got a little room in here +for the lady to warm herself in? The carriage is all on one side, she +can’t stay in it.... + +TIHON. What does she want a room for? She can warm herself in here, if +she’s cold.... We’ll find a place [Clears a space next to BORTSOV] Get +up, get up! Just lie on the floor for an hour, and let the lady get +warm. [To BORTSOV] Get up, your honour! Sit up! [BORTSOV sits up] Here’s +a place for you. [Exit COACHMAN.] + +FEDYA. Here’s a visitor for you, the devil’s brought her! Now there’ll +be no sleep before daylight. + +TIHON. I’m sorry I didn’t ask for fifteen.... She’d have given them.... +[Stands expectantly before the door] You’re a delicate sort of people, I +must say. [Enter MARIA EGOROVNA, followed by the COACHMAN. TIHON bows.] +Please, your highness! Our room is very humble, full of blackbeetles! +But don’t disdain it! + +MARIA EGOROVNA. I can’t see anything.... Which way do I go? + +TIHON. This way, your highness! [Leads her to the place next to BORTSOV] +This way, please. [Blows on the place] I haven’t any separate rooms, +excuse me, but don’t you be afraid, madam, the people here are good and +quiet.... + +MARIA EGOROVNA. [Sits next to BORTSOV] How awfully stuffy! Open the +door, at any rate! + +TIHON. Yes, madam. [Runs and opens the door wide.] + +MARIA. We’re freezing, and you open the door! [Gets up and slams it] Who +are you to be giving orders? [Lies down] + +TIHON. Excuse me, your highness, but we’ve a little fool here... a bit +cracked.... But don’t you be frightened, he won’t do you any harm.... +Only you must excuse me, madam, I can’t do this for ten roubles.... Make +it fifteen. + +MARIA EGOROVNA. Very well, only be quick. + +TIHON. This minute... this very instant. [Drags some string out from +under the counter] This minute. [A pause.] + +BORTSOV. [Looking at MARIA EGOROVNA] Marie... Masha... + +MARIA EGOROVNA. [Looks at BORTSOV] What’s this? + +BORTSOV. Marie... is it you? Where do you come from? [MARIA EGOROVNA +recognizes BORTSOV, screams and runs off into the centre of the floor. +BORTSOV follows] Marie, it is I... I [Laughs loudly] My wife! Marie! +Where am I? People, a light! + +MARIA EGOROVNA. Get away from me! You lie, it isn’t you! It can’t be! +[Covers her face with her hands] It’s a lie, it’s all nonsense! + +BORTSOV. Her voice, her movements.... Marie, it is I! I’ll stop in +a moment.... I was drunk.... My head’s going round.... My God! Stop, +stop.... I can’t understand anything. [Yells] My wife! [Falls at her +feet and sobs. A group collects around the husband and wife.] + +MARIA EGOROVNA. Stand back! [To the COACHMAN] Denis, let’s go! I can’t +stop here any longer! + +MERIK. [Jumps up and looks her steadily in the face] The portrait! +[Grasps her hand] It is she! Eh, people, she’s the gentleman’s wife! + +MARIA EGOROVNA. Get away, fellow! [Tries to tear her hand away from him] +Denis, why do you stand there staring? [DENIS and TIHON run up to her +and get hold of MERIK’S arms] This thieves’ kitchen! Let go my hand! I’m +not afraid!... Get away from me! + +MERIK. [Note: Throughout this speech, in the original, Merik uses the +familiar second person singular.] Wait a bit, and I’ll let go.... Just +let me say one word to you.... One word, so that you may understand.... +Just wait.... [Turns to TIHON and DENIS] Get away, you rogues, let go! I +shan’t let you go till I’ve had my say! Stop... one moment. [Strikes +his forehead with his fist] No, God hasn’t given me the wisdom! I can’t +think of the word for you! + +MARIA EGOROVNA. [Tears away her hand] Get away! Drunkards... let’s go, +Denis! + +[She tries to go out, but MERIK blocks the door.] + +MERIK. Just throw a glance at him, with only one eye if you like! Or say +only just one kind little word to him! God’s own sake! + +MARIA EGOROVNA. Take away this... fool. + +MERIK. Then the devil take you, you accursed woman! + +[He swings his axe. General confusion. Everybody jumps up noisily and +with cries of horror. SAVVA stands between MERIK and MARIA EGOROVNA.... +DENIS forces MERIK to one side and carries out his mistress. After this +all stand as if turned to stone. A prolonged pause. BORTSOV suddenly +waves his hands in the air.] + +BORTSOV. Marie... where are you, Marie! + +NAZAROVNA. My God, my God! You’ve torn up my your murderers! What an +accursed night! + +MERIK. [Lowering his hand; he still holds the axe] Did I kill her or no? + + HIGH ROAD + +TIHON. Thank God, your head is safe.... + +MERIK. Then I didn’t kill her.... [Totters to his bed] Fate hasn’t sent +me to my death because of a stolen axe.... [Falls down and sobs] Woe! +Woe is me! Have pity on me, Orthodox people! + +Curtain. + + + + + +THE PROPOSAL + + +CHARACTERS + + STEPAN STEPANOVITCH CHUBUKOV, a landowner + NATALYA STEPANOVNA, his daughter, twenty-five years old + IVAN VASSILEVITCH LOMOV, a neighbour of Chubukov, a large and + hearty, but very suspicious landowner + +The scene is laid at CHUBUKOV’s country-house + + +A drawing-room in CHUBUKOV’S house. + +[LOMOV enters, wearing a dress-jacket and white gloves. CHUBUKOV rises +to meet him.] + +CHUBUKOV. My dear fellow, whom do I see! Ivan Vassilevitch! I am +extremely glad! [Squeezes his hand] Now this is a surprise, my +darling... How are you? + +LOMOV. Thank you. And how may you be getting on? + +CHUBUKOV. We just get along somehow, my angel, to your prayers, and +so on. Sit down, please do.... Now, you know, you shouldn’t forget all +about your neighbours, my darling. My dear fellow, why are you so formal +in your get-up? Evening dress, gloves, and so on. Can you be going +anywhere, my treasure? + +LOMOV. No, I’ve come only to see you, honoured Stepan Stepanovitch. + +CHUBUKOV. Then why are you in evening dress, my precious? As if you’re +paying a New Year’s Eve visit! + +LOMOV. Well, you see, it’s like this. [Takes his arm] I’ve come to you, +honoured Stepan Stepanovitch, to trouble you with a request. Not once or +twice have I already had the privilege of applying to you for help, and +you have always, so to speak... I must ask your pardon, I am getting +excited. I shall drink some water, honoured Stepan Stepanovitch. +[Drinks.] + +CHUBUKOV. [Aside] He’s come to borrow money! Shan’t give him any! +[Aloud] What is it, my beauty? + +LOMOV. You see, Honour Stepanitch... I beg pardon, Stepan Honouritch... +I mean, I’m awfully excited, as you will please notice.... In short, you +alone can help me, though I don’t deserve it, of course... and haven’t +any right to count on your assistance.... + +CHUBUKOV. Oh, don’t go round and round it, darling! Spit it out! Well? + +LOMOV. One moment... this very minute. The fact is, I’ve come to ask the +hand of your daughter, Natalya Stepanovna, in marriage. + +CHUBUKOV. [Joyfully] By Jove! Ivan Vassilevitch! Say it again--I didn’t +hear it all! + +LOMOV. I have the honour to ask... + +CHUBUKOV. [Interrupting] My dear fellow... I’m so glad, and so on.... +Yes, indeed, and all that sort of thing. [Embraces and kisses LOMOV] +I’ve been hoping for it for a long time. It’s been my continual desire. +[Sheds a tear] And I’ve always loved you, my angel, as if you were my +own son. May God give you both His help and His love and so on, and I +did so much hope... What am I behaving in this idiotic way for? I’m off +my balance with joy, absolutely off my balance! Oh, with all my soul... +I’ll go and call Natasha, and all that. + +LOMOV. [Greatly moved] Honoured Stepan Stepanovitch, do you think I may +count on her consent? + +CHUBUKOV. Why, of course, my darling, and... as if she won’t consent! +She’s in love; egad, she’s like a love-sick cat, and so on.... Shan’t be +long! [Exit.] + +LOMOV. It’s cold... I’m trembling all over, just as if I’d got an +examination before me. The great thing is, I must have my mind made up. +If I give myself time to think, to hesitate, to talk a lot, to look for +an ideal, or for real love, then I’ll never get married.... Brr!... It’s +cold! Natalya Stepanovna is an excellent housekeeper, not bad-looking, +well-educated.... What more do I want? But I’m getting a noise in +my ears from excitement. [Drinks] And it’s impossible for me not to +marry.... In the first place, I’m already 35--a critical age, so to +speak. In the second place, I ought to lead a quiet and regular life.... +I suffer from palpitations, I’m excitable and always getting awfully +upset.... At this very moment my lips are trembling, and there’s a +twitch in my right eyebrow.... But the very worst of all is the way +I sleep. I no sooner get into bed and begin to go off when suddenly +something in my left side--gives a pull, and I can feel it in my +shoulder and head.... I jump up like a lunatic, walk about a bit, and +lie down again, but as soon as I begin to get off to sleep there’s +another pull! And this may happen twenty times.... + +[NATALYA STEPANOVNA comes in.] + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. Well, there! It’s you, and papa said, “Go; there’s a +merchant come for his goods.” How do you do, Ivan Vassilevitch! + +LOMOV. How do you do, honoured Natalya Stepanovna? + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. You must excuse my apron and négligé... we’re +shelling peas for drying. Why haven’t you been here for such a long +time? Sit down. [They seat themselves] Won’t you have some lunch? + +LOMOV. No, thank you, I’ve had some already. + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. Then smoke.... Here are the matches.... The weather +is splendid now, but yesterday it was so wet that the workmen didn’t +do anything all day. How much hay have you stacked? Just think, I felt +greedy and had a whole field cut, and now I’m not at all pleased about +it because I’m afraid my hay may rot. I ought to have waited a bit. But +what’s this? Why, you’re in evening dress! Well, I never! Are you going +to a ball, or what?--though I must say you look better. Tell me, why are +you got up like that? + +LOMOV. [Excited] You see, honoured Natalya Stepanovna... the fact is, +I’ve made up my mind to ask you to hear me out.... Of course you’ll be +surprised and perhaps even angry, but a... [Aside] It’s awfully cold! + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. What’s the matter? [Pause] Well? + +LOMOV. I shall try to be brief. You must know, honoured Natalya +Stepanovna, that I have long, since my childhood, in fact, had the +privilege of knowing your family. My late aunt and her husband, from +whom, as you know, I inherited my land, always had the greatest respect +for your father and your late mother. The Lomovs and the Chubukovs +have always had the most friendly, and I might almost say the most +affectionate, regard for each other. And, as you know, my land is a near +neighbour of yours. You will remember that my Oxen Meadows touch your +birchwoods. + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. Excuse my interrupting you. You say, “my Oxen +Meadows....” But are they yours? + +LOMOV. Yes, mine. + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. What are you talking about? Oxen Meadows are ours, +not yours! + +LOMOV. No, mine, honoured Natalya Stepanovna. + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. Well, I never knew that before. How do you make that +out? + +LOMOV. How? I’m speaking of those Oxen Meadows which are wedged in +between your birchwoods and the Burnt Marsh. + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. Yes, yes.... They’re ours. + +LOMOV. No, you’re mistaken, honoured Natalya Stepanovna, they’re mine. + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. Just think, Ivan Vassilevitch! How long have they +been yours? + +LOMOV. How long? As long as I can remember. + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. Really, you won’t get me to believe that! + +LOMOV. But you can see from the documents, honoured Natalya Stepanovna. +Oxen Meadows, it’s true, were once the subject of dispute, but now +everybody knows that they are mine. There’s nothing to argue about. +You see, my aunt’s grandmother gave the free use of these Meadows in +perpetuity to the peasants of your father’s grandfather, in return for +which they were to make bricks for her. The peasants belonging to your +father’s grandfather had the free use of the Meadows for forty years, +and had got into the habit of regarding them as their own, when it +happened that... + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. No, it isn’t at all like that! Both my grandfather +and great-grandfather reckoned that their land extended to Burnt +Marsh--which means that Oxen Meadows were ours. I don’t see what there +is to argue about. It’s simply silly! + +LOMOV. I’ll show you the documents, Natalya Stepanovna! + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. No, you’re simply joking, or making fun of me.... +What a surprise! We’ve had the land for nearly three hundred years, and +then we’re suddenly told that it isn’t ours! Ivan Vassilevitch, I can +hardly believe my own ears.... These Meadows aren’t worth much to me. +They only come to five dessiatins [Note: 13.5 acres], and are worth +perhaps 300 roubles [Note: £30.], but I can’t stand unfairness. Say what +you will, but I can’t stand unfairness. + +LOMOV. Hear me out, I implore you! The peasants of your father’s +grandfather, as I have already had the honour of explaining to you, used +to bake bricks for my aunt’s grandmother. Now my aunt’s grandmother, +wishing to make them a pleasant... + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. I can’t make head or tail of all this about aunts +and grandfathers and grandmothers! The Meadows are ours, and that’s all. + +LOMOV. Mine. + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. Ours! You can go on proving it for two days on end, +you can go and put on fifteen dress-jackets, but I tell you they’re +ours, ours, ours! I don’t want anything of yours and I don’t want to +give up anything of mine. So there! + +LOMOV. Natalya Ivanovna, I don’t want the Meadows, but I am acting on +principle. If you like, I’ll make you a present of them. + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. I can make you a present of them myself, because +they’re mine! Your behaviour, Ivan Vassilevitch, is strange, to say the +least! Up to this we have always thought of you as a good neighbour, a +friend: last year we lent you our threshing-machine, although on that +account we had to put off our own threshing till November, but you +behave to us as if we were gipsies. Giving me my own land, indeed! +No, really, that’s not at all neighbourly! In my opinion, it’s even +impudent, if you want to know.... + +LOMOV. Then you make out that I’m a land-grabber? Madam, never in my +life have I grabbed anybody else’s land, and I shan’t allow anybody to +accuse me of having done so.... [Quickly steps to the carafe and drinks +more water] Oxen Meadows are mine! + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. It’s not true, they’re ours! + +LOMOV. Mine! + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. It’s not true! I’ll prove it! I’ll send my mowers +out to the Meadows this very day! + +LOMOV. What? + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. My mowers will be there this very day! + +LOMOV. I’ll give it to them in the neck! + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. You dare! + +LOMOV. [Clutches at his heart] Oxen Meadows are mine! You understand? +Mine! + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. Please don’t shout! You can shout yourself hoarse in +your own house, but here I must ask you to restrain yourself! + +LOMOV. If it wasn’t, madam, for this awful, excruciating palpitation, +if my whole inside wasn’t upset, I’d talk to you in a different way! +[Yells] Oxen Meadows are mine! + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. Ours! + +LOMOV. Mine! + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. Ours! + +LOMOV. Mine! + +[Enter CHUBUKOV.] + +CHUBUKOV. What’s the matter? What are you shouting at? + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. Papa, please tell to this gentleman who owns Oxen +Meadows, we or he? + +CHUBUKOV. [To LOMOV] Darling, the Meadows are ours! + +LOMOV. But, please, Stepan Stepanitch, how can they be yours? Do be a +reasonable man! My aunt’s grandmother gave the Meadows for the temporary +and free use of your grandfather’s peasants. The peasants used the land +for forty years and got as accustomed to it as if it was their own, when +it happened that... + +CHUBUKOV. Excuse me, my precious.... You forget just this, that the +peasants didn’t pay your grandmother and all that, because the Meadows +were in dispute, and so on. And now everybody knows that they’re ours. +It means that you haven’t seen the plan. + +LOMOV. I’ll prove to you that they’re mine! + +CHUBUKOV. You won’t prove it, my darling. + +LOMOV. I shall! + +CHUBUKOV. Dear one, why yell like that? You won’t prove anything just +by yelling. I don’t want anything of yours, and don’t intend to give up +what I have. Why should I? And you know, my beloved, that if you propose +to go on arguing about it, I’d much sooner give up the meadows to the +peasants than to you. There! + +LOMOV. I don’t understand! How have you the right to give away somebody +else’s property? + +CHUBUKOV. You may take it that I know whether I have the right or not. +Because, young man, I’m not used to being spoken to in that tone of +voice, and so on: I, young man, am twice your age, and ask you to speak +to me without agitating yourself, and all that. + +LOMOV. No, you just think I’m a fool and want to have me on! You call +my land yours, and then you want me to talk to you calmly and politely! +Good neighbours don’t behave like that, Stepan Stepanitch! You’re not a +neighbour, you’re a grabber! + +CHUBUKOV. What’s that? What did you say? + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. Papa, send the mowers out to the Meadows at once! + +CHUBUKOV. What did you say, sir? + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. Oxen Meadows are ours, and I shan’t give them up, +shan’t give them up, shan’t give them up! + +LOMOV. We’ll see! I’ll have the matter taken to court, and then I’ll +show you! + +CHUBUKOV. To court? You can take it to court, and all that! You can! I +know you; you’re just on the look-out for a chance to go to court, and +all that.... You pettifogger! All your people were like that! All of +them! + +LOMOV. Never mind about my people! The Lomovs have all been honourable +people, and not one has ever been tried for embezzlement, like your +grandfather! + +CHUBUKOV. You Lomovs have had lunacy in your family, all of you! + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. All, all, all! + +CHUBUKOV. Your grandfather was a drunkard, and your younger aunt, +Nastasya Mihailovna, ran away with an architect, and so on. + +LOMOV. And your mother was hump-backed. [Clutches at his heart] +Something pulling in my side.... My head.... Help! Water! + +CHUBUKOV. Your father was a guzzling gambler! + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. And there haven’t been many backbiters to equal your +aunt! + +LOMOV. My left foot has gone to sleep.... You’re an intriguer.... Oh, +my heart!... And it’s an open secret that before the last elections you +bri... I can see stars.... Where’s my hat? + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. It’s low! It’s dishonest! It’s mean! + +CHUBUKOV. And you’re just a malicious, double-faced intriguer! Yes! + +LOMOV. Here’s my hat.... My heart!... Which way? Where’s the door? +Oh!... I think I’m dying.... My foot’s quite numb.... [Goes to the +door.] + +CHUBUKOV. [Following him] And don’t set foot in my house again! + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. Take it to court! We’ll see! + +[LOMOV staggers out.] + +CHUBUKOV. Devil take him! [Walks about in excitement.] + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. What a rascal! What trust can one have in one’s +neighbours after that! + +CHUBUKOV. The villain! The scarecrow! + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. The monster! First he takes our land and then he has +the impudence to abuse us. + +CHUBUKOV. And that blind hen, yes, that turnip-ghost has the confounded +cheek to make a proposal, and so on! What? A proposal! + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. What proposal? + +CHUBUKOV. Why, he came here so as to propose to you. + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. To propose? To me? Why didn’t you tell me so before? + +CHUBUKOV. So he dresses up in evening clothes. The stuffed sausage! The +wizen-faced frump! + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. To propose to me? Ah! [Falls into an easy-chair and +wails] Bring him back! Back! Ah! Bring him here. + +CHUBUKOV. Bring whom here? + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. Quick, quick! I’m ill! Fetch him! [Hysterics.] + +CHUBUKOV. What’s that? What’s the matter with you? [Clutches at his +head] Oh, unhappy man that I am! I’ll shoot myself! I’ll hang myself! +We’ve done for her! + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. I’m dying! Fetch him! + +CHUBUKOV. Tfoo! At once. Don’t yell! + +[Runs out. A pause. NATALYA STEPANOVNA wails.] + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. What have they done to me! Fetch him back! Fetch +him! [A pause.] + +[CHUBUKOV runs in.] + +CHUBUKOV. He’s coming, and so on, devil take him! Ouf! Talk to him +yourself; I don’t want to.... + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. [Wails] Fetch him! + +CHUBUKOV. [Yells] He’s coming, I tell you. Oh, what a burden, Lord, +to be the father of a grown-up daughter! I’ll cut my throat! I will, +indeed! We cursed him, abused him, drove him out, and it’s all you... +you! + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. No, it was you! + +CHUBUKOV. I tell you it’s not my fault. [LOMOV appears at the door] Now +you talk to him yourself [Exit.] + +[LOMOV enters, exhausted.] + +LOMOV. My heart’s palpitating awfully.... My foot’s gone to sleep.... +There’s something keeps pulling in my side. + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. Forgive us, Ivan Vassilevitch, we were all a little +heated.... I remember now: Oxen Meadows really are yours. + +LOMOV. My heart’s beating awfully.... My Meadows.... My eyebrows are +both twitching.... + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. The Meadows are yours, yes, yours.... Do sit +down.... [They sit] We were wrong.... + +LOMOV. I did it on principle.... My land is worth little to me, but the +principle... + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. Yes, the principle, just so.... Now let’s talk of +something else. + +LOMOV. The more so as I have evidence. My aunt’s grandmother gave the +land to your father’s grandfather’s peasants... + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. Yes, yes, let that pass.... [Aside] I wish I knew +how to get him started.... [Aloud] Are you going to start shooting soon? + +LOMOV. I’m thinking of having a go at the blackcock, honoured Natalya +Stepanovna, after the harvest. Oh, have you heard? Just think, what a +misfortune I’ve had! My dog Guess, whom you know, has gone lame. + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. What a pity! Why? + +LOMOV. I don’t know.... Must have got twisted, or bitten by some other +dog.... [Sighs] My very best dog, to say nothing of the expense. I gave +Mironov 125 roubles for him. + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. It was too much, Ivan Vassilevitch. + +LOMOV. I think it was very cheap. He’s a first-rate dog. + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. Papa gave 85 roubles for his Squeezer, and Squeezer +is heaps better than Guess! + +LOMOV. Squeezer better than. Guess? What an idea! [Laughs] Squeezer +better than Guess! + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. Of course he’s better! Of course, Squeezer is +young, he may develop a bit, but on points and pedigree he’s better than +anything that even Volchanetsky has got. + +LOMOV. Excuse me, Natalya Stepanovna, but you forget that he is +overshot, and an overshot always means the dog is a bad hunter! + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. Overshot, is he? The first time I hear it! + +LOMOV. I assure you that his lower jaw is shorter than the upper. + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. Have you measured? + +LOMOV. Yes. He’s all right at following, of course, but if you want him +to get hold of anything... + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. In the first place, our Squeezer is a thoroughbred +animal, the son of Harness and Chisels, while there’s no getting at +the pedigree of your dog at all.... He’s old and as ugly as a worn-out +cab-horse. + +LOMOV. He is old, but I wouldn’t take five Squeezers for him.... Why, +how can you?... Guess is a dog; as for Squeezer, well, it’s too funny to +argue.... Anybody you like has a dog as good as Squeezer... you may find +them under every bush almost. Twenty-five roubles would be a handsome +price to pay for him. + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. There’s some demon of contradiction in you to-day, +Ivan Vassilevitch. First you pretend that the Meadows are yours; now, +that Guess is better than Squeezer. I don’t like people who don’t say +what they mean, because you know perfectly well that Squeezer is a +hundred times better than your silly Guess. Why do you want to say it +isn’t? + +LOMOV. I see, Natalya Stepanovna, that you consider me either blind or a +fool. You must realize that Squeezer is overshot! + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. It’s not true. + +LOMOV. He is! + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. It’s not true! + +LOMOV. Why shout, madam? + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. Why talk rot? It’s awful! It’s time your Guess was +shot, and you compare him with Squeezer! + +LOMOV. Excuse me; I cannot continue this discussion: my heart is +palpitating. + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. I’ve noticed that those hunters argue most who know +least. + +LOMOV. Madam, please be silent.... My heart is going to pieces.... +[Shouts] Shut up! + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. I shan’t shut up until you acknowledge that Squeezer +is a hundred times better than your Guess! + +LOMOV. A hundred times worse! Be hanged to your Squeezer! His head... +eyes... shoulder... + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. There’s no need to hang your silly Guess; he’s +half-dead already! + +LOMOV. [Weeps] Shut up! My heart’s bursting! + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. I shan’t shut up. + +[Enter CHUBUKOV.] + +CHUBUKOV. What’s the matter now? + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. Papa, tell us truly, which is the better dog, our +Squeezer or his Guess. + +LOMOV. Stepan Stepanovitch, I implore you to tell me just one thing: is +your Squeezer overshot or not? Yes or no? + +CHUBUKOV. And suppose he is? What does it matter? He’s the best dog in +the district for all that, and so on. + +LOMOV. But isn’t my Guess better? Really, now? + +CHUBUKOV. Don’t excite yourself, my precious one.... Allow me.... Your +Guess certainly has his good points.... He’s pure-bred, firm on his +feet, has well-sprung ribs, and all that. But, my dear man, if you want +to know the truth, that dog has two defects: he’s old and he’s short in +the muzzle. + +LOMOV. Excuse me, my heart.... Let’s take the facts.... You will +remember that on the Marusinsky hunt my Guess ran neck-and-neck with the +Count’s dog, while your Squeezer was left a whole verst behind. + +CHUBUKOV. He got left behind because the Count’s whipper-in hit him with +his whip. + +LOMOV. And with good reason. The dogs are running after a fox, when +Squeezer goes and starts worrying a sheep! + +CHUBUKOV. It’s not true!... My dear fellow, I’m very liable to lose my +temper, and so, just because of that, let’s stop arguing. You started +because everybody is always jealous of everybody else’s dogs. Yes, we’re +all like that! You too, sir, aren’t blameless! You no sooner notice that +some dog is better than your Guess than you begin with this, that... and +the other... and all that.... I remember everything! + +LOMOV. I remember too! + +CHUBUKOV. [Teasing him] I remember, too.... What do you remember? + +LOMOV. My heart... my foot’s gone to sleep.... I can’t... + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. [Teasing] My heart.... What sort of a hunter are +you? You ought to go and lie on the kitchen oven and catch blackbeetles, +not go after foxes! My heart! + +CHUBUKOV. Yes really, what sort of a hunter are you, anyway? You ought +to sit at home with your palpitations, and not go tracking animals. You +could go hunting, but you only go to argue with people and interfere +with their dogs and so on. Let’s change the subject in case I lose my +temper. You’re not a hunter at all, anyway! + +LOMOV. And are you a hunter? You only go hunting to get in with the +Count and to intrigue.... Oh, my heart!... You’re an intriguer! + +CHUBUKOV. What? I an intriguer? [Shouts] Shut up! + +LOMOV. Intriguer! + +CHUBUKOV. Boy! Pup! + +LOMOV. Old rat! Jesuit! + +CHUBUKOV. Shut up or I’ll shoot you like a partridge! You fool! + +LOMOV. Everybody knows that--oh my heart!--your late wife used to beat +you.... My feet... temples... sparks.... I fall, I fall! + +CHUBUKOV. And you’re under the slipper of your housekeeper! + +LOMOV. There, there, there... my heart’s burst! My shoulder’s come +off.... Where is my shoulder? I die. [Falls into an armchair] A doctor! +[Faints.] + +CHUBUKOV. Boy! Milksop! Fool! I’m sick! [Drinks water] Sick! + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. What sort of a hunter are you? You can’t even sit on +a horse! [To her father] Papa, what’s the matter with him? Papa! Look, +papa! [Screams] Ivan Vassilevitch! He’s dead! + +CHUBUKOV. I’m sick!... I can’t breathe!... Air! + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. He’s dead. [Pulls LOMOV’S sleeve] Ivan Vassilevitch! +Ivan Vassilevitch! What have you done to me? He’s dead. [Falls into an +armchair] A doctor, a doctor! [Hysterics.] + +CHUBUKOV. Oh!... What is it? What’s the matter? + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. [Wails] He’s dead... dead! + +CHUBUKOV. Who’s dead? [Looks at LOMOV] So he is! My word! Water! A +doctor! [Lifts a tumbler to LOMOV’S mouth] Drink this!... No, he doesn’t +drink.... It means he’s dead, and all that.... I’m the most unhappy of +men! Why don’t I put a bullet into my brain? Why haven’t I cut my throat +yet? What am I waiting for? Give me a knife! Give me a pistol! [LOMOV +moves] He seems to be coming round.... Drink some water! That’s +right.... + +LOMOV. I see stars... mist.... Where am I? + +CHUBUKOV. Hurry up and get married and--well, to the devil with you! +She’s willing! [He puts LOMOV’S hand into his daughter’s] She’s willing +and all that. I give you my blessing and so on. Only leave me in peace! + +LOMOV. [Getting up] Eh? What? To whom? + +CHUBUKOV. She’s willing! Well? Kiss and be damned to you! + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. [Wails] He’s alive... Yes, yes, I’m willing.... + +CHUBUKOV. Kiss each other! + +LOMOV. Eh? Kiss whom? [They kiss] Very nice, too. Excuse me, what’s +it all about? Oh, now I understand... my heart... stars... I’m happy. +Natalya Stepanovna.... [Kisses her hand] My foot’s gone to sleep.... + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. I... I’m happy too.... + +CHUBUKOV. What a weight off my shoulders.... Ouf! + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. But... still you will admit now that Guess is worse +than Squeezer. + +LOMOV. Better! + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. Worse! + +CHUBUKOV. Well, that’s a way to start your family bliss! Have some +champagne! + +LOMOV. He’s better! + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. Worse! worse! worse! + +CHUBUKOV. [Trying to shout her down] Champagne! Champagne! + +Curtain. + + + + + +THE WEDDING + + +CHARACTERS + + EVDOKIM ZAHAROVITCH ZHIGALOV, a retired Civil Servant. + NASTASYA TIMOFEYEVNA, his wife + DASHENKA, their daughter + EPAMINOND MAXIMOVITCH APLOMBOV, Dashenka’s bridegroom + FYODOR YAKOVLEVITCH REVUNOV-KARAULOV, a retired captain + ANDREY ANDREYEVITCH NUNIN, an insurance agent + ANNA MARTINOVNA ZMEYUKINA, a midwife, aged 30, in a brilliantly red dress + IVAN MIHAILOVITCH YATS, a telegraphist + HARLAMPI SPIRIDONOVITCH DIMBA, a Greek confectioner + DMITRI STEPANOVITCH MOZGOVOY, a sailor of the Imperial Navy (Volunteer + Fleet) + GROOMSMEN, GENTLEMEN, WAITERS, ETC. + +The scene is laid in one of the rooms of Andronov’s Restaurant + + +[A brilliantly illuminated room. A large table, laid for supper. Waiters +in dress-jackets are fussing round the table. An orchestra behind the +scene is playing the music of the last figure of a quadrille.] + +[ANNA MARTINOVNA ZMEYUKINA, YATS, and a GROOMSMAN cross the stage.] + +ZMEYUKINA. No, no, no! + +YATS. [Following her] Have pity on us! Have pity! + +ZMEYUKINA. No, no, no! + +GROOMSMAN. [Chasing them] You can’t go on like this! Where are you off +to? What about the _grand ronde? Grand ronde, s’il vous plait_! [They +all go off.] + +[Enter NASTASYA TIMOFEYEVNA and APLOMBOV.] + +NASTASYA TIMOFEYEVNA. You had much better be dancing than upsetting me +with your speeches. + +APLOMBOV. I’m not a Spinosa or anybody of that sort, to go making +figures-of-eight with my legs. I am a serious man, and I have a +character, and I see no amusement in empty pleasures. But it isn’t just +a matter of dances. You must excuse me, maman, but there is a good deal +in your behaviour which I am unable to understand. For instance, in +addition to objects of domestic importance, you promised also to give +me, with your daughter, two lottery tickets. Where are they? + +NASTASYA TIMOFEYEVNA. My head’s aching a little... I expect it’s on +account of the weather.... If only it thawed! + +APLOMBOV. You won’t get out of it like that. I only found out to-day +that those tickets are in pawn. You must excuse me, _maman_, but +it’s only swindlers who behave like that. I’m not doing this out of +egoisticism [Note: So in the original]--I don’t want your tickets--but +on principle; and I don’t allow myself to be done by anybody. I have +made your daughter happy, and if you don’t give me the tickets to-day +I’ll make short work of her. I’m an honourable man! + +NASTASYA TIMOFEYEVNA. [Looks round the table and counts up the covers] +One, two, three, four, five... + +A WAITER. The cook asks if you would like the ices served with rum, +madeira, or by themselves? + +APLOMBOV. With rum. And tell the manager that there’s not enough wine. +Tell him to prepare some more Haut Sauterne. [To NASTASYA TIMOFEYEVNA] +You also promised and agreed that a general was to be here to supper. +And where is he? + +NASTASYA TIMOFEYEVNA. That isn’t my fault, my dear. + +APLOMBOV. Whose fault, then? + +NASTASYA TIMOFEYEVNA. It’s Andrey Andreyevitch’s fault.... Yesterday he +came to see us and promised to bring a perfectly real general. [Sighs] I +suppose he couldn’t find one anywhere, or he’d have brought him.... +You think we don’t mind? We’d begrudge our child nothing. A general, of +course... + +APLOMBOV. But there’s more.... Everybody, including yourself, _maman_, +is aware of the fact that Yats, that telegraphist, was after Dashenka +before I proposed to her. Why did you invite him? Surely you knew it +would be unpleasant for me? + +NASTASYA TIMOFEYEVNA. Oh, how can you? Epaminond Maximovitch was married +himself only the other day, and you’ve already tired me and Dashenka out +with your talk. What will you be like in a year’s time? You are horrid, +really horrid. + +APLOMBOV. Then you don’t like to hear the truth? Aha! Oh, oh! Then +behave honourably. I only want you to do one thing, be honourable! + +[Couples dancing the _grand ronde_ come in at one door and out at the +other end. The first couple are DASHENKA with one of the GROOMSMEN. The +last are YATS and ZMEYUKINA. These two remain behind. ZHIGALOV and DIMBA +enter and go up to the table.] + +GROOMSMAN. [Shouting] Promenade! Messieurs, promenade! [Behind] +Promenade! + +[The dancers have all left the scene.] + +YATS. [To ZMEYUKINA] Have pity! Have pity, adorable Anna Martinovna. + +ZMEYUKINA. Oh, what a man!... I’ve already told you that I’ve no voice +to-day. + +YATS. I implore you to sing! Just one note! Have pity! Just one note! + +ZMEYUKINA. I’m tired of you.... [Sits and fans herself.] + +YATS. No, you’re simply heartless! To be so cruel--if I may express +myself--and to have such a beautiful, beautiful voice! With such +a voice, if you will forgive my using the word, you shouldn’t be a +midwife, but sing at concerts, at public gatherings! For example, how +divinely you do that _fioritura_... that... [Sings] “I loved you; love +was vain then....” Exquisite! + +ZMEYUKINA. [Sings] “I loved you, and may love again.” Is that it? + +YATS. That’s it! Beautiful! + +ZMEYUKINA. No, I’ve no voice to-day.... There, wave this fan for +me... it’s hot! [To APLOMBOV] Epaminond Maximovitch, why are you so +melancholy? A bridegroom shouldn’t be! Aren’t you ashamed of yourself, +you wretch? Well, what are you so thoughtful about? + +APLOMBOV. Marriage is a serious step! Everything must be considered from +all sides, thoroughly. + +ZMEYUKINA. What beastly sceptics you all are! I feel quite suffocated +with you all around.... Give me atmosphere! Do you hear? Give me +atmosphere! [Sings a few notes.] + +YATS. Beautiful! Beautiful! + +ZMEYUKINA. Fan me, fan me, or I feel I shall have a heart attack in a +minute. Tell me, please, why do I feel so suffocated? + +YATS. It’s because you’re sweating.... + +ZMEYUKINA. Foo, how vulgar you are! Don’t dare to use such words! + +YATS. Beg pardon! Of course, you’re used, if I may say so, to +aristocratic society and.... + +ZMEYUKINA. Oh, leave me alone! Give me poetry, delight! Fan me, fan me! + +ZHIGALOV. [To DIMBA] Let’s have another, what? [Pours out] One can +always drink. So long only, Harlampi Spiridonovitch, as one doesn’t +forget one’s business. Drink and be merry.... And if you can drink at +somebody else’s expense, then why not drink? You can drink.... Your +health! [They drink] And do you have tigers in Greece? + +DIMBA. Yes. + +ZHIGALOV. And lions? + +DIMBA. And lions too. In Russia zere’s nussing, and in Greece zere’s +everysing--my fazer and uncle and brozeres--and here zere’s nussing. + +ZHIGALOV. H’m.... And are there whales in Greece? + +DIMBA. Yes, everysing. + +NASTASYA TIMOFEYEVNA. [To her husband] What are they all eating and +drinking like that for? It’s time for everybody to sit down to supper. +Don’t keep on shoving your fork into the lobsters.... They’re for the +general. He may come yet.... + +ZHIGALOV. And are there lobsters in Greece? + +DIMBA. Yes... zere is everysing. + +ZHIGALOV. Hm.... And Civil Servants. + +ZMEYUKINA. I can imagine what the atmosphere is like in Greece! + +ZHIGALOV. There must be a lot of swindling. The Greeks are just like the +Armenians or gipsies. They sell you a sponge or a goldfish and all the +time they are looking out for a chance of getting something extra out of +you. Let’s have another, what? + +NASTASYA TIMOFEYEVNA. What do you want to go on having another for? It’s +time everybody sat down to supper. It’s past eleven. + +ZHIGALOV. If it’s time, then it’s time. Ladies and gentlemen, please! +[Shouts] Supper! Young people! + +NASTASYA TIMOFEYEVNA. Dear visitors, please be seated! + +ZMEYUKINA. [Sitting down at the table] Give me poetry. + + “And he, the rebel, seeks the storm, + As if the storm can give him peace.” + +Give me the storm! + +YATS. [Aside] Wonderful woman! I’m in love! Up to my ears! + +[Enter DASHENKA, MOZGOVOY, GROOMSMEN, various ladies and gentlemen, +etc. They all noisily seat themselves at the table. There is a minute’s +pause, while the band plays a march.] + +MOZGOVOY. [Rising] Ladies and gentlemen! I must tell you this.... We are +going to have a great many toasts and speeches. Don’t let’s wait, but +begin at once. Ladies and gentlemen, the newly married! + +[The band plays a flourish. Cheers. Glasses are touched. APLOMBOV and +DASHENKA kiss each other.] + +YATS. Beautiful! Beautiful! I must say, ladies and gentlemen, giving +honour where it is due, that this room and the accommodation generally +are splendid! Excellent, wonderful! Only you know, there’s one thing +we haven’t got--electric light, if I may say so! Into every country +electric light has already been introduced, only Russia lags behind. + +ZHIGALOV. [Meditatively] Electricity... h’m.... In my opinion electric +lighting is just a swindle.... They put a live coal in and think you +don’t see them! No, if you want a light, then you don’t take a coal, but +something real, something special, that you can get hold of! You must +have a fire, you understand, which is natural, not just an invention! + +YATS. If you’d ever seen an electric battery, and how it’s made up, +you’d think differently. + +ZHIGALOV. Don’t want to see one. It’s a swindle, a fraud on the +public.... They want to squeeze our last breath out of us.... We know +then, these... And, young man, instead of defending a swindle, you would +be much better occupied if you had another yourself and poured out some +for other people--yes! + +APLOMBOV. I entirely agree with you, papa. Why start a learned +discussion? I myself have no objection to talking about every possible +scientific discovery, but this isn’t the time for all that! [To +DASHENKA] What do you think, _ma chère_? + +DASHENKA. They want to show how educated they are, and so they always +talk about things we can’t understand. + +NASTASYA TIMOFEYEVNA. Thank God, we’ve lived our time without being +educated, and here we are marrying off our third daughter to an honest +man. And if you think we’re uneducated, then what do you want to come +here for? Go to your educated friends! + +YATS. I, Nastasya Timofeyevna, have always held your family in respect, +and if I did start talking about electric lighting it doesn’t mean that +I’m proud. I’ll drink, to show you. I have always sincerely wished Daria +Evdokimovna a good husband. In these days, Nastasya Timofeyevna, it is +difficult to find a good husband. Nowadays everybody is on the look-out +for a marriage where there is profit, money.... + +APLOMBOV. That’s a hint! + +YATS. [His courage failing] I wasn’t hinting at anything.... Present +company is always excepted.... I was only in general.... Please! +Everybody knows that you’re marrying for love... the dowry is quite +trifling. + +NASTASYA TIMOFEYEVNA. No, it isn’t trifling! You be careful what you +say. Besides a thousand roubles of good money, we’re giving three +dresses, the bed, and all the furniture. You won’t find another dowry +like that in a hurry! + +YATS. I didn’t mean... The furniture’s splendid, of course, and... and +the dresses, but I never hinted at what they are getting offended at. + +NASTASYA TIMOFEYEVNA. Don’t you go making hints. We respect you on +account of your parents, and we’ve invited you to the wedding, and here +you go talking. If you knew that Epaminond Maximovitch was marrying for +profit, why didn’t you say so before? [Tearfully] I brought her up, +I fed her, I nursed her.... I cared for her more than if she was an +emerald jewel, my little girl.... + +APLOMBOV. And you go and believe him? Thank you so much! I’m very +grateful to you! [To YATS] And as for you, Mr. Yats, although you are +acquainted with me, I shan’t allow you to behave like this in another’s +house. Please get out of this! + +YATS. What do you mean? + +APLOMBOV. I want you to be as straightforward as I am! In short, please +get out! [Band plays a flourish] + +THE GENTLEMEN. Leave him alone! Sit down! Is it worth it! Let him be! +Stop it now! + +YATS. I never... I... I don’t understand.... Please, I’ll go.... Only +you first give me the five roubles which you borrowed from me last year +on the strength of a _piqué_ waistcoat, if I may say so. Then I’ll just +have another drink and... go, only give me the money first. + +VARIOUS GENTLEMEN. Sit down! That’s enough! Is it worth it, just for +such trifles? + +A GROOMSMAN. [Shouts] The health of the bride’s parents, Evdokim +Zaharitch and Nastasya Timofeyevna! [Band plays a flourish. Cheers.] + +ZHIGALOV. [Bows in all directions, in great emotion] I thank you! Dear +guests! I am very grateful to you for not having forgotten and for +having conferred this honour upon us without being standoffish And you +must not think that I’m a rascal, or that I’m trying to swindle anybody. +I’m speaking from my heart--from the purity of my soul! I wouldn’t deny +anything to good people! We thank you very humbly! [Kisses.] + +DASHENKA. [To her mother] Mama, why are you crying? I’m so happy! + +APLOMBOV. _Maman_ is disturbed at your coming separation. But I should +advise her rather to remember the last talk we had. + +YATS. Don’t cry, Nastasya Timofeyevna! Just think what are human tears, +anyway? Just petty psychiatry, and nothing more! + +ZMEYUKINA. And are there any red-haired men in Greece? + +DIMBA. Yes, everysing is zere. + +ZHIGALOV. But you don’t have our kinds of mushroom. + +DIMBA. Yes, we’ve got zem and everysing. + +MOZGOVOY. Harlampi Spiridonovitch, it’s your turn to speak! Ladies and +gentlemen, a speech! + +ALL. [To DIMBA] Speech! speech! Your turn! + +DIMBA. Why? I don’t understand.... What is it! + +ZMEYUKINA. No, no! You can’t refuse! It’s you turn! Get up! + +DIMBA. [Gets up, confused] I can’t say what... Zere’s Russia and zere’s +Greece. Zere’s people in Russia and people in Greece.... And zere’s +people swimming the sea in karavs, which mean sips, and people on +the land in railway trains. I understand. We are Greeks and you are +Russians, and I want nussing.... I can tell you... zere’s Russia and +zere’s Greece... + +[Enter NUNIN.] + +NUNIN. Wait, ladies and gentlemen, don’t eat now! Wait! Just one minute, +Nastasya Timofeyevna! Just come here, if you don’t mind! [Takes NASTASYA +TIMOFEYEVNA aside, puffing] Listen... The General’s coming... I +found one at last.... I’m simply worn out.... A real General, a solid +one--old, you know, aged perhaps eighty, or even ninety. + +NASTASYA TIMOFEYEVNA. When is he coming? + +NUNIN. This minute. You’ll be grateful to me all your life. [Note: A +few lines have been omitted: they refer to the “General’s” rank and +its civil equivalent in words for which the English language has +no corresponding terms. The “General” is an ex-naval officer, a +second-class captain.] + +NASTASYA TIMOFEYEVNA. You’re not deceiving me, Andrey darling? + +NUNIN. Well, now, am I a swindler? You needn’t worry! + +NASTASYA TIMOFEYEVNA. [Sighs] One doesn’t like to spend money for +nothing, Andrey darling! + +NUNIN. Don’t you worry! He’s not a general, he’s a dream! [Raises his +voice] I said to him: “You’ve quite forgotten us, your Excellency! +It isn’t kind of your Excellency to forget your old friends! Nastasya +Timofeyevna,” I said to him, “she’s very annoyed with you about it!” + [Goes and sits at the table] And he says to me: “But, my friend, how can +I go when I don’t know the bridegroom?” “Oh, nonsense, your excellency, +why stand on ceremony? The bridegroom,” I said to him, “he’s a fine +fellow, very free and easy. He’s a valuer,” I said, “at the Law courts, +and don’t you think, your excellency, that he’s some rascal, some knave +of hearts. Nowadays,” I said to him, “even decent women are employed at +the Law courts.” He slapped me on the shoulder, we smoked a Havana cigar +each, and now he’s coming.... Wait a little, ladies and gentlemen, don’t +eat.... + +APLOMBOV. When’s he coming? + +NUNIN. This minute. When I left him he was already putting on his +goloshes. Wait a little, ladies and gentlemen, don’t eat yet. + +APLOMBOV. The band should be told to play a march. + +NUNIN. [Shouts] Musicians! A march! [The band plays a march for a +minute.] + +A WAITER. Mr. Revunov-Karaulov! + +[ZHIGALOV, NASTASYA TIMOFEYEVNA, and NUNIN run to meet him. Enter +REVUNOV-KARAULOV.] + +NASTASYA TIMOFEYEVNA. [Bowing] Please come in, your excellency! So glad +you’ve come! + +REVUNOV. Awfully! + +ZHIGALOV. We, your excellency, aren’t celebrities, we aren’t important, +but quite ordinary, but don’t think on that account that there’s any +fraud. We put good people into the best place, we begrudge nothing. +Please! + +REVUNOV. Awfully glad! + +NUNIN. Let me introduce to you, your excellency, the bridegroom, +Epaminond Maximovitch Aplombov, with his newly born... I mean his newly +married wife! Ivan Mihailovitch Yats, employed on the telegraph! A +foreigner of Greek nationality, a confectioner by trade, Harlampi +Spiridonovitch Dimba! Osip Lukitch Babelmandebsky! And so on, and so +on.... The rest are just trash. Sit down, your excellency! + +REVUNOV. Awfully! Excuse me, ladies and gentlemen, I just want to say +two words to Andrey. [Takes NUNIN aside] I say, old man, I’m a little +put out.... Why do you call me your excellency? I’m not a general! I +don’t rank as the equivalent of a colonel, even. + +NUNIN. [Whispers] I know, only, Fyodor Yakovlevitch, be a good man +and let us call you your excellency! The family here, you see, is +patriarchal; it respects the aged, it likes rank. + +REVUNOV. Oh, if it’s like that, very well.... [Goes to the table] +Awfully! + +NASTASYA TIMOFEYEVNA. Sit down, your excellency! Be so good as to have +some of this, your excellency! Only forgive us for not being used to +etiquette; we’re plain people! + +REVUNOV. [Not hearing] What? Hm... yes. [Pause] Yes.... In the old days +everybody used to live simply and was happy. In spite of my rank, I am +a man who lives plainly. To-day Andrey comes to me and asks me to come +here to the wedding. “How shall I go,” I said, “when I don’t know them? +It’s not good manners!” But he says: “They are good, simple, patriarchal +people, glad to see anybody.” Well, if that’s the case... why not? +Very glad to come. It’s very dull for me at home by myself, and if my +presence at a wedding can make anybody happy, then I’m delighted to be +here.... + +ZHIGALOV. Then that’s sincere, is it, your excellency? I respect that! +I’m a plain man myself, without any deception, and I respect others who +are like that. Eat, your excellency! + +APLOMBOV. Is it long since you retired, your excellency? + +REVUNOV. Eh? Yes, yes.... Quite true.... Yes. But, excuse me, what +is this? The fish is sour... and the bread is sour. I can’t eat this! +[APLOMBOV and DASHENKA kiss each other] He, he, he... Your health! +[Pause] Yes.... In the old days everything was simple and everybody was +glad.... I love simplicity.... I’m an old man. I retired in 1865. I’m +72. Yes, of course, in my younger days it was different, but--[Sees +MOZGOVOY] You there... a sailor, are you? + +MOZGOVOY. Yes, just so. + +REVUNOV. Aha, so... yes. The navy means hard work. There’s a lot to +think about and get a headache over. Every insignificant word has, so +to speak, its special meaning! For instance, “Hoist her top-sheets +and mainsail!” What’s it mean? A sailor can tell! He, he!--With almost +mathematical precision! + +NUNIN. The health of his excellency Fyodor Yakovlevitch +Revunov-Karaulov! [Band plays a flourish. Cheers.] + +YATS. You, your excellency, have just expressed yourself on the subject +of the hard work involved in a naval career. But is telegraphy any +easier? Nowadays, your excellency, nobody is appointed to the telegraphs +if he cannot read and write French and German. But the transmission of +telegrams is the most difficult thing of all. Awfully difficult! Just +listen. + +[Taps with his fork on the table, like a telegraphic transmitter.] + +REVUNOV. What does that mean? + +YATS. It means, “I honour you, your excellency, for your virtues.” You +think it’s easy? Listen now. [Taps.] + +REVUNOV. Louder; I can’t hear.... + +YATS. That means, “Madam, how happy I am to hold you in my embraces!” + +REVUNOV. What madam are you talking about? Yes.... [To MOZGOVOY] Yes, if +there’s a head-wind you must... let’s see... you must hoist your foretop +halyards and topsail halyards! The order is: “On the cross-trees to +the foretop halyards and topsail halyards” and at the same time, as +the sails get loose, you take hold underneath of the foresail and +fore-topsail halyards, stays and braces. + +A GROOMSMAN. [Rising] Ladies and gentlemen... + +REVUNOV. [Cutting him short] Yes... there are a great many orders to +give. “Furl the fore-topsail and the foretop-gallant sail!!” Well, +what does that mean? It’s very simple! It means that if the top and +top-gallant sails are lifting the halyards, they must level the foretop +and foretop-gallant halyards on the hoist and at the same time the +top-gallants braces, as needed, are loosened according to the direction +of the wind... + +NUNIN. [To REVUNOV] Fyodor Yakovlevitch, Mme. Zhigalov asks you to +talk about something else. It’s very dull for the guests, who can’t +understand.... + +REVUNOV. What? Who’s dull? [To MOZGOVOY] Young man! Now suppose the ship +is lying by the wind, on the starboard tack, under full sail, and you’ve +got to bring her before the wind. What’s the order? Well, first you +whistle up above! He, he! + +NUNIN. Fyodor Yakovlevitch, that’s enough. Eat something. + +REVUNOV. As soon as the men are on deck you give the order, “To your +places!” What a life! You give orders, and at the same time you’ve +got to keep your eyes on the sailors, who run about like flashes of +lightning and get the sails and braces right. And at last you can’t +restrain yourself, and you shout, “Good children!” [He chokes and +coughs.] + +A GROOMSMAN. [Making haste to use the ensuing pause to advantage] On +this occasion, so to speak, on the day on which we have met together to +honour our dear... + +REVUNOV. [Interrupting] Yes, you’ve got to remember all that! For +instance, “Hoist the topsail halyards. Lower the topsail gallants!” + +THE GROOMSMAN. [Annoyed] Why does he keep on interrupting? We shan’t get +through a single speech like that! + +NASTASYA TIMOFEYEVNA. We are dull people, your excellency, and don’t +understand a word of all that, but if you were to tell us something +appropriate... + +REVUNOV. [Not hearing] I’ve already had supper, thank you. Did you say +there was goose? Thanks... yes. I’ve remembered the old days.... It’s +pleasant, young man! You sail on the sea, you have no worries, and [In +an excited tone of voice] do you remember the joy of tacking? Is there a +sailor who doesn’t glow at the memory of that manoeuvre? As soon as the +word is given and the whistle blown and the crew begins to go up--it’s +as if an electric spark has run through them all. From the captain to +the cabin-boy, everybody’s excited. + +ZMEYUKINA. How dull! How dull! [General murmur.] + +REVUNOV. [Who has not heard it properly] Thank you, I’ve had supper. +[With enthusiasm] Everybody’s ready, and looks to the senior officer. +He gives the command: “Stand by, gallants and topsail braces on the +starboard side, main and counter-braces to port!” Everything’s done in +a twinkling. Top-sheets and jib-sheets are pulled... taken to starboard. +[Stands up] The ship takes the wind and at last the sails fill out. The +senior officer orders, “To the braces,” and himself keeps his eye on the +mainsail, and when at last this sail is filling out and the ship begins +to turn, he yells at the top of his voice, “Let go the braces! Loose the +main halyards!” Everything flies about, there’s a general confusion for +a moment--and everything is done without an error. The ship has been +tacked! + +NASTASYA TIMOFEYEVNA. [Exploding] General, your manners.... You ought to +be ashamed of yourself, at your age! + +REVUNOV. Did you say sausage? No, I haven’t had any... thank you. + +NASTASYA TIMOFEYEVNA. [Loudly] I say you ought to be ashamed of yourself +at your age! General, your manners are awful! + +NUNIN. [Confused] Ladies and gentlemen, is it worth it? Really... + +REVUNOV. In the first place, I’m not a general, but a second-class naval +captain, which, according to the table of precedence, corresponds to a +lieutenant-colonel. + +NASTASYA TIMOFEYEVNA. If you’re not a general, then what did you go and +take our money for? We never paid you money to behave like that! + +REVUNOV. [Upset] What money? + +NASTASYA TIMOFEYEVNA. You know what money. You know that you got 25 +roubles from Andrey Andreyevitch.... [To NUNIN] And you look out, +Andrey! I never asked you to hire a man like that! + +NUNIN. There now... let it drop. Is it worth it? + +REVUNOV. Paid... hired.... What is it? + +APLOMBOV. Just let me ask you this. Did you receive 25 roubles from +Andrey Andreyevitch? + +REVUNOV. What 25 roubles? [Suddenly realizing] That’s what it is! Now I +understand it all.... How mean! How mean! + +APLOMBOV. Did you take the money? + +REVUNOV. I haven’t taken any money! Get away from me! [Leaves the table] +How mean! How low! To insult an old man, a sailor, an officer who has +served long and faithfully! If you were decent people I could call +somebody out, but what can I do now? [Absently] Where’s the door? Which +way do I go? Waiter, show me the way out! Waiter! [Going] How mean! How +low! [Exit.] + +NASTASYA TIMOFEYEVNA. Andrey, where are those 25 roubles? + +NUNIN. Is it worth while bothering about such trifles? What does it +matter! Everybody’s happy here, and here you go.... [Shouts] The health +of the bride and bridegroom! A march! A march! [The band plays a march] +The health of the bride and bridegroom! + +ZMEYUKINA. I’m suffocating! Give me atmosphere! I’m suffocating with you +all round me! + +YATS. [In a transport of delight] My beauty! My beauty! [Uproar.] + +A GROOMSMAN. [Trying to shout everybody else down] Ladies and gentlemen! +On this occasion, if I may say so... + +Curtain. + + + + + +THE BEAR + + +CHARACTERS + + ELENA IVANOVNA POPOVA, a landowning little widow, with dimples on her + cheeks + GRIGORY STEPANOVITCH SMIRNOV, a middle-aged landowner + LUKA, Popova’s aged footman + + +[A drawing-room in POPOVA’S house.] + +[POPOVA is in deep mourning and has her eyes fixed on a photograph. LUKA +is haranguing her.] + +LUKA. It isn’t right, madam.... You’re just destroying yourself. The +maid and the cook have gone off fruit picking, every living being is +rejoicing, even the cat understands how to enjoy herself and walks about +in the yard, catching midges; only you sit in this room all day, as if +this was a convent, and don’t take any pleasure. Yes, really! I reckon +it’s a whole year that you haven’t left the house! + +POPOVA. I shall never go out.... Why should I? My life is already at an +end. He is in his grave, and I have buried myself between four walls.... +We are both dead. + +LUKA. Well, there you are! Nicolai Mihailovitch is dead, well, it’s the +will of God, and may his soul rest in peace.... You’ve mourned him--and +quite right. But you can’t go on weeping and wearing mourning for ever. +My old woman died too, when her time came. Well? I grieved over her, I +wept for a month, and that’s enough for her, but if I’ve got to weep +for a whole age, well, the old woman isn’t worth it. [Sighs] You’ve +forgotten all your neighbours. You don’t go anywhere, and you see +nobody. We live, so to speak, like spiders, and never see the light. +The mice have eaten my livery. It isn’t as if there were no good people +around, for the district’s full of them. There’s a regiment quartered at +Riblov, and the officers are such beauties--you can never gaze your fill +at them. And, every Friday, there’s a ball at the camp, and every day +the soldier’s band plays.... Eh, my lady! You’re young and beautiful, +with roses in your cheek--if you only took a little pleasure. Beauty +won’t last long, you know. In ten years’ time you’ll want to be a +pea-hen yourself among the officers, but they won’t look at you, it will +be too late. + +POPOVA. [With determination] I must ask you never to talk to me about +it! You know that when Nicolai Mihailovitch died, life lost all its +meaning for me. I vowed never to the end of my days to cease to wear +mourning, or to see the light.... You hear? Let his ghost see how well I +love him.... Yes, I know it’s no secret to you that he was often unfair +to me, cruel, and... and even unfaithful, but I shall be true till +death, and show him how I can love. There, beyond the grave, he will see +me as I was before his death.... + +LUKA. Instead of talking like that you ought to go and have a walk in +the garden, or else order Toby or Giant to be harnessed, and then drive +out to see some of the neighbours. + +POPOVA. Oh! [Weeps.] + +LUKA. Madam! Dear madam! What is it? Bless you! + +POPOVA. He was so fond of Toby! He always used to ride on him to the +Korchagins and Vlasovs. How well he could ride! What grace there was +in his figure when he pulled at the reins with all his strength! Do you +remember? Toby, Toby! Tell them to give him an extra feed of oats. + +LUKA. Yes, madam. [A bell rings noisily.] + +POPOVA. [Shaking] Who’s that? Tell them that I receive nobody. + +LUKA. Yes, madam. [Exit.] + +POPOVA. [Looks at the photograph] You will see, Nicolas, how I can love +and forgive.... My love will die out with me, only when this poor heart +will cease to beat. [Laughs through her tears] And aren’t you ashamed? +I am a good and virtuous little wife. I’ve locked myself in, and will +be true to you till the grave, and you... aren’t you ashamed, you bad +child? You deceived me, had rows with me, left me alone for weeks on +end.... + +[LUKA enters in consternation.] + +LUKA. Madam, somebody is asking for you. He wants to see you.... + +POPOVA. But didn’t you tell him that since the death of my husband I’ve +stopped receiving? + +LUKA. I did, but he wouldn’t even listen; says that it’s a very pressing +affair. + +POPOVA. I do not re-ceive! + +LUKA. I told him so, but the... the devil... curses and pushes himself +right in.... He’s in the dining-room now. + +POPOVA. [Annoyed] Very well, ask him in.... What manners! [Exit LUKA] +How these people annoy me! What does he want of me? Why should he +disturb my peace? [Sighs] No, I see that I shall have to go into a +convent after all. [Thoughtfully] Yes, into a convent.... [Enter LUKA +with SMIRNOV.] + +SMIRNOV. [To LUKA] You fool, you’re too fond of talking.... Ass! [Sees +POPOVA and speaks with respect] Madam, I have the honour to present +myself, I am Grigory Stepanovitch Smirnov, landowner and retired +lieutenant of artillery! I am compelled to disturb you on a very +pressing affair. + +POPOVA. [Not giving him her hand] What do you want? + +SMIRNOV. Your late husband, with whom I had the honour of being +acquainted, died in my debt for one thousand two hundred roubles, on +two bills of exchange. As I’ve got to pay the interest on a mortgage +to-morrow, I’ve come to ask you, madam, to pay me the money to-day. + +POPOVA. One thousand two hundred.... And what was my husband in debt to +you for? + +SMIRNOV. He used to buy oats from me. + +POPOVA. [Sighing, to LUKA] So don’t you forget, Luka, to give Toby an +extra feed of oats. [Exit LUKA] If Nicolai Mihailovitch died in debt to +you, then I shall certainly pay you, but you must excuse me to-day, as I +haven’t any spare cash. The day after to-morrow my steward will be back +from town, and I’ll give him instructions to settle your account, but +at the moment I cannot do as you wish.... Moreover, it’s exactly seven +months to-day since the death of my husband, and I’m in a state of mind +which absolutely prevents me from giving money matters my attention. + +SMIRNOV. And I’m in a state of mind which, if I don’t pay the interest +due to-morrow, will force me to make a graceful exit from this life feet +first. They’ll take my estate! + +POPOVA. You’ll have your money the day after to-morrow. + +SMIRNOV. I don’t want the money the day after tomorrow, I want it +to-day. + +POPOVA. You must excuse me, I can’t pay you. + +SMIRNOV. And I can’t wait till after to-morrow. + +POPOVA. Well, what can I do, if I haven’t the money now! + +SMIRNOV. You mean to say, you can’t pay me? + +POPOVA. I can’t. + +SMIRNOV. Hm! Is that the last word you’ve got to say? + +POPOVA. Yes, the last word. + +SMIRNOV. The last word? Absolutely your last? + +POPOVA. Absolutely. + +SMIRNOV. Thank you so much. I’ll make a note of it. [Shrugs his +shoulders] And then people want me to keep calm! I meet a man on +the road, and he asks me “Why are you always so angry, Grigory +Stepanovitch?” But how on earth am I not to get angry? I want the money +desperately. I rode out yesterday, early in the morning, and called on +all my debtors, and not a single one of them paid up! I was just about +dead-beat after it all, slept, goodness knows where, in some inn, kept +by a Jew, with a vodka-barrel by my head. At last I get here, seventy +versts from home, and hope to get something, and I am received by you +with a “state of mind”! How shouldn’t I get angry. + +POPOVA. I thought I distinctly said my steward will pay you when he +returns from town. + +SMIRNOV. I didn’t come to your steward, but to you! What the devil, +excuse my saying so, have I to do with your steward! + +POPOVA. Excuse me, sir, I am not accustomed to listen to such +expressions or to such a tone of voice. I want to hear no more. [Makes a +rapid exit.] + +SMIRNOV. Well, there! “A state of mind.”... “Husband died seven months +ago!” Must I pay the interest, or mustn’t I? I ask you: Must I pay, +or must I not? Suppose your husband is dead, and you’ve got a state +of mind, and nonsense of that sort.... And your steward’s gone away +somewhere, devil take him, what do you want me to do? Do you think I can +fly away from my creditors in a balloon, or what? Or do you expect me +to go and run my head into a brick wall? I go to Grusdev and he isn’t at +home, Yaroshevitch has hidden himself, I had a violent row with Kuritsin +and nearly threw him out of the window, Mazugo has something the matter +with his bowels, and this woman has “a state of mind.” Not one of the +swine wants to pay me! Just because I’m too gentle with them, because +I’m a rag, just weak wax in their hands! I’m much too gentle with them! +Well, just you wait! You’ll find out what I’m like! I shan’t let you +play about with me, confound it! I shall jolly well stay here until she +pays! Brr!... How angry I am to-day, how angry I am! All my inside is +quivering with anger, and I can’t even breathe.... Foo, my word, I even +feel sick! [Yells] Waiter! + +[Enter LUKA.] + +LUKA. What is it? + +SMIRNOV. Get me some kvass or water! [Exit LUKA] What a way to reason! A +man is in desperate need of his money, and she won’t pay it because, +you see, she is not disposed to attend to money matters!... That’s real +silly feminine logic. That’s why I never did like, and don’t like now, +to have to talk to women. I’d rather sit on a barrel of gunpowder than +talk to a woman. Brr!... I feel quite chilly--and it’s all on account of +that little bit of fluff! I can’t even see one of these poetic creatures +from a distance without breaking out into a cold sweat out of sheer +anger. I can’t look at them. [Enter LUKA with water.] + +LUKA. Madam is ill and will see nobody. + +SMIRNOV. Get out! [Exit LUKA] Ill and will see nobody! No, it’s all +right, you don’t see me.... I’m going to stay and will sit here till you +give me the money. You can be ill for a week, if you like, and I’ll stay +here for a week.... If you’re ill for a year--I’ll stay for a year. +I’m going to get my own, my dear! You don’t get at me with your widow’s +weeds and your dimpled cheeks! I know those dimples! [Shouts through the +window] Simeon, take them out! We aren’t going away at once! I’m staying +here! Tell them in the stable to give the horses some oats! You +fool, you’ve let the near horse’s leg get tied up in the reins again! +[Teasingly] “Never mind....” I’ll give it you. “Never mind.” [Goes away +from the window] Oh, it’s bad.... The heat’s frightful, nobody pays up. +I slept badly, and on top of everything else here’s a bit of fluff in +mourning with “a state of mind.”... My head’s aching.... Shall I have +some vodka, what? Yes, I think I will. [Yells] Waiter! + +[Enter LUKA.] + +LUKA. What is it? + +SMIRNOV. A glass of vodka! [Exit LUKA] Ouf! [Sits and inspects himself] +I must say I look well! Dust all over, boots dirty, unwashed, unkempt, +straw on my waistcoat.... The dear lady may well have taken me for a +brigand. [Yawns] It’s rather impolite to come into a drawing-room in +this state, but it can’t be helped.... I am not here as a visitor, +but as a creditor, and there’s no dress specially prescribed for +creditors.... + +[Enter LUKA with the vodka.] + +LUKA. You allow yourself to go very far, sir.... + +SMIRNOV [Angrily] What? + +LUKA. I... er... nothing... I really... + +SMIRNOV. Whom are you talking to? Shut up! + +LUKA. [Aside] The devil’s come to stay.... Bad luck that brought him.... +[Exit.] + +SMIRNOV. Oh, how angry I am! So angry that I think I could grind the +whole world to dust.... I even feel sick.... [Yells] Waiter! + +[Enter POPOVA.] + +POPOVA. [Her eyes downcast] Sir, in my solitude I have grown +unaccustomed to the masculine voice, and I can’t stand shouting. I must +ask you not to disturb my peace. + +SMIRNOV. Pay me the money, and I’ll go. + +POPOVA. I told you perfectly plainly; I haven’t any money to spare; wait +until the day after to-morrow. + +SMIRNOV. And I told you perfectly plainly I don’t want the money the day +after to-morrow, but to-day. If you don’t pay me to-day, I’ll have to +hang myself to-morrow. + +POPOVA. But what can I do if I haven’t got the money? You’re so strange! + +SMIRNOV. Then you won’t pay me now? Eh? + +POPOVA. I can’t. + +SMIRNOV. In that case I stay here and shall wait until I get it. [Sits +down] You’re going to pay me the day after to-morrow? Very well! I’ll +stay here until the day after to-morrow. I’ll sit here all the time.... +[Jumps up] I ask you: Have I got to pay the interest to-morrow, or +haven’t I? Or do you think I’m doing this for a joke? + +POPOVA. Please don’t shout! This isn’t a stable! + +SMIRNOV. I wasn’t asking you about a stable, but whether I’d got my +interest to pay to-morrow or not? + +POPOVA. You don’t know how to behave before women! + +SMIRNOV. No, I do know how to behave before women! + +POPOVA. No, you don’t! You’re a rude, ill-bred man! Decent people don’t +talk to a woman like that! + +SMIRNOV. What a business! How do you want me to talk to you? In French, +or what? [Loses his temper and lisps] _Madame, je vous prie_.... How +happy I am that you don’t pay me.... Ah, pardon. I have disturbed you! +Such lovely weather to-day! And how well you look in mourning! [Bows.] + +POPOVA. That’s silly and rude. + +SMIRNOV. [Teasing her] Silly and rude! I don’t know how to behave before +women! Madam, in my time I’ve seen more women than you’ve seen sparrows! +Three times I’ve fought duels on account of women. I’ve refused twelve +women, and nine have refused me! Yes! There was a time when I played the +fool, scented myself, used honeyed words, wore jewellery, made beautiful +bows. I used to love, to suffer, to sigh at the moon, to get sour, to +thaw, to freeze.... I used to love passionately, madly, every blessed +way, devil take me; I used to chatter like a magpie about emancipation, +and wasted half my wealth on tender feelings, but now--you must excuse +me! You won’t get round me like that now! I’ve had enough! Black eyes, +passionate eyes, ruby lips, dimpled cheeks, the moon, whispers, timid +breathing--I wouldn’t give a brass farthing for the lot, madam! Present +company always excepted, all women, great or little, are insincere, +crooked, backbiters, envious, liars to the marrow of their bones, vain, +trivial, merciless, unreasonable, and, as far as this is concerned [taps +his forehead] excuse my outspokenness, a sparrow can give ten points to +any philosopher in petticoats you like to name! You look at one of +these poetic creatures: all muslin, an ethereal demi-goddess, you have a +million transports of joy, and you look into her soul--and see a common +crocodile! [He grips the back of a chair; the chair creaks and breaks] +But the most disgusting thing of all is that this crocodile for some +reason or other imagines that its chef d’oeuvre, its privilege and +monopoly, is its tender feelings. Why, confound it, hang me on that nail +feet upwards, if you like, but have you met a woman who can love anybody +except a lapdog? When she’s in love, can she do anything but snivel and +slobber? While a man is suffering and making sacrifices all her love +expresses itself in her playing about with her scarf, and trying to hook +him more firmly by the nose. You have the misfortune to be a woman, you +know from yourself what is the nature of woman. Tell me truthfully, +have you ever seen a woman who was sincere, faithful, and constant? You +haven’t! Only freaks and old women are faithful and constant! You’ll +meet a cat with a horn or a white woodcock sooner than a constant woman! + +POPOVA. Then, according to you, who is faithful and constant in love? Is +it the man? + +SMIRNOV. Yes, the man! + +POPOVA. The man! [Laughs bitterly] Men are faithful and constant in +love! What an idea! [With heat] What right have you to talk like that? +Men are faithful and constant! Since we are talking about it, I’ll +tell you that of all the men I knew and know, the best was my late +husband.... I loved him passionately with all my being, as only a young +and imaginative woman can love, I gave him my youth, my happiness, my +life, my fortune, I breathed in him, I worshipped him as if I were a +heathen, and... and what then? This best of men shamelessly deceived me +at every step! After his death I found in his desk a whole drawerful +of love-letters, and when he was alive--it’s an awful thing to +remember!--he used to leave me alone for weeks at a time, and make love +to other women and betray me before my very eyes; he wasted my money, +and made fun of my feelings.... And, in spite of all that, I loved him +and was true to him. And not only that, but, now that he is dead, I +am still true and constant to his memory. I have shut myself for ever +within these four walls, and will wear these weeds to the very end.... + +SMIRNOV. [Laughs contemptuously] Weeds!... I don’t understand what you +take me for. As if I don’t know why you wear that black domino and bury +yourself between four walls! I should say I did! It’s so mysterious, so +poetic! When some junker [Note: So in the original.] or some tame poet +goes past your windows he’ll think: “There lives the mysterious Tamara +who, for the love of her husband, buried herself between four walls.” We +know these games! + +POPOVA. [Exploding] What? How dare you say all that to me? + +SMIRNOV. You may have buried yourself alive, but you haven’t forgotten +to powder your face! + +POPOVA. How dare you speak to me like that? + +SMIRNOV. Please don’t shout, I’m not your steward! You must allow me to +call things by their real names. I’m not a woman, and I’m used to saying +what I think straight out! Don’t you shout, either! + +POPOVA. I’m not shouting, it’s you! Please leave me alone! + +SMIRNOV. Pay me my money and I’ll go. + +POPOVA. I shan’t give you any money! + +SMIRNOV. Oh, no, you will. + +POPOVA. I shan’t give you a farthing, just to spite you. You leave me +alone! + +SMIRNOV. I have not the pleasure of being either your husband or your +fiancé, so please don’t make scenes. [Sits] I don’t like it. + +POPOVA. [Choking with rage] So you sit down? + +SMIRNOV. I do. + +POPOVA. I ask you to go away! + +SMIRNOV. Give me my money.... [Aside] Oh, how angry I am! How angry I +am! + +POPOVA. I don’t want to talk to impudent scoundrels! Get out of this! +[Pause] Aren’t you going? No? + +SMIRNOV. No. + +POPOVA. No? + +SMIRNOV. No! + +POPOVA. Very well then! [Rings, enter LUKA] Luka, show this gentleman +out! + +LUKA. [Approaches SMIRNOV] Would you mind going out, sir, as you’re +asked to! You needn’t... + +SMIRNOV. [Jumps up] Shut up! Who are you talking to? I’ll chop you into +pieces! + +LUKA. [Clutches at his heart] Little fathers!... What people!... [Falls +into a chair] Oh, I’m ill, I’m ill! I can’t breathe! + +POPOVA. Where’s Dasha? Dasha! [Shouts] Dasha! Pelageya! Dasha! [Rings.] + +LUKA. Oh! They’ve all gone out to pick fruit.... There’s nobody at home! +I’m ill! Water! + +POPOVA. Get out of this, now. + +SMIRNOV. Can’t you be more polite? + +POPOVA. [Clenches her fists and stamps her foot] You’re a boor! A coarse +bear! A Bourbon! A monster! + +SMIRNOV. What? What did you say? + +POPOVA. I said you are a bear, a monster! + +SMIRNOV. [Approaching her] May I ask what right you have to insult me? + +POPOVA. And suppose I am insulting you? Do you think I’m afraid of you? + +SMIRNOV. And do you think that just because you’re a poetic creature you +can insult me with impunity? Eh? We’ll fight it out! + +LUKA. Little fathers!... What people!... Water! + +SMIRNOV. Pistols! + +POPOVA. Do you think I’m afraid of you just because you have large fists +and a bull’s throat? Eh? You Bourbon! + +SMIRNOV. We’ll fight it out! I’m not going to be insulted by anybody, +and I don’t care if you are a woman, one of the “softer sex,” indeed! + +POPOVA. [Trying to interrupt him] Bear! Bear! Bear! + +SMIRNOV. It’s about time we got rid of the prejudice that only men need +pay for their insults. Devil take it, if you want equality of rights you +can have it. We’re going to fight it out! + +POPOVA. With pistols? Very well! + +SMIRNOV. This very minute. + +POPOVA. This very minute! My husband had some pistols.... I’ll bring +them here. [Is going, but turns back] What pleasure it will give me to +put a bullet into your thick head! Devil take you! [Exit.] + +SMIRNOV. I’ll bring her down like a chicken! I’m not a little boy or a +sentimental puppy; I don’t care about this “softer sex.” + +LUKA. Gracious little fathers!... [Kneels] Have pity on a poor old man, +and go away from here! You’ve frightened her to death, and now you want +to shoot her! + +SMIRNOV. [Not hearing him] If she fights, well that’s equality of +rights, emancipation, and all that! Here the sexes are equal! I’ll shoot +her on principle! But what a woman! [Parodying her] “Devil take you! +I’ll put a bullet into your thick head.” Eh? How she reddened, how her +cheeks shone!... She accepted my challenge! My word, it’s the first time +in my life that I’ve seen.... + +LUKA. Go away, sir, and I’ll always pray to God for you! + +SMIRNOV. She is a woman! That’s the sort I can understand! A real woman! +Not a sour-faced jellybag, but fire, gunpowder, a rocket! I’m even sorry +to have to kill her! + +LUKA. [Weeps] Dear... dear sir, do go away! + +SMIRNOV. I absolutely like her! Absolutely! Even though her cheeks are +dimpled, I like her! I’m almost ready to let the debt go... and I’m not +angry any longer.... Wonderful woman! + +[Enter POPOVA with pistols.] + +POPOVA. Here are the pistols.... But before we fight you must show me +how to fire. I’ve never held a pistol in my hands before. + +LUKA. Oh, Lord, have mercy and save her.... I’ll go and find the +coachman and the gardener.... Why has this infliction come on us.... +[Exit.] + +SMIRNOV. [Examining the pistols] You see, there are several sorts of +pistols.... There are Mortimer pistols, specially made for duels, they +fire a percussion-cap. These are Smith and Wesson revolvers, triple +action, with extractors.... These are excellent pistols. They can’t cost +less than ninety roubles the pair.... You must hold the revolver like +this.... [Aside] Her eyes, her eyes! What an inspiring woman! + +POPOVA. Like this? + +SMIRNOV. Yes, like this.... Then you cock the trigger, and take aim like +this.... Put your head back a little! Hold your arm out properly.... +Like that.... Then you press this thing with your finger--and that’s +all. The great thing is to keep cool and aim steadily.... Try not to +jerk your arm. + +POPOVA. Very well.... It’s inconvenient to shoot in a room, let’s go +into the garden. + +SMIRNOV. Come along then. But I warn you, I’m going to fire in the air. + +POPOVA. That’s the last straw! Why? + +SMIRNOV. Because... because... it’s my affair. + +POPOVA. Are you afraid? Yes? Ah! No, sir, you don’t get out of it! You +come with me! I shan’t have any peace until I’ve made a hole in your +forehead... that forehead which I hate so much! Are you afraid? + +SMIRNOV. Yes, I am afraid. + +POPOVA. You lie! Why won’t you fight? + +SMIRNOV. Because... because you... because I like you. + +POPOVA. [Laughs] He likes me! He dares to say that he likes me! [Points +to the door] That’s the way. + +SMIRNOV. [Loads the revolver in silence, takes his cap and goes to the +door. There he stops for half a minute, while they look at each other +in silence, then he hesitatingly approaches POPOVA] Listen.... Are you +still angry? I’m devilishly annoyed, too... but, do you understand... +how can I express myself?... The fact is, you see, it’s like this, so to +speak.... [Shouts] Well, is it my fault that I like you? [He snatches at +the back of a chair; the chair creaks and breaks] Devil take it, how I’m +smashing up your furniture! I like you! Do you understand? I... I almost +love you! + +POPOVA. Get away from me--I hate you! + +SMIRNOV. God, what a woman! I’ve never in my life seen one like her! I’m +lost! Done for! Fallen into a mousetrap, like a mouse! + +POPOVA. Stand back, or I’ll fire! + +SMIRNOV. Fire, then! You can’t understand what happiness it would be to +die before those beautiful eyes, to be shot by a revolver held in that +little, velvet hand.... I’m out of my senses! Think, and make up your +mind at once, because if I go out we shall never see each other again! +Decide now.... I am a landowner, of respectable character, have an +income of ten thousand a year. I can put a bullet through a coin tossed +into the air as it comes down.... I own some fine horses.... Will you be +my wife? + +POPOVA. [Indignantly shakes her revolver] Let’s fight! Let’s go out! + +SMIRNOV. I’m mad.... I understand nothing. [Yells] Waiter, water! + +POPOVA. [Yells] Let’s go out and fight! + +SMIRNOV. I’m off my head, I’m in love like a boy, like a fool! [Snatches +her hand, she screams with pain] I love you! [Kneels] I love you as I’ve +never loved before! I’ve refused twelve women, nine have refused me, +but I never loved one of them as I love you.... I’m weak, I’m wax, I’ve +melted.... I’m on my knees like a fool, offering you my hand.... Shame, +shame! I haven’t been in love for five years, I’d taken a vow, and now +all of a sudden I’m in love, like a fish out of water! I offer you my +hand. Yes or no? You don’t want me? Very well! [Gets up and quickly goes +to the door.] + +POPOVA. Stop. + +SMIRNOV. [Stops] Well? + +POPOVA. Nothing, go away.... No, stop.... No, go away, go away! I hate +you! Or no.... Don’t go away! Oh, if you knew how angry I am, how angry +I am! [Throws her revolver on the table] My fingers have swollen because +of all this.... [Tears her handkerchief in temper] What are you waiting +for? Get out! + +SMIRNOV. Good-bye. + +POPOVA. Yes, yes, go away!... [Yells] Where are you going? Stop.... No, +go away. Oh, how angry I am! Don’t come near me, don’t come near me! + +SMIRNOV. [Approaching her] How angry I am with myself! I’m in love like +a student, I’ve been on my knees.... [Rudely] I love you! What do I want +to fall in love with you for? To-morrow I’ve got to pay the interest, +and begin mowing, and here you.... [Puts his arms around her] I shall +never forgive myself for this.... + +POPOVA. Get away from me! Take your hands away! I hate you! Let’s go and +fight! + +[A prolonged kiss. Enter LUKA with an axe, the GARDENER with a rake, the +COACHMAN with a pitchfork, and WORKMEN with poles.] + +LUKA. [Catches sight of the pair kissing] Little fathers! [Pause.] + +POPOVA. [Lowering her eyes] Luka, tell them in the stables that Toby +isn’t to have any oats at all to-day. + +Curtain. + + + + + +A TRAGEDIAN IN SPITE OF HIMSELF + + +CHARACTERS + + IVAN IVANOVITCH TOLKACHOV, the father of a family + ALEXEY ALEXEYEVITCH MURASHKIN, his friend + +The scene is laid in St. Petersburg, in MURASHKIN’S flat + + +[MURASHKIN’S study. Comfortable furniture. MURASHKIN is seated at his +desk. Enter TOLKACHOV holding in his hands a glass globe for a lamp, +a toy bicycle, three hat-boxes, a large parcel containing a dress, a +bin-case of beer, and several little parcels. He looks round stupidly +and lets himself down on the sofa in exhaustion.] + +MURASHKIN. How do you do, Ivan Ivanovitch? Delighted to see you! What +brings you here? + +TOLKACHOV. [Breathing heavily] My dear good fellow... I want to ask +you something.... I implore you lend me a revolver till to-morrow. Be a +friend! + +MURASHKIN. What do you want a revolver for? + +TOLKACHOV. I must have it.... Oh, little fathers!... give me some +water... water quickly!... I must have it... I’ve got to go through a +dark wood to-night, so in case of accidents... do, please, lend it to +me. + +MURASHKIN. Oh, you liar, Ivan Ivanovitch! What the devil have you got to +do in a dark wood? I expect you are up to something. I can see by your +face that you are up to something. What’s the matter with you? Are you +ill? + +TOLKACHOV. Wait a moment, let me breathe.... Oh little mothers! I am +dog-tired. I’ve got a feeling all over me, and in my head as well, as if +I’ve been roasted on a spit. I can’t stand it any longer. Be a friend, +and don’t ask me any questions or insist on details; just give me the +revolver! I beseech you! + +MURASHKIN. Well, really! Ivan Ivanovitch, what cowardice is this? The +father of a family and a Civil Servant holding a responsible post! For +shame! + +TOLKACHOV. What sort of a father of a family am I! I am a martyr. I am +a beast of burden, a nigger, a slave, a rascal who keeps on waiting here +for something to happen instead of starting off for the next world. I am +a rag, a fool, an idiot. Why am I alive? What’s the use? [Jumps up] Well +now, tell me why am I alive? What’s the purpose of this uninterrupted +series of mental and physical sufferings? I understand being a martyr +to an idea, yes! But to be a martyr to the devil knows what, skirts and +lamp-globes, no! I humbly decline! No, no, no! I’ve had enough! Enough! + +MURASHKIN. Don’t shout, the neighbours will hear you! + +TOLKACHOV. Let your neighbours hear; it’s all the same to me! If you +don’t give me a revolver somebody else will, and there will be an end of +me anyway! I’ve made up my mind! + +MURASHKIN. Hold on, you’ve pulled off a button. Speak calmly. I still +don’t understand what’s wrong with your life. + +TOLKACHOV. What’s wrong? You ask me what’s wrong? Very well, I’ll tell +you! Very well! I’ll tell you everything, and then perhaps my soul will +be lighter. Let’s sit down. Now listen... Oh, little mothers, I am out +of breath!... Just let’s take to-day as an instance. Let’s take to-day. +As you know, I’ve got to work at the Treasury from ten to four. It’s +hot, it’s stuffy, there are flies, and, my dear fellow, the very dickens +of a chaos. The Secretary is on leave, Khrapov has gone to get married, +and the smaller fry is mostly in the country, making love or occupied +with amateur theatricals. Everybody is so sleepy, tired, and done up +that you can’t get any sense out of them. The Secretary’s duties are in +the hands of an individual who is deaf in the left ear and in love; the +public has lost its memory; everybody is running about angry and raging, +and there is such a hullabaloo that you can’t hear yourself speak. +Confusion and smoke everywhere. And my work is deathly: always the same, +always the same--first a correction, then a reference back, another +correction, another reference back; it’s all as monotonous as the waves +of the sea. One’s eyes, you understand, simply crawl out of one’s head. +Give me some water.... You come out a broken, exhausted man. You would +like to dine and fall asleep, but you don’t!--You remember that you live +in the country--that is, you are a slave, a rag, a bit of string, a bit +of limp flesh, and you’ve got to run round and do errands. Where we live +a pleasant custom has grown up: when a man goes to town every wretched +female inhabitant, not to mention one’s own wife, has the power and the +right to give him a crowd of commissions. The wife orders you to run +into the modiste’s and curse her for making a bodice too wide across the +chest and too narrow across the shoulders; little Sonya wants a new pair +of shoes; your sister-in-law wants some scarlet silk like the pattern +at twenty copecks and three arshins long.... Just wait; I’ll read you. +[Takes a note out of his pocket and reads] A globe for the lamp; one +pound of pork sausages; five copecks’ worth of cloves and cinnamon; +castor-oil for Misha; ten pounds of granulated sugar. To bring with you +from home: a copper jar for the sugar; carbolic acid; insect powder, ten +copecks’ worth; twenty bottles of beer; vinegar; and corsets for Mlle. +Shanceau at No. 82.... Ouf! And to bring home Misha’s winter coat and +goloshes. That is the order of my wife and family. Then there are +the commissions of our dear friends and neighbours--devil take them! +To-morrow is the name-day of Volodia Vlasin; I have to buy a bicycle +for him. The wife of Lieutenant-Colonel Virkhin is in an interesting +condition, and I am therefore bound to call in at the midwife’s every +day and invite her to come. And so on, and so on. There are five notes +in my pocket and my handkerchief is all knots. And so, my dear fellow, +you spend the time between your office and your train, running about the +town like a dog with your tongue hanging out, running and running and +cursing life. From the clothier’s to the chemist’s, from the chemist’s +to the modiste’s, from the modiste’s to the pork butcher’s, and then +back again to the chemist’s. In one place you stumble, in a second you +lose your money, in a third you forget to pay and they raise a hue and +cry after you, in a fourth you tread on the train of a lady’s dress.... +Tfoo! You get so shaken up from all this that your bones ache all night +and you dream of crocodiles. Well, you’ve made all your purchases, but +how are you to pack all these things? For instance, how are you to put a +heavy copper jar together with the lamp-globe or the carbolic acid with +the tea? How are you to make a combination of beer-bottles and this +bicycle? It’s the labours of Hercules, a puzzle, a rebus! Whatever +tricks you think of, in the long run you’re bound to smash or scatter +something, and at the station and in the train you have to stand with +your arms apart, holding up some parcel or other under your chin, with +parcels, cardboard boxes, and such-like rubbish all over you. The train +starts, the passengers begin to throw your luggage about on all sides: +you’ve got your things on somebody else’s seat. They yell, they call for +the conductor, they threaten to have you put out, but what can I do? I +just stand and blink my eyes like a whacked donkey. Now listen to this. +I get home. You think I’d like to have a nice little drink after my +righteous labours and a good square meal--isn’t that so?--but there is +no chance of that. My spouse has been on the look-out for me for some +time. You’ve hardly started on your soup when she has her claws into +you, wretched slave that you are--and wouldn’t you like to go to some +amateur theatricals or to a dance? You can’t protest. You are a husband, +and the word husband when translated into the language of summer +residents in the country means a dumb beast which you can load to +any extent without fear of the interference of the Society for the +Prevention of Cruelty to Animals. So you go and blink at “A Family +Scandal” or something, you applaud when your wife tells you to, and you +feel worse and worse and worse until you expect an apoplectic fit to +happen any moment. If you go to a dance you have to find partners +for your wife, and if there is a shortage of them then you dance the +quadrilles yourself. You get back from the theatre or the dance after +midnight, when you are no longer a man but a useless, limp rag. Well, +at last you’ve got what you want; you unrobe and get into bed. It’s +excellent--you can close your eyes and sleep.... Everything is so nice, +poetic, and warm, you understand; there are no children squealing +behind the wall, and you’ve got rid of your wife, and your conscience is +clear--what more can you want? You fall asleep--and suddenly... you +hear a buzz!... Gnats! [Jumps up] Gnats! Be they triply accursed Gnats! +[Shakes his fist] Gnats! It’s one of the plagues of Egypt, one of the +tortures of the Inquisition! Buzz! It sounds so pitiful, so pathetic, as +if it’s begging your pardon, but the villain stings so that you have +to scratch yourself for an hour after. You smoke, and go for them, and +cover yourself from head to foot, but it is no good! At last you have +to sacrifice yourself and let the cursed things devour you. You’ve no +sooner got used to the gnats when another plague begins: downstairs +your wife begins practising sentimental songs with her two friends. They +sleep by day and rehearse for amateur concerts by night. Oh, my God! +Those tenors are a torture with which no gnats on earth can compare. +[He sings] “Oh, tell me not my youth has ruined you.” “Before thee do I +stand enchanted.” Oh, the beastly things! They’ve about killed me! So +as to deafen myself a little I do this: I drum on my ears. This goes on +till four o’clock. Oh, give me some more water, brother!... I can’t... +Well, not having slept, you get up at six o’clock in the morning and +off you go to the station. You run so as not to be late, and it’s muddy, +foggy, cold--brr! Then you get to town and start all over again. So +there, brother. It’s a horrible life; I wouldn’t wish one like it for my +enemy. You understand--I’m ill! Got asthma, heartburn--I’m always afraid +of something. I’ve got indigestion, everything is thick before me... +I’ve become a regular psychopath.... [Looking round] Only, between +ourselves, I want to go down to see Chechotte or Merzheyevsky. There’s +some devil in me, brother. In moments of despair and suffering, when the +gnats are stinging or the tenors sing, everything suddenly grows dim; +you jump up and race round the whole house like a lunatic and shout, “I +want blood! Blood!” And really all the time you do want to let a knife +into somebody or hit him over the head with a chair. That’s what life +in a summer villa leads to! And nobody has any sympathy for me, and +everybody seems to think it’s all as it should be. People even laugh. +But understand, I am a living being and I want to live! This isn’t +farce, it’s tragedy! I say, if you don’t give me your revolver, you +might at any rate sympathize. + +MURASHKIN. I do sympathize. + +TOLKACHOV. I see how much you sympathize.... Good-bye. I’ve got to buy +some anchovies and some sausage... and some tooth-powder, and then to +the station. + +MURASHKIN. Where are you living? + +TOLKACHOV. At Carrion River. + +MURASHKIN. [Delighted] Really? Then you’ll know Olga Pavlovna Finberg, +who lives there? + +TOLKACHOV. I know her. We are even acquainted. + +MURASHKIN. How perfectly splendid! That’s so convenient, and it would be +so good of you... + +TOLKACHOV. What’s that? + +MURASHKIN. My dear fellow, wouldn’t you do one little thing for me? Be a +friend! Promise me now. + +TOLKACHOV. What’s that? + +MURASHKIN. It would be such a friendly action! I implore you, my dear +man. In the first place, give Olga Pavlovna my very kind regards. In the +second place, there’s a little thing I’d like you to take down to her. +She asked me to get a sewing-machine but I haven’t anybody to send it +down to her by.... You take it, my dear! And you might at the same time +take down this canary in its cage... only be careful, or you’ll break +the door.... What are you looking at me like that for? + +TOLKACHOV. A sewing-machine... a canary in a cage... siskins, +chaffinches... + +MURASHKIN. Ivan Ivanovitch, what’s the matter with you? Why are you +turning purple? + +TOLKACHOV. [Stamping] Give me the sewing-machine! Where’s the bird-cage? +Now get on top yourself! Eat me! Tear me to pieces! Kill me! [Clenching +his fists] I want blood! Blood! Blood! + +MURASHKIN. You’ve gone mad! + +TOLKACHOV. [Treading on his feet] I want blood! Blood! + +MURASHKIN. [In horror] He’s gone mad! [Shouts] Peter! Maria! Where are +you? Help! + +TOLKACHOV. [Chasing him round the room] I want blood! Blood! + +Curtain. + + + + + +THE ANNIVERSARY + + +CHARACTERS + + ANDREY ANDREYEVITCH SHIPUCHIN, Chairman of the N---- Joint Stock + Bank, a middle-aged man, with a monocle + TATIANA ALEXEYEVNA, his wife, aged 25 + KUSMA NICOLAIEVITCH KHIRIN, the bank’s aged book-keeper + NASTASYA FYODOROVNA MERCHUTKINA, an old woman wearing an old-fashioned + cloak + DIRECTORS OF THE BANK + EMPLOYEES OF THE BANK + +The action takes place at the Bank + + +[The private office of the Chairman of Directors. On the left is a door, +leading into the public department. There are two desks. The furniture +aims at a deliberately luxurious effect, with armchairs covered in +velvet, flowers, statues, carpets, and a telephone. It is midday. KHIRIN +is alone; he wears long felt boots, and is shouting through the door.] + +KHIRIN. Send out to the chemist for 15 copecks’ worth of valerian drops, +and tell them to bring some drinking water into the Directors’ office! +This is the hundredth time I’ve asked! [Goes to a desk] I’m absolutely +tired out. This is the fourth day I’ve been working, without a chance of +shutting my eyes. From morning to evening I work here, from evening to +morning at home. [Coughs] And I’ve got an inflammation all over me. +I’m hot and cold, and I cough, and my legs ache, and there’s something +dancing before my eyes. [Sits] Our scoundrel of a Chairman, the brute, +is going to read a report at a general meeting. “Our Bank, its Present +and Future.” You’d think he was a Gambetta.... [At work] Two... one... +one... six... nought... seven.... Next, six... nought... one... six.... +He just wants to throw dust into people’s eyes, and so I sit here and +work for him like a galley-slave! This report of his is poetic fiction +and nothing more, and here I’ve got to sit day after day and add +figures, devil take his soul! [Rattles on his counting-frame] I can’t +stand it! [Writing] That is, one... three... seven... two... one... +nought.... He promised to reward me for my work. If everything goes well +to-day and the public is properly put into blinkers, he’s promised me a +gold charm and 300 roubles bonus.... We’ll see. [Works] Yes, but if +my work all goes for nothing, then you’d better look out.... I’m very +excitable.... If I lose my temper I’m capable of committing some crime, +so look out! Yes! + +[Noise and applause behind the scenes. SHIPUCHIN’S voice: “Thank +you! Thank you! I am extremely grateful.” Enter SHIPUCHIN. He wears +a frockcoat and white tie; he carries an album which has been just +presented to him.] + +SHIPUCHIN. [At the door, addresses the outer office] This present, my +dear colleagues, will be preserved to the day of my death, as a memory +of the happiest days of my life! Yes, gentlemen! Once more, I thank you! +[Throws a kiss into the air and turns to KHIRIN] My dear, my respected +Kusma Nicolaievitch! + +[All the time that SHIPUCHIN is on the stage, clerks intermittently come +in with papers for his signature and go out.] + +KHIRIN. [Standing up] I have the honour to congratulate you, Andrey +Andreyevitch, on the fiftieth anniversary of our Bank, and hope that... + +SHIPUCHIN. [Warmly shakes hands] Thank you, my dear sir! Thank you! +I think that in view of the unique character of the day, as it is an +anniversary, we may kiss each other!... [They kiss] I am very, very +glad! Thank you for your service... for everything! If, in the course of +the time during which I have had the honour to be Chairman of this Bank +anything useful has been done, the credit is due, more than to anybody +else, to my colleagues. [Sighs] Yes, fifteen years! Fifteen years as my +name’s Shipuchin! [Changes his tone] Where’s my report? Is it getting +on? + +KHIRIN. Yes; there’s only five pages left. + +SHIPUCHIN. Excellent. Then it will be ready by three? + +KHIRIN. If nothing occurs to disturb me, I’ll get it done. Nothing of +any importance is now left. + +SHIPUCHIN. Splendid. Splendid, as my name’s Shipuchin! The general +meeting will be at four. If you please, my dear fellow. Give me the +first half, I’ll peruse it.... Quick.... [Takes the report] I base +enormous hopes on this report. It’s my _profession de foi_, or, better +still, my firework. [Note: The actual word employed.] My firework, as my +name’s Shipuchin! [Sits and reads the report to himself] I’m hellishly +tired.... My gout kept on giving me trouble last night, all the morning +I was running about, and then these excitements, ovations, agitations... +I’m tired! + +KHIRIN. Two... nought... nought... three... nine... two... nought. I +can’t see straight after all these figures.... Three... one... six... +four... one... five.... [Uses the counting-frame.] + +SHIPUCHIN. Another unpleasantness.... This morning your wife came to +see me and complained about you once again. Said that last night you +threatened her and her sister with a knife. Kusma Nicolaievitch, what do +you mean by that? Oh, oh! + +KHIRIN. [Rudely] As it’s an anniversary, Andrey Andreyevitch, I’ll ask +for a special favour. Please, even if it’s only out of respect for my +toil, don’t interfere in my family life. Please! + +SHIPUCHIN. [Sighs] Yours is an impossible character, Kusma +Nicolaievitch! You’re an excellent and respected man, but you behave to +women like some scoundrel. Yes, really. I don’t understand why you hate +them so? + +KHIRIN. I wish I could understand why you love them so! [Pause.] + +SHIPUCHIN. The employees have just presented me with an album; and the +Directors, as I’ve heard, are going to give me an address and a silver +loving-cup.... [Playing with his monocle] Very nice, as my name’s +Shipuchin! It isn’t excessive. A certain pomp is essential to the +reputation of the Bank, devil take it! You know everything, of +course.... I composed the address myself, and I bought the cup myself, +too.... Well, then there was 45 roubles for the cover of the address, +but you can’t do without that. They’d never have thought of it for +themselves. [Looks round] Look at the furniture! Just look at it! They +say I’m stingy, that all I want is that the locks on the doors should +be polished, that the employees should wear fashionable ties, and that +a fat hall-porter should stand by the door. No, no, sirs. Polished locks +and a fat porter mean a good deal. I can behave as I like at home, eat +and sleep like a pig, get drunk.... + +KHIRIN. Please don’t make hints. + +SHIPUCHIN. Nobody’s making hints! What an impossible character +yours is.... As I was saying, at home I can live like a tradesman, a +_parvenu_, and be up to any games I like, but here everything must be +_en grand_. This is a Bank! Here every detail must _imponiren_, so to +speak, and have a majestic appearance. [He picks up a paper from the +floor and throws it into the fireplace] My service to the Bank has been +just this--I’ve raised its reputation. A thing of immense importance is +tone! Immense, as my name’s Shipuchin! [Looks over KHIRIN] My dear man, +a deputation of shareholders may come here any moment, and there you are +in felt boots, wearing a scarf... in some absurdly coloured jacket.... +You might have put on a frock-coat, or at any rate a dark jacket.... + +KHIRIN. My health matters more to me than your shareholders. I’ve an +inflammation all over me. + +SHIPUCHIN. [Excitedly] But you will admit that it’s untidy! You spoil +the _ensemble_! + +KHIRIN. If the deputation comes I can go and hide myself. It won’t +matter if... seven... one... seven... two... one... five... nought. +I don’t like untidiness myself.... Seven... two... nine... [Uses the +counting-frame] I can’t stand untidiness! It would have been wiser of +you not to have invited ladies to to-day’s anniversary dinner.... + +SHIPUCHIN. Oh, that’s nothing. + +KHIRIN. I know that you’re going to have the hall filled with them +to-night to make a good show, but you look out, or they’ll spoil +everything. They cause all sorts of mischief and disorder. + +SHIPUCHIN. On the contrary, feminine society elevates! + +KHIRIN. Yes.... Your wife seems intelligent, but on the Monday of last +week she let something off that upset me for two days. In front of a +lot of people she suddenly asks: “Is it true that at our Bank my husband +bought up a lot of the shares of the Driazhsky-Priazhsky Bank, which +have been falling on exchange? My husband is so annoyed about it!” This +in front of people. Why do you tell them everything, I don’t understand. +Do you want them to get you into serious trouble? + +SHIPUCHIN. Well, that’s enough, enough! All that’s too dull for an +anniversary. Which reminds me, by the way. [Looks at the time] My wife +ought to be here soon. I really ought to have gone to the station, to +meet the poor little thing, but there’s no time.... and I’m tired. I +must say I’m not glad of her! That is to say, I am glad, but I’d be +gladder if she only stayed another couple of days with her mother. +She’ll want me to spend the whole evening with her to-night, whereas +we have arranged a little excursion for ourselves.... [Shivers] Oh, my +nerves have already started dancing me about. They are so strained that +I think the very smallest trifle would be enough to make me break into +tears! No, I must be strong, as my name’s Shipuchin! + +[Enter TATIANA ALEXEYEVNA SHIPUCHIN in a waterproof, with a little +travelling satchel slung across her shoulder.] + +SHIPUCHIN. Ah! In the nick of time! + +TATIANA ALEXEYEVNA. Darling! + +[Runs to her husband: a prolonged kiss.] + +SHIPUCHIN. We were only speaking of you just now! [Looks at his watch.] + +TATIANA ALEXEYEVNA. [Panting] Were you very dull without me? Are you +well? I haven’t been home yet, I came here straight from the station. +I’ve a lot, a lot to tell you.... I couldn’t wait.... I shan’t take off +my clothes, I’ll only stay a minute. [To KHIRIN] Good morning, Kusma +Nicolaievitch! [To her husband] Is everything all right at home? + +SHIPUCHIN. Yes, quite. And, you know, you’ve got to look plumper and +better this week.... Well, what sort of a time did you have? + +TATIANA ALEXEYEVNA. Splendid. Mamma and Katya send their regards. +Vassili Andreitch sends you a kiss. [Kisses him] Aunt sends you a jar +of jam, and is annoyed because you don’t write. Zina sends you a kiss. +[Kisses.] Oh, if you knew what’s happened. If you only knew! I’m even +frightened to tell you! Oh, if you only knew! But I see by your eyes +that you’re sorry I came! + +SHIPUCHIN. On the contrary.... Darling.... [Kisses her.] + +[KHIRIN coughs angrily.] + +TATIANA ALEXEYEVNA. Oh, poor Katya, poor Katya! I’m so sorry for her, so +sorry for her. + +SHIPUCHIN. This is the Bank’s anniversary to-day, darling, we may get a +deputation of the shareholders at any moment, and you’re not dressed. + +TATIANA ALEXEYEVNA. Oh, yes, the anniversary! I congratulate you, +gentlemen. I wish you.... So it means that to-day’s the day of the +meeting, the dinner.... That’s good. And do you remember that beautiful +address which you spent such a long time composing for the shareholders? +Will it be read to-day? + +[KHIRIN coughs angrily.] + +SHIPUCHIN. [Confused] My dear, we don’t talk about these things. You’d +really better go home. + +TATIANA ALEXEYEVNA. In a minute, in a minute. I’ll tell you everything +in one minute and go. I’ll tell you from the very beginning. Well.... +When you were seeing me off, you remember I was sitting next to that +stout lady, and I began to read. I don’t like to talk in the train. I +read for three stations and didn’t say a word to anyone.... Well, then +the evening set in, and I felt so mournful, you know, with such sad +thoughts! A young man was sitting opposite me--not a bad-looking fellow, +a brunette.... Well, we fell into conversation.... A sailor came along +then, then some student or other.... [Laughs] I told them that I wasn’t +married... and they did look after me! We chattered till midnight, the +brunette kept on telling the most awfully funny stories, and the sailor +kept on singing. My chest began to ache from laughing. And when the +sailor--oh, those sailors!--when he got to know my name was TATIANA, you +know what he sang? [Sings in a bass voice] “Onegin don’t let me conceal +it, I love Tatiana madly!” [Note: From the Opera _Evgeni Onegin_--words +by Pushkin.] [Roars with laughter.] + +[KHIRIN coughs angrily.] + +SHIPUCHIN. Tania, dear, you’re disturbing Kusma Nicolaievitch. Go home, +dear.... Later on.... + +TATIANA ALEXEYEVNA. No, no, let him hear if he wants to, it’s awfully +interesting. I’ll end in a minute. Serezha came to meet me at the +station. Some young man or other turns up, an inspector of taxes, I +think... quite handsome, especially his eyes.... Serezha introduced me, +and the three of us rode off together.... It was lovely weather.... + +[Voices behind the stage: “You can’t, you can’t! What do you want?” + Enter MERCHUTKINA, waving her arms about.] + +MERCHUTKINA. What are you dragging at me for. What else! I want him +himself! [To SHIPUCHIN] I have the honour, your excellency... I am the +wife of a civil servant, Nastasya Fyodorovna Merchutkina. + +SHIPUCHIN. What do you want? + +MERCHUTKINA. Well, you see, your excellency, my husband has been ill for +five months, and while he was at home, getting better, he was suddenly +dismissed for no reason, your excellency, and when I went to get his +salary, they, you see, deducted 24 roubles 36 copecks from it. What for? +I ask. They said, “Well, he drew it from the employees’ account, and the +others had to make it up.” How can that be? How could he draw anything +without my permission? No, your excellency! I’m a poor woman... my +lodgers are all I have to live on.... I’m weak and defenceless.... +Everybody does me some harm, and nobody has a kind word for me. + +SHIPUCHIN. Excuse me. [Takes a petition from her and reads it standing.] + +TATIANA ALEXEYEVNA. [To KHIRIN] Yes, but first we.... Last week I +suddenly received a letter from my mother. She writes that a certain +Grendilevsky has proposed to my sister Katya. A nice, modest, young +man, but with no means of his own, and no assured position. And, +unfortunately, just think of it, Katya is absolutely gone on him. +What’s to be done? Mamma writes telling me to come at once and influence +Katya.... + +KHIRIN. [Angrily] Excuse me, you’ve made me lose my place! You go +talking about your mamma and Katya, and I understand nothing; and I’ve +lost my place. + +TATIANA ALEXEYEVNA. What does that matter? You listen when a lady is +talking to you! Why are you so angry to-day? Are you in love? [Laughs.] + +SHIPUCHIN. [To MERCHUTKINA] Excuse me, but what is this? I can’t make +head or tail of it. + +TATIANA ALEXEYEVNA. Are you in love? Aha! You’re blushing! + +SHIPUCHIN. [To his wife] Tanya, dear, do go out into the public office +for a moment. I shan’t be long. + +TATIANA ALEXEYEVNA. All right. [Goes out.] + +SHIPUCHIN. I don’t understand anything of this. You’ve obviously come +to the wrong place, madam. Your petition doesn’t concern us at all. You +should go to the department in which your husband was employed. + +MERCHUTKINA. I’ve been there a good many times these five months, and +they wouldn’t even look at my petition. I’d given up all hopes, but, +thanks to my son-in-law, Boris Matveyitch, I thought of coming to +you. “You go, mother,” he says, “and apply to Mr. Shipuchin, he’s an +influential man and can do anything.” Help me, your excellency! + +SHIPUCHIN. We can’t do anything for you, Mrs. Merchutkina. You must +understand that your husband, so far as I can gather, was in the employ +of the Army Medical Department, while this is a private, commercial +concern, a bank. Don’t you understand that? + +MERCHUTKINA. Your excellency, I can produce a doctor’s certificate of my +husband’s illness. Here it is, just look at it.... + +SHIPUCHIN. [Irritated] That’s all right; I quite believe you, but it’s +not our business. [Behind the scene, TATIANA ALEXEYEVNA’S laughter is +heard, then a man’s. SHIPUCHIN glances at the door] She’s disturbing +the employees. [To MERCHUTKINA] It’s strange and it’s even silly. Surely +your husband knows where you ought to apply? + +MERCHUTKINA. Your excellency, I don’t let him know anything. He just +cried out: “It isn’t your business! Get out of this!” And... + +SHIPUCHIN. Madam, I repeat, your husband was in the employ of the Army +Medical Department, and this is a bank, a private, commercial concern. + +MERCHUTKINA. Yes, yes, yes.... I understand, my dear. In that case, your +excellency, just order them to pay me 15 roubles! I don’t mind taking +that to be going on with. + +SHIPUCHIN. [Sighs] Ouf! + +KHIRIN. Andrey Andreyevitch, I’ll never finish the report at this rate! + +SHIPUCHIN. One moment. [To MERCHUTKINA] I can’t get any sense out of +you. But do understand that your taking this business here is as absurd +as if you took a divorce petition to a chemist’s or into a gold assay +office. [Knock at the door. The voice of TATIANA ALEXEYEVNA is heard, +“Can I come in, Andrey?” SHIPUCHIN shouts] Just wait one minute, dear! +[To MERCHUTKINA] What has it got to do with us if you haven’t been paid? +As it happens, madam, this is an anniversary to-day, we’re busy... and +somebody may be coming here at any moment.... Excuse me.... + +MERCHUTKINA. Your excellency, have pity on me, an orphan! I’m a weak, +defenceless woman.... I’m tired to death.... I’m having trouble with my +lodgers, and on account of my husband, and I’ve got the house to look +after, and my son-in-law is out of work.... + +SHIPUCHIN. Mrs. Merchutkina, I... No, excuse me, I can’t talk to you! My +head’s even in a whirl.... You are disturbing us and making us waste +our time. [Sighs, aside] What a business, as my name’s Shipuchin! +[To KHIRIN] Kusma Nicolaievitch, will you please explain to Mrs. +Merchutkina. [Waves his hand and goes out into public department.] + +KHIRIN. [Approaching MERCHUTKINA, angrily] What do you want? + +MERCHUTKINA. I’m a weak, defenceless woman.... I may look all right, but +if you were to take me to pieces you wouldn’t find a single healthy bit +in me! I can hardly stand on my legs, and I’ve lost my appetite. I drank +my coffee to-day and got no pleasure out of it. + +KHIRIN. I ask you, what do you want? + +MERCHUTKINA. Tell them, my dear, to give me 15 roubles, and a month +later will do for the rest. + +KHIRIN. But haven’t you been told perfectly plainly that this is a bank! + +MERCHUTKINA. Yes, yes.... And if you like I can show you the doctor’s +certificate. + +KHIRIN. Have you got a head on your shoulders, or what? + +MERCHUTKINA. My dear, I’m asking for what’s mine by law. I don’t want +what isn’t mine. + +KHIRIN. I ask you, madam, have you got a head on your shoulders, or +what? Well, devil take me, I haven’t any time to talk to you! I’m +busy.... [Points to the door] That way, please! + +MERCHUTKINA. [Surprised] And where’s the money? + +KHIRIN. You haven’t a head, but this [Taps the table and then points to +his forehead.] + +MERCHUTKINA. [Offended] What? Well, never mind, never mind.... You can +do that to your own wife, but I’m the wife of a civil servant.... You +can’t do that to me! + +KHIRIN. [Losing his temper] Get out of this! + +MERCHUTKINA. No, no, no... none of that! + +KHIRIN. If you don’t get out this second, I’ll call for the hall-porter! +Get out! [Stamping.] + +MERCHUTKINA. Never mind, never mind! I’m not afraid! I’ve seen the like +of you before! Miser! + +KHIRIN. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a more awful woman in my life.... +Ouf! It’s given me a headache.... [Breathing heavily] I tell you once +more... do you hear me? If you don’t get out of this, you old devil, +I’ll grind you into powder! I’ve got such a character that I’m perfectly +capable of laming you for life! I can commit a crime! + +MERCHUTKINA. I’ve heard barking dogs before. I’m not afraid. I’ve seen +the like of you before. + +KHIRIN. [In despair] I can’t stand it! I’m ill! I can’t! [Sits down at +his desk] They’ve let the Bank get filled with women, and I can’t finish +my report! I can’t. + +MERCHUTKINA. I don’t want anybody else’s money, but my own, according to +law. You ought to be ashamed of yourself! Sitting in a government office +in felt boots.... + +[Enter SHIPUCHIN and TATIANA ALEXEYEVNA.] + +TATIANA ALEXEYEVNA. [Following her husband] We spent the evening at the +Berezhnitskys. Katya was wearing a sky-blue frock of foulard silk, cut +low at the neck.... She looks very well with her hair done over her +head, and I did her hair myself.... She was perfectly fascinating.... + +SHIPUCHIN. [Who has had enough of it already] Yes, yes... +fascinating.... They may be here any moment.... + +MERCHUTKINA. Your excellency! + +SHIPUCHIN. [Dully] What else? What do you want? + +MERCHUTKINA. Your excellency! [Points to KHIRIN] This man... this man +tapped the table with his finger, and then his head.... You told him to +look after my affair, but he insults me and says all sorts of things. +I’m a weak, defenceless woman.... + +SHIPUCHIN. All right, madam, I’ll see to it... and take the necessary +steps.... Go away now... later on! [Aside] My gout’s coming on! + +KHIRIN. [In a low tone to SHIPUCHIN] Andrey Andreyevitch, send for the +hall-porter and have her turned out neck and crop! What else can we do? + +SHIPUCHIN. [Frightened] No, no! She’ll kick up a row and we aren’t the +only people in the building. + +MERCHUTKINA. Your excellency. + +KHIRIN. [In a tearful voice] But I’ve got to finish my report! I won’t +have time! I won’t! + +MERCHUTKINA. Your excellency, when shall I have the money? I want it +now. + +SHIPUCHIN. [Aside, in dismay] A re-mark-ab-ly beastly woman! [Politely] +Madam, I’ve already told you, this is a bank, a private, commercial +concern. + +MERCHUTKINA. Be a father to me, your excellency.... If the doctor’s +certificate isn’t enough, I can get you another from the police. Tell +them to give me the money! + +SHIPUCHIN. [Panting] Ouf! + +TATIANA ALEXEYEVNA. [To MERCHUTKINA] Mother, haven’t you already been +told that you’re disturbing them? What right have you? + +MERCHUTKINA. Mother, beautiful one, nobody will help me. All I do is to +eat and drink, and just now I didn’t enjoy my coffee at all. + +SHIPUCHIN. [Exhausted] How much do you want? + +MERCHUTKINA. 24 roubles 36 copecks. + +SHIPUCHIN. All right! [Takes a 25-rouble note out of his pocket-book and +gives it to her] Here are 25 roubles. Take it and... go! + +[KHIRIN coughs angrily.] + +MERCHUTKINA. I thank you very humbly, your excellency. [Hides the +money.] + +TATIANA ALEXEYEVNA. [Sits by her husband] It’s time I went home.... +[Looks at watch] But I haven’t done yet.... I’ll finish in one minute +and go away.... What a time we had! Yes, what a time! We went to spend +the evening at the Berezhnitskys.... It was all right, quite fun, but +nothing in particular.... Katya’s devoted Grendilevsky was there, of +course.... Well, I talked to Katya, cried, and induced her to talk to +Grendilevsky and refuse him. Well, I thought, everything’s, settled +the best possible way; I’ve quieted mamma down, saved Katya, and can +be quiet myself.... What do you think? Katya and I were going along the +avenue, just before supper, and suddenly... [Excitedly] And suddenly +we heard a shot.... No, I can’t talk about it calmly! [Waves her +handkerchief] No, I can’t! + +SHIPUCHIN. [Sighs] Ouf! + +TATIANA ALEXEYEVNA. [Weeps] We ran to the summer-house, and there... +there poor Grendilevsky was lying... with a pistol in his hand.... + +SHIPUCHIN. No, I can’t stand this! I can’t stand it! [To MERCHUTKINA] +What else do you want? + +MERCHUTKINA. Your excellency, can’t my husband go back to his job? + +TATIANA ALEXEYEVNA. [Weeping] He’d shot himself right in the heart... +here.... And the poor man had fallen down senseless.... And he was +awfully frightened, as he lay there... and asked for a doctor. A doctor +came soon... and saved the unhappy man.... + +MERCHUTKINA. Your excellency, can’t my husband go back to his job? + +SHIPUCHIN. No, I can’t stand this! [Weeps] I can’t stand it! [Stretches +out both his hands in despair to KHIRIN] Drive her away! Drive her away, +I implore you! + +KHIRIN. [Goes up to TATIANA ALEXEYEVNA] Get out of this! + +SHIPUCHIN. Not her, but this one... this awful woman.... [Points] That +one! + +KHIRIN. [Not understanding, to TATIANA ALEXEYEVNA] Get out of this! +[Stamps] Get out! + +TATIANA ALEXEYEVNA. What? What are you doing? Have you taken leave of +your senses? + +SHIPUCHIN. It’s awful? I’m a miserable man! Drive her out! Out with her! + +KHIRIN. [To TATIANA ALEXEYEVNA] Out of it! I’ll cripple you! I’ll knock +you out of shape! I’ll break the law! + +TATIANA ALEXEYEVNA. [Running from him; he chases her] How dare you! You +impudent fellow! [Shouts] Andrey! Help! Andrey! [Screams.] + +SHIPUCHIN. [Chasing them] Stop! I implore you! Not such a noise? Have +pity on me! + +KHIRIN. [Chasing MERCHUTKINA] Out of this! Catch her! Hit her! Cut her +into pieces! + +SHIPUCHIN. [Shouts] Stop! I ask you! I implore you! + +MERCHUTKINA. Little fathers... little fathers! [Screams] Little +fathers!... + +TATIANA ALEXEYEVNA. [Shouts] Help! Help!... Oh, oh... I’m sick, I’m +sick! [Jumps on to a chair, then falls on to the sofa and groans as if +in a faint.] + +KHIRIN. [Chasing MERCHUTKINA] Hit her! Beat her! Cut her to pieces! + +MERCHUTKINA. Oh, oh... little fathers, it’s all dark before me! Ah! +[Falls senseless into SHIPUCHIN’S arms. There is a knock at the door; +a VOICE announces THE DEPUTATION] The deputation... reputation... +occupation... + +KHIRIN. [Stamps] Get out of it, devil take me! [Turns up his sleeves] +Give her to me: I may break the law! + +[A deputation of five men enters; they all wear frockcoats. One carries +the velvet-covered address, another, the loving-cup. Employees look in +at the door, from the public department. TATIANA ALEXEYEVNA on the sofa, +and MERCHUTKINA in SHIPUCHIN’S arms are both groaning.] + +ONE OF THE DEPUTATION. [Reads aloud] “Deeply respected and dear Andrey +Andreyevitch! Throwing a retrospective glance at the past history of +our financial administration, and reviewing in our minds its gradual +development, we receive an extremely satisfactory impression. It is true +that in the first period of its existence, the inconsiderable amount of +its capital, and the absence of serious operations of any description, +and also the indefinite aims of this bank, made us attach an extreme +importance to the question raised by Hamlet, ‘To be or not to be,’ +and at one time there were even voices to be heard demanding our +liquidation. But at that moment you become the head of our concern. +Your knowledge, energies, and your native tact were the causes of +extraordinary success and widespread extension. The reputation of the +bank... [Coughs] reputation of the bank...” + +MERCHUTKINA. [Groans] Oh! Oh! + +TATIANA ALEXEYEVNA. [Groans] Water! Water! + +THE MEMBER OF THE DEPUTATION. [Continues] The reputation [Coughs]... the +reputation of the bank has been raised by you to such a height that we +are now the rivals of the best foreign concerns. + +SHIPUCHIN. Deputation... reputation... occupation.... Two friends that +had a walk at night, held converse by the pale moonlight.... Oh tell me +not, that youth is vain, that jealousy has turned my brain. + +THE MEMBER OF THE DEPUTATION. [Continues in confusion] “Then, throwing +an objective glance at the present condition of things, we, deeply +respected and dear Andrey Andreyevitch... [Lowering his voice] In that +case, we’ll do it later on.... Yes, later on....” [DEPUTATION goes out +in confusion.] + +Curtain. + + + + + +THE THREE SISTERS + +A DRAMA IN FOUR ACTS + + +CHARACTERS + + ANDREY SERGEYEVITCH PROSOROV + NATALIA IVANOVA (NATASHA), his fiancée, later his wife (28) + His sisters: + OLGA + MASHA + IRINA + FEODOR ILITCH KULIGIN, high school teacher, married to MASHA (20) + ALEXANDER IGNATEYEVITCH VERSHININ, lieutenant-colonel in charge of + a battery (42) + NICOLAI LVOVITCH TUZENBACH, baron, lieutenant in the army (30) + VASSILI VASSILEVITCH SOLENI, captain + IVAN ROMANOVITCH CHEBUTIKIN, army doctor (60) + ALEXEY PETROVITCH FEDOTIK, sub-lieutenant + VLADIMIR CARLOVITCH RODE, sub-lieutenant + FERAPONT, door-keeper at local council offices, an old man + ANFISA, nurse (80) + + +The action takes place in a provincial town. + +[Ages are stated in brackets.] + + + + +ACT I + +[In PROSOROV’S house. A sitting-room with pillars; behind is seen a +large dining-room. It is midday, the sun is shining brightly outside. In +the dining-room the table is being laid for lunch.] + +[OLGA, in the regulation blue dress of a teacher at a girl’s high +school, is walking about correcting exercise books; MASHA, in a black +dress, with a hat on her knees, sits and reads a book; IRINA, in white, +stands about, with a thoughtful expression.] + +OLGA. It’s just a year since father died last May the fifth, on your +name-day, Irina. It was very cold then, and snowing. I thought I would +never survive it, and you were in a dead faint. And now a year has +gone by and we are already thinking about it without pain, and you are +wearing a white dress and your face is happy. [Clock strikes twelve] And +the clock struck just the same way then. [Pause] I remember that there +was music at the funeral, and they fired a volley in the cemetery. He +was a general in command of a brigade but there were few people present. +Of course, it was raining then, raining hard, and snowing. + +IRINA. Why think about it! + +[BARON TUZENBACH, CHEBUTIKIN and SOLENI appear by the table in the +dining-room, behind the pillars.] + +OLGA. It’s so warm to-day that we can keep the windows open, though the +birches are not yet in flower. Father was put in command of a brigade, +and he rode out of Moscow with us eleven years ago. I remember perfectly +that it was early in May and that everything in Moscow was flowering +then. It was warm too, everything was bathed in sunshine. Eleven years +have gone, and I remember everything as if we rode out only yesterday. +Oh, God! When I awoke this morning and saw all the light and the spring, +joy entered my heart, and I longed passionately to go home. + +CHEBUTIKIN. Will you take a bet on it? + +TUZENBACH. Oh, nonsense. + +[MASHA, lost in a reverie over her book, whistles softly.] + +OLGA. Don’t whistle, Masha. How can you! [Pause] I’m always having +headaches from having to go to the High School every day and then teach +till evening. Strange thoughts come to me, as if I were already an old +woman. And really, during these four years that I have been working +here, I have been feeling as if every day my strength and youth have +been squeezed out of me, drop by drop. And only one desire grows and +gains in strength... + +IRINA. To go away to Moscow. To sell the house, drop everything here, +and go to Moscow... + +OLGA. Yes! To Moscow, and as soon as possible. + +[CHEBUTIKIN and TUZENBACH laugh.] + +IRINA. I expect Andrey will become a professor, but still, he won’t want +to live here. Only poor Masha must go on living here. + +OLGA. Masha can come to Moscow every year, for the whole summer. + +[MASHA is whistling gently.] + +IRINA. Everything will be arranged, please God. [Looks out of the +window] It’s nice out to-day. I don’t know why I’m so happy: I +remembered this morning that it was my name-day, and I suddenly felt +glad and remembered my childhood, when mother was still with us. What +beautiful thoughts I had, what thoughts! + +OLGA. You’re all radiance to-day, I’ve never seen you look so lovely. +And Masha is pretty, too. Andrey wouldn’t be bad-looking, if he wasn’t +so stout; it does spoil his appearance. But I’ve grown old and very +thin, I suppose it’s because I get angry with the girls at school. +To-day I’m free. I’m at home. I haven’t got a headache, and I feel +younger than I was yesterday. I’m only twenty-eight.... All’s well, God +is everywhere, but it seems to me that if only I were married and could +stay at home all day, it would be even better. [Pause] I should love my +husband. + +TUZENBACH. [To SOLENI] I’m tired of listening to the rot you talk. +[Entering the sitting-room] I forgot to say that Vershinin, our new +lieutenant-colonel of artillery, is coming to see us to-day. [Sits down +to the piano.] + +OLGA. That’s good. I’m glad. + +IRINA. Is he old? + +TUZENBACH. Oh, no. Forty or forty-five, at the very outside. [Plays +softly] He seems rather a good sort. He’s certainly no fool, only he +likes to hear himself speak. + +IRINA. Is he interesting? + +TUZENBACH. Oh, he’s all right, but there’s his wife, his mother-in-law, +and two daughters. This is his second wife. He pays calls and tells +everybody that he’s got a wife and two daughters. He’ll tell you so +here. The wife isn’t all there, she does her hair like a flapper and +gushes extremely. She talks philosophy and tries to commit suicide every +now and again, apparently in order to annoy her husband. I should have +left her long ago, but he bears up patiently, and just grumbles. + +SOLENI. [Enters with CHEBUTIKIN from the dining-room] With one hand I +can only lift fifty-four pounds, but with both hands I can lift 180, +or even 200 pounds. From this I conclude that two men are not twice as +strong as one, but three times, perhaps even more.... + +CHEBUTIKIN. [Reads a newspaper as he walks] If your hair is coming +out... take an ounce of naphthaline and hail a bottle of spirit... +dissolve and use daily.... [Makes a note in his pocket diary] When +found make a note of! Not that I want it though.... [Crosses it out] It +doesn’t matter. + +IRINA. Ivan Romanovitch, dear Ivan Romanovitch! + +CHEBUTIKIN. What does my own little girl want? + +IRINA. Ivan Romanovitch, dear Ivan Romanovitch! I feel as if I were +sailing under the broad blue sky with great white birds around me. Why +is that? Why? + +CHEBUTIKIN. [Kisses her hands, tenderly] My white bird.... + +IRINA. When I woke up to-day and got up and dressed myself, I suddenly +began to feel as if everything in this life was open to me, and that I +knew how I must live. Dear Ivan Romanovitch, I know everything. A man +must work, toil in the sweat of his brow, whoever he may be, for that is +the meaning and object of his life, his happiness, his enthusiasm. How +fine it is to be a workman who gets up at daybreak and breaks stones in +the street, or a shepherd, or a schoolmaster, who teaches children, or +an engine-driver on the railway.... My God, let alone a man, it’s better +to be an ox, or just a horse, so long as it can work, than a young woman +who wakes up at twelve o’clock, has her coffee in bed, and then spends +two hours dressing.... Oh it’s awful! Sometimes when it’s hot, your +thirst can be just as tiresome as my need for work. And if I don’t get +up early in future and work, Ivan Romanovitch, then you may refuse me +your friendship. + +CHEBUTIKIN. [Tenderly] I’ll refuse, I’ll refuse.... + +OLGA. Father used to make us get up at seven. Now Irina wakes at seven +and lies and meditates about something till nine at least. And she looks +so serious! [Laughs.] + +IRINA. You’re so used to seeing me as a little girl that it seems queer +to you when my face is serious. I’m twenty! + +TUZENBACH. How well I can understand that craving for work, oh God! I’ve +never worked once in my life. I was born in Petersburg, a chilly, lazy +place, in a family which never knew what work or worry meant. I remember +that when I used to come home from my regiment, a footman used to +have to pull off my boots while I fidgeted and my mother looked on in +adoration and wondered why other people didn’t see me in the same light. +They shielded me from work; but only just in time! A new age is dawning, +the people are marching on us all, a powerful, health-giving storm is +gathering, it is drawing near, soon it will be upon us and it will drive +away laziness, indifference, the prejudice against labour, and rotten +dullness from our society. I shall work, and in twenty-five or thirty +years, every man will have to work. Every one! + +CHEBUTIKIN. I shan’t work. + +TUZENBACH. You don’t matter. + +SOLENI. In twenty-five years’ time, we shall all be dead, thank the +Lord. In two or three years’ time apoplexy will carry you off, or else +I’ll blow your brains out, my pet. [Takes a scent-bottle out of his +pocket and sprinkles his chest and hands.] + +CHEBUTIKIN. [Laughs] It’s quite true, I never have worked. After I came +down from the university I never stirred a finger or opened a book, I +just read the papers.... [Takes another newspaper out of his pocket] +Here we are.... I’ve learnt from the papers that there used to be one, +Dobrolubov [Note: Dobroluboy (1836-81), in spite of the shortness of his +career, established himself as one of the classic literary critics +of Russia], for instance, but what he wrote--I don’t know... God only +knows.... [Somebody is heard tapping on the floor from below] There.... +They’re calling me downstairs, somebody’s come to see me. I’ll be back +in a minute... won’t be long.... [Exit hurriedly, scratching his beard.] + +IRINA. He’s up to something. + +TUZENBACH. Yes, he looked so pleased as he went out that I’m pretty +certain he’ll bring you a present in a moment. + +IRINA. How unpleasant! + +OLGA. Yes, it’s awful. He’s always doing silly things. + +MASHA. + + “There stands a green oak by the sea. + And a chain of bright gold is around it... + And a chain of bright gold is around it....” + +[Gets up and sings softly.] + +OLGA. You’re not very bright to-day, Masha. [MASHA sings, putting on her +hat] Where are you off to? + +MASHA. Home. + +IRINA. That’s odd.... + +TUZENBACH. On a name-day, too! + +MASHA. It doesn’t matter. I’ll come in the evening. Good-bye, dear. +[Kisses MASHA] Many happy returns, though I’ve said it before. In the +old days when father was alive, every time we had a name-day, thirty or +forty officers used to come, and there was lots of noise and fun, and +to-day there’s only a man and a half, and it’s as quiet as a desert... +I’m off... I’ve got the hump to-day, and am not at all cheerful, so +don’t you mind me. [Laughs through her tears] We’ll have a talk later +on, but good-bye for the present, my dear; I’ll go somewhere. + +IRINA. [Displeased] You are queer.... + +OLGA. [Crying] I understand you, Masha. + +SOLENI. When a man talks philosophy, well, it is philosophy or at any +rate sophistry; but when a woman, or two women, talk philosophy--it’s +all my eye. + +MASHA. What do you mean by that, you very awful man? + +SOLENI. Oh, nothing. You came down on me before I could say... help! +[Pause.] + +MASHA. [Angrily, to OLGA] Don’t cry! + +[Enter ANFISA and FERAPONT with a cake.] + +ANFISA. This way, my dear. Come in, your feet are clean. [To IRINA] From +the District Council, from Mihail Ivanitch Protopopov... a cake. + +IRINA. Thank you. Please thank him. [Takes the cake.] + +FERAPONT. What? + +IRINA. [Louder] Please thank him. + +OLGA. Give him a pie, nurse. Ferapont, go, she’ll give you a pie. + +FERAPONT. What? + +ANFISA. Come on, gran’fer, Ferapont Spiridonitch. Come on. [Exeunt.] + +MASHA. I don’t like this Mihail Potapitch or Ivanitch, Protopopov. We +oughtn’t to invite him here. + +IRINA. I never asked him. + +MASHA. That’s all right. + +[Enter CHEBUTIKIN followed by a soldier with a silver samovar; there is +a rumble of dissatisfied surprise.] + +OLGA. [Covers her face with her hands] A samovar! That’s awful! [Exit +into the dining-room, to the table.] + +IRINA. My dear Ivan Romanovitch, what are you doing! + +TUZENBACH. [Laughs] I told you so! + +MASHA. Ivan Romanovitch, you are simply shameless! + +CHEBUTIKIN. My dear good girl, you are the only thing, and the dearest +thing I have in the world. I’ll soon be sixty. I’m an old man, a lonely +worthless old man. The only good thing in me is my love for you, and if +it hadn’t been for that, I would have been dead long ago.... [To IRINA] +My dear little girl, I’ve known you since the day of your birth, I’ve +carried you in my arms... I loved your dead mother.... + +MASHA. But your presents are so expensive! + +CHEBUTIKIN. [Angrily, through his tears] Expensive presents.... You +really, are!... [To the orderly] Take the samovar in there.... [Teasing] +Expensive presents! + +[The orderly goes into the dining-room with the samovar.] + +ANFISA. [Enters and crosses stage] My dear, there’s a strange Colonel +come! He’s taken off his coat already. Children, he’s coming here. Irina +darling, you’ll be a nice and polite little girl, won’t you.... Should +have lunched a long time ago.... Oh, Lord.... [Exit.] + +TUZENBACH. It must be Vershinin. [Enter VERSHININ] Lieutenant-Colonel +Vershinin! + +VERSHININ. [To MASHA and IRINA] I have the honour to introduce myself, +my name is Vershinin. I am very glad indeed to be able to come at last. +How you’ve grown! Oh! oh! + +IRINA. Please sit down. We’re very glad you’ve come. + +VERSHININ. [Gaily] I am glad, very glad! But there are three sisters, +surely. I remember--three little girls. I forget your faces, but your +father, Colonel Prosorov, used to have three little girls, I remember +that perfectly, I saw them with my own eyes. How time does fly! Oh, +dear, how it flies! + +TUZENBACH. Alexander Ignateyevitch comes from Moscow. + +IRINA. From Moscow? Are you from Moscow? + +VERSHININ. Yes, that’s so. Your father used to be in charge of a battery +there, and I was an officer in the same brigade. [To MASHA] I seem to +remember your face a little. + +MASHA. I don’t remember you. + +IRINA. Olga! Olga! [Shouts into the dining-room] Olga! Come along! [OLGA +enters from the dining-room] Lieutenant Colonel Vershinin comes from +Moscow, as it happens. + +VERSHININ. I take it that you are Olga Sergeyevna, the eldest, and that +you are Maria... and you are Irina, the youngest.... + +OLGA. So you come from Moscow? + +VERSHININ. Yes. I went to school in Moscow and began my service there; I +was there for a long time until at last I got my battery and moved over +here, as you see. I don’t really remember you, I only remember that +there used to be three sisters. I remember your father well; I have only +to shut my eyes to see him as he was. I used to come to your house in +Moscow.... + +OLGA. I used to think I remembered everybody, but... + +VERSHININ. My name is Alexander Ignateyevitch. + +IRINA. Alexander Ignateyevitch, you’ve come from Moscow. That is really +quite a surprise! + +OLGA. We are going to live there, you see. + +IRINA. We think we may be there this autumn. It’s our native town, we +were born there. In Old Basmanni Road.... [They both laugh for joy.] + +MASHA. We’ve unexpectedly met a fellow countryman. [Briskly] I remember: +Do you remember, Olga, they used to speak at home of a “lovelorn Major.” + You were only a Lieutenant then, and in love with somebody, but for some +reason they always called you a Major for fun. + +VERSHININ. [Laughs] That’s it... the lovelorn Major, that’s got it! + +MASHA. You only wore moustaches then. You have grown older! [Through her +tears] You have grown older! + +VERSHININ. Yes, when they used to call me the lovelorn Major, I was +young and in love. I’ve grown out of both now. + +OLGA. But you haven’t a single white hair yet. You’re older, but you’re +not yet old. + +VERSHININ. I’m forty-two, anyway. Have you been away from Moscow long? + +IRINA. Eleven years. What are you crying for, Masha, you little fool.... +[Crying] And I’m crying too. + +MASHA. It’s all right. And where did you live? + +VERSHININ. Old Basmanni Road. + +OLGA. Same as we. + +VERSHININ. Once I used to live in German Street. That was when the Red +Barracks were my headquarters. There’s an ugly bridge in between, where +the water rushes underneath. One gets melancholy when one is alone +there. [Pause] Here the river is so wide and fine! It’s a splendid +river! + +OLGA. Yes, but it’s so cold. It’s very cold here, and the midges.... + +VERSHININ. What are you saying! Here you’ve got such a fine healthy +Russian climate. You’ve a forest, a river... and birches. Dear, modest +birches, I like them more than any other tree. It’s good to live here. +Only it’s odd that the railway station should be thirteen miles away.... +Nobody knows why. + +SOLENI. I know why. [All look at him] Because if it was near it wouldn’t +be far off, and if it’s far off, it can’t be near. [An awkward pause.] + +TUZENBACH. Funny man. + +OLGA. Now I know who you are. I remember. + +VERSHININ. I used to know your mother. + +CHEBUTIKIN. She was a good woman, rest her soul. + +IRINA. Mother is buried in Moscow. + +OLGA. At the Novo-Devichi Cemetery. + +MASHA. Do you know, I’m beginning to forget her face. We’ll be forgotten +in just the same way. + +VERSHININ. Yes, they’ll forget us. It’s our fate, it can’t be helped. A +time will come when everything that seems serious, significant, or very +important to us will be forgotten, or considered trivial. [Pause] And +the curious thing is that we can’t possibly find out what will come to +be regarded as great and important, and what will be feeble, or silly. +Didn’t the discoveries of Copernicus, or Columbus, say, seem unnecessary +and ludicrous at first, while wasn’t it thought that some rubbish +written by a fool, held all the truth? And it may so happen that our +present existence, with which we are so satisfied, will in time appear +strange, inconvenient, stupid, unclean, perhaps even sinful.... + +TUZENBACH. Who knows? But on the other hand, they may call our life +noble and honour its memory. We’ve abolished torture and capital +punishment, we live in security, but how much suffering there is still! + +SOLENI. [In a feeble voice] There, there.... The Baron will go without +his dinner if you only let him talk philosophy. + +TUZENBACH. Vassili Vassilevitch, kindly leave me alone. [Changes his +chair] You’re very dull, you know. + +SOLENI. [Feebly] There, there, there. + +TUZENBACH. [To VERSHININ] The sufferings we see to-day--there are so +many of them!--still indicate a certain moral improvement in society. + +VERSHININ. Yes, yes, of course. + +CHEBUTIKIN. You said just now, Baron, that they may call our life noble; +but we are very petty.... [Stands up] See how little I am. [Violin +played behind.] + +MASHA. That’s Andrey playing--our brother. + +IRINA. He’s the learned member of the family. I expect he will be a +professor some day. Father was a soldier, but his son chose an academic +career for himself. + +MASHA. That was father’s wish. + +OLGA. We ragged him to-day. We think he’s a little in love. + +IRINA. To a local lady. She will probably come here to-day. + +MASHA. You should see the way she dresses! Quite prettily, quite +fashionably too, but so badly! Some queer bright yellow skirt with a +wretched little fringe and a red bodice. And such a complexion! Andrey +isn’t in love. After all he has taste, he’s simply making fun of us. I +heard yesterday that she was going to marry Protopopov, the chairman +of the Local Council. That would do her nicely.... [At the side door] +Andrey, come here! Just for a minute, dear! [Enter ANDREY.] + +OLGA. My brother, Andrey Sergeyevitch. + +VERSHININ. My name is Vershinin. + +ANDREY. Mine is Prosorov. [Wipes his perspiring hands] You’ve come to +take charge of the battery? + +OLGA. Just think, Alexander Ignateyevitch comes from Moscow. + +ANDREY. That’s all right. Now my little sisters won’t give you any rest. + +VERSHININ. I’ve already managed to bore your sisters. + +IRINA. Just look what a nice little photograph frame Andrey gave me +to-day. [Shows it] He made it himself. + +VERSHININ. [Looks at the frame and does not know what to say] Yes.... +It’s a thing that... + +IRINA. And he made that frame there, on the piano as well. [Andrey waves +his hand and walks away.] + +OLGA. He’s got a degree, and plays the violin, and cuts all sorts of +things out of wood, and is really a domestic Admirable Crichton. Don’t +go away, Andrey! He’s got into a habit of always going away. Come here! + +[MASHA and IRINA take his arms and laughingly lead him back.] + +MASHA. Come on, come on! + +ANDREY. Please leave me alone. + +MASHA. You are funny. Alexander Ignateyevitch used to be called the +lovelorn Major, but he never minded. + +VERSHININ. Not the least. + +MASHA. I’d like to call you the lovelorn fiddler! + +IRINA. Or the lovelorn professor! + +OLGA. He’s in love! little Andrey is in love! + +IRINA. [Applauds] Bravo, Bravo! Encore! Little Andrey is in love. + +CHEBUTIKIN. [Goes up behind ANDREY and takes him round the waist with +both arms] Nature only brought us into the world that we should love! +[Roars with laughter, then sits down and reads a newspaper which he +takes out of his pocket.] + +ANDREY. That’s enough, quite enough.... [Wipes his face] I couldn’t +sleep all night and now I can’t quite find my feet, so to speak. I read +until four o’clock, then tried to sleep, but nothing happened. I thought +about one thing and another, and then it dawned and the sun crawled into +my bedroom. This summer, while I’m here, I want to translate a book from +the English.... + +VERSHININ. Do you read English? + +ANDREY. Yes father, rest his soul, educated us almost violently. It may +seem funny and silly, but it’s nevertheless true, that after his death +I began to fill out and get rounder, as if my body had had some great +pressure taken off it. Thanks to father, my sisters and I know French, +German, and English, and Irina knows Italian as well. But we paid dearly +for it all! + +MASHA. A knowledge of three languages is an unnecessary luxury in this +town. It isn’t even a luxury but a sort of useless extra, like a sixth +finger. We know a lot too much. + +VERSHININ. Well, I say! [Laughs] You know a lot too much! I don’t think +there can really be a town so dull and stupid as to have no place for +a clever, cultured person. Let us suppose even that among the hundred +thousand inhabitants of this backward and uneducated town, there are +only three persons like yourself. It stands to reason that you won’t be +able to conquer that dark mob around you; little by little as you grow +older you will be bound to give way and lose yourselves in this crowd of +a hundred thousand human beings; their life will suck you up in itself, +but still, you won’t disappear having influenced nobody; later on, +others like you will come, perhaps six of them, then twelve, and so on, +until at last your sort will be in the majority. In two or three hundred +years’ time life on this earth will be unimaginably beautiful and +wonderful. Mankind needs such a life, and if it is not ours to-day then +we must look ahead for it, wait, think, prepare for it. We must see and +know more than our fathers and grandfathers saw and knew. [Laughs] And +you complain that you know too much. + +MASHA. [Takes off her hat] I’ll stay to lunch. + +IRINA. [Sighs] Yes, all that ought to be written down. + +[ANDREY has gone out quietly.] + +TUZENBACH. You say that many years later on, life on this earth will +be beautiful and wonderful. That’s true. But to share in it now, even +though at a distance, we must prepare by work.... + +VERSHININ. [Gets up] Yes. What a lot of flowers you have. [Looks round] +It’s a beautiful flat. I envy you! I’ve spent my whole life in rooms +with two chairs, one sofa, and fires which always smoke. I’ve never had +flowers like these in my life.... [Rubs his hands] Well, well! + +TUZENBACH. Yes, we must work. You are probably thinking to yourself: +the German lets himself go. But I assure you I’m a Russian, I can’t even +speak German. My father belonged to the Orthodox Church.... [Pause.] + +VERSHININ. [Walks about the stage] I often wonder: suppose we could +begin life over again, knowing what we were doing? Suppose we could use +one life, already ended, as a sort of rough draft for another? I think +that every one of us would try, more than anything else, not to repeat +himself, at the very least he would rearrange his manner of life, he +would make sure of rooms like these, with flowers and light... I have +a wife and two daughters, my wife’s health is delicate and so on and so +on, and if I had to begin life all over again I would not marry.... No, +no! + +[Enter KULIGIN in a regulation jacket.] + +KULIGIN. [Going up to IRINA] Dear sister, allow me to congratulate you +on the day sacred to your good angel and to wish you, sincerely and from +the bottom of my heart, good health and all that one can wish for a girl +of your years. And then let me offer you this book as a present. [Gives +it to her] It is the history of our High School during the last fifty +years, written by myself. The book is worthless, and written because I +had nothing to do, but read it all the same. Good day, gentlemen! [To +VERSHININ] My name is Kuligin, I am a master of the local High School. +[Note: He adds that he is a _Nadvorny Sovetnik_ (almost the same as +a German _Hofrat_), an undistinguished civilian title with no English +equivalent.] [To IRINA] In this book you will find a list of all those +who have taken the full course at our High School during these fifty +years. _Feci quod potui, faciant meliora potentes_. [Kisses MASHA.] + +IRINA. But you gave me one of these at Easter. + +KULIGIN. [Laughs] I couldn’t have, surely! You’d better give it back +to me in that case, or else give it to the Colonel. Take it, Colonel. +You’ll read it some day when you’re bored. + +VERSHININ. Thank you. [Prepares to go] I am extremely happy to have made +the acquaintance of... + +OLGA. Must you go? No, not yet? + +IRINA. You’ll stop and have lunch with us. Please do. + +OLGA. Yes, please! + +VERSHININ. [Bows] I seem to have dropped in on your name-day. Forgive +me, I didn’t know, and I didn’t offer you my congratulations. [Goes with +OLGA into the dining-room.] + +KULIGIN. To-day is Sunday, the day of rest, so let us rest and rejoice, +each in a manner compatible with his age and disposition. The carpets +will have to be taken up for the summer and put away till the winter... +Persian powder or naphthaline.... The Romans were healthy because they +knew both how to work and how to rest, they had _mens sana in corpore +sano_. Their life ran along certain recognized patterns. Our director +says: “The chief thing about each life is its pattern. Whoever loses +his pattern is lost himself”--and it’s just the same in our daily life. +[Takes MASHA by the waist, laughing] Masha loves me. My wife loves me. +And you ought to put the window curtains away with the carpets.... I’m +feeling awfully pleased with life to-day. Masha, we’ve got to be at the +director’s at four. They’re getting up a walk for the pedagogues and +their families. + +MASHA. I shan’t go. + +KULIGIN. [Hurt] My dear Masha, why not? + +MASHA. I’ll tell you later.... [Angrily] All right, I’ll go, only please +stand back.... [Steps away.] + +KULIGIN. And then we’re to spend the evening at the director’s. In spite +of his ill-health that man tries, above everything else, to be sociable. +A splendid, illuminating personality. A wonderful man. After yesterday’s +committee he said to me: “I’m tired, Feodor Ilitch, I’m tired!” [Looks +at the clock, then at his watch] Your clock is seven minutes fast. +“Yes,” he said, “I’m tired.” [Violin played off.] + +OLGA. Let’s go and have lunch! There’s to be a masterpiece of baking! + +KULIGIN. Oh my dear Olga, my dear. Yesterday I was working till eleven +o’clock at night, and got awfully tired. To-day I’m quite happy. [Goes +into dining-room] My dear... + +CHEBUTIKIN. [Puts his paper into his pocket, and combs his beard] A pie? +Splendid! + +MASHA. [Severely to CHEBUTIKIN] Only mind; you’re not to drink anything +to-day. Do you hear? It’s bad for you. + +CHEBUTIKIN. Oh, that’s all right. I haven’t been drunk for two years. +And it’s all the same, anyway! + +MASHA. You’re not to dare to drink, all the same. [Angrily, but so that +her husband should not hear] Another dull evening at the Director’s, +confound it! + +TUZENBACH. I shouldn’t go if I were you.... It’s quite simple. + +CHEBUTIKIN. Don’t go. + +MASHA. Yes, “don’t go....” It’s a cursed, unbearable life.... [Goes into +dining-room.] + +CHEBUTIKIN. [Follows her] It’s not so bad. + +SOLENI. [Going into the dining-room] There, there, there.... + +TUZENBACH. Vassili Vassilevitch, that’s enough. Be quiet! + +SOLENI. There, there, there.... + +KULIGIN. [Gaily] Your health, Colonel! I’m a pedagogue and not quite at +home here. I’m Masha’s husband.... She’s a good sort, a very good sort. + +VERSHININ. I’ll have some of this black vodka.... [Drinks] Your health! +[To OLGA] I’m very comfortable here! + +[Only IRINA and TUZENBACH are now left in the sitting-room.] + +IRINA. Masha’s out of sorts to-day. She married when she was eighteen, +when he seemed to her the wisest of men. And now it’s different. He’s +the kindest man, but not the wisest. + +OLGA. [Impatiently] Andrey, when are you coming? + +ANDREY. [Off] One minute. [Enters and goes to the table.] + +TUZENBACH. What are you thinking about? + +IRINA. I don’t like this Soleni of yours and I’m afraid of him. He only +says silly things. + +TUZENBACH. He’s a queer man. I’m sorry for him, though he vexes me. I +think he’s shy. When there are just the two of us he’s quite all right +and very good company; when other people are about he’s rough and +hectoring. Don’t let’s go in, let them have their meal without us. Let +me stay with you. What are you thinking of? [Pause] You’re twenty. I’m +not yet thirty. How many years are there left to us, with their long, +long lines of days, filled with my love for you.... + +IRINA. Nicolai Lvovitch, don’t speak to me of love. + +TUZENBACH. [Does not hear] I’ve a great thirst for life, struggle, and +work, and this thirst has united with my love for you, Irina, and you’re +so beautiful, and life seems so beautiful to me! What are you thinking +about? + +IRINA. You say that life is beautiful. Yes, if only it seems so! The +life of us three hasn’t been beautiful yet; it has been stifling us as +if it was weeds... I’m crying. I oughtn’t.... [Dries her tears, smiles] +We must work, work. That is why we are unhappy and look at the world so +sadly; we don’t know what work is. Our parents despised work.... + +[Enter NATALIA IVANOVA; she wears a pink dress and a green sash.] + +NATASHA. They’re already at lunch... I’m late... [Carefully examines +herself in a mirror, and puts herself straight] I think my hair’s done +all right.... [Sees IRINA] Dear Irina Sergeyevna, I congratulate you! +[Kisses her firmly and at length] You’ve so many visitors, I’m really +ashamed.... How do you do, Baron! + +OLGA. [Enters from dining-room] Here’s Natalia Ivanovna. How are you, +dear! [They kiss.] + +NATASHA. Happy returns. I’m awfully shy, you’ve so many people here. + +OLGA. All our friends. [Frightened, in an undertone] You’re wearing a +green sash! My dear, you shouldn’t! + +NATASHA. Is it a sign of anything? + +OLGA. No, it simply doesn’t go well... and it looks so queer. + +NATASHA. [In a tearful voice] Yes? But it isn’t really green, it’s too +dull for that. [Goes into dining-room with OLGA.] + +[They have all sat down to lunch in the dining-room, the sitting-room is +empty.] + +KULIGIN. I wish you a nice fiancée, Irina. It’s quite time you married. + +CHEBUTIKIN. Natalia Ivanovna, I wish you the same. + +KULIGIN. Natalia Ivanovna has a fiancé already. + +MASHA. [Raps with her fork on a plate] Let’s all get drunk and make life +purple for once! + +KULIGIN. You’ve lost three good conduct marks. + +VERSHININ. This is a nice drink. What’s it made of? + +SOLENI. Blackbeetles. + +IRINA. [Tearfully] Phoo! How disgusting! + +OLGA. There is to be a roast turkey and a sweet apple pie for dinner. +Thank goodness I can spend all day and the evening at home. You’ll come +in the evening, ladies and gentlemen.... + +VERSHININ. And please may I come in the evening! + +IRINA. Please do. + +NATASHA. They don’t stand on ceremony here. + +CHEBUTIKIN. Nature only brought us into the world that we should love! +[Laughs.] + +ANDREY. [Angrily] Please don’t! Aren’t you tired of it? + +[Enter FEDOTIK and RODE with a large basket of flowers.] + +FEDOTIK. They’re lunching already. + +RODE. [Loudly and thickly] Lunching? Yes, so they are.... + +FEDOTIK. Wait a minute! [Takes a photograph] That’s one. No, just a +moment.... [Takes another] That’s two. Now we’re ready! + +[They take the basket and go into the dining-room, where they have a +noisy reception.] + +RODE. [Loudly] Congratulations and best wishes! Lovely weather to-day, +simply perfect. Was out walking with the High School students all the +morning. I take their drills. + +FEDOTIK. You may move, Irina Sergeyevna! [Takes a photograph] You +look well to-day. [Takes a humming-top out of his pocket] Here’s a +humming-top, by the way. It’s got a lovely note! + +IRINA. How awfully nice! + +MASHA. + + “There stands a green oak by the sea, + And a chain of bright gold is around it... + And a chain of bright gold is around it...” + +[Tearfully] What am I saying that for? I’ve had those words running in +my head all day.... + +KULIGIN. There are thirteen at table! + +RODE. [Aloud] Surely you don’t believe in that superstition? [Laughter.] + +KULIGIN. If there are thirteen at table then it means there are lovers +present. It isn’t you, Ivan Romanovitch, hang it all.... [Laughter.] + +CHEBUTIKIN. I’m a hardened sinner, but I really don’t see why Natalia +Ivanovna should blush.... + +[Loud laughter; NATASHA runs out into the sitting-room, followed by +ANDREY.] + +ANDREY. Don’t pay any attention to them! Wait... do stop, please.... + +NATASHA. I’m shy... I don’t know what’s the matter with me and they’re +all laughing at me. It wasn’t nice of me to leave the table like that, +but I can’t... I can’t. [Covers her face with her hands.] + +ANDREY. My dear, I beg you. I implore you not to excite yourself. I +assure you they’re only joking, they’re kind people. My dear, good girl, +they’re all kind and sincere people, and they like both you and me. Come +here to the window, they can’t see us here.... [Looks round.] + +NATASHA. I’m so unaccustomed to meeting people! + +ANDREY. Oh your youth, your splendid, beautiful youth! My darling, don’t +be so excited! Believe me, believe me... I’m so happy, my soul is full +of love, of ecstasy.... They don’t see us! They can’t! Why, why or when +did I fall in love with you--Oh, I can’t understand anything. My dear, +my pure darling, be my wife! I love you, love you... as never before.... +[They kiss.] + +[Two officers come in and, seeing the lovers kiss, stop in +astonishment.] + +Curtain. + + + + +ACT II + +[Scene as before. It is 8 p.m. Somebody is heard playing a concertina +outside in’ the street. There is no fire. NATALIA IVANOVNA enters in +indoor dress carrying a candle; she stops by the door which leads into +ANDREY’S room.] + +NATASHA. What are you doing, Andrey? Are you reading? It’s nothing, only +I.... [She opens another door, and looks in, then closes it] Isn’t there +any fire.... + +ANDREY. [Enters with book in hand] What are you doing, Natasha? + +NATASHA. I was looking to see if there wasn’t a fire. It’s Shrovetide, +and the servant is simply beside herself; I must look out that something +doesn’t happen. When I came through the dining-room yesterday midnight, +there was a candle burning. I couldn’t get her to tell me who had +lighted it. [Puts down her candle] What’s the time? + +ANDREY. [Looks at his watch] A quarter past eight. + +NATASHA. And Olga and Irina aren’t in yet. The poor things are still at +work. Olga at the teacher’s council, Irina at the telegraph office.... +[Sighs] I said to your sister this morning, “Irina, darling, you must +take care of yourself.” But she pays no attention. Did you say it was a +quarter past eight? I am afraid little Bobby is quite ill. Why is he so +cold? He was feverish yesterday, but to-day he is quite cold... I am so +frightened! + +ANDREY. It’s all right, Natasha. The boy is well. + +NATASHA. Still, I think we ought to put him on a diet. I am so afraid. +And the entertainers were to be here after nine; they had better not +come, Audrey. + +ANDREY. I don’t know. After all, they were asked. + +NATASHA. This morning, when the little boy woke up and saw me he +suddenly smiled; that means he knew me. “Good morning, Bobby!” I said, +“good morning, darling.” And he laughed. Children understand, they +understand very well. So I’ll tell them, Andrey dear, not to receive the +entertainers. + +ANDREY. [Hesitatingly] But what about my sisters. This is their flat. + +NATASHA. They’ll do as I want them. They are so kind.... [Going] I +ordered sour milk for supper. The doctor says you must eat sour milk +and nothing else, or you won’t get thin. [Stops] Bobby is so cold. I’m +afraid his room is too cold for him. It would be nice to put him into +another room till the warm weather comes. Irina’s room, for instance, +is just right for a child: it’s dry and has the sun all day. I must tell +her, she can share Olga’s room. It isn’t as if she was at home in the +daytime, she only sleeps here.... [A pause] Andrey, darling, why are you +so silent? + +ANDREY. I was just thinking.... There is really nothing to say.... + +NATASHA. Yes... there was something I wanted to tell you.... Oh, yes. +Ferapont has come from the Council offices, he wants to see you. + +ANDREY. [Yawns] Call him here. + +[NATASHA goes out; ANDREY reads his book, stooping over the candle she +has left behind. FERAPONT enters; he wears a tattered old coat with the +collar up. His ears are muffled.] + +ANDREY. Good morning, grandfather. What have you to say? + +FERAPONT. The Chairman sends a book and some documents or other. +Here.... [Hands him a book and a packet.] + +ANDREY. Thank you. It’s all right. Why couldn’t you come earlier? It’s +past eight now. + +FERAPONT. What? + +ANDREY. [Louder]. I say you’ve come late, it’s past eight. + +FERAPONT. Yes, yes. I came when it was still light, but they wouldn’t +let me in. They said you were busy. Well, what was I to do. If you’re +busy, you’re busy, and I’m in no hurry. [He thinks that ANDREY is asking +him something] What? + +ANDREY. Nothing. [Looks through the book] To-morrow’s Friday. I’m not +supposed to go to work, but I’ll come--all the same... and do some +work. It’s dull at home. [Pause] Oh, my dear old man, how strangely life +changes, and how it deceives! To-day, out of sheer boredom, I took up +this book--old university lectures, and I couldn’t help laughing. My +God, I’m secretary of the local district council, the council which has +Protopopov for its chairman, yes, I’m the secretary, and the summit of +my ambitions is--to become a member of the council! I to be a member +of the local district council, I, who dream every night that I’m a +professor of Moscow University, a famous scholar of whom all Russia is +proud! + +FERAPONT. I can’t tell... I’m hard of hearing.... + +ANDREY. If you weren’t, I don’t suppose I should talk to you. I’ve got +to talk to somebody, and my wife doesn’t understand me, and I’m a bit +afraid of my sisters--I don’t know why unless it is that they may +make fun of me and make me feel ashamed... I don’t drink, I don’t like +public-houses, but how I should like to be sitting just now in Tyestov’s +place in Moscow, or at the Great Moscow, old fellow! + +FERAPONT. Moscow? That’s where a contractor was once telling that some +merchants or other were eating pancakes; one ate forty pancakes and he +went and died, he was saying. Either forty or fifty, I forget which. + +ANDREY. In Moscow you can sit in an enormous restaurant where you don’t +know anybody and where nobody knows you, and you don’t feel all the same +that you’re a stranger. And here you know everybody and everybody knows +you, and you’re a stranger... and a lonely stranger. + +FERAPONT. What? And the same contractor was telling--perhaps he was +lying--that there was a cable stretching right across Moscow. + +ANDREY. What for? + +FERAPONT. I can’t tell. The contractor said so. + +ANDREY. Rubbish. [He reads] Were you ever in Moscow? + +FERAPONT. [After a pause] No. God did not lead me there. [Pause] Shall I +go? + +ANDREY. You may go. Good-bye. [FERAPONT goes] Good-bye. [Reads] You can +come to-morrow and fetch these documents.... Go along.... [Pause] He’s +gone. [A ring] Yes, yes.... [Stretches himself and slowly goes into his +own room.] + +[Behind the scene the nurse is singing a lullaby to the child. MASHA and +VERSHININ come in. While they talk, a maidservant lights candles and a +lamp.] + +MASHA. I don’t know. [Pause] I don’t know. Of course, habit counts for +a great deal. After father’s death, for instance, it took us a long time +to get used to the absence of orderlies. But, apart from habit, it seems +to me in all fairness that, however it may be in other towns, the best +and most-educated people are army men. + +VERSHININ. I’m thirsty. I should like some tea. + +MASHA. [Glancing at her watch] They’ll bring some soon. I was given in +marriage when I was eighteen, and I was afraid of my husband because +he was a teacher and I’d only just left school. He then seemed to me +frightfully wise and learned and important. And now, unfortunately, that +has changed. + +VERSHININ. Yes... yes. + +MASHA. I don’t speak of my husband, I’ve grown used to him, but +civilians in general are so often coarse, impolite, uneducated. Their +rudeness offends me, it angers me. I suffer when I see that a man isn’t +quite sufficiently refined, or delicate, or polite. I simply suffer +agonies when I happen to be among schoolmasters, my husband’s +colleagues. + +VERSHININ. Yes.... It seems to me that civilians and army men are +equally interesting, in this town, at any rate. It’s all the same! If +you listen to a member of the local intelligentsia, whether to civilian +or military, he will tell you that he’s sick of his wife, sick of +his house, sick of his estate, sick of his horses.... We Russians are +extremely gifted in the direction of thinking on an exalted plane, but, +tell me, why do we aim so low in real life? Why? + +MASHA. Why? + +VERSHININ. Why is a Russian sick of his children, sick of his wife? And +why are his wife and children sick of him? + +MASHA. You’re a little downhearted to-day. + +VERSHININ. Perhaps I am. I haven’t had any dinner, I’ve had nothing +since the morning. My daughter is a little unwell, and when my girls are +ill, I get very anxious and my conscience tortures me because they +have such a mother. Oh, if you had seen her to-day! What a trivial +personality! We began quarrelling at seven in the morning and at nine +I slammed the door and went out. [Pause] I never speak of her, it’s +strange that I bear my complaints to you alone. [Kisses her hand] Don’t +be angry with me. I haven’t anybody but you, nobody at all.... [Pause.] + +MASHA. What a noise in the oven. Just before father’s death there was a +noise in the pipe, just like that. + +VERSHININ. Are you superstitious? + +MASHA. Yes. + +VERSHININ. That’s strange. [Kisses her hand] You are a splendid, +wonderful woman. Splendid, wonderful! It is dark here, but I see your +sparkling eyes. + +MASHA. [Sits on another chair] There is more light here. + +VERSHININ. I love you, love you, love you... I love your eyes, your +movements, I dream of them.... Splendid, wonderful woman! + +MASHA. [Laughing] When you talk to me like that, I laugh; I don’t know +why, for I’m afraid. Don’t repeat it, please.... [In an undertone] No, +go on, it’s all the same to me.... [Covers her face with her hands] +Somebody’s coming, let’s talk about something else. + +[IRINA and TUZENBACH come in through the dining-room.] + +TUZENBACH. My surname is really triple. I am called Baron +Tuzenbach-Krone-Altschauer, but I am Russian and Orthodox, the same as +you. There is very little German left in me, unless perhaps it is the +patience and the obstinacy with which I bore you. I see you home every +night. + +IRINA. How tired I am! + +TUZENBACH. And I’ll come to the telegraph office to see you home every +day for ten or twenty years, until you drive me away. [He sees MASHA and +VERSHININ; joyfully] Is that you? How do you do. + +IRINA. Well, I am home at last. [To MASHA] A lady came to-day to +telegraph to her brother in Saratov that her son died to-day, and she +couldn’t remember the address anyhow. So she sent the telegram without +an address, just to Saratov. She was crying. And for some reason or +other I was rude to her. “I’ve no time,” I said. It was so stupid. Are +the entertainers coming to-night? + +MASHA. Yes. + +IRINA. [Sitting down in an armchair] I want a rest. I am tired. + +TUZENBACH. [Smiling] When you come home from your work you seem so +young, and so unfortunate.... [Pause.] + +IRINA. I am tired. No, I don’t like the telegraph office, I don’t like +it. + +MASHA. You’ve grown thinner.... [Whistles a little] And you look +younger, and your face has become like a boy’s. + +TUZENBACH. That’s the way she does her hair. + +IRINA. I must find another job, this one won’t do for me. What I wanted, +what I hoped to get, just that is lacking here. Labour without poetry, +without ideas.... [A knock on the floor] The doctor is knocking. [To +TUZENBACH] Will you knock, dear. I can’t... I’m tired.... [TUZENBACH +knocks] He’ll come in a minute. Something ought to be done. Yesterday +the doctor and Andrey played cards at the club and lost money. Andrey +seems to have lost 200 roubles. + +MASHA. [With indifference] What can we do now? + +IRINA. He lost money a fortnight ago, he lost money in December. Perhaps +if he lost everything we should go away from this town. Oh, my God, I +dream of Moscow every night. I’m just like a lunatic. [Laughs] We go +there in June, and before June there’s still... February, March, April, +May... nearly half a year! + +MASHA. Only Natasha mustn’t get to know of these losses. + +IRINA. I expect it will be all the same to her. + +[CHEBUTIKIN, who has only just got out of bed--he was resting after +dinner--comes into the dining-room and combs his beard. He then sits by +the table and takes a newspaper from his pocket.] + +MASHA. Here he is.... Has he paid his rent? + +IRINA. [Laughs] No. He’s been here eight months and hasn’t paid a +copeck. Seems to have forgotten. + +MASHA. [Laughs] What dignity in his pose! [They all laugh. A pause.] + +IRINA. Why are you so silent, Alexander Ignateyevitch? + +VERSHININ. I don’t know. I want some tea. Half my life for a tumbler of +tea: I haven’t had anything since morning. + +CHEBUTIKIN. Irina Sergeyevna! + +IRINA. What is it? + +CHEBUTIKIN. Please come here, Venez ici. [IRINA goes and sits by the +table] I can’t do without you. [IRINA begins to play patience.] + +VERSHININ. Well, if we can’t have any tea, let’s philosophize, at any +rate. + +TUZENBACH. Yes, let’s. About what? + +VERSHININ. About what? Let us meditate... about life as it will be after +our time; for example, in two or three hundred years. + +TUZENBACH. Well? After our time people will fly about in balloons, the +cut of one’s coat will change, perhaps they’ll discover a sixth sense +and develop it, but life will remain the same, laborious, mysterious, +and happy. And in a thousand years’ time, people will still be sighing: +“Life is hard!”--and at the same time they’ll be just as afraid of +death, and unwilling to meet it, as we are. + +VERSHININ. [Thoughtfully] How can I put it? It seems to me that +everything on earth must change, little by little, and is already +changing under our very eyes. After two or three hundred years, after +a thousand--the actual time doesn’t matter--a new and happy age will +begin. We, of course, shall not take part in it, but we live and work +and even suffer to-day that it should come. We create it--and in that +one object is our destiny and, if you like, our happiness. + +[MASHA laughs softly.] + +TUZENBACH. What is it? + +MASHA. I don’t know. I’ve been laughing all day, ever since morning. + +VERSHININ. I finished my education at the same point as you, I have not +studied at universities; I read a lot, but I cannot choose my books and +perhaps what I read is not at all what I should, but the longer I love, +the more I want to know. My hair is turning white, I am nearly an old +man now, but I know so little, oh, so little! But I think I know the +things that matter most, and that are most real. I know them well. And I +wish I could make you understand that there is no happiness for us, +that there should not and cannot be.... We must only work and work, and +happiness is only for our distant posterity. [Pause] If not for me, then +for the descendants of my descendants. + +[FEDOTIK and RODE come into the dining-room; they sit and sing softly, +strumming on a guitar.] + +TUZENBACH. According to you, one should not even think about happiness! +But suppose I am happy! + +VERSHININ. No. + +TUZENBACH. [Moves his hands and laughs] We do not seem to understand +each other. How can I convince you? [MASHA laughs quietly, TUZENBACH +continues, pointing at her] Yes, laugh! [To VERSHININ] Not only after +two or three centuries, but in a million years, life will still be as it +was; life does not change, it remains for ever, following its own laws +which do not concern us, or which, at any rate, you will never find out. +Migrant birds, cranes for example, fly and fly, and whatever thoughts, +high or low, enter their heads, they will still fly and not know why or +where. They fly and will continue to fly, whatever philosophers come to +life among them; they may philosophize as much as they like, only they +will fly.... + +MASHA. Still, is there a meaning? + +TUZENBACH. A meaning.... Now the snow is falling. What meaning? [Pause.] + +MASHA. It seems to me that a man must have faith, or must search for a +faith, or his life will be empty, empty.... To live and not to know why +the cranes fly, why babies are born, why there are stars in the sky.... +Either you must know why you live, or everything is trivial, not worth a +straw. [A pause.] + +VERSHININ. Still, I am sorry that my youth has gone. + +MASHA. Gogol says: life in this world is a dull matter, my masters! + +TUZENBACH. And I say it’s difficult to argue with you, my masters! Hang +it all. + +CHEBUTIKIN. [Reading] Balzac was married at Berdichev. [IRINA is singing +softly] That’s worth making a note of. [He makes a note] Balzac was +married at Berdichev. [Goes on reading.] + +IRINA. [Laying out cards, thoughtfully] Balzac was married at Berdichev. + +TUZENBACH. The die is cast. I’ve handed in my resignation, Maria +Sergeyevna. + +MASHA. So I heard. I don’t see what good it is; I don’t like civilians. + +TUZENBACH. Never mind.... [Gets up] I’m not handsome; what use am I as a +soldier? Well, it makes no difference... I shall work. If only just once +in my life I could work so that I could come home in the evening, +fall exhausted on my bed, and go to sleep at once. [Going into the +dining-room] Workmen, I suppose, do sleep soundly! + +FEDOTIK. [To IRINA] I bought some coloured pencils for you at Pizhikov’s +in the Moscow Road, just now. And here is a little knife. + +IRINA. You have got into the habit of behaving to me as if I am a little +girl, but I am grown up. [Takes the pencils and the knife, then, with +joy] How lovely! + +FEDOTIK. And I bought myself a knife... look at it... one blade, +another, a third, an ear-scoop, scissors, nail-cleaners. + +RODE. [Loudly] Doctor, how old are you? + +CHEBUTIKIN. I? Thirty-two. [Laughter] + +FEDOTIK. I’ll show you another kind of patience.... [Lays out cards.] + +[A samovar is brought in; ANFISA attends to it; a little later NATASHA +enters and helps by the table; SOLENI arrives and, after greetings, sits +by the table.] + +VERSHININ. What a wind! + +MASHA. Yes. I’m tired of winter. I’ve already forgotten what summer’s +like. + +IRINA. It’s coming out, I see. We’re going to Moscow. + +FEDOTIK. No, it won’t come out. Look, the eight was on the two of +spades. [Laughs] That means you won’t go to Moscow. + +CHEBUTIKIN. [Reading paper] Tsitsigar. Smallpox is raging here. + +ANFISA. [Coming up to MASHA] Masha, have some tea, little mother. [To +VERSHININ] Please have some, sir... excuse me, but I’ve forgotten your +name.... + +MASHA. Bring some here, nurse. I shan’t go over there. + +IRINA. Nurse! + +ANFISA. Coming, coming! + +NATASHA. [To SOLENI] Children at the breast understand perfectly. I said +“Good morning, Bobby; good morning, dear!” And he looked at me in quite +an unusual way. You think it’s only the mother in me that is speaking; I +assure you that isn’t so! He’s a wonderful child. + +SOLENI. If he was my child I’d roast him on a frying-pan and eat him. +[Takes his tumbler into the drawing-room and sits in a corner.] + +NATASHA. [Covers her face in her hands] Vulgar, ill-bred man! + +MASHA. He’s lucky who doesn’t notice whether it’s winter now, or summer. +I think that if I were in Moscow, I shouldn’t mind about the weather. + +VERSHININ. A few days ago I was reading the prison diary of a French +minister. He had been sentenced on account of the Panama scandal. With +what joy, what delight, he speaks of the birds he saw through the prison +windows, which he had never noticed while he was a minister. Now, of +course, that he is at liberty, he notices birds no more than he did +before. When you go to live in Moscow you’ll not notice it, in just +the same way. There can be no happiness for us, it only exists in our +wishes. + +TUZENBACH. [Takes cardboard box from the table] Where are the pastries? + +IRINA. Soleni has eaten them. + +TUZENBACH. All of them? + +ANFISA. [Serving tea] There’s a letter for you. + +VERSHININ. For me? [Takes the letter] From my daughter. [Reads] Yes, of +course... I will go quietly. Excuse me, Maria Sergeyevna. I shan’t have +any tea. [Stands up, excited] That eternal story.... + +MASHA. What is it? Is it a secret? + +VERSHININ. [Quietly] My wife has poisoned herself again. I must go. I’ll +go out quietly. It’s all awfully unpleasant. [Kisses MASHA’S hand] My +dear, my splendid, good woman... I’ll go this way, quietly. [Exit.] + +ANFISA. Where has he gone? And I’d served tea.... What a man. + +MASHA. [Angrily] Be quiet! You bother so one can’t have a moment’s +peace.... [Goes to the table with her cup] I’m tired of you, old woman! + +ANFISA. My dear! Why are you offended! + +ANDREY’S VOICE. Anfisa! + +ANFISA. [Mocking] Anfisa! He sits there and... [Exit.] + +MASHA. [In the dining-room, by the table angrily] Let me sit down! +[Disturbs the cards on the table] Here you are, spreading your cards +out. Have some tea! + +IRINA. You are cross, Masha. + +MASHA. If I am cross, then don’t talk to me. Don’t touch me! + +CHEBUTIKIN. Don’t touch her, don’t touch her.... + +MASHA. You’re sixty, but you’re like a boy, always up to some beastly +nonsense. + +NATASHA. [Sighs] Dear Masha, why use such expressions? With your +beautiful exterior you would be simply fascinating in good society, +I tell you so directly, if it wasn’t for your words. _Je vous prie, +pardonnez moi, Marie, mais vous avez des manières un peu grossières_. + +TUZENBACH. [Restraining his laughter] Give me... give me... there’s some +cognac, I think. + +NATASHA. _Il parait, que mon Bobick déjà ne dort pas_, he has awakened. +He isn’t well to-day. I’ll go to him, excuse me... [Exit.] + +IRINA. Where has Alexander Ignateyevitch gone? + +MASHA. Home. Something extraordinary has happened to his wife again. + +TUZENBACH. [Goes to SOLENI with a cognac-flask in his hands] You go on +sitting by yourself, thinking of something--goodness knows what. Come +and let’s make peace. Let’s have some cognac. [They drink] I expect I’ll +have to play the piano all night, some rubbish most likely... well, so +be it! + +SOLENI. Why make peace? I haven’t quarrelled with you. + +TUZENBACH. You always make me feel as if something has taken place +between us. You’ve a strange character, you must admit. + +SOLENI. [Declaims] “I am strange, but who is not? Don’t be angry, +Aleko!” + +TUZENBACH. And what has Aleko to do with it? [Pause.] + +SOLENI. When I’m with one other man I behave just like everybody else, +but in company I’m dull and shy and... talk all manner of rubbish. But +I’m more honest and more honourable than very, very many people. And I +can prove it. + +TUZENBACH. I often get angry with you, you always fasten on to me +in company, but I like you all the same. I’m going to drink my fill +to-night, whatever happens. Drink, now! + +SOLENI. Let’s drink. [They drink] I never had anything against you, +Baron. But my character is like Lermontov’s [In a low voice] I even +rather resemble Lermontov, they say.... [Takes a scent-bottle from his +pocket, and scents his hands.] + +TUZENBACH. I’ve sent in my resignation. Basta! I’ve been thinking about +it for five years, and at last made up my mind. I shall work. + +SOLENI. [Declaims] “Do not be angry, Aleko... forget, forget, thy dreams +of yore....” + +[While he is speaking ANDREY enters quietly with a book, and sits by the +table.] + +TUZENBACH. I shall work. + +CHEBUTIKIN. [Going with IRINA into the dining-room] And the food was +also real Caucasian onion soup, and, for a roast, some chehartma. + +SOLENI. Cheremsha [Note: A variety of garlic.] isn’t meat at all, but a +plant something like an onion. + +CHEBUTIKIN. No, my angel. Chehartma isn’t onion, but roast mutton. + +SOLENI. And I tell you, chehartma--is a sort of onion. + +CHEBUTIKIN. And I tell you, chehartma--is mutton. + +SOLENI. And I tell you, cheremsha--is a sort of onion. + +CHEBUTIKIN. What’s the use of arguing! You’ve never been in the +Caucasus, and never ate any chehartma. + +SOLENI. I never ate it, because I hate it. It smells like garlic. + +ANDREY. [Imploring] Please, please! I ask you! + +TUZENBACH. When are the entertainers coming? + +IRINA. They promised for about nine; that is, quite soon. + +TUZENBACH. [Embraces ANDREY] + + “Oh my house, my house, my new-built house.” + +ANDREY. [Dances and sings] “Newly-built of maple-wood.” + +CHEBUTIKIN. [Dances] + + “Its walls are like a sieve!” [Laughter.] + +TUZENBACH. [Kisses ANDREY] Hang it all, let’s drink. Andrey, old boy, +let’s drink with you. And I’ll go with you, Andrey, to the University of +Moscow. + +SOLENI. Which one? There are two universities in Moscow. + +ANDREY. There’s one university in Moscow. + +SOLENI. Two, I tell you. + +ANDREY. Don’t care if there are three. So much the better. + +SOLENI. There are two universities in Moscow! [There are murmurs and +“hushes”] There are two universities in Moscow, the old one and the new +one. And if you don’t like to listen, if my words annoy you, then I need +not speak. I can even go into another room.... [Exit.] + +TUZENBACH. Bravo, bravo! [Laughs] Come on, now. I’m going to play. Funny +man, Soleni.... [Goes to the piano and plays a waltz.] + +MASHA. [Dancing solo] The Baron’s drunk, the Baron’s drunk, the Baron’s +drunk! + +[NATASHA comes in.] + +NATASHA. [To CHEBUTIKIN] Ivan Romanovitch! + +[Says something to CHEBUTIKIN, then goes out quietly; CHEBUTIKIN touches +TUZENBACH on the shoulder and whispers something to him.] + +IRINA. What is it? + +CHEBUTIKIN. Time for us to go. Good-bye. + +TUZENBACH. Good-night. It’s time we went. + +IRINA. But, really, the entertainers? + +ANDREY. [In confusion] There won’t be any entertainers. You see, dear, +Natasha says that Bobby isn’t quite well, and so.... In a word, I don’t +care, and it’s absolutely all one to me. + +IRINA. [Shrugging her shoulders] Bobby ill! + +MASHA. What is she thinking of! Well, if they are sent home, I suppose +they must go. [To IRINA] Bobby’s all right, it’s she herself.... Here! +[Taps her forehead] Little bourgeoise! + +[ANDREY goes to his room through the right-hand door, CHEBUTIKIN follows +him. In the dining-room they are saying good-bye.] + +FEDOTIK. What a shame! I was expecting to spend the evening here, but of +course, if the little baby is ill... I’ll bring him some toys to-morrow. + +RODE. [Loudly] I slept late after dinner to-day because I thought I was +going to dance all night. It’s only nine o’clock now! + +MASHA. Let’s go into the street, we can talk there. Then we can settle +things. + +(Good-byes and good nights are heard. TUZENBACH’S merry laughter is +heard. [All go out] ANFISA and the maid clear the table, and put out +the lights. [The nurse sings] ANDREY, wearing an overcoat and a hat, and +CHEBUTIKIN enter silently.) + +CHEBUTIKIN. I never managed to get married because my life flashed by +like lightning, and because I was madly in love with your mother, who +was married. + +ANDREY. One shouldn’t marry. One shouldn’t, because it’s dull. + +CHEBUTIKIN. So there I am, in my loneliness. Say what you will, +loneliness is a terrible thing, old fellow.... Though really... of +course, it absolutely doesn’t matter! + +ANDREY. Let’s be quicker. + +CHEBUTIKIN. What are you in such a hurry for? We shall be in time. + +ANDREY. I’m afraid my wife may stop me. + +CHEBUTIKIN. Ah! + +ANDREY. I shan’t play to-night, I shall only sit and look on. I don’t +feel very well.... What am I to do for my asthma, Ivan Romanovitch? + +CHEBUTIKIN. Don’t ask me! I don’t remember, old fellow, I don’t know. + +ANDREY. Let’s go through the kitchen. [They go out.] + +[A bell rings, then a second time; voices and laughter are heard.] + +IRINA. [Enters] What’s that? + +ANFISA. [Whispers] The entertainers! [Bell.] + +IRINA. Tell them there’s nobody at home, nurse. They must excuse us. + +[ANFISA goes out. IRINA walks about the room deep in thought; she is +excited. SOLENI enters.] + +SOLENI. [In surprise] There’s nobody here.... Where are they all? + +IRINA. They’ve gone home. + +SOLENI. How strange. Are you here alone? + +IRINA. Yes, alone. [A pause] Good-bye. + +SOLENI. Just now I behaved tactlessly, with insufficient reserve. But +you are not like all the others, you are noble and pure, you can see +the truth.... You alone can understand me. I love you, deeply, beyond +measure, I love you. + +IRINA. Good-bye! Go away. + +SOLENI. I cannot live without you. [Follows her] Oh, my happiness! +[Through his tears] Oh, joy! Wonderful, marvellous, glorious eyes, such +as I have never seen before.... + +IRINA. [Coldly] Stop it, Vassili Vassilevitch! + +SOLENI. This is the first time I speak to you of love, and it is as if +I am no longer on the earth, but on another planet. [Wipes his forehead] +Well, never mind. I can’t make you love me by force, of course... but I +don’t intend to have any more-favoured rivals.... No... I swear to you +by all the saints, I shall kill my rival.... Oh, beautiful one! + +[NATASHA enters with a candle; she looks in through one door, then +through another, and goes past the door leading to her husband’s room.] + +NATASHA. Here’s Andrey. Let him go on reading. Excuse me, Vassili +Vassilevitch, I did not know you were here; I am engaged in +domesticities. + +SOLENI. It’s all the same to me. Good-bye! [Exit.] + +NATASHA. You’re so tired, my poor dear girl! [Kisses IRINA] If you only +went to bed earlier. + +IRINA. Is Bobby asleep? + +NATASHA. Yes, but restlessly. By the way, dear, I wanted to tell you, +but either you weren’t at home, or I was busy... I think Bobby’s present +nursery is cold and damp. And your room would be so nice for the child. +My dear, darling girl, do change over to Olga’s for a bit! + +IRINA. [Not understanding] Where? + +[The bells of a troika are heard as it drives up to the house.] + +NATASHA. You and Olga can share a room, for the time being, and Bobby +can have yours. He’s such a darling; to-day I said to him, “Bobby, +you’re mine! Mine!” And he looked at me with his dear little eyes. +[A bell rings] It must be Olga. How late she is! [The maid enters and +whispers to NATASHA] Protopopov? What a queer man to do such a thing. +Protopopov’s come and wants me to go for a drive with him in his troika. +[Laughs] How funny these men are.... [A bell rings] Somebody has come. +Suppose I did go and have half an hour’s drive.... [To the maid] Say +I shan’t be long. [Bell rings] Somebody’s ringing, it must be Olga. +[Exit.] + +[The maid runs out; IRINA sits deep in thought; KULIGIN and OLGA enter, +followed by VERSHININ.] + +KULIGIN. Well, there you are. And you said there was going to be a +party. + +VERSHININ. It’s queer; I went away not long ago, half an hour ago, and +they were expecting entertainers. + +IRINA. They’ve all gone. + +KULIGIN. Has Masha gone too? Where has she gone? And what’s Protopopov +waiting for downstairs in his troika? Whom is he expecting? + +IRINA. Don’t ask questions... I’m tired. + +KULIGIN. Oh, you’re all whimsies.... + +OLGA. My committee meeting is only just over. I’m tired out. Our +chairwoman is ill, so I had to take her place. My head, my head is +aching.... [Sits] Andrey lost 200 roubles at cards yesterday... the +whole town is talking about it.... + +KULIGIN. Yes, my meeting tired me too. [Sits.] + +VERSHININ. My wife took it into her head to frighten me just now by +nearly poisoning herself. It’s all right now, and I’m glad; I can rest +now.... But perhaps we ought to go away? Well, my best wishes, Feodor +Ilitch, let’s go somewhere together! I can’t, I absolutely can’t stop at +home.... Come on! + +KULIGIN. I’m tired. I won’t go. [Gets up] I’m tired. Has my wife gone +home? + +IRINA. I suppose so. + +KULIGIN. [Kisses IRINA’S hand] Good-bye, I’m going to rest all day +to-morrow and the day after. Best wishes! [Going] I should like some +tea. I was looking forward to spending the whole evening in pleasant +company and--o, fallacem hominum spem!... Accusative case after an +interjection.... + +VERSHININ. Then I’ll go somewhere by myself. [Exit with KULIGIN, +whistling.] + +OLGA. I’ve such a headache... Andrey has been losing money.... The whole +town is talking.... I’ll go and lie down. [Going] I’m free to-morrow.... +Oh, my God, what a mercy! I’m free to-morrow, I’m free the day after.... +Oh my head, my head.... [Exit.] + +IRINA. [alone] They’ve all gone. Nobody’s left. + +[A concertina is being played in the street. The nurse sings.] + +NATASHA. [in fur coat and cap, steps across the dining-room, followed +by the maid] I’ll be back in half an hour. I’m only going for a little +drive. [Exit.] + +IRINA. [Alone in her misery] To Moscow! Moscow! Moscow! + +Curtain. + + + + +ACT III + +[The room shared by OLGA and IRINA. Beds, screened off, on the right and +left. It is past 2 a.m. Behind the stage a fire-alarm is ringing; it has +apparently been going for some time. Nobody in the house has gone to bed +yet. MASHA is lying on a sofa dressed, as usual, in black. Enter OLGA +and ANFISA.] + +ANFISA. Now they are downstairs, sitting under the stairs. I said to +them, “Won’t you come up,” I said, “You can’t go on like this,” and they +simply cried, “We don’t know where father is.” They said, “He may be +burnt up by now.” What an idea! And in the yard there are some people... +also undressed. + +OLGA. [Takes a dress out of the cupboard] Take this grey dress.... And +this... and the blouse as well.... Take the skirt, too, nurse.... My +God! How awful it is! The whole of the Kirsanovsky Road seems to have +burned down. Take this... and this.... [Throws clothes into her hands] +The poor Vershinins are so frightened.... Their house was nearly burnt. +They ought to come here for the night.... They shouldn’t be allowed +to go home.... Poor Fedotik is completely burnt out, there’s nothing +left.... + +ANFISA. Couldn’t you call Ferapont, Olga dear. I can hardly manage.... + +OLGA. [Rings] They’ll never answer.... [At the door] Come here, whoever +there is! [Through the open door can be seen a window, red with flame: +afire-engine is heard passing the house] How awful this is. And how I’m +sick of it! [FERAPONT enters] Take these things down.... The Kolotilin +girls are down below... and let them have them. This, too. + +FERAPONT. Yes’m. In the year twelve Moscow was burning too. Oh, my God! +The Frenchmen were surprised. + +OLGA. Go on, go on.... + +FERAPONT. Yes’m. [Exit.] + +OLGA. Nurse, dear, let them have everything. We don’t want anything. +Give it all to them, nurse.... I’m tired, I can hardly keep on my +legs.... The Vershinins mustn’t be allowed to go home.... The girls can +sleep in the drawing-room, and Alexander Ignateyevitch can go downstairs +to the Baron’s flat... Fedotik can go there, too, or else into our +dining-room.... The doctor is drunk, beastly drunk, as if on purpose, +so nobody can go to him. Vershinin’s wife, too, may go into the +drawing-room. + +ANFISA. [Tired] Olga, dear girl, don’t dismiss me! Don’t dismiss me! + +OLGA. You’re talking nonsense, nurse. Nobody is dismissing you. + +ANFISA. [Puts OLGA’S head against her bosom] My dear, precious girl, I’m +working, I’m toiling away... I’m growing weak, and they’ll all say go +away! And where shall I go? Where? I’m eighty. Eighty-one years old.... + +OLGA. You sit down, nurse dear.... You’re tired, poor dear.... [Makes +her sit down] Rest, dear. You’re so pale! + +[NATASHA comes in.] + +NATASHA. They are saying that a committee to assist the sufferers from +the fire must be formed at once. What do you think of that? It’s a +beautiful idea. Of course the poor ought to be helped, it’s the duty of +the rich. Bobby and little Sophy are sleeping, sleeping as if nothing at +all was the matter. There’s such a lot of people here, the place is full +of them, wherever you go. There’s influenza in the town now. I’m afraid +the children may catch it. + +OLGA. [Not attending] In this room we can’t see the fire, it’s quiet +here. + +NATASHA. Yes... I suppose I’m all untidy. [Before the looking-glass] +They say I’m growing stout... it isn’t true! Certainly it isn’t! Masha’s +asleep; the poor thing is tired out.... [Coldly, to ANFISA] Don’t dare +to be seated in my presence! Get up! Out of this! [Exit ANFISA; a pause] +I don’t understand what makes you keep on that old woman! + +OLGA. [Confusedly] Excuse me, I don’t understand either... + +NATASHA. She’s no good here. She comes from the country, she ought to +live there.... Spoiling her, I call it! I like order in the house! +We don’t want any unnecessary people here. [Strokes her cheek] You’re +tired, poor thing! Our head mistress is tired! And when my little Sophie +grows up and goes to school I shall be so afraid of you. + +OLGA. I shan’t be head mistress. + +NATASHA. They’ll appoint you, Olga. It’s settled. + +OLGA. I’ll refuse the post. I can’t... I’m not strong enough.... [Drinks +water] You were so rude to nurse just now... I’m sorry. I can’t stand +it... everything seems dark in front of me.... + +NATASHA. [Excited] Forgive me, Olga, forgive me... I didn’t want to +annoy you. + +[MASHA gets up, takes a pillow and goes out angrily.] + +OLGA. Remember, dear... we have been brought up, in an unusual way, +perhaps, but I can’t bear this. Such behaviour has a bad effect on me, I +get ill... I simply lose heart! + +NATASHA. Forgive me, forgive me.... [Kisses her.] + +OLGA. Even the least bit of rudeness, the slightest impoliteness, upsets +me. + +NATASHA. I often say too much, it’s true, but you must agree, dear, that +she could just as well live in the country. + +OLGA. She has been with us for thirty years. + +NATASHA. But she can’t do any work now. Either I don’t understand, or +you don’t want to understand me. She’s no good for work, she can only +sleep or sit about. + +OLGA. And let her sit about. + +NATASHA. [Surprised] What do you mean? She’s only a servant. [Crying] I +don’t understand you, Olga. I’ve got a nurse, a wet-nurse, we’ve a cook, +a housemaid... what do we want that old woman for as well? What good is +she? [Fire-alarm behind the stage.] + +OLGA. I’ve grown ten years older to-night. + +NATASHA. We must come to an agreement, Olga. Your place is the school, +mine--the home. You devote yourself to teaching, I, to the household. +And if I talk about servants, then I do know what I am talking about; I +do know what I am talking about... And to-morrow there’s to be no more +of that old thief, that old hag... [Stamping] that witch! And don’t you +dare to annoy me! Don’t you dare! [Stopping short] Really, if you don’t +move downstairs, we shall always be quarrelling. This is awful. + +[Enter KULIGIN.] + +KULIGIN. Where’s Masha? It’s time we went home. The fire seems to be +going down. [Stretches himself] Only one block has burnt down, but there +was such a wind that it seemed at first the whole town was going to +burn. [Sits] I’m tired out. My dear Olga... I often think that if +it hadn’t been for Masha, I should have married you. You are awfully +nice.... I am absolutely tired out. [Listens.] + +OLGA. What is it? + +KULIGIN. The doctor, of course, has been drinking hard; he’s terribly +drunk. He might have done it on purpose! [Gets up] He seems to be coming +here.... Do you hear him? Yes, here.... [Laughs] What a man... really... +I’ll hide myself. [Goes to the cupboard and stands in the corner] What a +rogue. + +OLGA. He hadn’t touched a drop for two years, and now he suddenly goes +and gets drunk.... + +[Retires with NATASHA to the back of the room. CHEBUTIKIN enters; +apparently sober, he stops, looks round, then goes to the wash-stand and +begins to wash his hands.] + +CHEBUTIKIN. [Angrily] Devil take them all... take them all.... They +think I’m a doctor and can cure everything, and I know absolutely +nothing, I’ve forgotten all I ever knew, I remember nothing, absolutely +nothing. [OLGA and NATASHA go out, unnoticed by him] Devil take it. Last +Wednesday I attended a woman in Zasip--and she died, and it’s my fault +that she died. Yes... I used to know a certain amount five-and-twenty +years ago, but I don’t remember anything now. Nothing. Perhaps I’m not +really a man, and am only pretending that I’ve got arms and legs and a +head; perhaps I don’t exist at all, and only imagine that I walk, and +eat, and sleep. [Cries] Oh, if only I didn’t exist! [Stops crying; +angrily] The devil only knows.... Day before yesterday they were talking +in the club; they said, Shakespeare, Voltaire... I’d never read, never +read at all, and I put on an expression as if I had read. And so did the +others. Oh, how beastly! How petty! And then I remembered the woman +I killed on Wednesday... and I couldn’t get her out of my mind, and +everything in my mind became crooked, nasty, wretched.... So I went and +drank.... + +[IRINA, VERSHININ and TUZENBACH enter; TUZENBACH is wearing new and +fashionable civilian clothes.] + +IRINA. Let’s sit down here. Nobody will come in here. + +VERSHININ. The whole town would have been destroyed if it hadn’t been +for the soldiers. Good men! [Rubs his hands appreciatively] Splendid +people! Oh, what a fine lot! + +KULIGIN. [Coming up to him] What’s the time? + +TUZENBACH. It’s past three now. It’s dawning. + +IRINA. They are all sitting in the dining-room, nobody is going. And +that Soleni of yours is sitting there. [To CHEBUTIKIN] Hadn’t you better +be going to sleep, doctor? + +CHEBUTIKIN. It’s all right... thank you.... [Combs his beard.] + +KULIGIN. [Laughs] Speaking’s a bit difficult, eh, Ivan Romanovitch! +[Pats him on the shoulder] Good man! _In vino veritas_, the ancients +used to say. + +TUZENBACH. They keep on asking me to get up a concert in aid of the +sufferers. + +IRINA. As if one could do anything.... + +TUZENBACH. It might be arranged, if necessary. In my opinion Maria +Sergeyevna is an excellent pianist. + +KULIGIN. Yes, excellent! + +IRINA. She’s forgotten everything. She hasn’t played for three years... +or four. + +TUZENBACH. In this town absolutely nobody understands music, not a soul +except myself, but I do understand it, and assure you on my word of +honour that Maria Sergeyevna plays excellently, almost with genius. + +KULIGIN. You are right, Baron, I’m awfully fond of Masha. She’s very +fine. + +TUZENBACH. To be able to play so admirably and to realize at the same +time that nobody, nobody can understand you! + +KULIGIN. [Sighs] Yes.... But will it be quite all right for her to take +part in a concert? [Pause] You see, I don’t know anything about it. +Perhaps it will even be all to the good. Although I must admit that our +Director is a good man, a very good man even, a very clever man, still +he has such views.... Of course it isn’t his business but still, if you +wish it, perhaps I’d better talk to him. + +[CHEBUTIKIN takes a porcelain clock into his hands and examines it.] + +VERSHININ. I got so dirty while the fire was on, I don’t look like +anybody on earth. [Pause] Yesterday I happened to hear, casually, that +they want to transfer our brigade to some distant place. Some said to +Poland, others, to Chita. + +TUZENBACH. I heard so, too. Well, if it is so, the town will be quite +empty. + +IRINA. And we’ll go away, too! + +CHEBUTIKIN. [Drops the clock which breaks to pieces] To smithereens! + +[A pause; everybody is pained and confused.] + +KULIGIN. [Gathering up the pieces] To smash such a valuable object--oh, +Ivan Romanovitch, Ivan Romanovitch! A very bad mark for your +misbehaviour! + +IRINA. That clock used to belong to our mother. + +CHEBUTIKIN. Perhaps.... To your mother, your mother. Perhaps I didn’t +break it; it only looks as if I broke it. Perhaps we only think that +we exist, when really we don’t. I don’t know anything, nobody knows +anything. [At the door] What are you looking at? Natasha has a little +romance with Protopopov, and you don’t see it.... There you sit and see +nothing, and Natasha has a little romance with Protopovov.... [Sings] +Won’t you please accept this date.... [Exit.] + +VERSHININ. Yes. [Laughs] How strange everything really is! [Pause] When +the fire broke out, I hurried off home; when I get there I see the house +is whole, uninjured, and in no danger, but my two girls are standing by +the door in just their underclothes, their mother isn’t there, the crowd +is excited, horses and dogs are running about, and the girls’ faces are +so agitated, terrified, beseeching, and I don’t know what else. My heart +was pained when I saw those faces. My God, I thought, what these girls +will have to put up with if they live long! I caught them up and ran, +and still kept on thinking the one thing: what they will have to live +through in this world! [Fire-alarm; a pause] I come here and find their +mother shouting and angry. [MASHA enters with a pillow and sits on +the sofa] And when my girls were standing by the door in just their +underclothes, and the street was red from the fire, there was a dreadful +noise, and I thought that something of the sort used to happen many +years ago when an enemy made a sudden attack, and looted, and burned.... +And at the same time what a difference there really is between the +present and the past! And when a little more time has gone by, in two or +three hundred years perhaps, people will look at our present life with +just the same fear, and the same contempt, and the whole past will seem +clumsy and dull, and very uncomfortable, and strange. Oh, indeed, what a +life there will be, what a life! [Laughs] Forgive me, I’ve dropped +into philosophy again. Please let me continue. I do awfully want to +philosophize, it’s just how I feel at present. [Pause] As if they +are all asleep. As I was saying: what a life there will be! Only just +imagine.... There are only three persons like yourselves in the town +just now, but in future generations there will be more and more, and +still more, and the time will come when everything will change and +become as you would have it, people will live as you do, and then you +too will go out of date; people will be born who are better than +you.... [Laughs] Yes, to-day I am quite exceptionally in the vein. I am +devilishly keen on living.... [Sings.] + + “The power of love all ages know, + From its assaults great good does grow.” [Laughs.] + +MASHA. Trum-tum-tum... + +VERSHININ. Tum-tum... + +MASHA. Tra-ra-ra? + +VERSHININ. Tra-ta-ta. [Laughs.] + +[Enter FEDOTIK.] + +FEDOTIK. [Dancing] I’m burnt out, I’m burnt out! Down to the ground! +[Laughter.] + +IRINA. I don’t see anything funny about it. Is everything burnt? + +FEDOTIK. [Laughs] Absolutely. Nothing left at all. The guitar’s burnt, +and the photographs are burnt, and all my correspondence.... And I was +going to make you a present of a note-book, and that’s burnt too. + +[SOLENI comes in.] + +IRINA. No, you can’t come here, Vassili Vassilevitch. Please go away. + +SOLENI. Why can the Baron come here and I can’t? + +VERSHININ. We really must go. How’s the fire? + +SOLENI. They say it’s going down. No, I absolutely don’t see why the +Baron can, and I can’t? [Scents his hands.] + +VERSHININ. Trum-tum-tum. + +MASHA. Trum-tum. + +VERSHININ. [Laughs to SOLENI] Let’s go into the dining-room. + +SOLENI. Very well, we’ll make a note of it. “If I should try to make +this clear, the geese would be annoyed, I fear.” [Looks at TUZENBACH] +There, there, there.... [Goes out with VERSHININ and FEDOTIK.] + +IRINA. How Soleni smelt of tobacco.... [In surprise] The Baron’s asleep! +Baron! Baron! + +TUZENBACH. [Waking] I am tired, I must say.... The brickworks.... +No, I’m not wandering, I mean it; I’m going to start work soon at the +brickworks... I’ve already talked it over. [Tenderly, to IRINA] You’re +so pale, and beautiful, and charming.... Your paleness seems to shine +through the dark air as if it was a light.... You are sad, displeased +with life.... Oh, come with me, let’s go and work together! + +MASHA. Nicolai Lvovitch, go away from here. + +TUZENBACH. [Laughs] Are you here? I didn’t see you. [Kisses IRINA’S +hand] good-bye, I’ll go... I look at you now and I remember, as if it +was long ago, your name-day, when you, cheerfully and merrily, were +talking about the joys of labour.... And how happy life seemed to me, +then! What has happened to it now? [Kisses her hand] There are tears in +your eyes. Go to bed now; it is already day... the morning begins.... If +only I was allowed to give my life for you! + +MASHA. Nicolai Lvovitch, go away! What business... + +TUZENBACH. I’m off. [Exit.] + +MASHA. [Lies down] Are you asleep, Feodor? + +KULIGIN. Eh? + +MASHA. Shouldn’t you go home. + +KULIGIN. My dear Masha, my darling Masha.... + +IRINA. She’s tired out. You might let her rest, Fedia. + +KULIGIN. I’ll go at once. My wife’s a good, splendid... I love you, my +only one.... + +MASHA. [Angrily] Amo, amas, amat, amamus, amatis, amant. + +KULIGIN. [Laughs] No, she really is wonderful. I’ve been your husband +seven years, and it seems as if I was only married yesterday. On +my word. No, you really are a wonderful woman. I’m satisfied, I’m +satisfied, I’m satisfied! + +MASHA. I’m bored, I’m bored, I’m bored.... [Sits up] But I can’t get it +out of my head.... It’s simply disgraceful. It has been gnawing away at +me... I can’t keep silent. I mean about Andrey.... He has mortgaged this +house with the bank, and his wife has got all the money; but the house +doesn’t belong to him alone, but to the four of us! He ought to know +that, if he’s an honourable man. + +KULIGIN. What’s the use, Masha? Andrey is in debt all round; well, let +him do as he pleases. + +MASHA. It’s disgraceful, anyway. [Lies down] + +KULIGIN. You and I are not poor. I work, take my classes, give private +lessons... I am a plain, honest man... _Omnia mea mecum porto_, as they +say. + +MASHA. I don’t want anything, but the unfairness of it disgusts me. +[Pause] You go, Feodor. + +KULIGIN. [Kisses her] You’re tired, just rest for half an hour, and I’ll +sit and wait for you. Sleep.... [Going] I’m satisfied, I’m satisfied, +I’m satisfied. [Exit.] + +IRINA. Yes, really, our Andrey has grown smaller; how he’s snuffed +out and aged with that woman! He used to want to be a professor, and +yesterday he was boasting that at last he had been made a member of the +district council. He is a member, and Protopopov is chairman.... The +whole town talks and laughs about it, and he alone knows and sees +nothing.... And now everybody’s gone to look at the fire, but he sits +alone in his room and pays no attention, only just plays on his fiddle. +[Nervily] Oh, it’s awful, awful, awful. [Weeps] I can’t, I can’t bear it +any longer!... I can’t, I can’t!... [OLGA comes in and clears up at her +little table. IRINA is sobbing loudly] Throw me out, throw me out, I +can’t bear any more! + +OLGA. [Alarmed] What is it, what is it? Dear! + +IRINA. [Sobbing] Where? Where has everything gone? Where is it all? +Oh my God, my God! I’ve forgotten everything, everything... I don’t +remember what is the Italian for window or, well, for ceiling... I +forget everything, every day I forget it, and life passes and will never +return, and we’ll never go away to Moscow... I see that we’ll never +go.... + +OLGA. Dear, dear.... + +IRINA. [Controlling herself] Oh, I am unhappy... I can’t work, I shan’t +work. Enough, enough! I used to be a telegraphist, now I work at the +town council offices, and I have nothing but hate and contempt for all +they give me to do... I am already twenty-three, I have already been +at work for a long while, and my brain has dried up, and I’ve grown +thinner, plainer, older, and there is no relief of any sort, and time +goes and it seems all the while as if I am going away from the real, the +beautiful life, farther and farther away, down some precipice. I’m in +despair and I can’t understand how it is that I am still alive, that I +haven’t killed myself. + +OLGA. Don’t cry, dear girl, don’t cry... I suffer, too. + +IRINA. I’m not crying, not crying.... Enough.... Look, I’m not crying +any more. Enough... enough! + +OLGA. Dear, I tell you as a sister and a friend if you want my advice, +marry the Baron. [IRINA cries softly] You respect him, you think highly +of him.... It is true that he is not handsome, but he is so honourable +and clean... people don’t marry from love, but in order to do one’s +duty. I think so, at any rate, and I’d marry without being in love. +Whoever he was, I should marry him, so long as he was a decent man. Even +if he was old.... + +IRINA. I was always waiting until we should be settled in Moscow, there +I should meet my true love; I used to think about him, and love him.... +But it’s all turned out to be nonsense, all nonsense.... + +OLGA. [Embraces her sister] My dear, beautiful sister, I understand +everything; when Baron Nicolai Lvovitch left the army and came to us in +evening dress, [Note: I.e. in the correct dress for making a proposal of +marriage.] he seemed so bad-looking to me that I even started crying.... +He asked, “What are you crying for?” How could I tell him! But if God +brought him to marry you, I should be happy. That would be different, +quite different. + +[NATASHA with a candle walks across the stage from right to left without +saying anything.] + +MASHA. [Sitting up] She walks as if she’s set something on fire. + +OLGA. Masha, you’re silly, you’re the silliest of the family. Please +forgive me for saying so. [Pause.] + +MASHA. I want to make a confession, dear sisters. My soul is in pain. +I will confess to you, and never again to anybody... I’ll tell you this +minute. [Softly] It’s my secret but you must know everything... I can’t +be silent.... [Pause] I love, I love... I love that man.... You saw him +only just now.... Why don’t I say it... in one word. I love Vershinin. + +OLGA. [Goes behind her screen] Stop that, I don’t hear you in any case. + +MASHA. What am I to do? [Takes her head in her hands] First he seemed +queer to me, then I was sorry for him... then I fell in love with +him... fell in love with his voice, his words, his misfortunes, his two +daughters. + +OLGA. [Behind the screen] I’m not listening. You may talk any nonsense +you like, it will be all the same, I shan’t hear. + +MASHA. Oh, Olga, you are foolish. I am in love--that means that is to be +my fate. It means that is to be my lot.... And he loves me.... It is all +awful. Yes; it isn’t good, is it? [Takes IRINA’S hand and draws her to +her] Oh, my dear.... How are we going to live through our lives, what is +to become of us.... When you read a novel it all seems so old and easy, +but when you fall in love yourself, then you learn that nobody knows +anything, and each must decide for himself.... My dear ones, my +sisters... I’ve confessed, now I shall keep silence.... Like the +lunatics in Gogol’s story, I’m going to be silent... silent... + +[ANDREY enters, followed by FERAPONT.] + +ANDREY. [Angrily] What do you want? I don’t understand. + +FERAPONT. [At the door, impatiently] I’ve already told you ten times, +Andrey Sergeyevitch. + +ANDREY. In the first place I’m not Andrey Sergeyevitch, but sir. [Note: +Quite literally, “your high honour,” to correspond to Andrey’s rank as a +civil servant.] + +FERAPONT. The firemen, sir, ask if they can go across your garden to the +river. Else they go right round, right round; it’s a nuisance. + +ANDREY. All right. Tell them it’s all right. [Exit FERAPONT] I’m tired +of them. Where is Olga? [OLGA comes out from behind the screen] I came +to you for the key of the cupboard. I lost my own. You’ve got a little +key. [OLGA gives him the key; IRINA goes behind her screen; pause] What +a huge fire! It’s going down now. Hang it all, that Ferapont made me so +angry that I talked nonsense to him.... Sir, indeed.... [A pause] Why +are you so silent, Olga? [Pause] It’s time you stopped all that nonsense +and behaved as if you were properly alive.... You are here, Masha. +Irina is here, well, since we’re all here, let’s come to a complete +understanding, once and for all. What have you against me? What is it? + +OLGA. Please don’t, Audrey dear. We’ll talk to-morrow. [Excited] What an +awful night! + +ANDREY. [Much confused] Don’t excite yourself. I ask you in perfect +calmness; what have you against me? Tell me straight. + +VERSHININ’S VOICE. Trum-tum-tum! + +MASHA. [Stands; loudly] Tra-ta-ta! [To OLGA] Goodbye, Olga, God bless +you. [Goes behind screen and kisses IRINA] Sleep well.... Good-bye, +Andrey. Go away now, they’re tired... you can explain to-morrow.... +[Exit.] + +ANDREY. I’ll only say this and go. Just now.... In the first place, +you’ve got something against Natasha, my wife; I’ve noticed it since +the very day of my marriage. Natasha is a beautiful and honest creature, +straight and honourable--that’s my opinion. I love and respect my wife; +understand it, I respect her, and I insist that others should respect +her too. I repeat, she’s an honest and honourable person, and all your +disapproval is simply silly... [Pause] In the second place, you seem to +be annoyed because I am not a professor, and am not engaged in study. +But I work for the zemstvo, I am a member of the district council, and +I consider my service as worthy and as high as the service of science. +I am a member of the district council, and I am proud of it, if you want +to know. [Pause] In the third place, I have still this to say... that I +have mortgaged the house without obtaining your permission.... For that +I am to blame, and ask to be forgiven. My debts led me into doing it... +thirty-five thousand... I do not play at cards any more, I stopped long +ago, but the chief thing I have to say in my defence is that you girls +receive a pension, and I don’t... my wages, so to speak.... [Pause.] + +KULIGIN. [At the door] Is Masha there? [Excitedly] Where is she? It’s +queer.... [Exit.] + +ANDREY. They don’t hear. Natasha is a splendid, honest person. [Walks +about in silence, then stops] When I married I thought we should be +happy... all of us.... But, my God.... [Weeps] My dear, dear sisters, +don’t believe me, don’t believe me.... [Exit.] + +[Fire-alarm. The stage is clear.] + +IRINA. [behind her screen] Olga, who’s knocking on the floor? + +OLGA. It’s doctor Ivan Romanovitch. He’s drunk. + +IRINA. What a restless night! [Pause] Olga! [Looks out] Did you hear? +They are taking the brigade away from us; it’s going to be transferred +to some place far away. + +OLGA. It’s only a rumour. + +IRINA. Then we shall be left alone.... Olga! + +OLGA. Well? + +IRINA. My dear, darling sister, I esteem, I highly value the Baron, he’s +a splendid man; I’ll marry him, I’ll consent, only let’s go to Moscow! +I implore you, let’s go! There’s nothing better than Moscow on earth! +Let’s go, Olga, let’s go! + +Curtain + + + + +ACT IV + +[The old garden at the house of the PROSOROVS. There is a long avenue +of firs, at the end of which the river can be seen. There is a forest +on the far side of the river. On the right is the terrace of the house: +bottles and tumblers are on a table here; it is evident that champagne +has just been drunk. It is midday. Every now and again passers-by walk +across the garden, from the road to the river; five soldiers go past +rapidly. CHEBUTIKIN, in a comfortable frame of mind which does not +desert him throughout the act, sits in an armchair in the garden, +waiting to be called. He wears a peaked cap and has a stick. IRINA, +KULIGIN with a cross hanging from his neck and without his moustaches, +and TUZENBACH are standing on the terrace seeing off FEDOTIK and RODE, +who are coming down into the garden; both officers are in service +uniform.] + +TUZENBACH. [Exchanges kisses with FEDOTIK] You’re a good sort, we got on +so well together. [Exchanges kisses with RODE] Once again.... Good-bye, +old man! + +IRINA. Au revoir! + +FEDOTIK. It isn’t au revoir, it’s good-bye; we’ll never meet again! + +KULIGIN. Who knows! [Wipes his eyes; smiles] Here I’ve started crying! + +IRINA. We’ll meet again sometime. + +FEDOTIK. After ten years--or fifteen? We’ll hardly know one another +then; we’ll say, “How do you do?” coldly.... [Takes a snapshot] Keep +still.... Once more, for the last time. + +RODE. [Embracing TUZENBACH] We shan’t meet again.... [Kisses IRINA’S +hand] Thank you for everything, for everything! + +FEDOTIK. [Grieved] Don’t be in such a hurry! + +TUZENBACH. We shall meet again, if God wills it. Write to us. Be sure to +write. + +RODE. [Looking round the garden] Good-bye, trees! [Shouts] Yo-ho! +[Pause] Good-bye, echo! + +KULIGIN. Best wishes. Go and get yourselves wives there in Poland.... +Your Polish wife will clasp you and call you “kochanku!” [Note: +Darling.] [Laughs.] + +FEDOTIK. [Looking at the time] There’s less than an hour left. Soleni +is the only one of our battery who is going on the barge; the rest of +us are going with the main body. Three batteries are leaving to-day, +another three to-morrow and then the town will be quiet and peaceful. + +TUZENBACH. And terribly dull. + +RODE. And where is Maria Sergeyevna? + +KULIGIN. Masha is in the garden. + +FEDOTIK. We’d like to say good-bye to her. + +RODE. Good-bye, I must go, or else I’ll start weeping.... [Quickly +embraces KULIGIN and TUZENBACH, and kisses IRINA’S hand] We’ve been so +happy here.... + +FEDOTIK. [To KULIGIN] Here’s a keepsake for you... a note-book with a +pencil.... We’ll go to the river from here.... [They go aside and both +look round.] + +RODE. [Shouts] Yo-ho! + +KULIGIN. [Shouts] Good-bye! + +[At the back of the stage FEDOTIK and RODE meet MASHA; they say good-bye +and go out with her.] + +IRINA. They’ve gone.... [Sits on the bottom step of the terrace.] + +CHEBUTIKIN. And they forgot to say good-bye to me. + +IRINA. But why is that? + +CHEBUTIKIN. I just forgot, somehow. Though I’ll soon see them again, I’m +going to-morrow. Yes... just one day left. I shall be retired in a year, +then I’ll come here again, and finish my life near you. I’ve only one +year before I get my pension.... [Puts one newspaper into his pocket and +takes another out] I’ll come here to you and change my life radically... +I’ll be so quiet... so agree... agreeable, respectable.... + +IRINA. Yes, you ought to change your life, dear man, somehow or other. + +CHEBUTIKIN. Yes, I feel it. [Sings softly.] “Tarara-boom-deay....” + +KULIGIN. We won’t reform Ivan Romanovitch! We won’t reform him! + +CHEBUTIKIN. If only I was apprenticed to you! Then I’d reform. + +IRINA. Feodor has shaved his moustache! I can’t bear to look at him. + +KULIGIN. Well, what about it? + +CHEBUTIKIN. I could tell you what your face looks like now, but it +wouldn’t be polite. + +KULIGIN. Well! It’s the custom, it’s modus vivendi. Our Director is +clean-shaven, and so I too, when I received my inspectorship, had +my moustaches removed. Nobody likes it, but it’s all one to me. I’m +satisfied. Whether I’ve got moustaches or not, I’m satisfied.... [Sits.] + +[At the back of the stage ANDREY is wheeling a perambulator containing a +sleeping infant.] + +IRINA. Ivan Romanovitch, be a darling. I’m awfully worried. You were out +on the boulevard last night; tell me, what happened? + +CHEBUTIKIN. What happened? Nothing. Quite a trifling matter. [Reads +paper] Of no importance! + +KULIGIN. They say that Soleni and the Baron met yesterday on the +boulevard near the theatre.... + +TUZENBACH. Stop! What right... [Waves his hand and goes into the house.] + +KULIGIN. Near the theatre... Soleni started behaving offensively to the +Baron, who lost his temper and said something nasty.... + +CHEBUTIKIN. I don’t know. It’s all bunkum. + +KULIGIN. At some seminary or other a master wrote “bunkum” on an essay, +and the student couldn’t make the letters out--thought it was a Latin +word “luckum.” [Laughs] Awfully funny, that. They say that Soleni is in +love with Irina and hates the Baron.... That’s quite natural. Irina is +a very nice girl. She’s even like Masha, she’s so thoughtful.... Only, +Irina your character is gentler. Though Masha’s character, too, is a +very good one. I’m very fond of Masha. [Shouts of “Yo-ho!” are heard +behind the stage.] + +IRINA. [Shudders] Everything seems to frighten me today. [Pause] I’ve +got everything ready, and I send my things off after dinner. The +Baron and I will be married to-morrow, and to-morrow we go away to +the brickworks, and the next day I go to the school, and the new life +begins. God will help me! When I took my examination for the teacher’s +post, I actually wept for joy and gratitude.... [Pause] The cart will be +here in a minute for my things.... + +KULIGIN. Somehow or other, all this doesn’t seem at all serious. As if +it was all ideas, and nothing really serious. Still, with all my soul I +wish you happiness. + +CHEBUTIKIN. [With deep feeling] My splendid... my dear, precious +girl.... You’ve gone on far ahead, I won’t catch up with you. I’m left +behind like a migrant bird grown old, and unable to fly. Fly, my +dear, fly, and God be with you! [Pause] It’s a pity you shaved your +moustaches, Feodor Ilitch. + +KULIGIN. Oh, drop it! [Sighs] To-day the soldiers will be gone, and +everything will go on as in the old days. Say what you will, Masha is +a good, honest woman. I love her very much, and thank my fate for her. +People have such different fates. There’s a Kosirev who works in the +excise department here. He was at school with me; he was expelled +from the fifth class of the High School for being entirely unable to +understand _ut consecutivum_. He’s awfully hard up now and in very +poor health, and when I meet him I say to him, “How do you do, _ut +consecutivum_.” “Yes,” he says, “precisely _consecutivum_...” and +coughs. But I’ve been successful all my life, I’m happy, and I even have +a Stanislaus Cross, of the second class, and now I myself teach others +that _ut consecutivum_. Of course, I’m a clever man, much cleverer than +many, but happiness doesn’t only lie in that.... + +[“The Maiden’s Prayer” is being played on the piano in the house.] + +IRINA. To-morrow night I shan’t hear that “Maiden’s Prayer” any more, +and I shan’t be meeting Protopopov.... [Pause] Protopopov is sitting +there in the drawing-room; and he came to-day... + +KULIGIN. Hasn’t the head-mistress come yet? + +IRINA. No. She has been sent for. If you only knew how difficult it is +for me to live alone, without Olga.... She lives at the High School; +she, a head-mistress, busy all day with her affairs and I’m alone, +bored, with nothing to do, and hate the room I live in.... I’ve made +up my mind: if I can’t live in Moscow, then it must come to this. It’s +fate. It can’t be helped. It’s all the will of God, that’s the truth. +Nicolai Lvovitch made me a proposal.... Well? I thought it over and made +up my mind. He’s a good man... it’s quite remarkable how good he is.... +And suddenly my soul put out wings, I became happy, and light-hearted, +and once again the desire for work, work, came over me.... Only +something happened yesterday, some secret dread has been hanging over +me.... + +CHEBUTIKIN. Luckum. Rubbish. + +NATASHA. [At the window] The head-mistress. + +KULIGIN. The head-mistress has come. Let’s go. [Exit with IRINA into the +house.] + +CHEBUTIKIN. “It is my washing day.... Tara-ra... boom-deay.” + +[MASHA approaches, ANDREY is wheeling a perambulator at the back.] + +MASHA. Here you are, sitting here, doing nothing. + +CHEBUTIKIN. What then? + +MASHA. [Sits] Nothing.... [Pause] Did you love my mother? + +CHEBUTIKIN. Very much. + +MASHA. And did she love you? + +CHEBUTIKIN. [After a pause] I don’t remember that. + +MASHA. Is my man here? When our cook Martha used to ask about her +gendarme, she used to say my man. Is he here? + +CHEBUTIKIN. Not yet. + +MASHA. When you take your happiness in little bits, in snatches, and +then lose it, as I have done, you gradually get coarser, more bitter. +[Points to her bosom] I’m boiling in here.... [Looks at ANDREY with the +perambulator] There’s our brother Andrey.... All our hopes in him have +gone. There was once a great bell, a thousand persons were hoisting it, +much money and labour had been spent on it, when it suddenly fell +and was broken. Suddenly, for no particular reason.... Andrey is like +that.... + +ANDREY. When are they going to stop making such a noise in the house? +It’s awful. + +CHEBUTIKIN. They won’t be much longer. [Looks at his watch] My watch is +very old-fashioned, it strikes the hours.... [Winds the watch and makes +it strike] The first, second, and fifth batteries are to leave at one +o’clock precisely. [Pause] And I go to-morrow. + +ANDREY. For good? + +CHEBUTIKIN. I don’t know. Perhaps I’ll return in a year. The devil +only knows... it’s all one.... [Somewhere a harp and violin are being +played.] + +ANDREY. The town will grow empty. It will be as if they put a cover over +it. [Pause] Something happened yesterday by the theatre. The whole town +knows of it, but I don’t. + +CHEBUTIKIN. Nothing. A silly little affair. Soleni started irritating +the Baron, who lost his temper and insulted him, and so at last Soleni +had to challenge him. [Looks at his watch] It’s about time, I think.... +At half-past twelve, in the public wood, that one you can see from here +across the river.... Piff-paff. [Laughs] Soleni thinks he’s Lermontov, +and even writes verses. That’s all very well, but this is his third +duel. + +MASHA. Whose? + +CHEBUTIKIN. Soleni’s. + +MASHA. And the Baron? + +CHEBUTIKIN. What about the Baron? [Pause.] + +MASHA. Everything’s all muddled up in my head.... But I say it ought not +to be allowed. He might wound the Baron or even kill him. + +CHEBUTIKIN. The Baron is a good man, but one Baron more or less--what +difference does it make? It’s all the same! [Beyond the garden somebody +shouts “Co-ee! Hallo! “] You wait. That’s Skvortsov shouting; one of the +seconds. He’s in a boat. [Pause.] + +ANDREY. In my opinion it’s simply immoral to fight in a duel, or to be +present, even in the quality of a doctor. + +CHEBUTIKIN. It only seems so.... We don’t exist, there’s nothing on +earth, we don’t really live, it only seems that we live. Does it matter, +anyway! + +MASHA. You talk and talk the whole day long. [Going] You live in +a climate like this, where it might snow any moment, and there you +talk.... [Stops] I won’t go into the house, I can’t go there.... Tell me +when Vershinin comes.... [Goes along the avenue] The migrant birds are +already on the wing.... [Looks up] Swans or geese.... My dear, happy +things.... [Exit.] + +ANDREY. Our house will be empty. The officers will go away, you are +going, my sister is getting married, and I alone will remain in the +house. + +CHEBUTIKIN. And your wife? + +[FERAPONT enters with some documents.] + +ANDREY. A wife’s a wife. She’s honest, well-bred, yes; and kind, but +with all that there is still something about her that degenerates her +into a petty, blind, even in some respects misshapen animal. In any +case, she isn’t a man. I tell you as a friend, as the only man to whom I +can lay bare my soul. I love Natasha, it’s true, but sometimes she seems +extraordinarily vulgar, and then I lose myself and can’t understand why +I love her so much, or, at any rate, used to love her.... + +CHEBUTIKIN. [Rises] I’m going away to-morrow, old chap, and perhaps +we’ll never meet again, so here’s my advice. Put on your cap, take a +stick in your hand, go... go on and on, without looking round. And the +farther you go, the better. + +[SOLENI goes across the back of the stage with two officers; he catches +sight of CHEBUTIKIN, and turns to him, the officers go on.] + +SOLENI. Doctor, it’s time. It’s half-past twelve already. [Shakes hands +with ANDREY.] + +CHEBUTIKIN. Half a minute. I’m tired of the lot of you. [To ANDREY] If +anybody asks for me, say I’ll be back soon.... [Sighs] Oh, oh, oh! + +SOLENI. “He didn’t have the time to sigh. The bear sat on him heavily.” + [Goes up to him] What are you groaning about, old man? + +CHEBUTIKIN. Stop it! + +SOLENI. How’s your health? + +CHEBUTIKIN. [Angry] Mind your own business. + +SOLENI. The old man is unnecessarily excited. I won’t go far, I’ll only +just bring him down like a snipe. [Takes out his scent-bottle and scents +his hands] I’ve poured out a whole bottle of scent to-day and they still +smell... of a dead body. [Pause] Yes.... You remember the poem + + “But he, the rebel seeks the storm, + As if the storm will bring him rest...”? + +CHEBUTIKIN. Yes. + + “He didn’t have the time to sigh, + The bear sat on him heavily.” + +[Exit with SOLENI.] + +[Shouts are heard. ANDREY and FERAPONT come in.] + +FERAPONT. Documents to sign.... + +ANDREY. [Irritated]. Go away! Leave me! Please! [Goes away with the +perambulator.] + +FERAPONT. That’s what documents are for, to be signed. [Retires to back +of stage.] + +[Enter IRINA, with TUZENBACH in a straw hat; KULIGIN walks across the +stage, shouting “Co-ee, Masha, co-ee!”] + +TUZENBACH. He seems to be the only man in the town who is glad that the +soldiers are going. + +IRINA. One can understand that. [Pause] The town will be empty. + +TUZENBACH. My dear, I shall return soon. + +IRINA. Where are you going? + +TUZENBACH. I must go into the town and then... see the others off. + +IRINA. It’s not true... Nicolai, why are you so absentminded to-day? +[Pause] What took place by the theatre yesterday? + +TUZENBACH. [Making a movement of impatience] In an hour’s time I shall +return and be with you again. [Kisses her hands] My darling... [Looking +her closely in the face] it’s five years now since I fell in love with +you, and still I can’t get used to it, and you seem to me to grow more +and more beautiful. What lovely, wonderful hair! What eyes! I’m going to +take you away to-morrow. We shall work, we shall be rich, my dreams will +come true. You will be happy. There’s only one thing, one thing only: +you don’t love me! + +IRINA. It isn’t in my power! I shall be your wife, I shall be true to +you, and obedient to you, but I can’t love you. What can I do! [Cries] I +have never been in love in my life. Oh, I used to think so much of love, +I have been thinking about it for so long by day and by night, but +my soul is like an expensive piano which is locked and the key lost. +[Pause] You seem so unhappy. + +TUZENBACH. I didn’t sleep at night. There is nothing in my life so awful +as to be able to frighten me, only that lost key torments my soul and +does not let me sleep. Say something to me [Pause] say something to +me.... + +IRINA. What can I say, what? + +TUZENBACH. Anything. + +IRINA. Don’t! don’t! [Pause.] + +TUZENBACH. It is curious how silly trivial little things, sometimes +for no apparent reason, become significant. At first you laugh at these +things, you think they are of no importance, you go on and you feel that +you haven’t got the strength to stop yourself. Oh don’t let’s talk about +it! I am happy. It is as if for the first time in my life I see these +firs, maples, beeches, and they all look at me inquisitively and wait. +What beautiful trees and how beautiful, when one comes to think of it, +life must be near them! [A shout of Co-ee! in the distance] It’s time +I went.... There’s a tree which has dried up but it still sways in the +breeze with the others. And so it seems to me that if I die, I shall +still take part in life in one way or another. Good-bye, dear.... +[Kisses her hands] The papers which you gave me are on my table under +the calendar. + +IRINA. I am coming with you. + +TUZENBACH. [Nervously] No, no! [He goes quickly and stops in the avenue] +Irina! + +IRINA. What is it? + +TUZENBACH. [Not knowing what to say] I haven’t had any coffee to-day. +Tell them to make me some.... [He goes out quickly.] + +[IRINA stands deep in thought. Then she goes to the back of the stage +and sits on a swing. ANDREY comes in with the perambulator and FERAPONT +also appears.] + +FERAPONT. Andrey Sergeyevitch, it isn’t as if the documents were mine, +they are the government’s. I didn’t make them. + +ANDREY. Oh, what has become of my past and where is it? I used to be +young, happy, clever, I used to be able to think and frame clever ideas, +the present and the future seemed to me full of hope. Why do we, almost +before we have begun to live, become dull, grey, uninteresting, lazy, +apathetic, useless, unhappy.... This town has already been in existence +for two hundred years and it has a hundred thousand inhabitants, not one +of whom is in any way different from the others. There has never been, +now or at any other time, a single leader of men, a single scholar, an +artist, a man of even the slightest eminence who might arouse envy or a +passionate desire to be imitated. They only eat, drink, sleep, and then +they die... more people are born and also eat, drink, sleep, and so +as not to go silly from boredom, they try to make life many-sided +with their beastly backbiting, vodka, cards, and litigation. The wives +deceive their husbands, and the husbands lie, and pretend they see +nothing and hear nothing, and the evil influence irresistibly oppresses +the children and the divine spark in them is extinguished, and they +become just as pitiful corpses and just as much like one another as +their fathers and mothers.... [Angrily to FERAPONT] What do you want? + +FERAPONT. What? Documents want signing. + +ANDREY. I’m tired of you. + +FERAPONT. [Handing him papers] The hall-porter from the law courts was +saying just now that in the winter there were two hundred degrees of +frost in Petersburg. + +ANDREY. The present is beastly, but when I think of the future, how good +it is! I feel so light, so free; there is a light in the distance, I see +freedom. I see myself and my children freeing ourselves from vanities, +from kvass, from goose baked with cabbage, from after-dinner naps, from +base idleness.... + +FERAPONT. He was saying that two thousand people were frozen to death. +The people were frightened, he said. In Petersburg or Moscow, I don’t +remember which. + +ANDREY. [Overcome by a tender emotion] My dear sisters, my beautiful +sisters! [Crying] Masha, my sister.... + +NATASHA. [At the window] Who’s talking so loudly out here? Is that you, +Andrey? You’ll wake little Sophie. _Il ne faut pas faire du bruit, la +Sophie est dormée deja. Vous êtes un ours._ [Angrily] If you want +to talk, then give the perambulator and the baby to somebody else. +Ferapont, take the perambulator! + +FERAPONT. Yes’m. [Takes the perambulator.] + +ANDREY. [Confused] I’m speaking quietly. + +NATASHA. [At the window, nursing her boy] Bobby! Naughty Bobby! Bad +little Bobby! + +ANDREY. [Looking through the papers] All right, I’ll look them over and +sign if necessary, and you can take them back to the offices.... + +[Goes into house reading papers; FERAPONT takes the perambulator to the +back of the garden.] + +NATASHA. [At the window] Bobby, what’s your mother’s name? Dear, dear! +And who’s this? That’s Aunt Olga. Say to your aunt, “How do you do, +Olga!” + +[Two wandering musicians, a man and a girl, are playing on a violin and +a harp. VERSHININ, OLGA, and ANFISA come out of the house and listen for +a minute in silence; IRINA comes up to them.] + +OLGA. Our garden might be a public thoroughfare, from the way people +walk and ride across it. Nurse, give those musicians something! + +ANFISA. [Gives money to the musicians] Go away with God’s blessing on +you. [The musicians bow and go away] A bitter sort of people. You don’t +play on a full stomach. [To IRINA] How do you do, Arisha! [Kisses her] +Well, little girl, here I am, still alive! Still alive! In the High +School, together with little Olga, in her official apartments... so the +Lord has appointed for my old age. Sinful woman that I am, I’ve never +lived like that in my life before.... A large flat, government property, +and I’ve a whole room and bed to myself. All government property. I wake +up at nights and, oh God, and Holy Mother, there isn’t a happier person +than I! + +VERSHININ. [Looks at his watch] We are going soon, Olga Sergeyevna. It’s +time for me to go. [Pause] I wish you every... every.... Where’s Maria +Sergeyevna? + +IRINA. She’s somewhere in the garden. I’ll go and look for her. + +VERSHININ. If you’ll be so kind. I haven’t time. + +ANFISA. I’ll go and look, too. [Shouts] Little Masha, co-ee! [Goes out +with IRINA down into the garden] Co-ee, co-ee! + +VERSHININ. Everything comes to an end. And so we, too, must part. [Looks +at his watch] The town gave us a sort of farewell breakfast, we had +champagne to drink and the mayor made a speech, and I ate and listened, +but my soul was here all the time.... [Looks round the garden] I’m so +used to you now. + +OLGA. Shall we ever meet again? + +VERSHININ. Probably not. [Pause] My wife and both my daughters will stay +here another two months. If anything happens, or if anything has to be +done... + +OLGA. Yes, yes, of course. You need not worry. [Pause] To-morrow there +won’t be a single soldier left in the town, it will all be a memory, +and, of course, for us a new life will begin.... [Pause] None of our +plans are coming right. I didn’t want to be a head-mistress, but they +made me one, all the same. It means there’s no chance of Moscow.... + +VERSHININ. Well... thank you for everything. Forgive me if I’ve... I’ve +said such an awful lot--forgive me for that too, don’t think badly of +me. + +OLGA. [Wipes her eyes] Why isn’t Masha coming... + +VERSHININ. What else can I say in parting? Can I philosophize about +anything? [Laughs] Life is heavy. To many of us it seems dull and +hopeless, but still, it must be acknowledged that it is getting lighter +and clearer, and it seems that the time is not far off when it will be +quite clear. [Looks at his watch] It’s time I went! Mankind used to +be absorbed in wars, and all its existence was filled with campaigns, +attacks, defeats, now we’ve outlived all that, leaving after us a great +waste place, which there is nothing to fill with at present; but mankind +is looking for something, and will certainly find it. Oh, if it only +happened more quickly. [Pause] If only education could be added to +industry, and industry to education. [Looks at his watch] It’s time I +went.... + +OLGA. Here she comes. + +[Enter MASHA.] + +VERSHININ. I came to say good-bye.... + +[OLGA steps aside a little, so as not to be in their way.] + +MASHA. [Looking him in the face] Good-bye. [Prolonged kiss.] + +OLGA. Don’t, don’t. [MASHA is crying bitterly] + +VERSHININ. Write to me.... Don’t forget! Let me go.... It’s time. Take +her, Olga Sergeyevna... it’s time... I’m late... + +[He kisses OLGA’S hand in evident emotion, then embraces MASHA once more +and goes out quickly.] + +OLGA. Don’t, Masha! Stop, dear.... [KULIGIN enters.] + +KULIGIN. [Confused] Never mind, let her cry, let her.... My dear Masha, +my good Masha.... You’re my wife, and I’m happy, whatever happens... I’m +not complaining, I don’t reproach you at all.... Olga is a witness to +it. Let’s begin to live again as we used to, and not by a single word, +or hint... + +MASHA. [Restraining her sobs] “There stands a green oak by the sea, + And a chain of bright gold is around it.... + And a chain of bright gold is around it....” + +I’m going off my head... “There stands... a green oak... by the sea.”... + +OLGA. Don’t, Masha, don’t... give her some water.... + +MASHA. I’m not crying any more.... + +KULIGIN. She’s not crying any more... she’s a good... [A shot is heard +from a distance.] + +MASHA. “There stands a green oak by the sea, + And a chain of bright gold is around it... + An oak of green gold....” + +I’m mixing it up.... [Drinks some water] Life is dull... I don’t want +anything more now... I’ll be all right in a moment.... It doesn’t +matter.... What do those lines mean? Why do they run in my head? My +thoughts are all tangled. + +[IRINA enters.] + +OLGA. Be quiet, Masha. There’s a good girl.... Let’s go in. + +MASHA. [Angrily] I shan’t go in there. [Sobs, but controls herself at +once] I’m not going to go into the house, I won’t go.... + +IRINA. Let’s sit here together and say nothing. I’m going away +to-morrow.... [Pause.] + +KULIGIN. Yesterday I took away these whiskers and this beard from a boy +in the third class.... [He puts on the whiskers and beard] Don’t I look +like the German master.... [Laughs] Don’t I? The boys are amusing. + +MASHA. You really do look like that German of yours. + +OLGA. [Laughs] Yes. [MASHA weeps.] + +IRINA. Don’t, Masha! + +KULIGIN. It’s a very good likeness.... + +[Enter NATASHA.] + +NATASHA. [To the maid] What? Mihail Ivanitch Protopopov will sit with +little Sophie, and Andrey Sergeyevitch can take little Bobby out. +Children are such a bother.... [To IRINA] Irina, it’s such a pity you’re +going away to-morrow. Do stop just another week. [Sees KULIGIN and +screams; he laughs and takes off his beard and whiskers] How you +frightened me! [To IRINA] I’ve grown used to you and do you think it +will be easy for me to part from you? I’m going to have Andrey and his +violin put into your room--let him fiddle away in there!--and we’ll put +little Sophie into his room. The beautiful, lovely child! What a little +girlie! To-day she looked at me with such pretty eyes and said “Mamma!” + +KULIGIN. A beautiful child, it’s quite true. + +NATASHA. That means I shall have the place to myself to-morrow. [Sighs] +In the first place I shall have that avenue of fir-trees cut down, then +that maple. It’s so ugly at nights.... [To IRINA] That belt doesn’t suit +you at all, dear.... It’s an error of taste. And I’ll give orders to +have lots and lots of little flowers planted here, and they’ll smell.... +[Severely] Why is there a fork lying about here on the seat? [Going +towards the house, to the maid] Why is there a fork lying about here on +the seat, I say? [Shouts] Don’t you dare to answer me! + +KULIGIN. Temper! temper! [A march is played off; they all listen.] + +OLGA. They’re going. + +[CHEBUTIKIN comes in.] + +MASHA. They’re going. Well, well.... Bon voyage! [To her husband] We +must be going home.... Where’s my coat and hat? + +KULIGIN. I took them in... I’ll bring them, in a moment. + +OLGA. Yes, now we can all go home. It’s time. + +CHEBUTIKIN. Olga Sergeyevna! + +OLGA. What is it? [Pause] What is it? + +CHEBUTIKIN. Nothing... I don’t know how to tell you.... [Whispers to +her.] + +OLGA. [Frightened] It can’t be true! + +CHEBUTIKIN. Yes... such a story... I’m tired out, exhausted, I won’t say +any more.... [Sadly] Still, it’s all the same! + +MASHA. What’s happened? + +OLGA. [Embraces IRINA] This is a terrible day... I don’t know how to +tell you, dear.... + +IRINA. What is it? Tell me quickly, what is it? For God’s sake! [Cries.] + +CHEBUTIKIN. The Baron was killed in the duel just now. + +IRINA. [Cries softly] I knew it, I knew it.... + +CHEBUTIKIN. [Sits on a bench at the back of the stage] I’m tired.... +[Takes a paper from his pocket] Let ‘em cry.... [Sings softly] +“Tarara-boom-deay, it is my washing day....” Isn’t it all the same! + +[The three sisters are standing, pressing against one another.] + +MASHA. Oh, how the music plays! They are leaving us, one has quite left +us, quite and for ever. We remain alone, to begin our life over again. +We must live... we must live.... + +IRINA. [Puts her head on OLGA’s bosom] There will come a time when +everybody will know why, for what purpose, there is all this suffering, +and there will be no more mysteries. But now we must live... we must +work, just work! To-morrow, I’ll go away alone, and I’ll teach and give +my whole life to those who, perhaps, need it. It’s autumn now, soon it +will be winter, the snow will cover everything, and I shall be working, +working.... + +OLGA. [Embraces both her sisters] The bands are playing so gaily, so +bravely, and one does so want to live! Oh, my God! Time will pass on, +and we shall depart for ever, we shall be forgotten; they will +forget our faces, voices, and even how many there were of us, but +our sufferings will turn into joy for those who will live after us, +happiness and peace will reign on earth, and people will remember with +kindly words, and bless those who are living now. Oh dear sisters, our +life is not yet at an end. Let us live. The music is so gay, so joyful, +and, it seems that in a little while we shall know why we are living, +why we are suffering.... If we could only know, if we could only know! + +[The music has been growing softer and softer; KULIGIN, smiling happily, +brings out the hat and coat; ANDREY wheels out the perambulator in which +BOBBY is sitting.] + +CHEBUTIKIN. [Sings softly] “Tara... ra-boom-deay.... It is my +washing-day.”... [Reads a paper] It’s all the same! It’s all the same! + +OLGA. If only we could know, if only we could know! + +Curtain. + + + + +THE CHERRY ORCHARD + +A COMEDY IN FOUR ACTS + + +CHARACTERS + + LUBOV ANDREYEVNA RANEVSKY (Mme. RANEVSKY), a landowner + ANYA, her daughter, aged seventeen + VARYA (BARBARA), her adopted daughter, aged twenty-seven + LEONID ANDREYEVITCH GAEV, Mme. Ranevsky’s brother + ERMOLAI ALEXEYEVITCH LOPAKHIN, a merchant + PETER SERGEYEVITCH TROFIMOV, a student + BORIS BORISOVITCH SIMEONOV-PISCHIN, a landowner + CHARLOTTA IVANOVNA, a governess + SIMEON PANTELEYEVITCH EPIKHODOV, a clerk + DUNYASHA (AVDOTYA FEDOROVNA), a maidservant + FIERS, an old footman, aged eighty-seven + YASHA, a young footman + A TRAMP + A STATION-MASTER + POST-OFFICE CLERK + GUESTS + A SERVANT + +The action takes place on Mme. RANEVSKY’S estate + + + + +ACT ONE + + +[A room which is still called the nursery. One of the doors leads into +ANYA’S room. It is close on sunrise. It is May. The cherry-trees are +in flower but it is chilly in the garden. There is an early frost. +The windows of the room are shut. DUNYASHA comes in with a candle, and +LOPAKHIN with a book in his hand.] + +LOPAKHIN. The train’s arrived, thank God. What’s the time? + +DUNYASHA. It will soon be two. [Blows out candle] It is light already. + +LOPAKHIN. How much was the train late? Two hours at least. [Yawns and +stretches himself] I have made a rotten mess of it! I came here on +purpose to meet them at the station, and then overslept myself... in my +chair. It’s a pity. I wish you’d wakened me. + +DUNYASHA. I thought you’d gone away. [Listening] I think I hear them +coming. + +LOPAKHIN. [Listens] No.... They’ve got to collect their luggage and so +on.... [Pause] Lubov Andreyevna has been living abroad for five years; +I don’t know what she’ll be like now.... She’s a good sort--an easy, +simple person. I remember when I was a boy of fifteen, my father, who +is dead--he used to keep a shop in the village here--hit me on the face +with his fist, and my nose bled.... We had gone into the yard together +for something or other, and he was a little drunk. Lubov Andreyevna, as +I remember her now, was still young, and very thin, and she took me to +the washstand here in this very room, the nursery. She said, “Don’t +cry, little man, it’ll be all right in time for your wedding.” [Pause] +“Little man”.... My father was a peasant, it’s true, but here I am in a +white waistcoat and yellow shoes... a pearl out of an oyster. I’m rich +now, with lots of money, but just think about it and examine me, and +you’ll find I’m still a peasant down to the marrow of my bones. [Turns +over the pages of his book] Here I’ve been reading this book, but I +understood nothing. I read and fell asleep. [Pause.] + +DUNYASHA. The dogs didn’t sleep all night; they know that they’re +coming. + +LOPAKHIN. What’s up with you, Dunyasha...? + +DUNYASHA. My hands are shaking. I shall faint. + +LOPAKHIN. You’re too sensitive, Dunyasha. You dress just like a lady, +and you do your hair like one too. You oughtn’t. You should know your +place. + +EPIKHODOV. [Enters with a bouquet. He wears a short jacket and +brilliantly polished boots which squeak audibly. He drops the bouquet as +he enters, then picks it up] The gardener sent these; says they’re to go +into the dining-room. [Gives the bouquet to DUNYASHA.] + +LOPAKHIN. And you’ll bring me some kvass. + +DUNYASHA. Very well. [Exit.] + +EPIKHODOV. There’s a frost this morning--three degrees, and the +cherry-trees are all in flower. I can’t approve of our climate. [Sighs] +I can’t. Our climate is indisposed to favour us even this once. And, +Ermolai Alexeyevitch, allow me to say to you, in addition, that I bought +myself some boots two days ago, and I beg to assure you that they squeak +in a perfectly unbearable manner. What shall I put on them? + +LOPAKHIN. Go away. You bore me. + +EPIKHODOV. Some misfortune happens to me every day. But I don’t +complain; I’m used to it, and I can smile. [DUNYASHA comes in and +brings LOPAKHIN some kvass] I shall go. [Knocks over a chair] There.... +[Triumphantly] There, you see, if I may use the word, what circumstances +I am in, so to speak. It is even simply marvellous. [Exit.] + +DUNYASHA. I may confess to you, Ermolai Alexeyevitch, that Epikhodov has +proposed to me. + +LOPAKHIN. Ah! + +DUNYASHA. I don’t know what to do about it. He’s a nice young man, but +every now and again, when he begins talking, you can’t understand a word +he’s saying. I think I like him. He’s madly in love with me. He’s an +unlucky man; every day something happens. We tease him about it. They +call him “Two-and-twenty troubles.” + +LOPAKHIN. [Listens] There they come, I think. + +DUNYASHA. They’re coming! What’s the matter with me? I’m cold all over. + +LOPAKHIN. There they are, right enough. Let’s go and meet them. Will she +know me? We haven’t seen each other for five years. + +DUNYASHA. [Excited] I shall faint in a minute.... Oh, I’m fainting! + +[Two carriages are heard driving up to the house. LOPAKHIN and DUNYASHA +quickly go out. The stage is empty. A noise begins in the next room. +FIERS, leaning on a stick, walks quickly across the stage; he has just +been to meet LUBOV ANDREYEVNA. He wears an old-fashioned livery and a +tall hat. He is saying something to himself, but not a word of it can be +made out. The noise behind the stage gets louder and louder. A voice is +heard: “Let’s go in there.” Enter LUBOV ANDREYEVNA, ANYA, and CHARLOTTA +IVANOVNA with a little dog on a chain, and all dressed in travelling +clothes, VARYA in a long coat and with a kerchief on her head. GAEV, +SIMEONOV-PISCHIN, LOPAKHIN, DUNYASHA with a parcel and an umbrella, and +a servant with luggage--all cross the room.] + +ANYA. Let’s come through here. Do you remember what this room is, +mother? + +LUBOV. [Joyfully, through her tears] The nursery! + +VARYA. How cold it is! My hands are quite numb. [To LUBOV ANDREYEVNA] +Your rooms, the white one and the violet one, are just as they used to +be, mother. + +LUBOV. My dear nursery, oh, you beautiful room.... I used to sleep +here when I was a baby. [Weeps] And here I am like a little girl again. +[Kisses her brother, VARYA, then her brother again] And Varya is just as +she used to be, just like a nun. And I knew Dunyasha. [Kisses her.] + +GAEV. The train was two hours late. There now; how’s that for +punctuality? + +CHARLOTTA. [To PISCHIN] My dog eats nuts too. + +PISCHIN. [Astonished] To think of that, now! + +[All go out except ANYA and DUNYASHA.] + +DUNYASHA. We did have to wait for you! + +[Takes off ANYA’S cloak and hat.] + +ANYA. I didn’t get any sleep for four nights on the journey.... I’m +awfully cold. + +DUNYASHA. You went away during Lent, when it was snowing and frosty, but +now? Darling! [Laughs and kisses her] We did have to wait for you, my +joy, my pet.... I must tell you at once, I can’t bear to wait a minute. + +ANYA. [Tired] Something else now...? + +DUNYASHA. The clerk, Epikhodov, proposed to me after Easter. + +ANYA. Always the same.... [Puts her hair straight] I’ve lost all my +hairpins.... [She is very tired, and even staggers as she walks.] + +DUNYASHA. I don’t know what to think about it. He loves me, he loves me +so much! + +ANYA. [Looks into her room; in a gentle voice] My room, my windows, as +if I’d never gone away. I’m at home! To-morrow morning I’ll get up and +have a run in the garden....Oh, if I could only get to sleep! I didn’t +sleep the whole journey, I was so bothered. + +DUNYASHA. Peter Sergeyevitch came two days ago. + +ANYA. [Joyfully] Peter! + +DUNYASHA. He sleeps in the bath-house, he lives there. He said he was +afraid he’d be in the way. [Looks at her pocket-watch] I ought to wake +him, but Barbara Mihailovna told me not to. “Don’t wake him,” she said. + +[Enter VARYA, a bunch of keys on her belt.] + +VARYA. Dunyasha, some coffee, quick. Mother wants some. + +DUNYASHA. This minute. [Exit.] + +VARYA. Well, you’ve come, glory be to God. Home again. [Caressing her] +My darling is back again! My pretty one is back again! + +ANYA. I did have an awful time, I tell you. + +VARYA. I can just imagine it! + +ANYA. I went away in Holy Week; it was very cold then. Charlotta talked +the whole way and would go on performing her tricks. Why did you tie +Charlotta on to me? + +VARYA. You couldn’t go alone, darling, at seventeen! + +ANYA. We went to Paris; it’s cold there and snowing. I talk French +perfectly horribly. My mother lives on the fifth floor. I go to her, and +find her there with various Frenchmen, women, an old abbé with a book, +and everything in tobacco smoke and with no comfort at all. I suddenly +became very sorry for mother--so sorry that I took her head in my arms +and hugged her and wouldn’t let her go. Then mother started hugging me +and crying.... + +VARYA. [Weeping] Don’t say any more, don’t say any more.... + +ANYA. She’s already sold her villa near Mentone; she’s nothing left, +nothing. And I haven’t a copeck left either; we only just managed to get +here. And mother won’t understand! We had dinner at a station; she asked +for all the expensive things, and tipped the waiters one rouble each. +And Charlotta too. Yasha wants his share too--it’s too bad. Mother’s got +a footman now, Yasha; we’ve brought him here. + +VARYA. I saw the wretch. + +ANYA. How’s business? Has the interest been paid? + +VARYA. Not much chance of that. + +ANYA. Oh God, oh God... + +VARYA. The place will be sold in August. + +ANYA. O God.... + +LOPAKHIN. [Looks in at the door and moos] Moo!... [Exit.] + +VARYA. [Through her tears] I’d like to.... [Shakes her fist.] + +ANYA. [Embraces VARYA, softly] Varya, has he proposed to you? [VARYA +shakes head] But he loves you.... Why don’t you make up your minds? Why +do you keep on waiting? + +VARYA. I think that it will all come to nothing. He’s a busy man. I’m +not his affair... he pays no attention to me. Bless the man, I don’t +want to see him.... But everybody talks about our marriage, everybody +congratulates me, and there’s nothing in it at all, it’s all like a +dream. [In another tone] You’ve got a brooch like a bee. + +ANYA. [Sadly] Mother bought it. [Goes into her room, and talks lightly, +like a child] In Paris I went up in a balloon! + +VARYA. My darling’s come back, my pretty one’s come back! [DUNYASHA has +already returned with the coffee-pot and is making the coffee, VARYA +stands near the door] I go about all day, looking after the house, and +I think all the time, if only you could marry a rich man, then I’d be +happy and would go away somewhere by myself, then to Kiev... to Moscow, +and so on, from one holy place to another. I’d tramp and tramp. That +would be splendid! + +ANYA. The birds are singing in the garden. What time is it now? + +VARYA. It must be getting on for three. Time you went to sleep, darling. +[Goes into ANYA’S room] Splendid! + +[Enter YASHA with a plaid shawl and a travelling bag.] + +YASHA. [Crossing the stage: Politely] May I go this way? + +DUNYASHA. I hardly knew you, Yasha. You have changed abroad. + +YASHA. Hm... and who are you? + +DUNYASHA. When you went away I was only so high. [Showing with her hand] +I’m Dunyasha, the daughter of Theodore Kozoyedov. You don’t remember! + +YASHA. Oh, you little cucumber! + +[Looks round and embraces her. She screams and drops a saucer. YASHA +goes out quickly.] + +VARYA. [In the doorway: In an angry voice] What’s that? + +DUNYASHA. [Through her tears] I’ve broken a saucer. + +VARYA. It may bring luck. + +ANYA. [Coming out of her room] We must tell mother that Peter’s here. + +VARYA. I told them not to wake him. + +ANYA. [Thoughtfully] Father died six years ago, and a month later my +brother Grisha was drowned in the river--such a dear little boy of +seven! Mother couldn’t bear it; she went away, away, without looking +round.... [Shudders] How I understand her; if only she knew! [Pause] And +Peter Trofimov was Grisha’s tutor, he might tell her.... + +[Enter FIERS in a short jacket and white waistcoat.] + +FIERS. [Goes to the coffee-pot, nervously] The mistress is going to +have some food here.... [Puts on white gloves] Is the coffee ready? [To +DUNYASHA, severely] You! Where’s the cream? + +DUNYASHA. Oh, dear me...! [Rapid exit.] + +FIERS. [Fussing round the coffee-pot] Oh, you bungler.... [Murmurs +to himself] Back from Paris... the master went to Paris once... in a +carriage.... [Laughs.] + +VARYA. What are you talking about, Fiers? + +FIERS. I beg your pardon? [Joyfully] The mistress is home again. I’ve +lived to see her! Don’t care if I die now.... [Weeps with joy.] + +[Enter LUBOV ANDREYEVNA, GAEV, LOPAKHIN, and SIMEONOV-PISCHIN, the +latter in a long jacket of thin cloth and loose trousers. GAEV, coming +in, moves his arms and body about as if he is playing billiards.] + +LUBOV. Let me remember now. Red into the corner! Twice into the centre! + +GAEV. Right into the pocket! Once upon a time you and I used both to +sleep in this room, and now I’m fifty-one; it does seem strange. + +LOPAKHIN. Yes, time does go. + +GAEV. Who does? + +LOPAKHIN. I said that time does go. + +GAEV. It smells of patchouli here. + +ANYA. I’m going to bed. Good-night, mother. [Kisses her.] + +LUBOV. My lovely little one. [Kisses her hand] Glad to be at home? I +can’t get over it. + +ANYA. Good-night, uncle. + +GAEV. [Kisses her face and hands] God be with you. How you do resemble +your mother! [To his sister] You were just like her at her age, Luba. + +[ANYA gives her hand to LOPAKHIN and PISCHIN and goes out, shutting the +door behind her.] + +LUBOV. She’s awfully tired. + +PISCHIN. It’s a very long journey. + +VARYA. [To LOPAKHIN and PISCHIN] Well, sirs, it’s getting on for three, +quite time you went. + +LUBOV. [Laughs] You’re just the same as ever, Varya. [Draws her close +and kisses her] I’ll have some coffee now, then we’ll all go. [FIERS +lays a cushion under her feet] Thank you, dear. I’m used to coffee. I +drink it day and night. Thank you, dear old man. [Kisses FIERS.] + +VARYA. I’ll go and see if they’ve brought in all the luggage. [Exit.] + +LUBOV. Is it really I who am sitting here? [Laughs] I want to jump +about and wave my arms. [Covers her face with her hands] But suppose I’m +dreaming! God knows I love my own country, I love it deeply; I couldn’t +look out of the railway carriage, I cried so much. [Through her tears] +Still, I must have my coffee. Thank you, Fiers. Thank you, dear old man. +I’m so glad you’re still with us. + +FIERS. The day before yesterday. + +GAEV. He doesn’t hear well. + +LOPAKHIN. I’ve got to go off to Kharkov by the five o’clock train. I’m +awfully sorry! I should like to have a look at you, to gossip a little. +You’re as fine-looking as ever. + +PISCHIN. [Breathes heavily] Even finer-looking... dressed in Paris +fashions... confound it all. + +LOPAKHIN. Your brother, Leonid Andreyevitch, says I’m a snob, a usurer, +but that is absolutely nothing to me. Let him talk. Only I do wish you +would believe in me as you once did, that your wonderful, touching eyes +would look at me as they did before. Merciful God! My father was the +serf of your grandfather and your own father, but you--you more than +anybody else--did so much for me once upon a time that I’ve forgotten +everything and love you as if you belonged to my family... and even +more. + +LUBOV. I can’t sit still, I’m not in a state to do it. [Jumps up and +walks about in great excitement] I’ll never survive this happiness.... +You can laugh at me; I’m a silly woman.... My dear little cupboard. +[Kisses cupboard] My little table. + +GAEV. Nurse has died in your absence. + +LUBOV. [Sits and drinks coffee] Yes, bless her soul. I heard by letter. + +GAEV. And Anastasius has died too. Peter Kosoy has left me and now lives +in town with the Commissioner of Police. [Takes a box of sugar-candy out +of his pocket and sucks a piece.] + +PISCHIN. My daughter, Dashenka, sends her love. + +LOPAKHIN. I want to say something very pleasant, very delightful, to +you. [Looks at his watch] I’m going away at once, I haven’t much time... +but I’ll tell you all about it in two or three words. As you already +know, your cherry orchard is to be sold to pay your debts, and the sale +is fixed for August 22; but you needn’t be alarmed, dear madam, you +may sleep in peace; there’s a way out. Here’s my plan. Please attend +carefully! Your estate is only thirteen miles from the town, the railway +runs by, and if the cherry orchard and the land by the river are broken +up into building lots and are then leased off for villas you’ll get at +least twenty-five thousand roubles a year profit out of it. + +GAEV. How utterly absurd! + +LUBOV. I don’t understand you at all, Ermolai Alexeyevitch. + +LOPAKHIN. You will get twenty-five roubles a year for each dessiatin +from the leaseholders at the very least, and if you advertise now I’m +willing to bet that you won’t have a vacant plot left by the autumn; +they’ll all go. In a word, you’re saved. I congratulate you. Only, +of course, you’ll have to put things straight, and clean up.... For +instance, you’ll have to pull down all the old buildings, this house, +which isn’t any use to anybody now, and cut down the old cherry +orchard.... + +LUBOV. Cut it down? My dear man, you must excuse me, but you don’t +understand anything at all. If there’s anything interesting or +remarkable in the whole province, it’s this cherry orchard of ours. + +LOPAKHIN. The only remarkable thing about the orchard is that it’s very +large. It only bears fruit every other year, and even then you don’t +know what to do with them; nobody buys any. + +GAEV. This orchard is mentioned in the “Encyclopaedic Dictionary.” + +LOPAKHIN. [Looks at his watch] If we can’t think of anything and don’t +make up our minds to anything, then on August 22, both the cherry +orchard and the whole estate will be up for auction. Make up your mind! +I swear there’s no other way out, I’ll swear it again. + +FIERS. In the old days, forty or fifty years back, they dried the +cherries, soaked them and pickled them, and made jam of them, and it +used to happen that... + +GAEV. Be quiet, Fiers. + +FIERS. And then we’d send the dried cherries off in carts to Moscow and +Kharkov. And money! And the dried cherries were soft, juicy, sweet, and +nicely scented.... They knew the way.... + +LUBOV. What was the way? + +FIERS. They’ve forgotten. Nobody remembers. + +PISCHIN. [To LUBOV ANDREYEVNA] What about Paris? Eh? Did you eat frogs? + +LUBOV. I ate crocodiles. + +PISCHIN. To think of that, now. + +LOPAKHIN. Up to now in the villages there were only the gentry and the +labourers, and now the people who live in villas have arrived. All towns +now, even small ones, are surrounded by villas. And it’s safe to say +that in twenty years’ time the villa resident will be all over the +place. At present he sits on his balcony and drinks tea, but it may well +come to pass that he’ll begin to cultivate his patch of land, and then +your cherry orchard will be happy, rich, splendid.... + +GAEV. [Angry] What rot! + +[Enter VARYA and YASHA.] + +VARYA. There are two telegrams for you, little mother. [Picks out a key +and noisily unlocks an antique cupboard] Here they are. + +LUBOV. They’re from Paris.... [Tears them up without reading them] I’ve +done with Paris. + +GAEV. And do you know, Luba, how old this case is? A week ago I took out +the bottom drawer; I looked and saw figures burnt out in it. That case +was made exactly a hundred years ago. What do you think of that? What? +We could celebrate its jubilee. It hasn’t a soul of its own, but still, +say what you will, it’s a fine bookcase. + +PISCHIN. [Astonished] A hundred years.... Think of that! + +GAEV. Yes... it’s a real thing. [Handling it] My dear and honoured case! +I congratulate you on your existence, which has already for more than +a hundred years been directed towards the bright ideals of good and +justice; your silent call to productive labour has not grown less in the +hundred years [Weeping] during which you have upheld virtue and faith +in a better future to the generations of our race, educating us up +to ideals of goodness and to the knowledge of a common consciousness. +[Pause.] + +LOPAKHIN. Yes.... + +LUBOV. You’re just the same as ever, Leon. + +GAEV. [A little confused] Off the white on the right, into the corner +pocket. Red ball goes into the middle pocket! + +LOPAKHIN. [Looks at his watch] It’s time I went. + +YASHA. [Giving LUBOV ANDREYEVNA her medicine] Will you take your pills +now? + +PISCHIN. You oughtn’t to take medicines, dear madam; they do you neither +harm nor good.... Give them here, dear madam. [Takes the pills, turns +them out into the palm of his hand, blows on them, puts them into his +mouth, and drinks some kvass] There! + +LUBOV. [Frightened] You’re off your head! + +PISCHIN. I’ve taken all the pills. + +LOPAKHIN. Gormandizer! [All laugh.] + +FIERS. They were here in Easter week and ate half a pailful of +cucumbers.... [Mumbles.] + +LUBOV. What’s he driving at? + +VARYA. He’s been mumbling away for three years. We’re used to that. + +YASHA. Senile decay. + +[CHARLOTTA IVANOVNA crosses the stage, dressed in white: she is very +thin and tightly laced; has a lorgnette at her waist.] + +LOPAKHIN. Excuse me, Charlotta Ivanovna, I haven’t said “How do you do” + to you yet. [Tries to kiss her hand.] + +CHARLOTTA. [Takes her hand away] If you let people kiss your hand, then +they’ll want your elbow, then your shoulder, and then... + +LOPAKHIN. My luck’s out to-day! [All laugh] Show us a trick, Charlotta +Ivanovna! + +LUBOV ANDREYEVNA. Charlotta, do us a trick. + +CHARLOTTA. It’s not necessary. I want to go to bed. [Exit.] + +LOPAKHIN. We shall see each other in three weeks. [Kisses LUBOV +ANDREYEVNA’S hand] Now, good-bye. It’s time to go. [To GAEV] See you +again. [Kisses PISCHIN] Au revoir. [Gives his hand to VARYA, then to +FIERS and to YASHA] I don’t want to go away. [To LUBOV ANDREYEVNA]. If +you think about the villas and make up your mind, then just let me +know, and I’ll raise a loan of 50,000 roubles at once. Think about it +seriously. + +VARYA. [Angrily] Do go, now! + +LOPAKHIN. I’m going, I’m going.... [Exit.] + +GAEV. Snob. Still, I beg pardon.... Varya’s going to marry him, he’s +Varya’s young man. + +VARYA. Don’t talk too much, uncle. + +LUBOV. Why not, Varya? I should be very glad. He’s a good man. + +PISCHIN. To speak the honest truth... he’s a worthy man.... And my +Dashenka... also says that... she says lots of things. [Snores, but +wakes up again at once] But still, dear madam, if you could lend me... +240 roubles... to pay the interest on my mortgage to-morrow... + +VARYA. [Frightened] We haven’t got it, we haven’t got it! + +LUBOV. It’s quite true. I’ve nothing at all. + +PISCHIN. I’ll find it all right [Laughs] I never lose hope. I used to +think, “Everything’s lost now. I’m a dead man,” when, lo and behold, a +railway was built over my land... and they paid me for it. And something +else will happen to-day or to-morrow. Dashenka may win 20,000 roubles... +she’s got a lottery ticket. + +LUBOV. The coffee’s all gone, we can go to bed. + +FIERS. [Brushing GAEV’S trousers; in an insistent tone] You’ve put on +the wrong trousers again. What am I to do with you? + +VARYA. [Quietly] Anya’s asleep. [Opens window quietly] The sun has risen +already; it isn’t cold. Look, little mother: what lovely trees! And the +air! The starlings are singing! + +GAEV. [Opens the other window] The whole garden’s white. You haven’t +forgotten, Luba? There’s that long avenue going straight, straight, like +a stretched strap; it shines on moonlight nights. Do you remember? You +haven’t forgotten? + +LUBOV. [Looks out into the garden] Oh, my childhood, days of my +innocence! In this nursery I used to sleep; I used to look out from here +into the orchard. Happiness used to wake with me every morning, and then +it was just as it is now; nothing has changed. [Laughs from joy] It’s +all, all white! Oh, my orchard! After the dark autumns and the cold +winters, you’re young again, full of happiness, the angels of heaven +haven’t left you.... If only I could take my heavy burden off my breast +and shoulders, if I could forget my past! + +GAEV. Yes, and they’ll sell this orchard to pay off debts. How strange +it seems! + +LUBOV. Look, there’s my dead mother going in the orchard... dressed in +white! [Laughs from joy] That’s she. + +GAEV. Where? + +VARYA. God bless you, little mother. + +LUBOV. There’s nobody there; I thought I saw somebody. On the right, at +the turning by the summer-house, a white little tree bent down, looking +just like a woman. [Enter TROFIMOV in a worn student uniform and +spectacles] What a marvellous garden! White masses of flowers, the blue +sky.... + +TROFIMOV. Lubov Andreyevna! [She looks round at him] I only want to show +myself, and I’ll go away. [Kisses her hand warmly] I was told to wait +till the morning, but I didn’t have the patience. + +[LUBOV ANDREYEVNA looks surprised.] + +VARYA. [Crying] It’s Peter Trofimov. + +TROFIMOV. Peter Trofimov, once the tutor of your Grisha.... Have I +changed so much? + +[LUBOV ANDREYEVNA embraces him and cries softly.] + +GAEV. [Confused] That’s enough, that’s enough, Luba. + +VARYA. [Weeps] But I told you, Peter, to wait till to-morrow. + +LUBOV. My Grisha... my boy... Grisha... my son. + +VARYA. What are we to do, little mother? It’s the will of God. + +TROFIMOV. [Softly, through his tears] It’s all right, it’s all right. + +LUBOV. [Still weeping] My boy’s dead; he was drowned. Why? Why, my +friend? [Softly] Anya’s asleep in there. I am speaking so loudly, making +such a noise.... Well, Peter? What’s made you look so bad? Why have you +grown so old? + +TROFIMOV. In the train an old woman called me a decayed gentleman. + +LUBOV. You were quite a boy then, a nice little student, and now your +hair is not at all thick and you wear spectacles. Are you really still a +student? [Goes to the door.] + +TROFIMOV. I suppose I shall always be a student. + +LUBOV. [Kisses her brother, then VARYA] Well, let’s go to bed.... And +you’ve grown older, Leonid. + +PISCHIN. [Follows her] Yes, we’ve got to go to bed.... Oh, my gout! I’ll +stay the night here. If only, Lubov Andreyevna, my dear, you could get +me 240 roubles to-morrow morning-- + +GAEV. Still the same story. + +PISCHIN. Two hundred and forty roubles... to pay the interest on the +mortgage. + +LUBOV. I haven’t any money, dear man. + +PISCHIN. I’ll give it back... it’s a small sum.... + +LUBOV. Well, then, Leonid will give it to you.... Let him have it, +Leonid. + +GAEV. By all means; hold out your hand. + +LUBOV. Why not? He wants it; he’ll give it back. + +[LUBOV ANDREYEVNA, TROFIMOV, PISCHIN, and FIERS go out. GAEV, VARYA, and +YASHA remain.] + +GAEV. My sister hasn’t lost the habit of throwing money about. [To +YASHA] Stand off, do; you smell of poultry. + +YASHA. [Grins] You are just the same as ever, Leonid Andreyevitch. + +GAEV. Really? [To VARYA] What’s he saying? + +VARYA. [To YASHA] Your mother’s come from the village; she’s been +sitting in the servants’ room since yesterday, and wants to see you.... + +YASHA. Bless the woman! + +VARYA. Shameless man. + +YASHA. A lot of use there is in her coming. She might have come tomorrow +just as well. [Exit.] + +VARYA. Mother hasn’t altered a scrap, she’s just as she always was. +She’d give away everything, if the idea only entered her head. + +GAEV. Yes.... [Pause] If there’s any illness for which people offer many +remedies, you may be sure that particular illness is incurable, I think. +I work my brains to their hardest. I’ve several remedies, very many, +and that really means I’ve none at all. It would be nice to inherit a +fortune from somebody, it would be nice to marry our Anya to a rich +man, it would be nice to go to Yaroslav and try my luck with my aunt the +Countess. My aunt is very, very rich. + +VARYA. [Weeps] If only God helped us. + +GAEV. Don’t cry. My aunt’s very rich, but she doesn’t like us. My +sister, in the first place, married an advocate, not a noble.... [ANYA +appears in the doorway] She not only married a man who was not a noble, +but she behaved herself in a way which cannot be described as proper. +She’s nice and kind and charming, and I’m very fond of her, but say what +you will in her favour and you still have to admit that she’s wicked; +you can feel it in her slightest movements. + +VARYA. [Whispers] Anya’s in the doorway. + +GAEV. Really? [Pause] It’s curious, something’s got into my right eye... +I can’t see properly out of it. And on Thursday, when I was at the +District Court... + +[Enter ANYA.] + +VARYA. Why aren’t you in bed, Anya? + +ANYA. Can’t sleep. It’s no good. + +GAEV. My darling! [Kisses ANYA’S face and hands] My child.... [Crying] +You’re not my niece, you’re my angel, you’re my all.... Believe in me, +believe... + +ANYA. I do believe in you, uncle. Everybody loves you and respects +you... but, uncle dear, you ought to say nothing, no more than that. +What were you saying just now about my mother, your own sister? Why did +you say those things? + +GAEV. Yes, yes. [Covers his face with her hand] Yes, really, it was +awful. Save me, my God! And only just now I made a speech before a +bookcase... it’s so silly! And only when I’d finished I knew how silly +it was. + +VARYA. Yes, uncle dear, you really ought to say less. Keep quiet, that’s +all. + +ANYA. You’d be so much happier in yourself if you only kept quiet. + +GAEV. All right, I’ll be quiet. [Kisses their hands] I’ll be quiet. But +let’s talk business. On Thursday I was in the District Court, and a lot +of us met there together, and we began to talk of this, that, and the +other, and now I think I can arrange a loan to pay the interest into the +bank. + +VARYA. If only God would help us! + +GAEV. I’ll go on Tuesday. I’ll talk with them about it again. [To VARYA] +Don’t howl. [To ANYA] Your mother will have a talk to Lopakhin; he, of +course, won’t refuse... And when you’ve rested you’ll go to Yaroslav to +the Countess, your grandmother. So you see, we’ll have three irons in +the fire, and we’ll be safe. We’ll pay up the interest. I’m certain. +[Puts some sugar-candy into his mouth] I swear on my honour, on anything +you will, that the estate will not be sold! [Excitedly] I swear on my +happiness! Here’s my hand. You may call me a dishonourable wretch if I +let it go to auction! I swear by all I am! + +ANYA. [She is calm again and happy] How good and clever you are, uncle. +[Embraces him] I’m happy now! I’m happy! All’s well! + +[Enter FIERS.] + +FIERS. [Reproachfully] Leonid Andreyevitch, don’t you fear God? When are +you going to bed? + +GAEV. Soon, soon. You go away, Fiers. I’ll undress myself. Well, +children, bye-bye...! I’ll give you the details to-morrow, but let’s go +to bed now. [Kisses ANYA and VARYA] I’m a man of the eighties.... People +don’t praise those years much, but I can still say that I’ve suffered +for my beliefs. The peasants don’t love me for nothing, I assure you. +We’ve got to learn to know the peasants! We ought to learn how.... + +ANYA. You’re doing it again, uncle! + +VARYA. Be quiet, uncle! + +FIERS. [Angrily] Leonid Andreyevitch! + +GAEV. I’m coming, I’m coming.... Go to bed now. Off two cushions into +the middle! I turn over a new leaf.... [Exit. FIERS goes out after him.] + +ANYA. I’m quieter now. I don’t want to go to Yaroslav, I don’t like +grandmother; but I’m calm now; thanks to uncle. [Sits down.] + +VARYA. It’s time to go to sleep. I’ll go. There’s been an unpleasantness +here while you were away. In the old servants’ part of the house, as you +know, only the old people live--little old Efim and Polya and Evstigney, +and Karp as well. They started letting some tramps or other spend the +night there--I said nothing. Then I heard that they were saying that I +had ordered them to be fed on peas and nothing else; from meanness, you +see.... And it was all Evstigney’s doing.... Very well, I thought, +if that’s what the matter is, just you wait. So I call Evstigney.... +[Yawns] He comes. “What’s this,” I say, “Evstigney, you old fool.”... +[Looks at ANYA] Anya dear! [Pause] She’s dropped off.... [Takes ANYA’S +arm] Let’s go to bye-bye.... Come along!... [Leads her] My darling’s +gone to sleep! Come on.... [They go. In the distance, the other side of +the orchard, a shepherd plays his pipe. TROFIMOV crosses the stage and +stops on seeing VARYA and ANYA] Sh! She’s asleep, asleep. Come on, dear. + +ANYA. [Quietly, half-asleep] I’m so tired... all the bells... uncle, +dear! Mother and uncle! + +VARYA. Come on, dear, come on! [They go into ANYA’S room.] + +TROFIMOV. [Moved] My sun! My spring! + +Curtain. + + + + +ACT TWO + + +[In a field. An old, crooked shrine, which has been long abandoned; near +it a well and large stones, which apparently are old tombstones, and +an old garden seat. The road is seen to GAEV’S estate. On one side rise +dark poplars, behind them begins the cherry orchard. In the distance +is a row of telegraph poles, and far, far away on the horizon are the +indistinct signs of a large town, which can only be seen on the finest +and clearest days. It is close on sunset. CHARLOTTA, YASHA, and DUNYASHA +are sitting on the seat; EPIKHODOV stands by and plays on a guitar; all +seem thoughtful. CHARLOTTA wears a man’s old peaked cap; she has unslung +a rifle from her shoulders and is putting to rights the buckle on the +strap.] + +CHARLOTTA. [Thoughtfully] I haven’t a real passport. I don’t know how +old I am, and I think I’m young. When I was a little girl my father and +mother used to go round fairs and give very good performances and I used +to do the _salto mortale_ and various little things. And when papa and +mamma died a German lady took me to her and began to teach me. I liked +it. I grew up and became a governess. And where I came from and who +I am, I don’t know.... Who my parents were--perhaps they weren’t +married--I don’t know. [Takes a cucumber out of her pocket and eats] I +don’t know anything. [Pause] I do want to talk, but I haven’t anybody to +talk to... I haven’t anybody at all. + +EPIKHODOV. [Plays on the guitar and sings] + + “What is this noisy earth to me, + What matter friends and foes?” + I do like playing on the mandoline! + +DUNYASHA. That’s a guitar, not a mandoline. [Looks at herself in a +little mirror and powders herself.] + +EPIKHODOV. For the enamoured madman, this is a mandoline. [Sings] + + “Oh that the heart was warmed, + By all the flames of love returned!” + +[YASHA sings too.] + +CHARLOTTA. These people sing terribly.... Foo! Like jackals. + +DUNYASHA. [To YASHA] Still, it must be nice to live abroad. + +YASHA. Yes, certainly. I cannot differ from you there. [Yawns and lights +a cigar.] + +EPIKHODOV. That is perfectly natural. Abroad everything is in full +complexity. + +YASHA. That goes without saying. + +EPIKHODOV. I’m an educated man, I read various remarkable books, but I +cannot understand the direction I myself want to go--whether to live +or to shoot myself, as it were. So, in case, I always carry a revolver +about with me. Here it is. [Shows a revolver.] + +CHARLOTTA. I’ve done. Now I’ll go. [Slings the rifle] You, Epikhodov, +are a very clever man and very terrible; women must be madly in love +with you. Brrr! [Going] These wise ones are all so stupid. I’ve nobody +to talk to. I’m always alone, alone; I’ve nobody at all... and I don’t +know who I am or why I live. [Exit slowly.] + +EPIKHODOV. As a matter of fact, independently of everything else, I must +express my feeling, among other things, that fate has been as pitiless +in her dealings with me as a storm is to a small ship. Suppose, let +us grant, I am wrong; then why did I wake up this morning, to give an +example, and behold an enormous spider on my chest, like that. [Shows +with both hands] And if I do drink some kvass, why is it that there is +bound to be something of the most indelicate nature in it, such as a +beetle? [Pause] Have you read Buckle? [Pause] I should like to trouble +you, Avdotya Fedorovna, for two words. + +DUNYASHA. Say on. + +EPIKHODOV. I should prefer to be alone with you. [Sighs.] + +DUNYASHA. [Shy] Very well, only first bring me my little cloak.... It’s +by the cupboard. It’s a little damp here. + +EPIKHODOV. Very well... I’ll bring it.... Now I know what to do with my +revolver. [Takes guitar and exits, strumming.] + +YASHA. Two-and-twenty troubles! A silly man, between you and me and the +gatepost. [Yawns.] + +DUNYASHA. I hope to goodness he won’t shoot himself. [Pause] I’m so +nervous, I’m worried. I went into service when I was quite a little +girl, and now I’m not used to common life, and my hands are white, white +as a lady’s. I’m so tender and so delicate now; respectable and afraid +of everything.... I’m so frightened. And I don’t know what will happen +to my nerves if you deceive me, Yasha. + +YASHA. [Kisses her] Little cucumber! Of course, every girl must respect +herself; there’s nothing I dislike more than a badly behaved girl. + +DUNYASHA. I’m awfully in love with you; you’re educated, you can talk +about everything. [Pause.] + +YASHA. [Yawns] Yes. I think this: if a girl loves anybody, then that +means she’s immoral. [Pause] It’s nice to smoke a cigar out in the open +air.... [Listens] Somebody’s coming. It’s the mistress, and people with +her. [DUNYASHA embraces him suddenly] Go to the house, as if you’d been +bathing in the river; go by this path, or they’ll meet you and will +think I’ve been meeting you. I can’t stand that sort of thing. + +DUNYASHA. [Coughs quietly] My head’s aching because of your cigar. + +[Exit. YASHA remains, sitting by the shrine. Enter LUBOV ANDREYEVNA, +GAEV, and LOPAKHIN.] + +LOPAKHIN. You must make up your mind definitely--there’s no time to +waste. The question is perfectly plain. Are you willing to let the land +for villas or no? Just one word, yes or no? Just one word! + +LUBOV. Who’s smoking horrible cigars here? [Sits.] + +GAEV. They built that railway; that’s made this place very handy. [Sits] +Went to town and had lunch... red in the middle! I’d like to go in now +and have just one game. + +LUBOV. You’ll have time. + +LOPAKHIN. Just one word! [Imploringly] Give me an answer! + +GAEV. [Yawns] Really! + +LUBOV. [Looks in her purse] I had a lot of money yesterday, but there’s +very little to-day. My poor Varya feeds everybody on milk soup to +save money, in the kitchen the old people only get peas, and I spend +recklessly. [Drops the purse, scattering gold coins] There, they are all +over the place. + +YASHA. Permit me to pick them up. [Collects the coins.] + +LUBOV. Please do, Yasha. And why did I go and have lunch there?... A +horrid restaurant with band and tablecloths smelling of soap.... Why +do you drink so much, Leon? Why do you eat so much? Why do you talk so +much? You talked again too much to-day in the restaurant, and it wasn’t +at all to the point--about the seventies and about decadents. And to +whom? Talking to the waiters about decadents! + +LOPAKHIN. Yes. + +GAEV. [Waves his hand] I can’t be cured, that’s obvious.... [Irritably +to YASHA] What’s the matter? Why do you keep twisting about in front of +me? + +YASHA. [Laughs] I can’t listen to your voice without laughing. + +GAEV. [To his sister] Either he or I... + +LUBOV. Go away, Yasha; get out of this.... + +YASHA. [Gives purse to LUBOV ANDREYEVNA] I’ll go at once. [Hardly able +to keep from laughing] This minute.... [Exit.] + +LOPAKHIN. That rich man Deriganov is preparing to buy your estate. They +say he’ll come to the sale himself. + +LUBOV. Where did you hear that? + +LOPAKHIN. They say so in town. + +GAEV. Our Yaroslav aunt has promised to send something, but I don’t know +when or how much. + +LOPAKHIN. How much will she send? A hundred thousand roubles? Or two, +perhaps? + +LUBOV. I’d be glad of ten or fifteen thousand. + +LOPAKHIN. You must excuse my saying so, but I’ve never met such +frivolous people as you before, or anybody so unbusinesslike and +peculiar. Here I am telling you in plain language that your estate will +be sold, and you don’t seem to understand. + +LUBOV. What are we to do? Tell us, what? + +LOPAKHIN. I tell you every day. I say the same thing every day. Both the +cherry orchard and the land must be leased off for villas and at once, +immediately--the auction is staring you in the face: Understand! Once +you do definitely make up your minds to the villas, then you’ll have as +much money as you want and you’ll be saved. + +LUBOV. Villas and villa residents--it’s so vulgar, excuse me. + +GAEV. I entirely agree with you. + +LOPAKHIN. I must cry or yell or faint. I can’t stand it! You’re too much +for me! [To GAEV] You old woman! + +GAEV. Really! + +LOPAKHIN. Old woman! [Going out.] + +LUBOV. [Frightened] No, don’t go away, do stop; be a dear. Please. +Perhaps we’ll find some way out! + +LOPAKHIN. What’s the good of trying to think! + +LUBOV. Please don’t go away. It’s nicer when you’re here.... [Pause] +I keep on waiting for something to happen, as if the house is going to +collapse over our heads. + +GAEV. [Thinking deeply] Double in the corner... across the middle.... + +LUBOV. We have been too sinful.... + +LOPAKHIN. What sins have you committed? + +GAEV. [Puts candy into his mouth] They say that I’ve eaten all my +substance in sugar-candies. [Laughs.] + +LUBOV. Oh, my sins.... I’ve always scattered money about without holding +myself in, like a madwoman, and I married a man who made nothing but +debts. My husband died of champagne--he drank terribly--and to my +misfortune, I fell in love with another man and went off with him, and +just at that time--it was my first punishment, a blow that hit me right +on the head--here, in the river... my boy was drowned, and I went away, +quite away, never to return, never to see this river again...I shut my +eyes and ran without thinking, but _he_ ran after me... without pity, +without respect. I bought a villa near Mentone because _he_ fell ill +there, and for three years I knew no rest either by day or night; the +sick man wore me out, and my soul dried up. And last year, when they +had sold the villa to pay my debts, I went away to Paris, and there +he robbed me of all I had and threw me over and went off with another +woman. I tried to poison myself.... It was so silly, so shameful.... +And suddenly I longed to be back in Russia, my own land, with my little +girl.... [Wipes her tears] Lord, Lord be merciful to me, forgive me my +sins! Punish me no more! [Takes a telegram out of her pocket] I had +this to-day from Paris.... He begs my forgiveness, he implores me to +return.... [Tears it up] Don’t I hear music? [Listens.] + +GAEV. That is our celebrated Jewish band. You remember--four violins, a +flute, and a double-bass. + +LUBOV So it still exists? It would be nice if they came along some +evening. + +LOPAKHIN. [Listens] I can’t hear.... [Sings quietly] “For money will the +Germans make a Frenchman of a Russian.” [Laughs] I saw such an awfully +funny thing at the theatre last night. + +LUBOV. I’m quite sure there wasn’t anything at all funny. You oughtn’t +to go and see plays, you ought to go and look at yourself. What a grey +life you lead, what a lot you talk unnecessarily. + +LOPAKHIN. It’s true. To speak the straight truth, we live a silly life. +[Pause] My father was a peasant, an idiot, he understood nothing, he +didn’t teach me, he was always drunk, and always used a stick on me. In +point of fact, I’m a fool and an idiot too. I’ve never learned anything, +my handwriting is bad, I write so that I’m quite ashamed before people, +like a pig! + +LUBOV. You ought to get married, my friend. + +LOPAKHIN. Yes... that’s true. + +LUBOV. Why not to our Varya? She’s a nice girl. + +LOPAKHIN. Yes. + +LUBOV. She’s quite homely in her ways, works all day, and, what matters +most, she’s in love with you. And you’ve liked her for a long time. + +LOPAKHIN. Well? I don’t mind... she’s a nice girl. [Pause.] + +GAEV. I’m offered a place in a bank. Six thousand roubles a year.... Did +you hear? + +LUBOV. What’s the matter with you! Stay where you are.... + +[Enter FIERS with an overcoat.] + +FIERS. [To GAEV] Please, sir, put this on, it’s damp. + +GAEV. [Putting it on] You’re a nuisance, old man. + +FIERS It’s all very well.... You went away this morning without telling +me. [Examining GAEV.] + +LUBOV. How old you’ve grown, Fiers! + +FIERS. I beg your pardon? + +LOPAKHIN. She says you’ve grown very old! + +FIERS. I’ve been alive a long time. They were already getting ready +to marry me before your father was born.... [Laughs] And when the +Emancipation came I was already first valet. Only I didn’t agree with +the Emancipation and remained with my people.... [Pause] I remember +everybody was happy, but they didn’t know why. + +LOPAKHIN. It was very good for them in the old days. At any rate, they +used to beat them. + +FIERS. [Not hearing] Rather. The peasants kept their distance from the +masters and the masters kept their distance from the peasants, but now +everything’s all anyhow and you can’t understand anything. + +GAEV. Be quiet, Fiers. I’ve got to go to town tomorrow. I’ve been +promised an introduction to a General who may lend me money on a bill. + +LOPAKHIN. Nothing will come of it. And you won’t pay your interest, +don’t you worry. + +LUBOV. He’s talking rubbish. There’s no General at all. + +[Enter TROFIMOV, ANYA, and VARYA.] + +GAEV. Here they are. + +ANYA. Mother’s sitting down here. + +LUBOV. [Tenderly] Come, come, my dears.... [Embracing ANYA and VARYA] If +you two only knew how much I love you. Sit down next to me, like that. +[All sit down.] + +LOPAKHIN. Our eternal student is always with the ladies. + +TROFIMOV. That’s not your business. + +LOPAKHIN. He’ll soon be fifty, and he’s still a student. + +TROFIMOV. Leave off your silly jokes! + +LOPAKHIN. Getting angry, eh, silly? + +TROFIMOV. Shut up, can’t you. + +LOPAKHIN. [Laughs] I wonder what you think of me? + +TROFIMOV. I think, Ermolai Alexeyevitch, that you’re a rich man, +and you’ll soon be a millionaire. Just as the wild beast which eats +everything it finds is needed for changes to take place in matter, so +you are needed too. + +[All laugh.] + +VARYA. Better tell us something about the planets, Peter. + +LUBOV ANDREYEVNA. No, let’s go on with yesterday’s talk! + +TROFIMOV. About what? + +GAEV. About the proud man. + +TROFIMOV. Yesterday we talked for a long time but we didn’t come to +anything in the end. There’s something mystical about the proud man, in +your sense. Perhaps you are right from your point of view, but if you +take the matter simply, without complicating it, then what pride can +there be, what sense can there be in it, if a man is imperfectly made, +physiologically speaking, if in the vast majority of cases he is coarse +and stupid and deeply unhappy? We must stop admiring one another. We +must work, nothing more. + +GAEV. You’ll die, all the same. + +TROFIMOV. Who knows? And what does it mean--you’ll die? Perhaps a man +has a hundred senses, and when he dies only the five known to us are +destroyed and the remaining ninety-five are left alive. + +LUBOV. How clever of you, Peter! + +LOPAKHIN. [Ironically] Oh, awfully! + +TROFIMOV. The human race progresses, perfecting its powers. +Everything that is unattainable now will some day be near at hand and +comprehensible, but we must work, we must help with all our strength +those who seek to know what fate will bring. Meanwhile in Russia only +a very few of us work. The vast majority of those intellectuals whom I +know seek for nothing, do nothing, and are at present incapable of hard +work. They call themselves intellectuals, but they use “thou” and “thee” + to their servants, they treat the peasants like animals, they learn +badly, they read nothing seriously, they do absolutely nothing, about +science they only talk, about art they understand little. They are +all serious, they all have severe faces, they all talk about important +things. They philosophize, and at the same time, the vast majority +of us, ninety-nine out of a hundred, live like savages, fighting and +cursing at the slightest opportunity, eating filthily, sleeping in the +dirt, in stuffiness, with fleas, stinks, smells, moral filth, and so +on... And it’s obvious that all our nice talk is only carried on to +distract ourselves and others. Tell me, where are those créches we hear +so much of? and where are those reading-rooms? People only write novels +about them; they don’t really exist. Only dirt, vulgarity, and Asiatic +plagues really exist.... I’m afraid, and I don’t at all like serious +faces; I don’t like serious conversations. Let’s be quiet sooner. + +LOPAKHIN. You know, I get up at five every morning, I work from +morning till evening, I am always dealing with money--my own and other +people’s--and I see what people are like. You’ve only got to begin to +do anything to find out how few honest, honourable people there are. +Sometimes, when I can’t sleep, I think: “Oh Lord, you’ve given us huge +forests, infinite fields, and endless horizons, and we, living here, +ought really to be giants.” + +LUBOV. You want giants, do you?... They’re only good in stories, and +even there they frighten one. [EPIKHODOV enters at the back of the stage +playing his guitar. Thoughtfully:] Epikhodov’s there. + +ANYA. [Thoughtfully] Epikhodov’s there. + +GAEV. The sun’s set, ladies and gentlemen. + +TROFIMOV. Yes. + +GAEV [Not loudly, as if declaiming] O Nature, thou art wonderful, thou +shinest with eternal radiance! Oh, beautiful and indifferent one, thou +whom we call mother, thou containest in thyself existence and death, +thou livest and destroyest.... + +VARYA. [Entreatingly] Uncle, dear! + +ANYA. Uncle, you’re doing it again! + +TROFIMOV. You’d better double the red into the middle. + +GAEV. I’ll be quiet, I’ll be quiet. + +[They all sit thoughtfully. It is quiet. Only the mumbling of FIERS is +heard. Suddenly a distant sound is heard as if from the sky, the sound +of a breaking string, which dies away sadly.] + +LUBOV. What’s that? + +LOPAKHIN. I don’t know. It may be a bucket fallen down a well somewhere. +But it’s some way off. + +GAEV. Or perhaps it’s some bird... like a heron. + +TROFIMOV. Or an owl. + +LUBOV. [Shudders] It’s unpleasant, somehow. [A pause.] + +FIERS. Before the misfortune the same thing happened. An owl screamed +and the samovar hummed without stopping. + +GAEV. Before what misfortune? + +FIERS. Before the Emancipation. [A pause.] + +LUBOV. You know, my friends, let’s go in; it’s evening now. [To ANYA] +You’ve tears in your eyes.... What is it, little girl? [Embraces her.] + +ANYA. It’s nothing, mother. + +TROFIMOV. Some one’s coming. + +[Enter a TRAMP in an old white peaked cap and overcoat. He is a little +drunk.] + +TRAMP. Excuse me, may I go this way straight through to the station? + +GAEV. You may. Go along this path. + +TRAMP. I thank you from the bottom of my heart. [Hiccups] Lovely +weather.... [Declaims] My brother, my suffering brother.... Come out on +the Volga, you whose groans... [To VARYA] Mademoiselle, please give a +hungry Russian thirty copecks.... + +[VARYA screams, frightened.] + +LOPAKHIN. [Angrily] There’s manners everybody’s got to keep! + +LUBOV. [With a start] Take this... here you are.... [Feels in her purse] +There’s no silver.... It doesn’t matter, here’s gold. + +TRAMP. I am deeply grateful to you! [Exit. Laughter.] + +VARYA. [Frightened] I’m going, I’m going.... Oh, little mother, at home +there’s nothing for the servants to eat, and you gave him gold. + +LUBOV. What is to be done with such a fool as I am! At home I’ll give +you everything I’ve got. Ermolai Alexeyevitch, lend me some more!... + +LOPAKHIN. Very well. + +LUBOV. Let’s go, it’s time. And Varya, we’ve settled your affair; I +congratulate you. + +VARYA. [Crying] You shouldn’t joke about this, mother. + +LOPAKHIN. Oh, feel me, get thee to a nunnery. + +GAEV. My hands are all trembling; I haven’t played billiards for a long +time. + +LOPAKHIN. Oh, feel me, nymph, remember me in thine orisons. + +LUBOV. Come along; it’ll soon be supper-time. + +VARYA. He did frighten me. My heart is beating hard. + +LOPAKHIN. Let me remind you, ladies and gentlemen, on August 22 the +cherry orchard will be sold. Think of that!... Think of that!... + +[All go out except TROFIMOV and ANYA.] + +ANYA. [Laughs] Thanks to the tramp who frightened Barbara, we’re alone +now. + +TROFIMOV. Varya’s afraid we may fall in love with each other and won’t +get away from us for days on end. Her narrow mind won’t allow her to +understand that we are above love. To escape all the petty and deceptive +things which prevent our being happy and free, that is the aim and +meaning of our lives. Forward! We go irresistibly on to that bright star +which burns there, in the distance! Don’t lag behind, friends! + +ANYA. [Clapping her hands] How beautifully you talk! [Pause] It is +glorious here to-day! + +TROFIMOV. Yes, the weather is wonderful. + +ANYA. What have you done to me, Peter? I don’t love the cherry orchard +as I used to. I loved it so tenderly, I thought there was no better +place in the world than our orchard. + +TROFIMOV. All Russia is our orchard. The land is great and beautiful, +there are many marvellous places in it. [Pause] Think, Anya, your +grandfather, your great-grandfather, and all your ancestors were +serf-owners, they owned living souls; and now, doesn’t something human +look at you from every cherry in the orchard, every leaf and every +stalk? Don’t you hear voices...? Oh, it’s awful, your orchard is +terrible; and when in the evening or at night you walk through the +orchard, then the old bark on the trees sheds a dim light and the old +cherry-trees seem to be dreaming of all that was a hundred, two hundred +years ago, and are oppressed by their heavy visions. Still, at any +rate, we’ve left those two hundred years behind us. So far we’ve gained +nothing at all--we don’t yet know what the past is to be to us--we only +philosophize, we complain that we are dull, or we drink vodka. For it’s +so clear that in order to begin to live in the present we must first +redeem the past, and that can only be done by suffering, by strenuous, +uninterrupted labour. Understand that, Anya. + +ANYA. The house in which we live has long ceased to be our house; I +shall go away. I give you my word. + +TROFIMOV. If you have the housekeeping keys, throw them down the well +and go away. Be as free as the wind. + +ANYA. [Enthusiastically] How nicely you said that! + +TROFIMOV. Believe me, Anya, believe me! I’m not thirty yet, I’m young, +I’m still a student, but I have undergone a great deal! I’m as hungry +as the winter, I’m ill, I’m shaken. I’m as poor as a beggar, and where +haven’t I been--fate has tossed me everywhere! But my soul is always my +own; every minute of the day and the night it is filled with unspeakable +presentiments. I know that happiness is coming, Anya, I see it +already.... + +ANYA. [Thoughtful] The moon is rising. + +[EPIKHODOV is heard playing the same sad song on his guitar. The moon +rises. Somewhere by the poplars VARYA is looking for ANYA and calling, +“Anya, where are you?”] + +TROFIMOV. Yes, the moon has risen. [Pause] There is happiness, there it +comes; it comes nearer and nearer; I hear its steps already. And if we +do not see it we shall not know it, but what does that matter? Others +will see it! + +THE VOICE OF VARYA. Anya! Where are you? + +TROFIMOV. That’s Varya again! [Angry] Disgraceful! + +ANYA. Never mind. Let’s go to the river. It’s nice there. + +TROFIMOV Let’s go. [They go out.] + +THE VOICE OF VARYA. Anya! Anya! + +Curtain. + + + + +ACT THREE + + +[A reception-room cut off from a drawing-room by an arch. Chandelier +lighted. A Jewish band, the one mentioned in Act II, is heard playing +in another room. Evening. In the drawing-room the grand rond is being +danced. Voice of SIMEONOV PISCHIN “Promenade a une paire!” Dancers +come into the reception-room; the first pair are PISCHIN and CHARLOTTA +IVANOVNA; the second, TROFIMOV and LUBOV ANDREYEVNA; the third, ANYA and +the POST OFFICE CLERK; the fourth, VARYA and the STATION-MASTER, and +so on. VARYA is crying gently and wipes away her tears as she dances. +DUNYASHA is in the last pair. They go off into the drawing-room, +PISCHIN shouting, “Grand rond, balancez:” and “Les cavaliers à genou +et remerciez vos dames!” FIERS, in a dress-coat, carries a tray with +seltzer-water across. Enter PISCHIN and TROFIMOV from the drawing-room.] + +PISCHIN. I’m full-blooded and have already had two strokes; it’s hard +for me to dance, but, as they say, if you’re in Rome, you must do as +Rome does. I’ve got the strength of a horse. My dead father, who liked +a joke, peace to his bones, used to say, talking of our ancestors, +that the ancient stock of the Simeonov-Pischins was descended from that +identical horse that Caligula made a senator.... [Sits] But the trouble +is, I’ve no money! A hungry dog only believes in meat. [Snores and wakes +up again immediately] So I... only believe in money.... + +TROFIMOV. Yes. There is something equine about your figure. + +PISCHIN. Well... a horse is a fine animal... you can sell a horse. + +[Billiard playing can be heard in the next room. VARYA appears under the +arch.] + +TROFIMOV. [Teasing] Madame Lopakhin! Madame Lopakhin! + +VARYA. [Angry] Decayed gentleman! + +TROFIMOV. Yes, I am a decayed gentleman, and I’m proud of it! + +VARYA. [Bitterly] We’ve hired the musicians, but how are they to be +paid? [Exit.] + +TROFIMOV. [To PISCHIN] If the energy which you, in the course of your +life, have spent in looking for money to pay interest had been used +for something else, then, I believe, after all, you’d be able to turn +everything upside down. + +PISCHIN. Nietzsche... a philosopher... a very great, a most celebrated +man... a man of enormous brain, says in his books that you can forge +bank-notes. + +TROFIMOV. And have you read Nietzsche? + +PISCHIN. Well... Dashenka told me. Now I’m in such a position, I +wouldn’t mind forging them... I’ve got to pay 310 roubles the day after +to-morrow... I’ve got 130 already.... [Feels his pockets, nervously] +I’ve lost the money! The money’s gone! [Crying] Where’s the money? +[Joyfully] Here it is behind the lining... I even began to perspire. + +[Enter LUBOV ANDREYEVNA and CHARLOTTA IVANOVNA.] + +LUBOV. [Humming a Caucasian dance] Why is Leonid away so long? What’s he +doing in town? [To DUNYASHA] Dunyasha, give the musicians some tea. + +TROFIMOV. Business is off, I suppose. + +LUBOV. And the musicians needn’t have come, and we needn’t have got up +this ball.... Well, never mind.... [Sits and sings softly.] + +CHARLOTTA. [Gives a pack of cards to PISCHIN] Here’s a pack of cards, +think of any one card you like. + +PISCHIN. I’ve thought of one. + +CHARLOTTA. Now shuffle. All right, now. Give them here, oh my dear +Mr. Pischin. _Ein, zwei, drei_! Now look and you’ll find it in your +coat-tail pocket. + +PISCHIN. [Takes a card out of his coat-tail pocket] Eight of spades, +quite right! [Surprised] Think of that now! + +CHARLOTTA. [Holds the pack of cards on the palm of her hand. To +TROFIMOV] Now tell me quickly. What’s the top card? + +TROFIMOV. Well, the queen of spades. + +CHARLOTTA. Right! [To PISCHIN] Well now? What card’s on top? + +PISCHIN. Ace of hearts. + +CHARLOTTA. Right! [Claps her hands, the pack of cards vanishes] How +lovely the weather is to-day. [A mysterious woman’s voice answers her, +as if from under the floor, “Oh yes, it’s lovely weather, madam.”] You +are so beautiful, you are my ideal. [Voice, “You, madam, please me very +much too.”] + +STATION-MASTER. [Applauds] Madame ventriloquist, bravo! + +PISCHIN. [Surprised] Think of that, now! Delightful, Charlotte +Ivanovna... I’m simply in love.... + +CHARLOTTA. In love? [Shrugging her shoulders] Can you love? _Guter +Mensch aber schlechter Musikant_. + +TROFIMOV. [Slaps PISCHIN on the shoulder] Oh, you horse! + +CHARLOTTA. Attention please, here’s another trick. [Takes a shawl from a +chair] Here’s a very nice plaid shawl, I’m going to sell it.... [Shakes +it] Won’t anybody buy it? + +PISCHIN. [Astonished] Think of that now! + +CHARLOTTA. _Ein, zwei, drei_. + +[She quickly lifts up the shawl, which is hanging down. ANYA is standing +behind it; she bows and runs to her mother, hugs her and runs back to +the drawing-room amid general applause.] + +LUBOV. [Applauds] Bravo, bravo! + +CHARLOTTA. Once again! _Ein, zwei, drei_! + +[Lifts the shawl. VARYA stands behind it and bows.] + +PISCHIN. [Astonished] Think of that, now. + +CHARLOTTA. The end! + +[Throws the shawl at PISCHIN, curtseys and runs into the drawing-room.] + +PISCHIN. [Runs after her] Little wretch.... What? Would you? [Exit.] + +LUBOV. Leonid hasn’t come yet. I don’t understand what he’s doing so +long in town! Everything must be over by now. The estate must be sold; +or, if the sale never came off, then why does he stay so long? + +VARYA. [Tries to soothe her] Uncle has bought it. I’m certain of it. + +TROFIMOV. [Sarcastically] Oh, yes! + +VARYA. Grandmother sent him her authority for him to buy it in her name +and transfer the debt to her. She’s doing it for Anya. And I’m certain +that God will help us and uncle will buy it. + +LUBOV. Grandmother sent fifteen thousand roubles from Yaroslav to buy +the property in her name--she won’t trust us--and that wasn’t even +enough to pay the interest. [Covers her face with her hands] My fate +will be settled to-day, my fate.... + +TROFIMOV. [Teasing VARYA] Madame Lopakhin! + +VARYA. [Angry] Eternal student! He’s already been expelled twice from +the university. + +LUBOV. Why are you getting angry, Varya? He’s teasing you about +Lopakhin, well what of it? You can marry Lopakhin if you want to, he’s a +good, interesting man.... You needn’t if you don’t want to; nobody wants +to force you against your will, my darling. + +VARYA. I do look at the matter seriously, little mother, to be quite +frank. He’s a good man, and I like him. + +LUBOV. Then marry him. I don’t understand what you’re waiting for. + +VARYA. I can’t propose to him myself, little mother. People have been +talking about him to me for two years now, but he either says nothing, +or jokes about it. I understand. He’s getting rich, he’s busy, he can’t +bother about me. If I had some money, even a little, even only a hundred +roubles, I’d throw up everything and go away. I’d go into a convent. + +TROFIMOV. How nice! + +VARYA. [To TROFIMOV] A student ought to have sense! [Gently, in tears] +How ugly you are now, Peter, how old you’ve grown! [To LUBOV ANDREYEVNA, +no longer crying] But I can’t go on without working, little mother. I +want to be doing something every minute. + +[Enter YASHA.] + +YASHA. [Nearly laughing] Epikhodov’s broken a billiard cue! [Exit.] + +VARYA. Why is Epikhodov here? Who said he could play billiards? I don’t +understand these people. [Exit.] + +LUBOV. Don’t tease her, Peter, you see that she’s quite unhappy without +that. + +TROFIMOV. She takes too much on herself, she keeps on interfering in +other people’s business. The whole summer she’s given no peace to me or +to Anya, she’s afraid we’ll have a romance all to ourselves. What has it +to do with her? As if I’d ever given her grounds to believe I’d stoop to +such vulgarity! We are above love. + +LUBOV. Then I suppose I must be beneath love. [In agitation] Why isn’t +Leonid here? If I only knew whether the estate is sold or not! The +disaster seems to me so improbable that I don’t know what to think, I’m +all at sea... I may scream... or do something silly. Save me, Peter. Say +something, say something. + +TROFIMOV. Isn’t it all the same whether the estate is sold to-day or +isn’t? It’s been all up with it for a long time; there’s no turning +back, the path’s grown over. Be calm, dear, you shouldn’t deceive +yourself, for once in your life at any rate you must look the truth +straight in the face. + +LUBOV. What truth? You see where truth is, and where untruth is, but +I seem to have lost my sight and see nothing. You boldly settle all +important questions, but tell me, dear, isn’t it because you’re young, +because you haven’t had time to suffer till you settled a single one +of your questions? You boldly look forward, isn’t it because you cannot +foresee or expect anything terrible, because so far life has been hidden +from your young eyes? You are bolder, more honest, deeper than we are, +but think only, be just a little magnanimous, and have mercy on me. I +was born here, my father and mother lived here, my grandfather too, +I love this house. I couldn’t understand my life without that cherry +orchard, and if it really must be sold, sell me with it! [Embraces +TROFIMOV, kisses his forehead]. My son was drowned here.... [Weeps] Have +pity on me, good, kind man. + +TROFIMOV. You know I sympathize with all my soul. + +LUBOV. Yes, but it ought to be said differently, differently.... [Takes +another handkerchief, a telegram falls on the floor] I’m so sick at +heart to-day, you can’t imagine. Here it’s so noisy, my soul shakes at +every sound. I shake all over, and I can’t go away by myself, I’m afraid +of the silence. Don’t judge me harshly, Peter... I loved you, as if you +belonged to my family. I’d gladly let Anya marry you, I swear it, only +dear, you ought to work, finish your studies. You don’t do anything, +only fate throws you about from place to place, it’s so odd.... Isn’t it +true? Yes? And you ought to do something to your beard to make it grow +better [Laughs] You are funny! + +TROFIMOV. [Picking up telegram] I don’t want to be a Beau Brummel. + +LUBOV. This telegram’s from Paris. I get one every day. Yesterday and +to-day. That wild man is ill again, he’s bad again.... He begs for +forgiveness, and implores me to come, and I really ought to go to Paris +to be near him. You look severe, Peter, but what can I do, my dear, what +can I do; he’s ill, he’s alone, unhappy, and who’s to look after +him, who’s to keep him away from his errors, to give him his medicine +punctually? And why should I conceal it and say nothing about it; I love +him, that’s plain, I love him, I love him.... That love is a stone round +my neck; I’m going with it to the bottom, but I love that stone and +can’t live without it. [Squeezes TROFIMOV’S hand] Don’t think badly of +me, Peter, don’t say anything to me, don’t say... + +TROFIMOV. [Weeping] For God’s sake forgive my speaking candidly, but +that man has robbed you! + +LUBOV. No, no, no, you oughtn’t to say that! [Stops her ears.] + +TROFIMOV. But he’s a wretch, you alone don’t know it! He’s a petty +thief, a nobody.... + +LUBOV. [Angry, but restrained] You’re twenty-six or twenty-seven, and +still a schoolboy of the second class! + +TROFIMOV. Why not! + +LUBOV. You ought to be a man, at your age you ought to be able to +understand those who love. And you ought to be in love yourself, you +must fall in love! [Angry] Yes, yes! You aren’t pure, you’re just a +freak, a queer fellow, a funny growth... + +TROFIMOV. [In horror] What is she saying! + +LUBOV. “I’m above love!” You’re not above love, you’re just what our +Fiers calls a bungler. Not to have a mistress at your age! + +TROFIMOV. [In horror] This is awful! What is she saying? [Goes quickly +up into the drawing-room, clutching his head] It’s awful... I can’t +stand it, I’ll go away. [Exit, but returns at once] All is over between +us! [Exit.] + +LUBOV. [Shouts after him] Peter, wait! Silly man, I was joking! Peter! +[Somebody is heard going out and falling downstairs noisily. ANYA and +VARYA scream; laughter is heard immediately] What’s that? + +[ANYA comes running in, laughing.] + +ANYA. Peter’s fallen downstairs! [Runs out again.] + +LUBOV. This Peter’s a marvel. + +[The STATION-MASTER stands in the middle of the drawing-room and recites +“The Magdalen” by Tolstoy. He is listened to, but he has only delivered +a few lines when a waltz is heard from the front room, and the +recitation is stopped. Everybody dances. TROFIMOV, ANYA, VARYA, and +LUBOV ANDREYEVNA come in from the front room.] + +LUBOV. Well, Peter... you pure soul... I beg your pardon... let’s dance. + +[She dances with PETER. ANYA and VARYA dance. FIERS enters and stands +his stick by a side door. YASHA has also come in and looks on at the +dance.] + +YASHA. Well, grandfather? + +FIERS. I’m not well. At our balls some time back, generals and barons +and admirals used to dance, and now we send for post-office clerks and +the Station-master, and even they come as a favour. I’m very weak. The +dead master, the grandfather, used to give everybody sealing-wax when +anything was wrong. I’ve taken sealing-wax every day for twenty years, +and more; perhaps that’s why I still live. + +YASHA. I’m tired of you, grandfather. [Yawns] If you’d only hurry up and +kick the bucket. + +FIERS. Oh you... bungler! [Mutters.] + +[TROFIMOV and LUBOV ANDREYEVNA dance in the reception-room, then into +the sitting-room.] + +LUBOV. _Merci_. I’ll sit down. [Sits] I’m tired. + +[Enter ANYA.] + +ANYA. [Excited] Somebody in the kitchen was saying just now that the +cherry orchard was sold to-day. + +LUBOV. Sold to whom? + +ANYA. He didn’t say to whom. He’s gone now. [Dances out into the +reception-room with TROFIMOV.] + +YASHA. Some old man was chattering about it a long time ago. A stranger! + +FIERS. And Leonid Andreyevitch isn’t here yet, he hasn’t come. He’s +wearing a light, _demi-saison_ overcoat. He’ll catch cold. Oh these +young fellows. + +LUBOV. I’ll die of this. Go and find out, Yasha, to whom it’s sold. + +YASHA. Oh, but he’s been gone a long time, the old man. [Laughs.] + +LUBOV. [Slightly vexed] Why do you laugh? What are you glad about? + +YASHA. Epikhodov’s too funny. He’s a silly man. Two-and-twenty troubles. + +LUBOV. Fiers, if the estate is sold, where will you go? + +FIERS. I’ll go wherever you order me to go. + +LUBOV. Why do you look like that? Are you ill? I think you ought to go +to bed.... + +FIERS. Yes... [With a smile] I’ll go to bed, and who’ll hand things +round and give orders without me? I’ve the whole house on my shoulders. + +YASHA. [To LUBOV ANDREYEVNA] Lubov Andreyevna! I want to ask a favour of +you, if you’ll be so kind! If you go to Paris again, then please take +me with you. It’s absolutely impossible for me to stop here. [Looking +round; in an undertone] What’s the good of talking about it, you see for +yourself that this is an uneducated country, with an immoral population, +and it’s so dull. The food in the kitchen is beastly, and here’s this +Fiers walking about mumbling various inappropriate things. Take me with +you, be so kind! + +[Enter PISCHIN.] + +PISCHIN. I come to ask for the pleasure of a little waltz, dear lady.... +[LUBOV ANDREYEVNA goes to him] But all the same, you wonderful woman, +I must have 180 little roubles from you... I must.... [They dance] 180 +little roubles.... [They go through into the drawing-room.] + +YASHA. [Sings softly] “Oh, will you understand + My soul’s deep restlessness?” + +[In the drawing-room a figure in a grey top-hat and in baggy check +trousers is waving its hands and jumping about; there are cries of +“Bravo, Charlotta Ivanovna!”] + +DUNYASHA. [Stops to powder her face] The young mistress tells me to +dance--there are a lot of gentlemen, but few ladies--and my head +goes round when I dance, and my heart beats, Fiers Nicolaevitch; the +Post-office clerk told me something just now which made me catch my +breath. [The music grows faint.] + +FIERS. What did he say to you? + +DUNYASHA. He says, “You’re like a little flower.” + +YASHA. [Yawns] Impolite.... [Exit.] + +DUNYASHA. Like a little flower. I’m such a delicate girl; I simply love +words of tenderness. + +FIERS. You’ll lose your head. + +[Enter EPIKHODOV.] + +EPIKHODOV. You, Avdotya Fedorovna, want to see me no more than if I was +some insect. [Sighs] Oh, life! + +DUNYASHA. What do you want? + +EPIKHODOV. Undoubtedly, perhaps, you may be right. [Sighs] But, +certainly, if you regard the matter from the aspect, then you, if I may +say so, and you must excuse my candidness, have absolutely reduced me to +a state of mind. I know my fate, every day something unfortunate happens +to me, and I’ve grown used to it a long time ago, I even look at my fate +with a smile. You gave me your word, and though I... + +DUNYASHA. Please, we’ll talk later on, but leave me alone now. I’m +meditating now. [Plays with her fan.] + +EPIKHODOV. Every day something unfortunate happens to me, and I, if I +may so express myself, only smile, and even laugh. + +[VARYA enters from the drawing-room.] + +VARYA. Haven’t you gone yet, Simeon? You really have no respect for +anybody. [To DUNYASHA] You go away, Dunyasha. [To EPIKHODOV] You play +billiards and break a cue, and walk about the drawing-room as if you +were a visitor! + +EPIKHODOV. You cannot, if I may say so, call me to order. + +VARYA. I’m not calling you to order, I’m only telling you. You just walk +about from place to place and never do your work. Goodness only knows +why we keep a clerk. + +EPIKHODOV. [Offended] Whether I work, or walk about, or eat, or play +billiards, is only a matter to be settled by people of understanding and +my elders. + +VARYA. You dare to talk to me like that! [Furious] You dare? You mean +that I know nothing? Get out of here! This minute! + +EPIKHODOV. [Nervous] I must ask you to express yourself more delicately. + +VARYA. [Beside herself] Get out this minute. Get out! [He goes to the +door, she follows] Two-and-twenty troubles! I don’t want any sign of you +here! I don’t want to see anything of you! [EPIKHODOV has gone out; his +voice can be heard outside: “I’ll make a complaint against you.”] What, +coming back? [Snatches up the stick left by FIERS by the door] Go... +go... go, I’ll show you.... Are you going? Are you going? Well, then +take that. [She hits out as LOPAKHIN enters.] + +LOPAKHIN. Much obliged. + +VARYA. [Angry but amused] I’m sorry. + +LOPAKHIN. Never mind. I thank you for my pleasant reception. + +VARYA. It isn’t worth any thanks. [Walks away, then looks back and asks +gently] I didn’t hurt you, did I? + +LOPAKHIN. No, not at all. There’ll be an enormous bump, that’s all. + +VOICES FROM THE DRAWING-ROOM. Lopakhin’s returned! Ermolai Alexeyevitch! + +PISCHIN. Now we’ll see what there is to see and hear what there is to +hear... [Kisses LOPAKHIN] You smell of cognac, my dear, my soul. And +we’re all having a good time. + +[Enter LUBOV ANDREYEVNA.] + +LUBOV. Is that you, Ermolai Alexeyevitch? Why were you so long? Where’s +Leonid? + +LOPAKHIN. Leonid Andreyevitch came back with me, he’s coming.... + +LUBOV. [Excited] Well, what? Is it sold? Tell me? + +LOPAKHIN. [Confused, afraid to show his pleasure] The sale ended up at +four o’clock.... We missed the train, and had to wait till half-past +nine. [Sighs heavily] Ooh! My head’s going round a little. + +[Enter GAEV; in his right hand he carries things he has bought, with his +left he wipes away his tears.] + +LUBOV. Leon, what’s happened? Leon, well? [Impatiently, in tears] Quick, +for the love of God.... + +GAEV. [Says nothing to her, only waves his hand; to FIERS, weeping] +Here, take this.... Here are anchovies, herrings from Kertch.... +I’ve had no food to-day.... I have had a time! [The door from the +billiard-room is open; the clicking of the balls is heard, and YASHA’S +voice, “Seven, eighteen!” GAEV’S expression changes, he cries no more] +I’m awfully tired. Help me change my clothes, Fiers. + +[Goes out through the drawing-room; FIERS after him.] + +PISCHIN. What happened? Come on, tell us! + +LUBOV. Is the cherry orchard sold? + +LOPAKHIN. It is sold. + +LUBOV. Who bought it? + +LOPAKHIN. I bought it. + +[LUBOV ANDREYEVNA is overwhelmed; she would fall if she were not +standing by an armchair and a table. VARYA takes her keys off her belt, +throws them on the floor, into the middle of the room and goes out.] + +LOPAKHIN. I bought it! Wait, ladies and gentlemen, please, my head’s +going round, I can’t talk.... [Laughs] When we got to the sale, +Deriganov was there already. Leonid Andreyevitch had only fifteen +thousand roubles, and Deriganov offered thirty thousand on top of the +mortgage to begin with. I saw how matters were, so I grabbed hold of +him and bid forty. He went up to forty-five, I offered fifty-five. That +means he went up by fives and I went up by tens.... Well, it came to +an end. I bid ninety more than the mortgage; and it stayed with me. The +cherry orchard is mine now, mine! [Roars with laughter] My God, my God, +the cherry orchard’s mine! Tell me I’m drunk, or mad, or dreaming.... +[Stamps his feet] Don’t laugh at me! If my father and grandfather rose +from their graves and looked at the whole affair, and saw how their +Ermolai, their beaten and uneducated Ermolai, who used to run barefoot +in the winter, how that very Ermolai has bought an estate, which is +the most beautiful thing in the world! I’ve bought the estate where my +grandfather and my father were slaves, where they weren’t even allowed +into the kitchen. I’m asleep, it’s only a dream, an illusion.... It’s +the fruit of imagination, wrapped in the fog of the unknown.... [Picks +up the keys, nicely smiling] She threw down the keys, she wanted to show +she was no longer mistress here.... [Jingles keys] Well, it’s all one! +[Hears the band tuning up] Eh, musicians, play, I want to hear you! Come +and look at Ermolai Lopakhin laying his axe to the cherry orchard, +come and look at the trees falling! We’ll build villas here, and our +grandsons and great-grandsons will see a new life here.... Play on, +music! [The band plays. LUBOV ANDREYEVNA sinks into a chair and weeps +bitterly. LOPAKHIN continues reproachfully] Why then, why didn’t you +take my advice? My poor, dear woman, you can’t go back now. [Weeps] Oh, +if only the whole thing was done with, if only our uneven, unhappy life +were changed! + +PISCHIN. [Takes his arm; in an undertone] She’s crying. Let’s go into +the drawing-room and leave her by herself... come on.... [Takes his arm +and leads him out.] + +LOPAKHIN. What’s that? Bandsmen, play nicely! Go on, do just as I want +you to! [Ironically] The new owner, the owner of the cherry orchard is +coming! [He accidentally knocks up against a little table and nearly +upsets the candelabra] I can pay for everything! [Exit with PISCHIN] + +[In the reception-room and the drawing-room nobody remains except LUBOV +ANDREYEVNA, who sits huddled up and weeping bitterly. The band plays +softly. ANYA and TROFIMOV come in quickly. ANYA goes up to her +mother and goes on her knees in front of her. TROFIMOV stands at the +drawing-room entrance.] + +ANYA. Mother! mother, are you crying? My dear, kind, good mother, my +beautiful mother, I love you! Bless you! The cherry orchard is sold, +we’ve got it no longer, it’s true, true, but don’t cry mother, you’ve +still got your life before you, you’ve still your beautiful pure soul... +Come with me, come, dear, away from here, come! We’ll plant a new +garden, finer than this, and you’ll see it, and you’ll understand, and +deep joy, gentle joy will sink into your soul, like the evening sun, and +you’ll smile, mother! Come, dear, let’s go! + +Curtain. + + + + +ACT FOUR + + +[The stage is set as for Act I. There are no curtains on the windows, no +pictures; only a few pieces of furniture are left; they are piled up in +a corner as if for sale. The emptiness is felt. By the door that +leads out of the house and at the back of the stage, portmanteaux and +travelling paraphernalia are piled up. The door on the left is open; the +voices of VARYA and ANYA can be heard through it. LOPAKHIN stands and +waits. YASHA holds a tray with little tumblers of champagne. Outside, +EPIKHODOV is tying up a box. Voices are heard behind the stage. The +peasants have come to say good-bye. The voice of GAEV is heard: “Thank +you, brothers, thank you.”] + +YASHA. The common people have come to say good-bye. I am of the +opinion, Ermolai Alexeyevitch, that they’re good people, but they don’t +understand very much. + +[The voices die away. LUBOV ANDREYEVNA and GAEV enter. She is not crying +but is pale, and her face trembles; she can hardly speak.] + +GAEV. You gave them your purse, Luba. You can’t go on like that, you +can’t! + +LUBOV. I couldn’t help myself, I couldn’t! [They go out.] + +LOPAKHIN. [In the doorway, calling after them] Please, I ask you most +humbly! Just a little glass to say good-bye. I didn’t remember to bring +any from town and I only found one bottle at the station. Please, do! +[Pause] Won’t you really have any? [Goes away from the door] If I only +knew--I wouldn’t have bought any. Well, I shan’t drink any either. +[YASHA carefully puts the tray on a chair] You have a drink, Yasha, at +any rate. + +YASHA. To those departing! And good luck to those who stay behind! +[Drinks] I can assure you that this isn’t real champagne. + +LOPAKHIN. Eight roubles a bottle. [Pause] It’s devilish cold here. + +YASHA. There are no fires to-day, we’re going away. [Laughs] + +LOPAKHIN. What’s the matter with you? + +YASHA. I’m just pleased. + +LOPAKHIN. It’s October outside, but it’s as sunny and as quiet as if +it were summer. Good for building. [Looking at his watch and speaking +through the door] Ladies and gentlemen, please remember that it’s only +forty-seven minutes till the train goes! You must go off to the station +in twenty minutes. Hurry up. + +[TROFIMOV, in an overcoat, comes in from the grounds.] + +TROFIMOV. I think it’s time we went. The carriages are waiting. Where +the devil are my goloshes? They’re lost. [Through the door] Anya, I +can’t find my goloshes! I can’t! + +LOPAKHIN. I’ve got to go to Kharkov. I’m going in the same train as you. +I’m going to spend the whole winter in Kharkov. I’ve been hanging about +with you people, going rusty without work. I can’t live without working. +I must have something to do with my hands; they hang about as if they +weren’t mine at all. + +TROFIMOV. We’ll go away now and then you’ll start again on your useful +labours. + +LOPAKHIN. Have a glass. + +TROFIMOV. I won’t. + +LOPAKHIN. So you’re off to Moscow now? + +TROFIMOV Yes. I’ll see them into town and to-morrow I’m off to Moscow. + +LOPAKHIN. Yes.... I expect the professors don’t lecture nowadays; +they’re waiting till you turn up! + +TROFIMOV. That’s not your business. + +LOPAKHIN. How many years have you been going to the university? + +TROFIMOV. Think of something fresh. This is old and flat. [Looking for +his goloshes] You know, we may not meet each other again, so just let me +give you a word of advice on parting: “Don’t wave your hands about! Get +rid of that habit of waving them about. And then, building villas and +reckoning on their residents becoming freeholders in time--that’s the +same thing; it’s all a matter of waving your hands about.... Whether +I want to or not, you know, I like you. You’ve thin, delicate fingers, +like those of an artist, and you’ve a thin, delicate soul....” + +LOPAKHIN. [Embraces him] Good-bye, dear fellow. Thanks for all you’ve +said. If you want any, take some money from me for the journey. + +TROFIMOV. Why should I? I don’t want it. + +LOPAKHIN. But you’ve nothing! + +TROFIMOV. Yes, I have, thank you; I’ve got some for a translation. Here +it is in my pocket. [Nervously] But I can’t find my goloshes! + +VARYA. [From the other room] Take your rubbish away! [Throws a pair of +rubber goloshes on to the stage.] + +TROFIMOV. Why are you angry, Varya? Hm! These aren’t my goloshes! + +LOPAKHIN. In the spring I sowed three thousand acres of poppies, and now +I’ve made forty thousand roubles net profit. And when my poppies were +in flower, what a picture it was! So I, as I was saying, made forty +thousand roubles, and I mean I’d like to lend you some, because I can +afford it. Why turn up your nose at it? I’m just a simple peasant.... + +TROFIMOV. Your father was a peasant, mine was a chemist, and that means +absolutely nothing. [LOPAKHIN takes out his pocket-book] No, no.... +Even if you gave me twenty thousand I should refuse. I’m a free man. And +everything that all you people, rich and poor, value so highly and so +dearly hasn’t the least influence over me; it’s like a flock of down in +the wind. I can do without you, I can pass you by. I’m strong and proud. +Mankind goes on to the highest truths and to the highest happiness such +as is only possible on earth, and I go in the front ranks! + +LOPAKHIN. Will you get there? + +TROFIMOV. I will. [Pause] I’ll get there and show others the way. [Axes +cutting the trees are heard in the distance.] + +LOPAKHIN. Well, good-bye, old man. It’s time to go. Here we stand +pulling one another’s noses, but life goes its own way all the time. +When I work for a long time, and I don’t get tired, then I think more +easily, and I think I get to understand why I exist. And there are so +many people in Russia, brother, who live for nothing at all. Still, work +goes on without that. Leonid Andreyevitch, they say, has accepted a post +in a bank; he will get sixty thousand roubles a year.... But he won’t +stand it; he’s very lazy. + +ANYA. [At the door] Mother asks if you will stop them cutting down the +orchard until she has gone away. + +TROFIMOV. Yes, really, you ought to have enough tact not to do that. +[Exit.] + +LOPAKHIN, All right, all right... yes, he’s right. [Exit.] + +ANYA. Has Fiers been sent to the hospital? + +YASHA. I gave the order this morning. I suppose they’ve sent him. + +ANYA. [To EPIKHODOV, who crosses the room] Simeon Panteleyevitch, please +make inquiries if Fiers has been sent to the hospital. + +YASHA. [Offended] I told Egor this morning. What’s the use of asking ten +times! + +EPIKHODOV. The aged Fiers, in my conclusive opinion, isn’t worth +mending; his forefathers had better have him. I only envy him. [Puts +a trunk on a hat-box and squashes it] Well, of course. I thought so! +[Exit.] + +YASHA. [Grinning] Two-and-twenty troubles. + +VARYA. [Behind the door] Has Fiers been taken away to the hospital? + +ANYA. Yes. + +VARYA. Why didn’t they take the letter to the doctor? + +ANYA. It’ll have to be sent after him. [Exit.] + +VARYA. [In the next room] Where’s Yasha? Tell him his mother’s come and +wants to say good-bye to him. + +YASHA. [Waving his hand] She’ll make me lose all patience! + +[DUNYASHA has meanwhile been bustling round the luggage; now that YASHA +is left alone, she goes up to him.] + +DUNYASHA. If you only looked at me once, Yasha. You’re going away, +leaving me behind. + +[Weeps and hugs him round the neck.] + +YASHA. What’s the use of crying? [Drinks champagne] In six days I’ll be +again in Paris. To-morrow we get into the express and off we go. I can +hardly believe it. Vive la France! It doesn’t suit me here, I can’t live +here... it’s no good. Well, I’ve seen the uncivilized world; I have had +enough of it. [Drinks champagne] What do you want to cry for? You behave +yourself properly, and then you won’t cry. + +DUNYASHA. [Looks in a small mirror and powders her face] Send me a +letter from Paris. You know I loved you, Yasha, so much! I’m a sensitive +creature, Yasha. + +YASHA. Somebody’s coming. + +[He bustles around the luggage, singing softly. Enter LUBOV ANDREYEVNA, +GAEV, ANYA, and CHARLOTTA IVANOVNA.] + +GAEV. We’d better be off. There’s no time left. [Looks at YASHA] +Somebody smells of herring! + +LUBOV. We needn’t get into our carriages for ten minutes.... [Looks +round the room] Good-bye, dear house, old grandfather. The winter will +go, the spring will come, and then you’ll exist no more, you’ll be +pulled down. How much these walls have seen! [Passionately kisses her +daughter] My treasure, you’re radiant, your eyes flash like two jewels! +Are you happy? Very? + +ANYA. Very! A new life is beginning, mother! + +GAEV. [Gaily] Yes, really, everything’s all right now. Before the cherry +orchard was sold we all were excited and we suffered, and then, when +the question was solved once and for all, we all calmed down, and even +became cheerful. I’m a bank official now, and a financier... red in the +middle; and you, Luba, for some reason or other, look better, there’s no +doubt about it. + +LUBOV Yes. My nerves are better, it’s true. [She puts on her coat and +hat] I sleep well. Take my luggage out, Yasha. It’s time. [To ANYA] My +little girl, we’ll soon see each other again.... I’m off to Paris. I’ll +live there on the money your grandmother from Yaroslav sent along to buy +the estate--bless her!--though it won’t last long. + +ANYA. You’ll come back soon, soon, mother, won’t you? I’ll get ready, +and pass the exam at the Higher School, and then I’ll work and help +you. We’ll read all sorts of books to one another, won’t we? [Kisses +her mother’s hands] We’ll read in the autumn evenings; we’ll read +many books, and a beautiful new world will open up before us.... +[Thoughtfully] You’ll come, mother.... + +LUBOV. I’ll come, my darling. [Embraces her.] + +[Enter LOPAKHIN. CHARLOTTA is singing to herself.] + +GAEV. Charlotta is happy; she sings! + +CHARLOTTA. [Takes a bundle, looking like a wrapped-up baby] My little +baby, bye-bye. [The baby seems to answer, “Oua! Oua!”] Hush, my nice +little boy. [“Oua! Oua!”] I’m so sorry for you! [Throws the bundle back] +So please find me a new place. I can’t go on like this. + +LOPAKHIN. We’ll find one, Charlotta Ivanovna, don’t you be afraid. + +GAEV. Everybody’s leaving us. Varya’s going away... we’ve suddenly +become unnecessary. + +CHARLOTTA. I’ve nowhere to live in town. I must go away. [Hums] Never +mind. + +[Enter PISCHIN.] + +LOPAKHIN. Nature’s marvel! + +PISCHIN. [Puffing] Oh, let me get my breath back.... I’m fagged out... +My most honoured, give me some water.... + +GAEV. Come for money, what? I’m your humble servant, and I’m going out +of the way of temptation. [Exit.] + +PISCHIN. I haven’t been here for ever so long... dear madam. [To +LOPAKHIN] You here? Glad to see you... man of immense brain... take +this... take it.... [Gives LOPAKHIN money] Four hundred roubles.... That +leaves 840.... + +LOPAKHIN. [Shrugs his shoulders in surprise] As if I were dreaming. +Where did you get this from? + +PISCHIN. Stop... it’s hot.... A most unexpected thing happened. Some +Englishmen came along and found some white clay on my land.... [To LUBOV +ANDREYEVNA] And here’s four hundred for you... beautiful lady.... [Gives +her money] Give you the rest later.... [Drinks water] Just now a young +man in the train was saying that some great philosopher advises us all +to jump off roofs. “Jump!” he says, and that’s all. [Astonished] To +think of that, now! More water! + +LOPAKHIN. Who were these Englishmen? + +PISCHIN. I’ve leased off the land with the clay to them for twenty-four +years.... Now, excuse me, I’ve no time.... I must run off.... I must +go to Znoikov and to Kardamonov... I owe them all money.... [Drinks] +Good-bye. I’ll come in on Thursday. + +LUBOV. We’re just off to town, and to-morrow I go abroad. + +PISCHIN. [Agitated] What? Why to town? I see furniture... trunks.... +Well, never mind. [Crying] Never mind. These Englishmen are men of +immense intellect.... Never mind.... Be happy.... God will help you.... +Never mind.... Everything in this world comes to an end.... [Kisses +LUBOV ANDREYEVNA’S hand] And if you should happen to hear that my end +has come, just remember this old... horse and say: “There was one +such and such a Simeonov-Pischin, God bless his soul....” Wonderful +weather... yes.... [Exit deeply moved, but returns at once and says in +the door] Dashenka sent her love! [Exit.] + +LUBOV. Now we can go. I’ve two anxieties, though. The first is poor +Fiers [Looks at her watch] We’ve still five minutes.... + +ANYA. Mother, Fiers has already been sent to the hospital. Yasha sent +him off this morning. + +LUBOV. The second is Varya. She’s used to getting up early and to work, +and now she’s no work to do she’s like a fish out of water. She’s grown +thin and pale, and she cries, poor thing.... [Pause] You know very well, +Ermolai Alexeyevitch, that I used to hope to marry her to you, and I +suppose you are going to marry somebody? [Whispers to ANYA, who nods to +CHARLOTTA, and they both go out] She loves you, she’s your sort, and I +don’t understand, I really don’t, why you seem to be keeping away from +each other. I don’t understand! + +LOPAKHIN. To tell the truth, I don’t understand it myself. It’s all so +strange.... If there’s still time, I’ll be ready at once... Let’s get it +over, once and for all; I don’t feel as if I could ever propose to her +without you. + +LUBOV. Excellent. It’ll only take a minute. I’ll call her. + +LOPAKHIN. The champagne’s very appropriate. [Looking at the tumblers] +They’re empty, somebody’s already drunk them. [YASHA coughs] I call that +licking it up.... + +LUBOV. [Animated] Excellent. We’ll go out. Yasha, allez. I’ll call her +in.... [At the door] Varya, leave that and come here. Come! [Exit with +YASHA.] + +LOPAKHIN. [Looks at his watch] Yes.... [Pause.] + +[There is a restrained laugh behind the door, a whisper, then VARYA +comes in.] + +VARYA. [Looking at the luggage in silence] I can’t seem to find it.... + +LOPAKHIN. What are you looking for? + +VARYA. I packed it myself and I don’t remember. [Pause.] + +LOPAKHIN. Where are you going to now, Barbara Mihailovna? + +VARYA. I? To the Ragulins.... I’ve got an agreement to go and look after +their house... as housekeeper or something. + +LOPAKHIN. Is that at Yashnevo? It’s about fifty miles. [Pause] So life +in this house is finished now.... + +VARYA. [Looking at the luggage] Where is it?... perhaps I’ve put it away +in the trunk.... Yes, there’ll be no more life in this house.... + +LOPAKHIN. And I’m off to Kharkov at once... by this train. I’ve a lot of +business on hand. I’m leaving Epikhodov here... I’ve taken him on. + +VARYA. Well, well! + +LOPAKHIN. Last year at this time the snow was already falling, if you +remember, and now it’s nice and sunny. Only it’s rather cold.... There’s +three degrees of frost. + +VARYA. I didn’t look. [Pause] And our thermometer’s broken.... [Pause.] + +VOICE AT THE DOOR. Ermolai Alexeyevitch! + +LOPAKHIN. [As if he has long been waiting to be called] This minute. +[Exit quickly.] + +[VARYA, sitting on the floor, puts her face on a bundle of clothes and +weeps gently. The door opens. LUBOV ANDREYEVNA enters carefully.] + +LUBOV. Well? [Pause] We must go. + +VARYA. [Not crying now, wipes her eyes] Yes, it’s quite time, little +mother. I’ll get to the Ragulins to-day, if I don’t miss the train.... + +LUBOV. [At the door] Anya, put on your things. [Enter ANYA, then GAEV, +CHARLOTTA IVANOVNA. GAEV wears a warm overcoat with a cape. A servant +and drivers come in. EPIKHODOV bustles around the luggage] Now we can go +away. + +ANYA. [Joyfully] Away! + +GAEV. My friends, my dear friends! Can I be silent, in leaving this +house for evermore?--can I restrain myself, in saying farewell, from +expressing those feelings which now fill my whole being...? + +ANYA. [Imploringly] Uncle! + +VARYA. Uncle, you shouldn’t! + +GAEV. [Stupidly] Double the red into the middle.... I’ll be quiet. + +[Enter TROFIMOV, then LOPAKHIN.] + +TROFIMOV. Well, it’s time to be off. + +LOPAKHIN. Epikhodov, my coat! + +LUBOV. I’ll sit here one more minute. It’s as if I’d never really +noticed what the walls and ceilings of this house were like, and now I +look at them greedily, with such tender love.... + +GAEV. I remember, when I was six years old, on Trinity Sunday, I sat at +this window and looked and saw my father going to church.... + +LUBOV. Have all the things been taken away? + +LOPAKHIN. Yes, all, I think. [To EPIKHODOV, putting on his coat] You see +that everything’s quite straight, Epikhodov. + +EPIKHODOV. [Hoarsely] You may depend upon me, Ermolai Alexeyevitch! + +LOPAKHIN. What’s the matter with your voice? + +EPIKHODOV. I swallowed something just now; I was having a drink of +water. + +YASHA. [Suspiciously] What manners.... + +LUBOV. We go away, and not a soul remains behind. + +LOPAKHIN. Till the spring. + +VARYA. [Drags an umbrella out of a bundle, and seems to be waving it +about. LOPAKHIN appears to be frightened] What are you doing?... I never +thought... + +TROFIMOV. Come along, let’s take our seats... it’s time! The train will +be in directly. + +VARYA. Peter, here they are, your goloshes, by that trunk. [In tears] +And how old and dirty they are.... + +TROFIMOV. [Putting them on] Come on! + +GAEV. [Deeply moved, nearly crying] The train... the station.... Cross +in the middle, a white double in the corner.... + +LUBOV. Let’s go! + +LOPAKHIN. Are you all here? There’s nobody else? [Locks the side-door on +the left] There’s a lot of things in there. I must lock them up. Come! + +ANYA. Good-bye, home! Good-bye, old life! + +TROFIMOV. Welcome, new life! [Exit with ANYA.] + +[VARYA looks round the room and goes out slowly. YASHA and CHARLOTTA, +with her little dog, go out.] + +LOPAKHIN. Till the spring, then! Come on... till we meet again! [Exit.] + +[LUBOV ANDREYEVNA and GAEV are left alone. They might almost have been +waiting for that. They fall into each other’s arms and sob restrainedly +and quietly, fearing that somebody might hear them.] + +GAEV. [In despair] My sister, my sister.... + +LUBOV. My dear, my gentle, beautiful orchard! My life, my youth, my +happiness, good-bye! Good-bye! + +ANYA’S VOICE. [Gaily] Mother! + +TROFIMOV’S VOICE. [Gaily, excited] Coo-ee! + +LUBOV. To look at the walls and the windows for the last time.... My +dead mother used to like to walk about this room.... + +GAEV. My sister, my sister! + +ANYA’S VOICE. Mother! + +TROFIMOV’S VOICE. Coo-ee! + +LUBOV. We’re coming! [They go out.] + +[The stage is empty. The sound of keys being turned in the locks is +heard, and then the noise of the carriages going away. It is quiet. Then +the sound of an axe against the trees is heard in the silence sadly and +by itself. Steps are heard. FIERS comes in from the door on the right. +He is dressed as usual, in a short jacket and white waistcoat; slippers +on his feet. He is ill. He goes to the door and tries the handle.] + +FIERS. It’s locked. They’ve gone away. [Sits on a sofa] They’ve +forgotten about me.... Never mind, I’ll sit here.... And Leonid +Andreyevitch will have gone in a light overcoat instead of putting on +his fur coat.... [Sighs anxiously] I didn’t see.... Oh, these young +people! [Mumbles something that cannot be understood] Life’s gone on as +if I’d never lived. [Lying down] I’ll lie down.... You’ve no strength +left in you, nothing left at all.... Oh, you... bungler! + +[He lies without moving. The distant sound is heard, as if from the sky, +of a breaking string, dying away sadly. Silence follows it, and only the +sound is heard, some way away in the orchard, of the axe falling on the +trees.] + +Curtain. + + + + + +End of Project Gutenberg’s Plays by Chekhov, Second Series, by Anton Chekhov + +*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK PLAYS BY CHEKHOV, SECOND SERIES *** + +***** This file should be named 7986-0.txt or 7986-0.zip ***** +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: + http://www.gutenberg.org/7/9/8/7986/ + +Produced by James Rusk and Nicole Apostola + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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Thus, we do not necessarily +keep eBooks in compliance with any particular paper edition. + + +Most people start at our Web site which has the main PG search facility: + + http://www.gutenberg.org + +This Web site includes information about Project Gutenberg-tm, +including how to make donations to the Project Gutenberg Literary +Archive Foundation, how to help produce our new eBooks, and how to +subscribe to our email newsletter to hear about new eBooks. diff --git a/7986-0.zip b/7986-0.zip Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..9e1fc75 --- /dev/null +++ b/7986-0.zip diff --git a/7986-8.txt b/7986-8.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..5eca761 --- /dev/null +++ b/7986-8.txt @@ -0,0 +1,9732 @@ +Project Gutenberg's Plays by Chekhov, Second Series, by Anton Chekhov + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: Plays by Chekhov, Second Series + On the High Road, The Proposal, The Wedding, The Bear, A + Tragedian In Spite of Himself, The Anniversary, The Three + Sisters, The Cherry Orchard + +Author: Anton Chekhov + +Release Date: April, 2005 [EBook #7986] +Posting Date: August 8, 2009 + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1 + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK PLAYS BY CHEKHOV, SECOND SERIES *** + + + + +Produced by James Rusk and Nicole Apostola + + + + + +PLAYS BY ANTON CHEKHOV, SECOND SERIES + +By Anton Chekhov + +Translated, with an Introduction, by Julius West + +[The First Series Plays have been previously published +by Project Gutenberg in etext numbers: 1753 through 1756] + + +CONTENTS + + INTRODUCTION + ON THE HIGH ROAD + THE PROPOSAL + THE WEDDING + THE BEAR + A TRAGEDIAN IN SPITE OF HIMSELF + THE ANNIVERSARY + THE THREE SISTERS + THE CHERRY ORCHARD + + + + +INTRODUCTION + +The last few years have seen a large and generally unsystematic mass of +translations from the Russian flung at the heads and hearts of English +readers. The ready acceptance of Chekhov has been one of the few +successful features of this irresponsible output. He has been welcomed +by British critics with something like affection. Bernard Shaw has +several times remarked: "Every time I see a play by Chekhov, I want to +chuck all my own stuff into the fire." Others, having no such valuable +property to sacrifice on the altar of Chekhov, have not hesitated +to place him side by side with Ibsen, and the other established +institutions of the new theatre. For these reasons it is pleasant to +be able to chronicle the fact that, by way of contrast with the casual +treatment normally handed out to Russian authors, the publishers are +issuing the complete dramatic works of this author. In 1912 they brought +out a volume containing four Chekhov plays, translated by Marian Fell. +All the dramatic works not included in her volume are to be found in the +present one. With the exception of Chekhov's masterpiece, "The Cherry +Orchard" (translated by the late Mr. George Calderon in 1912), none of +these plays have been previously published in book form in England or +America. + +It is not the business of a translator to attempt to outdo all others in +singing the praises of his raw material. This is a dangerous process and +may well lead, as it led Mr. Calderon, to drawing the reader's +attention to points of beauty not to be found in the original. A few +bibliographical details are equally necessary, and permissible, and the +elementary principles of Chekhov criticism will also be found useful. + +The very existence of "The High Road" (1884); probably the earliest +of its author's plays, will be unsuspected by English readers. During +Chekhov's lifetime it a sort of family legend, after his death it became +a family mystery. A copy was finally discovered only last year in the +Censor's office, yielded up, and published. It had been sent in 1885 +under the nom-de-plume "A. Chekhonte," and it had failed to pass. The +Censor, of the time being had scrawled his opinion on the manuscript, +"a depressing and dirty piece,--cannot be licensed." The name of the +gentleman who held this view--Kaiser von Kugelgen--gives another reason +for the educated Russian's low opinion of German-sounding institutions. +Baron von Tuzenbach, the satisfactory person in "The Three Sisters," +it will be noted, finds it as well, while he is trying to secure the +favours of Irina, to declare that his German ancestry is fairly remote. +This is by way of parenthesis. "The High Road," found after thirty +years, is a most interesting document to the lover of Chekhov. Every +play he wrote in later years was either a one-act farce or a four-act +drama. [Note: "The Swan Song" may occur as an exception. This, however, +is more of a Shakespeare recitation than anything else, and so neither +here nor there.] + +In "The High Road" we see, in an embryonic form, the whole later method +of the plays--the deliberate contrast between two strong characters +(Bortsov and Merik in this case), the careful individualization of each +person in a fairly large group by way of an introduction to the main +theme, the concealment of the catastrophe, germ-wise, in the actual +character of the characters, and the of a distinctive group-atmosphere. +It need scarcely be stated that "The High Road" is not a "dirty" piece +according to Russian or to German standards; Chekhov was incapable of +writing a dirty play or story. For the rest, this piece differs from the +others in its presentation, not of Chekhov's favourite middle-classes, +but of the moujik, nourishing, in a particularly stuffy atmosphere, an +intense mysticism and an equally intense thirst for vodka. + +"The Proposal" (1889) and "The Bear" (1890) may be taken as good +examples of the sort of humour admired by the average Russian. The +latter play, in another translation, was put on as a curtain-raiser to a +cinematograph entertainment at a London theatre in 1914; and had quite a +pleasant reception from a thoroughly Philistine audience. The humour is +very nearly of the variety most popular over here, the psychology is a +shade subtler. The Russian novelist or dramatist takes to psychology as +some of his fellow-countrymen take to drink; in doing this he achieves +fame by showing us what we already know, and at the same time he kills +his own creative power. Chekhov just escaped the tragedy of suicide by +introspection, and was only enabled to do this by the possession of +a sense of humour. That is why we should not regard "The Bear," "The +Wedding," or "The Anniversary" as the work of a merely humorous young +man, but as the saving graces which made perfect "The Cherry Orchard." + +"The Three Sisters" (1901) is said to act better than any other of +Chekhov's plays, and should surprise an English audience exceedingly. It +and "The Cherry Orchard" are the tragedies of doing nothing. The three +sisters have only one desire in the world, to go to Moscow and live +there. There is no reason on earth, economic, sentimental, or other, why +they should not pack their bags and take the next train to Moscow. But +they will not do it. They cannot do it. And we know perfectly well that +if they were transplanted thither miraculously, they would be extremely +unhappy as soon as ever the excitement of the miracle had worn off. In +the other play Mme. Ranevsky can be saved from ruin if she will only +consent to a perfectly simple step--the sale of an estate. She cannot do +this, is ruined, and thrown out into the unsympathetic world. Chekhov is +the dramatist, not of action, but of inaction. The tragedy of inaction +is as overwhelming, when we understand it, as the tragedy of an Othello, +or a Lear, crushed by the wickedness of others. The former is being +enacted daily, but we do not stage it, we do not know how. But who +shall deny that the base of almost all human unhappiness is just this +inaction, manifesting itself in slovenliness of thought and execution, +education, and ideal? + +The Russian, painfully conscious of his own weakness, has accepted this +point of view, and regards "The Cherry Orchard" as its master-study in +dramatic form. They speak of the palpitating hush which fell upon the +audience of the Moscow Art Theatre after the first fall of the curtain +at the first performance--a hush so intense as to make Chekhov's friends +undergo the initial emotions of assisting at a vast theatrical failure. +But the silence ryes almost a sob, to be followed, when overcome, by an +epic applause. And, a few months later, Chekhov died. + +This volume and that of Marian Fell--with which it is uniform--contain +all the dramatic works of Chekhov. It considered not worth while to +translate a few fragments published posthumously, or a monologue "On the +Evils of Tobacco"--a half humorous lecture by "the husband of his wife;" +which begins "Ladies, and in some respects, gentlemen," as this is +hardly dramatic work. There is also a very short skit on the efficiency +of provincial fire brigades, which was obviously not intended for the +stage and has therefore been omitted. + +Lastly, the scheme of transliteration employed has been that, generally +speaking, recommended by the Liverpool School of Russian Studies. This +is distinctly the best of those in the field, but as it would compel +one, e.g., to write a popular female name, "Marya," I have not treated +it absolute respect. For the sake of uniformity with Fell's volume, the +author's name is spelt Tchekoff on the title-page and cover. + +J. W. + + +RUSSIAN WEIGHTS AND MEASURES + +AND MONEY EMPLOYED IN THE PLAYS, WITH ENGLISH EQUIVALENTS + + 1 verst = 3600 feet = 2/3 mile (almost) + 1 arshin = 28 inches + 1 dessiatin = 2.7 acres + 1 copeck = 1/4 d + 1 rouble = 100 copecks = 2s. 1d. + + + + + +ON THE HIGH ROAD + +A DRAMATIC STUDY + + +CHARACTERS + + TIHON EVSTIGNEYEV, the proprietor of a inn on the main road + SEMYON SERGEYEVITCH BORTSOV, a ruined landowner + MARIA EGOROVNA, his wife + SAVVA, an aged pilgrim + NAZAROVNA and EFIMOVNA, women pilgrims + FEDYA, a labourer + EGOR MERIK, a tramp + KUSMA, a driver + POSTMAN + BORTSOV'S WIFE'S COACHMAN + PILGRIMS, CATTLE-DEALERS, ETC. + +The action takes place in one of the provinces of Southern Russia + + +[The scene is laid in TIHON'S bar. On the right is the bar-counter and +shelves with bottles. At the back is a door leading out of the house. +Over it, on the outside, hangs a dirty red lantern. The floor and the +forms, which stand against the wall, are closely occupied by pilgrims +and passers-by. Many of them, for lack of space, are sleeping as they +sit. It is late at night. As the curtain rises thunder is heard, and +lightning is seen through the door.] + + +[TIHON is behind the counter. FEDYA is half-lying in a heap on one +of the forms, and is quietly playing on a concertina. Next to him +is BORTSOV, wearing a shabby summer overcoat. SAVVA, NAZAROVNA, and +EFIMOVNA are stretched out on the floor by the benches.] + +EFIMOVNA. [To NAZAROVNA] Give the old man a nudge dear! Can't get any +answer out of him. + +NAZAROVNA. [Lifting the corner of a cloth covering of SAVVA'S face] Are +you alive or are you dead, you holy man? + +SAVVA. Why should I be dead? I'm alive, mother! [Raises himself on his +elbow] Cover up my feet, there's a saint! That's it. A bit more on the +right one. That's it, mother. God be good to us. + +NAZAROVNA. [Wrapping up SAVVA'S feet] Sleep, little father. + +SAVVA. What sleep can I have? If only I had the patience to endure this +pain, mother; sleep's quite another matter. A sinner doesn't deserve to +be given rest. What's that noise, pilgrim-woman? + +NAZAROVNA. God is sending a storm. The wind is wailing, and the rain is +pouring down, pouring down. All down the roof and into the windows like +dried peas. Do you hear? The windows of heaven are opened... [Thunder] +Holy, holy, holy... + +FEDYA. And it roars and thunders, and rages, sad there's no end to +it! Hoooo... it's like the noise of a forest.... Hoooo.... The wind is +wailing like a dog.... [Shrinking back] It's cold! My clothes are wet, +it's all coming in through the open door... you might put me through a +wringer.... [Plays softly] My concertina's damp, and so there's no music +for you, my Orthodox brethren, or else I'd give you such a concert, my +word!--Something marvellous! You can have a quadrille, or a polka, if +you like, or some Russian dance for two.... I can do them all. In the +town, where I was an attendant at the Grand Hotel, I couldn't make any +money, but I did wonders on my concertina. And, I can play the guitar. + +A VOICE FROM THE CORNER. A silly speech from a silly fool. + +FEDYA. I can hear another of them. [Pause.] + +NAZAROVNA. [To SAVVA] If you'd only lie where it was warm now, old man, +and warm your feet. [Pause.] Old man! Man of God! [Shakes SAVVA] Are you +going to die? + +FEDYA. You ought to drink a little vodka, grandfather. Drink, and it'll +burn, burn in your stomach, and warm up your heart. Drink, do! + +NAZAROVNA. Don't swank, young man! Perhaps the old man is giving back +his soul to God, or repenting for his sins, and you talk like that, and +play your concertina.... Put it down! You've no shame! + +FEDYA. And what are you sticking to him for? He can't do anything and +you... with your old women's talk... He can't say a word in reply, and +you're glad, and happy because he's listening to your nonsense.... You +go on sleeping, grandfather; never mind her! Let her talk, don't you +take any notice of her. A woman's tongue is the devil's broom--it will +sweep the good man and the clever man both out of the house. Don't +you mind.... [Waves his hands] But it's thin you are, brother of mine! +Terrible! Like a dead skeleton! No life in you! Are you really dying? + +SAVVA. Why should I die? Save me, O Lord, from dying in vain.... I'll +suffer a little, and then get up with God's help.... The Mother of God +won't let me die in a strange land.... I'll die at home. + +FEDYA. Are you from far off? + +SAVVA. From Vologda. The town itself.... I live there. + +FEDYA. And where is this Vologda? + +TIHON. The other side of Moscow.... + +FEDYA. Well, well, well.... You have come a long way, old man! On foot? + +SAVVA. On foot, young man. I've been to Tihon of the Don, and I'm +going to the Holy Hills. [Note: On the Donetz, south-east of Kharkov; a +monastery containing a miraculous ikon.]... From there, if God wills it, +to Odessa.... They say you can get to Jerusalem cheap from there, for +twenty-ones roubles, they say.... + +FEDYA. And have you been to Moscow? + +SAVVA. Rather! Five times.... + +FEDYA. Is it a good town? [Smokes] Well-standing? + +Sews. There are many holy places there, young man.... Where there are +many holy places it's always a good town.... + +BORTSOV. [Goes up to the counter, to TIHON] Once more, please! For the +sake of Christ, give it to me! + +FEDYA. The chief thing about a town is that it should be clean. If it's +dusty, it must be watered; if it's dirty, it must be cleaned. There +ought to be big houses... a theatre... police... cabs, which... I've +lived in a town myself, I understand. + +BORTSOV. Just a little glass. I'll pay you for it later. + +TIHON. That's enough now. + +BORTSOV. I ask you! Do be kind to me! + +TIHON. Get away! + +BORTSOV. You don't understand me.... Understand me, you fool, if there's +a drop of brain in your peasant's wooden head, that it isn't I who am +asking you, but my inside, using the words you understand, that's what's +asking! My illness is what's asking! Understand! + +TIHON. We don't understand anything.... Get back! + +BORTSOV. Because if I don't have a drink at once, just you understand +this, if I don't satisfy my needs, I may commit some crime. God only +knows what I might do! In the time you've kept this place, you rascal, +haven't you seen a lot of drunkards, and haven't you yet got to +understand what they're like? They're diseased! You can do anything you +like to them, but you must give them vodka! Well, now, I implore you! +Please! I humbly ask you! God only knows how humbly! + +TIHON. You can have the vodka if you pay for it. + +BORTSOV. Where am I to get the money? I've drunk it all! Down to the +ground! What can I give you? I've only got this coat, but I can't give +you that. I've nothing on underneath.... Would you like my cap? [Takes +it off and gives it to TIHON] + +TIHON. [Looks it over] Hm.... There are all sorts of caps.... It might +be a sieve from the holes in it.... + +FEDYA. [Laughs] A gentleman's cap! You've got to take it off in front of +the mam'selles. How do you do, good-bye! How are you? + +TIHON. [Returns the cap to BORTSOV] I wouldn't give anything for it. +It's muck. + +BORTSOV. If you don't like it, then let me owe you for the drink! I'll +bring in your five copecks on my way back from town. You can take it and +choke yourself with it then! Choke yourself! I hope it sticks in your +throat! [Coughs] I hate you! + +TIHON. [Banging the bar-counter with his fist] Why do you keep on like +that? What a man! What are you here for, you swindler? + +BORTSOV. I want a drink! It's not I, it's my disease! Understand that! + +TIHON. Don't you make me lose my temper, or you'll soon find yourself +outside! + +BORTSOV. What am I to do? [Retires from the bar-counter] What am I to +do? [Is thoughtful.] + +EFIMOVNA. It's the devil tormenting you. Don't you mind him, sir. The +damned one keeps whispering, "Drink! Drink!" And you answer him, "I +shan't drink! I shan't drink!" He'll go then. + +FEDYA. It's drumming in his head.... His stomach's leading him on! +[Laughs] Your houour's a happy man. Lie down and go to sleep! What's the +use of standing like a scarecrow in the middle of the inn! This isn't an +orchard! + +BORTSOV. [Angrily] Shut up! Nobody spoke to you, you donkey. + +FEDYA. Go on, go on! We've seen the like of you before! There's a lot +like you tramping the high road! As to being a donkey, you wait till +I've given you a clout on the ear and you'll howl worse than the wind. +Donkey yourself! Fool! [Pause] Scum! + +NAZAROVNA. The old man may be saying a prayer, or giving up his soul +to God, and here are these unclean ones wrangling with one another and +saying all sorts of... Have shame on yourselves! + +FEDYA. Here, you cabbage-stalk, you keep quiet, even if you are in a +public-house. Just you behave like everybody else. + +BORTSOV. What am I to do? What will become of me? How can I make him +understand? What else can I say to him? [To TIHON] The blood's boiling +in my chest! Uncle Tihon! [Weeps] Uncle Tihon! + +SAWA. [Groans] I've got shooting-pains in my leg, like bullets of +fire.... Little mother, pilgrim. + +EFIMOVNA. What is it, little father? + +SAVVA. Who's that crying? + +EFIMOVNA. The gentleman. + +SAVVA. Ask him to shed a tear for me, that I might die in Vologda. +Tearful prayers are heard. + +BORTSOV. I'm not praying, grandfather! These aren't tears! Just juice! +My soul is crushed; and the juice is running. [Sits by SAVVA] Juice! +But you wouldn't understand! You, with your darkened brain, wouldn't +understand. You people are all in the dark! + +SAVVA. Where will you find those who live in the light? + +BORTSOV. They do exist, grandfather.... They would understand! + +SAVVA. Yes, yes, dear friend.... The saints lived in the light.... They +understood all our griefs.... You needn't even tell them.... and they'll +understand.... Just by looking at your eyes.... And then you'll have +such peace, as if you were never in grief at all--it will all go! + +FEDYA. And have you ever seen any saints? + +SAVVA. It has happened, young man.... There are many of all sorts on +this earth. Sinners, and servants of God. + +BORTSOV. I don't understand all this.... [Gets up quickly] What's the +use of talking when you don't understand, and what sort of a brain have +I now? I've only an instinct, a thirst! [Goes quickly to the counter] +Tihon, take my coat! Understand? [Tries to take it off] My coat... + +TIHON. And what is there under your coat? [Looks under it] Your naked +body? Don't take it off, I shan't have it.... I'm not going to burden my +soul with a sin. + +[Enter MERIK.] + +BORTSOV. Very well, I'll take the sin on myself! Do you agree? + +MERIK. [In silence takes of his outer cloak and remains in a sleeveless +jacket. He carries an axe in his belt] A vagrant may sweat where a bear +will freeze. I am hot. [Puts his axe on the floor and takes off his +jacket] You get rid of a pailful of sweat while you drag one leg out of +the mud. And while you are dragging it out, the other one goes farther +in. + +EFIMOVNA. Yes, that's true... is the rain stopping, dear? + +MERIK. [Glancing at EFIMOVNA] I don't talk to old women. [A pause.] + +BORTSOV. [To TIHON] I'll take the sin on myself. Do you hear me or don't +you? + +TIHON. I don't want to hear you, get away! + +MERIK. It's as dark as if the sky was painted with pitch. You can't +see your own nose. And the rain beats into your face like a snowstorm! +[Picks up his clothes and axe.] + +FEDYA. It's a good thing for the likes of us thieves. When the cat's +away the mice will play. + +MERIK. Who says that? + +FEDYA. Look and see... before you forget. + +MERIN. We'll make a note of it.... [Goes up to TIHON] How do you do, you +with the large face! Don't you remember me. + +TIHON. If I'm to remember every one of you drunkards that walks the high +road, I reckon I'd need ten holes in my forehead. + +MERIK. Just look at me.... [A pause.] + +TIHON. Oh, yes; I remember. I knew you by your eyes! [Gives him his +hand] Andrey Polikarpov? + +MERIK. I used to be Andrey Polikarpov, but now I am Egor Merik. + +TIHON. Why's that? + +MERIK. I call myself after whatever passport God gives me. I've been +Merik for two months. [Thunder] Rrrr.... Go on thundering, I'm not +afraid! [Looks round] Any police here? + +TIHON. What are you talking about, making mountains out of +mole-hills?... The people here are all right... The police are fast +asleep in their feather beds now.... [Loudly] Orthodox brothers, mind +your pockets and your clothes, or you'll have to regret it. The man's a +rascal! He'll rob you! + +MERIK. They can look out for their money, but as to their clothes--I +shan't touch them. I've nowhere to take them. + +TIHON. Where's the devil taking you to? + +MERIK. To Kuban. + +TIHON. My word! + +FEDYA. To Kuban? Really? [Sitting up] It's a fine place. You wouldn't +see such a country, brother, if you were to fall asleep and dream for +three years. They say the birds there, and the beasts are--my God! The +grass grows all the year round, the people are good, and they've so much +land they don't know what to do with it! The authorities, they say... a +soldier was telling me the other day... give a hundred dessiatins ahead. +There's happiness, God strike me! + +MERIK. Happiness.... Happiness goes behind you.... You don't see it. +It's as near as your elbow is, but you can't bite it. It's all +silly.... [Looking round at the benches and the people] Like a lot of +prisoners.... A poor lot. + +EFIMOVNA. [To MERIK] What great, angry, eyes! There's an enemy in you, +young man.... Don't you look at us! + +MERIK. Yes, you're a poor lot here. + +EFIMOVNA. Turn away! [Nudges SAVVA] Savva, darling, a wicked man is +looking at us. He'll do us harm, dear. [To MERIK] Turn away, I tell you, +you snake! + +SAVVA. He won't touch us, mother, he won't touch us.... God won't let +him. + +MERIK. All right, Orthodox brothers! [Shrugs his shoulders] Be quiet! +You aren't asleep, you bandy-legged fools! Why don't you say something? + +EFIMOVNA. Take your great eyes away! Take away that devil's own pride! + +MERIK. Be quiet, you crooked old woman! I didn't come with the devil's +pride, but with kind words, wishing to honour your bitter lot! You're +huddled together like flies because of the cold--I'd be sorry for you, +speak kindly to you, pity your poverty, and here you go grumbling away! +[Goes up to FEDYA] Where are you from? + +FEDYA. I live in these parts. I work at the Khamonyevsky brickworks. + +MERIK. Get up. + +FEDYA. [Raising himself] Well? + +MERIK. Get up, right up. I'm going to lie down here. + +FEDYA. What's that.... It isn't your place, is it? + +MERIK. Yes, mine. Go and lie on the ground! + +FEDYA. You get out of this, you tramp. I'm not afraid of you. + +MERIK. You're very quick with your tongue.... Get up, and don't talk +about it! You'll be sorry for it, you silly. + +TIHON. [To FEDYA] Don't contradict him, young man. Never mind. + +FEDYA. What right have you? You stick out your fishy eyes and think +I'm afraid! [Picks up his belongings and stretches himself out on the +ground] You devil! [Lies down and covers himself all over.] + +MERIK. [Stretching himself out on the bench] I don't expect you've ever +seen a devil or you wouldn't call me one. Devils aren't like that. [Lies +down, putting his axe next to him.] Lie down, little brother axe... let +me cover you. + +TIHON. Where did you get the axe from? + +MERIK. Stole it.... Stole it, and now I've got to fuss over it like a +child with a new toy; I don't like to throw it away, and I've nowhere to +put it. Like a beastly wife.... Yes.... [Covering himself over] Devils +aren't like that, brother. + +FEDYA. [Uncovering his head] What are they like? + +MERIK. Like steam, like air.... Just blow into the air. [Blows] They're +like that, you can't see them. + +A VOICE FROM THE CORNER. You can see them if you sit under a harrow. + +MERIK. I've tried, but I didn't see any.... Old women's tales, and silly +old men's, too.... You won't see a devil or a ghost or a corpse.... Our +eyes weren't made so that we could see everything.... When I was a boy, +I used to walk in the woods at night on purpose to see the demon of the +woods.... I'd shout and shout, and there might be some spirit, I'd call +for the demon of the woods and not blink my eyes: I'd see all sorts of +little things moving about, but no demon. I used to go and walk about +the churchyards at night, I wanted to see the ghosts--but the women lie. +I saw all sorts of animals, but anything awful--not a sign. Our eyes +weren't... + +THE VOICE FROM THE CORNER. Never mind, it does happen that you +do see.... In our village a man was gutting a wild boar... he was +separating the tripe when... something jumped out at him! + +SAVVA. [Raising himself] Little children, don't talk about these unclean +things! It's a sin, dears! + +MERIK. Aaa... greybeard! You skeleton! [Laughs] You needn't go to the +churchyard to see ghosts, when they get up from under the floor to give +advice to their relations.... A sin!... Don't you teach people your +silly notions! You're an ignorant lot of people living in darkness.... +[Lights his pipe] My father was peasant and used to be fond of teaching +people. One night he stole a sack of apples from the village priest, and +he brings them along and tells us, "Look, children, mind you don't eat +any apples before Easter, it's a sin." You're like that.... You don't +know what a devil is, but you go calling people devils.... Take this +crooked old woman, for instance. [Points to EFIMOVNA] She sees an enemy +in me, but is her time, for some woman's nonsense or other, she's given +her soul to the devil five times. + +EFIMOVNA. Hoo, hoo, hoo.... Gracious heavens! [Covers her face] Little +Savva! + +TIHON. What are you frightening them for? A great pleasure! [The door +slams in the wind] Lord Jesus.... The wind, the wind! + +MERIK. [Stretching himself] Eh, to show my strength! [The door slams +again] If I could only measure myself against the wind! Shall I tear the +door down, or suppose I tear up the inn by the roots! [Gets up and lies +down again] How dull! + +NAZAROVNA. You'd better pray, you heathen! Why are you so restless? + +EFIMOVNA. Don't speak to him, leave him alone! He's looking at us again. +[To MERIK] Don't look at us, evil man! Your eyes are like the eyes of a +devil before cockcrow! + +SAVVA. Let him look, pilgrims! You pray, and his eyes won't do you any +harm. + +BORTSOV. No, I can't. It's too much for my strength! [Goes up to the +counter] Listen, Tihon, I ask you for the last time.... Just half a +glass! + +TIHON. [Shakes his head] The money! + +BORTSOV. My God, haven't I told you! I've drunk it all! Where am I to +get it? And you won't go broke even if you do let me have a drop of +vodka on tick. A glass of it only costs you two copecks, and it will +save me from suffering! I am suffering! Understand! I'm in misery, I'm +suffering! + +TIHON. Go and tell that to someone else, not to me.... Go and ask the +Orthodox, perhaps they'll give you some for Christ's sake, if they feel +like it, but I'll only give bread for Christ's sake. + +BORTSOV. You can rob those wretches yourself, I shan't.... I won't do +it! I won't! Understand? [Hits the bar-counter with his fist] I won't. +[A pause.] Hm... just wait.... [Turns to the pilgrim women] It's an +idea, all the same, Orthodox ones! Spare five copecks! My inside asks +for it. I'm ill! + +FEDYA. Oh, you swindler, with your "spare five copecks." Won't you have +some water? + +BORTSOV. How I am degrading myself! I don't want it! I don't want +anything! I was joking! + +MERIK. You won't get it out of him, sir.... He's a famous skinflint.... +Wait, I've got a five-copeck piece somewhere.... We'll have a glass +between us--half each [Searches in his pockets] The devil... it's lost +somewhere.... Thought I heard it tinkling just now in my pocket.... No; +no, it isn't there, brother, it's your luck! [A pause.] + +BORTSOV. But if I can't drink, I'll commit a crime or I'll kill +myself.... What shall I do, my God! [Looks through the door] Shall I go +out, then? Out into this darkness, wherever my feet take me.... + +MERIK. Why don't you give him a sermon, you pilgrims? And you, Tihon, +why don't you drive him out? He hasn't paid you for his night's +accommodation. Chuck him out! Eh, the people are cruel nowadays. There's +no gentleness or kindness in them.... A savage people! A man is drowning +and they shout to him: "Hurry up and drown, we've got no time to look +at you; we've got to go to work." As to throwing him a rope--there's no +worry about that.... A rope would cost money. + +SAVVA. Don't talk, kind man! + +MERIK. Quiet, old wolf! You're a savage race! Herods! Sellers of your +souls! [To TIHON] Come here, take off my boots! Look sharp now! + +TIHON. Eh, he's let himself go I [Laughs] Awful, isn't it. + +MERIK. Go on, do as you're told! Quick now! [Pause] Do you hear me, or +don't you? Am I talking to you or the wall? [Stands up] + +TIHON. Well... give over. + +MERIK. I want you, you fleecer, to take the boots off me, a poor tramp. + +TIHON. Well, well... don't get excited. Here have a glass.... Have a +drink, now! + +MERIK. People, what do I want? Do I want him to stand me vodka, or to +take off my boots? Didn't I say it properly? [To TIHON] Didn't you hear +me rightly? I'll wait a moment, perhaps you'll hear me then. + +[There is excitement among the pilgrims and tramps, who half-raise +themselves in order to look at TIHON and MERIK. They wait in silence.] + +TIHON. The devil brought you here! [Comes out from behind the bar] What +a gentleman! Come on now. [Takes off MERIK'S boots] You child of Cain... + +MERIK. That's right. Put them side by side.... Like that... you can go +now! + +TIHON. [Returns to the bar-counter] You're too fond of being clever. You +do it again and I'll turn you out of the inn! Yes! [To BORTSOV, who is +approaching] You, again? + +BORTSOV. Look here, suppose I give you something made of gold.... I will +give it to you. + +TIHON. What are you shaking for? Talk sense! + +BORTSOV. It may be mean and wicked on my part, but what am I to do? I'm +doing this wicked thing, not reckoning on what's to come.... If I was +tried for it, they'd let me off. Take it, only on condition that you +return it later, when I come back from town. I give it to you in front +of these witnesses. You will be my witnesses! [Takes a gold medallion +out from the breast of his coat] Here it is.... I ought to take the +portrait out, but I've nowhere to put it; I'm wet all over.... Well, +take the portrait, too! Only mind this... don't let your fingers touch +that face.... Please... I was rude to you, my dear fellow, I was a fool, +but forgive me and... don't touch it with your fingers.... Don't look at +that face with your eyes. [Gives TIHON the medallion.] + +TIHON. [Examining it] Stolen property.... All right, then, drink.... +[Pours out vodka] Confound you. + +BORTSOV. Only don't you touch it... with your fingers. [Drinks slowly, +with feverish pauses.] + +TIHON. [Opens the medallion] Hm... a lady!... Where did you get hold of +this? + +MERIK. Let's have a look. [Goes to the bar] Let's see. + +TIHON. [Pushes his hand away] Where are you going to? You look somewhere +else! + +FEDYA. [Gets up and comes to TIHON] I want to look too! + +[Several of the tramps, etc., approach the bar and form a group. MERIK +grips TIHON's hand firmly with both his, looks at the portrait, in the +medallion in silence. A pause.] + +MERIK. A pretty she-devil. A real lady.... + +FEDYA. A real lady.... Look at her cheeks, her eyes.... Open your hand, +I can't see. Hair coming down to her waist.... It is lifelike! She might +be going to say something.... [Pause.] + +MERIK. It's destruction for a weak man. A woman like that gets a hold on +one and... [Waves his hand] you're done for! + +[KUSMA'S voice is heard. "Trrr.... Stop, you brutes!" Enter KUSMA.] + +KUSMA. There stands an inn upon my way. Shall I drive or walk past it, +say? You can pass your own father and not notice him, but you can see an +inn in the dark a hundred versts away. Make way, if you believe in God! +Hullo, there! [Planks a five-copeck piece down on the counter] A glass +of real Madeira! Quick! + +FEDYA. Oh, you devil! + +TIHON. Don't wave your arms about, or you'll hit somebody. + +KUSMA. God gave us arms to wave about. Poor sugary things, you're +half-melted. You're frightened of the rain, poor delicate things. +[Drinks.] + +EFIMOVNA. You may well get frightened, good man, if you're caught on +your way in a night like this. Now, thank God, it's all right, there +are many villages and houses where you can shelter from the weather, but +before that there weren't any. Oh, Lord, it was bad! You walk a hundred +versts, and not only isn't there a village; or a house, but you don't +even see a dry stick. So you sleep on the ground.... + +KUSMA. Have you been long on this earth, old woman? + +EFIMOVNA. Over seventy years, little father. + +KUSMA. Over seventy years! You'll soon come to crow's years. [Looks at +BORTSOV] And what sort of a raisin is this? [Staring at BORTSOV] Sir! +[BORTSOV recognizes KUSMA and retires in confusion to a corner of the +room, where he sits on a bench] Semyon Sergeyevitch! Is that you, or +isn't it? Eh? What are you doing in this place? It's not the sort of +place for you, is it? + +BORTSOV. Be quiet! + +MERIK. [To KUSMA] Who is it? + +KUSMA. A miserable sufferer. [Paces irritably by the counter] Eh? In an +inn, my goodness! Tattered! Drunk! I'm upset, brothers... upset.... +[To MERIK, in an undertone] It's my master... our landlord. Semyon +Sergeyevitch and Mr. Bortsov.... Have you ever seen such a state? What +does he look like? Just... it's the drink that brought him to this.... +Give me some more! [Drinks] I come from his village, Bortsovka; you may +have heard of it, it's 200 versts from here, in the Ergovsky district. +We used to be his father's serfs.... What a shame! + +MERIK. Was he rich? + +KUSMA. Very. + +MERIK. Did he drink it all? + +KUSMA. No, my friend, it was something else.... He used to be great and +rich and sober.... [To TIHON] Why you yourself used to see him riding, +as he used to, past this inn, on his way to the town. Such bold and +noble horses! A carriage on springs, of the best quality! He used to +own five troikas, brother.... Five years ago, I remember, he cam here +driving two horses from Mikishinsky, and he paid with a five-rouble +piece.... I haven't the time, he says, to wait for the change.... There! + +MERIK. His brain's gone, I suppose. + +KUSMA. His brain's all right.... It all happened because of his +cowardice! From too much fat. First of all, children, because of a +woman.... He fell in love with a woman of the town, and it seemed to him +that there wasn't any more beautiful thing in the wide world. A fool may +love as much as a wise man. The girl's people were all right.... But +she wasn't exactly loose, but just... giddy... always changing her mind! +Always winking at one! Always laughing and laughing.... No sense at all. +The gentry like that, they think that's nice, but we moujiks would soon +chuck her out.... Well, he fell in love, and his luck ran out. He began +to keep company with her, one thing led to another... they used to go +out in a boat all night, and play pianos.... + +BORTSOV. Don't tell them, Kusma! Why should you? What has my life got to +do with them? + +KUSMA. Forgive me, your honour, I'm only telling them a little... what +does it matter, anyway.... I'm shaking all over. Pour out some more. +[Drinks.] + +MERIK. [In a semitone] And did she love him? + +KUSMA. [In a semitone which gradually becomes his ordinary voice] How +shouldn't she? He was a man of means.... Of course you'll fall in love +when the man has a thousand dessiatins and money to burn.... He was a +solid, dignified, sober gentleman... always the same, like this... give +me your hand [Takes MERIK'S hand] "How do you do and good-bye, do me +the favour." Well, I was going one evening past his garden--and what a +garden, brother, versts of it--I was going along quietly, and I look and +see the two of them sitting on a seat and kissing each other. [Imitates +the sound] He kisses her once, and the snake gives him back two.... He +was holding her white, little hand, and she was all fiery and kept on +getting closer and closer, too.... "I love you," she says. And he, like +one of the damned, walks about from one place to another and brags, +the coward, about his happiness.... Gives one man a rouble, and two to +another.... Gives me money for a horse. Let off everybody's debts.... + +BORTSOV. Oh, why tell them all about it? These people haven't any +sympathy.... It hurts! + +KUSMA. It's nothing, sir! They asked me! Why shouldn't I tell them? +But if you are angry I won't... I won't.... What do I care for them.... +[Post-bells are heard.] + +FEDYA. Don't shout; tell us quietly.... + +KUSMA. I'll tell you quietly.... He doesn't want me to, but it can't be +helped.... But there's nothing more to tell. They got married, that's +all. There was nothing else. Pour out another drop for Kusma the stony! +[Drinks] I don't like people getting drunk! Why the time the wedding +took place, when the gentlefolk sat down to supper afterwards, she went +off in a carriage... [Whispers] To the town, to her lover, a lawyer.... +Eh? What do you think of her now? Just at the very moment! She would be +let off lightly if she were killed for it! + +MERIK. [Thoughtfully] Well... what happened then? + +KUSMA. He went mad.... As you see, he started with a fly, as they say, +and now it's grown to a bumble-bee. It was a fly then, and now--it's +a bumble-bee.... And he still loves her. Look at him, he loves her! I +expect he's walking now to the town to get a glimpse of her with one +eye.... He'll get a glimpse of her, and go back.... + +[The post has driven up to the in.. The POSTMAN enters and has a drink.] + +TIHON. The post's late to-day! + +[The POSTMAN pays in silence and goes out. The post drives off, the +bells ringing.] + +A VOICE FROM THE CORNER. One could rob the post in weather like +this--easy as spitting. + +MERIK. I've been alive thirty-five years and I haven't robbed the post +once.... [Pause] It's gone now... too late, too late.... + +KUSMA. Do you want to smell the inside of a prison? + +MERIK. People rob and don't go to prison. And if I do go! [Suddenly] +What else? + +KUSMA. Do you mean that unfortunate? + +MERIK. Who else? + +KUSMA. The second reason, brothers, why he was ruined was because of +his brother-in-law, his sister's husband.... He took it into his head to +stand surety at the bank for 30,000 roubles for his brother-in-law. The +brother-in-law's a thief.... The swindler knows which side his bread's +buttered and won't budge an inch.... So he doesn't pay up.... So our man +had to pay up the whole thirty thousand. [Sighs] The fool is suffering +for his folly. His wife's got children now by the lawyer and the +brother-in-law has bought an estate near Poltava, and our man goes +round inns like a fool, and complains to the likes of us: "I've lost all +faith, brothers! I can't believe in anybody now!" It's cowardly! Every +man has his grief, a snake that sucks at his heart, and does that mean +that he must drink? Take our village elder, for example. His wife plays +about with the schoolmaster in broad daylight, and spends his money on +drink, but the elder walks about smiling to himself. He's just a little +thinner... + +TIHON. [Sighs] When God gives a man strength.... + +KUSMA. There's all sorts of strength, that's true.... Well? How much +does it come to? [Pays] Take your pound of flesh! Good-bye, children! +Good-night and pleasant dreams! It's time I hurried off. I'm bringing +my lady a midwife from the hospital.... She must be getting wet with +waiting, poor thing.... [Runs out. A pause.] + +TIHON. Oh, you! Unhappy man, come and drink this! [Pours out.] + +BORTSOV. [Comes up to the bar hesitatingly and drinks] That means I now +owe you for two glasses. + +TIHON. You don't owe me anything? Just drink and drown your sorrows! + +FEDYA. Drink mine, too, sir! Oh! [Throws down a five-copeck piece] If +you drink, you die; if you don't drink, you die. It's good not to drink +vodka, but by God you're easier when you've got some! Vodka takes grief +away.... It is hot! + +BORTSOV. Boo! The heat! + +MERIK. Dive it here! [Takes the medallion from TIHON and examines her +portrait] Hm. Ran off after the wedding. What a woman! + +A VOICE FROM THE CORNER. Pour him out another glass, Tihon. Let him +drink mine, too. + +MERIK. [Dashes the medallion to the ground] Curse her! [Goes quickly to +his place and lies down, face to the wall. General excitement.] + +BORTSOV. Here, what's that? [Picks up the medallion] How dare you, you +beast? What right have you? [Tearfully] Do you want me to kill you? You +moujik! You boor! + +TIHON. Don't be angry, sir.... It isn't glass, it isn't broken.... Have +another drink and go to sleep. [Pours out] Here I've been listening to +you all, and when I ought to have locked up long ago. [Goes and looks +door leading out.] + +BORTSOV. [Drinks] How dare he? The fool! [to MERIK] Do you understand? +You're a fool, a donkey! + +SAVVA. Children! If you please! Stop that talking! What's the good of +making a noise? Let people go to sleep. + +TIHON. Lie down, lie down... be quiet! [Goes behind the counter and +locks the till] It's time to sleep. + +FEDYA. It's time! [Lies down] Pleasant dreams, brothers! + +MERIK. [Gets up and spreads his short fur and coat the bench] Come on, +lie down, sir. + +TIHON. And where will you sleep. + +MERIK. Oh, anywhere.... The floor will do.... [Spreads a coat on the +floor] It's all one to me [Puts the axe by him] It would be torture for +him to sleep on the floor. He's used to silk and down.... + +TIHON. [To BORTSOV] Lie down, your honour! You've looked at that +portrait long enough. [Puts out a candle] Throw it away! + +BORTSOV. [Swaying about] Where can I lie down? + +TIHON. In the tramp's place! Didn't you hear him giving it up to you? + +BORTSOV. [Going up to the vacant place] I'm a bit... drunk... after all +that.... Is this it?... Do I lie down here? Eh? + +TIHON. Yes, yes, lie down, don't be afraid. [Stretches himself out on +the counter.] + +BORTSOV. [Lying down] I'm... drunk.... Everything's going round.... +[Opens the medallion] Haven't you a little candle? [Pause] You're +a queer little woman Masha.... Looking at me out of the frame and +laughing.... [Laughs] I'm drunk! And should you laugh at a man because +he's drunk? You look out, as Schastlivtsev says, and... love the +drunkard. + +FEDYA. How the wind howls. It's dreary! + +BORTSOV. [Laughs] What a woman.... Why do you keep on going round? I +can't catch you! + +MERIK. He's wandering. Looked too long at the portrait. [Laughs] What +a business! Educated people go and invent all sorts of machines and +medicines, but there hasn't yet been a man wise enough to invent a +medicine against the female sex.... They try to cure every sort of +disease, and it never occurs to them that more people die of women +than of disease.... Sly, stingy, cruel, brainless.... The mother-in-law +torments the bride and the bride makes things square by swindling the +husband... and there's no end to it.... + +TIHON. The women have ruffled his hair for him, and so he's bristly. + +MERIK. It isn't only I.... From the beginning of the ages, since the +world has been in existence, people have complained.... It's not for +nothing that in the songs and stories, the devil and the woman are put +side by side.... Not for nothing! It's half true, at any rate... [Pause] +Here's the gentleman playing the fool, but I had more sense, didn't I, +when I left my father and mother, and became a tramp? + +FEDYA. Because of women? + +MERIK. Just like the gentleman... I walked about like one of the damned, +bewitched, blessing my stars... on fire day and night, until at last my +eyes were opened... It wasn't love, but just a fraud.... + +FEDYA. What did you do to her? + +MERIK. Never you mind.... [Pause] Do you think I killed her?... I +wouldn't do it.... If you kill, you are sorry for it.... She can live +and be happy! If only I'd never set eyes on you, or if I could only +forget you, you viper's brood! [A knocking at the door.] + +TIHON. Whom have the devils brought.... Who's there? [Knocking] Who +knocks? [Gets up and goes to the door] Who knocks? Go away, we've locked +up! + +A VOICE. Please let me in, Tihon. The carriage-spring's broken! Be a +father to me and help me! If I only had a little string to tie it round +with, we'd get there somehow or other. + +TIHON. Who are you? + +THE VOICE. My lady is going to Varsonofyev from the town.... It's only +five versts farther on.... Do be a good man and help! + +TIHON. Go and tell the lady that if she pays ten roubles she can have +her string and we'll mend the spring. + +THE VOICE. Have you gone mad, or what? Ten roubles! You mad dog! +Profiting by our misfortunes! + +TIHON. Just as you like.... You needn't if you don't want to. + +THE VOICE. Very well, wait a bit. [Pause] She says, all right. + +TIHON. Pleased to hear it! + +[Opens door. The COACHMAN enters.] + +COACHMAN. Good evening, Orthodox people! Well, give me the string! +Quick! Who'll go and help us, children? There'll be something left over +for your trouble! + +TIHON. There won't be anything left over.... Let them sleep, the two of +us can manage. + +COACHMAN. Foo, I am tired! It's cold, and there's not a dry spot in all +the mud.... Another thing, dear.... Have you got a little room in here +for the lady to warm herself in? The carriage is all on one side, she +can't stay in it.... + +TIHON. What does she want a room for? She can warm herself in here, if +she's cold.... We'll find a place [Clears a space next to BORTSOV] Get +up, get up! Just lie on the floor for an hour, and let the lady get +warm. [To BORTSOV] Get up, your honour! Sit up! [BORTSOV sits up] Here's +a place for you. [Exit COACHMAN.] + +FEDYA. Here's a visitor for you, the devil's brought her! Now there'll +be no sleep before daylight. + +TIHON. I'm sorry I didn't ask for fifteen.... She'd have given them.... +[Stands expectantly before the door] You're a delicate sort of people, I +must say. [Enter MARIA EGOROVNA, followed by the COACHMAN. TIHON bows.] +Please, your highness! Our room is very humble, full of blackbeetles! +But don't disdain it! + +MARIA EGOROVNA. I can't see anything.... Which way do I go? + +TIHON. This way, your highness! [Leads her to the place next to BORTSOV] +This way, please. [Blows on the place] I haven't any separate rooms, +excuse me, but don't you be afraid, madam, the people here are good and +quiet.... + +MARIA EGOROVNA. [Sits next to BORTSOV] How awfully stuffy! Open the +door, at any rate! + +TIHON. Yes, madam. [Runs and opens the door wide.] + +MARIA. We're freezing, and you open the door! [Gets up and slams it] Who +are you to be giving orders? [Lies down] + +TIHON. Excuse me, your highness, but we've a little fool here... a bit +cracked.... But don't you be frightened, he won't do you any harm.... +Only you must excuse me, madam, I can't do this for ten roubles.... Make +it fifteen. + +MARIA EGOROVNA. Very well, only be quick. + +TIHON. This minute... this very instant. [Drags some string out from +under the counter] This minute. [A pause.] + +BORTSOV. [Looking at MARIA EGOROVNA] Marie... Masha... + +MARIA EGOROVNA. [Looks at BORTSOV] What's this? + +BORTSOV. Marie... is it you? Where do you come from? [MARIA EGOROVNA +recognizes BORTSOV, screams and runs off into the centre of the floor. +BORTSOV follows] Marie, it is I... I [Laughs loudly] My wife! Marie! +Where am I? People, a light! + +MARIA EGOROVNA. Get away from me! You lie, it isn't you! It can't be! +[Covers her face with her hands] It's a lie, it's all nonsense! + +BORTSOV. Her voice, her movements.... Marie, it is I! I'll stop in +a moment.... I was drunk.... My head's going round.... My God! Stop, +stop.... I can't understand anything. [Yells] My wife! [Falls at her +feet and sobs. A group collects around the husband and wife.] + +MARIA EGOROVNA. Stand back! [To the COACHMAN] Denis, let's go! I can't +stop here any longer! + +MERIK. [Jumps up and looks her steadily in the face] The portrait! +[Grasps her hand] It is she! Eh, people, she's the gentleman's wife! + +MARIA EGOROVNA. Get away, fellow! [Tries to tear her hand away from him] +Denis, why do you stand there staring? [DENIS and TIHON run up to her +and get hold of MERIK'S arms] This thieves' kitchen! Let go my hand! I'm +not afraid!... Get away from me! + +MERIK. [Note: Throughout this speech, in the original, Merik uses the +familiar second person singular.] Wait a bit, and I'll let go.... Just +let me say one word to you.... One word, so that you may understand.... +Just wait.... [Turns to TIHON and DENIS] Get away, you rogues, let go! I +shan't let you go till I've had my say! Stop... one moment. [Strikes +his forehead with his fist] No, God hasn't given me the wisdom! I can't +think of the word for you! + +MARIA EGOROVNA. [Tears away her hand] Get away! Drunkards... let's go, +Denis! + +[She tries to go out, but MERIK blocks the door.] + +MERIK. Just throw a glance at him, with only one eye if you like! Or say +only just one kind little word to him! God's own sake! + +MARIA EGOROVNA. Take away this... fool. + +MERIK. Then the devil take you, you accursed woman! + +[He swings his axe. General confusion. Everybody jumps up noisily and +with cries of horror. SAVVA stands between MERIK and MARIA EGOROVNA.... +DENIS forces MERIK to one side and carries out his mistress. After this +all stand as if turned to stone. A prolonged pause. BORTSOV suddenly +waves his hands in the air.] + +BORTSOV. Marie... where are you, Marie! + +NAZAROVNA. My God, my God! You've torn up my your murderers! What an +accursed night! + +MERIK. [Lowering his hand; he still holds the axe] Did I kill her or no? + + HIGH ROAD + +TIHON. Thank God, your head is safe.... + +MERIK. Then I didn't kill her.... [Totters to his bed] Fate hasn't sent +me to my death because of a stolen axe.... [Falls down and sobs] Woe! +Woe is me! Have pity on me, Orthodox people! + +Curtain. + + + + + +THE PROPOSAL + + +CHARACTERS + + STEPAN STEPANOVITCH CHUBUKOV, a landowner + NATALYA STEPANOVNA, his daughter, twenty-five years old + IVAN VASSILEVITCH LOMOV, a neighbour of Chubukov, a large and + hearty, but very suspicious landowner + +The scene is laid at CHUBUKOV's country-house + + +A drawing-room in CHUBUKOV'S house. + +[LOMOV enters, wearing a dress-jacket and white gloves. CHUBUKOV rises +to meet him.] + +CHUBUKOV. My dear fellow, whom do I see! Ivan Vassilevitch! I am +extremely glad! [Squeezes his hand] Now this is a surprise, my +darling... How are you? + +LOMOV. Thank you. And how may you be getting on? + +CHUBUKOV. We just get along somehow, my angel, to your prayers, and +so on. Sit down, please do.... Now, you know, you shouldn't forget all +about your neighbours, my darling. My dear fellow, why are you so formal +in your get-up? Evening dress, gloves, and so on. Can you be going +anywhere, my treasure? + +LOMOV. No, I've come only to see you, honoured Stepan Stepanovitch. + +CHUBUKOV. Then why are you in evening dress, my precious? As if you're +paying a New Year's Eve visit! + +LOMOV. Well, you see, it's like this. [Takes his arm] I've come to you, +honoured Stepan Stepanovitch, to trouble you with a request. Not once or +twice have I already had the privilege of applying to you for help, and +you have always, so to speak... I must ask your pardon, I am getting +excited. I shall drink some water, honoured Stepan Stepanovitch. +[Drinks.] + +CHUBUKOV. [Aside] He's come to borrow money! Shan't give him any! +[Aloud] What is it, my beauty? + +LOMOV. You see, Honour Stepanitch... I beg pardon, Stepan Honouritch... +I mean, I'm awfully excited, as you will please notice.... In short, you +alone can help me, though I don't deserve it, of course... and haven't +any right to count on your assistance.... + +CHUBUKOV. Oh, don't go round and round it, darling! Spit it out! Well? + +LOMOV. One moment... this very minute. The fact is, I've come to ask the +hand of your daughter, Natalya Stepanovna, in marriage. + +CHUBUKOV. [Joyfully] By Jove! Ivan Vassilevitch! Say it again--I didn't +hear it all! + +LOMOV. I have the honour to ask... + +CHUBUKOV. [Interrupting] My dear fellow... I'm so glad, and so on.... +Yes, indeed, and all that sort of thing. [Embraces and kisses LOMOV] +I've been hoping for it for a long time. It's been my continual desire. +[Sheds a tear] And I've always loved you, my angel, as if you were my +own son. May God give you both His help and His love and so on, and I +did so much hope... What am I behaving in this idiotic way for? I'm off +my balance with joy, absolutely off my balance! Oh, with all my soul... +I'll go and call Natasha, and all that. + +LOMOV. [Greatly moved] Honoured Stepan Stepanovitch, do you think I may +count on her consent? + +CHUBUKOV. Why, of course, my darling, and... as if she won't consent! +She's in love; egad, she's like a love-sick cat, and so on.... Shan't be +long! [Exit.] + +LOMOV. It's cold... I'm trembling all over, just as if I'd got an +examination before me. The great thing is, I must have my mind made up. +If I give myself time to think, to hesitate, to talk a lot, to look for +an ideal, or for real love, then I'll never get married.... Brr!... It's +cold! Natalya Stepanovna is an excellent housekeeper, not bad-looking, +well-educated.... What more do I want? But I'm getting a noise in +my ears from excitement. [Drinks] And it's impossible for me not to +marry.... In the first place, I'm already 35--a critical age, so to +speak. In the second place, I ought to lead a quiet and regular life.... +I suffer from palpitations, I'm excitable and always getting awfully +upset.... At this very moment my lips are trembling, and there's a +twitch in my right eyebrow.... But the very worst of all is the way +I sleep. I no sooner get into bed and begin to go off when suddenly +something in my left side--gives a pull, and I can feel it in my +shoulder and head.... I jump up like a lunatic, walk about a bit, and +lie down again, but as soon as I begin to get off to sleep there's +another pull! And this may happen twenty times.... + +[NATALYA STEPANOVNA comes in.] + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. Well, there! It's you, and papa said, "Go; there's a +merchant come for his goods." How do you do, Ivan Vassilevitch! + +LOMOV. How do you do, honoured Natalya Stepanovna? + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. You must excuse my apron and nglig... we're +shelling peas for drying. Why haven't you been here for such a long +time? Sit down. [They seat themselves] Won't you have some lunch? + +LOMOV. No, thank you, I've had some already. + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. Then smoke.... Here are the matches.... The weather +is splendid now, but yesterday it was so wet that the workmen didn't +do anything all day. How much hay have you stacked? Just think, I felt +greedy and had a whole field cut, and now I'm not at all pleased about +it because I'm afraid my hay may rot. I ought to have waited a bit. But +what's this? Why, you're in evening dress! Well, I never! Are you going +to a ball, or what?--though I must say you look better. Tell me, why are +you got up like that? + +LOMOV. [Excited] You see, honoured Natalya Stepanovna... the fact is, +I've made up my mind to ask you to hear me out.... Of course you'll be +surprised and perhaps even angry, but a... [Aside] It's awfully cold! + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. What's the matter? [Pause] Well? + +LOMOV. I shall try to be brief. You must know, honoured Natalya +Stepanovna, that I have long, since my childhood, in fact, had the +privilege of knowing your family. My late aunt and her husband, from +whom, as you know, I inherited my land, always had the greatest respect +for your father and your late mother. The Lomovs and the Chubukovs +have always had the most friendly, and I might almost say the most +affectionate, regard for each other. And, as you know, my land is a near +neighbour of yours. You will remember that my Oxen Meadows touch your +birchwoods. + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. Excuse my interrupting you. You say, "my Oxen +Meadows...." But are they yours? + +LOMOV. Yes, mine. + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. What are you talking about? Oxen Meadows are ours, +not yours! + +LOMOV. No, mine, honoured Natalya Stepanovna. + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. Well, I never knew that before. How do you make that +out? + +LOMOV. How? I'm speaking of those Oxen Meadows which are wedged in +between your birchwoods and the Burnt Marsh. + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. Yes, yes.... They're ours. + +LOMOV. No, you're mistaken, honoured Natalya Stepanovna, they're mine. + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. Just think, Ivan Vassilevitch! How long have they +been yours? + +LOMOV. How long? As long as I can remember. + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. Really, you won't get me to believe that! + +LOMOV. But you can see from the documents, honoured Natalya Stepanovna. +Oxen Meadows, it's true, were once the subject of dispute, but now +everybody knows that they are mine. There's nothing to argue about. +You see, my aunt's grandmother gave the free use of these Meadows in +perpetuity to the peasants of your father's grandfather, in return for +which they were to make bricks for her. The peasants belonging to your +father's grandfather had the free use of the Meadows for forty years, +and had got into the habit of regarding them as their own, when it +happened that... + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. No, it isn't at all like that! Both my grandfather +and great-grandfather reckoned that their land extended to Burnt +Marsh--which means that Oxen Meadows were ours. I don't see what there +is to argue about. It's simply silly! + +LOMOV. I'll show you the documents, Natalya Stepanovna! + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. No, you're simply joking, or making fun of me.... +What a surprise! We've had the land for nearly three hundred years, and +then we're suddenly told that it isn't ours! Ivan Vassilevitch, I can +hardly believe my own ears.... These Meadows aren't worth much to me. +They only come to five dessiatins [Note: 13.5 acres], and are worth +perhaps 300 roubles [Note: 30.], but I can't stand unfairness. Say what +you will, but I can't stand unfairness. + +LOMOV. Hear me out, I implore you! The peasants of your father's +grandfather, as I have already had the honour of explaining to you, used +to bake bricks for my aunt's grandmother. Now my aunt's grandmother, +wishing to make them a pleasant... + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. I can't make head or tail of all this about aunts +and grandfathers and grandmothers! The Meadows are ours, and that's all. + +LOMOV. Mine. + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. Ours! You can go on proving it for two days on end, +you can go and put on fifteen dress-jackets, but I tell you they're +ours, ours, ours! I don't want anything of yours and I don't want to +give up anything of mine. So there! + +LOMOV. Natalya Ivanovna, I don't want the Meadows, but I am acting on +principle. If you like, I'll make you a present of them. + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. I can make you a present of them myself, because +they're mine! Your behaviour, Ivan Vassilevitch, is strange, to say the +least! Up to this we have always thought of you as a good neighbour, a +friend: last year we lent you our threshing-machine, although on that +account we had to put off our own threshing till November, but you +behave to us as if we were gipsies. Giving me my own land, indeed! +No, really, that's not at all neighbourly! In my opinion, it's even +impudent, if you want to know.... + +LOMOV. Then you make out that I'm a land-grabber? Madam, never in my +life have I grabbed anybody else's land, and I shan't allow anybody to +accuse me of having done so.... [Quickly steps to the carafe and drinks +more water] Oxen Meadows are mine! + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. It's not true, they're ours! + +LOMOV. Mine! + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. It's not true! I'll prove it! I'll send my mowers +out to the Meadows this very day! + +LOMOV. What? + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. My mowers will be there this very day! + +LOMOV. I'll give it to them in the neck! + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. You dare! + +LOMOV. [Clutches at his heart] Oxen Meadows are mine! You understand? +Mine! + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. Please don't shout! You can shout yourself hoarse in +your own house, but here I must ask you to restrain yourself! + +LOMOV. If it wasn't, madam, for this awful, excruciating palpitation, +if my whole inside wasn't upset, I'd talk to you in a different way! +[Yells] Oxen Meadows are mine! + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. Ours! + +LOMOV. Mine! + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. Ours! + +LOMOV. Mine! + +[Enter CHUBUKOV.] + +CHUBUKOV. What's the matter? What are you shouting at? + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. Papa, please tell to this gentleman who owns Oxen +Meadows, we or he? + +CHUBUKOV. [To LOMOV] Darling, the Meadows are ours! + +LOMOV. But, please, Stepan Stepanitch, how can they be yours? Do be a +reasonable man! My aunt's grandmother gave the Meadows for the temporary +and free use of your grandfather's peasants. The peasants used the land +for forty years and got as accustomed to it as if it was their own, when +it happened that... + +CHUBUKOV. Excuse me, my precious.... You forget just this, that the +peasants didn't pay your grandmother and all that, because the Meadows +were in dispute, and so on. And now everybody knows that they're ours. +It means that you haven't seen the plan. + +LOMOV. I'll prove to you that they're mine! + +CHUBUKOV. You won't prove it, my darling. + +LOMOV. I shall! + +CHUBUKOV. Dear one, why yell like that? You won't prove anything just +by yelling. I don't want anything of yours, and don't intend to give up +what I have. Why should I? And you know, my beloved, that if you propose +to go on arguing about it, I'd much sooner give up the meadows to the +peasants than to you. There! + +LOMOV. I don't understand! How have you the right to give away somebody +else's property? + +CHUBUKOV. You may take it that I know whether I have the right or not. +Because, young man, I'm not used to being spoken to in that tone of +voice, and so on: I, young man, am twice your age, and ask you to speak +to me without agitating yourself, and all that. + +LOMOV. No, you just think I'm a fool and want to have me on! You call +my land yours, and then you want me to talk to you calmly and politely! +Good neighbours don't behave like that, Stepan Stepanitch! You're not a +neighbour, you're a grabber! + +CHUBUKOV. What's that? What did you say? + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. Papa, send the mowers out to the Meadows at once! + +CHUBUKOV. What did you say, sir? + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. Oxen Meadows are ours, and I shan't give them up, +shan't give them up, shan't give them up! + +LOMOV. We'll see! I'll have the matter taken to court, and then I'll +show you! + +CHUBUKOV. To court? You can take it to court, and all that! You can! I +know you; you're just on the look-out for a chance to go to court, and +all that.... You pettifogger! All your people were like that! All of +them! + +LOMOV. Never mind about my people! The Lomovs have all been honourable +people, and not one has ever been tried for embezzlement, like your +grandfather! + +CHUBUKOV. You Lomovs have had lunacy in your family, all of you! + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. All, all, all! + +CHUBUKOV. Your grandfather was a drunkard, and your younger aunt, +Nastasya Mihailovna, ran away with an architect, and so on. + +LOMOV. And your mother was hump-backed. [Clutches at his heart] +Something pulling in my side.... My head.... Help! Water! + +CHUBUKOV. Your father was a guzzling gambler! + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. And there haven't been many backbiters to equal your +aunt! + +LOMOV. My left foot has gone to sleep.... You're an intriguer.... Oh, +my heart!... And it's an open secret that before the last elections you +bri... I can see stars.... Where's my hat? + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. It's low! It's dishonest! It's mean! + +CHUBUKOV. And you're just a malicious, double-faced intriguer! Yes! + +LOMOV. Here's my hat.... My heart!... Which way? Where's the door? +Oh!... I think I'm dying.... My foot's quite numb.... [Goes to the +door.] + +CHUBUKOV. [Following him] And don't set foot in my house again! + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. Take it to court! We'll see! + +[LOMOV staggers out.] + +CHUBUKOV. Devil take him! [Walks about in excitement.] + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. What a rascal! What trust can one have in one's +neighbours after that! + +CHUBUKOV. The villain! The scarecrow! + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. The monster! First he takes our land and then he has +the impudence to abuse us. + +CHUBUKOV. And that blind hen, yes, that turnip-ghost has the confounded +cheek to make a proposal, and so on! What? A proposal! + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. What proposal? + +CHUBUKOV. Why, he came here so as to propose to you. + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. To propose? To me? Why didn't you tell me so before? + +CHUBUKOV. So he dresses up in evening clothes. The stuffed sausage! The +wizen-faced frump! + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. To propose to me? Ah! [Falls into an easy-chair and +wails] Bring him back! Back! Ah! Bring him here. + +CHUBUKOV. Bring whom here? + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. Quick, quick! I'm ill! Fetch him! [Hysterics.] + +CHUBUKOV. What's that? What's the matter with you? [Clutches at his +head] Oh, unhappy man that I am! I'll shoot myself! I'll hang myself! +We've done for her! + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. I'm dying! Fetch him! + +CHUBUKOV. Tfoo! At once. Don't yell! + +[Runs out. A pause. NATALYA STEPANOVNA wails.] + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. What have they done to me! Fetch him back! Fetch +him! [A pause.] + +[CHUBUKOV runs in.] + +CHUBUKOV. He's coming, and so on, devil take him! Ouf! Talk to him +yourself; I don't want to.... + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. [Wails] Fetch him! + +CHUBUKOV. [Yells] He's coming, I tell you. Oh, what a burden, Lord, +to be the father of a grown-up daughter! I'll cut my throat! I will, +indeed! We cursed him, abused him, drove him out, and it's all you... +you! + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. No, it was you! + +CHUBUKOV. I tell you it's not my fault. [LOMOV appears at the door] Now +you talk to him yourself [Exit.] + +[LOMOV enters, exhausted.] + +LOMOV. My heart's palpitating awfully.... My foot's gone to sleep.... +There's something keeps pulling in my side. + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. Forgive us, Ivan Vassilevitch, we were all a little +heated.... I remember now: Oxen Meadows really are yours. + +LOMOV. My heart's beating awfully.... My Meadows.... My eyebrows are +both twitching.... + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. The Meadows are yours, yes, yours.... Do sit +down.... [They sit] We were wrong.... + +LOMOV. I did it on principle.... My land is worth little to me, but the +principle... + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. Yes, the principle, just so.... Now let's talk of +something else. + +LOMOV. The more so as I have evidence. My aunt's grandmother gave the +land to your father's grandfather's peasants... + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. Yes, yes, let that pass.... [Aside] I wish I knew +how to get him started.... [Aloud] Are you going to start shooting soon? + +LOMOV. I'm thinking of having a go at the blackcock, honoured Natalya +Stepanovna, after the harvest. Oh, have you heard? Just think, what a +misfortune I've had! My dog Guess, whom you know, has gone lame. + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. What a pity! Why? + +LOMOV. I don't know.... Must have got twisted, or bitten by some other +dog.... [Sighs] My very best dog, to say nothing of the expense. I gave +Mironov 125 roubles for him. + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. It was too much, Ivan Vassilevitch. + +LOMOV. I think it was very cheap. He's a first-rate dog. + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. Papa gave 85 roubles for his Squeezer, and Squeezer +is heaps better than Guess! + +LOMOV. Squeezer better than. Guess? What an idea! [Laughs] Squeezer +better than Guess! + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. Of course he's better! Of course, Squeezer is +young, he may develop a bit, but on points and pedigree he's better than +anything that even Volchanetsky has got. + +LOMOV. Excuse me, Natalya Stepanovna, but you forget that he is +overshot, and an overshot always means the dog is a bad hunter! + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. Overshot, is he? The first time I hear it! + +LOMOV. I assure you that his lower jaw is shorter than the upper. + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. Have you measured? + +LOMOV. Yes. He's all right at following, of course, but if you want him +to get hold of anything... + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. In the first place, our Squeezer is a thoroughbred +animal, the son of Harness and Chisels, while there's no getting at +the pedigree of your dog at all.... He's old and as ugly as a worn-out +cab-horse. + +LOMOV. He is old, but I wouldn't take five Squeezers for him.... Why, +how can you?... Guess is a dog; as for Squeezer, well, it's too funny to +argue.... Anybody you like has a dog as good as Squeezer... you may find +them under every bush almost. Twenty-five roubles would be a handsome +price to pay for him. + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. There's some demon of contradiction in you to-day, +Ivan Vassilevitch. First you pretend that the Meadows are yours; now, +that Guess is better than Squeezer. I don't like people who don't say +what they mean, because you know perfectly well that Squeezer is a +hundred times better than your silly Guess. Why do you want to say it +isn't? + +LOMOV. I see, Natalya Stepanovna, that you consider me either blind or a +fool. You must realize that Squeezer is overshot! + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. It's not true. + +LOMOV. He is! + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. It's not true! + +LOMOV. Why shout, madam? + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. Why talk rot? It's awful! It's time your Guess was +shot, and you compare him with Squeezer! + +LOMOV. Excuse me; I cannot continue this discussion: my heart is +palpitating. + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. I've noticed that those hunters argue most who know +least. + +LOMOV. Madam, please be silent.... My heart is going to pieces.... +[Shouts] Shut up! + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. I shan't shut up until you acknowledge that Squeezer +is a hundred times better than your Guess! + +LOMOV. A hundred times worse! Be hanged to your Squeezer! His head... +eyes... shoulder... + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. There's no need to hang your silly Guess; he's +half-dead already! + +LOMOV. [Weeps] Shut up! My heart's bursting! + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. I shan't shut up. + +[Enter CHUBUKOV.] + +CHUBUKOV. What's the matter now? + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. Papa, tell us truly, which is the better dog, our +Squeezer or his Guess. + +LOMOV. Stepan Stepanovitch, I implore you to tell me just one thing: is +your Squeezer overshot or not? Yes or no? + +CHUBUKOV. And suppose he is? What does it matter? He's the best dog in +the district for all that, and so on. + +LOMOV. But isn't my Guess better? Really, now? + +CHUBUKOV. Don't excite yourself, my precious one.... Allow me.... Your +Guess certainly has his good points.... He's pure-bred, firm on his +feet, has well-sprung ribs, and all that. But, my dear man, if you want +to know the truth, that dog has two defects: he's old and he's short in +the muzzle. + +LOMOV. Excuse me, my heart.... Let's take the facts.... You will +remember that on the Marusinsky hunt my Guess ran neck-and-neck with the +Count's dog, while your Squeezer was left a whole verst behind. + +CHUBUKOV. He got left behind because the Count's whipper-in hit him with +his whip. + +LOMOV. And with good reason. The dogs are running after a fox, when +Squeezer goes and starts worrying a sheep! + +CHUBUKOV. It's not true!... My dear fellow, I'm very liable to lose my +temper, and so, just because of that, let's stop arguing. You started +because everybody is always jealous of everybody else's dogs. Yes, we're +all like that! You too, sir, aren't blameless! You no sooner notice that +some dog is better than your Guess than you begin with this, that... and +the other... and all that.... I remember everything! + +LOMOV. I remember too! + +CHUBUKOV. [Teasing him] I remember, too.... What do you remember? + +LOMOV. My heart... my foot's gone to sleep.... I can't... + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. [Teasing] My heart.... What sort of a hunter are +you? You ought to go and lie on the kitchen oven and catch blackbeetles, +not go after foxes! My heart! + +CHUBUKOV. Yes really, what sort of a hunter are you, anyway? You ought +to sit at home with your palpitations, and not go tracking animals. You +could go hunting, but you only go to argue with people and interfere +with their dogs and so on. Let's change the subject in case I lose my +temper. You're not a hunter at all, anyway! + +LOMOV. And are you a hunter? You only go hunting to get in with the +Count and to intrigue.... Oh, my heart!... You're an intriguer! + +CHUBUKOV. What? I an intriguer? [Shouts] Shut up! + +LOMOV. Intriguer! + +CHUBUKOV. Boy! Pup! + +LOMOV. Old rat! Jesuit! + +CHUBUKOV. Shut up or I'll shoot you like a partridge! You fool! + +LOMOV. Everybody knows that--oh my heart!--your late wife used to beat +you.... My feet... temples... sparks.... I fall, I fall! + +CHUBUKOV. And you're under the slipper of your housekeeper! + +LOMOV. There, there, there... my heart's burst! My shoulder's come +off.... Where is my shoulder? I die. [Falls into an armchair] A doctor! +[Faints.] + +CHUBUKOV. Boy! Milksop! Fool! I'm sick! [Drinks water] Sick! + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. What sort of a hunter are you? You can't even sit on +a horse! [To her father] Papa, what's the matter with him? Papa! Look, +papa! [Screams] Ivan Vassilevitch! He's dead! + +CHUBUKOV. I'm sick!... I can't breathe!... Air! + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. He's dead. [Pulls LOMOV'S sleeve] Ivan Vassilevitch! +Ivan Vassilevitch! What have you done to me? He's dead. [Falls into an +armchair] A doctor, a doctor! [Hysterics.] + +CHUBUKOV. Oh!... What is it? What's the matter? + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. [Wails] He's dead... dead! + +CHUBUKOV. Who's dead? [Looks at LOMOV] So he is! My word! Water! A +doctor! [Lifts a tumbler to LOMOV'S mouth] Drink this!... No, he doesn't +drink.... It means he's dead, and all that.... I'm the most unhappy of +men! Why don't I put a bullet into my brain? Why haven't I cut my throat +yet? What am I waiting for? Give me a knife! Give me a pistol! [LOMOV +moves] He seems to be coming round.... Drink some water! That's +right.... + +LOMOV. I see stars... mist.... Where am I? + +CHUBUKOV. Hurry up and get married and--well, to the devil with you! +She's willing! [He puts LOMOV'S hand into his daughter's] She's willing +and all that. I give you my blessing and so on. Only leave me in peace! + +LOMOV. [Getting up] Eh? What? To whom? + +CHUBUKOV. She's willing! Well? Kiss and be damned to you! + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. [Wails] He's alive... Yes, yes, I'm willing.... + +CHUBUKOV. Kiss each other! + +LOMOV. Eh? Kiss whom? [They kiss] Very nice, too. Excuse me, what's +it all about? Oh, now I understand... my heart... stars... I'm happy. +Natalya Stepanovna.... [Kisses her hand] My foot's gone to sleep.... + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. I... I'm happy too.... + +CHUBUKOV. What a weight off my shoulders.... Ouf! + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. But... still you will admit now that Guess is worse +than Squeezer. + +LOMOV. Better! + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. Worse! + +CHUBUKOV. Well, that's a way to start your family bliss! Have some +champagne! + +LOMOV. He's better! + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. Worse! worse! worse! + +CHUBUKOV. [Trying to shout her down] Champagne! Champagne! + +Curtain. + + + + + +THE WEDDING + + +CHARACTERS + + EVDOKIM ZAHAROVITCH ZHIGALOV, a retired Civil Servant. + NASTASYA TIMOFEYEVNA, his wife + DASHENKA, their daughter + EPAMINOND MAXIMOVITCH APLOMBOV, Dashenka's bridegroom + FYODOR YAKOVLEVITCH REVUNOV-KARAULOV, a retired captain + ANDREY ANDREYEVITCH NUNIN, an insurance agent + ANNA MARTINOVNA ZMEYUKINA, a midwife, aged 30, in a brilliantly red dress + IVAN MIHAILOVITCH YATS, a telegraphist + HARLAMPI SPIRIDONOVITCH DIMBA, a Greek confectioner + DMITRI STEPANOVITCH MOZGOVOY, a sailor of the Imperial Navy (Volunteer + Fleet) + GROOMSMEN, GENTLEMEN, WAITERS, ETC. + +The scene is laid in one of the rooms of Andronov's Restaurant + + +[A brilliantly illuminated room. A large table, laid for supper. Waiters +in dress-jackets are fussing round the table. An orchestra behind the +scene is playing the music of the last figure of a quadrille.] + +[ANNA MARTINOVNA ZMEYUKINA, YATS, and a GROOMSMAN cross the stage.] + +ZMEYUKINA. No, no, no! + +YATS. [Following her] Have pity on us! Have pity! + +ZMEYUKINA. No, no, no! + +GROOMSMAN. [Chasing them] You can't go on like this! Where are you off +to? What about the _grand ronde? Grand ronde, s'il vous plait_! [They +all go off.] + +[Enter NASTASYA TIMOFEYEVNA and APLOMBOV.] + +NASTASYA TIMOFEYEVNA. You had much better be dancing than upsetting me +with your speeches. + +APLOMBOV. I'm not a Spinosa or anybody of that sort, to go making +figures-of-eight with my legs. I am a serious man, and I have a +character, and I see no amusement in empty pleasures. But it isn't just +a matter of dances. You must excuse me, maman, but there is a good deal +in your behaviour which I am unable to understand. For instance, in +addition to objects of domestic importance, you promised also to give +me, with your daughter, two lottery tickets. Where are they? + +NASTASYA TIMOFEYEVNA. My head's aching a little... I expect it's on +account of the weather.... If only it thawed! + +APLOMBOV. You won't get out of it like that. I only found out to-day +that those tickets are in pawn. You must excuse me, _maman_, but +it's only swindlers who behave like that. I'm not doing this out of +egoisticism [Note: So in the original]--I don't want your tickets--but +on principle; and I don't allow myself to be done by anybody. I have +made your daughter happy, and if you don't give me the tickets to-day +I'll make short work of her. I'm an honourable man! + +NASTASYA TIMOFEYEVNA. [Looks round the table and counts up the covers] +One, two, three, four, five... + +A WAITER. The cook asks if you would like the ices served with rum, +madeira, or by themselves? + +APLOMBOV. With rum. And tell the manager that there's not enough wine. +Tell him to prepare some more Haut Sauterne. [To NASTASYA TIMOFEYEVNA] +You also promised and agreed that a general was to be here to supper. +And where is he? + +NASTASYA TIMOFEYEVNA. That isn't my fault, my dear. + +APLOMBOV. Whose fault, then? + +NASTASYA TIMOFEYEVNA. It's Andrey Andreyevitch's fault.... Yesterday he +came to see us and promised to bring a perfectly real general. [Sighs] I +suppose he couldn't find one anywhere, or he'd have brought him.... +You think we don't mind? We'd begrudge our child nothing. A general, of +course... + +APLOMBOV. But there's more.... Everybody, including yourself, _maman_, +is aware of the fact that Yats, that telegraphist, was after Dashenka +before I proposed to her. Why did you invite him? Surely you knew it +would be unpleasant for me? + +NASTASYA TIMOFEYEVNA. Oh, how can you? Epaminond Maximovitch was married +himself only the other day, and you've already tired me and Dashenka out +with your talk. What will you be like in a year's time? You are horrid, +really horrid. + +APLOMBOV. Then you don't like to hear the truth? Aha! Oh, oh! Then +behave honourably. I only want you to do one thing, be honourable! + +[Couples dancing the _grand ronde_ come in at one door and out at the +other end. The first couple are DASHENKA with one of the GROOMSMEN. The +last are YATS and ZMEYUKINA. These two remain behind. ZHIGALOV and DIMBA +enter and go up to the table.] + +GROOMSMAN. [Shouting] Promenade! Messieurs, promenade! [Behind] +Promenade! + +[The dancers have all left the scene.] + +YATS. [To ZMEYUKINA] Have pity! Have pity, adorable Anna Martinovna. + +ZMEYUKINA. Oh, what a man!... I've already told you that I've no voice +to-day. + +YATS. I implore you to sing! Just one note! Have pity! Just one note! + +ZMEYUKINA. I'm tired of you.... [Sits and fans herself.] + +YATS. No, you're simply heartless! To be so cruel--if I may express +myself--and to have such a beautiful, beautiful voice! With such +a voice, if you will forgive my using the word, you shouldn't be a +midwife, but sing at concerts, at public gatherings! For example, how +divinely you do that _fioritura_... that... [Sings] "I loved you; love +was vain then...." Exquisite! + +ZMEYUKINA. [Sings] "I loved you, and may love again." Is that it? + +YATS. That's it! Beautiful! + +ZMEYUKINA. No, I've no voice to-day.... There, wave this fan for +me... it's hot! [To APLOMBOV] Epaminond Maximovitch, why are you so +melancholy? A bridegroom shouldn't be! Aren't you ashamed of yourself, +you wretch? Well, what are you so thoughtful about? + +APLOMBOV. Marriage is a serious step! Everything must be considered from +all sides, thoroughly. + +ZMEYUKINA. What beastly sceptics you all are! I feel quite suffocated +with you all around.... Give me atmosphere! Do you hear? Give me +atmosphere! [Sings a few notes.] + +YATS. Beautiful! Beautiful! + +ZMEYUKINA. Fan me, fan me, or I feel I shall have a heart attack in a +minute. Tell me, please, why do I feel so suffocated? + +YATS. It's because you're sweating.... + +ZMEYUKINA. Foo, how vulgar you are! Don't dare to use such words! + +YATS. Beg pardon! Of course, you're used, if I may say so, to +aristocratic society and.... + +ZMEYUKINA. Oh, leave me alone! Give me poetry, delight! Fan me, fan me! + +ZHIGALOV. [To DIMBA] Let's have another, what? [Pours out] One can +always drink. So long only, Harlampi Spiridonovitch, as one doesn't +forget one's business. Drink and be merry.... And if you can drink at +somebody else's expense, then why not drink? You can drink.... Your +health! [They drink] And do you have tigers in Greece? + +DIMBA. Yes. + +ZHIGALOV. And lions? + +DIMBA. And lions too. In Russia zere's nussing, and in Greece zere's +everysing--my fazer and uncle and brozeres--and here zere's nussing. + +ZHIGALOV. H'm.... And are there whales in Greece? + +DIMBA. Yes, everysing. + +NASTASYA TIMOFEYEVNA. [To her husband] What are they all eating and +drinking like that for? It's time for everybody to sit down to supper. +Don't keep on shoving your fork into the lobsters.... They're for the +general. He may come yet.... + +ZHIGALOV. And are there lobsters in Greece? + +DIMBA. Yes... zere is everysing. + +ZHIGALOV. Hm.... And Civil Servants. + +ZMEYUKINA. I can imagine what the atmosphere is like in Greece! + +ZHIGALOV. There must be a lot of swindling. The Greeks are just like the +Armenians or gipsies. They sell you a sponge or a goldfish and all the +time they are looking out for a chance of getting something extra out of +you. Let's have another, what? + +NASTASYA TIMOFEYEVNA. What do you want to go on having another for? It's +time everybody sat down to supper. It's past eleven. + +ZHIGALOV. If it's time, then it's time. Ladies and gentlemen, please! +[Shouts] Supper! Young people! + +NASTASYA TIMOFEYEVNA. Dear visitors, please be seated! + +ZMEYUKINA. [Sitting down at the table] Give me poetry. + + "And he, the rebel, seeks the storm, + As if the storm can give him peace." + +Give me the storm! + +YATS. [Aside] Wonderful woman! I'm in love! Up to my ears! + +[Enter DASHENKA, MOZGOVOY, GROOMSMEN, various ladies and gentlemen, +etc. They all noisily seat themselves at the table. There is a minute's +pause, while the band plays a march.] + +MOZGOVOY. [Rising] Ladies and gentlemen! I must tell you this.... We are +going to have a great many toasts and speeches. Don't let's wait, but +begin at once. Ladies and gentlemen, the newly married! + +[The band plays a flourish. Cheers. Glasses are touched. APLOMBOV and +DASHENKA kiss each other.] + +YATS. Beautiful! Beautiful! I must say, ladies and gentlemen, giving +honour where it is due, that this room and the accommodation generally +are splendid! Excellent, wonderful! Only you know, there's one thing +we haven't got--electric light, if I may say so! Into every country +electric light has already been introduced, only Russia lags behind. + +ZHIGALOV. [Meditatively] Electricity... h'm.... In my opinion electric +lighting is just a swindle.... They put a live coal in and think you +don't see them! No, if you want a light, then you don't take a coal, but +something real, something special, that you can get hold of! You must +have a fire, you understand, which is natural, not just an invention! + +YATS. If you'd ever seen an electric battery, and how it's made up, +you'd think differently. + +ZHIGALOV. Don't want to see one. It's a swindle, a fraud on the +public.... They want to squeeze our last breath out of us.... We know +then, these... And, young man, instead of defending a swindle, you would +be much better occupied if you had another yourself and poured out some +for other people--yes! + +APLOMBOV. I entirely agree with you, papa. Why start a learned +discussion? I myself have no objection to talking about every possible +scientific discovery, but this isn't the time for all that! [To +DASHENKA] What do you think, _ma chre_? + +DASHENKA. They want to show how educated they are, and so they always +talk about things we can't understand. + +NASTASYA TIMOFEYEVNA. Thank God, we've lived our time without being +educated, and here we are marrying off our third daughter to an honest +man. And if you think we're uneducated, then what do you want to come +here for? Go to your educated friends! + +YATS. I, Nastasya Timofeyevna, have always held your family in respect, +and if I did start talking about electric lighting it doesn't mean that +I'm proud. I'll drink, to show you. I have always sincerely wished Daria +Evdokimovna a good husband. In these days, Nastasya Timofeyevna, it is +difficult to find a good husband. Nowadays everybody is on the look-out +for a marriage where there is profit, money.... + +APLOMBOV. That's a hint! + +YATS. [His courage failing] I wasn't hinting at anything.... Present +company is always excepted.... I was only in general.... Please! +Everybody knows that you're marrying for love... the dowry is quite +trifling. + +NASTASYA TIMOFEYEVNA. No, it isn't trifling! You be careful what you +say. Besides a thousand roubles of good money, we're giving three +dresses, the bed, and all the furniture. You won't find another dowry +like that in a hurry! + +YATS. I didn't mean... The furniture's splendid, of course, and... and +the dresses, but I never hinted at what they are getting offended at. + +NASTASYA TIMOFEYEVNA. Don't you go making hints. We respect you on +account of your parents, and we've invited you to the wedding, and here +you go talking. If you knew that Epaminond Maximovitch was marrying for +profit, why didn't you say so before? [Tearfully] I brought her up, +I fed her, I nursed her.... I cared for her more than if she was an +emerald jewel, my little girl.... + +APLOMBOV. And you go and believe him? Thank you so much! I'm very +grateful to you! [To YATS] And as for you, Mr. Yats, although you are +acquainted with me, I shan't allow you to behave like this in another's +house. Please get out of this! + +YATS. What do you mean? + +APLOMBOV. I want you to be as straightforward as I am! In short, please +get out! [Band plays a flourish] + +THE GENTLEMEN. Leave him alone! Sit down! Is it worth it! Let him be! +Stop it now! + +YATS. I never... I... I don't understand.... Please, I'll go.... Only +you first give me the five roubles which you borrowed from me last year +on the strength of a _piqu_ waistcoat, if I may say so. Then I'll just +have another drink and... go, only give me the money first. + +VARIOUS GENTLEMEN. Sit down! That's enough! Is it worth it, just for +such trifles? + +A GROOMSMAN. [Shouts] The health of the bride's parents, Evdokim +Zaharitch and Nastasya Timofeyevna! [Band plays a flourish. Cheers.] + +ZHIGALOV. [Bows in all directions, in great emotion] I thank you! Dear +guests! I am very grateful to you for not having forgotten and for +having conferred this honour upon us without being standoffish And you +must not think that I'm a rascal, or that I'm trying to swindle anybody. +I'm speaking from my heart--from the purity of my soul! I wouldn't deny +anything to good people! We thank you very humbly! [Kisses.] + +DASHENKA. [To her mother] Mama, why are you crying? I'm so happy! + +APLOMBOV. _Maman_ is disturbed at your coming separation. But I should +advise her rather to remember the last talk we had. + +YATS. Don't cry, Nastasya Timofeyevna! Just think what are human tears, +anyway? Just petty psychiatry, and nothing more! + +ZMEYUKINA. And are there any red-haired men in Greece? + +DIMBA. Yes, everysing is zere. + +ZHIGALOV. But you don't have our kinds of mushroom. + +DIMBA. Yes, we've got zem and everysing. + +MOZGOVOY. Harlampi Spiridonovitch, it's your turn to speak! Ladies and +gentlemen, a speech! + +ALL. [To DIMBA] Speech! speech! Your turn! + +DIMBA. Why? I don't understand.... What is it! + +ZMEYUKINA. No, no! You can't refuse! It's you turn! Get up! + +DIMBA. [Gets up, confused] I can't say what... Zere's Russia and zere's +Greece. Zere's people in Russia and people in Greece.... And zere's +people swimming the sea in karavs, which mean sips, and people on +the land in railway trains. I understand. We are Greeks and you are +Russians, and I want nussing.... I can tell you... zere's Russia and +zere's Greece... + +[Enter NUNIN.] + +NUNIN. Wait, ladies and gentlemen, don't eat now! Wait! Just one minute, +Nastasya Timofeyevna! Just come here, if you don't mind! [Takes NASTASYA +TIMOFEYEVNA aside, puffing] Listen... The General's coming... I +found one at last.... I'm simply worn out.... A real General, a solid +one--old, you know, aged perhaps eighty, or even ninety. + +NASTASYA TIMOFEYEVNA. When is he coming? + +NUNIN. This minute. You'll be grateful to me all your life. [Note: A +few lines have been omitted: they refer to the "General's" rank and +its civil equivalent in words for which the English language has +no corresponding terms. The "General" is an ex-naval officer, a +second-class captain.] + +NASTASYA TIMOFEYEVNA. You're not deceiving me, Andrey darling? + +NUNIN. Well, now, am I a swindler? You needn't worry! + +NASTASYA TIMOFEYEVNA. [Sighs] One doesn't like to spend money for +nothing, Andrey darling! + +NUNIN. Don't you worry! He's not a general, he's a dream! [Raises his +voice] I said to him: "You've quite forgotten us, your Excellency! +It isn't kind of your Excellency to forget your old friends! Nastasya +Timofeyevna," I said to him, "she's very annoyed with you about it!" +[Goes and sits at the table] And he says to me: "But, my friend, how can +I go when I don't know the bridegroom?" "Oh, nonsense, your excellency, +why stand on ceremony? The bridegroom," I said to him, "he's a fine +fellow, very free and easy. He's a valuer," I said, "at the Law courts, +and don't you think, your excellency, that he's some rascal, some knave +of hearts. Nowadays," I said to him, "even decent women are employed at +the Law courts." He slapped me on the shoulder, we smoked a Havana cigar +each, and now he's coming.... Wait a little, ladies and gentlemen, don't +eat.... + +APLOMBOV. When's he coming? + +NUNIN. This minute. When I left him he was already putting on his +goloshes. Wait a little, ladies and gentlemen, don't eat yet. + +APLOMBOV. The band should be told to play a march. + +NUNIN. [Shouts] Musicians! A march! [The band plays a march for a +minute.] + +A WAITER. Mr. Revunov-Karaulov! + +[ZHIGALOV, NASTASYA TIMOFEYEVNA, and NUNIN run to meet him. Enter +REVUNOV-KARAULOV.] + +NASTASYA TIMOFEYEVNA. [Bowing] Please come in, your excellency! So glad +you've come! + +REVUNOV. Awfully! + +ZHIGALOV. We, your excellency, aren't celebrities, we aren't important, +but quite ordinary, but don't think on that account that there's any +fraud. We put good people into the best place, we begrudge nothing. +Please! + +REVUNOV. Awfully glad! + +NUNIN. Let me introduce to you, your excellency, the bridegroom, +Epaminond Maximovitch Aplombov, with his newly born... I mean his newly +married wife! Ivan Mihailovitch Yats, employed on the telegraph! A +foreigner of Greek nationality, a confectioner by trade, Harlampi +Spiridonovitch Dimba! Osip Lukitch Babelmandebsky! And so on, and so +on.... The rest are just trash. Sit down, your excellency! + +REVUNOV. Awfully! Excuse me, ladies and gentlemen, I just want to say +two words to Andrey. [Takes NUNIN aside] I say, old man, I'm a little +put out.... Why do you call me your excellency? I'm not a general! I +don't rank as the equivalent of a colonel, even. + +NUNIN. [Whispers] I know, only, Fyodor Yakovlevitch, be a good man +and let us call you your excellency! The family here, you see, is +patriarchal; it respects the aged, it likes rank. + +REVUNOV. Oh, if it's like that, very well.... [Goes to the table] +Awfully! + +NASTASYA TIMOFEYEVNA. Sit down, your excellency! Be so good as to have +some of this, your excellency! Only forgive us for not being used to +etiquette; we're plain people! + +REVUNOV. [Not hearing] What? Hm... yes. [Pause] Yes.... In the old days +everybody used to live simply and was happy. In spite of my rank, I am +a man who lives plainly. To-day Andrey comes to me and asks me to come +here to the wedding. "How shall I go," I said, "when I don't know them? +It's not good manners!" But he says: "They are good, simple, patriarchal +people, glad to see anybody." Well, if that's the case... why not? +Very glad to come. It's very dull for me at home by myself, and if my +presence at a wedding can make anybody happy, then I'm delighted to be +here.... + +ZHIGALOV. Then that's sincere, is it, your excellency? I respect that! +I'm a plain man myself, without any deception, and I respect others who +are like that. Eat, your excellency! + +APLOMBOV. Is it long since you retired, your excellency? + +REVUNOV. Eh? Yes, yes.... Quite true.... Yes. But, excuse me, what +is this? The fish is sour... and the bread is sour. I can't eat this! +[APLOMBOV and DASHENKA kiss each other] He, he, he... Your health! +[Pause] Yes.... In the old days everything was simple and everybody was +glad.... I love simplicity.... I'm an old man. I retired in 1865. I'm +72. Yes, of course, in my younger days it was different, but--[Sees +MOZGOVOY] You there... a sailor, are you? + +MOZGOVOY. Yes, just so. + +REVUNOV. Aha, so... yes. The navy means hard work. There's a lot to +think about and get a headache over. Every insignificant word has, so +to speak, its special meaning! For instance, "Hoist her top-sheets +and mainsail!" What's it mean? A sailor can tell! He, he!--With almost +mathematical precision! + +NUNIN. The health of his excellency Fyodor Yakovlevitch +Revunov-Karaulov! [Band plays a flourish. Cheers.] + +YATS. You, your excellency, have just expressed yourself on the subject +of the hard work involved in a naval career. But is telegraphy any +easier? Nowadays, your excellency, nobody is appointed to the telegraphs +if he cannot read and write French and German. But the transmission of +telegrams is the most difficult thing of all. Awfully difficult! Just +listen. + +[Taps with his fork on the table, like a telegraphic transmitter.] + +REVUNOV. What does that mean? + +YATS. It means, "I honour you, your excellency, for your virtues." You +think it's easy? Listen now. [Taps.] + +REVUNOV. Louder; I can't hear.... + +YATS. That means, "Madam, how happy I am to hold you in my embraces!" + +REVUNOV. What madam are you talking about? Yes.... [To MOZGOVOY] Yes, if +there's a head-wind you must... let's see... you must hoist your foretop +halyards and topsail halyards! The order is: "On the cross-trees to +the foretop halyards and topsail halyards" and at the same time, as +the sails get loose, you take hold underneath of the foresail and +fore-topsail halyards, stays and braces. + +A GROOMSMAN. [Rising] Ladies and gentlemen... + +REVUNOV. [Cutting him short] Yes... there are a great many orders to +give. "Furl the fore-topsail and the foretop-gallant sail!!" Well, +what does that mean? It's very simple! It means that if the top and +top-gallant sails are lifting the halyards, they must level the foretop +and foretop-gallant halyards on the hoist and at the same time the +top-gallants braces, as needed, are loosened according to the direction +of the wind... + +NUNIN. [To REVUNOV] Fyodor Yakovlevitch, Mme. Zhigalov asks you to +talk about something else. It's very dull for the guests, who can't +understand.... + +REVUNOV. What? Who's dull? [To MOZGOVOY] Young man! Now suppose the ship +is lying by the wind, on the starboard tack, under full sail, and you've +got to bring her before the wind. What's the order? Well, first you +whistle up above! He, he! + +NUNIN. Fyodor Yakovlevitch, that's enough. Eat something. + +REVUNOV. As soon as the men are on deck you give the order, "To your +places!" What a life! You give orders, and at the same time you've +got to keep your eyes on the sailors, who run about like flashes of +lightning and get the sails and braces right. And at last you can't +restrain yourself, and you shout, "Good children!" [He chokes and +coughs.] + +A GROOMSMAN. [Making haste to use the ensuing pause to advantage] On +this occasion, so to speak, on the day on which we have met together to +honour our dear... + +REVUNOV. [Interrupting] Yes, you've got to remember all that! For +instance, "Hoist the topsail halyards. Lower the topsail gallants!" + +THE GROOMSMAN. [Annoyed] Why does he keep on interrupting? We shan't get +through a single speech like that! + +NASTASYA TIMOFEYEVNA. We are dull people, your excellency, and don't +understand a word of all that, but if you were to tell us something +appropriate... + +REVUNOV. [Not hearing] I've already had supper, thank you. Did you say +there was goose? Thanks... yes. I've remembered the old days.... It's +pleasant, young man! You sail on the sea, you have no worries, and [In +an excited tone of voice] do you remember the joy of tacking? Is there a +sailor who doesn't glow at the memory of that manoeuvre? As soon as the +word is given and the whistle blown and the crew begins to go up--it's +as if an electric spark has run through them all. From the captain to +the cabin-boy, everybody's excited. + +ZMEYUKINA. How dull! How dull! [General murmur.] + +REVUNOV. [Who has not heard it properly] Thank you, I've had supper. +[With enthusiasm] Everybody's ready, and looks to the senior officer. +He gives the command: "Stand by, gallants and topsail braces on the +starboard side, main and counter-braces to port!" Everything's done in +a twinkling. Top-sheets and jib-sheets are pulled... taken to starboard. +[Stands up] The ship takes the wind and at last the sails fill out. The +senior officer orders, "To the braces," and himself keeps his eye on the +mainsail, and when at last this sail is filling out and the ship begins +to turn, he yells at the top of his voice, "Let go the braces! Loose the +main halyards!" Everything flies about, there's a general confusion for +a moment--and everything is done without an error. The ship has been +tacked! + +NASTASYA TIMOFEYEVNA. [Exploding] General, your manners.... You ought to +be ashamed of yourself, at your age! + +REVUNOV. Did you say sausage? No, I haven't had any... thank you. + +NASTASYA TIMOFEYEVNA. [Loudly] I say you ought to be ashamed of yourself +at your age! General, your manners are awful! + +NUNIN. [Confused] Ladies and gentlemen, is it worth it? Really... + +REVUNOV. In the first place, I'm not a general, but a second-class naval +captain, which, according to the table of precedence, corresponds to a +lieutenant-colonel. + +NASTASYA TIMOFEYEVNA. If you're not a general, then what did you go and +take our money for? We never paid you money to behave like that! + +REVUNOV. [Upset] What money? + +NASTASYA TIMOFEYEVNA. You know what money. You know that you got 25 +roubles from Andrey Andreyevitch.... [To NUNIN] And you look out, +Andrey! I never asked you to hire a man like that! + +NUNIN. There now... let it drop. Is it worth it? + +REVUNOV. Paid... hired.... What is it? + +APLOMBOV. Just let me ask you this. Did you receive 25 roubles from +Andrey Andreyevitch? + +REVUNOV. What 25 roubles? [Suddenly realizing] That's what it is! Now I +understand it all.... How mean! How mean! + +APLOMBOV. Did you take the money? + +REVUNOV. I haven't taken any money! Get away from me! [Leaves the table] +How mean! How low! To insult an old man, a sailor, an officer who has +served long and faithfully! If you were decent people I could call +somebody out, but what can I do now? [Absently] Where's the door? Which +way do I go? Waiter, show me the way out! Waiter! [Going] How mean! How +low! [Exit.] + +NASTASYA TIMOFEYEVNA. Andrey, where are those 25 roubles? + +NUNIN. Is it worth while bothering about such trifles? What does it +matter! Everybody's happy here, and here you go.... [Shouts] The health +of the bride and bridegroom! A march! A march! [The band plays a march] +The health of the bride and bridegroom! + +ZMEYUKINA. I'm suffocating! Give me atmosphere! I'm suffocating with you +all round me! + +YATS. [In a transport of delight] My beauty! My beauty! [Uproar.] + +A GROOMSMAN. [Trying to shout everybody else down] Ladies and gentlemen! +On this occasion, if I may say so... + +Curtain. + + + + + +THE BEAR + + +CHARACTERS + + ELENA IVANOVNA POPOVA, a landowning little widow, with dimples on her + cheeks + GRIGORY STEPANOVITCH SMIRNOV, a middle-aged landowner + LUKA, Popova's aged footman + + +[A drawing-room in POPOVA'S house.] + +[POPOVA is in deep mourning and has her eyes fixed on a photograph. LUKA +is haranguing her.] + +LUKA. It isn't right, madam.... You're just destroying yourself. The +maid and the cook have gone off fruit picking, every living being is +rejoicing, even the cat understands how to enjoy herself and walks about +in the yard, catching midges; only you sit in this room all day, as if +this was a convent, and don't take any pleasure. Yes, really! I reckon +it's a whole year that you haven't left the house! + +POPOVA. I shall never go out.... Why should I? My life is already at an +end. He is in his grave, and I have buried myself between four walls.... +We are both dead. + +LUKA. Well, there you are! Nicolai Mihailovitch is dead, well, it's the +will of God, and may his soul rest in peace.... You've mourned him--and +quite right. But you can't go on weeping and wearing mourning for ever. +My old woman died too, when her time came. Well? I grieved over her, I +wept for a month, and that's enough for her, but if I've got to weep +for a whole age, well, the old woman isn't worth it. [Sighs] You've +forgotten all your neighbours. You don't go anywhere, and you see +nobody. We live, so to speak, like spiders, and never see the light. +The mice have eaten my livery. It isn't as if there were no good people +around, for the district's full of them. There's a regiment quartered at +Riblov, and the officers are such beauties--you can never gaze your fill +at them. And, every Friday, there's a ball at the camp, and every day +the soldier's band plays.... Eh, my lady! You're young and beautiful, +with roses in your cheek--if you only took a little pleasure. Beauty +won't last long, you know. In ten years' time you'll want to be a +pea-hen yourself among the officers, but they won't look at you, it will +be too late. + +POPOVA. [With determination] I must ask you never to talk to me about +it! You know that when Nicolai Mihailovitch died, life lost all its +meaning for me. I vowed never to the end of my days to cease to wear +mourning, or to see the light.... You hear? Let his ghost see how well I +love him.... Yes, I know it's no secret to you that he was often unfair +to me, cruel, and... and even unfaithful, but I shall be true till +death, and show him how I can love. There, beyond the grave, he will see +me as I was before his death.... + +LUKA. Instead of talking like that you ought to go and have a walk in +the garden, or else order Toby or Giant to be harnessed, and then drive +out to see some of the neighbours. + +POPOVA. Oh! [Weeps.] + +LUKA. Madam! Dear madam! What is it? Bless you! + +POPOVA. He was so fond of Toby! He always used to ride on him to the +Korchagins and Vlasovs. How well he could ride! What grace there was +in his figure when he pulled at the reins with all his strength! Do you +remember? Toby, Toby! Tell them to give him an extra feed of oats. + +LUKA. Yes, madam. [A bell rings noisily.] + +POPOVA. [Shaking] Who's that? Tell them that I receive nobody. + +LUKA. Yes, madam. [Exit.] + +POPOVA. [Looks at the photograph] You will see, Nicolas, how I can love +and forgive.... My love will die out with me, only when this poor heart +will cease to beat. [Laughs through her tears] And aren't you ashamed? +I am a good and virtuous little wife. I've locked myself in, and will +be true to you till the grave, and you... aren't you ashamed, you bad +child? You deceived me, had rows with me, left me alone for weeks on +end.... + +[LUKA enters in consternation.] + +LUKA. Madam, somebody is asking for you. He wants to see you.... + +POPOVA. But didn't you tell him that since the death of my husband I've +stopped receiving? + +LUKA. I did, but he wouldn't even listen; says that it's a very pressing +affair. + +POPOVA. I do not re-ceive! + +LUKA. I told him so, but the... the devil... curses and pushes himself +right in.... He's in the dining-room now. + +POPOVA. [Annoyed] Very well, ask him in.... What manners! [Exit LUKA] +How these people annoy me! What does he want of me? Why should he +disturb my peace? [Sighs] No, I see that I shall have to go into a +convent after all. [Thoughtfully] Yes, into a convent.... [Enter LUKA +with SMIRNOV.] + +SMIRNOV. [To LUKA] You fool, you're too fond of talking.... Ass! [Sees +POPOVA and speaks with respect] Madam, I have the honour to present +myself, I am Grigory Stepanovitch Smirnov, landowner and retired +lieutenant of artillery! I am compelled to disturb you on a very +pressing affair. + +POPOVA. [Not giving him her hand] What do you want? + +SMIRNOV. Your late husband, with whom I had the honour of being +acquainted, died in my debt for one thousand two hundred roubles, on +two bills of exchange. As I've got to pay the interest on a mortgage +to-morrow, I've come to ask you, madam, to pay me the money to-day. + +POPOVA. One thousand two hundred.... And what was my husband in debt to +you for? + +SMIRNOV. He used to buy oats from me. + +POPOVA. [Sighing, to LUKA] So don't you forget, Luka, to give Toby an +extra feed of oats. [Exit LUKA] If Nicolai Mihailovitch died in debt to +you, then I shall certainly pay you, but you must excuse me to-day, as I +haven't any spare cash. The day after to-morrow my steward will be back +from town, and I'll give him instructions to settle your account, but +at the moment I cannot do as you wish.... Moreover, it's exactly seven +months to-day since the death of my husband, and I'm in a state of mind +which absolutely prevents me from giving money matters my attention. + +SMIRNOV. And I'm in a state of mind which, if I don't pay the interest +due to-morrow, will force me to make a graceful exit from this life feet +first. They'll take my estate! + +POPOVA. You'll have your money the day after to-morrow. + +SMIRNOV. I don't want the money the day after tomorrow, I want it +to-day. + +POPOVA. You must excuse me, I can't pay you. + +SMIRNOV. And I can't wait till after to-morrow. + +POPOVA. Well, what can I do, if I haven't the money now! + +SMIRNOV. You mean to say, you can't pay me? + +POPOVA. I can't. + +SMIRNOV. Hm! Is that the last word you've got to say? + +POPOVA. Yes, the last word. + +SMIRNOV. The last word? Absolutely your last? + +POPOVA. Absolutely. + +SMIRNOV. Thank you so much. I'll make a note of it. [Shrugs his +shoulders] And then people want me to keep calm! I meet a man on +the road, and he asks me "Why are you always so angry, Grigory +Stepanovitch?" But how on earth am I not to get angry? I want the money +desperately. I rode out yesterday, early in the morning, and called on +all my debtors, and not a single one of them paid up! I was just about +dead-beat after it all, slept, goodness knows where, in some inn, kept +by a Jew, with a vodka-barrel by my head. At last I get here, seventy +versts from home, and hope to get something, and I am received by you +with a "state of mind"! How shouldn't I get angry. + +POPOVA. I thought I distinctly said my steward will pay you when he +returns from town. + +SMIRNOV. I didn't come to your steward, but to you! What the devil, +excuse my saying so, have I to do with your steward! + +POPOVA. Excuse me, sir, I am not accustomed to listen to such +expressions or to such a tone of voice. I want to hear no more. [Makes a +rapid exit.] + +SMIRNOV. Well, there! "A state of mind."... "Husband died seven months +ago!" Must I pay the interest, or mustn't I? I ask you: Must I pay, +or must I not? Suppose your husband is dead, and you've got a state +of mind, and nonsense of that sort.... And your steward's gone away +somewhere, devil take him, what do you want me to do? Do you think I can +fly away from my creditors in a balloon, or what? Or do you expect me +to go and run my head into a brick wall? I go to Grusdev and he isn't at +home, Yaroshevitch has hidden himself, I had a violent row with Kuritsin +and nearly threw him out of the window, Mazugo has something the matter +with his bowels, and this woman has "a state of mind." Not one of the +swine wants to pay me! Just because I'm too gentle with them, because +I'm a rag, just weak wax in their hands! I'm much too gentle with them! +Well, just you wait! You'll find out what I'm like! I shan't let you +play about with me, confound it! I shall jolly well stay here until she +pays! Brr!... How angry I am to-day, how angry I am! All my inside is +quivering with anger, and I can't even breathe.... Foo, my word, I even +feel sick! [Yells] Waiter! + +[Enter LUKA.] + +LUKA. What is it? + +SMIRNOV. Get me some kvass or water! [Exit LUKA] What a way to reason! A +man is in desperate need of his money, and she won't pay it because, +you see, she is not disposed to attend to money matters!... That's real +silly feminine logic. That's why I never did like, and don't like now, +to have to talk to women. I'd rather sit on a barrel of gunpowder than +talk to a woman. Brr!... I feel quite chilly--and it's all on account of +that little bit of fluff! I can't even see one of these poetic creatures +from a distance without breaking out into a cold sweat out of sheer +anger. I can't look at them. [Enter LUKA with water.] + +LUKA. Madam is ill and will see nobody. + +SMIRNOV. Get out! [Exit LUKA] Ill and will see nobody! No, it's all +right, you don't see me.... I'm going to stay and will sit here till you +give me the money. You can be ill for a week, if you like, and I'll stay +here for a week.... If you're ill for a year--I'll stay for a year. +I'm going to get my own, my dear! You don't get at me with your widow's +weeds and your dimpled cheeks! I know those dimples! [Shouts through the +window] Simeon, take them out! We aren't going away at once! I'm staying +here! Tell them in the stable to give the horses some oats! You +fool, you've let the near horse's leg get tied up in the reins again! +[Teasingly] "Never mind...." I'll give it you. "Never mind." [Goes away +from the window] Oh, it's bad.... The heat's frightful, nobody pays up. +I slept badly, and on top of everything else here's a bit of fluff in +mourning with "a state of mind."... My head's aching.... Shall I have +some vodka, what? Yes, I think I will. [Yells] Waiter! + +[Enter LUKA.] + +LUKA. What is it? + +SMIRNOV. A glass of vodka! [Exit LUKA] Ouf! [Sits and inspects himself] +I must say I look well! Dust all over, boots dirty, unwashed, unkempt, +straw on my waistcoat.... The dear lady may well have taken me for a +brigand. [Yawns] It's rather impolite to come into a drawing-room in +this state, but it can't be helped.... I am not here as a visitor, +but as a creditor, and there's no dress specially prescribed for +creditors.... + +[Enter LUKA with the vodka.] + +LUKA. You allow yourself to go very far, sir.... + +SMIRNOV [Angrily] What? + +LUKA. I... er... nothing... I really... + +SMIRNOV. Whom are you talking to? Shut up! + +LUKA. [Aside] The devil's come to stay.... Bad luck that brought him.... +[Exit.] + +SMIRNOV. Oh, how angry I am! So angry that I think I could grind the +whole world to dust.... I even feel sick.... [Yells] Waiter! + +[Enter POPOVA.] + +POPOVA. [Her eyes downcast] Sir, in my solitude I have grown +unaccustomed to the masculine voice, and I can't stand shouting. I must +ask you not to disturb my peace. + +SMIRNOV. Pay me the money, and I'll go. + +POPOVA. I told you perfectly plainly; I haven't any money to spare; wait +until the day after to-morrow. + +SMIRNOV. And I told you perfectly plainly I don't want the money the day +after to-morrow, but to-day. If you don't pay me to-day, I'll have to +hang myself to-morrow. + +POPOVA. But what can I do if I haven't got the money? You're so strange! + +SMIRNOV. Then you won't pay me now? Eh? + +POPOVA. I can't. + +SMIRNOV. In that case I stay here and shall wait until I get it. [Sits +down] You're going to pay me the day after to-morrow? Very well! I'll +stay here until the day after to-morrow. I'll sit here all the time.... +[Jumps up] I ask you: Have I got to pay the interest to-morrow, or +haven't I? Or do you think I'm doing this for a joke? + +POPOVA. Please don't shout! This isn't a stable! + +SMIRNOV. I wasn't asking you about a stable, but whether I'd got my +interest to pay to-morrow or not? + +POPOVA. You don't know how to behave before women! + +SMIRNOV. No, I do know how to behave before women! + +POPOVA. No, you don't! You're a rude, ill-bred man! Decent people don't +talk to a woman like that! + +SMIRNOV. What a business! How do you want me to talk to you? In French, +or what? [Loses his temper and lisps] _Madame, je vous prie_.... How +happy I am that you don't pay me.... Ah, pardon. I have disturbed you! +Such lovely weather to-day! And how well you look in mourning! [Bows.] + +POPOVA. That's silly and rude. + +SMIRNOV. [Teasing her] Silly and rude! I don't know how to behave before +women! Madam, in my time I've seen more women than you've seen sparrows! +Three times I've fought duels on account of women. I've refused twelve +women, and nine have refused me! Yes! There was a time when I played the +fool, scented myself, used honeyed words, wore jewellery, made beautiful +bows. I used to love, to suffer, to sigh at the moon, to get sour, to +thaw, to freeze.... I used to love passionately, madly, every blessed +way, devil take me; I used to chatter like a magpie about emancipation, +and wasted half my wealth on tender feelings, but now--you must excuse +me! You won't get round me like that now! I've had enough! Black eyes, +passionate eyes, ruby lips, dimpled cheeks, the moon, whispers, timid +breathing--I wouldn't give a brass farthing for the lot, madam! Present +company always excepted, all women, great or little, are insincere, +crooked, backbiters, envious, liars to the marrow of their bones, vain, +trivial, merciless, unreasonable, and, as far as this is concerned [taps +his forehead] excuse my outspokenness, a sparrow can give ten points to +any philosopher in petticoats you like to name! You look at one of +these poetic creatures: all muslin, an ethereal demi-goddess, you have a +million transports of joy, and you look into her soul--and see a common +crocodile! [He grips the back of a chair; the chair creaks and breaks] +But the most disgusting thing of all is that this crocodile for some +reason or other imagines that its chef d'oeuvre, its privilege and +monopoly, is its tender feelings. Why, confound it, hang me on that nail +feet upwards, if you like, but have you met a woman who can love anybody +except a lapdog? When she's in love, can she do anything but snivel and +slobber? While a man is suffering and making sacrifices all her love +expresses itself in her playing about with her scarf, and trying to hook +him more firmly by the nose. You have the misfortune to be a woman, you +know from yourself what is the nature of woman. Tell me truthfully, +have you ever seen a woman who was sincere, faithful, and constant? You +haven't! Only freaks and old women are faithful and constant! You'll +meet a cat with a horn or a white woodcock sooner than a constant woman! + +POPOVA. Then, according to you, who is faithful and constant in love? Is +it the man? + +SMIRNOV. Yes, the man! + +POPOVA. The man! [Laughs bitterly] Men are faithful and constant in +love! What an idea! [With heat] What right have you to talk like that? +Men are faithful and constant! Since we are talking about it, I'll +tell you that of all the men I knew and know, the best was my late +husband.... I loved him passionately with all my being, as only a young +and imaginative woman can love, I gave him my youth, my happiness, my +life, my fortune, I breathed in him, I worshipped him as if I were a +heathen, and... and what then? This best of men shamelessly deceived me +at every step! After his death I found in his desk a whole drawerful +of love-letters, and when he was alive--it's an awful thing to +remember!--he used to leave me alone for weeks at a time, and make love +to other women and betray me before my very eyes; he wasted my money, +and made fun of my feelings.... And, in spite of all that, I loved him +and was true to him. And not only that, but, now that he is dead, I +am still true and constant to his memory. I have shut myself for ever +within these four walls, and will wear these weeds to the very end.... + +SMIRNOV. [Laughs contemptuously] Weeds!... I don't understand what you +take me for. As if I don't know why you wear that black domino and bury +yourself between four walls! I should say I did! It's so mysterious, so +poetic! When some junker [Note: So in the original.] or some tame poet +goes past your windows he'll think: "There lives the mysterious Tamara +who, for the love of her husband, buried herself between four walls." We +know these games! + +POPOVA. [Exploding] What? How dare you say all that to me? + +SMIRNOV. You may have buried yourself alive, but you haven't forgotten +to powder your face! + +POPOVA. How dare you speak to me like that? + +SMIRNOV. Please don't shout, I'm not your steward! You must allow me to +call things by their real names. I'm not a woman, and I'm used to saying +what I think straight out! Don't you shout, either! + +POPOVA. I'm not shouting, it's you! Please leave me alone! + +SMIRNOV. Pay me my money and I'll go. + +POPOVA. I shan't give you any money! + +SMIRNOV. Oh, no, you will. + +POPOVA. I shan't give you a farthing, just to spite you. You leave me +alone! + +SMIRNOV. I have not the pleasure of being either your husband or your +fianc, so please don't make scenes. [Sits] I don't like it. + +POPOVA. [Choking with rage] So you sit down? + +SMIRNOV. I do. + +POPOVA. I ask you to go away! + +SMIRNOV. Give me my money.... [Aside] Oh, how angry I am! How angry I +am! + +POPOVA. I don't want to talk to impudent scoundrels! Get out of this! +[Pause] Aren't you going? No? + +SMIRNOV. No. + +POPOVA. No? + +SMIRNOV. No! + +POPOVA. Very well then! [Rings, enter LUKA] Luka, show this gentleman +out! + +LUKA. [Approaches SMIRNOV] Would you mind going out, sir, as you're +asked to! You needn't... + +SMIRNOV. [Jumps up] Shut up! Who are you talking to? I'll chop you into +pieces! + +LUKA. [Clutches at his heart] Little fathers!... What people!... [Falls +into a chair] Oh, I'm ill, I'm ill! I can't breathe! + +POPOVA. Where's Dasha? Dasha! [Shouts] Dasha! Pelageya! Dasha! [Rings.] + +LUKA. Oh! They've all gone out to pick fruit.... There's nobody at home! +I'm ill! Water! + +POPOVA. Get out of this, now. + +SMIRNOV. Can't you be more polite? + +POPOVA. [Clenches her fists and stamps her foot] You're a boor! A coarse +bear! A Bourbon! A monster! + +SMIRNOV. What? What did you say? + +POPOVA. I said you are a bear, a monster! + +SMIRNOV. [Approaching her] May I ask what right you have to insult me? + +POPOVA. And suppose I am insulting you? Do you think I'm afraid of you? + +SMIRNOV. And do you think that just because you're a poetic creature you +can insult me with impunity? Eh? We'll fight it out! + +LUKA. Little fathers!... What people!... Water! + +SMIRNOV. Pistols! + +POPOVA. Do you think I'm afraid of you just because you have large fists +and a bull's throat? Eh? You Bourbon! + +SMIRNOV. We'll fight it out! I'm not going to be insulted by anybody, +and I don't care if you are a woman, one of the "softer sex," indeed! + +POPOVA. [Trying to interrupt him] Bear! Bear! Bear! + +SMIRNOV. It's about time we got rid of the prejudice that only men need +pay for their insults. Devil take it, if you want equality of rights you +can have it. We're going to fight it out! + +POPOVA. With pistols? Very well! + +SMIRNOV. This very minute. + +POPOVA. This very minute! My husband had some pistols.... I'll bring +them here. [Is going, but turns back] What pleasure it will give me to +put a bullet into your thick head! Devil take you! [Exit.] + +SMIRNOV. I'll bring her down like a chicken! I'm not a little boy or a +sentimental puppy; I don't care about this "softer sex." + +LUKA. Gracious little fathers!... [Kneels] Have pity on a poor old man, +and go away from here! You've frightened her to death, and now you want +to shoot her! + +SMIRNOV. [Not hearing him] If she fights, well that's equality of +rights, emancipation, and all that! Here the sexes are equal! I'll shoot +her on principle! But what a woman! [Parodying her] "Devil take you! +I'll put a bullet into your thick head." Eh? How she reddened, how her +cheeks shone!... She accepted my challenge! My word, it's the first time +in my life that I've seen.... + +LUKA. Go away, sir, and I'll always pray to God for you! + +SMIRNOV. She is a woman! That's the sort I can understand! A real woman! +Not a sour-faced jellybag, but fire, gunpowder, a rocket! I'm even sorry +to have to kill her! + +LUKA. [Weeps] Dear... dear sir, do go away! + +SMIRNOV. I absolutely like her! Absolutely! Even though her cheeks are +dimpled, I like her! I'm almost ready to let the debt go... and I'm not +angry any longer.... Wonderful woman! + +[Enter POPOVA with pistols.] + +POPOVA. Here are the pistols.... But before we fight you must show me +how to fire. I've never held a pistol in my hands before. + +LUKA. Oh, Lord, have mercy and save her.... I'll go and find the +coachman and the gardener.... Why has this infliction come on us.... +[Exit.] + +SMIRNOV. [Examining the pistols] You see, there are several sorts of +pistols.... There are Mortimer pistols, specially made for duels, they +fire a percussion-cap. These are Smith and Wesson revolvers, triple +action, with extractors.... These are excellent pistols. They can't cost +less than ninety roubles the pair.... You must hold the revolver like +this.... [Aside] Her eyes, her eyes! What an inspiring woman! + +POPOVA. Like this? + +SMIRNOV. Yes, like this.... Then you cock the trigger, and take aim like +this.... Put your head back a little! Hold your arm out properly.... +Like that.... Then you press this thing with your finger--and that's +all. The great thing is to keep cool and aim steadily.... Try not to +jerk your arm. + +POPOVA. Very well.... It's inconvenient to shoot in a room, let's go +into the garden. + +SMIRNOV. Come along then. But I warn you, I'm going to fire in the air. + +POPOVA. That's the last straw! Why? + +SMIRNOV. Because... because... it's my affair. + +POPOVA. Are you afraid? Yes? Ah! No, sir, you don't get out of it! You +come with me! I shan't have any peace until I've made a hole in your +forehead... that forehead which I hate so much! Are you afraid? + +SMIRNOV. Yes, I am afraid. + +POPOVA. You lie! Why won't you fight? + +SMIRNOV. Because... because you... because I like you. + +POPOVA. [Laughs] He likes me! He dares to say that he likes me! [Points +to the door] That's the way. + +SMIRNOV. [Loads the revolver in silence, takes his cap and goes to the +door. There he stops for half a minute, while they look at each other +in silence, then he hesitatingly approaches POPOVA] Listen.... Are you +still angry? I'm devilishly annoyed, too... but, do you understand... +how can I express myself?... The fact is, you see, it's like this, so to +speak.... [Shouts] Well, is it my fault that I like you? [He snatches at +the back of a chair; the chair creaks and breaks] Devil take it, how I'm +smashing up your furniture! I like you! Do you understand? I... I almost +love you! + +POPOVA. Get away from me--I hate you! + +SMIRNOV. God, what a woman! I've never in my life seen one like her! I'm +lost! Done for! Fallen into a mousetrap, like a mouse! + +POPOVA. Stand back, or I'll fire! + +SMIRNOV. Fire, then! You can't understand what happiness it would be to +die before those beautiful eyes, to be shot by a revolver held in that +little, velvet hand.... I'm out of my senses! Think, and make up your +mind at once, because if I go out we shall never see each other again! +Decide now.... I am a landowner, of respectable character, have an +income of ten thousand a year. I can put a bullet through a coin tossed +into the air as it comes down.... I own some fine horses.... Will you be +my wife? + +POPOVA. [Indignantly shakes her revolver] Let's fight! Let's go out! + +SMIRNOV. I'm mad.... I understand nothing. [Yells] Waiter, water! + +POPOVA. [Yells] Let's go out and fight! + +SMIRNOV. I'm off my head, I'm in love like a boy, like a fool! [Snatches +her hand, she screams with pain] I love you! [Kneels] I love you as I've +never loved before! I've refused twelve women, nine have refused me, +but I never loved one of them as I love you.... I'm weak, I'm wax, I've +melted.... I'm on my knees like a fool, offering you my hand.... Shame, +shame! I haven't been in love for five years, I'd taken a vow, and now +all of a sudden I'm in love, like a fish out of water! I offer you my +hand. Yes or no? You don't want me? Very well! [Gets up and quickly goes +to the door.] + +POPOVA. Stop. + +SMIRNOV. [Stops] Well? + +POPOVA. Nothing, go away.... No, stop.... No, go away, go away! I hate +you! Or no.... Don't go away! Oh, if you knew how angry I am, how angry +I am! [Throws her revolver on the table] My fingers have swollen because +of all this.... [Tears her handkerchief in temper] What are you waiting +for? Get out! + +SMIRNOV. Good-bye. + +POPOVA. Yes, yes, go away!... [Yells] Where are you going? Stop.... No, +go away. Oh, how angry I am! Don't come near me, don't come near me! + +SMIRNOV. [Approaching her] How angry I am with myself! I'm in love like +a student, I've been on my knees.... [Rudely] I love you! What do I want +to fall in love with you for? To-morrow I've got to pay the interest, +and begin mowing, and here you.... [Puts his arms around her] I shall +never forgive myself for this.... + +POPOVA. Get away from me! Take your hands away! I hate you! Let's go and +fight! + +[A prolonged kiss. Enter LUKA with an axe, the GARDENER with a rake, the +COACHMAN with a pitchfork, and WORKMEN with poles.] + +LUKA. [Catches sight of the pair kissing] Little fathers! [Pause.] + +POPOVA. [Lowering her eyes] Luka, tell them in the stables that Toby +isn't to have any oats at all to-day. + +Curtain. + + + + + +A TRAGEDIAN IN SPITE OF HIMSELF + + +CHARACTERS + + IVAN IVANOVITCH TOLKACHOV, the father of a family + ALEXEY ALEXEYEVITCH MURASHKIN, his friend + +The scene is laid in St. Petersburg, in MURASHKIN'S flat + + +[MURASHKIN'S study. Comfortable furniture. MURASHKIN is seated at his +desk. Enter TOLKACHOV holding in his hands a glass globe for a lamp, +a toy bicycle, three hat-boxes, a large parcel containing a dress, a +bin-case of beer, and several little parcels. He looks round stupidly +and lets himself down on the sofa in exhaustion.] + +MURASHKIN. How do you do, Ivan Ivanovitch? Delighted to see you! What +brings you here? + +TOLKACHOV. [Breathing heavily] My dear good fellow... I want to ask +you something.... I implore you lend me a revolver till to-morrow. Be a +friend! + +MURASHKIN. What do you want a revolver for? + +TOLKACHOV. I must have it.... Oh, little fathers!... give me some +water... water quickly!... I must have it... I've got to go through a +dark wood to-night, so in case of accidents... do, please, lend it to +me. + +MURASHKIN. Oh, you liar, Ivan Ivanovitch! What the devil have you got to +do in a dark wood? I expect you are up to something. I can see by your +face that you are up to something. What's the matter with you? Are you +ill? + +TOLKACHOV. Wait a moment, let me breathe.... Oh little mothers! I am +dog-tired. I've got a feeling all over me, and in my head as well, as if +I've been roasted on a spit. I can't stand it any longer. Be a friend, +and don't ask me any questions or insist on details; just give me the +revolver! I beseech you! + +MURASHKIN. Well, really! Ivan Ivanovitch, what cowardice is this? The +father of a family and a Civil Servant holding a responsible post! For +shame! + +TOLKACHOV. What sort of a father of a family am I! I am a martyr. I am +a beast of burden, a nigger, a slave, a rascal who keeps on waiting here +for something to happen instead of starting off for the next world. I am +a rag, a fool, an idiot. Why am I alive? What's the use? [Jumps up] Well +now, tell me why am I alive? What's the purpose of this uninterrupted +series of mental and physical sufferings? I understand being a martyr +to an idea, yes! But to be a martyr to the devil knows what, skirts and +lamp-globes, no! I humbly decline! No, no, no! I've had enough! Enough! + +MURASHKIN. Don't shout, the neighbours will hear you! + +TOLKACHOV. Let your neighbours hear; it's all the same to me! If you +don't give me a revolver somebody else will, and there will be an end of +me anyway! I've made up my mind! + +MURASHKIN. Hold on, you've pulled off a button. Speak calmly. I still +don't understand what's wrong with your life. + +TOLKACHOV. What's wrong? You ask me what's wrong? Very well, I'll tell +you! Very well! I'll tell you everything, and then perhaps my soul will +be lighter. Let's sit down. Now listen... Oh, little mothers, I am out +of breath!... Just let's take to-day as an instance. Let's take to-day. +As you know, I've got to work at the Treasury from ten to four. It's +hot, it's stuffy, there are flies, and, my dear fellow, the very dickens +of a chaos. The Secretary is on leave, Khrapov has gone to get married, +and the smaller fry is mostly in the country, making love or occupied +with amateur theatricals. Everybody is so sleepy, tired, and done up +that you can't get any sense out of them. The Secretary's duties are in +the hands of an individual who is deaf in the left ear and in love; the +public has lost its memory; everybody is running about angry and raging, +and there is such a hullabaloo that you can't hear yourself speak. +Confusion and smoke everywhere. And my work is deathly: always the same, +always the same--first a correction, then a reference back, another +correction, another reference back; it's all as monotonous as the waves +of the sea. One's eyes, you understand, simply crawl out of one's head. +Give me some water.... You come out a broken, exhausted man. You would +like to dine and fall asleep, but you don't!--You remember that you live +in the country--that is, you are a slave, a rag, a bit of string, a bit +of limp flesh, and you've got to run round and do errands. Where we live +a pleasant custom has grown up: when a man goes to town every wretched +female inhabitant, not to mention one's own wife, has the power and the +right to give him a crowd of commissions. The wife orders you to run +into the modiste's and curse her for making a bodice too wide across the +chest and too narrow across the shoulders; little Sonya wants a new pair +of shoes; your sister-in-law wants some scarlet silk like the pattern +at twenty copecks and three arshins long.... Just wait; I'll read you. +[Takes a note out of his pocket and reads] A globe for the lamp; one +pound of pork sausages; five copecks' worth of cloves and cinnamon; +castor-oil for Misha; ten pounds of granulated sugar. To bring with you +from home: a copper jar for the sugar; carbolic acid; insect powder, ten +copecks' worth; twenty bottles of beer; vinegar; and corsets for Mlle. +Shanceau at No. 82.... Ouf! And to bring home Misha's winter coat and +goloshes. That is the order of my wife and family. Then there are +the commissions of our dear friends and neighbours--devil take them! +To-morrow is the name-day of Volodia Vlasin; I have to buy a bicycle +for him. The wife of Lieutenant-Colonel Virkhin is in an interesting +condition, and I am therefore bound to call in at the midwife's every +day and invite her to come. And so on, and so on. There are five notes +in my pocket and my handkerchief is all knots. And so, my dear fellow, +you spend the time between your office and your train, running about the +town like a dog with your tongue hanging out, running and running and +cursing life. From the clothier's to the chemist's, from the chemist's +to the modiste's, from the modiste's to the pork butcher's, and then +back again to the chemist's. In one place you stumble, in a second you +lose your money, in a third you forget to pay and they raise a hue and +cry after you, in a fourth you tread on the train of a lady's dress.... +Tfoo! You get so shaken up from all this that your bones ache all night +and you dream of crocodiles. Well, you've made all your purchases, but +how are you to pack all these things? For instance, how are you to put a +heavy copper jar together with the lamp-globe or the carbolic acid with +the tea? How are you to make a combination of beer-bottles and this +bicycle? It's the labours of Hercules, a puzzle, a rebus! Whatever +tricks you think of, in the long run you're bound to smash or scatter +something, and at the station and in the train you have to stand with +your arms apart, holding up some parcel or other under your chin, with +parcels, cardboard boxes, and such-like rubbish all over you. The train +starts, the passengers begin to throw your luggage about on all sides: +you've got your things on somebody else's seat. They yell, they call for +the conductor, they threaten to have you put out, but what can I do? I +just stand and blink my eyes like a whacked donkey. Now listen to this. +I get home. You think I'd like to have a nice little drink after my +righteous labours and a good square meal--isn't that so?--but there is +no chance of that. My spouse has been on the look-out for me for some +time. You've hardly started on your soup when she has her claws into +you, wretched slave that you are--and wouldn't you like to go to some +amateur theatricals or to a dance? You can't protest. You are a husband, +and the word husband when translated into the language of summer +residents in the country means a dumb beast which you can load to +any extent without fear of the interference of the Society for the +Prevention of Cruelty to Animals. So you go and blink at "A Family +Scandal" or something, you applaud when your wife tells you to, and you +feel worse and worse and worse until you expect an apoplectic fit to +happen any moment. If you go to a dance you have to find partners +for your wife, and if there is a shortage of them then you dance the +quadrilles yourself. You get back from the theatre or the dance after +midnight, when you are no longer a man but a useless, limp rag. Well, +at last you've got what you want; you unrobe and get into bed. It's +excellent--you can close your eyes and sleep.... Everything is so nice, +poetic, and warm, you understand; there are no children squealing +behind the wall, and you've got rid of your wife, and your conscience is +clear--what more can you want? You fall asleep--and suddenly... you +hear a buzz!... Gnats! [Jumps up] Gnats! Be they triply accursed Gnats! +[Shakes his fist] Gnats! It's one of the plagues of Egypt, one of the +tortures of the Inquisition! Buzz! It sounds so pitiful, so pathetic, as +if it's begging your pardon, but the villain stings so that you have +to scratch yourself for an hour after. You smoke, and go for them, and +cover yourself from head to foot, but it is no good! At last you have +to sacrifice yourself and let the cursed things devour you. You've no +sooner got used to the gnats when another plague begins: downstairs +your wife begins practising sentimental songs with her two friends. They +sleep by day and rehearse for amateur concerts by night. Oh, my God! +Those tenors are a torture with which no gnats on earth can compare. +[He sings] "Oh, tell me not my youth has ruined you." "Before thee do I +stand enchanted." Oh, the beastly things! They've about killed me! So +as to deafen myself a little I do this: I drum on my ears. This goes on +till four o'clock. Oh, give me some more water, brother!... I can't... +Well, not having slept, you get up at six o'clock in the morning and +off you go to the station. You run so as not to be late, and it's muddy, +foggy, cold--brr! Then you get to town and start all over again. So +there, brother. It's a horrible life; I wouldn't wish one like it for my +enemy. You understand--I'm ill! Got asthma, heartburn--I'm always afraid +of something. I've got indigestion, everything is thick before me... +I've become a regular psychopath.... [Looking round] Only, between +ourselves, I want to go down to see Chechotte or Merzheyevsky. There's +some devil in me, brother. In moments of despair and suffering, when the +gnats are stinging or the tenors sing, everything suddenly grows dim; +you jump up and race round the whole house like a lunatic and shout, "I +want blood! Blood!" And really all the time you do want to let a knife +into somebody or hit him over the head with a chair. That's what life +in a summer villa leads to! And nobody has any sympathy for me, and +everybody seems to think it's all as it should be. People even laugh. +But understand, I am a living being and I want to live! This isn't +farce, it's tragedy! I say, if you don't give me your revolver, you +might at any rate sympathize. + +MURASHKIN. I do sympathize. + +TOLKACHOV. I see how much you sympathize.... Good-bye. I've got to buy +some anchovies and some sausage... and some tooth-powder, and then to +the station. + +MURASHKIN. Where are you living? + +TOLKACHOV. At Carrion River. + +MURASHKIN. [Delighted] Really? Then you'll know Olga Pavlovna Finberg, +who lives there? + +TOLKACHOV. I know her. We are even acquainted. + +MURASHKIN. How perfectly splendid! That's so convenient, and it would be +so good of you... + +TOLKACHOV. What's that? + +MURASHKIN. My dear fellow, wouldn't you do one little thing for me? Be a +friend! Promise me now. + +TOLKACHOV. What's that? + +MURASHKIN. It would be such a friendly action! I implore you, my dear +man. In the first place, give Olga Pavlovna my very kind regards. In the +second place, there's a little thing I'd like you to take down to her. +She asked me to get a sewing-machine but I haven't anybody to send it +down to her by.... You take it, my dear! And you might at the same time +take down this canary in its cage... only be careful, or you'll break +the door.... What are you looking at me like that for? + +TOLKACHOV. A sewing-machine... a canary in a cage... siskins, +chaffinches... + +MURASHKIN. Ivan Ivanovitch, what's the matter with you? Why are you +turning purple? + +TOLKACHOV. [Stamping] Give me the sewing-machine! Where's the bird-cage? +Now get on top yourself! Eat me! Tear me to pieces! Kill me! [Clenching +his fists] I want blood! Blood! Blood! + +MURASHKIN. You've gone mad! + +TOLKACHOV. [Treading on his feet] I want blood! Blood! + +MURASHKIN. [In horror] He's gone mad! [Shouts] Peter! Maria! Where are +you? Help! + +TOLKACHOV. [Chasing him round the room] I want blood! Blood! + +Curtain. + + + + + +THE ANNIVERSARY + + +CHARACTERS + + ANDREY ANDREYEVITCH SHIPUCHIN, Chairman of the N---- Joint Stock + Bank, a middle-aged man, with a monocle + TATIANA ALEXEYEVNA, his wife, aged 25 + KUSMA NICOLAIEVITCH KHIRIN, the bank's aged book-keeper + NASTASYA FYODOROVNA MERCHUTKINA, an old woman wearing an old-fashioned + cloak + DIRECTORS OF THE BANK + EMPLOYEES OF THE BANK + +The action takes place at the Bank + + +[The private office of the Chairman of Directors. On the left is a door, +leading into the public department. There are two desks. The furniture +aims at a deliberately luxurious effect, with armchairs covered in +velvet, flowers, statues, carpets, and a telephone. It is midday. KHIRIN +is alone; he wears long felt boots, and is shouting through the door.] + +KHIRIN. Send out to the chemist for 15 copecks' worth of valerian drops, +and tell them to bring some drinking water into the Directors' office! +This is the hundredth time I've asked! [Goes to a desk] I'm absolutely +tired out. This is the fourth day I've been working, without a chance of +shutting my eyes. From morning to evening I work here, from evening to +morning at home. [Coughs] And I've got an inflammation all over me. +I'm hot and cold, and I cough, and my legs ache, and there's something +dancing before my eyes. [Sits] Our scoundrel of a Chairman, the brute, +is going to read a report at a general meeting. "Our Bank, its Present +and Future." You'd think he was a Gambetta.... [At work] Two... one... +one... six... nought... seven.... Next, six... nought... one... six.... +He just wants to throw dust into people's eyes, and so I sit here and +work for him like a galley-slave! This report of his is poetic fiction +and nothing more, and here I've got to sit day after day and add +figures, devil take his soul! [Rattles on his counting-frame] I can't +stand it! [Writing] That is, one... three... seven... two... one... +nought.... He promised to reward me for my work. If everything goes well +to-day and the public is properly put into blinkers, he's promised me a +gold charm and 300 roubles bonus.... We'll see. [Works] Yes, but if +my work all goes for nothing, then you'd better look out.... I'm very +excitable.... If I lose my temper I'm capable of committing some crime, +so look out! Yes! + +[Noise and applause behind the scenes. SHIPUCHIN'S voice: "Thank +you! Thank you! I am extremely grateful." Enter SHIPUCHIN. He wears +a frockcoat and white tie; he carries an album which has been just +presented to him.] + +SHIPUCHIN. [At the door, addresses the outer office] This present, my +dear colleagues, will be preserved to the day of my death, as a memory +of the happiest days of my life! Yes, gentlemen! Once more, I thank you! +[Throws a kiss into the air and turns to KHIRIN] My dear, my respected +Kusma Nicolaievitch! + +[All the time that SHIPUCHIN is on the stage, clerks intermittently come +in with papers for his signature and go out.] + +KHIRIN. [Standing up] I have the honour to congratulate you, Andrey +Andreyevitch, on the fiftieth anniversary of our Bank, and hope that... + +SHIPUCHIN. [Warmly shakes hands] Thank you, my dear sir! Thank you! +I think that in view of the unique character of the day, as it is an +anniversary, we may kiss each other!... [They kiss] I am very, very +glad! Thank you for your service... for everything! If, in the course of +the time during which I have had the honour to be Chairman of this Bank +anything useful has been done, the credit is due, more than to anybody +else, to my colleagues. [Sighs] Yes, fifteen years! Fifteen years as my +name's Shipuchin! [Changes his tone] Where's my report? Is it getting +on? + +KHIRIN. Yes; there's only five pages left. + +SHIPUCHIN. Excellent. Then it will be ready by three? + +KHIRIN. If nothing occurs to disturb me, I'll get it done. Nothing of +any importance is now left. + +SHIPUCHIN. Splendid. Splendid, as my name's Shipuchin! The general +meeting will be at four. If you please, my dear fellow. Give me the +first half, I'll peruse it.... Quick.... [Takes the report] I base +enormous hopes on this report. It's my _profession de foi_, or, better +still, my firework. [Note: The actual word employed.] My firework, as my +name's Shipuchin! [Sits and reads the report to himself] I'm hellishly +tired.... My gout kept on giving me trouble last night, all the morning +I was running about, and then these excitements, ovations, agitations... +I'm tired! + +KHIRIN. Two... nought... nought... three... nine... two... nought. I +can't see straight after all these figures.... Three... one... six... +four... one... five.... [Uses the counting-frame.] + +SHIPUCHIN. Another unpleasantness.... This morning your wife came to +see me and complained about you once again. Said that last night you +threatened her and her sister with a knife. Kusma Nicolaievitch, what do +you mean by that? Oh, oh! + +KHIRIN. [Rudely] As it's an anniversary, Andrey Andreyevitch, I'll ask +for a special favour. Please, even if it's only out of respect for my +toil, don't interfere in my family life. Please! + +SHIPUCHIN. [Sighs] Yours is an impossible character, Kusma +Nicolaievitch! You're an excellent and respected man, but you behave to +women like some scoundrel. Yes, really. I don't understand why you hate +them so? + +KHIRIN. I wish I could understand why you love them so! [Pause.] + +SHIPUCHIN. The employees have just presented me with an album; and the +Directors, as I've heard, are going to give me an address and a silver +loving-cup.... [Playing with his monocle] Very nice, as my name's +Shipuchin! It isn't excessive. A certain pomp is essential to the +reputation of the Bank, devil take it! You know everything, of +course.... I composed the address myself, and I bought the cup myself, +too.... Well, then there was 45 roubles for the cover of the address, +but you can't do without that. They'd never have thought of it for +themselves. [Looks round] Look at the furniture! Just look at it! They +say I'm stingy, that all I want is that the locks on the doors should +be polished, that the employees should wear fashionable ties, and that +a fat hall-porter should stand by the door. No, no, sirs. Polished locks +and a fat porter mean a good deal. I can behave as I like at home, eat +and sleep like a pig, get drunk.... + +KHIRIN. Please don't make hints. + +SHIPUCHIN. Nobody's making hints! What an impossible character +yours is.... As I was saying, at home I can live like a tradesman, a +_parvenu_, and be up to any games I like, but here everything must be +_en grand_. This is a Bank! Here every detail must _imponiren_, so to +speak, and have a majestic appearance. [He picks up a paper from the +floor and throws it into the fireplace] My service to the Bank has been +just this--I've raised its reputation. A thing of immense importance is +tone! Immense, as my name's Shipuchin! [Looks over KHIRIN] My dear man, +a deputation of shareholders may come here any moment, and there you are +in felt boots, wearing a scarf... in some absurdly coloured jacket.... +You might have put on a frock-coat, or at any rate a dark jacket.... + +KHIRIN. My health matters more to me than your shareholders. I've an +inflammation all over me. + +SHIPUCHIN. [Excitedly] But you will admit that it's untidy! You spoil +the _ensemble_! + +KHIRIN. If the deputation comes I can go and hide myself. It won't +matter if... seven... one... seven... two... one... five... nought. +I don't like untidiness myself.... Seven... two... nine... [Uses the +counting-frame] I can't stand untidiness! It would have been wiser of +you not to have invited ladies to to-day's anniversary dinner.... + +SHIPUCHIN. Oh, that's nothing. + +KHIRIN. I know that you're going to have the hall filled with them +to-night to make a good show, but you look out, or they'll spoil +everything. They cause all sorts of mischief and disorder. + +SHIPUCHIN. On the contrary, feminine society elevates! + +KHIRIN. Yes.... Your wife seems intelligent, but on the Monday of last +week she let something off that upset me for two days. In front of a +lot of people she suddenly asks: "Is it true that at our Bank my husband +bought up a lot of the shares of the Driazhsky-Priazhsky Bank, which +have been falling on exchange? My husband is so annoyed about it!" This +in front of people. Why do you tell them everything, I don't understand. +Do you want them to get you into serious trouble? + +SHIPUCHIN. Well, that's enough, enough! All that's too dull for an +anniversary. Which reminds me, by the way. [Looks at the time] My wife +ought to be here soon. I really ought to have gone to the station, to +meet the poor little thing, but there's no time.... and I'm tired. I +must say I'm not glad of her! That is to say, I am glad, but I'd be +gladder if she only stayed another couple of days with her mother. +She'll want me to spend the whole evening with her to-night, whereas +we have arranged a little excursion for ourselves.... [Shivers] Oh, my +nerves have already started dancing me about. They are so strained that +I think the very smallest trifle would be enough to make me break into +tears! No, I must be strong, as my name's Shipuchin! + +[Enter TATIANA ALEXEYEVNA SHIPUCHIN in a waterproof, with a little +travelling satchel slung across her shoulder.] + +SHIPUCHIN. Ah! In the nick of time! + +TATIANA ALEXEYEVNA. Darling! + +[Runs to her husband: a prolonged kiss.] + +SHIPUCHIN. We were only speaking of you just now! [Looks at his watch.] + +TATIANA ALEXEYEVNA. [Panting] Were you very dull without me? Are you +well? I haven't been home yet, I came here straight from the station. +I've a lot, a lot to tell you.... I couldn't wait.... I shan't take off +my clothes, I'll only stay a minute. [To KHIRIN] Good morning, Kusma +Nicolaievitch! [To her husband] Is everything all right at home? + +SHIPUCHIN. Yes, quite. And, you know, you've got to look plumper and +better this week.... Well, what sort of a time did you have? + +TATIANA ALEXEYEVNA. Splendid. Mamma and Katya send their regards. +Vassili Andreitch sends you a kiss. [Kisses him] Aunt sends you a jar +of jam, and is annoyed because you don't write. Zina sends you a kiss. +[Kisses.] Oh, if you knew what's happened. If you only knew! I'm even +frightened to tell you! Oh, if you only knew! But I see by your eyes +that you're sorry I came! + +SHIPUCHIN. On the contrary.... Darling.... [Kisses her.] + +[KHIRIN coughs angrily.] + +TATIANA ALEXEYEVNA. Oh, poor Katya, poor Katya! I'm so sorry for her, so +sorry for her. + +SHIPUCHIN. This is the Bank's anniversary to-day, darling, we may get a +deputation of the shareholders at any moment, and you're not dressed. + +TATIANA ALEXEYEVNA. Oh, yes, the anniversary! I congratulate you, +gentlemen. I wish you.... So it means that to-day's the day of the +meeting, the dinner.... That's good. And do you remember that beautiful +address which you spent such a long time composing for the shareholders? +Will it be read to-day? + +[KHIRIN coughs angrily.] + +SHIPUCHIN. [Confused] My dear, we don't talk about these things. You'd +really better go home. + +TATIANA ALEXEYEVNA. In a minute, in a minute. I'll tell you everything +in one minute and go. I'll tell you from the very beginning. Well.... +When you were seeing me off, you remember I was sitting next to that +stout lady, and I began to read. I don't like to talk in the train. I +read for three stations and didn't say a word to anyone.... Well, then +the evening set in, and I felt so mournful, you know, with such sad +thoughts! A young man was sitting opposite me--not a bad-looking fellow, +a brunette.... Well, we fell into conversation.... A sailor came along +then, then some student or other.... [Laughs] I told them that I wasn't +married... and they did look after me! We chattered till midnight, the +brunette kept on telling the most awfully funny stories, and the sailor +kept on singing. My chest began to ache from laughing. And when the +sailor--oh, those sailors!--when he got to know my name was TATIANA, you +know what he sang? [Sings in a bass voice] "Onegin don't let me conceal +it, I love Tatiana madly!" [Note: From the Opera _Evgeni Onegin_--words +by Pushkin.] [Roars with laughter.] + +[KHIRIN coughs angrily.] + +SHIPUCHIN. Tania, dear, you're disturbing Kusma Nicolaievitch. Go home, +dear.... Later on.... + +TATIANA ALEXEYEVNA. No, no, let him hear if he wants to, it's awfully +interesting. I'll end in a minute. Serezha came to meet me at the +station. Some young man or other turns up, an inspector of taxes, I +think... quite handsome, especially his eyes.... Serezha introduced me, +and the three of us rode off together.... It was lovely weather.... + +[Voices behind the stage: "You can't, you can't! What do you want?" +Enter MERCHUTKINA, waving her arms about.] + +MERCHUTKINA. What are you dragging at me for. What else! I want him +himself! [To SHIPUCHIN] I have the honour, your excellency... I am the +wife of a civil servant, Nastasya Fyodorovna Merchutkina. + +SHIPUCHIN. What do you want? + +MERCHUTKINA. Well, you see, your excellency, my husband has been ill for +five months, and while he was at home, getting better, he was suddenly +dismissed for no reason, your excellency, and when I went to get his +salary, they, you see, deducted 24 roubles 36 copecks from it. What for? +I ask. They said, "Well, he drew it from the employees' account, and the +others had to make it up." How can that be? How could he draw anything +without my permission? No, your excellency! I'm a poor woman... my +lodgers are all I have to live on.... I'm weak and defenceless.... +Everybody does me some harm, and nobody has a kind word for me. + +SHIPUCHIN. Excuse me. [Takes a petition from her and reads it standing.] + +TATIANA ALEXEYEVNA. [To KHIRIN] Yes, but first we.... Last week I +suddenly received a letter from my mother. She writes that a certain +Grendilevsky has proposed to my sister Katya. A nice, modest, young +man, but with no means of his own, and no assured position. And, +unfortunately, just think of it, Katya is absolutely gone on him. +What's to be done? Mamma writes telling me to come at once and influence +Katya.... + +KHIRIN. [Angrily] Excuse me, you've made me lose my place! You go +talking about your mamma and Katya, and I understand nothing; and I've +lost my place. + +TATIANA ALEXEYEVNA. What does that matter? You listen when a lady is +talking to you! Why are you so angry to-day? Are you in love? [Laughs.] + +SHIPUCHIN. [To MERCHUTKINA] Excuse me, but what is this? I can't make +head or tail of it. + +TATIANA ALEXEYEVNA. Are you in love? Aha! You're blushing! + +SHIPUCHIN. [To his wife] Tanya, dear, do go out into the public office +for a moment. I shan't be long. + +TATIANA ALEXEYEVNA. All right. [Goes out.] + +SHIPUCHIN. I don't understand anything of this. You've obviously come +to the wrong place, madam. Your petition doesn't concern us at all. You +should go to the department in which your husband was employed. + +MERCHUTKINA. I've been there a good many times these five months, and +they wouldn't even look at my petition. I'd given up all hopes, but, +thanks to my son-in-law, Boris Matveyitch, I thought of coming to +you. "You go, mother," he says, "and apply to Mr. Shipuchin, he's an +influential man and can do anything." Help me, your excellency! + +SHIPUCHIN. We can't do anything for you, Mrs. Merchutkina. You must +understand that your husband, so far as I can gather, was in the employ +of the Army Medical Department, while this is a private, commercial +concern, a bank. Don't you understand that? + +MERCHUTKINA. Your excellency, I can produce a doctor's certificate of my +husband's illness. Here it is, just look at it.... + +SHIPUCHIN. [Irritated] That's all right; I quite believe you, but it's +not our business. [Behind the scene, TATIANA ALEXEYEVNA'S laughter is +heard, then a man's. SHIPUCHIN glances at the door] She's disturbing +the employees. [To MERCHUTKINA] It's strange and it's even silly. Surely +your husband knows where you ought to apply? + +MERCHUTKINA. Your excellency, I don't let him know anything. He just +cried out: "It isn't your business! Get out of this!" And... + +SHIPUCHIN. Madam, I repeat, your husband was in the employ of the Army +Medical Department, and this is a bank, a private, commercial concern. + +MERCHUTKINA. Yes, yes, yes.... I understand, my dear. In that case, your +excellency, just order them to pay me 15 roubles! I don't mind taking +that to be going on with. + +SHIPUCHIN. [Sighs] Ouf! + +KHIRIN. Andrey Andreyevitch, I'll never finish the report at this rate! + +SHIPUCHIN. One moment. [To MERCHUTKINA] I can't get any sense out of +you. But do understand that your taking this business here is as absurd +as if you took a divorce petition to a chemist's or into a gold assay +office. [Knock at the door. The voice of TATIANA ALEXEYEVNA is heard, +"Can I come in, Andrey?" SHIPUCHIN shouts] Just wait one minute, dear! +[To MERCHUTKINA] What has it got to do with us if you haven't been paid? +As it happens, madam, this is an anniversary to-day, we're busy... and +somebody may be coming here at any moment.... Excuse me.... + +MERCHUTKINA. Your excellency, have pity on me, an orphan! I'm a weak, +defenceless woman.... I'm tired to death.... I'm having trouble with my +lodgers, and on account of my husband, and I've got the house to look +after, and my son-in-law is out of work.... + +SHIPUCHIN. Mrs. Merchutkina, I... No, excuse me, I can't talk to you! My +head's even in a whirl.... You are disturbing us and making us waste +our time. [Sighs, aside] What a business, as my name's Shipuchin! +[To KHIRIN] Kusma Nicolaievitch, will you please explain to Mrs. +Merchutkina. [Waves his hand and goes out into public department.] + +KHIRIN. [Approaching MERCHUTKINA, angrily] What do you want? + +MERCHUTKINA. I'm a weak, defenceless woman.... I may look all right, but +if you were to take me to pieces you wouldn't find a single healthy bit +in me! I can hardly stand on my legs, and I've lost my appetite. I drank +my coffee to-day and got no pleasure out of it. + +KHIRIN. I ask you, what do you want? + +MERCHUTKINA. Tell them, my dear, to give me 15 roubles, and a month +later will do for the rest. + +KHIRIN. But haven't you been told perfectly plainly that this is a bank! + +MERCHUTKINA. Yes, yes.... And if you like I can show you the doctor's +certificate. + +KHIRIN. Have you got a head on your shoulders, or what? + +MERCHUTKINA. My dear, I'm asking for what's mine by law. I don't want +what isn't mine. + +KHIRIN. I ask you, madam, have you got a head on your shoulders, or +what? Well, devil take me, I haven't any time to talk to you! I'm +busy.... [Points to the door] That way, please! + +MERCHUTKINA. [Surprised] And where's the money? + +KHIRIN. You haven't a head, but this [Taps the table and then points to +his forehead.] + +MERCHUTKINA. [Offended] What? Well, never mind, never mind.... You can +do that to your own wife, but I'm the wife of a civil servant.... You +can't do that to me! + +KHIRIN. [Losing his temper] Get out of this! + +MERCHUTKINA. No, no, no... none of that! + +KHIRIN. If you don't get out this second, I'll call for the hall-porter! +Get out! [Stamping.] + +MERCHUTKINA. Never mind, never mind! I'm not afraid! I've seen the like +of you before! Miser! + +KHIRIN. I don't think I've ever seen a more awful woman in my life.... +Ouf! It's given me a headache.... [Breathing heavily] I tell you once +more... do you hear me? If you don't get out of this, you old devil, +I'll grind you into powder! I've got such a character that I'm perfectly +capable of laming you for life! I can commit a crime! + +MERCHUTKINA. I've heard barking dogs before. I'm not afraid. I've seen +the like of you before. + +KHIRIN. [In despair] I can't stand it! I'm ill! I can't! [Sits down at +his desk] They've let the Bank get filled with women, and I can't finish +my report! I can't. + +MERCHUTKINA. I don't want anybody else's money, but my own, according to +law. You ought to be ashamed of yourself! Sitting in a government office +in felt boots.... + +[Enter SHIPUCHIN and TATIANA ALEXEYEVNA.] + +TATIANA ALEXEYEVNA. [Following her husband] We spent the evening at the +Berezhnitskys. Katya was wearing a sky-blue frock of foulard silk, cut +low at the neck.... She looks very well with her hair done over her +head, and I did her hair myself.... She was perfectly fascinating.... + +SHIPUCHIN. [Who has had enough of it already] Yes, yes... +fascinating.... They may be here any moment.... + +MERCHUTKINA. Your excellency! + +SHIPUCHIN. [Dully] What else? What do you want? + +MERCHUTKINA. Your excellency! [Points to KHIRIN] This man... this man +tapped the table with his finger, and then his head.... You told him to +look after my affair, but he insults me and says all sorts of things. +I'm a weak, defenceless woman.... + +SHIPUCHIN. All right, madam, I'll see to it... and take the necessary +steps.... Go away now... later on! [Aside] My gout's coming on! + +KHIRIN. [In a low tone to SHIPUCHIN] Andrey Andreyevitch, send for the +hall-porter and have her turned out neck and crop! What else can we do? + +SHIPUCHIN. [Frightened] No, no! She'll kick up a row and we aren't the +only people in the building. + +MERCHUTKINA. Your excellency. + +KHIRIN. [In a tearful voice] But I've got to finish my report! I won't +have time! I won't! + +MERCHUTKINA. Your excellency, when shall I have the money? I want it +now. + +SHIPUCHIN. [Aside, in dismay] A re-mark-ab-ly beastly woman! [Politely] +Madam, I've already told you, this is a bank, a private, commercial +concern. + +MERCHUTKINA. Be a father to me, your excellency.... If the doctor's +certificate isn't enough, I can get you another from the police. Tell +them to give me the money! + +SHIPUCHIN. [Panting] Ouf! + +TATIANA ALEXEYEVNA. [To MERCHUTKINA] Mother, haven't you already been +told that you're disturbing them? What right have you? + +MERCHUTKINA. Mother, beautiful one, nobody will help me. All I do is to +eat and drink, and just now I didn't enjoy my coffee at all. + +SHIPUCHIN. [Exhausted] How much do you want? + +MERCHUTKINA. 24 roubles 36 copecks. + +SHIPUCHIN. All right! [Takes a 25-rouble note out of his pocket-book and +gives it to her] Here are 25 roubles. Take it and... go! + +[KHIRIN coughs angrily.] + +MERCHUTKINA. I thank you very humbly, your excellency. [Hides the +money.] + +TATIANA ALEXEYEVNA. [Sits by her husband] It's time I went home.... +[Looks at watch] But I haven't done yet.... I'll finish in one minute +and go away.... What a time we had! Yes, what a time! We went to spend +the evening at the Berezhnitskys.... It was all right, quite fun, but +nothing in particular.... Katya's devoted Grendilevsky was there, of +course.... Well, I talked to Katya, cried, and induced her to talk to +Grendilevsky and refuse him. Well, I thought, everything's, settled +the best possible way; I've quieted mamma down, saved Katya, and can +be quiet myself.... What do you think? Katya and I were going along the +avenue, just before supper, and suddenly... [Excitedly] And suddenly +we heard a shot.... No, I can't talk about it calmly! [Waves her +handkerchief] No, I can't! + +SHIPUCHIN. [Sighs] Ouf! + +TATIANA ALEXEYEVNA. [Weeps] We ran to the summer-house, and there... +there poor Grendilevsky was lying... with a pistol in his hand.... + +SHIPUCHIN. No, I can't stand this! I can't stand it! [To MERCHUTKINA] +What else do you want? + +MERCHUTKINA. Your excellency, can't my husband go back to his job? + +TATIANA ALEXEYEVNA. [Weeping] He'd shot himself right in the heart... +here.... And the poor man had fallen down senseless.... And he was +awfully frightened, as he lay there... and asked for a doctor. A doctor +came soon... and saved the unhappy man.... + +MERCHUTKINA. Your excellency, can't my husband go back to his job? + +SHIPUCHIN. No, I can't stand this! [Weeps] I can't stand it! [Stretches +out both his hands in despair to KHIRIN] Drive her away! Drive her away, +I implore you! + +KHIRIN. [Goes up to TATIANA ALEXEYEVNA] Get out of this! + +SHIPUCHIN. Not her, but this one... this awful woman.... [Points] That +one! + +KHIRIN. [Not understanding, to TATIANA ALEXEYEVNA] Get out of this! +[Stamps] Get out! + +TATIANA ALEXEYEVNA. What? What are you doing? Have you taken leave of +your senses? + +SHIPUCHIN. It's awful? I'm a miserable man! Drive her out! Out with her! + +KHIRIN. [To TATIANA ALEXEYEVNA] Out of it! I'll cripple you! I'll knock +you out of shape! I'll break the law! + +TATIANA ALEXEYEVNA. [Running from him; he chases her] How dare you! You +impudent fellow! [Shouts] Andrey! Help! Andrey! [Screams.] + +SHIPUCHIN. [Chasing them] Stop! I implore you! Not such a noise? Have +pity on me! + +KHIRIN. [Chasing MERCHUTKINA] Out of this! Catch her! Hit her! Cut her +into pieces! + +SHIPUCHIN. [Shouts] Stop! I ask you! I implore you! + +MERCHUTKINA. Little fathers... little fathers! [Screams] Little +fathers!... + +TATIANA ALEXEYEVNA. [Shouts] Help! Help!... Oh, oh... I'm sick, I'm +sick! [Jumps on to a chair, then falls on to the sofa and groans as if +in a faint.] + +KHIRIN. [Chasing MERCHUTKINA] Hit her! Beat her! Cut her to pieces! + +MERCHUTKINA. Oh, oh... little fathers, it's all dark before me! Ah! +[Falls senseless into SHIPUCHIN'S arms. There is a knock at the door; +a VOICE announces THE DEPUTATION] The deputation... reputation... +occupation... + +KHIRIN. [Stamps] Get out of it, devil take me! [Turns up his sleeves] +Give her to me: I may break the law! + +[A deputation of five men enters; they all wear frockcoats. One carries +the velvet-covered address, another, the loving-cup. Employees look in +at the door, from the public department. TATIANA ALEXEYEVNA on the sofa, +and MERCHUTKINA in SHIPUCHIN'S arms are both groaning.] + +ONE OF THE DEPUTATION. [Reads aloud] "Deeply respected and dear Andrey +Andreyevitch! Throwing a retrospective glance at the past history of +our financial administration, and reviewing in our minds its gradual +development, we receive an extremely satisfactory impression. It is true +that in the first period of its existence, the inconsiderable amount of +its capital, and the absence of serious operations of any description, +and also the indefinite aims of this bank, made us attach an extreme +importance to the question raised by Hamlet, 'To be or not to be,' +and at one time there were even voices to be heard demanding our +liquidation. But at that moment you become the head of our concern. +Your knowledge, energies, and your native tact were the causes of +extraordinary success and widespread extension. The reputation of the +bank... [Coughs] reputation of the bank..." + +MERCHUTKINA. [Groans] Oh! Oh! + +TATIANA ALEXEYEVNA. [Groans] Water! Water! + +THE MEMBER OF THE DEPUTATION. [Continues] The reputation [Coughs]... the +reputation of the bank has been raised by you to such a height that we +are now the rivals of the best foreign concerns. + +SHIPUCHIN. Deputation... reputation... occupation.... Two friends that +had a walk at night, held converse by the pale moonlight.... Oh tell me +not, that youth is vain, that jealousy has turned my brain. + +THE MEMBER OF THE DEPUTATION. [Continues in confusion] "Then, throwing +an objective glance at the present condition of things, we, deeply +respected and dear Andrey Andreyevitch... [Lowering his voice] In that +case, we'll do it later on.... Yes, later on...." [DEPUTATION goes out +in confusion.] + +Curtain. + + + + + +THE THREE SISTERS + +A DRAMA IN FOUR ACTS + + +CHARACTERS + + ANDREY SERGEYEVITCH PROSOROV + NATALIA IVANOVA (NATASHA), his fiance, later his wife (28) + His sisters: + OLGA + MASHA + IRINA + FEODOR ILITCH KULIGIN, high school teacher, married to MASHA (20) + ALEXANDER IGNATEYEVITCH VERSHININ, lieutenant-colonel in charge of + a battery (42) + NICOLAI LVOVITCH TUZENBACH, baron, lieutenant in the army (30) + VASSILI VASSILEVITCH SOLENI, captain + IVAN ROMANOVITCH CHEBUTIKIN, army doctor (60) + ALEXEY PETROVITCH FEDOTIK, sub-lieutenant + VLADIMIR CARLOVITCH RODE, sub-lieutenant + FERAPONT, door-keeper at local council offices, an old man + ANFISA, nurse (80) + + +The action takes place in a provincial town. + +[Ages are stated in brackets.] + + + + +ACT I + +[In PROSOROV'S house. A sitting-room with pillars; behind is seen a +large dining-room. It is midday, the sun is shining brightly outside. In +the dining-room the table is being laid for lunch.] + +[OLGA, in the regulation blue dress of a teacher at a girl's high +school, is walking about correcting exercise books; MASHA, in a black +dress, with a hat on her knees, sits and reads a book; IRINA, in white, +stands about, with a thoughtful expression.] + +OLGA. It's just a year since father died last May the fifth, on your +name-day, Irina. It was very cold then, and snowing. I thought I would +never survive it, and you were in a dead faint. And now a year has +gone by and we are already thinking about it without pain, and you are +wearing a white dress and your face is happy. [Clock strikes twelve] And +the clock struck just the same way then. [Pause] I remember that there +was music at the funeral, and they fired a volley in the cemetery. He +was a general in command of a brigade but there were few people present. +Of course, it was raining then, raining hard, and snowing. + +IRINA. Why think about it! + +[BARON TUZENBACH, CHEBUTIKIN and SOLENI appear by the table in the +dining-room, behind the pillars.] + +OLGA. It's so warm to-day that we can keep the windows open, though the +birches are not yet in flower. Father was put in command of a brigade, +and he rode out of Moscow with us eleven years ago. I remember perfectly +that it was early in May and that everything in Moscow was flowering +then. It was warm too, everything was bathed in sunshine. Eleven years +have gone, and I remember everything as if we rode out only yesterday. +Oh, God! When I awoke this morning and saw all the light and the spring, +joy entered my heart, and I longed passionately to go home. + +CHEBUTIKIN. Will you take a bet on it? + +TUZENBACH. Oh, nonsense. + +[MASHA, lost in a reverie over her book, whistles softly.] + +OLGA. Don't whistle, Masha. How can you! [Pause] I'm always having +headaches from having to go to the High School every day and then teach +till evening. Strange thoughts come to me, as if I were already an old +woman. And really, during these four years that I have been working +here, I have been feeling as if every day my strength and youth have +been squeezed out of me, drop by drop. And only one desire grows and +gains in strength... + +IRINA. To go away to Moscow. To sell the house, drop everything here, +and go to Moscow... + +OLGA. Yes! To Moscow, and as soon as possible. + +[CHEBUTIKIN and TUZENBACH laugh.] + +IRINA. I expect Andrey will become a professor, but still, he won't want +to live here. Only poor Masha must go on living here. + +OLGA. Masha can come to Moscow every year, for the whole summer. + +[MASHA is whistling gently.] + +IRINA. Everything will be arranged, please God. [Looks out of the +window] It's nice out to-day. I don't know why I'm so happy: I +remembered this morning that it was my name-day, and I suddenly felt +glad and remembered my childhood, when mother was still with us. What +beautiful thoughts I had, what thoughts! + +OLGA. You're all radiance to-day, I've never seen you look so lovely. +And Masha is pretty, too. Andrey wouldn't be bad-looking, if he wasn't +so stout; it does spoil his appearance. But I've grown old and very +thin, I suppose it's because I get angry with the girls at school. +To-day I'm free. I'm at home. I haven't got a headache, and I feel +younger than I was yesterday. I'm only twenty-eight.... All's well, God +is everywhere, but it seems to me that if only I were married and could +stay at home all day, it would be even better. [Pause] I should love my +husband. + +TUZENBACH. [To SOLENI] I'm tired of listening to the rot you talk. +[Entering the sitting-room] I forgot to say that Vershinin, our new +lieutenant-colonel of artillery, is coming to see us to-day. [Sits down +to the piano.] + +OLGA. That's good. I'm glad. + +IRINA. Is he old? + +TUZENBACH. Oh, no. Forty or forty-five, at the very outside. [Plays +softly] He seems rather a good sort. He's certainly no fool, only he +likes to hear himself speak. + +IRINA. Is he interesting? + +TUZENBACH. Oh, he's all right, but there's his wife, his mother-in-law, +and two daughters. This is his second wife. He pays calls and tells +everybody that he's got a wife and two daughters. He'll tell you so +here. The wife isn't all there, she does her hair like a flapper and +gushes extremely. She talks philosophy and tries to commit suicide every +now and again, apparently in order to annoy her husband. I should have +left her long ago, but he bears up patiently, and just grumbles. + +SOLENI. [Enters with CHEBUTIKIN from the dining-room] With one hand I +can only lift fifty-four pounds, but with both hands I can lift 180, +or even 200 pounds. From this I conclude that two men are not twice as +strong as one, but three times, perhaps even more.... + +CHEBUTIKIN. [Reads a newspaper as he walks] If your hair is coming +out... take an ounce of naphthaline and hail a bottle of spirit... +dissolve and use daily.... [Makes a note in his pocket diary] When +found make a note of! Not that I want it though.... [Crosses it out] It +doesn't matter. + +IRINA. Ivan Romanovitch, dear Ivan Romanovitch! + +CHEBUTIKIN. What does my own little girl want? + +IRINA. Ivan Romanovitch, dear Ivan Romanovitch! I feel as if I were +sailing under the broad blue sky with great white birds around me. Why +is that? Why? + +CHEBUTIKIN. [Kisses her hands, tenderly] My white bird.... + +IRINA. When I woke up to-day and got up and dressed myself, I suddenly +began to feel as if everything in this life was open to me, and that I +knew how I must live. Dear Ivan Romanovitch, I know everything. A man +must work, toil in the sweat of his brow, whoever he may be, for that is +the meaning and object of his life, his happiness, his enthusiasm. How +fine it is to be a workman who gets up at daybreak and breaks stones in +the street, or a shepherd, or a schoolmaster, who teaches children, or +an engine-driver on the railway.... My God, let alone a man, it's better +to be an ox, or just a horse, so long as it can work, than a young woman +who wakes up at twelve o'clock, has her coffee in bed, and then spends +two hours dressing.... Oh it's awful! Sometimes when it's hot, your +thirst can be just as tiresome as my need for work. And if I don't get +up early in future and work, Ivan Romanovitch, then you may refuse me +your friendship. + +CHEBUTIKIN. [Tenderly] I'll refuse, I'll refuse.... + +OLGA. Father used to make us get up at seven. Now Irina wakes at seven +and lies and meditates about something till nine at least. And she looks +so serious! [Laughs.] + +IRINA. You're so used to seeing me as a little girl that it seems queer +to you when my face is serious. I'm twenty! + +TUZENBACH. How well I can understand that craving for work, oh God! I've +never worked once in my life. I was born in Petersburg, a chilly, lazy +place, in a family which never knew what work or worry meant. I remember +that when I used to come home from my regiment, a footman used to +have to pull off my boots while I fidgeted and my mother looked on in +adoration and wondered why other people didn't see me in the same light. +They shielded me from work; but only just in time! A new age is dawning, +the people are marching on us all, a powerful, health-giving storm is +gathering, it is drawing near, soon it will be upon us and it will drive +away laziness, indifference, the prejudice against labour, and rotten +dullness from our society. I shall work, and in twenty-five or thirty +years, every man will have to work. Every one! + +CHEBUTIKIN. I shan't work. + +TUZENBACH. You don't matter. + +SOLENI. In twenty-five years' time, we shall all be dead, thank the +Lord. In two or three years' time apoplexy will carry you off, or else +I'll blow your brains out, my pet. [Takes a scent-bottle out of his +pocket and sprinkles his chest and hands.] + +CHEBUTIKIN. [Laughs] It's quite true, I never have worked. After I came +down from the university I never stirred a finger or opened a book, I +just read the papers.... [Takes another newspaper out of his pocket] +Here we are.... I've learnt from the papers that there used to be one, +Dobrolubov [Note: Dobroluboy (1836-81), in spite of the shortness of his +career, established himself as one of the classic literary critics +of Russia], for instance, but what he wrote--I don't know... God only +knows.... [Somebody is heard tapping on the floor from below] There.... +They're calling me downstairs, somebody's come to see me. I'll be back +in a minute... won't be long.... [Exit hurriedly, scratching his beard.] + +IRINA. He's up to something. + +TUZENBACH. Yes, he looked so pleased as he went out that I'm pretty +certain he'll bring you a present in a moment. + +IRINA. How unpleasant! + +OLGA. Yes, it's awful. He's always doing silly things. + +MASHA. + + "There stands a green oak by the sea. + And a chain of bright gold is around it... + And a chain of bright gold is around it...." + +[Gets up and sings softly.] + +OLGA. You're not very bright to-day, Masha. [MASHA sings, putting on her +hat] Where are you off to? + +MASHA. Home. + +IRINA. That's odd.... + +TUZENBACH. On a name-day, too! + +MASHA. It doesn't matter. I'll come in the evening. Good-bye, dear. +[Kisses MASHA] Many happy returns, though I've said it before. In the +old days when father was alive, every time we had a name-day, thirty or +forty officers used to come, and there was lots of noise and fun, and +to-day there's only a man and a half, and it's as quiet as a desert... +I'm off... I've got the hump to-day, and am not at all cheerful, so +don't you mind me. [Laughs through her tears] We'll have a talk later +on, but good-bye for the present, my dear; I'll go somewhere. + +IRINA. [Displeased] You are queer.... + +OLGA. [Crying] I understand you, Masha. + +SOLENI. When a man talks philosophy, well, it is philosophy or at any +rate sophistry; but when a woman, or two women, talk philosophy--it's +all my eye. + +MASHA. What do you mean by that, you very awful man? + +SOLENI. Oh, nothing. You came down on me before I could say... help! +[Pause.] + +MASHA. [Angrily, to OLGA] Don't cry! + +[Enter ANFISA and FERAPONT with a cake.] + +ANFISA. This way, my dear. Come in, your feet are clean. [To IRINA] From +the District Council, from Mihail Ivanitch Protopopov... a cake. + +IRINA. Thank you. Please thank him. [Takes the cake.] + +FERAPONT. What? + +IRINA. [Louder] Please thank him. + +OLGA. Give him a pie, nurse. Ferapont, go, she'll give you a pie. + +FERAPONT. What? + +ANFISA. Come on, gran'fer, Ferapont Spiridonitch. Come on. [Exeunt.] + +MASHA. I don't like this Mihail Potapitch or Ivanitch, Protopopov. We +oughtn't to invite him here. + +IRINA. I never asked him. + +MASHA. That's all right. + +[Enter CHEBUTIKIN followed by a soldier with a silver samovar; there is +a rumble of dissatisfied surprise.] + +OLGA. [Covers her face with her hands] A samovar! That's awful! [Exit +into the dining-room, to the table.] + +IRINA. My dear Ivan Romanovitch, what are you doing! + +TUZENBACH. [Laughs] I told you so! + +MASHA. Ivan Romanovitch, you are simply shameless! + +CHEBUTIKIN. My dear good girl, you are the only thing, and the dearest +thing I have in the world. I'll soon be sixty. I'm an old man, a lonely +worthless old man. The only good thing in me is my love for you, and if +it hadn't been for that, I would have been dead long ago.... [To IRINA] +My dear little girl, I've known you since the day of your birth, I've +carried you in my arms... I loved your dead mother.... + +MASHA. But your presents are so expensive! + +CHEBUTIKIN. [Angrily, through his tears] Expensive presents.... You +really, are!... [To the orderly] Take the samovar in there.... [Teasing] +Expensive presents! + +[The orderly goes into the dining-room with the samovar.] + +ANFISA. [Enters and crosses stage] My dear, there's a strange Colonel +come! He's taken off his coat already. Children, he's coming here. Irina +darling, you'll be a nice and polite little girl, won't you.... Should +have lunched a long time ago.... Oh, Lord.... [Exit.] + +TUZENBACH. It must be Vershinin. [Enter VERSHININ] Lieutenant-Colonel +Vershinin! + +VERSHININ. [To MASHA and IRINA] I have the honour to introduce myself, +my name is Vershinin. I am very glad indeed to be able to come at last. +How you've grown! Oh! oh! + +IRINA. Please sit down. We're very glad you've come. + +VERSHININ. [Gaily] I am glad, very glad! But there are three sisters, +surely. I remember--three little girls. I forget your faces, but your +father, Colonel Prosorov, used to have three little girls, I remember +that perfectly, I saw them with my own eyes. How time does fly! Oh, +dear, how it flies! + +TUZENBACH. Alexander Ignateyevitch comes from Moscow. + +IRINA. From Moscow? Are you from Moscow? + +VERSHININ. Yes, that's so. Your father used to be in charge of a battery +there, and I was an officer in the same brigade. [To MASHA] I seem to +remember your face a little. + +MASHA. I don't remember you. + +IRINA. Olga! Olga! [Shouts into the dining-room] Olga! Come along! [OLGA +enters from the dining-room] Lieutenant Colonel Vershinin comes from +Moscow, as it happens. + +VERSHININ. I take it that you are Olga Sergeyevna, the eldest, and that +you are Maria... and you are Irina, the youngest.... + +OLGA. So you come from Moscow? + +VERSHININ. Yes. I went to school in Moscow and began my service there; I +was there for a long time until at last I got my battery and moved over +here, as you see. I don't really remember you, I only remember that +there used to be three sisters. I remember your father well; I have only +to shut my eyes to see him as he was. I used to come to your house in +Moscow.... + +OLGA. I used to think I remembered everybody, but... + +VERSHININ. My name is Alexander Ignateyevitch. + +IRINA. Alexander Ignateyevitch, you've come from Moscow. That is really +quite a surprise! + +OLGA. We are going to live there, you see. + +IRINA. We think we may be there this autumn. It's our native town, we +were born there. In Old Basmanni Road.... [They both laugh for joy.] + +MASHA. We've unexpectedly met a fellow countryman. [Briskly] I remember: +Do you remember, Olga, they used to speak at home of a "lovelorn Major." +You were only a Lieutenant then, and in love with somebody, but for some +reason they always called you a Major for fun. + +VERSHININ. [Laughs] That's it... the lovelorn Major, that's got it! + +MASHA. You only wore moustaches then. You have grown older! [Through her +tears] You have grown older! + +VERSHININ. Yes, when they used to call me the lovelorn Major, I was +young and in love. I've grown out of both now. + +OLGA. But you haven't a single white hair yet. You're older, but you're +not yet old. + +VERSHININ. I'm forty-two, anyway. Have you been away from Moscow long? + +IRINA. Eleven years. What are you crying for, Masha, you little fool.... +[Crying] And I'm crying too. + +MASHA. It's all right. And where did you live? + +VERSHININ. Old Basmanni Road. + +OLGA. Same as we. + +VERSHININ. Once I used to live in German Street. That was when the Red +Barracks were my headquarters. There's an ugly bridge in between, where +the water rushes underneath. One gets melancholy when one is alone +there. [Pause] Here the river is so wide and fine! It's a splendid +river! + +OLGA. Yes, but it's so cold. It's very cold here, and the midges.... + +VERSHININ. What are you saying! Here you've got such a fine healthy +Russian climate. You've a forest, a river... and birches. Dear, modest +birches, I like them more than any other tree. It's good to live here. +Only it's odd that the railway station should be thirteen miles away.... +Nobody knows why. + +SOLENI. I know why. [All look at him] Because if it was near it wouldn't +be far off, and if it's far off, it can't be near. [An awkward pause.] + +TUZENBACH. Funny man. + +OLGA. Now I know who you are. I remember. + +VERSHININ. I used to know your mother. + +CHEBUTIKIN. She was a good woman, rest her soul. + +IRINA. Mother is buried in Moscow. + +OLGA. At the Novo-Devichi Cemetery. + +MASHA. Do you know, I'm beginning to forget her face. We'll be forgotten +in just the same way. + +VERSHININ. Yes, they'll forget us. It's our fate, it can't be helped. A +time will come when everything that seems serious, significant, or very +important to us will be forgotten, or considered trivial. [Pause] And +the curious thing is that we can't possibly find out what will come to +be regarded as great and important, and what will be feeble, or silly. +Didn't the discoveries of Copernicus, or Columbus, say, seem unnecessary +and ludicrous at first, while wasn't it thought that some rubbish +written by a fool, held all the truth? And it may so happen that our +present existence, with which we are so satisfied, will in time appear +strange, inconvenient, stupid, unclean, perhaps even sinful.... + +TUZENBACH. Who knows? But on the other hand, they may call our life +noble and honour its memory. We've abolished torture and capital +punishment, we live in security, but how much suffering there is still! + +SOLENI. [In a feeble voice] There, there.... The Baron will go without +his dinner if you only let him talk philosophy. + +TUZENBACH. Vassili Vassilevitch, kindly leave me alone. [Changes his +chair] You're very dull, you know. + +SOLENI. [Feebly] There, there, there. + +TUZENBACH. [To VERSHININ] The sufferings we see to-day--there are so +many of them!--still indicate a certain moral improvement in society. + +VERSHININ. Yes, yes, of course. + +CHEBUTIKIN. You said just now, Baron, that they may call our life noble; +but we are very petty.... [Stands up] See how little I am. [Violin +played behind.] + +MASHA. That's Andrey playing--our brother. + +IRINA. He's the learned member of the family. I expect he will be a +professor some day. Father was a soldier, but his son chose an academic +career for himself. + +MASHA. That was father's wish. + +OLGA. We ragged him to-day. We think he's a little in love. + +IRINA. To a local lady. She will probably come here to-day. + +MASHA. You should see the way she dresses! Quite prettily, quite +fashionably too, but so badly! Some queer bright yellow skirt with a +wretched little fringe and a red bodice. And such a complexion! Andrey +isn't in love. After all he has taste, he's simply making fun of us. I +heard yesterday that she was going to marry Protopopov, the chairman +of the Local Council. That would do her nicely.... [At the side door] +Andrey, come here! Just for a minute, dear! [Enter ANDREY.] + +OLGA. My brother, Andrey Sergeyevitch. + +VERSHININ. My name is Vershinin. + +ANDREY. Mine is Prosorov. [Wipes his perspiring hands] You've come to +take charge of the battery? + +OLGA. Just think, Alexander Ignateyevitch comes from Moscow. + +ANDREY. That's all right. Now my little sisters won't give you any rest. + +VERSHININ. I've already managed to bore your sisters. + +IRINA. Just look what a nice little photograph frame Andrey gave me +to-day. [Shows it] He made it himself. + +VERSHININ. [Looks at the frame and does not know what to say] Yes.... +It's a thing that... + +IRINA. And he made that frame there, on the piano as well. [Andrey waves +his hand and walks away.] + +OLGA. He's got a degree, and plays the violin, and cuts all sorts of +things out of wood, and is really a domestic Admirable Crichton. Don't +go away, Andrey! He's got into a habit of always going away. Come here! + +[MASHA and IRINA take his arms and laughingly lead him back.] + +MASHA. Come on, come on! + +ANDREY. Please leave me alone. + +MASHA. You are funny. Alexander Ignateyevitch used to be called the +lovelorn Major, but he never minded. + +VERSHININ. Not the least. + +MASHA. I'd like to call you the lovelorn fiddler! + +IRINA. Or the lovelorn professor! + +OLGA. He's in love! little Andrey is in love! + +IRINA. [Applauds] Bravo, Bravo! Encore! Little Andrey is in love. + +CHEBUTIKIN. [Goes up behind ANDREY and takes him round the waist with +both arms] Nature only brought us into the world that we should love! +[Roars with laughter, then sits down and reads a newspaper which he +takes out of his pocket.] + +ANDREY. That's enough, quite enough.... [Wipes his face] I couldn't +sleep all night and now I can't quite find my feet, so to speak. I read +until four o'clock, then tried to sleep, but nothing happened. I thought +about one thing and another, and then it dawned and the sun crawled into +my bedroom. This summer, while I'm here, I want to translate a book from +the English.... + +VERSHININ. Do you read English? + +ANDREY. Yes father, rest his soul, educated us almost violently. It may +seem funny and silly, but it's nevertheless true, that after his death +I began to fill out and get rounder, as if my body had had some great +pressure taken off it. Thanks to father, my sisters and I know French, +German, and English, and Irina knows Italian as well. But we paid dearly +for it all! + +MASHA. A knowledge of three languages is an unnecessary luxury in this +town. It isn't even a luxury but a sort of useless extra, like a sixth +finger. We know a lot too much. + +VERSHININ. Well, I say! [Laughs] You know a lot too much! I don't think +there can really be a town so dull and stupid as to have no place for +a clever, cultured person. Let us suppose even that among the hundred +thousand inhabitants of this backward and uneducated town, there are +only three persons like yourself. It stands to reason that you won't be +able to conquer that dark mob around you; little by little as you grow +older you will be bound to give way and lose yourselves in this crowd of +a hundred thousand human beings; their life will suck you up in itself, +but still, you won't disappear having influenced nobody; later on, +others like you will come, perhaps six of them, then twelve, and so on, +until at last your sort will be in the majority. In two or three hundred +years' time life on this earth will be unimaginably beautiful and +wonderful. Mankind needs such a life, and if it is not ours to-day then +we must look ahead for it, wait, think, prepare for it. We must see and +know more than our fathers and grandfathers saw and knew. [Laughs] And +you complain that you know too much. + +MASHA. [Takes off her hat] I'll stay to lunch. + +IRINA. [Sighs] Yes, all that ought to be written down. + +[ANDREY has gone out quietly.] + +TUZENBACH. You say that many years later on, life on this earth will +be beautiful and wonderful. That's true. But to share in it now, even +though at a distance, we must prepare by work.... + +VERSHININ. [Gets up] Yes. What a lot of flowers you have. [Looks round] +It's a beautiful flat. I envy you! I've spent my whole life in rooms +with two chairs, one sofa, and fires which always smoke. I've never had +flowers like these in my life.... [Rubs his hands] Well, well! + +TUZENBACH. Yes, we must work. You are probably thinking to yourself: +the German lets himself go. But I assure you I'm a Russian, I can't even +speak German. My father belonged to the Orthodox Church.... [Pause.] + +VERSHININ. [Walks about the stage] I often wonder: suppose we could +begin life over again, knowing what we were doing? Suppose we could use +one life, already ended, as a sort of rough draft for another? I think +that every one of us would try, more than anything else, not to repeat +himself, at the very least he would rearrange his manner of life, he +would make sure of rooms like these, with flowers and light... I have +a wife and two daughters, my wife's health is delicate and so on and so +on, and if I had to begin life all over again I would not marry.... No, +no! + +[Enter KULIGIN in a regulation jacket.] + +KULIGIN. [Going up to IRINA] Dear sister, allow me to congratulate you +on the day sacred to your good angel and to wish you, sincerely and from +the bottom of my heart, good health and all that one can wish for a girl +of your years. And then let me offer you this book as a present. [Gives +it to her] It is the history of our High School during the last fifty +years, written by myself. The book is worthless, and written because I +had nothing to do, but read it all the same. Good day, gentlemen! [To +VERSHININ] My name is Kuligin, I am a master of the local High School. +[Note: He adds that he is a _Nadvorny Sovetnik_ (almost the same as +a German _Hofrat_), an undistinguished civilian title with no English +equivalent.] [To IRINA] In this book you will find a list of all those +who have taken the full course at our High School during these fifty +years. _Feci quod potui, faciant meliora potentes_. [Kisses MASHA.] + +IRINA. But you gave me one of these at Easter. + +KULIGIN. [Laughs] I couldn't have, surely! You'd better give it back +to me in that case, or else give it to the Colonel. Take it, Colonel. +You'll read it some day when you're bored. + +VERSHININ. Thank you. [Prepares to go] I am extremely happy to have made +the acquaintance of... + +OLGA. Must you go? No, not yet? + +IRINA. You'll stop and have lunch with us. Please do. + +OLGA. Yes, please! + +VERSHININ. [Bows] I seem to have dropped in on your name-day. Forgive +me, I didn't know, and I didn't offer you my congratulations. [Goes with +OLGA into the dining-room.] + +KULIGIN. To-day is Sunday, the day of rest, so let us rest and rejoice, +each in a manner compatible with his age and disposition. The carpets +will have to be taken up for the summer and put away till the winter... +Persian powder or naphthaline.... The Romans were healthy because they +knew both how to work and how to rest, they had _mens sana in corpore +sano_. Their life ran along certain recognized patterns. Our director +says: "The chief thing about each life is its pattern. Whoever loses +his pattern is lost himself"--and it's just the same in our daily life. +[Takes MASHA by the waist, laughing] Masha loves me. My wife loves me. +And you ought to put the window curtains away with the carpets.... I'm +feeling awfully pleased with life to-day. Masha, we've got to be at the +director's at four. They're getting up a walk for the pedagogues and +their families. + +MASHA. I shan't go. + +KULIGIN. [Hurt] My dear Masha, why not? + +MASHA. I'll tell you later.... [Angrily] All right, I'll go, only please +stand back.... [Steps away.] + +KULIGIN. And then we're to spend the evening at the director's. In spite +of his ill-health that man tries, above everything else, to be sociable. +A splendid, illuminating personality. A wonderful man. After yesterday's +committee he said to me: "I'm tired, Feodor Ilitch, I'm tired!" [Looks +at the clock, then at his watch] Your clock is seven minutes fast. +"Yes," he said, "I'm tired." [Violin played off.] + +OLGA. Let's go and have lunch! There's to be a masterpiece of baking! + +KULIGIN. Oh my dear Olga, my dear. Yesterday I was working till eleven +o'clock at night, and got awfully tired. To-day I'm quite happy. [Goes +into dining-room] My dear... + +CHEBUTIKIN. [Puts his paper into his pocket, and combs his beard] A pie? +Splendid! + +MASHA. [Severely to CHEBUTIKIN] Only mind; you're not to drink anything +to-day. Do you hear? It's bad for you. + +CHEBUTIKIN. Oh, that's all right. I haven't been drunk for two years. +And it's all the same, anyway! + +MASHA. You're not to dare to drink, all the same. [Angrily, but so that +her husband should not hear] Another dull evening at the Director's, +confound it! + +TUZENBACH. I shouldn't go if I were you.... It's quite simple. + +CHEBUTIKIN. Don't go. + +MASHA. Yes, "don't go...." It's a cursed, unbearable life.... [Goes into +dining-room.] + +CHEBUTIKIN. [Follows her] It's not so bad. + +SOLENI. [Going into the dining-room] There, there, there.... + +TUZENBACH. Vassili Vassilevitch, that's enough. Be quiet! + +SOLENI. There, there, there.... + +KULIGIN. [Gaily] Your health, Colonel! I'm a pedagogue and not quite at +home here. I'm Masha's husband.... She's a good sort, a very good sort. + +VERSHININ. I'll have some of this black vodka.... [Drinks] Your health! +[To OLGA] I'm very comfortable here! + +[Only IRINA and TUZENBACH are now left in the sitting-room.] + +IRINA. Masha's out of sorts to-day. She married when she was eighteen, +when he seemed to her the wisest of men. And now it's different. He's +the kindest man, but not the wisest. + +OLGA. [Impatiently] Andrey, when are you coming? + +ANDREY. [Off] One minute. [Enters and goes to the table.] + +TUZENBACH. What are you thinking about? + +IRINA. I don't like this Soleni of yours and I'm afraid of him. He only +says silly things. + +TUZENBACH. He's a queer man. I'm sorry for him, though he vexes me. I +think he's shy. When there are just the two of us he's quite all right +and very good company; when other people are about he's rough and +hectoring. Don't let's go in, let them have their meal without us. Let +me stay with you. What are you thinking of? [Pause] You're twenty. I'm +not yet thirty. How many years are there left to us, with their long, +long lines of days, filled with my love for you.... + +IRINA. Nicolai Lvovitch, don't speak to me of love. + +TUZENBACH. [Does not hear] I've a great thirst for life, struggle, and +work, and this thirst has united with my love for you, Irina, and you're +so beautiful, and life seems so beautiful to me! What are you thinking +about? + +IRINA. You say that life is beautiful. Yes, if only it seems so! The +life of us three hasn't been beautiful yet; it has been stifling us as +if it was weeds... I'm crying. I oughtn't.... [Dries her tears, smiles] +We must work, work. That is why we are unhappy and look at the world so +sadly; we don't know what work is. Our parents despised work.... + +[Enter NATALIA IVANOVA; she wears a pink dress and a green sash.] + +NATASHA. They're already at lunch... I'm late... [Carefully examines +herself in a mirror, and puts herself straight] I think my hair's done +all right.... [Sees IRINA] Dear Irina Sergeyevna, I congratulate you! +[Kisses her firmly and at length] You've so many visitors, I'm really +ashamed.... How do you do, Baron! + +OLGA. [Enters from dining-room] Here's Natalia Ivanovna. How are you, +dear! [They kiss.] + +NATASHA. Happy returns. I'm awfully shy, you've so many people here. + +OLGA. All our friends. [Frightened, in an undertone] You're wearing a +green sash! My dear, you shouldn't! + +NATASHA. Is it a sign of anything? + +OLGA. No, it simply doesn't go well... and it looks so queer. + +NATASHA. [In a tearful voice] Yes? But it isn't really green, it's too +dull for that. [Goes into dining-room with OLGA.] + +[They have all sat down to lunch in the dining-room, the sitting-room is +empty.] + +KULIGIN. I wish you a nice fiance, Irina. It's quite time you married. + +CHEBUTIKIN. Natalia Ivanovna, I wish you the same. + +KULIGIN. Natalia Ivanovna has a fianc already. + +MASHA. [Raps with her fork on a plate] Let's all get drunk and make life +purple for once! + +KULIGIN. You've lost three good conduct marks. + +VERSHININ. This is a nice drink. What's it made of? + +SOLENI. Blackbeetles. + +IRINA. [Tearfully] Phoo! How disgusting! + +OLGA. There is to be a roast turkey and a sweet apple pie for dinner. +Thank goodness I can spend all day and the evening at home. You'll come +in the evening, ladies and gentlemen.... + +VERSHININ. And please may I come in the evening! + +IRINA. Please do. + +NATASHA. They don't stand on ceremony here. + +CHEBUTIKIN. Nature only brought us into the world that we should love! +[Laughs.] + +ANDREY. [Angrily] Please don't! Aren't you tired of it? + +[Enter FEDOTIK and RODE with a large basket of flowers.] + +FEDOTIK. They're lunching already. + +RODE. [Loudly and thickly] Lunching? Yes, so they are.... + +FEDOTIK. Wait a minute! [Takes a photograph] That's one. No, just a +moment.... [Takes another] That's two. Now we're ready! + +[They take the basket and go into the dining-room, where they have a +noisy reception.] + +RODE. [Loudly] Congratulations and best wishes! Lovely weather to-day, +simply perfect. Was out walking with the High School students all the +morning. I take their drills. + +FEDOTIK. You may move, Irina Sergeyevna! [Takes a photograph] You +look well to-day. [Takes a humming-top out of his pocket] Here's a +humming-top, by the way. It's got a lovely note! + +IRINA. How awfully nice! + +MASHA. + + "There stands a green oak by the sea, + And a chain of bright gold is around it... + And a chain of bright gold is around it..." + +[Tearfully] What am I saying that for? I've had those words running in +my head all day.... + +KULIGIN. There are thirteen at table! + +RODE. [Aloud] Surely you don't believe in that superstition? [Laughter.] + +KULIGIN. If there are thirteen at table then it means there are lovers +present. It isn't you, Ivan Romanovitch, hang it all.... [Laughter.] + +CHEBUTIKIN. I'm a hardened sinner, but I really don't see why Natalia +Ivanovna should blush.... + +[Loud laughter; NATASHA runs out into the sitting-room, followed by +ANDREY.] + +ANDREY. Don't pay any attention to them! Wait... do stop, please.... + +NATASHA. I'm shy... I don't know what's the matter with me and they're +all laughing at me. It wasn't nice of me to leave the table like that, +but I can't... I can't. [Covers her face with her hands.] + +ANDREY. My dear, I beg you. I implore you not to excite yourself. I +assure you they're only joking, they're kind people. My dear, good girl, +they're all kind and sincere people, and they like both you and me. Come +here to the window, they can't see us here.... [Looks round.] + +NATASHA. I'm so unaccustomed to meeting people! + +ANDREY. Oh your youth, your splendid, beautiful youth! My darling, don't +be so excited! Believe me, believe me... I'm so happy, my soul is full +of love, of ecstasy.... They don't see us! They can't! Why, why or when +did I fall in love with you--Oh, I can't understand anything. My dear, +my pure darling, be my wife! I love you, love you... as never before.... +[They kiss.] + +[Two officers come in and, seeing the lovers kiss, stop in +astonishment.] + +Curtain. + + + + +ACT II + +[Scene as before. It is 8 p.m. Somebody is heard playing a concertina +outside in' the street. There is no fire. NATALIA IVANOVNA enters in +indoor dress carrying a candle; she stops by the door which leads into +ANDREY'S room.] + +NATASHA. What are you doing, Andrey? Are you reading? It's nothing, only +I.... [She opens another door, and looks in, then closes it] Isn't there +any fire.... + +ANDREY. [Enters with book in hand] What are you doing, Natasha? + +NATASHA. I was looking to see if there wasn't a fire. It's Shrovetide, +and the servant is simply beside herself; I must look out that something +doesn't happen. When I came through the dining-room yesterday midnight, +there was a candle burning. I couldn't get her to tell me who had +lighted it. [Puts down her candle] What's the time? + +ANDREY. [Looks at his watch] A quarter past eight. + +NATASHA. And Olga and Irina aren't in yet. The poor things are still at +work. Olga at the teacher's council, Irina at the telegraph office.... +[Sighs] I said to your sister this morning, "Irina, darling, you must +take care of yourself." But she pays no attention. Did you say it was a +quarter past eight? I am afraid little Bobby is quite ill. Why is he so +cold? He was feverish yesterday, but to-day he is quite cold... I am so +frightened! + +ANDREY. It's all right, Natasha. The boy is well. + +NATASHA. Still, I think we ought to put him on a diet. I am so afraid. +And the entertainers were to be here after nine; they had better not +come, Audrey. + +ANDREY. I don't know. After all, they were asked. + +NATASHA. This morning, when the little boy woke up and saw me he +suddenly smiled; that means he knew me. "Good morning, Bobby!" I said, +"good morning, darling." And he laughed. Children understand, they +understand very well. So I'll tell them, Andrey dear, not to receive the +entertainers. + +ANDREY. [Hesitatingly] But what about my sisters. This is their flat. + +NATASHA. They'll do as I want them. They are so kind.... [Going] I +ordered sour milk for supper. The doctor says you must eat sour milk +and nothing else, or you won't get thin. [Stops] Bobby is so cold. I'm +afraid his room is too cold for him. It would be nice to put him into +another room till the warm weather comes. Irina's room, for instance, +is just right for a child: it's dry and has the sun all day. I must tell +her, she can share Olga's room. It isn't as if she was at home in the +daytime, she only sleeps here.... [A pause] Andrey, darling, why are you +so silent? + +ANDREY. I was just thinking.... There is really nothing to say.... + +NATASHA. Yes... there was something I wanted to tell you.... Oh, yes. +Ferapont has come from the Council offices, he wants to see you. + +ANDREY. [Yawns] Call him here. + +[NATASHA goes out; ANDREY reads his book, stooping over the candle she +has left behind. FERAPONT enters; he wears a tattered old coat with the +collar up. His ears are muffled.] + +ANDREY. Good morning, grandfather. What have you to say? + +FERAPONT. The Chairman sends a book and some documents or other. +Here.... [Hands him a book and a packet.] + +ANDREY. Thank you. It's all right. Why couldn't you come earlier? It's +past eight now. + +FERAPONT. What? + +ANDREY. [Louder]. I say you've come late, it's past eight. + +FERAPONT. Yes, yes. I came when it was still light, but they wouldn't +let me in. They said you were busy. Well, what was I to do. If you're +busy, you're busy, and I'm in no hurry. [He thinks that ANDREY is asking +him something] What? + +ANDREY. Nothing. [Looks through the book] To-morrow's Friday. I'm not +supposed to go to work, but I'll come--all the same... and do some +work. It's dull at home. [Pause] Oh, my dear old man, how strangely life +changes, and how it deceives! To-day, out of sheer boredom, I took up +this book--old university lectures, and I couldn't help laughing. My +God, I'm secretary of the local district council, the council which has +Protopopov for its chairman, yes, I'm the secretary, and the summit of +my ambitions is--to become a member of the council! I to be a member +of the local district council, I, who dream every night that I'm a +professor of Moscow University, a famous scholar of whom all Russia is +proud! + +FERAPONT. I can't tell... I'm hard of hearing.... + +ANDREY. If you weren't, I don't suppose I should talk to you. I've got +to talk to somebody, and my wife doesn't understand me, and I'm a bit +afraid of my sisters--I don't know why unless it is that they may +make fun of me and make me feel ashamed... I don't drink, I don't like +public-houses, but how I should like to be sitting just now in Tyestov's +place in Moscow, or at the Great Moscow, old fellow! + +FERAPONT. Moscow? That's where a contractor was once telling that some +merchants or other were eating pancakes; one ate forty pancakes and he +went and died, he was saying. Either forty or fifty, I forget which. + +ANDREY. In Moscow you can sit in an enormous restaurant where you don't +know anybody and where nobody knows you, and you don't feel all the same +that you're a stranger. And here you know everybody and everybody knows +you, and you're a stranger... and a lonely stranger. + +FERAPONT. What? And the same contractor was telling--perhaps he was +lying--that there was a cable stretching right across Moscow. + +ANDREY. What for? + +FERAPONT. I can't tell. The contractor said so. + +ANDREY. Rubbish. [He reads] Were you ever in Moscow? + +FERAPONT. [After a pause] No. God did not lead me there. [Pause] Shall I +go? + +ANDREY. You may go. Good-bye. [FERAPONT goes] Good-bye. [Reads] You can +come to-morrow and fetch these documents.... Go along.... [Pause] He's +gone. [A ring] Yes, yes.... [Stretches himself and slowly goes into his +own room.] + +[Behind the scene the nurse is singing a lullaby to the child. MASHA and +VERSHININ come in. While they talk, a maidservant lights candles and a +lamp.] + +MASHA. I don't know. [Pause] I don't know. Of course, habit counts for +a great deal. After father's death, for instance, it took us a long time +to get used to the absence of orderlies. But, apart from habit, it seems +to me in all fairness that, however it may be in other towns, the best +and most-educated people are army men. + +VERSHININ. I'm thirsty. I should like some tea. + +MASHA. [Glancing at her watch] They'll bring some soon. I was given in +marriage when I was eighteen, and I was afraid of my husband because +he was a teacher and I'd only just left school. He then seemed to me +frightfully wise and learned and important. And now, unfortunately, that +has changed. + +VERSHININ. Yes... yes. + +MASHA. I don't speak of my husband, I've grown used to him, but +civilians in general are so often coarse, impolite, uneducated. Their +rudeness offends me, it angers me. I suffer when I see that a man isn't +quite sufficiently refined, or delicate, or polite. I simply suffer +agonies when I happen to be among schoolmasters, my husband's +colleagues. + +VERSHININ. Yes.... It seems to me that civilians and army men are +equally interesting, in this town, at any rate. It's all the same! If +you listen to a member of the local intelligentsia, whether to civilian +or military, he will tell you that he's sick of his wife, sick of +his house, sick of his estate, sick of his horses.... We Russians are +extremely gifted in the direction of thinking on an exalted plane, but, +tell me, why do we aim so low in real life? Why? + +MASHA. Why? + +VERSHININ. Why is a Russian sick of his children, sick of his wife? And +why are his wife and children sick of him? + +MASHA. You're a little downhearted to-day. + +VERSHININ. Perhaps I am. I haven't had any dinner, I've had nothing +since the morning. My daughter is a little unwell, and when my girls are +ill, I get very anxious and my conscience tortures me because they +have such a mother. Oh, if you had seen her to-day! What a trivial +personality! We began quarrelling at seven in the morning and at nine +I slammed the door and went out. [Pause] I never speak of her, it's +strange that I bear my complaints to you alone. [Kisses her hand] Don't +be angry with me. I haven't anybody but you, nobody at all.... [Pause.] + +MASHA. What a noise in the oven. Just before father's death there was a +noise in the pipe, just like that. + +VERSHININ. Are you superstitious? + +MASHA. Yes. + +VERSHININ. That's strange. [Kisses her hand] You are a splendid, +wonderful woman. Splendid, wonderful! It is dark here, but I see your +sparkling eyes. + +MASHA. [Sits on another chair] There is more light here. + +VERSHININ. I love you, love you, love you... I love your eyes, your +movements, I dream of them.... Splendid, wonderful woman! + +MASHA. [Laughing] When you talk to me like that, I laugh; I don't know +why, for I'm afraid. Don't repeat it, please.... [In an undertone] No, +go on, it's all the same to me.... [Covers her face with her hands] +Somebody's coming, let's talk about something else. + +[IRINA and TUZENBACH come in through the dining-room.] + +TUZENBACH. My surname is really triple. I am called Baron +Tuzenbach-Krone-Altschauer, but I am Russian and Orthodox, the same as +you. There is very little German left in me, unless perhaps it is the +patience and the obstinacy with which I bore you. I see you home every +night. + +IRINA. How tired I am! + +TUZENBACH. And I'll come to the telegraph office to see you home every +day for ten or twenty years, until you drive me away. [He sees MASHA and +VERSHININ; joyfully] Is that you? How do you do. + +IRINA. Well, I am home at last. [To MASHA] A lady came to-day to +telegraph to her brother in Saratov that her son died to-day, and she +couldn't remember the address anyhow. So she sent the telegram without +an address, just to Saratov. She was crying. And for some reason or +other I was rude to her. "I've no time," I said. It was so stupid. Are +the entertainers coming to-night? + +MASHA. Yes. + +IRINA. [Sitting down in an armchair] I want a rest. I am tired. + +TUZENBACH. [Smiling] When you come home from your work you seem so +young, and so unfortunate.... [Pause.] + +IRINA. I am tired. No, I don't like the telegraph office, I don't like +it. + +MASHA. You've grown thinner.... [Whistles a little] And you look +younger, and your face has become like a boy's. + +TUZENBACH. That's the way she does her hair. + +IRINA. I must find another job, this one won't do for me. What I wanted, +what I hoped to get, just that is lacking here. Labour without poetry, +without ideas.... [A knock on the floor] The doctor is knocking. [To +TUZENBACH] Will you knock, dear. I can't... I'm tired.... [TUZENBACH +knocks] He'll come in a minute. Something ought to be done. Yesterday +the doctor and Andrey played cards at the club and lost money. Andrey +seems to have lost 200 roubles. + +MASHA. [With indifference] What can we do now? + +IRINA. He lost money a fortnight ago, he lost money in December. Perhaps +if he lost everything we should go away from this town. Oh, my God, I +dream of Moscow every night. I'm just like a lunatic. [Laughs] We go +there in June, and before June there's still... February, March, April, +May... nearly half a year! + +MASHA. Only Natasha mustn't get to know of these losses. + +IRINA. I expect it will be all the same to her. + +[CHEBUTIKIN, who has only just got out of bed--he was resting after +dinner--comes into the dining-room and combs his beard. He then sits by +the table and takes a newspaper from his pocket.] + +MASHA. Here he is.... Has he paid his rent? + +IRINA. [Laughs] No. He's been here eight months and hasn't paid a +copeck. Seems to have forgotten. + +MASHA. [Laughs] What dignity in his pose! [They all laugh. A pause.] + +IRINA. Why are you so silent, Alexander Ignateyevitch? + +VERSHININ. I don't know. I want some tea. Half my life for a tumbler of +tea: I haven't had anything since morning. + +CHEBUTIKIN. Irina Sergeyevna! + +IRINA. What is it? + +CHEBUTIKIN. Please come here, Venez ici. [IRINA goes and sits by the +table] I can't do without you. [IRINA begins to play patience.] + +VERSHININ. Well, if we can't have any tea, let's philosophize, at any +rate. + +TUZENBACH. Yes, let's. About what? + +VERSHININ. About what? Let us meditate... about life as it will be after +our time; for example, in two or three hundred years. + +TUZENBACH. Well? After our time people will fly about in balloons, the +cut of one's coat will change, perhaps they'll discover a sixth sense +and develop it, but life will remain the same, laborious, mysterious, +and happy. And in a thousand years' time, people will still be sighing: +"Life is hard!"--and at the same time they'll be just as afraid of +death, and unwilling to meet it, as we are. + +VERSHININ. [Thoughtfully] How can I put it? It seems to me that +everything on earth must change, little by little, and is already +changing under our very eyes. After two or three hundred years, after +a thousand--the actual time doesn't matter--a new and happy age will +begin. We, of course, shall not take part in it, but we live and work +and even suffer to-day that it should come. We create it--and in that +one object is our destiny and, if you like, our happiness. + +[MASHA laughs softly.] + +TUZENBACH. What is it? + +MASHA. I don't know. I've been laughing all day, ever since morning. + +VERSHININ. I finished my education at the same point as you, I have not +studied at universities; I read a lot, but I cannot choose my books and +perhaps what I read is not at all what I should, but the longer I love, +the more I want to know. My hair is turning white, I am nearly an old +man now, but I know so little, oh, so little! But I think I know the +things that matter most, and that are most real. I know them well. And I +wish I could make you understand that there is no happiness for us, +that there should not and cannot be.... We must only work and work, and +happiness is only for our distant posterity. [Pause] If not for me, then +for the descendants of my descendants. + +[FEDOTIK and RODE come into the dining-room; they sit and sing softly, +strumming on a guitar.] + +TUZENBACH. According to you, one should not even think about happiness! +But suppose I am happy! + +VERSHININ. No. + +TUZENBACH. [Moves his hands and laughs] We do not seem to understand +each other. How can I convince you? [MASHA laughs quietly, TUZENBACH +continues, pointing at her] Yes, laugh! [To VERSHININ] Not only after +two or three centuries, but in a million years, life will still be as it +was; life does not change, it remains for ever, following its own laws +which do not concern us, or which, at any rate, you will never find out. +Migrant birds, cranes for example, fly and fly, and whatever thoughts, +high or low, enter their heads, they will still fly and not know why or +where. They fly and will continue to fly, whatever philosophers come to +life among them; they may philosophize as much as they like, only they +will fly.... + +MASHA. Still, is there a meaning? + +TUZENBACH. A meaning.... Now the snow is falling. What meaning? [Pause.] + +MASHA. It seems to me that a man must have faith, or must search for a +faith, or his life will be empty, empty.... To live and not to know why +the cranes fly, why babies are born, why there are stars in the sky.... +Either you must know why you live, or everything is trivial, not worth a +straw. [A pause.] + +VERSHININ. Still, I am sorry that my youth has gone. + +MASHA. Gogol says: life in this world is a dull matter, my masters! + +TUZENBACH. And I say it's difficult to argue with you, my masters! Hang +it all. + +CHEBUTIKIN. [Reading] Balzac was married at Berdichev. [IRINA is singing +softly] That's worth making a note of. [He makes a note] Balzac was +married at Berdichev. [Goes on reading.] + +IRINA. [Laying out cards, thoughtfully] Balzac was married at Berdichev. + +TUZENBACH. The die is cast. I've handed in my resignation, Maria +Sergeyevna. + +MASHA. So I heard. I don't see what good it is; I don't like civilians. + +TUZENBACH. Never mind.... [Gets up] I'm not handsome; what use am I as a +soldier? Well, it makes no difference... I shall work. If only just once +in my life I could work so that I could come home in the evening, +fall exhausted on my bed, and go to sleep at once. [Going into the +dining-room] Workmen, I suppose, do sleep soundly! + +FEDOTIK. [To IRINA] I bought some coloured pencils for you at Pizhikov's +in the Moscow Road, just now. And here is a little knife. + +IRINA. You have got into the habit of behaving to me as if I am a little +girl, but I am grown up. [Takes the pencils and the knife, then, with +joy] How lovely! + +FEDOTIK. And I bought myself a knife... look at it... one blade, +another, a third, an ear-scoop, scissors, nail-cleaners. + +RODE. [Loudly] Doctor, how old are you? + +CHEBUTIKIN. I? Thirty-two. [Laughter] + +FEDOTIK. I'll show you another kind of patience.... [Lays out cards.] + +[A samovar is brought in; ANFISA attends to it; a little later NATASHA +enters and helps by the table; SOLENI arrives and, after greetings, sits +by the table.] + +VERSHININ. What a wind! + +MASHA. Yes. I'm tired of winter. I've already forgotten what summer's +like. + +IRINA. It's coming out, I see. We're going to Moscow. + +FEDOTIK. No, it won't come out. Look, the eight was on the two of +spades. [Laughs] That means you won't go to Moscow. + +CHEBUTIKIN. [Reading paper] Tsitsigar. Smallpox is raging here. + +ANFISA. [Coming up to MASHA] Masha, have some tea, little mother. [To +VERSHININ] Please have some, sir... excuse me, but I've forgotten your +name.... + +MASHA. Bring some here, nurse. I shan't go over there. + +IRINA. Nurse! + +ANFISA. Coming, coming! + +NATASHA. [To SOLENI] Children at the breast understand perfectly. I said +"Good morning, Bobby; good morning, dear!" And he looked at me in quite +an unusual way. You think it's only the mother in me that is speaking; I +assure you that isn't so! He's a wonderful child. + +SOLENI. If he was my child I'd roast him on a frying-pan and eat him. +[Takes his tumbler into the drawing-room and sits in a corner.] + +NATASHA. [Covers her face in her hands] Vulgar, ill-bred man! + +MASHA. He's lucky who doesn't notice whether it's winter now, or summer. +I think that if I were in Moscow, I shouldn't mind about the weather. + +VERSHININ. A few days ago I was reading the prison diary of a French +minister. He had been sentenced on account of the Panama scandal. With +what joy, what delight, he speaks of the birds he saw through the prison +windows, which he had never noticed while he was a minister. Now, of +course, that he is at liberty, he notices birds no more than he did +before. When you go to live in Moscow you'll not notice it, in just +the same way. There can be no happiness for us, it only exists in our +wishes. + +TUZENBACH. [Takes cardboard box from the table] Where are the pastries? + +IRINA. Soleni has eaten them. + +TUZENBACH. All of them? + +ANFISA. [Serving tea] There's a letter for you. + +VERSHININ. For me? [Takes the letter] From my daughter. [Reads] Yes, of +course... I will go quietly. Excuse me, Maria Sergeyevna. I shan't have +any tea. [Stands up, excited] That eternal story.... + +MASHA. What is it? Is it a secret? + +VERSHININ. [Quietly] My wife has poisoned herself again. I must go. I'll +go out quietly. It's all awfully unpleasant. [Kisses MASHA'S hand] My +dear, my splendid, good woman... I'll go this way, quietly. [Exit.] + +ANFISA. Where has he gone? And I'd served tea.... What a man. + +MASHA. [Angrily] Be quiet! You bother so one can't have a moment's +peace.... [Goes to the table with her cup] I'm tired of you, old woman! + +ANFISA. My dear! Why are you offended! + +ANDREY'S VOICE. Anfisa! + +ANFISA. [Mocking] Anfisa! He sits there and... [Exit.] + +MASHA. [In the dining-room, by the table angrily] Let me sit down! +[Disturbs the cards on the table] Here you are, spreading your cards +out. Have some tea! + +IRINA. You are cross, Masha. + +MASHA. If I am cross, then don't talk to me. Don't touch me! + +CHEBUTIKIN. Don't touch her, don't touch her.... + +MASHA. You're sixty, but you're like a boy, always up to some beastly +nonsense. + +NATASHA. [Sighs] Dear Masha, why use such expressions? With your +beautiful exterior you would be simply fascinating in good society, +I tell you so directly, if it wasn't for your words. _Je vous prie, +pardonnez moi, Marie, mais vous avez des manires un peu grossires_. + +TUZENBACH. [Restraining his laughter] Give me... give me... there's some +cognac, I think. + +NATASHA. _Il parait, que mon Bobick dj ne dort pas_, he has awakened. +He isn't well to-day. I'll go to him, excuse me... [Exit.] + +IRINA. Where has Alexander Ignateyevitch gone? + +MASHA. Home. Something extraordinary has happened to his wife again. + +TUZENBACH. [Goes to SOLENI with a cognac-flask in his hands] You go on +sitting by yourself, thinking of something--goodness knows what. Come +and let's make peace. Let's have some cognac. [They drink] I expect I'll +have to play the piano all night, some rubbish most likely... well, so +be it! + +SOLENI. Why make peace? I haven't quarrelled with you. + +TUZENBACH. You always make me feel as if something has taken place +between us. You've a strange character, you must admit. + +SOLENI. [Declaims] "I am strange, but who is not? Don't be angry, +Aleko!" + +TUZENBACH. And what has Aleko to do with it? [Pause.] + +SOLENI. When I'm with one other man I behave just like everybody else, +but in company I'm dull and shy and... talk all manner of rubbish. But +I'm more honest and more honourable than very, very many people. And I +can prove it. + +TUZENBACH. I often get angry with you, you always fasten on to me +in company, but I like you all the same. I'm going to drink my fill +to-night, whatever happens. Drink, now! + +SOLENI. Let's drink. [They drink] I never had anything against you, +Baron. But my character is like Lermontov's [In a low voice] I even +rather resemble Lermontov, they say.... [Takes a scent-bottle from his +pocket, and scents his hands.] + +TUZENBACH. I've sent in my resignation. Basta! I've been thinking about +it for five years, and at last made up my mind. I shall work. + +SOLENI. [Declaims] "Do not be angry, Aleko... forget, forget, thy dreams +of yore...." + +[While he is speaking ANDREY enters quietly with a book, and sits by the +table.] + +TUZENBACH. I shall work. + +CHEBUTIKIN. [Going with IRINA into the dining-room] And the food was +also real Caucasian onion soup, and, for a roast, some chehartma. + +SOLENI. Cheremsha [Note: A variety of garlic.] isn't meat at all, but a +plant something like an onion. + +CHEBUTIKIN. No, my angel. Chehartma isn't onion, but roast mutton. + +SOLENI. And I tell you, chehartma--is a sort of onion. + +CHEBUTIKIN. And I tell you, chehartma--is mutton. + +SOLENI. And I tell you, cheremsha--is a sort of onion. + +CHEBUTIKIN. What's the use of arguing! You've never been in the +Caucasus, and never ate any chehartma. + +SOLENI. I never ate it, because I hate it. It smells like garlic. + +ANDREY. [Imploring] Please, please! I ask you! + +TUZENBACH. When are the entertainers coming? + +IRINA. They promised for about nine; that is, quite soon. + +TUZENBACH. [Embraces ANDREY] + + "Oh my house, my house, my new-built house." + +ANDREY. [Dances and sings] "Newly-built of maple-wood." + +CHEBUTIKIN. [Dances] + + "Its walls are like a sieve!" [Laughter.] + +TUZENBACH. [Kisses ANDREY] Hang it all, let's drink. Andrey, old boy, +let's drink with you. And I'll go with you, Andrey, to the University of +Moscow. + +SOLENI. Which one? There are two universities in Moscow. + +ANDREY. There's one university in Moscow. + +SOLENI. Two, I tell you. + +ANDREY. Don't care if there are three. So much the better. + +SOLENI. There are two universities in Moscow! [There are murmurs and +"hushes"] There are two universities in Moscow, the old one and the new +one. And if you don't like to listen, if my words annoy you, then I need +not speak. I can even go into another room.... [Exit.] + +TUZENBACH. Bravo, bravo! [Laughs] Come on, now. I'm going to play. Funny +man, Soleni.... [Goes to the piano and plays a waltz.] + +MASHA. [Dancing solo] The Baron's drunk, the Baron's drunk, the Baron's +drunk! + +[NATASHA comes in.] + +NATASHA. [To CHEBUTIKIN] Ivan Romanovitch! + +[Says something to CHEBUTIKIN, then goes out quietly; CHEBUTIKIN touches +TUZENBACH on the shoulder and whispers something to him.] + +IRINA. What is it? + +CHEBUTIKIN. Time for us to go. Good-bye. + +TUZENBACH. Good-night. It's time we went. + +IRINA. But, really, the entertainers? + +ANDREY. [In confusion] There won't be any entertainers. You see, dear, +Natasha says that Bobby isn't quite well, and so.... In a word, I don't +care, and it's absolutely all one to me. + +IRINA. [Shrugging her shoulders] Bobby ill! + +MASHA. What is she thinking of! Well, if they are sent home, I suppose +they must go. [To IRINA] Bobby's all right, it's she herself.... Here! +[Taps her forehead] Little bourgeoise! + +[ANDREY goes to his room through the right-hand door, CHEBUTIKIN follows +him. In the dining-room they are saying good-bye.] + +FEDOTIK. What a shame! I was expecting to spend the evening here, but of +course, if the little baby is ill... I'll bring him some toys to-morrow. + +RODE. [Loudly] I slept late after dinner to-day because I thought I was +going to dance all night. It's only nine o'clock now! + +MASHA. Let's go into the street, we can talk there. Then we can settle +things. + +(Good-byes and good nights are heard. TUZENBACH'S merry laughter is +heard. [All go out] ANFISA and the maid clear the table, and put out +the lights. [The nurse sings] ANDREY, wearing an overcoat and a hat, and +CHEBUTIKIN enter silently.) + +CHEBUTIKIN. I never managed to get married because my life flashed by +like lightning, and because I was madly in love with your mother, who +was married. + +ANDREY. One shouldn't marry. One shouldn't, because it's dull. + +CHEBUTIKIN. So there I am, in my loneliness. Say what you will, +loneliness is a terrible thing, old fellow.... Though really... of +course, it absolutely doesn't matter! + +ANDREY. Let's be quicker. + +CHEBUTIKIN. What are you in such a hurry for? We shall be in time. + +ANDREY. I'm afraid my wife may stop me. + +CHEBUTIKIN. Ah! + +ANDREY. I shan't play to-night, I shall only sit and look on. I don't +feel very well.... What am I to do for my asthma, Ivan Romanovitch? + +CHEBUTIKIN. Don't ask me! I don't remember, old fellow, I don't know. + +ANDREY. Let's go through the kitchen. [They go out.] + +[A bell rings, then a second time; voices and laughter are heard.] + +IRINA. [Enters] What's that? + +ANFISA. [Whispers] The entertainers! [Bell.] + +IRINA. Tell them there's nobody at home, nurse. They must excuse us. + +[ANFISA goes out. IRINA walks about the room deep in thought; she is +excited. SOLENI enters.] + +SOLENI. [In surprise] There's nobody here.... Where are they all? + +IRINA. They've gone home. + +SOLENI. How strange. Are you here alone? + +IRINA. Yes, alone. [A pause] Good-bye. + +SOLENI. Just now I behaved tactlessly, with insufficient reserve. But +you are not like all the others, you are noble and pure, you can see +the truth.... You alone can understand me. I love you, deeply, beyond +measure, I love you. + +IRINA. Good-bye! Go away. + +SOLENI. I cannot live without you. [Follows her] Oh, my happiness! +[Through his tears] Oh, joy! Wonderful, marvellous, glorious eyes, such +as I have never seen before.... + +IRINA. [Coldly] Stop it, Vassili Vassilevitch! + +SOLENI. This is the first time I speak to you of love, and it is as if +I am no longer on the earth, but on another planet. [Wipes his forehead] +Well, never mind. I can't make you love me by force, of course... but I +don't intend to have any more-favoured rivals.... No... I swear to you +by all the saints, I shall kill my rival.... Oh, beautiful one! + +[NATASHA enters with a candle; she looks in through one door, then +through another, and goes past the door leading to her husband's room.] + +NATASHA. Here's Andrey. Let him go on reading. Excuse me, Vassili +Vassilevitch, I did not know you were here; I am engaged in +domesticities. + +SOLENI. It's all the same to me. Good-bye! [Exit.] + +NATASHA. You're so tired, my poor dear girl! [Kisses IRINA] If you only +went to bed earlier. + +IRINA. Is Bobby asleep? + +NATASHA. Yes, but restlessly. By the way, dear, I wanted to tell you, +but either you weren't at home, or I was busy... I think Bobby's present +nursery is cold and damp. And your room would be so nice for the child. +My dear, darling girl, do change over to Olga's for a bit! + +IRINA. [Not understanding] Where? + +[The bells of a troika are heard as it drives up to the house.] + +NATASHA. You and Olga can share a room, for the time being, and Bobby +can have yours. He's such a darling; to-day I said to him, "Bobby, +you're mine! Mine!" And he looked at me with his dear little eyes. +[A bell rings] It must be Olga. How late she is! [The maid enters and +whispers to NATASHA] Protopopov? What a queer man to do such a thing. +Protopopov's come and wants me to go for a drive with him in his troika. +[Laughs] How funny these men are.... [A bell rings] Somebody has come. +Suppose I did go and have half an hour's drive.... [To the maid] Say +I shan't be long. [Bell rings] Somebody's ringing, it must be Olga. +[Exit.] + +[The maid runs out; IRINA sits deep in thought; KULIGIN and OLGA enter, +followed by VERSHININ.] + +KULIGIN. Well, there you are. And you said there was going to be a +party. + +VERSHININ. It's queer; I went away not long ago, half an hour ago, and +they were expecting entertainers. + +IRINA. They've all gone. + +KULIGIN. Has Masha gone too? Where has she gone? And what's Protopopov +waiting for downstairs in his troika? Whom is he expecting? + +IRINA. Don't ask questions... I'm tired. + +KULIGIN. Oh, you're all whimsies.... + +OLGA. My committee meeting is only just over. I'm tired out. Our +chairwoman is ill, so I had to take her place. My head, my head is +aching.... [Sits] Andrey lost 200 roubles at cards yesterday... the +whole town is talking about it.... + +KULIGIN. Yes, my meeting tired me too. [Sits.] + +VERSHININ. My wife took it into her head to frighten me just now by +nearly poisoning herself. It's all right now, and I'm glad; I can rest +now.... But perhaps we ought to go away? Well, my best wishes, Feodor +Ilitch, let's go somewhere together! I can't, I absolutely can't stop at +home.... Come on! + +KULIGIN. I'm tired. I won't go. [Gets up] I'm tired. Has my wife gone +home? + +IRINA. I suppose so. + +KULIGIN. [Kisses IRINA'S hand] Good-bye, I'm going to rest all day +to-morrow and the day after. Best wishes! [Going] I should like some +tea. I was looking forward to spending the whole evening in pleasant +company and--o, fallacem hominum spem!... Accusative case after an +interjection.... + +VERSHININ. Then I'll go somewhere by myself. [Exit with KULIGIN, +whistling.] + +OLGA. I've such a headache... Andrey has been losing money.... The whole +town is talking.... I'll go and lie down. [Going] I'm free to-morrow.... +Oh, my God, what a mercy! I'm free to-morrow, I'm free the day after.... +Oh my head, my head.... [Exit.] + +IRINA. [alone] They've all gone. Nobody's left. + +[A concertina is being played in the street. The nurse sings.] + +NATASHA. [in fur coat and cap, steps across the dining-room, followed +by the maid] I'll be back in half an hour. I'm only going for a little +drive. [Exit.] + +IRINA. [Alone in her misery] To Moscow! Moscow! Moscow! + +Curtain. + + + + +ACT III + +[The room shared by OLGA and IRINA. Beds, screened off, on the right and +left. It is past 2 a.m. Behind the stage a fire-alarm is ringing; it has +apparently been going for some time. Nobody in the house has gone to bed +yet. MASHA is lying on a sofa dressed, as usual, in black. Enter OLGA +and ANFISA.] + +ANFISA. Now they are downstairs, sitting under the stairs. I said to +them, "Won't you come up," I said, "You can't go on like this," and they +simply cried, "We don't know where father is." They said, "He may be +burnt up by now." What an idea! And in the yard there are some people... +also undressed. + +OLGA. [Takes a dress out of the cupboard] Take this grey dress.... And +this... and the blouse as well.... Take the skirt, too, nurse.... My +God! How awful it is! The whole of the Kirsanovsky Road seems to have +burned down. Take this... and this.... [Throws clothes into her hands] +The poor Vershinins are so frightened.... Their house was nearly burnt. +They ought to come here for the night.... They shouldn't be allowed +to go home.... Poor Fedotik is completely burnt out, there's nothing +left.... + +ANFISA. Couldn't you call Ferapont, Olga dear. I can hardly manage.... + +OLGA. [Rings] They'll never answer.... [At the door] Come here, whoever +there is! [Through the open door can be seen a window, red with flame: +afire-engine is heard passing the house] How awful this is. And how I'm +sick of it! [FERAPONT enters] Take these things down.... The Kolotilin +girls are down below... and let them have them. This, too. + +FERAPONT. Yes'm. In the year twelve Moscow was burning too. Oh, my God! +The Frenchmen were surprised. + +OLGA. Go on, go on.... + +FERAPONT. Yes'm. [Exit.] + +OLGA. Nurse, dear, let them have everything. We don't want anything. +Give it all to them, nurse.... I'm tired, I can hardly keep on my +legs.... The Vershinins mustn't be allowed to go home.... The girls can +sleep in the drawing-room, and Alexander Ignateyevitch can go downstairs +to the Baron's flat... Fedotik can go there, too, or else into our +dining-room.... The doctor is drunk, beastly drunk, as if on purpose, +so nobody can go to him. Vershinin's wife, too, may go into the +drawing-room. + +ANFISA. [Tired] Olga, dear girl, don't dismiss me! Don't dismiss me! + +OLGA. You're talking nonsense, nurse. Nobody is dismissing you. + +ANFISA. [Puts OLGA'S head against her bosom] My dear, precious girl, I'm +working, I'm toiling away... I'm growing weak, and they'll all say go +away! And where shall I go? Where? I'm eighty. Eighty-one years old.... + +OLGA. You sit down, nurse dear.... You're tired, poor dear.... [Makes +her sit down] Rest, dear. You're so pale! + +[NATASHA comes in.] + +NATASHA. They are saying that a committee to assist the sufferers from +the fire must be formed at once. What do you think of that? It's a +beautiful idea. Of course the poor ought to be helped, it's the duty of +the rich. Bobby and little Sophy are sleeping, sleeping as if nothing at +all was the matter. There's such a lot of people here, the place is full +of them, wherever you go. There's influenza in the town now. I'm afraid +the children may catch it. + +OLGA. [Not attending] In this room we can't see the fire, it's quiet +here. + +NATASHA. Yes... I suppose I'm all untidy. [Before the looking-glass] +They say I'm growing stout... it isn't true! Certainly it isn't! Masha's +asleep; the poor thing is tired out.... [Coldly, to ANFISA] Don't dare +to be seated in my presence! Get up! Out of this! [Exit ANFISA; a pause] +I don't understand what makes you keep on that old woman! + +OLGA. [Confusedly] Excuse me, I don't understand either... + +NATASHA. She's no good here. She comes from the country, she ought to +live there.... Spoiling her, I call it! I like order in the house! +We don't want any unnecessary people here. [Strokes her cheek] You're +tired, poor thing! Our head mistress is tired! And when my little Sophie +grows up and goes to school I shall be so afraid of you. + +OLGA. I shan't be head mistress. + +NATASHA. They'll appoint you, Olga. It's settled. + +OLGA. I'll refuse the post. I can't... I'm not strong enough.... [Drinks +water] You were so rude to nurse just now... I'm sorry. I can't stand +it... everything seems dark in front of me.... + +NATASHA. [Excited] Forgive me, Olga, forgive me... I didn't want to +annoy you. + +[MASHA gets up, takes a pillow and goes out angrily.] + +OLGA. Remember, dear... we have been brought up, in an unusual way, +perhaps, but I can't bear this. Such behaviour has a bad effect on me, I +get ill... I simply lose heart! + +NATASHA. Forgive me, forgive me.... [Kisses her.] + +OLGA. Even the least bit of rudeness, the slightest impoliteness, upsets +me. + +NATASHA. I often say too much, it's true, but you must agree, dear, that +she could just as well live in the country. + +OLGA. She has been with us for thirty years. + +NATASHA. But she can't do any work now. Either I don't understand, or +you don't want to understand me. She's no good for work, she can only +sleep or sit about. + +OLGA. And let her sit about. + +NATASHA. [Surprised] What do you mean? She's only a servant. [Crying] I +don't understand you, Olga. I've got a nurse, a wet-nurse, we've a cook, +a housemaid... what do we want that old woman for as well? What good is +she? [Fire-alarm behind the stage.] + +OLGA. I've grown ten years older to-night. + +NATASHA. We must come to an agreement, Olga. Your place is the school, +mine--the home. You devote yourself to teaching, I, to the household. +And if I talk about servants, then I do know what I am talking about; I +do know what I am talking about... And to-morrow there's to be no more +of that old thief, that old hag... [Stamping] that witch! And don't you +dare to annoy me! Don't you dare! [Stopping short] Really, if you don't +move downstairs, we shall always be quarrelling. This is awful. + +[Enter KULIGIN.] + +KULIGIN. Where's Masha? It's time we went home. The fire seems to be +going down. [Stretches himself] Only one block has burnt down, but there +was such a wind that it seemed at first the whole town was going to +burn. [Sits] I'm tired out. My dear Olga... I often think that if +it hadn't been for Masha, I should have married you. You are awfully +nice.... I am absolutely tired out. [Listens.] + +OLGA. What is it? + +KULIGIN. The doctor, of course, has been drinking hard; he's terribly +drunk. He might have done it on purpose! [Gets up] He seems to be coming +here.... Do you hear him? Yes, here.... [Laughs] What a man... really... +I'll hide myself. [Goes to the cupboard and stands in the corner] What a +rogue. + +OLGA. He hadn't touched a drop for two years, and now he suddenly goes +and gets drunk.... + +[Retires with NATASHA to the back of the room. CHEBUTIKIN enters; +apparently sober, he stops, looks round, then goes to the wash-stand and +begins to wash his hands.] + +CHEBUTIKIN. [Angrily] Devil take them all... take them all.... They +think I'm a doctor and can cure everything, and I know absolutely +nothing, I've forgotten all I ever knew, I remember nothing, absolutely +nothing. [OLGA and NATASHA go out, unnoticed by him] Devil take it. Last +Wednesday I attended a woman in Zasip--and she died, and it's my fault +that she died. Yes... I used to know a certain amount five-and-twenty +years ago, but I don't remember anything now. Nothing. Perhaps I'm not +really a man, and am only pretending that I've got arms and legs and a +head; perhaps I don't exist at all, and only imagine that I walk, and +eat, and sleep. [Cries] Oh, if only I didn't exist! [Stops crying; +angrily] The devil only knows.... Day before yesterday they were talking +in the club; they said, Shakespeare, Voltaire... I'd never read, never +read at all, and I put on an expression as if I had read. And so did the +others. Oh, how beastly! How petty! And then I remembered the woman +I killed on Wednesday... and I couldn't get her out of my mind, and +everything in my mind became crooked, nasty, wretched.... So I went and +drank.... + +[IRINA, VERSHININ and TUZENBACH enter; TUZENBACH is wearing new and +fashionable civilian clothes.] + +IRINA. Let's sit down here. Nobody will come in here. + +VERSHININ. The whole town would have been destroyed if it hadn't been +for the soldiers. Good men! [Rubs his hands appreciatively] Splendid +people! Oh, what a fine lot! + +KULIGIN. [Coming up to him] What's the time? + +TUZENBACH. It's past three now. It's dawning. + +IRINA. They are all sitting in the dining-room, nobody is going. And +that Soleni of yours is sitting there. [To CHEBUTIKIN] Hadn't you better +be going to sleep, doctor? + +CHEBUTIKIN. It's all right... thank you.... [Combs his beard.] + +KULIGIN. [Laughs] Speaking's a bit difficult, eh, Ivan Romanovitch! +[Pats him on the shoulder] Good man! _In vino veritas_, the ancients +used to say. + +TUZENBACH. They keep on asking me to get up a concert in aid of the +sufferers. + +IRINA. As if one could do anything.... + +TUZENBACH. It might be arranged, if necessary. In my opinion Maria +Sergeyevna is an excellent pianist. + +KULIGIN. Yes, excellent! + +IRINA. She's forgotten everything. She hasn't played for three years... +or four. + +TUZENBACH. In this town absolutely nobody understands music, not a soul +except myself, but I do understand it, and assure you on my word of +honour that Maria Sergeyevna plays excellently, almost with genius. + +KULIGIN. You are right, Baron, I'm awfully fond of Masha. She's very +fine. + +TUZENBACH. To be able to play so admirably and to realize at the same +time that nobody, nobody can understand you! + +KULIGIN. [Sighs] Yes.... But will it be quite all right for her to take +part in a concert? [Pause] You see, I don't know anything about it. +Perhaps it will even be all to the good. Although I must admit that our +Director is a good man, a very good man even, a very clever man, still +he has such views.... Of course it isn't his business but still, if you +wish it, perhaps I'd better talk to him. + +[CHEBUTIKIN takes a porcelain clock into his hands and examines it.] + +VERSHININ. I got so dirty while the fire was on, I don't look like +anybody on earth. [Pause] Yesterday I happened to hear, casually, that +they want to transfer our brigade to some distant place. Some said to +Poland, others, to Chita. + +TUZENBACH. I heard so, too. Well, if it is so, the town will be quite +empty. + +IRINA. And we'll go away, too! + +CHEBUTIKIN. [Drops the clock which breaks to pieces] To smithereens! + +[A pause; everybody is pained and confused.] + +KULIGIN. [Gathering up the pieces] To smash such a valuable object--oh, +Ivan Romanovitch, Ivan Romanovitch! A very bad mark for your +misbehaviour! + +IRINA. That clock used to belong to our mother. + +CHEBUTIKIN. Perhaps.... To your mother, your mother. Perhaps I didn't +break it; it only looks as if I broke it. Perhaps we only think that +we exist, when really we don't. I don't know anything, nobody knows +anything. [At the door] What are you looking at? Natasha has a little +romance with Protopopov, and you don't see it.... There you sit and see +nothing, and Natasha has a little romance with Protopovov.... [Sings] +Won't you please accept this date.... [Exit.] + +VERSHININ. Yes. [Laughs] How strange everything really is! [Pause] When +the fire broke out, I hurried off home; when I get there I see the house +is whole, uninjured, and in no danger, but my two girls are standing by +the door in just their underclothes, their mother isn't there, the crowd +is excited, horses and dogs are running about, and the girls' faces are +so agitated, terrified, beseeching, and I don't know what else. My heart +was pained when I saw those faces. My God, I thought, what these girls +will have to put up with if they live long! I caught them up and ran, +and still kept on thinking the one thing: what they will have to live +through in this world! [Fire-alarm; a pause] I come here and find their +mother shouting and angry. [MASHA enters with a pillow and sits on +the sofa] And when my girls were standing by the door in just their +underclothes, and the street was red from the fire, there was a dreadful +noise, and I thought that something of the sort used to happen many +years ago when an enemy made a sudden attack, and looted, and burned.... +And at the same time what a difference there really is between the +present and the past! And when a little more time has gone by, in two or +three hundred years perhaps, people will look at our present life with +just the same fear, and the same contempt, and the whole past will seem +clumsy and dull, and very uncomfortable, and strange. Oh, indeed, what a +life there will be, what a life! [Laughs] Forgive me, I've dropped +into philosophy again. Please let me continue. I do awfully want to +philosophize, it's just how I feel at present. [Pause] As if they +are all asleep. As I was saying: what a life there will be! Only just +imagine.... There are only three persons like yourselves in the town +just now, but in future generations there will be more and more, and +still more, and the time will come when everything will change and +become as you would have it, people will live as you do, and then you +too will go out of date; people will be born who are better than +you.... [Laughs] Yes, to-day I am quite exceptionally in the vein. I am +devilishly keen on living.... [Sings.] + + "The power of love all ages know, + From its assaults great good does grow." [Laughs.] + +MASHA. Trum-tum-tum... + +VERSHININ. Tum-tum... + +MASHA. Tra-ra-ra? + +VERSHININ. Tra-ta-ta. [Laughs.] + +[Enter FEDOTIK.] + +FEDOTIK. [Dancing] I'm burnt out, I'm burnt out! Down to the ground! +[Laughter.] + +IRINA. I don't see anything funny about it. Is everything burnt? + +FEDOTIK. [Laughs] Absolutely. Nothing left at all. The guitar's burnt, +and the photographs are burnt, and all my correspondence.... And I was +going to make you a present of a note-book, and that's burnt too. + +[SOLENI comes in.] + +IRINA. No, you can't come here, Vassili Vassilevitch. Please go away. + +SOLENI. Why can the Baron come here and I can't? + +VERSHININ. We really must go. How's the fire? + +SOLENI. They say it's going down. No, I absolutely don't see why the +Baron can, and I can't? [Scents his hands.] + +VERSHININ. Trum-tum-tum. + +MASHA. Trum-tum. + +VERSHININ. [Laughs to SOLENI] Let's go into the dining-room. + +SOLENI. Very well, we'll make a note of it. "If I should try to make +this clear, the geese would be annoyed, I fear." [Looks at TUZENBACH] +There, there, there.... [Goes out with VERSHININ and FEDOTIK.] + +IRINA. How Soleni smelt of tobacco.... [In surprise] The Baron's asleep! +Baron! Baron! + +TUZENBACH. [Waking] I am tired, I must say.... The brickworks.... +No, I'm not wandering, I mean it; I'm going to start work soon at the +brickworks... I've already talked it over. [Tenderly, to IRINA] You're +so pale, and beautiful, and charming.... Your paleness seems to shine +through the dark air as if it was a light.... You are sad, displeased +with life.... Oh, come with me, let's go and work together! + +MASHA. Nicolai Lvovitch, go away from here. + +TUZENBACH. [Laughs] Are you here? I didn't see you. [Kisses IRINA'S +hand] good-bye, I'll go... I look at you now and I remember, as if it +was long ago, your name-day, when you, cheerfully and merrily, were +talking about the joys of labour.... And how happy life seemed to me, +then! What has happened to it now? [Kisses her hand] There are tears in +your eyes. Go to bed now; it is already day... the morning begins.... If +only I was allowed to give my life for you! + +MASHA. Nicolai Lvovitch, go away! What business... + +TUZENBACH. I'm off. [Exit.] + +MASHA. [Lies down] Are you asleep, Feodor? + +KULIGIN. Eh? + +MASHA. Shouldn't you go home. + +KULIGIN. My dear Masha, my darling Masha.... + +IRINA. She's tired out. You might let her rest, Fedia. + +KULIGIN. I'll go at once. My wife's a good, splendid... I love you, my +only one.... + +MASHA. [Angrily] Amo, amas, amat, amamus, amatis, amant. + +KULIGIN. [Laughs] No, she really is wonderful. I've been your husband +seven years, and it seems as if I was only married yesterday. On +my word. No, you really are a wonderful woman. I'm satisfied, I'm +satisfied, I'm satisfied! + +MASHA. I'm bored, I'm bored, I'm bored.... [Sits up] But I can't get it +out of my head.... It's simply disgraceful. It has been gnawing away at +me... I can't keep silent. I mean about Andrey.... He has mortgaged this +house with the bank, and his wife has got all the money; but the house +doesn't belong to him alone, but to the four of us! He ought to know +that, if he's an honourable man. + +KULIGIN. What's the use, Masha? Andrey is in debt all round; well, let +him do as he pleases. + +MASHA. It's disgraceful, anyway. [Lies down] + +KULIGIN. You and I are not poor. I work, take my classes, give private +lessons... I am a plain, honest man... _Omnia mea mecum porto_, as they +say. + +MASHA. I don't want anything, but the unfairness of it disgusts me. +[Pause] You go, Feodor. + +KULIGIN. [Kisses her] You're tired, just rest for half an hour, and I'll +sit and wait for you. Sleep.... [Going] I'm satisfied, I'm satisfied, +I'm satisfied. [Exit.] + +IRINA. Yes, really, our Andrey has grown smaller; how he's snuffed +out and aged with that woman! He used to want to be a professor, and +yesterday he was boasting that at last he had been made a member of the +district council. He is a member, and Protopopov is chairman.... The +whole town talks and laughs about it, and he alone knows and sees +nothing.... And now everybody's gone to look at the fire, but he sits +alone in his room and pays no attention, only just plays on his fiddle. +[Nervily] Oh, it's awful, awful, awful. [Weeps] I can't, I can't bear it +any longer!... I can't, I can't!... [OLGA comes in and clears up at her +little table. IRINA is sobbing loudly] Throw me out, throw me out, I +can't bear any more! + +OLGA. [Alarmed] What is it, what is it? Dear! + +IRINA. [Sobbing] Where? Where has everything gone? Where is it all? +Oh my God, my God! I've forgotten everything, everything... I don't +remember what is the Italian for window or, well, for ceiling... I +forget everything, every day I forget it, and life passes and will never +return, and we'll never go away to Moscow... I see that we'll never +go.... + +OLGA. Dear, dear.... + +IRINA. [Controlling herself] Oh, I am unhappy... I can't work, I shan't +work. Enough, enough! I used to be a telegraphist, now I work at the +town council offices, and I have nothing but hate and contempt for all +they give me to do... I am already twenty-three, I have already been +at work for a long while, and my brain has dried up, and I've grown +thinner, plainer, older, and there is no relief of any sort, and time +goes and it seems all the while as if I am going away from the real, the +beautiful life, farther and farther away, down some precipice. I'm in +despair and I can't understand how it is that I am still alive, that I +haven't killed myself. + +OLGA. Don't cry, dear girl, don't cry... I suffer, too. + +IRINA. I'm not crying, not crying.... Enough.... Look, I'm not crying +any more. Enough... enough! + +OLGA. Dear, I tell you as a sister and a friend if you want my advice, +marry the Baron. [IRINA cries softly] You respect him, you think highly +of him.... It is true that he is not handsome, but he is so honourable +and clean... people don't marry from love, but in order to do one's +duty. I think so, at any rate, and I'd marry without being in love. +Whoever he was, I should marry him, so long as he was a decent man. Even +if he was old.... + +IRINA. I was always waiting until we should be settled in Moscow, there +I should meet my true love; I used to think about him, and love him.... +But it's all turned out to be nonsense, all nonsense.... + +OLGA. [Embraces her sister] My dear, beautiful sister, I understand +everything; when Baron Nicolai Lvovitch left the army and came to us in +evening dress, [Note: I.e. in the correct dress for making a proposal of +marriage.] he seemed so bad-looking to me that I even started crying.... +He asked, "What are you crying for?" How could I tell him! But if God +brought him to marry you, I should be happy. That would be different, +quite different. + +[NATASHA with a candle walks across the stage from right to left without +saying anything.] + +MASHA. [Sitting up] She walks as if she's set something on fire. + +OLGA. Masha, you're silly, you're the silliest of the family. Please +forgive me for saying so. [Pause.] + +MASHA. I want to make a confession, dear sisters. My soul is in pain. +I will confess to you, and never again to anybody... I'll tell you this +minute. [Softly] It's my secret but you must know everything... I can't +be silent.... [Pause] I love, I love... I love that man.... You saw him +only just now.... Why don't I say it... in one word. I love Vershinin. + +OLGA. [Goes behind her screen] Stop that, I don't hear you in any case. + +MASHA. What am I to do? [Takes her head in her hands] First he seemed +queer to me, then I was sorry for him... then I fell in love with +him... fell in love with his voice, his words, his misfortunes, his two +daughters. + +OLGA. [Behind the screen] I'm not listening. You may talk any nonsense +you like, it will be all the same, I shan't hear. + +MASHA. Oh, Olga, you are foolish. I am in love--that means that is to be +my fate. It means that is to be my lot.... And he loves me.... It is all +awful. Yes; it isn't good, is it? [Takes IRINA'S hand and draws her to +her] Oh, my dear.... How are we going to live through our lives, what is +to become of us.... When you read a novel it all seems so old and easy, +but when you fall in love yourself, then you learn that nobody knows +anything, and each must decide for himself.... My dear ones, my +sisters... I've confessed, now I shall keep silence.... Like the +lunatics in Gogol's story, I'm going to be silent... silent... + +[ANDREY enters, followed by FERAPONT.] + +ANDREY. [Angrily] What do you want? I don't understand. + +FERAPONT. [At the door, impatiently] I've already told you ten times, +Andrey Sergeyevitch. + +ANDREY. In the first place I'm not Andrey Sergeyevitch, but sir. [Note: +Quite literally, "your high honour," to correspond to Andrey's rank as a +civil servant.] + +FERAPONT. The firemen, sir, ask if they can go across your garden to the +river. Else they go right round, right round; it's a nuisance. + +ANDREY. All right. Tell them it's all right. [Exit FERAPONT] I'm tired +of them. Where is Olga? [OLGA comes out from behind the screen] I came +to you for the key of the cupboard. I lost my own. You've got a little +key. [OLGA gives him the key; IRINA goes behind her screen; pause] What +a huge fire! It's going down now. Hang it all, that Ferapont made me so +angry that I talked nonsense to him.... Sir, indeed.... [A pause] Why +are you so silent, Olga? [Pause] It's time you stopped all that nonsense +and behaved as if you were properly alive.... You are here, Masha. +Irina is here, well, since we're all here, let's come to a complete +understanding, once and for all. What have you against me? What is it? + +OLGA. Please don't, Audrey dear. We'll talk to-morrow. [Excited] What an +awful night! + +ANDREY. [Much confused] Don't excite yourself. I ask you in perfect +calmness; what have you against me? Tell me straight. + +VERSHININ'S VOICE. Trum-tum-tum! + +MASHA. [Stands; loudly] Tra-ta-ta! [To OLGA] Goodbye, Olga, God bless +you. [Goes behind screen and kisses IRINA] Sleep well.... Good-bye, +Andrey. Go away now, they're tired... you can explain to-morrow.... +[Exit.] + +ANDREY. I'll only say this and go. Just now.... In the first place, +you've got something against Natasha, my wife; I've noticed it since +the very day of my marriage. Natasha is a beautiful and honest creature, +straight and honourable--that's my opinion. I love and respect my wife; +understand it, I respect her, and I insist that others should respect +her too. I repeat, she's an honest and honourable person, and all your +disapproval is simply silly... [Pause] In the second place, you seem to +be annoyed because I am not a professor, and am not engaged in study. +But I work for the zemstvo, I am a member of the district council, and +I consider my service as worthy and as high as the service of science. +I am a member of the district council, and I am proud of it, if you want +to know. [Pause] In the third place, I have still this to say... that I +have mortgaged the house without obtaining your permission.... For that +I am to blame, and ask to be forgiven. My debts led me into doing it... +thirty-five thousand... I do not play at cards any more, I stopped long +ago, but the chief thing I have to say in my defence is that you girls +receive a pension, and I don't... my wages, so to speak.... [Pause.] + +KULIGIN. [At the door] Is Masha there? [Excitedly] Where is she? It's +queer.... [Exit.] + +ANDREY. They don't hear. Natasha is a splendid, honest person. [Walks +about in silence, then stops] When I married I thought we should be +happy... all of us.... But, my God.... [Weeps] My dear, dear sisters, +don't believe me, don't believe me.... [Exit.] + +[Fire-alarm. The stage is clear.] + +IRINA. [behind her screen] Olga, who's knocking on the floor? + +OLGA. It's doctor Ivan Romanovitch. He's drunk. + +IRINA. What a restless night! [Pause] Olga! [Looks out] Did you hear? +They are taking the brigade away from us; it's going to be transferred +to some place far away. + +OLGA. It's only a rumour. + +IRINA. Then we shall be left alone.... Olga! + +OLGA. Well? + +IRINA. My dear, darling sister, I esteem, I highly value the Baron, he's +a splendid man; I'll marry him, I'll consent, only let's go to Moscow! +I implore you, let's go! There's nothing better than Moscow on earth! +Let's go, Olga, let's go! + +Curtain + + + + +ACT IV + +[The old garden at the house of the PROSOROVS. There is a long avenue +of firs, at the end of which the river can be seen. There is a forest +on the far side of the river. On the right is the terrace of the house: +bottles and tumblers are on a table here; it is evident that champagne +has just been drunk. It is midday. Every now and again passers-by walk +across the garden, from the road to the river; five soldiers go past +rapidly. CHEBUTIKIN, in a comfortable frame of mind which does not +desert him throughout the act, sits in an armchair in the garden, +waiting to be called. He wears a peaked cap and has a stick. IRINA, +KULIGIN with a cross hanging from his neck and without his moustaches, +and TUZENBACH are standing on the terrace seeing off FEDOTIK and RODE, +who are coming down into the garden; both officers are in service +uniform.] + +TUZENBACH. [Exchanges kisses with FEDOTIK] You're a good sort, we got on +so well together. [Exchanges kisses with RODE] Once again.... Good-bye, +old man! + +IRINA. Au revoir! + +FEDOTIK. It isn't au revoir, it's good-bye; we'll never meet again! + +KULIGIN. Who knows! [Wipes his eyes; smiles] Here I've started crying! + +IRINA. We'll meet again sometime. + +FEDOTIK. After ten years--or fifteen? We'll hardly know one another +then; we'll say, "How do you do?" coldly.... [Takes a snapshot] Keep +still.... Once more, for the last time. + +RODE. [Embracing TUZENBACH] We shan't meet again.... [Kisses IRINA'S +hand] Thank you for everything, for everything! + +FEDOTIK. [Grieved] Don't be in such a hurry! + +TUZENBACH. We shall meet again, if God wills it. Write to us. Be sure to +write. + +RODE. [Looking round the garden] Good-bye, trees! [Shouts] Yo-ho! +[Pause] Good-bye, echo! + +KULIGIN. Best wishes. Go and get yourselves wives there in Poland.... +Your Polish wife will clasp you and call you "kochanku!" [Note: +Darling.] [Laughs.] + +FEDOTIK. [Looking at the time] There's less than an hour left. Soleni +is the only one of our battery who is going on the barge; the rest of +us are going with the main body. Three batteries are leaving to-day, +another three to-morrow and then the town will be quiet and peaceful. + +TUZENBACH. And terribly dull. + +RODE. And where is Maria Sergeyevna? + +KULIGIN. Masha is in the garden. + +FEDOTIK. We'd like to say good-bye to her. + +RODE. Good-bye, I must go, or else I'll start weeping.... [Quickly +embraces KULIGIN and TUZENBACH, and kisses IRINA'S hand] We've been so +happy here.... + +FEDOTIK. [To KULIGIN] Here's a keepsake for you... a note-book with a +pencil.... We'll go to the river from here.... [They go aside and both +look round.] + +RODE. [Shouts] Yo-ho! + +KULIGIN. [Shouts] Good-bye! + +[At the back of the stage FEDOTIK and RODE meet MASHA; they say good-bye +and go out with her.] + +IRINA. They've gone.... [Sits on the bottom step of the terrace.] + +CHEBUTIKIN. And they forgot to say good-bye to me. + +IRINA. But why is that? + +CHEBUTIKIN. I just forgot, somehow. Though I'll soon see them again, I'm +going to-morrow. Yes... just one day left. I shall be retired in a year, +then I'll come here again, and finish my life near you. I've only one +year before I get my pension.... [Puts one newspaper into his pocket and +takes another out] I'll come here to you and change my life radically... +I'll be so quiet... so agree... agreeable, respectable.... + +IRINA. Yes, you ought to change your life, dear man, somehow or other. + +CHEBUTIKIN. Yes, I feel it. [Sings softly.] "Tarara-boom-deay...." + +KULIGIN. We won't reform Ivan Romanovitch! We won't reform him! + +CHEBUTIKIN. If only I was apprenticed to you! Then I'd reform. + +IRINA. Feodor has shaved his moustache! I can't bear to look at him. + +KULIGIN. Well, what about it? + +CHEBUTIKIN. I could tell you what your face looks like now, but it +wouldn't be polite. + +KULIGIN. Well! It's the custom, it's modus vivendi. Our Director is +clean-shaven, and so I too, when I received my inspectorship, had +my moustaches removed. Nobody likes it, but it's all one to me. I'm +satisfied. Whether I've got moustaches or not, I'm satisfied.... [Sits.] + +[At the back of the stage ANDREY is wheeling a perambulator containing a +sleeping infant.] + +IRINA. Ivan Romanovitch, be a darling. I'm awfully worried. You were out +on the boulevard last night; tell me, what happened? + +CHEBUTIKIN. What happened? Nothing. Quite a trifling matter. [Reads +paper] Of no importance! + +KULIGIN. They say that Soleni and the Baron met yesterday on the +boulevard near the theatre.... + +TUZENBACH. Stop! What right... [Waves his hand and goes into the house.] + +KULIGIN. Near the theatre... Soleni started behaving offensively to the +Baron, who lost his temper and said something nasty.... + +CHEBUTIKIN. I don't know. It's all bunkum. + +KULIGIN. At some seminary or other a master wrote "bunkum" on an essay, +and the student couldn't make the letters out--thought it was a Latin +word "luckum." [Laughs] Awfully funny, that. They say that Soleni is in +love with Irina and hates the Baron.... That's quite natural. Irina is +a very nice girl. She's even like Masha, she's so thoughtful.... Only, +Irina your character is gentler. Though Masha's character, too, is a +very good one. I'm very fond of Masha. [Shouts of "Yo-ho!" are heard +behind the stage.] + +IRINA. [Shudders] Everything seems to frighten me today. [Pause] I've +got everything ready, and I send my things off after dinner. The +Baron and I will be married to-morrow, and to-morrow we go away to +the brickworks, and the next day I go to the school, and the new life +begins. God will help me! When I took my examination for the teacher's +post, I actually wept for joy and gratitude.... [Pause] The cart will be +here in a minute for my things.... + +KULIGIN. Somehow or other, all this doesn't seem at all serious. As if +it was all ideas, and nothing really serious. Still, with all my soul I +wish you happiness. + +CHEBUTIKIN. [With deep feeling] My splendid... my dear, precious +girl.... You've gone on far ahead, I won't catch up with you. I'm left +behind like a migrant bird grown old, and unable to fly. Fly, my +dear, fly, and God be with you! [Pause] It's a pity you shaved your +moustaches, Feodor Ilitch. + +KULIGIN. Oh, drop it! [Sighs] To-day the soldiers will be gone, and +everything will go on as in the old days. Say what you will, Masha is +a good, honest woman. I love her very much, and thank my fate for her. +People have such different fates. There's a Kosirev who works in the +excise department here. He was at school with me; he was expelled +from the fifth class of the High School for being entirely unable to +understand _ut consecutivum_. He's awfully hard up now and in very +poor health, and when I meet him I say to him, "How do you do, _ut +consecutivum_." "Yes," he says, "precisely _consecutivum_..." and +coughs. But I've been successful all my life, I'm happy, and I even have +a Stanislaus Cross, of the second class, and now I myself teach others +that _ut consecutivum_. Of course, I'm a clever man, much cleverer than +many, but happiness doesn't only lie in that.... + +["The Maiden's Prayer" is being played on the piano in the house.] + +IRINA. To-morrow night I shan't hear that "Maiden's Prayer" any more, +and I shan't be meeting Protopopov.... [Pause] Protopopov is sitting +there in the drawing-room; and he came to-day... + +KULIGIN. Hasn't the head-mistress come yet? + +IRINA. No. She has been sent for. If you only knew how difficult it is +for me to live alone, without Olga.... She lives at the High School; +she, a head-mistress, busy all day with her affairs and I'm alone, +bored, with nothing to do, and hate the room I live in.... I've made +up my mind: if I can't live in Moscow, then it must come to this. It's +fate. It can't be helped. It's all the will of God, that's the truth. +Nicolai Lvovitch made me a proposal.... Well? I thought it over and made +up my mind. He's a good man... it's quite remarkable how good he is.... +And suddenly my soul put out wings, I became happy, and light-hearted, +and once again the desire for work, work, came over me.... Only +something happened yesterday, some secret dread has been hanging over +me.... + +CHEBUTIKIN. Luckum. Rubbish. + +NATASHA. [At the window] The head-mistress. + +KULIGIN. The head-mistress has come. Let's go. [Exit with IRINA into the +house.] + +CHEBUTIKIN. "It is my washing day.... Tara-ra... boom-deay." + +[MASHA approaches, ANDREY is wheeling a perambulator at the back.] + +MASHA. Here you are, sitting here, doing nothing. + +CHEBUTIKIN. What then? + +MASHA. [Sits] Nothing.... [Pause] Did you love my mother? + +CHEBUTIKIN. Very much. + +MASHA. And did she love you? + +CHEBUTIKIN. [After a pause] I don't remember that. + +MASHA. Is my man here? When our cook Martha used to ask about her +gendarme, she used to say my man. Is he here? + +CHEBUTIKIN. Not yet. + +MASHA. When you take your happiness in little bits, in snatches, and +then lose it, as I have done, you gradually get coarser, more bitter. +[Points to her bosom] I'm boiling in here.... [Looks at ANDREY with the +perambulator] There's our brother Andrey.... All our hopes in him have +gone. There was once a great bell, a thousand persons were hoisting it, +much money and labour had been spent on it, when it suddenly fell +and was broken. Suddenly, for no particular reason.... Andrey is like +that.... + +ANDREY. When are they going to stop making such a noise in the house? +It's awful. + +CHEBUTIKIN. They won't be much longer. [Looks at his watch] My watch is +very old-fashioned, it strikes the hours.... [Winds the watch and makes +it strike] The first, second, and fifth batteries are to leave at one +o'clock precisely. [Pause] And I go to-morrow. + +ANDREY. For good? + +CHEBUTIKIN. I don't know. Perhaps I'll return in a year. The devil +only knows... it's all one.... [Somewhere a harp and violin are being +played.] + +ANDREY. The town will grow empty. It will be as if they put a cover over +it. [Pause] Something happened yesterday by the theatre. The whole town +knows of it, but I don't. + +CHEBUTIKIN. Nothing. A silly little affair. Soleni started irritating +the Baron, who lost his temper and insulted him, and so at last Soleni +had to challenge him. [Looks at his watch] It's about time, I think.... +At half-past twelve, in the public wood, that one you can see from here +across the river.... Piff-paff. [Laughs] Soleni thinks he's Lermontov, +and even writes verses. That's all very well, but this is his third +duel. + +MASHA. Whose? + +CHEBUTIKIN. Soleni's. + +MASHA. And the Baron? + +CHEBUTIKIN. What about the Baron? [Pause.] + +MASHA. Everything's all muddled up in my head.... But I say it ought not +to be allowed. He might wound the Baron or even kill him. + +CHEBUTIKIN. The Baron is a good man, but one Baron more or less--what +difference does it make? It's all the same! [Beyond the garden somebody +shouts "Co-ee! Hallo! "] You wait. That's Skvortsov shouting; one of the +seconds. He's in a boat. [Pause.] + +ANDREY. In my opinion it's simply immoral to fight in a duel, or to be +present, even in the quality of a doctor. + +CHEBUTIKIN. It only seems so.... We don't exist, there's nothing on +earth, we don't really live, it only seems that we live. Does it matter, +anyway! + +MASHA. You talk and talk the whole day long. [Going] You live in +a climate like this, where it might snow any moment, and there you +talk.... [Stops] I won't go into the house, I can't go there.... Tell me +when Vershinin comes.... [Goes along the avenue] The migrant birds are +already on the wing.... [Looks up] Swans or geese.... My dear, happy +things.... [Exit.] + +ANDREY. Our house will be empty. The officers will go away, you are +going, my sister is getting married, and I alone will remain in the +house. + +CHEBUTIKIN. And your wife? + +[FERAPONT enters with some documents.] + +ANDREY. A wife's a wife. She's honest, well-bred, yes; and kind, but +with all that there is still something about her that degenerates her +into a petty, blind, even in some respects misshapen animal. In any +case, she isn't a man. I tell you as a friend, as the only man to whom I +can lay bare my soul. I love Natasha, it's true, but sometimes she seems +extraordinarily vulgar, and then I lose myself and can't understand why +I love her so much, or, at any rate, used to love her.... + +CHEBUTIKIN. [Rises] I'm going away to-morrow, old chap, and perhaps +we'll never meet again, so here's my advice. Put on your cap, take a +stick in your hand, go... go on and on, without looking round. And the +farther you go, the better. + +[SOLENI goes across the back of the stage with two officers; he catches +sight of CHEBUTIKIN, and turns to him, the officers go on.] + +SOLENI. Doctor, it's time. It's half-past twelve already. [Shakes hands +with ANDREY.] + +CHEBUTIKIN. Half a minute. I'm tired of the lot of you. [To ANDREY] If +anybody asks for me, say I'll be back soon.... [Sighs] Oh, oh, oh! + +SOLENI. "He didn't have the time to sigh. The bear sat on him heavily." +[Goes up to him] What are you groaning about, old man? + +CHEBUTIKIN. Stop it! + +SOLENI. How's your health? + +CHEBUTIKIN. [Angry] Mind your own business. + +SOLENI. The old man is unnecessarily excited. I won't go far, I'll only +just bring him down like a snipe. [Takes out his scent-bottle and scents +his hands] I've poured out a whole bottle of scent to-day and they still +smell... of a dead body. [Pause] Yes.... You remember the poem + + "But he, the rebel seeks the storm, + As if the storm will bring him rest..."? + +CHEBUTIKIN. Yes. + + "He didn't have the time to sigh, + The bear sat on him heavily." + +[Exit with SOLENI.] + +[Shouts are heard. ANDREY and FERAPONT come in.] + +FERAPONT. Documents to sign.... + +ANDREY. [Irritated]. Go away! Leave me! Please! [Goes away with the +perambulator.] + +FERAPONT. That's what documents are for, to be signed. [Retires to back +of stage.] + +[Enter IRINA, with TUZENBACH in a straw hat; KULIGIN walks across the +stage, shouting "Co-ee, Masha, co-ee!"] + +TUZENBACH. He seems to be the only man in the town who is glad that the +soldiers are going. + +IRINA. One can understand that. [Pause] The town will be empty. + +TUZENBACH. My dear, I shall return soon. + +IRINA. Where are you going? + +TUZENBACH. I must go into the town and then... see the others off. + +IRINA. It's not true... Nicolai, why are you so absentminded to-day? +[Pause] What took place by the theatre yesterday? + +TUZENBACH. [Making a movement of impatience] In an hour's time I shall +return and be with you again. [Kisses her hands] My darling... [Looking +her closely in the face] it's five years now since I fell in love with +you, and still I can't get used to it, and you seem to me to grow more +and more beautiful. What lovely, wonderful hair! What eyes! I'm going to +take you away to-morrow. We shall work, we shall be rich, my dreams will +come true. You will be happy. There's only one thing, one thing only: +you don't love me! + +IRINA. It isn't in my power! I shall be your wife, I shall be true to +you, and obedient to you, but I can't love you. What can I do! [Cries] I +have never been in love in my life. Oh, I used to think so much of love, +I have been thinking about it for so long by day and by night, but +my soul is like an expensive piano which is locked and the key lost. +[Pause] You seem so unhappy. + +TUZENBACH. I didn't sleep at night. There is nothing in my life so awful +as to be able to frighten me, only that lost key torments my soul and +does not let me sleep. Say something to me [Pause] say something to +me.... + +IRINA. What can I say, what? + +TUZENBACH. Anything. + +IRINA. Don't! don't! [Pause.] + +TUZENBACH. It is curious how silly trivial little things, sometimes +for no apparent reason, become significant. At first you laugh at these +things, you think they are of no importance, you go on and you feel that +you haven't got the strength to stop yourself. Oh don't let's talk about +it! I am happy. It is as if for the first time in my life I see these +firs, maples, beeches, and they all look at me inquisitively and wait. +What beautiful trees and how beautiful, when one comes to think of it, +life must be near them! [A shout of Co-ee! in the distance] It's time +I went.... There's a tree which has dried up but it still sways in the +breeze with the others. And so it seems to me that if I die, I shall +still take part in life in one way or another. Good-bye, dear.... +[Kisses her hands] The papers which you gave me are on my table under +the calendar. + +IRINA. I am coming with you. + +TUZENBACH. [Nervously] No, no! [He goes quickly and stops in the avenue] +Irina! + +IRINA. What is it? + +TUZENBACH. [Not knowing what to say] I haven't had any coffee to-day. +Tell them to make me some.... [He goes out quickly.] + +[IRINA stands deep in thought. Then she goes to the back of the stage +and sits on a swing. ANDREY comes in with the perambulator and FERAPONT +also appears.] + +FERAPONT. Andrey Sergeyevitch, it isn't as if the documents were mine, +they are the government's. I didn't make them. + +ANDREY. Oh, what has become of my past and where is it? I used to be +young, happy, clever, I used to be able to think and frame clever ideas, +the present and the future seemed to me full of hope. Why do we, almost +before we have begun to live, become dull, grey, uninteresting, lazy, +apathetic, useless, unhappy.... This town has already been in existence +for two hundred years and it has a hundred thousand inhabitants, not one +of whom is in any way different from the others. There has never been, +now or at any other time, a single leader of men, a single scholar, an +artist, a man of even the slightest eminence who might arouse envy or a +passionate desire to be imitated. They only eat, drink, sleep, and then +they die... more people are born and also eat, drink, sleep, and so +as not to go silly from boredom, they try to make life many-sided +with their beastly backbiting, vodka, cards, and litigation. The wives +deceive their husbands, and the husbands lie, and pretend they see +nothing and hear nothing, and the evil influence irresistibly oppresses +the children and the divine spark in them is extinguished, and they +become just as pitiful corpses and just as much like one another as +their fathers and mothers.... [Angrily to FERAPONT] What do you want? + +FERAPONT. What? Documents want signing. + +ANDREY. I'm tired of you. + +FERAPONT. [Handing him papers] The hall-porter from the law courts was +saying just now that in the winter there were two hundred degrees of +frost in Petersburg. + +ANDREY. The present is beastly, but when I think of the future, how good +it is! I feel so light, so free; there is a light in the distance, I see +freedom. I see myself and my children freeing ourselves from vanities, +from kvass, from goose baked with cabbage, from after-dinner naps, from +base idleness.... + +FERAPONT. He was saying that two thousand people were frozen to death. +The people were frightened, he said. In Petersburg or Moscow, I don't +remember which. + +ANDREY. [Overcome by a tender emotion] My dear sisters, my beautiful +sisters! [Crying] Masha, my sister.... + +NATASHA. [At the window] Who's talking so loudly out here? Is that you, +Andrey? You'll wake little Sophie. _Il ne faut pas faire du bruit, la +Sophie est dorme deja. Vous tes un ours._ [Angrily] If you want +to talk, then give the perambulator and the baby to somebody else. +Ferapont, take the perambulator! + +FERAPONT. Yes'm. [Takes the perambulator.] + +ANDREY. [Confused] I'm speaking quietly. + +NATASHA. [At the window, nursing her boy] Bobby! Naughty Bobby! Bad +little Bobby! + +ANDREY. [Looking through the papers] All right, I'll look them over and +sign if necessary, and you can take them back to the offices.... + +[Goes into house reading papers; FERAPONT takes the perambulator to the +back of the garden.] + +NATASHA. [At the window] Bobby, what's your mother's name? Dear, dear! +And who's this? That's Aunt Olga. Say to your aunt, "How do you do, +Olga!" + +[Two wandering musicians, a man and a girl, are playing on a violin and +a harp. VERSHININ, OLGA, and ANFISA come out of the house and listen for +a minute in silence; IRINA comes up to them.] + +OLGA. Our garden might be a public thoroughfare, from the way people +walk and ride across it. Nurse, give those musicians something! + +ANFISA. [Gives money to the musicians] Go away with God's blessing on +you. [The musicians bow and go away] A bitter sort of people. You don't +play on a full stomach. [To IRINA] How do you do, Arisha! [Kisses her] +Well, little girl, here I am, still alive! Still alive! In the High +School, together with little Olga, in her official apartments... so the +Lord has appointed for my old age. Sinful woman that I am, I've never +lived like that in my life before.... A large flat, government property, +and I've a whole room and bed to myself. All government property. I wake +up at nights and, oh God, and Holy Mother, there isn't a happier person +than I! + +VERSHININ. [Looks at his watch] We are going soon, Olga Sergeyevna. It's +time for me to go. [Pause] I wish you every... every.... Where's Maria +Sergeyevna? + +IRINA. She's somewhere in the garden. I'll go and look for her. + +VERSHININ. If you'll be so kind. I haven't time. + +ANFISA. I'll go and look, too. [Shouts] Little Masha, co-ee! [Goes out +with IRINA down into the garden] Co-ee, co-ee! + +VERSHININ. Everything comes to an end. And so we, too, must part. [Looks +at his watch] The town gave us a sort of farewell breakfast, we had +champagne to drink and the mayor made a speech, and I ate and listened, +but my soul was here all the time.... [Looks round the garden] I'm so +used to you now. + +OLGA. Shall we ever meet again? + +VERSHININ. Probably not. [Pause] My wife and both my daughters will stay +here another two months. If anything happens, or if anything has to be +done... + +OLGA. Yes, yes, of course. You need not worry. [Pause] To-morrow there +won't be a single soldier left in the town, it will all be a memory, +and, of course, for us a new life will begin.... [Pause] None of our +plans are coming right. I didn't want to be a head-mistress, but they +made me one, all the same. It means there's no chance of Moscow.... + +VERSHININ. Well... thank you for everything. Forgive me if I've... I've +said such an awful lot--forgive me for that too, don't think badly of +me. + +OLGA. [Wipes her eyes] Why isn't Masha coming... + +VERSHININ. What else can I say in parting? Can I philosophize about +anything? [Laughs] Life is heavy. To many of us it seems dull and +hopeless, but still, it must be acknowledged that it is getting lighter +and clearer, and it seems that the time is not far off when it will be +quite clear. [Looks at his watch] It's time I went! Mankind used to +be absorbed in wars, and all its existence was filled with campaigns, +attacks, defeats, now we've outlived all that, leaving after us a great +waste place, which there is nothing to fill with at present; but mankind +is looking for something, and will certainly find it. Oh, if it only +happened more quickly. [Pause] If only education could be added to +industry, and industry to education. [Looks at his watch] It's time I +went.... + +OLGA. Here she comes. + +[Enter MASHA.] + +VERSHININ. I came to say good-bye.... + +[OLGA steps aside a little, so as not to be in their way.] + +MASHA. [Looking him in the face] Good-bye. [Prolonged kiss.] + +OLGA. Don't, don't. [MASHA is crying bitterly] + +VERSHININ. Write to me.... Don't forget! Let me go.... It's time. Take +her, Olga Sergeyevna... it's time... I'm late... + +[He kisses OLGA'S hand in evident emotion, then embraces MASHA once more +and goes out quickly.] + +OLGA. Don't, Masha! Stop, dear.... [KULIGIN enters.] + +KULIGIN. [Confused] Never mind, let her cry, let her.... My dear Masha, +my good Masha.... You're my wife, and I'm happy, whatever happens... I'm +not complaining, I don't reproach you at all.... Olga is a witness to +it. Let's begin to live again as we used to, and not by a single word, +or hint... + +MASHA. [Restraining her sobs] "There stands a green oak by the sea, + And a chain of bright gold is around it.... + And a chain of bright gold is around it...." + +I'm going off my head... "There stands... a green oak... by the sea."... + +OLGA. Don't, Masha, don't... give her some water.... + +MASHA. I'm not crying any more.... + +KULIGIN. She's not crying any more... she's a good... [A shot is heard +from a distance.] + +MASHA. "There stands a green oak by the sea, + And a chain of bright gold is around it... + An oak of green gold...." + +I'm mixing it up.... [Drinks some water] Life is dull... I don't want +anything more now... I'll be all right in a moment.... It doesn't +matter.... What do those lines mean? Why do they run in my head? My +thoughts are all tangled. + +[IRINA enters.] + +OLGA. Be quiet, Masha. There's a good girl.... Let's go in. + +MASHA. [Angrily] I shan't go in there. [Sobs, but controls herself at +once] I'm not going to go into the house, I won't go.... + +IRINA. Let's sit here together and say nothing. I'm going away +to-morrow.... [Pause.] + +KULIGIN. Yesterday I took away these whiskers and this beard from a boy +in the third class.... [He puts on the whiskers and beard] Don't I look +like the German master.... [Laughs] Don't I? The boys are amusing. + +MASHA. You really do look like that German of yours. + +OLGA. [Laughs] Yes. [MASHA weeps.] + +IRINA. Don't, Masha! + +KULIGIN. It's a very good likeness.... + +[Enter NATASHA.] + +NATASHA. [To the maid] What? Mihail Ivanitch Protopopov will sit with +little Sophie, and Andrey Sergeyevitch can take little Bobby out. +Children are such a bother.... [To IRINA] Irina, it's such a pity you're +going away to-morrow. Do stop just another week. [Sees KULIGIN and +screams; he laughs and takes off his beard and whiskers] How you +frightened me! [To IRINA] I've grown used to you and do you think it +will be easy for me to part from you? I'm going to have Andrey and his +violin put into your room--let him fiddle away in there!--and we'll put +little Sophie into his room. The beautiful, lovely child! What a little +girlie! To-day she looked at me with such pretty eyes and said "Mamma!" + +KULIGIN. A beautiful child, it's quite true. + +NATASHA. That means I shall have the place to myself to-morrow. [Sighs] +In the first place I shall have that avenue of fir-trees cut down, then +that maple. It's so ugly at nights.... [To IRINA] That belt doesn't suit +you at all, dear.... It's an error of taste. And I'll give orders to +have lots and lots of little flowers planted here, and they'll smell.... +[Severely] Why is there a fork lying about here on the seat? [Going +towards the house, to the maid] Why is there a fork lying about here on +the seat, I say? [Shouts] Don't you dare to answer me! + +KULIGIN. Temper! temper! [A march is played off; they all listen.] + +OLGA. They're going. + +[CHEBUTIKIN comes in.] + +MASHA. They're going. Well, well.... Bon voyage! [To her husband] We +must be going home.... Where's my coat and hat? + +KULIGIN. I took them in... I'll bring them, in a moment. + +OLGA. Yes, now we can all go home. It's time. + +CHEBUTIKIN. Olga Sergeyevna! + +OLGA. What is it? [Pause] What is it? + +CHEBUTIKIN. Nothing... I don't know how to tell you.... [Whispers to +her.] + +OLGA. [Frightened] It can't be true! + +CHEBUTIKIN. Yes... such a story... I'm tired out, exhausted, I won't say +any more.... [Sadly] Still, it's all the same! + +MASHA. What's happened? + +OLGA. [Embraces IRINA] This is a terrible day... I don't know how to +tell you, dear.... + +IRINA. What is it? Tell me quickly, what is it? For God's sake! [Cries.] + +CHEBUTIKIN. The Baron was killed in the duel just now. + +IRINA. [Cries softly] I knew it, I knew it.... + +CHEBUTIKIN. [Sits on a bench at the back of the stage] I'm tired.... +[Takes a paper from his pocket] Let 'em cry.... [Sings softly] +"Tarara-boom-deay, it is my washing day...." Isn't it all the same! + +[The three sisters are standing, pressing against one another.] + +MASHA. Oh, how the music plays! They are leaving us, one has quite left +us, quite and for ever. We remain alone, to begin our life over again. +We must live... we must live.... + +IRINA. [Puts her head on OLGA's bosom] There will come a time when +everybody will know why, for what purpose, there is all this suffering, +and there will be no more mysteries. But now we must live... we must +work, just work! To-morrow, I'll go away alone, and I'll teach and give +my whole life to those who, perhaps, need it. It's autumn now, soon it +will be winter, the snow will cover everything, and I shall be working, +working.... + +OLGA. [Embraces both her sisters] The bands are playing so gaily, so +bravely, and one does so want to live! Oh, my God! Time will pass on, +and we shall depart for ever, we shall be forgotten; they will +forget our faces, voices, and even how many there were of us, but +our sufferings will turn into joy for those who will live after us, +happiness and peace will reign on earth, and people will remember with +kindly words, and bless those who are living now. Oh dear sisters, our +life is not yet at an end. Let us live. The music is so gay, so joyful, +and, it seems that in a little while we shall know why we are living, +why we are suffering.... If we could only know, if we could only know! + +[The music has been growing softer and softer; KULIGIN, smiling happily, +brings out the hat and coat; ANDREY wheels out the perambulator in which +BOBBY is sitting.] + +CHEBUTIKIN. [Sings softly] "Tara... ra-boom-deay.... It is my +washing-day."... [Reads a paper] It's all the same! It's all the same! + +OLGA. If only we could know, if only we could know! + +Curtain. + + + + +THE CHERRY ORCHARD + +A COMEDY IN FOUR ACTS + + +CHARACTERS + + LUBOV ANDREYEVNA RANEVSKY (Mme. RANEVSKY), a landowner + ANYA, her daughter, aged seventeen + VARYA (BARBARA), her adopted daughter, aged twenty-seven + LEONID ANDREYEVITCH GAEV, Mme. Ranevsky's brother + ERMOLAI ALEXEYEVITCH LOPAKHIN, a merchant + PETER SERGEYEVITCH TROFIMOV, a student + BORIS BORISOVITCH SIMEONOV-PISCHIN, a landowner + CHARLOTTA IVANOVNA, a governess + SIMEON PANTELEYEVITCH EPIKHODOV, a clerk + DUNYASHA (AVDOTYA FEDOROVNA), a maidservant + FIERS, an old footman, aged eighty-seven + YASHA, a young footman + A TRAMP + A STATION-MASTER + POST-OFFICE CLERK + GUESTS + A SERVANT + +The action takes place on Mme. RANEVSKY'S estate + + + + +ACT ONE + + +[A room which is still called the nursery. One of the doors leads into +ANYA'S room. It is close on sunrise. It is May. The cherry-trees are +in flower but it is chilly in the garden. There is an early frost. +The windows of the room are shut. DUNYASHA comes in with a candle, and +LOPAKHIN with a book in his hand.] + +LOPAKHIN. The train's arrived, thank God. What's the time? + +DUNYASHA. It will soon be two. [Blows out candle] It is light already. + +LOPAKHIN. How much was the train late? Two hours at least. [Yawns and +stretches himself] I have made a rotten mess of it! I came here on +purpose to meet them at the station, and then overslept myself... in my +chair. It's a pity. I wish you'd wakened me. + +DUNYASHA. I thought you'd gone away. [Listening] I think I hear them +coming. + +LOPAKHIN. [Listens] No.... They've got to collect their luggage and so +on.... [Pause] Lubov Andreyevna has been living abroad for five years; +I don't know what she'll be like now.... She's a good sort--an easy, +simple person. I remember when I was a boy of fifteen, my father, who +is dead--he used to keep a shop in the village here--hit me on the face +with his fist, and my nose bled.... We had gone into the yard together +for something or other, and he was a little drunk. Lubov Andreyevna, as +I remember her now, was still young, and very thin, and she took me to +the washstand here in this very room, the nursery. She said, "Don't +cry, little man, it'll be all right in time for your wedding." [Pause] +"Little man".... My father was a peasant, it's true, but here I am in a +white waistcoat and yellow shoes... a pearl out of an oyster. I'm rich +now, with lots of money, but just think about it and examine me, and +you'll find I'm still a peasant down to the marrow of my bones. [Turns +over the pages of his book] Here I've been reading this book, but I +understood nothing. I read and fell asleep. [Pause.] + +DUNYASHA. The dogs didn't sleep all night; they know that they're +coming. + +LOPAKHIN. What's up with you, Dunyasha...? + +DUNYASHA. My hands are shaking. I shall faint. + +LOPAKHIN. You're too sensitive, Dunyasha. You dress just like a lady, +and you do your hair like one too. You oughtn't. You should know your +place. + +EPIKHODOV. [Enters with a bouquet. He wears a short jacket and +brilliantly polished boots which squeak audibly. He drops the bouquet as +he enters, then picks it up] The gardener sent these; says they're to go +into the dining-room. [Gives the bouquet to DUNYASHA.] + +LOPAKHIN. And you'll bring me some kvass. + +DUNYASHA. Very well. [Exit.] + +EPIKHODOV. There's a frost this morning--three degrees, and the +cherry-trees are all in flower. I can't approve of our climate. [Sighs] +I can't. Our climate is indisposed to favour us even this once. And, +Ermolai Alexeyevitch, allow me to say to you, in addition, that I bought +myself some boots two days ago, and I beg to assure you that they squeak +in a perfectly unbearable manner. What shall I put on them? + +LOPAKHIN. Go away. You bore me. + +EPIKHODOV. Some misfortune happens to me every day. But I don't +complain; I'm used to it, and I can smile. [DUNYASHA comes in and +brings LOPAKHIN some kvass] I shall go. [Knocks over a chair] There.... +[Triumphantly] There, you see, if I may use the word, what circumstances +I am in, so to speak. It is even simply marvellous. [Exit.] + +DUNYASHA. I may confess to you, Ermolai Alexeyevitch, that Epikhodov has +proposed to me. + +LOPAKHIN. Ah! + +DUNYASHA. I don't know what to do about it. He's a nice young man, but +every now and again, when he begins talking, you can't understand a word +he's saying. I think I like him. He's madly in love with me. He's an +unlucky man; every day something happens. We tease him about it. They +call him "Two-and-twenty troubles." + +LOPAKHIN. [Listens] There they come, I think. + +DUNYASHA. They're coming! What's the matter with me? I'm cold all over. + +LOPAKHIN. There they are, right enough. Let's go and meet them. Will she +know me? We haven't seen each other for five years. + +DUNYASHA. [Excited] I shall faint in a minute.... Oh, I'm fainting! + +[Two carriages are heard driving up to the house. LOPAKHIN and DUNYASHA +quickly go out. The stage is empty. A noise begins in the next room. +FIERS, leaning on a stick, walks quickly across the stage; he has just +been to meet LUBOV ANDREYEVNA. He wears an old-fashioned livery and a +tall hat. He is saying something to himself, but not a word of it can be +made out. The noise behind the stage gets louder and louder. A voice is +heard: "Let's go in there." Enter LUBOV ANDREYEVNA, ANYA, and CHARLOTTA +IVANOVNA with a little dog on a chain, and all dressed in travelling +clothes, VARYA in a long coat and with a kerchief on her head. GAEV, +SIMEONOV-PISCHIN, LOPAKHIN, DUNYASHA with a parcel and an umbrella, and +a servant with luggage--all cross the room.] + +ANYA. Let's come through here. Do you remember what this room is, +mother? + +LUBOV. [Joyfully, through her tears] The nursery! + +VARYA. How cold it is! My hands are quite numb. [To LUBOV ANDREYEVNA] +Your rooms, the white one and the violet one, are just as they used to +be, mother. + +LUBOV. My dear nursery, oh, you beautiful room.... I used to sleep +here when I was a baby. [Weeps] And here I am like a little girl again. +[Kisses her brother, VARYA, then her brother again] And Varya is just as +she used to be, just like a nun. And I knew Dunyasha. [Kisses her.] + +GAEV. The train was two hours late. There now; how's that for +punctuality? + +CHARLOTTA. [To PISCHIN] My dog eats nuts too. + +PISCHIN. [Astonished] To think of that, now! + +[All go out except ANYA and DUNYASHA.] + +DUNYASHA. We did have to wait for you! + +[Takes off ANYA'S cloak and hat.] + +ANYA. I didn't get any sleep for four nights on the journey.... I'm +awfully cold. + +DUNYASHA. You went away during Lent, when it was snowing and frosty, but +now? Darling! [Laughs and kisses her] We did have to wait for you, my +joy, my pet.... I must tell you at once, I can't bear to wait a minute. + +ANYA. [Tired] Something else now...? + +DUNYASHA. The clerk, Epikhodov, proposed to me after Easter. + +ANYA. Always the same.... [Puts her hair straight] I've lost all my +hairpins.... [She is very tired, and even staggers as she walks.] + +DUNYASHA. I don't know what to think about it. He loves me, he loves me +so much! + +ANYA. [Looks into her room; in a gentle voice] My room, my windows, as +if I'd never gone away. I'm at home! To-morrow morning I'll get up and +have a run in the garden....Oh, if I could only get to sleep! I didn't +sleep the whole journey, I was so bothered. + +DUNYASHA. Peter Sergeyevitch came two days ago. + +ANYA. [Joyfully] Peter! + +DUNYASHA. He sleeps in the bath-house, he lives there. He said he was +afraid he'd be in the way. [Looks at her pocket-watch] I ought to wake +him, but Barbara Mihailovna told me not to. "Don't wake him," she said. + +[Enter VARYA, a bunch of keys on her belt.] + +VARYA. Dunyasha, some coffee, quick. Mother wants some. + +DUNYASHA. This minute. [Exit.] + +VARYA. Well, you've come, glory be to God. Home again. [Caressing her] +My darling is back again! My pretty one is back again! + +ANYA. I did have an awful time, I tell you. + +VARYA. I can just imagine it! + +ANYA. I went away in Holy Week; it was very cold then. Charlotta talked +the whole way and would go on performing her tricks. Why did you tie +Charlotta on to me? + +VARYA. You couldn't go alone, darling, at seventeen! + +ANYA. We went to Paris; it's cold there and snowing. I talk French +perfectly horribly. My mother lives on the fifth floor. I go to her, and +find her there with various Frenchmen, women, an old abb with a book, +and everything in tobacco smoke and with no comfort at all. I suddenly +became very sorry for mother--so sorry that I took her head in my arms +and hugged her and wouldn't let her go. Then mother started hugging me +and crying.... + +VARYA. [Weeping] Don't say any more, don't say any more.... + +ANYA. She's already sold her villa near Mentone; she's nothing left, +nothing. And I haven't a copeck left either; we only just managed to get +here. And mother won't understand! We had dinner at a station; she asked +for all the expensive things, and tipped the waiters one rouble each. +And Charlotta too. Yasha wants his share too--it's too bad. Mother's got +a footman now, Yasha; we've brought him here. + +VARYA. I saw the wretch. + +ANYA. How's business? Has the interest been paid? + +VARYA. Not much chance of that. + +ANYA. Oh God, oh God... + +VARYA. The place will be sold in August. + +ANYA. O God.... + +LOPAKHIN. [Looks in at the door and moos] Moo!... [Exit.] + +VARYA. [Through her tears] I'd like to.... [Shakes her fist.] + +ANYA. [Embraces VARYA, softly] Varya, has he proposed to you? [VARYA +shakes head] But he loves you.... Why don't you make up your minds? Why +do you keep on waiting? + +VARYA. I think that it will all come to nothing. He's a busy man. I'm +not his affair... he pays no attention to me. Bless the man, I don't +want to see him.... But everybody talks about our marriage, everybody +congratulates me, and there's nothing in it at all, it's all like a +dream. [In another tone] You've got a brooch like a bee. + +ANYA. [Sadly] Mother bought it. [Goes into her room, and talks lightly, +like a child] In Paris I went up in a balloon! + +VARYA. My darling's come back, my pretty one's come back! [DUNYASHA has +already returned with the coffee-pot and is making the coffee, VARYA +stands near the door] I go about all day, looking after the house, and +I think all the time, if only you could marry a rich man, then I'd be +happy and would go away somewhere by myself, then to Kiev... to Moscow, +and so on, from one holy place to another. I'd tramp and tramp. That +would be splendid! + +ANYA. The birds are singing in the garden. What time is it now? + +VARYA. It must be getting on for three. Time you went to sleep, darling. +[Goes into ANYA'S room] Splendid! + +[Enter YASHA with a plaid shawl and a travelling bag.] + +YASHA. [Crossing the stage: Politely] May I go this way? + +DUNYASHA. I hardly knew you, Yasha. You have changed abroad. + +YASHA. Hm... and who are you? + +DUNYASHA. When you went away I was only so high. [Showing with her hand] +I'm Dunyasha, the daughter of Theodore Kozoyedov. You don't remember! + +YASHA. Oh, you little cucumber! + +[Looks round and embraces her. She screams and drops a saucer. YASHA +goes out quickly.] + +VARYA. [In the doorway: In an angry voice] What's that? + +DUNYASHA. [Through her tears] I've broken a saucer. + +VARYA. It may bring luck. + +ANYA. [Coming out of her room] We must tell mother that Peter's here. + +VARYA. I told them not to wake him. + +ANYA. [Thoughtfully] Father died six years ago, and a month later my +brother Grisha was drowned in the river--such a dear little boy of +seven! Mother couldn't bear it; she went away, away, without looking +round.... [Shudders] How I understand her; if only she knew! [Pause] And +Peter Trofimov was Grisha's tutor, he might tell her.... + +[Enter FIERS in a short jacket and white waistcoat.] + +FIERS. [Goes to the coffee-pot, nervously] The mistress is going to +have some food here.... [Puts on white gloves] Is the coffee ready? [To +DUNYASHA, severely] You! Where's the cream? + +DUNYASHA. Oh, dear me...! [Rapid exit.] + +FIERS. [Fussing round the coffee-pot] Oh, you bungler.... [Murmurs +to himself] Back from Paris... the master went to Paris once... in a +carriage.... [Laughs.] + +VARYA. What are you talking about, Fiers? + +FIERS. I beg your pardon? [Joyfully] The mistress is home again. I've +lived to see her! Don't care if I die now.... [Weeps with joy.] + +[Enter LUBOV ANDREYEVNA, GAEV, LOPAKHIN, and SIMEONOV-PISCHIN, the +latter in a long jacket of thin cloth and loose trousers. GAEV, coming +in, moves his arms and body about as if he is playing billiards.] + +LUBOV. Let me remember now. Red into the corner! Twice into the centre! + +GAEV. Right into the pocket! Once upon a time you and I used both to +sleep in this room, and now I'm fifty-one; it does seem strange. + +LOPAKHIN. Yes, time does go. + +GAEV. Who does? + +LOPAKHIN. I said that time does go. + +GAEV. It smells of patchouli here. + +ANYA. I'm going to bed. Good-night, mother. [Kisses her.] + +LUBOV. My lovely little one. [Kisses her hand] Glad to be at home? I +can't get over it. + +ANYA. Good-night, uncle. + +GAEV. [Kisses her face and hands] God be with you. How you do resemble +your mother! [To his sister] You were just like her at her age, Luba. + +[ANYA gives her hand to LOPAKHIN and PISCHIN and goes out, shutting the +door behind her.] + +LUBOV. She's awfully tired. + +PISCHIN. It's a very long journey. + +VARYA. [To LOPAKHIN and PISCHIN] Well, sirs, it's getting on for three, +quite time you went. + +LUBOV. [Laughs] You're just the same as ever, Varya. [Draws her close +and kisses her] I'll have some coffee now, then we'll all go. [FIERS +lays a cushion under her feet] Thank you, dear. I'm used to coffee. I +drink it day and night. Thank you, dear old man. [Kisses FIERS.] + +VARYA. I'll go and see if they've brought in all the luggage. [Exit.] + +LUBOV. Is it really I who am sitting here? [Laughs] I want to jump +about and wave my arms. [Covers her face with her hands] But suppose I'm +dreaming! God knows I love my own country, I love it deeply; I couldn't +look out of the railway carriage, I cried so much. [Through her tears] +Still, I must have my coffee. Thank you, Fiers. Thank you, dear old man. +I'm so glad you're still with us. + +FIERS. The day before yesterday. + +GAEV. He doesn't hear well. + +LOPAKHIN. I've got to go off to Kharkov by the five o'clock train. I'm +awfully sorry! I should like to have a look at you, to gossip a little. +You're as fine-looking as ever. + +PISCHIN. [Breathes heavily] Even finer-looking... dressed in Paris +fashions... confound it all. + +LOPAKHIN. Your brother, Leonid Andreyevitch, says I'm a snob, a usurer, +but that is absolutely nothing to me. Let him talk. Only I do wish you +would believe in me as you once did, that your wonderful, touching eyes +would look at me as they did before. Merciful God! My father was the +serf of your grandfather and your own father, but you--you more than +anybody else--did so much for me once upon a time that I've forgotten +everything and love you as if you belonged to my family... and even +more. + +LUBOV. I can't sit still, I'm not in a state to do it. [Jumps up and +walks about in great excitement] I'll never survive this happiness.... +You can laugh at me; I'm a silly woman.... My dear little cupboard. +[Kisses cupboard] My little table. + +GAEV. Nurse has died in your absence. + +LUBOV. [Sits and drinks coffee] Yes, bless her soul. I heard by letter. + +GAEV. And Anastasius has died too. Peter Kosoy has left me and now lives +in town with the Commissioner of Police. [Takes a box of sugar-candy out +of his pocket and sucks a piece.] + +PISCHIN. My daughter, Dashenka, sends her love. + +LOPAKHIN. I want to say something very pleasant, very delightful, to +you. [Looks at his watch] I'm going away at once, I haven't much time... +but I'll tell you all about it in two or three words. As you already +know, your cherry orchard is to be sold to pay your debts, and the sale +is fixed for August 22; but you needn't be alarmed, dear madam, you +may sleep in peace; there's a way out. Here's my plan. Please attend +carefully! Your estate is only thirteen miles from the town, the railway +runs by, and if the cherry orchard and the land by the river are broken +up into building lots and are then leased off for villas you'll get at +least twenty-five thousand roubles a year profit out of it. + +GAEV. How utterly absurd! + +LUBOV. I don't understand you at all, Ermolai Alexeyevitch. + +LOPAKHIN. You will get twenty-five roubles a year for each dessiatin +from the leaseholders at the very least, and if you advertise now I'm +willing to bet that you won't have a vacant plot left by the autumn; +they'll all go. In a word, you're saved. I congratulate you. Only, +of course, you'll have to put things straight, and clean up.... For +instance, you'll have to pull down all the old buildings, this house, +which isn't any use to anybody now, and cut down the old cherry +orchard.... + +LUBOV. Cut it down? My dear man, you must excuse me, but you don't +understand anything at all. If there's anything interesting or +remarkable in the whole province, it's this cherry orchard of ours. + +LOPAKHIN. The only remarkable thing about the orchard is that it's very +large. It only bears fruit every other year, and even then you don't +know what to do with them; nobody buys any. + +GAEV. This orchard is mentioned in the "Encyclopaedic Dictionary." + +LOPAKHIN. [Looks at his watch] If we can't think of anything and don't +make up our minds to anything, then on August 22, both the cherry +orchard and the whole estate will be up for auction. Make up your mind! +I swear there's no other way out, I'll swear it again. + +FIERS. In the old days, forty or fifty years back, they dried the +cherries, soaked them and pickled them, and made jam of them, and it +used to happen that... + +GAEV. Be quiet, Fiers. + +FIERS. And then we'd send the dried cherries off in carts to Moscow and +Kharkov. And money! And the dried cherries were soft, juicy, sweet, and +nicely scented.... They knew the way.... + +LUBOV. What was the way? + +FIERS. They've forgotten. Nobody remembers. + +PISCHIN. [To LUBOV ANDREYEVNA] What about Paris? Eh? Did you eat frogs? + +LUBOV. I ate crocodiles. + +PISCHIN. To think of that, now. + +LOPAKHIN. Up to now in the villages there were only the gentry and the +labourers, and now the people who live in villas have arrived. All towns +now, even small ones, are surrounded by villas. And it's safe to say +that in twenty years' time the villa resident will be all over the +place. At present he sits on his balcony and drinks tea, but it may well +come to pass that he'll begin to cultivate his patch of land, and then +your cherry orchard will be happy, rich, splendid.... + +GAEV. [Angry] What rot! + +[Enter VARYA and YASHA.] + +VARYA. There are two telegrams for you, little mother. [Picks out a key +and noisily unlocks an antique cupboard] Here they are. + +LUBOV. They're from Paris.... [Tears them up without reading them] I've +done with Paris. + +GAEV. And do you know, Luba, how old this case is? A week ago I took out +the bottom drawer; I looked and saw figures burnt out in it. That case +was made exactly a hundred years ago. What do you think of that? What? +We could celebrate its jubilee. It hasn't a soul of its own, but still, +say what you will, it's a fine bookcase. + +PISCHIN. [Astonished] A hundred years.... Think of that! + +GAEV. Yes... it's a real thing. [Handling it] My dear and honoured case! +I congratulate you on your existence, which has already for more than +a hundred years been directed towards the bright ideals of good and +justice; your silent call to productive labour has not grown less in the +hundred years [Weeping] during which you have upheld virtue and faith +in a better future to the generations of our race, educating us up +to ideals of goodness and to the knowledge of a common consciousness. +[Pause.] + +LOPAKHIN. Yes.... + +LUBOV. You're just the same as ever, Leon. + +GAEV. [A little confused] Off the white on the right, into the corner +pocket. Red ball goes into the middle pocket! + +LOPAKHIN. [Looks at his watch] It's time I went. + +YASHA. [Giving LUBOV ANDREYEVNA her medicine] Will you take your pills +now? + +PISCHIN. You oughtn't to take medicines, dear madam; they do you neither +harm nor good.... Give them here, dear madam. [Takes the pills, turns +them out into the palm of his hand, blows on them, puts them into his +mouth, and drinks some kvass] There! + +LUBOV. [Frightened] You're off your head! + +PISCHIN. I've taken all the pills. + +LOPAKHIN. Gormandizer! [All laugh.] + +FIERS. They were here in Easter week and ate half a pailful of +cucumbers.... [Mumbles.] + +LUBOV. What's he driving at? + +VARYA. He's been mumbling away for three years. We're used to that. + +YASHA. Senile decay. + +[CHARLOTTA IVANOVNA crosses the stage, dressed in white: she is very +thin and tightly laced; has a lorgnette at her waist.] + +LOPAKHIN. Excuse me, Charlotta Ivanovna, I haven't said "How do you do" +to you yet. [Tries to kiss her hand.] + +CHARLOTTA. [Takes her hand away] If you let people kiss your hand, then +they'll want your elbow, then your shoulder, and then... + +LOPAKHIN. My luck's out to-day! [All laugh] Show us a trick, Charlotta +Ivanovna! + +LUBOV ANDREYEVNA. Charlotta, do us a trick. + +CHARLOTTA. It's not necessary. I want to go to bed. [Exit.] + +LOPAKHIN. We shall see each other in three weeks. [Kisses LUBOV +ANDREYEVNA'S hand] Now, good-bye. It's time to go. [To GAEV] See you +again. [Kisses PISCHIN] Au revoir. [Gives his hand to VARYA, then to +FIERS and to YASHA] I don't want to go away. [To LUBOV ANDREYEVNA]. If +you think about the villas and make up your mind, then just let me +know, and I'll raise a loan of 50,000 roubles at once. Think about it +seriously. + +VARYA. [Angrily] Do go, now! + +LOPAKHIN. I'm going, I'm going.... [Exit.] + +GAEV. Snob. Still, I beg pardon.... Varya's going to marry him, he's +Varya's young man. + +VARYA. Don't talk too much, uncle. + +LUBOV. Why not, Varya? I should be very glad. He's a good man. + +PISCHIN. To speak the honest truth... he's a worthy man.... And my +Dashenka... also says that... she says lots of things. [Snores, but +wakes up again at once] But still, dear madam, if you could lend me... +240 roubles... to pay the interest on my mortgage to-morrow... + +VARYA. [Frightened] We haven't got it, we haven't got it! + +LUBOV. It's quite true. I've nothing at all. + +PISCHIN. I'll find it all right [Laughs] I never lose hope. I used to +think, "Everything's lost now. I'm a dead man," when, lo and behold, a +railway was built over my land... and they paid me for it. And something +else will happen to-day or to-morrow. Dashenka may win 20,000 roubles... +she's got a lottery ticket. + +LUBOV. The coffee's all gone, we can go to bed. + +FIERS. [Brushing GAEV'S trousers; in an insistent tone] You've put on +the wrong trousers again. What am I to do with you? + +VARYA. [Quietly] Anya's asleep. [Opens window quietly] The sun has risen +already; it isn't cold. Look, little mother: what lovely trees! And the +air! The starlings are singing! + +GAEV. [Opens the other window] The whole garden's white. You haven't +forgotten, Luba? There's that long avenue going straight, straight, like +a stretched strap; it shines on moonlight nights. Do you remember? You +haven't forgotten? + +LUBOV. [Looks out into the garden] Oh, my childhood, days of my +innocence! In this nursery I used to sleep; I used to look out from here +into the orchard. Happiness used to wake with me every morning, and then +it was just as it is now; nothing has changed. [Laughs from joy] It's +all, all white! Oh, my orchard! After the dark autumns and the cold +winters, you're young again, full of happiness, the angels of heaven +haven't left you.... If only I could take my heavy burden off my breast +and shoulders, if I could forget my past! + +GAEV. Yes, and they'll sell this orchard to pay off debts. How strange +it seems! + +LUBOV. Look, there's my dead mother going in the orchard... dressed in +white! [Laughs from joy] That's she. + +GAEV. Where? + +VARYA. God bless you, little mother. + +LUBOV. There's nobody there; I thought I saw somebody. On the right, at +the turning by the summer-house, a white little tree bent down, looking +just like a woman. [Enter TROFIMOV in a worn student uniform and +spectacles] What a marvellous garden! White masses of flowers, the blue +sky.... + +TROFIMOV. Lubov Andreyevna! [She looks round at him] I only want to show +myself, and I'll go away. [Kisses her hand warmly] I was told to wait +till the morning, but I didn't have the patience. + +[LUBOV ANDREYEVNA looks surprised.] + +VARYA. [Crying] It's Peter Trofimov. + +TROFIMOV. Peter Trofimov, once the tutor of your Grisha.... Have I +changed so much? + +[LUBOV ANDREYEVNA embraces him and cries softly.] + +GAEV. [Confused] That's enough, that's enough, Luba. + +VARYA. [Weeps] But I told you, Peter, to wait till to-morrow. + +LUBOV. My Grisha... my boy... Grisha... my son. + +VARYA. What are we to do, little mother? It's the will of God. + +TROFIMOV. [Softly, through his tears] It's all right, it's all right. + +LUBOV. [Still weeping] My boy's dead; he was drowned. Why? Why, my +friend? [Softly] Anya's asleep in there. I am speaking so loudly, making +such a noise.... Well, Peter? What's made you look so bad? Why have you +grown so old? + +TROFIMOV. In the train an old woman called me a decayed gentleman. + +LUBOV. You were quite a boy then, a nice little student, and now your +hair is not at all thick and you wear spectacles. Are you really still a +student? [Goes to the door.] + +TROFIMOV. I suppose I shall always be a student. + +LUBOV. [Kisses her brother, then VARYA] Well, let's go to bed.... And +you've grown older, Leonid. + +PISCHIN. [Follows her] Yes, we've got to go to bed.... Oh, my gout! I'll +stay the night here. If only, Lubov Andreyevna, my dear, you could get +me 240 roubles to-morrow morning-- + +GAEV. Still the same story. + +PISCHIN. Two hundred and forty roubles... to pay the interest on the +mortgage. + +LUBOV. I haven't any money, dear man. + +PISCHIN. I'll give it back... it's a small sum.... + +LUBOV. Well, then, Leonid will give it to you.... Let him have it, +Leonid. + +GAEV. By all means; hold out your hand. + +LUBOV. Why not? He wants it; he'll give it back. + +[LUBOV ANDREYEVNA, TROFIMOV, PISCHIN, and FIERS go out. GAEV, VARYA, and +YASHA remain.] + +GAEV. My sister hasn't lost the habit of throwing money about. [To +YASHA] Stand off, do; you smell of poultry. + +YASHA. [Grins] You are just the same as ever, Leonid Andreyevitch. + +GAEV. Really? [To VARYA] What's he saying? + +VARYA. [To YASHA] Your mother's come from the village; she's been +sitting in the servants' room since yesterday, and wants to see you.... + +YASHA. Bless the woman! + +VARYA. Shameless man. + +YASHA. A lot of use there is in her coming. She might have come tomorrow +just as well. [Exit.] + +VARYA. Mother hasn't altered a scrap, she's just as she always was. +She'd give away everything, if the idea only entered her head. + +GAEV. Yes.... [Pause] If there's any illness for which people offer many +remedies, you may be sure that particular illness is incurable, I think. +I work my brains to their hardest. I've several remedies, very many, +and that really means I've none at all. It would be nice to inherit a +fortune from somebody, it would be nice to marry our Anya to a rich +man, it would be nice to go to Yaroslav and try my luck with my aunt the +Countess. My aunt is very, very rich. + +VARYA. [Weeps] If only God helped us. + +GAEV. Don't cry. My aunt's very rich, but she doesn't like us. My +sister, in the first place, married an advocate, not a noble.... [ANYA +appears in the doorway] She not only married a man who was not a noble, +but she behaved herself in a way which cannot be described as proper. +She's nice and kind and charming, and I'm very fond of her, but say what +you will in her favour and you still have to admit that she's wicked; +you can feel it in her slightest movements. + +VARYA. [Whispers] Anya's in the doorway. + +GAEV. Really? [Pause] It's curious, something's got into my right eye... +I can't see properly out of it. And on Thursday, when I was at the +District Court... + +[Enter ANYA.] + +VARYA. Why aren't you in bed, Anya? + +ANYA. Can't sleep. It's no good. + +GAEV. My darling! [Kisses ANYA'S face and hands] My child.... [Crying] +You're not my niece, you're my angel, you're my all.... Believe in me, +believe... + +ANYA. I do believe in you, uncle. Everybody loves you and respects +you... but, uncle dear, you ought to say nothing, no more than that. +What were you saying just now about my mother, your own sister? Why did +you say those things? + +GAEV. Yes, yes. [Covers his face with her hand] Yes, really, it was +awful. Save me, my God! And only just now I made a speech before a +bookcase... it's so silly! And only when I'd finished I knew how silly +it was. + +VARYA. Yes, uncle dear, you really ought to say less. Keep quiet, that's +all. + +ANYA. You'd be so much happier in yourself if you only kept quiet. + +GAEV. All right, I'll be quiet. [Kisses their hands] I'll be quiet. But +let's talk business. On Thursday I was in the District Court, and a lot +of us met there together, and we began to talk of this, that, and the +other, and now I think I can arrange a loan to pay the interest into the +bank. + +VARYA. If only God would help us! + +GAEV. I'll go on Tuesday. I'll talk with them about it again. [To VARYA] +Don't howl. [To ANYA] Your mother will have a talk to Lopakhin; he, of +course, won't refuse... And when you've rested you'll go to Yaroslav to +the Countess, your grandmother. So you see, we'll have three irons in +the fire, and we'll be safe. We'll pay up the interest. I'm certain. +[Puts some sugar-candy into his mouth] I swear on my honour, on anything +you will, that the estate will not be sold! [Excitedly] I swear on my +happiness! Here's my hand. You may call me a dishonourable wretch if I +let it go to auction! I swear by all I am! + +ANYA. [She is calm again and happy] How good and clever you are, uncle. +[Embraces him] I'm happy now! I'm happy! All's well! + +[Enter FIERS.] + +FIERS. [Reproachfully] Leonid Andreyevitch, don't you fear God? When are +you going to bed? + +GAEV. Soon, soon. You go away, Fiers. I'll undress myself. Well, +children, bye-bye...! I'll give you the details to-morrow, but let's go +to bed now. [Kisses ANYA and VARYA] I'm a man of the eighties.... People +don't praise those years much, but I can still say that I've suffered +for my beliefs. The peasants don't love me for nothing, I assure you. +We've got to learn to know the peasants! We ought to learn how.... + +ANYA. You're doing it again, uncle! + +VARYA. Be quiet, uncle! + +FIERS. [Angrily] Leonid Andreyevitch! + +GAEV. I'm coming, I'm coming.... Go to bed now. Off two cushions into +the middle! I turn over a new leaf.... [Exit. FIERS goes out after him.] + +ANYA. I'm quieter now. I don't want to go to Yaroslav, I don't like +grandmother; but I'm calm now; thanks to uncle. [Sits down.] + +VARYA. It's time to go to sleep. I'll go. There's been an unpleasantness +here while you were away. In the old servants' part of the house, as you +know, only the old people live--little old Efim and Polya and Evstigney, +and Karp as well. They started letting some tramps or other spend the +night there--I said nothing. Then I heard that they were saying that I +had ordered them to be fed on peas and nothing else; from meanness, you +see.... And it was all Evstigney's doing.... Very well, I thought, +if that's what the matter is, just you wait. So I call Evstigney.... +[Yawns] He comes. "What's this," I say, "Evstigney, you old fool."... +[Looks at ANYA] Anya dear! [Pause] She's dropped off.... [Takes ANYA'S +arm] Let's go to bye-bye.... Come along!... [Leads her] My darling's +gone to sleep! Come on.... [They go. In the distance, the other side of +the orchard, a shepherd plays his pipe. TROFIMOV crosses the stage and +stops on seeing VARYA and ANYA] Sh! She's asleep, asleep. Come on, dear. + +ANYA. [Quietly, half-asleep] I'm so tired... all the bells... uncle, +dear! Mother and uncle! + +VARYA. Come on, dear, come on! [They go into ANYA'S room.] + +TROFIMOV. [Moved] My sun! My spring! + +Curtain. + + + + +ACT TWO + + +[In a field. An old, crooked shrine, which has been long abandoned; near +it a well and large stones, which apparently are old tombstones, and +an old garden seat. The road is seen to GAEV'S estate. On one side rise +dark poplars, behind them begins the cherry orchard. In the distance +is a row of telegraph poles, and far, far away on the horizon are the +indistinct signs of a large town, which can only be seen on the finest +and clearest days. It is close on sunset. CHARLOTTA, YASHA, and DUNYASHA +are sitting on the seat; EPIKHODOV stands by and plays on a guitar; all +seem thoughtful. CHARLOTTA wears a man's old peaked cap; she has unslung +a rifle from her shoulders and is putting to rights the buckle on the +strap.] + +CHARLOTTA. [Thoughtfully] I haven't a real passport. I don't know how +old I am, and I think I'm young. When I was a little girl my father and +mother used to go round fairs and give very good performances and I used +to do the _salto mortale_ and various little things. And when papa and +mamma died a German lady took me to her and began to teach me. I liked +it. I grew up and became a governess. And where I came from and who +I am, I don't know.... Who my parents were--perhaps they weren't +married--I don't know. [Takes a cucumber out of her pocket and eats] I +don't know anything. [Pause] I do want to talk, but I haven't anybody to +talk to... I haven't anybody at all. + +EPIKHODOV. [Plays on the guitar and sings] + + "What is this noisy earth to me, + What matter friends and foes?" + I do like playing on the mandoline! + +DUNYASHA. That's a guitar, not a mandoline. [Looks at herself in a +little mirror and powders herself.] + +EPIKHODOV. For the enamoured madman, this is a mandoline. [Sings] + + "Oh that the heart was warmed, + By all the flames of love returned!" + +[YASHA sings too.] + +CHARLOTTA. These people sing terribly.... Foo! Like jackals. + +DUNYASHA. [To YASHA] Still, it must be nice to live abroad. + +YASHA. Yes, certainly. I cannot differ from you there. [Yawns and lights +a cigar.] + +EPIKHODOV. That is perfectly natural. Abroad everything is in full +complexity. + +YASHA. That goes without saying. + +EPIKHODOV. I'm an educated man, I read various remarkable books, but I +cannot understand the direction I myself want to go--whether to live +or to shoot myself, as it were. So, in case, I always carry a revolver +about with me. Here it is. [Shows a revolver.] + +CHARLOTTA. I've done. Now I'll go. [Slings the rifle] You, Epikhodov, +are a very clever man and very terrible; women must be madly in love +with you. Brrr! [Going] These wise ones are all so stupid. I've nobody +to talk to. I'm always alone, alone; I've nobody at all... and I don't +know who I am or why I live. [Exit slowly.] + +EPIKHODOV. As a matter of fact, independently of everything else, I must +express my feeling, among other things, that fate has been as pitiless +in her dealings with me as a storm is to a small ship. Suppose, let +us grant, I am wrong; then why did I wake up this morning, to give an +example, and behold an enormous spider on my chest, like that. [Shows +with both hands] And if I do drink some kvass, why is it that there is +bound to be something of the most indelicate nature in it, such as a +beetle? [Pause] Have you read Buckle? [Pause] I should like to trouble +you, Avdotya Fedorovna, for two words. + +DUNYASHA. Say on. + +EPIKHODOV. I should prefer to be alone with you. [Sighs.] + +DUNYASHA. [Shy] Very well, only first bring me my little cloak.... It's +by the cupboard. It's a little damp here. + +EPIKHODOV. Very well... I'll bring it.... Now I know what to do with my +revolver. [Takes guitar and exits, strumming.] + +YASHA. Two-and-twenty troubles! A silly man, between you and me and the +gatepost. [Yawns.] + +DUNYASHA. I hope to goodness he won't shoot himself. [Pause] I'm so +nervous, I'm worried. I went into service when I was quite a little +girl, and now I'm not used to common life, and my hands are white, white +as a lady's. I'm so tender and so delicate now; respectable and afraid +of everything.... I'm so frightened. And I don't know what will happen +to my nerves if you deceive me, Yasha. + +YASHA. [Kisses her] Little cucumber! Of course, every girl must respect +herself; there's nothing I dislike more than a badly behaved girl. + +DUNYASHA. I'm awfully in love with you; you're educated, you can talk +about everything. [Pause.] + +YASHA. [Yawns] Yes. I think this: if a girl loves anybody, then that +means she's immoral. [Pause] It's nice to smoke a cigar out in the open +air.... [Listens] Somebody's coming. It's the mistress, and people with +her. [DUNYASHA embraces him suddenly] Go to the house, as if you'd been +bathing in the river; go by this path, or they'll meet you and will +think I've been meeting you. I can't stand that sort of thing. + +DUNYASHA. [Coughs quietly] My head's aching because of your cigar. + +[Exit. YASHA remains, sitting by the shrine. Enter LUBOV ANDREYEVNA, +GAEV, and LOPAKHIN.] + +LOPAKHIN. You must make up your mind definitely--there's no time to +waste. The question is perfectly plain. Are you willing to let the land +for villas or no? Just one word, yes or no? Just one word! + +LUBOV. Who's smoking horrible cigars here? [Sits.] + +GAEV. They built that railway; that's made this place very handy. [Sits] +Went to town and had lunch... red in the middle! I'd like to go in now +and have just one game. + +LUBOV. You'll have time. + +LOPAKHIN. Just one word! [Imploringly] Give me an answer! + +GAEV. [Yawns] Really! + +LUBOV. [Looks in her purse] I had a lot of money yesterday, but there's +very little to-day. My poor Varya feeds everybody on milk soup to +save money, in the kitchen the old people only get peas, and I spend +recklessly. [Drops the purse, scattering gold coins] There, they are all +over the place. + +YASHA. Permit me to pick them up. [Collects the coins.] + +LUBOV. Please do, Yasha. And why did I go and have lunch there?... A +horrid restaurant with band and tablecloths smelling of soap.... Why +do you drink so much, Leon? Why do you eat so much? Why do you talk so +much? You talked again too much to-day in the restaurant, and it wasn't +at all to the point--about the seventies and about decadents. And to +whom? Talking to the waiters about decadents! + +LOPAKHIN. Yes. + +GAEV. [Waves his hand] I can't be cured, that's obvious.... [Irritably +to YASHA] What's the matter? Why do you keep twisting about in front of +me? + +YASHA. [Laughs] I can't listen to your voice without laughing. + +GAEV. [To his sister] Either he or I... + +LUBOV. Go away, Yasha; get out of this.... + +YASHA. [Gives purse to LUBOV ANDREYEVNA] I'll go at once. [Hardly able +to keep from laughing] This minute.... [Exit.] + +LOPAKHIN. That rich man Deriganov is preparing to buy your estate. They +say he'll come to the sale himself. + +LUBOV. Where did you hear that? + +LOPAKHIN. They say so in town. + +GAEV. Our Yaroslav aunt has promised to send something, but I don't know +when or how much. + +LOPAKHIN. How much will she send? A hundred thousand roubles? Or two, +perhaps? + +LUBOV. I'd be glad of ten or fifteen thousand. + +LOPAKHIN. You must excuse my saying so, but I've never met such +frivolous people as you before, or anybody so unbusinesslike and +peculiar. Here I am telling you in plain language that your estate will +be sold, and you don't seem to understand. + +LUBOV. What are we to do? Tell us, what? + +LOPAKHIN. I tell you every day. I say the same thing every day. Both the +cherry orchard and the land must be leased off for villas and at once, +immediately--the auction is staring you in the face: Understand! Once +you do definitely make up your minds to the villas, then you'll have as +much money as you want and you'll be saved. + +LUBOV. Villas and villa residents--it's so vulgar, excuse me. + +GAEV. I entirely agree with you. + +LOPAKHIN. I must cry or yell or faint. I can't stand it! You're too much +for me! [To GAEV] You old woman! + +GAEV. Really! + +LOPAKHIN. Old woman! [Going out.] + +LUBOV. [Frightened] No, don't go away, do stop; be a dear. Please. +Perhaps we'll find some way out! + +LOPAKHIN. What's the good of trying to think! + +LUBOV. Please don't go away. It's nicer when you're here.... [Pause] +I keep on waiting for something to happen, as if the house is going to +collapse over our heads. + +GAEV. [Thinking deeply] Double in the corner... across the middle.... + +LUBOV. We have been too sinful.... + +LOPAKHIN. What sins have you committed? + +GAEV. [Puts candy into his mouth] They say that I've eaten all my +substance in sugar-candies. [Laughs.] + +LUBOV. Oh, my sins.... I've always scattered money about without holding +myself in, like a madwoman, and I married a man who made nothing but +debts. My husband died of champagne--he drank terribly--and to my +misfortune, I fell in love with another man and went off with him, and +just at that time--it was my first punishment, a blow that hit me right +on the head--here, in the river... my boy was drowned, and I went away, +quite away, never to return, never to see this river again...I shut my +eyes and ran without thinking, but _he_ ran after me... without pity, +without respect. I bought a villa near Mentone because _he_ fell ill +there, and for three years I knew no rest either by day or night; the +sick man wore me out, and my soul dried up. And last year, when they +had sold the villa to pay my debts, I went away to Paris, and there +he robbed me of all I had and threw me over and went off with another +woman. I tried to poison myself.... It was so silly, so shameful.... +And suddenly I longed to be back in Russia, my own land, with my little +girl.... [Wipes her tears] Lord, Lord be merciful to me, forgive me my +sins! Punish me no more! [Takes a telegram out of her pocket] I had +this to-day from Paris.... He begs my forgiveness, he implores me to +return.... [Tears it up] Don't I hear music? [Listens.] + +GAEV. That is our celebrated Jewish band. You remember--four violins, a +flute, and a double-bass. + +LUBOV So it still exists? It would be nice if they came along some +evening. + +LOPAKHIN. [Listens] I can't hear.... [Sings quietly] "For money will the +Germans make a Frenchman of a Russian." [Laughs] I saw such an awfully +funny thing at the theatre last night. + +LUBOV. I'm quite sure there wasn't anything at all funny. You oughtn't +to go and see plays, you ought to go and look at yourself. What a grey +life you lead, what a lot you talk unnecessarily. + +LOPAKHIN. It's true. To speak the straight truth, we live a silly life. +[Pause] My father was a peasant, an idiot, he understood nothing, he +didn't teach me, he was always drunk, and always used a stick on me. In +point of fact, I'm a fool and an idiot too. I've never learned anything, +my handwriting is bad, I write so that I'm quite ashamed before people, +like a pig! + +LUBOV. You ought to get married, my friend. + +LOPAKHIN. Yes... that's true. + +LUBOV. Why not to our Varya? She's a nice girl. + +LOPAKHIN. Yes. + +LUBOV. She's quite homely in her ways, works all day, and, what matters +most, she's in love with you. And you've liked her for a long time. + +LOPAKHIN. Well? I don't mind... she's a nice girl. [Pause.] + +GAEV. I'm offered a place in a bank. Six thousand roubles a year.... Did +you hear? + +LUBOV. What's the matter with you! Stay where you are.... + +[Enter FIERS with an overcoat.] + +FIERS. [To GAEV] Please, sir, put this on, it's damp. + +GAEV. [Putting it on] You're a nuisance, old man. + +FIERS It's all very well.... You went away this morning without telling +me. [Examining GAEV.] + +LUBOV. How old you've grown, Fiers! + +FIERS. I beg your pardon? + +LOPAKHIN. She says you've grown very old! + +FIERS. I've been alive a long time. They were already getting ready +to marry me before your father was born.... [Laughs] And when the +Emancipation came I was already first valet. Only I didn't agree with +the Emancipation and remained with my people.... [Pause] I remember +everybody was happy, but they didn't know why. + +LOPAKHIN. It was very good for them in the old days. At any rate, they +used to beat them. + +FIERS. [Not hearing] Rather. The peasants kept their distance from the +masters and the masters kept their distance from the peasants, but now +everything's all anyhow and you can't understand anything. + +GAEV. Be quiet, Fiers. I've got to go to town tomorrow. I've been +promised an introduction to a General who may lend me money on a bill. + +LOPAKHIN. Nothing will come of it. And you won't pay your interest, +don't you worry. + +LUBOV. He's talking rubbish. There's no General at all. + +[Enter TROFIMOV, ANYA, and VARYA.] + +GAEV. Here they are. + +ANYA. Mother's sitting down here. + +LUBOV. [Tenderly] Come, come, my dears.... [Embracing ANYA and VARYA] If +you two only knew how much I love you. Sit down next to me, like that. +[All sit down.] + +LOPAKHIN. Our eternal student is always with the ladies. + +TROFIMOV. That's not your business. + +LOPAKHIN. He'll soon be fifty, and he's still a student. + +TROFIMOV. Leave off your silly jokes! + +LOPAKHIN. Getting angry, eh, silly? + +TROFIMOV. Shut up, can't you. + +LOPAKHIN. [Laughs] I wonder what you think of me? + +TROFIMOV. I think, Ermolai Alexeyevitch, that you're a rich man, +and you'll soon be a millionaire. Just as the wild beast which eats +everything it finds is needed for changes to take place in matter, so +you are needed too. + +[All laugh.] + +VARYA. Better tell us something about the planets, Peter. + +LUBOV ANDREYEVNA. No, let's go on with yesterday's talk! + +TROFIMOV. About what? + +GAEV. About the proud man. + +TROFIMOV. Yesterday we talked for a long time but we didn't come to +anything in the end. There's something mystical about the proud man, in +your sense. Perhaps you are right from your point of view, but if you +take the matter simply, without complicating it, then what pride can +there be, what sense can there be in it, if a man is imperfectly made, +physiologically speaking, if in the vast majority of cases he is coarse +and stupid and deeply unhappy? We must stop admiring one another. We +must work, nothing more. + +GAEV. You'll die, all the same. + +TROFIMOV. Who knows? And what does it mean--you'll die? Perhaps a man +has a hundred senses, and when he dies only the five known to us are +destroyed and the remaining ninety-five are left alive. + +LUBOV. How clever of you, Peter! + +LOPAKHIN. [Ironically] Oh, awfully! + +TROFIMOV. The human race progresses, perfecting its powers. +Everything that is unattainable now will some day be near at hand and +comprehensible, but we must work, we must help with all our strength +those who seek to know what fate will bring. Meanwhile in Russia only +a very few of us work. The vast majority of those intellectuals whom I +know seek for nothing, do nothing, and are at present incapable of hard +work. They call themselves intellectuals, but they use "thou" and "thee" +to their servants, they treat the peasants like animals, they learn +badly, they read nothing seriously, they do absolutely nothing, about +science they only talk, about art they understand little. They are +all serious, they all have severe faces, they all talk about important +things. They philosophize, and at the same time, the vast majority +of us, ninety-nine out of a hundred, live like savages, fighting and +cursing at the slightest opportunity, eating filthily, sleeping in the +dirt, in stuffiness, with fleas, stinks, smells, moral filth, and so +on... And it's obvious that all our nice talk is only carried on to +distract ourselves and others. Tell me, where are those crches we hear +so much of? and where are those reading-rooms? People only write novels +about them; they don't really exist. Only dirt, vulgarity, and Asiatic +plagues really exist.... I'm afraid, and I don't at all like serious +faces; I don't like serious conversations. Let's be quiet sooner. + +LOPAKHIN. You know, I get up at five every morning, I work from +morning till evening, I am always dealing with money--my own and other +people's--and I see what people are like. You've only got to begin to +do anything to find out how few honest, honourable people there are. +Sometimes, when I can't sleep, I think: "Oh Lord, you've given us huge +forests, infinite fields, and endless horizons, and we, living here, +ought really to be giants." + +LUBOV. You want giants, do you?... They're only good in stories, and +even there they frighten one. [EPIKHODOV enters at the back of the stage +playing his guitar. Thoughtfully:] Epikhodov's there. + +ANYA. [Thoughtfully] Epikhodov's there. + +GAEV. The sun's set, ladies and gentlemen. + +TROFIMOV. Yes. + +GAEV [Not loudly, as if declaiming] O Nature, thou art wonderful, thou +shinest with eternal radiance! Oh, beautiful and indifferent one, thou +whom we call mother, thou containest in thyself existence and death, +thou livest and destroyest.... + +VARYA. [Entreatingly] Uncle, dear! + +ANYA. Uncle, you're doing it again! + +TROFIMOV. You'd better double the red into the middle. + +GAEV. I'll be quiet, I'll be quiet. + +[They all sit thoughtfully. It is quiet. Only the mumbling of FIERS is +heard. Suddenly a distant sound is heard as if from the sky, the sound +of a breaking string, which dies away sadly.] + +LUBOV. What's that? + +LOPAKHIN. I don't know. It may be a bucket fallen down a well somewhere. +But it's some way off. + +GAEV. Or perhaps it's some bird... like a heron. + +TROFIMOV. Or an owl. + +LUBOV. [Shudders] It's unpleasant, somehow. [A pause.] + +FIERS. Before the misfortune the same thing happened. An owl screamed +and the samovar hummed without stopping. + +GAEV. Before what misfortune? + +FIERS. Before the Emancipation. [A pause.] + +LUBOV. You know, my friends, let's go in; it's evening now. [To ANYA] +You've tears in your eyes.... What is it, little girl? [Embraces her.] + +ANYA. It's nothing, mother. + +TROFIMOV. Some one's coming. + +[Enter a TRAMP in an old white peaked cap and overcoat. He is a little +drunk.] + +TRAMP. Excuse me, may I go this way straight through to the station? + +GAEV. You may. Go along this path. + +TRAMP. I thank you from the bottom of my heart. [Hiccups] Lovely +weather.... [Declaims] My brother, my suffering brother.... Come out on +the Volga, you whose groans... [To VARYA] Mademoiselle, please give a +hungry Russian thirty copecks.... + +[VARYA screams, frightened.] + +LOPAKHIN. [Angrily] There's manners everybody's got to keep! + +LUBOV. [With a start] Take this... here you are.... [Feels in her purse] +There's no silver.... It doesn't matter, here's gold. + +TRAMP. I am deeply grateful to you! [Exit. Laughter.] + +VARYA. [Frightened] I'm going, I'm going.... Oh, little mother, at home +there's nothing for the servants to eat, and you gave him gold. + +LUBOV. What is to be done with such a fool as I am! At home I'll give +you everything I've got. Ermolai Alexeyevitch, lend me some more!... + +LOPAKHIN. Very well. + +LUBOV. Let's go, it's time. And Varya, we've settled your affair; I +congratulate you. + +VARYA. [Crying] You shouldn't joke about this, mother. + +LOPAKHIN. Oh, feel me, get thee to a nunnery. + +GAEV. My hands are all trembling; I haven't played billiards for a long +time. + +LOPAKHIN. Oh, feel me, nymph, remember me in thine orisons. + +LUBOV. Come along; it'll soon be supper-time. + +VARYA. He did frighten me. My heart is beating hard. + +LOPAKHIN. Let me remind you, ladies and gentlemen, on August 22 the +cherry orchard will be sold. Think of that!... Think of that!... + +[All go out except TROFIMOV and ANYA.] + +ANYA. [Laughs] Thanks to the tramp who frightened Barbara, we're alone +now. + +TROFIMOV. Varya's afraid we may fall in love with each other and won't +get away from us for days on end. Her narrow mind won't allow her to +understand that we are above love. To escape all the petty and deceptive +things which prevent our being happy and free, that is the aim and +meaning of our lives. Forward! We go irresistibly on to that bright star +which burns there, in the distance! Don't lag behind, friends! + +ANYA. [Clapping her hands] How beautifully you talk! [Pause] It is +glorious here to-day! + +TROFIMOV. Yes, the weather is wonderful. + +ANYA. What have you done to me, Peter? I don't love the cherry orchard +as I used to. I loved it so tenderly, I thought there was no better +place in the world than our orchard. + +TROFIMOV. All Russia is our orchard. The land is great and beautiful, +there are many marvellous places in it. [Pause] Think, Anya, your +grandfather, your great-grandfather, and all your ancestors were +serf-owners, they owned living souls; and now, doesn't something human +look at you from every cherry in the orchard, every leaf and every +stalk? Don't you hear voices...? Oh, it's awful, your orchard is +terrible; and when in the evening or at night you walk through the +orchard, then the old bark on the trees sheds a dim light and the old +cherry-trees seem to be dreaming of all that was a hundred, two hundred +years ago, and are oppressed by their heavy visions. Still, at any +rate, we've left those two hundred years behind us. So far we've gained +nothing at all--we don't yet know what the past is to be to us--we only +philosophize, we complain that we are dull, or we drink vodka. For it's +so clear that in order to begin to live in the present we must first +redeem the past, and that can only be done by suffering, by strenuous, +uninterrupted labour. Understand that, Anya. + +ANYA. The house in which we live has long ceased to be our house; I +shall go away. I give you my word. + +TROFIMOV. If you have the housekeeping keys, throw them down the well +and go away. Be as free as the wind. + +ANYA. [Enthusiastically] How nicely you said that! + +TROFIMOV. Believe me, Anya, believe me! I'm not thirty yet, I'm young, +I'm still a student, but I have undergone a great deal! I'm as hungry +as the winter, I'm ill, I'm shaken. I'm as poor as a beggar, and where +haven't I been--fate has tossed me everywhere! But my soul is always my +own; every minute of the day and the night it is filled with unspeakable +presentiments. I know that happiness is coming, Anya, I see it +already.... + +ANYA. [Thoughtful] The moon is rising. + +[EPIKHODOV is heard playing the same sad song on his guitar. The moon +rises. Somewhere by the poplars VARYA is looking for ANYA and calling, +"Anya, where are you?"] + +TROFIMOV. Yes, the moon has risen. [Pause] There is happiness, there it +comes; it comes nearer and nearer; I hear its steps already. And if we +do not see it we shall not know it, but what does that matter? Others +will see it! + +THE VOICE OF VARYA. Anya! Where are you? + +TROFIMOV. That's Varya again! [Angry] Disgraceful! + +ANYA. Never mind. Let's go to the river. It's nice there. + +TROFIMOV Let's go. [They go out.] + +THE VOICE OF VARYA. Anya! Anya! + +Curtain. + + + + +ACT THREE + + +[A reception-room cut off from a drawing-room by an arch. Chandelier +lighted. A Jewish band, the one mentioned in Act II, is heard playing +in another room. Evening. In the drawing-room the grand rond is being +danced. Voice of SIMEONOV PISCHIN "Promenade a une paire!" Dancers +come into the reception-room; the first pair are PISCHIN and CHARLOTTA +IVANOVNA; the second, TROFIMOV and LUBOV ANDREYEVNA; the third, ANYA and +the POST OFFICE CLERK; the fourth, VARYA and the STATION-MASTER, and +so on. VARYA is crying gently and wipes away her tears as she dances. +DUNYASHA is in the last pair. They go off into the drawing-room, +PISCHIN shouting, "Grand rond, balancez:" and "Les cavaliers genou +et remerciez vos dames!" FIERS, in a dress-coat, carries a tray with +seltzer-water across. Enter PISCHIN and TROFIMOV from the drawing-room.] + +PISCHIN. I'm full-blooded and have already had two strokes; it's hard +for me to dance, but, as they say, if you're in Rome, you must do as +Rome does. I've got the strength of a horse. My dead father, who liked +a joke, peace to his bones, used to say, talking of our ancestors, +that the ancient stock of the Simeonov-Pischins was descended from that +identical horse that Caligula made a senator.... [Sits] But the trouble +is, I've no money! A hungry dog only believes in meat. [Snores and wakes +up again immediately] So I... only believe in money.... + +TROFIMOV. Yes. There is something equine about your figure. + +PISCHIN. Well... a horse is a fine animal... you can sell a horse. + +[Billiard playing can be heard in the next room. VARYA appears under the +arch.] + +TROFIMOV. [Teasing] Madame Lopakhin! Madame Lopakhin! + +VARYA. [Angry] Decayed gentleman! + +TROFIMOV. Yes, I am a decayed gentleman, and I'm proud of it! + +VARYA. [Bitterly] We've hired the musicians, but how are they to be +paid? [Exit.] + +TROFIMOV. [To PISCHIN] If the energy which you, in the course of your +life, have spent in looking for money to pay interest had been used +for something else, then, I believe, after all, you'd be able to turn +everything upside down. + +PISCHIN. Nietzsche... a philosopher... a very great, a most celebrated +man... a man of enormous brain, says in his books that you can forge +bank-notes. + +TROFIMOV. And have you read Nietzsche? + +PISCHIN. Well... Dashenka told me. Now I'm in such a position, I +wouldn't mind forging them... I've got to pay 310 roubles the day after +to-morrow... I've got 130 already.... [Feels his pockets, nervously] +I've lost the money! The money's gone! [Crying] Where's the money? +[Joyfully] Here it is behind the lining... I even began to perspire. + +[Enter LUBOV ANDREYEVNA and CHARLOTTA IVANOVNA.] + +LUBOV. [Humming a Caucasian dance] Why is Leonid away so long? What's he +doing in town? [To DUNYASHA] Dunyasha, give the musicians some tea. + +TROFIMOV. Business is off, I suppose. + +LUBOV. And the musicians needn't have come, and we needn't have got up +this ball.... Well, never mind.... [Sits and sings softly.] + +CHARLOTTA. [Gives a pack of cards to PISCHIN] Here's a pack of cards, +think of any one card you like. + +PISCHIN. I've thought of one. + +CHARLOTTA. Now shuffle. All right, now. Give them here, oh my dear +Mr. Pischin. _Ein, zwei, drei_! Now look and you'll find it in your +coat-tail pocket. + +PISCHIN. [Takes a card out of his coat-tail pocket] Eight of spades, +quite right! [Surprised] Think of that now! + +CHARLOTTA. [Holds the pack of cards on the palm of her hand. To +TROFIMOV] Now tell me quickly. What's the top card? + +TROFIMOV. Well, the queen of spades. + +CHARLOTTA. Right! [To PISCHIN] Well now? What card's on top? + +PISCHIN. Ace of hearts. + +CHARLOTTA. Right! [Claps her hands, the pack of cards vanishes] How +lovely the weather is to-day. [A mysterious woman's voice answers her, +as if from under the floor, "Oh yes, it's lovely weather, madam."] You +are so beautiful, you are my ideal. [Voice, "You, madam, please me very +much too."] + +STATION-MASTER. [Applauds] Madame ventriloquist, bravo! + +PISCHIN. [Surprised] Think of that, now! Delightful, Charlotte +Ivanovna... I'm simply in love.... + +CHARLOTTA. In love? [Shrugging her shoulders] Can you love? _Guter +Mensch aber schlechter Musikant_. + +TROFIMOV. [Slaps PISCHIN on the shoulder] Oh, you horse! + +CHARLOTTA. Attention please, here's another trick. [Takes a shawl from a +chair] Here's a very nice plaid shawl, I'm going to sell it.... [Shakes +it] Won't anybody buy it? + +PISCHIN. [Astonished] Think of that now! + +CHARLOTTA. _Ein, zwei, drei_. + +[She quickly lifts up the shawl, which is hanging down. ANYA is standing +behind it; she bows and runs to her mother, hugs her and runs back to +the drawing-room amid general applause.] + +LUBOV. [Applauds] Bravo, bravo! + +CHARLOTTA. Once again! _Ein, zwei, drei_! + +[Lifts the shawl. VARYA stands behind it and bows.] + +PISCHIN. [Astonished] Think of that, now. + +CHARLOTTA. The end! + +[Throws the shawl at PISCHIN, curtseys and runs into the drawing-room.] + +PISCHIN. [Runs after her] Little wretch.... What? Would you? [Exit.] + +LUBOV. Leonid hasn't come yet. I don't understand what he's doing so +long in town! Everything must be over by now. The estate must be sold; +or, if the sale never came off, then why does he stay so long? + +VARYA. [Tries to soothe her] Uncle has bought it. I'm certain of it. + +TROFIMOV. [Sarcastically] Oh, yes! + +VARYA. Grandmother sent him her authority for him to buy it in her name +and transfer the debt to her. She's doing it for Anya. And I'm certain +that God will help us and uncle will buy it. + +LUBOV. Grandmother sent fifteen thousand roubles from Yaroslav to buy +the property in her name--she won't trust us--and that wasn't even +enough to pay the interest. [Covers her face with her hands] My fate +will be settled to-day, my fate.... + +TROFIMOV. [Teasing VARYA] Madame Lopakhin! + +VARYA. [Angry] Eternal student! He's already been expelled twice from +the university. + +LUBOV. Why are you getting angry, Varya? He's teasing you about +Lopakhin, well what of it? You can marry Lopakhin if you want to, he's a +good, interesting man.... You needn't if you don't want to; nobody wants +to force you against your will, my darling. + +VARYA. I do look at the matter seriously, little mother, to be quite +frank. He's a good man, and I like him. + +LUBOV. Then marry him. I don't understand what you're waiting for. + +VARYA. I can't propose to him myself, little mother. People have been +talking about him to me for two years now, but he either says nothing, +or jokes about it. I understand. He's getting rich, he's busy, he can't +bother about me. If I had some money, even a little, even only a hundred +roubles, I'd throw up everything and go away. I'd go into a convent. + +TROFIMOV. How nice! + +VARYA. [To TROFIMOV] A student ought to have sense! [Gently, in tears] +How ugly you are now, Peter, how old you've grown! [To LUBOV ANDREYEVNA, +no longer crying] But I can't go on without working, little mother. I +want to be doing something every minute. + +[Enter YASHA.] + +YASHA. [Nearly laughing] Epikhodov's broken a billiard cue! [Exit.] + +VARYA. Why is Epikhodov here? Who said he could play billiards? I don't +understand these people. [Exit.] + +LUBOV. Don't tease her, Peter, you see that she's quite unhappy without +that. + +TROFIMOV. She takes too much on herself, she keeps on interfering in +other people's business. The whole summer she's given no peace to me or +to Anya, she's afraid we'll have a romance all to ourselves. What has it +to do with her? As if I'd ever given her grounds to believe I'd stoop to +such vulgarity! We are above love. + +LUBOV. Then I suppose I must be beneath love. [In agitation] Why isn't +Leonid here? If I only knew whether the estate is sold or not! The +disaster seems to me so improbable that I don't know what to think, I'm +all at sea... I may scream... or do something silly. Save me, Peter. Say +something, say something. + +TROFIMOV. Isn't it all the same whether the estate is sold to-day or +isn't? It's been all up with it for a long time; there's no turning +back, the path's grown over. Be calm, dear, you shouldn't deceive +yourself, for once in your life at any rate you must look the truth +straight in the face. + +LUBOV. What truth? You see where truth is, and where untruth is, but +I seem to have lost my sight and see nothing. You boldly settle all +important questions, but tell me, dear, isn't it because you're young, +because you haven't had time to suffer till you settled a single one +of your questions? You boldly look forward, isn't it because you cannot +foresee or expect anything terrible, because so far life has been hidden +from your young eyes? You are bolder, more honest, deeper than we are, +but think only, be just a little magnanimous, and have mercy on me. I +was born here, my father and mother lived here, my grandfather too, +I love this house. I couldn't understand my life without that cherry +orchard, and if it really must be sold, sell me with it! [Embraces +TROFIMOV, kisses his forehead]. My son was drowned here.... [Weeps] Have +pity on me, good, kind man. + +TROFIMOV. You know I sympathize with all my soul. + +LUBOV. Yes, but it ought to be said differently, differently.... [Takes +another handkerchief, a telegram falls on the floor] I'm so sick at +heart to-day, you can't imagine. Here it's so noisy, my soul shakes at +every sound. I shake all over, and I can't go away by myself, I'm afraid +of the silence. Don't judge me harshly, Peter... I loved you, as if you +belonged to my family. I'd gladly let Anya marry you, I swear it, only +dear, you ought to work, finish your studies. You don't do anything, +only fate throws you about from place to place, it's so odd.... Isn't it +true? Yes? And you ought to do something to your beard to make it grow +better [Laughs] You are funny! + +TROFIMOV. [Picking up telegram] I don't want to be a Beau Brummel. + +LUBOV. This telegram's from Paris. I get one every day. Yesterday and +to-day. That wild man is ill again, he's bad again.... He begs for +forgiveness, and implores me to come, and I really ought to go to Paris +to be near him. You look severe, Peter, but what can I do, my dear, what +can I do; he's ill, he's alone, unhappy, and who's to look after +him, who's to keep him away from his errors, to give him his medicine +punctually? And why should I conceal it and say nothing about it; I love +him, that's plain, I love him, I love him.... That love is a stone round +my neck; I'm going with it to the bottom, but I love that stone and +can't live without it. [Squeezes TROFIMOV'S hand] Don't think badly of +me, Peter, don't say anything to me, don't say... + +TROFIMOV. [Weeping] For God's sake forgive my speaking candidly, but +that man has robbed you! + +LUBOV. No, no, no, you oughtn't to say that! [Stops her ears.] + +TROFIMOV. But he's a wretch, you alone don't know it! He's a petty +thief, a nobody.... + +LUBOV. [Angry, but restrained] You're twenty-six or twenty-seven, and +still a schoolboy of the second class! + +TROFIMOV. Why not! + +LUBOV. You ought to be a man, at your age you ought to be able to +understand those who love. And you ought to be in love yourself, you +must fall in love! [Angry] Yes, yes! You aren't pure, you're just a +freak, a queer fellow, a funny growth... + +TROFIMOV. [In horror] What is she saying! + +LUBOV. "I'm above love!" You're not above love, you're just what our +Fiers calls a bungler. Not to have a mistress at your age! + +TROFIMOV. [In horror] This is awful! What is she saying? [Goes quickly +up into the drawing-room, clutching his head] It's awful... I can't +stand it, I'll go away. [Exit, but returns at once] All is over between +us! [Exit.] + +LUBOV. [Shouts after him] Peter, wait! Silly man, I was joking! Peter! +[Somebody is heard going out and falling downstairs noisily. ANYA and +VARYA scream; laughter is heard immediately] What's that? + +[ANYA comes running in, laughing.] + +ANYA. Peter's fallen downstairs! [Runs out again.] + +LUBOV. This Peter's a marvel. + +[The STATION-MASTER stands in the middle of the drawing-room and recites +"The Magdalen" by Tolstoy. He is listened to, but he has only delivered +a few lines when a waltz is heard from the front room, and the +recitation is stopped. Everybody dances. TROFIMOV, ANYA, VARYA, and +LUBOV ANDREYEVNA come in from the front room.] + +LUBOV. Well, Peter... you pure soul... I beg your pardon... let's dance. + +[She dances with PETER. ANYA and VARYA dance. FIERS enters and stands +his stick by a side door. YASHA has also come in and looks on at the +dance.] + +YASHA. Well, grandfather? + +FIERS. I'm not well. At our balls some time back, generals and barons +and admirals used to dance, and now we send for post-office clerks and +the Station-master, and even they come as a favour. I'm very weak. The +dead master, the grandfather, used to give everybody sealing-wax when +anything was wrong. I've taken sealing-wax every day for twenty years, +and more; perhaps that's why I still live. + +YASHA. I'm tired of you, grandfather. [Yawns] If you'd only hurry up and +kick the bucket. + +FIERS. Oh you... bungler! [Mutters.] + +[TROFIMOV and LUBOV ANDREYEVNA dance in the reception-room, then into +the sitting-room.] + +LUBOV. _Merci_. I'll sit down. [Sits] I'm tired. + +[Enter ANYA.] + +ANYA. [Excited] Somebody in the kitchen was saying just now that the +cherry orchard was sold to-day. + +LUBOV. Sold to whom? + +ANYA. He didn't say to whom. He's gone now. [Dances out into the +reception-room with TROFIMOV.] + +YASHA. Some old man was chattering about it a long time ago. A stranger! + +FIERS. And Leonid Andreyevitch isn't here yet, he hasn't come. He's +wearing a light, _demi-saison_ overcoat. He'll catch cold. Oh these +young fellows. + +LUBOV. I'll die of this. Go and find out, Yasha, to whom it's sold. + +YASHA. Oh, but he's been gone a long time, the old man. [Laughs.] + +LUBOV. [Slightly vexed] Why do you laugh? What are you glad about? + +YASHA. Epikhodov's too funny. He's a silly man. Two-and-twenty troubles. + +LUBOV. Fiers, if the estate is sold, where will you go? + +FIERS. I'll go wherever you order me to go. + +LUBOV. Why do you look like that? Are you ill? I think you ought to go +to bed.... + +FIERS. Yes... [With a smile] I'll go to bed, and who'll hand things +round and give orders without me? I've the whole house on my shoulders. + +YASHA. [To LUBOV ANDREYEVNA] Lubov Andreyevna! I want to ask a favour of +you, if you'll be so kind! If you go to Paris again, then please take +me with you. It's absolutely impossible for me to stop here. [Looking +round; in an undertone] What's the good of talking about it, you see for +yourself that this is an uneducated country, with an immoral population, +and it's so dull. The food in the kitchen is beastly, and here's this +Fiers walking about mumbling various inappropriate things. Take me with +you, be so kind! + +[Enter PISCHIN.] + +PISCHIN. I come to ask for the pleasure of a little waltz, dear lady.... +[LUBOV ANDREYEVNA goes to him] But all the same, you wonderful woman, +I must have 180 little roubles from you... I must.... [They dance] 180 +little roubles.... [They go through into the drawing-room.] + +YASHA. [Sings softly] "Oh, will you understand + My soul's deep restlessness?" + +[In the drawing-room a figure in a grey top-hat and in baggy check +trousers is waving its hands and jumping about; there are cries of +"Bravo, Charlotta Ivanovna!"] + +DUNYASHA. [Stops to powder her face] The young mistress tells me to +dance--there are a lot of gentlemen, but few ladies--and my head +goes round when I dance, and my heart beats, Fiers Nicolaevitch; the +Post-office clerk told me something just now which made me catch my +breath. [The music grows faint.] + +FIERS. What did he say to you? + +DUNYASHA. He says, "You're like a little flower." + +YASHA. [Yawns] Impolite.... [Exit.] + +DUNYASHA. Like a little flower. I'm such a delicate girl; I simply love +words of tenderness. + +FIERS. You'll lose your head. + +[Enter EPIKHODOV.] + +EPIKHODOV. You, Avdotya Fedorovna, want to see me no more than if I was +some insect. [Sighs] Oh, life! + +DUNYASHA. What do you want? + +EPIKHODOV. Undoubtedly, perhaps, you may be right. [Sighs] But, +certainly, if you regard the matter from the aspect, then you, if I may +say so, and you must excuse my candidness, have absolutely reduced me to +a state of mind. I know my fate, every day something unfortunate happens +to me, and I've grown used to it a long time ago, I even look at my fate +with a smile. You gave me your word, and though I... + +DUNYASHA. Please, we'll talk later on, but leave me alone now. I'm +meditating now. [Plays with her fan.] + +EPIKHODOV. Every day something unfortunate happens to me, and I, if I +may so express myself, only smile, and even laugh. + +[VARYA enters from the drawing-room.] + +VARYA. Haven't you gone yet, Simeon? You really have no respect for +anybody. [To DUNYASHA] You go away, Dunyasha. [To EPIKHODOV] You play +billiards and break a cue, and walk about the drawing-room as if you +were a visitor! + +EPIKHODOV. You cannot, if I may say so, call me to order. + +VARYA. I'm not calling you to order, I'm only telling you. You just walk +about from place to place and never do your work. Goodness only knows +why we keep a clerk. + +EPIKHODOV. [Offended] Whether I work, or walk about, or eat, or play +billiards, is only a matter to be settled by people of understanding and +my elders. + +VARYA. You dare to talk to me like that! [Furious] You dare? You mean +that I know nothing? Get out of here! This minute! + +EPIKHODOV. [Nervous] I must ask you to express yourself more delicately. + +VARYA. [Beside herself] Get out this minute. Get out! [He goes to the +door, she follows] Two-and-twenty troubles! I don't want any sign of you +here! I don't want to see anything of you! [EPIKHODOV has gone out; his +voice can be heard outside: "I'll make a complaint against you."] What, +coming back? [Snatches up the stick left by FIERS by the door] Go... +go... go, I'll show you.... Are you going? Are you going? Well, then +take that. [She hits out as LOPAKHIN enters.] + +LOPAKHIN. Much obliged. + +VARYA. [Angry but amused] I'm sorry. + +LOPAKHIN. Never mind. I thank you for my pleasant reception. + +VARYA. It isn't worth any thanks. [Walks away, then looks back and asks +gently] I didn't hurt you, did I? + +LOPAKHIN. No, not at all. There'll be an enormous bump, that's all. + +VOICES FROM THE DRAWING-ROOM. Lopakhin's returned! Ermolai Alexeyevitch! + +PISCHIN. Now we'll see what there is to see and hear what there is to +hear... [Kisses LOPAKHIN] You smell of cognac, my dear, my soul. And +we're all having a good time. + +[Enter LUBOV ANDREYEVNA.] + +LUBOV. Is that you, Ermolai Alexeyevitch? Why were you so long? Where's +Leonid? + +LOPAKHIN. Leonid Andreyevitch came back with me, he's coming.... + +LUBOV. [Excited] Well, what? Is it sold? Tell me? + +LOPAKHIN. [Confused, afraid to show his pleasure] The sale ended up at +four o'clock.... We missed the train, and had to wait till half-past +nine. [Sighs heavily] Ooh! My head's going round a little. + +[Enter GAEV; in his right hand he carries things he has bought, with his +left he wipes away his tears.] + +LUBOV. Leon, what's happened? Leon, well? [Impatiently, in tears] Quick, +for the love of God.... + +GAEV. [Says nothing to her, only waves his hand; to FIERS, weeping] +Here, take this.... Here are anchovies, herrings from Kertch.... +I've had no food to-day.... I have had a time! [The door from the +billiard-room is open; the clicking of the balls is heard, and YASHA'S +voice, "Seven, eighteen!" GAEV'S expression changes, he cries no more] +I'm awfully tired. Help me change my clothes, Fiers. + +[Goes out through the drawing-room; FIERS after him.] + +PISCHIN. What happened? Come on, tell us! + +LUBOV. Is the cherry orchard sold? + +LOPAKHIN. It is sold. + +LUBOV. Who bought it? + +LOPAKHIN. I bought it. + +[LUBOV ANDREYEVNA is overwhelmed; she would fall if she were not +standing by an armchair and a table. VARYA takes her keys off her belt, +throws them on the floor, into the middle of the room and goes out.] + +LOPAKHIN. I bought it! Wait, ladies and gentlemen, please, my head's +going round, I can't talk.... [Laughs] When we got to the sale, +Deriganov was there already. Leonid Andreyevitch had only fifteen +thousand roubles, and Deriganov offered thirty thousand on top of the +mortgage to begin with. I saw how matters were, so I grabbed hold of +him and bid forty. He went up to forty-five, I offered fifty-five. That +means he went up by fives and I went up by tens.... Well, it came to +an end. I bid ninety more than the mortgage; and it stayed with me. The +cherry orchard is mine now, mine! [Roars with laughter] My God, my God, +the cherry orchard's mine! Tell me I'm drunk, or mad, or dreaming.... +[Stamps his feet] Don't laugh at me! If my father and grandfather rose +from their graves and looked at the whole affair, and saw how their +Ermolai, their beaten and uneducated Ermolai, who used to run barefoot +in the winter, how that very Ermolai has bought an estate, which is +the most beautiful thing in the world! I've bought the estate where my +grandfather and my father were slaves, where they weren't even allowed +into the kitchen. I'm asleep, it's only a dream, an illusion.... It's +the fruit of imagination, wrapped in the fog of the unknown.... [Picks +up the keys, nicely smiling] She threw down the keys, she wanted to show +she was no longer mistress here.... [Jingles keys] Well, it's all one! +[Hears the band tuning up] Eh, musicians, play, I want to hear you! Come +and look at Ermolai Lopakhin laying his axe to the cherry orchard, +come and look at the trees falling! We'll build villas here, and our +grandsons and great-grandsons will see a new life here.... Play on, +music! [The band plays. LUBOV ANDREYEVNA sinks into a chair and weeps +bitterly. LOPAKHIN continues reproachfully] Why then, why didn't you +take my advice? My poor, dear woman, you can't go back now. [Weeps] Oh, +if only the whole thing was done with, if only our uneven, unhappy life +were changed! + +PISCHIN. [Takes his arm; in an undertone] She's crying. Let's go into +the drawing-room and leave her by herself... come on.... [Takes his arm +and leads him out.] + +LOPAKHIN. What's that? Bandsmen, play nicely! Go on, do just as I want +you to! [Ironically] The new owner, the owner of the cherry orchard is +coming! [He accidentally knocks up against a little table and nearly +upsets the candelabra] I can pay for everything! [Exit with PISCHIN] + +[In the reception-room and the drawing-room nobody remains except LUBOV +ANDREYEVNA, who sits huddled up and weeping bitterly. The band plays +softly. ANYA and TROFIMOV come in quickly. ANYA goes up to her +mother and goes on her knees in front of her. TROFIMOV stands at the +drawing-room entrance.] + +ANYA. Mother! mother, are you crying? My dear, kind, good mother, my +beautiful mother, I love you! Bless you! The cherry orchard is sold, +we've got it no longer, it's true, true, but don't cry mother, you've +still got your life before you, you've still your beautiful pure soul... +Come with me, come, dear, away from here, come! We'll plant a new +garden, finer than this, and you'll see it, and you'll understand, and +deep joy, gentle joy will sink into your soul, like the evening sun, and +you'll smile, mother! Come, dear, let's go! + +Curtain. + + + + +ACT FOUR + + +[The stage is set as for Act I. There are no curtains on the windows, no +pictures; only a few pieces of furniture are left; they are piled up in +a corner as if for sale. The emptiness is felt. By the door that +leads out of the house and at the back of the stage, portmanteaux and +travelling paraphernalia are piled up. The door on the left is open; the +voices of VARYA and ANYA can be heard through it. LOPAKHIN stands and +waits. YASHA holds a tray with little tumblers of champagne. Outside, +EPIKHODOV is tying up a box. Voices are heard behind the stage. The +peasants have come to say good-bye. The voice of GAEV is heard: "Thank +you, brothers, thank you."] + +YASHA. The common people have come to say good-bye. I am of the +opinion, Ermolai Alexeyevitch, that they're good people, but they don't +understand very much. + +[The voices die away. LUBOV ANDREYEVNA and GAEV enter. She is not crying +but is pale, and her face trembles; she can hardly speak.] + +GAEV. You gave them your purse, Luba. You can't go on like that, you +can't! + +LUBOV. I couldn't help myself, I couldn't! [They go out.] + +LOPAKHIN. [In the doorway, calling after them] Please, I ask you most +humbly! Just a little glass to say good-bye. I didn't remember to bring +any from town and I only found one bottle at the station. Please, do! +[Pause] Won't you really have any? [Goes away from the door] If I only +knew--I wouldn't have bought any. Well, I shan't drink any either. +[YASHA carefully puts the tray on a chair] You have a drink, Yasha, at +any rate. + +YASHA. To those departing! And good luck to those who stay behind! +[Drinks] I can assure you that this isn't real champagne. + +LOPAKHIN. Eight roubles a bottle. [Pause] It's devilish cold here. + +YASHA. There are no fires to-day, we're going away. [Laughs] + +LOPAKHIN. What's the matter with you? + +YASHA. I'm just pleased. + +LOPAKHIN. It's October outside, but it's as sunny and as quiet as if +it were summer. Good for building. [Looking at his watch and speaking +through the door] Ladies and gentlemen, please remember that it's only +forty-seven minutes till the train goes! You must go off to the station +in twenty minutes. Hurry up. + +[TROFIMOV, in an overcoat, comes in from the grounds.] + +TROFIMOV. I think it's time we went. The carriages are waiting. Where +the devil are my goloshes? They're lost. [Through the door] Anya, I +can't find my goloshes! I can't! + +LOPAKHIN. I've got to go to Kharkov. I'm going in the same train as you. +I'm going to spend the whole winter in Kharkov. I've been hanging about +with you people, going rusty without work. I can't live without working. +I must have something to do with my hands; they hang about as if they +weren't mine at all. + +TROFIMOV. We'll go away now and then you'll start again on your useful +labours. + +LOPAKHIN. Have a glass. + +TROFIMOV. I won't. + +LOPAKHIN. So you're off to Moscow now? + +TROFIMOV Yes. I'll see them into town and to-morrow I'm off to Moscow. + +LOPAKHIN. Yes.... I expect the professors don't lecture nowadays; +they're waiting till you turn up! + +TROFIMOV. That's not your business. + +LOPAKHIN. How many years have you been going to the university? + +TROFIMOV. Think of something fresh. This is old and flat. [Looking for +his goloshes] You know, we may not meet each other again, so just let me +give you a word of advice on parting: "Don't wave your hands about! Get +rid of that habit of waving them about. And then, building villas and +reckoning on their residents becoming freeholders in time--that's the +same thing; it's all a matter of waving your hands about.... Whether +I want to or not, you know, I like you. You've thin, delicate fingers, +like those of an artist, and you've a thin, delicate soul...." + +LOPAKHIN. [Embraces him] Good-bye, dear fellow. Thanks for all you've +said. If you want any, take some money from me for the journey. + +TROFIMOV. Why should I? I don't want it. + +LOPAKHIN. But you've nothing! + +TROFIMOV. Yes, I have, thank you; I've got some for a translation. Here +it is in my pocket. [Nervously] But I can't find my goloshes! + +VARYA. [From the other room] Take your rubbish away! [Throws a pair of +rubber goloshes on to the stage.] + +TROFIMOV. Why are you angry, Varya? Hm! These aren't my goloshes! + +LOPAKHIN. In the spring I sowed three thousand acres of poppies, and now +I've made forty thousand roubles net profit. And when my poppies were +in flower, what a picture it was! So I, as I was saying, made forty +thousand roubles, and I mean I'd like to lend you some, because I can +afford it. Why turn up your nose at it? I'm just a simple peasant.... + +TROFIMOV. Your father was a peasant, mine was a chemist, and that means +absolutely nothing. [LOPAKHIN takes out his pocket-book] No, no.... +Even if you gave me twenty thousand I should refuse. I'm a free man. And +everything that all you people, rich and poor, value so highly and so +dearly hasn't the least influence over me; it's like a flock of down in +the wind. I can do without you, I can pass you by. I'm strong and proud. +Mankind goes on to the highest truths and to the highest happiness such +as is only possible on earth, and I go in the front ranks! + +LOPAKHIN. Will you get there? + +TROFIMOV. I will. [Pause] I'll get there and show others the way. [Axes +cutting the trees are heard in the distance.] + +LOPAKHIN. Well, good-bye, old man. It's time to go. Here we stand +pulling one another's noses, but life goes its own way all the time. +When I work for a long time, and I don't get tired, then I think more +easily, and I think I get to understand why I exist. And there are so +many people in Russia, brother, who live for nothing at all. Still, work +goes on without that. Leonid Andreyevitch, they say, has accepted a post +in a bank; he will get sixty thousand roubles a year.... But he won't +stand it; he's very lazy. + +ANYA. [At the door] Mother asks if you will stop them cutting down the +orchard until she has gone away. + +TROFIMOV. Yes, really, you ought to have enough tact not to do that. +[Exit.] + +LOPAKHIN, All right, all right... yes, he's right. [Exit.] + +ANYA. Has Fiers been sent to the hospital? + +YASHA. I gave the order this morning. I suppose they've sent him. + +ANYA. [To EPIKHODOV, who crosses the room] Simeon Panteleyevitch, please +make inquiries if Fiers has been sent to the hospital. + +YASHA. [Offended] I told Egor this morning. What's the use of asking ten +times! + +EPIKHODOV. The aged Fiers, in my conclusive opinion, isn't worth +mending; his forefathers had better have him. I only envy him. [Puts +a trunk on a hat-box and squashes it] Well, of course. I thought so! +[Exit.] + +YASHA. [Grinning] Two-and-twenty troubles. + +VARYA. [Behind the door] Has Fiers been taken away to the hospital? + +ANYA. Yes. + +VARYA. Why didn't they take the letter to the doctor? + +ANYA. It'll have to be sent after him. [Exit.] + +VARYA. [In the next room] Where's Yasha? Tell him his mother's come and +wants to say good-bye to him. + +YASHA. [Waving his hand] She'll make me lose all patience! + +[DUNYASHA has meanwhile been bustling round the luggage; now that YASHA +is left alone, she goes up to him.] + +DUNYASHA. If you only looked at me once, Yasha. You're going away, +leaving me behind. + +[Weeps and hugs him round the neck.] + +YASHA. What's the use of crying? [Drinks champagne] In six days I'll be +again in Paris. To-morrow we get into the express and off we go. I can +hardly believe it. Vive la France! It doesn't suit me here, I can't live +here... it's no good. Well, I've seen the uncivilized world; I have had +enough of it. [Drinks champagne] What do you want to cry for? You behave +yourself properly, and then you won't cry. + +DUNYASHA. [Looks in a small mirror and powders her face] Send me a +letter from Paris. You know I loved you, Yasha, so much! I'm a sensitive +creature, Yasha. + +YASHA. Somebody's coming. + +[He bustles around the luggage, singing softly. Enter LUBOV ANDREYEVNA, +GAEV, ANYA, and CHARLOTTA IVANOVNA.] + +GAEV. We'd better be off. There's no time left. [Looks at YASHA] +Somebody smells of herring! + +LUBOV. We needn't get into our carriages for ten minutes.... [Looks +round the room] Good-bye, dear house, old grandfather. The winter will +go, the spring will come, and then you'll exist no more, you'll be +pulled down. How much these walls have seen! [Passionately kisses her +daughter] My treasure, you're radiant, your eyes flash like two jewels! +Are you happy? Very? + +ANYA. Very! A new life is beginning, mother! + +GAEV. [Gaily] Yes, really, everything's all right now. Before the cherry +orchard was sold we all were excited and we suffered, and then, when +the question was solved once and for all, we all calmed down, and even +became cheerful. I'm a bank official now, and a financier... red in the +middle; and you, Luba, for some reason or other, look better, there's no +doubt about it. + +LUBOV Yes. My nerves are better, it's true. [She puts on her coat and +hat] I sleep well. Take my luggage out, Yasha. It's time. [To ANYA] My +little girl, we'll soon see each other again.... I'm off to Paris. I'll +live there on the money your grandmother from Yaroslav sent along to buy +the estate--bless her!--though it won't last long. + +ANYA. You'll come back soon, soon, mother, won't you? I'll get ready, +and pass the exam at the Higher School, and then I'll work and help +you. We'll read all sorts of books to one another, won't we? [Kisses +her mother's hands] We'll read in the autumn evenings; we'll read +many books, and a beautiful new world will open up before us.... +[Thoughtfully] You'll come, mother.... + +LUBOV. I'll come, my darling. [Embraces her.] + +[Enter LOPAKHIN. CHARLOTTA is singing to herself.] + +GAEV. Charlotta is happy; she sings! + +CHARLOTTA. [Takes a bundle, looking like a wrapped-up baby] My little +baby, bye-bye. [The baby seems to answer, "Oua! Oua!"] Hush, my nice +little boy. ["Oua! Oua!"] I'm so sorry for you! [Throws the bundle back] +So please find me a new place. I can't go on like this. + +LOPAKHIN. We'll find one, Charlotta Ivanovna, don't you be afraid. + +GAEV. Everybody's leaving us. Varya's going away... we've suddenly +become unnecessary. + +CHARLOTTA. I've nowhere to live in town. I must go away. [Hums] Never +mind. + +[Enter PISCHIN.] + +LOPAKHIN. Nature's marvel! + +PISCHIN. [Puffing] Oh, let me get my breath back.... I'm fagged out... +My most honoured, give me some water.... + +GAEV. Come for money, what? I'm your humble servant, and I'm going out +of the way of temptation. [Exit.] + +PISCHIN. I haven't been here for ever so long... dear madam. [To +LOPAKHIN] You here? Glad to see you... man of immense brain... take +this... take it.... [Gives LOPAKHIN money] Four hundred roubles.... That +leaves 840.... + +LOPAKHIN. [Shrugs his shoulders in surprise] As if I were dreaming. +Where did you get this from? + +PISCHIN. Stop... it's hot.... A most unexpected thing happened. Some +Englishmen came along and found some white clay on my land.... [To LUBOV +ANDREYEVNA] And here's four hundred for you... beautiful lady.... [Gives +her money] Give you the rest later.... [Drinks water] Just now a young +man in the train was saying that some great philosopher advises us all +to jump off roofs. "Jump!" he says, and that's all. [Astonished] To +think of that, now! More water! + +LOPAKHIN. Who were these Englishmen? + +PISCHIN. I've leased off the land with the clay to them for twenty-four +years.... Now, excuse me, I've no time.... I must run off.... I must +go to Znoikov and to Kardamonov... I owe them all money.... [Drinks] +Good-bye. I'll come in on Thursday. + +LUBOV. We're just off to town, and to-morrow I go abroad. + +PISCHIN. [Agitated] What? Why to town? I see furniture... trunks.... +Well, never mind. [Crying] Never mind. These Englishmen are men of +immense intellect.... Never mind.... Be happy.... God will help you.... +Never mind.... Everything in this world comes to an end.... [Kisses +LUBOV ANDREYEVNA'S hand] And if you should happen to hear that my end +has come, just remember this old... horse and say: "There was one +such and such a Simeonov-Pischin, God bless his soul...." Wonderful +weather... yes.... [Exit deeply moved, but returns at once and says in +the door] Dashenka sent her love! [Exit.] + +LUBOV. Now we can go. I've two anxieties, though. The first is poor +Fiers [Looks at her watch] We've still five minutes.... + +ANYA. Mother, Fiers has already been sent to the hospital. Yasha sent +him off this morning. + +LUBOV. The second is Varya. She's used to getting up early and to work, +and now she's no work to do she's like a fish out of water. She's grown +thin and pale, and she cries, poor thing.... [Pause] You know very well, +Ermolai Alexeyevitch, that I used to hope to marry her to you, and I +suppose you are going to marry somebody? [Whispers to ANYA, who nods to +CHARLOTTA, and they both go out] She loves you, she's your sort, and I +don't understand, I really don't, why you seem to be keeping away from +each other. I don't understand! + +LOPAKHIN. To tell the truth, I don't understand it myself. It's all so +strange.... If there's still time, I'll be ready at once... Let's get it +over, once and for all; I don't feel as if I could ever propose to her +without you. + +LUBOV. Excellent. It'll only take a minute. I'll call her. + +LOPAKHIN. The champagne's very appropriate. [Looking at the tumblers] +They're empty, somebody's already drunk them. [YASHA coughs] I call that +licking it up.... + +LUBOV. [Animated] Excellent. We'll go out. Yasha, allez. I'll call her +in.... [At the door] Varya, leave that and come here. Come! [Exit with +YASHA.] + +LOPAKHIN. [Looks at his watch] Yes.... [Pause.] + +[There is a restrained laugh behind the door, a whisper, then VARYA +comes in.] + +VARYA. [Looking at the luggage in silence] I can't seem to find it.... + +LOPAKHIN. What are you looking for? + +VARYA. I packed it myself and I don't remember. [Pause.] + +LOPAKHIN. Where are you going to now, Barbara Mihailovna? + +VARYA. I? To the Ragulins.... I've got an agreement to go and look after +their house... as housekeeper or something. + +LOPAKHIN. Is that at Yashnevo? It's about fifty miles. [Pause] So life +in this house is finished now.... + +VARYA. [Looking at the luggage] Where is it?... perhaps I've put it away +in the trunk.... Yes, there'll be no more life in this house.... + +LOPAKHIN. And I'm off to Kharkov at once... by this train. I've a lot of +business on hand. I'm leaving Epikhodov here... I've taken him on. + +VARYA. Well, well! + +LOPAKHIN. Last year at this time the snow was already falling, if you +remember, and now it's nice and sunny. Only it's rather cold.... There's +three degrees of frost. + +VARYA. I didn't look. [Pause] And our thermometer's broken.... [Pause.] + +VOICE AT THE DOOR. Ermolai Alexeyevitch! + +LOPAKHIN. [As if he has long been waiting to be called] This minute. +[Exit quickly.] + +[VARYA, sitting on the floor, puts her face on a bundle of clothes and +weeps gently. The door opens. LUBOV ANDREYEVNA enters carefully.] + +LUBOV. Well? [Pause] We must go. + +VARYA. [Not crying now, wipes her eyes] Yes, it's quite time, little +mother. I'll get to the Ragulins to-day, if I don't miss the train.... + +LUBOV. [At the door] Anya, put on your things. [Enter ANYA, then GAEV, +CHARLOTTA IVANOVNA. GAEV wears a warm overcoat with a cape. A servant +and drivers come in. EPIKHODOV bustles around the luggage] Now we can go +away. + +ANYA. [Joyfully] Away! + +GAEV. My friends, my dear friends! Can I be silent, in leaving this +house for evermore?--can I restrain myself, in saying farewell, from +expressing those feelings which now fill my whole being...? + +ANYA. [Imploringly] Uncle! + +VARYA. Uncle, you shouldn't! + +GAEV. [Stupidly] Double the red into the middle.... I'll be quiet. + +[Enter TROFIMOV, then LOPAKHIN.] + +TROFIMOV. Well, it's time to be off. + +LOPAKHIN. Epikhodov, my coat! + +LUBOV. I'll sit here one more minute. It's as if I'd never really +noticed what the walls and ceilings of this house were like, and now I +look at them greedily, with such tender love.... + +GAEV. I remember, when I was six years old, on Trinity Sunday, I sat at +this window and looked and saw my father going to church.... + +LUBOV. Have all the things been taken away? + +LOPAKHIN. Yes, all, I think. [To EPIKHODOV, putting on his coat] You see +that everything's quite straight, Epikhodov. + +EPIKHODOV. [Hoarsely] You may depend upon me, Ermolai Alexeyevitch! + +LOPAKHIN. What's the matter with your voice? + +EPIKHODOV. I swallowed something just now; I was having a drink of +water. + +YASHA. [Suspiciously] What manners.... + +LUBOV. We go away, and not a soul remains behind. + +LOPAKHIN. Till the spring. + +VARYA. [Drags an umbrella out of a bundle, and seems to be waving it +about. LOPAKHIN appears to be frightened] What are you doing?... I never +thought... + +TROFIMOV. Come along, let's take our seats... it's time! The train will +be in directly. + +VARYA. Peter, here they are, your goloshes, by that trunk. [In tears] +And how old and dirty they are.... + +TROFIMOV. [Putting them on] Come on! + +GAEV. [Deeply moved, nearly crying] The train... the station.... Cross +in the middle, a white double in the corner.... + +LUBOV. Let's go! + +LOPAKHIN. Are you all here? There's nobody else? [Locks the side-door on +the left] There's a lot of things in there. I must lock them up. Come! + +ANYA. Good-bye, home! Good-bye, old life! + +TROFIMOV. Welcome, new life! [Exit with ANYA.] + +[VARYA looks round the room and goes out slowly. YASHA and CHARLOTTA, +with her little dog, go out.] + +LOPAKHIN. Till the spring, then! Come on... till we meet again! [Exit.] + +[LUBOV ANDREYEVNA and GAEV are left alone. They might almost have been +waiting for that. They fall into each other's arms and sob restrainedly +and quietly, fearing that somebody might hear them.] + +GAEV. [In despair] My sister, my sister.... + +LUBOV. My dear, my gentle, beautiful orchard! My life, my youth, my +happiness, good-bye! Good-bye! + +ANYA'S VOICE. [Gaily] Mother! + +TROFIMOV'S VOICE. [Gaily, excited] Coo-ee! + +LUBOV. To look at the walls and the windows for the last time.... My +dead mother used to like to walk about this room.... + +GAEV. My sister, my sister! + +ANYA'S VOICE. Mother! + +TROFIMOV'S VOICE. Coo-ee! + +LUBOV. We're coming! [They go out.] + +[The stage is empty. The sound of keys being turned in the locks is +heard, and then the noise of the carriages going away. It is quiet. Then +the sound of an axe against the trees is heard in the silence sadly and +by itself. Steps are heard. FIERS comes in from the door on the right. +He is dressed as usual, in a short jacket and white waistcoat; slippers +on his feet. He is ill. He goes to the door and tries the handle.] + +FIERS. It's locked. They've gone away. [Sits on a sofa] They've +forgotten about me.... Never mind, I'll sit here.... And Leonid +Andreyevitch will have gone in a light overcoat instead of putting on +his fur coat.... [Sighs anxiously] I didn't see.... Oh, these young +people! [Mumbles something that cannot be understood] Life's gone on as +if I'd never lived. [Lying down] I'll lie down.... You've no strength +left in you, nothing left at all.... Oh, you... bungler! + +[He lies without moving. The distant sound is heard, as if from the sky, +of a breaking string, dying away sadly. Silence follows it, and only the +sound is heard, some way away in the orchard, of the axe falling on the +trees.] + +Curtain. + + + + + +End of Project Gutenberg's Plays by Chekhov, Second Series, by Anton Chekhov + +*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK PLAYS BY CHEKHOV, SECOND SERIES *** + +***** This file should be named 7986-8.txt or 7986-8.zip ***** +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: + http://www.gutenberg.org/7/9/8/7986/ + +Produced by James Rusk and Nicole Apostola + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: Plays by Chekhov, Second Series + On the High Road, The Proposal, The Wedding, The Bear, A + Tragedian In Spite of Himself, The Anniversary, The Three + Sisters, The Cherry Orchard + +Author: Anton Chekhov + +Release Date: August 8, 2009 [EBook #7986] +Last Updated: September 10, 2016 + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: UTF-8 + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK PLAYS BY CHEKHOV, SECOND SERIES *** + + + + +Produced by James Rusk, Nicole Apostola, and David Widger + + + + + + +</pre> + + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <h1> + PLAYS BY ANTON CHEKHOV,<br /> SECOND SERIES + </h1> + <h2> + By Anton Chekhov + </h2> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <h3> + Translated, with an Introduction, by Julius West + </h3> + <h5> + [The First Series Plays have been previously published<br /> by Project + Gutenberg in etext numbers: 1753 through 1756] + </h5> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <blockquote> + <p class="toc"> + <big><b>CONTENTS</b></big> + </p> + <p> + <br /> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2H_INTR"> INTRODUCTION </a> + </p> + <p> + <br /> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2H_4_0002"> <b>ON THE HIGH ROAD</b> </a> + </p> + <p> + <br /> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2H_4_0003"> <b>THE PROPOSAL</b> </a> + </p> + <p> + <br /> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2H_4_0004"> <b>THE WEDDING</b> </a> + </p> + <p> + <br /> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2H_4_0005"> <b>THE BEAR</b> </a> + </p> + <p> + <br /> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2H_4_0006"> <b>A TRAGEDIAN IN SPITE OF HIMSELF</b> </a> + </p> + <p> + <br /> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2H_4_0007"> <b>THE ANNIVERSARY</b> </a> + </p> + <p> + <br /> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2H_4_0008"> <b>THE THREE SISTERS</b> </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2H_4_0009"> ACT I </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2H_4_0010"> ACT II </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2H_4_0011"> ACT III </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2H_4_0012"> ACT IV </a> + </p> + <p> + <br /> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2H_4_0013"> <b>THE CHERRY ORCHARD</b> </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2H_4_0014"> ACT ONE </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2H_4_0015"> ACT TWO </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2H_4_0016"> ACT THREE </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2H_4_0017"> ACT FOUR </a> + </p> + </blockquote> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <br /> <br /> <a name="link2H_INTR" id="link2H_INTR"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <h2> + INTRODUCTION + </h2> + <p> + The last few years have seen a large and generally unsystematic mass of + translations from the Russian flung at the heads and hearts of English + readers. The ready acceptance of Chekhov has been one of the few + successful features of this irresponsible output. He has been welcomed by + British critics with something like affection. Bernard Shaw has several + times remarked: “Every time I see a play by Chekhov, I want to chuck all + my own stuff into the fire.” Others, having no such valuable property to + sacrifice on the altar of Chekhov, have not hesitated to place him side by + side with Ibsen, and the other established institutions of the new + theatre. For these reasons it is pleasant to be able to chronicle the fact + that, by way of contrast with the casual treatment normally handed out to + Russian authors, the publishers are issuing the complete dramatic works of + this author. In 1912 they brought out a volume containing four Chekhov + plays, translated by Marian Fell. All the dramatic works not included in + her volume are to be found in the present one. With the exception of + Chekhov’s masterpiece, “The Cherry Orchard” (translated by the late Mr. + George Calderon in 1912), none of these plays have been previously + published in book form in England or America. + </p> + <p> + It is not the business of a translator to attempt to outdo all others in + singing the praises of his raw material. This is a dangerous process and + may well lead, as it led Mr. Calderon, to drawing the reader’s attention + to points of beauty not to be found in the original. A few bibliographical + details are equally necessary, and permissible, and the elementary + principles of Chekhov criticism will also be found useful. + </p> + <p> + The very existence of “The High Road” (1884); probably the earliest of its + author’s plays, will be unsuspected by English readers. During Chekhov’s + lifetime it a sort of family legend, after his death it became a family + mystery. A copy was finally discovered only last year in the Censor’s + office, yielded up, and published. It had been sent in 1885 under the + nom-de-plume “A. Chekhonte,” and it had failed to pass. The Censor, of the + time being had scrawled his opinion on the manuscript, “a depressing and + dirty piece,—cannot be licensed.” The name of the gentleman who held + this view—Kaiser von Kugelgen—gives another reason for the + educated Russian’s low opinion of German-sounding institutions. Baron von + Tuzenbach, the satisfactory person in “The Three Sisters,” it will be + noted, finds it as well, while he is trying to secure the favours of + Irina, to declare that his German ancestry is fairly remote. This is by + way of parenthesis. “The High Road,” found after thirty years, is a most + interesting document to the lover of Chekhov. Every play he wrote in later + years was either a one-act farce or a four-act drama. [Note: “The Swan + Song” may occur as an exception. This, however, is more of a Shakespeare + recitation than anything else, and so neither here nor there.] + </p> + <p> + In “The High Road” we see, in an embryonic form, the whole later method of + the plays—the deliberate contrast between two strong characters + (Bortsov and Merik in this case), the careful individualization of each + person in a fairly large group by way of an introduction to the main + theme, the concealment of the catastrophe, germ-wise, in the actual + character of the characters, and the of a distinctive group-atmosphere. It + need scarcely be stated that “The High Road” is not a “dirty” piece + according to Russian or to German standards; Chekhov was incapable of + writing a dirty play or story. For the rest, this piece differs from the + others in its presentation, not of Chekhov’s favourite middle-classes, but + of the moujik, nourishing, in a particularly stuffy atmosphere, an intense + mysticism and an equally intense thirst for vodka. + </p> + <p> + “The Proposal” (1889) and “The Bear” (1890) may be taken as good examples + of the sort of humour admired by the average Russian. The latter play, in + another translation, was put on as a curtain-raiser to a cinematograph + entertainment at a London theatre in 1914; and had quite a pleasant + reception from a thoroughly Philistine audience. The humour is very nearly + of the variety most popular over here, the psychology is a shade subtler. + The Russian novelist or dramatist takes to psychology as some of his + fellow-countrymen take to drink; in doing this he achieves fame by showing + us what we already know, and at the same time he kills his own creative + power. Chekhov just escaped the tragedy of suicide by introspection, and + was only enabled to do this by the possession of a sense of humour. That + is why we should not regard “The Bear,” “The Wedding,” or “The + Anniversary” as the work of a merely humorous young man, but as the saving + graces which made perfect “The Cherry Orchard.” + </p> + <p> + “The Three Sisters” (1901) is said to act better than any other of + Chekhov’s plays, and should surprise an English audience exceedingly. It + and “The Cherry Orchard” are the tragedies of doing nothing. The three + sisters have only one desire in the world, to go to Moscow and live there. + There is no reason on earth, economic, sentimental, or other, why they + should not pack their bags and take the next train to Moscow. But they + will not do it. They cannot do it. And we know perfectly well that if they + were transplanted thither miraculously, they would be extremely unhappy as + soon as ever the excitement of the miracle had worn off. In the other play + Mme. Ranevsky can be saved from ruin if she will only consent to a + perfectly simple step—the sale of an estate. She cannot do this, is + ruined, and thrown out into the unsympathetic world. Chekhov is the + dramatist, not of action, but of inaction. The tragedy of inaction is as + overwhelming, when we understand it, as the tragedy of an Othello, or a + Lear, crushed by the wickedness of others. The former is being enacted + daily, but we do not stage it, we do not know how. But who shall deny that + the base of almost all human unhappiness is just this inaction, + manifesting itself in slovenliness of thought and execution, education, + and ideal? + </p> + <p> + The Russian, painfully conscious of his own weakness, has accepted this + point of view, and regards “The Cherry Orchard” as its master-study in + dramatic form. They speak of the palpitating hush which fell upon the + audience of the Moscow Art Theatre after the first fall of the curtain at + the first performance—a hush so intense as to make Chekhov’s friends + undergo the initial emotions of assisting at a vast theatrical failure. + But the silence ryes almost a sob, to be followed, when overcome, by an + epic applause. And, a few months later, Chekhov died. + </p> + <p> + This volume and that of Marian Fell—with which it is uniform—contain + all the dramatic works of Chekhov. It considered not worth while to + translate a few fragments published posthumously, or a monologue “On the + Evils of Tobacco”—a half humorous lecture by “the husband of his + wife;” which begins “Ladies, and in some respects, gentlemen,” as this is + hardly dramatic work. There is also a very short skit on the efficiency of + provincial fire brigades, which was obviously not intended for the stage + and has therefore been omitted. + </p> + <p> + Lastly, the scheme of transliteration employed has been that, generally + speaking, recommended by the Liverpool School of Russian Studies. This is + distinctly the best of those in the field, but as it would compel one, + e.g., to write a popular female name, “Marya,” I have not treated it + absolute respect. For the sake of uniformity with Fell’s volume, the + author’s name is spelt Tchekoff on the title-page and cover. + </p> + <p> + J. W. <br /> <br /> + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <br /> <br /> RUSSIAN WEIGHTS AND MEASURES AND MONEY EMPLOYED IN THE PLAYS, + WITH ENGLISH EQUIVALENTS + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + 1 verst = 3600 feet = 2/3 mile (almost) + 1 arshin = 28 inches + 1 dessiatin = 2.7 acres + 1 copeck = 1/4 d + 1 rouble = 100 copecks = 2s. 1d. +</pre> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div class="play"> + <a name="link2H_4_0002" id="link2H_4_0002"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + ON THE HIGH ROAD + </h2> + <h3> + A DRAMATIC STUDY + </h3> + CHARACTERS +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + TIHON EVSTIGNEYEV, the proprietor of a inn on the main road + SEMYON SERGEYEVITCH BORTSOV, a ruined landowner + MARIA EGOROVNA, his wife + SAVVA, an aged pilgrim + NAZAROVNA and EFIMOVNA, women pilgrims + FEDYA, a labourer + EGOR MERIK, a tramp + KUSMA, a driver + POSTMAN + BORTSOV’S WIFE’S COACHMAN + PILGRIMS, CATTLE-DEALERS, ETC. +</pre> + <p> + The action takes place in one of the provinces of Southern Russia + </p> + <p> + [The scene is laid in TIHON’S bar. On the right is the bar-counter and + shelves with bottles. At the back is a door leading out of the house. + Over it, on the outside, hangs a dirty red lantern. The floor and the + forms, which stand against the wall, are closely occupied by pilgrims + and passers-by. Many of them, for lack of space, are sleeping as they + sit. It is late at night. As the curtain rises thunder is heard, and + lightning is seen through the door.] + </p> + <p> + [TIHON is behind the counter. FEDYA is half-lying in a heap on one of + the forms, and is quietly playing on a concertina. Next to him is + BORTSOV, wearing a shabby summer overcoat. SAVVA, NAZAROVNA, and + EFIMOVNA are stretched out on the floor by the benches.] + </p> + <p> + EFIMOVNA. [To NAZAROVNA] Give the old man a nudge dear! Can’t get any + answer out of him. + </p> + <p> + NAZAROVNA. [Lifting the corner of a cloth covering of SAVVA’S face] Are + you alive or are you dead, you holy man? + </p> + <p> + SAVVA. Why should I be dead? I’m alive, mother! [Raises himself on his + elbow] Cover up my feet, there’s a saint! That’s it. A bit more on the + right one. That’s it, mother. God be good to us. + </p> + <p> + NAZAROVNA. [Wrapping up SAVVA’S feet] Sleep, little father. + </p> + <p> + SAVVA. What sleep can I have? If only I had the patience to endure this + pain, mother; sleep’s quite another matter. A sinner doesn’t deserve to + be given rest. What’s that noise, pilgrim-woman? + </p> + <p> + NAZAROVNA. God is sending a storm. The wind is wailing, and the rain is + pouring down, pouring down. All down the roof and into the windows like + dried peas. Do you hear? The windows of heaven are opened... [Thunder] + Holy, holy, holy... + </p> + <p> + FEDYA. And it roars and thunders, and rages, sad there’s no end to it! + Hoooo... it’s like the noise of a forest.... Hoooo.... The wind is + wailing like a dog.... [Shrinking back] It’s cold! My clothes are wet, + it’s all coming in through the open door... you might put me through a + wringer.... [Plays softly] My concertina’s damp, and so there’s no music + for you, my Orthodox brethren, or else I’d give you such a concert, my + word!—Something marvellous! You can have a quadrille, or a polka, + if you like, or some Russian dance for two.... I can do them all. In the + town, where I was an attendant at the Grand Hotel, I couldn’t make any + money, but I did wonders on my concertina. And, I can play the guitar. + </p> + <p> + A VOICE FROM THE CORNER. A silly speech from a silly fool. + </p> + <p> + FEDYA. I can hear another of them. [Pause.] + </p> + <p> + NAZAROVNA. [To SAVVA] If you’d only lie where it was warm now, old man, + and warm your feet. [Pause.] Old man! Man of God! [Shakes SAVVA] Are you + going to die? + </p> + <p> + FEDYA. You ought to drink a little vodka, grandfather. Drink, and it’ll + burn, burn in your stomach, and warm up your heart. Drink, do! + </p> + <p> + NAZAROVNA. Don’t swank, young man! Perhaps the old man is giving back + his soul to God, or repenting for his sins, and you talk like that, and + play your concertina.... Put it down! You’ve no shame! + </p> + <p> + FEDYA. And what are you sticking to him for? He can’t do anything and + you... with your old women’s talk... He can’t say a word in reply, and + you’re glad, and happy because he’s listening to your nonsense.... You + go on sleeping, grandfather; never mind her! Let her talk, don’t you + take any notice of her. A woman’s tongue is the devil’s broom—it + will sweep the good man and the clever man both out of the house. Don’t + you mind.... [Waves his hands] But it’s thin you are, brother of mine! + Terrible! Like a dead skeleton! No life in you! Are you really dying? + </p> + <p> + SAVVA. Why should I die? Save me, O Lord, from dying in vain.... I’ll + suffer a little, and then get up with God’s help.... The Mother of God + won’t let me die in a strange land.... I’ll die at home. + </p> + <p> + FEDYA. Are you from far off? + </p> + <p> + SAVVA. From Vologda. The town itself.... I live there. + </p> + <p> + FEDYA. And where is this Vologda? + </p> + <p> + TIHON. The other side of Moscow.... + </p> + <p> + FEDYA. Well, well, well.... You have come a long way, old man! On foot? + </p> + <p> + SAVVA. On foot, young man. I’ve been to Tihon of the Don, and I’m going + to the Holy Hills. [Note: On the Donetz, south-east of Kharkov; a + monastery containing a miraculous ikon.]... From there, if God wills it, + to Odessa.... They say you can get to Jerusalem cheap from there, for + twenty-ones roubles, they say.... + </p> + <p> + FEDYA. And have you been to Moscow? + </p> + <p> + SAVVA. Rather! Five times.... + </p> + <p> + FEDYA. Is it a good town? [Smokes] Well-standing? + </p> + <p> + Sews. There are many holy places there, young man.... Where there are + many holy places it’s always a good town.... + </p> + <p> + BORTSOV. [Goes up to the counter, to TIHON] Once more, please! For the + sake of Christ, give it to me! + </p> + <p> + FEDYA. The chief thing about a town is that it should be clean. If it’s + dusty, it must be watered; if it’s dirty, it must be cleaned. There + ought to be big houses... a theatre... police... cabs, which... I’ve + lived in a town myself, I understand. + </p> + <p> + BORTSOV. Just a little glass. I’ll pay you for it later. + </p> + <p> + TIHON. That’s enough now. + </p> + <p> + BORTSOV. I ask you! Do be kind to me! + </p> + <p> + TIHON. Get away! + </p> + <p> + BORTSOV. You don’t understand me.... Understand me, you fool, if there’s + a drop of brain in your peasant’s wooden head, that it isn’t I who am + asking you, but my inside, using the words you understand, that’s what’s + asking! My illness is what’s asking! Understand! + </p> + <p> + TIHON. We don’t understand anything.... Get back! + </p> + <p> + BORTSOV. Because if I don’t have a drink at once, just you understand + this, if I don’t satisfy my needs, I may commit some crime. God only + knows what I might do! In the time you’ve kept this place, you rascal, + haven’t you seen a lot of drunkards, and haven’t you yet got to + understand what they’re like? They’re diseased! You can do anything you + like to them, but you must give them vodka! Well, now, I implore you! + Please! I humbly ask you! God only knows how humbly! + </p> + <p> + TIHON. You can have the vodka if you pay for it. + </p> + <p> + BORTSOV. Where am I to get the money? I’ve drunk it all! Down to the + ground! What can I give you? I’ve only got this coat, but I can’t give + you that. I’ve nothing on underneath.... Would you like my cap? [Takes + it off and gives it to TIHON] + </p> + <p> + TIHON. [Looks it over] Hm.... There are all sorts of caps.... It might + be a sieve from the holes in it.... + </p> + <p> + FEDYA. [Laughs] A gentleman’s cap! You’ve got to take it off in front of + the mam’selles. How do you do, good-bye! How are you? + </p> + <p> + TIHON. [Returns the cap to BORTSOV] I wouldn’t give anything for it. + It’s muck. + </p> + <p> + BORTSOV. If you don’t like it, then let me owe you for the drink! I’ll + bring in your five copecks on my way back from town. You can take it and + choke yourself with it then! Choke yourself! I hope it sticks in your + throat! [Coughs] I hate you! + </p> + <p> + TIHON. [Banging the bar-counter with his fist] Why do you keep on like + that? What a man! What are you here for, you swindler? + </p> + <p> + BORTSOV. I want a drink! It’s not I, it’s my disease! Understand that! + </p> + <p> + TIHON. Don’t you make me lose my temper, or you’ll soon find yourself + outside! + </p> + <p> + BORTSOV. What am I to do? [Retires from the bar-counter] What am I to + do? [Is thoughtful.] + </p> + <p> + EFIMOVNA. It’s the devil tormenting you. Don’t you mind him, sir. The + damned one keeps whispering, “Drink! Drink!” And you answer him, “I + shan’t drink! I shan’t drink!” He’ll go then. + </p> + <p> + FEDYA. It’s drumming in his head.... His stomach’s leading him on! + [Laughs] Your houour’s a happy man. Lie down and go to sleep! What’s the + use of standing like a scarecrow in the middle of the inn! This isn’t an + orchard! + </p> + <p> + BORTSOV. [Angrily] Shut up! Nobody spoke to you, you donkey. + </p> + <p> + FEDYA. Go on, go on! We’ve seen the like of you before! There’s a lot + like you tramping the high road! As to being a donkey, you wait till + I’ve given you a clout on the ear and you’ll howl worse than the wind. + Donkey yourself! Fool! [Pause] Scum! + </p> + <p> + NAZAROVNA. The old man may be saying a prayer, or giving up his soul to + God, and here are these unclean ones wrangling with one another and + saying all sorts of... Have shame on yourselves! + </p> + <p> + FEDYA. Here, you cabbage-stalk, you keep quiet, even if you are in a + public-house. Just you behave like everybody else. + </p> + <p> + BORTSOV. What am I to do? What will become of me? How can I make him + understand? What else can I say to him? [To TIHON] The blood’s boiling + in my chest! Uncle Tihon! [Weeps] Uncle Tihon! + </p> + <p> + SAWA. [Groans] I’ve got shooting-pains in my leg, like bullets of + fire.... Little mother, pilgrim. + </p> + <p> + EFIMOVNA. What is it, little father? + </p> + <p> + SAVVA. Who’s that crying? + </p> + <p> + EFIMOVNA. The gentleman. + </p> + <p> + SAVVA. Ask him to shed a tear for me, that I might die in Vologda. + Tearful prayers are heard. + </p> + <p> + BORTSOV. I’m not praying, grandfather! These aren’t tears! Just juice! + My soul is crushed; and the juice is running. [Sits by SAVVA] Juice! But + you wouldn’t understand! You, with your darkened brain, wouldn’t + understand. You people are all in the dark! + </p> + <p> + SAVVA. Where will you find those who live in the light? + </p> + <p> + BORTSOV. They do exist, grandfather.... They would understand! + </p> + <p> + SAVVA. Yes, yes, dear friend.... The saints lived in the light.... They + understood all our griefs.... You needn’t even tell them.... and they’ll + understand.... Just by looking at your eyes.... And then you’ll have + such peace, as if you were never in grief at all—it will all go! + </p> + <p> + FEDYA. And have you ever seen any saints? + </p> + <p> + SAVVA. It has happened, young man.... There are many of all sorts on + this earth. Sinners, and servants of God. + </p> + <p> + BORTSOV. I don’t understand all this.... [Gets up quickly] What’s the + use of talking when you don’t understand, and what sort of a brain have + I now? I’ve only an instinct, a thirst! [Goes quickly to the counter] + Tihon, take my coat! Understand? [Tries to take it off] My coat... + </p> + <p> + TIHON. And what is there under your coat? [Looks under it] Your naked + body? Don’t take it off, I shan’t have it.... I’m not going to burden my + soul with a sin. + </p> + <p> + [Enter MERIK.] + </p> + <p> + BORTSOV. Very well, I’ll take the sin on myself! Do you agree? + </p> + <p> + MERIK. [In silence takes of his outer cloak and remains in a sleeveless + jacket. He carries an axe in his belt] A vagrant may sweat where a bear + will freeze. I am hot. [Puts his axe on the floor and takes off his + jacket] You get rid of a pailful of sweat while you drag one leg out of + the mud. And while you are dragging it out, the other one goes farther + in. + </p> + <p> + EFIMOVNA. Yes, that’s true... is the rain stopping, dear? + </p> + <p> + MERIK. [Glancing at EFIMOVNA] I don’t talk to old women. [A pause.] + </p> + <p> + BORTSOV. [To TIHON] I’ll take the sin on myself. Do you hear me or don’t + you? + </p> + <p> + TIHON. I don’t want to hear you, get away! + </p> + <p> + MERIK. It’s as dark as if the sky was painted with pitch. You can’t see + your own nose. And the rain beats into your face like a snowstorm! + [Picks up his clothes and axe.] + </p> + <p> + FEDYA. It’s a good thing for the likes of us thieves. When the cat’s + away the mice will play. + </p> + <p> + MERIK. Who says that? + </p> + <p> + FEDYA. Look and see... before you forget. + </p> + <p> + MERIN. We’ll make a note of it.... [Goes up to TIHON] How do you do, you + with the large face! Don’t you remember me. + </p> + <p> + TIHON. If I’m to remember every one of you drunkards that walks the high + road, I reckon I’d need ten holes in my forehead. + </p> + <p> + MERIK. Just look at me.... [A pause.] + </p> + <p> + TIHON. Oh, yes; I remember. I knew you by your eyes! [Gives him his + hand] Andrey Polikarpov? + </p> + <p> + MERIK. I used to be Andrey Polikarpov, but now I am Egor Merik. + </p> + <p> + TIHON. Why’s that? + </p> + <p> + MERIK. I call myself after whatever passport God gives me. I’ve been + Merik for two months. [Thunder] Rrrr.... Go on thundering, I’m not + afraid! [Looks round] Any police here? + </p> + <p> + TIHON. What are you talking about, making mountains out of + mole-hills?... The people here are all right... The police are fast + asleep in their feather beds now.... [Loudly] Orthodox brothers, mind + your pockets and your clothes, or you’ll have to regret it. The man’s a + rascal! He’ll rob you! + </p> + <p> + MERIK. They can look out for their money, but as to their clothes—I + shan’t touch them. I’ve nowhere to take them. + </p> + <p> + TIHON. Where’s the devil taking you to? + </p> + <p> + MERIK. To Kuban. + </p> + <p> + TIHON. My word! + </p> + <p> + FEDYA. To Kuban? Really? [Sitting up] It’s a fine place. You wouldn’t + see such a country, brother, if you were to fall asleep and dream for + three years. They say the birds there, and the beasts are—my God! + The grass grows all the year round, the people are good, and they’ve so + much land they don’t know what to do with it! The authorities, they + say... a soldier was telling me the other day... give a hundred + dessiatins ahead. There’s happiness, God strike me! + </p> + <p> + MERIK. Happiness.... Happiness goes behind you.... You don’t see it. + It’s as near as your elbow is, but you can’t bite it. It’s all silly.... + [Looking round at the benches and the people] Like a lot of + prisoners.... A poor lot. + </p> + <p> + EFIMOVNA. [To MERIK] What great, angry, eyes! There’s an enemy in you, + young man.... Don’t you look at us! + </p> + <p> + MERIK. Yes, you’re a poor lot here. + </p> + <p> + EFIMOVNA. Turn away! [Nudges SAVVA] Savva, darling, a wicked man is + looking at us. He’ll do us harm, dear. [To MERIK] Turn away, I tell you, + you snake! + </p> + <p> + SAVVA. He won’t touch us, mother, he won’t touch us.... God won’t let + him. + </p> + <p> + MERIK. All right, Orthodox brothers! [Shrugs his shoulders] Be quiet! + You aren’t asleep, you bandy-legged fools! Why don’t you say something? + </p> + <p> + EFIMOVNA. Take your great eyes away! Take away that devil’s own pride! + </p> + <p> + MERIK. Be quiet, you crooked old woman! I didn’t come with the devil’s + pride, but with kind words, wishing to honour your bitter lot! You’re + huddled together like flies because of the cold—I’d be sorry for + you, speak kindly to you, pity your poverty, and here you go grumbling + away! [Goes up to FEDYA] Where are you from? + </p> + <p> + FEDYA. I live in these parts. I work at the Khamonyevsky brickworks. + </p> + <p> + MERIK. Get up. + </p> + <p> + FEDYA. [Raising himself] Well? + </p> + <p> + MERIK. Get up, right up. I’m going to lie down here. + </p> + <p> + FEDYA. What’s that.... It isn’t your place, is it? + </p> + <p> + MERIK. Yes, mine. Go and lie on the ground! + </p> + <p> + FEDYA. You get out of this, you tramp. I’m not afraid of you. + </p> + <p> + MERIK. You’re very quick with your tongue.... Get up, and don’t talk + about it! You’ll be sorry for it, you silly. + </p> + <p> + TIHON. [To FEDYA] Don’t contradict him, young man. Never mind. + </p> + <p> + FEDYA. What right have you? You stick out your fishy eyes and think I’m + afraid! [Picks up his belongings and stretches himself out on the + ground] You devil! [Lies down and covers himself all over.] + </p> + <p> + MERIK. [Stretching himself out on the bench] I don’t expect you’ve ever + seen a devil or you wouldn’t call me one. Devils aren’t like that. [Lies + down, putting his axe next to him.] Lie down, little brother axe... let + me cover you. + </p> + <p> + TIHON. Where did you get the axe from? + </p> + <p> + MERIK. Stole it.... Stole it, and now I’ve got to fuss over it like a + child with a new toy; I don’t like to throw it away, and I’ve nowhere to + put it. Like a beastly wife.... Yes.... [Covering himself over] Devils + aren’t like that, brother. + </p> + <p> + FEDYA. [Uncovering his head] What are they like? + </p> + <p> + MERIK. Like steam, like air.... Just blow into the air. [Blows] They’re + like that, you can’t see them. + </p> + <p> + A VOICE FROM THE CORNER. You can see them if you sit under a harrow. + </p> + <p> + MERIK. I’ve tried, but I didn’t see any.... Old women’s tales, and silly + old men’s, too.... You won’t see a devil or a ghost or a corpse.... Our + eyes weren’t made so that we could see everything.... When I was a boy, + I used to walk in the woods at night on purpose to see the demon of the + woods.... I’d shout and shout, and there might be some spirit, I’d call + for the demon of the woods and not blink my eyes: I’d see all sorts of + little things moving about, but no demon. I used to go and walk about + the churchyards at night, I wanted to see the ghosts—but the women + lie. I saw all sorts of animals, but anything awful—not a sign. + Our eyes weren’t... + </p> + <p> + THE VOICE FROM THE CORNER. Never mind, it does happen that you do + see.... In our village a man was gutting a wild boar... he was + separating the tripe when... something jumped out at him! + </p> + <p> + SAVVA. [Raising himself] Little children, don’t talk about these unclean + things! It’s a sin, dears! + </p> + <p> + MERIK. Aaa... greybeard! You skeleton! [Laughs] You needn’t go to the + churchyard to see ghosts, when they get up from under the floor to give + advice to their relations.... A sin!... Don’t you teach people your + silly notions! You’re an ignorant lot of people living in darkness.... + [Lights his pipe] My father was peasant and used to be fond of teaching + people. One night he stole a sack of apples from the village priest, and + he brings them along and tells us, “Look, children, mind you don’t eat + any apples before Easter, it’s a sin.” You’re like that.... You don’t + know what a devil is, but you go calling people devils.... Take this + crooked old woman, for instance. [Points to EFIMOVNA] She sees an enemy + in me, but is her time, for some woman’s nonsense or other, she’s given + her soul to the devil five times. + </p> + <p> + EFIMOVNA. Hoo, hoo, hoo.... Gracious heavens! [Covers her face] Little + Savva! + </p> + <p> + TIHON. What are you frightening them for? A great pleasure! [The door + slams in the wind] Lord Jesus.... The wind, the wind! + </p> + <p> + MERIK. [Stretching himself] Eh, to show my strength! [The door slams + again] If I could only measure myself against the wind! Shall I tear the + door down, or suppose I tear up the inn by the roots! [Gets up and lies + down again] How dull! + </p> + <p> + NAZAROVNA. You’d better pray, you heathen! Why are you so restless? + </p> + <p> + EFIMOVNA. Don’t speak to him, leave him alone! He’s looking at us again. + [To MERIK] Don’t look at us, evil man! Your eyes are like the eyes of a + devil before cockcrow! + </p> + <p> + SAVVA. Let him look, pilgrims! You pray, and his eyes won’t do you any + harm. + </p> + <p> + BORTSOV. No, I can’t. It’s too much for my strength! [Goes up to the + counter] Listen, Tihon, I ask you for the last time.... Just half a + glass! + </p> + <p> + TIHON. [Shakes his head] The money! + </p> + <p> + BORTSOV. My God, haven’t I told you! I’ve drunk it all! Where am I to + get it? And you won’t go broke even if you do let me have a drop of + vodka on tick. A glass of it only costs you two copecks, and it will + save me from suffering! I am suffering! Understand! I’m in misery, I’m + suffering! + </p> + <p> + TIHON. Go and tell that to someone else, not to me.... Go and ask the + Orthodox, perhaps they’ll give you some for Christ’s sake, if they feel + like it, but I’ll only give bread for Christ’s sake. + </p> + <p> + BORTSOV. You can rob those wretches yourself, I shan’t.... I won’t do + it! I won’t! Understand? [Hits the bar-counter with his fist] I won’t. + [A pause.] Hm... just wait.... [Turns to the pilgrim women] It’s an + idea, all the same, Orthodox ones! Spare five copecks! My inside asks + for it. I’m ill! + </p> + <p> + FEDYA. Oh, you swindler, with your “spare five copecks.” Won’t you have + some water? + </p> + <p> + BORTSOV. How I am degrading myself! I don’t want it! I don’t want + anything! I was joking! + </p> + <p> + MERIK. You won’t get it out of him, sir.... He’s a famous skinflint.... + Wait, I’ve got a five-copeck piece somewhere.... We’ll have a glass + between us—half each [Searches in his pockets] The devil... it’s + lost somewhere.... Thought I heard it tinkling just now in my pocket.... + No; no, it isn’t there, brother, it’s your luck! [A pause.] + </p> + <p> + BORTSOV. But if I can’t drink, I’ll commit a crime or I’ll kill + myself.... What shall I do, my God! [Looks through the door] Shall I go + out, then? Out into this darkness, wherever my feet take me.... + </p> + <p> + MERIK. Why don’t you give him a sermon, you pilgrims? And you, Tihon, + why don’t you drive him out? He hasn’t paid you for his night’s + accommodation. Chuck him out! Eh, the people are cruel nowadays. There’s + no gentleness or kindness in them.... A savage people! A man is drowning + and they shout to him: “Hurry up and drown, we’ve got no time to look at + you; we’ve got to go to work.” As to throwing him a rope—there’s + no worry about that.... A rope would cost money. + </p> + <p> + SAVVA. Don’t talk, kind man! + </p> + <p> + MERIK. Quiet, old wolf! You’re a savage race! Herods! Sellers of your + souls! [To TIHON] Come here, take off my boots! Look sharp now! + </p> + <p> + TIHON. Eh, he’s let himself go I [Laughs] Awful, isn’t it. + </p> + <p> + MERIK. Go on, do as you’re told! Quick now! [Pause] Do you hear me, or + don’t you? Am I talking to you or the wall? [Stands up] + </p> + <p> + TIHON. Well... give over. + </p> + <p> + MERIK. I want you, you fleecer, to take the boots off me, a poor tramp. + </p> + <p> + TIHON. Well, well... don’t get excited. Here have a glass.... Have a + drink, now! + </p> + <p> + MERIK. People, what do I want? Do I want him to stand me vodka, or to + take off my boots? Didn’t I say it properly? [To TIHON] Didn’t you hear + me rightly? I’ll wait a moment, perhaps you’ll hear me then. + </p> + <p> + [There is excitement among the pilgrims and tramps, who half-raise + themselves in order to look at TIHON and MERIK. They wait in silence.] + </p> + <p> + TIHON. The devil brought you here! [Comes out from behind the bar] What + a gentleman! Come on now. [Takes off MERIK’S boots] You child of Cain... + </p> + <p> + MERIK. That’s right. Put them side by side.... Like that... you can go + now! + </p> + <p> + TIHON. [Returns to the bar-counter] You’re too fond of being clever. You + do it again and I’ll turn you out of the inn! Yes! [To BORTSOV, who is + approaching] You, again? + </p> + <p> + BORTSOV. Look here, suppose I give you something made of gold.... I will + give it to you. + </p> + <p> + TIHON. What are you shaking for? Talk sense! + </p> + <p> + BORTSOV. It may be mean and wicked on my part, but what am I to do? I’m + doing this wicked thing, not reckoning on what’s to come.... If I was + tried for it, they’d let me off. Take it, only on condition that you + return it later, when I come back from town. I give it to you in front + of these witnesses. You will be my witnesses! [Takes a gold medallion + out from the breast of his coat] Here it is.... I ought to take the + portrait out, but I’ve nowhere to put it; I’m wet all over.... Well, + take the portrait, too! Only mind this... don’t let your fingers touch + that face.... Please... I was rude to you, my dear fellow, I was a fool, + but forgive me and... don’t touch it with your fingers.... Don’t look at + that face with your eyes. [Gives TIHON the medallion.] + </p> + <p> + TIHON. [Examining it] Stolen property.... All right, then, drink.... + [Pours out vodka] Confound you. + </p> + <p> + BORTSOV. Only don’t you touch it... with your fingers. [Drinks slowly, + with feverish pauses.] + </p> + <p> + TIHON. [Opens the medallion] Hm... a lady!... Where did you get hold of + this? + </p> + <p> + MERIK. Let’s have a look. [Goes to the bar] Let’s see. + </p> + <p> + TIHON. [Pushes his hand away] Where are you going to? You look somewhere + else! + </p> + <p> + FEDYA. [Gets up and comes to TIHON] I want to look too! + </p> + <p> + [Several of the tramps, etc., approach the bar and form a group. MERIK + grips TIHON’s hand firmly with both his, looks at the portrait, in the + medallion in silence. A pause.] + </p> + <p> + MERIK. A pretty she-devil. A real lady.... + </p> + <p> + FEDYA. A real lady.... Look at her cheeks, her eyes.... Open your hand, + I can’t see. Hair coming down to her waist.... It is lifelike! She might + be going to say something.... [Pause.] + </p> + <p> + MERIK. It’s destruction for a weak man. A woman like that gets a hold on + one and... [Waves his hand] you’re done for! + </p> + <p> + [KUSMA’S voice is heard. “Trrr.... Stop, you brutes!” Enter KUSMA.] + </p> + <p> + KUSMA. There stands an inn upon my way. Shall I drive or walk past it, + say? You can pass your own father and not notice him, but you can see an + inn in the dark a hundred versts away. Make way, if you believe in God! + Hullo, there! [Planks a five-copeck piece down on the counter] A glass + of real Madeira! Quick! + </p> + <p> + FEDYA. Oh, you devil! + </p> + <p> + TIHON. Don’t wave your arms about, or you’ll hit somebody. + </p> + <p> + KUSMA. God gave us arms to wave about. Poor sugary things, you’re + half-melted. You’re frightened of the rain, poor delicate things. + [Drinks.] + </p> + <p> + EFIMOVNA. You may well get frightened, good man, if you’re caught on + your way in a night like this. Now, thank God, it’s all right, there are + many villages and houses where you can shelter from the weather, but + before that there weren’t any. Oh, Lord, it was bad! You walk a hundred + versts, and not only isn’t there a village; or a house, but you don’t + even see a dry stick. So you sleep on the ground.... + </p> + <p> + KUSMA. Have you been long on this earth, old woman? + </p> + <p> + EFIMOVNA. Over seventy years, little father. + </p> + <p> + KUSMA. Over seventy years! You’ll soon come to crow’s years. [Looks at + BORTSOV] And what sort of a raisin is this? [Staring at BORTSOV] Sir! + [BORTSOV recognizes KUSMA and retires in confusion to a corner of the + room, where he sits on a bench] Semyon Sergeyevitch! Is that you, or + isn’t it? Eh? What are you doing in this place? It’s not the sort of + place for you, is it? + </p> + <p> + BORTSOV. Be quiet! + </p> + <p> + MERIK. [To KUSMA] Who is it? + </p> + <p> + KUSMA. A miserable sufferer. [Paces irritably by the counter] Eh? In an + inn, my goodness! Tattered! Drunk! I’m upset, brothers... upset.... [To + MERIK, in an undertone] It’s my master... our landlord. Semyon + Sergeyevitch and Mr. Bortsov.... Have you ever seen such a state? What + does he look like? Just... it’s the drink that brought him to this.... + Give me some more! [Drinks] I come from his village, Bortsovka; you may + have heard of it, it’s 200 versts from here, in the Ergovsky district. + We used to be his father’s serfs.... What a shame! + </p> + <p> + MERIK. Was he rich? + </p> + <p> + KUSMA. Very. + </p> + <p> + MERIK. Did he drink it all? + </p> + <p> + KUSMA. No, my friend, it was something else.... He used to be great and + rich and sober.... [To TIHON] Why you yourself used to see him riding, + as he used to, past this inn, on his way to the town. Such bold and + noble horses! A carriage on springs, of the best quality! He used to own + five troikas, brother.... Five years ago, I remember, he cam here + driving two horses from Mikishinsky, and he paid with a five-rouble + piece.... I haven’t the time, he says, to wait for the change.... There! + </p> + <p> + MERIK. His brain’s gone, I suppose. + </p> + <p> + KUSMA. His brain’s all right.... It all happened because of his + cowardice! From too much fat. First of all, children, because of a + woman.... He fell in love with a woman of the town, and it seemed to him + that there wasn’t any more beautiful thing in the wide world. A fool may + love as much as a wise man. The girl’s people were all right.... But she + wasn’t exactly loose, but just... giddy... always changing her mind! + Always winking at one! Always laughing and laughing.... No sense at all. + The gentry like that, they think that’s nice, but we moujiks would soon + chuck her out.... Well, he fell in love, and his luck ran out. He began + to keep company with her, one thing led to another... they used to go + out in a boat all night, and play pianos.... + </p> + <p> + BORTSOV. Don’t tell them, Kusma! Why should you? What has my life got to + do with them? + </p> + <p> + KUSMA. Forgive me, your honour, I’m only telling them a little... what + does it matter, anyway.... I’m shaking all over. Pour out some more. + [Drinks.] + </p> + <p> + MERIK. [In a semitone] And did she love him? + </p> + <p> + KUSMA. [In a semitone which gradually becomes his ordinary voice] How + shouldn’t she? He was a man of means.... Of course you’ll fall in love + when the man has a thousand dessiatins and money to burn.... He was a + solid, dignified, sober gentleman... always the same, like this... give + me your hand [Takes MERIK’S hand] “How do you do and good-bye, do me the + favour.” Well, I was going one evening past his garden—and what a + garden, brother, versts of it—I was going along quietly, and I + look and see the two of them sitting on a seat and kissing each other. + [Imitates the sound] He kisses her once, and the snake gives him back + two.... He was holding her white, little hand, and she was all fiery and + kept on getting closer and closer, too.... “I love you,” she says. And + he, like one of the damned, walks about from one place to another and + brags, the coward, about his happiness.... Gives one man a rouble, and + two to another.... Gives me money for a horse. Let off everybody’s + debts.... + </p> + <p> + BORTSOV. Oh, why tell them all about it? These people haven’t any + sympathy.... It hurts! + </p> + <p> + KUSMA. It’s nothing, sir! They asked me! Why shouldn’t I tell them? But + if you are angry I won’t... I won’t.... What do I care for them.... + [Post-bells are heard.] + </p> + <p> + FEDYA. Don’t shout; tell us quietly.... + </p> + <p> + KUSMA. I’ll tell you quietly.... He doesn’t want me to, but it can’t be + helped.... But there’s nothing more to tell. They got married, that’s + all. There was nothing else. Pour out another drop for Kusma the stony! + [Drinks] I don’t like people getting drunk! Why the time the wedding + took place, when the gentlefolk sat down to supper afterwards, she went + off in a carriage... [Whispers] To the town, to her lover, a lawyer.... + Eh? What do you think of her now? Just at the very moment! She would be + let off lightly if she were killed for it! + </p> + <p> + MERIK. [Thoughtfully] Well... what happened then? + </p> + <p> + KUSMA. He went mad.... As you see, he started with a fly, as they say, + and now it’s grown to a bumble-bee. It was a fly then, and now—it’s + a bumble-bee.... And he still loves her. Look at him, he loves her! I + expect he’s walking now to the town to get a glimpse of her with one + eye.... He’ll get a glimpse of her, and go back.... + </p> + <p> + [The post has driven up to the in.. The POSTMAN enters and has a drink.] + </p> + <p> + TIHON. The post’s late to-day! + </p> + <p> + [The POSTMAN pays in silence and goes out. The post drives off, the + bells ringing.] + </p> + <p> + A VOICE FROM THE CORNER. One could rob the post in weather like this—easy + as spitting. + </p> + <p> + MERIK. I’ve been alive thirty-five years and I haven’t robbed the post + once.... [Pause] It’s gone now... too late, too late.... + </p> + <p> + KUSMA. Do you want to smell the inside of a prison? + </p> + <p> + MERIK. People rob and don’t go to prison. And if I do go! [Suddenly] + What else? + </p> + <p> + KUSMA. Do you mean that unfortunate? + </p> + <p> + MERIK. Who else? + </p> + <p> + KUSMA. The second reason, brothers, why he was ruined was because of his + brother-in-law, his sister’s husband.... He took it into his head to + stand surety at the bank for 30,000 roubles for his brother-in-law. The + brother-in-law’s a thief.... The swindler knows which side his bread’s + buttered and won’t budge an inch.... So he doesn’t pay up.... So our man + had to pay up the whole thirty thousand. [Sighs] The fool is suffering + for his folly. His wife’s got children now by the lawyer and the + brother-in-law has bought an estate near Poltava, and our man goes round + inns like a fool, and complains to the likes of us: “I’ve lost all + faith, brothers! I can’t believe in anybody now!” It’s cowardly! Every + man has his grief, a snake that sucks at his heart, and does that mean + that he must drink? Take our village elder, for example. His wife plays + about with the schoolmaster in broad daylight, and spends his money on + drink, but the elder walks about smiling to himself. He’s just a little + thinner... + </p> + <p> + TIHON. [Sighs] When God gives a man strength.... + </p> + <p> + KUSMA. There’s all sorts of strength, that’s true.... Well? How much + does it come to? [Pays] Take your pound of flesh! Good-bye, children! + Good-night and pleasant dreams! It’s time I hurried off. I’m bringing my + lady a midwife from the hospital.... She must be getting wet with + waiting, poor thing.... [Runs out. A pause.] + </p> + <p> + TIHON. Oh, you! Unhappy man, come and drink this! [Pours out.] + </p> + <p> + BORTSOV. [Comes up to the bar hesitatingly and drinks] That means I now + owe you for two glasses. + </p> + <p> + TIHON. You don’t owe me anything? Just drink and drown your sorrows! + </p> + <p> + FEDYA. Drink mine, too, sir! Oh! [Throws down a five-copeck piece] If + you drink, you die; if you don’t drink, you die. It’s good not to drink + vodka, but by God you’re easier when you’ve got some! Vodka takes grief + away.... It is hot! + </p> + <p> + BORTSOV. Boo! The heat! + </p> + <p> + MERIK. Dive it here! [Takes the medallion from TIHON and examines her + portrait] Hm. Ran off after the wedding. What a woman! + </p> + <p> + A VOICE FROM THE CORNER. Pour him out another glass, Tihon. Let him + drink mine, too. + </p> + <p> + MERIK. [Dashes the medallion to the ground] Curse her! [Goes quickly to + his place and lies down, face to the wall. General excitement.] + </p> + <p> + BORTSOV. Here, what’s that? [Picks up the medallion] How dare you, you + beast? What right have you? [Tearfully] Do you want me to kill you? You + moujik! You boor! + </p> + <p> + TIHON. Don’t be angry, sir.... It isn’t glass, it isn’t broken.... Have + another drink and go to sleep. [Pours out] Here I’ve been listening to + you all, and when I ought to have locked up long ago. [Goes and looks + door leading out.] + </p> + <p> + BORTSOV. [Drinks] How dare he? The fool! [to MERIK] Do you understand? + You’re a fool, a donkey! + </p> + <p> + SAVVA. Children! If you please! Stop that talking! What’s the good of + making a noise? Let people go to sleep. + </p> + <p> + TIHON. Lie down, lie down... be quiet! [Goes behind the counter and + locks the till] It’s time to sleep. + </p> + <p> + FEDYA. It’s time! [Lies down] Pleasant dreams, brothers! + </p> + <p> + MERIK. [Gets up and spreads his short fur and coat the bench] Come on, + lie down, sir. + </p> + <p> + TIHON. And where will you sleep. + </p> + <p> + MERIK. Oh, anywhere.... The floor will do.... [Spreads a coat on the + floor] It’s all one to me [Puts the axe by him] It would be torture for + him to sleep on the floor. He’s used to silk and down.... + </p> + <p> + TIHON. [To BORTSOV] Lie down, your honour! You’ve looked at that + portrait long enough. [Puts out a candle] Throw it away! + </p> + <p> + BORTSOV. [Swaying about] Where can I lie down? + </p> + <p> + TIHON. In the tramp’s place! Didn’t you hear him giving it up to you? + </p> + <p> + BORTSOV. [Going up to the vacant place] I’m a bit... drunk... after all + that.... Is this it?... Do I lie down here? Eh? + </p> + <p> + TIHON. Yes, yes, lie down, don’t be afraid. [Stretches himself out on + the counter.] + </p> + <p> + BORTSOV. [Lying down] I’m... drunk.... Everything’s going round.... + [Opens the medallion] Haven’t you a little candle? [Pause] You’re a + queer little woman Masha.... Looking at me out of the frame and + laughing.... [Laughs] I’m drunk! And should you laugh at a man because + he’s drunk? You look out, as Schastlivtsev says, and... love the + drunkard. + </p> + <p> + FEDYA. How the wind howls. It’s dreary! + </p> + <p> + BORTSOV. [Laughs] What a woman.... Why do you keep on going round? I + can’t catch you! + </p> + <p> + MERIK. He’s wandering. Looked too long at the portrait. [Laughs] What a + business! Educated people go and invent all sorts of machines and + medicines, but there hasn’t yet been a man wise enough to invent a + medicine against the female sex.... They try to cure every sort of + disease, and it never occurs to them that more people die of women than + of disease.... Sly, stingy, cruel, brainless.... The mother-in-law + torments the bride and the bride makes things square by swindling the + husband... and there’s no end to it.... + </p> + <p> + TIHON. The women have ruffled his hair for him, and so he’s bristly. + </p> + <p> + MERIK. It isn’t only I.... From the beginning of the ages, since the + world has been in existence, people have complained.... It’s not for + nothing that in the songs and stories, the devil and the woman are put + side by side.... Not for nothing! It’s half true, at any rate... [Pause] + Here’s the gentleman playing the fool, but I had more sense, didn’t I, + when I left my father and mother, and became a tramp? + </p> + <p> + FEDYA. Because of women? + </p> + <p> + MERIK. Just like the gentleman... I walked about like one of the damned, + bewitched, blessing my stars... on fire day and night, until at last my + eyes were opened... It wasn’t love, but just a fraud.... + </p> + <p> + FEDYA. What did you do to her? + </p> + <p> + MERIK. Never you mind.... [Pause] Do you think I killed her?... I + wouldn’t do it.... If you kill, you are sorry for it.... She can live + and be happy! If only I’d never set eyes on you, or if I could only + forget you, you viper’s brood! [A knocking at the door.] + </p> + <p> + TIHON. Whom have the devils brought.... Who’s there? [Knocking] Who + knocks? [Gets up and goes to the door] Who knocks? Go away, we’ve locked + up! + </p> + <p> + A VOICE. Please let me in, Tihon. The carriage-spring’s broken! Be a + father to me and help me! If I only had a little string to tie it round + with, we’d get there somehow or other. + </p> + <p> + TIHON. Who are you? + </p> + <p> + THE VOICE. My lady is going to Varsonofyev from the town.... It’s only + five versts farther on.... Do be a good man and help! + </p> + <p> + TIHON. Go and tell the lady that if she pays ten roubles she can have + her string and we’ll mend the spring. + </p> + <p> + THE VOICE. Have you gone mad, or what? Ten roubles! You mad dog! + Profiting by our misfortunes! + </p> + <p> + TIHON. Just as you like.... You needn’t if you don’t want to. + </p> + <p> + THE VOICE. Very well, wait a bit. [Pause] She says, all right. + </p> + <p> + TIHON. Pleased to hear it! + </p> + <p> + [Opens door. The COACHMAN enters.] + </p> + <p> + COACHMAN. Good evening, Orthodox people! Well, give me the string! + Quick! Who’ll go and help us, children? There’ll be something left over + for your trouble! + </p> + <p> + TIHON. There won’t be anything left over.... Let them sleep, the two of + us can manage. + </p> + <p> + COACHMAN. Foo, I am tired! It’s cold, and there’s not a dry spot in all + the mud.... Another thing, dear.... Have you got a little room in here + for the lady to warm herself in? The carriage is all on one side, she + can’t stay in it.... + </p> + <p> + TIHON. What does she want a room for? She can warm herself in here, if + she’s cold.... We’ll find a place [Clears a space next to BORTSOV] Get + up, get up! Just lie on the floor for an hour, and let the lady get + warm. [To BORTSOV] Get up, your honour! Sit up! [BORTSOV sits up] Here’s + a place for you. [Exit COACHMAN.] + </p> + <p> + FEDYA. Here’s a visitor for you, the devil’s brought her! Now there’ll + be no sleep before daylight. + </p> + <p> + TIHON. I’m sorry I didn’t ask for fifteen.... She’d have given them.... + [Stands expectantly before the door] You’re a delicate sort of people, I + must say. [Enter MARIA EGOROVNA, followed by the COACHMAN. TIHON bows.] + Please, your highness! Our room is very humble, full of blackbeetles! + But don’t disdain it! + </p> + <p> + MARIA EGOROVNA. I can’t see anything.... Which way do I go? + </p> + <p> + TIHON. This way, your highness! [Leads her to the place next to BORTSOV] + This way, please. [Blows on the place] I haven’t any separate rooms, + excuse me, but don’t you be afraid, madam, the people here are good and + quiet.... + </p> + <p> + MARIA EGOROVNA. [Sits next to BORTSOV] How awfully stuffy! Open the + door, at any rate! + </p> + <p> + TIHON. Yes, madam. [Runs and opens the door wide.] + </p> + <p> + MARIA. We’re freezing, and you open the door! [Gets up and slams it] Who + are you to be giving orders? [Lies down] + </p> + <p> + TIHON. Excuse me, your highness, but we’ve a little fool here... a bit + cracked.... But don’t you be frightened, he won’t do you any harm.... + Only you must excuse me, madam, I can’t do this for ten roubles.... Make + it fifteen. + </p> + <p> + MARIA EGOROVNA. Very well, only be quick. + </p> + <p> + TIHON. This minute... this very instant. [Drags some string out from + under the counter] This minute. [A pause.] + </p> + <p> + BORTSOV. [Looking at MARIA EGOROVNA] Marie... Masha... + </p> + <p> + MARIA EGOROVNA. [Looks at BORTSOV] What’s this? + </p> + <p> + BORTSOV. Marie... is it you? Where do you come from? [MARIA EGOROVNA + recognizes BORTSOV, screams and runs off into the centre of the floor. + BORTSOV follows] Marie, it is I... I [Laughs loudly] My wife! Marie! + Where am I? People, a light! + </p> + <p> + MARIA EGOROVNA. Get away from me! You lie, it isn’t you! It can’t be! + [Covers her face with her hands] It’s a lie, it’s all nonsense! + </p> + <p> + BORTSOV. Her voice, her movements.... Marie, it is I! I’ll stop in a + moment.... I was drunk.... My head’s going round.... My God! Stop, + stop.... I can’t understand anything. [Yells] My wife! [Falls at her + feet and sobs. A group collects around the husband and wife.] + </p> + <p> + MARIA EGOROVNA. Stand back! [To the COACHMAN] Denis, let’s go! I can’t + stop here any longer! + </p> + <p> + MERIK. [Jumps up and looks her steadily in the face] The portrait! + [Grasps her hand] It is she! Eh, people, she’s the gentleman’s wife! + </p> + <p> + MARIA EGOROVNA. Get away, fellow! [Tries to tear her hand away from him] + Denis, why do you stand there staring? [DENIS and TIHON run up to her + and get hold of MERIK’S arms] This thieves’ kitchen! Let go my hand! I’m + not afraid!... Get away from me! + </p> + <p> + MERIK. [Note: Throughout this speech, in the original, Merik uses the + familiar second person singular.] Wait a bit, and I’ll let go.... Just + let me say one word to you.... One word, so that you may understand.... + Just wait.... [Turns to TIHON and DENIS] Get away, you rogues, let go! I + shan’t let you go till I’ve had my say! Stop... one moment. [Strikes his + forehead with his fist] No, God hasn’t given me the wisdom! I can’t + think of the word for you! + </p> + <p> + MARIA EGOROVNA. [Tears away her hand] Get away! Drunkards... let’s go, + Denis! + </p> + <p> + [She tries to go out, but MERIK blocks the door.] + </p> + <p> + MERIK. Just throw a glance at him, with only one eye if you like! Or say + only just one kind little word to him! God’s own sake! + </p> + <p> + MARIA EGOROVNA. Take away this... fool. + </p> + <p> + MERIK. Then the devil take you, you accursed woman! + </p> + <p> + [He swings his axe. General confusion. Everybody jumps up noisily and + with cries of horror. SAVVA stands between MERIK and MARIA EGOROVNA.... + DENIS forces MERIK to one side and carries out his mistress. After this + all stand as if turned to stone. A prolonged pause. BORTSOV suddenly + waves his hands in the air.] + </p> + <p> + BORTSOV. Marie... where are you, Marie! + </p> + <p> + NAZAROVNA. My God, my God! You’ve torn up my your murderers! What an + accursed night! + </p> + <p> + MERIK. [Lowering his hand; he still holds the axe] Did I kill her or no? + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + HIGH ROAD +</pre> + <p> + TIHON. Thank God, your head is safe.... + </p> + <p> + MERIK. Then I didn’t kill her.... [Totters to his bed] Fate hasn’t sent + me to my death because of a stolen axe.... [Falls down and sobs] Woe! + Woe is me! Have pity on me, Orthodox people! + </p> + <p> + Curtain. + </p> + <a name="link2H_4_0003" id="link2H_4_0003"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + THE PROPOSAL + </h2> + CHARACTERS +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + STEPAN STEPANOVITCH CHUBUKOV, a landowner + NATALYA STEPANOVNA, his daughter, twenty-five years old + IVAN VASSILEVITCH LOMOV, a neighbour of Chubukov, a large and + hearty, but very suspicious landowner +</pre> + <p> + The scene is laid at CHUBUKOV’s country-house + </p> + <p> + A drawing-room in CHUBUKOV’S house. + </p> + <p> + [LOMOV enters, wearing a dress-jacket and white gloves. CHUBUKOV rises + to meet him.] + </p> + <p> + CHUBUKOV. My dear fellow, whom do I see! Ivan Vassilevitch! I am + extremely glad! [Squeezes his hand] Now this is a surprise, my + darling... How are you? + </p> + <p> + LOMOV. Thank you. And how may you be getting on? + </p> + <p> + CHUBUKOV. We just get along somehow, my angel, to your prayers, and so + on. Sit down, please do.... Now, you know, you shouldn’t forget all + about your neighbours, my darling. My dear fellow, why are you so formal + in your get-up? Evening dress, gloves, and so on. Can you be going + anywhere, my treasure? + </p> + <p> + LOMOV. No, I’ve come only to see you, honoured Stepan Stepanovitch. + </p> + <p> + CHUBUKOV. Then why are you in evening dress, my precious? As if you’re + paying a New Year’s Eve visit! + </p> + <p> + LOMOV. Well, you see, it’s like this. [Takes his arm] I’ve come to you, + honoured Stepan Stepanovitch, to trouble you with a request. Not once or + twice have I already had the privilege of applying to you for help, and + you have always, so to speak... I must ask your pardon, I am getting + excited. I shall drink some water, honoured Stepan Stepanovitch. + [Drinks.] + </p> + <p> + CHUBUKOV. [Aside] He’s come to borrow money! Shan’t give him any! + [Aloud] What is it, my beauty? + </p> + <p> + LOMOV. You see, Honour Stepanitch... I beg pardon, Stepan Honouritch... + I mean, I’m awfully excited, as you will please notice.... In short, you + alone can help me, though I don’t deserve it, of course... and haven’t + any right to count on your assistance.... + </p> + <p> + CHUBUKOV. Oh, don’t go round and round it, darling! Spit it out! Well? + </p> + <p> + LOMOV. One moment... this very minute. The fact is, I’ve come to ask the + hand of your daughter, Natalya Stepanovna, in marriage. + </p> + <p> + CHUBUKOV. [Joyfully] By Jove! Ivan Vassilevitch! Say it again—I + didn’t hear it all! + </p> + <p> + LOMOV. I have the honour to ask... + </p> + <p> + CHUBUKOV. [Interrupting] My dear fellow... I’m so glad, and so on.... + Yes, indeed, and all that sort of thing. [Embraces and kisses LOMOV] + I’ve been hoping for it for a long time. It’s been my continual desire. + [Sheds a tear] And I’ve always loved you, my angel, as if you were my + own son. May God give you both His help and His love and so on, and I + did so much hope... What am I behaving in this idiotic way for? I’m off + my balance with joy, absolutely off my balance! Oh, with all my soul... + I’ll go and call Natasha, and all that. + </p> + <p> + LOMOV. [Greatly moved] Honoured Stepan Stepanovitch, do you think I may + count on her consent? + </p> + <p> + CHUBUKOV. Why, of course, my darling, and... as if she won’t consent! + She’s in love; egad, she’s like a love-sick cat, and so on.... Shan’t be + long! [Exit.] + </p> + <p> + LOMOV. It’s cold... I’m trembling all over, just as if I’d got an + examination before me. The great thing is, I must have my mind made up. + If I give myself time to think, to hesitate, to talk a lot, to look for + an ideal, or for real love, then I’ll never get married.... Brr!... It’s + cold! Natalya Stepanovna is an excellent housekeeper, not bad-looking, + well-educated.... What more do I want? But I’m getting a noise in my + ears from excitement. [Drinks] And it’s impossible for me not to + marry.... In the first place, I’m already 35—a critical age, so to + speak. In the second place, I ought to lead a quiet and regular life.... + I suffer from palpitations, I’m excitable and always getting awfully + upset.... At this very moment my lips are trembling, and there’s a + twitch in my right eyebrow.... But the very worst of all is the way I + sleep. I no sooner get into bed and begin to go off when suddenly + something in my left side—gives a pull, and I can feel it in my + shoulder and head.... I jump up like a lunatic, walk about a bit, and + lie down again, but as soon as I begin to get off to sleep there’s + another pull! And this may happen twenty times.... + </p> + <p> + [NATALYA STEPANOVNA comes in.] + </p> + <p> + NATALYA STEPANOVNA. Well, there! It’s you, and papa said, “Go; there’s a + merchant come for his goods.” How do you do, Ivan Vassilevitch! + </p> + <p> + LOMOV. How do you do, honoured Natalya Stepanovna? + </p> + <p> + NATALYA STEPANOVNA. You must excuse my apron and négligé... we’re + shelling peas for drying. Why haven’t you been here for such a long + time? Sit down. [They seat themselves] Won’t you have some lunch? + </p> + <p> + LOMOV. No, thank you, I’ve had some already. + </p> + <p> + NATALYA STEPANOVNA. Then smoke.... Here are the matches.... The weather + is splendid now, but yesterday it was so wet that the workmen didn’t do + anything all day. How much hay have you stacked? Just think, I felt + greedy and had a whole field cut, and now I’m not at all pleased about + it because I’m afraid my hay may rot. I ought to have waited a bit. But + what’s this? Why, you’re in evening dress! Well, I never! Are you going + to a ball, or what?—though I must say you look better. Tell me, + why are you got up like that? + </p> + <p> + LOMOV. [Excited] You see, honoured Natalya Stepanovna... the fact is, + I’ve made up my mind to ask you to hear me out.... Of course you’ll be + surprised and perhaps even angry, but a... [Aside] It’s awfully cold! + </p> + <p> + NATALYA STEPANOVNA. What’s the matter? [Pause] Well? + </p> + <p> + LOMOV. I shall try to be brief. You must know, honoured Natalya + Stepanovna, that I have long, since my childhood, in fact, had the + privilege of knowing your family. My late aunt and her husband, from + whom, as you know, I inherited my land, always had the greatest respect + for your father and your late mother. The Lomovs and the Chubukovs have + always had the most friendly, and I might almost say the most + affectionate, regard for each other. And, as you know, my land is a near + neighbour of yours. You will remember that my Oxen Meadows touch your + birchwoods. + </p> + <p> + NATALYA STEPANOVNA. Excuse my interrupting you. You say, “my Oxen + Meadows....” But are they yours? + </p> + <p> + LOMOV. Yes, mine. + </p> + <p> + NATALYA STEPANOVNA. What are you talking about? Oxen Meadows are ours, + not yours! + </p> + <p> + LOMOV. No, mine, honoured Natalya Stepanovna. + </p> + <p> + NATALYA STEPANOVNA. Well, I never knew that before. How do you make that + out? + </p> + <p> + LOMOV. How? I’m speaking of those Oxen Meadows which are wedged in + between your birchwoods and the Burnt Marsh. + </p> + <p> + NATALYA STEPANOVNA. Yes, yes.... They’re ours. + </p> + <p> + LOMOV. No, you’re mistaken, honoured Natalya Stepanovna, they’re mine. + </p> + <p> + NATALYA STEPANOVNA. Just think, Ivan Vassilevitch! How long have they + been yours? + </p> + <p> + LOMOV. How long? As long as I can remember. + </p> + <p> + NATALYA STEPANOVNA. Really, you won’t get me to believe that! + </p> + <p> + LOMOV. But you can see from the documents, honoured Natalya Stepanovna. + Oxen Meadows, it’s true, were once the subject of dispute, but now + everybody knows that they are mine. There’s nothing to argue about. You + see, my aunt’s grandmother gave the free use of these Meadows in + perpetuity to the peasants of your father’s grandfather, in return for + which they were to make bricks for her. The peasants belonging to your + father’s grandfather had the free use of the Meadows for forty years, + and had got into the habit of regarding them as their own, when it + happened that... + </p> + <p> + NATALYA STEPANOVNA. No, it isn’t at all like that! Both my grandfather + and great-grandfather reckoned that their land extended to Burnt Marsh—which + means that Oxen Meadows were ours. I don’t see what there is to argue + about. It’s simply silly! + </p> + <p> + LOMOV. I’ll show you the documents, Natalya Stepanovna! + </p> + <p> + NATALYA STEPANOVNA. No, you’re simply joking, or making fun of me.... + What a surprise! We’ve had the land for nearly three hundred years, and + then we’re suddenly told that it isn’t ours! Ivan Vassilevitch, I can + hardly believe my own ears.... These Meadows aren’t worth much to me. + They only come to five dessiatins [Note: 13.5 acres], and are worth + perhaps 300 roubles [Note: £30.], but I can’t stand unfairness. Say what + you will, but I can’t stand unfairness. + </p> + <p> + LOMOV. Hear me out, I implore you! The peasants of your father’s + grandfather, as I have already had the honour of explaining to you, used + to bake bricks for my aunt’s grandmother. Now my aunt’s grandmother, + wishing to make them a pleasant... + </p> + <p> + NATALYA STEPANOVNA. I can’t make head or tail of all this about aunts + and grandfathers and grandmothers! The Meadows are ours, and that’s all. + </p> + <p> + LOMOV. Mine. + </p> + <p> + NATALYA STEPANOVNA. Ours! You can go on proving it for two days on end, + you can go and put on fifteen dress-jackets, but I tell you they’re + ours, ours, ours! I don’t want anything of yours and I don’t want to + give up anything of mine. So there! + </p> + <p> + LOMOV. Natalya Ivanovna, I don’t want the Meadows, but I am acting on + principle. If you like, I’ll make you a present of them. + </p> + <p> + NATALYA STEPANOVNA. I can make you a present of them myself, because + they’re mine! Your behaviour, Ivan Vassilevitch, is strange, to say the + least! Up to this we have always thought of you as a good neighbour, a + friend: last year we lent you our threshing-machine, although on that + account we had to put off our own threshing till November, but you + behave to us as if we were gipsies. Giving me my own land, indeed! No, + really, that’s not at all neighbourly! In my opinion, it’s even + impudent, if you want to know.... + </p> + <p> + LOMOV. Then you make out that I’m a land-grabber? Madam, never in my + life have I grabbed anybody else’s land, and I shan’t allow anybody to + accuse me of having done so.... [Quickly steps to the carafe and drinks + more water] Oxen Meadows are mine! + </p> + <p> + NATALYA STEPANOVNA. It’s not true, they’re ours! + </p> + <p> + LOMOV. Mine! + </p> + <p> + NATALYA STEPANOVNA. It’s not true! I’ll prove it! I’ll send my mowers + out to the Meadows this very day! + </p> + <p> + LOMOV. What? + </p> + <p> + NATALYA STEPANOVNA. My mowers will be there this very day! + </p> + <p> + LOMOV. I’ll give it to them in the neck! + </p> + <p> + NATALYA STEPANOVNA. You dare! + </p> + <p> + LOMOV. [Clutches at his heart] Oxen Meadows are mine! You understand? + Mine! + </p> + <p> + NATALYA STEPANOVNA. Please don’t shout! You can shout yourself hoarse in + your own house, but here I must ask you to restrain yourself! + </p> + <p> + LOMOV. If it wasn’t, madam, for this awful, excruciating palpitation, if + my whole inside wasn’t upset, I’d talk to you in a different way! + [Yells] Oxen Meadows are mine! + </p> + <p> + NATALYA STEPANOVNA. Ours! + </p> + <p> + LOMOV. Mine! + </p> + <p> + NATALYA STEPANOVNA. Ours! + </p> + <p> + LOMOV. Mine! + </p> + <p> + [Enter CHUBUKOV.] + </p> + <p> + CHUBUKOV. What’s the matter? What are you shouting at? + </p> + <p> + NATALYA STEPANOVNA. Papa, please tell to this gentleman who owns Oxen + Meadows, we or he? + </p> + <p> + CHUBUKOV. [To LOMOV] Darling, the Meadows are ours! + </p> + <p> + LOMOV. But, please, Stepan Stepanitch, how can they be yours? Do be a + reasonable man! My aunt’s grandmother gave the Meadows for the temporary + and free use of your grandfather’s peasants. The peasants used the land + for forty years and got as accustomed to it as if it was their own, when + it happened that... + </p> + <p> + CHUBUKOV. Excuse me, my precious.... You forget just this, that the + peasants didn’t pay your grandmother and all that, because the Meadows + were in dispute, and so on. And now everybody knows that they’re ours. + It means that you haven’t seen the plan. + </p> + <p> + LOMOV. I’ll prove to you that they’re mine! + </p> + <p> + CHUBUKOV. You won’t prove it, my darling. + </p> + <p> + LOMOV. I shall! + </p> + <p> + CHUBUKOV. Dear one, why yell like that? You won’t prove anything just by + yelling. I don’t want anything of yours, and don’t intend to give up + what I have. Why should I? And you know, my beloved, that if you propose + to go on arguing about it, I’d much sooner give up the meadows to the + peasants than to you. There! + </p> + <p> + LOMOV. I don’t understand! How have you the right to give away somebody + else’s property? + </p> + <p> + CHUBUKOV. You may take it that I know whether I have the right or not. + Because, young man, I’m not used to being spoken to in that tone of + voice, and so on: I, young man, am twice your age, and ask you to speak + to me without agitating yourself, and all that. + </p> + <p> + LOMOV. No, you just think I’m a fool and want to have me on! You call my + land yours, and then you want me to talk to you calmly and politely! + Good neighbours don’t behave like that, Stepan Stepanitch! You’re not a + neighbour, you’re a grabber! + </p> + <p> + CHUBUKOV. What’s that? What did you say? + </p> + <p> + NATALYA STEPANOVNA. Papa, send the mowers out to the Meadows at once! + </p> + <p> + CHUBUKOV. What did you say, sir? + </p> + <p> + NATALYA STEPANOVNA. Oxen Meadows are ours, and I shan’t give them up, + shan’t give them up, shan’t give them up! + </p> + <p> + LOMOV. We’ll see! I’ll have the matter taken to court, and then I’ll + show you! + </p> + <p> + CHUBUKOV. To court? You can take it to court, and all that! You can! I + know you; you’re just on the look-out for a chance to go to court, and + all that.... You pettifogger! All your people were like that! All of + them! + </p> + <p> + LOMOV. Never mind about my people! The Lomovs have all been honourable + people, and not one has ever been tried for embezzlement, like your + grandfather! + </p> + <p> + CHUBUKOV. You Lomovs have had lunacy in your family, all of you! + </p> + <p> + NATALYA STEPANOVNA. All, all, all! + </p> + <p> + CHUBUKOV. Your grandfather was a drunkard, and your younger aunt, + Nastasya Mihailovna, ran away with an architect, and so on. + </p> + <p> + LOMOV. And your mother was hump-backed. [Clutches at his heart] + Something pulling in my side.... My head.... Help! Water! + </p> + <p> + CHUBUKOV. Your father was a guzzling gambler! + </p> + <p> + NATALYA STEPANOVNA. And there haven’t been many backbiters to equal your + aunt! + </p> + <p> + LOMOV. My left foot has gone to sleep.... You’re an intriguer.... Oh, my + heart!... And it’s an open secret that before the last elections you + bri... I can see stars.... Where’s my hat? + </p> + <p> + NATALYA STEPANOVNA. It’s low! It’s dishonest! It’s mean! + </p> + <p> + CHUBUKOV. And you’re just a malicious, double-faced intriguer! Yes! + </p> + <p> + LOMOV. Here’s my hat.... My heart!... Which way? Where’s the door? + Oh!... I think I’m dying.... My foot’s quite numb.... [Goes to the + door.] + </p> + <p> + CHUBUKOV. [Following him] And don’t set foot in my house again! + </p> + <p> + NATALYA STEPANOVNA. Take it to court! We’ll see! + </p> + <p> + [LOMOV staggers out.] + </p> + <p> + CHUBUKOV. Devil take him! [Walks about in excitement.] + </p> + <p> + NATALYA STEPANOVNA. What a rascal! What trust can one have in one’s + neighbours after that! + </p> + <p> + CHUBUKOV. The villain! The scarecrow! + </p> + <p> + NATALYA STEPANOVNA. The monster! First he takes our land and then he has + the impudence to abuse us. + </p> + <p> + CHUBUKOV. And that blind hen, yes, that turnip-ghost has the confounded + cheek to make a proposal, and so on! What? A proposal! + </p> + <p> + NATALYA STEPANOVNA. What proposal? + </p> + <p> + CHUBUKOV. Why, he came here so as to propose to you. + </p> + <p> + NATALYA STEPANOVNA. To propose? To me? Why didn’t you tell me so before? + </p> + <p> + CHUBUKOV. So he dresses up in evening clothes. The stuffed sausage! The + wizen-faced frump! + </p> + <p> + NATALYA STEPANOVNA. To propose to me? Ah! [Falls into an easy-chair and + wails] Bring him back! Back! Ah! Bring him here. + </p> + <p> + CHUBUKOV. Bring whom here? + </p> + <p> + NATALYA STEPANOVNA. Quick, quick! I’m ill! Fetch him! [Hysterics.] + </p> + <p> + CHUBUKOV. What’s that? What’s the matter with you? [Clutches at his + head] Oh, unhappy man that I am! I’ll shoot myself! I’ll hang myself! + We’ve done for her! + </p> + <p> + NATALYA STEPANOVNA. I’m dying! Fetch him! + </p> + <p> + CHUBUKOV. Tfoo! At once. Don’t yell! + </p> + <p> + [Runs out. A pause. NATALYA STEPANOVNA wails.] + </p> + <p> + NATALYA STEPANOVNA. What have they done to me! Fetch him back! Fetch + him! [A pause.] + </p> + <p> + [CHUBUKOV runs in.] + </p> + <p> + CHUBUKOV. He’s coming, and so on, devil take him! Ouf! Talk to him + yourself; I don’t want to.... + </p> + <p> + NATALYA STEPANOVNA. [Wails] Fetch him! + </p> + <p> + CHUBUKOV. [Yells] He’s coming, I tell you. Oh, what a burden, Lord, to + be the father of a grown-up daughter! I’ll cut my throat! I will, + indeed! We cursed him, abused him, drove him out, and it’s all you... + you! + </p> + <p> + NATALYA STEPANOVNA. No, it was you! + </p> + <p> + CHUBUKOV. I tell you it’s not my fault. [LOMOV appears at the door] Now + you talk to him yourself [Exit.] + </p> + <p> + [LOMOV enters, exhausted.] + </p> + <p> + LOMOV. My heart’s palpitating awfully.... My foot’s gone to sleep.... + There’s something keeps pulling in my side. + </p> + <p> + NATALYA STEPANOVNA. Forgive us, Ivan Vassilevitch, we were all a little + heated.... I remember now: Oxen Meadows really are yours. + </p> + <p> + LOMOV. My heart’s beating awfully.... My Meadows.... My eyebrows are + both twitching.... + </p> + <p> + NATALYA STEPANOVNA. The Meadows are yours, yes, yours.... Do sit + down.... [They sit] We were wrong.... + </p> + <p> + LOMOV. I did it on principle.... My land is worth little to me, but the + principle... + </p> + <p> + NATALYA STEPANOVNA. Yes, the principle, just so.... Now let’s talk of + something else. + </p> + <p> + LOMOV. The more so as I have evidence. My aunt’s grandmother gave the + land to your father’s grandfather’s peasants... + </p> + <p> + NATALYA STEPANOVNA. Yes, yes, let that pass.... [Aside] I wish I knew + how to get him started.... [Aloud] Are you going to start shooting soon? + </p> + <p> + LOMOV. I’m thinking of having a go at the blackcock, honoured Natalya + Stepanovna, after the harvest. Oh, have you heard? Just think, what a + misfortune I’ve had! My dog Guess, whom you know, has gone lame. + </p> + <p> + NATALYA STEPANOVNA. What a pity! Why? + </p> + <p> + LOMOV. I don’t know.... Must have got twisted, or bitten by some other + dog.... [Sighs] My very best dog, to say nothing of the expense. I gave + Mironov 125 roubles for him. + </p> + <p> + NATALYA STEPANOVNA. It was too much, Ivan Vassilevitch. + </p> + <p> + LOMOV. I think it was very cheap. He’s a first-rate dog. + </p> + <p> + NATALYA STEPANOVNA. Papa gave 85 roubles for his Squeezer, and Squeezer + is heaps better than Guess! + </p> + <p> + LOMOV. Squeezer better than. Guess? What an idea! [Laughs] Squeezer + better than Guess! + </p> + <p> + NATALYA STEPANOVNA. Of course he’s better! Of course, Squeezer is young, + he may develop a bit, but on points and pedigree he’s better than + anything that even Volchanetsky has got. + </p> + <p> + LOMOV. Excuse me, Natalya Stepanovna, but you forget that he is + overshot, and an overshot always means the dog is a bad hunter! + </p> + <p> + NATALYA STEPANOVNA. Overshot, is he? The first time I hear it! + </p> + <p> + LOMOV. I assure you that his lower jaw is shorter than the upper. + </p> + <p> + NATALYA STEPANOVNA. Have you measured? + </p> + <p> + LOMOV. Yes. He’s all right at following, of course, but if you want him + to get hold of anything... + </p> + <p> + NATALYA STEPANOVNA. In the first place, our Squeezer is a thoroughbred + animal, the son of Harness and Chisels, while there’s no getting at the + pedigree of your dog at all.... He’s old and as ugly as a worn-out + cab-horse. + </p> + <p> + LOMOV. He is old, but I wouldn’t take five Squeezers for him.... Why, + how can you?... Guess is a dog; as for Squeezer, well, it’s too funny to + argue.... Anybody you like has a dog as good as Squeezer... you may find + them under every bush almost. Twenty-five roubles would be a handsome + price to pay for him. + </p> + <p> + NATALYA STEPANOVNA. There’s some demon of contradiction in you to-day, + Ivan Vassilevitch. First you pretend that the Meadows are yours; now, + that Guess is better than Squeezer. I don’t like people who don’t say + what they mean, because you know perfectly well that Squeezer is a + hundred times better than your silly Guess. Why do you want to say it + isn’t? + </p> + <p> + LOMOV. I see, Natalya Stepanovna, that you consider me either blind or a + fool. You must realize that Squeezer is overshot! + </p> + <p> + NATALYA STEPANOVNA. It’s not true. + </p> + <p> + LOMOV. He is! + </p> + <p> + NATALYA STEPANOVNA. It’s not true! + </p> + <p> + LOMOV. Why shout, madam? + </p> + <p> + NATALYA STEPANOVNA. Why talk rot? It’s awful! It’s time your Guess was + shot, and you compare him with Squeezer! + </p> + <p> + LOMOV. Excuse me; I cannot continue this discussion: my heart is + palpitating. + </p> + <p> + NATALYA STEPANOVNA. I’ve noticed that those hunters argue most who know + least. + </p> + <p> + LOMOV. Madam, please be silent.... My heart is going to pieces.... + [Shouts] Shut up! + </p> + <p> + NATALYA STEPANOVNA. I shan’t shut up until you acknowledge that Squeezer + is a hundred times better than your Guess! + </p> + <p> + LOMOV. A hundred times worse! Be hanged to your Squeezer! His head... + eyes... shoulder... + </p> + <p> + NATALYA STEPANOVNA. There’s no need to hang your silly Guess; he’s + half-dead already! + </p> + <p> + LOMOV. [Weeps] Shut up! My heart’s bursting! + </p> + <p> + NATALYA STEPANOVNA. I shan’t shut up. + </p> + <p> + [Enter CHUBUKOV.] + </p> + <p> + CHUBUKOV. What’s the matter now? + </p> + <p> + NATALYA STEPANOVNA. Papa, tell us truly, which is the better dog, our + Squeezer or his Guess. + </p> + <p> + LOMOV. Stepan Stepanovitch, I implore you to tell me just one thing: is + your Squeezer overshot or not? Yes or no? + </p> + <p> + CHUBUKOV. And suppose he is? What does it matter? He’s the best dog in + the district for all that, and so on. + </p> + <p> + LOMOV. But isn’t my Guess better? Really, now? + </p> + <p> + CHUBUKOV. Don’t excite yourself, my precious one.... Allow me.... Your + Guess certainly has his good points.... He’s pure-bred, firm on his + feet, has well-sprung ribs, and all that. But, my dear man, if you want + to know the truth, that dog has two defects: he’s old and he’s short in + the muzzle. + </p> + <p> + LOMOV. Excuse me, my heart.... Let’s take the facts.... You will + remember that on the Marusinsky hunt my Guess ran neck-and-neck with the + Count’s dog, while your Squeezer was left a whole verst behind. + </p> + <p> + CHUBUKOV. He got left behind because the Count’s whipper-in hit him with + his whip. + </p> + <p> + LOMOV. And with good reason. The dogs are running after a fox, when + Squeezer goes and starts worrying a sheep! + </p> + <p> + CHUBUKOV. It’s not true!... My dear fellow, I’m very liable to lose my + temper, and so, just because of that, let’s stop arguing. You started + because everybody is always jealous of everybody else’s dogs. Yes, we’re + all like that! You too, sir, aren’t blameless! You no sooner notice that + some dog is better than your Guess than you begin with this, that... and + the other... and all that.... I remember everything! + </p> + <p> + LOMOV. I remember too! + </p> + <p> + CHUBUKOV. [Teasing him] I remember, too.... What do you remember? + </p> + <p> + LOMOV. My heart... my foot’s gone to sleep.... I can’t... + </p> + <p> + NATALYA STEPANOVNA. [Teasing] My heart.... What sort of a hunter are + you? You ought to go and lie on the kitchen oven and catch blackbeetles, + not go after foxes! My heart! + </p> + <p> + CHUBUKOV. Yes really, what sort of a hunter are you, anyway? You ought + to sit at home with your palpitations, and not go tracking animals. You + could go hunting, but you only go to argue with people and interfere + with their dogs and so on. Let’s change the subject in case I lose my + temper. You’re not a hunter at all, anyway! + </p> + <p> + LOMOV. And are you a hunter? You only go hunting to get in with the + Count and to intrigue.... Oh, my heart!... You’re an intriguer! + </p> + <p> + CHUBUKOV. What? I an intriguer? [Shouts] Shut up! + </p> + <p> + LOMOV. Intriguer! + </p> + <p> + CHUBUKOV. Boy! Pup! + </p> + <p> + LOMOV. Old rat! Jesuit! + </p> + <p> + CHUBUKOV. Shut up or I’ll shoot you like a partridge! You fool! + </p> + <p> + LOMOV. Everybody knows that—oh my heart!—your late wife used + to beat you.... My feet... temples... sparks.... I fall, I fall! + </p> + <p> + CHUBUKOV. And you’re under the slipper of your housekeeper! + </p> + <p> + LOMOV. There, there, there... my heart’s burst! My shoulder’s come + off.... Where is my shoulder? I die. [Falls into an armchair] A doctor! + [Faints.] + </p> + <p> + CHUBUKOV. Boy! Milksop! Fool! I’m sick! [Drinks water] Sick! + </p> + <p> + NATALYA STEPANOVNA. What sort of a hunter are you? You can’t even sit on + a horse! [To her father] Papa, what’s the matter with him? Papa! Look, + papa! [Screams] Ivan Vassilevitch! He’s dead! + </p> + <p> + CHUBUKOV. I’m sick!... I can’t breathe!... Air! + </p> + <p> + NATALYA STEPANOVNA. He’s dead. [Pulls LOMOV’S sleeve] Ivan Vassilevitch! + Ivan Vassilevitch! What have you done to me? He’s dead. [Falls into an + armchair] A doctor, a doctor! [Hysterics.] + </p> + <p> + CHUBUKOV. Oh!... What is it? What’s the matter? + </p> + <p> + NATALYA STEPANOVNA. [Wails] He’s dead... dead! + </p> + <p> + CHUBUKOV. Who’s dead? [Looks at LOMOV] So he is! My word! Water! A + doctor! [Lifts a tumbler to LOMOV’S mouth] Drink this!... No, he doesn’t + drink.... It means he’s dead, and all that.... I’m the most unhappy of + men! Why don’t I put a bullet into my brain? Why haven’t I cut my throat + yet? What am I waiting for? Give me a knife! Give me a pistol! [LOMOV + moves] He seems to be coming round.... Drink some water! That’s + right.... + </p> + <p> + LOMOV. I see stars... mist.... Where am I? + </p> + <p> + CHUBUKOV. Hurry up and get married and—well, to the devil with + you! She’s willing! [He puts LOMOV’S hand into his daughter’s] She’s + willing and all that. I give you my blessing and so on. Only leave me in + peace! + </p> + <p> + LOMOV. [Getting up] Eh? What? To whom? + </p> + <p> + CHUBUKOV. She’s willing! Well? Kiss and be damned to you! + </p> + <p> + NATALYA STEPANOVNA. [Wails] He’s alive... Yes, yes, I’m willing.... + </p> + <p> + CHUBUKOV. Kiss each other! + </p> + <p> + LOMOV. Eh? Kiss whom? [They kiss] Very nice, too. Excuse me, what’s it + all about? Oh, now I understand... my heart... stars... I’m happy. + Natalya Stepanovna.... [Kisses her hand] My foot’s gone to sleep.... + </p> + <p> + NATALYA STEPANOVNA. I... I’m happy too.... + </p> + <p> + CHUBUKOV. What a weight off my shoulders.... Ouf! + </p> + <p> + NATALYA STEPANOVNA. But... still you will admit now that Guess is worse + than Squeezer. + </p> + <p> + LOMOV. Better! + </p> + <p> + NATALYA STEPANOVNA. Worse! + </p> + <p> + CHUBUKOV. Well, that’s a way to start your family bliss! Have some + champagne! + </p> + <p> + LOMOV. He’s better! + </p> + <p> + NATALYA STEPANOVNA. Worse! worse! worse! + </p> + <p> + CHUBUKOV. [Trying to shout her down] Champagne! Champagne! + </p> + <p> + Curtain. + </p> + <a name="link2H_4_0004" id="link2H_4_0004"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + THE WEDDING + </h2> + CHARACTERS +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + EVDOKIM ZAHAROVITCH ZHIGALOV, a retired Civil Servant. + NASTASYA TIMOFEYEVNA, his wife + DASHENKA, their daughter + EPAMINOND MAXIMOVITCH APLOMBOV, Dashenka’s bridegroom + FYODOR YAKOVLEVITCH REVUNOV-KARAULOV, a retired captain + ANDREY ANDREYEVITCH NUNIN, an insurance agent + ANNA MARTINOVNA ZMEYUKINA, a midwife, aged 30, in a brilliantly red dress + IVAN MIHAILOVITCH YATS, a telegraphist + HARLAMPI SPIRIDONOVITCH DIMBA, a Greek confectioner + DMITRI STEPANOVITCH MOZGOVOY, a sailor of the Imperial Navy (Volunteer + Fleet) + GROOMSMEN, GENTLEMEN, WAITERS, ETC. +</pre> + <p> + The scene is laid in one of the rooms of Andronov’s Restaurant + </p> + <p> + [A brilliantly illuminated room. A large table, laid for supper. Waiters + in dress-jackets are fussing round the table. An orchestra behind the + scene is playing the music of the last figure of a quadrille.] + </p> + <p> + [ANNA MARTINOVNA ZMEYUKINA, YATS, and a GROOMSMAN cross the stage.] + </p> + <p> + ZMEYUKINA. No, no, no! + </p> + <p> + YATS. [Following her] Have pity on us! Have pity! + </p> + <p> + ZMEYUKINA. No, no, no! + </p> + <p> + GROOMSMAN. [Chasing them] You can’t go on like this! Where are you off + to? What about the <i>grand ronde? Grand ronde, s’il vous plait</i>! + [They all go off.] + </p> + <p> + [Enter NASTASYA TIMOFEYEVNA and APLOMBOV.] + </p> + <p> + NASTASYA TIMOFEYEVNA. You had much better be dancing than upsetting me + with your speeches. + </p> + <p> + APLOMBOV. I’m not a Spinosa or anybody of that sort, to go making + figures-of-eight with my legs. I am a serious man, and I have a + character, and I see no amusement in empty pleasures. But it isn’t just + a matter of dances. You must excuse me, maman, but there is a good deal + in your behaviour which I am unable to understand. For instance, in + addition to objects of domestic importance, you promised also to give + me, with your daughter, two lottery tickets. Where are they? + </p> + <p> + NASTASYA TIMOFEYEVNA. My head’s aching a little... I expect it’s on + account of the weather.... If only it thawed! + </p> + <p> + APLOMBOV. You won’t get out of it like that. I only found out to-day + that those tickets are in pawn. You must excuse me, <i>maman</i>, but + it’s only swindlers who behave like that. I’m not doing this out of + egoisticism [Note: So in the original]—I don’t want your tickets—but + on principle; and I don’t allow myself to be done by anybody. I have + made your daughter happy, and if you don’t give me the tickets to-day + I’ll make short work of her. I’m an honourable man! + </p> + <p> + NASTASYA TIMOFEYEVNA. [Looks round the table and counts up the covers] + One, two, three, four, five... + </p> + <p> + A WAITER. The cook asks if you would like the ices served with rum, + madeira, or by themselves? + </p> + <p> + APLOMBOV. With rum. And tell the manager that there’s not enough wine. + Tell him to prepare some more Haut Sauterne. [To NASTASYA TIMOFEYEVNA] + You also promised and agreed that a general was to be here to supper. + And where is he? + </p> + <p> + NASTASYA TIMOFEYEVNA. That isn’t my fault, my dear. + </p> + <p> + APLOMBOV. Whose fault, then? + </p> + <p> + NASTASYA TIMOFEYEVNA. It’s Andrey Andreyevitch’s fault.... Yesterday he + came to see us and promised to bring a perfectly real general. [Sighs] I + suppose he couldn’t find one anywhere, or he’d have brought him.... You + think we don’t mind? We’d begrudge our child nothing. A general, of + course... + </p> + <p> + APLOMBOV. But there’s more.... Everybody, including yourself, <i>maman</i>, + is aware of the fact that Yats, that telegraphist, was after Dashenka + before I proposed to her. Why did you invite him? Surely you knew it + would be unpleasant for me? + </p> + <p> + NASTASYA TIMOFEYEVNA. Oh, how can you? Epaminond Maximovitch was married + himself only the other day, and you’ve already tired me and Dashenka out + with your talk. What will you be like in a year’s time? You are horrid, + really horrid. + </p> + <p> + APLOMBOV. Then you don’t like to hear the truth? Aha! Oh, oh! Then + behave honourably. I only want you to do one thing, be honourable! + </p> + <p> + [Couples dancing the <i>grand ronde</i> come in at one door and out at + the other end. The first couple are DASHENKA with one of the GROOMSMEN. + The last are YATS and ZMEYUKINA. These two remain behind. ZHIGALOV and + DIMBA enter and go up to the table.] + </p> + <p> + GROOMSMAN. [Shouting] Promenade! Messieurs, promenade! [Behind] + Promenade! + </p> + <p> + [The dancers have all left the scene.] + </p> + <p> + YATS. [To ZMEYUKINA] Have pity! Have pity, adorable Anna Martinovna. + </p> + <p> + ZMEYUKINA. Oh, what a man!... I’ve already told you that I’ve no voice + to-day. + </p> + <p> + YATS. I implore you to sing! Just one note! Have pity! Just one note! + </p> + <p> + ZMEYUKINA. I’m tired of you.... [Sits and fans herself.] + </p> + <p> + YATS. No, you’re simply heartless! To be so cruel—if I may express + myself—and to have such a beautiful, beautiful voice! With such a + voice, if you will forgive my using the word, you shouldn’t be a + midwife, but sing at concerts, at public gatherings! For example, how + divinely you do that <i>fioritura</i>... that... [Sings] “I loved you; + love was vain then....” Exquisite! + </p> + <p> + ZMEYUKINA. [Sings] “I loved you, and may love again.” Is that it? + </p> + <p> + YATS. That’s it! Beautiful! + </p> + <p> + ZMEYUKINA. No, I’ve no voice to-day.... There, wave this fan for me... + it’s hot! [To APLOMBOV] Epaminond Maximovitch, why are you so + melancholy? A bridegroom shouldn’t be! Aren’t you ashamed of yourself, + you wretch? Well, what are you so thoughtful about? + </p> + <p> + APLOMBOV. Marriage is a serious step! Everything must be considered from + all sides, thoroughly. + </p> + <p> + ZMEYUKINA. What beastly sceptics you all are! I feel quite suffocated + with you all around.... Give me atmosphere! Do you hear? Give me + atmosphere! [Sings a few notes.] + </p> + <p> + YATS. Beautiful! Beautiful! + </p> + <p> + ZMEYUKINA. Fan me, fan me, or I feel I shall have a heart attack in a + minute. Tell me, please, why do I feel so suffocated? + </p> + <p> + YATS. It’s because you’re sweating.... + </p> + <p> + ZMEYUKINA. Foo, how vulgar you are! Don’t dare to use such words! + </p> + <p> + YATS. Beg pardon! Of course, you’re used, if I may say so, to + aristocratic society and.... + </p> + <p> + ZMEYUKINA. Oh, leave me alone! Give me poetry, delight! Fan me, fan me! + </p> + <p> + ZHIGALOV. [To DIMBA] Let’s have another, what? [Pours out] One can + always drink. So long only, Harlampi Spiridonovitch, as one doesn’t + forget one’s business. Drink and be merry.... And if you can drink at + somebody else’s expense, then why not drink? You can drink.... Your + health! [They drink] And do you have tigers in Greece? + </p> + <p> + DIMBA. Yes. + </p> + <p> + ZHIGALOV. And lions? + </p> + <p> + DIMBA. And lions too. In Russia zere’s nussing, and in Greece zere’s + everysing—my fazer and uncle and brozeres—and here zere’s + nussing. + </p> + <p> + ZHIGALOV. H’m.... And are there whales in Greece? + </p> + <p> + DIMBA. Yes, everysing. + </p> + <p> + NASTASYA TIMOFEYEVNA. [To her husband] What are they all eating and + drinking like that for? It’s time for everybody to sit down to supper. + Don’t keep on shoving your fork into the lobsters.... They’re for the + general. He may come yet.... + </p> + <p> + ZHIGALOV. And are there lobsters in Greece? + </p> + <p> + DIMBA. Yes... zere is everysing. + </p> + <p> + ZHIGALOV. Hm.... And Civil Servants. + </p> + <p> + ZMEYUKINA. I can imagine what the atmosphere is like in Greece! + </p> + <p> + ZHIGALOV. There must be a lot of swindling. The Greeks are just like the + Armenians or gipsies. They sell you a sponge or a goldfish and all the + time they are looking out for a chance of getting something extra out of + you. Let’s have another, what? + </p> + <p> + NASTASYA TIMOFEYEVNA. What do you want to go on having another for? It’s + time everybody sat down to supper. It’s past eleven. + </p> + <p> + ZHIGALOV. If it’s time, then it’s time. Ladies and gentlemen, please! + [Shouts] Supper! Young people! + </p> + <p> + NASTASYA TIMOFEYEVNA. Dear visitors, please be seated! + </p> + <p> + ZMEYUKINA. [Sitting down at the table] Give me poetry. + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + “And he, the rebel, seeks the storm, + As if the storm can give him peace.” + </pre> + <p> + Give me the storm! + </p> + <p> + YATS. [Aside] Wonderful woman! I’m in love! Up to my ears! + </p> + <p> + [Enter DASHENKA, MOZGOVOY, GROOMSMEN, various ladies and gentlemen, etc. + They all noisily seat themselves at the table. There is a minute’s + pause, while the band plays a march.] + </p> + <p> + MOZGOVOY. [Rising] Ladies and gentlemen! I must tell you this.... We are + going to have a great many toasts and speeches. Don’t let’s wait, but + begin at once. Ladies and gentlemen, the newly married! + </p> + <p> + [The band plays a flourish. Cheers. Glasses are touched. APLOMBOV and + DASHENKA kiss each other.] + </p> + <p> + YATS. Beautiful! Beautiful! I must say, ladies and gentlemen, giving + honour where it is due, that this room and the accommodation generally + are splendid! Excellent, wonderful! Only you know, there’s one thing we + haven’t got—electric light, if I may say so! Into every country + electric light has already been introduced, only Russia lags behind. + </p> + <p> + ZHIGALOV. [Meditatively] Electricity... h’m.... In my opinion electric + lighting is just a swindle.... They put a live coal in and think you + don’t see them! No, if you want a light, then you don’t take a coal, but + something real, something special, that you can get hold of! You must + have a fire, you understand, which is natural, not just an invention! + </p> + <p> + YATS. If you’d ever seen an electric battery, and how it’s made up, + you’d think differently. + </p> + <p> + ZHIGALOV. Don’t want to see one. It’s a swindle, a fraud on the + public.... They want to squeeze our last breath out of us.... We know + then, these... And, young man, instead of defending a swindle, you would + be much better occupied if you had another yourself and poured out some + for other people—yes! + </p> + <p> + APLOMBOV. I entirely agree with you, papa. Why start a learned + discussion? I myself have no objection to talking about every possible + scientific discovery, but this isn’t the time for all that! [To + DASHENKA] What do you think, <i>ma chère</i>? + </p> + <p> + DASHENKA. They want to show how educated they are, and so they always + talk about things we can’t understand. + </p> + <p> + NASTASYA TIMOFEYEVNA. Thank God, we’ve lived our time without being + educated, and here we are marrying off our third daughter to an honest + man. And if you think we’re uneducated, then what do you want to come + here for? Go to your educated friends! + </p> + <p> + YATS. I, Nastasya Timofeyevna, have always held your family in respect, + and if I did start talking about electric lighting it doesn’t mean that + I’m proud. I’ll drink, to show you. I have always sincerely wished Daria + Evdokimovna a good husband. In these days, Nastasya Timofeyevna, it is + difficult to find a good husband. Nowadays everybody is on the look-out + for a marriage where there is profit, money.... + </p> + <p> + APLOMBOV. That’s a hint! + </p> + <p> + YATS. [His courage failing] I wasn’t hinting at anything.... Present + company is always excepted.... I was only in general.... Please! + Everybody knows that you’re marrying for love... the dowry is quite + trifling. + </p> + <p> + NASTASYA TIMOFEYEVNA. No, it isn’t trifling! You be careful what you + say. Besides a thousand roubles of good money, we’re giving three + dresses, the bed, and all the furniture. You won’t find another dowry + like that in a hurry! + </p> + <p> + YATS. I didn’t mean... The furniture’s splendid, of course, and... and + the dresses, but I never hinted at what they are getting offended at. + </p> + <p> + NASTASYA TIMOFEYEVNA. Don’t you go making hints. We respect you on + account of your parents, and we’ve invited you to the wedding, and here + you go talking. If you knew that Epaminond Maximovitch was marrying for + profit, why didn’t you say so before? [Tearfully] I brought her up, I + fed her, I nursed her.... I cared for her more than if she was an + emerald jewel, my little girl.... + </p> + <p> + APLOMBOV. And you go and believe him? Thank you so much! I’m very + grateful to you! [To YATS] And as for you, Mr. Yats, although you are + acquainted with me, I shan’t allow you to behave like this in another’s + house. Please get out of this! + </p> + <p> + YATS. What do you mean? + </p> + <p> + APLOMBOV. I want you to be as straightforward as I am! In short, please + get out! [Band plays a flourish] + </p> + <p> + THE GENTLEMEN. Leave him alone! Sit down! Is it worth it! Let him be! + Stop it now! + </p> + <p> + YATS. I never... I... I don’t understand.... Please, I’ll go.... Only + you first give me the five roubles which you borrowed from me last year + on the strength of a <i>piqué</i> waistcoat, if I may say so. Then I’ll + just have another drink and... go, only give me the money first. + </p> + <p> + VARIOUS GENTLEMEN. Sit down! That’s enough! Is it worth it, just for + such trifles? + </p> + <p> + A GROOMSMAN. [Shouts] The health of the bride’s parents, Evdokim + Zaharitch and Nastasya Timofeyevna! [Band plays a flourish. Cheers.] + </p> + <p> + ZHIGALOV. [Bows in all directions, in great emotion] I thank you! Dear + guests! I am very grateful to you for not having forgotten and for + having conferred this honour upon us without being standoffish And you + must not think that I’m a rascal, or that I’m trying to swindle anybody. + I’m speaking from my heart—from the purity of my soul! I wouldn’t + deny anything to good people! We thank you very humbly! [Kisses.] + </p> + <p> + DASHENKA. [To her mother] Mama, why are you crying? I’m so happy! + </p> + <p> + APLOMBOV. <i>Maman</i> is disturbed at your coming separation. But I + should advise her rather to remember the last talk we had. + </p> + <p> + YATS. Don’t cry, Nastasya Timofeyevna! Just think what are human tears, + anyway? Just petty psychiatry, and nothing more! + </p> + <p> + ZMEYUKINA. And are there any red-haired men in Greece? + </p> + <p> + DIMBA. Yes, everysing is zere. + </p> + <p> + ZHIGALOV. But you don’t have our kinds of mushroom. + </p> + <p> + DIMBA. Yes, we’ve got zem and everysing. + </p> + <p> + MOZGOVOY. Harlampi Spiridonovitch, it’s your turn to speak! Ladies and + gentlemen, a speech! + </p> + <p> + ALL. [To DIMBA] Speech! speech! Your turn! + </p> + <p> + DIMBA. Why? I don’t understand.... What is it! + </p> + <p> + ZMEYUKINA. No, no! You can’t refuse! It’s you turn! Get up! + </p> + <p> + DIMBA. [Gets up, confused] I can’t say what... Zere’s Russia and zere’s + Greece. Zere’s people in Russia and people in Greece.... And zere’s + people swimming the sea in karavs, which mean sips, and people on the + land in railway trains. I understand. We are Greeks and you are + Russians, and I want nussing.... I can tell you... zere’s Russia and + zere’s Greece... + </p> + <p> + [Enter NUNIN.] + </p> + <p> + NUNIN. Wait, ladies and gentlemen, don’t eat now! Wait! Just one minute, + Nastasya Timofeyevna! Just come here, if you don’t mind! [Takes NASTASYA + TIMOFEYEVNA aside, puffing] Listen... The General’s coming... I found + one at last.... I’m simply worn out.... A real General, a solid one—old, + you know, aged perhaps eighty, or even ninety. + </p> + <p> + NASTASYA TIMOFEYEVNA. When is he coming? + </p> + <p> + NUNIN. This minute. You’ll be grateful to me all your life. [Note: A few + lines have been omitted: they refer to the “General’s” rank and its + civil equivalent in words for which the English language has no + corresponding terms. The “General” is an ex-naval officer, a + second-class captain.] + </p> + <p> + NASTASYA TIMOFEYEVNA. You’re not deceiving me, Andrey darling? + </p> + <p> + NUNIN. Well, now, am I a swindler? You needn’t worry! + </p> + <p> + NASTASYA TIMOFEYEVNA. [Sighs] One doesn’t like to spend money for + nothing, Andrey darling! + </p> + <p> + NUNIN. Don’t you worry! He’s not a general, he’s a dream! [Raises his + voice] I said to him: “You’ve quite forgotten us, your Excellency! It + isn’t kind of your Excellency to forget your old friends! Nastasya + Timofeyevna,” I said to him, “she’s very annoyed with you about it!” + [Goes and sits at the table] And he says to me: “But, my friend, how can + I go when I don’t know the bridegroom?” “Oh, nonsense, your excellency, + why stand on ceremony? The bridegroom,” I said to him, “he’s a fine + fellow, very free and easy. He’s a valuer,” I said, “at the Law courts, + and don’t you think, your excellency, that he’s some rascal, some knave + of hearts. Nowadays,” I said to him, “even decent women are employed at + the Law courts.” He slapped me on the shoulder, we smoked a Havana cigar + each, and now he’s coming.... Wait a little, ladies and gentlemen, don’t + eat.... + </p> + <p> + APLOMBOV. When’s he coming? + </p> + <p> + NUNIN. This minute. When I left him he was already putting on his + goloshes. Wait a little, ladies and gentlemen, don’t eat yet. + </p> + <p> + APLOMBOV. The band should be told to play a march. + </p> + <p> + NUNIN. [Shouts] Musicians! A march! [The band plays a march for a + minute.] + </p> + <p> + A WAITER. Mr. Revunov-Karaulov! + </p> + <p> + [ZHIGALOV, NASTASYA TIMOFEYEVNA, and NUNIN run to meet him. Enter + REVUNOV-KARAULOV.] + </p> + <p> + NASTASYA TIMOFEYEVNA. [Bowing] Please come in, your excellency! So glad + you’ve come! + </p> + <p> + REVUNOV. Awfully! + </p> + <p> + ZHIGALOV. We, your excellency, aren’t celebrities, we aren’t important, + but quite ordinary, but don’t think on that account that there’s any + fraud. We put good people into the best place, we begrudge nothing. + Please! + </p> + <p> + REVUNOV. Awfully glad! + </p> + <p> + NUNIN. Let me introduce to you, your excellency, the bridegroom, + Epaminond Maximovitch Aplombov, with his newly born... I mean his newly + married wife! Ivan Mihailovitch Yats, employed on the telegraph! A + foreigner of Greek nationality, a confectioner by trade, Harlampi + Spiridonovitch Dimba! Osip Lukitch Babelmandebsky! And so on, and so + on.... The rest are just trash. Sit down, your excellency! + </p> + <p> + REVUNOV. Awfully! Excuse me, ladies and gentlemen, I just want to say + two words to Andrey. [Takes NUNIN aside] I say, old man, I’m a little + put out.... Why do you call me your excellency? I’m not a general! I + don’t rank as the equivalent of a colonel, even. + </p> + <p> + NUNIN. [Whispers] I know, only, Fyodor Yakovlevitch, be a good man and + let us call you your excellency! The family here, you see, is + patriarchal; it respects the aged, it likes rank. + </p> + <p> + REVUNOV. Oh, if it’s like that, very well.... [Goes to the table] + Awfully! + </p> + <p> + NASTASYA TIMOFEYEVNA. Sit down, your excellency! Be so good as to have + some of this, your excellency! Only forgive us for not being used to + etiquette; we’re plain people! + </p> + <p> + REVUNOV. [Not hearing] What? Hm... yes. [Pause] Yes.... In the old days + everybody used to live simply and was happy. In spite of my rank, I am a + man who lives plainly. To-day Andrey comes to me and asks me to come + here to the wedding. “How shall I go,” I said, “when I don’t know them? + It’s not good manners!” But he says: “They are good, simple, patriarchal + people, glad to see anybody.” Well, if that’s the case... why not? Very + glad to come. It’s very dull for me at home by myself, and if my + presence at a wedding can make anybody happy, then I’m delighted to be + here.... + </p> + <p> + ZHIGALOV. Then that’s sincere, is it, your excellency? I respect that! + I’m a plain man myself, without any deception, and I respect others who + are like that. Eat, your excellency! + </p> + <p> + APLOMBOV. Is it long since you retired, your excellency? + </p> + <p> + REVUNOV. Eh? Yes, yes.... Quite true.... Yes. But, excuse me, what is + this? The fish is sour... and the bread is sour. I can’t eat this! + [APLOMBOV and DASHENKA kiss each other] He, he, he... Your health! + [Pause] Yes.... In the old days everything was simple and everybody was + glad.... I love simplicity.... I’m an old man. I retired in 1865. I’m + 72. Yes, of course, in my younger days it was different, but—[Sees + MOZGOVOY] You there... a sailor, are you? + </p> + <p> + MOZGOVOY. Yes, just so. + </p> + <p> + REVUNOV. Aha, so... yes. The navy means hard work. There’s a lot to + think about and get a headache over. Every insignificant word has, so to + speak, its special meaning! For instance, “Hoist her top-sheets and + mainsail!” What’s it mean? A sailor can tell! He, he!—With almost + mathematical precision! + </p> + <p> + NUNIN. The health of his excellency Fyodor Yakovlevitch + Revunov-Karaulov! [Band plays a flourish. Cheers.] + </p> + <p> + YATS. You, your excellency, have just expressed yourself on the subject + of the hard work involved in a naval career. But is telegraphy any + easier? Nowadays, your excellency, nobody is appointed to the telegraphs + if he cannot read and write French and German. But the transmission of + telegrams is the most difficult thing of all. Awfully difficult! Just + listen. + </p> + <p> + [Taps with his fork on the table, like a telegraphic transmitter.] + </p> + <p> + REVUNOV. What does that mean? + </p> + <p> + YATS. It means, “I honour you, your excellency, for your virtues.” You + think it’s easy? Listen now. [Taps.] + </p> + <p> + REVUNOV. Louder; I can’t hear.... + </p> + <p> + YATS. That means, “Madam, how happy I am to hold you in my embraces!” + </p> + <p> + REVUNOV. What madam are you talking about? Yes.... [To MOZGOVOY] Yes, if + there’s a head-wind you must... let’s see... you must hoist your foretop + halyards and topsail halyards! The order is: “On the cross-trees to the + foretop halyards and topsail halyards” and at the same time, as the + sails get loose, you take hold underneath of the foresail and + fore-topsail halyards, stays and braces. + </p> + <p> + A GROOMSMAN. [Rising] Ladies and gentlemen... + </p> + <p> + REVUNOV. [Cutting him short] Yes... there are a great many orders to + give. “Furl the fore-topsail and the foretop-gallant sail!!” Well, what + does that mean? It’s very simple! It means that if the top and + top-gallant sails are lifting the halyards, they must level the foretop + and foretop-gallant halyards on the hoist and at the same time the + top-gallants braces, as needed, are loosened according to the direction + of the wind... + </p> + <p> + NUNIN. [To REVUNOV] Fyodor Yakovlevitch, Mme. Zhigalov asks you to talk + about something else. It’s very dull for the guests, who can’t + understand.... + </p> + <p> + REVUNOV. What? Who’s dull? [To MOZGOVOY] Young man! Now suppose the ship + is lying by the wind, on the starboard tack, under full sail, and you’ve + got to bring her before the wind. What’s the order? Well, first you + whistle up above! He, he! + </p> + <p> + NUNIN. Fyodor Yakovlevitch, that’s enough. Eat something. + </p> + <p> + REVUNOV. As soon as the men are on deck you give the order, “To your + places!” What a life! You give orders, and at the same time you’ve got + to keep your eyes on the sailors, who run about like flashes of + lightning and get the sails and braces right. And at last you can’t + restrain yourself, and you shout, “Good children!” [He chokes and + coughs.] + </p> + <p> + A GROOMSMAN. [Making haste to use the ensuing pause to advantage] On + this occasion, so to speak, on the day on which we have met together to + honour our dear... + </p> + <p> + REVUNOV. [Interrupting] Yes, you’ve got to remember all that! For + instance, “Hoist the topsail halyards. Lower the topsail gallants!” + </p> + <p> + THE GROOMSMAN. [Annoyed] Why does he keep on interrupting? We shan’t get + through a single speech like that! + </p> + <p> + NASTASYA TIMOFEYEVNA. We are dull people, your excellency, and don’t + understand a word of all that, but if you were to tell us something + appropriate... + </p> + <p> + REVUNOV. [Not hearing] I’ve already had supper, thank you. Did you say + there was goose? Thanks... yes. I’ve remembered the old days.... It’s + pleasant, young man! You sail on the sea, you have no worries, and [In + an excited tone of voice] do you remember the joy of tacking? Is there a + sailor who doesn’t glow at the memory of that manoeuvre? As soon as the + word is given and the whistle blown and the crew begins to go up—it’s + as if an electric spark has run through them all. From the captain to + the cabin-boy, everybody’s excited. + </p> + <p> + ZMEYUKINA. How dull! How dull! [General murmur.] + </p> + <p> + REVUNOV. [Who has not heard it properly] Thank you, I’ve had supper. + [With enthusiasm] Everybody’s ready, and looks to the senior officer. He + gives the command: “Stand by, gallants and topsail braces on the + starboard side, main and counter-braces to port!” Everything’s done in a + twinkling. Top-sheets and jib-sheets are pulled... taken to starboard. + [Stands up] The ship takes the wind and at last the sails fill out. The + senior officer orders, “To the braces,” and himself keeps his eye on the + mainsail, and when at last this sail is filling out and the ship begins + to turn, he yells at the top of his voice, “Let go the braces! Loose the + main halyards!” Everything flies about, there’s a general confusion for + a moment—and everything is done without an error. The ship has + been tacked! + </p> + <p> + NASTASYA TIMOFEYEVNA. [Exploding] General, your manners.... You ought to + be ashamed of yourself, at your age! + </p> + <p> + REVUNOV. Did you say sausage? No, I haven’t had any... thank you. + </p> + <p> + NASTASYA TIMOFEYEVNA. [Loudly] I say you ought to be ashamed of yourself + at your age! General, your manners are awful! + </p> + <p> + NUNIN. [Confused] Ladies and gentlemen, is it worth it? Really... + </p> + <p> + REVUNOV. In the first place, I’m not a general, but a second-class naval + captain, which, according to the table of precedence, corresponds to a + lieutenant-colonel. + </p> + <p> + NASTASYA TIMOFEYEVNA. If you’re not a general, then what did you go and + take our money for? We never paid you money to behave like that! + </p> + <p> + REVUNOV. [Upset] What money? + </p> + <p> + NASTASYA TIMOFEYEVNA. You know what money. You know that you got 25 + roubles from Andrey Andreyevitch.... [To NUNIN] And you look out, + Andrey! I never asked you to hire a man like that! + </p> + <p> + NUNIN. There now... let it drop. Is it worth it? + </p> + <p> + REVUNOV. Paid... hired.... What is it? + </p> + <p> + APLOMBOV. Just let me ask you this. Did you receive 25 roubles from + Andrey Andreyevitch? + </p> + <p> + REVUNOV. What 25 roubles? [Suddenly realizing] That’s what it is! Now I + understand it all.... How mean! How mean! + </p> + <p> + APLOMBOV. Did you take the money? + </p> + <p> + REVUNOV. I haven’t taken any money! Get away from me! [Leaves the table] + How mean! How low! To insult an old man, a sailor, an officer who has + served long and faithfully! If you were decent people I could call + somebody out, but what can I do now? [Absently] Where’s the door? Which + way do I go? Waiter, show me the way out! Waiter! [Going] How mean! How + low! [Exit.] + </p> + <p> + NASTASYA TIMOFEYEVNA. Andrey, where are those 25 roubles? + </p> + <p> + NUNIN. Is it worth while bothering about such trifles? What does it + matter! Everybody’s happy here, and here you go.... [Shouts] The health + of the bride and bridegroom! A march! A march! [The band plays a march] + The health of the bride and bridegroom! + </p> + <p> + ZMEYUKINA. I’m suffocating! Give me atmosphere! I’m suffocating with you + all round me! + </p> + <p> + YATS. [In a transport of delight] My beauty! My beauty! [Uproar.] + </p> + <p> + A GROOMSMAN. [Trying to shout everybody else down] Ladies and gentlemen! + On this occasion, if I may say so... + </p> + <p> + Curtain. + </p> + <a name="link2H_4_0005" id="link2H_4_0005"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + THE BEAR + </h2> + CHARACTERS +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + ELENA IVANOVNA POPOVA, a landowning little widow, with dimples on her + cheeks + GRIGORY STEPANOVITCH SMIRNOV, a middle-aged landowner + LUKA, Popova’s aged footman +</pre> + <p> + [A drawing-room in POPOVA’S house.] + </p> + <p> + [POPOVA is in deep mourning and has her eyes fixed on a photograph. LUKA + is haranguing her.] + </p> + <p> + LUKA. It isn’t right, madam.... You’re just destroying yourself. The + maid and the cook have gone off fruit picking, every living being is + rejoicing, even the cat understands how to enjoy herself and walks about + in the yard, catching midges; only you sit in this room all day, as if + this was a convent, and don’t take any pleasure. Yes, really! I reckon + it’s a whole year that you haven’t left the house! + </p> + <p> + POPOVA. I shall never go out.... Why should I? My life is already at an + end. He is in his grave, and I have buried myself between four walls.... + We are both dead. + </p> + <p> + LUKA. Well, there you are! Nicolai Mihailovitch is dead, well, it’s the + will of God, and may his soul rest in peace.... You’ve mourned him—and + quite right. But you can’t go on weeping and wearing mourning for ever. + My old woman died too, when her time came. Well? I grieved over her, I + wept for a month, and that’s enough for her, but if I’ve got to weep for + a whole age, well, the old woman isn’t worth it. [Sighs] You’ve + forgotten all your neighbours. You don’t go anywhere, and you see + nobody. We live, so to speak, like spiders, and never see the light. The + mice have eaten my livery. It isn’t as if there were no good people + around, for the district’s full of them. There’s a regiment quartered at + Riblov, and the officers are such beauties—you can never gaze your + fill at them. And, every Friday, there’s a ball at the camp, and every + day the soldier’s band plays.... Eh, my lady! You’re young and + beautiful, with roses in your cheek—if you only took a little + pleasure. Beauty won’t last long, you know. In ten years’ time you’ll + want to be a pea-hen yourself among the officers, but they won’t look at + you, it will be too late. + </p> + <p> + POPOVA. [With determination] I must ask you never to talk to me about + it! You know that when Nicolai Mihailovitch died, life lost all its + meaning for me. I vowed never to the end of my days to cease to wear + mourning, or to see the light.... You hear? Let his ghost see how well I + love him.... Yes, I know it’s no secret to you that he was often unfair + to me, cruel, and... and even unfaithful, but I shall be true till + death, and show him how I can love. There, beyond the grave, he will see + me as I was before his death.... + </p> + <p> + LUKA. Instead of talking like that you ought to go and have a walk in + the garden, or else order Toby or Giant to be harnessed, and then drive + out to see some of the neighbours. + </p> + <p> + POPOVA. Oh! [Weeps.] + </p> + <p> + LUKA. Madam! Dear madam! What is it? Bless you! + </p> + <p> + POPOVA. He was so fond of Toby! He always used to ride on him to the + Korchagins and Vlasovs. How well he could ride! What grace there was in + his figure when he pulled at the reins with all his strength! Do you + remember? Toby, Toby! Tell them to give him an extra feed of oats. + </p> + <p> + LUKA. Yes, madam. [A bell rings noisily.] + </p> + <p> + POPOVA. [Shaking] Who’s that? Tell them that I receive nobody. + </p> + <p> + LUKA. Yes, madam. [Exit.] + </p> + <p> + POPOVA. [Looks at the photograph] You will see, Nicolas, how I can love + and forgive.... My love will die out with me, only when this poor heart + will cease to beat. [Laughs through her tears] And aren’t you ashamed? I + am a good and virtuous little wife. I’ve locked myself in, and will be + true to you till the grave, and you... aren’t you ashamed, you bad + child? You deceived me, had rows with me, left me alone for weeks on + end.... + </p> + <p> + [LUKA enters in consternation.] + </p> + <p> + LUKA. Madam, somebody is asking for you. He wants to see you.... + </p> + <p> + POPOVA. But didn’t you tell him that since the death of my husband I’ve + stopped receiving? + </p> + <p> + LUKA. I did, but he wouldn’t even listen; says that it’s a very pressing + affair. + </p> + <p> + POPOVA. I do not re-ceive! + </p> + <p> + LUKA. I told him so, but the... the devil... curses and pushes himself + right in.... He’s in the dining-room now. + </p> + <p> + POPOVA. [Annoyed] Very well, ask him in.... What manners! [Exit LUKA] + How these people annoy me! What does he want of me? Why should he + disturb my peace? [Sighs] No, I see that I shall have to go into a + convent after all. [Thoughtfully] Yes, into a convent.... [Enter LUKA + with SMIRNOV.] + </p> + <p> + SMIRNOV. [To LUKA] You fool, you’re too fond of talking.... Ass! [Sees + POPOVA and speaks with respect] Madam, I have the honour to present + myself, I am Grigory Stepanovitch Smirnov, landowner and retired + lieutenant of artillery! I am compelled to disturb you on a very + pressing affair. + </p> + <p> + POPOVA. [Not giving him her hand] What do you want? + </p> + <p> + SMIRNOV. Your late husband, with whom I had the honour of being + acquainted, died in my debt for one thousand two hundred roubles, on two + bills of exchange. As I’ve got to pay the interest on a mortgage + to-morrow, I’ve come to ask you, madam, to pay me the money to-day. + </p> + <p> + POPOVA. One thousand two hundred.... And what was my husband in debt to + you for? + </p> + <p> + SMIRNOV. He used to buy oats from me. + </p> + <p> + POPOVA. [Sighing, to LUKA] So don’t you forget, Luka, to give Toby an + extra feed of oats. [Exit LUKA] If Nicolai Mihailovitch died in debt to + you, then I shall certainly pay you, but you must excuse me to-day, as I + haven’t any spare cash. The day after to-morrow my steward will be back + from town, and I’ll give him instructions to settle your account, but at + the moment I cannot do as you wish.... Moreover, it’s exactly seven + months to-day since the death of my husband, and I’m in a state of mind + which absolutely prevents me from giving money matters my attention. + </p> + <p> + SMIRNOV. And I’m in a state of mind which, if I don’t pay the interest + due to-morrow, will force me to make a graceful exit from this life feet + first. They’ll take my estate! + </p> + <p> + POPOVA. You’ll have your money the day after to-morrow. + </p> + <p> + SMIRNOV. I don’t want the money the day after tomorrow, I want it + to-day. + </p> + <p> + POPOVA. You must excuse me, I can’t pay you. + </p> + <p> + SMIRNOV. And I can’t wait till after to-morrow. + </p> + <p> + POPOVA. Well, what can I do, if I haven’t the money now! + </p> + <p> + SMIRNOV. You mean to say, you can’t pay me? + </p> + <p> + POPOVA. I can’t. + </p> + <p> + SMIRNOV. Hm! Is that the last word you’ve got to say? + </p> + <p> + POPOVA. Yes, the last word. + </p> + <p> + SMIRNOV. The last word? Absolutely your last? + </p> + <p> + POPOVA. Absolutely. + </p> + <p> + SMIRNOV. Thank you so much. I’ll make a note of it. [Shrugs his + shoulders] And then people want me to keep calm! I meet a man on the + road, and he asks me “Why are you always so angry, Grigory + Stepanovitch?” But how on earth am I not to get angry? I want the money + desperately. I rode out yesterday, early in the morning, and called on + all my debtors, and not a single one of them paid up! I was just about + dead-beat after it all, slept, goodness knows where, in some inn, kept + by a Jew, with a vodka-barrel by my head. At last I get here, seventy + versts from home, and hope to get something, and I am received by you + with a “state of mind”! How shouldn’t I get angry. + </p> + <p> + POPOVA. I thought I distinctly said my steward will pay you when he + returns from town. + </p> + <p> + SMIRNOV. I didn’t come to your steward, but to you! What the devil, + excuse my saying so, have I to do with your steward! + </p> + <p> + POPOVA. Excuse me, sir, I am not accustomed to listen to such + expressions or to such a tone of voice. I want to hear no more. [Makes a + rapid exit.] + </p> + <p> + SMIRNOV. Well, there! “A state of mind.”... “Husband died seven months + ago!” Must I pay the interest, or mustn’t I? I ask you: Must I pay, or + must I not? Suppose your husband is dead, and you’ve got a state of + mind, and nonsense of that sort.... And your steward’s gone away + somewhere, devil take him, what do you want me to do? Do you think I can + fly away from my creditors in a balloon, or what? Or do you expect me to + go and run my head into a brick wall? I go to Grusdev and he isn’t at + home, Yaroshevitch has hidden himself, I had a violent row with Kuritsin + and nearly threw him out of the window, Mazugo has something the matter + with his bowels, and this woman has “a state of mind.” Not one of the + swine wants to pay me! Just because I’m too gentle with them, because + I’m a rag, just weak wax in their hands! I’m much too gentle with them! + Well, just you wait! You’ll find out what I’m like! I shan’t let you + play about with me, confound it! I shall jolly well stay here until she + pays! Brr!... How angry I am to-day, how angry I am! All my inside is + quivering with anger, and I can’t even breathe.... Foo, my word, I even + feel sick! [Yells] Waiter! + </p> + <p> + [Enter LUKA.] + </p> + <p> + LUKA. What is it? + </p> + <p> + SMIRNOV. Get me some kvass or water! [Exit LUKA] What a way to reason! A + man is in desperate need of his money, and she won’t pay it because, you + see, she is not disposed to attend to money matters!... That’s real + silly feminine logic. That’s why I never did like, and don’t like now, + to have to talk to women. I’d rather sit on a barrel of gunpowder than + talk to a woman. Brr!... I feel quite chilly—and it’s all on + account of that little bit of fluff! I can’t even see one of these + poetic creatures from a distance without breaking out into a cold sweat + out of sheer anger. I can’t look at them. [Enter LUKA with water.] + </p> + <p> + LUKA. Madam is ill and will see nobody. + </p> + <p> + SMIRNOV. Get out! [Exit LUKA] Ill and will see nobody! No, it’s all + right, you don’t see me.... I’m going to stay and will sit here till you + give me the money. You can be ill for a week, if you like, and I’ll stay + here for a week.... If you’re ill for a year—I’ll stay for a year. + I’m going to get my own, my dear! You don’t get at me with your widow’s + weeds and your dimpled cheeks! I know those dimples! [Shouts through the + window] Simeon, take them out! We aren’t going away at once! I’m staying + here! Tell them in the stable to give the horses some oats! You fool, + you’ve let the near horse’s leg get tied up in the reins again! + [Teasingly] “Never mind....” I’ll give it you. “Never mind.” [Goes away + from the window] Oh, it’s bad.... The heat’s frightful, nobody pays up. + I slept badly, and on top of everything else here’s a bit of fluff in + mourning with “a state of mind.”... My head’s aching.... Shall I have + some vodka, what? Yes, I think I will. [Yells] Waiter! + </p> + <p> + [Enter LUKA.] + </p> + <p> + LUKA. What is it? + </p> + <p> + SMIRNOV. A glass of vodka! [Exit LUKA] Ouf! [Sits and inspects himself] + I must say I look well! Dust all over, boots dirty, unwashed, unkempt, + straw on my waistcoat.... The dear lady may well have taken me for a + brigand. [Yawns] It’s rather impolite to come into a drawing-room in + this state, but it can’t be helped.... I am not here as a visitor, but + as a creditor, and there’s no dress specially prescribed for + creditors.... + </p> + <p> + [Enter LUKA with the vodka.] + </p> + <p> + LUKA. You allow yourself to go very far, sir.... + </p> + <p> + SMIRNOV [Angrily] What? + </p> + <p> + LUKA. I... er... nothing... I really... + </p> + <p> + SMIRNOV. Whom are you talking to? Shut up! + </p> + <p> + LUKA. [Aside] The devil’s come to stay.... Bad luck that brought him.... + [Exit.] + </p> + <p> + SMIRNOV. Oh, how angry I am! So angry that I think I could grind the + whole world to dust.... I even feel sick.... [Yells] Waiter! + </p> + <p> + [Enter POPOVA.] + </p> + <p> + POPOVA. [Her eyes downcast] Sir, in my solitude I have grown + unaccustomed to the masculine voice, and I can’t stand shouting. I must + ask you not to disturb my peace. + </p> + <p> + SMIRNOV. Pay me the money, and I’ll go. + </p> + <p> + POPOVA. I told you perfectly plainly; I haven’t any money to spare; wait + until the day after to-morrow. + </p> + <p> + SMIRNOV. And I told you perfectly plainly I don’t want the money the day + after to-morrow, but to-day. If you don’t pay me to-day, I’ll have to + hang myself to-morrow. + </p> + <p> + POPOVA. But what can I do if I haven’t got the money? You’re so strange! + </p> + <p> + SMIRNOV. Then you won’t pay me now? Eh? + </p> + <p> + POPOVA. I can’t. + </p> + <p> + SMIRNOV. In that case I stay here and shall wait until I get it. [Sits + down] You’re going to pay me the day after to-morrow? Very well! I’ll + stay here until the day after to-morrow. I’ll sit here all the time.... + [Jumps up] I ask you: Have I got to pay the interest to-morrow, or + haven’t I? Or do you think I’m doing this for a joke? + </p> + <p> + POPOVA. Please don’t shout! This isn’t a stable! + </p> + <p> + SMIRNOV. I wasn’t asking you about a stable, but whether I’d got my + interest to pay to-morrow or not? + </p> + <p> + POPOVA. You don’t know how to behave before women! + </p> + <p> + SMIRNOV. No, I do know how to behave before women! + </p> + <p> + POPOVA. No, you don’t! You’re a rude, ill-bred man! Decent people don’t + talk to a woman like that! + </p> + <p> + SMIRNOV. What a business! How do you want me to talk to you? In French, + or what? [Loses his temper and lisps] <i>Madame, je vous prie</i>.... + How happy I am that you don’t pay me.... Ah, pardon. I have disturbed + you! Such lovely weather to-day! And how well you look in mourning! + [Bows.] + </p> + <p> + POPOVA. That’s silly and rude. + </p> + <p> + SMIRNOV. [Teasing her] Silly and rude! I don’t know how to behave before + women! Madam, in my time I’ve seen more women than you’ve seen sparrows! + Three times I’ve fought duels on account of women. I’ve refused twelve + women, and nine have refused me! Yes! There was a time when I played the + fool, scented myself, used honeyed words, wore jewellery, made beautiful + bows. I used to love, to suffer, to sigh at the moon, to get sour, to + thaw, to freeze.... I used to love passionately, madly, every blessed + way, devil take me; I used to chatter like a magpie about emancipation, + and wasted half my wealth on tender feelings, but now—you must + excuse me! You won’t get round me like that now! I’ve had enough! Black + eyes, passionate eyes, ruby lips, dimpled cheeks, the moon, whispers, + timid breathing—I wouldn’t give a brass farthing for the lot, + madam! Present company always excepted, all women, great or little, are + insincere, crooked, backbiters, envious, liars to the marrow of their + bones, vain, trivial, merciless, unreasonable, and, as far as this is + concerned [taps his forehead] excuse my outspokenness, a sparrow can + give ten points to any philosopher in petticoats you like to name! You + look at one of these poetic creatures: all muslin, an ethereal + demi-goddess, you have a million transports of joy, and you look into + her soul—and see a common crocodile! [He grips the back of a + chair; the chair creaks and breaks] But the most disgusting thing of all + is that this crocodile for some reason or other imagines that its chef + d’oeuvre, its privilege and monopoly, is its tender feelings. Why, + confound it, hang me on that nail feet upwards, if you like, but have + you met a woman who can love anybody except a lapdog? When she’s in + love, can she do anything but snivel and slobber? While a man is + suffering and making sacrifices all her love expresses itself in her + playing about with her scarf, and trying to hook him more firmly by the + nose. You have the misfortune to be a woman, you know from yourself what + is the nature of woman. Tell me truthfully, have you ever seen a woman + who was sincere, faithful, and constant? You haven’t! Only freaks and + old women are faithful and constant! You’ll meet a cat with a horn or a + white woodcock sooner than a constant woman! + </p> + <p> + POPOVA. Then, according to you, who is faithful and constant in love? Is + it the man? + </p> + <p> + SMIRNOV. Yes, the man! + </p> + <p> + POPOVA. The man! [Laughs bitterly] Men are faithful and constant in + love! What an idea! [With heat] What right have you to talk like that? + Men are faithful and constant! Since we are talking about it, I’ll tell + you that of all the men I knew and know, the best was my late + husband.... I loved him passionately with all my being, as only a young + and imaginative woman can love, I gave him my youth, my happiness, my + life, my fortune, I breathed in him, I worshipped him as if I were a + heathen, and... and what then? This best of men shamelessly deceived me + at every step! After his death I found in his desk a whole drawerful of + love-letters, and when he was alive—it’s an awful thing to + remember!—he used to leave me alone for weeks at a time, and make + love to other women and betray me before my very eyes; he wasted my + money, and made fun of my feelings.... And, in spite of all that, I + loved him and was true to him. And not only that, but, now that he is + dead, I am still true and constant to his memory. I have shut myself for + ever within these four walls, and will wear these weeds to the very + end.... + </p> + <p> + SMIRNOV. [Laughs contemptuously] Weeds!... I don’t understand what you + take me for. As if I don’t know why you wear that black domino and bury + yourself between four walls! I should say I did! It’s so mysterious, so + poetic! When some junker [Note: So in the original.] or some tame poet + goes past your windows he’ll think: “There lives the mysterious Tamara + who, for the love of her husband, buried herself between four walls.” We + know these games! + </p> + <p> + POPOVA. [Exploding] What? How dare you say all that to me? + </p> + <p> + SMIRNOV. You may have buried yourself alive, but you haven’t forgotten + to powder your face! + </p> + <p> + POPOVA. How dare you speak to me like that? + </p> + <p> + SMIRNOV. Please don’t shout, I’m not your steward! You must allow me to + call things by their real names. I’m not a woman, and I’m used to saying + what I think straight out! Don’t you shout, either! + </p> + <p> + POPOVA. I’m not shouting, it’s you! Please leave me alone! + </p> + <p> + SMIRNOV. Pay me my money and I’ll go. + </p> + <p> + POPOVA. I shan’t give you any money! + </p> + <p> + SMIRNOV. Oh, no, you will. + </p> + <p> + POPOVA. I shan’t give you a farthing, just to spite you. You leave me + alone! + </p> + <p> + SMIRNOV. I have not the pleasure of being either your husband or your + fiancé, so please don’t make scenes. [Sits] I don’t like it. + </p> + <p> + POPOVA. [Choking with rage] So you sit down? + </p> + <p> + SMIRNOV. I do. + </p> + <p> + POPOVA. I ask you to go away! + </p> + <p> + SMIRNOV. Give me my money.... [Aside] Oh, how angry I am! How angry I + am! + </p> + <p> + POPOVA. I don’t want to talk to impudent scoundrels! Get out of this! + [Pause] Aren’t you going? No? + </p> + <p> + SMIRNOV. No. + </p> + <p> + POPOVA. No? + </p> + <p> + SMIRNOV. No! + </p> + <p> + POPOVA. Very well then! [Rings, enter LUKA] Luka, show this gentleman + out! + </p> + <p> + LUKA. [Approaches SMIRNOV] Would you mind going out, sir, as you’re + asked to! You needn’t... + </p> + <p> + SMIRNOV. [Jumps up] Shut up! Who are you talking to? I’ll chop you into + pieces! + </p> + <p> + LUKA. [Clutches at his heart] Little fathers!... What people!... [Falls + into a chair] Oh, I’m ill, I’m ill! I can’t breathe! + </p> + <p> + POPOVA. Where’s Dasha? Dasha! [Shouts] Dasha! Pelageya! Dasha! [Rings.] + </p> + <p> + LUKA. Oh! They’ve all gone out to pick fruit.... There’s nobody at home! + I’m ill! Water! + </p> + <p> + POPOVA. Get out of this, now. + </p> + <p> + SMIRNOV. Can’t you be more polite? + </p> + <p> + POPOVA. [Clenches her fists and stamps her foot] You’re a boor! A coarse + bear! A Bourbon! A monster! + </p> + <p> + SMIRNOV. What? What did you say? + </p> + <p> + POPOVA. I said you are a bear, a monster! + </p> + <p> + SMIRNOV. [Approaching her] May I ask what right you have to insult me? + </p> + <p> + POPOVA. And suppose I am insulting you? Do you think I’m afraid of you? + </p> + <p> + SMIRNOV. And do you think that just because you’re a poetic creature you + can insult me with impunity? Eh? We’ll fight it out! + </p> + <p> + LUKA. Little fathers!... What people!... Water! + </p> + <p> + SMIRNOV. Pistols! + </p> + <p> + POPOVA. Do you think I’m afraid of you just because you have large fists + and a bull’s throat? Eh? You Bourbon! + </p> + <p> + SMIRNOV. We’ll fight it out! I’m not going to be insulted by anybody, + and I don’t care if you are a woman, one of the “softer sex,” indeed! + </p> + <p> + POPOVA. [Trying to interrupt him] Bear! Bear! Bear! + </p> + <p> + SMIRNOV. It’s about time we got rid of the prejudice that only men need + pay for their insults. Devil take it, if you want equality of rights you + can have it. We’re going to fight it out! + </p> + <p> + POPOVA. With pistols? Very well! + </p> + <p> + SMIRNOV. This very minute. + </p> + <p> + POPOVA. This very minute! My husband had some pistols.... I’ll bring + them here. [Is going, but turns back] What pleasure it will give me to + put a bullet into your thick head! Devil take you! [Exit.] + </p> + <p> + SMIRNOV. I’ll bring her down like a chicken! I’m not a little boy or a + sentimental puppy; I don’t care about this “softer sex.” + </p> + <p> + LUKA. Gracious little fathers!... [Kneels] Have pity on a poor old man, + and go away from here! You’ve frightened her to death, and now you want + to shoot her! + </p> + <p> + SMIRNOV. [Not hearing him] If she fights, well that’s equality of + rights, emancipation, and all that! Here the sexes are equal! I’ll shoot + her on principle! But what a woman! [Parodying her] “Devil take you! + I’ll put a bullet into your thick head.” Eh? How she reddened, how her + cheeks shone!... She accepted my challenge! My word, it’s the first time + in my life that I’ve seen.... + </p> + <p> + LUKA. Go away, sir, and I’ll always pray to God for you! + </p> + <p> + SMIRNOV. She is a woman! That’s the sort I can understand! A real woman! + Not a sour-faced jellybag, but fire, gunpowder, a rocket! I’m even sorry + to have to kill her! + </p> + <p> + LUKA. [Weeps] Dear... dear sir, do go away! + </p> + <p> + SMIRNOV. I absolutely like her! Absolutely! Even though her cheeks are + dimpled, I like her! I’m almost ready to let the debt go... and I’m not + angry any longer.... Wonderful woman! + </p> + <p> + [Enter POPOVA with pistols.] + </p> + <p> + POPOVA. Here are the pistols.... But before we fight you must show me + how to fire. I’ve never held a pistol in my hands before. + </p> + <p> + LUKA. Oh, Lord, have mercy and save her.... I’ll go and find the + coachman and the gardener.... Why has this infliction come on us.... + [Exit.] + </p> + <p> + SMIRNOV. [Examining the pistols] You see, there are several sorts of + pistols.... There are Mortimer pistols, specially made for duels, they + fire a percussion-cap. These are Smith and Wesson revolvers, triple + action, with extractors.... These are excellent pistols. They can’t cost + less than ninety roubles the pair.... You must hold the revolver like + this.... [Aside] Her eyes, her eyes! What an inspiring woman! + </p> + <p> + POPOVA. Like this? + </p> + <p> + SMIRNOV. Yes, like this.... Then you cock the trigger, and take aim like + this.... Put your head back a little! Hold your arm out properly.... + Like that.... Then you press this thing with your finger—and + that’s all. The great thing is to keep cool and aim steadily.... Try not + to jerk your arm. + </p> + <p> + POPOVA. Very well.... It’s inconvenient to shoot in a room, let’s go + into the garden. + </p> + <p> + SMIRNOV. Come along then. But I warn you, I’m going to fire in the air. + </p> + <p> + POPOVA. That’s the last straw! Why? + </p> + <p> + SMIRNOV. Because... because... it’s my affair. + </p> + <p> + POPOVA. Are you afraid? Yes? Ah! No, sir, you don’t get out of it! You + come with me! I shan’t have any peace until I’ve made a hole in your + forehead... that forehead which I hate so much! Are you afraid? + </p> + <p> + SMIRNOV. Yes, I am afraid. + </p> + <p> + POPOVA. You lie! Why won’t you fight? + </p> + <p> + SMIRNOV. Because... because you... because I like you. + </p> + <p> + POPOVA. [Laughs] He likes me! He dares to say that he likes me! [Points + to the door] That’s the way. + </p> + <p> + SMIRNOV. [Loads the revolver in silence, takes his cap and goes to the + door. There he stops for half a minute, while they look at each other in + silence, then he hesitatingly approaches POPOVA] Listen.... Are you + still angry? I’m devilishly annoyed, too... but, do you understand... + how can I express myself?... The fact is, you see, it’s like this, so to + speak.... [Shouts] Well, is it my fault that I like you? [He snatches at + the back of a chair; the chair creaks and breaks] Devil take it, how I’m + smashing up your furniture! I like you! Do you understand? I... I almost + love you! + </p> + <p> + POPOVA. Get away from me—I hate you! + </p> + <p> + SMIRNOV. God, what a woman! I’ve never in my life seen one like her! I’m + lost! Done for! Fallen into a mousetrap, like a mouse! + </p> + <p> + POPOVA. Stand back, or I’ll fire! + </p> + <p> + SMIRNOV. Fire, then! You can’t understand what happiness it would be to + die before those beautiful eyes, to be shot by a revolver held in that + little, velvet hand.... I’m out of my senses! Think, and make up your + mind at once, because if I go out we shall never see each other again! + Decide now.... I am a landowner, of respectable character, have an + income of ten thousand a year. I can put a bullet through a coin tossed + into the air as it comes down.... I own some fine horses.... Will you be + my wife? + </p> + <p> + POPOVA. [Indignantly shakes her revolver] Let’s fight! Let’s go out! + </p> + <p> + SMIRNOV. I’m mad.... I understand nothing. [Yells] Waiter, water! + </p> + <p> + POPOVA. [Yells] Let’s go out and fight! + </p> + <p> + SMIRNOV. I’m off my head, I’m in love like a boy, like a fool! [Snatches + her hand, she screams with pain] I love you! [Kneels] I love you as I’ve + never loved before! I’ve refused twelve women, nine have refused me, but + I never loved one of them as I love you.... I’m weak, I’m wax, I’ve + melted.... I’m on my knees like a fool, offering you my hand.... Shame, + shame! I haven’t been in love for five years, I’d taken a vow, and now + all of a sudden I’m in love, like a fish out of water! I offer you my + hand. Yes or no? You don’t want me? Very well! [Gets up and quickly goes + to the door.] + </p> + <p> + POPOVA. Stop. + </p> + <p> + SMIRNOV. [Stops] Well? + </p> + <p> + POPOVA. Nothing, go away.... No, stop.... No, go away, go away! I hate + you! Or no.... Don’t go away! Oh, if you knew how angry I am, how angry + I am! [Throws her revolver on the table] My fingers have swollen because + of all this.... [Tears her handkerchief in temper] What are you waiting + for? Get out! + </p> + <p> + SMIRNOV. Good-bye. + </p> + <p> + POPOVA. Yes, yes, go away!... [Yells] Where are you going? Stop.... No, + go away. Oh, how angry I am! Don’t come near me, don’t come near me! + </p> + <p> + SMIRNOV. [Approaching her] How angry I am with myself! I’m in love like + a student, I’ve been on my knees.... [Rudely] I love you! What do I want + to fall in love with you for? To-morrow I’ve got to pay the interest, + and begin mowing, and here you.... [Puts his arms around her] I shall + never forgive myself for this.... + </p> + <p> + POPOVA. Get away from me! Take your hands away! I hate you! Let’s go and + fight! + </p> + <p> + [A prolonged kiss. Enter LUKA with an axe, the GARDENER with a rake, the + COACHMAN with a pitchfork, and WORKMEN with poles.] + </p> + <p> + LUKA. [Catches sight of the pair kissing] Little fathers! [Pause.] + </p> + <p> + POPOVA. [Lowering her eyes] Luka, tell them in the stables that Toby + isn’t to have any oats at all to-day. + </p> + <p> + Curtain. + </p> + <a name="link2H_4_0006" id="link2H_4_0006"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + A TRAGEDIAN IN SPITE OF HIMSELF + </h2> + CHARACTERS +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + IVAN IVANOVITCH TOLKACHOV, the father of a family + ALEXEY ALEXEYEVITCH MURASHKIN, his friend +</pre> + <p> + The scene is laid in St. Petersburg, in MURASHKIN’S flat + </p> + <p> + [MURASHKIN’S study. Comfortable furniture. MURASHKIN is seated at his + desk. Enter TOLKACHOV holding in his hands a glass globe for a lamp, a + toy bicycle, three hat-boxes, a large parcel containing a dress, a + bin-case of beer, and several little parcels. He looks round stupidly + and lets himself down on the sofa in exhaustion.] + </p> + <p> + MURASHKIN. How do you do, Ivan Ivanovitch? Delighted to see you! What + brings you here? + </p> + <p> + TOLKACHOV. [Breathing heavily] My dear good fellow... I want to ask you + something.... I implore you lend me a revolver till to-morrow. Be a + friend! + </p> + <p> + MURASHKIN. What do you want a revolver for? + </p> + <p> + TOLKACHOV. I must have it.... Oh, little fathers!... give me some + water... water quickly!... I must have it... I’ve got to go through a + dark wood to-night, so in case of accidents... do, please, lend it to + me. + </p> + <p> + MURASHKIN. Oh, you liar, Ivan Ivanovitch! What the devil have you got to + do in a dark wood? I expect you are up to something. I can see by your + face that you are up to something. What’s the matter with you? Are you + ill? + </p> + <p> + TOLKACHOV. Wait a moment, let me breathe.... Oh little mothers! I am + dog-tired. I’ve got a feeling all over me, and in my head as well, as if + I’ve been roasted on a spit. I can’t stand it any longer. Be a friend, + and don’t ask me any questions or insist on details; just give me the + revolver! I beseech you! + </p> + <p> + MURASHKIN. Well, really! Ivan Ivanovitch, what cowardice is this? The + father of a family and a Civil Servant holding a responsible post! For + shame! + </p> + <p> + TOLKACHOV. What sort of a father of a family am I! I am a martyr. I am a + beast of burden, a nigger, a slave, a rascal who keeps on waiting here + for something to happen instead of starting off for the next world. I am + a rag, a fool, an idiot. Why am I alive? What’s the use? [Jumps up] Well + now, tell me why am I alive? What’s the purpose of this uninterrupted + series of mental and physical sufferings? I understand being a martyr to + an idea, yes! But to be a martyr to the devil knows what, skirts and + lamp-globes, no! I humbly decline! No, no, no! I’ve had enough! Enough! + </p> + <p> + MURASHKIN. Don’t shout, the neighbours will hear you! + </p> + <p> + TOLKACHOV. Let your neighbours hear; it’s all the same to me! If you + don’t give me a revolver somebody else will, and there will be an end of + me anyway! I’ve made up my mind! + </p> + <p> + MURASHKIN. Hold on, you’ve pulled off a button. Speak calmly. I still + don’t understand what’s wrong with your life. + </p> + <p> + TOLKACHOV. What’s wrong? You ask me what’s wrong? Very well, I’ll tell + you! Very well! I’ll tell you everything, and then perhaps my soul will + be lighter. Let’s sit down. Now listen... Oh, little mothers, I am out + of breath!... Just let’s take to-day as an instance. Let’s take to-day. + As you know, I’ve got to work at the Treasury from ten to four. It’s + hot, it’s stuffy, there are flies, and, my dear fellow, the very dickens + of a chaos. The Secretary is on leave, Khrapov has gone to get married, + and the smaller fry is mostly in the country, making love or occupied + with amateur theatricals. Everybody is so sleepy, tired, and done up + that you can’t get any sense out of them. The Secretary’s duties are in + the hands of an individual who is deaf in the left ear and in love; the + public has lost its memory; everybody is running about angry and raging, + and there is such a hullabaloo that you can’t hear yourself speak. + Confusion and smoke everywhere. And my work is deathly: always the same, + always the same—first a correction, then a reference back, another + correction, another reference back; it’s all as monotonous as the waves + of the sea. One’s eyes, you understand, simply crawl out of one’s head. + Give me some water.... You come out a broken, exhausted man. You would + like to dine and fall asleep, but you don’t!—You remember that you + live in the country—that is, you are a slave, a rag, a bit of + string, a bit of limp flesh, and you’ve got to run round and do errands. + Where we live a pleasant custom has grown up: when a man goes to town + every wretched female inhabitant, not to mention one’s own wife, has the + power and the right to give him a crowd of commissions. The wife orders + you to run into the modiste’s and curse her for making a bodice too wide + across the chest and too narrow across the shoulders; little Sonya wants + a new pair of shoes; your sister-in-law wants some scarlet silk like the + pattern at twenty copecks and three arshins long.... Just wait; I’ll + read you. [Takes a note out of his pocket and reads] A globe for the + lamp; one pound of pork sausages; five copecks’ worth of cloves and + cinnamon; castor-oil for Misha; ten pounds of granulated sugar. To bring + with you from home: a copper jar for the sugar; carbolic acid; insect + powder, ten copecks’ worth; twenty bottles of beer; vinegar; and corsets + for Mlle. Shanceau at No. 82.... Ouf! And to bring home Misha’s winter + coat and goloshes. That is the order of my wife and family. Then there + are the commissions of our dear friends and neighbours—devil take + them! To-morrow is the name-day of Volodia Vlasin; I have to buy a + bicycle for him. The wife of Lieutenant-Colonel Virkhin is in an + interesting condition, and I am therefore bound to call in at the + midwife’s every day and invite her to come. And so on, and so on. There + are five notes in my pocket and my handkerchief is all knots. And so, my + dear fellow, you spend the time between your office and your train, + running about the town like a dog with your tongue hanging out, running + and running and cursing life. From the clothier’s to the chemist’s, from + the chemist’s to the modiste’s, from the modiste’s to the pork + butcher’s, and then back again to the chemist’s. In one place you + stumble, in a second you lose your money, in a third you forget to pay + and they raise a hue and cry after you, in a fourth you tread on the + train of a lady’s dress.... Tfoo! You get so shaken up from all this + that your bones ache all night and you dream of crocodiles. Well, you’ve + made all your purchases, but how are you to pack all these things? For + instance, how are you to put a heavy copper jar together with the + lamp-globe or the carbolic acid with the tea? How are you to make a + combination of beer-bottles and this bicycle? It’s the labours of + Hercules, a puzzle, a rebus! Whatever tricks you think of, in the long + run you’re bound to smash or scatter something, and at the station and + in the train you have to stand with your arms apart, holding up some + parcel or other under your chin, with parcels, cardboard boxes, and + such-like rubbish all over you. The train starts, the passengers begin + to throw your luggage about on all sides: you’ve got your things on + somebody else’s seat. They yell, they call for the conductor, they + threaten to have you put out, but what can I do? I just stand and blink + my eyes like a whacked donkey. Now listen to this. I get home. You think + I’d like to have a nice little drink after my righteous labours and a + good square meal—isn’t that so?—but there is no chance of + that. My spouse has been on the look-out for me for some time. You’ve + hardly started on your soup when she has her claws into you, wretched + slave that you are—and wouldn’t you like to go to some amateur + theatricals or to a dance? You can’t protest. You are a husband, and the + word husband when translated into the language of summer residents in + the country means a dumb beast which you can load to any extent without + fear of the interference of the Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to + Animals. So you go and blink at “A Family Scandal” or something, you + applaud when your wife tells you to, and you feel worse and worse and + worse until you expect an apoplectic fit to happen any moment. If you go + to a dance you have to find partners for your wife, and if there is a + shortage of them then you dance the quadrilles yourself. You get back + from the theatre or the dance after midnight, when you are no longer a + man but a useless, limp rag. Well, at last you’ve got what you want; you + unrobe and get into bed. It’s excellent—you can close your eyes + and sleep.... Everything is so nice, poetic, and warm, you understand; + there are no children squealing behind the wall, and you’ve got rid of + your wife, and your conscience is clear—what more can you want? + You fall asleep—and suddenly... you hear a buzz!... Gnats! [Jumps + up] Gnats! Be they triply accursed Gnats! [Shakes his fist] Gnats! It’s + one of the plagues of Egypt, one of the tortures of the Inquisition! + Buzz! It sounds so pitiful, so pathetic, as if it’s begging your pardon, + but the villain stings so that you have to scratch yourself for an hour + after. You smoke, and go for them, and cover yourself from head to foot, + but it is no good! At last you have to sacrifice yourself and let the + cursed things devour you. You’ve no sooner got used to the gnats when + another plague begins: downstairs your wife begins practising + sentimental songs with her two friends. They sleep by day and rehearse + for amateur concerts by night. Oh, my God! Those tenors are a torture + with which no gnats on earth can compare. [He sings] “Oh, tell me not my + youth has ruined you.” “Before thee do I stand enchanted.” Oh, the + beastly things! They’ve about killed me! So as to deafen myself a little + I do this: I drum on my ears. This goes on till four o’clock. Oh, give + me some more water, brother!... I can’t... Well, not having slept, you + get up at six o’clock in the morning and off you go to the station. You + run so as not to be late, and it’s muddy, foggy, cold—brr! Then + you get to town and start all over again. So there, brother. It’s a + horrible life; I wouldn’t wish one like it for my enemy. You understand—I’m + ill! Got asthma, heartburn—I’m always afraid of something. I’ve + got indigestion, everything is thick before me... I’ve become a regular + psychopath.... [Looking round] Only, between ourselves, I want to go + down to see Chechotte or Merzheyevsky. There’s some devil in me, + brother. In moments of despair and suffering, when the gnats are + stinging or the tenors sing, everything suddenly grows dim; you jump up + and race round the whole house like a lunatic and shout, “I want blood! + Blood!” And really all the time you do want to let a knife into somebody + or hit him over the head with a chair. That’s what life in a summer + villa leads to! And nobody has any sympathy for me, and everybody seems + to think it’s all as it should be. People even laugh. But understand, I + am a living being and I want to live! This isn’t farce, it’s tragedy! I + say, if you don’t give me your revolver, you might at any rate + sympathize. + </p> + <p> + MURASHKIN. I do sympathize. + </p> + <p> + TOLKACHOV. I see how much you sympathize.... Good-bye. I’ve got to buy + some anchovies and some sausage... and some tooth-powder, and then to + the station. + </p> + <p> + MURASHKIN. Where are you living? + </p> + <p> + TOLKACHOV. At Carrion River. + </p> + <p> + MURASHKIN. [Delighted] Really? Then you’ll know Olga Pavlovna Finberg, + who lives there? + </p> + <p> + TOLKACHOV. I know her. We are even acquainted. + </p> + <p> + MURASHKIN. How perfectly splendid! That’s so convenient, and it would be + so good of you... + </p> + <p> + TOLKACHOV. What’s that? + </p> + <p> + MURASHKIN. My dear fellow, wouldn’t you do one little thing for me? Be a + friend! Promise me now. + </p> + <p> + TOLKACHOV. What’s that? + </p> + <p> + MURASHKIN. It would be such a friendly action! I implore you, my dear + man. In the first place, give Olga Pavlovna my very kind regards. In the + second place, there’s a little thing I’d like you to take down to her. + She asked me to get a sewing-machine but I haven’t anybody to send it + down to her by.... You take it, my dear! And you might at the same time + take down this canary in its cage... only be careful, or you’ll break + the door.... What are you looking at me like that for? + </p> + <p> + TOLKACHOV. A sewing-machine... a canary in a cage... siskins, + chaffinches... + </p> + <p> + MURASHKIN. Ivan Ivanovitch, what’s the matter with you? Why are you + turning purple? + </p> + <p> + TOLKACHOV. [Stamping] Give me the sewing-machine! Where’s the bird-cage? + Now get on top yourself! Eat me! Tear me to pieces! Kill me! [Clenching + his fists] I want blood! Blood! Blood! + </p> + <p> + MURASHKIN. You’ve gone mad! + </p> + <p> + TOLKACHOV. [Treading on his feet] I want blood! Blood! + </p> + <p> + MURASHKIN. [In horror] He’s gone mad! [Shouts] Peter! Maria! Where are + you? Help! + </p> + <p> + TOLKACHOV. [Chasing him round the room] I want blood! Blood! + </p> + <p> + Curtain. + </p> + <a name="link2H_4_0007" id="link2H_4_0007"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + THE ANNIVERSARY + </h2> + CHARACTERS +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + ANDREY ANDREYEVITCH SHIPUCHIN, Chairman of the N—— Joint Stock + Bank, a middle-aged man, with a monocle + TATIANA ALEXEYEVNA, his wife, aged 25 + KUSMA NICOLAIEVITCH KHIRIN, the bank’s aged book-keeper + NASTASYA FYODOROVNA MERCHUTKINA, an old woman wearing an old-fashioned + cloak + DIRECTORS OF THE BANK + EMPLOYEES OF THE BANK +</pre> + <p> + The action takes place at the Bank + </p> + <p> + [The private office of the Chairman of Directors. On the left is a door, + leading into the public department. There are two desks. The furniture + aims at a deliberately luxurious effect, with armchairs covered in + velvet, flowers, statues, carpets, and a telephone. It is midday. KHIRIN + is alone; he wears long felt boots, and is shouting through the door.] + </p> + <p> + KHIRIN. Send out to the chemist for 15 copecks’ worth of valerian drops, + and tell them to bring some drinking water into the Directors’ office! + This is the hundredth time I’ve asked! [Goes to a desk] I’m absolutely + tired out. This is the fourth day I’ve been working, without a chance of + shutting my eyes. From morning to evening I work here, from evening to + morning at home. [Coughs] And I’ve got an inflammation all over me. I’m + hot and cold, and I cough, and my legs ache, and there’s something + dancing before my eyes. [Sits] Our scoundrel of a Chairman, the brute, + is going to read a report at a general meeting. “Our Bank, its Present + and Future.” You’d think he was a Gambetta.... [At work] Two... one... + one... six... nought... seven.... Next, six... nought... one... six.... + He just wants to throw dust into people’s eyes, and so I sit here and + work for him like a galley-slave! This report of his is poetic fiction + and nothing more, and here I’ve got to sit day after day and add + figures, devil take his soul! [Rattles on his counting-frame] I can’t + stand it! [Writing] That is, one... three... seven... two... one... + nought.... He promised to reward me for my work. If everything goes well + to-day and the public is properly put into blinkers, he’s promised me a + gold charm and 300 roubles bonus.... We’ll see. [Works] Yes, but if my + work all goes for nothing, then you’d better look out.... I’m very + excitable.... If I lose my temper I’m capable of committing some crime, + so look out! Yes! + </p> + <p> + [Noise and applause behind the scenes. SHIPUCHIN’S voice: “Thank you! + Thank you! I am extremely grateful.” Enter SHIPUCHIN. He wears a + frockcoat and white tie; he carries an album which has been just + presented to him.] + </p> + <p> + SHIPUCHIN. [At the door, addresses the outer office] This present, my + dear colleagues, will be preserved to the day of my death, as a memory + of the happiest days of my life! Yes, gentlemen! Once more, I thank you! + [Throws a kiss into the air and turns to KHIRIN] My dear, my respected + Kusma Nicolaievitch! + </p> + <p> + [All the time that SHIPUCHIN is on the stage, clerks intermittently come + in with papers for his signature and go out.] + </p> + <p> + KHIRIN. [Standing up] I have the honour to congratulate you, Andrey + Andreyevitch, on the fiftieth anniversary of our Bank, and hope that... + </p> + <p> + SHIPUCHIN. [Warmly shakes hands] Thank you, my dear sir! Thank you! I + think that in view of the unique character of the day, as it is an + anniversary, we may kiss each other!... [They kiss] I am very, very + glad! Thank you for your service... for everything! If, in the course of + the time during which I have had the honour to be Chairman of this Bank + anything useful has been done, the credit is due, more than to anybody + else, to my colleagues. [Sighs] Yes, fifteen years! Fifteen years as my + name’s Shipuchin! [Changes his tone] Where’s my report? Is it getting + on? + </p> + <p> + KHIRIN. Yes; there’s only five pages left. + </p> + <p> + SHIPUCHIN. Excellent. Then it will be ready by three? + </p> + <p> + KHIRIN. If nothing occurs to disturb me, I’ll get it done. Nothing of + any importance is now left. + </p> + <p> + SHIPUCHIN. Splendid. Splendid, as my name’s Shipuchin! The general + meeting will be at four. If you please, my dear fellow. Give me the + first half, I’ll peruse it.... Quick.... [Takes the report] I base + enormous hopes on this report. It’s my <i>profession de foi</i>, or, + better still, my firework. [Note: The actual word employed.] My + firework, as my name’s Shipuchin! [Sits and reads the report to himself] + I’m hellishly tired.... My gout kept on giving me trouble last night, + all the morning I was running about, and then these excitements, + ovations, agitations... I’m tired! + </p> + <p> + KHIRIN. Two... nought... nought... three... nine... two... nought. I + can’t see straight after all these figures.... Three... one... six... + four... one... five.... [Uses the counting-frame.] + </p> + <p> + SHIPUCHIN. Another unpleasantness.... This morning your wife came to see + me and complained about you once again. Said that last night you + threatened her and her sister with a knife. Kusma Nicolaievitch, what do + you mean by that? Oh, oh! + </p> + <p> + KHIRIN. [Rudely] As it’s an anniversary, Andrey Andreyevitch, I’ll ask + for a special favour. Please, even if it’s only out of respect for my + toil, don’t interfere in my family life. Please! + </p> + <p> + SHIPUCHIN. [Sighs] Yours is an impossible character, Kusma + Nicolaievitch! You’re an excellent and respected man, but you behave to + women like some scoundrel. Yes, really. I don’t understand why you hate + them so? + </p> + <p> + KHIRIN. I wish I could understand why you love them so! [Pause.] + </p> + <p> + SHIPUCHIN. The employees have just presented me with an album; and the + Directors, as I’ve heard, are going to give me an address and a silver + loving-cup.... [Playing with his monocle] Very nice, as my name’s + Shipuchin! It isn’t excessive. A certain pomp is essential to the + reputation of the Bank, devil take it! You know everything, of + course.... I composed the address myself, and I bought the cup myself, + too.... Well, then there was 45 roubles for the cover of the address, + but you can’t do without that. They’d never have thought of it for + themselves. [Looks round] Look at the furniture! Just look at it! They + say I’m stingy, that all I want is that the locks on the doors should be + polished, that the employees should wear fashionable ties, and that a + fat hall-porter should stand by the door. No, no, sirs. Polished locks + and a fat porter mean a good deal. I can behave as I like at home, eat + and sleep like a pig, get drunk.... + </p> + <p> + KHIRIN. Please don’t make hints. + </p> + <p> + SHIPUCHIN. Nobody’s making hints! What an impossible character yours + is.... As I was saying, at home I can live like a tradesman, a <i>parvenu</i>, + and be up to any games I like, but here everything must be <i>en grand</i>. + This is a Bank! Here every detail must <i>imponiren</i>, so to speak, + and have a majestic appearance. [He picks up a paper from the floor and + throws it into the fireplace] My service to the Bank has been just this—I’ve + raised its reputation. A thing of immense importance is tone! Immense, + as my name’s Shipuchin! [Looks over KHIRIN] My dear man, a deputation of + shareholders may come here any moment, and there you are in felt boots, + wearing a scarf... in some absurdly coloured jacket.... You might have + put on a frock-coat, or at any rate a dark jacket.... + </p> + <p> + KHIRIN. My health matters more to me than your shareholders. I’ve an + inflammation all over me. + </p> + <p> + SHIPUCHIN. [Excitedly] But you will admit that it’s untidy! You spoil + the <i>ensemble</i>! + </p> + <p> + KHIRIN. If the deputation comes I can go and hide myself. It won’t + matter if... seven... one... seven... two... one... five... nought. I + don’t like untidiness myself.... Seven... two... nine... [Uses the + counting-frame] I can’t stand untidiness! It would have been wiser of + you not to have invited ladies to to-day’s anniversary dinner.... + </p> + <p> + SHIPUCHIN. Oh, that’s nothing. + </p> + <p> + KHIRIN. I know that you’re going to have the hall filled with them + to-night to make a good show, but you look out, or they’ll spoil + everything. They cause all sorts of mischief and disorder. + </p> + <p> + SHIPUCHIN. On the contrary, feminine society elevates! + </p> + <p> + KHIRIN. Yes.... Your wife seems intelligent, but on the Monday of last + week she let something off that upset me for two days. In front of a lot + of people she suddenly asks: “Is it true that at our Bank my husband + bought up a lot of the shares of the Driazhsky-Priazhsky Bank, which + have been falling on exchange? My husband is so annoyed about it!” This + in front of people. Why do you tell them everything, I don’t understand. + Do you want them to get you into serious trouble? + </p> + <p> + SHIPUCHIN. Well, that’s enough, enough! All that’s too dull for an + anniversary. Which reminds me, by the way. [Looks at the time] My wife + ought to be here soon. I really ought to have gone to the station, to + meet the poor little thing, but there’s no time.... and I’m tired. I + must say I’m not glad of her! That is to say, I am glad, but I’d be + gladder if she only stayed another couple of days with her mother. + She’ll want me to spend the whole evening with her to-night, whereas we + have arranged a little excursion for ourselves.... [Shivers] Oh, my + nerves have already started dancing me about. They are so strained that + I think the very smallest trifle would be enough to make me break into + tears! No, I must be strong, as my name’s Shipuchin! + </p> + <p> + [Enter TATIANA ALEXEYEVNA SHIPUCHIN in a waterproof, with a little + travelling satchel slung across her shoulder.] + </p> + <p> + SHIPUCHIN. Ah! In the nick of time! + </p> + <p> + TATIANA ALEXEYEVNA. Darling! + </p> + <p> + [Runs to her husband: a prolonged kiss.] + </p> + <p> + SHIPUCHIN. We were only speaking of you just now! [Looks at his watch.] + </p> + <p> + TATIANA ALEXEYEVNA. [Panting] Were you very dull without me? Are you + well? I haven’t been home yet, I came here straight from the station. + I’ve a lot, a lot to tell you.... I couldn’t wait.... I shan’t take off + my clothes, I’ll only stay a minute. [To KHIRIN] Good morning, Kusma + Nicolaievitch! [To her husband] Is everything all right at home? + </p> + <p> + SHIPUCHIN. Yes, quite. And, you know, you’ve got to look plumper and + better this week.... Well, what sort of a time did you have? + </p> + <p> + TATIANA ALEXEYEVNA. Splendid. Mamma and Katya send their regards. + Vassili Andreitch sends you a kiss. [Kisses him] Aunt sends you a jar of + jam, and is annoyed because you don’t write. Zina sends you a kiss. + [Kisses.] Oh, if you knew what’s happened. If you only knew! I’m even + frightened to tell you! Oh, if you only knew! But I see by your eyes + that you’re sorry I came! + </p> + <p> + SHIPUCHIN. On the contrary.... Darling.... [Kisses her.] + </p> + <p> + [KHIRIN coughs angrily.] + </p> + <p> + TATIANA ALEXEYEVNA. Oh, poor Katya, poor Katya! I’m so sorry for her, so + sorry for her. + </p> + <p> + SHIPUCHIN. This is the Bank’s anniversary to-day, darling, we may get a + deputation of the shareholders at any moment, and you’re not dressed. + </p> + <p> + TATIANA ALEXEYEVNA. Oh, yes, the anniversary! I congratulate you, + gentlemen. I wish you.... So it means that to-day’s the day of the + meeting, the dinner.... That’s good. And do you remember that beautiful + address which you spent such a long time composing for the shareholders? + Will it be read to-day? + </p> + <p> + [KHIRIN coughs angrily.] + </p> + <p> + SHIPUCHIN. [Confused] My dear, we don’t talk about these things. You’d + really better go home. + </p> + <p> + TATIANA ALEXEYEVNA. In a minute, in a minute. I’ll tell you everything + in one minute and go. I’ll tell you from the very beginning. Well.... + When you were seeing me off, you remember I was sitting next to that + stout lady, and I began to read. I don’t like to talk in the train. I + read for three stations and didn’t say a word to anyone.... Well, then + the evening set in, and I felt so mournful, you know, with such sad + thoughts! A young man was sitting opposite me—not a bad-looking + fellow, a brunette.... Well, we fell into conversation.... A sailor came + along then, then some student or other.... [Laughs] I told them that I + wasn’t married... and they did look after me! We chattered till + midnight, the brunette kept on telling the most awfully funny stories, + and the sailor kept on singing. My chest began to ache from laughing. + And when the sailor—oh, those sailors!—when he got to know + my name was TATIANA, you know what he sang? [Sings in a bass voice] + “Onegin don’t let me conceal it, I love Tatiana madly!” [Note: From the + Opera <i>Evgeni Onegin</i>—words by Pushkin.] [Roars with + laughter.] + </p> + <p> + [KHIRIN coughs angrily.] + </p> + <p> + SHIPUCHIN. Tania, dear, you’re disturbing Kusma Nicolaievitch. Go home, + dear.... Later on.... + </p> + <p> + TATIANA ALEXEYEVNA. No, no, let him hear if he wants to, it’s awfully + interesting. I’ll end in a minute. Serezha came to meet me at the + station. Some young man or other turns up, an inspector of taxes, I + think... quite handsome, especially his eyes.... Serezha introduced me, + and the three of us rode off together.... It was lovely weather.... + </p> + <p> + [Voices behind the stage: “You can’t, you can’t! What do you want?” + Enter MERCHUTKINA, waving her arms about.] + </p> + <p> + MERCHUTKINA. What are you dragging at me for. What else! I want him + himself! [To SHIPUCHIN] I have the honour, your excellency... I am the + wife of a civil servant, Nastasya Fyodorovna Merchutkina. + </p> + <p> + SHIPUCHIN. What do you want? + </p> + <p> + MERCHUTKINA. Well, you see, your excellency, my husband has been ill for + five months, and while he was at home, getting better, he was suddenly + dismissed for no reason, your excellency, and when I went to get his + salary, they, you see, deducted 24 roubles 36 copecks from it. What for? + I ask. They said, “Well, he drew it from the employees’ account, and the + others had to make it up.” How can that be? How could he draw anything + without my permission? No, your excellency! I’m a poor woman... my + lodgers are all I have to live on.... I’m weak and defenceless.... + Everybody does me some harm, and nobody has a kind word for me. + </p> + <p> + SHIPUCHIN. Excuse me. [Takes a petition from her and reads it standing.] + </p> + <p> + TATIANA ALEXEYEVNA. [To KHIRIN] Yes, but first we.... Last week I + suddenly received a letter from my mother. She writes that a certain + Grendilevsky has proposed to my sister Katya. A nice, modest, young man, + but with no means of his own, and no assured position. And, + unfortunately, just think of it, Katya is absolutely gone on him. What’s + to be done? Mamma writes telling me to come at once and influence + Katya.... + </p> + <p> + KHIRIN. [Angrily] Excuse me, you’ve made me lose my place! You go + talking about your mamma and Katya, and I understand nothing; and I’ve + lost my place. + </p> + <p> + TATIANA ALEXEYEVNA. What does that matter? You listen when a lady is + talking to you! Why are you so angry to-day? Are you in love? [Laughs.] + </p> + <p> + SHIPUCHIN. [To MERCHUTKINA] Excuse me, but what is this? I can’t make + head or tail of it. + </p> + <p> + TATIANA ALEXEYEVNA. Are you in love? Aha! You’re blushing! + </p> + <p> + SHIPUCHIN. [To his wife] Tanya, dear, do go out into the public office + for a moment. I shan’t be long. + </p> + <p> + TATIANA ALEXEYEVNA. All right. [Goes out.] + </p> + <p> + SHIPUCHIN. I don’t understand anything of this. You’ve obviously come to + the wrong place, madam. Your petition doesn’t concern us at all. You + should go to the department in which your husband was employed. + </p> + <p> + MERCHUTKINA. I’ve been there a good many times these five months, and + they wouldn’t even look at my petition. I’d given up all hopes, but, + thanks to my son-in-law, Boris Matveyitch, I thought of coming to you. + “You go, mother,” he says, “and apply to Mr. Shipuchin, he’s an + influential man and can do anything.” Help me, your excellency! + </p> + <p> + SHIPUCHIN. We can’t do anything for you, Mrs. Merchutkina. You must + understand that your husband, so far as I can gather, was in the employ + of the Army Medical Department, while this is a private, commercial + concern, a bank. Don’t you understand that? + </p> + <p> + MERCHUTKINA. Your excellency, I can produce a doctor’s certificate of my + husband’s illness. Here it is, just look at it.... + </p> + <p> + SHIPUCHIN. [Irritated] That’s all right; I quite believe you, but it’s + not our business. [Behind the scene, TATIANA ALEXEYEVNA’S laughter is + heard, then a man’s. SHIPUCHIN glances at the door] She’s disturbing the + employees. [To MERCHUTKINA] It’s strange and it’s even silly. Surely + your husband knows where you ought to apply? + </p> + <p> + MERCHUTKINA. Your excellency, I don’t let him know anything. He just + cried out: “It isn’t your business! Get out of this!” And... + </p> + <p> + SHIPUCHIN. Madam, I repeat, your husband was in the employ of the Army + Medical Department, and this is a bank, a private, commercial concern. + </p> + <p> + MERCHUTKINA. Yes, yes, yes.... I understand, my dear. In that case, your + excellency, just order them to pay me 15 roubles! I don’t mind taking + that to be going on with. + </p> + <p> + SHIPUCHIN. [Sighs] Ouf! + </p> + <p> + KHIRIN. Andrey Andreyevitch, I’ll never finish the report at this rate! + </p> + <p> + SHIPUCHIN. One moment. [To MERCHUTKINA] I can’t get any sense out of + you. But do understand that your taking this business here is as absurd + as if you took a divorce petition to a chemist’s or into a gold assay + office. [Knock at the door. The voice of TATIANA ALEXEYEVNA is heard, + “Can I come in, Andrey?” SHIPUCHIN shouts] Just wait one minute, dear! + [To MERCHUTKINA] What has it got to do with us if you haven’t been paid? + As it happens, madam, this is an anniversary to-day, we’re busy... and + somebody may be coming here at any moment.... Excuse me.... + </p> + <p> + MERCHUTKINA. Your excellency, have pity on me, an orphan! I’m a weak, + defenceless woman.... I’m tired to death.... I’m having trouble with my + lodgers, and on account of my husband, and I’ve got the house to look + after, and my son-in-law is out of work.... + </p> + <p> + SHIPUCHIN. Mrs. Merchutkina, I... No, excuse me, I can’t talk to you! My + head’s even in a whirl.... You are disturbing us and making us waste our + time. [Sighs, aside] What a business, as my name’s Shipuchin! [To + KHIRIN] Kusma Nicolaievitch, will you please explain to Mrs. + Merchutkina. [Waves his hand and goes out into public department.] + </p> + <p> + KHIRIN. [Approaching MERCHUTKINA, angrily] What do you want? + </p> + <p> + MERCHUTKINA. I’m a weak, defenceless woman.... I may look all right, but + if you were to take me to pieces you wouldn’t find a single healthy bit + in me! I can hardly stand on my legs, and I’ve lost my appetite. I drank + my coffee to-day and got no pleasure out of it. + </p> + <p> + KHIRIN. I ask you, what do you want? + </p> + <p> + MERCHUTKINA. Tell them, my dear, to give me 15 roubles, and a month + later will do for the rest. + </p> + <p> + KHIRIN. But haven’t you been told perfectly plainly that this is a bank! + </p> + <p> + MERCHUTKINA. Yes, yes.... And if you like I can show you the doctor’s + certificate. + </p> + <p> + KHIRIN. Have you got a head on your shoulders, or what? + </p> + <p> + MERCHUTKINA. My dear, I’m asking for what’s mine by law. I don’t want + what isn’t mine. + </p> + <p> + KHIRIN. I ask you, madam, have you got a head on your shoulders, or + what? Well, devil take me, I haven’t any time to talk to you! I’m + busy.... [Points to the door] That way, please! + </p> + <p> + MERCHUTKINA. [Surprised] And where’s the money? + </p> + <p> + KHIRIN. You haven’t a head, but this [Taps the table and then points to + his forehead.] + </p> + <p> + MERCHUTKINA. [Offended] What? Well, never mind, never mind.... You can + do that to your own wife, but I’m the wife of a civil servant.... You + can’t do that to me! + </p> + <p> + KHIRIN. [Losing his temper] Get out of this! + </p> + <p> + MERCHUTKINA. No, no, no... none of that! + </p> + <p> + KHIRIN. If you don’t get out this second, I’ll call for the hall-porter! + Get out! [Stamping.] + </p> + <p> + MERCHUTKINA. Never mind, never mind! I’m not afraid! I’ve seen the like + of you before! Miser! + </p> + <p> + KHIRIN. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a more awful woman in my life.... + Ouf! It’s given me a headache.... [Breathing heavily] I tell you once + more... do you hear me? If you don’t get out of this, you old devil, + I’ll grind you into powder! I’ve got such a character that I’m perfectly + capable of laming you for life! I can commit a crime! + </p> + <p> + MERCHUTKINA. I’ve heard barking dogs before. I’m not afraid. I’ve seen + the like of you before. + </p> + <p> + KHIRIN. [In despair] I can’t stand it! I’m ill! I can’t! [Sits down at + his desk] They’ve let the Bank get filled with women, and I can’t finish + my report! I can’t. + </p> + <p> + MERCHUTKINA. I don’t want anybody else’s money, but my own, according to + law. You ought to be ashamed of yourself! Sitting in a government office + in felt boots.... + </p> + <p> + [Enter SHIPUCHIN and TATIANA ALEXEYEVNA.] + </p> + <p> + TATIANA ALEXEYEVNA. [Following her husband] We spent the evening at the + Berezhnitskys. Katya was wearing a sky-blue frock of foulard silk, cut + low at the neck.... She looks very well with her hair done over her + head, and I did her hair myself.... She was perfectly fascinating.... + </p> + <p> + SHIPUCHIN. [Who has had enough of it already] Yes, yes... + fascinating.... They may be here any moment.... + </p> + <p> + MERCHUTKINA. Your excellency! + </p> + <p> + SHIPUCHIN. [Dully] What else? What do you want? + </p> + <p> + MERCHUTKINA. Your excellency! [Points to KHIRIN] This man... this man + tapped the table with his finger, and then his head.... You told him to + look after my affair, but he insults me and says all sorts of things. + I’m a weak, defenceless woman.... + </p> + <p> + SHIPUCHIN. All right, madam, I’ll see to it... and take the necessary + steps.... Go away now... later on! [Aside] My gout’s coming on! + </p> + <p> + KHIRIN. [In a low tone to SHIPUCHIN] Andrey Andreyevitch, send for the + hall-porter and have her turned out neck and crop! What else can we do? + </p> + <p> + SHIPUCHIN. [Frightened] No, no! She’ll kick up a row and we aren’t the + only people in the building. + </p> + <p> + MERCHUTKINA. Your excellency. + </p> + <p> + KHIRIN. [In a tearful voice] But I’ve got to finish my report! I won’t + have time! I won’t! + </p> + <p> + MERCHUTKINA. Your excellency, when shall I have the money? I want it + now. + </p> + <p> + SHIPUCHIN. [Aside, in dismay] A re-mark-ab-ly beastly woman! [Politely] + Madam, I’ve already told you, this is a bank, a private, commercial + concern. + </p> + <p> + MERCHUTKINA. Be a father to me, your excellency.... If the doctor’s + certificate isn’t enough, I can get you another from the police. Tell + them to give me the money! + </p> + <p> + SHIPUCHIN. [Panting] Ouf! + </p> + <p> + TATIANA ALEXEYEVNA. [To MERCHUTKINA] Mother, haven’t you already been + told that you’re disturbing them? What right have you? + </p> + <p> + MERCHUTKINA. Mother, beautiful one, nobody will help me. All I do is to + eat and drink, and just now I didn’t enjoy my coffee at all. + </p> + <p> + SHIPUCHIN. [Exhausted] How much do you want? + </p> + <p> + MERCHUTKINA. 24 roubles 36 copecks. + </p> + <p> + SHIPUCHIN. All right! [Takes a 25-rouble note out of his pocket-book and + gives it to her] Here are 25 roubles. Take it and... go! + </p> + <p> + [KHIRIN coughs angrily.] + </p> + <p> + MERCHUTKINA. I thank you very humbly, your excellency. [Hides the + money.] + </p> + <p> + TATIANA ALEXEYEVNA. [Sits by her husband] It’s time I went home.... + [Looks at watch] But I haven’t done yet.... I’ll finish in one minute + and go away.... What a time we had! Yes, what a time! We went to spend + the evening at the Berezhnitskys.... It was all right, quite fun, but + nothing in particular.... Katya’s devoted Grendilevsky was there, of + course.... Well, I talked to Katya, cried, and induced her to talk to + Grendilevsky and refuse him. Well, I thought, everything’s, settled the + best possible way; I’ve quieted mamma down, saved Katya, and can be + quiet myself.... What do you think? Katya and I were going along the + avenue, just before supper, and suddenly... [Excitedly] And suddenly we + heard a shot.... No, I can’t talk about it calmly! [Waves her + handkerchief] No, I can’t! + </p> + <p> + SHIPUCHIN. [Sighs] Ouf! + </p> + <p> + TATIANA ALEXEYEVNA. [Weeps] We ran to the summer-house, and there... + there poor Grendilevsky was lying... with a pistol in his hand.... + </p> + <p> + SHIPUCHIN. No, I can’t stand this! I can’t stand it! [To MERCHUTKINA] + What else do you want? + </p> + <p> + MERCHUTKINA. Your excellency, can’t my husband go back to his job? + </p> + <p> + TATIANA ALEXEYEVNA. [Weeping] He’d shot himself right in the heart... + here.... And the poor man had fallen down senseless.... And he was + awfully frightened, as he lay there... and asked for a doctor. A doctor + came soon... and saved the unhappy man.... + </p> + <p> + MERCHUTKINA. Your excellency, can’t my husband go back to his job? + </p> + <p> + SHIPUCHIN. No, I can’t stand this! [Weeps] I can’t stand it! [Stretches + out both his hands in despair to KHIRIN] Drive her away! Drive her away, + I implore you! + </p> + <p> + KHIRIN. [Goes up to TATIANA ALEXEYEVNA] Get out of this! + </p> + <p> + SHIPUCHIN. Not her, but this one... this awful woman.... [Points] That + one! + </p> + <p> + KHIRIN. [Not understanding, to TATIANA ALEXEYEVNA] Get out of this! + [Stamps] Get out! + </p> + <p> + TATIANA ALEXEYEVNA. What? What are you doing? Have you taken leave of + your senses? + </p> + <p> + SHIPUCHIN. It’s awful? I’m a miserable man! Drive her out! Out with her! + </p> + <p> + KHIRIN. [To TATIANA ALEXEYEVNA] Out of it! I’ll cripple you! I’ll knock + you out of shape! I’ll break the law! + </p> + <p> + TATIANA ALEXEYEVNA. [Running from him; he chases her] How dare you! You + impudent fellow! [Shouts] Andrey! Help! Andrey! [Screams.] + </p> + <p> + SHIPUCHIN. [Chasing them] Stop! I implore you! Not such a noise? Have + pity on me! + </p> + <p> + KHIRIN. [Chasing MERCHUTKINA] Out of this! Catch her! Hit her! Cut her + into pieces! + </p> + <p> + SHIPUCHIN. [Shouts] Stop! I ask you! I implore you! + </p> + <p> + MERCHUTKINA. Little fathers... little fathers! [Screams] Little + fathers!... + </p> + <p> + TATIANA ALEXEYEVNA. [Shouts] Help! Help!... Oh, oh... I’m sick, I’m + sick! [Jumps on to a chair, then falls on to the sofa and groans as if + in a faint.] + </p> + <p> + KHIRIN. [Chasing MERCHUTKINA] Hit her! Beat her! Cut her to pieces! + </p> + <p> + MERCHUTKINA. Oh, oh... little fathers, it’s all dark before me! Ah! + [Falls senseless into SHIPUCHIN’S arms. There is a knock at the door; a + VOICE announces THE DEPUTATION] The deputation... reputation... + occupation... + </p> + <p> + KHIRIN. [Stamps] Get out of it, devil take me! [Turns up his sleeves] + Give her to me: I may break the law! + </p> + <p> + [A deputation of five men enters; they all wear frockcoats. One carries + the velvet-covered address, another, the loving-cup. Employees look in + at the door, from the public department. TATIANA ALEXEYEVNA on the sofa, + and MERCHUTKINA in SHIPUCHIN’S arms are both groaning.] + </p> + <p> + ONE OF THE DEPUTATION. [Reads aloud] “Deeply respected and dear Andrey + Andreyevitch! Throwing a retrospective glance at the past history of our + financial administration, and reviewing in our minds its gradual + development, we receive an extremely satisfactory impression. It is true + that in the first period of its existence, the inconsiderable amount of + its capital, and the absence of serious operations of any description, + and also the indefinite aims of this bank, made us attach an extreme + importance to the question raised by Hamlet, ‘To be or not to be,’ and + at one time there were even voices to be heard demanding our + liquidation. But at that moment you become the head of our concern. Your + knowledge, energies, and your native tact were the causes of + extraordinary success and widespread extension. The reputation of the + bank... [Coughs] reputation of the bank...” + </p> + <p> + MERCHUTKINA. [Groans] Oh! Oh! + </p> + <p> + TATIANA ALEXEYEVNA. [Groans] Water! Water! + </p> + <p> + THE MEMBER OF THE DEPUTATION. [Continues] The reputation [Coughs]... the + reputation of the bank has been raised by you to such a height that we + are now the rivals of the best foreign concerns. + </p> + <p> + SHIPUCHIN. Deputation... reputation... occupation.... Two friends that + had a walk at night, held converse by the pale moonlight.... Oh tell me + not, that youth is vain, that jealousy has turned my brain. + </p> + <p> + THE MEMBER OF THE DEPUTATION. [Continues in confusion] “Then, throwing + an objective glance at the present condition of things, we, deeply + respected and dear Andrey Andreyevitch... [Lowering his voice] In that + case, we’ll do it later on.... Yes, later on....” [DEPUTATION goes out + in confusion.] + </p> + <p> + Curtain. + </p> + <a name="link2H_4_0008" id="link2H_4_0008"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + THE THREE SISTERS + </h2> + <h3> + A DRAMA IN FOUR ACTS + </h3> + CHARACTERS +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + ANDREY SERGEYEVITCH PROSOROV + NATALIA IVANOVA (NATASHA), his fiancée, later his wife (28) + His sisters: + OLGA + MASHA + IRINA + FEODOR ILITCH KULIGIN, high school teacher, married to MASHA (20) + ALEXANDER IGNATEYEVITCH VERSHININ, lieutenant-colonel in charge of + a battery (42) + NICOLAI LVOVITCH TUZENBACH, baron, lieutenant in the army (30) + VASSILI VASSILEVITCH SOLENI, captain + IVAN ROMANOVITCH CHEBUTIKIN, army doctor (60) + ALEXEY PETROVITCH FEDOTIK, sub-lieutenant + VLADIMIR CARLOVITCH RODE, sub-lieutenant + FERAPONT, door-keeper at local council offices, an old man + ANFISA, nurse (80) +</pre> + <p> + The action takes place in a provincial town. + </p> + <p> + [Ages are stated in brackets.] + </p> + <a name="link2H_4_0009" id="link2H_4_0009"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + ACT I + </h2> + <p> + [In PROSOROV’S house. A sitting-room with pillars; behind is seen a + large dining-room. It is midday, the sun is shining brightly outside. In + the dining-room the table is being laid for lunch.] + </p> + <p> + [OLGA, in the regulation blue dress of a teacher at a girl’s high + school, is walking about correcting exercise books; MASHA, in a black + dress, with a hat on her knees, sits and reads a book; IRINA, in white, + stands about, with a thoughtful expression.] + </p> + <p> + OLGA. It’s just a year since father died last May the fifth, on your + name-day, Irina. It was very cold then, and snowing. I thought I would + never survive it, and you were in a dead faint. And now a year has gone + by and we are already thinking about it without pain, and you are + wearing a white dress and your face is happy. [Clock strikes twelve] And + the clock struck just the same way then. [Pause] I remember that there + was music at the funeral, and they fired a volley in the cemetery. He + was a general in command of a brigade but there were few people present. + Of course, it was raining then, raining hard, and snowing. + </p> + <p> + IRINA. Why think about it! + </p> + <p> + [BARON TUZENBACH, CHEBUTIKIN and SOLENI appear by the table in the + dining-room, behind the pillars.] + </p> + <p> + OLGA. It’s so warm to-day that we can keep the windows open, though the + birches are not yet in flower. Father was put in command of a brigade, + and he rode out of Moscow with us eleven years ago. I remember perfectly + that it was early in May and that everything in Moscow was flowering + then. It was warm too, everything was bathed in sunshine. Eleven years + have gone, and I remember everything as if we rode out only yesterday. + Oh, God! When I awoke this morning and saw all the light and the spring, + joy entered my heart, and I longed passionately to go home. + </p> + <p> + CHEBUTIKIN. Will you take a bet on it? + </p> + <p> + TUZENBACH. Oh, nonsense. + </p> + <p> + [MASHA, lost in a reverie over her book, whistles softly.] + </p> + <p> + OLGA. Don’t whistle, Masha. How can you! [Pause] I’m always having + headaches from having to go to the High School every day and then teach + till evening. Strange thoughts come to me, as if I were already an old + woman. And really, during these four years that I have been working + here, I have been feeling as if every day my strength and youth have + been squeezed out of me, drop by drop. And only one desire grows and + gains in strength... + </p> + <p> + IRINA. To go away to Moscow. To sell the house, drop everything here, + and go to Moscow... + </p> + <p> + OLGA. Yes! To Moscow, and as soon as possible. + </p> + <p> + [CHEBUTIKIN and TUZENBACH laugh.] + </p> + <p> + IRINA. I expect Andrey will become a professor, but still, he won’t want + to live here. Only poor Masha must go on living here. + </p> + <p> + OLGA. Masha can come to Moscow every year, for the whole summer. + </p> + <p> + [MASHA is whistling gently.] + </p> + <p> + IRINA. Everything will be arranged, please God. [Looks out of the + window] It’s nice out to-day. I don’t know why I’m so happy: I + remembered this morning that it was my name-day, and I suddenly felt + glad and remembered my childhood, when mother was still with us. What + beautiful thoughts I had, what thoughts! + </p> + <p> + OLGA. You’re all radiance to-day, I’ve never seen you look so lovely. + And Masha is pretty, too. Andrey wouldn’t be bad-looking, if he wasn’t + so stout; it does spoil his appearance. But I’ve grown old and very + thin, I suppose it’s because I get angry with the girls at school. + To-day I’m free. I’m at home. I haven’t got a headache, and I feel + younger than I was yesterday. I’m only twenty-eight.... All’s well, God + is everywhere, but it seems to me that if only I were married and could + stay at home all day, it would be even better. [Pause] I should love my + husband. + </p> + <p> + TUZENBACH. [To SOLENI] I’m tired of listening to the rot you talk. + [Entering the sitting-room] I forgot to say that Vershinin, our new + lieutenant-colonel of artillery, is coming to see us to-day. [Sits down + to the piano.] + </p> + <p> + OLGA. That’s good. I’m glad. + </p> + <p> + IRINA. Is he old? + </p> + <p> + TUZENBACH. Oh, no. Forty or forty-five, at the very outside. [Plays + softly] He seems rather a good sort. He’s certainly no fool, only he + likes to hear himself speak. + </p> + <p> + IRINA. Is he interesting? + </p> + <p> + TUZENBACH. Oh, he’s all right, but there’s his wife, his mother-in-law, + and two daughters. This is his second wife. He pays calls and tells + everybody that he’s got a wife and two daughters. He’ll tell you so + here. The wife isn’t all there, she does her hair like a flapper and + gushes extremely. She talks philosophy and tries to commit suicide every + now and again, apparently in order to annoy her husband. I should have + left her long ago, but he bears up patiently, and just grumbles. + </p> + <p> + SOLENI. [Enters with CHEBUTIKIN from the dining-room] With one hand I + can only lift fifty-four pounds, but with both hands I can lift 180, or + even 200 pounds. From this I conclude that two men are not twice as + strong as one, but three times, perhaps even more.... + </p> + <p> + CHEBUTIKIN. [Reads a newspaper as he walks] If your hair is coming + out... take an ounce of naphthaline and hail a bottle of spirit... + dissolve and use daily.... [Makes a note in his pocket diary] When found + make a note of! Not that I want it though.... [Crosses it out] It + doesn’t matter. + </p> + <p> + IRINA. Ivan Romanovitch, dear Ivan Romanovitch! + </p> + <p> + CHEBUTIKIN. What does my own little girl want? + </p> + <p> + IRINA. Ivan Romanovitch, dear Ivan Romanovitch! I feel as if I were + sailing under the broad blue sky with great white birds around me. Why + is that? Why? + </p> + <p> + CHEBUTIKIN. [Kisses her hands, tenderly] My white bird.... + </p> + <p> + IRINA. When I woke up to-day and got up and dressed myself, I suddenly + began to feel as if everything in this life was open to me, and that I + knew how I must live. Dear Ivan Romanovitch, I know everything. A man + must work, toil in the sweat of his brow, whoever he may be, for that is + the meaning and object of his life, his happiness, his enthusiasm. How + fine it is to be a workman who gets up at daybreak and breaks stones in + the street, or a shepherd, or a schoolmaster, who teaches children, or + an engine-driver on the railway.... My God, let alone a man, it’s better + to be an ox, or just a horse, so long as it can work, than a young woman + who wakes up at twelve o’clock, has her coffee in bed, and then spends + two hours dressing.... Oh it’s awful! Sometimes when it’s hot, your + thirst can be just as tiresome as my need for work. And if I don’t get + up early in future and work, Ivan Romanovitch, then you may refuse me + your friendship. + </p> + <p> + CHEBUTIKIN. [Tenderly] I’ll refuse, I’ll refuse.... + </p> + <p> + OLGA. Father used to make us get up at seven. Now Irina wakes at seven + and lies and meditates about something till nine at least. And she looks + so serious! [Laughs.] + </p> + <p> + IRINA. You’re so used to seeing me as a little girl that it seems queer + to you when my face is serious. I’m twenty! + </p> + <p> + TUZENBACH. How well I can understand that craving for work, oh God! I’ve + never worked once in my life. I was born in Petersburg, a chilly, lazy + place, in a family which never knew what work or worry meant. I remember + that when I used to come home from my regiment, a footman used to have + to pull off my boots while I fidgeted and my mother looked on in + adoration and wondered why other people didn’t see me in the same light. + They shielded me from work; but only just in time! A new age is dawning, + the people are marching on us all, a powerful, health-giving storm is + gathering, it is drawing near, soon it will be upon us and it will drive + away laziness, indifference, the prejudice against labour, and rotten + dullness from our society. I shall work, and in twenty-five or thirty + years, every man will have to work. Every one! + </p> + <p> + CHEBUTIKIN. I shan’t work. + </p> + <p> + TUZENBACH. You don’t matter. + </p> + <p> + SOLENI. In twenty-five years’ time, we shall all be dead, thank the + Lord. In two or three years’ time apoplexy will carry you off, or else + I’ll blow your brains out, my pet. [Takes a scent-bottle out of his + pocket and sprinkles his chest and hands.] + </p> + <p> + CHEBUTIKIN. [Laughs] It’s quite true, I never have worked. After I came + down from the university I never stirred a finger or opened a book, I + just read the papers.... [Takes another newspaper out of his pocket] + Here we are.... I’ve learnt from the papers that there used to be one, + Dobrolubov [Note: Dobroluboy (1836-81), in spite of the shortness of his + career, established himself as one of the classic literary critics of + Russia], for instance, but what he wrote—I don’t know... God only + knows.... [Somebody is heard tapping on the floor from below] There.... + They’re calling me downstairs, somebody’s come to see me. I’ll be back + in a minute... won’t be long.... [Exit hurriedly, scratching his beard.] + </p> + <p> + IRINA. He’s up to something. + </p> + <p> + TUZENBACH. Yes, he looked so pleased as he went out that I’m pretty + certain he’ll bring you a present in a moment. + </p> + <p> + IRINA. How unpleasant! + </p> + <p> + OLGA. Yes, it’s awful. He’s always doing silly things. + </p> + MASHA. +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + “There stands a green oak by the sea. + And a chain of bright gold is around it... + And a chain of bright gold is around it....” + </pre> + <p> + [Gets up and sings softly.] + </p> + <p> + OLGA. You’re not very bright to-day, Masha. [MASHA sings, putting on her + hat] Where are you off to? + </p> + <p> + MASHA. Home. + </p> + <p> + IRINA. That’s odd.... + </p> + <p> + TUZENBACH. On a name-day, too! + </p> + <p> + MASHA. It doesn’t matter. I’ll come in the evening. Good-bye, dear. + [Kisses MASHA] Many happy returns, though I’ve said it before. In the + old days when father was alive, every time we had a name-day, thirty or + forty officers used to come, and there was lots of noise and fun, and + to-day there’s only a man and a half, and it’s as quiet as a desert... + I’m off... I’ve got the hump to-day, and am not at all cheerful, so + don’t you mind me. [Laughs through her tears] We’ll have a talk later + on, but good-bye for the present, my dear; I’ll go somewhere. + </p> + <p> + IRINA. [Displeased] You are queer.... + </p> + <p> + OLGA. [Crying] I understand you, Masha. + </p> + <p> + SOLENI. When a man talks philosophy, well, it is philosophy or at any + rate sophistry; but when a woman, or two women, talk philosophy—it’s + all my eye. + </p> + <p> + MASHA. What do you mean by that, you very awful man? + </p> + <p> + SOLENI. Oh, nothing. You came down on me before I could say... help! + [Pause.] + </p> + <p> + MASHA. [Angrily, to OLGA] Don’t cry! + </p> + <p> + [Enter ANFISA and FERAPONT with a cake.] + </p> + <p> + ANFISA. This way, my dear. Come in, your feet are clean. [To IRINA] From + the District Council, from Mihail Ivanitch Protopopov... a cake. + </p> + <p> + IRINA. Thank you. Please thank him. [Takes the cake.] + </p> + <p> + FERAPONT. What? + </p> + <p> + IRINA. [Louder] Please thank him. + </p> + <p> + OLGA. Give him a pie, nurse. Ferapont, go, she’ll give you a pie. + </p> + <p> + FERAPONT. What? + </p> + <p> + ANFISA. Come on, gran’fer, Ferapont Spiridonitch. Come on. [Exeunt.] + </p> + <p> + MASHA. I don’t like this Mihail Potapitch or Ivanitch, Protopopov. We + oughtn’t to invite him here. + </p> + <p> + IRINA. I never asked him. + </p> + <p> + MASHA. That’s all right. + </p> + <p> + [Enter CHEBUTIKIN followed by a soldier with a silver samovar; there is + a rumble of dissatisfied surprise.] + </p> + <p> + OLGA. [Covers her face with her hands] A samovar! That’s awful! [Exit + into the dining-room, to the table.] + </p> + <p> + IRINA. My dear Ivan Romanovitch, what are you doing! + </p> + <p> + TUZENBACH. [Laughs] I told you so! + </p> + <p> + MASHA. Ivan Romanovitch, you are simply shameless! + </p> + <p> + CHEBUTIKIN. My dear good girl, you are the only thing, and the dearest + thing I have in the world. I’ll soon be sixty. I’m an old man, a lonely + worthless old man. The only good thing in me is my love for you, and if + it hadn’t been for that, I would have been dead long ago.... [To IRINA] + My dear little girl, I’ve known you since the day of your birth, I’ve + carried you in my arms... I loved your dead mother.... + </p> + <p> + MASHA. But your presents are so expensive! + </p> + <p> + CHEBUTIKIN. [Angrily, through his tears] Expensive presents.... You + really, are!... [To the orderly] Take the samovar in there.... [Teasing] + Expensive presents! + </p> + <p> + [The orderly goes into the dining-room with the samovar.] + </p> + <p> + ANFISA. [Enters and crosses stage] My dear, there’s a strange Colonel + come! He’s taken off his coat already. Children, he’s coming here. Irina + darling, you’ll be a nice and polite little girl, won’t you.... Should + have lunched a long time ago.... Oh, Lord.... [Exit.] + </p> + <p> + TUZENBACH. It must be Vershinin. [Enter VERSHININ] Lieutenant-Colonel + Vershinin! + </p> + <p> + VERSHININ. [To MASHA and IRINA] I have the honour to introduce myself, + my name is Vershinin. I am very glad indeed to be able to come at last. + How you’ve grown! Oh! oh! + </p> + <p> + IRINA. Please sit down. We’re very glad you’ve come. + </p> + <p> + VERSHININ. [Gaily] I am glad, very glad! But there are three sisters, + surely. I remember—three little girls. I forget your faces, but + your father, Colonel Prosorov, used to have three little girls, I + remember that perfectly, I saw them with my own eyes. How time does fly! + Oh, dear, how it flies! + </p> + <p> + TUZENBACH. Alexander Ignateyevitch comes from Moscow. + </p> + <p> + IRINA. From Moscow? Are you from Moscow? + </p> + <p> + VERSHININ. Yes, that’s so. Your father used to be in charge of a battery + there, and I was an officer in the same brigade. [To MASHA] I seem to + remember your face a little. + </p> + <p> + MASHA. I don’t remember you. + </p> + <p> + IRINA. Olga! Olga! [Shouts into the dining-room] Olga! Come along! [OLGA + enters from the dining-room] Lieutenant Colonel Vershinin comes from + Moscow, as it happens. + </p> + <p> + VERSHININ. I take it that you are Olga Sergeyevna, the eldest, and that + you are Maria... and you are Irina, the youngest.... + </p> + <p> + OLGA. So you come from Moscow? + </p> + <p> + VERSHININ. Yes. I went to school in Moscow and began my service there; I + was there for a long time until at last I got my battery and moved over + here, as you see. I don’t really remember you, I only remember that + there used to be three sisters. I remember your father well; I have only + to shut my eyes to see him as he was. I used to come to your house in + Moscow.... + </p> + <p> + OLGA. I used to think I remembered everybody, but... + </p> + <p> + VERSHININ. My name is Alexander Ignateyevitch. + </p> + <p> + IRINA. Alexander Ignateyevitch, you’ve come from Moscow. That is really + quite a surprise! + </p> + <p> + OLGA. We are going to live there, you see. + </p> + <p> + IRINA. We think we may be there this autumn. It’s our native town, we + were born there. In Old Basmanni Road.... [They both laugh for joy.] + </p> + <p> + MASHA. We’ve unexpectedly met a fellow countryman. [Briskly] I remember: + Do you remember, Olga, they used to speak at home of a “lovelorn Major.” + You were only a Lieutenant then, and in love with somebody, but for some + reason they always called you a Major for fun. + </p> + <p> + VERSHININ. [Laughs] That’s it... the lovelorn Major, that’s got it! + </p> + <p> + MASHA. You only wore moustaches then. You have grown older! [Through her + tears] You have grown older! + </p> + <p> + VERSHININ. Yes, when they used to call me the lovelorn Major, I was + young and in love. I’ve grown out of both now. + </p> + <p> + OLGA. But you haven’t a single white hair yet. You’re older, but you’re + not yet old. + </p> + <p> + VERSHININ. I’m forty-two, anyway. Have you been away from Moscow long? + </p> + <p> + IRINA. Eleven years. What are you crying for, Masha, you little fool.... + [Crying] And I’m crying too. + </p> + <p> + MASHA. It’s all right. And where did you live? + </p> + <p> + VERSHININ. Old Basmanni Road. + </p> + <p> + OLGA. Same as we. + </p> + <p> + VERSHININ. Once I used to live in German Street. That was when the Red + Barracks were my headquarters. There’s an ugly bridge in between, where + the water rushes underneath. One gets melancholy when one is alone + there. [Pause] Here the river is so wide and fine! It’s a splendid + river! + </p> + <p> + OLGA. Yes, but it’s so cold. It’s very cold here, and the midges.... + </p> + <p> + VERSHININ. What are you saying! Here you’ve got such a fine healthy + Russian climate. You’ve a forest, a river... and birches. Dear, modest + birches, I like them more than any other tree. It’s good to live here. + Only it’s odd that the railway station should be thirteen miles away.... + Nobody knows why. + </p> + <p> + SOLENI. I know why. [All look at him] Because if it was near it wouldn’t + be far off, and if it’s far off, it can’t be near. [An awkward pause.] + </p> + <p> + TUZENBACH. Funny man. + </p> + <p> + OLGA. Now I know who you are. I remember. + </p> + <p> + VERSHININ. I used to know your mother. + </p> + <p> + CHEBUTIKIN. She was a good woman, rest her soul. + </p> + <p> + IRINA. Mother is buried in Moscow. + </p> + <p> + OLGA. At the Novo-Devichi Cemetery. + </p> + <p> + MASHA. Do you know, I’m beginning to forget her face. We’ll be forgotten + in just the same way. + </p> + <p> + VERSHININ. Yes, they’ll forget us. It’s our fate, it can’t be helped. A + time will come when everything that seems serious, significant, or very + important to us will be forgotten, or considered trivial. [Pause] And + the curious thing is that we can’t possibly find out what will come to + be regarded as great and important, and what will be feeble, or silly. + Didn’t the discoveries of Copernicus, or Columbus, say, seem unnecessary + and ludicrous at first, while wasn’t it thought that some rubbish + written by a fool, held all the truth? And it may so happen that our + present existence, with which we are so satisfied, will in time appear + strange, inconvenient, stupid, unclean, perhaps even sinful.... + </p> + <p> + TUZENBACH. Who knows? But on the other hand, they may call our life + noble and honour its memory. We’ve abolished torture and capital + punishment, we live in security, but how much suffering there is still! + </p> + <p> + SOLENI. [In a feeble voice] There, there.... The Baron will go without + his dinner if you only let him talk philosophy. + </p> + <p> + TUZENBACH. Vassili Vassilevitch, kindly leave me alone. [Changes his + chair] You’re very dull, you know. + </p> + <p> + SOLENI. [Feebly] There, there, there. + </p> + <p> + TUZENBACH. [To VERSHININ] The sufferings we see to-day—there are + so many of them!—still indicate a certain moral improvement in + society. + </p> + <p> + VERSHININ. Yes, yes, of course. + </p> + <p> + CHEBUTIKIN. You said just now, Baron, that they may call our life noble; + but we are very petty.... [Stands up] See how little I am. [Violin + played behind.] + </p> + <p> + MASHA. That’s Andrey playing—our brother. + </p> + <p> + IRINA. He’s the learned member of the family. I expect he will be a + professor some day. Father was a soldier, but his son chose an academic + career for himself. + </p> + <p> + MASHA. That was father’s wish. + </p> + <p> + OLGA. We ragged him to-day. We think he’s a little in love. + </p> + <p> + IRINA. To a local lady. She will probably come here to-day. + </p> + <p> + MASHA. You should see the way she dresses! Quite prettily, quite + fashionably too, but so badly! Some queer bright yellow skirt with a + wretched little fringe and a red bodice. And such a complexion! Andrey + isn’t in love. After all he has taste, he’s simply making fun of us. I + heard yesterday that she was going to marry Protopopov, the chairman of + the Local Council. That would do her nicely.... [At the side door] + Andrey, come here! Just for a minute, dear! [Enter ANDREY.] + </p> + <p> + OLGA. My brother, Andrey Sergeyevitch. + </p> + <p> + VERSHININ. My name is Vershinin. + </p> + <p> + ANDREY. Mine is Prosorov. [Wipes his perspiring hands] You’ve come to + take charge of the battery? + </p> + <p> + OLGA. Just think, Alexander Ignateyevitch comes from Moscow. + </p> + <p> + ANDREY. That’s all right. Now my little sisters won’t give you any rest. + </p> + <p> + VERSHININ. I’ve already managed to bore your sisters. + </p> + <p> + IRINA. Just look what a nice little photograph frame Andrey gave me + to-day. [Shows it] He made it himself. + </p> + <p> + VERSHININ. [Looks at the frame and does not know what to say] Yes.... + It’s a thing that... + </p> + <p> + IRINA. And he made that frame there, on the piano as well. [Andrey waves + his hand and walks away.] + </p> + <p> + OLGA. He’s got a degree, and plays the violin, and cuts all sorts of + things out of wood, and is really a domestic Admirable Crichton. Don’t + go away, Andrey! He’s got into a habit of always going away. Come here! + </p> + <p> + [MASHA and IRINA take his arms and laughingly lead him back.] + </p> + <p> + MASHA. Come on, come on! + </p> + <p> + ANDREY. Please leave me alone. + </p> + <p> + MASHA. You are funny. Alexander Ignateyevitch used to be called the + lovelorn Major, but he never minded. + </p> + <p> + VERSHININ. Not the least. + </p> + <p> + MASHA. I’d like to call you the lovelorn fiddler! + </p> + <p> + IRINA. Or the lovelorn professor! + </p> + <p> + OLGA. He’s in love! little Andrey is in love! + </p> + <p> + IRINA. [Applauds] Bravo, Bravo! Encore! Little Andrey is in love. + </p> + <p> + CHEBUTIKIN. [Goes up behind ANDREY and takes him round the waist with + both arms] Nature only brought us into the world that we should love! + [Roars with laughter, then sits down and reads a newspaper which he + takes out of his pocket.] + </p> + <p> + ANDREY. That’s enough, quite enough.... [Wipes his face] I couldn’t + sleep all night and now I can’t quite find my feet, so to speak. I read + until four o’clock, then tried to sleep, but nothing happened. I thought + about one thing and another, and then it dawned and the sun crawled into + my bedroom. This summer, while I’m here, I want to translate a book from + the English.... + </p> + <p> + VERSHININ. Do you read English? + </p> + <p> + ANDREY. Yes father, rest his soul, educated us almost violently. It may + seem funny and silly, but it’s nevertheless true, that after his death I + began to fill out and get rounder, as if my body had had some great + pressure taken off it. Thanks to father, my sisters and I know French, + German, and English, and Irina knows Italian as well. But we paid dearly + for it all! + </p> + <p> + MASHA. A knowledge of three languages is an unnecessary luxury in this + town. It isn’t even a luxury but a sort of useless extra, like a sixth + finger. We know a lot too much. + </p> + <p> + VERSHININ. Well, I say! [Laughs] You know a lot too much! I don’t think + there can really be a town so dull and stupid as to have no place for a + clever, cultured person. Let us suppose even that among the hundred + thousand inhabitants of this backward and uneducated town, there are + only three persons like yourself. It stands to reason that you won’t be + able to conquer that dark mob around you; little by little as you grow + older you will be bound to give way and lose yourselves in this crowd of + a hundred thousand human beings; their life will suck you up in itself, + but still, you won’t disappear having influenced nobody; later on, + others like you will come, perhaps six of them, then twelve, and so on, + until at last your sort will be in the majority. In two or three hundred + years’ time life on this earth will be unimaginably beautiful and + wonderful. Mankind needs such a life, and if it is not ours to-day then + we must look ahead for it, wait, think, prepare for it. We must see and + know more than our fathers and grandfathers saw and knew. [Laughs] And + you complain that you know too much. + </p> + <p> + MASHA. [Takes off her hat] I’ll stay to lunch. + </p> + <p> + IRINA. [Sighs] Yes, all that ought to be written down. + </p> + <p> + [ANDREY has gone out quietly.] + </p> + <p> + TUZENBACH. You say that many years later on, life on this earth will be + beautiful and wonderful. That’s true. But to share in it now, even + though at a distance, we must prepare by work.... + </p> + <p> + VERSHININ. [Gets up] Yes. What a lot of flowers you have. [Looks round] + It’s a beautiful flat. I envy you! I’ve spent my whole life in rooms + with two chairs, one sofa, and fires which always smoke. I’ve never had + flowers like these in my life.... [Rubs his hands] Well, well! + </p> + <p> + TUZENBACH. Yes, we must work. You are probably thinking to yourself: the + German lets himself go. But I assure you I’m a Russian, I can’t even + speak German. My father belonged to the Orthodox Church.... [Pause.] + </p> + <p> + VERSHININ. [Walks about the stage] I often wonder: suppose we could + begin life over again, knowing what we were doing? Suppose we could use + one life, already ended, as a sort of rough draft for another? I think + that every one of us would try, more than anything else, not to repeat + himself, at the very least he would rearrange his manner of life, he + would make sure of rooms like these, with flowers and light... I have a + wife and two daughters, my wife’s health is delicate and so on and so + on, and if I had to begin life all over again I would not marry.... No, + no! + </p> + <p> + [Enter KULIGIN in a regulation jacket.] + </p> + <p> + KULIGIN. [Going up to IRINA] Dear sister, allow me to congratulate you + on the day sacred to your good angel and to wish you, sincerely and from + the bottom of my heart, good health and all that one can wish for a girl + of your years. And then let me offer you this book as a present. [Gives + it to her] It is the history of our High School during the last fifty + years, written by myself. The book is worthless, and written because I + had nothing to do, but read it all the same. Good day, gentlemen! [To + VERSHININ] My name is Kuligin, I am a master of the local High School. + [Note: He adds that he is a <i>Nadvorny Sovetnik</i> (almost the same as + a German <i>Hofrat</i>), an undistinguished civilian title with no + English equivalent.] [To IRINA] In this book you will find a list of all + those who have taken the full course at our High School during these + fifty years. <i>Feci quod potui, faciant meliora potentes</i>. [Kisses + MASHA.] + </p> + <p> + IRINA. But you gave me one of these at Easter. + </p> + <p> + KULIGIN. [Laughs] I couldn’t have, surely! You’d better give it back to + me in that case, or else give it to the Colonel. Take it, Colonel. + You’ll read it some day when you’re bored. + </p> + <p> + VERSHININ. Thank you. [Prepares to go] I am extremely happy to have made + the acquaintance of... + </p> + <p> + OLGA. Must you go? No, not yet? + </p> + <p> + IRINA. You’ll stop and have lunch with us. Please do. + </p> + <p> + OLGA. Yes, please! + </p> + <p> + VERSHININ. [Bows] I seem to have dropped in on your name-day. Forgive + me, I didn’t know, and I didn’t offer you my congratulations. [Goes with + OLGA into the dining-room.] + </p> + <p> + KULIGIN. To-day is Sunday, the day of rest, so let us rest and rejoice, + each in a manner compatible with his age and disposition. The carpets + will have to be taken up for the summer and put away till the winter... + Persian powder or naphthaline.... The Romans were healthy because they + knew both how to work and how to rest, they had <i>mens sana in corpore + sano</i>. Their life ran along certain recognized patterns. Our director + says: “The chief thing about each life is its pattern. Whoever loses his + pattern is lost himself”—and it’s just the same in our daily life. + [Takes MASHA by the waist, laughing] Masha loves me. My wife loves me. + And you ought to put the window curtains away with the carpets.... I’m + feeling awfully pleased with life to-day. Masha, we’ve got to be at the + director’s at four. They’re getting up a walk for the pedagogues and + their families. + </p> + <p> + MASHA. I shan’t go. + </p> + <p> + KULIGIN. [Hurt] My dear Masha, why not? + </p> + <p> + MASHA. I’ll tell you later.... [Angrily] All right, I’ll go, only please + stand back.... [Steps away.] + </p> + <p> + KULIGIN. And then we’re to spend the evening at the director’s. In spite + of his ill-health that man tries, above everything else, to be sociable. + A splendid, illuminating personality. A wonderful man. After yesterday’s + committee he said to me: “I’m tired, Feodor Ilitch, I’m tired!” [Looks + at the clock, then at his watch] Your clock is seven minutes fast. + “Yes,” he said, “I’m tired.” [Violin played off.] + </p> + <p> + OLGA. Let’s go and have lunch! There’s to be a masterpiece of baking! + </p> + <p> + KULIGIN. Oh my dear Olga, my dear. Yesterday I was working till eleven + o’clock at night, and got awfully tired. To-day I’m quite happy. [Goes + into dining-room] My dear... + </p> + <p> + CHEBUTIKIN. [Puts his paper into his pocket, and combs his beard] A pie? + Splendid! + </p> + <p> + MASHA. [Severely to CHEBUTIKIN] Only mind; you’re not to drink anything + to-day. Do you hear? It’s bad for you. + </p> + <p> + CHEBUTIKIN. Oh, that’s all right. I haven’t been drunk for two years. + And it’s all the same, anyway! + </p> + <p> + MASHA. You’re not to dare to drink, all the same. [Angrily, but so that + her husband should not hear] Another dull evening at the Director’s, + confound it! + </p> + <p> + TUZENBACH. I shouldn’t go if I were you.... It’s quite simple. + </p> + <p> + CHEBUTIKIN. Don’t go. + </p> + <p> + MASHA. Yes, “don’t go....” It’s a cursed, unbearable life.... [Goes into + dining-room.] + </p> + <p> + CHEBUTIKIN. [Follows her] It’s not so bad. + </p> + <p> + SOLENI. [Going into the dining-room] There, there, there.... + </p> + <p> + TUZENBACH. Vassili Vassilevitch, that’s enough. Be quiet! + </p> + <p> + SOLENI. There, there, there.... + </p> + <p> + KULIGIN. [Gaily] Your health, Colonel! I’m a pedagogue and not quite at + home here. I’m Masha’s husband.... She’s a good sort, a very good sort. + </p> + <p> + VERSHININ. I’ll have some of this black vodka.... [Drinks] Your health! + [To OLGA] I’m very comfortable here! + </p> + <p> + [Only IRINA and TUZENBACH are now left in the sitting-room.] + </p> + <p> + IRINA. Masha’s out of sorts to-day. She married when she was eighteen, + when he seemed to her the wisest of men. And now it’s different. He’s + the kindest man, but not the wisest. + </p> + <p> + OLGA. [Impatiently] Andrey, when are you coming? + </p> + <p> + ANDREY. [Off] One minute. [Enters and goes to the table.] + </p> + <p> + TUZENBACH. What are you thinking about? + </p> + <p> + IRINA. I don’t like this Soleni of yours and I’m afraid of him. He only + says silly things. + </p> + <p> + TUZENBACH. He’s a queer man. I’m sorry for him, though he vexes me. I + think he’s shy. When there are just the two of us he’s quite all right + and very good company; when other people are about he’s rough and + hectoring. Don’t let’s go in, let them have their meal without us. Let + me stay with you. What are you thinking of? [Pause] You’re twenty. I’m + not yet thirty. How many years are there left to us, with their long, + long lines of days, filled with my love for you.... + </p> + <p> + IRINA. Nicolai Lvovitch, don’t speak to me of love. + </p> + <p> + TUZENBACH. [Does not hear] I’ve a great thirst for life, struggle, and + work, and this thirst has united with my love for you, Irina, and you’re + so beautiful, and life seems so beautiful to me! What are you thinking + about? + </p> + <p> + IRINA. You say that life is beautiful. Yes, if only it seems so! The + life of us three hasn’t been beautiful yet; it has been stifling us as + if it was weeds... I’m crying. I oughtn’t.... [Dries her tears, smiles] + We must work, work. That is why we are unhappy and look at the world so + sadly; we don’t know what work is. Our parents despised work.... + </p> + <p> + [Enter NATALIA IVANOVA; she wears a pink dress and a green sash.] + </p> + <p> + NATASHA. They’re already at lunch... I’m late... [Carefully examines + herself in a mirror, and puts herself straight] I think my hair’s done + all right.... [Sees IRINA] Dear Irina Sergeyevna, I congratulate you! + [Kisses her firmly and at length] You’ve so many visitors, I’m really + ashamed.... How do you do, Baron! + </p> + <p> + OLGA. [Enters from dining-room] Here’s Natalia Ivanovna. How are you, + dear! [They kiss.] + </p> + <p> + NATASHA. Happy returns. I’m awfully shy, you’ve so many people here. + </p> + <p> + OLGA. All our friends. [Frightened, in an undertone] You’re wearing a + green sash! My dear, you shouldn’t! + </p> + <p> + NATASHA. Is it a sign of anything? + </p> + <p> + OLGA. No, it simply doesn’t go well... and it looks so queer. + </p> + <p> + NATASHA. [In a tearful voice] Yes? But it isn’t really green, it’s too + dull for that. [Goes into dining-room with OLGA.] + </p> + <p> + [They have all sat down to lunch in the dining-room, the sitting-room is + empty.] + </p> + <p> + KULIGIN. I wish you a nice fiancée, Irina. It’s quite time you married. + </p> + <p> + CHEBUTIKIN. Natalia Ivanovna, I wish you the same. + </p> + <p> + KULIGIN. Natalia Ivanovna has a fiancé already. + </p> + <p> + MASHA. [Raps with her fork on a plate] Let’s all get drunk and make life + purple for once! + </p> + <p> + KULIGIN. You’ve lost three good conduct marks. + </p> + <p> + VERSHININ. This is a nice drink. What’s it made of? + </p> + <p> + SOLENI. Blackbeetles. + </p> + <p> + IRINA. [Tearfully] Phoo! How disgusting! + </p> + <p> + OLGA. There is to be a roast turkey and a sweet apple pie for dinner. + Thank goodness I can spend all day and the evening at home. You’ll come + in the evening, ladies and gentlemen.... + </p> + <p> + VERSHININ. And please may I come in the evening! + </p> + <p> + IRINA. Please do. + </p> + <p> + NATASHA. They don’t stand on ceremony here. + </p> + <p> + CHEBUTIKIN. Nature only brought us into the world that we should love! + [Laughs.] + </p> + <p> + ANDREY. [Angrily] Please don’t! Aren’t you tired of it? + </p> + <p> + [Enter FEDOTIK and RODE with a large basket of flowers.] + </p> + <p> + FEDOTIK. They’re lunching already. + </p> + <p> + RODE. [Loudly and thickly] Lunching? Yes, so they are.... + </p> + <p> + FEDOTIK. Wait a minute! [Takes a photograph] That’s one. No, just a + moment.... [Takes another] That’s two. Now we’re ready! + </p> + <p> + [They take the basket and go into the dining-room, where they have a + noisy reception.] + </p> + <p> + RODE. [Loudly] Congratulations and best wishes! Lovely weather to-day, + simply perfect. Was out walking with the High School students all the + morning. I take their drills. + </p> + <p> + FEDOTIK. You may move, Irina Sergeyevna! [Takes a photograph] You look + well to-day. [Takes a humming-top out of his pocket] Here’s a + humming-top, by the way. It’s got a lovely note! + </p> + <p> + IRINA. How awfully nice! + </p> + MASHA. +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + “There stands a green oak by the sea, + And a chain of bright gold is around it... + And a chain of bright gold is around it...” + </pre> + <p> + [Tearfully] What am I saying that for? I’ve had those words running in + my head all day.... + </p> + <p> + KULIGIN. There are thirteen at table! + </p> + <p> + RODE. [Aloud] Surely you don’t believe in that superstition? [Laughter.] + </p> + <p> + KULIGIN. If there are thirteen at table then it means there are lovers + present. It isn’t you, Ivan Romanovitch, hang it all.... [Laughter.] + </p> + <p> + CHEBUTIKIN. I’m a hardened sinner, but I really don’t see why Natalia + Ivanovna should blush.... + </p> + <p> + [Loud laughter; NATASHA runs out into the sitting-room, followed by + ANDREY.] + </p> + <p> + ANDREY. Don’t pay any attention to them! Wait... do stop, please.... + </p> + <p> + NATASHA. I’m shy... I don’t know what’s the matter with me and they’re + all laughing at me. It wasn’t nice of me to leave the table like that, + but I can’t... I can’t. [Covers her face with her hands.] + </p> + <p> + ANDREY. My dear, I beg you. I implore you not to excite yourself. I + assure you they’re only joking, they’re kind people. My dear, good girl, + they’re all kind and sincere people, and they like both you and me. Come + here to the window, they can’t see us here.... [Looks round.] + </p> + <p> + NATASHA. I’m so unaccustomed to meeting people! + </p> + <p> + ANDREY. Oh your youth, your splendid, beautiful youth! My darling, don’t + be so excited! Believe me, believe me... I’m so happy, my soul is full + of love, of ecstasy.... They don’t see us! They can’t! Why, why or when + did I fall in love with you—Oh, I can’t understand anything. My + dear, my pure darling, be my wife! I love you, love you... as never + before.... [They kiss.] + </p> + <p> + [Two officers come in and, seeing the lovers kiss, stop in + astonishment.] + </p> + <p> + Curtain. + </p> + <a name="link2H_4_0010" id="link2H_4_0010"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + ACT II + </h2> + <p> + [Scene as before. It is 8 p.m. Somebody is heard playing a concertina + outside in’ the street. There is no fire. NATALIA IVANOVNA enters in + indoor dress carrying a candle; she stops by the door which leads into + ANDREY’S room.] + </p> + <p> + NATASHA. What are you doing, Andrey? Are you reading? It’s nothing, only + I.... [She opens another door, and looks in, then closes it] Isn’t there + any fire.... + </p> + <p> + ANDREY. [Enters with book in hand] What are you doing, Natasha? + </p> + <p> + NATASHA. I was looking to see if there wasn’t a fire. It’s Shrovetide, + and the servant is simply beside herself; I must look out that something + doesn’t happen. When I came through the dining-room yesterday midnight, + there was a candle burning. I couldn’t get her to tell me who had + lighted it. [Puts down her candle] What’s the time? + </p> + <p> + ANDREY. [Looks at his watch] A quarter past eight. + </p> + <p> + NATASHA. And Olga and Irina aren’t in yet. The poor things are still at + work. Olga at the teacher’s council, Irina at the telegraph office.... + [Sighs] I said to your sister this morning, “Irina, darling, you must + take care of yourself.” But she pays no attention. Did you say it was a + quarter past eight? I am afraid little Bobby is quite ill. Why is he so + cold? He was feverish yesterday, but to-day he is quite cold... I am so + frightened! + </p> + <p> + ANDREY. It’s all right, Natasha. The boy is well. + </p> + <p> + NATASHA. Still, I think we ought to put him on a diet. I am so afraid. + And the entertainers were to be here after nine; they had better not + come, Audrey. + </p> + <p> + ANDREY. I don’t know. After all, they were asked. + </p> + <p> + NATASHA. This morning, when the little boy woke up and saw me he + suddenly smiled; that means he knew me. “Good morning, Bobby!” I said, + “good morning, darling.” And he laughed. Children understand, they + understand very well. So I’ll tell them, Andrey dear, not to receive the + entertainers. + </p> + <p> + ANDREY. [Hesitatingly] But what about my sisters. This is their flat. + </p> + <p> + NATASHA. They’ll do as I want them. They are so kind.... [Going] I + ordered sour milk for supper. The doctor says you must eat sour milk and + nothing else, or you won’t get thin. [Stops] Bobby is so cold. I’m + afraid his room is too cold for him. It would be nice to put him into + another room till the warm weather comes. Irina’s room, for instance, is + just right for a child: it’s dry and has the sun all day. I must tell + her, she can share Olga’s room. It isn’t as if she was at home in the + daytime, she only sleeps here.... [A pause] Andrey, darling, why are you + so silent? + </p> + <p> + ANDREY. I was just thinking.... There is really nothing to say.... + </p> + <p> + NATASHA. Yes... there was something I wanted to tell you.... Oh, yes. + Ferapont has come from the Council offices, he wants to see you. + </p> + <p> + ANDREY. [Yawns] Call him here. + </p> + <p> + [NATASHA goes out; ANDREY reads his book, stooping over the candle she + has left behind. FERAPONT enters; he wears a tattered old coat with the + collar up. His ears are muffled.] + </p> + <p> + ANDREY. Good morning, grandfather. What have you to say? + </p> + <p> + FERAPONT. The Chairman sends a book and some documents or other. + Here.... [Hands him a book and a packet.] + </p> + <p> + ANDREY. Thank you. It’s all right. Why couldn’t you come earlier? It’s + past eight now. + </p> + <p> + FERAPONT. What? + </p> + <p> + ANDREY. [Louder]. I say you’ve come late, it’s past eight. + </p> + <p> + FERAPONT. Yes, yes. I came when it was still light, but they wouldn’t + let me in. They said you were busy. Well, what was I to do. If you’re + busy, you’re busy, and I’m in no hurry. [He thinks that ANDREY is asking + him something] What? + </p> + <p> + ANDREY. Nothing. [Looks through the book] To-morrow’s Friday. I’m not + supposed to go to work, but I’ll come—all the same... and do some + work. It’s dull at home. [Pause] Oh, my dear old man, how strangely life + changes, and how it deceives! To-day, out of sheer boredom, I took up + this book—old university lectures, and I couldn’t help laughing. + My God, I’m secretary of the local district council, the council which + has Protopopov for its chairman, yes, I’m the secretary, and the summit + of my ambitions is—to become a member of the council! I to be a + member of the local district council, I, who dream every night that I’m + a professor of Moscow University, a famous scholar of whom all Russia is + proud! + </p> + <p> + FERAPONT. I can’t tell... I’m hard of hearing.... + </p> + <p> + ANDREY. If you weren’t, I don’t suppose I should talk to you. I’ve got + to talk to somebody, and my wife doesn’t understand me, and I’m a bit + afraid of my sisters—I don’t know why unless it is that they may + make fun of me and make me feel ashamed... I don’t drink, I don’t like + public-houses, but how I should like to be sitting just now in Tyestov’s + place in Moscow, or at the Great Moscow, old fellow! + </p> + <p> + FERAPONT. Moscow? That’s where a contractor was once telling that some + merchants or other were eating pancakes; one ate forty pancakes and he + went and died, he was saying. Either forty or fifty, I forget which. + </p> + <p> + ANDREY. In Moscow you can sit in an enormous restaurant where you don’t + know anybody and where nobody knows you, and you don’t feel all the same + that you’re a stranger. And here you know everybody and everybody knows + you, and you’re a stranger... and a lonely stranger. + </p> + <p> + FERAPONT. What? And the same contractor was telling—perhaps he was + lying—that there was a cable stretching right across Moscow. + </p> + <p> + ANDREY. What for? + </p> + <p> + FERAPONT. I can’t tell. The contractor said so. + </p> + <p> + ANDREY. Rubbish. [He reads] Were you ever in Moscow? + </p> + <p> + FERAPONT. [After a pause] No. God did not lead me there. [Pause] Shall I + go? + </p> + <p> + ANDREY. You may go. Good-bye. [FERAPONT goes] Good-bye. [Reads] You can + come to-morrow and fetch these documents.... Go along.... [Pause] He’s + gone. [A ring] Yes, yes.... [Stretches himself and slowly goes into his + own room.] + </p> + <p> + [Behind the scene the nurse is singing a lullaby to the child. MASHA and + VERSHININ come in. While they talk, a maidservant lights candles and a + lamp.] + </p> + <p> + MASHA. I don’t know. [Pause] I don’t know. Of course, habit counts for a + great deal. After father’s death, for instance, it took us a long time + to get used to the absence of orderlies. But, apart from habit, it seems + to me in all fairness that, however it may be in other towns, the best + and most-educated people are army men. + </p> + <p> + VERSHININ. I’m thirsty. I should like some tea. + </p> + <p> + MASHA. [Glancing at her watch] They’ll bring some soon. I was given in + marriage when I was eighteen, and I was afraid of my husband because he + was a teacher and I’d only just left school. He then seemed to me + frightfully wise and learned and important. And now, unfortunately, that + has changed. + </p> + <p> + VERSHININ. Yes... yes. + </p> + <p> + MASHA. I don’t speak of my husband, I’ve grown used to him, but + civilians in general are so often coarse, impolite, uneducated. Their + rudeness offends me, it angers me. I suffer when I see that a man isn’t + quite sufficiently refined, or delicate, or polite. I simply suffer + agonies when I happen to be among schoolmasters, my husband’s + colleagues. + </p> + <p> + VERSHININ. Yes.... It seems to me that civilians and army men are + equally interesting, in this town, at any rate. It’s all the same! If + you listen to a member of the local intelligentsia, whether to civilian + or military, he will tell you that he’s sick of his wife, sick of his + house, sick of his estate, sick of his horses.... We Russians are + extremely gifted in the direction of thinking on an exalted plane, but, + tell me, why do we aim so low in real life? Why? + </p> + <p> + MASHA. Why? + </p> + <p> + VERSHININ. Why is a Russian sick of his children, sick of his wife? And + why are his wife and children sick of him? + </p> + <p> + MASHA. You’re a little downhearted to-day. + </p> + <p> + VERSHININ. Perhaps I am. I haven’t had any dinner, I’ve had nothing + since the morning. My daughter is a little unwell, and when my girls are + ill, I get very anxious and my conscience tortures me because they have + such a mother. Oh, if you had seen her to-day! What a trivial + personality! We began quarrelling at seven in the morning and at nine I + slammed the door and went out. [Pause] I never speak of her, it’s + strange that I bear my complaints to you alone. [Kisses her hand] Don’t + be angry with me. I haven’t anybody but you, nobody at all.... [Pause.] + </p> + <p> + MASHA. What a noise in the oven. Just before father’s death there was a + noise in the pipe, just like that. + </p> + <p> + VERSHININ. Are you superstitious? + </p> + <p> + MASHA. Yes. + </p> + <p> + VERSHININ. That’s strange. [Kisses her hand] You are a splendid, + wonderful woman. Splendid, wonderful! It is dark here, but I see your + sparkling eyes. + </p> + <p> + MASHA. [Sits on another chair] There is more light here. + </p> + <p> + VERSHININ. I love you, love you, love you... I love your eyes, your + movements, I dream of them.... Splendid, wonderful woman! + </p> + <p> + MASHA. [Laughing] When you talk to me like that, I laugh; I don’t know + why, for I’m afraid. Don’t repeat it, please.... [In an undertone] No, + go on, it’s all the same to me.... [Covers her face with her hands] + Somebody’s coming, let’s talk about something else. + </p> + <p> + [IRINA and TUZENBACH come in through the dining-room.] + </p> + <p> + TUZENBACH. My surname is really triple. I am called Baron + Tuzenbach-Krone-Altschauer, but I am Russian and Orthodox, the same as + you. There is very little German left in me, unless perhaps it is the + patience and the obstinacy with which I bore you. I see you home every + night. + </p> + <p> + IRINA. How tired I am! + </p> + <p> + TUZENBACH. And I’ll come to the telegraph office to see you home every + day for ten or twenty years, until you drive me away. [He sees MASHA and + VERSHININ; joyfully] Is that you? How do you do. + </p> + <p> + IRINA. Well, I am home at last. [To MASHA] A lady came to-day to + telegraph to her brother in Saratov that her son died to-day, and she + couldn’t remember the address anyhow. So she sent the telegram without + an address, just to Saratov. She was crying. And for some reason or + other I was rude to her. “I’ve no time,” I said. It was so stupid. Are + the entertainers coming to-night? + </p> + <p> + MASHA. Yes. + </p> + <p> + IRINA. [Sitting down in an armchair] I want a rest. I am tired. + </p> + <p> + TUZENBACH. [Smiling] When you come home from your work you seem so + young, and so unfortunate.... [Pause.] + </p> + <p> + IRINA. I am tired. No, I don’t like the telegraph office, I don’t like + it. + </p> + <p> + MASHA. You’ve grown thinner.... [Whistles a little] And you look + younger, and your face has become like a boy’s. + </p> + <p> + TUZENBACH. That’s the way she does her hair. + </p> + <p> + IRINA. I must find another job, this one won’t do for me. What I wanted, + what I hoped to get, just that is lacking here. Labour without poetry, + without ideas.... [A knock on the floor] The doctor is knocking. [To + TUZENBACH] Will you knock, dear. I can’t... I’m tired.... [TUZENBACH + knocks] He’ll come in a minute. Something ought to be done. Yesterday + the doctor and Andrey played cards at the club and lost money. Andrey + seems to have lost 200 roubles. + </p> + <p> + MASHA. [With indifference] What can we do now? + </p> + <p> + IRINA. He lost money a fortnight ago, he lost money in December. Perhaps + if he lost everything we should go away from this town. Oh, my God, I + dream of Moscow every night. I’m just like a lunatic. [Laughs] We go + there in June, and before June there’s still... February, March, April, + May... nearly half a year! + </p> + <p> + MASHA. Only Natasha mustn’t get to know of these losses. + </p> + <p> + IRINA. I expect it will be all the same to her. + </p> + <p> + [CHEBUTIKIN, who has only just got out of bed—he was resting after + dinner—comes into the dining-room and combs his beard. He then + sits by the table and takes a newspaper from his pocket.] + </p> + <p> + MASHA. Here he is.... Has he paid his rent? + </p> + <p> + IRINA. [Laughs] No. He’s been here eight months and hasn’t paid a + copeck. Seems to have forgotten. + </p> + <p> + MASHA. [Laughs] What dignity in his pose! [They all laugh. A pause.] + </p> + <p> + IRINA. Why are you so silent, Alexander Ignateyevitch? + </p> + <p> + VERSHININ. I don’t know. I want some tea. Half my life for a tumbler of + tea: I haven’t had anything since morning. + </p> + <p> + CHEBUTIKIN. Irina Sergeyevna! + </p> + <p> + IRINA. What is it? + </p> + <p> + CHEBUTIKIN. Please come here, Venez ici. [IRINA goes and sits by the + table] I can’t do without you. [IRINA begins to play patience.] + </p> + <p> + VERSHININ. Well, if we can’t have any tea, let’s philosophize, at any + rate. + </p> + <p> + TUZENBACH. Yes, let’s. About what? + </p> + <p> + VERSHININ. About what? Let us meditate... about life as it will be after + our time; for example, in two or three hundred years. + </p> + <p> + TUZENBACH. Well? After our time people will fly about in balloons, the + cut of one’s coat will change, perhaps they’ll discover a sixth sense + and develop it, but life will remain the same, laborious, mysterious, + and happy. And in a thousand years’ time, people will still be sighing: + “Life is hard!”—and at the same time they’ll be just as afraid of + death, and unwilling to meet it, as we are. + </p> + <p> + VERSHININ. [Thoughtfully] How can I put it? It seems to me that + everything on earth must change, little by little, and is already + changing under our very eyes. After two or three hundred years, after a + thousand—the actual time doesn’t matter—a new and happy age + will begin. We, of course, shall not take part in it, but we live and + work and even suffer to-day that it should come. We create it—and + in that one object is our destiny and, if you like, our happiness. + </p> + <p> + [MASHA laughs softly.] + </p> + <p> + TUZENBACH. What is it? + </p> + <p> + MASHA. I don’t know. I’ve been laughing all day, ever since morning. + </p> + <p> + VERSHININ. I finished my education at the same point as you, I have not + studied at universities; I read a lot, but I cannot choose my books and + perhaps what I read is not at all what I should, but the longer I love, + the more I want to know. My hair is turning white, I am nearly an old + man now, but I know so little, oh, so little! But I think I know the + things that matter most, and that are most real. I know them well. And I + wish I could make you understand that there is no happiness for us, that + there should not and cannot be.... We must only work and work, and + happiness is only for our distant posterity. [Pause] If not for me, then + for the descendants of my descendants. + </p> + <p> + [FEDOTIK and RODE come into the dining-room; they sit and sing softly, + strumming on a guitar.] + </p> + <p> + TUZENBACH. According to you, one should not even think about happiness! + But suppose I am happy! + </p> + <p> + VERSHININ. No. + </p> + <p> + TUZENBACH. [Moves his hands and laughs] We do not seem to understand + each other. How can I convince you? [MASHA laughs quietly, TUZENBACH + continues, pointing at her] Yes, laugh! [To VERSHININ] Not only after + two or three centuries, but in a million years, life will still be as it + was; life does not change, it remains for ever, following its own laws + which do not concern us, or which, at any rate, you will never find out. + Migrant birds, cranes for example, fly and fly, and whatever thoughts, + high or low, enter their heads, they will still fly and not know why or + where. They fly and will continue to fly, whatever philosophers come to + life among them; they may philosophize as much as they like, only they + will fly.... + </p> + <p> + MASHA. Still, is there a meaning? + </p> + <p> + TUZENBACH. A meaning.... Now the snow is falling. What meaning? [Pause.] + </p> + <p> + MASHA. It seems to me that a man must have faith, or must search for a + faith, or his life will be empty, empty.... To live and not to know why + the cranes fly, why babies are born, why there are stars in the sky.... + Either you must know why you live, or everything is trivial, not worth a + straw. [A pause.] + </p> + <p> + VERSHININ. Still, I am sorry that my youth has gone. + </p> + <p> + MASHA. Gogol says: life in this world is a dull matter, my masters! + </p> + <p> + TUZENBACH. And I say it’s difficult to argue with you, my masters! Hang + it all. + </p> + <p> + CHEBUTIKIN. [Reading] Balzac was married at Berdichev. [IRINA is singing + softly] That’s worth making a note of. [He makes a note] Balzac was + married at Berdichev. [Goes on reading.] + </p> + <p> + IRINA. [Laying out cards, thoughtfully] Balzac was married at Berdichev. + </p> + <p> + TUZENBACH. The die is cast. I’ve handed in my resignation, Maria + Sergeyevna. + </p> + <p> + MASHA. So I heard. I don’t see what good it is; I don’t like civilians. + </p> + <p> + TUZENBACH. Never mind.... [Gets up] I’m not handsome; what use am I as a + soldier? Well, it makes no difference... I shall work. If only just once + in my life I could work so that I could come home in the evening, fall + exhausted on my bed, and go to sleep at once. [Going into the + dining-room] Workmen, I suppose, do sleep soundly! + </p> + <p> + FEDOTIK. [To IRINA] I bought some coloured pencils for you at Pizhikov’s + in the Moscow Road, just now. And here is a little knife. + </p> + <p> + IRINA. You have got into the habit of behaving to me as if I am a little + girl, but I am grown up. [Takes the pencils and the knife, then, with + joy] How lovely! + </p> + <p> + FEDOTIK. And I bought myself a knife... look at it... one blade, + another, a third, an ear-scoop, scissors, nail-cleaners. + </p> + <p> + RODE. [Loudly] Doctor, how old are you? + </p> + <p> + CHEBUTIKIN. I? Thirty-two. [Laughter] + </p> + <p> + FEDOTIK. I’ll show you another kind of patience.... [Lays out cards.] + </p> + <p> + [A samovar is brought in; ANFISA attends to it; a little later NATASHA + enters and helps by the table; SOLENI arrives and, after greetings, sits + by the table.] + </p> + <p> + VERSHININ. What a wind! + </p> + <p> + MASHA. Yes. I’m tired of winter. I’ve already forgotten what summer’s + like. + </p> + <p> + IRINA. It’s coming out, I see. We’re going to Moscow. + </p> + <p> + FEDOTIK. No, it won’t come out. Look, the eight was on the two of + spades. [Laughs] That means you won’t go to Moscow. + </p> + <p> + CHEBUTIKIN. [Reading paper] Tsitsigar. Smallpox is raging here. + </p> + <p> + ANFISA. [Coming up to MASHA] Masha, have some tea, little mother. [To + VERSHININ] Please have some, sir... excuse me, but I’ve forgotten your + name.... + </p> + <p> + MASHA. Bring some here, nurse. I shan’t go over there. + </p> + <p> + IRINA. Nurse! + </p> + <p> + ANFISA. Coming, coming! + </p> + <p> + NATASHA. [To SOLENI] Children at the breast understand perfectly. I said + “Good morning, Bobby; good morning, dear!” And he looked at me in quite + an unusual way. You think it’s only the mother in me that is speaking; I + assure you that isn’t so! He’s a wonderful child. + </p> + <p> + SOLENI. If he was my child I’d roast him on a frying-pan and eat him. + [Takes his tumbler into the drawing-room and sits in a corner.] + </p> + <p> + NATASHA. [Covers her face in her hands] Vulgar, ill-bred man! + </p> + <p> + MASHA. He’s lucky who doesn’t notice whether it’s winter now, or summer. + I think that if I were in Moscow, I shouldn’t mind about the weather. + </p> + <p> + VERSHININ. A few days ago I was reading the prison diary of a French + minister. He had been sentenced on account of the Panama scandal. With + what joy, what delight, he speaks of the birds he saw through the prison + windows, which he had never noticed while he was a minister. Now, of + course, that he is at liberty, he notices birds no more than he did + before. When you go to live in Moscow you’ll not notice it, in just the + same way. There can be no happiness for us, it only exists in our + wishes. + </p> + <p> + TUZENBACH. [Takes cardboard box from the table] Where are the pastries? + </p> + <p> + IRINA. Soleni has eaten them. + </p> + <p> + TUZENBACH. All of them? + </p> + <p> + ANFISA. [Serving tea] There’s a letter for you. + </p> + <p> + VERSHININ. For me? [Takes the letter] From my daughter. [Reads] Yes, of + course... I will go quietly. Excuse me, Maria Sergeyevna. I shan’t have + any tea. [Stands up, excited] That eternal story.... + </p> + <p> + MASHA. What is it? Is it a secret? + </p> + <p> + VERSHININ. [Quietly] My wife has poisoned herself again. I must go. I’ll + go out quietly. It’s all awfully unpleasant. [Kisses MASHA’S hand] My + dear, my splendid, good woman... I’ll go this way, quietly. [Exit.] + </p> + <p> + ANFISA. Where has he gone? And I’d served tea.... What a man. + </p> + <p> + MASHA. [Angrily] Be quiet! You bother so one can’t have a moment’s + peace.... [Goes to the table with her cup] I’m tired of you, old woman! + </p> + <p> + ANFISA. My dear! Why are you offended! + </p> + <p> + ANDREY’S VOICE. Anfisa! + </p> + <p> + ANFISA. [Mocking] Anfisa! He sits there and... [Exit.] + </p> + <p> + MASHA. [In the dining-room, by the table angrily] Let me sit down! + [Disturbs the cards on the table] Here you are, spreading your cards + out. Have some tea! + </p> + <p> + IRINA. You are cross, Masha. + </p> + <p> + MASHA. If I am cross, then don’t talk to me. Don’t touch me! + </p> + <p> + CHEBUTIKIN. Don’t touch her, don’t touch her.... + </p> + <p> + MASHA. You’re sixty, but you’re like a boy, always up to some beastly + nonsense. + </p> + <p> + NATASHA. [Sighs] Dear Masha, why use such expressions? With your + beautiful exterior you would be simply fascinating in good society, I + tell you so directly, if it wasn’t for your words. <i>Je vous prie, + pardonnez moi, Marie, mais vous avez des manières un peu grossières</i>. + </p> + <p> + TUZENBACH. [Restraining his laughter] Give me... give me... there’s some + cognac, I think. + </p> + <p> + NATASHA. <i>Il parait, que mon Bobick déjà ne dort pas</i>, he has + awakened. He isn’t well to-day. I’ll go to him, excuse me... [Exit.] + </p> + <p> + IRINA. Where has Alexander Ignateyevitch gone? + </p> + <p> + MASHA. Home. Something extraordinary has happened to his wife again. + </p> + <p> + TUZENBACH. [Goes to SOLENI with a cognac-flask in his hands] You go on + sitting by yourself, thinking of something—goodness knows what. + Come and let’s make peace. Let’s have some cognac. [They drink] I expect + I’ll have to play the piano all night, some rubbish most likely... well, + so be it! + </p> + <p> + SOLENI. Why make peace? I haven’t quarrelled with you. + </p> + <p> + TUZENBACH. You always make me feel as if something has taken place + between us. You’ve a strange character, you must admit. + </p> + <p> + SOLENI. [Declaims] “I am strange, but who is not? Don’t be angry, + Aleko!” + </p> + <p> + TUZENBACH. And what has Aleko to do with it? [Pause.] + </p> + <p> + SOLENI. When I’m with one other man I behave just like everybody else, + but in company I’m dull and shy and... talk all manner of rubbish. But + I’m more honest and more honourable than very, very many people. And I + can prove it. + </p> + <p> + TUZENBACH. I often get angry with you, you always fasten on to me in + company, but I like you all the same. I’m going to drink my fill + to-night, whatever happens. Drink, now! + </p> + <p> + SOLENI. Let’s drink. [They drink] I never had anything against you, + Baron. But my character is like Lermontov’s [In a low voice] I even + rather resemble Lermontov, they say.... [Takes a scent-bottle from his + pocket, and scents his hands.] + </p> + <p> + TUZENBACH. I’ve sent in my resignation. Basta! I’ve been thinking about + it for five years, and at last made up my mind. I shall work. + </p> + <p> + SOLENI. [Declaims] “Do not be angry, Aleko... forget, forget, thy dreams + of yore....” + </p> + <p> + [While he is speaking ANDREY enters quietly with a book, and sits by the + table.] + </p> + <p> + TUZENBACH. I shall work. + </p> + <p> + CHEBUTIKIN. [Going with IRINA into the dining-room] And the food was + also real Caucasian onion soup, and, for a roast, some chehartma. + </p> + <p> + SOLENI. Cheremsha [Note: A variety of garlic.] isn’t meat at all, but a + plant something like an onion. + </p> + <p> + CHEBUTIKIN. No, my angel. Chehartma isn’t onion, but roast mutton. + </p> + <p> + SOLENI. And I tell you, chehartma—is a sort of onion. + </p> + <p> + CHEBUTIKIN. And I tell you, chehartma—is mutton. + </p> + <p> + SOLENI. And I tell you, cheremsha—is a sort of onion. + </p> + <p> + CHEBUTIKIN. What’s the use of arguing! You’ve never been in the + Caucasus, and never ate any chehartma. + </p> + <p> + SOLENI. I never ate it, because I hate it. It smells like garlic. + </p> + <p> + ANDREY. [Imploring] Please, please! I ask you! + </p> + <p> + TUZENBACH. When are the entertainers coming? + </p> + <p> + IRINA. They promised for about nine; that is, quite soon. + </p> + <p> + TUZENBACH. [Embraces ANDREY] + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + “Oh my house, my house, my new-built house.” + </pre> + <p> + ANDREY. [Dances and sings] “Newly-built of maple-wood.” + </p> + <p> + CHEBUTIKIN. [Dances] + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + “Its walls are like a sieve!” [Laughter.] +</pre> + <p> + TUZENBACH. [Kisses ANDREY] Hang it all, let’s drink. Andrey, old boy, + let’s drink with you. And I’ll go with you, Andrey, to the University of + Moscow. + </p> + <p> + SOLENI. Which one? There are two universities in Moscow. + </p> + <p> + ANDREY. There’s one university in Moscow. + </p> + <p> + SOLENI. Two, I tell you. + </p> + <p> + ANDREY. Don’t care if there are three. So much the better. + </p> + <p> + SOLENI. There are two universities in Moscow! [There are murmurs and + “hushes”] There are two universities in Moscow, the old one and the new + one. And if you don’t like to listen, if my words annoy you, then I need + not speak. I can even go into another room.... [Exit.] + </p> + <p> + TUZENBACH. Bravo, bravo! [Laughs] Come on, now. I’m going to play. Funny + man, Soleni.... [Goes to the piano and plays a waltz.] + </p> + <p> + MASHA. [Dancing solo] The Baron’s drunk, the Baron’s drunk, the Baron’s + drunk! + </p> + <p> + [NATASHA comes in.] + </p> + <p> + NATASHA. [To CHEBUTIKIN] Ivan Romanovitch! + </p> + <p> + [Says something to CHEBUTIKIN, then goes out quietly; CHEBUTIKIN touches + TUZENBACH on the shoulder and whispers something to him.] + </p> + <p> + IRINA. What is it? + </p> + <p> + CHEBUTIKIN. Time for us to go. Good-bye. + </p> + <p> + TUZENBACH. Good-night. It’s time we went. + </p> + <p> + IRINA. But, really, the entertainers? + </p> + <p> + ANDREY. [In confusion] There won’t be any entertainers. You see, dear, + Natasha says that Bobby isn’t quite well, and so.... In a word, I don’t + care, and it’s absolutely all one to me. + </p> + <p> + IRINA. [Shrugging her shoulders] Bobby ill! + </p> + <p> + MASHA. What is she thinking of! Well, if they are sent home, I suppose + they must go. [To IRINA] Bobby’s all right, it’s she herself.... Here! + [Taps her forehead] Little bourgeoise! + </p> + <p> + [ANDREY goes to his room through the right-hand door, CHEBUTIKIN follows + him. In the dining-room they are saying good-bye.] + </p> + <p> + FEDOTIK. What a shame! I was expecting to spend the evening here, but of + course, if the little baby is ill... I’ll bring him some toys to-morrow. + </p> + <p> + RODE. [Loudly] I slept late after dinner to-day because I thought I was + going to dance all night. It’s only nine o’clock now! + </p> + <p> + MASHA. Let’s go into the street, we can talk there. Then we can settle + things. + </p> + <p> + (Good-byes and good nights are heard. TUZENBACH’S merry laughter is + heard. [All go out] ANFISA and the maid clear the table, and put out the + lights. [The nurse sings] ANDREY, wearing an overcoat and a hat, and + CHEBUTIKIN enter silently.) + </p> + <p> + CHEBUTIKIN. I never managed to get married because my life flashed by + like lightning, and because I was madly in love with your mother, who + was married. + </p> + <p> + ANDREY. One shouldn’t marry. One shouldn’t, because it’s dull. + </p> + <p> + CHEBUTIKIN. So there I am, in my loneliness. Say what you will, + loneliness is a terrible thing, old fellow.... Though really... of + course, it absolutely doesn’t matter! + </p> + <p> + ANDREY. Let’s be quicker. + </p> + <p> + CHEBUTIKIN. What are you in such a hurry for? We shall be in time. + </p> + <p> + ANDREY. I’m afraid my wife may stop me. + </p> + <p> + CHEBUTIKIN. Ah! + </p> + <p> + ANDREY. I shan’t play to-night, I shall only sit and look on. I don’t + feel very well.... What am I to do for my asthma, Ivan Romanovitch? + </p> + <p> + CHEBUTIKIN. Don’t ask me! I don’t remember, old fellow, I don’t know. + </p> + <p> + ANDREY. Let’s go through the kitchen. [They go out.] + </p> + <p> + [A bell rings, then a second time; voices and laughter are heard.] + </p> + <p> + IRINA. [Enters] What’s that? + </p> + <p> + ANFISA. [Whispers] The entertainers! [Bell.] + </p> + <p> + IRINA. Tell them there’s nobody at home, nurse. They must excuse us. + </p> + <p> + [ANFISA goes out. IRINA walks about the room deep in thought; she is + excited. SOLENI enters.] + </p> + <p> + SOLENI. [In surprise] There’s nobody here.... Where are they all? + </p> + <p> + IRINA. They’ve gone home. + </p> + <p> + SOLENI. How strange. Are you here alone? + </p> + <p> + IRINA. Yes, alone. [A pause] Good-bye. + </p> + <p> + SOLENI. Just now I behaved tactlessly, with insufficient reserve. But + you are not like all the others, you are noble and pure, you can see the + truth.... You alone can understand me. I love you, deeply, beyond + measure, I love you. + </p> + <p> + IRINA. Good-bye! Go away. + </p> + <p> + SOLENI. I cannot live without you. [Follows her] Oh, my happiness! + [Through his tears] Oh, joy! Wonderful, marvellous, glorious eyes, such + as I have never seen before.... + </p> + <p> + IRINA. [Coldly] Stop it, Vassili Vassilevitch! + </p> + <p> + SOLENI. This is the first time I speak to you of love, and it is as if I + am no longer on the earth, but on another planet. [Wipes his forehead] + Well, never mind. I can’t make you love me by force, of course... but I + don’t intend to have any more-favoured rivals.... No... I swear to you + by all the saints, I shall kill my rival.... Oh, beautiful one! + </p> + <p> + [NATASHA enters with a candle; she looks in through one door, then + through another, and goes past the door leading to her husband’s room.] + </p> + <p> + NATASHA. Here’s Andrey. Let him go on reading. Excuse me, Vassili + Vassilevitch, I did not know you were here; I am engaged in + domesticities. + </p> + <p> + SOLENI. It’s all the same to me. Good-bye! [Exit.] + </p> + <p> + NATASHA. You’re so tired, my poor dear girl! [Kisses IRINA] If you only + went to bed earlier. + </p> + <p> + IRINA. Is Bobby asleep? + </p> + <p> + NATASHA. Yes, but restlessly. By the way, dear, I wanted to tell you, + but either you weren’t at home, or I was busy... I think Bobby’s present + nursery is cold and damp. And your room would be so nice for the child. + My dear, darling girl, do change over to Olga’s for a bit! + </p> + <p> + IRINA. [Not understanding] Where? + </p> + <p> + [The bells of a troika are heard as it drives up to the house.] + </p> + <p> + NATASHA. You and Olga can share a room, for the time being, and Bobby + can have yours. He’s such a darling; to-day I said to him, “Bobby, + you’re mine! Mine!” And he looked at me with his dear little eyes. [A + bell rings] It must be Olga. How late she is! [The maid enters and + whispers to NATASHA] Protopopov? What a queer man to do such a thing. + Protopopov’s come and wants me to go for a drive with him in his troika. + [Laughs] How funny these men are.... [A bell rings] Somebody has come. + Suppose I did go and have half an hour’s drive.... [To the maid] Say I + shan’t be long. [Bell rings] Somebody’s ringing, it must be Olga. + [Exit.] + </p> + <p> + [The maid runs out; IRINA sits deep in thought; KULIGIN and OLGA enter, + followed by VERSHININ.] + </p> + <p> + KULIGIN. Well, there you are. And you said there was going to be a + party. + </p> + <p> + VERSHININ. It’s queer; I went away not long ago, half an hour ago, and + they were expecting entertainers. + </p> + <p> + IRINA. They’ve all gone. + </p> + <p> + KULIGIN. Has Masha gone too? Where has she gone? And what’s Protopopov + waiting for downstairs in his troika? Whom is he expecting? + </p> + <p> + IRINA. Don’t ask questions... I’m tired. + </p> + <p> + KULIGIN. Oh, you’re all whimsies.... + </p> + <p> + OLGA. My committee meeting is only just over. I’m tired out. Our + chairwoman is ill, so I had to take her place. My head, my head is + aching.... [Sits] Andrey lost 200 roubles at cards yesterday... the + whole town is talking about it.... + </p> + <p> + KULIGIN. Yes, my meeting tired me too. [Sits.] + </p> + <p> + VERSHININ. My wife took it into her head to frighten me just now by + nearly poisoning herself. It’s all right now, and I’m glad; I can rest + now.... But perhaps we ought to go away? Well, my best wishes, Feodor + Ilitch, let’s go somewhere together! I can’t, I absolutely can’t stop at + home.... Come on! + </p> + <p> + KULIGIN. I’m tired. I won’t go. [Gets up] I’m tired. Has my wife gone + home? + </p> + <p> + IRINA. I suppose so. + </p> + <p> + KULIGIN. [Kisses IRINA’S hand] Good-bye, I’m going to rest all day + to-morrow and the day after. Best wishes! [Going] I should like some + tea. I was looking forward to spending the whole evening in pleasant + company and—o, fallacem hominum spem!... Accusative case after an + interjection.... + </p> + <p> + VERSHININ. Then I’ll go somewhere by myself. [Exit with KULIGIN, + whistling.] + </p> + <p> + OLGA. I’ve such a headache... Andrey has been losing money.... The whole + town is talking.... I’ll go and lie down. [Going] I’m free to-morrow.... + Oh, my God, what a mercy! I’m free to-morrow, I’m free the day after.... + Oh my head, my head.... [Exit.] + </p> + <p> + IRINA. [alone] They’ve all gone. Nobody’s left. + </p> + <p> + [A concertina is being played in the street. The nurse sings.] + </p> + <p> + NATASHA. [in fur coat and cap, steps across the dining-room, followed by + the maid] I’ll be back in half an hour. I’m only going for a little + drive. [Exit.] + </p> + <p> + IRINA. [Alone in her misery] To Moscow! Moscow! Moscow! + </p> + <p> + Curtain. + </p> + <a name="link2H_4_0011" id="link2H_4_0011"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + ACT III + </h2> + <p> + [The room shared by OLGA and IRINA. Beds, screened off, on the right and + left. It is past 2 a.m. Behind the stage a fire-alarm is ringing; it has + apparently been going for some time. Nobody in the house has gone to bed + yet. MASHA is lying on a sofa dressed, as usual, in black. Enter OLGA + and ANFISA.] + </p> + <p> + ANFISA. Now they are downstairs, sitting under the stairs. I said to + them, “Won’t you come up,” I said, “You can’t go on like this,” and they + simply cried, “We don’t know where father is.” They said, “He may be + burnt up by now.” What an idea! And in the yard there are some people... + also undressed. + </p> + <p> + OLGA. [Takes a dress out of the cupboard] Take this grey dress.... And + this... and the blouse as well.... Take the skirt, too, nurse.... My + God! How awful it is! The whole of the Kirsanovsky Road seems to have + burned down. Take this... and this.... [Throws clothes into her hands] + The poor Vershinins are so frightened.... Their house was nearly burnt. + They ought to come here for the night.... They shouldn’t be allowed to + go home.... Poor Fedotik is completely burnt out, there’s nothing + left.... + </p> + <p> + ANFISA. Couldn’t you call Ferapont, Olga dear. I can hardly manage.... + </p> + <p> + OLGA. [Rings] They’ll never answer.... [At the door] Come here, whoever + there is! [Through the open door can be seen a window, red with flame: + afire-engine is heard passing the house] How awful this is. And how I’m + sick of it! [FERAPONT enters] Take these things down.... The Kolotilin + girls are down below... and let them have them. This, too. + </p> + <p> + FERAPONT. Yes’m. In the year twelve Moscow was burning too. Oh, my God! + The Frenchmen were surprised. + </p> + <p> + OLGA. Go on, go on.... + </p> + <p> + FERAPONT. Yes’m. [Exit.] + </p> + <p> + OLGA. Nurse, dear, let them have everything. We don’t want anything. + Give it all to them, nurse.... I’m tired, I can hardly keep on my + legs.... The Vershinins mustn’t be allowed to go home.... The girls can + sleep in the drawing-room, and Alexander Ignateyevitch can go downstairs + to the Baron’s flat... Fedotik can go there, too, or else into our + dining-room.... The doctor is drunk, beastly drunk, as if on purpose, so + nobody can go to him. Vershinin’s wife, too, may go into the + drawing-room. + </p> + <p> + ANFISA. [Tired] Olga, dear girl, don’t dismiss me! Don’t dismiss me! + </p> + <p> + OLGA. You’re talking nonsense, nurse. Nobody is dismissing you. + </p> + <p> + ANFISA. [Puts OLGA’S head against her bosom] My dear, precious girl, I’m + working, I’m toiling away... I’m growing weak, and they’ll all say go + away! And where shall I go? Where? I’m eighty. Eighty-one years old.... + </p> + <p> + OLGA. You sit down, nurse dear.... You’re tired, poor dear.... [Makes + her sit down] Rest, dear. You’re so pale! + </p> + <p> + [NATASHA comes in.] + </p> + <p> + NATASHA. They are saying that a committee to assist the sufferers from + the fire must be formed at once. What do you think of that? It’s a + beautiful idea. Of course the poor ought to be helped, it’s the duty of + the rich. Bobby and little Sophy are sleeping, sleeping as if nothing at + all was the matter. There’s such a lot of people here, the place is full + of them, wherever you go. There’s influenza in the town now. I’m afraid + the children may catch it. + </p> + <p> + OLGA. [Not attending] In this room we can’t see the fire, it’s quiet + here. + </p> + <p> + NATASHA. Yes... I suppose I’m all untidy. [Before the looking-glass] + They say I’m growing stout... it isn’t true! Certainly it isn’t! Masha’s + asleep; the poor thing is tired out.... [Coldly, to ANFISA] Don’t dare + to be seated in my presence! Get up! Out of this! [Exit ANFISA; a pause] + I don’t understand what makes you keep on that old woman! + </p> + <p> + OLGA. [Confusedly] Excuse me, I don’t understand either... + </p> + <p> + NATASHA. She’s no good here. She comes from the country, she ought to + live there.... Spoiling her, I call it! I like order in the house! We + don’t want any unnecessary people here. [Strokes her cheek] You’re + tired, poor thing! Our head mistress is tired! And when my little Sophie + grows up and goes to school I shall be so afraid of you. + </p> + <p> + OLGA. I shan’t be head mistress. + </p> + <p> + NATASHA. They’ll appoint you, Olga. It’s settled. + </p> + <p> + OLGA. I’ll refuse the post. I can’t... I’m not strong enough.... [Drinks + water] You were so rude to nurse just now... I’m sorry. I can’t stand + it... everything seems dark in front of me.... + </p> + <p> + NATASHA. [Excited] Forgive me, Olga, forgive me... I didn’t want to + annoy you. + </p> + <p> + [MASHA gets up, takes a pillow and goes out angrily.] + </p> + <p> + OLGA. Remember, dear... we have been brought up, in an unusual way, + perhaps, but I can’t bear this. Such behaviour has a bad effect on me, I + get ill... I simply lose heart! + </p> + <p> + NATASHA. Forgive me, forgive me.... [Kisses her.] + </p> + <p> + OLGA. Even the least bit of rudeness, the slightest impoliteness, upsets + me. + </p> + <p> + NATASHA. I often say too much, it’s true, but you must agree, dear, that + she could just as well live in the country. + </p> + <p> + OLGA. She has been with us for thirty years. + </p> + <p> + NATASHA. But she can’t do any work now. Either I don’t understand, or + you don’t want to understand me. She’s no good for work, she can only + sleep or sit about. + </p> + <p> + OLGA. And let her sit about. + </p> + <p> + NATASHA. [Surprised] What do you mean? She’s only a servant. [Crying] I + don’t understand you, Olga. I’ve got a nurse, a wet-nurse, we’ve a cook, + a housemaid... what do we want that old woman for as well? What good is + she? [Fire-alarm behind the stage.] + </p> + <p> + OLGA. I’ve grown ten years older to-night. + </p> + <p> + NATASHA. We must come to an agreement, Olga. Your place is the school, + mine—the home. You devote yourself to teaching, I, to the + household. And if I talk about servants, then I do know what I am + talking about; I do know what I am talking about... And to-morrow + there’s to be no more of that old thief, that old hag... [Stamping] that + witch! And don’t you dare to annoy me! Don’t you dare! [Stopping short] + Really, if you don’t move downstairs, we shall always be quarrelling. + This is awful. + </p> + <p> + [Enter KULIGIN.] + </p> + <p> + KULIGIN. Where’s Masha? It’s time we went home. The fire seems to be + going down. [Stretches himself] Only one block has burnt down, but there + was such a wind that it seemed at first the whole town was going to + burn. [Sits] I’m tired out. My dear Olga... I often think that if it + hadn’t been for Masha, I should have married you. You are awfully + nice.... I am absolutely tired out. [Listens.] + </p> + <p> + OLGA. What is it? + </p> + <p> + KULIGIN. The doctor, of course, has been drinking hard; he’s terribly + drunk. He might have done it on purpose! [Gets up] He seems to be coming + here.... Do you hear him? Yes, here.... [Laughs] What a man... really... + I’ll hide myself. [Goes to the cupboard and stands in the corner] What a + rogue. + </p> + <p> + OLGA. He hadn’t touched a drop for two years, and now he suddenly goes + and gets drunk.... + </p> + <p> + [Retires with NATASHA to the back of the room. CHEBUTIKIN enters; + apparently sober, he stops, looks round, then goes to the wash-stand and + begins to wash his hands.] + </p> + <p> + CHEBUTIKIN. [Angrily] Devil take them all... take them all.... They + think I’m a doctor and can cure everything, and I know absolutely + nothing, I’ve forgotten all I ever knew, I remember nothing, absolutely + nothing. [OLGA and NATASHA go out, unnoticed by him] Devil take it. Last + Wednesday I attended a woman in Zasip—and she died, and it’s my + fault that she died. Yes... I used to know a certain amount + five-and-twenty years ago, but I don’t remember anything now. Nothing. + Perhaps I’m not really a man, and am only pretending that I’ve got arms + and legs and a head; perhaps I don’t exist at all, and only imagine that + I walk, and eat, and sleep. [Cries] Oh, if only I didn’t exist! [Stops + crying; angrily] The devil only knows.... Day before yesterday they were + talking in the club; they said, Shakespeare, Voltaire... I’d never read, + never read at all, and I put on an expression as if I had read. And so + did the others. Oh, how beastly! How petty! And then I remembered the + woman I killed on Wednesday... and I couldn’t get her out of my mind, + and everything in my mind became crooked, nasty, wretched.... So I went + and drank.... + </p> + <p> + [IRINA, VERSHININ and TUZENBACH enter; TUZENBACH is wearing new and + fashionable civilian clothes.] + </p> + <p> + IRINA. Let’s sit down here. Nobody will come in here. + </p> + <p> + VERSHININ. The whole town would have been destroyed if it hadn’t been + for the soldiers. Good men! [Rubs his hands appreciatively] Splendid + people! Oh, what a fine lot! + </p> + <p> + KULIGIN. [Coming up to him] What’s the time? + </p> + <p> + TUZENBACH. It’s past three now. It’s dawning. + </p> + <p> + IRINA. They are all sitting in the dining-room, nobody is going. And + that Soleni of yours is sitting there. [To CHEBUTIKIN] Hadn’t you better + be going to sleep, doctor? + </p> + <p> + CHEBUTIKIN. It’s all right... thank you.... [Combs his beard.] + </p> + <p> + KULIGIN. [Laughs] Speaking’s a bit difficult, eh, Ivan Romanovitch! + [Pats him on the shoulder] Good man! <i>In vino veritas</i>, the + ancients used to say. + </p> + <p> + TUZENBACH. They keep on asking me to get up a concert in aid of the + sufferers. + </p> + <p> + IRINA. As if one could do anything.... + </p> + <p> + TUZENBACH. It might be arranged, if necessary. In my opinion Maria + Sergeyevna is an excellent pianist. + </p> + <p> + KULIGIN. Yes, excellent! + </p> + <p> + IRINA. She’s forgotten everything. She hasn’t played for three years... + or four. + </p> + <p> + TUZENBACH. In this town absolutely nobody understands music, not a soul + except myself, but I do understand it, and assure you on my word of + honour that Maria Sergeyevna plays excellently, almost with genius. + </p> + <p> + KULIGIN. You are right, Baron, I’m awfully fond of Masha. She’s very + fine. + </p> + <p> + TUZENBACH. To be able to play so admirably and to realize at the same + time that nobody, nobody can understand you! + </p> + <p> + KULIGIN. [Sighs] Yes.... But will it be quite all right for her to take + part in a concert? [Pause] You see, I don’t know anything about it. + Perhaps it will even be all to the good. Although I must admit that our + Director is a good man, a very good man even, a very clever man, still + he has such views.... Of course it isn’t his business but still, if you + wish it, perhaps I’d better talk to him. + </p> + <p> + [CHEBUTIKIN takes a porcelain clock into his hands and examines it.] + </p> + <p> + VERSHININ. I got so dirty while the fire was on, I don’t look like + anybody on earth. [Pause] Yesterday I happened to hear, casually, that + they want to transfer our brigade to some distant place. Some said to + Poland, others, to Chita. + </p> + <p> + TUZENBACH. I heard so, too. Well, if it is so, the town will be quite + empty. + </p> + <p> + IRINA. And we’ll go away, too! + </p> + <p> + CHEBUTIKIN. [Drops the clock which breaks to pieces] To smithereens! + </p> + <p> + [A pause; everybody is pained and confused.] + </p> + <p> + KULIGIN. [Gathering up the pieces] To smash such a valuable object—oh, + Ivan Romanovitch, Ivan Romanovitch! A very bad mark for your + misbehaviour! + </p> + <p> + IRINA. That clock used to belong to our mother. + </p> + <p> + CHEBUTIKIN. Perhaps.... To your mother, your mother. Perhaps I didn’t + break it; it only looks as if I broke it. Perhaps we only think that we + exist, when really we don’t. I don’t know anything, nobody knows + anything. [At the door] What are you looking at? Natasha has a little + romance with Protopopov, and you don’t see it.... There you sit and see + nothing, and Natasha has a little romance with Protopovov.... [Sings] + Won’t you please accept this date.... [Exit.] + </p> + <p> + VERSHININ. Yes. [Laughs] How strange everything really is! [Pause] When + the fire broke out, I hurried off home; when I get there I see the house + is whole, uninjured, and in no danger, but my two girls are standing by + the door in just their underclothes, their mother isn’t there, the crowd + is excited, horses and dogs are running about, and the girls’ faces are + so agitated, terrified, beseeching, and I don’t know what else. My heart + was pained when I saw those faces. My God, I thought, what these girls + will have to put up with if they live long! I caught them up and ran, + and still kept on thinking the one thing: what they will have to live + through in this world! [Fire-alarm; a pause] I come here and find their + mother shouting and angry. [MASHA enters with a pillow and sits on the + sofa] And when my girls were standing by the door in just their + underclothes, and the street was red from the fire, there was a dreadful + noise, and I thought that something of the sort used to happen many + years ago when an enemy made a sudden attack, and looted, and burned.... + And at the same time what a difference there really is between the + present and the past! And when a little more time has gone by, in two or + three hundred years perhaps, people will look at our present life with + just the same fear, and the same contempt, and the whole past will seem + clumsy and dull, and very uncomfortable, and strange. Oh, indeed, what a + life there will be, what a life! [Laughs] Forgive me, I’ve dropped into + philosophy again. Please let me continue. I do awfully want to + philosophize, it’s just how I feel at present. [Pause] As if they are + all asleep. As I was saying: what a life there will be! Only just + imagine.... There are only three persons like yourselves in the town + just now, but in future generations there will be more and more, and + still more, and the time will come when everything will change and + become as you would have it, people will live as you do, and then you + too will go out of date; people will be born who are better than you.... + [Laughs] Yes, to-day I am quite exceptionally in the vein. I am + devilishly keen on living.... [Sings.] + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + “The power of love all ages know, + From its assaults great good does grow.” [Laughs.] +</pre> + <p> + MASHA. Trum-tum-tum... + </p> + <p> + VERSHININ. Tum-tum... + </p> + <p> + MASHA. Tra-ra-ra? + </p> + <p> + VERSHININ. Tra-ta-ta. [Laughs.] + </p> + <p> + [Enter FEDOTIK.] + </p> + <p> + FEDOTIK. [Dancing] I’m burnt out, I’m burnt out! Down to the ground! + [Laughter.] + </p> + <p> + IRINA. I don’t see anything funny about it. Is everything burnt? + </p> + <p> + FEDOTIK. [Laughs] Absolutely. Nothing left at all. The guitar’s burnt, + and the photographs are burnt, and all my correspondence.... And I was + going to make you a present of a note-book, and that’s burnt too. + </p> + <p> + [SOLENI comes in.] + </p> + <p> + IRINA. No, you can’t come here, Vassili Vassilevitch. Please go away. + </p> + <p> + SOLENI. Why can the Baron come here and I can’t? + </p> + <p> + VERSHININ. We really must go. How’s the fire? + </p> + <p> + SOLENI. They say it’s going down. No, I absolutely don’t see why the + Baron can, and I can’t? [Scents his hands.] + </p> + <p> + VERSHININ. Trum-tum-tum. + </p> + <p> + MASHA. Trum-tum. + </p> + <p> + VERSHININ. [Laughs to SOLENI] Let’s go into the dining-room. + </p> + <p> + SOLENI. Very well, we’ll make a note of it. “If I should try to make + this clear, the geese would be annoyed, I fear.” [Looks at TUZENBACH] + There, there, there.... [Goes out with VERSHININ and FEDOTIK.] + </p> + <p> + IRINA. How Soleni smelt of tobacco.... [In surprise] The Baron’s asleep! + Baron! Baron! + </p> + <p> + TUZENBACH. [Waking] I am tired, I must say.... The brickworks.... No, + I’m not wandering, I mean it; I’m going to start work soon at the + brickworks... I’ve already talked it over. [Tenderly, to IRINA] You’re + so pale, and beautiful, and charming.... Your paleness seems to shine + through the dark air as if it was a light.... You are sad, displeased + with life.... Oh, come with me, let’s go and work together! + </p> + <p> + MASHA. Nicolai Lvovitch, go away from here. + </p> + <p> + TUZENBACH. [Laughs] Are you here? I didn’t see you. [Kisses IRINA’S + hand] good-bye, I’ll go... I look at you now and I remember, as if it + was long ago, your name-day, when you, cheerfully and merrily, were + talking about the joys of labour.... And how happy life seemed to me, + then! What has happened to it now? [Kisses her hand] There are tears in + your eyes. Go to bed now; it is already day... the morning begins.... If + only I was allowed to give my life for you! + </p> + <p> + MASHA. Nicolai Lvovitch, go away! What business... + </p> + <p> + TUZENBACH. I’m off. [Exit.] + </p> + <p> + MASHA. [Lies down] Are you asleep, Feodor? + </p> + <p> + KULIGIN. Eh? + </p> + <p> + MASHA. Shouldn’t you go home. + </p> + <p> + KULIGIN. My dear Masha, my darling Masha.... + </p> + <p> + IRINA. She’s tired out. You might let her rest, Fedia. + </p> + <p> + KULIGIN. I’ll go at once. My wife’s a good, splendid... I love you, my + only one.... + </p> + <p> + MASHA. [Angrily] Amo, amas, amat, amamus, amatis, amant. + </p> + <p> + KULIGIN. [Laughs] No, she really is wonderful. I’ve been your husband + seven years, and it seems as if I was only married yesterday. On my + word. No, you really are a wonderful woman. I’m satisfied, I’m + satisfied, I’m satisfied! + </p> + <p> + MASHA. I’m bored, I’m bored, I’m bored.... [Sits up] But I can’t get it + out of my head.... It’s simply disgraceful. It has been gnawing away at + me... I can’t keep silent. I mean about Andrey.... He has mortgaged this + house with the bank, and his wife has got all the money; but the house + doesn’t belong to him alone, but to the four of us! He ought to know + that, if he’s an honourable man. + </p> + <p> + KULIGIN. What’s the use, Masha? Andrey is in debt all round; well, let + him do as he pleases. + </p> + <p> + MASHA. It’s disgraceful, anyway. [Lies down] + </p> + <p> + KULIGIN. You and I are not poor. I work, take my classes, give private + lessons... I am a plain, honest man... <i>Omnia mea mecum porto</i>, as + they say. + </p> + <p> + MASHA. I don’t want anything, but the unfairness of it disgusts me. + [Pause] You go, Feodor. + </p> + <p> + KULIGIN. [Kisses her] You’re tired, just rest for half an hour, and I’ll + sit and wait for you. Sleep.... [Going] I’m satisfied, I’m satisfied, + I’m satisfied. [Exit.] + </p> + <p> + IRINA. Yes, really, our Andrey has grown smaller; how he’s snuffed out + and aged with that woman! He used to want to be a professor, and + yesterday he was boasting that at last he had been made a member of the + district council. He is a member, and Protopopov is chairman.... The + whole town talks and laughs about it, and he alone knows and sees + nothing.... And now everybody’s gone to look at the fire, but he sits + alone in his room and pays no attention, only just plays on his fiddle. + [Nervily] Oh, it’s awful, awful, awful. [Weeps] I can’t, I can’t bear it + any longer!... I can’t, I can’t!... [OLGA comes in and clears up at her + little table. IRINA is sobbing loudly] Throw me out, throw me out, I + can’t bear any more! + </p> + <p> + OLGA. [Alarmed] What is it, what is it? Dear! + </p> + <p> + IRINA. [Sobbing] Where? Where has everything gone? Where is it all? Oh + my God, my God! I’ve forgotten everything, everything... I don’t + remember what is the Italian for window or, well, for ceiling... I + forget everything, every day I forget it, and life passes and will never + return, and we’ll never go away to Moscow... I see that we’ll never + go.... + </p> + <p> + OLGA. Dear, dear.... + </p> + <p> + IRINA. [Controlling herself] Oh, I am unhappy... I can’t work, I shan’t + work. Enough, enough! I used to be a telegraphist, now I work at the + town council offices, and I have nothing but hate and contempt for all + they give me to do... I am already twenty-three, I have already been at + work for a long while, and my brain has dried up, and I’ve grown + thinner, plainer, older, and there is no relief of any sort, and time + goes and it seems all the while as if I am going away from the real, the + beautiful life, farther and farther away, down some precipice. I’m in + despair and I can’t understand how it is that I am still alive, that I + haven’t killed myself. + </p> + <p> + OLGA. Don’t cry, dear girl, don’t cry... I suffer, too. + </p> + <p> + IRINA. I’m not crying, not crying.... Enough.... Look, I’m not crying + any more. Enough... enough! + </p> + <p> + OLGA. Dear, I tell you as a sister and a friend if you want my advice, + marry the Baron. [IRINA cries softly] You respect him, you think highly + of him.... It is true that he is not handsome, but he is so honourable + and clean... people don’t marry from love, but in order to do one’s + duty. I think so, at any rate, and I’d marry without being in love. + Whoever he was, I should marry him, so long as he was a decent man. Even + if he was old.... + </p> + <p> + IRINA. I was always waiting until we should be settled in Moscow, there + I should meet my true love; I used to think about him, and love him.... + But it’s all turned out to be nonsense, all nonsense.... + </p> + <p> + OLGA. [Embraces her sister] My dear, beautiful sister, I understand + everything; when Baron Nicolai Lvovitch left the army and came to us in + evening dress, [Note: I.e. in the correct dress for making a proposal of + marriage.] he seemed so bad-looking to me that I even started crying.... + He asked, “What are you crying for?” How could I tell him! But if God + brought him to marry you, I should be happy. That would be different, + quite different. + </p> + <p> + [NATASHA with a candle walks across the stage from right to left without + saying anything.] + </p> + <p> + MASHA. [Sitting up] She walks as if she’s set something on fire. + </p> + <p> + OLGA. Masha, you’re silly, you’re the silliest of the family. Please + forgive me for saying so. [Pause.] + </p> + <p> + MASHA. I want to make a confession, dear sisters. My soul is in pain. I + will confess to you, and never again to anybody... I’ll tell you this + minute. [Softly] It’s my secret but you must know everything... I can’t + be silent.... [Pause] I love, I love... I love that man.... You saw him + only just now.... Why don’t I say it... in one word. I love Vershinin. + </p> + <p> + OLGA. [Goes behind her screen] Stop that, I don’t hear you in any case. + </p> + <p> + MASHA. What am I to do? [Takes her head in her hands] First he seemed + queer to me, then I was sorry for him... then I fell in love with him... + fell in love with his voice, his words, his misfortunes, his two + daughters. + </p> + <p> + OLGA. [Behind the screen] I’m not listening. You may talk any nonsense + you like, it will be all the same, I shan’t hear. + </p> + <p> + MASHA. Oh, Olga, you are foolish. I am in love—that means that is + to be my fate. It means that is to be my lot.... And he loves me.... It + is all awful. Yes; it isn’t good, is it? [Takes IRINA’S hand and draws + her to her] Oh, my dear.... How are we going to live through our lives, + what is to become of us.... When you read a novel it all seems so old + and easy, but when you fall in love yourself, then you learn that nobody + knows anything, and each must decide for himself.... My dear ones, my + sisters... I’ve confessed, now I shall keep silence.... Like the + lunatics in Gogol’s story, I’m going to be silent... silent... + </p> + <p> + [ANDREY enters, followed by FERAPONT.] + </p> + <p> + ANDREY. [Angrily] What do you want? I don’t understand. + </p> + <p> + FERAPONT. [At the door, impatiently] I’ve already told you ten times, + Andrey Sergeyevitch. + </p> + <p> + ANDREY. In the first place I’m not Andrey Sergeyevitch, but sir. [Note: + Quite literally, “your high honour,” to correspond to Andrey’s rank as a + civil servant.] + </p> + <p> + FERAPONT. The firemen, sir, ask if they can go across your garden to the + river. Else they go right round, right round; it’s a nuisance. + </p> + <p> + ANDREY. All right. Tell them it’s all right. [Exit FERAPONT] I’m tired + of them. Where is Olga? [OLGA comes out from behind the screen] I came + to you for the key of the cupboard. I lost my own. You’ve got a little + key. [OLGA gives him the key; IRINA goes behind her screen; pause] What + a huge fire! It’s going down now. Hang it all, that Ferapont made me so + angry that I talked nonsense to him.... Sir, indeed.... [A pause] Why + are you so silent, Olga? [Pause] It’s time you stopped all that nonsense + and behaved as if you were properly alive.... You are here, Masha. Irina + is here, well, since we’re all here, let’s come to a complete + understanding, once and for all. What have you against me? What is it? + </p> + <p> + OLGA. Please don’t, Audrey dear. We’ll talk to-morrow. [Excited] What an + awful night! + </p> + <p> + ANDREY. [Much confused] Don’t excite yourself. I ask you in perfect + calmness; what have you against me? Tell me straight. + </p> + <p> + VERSHININ’S VOICE. Trum-tum-tum! + </p> + <p> + MASHA. [Stands; loudly] Tra-ta-ta! [To OLGA] Goodbye, Olga, God bless + you. [Goes behind screen and kisses IRINA] Sleep well.... Good-bye, + Andrey. Go away now, they’re tired... you can explain to-morrow.... + [Exit.] + </p> + <p> + ANDREY. I’ll only say this and go. Just now.... In the first place, + you’ve got something against Natasha, my wife; I’ve noticed it since the + very day of my marriage. Natasha is a beautiful and honest creature, + straight and honourable—that’s my opinion. I love and respect my + wife; understand it, I respect her, and I insist that others should + respect her too. I repeat, she’s an honest and honourable person, and + all your disapproval is simply silly... [Pause] In the second place, you + seem to be annoyed because I am not a professor, and am not engaged in + study. But I work for the zemstvo, I am a member of the district + council, and I consider my service as worthy and as high as the service + of science. I am a member of the district council, and I am proud of it, + if you want to know. [Pause] In the third place, I have still this to + say... that I have mortgaged the house without obtaining your + permission.... For that I am to blame, and ask to be forgiven. My debts + led me into doing it... thirty-five thousand... I do not play at cards + any more, I stopped long ago, but the chief thing I have to say in my + defence is that you girls receive a pension, and I don’t... my wages, so + to speak.... [Pause.] + </p> + <p> + KULIGIN. [At the door] Is Masha there? [Excitedly] Where is she? It’s + queer.... [Exit.] + </p> + <p> + ANDREY. They don’t hear. Natasha is a splendid, honest person. [Walks + about in silence, then stops] When I married I thought we should be + happy... all of us.... But, my God.... [Weeps] My dear, dear sisters, + don’t believe me, don’t believe me.... [Exit.] + </p> + <p> + [Fire-alarm. The stage is clear.] + </p> + <p> + IRINA. [behind her screen] Olga, who’s knocking on the floor? + </p> + <p> + OLGA. It’s doctor Ivan Romanovitch. He’s drunk. + </p> + <p> + IRINA. What a restless night! [Pause] Olga! [Looks out] Did you hear? + They are taking the brigade away from us; it’s going to be transferred + to some place far away. + </p> + <p> + OLGA. It’s only a rumour. + </p> + <p> + IRINA. Then we shall be left alone.... Olga! + </p> + <p> + OLGA. Well? + </p> + <p> + IRINA. My dear, darling sister, I esteem, I highly value the Baron, he’s + a splendid man; I’ll marry him, I’ll consent, only let’s go to Moscow! I + implore you, let’s go! There’s nothing better than Moscow on earth! + Let’s go, Olga, let’s go! + </p> + <p> + Curtain + </p> + <a name="link2H_4_0012" id="link2H_4_0012"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + ACT IV + </h2> + <p> + [The old garden at the house of the PROSOROVS. There is a long avenue of + firs, at the end of which the river can be seen. There is a forest on + the far side of the river. On the right is the terrace of the house: + bottles and tumblers are on a table here; it is evident that champagne + has just been drunk. It is midday. Every now and again passers-by walk + across the garden, from the road to the river; five soldiers go past + rapidly. CHEBUTIKIN, in a comfortable frame of mind which does not + desert him throughout the act, sits in an armchair in the garden, + waiting to be called. He wears a peaked cap and has a stick. IRINA, + KULIGIN with a cross hanging from his neck and without his moustaches, + and TUZENBACH are standing on the terrace seeing off FEDOTIK and RODE, + who are coming down into the garden; both officers are in service + uniform.] + </p> + <p> + TUZENBACH. [Exchanges kisses with FEDOTIK] You’re a good sort, we got on + so well together. [Exchanges kisses with RODE] Once again.... Good-bye, + old man! + </p> + <p> + IRINA. Au revoir! + </p> + <p> + FEDOTIK. It isn’t au revoir, it’s good-bye; we’ll never meet again! + </p> + <p> + KULIGIN. Who knows! [Wipes his eyes; smiles] Here I’ve started crying! + </p> + <p> + IRINA. We’ll meet again sometime. + </p> + <p> + FEDOTIK. After ten years—or fifteen? We’ll hardly know one another + then; we’ll say, “How do you do?” coldly.... [Takes a snapshot] Keep + still.... Once more, for the last time. + </p> + <p> + RODE. [Embracing TUZENBACH] We shan’t meet again.... [Kisses IRINA’S + hand] Thank you for everything, for everything! + </p> + <p> + FEDOTIK. [Grieved] Don’t be in such a hurry! + </p> + <p> + TUZENBACH. We shall meet again, if God wills it. Write to us. Be sure to + write. + </p> + <p> + RODE. [Looking round the garden] Good-bye, trees! [Shouts] Yo-ho! + [Pause] Good-bye, echo! + </p> + <p> + KULIGIN. Best wishes. Go and get yourselves wives there in Poland.... + Your Polish wife will clasp you and call you “kochanku!” [Note: + Darling.] [Laughs.] + </p> + <p> + FEDOTIK. [Looking at the time] There’s less than an hour left. Soleni is + the only one of our battery who is going on the barge; the rest of us + are going with the main body. Three batteries are leaving to-day, + another three to-morrow and then the town will be quiet and peaceful. + </p> + <p> + TUZENBACH. And terribly dull. + </p> + <p> + RODE. And where is Maria Sergeyevna? + </p> + <p> + KULIGIN. Masha is in the garden. + </p> + <p> + FEDOTIK. We’d like to say good-bye to her. + </p> + <p> + RODE. Good-bye, I must go, or else I’ll start weeping.... [Quickly + embraces KULIGIN and TUZENBACH, and kisses IRINA’S hand] We’ve been so + happy here.... + </p> + <p> + FEDOTIK. [To KULIGIN] Here’s a keepsake for you... a note-book with a + pencil.... We’ll go to the river from here.... [They go aside and both + look round.] + </p> + <p> + RODE. [Shouts] Yo-ho! + </p> + <p> + KULIGIN. [Shouts] Good-bye! + </p> + <p> + [At the back of the stage FEDOTIK and RODE meet MASHA; they say good-bye + and go out with her.] + </p> + <p> + IRINA. They’ve gone.... [Sits on the bottom step of the terrace.] + </p> + <p> + CHEBUTIKIN. And they forgot to say good-bye to me. + </p> + <p> + IRINA. But why is that? + </p> + <p> + CHEBUTIKIN. I just forgot, somehow. Though I’ll soon see them again, I’m + going to-morrow. Yes... just one day left. I shall be retired in a year, + then I’ll come here again, and finish my life near you. I’ve only one + year before I get my pension.... [Puts one newspaper into his pocket and + takes another out] I’ll come here to you and change my life radically... + I’ll be so quiet... so agree... agreeable, respectable.... + </p> + <p> + IRINA. Yes, you ought to change your life, dear man, somehow or other. + </p> + <p> + CHEBUTIKIN. Yes, I feel it. [Sings softly.] “Tarara-boom-deay....” + </p> + <p> + KULIGIN. We won’t reform Ivan Romanovitch! We won’t reform him! + </p> + <p> + CHEBUTIKIN. If only I was apprenticed to you! Then I’d reform. + </p> + <p> + IRINA. Feodor has shaved his moustache! I can’t bear to look at him. + </p> + <p> + KULIGIN. Well, what about it? + </p> + <p> + CHEBUTIKIN. I could tell you what your face looks like now, but it + wouldn’t be polite. + </p> + <p> + KULIGIN. Well! It’s the custom, it’s modus vivendi. Our Director is + clean-shaven, and so I too, when I received my inspectorship, had my + moustaches removed. Nobody likes it, but it’s all one to me. I’m + satisfied. Whether I’ve got moustaches or not, I’m satisfied.... [Sits.] + </p> + <p> + [At the back of the stage ANDREY is wheeling a perambulator containing a + sleeping infant.] + </p> + <p> + IRINA. Ivan Romanovitch, be a darling. I’m awfully worried. You were out + on the boulevard last night; tell me, what happened? + </p> + <p> + CHEBUTIKIN. What happened? Nothing. Quite a trifling matter. [Reads + paper] Of no importance! + </p> + <p> + KULIGIN. They say that Soleni and the Baron met yesterday on the + boulevard near the theatre.... + </p> + <p> + TUZENBACH. Stop! What right... [Waves his hand and goes into the house.] + </p> + <p> + KULIGIN. Near the theatre... Soleni started behaving offensively to the + Baron, who lost his temper and said something nasty.... + </p> + <p> + CHEBUTIKIN. I don’t know. It’s all bunkum. + </p> + <p> + KULIGIN. At some seminary or other a master wrote “bunkum” on an essay, + and the student couldn’t make the letters out—thought it was a + Latin word “luckum.” [Laughs] Awfully funny, that. They say that Soleni + is in love with Irina and hates the Baron.... That’s quite natural. + Irina is a very nice girl. She’s even like Masha, she’s so + thoughtful.... Only, Irina your character is gentler. Though Masha’s + character, too, is a very good one. I’m very fond of Masha. [Shouts of + “Yo-ho!” are heard behind the stage.] + </p> + <p> + IRINA. [Shudders] Everything seems to frighten me today. [Pause] I’ve + got everything ready, and I send my things off after dinner. The Baron + and I will be married to-morrow, and to-morrow we go away to the + brickworks, and the next day I go to the school, and the new life + begins. God will help me! When I took my examination for the teacher’s + post, I actually wept for joy and gratitude.... [Pause] The cart will be + here in a minute for my things.... + </p> + <p> + KULIGIN. Somehow or other, all this doesn’t seem at all serious. As if + it was all ideas, and nothing really serious. Still, with all my soul I + wish you happiness. + </p> + <p> + CHEBUTIKIN. [With deep feeling] My splendid... my dear, precious + girl.... You’ve gone on far ahead, I won’t catch up with you. I’m left + behind like a migrant bird grown old, and unable to fly. Fly, my dear, + fly, and God be with you! [Pause] It’s a pity you shaved your + moustaches, Feodor Ilitch. + </p> + <p> + KULIGIN. Oh, drop it! [Sighs] To-day the soldiers will be gone, and + everything will go on as in the old days. Say what you will, Masha is a + good, honest woman. I love her very much, and thank my fate for her. + People have such different fates. There’s a Kosirev who works in the + excise department here. He was at school with me; he was expelled from + the fifth class of the High School for being entirely unable to + understand <i>ut consecutivum</i>. He’s awfully hard up now and in very + poor health, and when I meet him I say to him, “How do you do, <i>ut + consecutivum</i>.” “Yes,” he says, “precisely <i>consecutivum</i>...” + and coughs. But I’ve been successful all my life, I’m happy, and I even + have a Stanislaus Cross, of the second class, and now I myself teach + others that <i>ut consecutivum</i>. Of course, I’m a clever man, much + cleverer than many, but happiness doesn’t only lie in that.... + </p> + <p> + [“The Maiden’s Prayer” is being played on the piano in the house.] + </p> + <p> + IRINA. To-morrow night I shan’t hear that “Maiden’s Prayer” any more, + and I shan’t be meeting Protopopov.... [Pause] Protopopov is sitting + there in the drawing-room; and he came to-day... + </p> + <p> + KULIGIN. Hasn’t the head-mistress come yet? + </p> + <p> + IRINA. No. She has been sent for. If you only knew how difficult it is + for me to live alone, without Olga.... She lives at the High School; + she, a head-mistress, busy all day with her affairs and I’m alone, + bored, with nothing to do, and hate the room I live in.... I’ve made up + my mind: if I can’t live in Moscow, then it must come to this. It’s + fate. It can’t be helped. It’s all the will of God, that’s the truth. + Nicolai Lvovitch made me a proposal.... Well? I thought it over and made + up my mind. He’s a good man... it’s quite remarkable how good he is.... + And suddenly my soul put out wings, I became happy, and light-hearted, + and once again the desire for work, work, came over me.... Only + something happened yesterday, some secret dread has been hanging over + me.... + </p> + <p> + CHEBUTIKIN. Luckum. Rubbish. + </p> + <p> + NATASHA. [At the window] The head-mistress. + </p> + <p> + KULIGIN. The head-mistress has come. Let’s go. [Exit with IRINA into the + house.] + </p> + <p> + CHEBUTIKIN. “It is my washing day.... Tara-ra... boom-deay.” + </p> + <p> + [MASHA approaches, ANDREY is wheeling a perambulator at the back.] + </p> + <p> + MASHA. Here you are, sitting here, doing nothing. + </p> + <p> + CHEBUTIKIN. What then? + </p> + <p> + MASHA. [Sits] Nothing.... [Pause] Did you love my mother? + </p> + <p> + CHEBUTIKIN. Very much. + </p> + <p> + MASHA. And did she love you? + </p> + <p> + CHEBUTIKIN. [After a pause] I don’t remember that. + </p> + <p> + MASHA. Is my man here? When our cook Martha used to ask about her + gendarme, she used to say my man. Is he here? + </p> + <p> + CHEBUTIKIN. Not yet. + </p> + <p> + MASHA. When you take your happiness in little bits, in snatches, and + then lose it, as I have done, you gradually get coarser, more bitter. + [Points to her bosom] I’m boiling in here.... [Looks at ANDREY with the + perambulator] There’s our brother Andrey.... All our hopes in him have + gone. There was once a great bell, a thousand persons were hoisting it, + much money and labour had been spent on it, when it suddenly fell and + was broken. Suddenly, for no particular reason.... Andrey is like + that.... + </p> + <p> + ANDREY. When are they going to stop making such a noise in the house? + It’s awful. + </p> + <p> + CHEBUTIKIN. They won’t be much longer. [Looks at his watch] My watch is + very old-fashioned, it strikes the hours.... [Winds the watch and makes + it strike] The first, second, and fifth batteries are to leave at one + o’clock precisely. [Pause] And I go to-morrow. + </p> + <p> + ANDREY. For good? + </p> + <p> + CHEBUTIKIN. I don’t know. Perhaps I’ll return in a year. The devil only + knows... it’s all one.... [Somewhere a harp and violin are being + played.] + </p> + <p> + ANDREY. The town will grow empty. It will be as if they put a cover over + it. [Pause] Something happened yesterday by the theatre. The whole town + knows of it, but I don’t. + </p> + <p> + CHEBUTIKIN. Nothing. A silly little affair. Soleni started irritating + the Baron, who lost his temper and insulted him, and so at last Soleni + had to challenge him. [Looks at his watch] It’s about time, I think.... + At half-past twelve, in the public wood, that one you can see from here + across the river.... Piff-paff. [Laughs] Soleni thinks he’s Lermontov, + and even writes verses. That’s all very well, but this is his third + duel. + </p> + <p> + MASHA. Whose? + </p> + <p> + CHEBUTIKIN. Soleni’s. + </p> + <p> + MASHA. And the Baron? + </p> + <p> + CHEBUTIKIN. What about the Baron? [Pause.] + </p> + <p> + MASHA. Everything’s all muddled up in my head.... But I say it ought not + to be allowed. He might wound the Baron or even kill him. + </p> + <p> + CHEBUTIKIN. The Baron is a good man, but one Baron more or less—what + difference does it make? It’s all the same! [Beyond the garden somebody + shouts “Co-ee! Hallo! “] You wait. That’s Skvortsov shouting; one of the + seconds. He’s in a boat. [Pause.] + </p> + <p> + ANDREY. In my opinion it’s simply immoral to fight in a duel, or to be + present, even in the quality of a doctor. + </p> + <p> + CHEBUTIKIN. It only seems so.... We don’t exist, there’s nothing on + earth, we don’t really live, it only seems that we live. Does it matter, + anyway! + </p> + <p> + MASHA. You talk and talk the whole day long. [Going] You live in a + climate like this, where it might snow any moment, and there you + talk.... [Stops] I won’t go into the house, I can’t go there.... Tell me + when Vershinin comes.... [Goes along the avenue] The migrant birds are + already on the wing.... [Looks up] Swans or geese.... My dear, happy + things.... [Exit.] + </p> + <p> + ANDREY. Our house will be empty. The officers will go away, you are + going, my sister is getting married, and I alone will remain in the + house. + </p> + <p> + CHEBUTIKIN. And your wife? + </p> + <p> + [FERAPONT enters with some documents.] + </p> + <p> + ANDREY. A wife’s a wife. She’s honest, well-bred, yes; and kind, but + with all that there is still something about her that degenerates her + into a petty, blind, even in some respects misshapen animal. In any + case, she isn’t a man. I tell you as a friend, as the only man to whom I + can lay bare my soul. I love Natasha, it’s true, but sometimes she seems + extraordinarily vulgar, and then I lose myself and can’t understand why + I love her so much, or, at any rate, used to love her.... + </p> + <p> + CHEBUTIKIN. [Rises] I’m going away to-morrow, old chap, and perhaps + we’ll never meet again, so here’s my advice. Put on your cap, take a + stick in your hand, go... go on and on, without looking round. And the + farther you go, the better. + </p> + <p> + [SOLENI goes across the back of the stage with two officers; he catches + sight of CHEBUTIKIN, and turns to him, the officers go on.] + </p> + <p> + SOLENI. Doctor, it’s time. It’s half-past twelve already. [Shakes hands + with ANDREY.] + </p> + <p> + CHEBUTIKIN. Half a minute. I’m tired of the lot of you. [To ANDREY] If + anybody asks for me, say I’ll be back soon.... [Sighs] Oh, oh, oh! + </p> + <p> + SOLENI. “He didn’t have the time to sigh. The bear sat on him heavily.” + [Goes up to him] What are you groaning about, old man? + </p> + <p> + CHEBUTIKIN. Stop it! + </p> + <p> + SOLENI. How’s your health? + </p> + <p> + CHEBUTIKIN. [Angry] Mind your own business. + </p> + <p> + SOLENI. The old man is unnecessarily excited. I won’t go far, I’ll only + just bring him down like a snipe. [Takes out his scent-bottle and scents + his hands] I’ve poured out a whole bottle of scent to-day and they still + smell... of a dead body. [Pause] Yes.... You remember the poem + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + “But he, the rebel seeks the storm, + As if the storm will bring him rest...”? +</pre> + <p> + CHEBUTIKIN. Yes. + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + “He didn’t have the time to sigh, + The bear sat on him heavily.” + </pre> + <p> + [Exit with SOLENI.] + </p> + <p> + [Shouts are heard. ANDREY and FERAPONT come in.] + </p> + <p> + FERAPONT. Documents to sign.... + </p> + <p> + ANDREY. [Irritated]. Go away! Leave me! Please! [Goes away with the + perambulator.] + </p> + <p> + FERAPONT. That’s what documents are for, to be signed. [Retires to back + of stage.] + </p> + <p> + [Enter IRINA, with TUZENBACH in a straw hat; KULIGIN walks across the + stage, shouting “Co-ee, Masha, co-ee!”] + </p> + <p> + TUZENBACH. He seems to be the only man in the town who is glad that the + soldiers are going. + </p> + <p> + IRINA. One can understand that. [Pause] The town will be empty. + </p> + <p> + TUZENBACH. My dear, I shall return soon. + </p> + <p> + IRINA. Where are you going? + </p> + <p> + TUZENBACH. I must go into the town and then... see the others off. + </p> + <p> + IRINA. It’s not true... Nicolai, why are you so absentminded to-day? + [Pause] What took place by the theatre yesterday? + </p> + <p> + TUZENBACH. [Making a movement of impatience] In an hour’s time I shall + return and be with you again. [Kisses her hands] My darling... [Looking + her closely in the face] it’s five years now since I fell in love with + you, and still I can’t get used to it, and you seem to me to grow more + and more beautiful. What lovely, wonderful hair! What eyes! I’m going to + take you away to-morrow. We shall work, we shall be rich, my dreams will + come true. You will be happy. There’s only one thing, one thing only: + you don’t love me! + </p> + <p> + IRINA. It isn’t in my power! I shall be your wife, I shall be true to + you, and obedient to you, but I can’t love you. What can I do! [Cries] I + have never been in love in my life. Oh, I used to think so much of love, + I have been thinking about it for so long by day and by night, but my + soul is like an expensive piano which is locked and the key lost. + [Pause] You seem so unhappy. + </p> + <p> + TUZENBACH. I didn’t sleep at night. There is nothing in my life so awful + as to be able to frighten me, only that lost key torments my soul and + does not let me sleep. Say something to me [Pause] say something to + me.... + </p> + <p> + IRINA. What can I say, what? + </p> + <p> + TUZENBACH. Anything. + </p> + <p> + IRINA. Don’t! don’t! [Pause.] + </p> + <p> + TUZENBACH. It is curious how silly trivial little things, sometimes for + no apparent reason, become significant. At first you laugh at these + things, you think they are of no importance, you go on and you feel that + you haven’t got the strength to stop yourself. Oh don’t let’s talk about + it! I am happy. It is as if for the first time in my life I see these + firs, maples, beeches, and they all look at me inquisitively and wait. + What beautiful trees and how beautiful, when one comes to think of it, + life must be near them! [A shout of Co-ee! in the distance] It’s time I + went.... There’s a tree which has dried up but it still sways in the + breeze with the others. And so it seems to me that if I die, I shall + still take part in life in one way or another. Good-bye, dear.... + [Kisses her hands] The papers which you gave me are on my table under + the calendar. + </p> + <p> + IRINA. I am coming with you. + </p> + <p> + TUZENBACH. [Nervously] No, no! [He goes quickly and stops in the avenue] + Irina! + </p> + <p> + IRINA. What is it? + </p> + <p> + TUZENBACH. [Not knowing what to say] I haven’t had any coffee to-day. + Tell them to make me some.... [He goes out quickly.] + </p> + <p> + [IRINA stands deep in thought. Then she goes to the back of the stage + and sits on a swing. ANDREY comes in with the perambulator and FERAPONT + also appears.] + </p> + <p> + FERAPONT. Andrey Sergeyevitch, it isn’t as if the documents were mine, + they are the government’s. I didn’t make them. + </p> + <p> + ANDREY. Oh, what has become of my past and where is it? I used to be + young, happy, clever, I used to be able to think and frame clever ideas, + the present and the future seemed to me full of hope. Why do we, almost + before we have begun to live, become dull, grey, uninteresting, lazy, + apathetic, useless, unhappy.... This town has already been in existence + for two hundred years and it has a hundred thousand inhabitants, not one + of whom is in any way different from the others. There has never been, + now or at any other time, a single leader of men, a single scholar, an + artist, a man of even the slightest eminence who might arouse envy or a + passionate desire to be imitated. They only eat, drink, sleep, and then + they die... more people are born and also eat, drink, sleep, and so as + not to go silly from boredom, they try to make life many-sided with + their beastly backbiting, vodka, cards, and litigation. The wives + deceive their husbands, and the husbands lie, and pretend they see + nothing and hear nothing, and the evil influence irresistibly oppresses + the children and the divine spark in them is extinguished, and they + become just as pitiful corpses and just as much like one another as + their fathers and mothers.... [Angrily to FERAPONT] What do you want? + </p> + <p> + FERAPONT. What? Documents want signing. + </p> + <p> + ANDREY. I’m tired of you. + </p> + <p> + FERAPONT. [Handing him papers] The hall-porter from the law courts was + saying just now that in the winter there were two hundred degrees of + frost in Petersburg. + </p> + <p> + ANDREY. The present is beastly, but when I think of the future, how good + it is! I feel so light, so free; there is a light in the distance, I see + freedom. I see myself and my children freeing ourselves from vanities, + from kvass, from goose baked with cabbage, from after-dinner naps, from + base idleness.... + </p> + <p> + FERAPONT. He was saying that two thousand people were frozen to death. + The people were frightened, he said. In Petersburg or Moscow, I don’t + remember which. + </p> + <p> + ANDREY. [Overcome by a tender emotion] My dear sisters, my beautiful + sisters! [Crying] Masha, my sister.... + </p> + <p> + NATASHA. [At the window] Who’s talking so loudly out here? Is that you, + Andrey? You’ll wake little Sophie. <i>Il ne faut pas faire du bruit, la + Sophie est dormée deja. Vous êtes un ours.</i> [Angrily] If you want to + talk, then give the perambulator and the baby to somebody else. + Ferapont, take the perambulator! + </p> + <p> + FERAPONT. Yes’m. [Takes the perambulator.] + </p> + <p> + ANDREY. [Confused] I’m speaking quietly. + </p> + <p> + NATASHA. [At the window, nursing her boy] Bobby! Naughty Bobby! Bad + little Bobby! + </p> + <p> + ANDREY. [Looking through the papers] All right, I’ll look them over and + sign if necessary, and you can take them back to the offices.... + </p> + <p> + [Goes into house reading papers; FERAPONT takes the perambulator to the + back of the garden.] + </p> + <p> + NATASHA. [At the window] Bobby, what’s your mother’s name? Dear, dear! + And who’s this? That’s Aunt Olga. Say to your aunt, “How do you do, + Olga!” + </p> + <p> + [Two wandering musicians, a man and a girl, are playing on a violin and + a harp. VERSHININ, OLGA, and ANFISA come out of the house and listen for + a minute in silence; IRINA comes up to them.] + </p> + <p> + OLGA. Our garden might be a public thoroughfare, from the way people + walk and ride across it. Nurse, give those musicians something! + </p> + <p> + ANFISA. [Gives money to the musicians] Go away with God’s blessing on + you. [The musicians bow and go away] A bitter sort of people. You don’t + play on a full stomach. [To IRINA] How do you do, Arisha! [Kisses her] + Well, little girl, here I am, still alive! Still alive! In the High + School, together with little Olga, in her official apartments... so the + Lord has appointed for my old age. Sinful woman that I am, I’ve never + lived like that in my life before.... A large flat, government property, + and I’ve a whole room and bed to myself. All government property. I wake + up at nights and, oh God, and Holy Mother, there isn’t a happier person + than I! + </p> + <p> + VERSHININ. [Looks at his watch] We are going soon, Olga Sergeyevna. It’s + time for me to go. [Pause] I wish you every... every.... Where’s Maria + Sergeyevna? + </p> + <p> + IRINA. She’s somewhere in the garden. I’ll go and look for her. + </p> + <p> + VERSHININ. If you’ll be so kind. I haven’t time. + </p> + <p> + ANFISA. I’ll go and look, too. [Shouts] Little Masha, co-ee! [Goes out + with IRINA down into the garden] Co-ee, co-ee! + </p> + <p> + VERSHININ. Everything comes to an end. And so we, too, must part. [Looks + at his watch] The town gave us a sort of farewell breakfast, we had + champagne to drink and the mayor made a speech, and I ate and listened, + but my soul was here all the time.... [Looks round the garden] I’m so + used to you now. + </p> + <p> + OLGA. Shall we ever meet again? + </p> + <p> + VERSHININ. Probably not. [Pause] My wife and both my daughters will stay + here another two months. If anything happens, or if anything has to be + done... + </p> + <p> + OLGA. Yes, yes, of course. You need not worry. [Pause] To-morrow there + won’t be a single soldier left in the town, it will all be a memory, + and, of course, for us a new life will begin.... [Pause] None of our + plans are coming right. I didn’t want to be a head-mistress, but they + made me one, all the same. It means there’s no chance of Moscow.... + </p> + <p> + VERSHININ. Well... thank you for everything. Forgive me if I’ve... I’ve + said such an awful lot—forgive me for that too, don’t think badly + of me. + </p> + <p> + OLGA. [Wipes her eyes] Why isn’t Masha coming... + </p> + <p> + VERSHININ. What else can I say in parting? Can I philosophize about + anything? [Laughs] Life is heavy. To many of us it seems dull and + hopeless, but still, it must be acknowledged that it is getting lighter + and clearer, and it seems that the time is not far off when it will be + quite clear. [Looks at his watch] It’s time I went! Mankind used to be + absorbed in wars, and all its existence was filled with campaigns, + attacks, defeats, now we’ve outlived all that, leaving after us a great + waste place, which there is nothing to fill with at present; but mankind + is looking for something, and will certainly find it. Oh, if it only + happened more quickly. [Pause] If only education could be added to + industry, and industry to education. [Looks at his watch] It’s time I + went.... + </p> + <p> + OLGA. Here she comes. + </p> + <p> + [Enter MASHA.] + </p> + <p> + VERSHININ. I came to say good-bye.... + </p> + <p> + [OLGA steps aside a little, so as not to be in their way.] + </p> + <p> + MASHA. [Looking him in the face] Good-bye. [Prolonged kiss.] + </p> + <p> + OLGA. Don’t, don’t. [MASHA is crying bitterly] + </p> + <p> + VERSHININ. Write to me.... Don’t forget! Let me go.... It’s time. Take + her, Olga Sergeyevna... it’s time... I’m late... + </p> + <p> + [He kisses OLGA’S hand in evident emotion, then embraces MASHA once more + and goes out quickly.] + </p> + <p> + OLGA. Don’t, Masha! Stop, dear.... [KULIGIN enters.] + </p> + <p> + KULIGIN. [Confused] Never mind, let her cry, let her.... My dear Masha, + my good Masha.... You’re my wife, and I’m happy, whatever happens... I’m + not complaining, I don’t reproach you at all.... Olga is a witness to + it. Let’s begin to live again as we used to, and not by a single word, + or hint... + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> +MASHA. [Restraining her sobs] “There stands a green oak by the sea, + And a chain of bright gold is around it.... + And a chain of bright gold is around it....” + </pre> + <p> + I’m going off my head... “There stands... a green oak... by the sea.”... + </p> + <p> + OLGA. Don’t, Masha, don’t... give her some water.... + </p> + <p> + MASHA. I’m not crying any more.... + </p> + <p> + KULIGIN. She’s not crying any more... she’s a good... [A shot is heard + from a distance.] + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> +MASHA. “There stands a green oak by the sea, + And a chain of bright gold is around it... + An oak of green gold....” + </pre> + <p> + I’m mixing it up.... [Drinks some water] Life is dull... I don’t want + anything more now... I’ll be all right in a moment.... It doesn’t + matter.... What do those lines mean? Why do they run in my head? My + thoughts are all tangled. + </p> + <p> + [IRINA enters.] + </p> + <p> + OLGA. Be quiet, Masha. There’s a good girl.... Let’s go in. + </p> + <p> + MASHA. [Angrily] I shan’t go in there. [Sobs, but controls herself at + once] I’m not going to go into the house, I won’t go.... + </p> + <p> + IRINA. Let’s sit here together and say nothing. I’m going away + to-morrow.... [Pause.] + </p> + <p> + KULIGIN. Yesterday I took away these whiskers and this beard from a boy + in the third class.... [He puts on the whiskers and beard] Don’t I look + like the German master.... [Laughs] Don’t I? The boys are amusing. + </p> + <p> + MASHA. You really do look like that German of yours. + </p> + <p> + OLGA. [Laughs] Yes. [MASHA weeps.] + </p> + <p> + IRINA. Don’t, Masha! + </p> + <p> + KULIGIN. It’s a very good likeness.... + </p> + <p> + [Enter NATASHA.] + </p> + <p> + NATASHA. [To the maid] What? Mihail Ivanitch Protopopov will sit with + little Sophie, and Andrey Sergeyevitch can take little Bobby out. + Children are such a bother.... [To IRINA] Irina, it’s such a pity you’re + going away to-morrow. Do stop just another week. [Sees KULIGIN and + screams; he laughs and takes off his beard and whiskers] How you + frightened me! [To IRINA] I’ve grown used to you and do you think it + will be easy for me to part from you? I’m going to have Andrey and his + violin put into your room—let him fiddle away in there!—and + we’ll put little Sophie into his room. The beautiful, lovely child! What + a little girlie! To-day she looked at me with such pretty eyes and said + “Mamma!” + </p> + <p> + KULIGIN. A beautiful child, it’s quite true. + </p> + <p> + NATASHA. That means I shall have the place to myself to-morrow. [Sighs] + In the first place I shall have that avenue of fir-trees cut down, then + that maple. It’s so ugly at nights.... [To IRINA] That belt doesn’t suit + you at all, dear.... It’s an error of taste. And I’ll give orders to + have lots and lots of little flowers planted here, and they’ll smell.... + [Severely] Why is there a fork lying about here on the seat? [Going + towards the house, to the maid] Why is there a fork lying about here on + the seat, I say? [Shouts] Don’t you dare to answer me! + </p> + <p> + KULIGIN. Temper! temper! [A march is played off; they all listen.] + </p> + <p> + OLGA. They’re going. + </p> + <p> + [CHEBUTIKIN comes in.] + </p> + <p> + MASHA. They’re going. Well, well.... Bon voyage! [To her husband] We + must be going home.... Where’s my coat and hat? + </p> + <p> + KULIGIN. I took them in... I’ll bring them, in a moment. + </p> + <p> + OLGA. Yes, now we can all go home. It’s time. + </p> + <p> + CHEBUTIKIN. Olga Sergeyevna! + </p> + <p> + OLGA. What is it? [Pause] What is it? + </p> + <p> + CHEBUTIKIN. Nothing... I don’t know how to tell you.... [Whispers to + her.] + </p> + <p> + OLGA. [Frightened] It can’t be true! + </p> + <p> + CHEBUTIKIN. Yes... such a story... I’m tired out, exhausted, I won’t say + any more.... [Sadly] Still, it’s all the same! + </p> + <p> + MASHA. What’s happened? + </p> + <p> + OLGA. [Embraces IRINA] This is a terrible day... I don’t know how to + tell you, dear.... + </p> + <p> + IRINA. What is it? Tell me quickly, what is it? For God’s sake! [Cries.] + </p> + <p> + CHEBUTIKIN. The Baron was killed in the duel just now. + </p> + <p> + IRINA. [Cries softly] I knew it, I knew it.... + </p> + <p> + CHEBUTIKIN. [Sits on a bench at the back of the stage] I’m tired.... + [Takes a paper from his pocket] Let ‘em cry.... [Sings softly] + “Tarara-boom-deay, it is my washing day....” Isn’t it all the same! + </p> + <p> + [The three sisters are standing, pressing against one another.] + </p> + <p> + MASHA. Oh, how the music plays! They are leaving us, one has quite left + us, quite and for ever. We remain alone, to begin our life over again. + We must live... we must live.... + </p> + <p> + IRINA. [Puts her head on OLGA’s bosom] There will come a time when + everybody will know why, for what purpose, there is all this suffering, + and there will be no more mysteries. But now we must live... we must + work, just work! To-morrow, I’ll go away alone, and I’ll teach and give + my whole life to those who, perhaps, need it. It’s autumn now, soon it + will be winter, the snow will cover everything, and I shall be working, + working.... + </p> + <p> + OLGA. [Embraces both her sisters] The bands are playing so gaily, so + bravely, and one does so want to live! Oh, my God! Time will pass on, + and we shall depart for ever, we shall be forgotten; they will forget + our faces, voices, and even how many there were of us, but our + sufferings will turn into joy for those who will live after us, + happiness and peace will reign on earth, and people will remember with + kindly words, and bless those who are living now. Oh dear sisters, our + life is not yet at an end. Let us live. The music is so gay, so joyful, + and, it seems that in a little while we shall know why we are living, + why we are suffering.... If we could only know, if we could only know! + </p> + <p> + [The music has been growing softer and softer; KULIGIN, smiling happily, + brings out the hat and coat; ANDREY wheels out the perambulator in which + BOBBY is sitting.] + </p> + <p> + CHEBUTIKIN. [Sings softly] “Tara... ra-boom-deay.... It is my + washing-day.”... [Reads a paper] It’s all the same! It’s all the same! + </p> + <p> + OLGA. If only we could know, if only we could know! + </p> + <p> + Curtain. + </p> + <a name="link2H_4_0013" id="link2H_4_0013"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + THE CHERRY ORCHARD + </h2> + <h3> + A COMEDY IN FOUR ACTS + </h3> + CHARACTERS +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + LUBOV ANDREYEVNA RANEVSKY (Mme. RANEVSKY), a landowner + ANYA, her daughter, aged seventeen + VARYA (BARBARA), her adopted daughter, aged twenty-seven + LEONID ANDREYEVITCH GAEV, Mme. Ranevsky’s brother + ERMOLAI ALEXEYEVITCH LOPAKHIN, a merchant + PETER SERGEYEVITCH TROFIMOV, a student + BORIS BORISOVITCH SIMEONOV-PISCHIN, a landowner + CHARLOTTA IVANOVNA, a governess + SIMEON PANTELEYEVITCH EPIKHODOV, a clerk + DUNYASHA (AVDOTYA FEDOROVNA), a maidservant + FIERS, an old footman, aged eighty-seven + YASHA, a young footman + A TRAMP + A STATION-MASTER + POST-OFFICE CLERK + GUESTS + A SERVANT +</pre> + <p> + The action takes place on Mme. RANEVSKY’S estate + </p> + <a name="link2H_4_0014" id="link2H_4_0014"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + ACT ONE + </h2> + <p> + [A room which is still called the nursery. One of the doors leads into + ANYA’S room. It is close on sunrise. It is May. The cherry-trees are in + flower but it is chilly in the garden. There is an early frost. The + windows of the room are shut. DUNYASHA comes in with a candle, and + LOPAKHIN with a book in his hand.] + </p> + <p> + LOPAKHIN. The train’s arrived, thank God. What’s the time? + </p> + <p> + DUNYASHA. It will soon be two. [Blows out candle] It is light already. + </p> + <p> + LOPAKHIN. How much was the train late? Two hours at least. [Yawns and + stretches himself] I have made a rotten mess of it! I came here on + purpose to meet them at the station, and then overslept myself... in my + chair. It’s a pity. I wish you’d wakened me. + </p> + <p> + DUNYASHA. I thought you’d gone away. [Listening] I think I hear them + coming. + </p> + <p> + LOPAKHIN. [Listens] No.... They’ve got to collect their luggage and so + on.... [Pause] Lubov Andreyevna has been living abroad for five years; I + don’t know what she’ll be like now.... She’s a good sort—an easy, + simple person. I remember when I was a boy of fifteen, my father, who is + dead—he used to keep a shop in the village here—hit me on + the face with his fist, and my nose bled.... We had gone into the yard + together for something or other, and he was a little drunk. Lubov + Andreyevna, as I remember her now, was still young, and very thin, and + she took me to the washstand here in this very room, the nursery. She + said, “Don’t cry, little man, it’ll be all right in time for your + wedding.” [Pause] “Little man”.... My father was a peasant, it’s true, + but here I am in a white waistcoat and yellow shoes... a pearl out of an + oyster. I’m rich now, with lots of money, but just think about it and + examine me, and you’ll find I’m still a peasant down to the marrow of my + bones. [Turns over the pages of his book] Here I’ve been reading this + book, but I understood nothing. I read and fell asleep. [Pause.] + </p> + <p> + DUNYASHA. The dogs didn’t sleep all night; they know that they’re + coming. + </p> + <p> + LOPAKHIN. What’s up with you, Dunyasha...? + </p> + <p> + DUNYASHA. My hands are shaking. I shall faint. + </p> + <p> + LOPAKHIN. You’re too sensitive, Dunyasha. You dress just like a lady, + and you do your hair like one too. You oughtn’t. You should know your + place. + </p> + <p> + EPIKHODOV. [Enters with a bouquet. He wears a short jacket and + brilliantly polished boots which squeak audibly. He drops the bouquet as + he enters, then picks it up] The gardener sent these; says they’re to go + into the dining-room. [Gives the bouquet to DUNYASHA.] + </p> + <p> + LOPAKHIN. And you’ll bring me some kvass. + </p> + <p> + DUNYASHA. Very well. [Exit.] + </p> + <p> + EPIKHODOV. There’s a frost this morning—three degrees, and the + cherry-trees are all in flower. I can’t approve of our climate. [Sighs] + I can’t. Our climate is indisposed to favour us even this once. And, + Ermolai Alexeyevitch, allow me to say to you, in addition, that I bought + myself some boots two days ago, and I beg to assure you that they squeak + in a perfectly unbearable manner. What shall I put on them? + </p> + <p> + LOPAKHIN. Go away. You bore me. + </p> + <p> + EPIKHODOV. Some misfortune happens to me every day. But I don’t + complain; I’m used to it, and I can smile. [DUNYASHA comes in and brings + LOPAKHIN some kvass] I shall go. [Knocks over a chair] There.... + [Triumphantly] There, you see, if I may use the word, what circumstances + I am in, so to speak. It is even simply marvellous. [Exit.] + </p> + <p> + DUNYASHA. I may confess to you, Ermolai Alexeyevitch, that Epikhodov has + proposed to me. + </p> + <p> + LOPAKHIN. Ah! + </p> + <p> + DUNYASHA. I don’t know what to do about it. He’s a nice young man, but + every now and again, when he begins talking, you can’t understand a word + he’s saying. I think I like him. He’s madly in love with me. He’s an + unlucky man; every day something happens. We tease him about it. They + call him “Two-and-twenty troubles.” + </p> + <p> + LOPAKHIN. [Listens] There they come, I think. + </p> + <p> + DUNYASHA. They’re coming! What’s the matter with me? I’m cold all over. + </p> + <p> + LOPAKHIN. There they are, right enough. Let’s go and meet them. Will she + know me? We haven’t seen each other for five years. + </p> + <p> + DUNYASHA. [Excited] I shall faint in a minute.... Oh, I’m fainting! + </p> + <p> + [Two carriages are heard driving up to the house. LOPAKHIN and DUNYASHA + quickly go out. The stage is empty. A noise begins in the next room. + FIERS, leaning on a stick, walks quickly across the stage; he has just + been to meet LUBOV ANDREYEVNA. He wears an old-fashioned livery and a + tall hat. He is saying something to himself, but not a word of it can be + made out. The noise behind the stage gets louder and louder. A voice is + heard: “Let’s go in there.” Enter LUBOV ANDREYEVNA, ANYA, and CHARLOTTA + IVANOVNA with a little dog on a chain, and all dressed in travelling + clothes, VARYA in a long coat and with a kerchief on her head. GAEV, + SIMEONOV-PISCHIN, LOPAKHIN, DUNYASHA with a parcel and an umbrella, and + a servant with luggage—all cross the room.] + </p> + <p> + ANYA. Let’s come through here. Do you remember what this room is, + mother? + </p> + <p> + LUBOV. [Joyfully, through her tears] The nursery! + </p> + <p> + VARYA. How cold it is! My hands are quite numb. [To LUBOV ANDREYEVNA] + Your rooms, the white one and the violet one, are just as they used to + be, mother. + </p> + <p> + LUBOV. My dear nursery, oh, you beautiful room.... I used to sleep here + when I was a baby. [Weeps] And here I am like a little girl again. + [Kisses her brother, VARYA, then her brother again] And Varya is just as + she used to be, just like a nun. And I knew Dunyasha. [Kisses her.] + </p> + <p> + GAEV. The train was two hours late. There now; how’s that for + punctuality? + </p> + <p> + CHARLOTTA. [To PISCHIN] My dog eats nuts too. + </p> + <p> + PISCHIN. [Astonished] To think of that, now! + </p> + <p> + [All go out except ANYA and DUNYASHA.] + </p> + <p> + DUNYASHA. We did have to wait for you! + </p> + <p> + [Takes off ANYA’S cloak and hat.] + </p> + <p> + ANYA. I didn’t get any sleep for four nights on the journey.... I’m + awfully cold. + </p> + <p> + DUNYASHA. You went away during Lent, when it was snowing and frosty, but + now? Darling! [Laughs and kisses her] We did have to wait for you, my + joy, my pet.... I must tell you at once, I can’t bear to wait a minute. + </p> + <p> + ANYA. [Tired] Something else now...? + </p> + <p> + DUNYASHA. The clerk, Epikhodov, proposed to me after Easter. + </p> + <p> + ANYA. Always the same.... [Puts her hair straight] I’ve lost all my + hairpins.... [She is very tired, and even staggers as she walks.] + </p> + <p> + DUNYASHA. I don’t know what to think about it. He loves me, he loves me + so much! + </p> + <p> + ANYA. [Looks into her room; in a gentle voice] My room, my windows, as + if I’d never gone away. I’m at home! To-morrow morning I’ll get up and + have a run in the garden....Oh, if I could only get to sleep! I didn’t + sleep the whole journey, I was so bothered. + </p> + <p> + DUNYASHA. Peter Sergeyevitch came two days ago. + </p> + <p> + ANYA. [Joyfully] Peter! + </p> + <p> + DUNYASHA. He sleeps in the bath-house, he lives there. He said he was + afraid he’d be in the way. [Looks at her pocket-watch] I ought to wake + him, but Barbara Mihailovna told me not to. “Don’t wake him,” she said. + </p> + <p> + [Enter VARYA, a bunch of keys on her belt.] + </p> + <p> + VARYA. Dunyasha, some coffee, quick. Mother wants some. + </p> + <p> + DUNYASHA. This minute. [Exit.] + </p> + <p> + VARYA. Well, you’ve come, glory be to God. Home again. [Caressing her] + My darling is back again! My pretty one is back again! + </p> + <p> + ANYA. I did have an awful time, I tell you. + </p> + <p> + VARYA. I can just imagine it! + </p> + <p> + ANYA. I went away in Holy Week; it was very cold then. Charlotta talked + the whole way and would go on performing her tricks. Why did you tie + Charlotta on to me? + </p> + <p> + VARYA. You couldn’t go alone, darling, at seventeen! + </p> + <p> + ANYA. We went to Paris; it’s cold there and snowing. I talk French + perfectly horribly. My mother lives on the fifth floor. I go to her, and + find her there with various Frenchmen, women, an old abbé with a book, + and everything in tobacco smoke and with no comfort at all. I suddenly + became very sorry for mother—so sorry that I took her head in my + arms and hugged her and wouldn’t let her go. Then mother started hugging + me and crying.... + </p> + <p> + VARYA. [Weeping] Don’t say any more, don’t say any more.... + </p> + <p> + ANYA. She’s already sold her villa near Mentone; she’s nothing left, + nothing. And I haven’t a copeck left either; we only just managed to get + here. And mother won’t understand! We had dinner at a station; she asked + for all the expensive things, and tipped the waiters one rouble each. + And Charlotta too. Yasha wants his share too—it’s too bad. + Mother’s got a footman now, Yasha; we’ve brought him here. + </p> + <p> + VARYA. I saw the wretch. + </p> + <p> + ANYA. How’s business? Has the interest been paid? + </p> + <p> + VARYA. Not much chance of that. + </p> + <p> + ANYA. Oh God, oh God... + </p> + <p> + VARYA. The place will be sold in August. + </p> + <p> + ANYA. O God.... + </p> + <p> + LOPAKHIN. [Looks in at the door and moos] Moo!... [Exit.] + </p> + <p> + VARYA. [Through her tears] I’d like to.... [Shakes her fist.] + </p> + <p> + ANYA. [Embraces VARYA, softly] Varya, has he proposed to you? [VARYA + shakes head] But he loves you.... Why don’t you make up your minds? Why + do you keep on waiting? + </p> + <p> + VARYA. I think that it will all come to nothing. He’s a busy man. I’m + not his affair... he pays no attention to me. Bless the man, I don’t + want to see him.... But everybody talks about our marriage, everybody + congratulates me, and there’s nothing in it at all, it’s all like a + dream. [In another tone] You’ve got a brooch like a bee. + </p> + <p> + ANYA. [Sadly] Mother bought it. [Goes into her room, and talks lightly, + like a child] In Paris I went up in a balloon! + </p> + <p> + VARYA. My darling’s come back, my pretty one’s come back! [DUNYASHA has + already returned with the coffee-pot and is making the coffee, VARYA + stands near the door] I go about all day, looking after the house, and I + think all the time, if only you could marry a rich man, then I’d be + happy and would go away somewhere by myself, then to Kiev... to Moscow, + and so on, from one holy place to another. I’d tramp and tramp. That + would be splendid! + </p> + <p> + ANYA. The birds are singing in the garden. What time is it now? + </p> + <p> + VARYA. It must be getting on for three. Time you went to sleep, darling. + [Goes into ANYA’S room] Splendid! + </p> + <p> + [Enter YASHA with a plaid shawl and a travelling bag.] + </p> + <p> + YASHA. [Crossing the stage: Politely] May I go this way? + </p> + <p> + DUNYASHA. I hardly knew you, Yasha. You have changed abroad. + </p> + <p> + YASHA. Hm... and who are you? + </p> + <p> + DUNYASHA. When you went away I was only so high. [Showing with her hand] + I’m Dunyasha, the daughter of Theodore Kozoyedov. You don’t remember! + </p> + <p> + YASHA. Oh, you little cucumber! + </p> + <p> + [Looks round and embraces her. She screams and drops a saucer. YASHA + goes out quickly.] + </p> + <p> + VARYA. [In the doorway: In an angry voice] What’s that? + </p> + <p> + DUNYASHA. [Through her tears] I’ve broken a saucer. + </p> + <p> + VARYA. It may bring luck. + </p> + <p> + ANYA. [Coming out of her room] We must tell mother that Peter’s here. + </p> + <p> + VARYA. I told them not to wake him. + </p> + <p> + ANYA. [Thoughtfully] Father died six years ago, and a month later my + brother Grisha was drowned in the river—such a dear little boy of + seven! Mother couldn’t bear it; she went away, away, without looking + round.... [Shudders] How I understand her; if only she knew! [Pause] And + Peter Trofimov was Grisha’s tutor, he might tell her.... + </p> + <p> + [Enter FIERS in a short jacket and white waistcoat.] + </p> + <p> + FIERS. [Goes to the coffee-pot, nervously] The mistress is going to have + some food here.... [Puts on white gloves] Is the coffee ready? [To + DUNYASHA, severely] You! Where’s the cream? + </p> + <p> + DUNYASHA. Oh, dear me...! [Rapid exit.] + </p> + <p> + FIERS. [Fussing round the coffee-pot] Oh, you bungler.... [Murmurs to + himself] Back from Paris... the master went to Paris once... in a + carriage.... [Laughs.] + </p> + <p> + VARYA. What are you talking about, Fiers? + </p> + <p> + FIERS. I beg your pardon? [Joyfully] The mistress is home again. I’ve + lived to see her! Don’t care if I die now.... [Weeps with joy.] + </p> + <p> + [Enter LUBOV ANDREYEVNA, GAEV, LOPAKHIN, and SIMEONOV-PISCHIN, the + latter in a long jacket of thin cloth and loose trousers. GAEV, coming + in, moves his arms and body about as if he is playing billiards.] + </p> + <p> + LUBOV. Let me remember now. Red into the corner! Twice into the centre! + </p> + <p> + GAEV. Right into the pocket! Once upon a time you and I used both to + sleep in this room, and now I’m fifty-one; it does seem strange. + </p> + <p> + LOPAKHIN. Yes, time does go. + </p> + <p> + GAEV. Who does? + </p> + <p> + LOPAKHIN. I said that time does go. + </p> + <p> + GAEV. It smells of patchouli here. + </p> + <p> + ANYA. I’m going to bed. Good-night, mother. [Kisses her.] + </p> + <p> + LUBOV. My lovely little one. [Kisses her hand] Glad to be at home? I + can’t get over it. + </p> + <p> + ANYA. Good-night, uncle. + </p> + <p> + GAEV. [Kisses her face and hands] God be with you. How you do resemble + your mother! [To his sister] You were just like her at her age, Luba. + </p> + <p> + [ANYA gives her hand to LOPAKHIN and PISCHIN and goes out, shutting the + door behind her.] + </p> + <p> + LUBOV. She’s awfully tired. + </p> + <p> + PISCHIN. It’s a very long journey. + </p> + <p> + VARYA. [To LOPAKHIN and PISCHIN] Well, sirs, it’s getting on for three, + quite time you went. + </p> + <p> + LUBOV. [Laughs] You’re just the same as ever, Varya. [Draws her close + and kisses her] I’ll have some coffee now, then we’ll all go. [FIERS + lays a cushion under her feet] Thank you, dear. I’m used to coffee. I + drink it day and night. Thank you, dear old man. [Kisses FIERS.] + </p> + <p> + VARYA. I’ll go and see if they’ve brought in all the luggage. [Exit.] + </p> + <p> + LUBOV. Is it really I who am sitting here? [Laughs] I want to jump about + and wave my arms. [Covers her face with her hands] But suppose I’m + dreaming! God knows I love my own country, I love it deeply; I couldn’t + look out of the railway carriage, I cried so much. [Through her tears] + Still, I must have my coffee. Thank you, Fiers. Thank you, dear old man. + I’m so glad you’re still with us. + </p> + <p> + FIERS. The day before yesterday. + </p> + <p> + GAEV. He doesn’t hear well. + </p> + <p> + LOPAKHIN. I’ve got to go off to Kharkov by the five o’clock train. I’m + awfully sorry! I should like to have a look at you, to gossip a little. + You’re as fine-looking as ever. + </p> + <p> + PISCHIN. [Breathes heavily] Even finer-looking... dressed in Paris + fashions... confound it all. + </p> + <p> + LOPAKHIN. Your brother, Leonid Andreyevitch, says I’m a snob, a usurer, + but that is absolutely nothing to me. Let him talk. Only I do wish you + would believe in me as you once did, that your wonderful, touching eyes + would look at me as they did before. Merciful God! My father was the + serf of your grandfather and your own father, but you—you more + than anybody else—did so much for me once upon a time that I’ve + forgotten everything and love you as if you belonged to my family... and + even more. + </p> + <p> + LUBOV. I can’t sit still, I’m not in a state to do it. [Jumps up and + walks about in great excitement] I’ll never survive this happiness.... + You can laugh at me; I’m a silly woman.... My dear little cupboard. + [Kisses cupboard] My little table. + </p> + <p> + GAEV. Nurse has died in your absence. + </p> + <p> + LUBOV. [Sits and drinks coffee] Yes, bless her soul. I heard by letter. + </p> + <p> + GAEV. And Anastasius has died too. Peter Kosoy has left me and now lives + in town with the Commissioner of Police. [Takes a box of sugar-candy out + of his pocket and sucks a piece.] + </p> + <p> + PISCHIN. My daughter, Dashenka, sends her love. + </p> + <p> + LOPAKHIN. I want to say something very pleasant, very delightful, to + you. [Looks at his watch] I’m going away at once, I haven’t much time... + but I’ll tell you all about it in two or three words. As you already + know, your cherry orchard is to be sold to pay your debts, and the sale + is fixed for August 22; but you needn’t be alarmed, dear madam, you may + sleep in peace; there’s a way out. Here’s my plan. Please attend + carefully! Your estate is only thirteen miles from the town, the railway + runs by, and if the cherry orchard and the land by the river are broken + up into building lots and are then leased off for villas you’ll get at + least twenty-five thousand roubles a year profit out of it. + </p> + <p> + GAEV. How utterly absurd! + </p> + <p> + LUBOV. I don’t understand you at all, Ermolai Alexeyevitch. + </p> + <p> + LOPAKHIN. You will get twenty-five roubles a year for each dessiatin + from the leaseholders at the very least, and if you advertise now I’m + willing to bet that you won’t have a vacant plot left by the autumn; + they’ll all go. In a word, you’re saved. I congratulate you. Only, of + course, you’ll have to put things straight, and clean up.... For + instance, you’ll have to pull down all the old buildings, this house, + which isn’t any use to anybody now, and cut down the old cherry + orchard.... + </p> + <p> + LUBOV. Cut it down? My dear man, you must excuse me, but you don’t + understand anything at all. If there’s anything interesting or + remarkable in the whole province, it’s this cherry orchard of ours. + </p> + <p> + LOPAKHIN. The only remarkable thing about the orchard is that it’s very + large. It only bears fruit every other year, and even then you don’t + know what to do with them; nobody buys any. + </p> + <p> + GAEV. This orchard is mentioned in the “Encyclopaedic Dictionary.” + </p> + <p> + LOPAKHIN. [Looks at his watch] If we can’t think of anything and don’t + make up our minds to anything, then on August 22, both the cherry + orchard and the whole estate will be up for auction. Make up your mind! + I swear there’s no other way out, I’ll swear it again. + </p> + <p> + FIERS. In the old days, forty or fifty years back, they dried the + cherries, soaked them and pickled them, and made jam of them, and it + used to happen that... + </p> + <p> + GAEV. Be quiet, Fiers. + </p> + <p> + FIERS. And then we’d send the dried cherries off in carts to Moscow and + Kharkov. And money! And the dried cherries were soft, juicy, sweet, and + nicely scented.... They knew the way.... + </p> + <p> + LUBOV. What was the way? + </p> + <p> + FIERS. They’ve forgotten. Nobody remembers. + </p> + <p> + PISCHIN. [To LUBOV ANDREYEVNA] What about Paris? Eh? Did you eat frogs? + </p> + <p> + LUBOV. I ate crocodiles. + </p> + <p> + PISCHIN. To think of that, now. + </p> + <p> + LOPAKHIN. Up to now in the villages there were only the gentry and the + labourers, and now the people who live in villas have arrived. All towns + now, even small ones, are surrounded by villas. And it’s safe to say + that in twenty years’ time the villa resident will be all over the + place. At present he sits on his balcony and drinks tea, but it may well + come to pass that he’ll begin to cultivate his patch of land, and then + your cherry orchard will be happy, rich, splendid.... + </p> + <p> + GAEV. [Angry] What rot! + </p> + <p> + [Enter VARYA and YASHA.] + </p> + <p> + VARYA. There are two telegrams for you, little mother. [Picks out a key + and noisily unlocks an antique cupboard] Here they are. + </p> + <p> + LUBOV. They’re from Paris.... [Tears them up without reading them] I’ve + done with Paris. + </p> + <p> + GAEV. And do you know, Luba, how old this case is? A week ago I took out + the bottom drawer; I looked and saw figures burnt out in it. That case + was made exactly a hundred years ago. What do you think of that? What? + We could celebrate its jubilee. It hasn’t a soul of its own, but still, + say what you will, it’s a fine bookcase. + </p> + <p> + PISCHIN. [Astonished] A hundred years.... Think of that! + </p> + <p> + GAEV. Yes... it’s a real thing. [Handling it] My dear and honoured case! + I congratulate you on your existence, which has already for more than a + hundred years been directed towards the bright ideals of good and + justice; your silent call to productive labour has not grown less in the + hundred years [Weeping] during which you have upheld virtue and faith in + a better future to the generations of our race, educating us up to + ideals of goodness and to the knowledge of a common consciousness. + [Pause.] + </p> + <p> + LOPAKHIN. Yes.... + </p> + <p> + LUBOV. You’re just the same as ever, Leon. + </p> + <p> + GAEV. [A little confused] Off the white on the right, into the corner + pocket. Red ball goes into the middle pocket! + </p> + <p> + LOPAKHIN. [Looks at his watch] It’s time I went. + </p> + <p> + YASHA. [Giving LUBOV ANDREYEVNA her medicine] Will you take your pills + now? + </p> + <p> + PISCHIN. You oughtn’t to take medicines, dear madam; they do you neither + harm nor good.... Give them here, dear madam. [Takes the pills, turns + them out into the palm of his hand, blows on them, puts them into his + mouth, and drinks some kvass] There! + </p> + <p> + LUBOV. [Frightened] You’re off your head! + </p> + <p> + PISCHIN. I’ve taken all the pills. + </p> + <p> + LOPAKHIN. Gormandizer! [All laugh.] + </p> + <p> + FIERS. They were here in Easter week and ate half a pailful of + cucumbers.... [Mumbles.] + </p> + <p> + LUBOV. What’s he driving at? + </p> + <p> + VARYA. He’s been mumbling away for three years. We’re used to that. + </p> + <p> + YASHA. Senile decay. + </p> + <p> + [CHARLOTTA IVANOVNA crosses the stage, dressed in white: she is very + thin and tightly laced; has a lorgnette at her waist.] + </p> + <p> + LOPAKHIN. Excuse me, Charlotta Ivanovna, I haven’t said “How do you do” + to you yet. [Tries to kiss her hand.] + </p> + <p> + CHARLOTTA. [Takes her hand away] If you let people kiss your hand, then + they’ll want your elbow, then your shoulder, and then... + </p> + <p> + LOPAKHIN. My luck’s out to-day! [All laugh] Show us a trick, Charlotta + Ivanovna! + </p> + <p> + LUBOV ANDREYEVNA. Charlotta, do us a trick. + </p> + <p> + CHARLOTTA. It’s not necessary. I want to go to bed. [Exit.] + </p> + <p> + LOPAKHIN. We shall see each other in three weeks. [Kisses LUBOV + ANDREYEVNA’S hand] Now, good-bye. It’s time to go. [To GAEV] See you + again. [Kisses PISCHIN] Au revoir. [Gives his hand to VARYA, then to + FIERS and to YASHA] I don’t want to go away. [To LUBOV ANDREYEVNA]. If + you think about the villas and make up your mind, then just let me know, + and I’ll raise a loan of 50,000 roubles at once. Think about it + seriously. + </p> + <p> + VARYA. [Angrily] Do go, now! + </p> + <p> + LOPAKHIN. I’m going, I’m going.... [Exit.] + </p> + <p> + GAEV. Snob. Still, I beg pardon.... Varya’s going to marry him, he’s + Varya’s young man. + </p> + <p> + VARYA. Don’t talk too much, uncle. + </p> + <p> + LUBOV. Why not, Varya? I should be very glad. He’s a good man. + </p> + <p> + PISCHIN. To speak the honest truth... he’s a worthy man.... And my + Dashenka... also says that... she says lots of things. [Snores, but + wakes up again at once] But still, dear madam, if you could lend me... + 240 roubles... to pay the interest on my mortgage to-morrow... + </p> + <p> + VARYA. [Frightened] We haven’t got it, we haven’t got it! + </p> + <p> + LUBOV. It’s quite true. I’ve nothing at all. + </p> + <p> + PISCHIN. I’ll find it all right [Laughs] I never lose hope. I used to + think, “Everything’s lost now. I’m a dead man,” when, lo and behold, a + railway was built over my land... and they paid me for it. And something + else will happen to-day or to-morrow. Dashenka may win 20,000 roubles... + she’s got a lottery ticket. + </p> + <p> + LUBOV. The coffee’s all gone, we can go to bed. + </p> + <p> + FIERS. [Brushing GAEV’S trousers; in an insistent tone] You’ve put on + the wrong trousers again. What am I to do with you? + </p> + <p> + VARYA. [Quietly] Anya’s asleep. [Opens window quietly] The sun has risen + already; it isn’t cold. Look, little mother: what lovely trees! And the + air! The starlings are singing! + </p> + <p> + GAEV. [Opens the other window] The whole garden’s white. You haven’t + forgotten, Luba? There’s that long avenue going straight, straight, like + a stretched strap; it shines on moonlight nights. Do you remember? You + haven’t forgotten? + </p> + <p> + LUBOV. [Looks out into the garden] Oh, my childhood, days of my + innocence! In this nursery I used to sleep; I used to look out from here + into the orchard. Happiness used to wake with me every morning, and then + it was just as it is now; nothing has changed. [Laughs from joy] It’s + all, all white! Oh, my orchard! After the dark autumns and the cold + winters, you’re young again, full of happiness, the angels of heaven + haven’t left you.... If only I could take my heavy burden off my breast + and shoulders, if I could forget my past! + </p> + <p> + GAEV. Yes, and they’ll sell this orchard to pay off debts. How strange + it seems! + </p> + <p> + LUBOV. Look, there’s my dead mother going in the orchard... dressed in + white! [Laughs from joy] That’s she. + </p> + <p> + GAEV. Where? + </p> + <p> + VARYA. God bless you, little mother. + </p> + <p> + LUBOV. There’s nobody there; I thought I saw somebody. On the right, at + the turning by the summer-house, a white little tree bent down, looking + just like a woman. [Enter TROFIMOV in a worn student uniform and + spectacles] What a marvellous garden! White masses of flowers, the blue + sky.... + </p> + <p> + TROFIMOV. Lubov Andreyevna! [She looks round at him] I only want to show + myself, and I’ll go away. [Kisses her hand warmly] I was told to wait + till the morning, but I didn’t have the patience. + </p> + <p> + [LUBOV ANDREYEVNA looks surprised.] + </p> + <p> + VARYA. [Crying] It’s Peter Trofimov. + </p> + <p> + TROFIMOV. Peter Trofimov, once the tutor of your Grisha.... Have I + changed so much? + </p> + <p> + [LUBOV ANDREYEVNA embraces him and cries softly.] + </p> + <p> + GAEV. [Confused] That’s enough, that’s enough, Luba. + </p> + <p> + VARYA. [Weeps] But I told you, Peter, to wait till to-morrow. + </p> + <p> + LUBOV. My Grisha... my boy... Grisha... my son. + </p> + <p> + VARYA. What are we to do, little mother? It’s the will of God. + </p> + <p> + TROFIMOV. [Softly, through his tears] It’s all right, it’s all right. + </p> + <p> + LUBOV. [Still weeping] My boy’s dead; he was drowned. Why? Why, my + friend? [Softly] Anya’s asleep in there. I am speaking so loudly, making + such a noise.... Well, Peter? What’s made you look so bad? Why have you + grown so old? + </p> + <p> + TROFIMOV. In the train an old woman called me a decayed gentleman. + </p> + <p> + LUBOV. You were quite a boy then, a nice little student, and now your + hair is not at all thick and you wear spectacles. Are you really still a + student? [Goes to the door.] + </p> + <p> + TROFIMOV. I suppose I shall always be a student. + </p> + <p> + LUBOV. [Kisses her brother, then VARYA] Well, let’s go to bed.... And + you’ve grown older, Leonid. + </p> + <p> + PISCHIN. [Follows her] Yes, we’ve got to go to bed.... Oh, my gout! I’ll + stay the night here. If only, Lubov Andreyevna, my dear, you could get + me 240 roubles to-morrow morning— + </p> + <p> + GAEV. Still the same story. + </p> + <p> + PISCHIN. Two hundred and forty roubles... to pay the interest on the + mortgage. + </p> + <p> + LUBOV. I haven’t any money, dear man. + </p> + <p> + PISCHIN. I’ll give it back... it’s a small sum.... + </p> + <p> + LUBOV. Well, then, Leonid will give it to you.... Let him have it, + Leonid. + </p> + <p> + GAEV. By all means; hold out your hand. + </p> + <p> + LUBOV. Why not? He wants it; he’ll give it back. + </p> + <p> + [LUBOV ANDREYEVNA, TROFIMOV, PISCHIN, and FIERS go out. GAEV, VARYA, and + YASHA remain.] + </p> + <p> + GAEV. My sister hasn’t lost the habit of throwing money about. [To + YASHA] Stand off, do; you smell of poultry. + </p> + <p> + YASHA. [Grins] You are just the same as ever, Leonid Andreyevitch. + </p> + <p> + GAEV. Really? [To VARYA] What’s he saying? + </p> + <p> + VARYA. [To YASHA] Your mother’s come from the village; she’s been + sitting in the servants’ room since yesterday, and wants to see you.... + </p> + <p> + YASHA. Bless the woman! + </p> + <p> + VARYA. Shameless man. + </p> + <p> + YASHA. A lot of use there is in her coming. She might have come tomorrow + just as well. [Exit.] + </p> + <p> + VARYA. Mother hasn’t altered a scrap, she’s just as she always was. + She’d give away everything, if the idea only entered her head. + </p> + <p> + GAEV. Yes.... [Pause] If there’s any illness for which people offer many + remedies, you may be sure that particular illness is incurable, I think. + I work my brains to their hardest. I’ve several remedies, very many, and + that really means I’ve none at all. It would be nice to inherit a + fortune from somebody, it would be nice to marry our Anya to a rich man, + it would be nice to go to Yaroslav and try my luck with my aunt the + Countess. My aunt is very, very rich. + </p> + <p> + VARYA. [Weeps] If only God helped us. + </p> + <p> + GAEV. Don’t cry. My aunt’s very rich, but she doesn’t like us. My + sister, in the first place, married an advocate, not a noble.... [ANYA + appears in the doorway] She not only married a man who was not a noble, + but she behaved herself in a way which cannot be described as proper. + She’s nice and kind and charming, and I’m very fond of her, but say what + you will in her favour and you still have to admit that she’s wicked; + you can feel it in her slightest movements. + </p> + <p> + VARYA. [Whispers] Anya’s in the doorway. + </p> + <p> + GAEV. Really? [Pause] It’s curious, something’s got into my right eye... + I can’t see properly out of it. And on Thursday, when I was at the + District Court... + </p> + <p> + [Enter ANYA.] + </p> + <p> + VARYA. Why aren’t you in bed, Anya? + </p> + <p> + ANYA. Can’t sleep. It’s no good. + </p> + <p> + GAEV. My darling! [Kisses ANYA’S face and hands] My child.... [Crying] + You’re not my niece, you’re my angel, you’re my all.... Believe in me, + believe... + </p> + <p> + ANYA. I do believe in you, uncle. Everybody loves you and respects + you... but, uncle dear, you ought to say nothing, no more than that. + What were you saying just now about my mother, your own sister? Why did + you say those things? + </p> + <p> + GAEV. Yes, yes. [Covers his face with her hand] Yes, really, it was + awful. Save me, my God! And only just now I made a speech before a + bookcase... it’s so silly! And only when I’d finished I knew how silly + it was. + </p> + <p> + VARYA. Yes, uncle dear, you really ought to say less. Keep quiet, that’s + all. + </p> + <p> + ANYA. You’d be so much happier in yourself if you only kept quiet. + </p> + <p> + GAEV. All right, I’ll be quiet. [Kisses their hands] I’ll be quiet. But + let’s talk business. On Thursday I was in the District Court, and a lot + of us met there together, and we began to talk of this, that, and the + other, and now I think I can arrange a loan to pay the interest into the + bank. + </p> + <p> + VARYA. If only God would help us! + </p> + <p> + GAEV. I’ll go on Tuesday. I’ll talk with them about it again. [To VARYA] + Don’t howl. [To ANYA] Your mother will have a talk to Lopakhin; he, of + course, won’t refuse... And when you’ve rested you’ll go to Yaroslav to + the Countess, your grandmother. So you see, we’ll have three irons in + the fire, and we’ll be safe. We’ll pay up the interest. I’m certain. + [Puts some sugar-candy into his mouth] I swear on my honour, on anything + you will, that the estate will not be sold! [Excitedly] I swear on my + happiness! Here’s my hand. You may call me a dishonourable wretch if I + let it go to auction! I swear by all I am! + </p> + <p> + ANYA. [She is calm again and happy] How good and clever you are, uncle. + [Embraces him] I’m happy now! I’m happy! All’s well! + </p> + <p> + [Enter FIERS.] + </p> + <p> + FIERS. [Reproachfully] Leonid Andreyevitch, don’t you fear God? When are + you going to bed? + </p> + <p> + GAEV. Soon, soon. You go away, Fiers. I’ll undress myself. Well, + children, bye-bye...! I’ll give you the details to-morrow, but let’s go + to bed now. [Kisses ANYA and VARYA] I’m a man of the eighties.... People + don’t praise those years much, but I can still say that I’ve suffered + for my beliefs. The peasants don’t love me for nothing, I assure you. + We’ve got to learn to know the peasants! We ought to learn how.... + </p> + <p> + ANYA. You’re doing it again, uncle! + </p> + <p> + VARYA. Be quiet, uncle! + </p> + <p> + FIERS. [Angrily] Leonid Andreyevitch! + </p> + <p> + GAEV. I’m coming, I’m coming.... Go to bed now. Off two cushions into + the middle! I turn over a new leaf.... [Exit. FIERS goes out after him.] + </p> + <p> + ANYA. I’m quieter now. I don’t want to go to Yaroslav, I don’t like + grandmother; but I’m calm now; thanks to uncle. [Sits down.] + </p> + <p> + VARYA. It’s time to go to sleep. I’ll go. There’s been an unpleasantness + here while you were away. In the old servants’ part of the house, as you + know, only the old people live—little old Efim and Polya and + Evstigney, and Karp as well. They started letting some tramps or other + spend the night there—I said nothing. Then I heard that they were + saying that I had ordered them to be fed on peas and nothing else; from + meanness, you see.... And it was all Evstigney’s doing.... Very well, I + thought, if that’s what the matter is, just you wait. So I call + Evstigney.... [Yawns] He comes. “What’s this,” I say, “Evstigney, you + old fool.”... [Looks at ANYA] Anya dear! [Pause] She’s dropped off.... + [Takes ANYA’S arm] Let’s go to bye-bye.... Come along!... [Leads her] My + darling’s gone to sleep! Come on.... [They go. In the distance, the + other side of the orchard, a shepherd plays his pipe. TROFIMOV crosses + the stage and stops on seeing VARYA and ANYA] Sh! She’s asleep, asleep. + Come on, dear. + </p> + <p> + ANYA. [Quietly, half-asleep] I’m so tired... all the bells... uncle, + dear! Mother and uncle! + </p> + <p> + VARYA. Come on, dear, come on! [They go into ANYA’S room.] + </p> + <p> + TROFIMOV. [Moved] My sun! My spring! + </p> + <p> + Curtain. + </p> + <a name="link2H_4_0015" id="link2H_4_0015"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + ACT TWO + </h2> + <p> + [In a field. An old, crooked shrine, which has been long abandoned; near + it a well and large stones, which apparently are old tombstones, and an + old garden seat. The road is seen to GAEV’S estate. On one side rise + dark poplars, behind them begins the cherry orchard. In the distance is + a row of telegraph poles, and far, far away on the horizon are the + indistinct signs of a large town, which can only be seen on the finest + and clearest days. It is close on sunset. CHARLOTTA, YASHA, and DUNYASHA + are sitting on the seat; EPIKHODOV stands by and plays on a guitar; all + seem thoughtful. CHARLOTTA wears a man’s old peaked cap; she has unslung + a rifle from her shoulders and is putting to rights the buckle on the + strap.] + </p> + <p> + CHARLOTTA. [Thoughtfully] I haven’t a real passport. I don’t know how + old I am, and I think I’m young. When I was a little girl my father and + mother used to go round fairs and give very good performances and I used + to do the <i>salto mortale</i> and various little things. And when papa + and mamma died a German lady took me to her and began to teach me. I + liked it. I grew up and became a governess. And where I came from and + who I am, I don’t know.... Who my parents were—perhaps they + weren’t married—I don’t know. [Takes a cucumber out of her pocket + and eats] I don’t know anything. [Pause] I do want to talk, but I + haven’t anybody to talk to... I haven’t anybody at all. + </p> + <p> + EPIKHODOV. [Plays on the guitar and sings] + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + “What is this noisy earth to me, + What matter friends and foes?” + I do like playing on the mandoline! +</pre> + <p> + DUNYASHA. That’s a guitar, not a mandoline. [Looks at herself in a + little mirror and powders herself.] + </p> + <p> + EPIKHODOV. For the enamoured madman, this is a mandoline. [Sings] + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + “Oh that the heart was warmed, + By all the flames of love returned!” + </pre> + <p> + [YASHA sings too.] + </p> + <p> + CHARLOTTA. These people sing terribly.... Foo! Like jackals. + </p> + <p> + DUNYASHA. [To YASHA] Still, it must be nice to live abroad. + </p> + <p> + YASHA. Yes, certainly. I cannot differ from you there. [Yawns and lights + a cigar.] + </p> + <p> + EPIKHODOV. That is perfectly natural. Abroad everything is in full + complexity. + </p> + <p> + YASHA. That goes without saying. + </p> + <p> + EPIKHODOV. I’m an educated man, I read various remarkable books, but I + cannot understand the direction I myself want to go—whether to + live or to shoot myself, as it were. So, in case, I always carry a + revolver about with me. Here it is. [Shows a revolver.] + </p> + <p> + CHARLOTTA. I’ve done. Now I’ll go. [Slings the rifle] You, Epikhodov, + are a very clever man and very terrible; women must be madly in love + with you. Brrr! [Going] These wise ones are all so stupid. I’ve nobody + to talk to. I’m always alone, alone; I’ve nobody at all... and I don’t + know who I am or why I live. [Exit slowly.] + </p> + <p> + EPIKHODOV. As a matter of fact, independently of everything else, I must + express my feeling, among other things, that fate has been as pitiless + in her dealings with me as a storm is to a small ship. Suppose, let us + grant, I am wrong; then why did I wake up this morning, to give an + example, and behold an enormous spider on my chest, like that. [Shows + with both hands] And if I do drink some kvass, why is it that there is + bound to be something of the most indelicate nature in it, such as a + beetle? [Pause] Have you read Buckle? [Pause] I should like to trouble + you, Avdotya Fedorovna, for two words. + </p> + <p> + DUNYASHA. Say on. + </p> + <p> + EPIKHODOV. I should prefer to be alone with you. [Sighs.] + </p> + <p> + DUNYASHA. [Shy] Very well, only first bring me my little cloak.... It’s + by the cupboard. It’s a little damp here. + </p> + <p> + EPIKHODOV. Very well... I’ll bring it.... Now I know what to do with my + revolver. [Takes guitar and exits, strumming.] + </p> + <p> + YASHA. Two-and-twenty troubles! A silly man, between you and me and the + gatepost. [Yawns.] + </p> + <p> + DUNYASHA. I hope to goodness he won’t shoot himself. [Pause] I’m so + nervous, I’m worried. I went into service when I was quite a little + girl, and now I’m not used to common life, and my hands are white, white + as a lady’s. I’m so tender and so delicate now; respectable and afraid + of everything.... I’m so frightened. And I don’t know what will happen + to my nerves if you deceive me, Yasha. + </p> + <p> + YASHA. [Kisses her] Little cucumber! Of course, every girl must respect + herself; there’s nothing I dislike more than a badly behaved girl. + </p> + <p> + DUNYASHA. I’m awfully in love with you; you’re educated, you can talk + about everything. [Pause.] + </p> + <p> + YASHA. [Yawns] Yes. I think this: if a girl loves anybody, then that + means she’s immoral. [Pause] It’s nice to smoke a cigar out in the open + air.... [Listens] Somebody’s coming. It’s the mistress, and people with + her. [DUNYASHA embraces him suddenly] Go to the house, as if you’d been + bathing in the river; go by this path, or they’ll meet you and will + think I’ve been meeting you. I can’t stand that sort of thing. + </p> + <p> + DUNYASHA. [Coughs quietly] My head’s aching because of your cigar. + </p> + <p> + [Exit. YASHA remains, sitting by the shrine. Enter LUBOV ANDREYEVNA, + GAEV, and LOPAKHIN.] + </p> + <p> + LOPAKHIN. You must make up your mind definitely—there’s no time to + waste. The question is perfectly plain. Are you willing to let the land + for villas or no? Just one word, yes or no? Just one word! + </p> + <p> + LUBOV. Who’s smoking horrible cigars here? [Sits.] + </p> + <p> + GAEV. They built that railway; that’s made this place very handy. [Sits] + Went to town and had lunch... red in the middle! I’d like to go in now + and have just one game. + </p> + <p> + LUBOV. You’ll have time. + </p> + <p> + LOPAKHIN. Just one word! [Imploringly] Give me an answer! + </p> + <p> + GAEV. [Yawns] Really! + </p> + <p> + LUBOV. [Looks in her purse] I had a lot of money yesterday, but there’s + very little to-day. My poor Varya feeds everybody on milk soup to save + money, in the kitchen the old people only get peas, and I spend + recklessly. [Drops the purse, scattering gold coins] There, they are all + over the place. + </p> + <p> + YASHA. Permit me to pick them up. [Collects the coins.] + </p> + <p> + LUBOV. Please do, Yasha. And why did I go and have lunch there?... A + horrid restaurant with band and tablecloths smelling of soap.... Why do + you drink so much, Leon? Why do you eat so much? Why do you talk so + much? You talked again too much to-day in the restaurant, and it wasn’t + at all to the point—about the seventies and about decadents. And + to whom? Talking to the waiters about decadents! + </p> + <p> + LOPAKHIN. Yes. + </p> + <p> + GAEV. [Waves his hand] I can’t be cured, that’s obvious.... [Irritably + to YASHA] What’s the matter? Why do you keep twisting about in front of + me? + </p> + <p> + YASHA. [Laughs] I can’t listen to your voice without laughing. + </p> + <p> + GAEV. [To his sister] Either he or I... + </p> + <p> + LUBOV. Go away, Yasha; get out of this.... + </p> + <p> + YASHA. [Gives purse to LUBOV ANDREYEVNA] I’ll go at once. [Hardly able + to keep from laughing] This minute.... [Exit.] + </p> + <p> + LOPAKHIN. That rich man Deriganov is preparing to buy your estate. They + say he’ll come to the sale himself. + </p> + <p> + LUBOV. Where did you hear that? + </p> + <p> + LOPAKHIN. They say so in town. + </p> + <p> + GAEV. Our Yaroslav aunt has promised to send something, but I don’t know + when or how much. + </p> + <p> + LOPAKHIN. How much will she send? A hundred thousand roubles? Or two, + perhaps? + </p> + <p> + LUBOV. I’d be glad of ten or fifteen thousand. + </p> + <p> + LOPAKHIN. You must excuse my saying so, but I’ve never met such + frivolous people as you before, or anybody so unbusinesslike and + peculiar. Here I am telling you in plain language that your estate will + be sold, and you don’t seem to understand. + </p> + <p> + LUBOV. What are we to do? Tell us, what? + </p> + <p> + LOPAKHIN. I tell you every day. I say the same thing every day. Both the + cherry orchard and the land must be leased off for villas and at once, + immediately—the auction is staring you in the face: Understand! + Once you do definitely make up your minds to the villas, then you’ll + have as much money as you want and you’ll be saved. + </p> + <p> + LUBOV. Villas and villa residents—it’s so vulgar, excuse me. + </p> + <p> + GAEV. I entirely agree with you. + </p> + <p> + LOPAKHIN. I must cry or yell or faint. I can’t stand it! You’re too much + for me! [To GAEV] You old woman! + </p> + <p> + GAEV. Really! + </p> + <p> + LOPAKHIN. Old woman! [Going out.] + </p> + <p> + LUBOV. [Frightened] No, don’t go away, do stop; be a dear. Please. + Perhaps we’ll find some way out! + </p> + <p> + LOPAKHIN. What’s the good of trying to think! + </p> + <p> + LUBOV. Please don’t go away. It’s nicer when you’re here.... [Pause] I + keep on waiting for something to happen, as if the house is going to + collapse over our heads. + </p> + <p> + GAEV. [Thinking deeply] Double in the corner... across the middle.... + </p> + <p> + LUBOV. We have been too sinful.... + </p> + <p> + LOPAKHIN. What sins have you committed? + </p> + <p> + GAEV. [Puts candy into his mouth] They say that I’ve eaten all my + substance in sugar-candies. [Laughs.] + </p> + <p> + LUBOV. Oh, my sins.... I’ve always scattered money about without holding + myself in, like a madwoman, and I married a man who made nothing but + debts. My husband died of champagne—he drank terribly—and to + my misfortune, I fell in love with another man and went off with him, + and just at that time—it was my first punishment, a blow that hit + me right on the head—here, in the river... my boy was drowned, and + I went away, quite away, never to return, never to see this river + again...I shut my eyes and ran without thinking, but <i>he</i> ran after + me... without pity, without respect. I bought a villa near Mentone + because <i>he</i> fell ill there, and for three years I knew no rest + either by day or night; the sick man wore me out, and my soul dried up. + And last year, when they had sold the villa to pay my debts, I went away + to Paris, and there he robbed me of all I had and threw me over and went + off with another woman. I tried to poison myself.... It was so silly, so + shameful.... And suddenly I longed to be back in Russia, my own land, + with my little girl.... [Wipes her tears] Lord, Lord be merciful to me, + forgive me my sins! Punish me no more! [Takes a telegram out of her + pocket] I had this to-day from Paris.... He begs my forgiveness, he + implores me to return.... [Tears it up] Don’t I hear music? [Listens.] + </p> + <p> + GAEV. That is our celebrated Jewish band. You remember—four + violins, a flute, and a double-bass. + </p> + <p> + LUBOV So it still exists? It would be nice if they came along some + evening. + </p> + <p> + LOPAKHIN. [Listens] I can’t hear.... [Sings quietly] “For money will the + Germans make a Frenchman of a Russian.” [Laughs] I saw such an awfully + funny thing at the theatre last night. + </p> + <p> + LUBOV. I’m quite sure there wasn’t anything at all funny. You oughtn’t + to go and see plays, you ought to go and look at yourself. What a grey + life you lead, what a lot you talk unnecessarily. + </p> + <p> + LOPAKHIN. It’s true. To speak the straight truth, we live a silly life. + [Pause] My father was a peasant, an idiot, he understood nothing, he + didn’t teach me, he was always drunk, and always used a stick on me. In + point of fact, I’m a fool and an idiot too. I’ve never learned anything, + my handwriting is bad, I write so that I’m quite ashamed before people, + like a pig! + </p> + <p> + LUBOV. You ought to get married, my friend. + </p> + <p> + LOPAKHIN. Yes... that’s true. + </p> + <p> + LUBOV. Why not to our Varya? She’s a nice girl. + </p> + <p> + LOPAKHIN. Yes. + </p> + <p> + LUBOV. She’s quite homely in her ways, works all day, and, what matters + most, she’s in love with you. And you’ve liked her for a long time. + </p> + <p> + LOPAKHIN. Well? I don’t mind... she’s a nice girl. [Pause.] + </p> + <p> + GAEV. I’m offered a place in a bank. Six thousand roubles a year.... Did + you hear? + </p> + <p> + LUBOV. What’s the matter with you! Stay where you are.... + </p> + <p> + [Enter FIERS with an overcoat.] + </p> + <p> + FIERS. [To GAEV] Please, sir, put this on, it’s damp. + </p> + <p> + GAEV. [Putting it on] You’re a nuisance, old man. + </p> + <p> + FIERS It’s all very well.... You went away this morning without telling + me. [Examining GAEV.] + </p> + <p> + LUBOV. How old you’ve grown, Fiers! + </p> + <p> + FIERS. I beg your pardon? + </p> + <p> + LOPAKHIN. She says you’ve grown very old! + </p> + <p> + FIERS. I’ve been alive a long time. They were already getting ready to + marry me before your father was born.... [Laughs] And when the + Emancipation came I was already first valet. Only I didn’t agree with + the Emancipation and remained with my people.... [Pause] I remember + everybody was happy, but they didn’t know why. + </p> + <p> + LOPAKHIN. It was very good for them in the old days. At any rate, they + used to beat them. + </p> + <p> + FIERS. [Not hearing] Rather. The peasants kept their distance from the + masters and the masters kept their distance from the peasants, but now + everything’s all anyhow and you can’t understand anything. + </p> + <p> + GAEV. Be quiet, Fiers. I’ve got to go to town tomorrow. I’ve been + promised an introduction to a General who may lend me money on a bill. + </p> + <p> + LOPAKHIN. Nothing will come of it. And you won’t pay your interest, + don’t you worry. + </p> + <p> + LUBOV. He’s talking rubbish. There’s no General at all. + </p> + <p> + [Enter TROFIMOV, ANYA, and VARYA.] + </p> + <p> + GAEV. Here they are. + </p> + <p> + ANYA. Mother’s sitting down here. + </p> + <p> + LUBOV. [Tenderly] Come, come, my dears.... [Embracing ANYA and VARYA] If + you two only knew how much I love you. Sit down next to me, like that. + [All sit down.] + </p> + <p> + LOPAKHIN. Our eternal student is always with the ladies. + </p> + <p> + TROFIMOV. That’s not your business. + </p> + <p> + LOPAKHIN. He’ll soon be fifty, and he’s still a student. + </p> + <p> + TROFIMOV. Leave off your silly jokes! + </p> + <p> + LOPAKHIN. Getting angry, eh, silly? + </p> + <p> + TROFIMOV. Shut up, can’t you. + </p> + <p> + LOPAKHIN. [Laughs] I wonder what you think of me? + </p> + <p> + TROFIMOV. I think, Ermolai Alexeyevitch, that you’re a rich man, and + you’ll soon be a millionaire. Just as the wild beast which eats + everything it finds is needed for changes to take place in matter, so + you are needed too. + </p> + <p> + [All laugh.] + </p> + <p> + VARYA. Better tell us something about the planets, Peter. + </p> + <p> + LUBOV ANDREYEVNA. No, let’s go on with yesterday’s talk! + </p> + <p> + TROFIMOV. About what? + </p> + <p> + GAEV. About the proud man. + </p> + <p> + TROFIMOV. Yesterday we talked for a long time but we didn’t come to + anything in the end. There’s something mystical about the proud man, in + your sense. Perhaps you are right from your point of view, but if you + take the matter simply, without complicating it, then what pride can + there be, what sense can there be in it, if a man is imperfectly made, + physiologically speaking, if in the vast majority of cases he is coarse + and stupid and deeply unhappy? We must stop admiring one another. We + must work, nothing more. + </p> + <p> + GAEV. You’ll die, all the same. + </p> + <p> + TROFIMOV. Who knows? And what does it mean—you’ll die? Perhaps a + man has a hundred senses, and when he dies only the five known to us are + destroyed and the remaining ninety-five are left alive. + </p> + <p> + LUBOV. How clever of you, Peter! + </p> + <p> + LOPAKHIN. [Ironically] Oh, awfully! + </p> + <p> + TROFIMOV. The human race progresses, perfecting its powers. Everything + that is unattainable now will some day be near at hand and + comprehensible, but we must work, we must help with all our strength + those who seek to know what fate will bring. Meanwhile in Russia only a + very few of us work. The vast majority of those intellectuals whom I + know seek for nothing, do nothing, and are at present incapable of hard + work. They call themselves intellectuals, but they use “thou” and “thee” + to their servants, they treat the peasants like animals, they learn + badly, they read nothing seriously, they do absolutely nothing, about + science they only talk, about art they understand little. They are all + serious, they all have severe faces, they all talk about important + things. They philosophize, and at the same time, the vast majority of + us, ninety-nine out of a hundred, live like savages, fighting and + cursing at the slightest opportunity, eating filthily, sleeping in the + dirt, in stuffiness, with fleas, stinks, smells, moral filth, and so + on... And it’s obvious that all our nice talk is only carried on to + distract ourselves and others. Tell me, where are those créches we hear + so much of? and where are those reading-rooms? People only write novels + about them; they don’t really exist. Only dirt, vulgarity, and Asiatic + plagues really exist.... I’m afraid, and I don’t at all like serious + faces; I don’t like serious conversations. Let’s be quiet sooner. + </p> + <p> + LOPAKHIN. You know, I get up at five every morning, I work from morning + till evening, I am always dealing with money—my own and other + people’s—and I see what people are like. You’ve only got to begin + to do anything to find out how few honest, honourable people there are. + Sometimes, when I can’t sleep, I think: “Oh Lord, you’ve given us huge + forests, infinite fields, and endless horizons, and we, living here, + ought really to be giants.” + </p> + <p> + LUBOV. You want giants, do you?... They’re only good in stories, and + even there they frighten one. [EPIKHODOV enters at the back of the stage + playing his guitar. Thoughtfully:] Epikhodov’s there. + </p> + <p> + ANYA. [Thoughtfully] Epikhodov’s there. + </p> + <p> + GAEV. The sun’s set, ladies and gentlemen. + </p> + <p> + TROFIMOV. Yes. + </p> + <p> + GAEV [Not loudly, as if declaiming] O Nature, thou art wonderful, thou + shinest with eternal radiance! Oh, beautiful and indifferent one, thou + whom we call mother, thou containest in thyself existence and death, + thou livest and destroyest.... + </p> + <p> + VARYA. [Entreatingly] Uncle, dear! + </p> + <p> + ANYA. Uncle, you’re doing it again! + </p> + <p> + TROFIMOV. You’d better double the red into the middle. + </p> + <p> + GAEV. I’ll be quiet, I’ll be quiet. + </p> + <p> + [They all sit thoughtfully. It is quiet. Only the mumbling of FIERS is + heard. Suddenly a distant sound is heard as if from the sky, the sound + of a breaking string, which dies away sadly.] + </p> + <p> + LUBOV. What’s that? + </p> + <p> + LOPAKHIN. I don’t know. It may be a bucket fallen down a well somewhere. + But it’s some way off. + </p> + <p> + GAEV. Or perhaps it’s some bird... like a heron. + </p> + <p> + TROFIMOV. Or an owl. + </p> + <p> + LUBOV. [Shudders] It’s unpleasant, somehow. [A pause.] + </p> + <p> + FIERS. Before the misfortune the same thing happened. An owl screamed + and the samovar hummed without stopping. + </p> + <p> + GAEV. Before what misfortune? + </p> + <p> + FIERS. Before the Emancipation. [A pause.] + </p> + <p> + LUBOV. You know, my friends, let’s go in; it’s evening now. [To ANYA] + You’ve tears in your eyes.... What is it, little girl? [Embraces her.] + </p> + <p> + ANYA. It’s nothing, mother. + </p> + <p> + TROFIMOV. Some one’s coming. + </p> + <p> + [Enter a TRAMP in an old white peaked cap and overcoat. He is a little + drunk.] + </p> + <p> + TRAMP. Excuse me, may I go this way straight through to the station? + </p> + <p> + GAEV. You may. Go along this path. + </p> + <p> + TRAMP. I thank you from the bottom of my heart. [Hiccups] Lovely + weather.... [Declaims] My brother, my suffering brother.... Come out on + the Volga, you whose groans... [To VARYA] Mademoiselle, please give a + hungry Russian thirty copecks.... + </p> + <p> + [VARYA screams, frightened.] + </p> + <p> + LOPAKHIN. [Angrily] There’s manners everybody’s got to keep! + </p> + <p> + LUBOV. [With a start] Take this... here you are.... [Feels in her purse] + There’s no silver.... It doesn’t matter, here’s gold. + </p> + <p> + TRAMP. I am deeply grateful to you! [Exit. Laughter.] + </p> + <p> + VARYA. [Frightened] I’m going, I’m going.... Oh, little mother, at home + there’s nothing for the servants to eat, and you gave him gold. + </p> + <p> + LUBOV. What is to be done with such a fool as I am! At home I’ll give + you everything I’ve got. Ermolai Alexeyevitch, lend me some more!... + </p> + <p> + LOPAKHIN. Very well. + </p> + <p> + LUBOV. Let’s go, it’s time. And Varya, we’ve settled your affair; I + congratulate you. + </p> + <p> + VARYA. [Crying] You shouldn’t joke about this, mother. + </p> + <p> + LOPAKHIN. Oh, feel me, get thee to a nunnery. + </p> + <p> + GAEV. My hands are all trembling; I haven’t played billiards for a long + time. + </p> + <p> + LOPAKHIN. Oh, feel me, nymph, remember me in thine orisons. + </p> + <p> + LUBOV. Come along; it’ll soon be supper-time. + </p> + <p> + VARYA. He did frighten me. My heart is beating hard. + </p> + <p> + LOPAKHIN. Let me remind you, ladies and gentlemen, on August 22 the + cherry orchard will be sold. Think of that!... Think of that!... + </p> + <p> + [All go out except TROFIMOV and ANYA.] + </p> + <p> + ANYA. [Laughs] Thanks to the tramp who frightened Barbara, we’re alone + now. + </p> + <p> + TROFIMOV. Varya’s afraid we may fall in love with each other and won’t + get away from us for days on end. Her narrow mind won’t allow her to + understand that we are above love. To escape all the petty and deceptive + things which prevent our being happy and free, that is the aim and + meaning of our lives. Forward! We go irresistibly on to that bright star + which burns there, in the distance! Don’t lag behind, friends! + </p> + <p> + ANYA. [Clapping her hands] How beautifully you talk! [Pause] It is + glorious here to-day! + </p> + <p> + TROFIMOV. Yes, the weather is wonderful. + </p> + <p> + ANYA. What have you done to me, Peter? I don’t love the cherry orchard + as I used to. I loved it so tenderly, I thought there was no better + place in the world than our orchard. + </p> + <p> + TROFIMOV. All Russia is our orchard. The land is great and beautiful, + there are many marvellous places in it. [Pause] Think, Anya, your + grandfather, your great-grandfather, and all your ancestors were + serf-owners, they owned living souls; and now, doesn’t something human + look at you from every cherry in the orchard, every leaf and every + stalk? Don’t you hear voices...? Oh, it’s awful, your orchard is + terrible; and when in the evening or at night you walk through the + orchard, then the old bark on the trees sheds a dim light and the old + cherry-trees seem to be dreaming of all that was a hundred, two hundred + years ago, and are oppressed by their heavy visions. Still, at any rate, + we’ve left those two hundred years behind us. So far we’ve gained + nothing at all—we don’t yet know what the past is to be to us—we + only philosophize, we complain that we are dull, or we drink vodka. For + it’s so clear that in order to begin to live in the present we must + first redeem the past, and that can only be done by suffering, by + strenuous, uninterrupted labour. Understand that, Anya. + </p> + <p> + ANYA. The house in which we live has long ceased to be our house; I + shall go away. I give you my word. + </p> + <p> + TROFIMOV. If you have the housekeeping keys, throw them down the well + and go away. Be as free as the wind. + </p> + <p> + ANYA. [Enthusiastically] How nicely you said that! + </p> + <p> + TROFIMOV. Believe me, Anya, believe me! I’m not thirty yet, I’m young, + I’m still a student, but I have undergone a great deal! I’m as hungry as + the winter, I’m ill, I’m shaken. I’m as poor as a beggar, and where + haven’t I been—fate has tossed me everywhere! But my soul is + always my own; every minute of the day and the night it is filled with + unspeakable presentiments. I know that happiness is coming, Anya, I see + it already.... + </p> + <p> + ANYA. [Thoughtful] The moon is rising. + </p> + <p> + [EPIKHODOV is heard playing the same sad song on his guitar. The moon + rises. Somewhere by the poplars VARYA is looking for ANYA and calling, + “Anya, where are you?”] + </p> + <p> + TROFIMOV. Yes, the moon has risen. [Pause] There is happiness, there it + comes; it comes nearer and nearer; I hear its steps already. And if we + do not see it we shall not know it, but what does that matter? Others + will see it! + </p> + <p> + THE VOICE OF VARYA. Anya! Where are you? + </p> + <p> + TROFIMOV. That’s Varya again! [Angry] Disgraceful! + </p> + <p> + ANYA. Never mind. Let’s go to the river. It’s nice there. + </p> + <p> + TROFIMOV Let’s go. [They go out.] + </p> + <p> + THE VOICE OF VARYA. Anya! Anya! + </p> + <p> + Curtain. + </p> + <a name="link2H_4_0016" id="link2H_4_0016"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + ACT THREE + </h2> + <p> + [A reception-room cut off from a drawing-room by an arch. Chandelier + lighted. A Jewish band, the one mentioned in Act II, is heard playing in + another room. Evening. In the drawing-room the grand rond is being + danced. Voice of SIMEONOV PISCHIN “Promenade a une paire!” Dancers come + into the reception-room; the first pair are PISCHIN and CHARLOTTA + IVANOVNA; the second, TROFIMOV and LUBOV ANDREYEVNA; the third, ANYA and + the POST OFFICE CLERK; the fourth, VARYA and the STATION-MASTER, and so + on. VARYA is crying gently and wipes away her tears as she dances. + DUNYASHA is in the last pair. They go off into the drawing-room, PISCHIN + shouting, “Grand rond, balancez:” and “Les cavaliers à genou et + remerciez vos dames!” FIERS, in a dress-coat, carries a tray with + seltzer-water across. Enter PISCHIN and TROFIMOV from the drawing-room.] + </p> + <p> + PISCHIN. I’m full-blooded and have already had two strokes; it’s hard + for me to dance, but, as they say, if you’re in Rome, you must do as + Rome does. I’ve got the strength of a horse. My dead father, who liked a + joke, peace to his bones, used to say, talking of our ancestors, that + the ancient stock of the Simeonov-Pischins was descended from that + identical horse that Caligula made a senator.... [Sits] But the trouble + is, I’ve no money! A hungry dog only believes in meat. [Snores and wakes + up again immediately] So I... only believe in money.... + </p> + <p> + TROFIMOV. Yes. There is something equine about your figure. + </p> + <p> + PISCHIN. Well... a horse is a fine animal... you can sell a horse. + </p> + <p> + [Billiard playing can be heard in the next room. VARYA appears under the + arch.] + </p> + <p> + TROFIMOV. [Teasing] Madame Lopakhin! Madame Lopakhin! + </p> + <p> + VARYA. [Angry] Decayed gentleman! + </p> + <p> + TROFIMOV. Yes, I am a decayed gentleman, and I’m proud of it! + </p> + <p> + VARYA. [Bitterly] We’ve hired the musicians, but how are they to be + paid? [Exit.] + </p> + <p> + TROFIMOV. [To PISCHIN] If the energy which you, in the course of your + life, have spent in looking for money to pay interest had been used for + something else, then, I believe, after all, you’d be able to turn + everything upside down. + </p> + <p> + PISCHIN. Nietzsche... a philosopher... a very great, a most celebrated + man... a man of enormous brain, says in his books that you can forge + bank-notes. + </p> + <p> + TROFIMOV. And have you read Nietzsche? + </p> + <p> + PISCHIN. Well... Dashenka told me. Now I’m in such a position, I + wouldn’t mind forging them... I’ve got to pay 310 roubles the day after + to-morrow... I’ve got 130 already.... [Feels his pockets, nervously] + I’ve lost the money! The money’s gone! [Crying] Where’s the money? + [Joyfully] Here it is behind the lining... I even began to perspire. + </p> + <p> + [Enter LUBOV ANDREYEVNA and CHARLOTTA IVANOVNA.] + </p> + <p> + LUBOV. [Humming a Caucasian dance] Why is Leonid away so long? What’s he + doing in town? [To DUNYASHA] Dunyasha, give the musicians some tea. + </p> + <p> + TROFIMOV. Business is off, I suppose. + </p> + <p> + LUBOV. And the musicians needn’t have come, and we needn’t have got up + this ball.... Well, never mind.... [Sits and sings softly.] + </p> + <p> + CHARLOTTA. [Gives a pack of cards to PISCHIN] Here’s a pack of cards, + think of any one card you like. + </p> + <p> + PISCHIN. I’ve thought of one. + </p> + <p> + CHARLOTTA. Now shuffle. All right, now. Give them here, oh my dear Mr. + Pischin. <i>Ein, zwei, drei</i>! Now look and you’ll find it in your + coat-tail pocket. + </p> + <p> + PISCHIN. [Takes a card out of his coat-tail pocket] Eight of spades, + quite right! [Surprised] Think of that now! + </p> + <p> + CHARLOTTA. [Holds the pack of cards on the palm of her hand. To + TROFIMOV] Now tell me quickly. What’s the top card? + </p> + <p> + TROFIMOV. Well, the queen of spades. + </p> + <p> + CHARLOTTA. Right! [To PISCHIN] Well now? What card’s on top? + </p> + <p> + PISCHIN. Ace of hearts. + </p> + <p> + CHARLOTTA. Right! [Claps her hands, the pack of cards vanishes] How + lovely the weather is to-day. [A mysterious woman’s voice answers her, + as if from under the floor, “Oh yes, it’s lovely weather, madam.”] You + are so beautiful, you are my ideal. [Voice, “You, madam, please me very + much too.”] + </p> + <p> + STATION-MASTER. [Applauds] Madame ventriloquist, bravo! + </p> + <p> + PISCHIN. [Surprised] Think of that, now! Delightful, Charlotte + Ivanovna... I’m simply in love.... + </p> + <p> + CHARLOTTA. In love? [Shrugging her shoulders] Can you love? <i>Guter + Mensch aber schlechter Musikant</i>. + </p> + <p> + TROFIMOV. [Slaps PISCHIN on the shoulder] Oh, you horse! + </p> + <p> + CHARLOTTA. Attention please, here’s another trick. [Takes a shawl from a + chair] Here’s a very nice plaid shawl, I’m going to sell it.... [Shakes + it] Won’t anybody buy it? + </p> + <p> + PISCHIN. [Astonished] Think of that now! + </p> + <p> + CHARLOTTA. <i>Ein, zwei, drei</i>. + </p> + <p> + [She quickly lifts up the shawl, which is hanging down. ANYA is standing + behind it; she bows and runs to her mother, hugs her and runs back to + the drawing-room amid general applause.] + </p> + <p> + LUBOV. [Applauds] Bravo, bravo! + </p> + <p> + CHARLOTTA. Once again! <i>Ein, zwei, drei</i>! + </p> + <p> + [Lifts the shawl. VARYA stands behind it and bows.] + </p> + <p> + PISCHIN. [Astonished] Think of that, now. + </p> + <p> + CHARLOTTA. The end! + </p> + <p> + [Throws the shawl at PISCHIN, curtseys and runs into the drawing-room.] + </p> + <p> + PISCHIN. [Runs after her] Little wretch.... What? Would you? [Exit.] + </p> + <p> + LUBOV. Leonid hasn’t come yet. I don’t understand what he’s doing so + long in town! Everything must be over by now. The estate must be sold; + or, if the sale never came off, then why does he stay so long? + </p> + <p> + VARYA. [Tries to soothe her] Uncle has bought it. I’m certain of it. + </p> + <p> + TROFIMOV. [Sarcastically] Oh, yes! + </p> + <p> + VARYA. Grandmother sent him her authority for him to buy it in her name + and transfer the debt to her. She’s doing it for Anya. And I’m certain + that God will help us and uncle will buy it. + </p> + <p> + LUBOV. Grandmother sent fifteen thousand roubles from Yaroslav to buy + the property in her name—she won’t trust us—and that wasn’t + even enough to pay the interest. [Covers her face with her hands] My + fate will be settled to-day, my fate.... + </p> + <p> + TROFIMOV. [Teasing VARYA] Madame Lopakhin! + </p> + <p> + VARYA. [Angry] Eternal student! He’s already been expelled twice from + the university. + </p> + <p> + LUBOV. Why are you getting angry, Varya? He’s teasing you about + Lopakhin, well what of it? You can marry Lopakhin if you want to, he’s a + good, interesting man.... You needn’t if you don’t want to; nobody wants + to force you against your will, my darling. + </p> + <p> + VARYA. I do look at the matter seriously, little mother, to be quite + frank. He’s a good man, and I like him. + </p> + <p> + LUBOV. Then marry him. I don’t understand what you’re waiting for. + </p> + <p> + VARYA. I can’t propose to him myself, little mother. People have been + talking about him to me for two years now, but he either says nothing, + or jokes about it. I understand. He’s getting rich, he’s busy, he can’t + bother about me. If I had some money, even a little, even only a hundred + roubles, I’d throw up everything and go away. I’d go into a convent. + </p> + <p> + TROFIMOV. How nice! + </p> + <p> + VARYA. [To TROFIMOV] A student ought to have sense! [Gently, in tears] + How ugly you are now, Peter, how old you’ve grown! [To LUBOV ANDREYEVNA, + no longer crying] But I can’t go on without working, little mother. I + want to be doing something every minute. + </p> + <p> + [Enter YASHA.] + </p> + <p> + YASHA. [Nearly laughing] Epikhodov’s broken a billiard cue! [Exit.] + </p> + <p> + VARYA. Why is Epikhodov here? Who said he could play billiards? I don’t + understand these people. [Exit.] + </p> + <p> + LUBOV. Don’t tease her, Peter, you see that she’s quite unhappy without + that. + </p> + <p> + TROFIMOV. She takes too much on herself, she keeps on interfering in + other people’s business. The whole summer she’s given no peace to me or + to Anya, she’s afraid we’ll have a romance all to ourselves. What has it + to do with her? As if I’d ever given her grounds to believe I’d stoop to + such vulgarity! We are above love. + </p> + <p> + LUBOV. Then I suppose I must be beneath love. [In agitation] Why isn’t + Leonid here? If I only knew whether the estate is sold or not! The + disaster seems to me so improbable that I don’t know what to think, I’m + all at sea... I may scream... or do something silly. Save me, Peter. Say + something, say something. + </p> + <p> + TROFIMOV. Isn’t it all the same whether the estate is sold to-day or + isn’t? It’s been all up with it for a long time; there’s no turning + back, the path’s grown over. Be calm, dear, you shouldn’t deceive + yourself, for once in your life at any rate you must look the truth + straight in the face. + </p> + <p> + LUBOV. What truth? You see where truth is, and where untruth is, but I + seem to have lost my sight and see nothing. You boldly settle all + important questions, but tell me, dear, isn’t it because you’re young, + because you haven’t had time to suffer till you settled a single one of + your questions? You boldly look forward, isn’t it because you cannot + foresee or expect anything terrible, because so far life has been hidden + from your young eyes? You are bolder, more honest, deeper than we are, + but think only, be just a little magnanimous, and have mercy on me. I + was born here, my father and mother lived here, my grandfather too, I + love this house. I couldn’t understand my life without that cherry + orchard, and if it really must be sold, sell me with it! [Embraces + TROFIMOV, kisses his forehead]. My son was drowned here.... [Weeps] Have + pity on me, good, kind man. + </p> + <p> + TROFIMOV. You know I sympathize with all my soul. + </p> + <p> + LUBOV. Yes, but it ought to be said differently, differently.... [Takes + another handkerchief, a telegram falls on the floor] I’m so sick at + heart to-day, you can’t imagine. Here it’s so noisy, my soul shakes at + every sound. I shake all over, and I can’t go away by myself, I’m afraid + of the silence. Don’t judge me harshly, Peter... I loved you, as if you + belonged to my family. I’d gladly let Anya marry you, I swear it, only + dear, you ought to work, finish your studies. You don’t do anything, + only fate throws you about from place to place, it’s so odd.... Isn’t it + true? Yes? And you ought to do something to your beard to make it grow + better [Laughs] You are funny! + </p> + <p> + TROFIMOV. [Picking up telegram] I don’t want to be a Beau Brummel. + </p> + <p> + LUBOV. This telegram’s from Paris. I get one every day. Yesterday and + to-day. That wild man is ill again, he’s bad again.... He begs for + forgiveness, and implores me to come, and I really ought to go to Paris + to be near him. You look severe, Peter, but what can I do, my dear, what + can I do; he’s ill, he’s alone, unhappy, and who’s to look after him, + who’s to keep him away from his errors, to give him his medicine + punctually? And why should I conceal it and say nothing about it; I love + him, that’s plain, I love him, I love him.... That love is a stone round + my neck; I’m going with it to the bottom, but I love that stone and + can’t live without it. [Squeezes TROFIMOV’S hand] Don’t think badly of + me, Peter, don’t say anything to me, don’t say... + </p> + <p> + TROFIMOV. [Weeping] For God’s sake forgive my speaking candidly, but + that man has robbed you! + </p> + <p> + LUBOV. No, no, no, you oughtn’t to say that! [Stops her ears.] + </p> + <p> + TROFIMOV. But he’s a wretch, you alone don’t know it! He’s a petty + thief, a nobody.... + </p> + <p> + LUBOV. [Angry, but restrained] You’re twenty-six or twenty-seven, and + still a schoolboy of the second class! + </p> + <p> + TROFIMOV. Why not! + </p> + <p> + LUBOV. You ought to be a man, at your age you ought to be able to + understand those who love. And you ought to be in love yourself, you + must fall in love! [Angry] Yes, yes! You aren’t pure, you’re just a + freak, a queer fellow, a funny growth... + </p> + <p> + TROFIMOV. [In horror] What is she saying! + </p> + <p> + LUBOV. “I’m above love!” You’re not above love, you’re just what our + Fiers calls a bungler. Not to have a mistress at your age! + </p> + <p> + TROFIMOV. [In horror] This is awful! What is she saying? [Goes quickly + up into the drawing-room, clutching his head] It’s awful... I can’t + stand it, I’ll go away. [Exit, but returns at once] All is over between + us! [Exit.] + </p> + <p> + LUBOV. [Shouts after him] Peter, wait! Silly man, I was joking! Peter! + [Somebody is heard going out and falling downstairs noisily. ANYA and + VARYA scream; laughter is heard immediately] What’s that? + </p> + <p> + [ANYA comes running in, laughing.] + </p> + <p> + ANYA. Peter’s fallen downstairs! [Runs out again.] + </p> + <p> + LUBOV. This Peter’s a marvel. + </p> + <p> + [The STATION-MASTER stands in the middle of the drawing-room and recites + “The Magdalen” by Tolstoy. He is listened to, but he has only delivered + a few lines when a waltz is heard from the front room, and the + recitation is stopped. Everybody dances. TROFIMOV, ANYA, VARYA, and + LUBOV ANDREYEVNA come in from the front room.] + </p> + <p> + LUBOV. Well, Peter... you pure soul... I beg your pardon... let’s dance. + </p> + <p> + [She dances with PETER. ANYA and VARYA dance. FIERS enters and stands + his stick by a side door. YASHA has also come in and looks on at the + dance.] + </p> + <p> + YASHA. Well, grandfather? + </p> + <p> + FIERS. I’m not well. At our balls some time back, generals and barons + and admirals used to dance, and now we send for post-office clerks and + the Station-master, and even they come as a favour. I’m very weak. The + dead master, the grandfather, used to give everybody sealing-wax when + anything was wrong. I’ve taken sealing-wax every day for twenty years, + and more; perhaps that’s why I still live. + </p> + <p> + YASHA. I’m tired of you, grandfather. [Yawns] If you’d only hurry up and + kick the bucket. + </p> + <p> + FIERS. Oh you... bungler! [Mutters.] + </p> + <p> + [TROFIMOV and LUBOV ANDREYEVNA dance in the reception-room, then into + the sitting-room.] + </p> + <p> + LUBOV. <i>Merci</i>. I’ll sit down. [Sits] I’m tired. + </p> + <p> + [Enter ANYA.] + </p> + <p> + ANYA. [Excited] Somebody in the kitchen was saying just now that the + cherry orchard was sold to-day. + </p> + <p> + LUBOV. Sold to whom? + </p> + <p> + ANYA. He didn’t say to whom. He’s gone now. [Dances out into the + reception-room with TROFIMOV.] + </p> + <p> + YASHA. Some old man was chattering about it a long time ago. A stranger! + </p> + <p> + FIERS. And Leonid Andreyevitch isn’t here yet, he hasn’t come. He’s + wearing a light, <i>demi-saison</i> overcoat. He’ll catch cold. Oh these + young fellows. + </p> + <p> + LUBOV. I’ll die of this. Go and find out, Yasha, to whom it’s sold. + </p> + <p> + YASHA. Oh, but he’s been gone a long time, the old man. [Laughs.] + </p> + <p> + LUBOV. [Slightly vexed] Why do you laugh? What are you glad about? + </p> + <p> + YASHA. Epikhodov’s too funny. He’s a silly man. Two-and-twenty troubles. + </p> + <p> + LUBOV. Fiers, if the estate is sold, where will you go? + </p> + <p> + FIERS. I’ll go wherever you order me to go. + </p> + <p> + LUBOV. Why do you look like that? Are you ill? I think you ought to go + to bed.... + </p> + <p> + FIERS. Yes... [With a smile] I’ll go to bed, and who’ll hand things + round and give orders without me? I’ve the whole house on my shoulders. + </p> + <p> + YASHA. [To LUBOV ANDREYEVNA] Lubov Andreyevna! I want to ask a favour of + you, if you’ll be so kind! If you go to Paris again, then please take me + with you. It’s absolutely impossible for me to stop here. [Looking + round; in an undertone] What’s the good of talking about it, you see for + yourself that this is an uneducated country, with an immoral population, + and it’s so dull. The food in the kitchen is beastly, and here’s this + Fiers walking about mumbling various inappropriate things. Take me with + you, be so kind! + </p> + <p> + [Enter PISCHIN.] + </p> + <p> + PISCHIN. I come to ask for the pleasure of a little waltz, dear lady.... + [LUBOV ANDREYEVNA goes to him] But all the same, you wonderful woman, I + must have 180 little roubles from you... I must.... [They dance] 180 + little roubles.... [They go through into the drawing-room.] + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> +YASHA. [Sings softly] “Oh, will you understand + My soul’s deep restlessness?” + </pre> + <p> + [In the drawing-room a figure in a grey top-hat and in baggy check + trousers is waving its hands and jumping about; there are cries of + “Bravo, Charlotta Ivanovna!”] + </p> + <p> + DUNYASHA. [Stops to powder her face] The young mistress tells me to + dance—there are a lot of gentlemen, but few ladies—and my + head goes round when I dance, and my heart beats, Fiers Nicolaevitch; + the Post-office clerk told me something just now which made me catch my + breath. [The music grows faint.] + </p> + <p> + FIERS. What did he say to you? + </p> + <p> + DUNYASHA. He says, “You’re like a little flower.” + </p> + <p> + YASHA. [Yawns] Impolite.... [Exit.] + </p> + <p> + DUNYASHA. Like a little flower. I’m such a delicate girl; I simply love + words of tenderness. + </p> + <p> + FIERS. You’ll lose your head. + </p> + <p> + [Enter EPIKHODOV.] + </p> + <p> + EPIKHODOV. You, Avdotya Fedorovna, want to see me no more than if I was + some insect. [Sighs] Oh, life! + </p> + <p> + DUNYASHA. What do you want? + </p> + <p> + EPIKHODOV. Undoubtedly, perhaps, you may be right. [Sighs] But, + certainly, if you regard the matter from the aspect, then you, if I may + say so, and you must excuse my candidness, have absolutely reduced me to + a state of mind. I know my fate, every day something unfortunate happens + to me, and I’ve grown used to it a long time ago, I even look at my fate + with a smile. You gave me your word, and though I... + </p> + <p> + DUNYASHA. Please, we’ll talk later on, but leave me alone now. I’m + meditating now. [Plays with her fan.] + </p> + <p> + EPIKHODOV. Every day something unfortunate happens to me, and I, if I + may so express myself, only smile, and even laugh. + </p> + <p> + [VARYA enters from the drawing-room.] + </p> + <p> + VARYA. Haven’t you gone yet, Simeon? You really have no respect for + anybody. [To DUNYASHA] You go away, Dunyasha. [To EPIKHODOV] You play + billiards and break a cue, and walk about the drawing-room as if you + were a visitor! + </p> + <p> + EPIKHODOV. You cannot, if I may say so, call me to order. + </p> + <p> + VARYA. I’m not calling you to order, I’m only telling you. You just walk + about from place to place and never do your work. Goodness only knows + why we keep a clerk. + </p> + <p> + EPIKHODOV. [Offended] Whether I work, or walk about, or eat, or play + billiards, is only a matter to be settled by people of understanding and + my elders. + </p> + <p> + VARYA. You dare to talk to me like that! [Furious] You dare? You mean + that I know nothing? Get out of here! This minute! + </p> + <p> + EPIKHODOV. [Nervous] I must ask you to express yourself more delicately. + </p> + <p> + VARYA. [Beside herself] Get out this minute. Get out! [He goes to the + door, she follows] Two-and-twenty troubles! I don’t want any sign of you + here! I don’t want to see anything of you! [EPIKHODOV has gone out; his + voice can be heard outside: “I’ll make a complaint against you.”] What, + coming back? [Snatches up the stick left by FIERS by the door] Go... + go... go, I’ll show you.... Are you going? Are you going? Well, then + take that. [She hits out as LOPAKHIN enters.] + </p> + <p> + LOPAKHIN. Much obliged. + </p> + <p> + VARYA. [Angry but amused] I’m sorry. + </p> + <p> + LOPAKHIN. Never mind. I thank you for my pleasant reception. + </p> + <p> + VARYA. It isn’t worth any thanks. [Walks away, then looks back and asks + gently] I didn’t hurt you, did I? + </p> + <p> + LOPAKHIN. No, not at all. There’ll be an enormous bump, that’s all. + </p> + <p> + VOICES FROM THE DRAWING-ROOM. Lopakhin’s returned! Ermolai Alexeyevitch! + </p> + <p> + PISCHIN. Now we’ll see what there is to see and hear what there is to + hear... [Kisses LOPAKHIN] You smell of cognac, my dear, my soul. And + we’re all having a good time. + </p> + <p> + [Enter LUBOV ANDREYEVNA.] + </p> + <p> + LUBOV. Is that you, Ermolai Alexeyevitch? Why were you so long? Where’s + Leonid? + </p> + <p> + LOPAKHIN. Leonid Andreyevitch came back with me, he’s coming.... + </p> + <p> + LUBOV. [Excited] Well, what? Is it sold? Tell me? + </p> + <p> + LOPAKHIN. [Confused, afraid to show his pleasure] The sale ended up at + four o’clock.... We missed the train, and had to wait till half-past + nine. [Sighs heavily] Ooh! My head’s going round a little. + </p> + <p> + [Enter GAEV; in his right hand he carries things he has bought, with his + left he wipes away his tears.] + </p> + <p> + LUBOV. Leon, what’s happened? Leon, well? [Impatiently, in tears] Quick, + for the love of God.... + </p> + <p> + GAEV. [Says nothing to her, only waves his hand; to FIERS, weeping] + Here, take this.... Here are anchovies, herrings from Kertch.... I’ve + had no food to-day.... I have had a time! [The door from the + billiard-room is open; the clicking of the balls is heard, and YASHA’S + voice, “Seven, eighteen!” GAEV’S expression changes, he cries no more] + I’m awfully tired. Help me change my clothes, Fiers. + </p> + <p> + [Goes out through the drawing-room; FIERS after him.] + </p> + <p> + PISCHIN. What happened? Come on, tell us! + </p> + <p> + LUBOV. Is the cherry orchard sold? + </p> + <p> + LOPAKHIN. It is sold. + </p> + <p> + LUBOV. Who bought it? + </p> + <p> + LOPAKHIN. I bought it. + </p> + <p> + [LUBOV ANDREYEVNA is overwhelmed; she would fall if she were not + standing by an armchair and a table. VARYA takes her keys off her belt, + throws them on the floor, into the middle of the room and goes out.] + </p> + <p> + LOPAKHIN. I bought it! Wait, ladies and gentlemen, please, my head’s + going round, I can’t talk.... [Laughs] When we got to the sale, + Deriganov was there already. Leonid Andreyevitch had only fifteen + thousand roubles, and Deriganov offered thirty thousand on top of the + mortgage to begin with. I saw how matters were, so I grabbed hold of him + and bid forty. He went up to forty-five, I offered fifty-five. That + means he went up by fives and I went up by tens.... Well, it came to an + end. I bid ninety more than the mortgage; and it stayed with me. The + cherry orchard is mine now, mine! [Roars with laughter] My God, my God, + the cherry orchard’s mine! Tell me I’m drunk, or mad, or dreaming.... + [Stamps his feet] Don’t laugh at me! If my father and grandfather rose + from their graves and looked at the whole affair, and saw how their + Ermolai, their beaten and uneducated Ermolai, who used to run barefoot + in the winter, how that very Ermolai has bought an estate, which is the + most beautiful thing in the world! I’ve bought the estate where my + grandfather and my father were slaves, where they weren’t even allowed + into the kitchen. I’m asleep, it’s only a dream, an illusion.... It’s + the fruit of imagination, wrapped in the fog of the unknown.... [Picks + up the keys, nicely smiling] She threw down the keys, she wanted to show + she was no longer mistress here.... [Jingles keys] Well, it’s all one! + [Hears the band tuning up] Eh, musicians, play, I want to hear you! Come + and look at Ermolai Lopakhin laying his axe to the cherry orchard, come + and look at the trees falling! We’ll build villas here, and our + grandsons and great-grandsons will see a new life here.... Play on, + music! [The band plays. LUBOV ANDREYEVNA sinks into a chair and weeps + bitterly. LOPAKHIN continues reproachfully] Why then, why didn’t you + take my advice? My poor, dear woman, you can’t go back now. [Weeps] Oh, + if only the whole thing was done with, if only our uneven, unhappy life + were changed! + </p> + <p> + PISCHIN. [Takes his arm; in an undertone] She’s crying. Let’s go into + the drawing-room and leave her by herself... come on.... [Takes his arm + and leads him out.] + </p> + <p> + LOPAKHIN. What’s that? Bandsmen, play nicely! Go on, do just as I want + you to! [Ironically] The new owner, the owner of the cherry orchard is + coming! [He accidentally knocks up against a little table and nearly + upsets the candelabra] I can pay for everything! [Exit with PISCHIN] + </p> + <p> + [In the reception-room and the drawing-room nobody remains except LUBOV + ANDREYEVNA, who sits huddled up and weeping bitterly. The band plays + softly. ANYA and TROFIMOV come in quickly. ANYA goes up to her mother + and goes on her knees in front of her. TROFIMOV stands at the + drawing-room entrance.] + </p> + <p> + ANYA. Mother! mother, are you crying? My dear, kind, good mother, my + beautiful mother, I love you! Bless you! The cherry orchard is sold, + we’ve got it no longer, it’s true, true, but don’t cry mother, you’ve + still got your life before you, you’ve still your beautiful pure soul... + Come with me, come, dear, away from here, come! We’ll plant a new + garden, finer than this, and you’ll see it, and you’ll understand, and + deep joy, gentle joy will sink into your soul, like the evening sun, and + you’ll smile, mother! Come, dear, let’s go! + </p> + <p> + Curtain. + </p> + <a name="link2H_4_0017" id="link2H_4_0017"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + ACT FOUR + </h2> + <p> + [The stage is set as for Act I. There are no curtains on the windows, no + pictures; only a few pieces of furniture are left; they are piled up in + a corner as if for sale. The emptiness is felt. By the door that leads + out of the house and at the back of the stage, portmanteaux and + travelling paraphernalia are piled up. The door on the left is open; the + voices of VARYA and ANYA can be heard through it. LOPAKHIN stands and + waits. YASHA holds a tray with little tumblers of champagne. Outside, + EPIKHODOV is tying up a box. Voices are heard behind the stage. The + peasants have come to say good-bye. The voice of GAEV is heard: “Thank + you, brothers, thank you.”] + </p> + <p> + YASHA. The common people have come to say good-bye. I am of the opinion, + Ermolai Alexeyevitch, that they’re good people, but they don’t + understand very much. + </p> + <p> + [The voices die away. LUBOV ANDREYEVNA and GAEV enter. She is not crying + but is pale, and her face trembles; she can hardly speak.] + </p> + <p> + GAEV. You gave them your purse, Luba. You can’t go on like that, you + can’t! + </p> + <p> + LUBOV. I couldn’t help myself, I couldn’t! [They go out.] + </p> + <p> + LOPAKHIN. [In the doorway, calling after them] Please, I ask you most + humbly! Just a little glass to say good-bye. I didn’t remember to bring + any from town and I only found one bottle at the station. Please, do! + [Pause] Won’t you really have any? [Goes away from the door] If I only + knew—I wouldn’t have bought any. Well, I shan’t drink any either. + [YASHA carefully puts the tray on a chair] You have a drink, Yasha, at + any rate. + </p> + <p> + YASHA. To those departing! And good luck to those who stay behind! + [Drinks] I can assure you that this isn’t real champagne. + </p> + <p> + LOPAKHIN. Eight roubles a bottle. [Pause] It’s devilish cold here. + </p> + <p> + YASHA. There are no fires to-day, we’re going away. [Laughs] + </p> + <p> + LOPAKHIN. What’s the matter with you? + </p> + <p> + YASHA. I’m just pleased. + </p> + <p> + LOPAKHIN. It’s October outside, but it’s as sunny and as quiet as if it + were summer. Good for building. [Looking at his watch and speaking + through the door] Ladies and gentlemen, please remember that it’s only + forty-seven minutes till the train goes! You must go off to the station + in twenty minutes. Hurry up. + </p> + <p> + [TROFIMOV, in an overcoat, comes in from the grounds.] + </p> + <p> + TROFIMOV. I think it’s time we went. The carriages are waiting. Where + the devil are my goloshes? They’re lost. [Through the door] Anya, I + can’t find my goloshes! I can’t! + </p> + <p> + LOPAKHIN. I’ve got to go to Kharkov. I’m going in the same train as you. + I’m going to spend the whole winter in Kharkov. I’ve been hanging about + with you people, going rusty without work. I can’t live without working. + I must have something to do with my hands; they hang about as if they + weren’t mine at all. + </p> + <p> + TROFIMOV. We’ll go away now and then you’ll start again on your useful + labours. + </p> + <p> + LOPAKHIN. Have a glass. + </p> + <p> + TROFIMOV. I won’t. + </p> + <p> + LOPAKHIN. So you’re off to Moscow now? + </p> + <p> + TROFIMOV Yes. I’ll see them into town and to-morrow I’m off to Moscow. + </p> + <p> + LOPAKHIN. Yes.... I expect the professors don’t lecture nowadays; + they’re waiting till you turn up! + </p> + <p> + TROFIMOV. That’s not your business. + </p> + <p> + LOPAKHIN. How many years have you been going to the university? + </p> + <p> + TROFIMOV. Think of something fresh. This is old and flat. [Looking for + his goloshes] You know, we may not meet each other again, so just let me + give you a word of advice on parting: “Don’t wave your hands about! Get + rid of that habit of waving them about. And then, building villas and + reckoning on their residents becoming freeholders in time—that’s + the same thing; it’s all a matter of waving your hands about.... Whether + I want to or not, you know, I like you. You’ve thin, delicate fingers, + like those of an artist, and you’ve a thin, delicate soul....” + </p> + <p> + LOPAKHIN. [Embraces him] Good-bye, dear fellow. Thanks for all you’ve + said. If you want any, take some money from me for the journey. + </p> + <p> + TROFIMOV. Why should I? I don’t want it. + </p> + <p> + LOPAKHIN. But you’ve nothing! + </p> + <p> + TROFIMOV. Yes, I have, thank you; I’ve got some for a translation. Here + it is in my pocket. [Nervously] But I can’t find my goloshes! + </p> + <p> + VARYA. [From the other room] Take your rubbish away! [Throws a pair of + rubber goloshes on to the stage.] + </p> + <p> + TROFIMOV. Why are you angry, Varya? Hm! These aren’t my goloshes! + </p> + <p> + LOPAKHIN. In the spring I sowed three thousand acres of poppies, and now + I’ve made forty thousand roubles net profit. And when my poppies were in + flower, what a picture it was! So I, as I was saying, made forty + thousand roubles, and I mean I’d like to lend you some, because I can + afford it. Why turn up your nose at it? I’m just a simple peasant.... + </p> + <p> + TROFIMOV. Your father was a peasant, mine was a chemist, and that means + absolutely nothing. [LOPAKHIN takes out his pocket-book] No, no.... Even + if you gave me twenty thousand I should refuse. I’m a free man. And + everything that all you people, rich and poor, value so highly and so + dearly hasn’t the least influence over me; it’s like a flock of down in + the wind. I can do without you, I can pass you by. I’m strong and proud. + Mankind goes on to the highest truths and to the highest happiness such + as is only possible on earth, and I go in the front ranks! + </p> + <p> + LOPAKHIN. Will you get there? + </p> + <p> + TROFIMOV. I will. [Pause] I’ll get there and show others the way. [Axes + cutting the trees are heard in the distance.] + </p> + <p> + LOPAKHIN. Well, good-bye, old man. It’s time to go. Here we stand + pulling one another’s noses, but life goes its own way all the time. + When I work for a long time, and I don’t get tired, then I think more + easily, and I think I get to understand why I exist. And there are so + many people in Russia, brother, who live for nothing at all. Still, work + goes on without that. Leonid Andreyevitch, they say, has accepted a post + in a bank; he will get sixty thousand roubles a year.... But he won’t + stand it; he’s very lazy. + </p> + <p> + ANYA. [At the door] Mother asks if you will stop them cutting down the + orchard until she has gone away. + </p> + <p> + TROFIMOV. Yes, really, you ought to have enough tact not to do that. + [Exit.] + </p> + <p> + LOPAKHIN, All right, all right... yes, he’s right. [Exit.] + </p> + <p> + ANYA. Has Fiers been sent to the hospital? + </p> + <p> + YASHA. I gave the order this morning. I suppose they’ve sent him. + </p> + <p> + ANYA. [To EPIKHODOV, who crosses the room] Simeon Panteleyevitch, please + make inquiries if Fiers has been sent to the hospital. + </p> + <p> + YASHA. [Offended] I told Egor this morning. What’s the use of asking ten + times! + </p> + <p> + EPIKHODOV. The aged Fiers, in my conclusive opinion, isn’t worth + mending; his forefathers had better have him. I only envy him. [Puts a + trunk on a hat-box and squashes it] Well, of course. I thought so! + [Exit.] + </p> + <p> + YASHA. [Grinning] Two-and-twenty troubles. + </p> + <p> + VARYA. [Behind the door] Has Fiers been taken away to the hospital? + </p> + <p> + ANYA. Yes. + </p> + <p> + VARYA. Why didn’t they take the letter to the doctor? + </p> + <p> + ANYA. It’ll have to be sent after him. [Exit.] + </p> + <p> + VARYA. [In the next room] Where’s Yasha? Tell him his mother’s come and + wants to say good-bye to him. + </p> + <p> + YASHA. [Waving his hand] She’ll make me lose all patience! + </p> + <p> + [DUNYASHA has meanwhile been bustling round the luggage; now that YASHA + is left alone, she goes up to him.] + </p> + <p> + DUNYASHA. If you only looked at me once, Yasha. You’re going away, + leaving me behind. + </p> + <p> + [Weeps and hugs him round the neck.] + </p> + <p> + YASHA. What’s the use of crying? [Drinks champagne] In six days I’ll be + again in Paris. To-morrow we get into the express and off we go. I can + hardly believe it. Vive la France! It doesn’t suit me here, I can’t live + here... it’s no good. Well, I’ve seen the uncivilized world; I have had + enough of it. [Drinks champagne] What do you want to cry for? You behave + yourself properly, and then you won’t cry. + </p> + <p> + DUNYASHA. [Looks in a small mirror and powders her face] Send me a + letter from Paris. You know I loved you, Yasha, so much! I’m a sensitive + creature, Yasha. + </p> + <p> + YASHA. Somebody’s coming. + </p> + <p> + [He bustles around the luggage, singing softly. Enter LUBOV ANDREYEVNA, + GAEV, ANYA, and CHARLOTTA IVANOVNA.] + </p> + <p> + GAEV. We’d better be off. There’s no time left. [Looks at YASHA] + Somebody smells of herring! + </p> + <p> + LUBOV. We needn’t get into our carriages for ten minutes.... [Looks + round the room] Good-bye, dear house, old grandfather. The winter will + go, the spring will come, and then you’ll exist no more, you’ll be + pulled down. How much these walls have seen! [Passionately kisses her + daughter] My treasure, you’re radiant, your eyes flash like two jewels! + Are you happy? Very? + </p> + <p> + ANYA. Very! A new life is beginning, mother! + </p> + <p> + GAEV. [Gaily] Yes, really, everything’s all right now. Before the cherry + orchard was sold we all were excited and we suffered, and then, when the + question was solved once and for all, we all calmed down, and even + became cheerful. I’m a bank official now, and a financier... red in the + middle; and you, Luba, for some reason or other, look better, there’s no + doubt about it. + </p> + <p> + LUBOV Yes. My nerves are better, it’s true. [She puts on her coat and + hat] I sleep well. Take my luggage out, Yasha. It’s time. [To ANYA] My + little girl, we’ll soon see each other again.... I’m off to Paris. I’ll + live there on the money your grandmother from Yaroslav sent along to buy + the estate—bless her!—though it won’t last long. + </p> + <p> + ANYA. You’ll come back soon, soon, mother, won’t you? I’ll get ready, + and pass the exam at the Higher School, and then I’ll work and help you. + We’ll read all sorts of books to one another, won’t we? [Kisses her + mother’s hands] We’ll read in the autumn evenings; we’ll read many + books, and a beautiful new world will open up before us.... + [Thoughtfully] You’ll come, mother.... + </p> + <p> + LUBOV. I’ll come, my darling. [Embraces her.] + </p> + <p> + [Enter LOPAKHIN. CHARLOTTA is singing to herself.] + </p> + <p> + GAEV. Charlotta is happy; she sings! + </p> + <p> + CHARLOTTA. [Takes a bundle, looking like a wrapped-up baby] My little + baby, bye-bye. [The baby seems to answer, “Oua! Oua!”] Hush, my nice + little boy. [“Oua! Oua!”] I’m so sorry for you! [Throws the bundle back] + So please find me a new place. I can’t go on like this. + </p> + <p> + LOPAKHIN. We’ll find one, Charlotta Ivanovna, don’t you be afraid. + </p> + <p> + GAEV. Everybody’s leaving us. Varya’s going away... we’ve suddenly + become unnecessary. + </p> + <p> + CHARLOTTA. I’ve nowhere to live in town. I must go away. [Hums] Never + mind. + </p> + <p> + [Enter PISCHIN.] + </p> + <p> + LOPAKHIN. Nature’s marvel! + </p> + <p> + PISCHIN. [Puffing] Oh, let me get my breath back.... I’m fagged out... + My most honoured, give me some water.... + </p> + <p> + GAEV. Come for money, what? I’m your humble servant, and I’m going out + of the way of temptation. [Exit.] + </p> + <p> + PISCHIN. I haven’t been here for ever so long... dear madam. [To + LOPAKHIN] You here? Glad to see you... man of immense brain... take + this... take it.... [Gives LOPAKHIN money] Four hundred roubles.... That + leaves 840.... + </p> + <p> + LOPAKHIN. [Shrugs his shoulders in surprise] As if I were dreaming. + Where did you get this from? + </p> + <p> + PISCHIN. Stop... it’s hot.... A most unexpected thing happened. Some + Englishmen came along and found some white clay on my land.... [To LUBOV + ANDREYEVNA] And here’s four hundred for you... beautiful lady.... [Gives + her money] Give you the rest later.... [Drinks water] Just now a young + man in the train was saying that some great philosopher advises us all + to jump off roofs. “Jump!” he says, and that’s all. [Astonished] To + think of that, now! More water! + </p> + <p> + LOPAKHIN. Who were these Englishmen? + </p> + <p> + PISCHIN. I’ve leased off the land with the clay to them for twenty-four + years.... Now, excuse me, I’ve no time.... I must run off.... I must go + to Znoikov and to Kardamonov... I owe them all money.... [Drinks] + Good-bye. I’ll come in on Thursday. + </p> + <p> + LUBOV. We’re just off to town, and to-morrow I go abroad. + </p> + <p> + PISCHIN. [Agitated] What? Why to town? I see furniture... trunks.... + Well, never mind. [Crying] Never mind. These Englishmen are men of + immense intellect.... Never mind.... Be happy.... God will help you.... + Never mind.... Everything in this world comes to an end.... [Kisses + LUBOV ANDREYEVNA’S hand] And if you should happen to hear that my end + has come, just remember this old... horse and say: “There was one such + and such a Simeonov-Pischin, God bless his soul....” Wonderful + weather... yes.... [Exit deeply moved, but returns at once and says in + the door] Dashenka sent her love! [Exit.] + </p> + <p> + LUBOV. Now we can go. I’ve two anxieties, though. The first is poor + Fiers [Looks at her watch] We’ve still five minutes.... + </p> + <p> + ANYA. Mother, Fiers has already been sent to the hospital. Yasha sent + him off this morning. + </p> + <p> + LUBOV. The second is Varya. She’s used to getting up early and to work, + and now she’s no work to do she’s like a fish out of water. She’s grown + thin and pale, and she cries, poor thing.... [Pause] You know very well, + Ermolai Alexeyevitch, that I used to hope to marry her to you, and I + suppose you are going to marry somebody? [Whispers to ANYA, who nods to + CHARLOTTA, and they both go out] She loves you, she’s your sort, and I + don’t understand, I really don’t, why you seem to be keeping away from + each other. I don’t understand! + </p> + <p> + LOPAKHIN. To tell the truth, I don’t understand it myself. It’s all so + strange.... If there’s still time, I’ll be ready at once... Let’s get it + over, once and for all; I don’t feel as if I could ever propose to her + without you. + </p> + <p> + LUBOV. Excellent. It’ll only take a minute. I’ll call her. + </p> + <p> + LOPAKHIN. The champagne’s very appropriate. [Looking at the tumblers] + They’re empty, somebody’s already drunk them. [YASHA coughs] I call that + licking it up.... + </p> + <p> + LUBOV. [Animated] Excellent. We’ll go out. Yasha, allez. I’ll call her + in.... [At the door] Varya, leave that and come here. Come! [Exit with + YASHA.] + </p> + <p> + LOPAKHIN. [Looks at his watch] Yes.... [Pause.] + </p> + <p> + [There is a restrained laugh behind the door, a whisper, then VARYA + comes in.] + </p> + <p> + VARYA. [Looking at the luggage in silence] I can’t seem to find it.... + </p> + <p> + LOPAKHIN. What are you looking for? + </p> + <p> + VARYA. I packed it myself and I don’t remember. [Pause.] + </p> + <p> + LOPAKHIN. Where are you going to now, Barbara Mihailovna? + </p> + <p> + VARYA. I? To the Ragulins.... I’ve got an agreement to go and look after + their house... as housekeeper or something. + </p> + <p> + LOPAKHIN. Is that at Yashnevo? It’s about fifty miles. [Pause] So life + in this house is finished now.... + </p> + <p> + VARYA. [Looking at the luggage] Where is it?... perhaps I’ve put it away + in the trunk.... Yes, there’ll be no more life in this house.... + </p> + <p> + LOPAKHIN. And I’m off to Kharkov at once... by this train. I’ve a lot of + business on hand. I’m leaving Epikhodov here... I’ve taken him on. + </p> + <p> + VARYA. Well, well! + </p> + <p> + LOPAKHIN. Last year at this time the snow was already falling, if you + remember, and now it’s nice and sunny. Only it’s rather cold.... There’s + three degrees of frost. + </p> + <p> + VARYA. I didn’t look. [Pause] And our thermometer’s broken.... [Pause.] + </p> + <p> + VOICE AT THE DOOR. Ermolai Alexeyevitch! + </p> + <p> + LOPAKHIN. [As if he has long been waiting to be called] This minute. + [Exit quickly.] + </p> + <p> + [VARYA, sitting on the floor, puts her face on a bundle of clothes and + weeps gently. The door opens. LUBOV ANDREYEVNA enters carefully.] + </p> + <p> + LUBOV. Well? [Pause] We must go. + </p> + <p> + VARYA. [Not crying now, wipes her eyes] Yes, it’s quite time, little + mother. I’ll get to the Ragulins to-day, if I don’t miss the train.... + </p> + <p> + LUBOV. [At the door] Anya, put on your things. [Enter ANYA, then GAEV, + CHARLOTTA IVANOVNA. GAEV wears a warm overcoat with a cape. A servant + and drivers come in. EPIKHODOV bustles around the luggage] Now we can go + away. + </p> + <p> + ANYA. [Joyfully] Away! + </p> + <p> + GAEV. My friends, my dear friends! Can I be silent, in leaving this + house for evermore?—can I restrain myself, in saying farewell, + from expressing those feelings which now fill my whole being...? + </p> + <p> + ANYA. [Imploringly] Uncle! + </p> + <p> + VARYA. Uncle, you shouldn’t! + </p> + <p> + GAEV. [Stupidly] Double the red into the middle.... I’ll be quiet. + </p> + <p> + [Enter TROFIMOV, then LOPAKHIN.] + </p> + <p> + TROFIMOV. Well, it’s time to be off. + </p> + <p> + LOPAKHIN. Epikhodov, my coat! + </p> + <p> + LUBOV. I’ll sit here one more minute. It’s as if I’d never really + noticed what the walls and ceilings of this house were like, and now I + look at them greedily, with such tender love.... + </p> + <p> + GAEV. I remember, when I was six years old, on Trinity Sunday, I sat at + this window and looked and saw my father going to church.... + </p> + <p> + LUBOV. Have all the things been taken away? + </p> + <p> + LOPAKHIN. Yes, all, I think. [To EPIKHODOV, putting on his coat] You see + that everything’s quite straight, Epikhodov. + </p> + <p> + EPIKHODOV. [Hoarsely] You may depend upon me, Ermolai Alexeyevitch! + </p> + <p> + LOPAKHIN. What’s the matter with your voice? + </p> + <p> + EPIKHODOV. I swallowed something just now; I was having a drink of + water. + </p> + <p> + YASHA. [Suspiciously] What manners.... + </p> + <p> + LUBOV. We go away, and not a soul remains behind. + </p> + <p> + LOPAKHIN. Till the spring. + </p> + <p> + VARYA. [Drags an umbrella out of a bundle, and seems to be waving it + about. LOPAKHIN appears to be frightened] What are you doing?... I never + thought... + </p> + <p> + TROFIMOV. Come along, let’s take our seats... it’s time! The train will + be in directly. + </p> + <p> + VARYA. Peter, here they are, your goloshes, by that trunk. [In tears] + And how old and dirty they are.... + </p> + <p> + TROFIMOV. [Putting them on] Come on! + </p> + <p> + GAEV. [Deeply moved, nearly crying] The train... the station.... Cross + in the middle, a white double in the corner.... + </p> + <p> + LUBOV. Let’s go! + </p> + <p> + LOPAKHIN. Are you all here? There’s nobody else? [Locks the side-door on + the left] There’s a lot of things in there. I must lock them up. Come! + </p> + <p> + ANYA. Good-bye, home! Good-bye, old life! + </p> + <p> + TROFIMOV. Welcome, new life! [Exit with ANYA.] + </p> + <p> + [VARYA looks round the room and goes out slowly. YASHA and CHARLOTTA, + with her little dog, go out.] + </p> + <p> + LOPAKHIN. Till the spring, then! Come on... till we meet again! [Exit.] + </p> + <p> + [LUBOV ANDREYEVNA and GAEV are left alone. They might almost have been + waiting for that. They fall into each other’s arms and sob restrainedly + and quietly, fearing that somebody might hear them.] + </p> + <p> + GAEV. [In despair] My sister, my sister.... + </p> + <p> + LUBOV. My dear, my gentle, beautiful orchard! My life, my youth, my + happiness, good-bye! Good-bye! + </p> + <p> + ANYA’S VOICE. [Gaily] Mother! + </p> + <p> + TROFIMOV’S VOICE. [Gaily, excited] Coo-ee! + </p> + <p> + LUBOV. To look at the walls and the windows for the last time.... My + dead mother used to like to walk about this room.... + </p> + <p> + GAEV. My sister, my sister! + </p> + <p> + ANYA’S VOICE. Mother! + </p> + <p> + TROFIMOV’S VOICE. Coo-ee! + </p> + <p> + LUBOV. We’re coming! [They go out.] + </p> + <p> + [The stage is empty. The sound of keys being turned in the locks is + heard, and then the noise of the carriages going away. It is quiet. Then + the sound of an axe against the trees is heard in the silence sadly and + by itself. Steps are heard. FIERS comes in from the door on the right. + He is dressed as usual, in a short jacket and white waistcoat; slippers + on his feet. He is ill. He goes to the door and tries the handle.] + </p> + <p> + FIERS. It’s locked. They’ve gone away. [Sits on a sofa] They’ve + forgotten about me.... Never mind, I’ll sit here.... And Leonid + Andreyevitch will have gone in a light overcoat instead of putting on + his fur coat.... [Sighs anxiously] I didn’t see.... Oh, these young + people! [Mumbles something that cannot be understood] Life’s gone on as + if I’d never lived. [Lying down] I’ll lie down.... You’ve no strength + left in you, nothing left at all.... Oh, you... bungler! + </p> + <p> + [He lies without moving. The distant sound is heard, as if from the sky, + of a breaking string, dying away sadly. Silence follows it, and only the + sound is heard, some way away in the orchard, of the axe falling on the + trees.] + </p> + <p> + Curtain. + </p> + <br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + + + + + +End of Project Gutenberg’s Plays by Chekhov, Second Series, by Anton Chekhov + +*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK PLAYS BY CHEKHOV, SECOND SERIES *** + +***** This file should be named 7986-h.htm or 7986-h.zip ***** +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: + http://www.gutenberg.org/7/9/8/7986/ + +Produced by James Rusk, Nicole Apostola, and David Widger + + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: Plays by Chekhov, Second Series + On the High Road, The Proposal, The Wedding, The Bear, A + Tragedian In Spite of Himself, The Anniversary, The Three + Sisters, The Cherry Orchard + +Author: Anton Chekhov + +Release Date: April, 2005 [EBook #7986] +Posting Date: August 8, 2009 + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ASCII + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK PLAYS BY CHEKHOV, SECOND SERIES *** + + + + +Produced by James Rusk and Nicole Apostola + + + + + +PLAYS BY ANTON CHEKHOV, SECOND SERIES + +By Anton Chekhov + +Translated, with an Introduction, by Julius West + +[The First Series Plays have been previously published +by Project Gutenberg in etext numbers: 1753 through 1756] + + +CONTENTS + + INTRODUCTION + ON THE HIGH ROAD + THE PROPOSAL + THE WEDDING + THE BEAR + A TRAGEDIAN IN SPITE OF HIMSELF + THE ANNIVERSARY + THE THREE SISTERS + THE CHERRY ORCHARD + + + + +INTRODUCTION + +The last few years have seen a large and generally unsystematic mass of +translations from the Russian flung at the heads and hearts of English +readers. The ready acceptance of Chekhov has been one of the few +successful features of this irresponsible output. He has been welcomed +by British critics with something like affection. Bernard Shaw has +several times remarked: "Every time I see a play by Chekhov, I want to +chuck all my own stuff into the fire." Others, having no such valuable +property to sacrifice on the altar of Chekhov, have not hesitated +to place him side by side with Ibsen, and the other established +institutions of the new theatre. For these reasons it is pleasant to +be able to chronicle the fact that, by way of contrast with the casual +treatment normally handed out to Russian authors, the publishers are +issuing the complete dramatic works of this author. In 1912 they brought +out a volume containing four Chekhov plays, translated by Marian Fell. +All the dramatic works not included in her volume are to be found in the +present one. With the exception of Chekhov's masterpiece, "The Cherry +Orchard" (translated by the late Mr. George Calderon in 1912), none of +these plays have been previously published in book form in England or +America. + +It is not the business of a translator to attempt to outdo all others in +singing the praises of his raw material. This is a dangerous process and +may well lead, as it led Mr. Calderon, to drawing the reader's +attention to points of beauty not to be found in the original. A few +bibliographical details are equally necessary, and permissible, and the +elementary principles of Chekhov criticism will also be found useful. + +The very existence of "The High Road" (1884); probably the earliest +of its author's plays, will be unsuspected by English readers. During +Chekhov's lifetime it a sort of family legend, after his death it became +a family mystery. A copy was finally discovered only last year in the +Censor's office, yielded up, and published. It had been sent in 1885 +under the nom-de-plume "A. Chekhonte," and it had failed to pass. The +Censor, of the time being had scrawled his opinion on the manuscript, +"a depressing and dirty piece,--cannot be licensed." The name of the +gentleman who held this view--Kaiser von Kugelgen--gives another reason +for the educated Russian's low opinion of German-sounding institutions. +Baron von Tuzenbach, the satisfactory person in "The Three Sisters," +it will be noted, finds it as well, while he is trying to secure the +favours of Irina, to declare that his German ancestry is fairly remote. +This is by way of parenthesis. "The High Road," found after thirty +years, is a most interesting document to the lover of Chekhov. Every +play he wrote in later years was either a one-act farce or a four-act +drama. [Note: "The Swan Song" may occur as an exception. This, however, +is more of a Shakespeare recitation than anything else, and so neither +here nor there.] + +In "The High Road" we see, in an embryonic form, the whole later method +of the plays--the deliberate contrast between two strong characters +(Bortsov and Merik in this case), the careful individualization of each +person in a fairly large group by way of an introduction to the main +theme, the concealment of the catastrophe, germ-wise, in the actual +character of the characters, and the of a distinctive group-atmosphere. +It need scarcely be stated that "The High Road" is not a "dirty" piece +according to Russian or to German standards; Chekhov was incapable of +writing a dirty play or story. For the rest, this piece differs from the +others in its presentation, not of Chekhov's favourite middle-classes, +but of the moujik, nourishing, in a particularly stuffy atmosphere, an +intense mysticism and an equally intense thirst for vodka. + +"The Proposal" (1889) and "The Bear" (1890) may be taken as good +examples of the sort of humour admired by the average Russian. The +latter play, in another translation, was put on as a curtain-raiser to a +cinematograph entertainment at a London theatre in 1914; and had quite a +pleasant reception from a thoroughly Philistine audience. The humour is +very nearly of the variety most popular over here, the psychology is a +shade subtler. The Russian novelist or dramatist takes to psychology as +some of his fellow-countrymen take to drink; in doing this he achieves +fame by showing us what we already know, and at the same time he kills +his own creative power. Chekhov just escaped the tragedy of suicide by +introspection, and was only enabled to do this by the possession of +a sense of humour. That is why we should not regard "The Bear," "The +Wedding," or "The Anniversary" as the work of a merely humorous young +man, but as the saving graces which made perfect "The Cherry Orchard." + +"The Three Sisters" (1901) is said to act better than any other of +Chekhov's plays, and should surprise an English audience exceedingly. It +and "The Cherry Orchard" are the tragedies of doing nothing. The three +sisters have only one desire in the world, to go to Moscow and live +there. There is no reason on earth, economic, sentimental, or other, why +they should not pack their bags and take the next train to Moscow. But +they will not do it. They cannot do it. And we know perfectly well that +if they were transplanted thither miraculously, they would be extremely +unhappy as soon as ever the excitement of the miracle had worn off. In +the other play Mme. Ranevsky can be saved from ruin if she will only +consent to a perfectly simple step--the sale of an estate. She cannot do +this, is ruined, and thrown out into the unsympathetic world. Chekhov is +the dramatist, not of action, but of inaction. The tragedy of inaction +is as overwhelming, when we understand it, as the tragedy of an Othello, +or a Lear, crushed by the wickedness of others. The former is being +enacted daily, but we do not stage it, we do not know how. But who +shall deny that the base of almost all human unhappiness is just this +inaction, manifesting itself in slovenliness of thought and execution, +education, and ideal? + +The Russian, painfully conscious of his own weakness, has accepted this +point of view, and regards "The Cherry Orchard" as its master-study in +dramatic form. They speak of the palpitating hush which fell upon the +audience of the Moscow Art Theatre after the first fall of the curtain +at the first performance--a hush so intense as to make Chekhov's friends +undergo the initial emotions of assisting at a vast theatrical failure. +But the silence ryes almost a sob, to be followed, when overcome, by an +epic applause. And, a few months later, Chekhov died. + +This volume and that of Marian Fell--with which it is uniform--contain +all the dramatic works of Chekhov. It considered not worth while to +translate a few fragments published posthumously, or a monologue "On the +Evils of Tobacco"--a half humorous lecture by "the husband of his wife;" +which begins "Ladies, and in some respects, gentlemen," as this is +hardly dramatic work. There is also a very short skit on the efficiency +of provincial fire brigades, which was obviously not intended for the +stage and has therefore been omitted. + +Lastly, the scheme of transliteration employed has been that, generally +speaking, recommended by the Liverpool School of Russian Studies. This +is distinctly the best of those in the field, but as it would compel +one, e.g., to write a popular female name, "Marya," I have not treated +it absolute respect. For the sake of uniformity with Fell's volume, the +author's name is spelt Tchekoff on the title-page and cover. + +J. W. + + +RUSSIAN WEIGHTS AND MEASURES + +AND MONEY EMPLOYED IN THE PLAYS, WITH ENGLISH EQUIVALENTS + + 1 verst = 3600 feet = 2/3 mile (almost) + 1 arshin = 28 inches + 1 dessiatin = 2.7 acres + 1 copeck = 1/4 d + 1 rouble = 100 copecks = 2s. 1d. + + + + + +ON THE HIGH ROAD + +A DRAMATIC STUDY + + +CHARACTERS + + TIHON EVSTIGNEYEV, the proprietor of a inn on the main road + SEMYON SERGEYEVITCH BORTSOV, a ruined landowner + MARIA EGOROVNA, his wife + SAVVA, an aged pilgrim + NAZAROVNA and EFIMOVNA, women pilgrims + FEDYA, a labourer + EGOR MERIK, a tramp + KUSMA, a driver + POSTMAN + BORTSOV'S WIFE'S COACHMAN + PILGRIMS, CATTLE-DEALERS, ETC. + +The action takes place in one of the provinces of Southern Russia + + +[The scene is laid in TIHON'S bar. On the right is the bar-counter and +shelves with bottles. At the back is a door leading out of the house. +Over it, on the outside, hangs a dirty red lantern. The floor and the +forms, which stand against the wall, are closely occupied by pilgrims +and passers-by. Many of them, for lack of space, are sleeping as they +sit. It is late at night. As the curtain rises thunder is heard, and +lightning is seen through the door.] + + +[TIHON is behind the counter. FEDYA is half-lying in a heap on one +of the forms, and is quietly playing on a concertina. Next to him +is BORTSOV, wearing a shabby summer overcoat. SAVVA, NAZAROVNA, and +EFIMOVNA are stretched out on the floor by the benches.] + +EFIMOVNA. [To NAZAROVNA] Give the old man a nudge dear! Can't get any +answer out of him. + +NAZAROVNA. [Lifting the corner of a cloth covering of SAVVA'S face] Are +you alive or are you dead, you holy man? + +SAVVA. Why should I be dead? I'm alive, mother! [Raises himself on his +elbow] Cover up my feet, there's a saint! That's it. A bit more on the +right one. That's it, mother. God be good to us. + +NAZAROVNA. [Wrapping up SAVVA'S feet] Sleep, little father. + +SAVVA. What sleep can I have? If only I had the patience to endure this +pain, mother; sleep's quite another matter. A sinner doesn't deserve to +be given rest. What's that noise, pilgrim-woman? + +NAZAROVNA. God is sending a storm. The wind is wailing, and the rain is +pouring down, pouring down. All down the roof and into the windows like +dried peas. Do you hear? The windows of heaven are opened... [Thunder] +Holy, holy, holy... + +FEDYA. And it roars and thunders, and rages, sad there's no end to +it! Hoooo... it's like the noise of a forest.... Hoooo.... The wind is +wailing like a dog.... [Shrinking back] It's cold! My clothes are wet, +it's all coming in through the open door... you might put me through a +wringer.... [Plays softly] My concertina's damp, and so there's no music +for you, my Orthodox brethren, or else I'd give you such a concert, my +word!--Something marvellous! You can have a quadrille, or a polka, if +you like, or some Russian dance for two.... I can do them all. In the +town, where I was an attendant at the Grand Hotel, I couldn't make any +money, but I did wonders on my concertina. And, I can play the guitar. + +A VOICE FROM THE CORNER. A silly speech from a silly fool. + +FEDYA. I can hear another of them. [Pause.] + +NAZAROVNA. [To SAVVA] If you'd only lie where it was warm now, old man, +and warm your feet. [Pause.] Old man! Man of God! [Shakes SAVVA] Are you +going to die? + +FEDYA. You ought to drink a little vodka, grandfather. Drink, and it'll +burn, burn in your stomach, and warm up your heart. Drink, do! + +NAZAROVNA. Don't swank, young man! Perhaps the old man is giving back +his soul to God, or repenting for his sins, and you talk like that, and +play your concertina.... Put it down! You've no shame! + +FEDYA. And what are you sticking to him for? He can't do anything and +you... with your old women's talk... He can't say a word in reply, and +you're glad, and happy because he's listening to your nonsense.... You +go on sleeping, grandfather; never mind her! Let her talk, don't you +take any notice of her. A woman's tongue is the devil's broom--it will +sweep the good man and the clever man both out of the house. Don't +you mind.... [Waves his hands] But it's thin you are, brother of mine! +Terrible! Like a dead skeleton! No life in you! Are you really dying? + +SAVVA. Why should I die? Save me, O Lord, from dying in vain.... I'll +suffer a little, and then get up with God's help.... The Mother of God +won't let me die in a strange land.... I'll die at home. + +FEDYA. Are you from far off? + +SAVVA. From Vologda. The town itself.... I live there. + +FEDYA. And where is this Vologda? + +TIHON. The other side of Moscow.... + +FEDYA. Well, well, well.... You have come a long way, old man! On foot? + +SAVVA. On foot, young man. I've been to Tihon of the Don, and I'm +going to the Holy Hills. [Note: On the Donetz, south-east of Kharkov; a +monastery containing a miraculous ikon.]... From there, if God wills it, +to Odessa.... They say you can get to Jerusalem cheap from there, for +twenty-ones roubles, they say.... + +FEDYA. And have you been to Moscow? + +SAVVA. Rather! Five times.... + +FEDYA. Is it a good town? [Smokes] Well-standing? + +Sews. There are many holy places there, young man.... Where there are +many holy places it's always a good town.... + +BORTSOV. [Goes up to the counter, to TIHON] Once more, please! For the +sake of Christ, give it to me! + +FEDYA. The chief thing about a town is that it should be clean. If it's +dusty, it must be watered; if it's dirty, it must be cleaned. There +ought to be big houses... a theatre... police... cabs, which... I've +lived in a town myself, I understand. + +BORTSOV. Just a little glass. I'll pay you for it later. + +TIHON. That's enough now. + +BORTSOV. I ask you! Do be kind to me! + +TIHON. Get away! + +BORTSOV. You don't understand me.... Understand me, you fool, if there's +a drop of brain in your peasant's wooden head, that it isn't I who am +asking you, but my inside, using the words you understand, that's what's +asking! My illness is what's asking! Understand! + +TIHON. We don't understand anything.... Get back! + +BORTSOV. Because if I don't have a drink at once, just you understand +this, if I don't satisfy my needs, I may commit some crime. God only +knows what I might do! In the time you've kept this place, you rascal, +haven't you seen a lot of drunkards, and haven't you yet got to +understand what they're like? They're diseased! You can do anything you +like to them, but you must give them vodka! Well, now, I implore you! +Please! I humbly ask you! God only knows how humbly! + +TIHON. You can have the vodka if you pay for it. + +BORTSOV. Where am I to get the money? I've drunk it all! Down to the +ground! What can I give you? I've only got this coat, but I can't give +you that. I've nothing on underneath.... Would you like my cap? [Takes +it off and gives it to TIHON] + +TIHON. [Looks it over] Hm.... There are all sorts of caps.... It might +be a sieve from the holes in it.... + +FEDYA. [Laughs] A gentleman's cap! You've got to take it off in front of +the mam'selles. How do you do, good-bye! How are you? + +TIHON. [Returns the cap to BORTSOV] I wouldn't give anything for it. +It's muck. + +BORTSOV. If you don't like it, then let me owe you for the drink! I'll +bring in your five copecks on my way back from town. You can take it and +choke yourself with it then! Choke yourself! I hope it sticks in your +throat! [Coughs] I hate you! + +TIHON. [Banging the bar-counter with his fist] Why do you keep on like +that? What a man! What are you here for, you swindler? + +BORTSOV. I want a drink! It's not I, it's my disease! Understand that! + +TIHON. Don't you make me lose my temper, or you'll soon find yourself +outside! + +BORTSOV. What am I to do? [Retires from the bar-counter] What am I to +do? [Is thoughtful.] + +EFIMOVNA. It's the devil tormenting you. Don't you mind him, sir. The +damned one keeps whispering, "Drink! Drink!" And you answer him, "I +shan't drink! I shan't drink!" He'll go then. + +FEDYA. It's drumming in his head.... His stomach's leading him on! +[Laughs] Your houour's a happy man. Lie down and go to sleep! What's the +use of standing like a scarecrow in the middle of the inn! This isn't an +orchard! + +BORTSOV. [Angrily] Shut up! Nobody spoke to you, you donkey. + +FEDYA. Go on, go on! We've seen the like of you before! There's a lot +like you tramping the high road! As to being a donkey, you wait till +I've given you a clout on the ear and you'll howl worse than the wind. +Donkey yourself! Fool! [Pause] Scum! + +NAZAROVNA. The old man may be saying a prayer, or giving up his soul +to God, and here are these unclean ones wrangling with one another and +saying all sorts of... Have shame on yourselves! + +FEDYA. Here, you cabbage-stalk, you keep quiet, even if you are in a +public-house. Just you behave like everybody else. + +BORTSOV. What am I to do? What will become of me? How can I make him +understand? What else can I say to him? [To TIHON] The blood's boiling +in my chest! Uncle Tihon! [Weeps] Uncle Tihon! + +SAWA. [Groans] I've got shooting-pains in my leg, like bullets of +fire.... Little mother, pilgrim. + +EFIMOVNA. What is it, little father? + +SAVVA. Who's that crying? + +EFIMOVNA. The gentleman. + +SAVVA. Ask him to shed a tear for me, that I might die in Vologda. +Tearful prayers are heard. + +BORTSOV. I'm not praying, grandfather! These aren't tears! Just juice! +My soul is crushed; and the juice is running. [Sits by SAVVA] Juice! +But you wouldn't understand! You, with your darkened brain, wouldn't +understand. You people are all in the dark! + +SAVVA. Where will you find those who live in the light? + +BORTSOV. They do exist, grandfather.... They would understand! + +SAVVA. Yes, yes, dear friend.... The saints lived in the light.... They +understood all our griefs.... You needn't even tell them.... and they'll +understand.... Just by looking at your eyes.... And then you'll have +such peace, as if you were never in grief at all--it will all go! + +FEDYA. And have you ever seen any saints? + +SAVVA. It has happened, young man.... There are many of all sorts on +this earth. Sinners, and servants of God. + +BORTSOV. I don't understand all this.... [Gets up quickly] What's the +use of talking when you don't understand, and what sort of a brain have +I now? I've only an instinct, a thirst! [Goes quickly to the counter] +Tihon, take my coat! Understand? [Tries to take it off] My coat... + +TIHON. And what is there under your coat? [Looks under it] Your naked +body? Don't take it off, I shan't have it.... I'm not going to burden my +soul with a sin. + +[Enter MERIK.] + +BORTSOV. Very well, I'll take the sin on myself! Do you agree? + +MERIK. [In silence takes of his outer cloak and remains in a sleeveless +jacket. He carries an axe in his belt] A vagrant may sweat where a bear +will freeze. I am hot. [Puts his axe on the floor and takes off his +jacket] You get rid of a pailful of sweat while you drag one leg out of +the mud. And while you are dragging it out, the other one goes farther +in. + +EFIMOVNA. Yes, that's true... is the rain stopping, dear? + +MERIK. [Glancing at EFIMOVNA] I don't talk to old women. [A pause.] + +BORTSOV. [To TIHON] I'll take the sin on myself. Do you hear me or don't +you? + +TIHON. I don't want to hear you, get away! + +MERIK. It's as dark as if the sky was painted with pitch. You can't +see your own nose. And the rain beats into your face like a snowstorm! +[Picks up his clothes and axe.] + +FEDYA. It's a good thing for the likes of us thieves. When the cat's +away the mice will play. + +MERIK. Who says that? + +FEDYA. Look and see... before you forget. + +MERIN. We'll make a note of it.... [Goes up to TIHON] How do you do, you +with the large face! Don't you remember me. + +TIHON. If I'm to remember every one of you drunkards that walks the high +road, I reckon I'd need ten holes in my forehead. + +MERIK. Just look at me.... [A pause.] + +TIHON. Oh, yes; I remember. I knew you by your eyes! [Gives him his +hand] Andrey Polikarpov? + +MERIK. I used to be Andrey Polikarpov, but now I am Egor Merik. + +TIHON. Why's that? + +MERIK. I call myself after whatever passport God gives me. I've been +Merik for two months. [Thunder] Rrrr.... Go on thundering, I'm not +afraid! [Looks round] Any police here? + +TIHON. What are you talking about, making mountains out of +mole-hills?... The people here are all right... The police are fast +asleep in their feather beds now.... [Loudly] Orthodox brothers, mind +your pockets and your clothes, or you'll have to regret it. The man's a +rascal! He'll rob you! + +MERIK. They can look out for their money, but as to their clothes--I +shan't touch them. I've nowhere to take them. + +TIHON. Where's the devil taking you to? + +MERIK. To Kuban. + +TIHON. My word! + +FEDYA. To Kuban? Really? [Sitting up] It's a fine place. You wouldn't +see such a country, brother, if you were to fall asleep and dream for +three years. They say the birds there, and the beasts are--my God! The +grass grows all the year round, the people are good, and they've so much +land they don't know what to do with it! The authorities, they say... a +soldier was telling me the other day... give a hundred dessiatins ahead. +There's happiness, God strike me! + +MERIK. Happiness.... Happiness goes behind you.... You don't see it. +It's as near as your elbow is, but you can't bite it. It's all +silly.... [Looking round at the benches and the people] Like a lot of +prisoners.... A poor lot. + +EFIMOVNA. [To MERIK] What great, angry, eyes! There's an enemy in you, +young man.... Don't you look at us! + +MERIK. Yes, you're a poor lot here. + +EFIMOVNA. Turn away! [Nudges SAVVA] Savva, darling, a wicked man is +looking at us. He'll do us harm, dear. [To MERIK] Turn away, I tell you, +you snake! + +SAVVA. He won't touch us, mother, he won't touch us.... God won't let +him. + +MERIK. All right, Orthodox brothers! [Shrugs his shoulders] Be quiet! +You aren't asleep, you bandy-legged fools! Why don't you say something? + +EFIMOVNA. Take your great eyes away! Take away that devil's own pride! + +MERIK. Be quiet, you crooked old woman! I didn't come with the devil's +pride, but with kind words, wishing to honour your bitter lot! You're +huddled together like flies because of the cold--I'd be sorry for you, +speak kindly to you, pity your poverty, and here you go grumbling away! +[Goes up to FEDYA] Where are you from? + +FEDYA. I live in these parts. I work at the Khamonyevsky brickworks. + +MERIK. Get up. + +FEDYA. [Raising himself] Well? + +MERIK. Get up, right up. I'm going to lie down here. + +FEDYA. What's that.... It isn't your place, is it? + +MERIK. Yes, mine. Go and lie on the ground! + +FEDYA. You get out of this, you tramp. I'm not afraid of you. + +MERIK. You're very quick with your tongue.... Get up, and don't talk +about it! You'll be sorry for it, you silly. + +TIHON. [To FEDYA] Don't contradict him, young man. Never mind. + +FEDYA. What right have you? You stick out your fishy eyes and think +I'm afraid! [Picks up his belongings and stretches himself out on the +ground] You devil! [Lies down and covers himself all over.] + +MERIK. [Stretching himself out on the bench] I don't expect you've ever +seen a devil or you wouldn't call me one. Devils aren't like that. [Lies +down, putting his axe next to him.] Lie down, little brother axe... let +me cover you. + +TIHON. Where did you get the axe from? + +MERIK. Stole it.... Stole it, and now I've got to fuss over it like a +child with a new toy; I don't like to throw it away, and I've nowhere to +put it. Like a beastly wife.... Yes.... [Covering himself over] Devils +aren't like that, brother. + +FEDYA. [Uncovering his head] What are they like? + +MERIK. Like steam, like air.... Just blow into the air. [Blows] They're +like that, you can't see them. + +A VOICE FROM THE CORNER. You can see them if you sit under a harrow. + +MERIK. I've tried, but I didn't see any.... Old women's tales, and silly +old men's, too.... You won't see a devil or a ghost or a corpse.... Our +eyes weren't made so that we could see everything.... When I was a boy, +I used to walk in the woods at night on purpose to see the demon of the +woods.... I'd shout and shout, and there might be some spirit, I'd call +for the demon of the woods and not blink my eyes: I'd see all sorts of +little things moving about, but no demon. I used to go and walk about +the churchyards at night, I wanted to see the ghosts--but the women lie. +I saw all sorts of animals, but anything awful--not a sign. Our eyes +weren't... + +THE VOICE FROM THE CORNER. Never mind, it does happen that you +do see.... In our village a man was gutting a wild boar... he was +separating the tripe when... something jumped out at him! + +SAVVA. [Raising himself] Little children, don't talk about these unclean +things! It's a sin, dears! + +MERIK. Aaa... greybeard! You skeleton! [Laughs] You needn't go to the +churchyard to see ghosts, when they get up from under the floor to give +advice to their relations.... A sin!... Don't you teach people your +silly notions! You're an ignorant lot of people living in darkness.... +[Lights his pipe] My father was peasant and used to be fond of teaching +people. One night he stole a sack of apples from the village priest, and +he brings them along and tells us, "Look, children, mind you don't eat +any apples before Easter, it's a sin." You're like that.... You don't +know what a devil is, but you go calling people devils.... Take this +crooked old woman, for instance. [Points to EFIMOVNA] She sees an enemy +in me, but is her time, for some woman's nonsense or other, she's given +her soul to the devil five times. + +EFIMOVNA. Hoo, hoo, hoo.... Gracious heavens! [Covers her face] Little +Savva! + +TIHON. What are you frightening them for? A great pleasure! [The door +slams in the wind] Lord Jesus.... The wind, the wind! + +MERIK. [Stretching himself] Eh, to show my strength! [The door slams +again] If I could only measure myself against the wind! Shall I tear the +door down, or suppose I tear up the inn by the roots! [Gets up and lies +down again] How dull! + +NAZAROVNA. You'd better pray, you heathen! Why are you so restless? + +EFIMOVNA. Don't speak to him, leave him alone! He's looking at us again. +[To MERIK] Don't look at us, evil man! Your eyes are like the eyes of a +devil before cockcrow! + +SAVVA. Let him look, pilgrims! You pray, and his eyes won't do you any +harm. + +BORTSOV. No, I can't. It's too much for my strength! [Goes up to the +counter] Listen, Tihon, I ask you for the last time.... Just half a +glass! + +TIHON. [Shakes his head] The money! + +BORTSOV. My God, haven't I told you! I've drunk it all! Where am I to +get it? And you won't go broke even if you do let me have a drop of +vodka on tick. A glass of it only costs you two copecks, and it will +save me from suffering! I am suffering! Understand! I'm in misery, I'm +suffering! + +TIHON. Go and tell that to someone else, not to me.... Go and ask the +Orthodox, perhaps they'll give you some for Christ's sake, if they feel +like it, but I'll only give bread for Christ's sake. + +BORTSOV. You can rob those wretches yourself, I shan't.... I won't do +it! I won't! Understand? [Hits the bar-counter with his fist] I won't. +[A pause.] Hm... just wait.... [Turns to the pilgrim women] It's an +idea, all the same, Orthodox ones! Spare five copecks! My inside asks +for it. I'm ill! + +FEDYA. Oh, you swindler, with your "spare five copecks." Won't you have +some water? + +BORTSOV. How I am degrading myself! I don't want it! I don't want +anything! I was joking! + +MERIK. You won't get it out of him, sir.... He's a famous skinflint.... +Wait, I've got a five-copeck piece somewhere.... We'll have a glass +between us--half each [Searches in his pockets] The devil... it's lost +somewhere.... Thought I heard it tinkling just now in my pocket.... No; +no, it isn't there, brother, it's your luck! [A pause.] + +BORTSOV. But if I can't drink, I'll commit a crime or I'll kill +myself.... What shall I do, my God! [Looks through the door] Shall I go +out, then? Out into this darkness, wherever my feet take me.... + +MERIK. Why don't you give him a sermon, you pilgrims? And you, Tihon, +why don't you drive him out? He hasn't paid you for his night's +accommodation. Chuck him out! Eh, the people are cruel nowadays. There's +no gentleness or kindness in them.... A savage people! A man is drowning +and they shout to him: "Hurry up and drown, we've got no time to look +at you; we've got to go to work." As to throwing him a rope--there's no +worry about that.... A rope would cost money. + +SAVVA. Don't talk, kind man! + +MERIK. Quiet, old wolf! You're a savage race! Herods! Sellers of your +souls! [To TIHON] Come here, take off my boots! Look sharp now! + +TIHON. Eh, he's let himself go I [Laughs] Awful, isn't it. + +MERIK. Go on, do as you're told! Quick now! [Pause] Do you hear me, or +don't you? Am I talking to you or the wall? [Stands up] + +TIHON. Well... give over. + +MERIK. I want you, you fleecer, to take the boots off me, a poor tramp. + +TIHON. Well, well... don't get excited. Here have a glass.... Have a +drink, now! + +MERIK. People, what do I want? Do I want him to stand me vodka, or to +take off my boots? Didn't I say it properly? [To TIHON] Didn't you hear +me rightly? I'll wait a moment, perhaps you'll hear me then. + +[There is excitement among the pilgrims and tramps, who half-raise +themselves in order to look at TIHON and MERIK. They wait in silence.] + +TIHON. The devil brought you here! [Comes out from behind the bar] What +a gentleman! Come on now. [Takes off MERIK'S boots] You child of Cain... + +MERIK. That's right. Put them side by side.... Like that... you can go +now! + +TIHON. [Returns to the bar-counter] You're too fond of being clever. You +do it again and I'll turn you out of the inn! Yes! [To BORTSOV, who is +approaching] You, again? + +BORTSOV. Look here, suppose I give you something made of gold.... I will +give it to you. + +TIHON. What are you shaking for? Talk sense! + +BORTSOV. It may be mean and wicked on my part, but what am I to do? I'm +doing this wicked thing, not reckoning on what's to come.... If I was +tried for it, they'd let me off. Take it, only on condition that you +return it later, when I come back from town. I give it to you in front +of these witnesses. You will be my witnesses! [Takes a gold medallion +out from the breast of his coat] Here it is.... I ought to take the +portrait out, but I've nowhere to put it; I'm wet all over.... Well, +take the portrait, too! Only mind this... don't let your fingers touch +that face.... Please... I was rude to you, my dear fellow, I was a fool, +but forgive me and... don't touch it with your fingers.... Don't look at +that face with your eyes. [Gives TIHON the medallion.] + +TIHON. [Examining it] Stolen property.... All right, then, drink.... +[Pours out vodka] Confound you. + +BORTSOV. Only don't you touch it... with your fingers. [Drinks slowly, +with feverish pauses.] + +TIHON. [Opens the medallion] Hm... a lady!... Where did you get hold of +this? + +MERIK. Let's have a look. [Goes to the bar] Let's see. + +TIHON. [Pushes his hand away] Where are you going to? You look somewhere +else! + +FEDYA. [Gets up and comes to TIHON] I want to look too! + +[Several of the tramps, etc., approach the bar and form a group. MERIK +grips TIHON's hand firmly with both his, looks at the portrait, in the +medallion in silence. A pause.] + +MERIK. A pretty she-devil. A real lady.... + +FEDYA. A real lady.... Look at her cheeks, her eyes.... Open your hand, +I can't see. Hair coming down to her waist.... It is lifelike! She might +be going to say something.... [Pause.] + +MERIK. It's destruction for a weak man. A woman like that gets a hold on +one and... [Waves his hand] you're done for! + +[KUSMA'S voice is heard. "Trrr.... Stop, you brutes!" Enter KUSMA.] + +KUSMA. There stands an inn upon my way. Shall I drive or walk past it, +say? You can pass your own father and not notice him, but you can see an +inn in the dark a hundred versts away. Make way, if you believe in God! +Hullo, there! [Planks a five-copeck piece down on the counter] A glass +of real Madeira! Quick! + +FEDYA. Oh, you devil! + +TIHON. Don't wave your arms about, or you'll hit somebody. + +KUSMA. God gave us arms to wave about. Poor sugary things, you're +half-melted. You're frightened of the rain, poor delicate things. +[Drinks.] + +EFIMOVNA. You may well get frightened, good man, if you're caught on +your way in a night like this. Now, thank God, it's all right, there +are many villages and houses where you can shelter from the weather, but +before that there weren't any. Oh, Lord, it was bad! You walk a hundred +versts, and not only isn't there a village; or a house, but you don't +even see a dry stick. So you sleep on the ground.... + +KUSMA. Have you been long on this earth, old woman? + +EFIMOVNA. Over seventy years, little father. + +KUSMA. Over seventy years! You'll soon come to crow's years. [Looks at +BORTSOV] And what sort of a raisin is this? [Staring at BORTSOV] Sir! +[BORTSOV recognizes KUSMA and retires in confusion to a corner of the +room, where he sits on a bench] Semyon Sergeyevitch! Is that you, or +isn't it? Eh? What are you doing in this place? It's not the sort of +place for you, is it? + +BORTSOV. Be quiet! + +MERIK. [To KUSMA] Who is it? + +KUSMA. A miserable sufferer. [Paces irritably by the counter] Eh? In an +inn, my goodness! Tattered! Drunk! I'm upset, brothers... upset.... +[To MERIK, in an undertone] It's my master... our landlord. Semyon +Sergeyevitch and Mr. Bortsov.... Have you ever seen such a state? What +does he look like? Just... it's the drink that brought him to this.... +Give me some more! [Drinks] I come from his village, Bortsovka; you may +have heard of it, it's 200 versts from here, in the Ergovsky district. +We used to be his father's serfs.... What a shame! + +MERIK. Was he rich? + +KUSMA. Very. + +MERIK. Did he drink it all? + +KUSMA. No, my friend, it was something else.... He used to be great and +rich and sober.... [To TIHON] Why you yourself used to see him riding, +as he used to, past this inn, on his way to the town. Such bold and +noble horses! A carriage on springs, of the best quality! He used to +own five troikas, brother.... Five years ago, I remember, he cam here +driving two horses from Mikishinsky, and he paid with a five-rouble +piece.... I haven't the time, he says, to wait for the change.... There! + +MERIK. His brain's gone, I suppose. + +KUSMA. His brain's all right.... It all happened because of his +cowardice! From too much fat. First of all, children, because of a +woman.... He fell in love with a woman of the town, and it seemed to him +that there wasn't any more beautiful thing in the wide world. A fool may +love as much as a wise man. The girl's people were all right.... But +she wasn't exactly loose, but just... giddy... always changing her mind! +Always winking at one! Always laughing and laughing.... No sense at all. +The gentry like that, they think that's nice, but we moujiks would soon +chuck her out.... Well, he fell in love, and his luck ran out. He began +to keep company with her, one thing led to another... they used to go +out in a boat all night, and play pianos.... + +BORTSOV. Don't tell them, Kusma! Why should you? What has my life got to +do with them? + +KUSMA. Forgive me, your honour, I'm only telling them a little... what +does it matter, anyway.... I'm shaking all over. Pour out some more. +[Drinks.] + +MERIK. [In a semitone] And did she love him? + +KUSMA. [In a semitone which gradually becomes his ordinary voice] How +shouldn't she? He was a man of means.... Of course you'll fall in love +when the man has a thousand dessiatins and money to burn.... He was a +solid, dignified, sober gentleman... always the same, like this... give +me your hand [Takes MERIK'S hand] "How do you do and good-bye, do me +the favour." Well, I was going one evening past his garden--and what a +garden, brother, versts of it--I was going along quietly, and I look and +see the two of them sitting on a seat and kissing each other. [Imitates +the sound] He kisses her once, and the snake gives him back two.... He +was holding her white, little hand, and she was all fiery and kept on +getting closer and closer, too.... "I love you," she says. And he, like +one of the damned, walks about from one place to another and brags, +the coward, about his happiness.... Gives one man a rouble, and two to +another.... Gives me money for a horse. Let off everybody's debts.... + +BORTSOV. Oh, why tell them all about it? These people haven't any +sympathy.... It hurts! + +KUSMA. It's nothing, sir! They asked me! Why shouldn't I tell them? +But if you are angry I won't... I won't.... What do I care for them.... +[Post-bells are heard.] + +FEDYA. Don't shout; tell us quietly.... + +KUSMA. I'll tell you quietly.... He doesn't want me to, but it can't be +helped.... But there's nothing more to tell. They got married, that's +all. There was nothing else. Pour out another drop for Kusma the stony! +[Drinks] I don't like people getting drunk! Why the time the wedding +took place, when the gentlefolk sat down to supper afterwards, she went +off in a carriage... [Whispers] To the town, to her lover, a lawyer.... +Eh? What do you think of her now? Just at the very moment! She would be +let off lightly if she were killed for it! + +MERIK. [Thoughtfully] Well... what happened then? + +KUSMA. He went mad.... As you see, he started with a fly, as they say, +and now it's grown to a bumble-bee. It was a fly then, and now--it's +a bumble-bee.... And he still loves her. Look at him, he loves her! I +expect he's walking now to the town to get a glimpse of her with one +eye.... He'll get a glimpse of her, and go back.... + +[The post has driven up to the in.. The POSTMAN enters and has a drink.] + +TIHON. The post's late to-day! + +[The POSTMAN pays in silence and goes out. The post drives off, the +bells ringing.] + +A VOICE FROM THE CORNER. One could rob the post in weather like +this--easy as spitting. + +MERIK. I've been alive thirty-five years and I haven't robbed the post +once.... [Pause] It's gone now... too late, too late.... + +KUSMA. Do you want to smell the inside of a prison? + +MERIK. People rob and don't go to prison. And if I do go! [Suddenly] +What else? + +KUSMA. Do you mean that unfortunate? + +MERIK. Who else? + +KUSMA. The second reason, brothers, why he was ruined was because of +his brother-in-law, his sister's husband.... He took it into his head to +stand surety at the bank for 30,000 roubles for his brother-in-law. The +brother-in-law's a thief.... The swindler knows which side his bread's +buttered and won't budge an inch.... So he doesn't pay up.... So our man +had to pay up the whole thirty thousand. [Sighs] The fool is suffering +for his folly. His wife's got children now by the lawyer and the +brother-in-law has bought an estate near Poltava, and our man goes +round inns like a fool, and complains to the likes of us: "I've lost all +faith, brothers! I can't believe in anybody now!" It's cowardly! Every +man has his grief, a snake that sucks at his heart, and does that mean +that he must drink? Take our village elder, for example. His wife plays +about with the schoolmaster in broad daylight, and spends his money on +drink, but the elder walks about smiling to himself. He's just a little +thinner... + +TIHON. [Sighs] When God gives a man strength.... + +KUSMA. There's all sorts of strength, that's true.... Well? How much +does it come to? [Pays] Take your pound of flesh! Good-bye, children! +Good-night and pleasant dreams! It's time I hurried off. I'm bringing +my lady a midwife from the hospital.... She must be getting wet with +waiting, poor thing.... [Runs out. A pause.] + +TIHON. Oh, you! Unhappy man, come and drink this! [Pours out.] + +BORTSOV. [Comes up to the bar hesitatingly and drinks] That means I now +owe you for two glasses. + +TIHON. You don't owe me anything? Just drink and drown your sorrows! + +FEDYA. Drink mine, too, sir! Oh! [Throws down a five-copeck piece] If +you drink, you die; if you don't drink, you die. It's good not to drink +vodka, but by God you're easier when you've got some! Vodka takes grief +away.... It is hot! + +BORTSOV. Boo! The heat! + +MERIK. Dive it here! [Takes the medallion from TIHON and examines her +portrait] Hm. Ran off after the wedding. What a woman! + +A VOICE FROM THE CORNER. Pour him out another glass, Tihon. Let him +drink mine, too. + +MERIK. [Dashes the medallion to the ground] Curse her! [Goes quickly to +his place and lies down, face to the wall. General excitement.] + +BORTSOV. Here, what's that? [Picks up the medallion] How dare you, you +beast? What right have you? [Tearfully] Do you want me to kill you? You +moujik! You boor! + +TIHON. Don't be angry, sir.... It isn't glass, it isn't broken.... Have +another drink and go to sleep. [Pours out] Here I've been listening to +you all, and when I ought to have locked up long ago. [Goes and looks +door leading out.] + +BORTSOV. [Drinks] How dare he? The fool! [to MERIK] Do you understand? +You're a fool, a donkey! + +SAVVA. Children! If you please! Stop that talking! What's the good of +making a noise? Let people go to sleep. + +TIHON. Lie down, lie down... be quiet! [Goes behind the counter and +locks the till] It's time to sleep. + +FEDYA. It's time! [Lies down] Pleasant dreams, brothers! + +MERIK. [Gets up and spreads his short fur and coat the bench] Come on, +lie down, sir. + +TIHON. And where will you sleep. + +MERIK. Oh, anywhere.... The floor will do.... [Spreads a coat on the +floor] It's all one to me [Puts the axe by him] It would be torture for +him to sleep on the floor. He's used to silk and down.... + +TIHON. [To BORTSOV] Lie down, your honour! You've looked at that +portrait long enough. [Puts out a candle] Throw it away! + +BORTSOV. [Swaying about] Where can I lie down? + +TIHON. In the tramp's place! Didn't you hear him giving it up to you? + +BORTSOV. [Going up to the vacant place] I'm a bit... drunk... after all +that.... Is this it?... Do I lie down here? Eh? + +TIHON. Yes, yes, lie down, don't be afraid. [Stretches himself out on +the counter.] + +BORTSOV. [Lying down] I'm... drunk.... Everything's going round.... +[Opens the medallion] Haven't you a little candle? [Pause] You're +a queer little woman Masha.... Looking at me out of the frame and +laughing.... [Laughs] I'm drunk! And should you laugh at a man because +he's drunk? You look out, as Schastlivtsev says, and... love the +drunkard. + +FEDYA. How the wind howls. It's dreary! + +BORTSOV. [Laughs] What a woman.... Why do you keep on going round? I +can't catch you! + +MERIK. He's wandering. Looked too long at the portrait. [Laughs] What +a business! Educated people go and invent all sorts of machines and +medicines, but there hasn't yet been a man wise enough to invent a +medicine against the female sex.... They try to cure every sort of +disease, and it never occurs to them that more people die of women +than of disease.... Sly, stingy, cruel, brainless.... The mother-in-law +torments the bride and the bride makes things square by swindling the +husband... and there's no end to it.... + +TIHON. The women have ruffled his hair for him, and so he's bristly. + +MERIK. It isn't only I.... From the beginning of the ages, since the +world has been in existence, people have complained.... It's not for +nothing that in the songs and stories, the devil and the woman are put +side by side.... Not for nothing! It's half true, at any rate... [Pause] +Here's the gentleman playing the fool, but I had more sense, didn't I, +when I left my father and mother, and became a tramp? + +FEDYA. Because of women? + +MERIK. Just like the gentleman... I walked about like one of the damned, +bewitched, blessing my stars... on fire day and night, until at last my +eyes were opened... It wasn't love, but just a fraud.... + +FEDYA. What did you do to her? + +MERIK. Never you mind.... [Pause] Do you think I killed her?... I +wouldn't do it.... If you kill, you are sorry for it.... She can live +and be happy! If only I'd never set eyes on you, or if I could only +forget you, you viper's brood! [A knocking at the door.] + +TIHON. Whom have the devils brought.... Who's there? [Knocking] Who +knocks? [Gets up and goes to the door] Who knocks? Go away, we've locked +up! + +A VOICE. Please let me in, Tihon. The carriage-spring's broken! Be a +father to me and help me! If I only had a little string to tie it round +with, we'd get there somehow or other. + +TIHON. Who are you? + +THE VOICE. My lady is going to Varsonofyev from the town.... It's only +five versts farther on.... Do be a good man and help! + +TIHON. Go and tell the lady that if she pays ten roubles she can have +her string and we'll mend the spring. + +THE VOICE. Have you gone mad, or what? Ten roubles! You mad dog! +Profiting by our misfortunes! + +TIHON. Just as you like.... You needn't if you don't want to. + +THE VOICE. Very well, wait a bit. [Pause] She says, all right. + +TIHON. Pleased to hear it! + +[Opens door. The COACHMAN enters.] + +COACHMAN. Good evening, Orthodox people! Well, give me the string! +Quick! Who'll go and help us, children? There'll be something left over +for your trouble! + +TIHON. There won't be anything left over.... Let them sleep, the two of +us can manage. + +COACHMAN. Foo, I am tired! It's cold, and there's not a dry spot in all +the mud.... Another thing, dear.... Have you got a little room in here +for the lady to warm herself in? The carriage is all on one side, she +can't stay in it.... + +TIHON. What does she want a room for? She can warm herself in here, if +she's cold.... We'll find a place [Clears a space next to BORTSOV] Get +up, get up! Just lie on the floor for an hour, and let the lady get +warm. [To BORTSOV] Get up, your honour! Sit up! [BORTSOV sits up] Here's +a place for you. [Exit COACHMAN.] + +FEDYA. Here's a visitor for you, the devil's brought her! Now there'll +be no sleep before daylight. + +TIHON. I'm sorry I didn't ask for fifteen.... She'd have given them.... +[Stands expectantly before the door] You're a delicate sort of people, I +must say. [Enter MARIA EGOROVNA, followed by the COACHMAN. TIHON bows.] +Please, your highness! Our room is very humble, full of blackbeetles! +But don't disdain it! + +MARIA EGOROVNA. I can't see anything.... Which way do I go? + +TIHON. This way, your highness! [Leads her to the place next to BORTSOV] +This way, please. [Blows on the place] I haven't any separate rooms, +excuse me, but don't you be afraid, madam, the people here are good and +quiet.... + +MARIA EGOROVNA. [Sits next to BORTSOV] How awfully stuffy! Open the +door, at any rate! + +TIHON. Yes, madam. [Runs and opens the door wide.] + +MARIA. We're freezing, and you open the door! [Gets up and slams it] Who +are you to be giving orders? [Lies down] + +TIHON. Excuse me, your highness, but we've a little fool here... a bit +cracked.... But don't you be frightened, he won't do you any harm.... +Only you must excuse me, madam, I can't do this for ten roubles.... Make +it fifteen. + +MARIA EGOROVNA. Very well, only be quick. + +TIHON. This minute... this very instant. [Drags some string out from +under the counter] This minute. [A pause.] + +BORTSOV. [Looking at MARIA EGOROVNA] Marie... Masha... + +MARIA EGOROVNA. [Looks at BORTSOV] What's this? + +BORTSOV. Marie... is it you? Where do you come from? [MARIA EGOROVNA +recognizes BORTSOV, screams and runs off into the centre of the floor. +BORTSOV follows] Marie, it is I... I [Laughs loudly] My wife! Marie! +Where am I? People, a light! + +MARIA EGOROVNA. Get away from me! You lie, it isn't you! It can't be! +[Covers her face with her hands] It's a lie, it's all nonsense! + +BORTSOV. Her voice, her movements.... Marie, it is I! I'll stop in +a moment.... I was drunk.... My head's going round.... My God! Stop, +stop.... I can't understand anything. [Yells] My wife! [Falls at her +feet and sobs. A group collects around the husband and wife.] + +MARIA EGOROVNA. Stand back! [To the COACHMAN] Denis, let's go! I can't +stop here any longer! + +MERIK. [Jumps up and looks her steadily in the face] The portrait! +[Grasps her hand] It is she! Eh, people, she's the gentleman's wife! + +MARIA EGOROVNA. Get away, fellow! [Tries to tear her hand away from him] +Denis, why do you stand there staring? [DENIS and TIHON run up to her +and get hold of MERIK'S arms] This thieves' kitchen! Let go my hand! I'm +not afraid!... Get away from me! + +MERIK. [Note: Throughout this speech, in the original, Merik uses the +familiar second person singular.] Wait a bit, and I'll let go.... Just +let me say one word to you.... One word, so that you may understand.... +Just wait.... [Turns to TIHON and DENIS] Get away, you rogues, let go! I +shan't let you go till I've had my say! Stop... one moment. [Strikes +his forehead with his fist] No, God hasn't given me the wisdom! I can't +think of the word for you! + +MARIA EGOROVNA. [Tears away her hand] Get away! Drunkards... let's go, +Denis! + +[She tries to go out, but MERIK blocks the door.] + +MERIK. Just throw a glance at him, with only one eye if you like! Or say +only just one kind little word to him! God's own sake! + +MARIA EGOROVNA. Take away this... fool. + +MERIK. Then the devil take you, you accursed woman! + +[He swings his axe. General confusion. Everybody jumps up noisily and +with cries of horror. SAVVA stands between MERIK and MARIA EGOROVNA.... +DENIS forces MERIK to one side and carries out his mistress. After this +all stand as if turned to stone. A prolonged pause. BORTSOV suddenly +waves his hands in the air.] + +BORTSOV. Marie... where are you, Marie! + +NAZAROVNA. My God, my God! You've torn up my your murderers! What an +accursed night! + +MERIK. [Lowering his hand; he still holds the axe] Did I kill her or no? + + HIGH ROAD + +TIHON. Thank God, your head is safe.... + +MERIK. Then I didn't kill her.... [Totters to his bed] Fate hasn't sent +me to my death because of a stolen axe.... [Falls down and sobs] Woe! +Woe is me! Have pity on me, Orthodox people! + +Curtain. + + + + + +THE PROPOSAL + + +CHARACTERS + + STEPAN STEPANOVITCH CHUBUKOV, a landowner + NATALYA STEPANOVNA, his daughter, twenty-five years old + IVAN VASSILEVITCH LOMOV, a neighbour of Chubukov, a large and + hearty, but very suspicious landowner + +The scene is laid at CHUBUKOV's country-house + + +A drawing-room in CHUBUKOV'S house. + +[LOMOV enters, wearing a dress-jacket and white gloves. CHUBUKOV rises +to meet him.] + +CHUBUKOV. My dear fellow, whom do I see! Ivan Vassilevitch! I am +extremely glad! [Squeezes his hand] Now this is a surprise, my +darling... How are you? + +LOMOV. Thank you. And how may you be getting on? + +CHUBUKOV. We just get along somehow, my angel, to your prayers, and +so on. Sit down, please do.... Now, you know, you shouldn't forget all +about your neighbours, my darling. My dear fellow, why are you so formal +in your get-up? Evening dress, gloves, and so on. Can you be going +anywhere, my treasure? + +LOMOV. No, I've come only to see you, honoured Stepan Stepanovitch. + +CHUBUKOV. Then why are you in evening dress, my precious? As if you're +paying a New Year's Eve visit! + +LOMOV. Well, you see, it's like this. [Takes his arm] I've come to you, +honoured Stepan Stepanovitch, to trouble you with a request. Not once or +twice have I already had the privilege of applying to you for help, and +you have always, so to speak... I must ask your pardon, I am getting +excited. I shall drink some water, honoured Stepan Stepanovitch. +[Drinks.] + +CHUBUKOV. [Aside] He's come to borrow money! Shan't give him any! +[Aloud] What is it, my beauty? + +LOMOV. You see, Honour Stepanitch... I beg pardon, Stepan Honouritch... +I mean, I'm awfully excited, as you will please notice.... In short, you +alone can help me, though I don't deserve it, of course... and haven't +any right to count on your assistance.... + +CHUBUKOV. Oh, don't go round and round it, darling! Spit it out! Well? + +LOMOV. One moment... this very minute. The fact is, I've come to ask the +hand of your daughter, Natalya Stepanovna, in marriage. + +CHUBUKOV. [Joyfully] By Jove! Ivan Vassilevitch! Say it again--I didn't +hear it all! + +LOMOV. I have the honour to ask... + +CHUBUKOV. [Interrupting] My dear fellow... I'm so glad, and so on.... +Yes, indeed, and all that sort of thing. [Embraces and kisses LOMOV] +I've been hoping for it for a long time. It's been my continual desire. +[Sheds a tear] And I've always loved you, my angel, as if you were my +own son. May God give you both His help and His love and so on, and I +did so much hope... What am I behaving in this idiotic way for? I'm off +my balance with joy, absolutely off my balance! Oh, with all my soul... +I'll go and call Natasha, and all that. + +LOMOV. [Greatly moved] Honoured Stepan Stepanovitch, do you think I may +count on her consent? + +CHUBUKOV. Why, of course, my darling, and... as if she won't consent! +She's in love; egad, she's like a love-sick cat, and so on.... Shan't be +long! [Exit.] + +LOMOV. It's cold... I'm trembling all over, just as if I'd got an +examination before me. The great thing is, I must have my mind made up. +If I give myself time to think, to hesitate, to talk a lot, to look for +an ideal, or for real love, then I'll never get married.... Brr!... It's +cold! Natalya Stepanovna is an excellent housekeeper, not bad-looking, +well-educated.... What more do I want? But I'm getting a noise in +my ears from excitement. [Drinks] And it's impossible for me not to +marry.... In the first place, I'm already 35--a critical age, so to +speak. In the second place, I ought to lead a quiet and regular life.... +I suffer from palpitations, I'm excitable and always getting awfully +upset.... At this very moment my lips are trembling, and there's a +twitch in my right eyebrow.... But the very worst of all is the way +I sleep. I no sooner get into bed and begin to go off when suddenly +something in my left side--gives a pull, and I can feel it in my +shoulder and head.... I jump up like a lunatic, walk about a bit, and +lie down again, but as soon as I begin to get off to sleep there's +another pull! And this may happen twenty times.... + +[NATALYA STEPANOVNA comes in.] + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. Well, there! It's you, and papa said, "Go; there's a +merchant come for his goods." How do you do, Ivan Vassilevitch! + +LOMOV. How do you do, honoured Natalya Stepanovna? + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. You must excuse my apron and neglige... we're +shelling peas for drying. Why haven't you been here for such a long +time? Sit down. [They seat themselves] Won't you have some lunch? + +LOMOV. No, thank you, I've had some already. + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. Then smoke.... Here are the matches.... The weather +is splendid now, but yesterday it was so wet that the workmen didn't +do anything all day. How much hay have you stacked? Just think, I felt +greedy and had a whole field cut, and now I'm not at all pleased about +it because I'm afraid my hay may rot. I ought to have waited a bit. But +what's this? Why, you're in evening dress! Well, I never! Are you going +to a ball, or what?--though I must say you look better. Tell me, why are +you got up like that? + +LOMOV. [Excited] You see, honoured Natalya Stepanovna... the fact is, +I've made up my mind to ask you to hear me out.... Of course you'll be +surprised and perhaps even angry, but a... [Aside] It's awfully cold! + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. What's the matter? [Pause] Well? + +LOMOV. I shall try to be brief. You must know, honoured Natalya +Stepanovna, that I have long, since my childhood, in fact, had the +privilege of knowing your family. My late aunt and her husband, from +whom, as you know, I inherited my land, always had the greatest respect +for your father and your late mother. The Lomovs and the Chubukovs +have always had the most friendly, and I might almost say the most +affectionate, regard for each other. And, as you know, my land is a near +neighbour of yours. You will remember that my Oxen Meadows touch your +birchwoods. + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. Excuse my interrupting you. You say, "my Oxen +Meadows...." But are they yours? + +LOMOV. Yes, mine. + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. What are you talking about? Oxen Meadows are ours, +not yours! + +LOMOV. No, mine, honoured Natalya Stepanovna. + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. Well, I never knew that before. How do you make that +out? + +LOMOV. How? I'm speaking of those Oxen Meadows which are wedged in +between your birchwoods and the Burnt Marsh. + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. Yes, yes.... They're ours. + +LOMOV. No, you're mistaken, honoured Natalya Stepanovna, they're mine. + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. Just think, Ivan Vassilevitch! How long have they +been yours? + +LOMOV. How long? As long as I can remember. + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. Really, you won't get me to believe that! + +LOMOV. But you can see from the documents, honoured Natalya Stepanovna. +Oxen Meadows, it's true, were once the subject of dispute, but now +everybody knows that they are mine. There's nothing to argue about. +You see, my aunt's grandmother gave the free use of these Meadows in +perpetuity to the peasants of your father's grandfather, in return for +which they were to make bricks for her. The peasants belonging to your +father's grandfather had the free use of the Meadows for forty years, +and had got into the habit of regarding them as their own, when it +happened that... + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. No, it isn't at all like that! Both my grandfather +and great-grandfather reckoned that their land extended to Burnt +Marsh--which means that Oxen Meadows were ours. I don't see what there +is to argue about. It's simply silly! + +LOMOV. I'll show you the documents, Natalya Stepanovna! + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. No, you're simply joking, or making fun of me.... +What a surprise! We've had the land for nearly three hundred years, and +then we're suddenly told that it isn't ours! Ivan Vassilevitch, I can +hardly believe my own ears.... These Meadows aren't worth much to me. +They only come to five dessiatins [Note: 13.5 acres], and are worth +perhaps 300 roubles [Note: L30.], but I can't stand unfairness. Say what +you will, but I can't stand unfairness. + +LOMOV. Hear me out, I implore you! The peasants of your father's +grandfather, as I have already had the honour of explaining to you, used +to bake bricks for my aunt's grandmother. Now my aunt's grandmother, +wishing to make them a pleasant... + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. I can't make head or tail of all this about aunts +and grandfathers and grandmothers! The Meadows are ours, and that's all. + +LOMOV. Mine. + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. Ours! You can go on proving it for two days on end, +you can go and put on fifteen dress-jackets, but I tell you they're +ours, ours, ours! I don't want anything of yours and I don't want to +give up anything of mine. So there! + +LOMOV. Natalya Ivanovna, I don't want the Meadows, but I am acting on +principle. If you like, I'll make you a present of them. + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. I can make you a present of them myself, because +they're mine! Your behaviour, Ivan Vassilevitch, is strange, to say the +least! Up to this we have always thought of you as a good neighbour, a +friend: last year we lent you our threshing-machine, although on that +account we had to put off our own threshing till November, but you +behave to us as if we were gipsies. Giving me my own land, indeed! +No, really, that's not at all neighbourly! In my opinion, it's even +impudent, if you want to know.... + +LOMOV. Then you make out that I'm a land-grabber? Madam, never in my +life have I grabbed anybody else's land, and I shan't allow anybody to +accuse me of having done so.... [Quickly steps to the carafe and drinks +more water] Oxen Meadows are mine! + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. It's not true, they're ours! + +LOMOV. Mine! + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. It's not true! I'll prove it! I'll send my mowers +out to the Meadows this very day! + +LOMOV. What? + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. My mowers will be there this very day! + +LOMOV. I'll give it to them in the neck! + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. You dare! + +LOMOV. [Clutches at his heart] Oxen Meadows are mine! You understand? +Mine! + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. Please don't shout! You can shout yourself hoarse in +your own house, but here I must ask you to restrain yourself! + +LOMOV. If it wasn't, madam, for this awful, excruciating palpitation, +if my whole inside wasn't upset, I'd talk to you in a different way! +[Yells] Oxen Meadows are mine! + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. Ours! + +LOMOV. Mine! + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. Ours! + +LOMOV. Mine! + +[Enter CHUBUKOV.] + +CHUBUKOV. What's the matter? What are you shouting at? + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. Papa, please tell to this gentleman who owns Oxen +Meadows, we or he? + +CHUBUKOV. [To LOMOV] Darling, the Meadows are ours! + +LOMOV. But, please, Stepan Stepanitch, how can they be yours? Do be a +reasonable man! My aunt's grandmother gave the Meadows for the temporary +and free use of your grandfather's peasants. The peasants used the land +for forty years and got as accustomed to it as if it was their own, when +it happened that... + +CHUBUKOV. Excuse me, my precious.... You forget just this, that the +peasants didn't pay your grandmother and all that, because the Meadows +were in dispute, and so on. And now everybody knows that they're ours. +It means that you haven't seen the plan. + +LOMOV. I'll prove to you that they're mine! + +CHUBUKOV. You won't prove it, my darling. + +LOMOV. I shall! + +CHUBUKOV. Dear one, why yell like that? You won't prove anything just +by yelling. I don't want anything of yours, and don't intend to give up +what I have. Why should I? And you know, my beloved, that if you propose +to go on arguing about it, I'd much sooner give up the meadows to the +peasants than to you. There! + +LOMOV. I don't understand! How have you the right to give away somebody +else's property? + +CHUBUKOV. You may take it that I know whether I have the right or not. +Because, young man, I'm not used to being spoken to in that tone of +voice, and so on: I, young man, am twice your age, and ask you to speak +to me without agitating yourself, and all that. + +LOMOV. No, you just think I'm a fool and want to have me on! You call +my land yours, and then you want me to talk to you calmly and politely! +Good neighbours don't behave like that, Stepan Stepanitch! You're not a +neighbour, you're a grabber! + +CHUBUKOV. What's that? What did you say? + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. Papa, send the mowers out to the Meadows at once! + +CHUBUKOV. What did you say, sir? + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. Oxen Meadows are ours, and I shan't give them up, +shan't give them up, shan't give them up! + +LOMOV. We'll see! I'll have the matter taken to court, and then I'll +show you! + +CHUBUKOV. To court? You can take it to court, and all that! You can! I +know you; you're just on the look-out for a chance to go to court, and +all that.... You pettifogger! All your people were like that! All of +them! + +LOMOV. Never mind about my people! The Lomovs have all been honourable +people, and not one has ever been tried for embezzlement, like your +grandfather! + +CHUBUKOV. You Lomovs have had lunacy in your family, all of you! + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. All, all, all! + +CHUBUKOV. Your grandfather was a drunkard, and your younger aunt, +Nastasya Mihailovna, ran away with an architect, and so on. + +LOMOV. And your mother was hump-backed. [Clutches at his heart] +Something pulling in my side.... My head.... Help! Water! + +CHUBUKOV. Your father was a guzzling gambler! + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. And there haven't been many backbiters to equal your +aunt! + +LOMOV. My left foot has gone to sleep.... You're an intriguer.... Oh, +my heart!... And it's an open secret that before the last elections you +bri... I can see stars.... Where's my hat? + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. It's low! It's dishonest! It's mean! + +CHUBUKOV. And you're just a malicious, double-faced intriguer! Yes! + +LOMOV. Here's my hat.... My heart!... Which way? Where's the door? +Oh!... I think I'm dying.... My foot's quite numb.... [Goes to the +door.] + +CHUBUKOV. [Following him] And don't set foot in my house again! + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. Take it to court! We'll see! + +[LOMOV staggers out.] + +CHUBUKOV. Devil take him! [Walks about in excitement.] + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. What a rascal! What trust can one have in one's +neighbours after that! + +CHUBUKOV. The villain! The scarecrow! + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. The monster! First he takes our land and then he has +the impudence to abuse us. + +CHUBUKOV. And that blind hen, yes, that turnip-ghost has the confounded +cheek to make a proposal, and so on! What? A proposal! + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. What proposal? + +CHUBUKOV. Why, he came here so as to propose to you. + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. To propose? To me? Why didn't you tell me so before? + +CHUBUKOV. So he dresses up in evening clothes. The stuffed sausage! The +wizen-faced frump! + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. To propose to me? Ah! [Falls into an easy-chair and +wails] Bring him back! Back! Ah! Bring him here. + +CHUBUKOV. Bring whom here? + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. Quick, quick! I'm ill! Fetch him! [Hysterics.] + +CHUBUKOV. What's that? What's the matter with you? [Clutches at his +head] Oh, unhappy man that I am! I'll shoot myself! I'll hang myself! +We've done for her! + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. I'm dying! Fetch him! + +CHUBUKOV. Tfoo! At once. Don't yell! + +[Runs out. A pause. NATALYA STEPANOVNA wails.] + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. What have they done to me! Fetch him back! Fetch +him! [A pause.] + +[CHUBUKOV runs in.] + +CHUBUKOV. He's coming, and so on, devil take him! Ouf! Talk to him +yourself; I don't want to.... + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. [Wails] Fetch him! + +CHUBUKOV. [Yells] He's coming, I tell you. Oh, what a burden, Lord, +to be the father of a grown-up daughter! I'll cut my throat! I will, +indeed! We cursed him, abused him, drove him out, and it's all you... +you! + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. No, it was you! + +CHUBUKOV. I tell you it's not my fault. [LOMOV appears at the door] Now +you talk to him yourself [Exit.] + +[LOMOV enters, exhausted.] + +LOMOV. My heart's palpitating awfully.... My foot's gone to sleep.... +There's something keeps pulling in my side. + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. Forgive us, Ivan Vassilevitch, we were all a little +heated.... I remember now: Oxen Meadows really are yours. + +LOMOV. My heart's beating awfully.... My Meadows.... My eyebrows are +both twitching.... + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. The Meadows are yours, yes, yours.... Do sit +down.... [They sit] We were wrong.... + +LOMOV. I did it on principle.... My land is worth little to me, but the +principle... + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. Yes, the principle, just so.... Now let's talk of +something else. + +LOMOV. The more so as I have evidence. My aunt's grandmother gave the +land to your father's grandfather's peasants... + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. Yes, yes, let that pass.... [Aside] I wish I knew +how to get him started.... [Aloud] Are you going to start shooting soon? + +LOMOV. I'm thinking of having a go at the blackcock, honoured Natalya +Stepanovna, after the harvest. Oh, have you heard? Just think, what a +misfortune I've had! My dog Guess, whom you know, has gone lame. + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. What a pity! Why? + +LOMOV. I don't know.... Must have got twisted, or bitten by some other +dog.... [Sighs] My very best dog, to say nothing of the expense. I gave +Mironov 125 roubles for him. + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. It was too much, Ivan Vassilevitch. + +LOMOV. I think it was very cheap. He's a first-rate dog. + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. Papa gave 85 roubles for his Squeezer, and Squeezer +is heaps better than Guess! + +LOMOV. Squeezer better than. Guess? What an idea! [Laughs] Squeezer +better than Guess! + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. Of course he's better! Of course, Squeezer is +young, he may develop a bit, but on points and pedigree he's better than +anything that even Volchanetsky has got. + +LOMOV. Excuse me, Natalya Stepanovna, but you forget that he is +overshot, and an overshot always means the dog is a bad hunter! + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. Overshot, is he? The first time I hear it! + +LOMOV. I assure you that his lower jaw is shorter than the upper. + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. Have you measured? + +LOMOV. Yes. He's all right at following, of course, but if you want him +to get hold of anything... + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. In the first place, our Squeezer is a thoroughbred +animal, the son of Harness and Chisels, while there's no getting at +the pedigree of your dog at all.... He's old and as ugly as a worn-out +cab-horse. + +LOMOV. He is old, but I wouldn't take five Squeezers for him.... Why, +how can you?... Guess is a dog; as for Squeezer, well, it's too funny to +argue.... Anybody you like has a dog as good as Squeezer... you may find +them under every bush almost. Twenty-five roubles would be a handsome +price to pay for him. + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. There's some demon of contradiction in you to-day, +Ivan Vassilevitch. First you pretend that the Meadows are yours; now, +that Guess is better than Squeezer. I don't like people who don't say +what they mean, because you know perfectly well that Squeezer is a +hundred times better than your silly Guess. Why do you want to say it +isn't? + +LOMOV. I see, Natalya Stepanovna, that you consider me either blind or a +fool. You must realize that Squeezer is overshot! + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. It's not true. + +LOMOV. He is! + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. It's not true! + +LOMOV. Why shout, madam? + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. Why talk rot? It's awful! It's time your Guess was +shot, and you compare him with Squeezer! + +LOMOV. Excuse me; I cannot continue this discussion: my heart is +palpitating. + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. I've noticed that those hunters argue most who know +least. + +LOMOV. Madam, please be silent.... My heart is going to pieces.... +[Shouts] Shut up! + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. I shan't shut up until you acknowledge that Squeezer +is a hundred times better than your Guess! + +LOMOV. A hundred times worse! Be hanged to your Squeezer! His head... +eyes... shoulder... + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. There's no need to hang your silly Guess; he's +half-dead already! + +LOMOV. [Weeps] Shut up! My heart's bursting! + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. I shan't shut up. + +[Enter CHUBUKOV.] + +CHUBUKOV. What's the matter now? + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. Papa, tell us truly, which is the better dog, our +Squeezer or his Guess. + +LOMOV. Stepan Stepanovitch, I implore you to tell me just one thing: is +your Squeezer overshot or not? Yes or no? + +CHUBUKOV. And suppose he is? What does it matter? He's the best dog in +the district for all that, and so on. + +LOMOV. But isn't my Guess better? Really, now? + +CHUBUKOV. Don't excite yourself, my precious one.... Allow me.... Your +Guess certainly has his good points.... He's pure-bred, firm on his +feet, has well-sprung ribs, and all that. But, my dear man, if you want +to know the truth, that dog has two defects: he's old and he's short in +the muzzle. + +LOMOV. Excuse me, my heart.... Let's take the facts.... You will +remember that on the Marusinsky hunt my Guess ran neck-and-neck with the +Count's dog, while your Squeezer was left a whole verst behind. + +CHUBUKOV. He got left behind because the Count's whipper-in hit him with +his whip. + +LOMOV. And with good reason. The dogs are running after a fox, when +Squeezer goes and starts worrying a sheep! + +CHUBUKOV. It's not true!... My dear fellow, I'm very liable to lose my +temper, and so, just because of that, let's stop arguing. You started +because everybody is always jealous of everybody else's dogs. Yes, we're +all like that! You too, sir, aren't blameless! You no sooner notice that +some dog is better than your Guess than you begin with this, that... and +the other... and all that.... I remember everything! + +LOMOV. I remember too! + +CHUBUKOV. [Teasing him] I remember, too.... What do you remember? + +LOMOV. My heart... my foot's gone to sleep.... I can't... + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. [Teasing] My heart.... What sort of a hunter are +you? You ought to go and lie on the kitchen oven and catch blackbeetles, +not go after foxes! My heart! + +CHUBUKOV. Yes really, what sort of a hunter are you, anyway? You ought +to sit at home with your palpitations, and not go tracking animals. You +could go hunting, but you only go to argue with people and interfere +with their dogs and so on. Let's change the subject in case I lose my +temper. You're not a hunter at all, anyway! + +LOMOV. And are you a hunter? You only go hunting to get in with the +Count and to intrigue.... Oh, my heart!... You're an intriguer! + +CHUBUKOV. What? I an intriguer? [Shouts] Shut up! + +LOMOV. Intriguer! + +CHUBUKOV. Boy! Pup! + +LOMOV. Old rat! Jesuit! + +CHUBUKOV. Shut up or I'll shoot you like a partridge! You fool! + +LOMOV. Everybody knows that--oh my heart!--your late wife used to beat +you.... My feet... temples... sparks.... I fall, I fall! + +CHUBUKOV. And you're under the slipper of your housekeeper! + +LOMOV. There, there, there... my heart's burst! My shoulder's come +off.... Where is my shoulder? I die. [Falls into an armchair] A doctor! +[Faints.] + +CHUBUKOV. Boy! Milksop! Fool! I'm sick! [Drinks water] Sick! + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. What sort of a hunter are you? You can't even sit on +a horse! [To her father] Papa, what's the matter with him? Papa! Look, +papa! [Screams] Ivan Vassilevitch! He's dead! + +CHUBUKOV. I'm sick!... I can't breathe!... Air! + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. He's dead. [Pulls LOMOV'S sleeve] Ivan Vassilevitch! +Ivan Vassilevitch! What have you done to me? He's dead. [Falls into an +armchair] A doctor, a doctor! [Hysterics.] + +CHUBUKOV. Oh!... What is it? What's the matter? + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. [Wails] He's dead... dead! + +CHUBUKOV. Who's dead? [Looks at LOMOV] So he is! My word! Water! A +doctor! [Lifts a tumbler to LOMOV'S mouth] Drink this!... No, he doesn't +drink.... It means he's dead, and all that.... I'm the most unhappy of +men! Why don't I put a bullet into my brain? Why haven't I cut my throat +yet? What am I waiting for? Give me a knife! Give me a pistol! [LOMOV +moves] He seems to be coming round.... Drink some water! That's +right.... + +LOMOV. I see stars... mist.... Where am I? + +CHUBUKOV. Hurry up and get married and--well, to the devil with you! +She's willing! [He puts LOMOV'S hand into his daughter's] She's willing +and all that. I give you my blessing and so on. Only leave me in peace! + +LOMOV. [Getting up] Eh? What? To whom? + +CHUBUKOV. She's willing! Well? Kiss and be damned to you! + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. [Wails] He's alive... Yes, yes, I'm willing.... + +CHUBUKOV. Kiss each other! + +LOMOV. Eh? Kiss whom? [They kiss] Very nice, too. Excuse me, what's +it all about? Oh, now I understand... my heart... stars... I'm happy. +Natalya Stepanovna.... [Kisses her hand] My foot's gone to sleep.... + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. I... I'm happy too.... + +CHUBUKOV. What a weight off my shoulders.... Ouf! + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. But... still you will admit now that Guess is worse +than Squeezer. + +LOMOV. Better! + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. Worse! + +CHUBUKOV. Well, that's a way to start your family bliss! Have some +champagne! + +LOMOV. He's better! + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. Worse! worse! worse! + +CHUBUKOV. [Trying to shout her down] Champagne! Champagne! + +Curtain. + + + + + +THE WEDDING + + +CHARACTERS + + EVDOKIM ZAHAROVITCH ZHIGALOV, a retired Civil Servant. + NASTASYA TIMOFEYEVNA, his wife + DASHENKA, their daughter + EPAMINOND MAXIMOVITCH APLOMBOV, Dashenka's bridegroom + FYODOR YAKOVLEVITCH REVUNOV-KARAULOV, a retired captain + ANDREY ANDREYEVITCH NUNIN, an insurance agent + ANNA MARTINOVNA ZMEYUKINA, a midwife, aged 30, in a brilliantly red dress + IVAN MIHAILOVITCH YATS, a telegraphist + HARLAMPI SPIRIDONOVITCH DIMBA, a Greek confectioner + DMITRI STEPANOVITCH MOZGOVOY, a sailor of the Imperial Navy (Volunteer + Fleet) + GROOMSMEN, GENTLEMEN, WAITERS, ETC. + +The scene is laid in one of the rooms of Andronov's Restaurant + + +[A brilliantly illuminated room. A large table, laid for supper. Waiters +in dress-jackets are fussing round the table. An orchestra behind the +scene is playing the music of the last figure of a quadrille.] + +[ANNA MARTINOVNA ZMEYUKINA, YATS, and a GROOMSMAN cross the stage.] + +ZMEYUKINA. No, no, no! + +YATS. [Following her] Have pity on us! Have pity! + +ZMEYUKINA. No, no, no! + +GROOMSMAN. [Chasing them] You can't go on like this! Where are you off +to? What about the _grand ronde? Grand ronde, s'il vous plait_! [They +all go off.] + +[Enter NASTASYA TIMOFEYEVNA and APLOMBOV.] + +NASTASYA TIMOFEYEVNA. You had much better be dancing than upsetting me +with your speeches. + +APLOMBOV. I'm not a Spinosa or anybody of that sort, to go making +figures-of-eight with my legs. I am a serious man, and I have a +character, and I see no amusement in empty pleasures. But it isn't just +a matter of dances. You must excuse me, maman, but there is a good deal +in your behaviour which I am unable to understand. For instance, in +addition to objects of domestic importance, you promised also to give +me, with your daughter, two lottery tickets. Where are they? + +NASTASYA TIMOFEYEVNA. My head's aching a little... I expect it's on +account of the weather.... If only it thawed! + +APLOMBOV. You won't get out of it like that. I only found out to-day +that those tickets are in pawn. You must excuse me, _maman_, but +it's only swindlers who behave like that. I'm not doing this out of +egoisticism [Note: So in the original]--I don't want your tickets--but +on principle; and I don't allow myself to be done by anybody. I have +made your daughter happy, and if you don't give me the tickets to-day +I'll make short work of her. I'm an honourable man! + +NASTASYA TIMOFEYEVNA. [Looks round the table and counts up the covers] +One, two, three, four, five... + +A WAITER. The cook asks if you would like the ices served with rum, +madeira, or by themselves? + +APLOMBOV. With rum. And tell the manager that there's not enough wine. +Tell him to prepare some more Haut Sauterne. [To NASTASYA TIMOFEYEVNA] +You also promised and agreed that a general was to be here to supper. +And where is he? + +NASTASYA TIMOFEYEVNA. That isn't my fault, my dear. + +APLOMBOV. Whose fault, then? + +NASTASYA TIMOFEYEVNA. It's Andrey Andreyevitch's fault.... Yesterday he +came to see us and promised to bring a perfectly real general. [Sighs] I +suppose he couldn't find one anywhere, or he'd have brought him.... +You think we don't mind? We'd begrudge our child nothing. A general, of +course... + +APLOMBOV. But there's more.... Everybody, including yourself, _maman_, +is aware of the fact that Yats, that telegraphist, was after Dashenka +before I proposed to her. Why did you invite him? Surely you knew it +would be unpleasant for me? + +NASTASYA TIMOFEYEVNA. Oh, how can you? Epaminond Maximovitch was married +himself only the other day, and you've already tired me and Dashenka out +with your talk. What will you be like in a year's time? You are horrid, +really horrid. + +APLOMBOV. Then you don't like to hear the truth? Aha! Oh, oh! Then +behave honourably. I only want you to do one thing, be honourable! + +[Couples dancing the _grand ronde_ come in at one door and out at the +other end. The first couple are DASHENKA with one of the GROOMSMEN. The +last are YATS and ZMEYUKINA. These two remain behind. ZHIGALOV and DIMBA +enter and go up to the table.] + +GROOMSMAN. [Shouting] Promenade! Messieurs, promenade! [Behind] +Promenade! + +[The dancers have all left the scene.] + +YATS. [To ZMEYUKINA] Have pity! Have pity, adorable Anna Martinovna. + +ZMEYUKINA. Oh, what a man!... I've already told you that I've no voice +to-day. + +YATS. I implore you to sing! Just one note! Have pity! Just one note! + +ZMEYUKINA. I'm tired of you.... [Sits and fans herself.] + +YATS. No, you're simply heartless! To be so cruel--if I may express +myself--and to have such a beautiful, beautiful voice! With such +a voice, if you will forgive my using the word, you shouldn't be a +midwife, but sing at concerts, at public gatherings! For example, how +divinely you do that _fioritura_... that... [Sings] "I loved you; love +was vain then...." Exquisite! + +ZMEYUKINA. [Sings] "I loved you, and may love again." Is that it? + +YATS. That's it! Beautiful! + +ZMEYUKINA. No, I've no voice to-day.... There, wave this fan for +me... it's hot! [To APLOMBOV] Epaminond Maximovitch, why are you so +melancholy? A bridegroom shouldn't be! Aren't you ashamed of yourself, +you wretch? Well, what are you so thoughtful about? + +APLOMBOV. Marriage is a serious step! Everything must be considered from +all sides, thoroughly. + +ZMEYUKINA. What beastly sceptics you all are! I feel quite suffocated +with you all around.... Give me atmosphere! Do you hear? Give me +atmosphere! [Sings a few notes.] + +YATS. Beautiful! Beautiful! + +ZMEYUKINA. Fan me, fan me, or I feel I shall have a heart attack in a +minute. Tell me, please, why do I feel so suffocated? + +YATS. It's because you're sweating.... + +ZMEYUKINA. Foo, how vulgar you are! Don't dare to use such words! + +YATS. Beg pardon! Of course, you're used, if I may say so, to +aristocratic society and.... + +ZMEYUKINA. Oh, leave me alone! Give me poetry, delight! Fan me, fan me! + +ZHIGALOV. [To DIMBA] Let's have another, what? [Pours out] One can +always drink. So long only, Harlampi Spiridonovitch, as one doesn't +forget one's business. Drink and be merry.... And if you can drink at +somebody else's expense, then why not drink? You can drink.... Your +health! [They drink] And do you have tigers in Greece? + +DIMBA. Yes. + +ZHIGALOV. And lions? + +DIMBA. And lions too. In Russia zere's nussing, and in Greece zere's +everysing--my fazer and uncle and brozeres--and here zere's nussing. + +ZHIGALOV. H'm.... And are there whales in Greece? + +DIMBA. Yes, everysing. + +NASTASYA TIMOFEYEVNA. [To her husband] What are they all eating and +drinking like that for? It's time for everybody to sit down to supper. +Don't keep on shoving your fork into the lobsters.... They're for the +general. He may come yet.... + +ZHIGALOV. And are there lobsters in Greece? + +DIMBA. Yes... zere is everysing. + +ZHIGALOV. Hm.... And Civil Servants. + +ZMEYUKINA. I can imagine what the atmosphere is like in Greece! + +ZHIGALOV. There must be a lot of swindling. The Greeks are just like the +Armenians or gipsies. They sell you a sponge or a goldfish and all the +time they are looking out for a chance of getting something extra out of +you. Let's have another, what? + +NASTASYA TIMOFEYEVNA. What do you want to go on having another for? It's +time everybody sat down to supper. It's past eleven. + +ZHIGALOV. If it's time, then it's time. Ladies and gentlemen, please! +[Shouts] Supper! Young people! + +NASTASYA TIMOFEYEVNA. Dear visitors, please be seated! + +ZMEYUKINA. [Sitting down at the table] Give me poetry. + + "And he, the rebel, seeks the storm, + As if the storm can give him peace." + +Give me the storm! + +YATS. [Aside] Wonderful woman! I'm in love! Up to my ears! + +[Enter DASHENKA, MOZGOVOY, GROOMSMEN, various ladies and gentlemen, +etc. They all noisily seat themselves at the table. There is a minute's +pause, while the band plays a march.] + +MOZGOVOY. [Rising] Ladies and gentlemen! I must tell you this.... We are +going to have a great many toasts and speeches. Don't let's wait, but +begin at once. Ladies and gentlemen, the newly married! + +[The band plays a flourish. Cheers. Glasses are touched. APLOMBOV and +DASHENKA kiss each other.] + +YATS. Beautiful! Beautiful! I must say, ladies and gentlemen, giving +honour where it is due, that this room and the accommodation generally +are splendid! Excellent, wonderful! Only you know, there's one thing +we haven't got--electric light, if I may say so! Into every country +electric light has already been introduced, only Russia lags behind. + +ZHIGALOV. [Meditatively] Electricity... h'm.... In my opinion electric +lighting is just a swindle.... They put a live coal in and think you +don't see them! No, if you want a light, then you don't take a coal, but +something real, something special, that you can get hold of! You must +have a fire, you understand, which is natural, not just an invention! + +YATS. If you'd ever seen an electric battery, and how it's made up, +you'd think differently. + +ZHIGALOV. Don't want to see one. It's a swindle, a fraud on the +public.... They want to squeeze our last breath out of us.... We know +then, these... And, young man, instead of defending a swindle, you would +be much better occupied if you had another yourself and poured out some +for other people--yes! + +APLOMBOV. I entirely agree with you, papa. Why start a learned +discussion? I myself have no objection to talking about every possible +scientific discovery, but this isn't the time for all that! [To +DASHENKA] What do you think, _ma chere_? + +DASHENKA. They want to show how educated they are, and so they always +talk about things we can't understand. + +NASTASYA TIMOFEYEVNA. Thank God, we've lived our time without being +educated, and here we are marrying off our third daughter to an honest +man. And if you think we're uneducated, then what do you want to come +here for? Go to your educated friends! + +YATS. I, Nastasya Timofeyevna, have always held your family in respect, +and if I did start talking about electric lighting it doesn't mean that +I'm proud. I'll drink, to show you. I have always sincerely wished Daria +Evdokimovna a good husband. In these days, Nastasya Timofeyevna, it is +difficult to find a good husband. Nowadays everybody is on the look-out +for a marriage where there is profit, money.... + +APLOMBOV. That's a hint! + +YATS. [His courage failing] I wasn't hinting at anything.... Present +company is always excepted.... I was only in general.... Please! +Everybody knows that you're marrying for love... the dowry is quite +trifling. + +NASTASYA TIMOFEYEVNA. No, it isn't trifling! You be careful what you +say. Besides a thousand roubles of good money, we're giving three +dresses, the bed, and all the furniture. You won't find another dowry +like that in a hurry! + +YATS. I didn't mean... The furniture's splendid, of course, and... and +the dresses, but I never hinted at what they are getting offended at. + +NASTASYA TIMOFEYEVNA. Don't you go making hints. We respect you on +account of your parents, and we've invited you to the wedding, and here +you go talking. If you knew that Epaminond Maximovitch was marrying for +profit, why didn't you say so before? [Tearfully] I brought her up, +I fed her, I nursed her.... I cared for her more than if she was an +emerald jewel, my little girl.... + +APLOMBOV. And you go and believe him? Thank you so much! I'm very +grateful to you! [To YATS] And as for you, Mr. Yats, although you are +acquainted with me, I shan't allow you to behave like this in another's +house. Please get out of this! + +YATS. What do you mean? + +APLOMBOV. I want you to be as straightforward as I am! In short, please +get out! [Band plays a flourish] + +THE GENTLEMEN. Leave him alone! Sit down! Is it worth it! Let him be! +Stop it now! + +YATS. I never... I... I don't understand.... Please, I'll go.... Only +you first give me the five roubles which you borrowed from me last year +on the strength of a _pique_ waistcoat, if I may say so. Then I'll just +have another drink and... go, only give me the money first. + +VARIOUS GENTLEMEN. Sit down! That's enough! Is it worth it, just for +such trifles? + +A GROOMSMAN. [Shouts] The health of the bride's parents, Evdokim +Zaharitch and Nastasya Timofeyevna! [Band plays a flourish. Cheers.] + +ZHIGALOV. [Bows in all directions, in great emotion] I thank you! Dear +guests! I am very grateful to you for not having forgotten and for +having conferred this honour upon us without being standoffish And you +must not think that I'm a rascal, or that I'm trying to swindle anybody. +I'm speaking from my heart--from the purity of my soul! I wouldn't deny +anything to good people! We thank you very humbly! [Kisses.] + +DASHENKA. [To her mother] Mama, why are you crying? I'm so happy! + +APLOMBOV. _Maman_ is disturbed at your coming separation. But I should +advise her rather to remember the last talk we had. + +YATS. Don't cry, Nastasya Timofeyevna! Just think what are human tears, +anyway? Just petty psychiatry, and nothing more! + +ZMEYUKINA. And are there any red-haired men in Greece? + +DIMBA. Yes, everysing is zere. + +ZHIGALOV. But you don't have our kinds of mushroom. + +DIMBA. Yes, we've got zem and everysing. + +MOZGOVOY. Harlampi Spiridonovitch, it's your turn to speak! Ladies and +gentlemen, a speech! + +ALL. [To DIMBA] Speech! speech! Your turn! + +DIMBA. Why? I don't understand.... What is it! + +ZMEYUKINA. No, no! You can't refuse! It's you turn! Get up! + +DIMBA. [Gets up, confused] I can't say what... Zere's Russia and zere's +Greece. Zere's people in Russia and people in Greece.... And zere's +people swimming the sea in karavs, which mean sips, and people on +the land in railway trains. I understand. We are Greeks and you are +Russians, and I want nussing.... I can tell you... zere's Russia and +zere's Greece... + +[Enter NUNIN.] + +NUNIN. Wait, ladies and gentlemen, don't eat now! Wait! Just one minute, +Nastasya Timofeyevna! Just come here, if you don't mind! [Takes NASTASYA +TIMOFEYEVNA aside, puffing] Listen... The General's coming... I +found one at last.... I'm simply worn out.... A real General, a solid +one--old, you know, aged perhaps eighty, or even ninety. + +NASTASYA TIMOFEYEVNA. When is he coming? + +NUNIN. This minute. You'll be grateful to me all your life. [Note: A +few lines have been omitted: they refer to the "General's" rank and +its civil equivalent in words for which the English language has +no corresponding terms. The "General" is an ex-naval officer, a +second-class captain.] + +NASTASYA TIMOFEYEVNA. You're not deceiving me, Andrey darling? + +NUNIN. Well, now, am I a swindler? You needn't worry! + +NASTASYA TIMOFEYEVNA. [Sighs] One doesn't like to spend money for +nothing, Andrey darling! + +NUNIN. Don't you worry! He's not a general, he's a dream! [Raises his +voice] I said to him: "You've quite forgotten us, your Excellency! +It isn't kind of your Excellency to forget your old friends! Nastasya +Timofeyevna," I said to him, "she's very annoyed with you about it!" +[Goes and sits at the table] And he says to me: "But, my friend, how can +I go when I don't know the bridegroom?" "Oh, nonsense, your excellency, +why stand on ceremony? The bridegroom," I said to him, "he's a fine +fellow, very free and easy. He's a valuer," I said, "at the Law courts, +and don't you think, your excellency, that he's some rascal, some knave +of hearts. Nowadays," I said to him, "even decent women are employed at +the Law courts." He slapped me on the shoulder, we smoked a Havana cigar +each, and now he's coming.... Wait a little, ladies and gentlemen, don't +eat.... + +APLOMBOV. When's he coming? + +NUNIN. This minute. When I left him he was already putting on his +goloshes. Wait a little, ladies and gentlemen, don't eat yet. + +APLOMBOV. The band should be told to play a march. + +NUNIN. [Shouts] Musicians! A march! [The band plays a march for a +minute.] + +A WAITER. Mr. Revunov-Karaulov! + +[ZHIGALOV, NASTASYA TIMOFEYEVNA, and NUNIN run to meet him. Enter +REVUNOV-KARAULOV.] + +NASTASYA TIMOFEYEVNA. [Bowing] Please come in, your excellency! So glad +you've come! + +REVUNOV. Awfully! + +ZHIGALOV. We, your excellency, aren't celebrities, we aren't important, +but quite ordinary, but don't think on that account that there's any +fraud. We put good people into the best place, we begrudge nothing. +Please! + +REVUNOV. Awfully glad! + +NUNIN. Let me introduce to you, your excellency, the bridegroom, +Epaminond Maximovitch Aplombov, with his newly born... I mean his newly +married wife! Ivan Mihailovitch Yats, employed on the telegraph! A +foreigner of Greek nationality, a confectioner by trade, Harlampi +Spiridonovitch Dimba! Osip Lukitch Babelmandebsky! And so on, and so +on.... The rest are just trash. Sit down, your excellency! + +REVUNOV. Awfully! Excuse me, ladies and gentlemen, I just want to say +two words to Andrey. [Takes NUNIN aside] I say, old man, I'm a little +put out.... Why do you call me your excellency? I'm not a general! I +don't rank as the equivalent of a colonel, even. + +NUNIN. [Whispers] I know, only, Fyodor Yakovlevitch, be a good man +and let us call you your excellency! The family here, you see, is +patriarchal; it respects the aged, it likes rank. + +REVUNOV. Oh, if it's like that, very well.... [Goes to the table] +Awfully! + +NASTASYA TIMOFEYEVNA. Sit down, your excellency! Be so good as to have +some of this, your excellency! Only forgive us for not being used to +etiquette; we're plain people! + +REVUNOV. [Not hearing] What? Hm... yes. [Pause] Yes.... In the old days +everybody used to live simply and was happy. In spite of my rank, I am +a man who lives plainly. To-day Andrey comes to me and asks me to come +here to the wedding. "How shall I go," I said, "when I don't know them? +It's not good manners!" But he says: "They are good, simple, patriarchal +people, glad to see anybody." Well, if that's the case... why not? +Very glad to come. It's very dull for me at home by myself, and if my +presence at a wedding can make anybody happy, then I'm delighted to be +here.... + +ZHIGALOV. Then that's sincere, is it, your excellency? I respect that! +I'm a plain man myself, without any deception, and I respect others who +are like that. Eat, your excellency! + +APLOMBOV. Is it long since you retired, your excellency? + +REVUNOV. Eh? Yes, yes.... Quite true.... Yes. But, excuse me, what +is this? The fish is sour... and the bread is sour. I can't eat this! +[APLOMBOV and DASHENKA kiss each other] He, he, he... Your health! +[Pause] Yes.... In the old days everything was simple and everybody was +glad.... I love simplicity.... I'm an old man. I retired in 1865. I'm +72. Yes, of course, in my younger days it was different, but--[Sees +MOZGOVOY] You there... a sailor, are you? + +MOZGOVOY. Yes, just so. + +REVUNOV. Aha, so... yes. The navy means hard work. There's a lot to +think about and get a headache over. Every insignificant word has, so +to speak, its special meaning! For instance, "Hoist her top-sheets +and mainsail!" What's it mean? A sailor can tell! He, he!--With almost +mathematical precision! + +NUNIN. The health of his excellency Fyodor Yakovlevitch +Revunov-Karaulov! [Band plays a flourish. Cheers.] + +YATS. You, your excellency, have just expressed yourself on the subject +of the hard work involved in a naval career. But is telegraphy any +easier? Nowadays, your excellency, nobody is appointed to the telegraphs +if he cannot read and write French and German. But the transmission of +telegrams is the most difficult thing of all. Awfully difficult! Just +listen. + +[Taps with his fork on the table, like a telegraphic transmitter.] + +REVUNOV. What does that mean? + +YATS. It means, "I honour you, your excellency, for your virtues." You +think it's easy? Listen now. [Taps.] + +REVUNOV. Louder; I can't hear.... + +YATS. That means, "Madam, how happy I am to hold you in my embraces!" + +REVUNOV. What madam are you talking about? Yes.... [To MOZGOVOY] Yes, if +there's a head-wind you must... let's see... you must hoist your foretop +halyards and topsail halyards! The order is: "On the cross-trees to +the foretop halyards and topsail halyards" and at the same time, as +the sails get loose, you take hold underneath of the foresail and +fore-topsail halyards, stays and braces. + +A GROOMSMAN. [Rising] Ladies and gentlemen... + +REVUNOV. [Cutting him short] Yes... there are a great many orders to +give. "Furl the fore-topsail and the foretop-gallant sail!!" Well, +what does that mean? It's very simple! It means that if the top and +top-gallant sails are lifting the halyards, they must level the foretop +and foretop-gallant halyards on the hoist and at the same time the +top-gallants braces, as needed, are loosened according to the direction +of the wind... + +NUNIN. [To REVUNOV] Fyodor Yakovlevitch, Mme. Zhigalov asks you to +talk about something else. It's very dull for the guests, who can't +understand.... + +REVUNOV. What? Who's dull? [To MOZGOVOY] Young man! Now suppose the ship +is lying by the wind, on the starboard tack, under full sail, and you've +got to bring her before the wind. What's the order? Well, first you +whistle up above! He, he! + +NUNIN. Fyodor Yakovlevitch, that's enough. Eat something. + +REVUNOV. As soon as the men are on deck you give the order, "To your +places!" What a life! You give orders, and at the same time you've +got to keep your eyes on the sailors, who run about like flashes of +lightning and get the sails and braces right. And at last you can't +restrain yourself, and you shout, "Good children!" [He chokes and +coughs.] + +A GROOMSMAN. [Making haste to use the ensuing pause to advantage] On +this occasion, so to speak, on the day on which we have met together to +honour our dear... + +REVUNOV. [Interrupting] Yes, you've got to remember all that! For +instance, "Hoist the topsail halyards. Lower the topsail gallants!" + +THE GROOMSMAN. [Annoyed] Why does he keep on interrupting? We shan't get +through a single speech like that! + +NASTASYA TIMOFEYEVNA. We are dull people, your excellency, and don't +understand a word of all that, but if you were to tell us something +appropriate... + +REVUNOV. [Not hearing] I've already had supper, thank you. Did you say +there was goose? Thanks... yes. I've remembered the old days.... It's +pleasant, young man! You sail on the sea, you have no worries, and [In +an excited tone of voice] do you remember the joy of tacking? Is there a +sailor who doesn't glow at the memory of that manoeuvre? As soon as the +word is given and the whistle blown and the crew begins to go up--it's +as if an electric spark has run through them all. From the captain to +the cabin-boy, everybody's excited. + +ZMEYUKINA. How dull! How dull! [General murmur.] + +REVUNOV. [Who has not heard it properly] Thank you, I've had supper. +[With enthusiasm] Everybody's ready, and looks to the senior officer. +He gives the command: "Stand by, gallants and topsail braces on the +starboard side, main and counter-braces to port!" Everything's done in +a twinkling. Top-sheets and jib-sheets are pulled... taken to starboard. +[Stands up] The ship takes the wind and at last the sails fill out. The +senior officer orders, "To the braces," and himself keeps his eye on the +mainsail, and when at last this sail is filling out and the ship begins +to turn, he yells at the top of his voice, "Let go the braces! Loose the +main halyards!" Everything flies about, there's a general confusion for +a moment--and everything is done without an error. The ship has been +tacked! + +NASTASYA TIMOFEYEVNA. [Exploding] General, your manners.... You ought to +be ashamed of yourself, at your age! + +REVUNOV. Did you say sausage? No, I haven't had any... thank you. + +NASTASYA TIMOFEYEVNA. [Loudly] I say you ought to be ashamed of yourself +at your age! General, your manners are awful! + +NUNIN. [Confused] Ladies and gentlemen, is it worth it? Really... + +REVUNOV. In the first place, I'm not a general, but a second-class naval +captain, which, according to the table of precedence, corresponds to a +lieutenant-colonel. + +NASTASYA TIMOFEYEVNA. If you're not a general, then what did you go and +take our money for? We never paid you money to behave like that! + +REVUNOV. [Upset] What money? + +NASTASYA TIMOFEYEVNA. You know what money. You know that you got 25 +roubles from Andrey Andreyevitch.... [To NUNIN] And you look out, +Andrey! I never asked you to hire a man like that! + +NUNIN. There now... let it drop. Is it worth it? + +REVUNOV. Paid... hired.... What is it? + +APLOMBOV. Just let me ask you this. Did you receive 25 roubles from +Andrey Andreyevitch? + +REVUNOV. What 25 roubles? [Suddenly realizing] That's what it is! Now I +understand it all.... How mean! How mean! + +APLOMBOV. Did you take the money? + +REVUNOV. I haven't taken any money! Get away from me! [Leaves the table] +How mean! How low! To insult an old man, a sailor, an officer who has +served long and faithfully! If you were decent people I could call +somebody out, but what can I do now? [Absently] Where's the door? Which +way do I go? Waiter, show me the way out! Waiter! [Going] How mean! How +low! [Exit.] + +NASTASYA TIMOFEYEVNA. Andrey, where are those 25 roubles? + +NUNIN. Is it worth while bothering about such trifles? What does it +matter! Everybody's happy here, and here you go.... [Shouts] The health +of the bride and bridegroom! A march! A march! [The band plays a march] +The health of the bride and bridegroom! + +ZMEYUKINA. I'm suffocating! Give me atmosphere! I'm suffocating with you +all round me! + +YATS. [In a transport of delight] My beauty! My beauty! [Uproar.] + +A GROOMSMAN. [Trying to shout everybody else down] Ladies and gentlemen! +On this occasion, if I may say so... + +Curtain. + + + + + +THE BEAR + + +CHARACTERS + + ELENA IVANOVNA POPOVA, a landowning little widow, with dimples on her + cheeks + GRIGORY STEPANOVITCH SMIRNOV, a middle-aged landowner + LUKA, Popova's aged footman + + +[A drawing-room in POPOVA'S house.] + +[POPOVA is in deep mourning and has her eyes fixed on a photograph. LUKA +is haranguing her.] + +LUKA. It isn't right, madam.... You're just destroying yourself. The +maid and the cook have gone off fruit picking, every living being is +rejoicing, even the cat understands how to enjoy herself and walks about +in the yard, catching midges; only you sit in this room all day, as if +this was a convent, and don't take any pleasure. Yes, really! I reckon +it's a whole year that you haven't left the house! + +POPOVA. I shall never go out.... Why should I? My life is already at an +end. He is in his grave, and I have buried myself between four walls.... +We are both dead. + +LUKA. Well, there you are! Nicolai Mihailovitch is dead, well, it's the +will of God, and may his soul rest in peace.... You've mourned him--and +quite right. But you can't go on weeping and wearing mourning for ever. +My old woman died too, when her time came. Well? I grieved over her, I +wept for a month, and that's enough for her, but if I've got to weep +for a whole age, well, the old woman isn't worth it. [Sighs] You've +forgotten all your neighbours. You don't go anywhere, and you see +nobody. We live, so to speak, like spiders, and never see the light. +The mice have eaten my livery. It isn't as if there were no good people +around, for the district's full of them. There's a regiment quartered at +Riblov, and the officers are such beauties--you can never gaze your fill +at them. And, every Friday, there's a ball at the camp, and every day +the soldier's band plays.... Eh, my lady! You're young and beautiful, +with roses in your cheek--if you only took a little pleasure. Beauty +won't last long, you know. In ten years' time you'll want to be a +pea-hen yourself among the officers, but they won't look at you, it will +be too late. + +POPOVA. [With determination] I must ask you never to talk to me about +it! You know that when Nicolai Mihailovitch died, life lost all its +meaning for me. I vowed never to the end of my days to cease to wear +mourning, or to see the light.... You hear? Let his ghost see how well I +love him.... Yes, I know it's no secret to you that he was often unfair +to me, cruel, and... and even unfaithful, but I shall be true till +death, and show him how I can love. There, beyond the grave, he will see +me as I was before his death.... + +LUKA. Instead of talking like that you ought to go and have a walk in +the garden, or else order Toby or Giant to be harnessed, and then drive +out to see some of the neighbours. + +POPOVA. Oh! [Weeps.] + +LUKA. Madam! Dear madam! What is it? Bless you! + +POPOVA. He was so fond of Toby! He always used to ride on him to the +Korchagins and Vlasovs. How well he could ride! What grace there was +in his figure when he pulled at the reins with all his strength! Do you +remember? Toby, Toby! Tell them to give him an extra feed of oats. + +LUKA. Yes, madam. [A bell rings noisily.] + +POPOVA. [Shaking] Who's that? Tell them that I receive nobody. + +LUKA. Yes, madam. [Exit.] + +POPOVA. [Looks at the photograph] You will see, Nicolas, how I can love +and forgive.... My love will die out with me, only when this poor heart +will cease to beat. [Laughs through her tears] And aren't you ashamed? +I am a good and virtuous little wife. I've locked myself in, and will +be true to you till the grave, and you... aren't you ashamed, you bad +child? You deceived me, had rows with me, left me alone for weeks on +end.... + +[LUKA enters in consternation.] + +LUKA. Madam, somebody is asking for you. He wants to see you.... + +POPOVA. But didn't you tell him that since the death of my husband I've +stopped receiving? + +LUKA. I did, but he wouldn't even listen; says that it's a very pressing +affair. + +POPOVA. I do not re-ceive! + +LUKA. I told him so, but the... the devil... curses and pushes himself +right in.... He's in the dining-room now. + +POPOVA. [Annoyed] Very well, ask him in.... What manners! [Exit LUKA] +How these people annoy me! What does he want of me? Why should he +disturb my peace? [Sighs] No, I see that I shall have to go into a +convent after all. [Thoughtfully] Yes, into a convent.... [Enter LUKA +with SMIRNOV.] + +SMIRNOV. [To LUKA] You fool, you're too fond of talking.... Ass! [Sees +POPOVA and speaks with respect] Madam, I have the honour to present +myself, I am Grigory Stepanovitch Smirnov, landowner and retired +lieutenant of artillery! I am compelled to disturb you on a very +pressing affair. + +POPOVA. [Not giving him her hand] What do you want? + +SMIRNOV. Your late husband, with whom I had the honour of being +acquainted, died in my debt for one thousand two hundred roubles, on +two bills of exchange. As I've got to pay the interest on a mortgage +to-morrow, I've come to ask you, madam, to pay me the money to-day. + +POPOVA. One thousand two hundred.... And what was my husband in debt to +you for? + +SMIRNOV. He used to buy oats from me. + +POPOVA. [Sighing, to LUKA] So don't you forget, Luka, to give Toby an +extra feed of oats. [Exit LUKA] If Nicolai Mihailovitch died in debt to +you, then I shall certainly pay you, but you must excuse me to-day, as I +haven't any spare cash. The day after to-morrow my steward will be back +from town, and I'll give him instructions to settle your account, but +at the moment I cannot do as you wish.... Moreover, it's exactly seven +months to-day since the death of my husband, and I'm in a state of mind +which absolutely prevents me from giving money matters my attention. + +SMIRNOV. And I'm in a state of mind which, if I don't pay the interest +due to-morrow, will force me to make a graceful exit from this life feet +first. They'll take my estate! + +POPOVA. You'll have your money the day after to-morrow. + +SMIRNOV. I don't want the money the day after tomorrow, I want it +to-day. + +POPOVA. You must excuse me, I can't pay you. + +SMIRNOV. And I can't wait till after to-morrow. + +POPOVA. Well, what can I do, if I haven't the money now! + +SMIRNOV. You mean to say, you can't pay me? + +POPOVA. I can't. + +SMIRNOV. Hm! Is that the last word you've got to say? + +POPOVA. Yes, the last word. + +SMIRNOV. The last word? Absolutely your last? + +POPOVA. Absolutely. + +SMIRNOV. Thank you so much. I'll make a note of it. [Shrugs his +shoulders] And then people want me to keep calm! I meet a man on +the road, and he asks me "Why are you always so angry, Grigory +Stepanovitch?" But how on earth am I not to get angry? I want the money +desperately. I rode out yesterday, early in the morning, and called on +all my debtors, and not a single one of them paid up! I was just about +dead-beat after it all, slept, goodness knows where, in some inn, kept +by a Jew, with a vodka-barrel by my head. At last I get here, seventy +versts from home, and hope to get something, and I am received by you +with a "state of mind"! How shouldn't I get angry. + +POPOVA. I thought I distinctly said my steward will pay you when he +returns from town. + +SMIRNOV. I didn't come to your steward, but to you! What the devil, +excuse my saying so, have I to do with your steward! + +POPOVA. Excuse me, sir, I am not accustomed to listen to such +expressions or to such a tone of voice. I want to hear no more. [Makes a +rapid exit.] + +SMIRNOV. Well, there! "A state of mind."... "Husband died seven months +ago!" Must I pay the interest, or mustn't I? I ask you: Must I pay, +or must I not? Suppose your husband is dead, and you've got a state +of mind, and nonsense of that sort.... And your steward's gone away +somewhere, devil take him, what do you want me to do? Do you think I can +fly away from my creditors in a balloon, or what? Or do you expect me +to go and run my head into a brick wall? I go to Grusdev and he isn't at +home, Yaroshevitch has hidden himself, I had a violent row with Kuritsin +and nearly threw him out of the window, Mazugo has something the matter +with his bowels, and this woman has "a state of mind." Not one of the +swine wants to pay me! Just because I'm too gentle with them, because +I'm a rag, just weak wax in their hands! I'm much too gentle with them! +Well, just you wait! You'll find out what I'm like! I shan't let you +play about with me, confound it! I shall jolly well stay here until she +pays! Brr!... How angry I am to-day, how angry I am! All my inside is +quivering with anger, and I can't even breathe.... Foo, my word, I even +feel sick! [Yells] Waiter! + +[Enter LUKA.] + +LUKA. What is it? + +SMIRNOV. Get me some kvass or water! [Exit LUKA] What a way to reason! A +man is in desperate need of his money, and she won't pay it because, +you see, she is not disposed to attend to money matters!... That's real +silly feminine logic. That's why I never did like, and don't like now, +to have to talk to women. I'd rather sit on a barrel of gunpowder than +talk to a woman. Brr!... I feel quite chilly--and it's all on account of +that little bit of fluff! I can't even see one of these poetic creatures +from a distance without breaking out into a cold sweat out of sheer +anger. I can't look at them. [Enter LUKA with water.] + +LUKA. Madam is ill and will see nobody. + +SMIRNOV. Get out! [Exit LUKA] Ill and will see nobody! No, it's all +right, you don't see me.... I'm going to stay and will sit here till you +give me the money. You can be ill for a week, if you like, and I'll stay +here for a week.... If you're ill for a year--I'll stay for a year. +I'm going to get my own, my dear! You don't get at me with your widow's +weeds and your dimpled cheeks! I know those dimples! [Shouts through the +window] Simeon, take them out! We aren't going away at once! I'm staying +here! Tell them in the stable to give the horses some oats! You +fool, you've let the near horse's leg get tied up in the reins again! +[Teasingly] "Never mind...." I'll give it you. "Never mind." [Goes away +from the window] Oh, it's bad.... The heat's frightful, nobody pays up. +I slept badly, and on top of everything else here's a bit of fluff in +mourning with "a state of mind."... My head's aching.... Shall I have +some vodka, what? Yes, I think I will. [Yells] Waiter! + +[Enter LUKA.] + +LUKA. What is it? + +SMIRNOV. A glass of vodka! [Exit LUKA] Ouf! [Sits and inspects himself] +I must say I look well! Dust all over, boots dirty, unwashed, unkempt, +straw on my waistcoat.... The dear lady may well have taken me for a +brigand. [Yawns] It's rather impolite to come into a drawing-room in +this state, but it can't be helped.... I am not here as a visitor, +but as a creditor, and there's no dress specially prescribed for +creditors.... + +[Enter LUKA with the vodka.] + +LUKA. You allow yourself to go very far, sir.... + +SMIRNOV [Angrily] What? + +LUKA. I... er... nothing... I really... + +SMIRNOV. Whom are you talking to? Shut up! + +LUKA. [Aside] The devil's come to stay.... Bad luck that brought him.... +[Exit.] + +SMIRNOV. Oh, how angry I am! So angry that I think I could grind the +whole world to dust.... I even feel sick.... [Yells] Waiter! + +[Enter POPOVA.] + +POPOVA. [Her eyes downcast] Sir, in my solitude I have grown +unaccustomed to the masculine voice, and I can't stand shouting. I must +ask you not to disturb my peace. + +SMIRNOV. Pay me the money, and I'll go. + +POPOVA. I told you perfectly plainly; I haven't any money to spare; wait +until the day after to-morrow. + +SMIRNOV. And I told you perfectly plainly I don't want the money the day +after to-morrow, but to-day. If you don't pay me to-day, I'll have to +hang myself to-morrow. + +POPOVA. But what can I do if I haven't got the money? You're so strange! + +SMIRNOV. Then you won't pay me now? Eh? + +POPOVA. I can't. + +SMIRNOV. In that case I stay here and shall wait until I get it. [Sits +down] You're going to pay me the day after to-morrow? Very well! I'll +stay here until the day after to-morrow. I'll sit here all the time.... +[Jumps up] I ask you: Have I got to pay the interest to-morrow, or +haven't I? Or do you think I'm doing this for a joke? + +POPOVA. Please don't shout! This isn't a stable! + +SMIRNOV. I wasn't asking you about a stable, but whether I'd got my +interest to pay to-morrow or not? + +POPOVA. You don't know how to behave before women! + +SMIRNOV. No, I do know how to behave before women! + +POPOVA. No, you don't! You're a rude, ill-bred man! Decent people don't +talk to a woman like that! + +SMIRNOV. What a business! How do you want me to talk to you? In French, +or what? [Loses his temper and lisps] _Madame, je vous prie_.... How +happy I am that you don't pay me.... Ah, pardon. I have disturbed you! +Such lovely weather to-day! And how well you look in mourning! [Bows.] + +POPOVA. That's silly and rude. + +SMIRNOV. [Teasing her] Silly and rude! I don't know how to behave before +women! Madam, in my time I've seen more women than you've seen sparrows! +Three times I've fought duels on account of women. I've refused twelve +women, and nine have refused me! Yes! There was a time when I played the +fool, scented myself, used honeyed words, wore jewellery, made beautiful +bows. I used to love, to suffer, to sigh at the moon, to get sour, to +thaw, to freeze.... I used to love passionately, madly, every blessed +way, devil take me; I used to chatter like a magpie about emancipation, +and wasted half my wealth on tender feelings, but now--you must excuse +me! You won't get round me like that now! I've had enough! Black eyes, +passionate eyes, ruby lips, dimpled cheeks, the moon, whispers, timid +breathing--I wouldn't give a brass farthing for the lot, madam! Present +company always excepted, all women, great or little, are insincere, +crooked, backbiters, envious, liars to the marrow of their bones, vain, +trivial, merciless, unreasonable, and, as far as this is concerned [taps +his forehead] excuse my outspokenness, a sparrow can give ten points to +any philosopher in petticoats you like to name! You look at one of +these poetic creatures: all muslin, an ethereal demi-goddess, you have a +million transports of joy, and you look into her soul--and see a common +crocodile! [He grips the back of a chair; the chair creaks and breaks] +But the most disgusting thing of all is that this crocodile for some +reason or other imagines that its chef d'oeuvre, its privilege and +monopoly, is its tender feelings. Why, confound it, hang me on that nail +feet upwards, if you like, but have you met a woman who can love anybody +except a lapdog? When she's in love, can she do anything but snivel and +slobber? While a man is suffering and making sacrifices all her love +expresses itself in her playing about with her scarf, and trying to hook +him more firmly by the nose. You have the misfortune to be a woman, you +know from yourself what is the nature of woman. Tell me truthfully, +have you ever seen a woman who was sincere, faithful, and constant? You +haven't! Only freaks and old women are faithful and constant! You'll +meet a cat with a horn or a white woodcock sooner than a constant woman! + +POPOVA. Then, according to you, who is faithful and constant in love? Is +it the man? + +SMIRNOV. Yes, the man! + +POPOVA. The man! [Laughs bitterly] Men are faithful and constant in +love! What an idea! [With heat] What right have you to talk like that? +Men are faithful and constant! Since we are talking about it, I'll +tell you that of all the men I knew and know, the best was my late +husband.... I loved him passionately with all my being, as only a young +and imaginative woman can love, I gave him my youth, my happiness, my +life, my fortune, I breathed in him, I worshipped him as if I were a +heathen, and... and what then? This best of men shamelessly deceived me +at every step! After his death I found in his desk a whole drawerful +of love-letters, and when he was alive--it's an awful thing to +remember!--he used to leave me alone for weeks at a time, and make love +to other women and betray me before my very eyes; he wasted my money, +and made fun of my feelings.... And, in spite of all that, I loved him +and was true to him. And not only that, but, now that he is dead, I +am still true and constant to his memory. I have shut myself for ever +within these four walls, and will wear these weeds to the very end.... + +SMIRNOV. [Laughs contemptuously] Weeds!... I don't understand what you +take me for. As if I don't know why you wear that black domino and bury +yourself between four walls! I should say I did! It's so mysterious, so +poetic! When some junker [Note: So in the original.] or some tame poet +goes past your windows he'll think: "There lives the mysterious Tamara +who, for the love of her husband, buried herself between four walls." We +know these games! + +POPOVA. [Exploding] What? How dare you say all that to me? + +SMIRNOV. You may have buried yourself alive, but you haven't forgotten +to powder your face! + +POPOVA. How dare you speak to me like that? + +SMIRNOV. Please don't shout, I'm not your steward! You must allow me to +call things by their real names. I'm not a woman, and I'm used to saying +what I think straight out! Don't you shout, either! + +POPOVA. I'm not shouting, it's you! Please leave me alone! + +SMIRNOV. Pay me my money and I'll go. + +POPOVA. I shan't give you any money! + +SMIRNOV. Oh, no, you will. + +POPOVA. I shan't give you a farthing, just to spite you. You leave me +alone! + +SMIRNOV. I have not the pleasure of being either your husband or your +fiance, so please don't make scenes. [Sits] I don't like it. + +POPOVA. [Choking with rage] So you sit down? + +SMIRNOV. I do. + +POPOVA. I ask you to go away! + +SMIRNOV. Give me my money.... [Aside] Oh, how angry I am! How angry I +am! + +POPOVA. I don't want to talk to impudent scoundrels! Get out of this! +[Pause] Aren't you going? No? + +SMIRNOV. No. + +POPOVA. No? + +SMIRNOV. No! + +POPOVA. Very well then! [Rings, enter LUKA] Luka, show this gentleman +out! + +LUKA. [Approaches SMIRNOV] Would you mind going out, sir, as you're +asked to! You needn't... + +SMIRNOV. [Jumps up] Shut up! Who are you talking to? I'll chop you into +pieces! + +LUKA. [Clutches at his heart] Little fathers!... What people!... [Falls +into a chair] Oh, I'm ill, I'm ill! I can't breathe! + +POPOVA. Where's Dasha? Dasha! [Shouts] Dasha! Pelageya! Dasha! [Rings.] + +LUKA. Oh! They've all gone out to pick fruit.... There's nobody at home! +I'm ill! Water! + +POPOVA. Get out of this, now. + +SMIRNOV. Can't you be more polite? + +POPOVA. [Clenches her fists and stamps her foot] You're a boor! A coarse +bear! A Bourbon! A monster! + +SMIRNOV. What? What did you say? + +POPOVA. I said you are a bear, a monster! + +SMIRNOV. [Approaching her] May I ask what right you have to insult me? + +POPOVA. And suppose I am insulting you? Do you think I'm afraid of you? + +SMIRNOV. And do you think that just because you're a poetic creature you +can insult me with impunity? Eh? We'll fight it out! + +LUKA. Little fathers!... What people!... Water! + +SMIRNOV. Pistols! + +POPOVA. Do you think I'm afraid of you just because you have large fists +and a bull's throat? Eh? You Bourbon! + +SMIRNOV. We'll fight it out! I'm not going to be insulted by anybody, +and I don't care if you are a woman, one of the "softer sex," indeed! + +POPOVA. [Trying to interrupt him] Bear! Bear! Bear! + +SMIRNOV. It's about time we got rid of the prejudice that only men need +pay for their insults. Devil take it, if you want equality of rights you +can have it. We're going to fight it out! + +POPOVA. With pistols? Very well! + +SMIRNOV. This very minute. + +POPOVA. This very minute! My husband had some pistols.... I'll bring +them here. [Is going, but turns back] What pleasure it will give me to +put a bullet into your thick head! Devil take you! [Exit.] + +SMIRNOV. I'll bring her down like a chicken! I'm not a little boy or a +sentimental puppy; I don't care about this "softer sex." + +LUKA. Gracious little fathers!... [Kneels] Have pity on a poor old man, +and go away from here! You've frightened her to death, and now you want +to shoot her! + +SMIRNOV. [Not hearing him] If she fights, well that's equality of +rights, emancipation, and all that! Here the sexes are equal! I'll shoot +her on principle! But what a woman! [Parodying her] "Devil take you! +I'll put a bullet into your thick head." Eh? How she reddened, how her +cheeks shone!... She accepted my challenge! My word, it's the first time +in my life that I've seen.... + +LUKA. Go away, sir, and I'll always pray to God for you! + +SMIRNOV. She is a woman! That's the sort I can understand! A real woman! +Not a sour-faced jellybag, but fire, gunpowder, a rocket! I'm even sorry +to have to kill her! + +LUKA. [Weeps] Dear... dear sir, do go away! + +SMIRNOV. I absolutely like her! Absolutely! Even though her cheeks are +dimpled, I like her! I'm almost ready to let the debt go... and I'm not +angry any longer.... Wonderful woman! + +[Enter POPOVA with pistols.] + +POPOVA. Here are the pistols.... But before we fight you must show me +how to fire. I've never held a pistol in my hands before. + +LUKA. Oh, Lord, have mercy and save her.... I'll go and find the +coachman and the gardener.... Why has this infliction come on us.... +[Exit.] + +SMIRNOV. [Examining the pistols] You see, there are several sorts of +pistols.... There are Mortimer pistols, specially made for duels, they +fire a percussion-cap. These are Smith and Wesson revolvers, triple +action, with extractors.... These are excellent pistols. They can't cost +less than ninety roubles the pair.... You must hold the revolver like +this.... [Aside] Her eyes, her eyes! What an inspiring woman! + +POPOVA. Like this? + +SMIRNOV. Yes, like this.... Then you cock the trigger, and take aim like +this.... Put your head back a little! Hold your arm out properly.... +Like that.... Then you press this thing with your finger--and that's +all. The great thing is to keep cool and aim steadily.... Try not to +jerk your arm. + +POPOVA. Very well.... It's inconvenient to shoot in a room, let's go +into the garden. + +SMIRNOV. Come along then. But I warn you, I'm going to fire in the air. + +POPOVA. That's the last straw! Why? + +SMIRNOV. Because... because... it's my affair. + +POPOVA. Are you afraid? Yes? Ah! No, sir, you don't get out of it! You +come with me! I shan't have any peace until I've made a hole in your +forehead... that forehead which I hate so much! Are you afraid? + +SMIRNOV. Yes, I am afraid. + +POPOVA. You lie! Why won't you fight? + +SMIRNOV. Because... because you... because I like you. + +POPOVA. [Laughs] He likes me! He dares to say that he likes me! [Points +to the door] That's the way. + +SMIRNOV. [Loads the revolver in silence, takes his cap and goes to the +door. There he stops for half a minute, while they look at each other +in silence, then he hesitatingly approaches POPOVA] Listen.... Are you +still angry? I'm devilishly annoyed, too... but, do you understand... +how can I express myself?... The fact is, you see, it's like this, so to +speak.... [Shouts] Well, is it my fault that I like you? [He snatches at +the back of a chair; the chair creaks and breaks] Devil take it, how I'm +smashing up your furniture! I like you! Do you understand? I... I almost +love you! + +POPOVA. Get away from me--I hate you! + +SMIRNOV. God, what a woman! I've never in my life seen one like her! I'm +lost! Done for! Fallen into a mousetrap, like a mouse! + +POPOVA. Stand back, or I'll fire! + +SMIRNOV. Fire, then! You can't understand what happiness it would be to +die before those beautiful eyes, to be shot by a revolver held in that +little, velvet hand.... I'm out of my senses! Think, and make up your +mind at once, because if I go out we shall never see each other again! +Decide now.... I am a landowner, of respectable character, have an +income of ten thousand a year. I can put a bullet through a coin tossed +into the air as it comes down.... I own some fine horses.... Will you be +my wife? + +POPOVA. [Indignantly shakes her revolver] Let's fight! Let's go out! + +SMIRNOV. I'm mad.... I understand nothing. [Yells] Waiter, water! + +POPOVA. [Yells] Let's go out and fight! + +SMIRNOV. I'm off my head, I'm in love like a boy, like a fool! [Snatches +her hand, she screams with pain] I love you! [Kneels] I love you as I've +never loved before! I've refused twelve women, nine have refused me, +but I never loved one of them as I love you.... I'm weak, I'm wax, I've +melted.... I'm on my knees like a fool, offering you my hand.... Shame, +shame! I haven't been in love for five years, I'd taken a vow, and now +all of a sudden I'm in love, like a fish out of water! I offer you my +hand. Yes or no? You don't want me? Very well! [Gets up and quickly goes +to the door.] + +POPOVA. Stop. + +SMIRNOV. [Stops] Well? + +POPOVA. Nothing, go away.... No, stop.... No, go away, go away! I hate +you! Or no.... Don't go away! Oh, if you knew how angry I am, how angry +I am! [Throws her revolver on the table] My fingers have swollen because +of all this.... [Tears her handkerchief in temper] What are you waiting +for? Get out! + +SMIRNOV. Good-bye. + +POPOVA. Yes, yes, go away!... [Yells] Where are you going? Stop.... No, +go away. Oh, how angry I am! Don't come near me, don't come near me! + +SMIRNOV. [Approaching her] How angry I am with myself! I'm in love like +a student, I've been on my knees.... [Rudely] I love you! What do I want +to fall in love with you for? To-morrow I've got to pay the interest, +and begin mowing, and here you.... [Puts his arms around her] I shall +never forgive myself for this.... + +POPOVA. Get away from me! Take your hands away! I hate you! Let's go and +fight! + +[A prolonged kiss. Enter LUKA with an axe, the GARDENER with a rake, the +COACHMAN with a pitchfork, and WORKMEN with poles.] + +LUKA. [Catches sight of the pair kissing] Little fathers! [Pause.] + +POPOVA. [Lowering her eyes] Luka, tell them in the stables that Toby +isn't to have any oats at all to-day. + +Curtain. + + + + + +A TRAGEDIAN IN SPITE OF HIMSELF + + +CHARACTERS + + IVAN IVANOVITCH TOLKACHOV, the father of a family + ALEXEY ALEXEYEVITCH MURASHKIN, his friend + +The scene is laid in St. Petersburg, in MURASHKIN'S flat + + +[MURASHKIN'S study. Comfortable furniture. MURASHKIN is seated at his +desk. Enter TOLKACHOV holding in his hands a glass globe for a lamp, +a toy bicycle, three hat-boxes, a large parcel containing a dress, a +bin-case of beer, and several little parcels. He looks round stupidly +and lets himself down on the sofa in exhaustion.] + +MURASHKIN. How do you do, Ivan Ivanovitch? Delighted to see you! What +brings you here? + +TOLKACHOV. [Breathing heavily] My dear good fellow... I want to ask +you something.... I implore you lend me a revolver till to-morrow. Be a +friend! + +MURASHKIN. What do you want a revolver for? + +TOLKACHOV. I must have it.... Oh, little fathers!... give me some +water... water quickly!... I must have it... I've got to go through a +dark wood to-night, so in case of accidents... do, please, lend it to +me. + +MURASHKIN. Oh, you liar, Ivan Ivanovitch! What the devil have you got to +do in a dark wood? I expect you are up to something. I can see by your +face that you are up to something. What's the matter with you? Are you +ill? + +TOLKACHOV. Wait a moment, let me breathe.... Oh little mothers! I am +dog-tired. I've got a feeling all over me, and in my head as well, as if +I've been roasted on a spit. I can't stand it any longer. Be a friend, +and don't ask me any questions or insist on details; just give me the +revolver! I beseech you! + +MURASHKIN. Well, really! Ivan Ivanovitch, what cowardice is this? The +father of a family and a Civil Servant holding a responsible post! For +shame! + +TOLKACHOV. What sort of a father of a family am I! I am a martyr. I am +a beast of burden, a nigger, a slave, a rascal who keeps on waiting here +for something to happen instead of starting off for the next world. I am +a rag, a fool, an idiot. Why am I alive? What's the use? [Jumps up] Well +now, tell me why am I alive? What's the purpose of this uninterrupted +series of mental and physical sufferings? I understand being a martyr +to an idea, yes! But to be a martyr to the devil knows what, skirts and +lamp-globes, no! I humbly decline! No, no, no! I've had enough! Enough! + +MURASHKIN. Don't shout, the neighbours will hear you! + +TOLKACHOV. Let your neighbours hear; it's all the same to me! If you +don't give me a revolver somebody else will, and there will be an end of +me anyway! I've made up my mind! + +MURASHKIN. Hold on, you've pulled off a button. Speak calmly. I still +don't understand what's wrong with your life. + +TOLKACHOV. What's wrong? You ask me what's wrong? Very well, I'll tell +you! Very well! I'll tell you everything, and then perhaps my soul will +be lighter. Let's sit down. Now listen... Oh, little mothers, I am out +of breath!... Just let's take to-day as an instance. Let's take to-day. +As you know, I've got to work at the Treasury from ten to four. It's +hot, it's stuffy, there are flies, and, my dear fellow, the very dickens +of a chaos. The Secretary is on leave, Khrapov has gone to get married, +and the smaller fry is mostly in the country, making love or occupied +with amateur theatricals. Everybody is so sleepy, tired, and done up +that you can't get any sense out of them. The Secretary's duties are in +the hands of an individual who is deaf in the left ear and in love; the +public has lost its memory; everybody is running about angry and raging, +and there is such a hullabaloo that you can't hear yourself speak. +Confusion and smoke everywhere. And my work is deathly: always the same, +always the same--first a correction, then a reference back, another +correction, another reference back; it's all as monotonous as the waves +of the sea. One's eyes, you understand, simply crawl out of one's head. +Give me some water.... You come out a broken, exhausted man. You would +like to dine and fall asleep, but you don't!--You remember that you live +in the country--that is, you are a slave, a rag, a bit of string, a bit +of limp flesh, and you've got to run round and do errands. Where we live +a pleasant custom has grown up: when a man goes to town every wretched +female inhabitant, not to mention one's own wife, has the power and the +right to give him a crowd of commissions. The wife orders you to run +into the modiste's and curse her for making a bodice too wide across the +chest and too narrow across the shoulders; little Sonya wants a new pair +of shoes; your sister-in-law wants some scarlet silk like the pattern +at twenty copecks and three arshins long.... Just wait; I'll read you. +[Takes a note out of his pocket and reads] A globe for the lamp; one +pound of pork sausages; five copecks' worth of cloves and cinnamon; +castor-oil for Misha; ten pounds of granulated sugar. To bring with you +from home: a copper jar for the sugar; carbolic acid; insect powder, ten +copecks' worth; twenty bottles of beer; vinegar; and corsets for Mlle. +Shanceau at No. 82.... Ouf! And to bring home Misha's winter coat and +goloshes. That is the order of my wife and family. Then there are +the commissions of our dear friends and neighbours--devil take them! +To-morrow is the name-day of Volodia Vlasin; I have to buy a bicycle +for him. The wife of Lieutenant-Colonel Virkhin is in an interesting +condition, and I am therefore bound to call in at the midwife's every +day and invite her to come. And so on, and so on. There are five notes +in my pocket and my handkerchief is all knots. And so, my dear fellow, +you spend the time between your office and your train, running about the +town like a dog with your tongue hanging out, running and running and +cursing life. From the clothier's to the chemist's, from the chemist's +to the modiste's, from the modiste's to the pork butcher's, and then +back again to the chemist's. In one place you stumble, in a second you +lose your money, in a third you forget to pay and they raise a hue and +cry after you, in a fourth you tread on the train of a lady's dress.... +Tfoo! You get so shaken up from all this that your bones ache all night +and you dream of crocodiles. Well, you've made all your purchases, but +how are you to pack all these things? For instance, how are you to put a +heavy copper jar together with the lamp-globe or the carbolic acid with +the tea? How are you to make a combination of beer-bottles and this +bicycle? It's the labours of Hercules, a puzzle, a rebus! Whatever +tricks you think of, in the long run you're bound to smash or scatter +something, and at the station and in the train you have to stand with +your arms apart, holding up some parcel or other under your chin, with +parcels, cardboard boxes, and such-like rubbish all over you. The train +starts, the passengers begin to throw your luggage about on all sides: +you've got your things on somebody else's seat. They yell, they call for +the conductor, they threaten to have you put out, but what can I do? I +just stand and blink my eyes like a whacked donkey. Now listen to this. +I get home. You think I'd like to have a nice little drink after my +righteous labours and a good square meal--isn't that so?--but there is +no chance of that. My spouse has been on the look-out for me for some +time. You've hardly started on your soup when she has her claws into +you, wretched slave that you are--and wouldn't you like to go to some +amateur theatricals or to a dance? You can't protest. You are a husband, +and the word husband when translated into the language of summer +residents in the country means a dumb beast which you can load to +any extent without fear of the interference of the Society for the +Prevention of Cruelty to Animals. So you go and blink at "A Family +Scandal" or something, you applaud when your wife tells you to, and you +feel worse and worse and worse until you expect an apoplectic fit to +happen any moment. If you go to a dance you have to find partners +for your wife, and if there is a shortage of them then you dance the +quadrilles yourself. You get back from the theatre or the dance after +midnight, when you are no longer a man but a useless, limp rag. Well, +at last you've got what you want; you unrobe and get into bed. It's +excellent--you can close your eyes and sleep.... Everything is so nice, +poetic, and warm, you understand; there are no children squealing +behind the wall, and you've got rid of your wife, and your conscience is +clear--what more can you want? You fall asleep--and suddenly... you +hear a buzz!... Gnats! [Jumps up] Gnats! Be they triply accursed Gnats! +[Shakes his fist] Gnats! It's one of the plagues of Egypt, one of the +tortures of the Inquisition! Buzz! It sounds so pitiful, so pathetic, as +if it's begging your pardon, but the villain stings so that you have +to scratch yourself for an hour after. You smoke, and go for them, and +cover yourself from head to foot, but it is no good! At last you have +to sacrifice yourself and let the cursed things devour you. You've no +sooner got used to the gnats when another plague begins: downstairs +your wife begins practising sentimental songs with her two friends. They +sleep by day and rehearse for amateur concerts by night. Oh, my God! +Those tenors are a torture with which no gnats on earth can compare. +[He sings] "Oh, tell me not my youth has ruined you." "Before thee do I +stand enchanted." Oh, the beastly things! They've about killed me! So +as to deafen myself a little I do this: I drum on my ears. This goes on +till four o'clock. Oh, give me some more water, brother!... I can't... +Well, not having slept, you get up at six o'clock in the morning and +off you go to the station. You run so as not to be late, and it's muddy, +foggy, cold--brr! Then you get to town and start all over again. So +there, brother. It's a horrible life; I wouldn't wish one like it for my +enemy. You understand--I'm ill! Got asthma, heartburn--I'm always afraid +of something. I've got indigestion, everything is thick before me... +I've become a regular psychopath.... [Looking round] Only, between +ourselves, I want to go down to see Chechotte or Merzheyevsky. There's +some devil in me, brother. In moments of despair and suffering, when the +gnats are stinging or the tenors sing, everything suddenly grows dim; +you jump up and race round the whole house like a lunatic and shout, "I +want blood! Blood!" And really all the time you do want to let a knife +into somebody or hit him over the head with a chair. That's what life +in a summer villa leads to! And nobody has any sympathy for me, and +everybody seems to think it's all as it should be. People even laugh. +But understand, I am a living being and I want to live! This isn't +farce, it's tragedy! I say, if you don't give me your revolver, you +might at any rate sympathize. + +MURASHKIN. I do sympathize. + +TOLKACHOV. I see how much you sympathize.... Good-bye. I've got to buy +some anchovies and some sausage... and some tooth-powder, and then to +the station. + +MURASHKIN. Where are you living? + +TOLKACHOV. At Carrion River. + +MURASHKIN. [Delighted] Really? Then you'll know Olga Pavlovna Finberg, +who lives there? + +TOLKACHOV. I know her. We are even acquainted. + +MURASHKIN. How perfectly splendid! That's so convenient, and it would be +so good of you... + +TOLKACHOV. What's that? + +MURASHKIN. My dear fellow, wouldn't you do one little thing for me? Be a +friend! Promise me now. + +TOLKACHOV. What's that? + +MURASHKIN. It would be such a friendly action! I implore you, my dear +man. In the first place, give Olga Pavlovna my very kind regards. In the +second place, there's a little thing I'd like you to take down to her. +She asked me to get a sewing-machine but I haven't anybody to send it +down to her by.... You take it, my dear! And you might at the same time +take down this canary in its cage... only be careful, or you'll break +the door.... What are you looking at me like that for? + +TOLKACHOV. A sewing-machine... a canary in a cage... siskins, +chaffinches... + +MURASHKIN. Ivan Ivanovitch, what's the matter with you? Why are you +turning purple? + +TOLKACHOV. [Stamping] Give me the sewing-machine! Where's the bird-cage? +Now get on top yourself! Eat me! Tear me to pieces! Kill me! [Clenching +his fists] I want blood! Blood! Blood! + +MURASHKIN. You've gone mad! + +TOLKACHOV. [Treading on his feet] I want blood! Blood! + +MURASHKIN. [In horror] He's gone mad! [Shouts] Peter! Maria! Where are +you? Help! + +TOLKACHOV. [Chasing him round the room] I want blood! Blood! + +Curtain. + + + + + +THE ANNIVERSARY + + +CHARACTERS + + ANDREY ANDREYEVITCH SHIPUCHIN, Chairman of the N---- Joint Stock + Bank, a middle-aged man, with a monocle + TATIANA ALEXEYEVNA, his wife, aged 25 + KUSMA NICOLAIEVITCH KHIRIN, the bank's aged book-keeper + NASTASYA FYODOROVNA MERCHUTKINA, an old woman wearing an old-fashioned + cloak + DIRECTORS OF THE BANK + EMPLOYEES OF THE BANK + +The action takes place at the Bank + + +[The private office of the Chairman of Directors. On the left is a door, +leading into the public department. There are two desks. The furniture +aims at a deliberately luxurious effect, with armchairs covered in +velvet, flowers, statues, carpets, and a telephone. It is midday. KHIRIN +is alone; he wears long felt boots, and is shouting through the door.] + +KHIRIN. Send out to the chemist for 15 copecks' worth of valerian drops, +and tell them to bring some drinking water into the Directors' office! +This is the hundredth time I've asked! [Goes to a desk] I'm absolutely +tired out. This is the fourth day I've been working, without a chance of +shutting my eyes. From morning to evening I work here, from evening to +morning at home. [Coughs] And I've got an inflammation all over me. +I'm hot and cold, and I cough, and my legs ache, and there's something +dancing before my eyes. [Sits] Our scoundrel of a Chairman, the brute, +is going to read a report at a general meeting. "Our Bank, its Present +and Future." You'd think he was a Gambetta.... [At work] Two... one... +one... six... nought... seven.... Next, six... nought... one... six.... +He just wants to throw dust into people's eyes, and so I sit here and +work for him like a galley-slave! This report of his is poetic fiction +and nothing more, and here I've got to sit day after day and add +figures, devil take his soul! [Rattles on his counting-frame] I can't +stand it! [Writing] That is, one... three... seven... two... one... +nought.... He promised to reward me for my work. If everything goes well +to-day and the public is properly put into blinkers, he's promised me a +gold charm and 300 roubles bonus.... We'll see. [Works] Yes, but if +my work all goes for nothing, then you'd better look out.... I'm very +excitable.... If I lose my temper I'm capable of committing some crime, +so look out! Yes! + +[Noise and applause behind the scenes. SHIPUCHIN'S voice: "Thank +you! Thank you! I am extremely grateful." Enter SHIPUCHIN. He wears +a frockcoat and white tie; he carries an album which has been just +presented to him.] + +SHIPUCHIN. [At the door, addresses the outer office] This present, my +dear colleagues, will be preserved to the day of my death, as a memory +of the happiest days of my life! Yes, gentlemen! Once more, I thank you! +[Throws a kiss into the air and turns to KHIRIN] My dear, my respected +Kusma Nicolaievitch! + +[All the time that SHIPUCHIN is on the stage, clerks intermittently come +in with papers for his signature and go out.] + +KHIRIN. [Standing up] I have the honour to congratulate you, Andrey +Andreyevitch, on the fiftieth anniversary of our Bank, and hope that... + +SHIPUCHIN. [Warmly shakes hands] Thank you, my dear sir! Thank you! +I think that in view of the unique character of the day, as it is an +anniversary, we may kiss each other!... [They kiss] I am very, very +glad! Thank you for your service... for everything! If, in the course of +the time during which I have had the honour to be Chairman of this Bank +anything useful has been done, the credit is due, more than to anybody +else, to my colleagues. [Sighs] Yes, fifteen years! Fifteen years as my +name's Shipuchin! [Changes his tone] Where's my report? Is it getting +on? + +KHIRIN. Yes; there's only five pages left. + +SHIPUCHIN. Excellent. Then it will be ready by three? + +KHIRIN. If nothing occurs to disturb me, I'll get it done. Nothing of +any importance is now left. + +SHIPUCHIN. Splendid. Splendid, as my name's Shipuchin! The general +meeting will be at four. If you please, my dear fellow. Give me the +first half, I'll peruse it.... Quick.... [Takes the report] I base +enormous hopes on this report. It's my _profession de foi_, or, better +still, my firework. [Note: The actual word employed.] My firework, as my +name's Shipuchin! [Sits and reads the report to himself] I'm hellishly +tired.... My gout kept on giving me trouble last night, all the morning +I was running about, and then these excitements, ovations, agitations... +I'm tired! + +KHIRIN. Two... nought... nought... three... nine... two... nought. I +can't see straight after all these figures.... Three... one... six... +four... one... five.... [Uses the counting-frame.] + +SHIPUCHIN. Another unpleasantness.... This morning your wife came to +see me and complained about you once again. Said that last night you +threatened her and her sister with a knife. Kusma Nicolaievitch, what do +you mean by that? Oh, oh! + +KHIRIN. [Rudely] As it's an anniversary, Andrey Andreyevitch, I'll ask +for a special favour. Please, even if it's only out of respect for my +toil, don't interfere in my family life. Please! + +SHIPUCHIN. [Sighs] Yours is an impossible character, Kusma +Nicolaievitch! You're an excellent and respected man, but you behave to +women like some scoundrel. Yes, really. I don't understand why you hate +them so? + +KHIRIN. I wish I could understand why you love them so! [Pause.] + +SHIPUCHIN. The employees have just presented me with an album; and the +Directors, as I've heard, are going to give me an address and a silver +loving-cup.... [Playing with his monocle] Very nice, as my name's +Shipuchin! It isn't excessive. A certain pomp is essential to the +reputation of the Bank, devil take it! You know everything, of +course.... I composed the address myself, and I bought the cup myself, +too.... Well, then there was 45 roubles for the cover of the address, +but you can't do without that. They'd never have thought of it for +themselves. [Looks round] Look at the furniture! Just look at it! They +say I'm stingy, that all I want is that the locks on the doors should +be polished, that the employees should wear fashionable ties, and that +a fat hall-porter should stand by the door. No, no, sirs. Polished locks +and a fat porter mean a good deal. I can behave as I like at home, eat +and sleep like a pig, get drunk.... + +KHIRIN. Please don't make hints. + +SHIPUCHIN. Nobody's making hints! What an impossible character +yours is.... As I was saying, at home I can live like a tradesman, a +_parvenu_, and be up to any games I like, but here everything must be +_en grand_. This is a Bank! Here every detail must _imponiren_, so to +speak, and have a majestic appearance. [He picks up a paper from the +floor and throws it into the fireplace] My service to the Bank has been +just this--I've raised its reputation. A thing of immense importance is +tone! Immense, as my name's Shipuchin! [Looks over KHIRIN] My dear man, +a deputation of shareholders may come here any moment, and there you are +in felt boots, wearing a scarf... in some absurdly coloured jacket.... +You might have put on a frock-coat, or at any rate a dark jacket.... + +KHIRIN. My health matters more to me than your shareholders. I've an +inflammation all over me. + +SHIPUCHIN. [Excitedly] But you will admit that it's untidy! You spoil +the _ensemble_! + +KHIRIN. If the deputation comes I can go and hide myself. It won't +matter if... seven... one... seven... two... one... five... nought. +I don't like untidiness myself.... Seven... two... nine... [Uses the +counting-frame] I can't stand untidiness! It would have been wiser of +you not to have invited ladies to to-day's anniversary dinner.... + +SHIPUCHIN. Oh, that's nothing. + +KHIRIN. I know that you're going to have the hall filled with them +to-night to make a good show, but you look out, or they'll spoil +everything. They cause all sorts of mischief and disorder. + +SHIPUCHIN. On the contrary, feminine society elevates! + +KHIRIN. Yes.... Your wife seems intelligent, but on the Monday of last +week she let something off that upset me for two days. In front of a +lot of people she suddenly asks: "Is it true that at our Bank my husband +bought up a lot of the shares of the Driazhsky-Priazhsky Bank, which +have been falling on exchange? My husband is so annoyed about it!" This +in front of people. Why do you tell them everything, I don't understand. +Do you want them to get you into serious trouble? + +SHIPUCHIN. Well, that's enough, enough! All that's too dull for an +anniversary. Which reminds me, by the way. [Looks at the time] My wife +ought to be here soon. I really ought to have gone to the station, to +meet the poor little thing, but there's no time.... and I'm tired. I +must say I'm not glad of her! That is to say, I am glad, but I'd be +gladder if she only stayed another couple of days with her mother. +She'll want me to spend the whole evening with her to-night, whereas +we have arranged a little excursion for ourselves.... [Shivers] Oh, my +nerves have already started dancing me about. They are so strained that +I think the very smallest trifle would be enough to make me break into +tears! No, I must be strong, as my name's Shipuchin! + +[Enter TATIANA ALEXEYEVNA SHIPUCHIN in a waterproof, with a little +travelling satchel slung across her shoulder.] + +SHIPUCHIN. Ah! In the nick of time! + +TATIANA ALEXEYEVNA. Darling! + +[Runs to her husband: a prolonged kiss.] + +SHIPUCHIN. We were only speaking of you just now! [Looks at his watch.] + +TATIANA ALEXEYEVNA. [Panting] Were you very dull without me? Are you +well? I haven't been home yet, I came here straight from the station. +I've a lot, a lot to tell you.... I couldn't wait.... I shan't take off +my clothes, I'll only stay a minute. [To KHIRIN] Good morning, Kusma +Nicolaievitch! [To her husband] Is everything all right at home? + +SHIPUCHIN. Yes, quite. And, you know, you've got to look plumper and +better this week.... Well, what sort of a time did you have? + +TATIANA ALEXEYEVNA. Splendid. Mamma and Katya send their regards. +Vassili Andreitch sends you a kiss. [Kisses him] Aunt sends you a jar +of jam, and is annoyed because you don't write. Zina sends you a kiss. +[Kisses.] Oh, if you knew what's happened. If you only knew! I'm even +frightened to tell you! Oh, if you only knew! But I see by your eyes +that you're sorry I came! + +SHIPUCHIN. On the contrary.... Darling.... [Kisses her.] + +[KHIRIN coughs angrily.] + +TATIANA ALEXEYEVNA. Oh, poor Katya, poor Katya! I'm so sorry for her, so +sorry for her. + +SHIPUCHIN. This is the Bank's anniversary to-day, darling, we may get a +deputation of the shareholders at any moment, and you're not dressed. + +TATIANA ALEXEYEVNA. Oh, yes, the anniversary! I congratulate you, +gentlemen. I wish you.... So it means that to-day's the day of the +meeting, the dinner.... That's good. And do you remember that beautiful +address which you spent such a long time composing for the shareholders? +Will it be read to-day? + +[KHIRIN coughs angrily.] + +SHIPUCHIN. [Confused] My dear, we don't talk about these things. You'd +really better go home. + +TATIANA ALEXEYEVNA. In a minute, in a minute. I'll tell you everything +in one minute and go. I'll tell you from the very beginning. Well.... +When you were seeing me off, you remember I was sitting next to that +stout lady, and I began to read. I don't like to talk in the train. I +read for three stations and didn't say a word to anyone.... Well, then +the evening set in, and I felt so mournful, you know, with such sad +thoughts! A young man was sitting opposite me--not a bad-looking fellow, +a brunette.... Well, we fell into conversation.... A sailor came along +then, then some student or other.... [Laughs] I told them that I wasn't +married... and they did look after me! We chattered till midnight, the +brunette kept on telling the most awfully funny stories, and the sailor +kept on singing. My chest began to ache from laughing. And when the +sailor--oh, those sailors!--when he got to know my name was TATIANA, you +know what he sang? [Sings in a bass voice] "Onegin don't let me conceal +it, I love Tatiana madly!" [Note: From the Opera _Evgeni Onegin_--words +by Pushkin.] [Roars with laughter.] + +[KHIRIN coughs angrily.] + +SHIPUCHIN. Tania, dear, you're disturbing Kusma Nicolaievitch. Go home, +dear.... Later on.... + +TATIANA ALEXEYEVNA. No, no, let him hear if he wants to, it's awfully +interesting. I'll end in a minute. Serezha came to meet me at the +station. Some young man or other turns up, an inspector of taxes, I +think... quite handsome, especially his eyes.... Serezha introduced me, +and the three of us rode off together.... It was lovely weather.... + +[Voices behind the stage: "You can't, you can't! What do you want?" +Enter MERCHUTKINA, waving her arms about.] + +MERCHUTKINA. What are you dragging at me for. What else! I want him +himself! [To SHIPUCHIN] I have the honour, your excellency... I am the +wife of a civil servant, Nastasya Fyodorovna Merchutkina. + +SHIPUCHIN. What do you want? + +MERCHUTKINA. Well, you see, your excellency, my husband has been ill for +five months, and while he was at home, getting better, he was suddenly +dismissed for no reason, your excellency, and when I went to get his +salary, they, you see, deducted 24 roubles 36 copecks from it. What for? +I ask. They said, "Well, he drew it from the employees' account, and the +others had to make it up." How can that be? How could he draw anything +without my permission? No, your excellency! I'm a poor woman... my +lodgers are all I have to live on.... I'm weak and defenceless.... +Everybody does me some harm, and nobody has a kind word for me. + +SHIPUCHIN. Excuse me. [Takes a petition from her and reads it standing.] + +TATIANA ALEXEYEVNA. [To KHIRIN] Yes, but first we.... Last week I +suddenly received a letter from my mother. She writes that a certain +Grendilevsky has proposed to my sister Katya. A nice, modest, young +man, but with no means of his own, and no assured position. And, +unfortunately, just think of it, Katya is absolutely gone on him. +What's to be done? Mamma writes telling me to come at once and influence +Katya.... + +KHIRIN. [Angrily] Excuse me, you've made me lose my place! You go +talking about your mamma and Katya, and I understand nothing; and I've +lost my place. + +TATIANA ALEXEYEVNA. What does that matter? You listen when a lady is +talking to you! Why are you so angry to-day? Are you in love? [Laughs.] + +SHIPUCHIN. [To MERCHUTKINA] Excuse me, but what is this? I can't make +head or tail of it. + +TATIANA ALEXEYEVNA. Are you in love? Aha! You're blushing! + +SHIPUCHIN. [To his wife] Tanya, dear, do go out into the public office +for a moment. I shan't be long. + +TATIANA ALEXEYEVNA. All right. [Goes out.] + +SHIPUCHIN. I don't understand anything of this. You've obviously come +to the wrong place, madam. Your petition doesn't concern us at all. You +should go to the department in which your husband was employed. + +MERCHUTKINA. I've been there a good many times these five months, and +they wouldn't even look at my petition. I'd given up all hopes, but, +thanks to my son-in-law, Boris Matveyitch, I thought of coming to +you. "You go, mother," he says, "and apply to Mr. Shipuchin, he's an +influential man and can do anything." Help me, your excellency! + +SHIPUCHIN. We can't do anything for you, Mrs. Merchutkina. You must +understand that your husband, so far as I can gather, was in the employ +of the Army Medical Department, while this is a private, commercial +concern, a bank. Don't you understand that? + +MERCHUTKINA. Your excellency, I can produce a doctor's certificate of my +husband's illness. Here it is, just look at it.... + +SHIPUCHIN. [Irritated] That's all right; I quite believe you, but it's +not our business. [Behind the scene, TATIANA ALEXEYEVNA'S laughter is +heard, then a man's. SHIPUCHIN glances at the door] She's disturbing +the employees. [To MERCHUTKINA] It's strange and it's even silly. Surely +your husband knows where you ought to apply? + +MERCHUTKINA. Your excellency, I don't let him know anything. He just +cried out: "It isn't your business! Get out of this!" And... + +SHIPUCHIN. Madam, I repeat, your husband was in the employ of the Army +Medical Department, and this is a bank, a private, commercial concern. + +MERCHUTKINA. Yes, yes, yes.... I understand, my dear. In that case, your +excellency, just order them to pay me 15 roubles! I don't mind taking +that to be going on with. + +SHIPUCHIN. [Sighs] Ouf! + +KHIRIN. Andrey Andreyevitch, I'll never finish the report at this rate! + +SHIPUCHIN. One moment. [To MERCHUTKINA] I can't get any sense out of +you. But do understand that your taking this business here is as absurd +as if you took a divorce petition to a chemist's or into a gold assay +office. [Knock at the door. The voice of TATIANA ALEXEYEVNA is heard, +"Can I come in, Andrey?" SHIPUCHIN shouts] Just wait one minute, dear! +[To MERCHUTKINA] What has it got to do with us if you haven't been paid? +As it happens, madam, this is an anniversary to-day, we're busy... and +somebody may be coming here at any moment.... Excuse me.... + +MERCHUTKINA. Your excellency, have pity on me, an orphan! I'm a weak, +defenceless woman.... I'm tired to death.... I'm having trouble with my +lodgers, and on account of my husband, and I've got the house to look +after, and my son-in-law is out of work.... + +SHIPUCHIN. Mrs. Merchutkina, I... No, excuse me, I can't talk to you! My +head's even in a whirl.... You are disturbing us and making us waste +our time. [Sighs, aside] What a business, as my name's Shipuchin! +[To KHIRIN] Kusma Nicolaievitch, will you please explain to Mrs. +Merchutkina. [Waves his hand and goes out into public department.] + +KHIRIN. [Approaching MERCHUTKINA, angrily] What do you want? + +MERCHUTKINA. I'm a weak, defenceless woman.... I may look all right, but +if you were to take me to pieces you wouldn't find a single healthy bit +in me! I can hardly stand on my legs, and I've lost my appetite. I drank +my coffee to-day and got no pleasure out of it. + +KHIRIN. I ask you, what do you want? + +MERCHUTKINA. Tell them, my dear, to give me 15 roubles, and a month +later will do for the rest. + +KHIRIN. But haven't you been told perfectly plainly that this is a bank! + +MERCHUTKINA. Yes, yes.... And if you like I can show you the doctor's +certificate. + +KHIRIN. Have you got a head on your shoulders, or what? + +MERCHUTKINA. My dear, I'm asking for what's mine by law. I don't want +what isn't mine. + +KHIRIN. I ask you, madam, have you got a head on your shoulders, or +what? Well, devil take me, I haven't any time to talk to you! I'm +busy.... [Points to the door] That way, please! + +MERCHUTKINA. [Surprised] And where's the money? + +KHIRIN. You haven't a head, but this [Taps the table and then points to +his forehead.] + +MERCHUTKINA. [Offended] What? Well, never mind, never mind.... You can +do that to your own wife, but I'm the wife of a civil servant.... You +can't do that to me! + +KHIRIN. [Losing his temper] Get out of this! + +MERCHUTKINA. No, no, no... none of that! + +KHIRIN. If you don't get out this second, I'll call for the hall-porter! +Get out! [Stamping.] + +MERCHUTKINA. Never mind, never mind! I'm not afraid! I've seen the like +of you before! Miser! + +KHIRIN. I don't think I've ever seen a more awful woman in my life.... +Ouf! It's given me a headache.... [Breathing heavily] I tell you once +more... do you hear me? If you don't get out of this, you old devil, +I'll grind you into powder! I've got such a character that I'm perfectly +capable of laming you for life! I can commit a crime! + +MERCHUTKINA. I've heard barking dogs before. I'm not afraid. I've seen +the like of you before. + +KHIRIN. [In despair] I can't stand it! I'm ill! I can't! [Sits down at +his desk] They've let the Bank get filled with women, and I can't finish +my report! I can't. + +MERCHUTKINA. I don't want anybody else's money, but my own, according to +law. You ought to be ashamed of yourself! Sitting in a government office +in felt boots.... + +[Enter SHIPUCHIN and TATIANA ALEXEYEVNA.] + +TATIANA ALEXEYEVNA. [Following her husband] We spent the evening at the +Berezhnitskys. Katya was wearing a sky-blue frock of foulard silk, cut +low at the neck.... She looks very well with her hair done over her +head, and I did her hair myself.... She was perfectly fascinating.... + +SHIPUCHIN. [Who has had enough of it already] Yes, yes... +fascinating.... They may be here any moment.... + +MERCHUTKINA. Your excellency! + +SHIPUCHIN. [Dully] What else? What do you want? + +MERCHUTKINA. Your excellency! [Points to KHIRIN] This man... this man +tapped the table with his finger, and then his head.... You told him to +look after my affair, but he insults me and says all sorts of things. +I'm a weak, defenceless woman.... + +SHIPUCHIN. All right, madam, I'll see to it... and take the necessary +steps.... Go away now... later on! [Aside] My gout's coming on! + +KHIRIN. [In a low tone to SHIPUCHIN] Andrey Andreyevitch, send for the +hall-porter and have her turned out neck and crop! What else can we do? + +SHIPUCHIN. [Frightened] No, no! She'll kick up a row and we aren't the +only people in the building. + +MERCHUTKINA. Your excellency. + +KHIRIN. [In a tearful voice] But I've got to finish my report! I won't +have time! I won't! + +MERCHUTKINA. Your excellency, when shall I have the money? I want it +now. + +SHIPUCHIN. [Aside, in dismay] A re-mark-ab-ly beastly woman! [Politely] +Madam, I've already told you, this is a bank, a private, commercial +concern. + +MERCHUTKINA. Be a father to me, your excellency.... If the doctor's +certificate isn't enough, I can get you another from the police. Tell +them to give me the money! + +SHIPUCHIN. [Panting] Ouf! + +TATIANA ALEXEYEVNA. [To MERCHUTKINA] Mother, haven't you already been +told that you're disturbing them? What right have you? + +MERCHUTKINA. Mother, beautiful one, nobody will help me. All I do is to +eat and drink, and just now I didn't enjoy my coffee at all. + +SHIPUCHIN. [Exhausted] How much do you want? + +MERCHUTKINA. 24 roubles 36 copecks. + +SHIPUCHIN. All right! [Takes a 25-rouble note out of his pocket-book and +gives it to her] Here are 25 roubles. Take it and... go! + +[KHIRIN coughs angrily.] + +MERCHUTKINA. I thank you very humbly, your excellency. [Hides the +money.] + +TATIANA ALEXEYEVNA. [Sits by her husband] It's time I went home.... +[Looks at watch] But I haven't done yet.... I'll finish in one minute +and go away.... What a time we had! Yes, what a time! We went to spend +the evening at the Berezhnitskys.... It was all right, quite fun, but +nothing in particular.... Katya's devoted Grendilevsky was there, of +course.... Well, I talked to Katya, cried, and induced her to talk to +Grendilevsky and refuse him. Well, I thought, everything's, settled +the best possible way; I've quieted mamma down, saved Katya, and can +be quiet myself.... What do you think? Katya and I were going along the +avenue, just before supper, and suddenly... [Excitedly] And suddenly +we heard a shot.... No, I can't talk about it calmly! [Waves her +handkerchief] No, I can't! + +SHIPUCHIN. [Sighs] Ouf! + +TATIANA ALEXEYEVNA. [Weeps] We ran to the summer-house, and there... +there poor Grendilevsky was lying... with a pistol in his hand.... + +SHIPUCHIN. No, I can't stand this! I can't stand it! [To MERCHUTKINA] +What else do you want? + +MERCHUTKINA. Your excellency, can't my husband go back to his job? + +TATIANA ALEXEYEVNA. [Weeping] He'd shot himself right in the heart... +here.... And the poor man had fallen down senseless.... And he was +awfully frightened, as he lay there... and asked for a doctor. A doctor +came soon... and saved the unhappy man.... + +MERCHUTKINA. Your excellency, can't my husband go back to his job? + +SHIPUCHIN. No, I can't stand this! [Weeps] I can't stand it! [Stretches +out both his hands in despair to KHIRIN] Drive her away! Drive her away, +I implore you! + +KHIRIN. [Goes up to TATIANA ALEXEYEVNA] Get out of this! + +SHIPUCHIN. Not her, but this one... this awful woman.... [Points] That +one! + +KHIRIN. [Not understanding, to TATIANA ALEXEYEVNA] Get out of this! +[Stamps] Get out! + +TATIANA ALEXEYEVNA. What? What are you doing? Have you taken leave of +your senses? + +SHIPUCHIN. It's awful? I'm a miserable man! Drive her out! Out with her! + +KHIRIN. [To TATIANA ALEXEYEVNA] Out of it! I'll cripple you! I'll knock +you out of shape! I'll break the law! + +TATIANA ALEXEYEVNA. [Running from him; he chases her] How dare you! You +impudent fellow! [Shouts] Andrey! Help! Andrey! [Screams.] + +SHIPUCHIN. [Chasing them] Stop! I implore you! Not such a noise? Have +pity on me! + +KHIRIN. [Chasing MERCHUTKINA] Out of this! Catch her! Hit her! Cut her +into pieces! + +SHIPUCHIN. [Shouts] Stop! I ask you! I implore you! + +MERCHUTKINA. Little fathers... little fathers! [Screams] Little +fathers!... + +TATIANA ALEXEYEVNA. [Shouts] Help! Help!... Oh, oh... I'm sick, I'm +sick! [Jumps on to a chair, then falls on to the sofa and groans as if +in a faint.] + +KHIRIN. [Chasing MERCHUTKINA] Hit her! Beat her! Cut her to pieces! + +MERCHUTKINA. Oh, oh... little fathers, it's all dark before me! Ah! +[Falls senseless into SHIPUCHIN'S arms. There is a knock at the door; +a VOICE announces THE DEPUTATION] The deputation... reputation... +occupation... + +KHIRIN. [Stamps] Get out of it, devil take me! [Turns up his sleeves] +Give her to me: I may break the law! + +[A deputation of five men enters; they all wear frockcoats. One carries +the velvet-covered address, another, the loving-cup. Employees look in +at the door, from the public department. TATIANA ALEXEYEVNA on the sofa, +and MERCHUTKINA in SHIPUCHIN'S arms are both groaning.] + +ONE OF THE DEPUTATION. [Reads aloud] "Deeply respected and dear Andrey +Andreyevitch! Throwing a retrospective glance at the past history of +our financial administration, and reviewing in our minds its gradual +development, we receive an extremely satisfactory impression. It is true +that in the first period of its existence, the inconsiderable amount of +its capital, and the absence of serious operations of any description, +and also the indefinite aims of this bank, made us attach an extreme +importance to the question raised by Hamlet, 'To be or not to be,' +and at one time there were even voices to be heard demanding our +liquidation. But at that moment you become the head of our concern. +Your knowledge, energies, and your native tact were the causes of +extraordinary success and widespread extension. The reputation of the +bank... [Coughs] reputation of the bank..." + +MERCHUTKINA. [Groans] Oh! Oh! + +TATIANA ALEXEYEVNA. [Groans] Water! Water! + +THE MEMBER OF THE DEPUTATION. [Continues] The reputation [Coughs]... the +reputation of the bank has been raised by you to such a height that we +are now the rivals of the best foreign concerns. + +SHIPUCHIN. Deputation... reputation... occupation.... Two friends that +had a walk at night, held converse by the pale moonlight.... Oh tell me +not, that youth is vain, that jealousy has turned my brain. + +THE MEMBER OF THE DEPUTATION. [Continues in confusion] "Then, throwing +an objective glance at the present condition of things, we, deeply +respected and dear Andrey Andreyevitch... [Lowering his voice] In that +case, we'll do it later on.... Yes, later on...." [DEPUTATION goes out +in confusion.] + +Curtain. + + + + + +THE THREE SISTERS + +A DRAMA IN FOUR ACTS + + +CHARACTERS + + ANDREY SERGEYEVITCH PROSOROV + NATALIA IVANOVA (NATASHA), his fiancee, later his wife (28) + His sisters: + OLGA + MASHA + IRINA + FEODOR ILITCH KULIGIN, high school teacher, married to MASHA (20) + ALEXANDER IGNATEYEVITCH VERSHININ, lieutenant-colonel in charge of + a battery (42) + NICOLAI LVOVITCH TUZENBACH, baron, lieutenant in the army (30) + VASSILI VASSILEVITCH SOLENI, captain + IVAN ROMANOVITCH CHEBUTIKIN, army doctor (60) + ALEXEY PETROVITCH FEDOTIK, sub-lieutenant + VLADIMIR CARLOVITCH RODE, sub-lieutenant + FERAPONT, door-keeper at local council offices, an old man + ANFISA, nurse (80) + + +The action takes place in a provincial town. + +[Ages are stated in brackets.] + + + + +ACT I + +[In PROSOROV'S house. A sitting-room with pillars; behind is seen a +large dining-room. It is midday, the sun is shining brightly outside. In +the dining-room the table is being laid for lunch.] + +[OLGA, in the regulation blue dress of a teacher at a girl's high +school, is walking about correcting exercise books; MASHA, in a black +dress, with a hat on her knees, sits and reads a book; IRINA, in white, +stands about, with a thoughtful expression.] + +OLGA. It's just a year since father died last May the fifth, on your +name-day, Irina. It was very cold then, and snowing. I thought I would +never survive it, and you were in a dead faint. And now a year has +gone by and we are already thinking about it without pain, and you are +wearing a white dress and your face is happy. [Clock strikes twelve] And +the clock struck just the same way then. [Pause] I remember that there +was music at the funeral, and they fired a volley in the cemetery. He +was a general in command of a brigade but there were few people present. +Of course, it was raining then, raining hard, and snowing. + +IRINA. Why think about it! + +[BARON TUZENBACH, CHEBUTIKIN and SOLENI appear by the table in the +dining-room, behind the pillars.] + +OLGA. It's so warm to-day that we can keep the windows open, though the +birches are not yet in flower. Father was put in command of a brigade, +and he rode out of Moscow with us eleven years ago. I remember perfectly +that it was early in May and that everything in Moscow was flowering +then. It was warm too, everything was bathed in sunshine. Eleven years +have gone, and I remember everything as if we rode out only yesterday. +Oh, God! When I awoke this morning and saw all the light and the spring, +joy entered my heart, and I longed passionately to go home. + +CHEBUTIKIN. Will you take a bet on it? + +TUZENBACH. Oh, nonsense. + +[MASHA, lost in a reverie over her book, whistles softly.] + +OLGA. Don't whistle, Masha. How can you! [Pause] I'm always having +headaches from having to go to the High School every day and then teach +till evening. Strange thoughts come to me, as if I were already an old +woman. And really, during these four years that I have been working +here, I have been feeling as if every day my strength and youth have +been squeezed out of me, drop by drop. And only one desire grows and +gains in strength... + +IRINA. To go away to Moscow. To sell the house, drop everything here, +and go to Moscow... + +OLGA. Yes! To Moscow, and as soon as possible. + +[CHEBUTIKIN and TUZENBACH laugh.] + +IRINA. I expect Andrey will become a professor, but still, he won't want +to live here. Only poor Masha must go on living here. + +OLGA. Masha can come to Moscow every year, for the whole summer. + +[MASHA is whistling gently.] + +IRINA. Everything will be arranged, please God. [Looks out of the +window] It's nice out to-day. I don't know why I'm so happy: I +remembered this morning that it was my name-day, and I suddenly felt +glad and remembered my childhood, when mother was still with us. What +beautiful thoughts I had, what thoughts! + +OLGA. You're all radiance to-day, I've never seen you look so lovely. +And Masha is pretty, too. Andrey wouldn't be bad-looking, if he wasn't +so stout; it does spoil his appearance. But I've grown old and very +thin, I suppose it's because I get angry with the girls at school. +To-day I'm free. I'm at home. I haven't got a headache, and I feel +younger than I was yesterday. I'm only twenty-eight.... All's well, God +is everywhere, but it seems to me that if only I were married and could +stay at home all day, it would be even better. [Pause] I should love my +husband. + +TUZENBACH. [To SOLENI] I'm tired of listening to the rot you talk. +[Entering the sitting-room] I forgot to say that Vershinin, our new +lieutenant-colonel of artillery, is coming to see us to-day. [Sits down +to the piano.] + +OLGA. That's good. I'm glad. + +IRINA. Is he old? + +TUZENBACH. Oh, no. Forty or forty-five, at the very outside. [Plays +softly] He seems rather a good sort. He's certainly no fool, only he +likes to hear himself speak. + +IRINA. Is he interesting? + +TUZENBACH. Oh, he's all right, but there's his wife, his mother-in-law, +and two daughters. This is his second wife. He pays calls and tells +everybody that he's got a wife and two daughters. He'll tell you so +here. The wife isn't all there, she does her hair like a flapper and +gushes extremely. She talks philosophy and tries to commit suicide every +now and again, apparently in order to annoy her husband. I should have +left her long ago, but he bears up patiently, and just grumbles. + +SOLENI. [Enters with CHEBUTIKIN from the dining-room] With one hand I +can only lift fifty-four pounds, but with both hands I can lift 180, +or even 200 pounds. From this I conclude that two men are not twice as +strong as one, but three times, perhaps even more.... + +CHEBUTIKIN. [Reads a newspaper as he walks] If your hair is coming +out... take an ounce of naphthaline and hail a bottle of spirit... +dissolve and use daily.... [Makes a note in his pocket diary] When +found make a note of! Not that I want it though.... [Crosses it out] It +doesn't matter. + +IRINA. Ivan Romanovitch, dear Ivan Romanovitch! + +CHEBUTIKIN. What does my own little girl want? + +IRINA. Ivan Romanovitch, dear Ivan Romanovitch! I feel as if I were +sailing under the broad blue sky with great white birds around me. Why +is that? Why? + +CHEBUTIKIN. [Kisses her hands, tenderly] My white bird.... + +IRINA. When I woke up to-day and got up and dressed myself, I suddenly +began to feel as if everything in this life was open to me, and that I +knew how I must live. Dear Ivan Romanovitch, I know everything. A man +must work, toil in the sweat of his brow, whoever he may be, for that is +the meaning and object of his life, his happiness, his enthusiasm. How +fine it is to be a workman who gets up at daybreak and breaks stones in +the street, or a shepherd, or a schoolmaster, who teaches children, or +an engine-driver on the railway.... My God, let alone a man, it's better +to be an ox, or just a horse, so long as it can work, than a young woman +who wakes up at twelve o'clock, has her coffee in bed, and then spends +two hours dressing.... Oh it's awful! Sometimes when it's hot, your +thirst can be just as tiresome as my need for work. And if I don't get +up early in future and work, Ivan Romanovitch, then you may refuse me +your friendship. + +CHEBUTIKIN. [Tenderly] I'll refuse, I'll refuse.... + +OLGA. Father used to make us get up at seven. Now Irina wakes at seven +and lies and meditates about something till nine at least. And she looks +so serious! [Laughs.] + +IRINA. You're so used to seeing me as a little girl that it seems queer +to you when my face is serious. I'm twenty! + +TUZENBACH. How well I can understand that craving for work, oh God! I've +never worked once in my life. I was born in Petersburg, a chilly, lazy +place, in a family which never knew what work or worry meant. I remember +that when I used to come home from my regiment, a footman used to +have to pull off my boots while I fidgeted and my mother looked on in +adoration and wondered why other people didn't see me in the same light. +They shielded me from work; but only just in time! A new age is dawning, +the people are marching on us all, a powerful, health-giving storm is +gathering, it is drawing near, soon it will be upon us and it will drive +away laziness, indifference, the prejudice against labour, and rotten +dullness from our society. I shall work, and in twenty-five or thirty +years, every man will have to work. Every one! + +CHEBUTIKIN. I shan't work. + +TUZENBACH. You don't matter. + +SOLENI. In twenty-five years' time, we shall all be dead, thank the +Lord. In two or three years' time apoplexy will carry you off, or else +I'll blow your brains out, my pet. [Takes a scent-bottle out of his +pocket and sprinkles his chest and hands.] + +CHEBUTIKIN. [Laughs] It's quite true, I never have worked. After I came +down from the university I never stirred a finger or opened a book, I +just read the papers.... [Takes another newspaper out of his pocket] +Here we are.... I've learnt from the papers that there used to be one, +Dobrolubov [Note: Dobroluboy (1836-81), in spite of the shortness of his +career, established himself as one of the classic literary critics +of Russia], for instance, but what he wrote--I don't know... God only +knows.... [Somebody is heard tapping on the floor from below] There.... +They're calling me downstairs, somebody's come to see me. I'll be back +in a minute... won't be long.... [Exit hurriedly, scratching his beard.] + +IRINA. He's up to something. + +TUZENBACH. Yes, he looked so pleased as he went out that I'm pretty +certain he'll bring you a present in a moment. + +IRINA. How unpleasant! + +OLGA. Yes, it's awful. He's always doing silly things. + +MASHA. + + "There stands a green oak by the sea. + And a chain of bright gold is around it... + And a chain of bright gold is around it...." + +[Gets up and sings softly.] + +OLGA. You're not very bright to-day, Masha. [MASHA sings, putting on her +hat] Where are you off to? + +MASHA. Home. + +IRINA. That's odd.... + +TUZENBACH. On a name-day, too! + +MASHA. It doesn't matter. I'll come in the evening. Good-bye, dear. +[Kisses MASHA] Many happy returns, though I've said it before. In the +old days when father was alive, every time we had a name-day, thirty or +forty officers used to come, and there was lots of noise and fun, and +to-day there's only a man and a half, and it's as quiet as a desert... +I'm off... I've got the hump to-day, and am not at all cheerful, so +don't you mind me. [Laughs through her tears] We'll have a talk later +on, but good-bye for the present, my dear; I'll go somewhere. + +IRINA. [Displeased] You are queer.... + +OLGA. [Crying] I understand you, Masha. + +SOLENI. When a man talks philosophy, well, it is philosophy or at any +rate sophistry; but when a woman, or two women, talk philosophy--it's +all my eye. + +MASHA. What do you mean by that, you very awful man? + +SOLENI. Oh, nothing. You came down on me before I could say... help! +[Pause.] + +MASHA. [Angrily, to OLGA] Don't cry! + +[Enter ANFISA and FERAPONT with a cake.] + +ANFISA. This way, my dear. Come in, your feet are clean. [To IRINA] From +the District Council, from Mihail Ivanitch Protopopov... a cake. + +IRINA. Thank you. Please thank him. [Takes the cake.] + +FERAPONT. What? + +IRINA. [Louder] Please thank him. + +OLGA. Give him a pie, nurse. Ferapont, go, she'll give you a pie. + +FERAPONT. What? + +ANFISA. Come on, gran'fer, Ferapont Spiridonitch. Come on. [Exeunt.] + +MASHA. I don't like this Mihail Potapitch or Ivanitch, Protopopov. We +oughtn't to invite him here. + +IRINA. I never asked him. + +MASHA. That's all right. + +[Enter CHEBUTIKIN followed by a soldier with a silver samovar; there is +a rumble of dissatisfied surprise.] + +OLGA. [Covers her face with her hands] A samovar! That's awful! [Exit +into the dining-room, to the table.] + +IRINA. My dear Ivan Romanovitch, what are you doing! + +TUZENBACH. [Laughs] I told you so! + +MASHA. Ivan Romanovitch, you are simply shameless! + +CHEBUTIKIN. My dear good girl, you are the only thing, and the dearest +thing I have in the world. I'll soon be sixty. I'm an old man, a lonely +worthless old man. The only good thing in me is my love for you, and if +it hadn't been for that, I would have been dead long ago.... [To IRINA] +My dear little girl, I've known you since the day of your birth, I've +carried you in my arms... I loved your dead mother.... + +MASHA. But your presents are so expensive! + +CHEBUTIKIN. [Angrily, through his tears] Expensive presents.... You +really, are!... [To the orderly] Take the samovar in there.... [Teasing] +Expensive presents! + +[The orderly goes into the dining-room with the samovar.] + +ANFISA. [Enters and crosses stage] My dear, there's a strange Colonel +come! He's taken off his coat already. Children, he's coming here. Irina +darling, you'll be a nice and polite little girl, won't you.... Should +have lunched a long time ago.... Oh, Lord.... [Exit.] + +TUZENBACH. It must be Vershinin. [Enter VERSHININ] Lieutenant-Colonel +Vershinin! + +VERSHININ. [To MASHA and IRINA] I have the honour to introduce myself, +my name is Vershinin. I am very glad indeed to be able to come at last. +How you've grown! Oh! oh! + +IRINA. Please sit down. We're very glad you've come. + +VERSHININ. [Gaily] I am glad, very glad! But there are three sisters, +surely. I remember--three little girls. I forget your faces, but your +father, Colonel Prosorov, used to have three little girls, I remember +that perfectly, I saw them with my own eyes. How time does fly! Oh, +dear, how it flies! + +TUZENBACH. Alexander Ignateyevitch comes from Moscow. + +IRINA. From Moscow? Are you from Moscow? + +VERSHININ. Yes, that's so. Your father used to be in charge of a battery +there, and I was an officer in the same brigade. [To MASHA] I seem to +remember your face a little. + +MASHA. I don't remember you. + +IRINA. Olga! Olga! [Shouts into the dining-room] Olga! Come along! [OLGA +enters from the dining-room] Lieutenant Colonel Vershinin comes from +Moscow, as it happens. + +VERSHININ. I take it that you are Olga Sergeyevna, the eldest, and that +you are Maria... and you are Irina, the youngest.... + +OLGA. So you come from Moscow? + +VERSHININ. Yes. I went to school in Moscow and began my service there; I +was there for a long time until at last I got my battery and moved over +here, as you see. I don't really remember you, I only remember that +there used to be three sisters. I remember your father well; I have only +to shut my eyes to see him as he was. I used to come to your house in +Moscow.... + +OLGA. I used to think I remembered everybody, but... + +VERSHININ. My name is Alexander Ignateyevitch. + +IRINA. Alexander Ignateyevitch, you've come from Moscow. That is really +quite a surprise! + +OLGA. We are going to live there, you see. + +IRINA. We think we may be there this autumn. It's our native town, we +were born there. In Old Basmanni Road.... [They both laugh for joy.] + +MASHA. We've unexpectedly met a fellow countryman. [Briskly] I remember: +Do you remember, Olga, they used to speak at home of a "lovelorn Major." +You were only a Lieutenant then, and in love with somebody, but for some +reason they always called you a Major for fun. + +VERSHININ. [Laughs] That's it... the lovelorn Major, that's got it! + +MASHA. You only wore moustaches then. You have grown older! [Through her +tears] You have grown older! + +VERSHININ. Yes, when they used to call me the lovelorn Major, I was +young and in love. I've grown out of both now. + +OLGA. But you haven't a single white hair yet. You're older, but you're +not yet old. + +VERSHININ. I'm forty-two, anyway. Have you been away from Moscow long? + +IRINA. Eleven years. What are you crying for, Masha, you little fool.... +[Crying] And I'm crying too. + +MASHA. It's all right. And where did you live? + +VERSHININ. Old Basmanni Road. + +OLGA. Same as we. + +VERSHININ. Once I used to live in German Street. That was when the Red +Barracks were my headquarters. There's an ugly bridge in between, where +the water rushes underneath. One gets melancholy when one is alone +there. [Pause] Here the river is so wide and fine! It's a splendid +river! + +OLGA. Yes, but it's so cold. It's very cold here, and the midges.... + +VERSHININ. What are you saying! Here you've got such a fine healthy +Russian climate. You've a forest, a river... and birches. Dear, modest +birches, I like them more than any other tree. It's good to live here. +Only it's odd that the railway station should be thirteen miles away.... +Nobody knows why. + +SOLENI. I know why. [All look at him] Because if it was near it wouldn't +be far off, and if it's far off, it can't be near. [An awkward pause.] + +TUZENBACH. Funny man. + +OLGA. Now I know who you are. I remember. + +VERSHININ. I used to know your mother. + +CHEBUTIKIN. She was a good woman, rest her soul. + +IRINA. Mother is buried in Moscow. + +OLGA. At the Novo-Devichi Cemetery. + +MASHA. Do you know, I'm beginning to forget her face. We'll be forgotten +in just the same way. + +VERSHININ. Yes, they'll forget us. It's our fate, it can't be helped. A +time will come when everything that seems serious, significant, or very +important to us will be forgotten, or considered trivial. [Pause] And +the curious thing is that we can't possibly find out what will come to +be regarded as great and important, and what will be feeble, or silly. +Didn't the discoveries of Copernicus, or Columbus, say, seem unnecessary +and ludicrous at first, while wasn't it thought that some rubbish +written by a fool, held all the truth? And it may so happen that our +present existence, with which we are so satisfied, will in time appear +strange, inconvenient, stupid, unclean, perhaps even sinful.... + +TUZENBACH. Who knows? But on the other hand, they may call our life +noble and honour its memory. We've abolished torture and capital +punishment, we live in security, but how much suffering there is still! + +SOLENI. [In a feeble voice] There, there.... The Baron will go without +his dinner if you only let him talk philosophy. + +TUZENBACH. Vassili Vassilevitch, kindly leave me alone. [Changes his +chair] You're very dull, you know. + +SOLENI. [Feebly] There, there, there. + +TUZENBACH. [To VERSHININ] The sufferings we see to-day--there are so +many of them!--still indicate a certain moral improvement in society. + +VERSHININ. Yes, yes, of course. + +CHEBUTIKIN. You said just now, Baron, that they may call our life noble; +but we are very petty.... [Stands up] See how little I am. [Violin +played behind.] + +MASHA. That's Andrey playing--our brother. + +IRINA. He's the learned member of the family. I expect he will be a +professor some day. Father was a soldier, but his son chose an academic +career for himself. + +MASHA. That was father's wish. + +OLGA. We ragged him to-day. We think he's a little in love. + +IRINA. To a local lady. She will probably come here to-day. + +MASHA. You should see the way she dresses! Quite prettily, quite +fashionably too, but so badly! Some queer bright yellow skirt with a +wretched little fringe and a red bodice. And such a complexion! Andrey +isn't in love. After all he has taste, he's simply making fun of us. I +heard yesterday that she was going to marry Protopopov, the chairman +of the Local Council. That would do her nicely.... [At the side door] +Andrey, come here! Just for a minute, dear! [Enter ANDREY.] + +OLGA. My brother, Andrey Sergeyevitch. + +VERSHININ. My name is Vershinin. + +ANDREY. Mine is Prosorov. [Wipes his perspiring hands] You've come to +take charge of the battery? + +OLGA. Just think, Alexander Ignateyevitch comes from Moscow. + +ANDREY. That's all right. Now my little sisters won't give you any rest. + +VERSHININ. I've already managed to bore your sisters. + +IRINA. Just look what a nice little photograph frame Andrey gave me +to-day. [Shows it] He made it himself. + +VERSHININ. [Looks at the frame and does not know what to say] Yes.... +It's a thing that... + +IRINA. And he made that frame there, on the piano as well. [Andrey waves +his hand and walks away.] + +OLGA. He's got a degree, and plays the violin, and cuts all sorts of +things out of wood, and is really a domestic Admirable Crichton. Don't +go away, Andrey! He's got into a habit of always going away. Come here! + +[MASHA and IRINA take his arms and laughingly lead him back.] + +MASHA. Come on, come on! + +ANDREY. Please leave me alone. + +MASHA. You are funny. Alexander Ignateyevitch used to be called the +lovelorn Major, but he never minded. + +VERSHININ. Not the least. + +MASHA. I'd like to call you the lovelorn fiddler! + +IRINA. Or the lovelorn professor! + +OLGA. He's in love! little Andrey is in love! + +IRINA. [Applauds] Bravo, Bravo! Encore! Little Andrey is in love. + +CHEBUTIKIN. [Goes up behind ANDREY and takes him round the waist with +both arms] Nature only brought us into the world that we should love! +[Roars with laughter, then sits down and reads a newspaper which he +takes out of his pocket.] + +ANDREY. That's enough, quite enough.... [Wipes his face] I couldn't +sleep all night and now I can't quite find my feet, so to speak. I read +until four o'clock, then tried to sleep, but nothing happened. I thought +about one thing and another, and then it dawned and the sun crawled into +my bedroom. This summer, while I'm here, I want to translate a book from +the English.... + +VERSHININ. Do you read English? + +ANDREY. Yes father, rest his soul, educated us almost violently. It may +seem funny and silly, but it's nevertheless true, that after his death +I began to fill out and get rounder, as if my body had had some great +pressure taken off it. Thanks to father, my sisters and I know French, +German, and English, and Irina knows Italian as well. But we paid dearly +for it all! + +MASHA. A knowledge of three languages is an unnecessary luxury in this +town. It isn't even a luxury but a sort of useless extra, like a sixth +finger. We know a lot too much. + +VERSHININ. Well, I say! [Laughs] You know a lot too much! I don't think +there can really be a town so dull and stupid as to have no place for +a clever, cultured person. Let us suppose even that among the hundred +thousand inhabitants of this backward and uneducated town, there are +only three persons like yourself. It stands to reason that you won't be +able to conquer that dark mob around you; little by little as you grow +older you will be bound to give way and lose yourselves in this crowd of +a hundred thousand human beings; their life will suck you up in itself, +but still, you won't disappear having influenced nobody; later on, +others like you will come, perhaps six of them, then twelve, and so on, +until at last your sort will be in the majority. In two or three hundred +years' time life on this earth will be unimaginably beautiful and +wonderful. Mankind needs such a life, and if it is not ours to-day then +we must look ahead for it, wait, think, prepare for it. We must see and +know more than our fathers and grandfathers saw and knew. [Laughs] And +you complain that you know too much. + +MASHA. [Takes off her hat] I'll stay to lunch. + +IRINA. [Sighs] Yes, all that ought to be written down. + +[ANDREY has gone out quietly.] + +TUZENBACH. You say that many years later on, life on this earth will +be beautiful and wonderful. That's true. But to share in it now, even +though at a distance, we must prepare by work.... + +VERSHININ. [Gets up] Yes. What a lot of flowers you have. [Looks round] +It's a beautiful flat. I envy you! I've spent my whole life in rooms +with two chairs, one sofa, and fires which always smoke. I've never had +flowers like these in my life.... [Rubs his hands] Well, well! + +TUZENBACH. Yes, we must work. You are probably thinking to yourself: +the German lets himself go. But I assure you I'm a Russian, I can't even +speak German. My father belonged to the Orthodox Church.... [Pause.] + +VERSHININ. [Walks about the stage] I often wonder: suppose we could +begin life over again, knowing what we were doing? Suppose we could use +one life, already ended, as a sort of rough draft for another? I think +that every one of us would try, more than anything else, not to repeat +himself, at the very least he would rearrange his manner of life, he +would make sure of rooms like these, with flowers and light... I have +a wife and two daughters, my wife's health is delicate and so on and so +on, and if I had to begin life all over again I would not marry.... No, +no! + +[Enter KULIGIN in a regulation jacket.] + +KULIGIN. [Going up to IRINA] Dear sister, allow me to congratulate you +on the day sacred to your good angel and to wish you, sincerely and from +the bottom of my heart, good health and all that one can wish for a girl +of your years. And then let me offer you this book as a present. [Gives +it to her] It is the history of our High School during the last fifty +years, written by myself. The book is worthless, and written because I +had nothing to do, but read it all the same. Good day, gentlemen! [To +VERSHININ] My name is Kuligin, I am a master of the local High School. +[Note: He adds that he is a _Nadvorny Sovetnik_ (almost the same as +a German _Hofrat_), an undistinguished civilian title with no English +equivalent.] [To IRINA] In this book you will find a list of all those +who have taken the full course at our High School during these fifty +years. _Feci quod potui, faciant meliora potentes_. [Kisses MASHA.] + +IRINA. But you gave me one of these at Easter. + +KULIGIN. [Laughs] I couldn't have, surely! You'd better give it back +to me in that case, or else give it to the Colonel. Take it, Colonel. +You'll read it some day when you're bored. + +VERSHININ. Thank you. [Prepares to go] I am extremely happy to have made +the acquaintance of... + +OLGA. Must you go? No, not yet? + +IRINA. You'll stop and have lunch with us. Please do. + +OLGA. Yes, please! + +VERSHININ. [Bows] I seem to have dropped in on your name-day. Forgive +me, I didn't know, and I didn't offer you my congratulations. [Goes with +OLGA into the dining-room.] + +KULIGIN. To-day is Sunday, the day of rest, so let us rest and rejoice, +each in a manner compatible with his age and disposition. The carpets +will have to be taken up for the summer and put away till the winter... +Persian powder or naphthaline.... The Romans were healthy because they +knew both how to work and how to rest, they had _mens sana in corpore +sano_. Their life ran along certain recognized patterns. Our director +says: "The chief thing about each life is its pattern. Whoever loses +his pattern is lost himself"--and it's just the same in our daily life. +[Takes MASHA by the waist, laughing] Masha loves me. My wife loves me. +And you ought to put the window curtains away with the carpets.... I'm +feeling awfully pleased with life to-day. Masha, we've got to be at the +director's at four. They're getting up a walk for the pedagogues and +their families. + +MASHA. I shan't go. + +KULIGIN. [Hurt] My dear Masha, why not? + +MASHA. I'll tell you later.... [Angrily] All right, I'll go, only please +stand back.... [Steps away.] + +KULIGIN. And then we're to spend the evening at the director's. In spite +of his ill-health that man tries, above everything else, to be sociable. +A splendid, illuminating personality. A wonderful man. After yesterday's +committee he said to me: "I'm tired, Feodor Ilitch, I'm tired!" [Looks +at the clock, then at his watch] Your clock is seven minutes fast. +"Yes," he said, "I'm tired." [Violin played off.] + +OLGA. Let's go and have lunch! There's to be a masterpiece of baking! + +KULIGIN. Oh my dear Olga, my dear. Yesterday I was working till eleven +o'clock at night, and got awfully tired. To-day I'm quite happy. [Goes +into dining-room] My dear... + +CHEBUTIKIN. [Puts his paper into his pocket, and combs his beard] A pie? +Splendid! + +MASHA. [Severely to CHEBUTIKIN] Only mind; you're not to drink anything +to-day. Do you hear? It's bad for you. + +CHEBUTIKIN. Oh, that's all right. I haven't been drunk for two years. +And it's all the same, anyway! + +MASHA. You're not to dare to drink, all the same. [Angrily, but so that +her husband should not hear] Another dull evening at the Director's, +confound it! + +TUZENBACH. I shouldn't go if I were you.... It's quite simple. + +CHEBUTIKIN. Don't go. + +MASHA. Yes, "don't go...." It's a cursed, unbearable life.... [Goes into +dining-room.] + +CHEBUTIKIN. [Follows her] It's not so bad. + +SOLENI. [Going into the dining-room] There, there, there.... + +TUZENBACH. Vassili Vassilevitch, that's enough. Be quiet! + +SOLENI. There, there, there.... + +KULIGIN. [Gaily] Your health, Colonel! I'm a pedagogue and not quite at +home here. I'm Masha's husband.... She's a good sort, a very good sort. + +VERSHININ. I'll have some of this black vodka.... [Drinks] Your health! +[To OLGA] I'm very comfortable here! + +[Only IRINA and TUZENBACH are now left in the sitting-room.] + +IRINA. Masha's out of sorts to-day. She married when she was eighteen, +when he seemed to her the wisest of men. And now it's different. He's +the kindest man, but not the wisest. + +OLGA. [Impatiently] Andrey, when are you coming? + +ANDREY. [Off] One minute. [Enters and goes to the table.] + +TUZENBACH. What are you thinking about? + +IRINA. I don't like this Soleni of yours and I'm afraid of him. He only +says silly things. + +TUZENBACH. He's a queer man. I'm sorry for him, though he vexes me. I +think he's shy. When there are just the two of us he's quite all right +and very good company; when other people are about he's rough and +hectoring. Don't let's go in, let them have their meal without us. Let +me stay with you. What are you thinking of? [Pause] You're twenty. I'm +not yet thirty. How many years are there left to us, with their long, +long lines of days, filled with my love for you.... + +IRINA. Nicolai Lvovitch, don't speak to me of love. + +TUZENBACH. [Does not hear] I've a great thirst for life, struggle, and +work, and this thirst has united with my love for you, Irina, and you're +so beautiful, and life seems so beautiful to me! What are you thinking +about? + +IRINA. You say that life is beautiful. Yes, if only it seems so! The +life of us three hasn't been beautiful yet; it has been stifling us as +if it was weeds... I'm crying. I oughtn't.... [Dries her tears, smiles] +We must work, work. That is why we are unhappy and look at the world so +sadly; we don't know what work is. Our parents despised work.... + +[Enter NATALIA IVANOVA; she wears a pink dress and a green sash.] + +NATASHA. They're already at lunch... I'm late... [Carefully examines +herself in a mirror, and puts herself straight] I think my hair's done +all right.... [Sees IRINA] Dear Irina Sergeyevna, I congratulate you! +[Kisses her firmly and at length] You've so many visitors, I'm really +ashamed.... How do you do, Baron! + +OLGA. [Enters from dining-room] Here's Natalia Ivanovna. How are you, +dear! [They kiss.] + +NATASHA. Happy returns. I'm awfully shy, you've so many people here. + +OLGA. All our friends. [Frightened, in an undertone] You're wearing a +green sash! My dear, you shouldn't! + +NATASHA. Is it a sign of anything? + +OLGA. No, it simply doesn't go well... and it looks so queer. + +NATASHA. [In a tearful voice] Yes? But it isn't really green, it's too +dull for that. [Goes into dining-room with OLGA.] + +[They have all sat down to lunch in the dining-room, the sitting-room is +empty.] + +KULIGIN. I wish you a nice fiancee, Irina. It's quite time you married. + +CHEBUTIKIN. Natalia Ivanovna, I wish you the same. + +KULIGIN. Natalia Ivanovna has a fiance already. + +MASHA. [Raps with her fork on a plate] Let's all get drunk and make life +purple for once! + +KULIGIN. You've lost three good conduct marks. + +VERSHININ. This is a nice drink. What's it made of? + +SOLENI. Blackbeetles. + +IRINA. [Tearfully] Phoo! How disgusting! + +OLGA. There is to be a roast turkey and a sweet apple pie for dinner. +Thank goodness I can spend all day and the evening at home. You'll come +in the evening, ladies and gentlemen.... + +VERSHININ. And please may I come in the evening! + +IRINA. Please do. + +NATASHA. They don't stand on ceremony here. + +CHEBUTIKIN. Nature only brought us into the world that we should love! +[Laughs.] + +ANDREY. [Angrily] Please don't! Aren't you tired of it? + +[Enter FEDOTIK and RODE with a large basket of flowers.] + +FEDOTIK. They're lunching already. + +RODE. [Loudly and thickly] Lunching? Yes, so they are.... + +FEDOTIK. Wait a minute! [Takes a photograph] That's one. No, just a +moment.... [Takes another] That's two. Now we're ready! + +[They take the basket and go into the dining-room, where they have a +noisy reception.] + +RODE. [Loudly] Congratulations and best wishes! Lovely weather to-day, +simply perfect. Was out walking with the High School students all the +morning. I take their drills. + +FEDOTIK. You may move, Irina Sergeyevna! [Takes a photograph] You +look well to-day. [Takes a humming-top out of his pocket] Here's a +humming-top, by the way. It's got a lovely note! + +IRINA. How awfully nice! + +MASHA. + + "There stands a green oak by the sea, + And a chain of bright gold is around it... + And a chain of bright gold is around it..." + +[Tearfully] What am I saying that for? I've had those words running in +my head all day.... + +KULIGIN. There are thirteen at table! + +RODE. [Aloud] Surely you don't believe in that superstition? [Laughter.] + +KULIGIN. If there are thirteen at table then it means there are lovers +present. It isn't you, Ivan Romanovitch, hang it all.... [Laughter.] + +CHEBUTIKIN. I'm a hardened sinner, but I really don't see why Natalia +Ivanovna should blush.... + +[Loud laughter; NATASHA runs out into the sitting-room, followed by +ANDREY.] + +ANDREY. Don't pay any attention to them! Wait... do stop, please.... + +NATASHA. I'm shy... I don't know what's the matter with me and they're +all laughing at me. It wasn't nice of me to leave the table like that, +but I can't... I can't. [Covers her face with her hands.] + +ANDREY. My dear, I beg you. I implore you not to excite yourself. I +assure you they're only joking, they're kind people. My dear, good girl, +they're all kind and sincere people, and they like both you and me. Come +here to the window, they can't see us here.... [Looks round.] + +NATASHA. I'm so unaccustomed to meeting people! + +ANDREY. Oh your youth, your splendid, beautiful youth! My darling, don't +be so excited! Believe me, believe me... I'm so happy, my soul is full +of love, of ecstasy.... They don't see us! They can't! Why, why or when +did I fall in love with you--Oh, I can't understand anything. My dear, +my pure darling, be my wife! I love you, love you... as never before.... +[They kiss.] + +[Two officers come in and, seeing the lovers kiss, stop in +astonishment.] + +Curtain. + + + + +ACT II + +[Scene as before. It is 8 p.m. Somebody is heard playing a concertina +outside in' the street. There is no fire. NATALIA IVANOVNA enters in +indoor dress carrying a candle; she stops by the door which leads into +ANDREY'S room.] + +NATASHA. What are you doing, Andrey? Are you reading? It's nothing, only +I.... [She opens another door, and looks in, then closes it] Isn't there +any fire.... + +ANDREY. [Enters with book in hand] What are you doing, Natasha? + +NATASHA. I was looking to see if there wasn't a fire. It's Shrovetide, +and the servant is simply beside herself; I must look out that something +doesn't happen. When I came through the dining-room yesterday midnight, +there was a candle burning. I couldn't get her to tell me who had +lighted it. [Puts down her candle] What's the time? + +ANDREY. [Looks at his watch] A quarter past eight. + +NATASHA. And Olga and Irina aren't in yet. The poor things are still at +work. Olga at the teacher's council, Irina at the telegraph office.... +[Sighs] I said to your sister this morning, "Irina, darling, you must +take care of yourself." But she pays no attention. Did you say it was a +quarter past eight? I am afraid little Bobby is quite ill. Why is he so +cold? He was feverish yesterday, but to-day he is quite cold... I am so +frightened! + +ANDREY. It's all right, Natasha. The boy is well. + +NATASHA. Still, I think we ought to put him on a diet. I am so afraid. +And the entertainers were to be here after nine; they had better not +come, Audrey. + +ANDREY. I don't know. After all, they were asked. + +NATASHA. This morning, when the little boy woke up and saw me he +suddenly smiled; that means he knew me. "Good morning, Bobby!" I said, +"good morning, darling." And he laughed. Children understand, they +understand very well. So I'll tell them, Andrey dear, not to receive the +entertainers. + +ANDREY. [Hesitatingly] But what about my sisters. This is their flat. + +NATASHA. They'll do as I want them. They are so kind.... [Going] I +ordered sour milk for supper. The doctor says you must eat sour milk +and nothing else, or you won't get thin. [Stops] Bobby is so cold. I'm +afraid his room is too cold for him. It would be nice to put him into +another room till the warm weather comes. Irina's room, for instance, +is just right for a child: it's dry and has the sun all day. I must tell +her, she can share Olga's room. It isn't as if she was at home in the +daytime, she only sleeps here.... [A pause] Andrey, darling, why are you +so silent? + +ANDREY. I was just thinking.... There is really nothing to say.... + +NATASHA. Yes... there was something I wanted to tell you.... Oh, yes. +Ferapont has come from the Council offices, he wants to see you. + +ANDREY. [Yawns] Call him here. + +[NATASHA goes out; ANDREY reads his book, stooping over the candle she +has left behind. FERAPONT enters; he wears a tattered old coat with the +collar up. His ears are muffled.] + +ANDREY. Good morning, grandfather. What have you to say? + +FERAPONT. The Chairman sends a book and some documents or other. +Here.... [Hands him a book and a packet.] + +ANDREY. Thank you. It's all right. Why couldn't you come earlier? It's +past eight now. + +FERAPONT. What? + +ANDREY. [Louder]. I say you've come late, it's past eight. + +FERAPONT. Yes, yes. I came when it was still light, but they wouldn't +let me in. They said you were busy. Well, what was I to do. If you're +busy, you're busy, and I'm in no hurry. [He thinks that ANDREY is asking +him something] What? + +ANDREY. Nothing. [Looks through the book] To-morrow's Friday. I'm not +supposed to go to work, but I'll come--all the same... and do some +work. It's dull at home. [Pause] Oh, my dear old man, how strangely life +changes, and how it deceives! To-day, out of sheer boredom, I took up +this book--old university lectures, and I couldn't help laughing. My +God, I'm secretary of the local district council, the council which has +Protopopov for its chairman, yes, I'm the secretary, and the summit of +my ambitions is--to become a member of the council! I to be a member +of the local district council, I, who dream every night that I'm a +professor of Moscow University, a famous scholar of whom all Russia is +proud! + +FERAPONT. I can't tell... I'm hard of hearing.... + +ANDREY. If you weren't, I don't suppose I should talk to you. I've got +to talk to somebody, and my wife doesn't understand me, and I'm a bit +afraid of my sisters--I don't know why unless it is that they may +make fun of me and make me feel ashamed... I don't drink, I don't like +public-houses, but how I should like to be sitting just now in Tyestov's +place in Moscow, or at the Great Moscow, old fellow! + +FERAPONT. Moscow? That's where a contractor was once telling that some +merchants or other were eating pancakes; one ate forty pancakes and he +went and died, he was saying. Either forty or fifty, I forget which. + +ANDREY. In Moscow you can sit in an enormous restaurant where you don't +know anybody and where nobody knows you, and you don't feel all the same +that you're a stranger. And here you know everybody and everybody knows +you, and you're a stranger... and a lonely stranger. + +FERAPONT. What? And the same contractor was telling--perhaps he was +lying--that there was a cable stretching right across Moscow. + +ANDREY. What for? + +FERAPONT. I can't tell. The contractor said so. + +ANDREY. Rubbish. [He reads] Were you ever in Moscow? + +FERAPONT. [After a pause] No. God did not lead me there. [Pause] Shall I +go? + +ANDREY. You may go. Good-bye. [FERAPONT goes] Good-bye. [Reads] You can +come to-morrow and fetch these documents.... Go along.... [Pause] He's +gone. [A ring] Yes, yes.... [Stretches himself and slowly goes into his +own room.] + +[Behind the scene the nurse is singing a lullaby to the child. MASHA and +VERSHININ come in. While they talk, a maidservant lights candles and a +lamp.] + +MASHA. I don't know. [Pause] I don't know. Of course, habit counts for +a great deal. After father's death, for instance, it took us a long time +to get used to the absence of orderlies. But, apart from habit, it seems +to me in all fairness that, however it may be in other towns, the best +and most-educated people are army men. + +VERSHININ. I'm thirsty. I should like some tea. + +MASHA. [Glancing at her watch] They'll bring some soon. I was given in +marriage when I was eighteen, and I was afraid of my husband because +he was a teacher and I'd only just left school. He then seemed to me +frightfully wise and learned and important. And now, unfortunately, that +has changed. + +VERSHININ. Yes... yes. + +MASHA. I don't speak of my husband, I've grown used to him, but +civilians in general are so often coarse, impolite, uneducated. Their +rudeness offends me, it angers me. I suffer when I see that a man isn't +quite sufficiently refined, or delicate, or polite. I simply suffer +agonies when I happen to be among schoolmasters, my husband's +colleagues. + +VERSHININ. Yes.... It seems to me that civilians and army men are +equally interesting, in this town, at any rate. It's all the same! If +you listen to a member of the local intelligentsia, whether to civilian +or military, he will tell you that he's sick of his wife, sick of +his house, sick of his estate, sick of his horses.... We Russians are +extremely gifted in the direction of thinking on an exalted plane, but, +tell me, why do we aim so low in real life? Why? + +MASHA. Why? + +VERSHININ. Why is a Russian sick of his children, sick of his wife? And +why are his wife and children sick of him? + +MASHA. You're a little downhearted to-day. + +VERSHININ. Perhaps I am. I haven't had any dinner, I've had nothing +since the morning. My daughter is a little unwell, and when my girls are +ill, I get very anxious and my conscience tortures me because they +have such a mother. Oh, if you had seen her to-day! What a trivial +personality! We began quarrelling at seven in the morning and at nine +I slammed the door and went out. [Pause] I never speak of her, it's +strange that I bear my complaints to you alone. [Kisses her hand] Don't +be angry with me. I haven't anybody but you, nobody at all.... [Pause.] + +MASHA. What a noise in the oven. Just before father's death there was a +noise in the pipe, just like that. + +VERSHININ. Are you superstitious? + +MASHA. Yes. + +VERSHININ. That's strange. [Kisses her hand] You are a splendid, +wonderful woman. Splendid, wonderful! It is dark here, but I see your +sparkling eyes. + +MASHA. [Sits on another chair] There is more light here. + +VERSHININ. I love you, love you, love you... I love your eyes, your +movements, I dream of them.... Splendid, wonderful woman! + +MASHA. [Laughing] When you talk to me like that, I laugh; I don't know +why, for I'm afraid. Don't repeat it, please.... [In an undertone] No, +go on, it's all the same to me.... [Covers her face with her hands] +Somebody's coming, let's talk about something else. + +[IRINA and TUZENBACH come in through the dining-room.] + +TUZENBACH. My surname is really triple. I am called Baron +Tuzenbach-Krone-Altschauer, but I am Russian and Orthodox, the same as +you. There is very little German left in me, unless perhaps it is the +patience and the obstinacy with which I bore you. I see you home every +night. + +IRINA. How tired I am! + +TUZENBACH. And I'll come to the telegraph office to see you home every +day for ten or twenty years, until you drive me away. [He sees MASHA and +VERSHININ; joyfully] Is that you? How do you do. + +IRINA. Well, I am home at last. [To MASHA] A lady came to-day to +telegraph to her brother in Saratov that her son died to-day, and she +couldn't remember the address anyhow. So she sent the telegram without +an address, just to Saratov. She was crying. And for some reason or +other I was rude to her. "I've no time," I said. It was so stupid. Are +the entertainers coming to-night? + +MASHA. Yes. + +IRINA. [Sitting down in an armchair] I want a rest. I am tired. + +TUZENBACH. [Smiling] When you come home from your work you seem so +young, and so unfortunate.... [Pause.] + +IRINA. I am tired. No, I don't like the telegraph office, I don't like +it. + +MASHA. You've grown thinner.... [Whistles a little] And you look +younger, and your face has become like a boy's. + +TUZENBACH. That's the way she does her hair. + +IRINA. I must find another job, this one won't do for me. What I wanted, +what I hoped to get, just that is lacking here. Labour without poetry, +without ideas.... [A knock on the floor] The doctor is knocking. [To +TUZENBACH] Will you knock, dear. I can't... I'm tired.... [TUZENBACH +knocks] He'll come in a minute. Something ought to be done. Yesterday +the doctor and Andrey played cards at the club and lost money. Andrey +seems to have lost 200 roubles. + +MASHA. [With indifference] What can we do now? + +IRINA. He lost money a fortnight ago, he lost money in December. Perhaps +if he lost everything we should go away from this town. Oh, my God, I +dream of Moscow every night. I'm just like a lunatic. [Laughs] We go +there in June, and before June there's still... February, March, April, +May... nearly half a year! + +MASHA. Only Natasha mustn't get to know of these losses. + +IRINA. I expect it will be all the same to her. + +[CHEBUTIKIN, who has only just got out of bed--he was resting after +dinner--comes into the dining-room and combs his beard. He then sits by +the table and takes a newspaper from his pocket.] + +MASHA. Here he is.... Has he paid his rent? + +IRINA. [Laughs] No. He's been here eight months and hasn't paid a +copeck. Seems to have forgotten. + +MASHA. [Laughs] What dignity in his pose! [They all laugh. A pause.] + +IRINA. Why are you so silent, Alexander Ignateyevitch? + +VERSHININ. I don't know. I want some tea. Half my life for a tumbler of +tea: I haven't had anything since morning. + +CHEBUTIKIN. Irina Sergeyevna! + +IRINA. What is it? + +CHEBUTIKIN. Please come here, Venez ici. [IRINA goes and sits by the +table] I can't do without you. [IRINA begins to play patience.] + +VERSHININ. Well, if we can't have any tea, let's philosophize, at any +rate. + +TUZENBACH. Yes, let's. About what? + +VERSHININ. About what? Let us meditate... about life as it will be after +our time; for example, in two or three hundred years. + +TUZENBACH. Well? After our time people will fly about in balloons, the +cut of one's coat will change, perhaps they'll discover a sixth sense +and develop it, but life will remain the same, laborious, mysterious, +and happy. And in a thousand years' time, people will still be sighing: +"Life is hard!"--and at the same time they'll be just as afraid of +death, and unwilling to meet it, as we are. + +VERSHININ. [Thoughtfully] How can I put it? It seems to me that +everything on earth must change, little by little, and is already +changing under our very eyes. After two or three hundred years, after +a thousand--the actual time doesn't matter--a new and happy age will +begin. We, of course, shall not take part in it, but we live and work +and even suffer to-day that it should come. We create it--and in that +one object is our destiny and, if you like, our happiness. + +[MASHA laughs softly.] + +TUZENBACH. What is it? + +MASHA. I don't know. I've been laughing all day, ever since morning. + +VERSHININ. I finished my education at the same point as you, I have not +studied at universities; I read a lot, but I cannot choose my books and +perhaps what I read is not at all what I should, but the longer I love, +the more I want to know. My hair is turning white, I am nearly an old +man now, but I know so little, oh, so little! But I think I know the +things that matter most, and that are most real. I know them well. And I +wish I could make you understand that there is no happiness for us, +that there should not and cannot be.... We must only work and work, and +happiness is only for our distant posterity. [Pause] If not for me, then +for the descendants of my descendants. + +[FEDOTIK and RODE come into the dining-room; they sit and sing softly, +strumming on a guitar.] + +TUZENBACH. According to you, one should not even think about happiness! +But suppose I am happy! + +VERSHININ. No. + +TUZENBACH. [Moves his hands and laughs] We do not seem to understand +each other. How can I convince you? [MASHA laughs quietly, TUZENBACH +continues, pointing at her] Yes, laugh! [To VERSHININ] Not only after +two or three centuries, but in a million years, life will still be as it +was; life does not change, it remains for ever, following its own laws +which do not concern us, or which, at any rate, you will never find out. +Migrant birds, cranes for example, fly and fly, and whatever thoughts, +high or low, enter their heads, they will still fly and not know why or +where. They fly and will continue to fly, whatever philosophers come to +life among them; they may philosophize as much as they like, only they +will fly.... + +MASHA. Still, is there a meaning? + +TUZENBACH. A meaning.... Now the snow is falling. What meaning? [Pause.] + +MASHA. It seems to me that a man must have faith, or must search for a +faith, or his life will be empty, empty.... To live and not to know why +the cranes fly, why babies are born, why there are stars in the sky.... +Either you must know why you live, or everything is trivial, not worth a +straw. [A pause.] + +VERSHININ. Still, I am sorry that my youth has gone. + +MASHA. Gogol says: life in this world is a dull matter, my masters! + +TUZENBACH. And I say it's difficult to argue with you, my masters! Hang +it all. + +CHEBUTIKIN. [Reading] Balzac was married at Berdichev. [IRINA is singing +softly] That's worth making a note of. [He makes a note] Balzac was +married at Berdichev. [Goes on reading.] + +IRINA. [Laying out cards, thoughtfully] Balzac was married at Berdichev. + +TUZENBACH. The die is cast. I've handed in my resignation, Maria +Sergeyevna. + +MASHA. So I heard. I don't see what good it is; I don't like civilians. + +TUZENBACH. Never mind.... [Gets up] I'm not handsome; what use am I as a +soldier? Well, it makes no difference... I shall work. If only just once +in my life I could work so that I could come home in the evening, +fall exhausted on my bed, and go to sleep at once. [Going into the +dining-room] Workmen, I suppose, do sleep soundly! + +FEDOTIK. [To IRINA] I bought some coloured pencils for you at Pizhikov's +in the Moscow Road, just now. And here is a little knife. + +IRINA. You have got into the habit of behaving to me as if I am a little +girl, but I am grown up. [Takes the pencils and the knife, then, with +joy] How lovely! + +FEDOTIK. And I bought myself a knife... look at it... one blade, +another, a third, an ear-scoop, scissors, nail-cleaners. + +RODE. [Loudly] Doctor, how old are you? + +CHEBUTIKIN. I? Thirty-two. [Laughter] + +FEDOTIK. I'll show you another kind of patience.... [Lays out cards.] + +[A samovar is brought in; ANFISA attends to it; a little later NATASHA +enters and helps by the table; SOLENI arrives and, after greetings, sits +by the table.] + +VERSHININ. What a wind! + +MASHA. Yes. I'm tired of winter. I've already forgotten what summer's +like. + +IRINA. It's coming out, I see. We're going to Moscow. + +FEDOTIK. No, it won't come out. Look, the eight was on the two of +spades. [Laughs] That means you won't go to Moscow. + +CHEBUTIKIN. [Reading paper] Tsitsigar. Smallpox is raging here. + +ANFISA. [Coming up to MASHA] Masha, have some tea, little mother. [To +VERSHININ] Please have some, sir... excuse me, but I've forgotten your +name.... + +MASHA. Bring some here, nurse. I shan't go over there. + +IRINA. Nurse! + +ANFISA. Coming, coming! + +NATASHA. [To SOLENI] Children at the breast understand perfectly. I said +"Good morning, Bobby; good morning, dear!" And he looked at me in quite +an unusual way. You think it's only the mother in me that is speaking; I +assure you that isn't so! He's a wonderful child. + +SOLENI. If he was my child I'd roast him on a frying-pan and eat him. +[Takes his tumbler into the drawing-room and sits in a corner.] + +NATASHA. [Covers her face in her hands] Vulgar, ill-bred man! + +MASHA. He's lucky who doesn't notice whether it's winter now, or summer. +I think that if I were in Moscow, I shouldn't mind about the weather. + +VERSHININ. A few days ago I was reading the prison diary of a French +minister. He had been sentenced on account of the Panama scandal. With +what joy, what delight, he speaks of the birds he saw through the prison +windows, which he had never noticed while he was a minister. Now, of +course, that he is at liberty, he notices birds no more than he did +before. When you go to live in Moscow you'll not notice it, in just +the same way. There can be no happiness for us, it only exists in our +wishes. + +TUZENBACH. [Takes cardboard box from the table] Where are the pastries? + +IRINA. Soleni has eaten them. + +TUZENBACH. All of them? + +ANFISA. [Serving tea] There's a letter for you. + +VERSHININ. For me? [Takes the letter] From my daughter. [Reads] Yes, of +course... I will go quietly. Excuse me, Maria Sergeyevna. I shan't have +any tea. [Stands up, excited] That eternal story.... + +MASHA. What is it? Is it a secret? + +VERSHININ. [Quietly] My wife has poisoned herself again. I must go. I'll +go out quietly. It's all awfully unpleasant. [Kisses MASHA'S hand] My +dear, my splendid, good woman... I'll go this way, quietly. [Exit.] + +ANFISA. Where has he gone? And I'd served tea.... What a man. + +MASHA. [Angrily] Be quiet! You bother so one can't have a moment's +peace.... [Goes to the table with her cup] I'm tired of you, old woman! + +ANFISA. My dear! Why are you offended! + +ANDREY'S VOICE. Anfisa! + +ANFISA. [Mocking] Anfisa! He sits there and... [Exit.] + +MASHA. [In the dining-room, by the table angrily] Let me sit down! +[Disturbs the cards on the table] Here you are, spreading your cards +out. Have some tea! + +IRINA. You are cross, Masha. + +MASHA. If I am cross, then don't talk to me. Don't touch me! + +CHEBUTIKIN. Don't touch her, don't touch her.... + +MASHA. You're sixty, but you're like a boy, always up to some beastly +nonsense. + +NATASHA. [Sighs] Dear Masha, why use such expressions? With your +beautiful exterior you would be simply fascinating in good society, +I tell you so directly, if it wasn't for your words. _Je vous prie, +pardonnez moi, Marie, mais vous avez des manieres un peu grossieres_. + +TUZENBACH. [Restraining his laughter] Give me... give me... there's some +cognac, I think. + +NATASHA. _Il parait, que mon Bobick deja ne dort pas_, he has awakened. +He isn't well to-day. I'll go to him, excuse me... [Exit.] + +IRINA. Where has Alexander Ignateyevitch gone? + +MASHA. Home. Something extraordinary has happened to his wife again. + +TUZENBACH. [Goes to SOLENI with a cognac-flask in his hands] You go on +sitting by yourself, thinking of something--goodness knows what. Come +and let's make peace. Let's have some cognac. [They drink] I expect I'll +have to play the piano all night, some rubbish most likely... well, so +be it! + +SOLENI. Why make peace? I haven't quarrelled with you. + +TUZENBACH. You always make me feel as if something has taken place +between us. You've a strange character, you must admit. + +SOLENI. [Declaims] "I am strange, but who is not? Don't be angry, +Aleko!" + +TUZENBACH. And what has Aleko to do with it? [Pause.] + +SOLENI. When I'm with one other man I behave just like everybody else, +but in company I'm dull and shy and... talk all manner of rubbish. But +I'm more honest and more honourable than very, very many people. And I +can prove it. + +TUZENBACH. I often get angry with you, you always fasten on to me +in company, but I like you all the same. I'm going to drink my fill +to-night, whatever happens. Drink, now! + +SOLENI. Let's drink. [They drink] I never had anything against you, +Baron. But my character is like Lermontov's [In a low voice] I even +rather resemble Lermontov, they say.... [Takes a scent-bottle from his +pocket, and scents his hands.] + +TUZENBACH. I've sent in my resignation. Basta! I've been thinking about +it for five years, and at last made up my mind. I shall work. + +SOLENI. [Declaims] "Do not be angry, Aleko... forget, forget, thy dreams +of yore...." + +[While he is speaking ANDREY enters quietly with a book, and sits by the +table.] + +TUZENBACH. I shall work. + +CHEBUTIKIN. [Going with IRINA into the dining-room] And the food was +also real Caucasian onion soup, and, for a roast, some chehartma. + +SOLENI. Cheremsha [Note: A variety of garlic.] isn't meat at all, but a +plant something like an onion. + +CHEBUTIKIN. No, my angel. Chehartma isn't onion, but roast mutton. + +SOLENI. And I tell you, chehartma--is a sort of onion. + +CHEBUTIKIN. And I tell you, chehartma--is mutton. + +SOLENI. And I tell you, cheremsha--is a sort of onion. + +CHEBUTIKIN. What's the use of arguing! You've never been in the +Caucasus, and never ate any chehartma. + +SOLENI. I never ate it, because I hate it. It smells like garlic. + +ANDREY. [Imploring] Please, please! I ask you! + +TUZENBACH. When are the entertainers coming? + +IRINA. They promised for about nine; that is, quite soon. + +TUZENBACH. [Embraces ANDREY] + + "Oh my house, my house, my new-built house." + +ANDREY. [Dances and sings] "Newly-built of maple-wood." + +CHEBUTIKIN. [Dances] + + "Its walls are like a sieve!" [Laughter.] + +TUZENBACH. [Kisses ANDREY] Hang it all, let's drink. Andrey, old boy, +let's drink with you. And I'll go with you, Andrey, to the University of +Moscow. + +SOLENI. Which one? There are two universities in Moscow. + +ANDREY. There's one university in Moscow. + +SOLENI. Two, I tell you. + +ANDREY. Don't care if there are three. So much the better. + +SOLENI. There are two universities in Moscow! [There are murmurs and +"hushes"] There are two universities in Moscow, the old one and the new +one. And if you don't like to listen, if my words annoy you, then I need +not speak. I can even go into another room.... [Exit.] + +TUZENBACH. Bravo, bravo! [Laughs] Come on, now. I'm going to play. Funny +man, Soleni.... [Goes to the piano and plays a waltz.] + +MASHA. [Dancing solo] The Baron's drunk, the Baron's drunk, the Baron's +drunk! + +[NATASHA comes in.] + +NATASHA. [To CHEBUTIKIN] Ivan Romanovitch! + +[Says something to CHEBUTIKIN, then goes out quietly; CHEBUTIKIN touches +TUZENBACH on the shoulder and whispers something to him.] + +IRINA. What is it? + +CHEBUTIKIN. Time for us to go. Good-bye. + +TUZENBACH. Good-night. It's time we went. + +IRINA. But, really, the entertainers? + +ANDREY. [In confusion] There won't be any entertainers. You see, dear, +Natasha says that Bobby isn't quite well, and so.... In a word, I don't +care, and it's absolutely all one to me. + +IRINA. [Shrugging her shoulders] Bobby ill! + +MASHA. What is she thinking of! Well, if they are sent home, I suppose +they must go. [To IRINA] Bobby's all right, it's she herself.... Here! +[Taps her forehead] Little bourgeoise! + +[ANDREY goes to his room through the right-hand door, CHEBUTIKIN follows +him. In the dining-room they are saying good-bye.] + +FEDOTIK. What a shame! I was expecting to spend the evening here, but of +course, if the little baby is ill... I'll bring him some toys to-morrow. + +RODE. [Loudly] I slept late after dinner to-day because I thought I was +going to dance all night. It's only nine o'clock now! + +MASHA. Let's go into the street, we can talk there. Then we can settle +things. + +(Good-byes and good nights are heard. TUZENBACH'S merry laughter is +heard. [All go out] ANFISA and the maid clear the table, and put out +the lights. [The nurse sings] ANDREY, wearing an overcoat and a hat, and +CHEBUTIKIN enter silently.) + +CHEBUTIKIN. I never managed to get married because my life flashed by +like lightning, and because I was madly in love with your mother, who +was married. + +ANDREY. One shouldn't marry. One shouldn't, because it's dull. + +CHEBUTIKIN. So there I am, in my loneliness. Say what you will, +loneliness is a terrible thing, old fellow.... Though really... of +course, it absolutely doesn't matter! + +ANDREY. Let's be quicker. + +CHEBUTIKIN. What are you in such a hurry for? We shall be in time. + +ANDREY. I'm afraid my wife may stop me. + +CHEBUTIKIN. Ah! + +ANDREY. I shan't play to-night, I shall only sit and look on. I don't +feel very well.... What am I to do for my asthma, Ivan Romanovitch? + +CHEBUTIKIN. Don't ask me! I don't remember, old fellow, I don't know. + +ANDREY. Let's go through the kitchen. [They go out.] + +[A bell rings, then a second time; voices and laughter are heard.] + +IRINA. [Enters] What's that? + +ANFISA. [Whispers] The entertainers! [Bell.] + +IRINA. Tell them there's nobody at home, nurse. They must excuse us. + +[ANFISA goes out. IRINA walks about the room deep in thought; she is +excited. SOLENI enters.] + +SOLENI. [In surprise] There's nobody here.... Where are they all? + +IRINA. They've gone home. + +SOLENI. How strange. Are you here alone? + +IRINA. Yes, alone. [A pause] Good-bye. + +SOLENI. Just now I behaved tactlessly, with insufficient reserve. But +you are not like all the others, you are noble and pure, you can see +the truth.... You alone can understand me. I love you, deeply, beyond +measure, I love you. + +IRINA. Good-bye! Go away. + +SOLENI. I cannot live without you. [Follows her] Oh, my happiness! +[Through his tears] Oh, joy! Wonderful, marvellous, glorious eyes, such +as I have never seen before.... + +IRINA. [Coldly] Stop it, Vassili Vassilevitch! + +SOLENI. This is the first time I speak to you of love, and it is as if +I am no longer on the earth, but on another planet. [Wipes his forehead] +Well, never mind. I can't make you love me by force, of course... but I +don't intend to have any more-favoured rivals.... No... I swear to you +by all the saints, I shall kill my rival.... Oh, beautiful one! + +[NATASHA enters with a candle; she looks in through one door, then +through another, and goes past the door leading to her husband's room.] + +NATASHA. Here's Andrey. Let him go on reading. Excuse me, Vassili +Vassilevitch, I did not know you were here; I am engaged in +domesticities. + +SOLENI. It's all the same to me. Good-bye! [Exit.] + +NATASHA. You're so tired, my poor dear girl! [Kisses IRINA] If you only +went to bed earlier. + +IRINA. Is Bobby asleep? + +NATASHA. Yes, but restlessly. By the way, dear, I wanted to tell you, +but either you weren't at home, or I was busy... I think Bobby's present +nursery is cold and damp. And your room would be so nice for the child. +My dear, darling girl, do change over to Olga's for a bit! + +IRINA. [Not understanding] Where? + +[The bells of a troika are heard as it drives up to the house.] + +NATASHA. You and Olga can share a room, for the time being, and Bobby +can have yours. He's such a darling; to-day I said to him, "Bobby, +you're mine! Mine!" And he looked at me with his dear little eyes. +[A bell rings] It must be Olga. How late she is! [The maid enters and +whispers to NATASHA] Protopopov? What a queer man to do such a thing. +Protopopov's come and wants me to go for a drive with him in his troika. +[Laughs] How funny these men are.... [A bell rings] Somebody has come. +Suppose I did go and have half an hour's drive.... [To the maid] Say +I shan't be long. [Bell rings] Somebody's ringing, it must be Olga. +[Exit.] + +[The maid runs out; IRINA sits deep in thought; KULIGIN and OLGA enter, +followed by VERSHININ.] + +KULIGIN. Well, there you are. And you said there was going to be a +party. + +VERSHININ. It's queer; I went away not long ago, half an hour ago, and +they were expecting entertainers. + +IRINA. They've all gone. + +KULIGIN. Has Masha gone too? Where has she gone? And what's Protopopov +waiting for downstairs in his troika? Whom is he expecting? + +IRINA. Don't ask questions... I'm tired. + +KULIGIN. Oh, you're all whimsies.... + +OLGA. My committee meeting is only just over. I'm tired out. Our +chairwoman is ill, so I had to take her place. My head, my head is +aching.... [Sits] Andrey lost 200 roubles at cards yesterday... the +whole town is talking about it.... + +KULIGIN. Yes, my meeting tired me too. [Sits.] + +VERSHININ. My wife took it into her head to frighten me just now by +nearly poisoning herself. It's all right now, and I'm glad; I can rest +now.... But perhaps we ought to go away? Well, my best wishes, Feodor +Ilitch, let's go somewhere together! I can't, I absolutely can't stop at +home.... Come on! + +KULIGIN. I'm tired. I won't go. [Gets up] I'm tired. Has my wife gone +home? + +IRINA. I suppose so. + +KULIGIN. [Kisses IRINA'S hand] Good-bye, I'm going to rest all day +to-morrow and the day after. Best wishes! [Going] I should like some +tea. I was looking forward to spending the whole evening in pleasant +company and--o, fallacem hominum spem!... Accusative case after an +interjection.... + +VERSHININ. Then I'll go somewhere by myself. [Exit with KULIGIN, +whistling.] + +OLGA. I've such a headache... Andrey has been losing money.... The whole +town is talking.... I'll go and lie down. [Going] I'm free to-morrow.... +Oh, my God, what a mercy! I'm free to-morrow, I'm free the day after.... +Oh my head, my head.... [Exit.] + +IRINA. [alone] They've all gone. Nobody's left. + +[A concertina is being played in the street. The nurse sings.] + +NATASHA. [in fur coat and cap, steps across the dining-room, followed +by the maid] I'll be back in half an hour. I'm only going for a little +drive. [Exit.] + +IRINA. [Alone in her misery] To Moscow! Moscow! Moscow! + +Curtain. + + + + +ACT III + +[The room shared by OLGA and IRINA. Beds, screened off, on the right and +left. It is past 2 a.m. Behind the stage a fire-alarm is ringing; it has +apparently been going for some time. Nobody in the house has gone to bed +yet. MASHA is lying on a sofa dressed, as usual, in black. Enter OLGA +and ANFISA.] + +ANFISA. Now they are downstairs, sitting under the stairs. I said to +them, "Won't you come up," I said, "You can't go on like this," and they +simply cried, "We don't know where father is." They said, "He may be +burnt up by now." What an idea! And in the yard there are some people... +also undressed. + +OLGA. [Takes a dress out of the cupboard] Take this grey dress.... And +this... and the blouse as well.... Take the skirt, too, nurse.... My +God! How awful it is! The whole of the Kirsanovsky Road seems to have +burned down. Take this... and this.... [Throws clothes into her hands] +The poor Vershinins are so frightened.... Their house was nearly burnt. +They ought to come here for the night.... They shouldn't be allowed +to go home.... Poor Fedotik is completely burnt out, there's nothing +left.... + +ANFISA. Couldn't you call Ferapont, Olga dear. I can hardly manage.... + +OLGA. [Rings] They'll never answer.... [At the door] Come here, whoever +there is! [Through the open door can be seen a window, red with flame: +afire-engine is heard passing the house] How awful this is. And how I'm +sick of it! [FERAPONT enters] Take these things down.... The Kolotilin +girls are down below... and let them have them. This, too. + +FERAPONT. Yes'm. In the year twelve Moscow was burning too. Oh, my God! +The Frenchmen were surprised. + +OLGA. Go on, go on.... + +FERAPONT. Yes'm. [Exit.] + +OLGA. Nurse, dear, let them have everything. We don't want anything. +Give it all to them, nurse.... I'm tired, I can hardly keep on my +legs.... The Vershinins mustn't be allowed to go home.... The girls can +sleep in the drawing-room, and Alexander Ignateyevitch can go downstairs +to the Baron's flat... Fedotik can go there, too, or else into our +dining-room.... The doctor is drunk, beastly drunk, as if on purpose, +so nobody can go to him. Vershinin's wife, too, may go into the +drawing-room. + +ANFISA. [Tired] Olga, dear girl, don't dismiss me! Don't dismiss me! + +OLGA. You're talking nonsense, nurse. Nobody is dismissing you. + +ANFISA. [Puts OLGA'S head against her bosom] My dear, precious girl, I'm +working, I'm toiling away... I'm growing weak, and they'll all say go +away! And where shall I go? Where? I'm eighty. Eighty-one years old.... + +OLGA. You sit down, nurse dear.... You're tired, poor dear.... [Makes +her sit down] Rest, dear. You're so pale! + +[NATASHA comes in.] + +NATASHA. They are saying that a committee to assist the sufferers from +the fire must be formed at once. What do you think of that? It's a +beautiful idea. Of course the poor ought to be helped, it's the duty of +the rich. Bobby and little Sophy are sleeping, sleeping as if nothing at +all was the matter. There's such a lot of people here, the place is full +of them, wherever you go. There's influenza in the town now. I'm afraid +the children may catch it. + +OLGA. [Not attending] In this room we can't see the fire, it's quiet +here. + +NATASHA. Yes... I suppose I'm all untidy. [Before the looking-glass] +They say I'm growing stout... it isn't true! Certainly it isn't! Masha's +asleep; the poor thing is tired out.... [Coldly, to ANFISA] Don't dare +to be seated in my presence! Get up! Out of this! [Exit ANFISA; a pause] +I don't understand what makes you keep on that old woman! + +OLGA. [Confusedly] Excuse me, I don't understand either... + +NATASHA. She's no good here. She comes from the country, she ought to +live there.... Spoiling her, I call it! I like order in the house! +We don't want any unnecessary people here. [Strokes her cheek] You're +tired, poor thing! Our head mistress is tired! And when my little Sophie +grows up and goes to school I shall be so afraid of you. + +OLGA. I shan't be head mistress. + +NATASHA. They'll appoint you, Olga. It's settled. + +OLGA. I'll refuse the post. I can't... I'm not strong enough.... [Drinks +water] You were so rude to nurse just now... I'm sorry. I can't stand +it... everything seems dark in front of me.... + +NATASHA. [Excited] Forgive me, Olga, forgive me... I didn't want to +annoy you. + +[MASHA gets up, takes a pillow and goes out angrily.] + +OLGA. Remember, dear... we have been brought up, in an unusual way, +perhaps, but I can't bear this. Such behaviour has a bad effect on me, I +get ill... I simply lose heart! + +NATASHA. Forgive me, forgive me.... [Kisses her.] + +OLGA. Even the least bit of rudeness, the slightest impoliteness, upsets +me. + +NATASHA. I often say too much, it's true, but you must agree, dear, that +she could just as well live in the country. + +OLGA. She has been with us for thirty years. + +NATASHA. But she can't do any work now. Either I don't understand, or +you don't want to understand me. She's no good for work, she can only +sleep or sit about. + +OLGA. And let her sit about. + +NATASHA. [Surprised] What do you mean? She's only a servant. [Crying] I +don't understand you, Olga. I've got a nurse, a wet-nurse, we've a cook, +a housemaid... what do we want that old woman for as well? What good is +she? [Fire-alarm behind the stage.] + +OLGA. I've grown ten years older to-night. + +NATASHA. We must come to an agreement, Olga. Your place is the school, +mine--the home. You devote yourself to teaching, I, to the household. +And if I talk about servants, then I do know what I am talking about; I +do know what I am talking about... And to-morrow there's to be no more +of that old thief, that old hag... [Stamping] that witch! And don't you +dare to annoy me! Don't you dare! [Stopping short] Really, if you don't +move downstairs, we shall always be quarrelling. This is awful. + +[Enter KULIGIN.] + +KULIGIN. Where's Masha? It's time we went home. The fire seems to be +going down. [Stretches himself] Only one block has burnt down, but there +was such a wind that it seemed at first the whole town was going to +burn. [Sits] I'm tired out. My dear Olga... I often think that if +it hadn't been for Masha, I should have married you. You are awfully +nice.... I am absolutely tired out. [Listens.] + +OLGA. What is it? + +KULIGIN. The doctor, of course, has been drinking hard; he's terribly +drunk. He might have done it on purpose! [Gets up] He seems to be coming +here.... Do you hear him? Yes, here.... [Laughs] What a man... really... +I'll hide myself. [Goes to the cupboard and stands in the corner] What a +rogue. + +OLGA. He hadn't touched a drop for two years, and now he suddenly goes +and gets drunk.... + +[Retires with NATASHA to the back of the room. CHEBUTIKIN enters; +apparently sober, he stops, looks round, then goes to the wash-stand and +begins to wash his hands.] + +CHEBUTIKIN. [Angrily] Devil take them all... take them all.... They +think I'm a doctor and can cure everything, and I know absolutely +nothing, I've forgotten all I ever knew, I remember nothing, absolutely +nothing. [OLGA and NATASHA go out, unnoticed by him] Devil take it. Last +Wednesday I attended a woman in Zasip--and she died, and it's my fault +that she died. Yes... I used to know a certain amount five-and-twenty +years ago, but I don't remember anything now. Nothing. Perhaps I'm not +really a man, and am only pretending that I've got arms and legs and a +head; perhaps I don't exist at all, and only imagine that I walk, and +eat, and sleep. [Cries] Oh, if only I didn't exist! [Stops crying; +angrily] The devil only knows.... Day before yesterday they were talking +in the club; they said, Shakespeare, Voltaire... I'd never read, never +read at all, and I put on an expression as if I had read. And so did the +others. Oh, how beastly! How petty! And then I remembered the woman +I killed on Wednesday... and I couldn't get her out of my mind, and +everything in my mind became crooked, nasty, wretched.... So I went and +drank.... + +[IRINA, VERSHININ and TUZENBACH enter; TUZENBACH is wearing new and +fashionable civilian clothes.] + +IRINA. Let's sit down here. Nobody will come in here. + +VERSHININ. The whole town would have been destroyed if it hadn't been +for the soldiers. Good men! [Rubs his hands appreciatively] Splendid +people! Oh, what a fine lot! + +KULIGIN. [Coming up to him] What's the time? + +TUZENBACH. It's past three now. It's dawning. + +IRINA. They are all sitting in the dining-room, nobody is going. And +that Soleni of yours is sitting there. [To CHEBUTIKIN] Hadn't you better +be going to sleep, doctor? + +CHEBUTIKIN. It's all right... thank you.... [Combs his beard.] + +KULIGIN. [Laughs] Speaking's a bit difficult, eh, Ivan Romanovitch! +[Pats him on the shoulder] Good man! _In vino veritas_, the ancients +used to say. + +TUZENBACH. They keep on asking me to get up a concert in aid of the +sufferers. + +IRINA. As if one could do anything.... + +TUZENBACH. It might be arranged, if necessary. In my opinion Maria +Sergeyevna is an excellent pianist. + +KULIGIN. Yes, excellent! + +IRINA. She's forgotten everything. She hasn't played for three years... +or four. + +TUZENBACH. In this town absolutely nobody understands music, not a soul +except myself, but I do understand it, and assure you on my word of +honour that Maria Sergeyevna plays excellently, almost with genius. + +KULIGIN. You are right, Baron, I'm awfully fond of Masha. She's very +fine. + +TUZENBACH. To be able to play so admirably and to realize at the same +time that nobody, nobody can understand you! + +KULIGIN. [Sighs] Yes.... But will it be quite all right for her to take +part in a concert? [Pause] You see, I don't know anything about it. +Perhaps it will even be all to the good. Although I must admit that our +Director is a good man, a very good man even, a very clever man, still +he has such views.... Of course it isn't his business but still, if you +wish it, perhaps I'd better talk to him. + +[CHEBUTIKIN takes a porcelain clock into his hands and examines it.] + +VERSHININ. I got so dirty while the fire was on, I don't look like +anybody on earth. [Pause] Yesterday I happened to hear, casually, that +they want to transfer our brigade to some distant place. Some said to +Poland, others, to Chita. + +TUZENBACH. I heard so, too. Well, if it is so, the town will be quite +empty. + +IRINA. And we'll go away, too! + +CHEBUTIKIN. [Drops the clock which breaks to pieces] To smithereens! + +[A pause; everybody is pained and confused.] + +KULIGIN. [Gathering up the pieces] To smash such a valuable object--oh, +Ivan Romanovitch, Ivan Romanovitch! A very bad mark for your +misbehaviour! + +IRINA. That clock used to belong to our mother. + +CHEBUTIKIN. Perhaps.... To your mother, your mother. Perhaps I didn't +break it; it only looks as if I broke it. Perhaps we only think that +we exist, when really we don't. I don't know anything, nobody knows +anything. [At the door] What are you looking at? Natasha has a little +romance with Protopopov, and you don't see it.... There you sit and see +nothing, and Natasha has a little romance with Protopovov.... [Sings] +Won't you please accept this date.... [Exit.] + +VERSHININ. Yes. [Laughs] How strange everything really is! [Pause] When +the fire broke out, I hurried off home; when I get there I see the house +is whole, uninjured, and in no danger, but my two girls are standing by +the door in just their underclothes, their mother isn't there, the crowd +is excited, horses and dogs are running about, and the girls' faces are +so agitated, terrified, beseeching, and I don't know what else. My heart +was pained when I saw those faces. My God, I thought, what these girls +will have to put up with if they live long! I caught them up and ran, +and still kept on thinking the one thing: what they will have to live +through in this world! [Fire-alarm; a pause] I come here and find their +mother shouting and angry. [MASHA enters with a pillow and sits on +the sofa] And when my girls were standing by the door in just their +underclothes, and the street was red from the fire, there was a dreadful +noise, and I thought that something of the sort used to happen many +years ago when an enemy made a sudden attack, and looted, and burned.... +And at the same time what a difference there really is between the +present and the past! And when a little more time has gone by, in two or +three hundred years perhaps, people will look at our present life with +just the same fear, and the same contempt, and the whole past will seem +clumsy and dull, and very uncomfortable, and strange. Oh, indeed, what a +life there will be, what a life! [Laughs] Forgive me, I've dropped +into philosophy again. Please let me continue. I do awfully want to +philosophize, it's just how I feel at present. [Pause] As if they +are all asleep. As I was saying: what a life there will be! Only just +imagine.... There are only three persons like yourselves in the town +just now, but in future generations there will be more and more, and +still more, and the time will come when everything will change and +become as you would have it, people will live as you do, and then you +too will go out of date; people will be born who are better than +you.... [Laughs] Yes, to-day I am quite exceptionally in the vein. I am +devilishly keen on living.... [Sings.] + + "The power of love all ages know, + From its assaults great good does grow." [Laughs.] + +MASHA. Trum-tum-tum... + +VERSHININ. Tum-tum... + +MASHA. Tra-ra-ra? + +VERSHININ. Tra-ta-ta. [Laughs.] + +[Enter FEDOTIK.] + +FEDOTIK. [Dancing] I'm burnt out, I'm burnt out! Down to the ground! +[Laughter.] + +IRINA. I don't see anything funny about it. Is everything burnt? + +FEDOTIK. [Laughs] Absolutely. Nothing left at all. The guitar's burnt, +and the photographs are burnt, and all my correspondence.... And I was +going to make you a present of a note-book, and that's burnt too. + +[SOLENI comes in.] + +IRINA. No, you can't come here, Vassili Vassilevitch. Please go away. + +SOLENI. Why can the Baron come here and I can't? + +VERSHININ. We really must go. How's the fire? + +SOLENI. They say it's going down. No, I absolutely don't see why the +Baron can, and I can't? [Scents his hands.] + +VERSHININ. Trum-tum-tum. + +MASHA. Trum-tum. + +VERSHININ. [Laughs to SOLENI] Let's go into the dining-room. + +SOLENI. Very well, we'll make a note of it. "If I should try to make +this clear, the geese would be annoyed, I fear." [Looks at TUZENBACH] +There, there, there.... [Goes out with VERSHININ and FEDOTIK.] + +IRINA. How Soleni smelt of tobacco.... [In surprise] The Baron's asleep! +Baron! Baron! + +TUZENBACH. [Waking] I am tired, I must say.... The brickworks.... +No, I'm not wandering, I mean it; I'm going to start work soon at the +brickworks... I've already talked it over. [Tenderly, to IRINA] You're +so pale, and beautiful, and charming.... Your paleness seems to shine +through the dark air as if it was a light.... You are sad, displeased +with life.... Oh, come with me, let's go and work together! + +MASHA. Nicolai Lvovitch, go away from here. + +TUZENBACH. [Laughs] Are you here? I didn't see you. [Kisses IRINA'S +hand] good-bye, I'll go... I look at you now and I remember, as if it +was long ago, your name-day, when you, cheerfully and merrily, were +talking about the joys of labour.... And how happy life seemed to me, +then! What has happened to it now? [Kisses her hand] There are tears in +your eyes. Go to bed now; it is already day... the morning begins.... If +only I was allowed to give my life for you! + +MASHA. Nicolai Lvovitch, go away! What business... + +TUZENBACH. I'm off. [Exit.] + +MASHA. [Lies down] Are you asleep, Feodor? + +KULIGIN. Eh? + +MASHA. Shouldn't you go home. + +KULIGIN. My dear Masha, my darling Masha.... + +IRINA. She's tired out. You might let her rest, Fedia. + +KULIGIN. I'll go at once. My wife's a good, splendid... I love you, my +only one.... + +MASHA. [Angrily] Amo, amas, amat, amamus, amatis, amant. + +KULIGIN. [Laughs] No, she really is wonderful. I've been your husband +seven years, and it seems as if I was only married yesterday. On +my word. No, you really are a wonderful woman. I'm satisfied, I'm +satisfied, I'm satisfied! + +MASHA. I'm bored, I'm bored, I'm bored.... [Sits up] But I can't get it +out of my head.... It's simply disgraceful. It has been gnawing away at +me... I can't keep silent. I mean about Andrey.... He has mortgaged this +house with the bank, and his wife has got all the money; but the house +doesn't belong to him alone, but to the four of us! He ought to know +that, if he's an honourable man. + +KULIGIN. What's the use, Masha? Andrey is in debt all round; well, let +him do as he pleases. + +MASHA. It's disgraceful, anyway. [Lies down] + +KULIGIN. You and I are not poor. I work, take my classes, give private +lessons... I am a plain, honest man... _Omnia mea mecum porto_, as they +say. + +MASHA. I don't want anything, but the unfairness of it disgusts me. +[Pause] You go, Feodor. + +KULIGIN. [Kisses her] You're tired, just rest for half an hour, and I'll +sit and wait for you. Sleep.... [Going] I'm satisfied, I'm satisfied, +I'm satisfied. [Exit.] + +IRINA. Yes, really, our Andrey has grown smaller; how he's snuffed +out and aged with that woman! He used to want to be a professor, and +yesterday he was boasting that at last he had been made a member of the +district council. He is a member, and Protopopov is chairman.... The +whole town talks and laughs about it, and he alone knows and sees +nothing.... And now everybody's gone to look at the fire, but he sits +alone in his room and pays no attention, only just plays on his fiddle. +[Nervily] Oh, it's awful, awful, awful. [Weeps] I can't, I can't bear it +any longer!... I can't, I can't!... [OLGA comes in and clears up at her +little table. IRINA is sobbing loudly] Throw me out, throw me out, I +can't bear any more! + +OLGA. [Alarmed] What is it, what is it? Dear! + +IRINA. [Sobbing] Where? Where has everything gone? Where is it all? +Oh my God, my God! I've forgotten everything, everything... I don't +remember what is the Italian for window or, well, for ceiling... I +forget everything, every day I forget it, and life passes and will never +return, and we'll never go away to Moscow... I see that we'll never +go.... + +OLGA. Dear, dear.... + +IRINA. [Controlling herself] Oh, I am unhappy... I can't work, I shan't +work. Enough, enough! I used to be a telegraphist, now I work at the +town council offices, and I have nothing but hate and contempt for all +they give me to do... I am already twenty-three, I have already been +at work for a long while, and my brain has dried up, and I've grown +thinner, plainer, older, and there is no relief of any sort, and time +goes and it seems all the while as if I am going away from the real, the +beautiful life, farther and farther away, down some precipice. I'm in +despair and I can't understand how it is that I am still alive, that I +haven't killed myself. + +OLGA. Don't cry, dear girl, don't cry... I suffer, too. + +IRINA. I'm not crying, not crying.... Enough.... Look, I'm not crying +any more. Enough... enough! + +OLGA. Dear, I tell you as a sister and a friend if you want my advice, +marry the Baron. [IRINA cries softly] You respect him, you think highly +of him.... It is true that he is not handsome, but he is so honourable +and clean... people don't marry from love, but in order to do one's +duty. I think so, at any rate, and I'd marry without being in love. +Whoever he was, I should marry him, so long as he was a decent man. Even +if he was old.... + +IRINA. I was always waiting until we should be settled in Moscow, there +I should meet my true love; I used to think about him, and love him.... +But it's all turned out to be nonsense, all nonsense.... + +OLGA. [Embraces her sister] My dear, beautiful sister, I understand +everything; when Baron Nicolai Lvovitch left the army and came to us in +evening dress, [Note: I.e. in the correct dress for making a proposal of +marriage.] he seemed so bad-looking to me that I even started crying.... +He asked, "What are you crying for?" How could I tell him! But if God +brought him to marry you, I should be happy. That would be different, +quite different. + +[NATASHA with a candle walks across the stage from right to left without +saying anything.] + +MASHA. [Sitting up] She walks as if she's set something on fire. + +OLGA. Masha, you're silly, you're the silliest of the family. Please +forgive me for saying so. [Pause.] + +MASHA. I want to make a confession, dear sisters. My soul is in pain. +I will confess to you, and never again to anybody... I'll tell you this +minute. [Softly] It's my secret but you must know everything... I can't +be silent.... [Pause] I love, I love... I love that man.... You saw him +only just now.... Why don't I say it... in one word. I love Vershinin. + +OLGA. [Goes behind her screen] Stop that, I don't hear you in any case. + +MASHA. What am I to do? [Takes her head in her hands] First he seemed +queer to me, then I was sorry for him... then I fell in love with +him... fell in love with his voice, his words, his misfortunes, his two +daughters. + +OLGA. [Behind the screen] I'm not listening. You may talk any nonsense +you like, it will be all the same, I shan't hear. + +MASHA. Oh, Olga, you are foolish. I am in love--that means that is to be +my fate. It means that is to be my lot.... And he loves me.... It is all +awful. Yes; it isn't good, is it? [Takes IRINA'S hand and draws her to +her] Oh, my dear.... How are we going to live through our lives, what is +to become of us.... When you read a novel it all seems so old and easy, +but when you fall in love yourself, then you learn that nobody knows +anything, and each must decide for himself.... My dear ones, my +sisters... I've confessed, now I shall keep silence.... Like the +lunatics in Gogol's story, I'm going to be silent... silent... + +[ANDREY enters, followed by FERAPONT.] + +ANDREY. [Angrily] What do you want? I don't understand. + +FERAPONT. [At the door, impatiently] I've already told you ten times, +Andrey Sergeyevitch. + +ANDREY. In the first place I'm not Andrey Sergeyevitch, but sir. [Note: +Quite literally, "your high honour," to correspond to Andrey's rank as a +civil servant.] + +FERAPONT. The firemen, sir, ask if they can go across your garden to the +river. Else they go right round, right round; it's a nuisance. + +ANDREY. All right. Tell them it's all right. [Exit FERAPONT] I'm tired +of them. Where is Olga? [OLGA comes out from behind the screen] I came +to you for the key of the cupboard. I lost my own. You've got a little +key. [OLGA gives him the key; IRINA goes behind her screen; pause] What +a huge fire! It's going down now. Hang it all, that Ferapont made me so +angry that I talked nonsense to him.... Sir, indeed.... [A pause] Why +are you so silent, Olga? [Pause] It's time you stopped all that nonsense +and behaved as if you were properly alive.... You are here, Masha. +Irina is here, well, since we're all here, let's come to a complete +understanding, once and for all. What have you against me? What is it? + +OLGA. Please don't, Audrey dear. We'll talk to-morrow. [Excited] What an +awful night! + +ANDREY. [Much confused] Don't excite yourself. I ask you in perfect +calmness; what have you against me? Tell me straight. + +VERSHININ'S VOICE. Trum-tum-tum! + +MASHA. [Stands; loudly] Tra-ta-ta! [To OLGA] Goodbye, Olga, God bless +you. [Goes behind screen and kisses IRINA] Sleep well.... Good-bye, +Andrey. Go away now, they're tired... you can explain to-morrow.... +[Exit.] + +ANDREY. I'll only say this and go. Just now.... In the first place, +you've got something against Natasha, my wife; I've noticed it since +the very day of my marriage. Natasha is a beautiful and honest creature, +straight and honourable--that's my opinion. I love and respect my wife; +understand it, I respect her, and I insist that others should respect +her too. I repeat, she's an honest and honourable person, and all your +disapproval is simply silly... [Pause] In the second place, you seem to +be annoyed because I am not a professor, and am not engaged in study. +But I work for the zemstvo, I am a member of the district council, and +I consider my service as worthy and as high as the service of science. +I am a member of the district council, and I am proud of it, if you want +to know. [Pause] In the third place, I have still this to say... that I +have mortgaged the house without obtaining your permission.... For that +I am to blame, and ask to be forgiven. My debts led me into doing it... +thirty-five thousand... I do not play at cards any more, I stopped long +ago, but the chief thing I have to say in my defence is that you girls +receive a pension, and I don't... my wages, so to speak.... [Pause.] + +KULIGIN. [At the door] Is Masha there? [Excitedly] Where is she? It's +queer.... [Exit.] + +ANDREY. They don't hear. Natasha is a splendid, honest person. [Walks +about in silence, then stops] When I married I thought we should be +happy... all of us.... But, my God.... [Weeps] My dear, dear sisters, +don't believe me, don't believe me.... [Exit.] + +[Fire-alarm. The stage is clear.] + +IRINA. [behind her screen] Olga, who's knocking on the floor? + +OLGA. It's doctor Ivan Romanovitch. He's drunk. + +IRINA. What a restless night! [Pause] Olga! [Looks out] Did you hear? +They are taking the brigade away from us; it's going to be transferred +to some place far away. + +OLGA. It's only a rumour. + +IRINA. Then we shall be left alone.... Olga! + +OLGA. Well? + +IRINA. My dear, darling sister, I esteem, I highly value the Baron, he's +a splendid man; I'll marry him, I'll consent, only let's go to Moscow! +I implore you, let's go! There's nothing better than Moscow on earth! +Let's go, Olga, let's go! + +Curtain + + + + +ACT IV + +[The old garden at the house of the PROSOROVS. There is a long avenue +of firs, at the end of which the river can be seen. There is a forest +on the far side of the river. On the right is the terrace of the house: +bottles and tumblers are on a table here; it is evident that champagne +has just been drunk. It is midday. Every now and again passers-by walk +across the garden, from the road to the river; five soldiers go past +rapidly. CHEBUTIKIN, in a comfortable frame of mind which does not +desert him throughout the act, sits in an armchair in the garden, +waiting to be called. He wears a peaked cap and has a stick. IRINA, +KULIGIN with a cross hanging from his neck and without his moustaches, +and TUZENBACH are standing on the terrace seeing off FEDOTIK and RODE, +who are coming down into the garden; both officers are in service +uniform.] + +TUZENBACH. [Exchanges kisses with FEDOTIK] You're a good sort, we got on +so well together. [Exchanges kisses with RODE] Once again.... Good-bye, +old man! + +IRINA. Au revoir! + +FEDOTIK. It isn't au revoir, it's good-bye; we'll never meet again! + +KULIGIN. Who knows! [Wipes his eyes; smiles] Here I've started crying! + +IRINA. We'll meet again sometime. + +FEDOTIK. After ten years--or fifteen? We'll hardly know one another +then; we'll say, "How do you do?" coldly.... [Takes a snapshot] Keep +still.... Once more, for the last time. + +RODE. [Embracing TUZENBACH] We shan't meet again.... [Kisses IRINA'S +hand] Thank you for everything, for everything! + +FEDOTIK. [Grieved] Don't be in such a hurry! + +TUZENBACH. We shall meet again, if God wills it. Write to us. Be sure to +write. + +RODE. [Looking round the garden] Good-bye, trees! [Shouts] Yo-ho! +[Pause] Good-bye, echo! + +KULIGIN. Best wishes. Go and get yourselves wives there in Poland.... +Your Polish wife will clasp you and call you "kochanku!" [Note: +Darling.] [Laughs.] + +FEDOTIK. [Looking at the time] There's less than an hour left. Soleni +is the only one of our battery who is going on the barge; the rest of +us are going with the main body. Three batteries are leaving to-day, +another three to-morrow and then the town will be quiet and peaceful. + +TUZENBACH. And terribly dull. + +RODE. And where is Maria Sergeyevna? + +KULIGIN. Masha is in the garden. + +FEDOTIK. We'd like to say good-bye to her. + +RODE. Good-bye, I must go, or else I'll start weeping.... [Quickly +embraces KULIGIN and TUZENBACH, and kisses IRINA'S hand] We've been so +happy here.... + +FEDOTIK. [To KULIGIN] Here's a keepsake for you... a note-book with a +pencil.... We'll go to the river from here.... [They go aside and both +look round.] + +RODE. [Shouts] Yo-ho! + +KULIGIN. [Shouts] Good-bye! + +[At the back of the stage FEDOTIK and RODE meet MASHA; they say good-bye +and go out with her.] + +IRINA. They've gone.... [Sits on the bottom step of the terrace.] + +CHEBUTIKIN. And they forgot to say good-bye to me. + +IRINA. But why is that? + +CHEBUTIKIN. I just forgot, somehow. Though I'll soon see them again, I'm +going to-morrow. Yes... just one day left. I shall be retired in a year, +then I'll come here again, and finish my life near you. I've only one +year before I get my pension.... [Puts one newspaper into his pocket and +takes another out] I'll come here to you and change my life radically... +I'll be so quiet... so agree... agreeable, respectable.... + +IRINA. Yes, you ought to change your life, dear man, somehow or other. + +CHEBUTIKIN. Yes, I feel it. [Sings softly.] "Tarara-boom-deay...." + +KULIGIN. We won't reform Ivan Romanovitch! We won't reform him! + +CHEBUTIKIN. If only I was apprenticed to you! Then I'd reform. + +IRINA. Feodor has shaved his moustache! I can't bear to look at him. + +KULIGIN. Well, what about it? + +CHEBUTIKIN. I could tell you what your face looks like now, but it +wouldn't be polite. + +KULIGIN. Well! It's the custom, it's modus vivendi. Our Director is +clean-shaven, and so I too, when I received my inspectorship, had +my moustaches removed. Nobody likes it, but it's all one to me. I'm +satisfied. Whether I've got moustaches or not, I'm satisfied.... [Sits.] + +[At the back of the stage ANDREY is wheeling a perambulator containing a +sleeping infant.] + +IRINA. Ivan Romanovitch, be a darling. I'm awfully worried. You were out +on the boulevard last night; tell me, what happened? + +CHEBUTIKIN. What happened? Nothing. Quite a trifling matter. [Reads +paper] Of no importance! + +KULIGIN. They say that Soleni and the Baron met yesterday on the +boulevard near the theatre.... + +TUZENBACH. Stop! What right... [Waves his hand and goes into the house.] + +KULIGIN. Near the theatre... Soleni started behaving offensively to the +Baron, who lost his temper and said something nasty.... + +CHEBUTIKIN. I don't know. It's all bunkum. + +KULIGIN. At some seminary or other a master wrote "bunkum" on an essay, +and the student couldn't make the letters out--thought it was a Latin +word "luckum." [Laughs] Awfully funny, that. They say that Soleni is in +love with Irina and hates the Baron.... That's quite natural. Irina is +a very nice girl. She's even like Masha, she's so thoughtful.... Only, +Irina your character is gentler. Though Masha's character, too, is a +very good one. I'm very fond of Masha. [Shouts of "Yo-ho!" are heard +behind the stage.] + +IRINA. [Shudders] Everything seems to frighten me today. [Pause] I've +got everything ready, and I send my things off after dinner. The +Baron and I will be married to-morrow, and to-morrow we go away to +the brickworks, and the next day I go to the school, and the new life +begins. God will help me! When I took my examination for the teacher's +post, I actually wept for joy and gratitude.... [Pause] The cart will be +here in a minute for my things.... + +KULIGIN. Somehow or other, all this doesn't seem at all serious. As if +it was all ideas, and nothing really serious. Still, with all my soul I +wish you happiness. + +CHEBUTIKIN. [With deep feeling] My splendid... my dear, precious +girl.... You've gone on far ahead, I won't catch up with you. I'm left +behind like a migrant bird grown old, and unable to fly. Fly, my +dear, fly, and God be with you! [Pause] It's a pity you shaved your +moustaches, Feodor Ilitch. + +KULIGIN. Oh, drop it! [Sighs] To-day the soldiers will be gone, and +everything will go on as in the old days. Say what you will, Masha is +a good, honest woman. I love her very much, and thank my fate for her. +People have such different fates. There's a Kosirev who works in the +excise department here. He was at school with me; he was expelled +from the fifth class of the High School for being entirely unable to +understand _ut consecutivum_. He's awfully hard up now and in very +poor health, and when I meet him I say to him, "How do you do, _ut +consecutivum_." "Yes," he says, "precisely _consecutivum_..." and +coughs. But I've been successful all my life, I'm happy, and I even have +a Stanislaus Cross, of the second class, and now I myself teach others +that _ut consecutivum_. Of course, I'm a clever man, much cleverer than +many, but happiness doesn't only lie in that.... + +["The Maiden's Prayer" is being played on the piano in the house.] + +IRINA. To-morrow night I shan't hear that "Maiden's Prayer" any more, +and I shan't be meeting Protopopov.... [Pause] Protopopov is sitting +there in the drawing-room; and he came to-day... + +KULIGIN. Hasn't the head-mistress come yet? + +IRINA. No. She has been sent for. If you only knew how difficult it is +for me to live alone, without Olga.... She lives at the High School; +she, a head-mistress, busy all day with her affairs and I'm alone, +bored, with nothing to do, and hate the room I live in.... I've made +up my mind: if I can't live in Moscow, then it must come to this. It's +fate. It can't be helped. It's all the will of God, that's the truth. +Nicolai Lvovitch made me a proposal.... Well? I thought it over and made +up my mind. He's a good man... it's quite remarkable how good he is.... +And suddenly my soul put out wings, I became happy, and light-hearted, +and once again the desire for work, work, came over me.... Only +something happened yesterday, some secret dread has been hanging over +me.... + +CHEBUTIKIN. Luckum. Rubbish. + +NATASHA. [At the window] The head-mistress. + +KULIGIN. The head-mistress has come. Let's go. [Exit with IRINA into the +house.] + +CHEBUTIKIN. "It is my washing day.... Tara-ra... boom-deay." + +[MASHA approaches, ANDREY is wheeling a perambulator at the back.] + +MASHA. Here you are, sitting here, doing nothing. + +CHEBUTIKIN. What then? + +MASHA. [Sits] Nothing.... [Pause] Did you love my mother? + +CHEBUTIKIN. Very much. + +MASHA. And did she love you? + +CHEBUTIKIN. [After a pause] I don't remember that. + +MASHA. Is my man here? When our cook Martha used to ask about her +gendarme, she used to say my man. Is he here? + +CHEBUTIKIN. Not yet. + +MASHA. When you take your happiness in little bits, in snatches, and +then lose it, as I have done, you gradually get coarser, more bitter. +[Points to her bosom] I'm boiling in here.... [Looks at ANDREY with the +perambulator] There's our brother Andrey.... All our hopes in him have +gone. There was once a great bell, a thousand persons were hoisting it, +much money and labour had been spent on it, when it suddenly fell +and was broken. Suddenly, for no particular reason.... Andrey is like +that.... + +ANDREY. When are they going to stop making such a noise in the house? +It's awful. + +CHEBUTIKIN. They won't be much longer. [Looks at his watch] My watch is +very old-fashioned, it strikes the hours.... [Winds the watch and makes +it strike] The first, second, and fifth batteries are to leave at one +o'clock precisely. [Pause] And I go to-morrow. + +ANDREY. For good? + +CHEBUTIKIN. I don't know. Perhaps I'll return in a year. The devil +only knows... it's all one.... [Somewhere a harp and violin are being +played.] + +ANDREY. The town will grow empty. It will be as if they put a cover over +it. [Pause] Something happened yesterday by the theatre. The whole town +knows of it, but I don't. + +CHEBUTIKIN. Nothing. A silly little affair. Soleni started irritating +the Baron, who lost his temper and insulted him, and so at last Soleni +had to challenge him. [Looks at his watch] It's about time, I think.... +At half-past twelve, in the public wood, that one you can see from here +across the river.... Piff-paff. [Laughs] Soleni thinks he's Lermontov, +and even writes verses. That's all very well, but this is his third +duel. + +MASHA. Whose? + +CHEBUTIKIN. Soleni's. + +MASHA. And the Baron? + +CHEBUTIKIN. What about the Baron? [Pause.] + +MASHA. Everything's all muddled up in my head.... But I say it ought not +to be allowed. He might wound the Baron or even kill him. + +CHEBUTIKIN. The Baron is a good man, but one Baron more or less--what +difference does it make? It's all the same! [Beyond the garden somebody +shouts "Co-ee! Hallo! "] You wait. That's Skvortsov shouting; one of the +seconds. He's in a boat. [Pause.] + +ANDREY. In my opinion it's simply immoral to fight in a duel, or to be +present, even in the quality of a doctor. + +CHEBUTIKIN. It only seems so.... We don't exist, there's nothing on +earth, we don't really live, it only seems that we live. Does it matter, +anyway! + +MASHA. You talk and talk the whole day long. [Going] You live in +a climate like this, where it might snow any moment, and there you +talk.... [Stops] I won't go into the house, I can't go there.... Tell me +when Vershinin comes.... [Goes along the avenue] The migrant birds are +already on the wing.... [Looks up] Swans or geese.... My dear, happy +things.... [Exit.] + +ANDREY. Our house will be empty. The officers will go away, you are +going, my sister is getting married, and I alone will remain in the +house. + +CHEBUTIKIN. And your wife? + +[FERAPONT enters with some documents.] + +ANDREY. A wife's a wife. She's honest, well-bred, yes; and kind, but +with all that there is still something about her that degenerates her +into a petty, blind, even in some respects misshapen animal. In any +case, she isn't a man. I tell you as a friend, as the only man to whom I +can lay bare my soul. I love Natasha, it's true, but sometimes she seems +extraordinarily vulgar, and then I lose myself and can't understand why +I love her so much, or, at any rate, used to love her.... + +CHEBUTIKIN. [Rises] I'm going away to-morrow, old chap, and perhaps +we'll never meet again, so here's my advice. Put on your cap, take a +stick in your hand, go... go on and on, without looking round. And the +farther you go, the better. + +[SOLENI goes across the back of the stage with two officers; he catches +sight of CHEBUTIKIN, and turns to him, the officers go on.] + +SOLENI. Doctor, it's time. It's half-past twelve already. [Shakes hands +with ANDREY.] + +CHEBUTIKIN. Half a minute. I'm tired of the lot of you. [To ANDREY] If +anybody asks for me, say I'll be back soon.... [Sighs] Oh, oh, oh! + +SOLENI. "He didn't have the time to sigh. The bear sat on him heavily." +[Goes up to him] What are you groaning about, old man? + +CHEBUTIKIN. Stop it! + +SOLENI. How's your health? + +CHEBUTIKIN. [Angry] Mind your own business. + +SOLENI. The old man is unnecessarily excited. I won't go far, I'll only +just bring him down like a snipe. [Takes out his scent-bottle and scents +his hands] I've poured out a whole bottle of scent to-day and they still +smell... of a dead body. [Pause] Yes.... You remember the poem + + "But he, the rebel seeks the storm, + As if the storm will bring him rest..."? + +CHEBUTIKIN. Yes. + + "He didn't have the time to sigh, + The bear sat on him heavily." + +[Exit with SOLENI.] + +[Shouts are heard. ANDREY and FERAPONT come in.] + +FERAPONT. Documents to sign.... + +ANDREY. [Irritated]. Go away! Leave me! Please! [Goes away with the +perambulator.] + +FERAPONT. That's what documents are for, to be signed. [Retires to back +of stage.] + +[Enter IRINA, with TUZENBACH in a straw hat; KULIGIN walks across the +stage, shouting "Co-ee, Masha, co-ee!"] + +TUZENBACH. He seems to be the only man in the town who is glad that the +soldiers are going. + +IRINA. One can understand that. [Pause] The town will be empty. + +TUZENBACH. My dear, I shall return soon. + +IRINA. Where are you going? + +TUZENBACH. I must go into the town and then... see the others off. + +IRINA. It's not true... Nicolai, why are you so absentminded to-day? +[Pause] What took place by the theatre yesterday? + +TUZENBACH. [Making a movement of impatience] In an hour's time I shall +return and be with you again. [Kisses her hands] My darling... [Looking +her closely in the face] it's five years now since I fell in love with +you, and still I can't get used to it, and you seem to me to grow more +and more beautiful. What lovely, wonderful hair! What eyes! I'm going to +take you away to-morrow. We shall work, we shall be rich, my dreams will +come true. You will be happy. There's only one thing, one thing only: +you don't love me! + +IRINA. It isn't in my power! I shall be your wife, I shall be true to +you, and obedient to you, but I can't love you. What can I do! [Cries] I +have never been in love in my life. Oh, I used to think so much of love, +I have been thinking about it for so long by day and by night, but +my soul is like an expensive piano which is locked and the key lost. +[Pause] You seem so unhappy. + +TUZENBACH. I didn't sleep at night. There is nothing in my life so awful +as to be able to frighten me, only that lost key torments my soul and +does not let me sleep. Say something to me [Pause] say something to +me.... + +IRINA. What can I say, what? + +TUZENBACH. Anything. + +IRINA. Don't! don't! [Pause.] + +TUZENBACH. It is curious how silly trivial little things, sometimes +for no apparent reason, become significant. At first you laugh at these +things, you think they are of no importance, you go on and you feel that +you haven't got the strength to stop yourself. Oh don't let's talk about +it! I am happy. It is as if for the first time in my life I see these +firs, maples, beeches, and they all look at me inquisitively and wait. +What beautiful trees and how beautiful, when one comes to think of it, +life must be near them! [A shout of Co-ee! in the distance] It's time +I went.... There's a tree which has dried up but it still sways in the +breeze with the others. And so it seems to me that if I die, I shall +still take part in life in one way or another. Good-bye, dear.... +[Kisses her hands] The papers which you gave me are on my table under +the calendar. + +IRINA. I am coming with you. + +TUZENBACH. [Nervously] No, no! [He goes quickly and stops in the avenue] +Irina! + +IRINA. What is it? + +TUZENBACH. [Not knowing what to say] I haven't had any coffee to-day. +Tell them to make me some.... [He goes out quickly.] + +[IRINA stands deep in thought. Then she goes to the back of the stage +and sits on a swing. ANDREY comes in with the perambulator and FERAPONT +also appears.] + +FERAPONT. Andrey Sergeyevitch, it isn't as if the documents were mine, +they are the government's. I didn't make them. + +ANDREY. Oh, what has become of my past and where is it? I used to be +young, happy, clever, I used to be able to think and frame clever ideas, +the present and the future seemed to me full of hope. Why do we, almost +before we have begun to live, become dull, grey, uninteresting, lazy, +apathetic, useless, unhappy.... This town has already been in existence +for two hundred years and it has a hundred thousand inhabitants, not one +of whom is in any way different from the others. There has never been, +now or at any other time, a single leader of men, a single scholar, an +artist, a man of even the slightest eminence who might arouse envy or a +passionate desire to be imitated. They only eat, drink, sleep, and then +they die... more people are born and also eat, drink, sleep, and so +as not to go silly from boredom, they try to make life many-sided +with their beastly backbiting, vodka, cards, and litigation. The wives +deceive their husbands, and the husbands lie, and pretend they see +nothing and hear nothing, and the evil influence irresistibly oppresses +the children and the divine spark in them is extinguished, and they +become just as pitiful corpses and just as much like one another as +their fathers and mothers.... [Angrily to FERAPONT] What do you want? + +FERAPONT. What? Documents want signing. + +ANDREY. I'm tired of you. + +FERAPONT. [Handing him papers] The hall-porter from the law courts was +saying just now that in the winter there were two hundred degrees of +frost in Petersburg. + +ANDREY. The present is beastly, but when I think of the future, how good +it is! I feel so light, so free; there is a light in the distance, I see +freedom. I see myself and my children freeing ourselves from vanities, +from kvass, from goose baked with cabbage, from after-dinner naps, from +base idleness.... + +FERAPONT. He was saying that two thousand people were frozen to death. +The people were frightened, he said. In Petersburg or Moscow, I don't +remember which. + +ANDREY. [Overcome by a tender emotion] My dear sisters, my beautiful +sisters! [Crying] Masha, my sister.... + +NATASHA. [At the window] Who's talking so loudly out here? Is that you, +Andrey? You'll wake little Sophie. _Il ne faut pas faire du bruit, la +Sophie est dormee deja. Vous etes un ours._ [Angrily] If you want +to talk, then give the perambulator and the baby to somebody else. +Ferapont, take the perambulator! + +FERAPONT. Yes'm. [Takes the perambulator.] + +ANDREY. [Confused] I'm speaking quietly. + +NATASHA. [At the window, nursing her boy] Bobby! Naughty Bobby! Bad +little Bobby! + +ANDREY. [Looking through the papers] All right, I'll look them over and +sign if necessary, and you can take them back to the offices.... + +[Goes into house reading papers; FERAPONT takes the perambulator to the +back of the garden.] + +NATASHA. [At the window] Bobby, what's your mother's name? Dear, dear! +And who's this? That's Aunt Olga. Say to your aunt, "How do you do, +Olga!" + +[Two wandering musicians, a man and a girl, are playing on a violin and +a harp. VERSHININ, OLGA, and ANFISA come out of the house and listen for +a minute in silence; IRINA comes up to them.] + +OLGA. Our garden might be a public thoroughfare, from the way people +walk and ride across it. Nurse, give those musicians something! + +ANFISA. [Gives money to the musicians] Go away with God's blessing on +you. [The musicians bow and go away] A bitter sort of people. You don't +play on a full stomach. [To IRINA] How do you do, Arisha! [Kisses her] +Well, little girl, here I am, still alive! Still alive! In the High +School, together with little Olga, in her official apartments... so the +Lord has appointed for my old age. Sinful woman that I am, I've never +lived like that in my life before.... A large flat, government property, +and I've a whole room and bed to myself. All government property. I wake +up at nights and, oh God, and Holy Mother, there isn't a happier person +than I! + +VERSHININ. [Looks at his watch] We are going soon, Olga Sergeyevna. It's +time for me to go. [Pause] I wish you every... every.... Where's Maria +Sergeyevna? + +IRINA. She's somewhere in the garden. I'll go and look for her. + +VERSHININ. If you'll be so kind. I haven't time. + +ANFISA. I'll go and look, too. [Shouts] Little Masha, co-ee! [Goes out +with IRINA down into the garden] Co-ee, co-ee! + +VERSHININ. Everything comes to an end. And so we, too, must part. [Looks +at his watch] The town gave us a sort of farewell breakfast, we had +champagne to drink and the mayor made a speech, and I ate and listened, +but my soul was here all the time.... [Looks round the garden] I'm so +used to you now. + +OLGA. Shall we ever meet again? + +VERSHININ. Probably not. [Pause] My wife and both my daughters will stay +here another two months. If anything happens, or if anything has to be +done... + +OLGA. Yes, yes, of course. You need not worry. [Pause] To-morrow there +won't be a single soldier left in the town, it will all be a memory, +and, of course, for us a new life will begin.... [Pause] None of our +plans are coming right. I didn't want to be a head-mistress, but they +made me one, all the same. It means there's no chance of Moscow.... + +VERSHININ. Well... thank you for everything. Forgive me if I've... I've +said such an awful lot--forgive me for that too, don't think badly of +me. + +OLGA. [Wipes her eyes] Why isn't Masha coming... + +VERSHININ. What else can I say in parting? Can I philosophize about +anything? [Laughs] Life is heavy. To many of us it seems dull and +hopeless, but still, it must be acknowledged that it is getting lighter +and clearer, and it seems that the time is not far off when it will be +quite clear. [Looks at his watch] It's time I went! Mankind used to +be absorbed in wars, and all its existence was filled with campaigns, +attacks, defeats, now we've outlived all that, leaving after us a great +waste place, which there is nothing to fill with at present; but mankind +is looking for something, and will certainly find it. Oh, if it only +happened more quickly. [Pause] If only education could be added to +industry, and industry to education. [Looks at his watch] It's time I +went.... + +OLGA. Here she comes. + +[Enter MASHA.] + +VERSHININ. I came to say good-bye.... + +[OLGA steps aside a little, so as not to be in their way.] + +MASHA. [Looking him in the face] Good-bye. [Prolonged kiss.] + +OLGA. Don't, don't. [MASHA is crying bitterly] + +VERSHININ. Write to me.... Don't forget! Let me go.... It's time. Take +her, Olga Sergeyevna... it's time... I'm late... + +[He kisses OLGA'S hand in evident emotion, then embraces MASHA once more +and goes out quickly.] + +OLGA. Don't, Masha! Stop, dear.... [KULIGIN enters.] + +KULIGIN. [Confused] Never mind, let her cry, let her.... My dear Masha, +my good Masha.... You're my wife, and I'm happy, whatever happens... I'm +not complaining, I don't reproach you at all.... Olga is a witness to +it. Let's begin to live again as we used to, and not by a single word, +or hint... + +MASHA. [Restraining her sobs] "There stands a green oak by the sea, + And a chain of bright gold is around it.... + And a chain of bright gold is around it...." + +I'm going off my head... "There stands... a green oak... by the sea."... + +OLGA. Don't, Masha, don't... give her some water.... + +MASHA. I'm not crying any more.... + +KULIGIN. She's not crying any more... she's a good... [A shot is heard +from a distance.] + +MASHA. "There stands a green oak by the sea, + And a chain of bright gold is around it... + An oak of green gold...." + +I'm mixing it up.... [Drinks some water] Life is dull... I don't want +anything more now... I'll be all right in a moment.... It doesn't +matter.... What do those lines mean? Why do they run in my head? My +thoughts are all tangled. + +[IRINA enters.] + +OLGA. Be quiet, Masha. There's a good girl.... Let's go in. + +MASHA. [Angrily] I shan't go in there. [Sobs, but controls herself at +once] I'm not going to go into the house, I won't go.... + +IRINA. Let's sit here together and say nothing. I'm going away +to-morrow.... [Pause.] + +KULIGIN. Yesterday I took away these whiskers and this beard from a boy +in the third class.... [He puts on the whiskers and beard] Don't I look +like the German master.... [Laughs] Don't I? The boys are amusing. + +MASHA. You really do look like that German of yours. + +OLGA. [Laughs] Yes. [MASHA weeps.] + +IRINA. Don't, Masha! + +KULIGIN. It's a very good likeness.... + +[Enter NATASHA.] + +NATASHA. [To the maid] What? Mihail Ivanitch Protopopov will sit with +little Sophie, and Andrey Sergeyevitch can take little Bobby out. +Children are such a bother.... [To IRINA] Irina, it's such a pity you're +going away to-morrow. Do stop just another week. [Sees KULIGIN and +screams; he laughs and takes off his beard and whiskers] How you +frightened me! [To IRINA] I've grown used to you and do you think it +will be easy for me to part from you? I'm going to have Andrey and his +violin put into your room--let him fiddle away in there!--and we'll put +little Sophie into his room. The beautiful, lovely child! What a little +girlie! To-day she looked at me with such pretty eyes and said "Mamma!" + +KULIGIN. A beautiful child, it's quite true. + +NATASHA. That means I shall have the place to myself to-morrow. [Sighs] +In the first place I shall have that avenue of fir-trees cut down, then +that maple. It's so ugly at nights.... [To IRINA] That belt doesn't suit +you at all, dear.... It's an error of taste. And I'll give orders to +have lots and lots of little flowers planted here, and they'll smell.... +[Severely] Why is there a fork lying about here on the seat? [Going +towards the house, to the maid] Why is there a fork lying about here on +the seat, I say? [Shouts] Don't you dare to answer me! + +KULIGIN. Temper! temper! [A march is played off; they all listen.] + +OLGA. They're going. + +[CHEBUTIKIN comes in.] + +MASHA. They're going. Well, well.... Bon voyage! [To her husband] We +must be going home.... Where's my coat and hat? + +KULIGIN. I took them in... I'll bring them, in a moment. + +OLGA. Yes, now we can all go home. It's time. + +CHEBUTIKIN. Olga Sergeyevna! + +OLGA. What is it? [Pause] What is it? + +CHEBUTIKIN. Nothing... I don't know how to tell you.... [Whispers to +her.] + +OLGA. [Frightened] It can't be true! + +CHEBUTIKIN. Yes... such a story... I'm tired out, exhausted, I won't say +any more.... [Sadly] Still, it's all the same! + +MASHA. What's happened? + +OLGA. [Embraces IRINA] This is a terrible day... I don't know how to +tell you, dear.... + +IRINA. What is it? Tell me quickly, what is it? For God's sake! [Cries.] + +CHEBUTIKIN. The Baron was killed in the duel just now. + +IRINA. [Cries softly] I knew it, I knew it.... + +CHEBUTIKIN. [Sits on a bench at the back of the stage] I'm tired.... +[Takes a paper from his pocket] Let 'em cry.... [Sings softly] +"Tarara-boom-deay, it is my washing day...." Isn't it all the same! + +[The three sisters are standing, pressing against one another.] + +MASHA. Oh, how the music plays! They are leaving us, one has quite left +us, quite and for ever. We remain alone, to begin our life over again. +We must live... we must live.... + +IRINA. [Puts her head on OLGA's bosom] There will come a time when +everybody will know why, for what purpose, there is all this suffering, +and there will be no more mysteries. But now we must live... we must +work, just work! To-morrow, I'll go away alone, and I'll teach and give +my whole life to those who, perhaps, need it. It's autumn now, soon it +will be winter, the snow will cover everything, and I shall be working, +working.... + +OLGA. [Embraces both her sisters] The bands are playing so gaily, so +bravely, and one does so want to live! Oh, my God! Time will pass on, +and we shall depart for ever, we shall be forgotten; they will +forget our faces, voices, and even how many there were of us, but +our sufferings will turn into joy for those who will live after us, +happiness and peace will reign on earth, and people will remember with +kindly words, and bless those who are living now. Oh dear sisters, our +life is not yet at an end. Let us live. The music is so gay, so joyful, +and, it seems that in a little while we shall know why we are living, +why we are suffering.... If we could only know, if we could only know! + +[The music has been growing softer and softer; KULIGIN, smiling happily, +brings out the hat and coat; ANDREY wheels out the perambulator in which +BOBBY is sitting.] + +CHEBUTIKIN. [Sings softly] "Tara... ra-boom-deay.... It is my +washing-day."... [Reads a paper] It's all the same! It's all the same! + +OLGA. If only we could know, if only we could know! + +Curtain. + + + + +THE CHERRY ORCHARD + +A COMEDY IN FOUR ACTS + + +CHARACTERS + + LUBOV ANDREYEVNA RANEVSKY (Mme. RANEVSKY), a landowner + ANYA, her daughter, aged seventeen + VARYA (BARBARA), her adopted daughter, aged twenty-seven + LEONID ANDREYEVITCH GAEV, Mme. Ranevsky's brother + ERMOLAI ALEXEYEVITCH LOPAKHIN, a merchant + PETER SERGEYEVITCH TROFIMOV, a student + BORIS BORISOVITCH SIMEONOV-PISCHIN, a landowner + CHARLOTTA IVANOVNA, a governess + SIMEON PANTELEYEVITCH EPIKHODOV, a clerk + DUNYASHA (AVDOTYA FEDOROVNA), a maidservant + FIERS, an old footman, aged eighty-seven + YASHA, a young footman + A TRAMP + A STATION-MASTER + POST-OFFICE CLERK + GUESTS + A SERVANT + +The action takes place on Mme. RANEVSKY'S estate + + + + +ACT ONE + + +[A room which is still called the nursery. One of the doors leads into +ANYA'S room. It is close on sunrise. It is May. The cherry-trees are +in flower but it is chilly in the garden. There is an early frost. +The windows of the room are shut. DUNYASHA comes in with a candle, and +LOPAKHIN with a book in his hand.] + +LOPAKHIN. The train's arrived, thank God. What's the time? + +DUNYASHA. It will soon be two. [Blows out candle] It is light already. + +LOPAKHIN. How much was the train late? Two hours at least. [Yawns and +stretches himself] I have made a rotten mess of it! I came here on +purpose to meet them at the station, and then overslept myself... in my +chair. It's a pity. I wish you'd wakened me. + +DUNYASHA. I thought you'd gone away. [Listening] I think I hear them +coming. + +LOPAKHIN. [Listens] No.... They've got to collect their luggage and so +on.... [Pause] Lubov Andreyevna has been living abroad for five years; +I don't know what she'll be like now.... She's a good sort--an easy, +simple person. I remember when I was a boy of fifteen, my father, who +is dead--he used to keep a shop in the village here--hit me on the face +with his fist, and my nose bled.... We had gone into the yard together +for something or other, and he was a little drunk. Lubov Andreyevna, as +I remember her now, was still young, and very thin, and she took me to +the washstand here in this very room, the nursery. She said, "Don't +cry, little man, it'll be all right in time for your wedding." [Pause] +"Little man".... My father was a peasant, it's true, but here I am in a +white waistcoat and yellow shoes... a pearl out of an oyster. I'm rich +now, with lots of money, but just think about it and examine me, and +you'll find I'm still a peasant down to the marrow of my bones. [Turns +over the pages of his book] Here I've been reading this book, but I +understood nothing. I read and fell asleep. [Pause.] + +DUNYASHA. The dogs didn't sleep all night; they know that they're +coming. + +LOPAKHIN. What's up with you, Dunyasha...? + +DUNYASHA. My hands are shaking. I shall faint. + +LOPAKHIN. You're too sensitive, Dunyasha. You dress just like a lady, +and you do your hair like one too. You oughtn't. You should know your +place. + +EPIKHODOV. [Enters with a bouquet. He wears a short jacket and +brilliantly polished boots which squeak audibly. He drops the bouquet as +he enters, then picks it up] The gardener sent these; says they're to go +into the dining-room. [Gives the bouquet to DUNYASHA.] + +LOPAKHIN. And you'll bring me some kvass. + +DUNYASHA. Very well. [Exit.] + +EPIKHODOV. There's a frost this morning--three degrees, and the +cherry-trees are all in flower. I can't approve of our climate. [Sighs] +I can't. Our climate is indisposed to favour us even this once. And, +Ermolai Alexeyevitch, allow me to say to you, in addition, that I bought +myself some boots two days ago, and I beg to assure you that they squeak +in a perfectly unbearable manner. What shall I put on them? + +LOPAKHIN. Go away. You bore me. + +EPIKHODOV. Some misfortune happens to me every day. But I don't +complain; I'm used to it, and I can smile. [DUNYASHA comes in and +brings LOPAKHIN some kvass] I shall go. [Knocks over a chair] There.... +[Triumphantly] There, you see, if I may use the word, what circumstances +I am in, so to speak. It is even simply marvellous. [Exit.] + +DUNYASHA. I may confess to you, Ermolai Alexeyevitch, that Epikhodov has +proposed to me. + +LOPAKHIN. Ah! + +DUNYASHA. I don't know what to do about it. He's a nice young man, but +every now and again, when he begins talking, you can't understand a word +he's saying. I think I like him. He's madly in love with me. He's an +unlucky man; every day something happens. We tease him about it. They +call him "Two-and-twenty troubles." + +LOPAKHIN. [Listens] There they come, I think. + +DUNYASHA. They're coming! What's the matter with me? I'm cold all over. + +LOPAKHIN. There they are, right enough. Let's go and meet them. Will she +know me? We haven't seen each other for five years. + +DUNYASHA. [Excited] I shall faint in a minute.... Oh, I'm fainting! + +[Two carriages are heard driving up to the house. LOPAKHIN and DUNYASHA +quickly go out. The stage is empty. A noise begins in the next room. +FIERS, leaning on a stick, walks quickly across the stage; he has just +been to meet LUBOV ANDREYEVNA. He wears an old-fashioned livery and a +tall hat. He is saying something to himself, but not a word of it can be +made out. The noise behind the stage gets louder and louder. A voice is +heard: "Let's go in there." Enter LUBOV ANDREYEVNA, ANYA, and CHARLOTTA +IVANOVNA with a little dog on a chain, and all dressed in travelling +clothes, VARYA in a long coat and with a kerchief on her head. GAEV, +SIMEONOV-PISCHIN, LOPAKHIN, DUNYASHA with a parcel and an umbrella, and +a servant with luggage--all cross the room.] + +ANYA. Let's come through here. Do you remember what this room is, +mother? + +LUBOV. [Joyfully, through her tears] The nursery! + +VARYA. How cold it is! My hands are quite numb. [To LUBOV ANDREYEVNA] +Your rooms, the white one and the violet one, are just as they used to +be, mother. + +LUBOV. My dear nursery, oh, you beautiful room.... I used to sleep +here when I was a baby. [Weeps] And here I am like a little girl again. +[Kisses her brother, VARYA, then her brother again] And Varya is just as +she used to be, just like a nun. And I knew Dunyasha. [Kisses her.] + +GAEV. The train was two hours late. There now; how's that for +punctuality? + +CHARLOTTA. [To PISCHIN] My dog eats nuts too. + +PISCHIN. [Astonished] To think of that, now! + +[All go out except ANYA and DUNYASHA.] + +DUNYASHA. We did have to wait for you! + +[Takes off ANYA'S cloak and hat.] + +ANYA. I didn't get any sleep for four nights on the journey.... I'm +awfully cold. + +DUNYASHA. You went away during Lent, when it was snowing and frosty, but +now? Darling! [Laughs and kisses her] We did have to wait for you, my +joy, my pet.... I must tell you at once, I can't bear to wait a minute. + +ANYA. [Tired] Something else now...? + +DUNYASHA. The clerk, Epikhodov, proposed to me after Easter. + +ANYA. Always the same.... [Puts her hair straight] I've lost all my +hairpins.... [She is very tired, and even staggers as she walks.] + +DUNYASHA. I don't know what to think about it. He loves me, he loves me +so much! + +ANYA. [Looks into her room; in a gentle voice] My room, my windows, as +if I'd never gone away. I'm at home! To-morrow morning I'll get up and +have a run in the garden....Oh, if I could only get to sleep! I didn't +sleep the whole journey, I was so bothered. + +DUNYASHA. Peter Sergeyevitch came two days ago. + +ANYA. [Joyfully] Peter! + +DUNYASHA. He sleeps in the bath-house, he lives there. He said he was +afraid he'd be in the way. [Looks at her pocket-watch] I ought to wake +him, but Barbara Mihailovna told me not to. "Don't wake him," she said. + +[Enter VARYA, a bunch of keys on her belt.] + +VARYA. Dunyasha, some coffee, quick. Mother wants some. + +DUNYASHA. This minute. [Exit.] + +VARYA. Well, you've come, glory be to God. Home again. [Caressing her] +My darling is back again! My pretty one is back again! + +ANYA. I did have an awful time, I tell you. + +VARYA. I can just imagine it! + +ANYA. I went away in Holy Week; it was very cold then. Charlotta talked +the whole way and would go on performing her tricks. Why did you tie +Charlotta on to me? + +VARYA. You couldn't go alone, darling, at seventeen! + +ANYA. We went to Paris; it's cold there and snowing. I talk French +perfectly horribly. My mother lives on the fifth floor. I go to her, and +find her there with various Frenchmen, women, an old abbe with a book, +and everything in tobacco smoke and with no comfort at all. I suddenly +became very sorry for mother--so sorry that I took her head in my arms +and hugged her and wouldn't let her go. Then mother started hugging me +and crying.... + +VARYA. [Weeping] Don't say any more, don't say any more.... + +ANYA. She's already sold her villa near Mentone; she's nothing left, +nothing. And I haven't a copeck left either; we only just managed to get +here. And mother won't understand! We had dinner at a station; she asked +for all the expensive things, and tipped the waiters one rouble each. +And Charlotta too. Yasha wants his share too--it's too bad. Mother's got +a footman now, Yasha; we've brought him here. + +VARYA. I saw the wretch. + +ANYA. How's business? Has the interest been paid? + +VARYA. Not much chance of that. + +ANYA. Oh God, oh God... + +VARYA. The place will be sold in August. + +ANYA. O God.... + +LOPAKHIN. [Looks in at the door and moos] Moo!... [Exit.] + +VARYA. [Through her tears] I'd like to.... [Shakes her fist.] + +ANYA. [Embraces VARYA, softly] Varya, has he proposed to you? [VARYA +shakes head] But he loves you.... Why don't you make up your minds? Why +do you keep on waiting? + +VARYA. I think that it will all come to nothing. He's a busy man. I'm +not his affair... he pays no attention to me. Bless the man, I don't +want to see him.... But everybody talks about our marriage, everybody +congratulates me, and there's nothing in it at all, it's all like a +dream. [In another tone] You've got a brooch like a bee. + +ANYA. [Sadly] Mother bought it. [Goes into her room, and talks lightly, +like a child] In Paris I went up in a balloon! + +VARYA. My darling's come back, my pretty one's come back! [DUNYASHA has +already returned with the coffee-pot and is making the coffee, VARYA +stands near the door] I go about all day, looking after the house, and +I think all the time, if only you could marry a rich man, then I'd be +happy and would go away somewhere by myself, then to Kiev... to Moscow, +and so on, from one holy place to another. I'd tramp and tramp. That +would be splendid! + +ANYA. The birds are singing in the garden. What time is it now? + +VARYA. It must be getting on for three. Time you went to sleep, darling. +[Goes into ANYA'S room] Splendid! + +[Enter YASHA with a plaid shawl and a travelling bag.] + +YASHA. [Crossing the stage: Politely] May I go this way? + +DUNYASHA. I hardly knew you, Yasha. You have changed abroad. + +YASHA. Hm... and who are you? + +DUNYASHA. When you went away I was only so high. [Showing with her hand] +I'm Dunyasha, the daughter of Theodore Kozoyedov. You don't remember! + +YASHA. Oh, you little cucumber! + +[Looks round and embraces her. She screams and drops a saucer. YASHA +goes out quickly.] + +VARYA. [In the doorway: In an angry voice] What's that? + +DUNYASHA. [Through her tears] I've broken a saucer. + +VARYA. It may bring luck. + +ANYA. [Coming out of her room] We must tell mother that Peter's here. + +VARYA. I told them not to wake him. + +ANYA. [Thoughtfully] Father died six years ago, and a month later my +brother Grisha was drowned in the river--such a dear little boy of +seven! Mother couldn't bear it; she went away, away, without looking +round.... [Shudders] How I understand her; if only she knew! [Pause] And +Peter Trofimov was Grisha's tutor, he might tell her.... + +[Enter FIERS in a short jacket and white waistcoat.] + +FIERS. [Goes to the coffee-pot, nervously] The mistress is going to +have some food here.... [Puts on white gloves] Is the coffee ready? [To +DUNYASHA, severely] You! Where's the cream? + +DUNYASHA. Oh, dear me...! [Rapid exit.] + +FIERS. [Fussing round the coffee-pot] Oh, you bungler.... [Murmurs +to himself] Back from Paris... the master went to Paris once... in a +carriage.... [Laughs.] + +VARYA. What are you talking about, Fiers? + +FIERS. I beg your pardon? [Joyfully] The mistress is home again. I've +lived to see her! Don't care if I die now.... [Weeps with joy.] + +[Enter LUBOV ANDREYEVNA, GAEV, LOPAKHIN, and SIMEONOV-PISCHIN, the +latter in a long jacket of thin cloth and loose trousers. GAEV, coming +in, moves his arms and body about as if he is playing billiards.] + +LUBOV. Let me remember now. Red into the corner! Twice into the centre! + +GAEV. Right into the pocket! Once upon a time you and I used both to +sleep in this room, and now I'm fifty-one; it does seem strange. + +LOPAKHIN. Yes, time does go. + +GAEV. Who does? + +LOPAKHIN. I said that time does go. + +GAEV. It smells of patchouli here. + +ANYA. I'm going to bed. Good-night, mother. [Kisses her.] + +LUBOV. My lovely little one. [Kisses her hand] Glad to be at home? I +can't get over it. + +ANYA. Good-night, uncle. + +GAEV. [Kisses her face and hands] God be with you. How you do resemble +your mother! [To his sister] You were just like her at her age, Luba. + +[ANYA gives her hand to LOPAKHIN and PISCHIN and goes out, shutting the +door behind her.] + +LUBOV. She's awfully tired. + +PISCHIN. It's a very long journey. + +VARYA. [To LOPAKHIN and PISCHIN] Well, sirs, it's getting on for three, +quite time you went. + +LUBOV. [Laughs] You're just the same as ever, Varya. [Draws her close +and kisses her] I'll have some coffee now, then we'll all go. [FIERS +lays a cushion under her feet] Thank you, dear. I'm used to coffee. I +drink it day and night. Thank you, dear old man. [Kisses FIERS.] + +VARYA. I'll go and see if they've brought in all the luggage. [Exit.] + +LUBOV. Is it really I who am sitting here? [Laughs] I want to jump +about and wave my arms. [Covers her face with her hands] But suppose I'm +dreaming! God knows I love my own country, I love it deeply; I couldn't +look out of the railway carriage, I cried so much. [Through her tears] +Still, I must have my coffee. Thank you, Fiers. Thank you, dear old man. +I'm so glad you're still with us. + +FIERS. The day before yesterday. + +GAEV. He doesn't hear well. + +LOPAKHIN. I've got to go off to Kharkov by the five o'clock train. I'm +awfully sorry! I should like to have a look at you, to gossip a little. +You're as fine-looking as ever. + +PISCHIN. [Breathes heavily] Even finer-looking... dressed in Paris +fashions... confound it all. + +LOPAKHIN. Your brother, Leonid Andreyevitch, says I'm a snob, a usurer, +but that is absolutely nothing to me. Let him talk. Only I do wish you +would believe in me as you once did, that your wonderful, touching eyes +would look at me as they did before. Merciful God! My father was the +serf of your grandfather and your own father, but you--you more than +anybody else--did so much for me once upon a time that I've forgotten +everything and love you as if you belonged to my family... and even +more. + +LUBOV. I can't sit still, I'm not in a state to do it. [Jumps up and +walks about in great excitement] I'll never survive this happiness.... +You can laugh at me; I'm a silly woman.... My dear little cupboard. +[Kisses cupboard] My little table. + +GAEV. Nurse has died in your absence. + +LUBOV. [Sits and drinks coffee] Yes, bless her soul. I heard by letter. + +GAEV. And Anastasius has died too. Peter Kosoy has left me and now lives +in town with the Commissioner of Police. [Takes a box of sugar-candy out +of his pocket and sucks a piece.] + +PISCHIN. My daughter, Dashenka, sends her love. + +LOPAKHIN. I want to say something very pleasant, very delightful, to +you. [Looks at his watch] I'm going away at once, I haven't much time... +but I'll tell you all about it in two or three words. As you already +know, your cherry orchard is to be sold to pay your debts, and the sale +is fixed for August 22; but you needn't be alarmed, dear madam, you +may sleep in peace; there's a way out. Here's my plan. Please attend +carefully! Your estate is only thirteen miles from the town, the railway +runs by, and if the cherry orchard and the land by the river are broken +up into building lots and are then leased off for villas you'll get at +least twenty-five thousand roubles a year profit out of it. + +GAEV. How utterly absurd! + +LUBOV. I don't understand you at all, Ermolai Alexeyevitch. + +LOPAKHIN. You will get twenty-five roubles a year for each dessiatin +from the leaseholders at the very least, and if you advertise now I'm +willing to bet that you won't have a vacant plot left by the autumn; +they'll all go. In a word, you're saved. I congratulate you. Only, +of course, you'll have to put things straight, and clean up.... For +instance, you'll have to pull down all the old buildings, this house, +which isn't any use to anybody now, and cut down the old cherry +orchard.... + +LUBOV. Cut it down? My dear man, you must excuse me, but you don't +understand anything at all. If there's anything interesting or +remarkable in the whole province, it's this cherry orchard of ours. + +LOPAKHIN. The only remarkable thing about the orchard is that it's very +large. It only bears fruit every other year, and even then you don't +know what to do with them; nobody buys any. + +GAEV. This orchard is mentioned in the "Encyclopaedic Dictionary." + +LOPAKHIN. [Looks at his watch] If we can't think of anything and don't +make up our minds to anything, then on August 22, both the cherry +orchard and the whole estate will be up for auction. Make up your mind! +I swear there's no other way out, I'll swear it again. + +FIERS. In the old days, forty or fifty years back, they dried the +cherries, soaked them and pickled them, and made jam of them, and it +used to happen that... + +GAEV. Be quiet, Fiers. + +FIERS. And then we'd send the dried cherries off in carts to Moscow and +Kharkov. And money! And the dried cherries were soft, juicy, sweet, and +nicely scented.... They knew the way.... + +LUBOV. What was the way? + +FIERS. They've forgotten. Nobody remembers. + +PISCHIN. [To LUBOV ANDREYEVNA] What about Paris? Eh? Did you eat frogs? + +LUBOV. I ate crocodiles. + +PISCHIN. To think of that, now. + +LOPAKHIN. Up to now in the villages there were only the gentry and the +labourers, and now the people who live in villas have arrived. All towns +now, even small ones, are surrounded by villas. And it's safe to say +that in twenty years' time the villa resident will be all over the +place. At present he sits on his balcony and drinks tea, but it may well +come to pass that he'll begin to cultivate his patch of land, and then +your cherry orchard will be happy, rich, splendid.... + +GAEV. [Angry] What rot! + +[Enter VARYA and YASHA.] + +VARYA. There are two telegrams for you, little mother. [Picks out a key +and noisily unlocks an antique cupboard] Here they are. + +LUBOV. They're from Paris.... [Tears them up without reading them] I've +done with Paris. + +GAEV. And do you know, Luba, how old this case is? A week ago I took out +the bottom drawer; I looked and saw figures burnt out in it. That case +was made exactly a hundred years ago. What do you think of that? What? +We could celebrate its jubilee. It hasn't a soul of its own, but still, +say what you will, it's a fine bookcase. + +PISCHIN. [Astonished] A hundred years.... Think of that! + +GAEV. Yes... it's a real thing. [Handling it] My dear and honoured case! +I congratulate you on your existence, which has already for more than +a hundred years been directed towards the bright ideals of good and +justice; your silent call to productive labour has not grown less in the +hundred years [Weeping] during which you have upheld virtue and faith +in a better future to the generations of our race, educating us up +to ideals of goodness and to the knowledge of a common consciousness. +[Pause.] + +LOPAKHIN. Yes.... + +LUBOV. You're just the same as ever, Leon. + +GAEV. [A little confused] Off the white on the right, into the corner +pocket. Red ball goes into the middle pocket! + +LOPAKHIN. [Looks at his watch] It's time I went. + +YASHA. [Giving LUBOV ANDREYEVNA her medicine] Will you take your pills +now? + +PISCHIN. You oughtn't to take medicines, dear madam; they do you neither +harm nor good.... Give them here, dear madam. [Takes the pills, turns +them out into the palm of his hand, blows on them, puts them into his +mouth, and drinks some kvass] There! + +LUBOV. [Frightened] You're off your head! + +PISCHIN. I've taken all the pills. + +LOPAKHIN. Gormandizer! [All laugh.] + +FIERS. They were here in Easter week and ate half a pailful of +cucumbers.... [Mumbles.] + +LUBOV. What's he driving at? + +VARYA. He's been mumbling away for three years. We're used to that. + +YASHA. Senile decay. + +[CHARLOTTA IVANOVNA crosses the stage, dressed in white: she is very +thin and tightly laced; has a lorgnette at her waist.] + +LOPAKHIN. Excuse me, Charlotta Ivanovna, I haven't said "How do you do" +to you yet. [Tries to kiss her hand.] + +CHARLOTTA. [Takes her hand away] If you let people kiss your hand, then +they'll want your elbow, then your shoulder, and then... + +LOPAKHIN. My luck's out to-day! [All laugh] Show us a trick, Charlotta +Ivanovna! + +LUBOV ANDREYEVNA. Charlotta, do us a trick. + +CHARLOTTA. It's not necessary. I want to go to bed. [Exit.] + +LOPAKHIN. We shall see each other in three weeks. [Kisses LUBOV +ANDREYEVNA'S hand] Now, good-bye. It's time to go. [To GAEV] See you +again. [Kisses PISCHIN] Au revoir. [Gives his hand to VARYA, then to +FIERS and to YASHA] I don't want to go away. [To LUBOV ANDREYEVNA]. If +you think about the villas and make up your mind, then just let me +know, and I'll raise a loan of 50,000 roubles at once. Think about it +seriously. + +VARYA. [Angrily] Do go, now! + +LOPAKHIN. I'm going, I'm going.... [Exit.] + +GAEV. Snob. Still, I beg pardon.... Varya's going to marry him, he's +Varya's young man. + +VARYA. Don't talk too much, uncle. + +LUBOV. Why not, Varya? I should be very glad. He's a good man. + +PISCHIN. To speak the honest truth... he's a worthy man.... And my +Dashenka... also says that... she says lots of things. [Snores, but +wakes up again at once] But still, dear madam, if you could lend me... +240 roubles... to pay the interest on my mortgage to-morrow... + +VARYA. [Frightened] We haven't got it, we haven't got it! + +LUBOV. It's quite true. I've nothing at all. + +PISCHIN. I'll find it all right [Laughs] I never lose hope. I used to +think, "Everything's lost now. I'm a dead man," when, lo and behold, a +railway was built over my land... and they paid me for it. And something +else will happen to-day or to-morrow. Dashenka may win 20,000 roubles... +she's got a lottery ticket. + +LUBOV. The coffee's all gone, we can go to bed. + +FIERS. [Brushing GAEV'S trousers; in an insistent tone] You've put on +the wrong trousers again. What am I to do with you? + +VARYA. [Quietly] Anya's asleep. [Opens window quietly] The sun has risen +already; it isn't cold. Look, little mother: what lovely trees! And the +air! The starlings are singing! + +GAEV. [Opens the other window] The whole garden's white. You haven't +forgotten, Luba? There's that long avenue going straight, straight, like +a stretched strap; it shines on moonlight nights. Do you remember? You +haven't forgotten? + +LUBOV. [Looks out into the garden] Oh, my childhood, days of my +innocence! In this nursery I used to sleep; I used to look out from here +into the orchard. Happiness used to wake with me every morning, and then +it was just as it is now; nothing has changed. [Laughs from joy] It's +all, all white! Oh, my orchard! After the dark autumns and the cold +winters, you're young again, full of happiness, the angels of heaven +haven't left you.... If only I could take my heavy burden off my breast +and shoulders, if I could forget my past! + +GAEV. Yes, and they'll sell this orchard to pay off debts. How strange +it seems! + +LUBOV. Look, there's my dead mother going in the orchard... dressed in +white! [Laughs from joy] That's she. + +GAEV. Where? + +VARYA. God bless you, little mother. + +LUBOV. There's nobody there; I thought I saw somebody. On the right, at +the turning by the summer-house, a white little tree bent down, looking +just like a woman. [Enter TROFIMOV in a worn student uniform and +spectacles] What a marvellous garden! White masses of flowers, the blue +sky.... + +TROFIMOV. Lubov Andreyevna! [She looks round at him] I only want to show +myself, and I'll go away. [Kisses her hand warmly] I was told to wait +till the morning, but I didn't have the patience. + +[LUBOV ANDREYEVNA looks surprised.] + +VARYA. [Crying] It's Peter Trofimov. + +TROFIMOV. Peter Trofimov, once the tutor of your Grisha.... Have I +changed so much? + +[LUBOV ANDREYEVNA embraces him and cries softly.] + +GAEV. [Confused] That's enough, that's enough, Luba. + +VARYA. [Weeps] But I told you, Peter, to wait till to-morrow. + +LUBOV. My Grisha... my boy... Grisha... my son. + +VARYA. What are we to do, little mother? It's the will of God. + +TROFIMOV. [Softly, through his tears] It's all right, it's all right. + +LUBOV. [Still weeping] My boy's dead; he was drowned. Why? Why, my +friend? [Softly] Anya's asleep in there. I am speaking so loudly, making +such a noise.... Well, Peter? What's made you look so bad? Why have you +grown so old? + +TROFIMOV. In the train an old woman called me a decayed gentleman. + +LUBOV. You were quite a boy then, a nice little student, and now your +hair is not at all thick and you wear spectacles. Are you really still a +student? [Goes to the door.] + +TROFIMOV. I suppose I shall always be a student. + +LUBOV. [Kisses her brother, then VARYA] Well, let's go to bed.... And +you've grown older, Leonid. + +PISCHIN. [Follows her] Yes, we've got to go to bed.... Oh, my gout! I'll +stay the night here. If only, Lubov Andreyevna, my dear, you could get +me 240 roubles to-morrow morning-- + +GAEV. Still the same story. + +PISCHIN. Two hundred and forty roubles... to pay the interest on the +mortgage. + +LUBOV. I haven't any money, dear man. + +PISCHIN. I'll give it back... it's a small sum.... + +LUBOV. Well, then, Leonid will give it to you.... Let him have it, +Leonid. + +GAEV. By all means; hold out your hand. + +LUBOV. Why not? He wants it; he'll give it back. + +[LUBOV ANDREYEVNA, TROFIMOV, PISCHIN, and FIERS go out. GAEV, VARYA, and +YASHA remain.] + +GAEV. My sister hasn't lost the habit of throwing money about. [To +YASHA] Stand off, do; you smell of poultry. + +YASHA. [Grins] You are just the same as ever, Leonid Andreyevitch. + +GAEV. Really? [To VARYA] What's he saying? + +VARYA. [To YASHA] Your mother's come from the village; she's been +sitting in the servants' room since yesterday, and wants to see you.... + +YASHA. Bless the woman! + +VARYA. Shameless man. + +YASHA. A lot of use there is in her coming. She might have come tomorrow +just as well. [Exit.] + +VARYA. Mother hasn't altered a scrap, she's just as she always was. +She'd give away everything, if the idea only entered her head. + +GAEV. Yes.... [Pause] If there's any illness for which people offer many +remedies, you may be sure that particular illness is incurable, I think. +I work my brains to their hardest. I've several remedies, very many, +and that really means I've none at all. It would be nice to inherit a +fortune from somebody, it would be nice to marry our Anya to a rich +man, it would be nice to go to Yaroslav and try my luck with my aunt the +Countess. My aunt is very, very rich. + +VARYA. [Weeps] If only God helped us. + +GAEV. Don't cry. My aunt's very rich, but she doesn't like us. My +sister, in the first place, married an advocate, not a noble.... [ANYA +appears in the doorway] She not only married a man who was not a noble, +but she behaved herself in a way which cannot be described as proper. +She's nice and kind and charming, and I'm very fond of her, but say what +you will in her favour and you still have to admit that she's wicked; +you can feel it in her slightest movements. + +VARYA. [Whispers] Anya's in the doorway. + +GAEV. Really? [Pause] It's curious, something's got into my right eye... +I can't see properly out of it. And on Thursday, when I was at the +District Court... + +[Enter ANYA.] + +VARYA. Why aren't you in bed, Anya? + +ANYA. Can't sleep. It's no good. + +GAEV. My darling! [Kisses ANYA'S face and hands] My child.... [Crying] +You're not my niece, you're my angel, you're my all.... Believe in me, +believe... + +ANYA. I do believe in you, uncle. Everybody loves you and respects +you... but, uncle dear, you ought to say nothing, no more than that. +What were you saying just now about my mother, your own sister? Why did +you say those things? + +GAEV. Yes, yes. [Covers his face with her hand] Yes, really, it was +awful. Save me, my God! And only just now I made a speech before a +bookcase... it's so silly! And only when I'd finished I knew how silly +it was. + +VARYA. Yes, uncle dear, you really ought to say less. Keep quiet, that's +all. + +ANYA. You'd be so much happier in yourself if you only kept quiet. + +GAEV. All right, I'll be quiet. [Kisses their hands] I'll be quiet. But +let's talk business. On Thursday I was in the District Court, and a lot +of us met there together, and we began to talk of this, that, and the +other, and now I think I can arrange a loan to pay the interest into the +bank. + +VARYA. If only God would help us! + +GAEV. I'll go on Tuesday. I'll talk with them about it again. [To VARYA] +Don't howl. [To ANYA] Your mother will have a talk to Lopakhin; he, of +course, won't refuse... And when you've rested you'll go to Yaroslav to +the Countess, your grandmother. So you see, we'll have three irons in +the fire, and we'll be safe. We'll pay up the interest. I'm certain. +[Puts some sugar-candy into his mouth] I swear on my honour, on anything +you will, that the estate will not be sold! [Excitedly] I swear on my +happiness! Here's my hand. You may call me a dishonourable wretch if I +let it go to auction! I swear by all I am! + +ANYA. [She is calm again and happy] How good and clever you are, uncle. +[Embraces him] I'm happy now! I'm happy! All's well! + +[Enter FIERS.] + +FIERS. [Reproachfully] Leonid Andreyevitch, don't you fear God? When are +you going to bed? + +GAEV. Soon, soon. You go away, Fiers. I'll undress myself. Well, +children, bye-bye...! I'll give you the details to-morrow, but let's go +to bed now. [Kisses ANYA and VARYA] I'm a man of the eighties.... People +don't praise those years much, but I can still say that I've suffered +for my beliefs. The peasants don't love me for nothing, I assure you. +We've got to learn to know the peasants! We ought to learn how.... + +ANYA. You're doing it again, uncle! + +VARYA. Be quiet, uncle! + +FIERS. [Angrily] Leonid Andreyevitch! + +GAEV. I'm coming, I'm coming.... Go to bed now. Off two cushions into +the middle! I turn over a new leaf.... [Exit. FIERS goes out after him.] + +ANYA. I'm quieter now. I don't want to go to Yaroslav, I don't like +grandmother; but I'm calm now; thanks to uncle. [Sits down.] + +VARYA. It's time to go to sleep. I'll go. There's been an unpleasantness +here while you were away. In the old servants' part of the house, as you +know, only the old people live--little old Efim and Polya and Evstigney, +and Karp as well. They started letting some tramps or other spend the +night there--I said nothing. Then I heard that they were saying that I +had ordered them to be fed on peas and nothing else; from meanness, you +see.... And it was all Evstigney's doing.... Very well, I thought, +if that's what the matter is, just you wait. So I call Evstigney.... +[Yawns] He comes. "What's this," I say, "Evstigney, you old fool."... +[Looks at ANYA] Anya dear! [Pause] She's dropped off.... [Takes ANYA'S +arm] Let's go to bye-bye.... Come along!... [Leads her] My darling's +gone to sleep! Come on.... [They go. In the distance, the other side of +the orchard, a shepherd plays his pipe. TROFIMOV crosses the stage and +stops on seeing VARYA and ANYA] Sh! She's asleep, asleep. Come on, dear. + +ANYA. [Quietly, half-asleep] I'm so tired... all the bells... uncle, +dear! Mother and uncle! + +VARYA. Come on, dear, come on! [They go into ANYA'S room.] + +TROFIMOV. [Moved] My sun! My spring! + +Curtain. + + + + +ACT TWO + + +[In a field. An old, crooked shrine, which has been long abandoned; near +it a well and large stones, which apparently are old tombstones, and +an old garden seat. The road is seen to GAEV'S estate. On one side rise +dark poplars, behind them begins the cherry orchard. In the distance +is a row of telegraph poles, and far, far away on the horizon are the +indistinct signs of a large town, which can only be seen on the finest +and clearest days. It is close on sunset. CHARLOTTA, YASHA, and DUNYASHA +are sitting on the seat; EPIKHODOV stands by and plays on a guitar; all +seem thoughtful. CHARLOTTA wears a man's old peaked cap; she has unslung +a rifle from her shoulders and is putting to rights the buckle on the +strap.] + +CHARLOTTA. [Thoughtfully] I haven't a real passport. I don't know how +old I am, and I think I'm young. When I was a little girl my father and +mother used to go round fairs and give very good performances and I used +to do the _salto mortale_ and various little things. And when papa and +mamma died a German lady took me to her and began to teach me. I liked +it. I grew up and became a governess. And where I came from and who +I am, I don't know.... Who my parents were--perhaps they weren't +married--I don't know. [Takes a cucumber out of her pocket and eats] I +don't know anything. [Pause] I do want to talk, but I haven't anybody to +talk to... I haven't anybody at all. + +EPIKHODOV. [Plays on the guitar and sings] + + "What is this noisy earth to me, + What matter friends and foes?" + I do like playing on the mandoline! + +DUNYASHA. That's a guitar, not a mandoline. [Looks at herself in a +little mirror and powders herself.] + +EPIKHODOV. For the enamoured madman, this is a mandoline. [Sings] + + "Oh that the heart was warmed, + By all the flames of love returned!" + +[YASHA sings too.] + +CHARLOTTA. These people sing terribly.... Foo! Like jackals. + +DUNYASHA. [To YASHA] Still, it must be nice to live abroad. + +YASHA. Yes, certainly. I cannot differ from you there. [Yawns and lights +a cigar.] + +EPIKHODOV. That is perfectly natural. Abroad everything is in full +complexity. + +YASHA. That goes without saying. + +EPIKHODOV. I'm an educated man, I read various remarkable books, but I +cannot understand the direction I myself want to go--whether to live +or to shoot myself, as it were. So, in case, I always carry a revolver +about with me. Here it is. [Shows a revolver.] + +CHARLOTTA. I've done. Now I'll go. [Slings the rifle] You, Epikhodov, +are a very clever man and very terrible; women must be madly in love +with you. Brrr! [Going] These wise ones are all so stupid. I've nobody +to talk to. I'm always alone, alone; I've nobody at all... and I don't +know who I am or why I live. [Exit slowly.] + +EPIKHODOV. As a matter of fact, independently of everything else, I must +express my feeling, among other things, that fate has been as pitiless +in her dealings with me as a storm is to a small ship. Suppose, let +us grant, I am wrong; then why did I wake up this morning, to give an +example, and behold an enormous spider on my chest, like that. [Shows +with both hands] And if I do drink some kvass, why is it that there is +bound to be something of the most indelicate nature in it, such as a +beetle? [Pause] Have you read Buckle? [Pause] I should like to trouble +you, Avdotya Fedorovna, for two words. + +DUNYASHA. Say on. + +EPIKHODOV. I should prefer to be alone with you. [Sighs.] + +DUNYASHA. [Shy] Very well, only first bring me my little cloak.... It's +by the cupboard. It's a little damp here. + +EPIKHODOV. Very well... I'll bring it.... Now I know what to do with my +revolver. [Takes guitar and exits, strumming.] + +YASHA. Two-and-twenty troubles! A silly man, between you and me and the +gatepost. [Yawns.] + +DUNYASHA. I hope to goodness he won't shoot himself. [Pause] I'm so +nervous, I'm worried. I went into service when I was quite a little +girl, and now I'm not used to common life, and my hands are white, white +as a lady's. I'm so tender and so delicate now; respectable and afraid +of everything.... I'm so frightened. And I don't know what will happen +to my nerves if you deceive me, Yasha. + +YASHA. [Kisses her] Little cucumber! Of course, every girl must respect +herself; there's nothing I dislike more than a badly behaved girl. + +DUNYASHA. I'm awfully in love with you; you're educated, you can talk +about everything. [Pause.] + +YASHA. [Yawns] Yes. I think this: if a girl loves anybody, then that +means she's immoral. [Pause] It's nice to smoke a cigar out in the open +air.... [Listens] Somebody's coming. It's the mistress, and people with +her. [DUNYASHA embraces him suddenly] Go to the house, as if you'd been +bathing in the river; go by this path, or they'll meet you and will +think I've been meeting you. I can't stand that sort of thing. + +DUNYASHA. [Coughs quietly] My head's aching because of your cigar. + +[Exit. YASHA remains, sitting by the shrine. Enter LUBOV ANDREYEVNA, +GAEV, and LOPAKHIN.] + +LOPAKHIN. You must make up your mind definitely--there's no time to +waste. The question is perfectly plain. Are you willing to let the land +for villas or no? Just one word, yes or no? Just one word! + +LUBOV. Who's smoking horrible cigars here? [Sits.] + +GAEV. They built that railway; that's made this place very handy. [Sits] +Went to town and had lunch... red in the middle! I'd like to go in now +and have just one game. + +LUBOV. You'll have time. + +LOPAKHIN. Just one word! [Imploringly] Give me an answer! + +GAEV. [Yawns] Really! + +LUBOV. [Looks in her purse] I had a lot of money yesterday, but there's +very little to-day. My poor Varya feeds everybody on milk soup to +save money, in the kitchen the old people only get peas, and I spend +recklessly. [Drops the purse, scattering gold coins] There, they are all +over the place. + +YASHA. Permit me to pick them up. [Collects the coins.] + +LUBOV. Please do, Yasha. And why did I go and have lunch there?... A +horrid restaurant with band and tablecloths smelling of soap.... Why +do you drink so much, Leon? Why do you eat so much? Why do you talk so +much? You talked again too much to-day in the restaurant, and it wasn't +at all to the point--about the seventies and about decadents. And to +whom? Talking to the waiters about decadents! + +LOPAKHIN. Yes. + +GAEV. [Waves his hand] I can't be cured, that's obvious.... [Irritably +to YASHA] What's the matter? Why do you keep twisting about in front of +me? + +YASHA. [Laughs] I can't listen to your voice without laughing. + +GAEV. [To his sister] Either he or I... + +LUBOV. Go away, Yasha; get out of this.... + +YASHA. [Gives purse to LUBOV ANDREYEVNA] I'll go at once. [Hardly able +to keep from laughing] This minute.... [Exit.] + +LOPAKHIN. That rich man Deriganov is preparing to buy your estate. They +say he'll come to the sale himself. + +LUBOV. Where did you hear that? + +LOPAKHIN. They say so in town. + +GAEV. Our Yaroslav aunt has promised to send something, but I don't know +when or how much. + +LOPAKHIN. How much will she send? A hundred thousand roubles? Or two, +perhaps? + +LUBOV. I'd be glad of ten or fifteen thousand. + +LOPAKHIN. You must excuse my saying so, but I've never met such +frivolous people as you before, or anybody so unbusinesslike and +peculiar. Here I am telling you in plain language that your estate will +be sold, and you don't seem to understand. + +LUBOV. What are we to do? Tell us, what? + +LOPAKHIN. I tell you every day. I say the same thing every day. Both the +cherry orchard and the land must be leased off for villas and at once, +immediately--the auction is staring you in the face: Understand! Once +you do definitely make up your minds to the villas, then you'll have as +much money as you want and you'll be saved. + +LUBOV. Villas and villa residents--it's so vulgar, excuse me. + +GAEV. I entirely agree with you. + +LOPAKHIN. I must cry or yell or faint. I can't stand it! You're too much +for me! [To GAEV] You old woman! + +GAEV. Really! + +LOPAKHIN. Old woman! [Going out.] + +LUBOV. [Frightened] No, don't go away, do stop; be a dear. Please. +Perhaps we'll find some way out! + +LOPAKHIN. What's the good of trying to think! + +LUBOV. Please don't go away. It's nicer when you're here.... [Pause] +I keep on waiting for something to happen, as if the house is going to +collapse over our heads. + +GAEV. [Thinking deeply] Double in the corner... across the middle.... + +LUBOV. We have been too sinful.... + +LOPAKHIN. What sins have you committed? + +GAEV. [Puts candy into his mouth] They say that I've eaten all my +substance in sugar-candies. [Laughs.] + +LUBOV. Oh, my sins.... I've always scattered money about without holding +myself in, like a madwoman, and I married a man who made nothing but +debts. My husband died of champagne--he drank terribly--and to my +misfortune, I fell in love with another man and went off with him, and +just at that time--it was my first punishment, a blow that hit me right +on the head--here, in the river... my boy was drowned, and I went away, +quite away, never to return, never to see this river again...I shut my +eyes and ran without thinking, but _he_ ran after me... without pity, +without respect. I bought a villa near Mentone because _he_ fell ill +there, and for three years I knew no rest either by day or night; the +sick man wore me out, and my soul dried up. And last year, when they +had sold the villa to pay my debts, I went away to Paris, and there +he robbed me of all I had and threw me over and went off with another +woman. I tried to poison myself.... It was so silly, so shameful.... +And suddenly I longed to be back in Russia, my own land, with my little +girl.... [Wipes her tears] Lord, Lord be merciful to me, forgive me my +sins! Punish me no more! [Takes a telegram out of her pocket] I had +this to-day from Paris.... He begs my forgiveness, he implores me to +return.... [Tears it up] Don't I hear music? [Listens.] + +GAEV. That is our celebrated Jewish band. You remember--four violins, a +flute, and a double-bass. + +LUBOV So it still exists? It would be nice if they came along some +evening. + +LOPAKHIN. [Listens] I can't hear.... [Sings quietly] "For money will the +Germans make a Frenchman of a Russian." [Laughs] I saw such an awfully +funny thing at the theatre last night. + +LUBOV. I'm quite sure there wasn't anything at all funny. You oughtn't +to go and see plays, you ought to go and look at yourself. What a grey +life you lead, what a lot you talk unnecessarily. + +LOPAKHIN. It's true. To speak the straight truth, we live a silly life. +[Pause] My father was a peasant, an idiot, he understood nothing, he +didn't teach me, he was always drunk, and always used a stick on me. In +point of fact, I'm a fool and an idiot too. I've never learned anything, +my handwriting is bad, I write so that I'm quite ashamed before people, +like a pig! + +LUBOV. You ought to get married, my friend. + +LOPAKHIN. Yes... that's true. + +LUBOV. Why not to our Varya? She's a nice girl. + +LOPAKHIN. Yes. + +LUBOV. She's quite homely in her ways, works all day, and, what matters +most, she's in love with you. And you've liked her for a long time. + +LOPAKHIN. Well? I don't mind... she's a nice girl. [Pause.] + +GAEV. I'm offered a place in a bank. Six thousand roubles a year.... Did +you hear? + +LUBOV. What's the matter with you! Stay where you are.... + +[Enter FIERS with an overcoat.] + +FIERS. [To GAEV] Please, sir, put this on, it's damp. + +GAEV. [Putting it on] You're a nuisance, old man. + +FIERS It's all very well.... You went away this morning without telling +me. [Examining GAEV.] + +LUBOV. How old you've grown, Fiers! + +FIERS. I beg your pardon? + +LOPAKHIN. She says you've grown very old! + +FIERS. I've been alive a long time. They were already getting ready +to marry me before your father was born.... [Laughs] And when the +Emancipation came I was already first valet. Only I didn't agree with +the Emancipation and remained with my people.... [Pause] I remember +everybody was happy, but they didn't know why. + +LOPAKHIN. It was very good for them in the old days. At any rate, they +used to beat them. + +FIERS. [Not hearing] Rather. The peasants kept their distance from the +masters and the masters kept their distance from the peasants, but now +everything's all anyhow and you can't understand anything. + +GAEV. Be quiet, Fiers. I've got to go to town tomorrow. I've been +promised an introduction to a General who may lend me money on a bill. + +LOPAKHIN. Nothing will come of it. And you won't pay your interest, +don't you worry. + +LUBOV. He's talking rubbish. There's no General at all. + +[Enter TROFIMOV, ANYA, and VARYA.] + +GAEV. Here they are. + +ANYA. Mother's sitting down here. + +LUBOV. [Tenderly] Come, come, my dears.... [Embracing ANYA and VARYA] If +you two only knew how much I love you. Sit down next to me, like that. +[All sit down.] + +LOPAKHIN. Our eternal student is always with the ladies. + +TROFIMOV. That's not your business. + +LOPAKHIN. He'll soon be fifty, and he's still a student. + +TROFIMOV. Leave off your silly jokes! + +LOPAKHIN. Getting angry, eh, silly? + +TROFIMOV. Shut up, can't you. + +LOPAKHIN. [Laughs] I wonder what you think of me? + +TROFIMOV. I think, Ermolai Alexeyevitch, that you're a rich man, +and you'll soon be a millionaire. Just as the wild beast which eats +everything it finds is needed for changes to take place in matter, so +you are needed too. + +[All laugh.] + +VARYA. Better tell us something about the planets, Peter. + +LUBOV ANDREYEVNA. No, let's go on with yesterday's talk! + +TROFIMOV. About what? + +GAEV. About the proud man. + +TROFIMOV. Yesterday we talked for a long time but we didn't come to +anything in the end. There's something mystical about the proud man, in +your sense. Perhaps you are right from your point of view, but if you +take the matter simply, without complicating it, then what pride can +there be, what sense can there be in it, if a man is imperfectly made, +physiologically speaking, if in the vast majority of cases he is coarse +and stupid and deeply unhappy? We must stop admiring one another. We +must work, nothing more. + +GAEV. You'll die, all the same. + +TROFIMOV. Who knows? And what does it mean--you'll die? Perhaps a man +has a hundred senses, and when he dies only the five known to us are +destroyed and the remaining ninety-five are left alive. + +LUBOV. How clever of you, Peter! + +LOPAKHIN. [Ironically] Oh, awfully! + +TROFIMOV. The human race progresses, perfecting its powers. +Everything that is unattainable now will some day be near at hand and +comprehensible, but we must work, we must help with all our strength +those who seek to know what fate will bring. Meanwhile in Russia only +a very few of us work. The vast majority of those intellectuals whom I +know seek for nothing, do nothing, and are at present incapable of hard +work. They call themselves intellectuals, but they use "thou" and "thee" +to their servants, they treat the peasants like animals, they learn +badly, they read nothing seriously, they do absolutely nothing, about +science they only talk, about art they understand little. They are +all serious, they all have severe faces, they all talk about important +things. They philosophize, and at the same time, the vast majority +of us, ninety-nine out of a hundred, live like savages, fighting and +cursing at the slightest opportunity, eating filthily, sleeping in the +dirt, in stuffiness, with fleas, stinks, smells, moral filth, and so +on... And it's obvious that all our nice talk is only carried on to +distract ourselves and others. Tell me, where are those creches we hear +so much of? and where are those reading-rooms? People only write novels +about them; they don't really exist. Only dirt, vulgarity, and Asiatic +plagues really exist.... I'm afraid, and I don't at all like serious +faces; I don't like serious conversations. Let's be quiet sooner. + +LOPAKHIN. You know, I get up at five every morning, I work from +morning till evening, I am always dealing with money--my own and other +people's--and I see what people are like. You've only got to begin to +do anything to find out how few honest, honourable people there are. +Sometimes, when I can't sleep, I think: "Oh Lord, you've given us huge +forests, infinite fields, and endless horizons, and we, living here, +ought really to be giants." + +LUBOV. You want giants, do you?... They're only good in stories, and +even there they frighten one. [EPIKHODOV enters at the back of the stage +playing his guitar. Thoughtfully:] Epikhodov's there. + +ANYA. [Thoughtfully] Epikhodov's there. + +GAEV. The sun's set, ladies and gentlemen. + +TROFIMOV. Yes. + +GAEV [Not loudly, as if declaiming] O Nature, thou art wonderful, thou +shinest with eternal radiance! Oh, beautiful and indifferent one, thou +whom we call mother, thou containest in thyself existence and death, +thou livest and destroyest.... + +VARYA. [Entreatingly] Uncle, dear! + +ANYA. Uncle, you're doing it again! + +TROFIMOV. You'd better double the red into the middle. + +GAEV. I'll be quiet, I'll be quiet. + +[They all sit thoughtfully. It is quiet. Only the mumbling of FIERS is +heard. Suddenly a distant sound is heard as if from the sky, the sound +of a breaking string, which dies away sadly.] + +LUBOV. What's that? + +LOPAKHIN. I don't know. It may be a bucket fallen down a well somewhere. +But it's some way off. + +GAEV. Or perhaps it's some bird... like a heron. + +TROFIMOV. Or an owl. + +LUBOV. [Shudders] It's unpleasant, somehow. [A pause.] + +FIERS. Before the misfortune the same thing happened. An owl screamed +and the samovar hummed without stopping. + +GAEV. Before what misfortune? + +FIERS. Before the Emancipation. [A pause.] + +LUBOV. You know, my friends, let's go in; it's evening now. [To ANYA] +You've tears in your eyes.... What is it, little girl? [Embraces her.] + +ANYA. It's nothing, mother. + +TROFIMOV. Some one's coming. + +[Enter a TRAMP in an old white peaked cap and overcoat. He is a little +drunk.] + +TRAMP. Excuse me, may I go this way straight through to the station? + +GAEV. You may. Go along this path. + +TRAMP. I thank you from the bottom of my heart. [Hiccups] Lovely +weather.... [Declaims] My brother, my suffering brother.... Come out on +the Volga, you whose groans... [To VARYA] Mademoiselle, please give a +hungry Russian thirty copecks.... + +[VARYA screams, frightened.] + +LOPAKHIN. [Angrily] There's manners everybody's got to keep! + +LUBOV. [With a start] Take this... here you are.... [Feels in her purse] +There's no silver.... It doesn't matter, here's gold. + +TRAMP. I am deeply grateful to you! [Exit. Laughter.] + +VARYA. [Frightened] I'm going, I'm going.... Oh, little mother, at home +there's nothing for the servants to eat, and you gave him gold. + +LUBOV. What is to be done with such a fool as I am! At home I'll give +you everything I've got. Ermolai Alexeyevitch, lend me some more!... + +LOPAKHIN. Very well. + +LUBOV. Let's go, it's time. And Varya, we've settled your affair; I +congratulate you. + +VARYA. [Crying] You shouldn't joke about this, mother. + +LOPAKHIN. Oh, feel me, get thee to a nunnery. + +GAEV. My hands are all trembling; I haven't played billiards for a long +time. + +LOPAKHIN. Oh, feel me, nymph, remember me in thine orisons. + +LUBOV. Come along; it'll soon be supper-time. + +VARYA. He did frighten me. My heart is beating hard. + +LOPAKHIN. Let me remind you, ladies and gentlemen, on August 22 the +cherry orchard will be sold. Think of that!... Think of that!... + +[All go out except TROFIMOV and ANYA.] + +ANYA. [Laughs] Thanks to the tramp who frightened Barbara, we're alone +now. + +TROFIMOV. Varya's afraid we may fall in love with each other and won't +get away from us for days on end. Her narrow mind won't allow her to +understand that we are above love. To escape all the petty and deceptive +things which prevent our being happy and free, that is the aim and +meaning of our lives. Forward! We go irresistibly on to that bright star +which burns there, in the distance! Don't lag behind, friends! + +ANYA. [Clapping her hands] How beautifully you talk! [Pause] It is +glorious here to-day! + +TROFIMOV. Yes, the weather is wonderful. + +ANYA. What have you done to me, Peter? I don't love the cherry orchard +as I used to. I loved it so tenderly, I thought there was no better +place in the world than our orchard. + +TROFIMOV. All Russia is our orchard. The land is great and beautiful, +there are many marvellous places in it. [Pause] Think, Anya, your +grandfather, your great-grandfather, and all your ancestors were +serf-owners, they owned living souls; and now, doesn't something human +look at you from every cherry in the orchard, every leaf and every +stalk? Don't you hear voices...? Oh, it's awful, your orchard is +terrible; and when in the evening or at night you walk through the +orchard, then the old bark on the trees sheds a dim light and the old +cherry-trees seem to be dreaming of all that was a hundred, two hundred +years ago, and are oppressed by their heavy visions. Still, at any +rate, we've left those two hundred years behind us. So far we've gained +nothing at all--we don't yet know what the past is to be to us--we only +philosophize, we complain that we are dull, or we drink vodka. For it's +so clear that in order to begin to live in the present we must first +redeem the past, and that can only be done by suffering, by strenuous, +uninterrupted labour. Understand that, Anya. + +ANYA. The house in which we live has long ceased to be our house; I +shall go away. I give you my word. + +TROFIMOV. If you have the housekeeping keys, throw them down the well +and go away. Be as free as the wind. + +ANYA. [Enthusiastically] How nicely you said that! + +TROFIMOV. Believe me, Anya, believe me! I'm not thirty yet, I'm young, +I'm still a student, but I have undergone a great deal! I'm as hungry +as the winter, I'm ill, I'm shaken. I'm as poor as a beggar, and where +haven't I been--fate has tossed me everywhere! But my soul is always my +own; every minute of the day and the night it is filled with unspeakable +presentiments. I know that happiness is coming, Anya, I see it +already.... + +ANYA. [Thoughtful] The moon is rising. + +[EPIKHODOV is heard playing the same sad song on his guitar. The moon +rises. Somewhere by the poplars VARYA is looking for ANYA and calling, +"Anya, where are you?"] + +TROFIMOV. Yes, the moon has risen. [Pause] There is happiness, there it +comes; it comes nearer and nearer; I hear its steps already. And if we +do not see it we shall not know it, but what does that matter? Others +will see it! + +THE VOICE OF VARYA. Anya! Where are you? + +TROFIMOV. That's Varya again! [Angry] Disgraceful! + +ANYA. Never mind. Let's go to the river. It's nice there. + +TROFIMOV Let's go. [They go out.] + +THE VOICE OF VARYA. Anya! Anya! + +Curtain. + + + + +ACT THREE + + +[A reception-room cut off from a drawing-room by an arch. Chandelier +lighted. A Jewish band, the one mentioned in Act II, is heard playing +in another room. Evening. In the drawing-room the grand rond is being +danced. Voice of SIMEONOV PISCHIN "Promenade a une paire!" Dancers +come into the reception-room; the first pair are PISCHIN and CHARLOTTA +IVANOVNA; the second, TROFIMOV and LUBOV ANDREYEVNA; the third, ANYA and +the POST OFFICE CLERK; the fourth, VARYA and the STATION-MASTER, and +so on. VARYA is crying gently and wipes away her tears as she dances. +DUNYASHA is in the last pair. They go off into the drawing-room, +PISCHIN shouting, "Grand rond, balancez:" and "Les cavaliers a genou +et remerciez vos dames!" FIERS, in a dress-coat, carries a tray with +seltzer-water across. Enter PISCHIN and TROFIMOV from the drawing-room.] + +PISCHIN. I'm full-blooded and have already had two strokes; it's hard +for me to dance, but, as they say, if you're in Rome, you must do as +Rome does. I've got the strength of a horse. My dead father, who liked +a joke, peace to his bones, used to say, talking of our ancestors, +that the ancient stock of the Simeonov-Pischins was descended from that +identical horse that Caligula made a senator.... [Sits] But the trouble +is, I've no money! A hungry dog only believes in meat. [Snores and wakes +up again immediately] So I... only believe in money.... + +TROFIMOV. Yes. There is something equine about your figure. + +PISCHIN. Well... a horse is a fine animal... you can sell a horse. + +[Billiard playing can be heard in the next room. VARYA appears under the +arch.] + +TROFIMOV. [Teasing] Madame Lopakhin! Madame Lopakhin! + +VARYA. [Angry] Decayed gentleman! + +TROFIMOV. Yes, I am a decayed gentleman, and I'm proud of it! + +VARYA. [Bitterly] We've hired the musicians, but how are they to be +paid? [Exit.] + +TROFIMOV. [To PISCHIN] If the energy which you, in the course of your +life, have spent in looking for money to pay interest had been used +for something else, then, I believe, after all, you'd be able to turn +everything upside down. + +PISCHIN. Nietzsche... a philosopher... a very great, a most celebrated +man... a man of enormous brain, says in his books that you can forge +bank-notes. + +TROFIMOV. And have you read Nietzsche? + +PISCHIN. Well... Dashenka told me. Now I'm in such a position, I +wouldn't mind forging them... I've got to pay 310 roubles the day after +to-morrow... I've got 130 already.... [Feels his pockets, nervously] +I've lost the money! The money's gone! [Crying] Where's the money? +[Joyfully] Here it is behind the lining... I even began to perspire. + +[Enter LUBOV ANDREYEVNA and CHARLOTTA IVANOVNA.] + +LUBOV. [Humming a Caucasian dance] Why is Leonid away so long? What's he +doing in town? [To DUNYASHA] Dunyasha, give the musicians some tea. + +TROFIMOV. Business is off, I suppose. + +LUBOV. And the musicians needn't have come, and we needn't have got up +this ball.... Well, never mind.... [Sits and sings softly.] + +CHARLOTTA. [Gives a pack of cards to PISCHIN] Here's a pack of cards, +think of any one card you like. + +PISCHIN. I've thought of one. + +CHARLOTTA. Now shuffle. All right, now. Give them here, oh my dear +Mr. Pischin. _Ein, zwei, drei_! Now look and you'll find it in your +coat-tail pocket. + +PISCHIN. [Takes a card out of his coat-tail pocket] Eight of spades, +quite right! [Surprised] Think of that now! + +CHARLOTTA. [Holds the pack of cards on the palm of her hand. To +TROFIMOV] Now tell me quickly. What's the top card? + +TROFIMOV. Well, the queen of spades. + +CHARLOTTA. Right! [To PISCHIN] Well now? What card's on top? + +PISCHIN. Ace of hearts. + +CHARLOTTA. Right! [Claps her hands, the pack of cards vanishes] How +lovely the weather is to-day. [A mysterious woman's voice answers her, +as if from under the floor, "Oh yes, it's lovely weather, madam."] You +are so beautiful, you are my ideal. [Voice, "You, madam, please me very +much too."] + +STATION-MASTER. [Applauds] Madame ventriloquist, bravo! + +PISCHIN. [Surprised] Think of that, now! Delightful, Charlotte +Ivanovna... I'm simply in love.... + +CHARLOTTA. In love? [Shrugging her shoulders] Can you love? _Guter +Mensch aber schlechter Musikant_. + +TROFIMOV. [Slaps PISCHIN on the shoulder] Oh, you horse! + +CHARLOTTA. Attention please, here's another trick. [Takes a shawl from a +chair] Here's a very nice plaid shawl, I'm going to sell it.... [Shakes +it] Won't anybody buy it? + +PISCHIN. [Astonished] Think of that now! + +CHARLOTTA. _Ein, zwei, drei_. + +[She quickly lifts up the shawl, which is hanging down. ANYA is standing +behind it; she bows and runs to her mother, hugs her and runs back to +the drawing-room amid general applause.] + +LUBOV. [Applauds] Bravo, bravo! + +CHARLOTTA. Once again! _Ein, zwei, drei_! + +[Lifts the shawl. VARYA stands behind it and bows.] + +PISCHIN. [Astonished] Think of that, now. + +CHARLOTTA. The end! + +[Throws the shawl at PISCHIN, curtseys and runs into the drawing-room.] + +PISCHIN. [Runs after her] Little wretch.... What? Would you? [Exit.] + +LUBOV. Leonid hasn't come yet. I don't understand what he's doing so +long in town! Everything must be over by now. The estate must be sold; +or, if the sale never came off, then why does he stay so long? + +VARYA. [Tries to soothe her] Uncle has bought it. I'm certain of it. + +TROFIMOV. [Sarcastically] Oh, yes! + +VARYA. Grandmother sent him her authority for him to buy it in her name +and transfer the debt to her. She's doing it for Anya. And I'm certain +that God will help us and uncle will buy it. + +LUBOV. Grandmother sent fifteen thousand roubles from Yaroslav to buy +the property in her name--she won't trust us--and that wasn't even +enough to pay the interest. [Covers her face with her hands] My fate +will be settled to-day, my fate.... + +TROFIMOV. [Teasing VARYA] Madame Lopakhin! + +VARYA. [Angry] Eternal student! He's already been expelled twice from +the university. + +LUBOV. Why are you getting angry, Varya? He's teasing you about +Lopakhin, well what of it? You can marry Lopakhin if you want to, he's a +good, interesting man.... You needn't if you don't want to; nobody wants +to force you against your will, my darling. + +VARYA. I do look at the matter seriously, little mother, to be quite +frank. He's a good man, and I like him. + +LUBOV. Then marry him. I don't understand what you're waiting for. + +VARYA. I can't propose to him myself, little mother. People have been +talking about him to me for two years now, but he either says nothing, +or jokes about it. I understand. He's getting rich, he's busy, he can't +bother about me. If I had some money, even a little, even only a hundred +roubles, I'd throw up everything and go away. I'd go into a convent. + +TROFIMOV. How nice! + +VARYA. [To TROFIMOV] A student ought to have sense! [Gently, in tears] +How ugly you are now, Peter, how old you've grown! [To LUBOV ANDREYEVNA, +no longer crying] But I can't go on without working, little mother. I +want to be doing something every minute. + +[Enter YASHA.] + +YASHA. [Nearly laughing] Epikhodov's broken a billiard cue! [Exit.] + +VARYA. Why is Epikhodov here? Who said he could play billiards? I don't +understand these people. [Exit.] + +LUBOV. Don't tease her, Peter, you see that she's quite unhappy without +that. + +TROFIMOV. She takes too much on herself, she keeps on interfering in +other people's business. The whole summer she's given no peace to me or +to Anya, she's afraid we'll have a romance all to ourselves. What has it +to do with her? As if I'd ever given her grounds to believe I'd stoop to +such vulgarity! We are above love. + +LUBOV. Then I suppose I must be beneath love. [In agitation] Why isn't +Leonid here? If I only knew whether the estate is sold or not! The +disaster seems to me so improbable that I don't know what to think, I'm +all at sea... I may scream... or do something silly. Save me, Peter. Say +something, say something. + +TROFIMOV. Isn't it all the same whether the estate is sold to-day or +isn't? It's been all up with it for a long time; there's no turning +back, the path's grown over. Be calm, dear, you shouldn't deceive +yourself, for once in your life at any rate you must look the truth +straight in the face. + +LUBOV. What truth? You see where truth is, and where untruth is, but +I seem to have lost my sight and see nothing. You boldly settle all +important questions, but tell me, dear, isn't it because you're young, +because you haven't had time to suffer till you settled a single one +of your questions? You boldly look forward, isn't it because you cannot +foresee or expect anything terrible, because so far life has been hidden +from your young eyes? You are bolder, more honest, deeper than we are, +but think only, be just a little magnanimous, and have mercy on me. I +was born here, my father and mother lived here, my grandfather too, +I love this house. I couldn't understand my life without that cherry +orchard, and if it really must be sold, sell me with it! [Embraces +TROFIMOV, kisses his forehead]. My son was drowned here.... [Weeps] Have +pity on me, good, kind man. + +TROFIMOV. You know I sympathize with all my soul. + +LUBOV. Yes, but it ought to be said differently, differently.... [Takes +another handkerchief, a telegram falls on the floor] I'm so sick at +heart to-day, you can't imagine. Here it's so noisy, my soul shakes at +every sound. I shake all over, and I can't go away by myself, I'm afraid +of the silence. Don't judge me harshly, Peter... I loved you, as if you +belonged to my family. I'd gladly let Anya marry you, I swear it, only +dear, you ought to work, finish your studies. You don't do anything, +only fate throws you about from place to place, it's so odd.... Isn't it +true? Yes? And you ought to do something to your beard to make it grow +better [Laughs] You are funny! + +TROFIMOV. [Picking up telegram] I don't want to be a Beau Brummel. + +LUBOV. This telegram's from Paris. I get one every day. Yesterday and +to-day. That wild man is ill again, he's bad again.... He begs for +forgiveness, and implores me to come, and I really ought to go to Paris +to be near him. You look severe, Peter, but what can I do, my dear, what +can I do; he's ill, he's alone, unhappy, and who's to look after +him, who's to keep him away from his errors, to give him his medicine +punctually? And why should I conceal it and say nothing about it; I love +him, that's plain, I love him, I love him.... That love is a stone round +my neck; I'm going with it to the bottom, but I love that stone and +can't live without it. [Squeezes TROFIMOV'S hand] Don't think badly of +me, Peter, don't say anything to me, don't say... + +TROFIMOV. [Weeping] For God's sake forgive my speaking candidly, but +that man has robbed you! + +LUBOV. No, no, no, you oughtn't to say that! [Stops her ears.] + +TROFIMOV. But he's a wretch, you alone don't know it! He's a petty +thief, a nobody.... + +LUBOV. [Angry, but restrained] You're twenty-six or twenty-seven, and +still a schoolboy of the second class! + +TROFIMOV. Why not! + +LUBOV. You ought to be a man, at your age you ought to be able to +understand those who love. And you ought to be in love yourself, you +must fall in love! [Angry] Yes, yes! You aren't pure, you're just a +freak, a queer fellow, a funny growth... + +TROFIMOV. [In horror] What is she saying! + +LUBOV. "I'm above love!" You're not above love, you're just what our +Fiers calls a bungler. Not to have a mistress at your age! + +TROFIMOV. [In horror] This is awful! What is she saying? [Goes quickly +up into the drawing-room, clutching his head] It's awful... I can't +stand it, I'll go away. [Exit, but returns at once] All is over between +us! [Exit.] + +LUBOV. [Shouts after him] Peter, wait! Silly man, I was joking! Peter! +[Somebody is heard going out and falling downstairs noisily. ANYA and +VARYA scream; laughter is heard immediately] What's that? + +[ANYA comes running in, laughing.] + +ANYA. Peter's fallen downstairs! [Runs out again.] + +LUBOV. This Peter's a marvel. + +[The STATION-MASTER stands in the middle of the drawing-room and recites +"The Magdalen" by Tolstoy. He is listened to, but he has only delivered +a few lines when a waltz is heard from the front room, and the +recitation is stopped. Everybody dances. TROFIMOV, ANYA, VARYA, and +LUBOV ANDREYEVNA come in from the front room.] + +LUBOV. Well, Peter... you pure soul... I beg your pardon... let's dance. + +[She dances with PETER. ANYA and VARYA dance. FIERS enters and stands +his stick by a side door. YASHA has also come in and looks on at the +dance.] + +YASHA. Well, grandfather? + +FIERS. I'm not well. At our balls some time back, generals and barons +and admirals used to dance, and now we send for post-office clerks and +the Station-master, and even they come as a favour. I'm very weak. The +dead master, the grandfather, used to give everybody sealing-wax when +anything was wrong. I've taken sealing-wax every day for twenty years, +and more; perhaps that's why I still live. + +YASHA. I'm tired of you, grandfather. [Yawns] If you'd only hurry up and +kick the bucket. + +FIERS. Oh you... bungler! [Mutters.] + +[TROFIMOV and LUBOV ANDREYEVNA dance in the reception-room, then into +the sitting-room.] + +LUBOV. _Merci_. I'll sit down. [Sits] I'm tired. + +[Enter ANYA.] + +ANYA. [Excited] Somebody in the kitchen was saying just now that the +cherry orchard was sold to-day. + +LUBOV. Sold to whom? + +ANYA. He didn't say to whom. He's gone now. [Dances out into the +reception-room with TROFIMOV.] + +YASHA. Some old man was chattering about it a long time ago. A stranger! + +FIERS. And Leonid Andreyevitch isn't here yet, he hasn't come. He's +wearing a light, _demi-saison_ overcoat. He'll catch cold. Oh these +young fellows. + +LUBOV. I'll die of this. Go and find out, Yasha, to whom it's sold. + +YASHA. Oh, but he's been gone a long time, the old man. [Laughs.] + +LUBOV. [Slightly vexed] Why do you laugh? What are you glad about? + +YASHA. Epikhodov's too funny. He's a silly man. Two-and-twenty troubles. + +LUBOV. Fiers, if the estate is sold, where will you go? + +FIERS. I'll go wherever you order me to go. + +LUBOV. Why do you look like that? Are you ill? I think you ought to go +to bed.... + +FIERS. Yes... [With a smile] I'll go to bed, and who'll hand things +round and give orders without me? I've the whole house on my shoulders. + +YASHA. [To LUBOV ANDREYEVNA] Lubov Andreyevna! I want to ask a favour of +you, if you'll be so kind! If you go to Paris again, then please take +me with you. It's absolutely impossible for me to stop here. [Looking +round; in an undertone] What's the good of talking about it, you see for +yourself that this is an uneducated country, with an immoral population, +and it's so dull. The food in the kitchen is beastly, and here's this +Fiers walking about mumbling various inappropriate things. Take me with +you, be so kind! + +[Enter PISCHIN.] + +PISCHIN. I come to ask for the pleasure of a little waltz, dear lady.... +[LUBOV ANDREYEVNA goes to him] But all the same, you wonderful woman, +I must have 180 little roubles from you... I must.... [They dance] 180 +little roubles.... [They go through into the drawing-room.] + +YASHA. [Sings softly] "Oh, will you understand + My soul's deep restlessness?" + +[In the drawing-room a figure in a grey top-hat and in baggy check +trousers is waving its hands and jumping about; there are cries of +"Bravo, Charlotta Ivanovna!"] + +DUNYASHA. [Stops to powder her face] The young mistress tells me to +dance--there are a lot of gentlemen, but few ladies--and my head +goes round when I dance, and my heart beats, Fiers Nicolaevitch; the +Post-office clerk told me something just now which made me catch my +breath. [The music grows faint.] + +FIERS. What did he say to you? + +DUNYASHA. He says, "You're like a little flower." + +YASHA. [Yawns] Impolite.... [Exit.] + +DUNYASHA. Like a little flower. I'm such a delicate girl; I simply love +words of tenderness. + +FIERS. You'll lose your head. + +[Enter EPIKHODOV.] + +EPIKHODOV. You, Avdotya Fedorovna, want to see me no more than if I was +some insect. [Sighs] Oh, life! + +DUNYASHA. What do you want? + +EPIKHODOV. Undoubtedly, perhaps, you may be right. [Sighs] But, +certainly, if you regard the matter from the aspect, then you, if I may +say so, and you must excuse my candidness, have absolutely reduced me to +a state of mind. I know my fate, every day something unfortunate happens +to me, and I've grown used to it a long time ago, I even look at my fate +with a smile. You gave me your word, and though I... + +DUNYASHA. Please, we'll talk later on, but leave me alone now. I'm +meditating now. [Plays with her fan.] + +EPIKHODOV. Every day something unfortunate happens to me, and I, if I +may so express myself, only smile, and even laugh. + +[VARYA enters from the drawing-room.] + +VARYA. Haven't you gone yet, Simeon? You really have no respect for +anybody. [To DUNYASHA] You go away, Dunyasha. [To EPIKHODOV] You play +billiards and break a cue, and walk about the drawing-room as if you +were a visitor! + +EPIKHODOV. You cannot, if I may say so, call me to order. + +VARYA. I'm not calling you to order, I'm only telling you. You just walk +about from place to place and never do your work. Goodness only knows +why we keep a clerk. + +EPIKHODOV. [Offended] Whether I work, or walk about, or eat, or play +billiards, is only a matter to be settled by people of understanding and +my elders. + +VARYA. You dare to talk to me like that! [Furious] You dare? You mean +that I know nothing? Get out of here! This minute! + +EPIKHODOV. [Nervous] I must ask you to express yourself more delicately. + +VARYA. [Beside herself] Get out this minute. Get out! [He goes to the +door, she follows] Two-and-twenty troubles! I don't want any sign of you +here! I don't want to see anything of you! [EPIKHODOV has gone out; his +voice can be heard outside: "I'll make a complaint against you."] What, +coming back? [Snatches up the stick left by FIERS by the door] Go... +go... go, I'll show you.... Are you going? Are you going? Well, then +take that. [She hits out as LOPAKHIN enters.] + +LOPAKHIN. Much obliged. + +VARYA. [Angry but amused] I'm sorry. + +LOPAKHIN. Never mind. I thank you for my pleasant reception. + +VARYA. It isn't worth any thanks. [Walks away, then looks back and asks +gently] I didn't hurt you, did I? + +LOPAKHIN. No, not at all. There'll be an enormous bump, that's all. + +VOICES FROM THE DRAWING-ROOM. Lopakhin's returned! Ermolai Alexeyevitch! + +PISCHIN. Now we'll see what there is to see and hear what there is to +hear... [Kisses LOPAKHIN] You smell of cognac, my dear, my soul. And +we're all having a good time. + +[Enter LUBOV ANDREYEVNA.] + +LUBOV. Is that you, Ermolai Alexeyevitch? Why were you so long? Where's +Leonid? + +LOPAKHIN. Leonid Andreyevitch came back with me, he's coming.... + +LUBOV. [Excited] Well, what? Is it sold? Tell me? + +LOPAKHIN. [Confused, afraid to show his pleasure] The sale ended up at +four o'clock.... We missed the train, and had to wait till half-past +nine. [Sighs heavily] Ooh! My head's going round a little. + +[Enter GAEV; in his right hand he carries things he has bought, with his +left he wipes away his tears.] + +LUBOV. Leon, what's happened? Leon, well? [Impatiently, in tears] Quick, +for the love of God.... + +GAEV. [Says nothing to her, only waves his hand; to FIERS, weeping] +Here, take this.... Here are anchovies, herrings from Kertch.... +I've had no food to-day.... I have had a time! [The door from the +billiard-room is open; the clicking of the balls is heard, and YASHA'S +voice, "Seven, eighteen!" GAEV'S expression changes, he cries no more] +I'm awfully tired. Help me change my clothes, Fiers. + +[Goes out through the drawing-room; FIERS after him.] + +PISCHIN. What happened? Come on, tell us! + +LUBOV. Is the cherry orchard sold? + +LOPAKHIN. It is sold. + +LUBOV. Who bought it? + +LOPAKHIN. I bought it. + +[LUBOV ANDREYEVNA is overwhelmed; she would fall if she were not +standing by an armchair and a table. VARYA takes her keys off her belt, +throws them on the floor, into the middle of the room and goes out.] + +LOPAKHIN. I bought it! Wait, ladies and gentlemen, please, my head's +going round, I can't talk.... [Laughs] When we got to the sale, +Deriganov was there already. Leonid Andreyevitch had only fifteen +thousand roubles, and Deriganov offered thirty thousand on top of the +mortgage to begin with. I saw how matters were, so I grabbed hold of +him and bid forty. He went up to forty-five, I offered fifty-five. That +means he went up by fives and I went up by tens.... Well, it came to +an end. I bid ninety more than the mortgage; and it stayed with me. The +cherry orchard is mine now, mine! [Roars with laughter] My God, my God, +the cherry orchard's mine! Tell me I'm drunk, or mad, or dreaming.... +[Stamps his feet] Don't laugh at me! If my father and grandfather rose +from their graves and looked at the whole affair, and saw how their +Ermolai, their beaten and uneducated Ermolai, who used to run barefoot +in the winter, how that very Ermolai has bought an estate, which is +the most beautiful thing in the world! I've bought the estate where my +grandfather and my father were slaves, where they weren't even allowed +into the kitchen. I'm asleep, it's only a dream, an illusion.... It's +the fruit of imagination, wrapped in the fog of the unknown.... [Picks +up the keys, nicely smiling] She threw down the keys, she wanted to show +she was no longer mistress here.... [Jingles keys] Well, it's all one! +[Hears the band tuning up] Eh, musicians, play, I want to hear you! Come +and look at Ermolai Lopakhin laying his axe to the cherry orchard, +come and look at the trees falling! We'll build villas here, and our +grandsons and great-grandsons will see a new life here.... Play on, +music! [The band plays. LUBOV ANDREYEVNA sinks into a chair and weeps +bitterly. LOPAKHIN continues reproachfully] Why then, why didn't you +take my advice? My poor, dear woman, you can't go back now. [Weeps] Oh, +if only the whole thing was done with, if only our uneven, unhappy life +were changed! + +PISCHIN. [Takes his arm; in an undertone] She's crying. Let's go into +the drawing-room and leave her by herself... come on.... [Takes his arm +and leads him out.] + +LOPAKHIN. What's that? Bandsmen, play nicely! Go on, do just as I want +you to! [Ironically] The new owner, the owner of the cherry orchard is +coming! [He accidentally knocks up against a little table and nearly +upsets the candelabra] I can pay for everything! [Exit with PISCHIN] + +[In the reception-room and the drawing-room nobody remains except LUBOV +ANDREYEVNA, who sits huddled up and weeping bitterly. The band plays +softly. ANYA and TROFIMOV come in quickly. ANYA goes up to her +mother and goes on her knees in front of her. TROFIMOV stands at the +drawing-room entrance.] + +ANYA. Mother! mother, are you crying? My dear, kind, good mother, my +beautiful mother, I love you! Bless you! The cherry orchard is sold, +we've got it no longer, it's true, true, but don't cry mother, you've +still got your life before you, you've still your beautiful pure soul... +Come with me, come, dear, away from here, come! We'll plant a new +garden, finer than this, and you'll see it, and you'll understand, and +deep joy, gentle joy will sink into your soul, like the evening sun, and +you'll smile, mother! Come, dear, let's go! + +Curtain. + + + + +ACT FOUR + + +[The stage is set as for Act I. There are no curtains on the windows, no +pictures; only a few pieces of furniture are left; they are piled up in +a corner as if for sale. The emptiness is felt. By the door that +leads out of the house and at the back of the stage, portmanteaux and +travelling paraphernalia are piled up. The door on the left is open; the +voices of VARYA and ANYA can be heard through it. LOPAKHIN stands and +waits. YASHA holds a tray with little tumblers of champagne. Outside, +EPIKHODOV is tying up a box. Voices are heard behind the stage. The +peasants have come to say good-bye. The voice of GAEV is heard: "Thank +you, brothers, thank you."] + +YASHA. The common people have come to say good-bye. I am of the +opinion, Ermolai Alexeyevitch, that they're good people, but they don't +understand very much. + +[The voices die away. LUBOV ANDREYEVNA and GAEV enter. She is not crying +but is pale, and her face trembles; she can hardly speak.] + +GAEV. You gave them your purse, Luba. You can't go on like that, you +can't! + +LUBOV. I couldn't help myself, I couldn't! [They go out.] + +LOPAKHIN. [In the doorway, calling after them] Please, I ask you most +humbly! Just a little glass to say good-bye. I didn't remember to bring +any from town and I only found one bottle at the station. Please, do! +[Pause] Won't you really have any? [Goes away from the door] If I only +knew--I wouldn't have bought any. Well, I shan't drink any either. +[YASHA carefully puts the tray on a chair] You have a drink, Yasha, at +any rate. + +YASHA. To those departing! And good luck to those who stay behind! +[Drinks] I can assure you that this isn't real champagne. + +LOPAKHIN. Eight roubles a bottle. [Pause] It's devilish cold here. + +YASHA. There are no fires to-day, we're going away. [Laughs] + +LOPAKHIN. What's the matter with you? + +YASHA. I'm just pleased. + +LOPAKHIN. It's October outside, but it's as sunny and as quiet as if +it were summer. Good for building. [Looking at his watch and speaking +through the door] Ladies and gentlemen, please remember that it's only +forty-seven minutes till the train goes! You must go off to the station +in twenty minutes. Hurry up. + +[TROFIMOV, in an overcoat, comes in from the grounds.] + +TROFIMOV. I think it's time we went. The carriages are waiting. Where +the devil are my goloshes? They're lost. [Through the door] Anya, I +can't find my goloshes! I can't! + +LOPAKHIN. I've got to go to Kharkov. I'm going in the same train as you. +I'm going to spend the whole winter in Kharkov. I've been hanging about +with you people, going rusty without work. I can't live without working. +I must have something to do with my hands; they hang about as if they +weren't mine at all. + +TROFIMOV. We'll go away now and then you'll start again on your useful +labours. + +LOPAKHIN. Have a glass. + +TROFIMOV. I won't. + +LOPAKHIN. So you're off to Moscow now? + +TROFIMOV Yes. I'll see them into town and to-morrow I'm off to Moscow. + +LOPAKHIN. Yes.... I expect the professors don't lecture nowadays; +they're waiting till you turn up! + +TROFIMOV. That's not your business. + +LOPAKHIN. How many years have you been going to the university? + +TROFIMOV. Think of something fresh. This is old and flat. [Looking for +his goloshes] You know, we may not meet each other again, so just let me +give you a word of advice on parting: "Don't wave your hands about! Get +rid of that habit of waving them about. And then, building villas and +reckoning on their residents becoming freeholders in time--that's the +same thing; it's all a matter of waving your hands about.... Whether +I want to or not, you know, I like you. You've thin, delicate fingers, +like those of an artist, and you've a thin, delicate soul...." + +LOPAKHIN. [Embraces him] Good-bye, dear fellow. Thanks for all you've +said. If you want any, take some money from me for the journey. + +TROFIMOV. Why should I? I don't want it. + +LOPAKHIN. But you've nothing! + +TROFIMOV. Yes, I have, thank you; I've got some for a translation. Here +it is in my pocket. [Nervously] But I can't find my goloshes! + +VARYA. [From the other room] Take your rubbish away! [Throws a pair of +rubber goloshes on to the stage.] + +TROFIMOV. Why are you angry, Varya? Hm! These aren't my goloshes! + +LOPAKHIN. In the spring I sowed three thousand acres of poppies, and now +I've made forty thousand roubles net profit. And when my poppies were +in flower, what a picture it was! So I, as I was saying, made forty +thousand roubles, and I mean I'd like to lend you some, because I can +afford it. Why turn up your nose at it? I'm just a simple peasant.... + +TROFIMOV. Your father was a peasant, mine was a chemist, and that means +absolutely nothing. [LOPAKHIN takes out his pocket-book] No, no.... +Even if you gave me twenty thousand I should refuse. I'm a free man. And +everything that all you people, rich and poor, value so highly and so +dearly hasn't the least influence over me; it's like a flock of down in +the wind. I can do without you, I can pass you by. I'm strong and proud. +Mankind goes on to the highest truths and to the highest happiness such +as is only possible on earth, and I go in the front ranks! + +LOPAKHIN. Will you get there? + +TROFIMOV. I will. [Pause] I'll get there and show others the way. [Axes +cutting the trees are heard in the distance.] + +LOPAKHIN. Well, good-bye, old man. It's time to go. Here we stand +pulling one another's noses, but life goes its own way all the time. +When I work for a long time, and I don't get tired, then I think more +easily, and I think I get to understand why I exist. And there are so +many people in Russia, brother, who live for nothing at all. Still, work +goes on without that. Leonid Andreyevitch, they say, has accepted a post +in a bank; he will get sixty thousand roubles a year.... But he won't +stand it; he's very lazy. + +ANYA. [At the door] Mother asks if you will stop them cutting down the +orchard until she has gone away. + +TROFIMOV. Yes, really, you ought to have enough tact not to do that. +[Exit.] + +LOPAKHIN, All right, all right... yes, he's right. [Exit.] + +ANYA. Has Fiers been sent to the hospital? + +YASHA. I gave the order this morning. I suppose they've sent him. + +ANYA. [To EPIKHODOV, who crosses the room] Simeon Panteleyevitch, please +make inquiries if Fiers has been sent to the hospital. + +YASHA. [Offended] I told Egor this morning. What's the use of asking ten +times! + +EPIKHODOV. The aged Fiers, in my conclusive opinion, isn't worth +mending; his forefathers had better have him. I only envy him. [Puts +a trunk on a hat-box and squashes it] Well, of course. I thought so! +[Exit.] + +YASHA. [Grinning] Two-and-twenty troubles. + +VARYA. [Behind the door] Has Fiers been taken away to the hospital? + +ANYA. Yes. + +VARYA. Why didn't they take the letter to the doctor? + +ANYA. It'll have to be sent after him. [Exit.] + +VARYA. [In the next room] Where's Yasha? Tell him his mother's come and +wants to say good-bye to him. + +YASHA. [Waving his hand] She'll make me lose all patience! + +[DUNYASHA has meanwhile been bustling round the luggage; now that YASHA +is left alone, she goes up to him.] + +DUNYASHA. If you only looked at me once, Yasha. You're going away, +leaving me behind. + +[Weeps and hugs him round the neck.] + +YASHA. What's the use of crying? [Drinks champagne] In six days I'll be +again in Paris. To-morrow we get into the express and off we go. I can +hardly believe it. Vive la France! It doesn't suit me here, I can't live +here... it's no good. Well, I've seen the uncivilized world; I have had +enough of it. [Drinks champagne] What do you want to cry for? You behave +yourself properly, and then you won't cry. + +DUNYASHA. [Looks in a small mirror and powders her face] Send me a +letter from Paris. You know I loved you, Yasha, so much! I'm a sensitive +creature, Yasha. + +YASHA. Somebody's coming. + +[He bustles around the luggage, singing softly. Enter LUBOV ANDREYEVNA, +GAEV, ANYA, and CHARLOTTA IVANOVNA.] + +GAEV. We'd better be off. There's no time left. [Looks at YASHA] +Somebody smells of herring! + +LUBOV. We needn't get into our carriages for ten minutes.... [Looks +round the room] Good-bye, dear house, old grandfather. The winter will +go, the spring will come, and then you'll exist no more, you'll be +pulled down. How much these walls have seen! [Passionately kisses her +daughter] My treasure, you're radiant, your eyes flash like two jewels! +Are you happy? Very? + +ANYA. Very! A new life is beginning, mother! + +GAEV. [Gaily] Yes, really, everything's all right now. Before the cherry +orchard was sold we all were excited and we suffered, and then, when +the question was solved once and for all, we all calmed down, and even +became cheerful. I'm a bank official now, and a financier... red in the +middle; and you, Luba, for some reason or other, look better, there's no +doubt about it. + +LUBOV Yes. My nerves are better, it's true. [She puts on her coat and +hat] I sleep well. Take my luggage out, Yasha. It's time. [To ANYA] My +little girl, we'll soon see each other again.... I'm off to Paris. I'll +live there on the money your grandmother from Yaroslav sent along to buy +the estate--bless her!--though it won't last long. + +ANYA. You'll come back soon, soon, mother, won't you? I'll get ready, +and pass the exam at the Higher School, and then I'll work and help +you. We'll read all sorts of books to one another, won't we? [Kisses +her mother's hands] We'll read in the autumn evenings; we'll read +many books, and a beautiful new world will open up before us.... +[Thoughtfully] You'll come, mother.... + +LUBOV. I'll come, my darling. [Embraces her.] + +[Enter LOPAKHIN. CHARLOTTA is singing to herself.] + +GAEV. Charlotta is happy; she sings! + +CHARLOTTA. [Takes a bundle, looking like a wrapped-up baby] My little +baby, bye-bye. [The baby seems to answer, "Oua! Oua!"] Hush, my nice +little boy. ["Oua! Oua!"] I'm so sorry for you! [Throws the bundle back] +So please find me a new place. I can't go on like this. + +LOPAKHIN. We'll find one, Charlotta Ivanovna, don't you be afraid. + +GAEV. Everybody's leaving us. Varya's going away... we've suddenly +become unnecessary. + +CHARLOTTA. I've nowhere to live in town. I must go away. [Hums] Never +mind. + +[Enter PISCHIN.] + +LOPAKHIN. Nature's marvel! + +PISCHIN. [Puffing] Oh, let me get my breath back.... I'm fagged out... +My most honoured, give me some water.... + +GAEV. Come for money, what? I'm your humble servant, and I'm going out +of the way of temptation. [Exit.] + +PISCHIN. I haven't been here for ever so long... dear madam. [To +LOPAKHIN] You here? Glad to see you... man of immense brain... take +this... take it.... [Gives LOPAKHIN money] Four hundred roubles.... That +leaves 840.... + +LOPAKHIN. [Shrugs his shoulders in surprise] As if I were dreaming. +Where did you get this from? + +PISCHIN. Stop... it's hot.... A most unexpected thing happened. Some +Englishmen came along and found some white clay on my land.... [To LUBOV +ANDREYEVNA] And here's four hundred for you... beautiful lady.... [Gives +her money] Give you the rest later.... [Drinks water] Just now a young +man in the train was saying that some great philosopher advises us all +to jump off roofs. "Jump!" he says, and that's all. [Astonished] To +think of that, now! More water! + +LOPAKHIN. Who were these Englishmen? + +PISCHIN. I've leased off the land with the clay to them for twenty-four +years.... Now, excuse me, I've no time.... I must run off.... I must +go to Znoikov and to Kardamonov... I owe them all money.... [Drinks] +Good-bye. I'll come in on Thursday. + +LUBOV. We're just off to town, and to-morrow I go abroad. + +PISCHIN. [Agitated] What? Why to town? I see furniture... trunks.... +Well, never mind. [Crying] Never mind. These Englishmen are men of +immense intellect.... Never mind.... Be happy.... God will help you.... +Never mind.... Everything in this world comes to an end.... [Kisses +LUBOV ANDREYEVNA'S hand] And if you should happen to hear that my end +has come, just remember this old... horse and say: "There was one +such and such a Simeonov-Pischin, God bless his soul...." Wonderful +weather... yes.... [Exit deeply moved, but returns at once and says in +the door] Dashenka sent her love! [Exit.] + +LUBOV. Now we can go. I've two anxieties, though. The first is poor +Fiers [Looks at her watch] We've still five minutes.... + +ANYA. Mother, Fiers has already been sent to the hospital. Yasha sent +him off this morning. + +LUBOV. The second is Varya. She's used to getting up early and to work, +and now she's no work to do she's like a fish out of water. She's grown +thin and pale, and she cries, poor thing.... [Pause] You know very well, +Ermolai Alexeyevitch, that I used to hope to marry her to you, and I +suppose you are going to marry somebody? [Whispers to ANYA, who nods to +CHARLOTTA, and they both go out] She loves you, she's your sort, and I +don't understand, I really don't, why you seem to be keeping away from +each other. I don't understand! + +LOPAKHIN. To tell the truth, I don't understand it myself. It's all so +strange.... If there's still time, I'll be ready at once... Let's get it +over, once and for all; I don't feel as if I could ever propose to her +without you. + +LUBOV. Excellent. It'll only take a minute. I'll call her. + +LOPAKHIN. The champagne's very appropriate. [Looking at the tumblers] +They're empty, somebody's already drunk them. [YASHA coughs] I call that +licking it up.... + +LUBOV. [Animated] Excellent. We'll go out. Yasha, allez. I'll call her +in.... [At the door] Varya, leave that and come here. Come! [Exit with +YASHA.] + +LOPAKHIN. [Looks at his watch] Yes.... [Pause.] + +[There is a restrained laugh behind the door, a whisper, then VARYA +comes in.] + +VARYA. [Looking at the luggage in silence] I can't seem to find it.... + +LOPAKHIN. What are you looking for? + +VARYA. I packed it myself and I don't remember. [Pause.] + +LOPAKHIN. Where are you going to now, Barbara Mihailovna? + +VARYA. I? To the Ragulins.... I've got an agreement to go and look after +their house... as housekeeper or something. + +LOPAKHIN. Is that at Yashnevo? It's about fifty miles. [Pause] So life +in this house is finished now.... + +VARYA. [Looking at the luggage] Where is it?... perhaps I've put it away +in the trunk.... Yes, there'll be no more life in this house.... + +LOPAKHIN. And I'm off to Kharkov at once... by this train. I've a lot of +business on hand. I'm leaving Epikhodov here... I've taken him on. + +VARYA. Well, well! + +LOPAKHIN. Last year at this time the snow was already falling, if you +remember, and now it's nice and sunny. Only it's rather cold.... There's +three degrees of frost. + +VARYA. I didn't look. [Pause] And our thermometer's broken.... [Pause.] + +VOICE AT THE DOOR. Ermolai Alexeyevitch! + +LOPAKHIN. [As if he has long been waiting to be called] This minute. +[Exit quickly.] + +[VARYA, sitting on the floor, puts her face on a bundle of clothes and +weeps gently. The door opens. LUBOV ANDREYEVNA enters carefully.] + +LUBOV. Well? [Pause] We must go. + +VARYA. [Not crying now, wipes her eyes] Yes, it's quite time, little +mother. I'll get to the Ragulins to-day, if I don't miss the train.... + +LUBOV. [At the door] Anya, put on your things. [Enter ANYA, then GAEV, +CHARLOTTA IVANOVNA. GAEV wears a warm overcoat with a cape. A servant +and drivers come in. EPIKHODOV bustles around the luggage] Now we can go +away. + +ANYA. [Joyfully] Away! + +GAEV. My friends, my dear friends! Can I be silent, in leaving this +house for evermore?--can I restrain myself, in saying farewell, from +expressing those feelings which now fill my whole being...? + +ANYA. [Imploringly] Uncle! + +VARYA. Uncle, you shouldn't! + +GAEV. [Stupidly] Double the red into the middle.... I'll be quiet. + +[Enter TROFIMOV, then LOPAKHIN.] + +TROFIMOV. Well, it's time to be off. + +LOPAKHIN. Epikhodov, my coat! + +LUBOV. I'll sit here one more minute. It's as if I'd never really +noticed what the walls and ceilings of this house were like, and now I +look at them greedily, with such tender love.... + +GAEV. I remember, when I was six years old, on Trinity Sunday, I sat at +this window and looked and saw my father going to church.... + +LUBOV. Have all the things been taken away? + +LOPAKHIN. Yes, all, I think. [To EPIKHODOV, putting on his coat] You see +that everything's quite straight, Epikhodov. + +EPIKHODOV. [Hoarsely] You may depend upon me, Ermolai Alexeyevitch! + +LOPAKHIN. What's the matter with your voice? + +EPIKHODOV. I swallowed something just now; I was having a drink of +water. + +YASHA. [Suspiciously] What manners.... + +LUBOV. We go away, and not a soul remains behind. + +LOPAKHIN. Till the spring. + +VARYA. [Drags an umbrella out of a bundle, and seems to be waving it +about. LOPAKHIN appears to be frightened] What are you doing?... I never +thought... + +TROFIMOV. Come along, let's take our seats... it's time! The train will +be in directly. + +VARYA. Peter, here they are, your goloshes, by that trunk. [In tears] +And how old and dirty they are.... + +TROFIMOV. [Putting them on] Come on! + +GAEV. [Deeply moved, nearly crying] The train... the station.... Cross +in the middle, a white double in the corner.... + +LUBOV. Let's go! + +LOPAKHIN. Are you all here? There's nobody else? [Locks the side-door on +the left] There's a lot of things in there. I must lock them up. Come! + +ANYA. Good-bye, home! Good-bye, old life! + +TROFIMOV. Welcome, new life! [Exit with ANYA.] + +[VARYA looks round the room and goes out slowly. YASHA and CHARLOTTA, +with her little dog, go out.] + +LOPAKHIN. Till the spring, then! Come on... till we meet again! [Exit.] + +[LUBOV ANDREYEVNA and GAEV are left alone. They might almost have been +waiting for that. They fall into each other's arms and sob restrainedly +and quietly, fearing that somebody might hear them.] + +GAEV. [In despair] My sister, my sister.... + +LUBOV. My dear, my gentle, beautiful orchard! My life, my youth, my +happiness, good-bye! Good-bye! + +ANYA'S VOICE. [Gaily] Mother! + +TROFIMOV'S VOICE. [Gaily, excited] Coo-ee! + +LUBOV. To look at the walls and the windows for the last time.... My +dead mother used to like to walk about this room.... + +GAEV. My sister, my sister! + +ANYA'S VOICE. Mother! + +TROFIMOV'S VOICE. Coo-ee! + +LUBOV. We're coming! [They go out.] + +[The stage is empty. The sound of keys being turned in the locks is +heard, and then the noise of the carriages going away. It is quiet. Then +the sound of an axe against the trees is heard in the silence sadly and +by itself. Steps are heard. FIERS comes in from the door on the right. +He is dressed as usual, in a short jacket and white waistcoat; slippers +on his feet. He is ill. He goes to the door and tries the handle.] + +FIERS. It's locked. They've gone away. [Sits on a sofa] They've +forgotten about me.... Never mind, I'll sit here.... And Leonid +Andreyevitch will have gone in a light overcoat instead of putting on +his fur coat.... [Sighs anxiously] I didn't see.... Oh, these young +people! [Mumbles something that cannot be understood] Life's gone on as +if I'd never lived. [Lying down] I'll lie down.... You've no strength +left in you, nothing left at all.... Oh, you... bungler! + +[He lies without moving. The distant sound is heard, as if from the sky, +of a breaking string, dying away sadly. Silence follows it, and only the +sound is heard, some way away in the orchard, of the axe falling on the +trees.] + +Curtain. + + + + + +End of Project Gutenberg's Plays by Chekhov, Second Series, by Anton Chekhov + +*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK PLAYS BY CHEKHOV, SECOND SERIES *** + +***** This file should be named 7986.txt or 7986.zip ***** +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: + http://www.gutenberg.org/7/9/8/7986/ + +Produced by James Rusk and Nicole Apostola + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: Plays by Chekhov, Second Series + On the High Road, The Proposal, The Wedding, The Bear, A + Tragedian In Spite of Himself, The Anniversary, The Three + Sisters, The Cherry Orchard + +Author: Anton Chekhov + +Release Date: August 8, 2009 [EBook #7986] +Last Updated: September 10, 2016 + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: UTF-8 + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK PLAYS BY CHEKHOV, SECOND SERIES *** + + + + +Produced by James Rusk, Nicole Apostola, and David Widger + + + + + + +</pre> + + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <h1> + PLAYS BY ANTON CHEKHOV,<br /> SECOND SERIES + </h1> + <h2> + By Anton Chekhov + </h2> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <h3> + Translated, with an Introduction, by Julius West + </h3> + <h5> + [The First Series Plays have been previously published<br /> by Project + Gutenberg in etext numbers: 1753 through 1756] + </h5> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <blockquote> + <p class="toc"> + <big><b>CONTENTS</b></big> + </p> + <p> + <br /> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2H_INTR"> INTRODUCTION </a> + </p> + <p> + <br /> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2H_4_0002"> <b>ON THE HIGH ROAD</b> </a> + </p> + <p> + <br /> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2H_4_0003"> <b>THE PROPOSAL</b> </a> + </p> + <p> + <br /> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2H_4_0004"> <b>THE WEDDING</b> </a> + </p> + <p> + <br /> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2H_4_0005"> <b>THE BEAR</b> </a> + </p> + <p> + <br /> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2H_4_0006"> <b>A TRAGEDIAN IN SPITE OF HIMSELF</b> </a> + </p> + <p> + <br /> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2H_4_0007"> <b>THE ANNIVERSARY</b> </a> + </p> + <p> + <br /> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2H_4_0008"> <b>THE THREE SISTERS</b> </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2H_4_0009"> ACT I </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2H_4_0010"> ACT II </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2H_4_0011"> ACT III </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2H_4_0012"> ACT IV </a> + </p> + <p> + <br /> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2H_4_0013"> <b>THE CHERRY ORCHARD</b> </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2H_4_0014"> ACT ONE </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2H_4_0015"> ACT TWO </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2H_4_0016"> ACT THREE </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2H_4_0017"> ACT FOUR </a> + </p> + </blockquote> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <br /> <br /> <a name="link2H_INTR" id="link2H_INTR"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <h2> + INTRODUCTION + </h2> + <p> + The last few years have seen a large and generally unsystematic mass of + translations from the Russian flung at the heads and hearts of English + readers. The ready acceptance of Chekhov has been one of the few + successful features of this irresponsible output. He has been welcomed by + British critics with something like affection. Bernard Shaw has several + times remarked: “Every time I see a play by Chekhov, I want to chuck all + my own stuff into the fire.” Others, having no such valuable property to + sacrifice on the altar of Chekhov, have not hesitated to place him side by + side with Ibsen, and the other established institutions of the new + theatre. For these reasons it is pleasant to be able to chronicle the fact + that, by way of contrast with the casual treatment normally handed out to + Russian authors, the publishers are issuing the complete dramatic works of + this author. In 1912 they brought out a volume containing four Chekhov + plays, translated by Marian Fell. All the dramatic works not included in + her volume are to be found in the present one. With the exception of + Chekhov’s masterpiece, “The Cherry Orchard” (translated by the late Mr. + George Calderon in 1912), none of these plays have been previously + published in book form in England or America. + </p> + <p> + It is not the business of a translator to attempt to outdo all others in + singing the praises of his raw material. This is a dangerous process and + may well lead, as it led Mr. Calderon, to drawing the reader’s attention + to points of beauty not to be found in the original. A few bibliographical + details are equally necessary, and permissible, and the elementary + principles of Chekhov criticism will also be found useful. + </p> + <p> + The very existence of “The High Road” (1884); probably the earliest of its + author’s plays, will be unsuspected by English readers. During Chekhov’s + lifetime it a sort of family legend, after his death it became a family + mystery. A copy was finally discovered only last year in the Censor’s + office, yielded up, and published. It had been sent in 1885 under the + nom-de-plume “A. Chekhonte,” and it had failed to pass. The Censor, of the + time being had scrawled his opinion on the manuscript, “a depressing and + dirty piece,—cannot be licensed.” The name of the gentleman who held + this view—Kaiser von Kugelgen—gives another reason for the + educated Russian’s low opinion of German-sounding institutions. Baron von + Tuzenbach, the satisfactory person in “The Three Sisters,” it will be + noted, finds it as well, while he is trying to secure the favours of + Irina, to declare that his German ancestry is fairly remote. This is by + way of parenthesis. “The High Road,” found after thirty years, is a most + interesting document to the lover of Chekhov. Every play he wrote in later + years was either a one-act farce or a four-act drama. [Note: “The Swan + Song” may occur as an exception. This, however, is more of a Shakespeare + recitation than anything else, and so neither here nor there.] + </p> + <p> + In “The High Road” we see, in an embryonic form, the whole later method of + the plays—the deliberate contrast between two strong characters + (Bortsov and Merik in this case), the careful individualization of each + person in a fairly large group by way of an introduction to the main + theme, the concealment of the catastrophe, germ-wise, in the actual + character of the characters, and the of a distinctive group-atmosphere. It + need scarcely be stated that “The High Road” is not a “dirty” piece + according to Russian or to German standards; Chekhov was incapable of + writing a dirty play or story. For the rest, this piece differs from the + others in its presentation, not of Chekhov’s favourite middle-classes, but + of the moujik, nourishing, in a particularly stuffy atmosphere, an intense + mysticism and an equally intense thirst for vodka. + </p> + <p> + “The Proposal” (1889) and “The Bear” (1890) may be taken as good examples + of the sort of humour admired by the average Russian. The latter play, in + another translation, was put on as a curtain-raiser to a cinematograph + entertainment at a London theatre in 1914; and had quite a pleasant + reception from a thoroughly Philistine audience. The humour is very nearly + of the variety most popular over here, the psychology is a shade subtler. + The Russian novelist or dramatist takes to psychology as some of his + fellow-countrymen take to drink; in doing this he achieves fame by showing + us what we already know, and at the same time he kills his own creative + power. Chekhov just escaped the tragedy of suicide by introspection, and + was only enabled to do this by the possession of a sense of humour. That + is why we should not regard “The Bear,” “The Wedding,” or “The + Anniversary” as the work of a merely humorous young man, but as the saving + graces which made perfect “The Cherry Orchard.” + </p> + <p> + “The Three Sisters” (1901) is said to act better than any other of + Chekhov’s plays, and should surprise an English audience exceedingly. It + and “The Cherry Orchard” are the tragedies of doing nothing. The three + sisters have only one desire in the world, to go to Moscow and live there. + There is no reason on earth, economic, sentimental, or other, why they + should not pack their bags and take the next train to Moscow. But they + will not do it. They cannot do it. And we know perfectly well that if they + were transplanted thither miraculously, they would be extremely unhappy as + soon as ever the excitement of the miracle had worn off. In the other play + Mme. Ranevsky can be saved from ruin if she will only consent to a + perfectly simple step—the sale of an estate. She cannot do this, is + ruined, and thrown out into the unsympathetic world. Chekhov is the + dramatist, not of action, but of inaction. The tragedy of inaction is as + overwhelming, when we understand it, as the tragedy of an Othello, or a + Lear, crushed by the wickedness of others. The former is being enacted + daily, but we do not stage it, we do not know how. But who shall deny that + the base of almost all human unhappiness is just this inaction, + manifesting itself in slovenliness of thought and execution, education, + and ideal? + </p> + <p> + The Russian, painfully conscious of his own weakness, has accepted this + point of view, and regards “The Cherry Orchard” as its master-study in + dramatic form. They speak of the palpitating hush which fell upon the + audience of the Moscow Art Theatre after the first fall of the curtain at + the first performance—a hush so intense as to make Chekhov’s friends + undergo the initial emotions of assisting at a vast theatrical failure. + But the silence ryes almost a sob, to be followed, when overcome, by an + epic applause. And, a few months later, Chekhov died. + </p> + <p> + This volume and that of Marian Fell—with which it is uniform—contain + all the dramatic works of Chekhov. It considered not worth while to + translate a few fragments published posthumously, or a monologue “On the + Evils of Tobacco”—a half humorous lecture by “the husband of his + wife;” which begins “Ladies, and in some respects, gentlemen,” as this is + hardly dramatic work. There is also a very short skit on the efficiency of + provincial fire brigades, which was obviously not intended for the stage + and has therefore been omitted. + </p> + <p> + Lastly, the scheme of transliteration employed has been that, generally + speaking, recommended by the Liverpool School of Russian Studies. This is + distinctly the best of those in the field, but as it would compel one, + e.g., to write a popular female name, “Marya,” I have not treated it + absolute respect. For the sake of uniformity with Fell’s volume, the + author’s name is spelt Tchekoff on the title-page and cover. + </p> + <p> + J. W. <br /> <br /> + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <br /> <br /> RUSSIAN WEIGHTS AND MEASURES AND MONEY EMPLOYED IN THE PLAYS, + WITH ENGLISH EQUIVALENTS + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + 1 verst = 3600 feet = 2/3 mile (almost) + 1 arshin = 28 inches + 1 dessiatin = 2.7 acres + 1 copeck = 1/4 d + 1 rouble = 100 copecks = 2s. 1d. +</pre> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div class="play"> + <a name="link2H_4_0002" id="link2H_4_0002"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + ON THE HIGH ROAD + </h2> + <h3> + A DRAMATIC STUDY + </h3> + CHARACTERS +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + TIHON EVSTIGNEYEV, the proprietor of a inn on the main road + SEMYON SERGEYEVITCH BORTSOV, a ruined landowner + MARIA EGOROVNA, his wife + SAVVA, an aged pilgrim + NAZAROVNA and EFIMOVNA, women pilgrims + FEDYA, a labourer + EGOR MERIK, a tramp + KUSMA, a driver + POSTMAN + BORTSOV’S WIFE’S COACHMAN + PILGRIMS, CATTLE-DEALERS, ETC. +</pre> + <p> + The action takes place in one of the provinces of Southern Russia + </p> + <p> + [The scene is laid in TIHON’S bar. On the right is the bar-counter and + shelves with bottles. At the back is a door leading out of the house. + Over it, on the outside, hangs a dirty red lantern. The floor and the + forms, which stand against the wall, are closely occupied by pilgrims + and passers-by. Many of them, for lack of space, are sleeping as they + sit. It is late at night. As the curtain rises thunder is heard, and + lightning is seen through the door.] + </p> + <p> + [TIHON is behind the counter. FEDYA is half-lying in a heap on one of + the forms, and is quietly playing on a concertina. Next to him is + BORTSOV, wearing a shabby summer overcoat. SAVVA, NAZAROVNA, and + EFIMOVNA are stretched out on the floor by the benches.] + </p> + <p> + EFIMOVNA. [To NAZAROVNA] Give the old man a nudge dear! Can’t get any + answer out of him. + </p> + <p> + NAZAROVNA. [Lifting the corner of a cloth covering of SAVVA’S face] Are + you alive or are you dead, you holy man? + </p> + <p> + SAVVA. Why should I be dead? I’m alive, mother! [Raises himself on his + elbow] Cover up my feet, there’s a saint! That’s it. A bit more on the + right one. That’s it, mother. God be good to us. + </p> + <p> + NAZAROVNA. [Wrapping up SAVVA’S feet] Sleep, little father. + </p> + <p> + SAVVA. What sleep can I have? If only I had the patience to endure this + pain, mother; sleep’s quite another matter. A sinner doesn’t deserve to + be given rest. What’s that noise, pilgrim-woman? + </p> + <p> + NAZAROVNA. God is sending a storm. The wind is wailing, and the rain is + pouring down, pouring down. All down the roof and into the windows like + dried peas. Do you hear? The windows of heaven are opened... [Thunder] + Holy, holy, holy... + </p> + <p> + FEDYA. And it roars and thunders, and rages, sad there’s no end to it! + Hoooo... it’s like the noise of a forest.... Hoooo.... The wind is + wailing like a dog.... [Shrinking back] It’s cold! My clothes are wet, + it’s all coming in through the open door... you might put me through a + wringer.... [Plays softly] My concertina’s damp, and so there’s no music + for you, my Orthodox brethren, or else I’d give you such a concert, my + word!—Something marvellous! You can have a quadrille, or a polka, + if you like, or some Russian dance for two.... I can do them all. In the + town, where I was an attendant at the Grand Hotel, I couldn’t make any + money, but I did wonders on my concertina. And, I can play the guitar. + </p> + <p> + A VOICE FROM THE CORNER. A silly speech from a silly fool. + </p> + <p> + FEDYA. I can hear another of them. [Pause.] + </p> + <p> + NAZAROVNA. [To SAVVA] If you’d only lie where it was warm now, old man, + and warm your feet. [Pause.] Old man! Man of God! [Shakes SAVVA] Are you + going to die? + </p> + <p> + FEDYA. You ought to drink a little vodka, grandfather. Drink, and it’ll + burn, burn in your stomach, and warm up your heart. Drink, do! + </p> + <p> + NAZAROVNA. Don’t swank, young man! Perhaps the old man is giving back + his soul to God, or repenting for his sins, and you talk like that, and + play your concertina.... Put it down! You’ve no shame! + </p> + <p> + FEDYA. And what are you sticking to him for? He can’t do anything and + you... with your old women’s talk... He can’t say a word in reply, and + you’re glad, and happy because he’s listening to your nonsense.... You + go on sleeping, grandfather; never mind her! Let her talk, don’t you + take any notice of her. A woman’s tongue is the devil’s broom—it + will sweep the good man and the clever man both out of the house. Don’t + you mind.... [Waves his hands] But it’s thin you are, brother of mine! + Terrible! Like a dead skeleton! No life in you! Are you really dying? + </p> + <p> + SAVVA. Why should I die? Save me, O Lord, from dying in vain.... I’ll + suffer a little, and then get up with God’s help.... The Mother of God + won’t let me die in a strange land.... I’ll die at home. + </p> + <p> + FEDYA. Are you from far off? + </p> + <p> + SAVVA. From Vologda. The town itself.... I live there. + </p> + <p> + FEDYA. And where is this Vologda? + </p> + <p> + TIHON. The other side of Moscow.... + </p> + <p> + FEDYA. Well, well, well.... You have come a long way, old man! On foot? + </p> + <p> + SAVVA. On foot, young man. I’ve been to Tihon of the Don, and I’m going + to the Holy Hills. [Note: On the Donetz, south-east of Kharkov; a + monastery containing a miraculous ikon.]... From there, if God wills it, + to Odessa.... They say you can get to Jerusalem cheap from there, for + twenty-ones roubles, they say.... + </p> + <p> + FEDYA. And have you been to Moscow? + </p> + <p> + SAVVA. Rather! Five times.... + </p> + <p> + FEDYA. Is it a good town? [Smokes] Well-standing? + </p> + <p> + Sews. There are many holy places there, young man.... Where there are + many holy places it’s always a good town.... + </p> + <p> + BORTSOV. [Goes up to the counter, to TIHON] Once more, please! For the + sake of Christ, give it to me! + </p> + <p> + FEDYA. The chief thing about a town is that it should be clean. If it’s + dusty, it must be watered; if it’s dirty, it must be cleaned. There + ought to be big houses... a theatre... police... cabs, which... I’ve + lived in a town myself, I understand. + </p> + <p> + BORTSOV. Just a little glass. I’ll pay you for it later. + </p> + <p> + TIHON. That’s enough now. + </p> + <p> + BORTSOV. I ask you! Do be kind to me! + </p> + <p> + TIHON. Get away! + </p> + <p> + BORTSOV. You don’t understand me.... Understand me, you fool, if there’s + a drop of brain in your peasant’s wooden head, that it isn’t I who am + asking you, but my inside, using the words you understand, that’s what’s + asking! My illness is what’s asking! Understand! + </p> + <p> + TIHON. We don’t understand anything.... Get back! + </p> + <p> + BORTSOV. Because if I don’t have a drink at once, just you understand + this, if I don’t satisfy my needs, I may commit some crime. God only + knows what I might do! In the time you’ve kept this place, you rascal, + haven’t you seen a lot of drunkards, and haven’t you yet got to + understand what they’re like? They’re diseased! You can do anything you + like to them, but you must give them vodka! Well, now, I implore you! + Please! I humbly ask you! God only knows how humbly! + </p> + <p> + TIHON. You can have the vodka if you pay for it. + </p> + <p> + BORTSOV. Where am I to get the money? I’ve drunk it all! Down to the + ground! What can I give you? I’ve only got this coat, but I can’t give + you that. I’ve nothing on underneath.... Would you like my cap? [Takes + it off and gives it to TIHON] + </p> + <p> + TIHON. [Looks it over] Hm.... There are all sorts of caps.... It might + be a sieve from the holes in it.... + </p> + <p> + FEDYA. [Laughs] A gentleman’s cap! You’ve got to take it off in front of + the mam’selles. How do you do, good-bye! How are you? + </p> + <p> + TIHON. [Returns the cap to BORTSOV] I wouldn’t give anything for it. + It’s muck. + </p> + <p> + BORTSOV. If you don’t like it, then let me owe you for the drink! I’ll + bring in your five copecks on my way back from town. You can take it and + choke yourself with it then! Choke yourself! I hope it sticks in your + throat! [Coughs] I hate you! + </p> + <p> + TIHON. [Banging the bar-counter with his fist] Why do you keep on like + that? What a man! What are you here for, you swindler? + </p> + <p> + BORTSOV. I want a drink! It’s not I, it’s my disease! Understand that! + </p> + <p> + TIHON. Don’t you make me lose my temper, or you’ll soon find yourself + outside! + </p> + <p> + BORTSOV. What am I to do? [Retires from the bar-counter] What am I to + do? [Is thoughtful.] + </p> + <p> + EFIMOVNA. It’s the devil tormenting you. Don’t you mind him, sir. The + damned one keeps whispering, “Drink! Drink!” And you answer him, “I + shan’t drink! I shan’t drink!” He’ll go then. + </p> + <p> + FEDYA. It’s drumming in his head.... His stomach’s leading him on! + [Laughs] Your houour’s a happy man. Lie down and go to sleep! What’s the + use of standing like a scarecrow in the middle of the inn! This isn’t an + orchard! + </p> + <p> + BORTSOV. [Angrily] Shut up! Nobody spoke to you, you donkey. + </p> + <p> + FEDYA. Go on, go on! We’ve seen the like of you before! There’s a lot + like you tramping the high road! As to being a donkey, you wait till + I’ve given you a clout on the ear and you’ll howl worse than the wind. + Donkey yourself! Fool! [Pause] Scum! + </p> + <p> + NAZAROVNA. The old man may be saying a prayer, or giving up his soul to + God, and here are these unclean ones wrangling with one another and + saying all sorts of... Have shame on yourselves! + </p> + <p> + FEDYA. Here, you cabbage-stalk, you keep quiet, even if you are in a + public-house. Just you behave like everybody else. + </p> + <p> + BORTSOV. What am I to do? What will become of me? How can I make him + understand? What else can I say to him? [To TIHON] The blood’s boiling + in my chest! Uncle Tihon! [Weeps] Uncle Tihon! + </p> + <p> + SAWA. [Groans] I’ve got shooting-pains in my leg, like bullets of + fire.... Little mother, pilgrim. + </p> + <p> + EFIMOVNA. What is it, little father? + </p> + <p> + SAVVA. Who’s that crying? + </p> + <p> + EFIMOVNA. The gentleman. + </p> + <p> + SAVVA. Ask him to shed a tear for me, that I might die in Vologda. + Tearful prayers are heard. + </p> + <p> + BORTSOV. I’m not praying, grandfather! These aren’t tears! Just juice! + My soul is crushed; and the juice is running. [Sits by SAVVA] Juice! But + you wouldn’t understand! You, with your darkened brain, wouldn’t + understand. You people are all in the dark! + </p> + <p> + SAVVA. Where will you find those who live in the light? + </p> + <p> + BORTSOV. They do exist, grandfather.... They would understand! + </p> + <p> + SAVVA. Yes, yes, dear friend.... The saints lived in the light.... They + understood all our griefs.... You needn’t even tell them.... and they’ll + understand.... Just by looking at your eyes.... And then you’ll have + such peace, as if you were never in grief at all—it will all go! + </p> + <p> + FEDYA. And have you ever seen any saints? + </p> + <p> + SAVVA. It has happened, young man.... There are many of all sorts on + this earth. Sinners, and servants of God. + </p> + <p> + BORTSOV. I don’t understand all this.... [Gets up quickly] What’s the + use of talking when you don’t understand, and what sort of a brain have + I now? I’ve only an instinct, a thirst! [Goes quickly to the counter] + Tihon, take my coat! Understand? [Tries to take it off] My coat... + </p> + <p> + TIHON. And what is there under your coat? [Looks under it] Your naked + body? Don’t take it off, I shan’t have it.... I’m not going to burden my + soul with a sin. + </p> + <p> + [Enter MERIK.] + </p> + <p> + BORTSOV. Very well, I’ll take the sin on myself! Do you agree? + </p> + <p> + MERIK. [In silence takes of his outer cloak and remains in a sleeveless + jacket. He carries an axe in his belt] A vagrant may sweat where a bear + will freeze. I am hot. [Puts his axe on the floor and takes off his + jacket] You get rid of a pailful of sweat while you drag one leg out of + the mud. And while you are dragging it out, the other one goes farther + in. + </p> + <p> + EFIMOVNA. Yes, that’s true... is the rain stopping, dear? + </p> + <p> + MERIK. [Glancing at EFIMOVNA] I don’t talk to old women. [A pause.] + </p> + <p> + BORTSOV. [To TIHON] I’ll take the sin on myself. Do you hear me or don’t + you? + </p> + <p> + TIHON. I don’t want to hear you, get away! + </p> + <p> + MERIK. It’s as dark as if the sky was painted with pitch. You can’t see + your own nose. And the rain beats into your face like a snowstorm! + [Picks up his clothes and axe.] + </p> + <p> + FEDYA. It’s a good thing for the likes of us thieves. When the cat’s + away the mice will play. + </p> + <p> + MERIK. Who says that? + </p> + <p> + FEDYA. Look and see... before you forget. + </p> + <p> + MERIN. We’ll make a note of it.... [Goes up to TIHON] How do you do, you + with the large face! Don’t you remember me. + </p> + <p> + TIHON. If I’m to remember every one of you drunkards that walks the high + road, I reckon I’d need ten holes in my forehead. + </p> + <p> + MERIK. Just look at me.... [A pause.] + </p> + <p> + TIHON. Oh, yes; I remember. I knew you by your eyes! [Gives him his + hand] Andrey Polikarpov? + </p> + <p> + MERIK. I used to be Andrey Polikarpov, but now I am Egor Merik. + </p> + <p> + TIHON. Why’s that? + </p> + <p> + MERIK. I call myself after whatever passport God gives me. I’ve been + Merik for two months. [Thunder] Rrrr.... Go on thundering, I’m not + afraid! [Looks round] Any police here? + </p> + <p> + TIHON. What are you talking about, making mountains out of + mole-hills?... The people here are all right... The police are fast + asleep in their feather beds now.... [Loudly] Orthodox brothers, mind + your pockets and your clothes, or you’ll have to regret it. The man’s a + rascal! He’ll rob you! + </p> + <p> + MERIK. They can look out for their money, but as to their clothes—I + shan’t touch them. I’ve nowhere to take them. + </p> + <p> + TIHON. Where’s the devil taking you to? + </p> + <p> + MERIK. To Kuban. + </p> + <p> + TIHON. My word! + </p> + <p> + FEDYA. To Kuban? Really? [Sitting up] It’s a fine place. You wouldn’t + see such a country, brother, if you were to fall asleep and dream for + three years. They say the birds there, and the beasts are—my God! + The grass grows all the year round, the people are good, and they’ve so + much land they don’t know what to do with it! The authorities, they + say... a soldier was telling me the other day... give a hundred + dessiatins ahead. There’s happiness, God strike me! + </p> + <p> + MERIK. Happiness.... Happiness goes behind you.... You don’t see it. + It’s as near as your elbow is, but you can’t bite it. It’s all silly.... + [Looking round at the benches and the people] Like a lot of + prisoners.... A poor lot. + </p> + <p> + EFIMOVNA. [To MERIK] What great, angry, eyes! There’s an enemy in you, + young man.... Don’t you look at us! + </p> + <p> + MERIK. Yes, you’re a poor lot here. + </p> + <p> + EFIMOVNA. Turn away! [Nudges SAVVA] Savva, darling, a wicked man is + looking at us. He’ll do us harm, dear. [To MERIK] Turn away, I tell you, + you snake! + </p> + <p> + SAVVA. He won’t touch us, mother, he won’t touch us.... God won’t let + him. + </p> + <p> + MERIK. All right, Orthodox brothers! [Shrugs his shoulders] Be quiet! + You aren’t asleep, you bandy-legged fools! Why don’t you say something? + </p> + <p> + EFIMOVNA. Take your great eyes away! Take away that devil’s own pride! + </p> + <p> + MERIK. Be quiet, you crooked old woman! I didn’t come with the devil’s + pride, but with kind words, wishing to honour your bitter lot! You’re + huddled together like flies because of the cold—I’d be sorry for + you, speak kindly to you, pity your poverty, and here you go grumbling + away! [Goes up to FEDYA] Where are you from? + </p> + <p> + FEDYA. I live in these parts. I work at the Khamonyevsky brickworks. + </p> + <p> + MERIK. Get up. + </p> + <p> + FEDYA. [Raising himself] Well? + </p> + <p> + MERIK. Get up, right up. I’m going to lie down here. + </p> + <p> + FEDYA. What’s that.... It isn’t your place, is it? + </p> + <p> + MERIK. Yes, mine. Go and lie on the ground! + </p> + <p> + FEDYA. You get out of this, you tramp. I’m not afraid of you. + </p> + <p> + MERIK. You’re very quick with your tongue.... Get up, and don’t talk + about it! You’ll be sorry for it, you silly. + </p> + <p> + TIHON. [To FEDYA] Don’t contradict him, young man. Never mind. + </p> + <p> + FEDYA. What right have you? You stick out your fishy eyes and think I’m + afraid! [Picks up his belongings and stretches himself out on the + ground] You devil! [Lies down and covers himself all over.] + </p> + <p> + MERIK. [Stretching himself out on the bench] I don’t expect you’ve ever + seen a devil or you wouldn’t call me one. Devils aren’t like that. [Lies + down, putting his axe next to him.] Lie down, little brother axe... let + me cover you. + </p> + <p> + TIHON. Where did you get the axe from? + </p> + <p> + MERIK. Stole it.... Stole it, and now I’ve got to fuss over it like a + child with a new toy; I don’t like to throw it away, and I’ve nowhere to + put it. Like a beastly wife.... Yes.... [Covering himself over] Devils + aren’t like that, brother. + </p> + <p> + FEDYA. [Uncovering his head] What are they like? + </p> + <p> + MERIK. Like steam, like air.... Just blow into the air. [Blows] They’re + like that, you can’t see them. + </p> + <p> + A VOICE FROM THE CORNER. You can see them if you sit under a harrow. + </p> + <p> + MERIK. I’ve tried, but I didn’t see any.... Old women’s tales, and silly + old men’s, too.... You won’t see a devil or a ghost or a corpse.... Our + eyes weren’t made so that we could see everything.... When I was a boy, + I used to walk in the woods at night on purpose to see the demon of the + woods.... I’d shout and shout, and there might be some spirit, I’d call + for the demon of the woods and not blink my eyes: I’d see all sorts of + little things moving about, but no demon. I used to go and walk about + the churchyards at night, I wanted to see the ghosts—but the women + lie. I saw all sorts of animals, but anything awful—not a sign. + Our eyes weren’t... + </p> + <p> + THE VOICE FROM THE CORNER. Never mind, it does happen that you do + see.... In our village a man was gutting a wild boar... he was + separating the tripe when... something jumped out at him! + </p> + <p> + SAVVA. [Raising himself] Little children, don’t talk about these unclean + things! It’s a sin, dears! + </p> + <p> + MERIK. Aaa... greybeard! You skeleton! [Laughs] You needn’t go to the + churchyard to see ghosts, when they get up from under the floor to give + advice to their relations.... A sin!... Don’t you teach people your + silly notions! You’re an ignorant lot of people living in darkness.... + [Lights his pipe] My father was peasant and used to be fond of teaching + people. One night he stole a sack of apples from the village priest, and + he brings them along and tells us, “Look, children, mind you don’t eat + any apples before Easter, it’s a sin.” You’re like that.... You don’t + know what a devil is, but you go calling people devils.... Take this + crooked old woman, for instance. [Points to EFIMOVNA] She sees an enemy + in me, but is her time, for some woman’s nonsense or other, she’s given + her soul to the devil five times. + </p> + <p> + EFIMOVNA. Hoo, hoo, hoo.... Gracious heavens! [Covers her face] Little + Savva! + </p> + <p> + TIHON. What are you frightening them for? A great pleasure! [The door + slams in the wind] Lord Jesus.... The wind, the wind! + </p> + <p> + MERIK. [Stretching himself] Eh, to show my strength! [The door slams + again] If I could only measure myself against the wind! Shall I tear the + door down, or suppose I tear up the inn by the roots! [Gets up and lies + down again] How dull! + </p> + <p> + NAZAROVNA. You’d better pray, you heathen! Why are you so restless? + </p> + <p> + EFIMOVNA. Don’t speak to him, leave him alone! He’s looking at us again. + [To MERIK] Don’t look at us, evil man! Your eyes are like the eyes of a + devil before cockcrow! + </p> + <p> + SAVVA. Let him look, pilgrims! You pray, and his eyes won’t do you any + harm. + </p> + <p> + BORTSOV. No, I can’t. It’s too much for my strength! [Goes up to the + counter] Listen, Tihon, I ask you for the last time.... Just half a + glass! + </p> + <p> + TIHON. [Shakes his head] The money! + </p> + <p> + BORTSOV. My God, haven’t I told you! I’ve drunk it all! Where am I to + get it? And you won’t go broke even if you do let me have a drop of + vodka on tick. A glass of it only costs you two copecks, and it will + save me from suffering! I am suffering! Understand! I’m in misery, I’m + suffering! + </p> + <p> + TIHON. Go and tell that to someone else, not to me.... Go and ask the + Orthodox, perhaps they’ll give you some for Christ’s sake, if they feel + like it, but I’ll only give bread for Christ’s sake. + </p> + <p> + BORTSOV. You can rob those wretches yourself, I shan’t.... I won’t do + it! I won’t! Understand? [Hits the bar-counter with his fist] I won’t. + [A pause.] Hm... just wait.... [Turns to the pilgrim women] It’s an + idea, all the same, Orthodox ones! Spare five copecks! My inside asks + for it. I’m ill! + </p> + <p> + FEDYA. Oh, you swindler, with your “spare five copecks.” Won’t you have + some water? + </p> + <p> + BORTSOV. How I am degrading myself! I don’t want it! I don’t want + anything! I was joking! + </p> + <p> + MERIK. You won’t get it out of him, sir.... He’s a famous skinflint.... + Wait, I’ve got a five-copeck piece somewhere.... We’ll have a glass + between us—half each [Searches in his pockets] The devil... it’s + lost somewhere.... Thought I heard it tinkling just now in my pocket.... + No; no, it isn’t there, brother, it’s your luck! [A pause.] + </p> + <p> + BORTSOV. But if I can’t drink, I’ll commit a crime or I’ll kill + myself.... What shall I do, my God! [Looks through the door] Shall I go + out, then? Out into this darkness, wherever my feet take me.... + </p> + <p> + MERIK. Why don’t you give him a sermon, you pilgrims? And you, Tihon, + why don’t you drive him out? He hasn’t paid you for his night’s + accommodation. Chuck him out! Eh, the people are cruel nowadays. There’s + no gentleness or kindness in them.... A savage people! A man is drowning + and they shout to him: “Hurry up and drown, we’ve got no time to look at + you; we’ve got to go to work.” As to throwing him a rope—there’s + no worry about that.... A rope would cost money. + </p> + <p> + SAVVA. Don’t talk, kind man! + </p> + <p> + MERIK. Quiet, old wolf! You’re a savage race! Herods! Sellers of your + souls! [To TIHON] Come here, take off my boots! Look sharp now! + </p> + <p> + TIHON. Eh, he’s let himself go I [Laughs] Awful, isn’t it. + </p> + <p> + MERIK. Go on, do as you’re told! Quick now! [Pause] Do you hear me, or + don’t you? Am I talking to you or the wall? [Stands up] + </p> + <p> + TIHON. Well... give over. + </p> + <p> + MERIK. I want you, you fleecer, to take the boots off me, a poor tramp. + </p> + <p> + TIHON. Well, well... don’t get excited. Here have a glass.... Have a + drink, now! + </p> + <p> + MERIK. People, what do I want? Do I want him to stand me vodka, or to + take off my boots? Didn’t I say it properly? [To TIHON] Didn’t you hear + me rightly? I’ll wait a moment, perhaps you’ll hear me then. + </p> + <p> + [There is excitement among the pilgrims and tramps, who half-raise + themselves in order to look at TIHON and MERIK. They wait in silence.] + </p> + <p> + TIHON. The devil brought you here! [Comes out from behind the bar] What + a gentleman! Come on now. [Takes off MERIK’S boots] You child of Cain... + </p> + <p> + MERIK. That’s right. Put them side by side.... Like that... you can go + now! + </p> + <p> + TIHON. [Returns to the bar-counter] You’re too fond of being clever. You + do it again and I’ll turn you out of the inn! Yes! [To BORTSOV, who is + approaching] You, again? + </p> + <p> + BORTSOV. Look here, suppose I give you something made of gold.... I will + give it to you. + </p> + <p> + TIHON. What are you shaking for? Talk sense! + </p> + <p> + BORTSOV. It may be mean and wicked on my part, but what am I to do? I’m + doing this wicked thing, not reckoning on what’s to come.... If I was + tried for it, they’d let me off. Take it, only on condition that you + return it later, when I come back from town. I give it to you in front + of these witnesses. You will be my witnesses! [Takes a gold medallion + out from the breast of his coat] Here it is.... I ought to take the + portrait out, but I’ve nowhere to put it; I’m wet all over.... Well, + take the portrait, too! Only mind this... don’t let your fingers touch + that face.... Please... I was rude to you, my dear fellow, I was a fool, + but forgive me and... don’t touch it with your fingers.... Don’t look at + that face with your eyes. [Gives TIHON the medallion.] + </p> + <p> + TIHON. [Examining it] Stolen property.... All right, then, drink.... + [Pours out vodka] Confound you. + </p> + <p> + BORTSOV. Only don’t you touch it... with your fingers. [Drinks slowly, + with feverish pauses.] + </p> + <p> + TIHON. [Opens the medallion] Hm... a lady!... Where did you get hold of + this? + </p> + <p> + MERIK. Let’s have a look. [Goes to the bar] Let’s see. + </p> + <p> + TIHON. [Pushes his hand away] Where are you going to? You look somewhere + else! + </p> + <p> + FEDYA. [Gets up and comes to TIHON] I want to look too! + </p> + <p> + [Several of the tramps, etc., approach the bar and form a group. MERIK + grips TIHON’s hand firmly with both his, looks at the portrait, in the + medallion in silence. A pause.] + </p> + <p> + MERIK. A pretty she-devil. A real lady.... + </p> + <p> + FEDYA. A real lady.... Look at her cheeks, her eyes.... Open your hand, + I can’t see. Hair coming down to her waist.... It is lifelike! She might + be going to say something.... [Pause.] + </p> + <p> + MERIK. It’s destruction for a weak man. A woman like that gets a hold on + one and... [Waves his hand] you’re done for! + </p> + <p> + [KUSMA’S voice is heard. “Trrr.... Stop, you brutes!” Enter KUSMA.] + </p> + <p> + KUSMA. There stands an inn upon my way. Shall I drive or walk past it, + say? You can pass your own father and not notice him, but you can see an + inn in the dark a hundred versts away. Make way, if you believe in God! + Hullo, there! [Planks a five-copeck piece down on the counter] A glass + of real Madeira! Quick! + </p> + <p> + FEDYA. Oh, you devil! + </p> + <p> + TIHON. Don’t wave your arms about, or you’ll hit somebody. + </p> + <p> + KUSMA. God gave us arms to wave about. Poor sugary things, you’re + half-melted. You’re frightened of the rain, poor delicate things. + [Drinks.] + </p> + <p> + EFIMOVNA. You may well get frightened, good man, if you’re caught on + your way in a night like this. Now, thank God, it’s all right, there are + many villages and houses where you can shelter from the weather, but + before that there weren’t any. Oh, Lord, it was bad! You walk a hundred + versts, and not only isn’t there a village; or a house, but you don’t + even see a dry stick. So you sleep on the ground.... + </p> + <p> + KUSMA. Have you been long on this earth, old woman? + </p> + <p> + EFIMOVNA. Over seventy years, little father. + </p> + <p> + KUSMA. Over seventy years! You’ll soon come to crow’s years. [Looks at + BORTSOV] And what sort of a raisin is this? [Staring at BORTSOV] Sir! + [BORTSOV recognizes KUSMA and retires in confusion to a corner of the + room, where he sits on a bench] Semyon Sergeyevitch! Is that you, or + isn’t it? Eh? What are you doing in this place? It’s not the sort of + place for you, is it? + </p> + <p> + BORTSOV. Be quiet! + </p> + <p> + MERIK. [To KUSMA] Who is it? + </p> + <p> + KUSMA. A miserable sufferer. [Paces irritably by the counter] Eh? In an + inn, my goodness! Tattered! Drunk! I’m upset, brothers... upset.... [To + MERIK, in an undertone] It’s my master... our landlord. Semyon + Sergeyevitch and Mr. Bortsov.... Have you ever seen such a state? What + does he look like? Just... it’s the drink that brought him to this.... + Give me some more! [Drinks] I come from his village, Bortsovka; you may + have heard of it, it’s 200 versts from here, in the Ergovsky district. + We used to be his father’s serfs.... What a shame! + </p> + <p> + MERIK. Was he rich? + </p> + <p> + KUSMA. Very. + </p> + <p> + MERIK. Did he drink it all? + </p> + <p> + KUSMA. No, my friend, it was something else.... He used to be great and + rich and sober.... [To TIHON] Why you yourself used to see him riding, + as he used to, past this inn, on his way to the town. Such bold and + noble horses! A carriage on springs, of the best quality! He used to own + five troikas, brother.... Five years ago, I remember, he cam here + driving two horses from Mikishinsky, and he paid with a five-rouble + piece.... I haven’t the time, he says, to wait for the change.... There! + </p> + <p> + MERIK. His brain’s gone, I suppose. + </p> + <p> + KUSMA. His brain’s all right.... It all happened because of his + cowardice! From too much fat. First of all, children, because of a + woman.... He fell in love with a woman of the town, and it seemed to him + that there wasn’t any more beautiful thing in the wide world. A fool may + love as much as a wise man. The girl’s people were all right.... But she + wasn’t exactly loose, but just... giddy... always changing her mind! + Always winking at one! Always laughing and laughing.... No sense at all. + The gentry like that, they think that’s nice, but we moujiks would soon + chuck her out.... Well, he fell in love, and his luck ran out. He began + to keep company with her, one thing led to another... they used to go + out in a boat all night, and play pianos.... + </p> + <p> + BORTSOV. Don’t tell them, Kusma! Why should you? What has my life got to + do with them? + </p> + <p> + KUSMA. Forgive me, your honour, I’m only telling them a little... what + does it matter, anyway.... I’m shaking all over. Pour out some more. + [Drinks.] + </p> + <p> + MERIK. [In a semitone] And did she love him? + </p> + <p> + KUSMA. [In a semitone which gradually becomes his ordinary voice] How + shouldn’t she? He was a man of means.... Of course you’ll fall in love + when the man has a thousand dessiatins and money to burn.... He was a + solid, dignified, sober gentleman... always the same, like this... give + me your hand [Takes MERIK’S hand] “How do you do and good-bye, do me the + favour.” Well, I was going one evening past his garden—and what a + garden, brother, versts of it—I was going along quietly, and I + look and see the two of them sitting on a seat and kissing each other. + [Imitates the sound] He kisses her once, and the snake gives him back + two.... He was holding her white, little hand, and she was all fiery and + kept on getting closer and closer, too.... “I love you,” she says. And + he, like one of the damned, walks about from one place to another and + brags, the coward, about his happiness.... Gives one man a rouble, and + two to another.... Gives me money for a horse. Let off everybody’s + debts.... + </p> + <p> + BORTSOV. Oh, why tell them all about it? These people haven’t any + sympathy.... It hurts! + </p> + <p> + KUSMA. It’s nothing, sir! They asked me! Why shouldn’t I tell them? But + if you are angry I won’t... I won’t.... What do I care for them.... + [Post-bells are heard.] + </p> + <p> + FEDYA. Don’t shout; tell us quietly.... + </p> + <p> + KUSMA. I’ll tell you quietly.... He doesn’t want me to, but it can’t be + helped.... But there’s nothing more to tell. They got married, that’s + all. There was nothing else. Pour out another drop for Kusma the stony! + [Drinks] I don’t like people getting drunk! Why the time the wedding + took place, when the gentlefolk sat down to supper afterwards, she went + off in a carriage... [Whispers] To the town, to her lover, a lawyer.... + Eh? What do you think of her now? Just at the very moment! She would be + let off lightly if she were killed for it! + </p> + <p> + MERIK. [Thoughtfully] Well... what happened then? + </p> + <p> + KUSMA. He went mad.... As you see, he started with a fly, as they say, + and now it’s grown to a bumble-bee. It was a fly then, and now—it’s + a bumble-bee.... And he still loves her. Look at him, he loves her! I + expect he’s walking now to the town to get a glimpse of her with one + eye.... He’ll get a glimpse of her, and go back.... + </p> + <p> + [The post has driven up to the in.. The POSTMAN enters and has a drink.] + </p> + <p> + TIHON. The post’s late to-day! + </p> + <p> + [The POSTMAN pays in silence and goes out. The post drives off, the + bells ringing.] + </p> + <p> + A VOICE FROM THE CORNER. One could rob the post in weather like this—easy + as spitting. + </p> + <p> + MERIK. I’ve been alive thirty-five years and I haven’t robbed the post + once.... [Pause] It’s gone now... too late, too late.... + </p> + <p> + KUSMA. Do you want to smell the inside of a prison? + </p> + <p> + MERIK. People rob and don’t go to prison. And if I do go! [Suddenly] + What else? + </p> + <p> + KUSMA. Do you mean that unfortunate? + </p> + <p> + MERIK. Who else? + </p> + <p> + KUSMA. The second reason, brothers, why he was ruined was because of his + brother-in-law, his sister’s husband.... He took it into his head to + stand surety at the bank for 30,000 roubles for his brother-in-law. The + brother-in-law’s a thief.... The swindler knows which side his bread’s + buttered and won’t budge an inch.... So he doesn’t pay up.... So our man + had to pay up the whole thirty thousand. [Sighs] The fool is suffering + for his folly. His wife’s got children now by the lawyer and the + brother-in-law has bought an estate near Poltava, and our man goes round + inns like a fool, and complains to the likes of us: “I’ve lost all + faith, brothers! I can’t believe in anybody now!” It’s cowardly! Every + man has his grief, a snake that sucks at his heart, and does that mean + that he must drink? Take our village elder, for example. His wife plays + about with the schoolmaster in broad daylight, and spends his money on + drink, but the elder walks about smiling to himself. He’s just a little + thinner... + </p> + <p> + TIHON. [Sighs] When God gives a man strength.... + </p> + <p> + KUSMA. There’s all sorts of strength, that’s true.... Well? How much + does it come to? [Pays] Take your pound of flesh! Good-bye, children! + Good-night and pleasant dreams! It’s time I hurried off. I’m bringing my + lady a midwife from the hospital.... She must be getting wet with + waiting, poor thing.... [Runs out. A pause.] + </p> + <p> + TIHON. Oh, you! Unhappy man, come and drink this! [Pours out.] + </p> + <p> + BORTSOV. [Comes up to the bar hesitatingly and drinks] That means I now + owe you for two glasses. + </p> + <p> + TIHON. You don’t owe me anything? Just drink and drown your sorrows! + </p> + <p> + FEDYA. Drink mine, too, sir! Oh! [Throws down a five-copeck piece] If + you drink, you die; if you don’t drink, you die. It’s good not to drink + vodka, but by God you’re easier when you’ve got some! Vodka takes grief + away.... It is hot! + </p> + <p> + BORTSOV. Boo! The heat! + </p> + <p> + MERIK. Dive it here! [Takes the medallion from TIHON and examines her + portrait] Hm. Ran off after the wedding. What a woman! + </p> + <p> + A VOICE FROM THE CORNER. Pour him out another glass, Tihon. Let him + drink mine, too. + </p> + <p> + MERIK. [Dashes the medallion to the ground] Curse her! [Goes quickly to + his place and lies down, face to the wall. General excitement.] + </p> + <p> + BORTSOV. Here, what’s that? [Picks up the medallion] How dare you, you + beast? What right have you? [Tearfully] Do you want me to kill you? You + moujik! You boor! + </p> + <p> + TIHON. Don’t be angry, sir.... It isn’t glass, it isn’t broken.... Have + another drink and go to sleep. [Pours out] Here I’ve been listening to + you all, and when I ought to have locked up long ago. [Goes and looks + door leading out.] + </p> + <p> + BORTSOV. [Drinks] How dare he? The fool! [to MERIK] Do you understand? + You’re a fool, a donkey! + </p> + <p> + SAVVA. Children! If you please! Stop that talking! What’s the good of + making a noise? Let people go to sleep. + </p> + <p> + TIHON. Lie down, lie down... be quiet! [Goes behind the counter and + locks the till] It’s time to sleep. + </p> + <p> + FEDYA. It’s time! [Lies down] Pleasant dreams, brothers! + </p> + <p> + MERIK. [Gets up and spreads his short fur and coat the bench] Come on, + lie down, sir. + </p> + <p> + TIHON. And where will you sleep. + </p> + <p> + MERIK. Oh, anywhere.... The floor will do.... [Spreads a coat on the + floor] It’s all one to me [Puts the axe by him] It would be torture for + him to sleep on the floor. He’s used to silk and down.... + </p> + <p> + TIHON. [To BORTSOV] Lie down, your honour! You’ve looked at that + portrait long enough. [Puts out a candle] Throw it away! + </p> + <p> + BORTSOV. [Swaying about] Where can I lie down? + </p> + <p> + TIHON. In the tramp’s place! Didn’t you hear him giving it up to you? + </p> + <p> + BORTSOV. [Going up to the vacant place] I’m a bit... drunk... after all + that.... Is this it?... Do I lie down here? Eh? + </p> + <p> + TIHON. Yes, yes, lie down, don’t be afraid. [Stretches himself out on + the counter.] + </p> + <p> + BORTSOV. [Lying down] I’m... drunk.... Everything’s going round.... + [Opens the medallion] Haven’t you a little candle? [Pause] You’re a + queer little woman Masha.... Looking at me out of the frame and + laughing.... [Laughs] I’m drunk! And should you laugh at a man because + he’s drunk? You look out, as Schastlivtsev says, and... love the + drunkard. + </p> + <p> + FEDYA. How the wind howls. It’s dreary! + </p> + <p> + BORTSOV. [Laughs] What a woman.... Why do you keep on going round? I + can’t catch you! + </p> + <p> + MERIK. He’s wandering. Looked too long at the portrait. [Laughs] What a + business! Educated people go and invent all sorts of machines and + medicines, but there hasn’t yet been a man wise enough to invent a + medicine against the female sex.... They try to cure every sort of + disease, and it never occurs to them that more people die of women than + of disease.... Sly, stingy, cruel, brainless.... The mother-in-law + torments the bride and the bride makes things square by swindling the + husband... and there’s no end to it.... + </p> + <p> + TIHON. The women have ruffled his hair for him, and so he’s bristly. + </p> + <p> + MERIK. It isn’t only I.... From the beginning of the ages, since the + world has been in existence, people have complained.... It’s not for + nothing that in the songs and stories, the devil and the woman are put + side by side.... Not for nothing! It’s half true, at any rate... [Pause] + Here’s the gentleman playing the fool, but I had more sense, didn’t I, + when I left my father and mother, and became a tramp? + </p> + <p> + FEDYA. Because of women? + </p> + <p> + MERIK. Just like the gentleman... I walked about like one of the damned, + bewitched, blessing my stars... on fire day and night, until at last my + eyes were opened... It wasn’t love, but just a fraud.... + </p> + <p> + FEDYA. What did you do to her? + </p> + <p> + MERIK. Never you mind.... [Pause] Do you think I killed her?... I + wouldn’t do it.... If you kill, you are sorry for it.... She can live + and be happy! If only I’d never set eyes on you, or if I could only + forget you, you viper’s brood! [A knocking at the door.] + </p> + <p> + TIHON. Whom have the devils brought.... Who’s there? [Knocking] Who + knocks? [Gets up and goes to the door] Who knocks? Go away, we’ve locked + up! + </p> + <p> + A VOICE. Please let me in, Tihon. The carriage-spring’s broken! Be a + father to me and help me! If I only had a little string to tie it round + with, we’d get there somehow or other. + </p> + <p> + TIHON. Who are you? + </p> + <p> + THE VOICE. My lady is going to Varsonofyev from the town.... It’s only + five versts farther on.... Do be a good man and help! + </p> + <p> + TIHON. Go and tell the lady that if she pays ten roubles she can have + her string and we’ll mend the spring. + </p> + <p> + THE VOICE. Have you gone mad, or what? Ten roubles! You mad dog! + Profiting by our misfortunes! + </p> + <p> + TIHON. Just as you like.... You needn’t if you don’t want to. + </p> + <p> + THE VOICE. Very well, wait a bit. [Pause] She says, all right. + </p> + <p> + TIHON. Pleased to hear it! + </p> + <p> + [Opens door. The COACHMAN enters.] + </p> + <p> + COACHMAN. Good evening, Orthodox people! Well, give me the string! + Quick! Who’ll go and help us, children? There’ll be something left over + for your trouble! + </p> + <p> + TIHON. There won’t be anything left over.... Let them sleep, the two of + us can manage. + </p> + <p> + COACHMAN. Foo, I am tired! It’s cold, and there’s not a dry spot in all + the mud.... Another thing, dear.... Have you got a little room in here + for the lady to warm herself in? The carriage is all on one side, she + can’t stay in it.... + </p> + <p> + TIHON. What does she want a room for? She can warm herself in here, if + she’s cold.... We’ll find a place [Clears a space next to BORTSOV] Get + up, get up! Just lie on the floor for an hour, and let the lady get + warm. [To BORTSOV] Get up, your honour! Sit up! [BORTSOV sits up] Here’s + a place for you. [Exit COACHMAN.] + </p> + <p> + FEDYA. Here’s a visitor for you, the devil’s brought her! Now there’ll + be no sleep before daylight. + </p> + <p> + TIHON. I’m sorry I didn’t ask for fifteen.... She’d have given them.... + [Stands expectantly before the door] You’re a delicate sort of people, I + must say. [Enter MARIA EGOROVNA, followed by the COACHMAN. TIHON bows.] + Please, your highness! Our room is very humble, full of blackbeetles! + But don’t disdain it! + </p> + <p> + MARIA EGOROVNA. I can’t see anything.... Which way do I go? + </p> + <p> + TIHON. This way, your highness! [Leads her to the place next to BORTSOV] + This way, please. [Blows on the place] I haven’t any separate rooms, + excuse me, but don’t you be afraid, madam, the people here are good and + quiet.... + </p> + <p> + MARIA EGOROVNA. [Sits next to BORTSOV] How awfully stuffy! Open the + door, at any rate! + </p> + <p> + TIHON. Yes, madam. [Runs and opens the door wide.] + </p> + <p> + MARIA. We’re freezing, and you open the door! [Gets up and slams it] Who + are you to be giving orders? [Lies down] + </p> + <p> + TIHON. Excuse me, your highness, but we’ve a little fool here... a bit + cracked.... But don’t you be frightened, he won’t do you any harm.... + Only you must excuse me, madam, I can’t do this for ten roubles.... Make + it fifteen. + </p> + <p> + MARIA EGOROVNA. Very well, only be quick. + </p> + <p> + TIHON. This minute... this very instant. [Drags some string out from + under the counter] This minute. [A pause.] + </p> + <p> + BORTSOV. [Looking at MARIA EGOROVNA] Marie... Masha... + </p> + <p> + MARIA EGOROVNA. [Looks at BORTSOV] What’s this? + </p> + <p> + BORTSOV. Marie... is it you? Where do you come from? [MARIA EGOROVNA + recognizes BORTSOV, screams and runs off into the centre of the floor. + BORTSOV follows] Marie, it is I... I [Laughs loudly] My wife! Marie! + Where am I? People, a light! + </p> + <p> + MARIA EGOROVNA. Get away from me! You lie, it isn’t you! It can’t be! + [Covers her face with her hands] It’s a lie, it’s all nonsense! + </p> + <p> + BORTSOV. Her voice, her movements.... Marie, it is I! I’ll stop in a + moment.... I was drunk.... My head’s going round.... My God! Stop, + stop.... I can’t understand anything. [Yells] My wife! [Falls at her + feet and sobs. A group collects around the husband and wife.] + </p> + <p> + MARIA EGOROVNA. Stand back! [To the COACHMAN] Denis, let’s go! I can’t + stop here any longer! + </p> + <p> + MERIK. [Jumps up and looks her steadily in the face] The portrait! + [Grasps her hand] It is she! Eh, people, she’s the gentleman’s wife! + </p> + <p> + MARIA EGOROVNA. Get away, fellow! [Tries to tear her hand away from him] + Denis, why do you stand there staring? [DENIS and TIHON run up to her + and get hold of MERIK’S arms] This thieves’ kitchen! Let go my hand! I’m + not afraid!... Get away from me! + </p> + <p> + MERIK. [Note: Throughout this speech, in the original, Merik uses the + familiar second person singular.] Wait a bit, and I’ll let go.... Just + let me say one word to you.... One word, so that you may understand.... + Just wait.... [Turns to TIHON and DENIS] Get away, you rogues, let go! I + shan’t let you go till I’ve had my say! Stop... one moment. [Strikes his + forehead with his fist] No, God hasn’t given me the wisdom! I can’t + think of the word for you! + </p> + <p> + MARIA EGOROVNA. [Tears away her hand] Get away! Drunkards... let’s go, + Denis! + </p> + <p> + [She tries to go out, but MERIK blocks the door.] + </p> + <p> + MERIK. Just throw a glance at him, with only one eye if you like! Or say + only just one kind little word to him! God’s own sake! + </p> + <p> + MARIA EGOROVNA. Take away this... fool. + </p> + <p> + MERIK. Then the devil take you, you accursed woman! + </p> + <p> + [He swings his axe. General confusion. Everybody jumps up noisily and + with cries of horror. SAVVA stands between MERIK and MARIA EGOROVNA.... + DENIS forces MERIK to one side and carries out his mistress. After this + all stand as if turned to stone. A prolonged pause. BORTSOV suddenly + waves his hands in the air.] + </p> + <p> + BORTSOV. Marie... where are you, Marie! + </p> + <p> + NAZAROVNA. My God, my God! You’ve torn up my your murderers! What an + accursed night! + </p> + <p> + MERIK. [Lowering his hand; he still holds the axe] Did I kill her or no? + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + HIGH ROAD +</pre> + <p> + TIHON. Thank God, your head is safe.... + </p> + <p> + MERIK. Then I didn’t kill her.... [Totters to his bed] Fate hasn’t sent + me to my death because of a stolen axe.... [Falls down and sobs] Woe! + Woe is me! Have pity on me, Orthodox people! + </p> + <p> + Curtain. + </p> + <a name="link2H_4_0003" id="link2H_4_0003"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + THE PROPOSAL + </h2> + CHARACTERS +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + STEPAN STEPANOVITCH CHUBUKOV, a landowner + NATALYA STEPANOVNA, his daughter, twenty-five years old + IVAN VASSILEVITCH LOMOV, a neighbour of Chubukov, a large and + hearty, but very suspicious landowner +</pre> + <p> + The scene is laid at CHUBUKOV’s country-house + </p> + <p> + A drawing-room in CHUBUKOV’S house. + </p> + <p> + [LOMOV enters, wearing a dress-jacket and white gloves. CHUBUKOV rises + to meet him.] + </p> + <p> + CHUBUKOV. My dear fellow, whom do I see! Ivan Vassilevitch! I am + extremely glad! [Squeezes his hand] Now this is a surprise, my + darling... How are you? + </p> + <p> + LOMOV. Thank you. And how may you be getting on? + </p> + <p> + CHUBUKOV. We just get along somehow, my angel, to your prayers, and so + on. Sit down, please do.... Now, you know, you shouldn’t forget all + about your neighbours, my darling. My dear fellow, why are you so formal + in your get-up? Evening dress, gloves, and so on. Can you be going + anywhere, my treasure? + </p> + <p> + LOMOV. No, I’ve come only to see you, honoured Stepan Stepanovitch. + </p> + <p> + CHUBUKOV. Then why are you in evening dress, my precious? As if you’re + paying a New Year’s Eve visit! + </p> + <p> + LOMOV. Well, you see, it’s like this. [Takes his arm] I’ve come to you, + honoured Stepan Stepanovitch, to trouble you with a request. Not once or + twice have I already had the privilege of applying to you for help, and + you have always, so to speak... I must ask your pardon, I am getting + excited. I shall drink some water, honoured Stepan Stepanovitch. + [Drinks.] + </p> + <p> + CHUBUKOV. [Aside] He’s come to borrow money! Shan’t give him any! + [Aloud] What is it, my beauty? + </p> + <p> + LOMOV. You see, Honour Stepanitch... I beg pardon, Stepan Honouritch... + I mean, I’m awfully excited, as you will please notice.... In short, you + alone can help me, though I don’t deserve it, of course... and haven’t + any right to count on your assistance.... + </p> + <p> + CHUBUKOV. Oh, don’t go round and round it, darling! Spit it out! Well? + </p> + <p> + LOMOV. One moment... this very minute. The fact is, I’ve come to ask the + hand of your daughter, Natalya Stepanovna, in marriage. + </p> + <p> + CHUBUKOV. [Joyfully] By Jove! Ivan Vassilevitch! Say it again—I + didn’t hear it all! + </p> + <p> + LOMOV. I have the honour to ask... + </p> + <p> + CHUBUKOV. [Interrupting] My dear fellow... I’m so glad, and so on.... + Yes, indeed, and all that sort of thing. [Embraces and kisses LOMOV] + I’ve been hoping for it for a long time. It’s been my continual desire. + [Sheds a tear] And I’ve always loved you, my angel, as if you were my + own son. May God give you both His help and His love and so on, and I + did so much hope... What am I behaving in this idiotic way for? I’m off + my balance with joy, absolutely off my balance! Oh, with all my soul... + I’ll go and call Natasha, and all that. + </p> + <p> + LOMOV. [Greatly moved] Honoured Stepan Stepanovitch, do you think I may + count on her consent? + </p> + <p> + CHUBUKOV. Why, of course, my darling, and... as if she won’t consent! + She’s in love; egad, she’s like a love-sick cat, and so on.... Shan’t be + long! [Exit.] + </p> + <p> + LOMOV. It’s cold... I’m trembling all over, just as if I’d got an + examination before me. The great thing is, I must have my mind made up. + If I give myself time to think, to hesitate, to talk a lot, to look for + an ideal, or for real love, then I’ll never get married.... Brr!... It’s + cold! Natalya Stepanovna is an excellent housekeeper, not bad-looking, + well-educated.... What more do I want? But I’m getting a noise in my + ears from excitement. [Drinks] And it’s impossible for me not to + marry.... In the first place, I’m already 35—a critical age, so to + speak. In the second place, I ought to lead a quiet and regular life.... + I suffer from palpitations, I’m excitable and always getting awfully + upset.... At this very moment my lips are trembling, and there’s a + twitch in my right eyebrow.... But the very worst of all is the way I + sleep. I no sooner get into bed and begin to go off when suddenly + something in my left side—gives a pull, and I can feel it in my + shoulder and head.... I jump up like a lunatic, walk about a bit, and + lie down again, but as soon as I begin to get off to sleep there’s + another pull! And this may happen twenty times.... + </p> + <p> + [NATALYA STEPANOVNA comes in.] + </p> + <p> + NATALYA STEPANOVNA. Well, there! It’s you, and papa said, “Go; there’s a + merchant come for his goods.” How do you do, Ivan Vassilevitch! + </p> + <p> + LOMOV. How do you do, honoured Natalya Stepanovna? + </p> + <p> + NATALYA STEPANOVNA. You must excuse my apron and négligé... we’re + shelling peas for drying. Why haven’t you been here for such a long + time? Sit down. [They seat themselves] Won’t you have some lunch? + </p> + <p> + LOMOV. No, thank you, I’ve had some already. + </p> + <p> + NATALYA STEPANOVNA. Then smoke.... Here are the matches.... The weather + is splendid now, but yesterday it was so wet that the workmen didn’t do + anything all day. How much hay have you stacked? Just think, I felt + greedy and had a whole field cut, and now I’m not at all pleased about + it because I’m afraid my hay may rot. I ought to have waited a bit. But + what’s this? Why, you’re in evening dress! Well, I never! Are you going + to a ball, or what?—though I must say you look better. Tell me, + why are you got up like that? + </p> + <p> + LOMOV. [Excited] You see, honoured Natalya Stepanovna... the fact is, + I’ve made up my mind to ask you to hear me out.... Of course you’ll be + surprised and perhaps even angry, but a... [Aside] It’s awfully cold! + </p> + <p> + NATALYA STEPANOVNA. What’s the matter? [Pause] Well? + </p> + <p> + LOMOV. I shall try to be brief. You must know, honoured Natalya + Stepanovna, that I have long, since my childhood, in fact, had the + privilege of knowing your family. My late aunt and her husband, from + whom, as you know, I inherited my land, always had the greatest respect + for your father and your late mother. The Lomovs and the Chubukovs have + always had the most friendly, and I might almost say the most + affectionate, regard for each other. And, as you know, my land is a near + neighbour of yours. You will remember that my Oxen Meadows touch your + birchwoods. + </p> + <p> + NATALYA STEPANOVNA. Excuse my interrupting you. You say, “my Oxen + Meadows....” But are they yours? + </p> + <p> + LOMOV. Yes, mine. + </p> + <p> + NATALYA STEPANOVNA. What are you talking about? Oxen Meadows are ours, + not yours! + </p> + <p> + LOMOV. No, mine, honoured Natalya Stepanovna. + </p> + <p> + NATALYA STEPANOVNA. Well, I never knew that before. How do you make that + out? + </p> + <p> + LOMOV. How? I’m speaking of those Oxen Meadows which are wedged in + between your birchwoods and the Burnt Marsh. + </p> + <p> + NATALYA STEPANOVNA. Yes, yes.... They’re ours. + </p> + <p> + LOMOV. No, you’re mistaken, honoured Natalya Stepanovna, they’re mine. + </p> + <p> + NATALYA STEPANOVNA. Just think, Ivan Vassilevitch! How long have they + been yours? + </p> + <p> + LOMOV. How long? As long as I can remember. + </p> + <p> + NATALYA STEPANOVNA. Really, you won’t get me to believe that! + </p> + <p> + LOMOV. But you can see from the documents, honoured Natalya Stepanovna. + Oxen Meadows, it’s true, were once the subject of dispute, but now + everybody knows that they are mine. There’s nothing to argue about. You + see, my aunt’s grandmother gave the free use of these Meadows in + perpetuity to the peasants of your father’s grandfather, in return for + which they were to make bricks for her. The peasants belonging to your + father’s grandfather had the free use of the Meadows for forty years, + and had got into the habit of regarding them as their own, when it + happened that... + </p> + <p> + NATALYA STEPANOVNA. No, it isn’t at all like that! Both my grandfather + and great-grandfather reckoned that their land extended to Burnt Marsh—which + means that Oxen Meadows were ours. I don’t see what there is to argue + about. It’s simply silly! + </p> + <p> + LOMOV. I’ll show you the documents, Natalya Stepanovna! + </p> + <p> + NATALYA STEPANOVNA. No, you’re simply joking, or making fun of me.... + What a surprise! We’ve had the land for nearly three hundred years, and + then we’re suddenly told that it isn’t ours! Ivan Vassilevitch, I can + hardly believe my own ears.... These Meadows aren’t worth much to me. + They only come to five dessiatins [Note: 13.5 acres], and are worth + perhaps 300 roubles [Note: £30.], but I can’t stand unfairness. Say what + you will, but I can’t stand unfairness. + </p> + <p> + LOMOV. Hear me out, I implore you! The peasants of your father’s + grandfather, as I have already had the honour of explaining to you, used + to bake bricks for my aunt’s grandmother. Now my aunt’s grandmother, + wishing to make them a pleasant... + </p> + <p> + NATALYA STEPANOVNA. I can’t make head or tail of all this about aunts + and grandfathers and grandmothers! The Meadows are ours, and that’s all. + </p> + <p> + LOMOV. Mine. + </p> + <p> + NATALYA STEPANOVNA. Ours! You can go on proving it for two days on end, + you can go and put on fifteen dress-jackets, but I tell you they’re + ours, ours, ours! I don’t want anything of yours and I don’t want to + give up anything of mine. So there! + </p> + <p> + LOMOV. Natalya Ivanovna, I don’t want the Meadows, but I am acting on + principle. If you like, I’ll make you a present of them. + </p> + <p> + NATALYA STEPANOVNA. I can make you a present of them myself, because + they’re mine! Your behaviour, Ivan Vassilevitch, is strange, to say the + least! Up to this we have always thought of you as a good neighbour, a + friend: last year we lent you our threshing-machine, although on that + account we had to put off our own threshing till November, but you + behave to us as if we were gipsies. Giving me my own land, indeed! No, + really, that’s not at all neighbourly! In my opinion, it’s even + impudent, if you want to know.... + </p> + <p> + LOMOV. Then you make out that I’m a land-grabber? Madam, never in my + life have I grabbed anybody else’s land, and I shan’t allow anybody to + accuse me of having done so.... [Quickly steps to the carafe and drinks + more water] Oxen Meadows are mine! + </p> + <p> + NATALYA STEPANOVNA. It’s not true, they’re ours! + </p> + <p> + LOMOV. Mine! + </p> + <p> + NATALYA STEPANOVNA. It’s not true! I’ll prove it! I’ll send my mowers + out to the Meadows this very day! + </p> + <p> + LOMOV. What? + </p> + <p> + NATALYA STEPANOVNA. My mowers will be there this very day! + </p> + <p> + LOMOV. I’ll give it to them in the neck! + </p> + <p> + NATALYA STEPANOVNA. You dare! + </p> + <p> + LOMOV. [Clutches at his heart] Oxen Meadows are mine! You understand? + Mine! + </p> + <p> + NATALYA STEPANOVNA. Please don’t shout! You can shout yourself hoarse in + your own house, but here I must ask you to restrain yourself! + </p> + <p> + LOMOV. If it wasn’t, madam, for this awful, excruciating palpitation, if + my whole inside wasn’t upset, I’d talk to you in a different way! + [Yells] Oxen Meadows are mine! + </p> + <p> + NATALYA STEPANOVNA. Ours! + </p> + <p> + LOMOV. Mine! + </p> + <p> + NATALYA STEPANOVNA. Ours! + </p> + <p> + LOMOV. Mine! + </p> + <p> + [Enter CHUBUKOV.] + </p> + <p> + CHUBUKOV. What’s the matter? What are you shouting at? + </p> + <p> + NATALYA STEPANOVNA. Papa, please tell to this gentleman who owns Oxen + Meadows, we or he? + </p> + <p> + CHUBUKOV. [To LOMOV] Darling, the Meadows are ours! + </p> + <p> + LOMOV. But, please, Stepan Stepanitch, how can they be yours? Do be a + reasonable man! My aunt’s grandmother gave the Meadows for the temporary + and free use of your grandfather’s peasants. The peasants used the land + for forty years and got as accustomed to it as if it was their own, when + it happened that... + </p> + <p> + CHUBUKOV. Excuse me, my precious.... You forget just this, that the + peasants didn’t pay your grandmother and all that, because the Meadows + were in dispute, and so on. And now everybody knows that they’re ours. + It means that you haven’t seen the plan. + </p> + <p> + LOMOV. I’ll prove to you that they’re mine! + </p> + <p> + CHUBUKOV. You won’t prove it, my darling. + </p> + <p> + LOMOV. I shall! + </p> + <p> + CHUBUKOV. Dear one, why yell like that? You won’t prove anything just by + yelling. I don’t want anything of yours, and don’t intend to give up + what I have. Why should I? And you know, my beloved, that if you propose + to go on arguing about it, I’d much sooner give up the meadows to the + peasants than to you. There! + </p> + <p> + LOMOV. I don’t understand! How have you the right to give away somebody + else’s property? + </p> + <p> + CHUBUKOV. You may take it that I know whether I have the right or not. + Because, young man, I’m not used to being spoken to in that tone of + voice, and so on: I, young man, am twice your age, and ask you to speak + to me without agitating yourself, and all that. + </p> + <p> + LOMOV. No, you just think I’m a fool and want to have me on! You call my + land yours, and then you want me to talk to you calmly and politely! + Good neighbours don’t behave like that, Stepan Stepanitch! You’re not a + neighbour, you’re a grabber! + </p> + <p> + CHUBUKOV. What’s that? What did you say? + </p> + <p> + NATALYA STEPANOVNA. Papa, send the mowers out to the Meadows at once! + </p> + <p> + CHUBUKOV. What did you say, sir? + </p> + <p> + NATALYA STEPANOVNA. Oxen Meadows are ours, and I shan’t give them up, + shan’t give them up, shan’t give them up! + </p> + <p> + LOMOV. We’ll see! I’ll have the matter taken to court, and then I’ll + show you! + </p> + <p> + CHUBUKOV. To court? You can take it to court, and all that! You can! I + know you; you’re just on the look-out for a chance to go to court, and + all that.... You pettifogger! All your people were like that! All of + them! + </p> + <p> + LOMOV. Never mind about my people! The Lomovs have all been honourable + people, and not one has ever been tried for embezzlement, like your + grandfather! + </p> + <p> + CHUBUKOV. You Lomovs have had lunacy in your family, all of you! + </p> + <p> + NATALYA STEPANOVNA. All, all, all! + </p> + <p> + CHUBUKOV. Your grandfather was a drunkard, and your younger aunt, + Nastasya Mihailovna, ran away with an architect, and so on. + </p> + <p> + LOMOV. And your mother was hump-backed. [Clutches at his heart] + Something pulling in my side.... My head.... Help! Water! + </p> + <p> + CHUBUKOV. Your father was a guzzling gambler! + </p> + <p> + NATALYA STEPANOVNA. And there haven’t been many backbiters to equal your + aunt! + </p> + <p> + LOMOV. My left foot has gone to sleep.... You’re an intriguer.... Oh, my + heart!... And it’s an open secret that before the last elections you + bri... I can see stars.... Where’s my hat? + </p> + <p> + NATALYA STEPANOVNA. It’s low! It’s dishonest! It’s mean! + </p> + <p> + CHUBUKOV. And you’re just a malicious, double-faced intriguer! Yes! + </p> + <p> + LOMOV. Here’s my hat.... My heart!... Which way? Where’s the door? + Oh!... I think I’m dying.... My foot’s quite numb.... [Goes to the + door.] + </p> + <p> + CHUBUKOV. [Following him] And don’t set foot in my house again! + </p> + <p> + NATALYA STEPANOVNA. Take it to court! We’ll see! + </p> + <p> + [LOMOV staggers out.] + </p> + <p> + CHUBUKOV. Devil take him! [Walks about in excitement.] + </p> + <p> + NATALYA STEPANOVNA. What a rascal! What trust can one have in one’s + neighbours after that! + </p> + <p> + CHUBUKOV. The villain! The scarecrow! + </p> + <p> + NATALYA STEPANOVNA. The monster! First he takes our land and then he has + the impudence to abuse us. + </p> + <p> + CHUBUKOV. And that blind hen, yes, that turnip-ghost has the confounded + cheek to make a proposal, and so on! What? A proposal! + </p> + <p> + NATALYA STEPANOVNA. What proposal? + </p> + <p> + CHUBUKOV. Why, he came here so as to propose to you. + </p> + <p> + NATALYA STEPANOVNA. To propose? To me? Why didn’t you tell me so before? + </p> + <p> + CHUBUKOV. So he dresses up in evening clothes. The stuffed sausage! The + wizen-faced frump! + </p> + <p> + NATALYA STEPANOVNA. To propose to me? Ah! [Falls into an easy-chair and + wails] Bring him back! Back! Ah! Bring him here. + </p> + <p> + CHUBUKOV. Bring whom here? + </p> + <p> + NATALYA STEPANOVNA. Quick, quick! I’m ill! Fetch him! [Hysterics.] + </p> + <p> + CHUBUKOV. What’s that? What’s the matter with you? [Clutches at his + head] Oh, unhappy man that I am! I’ll shoot myself! I’ll hang myself! + We’ve done for her! + </p> + <p> + NATALYA STEPANOVNA. I’m dying! Fetch him! + </p> + <p> + CHUBUKOV. Tfoo! At once. Don’t yell! + </p> + <p> + [Runs out. A pause. NATALYA STEPANOVNA wails.] + </p> + <p> + NATALYA STEPANOVNA. What have they done to me! Fetch him back! Fetch + him! [A pause.] + </p> + <p> + [CHUBUKOV runs in.] + </p> + <p> + CHUBUKOV. He’s coming, and so on, devil take him! Ouf! Talk to him + yourself; I don’t want to.... + </p> + <p> + NATALYA STEPANOVNA. [Wails] Fetch him! + </p> + <p> + CHUBUKOV. [Yells] He’s coming, I tell you. Oh, what a burden, Lord, to + be the father of a grown-up daughter! I’ll cut my throat! I will, + indeed! We cursed him, abused him, drove him out, and it’s all you... + you! + </p> + <p> + NATALYA STEPANOVNA. No, it was you! + </p> + <p> + CHUBUKOV. I tell you it’s not my fault. [LOMOV appears at the door] Now + you talk to him yourself [Exit.] + </p> + <p> + [LOMOV enters, exhausted.] + </p> + <p> + LOMOV. My heart’s palpitating awfully.... My foot’s gone to sleep.... + There’s something keeps pulling in my side. + </p> + <p> + NATALYA STEPANOVNA. Forgive us, Ivan Vassilevitch, we were all a little + heated.... I remember now: Oxen Meadows really are yours. + </p> + <p> + LOMOV. My heart’s beating awfully.... My Meadows.... My eyebrows are + both twitching.... + </p> + <p> + NATALYA STEPANOVNA. The Meadows are yours, yes, yours.... Do sit + down.... [They sit] We were wrong.... + </p> + <p> + LOMOV. I did it on principle.... My land is worth little to me, but the + principle... + </p> + <p> + NATALYA STEPANOVNA. Yes, the principle, just so.... Now let’s talk of + something else. + </p> + <p> + LOMOV. The more so as I have evidence. My aunt’s grandmother gave the + land to your father’s grandfather’s peasants... + </p> + <p> + NATALYA STEPANOVNA. Yes, yes, let that pass.... [Aside] I wish I knew + how to get him started.... [Aloud] Are you going to start shooting soon? + </p> + <p> + LOMOV. I’m thinking of having a go at the blackcock, honoured Natalya + Stepanovna, after the harvest. Oh, have you heard? Just think, what a + misfortune I’ve had! My dog Guess, whom you know, has gone lame. + </p> + <p> + NATALYA STEPANOVNA. What a pity! Why? + </p> + <p> + LOMOV. I don’t know.... Must have got twisted, or bitten by some other + dog.... [Sighs] My very best dog, to say nothing of the expense. I gave + Mironov 125 roubles for him. + </p> + <p> + NATALYA STEPANOVNA. It was too much, Ivan Vassilevitch. + </p> + <p> + LOMOV. I think it was very cheap. He’s a first-rate dog. + </p> + <p> + NATALYA STEPANOVNA. Papa gave 85 roubles for his Squeezer, and Squeezer + is heaps better than Guess! + </p> + <p> + LOMOV. Squeezer better than. Guess? What an idea! [Laughs] Squeezer + better than Guess! + </p> + <p> + NATALYA STEPANOVNA. Of course he’s better! Of course, Squeezer is young, + he may develop a bit, but on points and pedigree he’s better than + anything that even Volchanetsky has got. + </p> + <p> + LOMOV. Excuse me, Natalya Stepanovna, but you forget that he is + overshot, and an overshot always means the dog is a bad hunter! + </p> + <p> + NATALYA STEPANOVNA. Overshot, is he? The first time I hear it! + </p> + <p> + LOMOV. I assure you that his lower jaw is shorter than the upper. + </p> + <p> + NATALYA STEPANOVNA. Have you measured? + </p> + <p> + LOMOV. Yes. He’s all right at following, of course, but if you want him + to get hold of anything... + </p> + <p> + NATALYA STEPANOVNA. In the first place, our Squeezer is a thoroughbred + animal, the son of Harness and Chisels, while there’s no getting at the + pedigree of your dog at all.... He’s old and as ugly as a worn-out + cab-horse. + </p> + <p> + LOMOV. He is old, but I wouldn’t take five Squeezers for him.... Why, + how can you?... Guess is a dog; as for Squeezer, well, it’s too funny to + argue.... Anybody you like has a dog as good as Squeezer... you may find + them under every bush almost. Twenty-five roubles would be a handsome + price to pay for him. + </p> + <p> + NATALYA STEPANOVNA. There’s some demon of contradiction in you to-day, + Ivan Vassilevitch. First you pretend that the Meadows are yours; now, + that Guess is better than Squeezer. I don’t like people who don’t say + what they mean, because you know perfectly well that Squeezer is a + hundred times better than your silly Guess. Why do you want to say it + isn’t? + </p> + <p> + LOMOV. I see, Natalya Stepanovna, that you consider me either blind or a + fool. You must realize that Squeezer is overshot! + </p> + <p> + NATALYA STEPANOVNA. It’s not true. + </p> + <p> + LOMOV. He is! + </p> + <p> + NATALYA STEPANOVNA. It’s not true! + </p> + <p> + LOMOV. Why shout, madam? + </p> + <p> + NATALYA STEPANOVNA. Why talk rot? It’s awful! It’s time your Guess was + shot, and you compare him with Squeezer! + </p> + <p> + LOMOV. Excuse me; I cannot continue this discussion: my heart is + palpitating. + </p> + <p> + NATALYA STEPANOVNA. I’ve noticed that those hunters argue most who know + least. + </p> + <p> + LOMOV. Madam, please be silent.... My heart is going to pieces.... + [Shouts] Shut up! + </p> + <p> + NATALYA STEPANOVNA. I shan’t shut up until you acknowledge that Squeezer + is a hundred times better than your Guess! + </p> + <p> + LOMOV. A hundred times worse! Be hanged to your Squeezer! His head... + eyes... shoulder... + </p> + <p> + NATALYA STEPANOVNA. There’s no need to hang your silly Guess; he’s + half-dead already! + </p> + <p> + LOMOV. [Weeps] Shut up! My heart’s bursting! + </p> + <p> + NATALYA STEPANOVNA. I shan’t shut up. + </p> + <p> + [Enter CHUBUKOV.] + </p> + <p> + CHUBUKOV. What’s the matter now? + </p> + <p> + NATALYA STEPANOVNA. Papa, tell us truly, which is the better dog, our + Squeezer or his Guess. + </p> + <p> + LOMOV. Stepan Stepanovitch, I implore you to tell me just one thing: is + your Squeezer overshot or not? Yes or no? + </p> + <p> + CHUBUKOV. And suppose he is? What does it matter? He’s the best dog in + the district for all that, and so on. + </p> + <p> + LOMOV. But isn’t my Guess better? Really, now? + </p> + <p> + CHUBUKOV. Don’t excite yourself, my precious one.... Allow me.... Your + Guess certainly has his good points.... He’s pure-bred, firm on his + feet, has well-sprung ribs, and all that. But, my dear man, if you want + to know the truth, that dog has two defects: he’s old and he’s short in + the muzzle. + </p> + <p> + LOMOV. Excuse me, my heart.... Let’s take the facts.... You will + remember that on the Marusinsky hunt my Guess ran neck-and-neck with the + Count’s dog, while your Squeezer was left a whole verst behind. + </p> + <p> + CHUBUKOV. He got left behind because the Count’s whipper-in hit him with + his whip. + </p> + <p> + LOMOV. And with good reason. The dogs are running after a fox, when + Squeezer goes and starts worrying a sheep! + </p> + <p> + CHUBUKOV. It’s not true!... My dear fellow, I’m very liable to lose my + temper, and so, just because of that, let’s stop arguing. You started + because everybody is always jealous of everybody else’s dogs. Yes, we’re + all like that! You too, sir, aren’t blameless! You no sooner notice that + some dog is better than your Guess than you begin with this, that... and + the other... and all that.... I remember everything! + </p> + <p> + LOMOV. I remember too! + </p> + <p> + CHUBUKOV. [Teasing him] I remember, too.... What do you remember? + </p> + <p> + LOMOV. My heart... my foot’s gone to sleep.... I can’t... + </p> + <p> + NATALYA STEPANOVNA. [Teasing] My heart.... What sort of a hunter are + you? You ought to go and lie on the kitchen oven and catch blackbeetles, + not go after foxes! My heart! + </p> + <p> + CHUBUKOV. Yes really, what sort of a hunter are you, anyway? You ought + to sit at home with your palpitations, and not go tracking animals. You + could go hunting, but you only go to argue with people and interfere + with their dogs and so on. Let’s change the subject in case I lose my + temper. You’re not a hunter at all, anyway! + </p> + <p> + LOMOV. And are you a hunter? You only go hunting to get in with the + Count and to intrigue.... Oh, my heart!... You’re an intriguer! + </p> + <p> + CHUBUKOV. What? I an intriguer? [Shouts] Shut up! + </p> + <p> + LOMOV. Intriguer! + </p> + <p> + CHUBUKOV. Boy! Pup! + </p> + <p> + LOMOV. Old rat! Jesuit! + </p> + <p> + CHUBUKOV. Shut up or I’ll shoot you like a partridge! You fool! + </p> + <p> + LOMOV. Everybody knows that—oh my heart!—your late wife used + to beat you.... My feet... temples... sparks.... I fall, I fall! + </p> + <p> + CHUBUKOV. And you’re under the slipper of your housekeeper! + </p> + <p> + LOMOV. There, there, there... my heart’s burst! My shoulder’s come + off.... Where is my shoulder? I die. [Falls into an armchair] A doctor! + [Faints.] + </p> + <p> + CHUBUKOV. Boy! Milksop! Fool! I’m sick! [Drinks water] Sick! + </p> + <p> + NATALYA STEPANOVNA. What sort of a hunter are you? You can’t even sit on + a horse! [To her father] Papa, what’s the matter with him? Papa! Look, + papa! [Screams] Ivan Vassilevitch! He’s dead! + </p> + <p> + CHUBUKOV. I’m sick!... I can’t breathe!... Air! + </p> + <p> + NATALYA STEPANOVNA. He’s dead. [Pulls LOMOV’S sleeve] Ivan Vassilevitch! + Ivan Vassilevitch! What have you done to me? He’s dead. [Falls into an + armchair] A doctor, a doctor! [Hysterics.] + </p> + <p> + CHUBUKOV. Oh!... What is it? What’s the matter? + </p> + <p> + NATALYA STEPANOVNA. [Wails] He’s dead... dead! + </p> + <p> + CHUBUKOV. Who’s dead? [Looks at LOMOV] So he is! My word! Water! A + doctor! [Lifts a tumbler to LOMOV’S mouth] Drink this!... No, he doesn’t + drink.... It means he’s dead, and all that.... I’m the most unhappy of + men! Why don’t I put a bullet into my brain? Why haven’t I cut my throat + yet? What am I waiting for? Give me a knife! Give me a pistol! [LOMOV + moves] He seems to be coming round.... Drink some water! That’s + right.... + </p> + <p> + LOMOV. I see stars... mist.... Where am I? + </p> + <p> + CHUBUKOV. Hurry up and get married and—well, to the devil with + you! She’s willing! [He puts LOMOV’S hand into his daughter’s] She’s + willing and all that. I give you my blessing and so on. Only leave me in + peace! + </p> + <p> + LOMOV. [Getting up] Eh? What? To whom? + </p> + <p> + CHUBUKOV. She’s willing! Well? Kiss and be damned to you! + </p> + <p> + NATALYA STEPANOVNA. [Wails] He’s alive... Yes, yes, I’m willing.... + </p> + <p> + CHUBUKOV. Kiss each other! + </p> + <p> + LOMOV. Eh? Kiss whom? [They kiss] Very nice, too. Excuse me, what’s it + all about? Oh, now I understand... my heart... stars... I’m happy. + Natalya Stepanovna.... [Kisses her hand] My foot’s gone to sleep.... + </p> + <p> + NATALYA STEPANOVNA. I... I’m happy too.... + </p> + <p> + CHUBUKOV. What a weight off my shoulders.... Ouf! + </p> + <p> + NATALYA STEPANOVNA. But... still you will admit now that Guess is worse + than Squeezer. + </p> + <p> + LOMOV. Better! + </p> + <p> + NATALYA STEPANOVNA. Worse! + </p> + <p> + CHUBUKOV. Well, that’s a way to start your family bliss! Have some + champagne! + </p> + <p> + LOMOV. He’s better! + </p> + <p> + NATALYA STEPANOVNA. Worse! worse! worse! + </p> + <p> + CHUBUKOV. [Trying to shout her down] Champagne! Champagne! + </p> + <p> + Curtain. + </p> + <a name="link2H_4_0004" id="link2H_4_0004"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + THE WEDDING + </h2> + CHARACTERS +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + EVDOKIM ZAHAROVITCH ZHIGALOV, a retired Civil Servant. + NASTASYA TIMOFEYEVNA, his wife + DASHENKA, their daughter + EPAMINOND MAXIMOVITCH APLOMBOV, Dashenka’s bridegroom + FYODOR YAKOVLEVITCH REVUNOV-KARAULOV, a retired captain + ANDREY ANDREYEVITCH NUNIN, an insurance agent + ANNA MARTINOVNA ZMEYUKINA, a midwife, aged 30, in a brilliantly red dress + IVAN MIHAILOVITCH YATS, a telegraphist + HARLAMPI SPIRIDONOVITCH DIMBA, a Greek confectioner + DMITRI STEPANOVITCH MOZGOVOY, a sailor of the Imperial Navy (Volunteer + Fleet) + GROOMSMEN, GENTLEMEN, WAITERS, ETC. +</pre> + <p> + The scene is laid in one of the rooms of Andronov’s Restaurant + </p> + <p> + [A brilliantly illuminated room. A large table, laid for supper. Waiters + in dress-jackets are fussing round the table. An orchestra behind the + scene is playing the music of the last figure of a quadrille.] + </p> + <p> + [ANNA MARTINOVNA ZMEYUKINA, YATS, and a GROOMSMAN cross the stage.] + </p> + <p> + ZMEYUKINA. No, no, no! + </p> + <p> + YATS. [Following her] Have pity on us! Have pity! + </p> + <p> + ZMEYUKINA. No, no, no! + </p> + <p> + GROOMSMAN. [Chasing them] You can’t go on like this! Where are you off + to? What about the <i>grand ronde? Grand ronde, s’il vous plait</i>! + [They all go off.] + </p> + <p> + [Enter NASTASYA TIMOFEYEVNA and APLOMBOV.] + </p> + <p> + NASTASYA TIMOFEYEVNA. You had much better be dancing than upsetting me + with your speeches. + </p> + <p> + APLOMBOV. I’m not a Spinosa or anybody of that sort, to go making + figures-of-eight with my legs. I am a serious man, and I have a + character, and I see no amusement in empty pleasures. But it isn’t just + a matter of dances. You must excuse me, maman, but there is a good deal + in your behaviour which I am unable to understand. For instance, in + addition to objects of domestic importance, you promised also to give + me, with your daughter, two lottery tickets. Where are they? + </p> + <p> + NASTASYA TIMOFEYEVNA. My head’s aching a little... I expect it’s on + account of the weather.... If only it thawed! + </p> + <p> + APLOMBOV. You won’t get out of it like that. I only found out to-day + that those tickets are in pawn. You must excuse me, <i>maman</i>, but + it’s only swindlers who behave like that. I’m not doing this out of + egoisticism [Note: So in the original]—I don’t want your tickets—but + on principle; and I don’t allow myself to be done by anybody. I have + made your daughter happy, and if you don’t give me the tickets to-day + I’ll make short work of her. I’m an honourable man! + </p> + <p> + NASTASYA TIMOFEYEVNA. [Looks round the table and counts up the covers] + One, two, three, four, five... + </p> + <p> + A WAITER. The cook asks if you would like the ices served with rum, + madeira, or by themselves? + </p> + <p> + APLOMBOV. With rum. And tell the manager that there’s not enough wine. + Tell him to prepare some more Haut Sauterne. [To NASTASYA TIMOFEYEVNA] + You also promised and agreed that a general was to be here to supper. + And where is he? + </p> + <p> + NASTASYA TIMOFEYEVNA. That isn’t my fault, my dear. + </p> + <p> + APLOMBOV. Whose fault, then? + </p> + <p> + NASTASYA TIMOFEYEVNA. It’s Andrey Andreyevitch’s fault.... Yesterday he + came to see us and promised to bring a perfectly real general. [Sighs] I + suppose he couldn’t find one anywhere, or he’d have brought him.... You + think we don’t mind? We’d begrudge our child nothing. A general, of + course... + </p> + <p> + APLOMBOV. But there’s more.... Everybody, including yourself, <i>maman</i>, + is aware of the fact that Yats, that telegraphist, was after Dashenka + before I proposed to her. Why did you invite him? Surely you knew it + would be unpleasant for me? + </p> + <p> + NASTASYA TIMOFEYEVNA. Oh, how can you? Epaminond Maximovitch was married + himself only the other day, and you’ve already tired me and Dashenka out + with your talk. What will you be like in a year’s time? You are horrid, + really horrid. + </p> + <p> + APLOMBOV. Then you don’t like to hear the truth? Aha! Oh, oh! Then + behave honourably. I only want you to do one thing, be honourable! + </p> + <p> + [Couples dancing the <i>grand ronde</i> come in at one door and out at + the other end. The first couple are DASHENKA with one of the GROOMSMEN. + The last are YATS and ZMEYUKINA. These two remain behind. ZHIGALOV and + DIMBA enter and go up to the table.] + </p> + <p> + GROOMSMAN. [Shouting] Promenade! Messieurs, promenade! [Behind] + Promenade! + </p> + <p> + [The dancers have all left the scene.] + </p> + <p> + YATS. [To ZMEYUKINA] Have pity! Have pity, adorable Anna Martinovna. + </p> + <p> + ZMEYUKINA. Oh, what a man!... I’ve already told you that I’ve no voice + to-day. + </p> + <p> + YATS. I implore you to sing! Just one note! Have pity! Just one note! + </p> + <p> + ZMEYUKINA. I’m tired of you.... [Sits and fans herself.] + </p> + <p> + YATS. No, you’re simply heartless! To be so cruel—if I may express + myself—and to have such a beautiful, beautiful voice! With such a + voice, if you will forgive my using the word, you shouldn’t be a + midwife, but sing at concerts, at public gatherings! For example, how + divinely you do that <i>fioritura</i>... that... [Sings] “I loved you; + love was vain then....” Exquisite! + </p> + <p> + ZMEYUKINA. [Sings] “I loved you, and may love again.” Is that it? + </p> + <p> + YATS. That’s it! Beautiful! + </p> + <p> + ZMEYUKINA. No, I’ve no voice to-day.... There, wave this fan for me... + it’s hot! [To APLOMBOV] Epaminond Maximovitch, why are you so + melancholy? A bridegroom shouldn’t be! Aren’t you ashamed of yourself, + you wretch? Well, what are you so thoughtful about? + </p> + <p> + APLOMBOV. Marriage is a serious step! Everything must be considered from + all sides, thoroughly. + </p> + <p> + ZMEYUKINA. What beastly sceptics you all are! I feel quite suffocated + with you all around.... Give me atmosphere! Do you hear? Give me + atmosphere! [Sings a few notes.] + </p> + <p> + YATS. Beautiful! Beautiful! + </p> + <p> + ZMEYUKINA. Fan me, fan me, or I feel I shall have a heart attack in a + minute. Tell me, please, why do I feel so suffocated? + </p> + <p> + YATS. It’s because you’re sweating.... + </p> + <p> + ZMEYUKINA. Foo, how vulgar you are! Don’t dare to use such words! + </p> + <p> + YATS. Beg pardon! Of course, you’re used, if I may say so, to + aristocratic society and.... + </p> + <p> + ZMEYUKINA. Oh, leave me alone! Give me poetry, delight! Fan me, fan me! + </p> + <p> + ZHIGALOV. [To DIMBA] Let’s have another, what? [Pours out] One can + always drink. So long only, Harlampi Spiridonovitch, as one doesn’t + forget one’s business. Drink and be merry.... And if you can drink at + somebody else’s expense, then why not drink? You can drink.... Your + health! [They drink] And do you have tigers in Greece? + </p> + <p> + DIMBA. Yes. + </p> + <p> + ZHIGALOV. And lions? + </p> + <p> + DIMBA. And lions too. In Russia zere’s nussing, and in Greece zere’s + everysing—my fazer and uncle and brozeres—and here zere’s + nussing. + </p> + <p> + ZHIGALOV. H’m.... And are there whales in Greece? + </p> + <p> + DIMBA. Yes, everysing. + </p> + <p> + NASTASYA TIMOFEYEVNA. [To her husband] What are they all eating and + drinking like that for? It’s time for everybody to sit down to supper. + Don’t keep on shoving your fork into the lobsters.... They’re for the + general. He may come yet.... + </p> + <p> + ZHIGALOV. And are there lobsters in Greece? + </p> + <p> + DIMBA. Yes... zere is everysing. + </p> + <p> + ZHIGALOV. Hm.... And Civil Servants. + </p> + <p> + ZMEYUKINA. I can imagine what the atmosphere is like in Greece! + </p> + <p> + ZHIGALOV. There must be a lot of swindling. The Greeks are just like the + Armenians or gipsies. They sell you a sponge or a goldfish and all the + time they are looking out for a chance of getting something extra out of + you. Let’s have another, what? + </p> + <p> + NASTASYA TIMOFEYEVNA. What do you want to go on having another for? It’s + time everybody sat down to supper. It’s past eleven. + </p> + <p> + ZHIGALOV. If it’s time, then it’s time. Ladies and gentlemen, please! + [Shouts] Supper! Young people! + </p> + <p> + NASTASYA TIMOFEYEVNA. Dear visitors, please be seated! + </p> + <p> + ZMEYUKINA. [Sitting down at the table] Give me poetry. + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + “And he, the rebel, seeks the storm, + As if the storm can give him peace.” + </pre> + <p> + Give me the storm! + </p> + <p> + YATS. [Aside] Wonderful woman! I’m in love! Up to my ears! + </p> + <p> + [Enter DASHENKA, MOZGOVOY, GROOMSMEN, various ladies and gentlemen, etc. + They all noisily seat themselves at the table. There is a minute’s + pause, while the band plays a march.] + </p> + <p> + MOZGOVOY. [Rising] Ladies and gentlemen! I must tell you this.... We are + going to have a great many toasts and speeches. Don’t let’s wait, but + begin at once. Ladies and gentlemen, the newly married! + </p> + <p> + [The band plays a flourish. Cheers. Glasses are touched. APLOMBOV and + DASHENKA kiss each other.] + </p> + <p> + YATS. Beautiful! Beautiful! I must say, ladies and gentlemen, giving + honour where it is due, that this room and the accommodation generally + are splendid! Excellent, wonderful! Only you know, there’s one thing we + haven’t got—electric light, if I may say so! Into every country + electric light has already been introduced, only Russia lags behind. + </p> + <p> + ZHIGALOV. [Meditatively] Electricity... h’m.... In my opinion electric + lighting is just a swindle.... They put a live coal in and think you + don’t see them! No, if you want a light, then you don’t take a coal, but + something real, something special, that you can get hold of! You must + have a fire, you understand, which is natural, not just an invention! + </p> + <p> + YATS. If you’d ever seen an electric battery, and how it’s made up, + you’d think differently. + </p> + <p> + ZHIGALOV. Don’t want to see one. It’s a swindle, a fraud on the + public.... They want to squeeze our last breath out of us.... We know + then, these... And, young man, instead of defending a swindle, you would + be much better occupied if you had another yourself and poured out some + for other people—yes! + </p> + <p> + APLOMBOV. I entirely agree with you, papa. Why start a learned + discussion? I myself have no objection to talking about every possible + scientific discovery, but this isn’t the time for all that! [To + DASHENKA] What do you think, <i>ma chère</i>? + </p> + <p> + DASHENKA. They want to show how educated they are, and so they always + talk about things we can’t understand. + </p> + <p> + NASTASYA TIMOFEYEVNA. Thank God, we’ve lived our time without being + educated, and here we are marrying off our third daughter to an honest + man. And if you think we’re uneducated, then what do you want to come + here for? Go to your educated friends! + </p> + <p> + YATS. I, Nastasya Timofeyevna, have always held your family in respect, + and if I did start talking about electric lighting it doesn’t mean that + I’m proud. I’ll drink, to show you. I have always sincerely wished Daria + Evdokimovna a good husband. In these days, Nastasya Timofeyevna, it is + difficult to find a good husband. Nowadays everybody is on the look-out + for a marriage where there is profit, money.... + </p> + <p> + APLOMBOV. That’s a hint! + </p> + <p> + YATS. [His courage failing] I wasn’t hinting at anything.... Present + company is always excepted.... I was only in general.... Please! + Everybody knows that you’re marrying for love... the dowry is quite + trifling. + </p> + <p> + NASTASYA TIMOFEYEVNA. No, it isn’t trifling! You be careful what you + say. Besides a thousand roubles of good money, we’re giving three + dresses, the bed, and all the furniture. You won’t find another dowry + like that in a hurry! + </p> + <p> + YATS. I didn’t mean... The furniture’s splendid, of course, and... and + the dresses, but I never hinted at what they are getting offended at. + </p> + <p> + NASTASYA TIMOFEYEVNA. Don’t you go making hints. We respect you on + account of your parents, and we’ve invited you to the wedding, and here + you go talking. If you knew that Epaminond Maximovitch was marrying for + profit, why didn’t you say so before? [Tearfully] I brought her up, I + fed her, I nursed her.... I cared for her more than if she was an + emerald jewel, my little girl.... + </p> + <p> + APLOMBOV. And you go and believe him? Thank you so much! I’m very + grateful to you! [To YATS] And as for you, Mr. Yats, although you are + acquainted with me, I shan’t allow you to behave like this in another’s + house. Please get out of this! + </p> + <p> + YATS. What do you mean? + </p> + <p> + APLOMBOV. I want you to be as straightforward as I am! In short, please + get out! [Band plays a flourish] + </p> + <p> + THE GENTLEMEN. Leave him alone! Sit down! Is it worth it! Let him be! + Stop it now! + </p> + <p> + YATS. I never... I... I don’t understand.... Please, I’ll go.... Only + you first give me the five roubles which you borrowed from me last year + on the strength of a <i>piqué</i> waistcoat, if I may say so. Then I’ll + just have another drink and... go, only give me the money first. + </p> + <p> + VARIOUS GENTLEMEN. Sit down! That’s enough! Is it worth it, just for + such trifles? + </p> + <p> + A GROOMSMAN. [Shouts] The health of the bride’s parents, Evdokim + Zaharitch and Nastasya Timofeyevna! [Band plays a flourish. Cheers.] + </p> + <p> + ZHIGALOV. [Bows in all directions, in great emotion] I thank you! Dear + guests! I am very grateful to you for not having forgotten and for + having conferred this honour upon us without being standoffish And you + must not think that I’m a rascal, or that I’m trying to swindle anybody. + I’m speaking from my heart—from the purity of my soul! I wouldn’t + deny anything to good people! We thank you very humbly! [Kisses.] + </p> + <p> + DASHENKA. [To her mother] Mama, why are you crying? I’m so happy! + </p> + <p> + APLOMBOV. <i>Maman</i> is disturbed at your coming separation. But I + should advise her rather to remember the last talk we had. + </p> + <p> + YATS. Don’t cry, Nastasya Timofeyevna! Just think what are human tears, + anyway? Just petty psychiatry, and nothing more! + </p> + <p> + ZMEYUKINA. And are there any red-haired men in Greece? + </p> + <p> + DIMBA. Yes, everysing is zere. + </p> + <p> + ZHIGALOV. But you don’t have our kinds of mushroom. + </p> + <p> + DIMBA. Yes, we’ve got zem and everysing. + </p> + <p> + MOZGOVOY. Harlampi Spiridonovitch, it’s your turn to speak! Ladies and + gentlemen, a speech! + </p> + <p> + ALL. [To DIMBA] Speech! speech! Your turn! + </p> + <p> + DIMBA. Why? I don’t understand.... What is it! + </p> + <p> + ZMEYUKINA. No, no! You can’t refuse! It’s you turn! Get up! + </p> + <p> + DIMBA. [Gets up, confused] I can’t say what... Zere’s Russia and zere’s + Greece. Zere’s people in Russia and people in Greece.... And zere’s + people swimming the sea in karavs, which mean sips, and people on the + land in railway trains. I understand. We are Greeks and you are + Russians, and I want nussing.... I can tell you... zere’s Russia and + zere’s Greece... + </p> + <p> + [Enter NUNIN.] + </p> + <p> + NUNIN. Wait, ladies and gentlemen, don’t eat now! Wait! Just one minute, + Nastasya Timofeyevna! Just come here, if you don’t mind! [Takes NASTASYA + TIMOFEYEVNA aside, puffing] Listen... The General’s coming... I found + one at last.... I’m simply worn out.... A real General, a solid one—old, + you know, aged perhaps eighty, or even ninety. + </p> + <p> + NASTASYA TIMOFEYEVNA. When is he coming? + </p> + <p> + NUNIN. This minute. You’ll be grateful to me all your life. [Note: A few + lines have been omitted: they refer to the “General’s” rank and its + civil equivalent in words for which the English language has no + corresponding terms. The “General” is an ex-naval officer, a + second-class captain.] + </p> + <p> + NASTASYA TIMOFEYEVNA. You’re not deceiving me, Andrey darling? + </p> + <p> + NUNIN. Well, now, am I a swindler? You needn’t worry! + </p> + <p> + NASTASYA TIMOFEYEVNA. [Sighs] One doesn’t like to spend money for + nothing, Andrey darling! + </p> + <p> + NUNIN. Don’t you worry! He’s not a general, he’s a dream! [Raises his + voice] I said to him: “You’ve quite forgotten us, your Excellency! It + isn’t kind of your Excellency to forget your old friends! Nastasya + Timofeyevna,” I said to him, “she’s very annoyed with you about it!” + [Goes and sits at the table] And he says to me: “But, my friend, how can + I go when I don’t know the bridegroom?” “Oh, nonsense, your excellency, + why stand on ceremony? The bridegroom,” I said to him, “he’s a fine + fellow, very free and easy. He’s a valuer,” I said, “at the Law courts, + and don’t you think, your excellency, that he’s some rascal, some knave + of hearts. Nowadays,” I said to him, “even decent women are employed at + the Law courts.” He slapped me on the shoulder, we smoked a Havana cigar + each, and now he’s coming.... Wait a little, ladies and gentlemen, don’t + eat.... + </p> + <p> + APLOMBOV. When’s he coming? + </p> + <p> + NUNIN. This minute. When I left him he was already putting on his + goloshes. Wait a little, ladies and gentlemen, don’t eat yet. + </p> + <p> + APLOMBOV. The band should be told to play a march. + </p> + <p> + NUNIN. [Shouts] Musicians! A march! [The band plays a march for a + minute.] + </p> + <p> + A WAITER. Mr. Revunov-Karaulov! + </p> + <p> + [ZHIGALOV, NASTASYA TIMOFEYEVNA, and NUNIN run to meet him. Enter + REVUNOV-KARAULOV.] + </p> + <p> + NASTASYA TIMOFEYEVNA. [Bowing] Please come in, your excellency! So glad + you’ve come! + </p> + <p> + REVUNOV. Awfully! + </p> + <p> + ZHIGALOV. We, your excellency, aren’t celebrities, we aren’t important, + but quite ordinary, but don’t think on that account that there’s any + fraud. We put good people into the best place, we begrudge nothing. + Please! + </p> + <p> + REVUNOV. Awfully glad! + </p> + <p> + NUNIN. Let me introduce to you, your excellency, the bridegroom, + Epaminond Maximovitch Aplombov, with his newly born... I mean his newly + married wife! Ivan Mihailovitch Yats, employed on the telegraph! A + foreigner of Greek nationality, a confectioner by trade, Harlampi + Spiridonovitch Dimba! Osip Lukitch Babelmandebsky! And so on, and so + on.... The rest are just trash. Sit down, your excellency! + </p> + <p> + REVUNOV. Awfully! Excuse me, ladies and gentlemen, I just want to say + two words to Andrey. [Takes NUNIN aside] I say, old man, I’m a little + put out.... Why do you call me your excellency? I’m not a general! I + don’t rank as the equivalent of a colonel, even. + </p> + <p> + NUNIN. [Whispers] I know, only, Fyodor Yakovlevitch, be a good man and + let us call you your excellency! The family here, you see, is + patriarchal; it respects the aged, it likes rank. + </p> + <p> + REVUNOV. Oh, if it’s like that, very well.... [Goes to the table] + Awfully! + </p> + <p> + NASTASYA TIMOFEYEVNA. Sit down, your excellency! Be so good as to have + some of this, your excellency! Only forgive us for not being used to + etiquette; we’re plain people! + </p> + <p> + REVUNOV. [Not hearing] What? Hm... yes. [Pause] Yes.... In the old days + everybody used to live simply and was happy. In spite of my rank, I am a + man who lives plainly. To-day Andrey comes to me and asks me to come + here to the wedding. “How shall I go,” I said, “when I don’t know them? + It’s not good manners!” But he says: “They are good, simple, patriarchal + people, glad to see anybody.” Well, if that’s the case... why not? Very + glad to come. It’s very dull for me at home by myself, and if my + presence at a wedding can make anybody happy, then I’m delighted to be + here.... + </p> + <p> + ZHIGALOV. Then that’s sincere, is it, your excellency? I respect that! + I’m a plain man myself, without any deception, and I respect others who + are like that. Eat, your excellency! + </p> + <p> + APLOMBOV. Is it long since you retired, your excellency? + </p> + <p> + REVUNOV. Eh? Yes, yes.... Quite true.... Yes. But, excuse me, what is + this? The fish is sour... and the bread is sour. I can’t eat this! + [APLOMBOV and DASHENKA kiss each other] He, he, he... Your health! + [Pause] Yes.... In the old days everything was simple and everybody was + glad.... I love simplicity.... I’m an old man. I retired in 1865. I’m + 72. Yes, of course, in my younger days it was different, but—[Sees + MOZGOVOY] You there... a sailor, are you? + </p> + <p> + MOZGOVOY. Yes, just so. + </p> + <p> + REVUNOV. Aha, so... yes. The navy means hard work. There’s a lot to + think about and get a headache over. Every insignificant word has, so to + speak, its special meaning! For instance, “Hoist her top-sheets and + mainsail!” What’s it mean? A sailor can tell! He, he!—With almost + mathematical precision! + </p> + <p> + NUNIN. The health of his excellency Fyodor Yakovlevitch + Revunov-Karaulov! [Band plays a flourish. Cheers.] + </p> + <p> + YATS. You, your excellency, have just expressed yourself on the subject + of the hard work involved in a naval career. But is telegraphy any + easier? Nowadays, your excellency, nobody is appointed to the telegraphs + if he cannot read and write French and German. But the transmission of + telegrams is the most difficult thing of all. Awfully difficult! Just + listen. + </p> + <p> + [Taps with his fork on the table, like a telegraphic transmitter.] + </p> + <p> + REVUNOV. What does that mean? + </p> + <p> + YATS. It means, “I honour you, your excellency, for your virtues.” You + think it’s easy? Listen now. [Taps.] + </p> + <p> + REVUNOV. Louder; I can’t hear.... + </p> + <p> + YATS. That means, “Madam, how happy I am to hold you in my embraces!” + </p> + <p> + REVUNOV. What madam are you talking about? Yes.... [To MOZGOVOY] Yes, if + there’s a head-wind you must... let’s see... you must hoist your foretop + halyards and topsail halyards! The order is: “On the cross-trees to the + foretop halyards and topsail halyards” and at the same time, as the + sails get loose, you take hold underneath of the foresail and + fore-topsail halyards, stays and braces. + </p> + <p> + A GROOMSMAN. [Rising] Ladies and gentlemen... + </p> + <p> + REVUNOV. [Cutting him short] Yes... there are a great many orders to + give. “Furl the fore-topsail and the foretop-gallant sail!!” Well, what + does that mean? It’s very simple! It means that if the top and + top-gallant sails are lifting the halyards, they must level the foretop + and foretop-gallant halyards on the hoist and at the same time the + top-gallants braces, as needed, are loosened according to the direction + of the wind... + </p> + <p> + NUNIN. [To REVUNOV] Fyodor Yakovlevitch, Mme. Zhigalov asks you to talk + about something else. It’s very dull for the guests, who can’t + understand.... + </p> + <p> + REVUNOV. What? Who’s dull? [To MOZGOVOY] Young man! Now suppose the ship + is lying by the wind, on the starboard tack, under full sail, and you’ve + got to bring her before the wind. What’s the order? Well, first you + whistle up above! He, he! + </p> + <p> + NUNIN. Fyodor Yakovlevitch, that’s enough. Eat something. + </p> + <p> + REVUNOV. As soon as the men are on deck you give the order, “To your + places!” What a life! You give orders, and at the same time you’ve got + to keep your eyes on the sailors, who run about like flashes of + lightning and get the sails and braces right. And at last you can’t + restrain yourself, and you shout, “Good children!” [He chokes and + coughs.] + </p> + <p> + A GROOMSMAN. [Making haste to use the ensuing pause to advantage] On + this occasion, so to speak, on the day on which we have met together to + honour our dear... + </p> + <p> + REVUNOV. [Interrupting] Yes, you’ve got to remember all that! For + instance, “Hoist the topsail halyards. Lower the topsail gallants!” + </p> + <p> + THE GROOMSMAN. [Annoyed] Why does he keep on interrupting? We shan’t get + through a single speech like that! + </p> + <p> + NASTASYA TIMOFEYEVNA. We are dull people, your excellency, and don’t + understand a word of all that, but if you were to tell us something + appropriate... + </p> + <p> + REVUNOV. [Not hearing] I’ve already had supper, thank you. Did you say + there was goose? Thanks... yes. I’ve remembered the old days.... It’s + pleasant, young man! You sail on the sea, you have no worries, and [In + an excited tone of voice] do you remember the joy of tacking? Is there a + sailor who doesn’t glow at the memory of that manoeuvre? As soon as the + word is given and the whistle blown and the crew begins to go up—it’s + as if an electric spark has run through them all. From the captain to + the cabin-boy, everybody’s excited. + </p> + <p> + ZMEYUKINA. How dull! How dull! [General murmur.] + </p> + <p> + REVUNOV. [Who has not heard it properly] Thank you, I’ve had supper. + [With enthusiasm] Everybody’s ready, and looks to the senior officer. He + gives the command: “Stand by, gallants and topsail braces on the + starboard side, main and counter-braces to port!” Everything’s done in a + twinkling. Top-sheets and jib-sheets are pulled... taken to starboard. + [Stands up] The ship takes the wind and at last the sails fill out. The + senior officer orders, “To the braces,” and himself keeps his eye on the + mainsail, and when at last this sail is filling out and the ship begins + to turn, he yells at the top of his voice, “Let go the braces! Loose the + main halyards!” Everything flies about, there’s a general confusion for + a moment—and everything is done without an error. The ship has + been tacked! + </p> + <p> + NASTASYA TIMOFEYEVNA. [Exploding] General, your manners.... You ought to + be ashamed of yourself, at your age! + </p> + <p> + REVUNOV. Did you say sausage? No, I haven’t had any... thank you. + </p> + <p> + NASTASYA TIMOFEYEVNA. [Loudly] I say you ought to be ashamed of yourself + at your age! General, your manners are awful! + </p> + <p> + NUNIN. [Confused] Ladies and gentlemen, is it worth it? Really... + </p> + <p> + REVUNOV. In the first place, I’m not a general, but a second-class naval + captain, which, according to the table of precedence, corresponds to a + lieutenant-colonel. + </p> + <p> + NASTASYA TIMOFEYEVNA. If you’re not a general, then what did you go and + take our money for? We never paid you money to behave like that! + </p> + <p> + REVUNOV. [Upset] What money? + </p> + <p> + NASTASYA TIMOFEYEVNA. You know what money. You know that you got 25 + roubles from Andrey Andreyevitch.... [To NUNIN] And you look out, + Andrey! I never asked you to hire a man like that! + </p> + <p> + NUNIN. There now... let it drop. Is it worth it? + </p> + <p> + REVUNOV. Paid... hired.... What is it? + </p> + <p> + APLOMBOV. Just let me ask you this. Did you receive 25 roubles from + Andrey Andreyevitch? + </p> + <p> + REVUNOV. What 25 roubles? [Suddenly realizing] That’s what it is! Now I + understand it all.... How mean! How mean! + </p> + <p> + APLOMBOV. Did you take the money? + </p> + <p> + REVUNOV. I haven’t taken any money! Get away from me! [Leaves the table] + How mean! How low! To insult an old man, a sailor, an officer who has + served long and faithfully! If you were decent people I could call + somebody out, but what can I do now? [Absently] Where’s the door? Which + way do I go? Waiter, show me the way out! Waiter! [Going] How mean! How + low! [Exit.] + </p> + <p> + NASTASYA TIMOFEYEVNA. Andrey, where are those 25 roubles? + </p> + <p> + NUNIN. Is it worth while bothering about such trifles? What does it + matter! Everybody’s happy here, and here you go.... [Shouts] The health + of the bride and bridegroom! A march! A march! [The band plays a march] + The health of the bride and bridegroom! + </p> + <p> + ZMEYUKINA. I’m suffocating! Give me atmosphere! I’m suffocating with you + all round me! + </p> + <p> + YATS. [In a transport of delight] My beauty! My beauty! [Uproar.] + </p> + <p> + A GROOMSMAN. [Trying to shout everybody else down] Ladies and gentlemen! + On this occasion, if I may say so... + </p> + <p> + Curtain. + </p> + <a name="link2H_4_0005" id="link2H_4_0005"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + THE BEAR + </h2> + CHARACTERS +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + ELENA IVANOVNA POPOVA, a landowning little widow, with dimples on her + cheeks + GRIGORY STEPANOVITCH SMIRNOV, a middle-aged landowner + LUKA, Popova’s aged footman +</pre> + <p> + [A drawing-room in POPOVA’S house.] + </p> + <p> + [POPOVA is in deep mourning and has her eyes fixed on a photograph. LUKA + is haranguing her.] + </p> + <p> + LUKA. It isn’t right, madam.... You’re just destroying yourself. The + maid and the cook have gone off fruit picking, every living being is + rejoicing, even the cat understands how to enjoy herself and walks about + in the yard, catching midges; only you sit in this room all day, as if + this was a convent, and don’t take any pleasure. Yes, really! I reckon + it’s a whole year that you haven’t left the house! + </p> + <p> + POPOVA. I shall never go out.... Why should I? My life is already at an + end. He is in his grave, and I have buried myself between four walls.... + We are both dead. + </p> + <p> + LUKA. Well, there you are! Nicolai Mihailovitch is dead, well, it’s the + will of God, and may his soul rest in peace.... You’ve mourned him—and + quite right. But you can’t go on weeping and wearing mourning for ever. + My old woman died too, when her time came. Well? I grieved over her, I + wept for a month, and that’s enough for her, but if I’ve got to weep for + a whole age, well, the old woman isn’t worth it. [Sighs] You’ve + forgotten all your neighbours. You don’t go anywhere, and you see + nobody. We live, so to speak, like spiders, and never see the light. The + mice have eaten my livery. It isn’t as if there were no good people + around, for the district’s full of them. There’s a regiment quartered at + Riblov, and the officers are such beauties—you can never gaze your + fill at them. And, every Friday, there’s a ball at the camp, and every + day the soldier’s band plays.... Eh, my lady! You’re young and + beautiful, with roses in your cheek—if you only took a little + pleasure. Beauty won’t last long, you know. In ten years’ time you’ll + want to be a pea-hen yourself among the officers, but they won’t look at + you, it will be too late. + </p> + <p> + POPOVA. [With determination] I must ask you never to talk to me about + it! You know that when Nicolai Mihailovitch died, life lost all its + meaning for me. I vowed never to the end of my days to cease to wear + mourning, or to see the light.... You hear? Let his ghost see how well I + love him.... Yes, I know it’s no secret to you that he was often unfair + to me, cruel, and... and even unfaithful, but I shall be true till + death, and show him how I can love. There, beyond the grave, he will see + me as I was before his death.... + </p> + <p> + LUKA. Instead of talking like that you ought to go and have a walk in + the garden, or else order Toby or Giant to be harnessed, and then drive + out to see some of the neighbours. + </p> + <p> + POPOVA. Oh! [Weeps.] + </p> + <p> + LUKA. Madam! Dear madam! What is it? Bless you! + </p> + <p> + POPOVA. He was so fond of Toby! He always used to ride on him to the + Korchagins and Vlasovs. How well he could ride! What grace there was in + his figure when he pulled at the reins with all his strength! Do you + remember? Toby, Toby! Tell them to give him an extra feed of oats. + </p> + <p> + LUKA. Yes, madam. [A bell rings noisily.] + </p> + <p> + POPOVA. [Shaking] Who’s that? Tell them that I receive nobody. + </p> + <p> + LUKA. Yes, madam. [Exit.] + </p> + <p> + POPOVA. [Looks at the photograph] You will see, Nicolas, how I can love + and forgive.... My love will die out with me, only when this poor heart + will cease to beat. [Laughs through her tears] And aren’t you ashamed? I + am a good and virtuous little wife. I’ve locked myself in, and will be + true to you till the grave, and you... aren’t you ashamed, you bad + child? You deceived me, had rows with me, left me alone for weeks on + end.... + </p> + <p> + [LUKA enters in consternation.] + </p> + <p> + LUKA. Madam, somebody is asking for you. He wants to see you.... + </p> + <p> + POPOVA. But didn’t you tell him that since the death of my husband I’ve + stopped receiving? + </p> + <p> + LUKA. I did, but he wouldn’t even listen; says that it’s a very pressing + affair. + </p> + <p> + POPOVA. I do not re-ceive! + </p> + <p> + LUKA. I told him so, but the... the devil... curses and pushes himself + right in.... He’s in the dining-room now. + </p> + <p> + POPOVA. [Annoyed] Very well, ask him in.... What manners! [Exit LUKA] + How these people annoy me! What does he want of me? Why should he + disturb my peace? [Sighs] No, I see that I shall have to go into a + convent after all. [Thoughtfully] Yes, into a convent.... [Enter LUKA + with SMIRNOV.] + </p> + <p> + SMIRNOV. [To LUKA] You fool, you’re too fond of talking.... Ass! [Sees + POPOVA and speaks with respect] Madam, I have the honour to present + myself, I am Grigory Stepanovitch Smirnov, landowner and retired + lieutenant of artillery! I am compelled to disturb you on a very + pressing affair. + </p> + <p> + POPOVA. [Not giving him her hand] What do you want? + </p> + <p> + SMIRNOV. Your late husband, with whom I had the honour of being + acquainted, died in my debt for one thousand two hundred roubles, on two + bills of exchange. As I’ve got to pay the interest on a mortgage + to-morrow, I’ve come to ask you, madam, to pay me the money to-day. + </p> + <p> + POPOVA. One thousand two hundred.... And what was my husband in debt to + you for? + </p> + <p> + SMIRNOV. He used to buy oats from me. + </p> + <p> + POPOVA. [Sighing, to LUKA] So don’t you forget, Luka, to give Toby an + extra feed of oats. [Exit LUKA] If Nicolai Mihailovitch died in debt to + you, then I shall certainly pay you, but you must excuse me to-day, as I + haven’t any spare cash. The day after to-morrow my steward will be back + from town, and I’ll give him instructions to settle your account, but at + the moment I cannot do as you wish.... Moreover, it’s exactly seven + months to-day since the death of my husband, and I’m in a state of mind + which absolutely prevents me from giving money matters my attention. + </p> + <p> + SMIRNOV. And I’m in a state of mind which, if I don’t pay the interest + due to-morrow, will force me to make a graceful exit from this life feet + first. They’ll take my estate! + </p> + <p> + POPOVA. You’ll have your money the day after to-morrow. + </p> + <p> + SMIRNOV. I don’t want the money the day after tomorrow, I want it + to-day. + </p> + <p> + POPOVA. You must excuse me, I can’t pay you. + </p> + <p> + SMIRNOV. And I can’t wait till after to-morrow. + </p> + <p> + POPOVA. Well, what can I do, if I haven’t the money now! + </p> + <p> + SMIRNOV. You mean to say, you can’t pay me? + </p> + <p> + POPOVA. I can’t. + </p> + <p> + SMIRNOV. Hm! Is that the last word you’ve got to say? + </p> + <p> + POPOVA. Yes, the last word. + </p> + <p> + SMIRNOV. The last word? Absolutely your last? + </p> + <p> + POPOVA. Absolutely. + </p> + <p> + SMIRNOV. Thank you so much. I’ll make a note of it. [Shrugs his + shoulders] And then people want me to keep calm! I meet a man on the + road, and he asks me “Why are you always so angry, Grigory + Stepanovitch?” But how on earth am I not to get angry? I want the money + desperately. I rode out yesterday, early in the morning, and called on + all my debtors, and not a single one of them paid up! I was just about + dead-beat after it all, slept, goodness knows where, in some inn, kept + by a Jew, with a vodka-barrel by my head. At last I get here, seventy + versts from home, and hope to get something, and I am received by you + with a “state of mind”! How shouldn’t I get angry. + </p> + <p> + POPOVA. I thought I distinctly said my steward will pay you when he + returns from town. + </p> + <p> + SMIRNOV. I didn’t come to your steward, but to you! What the devil, + excuse my saying so, have I to do with your steward! + </p> + <p> + POPOVA. Excuse me, sir, I am not accustomed to listen to such + expressions or to such a tone of voice. I want to hear no more. [Makes a + rapid exit.] + </p> + <p> + SMIRNOV. Well, there! “A state of mind.”... “Husband died seven months + ago!” Must I pay the interest, or mustn’t I? I ask you: Must I pay, or + must I not? Suppose your husband is dead, and you’ve got a state of + mind, and nonsense of that sort.... And your steward’s gone away + somewhere, devil take him, what do you want me to do? Do you think I can + fly away from my creditors in a balloon, or what? Or do you expect me to + go and run my head into a brick wall? I go to Grusdev and he isn’t at + home, Yaroshevitch has hidden himself, I had a violent row with Kuritsin + and nearly threw him out of the window, Mazugo has something the matter + with his bowels, and this woman has “a state of mind.” Not one of the + swine wants to pay me! Just because I’m too gentle with them, because + I’m a rag, just weak wax in their hands! I’m much too gentle with them! + Well, just you wait! You’ll find out what I’m like! I shan’t let you + play about with me, confound it! I shall jolly well stay here until she + pays! Brr!... How angry I am to-day, how angry I am! All my inside is + quivering with anger, and I can’t even breathe.... Foo, my word, I even + feel sick! [Yells] Waiter! + </p> + <p> + [Enter LUKA.] + </p> + <p> + LUKA. What is it? + </p> + <p> + SMIRNOV. Get me some kvass or water! [Exit LUKA] What a way to reason! A + man is in desperate need of his money, and she won’t pay it because, you + see, she is not disposed to attend to money matters!... That’s real + silly feminine logic. That’s why I never did like, and don’t like now, + to have to talk to women. I’d rather sit on a barrel of gunpowder than + talk to a woman. Brr!... I feel quite chilly—and it’s all on + account of that little bit of fluff! I can’t even see one of these + poetic creatures from a distance without breaking out into a cold sweat + out of sheer anger. I can’t look at them. [Enter LUKA with water.] + </p> + <p> + LUKA. Madam is ill and will see nobody. + </p> + <p> + SMIRNOV. Get out! [Exit LUKA] Ill and will see nobody! No, it’s all + right, you don’t see me.... I’m going to stay and will sit here till you + give me the money. You can be ill for a week, if you like, and I’ll stay + here for a week.... If you’re ill for a year—I’ll stay for a year. + I’m going to get my own, my dear! You don’t get at me with your widow’s + weeds and your dimpled cheeks! I know those dimples! [Shouts through the + window] Simeon, take them out! We aren’t going away at once! I’m staying + here! Tell them in the stable to give the horses some oats! You fool, + you’ve let the near horse’s leg get tied up in the reins again! + [Teasingly] “Never mind....” I’ll give it you. “Never mind.” [Goes away + from the window] Oh, it’s bad.... The heat’s frightful, nobody pays up. + I slept badly, and on top of everything else here’s a bit of fluff in + mourning with “a state of mind.”... My head’s aching.... Shall I have + some vodka, what? Yes, I think I will. [Yells] Waiter! + </p> + <p> + [Enter LUKA.] + </p> + <p> + LUKA. What is it? + </p> + <p> + SMIRNOV. A glass of vodka! [Exit LUKA] Ouf! [Sits and inspects himself] + I must say I look well! Dust all over, boots dirty, unwashed, unkempt, + straw on my waistcoat.... The dear lady may well have taken me for a + brigand. [Yawns] It’s rather impolite to come into a drawing-room in + this state, but it can’t be helped.... I am not here as a visitor, but + as a creditor, and there’s no dress specially prescribed for + creditors.... + </p> + <p> + [Enter LUKA with the vodka.] + </p> + <p> + LUKA. You allow yourself to go very far, sir.... + </p> + <p> + SMIRNOV [Angrily] What? + </p> + <p> + LUKA. I... er... nothing... I really... + </p> + <p> + SMIRNOV. Whom are you talking to? Shut up! + </p> + <p> + LUKA. [Aside] The devil’s come to stay.... Bad luck that brought him.... + [Exit.] + </p> + <p> + SMIRNOV. Oh, how angry I am! So angry that I think I could grind the + whole world to dust.... I even feel sick.... [Yells] Waiter! + </p> + <p> + [Enter POPOVA.] + </p> + <p> + POPOVA. [Her eyes downcast] Sir, in my solitude I have grown + unaccustomed to the masculine voice, and I can’t stand shouting. I must + ask you not to disturb my peace. + </p> + <p> + SMIRNOV. Pay me the money, and I’ll go. + </p> + <p> + POPOVA. I told you perfectly plainly; I haven’t any money to spare; wait + until the day after to-morrow. + </p> + <p> + SMIRNOV. And I told you perfectly plainly I don’t want the money the day + after to-morrow, but to-day. If you don’t pay me to-day, I’ll have to + hang myself to-morrow. + </p> + <p> + POPOVA. But what can I do if I haven’t got the money? You’re so strange! + </p> + <p> + SMIRNOV. Then you won’t pay me now? Eh? + </p> + <p> + POPOVA. I can’t. + </p> + <p> + SMIRNOV. In that case I stay here and shall wait until I get it. [Sits + down] You’re going to pay me the day after to-morrow? Very well! I’ll + stay here until the day after to-morrow. I’ll sit here all the time.... + [Jumps up] I ask you: Have I got to pay the interest to-morrow, or + haven’t I? Or do you think I’m doing this for a joke? + </p> + <p> + POPOVA. Please don’t shout! This isn’t a stable! + </p> + <p> + SMIRNOV. I wasn’t asking you about a stable, but whether I’d got my + interest to pay to-morrow or not? + </p> + <p> + POPOVA. You don’t know how to behave before women! + </p> + <p> + SMIRNOV. No, I do know how to behave before women! + </p> + <p> + POPOVA. No, you don’t! You’re a rude, ill-bred man! Decent people don’t + talk to a woman like that! + </p> + <p> + SMIRNOV. What a business! How do you want me to talk to you? In French, + or what? [Loses his temper and lisps] <i>Madame, je vous prie</i>.... + How happy I am that you don’t pay me.... Ah, pardon. I have disturbed + you! Such lovely weather to-day! And how well you look in mourning! + [Bows.] + </p> + <p> + POPOVA. That’s silly and rude. + </p> + <p> + SMIRNOV. [Teasing her] Silly and rude! I don’t know how to behave before + women! Madam, in my time I’ve seen more women than you’ve seen sparrows! + Three times I’ve fought duels on account of women. I’ve refused twelve + women, and nine have refused me! Yes! There was a time when I played the + fool, scented myself, used honeyed words, wore jewellery, made beautiful + bows. I used to love, to suffer, to sigh at the moon, to get sour, to + thaw, to freeze.... I used to love passionately, madly, every blessed + way, devil take me; I used to chatter like a magpie about emancipation, + and wasted half my wealth on tender feelings, but now—you must + excuse me! You won’t get round me like that now! I’ve had enough! Black + eyes, passionate eyes, ruby lips, dimpled cheeks, the moon, whispers, + timid breathing—I wouldn’t give a brass farthing for the lot, + madam! Present company always excepted, all women, great or little, are + insincere, crooked, backbiters, envious, liars to the marrow of their + bones, vain, trivial, merciless, unreasonable, and, as far as this is + concerned [taps his forehead] excuse my outspokenness, a sparrow can + give ten points to any philosopher in petticoats you like to name! You + look at one of these poetic creatures: all muslin, an ethereal + demi-goddess, you have a million transports of joy, and you look into + her soul—and see a common crocodile! [He grips the back of a + chair; the chair creaks and breaks] But the most disgusting thing of all + is that this crocodile for some reason or other imagines that its chef + d’oeuvre, its privilege and monopoly, is its tender feelings. Why, + confound it, hang me on that nail feet upwards, if you like, but have + you met a woman who can love anybody except a lapdog? When she’s in + love, can she do anything but snivel and slobber? While a man is + suffering and making sacrifices all her love expresses itself in her + playing about with her scarf, and trying to hook him more firmly by the + nose. You have the misfortune to be a woman, you know from yourself what + is the nature of woman. Tell me truthfully, have you ever seen a woman + who was sincere, faithful, and constant? You haven’t! Only freaks and + old women are faithful and constant! You’ll meet a cat with a horn or a + white woodcock sooner than a constant woman! + </p> + <p> + POPOVA. Then, according to you, who is faithful and constant in love? Is + it the man? + </p> + <p> + SMIRNOV. Yes, the man! + </p> + <p> + POPOVA. The man! [Laughs bitterly] Men are faithful and constant in + love! What an idea! [With heat] What right have you to talk like that? + Men are faithful and constant! Since we are talking about it, I’ll tell + you that of all the men I knew and know, the best was my late + husband.... I loved him passionately with all my being, as only a young + and imaginative woman can love, I gave him my youth, my happiness, my + life, my fortune, I breathed in him, I worshipped him as if I were a + heathen, and... and what then? This best of men shamelessly deceived me + at every step! After his death I found in his desk a whole drawerful of + love-letters, and when he was alive—it’s an awful thing to + remember!—he used to leave me alone for weeks at a time, and make + love to other women and betray me before my very eyes; he wasted my + money, and made fun of my feelings.... And, in spite of all that, I + loved him and was true to him. And not only that, but, now that he is + dead, I am still true and constant to his memory. I have shut myself for + ever within these four walls, and will wear these weeds to the very + end.... + </p> + <p> + SMIRNOV. [Laughs contemptuously] Weeds!... I don’t understand what you + take me for. As if I don’t know why you wear that black domino and bury + yourself between four walls! I should say I did! It’s so mysterious, so + poetic! When some junker [Note: So in the original.] or some tame poet + goes past your windows he’ll think: “There lives the mysterious Tamara + who, for the love of her husband, buried herself between four walls.” We + know these games! + </p> + <p> + POPOVA. [Exploding] What? How dare you say all that to me? + </p> + <p> + SMIRNOV. You may have buried yourself alive, but you haven’t forgotten + to powder your face! + </p> + <p> + POPOVA. How dare you speak to me like that? + </p> + <p> + SMIRNOV. Please don’t shout, I’m not your steward! You must allow me to + call things by their real names. I’m not a woman, and I’m used to saying + what I think straight out! Don’t you shout, either! + </p> + <p> + POPOVA. I’m not shouting, it’s you! Please leave me alone! + </p> + <p> + SMIRNOV. Pay me my money and I’ll go. + </p> + <p> + POPOVA. I shan’t give you any money! + </p> + <p> + SMIRNOV. Oh, no, you will. + </p> + <p> + POPOVA. I shan’t give you a farthing, just to spite you. You leave me + alone! + </p> + <p> + SMIRNOV. I have not the pleasure of being either your husband or your + fiancé, so please don’t make scenes. [Sits] I don’t like it. + </p> + <p> + POPOVA. [Choking with rage] So you sit down? + </p> + <p> + SMIRNOV. I do. + </p> + <p> + POPOVA. I ask you to go away! + </p> + <p> + SMIRNOV. Give me my money.... [Aside] Oh, how angry I am! How angry I + am! + </p> + <p> + POPOVA. I don’t want to talk to impudent scoundrels! Get out of this! + [Pause] Aren’t you going? No? + </p> + <p> + SMIRNOV. No. + </p> + <p> + POPOVA. No? + </p> + <p> + SMIRNOV. No! + </p> + <p> + POPOVA. Very well then! [Rings, enter LUKA] Luka, show this gentleman + out! + </p> + <p> + LUKA. [Approaches SMIRNOV] Would you mind going out, sir, as you’re + asked to! You needn’t... + </p> + <p> + SMIRNOV. [Jumps up] Shut up! Who are you talking to? I’ll chop you into + pieces! + </p> + <p> + LUKA. [Clutches at his heart] Little fathers!... What people!... [Falls + into a chair] Oh, I’m ill, I’m ill! I can’t breathe! + </p> + <p> + POPOVA. Where’s Dasha? Dasha! [Shouts] Dasha! Pelageya! Dasha! [Rings.] + </p> + <p> + LUKA. Oh! They’ve all gone out to pick fruit.... There’s nobody at home! + I’m ill! Water! + </p> + <p> + POPOVA. Get out of this, now. + </p> + <p> + SMIRNOV. Can’t you be more polite? + </p> + <p> + POPOVA. [Clenches her fists and stamps her foot] You’re a boor! A coarse + bear! A Bourbon! A monster! + </p> + <p> + SMIRNOV. What? What did you say? + </p> + <p> + POPOVA. I said you are a bear, a monster! + </p> + <p> + SMIRNOV. [Approaching her] May I ask what right you have to insult me? + </p> + <p> + POPOVA. And suppose I am insulting you? Do you think I’m afraid of you? + </p> + <p> + SMIRNOV. And do you think that just because you’re a poetic creature you + can insult me with impunity? Eh? We’ll fight it out! + </p> + <p> + LUKA. Little fathers!... What people!... Water! + </p> + <p> + SMIRNOV. Pistols! + </p> + <p> + POPOVA. Do you think I’m afraid of you just because you have large fists + and a bull’s throat? Eh? You Bourbon! + </p> + <p> + SMIRNOV. We’ll fight it out! I’m not going to be insulted by anybody, + and I don’t care if you are a woman, one of the “softer sex,” indeed! + </p> + <p> + POPOVA. [Trying to interrupt him] Bear! Bear! Bear! + </p> + <p> + SMIRNOV. It’s about time we got rid of the prejudice that only men need + pay for their insults. Devil take it, if you want equality of rights you + can have it. We’re going to fight it out! + </p> + <p> + POPOVA. With pistols? Very well! + </p> + <p> + SMIRNOV. This very minute. + </p> + <p> + POPOVA. This very minute! My husband had some pistols.... I’ll bring + them here. [Is going, but turns back] What pleasure it will give me to + put a bullet into your thick head! Devil take you! [Exit.] + </p> + <p> + SMIRNOV. I’ll bring her down like a chicken! I’m not a little boy or a + sentimental puppy; I don’t care about this “softer sex.” + </p> + <p> + LUKA. Gracious little fathers!... [Kneels] Have pity on a poor old man, + and go away from here! You’ve frightened her to death, and now you want + to shoot her! + </p> + <p> + SMIRNOV. [Not hearing him] If she fights, well that’s equality of + rights, emancipation, and all that! Here the sexes are equal! I’ll shoot + her on principle! But what a woman! [Parodying her] “Devil take you! + I’ll put a bullet into your thick head.” Eh? How she reddened, how her + cheeks shone!... She accepted my challenge! My word, it’s the first time + in my life that I’ve seen.... + </p> + <p> + LUKA. Go away, sir, and I’ll always pray to God for you! + </p> + <p> + SMIRNOV. She is a woman! That’s the sort I can understand! A real woman! + Not a sour-faced jellybag, but fire, gunpowder, a rocket! I’m even sorry + to have to kill her! + </p> + <p> + LUKA. [Weeps] Dear... dear sir, do go away! + </p> + <p> + SMIRNOV. I absolutely like her! Absolutely! Even though her cheeks are + dimpled, I like her! I’m almost ready to let the debt go... and I’m not + angry any longer.... Wonderful woman! + </p> + <p> + [Enter POPOVA with pistols.] + </p> + <p> + POPOVA. Here are the pistols.... But before we fight you must show me + how to fire. I’ve never held a pistol in my hands before. + </p> + <p> + LUKA. Oh, Lord, have mercy and save her.... I’ll go and find the + coachman and the gardener.... Why has this infliction come on us.... + [Exit.] + </p> + <p> + SMIRNOV. [Examining the pistols] You see, there are several sorts of + pistols.... There are Mortimer pistols, specially made for duels, they + fire a percussion-cap. These are Smith and Wesson revolvers, triple + action, with extractors.... These are excellent pistols. They can’t cost + less than ninety roubles the pair.... You must hold the revolver like + this.... [Aside] Her eyes, her eyes! What an inspiring woman! + </p> + <p> + POPOVA. Like this? + </p> + <p> + SMIRNOV. Yes, like this.... Then you cock the trigger, and take aim like + this.... Put your head back a little! Hold your arm out properly.... + Like that.... Then you press this thing with your finger—and + that’s all. The great thing is to keep cool and aim steadily.... Try not + to jerk your arm. + </p> + <p> + POPOVA. Very well.... It’s inconvenient to shoot in a room, let’s go + into the garden. + </p> + <p> + SMIRNOV. Come along then. But I warn you, I’m going to fire in the air. + </p> + <p> + POPOVA. That’s the last straw! Why? + </p> + <p> + SMIRNOV. Because... because... it’s my affair. + </p> + <p> + POPOVA. Are you afraid? Yes? Ah! No, sir, you don’t get out of it! You + come with me! I shan’t have any peace until I’ve made a hole in your + forehead... that forehead which I hate so much! Are you afraid? + </p> + <p> + SMIRNOV. Yes, I am afraid. + </p> + <p> + POPOVA. You lie! Why won’t you fight? + </p> + <p> + SMIRNOV. Because... because you... because I like you. + </p> + <p> + POPOVA. [Laughs] He likes me! He dares to say that he likes me! [Points + to the door] That’s the way. + </p> + <p> + SMIRNOV. [Loads the revolver in silence, takes his cap and goes to the + door. There he stops for half a minute, while they look at each other in + silence, then he hesitatingly approaches POPOVA] Listen.... Are you + still angry? I’m devilishly annoyed, too... but, do you understand... + how can I express myself?... The fact is, you see, it’s like this, so to + speak.... [Shouts] Well, is it my fault that I like you? [He snatches at + the back of a chair; the chair creaks and breaks] Devil take it, how I’m + smashing up your furniture! I like you! Do you understand? I... I almost + love you! + </p> + <p> + POPOVA. Get away from me—I hate you! + </p> + <p> + SMIRNOV. God, what a woman! I’ve never in my life seen one like her! I’m + lost! Done for! Fallen into a mousetrap, like a mouse! + </p> + <p> + POPOVA. Stand back, or I’ll fire! + </p> + <p> + SMIRNOV. Fire, then! You can’t understand what happiness it would be to + die before those beautiful eyes, to be shot by a revolver held in that + little, velvet hand.... I’m out of my senses! Think, and make up your + mind at once, because if I go out we shall never see each other again! + Decide now.... I am a landowner, of respectable character, have an + income of ten thousand a year. I can put a bullet through a coin tossed + into the air as it comes down.... I own some fine horses.... Will you be + my wife? + </p> + <p> + POPOVA. [Indignantly shakes her revolver] Let’s fight! Let’s go out! + </p> + <p> + SMIRNOV. I’m mad.... I understand nothing. [Yells] Waiter, water! + </p> + <p> + POPOVA. [Yells] Let’s go out and fight! + </p> + <p> + SMIRNOV. I’m off my head, I’m in love like a boy, like a fool! [Snatches + her hand, she screams with pain] I love you! [Kneels] I love you as I’ve + never loved before! I’ve refused twelve women, nine have refused me, but + I never loved one of them as I love you.... I’m weak, I’m wax, I’ve + melted.... I’m on my knees like a fool, offering you my hand.... Shame, + shame! I haven’t been in love for five years, I’d taken a vow, and now + all of a sudden I’m in love, like a fish out of water! I offer you my + hand. Yes or no? You don’t want me? Very well! [Gets up and quickly goes + to the door.] + </p> + <p> + POPOVA. Stop. + </p> + <p> + SMIRNOV. [Stops] Well? + </p> + <p> + POPOVA. Nothing, go away.... No, stop.... No, go away, go away! I hate + you! Or no.... Don’t go away! Oh, if you knew how angry I am, how angry + I am! [Throws her revolver on the table] My fingers have swollen because + of all this.... [Tears her handkerchief in temper] What are you waiting + for? Get out! + </p> + <p> + SMIRNOV. Good-bye. + </p> + <p> + POPOVA. Yes, yes, go away!... [Yells] Where are you going? Stop.... No, + go away. Oh, how angry I am! Don’t come near me, don’t come near me! + </p> + <p> + SMIRNOV. [Approaching her] How angry I am with myself! I’m in love like + a student, I’ve been on my knees.... [Rudely] I love you! What do I want + to fall in love with you for? To-morrow I’ve got to pay the interest, + and begin mowing, and here you.... [Puts his arms around her] I shall + never forgive myself for this.... + </p> + <p> + POPOVA. Get away from me! Take your hands away! I hate you! Let’s go and + fight! + </p> + <p> + [A prolonged kiss. Enter LUKA with an axe, the GARDENER with a rake, the + COACHMAN with a pitchfork, and WORKMEN with poles.] + </p> + <p> + LUKA. [Catches sight of the pair kissing] Little fathers! [Pause.] + </p> + <p> + POPOVA. [Lowering her eyes] Luka, tell them in the stables that Toby + isn’t to have any oats at all to-day. + </p> + <p> + Curtain. + </p> + <a name="link2H_4_0006" id="link2H_4_0006"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + A TRAGEDIAN IN SPITE OF HIMSELF + </h2> + CHARACTERS +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + IVAN IVANOVITCH TOLKACHOV, the father of a family + ALEXEY ALEXEYEVITCH MURASHKIN, his friend +</pre> + <p> + The scene is laid in St. Petersburg, in MURASHKIN’S flat + </p> + <p> + [MURASHKIN’S study. Comfortable furniture. MURASHKIN is seated at his + desk. Enter TOLKACHOV holding in his hands a glass globe for a lamp, a + toy bicycle, three hat-boxes, a large parcel containing a dress, a + bin-case of beer, and several little parcels. He looks round stupidly + and lets himself down on the sofa in exhaustion.] + </p> + <p> + MURASHKIN. How do you do, Ivan Ivanovitch? Delighted to see you! What + brings you here? + </p> + <p> + TOLKACHOV. [Breathing heavily] My dear good fellow... I want to ask you + something.... I implore you lend me a revolver till to-morrow. Be a + friend! + </p> + <p> + MURASHKIN. What do you want a revolver for? + </p> + <p> + TOLKACHOV. I must have it.... Oh, little fathers!... give me some + water... water quickly!... I must have it... I’ve got to go through a + dark wood to-night, so in case of accidents... do, please, lend it to + me. + </p> + <p> + MURASHKIN. Oh, you liar, Ivan Ivanovitch! What the devil have you got to + do in a dark wood? I expect you are up to something. I can see by your + face that you are up to something. What’s the matter with you? Are you + ill? + </p> + <p> + TOLKACHOV. Wait a moment, let me breathe.... Oh little mothers! I am + dog-tired. I’ve got a feeling all over me, and in my head as well, as if + I’ve been roasted on a spit. I can’t stand it any longer. Be a friend, + and don’t ask me any questions or insist on details; just give me the + revolver! I beseech you! + </p> + <p> + MURASHKIN. Well, really! Ivan Ivanovitch, what cowardice is this? The + father of a family and a Civil Servant holding a responsible post! For + shame! + </p> + <p> + TOLKACHOV. What sort of a father of a family am I! I am a martyr. I am a + beast of burden, a nigger, a slave, a rascal who keeps on waiting here + for something to happen instead of starting off for the next world. I am + a rag, a fool, an idiot. Why am I alive? What’s the use? [Jumps up] Well + now, tell me why am I alive? What’s the purpose of this uninterrupted + series of mental and physical sufferings? I understand being a martyr to + an idea, yes! But to be a martyr to the devil knows what, skirts and + lamp-globes, no! I humbly decline! No, no, no! I’ve had enough! Enough! + </p> + <p> + MURASHKIN. Don’t shout, the neighbours will hear you! + </p> + <p> + TOLKACHOV. Let your neighbours hear; it’s all the same to me! If you + don’t give me a revolver somebody else will, and there will be an end of + me anyway! I’ve made up my mind! + </p> + <p> + MURASHKIN. Hold on, you’ve pulled off a button. Speak calmly. I still + don’t understand what’s wrong with your life. + </p> + <p> + TOLKACHOV. What’s wrong? You ask me what’s wrong? Very well, I’ll tell + you! Very well! I’ll tell you everything, and then perhaps my soul will + be lighter. Let’s sit down. Now listen... Oh, little mothers, I am out + of breath!... Just let’s take to-day as an instance. Let’s take to-day. + As you know, I’ve got to work at the Treasury from ten to four. It’s + hot, it’s stuffy, there are flies, and, my dear fellow, the very dickens + of a chaos. The Secretary is on leave, Khrapov has gone to get married, + and the smaller fry is mostly in the country, making love or occupied + with amateur theatricals. Everybody is so sleepy, tired, and done up + that you can’t get any sense out of them. The Secretary’s duties are in + the hands of an individual who is deaf in the left ear and in love; the + public has lost its memory; everybody is running about angry and raging, + and there is such a hullabaloo that you can’t hear yourself speak. + Confusion and smoke everywhere. And my work is deathly: always the same, + always the same—first a correction, then a reference back, another + correction, another reference back; it’s all as monotonous as the waves + of the sea. One’s eyes, you understand, simply crawl out of one’s head. + Give me some water.... You come out a broken, exhausted man. You would + like to dine and fall asleep, but you don’t!—You remember that you + live in the country—that is, you are a slave, a rag, a bit of + string, a bit of limp flesh, and you’ve got to run round and do errands. + Where we live a pleasant custom has grown up: when a man goes to town + every wretched female inhabitant, not to mention one’s own wife, has the + power and the right to give him a crowd of commissions. The wife orders + you to run into the modiste’s and curse her for making a bodice too wide + across the chest and too narrow across the shoulders; little Sonya wants + a new pair of shoes; your sister-in-law wants some scarlet silk like the + pattern at twenty copecks and three arshins long.... Just wait; I’ll + read you. [Takes a note out of his pocket and reads] A globe for the + lamp; one pound of pork sausages; five copecks’ worth of cloves and + cinnamon; castor-oil for Misha; ten pounds of granulated sugar. To bring + with you from home: a copper jar for the sugar; carbolic acid; insect + powder, ten copecks’ worth; twenty bottles of beer; vinegar; and corsets + for Mlle. Shanceau at No. 82.... Ouf! And to bring home Misha’s winter + coat and goloshes. That is the order of my wife and family. Then there + are the commissions of our dear friends and neighbours—devil take + them! To-morrow is the name-day of Volodia Vlasin; I have to buy a + bicycle for him. The wife of Lieutenant-Colonel Virkhin is in an + interesting condition, and I am therefore bound to call in at the + midwife’s every day and invite her to come. And so on, and so on. There + are five notes in my pocket and my handkerchief is all knots. And so, my + dear fellow, you spend the time between your office and your train, + running about the town like a dog with your tongue hanging out, running + and running and cursing life. From the clothier’s to the chemist’s, from + the chemist’s to the modiste’s, from the modiste’s to the pork + butcher’s, and then back again to the chemist’s. In one place you + stumble, in a second you lose your money, in a third you forget to pay + and they raise a hue and cry after you, in a fourth you tread on the + train of a lady’s dress.... Tfoo! You get so shaken up from all this + that your bones ache all night and you dream of crocodiles. Well, you’ve + made all your purchases, but how are you to pack all these things? For + instance, how are you to put a heavy copper jar together with the + lamp-globe or the carbolic acid with the tea? How are you to make a + combination of beer-bottles and this bicycle? It’s the labours of + Hercules, a puzzle, a rebus! Whatever tricks you think of, in the long + run you’re bound to smash or scatter something, and at the station and + in the train you have to stand with your arms apart, holding up some + parcel or other under your chin, with parcels, cardboard boxes, and + such-like rubbish all over you. The train starts, the passengers begin + to throw your luggage about on all sides: you’ve got your things on + somebody else’s seat. They yell, they call for the conductor, they + threaten to have you put out, but what can I do? I just stand and blink + my eyes like a whacked donkey. Now listen to this. I get home. You think + I’d like to have a nice little drink after my righteous labours and a + good square meal—isn’t that so?—but there is no chance of + that. My spouse has been on the look-out for me for some time. You’ve + hardly started on your soup when she has her claws into you, wretched + slave that you are—and wouldn’t you like to go to some amateur + theatricals or to a dance? You can’t protest. You are a husband, and the + word husband when translated into the language of summer residents in + the country means a dumb beast which you can load to any extent without + fear of the interference of the Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to + Animals. So you go and blink at “A Family Scandal” or something, you + applaud when your wife tells you to, and you feel worse and worse and + worse until you expect an apoplectic fit to happen any moment. If you go + to a dance you have to find partners for your wife, and if there is a + shortage of them then you dance the quadrilles yourself. You get back + from the theatre or the dance after midnight, when you are no longer a + man but a useless, limp rag. Well, at last you’ve got what you want; you + unrobe and get into bed. It’s excellent—you can close your eyes + and sleep.... Everything is so nice, poetic, and warm, you understand; + there are no children squealing behind the wall, and you’ve got rid of + your wife, and your conscience is clear—what more can you want? + You fall asleep—and suddenly... you hear a buzz!... Gnats! [Jumps + up] Gnats! Be they triply accursed Gnats! [Shakes his fist] Gnats! It’s + one of the plagues of Egypt, one of the tortures of the Inquisition! + Buzz! It sounds so pitiful, so pathetic, as if it’s begging your pardon, + but the villain stings so that you have to scratch yourself for an hour + after. You smoke, and go for them, and cover yourself from head to foot, + but it is no good! At last you have to sacrifice yourself and let the + cursed things devour you. You’ve no sooner got used to the gnats when + another plague begins: downstairs your wife begins practising + sentimental songs with her two friends. They sleep by day and rehearse + for amateur concerts by night. Oh, my God! Those tenors are a torture + with which no gnats on earth can compare. [He sings] “Oh, tell me not my + youth has ruined you.” “Before thee do I stand enchanted.” Oh, the + beastly things! They’ve about killed me! So as to deafen myself a little + I do this: I drum on my ears. This goes on till four o’clock. Oh, give + me some more water, brother!... I can’t... Well, not having slept, you + get up at six o’clock in the morning and off you go to the station. You + run so as not to be late, and it’s muddy, foggy, cold—brr! Then + you get to town and start all over again. So there, brother. It’s a + horrible life; I wouldn’t wish one like it for my enemy. You understand—I’m + ill! Got asthma, heartburn—I’m always afraid of something. I’ve + got indigestion, everything is thick before me... I’ve become a regular + psychopath.... [Looking round] Only, between ourselves, I want to go + down to see Chechotte or Merzheyevsky. There’s some devil in me, + brother. In moments of despair and suffering, when the gnats are + stinging or the tenors sing, everything suddenly grows dim; you jump up + and race round the whole house like a lunatic and shout, “I want blood! + Blood!” And really all the time you do want to let a knife into somebody + or hit him over the head with a chair. That’s what life in a summer + villa leads to! And nobody has any sympathy for me, and everybody seems + to think it’s all as it should be. People even laugh. But understand, I + am a living being and I want to live! This isn’t farce, it’s tragedy! I + say, if you don’t give me your revolver, you might at any rate + sympathize. + </p> + <p> + MURASHKIN. I do sympathize. + </p> + <p> + TOLKACHOV. I see how much you sympathize.... Good-bye. I’ve got to buy + some anchovies and some sausage... and some tooth-powder, and then to + the station. + </p> + <p> + MURASHKIN. Where are you living? + </p> + <p> + TOLKACHOV. At Carrion River. + </p> + <p> + MURASHKIN. [Delighted] Really? Then you’ll know Olga Pavlovna Finberg, + who lives there? + </p> + <p> + TOLKACHOV. I know her. We are even acquainted. + </p> + <p> + MURASHKIN. How perfectly splendid! That’s so convenient, and it would be + so good of you... + </p> + <p> + TOLKACHOV. What’s that? + </p> + <p> + MURASHKIN. My dear fellow, wouldn’t you do one little thing for me? Be a + friend! Promise me now. + </p> + <p> + TOLKACHOV. What’s that? + </p> + <p> + MURASHKIN. It would be such a friendly action! I implore you, my dear + man. In the first place, give Olga Pavlovna my very kind regards. In the + second place, there’s a little thing I’d like you to take down to her. + She asked me to get a sewing-machine but I haven’t anybody to send it + down to her by.... You take it, my dear! And you might at the same time + take down this canary in its cage... only be careful, or you’ll break + the door.... What are you looking at me like that for? + </p> + <p> + TOLKACHOV. A sewing-machine... a canary in a cage... siskins, + chaffinches... + </p> + <p> + MURASHKIN. Ivan Ivanovitch, what’s the matter with you? Why are you + turning purple? + </p> + <p> + TOLKACHOV. [Stamping] Give me the sewing-machine! Where’s the bird-cage? + Now get on top yourself! Eat me! Tear me to pieces! Kill me! [Clenching + his fists] I want blood! Blood! Blood! + </p> + <p> + MURASHKIN. You’ve gone mad! + </p> + <p> + TOLKACHOV. [Treading on his feet] I want blood! Blood! + </p> + <p> + MURASHKIN. [In horror] He’s gone mad! [Shouts] Peter! Maria! Where are + you? Help! + </p> + <p> + TOLKACHOV. [Chasing him round the room] I want blood! Blood! + </p> + <p> + Curtain. + </p> + <a name="link2H_4_0007" id="link2H_4_0007"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + THE ANNIVERSARY + </h2> + CHARACTERS +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + ANDREY ANDREYEVITCH SHIPUCHIN, Chairman of the N—— Joint Stock + Bank, a middle-aged man, with a monocle + TATIANA ALEXEYEVNA, his wife, aged 25 + KUSMA NICOLAIEVITCH KHIRIN, the bank’s aged book-keeper + NASTASYA FYODOROVNA MERCHUTKINA, an old woman wearing an old-fashioned + cloak + DIRECTORS OF THE BANK + EMPLOYEES OF THE BANK +</pre> + <p> + The action takes place at the Bank + </p> + <p> + [The private office of the Chairman of Directors. On the left is a door, + leading into the public department. There are two desks. The furniture + aims at a deliberately luxurious effect, with armchairs covered in + velvet, flowers, statues, carpets, and a telephone. It is midday. KHIRIN + is alone; he wears long felt boots, and is shouting through the door.] + </p> + <p> + KHIRIN. Send out to the chemist for 15 copecks’ worth of valerian drops, + and tell them to bring some drinking water into the Directors’ office! + This is the hundredth time I’ve asked! [Goes to a desk] I’m absolutely + tired out. This is the fourth day I’ve been working, without a chance of + shutting my eyes. From morning to evening I work here, from evening to + morning at home. [Coughs] And I’ve got an inflammation all over me. I’m + hot and cold, and I cough, and my legs ache, and there’s something + dancing before my eyes. [Sits] Our scoundrel of a Chairman, the brute, + is going to read a report at a general meeting. “Our Bank, its Present + and Future.” You’d think he was a Gambetta.... [At work] Two... one... + one... six... nought... seven.... Next, six... nought... one... six.... + He just wants to throw dust into people’s eyes, and so I sit here and + work for him like a galley-slave! This report of his is poetic fiction + and nothing more, and here I’ve got to sit day after day and add + figures, devil take his soul! [Rattles on his counting-frame] I can’t + stand it! [Writing] That is, one... three... seven... two... one... + nought.... He promised to reward me for my work. If everything goes well + to-day and the public is properly put into blinkers, he’s promised me a + gold charm and 300 roubles bonus.... We’ll see. [Works] Yes, but if my + work all goes for nothing, then you’d better look out.... I’m very + excitable.... If I lose my temper I’m capable of committing some crime, + so look out! Yes! + </p> + <p> + [Noise and applause behind the scenes. SHIPUCHIN’S voice: “Thank you! + Thank you! I am extremely grateful.” Enter SHIPUCHIN. He wears a + frockcoat and white tie; he carries an album which has been just + presented to him.] + </p> + <p> + SHIPUCHIN. [At the door, addresses the outer office] This present, my + dear colleagues, will be preserved to the day of my death, as a memory + of the happiest days of my life! Yes, gentlemen! Once more, I thank you! + [Throws a kiss into the air and turns to KHIRIN] My dear, my respected + Kusma Nicolaievitch! + </p> + <p> + [All the time that SHIPUCHIN is on the stage, clerks intermittently come + in with papers for his signature and go out.] + </p> + <p> + KHIRIN. [Standing up] I have the honour to congratulate you, Andrey + Andreyevitch, on the fiftieth anniversary of our Bank, and hope that... + </p> + <p> + SHIPUCHIN. [Warmly shakes hands] Thank you, my dear sir! Thank you! I + think that in view of the unique character of the day, as it is an + anniversary, we may kiss each other!... [They kiss] I am very, very + glad! Thank you for your service... for everything! If, in the course of + the time during which I have had the honour to be Chairman of this Bank + anything useful has been done, the credit is due, more than to anybody + else, to my colleagues. [Sighs] Yes, fifteen years! Fifteen years as my + name’s Shipuchin! [Changes his tone] Where’s my report? Is it getting + on? + </p> + <p> + KHIRIN. Yes; there’s only five pages left. + </p> + <p> + SHIPUCHIN. Excellent. Then it will be ready by three? + </p> + <p> + KHIRIN. If nothing occurs to disturb me, I’ll get it done. Nothing of + any importance is now left. + </p> + <p> + SHIPUCHIN. Splendid. Splendid, as my name’s Shipuchin! The general + meeting will be at four. If you please, my dear fellow. Give me the + first half, I’ll peruse it.... Quick.... [Takes the report] I base + enormous hopes on this report. It’s my <i>profession de foi</i>, or, + better still, my firework. [Note: The actual word employed.] My + firework, as my name’s Shipuchin! [Sits and reads the report to himself] + I’m hellishly tired.... My gout kept on giving me trouble last night, + all the morning I was running about, and then these excitements, + ovations, agitations... I’m tired! + </p> + <p> + KHIRIN. Two... nought... nought... three... nine... two... nought. I + can’t see straight after all these figures.... Three... one... six... + four... one... five.... [Uses the counting-frame.] + </p> + <p> + SHIPUCHIN. Another unpleasantness.... This morning your wife came to see + me and complained about you once again. Said that last night you + threatened her and her sister with a knife. Kusma Nicolaievitch, what do + you mean by that? Oh, oh! + </p> + <p> + KHIRIN. [Rudely] As it’s an anniversary, Andrey Andreyevitch, I’ll ask + for a special favour. Please, even if it’s only out of respect for my + toil, don’t interfere in my family life. Please! + </p> + <p> + SHIPUCHIN. [Sighs] Yours is an impossible character, Kusma + Nicolaievitch! You’re an excellent and respected man, but you behave to + women like some scoundrel. Yes, really. I don’t understand why you hate + them so? + </p> + <p> + KHIRIN. I wish I could understand why you love them so! [Pause.] + </p> + <p> + SHIPUCHIN. The employees have just presented me with an album; and the + Directors, as I’ve heard, are going to give me an address and a silver + loving-cup.... [Playing with his monocle] Very nice, as my name’s + Shipuchin! It isn’t excessive. A certain pomp is essential to the + reputation of the Bank, devil take it! You know everything, of + course.... I composed the address myself, and I bought the cup myself, + too.... Well, then there was 45 roubles for the cover of the address, + but you can’t do without that. They’d never have thought of it for + themselves. [Looks round] Look at the furniture! Just look at it! They + say I’m stingy, that all I want is that the locks on the doors should be + polished, that the employees should wear fashionable ties, and that a + fat hall-porter should stand by the door. No, no, sirs. Polished locks + and a fat porter mean a good deal. I can behave as I like at home, eat + and sleep like a pig, get drunk.... + </p> + <p> + KHIRIN. Please don’t make hints. + </p> + <p> + SHIPUCHIN. Nobody’s making hints! What an impossible character yours + is.... As I was saying, at home I can live like a tradesman, a <i>parvenu</i>, + and be up to any games I like, but here everything must be <i>en grand</i>. + This is a Bank! Here every detail must <i>imponiren</i>, so to speak, + and have a majestic appearance. [He picks up a paper from the floor and + throws it into the fireplace] My service to the Bank has been just this—I’ve + raised its reputation. A thing of immense importance is tone! Immense, + as my name’s Shipuchin! [Looks over KHIRIN] My dear man, a deputation of + shareholders may come here any moment, and there you are in felt boots, + wearing a scarf... in some absurdly coloured jacket.... You might have + put on a frock-coat, or at any rate a dark jacket.... + </p> + <p> + KHIRIN. My health matters more to me than your shareholders. I’ve an + inflammation all over me. + </p> + <p> + SHIPUCHIN. [Excitedly] But you will admit that it’s untidy! You spoil + the <i>ensemble</i>! + </p> + <p> + KHIRIN. If the deputation comes I can go and hide myself. It won’t + matter if... seven... one... seven... two... one... five... nought. I + don’t like untidiness myself.... Seven... two... nine... [Uses the + counting-frame] I can’t stand untidiness! It would have been wiser of + you not to have invited ladies to to-day’s anniversary dinner.... + </p> + <p> + SHIPUCHIN. Oh, that’s nothing. + </p> + <p> + KHIRIN. I know that you’re going to have the hall filled with them + to-night to make a good show, but you look out, or they’ll spoil + everything. They cause all sorts of mischief and disorder. + </p> + <p> + SHIPUCHIN. On the contrary, feminine society elevates! + </p> + <p> + KHIRIN. Yes.... Your wife seems intelligent, but on the Monday of last + week she let something off that upset me for two days. In front of a lot + of people she suddenly asks: “Is it true that at our Bank my husband + bought up a lot of the shares of the Driazhsky-Priazhsky Bank, which + have been falling on exchange? My husband is so annoyed about it!” This + in front of people. Why do you tell them everything, I don’t understand. + Do you want them to get you into serious trouble? + </p> + <p> + SHIPUCHIN. Well, that’s enough, enough! All that’s too dull for an + anniversary. Which reminds me, by the way. [Looks at the time] My wife + ought to be here soon. I really ought to have gone to the station, to + meet the poor little thing, but there’s no time.... and I’m tired. I + must say I’m not glad of her! That is to say, I am glad, but I’d be + gladder if she only stayed another couple of days with her mother. + She’ll want me to spend the whole evening with her to-night, whereas we + have arranged a little excursion for ourselves.... [Shivers] Oh, my + nerves have already started dancing me about. They are so strained that + I think the very smallest trifle would be enough to make me break into + tears! No, I must be strong, as my name’s Shipuchin! + </p> + <p> + [Enter TATIANA ALEXEYEVNA SHIPUCHIN in a waterproof, with a little + travelling satchel slung across her shoulder.] + </p> + <p> + SHIPUCHIN. Ah! In the nick of time! + </p> + <p> + TATIANA ALEXEYEVNA. Darling! + </p> + <p> + [Runs to her husband: a prolonged kiss.] + </p> + <p> + SHIPUCHIN. We were only speaking of you just now! [Looks at his watch.] + </p> + <p> + TATIANA ALEXEYEVNA. [Panting] Were you very dull without me? Are you + well? I haven’t been home yet, I came here straight from the station. + I’ve a lot, a lot to tell you.... I couldn’t wait.... I shan’t take off + my clothes, I’ll only stay a minute. [To KHIRIN] Good morning, Kusma + Nicolaievitch! [To her husband] Is everything all right at home? + </p> + <p> + SHIPUCHIN. Yes, quite. And, you know, you’ve got to look plumper and + better this week.... Well, what sort of a time did you have? + </p> + <p> + TATIANA ALEXEYEVNA. Splendid. Mamma and Katya send their regards. + Vassili Andreitch sends you a kiss. [Kisses him] Aunt sends you a jar of + jam, and is annoyed because you don’t write. Zina sends you a kiss. + [Kisses.] Oh, if you knew what’s happened. If you only knew! I’m even + frightened to tell you! Oh, if you only knew! But I see by your eyes + that you’re sorry I came! + </p> + <p> + SHIPUCHIN. On the contrary.... Darling.... [Kisses her.] + </p> + <p> + [KHIRIN coughs angrily.] + </p> + <p> + TATIANA ALEXEYEVNA. Oh, poor Katya, poor Katya! I’m so sorry for her, so + sorry for her. + </p> + <p> + SHIPUCHIN. This is the Bank’s anniversary to-day, darling, we may get a + deputation of the shareholders at any moment, and you’re not dressed. + </p> + <p> + TATIANA ALEXEYEVNA. Oh, yes, the anniversary! I congratulate you, + gentlemen. I wish you.... So it means that to-day’s the day of the + meeting, the dinner.... That’s good. And do you remember that beautiful + address which you spent such a long time composing for the shareholders? + Will it be read to-day? + </p> + <p> + [KHIRIN coughs angrily.] + </p> + <p> + SHIPUCHIN. [Confused] My dear, we don’t talk about these things. You’d + really better go home. + </p> + <p> + TATIANA ALEXEYEVNA. In a minute, in a minute. I’ll tell you everything + in one minute and go. I’ll tell you from the very beginning. Well.... + When you were seeing me off, you remember I was sitting next to that + stout lady, and I began to read. I don’t like to talk in the train. I + read for three stations and didn’t say a word to anyone.... Well, then + the evening set in, and I felt so mournful, you know, with such sad + thoughts! A young man was sitting opposite me—not a bad-looking + fellow, a brunette.... Well, we fell into conversation.... A sailor came + along then, then some student or other.... [Laughs] I told them that I + wasn’t married... and they did look after me! We chattered till + midnight, the brunette kept on telling the most awfully funny stories, + and the sailor kept on singing. My chest began to ache from laughing. + And when the sailor—oh, those sailors!—when he got to know + my name was TATIANA, you know what he sang? [Sings in a bass voice] + “Onegin don’t let me conceal it, I love Tatiana madly!” [Note: From the + Opera <i>Evgeni Onegin</i>—words by Pushkin.] [Roars with + laughter.] + </p> + <p> + [KHIRIN coughs angrily.] + </p> + <p> + SHIPUCHIN. Tania, dear, you’re disturbing Kusma Nicolaievitch. Go home, + dear.... Later on.... + </p> + <p> + TATIANA ALEXEYEVNA. No, no, let him hear if he wants to, it’s awfully + interesting. I’ll end in a minute. Serezha came to meet me at the + station. Some young man or other turns up, an inspector of taxes, I + think... quite handsome, especially his eyes.... Serezha introduced me, + and the three of us rode off together.... It was lovely weather.... + </p> + <p> + [Voices behind the stage: “You can’t, you can’t! What do you want?” + Enter MERCHUTKINA, waving her arms about.] + </p> + <p> + MERCHUTKINA. What are you dragging at me for. What else! I want him + himself! [To SHIPUCHIN] I have the honour, your excellency... I am the + wife of a civil servant, Nastasya Fyodorovna Merchutkina. + </p> + <p> + SHIPUCHIN. What do you want? + </p> + <p> + MERCHUTKINA. Well, you see, your excellency, my husband has been ill for + five months, and while he was at home, getting better, he was suddenly + dismissed for no reason, your excellency, and when I went to get his + salary, they, you see, deducted 24 roubles 36 copecks from it. What for? + I ask. They said, “Well, he drew it from the employees’ account, and the + others had to make it up.” How can that be? How could he draw anything + without my permission? No, your excellency! I’m a poor woman... my + lodgers are all I have to live on.... I’m weak and defenceless.... + Everybody does me some harm, and nobody has a kind word for me. + </p> + <p> + SHIPUCHIN. Excuse me. [Takes a petition from her and reads it standing.] + </p> + <p> + TATIANA ALEXEYEVNA. [To KHIRIN] Yes, but first we.... Last week I + suddenly received a letter from my mother. She writes that a certain + Grendilevsky has proposed to my sister Katya. A nice, modest, young man, + but with no means of his own, and no assured position. And, + unfortunately, just think of it, Katya is absolutely gone on him. What’s + to be done? Mamma writes telling me to come at once and influence + Katya.... + </p> + <p> + KHIRIN. [Angrily] Excuse me, you’ve made me lose my place! You go + talking about your mamma and Katya, and I understand nothing; and I’ve + lost my place. + </p> + <p> + TATIANA ALEXEYEVNA. What does that matter? You listen when a lady is + talking to you! Why are you so angry to-day? Are you in love? [Laughs.] + </p> + <p> + SHIPUCHIN. [To MERCHUTKINA] Excuse me, but what is this? I can’t make + head or tail of it. + </p> + <p> + TATIANA ALEXEYEVNA. Are you in love? Aha! You’re blushing! + </p> + <p> + SHIPUCHIN. [To his wife] Tanya, dear, do go out into the public office + for a moment. I shan’t be long. + </p> + <p> + TATIANA ALEXEYEVNA. All right. [Goes out.] + </p> + <p> + SHIPUCHIN. I don’t understand anything of this. You’ve obviously come to + the wrong place, madam. Your petition doesn’t concern us at all. You + should go to the department in which your husband was employed. + </p> + <p> + MERCHUTKINA. I’ve been there a good many times these five months, and + they wouldn’t even look at my petition. I’d given up all hopes, but, + thanks to my son-in-law, Boris Matveyitch, I thought of coming to you. + “You go, mother,” he says, “and apply to Mr. Shipuchin, he’s an + influential man and can do anything.” Help me, your excellency! + </p> + <p> + SHIPUCHIN. We can’t do anything for you, Mrs. Merchutkina. You must + understand that your husband, so far as I can gather, was in the employ + of the Army Medical Department, while this is a private, commercial + concern, a bank. Don’t you understand that? + </p> + <p> + MERCHUTKINA. Your excellency, I can produce a doctor’s certificate of my + husband’s illness. Here it is, just look at it.... + </p> + <p> + SHIPUCHIN. [Irritated] That’s all right; I quite believe you, but it’s + not our business. [Behind the scene, TATIANA ALEXEYEVNA’S laughter is + heard, then a man’s. SHIPUCHIN glances at the door] She’s disturbing the + employees. [To MERCHUTKINA] It’s strange and it’s even silly. Surely + your husband knows where you ought to apply? + </p> + <p> + MERCHUTKINA. Your excellency, I don’t let him know anything. He just + cried out: “It isn’t your business! Get out of this!” And... + </p> + <p> + SHIPUCHIN. Madam, I repeat, your husband was in the employ of the Army + Medical Department, and this is a bank, a private, commercial concern. + </p> + <p> + MERCHUTKINA. Yes, yes, yes.... I understand, my dear. In that case, your + excellency, just order them to pay me 15 roubles! I don’t mind taking + that to be going on with. + </p> + <p> + SHIPUCHIN. [Sighs] Ouf! + </p> + <p> + KHIRIN. Andrey Andreyevitch, I’ll never finish the report at this rate! + </p> + <p> + SHIPUCHIN. One moment. [To MERCHUTKINA] I can’t get any sense out of + you. But do understand that your taking this business here is as absurd + as if you took a divorce petition to a chemist’s or into a gold assay + office. [Knock at the door. The voice of TATIANA ALEXEYEVNA is heard, + “Can I come in, Andrey?” SHIPUCHIN shouts] Just wait one minute, dear! + [To MERCHUTKINA] What has it got to do with us if you haven’t been paid? + As it happens, madam, this is an anniversary to-day, we’re busy... and + somebody may be coming here at any moment.... Excuse me.... + </p> + <p> + MERCHUTKINA. Your excellency, have pity on me, an orphan! I’m a weak, + defenceless woman.... I’m tired to death.... I’m having trouble with my + lodgers, and on account of my husband, and I’ve got the house to look + after, and my son-in-law is out of work.... + </p> + <p> + SHIPUCHIN. Mrs. Merchutkina, I... No, excuse me, I can’t talk to you! My + head’s even in a whirl.... You are disturbing us and making us waste our + time. [Sighs, aside] What a business, as my name’s Shipuchin! [To + KHIRIN] Kusma Nicolaievitch, will you please explain to Mrs. + Merchutkina. [Waves his hand and goes out into public department.] + </p> + <p> + KHIRIN. [Approaching MERCHUTKINA, angrily] What do you want? + </p> + <p> + MERCHUTKINA. I’m a weak, defenceless woman.... I may look all right, but + if you were to take me to pieces you wouldn’t find a single healthy bit + in me! I can hardly stand on my legs, and I’ve lost my appetite. I drank + my coffee to-day and got no pleasure out of it. + </p> + <p> + KHIRIN. I ask you, what do you want? + </p> + <p> + MERCHUTKINA. Tell them, my dear, to give me 15 roubles, and a month + later will do for the rest. + </p> + <p> + KHIRIN. But haven’t you been told perfectly plainly that this is a bank! + </p> + <p> + MERCHUTKINA. Yes, yes.... And if you like I can show you the doctor’s + certificate. + </p> + <p> + KHIRIN. Have you got a head on your shoulders, or what? + </p> + <p> + MERCHUTKINA. My dear, I’m asking for what’s mine by law. I don’t want + what isn’t mine. + </p> + <p> + KHIRIN. I ask you, madam, have you got a head on your shoulders, or + what? Well, devil take me, I haven’t any time to talk to you! I’m + busy.... [Points to the door] That way, please! + </p> + <p> + MERCHUTKINA. [Surprised] And where’s the money? + </p> + <p> + KHIRIN. You haven’t a head, but this [Taps the table and then points to + his forehead.] + </p> + <p> + MERCHUTKINA. [Offended] What? Well, never mind, never mind.... You can + do that to your own wife, but I’m the wife of a civil servant.... You + can’t do that to me! + </p> + <p> + KHIRIN. [Losing his temper] Get out of this! + </p> + <p> + MERCHUTKINA. No, no, no... none of that! + </p> + <p> + KHIRIN. If you don’t get out this second, I’ll call for the hall-porter! + Get out! [Stamping.] + </p> + <p> + MERCHUTKINA. Never mind, never mind! I’m not afraid! I’ve seen the like + of you before! Miser! + </p> + <p> + KHIRIN. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a more awful woman in my life.... + Ouf! It’s given me a headache.... [Breathing heavily] I tell you once + more... do you hear me? If you don’t get out of this, you old devil, + I’ll grind you into powder! I’ve got such a character that I’m perfectly + capable of laming you for life! I can commit a crime! + </p> + <p> + MERCHUTKINA. I’ve heard barking dogs before. I’m not afraid. I’ve seen + the like of you before. + </p> + <p> + KHIRIN. [In despair] I can’t stand it! I’m ill! I can’t! [Sits down at + his desk] They’ve let the Bank get filled with women, and I can’t finish + my report! I can’t. + </p> + <p> + MERCHUTKINA. I don’t want anybody else’s money, but my own, according to + law. You ought to be ashamed of yourself! Sitting in a government office + in felt boots.... + </p> + <p> + [Enter SHIPUCHIN and TATIANA ALEXEYEVNA.] + </p> + <p> + TATIANA ALEXEYEVNA. [Following her husband] We spent the evening at the + Berezhnitskys. Katya was wearing a sky-blue frock of foulard silk, cut + low at the neck.... She looks very well with her hair done over her + head, and I did her hair myself.... She was perfectly fascinating.... + </p> + <p> + SHIPUCHIN. [Who has had enough of it already] Yes, yes... + fascinating.... They may be here any moment.... + </p> + <p> + MERCHUTKINA. Your excellency! + </p> + <p> + SHIPUCHIN. [Dully] What else? What do you want? + </p> + <p> + MERCHUTKINA. Your excellency! [Points to KHIRIN] This man... this man + tapped the table with his finger, and then his head.... You told him to + look after my affair, but he insults me and says all sorts of things. + I’m a weak, defenceless woman.... + </p> + <p> + SHIPUCHIN. All right, madam, I’ll see to it... and take the necessary + steps.... Go away now... later on! [Aside] My gout’s coming on! + </p> + <p> + KHIRIN. [In a low tone to SHIPUCHIN] Andrey Andreyevitch, send for the + hall-porter and have her turned out neck and crop! What else can we do? + </p> + <p> + SHIPUCHIN. [Frightened] No, no! She’ll kick up a row and we aren’t the + only people in the building. + </p> + <p> + MERCHUTKINA. Your excellency. + </p> + <p> + KHIRIN. [In a tearful voice] But I’ve got to finish my report! I won’t + have time! I won’t! + </p> + <p> + MERCHUTKINA. Your excellency, when shall I have the money? I want it + now. + </p> + <p> + SHIPUCHIN. [Aside, in dismay] A re-mark-ab-ly beastly woman! [Politely] + Madam, I’ve already told you, this is a bank, a private, commercial + concern. + </p> + <p> + MERCHUTKINA. Be a father to me, your excellency.... If the doctor’s + certificate isn’t enough, I can get you another from the police. Tell + them to give me the money! + </p> + <p> + SHIPUCHIN. [Panting] Ouf! + </p> + <p> + TATIANA ALEXEYEVNA. [To MERCHUTKINA] Mother, haven’t you already been + told that you’re disturbing them? What right have you? + </p> + <p> + MERCHUTKINA. Mother, beautiful one, nobody will help me. All I do is to + eat and drink, and just now I didn’t enjoy my coffee at all. + </p> + <p> + SHIPUCHIN. [Exhausted] How much do you want? + </p> + <p> + MERCHUTKINA. 24 roubles 36 copecks. + </p> + <p> + SHIPUCHIN. All right! [Takes a 25-rouble note out of his pocket-book and + gives it to her] Here are 25 roubles. Take it and... go! + </p> + <p> + [KHIRIN coughs angrily.] + </p> + <p> + MERCHUTKINA. I thank you very humbly, your excellency. [Hides the + money.] + </p> + <p> + TATIANA ALEXEYEVNA. [Sits by her husband] It’s time I went home.... + [Looks at watch] But I haven’t done yet.... I’ll finish in one minute + and go away.... What a time we had! Yes, what a time! We went to spend + the evening at the Berezhnitskys.... It was all right, quite fun, but + nothing in particular.... Katya’s devoted Grendilevsky was there, of + course.... Well, I talked to Katya, cried, and induced her to talk to + Grendilevsky and refuse him. Well, I thought, everything’s, settled the + best possible way; I’ve quieted mamma down, saved Katya, and can be + quiet myself.... What do you think? Katya and I were going along the + avenue, just before supper, and suddenly... [Excitedly] And suddenly we + heard a shot.... No, I can’t talk about it calmly! [Waves her + handkerchief] No, I can’t! + </p> + <p> + SHIPUCHIN. [Sighs] Ouf! + </p> + <p> + TATIANA ALEXEYEVNA. [Weeps] We ran to the summer-house, and there... + there poor Grendilevsky was lying... with a pistol in his hand.... + </p> + <p> + SHIPUCHIN. No, I can’t stand this! I can’t stand it! [To MERCHUTKINA] + What else do you want? + </p> + <p> + MERCHUTKINA. Your excellency, can’t my husband go back to his job? + </p> + <p> + TATIANA ALEXEYEVNA. [Weeping] He’d shot himself right in the heart... + here.... And the poor man had fallen down senseless.... And he was + awfully frightened, as he lay there... and asked for a doctor. A doctor + came soon... and saved the unhappy man.... + </p> + <p> + MERCHUTKINA. Your excellency, can’t my husband go back to his job? + </p> + <p> + SHIPUCHIN. No, I can’t stand this! [Weeps] I can’t stand it! [Stretches + out both his hands in despair to KHIRIN] Drive her away! Drive her away, + I implore you! + </p> + <p> + KHIRIN. [Goes up to TATIANA ALEXEYEVNA] Get out of this! + </p> + <p> + SHIPUCHIN. Not her, but this one... this awful woman.... [Points] That + one! + </p> + <p> + KHIRIN. [Not understanding, to TATIANA ALEXEYEVNA] Get out of this! + [Stamps] Get out! + </p> + <p> + TATIANA ALEXEYEVNA. What? What are you doing? Have you taken leave of + your senses? + </p> + <p> + SHIPUCHIN. It’s awful? I’m a miserable man! Drive her out! Out with her! + </p> + <p> + KHIRIN. [To TATIANA ALEXEYEVNA] Out of it! I’ll cripple you! I’ll knock + you out of shape! I’ll break the law! + </p> + <p> + TATIANA ALEXEYEVNA. [Running from him; he chases her] How dare you! You + impudent fellow! [Shouts] Andrey! Help! Andrey! [Screams.] + </p> + <p> + SHIPUCHIN. [Chasing them] Stop! I implore you! Not such a noise? Have + pity on me! + </p> + <p> + KHIRIN. [Chasing MERCHUTKINA] Out of this! Catch her! Hit her! Cut her + into pieces! + </p> + <p> + SHIPUCHIN. [Shouts] Stop! I ask you! I implore you! + </p> + <p> + MERCHUTKINA. Little fathers... little fathers! [Screams] Little + fathers!... + </p> + <p> + TATIANA ALEXEYEVNA. [Shouts] Help! Help!... Oh, oh... I’m sick, I’m + sick! [Jumps on to a chair, then falls on to the sofa and groans as if + in a faint.] + </p> + <p> + KHIRIN. [Chasing MERCHUTKINA] Hit her! Beat her! Cut her to pieces! + </p> + <p> + MERCHUTKINA. Oh, oh... little fathers, it’s all dark before me! Ah! + [Falls senseless into SHIPUCHIN’S arms. There is a knock at the door; a + VOICE announces THE DEPUTATION] The deputation... reputation... + occupation... + </p> + <p> + KHIRIN. [Stamps] Get out of it, devil take me! [Turns up his sleeves] + Give her to me: I may break the law! + </p> + <p> + [A deputation of five men enters; they all wear frockcoats. One carries + the velvet-covered address, another, the loving-cup. Employees look in + at the door, from the public department. TATIANA ALEXEYEVNA on the sofa, + and MERCHUTKINA in SHIPUCHIN’S arms are both groaning.] + </p> + <p> + ONE OF THE DEPUTATION. [Reads aloud] “Deeply respected and dear Andrey + Andreyevitch! Throwing a retrospective glance at the past history of our + financial administration, and reviewing in our minds its gradual + development, we receive an extremely satisfactory impression. It is true + that in the first period of its existence, the inconsiderable amount of + its capital, and the absence of serious operations of any description, + and also the indefinite aims of this bank, made us attach an extreme + importance to the question raised by Hamlet, ‘To be or not to be,’ and + at one time there were even voices to be heard demanding our + liquidation. But at that moment you become the head of our concern. Your + knowledge, energies, and your native tact were the causes of + extraordinary success and widespread extension. The reputation of the + bank... [Coughs] reputation of the bank...” + </p> + <p> + MERCHUTKINA. [Groans] Oh! Oh! + </p> + <p> + TATIANA ALEXEYEVNA. [Groans] Water! Water! + </p> + <p> + THE MEMBER OF THE DEPUTATION. [Continues] The reputation [Coughs]... the + reputation of the bank has been raised by you to such a height that we + are now the rivals of the best foreign concerns. + </p> + <p> + SHIPUCHIN. Deputation... reputation... occupation.... Two friends that + had a walk at night, held converse by the pale moonlight.... Oh tell me + not, that youth is vain, that jealousy has turned my brain. + </p> + <p> + THE MEMBER OF THE DEPUTATION. [Continues in confusion] “Then, throwing + an objective glance at the present condition of things, we, deeply + respected and dear Andrey Andreyevitch... [Lowering his voice] In that + case, we’ll do it later on.... Yes, later on....” [DEPUTATION goes out + in confusion.] + </p> + <p> + Curtain. + </p> + <a name="link2H_4_0008" id="link2H_4_0008"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + THE THREE SISTERS + </h2> + <h3> + A DRAMA IN FOUR ACTS + </h3> + CHARACTERS +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + ANDREY SERGEYEVITCH PROSOROV + NATALIA IVANOVA (NATASHA), his fiancée, later his wife (28) + His sisters: + OLGA + MASHA + IRINA + FEODOR ILITCH KULIGIN, high school teacher, married to MASHA (20) + ALEXANDER IGNATEYEVITCH VERSHININ, lieutenant-colonel in charge of + a battery (42) + NICOLAI LVOVITCH TUZENBACH, baron, lieutenant in the army (30) + VASSILI VASSILEVITCH SOLENI, captain + IVAN ROMANOVITCH CHEBUTIKIN, army doctor (60) + ALEXEY PETROVITCH FEDOTIK, sub-lieutenant + VLADIMIR CARLOVITCH RODE, sub-lieutenant + FERAPONT, door-keeper at local council offices, an old man + ANFISA, nurse (80) +</pre> + <p> + The action takes place in a provincial town. + </p> + <p> + [Ages are stated in brackets.] + </p> + <a name="link2H_4_0009" id="link2H_4_0009"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + ACT I + </h2> + <p> + [In PROSOROV’S house. A sitting-room with pillars; behind is seen a + large dining-room. It is midday, the sun is shining brightly outside. In + the dining-room the table is being laid for lunch.] + </p> + <p> + [OLGA, in the regulation blue dress of a teacher at a girl’s high + school, is walking about correcting exercise books; MASHA, in a black + dress, with a hat on her knees, sits and reads a book; IRINA, in white, + stands about, with a thoughtful expression.] + </p> + <p> + OLGA. It’s just a year since father died last May the fifth, on your + name-day, Irina. It was very cold then, and snowing. I thought I would + never survive it, and you were in a dead faint. And now a year has gone + by and we are already thinking about it without pain, and you are + wearing a white dress and your face is happy. [Clock strikes twelve] And + the clock struck just the same way then. [Pause] I remember that there + was music at the funeral, and they fired a volley in the cemetery. He + was a general in command of a brigade but there were few people present. + Of course, it was raining then, raining hard, and snowing. + </p> + <p> + IRINA. Why think about it! + </p> + <p> + [BARON TUZENBACH, CHEBUTIKIN and SOLENI appear by the table in the + dining-room, behind the pillars.] + </p> + <p> + OLGA. It’s so warm to-day that we can keep the windows open, though the + birches are not yet in flower. Father was put in command of a brigade, + and he rode out of Moscow with us eleven years ago. I remember perfectly + that it was early in May and that everything in Moscow was flowering + then. It was warm too, everything was bathed in sunshine. Eleven years + have gone, and I remember everything as if we rode out only yesterday. + Oh, God! When I awoke this morning and saw all the light and the spring, + joy entered my heart, and I longed passionately to go home. + </p> + <p> + CHEBUTIKIN. Will you take a bet on it? + </p> + <p> + TUZENBACH. Oh, nonsense. + </p> + <p> + [MASHA, lost in a reverie over her book, whistles softly.] + </p> + <p> + OLGA. Don’t whistle, Masha. How can you! [Pause] I’m always having + headaches from having to go to the High School every day and then teach + till evening. Strange thoughts come to me, as if I were already an old + woman. And really, during these four years that I have been working + here, I have been feeling as if every day my strength and youth have + been squeezed out of me, drop by drop. And only one desire grows and + gains in strength... + </p> + <p> + IRINA. To go away to Moscow. To sell the house, drop everything here, + and go to Moscow... + </p> + <p> + OLGA. Yes! To Moscow, and as soon as possible. + </p> + <p> + [CHEBUTIKIN and TUZENBACH laugh.] + </p> + <p> + IRINA. I expect Andrey will become a professor, but still, he won’t want + to live here. Only poor Masha must go on living here. + </p> + <p> + OLGA. Masha can come to Moscow every year, for the whole summer. + </p> + <p> + [MASHA is whistling gently.] + </p> + <p> + IRINA. Everything will be arranged, please God. [Looks out of the + window] It’s nice out to-day. I don’t know why I’m so happy: I + remembered this morning that it was my name-day, and I suddenly felt + glad and remembered my childhood, when mother was still with us. What + beautiful thoughts I had, what thoughts! + </p> + <p> + OLGA. You’re all radiance to-day, I’ve never seen you look so lovely. + And Masha is pretty, too. Andrey wouldn’t be bad-looking, if he wasn’t + so stout; it does spoil his appearance. But I’ve grown old and very + thin, I suppose it’s because I get angry with the girls at school. + To-day I’m free. I’m at home. I haven’t got a headache, and I feel + younger than I was yesterday. I’m only twenty-eight.... All’s well, God + is everywhere, but it seems to me that if only I were married and could + stay at home all day, it would be even better. [Pause] I should love my + husband. + </p> + <p> + TUZENBACH. [To SOLENI] I’m tired of listening to the rot you talk. + [Entering the sitting-room] I forgot to say that Vershinin, our new + lieutenant-colonel of artillery, is coming to see us to-day. [Sits down + to the piano.] + </p> + <p> + OLGA. That’s good. I’m glad. + </p> + <p> + IRINA. Is he old? + </p> + <p> + TUZENBACH. Oh, no. Forty or forty-five, at the very outside. [Plays + softly] He seems rather a good sort. He’s certainly no fool, only he + likes to hear himself speak. + </p> + <p> + IRINA. Is he interesting? + </p> + <p> + TUZENBACH. Oh, he’s all right, but there’s his wife, his mother-in-law, + and two daughters. This is his second wife. He pays calls and tells + everybody that he’s got a wife and two daughters. He’ll tell you so + here. The wife isn’t all there, she does her hair like a flapper and + gushes extremely. She talks philosophy and tries to commit suicide every + now and again, apparently in order to annoy her husband. I should have + left her long ago, but he bears up patiently, and just grumbles. + </p> + <p> + SOLENI. [Enters with CHEBUTIKIN from the dining-room] With one hand I + can only lift fifty-four pounds, but with both hands I can lift 180, or + even 200 pounds. From this I conclude that two men are not twice as + strong as one, but three times, perhaps even more.... + </p> + <p> + CHEBUTIKIN. [Reads a newspaper as he walks] If your hair is coming + out... take an ounce of naphthaline and hail a bottle of spirit... + dissolve and use daily.... [Makes a note in his pocket diary] When found + make a note of! Not that I want it though.... [Crosses it out] It + doesn’t matter. + </p> + <p> + IRINA. Ivan Romanovitch, dear Ivan Romanovitch! + </p> + <p> + CHEBUTIKIN. What does my own little girl want? + </p> + <p> + IRINA. Ivan Romanovitch, dear Ivan Romanovitch! I feel as if I were + sailing under the broad blue sky with great white birds around me. Why + is that? Why? + </p> + <p> + CHEBUTIKIN. [Kisses her hands, tenderly] My white bird.... + </p> + <p> + IRINA. When I woke up to-day and got up and dressed myself, I suddenly + began to feel as if everything in this life was open to me, and that I + knew how I must live. Dear Ivan Romanovitch, I know everything. A man + must work, toil in the sweat of his brow, whoever he may be, for that is + the meaning and object of his life, his happiness, his enthusiasm. How + fine it is to be a workman who gets up at daybreak and breaks stones in + the street, or a shepherd, or a schoolmaster, who teaches children, or + an engine-driver on the railway.... My God, let alone a man, it’s better + to be an ox, or just a horse, so long as it can work, than a young woman + who wakes up at twelve o’clock, has her coffee in bed, and then spends + two hours dressing.... Oh it’s awful! Sometimes when it’s hot, your + thirst can be just as tiresome as my need for work. And if I don’t get + up early in future and work, Ivan Romanovitch, then you may refuse me + your friendship. + </p> + <p> + CHEBUTIKIN. [Tenderly] I’ll refuse, I’ll refuse.... + </p> + <p> + OLGA. Father used to make us get up at seven. Now Irina wakes at seven + and lies and meditates about something till nine at least. And she looks + so serious! [Laughs.] + </p> + <p> + IRINA. You’re so used to seeing me as a little girl that it seems queer + to you when my face is serious. I’m twenty! + </p> + <p> + TUZENBACH. How well I can understand that craving for work, oh God! I’ve + never worked once in my life. I was born in Petersburg, a chilly, lazy + place, in a family which never knew what work or worry meant. I remember + that when I used to come home from my regiment, a footman used to have + to pull off my boots while I fidgeted and my mother looked on in + adoration and wondered why other people didn’t see me in the same light. + They shielded me from work; but only just in time! A new age is dawning, + the people are marching on us all, a powerful, health-giving storm is + gathering, it is drawing near, soon it will be upon us and it will drive + away laziness, indifference, the prejudice against labour, and rotten + dullness from our society. I shall work, and in twenty-five or thirty + years, every man will have to work. Every one! + </p> + <p> + CHEBUTIKIN. I shan’t work. + </p> + <p> + TUZENBACH. You don’t matter. + </p> + <p> + SOLENI. In twenty-five years’ time, we shall all be dead, thank the + Lord. In two or three years’ time apoplexy will carry you off, or else + I’ll blow your brains out, my pet. [Takes a scent-bottle out of his + pocket and sprinkles his chest and hands.] + </p> + <p> + CHEBUTIKIN. [Laughs] It’s quite true, I never have worked. After I came + down from the university I never stirred a finger or opened a book, I + just read the papers.... [Takes another newspaper out of his pocket] + Here we are.... I’ve learnt from the papers that there used to be one, + Dobrolubov [Note: Dobroluboy (1836-81), in spite of the shortness of his + career, established himself as one of the classic literary critics of + Russia], for instance, but what he wrote—I don’t know... God only + knows.... [Somebody is heard tapping on the floor from below] There.... + They’re calling me downstairs, somebody’s come to see me. I’ll be back + in a minute... won’t be long.... [Exit hurriedly, scratching his beard.] + </p> + <p> + IRINA. He’s up to something. + </p> + <p> + TUZENBACH. Yes, he looked so pleased as he went out that I’m pretty + certain he’ll bring you a present in a moment. + </p> + <p> + IRINA. How unpleasant! + </p> + <p> + OLGA. Yes, it’s awful. He’s always doing silly things. + </p> + MASHA. +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + “There stands a green oak by the sea. + And a chain of bright gold is around it... + And a chain of bright gold is around it....” + </pre> + <p> + [Gets up and sings softly.] + </p> + <p> + OLGA. You’re not very bright to-day, Masha. [MASHA sings, putting on her + hat] Where are you off to? + </p> + <p> + MASHA. Home. + </p> + <p> + IRINA. That’s odd.... + </p> + <p> + TUZENBACH. On a name-day, too! + </p> + <p> + MASHA. It doesn’t matter. I’ll come in the evening. Good-bye, dear. + [Kisses MASHA] Many happy returns, though I’ve said it before. In the + old days when father was alive, every time we had a name-day, thirty or + forty officers used to come, and there was lots of noise and fun, and + to-day there’s only a man and a half, and it’s as quiet as a desert... + I’m off... I’ve got the hump to-day, and am not at all cheerful, so + don’t you mind me. [Laughs through her tears] We’ll have a talk later + on, but good-bye for the present, my dear; I’ll go somewhere. + </p> + <p> + IRINA. [Displeased] You are queer.... + </p> + <p> + OLGA. [Crying] I understand you, Masha. + </p> + <p> + SOLENI. When a man talks philosophy, well, it is philosophy or at any + rate sophistry; but when a woman, or two women, talk philosophy—it’s + all my eye. + </p> + <p> + MASHA. What do you mean by that, you very awful man? + </p> + <p> + SOLENI. Oh, nothing. You came down on me before I could say... help! + [Pause.] + </p> + <p> + MASHA. [Angrily, to OLGA] Don’t cry! + </p> + <p> + [Enter ANFISA and FERAPONT with a cake.] + </p> + <p> + ANFISA. This way, my dear. Come in, your feet are clean. [To IRINA] From + the District Council, from Mihail Ivanitch Protopopov... a cake. + </p> + <p> + IRINA. Thank you. Please thank him. [Takes the cake.] + </p> + <p> + FERAPONT. What? + </p> + <p> + IRINA. [Louder] Please thank him. + </p> + <p> + OLGA. Give him a pie, nurse. Ferapont, go, she’ll give you a pie. + </p> + <p> + FERAPONT. What? + </p> + <p> + ANFISA. Come on, gran’fer, Ferapont Spiridonitch. Come on. [Exeunt.] + </p> + <p> + MASHA. I don’t like this Mihail Potapitch or Ivanitch, Protopopov. We + oughtn’t to invite him here. + </p> + <p> + IRINA. I never asked him. + </p> + <p> + MASHA. That’s all right. + </p> + <p> + [Enter CHEBUTIKIN followed by a soldier with a silver samovar; there is + a rumble of dissatisfied surprise.] + </p> + <p> + OLGA. [Covers her face with her hands] A samovar! That’s awful! [Exit + into the dining-room, to the table.] + </p> + <p> + IRINA. My dear Ivan Romanovitch, what are you doing! + </p> + <p> + TUZENBACH. [Laughs] I told you so! + </p> + <p> + MASHA. Ivan Romanovitch, you are simply shameless! + </p> + <p> + CHEBUTIKIN. My dear good girl, you are the only thing, and the dearest + thing I have in the world. I’ll soon be sixty. I’m an old man, a lonely + worthless old man. The only good thing in me is my love for you, and if + it hadn’t been for that, I would have been dead long ago.... [To IRINA] + My dear little girl, I’ve known you since the day of your birth, I’ve + carried you in my arms... I loved your dead mother.... + </p> + <p> + MASHA. But your presents are so expensive! + </p> + <p> + CHEBUTIKIN. [Angrily, through his tears] Expensive presents.... You + really, are!... [To the orderly] Take the samovar in there.... [Teasing] + Expensive presents! + </p> + <p> + [The orderly goes into the dining-room with the samovar.] + </p> + <p> + ANFISA. [Enters and crosses stage] My dear, there’s a strange Colonel + come! He’s taken off his coat already. Children, he’s coming here. Irina + darling, you’ll be a nice and polite little girl, won’t you.... Should + have lunched a long time ago.... Oh, Lord.... [Exit.] + </p> + <p> + TUZENBACH. It must be Vershinin. [Enter VERSHININ] Lieutenant-Colonel + Vershinin! + </p> + <p> + VERSHININ. [To MASHA and IRINA] I have the honour to introduce myself, + my name is Vershinin. I am very glad indeed to be able to come at last. + How you’ve grown! Oh! oh! + </p> + <p> + IRINA. Please sit down. We’re very glad you’ve come. + </p> + <p> + VERSHININ. [Gaily] I am glad, very glad! But there are three sisters, + surely. I remember—three little girls. I forget your faces, but + your father, Colonel Prosorov, used to have three little girls, I + remember that perfectly, I saw them with my own eyes. How time does fly! + Oh, dear, how it flies! + </p> + <p> + TUZENBACH. Alexander Ignateyevitch comes from Moscow. + </p> + <p> + IRINA. From Moscow? Are you from Moscow? + </p> + <p> + VERSHININ. Yes, that’s so. Your father used to be in charge of a battery + there, and I was an officer in the same brigade. [To MASHA] I seem to + remember your face a little. + </p> + <p> + MASHA. I don’t remember you. + </p> + <p> + IRINA. Olga! Olga! [Shouts into the dining-room] Olga! Come along! [OLGA + enters from the dining-room] Lieutenant Colonel Vershinin comes from + Moscow, as it happens. + </p> + <p> + VERSHININ. I take it that you are Olga Sergeyevna, the eldest, and that + you are Maria... and you are Irina, the youngest.... + </p> + <p> + OLGA. So you come from Moscow? + </p> + <p> + VERSHININ. Yes. I went to school in Moscow and began my service there; I + was there for a long time until at last I got my battery and moved over + here, as you see. I don’t really remember you, I only remember that + there used to be three sisters. I remember your father well; I have only + to shut my eyes to see him as he was. I used to come to your house in + Moscow.... + </p> + <p> + OLGA. I used to think I remembered everybody, but... + </p> + <p> + VERSHININ. My name is Alexander Ignateyevitch. + </p> + <p> + IRINA. Alexander Ignateyevitch, you’ve come from Moscow. That is really + quite a surprise! + </p> + <p> + OLGA. We are going to live there, you see. + </p> + <p> + IRINA. We think we may be there this autumn. It’s our native town, we + were born there. In Old Basmanni Road.... [They both laugh for joy.] + </p> + <p> + MASHA. We’ve unexpectedly met a fellow countryman. [Briskly] I remember: + Do you remember, Olga, they used to speak at home of a “lovelorn Major.” + You were only a Lieutenant then, and in love with somebody, but for some + reason they always called you a Major for fun. + </p> + <p> + VERSHININ. [Laughs] That’s it... the lovelorn Major, that’s got it! + </p> + <p> + MASHA. You only wore moustaches then. You have grown older! [Through her + tears] You have grown older! + </p> + <p> + VERSHININ. Yes, when they used to call me the lovelorn Major, I was + young and in love. I’ve grown out of both now. + </p> + <p> + OLGA. But you haven’t a single white hair yet. You’re older, but you’re + not yet old. + </p> + <p> + VERSHININ. I’m forty-two, anyway. Have you been away from Moscow long? + </p> + <p> + IRINA. Eleven years. What are you crying for, Masha, you little fool.... + [Crying] And I’m crying too. + </p> + <p> + MASHA. It’s all right. And where did you live? + </p> + <p> + VERSHININ. Old Basmanni Road. + </p> + <p> + OLGA. Same as we. + </p> + <p> + VERSHININ. Once I used to live in German Street. That was when the Red + Barracks were my headquarters. There’s an ugly bridge in between, where + the water rushes underneath. One gets melancholy when one is alone + there. [Pause] Here the river is so wide and fine! It’s a splendid + river! + </p> + <p> + OLGA. Yes, but it’s so cold. It’s very cold here, and the midges.... + </p> + <p> + VERSHININ. What are you saying! Here you’ve got such a fine healthy + Russian climate. You’ve a forest, a river... and birches. Dear, modest + birches, I like them more than any other tree. It’s good to live here. + Only it’s odd that the railway station should be thirteen miles away.... + Nobody knows why. + </p> + <p> + SOLENI. I know why. [All look at him] Because if it was near it wouldn’t + be far off, and if it’s far off, it can’t be near. [An awkward pause.] + </p> + <p> + TUZENBACH. Funny man. + </p> + <p> + OLGA. Now I know who you are. I remember. + </p> + <p> + VERSHININ. I used to know your mother. + </p> + <p> + CHEBUTIKIN. She was a good woman, rest her soul. + </p> + <p> + IRINA. Mother is buried in Moscow. + </p> + <p> + OLGA. At the Novo-Devichi Cemetery. + </p> + <p> + MASHA. Do you know, I’m beginning to forget her face. We’ll be forgotten + in just the same way. + </p> + <p> + VERSHININ. Yes, they’ll forget us. It’s our fate, it can’t be helped. A + time will come when everything that seems serious, significant, or very + important to us will be forgotten, or considered trivial. [Pause] And + the curious thing is that we can’t possibly find out what will come to + be regarded as great and important, and what will be feeble, or silly. + Didn’t the discoveries of Copernicus, or Columbus, say, seem unnecessary + and ludicrous at first, while wasn’t it thought that some rubbish + written by a fool, held all the truth? And it may so happen that our + present existence, with which we are so satisfied, will in time appear + strange, inconvenient, stupid, unclean, perhaps even sinful.... + </p> + <p> + TUZENBACH. Who knows? But on the other hand, they may call our life + noble and honour its memory. We’ve abolished torture and capital + punishment, we live in security, but how much suffering there is still! + </p> + <p> + SOLENI. [In a feeble voice] There, there.... The Baron will go without + his dinner if you only let him talk philosophy. + </p> + <p> + TUZENBACH. Vassili Vassilevitch, kindly leave me alone. [Changes his + chair] You’re very dull, you know. + </p> + <p> + SOLENI. [Feebly] There, there, there. + </p> + <p> + TUZENBACH. [To VERSHININ] The sufferings we see to-day—there are + so many of them!—still indicate a certain moral improvement in + society. + </p> + <p> + VERSHININ. Yes, yes, of course. + </p> + <p> + CHEBUTIKIN. You said just now, Baron, that they may call our life noble; + but we are very petty.... [Stands up] See how little I am. [Violin + played behind.] + </p> + <p> + MASHA. That’s Andrey playing—our brother. + </p> + <p> + IRINA. He’s the learned member of the family. I expect he will be a + professor some day. Father was a soldier, but his son chose an academic + career for himself. + </p> + <p> + MASHA. That was father’s wish. + </p> + <p> + OLGA. We ragged him to-day. We think he’s a little in love. + </p> + <p> + IRINA. To a local lady. She will probably come here to-day. + </p> + <p> + MASHA. You should see the way she dresses! Quite prettily, quite + fashionably too, but so badly! Some queer bright yellow skirt with a + wretched little fringe and a red bodice. And such a complexion! Andrey + isn’t in love. After all he has taste, he’s simply making fun of us. I + heard yesterday that she was going to marry Protopopov, the chairman of + the Local Council. That would do her nicely.... [At the side door] + Andrey, come here! Just for a minute, dear! [Enter ANDREY.] + </p> + <p> + OLGA. My brother, Andrey Sergeyevitch. + </p> + <p> + VERSHININ. My name is Vershinin. + </p> + <p> + ANDREY. Mine is Prosorov. [Wipes his perspiring hands] You’ve come to + take charge of the battery? + </p> + <p> + OLGA. Just think, Alexander Ignateyevitch comes from Moscow. + </p> + <p> + ANDREY. That’s all right. Now my little sisters won’t give you any rest. + </p> + <p> + VERSHININ. I’ve already managed to bore your sisters. + </p> + <p> + IRINA. Just look what a nice little photograph frame Andrey gave me + to-day. [Shows it] He made it himself. + </p> + <p> + VERSHININ. [Looks at the frame and does not know what to say] Yes.... + It’s a thing that... + </p> + <p> + IRINA. And he made that frame there, on the piano as well. [Andrey waves + his hand and walks away.] + </p> + <p> + OLGA. He’s got a degree, and plays the violin, and cuts all sorts of + things out of wood, and is really a domestic Admirable Crichton. Don’t + go away, Andrey! He’s got into a habit of always going away. Come here! + </p> + <p> + [MASHA and IRINA take his arms and laughingly lead him back.] + </p> + <p> + MASHA. Come on, come on! + </p> + <p> + ANDREY. Please leave me alone. + </p> + <p> + MASHA. You are funny. Alexander Ignateyevitch used to be called the + lovelorn Major, but he never minded. + </p> + <p> + VERSHININ. Not the least. + </p> + <p> + MASHA. I’d like to call you the lovelorn fiddler! + </p> + <p> + IRINA. Or the lovelorn professor! + </p> + <p> + OLGA. He’s in love! little Andrey is in love! + </p> + <p> + IRINA. [Applauds] Bravo, Bravo! Encore! Little Andrey is in love. + </p> + <p> + CHEBUTIKIN. [Goes up behind ANDREY and takes him round the waist with + both arms] Nature only brought us into the world that we should love! + [Roars with laughter, then sits down and reads a newspaper which he + takes out of his pocket.] + </p> + <p> + ANDREY. That’s enough, quite enough.... [Wipes his face] I couldn’t + sleep all night and now I can’t quite find my feet, so to speak. I read + until four o’clock, then tried to sleep, but nothing happened. I thought + about one thing and another, and then it dawned and the sun crawled into + my bedroom. This summer, while I’m here, I want to translate a book from + the English.... + </p> + <p> + VERSHININ. Do you read English? + </p> + <p> + ANDREY. Yes father, rest his soul, educated us almost violently. It may + seem funny and silly, but it’s nevertheless true, that after his death I + began to fill out and get rounder, as if my body had had some great + pressure taken off it. Thanks to father, my sisters and I know French, + German, and English, and Irina knows Italian as well. But we paid dearly + for it all! + </p> + <p> + MASHA. A knowledge of three languages is an unnecessary luxury in this + town. It isn’t even a luxury but a sort of useless extra, like a sixth + finger. We know a lot too much. + </p> + <p> + VERSHININ. Well, I say! [Laughs] You know a lot too much! I don’t think + there can really be a town so dull and stupid as to have no place for a + clever, cultured person. Let us suppose even that among the hundred + thousand inhabitants of this backward and uneducated town, there are + only three persons like yourself. It stands to reason that you won’t be + able to conquer that dark mob around you; little by little as you grow + older you will be bound to give way and lose yourselves in this crowd of + a hundred thousand human beings; their life will suck you up in itself, + but still, you won’t disappear having influenced nobody; later on, + others like you will come, perhaps six of them, then twelve, and so on, + until at last your sort will be in the majority. In two or three hundred + years’ time life on this earth will be unimaginably beautiful and + wonderful. Mankind needs such a life, and if it is not ours to-day then + we must look ahead for it, wait, think, prepare for it. We must see and + know more than our fathers and grandfathers saw and knew. [Laughs] And + you complain that you know too much. + </p> + <p> + MASHA. [Takes off her hat] I’ll stay to lunch. + </p> + <p> + IRINA. [Sighs] Yes, all that ought to be written down. + </p> + <p> + [ANDREY has gone out quietly.] + </p> + <p> + TUZENBACH. You say that many years later on, life on this earth will be + beautiful and wonderful. That’s true. But to share in it now, even + though at a distance, we must prepare by work.... + </p> + <p> + VERSHININ. [Gets up] Yes. What a lot of flowers you have. [Looks round] + It’s a beautiful flat. I envy you! I’ve spent my whole life in rooms + with two chairs, one sofa, and fires which always smoke. I’ve never had + flowers like these in my life.... [Rubs his hands] Well, well! + </p> + <p> + TUZENBACH. Yes, we must work. You are probably thinking to yourself: the + German lets himself go. But I assure you I’m a Russian, I can’t even + speak German. My father belonged to the Orthodox Church.... [Pause.] + </p> + <p> + VERSHININ. [Walks about the stage] I often wonder: suppose we could + begin life over again, knowing what we were doing? Suppose we could use + one life, already ended, as a sort of rough draft for another? I think + that every one of us would try, more than anything else, not to repeat + himself, at the very least he would rearrange his manner of life, he + would make sure of rooms like these, with flowers and light... I have a + wife and two daughters, my wife’s health is delicate and so on and so + on, and if I had to begin life all over again I would not marry.... No, + no! + </p> + <p> + [Enter KULIGIN in a regulation jacket.] + </p> + <p> + KULIGIN. [Going up to IRINA] Dear sister, allow me to congratulate you + on the day sacred to your good angel and to wish you, sincerely and from + the bottom of my heart, good health and all that one can wish for a girl + of your years. And then let me offer you this book as a present. [Gives + it to her] It is the history of our High School during the last fifty + years, written by myself. The book is worthless, and written because I + had nothing to do, but read it all the same. Good day, gentlemen! [To + VERSHININ] My name is Kuligin, I am a master of the local High School. + [Note: He adds that he is a <i>Nadvorny Sovetnik</i> (almost the same as + a German <i>Hofrat</i>), an undistinguished civilian title with no + English equivalent.] [To IRINA] In this book you will find a list of all + those who have taken the full course at our High School during these + fifty years. <i>Feci quod potui, faciant meliora potentes</i>. [Kisses + MASHA.] + </p> + <p> + IRINA. But you gave me one of these at Easter. + </p> + <p> + KULIGIN. [Laughs] I couldn’t have, surely! You’d better give it back to + me in that case, or else give it to the Colonel. Take it, Colonel. + You’ll read it some day when you’re bored. + </p> + <p> + VERSHININ. Thank you. [Prepares to go] I am extremely happy to have made + the acquaintance of... + </p> + <p> + OLGA. Must you go? No, not yet? + </p> + <p> + IRINA. You’ll stop and have lunch with us. Please do. + </p> + <p> + OLGA. Yes, please! + </p> + <p> + VERSHININ. [Bows] I seem to have dropped in on your name-day. Forgive + me, I didn’t know, and I didn’t offer you my congratulations. [Goes with + OLGA into the dining-room.] + </p> + <p> + KULIGIN. To-day is Sunday, the day of rest, so let us rest and rejoice, + each in a manner compatible with his age and disposition. The carpets + will have to be taken up for the summer and put away till the winter... + Persian powder or naphthaline.... The Romans were healthy because they + knew both how to work and how to rest, they had <i>mens sana in corpore + sano</i>. Their life ran along certain recognized patterns. Our director + says: “The chief thing about each life is its pattern. Whoever loses his + pattern is lost himself”—and it’s just the same in our daily life. + [Takes MASHA by the waist, laughing] Masha loves me. My wife loves me. + And you ought to put the window curtains away with the carpets.... I’m + feeling awfully pleased with life to-day. Masha, we’ve got to be at the + director’s at four. They’re getting up a walk for the pedagogues and + their families. + </p> + <p> + MASHA. I shan’t go. + </p> + <p> + KULIGIN. [Hurt] My dear Masha, why not? + </p> + <p> + MASHA. I’ll tell you later.... [Angrily] All right, I’ll go, only please + stand back.... [Steps away.] + </p> + <p> + KULIGIN. And then we’re to spend the evening at the director’s. In spite + of his ill-health that man tries, above everything else, to be sociable. + A splendid, illuminating personality. A wonderful man. After yesterday’s + committee he said to me: “I’m tired, Feodor Ilitch, I’m tired!” [Looks + at the clock, then at his watch] Your clock is seven minutes fast. + “Yes,” he said, “I’m tired.” [Violin played off.] + </p> + <p> + OLGA. Let’s go and have lunch! There’s to be a masterpiece of baking! + </p> + <p> + KULIGIN. Oh my dear Olga, my dear. Yesterday I was working till eleven + o’clock at night, and got awfully tired. To-day I’m quite happy. [Goes + into dining-room] My dear... + </p> + <p> + CHEBUTIKIN. [Puts his paper into his pocket, and combs his beard] A pie? + Splendid! + </p> + <p> + MASHA. [Severely to CHEBUTIKIN] Only mind; you’re not to drink anything + to-day. Do you hear? It’s bad for you. + </p> + <p> + CHEBUTIKIN. Oh, that’s all right. I haven’t been drunk for two years. + And it’s all the same, anyway! + </p> + <p> + MASHA. You’re not to dare to drink, all the same. [Angrily, but so that + her husband should not hear] Another dull evening at the Director’s, + confound it! + </p> + <p> + TUZENBACH. I shouldn’t go if I were you.... It’s quite simple. + </p> + <p> + CHEBUTIKIN. Don’t go. + </p> + <p> + MASHA. Yes, “don’t go....” It’s a cursed, unbearable life.... [Goes into + dining-room.] + </p> + <p> + CHEBUTIKIN. [Follows her] It’s not so bad. + </p> + <p> + SOLENI. [Going into the dining-room] There, there, there.... + </p> + <p> + TUZENBACH. Vassili Vassilevitch, that’s enough. Be quiet! + </p> + <p> + SOLENI. There, there, there.... + </p> + <p> + KULIGIN. [Gaily] Your health, Colonel! I’m a pedagogue and not quite at + home here. I’m Masha’s husband.... She’s a good sort, a very good sort. + </p> + <p> + VERSHININ. I’ll have some of this black vodka.... [Drinks] Your health! + [To OLGA] I’m very comfortable here! + </p> + <p> + [Only IRINA and TUZENBACH are now left in the sitting-room.] + </p> + <p> + IRINA. Masha’s out of sorts to-day. She married when she was eighteen, + when he seemed to her the wisest of men. And now it’s different. He’s + the kindest man, but not the wisest. + </p> + <p> + OLGA. [Impatiently] Andrey, when are you coming? + </p> + <p> + ANDREY. [Off] One minute. [Enters and goes to the table.] + </p> + <p> + TUZENBACH. What are you thinking about? + </p> + <p> + IRINA. I don’t like this Soleni of yours and I’m afraid of him. He only + says silly things. + </p> + <p> + TUZENBACH. He’s a queer man. I’m sorry for him, though he vexes me. I + think he’s shy. When there are just the two of us he’s quite all right + and very good company; when other people are about he’s rough and + hectoring. Don’t let’s go in, let them have their meal without us. Let + me stay with you. What are you thinking of? [Pause] You’re twenty. I’m + not yet thirty. How many years are there left to us, with their long, + long lines of days, filled with my love for you.... + </p> + <p> + IRINA. Nicolai Lvovitch, don’t speak to me of love. + </p> + <p> + TUZENBACH. [Does not hear] I’ve a great thirst for life, struggle, and + work, and this thirst has united with my love for you, Irina, and you’re + so beautiful, and life seems so beautiful to me! What are you thinking + about? + </p> + <p> + IRINA. You say that life is beautiful. Yes, if only it seems so! The + life of us three hasn’t been beautiful yet; it has been stifling us as + if it was weeds... I’m crying. I oughtn’t.... [Dries her tears, smiles] + We must work, work. That is why we are unhappy and look at the world so + sadly; we don’t know what work is. Our parents despised work.... + </p> + <p> + [Enter NATALIA IVANOVA; she wears a pink dress and a green sash.] + </p> + <p> + NATASHA. They’re already at lunch... I’m late... [Carefully examines + herself in a mirror, and puts herself straight] I think my hair’s done + all right.... [Sees IRINA] Dear Irina Sergeyevna, I congratulate you! + [Kisses her firmly and at length] You’ve so many visitors, I’m really + ashamed.... How do you do, Baron! + </p> + <p> + OLGA. [Enters from dining-room] Here’s Natalia Ivanovna. How are you, + dear! [They kiss.] + </p> + <p> + NATASHA. Happy returns. I’m awfully shy, you’ve so many people here. + </p> + <p> + OLGA. All our friends. [Frightened, in an undertone] You’re wearing a + green sash! My dear, you shouldn’t! + </p> + <p> + NATASHA. Is it a sign of anything? + </p> + <p> + OLGA. No, it simply doesn’t go well... and it looks so queer. + </p> + <p> + NATASHA. [In a tearful voice] Yes? But it isn’t really green, it’s too + dull for that. [Goes into dining-room with OLGA.] + </p> + <p> + [They have all sat down to lunch in the dining-room, the sitting-room is + empty.] + </p> + <p> + KULIGIN. I wish you a nice fiancée, Irina. It’s quite time you married. + </p> + <p> + CHEBUTIKIN. Natalia Ivanovna, I wish you the same. + </p> + <p> + KULIGIN. Natalia Ivanovna has a fiancé already. + </p> + <p> + MASHA. [Raps with her fork on a plate] Let’s all get drunk and make life + purple for once! + </p> + <p> + KULIGIN. You’ve lost three good conduct marks. + </p> + <p> + VERSHININ. This is a nice drink. What’s it made of? + </p> + <p> + SOLENI. Blackbeetles. + </p> + <p> + IRINA. [Tearfully] Phoo! How disgusting! + </p> + <p> + OLGA. There is to be a roast turkey and a sweet apple pie for dinner. + Thank goodness I can spend all day and the evening at home. You’ll come + in the evening, ladies and gentlemen.... + </p> + <p> + VERSHININ. And please may I come in the evening! + </p> + <p> + IRINA. Please do. + </p> + <p> + NATASHA. They don’t stand on ceremony here. + </p> + <p> + CHEBUTIKIN. Nature only brought us into the world that we should love! + [Laughs.] + </p> + <p> + ANDREY. [Angrily] Please don’t! Aren’t you tired of it? + </p> + <p> + [Enter FEDOTIK and RODE with a large basket of flowers.] + </p> + <p> + FEDOTIK. They’re lunching already. + </p> + <p> + RODE. [Loudly and thickly] Lunching? Yes, so they are.... + </p> + <p> + FEDOTIK. Wait a minute! [Takes a photograph] That’s one. No, just a + moment.... [Takes another] That’s two. Now we’re ready! + </p> + <p> + [They take the basket and go into the dining-room, where they have a + noisy reception.] + </p> + <p> + RODE. [Loudly] Congratulations and best wishes! Lovely weather to-day, + simply perfect. Was out walking with the High School students all the + morning. I take their drills. + </p> + <p> + FEDOTIK. You may move, Irina Sergeyevna! [Takes a photograph] You look + well to-day. [Takes a humming-top out of his pocket] Here’s a + humming-top, by the way. It’s got a lovely note! + </p> + <p> + IRINA. How awfully nice! + </p> + MASHA. +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + “There stands a green oak by the sea, + And a chain of bright gold is around it... + And a chain of bright gold is around it...” + </pre> + <p> + [Tearfully] What am I saying that for? I’ve had those words running in + my head all day.... + </p> + <p> + KULIGIN. There are thirteen at table! + </p> + <p> + RODE. [Aloud] Surely you don’t believe in that superstition? [Laughter.] + </p> + <p> + KULIGIN. If there are thirteen at table then it means there are lovers + present. It isn’t you, Ivan Romanovitch, hang it all.... [Laughter.] + </p> + <p> + CHEBUTIKIN. I’m a hardened sinner, but I really don’t see why Natalia + Ivanovna should blush.... + </p> + <p> + [Loud laughter; NATASHA runs out into the sitting-room, followed by + ANDREY.] + </p> + <p> + ANDREY. Don’t pay any attention to them! Wait... do stop, please.... + </p> + <p> + NATASHA. I’m shy... I don’t know what’s the matter with me and they’re + all laughing at me. It wasn’t nice of me to leave the table like that, + but I can’t... I can’t. [Covers her face with her hands.] + </p> + <p> + ANDREY. My dear, I beg you. I implore you not to excite yourself. I + assure you they’re only joking, they’re kind people. My dear, good girl, + they’re all kind and sincere people, and they like both you and me. Come + here to the window, they can’t see us here.... [Looks round.] + </p> + <p> + NATASHA. I’m so unaccustomed to meeting people! + </p> + <p> + ANDREY. Oh your youth, your splendid, beautiful youth! My darling, don’t + be so excited! Believe me, believe me... I’m so happy, my soul is full + of love, of ecstasy.... They don’t see us! They can’t! Why, why or when + did I fall in love with you—Oh, I can’t understand anything. My + dear, my pure darling, be my wife! I love you, love you... as never + before.... [They kiss.] + </p> + <p> + [Two officers come in and, seeing the lovers kiss, stop in + astonishment.] + </p> + <p> + Curtain. + </p> + <a name="link2H_4_0010" id="link2H_4_0010"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + ACT II + </h2> + <p> + [Scene as before. It is 8 p.m. Somebody is heard playing a concertina + outside in’ the street. There is no fire. NATALIA IVANOVNA enters in + indoor dress carrying a candle; she stops by the door which leads into + ANDREY’S room.] + </p> + <p> + NATASHA. What are you doing, Andrey? Are you reading? It’s nothing, only + I.... [She opens another door, and looks in, then closes it] Isn’t there + any fire.... + </p> + <p> + ANDREY. [Enters with book in hand] What are you doing, Natasha? + </p> + <p> + NATASHA. I was looking to see if there wasn’t a fire. It’s Shrovetide, + and the servant is simply beside herself; I must look out that something + doesn’t happen. When I came through the dining-room yesterday midnight, + there was a candle burning. I couldn’t get her to tell me who had + lighted it. [Puts down her candle] What’s the time? + </p> + <p> + ANDREY. [Looks at his watch] A quarter past eight. + </p> + <p> + NATASHA. And Olga and Irina aren’t in yet. The poor things are still at + work. Olga at the teacher’s council, Irina at the telegraph office.... + [Sighs] I said to your sister this morning, “Irina, darling, you must + take care of yourself.” But she pays no attention. Did you say it was a + quarter past eight? I am afraid little Bobby is quite ill. Why is he so + cold? He was feverish yesterday, but to-day he is quite cold... I am so + frightened! + </p> + <p> + ANDREY. It’s all right, Natasha. The boy is well. + </p> + <p> + NATASHA. Still, I think we ought to put him on a diet. I am so afraid. + And the entertainers were to be here after nine; they had better not + come, Audrey. + </p> + <p> + ANDREY. I don’t know. After all, they were asked. + </p> + <p> + NATASHA. This morning, when the little boy woke up and saw me he + suddenly smiled; that means he knew me. “Good morning, Bobby!” I said, + “good morning, darling.” And he laughed. Children understand, they + understand very well. So I’ll tell them, Andrey dear, not to receive the + entertainers. + </p> + <p> + ANDREY. [Hesitatingly] But what about my sisters. This is their flat. + </p> + <p> + NATASHA. They’ll do as I want them. They are so kind.... [Going] I + ordered sour milk for supper. The doctor says you must eat sour milk and + nothing else, or you won’t get thin. [Stops] Bobby is so cold. I’m + afraid his room is too cold for him. It would be nice to put him into + another room till the warm weather comes. Irina’s room, for instance, is + just right for a child: it’s dry and has the sun all day. I must tell + her, she can share Olga’s room. It isn’t as if she was at home in the + daytime, she only sleeps here.... [A pause] Andrey, darling, why are you + so silent? + </p> + <p> + ANDREY. I was just thinking.... There is really nothing to say.... + </p> + <p> + NATASHA. Yes... there was something I wanted to tell you.... Oh, yes. + Ferapont has come from the Council offices, he wants to see you. + </p> + <p> + ANDREY. [Yawns] Call him here. + </p> + <p> + [NATASHA goes out; ANDREY reads his book, stooping over the candle she + has left behind. FERAPONT enters; he wears a tattered old coat with the + collar up. His ears are muffled.] + </p> + <p> + ANDREY. Good morning, grandfather. What have you to say? + </p> + <p> + FERAPONT. The Chairman sends a book and some documents or other. + Here.... [Hands him a book and a packet.] + </p> + <p> + ANDREY. Thank you. It’s all right. Why couldn’t you come earlier? It’s + past eight now. + </p> + <p> + FERAPONT. What? + </p> + <p> + ANDREY. [Louder]. I say you’ve come late, it’s past eight. + </p> + <p> + FERAPONT. Yes, yes. I came when it was still light, but they wouldn’t + let me in. They said you were busy. Well, what was I to do. If you’re + busy, you’re busy, and I’m in no hurry. [He thinks that ANDREY is asking + him something] What? + </p> + <p> + ANDREY. Nothing. [Looks through the book] To-morrow’s Friday. I’m not + supposed to go to work, but I’ll come—all the same... and do some + work. It’s dull at home. [Pause] Oh, my dear old man, how strangely life + changes, and how it deceives! To-day, out of sheer boredom, I took up + this book—old university lectures, and I couldn’t help laughing. + My God, I’m secretary of the local district council, the council which + has Protopopov for its chairman, yes, I’m the secretary, and the summit + of my ambitions is—to become a member of the council! I to be a + member of the local district council, I, who dream every night that I’m + a professor of Moscow University, a famous scholar of whom all Russia is + proud! + </p> + <p> + FERAPONT. I can’t tell... I’m hard of hearing.... + </p> + <p> + ANDREY. If you weren’t, I don’t suppose I should talk to you. I’ve got + to talk to somebody, and my wife doesn’t understand me, and I’m a bit + afraid of my sisters—I don’t know why unless it is that they may + make fun of me and make me feel ashamed... I don’t drink, I don’t like + public-houses, but how I should like to be sitting just now in Tyestov’s + place in Moscow, or at the Great Moscow, old fellow! + </p> + <p> + FERAPONT. Moscow? That’s where a contractor was once telling that some + merchants or other were eating pancakes; one ate forty pancakes and he + went and died, he was saying. Either forty or fifty, I forget which. + </p> + <p> + ANDREY. In Moscow you can sit in an enormous restaurant where you don’t + know anybody and where nobody knows you, and you don’t feel all the same + that you’re a stranger. And here you know everybody and everybody knows + you, and you’re a stranger... and a lonely stranger. + </p> + <p> + FERAPONT. What? And the same contractor was telling—perhaps he was + lying—that there was a cable stretching right across Moscow. + </p> + <p> + ANDREY. What for? + </p> + <p> + FERAPONT. I can’t tell. The contractor said so. + </p> + <p> + ANDREY. Rubbish. [He reads] Were you ever in Moscow? + </p> + <p> + FERAPONT. [After a pause] No. God did not lead me there. [Pause] Shall I + go? + </p> + <p> + ANDREY. You may go. Good-bye. [FERAPONT goes] Good-bye. [Reads] You can + come to-morrow and fetch these documents.... Go along.... [Pause] He’s + gone. [A ring] Yes, yes.... [Stretches himself and slowly goes into his + own room.] + </p> + <p> + [Behind the scene the nurse is singing a lullaby to the child. MASHA and + VERSHININ come in. While they talk, a maidservant lights candles and a + lamp.] + </p> + <p> + MASHA. I don’t know. [Pause] I don’t know. Of course, habit counts for a + great deal. After father’s death, for instance, it took us a long time + to get used to the absence of orderlies. But, apart from habit, it seems + to me in all fairness that, however it may be in other towns, the best + and most-educated people are army men. + </p> + <p> + VERSHININ. I’m thirsty. I should like some tea. + </p> + <p> + MASHA. [Glancing at her watch] They’ll bring some soon. I was given in + marriage when I was eighteen, and I was afraid of my husband because he + was a teacher and I’d only just left school. He then seemed to me + frightfully wise and learned and important. And now, unfortunately, that + has changed. + </p> + <p> + VERSHININ. Yes... yes. + </p> + <p> + MASHA. I don’t speak of my husband, I’ve grown used to him, but + civilians in general are so often coarse, impolite, uneducated. Their + rudeness offends me, it angers me. I suffer when I see that a man isn’t + quite sufficiently refined, or delicate, or polite. I simply suffer + agonies when I happen to be among schoolmasters, my husband’s + colleagues. + </p> + <p> + VERSHININ. Yes.... It seems to me that civilians and army men are + equally interesting, in this town, at any rate. It’s all the same! If + you listen to a member of the local intelligentsia, whether to civilian + or military, he will tell you that he’s sick of his wife, sick of his + house, sick of his estate, sick of his horses.... We Russians are + extremely gifted in the direction of thinking on an exalted plane, but, + tell me, why do we aim so low in real life? Why? + </p> + <p> + MASHA. Why? + </p> + <p> + VERSHININ. Why is a Russian sick of his children, sick of his wife? And + why are his wife and children sick of him? + </p> + <p> + MASHA. You’re a little downhearted to-day. + </p> + <p> + VERSHININ. Perhaps I am. I haven’t had any dinner, I’ve had nothing + since the morning. My daughter is a little unwell, and when my girls are + ill, I get very anxious and my conscience tortures me because they have + such a mother. Oh, if you had seen her to-day! What a trivial + personality! We began quarrelling at seven in the morning and at nine I + slammed the door and went out. [Pause] I never speak of her, it’s + strange that I bear my complaints to you alone. [Kisses her hand] Don’t + be angry with me. I haven’t anybody but you, nobody at all.... [Pause.] + </p> + <p> + MASHA. What a noise in the oven. Just before father’s death there was a + noise in the pipe, just like that. + </p> + <p> + VERSHININ. Are you superstitious? + </p> + <p> + MASHA. Yes. + </p> + <p> + VERSHININ. That’s strange. [Kisses her hand] You are a splendid, + wonderful woman. Splendid, wonderful! It is dark here, but I see your + sparkling eyes. + </p> + <p> + MASHA. [Sits on another chair] There is more light here. + </p> + <p> + VERSHININ. I love you, love you, love you... I love your eyes, your + movements, I dream of them.... Splendid, wonderful woman! + </p> + <p> + MASHA. [Laughing] When you talk to me like that, I laugh; I don’t know + why, for I’m afraid. Don’t repeat it, please.... [In an undertone] No, + go on, it’s all the same to me.... [Covers her face with her hands] + Somebody’s coming, let’s talk about something else. + </p> + <p> + [IRINA and TUZENBACH come in through the dining-room.] + </p> + <p> + TUZENBACH. My surname is really triple. I am called Baron + Tuzenbach-Krone-Altschauer, but I am Russian and Orthodox, the same as + you. There is very little German left in me, unless perhaps it is the + patience and the obstinacy with which I bore you. I see you home every + night. + </p> + <p> + IRINA. How tired I am! + </p> + <p> + TUZENBACH. And I’ll come to the telegraph office to see you home every + day for ten or twenty years, until you drive me away. [He sees MASHA and + VERSHININ; joyfully] Is that you? How do you do. + </p> + <p> + IRINA. Well, I am home at last. [To MASHA] A lady came to-day to + telegraph to her brother in Saratov that her son died to-day, and she + couldn’t remember the address anyhow. So she sent the telegram without + an address, just to Saratov. She was crying. And for some reason or + other I was rude to her. “I’ve no time,” I said. It was so stupid. Are + the entertainers coming to-night? + </p> + <p> + MASHA. Yes. + </p> + <p> + IRINA. [Sitting down in an armchair] I want a rest. I am tired. + </p> + <p> + TUZENBACH. [Smiling] When you come home from your work you seem so + young, and so unfortunate.... [Pause.] + </p> + <p> + IRINA. I am tired. No, I don’t like the telegraph office, I don’t like + it. + </p> + <p> + MASHA. You’ve grown thinner.... [Whistles a little] And you look + younger, and your face has become like a boy’s. + </p> + <p> + TUZENBACH. That’s the way she does her hair. + </p> + <p> + IRINA. I must find another job, this one won’t do for me. What I wanted, + what I hoped to get, just that is lacking here. Labour without poetry, + without ideas.... [A knock on the floor] The doctor is knocking. [To + TUZENBACH] Will you knock, dear. I can’t... I’m tired.... [TUZENBACH + knocks] He’ll come in a minute. Something ought to be done. Yesterday + the doctor and Andrey played cards at the club and lost money. Andrey + seems to have lost 200 roubles. + </p> + <p> + MASHA. [With indifference] What can we do now? + </p> + <p> + IRINA. He lost money a fortnight ago, he lost money in December. Perhaps + if he lost everything we should go away from this town. Oh, my God, I + dream of Moscow every night. I’m just like a lunatic. [Laughs] We go + there in June, and before June there’s still... February, March, April, + May... nearly half a year! + </p> + <p> + MASHA. Only Natasha mustn’t get to know of these losses. + </p> + <p> + IRINA. I expect it will be all the same to her. + </p> + <p> + [CHEBUTIKIN, who has only just got out of bed—he was resting after + dinner—comes into the dining-room and combs his beard. He then + sits by the table and takes a newspaper from his pocket.] + </p> + <p> + MASHA. Here he is.... Has he paid his rent? + </p> + <p> + IRINA. [Laughs] No. He’s been here eight months and hasn’t paid a + copeck. Seems to have forgotten. + </p> + <p> + MASHA. [Laughs] What dignity in his pose! [They all laugh. A pause.] + </p> + <p> + IRINA. Why are you so silent, Alexander Ignateyevitch? + </p> + <p> + VERSHININ. I don’t know. I want some tea. Half my life for a tumbler of + tea: I haven’t had anything since morning. + </p> + <p> + CHEBUTIKIN. Irina Sergeyevna! + </p> + <p> + IRINA. What is it? + </p> + <p> + CHEBUTIKIN. Please come here, Venez ici. [IRINA goes and sits by the + table] I can’t do without you. [IRINA begins to play patience.] + </p> + <p> + VERSHININ. Well, if we can’t have any tea, let’s philosophize, at any + rate. + </p> + <p> + TUZENBACH. Yes, let’s. About what? + </p> + <p> + VERSHININ. About what? Let us meditate... about life as it will be after + our time; for example, in two or three hundred years. + </p> + <p> + TUZENBACH. Well? After our time people will fly about in balloons, the + cut of one’s coat will change, perhaps they’ll discover a sixth sense + and develop it, but life will remain the same, laborious, mysterious, + and happy. And in a thousand years’ time, people will still be sighing: + “Life is hard!”—and at the same time they’ll be just as afraid of + death, and unwilling to meet it, as we are. + </p> + <p> + VERSHININ. [Thoughtfully] How can I put it? It seems to me that + everything on earth must change, little by little, and is already + changing under our very eyes. After two or three hundred years, after a + thousand—the actual time doesn’t matter—a new and happy age + will begin. We, of course, shall not take part in it, but we live and + work and even suffer to-day that it should come. We create it—and + in that one object is our destiny and, if you like, our happiness. + </p> + <p> + [MASHA laughs softly.] + </p> + <p> + TUZENBACH. What is it? + </p> + <p> + MASHA. I don’t know. I’ve been laughing all day, ever since morning. + </p> + <p> + VERSHININ. I finished my education at the same point as you, I have not + studied at universities; I read a lot, but I cannot choose my books and + perhaps what I read is not at all what I should, but the longer I love, + the more I want to know. My hair is turning white, I am nearly an old + man now, but I know so little, oh, so little! But I think I know the + things that matter most, and that are most real. I know them well. And I + wish I could make you understand that there is no happiness for us, that + there should not and cannot be.... We must only work and work, and + happiness is only for our distant posterity. [Pause] If not for me, then + for the descendants of my descendants. + </p> + <p> + [FEDOTIK and RODE come into the dining-room; they sit and sing softly, + strumming on a guitar.] + </p> + <p> + TUZENBACH. According to you, one should not even think about happiness! + But suppose I am happy! + </p> + <p> + VERSHININ. No. + </p> + <p> + TUZENBACH. [Moves his hands and laughs] We do not seem to understand + each other. How can I convince you? [MASHA laughs quietly, TUZENBACH + continues, pointing at her] Yes, laugh! [To VERSHININ] Not only after + two or three centuries, but in a million years, life will still be as it + was; life does not change, it remains for ever, following its own laws + which do not concern us, or which, at any rate, you will never find out. + Migrant birds, cranes for example, fly and fly, and whatever thoughts, + high or low, enter their heads, they will still fly and not know why or + where. They fly and will continue to fly, whatever philosophers come to + life among them; they may philosophize as much as they like, only they + will fly.... + </p> + <p> + MASHA. Still, is there a meaning? + </p> + <p> + TUZENBACH. A meaning.... Now the snow is falling. What meaning? [Pause.] + </p> + <p> + MASHA. It seems to me that a man must have faith, or must search for a + faith, or his life will be empty, empty.... To live and not to know why + the cranes fly, why babies are born, why there are stars in the sky.... + Either you must know why you live, or everything is trivial, not worth a + straw. [A pause.] + </p> + <p> + VERSHININ. Still, I am sorry that my youth has gone. + </p> + <p> + MASHA. Gogol says: life in this world is a dull matter, my masters! + </p> + <p> + TUZENBACH. And I say it’s difficult to argue with you, my masters! Hang + it all. + </p> + <p> + CHEBUTIKIN. [Reading] Balzac was married at Berdichev. [IRINA is singing + softly] That’s worth making a note of. [He makes a note] Balzac was + married at Berdichev. [Goes on reading.] + </p> + <p> + IRINA. [Laying out cards, thoughtfully] Balzac was married at Berdichev. + </p> + <p> + TUZENBACH. The die is cast. I’ve handed in my resignation, Maria + Sergeyevna. + </p> + <p> + MASHA. So I heard. I don’t see what good it is; I don’t like civilians. + </p> + <p> + TUZENBACH. Never mind.... [Gets up] I’m not handsome; what use am I as a + soldier? Well, it makes no difference... I shall work. If only just once + in my life I could work so that I could come home in the evening, fall + exhausted on my bed, and go to sleep at once. [Going into the + dining-room] Workmen, I suppose, do sleep soundly! + </p> + <p> + FEDOTIK. [To IRINA] I bought some coloured pencils for you at Pizhikov’s + in the Moscow Road, just now. And here is a little knife. + </p> + <p> + IRINA. You have got into the habit of behaving to me as if I am a little + girl, but I am grown up. [Takes the pencils and the knife, then, with + joy] How lovely! + </p> + <p> + FEDOTIK. And I bought myself a knife... look at it... one blade, + another, a third, an ear-scoop, scissors, nail-cleaners. + </p> + <p> + RODE. [Loudly] Doctor, how old are you? + </p> + <p> + CHEBUTIKIN. I? Thirty-two. [Laughter] + </p> + <p> + FEDOTIK. I’ll show you another kind of patience.... [Lays out cards.] + </p> + <p> + [A samovar is brought in; ANFISA attends to it; a little later NATASHA + enters and helps by the table; SOLENI arrives and, after greetings, sits + by the table.] + </p> + <p> + VERSHININ. What a wind! + </p> + <p> + MASHA. Yes. I’m tired of winter. I’ve already forgotten what summer’s + like. + </p> + <p> + IRINA. It’s coming out, I see. We’re going to Moscow. + </p> + <p> + FEDOTIK. No, it won’t come out. Look, the eight was on the two of + spades. [Laughs] That means you won’t go to Moscow. + </p> + <p> + CHEBUTIKIN. [Reading paper] Tsitsigar. Smallpox is raging here. + </p> + <p> + ANFISA. [Coming up to MASHA] Masha, have some tea, little mother. [To + VERSHININ] Please have some, sir... excuse me, but I’ve forgotten your + name.... + </p> + <p> + MASHA. Bring some here, nurse. I shan’t go over there. + </p> + <p> + IRINA. Nurse! + </p> + <p> + ANFISA. Coming, coming! + </p> + <p> + NATASHA. [To SOLENI] Children at the breast understand perfectly. I said + “Good morning, Bobby; good morning, dear!” And he looked at me in quite + an unusual way. You think it’s only the mother in me that is speaking; I + assure you that isn’t so! He’s a wonderful child. + </p> + <p> + SOLENI. If he was my child I’d roast him on a frying-pan and eat him. + [Takes his tumbler into the drawing-room and sits in a corner.] + </p> + <p> + NATASHA. [Covers her face in her hands] Vulgar, ill-bred man! + </p> + <p> + MASHA. He’s lucky who doesn’t notice whether it’s winter now, or summer. + I think that if I were in Moscow, I shouldn’t mind about the weather. + </p> + <p> + VERSHININ. A few days ago I was reading the prison diary of a French + minister. He had been sentenced on account of the Panama scandal. With + what joy, what delight, he speaks of the birds he saw through the prison + windows, which he had never noticed while he was a minister. Now, of + course, that he is at liberty, he notices birds no more than he did + before. When you go to live in Moscow you’ll not notice it, in just the + same way. There can be no happiness for us, it only exists in our + wishes. + </p> + <p> + TUZENBACH. [Takes cardboard box from the table] Where are the pastries? + </p> + <p> + IRINA. Soleni has eaten them. + </p> + <p> + TUZENBACH. All of them? + </p> + <p> + ANFISA. [Serving tea] There’s a letter for you. + </p> + <p> + VERSHININ. For me? [Takes the letter] From my daughter. [Reads] Yes, of + course... I will go quietly. Excuse me, Maria Sergeyevna. I shan’t have + any tea. [Stands up, excited] That eternal story.... + </p> + <p> + MASHA. What is it? Is it a secret? + </p> + <p> + VERSHININ. [Quietly] My wife has poisoned herself again. I must go. I’ll + go out quietly. It’s all awfully unpleasant. [Kisses MASHA’S hand] My + dear, my splendid, good woman... I’ll go this way, quietly. [Exit.] + </p> + <p> + ANFISA. Where has he gone? And I’d served tea.... What a man. + </p> + <p> + MASHA. [Angrily] Be quiet! You bother so one can’t have a moment’s + peace.... [Goes to the table with her cup] I’m tired of you, old woman! + </p> + <p> + ANFISA. My dear! Why are you offended! + </p> + <p> + ANDREY’S VOICE. Anfisa! + </p> + <p> + ANFISA. [Mocking] Anfisa! He sits there and... [Exit.] + </p> + <p> + MASHA. [In the dining-room, by the table angrily] Let me sit down! + [Disturbs the cards on the table] Here you are, spreading your cards + out. Have some tea! + </p> + <p> + IRINA. You are cross, Masha. + </p> + <p> + MASHA. If I am cross, then don’t talk to me. Don’t touch me! + </p> + <p> + CHEBUTIKIN. Don’t touch her, don’t touch her.... + </p> + <p> + MASHA. You’re sixty, but you’re like a boy, always up to some beastly + nonsense. + </p> + <p> + NATASHA. [Sighs] Dear Masha, why use such expressions? With your + beautiful exterior you would be simply fascinating in good society, I + tell you so directly, if it wasn’t for your words. <i>Je vous prie, + pardonnez moi, Marie, mais vous avez des manières un peu grossières</i>. + </p> + <p> + TUZENBACH. [Restraining his laughter] Give me... give me... there’s some + cognac, I think. + </p> + <p> + NATASHA. <i>Il parait, que mon Bobick déjà ne dort pas</i>, he has + awakened. He isn’t well to-day. I’ll go to him, excuse me... [Exit.] + </p> + <p> + IRINA. Where has Alexander Ignateyevitch gone? + </p> + <p> + MASHA. Home. Something extraordinary has happened to his wife again. + </p> + <p> + TUZENBACH. [Goes to SOLENI with a cognac-flask in his hands] You go on + sitting by yourself, thinking of something—goodness knows what. + Come and let’s make peace. Let’s have some cognac. [They drink] I expect + I’ll have to play the piano all night, some rubbish most likely... well, + so be it! + </p> + <p> + SOLENI. Why make peace? I haven’t quarrelled with you. + </p> + <p> + TUZENBACH. You always make me feel as if something has taken place + between us. You’ve a strange character, you must admit. + </p> + <p> + SOLENI. [Declaims] “I am strange, but who is not? Don’t be angry, + Aleko!” + </p> + <p> + TUZENBACH. And what has Aleko to do with it? [Pause.] + </p> + <p> + SOLENI. When I’m with one other man I behave just like everybody else, + but in company I’m dull and shy and... talk all manner of rubbish. But + I’m more honest and more honourable than very, very many people. And I + can prove it. + </p> + <p> + TUZENBACH. I often get angry with you, you always fasten on to me in + company, but I like you all the same. I’m going to drink my fill + to-night, whatever happens. Drink, now! + </p> + <p> + SOLENI. Let’s drink. [They drink] I never had anything against you, + Baron. But my character is like Lermontov’s [In a low voice] I even + rather resemble Lermontov, they say.... [Takes a scent-bottle from his + pocket, and scents his hands.] + </p> + <p> + TUZENBACH. I’ve sent in my resignation. Basta! I’ve been thinking about + it for five years, and at last made up my mind. I shall work. + </p> + <p> + SOLENI. [Declaims] “Do not be angry, Aleko... forget, forget, thy dreams + of yore....” + </p> + <p> + [While he is speaking ANDREY enters quietly with a book, and sits by the + table.] + </p> + <p> + TUZENBACH. I shall work. + </p> + <p> + CHEBUTIKIN. [Going with IRINA into the dining-room] And the food was + also real Caucasian onion soup, and, for a roast, some chehartma. + </p> + <p> + SOLENI. Cheremsha [Note: A variety of garlic.] isn’t meat at all, but a + plant something like an onion. + </p> + <p> + CHEBUTIKIN. No, my angel. Chehartma isn’t onion, but roast mutton. + </p> + <p> + SOLENI. And I tell you, chehartma—is a sort of onion. + </p> + <p> + CHEBUTIKIN. And I tell you, chehartma—is mutton. + </p> + <p> + SOLENI. And I tell you, cheremsha—is a sort of onion. + </p> + <p> + CHEBUTIKIN. What’s the use of arguing! You’ve never been in the + Caucasus, and never ate any chehartma. + </p> + <p> + SOLENI. I never ate it, because I hate it. It smells like garlic. + </p> + <p> + ANDREY. [Imploring] Please, please! I ask you! + </p> + <p> + TUZENBACH. When are the entertainers coming? + </p> + <p> + IRINA. They promised for about nine; that is, quite soon. + </p> + <p> + TUZENBACH. [Embraces ANDREY] + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + “Oh my house, my house, my new-built house.” + </pre> + <p> + ANDREY. [Dances and sings] “Newly-built of maple-wood.” + </p> + <p> + CHEBUTIKIN. [Dances] + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + “Its walls are like a sieve!” [Laughter.] +</pre> + <p> + TUZENBACH. [Kisses ANDREY] Hang it all, let’s drink. Andrey, old boy, + let’s drink with you. And I’ll go with you, Andrey, to the University of + Moscow. + </p> + <p> + SOLENI. Which one? There are two universities in Moscow. + </p> + <p> + ANDREY. There’s one university in Moscow. + </p> + <p> + SOLENI. Two, I tell you. + </p> + <p> + ANDREY. Don’t care if there are three. So much the better. + </p> + <p> + SOLENI. There are two universities in Moscow! [There are murmurs and + “hushes”] There are two universities in Moscow, the old one and the new + one. And if you don’t like to listen, if my words annoy you, then I need + not speak. I can even go into another room.... [Exit.] + </p> + <p> + TUZENBACH. Bravo, bravo! [Laughs] Come on, now. I’m going to play. Funny + man, Soleni.... [Goes to the piano and plays a waltz.] + </p> + <p> + MASHA. [Dancing solo] The Baron’s drunk, the Baron’s drunk, the Baron’s + drunk! + </p> + <p> + [NATASHA comes in.] + </p> + <p> + NATASHA. [To CHEBUTIKIN] Ivan Romanovitch! + </p> + <p> + [Says something to CHEBUTIKIN, then goes out quietly; CHEBUTIKIN touches + TUZENBACH on the shoulder and whispers something to him.] + </p> + <p> + IRINA. What is it? + </p> + <p> + CHEBUTIKIN. Time for us to go. Good-bye. + </p> + <p> + TUZENBACH. Good-night. It’s time we went. + </p> + <p> + IRINA. But, really, the entertainers? + </p> + <p> + ANDREY. [In confusion] There won’t be any entertainers. You see, dear, + Natasha says that Bobby isn’t quite well, and so.... In a word, I don’t + care, and it’s absolutely all one to me. + </p> + <p> + IRINA. [Shrugging her shoulders] Bobby ill! + </p> + <p> + MASHA. What is she thinking of! Well, if they are sent home, I suppose + they must go. [To IRINA] Bobby’s all right, it’s she herself.... Here! + [Taps her forehead] Little bourgeoise! + </p> + <p> + [ANDREY goes to his room through the right-hand door, CHEBUTIKIN follows + him. In the dining-room they are saying good-bye.] + </p> + <p> + FEDOTIK. What a shame! I was expecting to spend the evening here, but of + course, if the little baby is ill... I’ll bring him some toys to-morrow. + </p> + <p> + RODE. [Loudly] I slept late after dinner to-day because I thought I was + going to dance all night. It’s only nine o’clock now! + </p> + <p> + MASHA. Let’s go into the street, we can talk there. Then we can settle + things. + </p> + <p> + (Good-byes and good nights are heard. TUZENBACH’S merry laughter is + heard. [All go out] ANFISA and the maid clear the table, and put out the + lights. [The nurse sings] ANDREY, wearing an overcoat and a hat, and + CHEBUTIKIN enter silently.) + </p> + <p> + CHEBUTIKIN. I never managed to get married because my life flashed by + like lightning, and because I was madly in love with your mother, who + was married. + </p> + <p> + ANDREY. One shouldn’t marry. One shouldn’t, because it’s dull. + </p> + <p> + CHEBUTIKIN. So there I am, in my loneliness. Say what you will, + loneliness is a terrible thing, old fellow.... Though really... of + course, it absolutely doesn’t matter! + </p> + <p> + ANDREY. Let’s be quicker. + </p> + <p> + CHEBUTIKIN. What are you in such a hurry for? We shall be in time. + </p> + <p> + ANDREY. I’m afraid my wife may stop me. + </p> + <p> + CHEBUTIKIN. Ah! + </p> + <p> + ANDREY. I shan’t play to-night, I shall only sit and look on. I don’t + feel very well.... What am I to do for my asthma, Ivan Romanovitch? + </p> + <p> + CHEBUTIKIN. Don’t ask me! I don’t remember, old fellow, I don’t know. + </p> + <p> + ANDREY. Let’s go through the kitchen. [They go out.] + </p> + <p> + [A bell rings, then a second time; voices and laughter are heard.] + </p> + <p> + IRINA. [Enters] What’s that? + </p> + <p> + ANFISA. [Whispers] The entertainers! [Bell.] + </p> + <p> + IRINA. Tell them there’s nobody at home, nurse. They must excuse us. + </p> + <p> + [ANFISA goes out. IRINA walks about the room deep in thought; she is + excited. SOLENI enters.] + </p> + <p> + SOLENI. [In surprise] There’s nobody here.... Where are they all? + </p> + <p> + IRINA. They’ve gone home. + </p> + <p> + SOLENI. How strange. Are you here alone? + </p> + <p> + IRINA. Yes, alone. [A pause] Good-bye. + </p> + <p> + SOLENI. Just now I behaved tactlessly, with insufficient reserve. But + you are not like all the others, you are noble and pure, you can see the + truth.... You alone can understand me. I love you, deeply, beyond + measure, I love you. + </p> + <p> + IRINA. Good-bye! Go away. + </p> + <p> + SOLENI. I cannot live without you. [Follows her] Oh, my happiness! + [Through his tears] Oh, joy! Wonderful, marvellous, glorious eyes, such + as I have never seen before.... + </p> + <p> + IRINA. [Coldly] Stop it, Vassili Vassilevitch! + </p> + <p> + SOLENI. This is the first time I speak to you of love, and it is as if I + am no longer on the earth, but on another planet. [Wipes his forehead] + Well, never mind. I can’t make you love me by force, of course... but I + don’t intend to have any more-favoured rivals.... No... I swear to you + by all the saints, I shall kill my rival.... Oh, beautiful one! + </p> + <p> + [NATASHA enters with a candle; she looks in through one door, then + through another, and goes past the door leading to her husband’s room.] + </p> + <p> + NATASHA. Here’s Andrey. Let him go on reading. Excuse me, Vassili + Vassilevitch, I did not know you were here; I am engaged in + domesticities. + </p> + <p> + SOLENI. It’s all the same to me. Good-bye! [Exit.] + </p> + <p> + NATASHA. You’re so tired, my poor dear girl! [Kisses IRINA] If you only + went to bed earlier. + </p> + <p> + IRINA. Is Bobby asleep? + </p> + <p> + NATASHA. Yes, but restlessly. By the way, dear, I wanted to tell you, + but either you weren’t at home, or I was busy... I think Bobby’s present + nursery is cold and damp. And your room would be so nice for the child. + My dear, darling girl, do change over to Olga’s for a bit! + </p> + <p> + IRINA. [Not understanding] Where? + </p> + <p> + [The bells of a troika are heard as it drives up to the house.] + </p> + <p> + NATASHA. You and Olga can share a room, for the time being, and Bobby + can have yours. He’s such a darling; to-day I said to him, “Bobby, + you’re mine! Mine!” And he looked at me with his dear little eyes. [A + bell rings] It must be Olga. How late she is! [The maid enters and + whispers to NATASHA] Protopopov? What a queer man to do such a thing. + Protopopov’s come and wants me to go for a drive with him in his troika. + [Laughs] How funny these men are.... [A bell rings] Somebody has come. + Suppose I did go and have half an hour’s drive.... [To the maid] Say I + shan’t be long. [Bell rings] Somebody’s ringing, it must be Olga. + [Exit.] + </p> + <p> + [The maid runs out; IRINA sits deep in thought; KULIGIN and OLGA enter, + followed by VERSHININ.] + </p> + <p> + KULIGIN. Well, there you are. And you said there was going to be a + party. + </p> + <p> + VERSHININ. It’s queer; I went away not long ago, half an hour ago, and + they were expecting entertainers. + </p> + <p> + IRINA. They’ve all gone. + </p> + <p> + KULIGIN. Has Masha gone too? Where has she gone? And what’s Protopopov + waiting for downstairs in his troika? Whom is he expecting? + </p> + <p> + IRINA. Don’t ask questions... I’m tired. + </p> + <p> + KULIGIN. Oh, you’re all whimsies.... + </p> + <p> + OLGA. My committee meeting is only just over. I’m tired out. Our + chairwoman is ill, so I had to take her place. My head, my head is + aching.... [Sits] Andrey lost 200 roubles at cards yesterday... the + whole town is talking about it.... + </p> + <p> + KULIGIN. Yes, my meeting tired me too. [Sits.] + </p> + <p> + VERSHININ. My wife took it into her head to frighten me just now by + nearly poisoning herself. It’s all right now, and I’m glad; I can rest + now.... But perhaps we ought to go away? Well, my best wishes, Feodor + Ilitch, let’s go somewhere together! I can’t, I absolutely can’t stop at + home.... Come on! + </p> + <p> + KULIGIN. I’m tired. I won’t go. [Gets up] I’m tired. Has my wife gone + home? + </p> + <p> + IRINA. I suppose so. + </p> + <p> + KULIGIN. [Kisses IRINA’S hand] Good-bye, I’m going to rest all day + to-morrow and the day after. Best wishes! [Going] I should like some + tea. I was looking forward to spending the whole evening in pleasant + company and—o, fallacem hominum spem!... Accusative case after an + interjection.... + </p> + <p> + VERSHININ. Then I’ll go somewhere by myself. [Exit with KULIGIN, + whistling.] + </p> + <p> + OLGA. I’ve such a headache... Andrey has been losing money.... The whole + town is talking.... I’ll go and lie down. [Going] I’m free to-morrow.... + Oh, my God, what a mercy! I’m free to-morrow, I’m free the day after.... + Oh my head, my head.... [Exit.] + </p> + <p> + IRINA. [alone] They’ve all gone. Nobody’s left. + </p> + <p> + [A concertina is being played in the street. The nurse sings.] + </p> + <p> + NATASHA. [in fur coat and cap, steps across the dining-room, followed by + the maid] I’ll be back in half an hour. I’m only going for a little + drive. [Exit.] + </p> + <p> + IRINA. [Alone in her misery] To Moscow! Moscow! Moscow! + </p> + <p> + Curtain. + </p> + <a name="link2H_4_0011" id="link2H_4_0011"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + ACT III + </h2> + <p> + [The room shared by OLGA and IRINA. Beds, screened off, on the right and + left. It is past 2 a.m. Behind the stage a fire-alarm is ringing; it has + apparently been going for some time. Nobody in the house has gone to bed + yet. MASHA is lying on a sofa dressed, as usual, in black. Enter OLGA + and ANFISA.] + </p> + <p> + ANFISA. Now they are downstairs, sitting under the stairs. I said to + them, “Won’t you come up,” I said, “You can’t go on like this,” and they + simply cried, “We don’t know where father is.” They said, “He may be + burnt up by now.” What an idea! And in the yard there are some people... + also undressed. + </p> + <p> + OLGA. [Takes a dress out of the cupboard] Take this grey dress.... And + this... and the blouse as well.... Take the skirt, too, nurse.... My + God! How awful it is! The whole of the Kirsanovsky Road seems to have + burned down. Take this... and this.... [Throws clothes into her hands] + The poor Vershinins are so frightened.... Their house was nearly burnt. + They ought to come here for the night.... They shouldn’t be allowed to + go home.... Poor Fedotik is completely burnt out, there’s nothing + left.... + </p> + <p> + ANFISA. Couldn’t you call Ferapont, Olga dear. I can hardly manage.... + </p> + <p> + OLGA. [Rings] They’ll never answer.... [At the door] Come here, whoever + there is! [Through the open door can be seen a window, red with flame: + afire-engine is heard passing the house] How awful this is. And how I’m + sick of it! [FERAPONT enters] Take these things down.... The Kolotilin + girls are down below... and let them have them. This, too. + </p> + <p> + FERAPONT. Yes’m. In the year twelve Moscow was burning too. Oh, my God! + The Frenchmen were surprised. + </p> + <p> + OLGA. Go on, go on.... + </p> + <p> + FERAPONT. Yes’m. [Exit.] + </p> + <p> + OLGA. Nurse, dear, let them have everything. We don’t want anything. + Give it all to them, nurse.... I’m tired, I can hardly keep on my + legs.... The Vershinins mustn’t be allowed to go home.... The girls can + sleep in the drawing-room, and Alexander Ignateyevitch can go downstairs + to the Baron’s flat... Fedotik can go there, too, or else into our + dining-room.... The doctor is drunk, beastly drunk, as if on purpose, so + nobody can go to him. Vershinin’s wife, too, may go into the + drawing-room. + </p> + <p> + ANFISA. [Tired] Olga, dear girl, don’t dismiss me! Don’t dismiss me! + </p> + <p> + OLGA. You’re talking nonsense, nurse. Nobody is dismissing you. + </p> + <p> + ANFISA. [Puts OLGA’S head against her bosom] My dear, precious girl, I’m + working, I’m toiling away... I’m growing weak, and they’ll all say go + away! And where shall I go? Where? I’m eighty. Eighty-one years old.... + </p> + <p> + OLGA. You sit down, nurse dear.... You’re tired, poor dear.... [Makes + her sit down] Rest, dear. You’re so pale! + </p> + <p> + [NATASHA comes in.] + </p> + <p> + NATASHA. They are saying that a committee to assist the sufferers from + the fire must be formed at once. What do you think of that? It’s a + beautiful idea. Of course the poor ought to be helped, it’s the duty of + the rich. Bobby and little Sophy are sleeping, sleeping as if nothing at + all was the matter. There’s such a lot of people here, the place is full + of them, wherever you go. There’s influenza in the town now. I’m afraid + the children may catch it. + </p> + <p> + OLGA. [Not attending] In this room we can’t see the fire, it’s quiet + here. + </p> + <p> + NATASHA. Yes... I suppose I’m all untidy. [Before the looking-glass] + They say I’m growing stout... it isn’t true! Certainly it isn’t! Masha’s + asleep; the poor thing is tired out.... [Coldly, to ANFISA] Don’t dare + to be seated in my presence! Get up! Out of this! [Exit ANFISA; a pause] + I don’t understand what makes you keep on that old woman! + </p> + <p> + OLGA. [Confusedly] Excuse me, I don’t understand either... + </p> + <p> + NATASHA. She’s no good here. She comes from the country, she ought to + live there.... Spoiling her, I call it! I like order in the house! We + don’t want any unnecessary people here. [Strokes her cheek] You’re + tired, poor thing! Our head mistress is tired! And when my little Sophie + grows up and goes to school I shall be so afraid of you. + </p> + <p> + OLGA. I shan’t be head mistress. + </p> + <p> + NATASHA. They’ll appoint you, Olga. It’s settled. + </p> + <p> + OLGA. I’ll refuse the post. I can’t... I’m not strong enough.... [Drinks + water] You were so rude to nurse just now... I’m sorry. I can’t stand + it... everything seems dark in front of me.... + </p> + <p> + NATASHA. [Excited] Forgive me, Olga, forgive me... I didn’t want to + annoy you. + </p> + <p> + [MASHA gets up, takes a pillow and goes out angrily.] + </p> + <p> + OLGA. Remember, dear... we have been brought up, in an unusual way, + perhaps, but I can’t bear this. Such behaviour has a bad effect on me, I + get ill... I simply lose heart! + </p> + <p> + NATASHA. Forgive me, forgive me.... [Kisses her.] + </p> + <p> + OLGA. Even the least bit of rudeness, the slightest impoliteness, upsets + me. + </p> + <p> + NATASHA. I often say too much, it’s true, but you must agree, dear, that + she could just as well live in the country. + </p> + <p> + OLGA. She has been with us for thirty years. + </p> + <p> + NATASHA. But she can’t do any work now. Either I don’t understand, or + you don’t want to understand me. She’s no good for work, she can only + sleep or sit about. + </p> + <p> + OLGA. And let her sit about. + </p> + <p> + NATASHA. [Surprised] What do you mean? She’s only a servant. [Crying] I + don’t understand you, Olga. I’ve got a nurse, a wet-nurse, we’ve a cook, + a housemaid... what do we want that old woman for as well? What good is + she? [Fire-alarm behind the stage.] + </p> + <p> + OLGA. I’ve grown ten years older to-night. + </p> + <p> + NATASHA. We must come to an agreement, Olga. Your place is the school, + mine—the home. You devote yourself to teaching, I, to the + household. And if I talk about servants, then I do know what I am + talking about; I do know what I am talking about... And to-morrow + there’s to be no more of that old thief, that old hag... [Stamping] that + witch! And don’t you dare to annoy me! Don’t you dare! [Stopping short] + Really, if you don’t move downstairs, we shall always be quarrelling. + This is awful. + </p> + <p> + [Enter KULIGIN.] + </p> + <p> + KULIGIN. Where’s Masha? It’s time we went home. The fire seems to be + going down. [Stretches himself] Only one block has burnt down, but there + was such a wind that it seemed at first the whole town was going to + burn. [Sits] I’m tired out. My dear Olga... I often think that if it + hadn’t been for Masha, I should have married you. You are awfully + nice.... I am absolutely tired out. [Listens.] + </p> + <p> + OLGA. What is it? + </p> + <p> + KULIGIN. The doctor, of course, has been drinking hard; he’s terribly + drunk. He might have done it on purpose! [Gets up] He seems to be coming + here.... Do you hear him? Yes, here.... [Laughs] What a man... really... + I’ll hide myself. [Goes to the cupboard and stands in the corner] What a + rogue. + </p> + <p> + OLGA. He hadn’t touched a drop for two years, and now he suddenly goes + and gets drunk.... + </p> + <p> + [Retires with NATASHA to the back of the room. CHEBUTIKIN enters; + apparently sober, he stops, looks round, then goes to the wash-stand and + begins to wash his hands.] + </p> + <p> + CHEBUTIKIN. [Angrily] Devil take them all... take them all.... They + think I’m a doctor and can cure everything, and I know absolutely + nothing, I’ve forgotten all I ever knew, I remember nothing, absolutely + nothing. [OLGA and NATASHA go out, unnoticed by him] Devil take it. Last + Wednesday I attended a woman in Zasip—and she died, and it’s my + fault that she died. Yes... I used to know a certain amount + five-and-twenty years ago, but I don’t remember anything now. Nothing. + Perhaps I’m not really a man, and am only pretending that I’ve got arms + and legs and a head; perhaps I don’t exist at all, and only imagine that + I walk, and eat, and sleep. [Cries] Oh, if only I didn’t exist! [Stops + crying; angrily] The devil only knows.... Day before yesterday they were + talking in the club; they said, Shakespeare, Voltaire... I’d never read, + never read at all, and I put on an expression as if I had read. And so + did the others. Oh, how beastly! How petty! And then I remembered the + woman I killed on Wednesday... and I couldn’t get her out of my mind, + and everything in my mind became crooked, nasty, wretched.... So I went + and drank.... + </p> + <p> + [IRINA, VERSHININ and TUZENBACH enter; TUZENBACH is wearing new and + fashionable civilian clothes.] + </p> + <p> + IRINA. Let’s sit down here. Nobody will come in here. + </p> + <p> + VERSHININ. The whole town would have been destroyed if it hadn’t been + for the soldiers. Good men! [Rubs his hands appreciatively] Splendid + people! Oh, what a fine lot! + </p> + <p> + KULIGIN. [Coming up to him] What’s the time? + </p> + <p> + TUZENBACH. It’s past three now. It’s dawning. + </p> + <p> + IRINA. They are all sitting in the dining-room, nobody is going. And + that Soleni of yours is sitting there. [To CHEBUTIKIN] Hadn’t you better + be going to sleep, doctor? + </p> + <p> + CHEBUTIKIN. It’s all right... thank you.... [Combs his beard.] + </p> + <p> + KULIGIN. [Laughs] Speaking’s a bit difficult, eh, Ivan Romanovitch! + [Pats him on the shoulder] Good man! <i>In vino veritas</i>, the + ancients used to say. + </p> + <p> + TUZENBACH. They keep on asking me to get up a concert in aid of the + sufferers. + </p> + <p> + IRINA. As if one could do anything.... + </p> + <p> + TUZENBACH. It might be arranged, if necessary. In my opinion Maria + Sergeyevna is an excellent pianist. + </p> + <p> + KULIGIN. Yes, excellent! + </p> + <p> + IRINA. She’s forgotten everything. She hasn’t played for three years... + or four. + </p> + <p> + TUZENBACH. In this town absolutely nobody understands music, not a soul + except myself, but I do understand it, and assure you on my word of + honour that Maria Sergeyevna plays excellently, almost with genius. + </p> + <p> + KULIGIN. You are right, Baron, I’m awfully fond of Masha. She’s very + fine. + </p> + <p> + TUZENBACH. To be able to play so admirably and to realize at the same + time that nobody, nobody can understand you! + </p> + <p> + KULIGIN. [Sighs] Yes.... But will it be quite all right for her to take + part in a concert? [Pause] You see, I don’t know anything about it. + Perhaps it will even be all to the good. Although I must admit that our + Director is a good man, a very good man even, a very clever man, still + he has such views.... Of course it isn’t his business but still, if you + wish it, perhaps I’d better talk to him. + </p> + <p> + [CHEBUTIKIN takes a porcelain clock into his hands and examines it.] + </p> + <p> + VERSHININ. I got so dirty while the fire was on, I don’t look like + anybody on earth. [Pause] Yesterday I happened to hear, casually, that + they want to transfer our brigade to some distant place. Some said to + Poland, others, to Chita. + </p> + <p> + TUZENBACH. I heard so, too. Well, if it is so, the town will be quite + empty. + </p> + <p> + IRINA. And we’ll go away, too! + </p> + <p> + CHEBUTIKIN. [Drops the clock which breaks to pieces] To smithereens! + </p> + <p> + [A pause; everybody is pained and confused.] + </p> + <p> + KULIGIN. [Gathering up the pieces] To smash such a valuable object—oh, + Ivan Romanovitch, Ivan Romanovitch! A very bad mark for your + misbehaviour! + </p> + <p> + IRINA. That clock used to belong to our mother. + </p> + <p> + CHEBUTIKIN. Perhaps.... To your mother, your mother. Perhaps I didn’t + break it; it only looks as if I broke it. Perhaps we only think that we + exist, when really we don’t. I don’t know anything, nobody knows + anything. [At the door] What are you looking at? Natasha has a little + romance with Protopopov, and you don’t see it.... There you sit and see + nothing, and Natasha has a little romance with Protopovov.... [Sings] + Won’t you please accept this date.... [Exit.] + </p> + <p> + VERSHININ. Yes. [Laughs] How strange everything really is! [Pause] When + the fire broke out, I hurried off home; when I get there I see the house + is whole, uninjured, and in no danger, but my two girls are standing by + the door in just their underclothes, their mother isn’t there, the crowd + is excited, horses and dogs are running about, and the girls’ faces are + so agitated, terrified, beseeching, and I don’t know what else. My heart + was pained when I saw those faces. My God, I thought, what these girls + will have to put up with if they live long! I caught them up and ran, + and still kept on thinking the one thing: what they will have to live + through in this world! [Fire-alarm; a pause] I come here and find their + mother shouting and angry. [MASHA enters with a pillow and sits on the + sofa] And when my girls were standing by the door in just their + underclothes, and the street was red from the fire, there was a dreadful + noise, and I thought that something of the sort used to happen many + years ago when an enemy made a sudden attack, and looted, and burned.... + And at the same time what a difference there really is between the + present and the past! And when a little more time has gone by, in two or + three hundred years perhaps, people will look at our present life with + just the same fear, and the same contempt, and the whole past will seem + clumsy and dull, and very uncomfortable, and strange. Oh, indeed, what a + life there will be, what a life! [Laughs] Forgive me, I’ve dropped into + philosophy again. Please let me continue. I do awfully want to + philosophize, it’s just how I feel at present. [Pause] As if they are + all asleep. As I was saying: what a life there will be! Only just + imagine.... There are only three persons like yourselves in the town + just now, but in future generations there will be more and more, and + still more, and the time will come when everything will change and + become as you would have it, people will live as you do, and then you + too will go out of date; people will be born who are better than you.... + [Laughs] Yes, to-day I am quite exceptionally in the vein. I am + devilishly keen on living.... [Sings.] + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + “The power of love all ages know, + From its assaults great good does grow.” [Laughs.] +</pre> + <p> + MASHA. Trum-tum-tum... + </p> + <p> + VERSHININ. Tum-tum... + </p> + <p> + MASHA. Tra-ra-ra? + </p> + <p> + VERSHININ. Tra-ta-ta. [Laughs.] + </p> + <p> + [Enter FEDOTIK.] + </p> + <p> + FEDOTIK. [Dancing] I’m burnt out, I’m burnt out! Down to the ground! + [Laughter.] + </p> + <p> + IRINA. I don’t see anything funny about it. Is everything burnt? + </p> + <p> + FEDOTIK. [Laughs] Absolutely. Nothing left at all. The guitar’s burnt, + and the photographs are burnt, and all my correspondence.... And I was + going to make you a present of a note-book, and that’s burnt too. + </p> + <p> + [SOLENI comes in.] + </p> + <p> + IRINA. No, you can’t come here, Vassili Vassilevitch. Please go away. + </p> + <p> + SOLENI. Why can the Baron come here and I can’t? + </p> + <p> + VERSHININ. We really must go. How’s the fire? + </p> + <p> + SOLENI. They say it’s going down. No, I absolutely don’t see why the + Baron can, and I can’t? [Scents his hands.] + </p> + <p> + VERSHININ. Trum-tum-tum. + </p> + <p> + MASHA. Trum-tum. + </p> + <p> + VERSHININ. [Laughs to SOLENI] Let’s go into the dining-room. + </p> + <p> + SOLENI. Very well, we’ll make a note of it. “If I should try to make + this clear, the geese would be annoyed, I fear.” [Looks at TUZENBACH] + There, there, there.... [Goes out with VERSHININ and FEDOTIK.] + </p> + <p> + IRINA. How Soleni smelt of tobacco.... [In surprise] The Baron’s asleep! + Baron! Baron! + </p> + <p> + TUZENBACH. [Waking] I am tired, I must say.... The brickworks.... No, + I’m not wandering, I mean it; I’m going to start work soon at the + brickworks... I’ve already talked it over. [Tenderly, to IRINA] You’re + so pale, and beautiful, and charming.... Your paleness seems to shine + through the dark air as if it was a light.... You are sad, displeased + with life.... Oh, come with me, let’s go and work together! + </p> + <p> + MASHA. Nicolai Lvovitch, go away from here. + </p> + <p> + TUZENBACH. [Laughs] Are you here? I didn’t see you. [Kisses IRINA’S + hand] good-bye, I’ll go... I look at you now and I remember, as if it + was long ago, your name-day, when you, cheerfully and merrily, were + talking about the joys of labour.... And how happy life seemed to me, + then! What has happened to it now? [Kisses her hand] There are tears in + your eyes. Go to bed now; it is already day... the morning begins.... If + only I was allowed to give my life for you! + </p> + <p> + MASHA. Nicolai Lvovitch, go away! What business... + </p> + <p> + TUZENBACH. I’m off. [Exit.] + </p> + <p> + MASHA. [Lies down] Are you asleep, Feodor? + </p> + <p> + KULIGIN. Eh? + </p> + <p> + MASHA. Shouldn’t you go home. + </p> + <p> + KULIGIN. My dear Masha, my darling Masha.... + </p> + <p> + IRINA. She’s tired out. You might let her rest, Fedia. + </p> + <p> + KULIGIN. I’ll go at once. My wife’s a good, splendid... I love you, my + only one.... + </p> + <p> + MASHA. [Angrily] Amo, amas, amat, amamus, amatis, amant. + </p> + <p> + KULIGIN. [Laughs] No, she really is wonderful. I’ve been your husband + seven years, and it seems as if I was only married yesterday. On my + word. No, you really are a wonderful woman. I’m satisfied, I’m + satisfied, I’m satisfied! + </p> + <p> + MASHA. I’m bored, I’m bored, I’m bored.... [Sits up] But I can’t get it + out of my head.... It’s simply disgraceful. It has been gnawing away at + me... I can’t keep silent. I mean about Andrey.... He has mortgaged this + house with the bank, and his wife has got all the money; but the house + doesn’t belong to him alone, but to the four of us! He ought to know + that, if he’s an honourable man. + </p> + <p> + KULIGIN. What’s the use, Masha? Andrey is in debt all round; well, let + him do as he pleases. + </p> + <p> + MASHA. It’s disgraceful, anyway. [Lies down] + </p> + <p> + KULIGIN. You and I are not poor. I work, take my classes, give private + lessons... I am a plain, honest man... <i>Omnia mea mecum porto</i>, as + they say. + </p> + <p> + MASHA. I don’t want anything, but the unfairness of it disgusts me. + [Pause] You go, Feodor. + </p> + <p> + KULIGIN. [Kisses her] You’re tired, just rest for half an hour, and I’ll + sit and wait for you. Sleep.... [Going] I’m satisfied, I’m satisfied, + I’m satisfied. [Exit.] + </p> + <p> + IRINA. Yes, really, our Andrey has grown smaller; how he’s snuffed out + and aged with that woman! He used to want to be a professor, and + yesterday he was boasting that at last he had been made a member of the + district council. He is a member, and Protopopov is chairman.... The + whole town talks and laughs about it, and he alone knows and sees + nothing.... And now everybody’s gone to look at the fire, but he sits + alone in his room and pays no attention, only just plays on his fiddle. + [Nervily] Oh, it’s awful, awful, awful. [Weeps] I can’t, I can’t bear it + any longer!... I can’t, I can’t!... [OLGA comes in and clears up at her + little table. IRINA is sobbing loudly] Throw me out, throw me out, I + can’t bear any more! + </p> + <p> + OLGA. [Alarmed] What is it, what is it? Dear! + </p> + <p> + IRINA. [Sobbing] Where? Where has everything gone? Where is it all? Oh + my God, my God! I’ve forgotten everything, everything... I don’t + remember what is the Italian for window or, well, for ceiling... I + forget everything, every day I forget it, and life passes and will never + return, and we’ll never go away to Moscow... I see that we’ll never + go.... + </p> + <p> + OLGA. Dear, dear.... + </p> + <p> + IRINA. [Controlling herself] Oh, I am unhappy... I can’t work, I shan’t + work. Enough, enough! I used to be a telegraphist, now I work at the + town council offices, and I have nothing but hate and contempt for all + they give me to do... I am already twenty-three, I have already been at + work for a long while, and my brain has dried up, and I’ve grown + thinner, plainer, older, and there is no relief of any sort, and time + goes and it seems all the while as if I am going away from the real, the + beautiful life, farther and farther away, down some precipice. I’m in + despair and I can’t understand how it is that I am still alive, that I + haven’t killed myself. + </p> + <p> + OLGA. Don’t cry, dear girl, don’t cry... I suffer, too. + </p> + <p> + IRINA. I’m not crying, not crying.... Enough.... Look, I’m not crying + any more. Enough... enough! + </p> + <p> + OLGA. Dear, I tell you as a sister and a friend if you want my advice, + marry the Baron. [IRINA cries softly] You respect him, you think highly + of him.... It is true that he is not handsome, but he is so honourable + and clean... people don’t marry from love, but in order to do one’s + duty. I think so, at any rate, and I’d marry without being in love. + Whoever he was, I should marry him, so long as he was a decent man. Even + if he was old.... + </p> + <p> + IRINA. I was always waiting until we should be settled in Moscow, there + I should meet my true love; I used to think about him, and love him.... + But it’s all turned out to be nonsense, all nonsense.... + </p> + <p> + OLGA. [Embraces her sister] My dear, beautiful sister, I understand + everything; when Baron Nicolai Lvovitch left the army and came to us in + evening dress, [Note: I.e. in the correct dress for making a proposal of + marriage.] he seemed so bad-looking to me that I even started crying.... + He asked, “What are you crying for?” How could I tell him! But if God + brought him to marry you, I should be happy. That would be different, + quite different. + </p> + <p> + [NATASHA with a candle walks across the stage from right to left without + saying anything.] + </p> + <p> + MASHA. [Sitting up] She walks as if she’s set something on fire. + </p> + <p> + OLGA. Masha, you’re silly, you’re the silliest of the family. Please + forgive me for saying so. [Pause.] + </p> + <p> + MASHA. I want to make a confession, dear sisters. My soul is in pain. I + will confess to you, and never again to anybody... I’ll tell you this + minute. [Softly] It’s my secret but you must know everything... I can’t + be silent.... [Pause] I love, I love... I love that man.... You saw him + only just now.... Why don’t I say it... in one word. I love Vershinin. + </p> + <p> + OLGA. [Goes behind her screen] Stop that, I don’t hear you in any case. + </p> + <p> + MASHA. What am I to do? [Takes her head in her hands] First he seemed + queer to me, then I was sorry for him... then I fell in love with him... + fell in love with his voice, his words, his misfortunes, his two + daughters. + </p> + <p> + OLGA. [Behind the screen] I’m not listening. You may talk any nonsense + you like, it will be all the same, I shan’t hear. + </p> + <p> + MASHA. Oh, Olga, you are foolish. I am in love—that means that is + to be my fate. It means that is to be my lot.... And he loves me.... It + is all awful. Yes; it isn’t good, is it? [Takes IRINA’S hand and draws + her to her] Oh, my dear.... How are we going to live through our lives, + what is to become of us.... When you read a novel it all seems so old + and easy, but when you fall in love yourself, then you learn that nobody + knows anything, and each must decide for himself.... My dear ones, my + sisters... I’ve confessed, now I shall keep silence.... Like the + lunatics in Gogol’s story, I’m going to be silent... silent... + </p> + <p> + [ANDREY enters, followed by FERAPONT.] + </p> + <p> + ANDREY. [Angrily] What do you want? I don’t understand. + </p> + <p> + FERAPONT. [At the door, impatiently] I’ve already told you ten times, + Andrey Sergeyevitch. + </p> + <p> + ANDREY. In the first place I’m not Andrey Sergeyevitch, but sir. [Note: + Quite literally, “your high honour,” to correspond to Andrey’s rank as a + civil servant.] + </p> + <p> + FERAPONT. The firemen, sir, ask if they can go across your garden to the + river. Else they go right round, right round; it’s a nuisance. + </p> + <p> + ANDREY. All right. Tell them it’s all right. [Exit FERAPONT] I’m tired + of them. Where is Olga? [OLGA comes out from behind the screen] I came + to you for the key of the cupboard. I lost my own. You’ve got a little + key. [OLGA gives him the key; IRINA goes behind her screen; pause] What + a huge fire! It’s going down now. Hang it all, that Ferapont made me so + angry that I talked nonsense to him.... Sir, indeed.... [A pause] Why + are you so silent, Olga? [Pause] It’s time you stopped all that nonsense + and behaved as if you were properly alive.... You are here, Masha. Irina + is here, well, since we’re all here, let’s come to a complete + understanding, once and for all. What have you against me? What is it? + </p> + <p> + OLGA. Please don’t, Audrey dear. We’ll talk to-morrow. [Excited] What an + awful night! + </p> + <p> + ANDREY. [Much confused] Don’t excite yourself. I ask you in perfect + calmness; what have you against me? Tell me straight. + </p> + <p> + VERSHININ’S VOICE. Trum-tum-tum! + </p> + <p> + MASHA. [Stands; loudly] Tra-ta-ta! [To OLGA] Goodbye, Olga, God bless + you. [Goes behind screen and kisses IRINA] Sleep well.... Good-bye, + Andrey. Go away now, they’re tired... you can explain to-morrow.... + [Exit.] + </p> + <p> + ANDREY. I’ll only say this and go. Just now.... In the first place, + you’ve got something against Natasha, my wife; I’ve noticed it since the + very day of my marriage. Natasha is a beautiful and honest creature, + straight and honourable—that’s my opinion. I love and respect my + wife; understand it, I respect her, and I insist that others should + respect her too. I repeat, she’s an honest and honourable person, and + all your disapproval is simply silly... [Pause] In the second place, you + seem to be annoyed because I am not a professor, and am not engaged in + study. But I work for the zemstvo, I am a member of the district + council, and I consider my service as worthy and as high as the service + of science. I am a member of the district council, and I am proud of it, + if you want to know. [Pause] In the third place, I have still this to + say... that I have mortgaged the house without obtaining your + permission.... For that I am to blame, and ask to be forgiven. My debts + led me into doing it... thirty-five thousand... I do not play at cards + any more, I stopped long ago, but the chief thing I have to say in my + defence is that you girls receive a pension, and I don’t... my wages, so + to speak.... [Pause.] + </p> + <p> + KULIGIN. [At the door] Is Masha there? [Excitedly] Where is she? It’s + queer.... [Exit.] + </p> + <p> + ANDREY. They don’t hear. Natasha is a splendid, honest person. [Walks + about in silence, then stops] When I married I thought we should be + happy... all of us.... But, my God.... [Weeps] My dear, dear sisters, + don’t believe me, don’t believe me.... [Exit.] + </p> + <p> + [Fire-alarm. The stage is clear.] + </p> + <p> + IRINA. [behind her screen] Olga, who’s knocking on the floor? + </p> + <p> + OLGA. It’s doctor Ivan Romanovitch. He’s drunk. + </p> + <p> + IRINA. What a restless night! [Pause] Olga! [Looks out] Did you hear? + They are taking the brigade away from us; it’s going to be transferred + to some place far away. + </p> + <p> + OLGA. It’s only a rumour. + </p> + <p> + IRINA. Then we shall be left alone.... Olga! + </p> + <p> + OLGA. Well? + </p> + <p> + IRINA. My dear, darling sister, I esteem, I highly value the Baron, he’s + a splendid man; I’ll marry him, I’ll consent, only let’s go to Moscow! I + implore you, let’s go! There’s nothing better than Moscow on earth! + Let’s go, Olga, let’s go! + </p> + <p> + Curtain + </p> + <a name="link2H_4_0012" id="link2H_4_0012"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + ACT IV + </h2> + <p> + [The old garden at the house of the PROSOROVS. There is a long avenue of + firs, at the end of which the river can be seen. There is a forest on + the far side of the river. On the right is the terrace of the house: + bottles and tumblers are on a table here; it is evident that champagne + has just been drunk. It is midday. Every now and again passers-by walk + across the garden, from the road to the river; five soldiers go past + rapidly. CHEBUTIKIN, in a comfortable frame of mind which does not + desert him throughout the act, sits in an armchair in the garden, + waiting to be called. He wears a peaked cap and has a stick. IRINA, + KULIGIN with a cross hanging from his neck and without his moustaches, + and TUZENBACH are standing on the terrace seeing off FEDOTIK and RODE, + who are coming down into the garden; both officers are in service + uniform.] + </p> + <p> + TUZENBACH. [Exchanges kisses with FEDOTIK] You’re a good sort, we got on + so well together. [Exchanges kisses with RODE] Once again.... Good-bye, + old man! + </p> + <p> + IRINA. Au revoir! + </p> + <p> + FEDOTIK. It isn’t au revoir, it’s good-bye; we’ll never meet again! + </p> + <p> + KULIGIN. Who knows! [Wipes his eyes; smiles] Here I’ve started crying! + </p> + <p> + IRINA. We’ll meet again sometime. + </p> + <p> + FEDOTIK. After ten years—or fifteen? We’ll hardly know one another + then; we’ll say, “How do you do?” coldly.... [Takes a snapshot] Keep + still.... Once more, for the last time. + </p> + <p> + RODE. [Embracing TUZENBACH] We shan’t meet again.... [Kisses IRINA’S + hand] Thank you for everything, for everything! + </p> + <p> + FEDOTIK. [Grieved] Don’t be in such a hurry! + </p> + <p> + TUZENBACH. We shall meet again, if God wills it. Write to us. Be sure to + write. + </p> + <p> + RODE. [Looking round the garden] Good-bye, trees! [Shouts] Yo-ho! + [Pause] Good-bye, echo! + </p> + <p> + KULIGIN. Best wishes. Go and get yourselves wives there in Poland.... + Your Polish wife will clasp you and call you “kochanku!” [Note: + Darling.] [Laughs.] + </p> + <p> + FEDOTIK. [Looking at the time] There’s less than an hour left. Soleni is + the only one of our battery who is going on the barge; the rest of us + are going with the main body. Three batteries are leaving to-day, + another three to-morrow and then the town will be quiet and peaceful. + </p> + <p> + TUZENBACH. And terribly dull. + </p> + <p> + RODE. And where is Maria Sergeyevna? + </p> + <p> + KULIGIN. Masha is in the garden. + </p> + <p> + FEDOTIK. We’d like to say good-bye to her. + </p> + <p> + RODE. Good-bye, I must go, or else I’ll start weeping.... [Quickly + embraces KULIGIN and TUZENBACH, and kisses IRINA’S hand] We’ve been so + happy here.... + </p> + <p> + FEDOTIK. [To KULIGIN] Here’s a keepsake for you... a note-book with a + pencil.... We’ll go to the river from here.... [They go aside and both + look round.] + </p> + <p> + RODE. [Shouts] Yo-ho! + </p> + <p> + KULIGIN. [Shouts] Good-bye! + </p> + <p> + [At the back of the stage FEDOTIK and RODE meet MASHA; they say good-bye + and go out with her.] + </p> + <p> + IRINA. They’ve gone.... [Sits on the bottom step of the terrace.] + </p> + <p> + CHEBUTIKIN. And they forgot to say good-bye to me. + </p> + <p> + IRINA. But why is that? + </p> + <p> + CHEBUTIKIN. I just forgot, somehow. Though I’ll soon see them again, I’m + going to-morrow. Yes... just one day left. I shall be retired in a year, + then I’ll come here again, and finish my life near you. I’ve only one + year before I get my pension.... [Puts one newspaper into his pocket and + takes another out] I’ll come here to you and change my life radically... + I’ll be so quiet... so agree... agreeable, respectable.... + </p> + <p> + IRINA. Yes, you ought to change your life, dear man, somehow or other. + </p> + <p> + CHEBUTIKIN. Yes, I feel it. [Sings softly.] “Tarara-boom-deay....” + </p> + <p> + KULIGIN. We won’t reform Ivan Romanovitch! We won’t reform him! + </p> + <p> + CHEBUTIKIN. If only I was apprenticed to you! Then I’d reform. + </p> + <p> + IRINA. Feodor has shaved his moustache! I can’t bear to look at him. + </p> + <p> + KULIGIN. Well, what about it? + </p> + <p> + CHEBUTIKIN. I could tell you what your face looks like now, but it + wouldn’t be polite. + </p> + <p> + KULIGIN. Well! It’s the custom, it’s modus vivendi. Our Director is + clean-shaven, and so I too, when I received my inspectorship, had my + moustaches removed. Nobody likes it, but it’s all one to me. I’m + satisfied. Whether I’ve got moustaches or not, I’m satisfied.... [Sits.] + </p> + <p> + [At the back of the stage ANDREY is wheeling a perambulator containing a + sleeping infant.] + </p> + <p> + IRINA. Ivan Romanovitch, be a darling. I’m awfully worried. You were out + on the boulevard last night; tell me, what happened? + </p> + <p> + CHEBUTIKIN. What happened? Nothing. Quite a trifling matter. [Reads + paper] Of no importance! + </p> + <p> + KULIGIN. They say that Soleni and the Baron met yesterday on the + boulevard near the theatre.... + </p> + <p> + TUZENBACH. Stop! What right... [Waves his hand and goes into the house.] + </p> + <p> + KULIGIN. Near the theatre... Soleni started behaving offensively to the + Baron, who lost his temper and said something nasty.... + </p> + <p> + CHEBUTIKIN. I don’t know. It’s all bunkum. + </p> + <p> + KULIGIN. At some seminary or other a master wrote “bunkum” on an essay, + and the student couldn’t make the letters out—thought it was a + Latin word “luckum.” [Laughs] Awfully funny, that. They say that Soleni + is in love with Irina and hates the Baron.... That’s quite natural. + Irina is a very nice girl. She’s even like Masha, she’s so + thoughtful.... Only, Irina your character is gentler. Though Masha’s + character, too, is a very good one. I’m very fond of Masha. [Shouts of + “Yo-ho!” are heard behind the stage.] + </p> + <p> + IRINA. [Shudders] Everything seems to frighten me today. [Pause] I’ve + got everything ready, and I send my things off after dinner. The Baron + and I will be married to-morrow, and to-morrow we go away to the + brickworks, and the next day I go to the school, and the new life + begins. God will help me! When I took my examination for the teacher’s + post, I actually wept for joy and gratitude.... [Pause] The cart will be + here in a minute for my things.... + </p> + <p> + KULIGIN. Somehow or other, all this doesn’t seem at all serious. As if + it was all ideas, and nothing really serious. Still, with all my soul I + wish you happiness. + </p> + <p> + CHEBUTIKIN. [With deep feeling] My splendid... my dear, precious + girl.... You’ve gone on far ahead, I won’t catch up with you. I’m left + behind like a migrant bird grown old, and unable to fly. Fly, my dear, + fly, and God be with you! [Pause] It’s a pity you shaved your + moustaches, Feodor Ilitch. + </p> + <p> + KULIGIN. Oh, drop it! [Sighs] To-day the soldiers will be gone, and + everything will go on as in the old days. Say what you will, Masha is a + good, honest woman. I love her very much, and thank my fate for her. + People have such different fates. There’s a Kosirev who works in the + excise department here. He was at school with me; he was expelled from + the fifth class of the High School for being entirely unable to + understand <i>ut consecutivum</i>. He’s awfully hard up now and in very + poor health, and when I meet him I say to him, “How do you do, <i>ut + consecutivum</i>.” “Yes,” he says, “precisely <i>consecutivum</i>...” + and coughs. But I’ve been successful all my life, I’m happy, and I even + have a Stanislaus Cross, of the second class, and now I myself teach + others that <i>ut consecutivum</i>. Of course, I’m a clever man, much + cleverer than many, but happiness doesn’t only lie in that.... + </p> + <p> + [“The Maiden’s Prayer” is being played on the piano in the house.] + </p> + <p> + IRINA. To-morrow night I shan’t hear that “Maiden’s Prayer” any more, + and I shan’t be meeting Protopopov.... [Pause] Protopopov is sitting + there in the drawing-room; and he came to-day... + </p> + <p> + KULIGIN. Hasn’t the head-mistress come yet? + </p> + <p> + IRINA. No. She has been sent for. If you only knew how difficult it is + for me to live alone, without Olga.... She lives at the High School; + she, a head-mistress, busy all day with her affairs and I’m alone, + bored, with nothing to do, and hate the room I live in.... I’ve made up + my mind: if I can’t live in Moscow, then it must come to this. It’s + fate. It can’t be helped. It’s all the will of God, that’s the truth. + Nicolai Lvovitch made me a proposal.... Well? I thought it over and made + up my mind. He’s a good man... it’s quite remarkable how good he is.... + And suddenly my soul put out wings, I became happy, and light-hearted, + and once again the desire for work, work, came over me.... Only + something happened yesterday, some secret dread has been hanging over + me.... + </p> + <p> + CHEBUTIKIN. Luckum. Rubbish. + </p> + <p> + NATASHA. [At the window] The head-mistress. + </p> + <p> + KULIGIN. The head-mistress has come. Let’s go. [Exit with IRINA into the + house.] + </p> + <p> + CHEBUTIKIN. “It is my washing day.... Tara-ra... boom-deay.” + </p> + <p> + [MASHA approaches, ANDREY is wheeling a perambulator at the back.] + </p> + <p> + MASHA. Here you are, sitting here, doing nothing. + </p> + <p> + CHEBUTIKIN. What then? + </p> + <p> + MASHA. [Sits] Nothing.... [Pause] Did you love my mother? + </p> + <p> + CHEBUTIKIN. Very much. + </p> + <p> + MASHA. And did she love you? + </p> + <p> + CHEBUTIKIN. [After a pause] I don’t remember that. + </p> + <p> + MASHA. Is my man here? When our cook Martha used to ask about her + gendarme, she used to say my man. Is he here? + </p> + <p> + CHEBUTIKIN. Not yet. + </p> + <p> + MASHA. When you take your happiness in little bits, in snatches, and + then lose it, as I have done, you gradually get coarser, more bitter. + [Points to her bosom] I’m boiling in here.... [Looks at ANDREY with the + perambulator] There’s our brother Andrey.... All our hopes in him have + gone. There was once a great bell, a thousand persons were hoisting it, + much money and labour had been spent on it, when it suddenly fell and + was broken. Suddenly, for no particular reason.... Andrey is like + that.... + </p> + <p> + ANDREY. When are they going to stop making such a noise in the house? + It’s awful. + </p> + <p> + CHEBUTIKIN. They won’t be much longer. [Looks at his watch] My watch is + very old-fashioned, it strikes the hours.... [Winds the watch and makes + it strike] The first, second, and fifth batteries are to leave at one + o’clock precisely. [Pause] And I go to-morrow. + </p> + <p> + ANDREY. For good? + </p> + <p> + CHEBUTIKIN. I don’t know. Perhaps I’ll return in a year. The devil only + knows... it’s all one.... [Somewhere a harp and violin are being + played.] + </p> + <p> + ANDREY. The town will grow empty. It will be as if they put a cover over + it. [Pause] Something happened yesterday by the theatre. The whole town + knows of it, but I don’t. + </p> + <p> + CHEBUTIKIN. Nothing. A silly little affair. Soleni started irritating + the Baron, who lost his temper and insulted him, and so at last Soleni + had to challenge him. [Looks at his watch] It’s about time, I think.... + At half-past twelve, in the public wood, that one you can see from here + across the river.... Piff-paff. [Laughs] Soleni thinks he’s Lermontov, + and even writes verses. That’s all very well, but this is his third + duel. + </p> + <p> + MASHA. Whose? + </p> + <p> + CHEBUTIKIN. Soleni’s. + </p> + <p> + MASHA. And the Baron? + </p> + <p> + CHEBUTIKIN. What about the Baron? [Pause.] + </p> + <p> + MASHA. Everything’s all muddled up in my head.... But I say it ought not + to be allowed. He might wound the Baron or even kill him. + </p> + <p> + CHEBUTIKIN. The Baron is a good man, but one Baron more or less—what + difference does it make? It’s all the same! [Beyond the garden somebody + shouts “Co-ee! Hallo! “] You wait. That’s Skvortsov shouting; one of the + seconds. He’s in a boat. [Pause.] + </p> + <p> + ANDREY. In my opinion it’s simply immoral to fight in a duel, or to be + present, even in the quality of a doctor. + </p> + <p> + CHEBUTIKIN. It only seems so.... We don’t exist, there’s nothing on + earth, we don’t really live, it only seems that we live. Does it matter, + anyway! + </p> + <p> + MASHA. You talk and talk the whole day long. [Going] You live in a + climate like this, where it might snow any moment, and there you + talk.... [Stops] I won’t go into the house, I can’t go there.... Tell me + when Vershinin comes.... [Goes along the avenue] The migrant birds are + already on the wing.... [Looks up] Swans or geese.... My dear, happy + things.... [Exit.] + </p> + <p> + ANDREY. Our house will be empty. The officers will go away, you are + going, my sister is getting married, and I alone will remain in the + house. + </p> + <p> + CHEBUTIKIN. And your wife? + </p> + <p> + [FERAPONT enters with some documents.] + </p> + <p> + ANDREY. A wife’s a wife. She’s honest, well-bred, yes; and kind, but + with all that there is still something about her that degenerates her + into a petty, blind, even in some respects misshapen animal. In any + case, she isn’t a man. I tell you as a friend, as the only man to whom I + can lay bare my soul. I love Natasha, it’s true, but sometimes she seems + extraordinarily vulgar, and then I lose myself and can’t understand why + I love her so much, or, at any rate, used to love her.... + </p> + <p> + CHEBUTIKIN. [Rises] I’m going away to-morrow, old chap, and perhaps + we’ll never meet again, so here’s my advice. Put on your cap, take a + stick in your hand, go... go on and on, without looking round. And the + farther you go, the better. + </p> + <p> + [SOLENI goes across the back of the stage with two officers; he catches + sight of CHEBUTIKIN, and turns to him, the officers go on.] + </p> + <p> + SOLENI. Doctor, it’s time. It’s half-past twelve already. [Shakes hands + with ANDREY.] + </p> + <p> + CHEBUTIKIN. Half a minute. I’m tired of the lot of you. [To ANDREY] If + anybody asks for me, say I’ll be back soon.... [Sighs] Oh, oh, oh! + </p> + <p> + SOLENI. “He didn’t have the time to sigh. The bear sat on him heavily.” + [Goes up to him] What are you groaning about, old man? + </p> + <p> + CHEBUTIKIN. Stop it! + </p> + <p> + SOLENI. How’s your health? + </p> + <p> + CHEBUTIKIN. [Angry] Mind your own business. + </p> + <p> + SOLENI. The old man is unnecessarily excited. I won’t go far, I’ll only + just bring him down like a snipe. [Takes out his scent-bottle and scents + his hands] I’ve poured out a whole bottle of scent to-day and they still + smell... of a dead body. [Pause] Yes.... You remember the poem + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + “But he, the rebel seeks the storm, + As if the storm will bring him rest...”? +</pre> + <p> + CHEBUTIKIN. Yes. + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + “He didn’t have the time to sigh, + The bear sat on him heavily.” + </pre> + <p> + [Exit with SOLENI.] + </p> + <p> + [Shouts are heard. ANDREY and FERAPONT come in.] + </p> + <p> + FERAPONT. Documents to sign.... + </p> + <p> + ANDREY. [Irritated]. Go away! Leave me! Please! [Goes away with the + perambulator.] + </p> + <p> + FERAPONT. That’s what documents are for, to be signed. [Retires to back + of stage.] + </p> + <p> + [Enter IRINA, with TUZENBACH in a straw hat; KULIGIN walks across the + stage, shouting “Co-ee, Masha, co-ee!”] + </p> + <p> + TUZENBACH. He seems to be the only man in the town who is glad that the + soldiers are going. + </p> + <p> + IRINA. One can understand that. [Pause] The town will be empty. + </p> + <p> + TUZENBACH. My dear, I shall return soon. + </p> + <p> + IRINA. Where are you going? + </p> + <p> + TUZENBACH. I must go into the town and then... see the others off. + </p> + <p> + IRINA. It’s not true... Nicolai, why are you so absentminded to-day? + [Pause] What took place by the theatre yesterday? + </p> + <p> + TUZENBACH. [Making a movement of impatience] In an hour’s time I shall + return and be with you again. [Kisses her hands] My darling... [Looking + her closely in the face] it’s five years now since I fell in love with + you, and still I can’t get used to it, and you seem to me to grow more + and more beautiful. What lovely, wonderful hair! What eyes! I’m going to + take you away to-morrow. We shall work, we shall be rich, my dreams will + come true. You will be happy. There’s only one thing, one thing only: + you don’t love me! + </p> + <p> + IRINA. It isn’t in my power! I shall be your wife, I shall be true to + you, and obedient to you, but I can’t love you. What can I do! [Cries] I + have never been in love in my life. Oh, I used to think so much of love, + I have been thinking about it for so long by day and by night, but my + soul is like an expensive piano which is locked and the key lost. + [Pause] You seem so unhappy. + </p> + <p> + TUZENBACH. I didn’t sleep at night. There is nothing in my life so awful + as to be able to frighten me, only that lost key torments my soul and + does not let me sleep. Say something to me [Pause] say something to + me.... + </p> + <p> + IRINA. What can I say, what? + </p> + <p> + TUZENBACH. Anything. + </p> + <p> + IRINA. Don’t! don’t! [Pause.] + </p> + <p> + TUZENBACH. It is curious how silly trivial little things, sometimes for + no apparent reason, become significant. At first you laugh at these + things, you think they are of no importance, you go on and you feel that + you haven’t got the strength to stop yourself. Oh don’t let’s talk about + it! I am happy. It is as if for the first time in my life I see these + firs, maples, beeches, and they all look at me inquisitively and wait. + What beautiful trees and how beautiful, when one comes to think of it, + life must be near them! [A shout of Co-ee! in the distance] It’s time I + went.... There’s a tree which has dried up but it still sways in the + breeze with the others. And so it seems to me that if I die, I shall + still take part in life in one way or another. Good-bye, dear.... + [Kisses her hands] The papers which you gave me are on my table under + the calendar. + </p> + <p> + IRINA. I am coming with you. + </p> + <p> + TUZENBACH. [Nervously] No, no! [He goes quickly and stops in the avenue] + Irina! + </p> + <p> + IRINA. What is it? + </p> + <p> + TUZENBACH. [Not knowing what to say] I haven’t had any coffee to-day. + Tell them to make me some.... [He goes out quickly.] + </p> + <p> + [IRINA stands deep in thought. Then she goes to the back of the stage + and sits on a swing. ANDREY comes in with the perambulator and FERAPONT + also appears.] + </p> + <p> + FERAPONT. Andrey Sergeyevitch, it isn’t as if the documents were mine, + they are the government’s. I didn’t make them. + </p> + <p> + ANDREY. Oh, what has become of my past and where is it? I used to be + young, happy, clever, I used to be able to think and frame clever ideas, + the present and the future seemed to me full of hope. Why do we, almost + before we have begun to live, become dull, grey, uninteresting, lazy, + apathetic, useless, unhappy.... This town has already been in existence + for two hundred years and it has a hundred thousand inhabitants, not one + of whom is in any way different from the others. There has never been, + now or at any other time, a single leader of men, a single scholar, an + artist, a man of even the slightest eminence who might arouse envy or a + passionate desire to be imitated. They only eat, drink, sleep, and then + they die... more people are born and also eat, drink, sleep, and so as + not to go silly from boredom, they try to make life many-sided with + their beastly backbiting, vodka, cards, and litigation. The wives + deceive their husbands, and the husbands lie, and pretend they see + nothing and hear nothing, and the evil influence irresistibly oppresses + the children and the divine spark in them is extinguished, and they + become just as pitiful corpses and just as much like one another as + their fathers and mothers.... [Angrily to FERAPONT] What do you want? + </p> + <p> + FERAPONT. What? Documents want signing. + </p> + <p> + ANDREY. I’m tired of you. + </p> + <p> + FERAPONT. [Handing him papers] The hall-porter from the law courts was + saying just now that in the winter there were two hundred degrees of + frost in Petersburg. + </p> + <p> + ANDREY. The present is beastly, but when I think of the future, how good + it is! I feel so light, so free; there is a light in the distance, I see + freedom. I see myself and my children freeing ourselves from vanities, + from kvass, from goose baked with cabbage, from after-dinner naps, from + base idleness.... + </p> + <p> + FERAPONT. He was saying that two thousand people were frozen to death. + The people were frightened, he said. In Petersburg or Moscow, I don’t + remember which. + </p> + <p> + ANDREY. [Overcome by a tender emotion] My dear sisters, my beautiful + sisters! [Crying] Masha, my sister.... + </p> + <p> + NATASHA. [At the window] Who’s talking so loudly out here? Is that you, + Andrey? You’ll wake little Sophie. <i>Il ne faut pas faire du bruit, la + Sophie est dormée deja. Vous êtes un ours.</i> [Angrily] If you want to + talk, then give the perambulator and the baby to somebody else. + Ferapont, take the perambulator! + </p> + <p> + FERAPONT. Yes’m. [Takes the perambulator.] + </p> + <p> + ANDREY. [Confused] I’m speaking quietly. + </p> + <p> + NATASHA. [At the window, nursing her boy] Bobby! Naughty Bobby! Bad + little Bobby! + </p> + <p> + ANDREY. [Looking through the papers] All right, I’ll look them over and + sign if necessary, and you can take them back to the offices.... + </p> + <p> + [Goes into house reading papers; FERAPONT takes the perambulator to the + back of the garden.] + </p> + <p> + NATASHA. [At the window] Bobby, what’s your mother’s name? Dear, dear! + And who’s this? That’s Aunt Olga. Say to your aunt, “How do you do, + Olga!” + </p> + <p> + [Two wandering musicians, a man and a girl, are playing on a violin and + a harp. VERSHININ, OLGA, and ANFISA come out of the house and listen for + a minute in silence; IRINA comes up to them.] + </p> + <p> + OLGA. Our garden might be a public thoroughfare, from the way people + walk and ride across it. Nurse, give those musicians something! + </p> + <p> + ANFISA. [Gives money to the musicians] Go away with God’s blessing on + you. [The musicians bow and go away] A bitter sort of people. You don’t + play on a full stomach. [To IRINA] How do you do, Arisha! [Kisses her] + Well, little girl, here I am, still alive! Still alive! In the High + School, together with little Olga, in her official apartments... so the + Lord has appointed for my old age. Sinful woman that I am, I’ve never + lived like that in my life before.... A large flat, government property, + and I’ve a whole room and bed to myself. All government property. I wake + up at nights and, oh God, and Holy Mother, there isn’t a happier person + than I! + </p> + <p> + VERSHININ. [Looks at his watch] We are going soon, Olga Sergeyevna. It’s + time for me to go. [Pause] I wish you every... every.... Where’s Maria + Sergeyevna? + </p> + <p> + IRINA. She’s somewhere in the garden. I’ll go and look for her. + </p> + <p> + VERSHININ. If you’ll be so kind. I haven’t time. + </p> + <p> + ANFISA. I’ll go and look, too. [Shouts] Little Masha, co-ee! [Goes out + with IRINA down into the garden] Co-ee, co-ee! + </p> + <p> + VERSHININ. Everything comes to an end. And so we, too, must part. [Looks + at his watch] The town gave us a sort of farewell breakfast, we had + champagne to drink and the mayor made a speech, and I ate and listened, + but my soul was here all the time.... [Looks round the garden] I’m so + used to you now. + </p> + <p> + OLGA. Shall we ever meet again? + </p> + <p> + VERSHININ. Probably not. [Pause] My wife and both my daughters will stay + here another two months. If anything happens, or if anything has to be + done... + </p> + <p> + OLGA. Yes, yes, of course. You need not worry. [Pause] To-morrow there + won’t be a single soldier left in the town, it will all be a memory, + and, of course, for us a new life will begin.... [Pause] None of our + plans are coming right. I didn’t want to be a head-mistress, but they + made me one, all the same. It means there’s no chance of Moscow.... + </p> + <p> + VERSHININ. Well... thank you for everything. Forgive me if I’ve... I’ve + said such an awful lot—forgive me for that too, don’t think badly + of me. + </p> + <p> + OLGA. [Wipes her eyes] Why isn’t Masha coming... + </p> + <p> + VERSHININ. What else can I say in parting? Can I philosophize about + anything? [Laughs] Life is heavy. To many of us it seems dull and + hopeless, but still, it must be acknowledged that it is getting lighter + and clearer, and it seems that the time is not far off when it will be + quite clear. [Looks at his watch] It’s time I went! Mankind used to be + absorbed in wars, and all its existence was filled with campaigns, + attacks, defeats, now we’ve outlived all that, leaving after us a great + waste place, which there is nothing to fill with at present; but mankind + is looking for something, and will certainly find it. Oh, if it only + happened more quickly. [Pause] If only education could be added to + industry, and industry to education. [Looks at his watch] It’s time I + went.... + </p> + <p> + OLGA. Here she comes. + </p> + <p> + [Enter MASHA.] + </p> + <p> + VERSHININ. I came to say good-bye.... + </p> + <p> + [OLGA steps aside a little, so as not to be in their way.] + </p> + <p> + MASHA. [Looking him in the face] Good-bye. [Prolonged kiss.] + </p> + <p> + OLGA. Don’t, don’t. [MASHA is crying bitterly] + </p> + <p> + VERSHININ. Write to me.... Don’t forget! Let me go.... It’s time. Take + her, Olga Sergeyevna... it’s time... I’m late... + </p> + <p> + [He kisses OLGA’S hand in evident emotion, then embraces MASHA once more + and goes out quickly.] + </p> + <p> + OLGA. Don’t, Masha! Stop, dear.... [KULIGIN enters.] + </p> + <p> + KULIGIN. [Confused] Never mind, let her cry, let her.... My dear Masha, + my good Masha.... You’re my wife, and I’m happy, whatever happens... I’m + not complaining, I don’t reproach you at all.... Olga is a witness to + it. Let’s begin to live again as we used to, and not by a single word, + or hint... + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> +MASHA. [Restraining her sobs] “There stands a green oak by the sea, + And a chain of bright gold is around it.... + And a chain of bright gold is around it....” + </pre> + <p> + I’m going off my head... “There stands... a green oak... by the sea.”... + </p> + <p> + OLGA. Don’t, Masha, don’t... give her some water.... + </p> + <p> + MASHA. I’m not crying any more.... + </p> + <p> + KULIGIN. She’s not crying any more... she’s a good... [A shot is heard + from a distance.] + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> +MASHA. “There stands a green oak by the sea, + And a chain of bright gold is around it... + An oak of green gold....” + </pre> + <p> + I’m mixing it up.... [Drinks some water] Life is dull... I don’t want + anything more now... I’ll be all right in a moment.... It doesn’t + matter.... What do those lines mean? Why do they run in my head? My + thoughts are all tangled. + </p> + <p> + [IRINA enters.] + </p> + <p> + OLGA. Be quiet, Masha. There’s a good girl.... Let’s go in. + </p> + <p> + MASHA. [Angrily] I shan’t go in there. [Sobs, but controls herself at + once] I’m not going to go into the house, I won’t go.... + </p> + <p> + IRINA. Let’s sit here together and say nothing. I’m going away + to-morrow.... [Pause.] + </p> + <p> + KULIGIN. Yesterday I took away these whiskers and this beard from a boy + in the third class.... [He puts on the whiskers and beard] Don’t I look + like the German master.... [Laughs] Don’t I? The boys are amusing. + </p> + <p> + MASHA. You really do look like that German of yours. + </p> + <p> + OLGA. [Laughs] Yes. [MASHA weeps.] + </p> + <p> + IRINA. Don’t, Masha! + </p> + <p> + KULIGIN. It’s a very good likeness.... + </p> + <p> + [Enter NATASHA.] + </p> + <p> + NATASHA. [To the maid] What? Mihail Ivanitch Protopopov will sit with + little Sophie, and Andrey Sergeyevitch can take little Bobby out. + Children are such a bother.... [To IRINA] Irina, it’s such a pity you’re + going away to-morrow. Do stop just another week. [Sees KULIGIN and + screams; he laughs and takes off his beard and whiskers] How you + frightened me! [To IRINA] I’ve grown used to you and do you think it + will be easy for me to part from you? I’m going to have Andrey and his + violin put into your room—let him fiddle away in there!—and + we’ll put little Sophie into his room. The beautiful, lovely child! What + a little girlie! To-day she looked at me with such pretty eyes and said + “Mamma!” + </p> + <p> + KULIGIN. A beautiful child, it’s quite true. + </p> + <p> + NATASHA. That means I shall have the place to myself to-morrow. [Sighs] + In the first place I shall have that avenue of fir-trees cut down, then + that maple. It’s so ugly at nights.... [To IRINA] That belt doesn’t suit + you at all, dear.... It’s an error of taste. And I’ll give orders to + have lots and lots of little flowers planted here, and they’ll smell.... + [Severely] Why is there a fork lying about here on the seat? [Going + towards the house, to the maid] Why is there a fork lying about here on + the seat, I say? [Shouts] Don’t you dare to answer me! + </p> + <p> + KULIGIN. Temper! temper! [A march is played off; they all listen.] + </p> + <p> + OLGA. They’re going. + </p> + <p> + [CHEBUTIKIN comes in.] + </p> + <p> + MASHA. They’re going. Well, well.... Bon voyage! [To her husband] We + must be going home.... Where’s my coat and hat? + </p> + <p> + KULIGIN. I took them in... I’ll bring them, in a moment. + </p> + <p> + OLGA. Yes, now we can all go home. It’s time. + </p> + <p> + CHEBUTIKIN. Olga Sergeyevna! + </p> + <p> + OLGA. What is it? [Pause] What is it? + </p> + <p> + CHEBUTIKIN. Nothing... I don’t know how to tell you.... [Whispers to + her.] + </p> + <p> + OLGA. [Frightened] It can’t be true! + </p> + <p> + CHEBUTIKIN. Yes... such a story... I’m tired out, exhausted, I won’t say + any more.... [Sadly] Still, it’s all the same! + </p> + <p> + MASHA. What’s happened? + </p> + <p> + OLGA. [Embraces IRINA] This is a terrible day... I don’t know how to + tell you, dear.... + </p> + <p> + IRINA. What is it? Tell me quickly, what is it? For God’s sake! [Cries.] + </p> + <p> + CHEBUTIKIN. The Baron was killed in the duel just now. + </p> + <p> + IRINA. [Cries softly] I knew it, I knew it.... + </p> + <p> + CHEBUTIKIN. [Sits on a bench at the back of the stage] I’m tired.... + [Takes a paper from his pocket] Let ‘em cry.... [Sings softly] + “Tarara-boom-deay, it is my washing day....” Isn’t it all the same! + </p> + <p> + [The three sisters are standing, pressing against one another.] + </p> + <p> + MASHA. Oh, how the music plays! They are leaving us, one has quite left + us, quite and for ever. We remain alone, to begin our life over again. + We must live... we must live.... + </p> + <p> + IRINA. [Puts her head on OLGA’s bosom] There will come a time when + everybody will know why, for what purpose, there is all this suffering, + and there will be no more mysteries. But now we must live... we must + work, just work! To-morrow, I’ll go away alone, and I’ll teach and give + my whole life to those who, perhaps, need it. It’s autumn now, soon it + will be winter, the snow will cover everything, and I shall be working, + working.... + </p> + <p> + OLGA. [Embraces both her sisters] The bands are playing so gaily, so + bravely, and one does so want to live! Oh, my God! Time will pass on, + and we shall depart for ever, we shall be forgotten; they will forget + our faces, voices, and even how many there were of us, but our + sufferings will turn into joy for those who will live after us, + happiness and peace will reign on earth, and people will remember with + kindly words, and bless those who are living now. Oh dear sisters, our + life is not yet at an end. Let us live. The music is so gay, so joyful, + and, it seems that in a little while we shall know why we are living, + why we are suffering.... If we could only know, if we could only know! + </p> + <p> + [The music has been growing softer and softer; KULIGIN, smiling happily, + brings out the hat and coat; ANDREY wheels out the perambulator in which + BOBBY is sitting.] + </p> + <p> + CHEBUTIKIN. [Sings softly] “Tara... ra-boom-deay.... It is my + washing-day.”... [Reads a paper] It’s all the same! It’s all the same! + </p> + <p> + OLGA. If only we could know, if only we could know! + </p> + <p> + Curtain. + </p> + <a name="link2H_4_0013" id="link2H_4_0013"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + THE CHERRY ORCHARD + </h2> + <h3> + A COMEDY IN FOUR ACTS + </h3> + CHARACTERS +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + LUBOV ANDREYEVNA RANEVSKY (Mme. RANEVSKY), a landowner + ANYA, her daughter, aged seventeen + VARYA (BARBARA), her adopted daughter, aged twenty-seven + LEONID ANDREYEVITCH GAEV, Mme. Ranevsky’s brother + ERMOLAI ALEXEYEVITCH LOPAKHIN, a merchant + PETER SERGEYEVITCH TROFIMOV, a student + BORIS BORISOVITCH SIMEONOV-PISCHIN, a landowner + CHARLOTTA IVANOVNA, a governess + SIMEON PANTELEYEVITCH EPIKHODOV, a clerk + DUNYASHA (AVDOTYA FEDOROVNA), a maidservant + FIERS, an old footman, aged eighty-seven + YASHA, a young footman + A TRAMP + A STATION-MASTER + POST-OFFICE CLERK + GUESTS + A SERVANT +</pre> + <p> + The action takes place on Mme. RANEVSKY’S estate + </p> + <a name="link2H_4_0014" id="link2H_4_0014"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + ACT ONE + </h2> + <p> + [A room which is still called the nursery. One of the doors leads into + ANYA’S room. It is close on sunrise. It is May. The cherry-trees are in + flower but it is chilly in the garden. There is an early frost. The + windows of the room are shut. DUNYASHA comes in with a candle, and + LOPAKHIN with a book in his hand.] + </p> + <p> + LOPAKHIN. The train’s arrived, thank God. What’s the time? + </p> + <p> + DUNYASHA. It will soon be two. [Blows out candle] It is light already. + </p> + <p> + LOPAKHIN. How much was the train late? Two hours at least. [Yawns and + stretches himself] I have made a rotten mess of it! I came here on + purpose to meet them at the station, and then overslept myself... in my + chair. It’s a pity. I wish you’d wakened me. + </p> + <p> + DUNYASHA. I thought you’d gone away. [Listening] I think I hear them + coming. + </p> + <p> + LOPAKHIN. [Listens] No.... They’ve got to collect their luggage and so + on.... [Pause] Lubov Andreyevna has been living abroad for five years; I + don’t know what she’ll be like now.... She’s a good sort—an easy, + simple person. I remember when I was a boy of fifteen, my father, who is + dead—he used to keep a shop in the village here—hit me on + the face with his fist, and my nose bled.... We had gone into the yard + together for something or other, and he was a little drunk. Lubov + Andreyevna, as I remember her now, was still young, and very thin, and + she took me to the washstand here in this very room, the nursery. She + said, “Don’t cry, little man, it’ll be all right in time for your + wedding.” [Pause] “Little man”.... My father was a peasant, it’s true, + but here I am in a white waistcoat and yellow shoes... a pearl out of an + oyster. I’m rich now, with lots of money, but just think about it and + examine me, and you’ll find I’m still a peasant down to the marrow of my + bones. [Turns over the pages of his book] Here I’ve been reading this + book, but I understood nothing. I read and fell asleep. [Pause.] + </p> + <p> + DUNYASHA. The dogs didn’t sleep all night; they know that they’re + coming. + </p> + <p> + LOPAKHIN. What’s up with you, Dunyasha...? + </p> + <p> + DUNYASHA. My hands are shaking. I shall faint. + </p> + <p> + LOPAKHIN. You’re too sensitive, Dunyasha. You dress just like a lady, + and you do your hair like one too. You oughtn’t. You should know your + place. + </p> + <p> + EPIKHODOV. [Enters with a bouquet. He wears a short jacket and + brilliantly polished boots which squeak audibly. He drops the bouquet as + he enters, then picks it up] The gardener sent these; says they’re to go + into the dining-room. [Gives the bouquet to DUNYASHA.] + </p> + <p> + LOPAKHIN. And you’ll bring me some kvass. + </p> + <p> + DUNYASHA. Very well. [Exit.] + </p> + <p> + EPIKHODOV. There’s a frost this morning—three degrees, and the + cherry-trees are all in flower. I can’t approve of our climate. [Sighs] + I can’t. Our climate is indisposed to favour us even this once. And, + Ermolai Alexeyevitch, allow me to say to you, in addition, that I bought + myself some boots two days ago, and I beg to assure you that they squeak + in a perfectly unbearable manner. What shall I put on them? + </p> + <p> + LOPAKHIN. Go away. You bore me. + </p> + <p> + EPIKHODOV. Some misfortune happens to me every day. But I don’t + complain; I’m used to it, and I can smile. [DUNYASHA comes in and brings + LOPAKHIN some kvass] I shall go. [Knocks over a chair] There.... + [Triumphantly] There, you see, if I may use the word, what circumstances + I am in, so to speak. It is even simply marvellous. [Exit.] + </p> + <p> + DUNYASHA. I may confess to you, Ermolai Alexeyevitch, that Epikhodov has + proposed to me. + </p> + <p> + LOPAKHIN. Ah! + </p> + <p> + DUNYASHA. I don’t know what to do about it. He’s a nice young man, but + every now and again, when he begins talking, you can’t understand a word + he’s saying. I think I like him. He’s madly in love with me. He’s an + unlucky man; every day something happens. We tease him about it. They + call him “Two-and-twenty troubles.” + </p> + <p> + LOPAKHIN. [Listens] There they come, I think. + </p> + <p> + DUNYASHA. They’re coming! What’s the matter with me? I’m cold all over. + </p> + <p> + LOPAKHIN. There they are, right enough. Let’s go and meet them. Will she + know me? We haven’t seen each other for five years. + </p> + <p> + DUNYASHA. [Excited] I shall faint in a minute.... Oh, I’m fainting! + </p> + <p> + [Two carriages are heard driving up to the house. LOPAKHIN and DUNYASHA + quickly go out. The stage is empty. A noise begins in the next room. + FIERS, leaning on a stick, walks quickly across the stage; he has just + been to meet LUBOV ANDREYEVNA. He wears an old-fashioned livery and a + tall hat. He is saying something to himself, but not a word of it can be + made out. The noise behind the stage gets louder and louder. A voice is + heard: “Let’s go in there.” Enter LUBOV ANDREYEVNA, ANYA, and CHARLOTTA + IVANOVNA with a little dog on a chain, and all dressed in travelling + clothes, VARYA in a long coat and with a kerchief on her head. GAEV, + SIMEONOV-PISCHIN, LOPAKHIN, DUNYASHA with a parcel and an umbrella, and + a servant with luggage—all cross the room.] + </p> + <p> + ANYA. Let’s come through here. Do you remember what this room is, + mother? + </p> + <p> + LUBOV. [Joyfully, through her tears] The nursery! + </p> + <p> + VARYA. How cold it is! My hands are quite numb. [To LUBOV ANDREYEVNA] + Your rooms, the white one and the violet one, are just as they used to + be, mother. + </p> + <p> + LUBOV. My dear nursery, oh, you beautiful room.... I used to sleep here + when I was a baby. [Weeps] And here I am like a little girl again. + [Kisses her brother, VARYA, then her brother again] And Varya is just as + she used to be, just like a nun. And I knew Dunyasha. [Kisses her.] + </p> + <p> + GAEV. The train was two hours late. There now; how’s that for + punctuality? + </p> + <p> + CHARLOTTA. [To PISCHIN] My dog eats nuts too. + </p> + <p> + PISCHIN. [Astonished] To think of that, now! + </p> + <p> + [All go out except ANYA and DUNYASHA.] + </p> + <p> + DUNYASHA. We did have to wait for you! + </p> + <p> + [Takes off ANYA’S cloak and hat.] + </p> + <p> + ANYA. I didn’t get any sleep for four nights on the journey.... I’m + awfully cold. + </p> + <p> + DUNYASHA. You went away during Lent, when it was snowing and frosty, but + now? Darling! [Laughs and kisses her] We did have to wait for you, my + joy, my pet.... I must tell you at once, I can’t bear to wait a minute. + </p> + <p> + ANYA. [Tired] Something else now...? + </p> + <p> + DUNYASHA. The clerk, Epikhodov, proposed to me after Easter. + </p> + <p> + ANYA. Always the same.... [Puts her hair straight] I’ve lost all my + hairpins.... [She is very tired, and even staggers as she walks.] + </p> + <p> + DUNYASHA. I don’t know what to think about it. He loves me, he loves me + so much! + </p> + <p> + ANYA. [Looks into her room; in a gentle voice] My room, my windows, as + if I’d never gone away. I’m at home! To-morrow morning I’ll get up and + have a run in the garden....Oh, if I could only get to sleep! I didn’t + sleep the whole journey, I was so bothered. + </p> + <p> + DUNYASHA. Peter Sergeyevitch came two days ago. + </p> + <p> + ANYA. [Joyfully] Peter! + </p> + <p> + DUNYASHA. He sleeps in the bath-house, he lives there. He said he was + afraid he’d be in the way. [Looks at her pocket-watch] I ought to wake + him, but Barbara Mihailovna told me not to. “Don’t wake him,” she said. + </p> + <p> + [Enter VARYA, a bunch of keys on her belt.] + </p> + <p> + VARYA. Dunyasha, some coffee, quick. Mother wants some. + </p> + <p> + DUNYASHA. This minute. [Exit.] + </p> + <p> + VARYA. Well, you’ve come, glory be to God. Home again. [Caressing her] + My darling is back again! My pretty one is back again! + </p> + <p> + ANYA. I did have an awful time, I tell you. + </p> + <p> + VARYA. I can just imagine it! + </p> + <p> + ANYA. I went away in Holy Week; it was very cold then. Charlotta talked + the whole way and would go on performing her tricks. Why did you tie + Charlotta on to me? + </p> + <p> + VARYA. You couldn’t go alone, darling, at seventeen! + </p> + <p> + ANYA. We went to Paris; it’s cold there and snowing. I talk French + perfectly horribly. My mother lives on the fifth floor. I go to her, and + find her there with various Frenchmen, women, an old abbé with a book, + and everything in tobacco smoke and with no comfort at all. I suddenly + became very sorry for mother—so sorry that I took her head in my + arms and hugged her and wouldn’t let her go. Then mother started hugging + me and crying.... + </p> + <p> + VARYA. [Weeping] Don’t say any more, don’t say any more.... + </p> + <p> + ANYA. She’s already sold her villa near Mentone; she’s nothing left, + nothing. And I haven’t a copeck left either; we only just managed to get + here. And mother won’t understand! We had dinner at a station; she asked + for all the expensive things, and tipped the waiters one rouble each. + And Charlotta too. Yasha wants his share too—it’s too bad. + Mother’s got a footman now, Yasha; we’ve brought him here. + </p> + <p> + VARYA. I saw the wretch. + </p> + <p> + ANYA. How’s business? Has the interest been paid? + </p> + <p> + VARYA. Not much chance of that. + </p> + <p> + ANYA. Oh God, oh God... + </p> + <p> + VARYA. The place will be sold in August. + </p> + <p> + ANYA. O God.... + </p> + <p> + LOPAKHIN. [Looks in at the door and moos] Moo!... [Exit.] + </p> + <p> + VARYA. [Through her tears] I’d like to.... [Shakes her fist.] + </p> + <p> + ANYA. [Embraces VARYA, softly] Varya, has he proposed to you? [VARYA + shakes head] But he loves you.... Why don’t you make up your minds? Why + do you keep on waiting? + </p> + <p> + VARYA. I think that it will all come to nothing. He’s a busy man. I’m + not his affair... he pays no attention to me. Bless the man, I don’t + want to see him.... But everybody talks about our marriage, everybody + congratulates me, and there’s nothing in it at all, it’s all like a + dream. [In another tone] You’ve got a brooch like a bee. + </p> + <p> + ANYA. [Sadly] Mother bought it. [Goes into her room, and talks lightly, + like a child] In Paris I went up in a balloon! + </p> + <p> + VARYA. My darling’s come back, my pretty one’s come back! [DUNYASHA has + already returned with the coffee-pot and is making the coffee, VARYA + stands near the door] I go about all day, looking after the house, and I + think all the time, if only you could marry a rich man, then I’d be + happy and would go away somewhere by myself, then to Kiev... to Moscow, + and so on, from one holy place to another. I’d tramp and tramp. That + would be splendid! + </p> + <p> + ANYA. The birds are singing in the garden. What time is it now? + </p> + <p> + VARYA. It must be getting on for three. Time you went to sleep, darling. + [Goes into ANYA’S room] Splendid! + </p> + <p> + [Enter YASHA with a plaid shawl and a travelling bag.] + </p> + <p> + YASHA. [Crossing the stage: Politely] May I go this way? + </p> + <p> + DUNYASHA. I hardly knew you, Yasha. You have changed abroad. + </p> + <p> + YASHA. Hm... and who are you? + </p> + <p> + DUNYASHA. When you went away I was only so high. [Showing with her hand] + I’m Dunyasha, the daughter of Theodore Kozoyedov. You don’t remember! + </p> + <p> + YASHA. Oh, you little cucumber! + </p> + <p> + [Looks round and embraces her. She screams and drops a saucer. YASHA + goes out quickly.] + </p> + <p> + VARYA. [In the doorway: In an angry voice] What’s that? + </p> + <p> + DUNYASHA. [Through her tears] I’ve broken a saucer. + </p> + <p> + VARYA. It may bring luck. + </p> + <p> + ANYA. [Coming out of her room] We must tell mother that Peter’s here. + </p> + <p> + VARYA. I told them not to wake him. + </p> + <p> + ANYA. [Thoughtfully] Father died six years ago, and a month later my + brother Grisha was drowned in the river—such a dear little boy of + seven! Mother couldn’t bear it; she went away, away, without looking + round.... [Shudders] How I understand her; if only she knew! [Pause] And + Peter Trofimov was Grisha’s tutor, he might tell her.... + </p> + <p> + [Enter FIERS in a short jacket and white waistcoat.] + </p> + <p> + FIERS. [Goes to the coffee-pot, nervously] The mistress is going to have + some food here.... [Puts on white gloves] Is the coffee ready? [To + DUNYASHA, severely] You! Where’s the cream? + </p> + <p> + DUNYASHA. Oh, dear me...! [Rapid exit.] + </p> + <p> + FIERS. [Fussing round the coffee-pot] Oh, you bungler.... [Murmurs to + himself] Back from Paris... the master went to Paris once... in a + carriage.... [Laughs.] + </p> + <p> + VARYA. What are you talking about, Fiers? + </p> + <p> + FIERS. I beg your pardon? [Joyfully] The mistress is home again. I’ve + lived to see her! Don’t care if I die now.... [Weeps with joy.] + </p> + <p> + [Enter LUBOV ANDREYEVNA, GAEV, LOPAKHIN, and SIMEONOV-PISCHIN, the + latter in a long jacket of thin cloth and loose trousers. GAEV, coming + in, moves his arms and body about as if he is playing billiards.] + </p> + <p> + LUBOV. Let me remember now. Red into the corner! Twice into the centre! + </p> + <p> + GAEV. Right into the pocket! Once upon a time you and I used both to + sleep in this room, and now I’m fifty-one; it does seem strange. + </p> + <p> + LOPAKHIN. Yes, time does go. + </p> + <p> + GAEV. Who does? + </p> + <p> + LOPAKHIN. I said that time does go. + </p> + <p> + GAEV. It smells of patchouli here. + </p> + <p> + ANYA. I’m going to bed. Good-night, mother. [Kisses her.] + </p> + <p> + LUBOV. My lovely little one. [Kisses her hand] Glad to be at home? I + can’t get over it. + </p> + <p> + ANYA. Good-night, uncle. + </p> + <p> + GAEV. [Kisses her face and hands] God be with you. How you do resemble + your mother! [To his sister] You were just like her at her age, Luba. + </p> + <p> + [ANYA gives her hand to LOPAKHIN and PISCHIN and goes out, shutting the + door behind her.] + </p> + <p> + LUBOV. She’s awfully tired. + </p> + <p> + PISCHIN. It’s a very long journey. + </p> + <p> + VARYA. [To LOPAKHIN and PISCHIN] Well, sirs, it’s getting on for three, + quite time you went. + </p> + <p> + LUBOV. [Laughs] You’re just the same as ever, Varya. [Draws her close + and kisses her] I’ll have some coffee now, then we’ll all go. [FIERS + lays a cushion under her feet] Thank you, dear. I’m used to coffee. I + drink it day and night. Thank you, dear old man. [Kisses FIERS.] + </p> + <p> + VARYA. I’ll go and see if they’ve brought in all the luggage. [Exit.] + </p> + <p> + LUBOV. Is it really I who am sitting here? [Laughs] I want to jump about + and wave my arms. [Covers her face with her hands] But suppose I’m + dreaming! God knows I love my own country, I love it deeply; I couldn’t + look out of the railway carriage, I cried so much. [Through her tears] + Still, I must have my coffee. Thank you, Fiers. Thank you, dear old man. + I’m so glad you’re still with us. + </p> + <p> + FIERS. The day before yesterday. + </p> + <p> + GAEV. He doesn’t hear well. + </p> + <p> + LOPAKHIN. I’ve got to go off to Kharkov by the five o’clock train. I’m + awfully sorry! I should like to have a look at you, to gossip a little. + You’re as fine-looking as ever. + </p> + <p> + PISCHIN. [Breathes heavily] Even finer-looking... dressed in Paris + fashions... confound it all. + </p> + <p> + LOPAKHIN. Your brother, Leonid Andreyevitch, says I’m a snob, a usurer, + but that is absolutely nothing to me. Let him talk. Only I do wish you + would believe in me as you once did, that your wonderful, touching eyes + would look at me as they did before. Merciful God! My father was the + serf of your grandfather and your own father, but you—you more + than anybody else—did so much for me once upon a time that I’ve + forgotten everything and love you as if you belonged to my family... and + even more. + </p> + <p> + LUBOV. I can’t sit still, I’m not in a state to do it. [Jumps up and + walks about in great excitement] I’ll never survive this happiness.... + You can laugh at me; I’m a silly woman.... My dear little cupboard. + [Kisses cupboard] My little table. + </p> + <p> + GAEV. Nurse has died in your absence. + </p> + <p> + LUBOV. [Sits and drinks coffee] Yes, bless her soul. I heard by letter. + </p> + <p> + GAEV. And Anastasius has died too. Peter Kosoy has left me and now lives + in town with the Commissioner of Police. [Takes a box of sugar-candy out + of his pocket and sucks a piece.] + </p> + <p> + PISCHIN. My daughter, Dashenka, sends her love. + </p> + <p> + LOPAKHIN. I want to say something very pleasant, very delightful, to + you. [Looks at his watch] I’m going away at once, I haven’t much time... + but I’ll tell you all about it in two or three words. As you already + know, your cherry orchard is to be sold to pay your debts, and the sale + is fixed for August 22; but you needn’t be alarmed, dear madam, you may + sleep in peace; there’s a way out. Here’s my plan. Please attend + carefully! Your estate is only thirteen miles from the town, the railway + runs by, and if the cherry orchard and the land by the river are broken + up into building lots and are then leased off for villas you’ll get at + least twenty-five thousand roubles a year profit out of it. + </p> + <p> + GAEV. How utterly absurd! + </p> + <p> + LUBOV. I don’t understand you at all, Ermolai Alexeyevitch. + </p> + <p> + LOPAKHIN. You will get twenty-five roubles a year for each dessiatin + from the leaseholders at the very least, and if you advertise now I’m + willing to bet that you won’t have a vacant plot left by the autumn; + they’ll all go. In a word, you’re saved. I congratulate you. Only, of + course, you’ll have to put things straight, and clean up.... For + instance, you’ll have to pull down all the old buildings, this house, + which isn’t any use to anybody now, and cut down the old cherry + orchard.... + </p> + <p> + LUBOV. Cut it down? My dear man, you must excuse me, but you don’t + understand anything at all. If there’s anything interesting or + remarkable in the whole province, it’s this cherry orchard of ours. + </p> + <p> + LOPAKHIN. The only remarkable thing about the orchard is that it’s very + large. It only bears fruit every other year, and even then you don’t + know what to do with them; nobody buys any. + </p> + <p> + GAEV. This orchard is mentioned in the “Encyclopaedic Dictionary.” + </p> + <p> + LOPAKHIN. [Looks at his watch] If we can’t think of anything and don’t + make up our minds to anything, then on August 22, both the cherry + orchard and the whole estate will be up for auction. Make up your mind! + I swear there’s no other way out, I’ll swear it again. + </p> + <p> + FIERS. In the old days, forty or fifty years back, they dried the + cherries, soaked them and pickled them, and made jam of them, and it + used to happen that... + </p> + <p> + GAEV. Be quiet, Fiers. + </p> + <p> + FIERS. And then we’d send the dried cherries off in carts to Moscow and + Kharkov. And money! And the dried cherries were soft, juicy, sweet, and + nicely scented.... They knew the way.... + </p> + <p> + LUBOV. What was the way? + </p> + <p> + FIERS. They’ve forgotten. Nobody remembers. + </p> + <p> + PISCHIN. [To LUBOV ANDREYEVNA] What about Paris? Eh? Did you eat frogs? + </p> + <p> + LUBOV. I ate crocodiles. + </p> + <p> + PISCHIN. To think of that, now. + </p> + <p> + LOPAKHIN. Up to now in the villages there were only the gentry and the + labourers, and now the people who live in villas have arrived. All towns + now, even small ones, are surrounded by villas. And it’s safe to say + that in twenty years’ time the villa resident will be all over the + place. At present he sits on his balcony and drinks tea, but it may well + come to pass that he’ll begin to cultivate his patch of land, and then + your cherry orchard will be happy, rich, splendid.... + </p> + <p> + GAEV. [Angry] What rot! + </p> + <p> + [Enter VARYA and YASHA.] + </p> + <p> + VARYA. There are two telegrams for you, little mother. [Picks out a key + and noisily unlocks an antique cupboard] Here they are. + </p> + <p> + LUBOV. They’re from Paris.... [Tears them up without reading them] I’ve + done with Paris. + </p> + <p> + GAEV. And do you know, Luba, how old this case is? A week ago I took out + the bottom drawer; I looked and saw figures burnt out in it. That case + was made exactly a hundred years ago. What do you think of that? What? + We could celebrate its jubilee. It hasn’t a soul of its own, but still, + say what you will, it’s a fine bookcase. + </p> + <p> + PISCHIN. [Astonished] A hundred years.... Think of that! + </p> + <p> + GAEV. Yes... it’s a real thing. [Handling it] My dear and honoured case! + I congratulate you on your existence, which has already for more than a + hundred years been directed towards the bright ideals of good and + justice; your silent call to productive labour has not grown less in the + hundred years [Weeping] during which you have upheld virtue and faith in + a better future to the generations of our race, educating us up to + ideals of goodness and to the knowledge of a common consciousness. + [Pause.] + </p> + <p> + LOPAKHIN. Yes.... + </p> + <p> + LUBOV. You’re just the same as ever, Leon. + </p> + <p> + GAEV. [A little confused] Off the white on the right, into the corner + pocket. Red ball goes into the middle pocket! + </p> + <p> + LOPAKHIN. [Looks at his watch] It’s time I went. + </p> + <p> + YASHA. [Giving LUBOV ANDREYEVNA her medicine] Will you take your pills + now? + </p> + <p> + PISCHIN. You oughtn’t to take medicines, dear madam; they do you neither + harm nor good.... Give them here, dear madam. [Takes the pills, turns + them out into the palm of his hand, blows on them, puts them into his + mouth, and drinks some kvass] There! + </p> + <p> + LUBOV. [Frightened] You’re off your head! + </p> + <p> + PISCHIN. I’ve taken all the pills. + </p> + <p> + LOPAKHIN. Gormandizer! [All laugh.] + </p> + <p> + FIERS. They were here in Easter week and ate half a pailful of + cucumbers.... [Mumbles.] + </p> + <p> + LUBOV. What’s he driving at? + </p> + <p> + VARYA. He’s been mumbling away for three years. We’re used to that. + </p> + <p> + YASHA. Senile decay. + </p> + <p> + [CHARLOTTA IVANOVNA crosses the stage, dressed in white: she is very + thin and tightly laced; has a lorgnette at her waist.] + </p> + <p> + LOPAKHIN. Excuse me, Charlotta Ivanovna, I haven’t said “How do you do” + to you yet. [Tries to kiss her hand.] + </p> + <p> + CHARLOTTA. [Takes her hand away] If you let people kiss your hand, then + they’ll want your elbow, then your shoulder, and then... + </p> + <p> + LOPAKHIN. My luck’s out to-day! [All laugh] Show us a trick, Charlotta + Ivanovna! + </p> + <p> + LUBOV ANDREYEVNA. Charlotta, do us a trick. + </p> + <p> + CHARLOTTA. It’s not necessary. I want to go to bed. [Exit.] + </p> + <p> + LOPAKHIN. We shall see each other in three weeks. [Kisses LUBOV + ANDREYEVNA’S hand] Now, good-bye. It’s time to go. [To GAEV] See you + again. [Kisses PISCHIN] Au revoir. [Gives his hand to VARYA, then to + FIERS and to YASHA] I don’t want to go away. [To LUBOV ANDREYEVNA]. If + you think about the villas and make up your mind, then just let me know, + and I’ll raise a loan of 50,000 roubles at once. Think about it + seriously. + </p> + <p> + VARYA. [Angrily] Do go, now! + </p> + <p> + LOPAKHIN. I’m going, I’m going.... [Exit.] + </p> + <p> + GAEV. Snob. Still, I beg pardon.... Varya’s going to marry him, he’s + Varya’s young man. + </p> + <p> + VARYA. Don’t talk too much, uncle. + </p> + <p> + LUBOV. Why not, Varya? I should be very glad. He’s a good man. + </p> + <p> + PISCHIN. To speak the honest truth... he’s a worthy man.... And my + Dashenka... also says that... she says lots of things. [Snores, but + wakes up again at once] But still, dear madam, if you could lend me... + 240 roubles... to pay the interest on my mortgage to-morrow... + </p> + <p> + VARYA. [Frightened] We haven’t got it, we haven’t got it! + </p> + <p> + LUBOV. It’s quite true. I’ve nothing at all. + </p> + <p> + PISCHIN. I’ll find it all right [Laughs] I never lose hope. I used to + think, “Everything’s lost now. I’m a dead man,” when, lo and behold, a + railway was built over my land... and they paid me for it. And something + else will happen to-day or to-morrow. Dashenka may win 20,000 roubles... + she’s got a lottery ticket. + </p> + <p> + LUBOV. The coffee’s all gone, we can go to bed. + </p> + <p> + FIERS. [Brushing GAEV’S trousers; in an insistent tone] You’ve put on + the wrong trousers again. What am I to do with you? + </p> + <p> + VARYA. [Quietly] Anya’s asleep. [Opens window quietly] The sun has risen + already; it isn’t cold. Look, little mother: what lovely trees! And the + air! The starlings are singing! + </p> + <p> + GAEV. [Opens the other window] The whole garden’s white. You haven’t + forgotten, Luba? There’s that long avenue going straight, straight, like + a stretched strap; it shines on moonlight nights. Do you remember? You + haven’t forgotten? + </p> + <p> + LUBOV. [Looks out into the garden] Oh, my childhood, days of my + innocence! In this nursery I used to sleep; I used to look out from here + into the orchard. Happiness used to wake with me every morning, and then + it was just as it is now; nothing has changed. [Laughs from joy] It’s + all, all white! Oh, my orchard! After the dark autumns and the cold + winters, you’re young again, full of happiness, the angels of heaven + haven’t left you.... If only I could take my heavy burden off my breast + and shoulders, if I could forget my past! + </p> + <p> + GAEV. Yes, and they’ll sell this orchard to pay off debts. How strange + it seems! + </p> + <p> + LUBOV. Look, there’s my dead mother going in the orchard... dressed in + white! [Laughs from joy] That’s she. + </p> + <p> + GAEV. Where? + </p> + <p> + VARYA. God bless you, little mother. + </p> + <p> + LUBOV. There’s nobody there; I thought I saw somebody. On the right, at + the turning by the summer-house, a white little tree bent down, looking + just like a woman. [Enter TROFIMOV in a worn student uniform and + spectacles] What a marvellous garden! White masses of flowers, the blue + sky.... + </p> + <p> + TROFIMOV. Lubov Andreyevna! [She looks round at him] I only want to show + myself, and I’ll go away. [Kisses her hand warmly] I was told to wait + till the morning, but I didn’t have the patience. + </p> + <p> + [LUBOV ANDREYEVNA looks surprised.] + </p> + <p> + VARYA. [Crying] It’s Peter Trofimov. + </p> + <p> + TROFIMOV. Peter Trofimov, once the tutor of your Grisha.... Have I + changed so much? + </p> + <p> + [LUBOV ANDREYEVNA embraces him and cries softly.] + </p> + <p> + GAEV. [Confused] That’s enough, that’s enough, Luba. + </p> + <p> + VARYA. [Weeps] But I told you, Peter, to wait till to-morrow. + </p> + <p> + LUBOV. My Grisha... my boy... Grisha... my son. + </p> + <p> + VARYA. What are we to do, little mother? It’s the will of God. + </p> + <p> + TROFIMOV. [Softly, through his tears] It’s all right, it’s all right. + </p> + <p> + LUBOV. [Still weeping] My boy’s dead; he was drowned. Why? Why, my + friend? [Softly] Anya’s asleep in there. I am speaking so loudly, making + such a noise.... Well, Peter? What’s made you look so bad? Why have you + grown so old? + </p> + <p> + TROFIMOV. In the train an old woman called me a decayed gentleman. + </p> + <p> + LUBOV. You were quite a boy then, a nice little student, and now your + hair is not at all thick and you wear spectacles. Are you really still a + student? [Goes to the door.] + </p> + <p> + TROFIMOV. I suppose I shall always be a student. + </p> + <p> + LUBOV. [Kisses her brother, then VARYA] Well, let’s go to bed.... And + you’ve grown older, Leonid. + </p> + <p> + PISCHIN. [Follows her] Yes, we’ve got to go to bed.... Oh, my gout! I’ll + stay the night here. If only, Lubov Andreyevna, my dear, you could get + me 240 roubles to-morrow morning— + </p> + <p> + GAEV. Still the same story. + </p> + <p> + PISCHIN. Two hundred and forty roubles... to pay the interest on the + mortgage. + </p> + <p> + LUBOV. I haven’t any money, dear man. + </p> + <p> + PISCHIN. I’ll give it back... it’s a small sum.... + </p> + <p> + LUBOV. Well, then, Leonid will give it to you.... Let him have it, + Leonid. + </p> + <p> + GAEV. By all means; hold out your hand. + </p> + <p> + LUBOV. Why not? He wants it; he’ll give it back. + </p> + <p> + [LUBOV ANDREYEVNA, TROFIMOV, PISCHIN, and FIERS go out. GAEV, VARYA, and + YASHA remain.] + </p> + <p> + GAEV. My sister hasn’t lost the habit of throwing money about. [To + YASHA] Stand off, do; you smell of poultry. + </p> + <p> + YASHA. [Grins] You are just the same as ever, Leonid Andreyevitch. + </p> + <p> + GAEV. Really? [To VARYA] What’s he saying? + </p> + <p> + VARYA. [To YASHA] Your mother’s come from the village; she’s been + sitting in the servants’ room since yesterday, and wants to see you.... + </p> + <p> + YASHA. Bless the woman! + </p> + <p> + VARYA. Shameless man. + </p> + <p> + YASHA. A lot of use there is in her coming. She might have come tomorrow + just as well. [Exit.] + </p> + <p> + VARYA. Mother hasn’t altered a scrap, she’s just as she always was. + She’d give away everything, if the idea only entered her head. + </p> + <p> + GAEV. Yes.... [Pause] If there’s any illness for which people offer many + remedies, you may be sure that particular illness is incurable, I think. + I work my brains to their hardest. I’ve several remedies, very many, and + that really means I’ve none at all. It would be nice to inherit a + fortune from somebody, it would be nice to marry our Anya to a rich man, + it would be nice to go to Yaroslav and try my luck with my aunt the + Countess. My aunt is very, very rich. + </p> + <p> + VARYA. [Weeps] If only God helped us. + </p> + <p> + GAEV. Don’t cry. My aunt’s very rich, but she doesn’t like us. My + sister, in the first place, married an advocate, not a noble.... [ANYA + appears in the doorway] She not only married a man who was not a noble, + but she behaved herself in a way which cannot be described as proper. + She’s nice and kind and charming, and I’m very fond of her, but say what + you will in her favour and you still have to admit that she’s wicked; + you can feel it in her slightest movements. + </p> + <p> + VARYA. [Whispers] Anya’s in the doorway. + </p> + <p> + GAEV. Really? [Pause] It’s curious, something’s got into my right eye... + I can’t see properly out of it. And on Thursday, when I was at the + District Court... + </p> + <p> + [Enter ANYA.] + </p> + <p> + VARYA. Why aren’t you in bed, Anya? + </p> + <p> + ANYA. Can’t sleep. It’s no good. + </p> + <p> + GAEV. My darling! [Kisses ANYA’S face and hands] My child.... [Crying] + You’re not my niece, you’re my angel, you’re my all.... Believe in me, + believe... + </p> + <p> + ANYA. I do believe in you, uncle. Everybody loves you and respects + you... but, uncle dear, you ought to say nothing, no more than that. + What were you saying just now about my mother, your own sister? Why did + you say those things? + </p> + <p> + GAEV. Yes, yes. [Covers his face with her hand] Yes, really, it was + awful. Save me, my God! And only just now I made a speech before a + bookcase... it’s so silly! And only when I’d finished I knew how silly + it was. + </p> + <p> + VARYA. Yes, uncle dear, you really ought to say less. Keep quiet, that’s + all. + </p> + <p> + ANYA. You’d be so much happier in yourself if you only kept quiet. + </p> + <p> + GAEV. All right, I’ll be quiet. [Kisses their hands] I’ll be quiet. But + let’s talk business. On Thursday I was in the District Court, and a lot + of us met there together, and we began to talk of this, that, and the + other, and now I think I can arrange a loan to pay the interest into the + bank. + </p> + <p> + VARYA. If only God would help us! + </p> + <p> + GAEV. I’ll go on Tuesday. I’ll talk with them about it again. [To VARYA] + Don’t howl. [To ANYA] Your mother will have a talk to Lopakhin; he, of + course, won’t refuse... And when you’ve rested you’ll go to Yaroslav to + the Countess, your grandmother. So you see, we’ll have three irons in + the fire, and we’ll be safe. We’ll pay up the interest. I’m certain. + [Puts some sugar-candy into his mouth] I swear on my honour, on anything + you will, that the estate will not be sold! [Excitedly] I swear on my + happiness! Here’s my hand. You may call me a dishonourable wretch if I + let it go to auction! I swear by all I am! + </p> + <p> + ANYA. [She is calm again and happy] How good and clever you are, uncle. + [Embraces him] I’m happy now! I’m happy! All’s well! + </p> + <p> + [Enter FIERS.] + </p> + <p> + FIERS. [Reproachfully] Leonid Andreyevitch, don’t you fear God? When are + you going to bed? + </p> + <p> + GAEV. Soon, soon. You go away, Fiers. I’ll undress myself. Well, + children, bye-bye...! I’ll give you the details to-morrow, but let’s go + to bed now. [Kisses ANYA and VARYA] I’m a man of the eighties.... People + don’t praise those years much, but I can still say that I’ve suffered + for my beliefs. The peasants don’t love me for nothing, I assure you. + We’ve got to learn to know the peasants! We ought to learn how.... + </p> + <p> + ANYA. You’re doing it again, uncle! + </p> + <p> + VARYA. Be quiet, uncle! + </p> + <p> + FIERS. [Angrily] Leonid Andreyevitch! + </p> + <p> + GAEV. I’m coming, I’m coming.... Go to bed now. Off two cushions into + the middle! I turn over a new leaf.... [Exit. FIERS goes out after him.] + </p> + <p> + ANYA. I’m quieter now. I don’t want to go to Yaroslav, I don’t like + grandmother; but I’m calm now; thanks to uncle. [Sits down.] + </p> + <p> + VARYA. It’s time to go to sleep. I’ll go. There’s been an unpleasantness + here while you were away. In the old servants’ part of the house, as you + know, only the old people live—little old Efim and Polya and + Evstigney, and Karp as well. They started letting some tramps or other + spend the night there—I said nothing. Then I heard that they were + saying that I had ordered them to be fed on peas and nothing else; from + meanness, you see.... And it was all Evstigney’s doing.... Very well, I + thought, if that’s what the matter is, just you wait. So I call + Evstigney.... [Yawns] He comes. “What’s this,” I say, “Evstigney, you + old fool.”... [Looks at ANYA] Anya dear! [Pause] She’s dropped off.... + [Takes ANYA’S arm] Let’s go to bye-bye.... Come along!... [Leads her] My + darling’s gone to sleep! Come on.... [They go. In the distance, the + other side of the orchard, a shepherd plays his pipe. TROFIMOV crosses + the stage and stops on seeing VARYA and ANYA] Sh! She’s asleep, asleep. + Come on, dear. + </p> + <p> + ANYA. [Quietly, half-asleep] I’m so tired... all the bells... uncle, + dear! Mother and uncle! + </p> + <p> + VARYA. Come on, dear, come on! [They go into ANYA’S room.] + </p> + <p> + TROFIMOV. [Moved] My sun! My spring! + </p> + <p> + Curtain. + </p> + <a name="link2H_4_0015" id="link2H_4_0015"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + ACT TWO + </h2> + <p> + [In a field. An old, crooked shrine, which has been long abandoned; near + it a well and large stones, which apparently are old tombstones, and an + old garden seat. The road is seen to GAEV’S estate. On one side rise + dark poplars, behind them begins the cherry orchard. In the distance is + a row of telegraph poles, and far, far away on the horizon are the + indistinct signs of a large town, which can only be seen on the finest + and clearest days. It is close on sunset. CHARLOTTA, YASHA, and DUNYASHA + are sitting on the seat; EPIKHODOV stands by and plays on a guitar; all + seem thoughtful. CHARLOTTA wears a man’s old peaked cap; she has unslung + a rifle from her shoulders and is putting to rights the buckle on the + strap.] + </p> + <p> + CHARLOTTA. [Thoughtfully] I haven’t a real passport. I don’t know how + old I am, and I think I’m young. When I was a little girl my father and + mother used to go round fairs and give very good performances and I used + to do the <i>salto mortale</i> and various little things. And when papa + and mamma died a German lady took me to her and began to teach me. I + liked it. I grew up and became a governess. And where I came from and + who I am, I don’t know.... Who my parents were—perhaps they + weren’t married—I don’t know. [Takes a cucumber out of her pocket + and eats] I don’t know anything. [Pause] I do want to talk, but I + haven’t anybody to talk to... I haven’t anybody at all. + </p> + <p> + EPIKHODOV. [Plays on the guitar and sings] + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + “What is this noisy earth to me, + What matter friends and foes?” + I do like playing on the mandoline! +</pre> + <p> + DUNYASHA. That’s a guitar, not a mandoline. [Looks at herself in a + little mirror and powders herself.] + </p> + <p> + EPIKHODOV. For the enamoured madman, this is a mandoline. [Sings] + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + “Oh that the heart was warmed, + By all the flames of love returned!” + </pre> + <p> + [YASHA sings too.] + </p> + <p> + CHARLOTTA. These people sing terribly.... Foo! Like jackals. + </p> + <p> + DUNYASHA. [To YASHA] Still, it must be nice to live abroad. + </p> + <p> + YASHA. Yes, certainly. I cannot differ from you there. [Yawns and lights + a cigar.] + </p> + <p> + EPIKHODOV. That is perfectly natural. Abroad everything is in full + complexity. + </p> + <p> + YASHA. That goes without saying. + </p> + <p> + EPIKHODOV. I’m an educated man, I read various remarkable books, but I + cannot understand the direction I myself want to go—whether to + live or to shoot myself, as it were. So, in case, I always carry a + revolver about with me. Here it is. [Shows a revolver.] + </p> + <p> + CHARLOTTA. I’ve done. Now I’ll go. [Slings the rifle] You, Epikhodov, + are a very clever man and very terrible; women must be madly in love + with you. Brrr! [Going] These wise ones are all so stupid. I’ve nobody + to talk to. I’m always alone, alone; I’ve nobody at all... and I don’t + know who I am or why I live. [Exit slowly.] + </p> + <p> + EPIKHODOV. As a matter of fact, independently of everything else, I must + express my feeling, among other things, that fate has been as pitiless + in her dealings with me as a storm is to a small ship. Suppose, let us + grant, I am wrong; then why did I wake up this morning, to give an + example, and behold an enormous spider on my chest, like that. [Shows + with both hands] And if I do drink some kvass, why is it that there is + bound to be something of the most indelicate nature in it, such as a + beetle? [Pause] Have you read Buckle? [Pause] I should like to trouble + you, Avdotya Fedorovna, for two words. + </p> + <p> + DUNYASHA. Say on. + </p> + <p> + EPIKHODOV. I should prefer to be alone with you. [Sighs.] + </p> + <p> + DUNYASHA. [Shy] Very well, only first bring me my little cloak.... It’s + by the cupboard. It’s a little damp here. + </p> + <p> + EPIKHODOV. Very well... I’ll bring it.... Now I know what to do with my + revolver. [Takes guitar and exits, strumming.] + </p> + <p> + YASHA. Two-and-twenty troubles! A silly man, between you and me and the + gatepost. [Yawns.] + </p> + <p> + DUNYASHA. I hope to goodness he won’t shoot himself. [Pause] I’m so + nervous, I’m worried. I went into service when I was quite a little + girl, and now I’m not used to common life, and my hands are white, white + as a lady’s. I’m so tender and so delicate now; respectable and afraid + of everything.... I’m so frightened. And I don’t know what will happen + to my nerves if you deceive me, Yasha. + </p> + <p> + YASHA. [Kisses her] Little cucumber! Of course, every girl must respect + herself; there’s nothing I dislike more than a badly behaved girl. + </p> + <p> + DUNYASHA. I’m awfully in love with you; you’re educated, you can talk + about everything. [Pause.] + </p> + <p> + YASHA. [Yawns] Yes. I think this: if a girl loves anybody, then that + means she’s immoral. [Pause] It’s nice to smoke a cigar out in the open + air.... [Listens] Somebody’s coming. It’s the mistress, and people with + her. [DUNYASHA embraces him suddenly] Go to the house, as if you’d been + bathing in the river; go by this path, or they’ll meet you and will + think I’ve been meeting you. I can’t stand that sort of thing. + </p> + <p> + DUNYASHA. [Coughs quietly] My head’s aching because of your cigar. + </p> + <p> + [Exit. YASHA remains, sitting by the shrine. Enter LUBOV ANDREYEVNA, + GAEV, and LOPAKHIN.] + </p> + <p> + LOPAKHIN. You must make up your mind definitely—there’s no time to + waste. The question is perfectly plain. Are you willing to let the land + for villas or no? Just one word, yes or no? Just one word! + </p> + <p> + LUBOV. Who’s smoking horrible cigars here? [Sits.] + </p> + <p> + GAEV. They built that railway; that’s made this place very handy. [Sits] + Went to town and had lunch... red in the middle! I’d like to go in now + and have just one game. + </p> + <p> + LUBOV. You’ll have time. + </p> + <p> + LOPAKHIN. Just one word! [Imploringly] Give me an answer! + </p> + <p> + GAEV. [Yawns] Really! + </p> + <p> + LUBOV. [Looks in her purse] I had a lot of money yesterday, but there’s + very little to-day. My poor Varya feeds everybody on milk soup to save + money, in the kitchen the old people only get peas, and I spend + recklessly. [Drops the purse, scattering gold coins] There, they are all + over the place. + </p> + <p> + YASHA. Permit me to pick them up. [Collects the coins.] + </p> + <p> + LUBOV. Please do, Yasha. And why did I go and have lunch there?... A + horrid restaurant with band and tablecloths smelling of soap.... Why do + you drink so much, Leon? Why do you eat so much? Why do you talk so + much? You talked again too much to-day in the restaurant, and it wasn’t + at all to the point—about the seventies and about decadents. And + to whom? Talking to the waiters about decadents! + </p> + <p> + LOPAKHIN. Yes. + </p> + <p> + GAEV. [Waves his hand] I can’t be cured, that’s obvious.... [Irritably + to YASHA] What’s the matter? Why do you keep twisting about in front of + me? + </p> + <p> + YASHA. [Laughs] I can’t listen to your voice without laughing. + </p> + <p> + GAEV. [To his sister] Either he or I... + </p> + <p> + LUBOV. Go away, Yasha; get out of this.... + </p> + <p> + YASHA. [Gives purse to LUBOV ANDREYEVNA] I’ll go at once. [Hardly able + to keep from laughing] This minute.... [Exit.] + </p> + <p> + LOPAKHIN. That rich man Deriganov is preparing to buy your estate. They + say he’ll come to the sale himself. + </p> + <p> + LUBOV. Where did you hear that? + </p> + <p> + LOPAKHIN. They say so in town. + </p> + <p> + GAEV. Our Yaroslav aunt has promised to send something, but I don’t know + when or how much. + </p> + <p> + LOPAKHIN. How much will she send? A hundred thousand roubles? Or two, + perhaps? + </p> + <p> + LUBOV. I’d be glad of ten or fifteen thousand. + </p> + <p> + LOPAKHIN. You must excuse my saying so, but I’ve never met such + frivolous people as you before, or anybody so unbusinesslike and + peculiar. Here I am telling you in plain language that your estate will + be sold, and you don’t seem to understand. + </p> + <p> + LUBOV. What are we to do? Tell us, what? + </p> + <p> + LOPAKHIN. I tell you every day. I say the same thing every day. Both the + cherry orchard and the land must be leased off for villas and at once, + immediately—the auction is staring you in the face: Understand! + Once you do definitely make up your minds to the villas, then you’ll + have as much money as you want and you’ll be saved. + </p> + <p> + LUBOV. Villas and villa residents—it’s so vulgar, excuse me. + </p> + <p> + GAEV. I entirely agree with you. + </p> + <p> + LOPAKHIN. I must cry or yell or faint. I can’t stand it! You’re too much + for me! [To GAEV] You old woman! + </p> + <p> + GAEV. Really! + </p> + <p> + LOPAKHIN. Old woman! [Going out.] + </p> + <p> + LUBOV. [Frightened] No, don’t go away, do stop; be a dear. Please. + Perhaps we’ll find some way out! + </p> + <p> + LOPAKHIN. What’s the good of trying to think! + </p> + <p> + LUBOV. Please don’t go away. It’s nicer when you’re here.... [Pause] I + keep on waiting for something to happen, as if the house is going to + collapse over our heads. + </p> + <p> + GAEV. [Thinking deeply] Double in the corner... across the middle.... + </p> + <p> + LUBOV. We have been too sinful.... + </p> + <p> + LOPAKHIN. What sins have you committed? + </p> + <p> + GAEV. [Puts candy into his mouth] They say that I’ve eaten all my + substance in sugar-candies. [Laughs.] + </p> + <p> + LUBOV. Oh, my sins.... I’ve always scattered money about without holding + myself in, like a madwoman, and I married a man who made nothing but + debts. My husband died of champagne—he drank terribly—and to + my misfortune, I fell in love with another man and went off with him, + and just at that time—it was my first punishment, a blow that hit + me right on the head—here, in the river... my boy was drowned, and + I went away, quite away, never to return, never to see this river + again...I shut my eyes and ran without thinking, but <i>he</i> ran after + me... without pity, without respect. I bought a villa near Mentone + because <i>he</i> fell ill there, and for three years I knew no rest + either by day or night; the sick man wore me out, and my soul dried up. + And last year, when they had sold the villa to pay my debts, I went away + to Paris, and there he robbed me of all I had and threw me over and went + off with another woman. I tried to poison myself.... It was so silly, so + shameful.... And suddenly I longed to be back in Russia, my own land, + with my little girl.... [Wipes her tears] Lord, Lord be merciful to me, + forgive me my sins! Punish me no more! [Takes a telegram out of her + pocket] I had this to-day from Paris.... He begs my forgiveness, he + implores me to return.... [Tears it up] Don’t I hear music? [Listens.] + </p> + <p> + GAEV. That is our celebrated Jewish band. You remember—four + violins, a flute, and a double-bass. + </p> + <p> + LUBOV So it still exists? It would be nice if they came along some + evening. + </p> + <p> + LOPAKHIN. [Listens] I can’t hear.... [Sings quietly] “For money will the + Germans make a Frenchman of a Russian.” [Laughs] I saw such an awfully + funny thing at the theatre last night. + </p> + <p> + LUBOV. I’m quite sure there wasn’t anything at all funny. You oughtn’t + to go and see plays, you ought to go and look at yourself. What a grey + life you lead, what a lot you talk unnecessarily. + </p> + <p> + LOPAKHIN. It’s true. To speak the straight truth, we live a silly life. + [Pause] My father was a peasant, an idiot, he understood nothing, he + didn’t teach me, he was always drunk, and always used a stick on me. In + point of fact, I’m a fool and an idiot too. I’ve never learned anything, + my handwriting is bad, I write so that I’m quite ashamed before people, + like a pig! + </p> + <p> + LUBOV. You ought to get married, my friend. + </p> + <p> + LOPAKHIN. Yes... that’s true. + </p> + <p> + LUBOV. Why not to our Varya? She’s a nice girl. + </p> + <p> + LOPAKHIN. Yes. + </p> + <p> + LUBOV. She’s quite homely in her ways, works all day, and, what matters + most, she’s in love with you. And you’ve liked her for a long time. + </p> + <p> + LOPAKHIN. Well? I don’t mind... she’s a nice girl. [Pause.] + </p> + <p> + GAEV. I’m offered a place in a bank. Six thousand roubles a year.... Did + you hear? + </p> + <p> + LUBOV. What’s the matter with you! Stay where you are.... + </p> + <p> + [Enter FIERS with an overcoat.] + </p> + <p> + FIERS. [To GAEV] Please, sir, put this on, it’s damp. + </p> + <p> + GAEV. [Putting it on] You’re a nuisance, old man. + </p> + <p> + FIERS It’s all very well.... You went away this morning without telling + me. [Examining GAEV.] + </p> + <p> + LUBOV. How old you’ve grown, Fiers! + </p> + <p> + FIERS. I beg your pardon? + </p> + <p> + LOPAKHIN. She says you’ve grown very old! + </p> + <p> + FIERS. I’ve been alive a long time. They were already getting ready to + marry me before your father was born.... [Laughs] And when the + Emancipation came I was already first valet. Only I didn’t agree with + the Emancipation and remained with my people.... [Pause] I remember + everybody was happy, but they didn’t know why. + </p> + <p> + LOPAKHIN. It was very good for them in the old days. At any rate, they + used to beat them. + </p> + <p> + FIERS. [Not hearing] Rather. The peasants kept their distance from the + masters and the masters kept their distance from the peasants, but now + everything’s all anyhow and you can’t understand anything. + </p> + <p> + GAEV. Be quiet, Fiers. I’ve got to go to town tomorrow. I’ve been + promised an introduction to a General who may lend me money on a bill. + </p> + <p> + LOPAKHIN. Nothing will come of it. And you won’t pay your interest, + don’t you worry. + </p> + <p> + LUBOV. He’s talking rubbish. There’s no General at all. + </p> + <p> + [Enter TROFIMOV, ANYA, and VARYA.] + </p> + <p> + GAEV. Here they are. + </p> + <p> + ANYA. Mother’s sitting down here. + </p> + <p> + LUBOV. [Tenderly] Come, come, my dears.... [Embracing ANYA and VARYA] If + you two only knew how much I love you. Sit down next to me, like that. + [All sit down.] + </p> + <p> + LOPAKHIN. Our eternal student is always with the ladies. + </p> + <p> + TROFIMOV. That’s not your business. + </p> + <p> + LOPAKHIN. He’ll soon be fifty, and he’s still a student. + </p> + <p> + TROFIMOV. Leave off your silly jokes! + </p> + <p> + LOPAKHIN. Getting angry, eh, silly? + </p> + <p> + TROFIMOV. Shut up, can’t you. + </p> + <p> + LOPAKHIN. [Laughs] I wonder what you think of me? + </p> + <p> + TROFIMOV. I think, Ermolai Alexeyevitch, that you’re a rich man, and + you’ll soon be a millionaire. Just as the wild beast which eats + everything it finds is needed for changes to take place in matter, so + you are needed too. + </p> + <p> + [All laugh.] + </p> + <p> + VARYA. Better tell us something about the planets, Peter. + </p> + <p> + LUBOV ANDREYEVNA. No, let’s go on with yesterday’s talk! + </p> + <p> + TROFIMOV. About what? + </p> + <p> + GAEV. About the proud man. + </p> + <p> + TROFIMOV. Yesterday we talked for a long time but we didn’t come to + anything in the end. There’s something mystical about the proud man, in + your sense. Perhaps you are right from your point of view, but if you + take the matter simply, without complicating it, then what pride can + there be, what sense can there be in it, if a man is imperfectly made, + physiologically speaking, if in the vast majority of cases he is coarse + and stupid and deeply unhappy? We must stop admiring one another. We + must work, nothing more. + </p> + <p> + GAEV. You’ll die, all the same. + </p> + <p> + TROFIMOV. Who knows? And what does it mean—you’ll die? Perhaps a + man has a hundred senses, and when he dies only the five known to us are + destroyed and the remaining ninety-five are left alive. + </p> + <p> + LUBOV. How clever of you, Peter! + </p> + <p> + LOPAKHIN. [Ironically] Oh, awfully! + </p> + <p> + TROFIMOV. The human race progresses, perfecting its powers. Everything + that is unattainable now will some day be near at hand and + comprehensible, but we must work, we must help with all our strength + those who seek to know what fate will bring. Meanwhile in Russia only a + very few of us work. The vast majority of those intellectuals whom I + know seek for nothing, do nothing, and are at present incapable of hard + work. They call themselves intellectuals, but they use “thou” and “thee” + to their servants, they treat the peasants like animals, they learn + badly, they read nothing seriously, they do absolutely nothing, about + science they only talk, about art they understand little. They are all + serious, they all have severe faces, they all talk about important + things. They philosophize, and at the same time, the vast majority of + us, ninety-nine out of a hundred, live like savages, fighting and + cursing at the slightest opportunity, eating filthily, sleeping in the + dirt, in stuffiness, with fleas, stinks, smells, moral filth, and so + on... And it’s obvious that all our nice talk is only carried on to + distract ourselves and others. Tell me, where are those créches we hear + so much of? and where are those reading-rooms? People only write novels + about them; they don’t really exist. Only dirt, vulgarity, and Asiatic + plagues really exist.... I’m afraid, and I don’t at all like serious + faces; I don’t like serious conversations. Let’s be quiet sooner. + </p> + <p> + LOPAKHIN. You know, I get up at five every morning, I work from morning + till evening, I am always dealing with money—my own and other + people’s—and I see what people are like. You’ve only got to begin + to do anything to find out how few honest, honourable people there are. + Sometimes, when I can’t sleep, I think: “Oh Lord, you’ve given us huge + forests, infinite fields, and endless horizons, and we, living here, + ought really to be giants.” + </p> + <p> + LUBOV. You want giants, do you?... They’re only good in stories, and + even there they frighten one. [EPIKHODOV enters at the back of the stage + playing his guitar. Thoughtfully:] Epikhodov’s there. + </p> + <p> + ANYA. [Thoughtfully] Epikhodov’s there. + </p> + <p> + GAEV. The sun’s set, ladies and gentlemen. + </p> + <p> + TROFIMOV. Yes. + </p> + <p> + GAEV [Not loudly, as if declaiming] O Nature, thou art wonderful, thou + shinest with eternal radiance! Oh, beautiful and indifferent one, thou + whom we call mother, thou containest in thyself existence and death, + thou livest and destroyest.... + </p> + <p> + VARYA. [Entreatingly] Uncle, dear! + </p> + <p> + ANYA. Uncle, you’re doing it again! + </p> + <p> + TROFIMOV. You’d better double the red into the middle. + </p> + <p> + GAEV. I’ll be quiet, I’ll be quiet. + </p> + <p> + [They all sit thoughtfully. It is quiet. Only the mumbling of FIERS is + heard. Suddenly a distant sound is heard as if from the sky, the sound + of a breaking string, which dies away sadly.] + </p> + <p> + LUBOV. What’s that? + </p> + <p> + LOPAKHIN. I don’t know. It may be a bucket fallen down a well somewhere. + But it’s some way off. + </p> + <p> + GAEV. Or perhaps it’s some bird... like a heron. + </p> + <p> + TROFIMOV. Or an owl. + </p> + <p> + LUBOV. [Shudders] It’s unpleasant, somehow. [A pause.] + </p> + <p> + FIERS. Before the misfortune the same thing happened. An owl screamed + and the samovar hummed without stopping. + </p> + <p> + GAEV. Before what misfortune? + </p> + <p> + FIERS. Before the Emancipation. [A pause.] + </p> + <p> + LUBOV. You know, my friends, let’s go in; it’s evening now. [To ANYA] + You’ve tears in your eyes.... What is it, little girl? [Embraces her.] + </p> + <p> + ANYA. It’s nothing, mother. + </p> + <p> + TROFIMOV. Some one’s coming. + </p> + <p> + [Enter a TRAMP in an old white peaked cap and overcoat. He is a little + drunk.] + </p> + <p> + TRAMP. Excuse me, may I go this way straight through to the station? + </p> + <p> + GAEV. You may. Go along this path. + </p> + <p> + TRAMP. I thank you from the bottom of my heart. [Hiccups] Lovely + weather.... [Declaims] My brother, my suffering brother.... Come out on + the Volga, you whose groans... [To VARYA] Mademoiselle, please give a + hungry Russian thirty copecks.... + </p> + <p> + [VARYA screams, frightened.] + </p> + <p> + LOPAKHIN. [Angrily] There’s manners everybody’s got to keep! + </p> + <p> + LUBOV. [With a start] Take this... here you are.... [Feels in her purse] + There’s no silver.... It doesn’t matter, here’s gold. + </p> + <p> + TRAMP. I am deeply grateful to you! [Exit. Laughter.] + </p> + <p> + VARYA. [Frightened] I’m going, I’m going.... Oh, little mother, at home + there’s nothing for the servants to eat, and you gave him gold. + </p> + <p> + LUBOV. What is to be done with such a fool as I am! At home I’ll give + you everything I’ve got. Ermolai Alexeyevitch, lend me some more!... + </p> + <p> + LOPAKHIN. Very well. + </p> + <p> + LUBOV. Let’s go, it’s time. And Varya, we’ve settled your affair; I + congratulate you. + </p> + <p> + VARYA. [Crying] You shouldn’t joke about this, mother. + </p> + <p> + LOPAKHIN. Oh, feel me, get thee to a nunnery. + </p> + <p> + GAEV. My hands are all trembling; I haven’t played billiards for a long + time. + </p> + <p> + LOPAKHIN. Oh, feel me, nymph, remember me in thine orisons. + </p> + <p> + LUBOV. Come along; it’ll soon be supper-time. + </p> + <p> + VARYA. He did frighten me. My heart is beating hard. + </p> + <p> + LOPAKHIN. Let me remind you, ladies and gentlemen, on August 22 the + cherry orchard will be sold. Think of that!... Think of that!... + </p> + <p> + [All go out except TROFIMOV and ANYA.] + </p> + <p> + ANYA. [Laughs] Thanks to the tramp who frightened Barbara, we’re alone + now. + </p> + <p> + TROFIMOV. Varya’s afraid we may fall in love with each other and won’t + get away from us for days on end. Her narrow mind won’t allow her to + understand that we are above love. To escape all the petty and deceptive + things which prevent our being happy and free, that is the aim and + meaning of our lives. Forward! We go irresistibly on to that bright star + which burns there, in the distance! Don’t lag behind, friends! + </p> + <p> + ANYA. [Clapping her hands] How beautifully you talk! [Pause] It is + glorious here to-day! + </p> + <p> + TROFIMOV. Yes, the weather is wonderful. + </p> + <p> + ANYA. What have you done to me, Peter? I don’t love the cherry orchard + as I used to. I loved it so tenderly, I thought there was no better + place in the world than our orchard. + </p> + <p> + TROFIMOV. All Russia is our orchard. The land is great and beautiful, + there are many marvellous places in it. [Pause] Think, Anya, your + grandfather, your great-grandfather, and all your ancestors were + serf-owners, they owned living souls; and now, doesn’t something human + look at you from every cherry in the orchard, every leaf and every + stalk? Don’t you hear voices...? Oh, it’s awful, your orchard is + terrible; and when in the evening or at night you walk through the + orchard, then the old bark on the trees sheds a dim light and the old + cherry-trees seem to be dreaming of all that was a hundred, two hundred + years ago, and are oppressed by their heavy visions. Still, at any rate, + we’ve left those two hundred years behind us. So far we’ve gained + nothing at all—we don’t yet know what the past is to be to us—we + only philosophize, we complain that we are dull, or we drink vodka. For + it’s so clear that in order to begin to live in the present we must + first redeem the past, and that can only be done by suffering, by + strenuous, uninterrupted labour. Understand that, Anya. + </p> + <p> + ANYA. The house in which we live has long ceased to be our house; I + shall go away. I give you my word. + </p> + <p> + TROFIMOV. If you have the housekeeping keys, throw them down the well + and go away. Be as free as the wind. + </p> + <p> + ANYA. [Enthusiastically] How nicely you said that! + </p> + <p> + TROFIMOV. Believe me, Anya, believe me! I’m not thirty yet, I’m young, + I’m still a student, but I have undergone a great deal! I’m as hungry as + the winter, I’m ill, I’m shaken. I’m as poor as a beggar, and where + haven’t I been—fate has tossed me everywhere! But my soul is + always my own; every minute of the day and the night it is filled with + unspeakable presentiments. I know that happiness is coming, Anya, I see + it already.... + </p> + <p> + ANYA. [Thoughtful] The moon is rising. + </p> + <p> + [EPIKHODOV is heard playing the same sad song on his guitar. The moon + rises. Somewhere by the poplars VARYA is looking for ANYA and calling, + “Anya, where are you?”] + </p> + <p> + TROFIMOV. Yes, the moon has risen. [Pause] There is happiness, there it + comes; it comes nearer and nearer; I hear its steps already. And if we + do not see it we shall not know it, but what does that matter? Others + will see it! + </p> + <p> + THE VOICE OF VARYA. Anya! Where are you? + </p> + <p> + TROFIMOV. That’s Varya again! [Angry] Disgraceful! + </p> + <p> + ANYA. Never mind. Let’s go to the river. It’s nice there. + </p> + <p> + TROFIMOV Let’s go. [They go out.] + </p> + <p> + THE VOICE OF VARYA. Anya! Anya! + </p> + <p> + Curtain. + </p> + <a name="link2H_4_0016" id="link2H_4_0016"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + ACT THREE + </h2> + <p> + [A reception-room cut off from a drawing-room by an arch. Chandelier + lighted. A Jewish band, the one mentioned in Act II, is heard playing in + another room. Evening. In the drawing-room the grand rond is being + danced. Voice of SIMEONOV PISCHIN “Promenade a une paire!” Dancers come + into the reception-room; the first pair are PISCHIN and CHARLOTTA + IVANOVNA; the second, TROFIMOV and LUBOV ANDREYEVNA; the third, ANYA and + the POST OFFICE CLERK; the fourth, VARYA and the STATION-MASTER, and so + on. VARYA is crying gently and wipes away her tears as she dances. + DUNYASHA is in the last pair. They go off into the drawing-room, PISCHIN + shouting, “Grand rond, balancez:” and “Les cavaliers à genou et + remerciez vos dames!” FIERS, in a dress-coat, carries a tray with + seltzer-water across. Enter PISCHIN and TROFIMOV from the drawing-room.] + </p> + <p> + PISCHIN. I’m full-blooded and have already had two strokes; it’s hard + for me to dance, but, as they say, if you’re in Rome, you must do as + Rome does. I’ve got the strength of a horse. My dead father, who liked a + joke, peace to his bones, used to say, talking of our ancestors, that + the ancient stock of the Simeonov-Pischins was descended from that + identical horse that Caligula made a senator.... [Sits] But the trouble + is, I’ve no money! A hungry dog only believes in meat. [Snores and wakes + up again immediately] So I... only believe in money.... + </p> + <p> + TROFIMOV. Yes. There is something equine about your figure. + </p> + <p> + PISCHIN. Well... a horse is a fine animal... you can sell a horse. + </p> + <p> + [Billiard playing can be heard in the next room. VARYA appears under the + arch.] + </p> + <p> + TROFIMOV. [Teasing] Madame Lopakhin! Madame Lopakhin! + </p> + <p> + VARYA. [Angry] Decayed gentleman! + </p> + <p> + TROFIMOV. Yes, I am a decayed gentleman, and I’m proud of it! + </p> + <p> + VARYA. [Bitterly] We’ve hired the musicians, but how are they to be + paid? [Exit.] + </p> + <p> + TROFIMOV. [To PISCHIN] If the energy which you, in the course of your + life, have spent in looking for money to pay interest had been used for + something else, then, I believe, after all, you’d be able to turn + everything upside down. + </p> + <p> + PISCHIN. Nietzsche... a philosopher... a very great, a most celebrated + man... a man of enormous brain, says in his books that you can forge + bank-notes. + </p> + <p> + TROFIMOV. And have you read Nietzsche? + </p> + <p> + PISCHIN. Well... Dashenka told me. Now I’m in such a position, I + wouldn’t mind forging them... I’ve got to pay 310 roubles the day after + to-morrow... I’ve got 130 already.... [Feels his pockets, nervously] + I’ve lost the money! The money’s gone! [Crying] Where’s the money? + [Joyfully] Here it is behind the lining... I even began to perspire. + </p> + <p> + [Enter LUBOV ANDREYEVNA and CHARLOTTA IVANOVNA.] + </p> + <p> + LUBOV. [Humming a Caucasian dance] Why is Leonid away so long? What’s he + doing in town? [To DUNYASHA] Dunyasha, give the musicians some tea. + </p> + <p> + TROFIMOV. Business is off, I suppose. + </p> + <p> + LUBOV. And the musicians needn’t have come, and we needn’t have got up + this ball.... Well, never mind.... [Sits and sings softly.] + </p> + <p> + CHARLOTTA. [Gives a pack of cards to PISCHIN] Here’s a pack of cards, + think of any one card you like. + </p> + <p> + PISCHIN. I’ve thought of one. + </p> + <p> + CHARLOTTA. Now shuffle. All right, now. Give them here, oh my dear Mr. + Pischin. <i>Ein, zwei, drei</i>! Now look and you’ll find it in your + coat-tail pocket. + </p> + <p> + PISCHIN. [Takes a card out of his coat-tail pocket] Eight of spades, + quite right! [Surprised] Think of that now! + </p> + <p> + CHARLOTTA. [Holds the pack of cards on the palm of her hand. To + TROFIMOV] Now tell me quickly. What’s the top card? + </p> + <p> + TROFIMOV. Well, the queen of spades. + </p> + <p> + CHARLOTTA. Right! [To PISCHIN] Well now? What card’s on top? + </p> + <p> + PISCHIN. Ace of hearts. + </p> + <p> + CHARLOTTA. Right! [Claps her hands, the pack of cards vanishes] How + lovely the weather is to-day. [A mysterious woman’s voice answers her, + as if from under the floor, “Oh yes, it’s lovely weather, madam.”] You + are so beautiful, you are my ideal. [Voice, “You, madam, please me very + much too.”] + </p> + <p> + STATION-MASTER. [Applauds] Madame ventriloquist, bravo! + </p> + <p> + PISCHIN. [Surprised] Think of that, now! Delightful, Charlotte + Ivanovna... I’m simply in love.... + </p> + <p> + CHARLOTTA. In love? [Shrugging her shoulders] Can you love? <i>Guter + Mensch aber schlechter Musikant</i>. + </p> + <p> + TROFIMOV. [Slaps PISCHIN on the shoulder] Oh, you horse! + </p> + <p> + CHARLOTTA. Attention please, here’s another trick. [Takes a shawl from a + chair] Here’s a very nice plaid shawl, I’m going to sell it.... [Shakes + it] Won’t anybody buy it? + </p> + <p> + PISCHIN. [Astonished] Think of that now! + </p> + <p> + CHARLOTTA. <i>Ein, zwei, drei</i>. + </p> + <p> + [She quickly lifts up the shawl, which is hanging down. ANYA is standing + behind it; she bows and runs to her mother, hugs her and runs back to + the drawing-room amid general applause.] + </p> + <p> + LUBOV. [Applauds] Bravo, bravo! + </p> + <p> + CHARLOTTA. Once again! <i>Ein, zwei, drei</i>! + </p> + <p> + [Lifts the shawl. VARYA stands behind it and bows.] + </p> + <p> + PISCHIN. [Astonished] Think of that, now. + </p> + <p> + CHARLOTTA. The end! + </p> + <p> + [Throws the shawl at PISCHIN, curtseys and runs into the drawing-room.] + </p> + <p> + PISCHIN. [Runs after her] Little wretch.... What? Would you? [Exit.] + </p> + <p> + LUBOV. Leonid hasn’t come yet. I don’t understand what he’s doing so + long in town! Everything must be over by now. The estate must be sold; + or, if the sale never came off, then why does he stay so long? + </p> + <p> + VARYA. [Tries to soothe her] Uncle has bought it. I’m certain of it. + </p> + <p> + TROFIMOV. [Sarcastically] Oh, yes! + </p> + <p> + VARYA. Grandmother sent him her authority for him to buy it in her name + and transfer the debt to her. She’s doing it for Anya. And I’m certain + that God will help us and uncle will buy it. + </p> + <p> + LUBOV. Grandmother sent fifteen thousand roubles from Yaroslav to buy + the property in her name—she won’t trust us—and that wasn’t + even enough to pay the interest. [Covers her face with her hands] My + fate will be settled to-day, my fate.... + </p> + <p> + TROFIMOV. [Teasing VARYA] Madame Lopakhin! + </p> + <p> + VARYA. [Angry] Eternal student! He’s already been expelled twice from + the university. + </p> + <p> + LUBOV. Why are you getting angry, Varya? He’s teasing you about + Lopakhin, well what of it? You can marry Lopakhin if you want to, he’s a + good, interesting man.... You needn’t if you don’t want to; nobody wants + to force you against your will, my darling. + </p> + <p> + VARYA. I do look at the matter seriously, little mother, to be quite + frank. He’s a good man, and I like him. + </p> + <p> + LUBOV. Then marry him. I don’t understand what you’re waiting for. + </p> + <p> + VARYA. I can’t propose to him myself, little mother. People have been + talking about him to me for two years now, but he either says nothing, + or jokes about it. I understand. He’s getting rich, he’s busy, he can’t + bother about me. If I had some money, even a little, even only a hundred + roubles, I’d throw up everything and go away. I’d go into a convent. + </p> + <p> + TROFIMOV. How nice! + </p> + <p> + VARYA. [To TROFIMOV] A student ought to have sense! [Gently, in tears] + How ugly you are now, Peter, how old you’ve grown! [To LUBOV ANDREYEVNA, + no longer crying] But I can’t go on without working, little mother. I + want to be doing something every minute. + </p> + <p> + [Enter YASHA.] + </p> + <p> + YASHA. [Nearly laughing] Epikhodov’s broken a billiard cue! [Exit.] + </p> + <p> + VARYA. Why is Epikhodov here? Who said he could play billiards? I don’t + understand these people. [Exit.] + </p> + <p> + LUBOV. Don’t tease her, Peter, you see that she’s quite unhappy without + that. + </p> + <p> + TROFIMOV. She takes too much on herself, she keeps on interfering in + other people’s business. The whole summer she’s given no peace to me or + to Anya, she’s afraid we’ll have a romance all to ourselves. What has it + to do with her? As if I’d ever given her grounds to believe I’d stoop to + such vulgarity! We are above love. + </p> + <p> + LUBOV. Then I suppose I must be beneath love. [In agitation] Why isn’t + Leonid here? If I only knew whether the estate is sold or not! The + disaster seems to me so improbable that I don’t know what to think, I’m + all at sea... I may scream... or do something silly. Save me, Peter. Say + something, say something. + </p> + <p> + TROFIMOV. Isn’t it all the same whether the estate is sold to-day or + isn’t? It’s been all up with it for a long time; there’s no turning + back, the path’s grown over. Be calm, dear, you shouldn’t deceive + yourself, for once in your life at any rate you must look the truth + straight in the face. + </p> + <p> + LUBOV. What truth? You see where truth is, and where untruth is, but I + seem to have lost my sight and see nothing. You boldly settle all + important questions, but tell me, dear, isn’t it because you’re young, + because you haven’t had time to suffer till you settled a single one of + your questions? You boldly look forward, isn’t it because you cannot + foresee or expect anything terrible, because so far life has been hidden + from your young eyes? You are bolder, more honest, deeper than we are, + but think only, be just a little magnanimous, and have mercy on me. I + was born here, my father and mother lived here, my grandfather too, I + love this house. I couldn’t understand my life without that cherry + orchard, and if it really must be sold, sell me with it! [Embraces + TROFIMOV, kisses his forehead]. My son was drowned here.... [Weeps] Have + pity on me, good, kind man. + </p> + <p> + TROFIMOV. You know I sympathize with all my soul. + </p> + <p> + LUBOV. Yes, but it ought to be said differently, differently.... [Takes + another handkerchief, a telegram falls on the floor] I’m so sick at + heart to-day, you can’t imagine. Here it’s so noisy, my soul shakes at + every sound. I shake all over, and I can’t go away by myself, I’m afraid + of the silence. Don’t judge me harshly, Peter... I loved you, as if you + belonged to my family. I’d gladly let Anya marry you, I swear it, only + dear, you ought to work, finish your studies. You don’t do anything, + only fate throws you about from place to place, it’s so odd.... Isn’t it + true? Yes? And you ought to do something to your beard to make it grow + better [Laughs] You are funny! + </p> + <p> + TROFIMOV. [Picking up telegram] I don’t want to be a Beau Brummel. + </p> + <p> + LUBOV. This telegram’s from Paris. I get one every day. Yesterday and + to-day. That wild man is ill again, he’s bad again.... He begs for + forgiveness, and implores me to come, and I really ought to go to Paris + to be near him. You look severe, Peter, but what can I do, my dear, what + can I do; he’s ill, he’s alone, unhappy, and who’s to look after him, + who’s to keep him away from his errors, to give him his medicine + punctually? And why should I conceal it and say nothing about it; I love + him, that’s plain, I love him, I love him.... That love is a stone round + my neck; I’m going with it to the bottom, but I love that stone and + can’t live without it. [Squeezes TROFIMOV’S hand] Don’t think badly of + me, Peter, don’t say anything to me, don’t say... + </p> + <p> + TROFIMOV. [Weeping] For God’s sake forgive my speaking candidly, but + that man has robbed you! + </p> + <p> + LUBOV. No, no, no, you oughtn’t to say that! [Stops her ears.] + </p> + <p> + TROFIMOV. But he’s a wretch, you alone don’t know it! He’s a petty + thief, a nobody.... + </p> + <p> + LUBOV. [Angry, but restrained] You’re twenty-six or twenty-seven, and + still a schoolboy of the second class! + </p> + <p> + TROFIMOV. Why not! + </p> + <p> + LUBOV. You ought to be a man, at your age you ought to be able to + understand those who love. And you ought to be in love yourself, you + must fall in love! [Angry] Yes, yes! You aren’t pure, you’re just a + freak, a queer fellow, a funny growth... + </p> + <p> + TROFIMOV. [In horror] What is she saying! + </p> + <p> + LUBOV. “I’m above love!” You’re not above love, you’re just what our + Fiers calls a bungler. Not to have a mistress at your age! + </p> + <p> + TROFIMOV. [In horror] This is awful! What is she saying? [Goes quickly + up into the drawing-room, clutching his head] It’s awful... I can’t + stand it, I’ll go away. [Exit, but returns at once] All is over between + us! [Exit.] + </p> + <p> + LUBOV. [Shouts after him] Peter, wait! Silly man, I was joking! Peter! + [Somebody is heard going out and falling downstairs noisily. ANYA and + VARYA scream; laughter is heard immediately] What’s that? + </p> + <p> + [ANYA comes running in, laughing.] + </p> + <p> + ANYA. Peter’s fallen downstairs! [Runs out again.] + </p> + <p> + LUBOV. This Peter’s a marvel. + </p> + <p> + [The STATION-MASTER stands in the middle of the drawing-room and recites + “The Magdalen” by Tolstoy. He is listened to, but he has only delivered + a few lines when a waltz is heard from the front room, and the + recitation is stopped. Everybody dances. TROFIMOV, ANYA, VARYA, and + LUBOV ANDREYEVNA come in from the front room.] + </p> + <p> + LUBOV. Well, Peter... you pure soul... I beg your pardon... let’s dance. + </p> + <p> + [She dances with PETER. ANYA and VARYA dance. FIERS enters and stands + his stick by a side door. YASHA has also come in and looks on at the + dance.] + </p> + <p> + YASHA. Well, grandfather? + </p> + <p> + FIERS. I’m not well. At our balls some time back, generals and barons + and admirals used to dance, and now we send for post-office clerks and + the Station-master, and even they come as a favour. I’m very weak. The + dead master, the grandfather, used to give everybody sealing-wax when + anything was wrong. I’ve taken sealing-wax every day for twenty years, + and more; perhaps that’s why I still live. + </p> + <p> + YASHA. I’m tired of you, grandfather. [Yawns] If you’d only hurry up and + kick the bucket. + </p> + <p> + FIERS. Oh you... bungler! [Mutters.] + </p> + <p> + [TROFIMOV and LUBOV ANDREYEVNA dance in the reception-room, then into + the sitting-room.] + </p> + <p> + LUBOV. <i>Merci</i>. I’ll sit down. [Sits] I’m tired. + </p> + <p> + [Enter ANYA.] + </p> + <p> + ANYA. [Excited] Somebody in the kitchen was saying just now that the + cherry orchard was sold to-day. + </p> + <p> + LUBOV. Sold to whom? + </p> + <p> + ANYA. He didn’t say to whom. He’s gone now. [Dances out into the + reception-room with TROFIMOV.] + </p> + <p> + YASHA. Some old man was chattering about it a long time ago. A stranger! + </p> + <p> + FIERS. And Leonid Andreyevitch isn’t here yet, he hasn’t come. He’s + wearing a light, <i>demi-saison</i> overcoat. He’ll catch cold. Oh these + young fellows. + </p> + <p> + LUBOV. I’ll die of this. Go and find out, Yasha, to whom it’s sold. + </p> + <p> + YASHA. Oh, but he’s been gone a long time, the old man. [Laughs.] + </p> + <p> + LUBOV. [Slightly vexed] Why do you laugh? What are you glad about? + </p> + <p> + YASHA. Epikhodov’s too funny. He’s a silly man. Two-and-twenty troubles. + </p> + <p> + LUBOV. Fiers, if the estate is sold, where will you go? + </p> + <p> + FIERS. I’ll go wherever you order me to go. + </p> + <p> + LUBOV. Why do you look like that? Are you ill? I think you ought to go + to bed.... + </p> + <p> + FIERS. Yes... [With a smile] I’ll go to bed, and who’ll hand things + round and give orders without me? I’ve the whole house on my shoulders. + </p> + <p> + YASHA. [To LUBOV ANDREYEVNA] Lubov Andreyevna! I want to ask a favour of + you, if you’ll be so kind! If you go to Paris again, then please take me + with you. It’s absolutely impossible for me to stop here. [Looking + round; in an undertone] What’s the good of talking about it, you see for + yourself that this is an uneducated country, with an immoral population, + and it’s so dull. The food in the kitchen is beastly, and here’s this + Fiers walking about mumbling various inappropriate things. Take me with + you, be so kind! + </p> + <p> + [Enter PISCHIN.] + </p> + <p> + PISCHIN. I come to ask for the pleasure of a little waltz, dear lady.... + [LUBOV ANDREYEVNA goes to him] But all the same, you wonderful woman, I + must have 180 little roubles from you... I must.... [They dance] 180 + little roubles.... [They go through into the drawing-room.] + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> +YASHA. [Sings softly] “Oh, will you understand + My soul’s deep restlessness?” + </pre> + <p> + [In the drawing-room a figure in a grey top-hat and in baggy check + trousers is waving its hands and jumping about; there are cries of + “Bravo, Charlotta Ivanovna!”] + </p> + <p> + DUNYASHA. [Stops to powder her face] The young mistress tells me to + dance—there are a lot of gentlemen, but few ladies—and my + head goes round when I dance, and my heart beats, Fiers Nicolaevitch; + the Post-office clerk told me something just now which made me catch my + breath. [The music grows faint.] + </p> + <p> + FIERS. What did he say to you? + </p> + <p> + DUNYASHA. He says, “You’re like a little flower.” + </p> + <p> + YASHA. [Yawns] Impolite.... [Exit.] + </p> + <p> + DUNYASHA. Like a little flower. I’m such a delicate girl; I simply love + words of tenderness. + </p> + <p> + FIERS. You’ll lose your head. + </p> + <p> + [Enter EPIKHODOV.] + </p> + <p> + EPIKHODOV. You, Avdotya Fedorovna, want to see me no more than if I was + some insect. [Sighs] Oh, life! + </p> + <p> + DUNYASHA. What do you want? + </p> + <p> + EPIKHODOV. Undoubtedly, perhaps, you may be right. [Sighs] But, + certainly, if you regard the matter from the aspect, then you, if I may + say so, and you must excuse my candidness, have absolutely reduced me to + a state of mind. I know my fate, every day something unfortunate happens + to me, and I’ve grown used to it a long time ago, I even look at my fate + with a smile. You gave me your word, and though I... + </p> + <p> + DUNYASHA. Please, we’ll talk later on, but leave me alone now. I’m + meditating now. [Plays with her fan.] + </p> + <p> + EPIKHODOV. Every day something unfortunate happens to me, and I, if I + may so express myself, only smile, and even laugh. + </p> + <p> + [VARYA enters from the drawing-room.] + </p> + <p> + VARYA. Haven’t you gone yet, Simeon? You really have no respect for + anybody. [To DUNYASHA] You go away, Dunyasha. [To EPIKHODOV] You play + billiards and break a cue, and walk about the drawing-room as if you + were a visitor! + </p> + <p> + EPIKHODOV. You cannot, if I may say so, call me to order. + </p> + <p> + VARYA. I’m not calling you to order, I’m only telling you. You just walk + about from place to place and never do your work. Goodness only knows + why we keep a clerk. + </p> + <p> + EPIKHODOV. [Offended] Whether I work, or walk about, or eat, or play + billiards, is only a matter to be settled by people of understanding and + my elders. + </p> + <p> + VARYA. You dare to talk to me like that! [Furious] You dare? You mean + that I know nothing? Get out of here! This minute! + </p> + <p> + EPIKHODOV. [Nervous] I must ask you to express yourself more delicately. + </p> + <p> + VARYA. [Beside herself] Get out this minute. Get out! [He goes to the + door, she follows] Two-and-twenty troubles! I don’t want any sign of you + here! I don’t want to see anything of you! [EPIKHODOV has gone out; his + voice can be heard outside: “I’ll make a complaint against you.”] What, + coming back? [Snatches up the stick left by FIERS by the door] Go... + go... go, I’ll show you.... Are you going? Are you going? Well, then + take that. [She hits out as LOPAKHIN enters.] + </p> + <p> + LOPAKHIN. Much obliged. + </p> + <p> + VARYA. [Angry but amused] I’m sorry. + </p> + <p> + LOPAKHIN. Never mind. I thank you for my pleasant reception. + </p> + <p> + VARYA. It isn’t worth any thanks. [Walks away, then looks back and asks + gently] I didn’t hurt you, did I? + </p> + <p> + LOPAKHIN. No, not at all. There’ll be an enormous bump, that’s all. + </p> + <p> + VOICES FROM THE DRAWING-ROOM. Lopakhin’s returned! Ermolai Alexeyevitch! + </p> + <p> + PISCHIN. Now we’ll see what there is to see and hear what there is to + hear... [Kisses LOPAKHIN] You smell of cognac, my dear, my soul. And + we’re all having a good time. + </p> + <p> + [Enter LUBOV ANDREYEVNA.] + </p> + <p> + LUBOV. Is that you, Ermolai Alexeyevitch? Why were you so long? Where’s + Leonid? + </p> + <p> + LOPAKHIN. Leonid Andreyevitch came back with me, he’s coming.... + </p> + <p> + LUBOV. [Excited] Well, what? Is it sold? Tell me? + </p> + <p> + LOPAKHIN. [Confused, afraid to show his pleasure] The sale ended up at + four o’clock.... We missed the train, and had to wait till half-past + nine. [Sighs heavily] Ooh! My head’s going round a little. + </p> + <p> + [Enter GAEV; in his right hand he carries things he has bought, with his + left he wipes away his tears.] + </p> + <p> + LUBOV. Leon, what’s happened? Leon, well? [Impatiently, in tears] Quick, + for the love of God.... + </p> + <p> + GAEV. [Says nothing to her, only waves his hand; to FIERS, weeping] + Here, take this.... Here are anchovies, herrings from Kertch.... I’ve + had no food to-day.... I have had a time! [The door from the + billiard-room is open; the clicking of the balls is heard, and YASHA’S + voice, “Seven, eighteen!” GAEV’S expression changes, he cries no more] + I’m awfully tired. Help me change my clothes, Fiers. + </p> + <p> + [Goes out through the drawing-room; FIERS after him.] + </p> + <p> + PISCHIN. What happened? Come on, tell us! + </p> + <p> + LUBOV. Is the cherry orchard sold? + </p> + <p> + LOPAKHIN. It is sold. + </p> + <p> + LUBOV. Who bought it? + </p> + <p> + LOPAKHIN. I bought it. + </p> + <p> + [LUBOV ANDREYEVNA is overwhelmed; she would fall if she were not + standing by an armchair and a table. VARYA takes her keys off her belt, + throws them on the floor, into the middle of the room and goes out.] + </p> + <p> + LOPAKHIN. I bought it! Wait, ladies and gentlemen, please, my head’s + going round, I can’t talk.... [Laughs] When we got to the sale, + Deriganov was there already. Leonid Andreyevitch had only fifteen + thousand roubles, and Deriganov offered thirty thousand on top of the + mortgage to begin with. I saw how matters were, so I grabbed hold of him + and bid forty. He went up to forty-five, I offered fifty-five. That + means he went up by fives and I went up by tens.... Well, it came to an + end. I bid ninety more than the mortgage; and it stayed with me. The + cherry orchard is mine now, mine! [Roars with laughter] My God, my God, + the cherry orchard’s mine! Tell me I’m drunk, or mad, or dreaming.... + [Stamps his feet] Don’t laugh at me! If my father and grandfather rose + from their graves and looked at the whole affair, and saw how their + Ermolai, their beaten and uneducated Ermolai, who used to run barefoot + in the winter, how that very Ermolai has bought an estate, which is the + most beautiful thing in the world! I’ve bought the estate where my + grandfather and my father were slaves, where they weren’t even allowed + into the kitchen. I’m asleep, it’s only a dream, an illusion.... It’s + the fruit of imagination, wrapped in the fog of the unknown.... [Picks + up the keys, nicely smiling] She threw down the keys, she wanted to show + she was no longer mistress here.... [Jingles keys] Well, it’s all one! + [Hears the band tuning up] Eh, musicians, play, I want to hear you! Come + and look at Ermolai Lopakhin laying his axe to the cherry orchard, come + and look at the trees falling! We’ll build villas here, and our + grandsons and great-grandsons will see a new life here.... Play on, + music! [The band plays. LUBOV ANDREYEVNA sinks into a chair and weeps + bitterly. LOPAKHIN continues reproachfully] Why then, why didn’t you + take my advice? My poor, dear woman, you can’t go back now. [Weeps] Oh, + if only the whole thing was done with, if only our uneven, unhappy life + were changed! + </p> + <p> + PISCHIN. [Takes his arm; in an undertone] She’s crying. Let’s go into + the drawing-room and leave her by herself... come on.... [Takes his arm + and leads him out.] + </p> + <p> + LOPAKHIN. What’s that? Bandsmen, play nicely! Go on, do just as I want + you to! [Ironically] The new owner, the owner of the cherry orchard is + coming! [He accidentally knocks up against a little table and nearly + upsets the candelabra] I can pay for everything! [Exit with PISCHIN] + </p> + <p> + [In the reception-room and the drawing-room nobody remains except LUBOV + ANDREYEVNA, who sits huddled up and weeping bitterly. The band plays + softly. ANYA and TROFIMOV come in quickly. ANYA goes up to her mother + and goes on her knees in front of her. TROFIMOV stands at the + drawing-room entrance.] + </p> + <p> + ANYA. Mother! mother, are you crying? My dear, kind, good mother, my + beautiful mother, I love you! Bless you! The cherry orchard is sold, + we’ve got it no longer, it’s true, true, but don’t cry mother, you’ve + still got your life before you, you’ve still your beautiful pure soul... + Come with me, come, dear, away from here, come! We’ll plant a new + garden, finer than this, and you’ll see it, and you’ll understand, and + deep joy, gentle joy will sink into your soul, like the evening sun, and + you’ll smile, mother! Come, dear, let’s go! + </p> + <p> + Curtain. + </p> + <a name="link2H_4_0017" id="link2H_4_0017"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + ACT FOUR + </h2> + <p> + [The stage is set as for Act I. There are no curtains on the windows, no + pictures; only a few pieces of furniture are left; they are piled up in + a corner as if for sale. The emptiness is felt. By the door that leads + out of the house and at the back of the stage, portmanteaux and + travelling paraphernalia are piled up. The door on the left is open; the + voices of VARYA and ANYA can be heard through it. LOPAKHIN stands and + waits. YASHA holds a tray with little tumblers of champagne. Outside, + EPIKHODOV is tying up a box. Voices are heard behind the stage. The + peasants have come to say good-bye. The voice of GAEV is heard: “Thank + you, brothers, thank you.”] + </p> + <p> + YASHA. The common people have come to say good-bye. I am of the opinion, + Ermolai Alexeyevitch, that they’re good people, but they don’t + understand very much. + </p> + <p> + [The voices die away. LUBOV ANDREYEVNA and GAEV enter. She is not crying + but is pale, and her face trembles; she can hardly speak.] + </p> + <p> + GAEV. You gave them your purse, Luba. You can’t go on like that, you + can’t! + </p> + <p> + LUBOV. I couldn’t help myself, I couldn’t! [They go out.] + </p> + <p> + LOPAKHIN. [In the doorway, calling after them] Please, I ask you most + humbly! Just a little glass to say good-bye. I didn’t remember to bring + any from town and I only found one bottle at the station. Please, do! + [Pause] Won’t you really have any? [Goes away from the door] If I only + knew—I wouldn’t have bought any. Well, I shan’t drink any either. + [YASHA carefully puts the tray on a chair] You have a drink, Yasha, at + any rate. + </p> + <p> + YASHA. To those departing! And good luck to those who stay behind! + [Drinks] I can assure you that this isn’t real champagne. + </p> + <p> + LOPAKHIN. Eight roubles a bottle. [Pause] It’s devilish cold here. + </p> + <p> + YASHA. There are no fires to-day, we’re going away. [Laughs] + </p> + <p> + LOPAKHIN. What’s the matter with you? + </p> + <p> + YASHA. I’m just pleased. + </p> + <p> + LOPAKHIN. It’s October outside, but it’s as sunny and as quiet as if it + were summer. Good for building. [Looking at his watch and speaking + through the door] Ladies and gentlemen, please remember that it’s only + forty-seven minutes till the train goes! You must go off to the station + in twenty minutes. Hurry up. + </p> + <p> + [TROFIMOV, in an overcoat, comes in from the grounds.] + </p> + <p> + TROFIMOV. I think it’s time we went. The carriages are waiting. Where + the devil are my goloshes? They’re lost. [Through the door] Anya, I + can’t find my goloshes! I can’t! + </p> + <p> + LOPAKHIN. I’ve got to go to Kharkov. I’m going in the same train as you. + I’m going to spend the whole winter in Kharkov. I’ve been hanging about + with you people, going rusty without work. I can’t live without working. + I must have something to do with my hands; they hang about as if they + weren’t mine at all. + </p> + <p> + TROFIMOV. We’ll go away now and then you’ll start again on your useful + labours. + </p> + <p> + LOPAKHIN. Have a glass. + </p> + <p> + TROFIMOV. I won’t. + </p> + <p> + LOPAKHIN. So you’re off to Moscow now? + </p> + <p> + TROFIMOV Yes. I’ll see them into town and to-morrow I’m off to Moscow. + </p> + <p> + LOPAKHIN. Yes.... I expect the professors don’t lecture nowadays; + they’re waiting till you turn up! + </p> + <p> + TROFIMOV. That’s not your business. + </p> + <p> + LOPAKHIN. How many years have you been going to the university? + </p> + <p> + TROFIMOV. Think of something fresh. This is old and flat. [Looking for + his goloshes] You know, we may not meet each other again, so just let me + give you a word of advice on parting: “Don’t wave your hands about! Get + rid of that habit of waving them about. And then, building villas and + reckoning on their residents becoming freeholders in time—that’s + the same thing; it’s all a matter of waving your hands about.... Whether + I want to or not, you know, I like you. You’ve thin, delicate fingers, + like those of an artist, and you’ve a thin, delicate soul....” + </p> + <p> + LOPAKHIN. [Embraces him] Good-bye, dear fellow. Thanks for all you’ve + said. If you want any, take some money from me for the journey. + </p> + <p> + TROFIMOV. Why should I? I don’t want it. + </p> + <p> + LOPAKHIN. But you’ve nothing! + </p> + <p> + TROFIMOV. Yes, I have, thank you; I’ve got some for a translation. Here + it is in my pocket. [Nervously] But I can’t find my goloshes! + </p> + <p> + VARYA. [From the other room] Take your rubbish away! [Throws a pair of + rubber goloshes on to the stage.] + </p> + <p> + TROFIMOV. Why are you angry, Varya? Hm! These aren’t my goloshes! + </p> + <p> + LOPAKHIN. In the spring I sowed three thousand acres of poppies, and now + I’ve made forty thousand roubles net profit. And when my poppies were in + flower, what a picture it was! So I, as I was saying, made forty + thousand roubles, and I mean I’d like to lend you some, because I can + afford it. Why turn up your nose at it? I’m just a simple peasant.... + </p> + <p> + TROFIMOV. Your father was a peasant, mine was a chemist, and that means + absolutely nothing. [LOPAKHIN takes out his pocket-book] No, no.... Even + if you gave me twenty thousand I should refuse. I’m a free man. And + everything that all you people, rich and poor, value so highly and so + dearly hasn’t the least influence over me; it’s like a flock of down in + the wind. I can do without you, I can pass you by. I’m strong and proud. + Mankind goes on to the highest truths and to the highest happiness such + as is only possible on earth, and I go in the front ranks! + </p> + <p> + LOPAKHIN. Will you get there? + </p> + <p> + TROFIMOV. I will. [Pause] I’ll get there and show others the way. [Axes + cutting the trees are heard in the distance.] + </p> + <p> + LOPAKHIN. Well, good-bye, old man. It’s time to go. Here we stand + pulling one another’s noses, but life goes its own way all the time. + When I work for a long time, and I don’t get tired, then I think more + easily, and I think I get to understand why I exist. And there are so + many people in Russia, brother, who live for nothing at all. Still, work + goes on without that. Leonid Andreyevitch, they say, has accepted a post + in a bank; he will get sixty thousand roubles a year.... But he won’t + stand it; he’s very lazy. + </p> + <p> + ANYA. [At the door] Mother asks if you will stop them cutting down the + orchard until she has gone away. + </p> + <p> + TROFIMOV. Yes, really, you ought to have enough tact not to do that. + [Exit.] + </p> + <p> + LOPAKHIN, All right, all right... yes, he’s right. [Exit.] + </p> + <p> + ANYA. Has Fiers been sent to the hospital? + </p> + <p> + YASHA. I gave the order this morning. I suppose they’ve sent him. + </p> + <p> + ANYA. [To EPIKHODOV, who crosses the room] Simeon Panteleyevitch, please + make inquiries if Fiers has been sent to the hospital. + </p> + <p> + YASHA. [Offended] I told Egor this morning. What’s the use of asking ten + times! + </p> + <p> + EPIKHODOV. The aged Fiers, in my conclusive opinion, isn’t worth + mending; his forefathers had better have him. I only envy him. [Puts a + trunk on a hat-box and squashes it] Well, of course. I thought so! + [Exit.] + </p> + <p> + YASHA. [Grinning] Two-and-twenty troubles. + </p> + <p> + VARYA. [Behind the door] Has Fiers been taken away to the hospital? + </p> + <p> + ANYA. Yes. + </p> + <p> + VARYA. Why didn’t they take the letter to the doctor? + </p> + <p> + ANYA. It’ll have to be sent after him. [Exit.] + </p> + <p> + VARYA. [In the next room] Where’s Yasha? Tell him his mother’s come and + wants to say good-bye to him. + </p> + <p> + YASHA. [Waving his hand] She’ll make me lose all patience! + </p> + <p> + [DUNYASHA has meanwhile been bustling round the luggage; now that YASHA + is left alone, she goes up to him.] + </p> + <p> + DUNYASHA. If you only looked at me once, Yasha. You’re going away, + leaving me behind. + </p> + <p> + [Weeps and hugs him round the neck.] + </p> + <p> + YASHA. What’s the use of crying? [Drinks champagne] In six days I’ll be + again in Paris. To-morrow we get into the express and off we go. I can + hardly believe it. Vive la France! It doesn’t suit me here, I can’t live + here... it’s no good. Well, I’ve seen the uncivilized world; I have had + enough of it. [Drinks champagne] What do you want to cry for? You behave + yourself properly, and then you won’t cry. + </p> + <p> + DUNYASHA. [Looks in a small mirror and powders her face] Send me a + letter from Paris. You know I loved you, Yasha, so much! I’m a sensitive + creature, Yasha. + </p> + <p> + YASHA. Somebody’s coming. + </p> + <p> + [He bustles around the luggage, singing softly. Enter LUBOV ANDREYEVNA, + GAEV, ANYA, and CHARLOTTA IVANOVNA.] + </p> + <p> + GAEV. We’d better be off. There’s no time left. [Looks at YASHA] + Somebody smells of herring! + </p> + <p> + LUBOV. We needn’t get into our carriages for ten minutes.... [Looks + round the room] Good-bye, dear house, old grandfather. The winter will + go, the spring will come, and then you’ll exist no more, you’ll be + pulled down. How much these walls have seen! [Passionately kisses her + daughter] My treasure, you’re radiant, your eyes flash like two jewels! + Are you happy? Very? + </p> + <p> + ANYA. Very! A new life is beginning, mother! + </p> + <p> + GAEV. [Gaily] Yes, really, everything’s all right now. Before the cherry + orchard was sold we all were excited and we suffered, and then, when the + question was solved once and for all, we all calmed down, and even + became cheerful. I’m a bank official now, and a financier... red in the + middle; and you, Luba, for some reason or other, look better, there’s no + doubt about it. + </p> + <p> + LUBOV Yes. My nerves are better, it’s true. [She puts on her coat and + hat] I sleep well. Take my luggage out, Yasha. It’s time. [To ANYA] My + little girl, we’ll soon see each other again.... I’m off to Paris. I’ll + live there on the money your grandmother from Yaroslav sent along to buy + the estate—bless her!—though it won’t last long. + </p> + <p> + ANYA. You’ll come back soon, soon, mother, won’t you? I’ll get ready, + and pass the exam at the Higher School, and then I’ll work and help you. + We’ll read all sorts of books to one another, won’t we? [Kisses her + mother’s hands] We’ll read in the autumn evenings; we’ll read many + books, and a beautiful new world will open up before us.... + [Thoughtfully] You’ll come, mother.... + </p> + <p> + LUBOV. I’ll come, my darling. [Embraces her.] + </p> + <p> + [Enter LOPAKHIN. CHARLOTTA is singing to herself.] + </p> + <p> + GAEV. Charlotta is happy; she sings! + </p> + <p> + CHARLOTTA. [Takes a bundle, looking like a wrapped-up baby] My little + baby, bye-bye. [The baby seems to answer, “Oua! Oua!”] Hush, my nice + little boy. [“Oua! Oua!”] I’m so sorry for you! [Throws the bundle back] + So please find me a new place. I can’t go on like this. + </p> + <p> + LOPAKHIN. We’ll find one, Charlotta Ivanovna, don’t you be afraid. + </p> + <p> + GAEV. Everybody’s leaving us. Varya’s going away... we’ve suddenly + become unnecessary. + </p> + <p> + CHARLOTTA. I’ve nowhere to live in town. I must go away. [Hums] Never + mind. + </p> + <p> + [Enter PISCHIN.] + </p> + <p> + LOPAKHIN. Nature’s marvel! + </p> + <p> + PISCHIN. [Puffing] Oh, let me get my breath back.... I’m fagged out... + My most honoured, give me some water.... + </p> + <p> + GAEV. Come for money, what? I’m your humble servant, and I’m going out + of the way of temptation. [Exit.] + </p> + <p> + PISCHIN. I haven’t been here for ever so long... dear madam. [To + LOPAKHIN] You here? Glad to see you... man of immense brain... take + this... take it.... [Gives LOPAKHIN money] Four hundred roubles.... That + leaves 840.... + </p> + <p> + LOPAKHIN. [Shrugs his shoulders in surprise] As if I were dreaming. + Where did you get this from? + </p> + <p> + PISCHIN. Stop... it’s hot.... A most unexpected thing happened. Some + Englishmen came along and found some white clay on my land.... [To LUBOV + ANDREYEVNA] And here’s four hundred for you... beautiful lady.... [Gives + her money] Give you the rest later.... [Drinks water] Just now a young + man in the train was saying that some great philosopher advises us all + to jump off roofs. “Jump!” he says, and that’s all. [Astonished] To + think of that, now! More water! + </p> + <p> + LOPAKHIN. Who were these Englishmen? + </p> + <p> + PISCHIN. I’ve leased off the land with the clay to them for twenty-four + years.... Now, excuse me, I’ve no time.... I must run off.... I must go + to Znoikov and to Kardamonov... I owe them all money.... [Drinks] + Good-bye. I’ll come in on Thursday. + </p> + <p> + LUBOV. We’re just off to town, and to-morrow I go abroad. + </p> + <p> + PISCHIN. [Agitated] What? Why to town? I see furniture... trunks.... + Well, never mind. [Crying] Never mind. These Englishmen are men of + immense intellect.... Never mind.... Be happy.... God will help you.... + Never mind.... Everything in this world comes to an end.... [Kisses + LUBOV ANDREYEVNA’S hand] And if you should happen to hear that my end + has come, just remember this old... horse and say: “There was one such + and such a Simeonov-Pischin, God bless his soul....” Wonderful + weather... yes.... [Exit deeply moved, but returns at once and says in + the door] Dashenka sent her love! [Exit.] + </p> + <p> + LUBOV. Now we can go. I’ve two anxieties, though. The first is poor + Fiers [Looks at her watch] We’ve still five minutes.... + </p> + <p> + ANYA. Mother, Fiers has already been sent to the hospital. Yasha sent + him off this morning. + </p> + <p> + LUBOV. The second is Varya. She’s used to getting up early and to work, + and now she’s no work to do she’s like a fish out of water. She’s grown + thin and pale, and she cries, poor thing.... [Pause] You know very well, + Ermolai Alexeyevitch, that I used to hope to marry her to you, and I + suppose you are going to marry somebody? [Whispers to ANYA, who nods to + CHARLOTTA, and they both go out] She loves you, she’s your sort, and I + don’t understand, I really don’t, why you seem to be keeping away from + each other. I don’t understand! + </p> + <p> + LOPAKHIN. To tell the truth, I don’t understand it myself. It’s all so + strange.... If there’s still time, I’ll be ready at once... Let’s get it + over, once and for all; I don’t feel as if I could ever propose to her + without you. + </p> + <p> + LUBOV. Excellent. It’ll only take a minute. I’ll call her. + </p> + <p> + LOPAKHIN. The champagne’s very appropriate. [Looking at the tumblers] + They’re empty, somebody’s already drunk them. [YASHA coughs] I call that + licking it up.... + </p> + <p> + LUBOV. [Animated] Excellent. We’ll go out. Yasha, allez. I’ll call her + in.... [At the door] Varya, leave that and come here. Come! [Exit with + YASHA.] + </p> + <p> + LOPAKHIN. [Looks at his watch] Yes.... [Pause.] + </p> + <p> + [There is a restrained laugh behind the door, a whisper, then VARYA + comes in.] + </p> + <p> + VARYA. [Looking at the luggage in silence] I can’t seem to find it.... + </p> + <p> + LOPAKHIN. What are you looking for? + </p> + <p> + VARYA. I packed it myself and I don’t remember. [Pause.] + </p> + <p> + LOPAKHIN. Where are you going to now, Barbara Mihailovna? + </p> + <p> + VARYA. I? To the Ragulins.... I’ve got an agreement to go and look after + their house... as housekeeper or something. + </p> + <p> + LOPAKHIN. Is that at Yashnevo? It’s about fifty miles. [Pause] So life + in this house is finished now.... + </p> + <p> + VARYA. [Looking at the luggage] Where is it?... perhaps I’ve put it away + in the trunk.... Yes, there’ll be no more life in this house.... + </p> + <p> + LOPAKHIN. And I’m off to Kharkov at once... by this train. I’ve a lot of + business on hand. I’m leaving Epikhodov here... I’ve taken him on. + </p> + <p> + VARYA. Well, well! + </p> + <p> + LOPAKHIN. Last year at this time the snow was already falling, if you + remember, and now it’s nice and sunny. Only it’s rather cold.... There’s + three degrees of frost. + </p> + <p> + VARYA. I didn’t look. [Pause] And our thermometer’s broken.... [Pause.] + </p> + <p> + VOICE AT THE DOOR. Ermolai Alexeyevitch! + </p> + <p> + LOPAKHIN. [As if he has long been waiting to be called] This minute. + [Exit quickly.] + </p> + <p> + [VARYA, sitting on the floor, puts her face on a bundle of clothes and + weeps gently. The door opens. LUBOV ANDREYEVNA enters carefully.] + </p> + <p> + LUBOV. Well? [Pause] We must go. + </p> + <p> + VARYA. [Not crying now, wipes her eyes] Yes, it’s quite time, little + mother. I’ll get to the Ragulins to-day, if I don’t miss the train.... + </p> + <p> + LUBOV. [At the door] Anya, put on your things. [Enter ANYA, then GAEV, + CHARLOTTA IVANOVNA. GAEV wears a warm overcoat with a cape. A servant + and drivers come in. EPIKHODOV bustles around the luggage] Now we can go + away. + </p> + <p> + ANYA. [Joyfully] Away! + </p> + <p> + GAEV. My friends, my dear friends! Can I be silent, in leaving this + house for evermore?—can I restrain myself, in saying farewell, + from expressing those feelings which now fill my whole being...? + </p> + <p> + ANYA. [Imploringly] Uncle! + </p> + <p> + VARYA. Uncle, you shouldn’t! + </p> + <p> + GAEV. [Stupidly] Double the red into the middle.... I’ll be quiet. + </p> + <p> + [Enter TROFIMOV, then LOPAKHIN.] + </p> + <p> + TROFIMOV. Well, it’s time to be off. + </p> + <p> + LOPAKHIN. Epikhodov, my coat! + </p> + <p> + LUBOV. I’ll sit here one more minute. It’s as if I’d never really + noticed what the walls and ceilings of this house were like, and now I + look at them greedily, with such tender love.... + </p> + <p> + GAEV. I remember, when I was six years old, on Trinity Sunday, I sat at + this window and looked and saw my father going to church.... + </p> + <p> + LUBOV. Have all the things been taken away? + </p> + <p> + LOPAKHIN. Yes, all, I think. [To EPIKHODOV, putting on his coat] You see + that everything’s quite straight, Epikhodov. + </p> + <p> + EPIKHODOV. [Hoarsely] You may depend upon me, Ermolai Alexeyevitch! + </p> + <p> + LOPAKHIN. What’s the matter with your voice? + </p> + <p> + EPIKHODOV. I swallowed something just now; I was having a drink of + water. + </p> + <p> + YASHA. [Suspiciously] What manners.... + </p> + <p> + LUBOV. We go away, and not a soul remains behind. + </p> + <p> + LOPAKHIN. Till the spring. + </p> + <p> + VARYA. [Drags an umbrella out of a bundle, and seems to be waving it + about. LOPAKHIN appears to be frightened] What are you doing?... I never + thought... + </p> + <p> + TROFIMOV. Come along, let’s take our seats... it’s time! The train will + be in directly. + </p> + <p> + VARYA. Peter, here they are, your goloshes, by that trunk. [In tears] + And how old and dirty they are.... + </p> + <p> + TROFIMOV. [Putting them on] Come on! + </p> + <p> + GAEV. [Deeply moved, nearly crying] The train... the station.... Cross + in the middle, a white double in the corner.... + </p> + <p> + LUBOV. Let’s go! + </p> + <p> + LOPAKHIN. Are you all here? There’s nobody else? [Locks the side-door on + the left] There’s a lot of things in there. I must lock them up. Come! + </p> + <p> + ANYA. Good-bye, home! Good-bye, old life! + </p> + <p> + TROFIMOV. Welcome, new life! [Exit with ANYA.] + </p> + <p> + [VARYA looks round the room and goes out slowly. YASHA and CHARLOTTA, + with her little dog, go out.] + </p> + <p> + LOPAKHIN. Till the spring, then! Come on... till we meet again! [Exit.] + </p> + <p> + [LUBOV ANDREYEVNA and GAEV are left alone. They might almost have been + waiting for that. They fall into each other’s arms and sob restrainedly + and quietly, fearing that somebody might hear them.] + </p> + <p> + GAEV. [In despair] My sister, my sister.... + </p> + <p> + LUBOV. My dear, my gentle, beautiful orchard! My life, my youth, my + happiness, good-bye! Good-bye! + </p> + <p> + ANYA’S VOICE. [Gaily] Mother! + </p> + <p> + TROFIMOV’S VOICE. [Gaily, excited] Coo-ee! + </p> + <p> + LUBOV. To look at the walls and the windows for the last time.... My + dead mother used to like to walk about this room.... + </p> + <p> + GAEV. My sister, my sister! + </p> + <p> + ANYA’S VOICE. Mother! + </p> + <p> + TROFIMOV’S VOICE. Coo-ee! + </p> + <p> + LUBOV. We’re coming! [They go out.] + </p> + <p> + [The stage is empty. The sound of keys being turned in the locks is + heard, and then the noise of the carriages going away. It is quiet. Then + the sound of an axe against the trees is heard in the silence sadly and + by itself. Steps are heard. FIERS comes in from the door on the right. + He is dressed as usual, in a short jacket and white waistcoat; slippers + on his feet. He is ill. He goes to the door and tries the handle.] + </p> + <p> + FIERS. It’s locked. They’ve gone away. [Sits on a sofa] They’ve + forgotten about me.... Never mind, I’ll sit here.... And Leonid + Andreyevitch will have gone in a light overcoat instead of putting on + his fur coat.... [Sighs anxiously] I didn’t see.... Oh, these young + people! [Mumbles something that cannot be understood] Life’s gone on as + if I’d never lived. [Lying down] I’ll lie down.... You’ve no strength + left in you, nothing left at all.... Oh, you... bungler! + </p> + <p> + [He lies without moving. The distant sound is heard, as if from the sky, + of a breaking string, dying away sadly. Silence follows it, and only the + sound is heard, some way away in the orchard, of the axe falling on the + trees.] + </p> + <p> + Curtain. + </p> + <br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + + + + + +End of Project Gutenberg’s Plays by Chekhov, Second Series, by Anton Chekhov + +*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK PLAYS BY CHEKHOV, SECOND SERIES *** + +***** This file should be named 7986-h.htm or 7986-h.zip ***** +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: + http://www.gutenberg.org/7/9/8/7986/ + +Produced by James Rusk, Nicole Apostola, and David Widger + + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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Be sure to check the +copyright laws for your country before downloading or redistributing +this or any other Project Gutenberg eBook. + +This header should be the first thing seen when viewing this Project +Gutenberg file. Please do not remove it. Do not change or edit the +header without written permission. + +Please read the "legal small print," and other information about the +eBook and Project Gutenberg at the bottom of this file. Included is +important information about your specific rights and restrictions in +how the file may be used. You can also find out about how to make a +donation to Project Gutenberg, and how to get involved. + + +**Welcome To The World of Free Plain Vanilla Electronic Texts** + +**eBooks Readable By Both Humans and By Computers, Since 1971** + +*****These eBooks Were Prepared By Thousands of Volunteers!***** + + +Title: Plays by Anton Chekhov, Second Series + On the High Road, The Proposal, The Wedding, The Bear, + A Tragedian In Spite of Himself, The Anniversary, + The Three Sisters, The Cherry Orchard + +Author: Anton Chekhov + +Release Date: April, 2005 [EBook #7986] +[Yes, we are more than one year ahead of schedule] +[This file was first posted on June 9, 2003] + +Edition: 10 + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ASCII + +*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK SECOND SERIES PLAYS *** + + + + +Transcribed by James Rusk and Produced for PG by Nicole Apostola + + + + +PLAYS BY ANTON CHEKHOV +SECOND SERIES + +[The First Series Plays have been previously published + in etext numbers: 1753 through 1756] + + +Translated, with an Introduction, by Julius West + + +CONTENTS + +INTRODUCTION +ON THE HIGH ROAD +THE PROPOSAL +THE WEDDING +THE BEAR +A TRAGEDIAN IN SPITE OF HIMSELF +THE ANNIVERSARY +THE THREE SISTERS +THE CHERRY ORCHARD + + + +INTRODUCTION + +The last few years have seen a large and generally unsystematic +mass of translations from the Russian flung at the heads and hearts +of English readers. The ready acceptance of Chekhov has been one of +the few successful features of this irresponsible output. He has +been welcomed by British critics with something like affection. +Bernard Shaw has several times remarked: "Every time I see a play +by Chekhov, I want to chuck all my own stuff into the fire." +Others, having no such valuable property to sacrifice on the altar +of Chekhov, have not hesitated to place him side by side with +Ibsen, and the other established institutions of the new theatre. +For these reasons it is pleasant to be able to chronicle the fact +that, by way of contrast with the casual treatment normally handed +out to Russian authors, the publishers are issuing the complete +dramatic works of this author. In 1912 they brought out a volume +containing four Chekhov plays, translated by Marian Fell. All the +dramatic works not included in her volume are to be found in the +present one. With the exception of Chekhov's masterpiece, "The +Cherry Orchard" (translated by the late Mr. George Calderon in +1912), none of these plays have been previously published in book +form in England or America. + +It is not the business of a translator to attempt to outdo all +others in singing the praises of his raw material. This is a +dangerous process and may well lead, as it led Mr. Calderon, to +drawing the reader's attention to points of beauty not to be found +in the original. A few bibliographical details are equally +necessary, and permissible, and the elementary principles of +Chekhov criticism will also be found useful. + +The very existence of "The High Road" (1884); probably the earliest +of its author's plays, will be unsuspected by English readers. +During Chekhov's lifetime it a sort of family legend, after his +death it became a family mystery. A copy was finally discovered +only last year in the Censor's office, yielded up, and published. +It had been sent in 1885 under the nom-de-plume "A. Chekhonte," and +it had failed to pass. The Censor, of the time being had scrawled +his opinion on the manuscript, "a depressing and dirty piece,-- +cannot be licensed." The name of the gentleman who held this view-- +Kaiser von Kugelgen--gives another reason for the educated +Russian's low opinion of German-sounding institutions. Baron von +Tuzenbach, the satisfactory person in "The Three Sisters," it will +be noted, finds it as well, while he is trying to secure the +favours of Irina, to declare that his German ancestry is fairly +remote. This is by way of parenthesis. "The High Road," found after +thirty years, is a most interesting document to the lover of +Chekhov. Every play he wrote in later years was either a one-act +farce or a four-act drama. [Note: "The Swan Song" may occur as an +exception. This, however, is more of a Shakespeare recitation than +anything else, and so neither here nor there.] + +In "The High Road" we see, in an embryonic form, the whole later +method of the plays--the deliberate contrast between two strong +characters (Bortsov and Merik in this case), the careful +individualization of each person in a fairly large group by way of +an introduction to the main theme, the concealment of the +catastrophe, germ-wise, in the actual character of the characters, +and the of a distinctive group-atmosphere. It need scarcely be +stated that "The High Road" is not a "dirty" piece according to +Russian or to German standards; Chekhov was incapable of writing a +dirty play or story. For the rest, this piece differs from the +others in its presentation, not of Chekhov's favourite middle-classes, +but of the moujik, nourishing, in a particularly stuffy atmosphere, +an intense mysticism and an equally intense thirst for vodka. + +"The Proposal" (1889) and "The Bear" (1890) may be taken as good +examples of the sort of humour admired by the average Russian. The +latter play, in another translation, was put on as a curtain-raiser +to a cinematograph entertainment at a London theatre in 1914; and +had quite a pleasant reception from a thoroughly Philistine +audience. The humour is very nearly of the variety most popular +over here, the psychology is a shade subtler. The Russian novelist +or dramatist takes to psychology as some of his fellow-countrymen +take to drink; in doing this he achieves fame by showing us what we +already know, and at the same time he kills his own creative power. +Chekhov just escaped the tragedy of suicide by introspection, and +was only enabled to do this by the possession of a sense of humour. +That is why we should not regard "The Bear," "The Wedding," or "The +Anniversary" as the work of a merely humorous young man, but as +the saving graces which made perfect "The Cherry Orchard." + +"The Three Sisters" (1901) is said to act better than any other of +Chekhov's plays, and should surprise an English audience +exceedingly. It and "The Cherry Orchard" are the tragedies of doing +nothing. The three sisters have only one desire in the world, to go +to Moscow and live there. There is no reason on earth, economic, +sentimental, or other, why they should not pack their bags and take +the next train to Moscow. But they will not do it. They cannot do +it. And we know perfectly well that if they were transplanted +thither miraculously, they would be extremely unhappy as soon as +ever the excitement of the miracle had worn off. In the other play +Mme. Ranevsky can be saved from ruin if she will only consent to a +perfectly simple step--the sale of an estate. She cannot do this, +is ruined, and thrown out into the unsympathetic world. Chekhov is +the dramatist, not of action, but of inaction. The tragedy of +inaction is as overwhelming, when we understand it, as the tragedy +of an Othello, or a Lear, crushed by the wickedness of others. The +former is being enacted daily, but we do not stage it, we do not +know how. But who shall deny that the base of almost all human +unhappiness is just this inaction, manifesting itself in +slovenliness of thought and execution, education, and ideal? + +The Russian, painfully conscious of his own weakness, has accepted +this point of view, and regards "The Cherry Orchard" as its master-study +in dramatic form. They speak of the palpitating hush which fell +upon the audience of the Moscow Art Theatre after the first fall of +the curtain at the first performance--a hush so intense as to make +Chekhov's friends undergo the initial emotions of assisting at a +vast theatrical failure. But the silence ryes almost a sob, to be +followed, when overcome, by an epic applause. And, a few months +later, Chekhov died. + +This volume and that of Marian Fell--with which it is uniform-- +contain all the dramatic works of Chekhov. It considered not worth +while to translate a few fragments published posthumously, or a +monologue "On the Evils of Tobacco"--a half humorous lecture by +"the husband of his wife;" which begins "Ladies, and in some +respects, gentlemen," as this is hardly dramatic work. There is +also a very short skit on the efficiency of provincial fire +brigades, which was obviously not intended for the stage and has +therefore been omitted. + +Lastly, the scheme of transliteration employed has been that, +generally speaking, recommended by the Liverpool School of Russian +Studies. This is distinctly the best of those in the field, but as +it would compel one, e.g., to write a popular female name, "Marya," +I have not treated it absolute respect. For the sake of uniformity +with Fell's volume, the author's name is spelt Tchekoff on the +title-page and cover. + +J. W. + + + +RUSSIAN WEIGHTS AND MEASURES AND +MONEY EMPLOYED IN THE PLAYS, +WITH ENGLISH EQUIVALENTS + +1 verst = 3600 feet = 2/3 mile (almost) +1 arshin = 28 inches +1 dessiatin = 2.7 acres +1 copeck = 1/4 d +1 rouble = 100 copecks = 2s. 1d. + + + +ON THE HIGH ROAD +A DRAMATIC STUDY + + +CHARACTERS + +TIHON EVSTIGNEYEV, the proprietor of a inn on the main road +SEMYON SERGEYEVITCH BORTSOV, a ruined landowner +MARIA EGOROVNA, his wife +SAVVA, an aged pilgrim +NAZAROVNA and EFIMOVNA, women pilgrims +FEDYA, a labourer +EGOR MERIK, a tramp +KUSMA, a driver +POSTMAN +BORTSOV'S WIFE'S COACHMAN +PILGRIMS, CATTLE-DEALERS, ETC. + +The action takes place in one of the provinces of Southern Russia + +ON THE HIGH ROAD + +[The scene is laid in TIHON'S bar. On the right is the bar-counter +and shelves with bottles. At the back is a door leading out of the +house. Over it, on the outside, hangs a dirty red lantern. The +floor and the forms, which stand against the wall, are closely +occupied by pilgrims and passers-by. Many of them, for lack of +space, are sleeping as they sit. It is late at night. As the +curtain rises thunder is heard, and lightning is seen through the +door.] + +[TIHON is behind the counter. FEDYA is half-lying in a heap on one +of the forms, and is quietly playing on a concertina. Next to him +is BORTSOV, wearing a shabby summer overcoat. SAVVA, NAZAROVNA, and +EFIMOVNA are stretched out on the floor by the benches.] + +EFIMOVNA. [To NAZAROVNA] Give the old man a nudge dear! Can't get +any answer out of him. + +NAZAROVNA. [Lifting the corner of a cloth covering of SAVVA'S face] +Are you alive or are you dead, you holy man? + +SAVVA. Why should I be dead? I'm alive, mother! [Raises himself on +his elbow] Cover up my feet, there's a saint! That's it. A bit more +on the right one. That's it, mother. God be good to us. + +NAZAROVNA. [Wrapping up SAVVA'S feet] Sleep, little father. + +SAVVA. What sleep can I have? If only I had the patience to endure +this pain, mother; sleep's quite another matter. A sinner doesn't +deserve to be given rest. What's that noise, pilgrim-woman? + +NAZAROVNA. God is sending a storm. The wind is wailing, and the +rain is pouring down, pouring down. All down the roof and into the +windows like dried peas. Do you hear? The windows of heaven are +opened ... [Thunder] Holy, holy, holy ... + +FEDYA. And it roars and thunders, and rages, sad there's no end to +it! Hoooo ... it's like the noise of a forest. ... Hoooo. ... The +wind is wailing like a dog. ... [Shrinking back] It's cold! My +clothes are wet, it's all coining in through the open door ... you +might put me through a wringer. ... [Plays softly] My concertina's +damp, and so there's no music for you, my Orthodox brethren, or +else I'd give you such a concert, my word!--Something marvellous! +You can have a quadrille, or a polka, if you like, or some Russian +dance for two. ... I can do them all. In the town, where I was an +attendant at the Grand Hotel, I couldn't make any money, but I did +wonders on my concertina. And, I can play the guitar. + +A VOICE FROM THE CORNER. A silly speech from a silly fool. + +FEDYA. I can hear another of them. [Pause.] + +NAZAROVNA. [To SAVVA] If you'd only lie where it was warm now, +old man, and warm your feet. [Pause.] Old man! Man of God! [Shakes +SAVVA] Are you going to die? + +FEDYA. You ought to drink a little vodka, grandfather. Drink, and +it'll burn, burn in your stomach, and warm up your heart. Drink, +do! + +NAZAROVNA. Don't swank, young man! Perhaps the old man is giving +back his soul to God, or repenting for his sins, and you talk like +that, and play your concertina. ... Put it down! You've no shame! + +FEDYA. And what are you sticking to him for? He can't do anything +and you ... with your old women's talk ... He can't say a word in +reply, and you're glad, and happy because he's listening to your +nonsense. ... You go on sleeping, grandfather; never mind her! Let +her talk, don't you take any notice of her. A woman's tongue is +the devil's broom--it will sweep the good man and the clever man +both out of the house. Don't you mind. ... [Waves his hands] But +it's thin you are, brother of mine! Terrible! Like a dead skeleton! +No life in you! Are you really dying? + +SAVVA. Why should I die? Save me, O Lord, from dying in vain. ... +I'll suffer a little, and then get up with God's help. ... The +Mother of God won't let me die in a strange land. ... I'll die at +home. + +FEDYA. Are you from far off? + +SAVVA. From Vologda. The town itself. ... I live there. + +FEDYA. And where is this Vologda? + +TIHON. The other side of Moscow. ... + +FEDYA. Well, well, well. ... You have come a long way, old man! On +foot? + +SAVVA. On foot, young man. I've been to Tihon of the Don, and I'm +going to the Holy Hills. [Note: On the Donetz, south-east of +Kharkov; a monastery containing a miraculous ikon.] ... From there, +if God wills it, to Odessa. ... They say you can get to Jerusalem +cheap from there, for twenty-ones roubles, they say. ... + +FEDYA. And have you been to Moscow? + +SAVVA. Rather! Five times. ... + +FEDYA. Is it a good town? [Smokes] Well-standing? + +Sews. There are many holy places there, young man. ... Where there +are many holy places it's always a good town. ... + +BORTSOV. [Goes up to the counter, to TIHON] Once more, please! +For the sake of Christ, give it to me! + +FEDYA. The chief thing about a town is that it should be clean. If +it's dusty, it must be watered; if it's dirty, it must be cleaned. +There ought to be big houses ... a theatre ... police ... cabs, +which ... I've lived in a town myself, I understand. + +BORTSOV. Just a little glass. I'll pay you for it later. + +TIHON. That's enough now. + +BORTSOV. I ask you! Do be kind to me! + +TIHON. Get away! + +BORTSOV. You don't understand me. ... Understand me, you fool, if +there's a drop of brain in your peasant's wooden head, that it +isn't I who am asking you, but my inside, using the words you +understand, that's what's asking! My illness is what's asking! +Understand! + +TIHON. We don't understand anything. ... Get back! + +BORTSOV. Because if I don't have a drink at once, just you +understand this, if I don't satisfy my needs, I may commit some +crime. God only knows what I might do! In the time you've kept this +place, you rascal, haven't you seen a lot of drunkards, and haven't +you yet got to understand what they're like? They're diseased! You +can do anything you like to them, but you must give them vodka! +Well, now, I implore you! Please! I humbly ask you! God only knows +how humbly! + +TIHON. You can have the vodka if you pay for it. + +BORTSOV. Where am I to get the money? I've drunk it all! Down to +the ground! What can I give you? I've only got this coat, but I +can't give you that. I've nothing on underneath. ... Would you like +my cap? [Takes it off and gives it to TIHON] + +TIHON. [Looks it over] Hm. ... There are all sorts of caps. ... It +might be a sieve from the holes in it. ... + +FEDYA. [Laughs] A gentleman's cap! You've got to take it off in +front of the mam'selles. How do you do, good-bye! How are you? + +TIHON. [Returns the cap to BORTSOV] I wouldn't give anything for +it. It's muck. + +BORTSOV. If you don't like it, then let me owe you for the drink! +I'll bring in your five copecks on my way back from town. You can +take it and choke yourself with it then! Choke yourself! I hope it +sticks in your throat! [Coughs] I hate you! + +TIHON. [Banging the bar-counter with his fist] Why do you keep on +like that? What a man! What are you here for, you swindler? + +BORTSOV. I want a drink! It's not I, it's my disease! Understand +that! + +TIHON. Don't you make me lose my temper, or you'll soon find +yourself outside! + +BORTSOV. What am I to do? [Retires from the bar-counter] What am I +to do? [Is thoughtful.] + +EFIMOVNA. It's the devil tormenting you. Don't you mind him, sir. +The damned one keeps whispering, "Drink! Drink!" And you answer +him, "I shan't drink! I shan't drink!" He'll go then. + +FEDYA. It's drumming in his head. ... His stomach's leading him +on! [Laughs] Your houour's a happy man. Lie down and go to sleep! +What's the use of standing like a scarecrow in the middle of the +inn! This isn't an orchard! + +BORTSOV. [Angrily] Shut up! Nobody spoke to you, you donkey. + +FEDYA. Go on, go on! We've seen the like of you before! There's a +lot like you tramping the high road! As to being a donkey, you wait +till I've given you a clout on the ear and you'll howl worse than +the wind. Donkey yourself! Fool! [Pause] Scum! + +NAZAROVNA. The old man may be saying a prayer, or giving up his +soul to God, and here are these unclean ones wrangling with one +another and saying all sorts of ... Have shame on yourselves! + +FEDYA. Here, you cabbage-stalk, you keep quiet, even if you are in +a public-house. Just you behave like everybody else. + +BORTSOV. What am I to do? What will become of me? How can I make +him understand? What else can I say to him? [To TIHON] The blood's +boiling in my chest! Uncle Tihon! [Weeps] Uncle Tihon! + +SAWA. [Groans] I've got shooting-pains in my leg, like bullets of +fire. ... Little mother, pilgrim. + +EFIMOVNA. What is it, little father? + +SAVVA. Who's that crying? + +EFIMOVNA. The gentleman. + +SAVVA. Ask him to shed a tear for me, that I might die in Vologda. +Tearful prayers are heard. + +BORTSOV. I'm not praying, grandfather! These aren't tears! Just +juice! My soul is crushed; and the juice is running. [Sits by +SAVVA] Juice! But you wouldn't understand! You, with your darkened +brain, wouldn't understand. You people are all in the dark! + +SAVVA. Where will you find those who live in the light? + +BORTSOV. They do exist, grandfather. ... They would understand! + +SAVVA. Yes, yes, dear friend. ... The saints lived in the light. ... +They understood all our griefs. ... You needn't even tell them. ... +and they'll understand. ... Just by looking at your eyes. ... And +then you'll have such peace, as if you were never in grief at all-- +it will all go! + +FEDYA. And have you ever seen any saints? + +SAVVA. It has happened, young man. ... There are many of all sorts +on this earth. Sinners, and servants of God. + +BORTSOV. I don't understand all this. ... [Gets up quickly] What's +the use of talking when you don't understand, and what sort of a +brain have I now? I've only an instinct, a thirst! [Goes quickly to +the counter] Tihon, take my coat! Understand? [Tries to take it +off] My coat ... + +TIHON. And what is there under your coat? [Looks under it] Your +naked body? Don't take it off, I shan't have it. ... I'm not going +to burden my soul with a sin. + +[Enter MERIK.] + +BORTSOV. Very well, I'll take the sin on myself! Do you agree? + +MERIK. [In silence takes of his outer cloak and remains in a +sleeveless jacket. He carries an axe in his belt] A vagrant may +sweat where a bear will freeze. I am hot. [Puts his axe on the +floor and takes off his jacket] You get rid of a pailful of sweat +while you drag one leg out of the mud. And while you are dragging +it out, the other one goes farther in. + +EFIMOVNA. Yes, that's true ... is the rain stopping, dear? + +MERIK. [Glancing at EFIMOVNA] I don't talk to old women. [A pause.] + +BORTSOV. [To TIHON] I'll take the sin on myself. Do you hear me or +don't you? + +TIHON. I don't want to hear you, get away! + +MERIK. It's as dark as if the sky was painted with pitch. You can't +see your own nose. And the rain beats into your face like a +snowstorm! [Picks up his clothes and axe.] + +FEDYA. It's a good thing for the likes of us thieves. When the +cat's away the mice will play. + +MERIK. Who says that? + +FEDYA. Look and see ... before you forget. + +MERIN. We'll make a note of it. ... [Goes up to TIHON] How do you +do, you with the large face! Don't you remember me. + +TIHON. If I'm to remember every one of you drunkards that walks the +high road, I reckon I'd need ten holes in my forehead. + +MERIK. Just look at me. ... [A pause.] + +TIHON. Oh, yes; I remember. I knew you by your eyes! [Gives him his +hand] Andrey Polikarpov? + +MERIK. I used to be Andrey Polikarpov, but now I am Egor Merik. + +TIHON. Why's that? + +MERIK. I call myself after whatever passport God gives me. I've +been Merik for two months. [Thunder] Rrrr. ... Go on thundering, +I'm not afraid! [Looks round] Any police here? + +TIHON. What are you talking about, making mountains out of mole-hills? ... +The people here are all right ... The police are fast asleep in +their feather beds now. ... [Loudly] Orthodox brothers, mind your +pockets and your clothes, or you'll have to regret it. The man's +a rascal! He'll rob you! + +MERIK. They can look out for their money, but as to their clothes-- +I shan't touch them. I've nowhere to take them. + +TIHON. Where's the devil taking you to? + +MERIK. To Kuban. + +TIHON. My word! + +FEDYA. To Kuban? Really? [Sitting up] It's a fine place. You +wouldn't see such a country, brother, if you were to fall asleep +and dream for three years. They say the birds there, and the beasts +are--my God! The grass grows all the year round, the people are +good, and they've so much land they don't know what to do with it! +The authorities, they say ... a soldier was telling me the other +day ... give a hundred dessiatins ahead. There's happiness, God +strike me! + +MERIK. Happiness. ... Happiness goes behind you. ... You don't see +it. It's as near as your elbow is, but you can't bite it. It's all +silly. ... [Looking round at the benches and the people] Like a lot +of prisoners. ... A poor lot. + +EFIMOVNA. [To MERIK] What great, angry, eyes! There's an enemy in +you, young man. ... Don't you look at us! + +MERIK. Yes, you're a poor lot here. + +EFIMOVNA. Turn away! [Nudges SAVVA] Savva, darling, a wicked man is +looking at us. He'll do us harm, dear. [To MERIK] Turn away, I tell +you, you snake! + +SAVVA. He won't touch us, mother, he won't touch us. ... God won't +let him. + +MERIK. All right, Orthodox brothers! [Shrugs his shoulders] Be +quiet! You aren't asleep, you bandy-legged fools! Why don't you +say something? + +EFIMOVNA. Take your great eyes away! Take away that devil's own +pride! + +MERIK. Be quiet, you crooked old woman! I didn't come with the +devil's pride, but with kind words, wishing to honour your bitter +lot! You're huddled together like flies because of the cold--I'd +be sorry for you, speak kindly to you, pity your poverty, and here +you go grumbling away! [Goes up to FEDYA] Where are you from? + +FEDYA. I live in these parts. I work at the Khamonyevsky brickworks. + +MERIK. Get up. + +FEDYA. [Raising himself] Well? + +MERIK. Get up, right up. I'm going to lie down here. + +FEDYA. What's that. ... It isn't your place, is it? + +MERIK. Yes, mine. Go and lie on the ground! + +FEDYA. You get out of this, you tramp. I'm not afraid of you. + +MERIK. You're very quick with your tongue. ... Get up, and don't +talk about it! You'll be sorry for it, you silly. + +TIHON. [To FEDYA] Don't contradict him, young man. Never mind. + +FEDYA. What right have you? You stick out your fishy eyes and think +I'm afraid! [Picks up his belongings and stretches himself out on +the ground] You devil! [Lies down and covers himself all over.] + +MERIK. [Stretching himself out on the bench] I don't expect you've +ever seen a devil or you wouldn't call me one. Devils aren't like +that. [Lies down, putting his axe next to him.] Lie down, little +brother axe ... let me cover you. + +TIHON. Where did you get the axe from? + +MERIK. Stole it. ... Stole it, and now I've got to fuss over it +like a child with a new toy; I don't like to throw it away, and +I've nowhere to put it. Like a beastly wife. ... Yes. ... [Covering +himself over] Devils aren't like that, brother. + +FEDYA. [Uncovering his head] What are they like? + +MERIK. Like steam, like air. ... Just blow into the air. [Blows] +They're like that, you can't see them. + +A VOICE FROM THE CORNER. You can see them if you sit under a +harrow. + +MERIK. I've tried, but I didn't see any. ... Old women's tales, and +silly old men's, too. ... You won't see a devil or a ghost or a +corpse. ... Our eyes weren't made so that we could see everything. ... +When I was a boy, I used to walk in the woods at night on purpose +to see the demon of the woods. ... I'd shout and shout, and there +might be some spirit, I'd call for the demon of the woods and not +blink my eyes: I'd see all sorts of little things moving about, but +no demon. I used to go and walk about the churchyards at night, I +wanted to see the ghosts--but the women lie. I saw all sorts of +animals, but anything awful--not a sign. Our eyes weren't ... + +THE VOICE FROM THE CORNER. Never mind, it does happen that you do +see. ... In our village a man was gutting a wild boar ... he was +separating the tripe when ... something jumped out at him! + +SAVVA. [Raising himself] Little children, don't talk about these +unclean things! It's a sin, dears! + +MERIK. Aaa ... greybeard! You skeleton! [Laughs] You needn't go to +the churchyard to see ghosts, when they get up from under the floor +to give advice to their relations. ... A sin! ... Don't you teach +people your silly notions! You're an ignorant lot of people living +in darkness. ... [Lights his pipe] My father was peasant and used +to be fond of teaching people. One night he stole a sack of apples +from the village priest, and he brings them along and tells us, +"Look, children, mind you don't eat any apples before Easter, it's +a sin." You're like that. ... You don't know what a devil is, but +you go calling people devils. ... Take this crooked old woman, for +instance. [Points to EFIMOVNA] She sees an enemy in me, but is her +time, for some woman's nonsense or other, she's given her soul to +the devil five times. + +EFIMOVNA. Hoo, hoo, hoo. ... Gracious heavens! [Covers her face] +Little Savva! + +TIHON. What are you frightening them for? A great pleasure! [The +door slams in the wind] Lord Jesus. ... The wind, the wind! + +MERIK. [Stretching himself] Eh, to show my strength! [The door +slams again] If I could only measure myself against the wind! Shall +I tear the door down, or suppose I tear up the inn by the roots! +[Gets up and lies down again] How dull! + +NAZAROVNA. You'd better pray, you heathen! Why are you so restless? + +EFIMOVNA. Don't speak to him, leave him alone! He's looking at us +again. [To MERIK] Don't look at us, evil man! Your eyes are like +the eyes of a devil before cockcrow! + +SAVVA. Let him look, pilgrims! You pray, and his eyes won't do you +any harm. + +BORTSOV. No, I can't. It's too much for my strength! [Goes up to +the counter] Listen, Tihon, I ask you for the last time. ... Just +half a glass! + +TIHON. [Shakes his head] The money! + +BORTSOV. My God, haven't I told you! I've drunk it all! Where am I +to get it? And you won't go broke even if you do let me have a drop +of vodka on tick. A glass of it only costs you two copecks, and it +will save me from suffering! I am suffering! Understand! I'm in +misery, I'm suffering! + +TIHON. Go and tell that to someone else, not to me. ... Go and ask +the Orthodox, perhaps they'll give you some for Christ's sake, if +they feel like it, but I'll only give bread for Christ's sake. + +BORTSOV. You can rob those wretches yourself, I shan't. ... I won't +do it! I won't! Understand? [Hits the bar-counter with his fist] I +won't. [A pause.] Hm ... just wait. ... [Turns to the pilgrim +women] It's an idea, all the same, Orthodox ones! Spare five +copecks! My inside asks for it. I'm ill! + +FEDYA. Oh, you swindler, with your "spare five copecks." Won't you +have some water? + +BORTSOV. How I am degrading myself! I don't want it! I don't want +anything! I was joking! + +MERIK. You won't get it out of him, sir. ... He's a famous +skinflint. ... Wait, I've got a five-copeck piece somewhere. ... +We'll have a glass between us--half each [Searches in his pockets] +The devil ... it's lost somewhere. ... Thought I heard it tinkling +just now in my pocket. ... No; no, it isn't there, brother, it's +your luck! [A pause.] + +BORTSOV. But if I can't drink, I'll commit a crime or I'll kill +myself. ... What shall I do, my God! [Looks through the door] Shall +I go out, then? Out into this darkness, wherever my feet take me. ... + +MERIK. Why don't you give him a sermon, you pilgrims? And you, +Tihon, why don't you drive him out? He hasn't paid you for his +night's accommodation. Chuck him out! Eh, the people are cruel +nowadays. There's no gentleness or kindness in them. ... A savage +people! A man is drowning and they shout to him: "Hurry up and +drown, we've got no time to look at you; we've got to go to work." +As to throwing him a rope--there's no worry about that. ... A rope +would cost money. + +SAVVA. Don't talk, kind man! + +MERIK. Quiet, old wolf! You're a savage race! Herods! Sellers of +your souls! [To TIHON] Come here, take off my boots! Look sharp now! + +TIHON. Eh, he's let himself go I [Laughs] Awful, isn't it. + +MERIK. Go on, do as you're told! Quick now! [Pause] Do you hear me, +or don't you? Am I talking to you or the wall? [Stands up] + +TIHON. Well ... give over. + +MERIK. I want you, you fleecer, to take the boots off me, a poor +tramp. + +TIHON. Well, well ... don't get excited. Here have a glass. ... +Have a drink, now! + +MERIK. People, what do I want? Do I want him to stand me vodka, or +to take off my boots? Didn't I say it properly? [To TIHON] Didn't +you hear me rightly? I'll wait a moment, perhaps you'll hear me then. + +[There is excitement among the pilgrims and tramps, who half-raise +themselves in order to look at TIHON and MERIK. They wait in silence.] + +TIHON. The devil brought you here! [Comes out from behind the bar] +What a gentleman! Come on now. [Takes off MERIK'S boots] You child +of Cain ... + +MERIK. That's right. Put them side by side. ... Like that ... you +can go now! + +TIHON. [Returns to the bar-counter] You're too fond of being +clever. You do it again and I'll turn you out of the inn! Yes! [To +BORTSOV, who is approaching] You, again? + +BORTSOV. Look here, suppose I give you something made of gold. ... +I will give it to you. + +TIHON. What are you shaking for? Talk sense! + +BORTSOV. It may be mean and wicked on my part, but what am I to do? +I'm doing this wicked thing, not reckoning on what's to come. ... +If I was tried for it, they'd let me off. Take it, only on +condition that you return it later, when I come back from town. I +give it to you in front of these witnesses. You will be my +witnesses! [Takes a gold medallion out from the breast of his coat] +Here it is. ... I ought to take the portrait out, but I've nowhere +to put it; I'm wet all over. ... Well, take the portrait, too! Only +mind this ... don't let your fingers touch that face. ... Please ... +I was rude to you, my dear fellow, I was a fool, but forgive me and ... +don't touch it with your fingers. ... Don't look at that face with +your eyes. [Gives TIHON the medallion.] + +TIHON. [Examining it] Stolen property. ... All right, then, drink. ... +[Pours out vodka] Confound you. + +BORTSOV. Only don't you touch it ... with your fingers. [Drinks +slowly, with feverish pauses.] + +TIHON. [Opens the medallion] Hm ... a lady! ... Where did you get +hold of this? + +MERIK. Let's have a look. [Goes to the bar] Let's see. + +TIHON. [Pushes his hand away] Where are you going to? You look +somewhere else! + +FEDYA. [Gets up and comes to TIHON] I want to look too! + +[Several of the tramps, etc., approach the bar and form a group. +MERIK grips TIHON's hand firmly with both his, looks at the +portrait, in the medallion in silence. A pause.] + +MERIK. A pretty she-devil. A real lady. ... + +FEDYA. A real lady. ... Look at her cheeks, her eyes. ... Open your +hand, I can't see. Hair coming down to her waist. ... It is +lifelike! She might be going to say something. ... [Pause.] + +MERIK. It's destruction for a weak man. A woman like that gets a +hold on one and ... [Waves his hand] you're done for! + +[KUSMA'S voice is heard. "Trrr. ... Stop, you brutes!" Enter KUSMA.] + +KUSMA. There stands an inn upon my way. Shall I drive or walk past +it, say? You can pass your own father and not notice him, but you +can see an inn in the dark a hundred versts away. Make way, if you +believe in God! Hullo, there! [Planks a five-copeck piece down on +the counter] A glass of real Madeira! Quick! + +FEDYA. Oh, you devil! + +TIHON. Don't wave your arms about, or you'll hit somebody. + +KUSMA. God gave us arms to wave about. Poor sugary things, you're +half-melted. You're frightened of the rain, poor delicate things. +[Drinks.] + +EFIMOVNA. You may well get frightened, good man, if you're caught +on your way in a night like this. Now, thank God, it's all right, +there are many villages and houses where you can shelter from the +weather, but before that there weren't any. Oh, Lord, it was bad! +You walk a hundred versts, and not only isn't there a village; or a +house, but you don't even see a dry stick. So you sleep on the +ground. ... + +KUSMA. Have you been long on this earth, old woman? + +EFIMOVNA. Over seventy years, little father. + +KUSMA. Over seventy years! You'll soon come to crow's years. [Looks +at BORTSOV] And what sort of a raisin is this? [Staring at BORTSOV] +Sir! [BORTSOV recognizes KUSMA and retires in confusion to a corner +of the room, where he sits on a bench] Semyon Sergeyevitch! Is that +you, or isn't it? Eh? What are you doing in this place? It's not +the sort of place for you, is it? + +BORTSOV. Be quiet! + +MERIK. [To KUSMA] Who is it? + +KUSMA. A miserable sufferer. [Paces irritably by the counter] +Eh? In an inn, my goodness! Tattered! Drunk! I'm upset, brothers ... +upset. ... [To MERIK, in an undertone] It's my master ... our +landlord. Semyon Sergeyevitch and Mr. Bortsov. ... Have you ever +seen such a state? What does he look like? Just ... it's the drink +that brought him to this. ... Give me some more! [Drinks] I come +from his village, Bortsovka; you may have heard of it, it's 200 +versts from here, in the Ergovsky district. We used to be his +father's serfs. ... What a shame! + +MERIK. Was he rich? + +KUSMA. Very. + +MERIK. Did he drink it all? + +KUSMA. No, my friend, it was something else. ... He used to be +great and rich and sober. ... [To TIHON] Why you yourself used to +see him riding, as he used to, past this inn, on his way to the +town. Such bold and noble horses! A carriage on springs, of the +best quality! He used to own five troikas, brother. ... Five years +ago, I remember, he cam here driving two horses from Mikishinsky, +and he paid with a five-rouble piece. ... I haven't the time, he +says, to wait for the change. ... There! + +MERIK. His brain's gone, I suppose. + +KUSMA. His brain's all right. ... It all happened because of his +cowardice! From too much fat. First of all, children, because of a +woman. ... He fell in love with a woman of the town, and it seemed +to him that there wasn't any more beautiful thing in the wide +world. A fool may love as much as a wise man. The girl's people +were all right. ... But she wasn't exactly loose, but just ... +giddy ... always changing her mind! Always winking at one! Always +laughing and laughing. ... No sense at all. The gentry like that, +they think that's nice, but we moujiks would soon chuck her out. ... +Well, he fell in love, and his luck ran out. He began to keep +company with her, one thing led to another ... they used to go out +in a boat all night, and play pianos. ... + +BORTSOV. Don't tell them, Kusma! Why should you? What has my life +got to do with them? + +KUSMA. Forgive me, your honour, I'm only telling them a little ... +what does it matter, anyway. ... I'm shaking all over. Pour out +some more. [Drinks.] + +MERIK. [In a semitone] And did she love him? + +KUSMA. [In a semitone which gradually becomes his ordinary voice] +How shouldn't she? He was a man of means. ... Of course you'll fall +in love when the man has a thousand dessiatins and money to burn. ... +He was a solid, dignified, sober gentleman ... always the same, +like this ... give me your hand [Takes MERIK'S hand] "How do you do +and good-bye, do me the favour." Well, I was going one evening past +his garden--and what a garden, brother, versts of it--I was going +along quietly, and I look and see the two of them sitting on a seat +and kissing each other. [Imitates the sound] He kisses her once, +and the snake gives him back two. ... He was holding her white, +little hand, and she was all fiery and kept on getting closer and +closer, too. ... "I love you," she says. And he, like one of the +damned, walks about from one place to another and brags, the +coward, about his happiness. ... Gives one man a rouble, and two to +another. ... Gives me money for a horse. Let off everybody's debts. ... + +BORTSOV. Oh, why tell them all about it? These people haven't any +sympathy. ... It hurts! + +KUSMA. It's nothing, sir! They asked me! Why shouldn't I tell them? +But if you are angry I won't ... I won't. ... What do I care for +them. ... [Post-bells are heard.] + +FEDYA. Don't shout; tell us quietly. ... + +KUSMA. I'll tell you quietly. ... He doesn't want me to, but it +can't be helped. ... But there's nothing more to tell. They got +married, that's all. There was nothing else. Pour out another drop +for Kusma the stony! [Drinks] I don't like people getting drunk! +Why the time the wedding took place, when the gentlefolk sat down +to supper afterwards, she went off in a carriage ... [Whispers] To +the town, to her lover, a lawyer. ... Eh? What do you think of her +now? Just at the very moment! She would be let off lightly if she +were killed for it! + +MERIK. [Thoughtfully] Well ... what happened then? + +KUSMA. He went mad. ... As you see, he started with a fly, as they +say, and now it's grown to a bumble-bee. It was a fly then, and +now--it's a bumble-bee. ... And he still loves her. Look at him, he +loves her! I expect he's walking now to the town to get a glimpse +of her with one eye. ... He'll get a glimpse of her, and go back. ... + +[The post has driven up to the in.. The POSTMAN enters and has a +drink.] + +TIHON. The post's late to-day! + +[The POSTMAN pays in silence and goes out. The post drives off, the +bells ringing.] + +A VOICE FROM THE CORNER. One could rob the post in weather like +this--easy as spitting. + +MERIK. I've been alive thirty-five years and I haven't robbed the +post once. ... [Pause] It's gone now ... too late, too late. ... + +KUSMA. Do you want to smell the inside of a prison? + +MERIK. People rob and don't go to prison. And if I do go! +[Suddenly] What else? + +KUSMA. Do you mean that unfortunate? + +MERIK. Who else? + +KUSMA. The second reason, brothers, why he was ruined was because +of his brother-in-law, his sister's husband. ... He took it into +his head to stand surety at the bank for 30,000 roubles for his +brother-in-law. The brother-in-law's a thief. ... The swindler +knows which side his bread's buttered and won't budge an inch. ... +So he doesn't pay up. ... So our man had to pay up the whole thirty +thousand. [Sighs] The fool is suffering for his folly. His wife's +got children now by the lawyer and the brother-in-law has bought an +estate near Poltava, and our man goes round inns like a fool, and +complains to the likes of us: "I've lost all faith, brothers! I +can't believe in anybody now!" It's cowardly! Every man has his +grief, a snake that sucks at his heart, and does that mean that he +must drink? Take our village elder, for example. His wife plays +about with the schoolmaster in broad daylight, and spends his money +on drink, .but the elder walks about smiling to himself. He's just +a little thinner ... + +TIHON. [Sighs] When God gives a man strength. ... + +KUSMA. There's all sorts of strength, that's true. ... Well? How +much does it come to? [Pays] Take your pound of flesh! Good-bye, +children! Good-night and pleasant dreams! It's time I hurried off. +I'm bringing my lady a midwife from the hospital. ... She must be +getting wet with waiting, poor thing. ... [Runs out. A pause.] + +TIHON. Oh, you! Unhappy man, come and drink this! [Pours out.] + +BORTSOV. [Comes up to the bar hesitatingly and drinks] That means I +now owe you for two glasses. + +TIHON. You don't owe me anything? Just drink and drown your sorrows! + +FEDYA. Drink mine, too, sir! Oh! [Throws down a five-copeck piece] +If you drink, you die; if you don't drink, you die. It's good not +to drink vodka, but by God you're easier when you've got some! +Vodka takes grief away. ... It is hot! + +BORTSOV. Boo! The heat! + +MERIK. Dive it here! [Takes the medallion from TIHON and examines +her portrait] Hm. Ran off after the wedding. What a woman! + +A VOICE FROM THE CORNER. Pour him out another glass, Tihon. Let him +drink mine, too. + +MERIK. [Dashes the medallion to the ground] Curse her! [Goes +quickly to his place and lies down, face to the wall. General +excitement.] + +BORTSOV. Here, what's that? [Picks up the medallion] How dare you, +you beast? What right have you? [Tearfully] Do you want me to kill +you? You moujik! You boor! + +TIHON. Don't be angry, sir. ... It isn't glass, it isn't +broken. ... Have another drink and go to sleep. [Pours out] Here +I've been listening to you all, and when I ought to have locked up +long ago. [Goes and looks door leading out.] + +BORTSOV. [Drinks] How dare he? The fool! [to MERIK] Do you +understand? You're a fool, a donkey! + +SAVVA. Children! If you please! Stop that talking! What's the good +of making a noise? Let people go to sleep. + +TIHON. Lie down, lie down ... be quiet! [Goes behind the counter +and locks the till] It's time to sleep. + +FEDYA. It's time! [Lies down] Pleasant dreams, brothers! + +MERIK. [Gets up and spreads his short fur and coat the bench] Come +on, lie down, sir. + +TIHON. And where will you sleep. + +MERIK. Oh, anywhere. ... The floor will do. ... [Spreads a coat on +the floor] It's all one to me [Puts the axe by him] It would be +torture for him to sleep on the floor. He's used to silk and down. ... + +TIHON. [To BORTSOV] Lie down, your honour! You've looked at that +portrait long enough. [Puts out a candle] Throw it away! + +BORTSOV. [Swaying about] Where can I lie down? + +TIHON. In the tramp's place! Didn't you hear him giving it up to +you? + +BORTSOV. [Going up to the vacant place] I'm a bit ... drunk ... +after all that. ... Is this it? ... Do I lie down here? Eh? + +TIHON. Yes, yes, lie down, don't be afraid. [Stretches himself out +on the counter.] + +BORTSOV. [Lying down] I'm ... drunk. ... Everything's going round. ... +[Opens the medallion] Haven't you a little candle? [Pause] You're a +queer little woman Masha. ... Looking at me out of the frame and +laughing. ... [Laughs] I'm drunk! And should you laugh at a man +because he's drunk? You look out, as Schastlivtsev says, and ... +love the drunkard. + +FEDYA. How the wind howls. It's dreary! + +BORTSOV. [Laughs] What a woman. ... Why do you keep on going round? +I can't catch you! + +MERIK. He's wandering. Looked too long at the portrait. [Laughs] +What a business! Educated people go and invent all sorts of +machines and medicines, but there hasn't yet been a man wise enough +to invent a medicine against the female sex. ... They try to cure +every sort of disease, and it never occurs to them that more people +die of women than of disease. ... Sly, stingy, cruel, brainless. ... +The mother-in-law torments the bride and the bride makes things +square by swindling the husband ... and there's no end to it. ... + +TIHON. The women have ruffled his hair for him, and so he's +bristly. + +MERIK. It isn't only I. ... From the beginning of the ages, since +the world has been in existence, people have complained. ... It's +not for nothing that in the songs and stories, the devil and the +woman are put side by side. ... Not for nothing! It's half true, at +any rate ... [Pause] Here's the gentleman playing the fool, but I +had more sense, didn't I, when I left my father and mother, and +became a tramp? + +FEDYA. Because of women? + +MERIK. Just like the gentleman ... I walked about like one of the +damned, bewitched, blessing my stars ... on fire day and night, +until at last my eyes were opened ... It wasn't love, but just a +fraud. ... + +FEDYA. What did you do to her? + +MERIK. Never you mind. ... [Pause] Do you think I killed her? ... +I wouldn't do it. ... If you kill, you are sorry for it. ... She +can live and be happy! If only I'd never set eyes on you, or if I +could only forget you, you viper's brood! [A knocking at the door.] + +TIHON. Whom have the devils brought. ... Who's there? [Knocking] +Who knocks? [Gets up and goes to the door] Who knocks? Go away, +we've locked up! + +A VOICE. Please let me in, Tihon. The carriage-spring's broken! Be +a father to me and help me! If I only had a little string to tie it +round with, we'd get there somehow or other. + +TIHON. Who are you? + +THE VOICE. My lady is going to Varsonofyev from the town. ... It's +only five versts farther on . ... Do be a good man and help! + +TIHON. Go and tell the lady that if she pays ten roubles she can +have her string and we'll mend the spring. + +THE VOICE. Have you gone mad, or what? Ten roubles! You mad dog! +Profiting by our misfortunes! + +TIHON. Just as you like. ... You needn't if you don't want to. + +THE VOICE. Very well, wait a bit. [Pause] She says, all right. + +TIHON. Pleased to hear it! + +[Opens door. The COACHMAN enters.] + +COACHMAN. Good evening, Orthodox people! Well, give me the string! +Quick! Who'll go and help us, children? There'll be something left +over for your trouble! + +TIHON. There won't be anything left over. ... Let them sleep, the +two of us can manage. + +COACHMAN. Foo, I am tired! It's cold, and there's not a dry spot in +all the mud. ... Another thing, dear. ... Have you got a little +room in here for the lady to warm herself in? The carriage is all +on one side, she can't stay in it. ... + +TIHON. What does she want a room for? She can warm herself in here, +if she's cold. ... We'll find a place [Clears a space next to +BORTSOV] Get up, get up! Just lie on the floor for an hour, and let +the lady get warm. [To BORTSOV] Get up, your honour! Sit up! +[BORTSOV sits up] Here's a place for you. [Exit COACHMAN.] + +FEDYA. Here's a visitor for you, the devil's brought her! Now +there'll be no sleep before daylight. + +TIHON. I'm sorry I didn't ask for fifteen. ... She'd have given +them. ... [Stands expectantly before the door] You're a delicate +sort of people, I must say. [Enter MARIA EGOROVNA, followed by the +COACHMAN. TIHON bows.] Please, your highness! Our room is very +humble, full of blackbeetles! But don't disdain it! + +MARIA EGOROVNA. I can't see anything. ... Which way do I go? + +TIHON. This way, your highness! [Leads her to the place next to +BORTSOV] This way, please. [Blows on the place] I haven't any +separate rooms, excuse me, but don't you be afraid, madam, the +people here are good and quiet. ... + +MARIA EGOROVNA. [Sits next to BORTSOV] How awfully stuffy! Open the +door, at any rate! + +TIHON. Yes, madam. [Runs and opens the door wide.] + +MARIA. We're freezing, and you open the door! [Gets up and slams +it] Who are you to be giving orders? [Lies down] + +TIHON. Excuse me, your highness, but we've a little fool here ... a +bit cracked. ... But don't you be frightened, he won't do you any +harm. ... Only you must excuse me, madam, I can't do this for ten +roubles. ... Make it fifteen. + +MARIA EGOROVNA. Very well, only be quick. + +TIHON. This minute ... this very instant. [Drags some string out +from under the counter] This minute. [A pause.] + +BORTSOV. [Looking at MARIA EGOROVNA] Marie ... Masha ... + +MARIA EGOROVNA. [Looks at BORTSOV] What's this? + +BORTSOV. Marie ... is it you? Where do you come from? [MARIA +EGOROVNA recognizes BORTSOV, screams and runs off into the centre +of the floor. BORTSOV follows] Marie, it is I ... I [Laughs loudly] +My wife! Marie! Where am I? People, a light! + +MARIA EGOROVNA. Get away from me! You lie, it isn't you! It can't +be! [Covers her face with her hands] It's a lie, it's all nonsense! + +BORTSOV. Her voice, her movements. ... Marie, it is I! I'll stop in +a moment. ... I was drunk. ... My head's going round. ... My God! +Stop, stop. ... I can't understand anything. [Yells] My wife! +[Falls at her feet and sobs. A group collects around the husband +and wife.] + +MARIA EGOROVNA. Stand back! [To the COACHMAN] Denis, let's go! I +can't stop here any longer! + +MERIK. [Jumps up and looks her steadily in the face] The portrait! +[Grasps her hand] It is she! Eh, people, she's the gentleman's +wife! + +MARIA EGOROVNA. Get away, fellow! [Tries to tear her hand away from +him] Denis, why do you stand there staring? [DENIS and TIHON run up +to her and get hold of MERIK'S arms] This thieves' kitchen! Let go +my hand! I'm not afraid! ... Get away from me! + +MERIK. [Note: Throughout this speech, in the original, Merik uses +the familiar second person singular.] Wait a bit, and I'll let go. ... +Just let me say one word to you. ... One word, so that you may +understand. ... Just wait. ... [Turns to TIHON and DENIS] Get away, +you rogues, let go! I shan't let you go till I've had my say! Stop ... +one moment. [Strikes his forehead with his fist] No, God hasn't +given me the wisdom! I can't think of the word for you! + +MARIA EGOROVNA. [Tears away her hand] Get away! Drunkards ... let's +go, Denis! + +[She tries to go out, but MERIK blocks the door.] + +MERIK. Just throw a glance at him, with only one eye if you like! +Or say only just one kind little word to him! God's own sake! + +MARIA EGOROVNA. Take away this ... fool. + +MERIK. Then the devil take you, you accursed woman! + +[He swings his axe. General confusion. Everybody jumps up noisily +and with cries of horror. SAVVA stands between MERIK and MARIA +EGOROVNA. ... DENIS forces MERIK to one side and carries out his +mistress. After this all stand as if turned to stone. A prolonged +pause. BORTSOV suddenly waves his hands in the air.] + +BORTSOV. Marie ... where are you, Marie! + +NAZAROVNA. My God, my God! You've torn up my your murderers! What +an accursed night! + +MERIK. [Lowering his hand; he still holds the axe] Did I kill her +or no? + + HIGH ROAD + +TIHON. Thank God, your head is safe. ... + +MERIK. Then I didn't kill her. ... [Totters to his bed] Fate hasn't +sent me to my death because of a stolen axe. ... [Falls down and +sobs] Woe! Woe is me! Have pity on me, Orthodox people! + +Curtain. + + + +THE PROPOSAL + +CHARACTERS + +STEPAN STEPANOVITCH CHUBUKOV, a landowner +NATALYA STEPANOVNA, his daughter, twenty-five years old +IVAN VASSILEVITCH LOMOV, a neighbour of Chubukov, a large and +hearty, but very suspicious landowner + +The scene is laid at CHUBUKOV's country-house + +THE PROPOSAL + +A drawing-room in CHUBUKOV'S house. + +[LOMOV enters, wearing a dress-jacket and white gloves. CHUBUKOV +rises to meet him.] + +CHUBUKOV. My dear fellow, whom do I see! Ivan Vassilevitch! I am +extremely glad! [Squeezes his hand] Now this is a surprise, my +darling ... How are you? + +LOMOV. Thank you. And how may you be getting on? + +CHUBUKOV. We just get along somehow, my angel, to your prayers, and +so on. Sit down, please do. ... Now, you know, you shouldn't forget +all about your neighbours, my darling. My dear fellow, why are you +so formal in your get-up? Evening dress, gloves, and so on. Can you +be going anywhere, my treasure? + +LOMOV. No, I've come only to see you, honoured Stepan Stepanovitch. + +CHUBUKOV. Then why are you in evening dress, my precious? As if +you're paying a New Year's Eve visit! + +LOMOV. Well, you see, it's like this. [Takes his arm] I've come to +you, honoured Stepan Stepanovitch, to trouble you with a request. +Not once or twice have I already had the privilege of applying to +you for help, and you have always, so to speak ... I must ask your +pardon, I am getting excited. I shall drink some water, honoured +Stepan Stepanovitch. [Drinks.] + +CHUBUKOV. [Aside] He's come to borrow money! Shan't give him any! +[Aloud] What is it, my beauty? + +LOMOV. You see, Honour Stepanitch ... I beg pardon, Stepan +Honouritch ... I mean, I'm awfully excited, as you will please +notice. ... In short, you alone can help me, though I don't deserve +it, of course ... and haven't any right to count on your +assistance. ... + +CHUBUKOV. Oh, don't go round and round it, darling! Spit it out! +Well? + +LOMOV. One moment ... this very minute. The fact is, I've come to +ask the hand of your daughter, Natalya Stepanovna, in marriage. + +CHUBUKOV. [Joyfully] By Jove! Ivan Vassilevitch! Say it again--I +didn't hear it all! + +LOMOV. I have the honour to ask ... + +CHUBUKOV. [Interrupting] My dear fellow ... I'm so glad, and so on. ... +Yes, indeed, and all that sort of thing. [Embraces and kisses +LOMOV] I've been hoping for it for a long time. It's been my +continual desire. [Sheds a tear] And I've always loved you, my +angel, as if you were my own son. May God give you both His help +and His love and so on, and I did so much hope ... What am I +behaving in this idiotic way for? I'm off my balance with joy, +absolutely off my balance! Oh, with all my soul ... I'll go and +call Natasha, and all that. + +LOMOV. [Greatly moved] Honoured Stepan Stepanovitch, do you think I +may count on her consent? + +CHUBUKOV. Why, of course, my darling, and ... as if she won't +consent! She's in love; egad, she's like a love-sick cat, and so +on. ... Shan't be long! [Exit.] + +LOMOV. It's cold ... I'm trembling all over, just as if I'd got an +examination before me. The great thing is, I must have my mind made +up. If I give myself time to think, to hesitate, to talk a lot, to +look for an ideal, or for real love, then I'll never get married. ... +Brr! ... It's cold! Natalya Stepanovna is an excellent housekeeper, +not bad-looking, well-educated. ... What more do I want? But I'm +getting a noise in my ears from excitement. [Drinks] And it's +impossible for me not to marry. ... In the first place, I'm already +35--a critical age, so to speak. In the second place, I ought to +lead a quiet and regular life. ... I suffer from palpitations, I'm +excitable and always getting awfully upset. ... At this very moment +my lips are trembling, and there's a twitch in my right eyebrow. ... +But the very worst of all is the way I sleep. I no sooner get into +bed and begin to go off when suddenly something in my left side-- +gives a pull, and I can feel it in my shoulder and head. ... I jump +up like a lunatic, walk about a bit, and lie down again, but as +soon as I begin to get off to sleep there's another pull! And this +may happen twenty times. ... + +[NATALYA STEPANOVNA comes in.] + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. Well, there! It's you, and papa said, "Go; +there's a merchant come for his goods." How do you do, Ivan +Vassilevitch! + +LOMOV. How do you do, honoured Natalya Stepanovna? + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. You must excuse my apron and nelige ... we're +shelling peas for drying. Why haven't you been here for such a long +time? Sit down. [They seat themselves] Won't you have some lunch? + +LOMOV. No, thank you, I've had some already. + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. Then smoke. ... Here are the matches. ... The +weather is splendid now, but yesterday it was so wet that the +workmen didn't do anything all day. How much hay have you stacked? +Just think, I felt greedy and had a whole field cut, and now I'm +not at all pleased about it because I'm afraid my hay may rot. I +ought to have waited a bit. But what's this? Why, you're in evening +dress! Well, I never! Are you going to a ball, or what?--though I +must say you look better. Tell me, why are you got up like that? + +LOMOV. [Excited] You see, honoured Natalya Stepanovna ... the fact +is, I've made up my mind to ask you to hear me out. ... Of course +you'll be surprised and perhaps even angry, but a ... [Aside] It's +awfully cold! + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. What's the matter? [Pause] Well? + +LOMOV. I shall try to be brief. You must know, honoured Natalya +Stepanovna, that I have long, since my childhood, in fact, had the +privilege of knowing your family. My late aunt and her husband, +from whom, as you know, I inherited my land, always had the +greatest respect for your father and your late mother. The Lomovs +and the Chubukovs have always had the most friendly, and I might +almost say the most affectionate, regard for each other. And, as +you know, my land is a near neighbour of yours. You will remember +that my Oxen Meadows touch your birchwoods. + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. Excuse my interrupting you. You say, "my Oxen +Meadows. ..." But are they yours? + +LOMOV. Yes, mine. + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. What are you talking about? Oxen Meadows are +ours, not yours! + +LOMOV. No, mine, honoured Natalya Stepanovna. + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. Well, I never knew that before. How do you make +that out? + +LOMOV. How? I'm speaking of those Oxen Meadows which are wedged in +between your birchwoods and the Burnt Marsh. + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. Yes, yes. ... They're ours. + +LOMOV. No, you're mistaken, honoured Natalya Stepanovna, they're +mine. + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. Just think, Ivan Vassilevitch! How long have +they been yours? + +LOMOV. How long? As long as I can remember. + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. Really, you won't get me to believe that! + +LOMOV. But you can see from the documents, honoured Natalya +Stepanovna. Oxen Meadows, it's true, were once the subject of +dispute, but now everybody knows that they are mine. There's +nothing to argue about. You see, my aunt's grandmother gave the +free use of these Meadows in perpetuity to the peasants of your +father's grandfather, in return for which they were to make bricks +for her. The peasants belonging to your father's grandfather had +the free use of the Meadows for forty years, and had got into the +habit of regarding them as their own, when it happened that ... + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. No, it isn't at all like that! Both my +grandfather and great-grandfather reckoned that their land extended +to Burnt Marsh--which means that Oxen Meadows were ours. I don't +see what there is to argue about. It's simply silly! + +LOMOV. I'll show you the documents, Natalya Stepanovna! + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. No, you're simply joking, or making fun of me. ... +What a surprise! We've had the land for nearly three hundred years, +and then we're suddenly told that it isn't ours! Ivan Vassilevitch, +I can hardly believe my own ears. ... These Meadows aren't worth much +to me. They only come to five dessiatins [Note: 13.5 acres], and are +worth perhaps 300 roubles [Note: L30.], but I can't stand unfairness. +Say what you will, but I can't stand unfairness. + +LOMOV. Hear me out, I implore you! The peasants of your father's +grandfather, as I have already had the honour of explaining to you, +used to bake bricks for my aunt's grandmother. Now my aunt's +grandmother, wishing to make them a pleasant ... + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. I can't make head or tail of all this about +aunts and grandfathers and grandmothers! The Meadows are ours, and +that's all. + +LOMOV. Mine. + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. Ours! You can go on proving it for two days on +end, you can go and put on fifteen dress-jackets, but I tell you +they're ours, ours, ours! I don't want anything of yours and I +don't want to give up anything of mine. So there! + +LOMOV. Natalya Ivanovna, I don't want the Meadows, but I am acting +on principle. If you like, I'll make you a present of them. + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. I can make you a present of them myself, +because they're mine! Your behaviour, Ivan Vassilevitch, is +strange, to say the least! Up to this we have always thought of you +as a good neighbour, a friend: last year we lent you our +threshing-machine, although on that account we had to put off our +own threshing till November, but you behave to us as if we were +gipsies. Giving me my own land, indeed! No, really, that's not at +all neighbourly! In my opinion, it's even impudent, if you want to +know. ... + +LOMOV. Then you make out that I'm a land-grabber? Madam, never in +my life have I grabbed anybody else's land, and I shan't allow +anybody to accuse me of having done so. ... [Quickly steps to the +carafe and drinks more water] Oxen Meadows are mine! + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. It's not true, they're ours! + +LOMOV. Mine! + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. It's not true! I'll prove it! I'll send my +mowers out to the Meadows this very day! + +LOMOV. What? + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. My mowers will be there this very day! + +LOMOV. I'll give it to them in the neck! + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. You dare! + +LOMOV. [Clutches at his heart] Oxen Meadows are mine! You +understand? Mine! + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. Please don't shout! You can shout yourself +hoarse in your own house, but here I must ask you to restrain +yourself! + +LOMOV. If it wasn't, madam, for this awful, excruciating +palpitation, if my whole inside wasn't upset, I'd talk to you in a +different way! [Yells] Oxen Meadows are mine! + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. Ours! + +LOMOV. Mine! + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. Ours! + +LOMOV. Mine! + +[Enter CHUBUKOV.] + +CHUBUKOV. What's the matter? What are you shouting at? + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. Papa, please tell to this gentleman who owns +Oxen Meadows, we or he? + +CHUBUKOV. [To LOMOV] Darling, the Meadows are ours! + +LOMOV. But, please, Stepan Stepanitch, how can they be yours? Do be +a reasonable man! My aunt's grandmother gave the Meadows for the +temporary and free use of your grandfather's peasants. The peasants +used the land for forty years and got as accustomed to it as if it +was their own, when it happened that ... + +CHUBUKOV. Excuse me, my precious. ... You forget just this, that +the peasants didn't pay your grandmother and all that, because the +Meadows were in dispute, and so on. And now everybody knows that +they're ours. It means that you haven't seen the plan. + +LOMOV. I'll prove to you that they're mine! + +CHUBUKOV. You won't prove it, my darling. + +LOMOV. I shall! + +CHUBUKOV. Dear one, why yell like that? You won't prove anything +just by yelling. I don't want anything of yours, and don't intend +to give up what I have. Why should I? And you know, my beloved, +that if you propose to go on arguing about it, I'd much sooner give +up the meadows to the peasants than to you. There! + +LOMOV. I don't understand! How have you the right to give away +somebody else's property? + +CHUBUKOV. You may take it that I know whether I have the right or +not. Because, young man, I'm not used to being spoken to in that +tone of voice, and so on: I, young man, am twice your age, and ask +you to speak to me without agitating yourself, and all that. + +LOMOV. No, you just think I'm a fool and want to have me on! You +call my land yours, and then you want me to talk to you calmly and +politely! Good neighbours don't behave like that, Stepan +Stepanitch! You're not a neighbour, you're a grabber! + +CHUBUKOV. What's that? What did you say? + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. Papa, send the mowers out to the Meadows at +once! + +CHUBUKOV. What did you say, sir? + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. Oxen Meadows are ours, and I shan't give them +up, shan't give them up, shan't give them up! + +LOMOV. We'll see! I'll have the matter taken to court, and then +I'll show you! + +CHUBUKOV. To court? You can take it to court, and all that! You +can! I know you; you're just on the look-out for a chance to go to +court, and all that. ... You pettifogger! All your people were like +that! All of them! + +LOMOV. Never mind about my people! The Lomovs have all been honourable +people, and not one has ever been tried for embezzlement, like +your grandfather! + +CHUBUKOV. You Lomovs have had lunacy in your family, all of you! + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. All, all, all! + +CHUBUKOV. Your grandfather was a drunkard, and your younger aunt, +Nastasya Mihailovna, ran away with an architect, and so on. + +LOMOV. And your mother was hump-backed. [Clutches at his heart] +Something pulling in my side. ... My head. ... Help! Water! + +CHUBUKOV. Your father was a guzzling gambler! + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. And there haven't been many backbiters to equal +your aunt! + +LOMOV. My left foot has gone to sleep. ... You're an intriguer. ... +Oh, my heart! ... And it's an open secret that before the last +elections you bri ... I can see stars. ... Where's my hat? + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. It's low! It's dishonest! It's mean! + +CHUBUKOV. And you're just a malicious, double-faced intriguer! Yes! + +LOMOV. Here's my hat. ... My heart! ... Which way? Where's the +door? Oh! ... I think I'm dying. ... My foot's quite numb. ... +[Goes to the door.] + +CHUBUKOV. [Following him] And don't set foot in my house again! + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. Take it to court! We'll see! + +[LOMOV staggers out.] + +CHUBUKOV. Devil take him! [Walks about in excitement.] + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. What a rascal! What trust can one have in one's +neighbours after that! + +CHUBUKOV. The villain! The scarecrow! + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. The monster! First he takes our land and then +he has the impudence to abuse us. + +CHUBUKOV. And that blind hen, yes, that turnip-ghost has the +confounded cheek to make a proposal, and so on! What? A proposal! + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. What proposal? + +CHUBUKOV. Why, he came here so as to propose to you. + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. To propose? To me? Why didn't you tell me so +before? + +CHUBUKOV. So he dresses up in evening clothes. The stuffed sausage! +The wizen-faced frump! + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. To propose to me? Ah! [Falls into an easy-chair +and wails] Bring him back! Back! Ah! Bring him here. + +CHUBUKOV. Bring whom here? + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. Quick, quick! I'm ill! Fetch him! [Hysterics.] + +CHUBUKOV. What's that? What's the matter with you? [Clutches at his +head] Oh, unhappy man that I am! I'll shoot myself! I'll hang +myself! We've done for her! + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. I'm dying! Fetch him! + +CHUBUKOV. Tfoo! At once. Don't yell! + +[Runs out. A pause. NATALYA STEPANOVNA wails.] + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. What have they done to me! Fetch him back! +Fetch him! [A pause.] + +[CHUBUKOV runs in.] + +CHUBUKOV. He's coming, and so on, devil take him! Ouf! Talk to him +yourself; I don't want to. ... + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. [Wails] Fetch him! + +CHUBUKOV. [Yells] He's coming, I tell you. Oh, what a burden, Lord, +to be the father of a grown-up daughter! I'll cut my throat! I +will, indeed! We cursed him, abused him, drove him out, and it's +all you ... you! + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. No, it was you! + +CHUBUKOV. I tell you it's not my fault. [LOMOV appears at the door] +Now you talk to him yourself [Exit.] + +[LOMOV enters, exhausted.] + +LOMOV. My heart's palpitating awfully. ... My foot's gone to sleep. ... +There's something keeps pulling in my side. + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. Forgive us, Ivan Vassilevitch, we were all a +little heated. ... I remember now: Oxen Meadows really are yours. + +LOMOV. My heart's beating awfully. ... My Meadows. ... My eyebrows +are both twitching. ... + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. The Meadows are yours, yes, yours. ... Do sit +down. ... [They sit] We were wrong. ... + +LOMOV. I did it on principle. ... My land is worth little to me, +but the principle ... + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. Yes, the principle, just so. ... Now let's talk +of something else. + +LOMOV. The more so as I have evidence. My aunt's grandmother gave +the land to your father's grandfather's peasants ... + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. Yes, yes, let that pass. ... [Aside] I wish I +knew how to get him started. ... [Aloud] Are you going to start +shooting soon? + +LOMOV. I'm thinking of having a go at the blackcock, honoured +Natalya Stepanovna, after the harvest. Oh, have you heard? Just +think, what a misfortune I've had! My dog Guess, whom you know, has +gone lame. + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. What a pity! Why? + +LOMOV. I don't know. ... Must have got twisted, or bitten by some +other dog. ... [Sighs] My very best dog, to say nothing of the +expense. I gave Mironov 125 roubles for him. + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. It was too much, Ivan Vassilevitch. + +LOMOV. I think it was very cheap. He's a first-rate dog. + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. Papa gave 85 roubles for his Squeezer, and +Squeezer is heaps better than Guess! + +LOMOV. Squeezer better than. Guess? What an idea! [Laughs] Squeezer +better than Guess! + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. Of course he's better! Of course, Squeezer is +young, he may develop a bit, but on points and pedigree he's better +than anything that even Volchanetsky has got. + +LOMOV. Excuse me, Natalya Stepanovna, but you forget that he is +overshot, and an overshot always means the dog is a bad hunter! + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. Overshot, is he? The first time I hear it! + +LOMOV. I assure you that his lower jaw is shorter than the upper. + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. Have you measured? + +LOMOV. Yes. He's all right at following, of course, but if you want +him to get hold of anything ... + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. In the first place, our Squeezer is a +thoroughbred animal, the son of Harness and Chisels, while there's +no getting at the pedigree of your dog at all. ... He's old and as +ugly as a worn-out cab-horse. + +LOMOV. He is old, but I wouldn't take five Squeezers for him. ... +Why, how can you? ... Guess is a dog; as for Squeezer, well, it's +too funny to argue. ... Anybody you like has a dog as good as +Squeezer ... you may find them under every bush almost. Twenty-five +roubles would be a handsome price to pay for him. + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. There's some demon of contradiction in you +to-day, Ivan Vassilevitch. First you pretend that the Meadows are +yours; now, that Guess is better than Squeezer. I don't like people +who don't say what they mean, because you know perfectly well that +Squeezer is a hundred times better than your silly Guess. Why do +you want to say it isn't? + +LOMOV. I see, Natalya Stepanovna, that you consider me either blind +or a fool. You must realize that Squeezer is overshot! + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. It's not true. + +LOMOV. He is! + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. It's not true! + +LOMOV. Why shout, madam? + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. Why talk rot? It's awful! It's time your Guess +was shot, and you compare him with Squeezer! + +LOMOV. Excuse me; I cannot continue this discussion: my heart is +palpitating. + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. I've noticed that those hunters argue most who +know least. + +LOMOV. Madam, please be silent. ... My heart is going to pieces. ... +[Shouts] Shut up! + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. I shan't shut up until you acknowledge that +Squeezer is a hundred times better than your Guess! + +LOMOV. A hundred times worse! Be hanged to your Squeezer! His +head ... eyes ... shoulder ... + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. There's no need to hang your silly Guess; he's +half-dead already! + +LOMOV. [Weeps] Shut up! My heart's bursting! + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. I shan't shut up. + +[Enter CHUBUKOV.] + +CHUBUKOV. What's the matter now? + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. Papa, tell us truly, which is the better dog, +our Squeezer or his Guess. + +LOMOV. Stepan Stepanovitch, I implore you to tell me just one +thing: is your Squeezer overshot or not? Yes or no? + +CHUBUKOV. And suppose he is? What does it matter? He's the best dog +in the district for all that, and so on. + +LOMOV. But isn't my Guess better? Really, now? + +CHUBUKOV. Don't excite yourself, my precious one. ... Allow me. ... +Your Guess certainly has his good points. ... He's pure-bred, firm +on his feet, has well-sprung ribs, and all that. But, my dear man, +if you want to know the truth, that dog has two defects: he's old +and he's short in the muzzle. + +LOMOV. Excuse me, my heart. ... Let's take the facts. ... You will +remember that on the Marusinsky hunt my Guess ran neck-and-neck +with the Count's dog, while your Squeezer was left a whole verst +behind. + +CHUBUKOV. He got left behind because the Count's whipper-in hit him +with his whip. + +LOMOV. And with good reason. The dogs are running after a fox, when +Squeezer goes and starts worrying a sheep! + +CHUBUKOV. It's not true! ... My dear fellow, I'm very liable to +lose my temper, and so, just because of that, let's stop arguing. +You started because everybody is always jealous of everybody else's +dogs. Yes, we're all like that! You too, sir, aren't blameless! You +no sooner notice that some dog is better than your Guess than you +begin with this, that ... and the other ... and all that. ... I +remember everything! + +LOMOV. I remember too! + +CHUBUKOV. [Teasing him] I remember, too. ... What do you remember? + +LOMOV. My heart ... my foot's gone to sleep. ... I can't ... + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. [Teasing] My heart. ... What sort of a hunter +are you? You ought to go and lie on the kitchen oven and catch +blackbeetles, not go after foxes! My heart! + +CHUBUKOV. Yes really, what sort of a hunter are you, anyway? You +ought to sit at home with your palpitations, and not go tracking +animals. You could go hunting, but you only go to argue with people +and interfere with their dogs and so on. Let's change the subject +in case I lose my temper. You're not a hunter at all, anyway! + +LOMOV. And are you a hunter? You only go hunting to get in with the +Count and to intrigue. ... Oh, my heart! ... You're an intriguer! + +CHUBUKOV. What? I an intriguer? [Shouts] Shut up! + +LOMOV. Intriguer! + +CHUBUKOV. Boy! Pup! + +LOMOV. Old rat! Jesuit! + +CHUBUKOV. Shut up or I'll shoot you like a partridge! You fool! + +LOMOV. Everybody knows that--oh my heart!--your late wife used to +beat you. ... My feet ... temples ... sparks. ... I fall, I fall! + +CHUBUKOV. And you're under the slipper of your housekeeper! + +LOMOV. There, there, there ... my heart's burst! My shoulder's come +off. ... Where is my shoulder? I die. [Falls into an armchair] A +doctor! [Faints.] + +CHUBUKOV. Boy! Milksop! Fool! I'm sick! [Drinks water] Sick! + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. What sort of a hunter are you? You can't even sit +on a horse! [To her father] Papa, what's the matter with him? Papa! +Look, papa! [Screams] Ivan Vassilevitch! He's dead! + +CHUBUKOV. I'm sick! ... I can't breathe! ... Air! + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. He's dead. [Pulls LOMOV'S sleeve] Ivan Vassilevitch! +Ivan Vassilevitch! What have you done to me? He's dead. [Falls into +an armchair] A doctor, a doctor! [Hysterics.] + +CHUBUKOV. Oh! ... What is it? What's the matter? + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. [Wails] He's dead ... dead! + +CHUBUKOV. Who's dead? [Looks at LOMOV] So he is! My word! Water! A +doctor! [Lifts a tumbler to LOMOV'S mouth] Drink this! ... No, he +doesn't drink. ... It means he's dead, and all that. ... I'm the most +unhappy of men! Why don't I put a bullet into my brain? Why haven't I +cut my throat yet? What am I waiting for? Give me a knife! Give me a +pistol! [LOMOV moves] He seems to be coming round. ... Drink some water! +That's right. ... + +LOMOV. I see stars ... mist. ... Where am I? + +CHUBUKOV. Hurry up and get married and--well, to the devil with you! +She's willing! [He puts LOMOV'S hand into his daughter's] She's willing +and all that. I give you my blessing and so on. Only leave me in peace! + +LOMOV. [Getting up] Eh? What? To whom? + +CHUBUKOV. She's willing! Well? Kiss and be damned to you! + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. [Wails] He's alive. . . Yes, yes, I'm willing. ... + +CHUBUKOV. Kiss each other! + +LOMOV. Eh? Kiss whom? [They kiss] Very nice, too. Excuse me, what's +it all about? Oh, now I understand ... my heart ... stars ... I'm happy. +Natalya Stepanovna. ... [Kisses her hand] My foot's gone to sleep. ... + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. I ... I'm happy too. ... + +CHUBUKOV. What a weight off my shoulders. ... Ouf! + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. But ... still you will admit now that Guess is +worse than Squeezer. + +LOMOV. Better! + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. Worse! + +CHUBUKOV. Well, that's a way to start your family bliss! Have some +champagne! + +LOMOV. He's better! + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. Worse! worse! worse! + +CHUBUKOV. [Trying to shout her down] Champagne! Champagne! + +Curtain. + + + +THE WEDDING + + +CHARACTERS + +EVDOKIM ZAHAROVITCH ZHIGALOV, a retired Civil Servant. +NASTASYA TIMOFEYEVNA, his wife +DASHENKA, their daughter +EPAMINOND MAXIMOVITCH APLOMBOV, Dashenka's bridegroom +FYODOR YAKOVLEVITCH REVUNOV-KARAULOV, a retired captain +ANDREY ANDREYEVITCH NUNIN, an insurance agent +ANNA MARTINOVNA ZMEYUKINA, a midwife, aged 30, in a brilliantly red dress +IVAN MIHAILOVITCH YATS, a telegraphist +HARLAMPI SPIRIDONOVITCH DIMBA, a Greek confectioner +DMITRI STEPANOVITCH MOZGOVOY, a sailor of the Imperial Navy (Volunteer +Fleet) +GROOMSMEN, GENTLEMEN, WAITERS, ETC. + +The scene is laid in one of the rooms of Andronov's Restaurant + + +THE WEDDING + + +[A brilliantly illuminated room. A large table, laid for supper. +Waiters in dress-jackets are fussing round the table. An orchestra +behind the scene is playing the music of the last figure of a +quadrille.] + +[ANNA MARTINOVNA ZMEYUKINA, YATS, and a GROOMSMAN cross the stage.] + +ZMEYUKINA. No, no, no! + +YATS. [Following her] Have pity on us! Have pity! + +ZMEYUKINA. No, no, no! + +GROOMSMAN. [Chasing them] You can't go on like this! Where are you +off to? What about the _grand ronde? Grand ronde, s'il vous plait_! +[They all go off.] + +[Enter NASTASYA TIMOFEYEVNA and APLOMBOV.] + +NASTASYA TIMOFEYEVNA. You had much better be dancing than upsetting +me with your speeches. + +APLOMBOV. I'm not a Spinosa or anybody of that sort, to go making +figures-of-eight with my legs. I am a serious man, and I have a +character, and I see no amusement in empty pleasures. But it isn't +just a matter of dances. You must excuse me, maman, but there is a +good deal in your behaviour which I am unable to understand. For +instance, in addition to objects of domestic importance, you +promised also to give me, with your daughter, two lottery tickets. +Where are they? + +NASTASYA TIMOFEYEVNA. My head's aching a little ... I expect it's +on account of the weather. ... If only it thawed! + +APLOMBOV. You won't get out of it like that. I only found out to-day +that those tickets are in pawn. You must excuse me, _maman_, but +it's only swindlers who behave like that. I'm not doing this out of +egoisticism [Note: So in the original]--I don't want your tickets-- +but on principle; and I don't allow myself to be done by anybody. I +have made your daughter happy, and if you don't give me the tickets +to-day I'll make short work of her. I'm an honourable man! + +NASTASYA TIMOFEYEVNA. [Looks round the table and counts up the +covers] One, two, three, four, five ... + +A WAITER. The cook asks if you would like the ices served with rum, +madeira, or by themselves? + +APLOMBOV. With rum. And tell the manager that there's not enough +wine. Tell him to prepare some more Haut Sauterne. [To NASTASYA +TIMOFEYEVNA] You also promised and agreed that a general was to be +here to supper. And where is he? + +NASTASYA TIMOFEYEVNA. That isn't my fault, my dear. + +APLOMBOV. Whose fault, then? + +NASTASYA TIMOFEYEVNA. It's Andrey Andreyevitch's fault. ... +Yesterday he came to see us and promised to bring a perfectly real +general. [Sighs] I suppose he couldn't find one anywhere, or he'd +have brought him. ... You think we don't mind? We'd begrudge our +child nothing. A general, of course ... + +APLOMBOV. But there's more. ... Everybody, including yourself, +_maman_, is aware of the fact that Yats, that telegraphist, was +after Dashenka before I proposed to her. Why did you invite him? +Surely you knew it would be unpleasant for me? + +NASTASYA TIMOFEYEVNA. Oh, how can you? Epaminond Maximovitch was +married himself only the other day, and you've already tired me and +Dashenka out with your talk. What will you be like in a year's +time? You are horrid, really horrid. + +APLOMBOV. Then you don't like to hear the truth? Aha! Oh, oh! Then +behave honourably. I only want you to do one thing, be honourable! + +[Couples dancing the _grand ronde_ come in at one door and out at +the other end. The first couple are DASHENKA with one of the +GROOMSMEN. The last are YATS and ZMEYUKINA. These two remain +behind. ZHIGALOV and DIMBA enter and go up to the table.] + +GROOMSMAN. [Shouting] Promenade! Messieurs, promenade! [Behind] +Promenade! + +[The dancers have all left the scene.] + +YATS. [To ZMEYUKINA] Have pity! Have pity, adorable Anna +Martinovna. + +ZMEYUKINA. Oh, what a man! ... I've already told you that I've no +voice to-day. + +YATS. I implore you to sing! Just one note! Have pity! Just one +note! + +ZMEYUKINA. I'm tired of you. ... [Sits and fans herself.] + +YATS. No, you're simply heartless! To be so cruel--if I may express +myself--and to have such a beautiful, beautiful voice! With such a +voice, if you will forgive my using the word, you shouldn't be a +midwife, but sing at concerts, at public gatherings! For example, +how divinely you do that _fioritura_ ... that ... [Sings] "I loved +you; love was vain then. ..." Exquisite! + +ZMEYUKINA. [Sings] "I loved you, and may love again." Is that it? + +YATS. That's it! Beautiful! + +ZMEYUKINA. No, I've no voice to-day. ... There, wave this fan for +me ... it's hot! [To APLOMBOV] Epaminond Maximovitch, why are you +so melancholy? A bridegroom shouldn't be! Aren't you ashamed of +yourself, you wretch? Well, what are you so thoughtful about? + +APLOMBOV. Marriage is a serious step! Everything must be considered +from all sides, thoroughly. + +ZMEYUKINA. What beastly sceptics you all are! I feel quite +suffocated with you all around. ... Give me atmosphere! Do you +hear? Give me atmosphere! [Sings a few notes.] + +YATS. Beautiful! Beautiful! + +ZMEYUKINA. Fan me, fan me, or I feel I shall have a heart attack in +a minute. Tell me, please, why do I feel so suffocated? + +YATS. It's because you're sweating. ... + +ZMEYUKINA. Foo, how vulgar you are! Don't dare to use such words! + +YATS. Beg pardon! Of course, you're used, if I may say so, to +aristocratic society and. ... + +ZMEYUKINA. Oh, leave me alone! Give me poetry, delight! Fan me, fan +me! + +ZHIGALOV. [To DIMBA] Let's have another, what? [Pours out] One can +always drink. So long only, Harlampi Spiridonovitch, as one doesn't +forget one's business. Drink and be merry. ... And if you can drink +at somebody else's expense, then why not drink? You can drink. ... +Your health! [They drink] And do you have tigers in Greece? + +DIMBA. Yes. + +ZHIGALOV. And lions? + +DIMBA. And lions too. In Russia zere's nussing, and in Greece +zere's everysing--my fazer and uncle and brozeres--and here zere's +nussing. + +ZHIGALOV. H'm. ... And are there whales in Greece? + +DIMBA. Yes, everysing. + +NASTASYA TIMOFEYEVNA. [To her husband] What are they all eating and +drinking like that for? It's time for everybody to sit down to +supper. Don't keep on shoving your fork into the lobsters. ... +They're for the general. He may come yet. ... + +ZHIGALOV. And are there lobsters in Greece? + +DIMBA. Yes ... zere is everysing. + +ZHIGALOV. Hm. ... And Civil Servants. + +ZMEYUKINA. I can imagine what the atmosphere is like in Greece! + +ZHIGALOV. There must be a lot of swindling. The Greeks are just +like the Armenians or gipsies. They sell you a sponge or a goldfish +and all the time they are looking out for a chance of getting +something extra out of you. Let's have another, what? + +NASTASYA TIMOFEYEVNA. What do you want to go on having another for? +It's time everybody sat down to supper. It's past eleven. + +ZHIGALOV. If it's time, then it's time. Ladies and gentlemen, +please! [Shouts] Supper! Young people! + +NASTASYA TIMOFEYEVNA. Dear visitors, please be seated! + +ZMEYUKINA. [Sitting down at the table] Give me poetry. + "And he, the rebel, seeks the storm, + As if the storm can give him peace." +Give me the storm! + +YATS. [Aside] Wonderful woman! I'm in love! Up to my ears! + +[Enter DASHENKA, MOZGOVOY, GROOMSMEN, various ladies and gentlemen, +etc. They all noisily seat themselves at the table. There is a +minute's pause, while the band plays a march.] + +MOZGOVOY. [Rising] Ladies and gentlemen! I must tell you this. ... +We are going to have a great many toasts and speeches. Don't let's +wait, but begin at once. Ladies and gentlemen, the newly married! + +[The band plays a flourish. Cheers. Glasses are touched. APLOMBOV +and DASHENKA kiss each other.] + +YATS. Beautiful! Beautiful! I must say, ladies and gentlemen, +giving honour where it is due, that this room and the accommodation +generally are splendid! Excellent, wonderful! Only you know, +there's one thing we haven't got--electric light, if I may say so! +Into every country electric light has already been introduced, only +Russia lags behind. + +ZHIGALOV. [Meditatively] Electricity ... h'm. ... In my opinion +electric lighting is just a swindle. ... They put a live coal in +and think you don't see them! No, if you want a light, then you +don't take a coal, but something real, something special, that you +can get hold of! You must have a fire, you understand, which is +natural, not just an invention! + +YATS. If you'd ever seen an electric battery, and how it's made up, +you'd think differently. + +ZHIGALOV. Don't want to see one. It's a swindle, a fraud on the +public. ... They want to squeeze our last breath out of us. ... We +know then, these ... And, young man, instead of defending a +swindle, you would be much better occupied if you had another +yourself and poured out some for other people--yes! + +APLOMBOV. I entirely agree with you, papa. Why start a learned +discussion? I myself have no objection to talking about every +possible scientific discovery, but this isn't the time for all that! +[To DASHENKA] What do you think, _ma chere_? + +DASHENKA. They want to show how educated they are, and so they +always talk about things we can't understand. + +NASTASYA TIMOFEYEVNA. Thank God, we've lived our time without being +educated, and here we are marrying off our third daughter to an +honest man. And if you think we're uneducated, then what do you +want to come here for? Go to your educated friends! + +YATS. I, Nastasya Timofeyevna, have always held your family in +respect, and if I did start talking about electric lighting it +doesn't mean that I'm proud. I'll drink, to show you. I have always +sincerely wished Daria Evdokimovna a good husband. In these days, +Nastasya Timofeyevna, it is difficult to find a good husband. +Nowadays everybody is on the look-out for a marriage where there is +profit, money. ... + +APLOMBOV. That's a hint! + +YATS. [His courage failing] I wasn't hinting at anything. ... +Present company is always excepted. ... I was only in general. ... +Please! Everybody knows that you're marrying for love ... the dowry +is quite trifling. + +NASTASYA TIMOFEYEVNA. No, it isn't trifling! You be careful what +you say. Besides a thousand roubles of good money, we're giving +three dresses, the bed, and all the furniture. You won't find +another dowry like that in a hurry! + +YATS. I didn't mean ... The furniture's splendid, of course, and ... +and the dresses, but I never hinted at what they are getting +offended at. + +NASTASYA TIMOFEYEVNA. Don't you go making hints. We respect you on +account of your parents, and we've invited you to the wedding, and +here you go talking. If you knew that Epaminond Maximovitch was +marrying for profit, why didn't you say so before? [Tearfully] I +brought her up, I fed her, I nursed her. ... I cared for her more +than if she was an emerald jewel, my little girl. ... + +APLOMBOV. And you go and believe him? Thank you so much! I'm very +grateful to you! [To YATS] And as for you, Mr. Yats, although you +are acquainted with me, I shan't allow you to behave like this in +another's house. Please get out of this! + +YATS. What do you mean? + +APLOMBOV. I want you to be as straightforward as I am! In short, +please get out! [Band plays a flourish] + +THE GENTLEMEN. Leave him alone! Sit down! Is it worth it! Let him +be! Stop it now! + +YATS. I never ... I ... I don't understand. ... Please, I'll go. ... +Only you first give me the five roubles which you borrowed from +me last year on the strength of a _pique_ waistcoat, if I may say +so. Then I'll just have another drink and ... go, only give me the +money first. + +VARIOUS GENTLEMEN. Sit down! That's enough! Is it worth it, just +for such trifles? + +A GROOMSMAN. [Shouts] The health of the bride's parents, Evdokim +Zaharitch and Nastasya Timofeyevna! [Band plays a flourish. +Cheers.] + +ZHIGALOV. [Bows in all directions, in great emotion] I thank you! +Dear guests! I am very grateful to you for not having forgotten and +for having conferred this honour upon us without being standoffish +And you must not think that I'm a rascal, or that I'm trying to +swindle anybody. I'm speaking from my heart--from the purity of my +soul! I wouldn't deny anything to good people! We thank you very +humbly! [Kisses.] + +DASHENKA. [To her mother] Mama, why are you crying? I'm so happy! + +APLOMBOV. _Maman_ is disturbed at your coming separation. But I +should advise her rather to remember the last talk we had. + +YATS. Don't cry, Nastasya Timofeyevna! Just think what are human +tears, anyway? Just petty psychiatry, and nothing more! + +ZMEYUKINA. And are there any red-haired men in Greece? + +DIMBA. Yes, everysing is zere. + +ZHIGALOV. But you don't have our kinds of mushroom. + +DIMBA. Yes, we've got zem and everysing. + +MOZGOVOY. Harlampi Spiridonovitch, it's your turn to speak! Ladies +and gentlemen, a speech! + +ALL. [To DIMBA] Speech! speech! Your turn! + +DIMBA. Why? I don't understand. ... What is it! + +ZMEYUKINA. No, no! You can't refuse! It's you turn! Get up! + +DIMBA. [Gets up, confused] I can't say what ... Zere's Russia and +zere's Greece. Zere's people in Russia and people in Greece. ... +And zere's people swimming the sea in karavs, which mean sips, and +people on the land in railway trains. I understand. We are Greeks +and you are Russians, and I want nussing. ... I can tell you ... +zere's Russia and zere's Greece ... + +[Enter NUNIN.] + +NUNIN. Wait, ladies and gentlemen, don't eat now! Wait! Just one +minute, Nastasya Timofeyevna! Just come here, if you don't mind! +[Takes NASTASYA TIMOFEYEVNA aside, puffing] Listen ... The +General's coming ... I found one at last. ... I'm simply worn out. ... +A real General, a solid one--old, you know, aged perhaps eighty, or +even ninety. + +NASTASYA TIMOFEYEVNA. When is he coming? + +NUNIN. This minute. You'll be grateful to me all your life. [Note: +A few lines have been omitted: they refer to the "General's" rank +and its civil equivalent in words for which the English language +has no corresponding terms. The "General" is an ex-naval officer, a +second-class captain.] + +NASTASYA TIMOFEYEVNA. You're not deceiving me, Andrey darling? + +NUNIN. Well, now, am I a swindler? You needn't worry! + +NASTASYA TIMOFEYEVNA. [Sighs] One doesn't like to spend money for +nothing, Andrey darling! + +NUNIN. Don't you worry! He's not a general, he's a dream! [Raises +his voice] I said to him: "You've quite forgotten us, your +Excellency! It isn't kind of your Excellency to forget your old +friends! Nastasya Timofeyevna," I said to him, "she's very annoyed +with you about it!" [Goes and sits at the table] And he says to me: +"But, my friend, how can I go when I don't know the bridegroom?" +"Oh, nonsense, your excellency, why stand on ceremony? The +bridegroom," I said to him, "he's a fine fellow, very free and +easy. He's a valuer," I said, "at the Law courts, and don't you +think, your excellency, that he's some rascal, some knave of +hearts. Nowadays," I said to him, "even decent women are employed +at the Law courts." He slapped me on the shoulder, we smoked a +Havana cigar each, and now he's coming. ... Wait a little, ladies +and gentlemen, don't eat. ... + +APLOMBOV. When's he coming? + +NUNIN. This minute. When I left him he was already putting on his +goloshes. Wait a little, ladies and gentlemen, don't eat yet. + +APLOMBOV. The band should be told to play a march. + +NUNIN. [Shouts] Musicians! A march! [The band plays a march for a +minute.] + +A WAITER. Mr. Revunov-Karaulov! + +[ZHIGALOV, NASTASYA TIMOFEYEVNA, and NUNIN run to meet him. Enter +REVUNOV-KARAULOV.] + +NASTASYA TIMOFEYEVNA. [Bowing] Please come in, your excellency! So +glad you've come! + +REVUNOV. Awfully! + +ZHIGALOV. We, your excellency, aren't celebrities, we aren't +important, but quite ordinary, but don't think on that account that +there's any fraud. We put good people into the best place, we +begrudge nothing. Please! + +REVUNOV. Awfully glad! + +NUNIN. Let me introduce to you, your excellency, the bridegroom, +Epaminond Maximovitch Aplombov, with his newly born ... I mean his +newly married wife! Ivan Mihailovitch Yats, employed on the +telegraph! A foreigner of Greek nationality, a confectioner by +trade, Harlampi Spiridonovitch Dimba! Osip Lukitch Babelmandebsky! +And so on, and so on. ... The rest are just trash. Sit down, your +excellency! + +REVUNOV. Awfully! Excuse me, ladies and gentlemen, I just want to +say two words to Andrey. [Takes NUNIN aside] I say, old man, I'm a +little put out. ... Why do you call me your excellency? I'm not a +general! I don't rank as the equivalent of a colonel, even. + +NUNIN. [Whispers] I know, only, Fyodor Yakovlevitch, be a good man +and let us call you your excellency! The family here, you see, is +patriarchal; it respects the aged, it likes rank. + +REVUNOV. Oh, if it's like that, very well. ... [Goes to the table] +Awfully! + +NASTASYA TIMOFEYEVNA. Sit down, your excellency! Be so good as to +have some of this, your excellency! Only forgive us for not being +used to etiquette; we're plain people! + +REVUNOV. [Not hearing] What? Hm ... yes. [Pause] Yes. ... In the +old days everybody used to live simply and was happy. In spite of +my rank, I am a man who lives plainly. To-day Andrey comes to me +and asks me to come here to the wedding. "How shall I go," I said, +"when I don't know them? It's not good manners!" But he says: "They +are good, simple, patriarchal people, glad to see anybody." Well, +if that's the case ... why not? Very glad to come. It's very dull +for me at home by myself, and if my presence at a wedding can make +anybody happy, then I'm delighted to be here. ... + +ZHIGALOV. Then that's sincere, is it, your excellency? I respect +that! I'm a plain man myself, without any deception, and I respect +others who are like that. Eat, your excellency! + +APLOMBOV. Is it long since you retired, your excellency? + +REVUNOV. Eh? Yes, yes. ... Quite true. ... Yes. But, excuse me, +what is this? The fish is sour ... and the bread is sour. I can't +eat this! [APLOMBOV and DASHENKA kiss each other] He, he, he ... +Your health! [Pause] Yes. ... In the old days everything was simple +and everybody was glad. ... I love simplicity. ... I'm an old man. +I retired in 1865. I'm 72. Yes, of course, in my younger days it +was different, but-- [Sees MOZGOVOY] You there ... a sailor, are +you? + +MOZGOVOY. Yes, just so. + +REVUNOV. Aha, so ... yes. The navy means hard work. There's a lot +to think about and get a headache over. Every insignificant word +has, so to speak, its special meaning! For instance, "Hoist her +top-sheets and mainsail!" What's it mean? A sailor can tell! He, +he!--With almost mathematical precision! + +NUNIN. The health of his excellency Fyodor Yakovlevitch Revunov-Karaulov! +[Band plays a flourish. Cheers.] + +YATS. You, your excellency, have just expressed yourself on the +subject of the hard work involved in a naval career. But is +telegraphy any easier? Nowadays, your excellency, nobody is +appointed to the telegraphs if he cannot read and write French and +German. But the transmission of telegrams is the most difficult +thing of all. Awfully difficult! Just listen. + +[Taps with his fork on the table, like a telegraphic transmitter.] + +REVUNOV. What does that mean? + +YATS. It means, "I honour you, your excellency, for your virtues." +You think it's easy? Listen now. [Taps.] + +REVUNOV. Louder; I can't hear. ... + +YATS. That means, "Madam, how happy I am to hold you in my +embraces!" + +REVUNOV. What madam are you talking about? Yes. ... [To MOZGOVOY] +Yes, if there's a head-wind you must ... let's see ... you must +hoist your foretop halyards and topsail halyards! The order is: "On +the cross-trees to the foretop halyards and topsail halyards" and +at the same time, as the sails get loose, you take hold underneath +of the foresail and fore-topsail halyards, stays and braces. + +A GROOMSMAN. [Rising] Ladies and gentlemen ... + +REVUNOV. [Cutting him short] Yes ... there are a great many orders +to give. "Furl the fore-topsail and the foretop-gallant sail!!" +Well, what does that mean? It's very simple! It means that if the +top and top-gallant sails are lifting the halyards, they must level +the foretop and foretop-gallant halyards on the hoist and at the +same time the top-gallants braces, as needed, are loosened +according to the direction of the wind ... + +NUNIN. [To REVUNOV] Fyodor Yakovlevitch, Mme. Zhigalov asks you to +talk about something else. It's very dull for the guests, who can't +understand. ... + +REVUNOV. What? Who's dull? [To MOZGOVOY] Young man! Now suppose the +ship is lying by the wind, on the starboard tack, under full sail, +and you've got to bring her before the wind. What's the order? +Well, first you whistle up above! He, he! + +NUNIN. Fyodor Yakovlevitch, that's enough. Eat something. + +REVUNOV. As soon as the men are on deck you give the order, "To +your places!" What a life! You give orders, and at the same time +you've got to keep your eyes on the sailors, who run about like +flashes of lightning and get the sails and braces right. And at +last you can't restrain yourself, and you shout, "Good children!" +[He chokes and coughs.] + +A GROOMSMAN. [Making haste to use the ensuing pause to advantage] +On this occasion, so to speak, on the day on which we have met +together to honour our dear ... + +REVUNOV. [Interrupting] Yes, you've got to remember all that! For +instance, "Hoist the topsail halyards. Lower the topsail gallants!" + +THE GROOMSMAN. [Annoyed] Why does he keep on interrupting? We +shan't get through a single speech like that! + +NASTASYA TIMOFEYEVNA. We are dull people, your excellency, and +don't understand a word of all that, but if you were to tell us +something appropriate ... + +REVUNOV. [Not hearing] I've already had supper, thank you. Did you +say there was goose? Thanks ... yes. I've remembered the old days. ... +It's pleasant, young man! You sail on the sea, you have no worries, +and [In an excited tone of voice] do you remember the joy of +tacking? Is there a sailor who doesn't glow at the memory of that +manoeuvre? As soon as the word is given and the whistle blown and +the crew begins to go up--it's as if an electric spark has run +through them all. From the captain to the cabin-boy, everybody's +excited. + +ZMEYUKINA. How dull! How dull! [General murmur.] + +REVUNOV. [Who has not heard it properly] Thank you, I've had +supper. [With enthusiasm] Everybody's ready, and looks to the +senior officer. He gives the command: "Stand by, gallants and +topsail braces on the starboard side, main and counter-braces to +port!" Everything's done in a twinkling. Top-sheets and jib-sheets +are pulled ... taken to starboard. [Stands up] The ship takes the +wind and at last the sails fill out. The senior officer orders, "To +the braces," and himself keeps his eye on the mainsail, and when at +last this sail is filling out and the ship begins to turn, he yells +at the top of his voice, "Let go the braces! Loose the main +halyards!" Everything flies about, there's a general confusion for +a moment--and everything is done without an error. The ship has +been tacked! + +NASTASYA TIMOFEYEVNA. [Exploding] General, your manners. ... You +ought to be ashamed of yourself, at your age! + +REVUNOV. Did you say sausage? No, I haven't had any ... thank you. + +NASTASYA TIMOFEYEVNA. [Loudly] I say you ought to be ashamed of +yourself at your age! General, your manners are awful! + +NUNIN. [Confused] Ladies and gentlemen, is it worth it? Really ... + +REVUNOV. In the first place, I'm not a general, but a second-class +naval captain, which, according to the table of precedence, +corresponds to a lieutenant-colonel. + +NASTASYA TIMOFEYEVNA. If you're not a general, then what did you go +and take our money for? We never paid you money to behave like +that! + +REVUNOV. [Upset] What money? + +NASTASYA TIMOFEYEVNA. You know what money. You know that you got 25 +roubles from Andrey Andreyevitch. ... [To NUNIN] And you look out, +Andrey! I never asked you to hire a man like that! + +NUNIN. There now ... let it drop. Is it worth it? + +REVUNOV. Paid ... hired. ... What is it? + +APLOMBOV. Just let me ask you this. Did you receive 25 roubles from +Andrey Andreyevitch? + +REVUNOV. What 25 roubles? [Suddenly realizing] That's what it is! +Now I understand it all. ... How mean! How mean! + +APLOMBOV. Did you take the money? + +REVUNOV. I haven't taken any money! Get away from me! [Leaves the +table] How mean! How low! To insult an old man, a sailor, an +officer who has served long and faithfully! If you were decent +people I could call somebody out, but what can I do now? [Absently] +Where's the door? Which way do I go? Waiter, show me the way out! +Waiter! [Going] How mean! How low! [Exit.] + +NASTASYA TIMOFEYEVNA. Andrey, where are those 25 roubles? + +NUNIN. Is it worth while bothering about such trifles? What does it +matter! Everybody's happy here, and here you go. ... [Shouts] The +health of the bride and bridegroom! A march! A march! [The band +plays a march] The health of the bride and bridegroom! + +ZMEYUKINA. I'm suffocating! Give me atmosphere! I'm suffocating +with you all round me! + +YATS. [In a transport of delight] My beauty! My beauty! [Uproar.] + +A GROOMSMAN. [Trying to shout everybody else down] Ladies and +gentlemen! On this occasion, if I may say so ... + +Curtain. + + + +THE BEAR + + +CHARACTERS + +ELENA IVANOVNA POPOVA, a landowning little widow, with dimples on her +cheeks +GRIGORY STEPANOVITCH SMIRNOV, a middle-aged landowner +LUKA, Popova's aged footman + + +THE BEAR + + +[A drawing-room in POPOVA'S house.] + +[POPOVA is in deep mourning and has her eyes fixed on a photograph. +LUKA is haranguing her.] + +LUKA. It isn't right, madam. ... You're just destroying yourself. +The maid and the cook have gone off fruit picking, every living +being is rejoicing, even the cat understands how to enjoy herself +and walks about in the yard, catching midges; only you sit in this +room all day, as if this was a convent, and don't take any +pleasure. Yes, really! I reckon it's a whole year that you haven't +left the house! + +POPOVA. I shall never go out. ... Why should I? My life is already +at an end. He is in his grave, and I have buried myself between +four walls. ... We are both dead. + +LUKA. Well, there you are! Nicolai Mihailovitch is dead, well, it's +the will of God, and may his soul rest in peace. ... You've mourned +him--and quite right. But you can't go on weeping and wearing +mourning for ever. My old woman died too, when her time came. Well? +I grieved over her, I wept for a month, and that's enough for her, +but if I've got to weep for a whole age, well, the old woman isn't +worth it. [Sighs] You've forgotten all your neighbours. You don't +go anywhere, and you see nobody. We live, so to speak, like +spiders, and never see the light. The mice have eaten my livery. It +isn't as if there were no good people around, for the district's +full of them. There's a regiment quartered at Riblov, and the +officers are such beauties--you can never gaze your fill at them. +And, every Friday, there's a ball at the camp, and every day the +soldier's band plays. ... Eh, my lady! You're young and beautiful, +with roses in your cheek--if you only took a little pleasure. +Beauty won't last long, you know. In ten years' time you'll want to +be a pea-hen yourself among the officers, but they won't look at +you, it will be too late. + +POPOVA. [With determination] I must ask you never to talk to me +about it! You know that when Nicolai Mihailovitch died, life lost +all its meaning for me. I vowed never to the end of my days to +cease to wear mourning, or to see the light. ... You hear? Let his +ghost see how well I love him. ... Yes, I know it's no secret to +you that he was often unfair to me, cruel, and ... and even +unfaithful, but I shall be true till death, and show him how I can +love. There, beyond the grave, he will see me as I was before his +death. ... + +LUKA. Instead of talking like that you ought to go and have a walk +in the garden, or else order Toby or Giant to be harnessed, and +then drive out to see some of the neighbours. + +POPOVA. Oh! [Weeps.] + +LUKA. Madam! Dear madam! What is it? Bless you! + +POPOVA. He was so fond of Toby! He always used to ride on him to +the Korchagins and Vlasovs. How well he could ride! What grace +there was in his figure when he pulled at the reins with all his +strength! Do you remember? Toby, Toby! Tell them to give him an +extra feed of oats. + +LUKA. Yes, madam. [A bell rings noisily.] + +POPOVA. [Shaking] Who's that? Tell them that I receive nobody. + +LUKA. Yes, madam. [Exit.] + +POPOVA. [Looks at the photograph] You will see, Nicolas, how I can +love and forgive. ... My love will die out with me, only when this +poor heart will cease to beat. [Laughs through her tears] And +aren't you ashamed? I am a good and virtuous little wife. I've +locked myself in, and will be true to you till the grave, and you ... +aren't you ashamed, you bad child? You deceived me, had rows with +me, left me alone for weeks on end . ... + +[LUKA enters in consternation.] + +LUKA. Madam, somebody is asking for you. He wants to see you. ... + +POPOVA. But didn't you tell him that since the death of my husband +I've stopped receiving? + +LUKA. I did, but he wouldn't even listen; says that it's a very +pressing affair. + +POPOVA. I do not re-ceive! + +LUKA. I told him so, but the ... the devil ... curses and pushes +himself right in. ... He's in the dining-room now. + +POPOVA. [Annoyed] Very well, ask him in. ... What manners! [Exit +LUKA] How these people annoy me! What does he want of me? Why +should he disturb my peace? [Sighs] No, I see that I shall have to +go into a convent after all. [Thoughtfully] Yes, into a convent. ... +[Enter LUKA with SMIRNOV.] + +SMIRNOV. [To LUKA] You fool, you're too fond of talking. ... Ass! +[Sees POPOVA and speaks with respect] Madam, I have the honour to +present myself, I am Grigory Stepanovitch Smirnov, landowner and +retired lieutenant of artillery! I am compelled to disturb you on a +very pressing affair. + +POPOVA. [Not giving him her hand] What do you want? + +SMIRNOV. Your late husband, with whom I had the honour of being +acquainted, died in my debt for one thousand two hundred roubles, +on two bills of exchange. As I've got to pay the interest on a +mortgage to-morrow, I've come to ask you, madam, to pay me the +money to-day. + +POPOVA. One thousand two hundred. ... And what was my husband in +debt to you for? + +SMIRNOV. He used to buy oats from me. + +POPOVA. [Sighing, to LUKA] So don't you forget, Luka, to give Toby +an extra feed of oats. [Exit LUKA] If Nicolai Mihailovitch died in +debt to you, then I shall certainly pay you, but you must excuse me +to-day, as I haven't any spare cash. The day after to-morrow my +steward will be back from town, and I'll give him instructions to +settle your account, but at the moment I cannot do as you wish. ... +Moreover, it's exactly seven months to-day since the death of my +husband, and I'm in a state of mind which absolutely prevents me +from giving money matters my attention. + +SMIRNOV. And I'm in a state of mind which, if I don't pay the +interest due to-morrow, will force me to make a graceful exit from +this life feet first. They'll take my estate! + +POPOVA. You'll have your money the day after to-morrow. + +SMIRNOV. I don't want the money the day after tomorrow, I want it +to-day. + +POPOVA. You must excuse me, I can't pay you. + +SMIRNOV. And I can't wait till after to-morrow. + +POPOVA. Well, what can I do, if I haven't the money now! + +SMIRNOV. You mean to say, you can't pay me? + +POPOVA. I can't. + +SMIRNOV. Hm! Is that the last word you've got to say? + +POPOVA. Yes, the last word. + +SMIRNOV. The last word? Absolutely your last? + +POPOVA. Absolutely. + +SMIRNOV. Thank you so much. I'll make a note of it. [Shrugs his +shoulders] And then people want me to keep calm! I meet a man on +the road, and he asks me "Why are you always so angry, Grigory +Stepanovitch?" But how on earth am I not to get angry? I want the +money desperately. I rode out yesterday, early in the morning, and +called on all my debtors, and not a single one of them paid up! I +was just about dead-beat after it all, slept, goodness knows where, +in some inn, kept by a Jew, with a vodka-barrel by my head. At last +I get here, seventy versts from home, and hope to get something, +and I am received by you with a "state of mind"! How shouldn't I +get angry. + +POPOVA. I thought I distinctly said my steward will pay you when he +returns from town. + +SMIRNOV. I didn't come to your steward, but to you! What the devil, +excuse my saying so, have I to do with your steward! + +POPOVA. Excuse me, sir, I am not accustomed to listen to such +expressions or to such a tone of voice. I want to hear no more. +[Makes a rapid exit.] + +SMIRNOV. Well, there! "A state of mind." ... "Husband died seven +months ago!" Must I pay the interest, or mustn't I? I ask you: Must +I pay, or must I not? Suppose your husband is dead, and you've got +a state of mind, and nonsense of that sort. ... And your steward's +gone away somewhere, devil take him, what do you want me to do? Do +you think I can fly away from my creditors in a balloon, or what? +Or do you expect me to go and run my head into a brick wall? I go +to Grusdev and he isn't at home, Yaroshevitch has hidden himself, I +had a violent row with Kuritsin and nearly threw him out of the +window, Mazugo has something the matter with his bowels, and this +woman has "a state of mind." Not one of the swine wants to pay me! +Just because I'm too gentle with them, because I'm a rag, just weak +wax in their hands! I'm much too gentle with them! Well, just you +wait! You'll find out what I'm like! I shan't let you play about +with me, confound it! I shall jolly well stay here until she pays! +Brr! ... How angry I am to-day, how angry I am! All my inside is +quivering with anger, and I can't even breathe. ... Foo, my word, I +even feel sick! [Yells] Waiter! + +[Enter LUKA.] + +LUKA. What is it? + +SMIRNOV. Get me some kvass or water! [Exit LUKA] What a way to +reason! A man is in desperate need of his money, and she won't pay +it because, you see, she is not disposed to attend to money +matters! ... That's real silly feminine logic. That's why I never +did like, and don't like now, to have to talk to women. I'd rather +sit on a barrel of gunpowder than talk to a woman. Brr! ... I feel +quite chilly--and it's all on account of that little bit of fluff! +I can't even see one of these poetic creatures from a distance +without breaking out into a cold sweat out of sheer anger. I can't +look at them. [Enter LUKA with water.] + +LUKA. Madam is ill and will see nobody. + +SMIRNOV. Get out! [Exit LUKA] Ill and will see nobody! No, it's all +right, you don't see me. ... I'm going to stay and will sit here +till you give me the money. You can be ill for a week, if you like, +and I'll stay here for a week. ... If you're ill for a year--I'll +stay for a year. I'm going to get my own, my dear! You don't get at +me with your widow's weeds and your dimpled cheeks! I know those +dimples! [Shouts through the window] Simeon, take them out! We +aren't going away at once! I'm staying here! Tell them in the +stable to give the horses some oats! You fool, you've let the near +horse's leg get tied up in the reins again! [Teasingly] "Never +mind. ..." I'll give it you. "Never mind." [Goes away from the +window] Oh, it's bad. ... The heat's frightful, nobody pays up. I +slept badly, and on top of everything else here's a bit of fluff in +mourning with "a state of mind." ... My head's aching. ... Shall I +have some vodka, what? Yes, I think I will. [Yells] Waiter! + +[Enter LUKA.] + +LUKA. What is it? + +SMIRNOV. A glass of vodka! [Exit LUKA] Ouf! [Sits and inspects +himself] I must say I look well! Dust all over, boots dirty, +unwashed, unkempt, straw on my waistcoat. ... The dear lady may +well have taken me for a brigand. [Yawns] It's rather impolite to +come into a drawing-room in this state, but it can't be helped. ... +I am not here as a visitor, but as a creditor, and there's no dress +specially prescribed for creditors. ... + +[Enter LUKA with the vodka.] + +LUKA. You allow yourself to go very far, sir. ... + +SMIRNOV [Angrily] What? + +LUKA. I ... er ... nothing ... I really ... + +SMIRNOV. Whom are you talking to? Shut up! + +LUKA. [Aside] The devil's come to stay. ... Bad luck that brought +him. ... [Exit.] + +SMIRNOV. Oh, how angry I am! So angry that I think I could grind +the whole world to dust. ... I even feel sick. ... [Yells] Waiter! + +[Enter POPOVA.] + +POPOVA. [Her eyes downcast] Sir, in my solitude I have grown +unaccustomed to the masculine voice, and I can't stand shouting. I +must ask you not to disturb my peace. + +SMIRNOV. Pay me the money, and I'll go. + +POPOVA. I told you perfectly plainly; I haven't any money to spare; +wait until the day after to-morrow. + +SMIRNOV. And I told you perfectly plainly I don't want the money +the day after to-morrow, but to-day. If you don't pay me to-day, +I'll have to hang myself to-morrow. + +POPOVA. But what can I do if I haven't got the money? You're so +strange! + +SMIRNOV. Then you won't pay me now? Eh? + +POPOVA. I can't. + +SMIRNOV. In that case I stay here and shall wait until I get it. +[Sits down] You're going to pay me the day after to-morrow? Very +well! I'll stay here until the day after to-morrow. I'll sit here +all the time. ... [Jumps up] I ask you: Have I got to pay the +interest to-morrow, or haven't I? Or do you think I'm doing this +for a joke? + +POPOVA. Please don't shout! This isn't a stable! + +SMIRNOV. I wasn't asking you about a stable, but whether I'd got my +interest to pay to-morrow or not? + +POPOVA. You don't know how to behave before women! + +SMIRNOV. No, I do know how to behave before women! + +POPOVA. No, you don't! You're a rude, ill-bred man! Decent people +don't talk to a woman like that! + +SMIRNOV. What a business! How do you want me to talk to you? In +French, or what? [Loses his temper and lisps] _Madame, je vous +prie_. ... How happy I am that you don't pay me. ... Ah, pardon. I +have disturbed you! Such lovely weather to-day! And how well you +look in mourning! [Bows.] + +POPOVA. That's silly and rude. + +SMIRNOV. [Teasing her] Silly and rude! I don't know how to behave +before women! Madam, in my time I've seen more women than you've +seen sparrows! Three times I've fought duels on account of women. +I've refused twelve women, and nine have refused me! Yes! There was +a time when I played the fool, scented myself, used honeyed words, +wore jewellery, made beautiful bows. I used to love, to suffer, to +sigh at the moon, to get sour, to thaw, to freeze. ... I used to +love passionately, madly, every blessed way, devil take me; I used +to chatter like a magpie about emancipation, and wasted half my +wealth on tender feelings, but now--you must excuse me! You won't +get round me like that now! I've had enough! Black eyes, passionate +eyes, ruby lips, dimpled cheeks, the moon, whispers, timid +breathing--I wouldn't give a brass farthing for the lot, madam! +Present company always excepted, all women, great or little, are +insincere, crooked, backbiters, envious, liars to the marrow of +their bones, vain, trivial, merciless, unreasonable, and, as far as +this is concerned [taps his forehead] excuse my outspokenness, a +sparrow can give ten points to any philosopher in petticoats you +like to name! You look at one of these poetic creatures: all +muslin, an ethereal demi-goddess, you have a million transports of +joy, and you look into her soul--and see a common crocodile! [He +grips the back of a chair; the chair creaks and breaks] But the +most disgusting thing of all is that this crocodile for some reason +or other imagines that its chef d'oeuvre, its privilege and +monopoly, is its tender feelings. Why, confound it, hang me on that +nail feet upwards, if you like, but have you met a woman who can +love anybody except a lapdog? When she's in love, can she do +anything but snivel and slobber? While a man is suffering and +making sacrifices all her love expresses itself in her playing +about with her scarf, and trying to hook him more firmly by the +nose. You have the misfortune to be a woman, you know from yourself +what is the nature of woman. Tell me truthfully, have you ever seen +a woman who was sincere, faithful, and constant? You haven't! Only +freaks and old women are faithful and constant! You'll meet a cat +with a horn or a white woodcock sooner than a constant woman! + +POPOVA. Then, according to you, who is faithful and constant in +love? Is it the man? + +SMIRNOV. Yes, the man! + +POPOVA. The man! [Laughs bitterly] Men are faithful and constant in +love! What an idea! [With heat] What right have you to talk like +that? Men are faithful and constant! Since we are talking about it, +I'll tell you that of all the men I knew and know, the best was my +late husband. ... I loved him passionately with all my being, as +only a young and imaginative woman can love, I gave him my youth, +my happiness, my life, my fortune, I breathed in him, I worshipped +him as if I were a heathen, and ... and what then? This best of men +shamelessly deceived me at every step! After his death I found in +his desk a whole drawerful of love-letters, and when he was alive-- +it's an awful thing to remember!--he used to leave me alone for +weeks at a time, and make love to other women and betray me before +my very eyes; he wasted my money, and made fun of my feelings. ... +And, in spite of all that, I loved him and was true to him. And not +only that, but, now that he is dead, I am still true and constant +to his memory. I have shut myself for ever within these four walls, +and will wear these weeds to the very end. ... + +SMIRNOV. [Laughs contemptuously] Weeds! ... I don't understand what +you take me for. As if I don't know why you wear that black domino +and bury yourself between four walls! I should say I did! It's so +mysterious, so poetic! When some junker [Note: So in the original.] +or some tame poet goes past your windows he'll think: "There lives +the mysterious Tamara who, for the love of her husband, buried +herself between four walls." We know these games! + +POPOVA. [Exploding] What? How dare you say all that to me? + +SMIRNOV. You may have buried yourself alive, but you haven't +forgotten to powder your face! + +POPOVA. How dare you speak to me like that? + +SMIRNOV. Please don't shout, I'm not your steward! You must allow +me to call things by their real names. I'm not a woman, and I'm +used to saying what I think straight out! Don't you shout, either! + +POPOVA. I'm not shouting, it's you! Please leave me alone! + +SMIRNOV. Pay me my money and I'll go. + +POPOVA. I shan't give you any money! + +SMIRNOV. Oh, no, you will. + +POPOVA. I shan't give you a farthing, just to spite you. You leave +me alone! + +SMIRNOV. I have not the pleasure of being either your husband or +your fiance, so please don't make scenes. [Sits] I don't like it. + +POPOVA. [Choking with rage] So you sit down? + +SMIRNOV. I do. + +POPOVA. I ask you to go away! + +SMIRNOV. Give me my money. ... [Aside] Oh, how angry I am! How +angry I am! + +POPOVA. I don't want to talk to impudent scoundrels! Get out of +this! [Pause] Aren't you going? No? + +SMIRNOV. No. + +POPOVA. No? + +SMIRNOV. No! + +POPOVA. Very well then! [Rings, enter LUKA] Luka, show this +gentleman out! + +LUKA. [Approaches SMIRNOV] Would you mind going out, sir, as you're +asked to! You needn't ... + +SMIRNOV. [Jumps up] Shut up! Who are you talking to? I'll chop you +into pieces! + +LUKA. [Clutches at his heart] Little fathers! ... What people! ... +[Falls into a chair] Oh, I'm ill, I'm ill! I can't breathe! + +POPOVA. Where's Dasha? Dasha! [Shouts] Dasha! Pelageya! Dasha! +[Rings.] + +LUKA. Oh! They've all gone out to pick fruit. ... There's nobody at +home! I'm ill! Water! + +POPOVA. Get out of this, now. + +SMIRNOV. Can't you be more polite? + +POPOVA. [Clenches her fists and stamps her foot] You're a boor! A +coarse bear! A Bourbon! A monster! + +SMIRNOV. What? What did you say? + +POPOVA. I said you are a bear, a monster! + +SMIRNOV. [Approaching her] May I ask what right you have to insult +me? + +POPOVA. And suppose I am insulting you? Do you think I'm afraid of +you? + +SMIRNOV. And do you think that just because you're a poetic +creature you can insult me with impunity? Eh? We'll fight it out! + +LUKA. Little fathers! ... What people! ... Water! + +SMIRNOV. Pistols! + +POPOVA. Do you think I'm afraid of you just because you have large +fists and a bull's throat? Eh? You Bourbon! + +SMIRNOV. We'll fight it out! I'm not going to be insulted by +anybody, and I don't care if you are a woman, one of the "softer +sex," indeed! + +POPOVA. [Trying to interrupt him] Bear! Bear! Bear! + +SMIRNOV. It's about time we got rid of the prejudice that only men +need pay for their insults. Devil take it, if you want equality of +rights you can have it. We're going to fight it out! + +POPOVA. With pistols? Very well! + +SMIRNOV. This very minute. + +POPOVA. This very minute! My husband had some pistols. ... I'll +bring them here. [Is going, but turns back] What pleasure it will +give me to put a bullet into your thick head! Devil take you! +[Exit.] + +SMIRNOV. I'll bring her down like a chicken! I'm not a little boy +or a sentimental puppy; I don't care about this "softer sex." + +LUKA. Gracious little fathers! ... [Kneels] Have pity on a poor old +man, and go away from here! You've frightened her to death, and now +you want to shoot her! + +SMIRNOV. [Not hearing him] If she fights, well that's equality of +rights, emancipation, and all that! Here the sexes are equal! I'll +shoot her on principle! But what a woman! [Parodying her] "Devil +take you! I'll put a bullet into your thick head." Eh? How she +reddened, how her cheeks shone! ... She accepted my challenge! My +word, it's the first time in my life that I've seen. ... + +LUKA. Go away, sir, and I'll always pray to God for you! + +SMIRNOV. She is a woman! That's the sort I can understand! A real +woman! Not a sour-faced jellybag, but fire, gunpowder, a rocket! +I'm even sorry to have to kill her! + +LUKA. [Weeps] Dear ... dear sir, do go away! + +SMIRNOV. I absolutely like her! Absolutely! Even though her cheeks +are dimpled, I like her! I'm almost ready to let the debt go ... +and I'm not angry any longer. ... Wonderful woman! + +[Enter POPOVA with pistols.] + +POPOVA. Here are the pistols. ... But before we fight you must show +me how to fire. I've never held a pistol in my hands before. + +LUKA. Oh, Lord, have mercy and save her. ... I'll go and find the +coachman and the gardener. ... Why has this infliction come on us. ... +[Exit.] + +SMIRNOV. [Examining the pistols] You see, there are several sorts +of pistols. ... There are Mortimer pistols, specially made for +duels, they fire a percussion-cap. These are Smith and Wesson +revolvers, triple action, with extractors. ... These are excellent +pistols. They can't cost less than ninety roubles the pair. ... You +must hold the revolver like this. ... [Aside] Her eyes, her eyes! +What an inspiring woman! + +POPOVA. Like this? + +SMIRNOV. Yes, like this. ... Then you cock the trigger, and take +aim like this. ... Put your head back a little! Hold your arm out +properly. ... Like that. ... Then you press this thing with your +finger--and that's all. The great thing is to keep cool and aim +steadily. ... Try not to jerk your arm. + +POPOVA. Very well. ... It's inconvenient to shoot in a room, let's +go into the garden. + +SMIRNOV. Come along then. But I warn you, I'm going to fire in the +air. + +POPOVA. That's the last straw! Why? + +SMIRNOV. Because ... because ... it's my affair. + +POPOVA. Are you afraid? Yes? Ah! No, sir, you don't get out of it! +You come with me! I shan't have any peace until I've made a hole in +your forehead ... that forehead which I hate so much! Are you +afraid? + +SMIRNOV. Yes, I am afraid. + +POPOVA. You lie! Why won't you fight? + +SMIRNOV. Because ... because you ... because I like you. + +POPOVA. [Laughs] He likes me! He dares to say that he likes me! +[Points to the door] That's the way. + +SMIRNOV. [Loads the revolver in silence, takes his cap and goes to +the door. There he stops for half a minute, while they look at each +other in silence, then he hesitatingly approaches POPOVA] Listen. ... +Are you still angry? I'm devilishly annoyed, too ... but, do you +understand ... how can I express myself? ... The fact is, you see, +it's like this, so to speak. ... [Shouts] Well, is it my fault that +I like you? [He snatches at the back of a chair; the chair creaks +and breaks] Devil take it, how I'm smashing up your furniture! I +like you! Do you understand? I ... I almost love you! + +POPOVA. Get away from me--I hate you! + +SMIRNOV. God, what a woman! I've never in my life seen one like +her! I'm lost! Done for! Fallen into a mousetrap, like a mouse! + +POPOVA. Stand back, or I'll fire! + +SMIRNOV. Fire, then! You can't understand what happiness it would +be to die before those beautiful eyes, to be shot by a revolver +held in that little, velvet hand. ... I'm out of my senses! Think, +and make up your mind at once, because if I go out we shall never +see each other again! Decide now. ... I am a landowner, of +respectable character, have an income of ten thousand a year. I can +put a bullet through a coin tossed into the air as it comes down. ... +I own some fine horses. ... Will you be my wife? + +POPOVA. [Indignantly shakes her revolver] Let's fight! Let's go +out! + +SMIRNOV. I'm mad. ... I understand nothing. [Yells] Waiter, water! + +POPOVA. [Yells] Let's go out and fight! + +SMIRNOV. I'm off my head, I'm in love like a boy, like a fool! +[Snatches her hand, she screams with pain] I love you! [Kneels] I +love you as I've never loved before! I've refused twelve women, +nine have refused me, but I never loved one of them as I love you. ... +I'm weak, I'm wax, I've melted. ... I'm on my knees like a fool, +offering you my hand. ... Shame, shame! I haven't been in love for +five years, I'd taken a vow, and now all of a sudden I'm in love, +like a fish out of water! I offer you my hand. Yes or no? You don't +want me? Very well! [Gets up and quickly goes to the door.] + +POPOVA. Stop. + +SMIRNOV. [Stops] Well? + +POPOVA. Nothing, go away. ... No, stop. ... No, go away, go away! I +hate you! Or no. ... Don't go away! Oh, if you knew how angry I am, +how angry I am! [Throws her revolver on the table] My fingers have +swollen because of all this. ... [Tears her handkerchief in temper] +What are you waiting for? Get out! + +SMIRNOV. Good-bye. + +POPOVA. Yes, yes, go away! ... [Yells] Where are you going? Stop. ... +No, go away. Oh, how angry I am! Don't come near me, don't come +near me! + +SMIRNOV. [Approaching her] How angry I am with myself! I'm in love +like a student, I've been on my knees. ... [Rudely] I love you! +What do I want to fall in love with you for? To-morrow I've got to +pay the interest, and begin mowing, and here you. ... [Puts his +arms around her] I shall never forgive myself for this. ... + +POPOVA. Get away from me! Take your hands away! I hate you! Let's +go and fight! + +[A prolonged kiss. Enter LUKA with an axe, the GARDENER with a +rake, the COACHMAN with a pitchfork, and WORKMEN with poles.] + +LUKA. [Catches sight of the pair kissing] Little fathers! [Pause.] + +POPOVA. [Lowering her eyes] Luka, tell them in the stables that +Toby isn't to have any oats at all to-day. + +Curtain. + + + +A TRAGEDIAN IN SPITE OF HIMSELF + + +CHARACTERS + +IVAN IVANOVITCH TOLKACHOV, the father of a family +ALEXEY ALEXEYEVITCH MURASHKIN, his friend + +The scene is laid in St. Petersburg, in MURASHKIN'S flat + + +A TRAGEDIAN IN SPITE OF HIMSELF + +[MURASHKIN'S study. Comfortable furniture. MURASHKIN is seated at +his desk. Enter TOLKACHOV holding in his hands a glass globe for a +lamp, a toy bicycle, three hat-boxes, a large parcel containing a +dress, a bin-case of beer, and several little parcels. He looks +round stupidly and lets himself down on the sofa in exhaustion.] + +MURASHKIN. How do you do, Ivan Ivanovitch? Delighted to see you! +What brings you here? + +TOLKACHOV. [Breathing heavily] My dear good fellow ... I want to +ask you something. ... I implore you lend me a revolver till +to-morrow. Be a friend! + +MURASHKIN. What do you want a revolver for? + +TOLKACHOV. I must have it. ... Oh, little fathers! ... give me some +water ... water quickly! ... I must have it ... I've got to go +through a dark wood to-night, so in case of accidents ... do, +please, lend it to me. + +MURASHKIN. Oh, you liar, Ivan Ivanovitch! What the devil have you +got to do in a dark wood? I expect you are up to something. I can +see by your face that you are up to something. What's the matter +with you? Are you ill? + +TOLKACHOV. Wait a moment, let me breathe. ... Oh little mothers! I +am dog-tired. I've got a feeling all over me, and in my head as +well, as if I've been roasted on a spit. I can't stand it any +longer. Be a friend, and don't ask me any questions or insist on +details; just give me the revolver! I beseech you! + +MURASHKIN. Well, really! Ivan Ivanovitch, what cowardice is this? +The father of a family and a Civil Servant holding a responsible +post! For shame! + +TOLKACHOV. What sort of a father of a family am I! I am a martyr. I +am a beast of burden, a nigger, a slave, a rascal who keeps on +waiting here for something to happen instead of starting off for +the next world. I am a rag, a fool, an idiot. Why am I alive? +What's the use? [Jumps up] Well now, tell me why am I alive? What's +the purpose of this uninterrupted series of mental and physical +sufferings? I understand being a martyr to an idea, yes! But to be +a martyr to the devil knows what, skirts and lamp-globes, no! I +humbly decline! No, no, no! I've had enough! Enough! + +MURASHKIN. Don't shout, the neighbours will hear you! + +TOLKACHOV. Let your neighbours hear; it's all the same to me! If +you don't give me a revolver somebody else will, and there will be +an end of me anyway! I've made up my mind! + +MURASHKIN. Hold on, you've pulled off a button. Speak calmly. I +still don't understand what's wrong with your life. + +TOLKACHOV. What's wrong? You ask me what's wrong? Very well, I'll +tell you! Very well! I'll tell you everything, and then perhaps my +soul will be lighter. Let's sit down. Now listen ... Oh, little +mothers, I am out of breath! ... Just let's take to-day as an +instance. Let's take to-day. As you know, I've got to work at the +Treasury from ten to four. It's hot, it's stuffy, there are flies, +and, my dear fellow, the very dickens of a chaos. The Secretary is +on leave, Khrapov has gone to get married, and the smaller fry is +mostly in the country, making love or occupied with amateur +theatricals. Everybody is so sleepy, tired, and done up that you +can't get any sense out of them. The Secretary's duties are in the +hands of an individual who is deaf in the left ear and in love; the +public has lost its memory; everybody is running about angry and +raging, and there is such a hullabaloo that you can't hear yourself +speak. Confusion and smoke everywhere. And my work is deathly: +always the same, always the same--first a correction, then a +reference back, another correction, another reference back; it's +all as monotonous as the waves of the sea. One's eyes, you +understand, simply crawl out of one's head. Give me some water. ... +You come out a broken, exhausted man. You would like to dine and +fall asleep, but you don't!--You remember that you live in the +country--that is, you are a slave, a rag, a bit of string, a bit of +limp flesh, and you've got to run round and do errands. Where we +live a pleasant custom has grown up: when a man goes to town every +wretched female inhabitant, not to mention one's own wife, has the +power and the right to give him a crowd of commissions. The wife +orders you to run into the modiste's and curse her for making a +bodice too wide across the chest and too narrow across the +shoulders; little Sonya wants a new pair of shoes; your sister-in-law +wants some scarlet silk like the pattern at twenty copecks and +three arshins long. ... Just wait; I'll read you. [Takes a note out +of his pocket and reads] A globe for the lamp; one pound of pork +sausages; five copecks' worth of cloves and cinnamon; castor-oil +for Misha; ten pounds of granulated sugar. To bring with you from +home: a copper jar for the sugar; carbolic acid; insect powder, ten +copecks' worth; twenty bottles of beer; vinegar; and corsets for +Mlle. Shanceau at No. 82. ... Ouf! And to bring home Misha's winter +coat and goloshes. That is the order of my wife and family. Then +there are the commissions of our dear friends and neighbours--devil +take them! To-morrow is the name-day of Volodia Vlasin; I have to +buy a bicycle for him. The wife of Lieutenant-Colonel Virkhin is in +an interesting condition, and I am therefore bound to call in at +the midwife's every day and invite her to come. And so on, and so +on. There are five notes in my pocket and my handkerchief is all +knots. And so, my dear fellow, you spend the time between your +office and your train, running about the town like a dog with your +tongue hanging out, running and running and cursing life. From the +clothier's to the chemist's, from the chemist's to the modiste's, +from the modiste's to the pork butcher's, and then back again to +the chemist's. In one place you stumble, in a second you lose your +money, in a third you forget to pay and they raise a hue and cry +after you, in a fourth you tread on the train of a lady's dress. ... +Tfoo! You get so shaken up from all this that your bones ache all +night and you dream of crocodiles. Well, you've made all your +purchases, but how are you to pack all these things? For instance, +how are you to put a heavy copper jar together with the lamp-globe +or the carbolic acid with the tea? How are you to make a +combination of beer-bottles and this bicycle? It's the labours of +Hercules, a puzzle, a rebus! Whatever tricks you think of, in the +long run you're bound to smash or scatter something, and at the +station and in the train you have to stand with your arms apart, +holding up some parcel or other under your chin, with parcels, +cardboard boxes, and such-like rubbish all over you. The train +starts, the passengers begin to throw your luggage about on all +sides: you've got your things on somebody else's seat. They yell, +they call for the conductor, they threaten to have you put out, but +what can I do? I just stand and blink my eyes like a whacked +donkey. Now listen to this. I get home. You think I'd like to have +a nice little drink after my righteous labours and a good square +meal--isn't that so?--but there is no chance of that. My spouse has +been on the look-out for me for some time. You've hardly started on +your soup when she has her claws into you, wretched slave that you +are--and wouldn't you like to go to some amateur theatricals or to +a dance? You can't protest. You are a husband, and the word husband +when translated into the language of summer residents in the +country means a dumb beast which you can load to any extent without +fear of the interference of the Society for the Prevention of +Cruelty to Animals. So you go and blink at "A Family Scandal" or +something, you applaud when your wife tells you to, and you feel +worse and worse and worse until you expect an apoplectic fit to +happen any moment. If you go to a dance you have to find partners +for your wife, and if there is a shortage of them then you dance +the quadrilles yourself. You get back from the theatre or the dance +after midnight, when you are no longer a man but a useless, limp +rag. Well, at last you've got what you want; you unrobe and get +into bed. It's excellent--you can close your eyes and sleep. ... +Everything is so nice, poetic, and warm, you understand; there are +no children squealing behind the wall, and you've got rid of your +wife, and your conscience is clear--what more can you want? You +fall asleep--and suddenly ... you hear a buzz! ... Gnats! [Jumps +up] Gnats! Be they triply accursed Gnats! [Shakes his fist] Gnats! +It's one of the plagues of Egypt, one of the tortures of the +Inquisition! Buzz! It sounds so pitiful, so pathetic, as if it's +begging your pardon, but the villain stings so that you have to +scratch yourself for an hour after. You smoke, and go for them, and +cover yourself from head to foot, but it is no good! At last you +have to sacrifice yourself and let the cursed things devour you. +You've no sooner got used to the gnats when another plague begins: +downstairs your wife begins practising sentimental songs with her +two friends. They sleep by day and rehearse for amateur concerts by +night. Oh, my God! Those tenors are a torture with which no gnats +on earth can compare. [He sings] "Oh, tell me not my youth has +ruined you." "Before thee do I stand enchanted." Oh, the beastly +things! They've about killed me! So as to deafen myself a little I +do this: I drum on my ears. This goes on till four o'clock. Oh, +give me some more water, brother! ... I can't ... Well, not having +slept, you get up at six o'clock in the morning and off you go to +the station. You run so as not to be late, and it's muddy, foggy, +cold--brr! Then you get to town and start all over again. So there, +brother. It's a horrible life; I wouldn't wish one like it for my +enemy. You understand--I'm ill! Got asthma, heartburn--I'm always +afraid of something. I've got indigestion, everything is thick +before me ... I've become a regular psychopath. ... [Looking round] +Only, between ourselves, I want to go down to see Chechotte or +Merzheyevsky. There's some devil in me, brother. In moments of +despair and suffering, when the gnats are stinging or the tenors +sing, everything suddenly grows dim; you jump up and race round the +whole house like a lunatic and shout, "I want blood! Blood!" And +really all the time you do want to let a knife into somebody or hit +him over the head with a chair. That's what life in a summer villa +leads to! And nobody has any sympathy for me, and everybody seems +to think it's all as it should be. People even laugh. But +understand, I am a living being and I want to live! This isn't +farce, it's tragedy! I say, if you don't give me your revolver, you +might at any rate sympathize. + +MURASHKIN. I do sympathize. + +TOLKACHOV. I see how much you sympathize. ... Good-bye. I've got to +buy some anchovies and some sausage ... and some tooth-powder, and +then to the station. + +MURASHKIN. Where are you living? + +TOLKACHOV. At Carrion River. + +MURASHKIN. [Delighted] Really? Then you'll know Olga Pavlovna +Finberg, who lives there? + +TOLKACHOV. I know her. We are even acquainted. + +MURASHKIN. How perfectly splendid! That's so convenient, and it +would be so good of you ... + +TOLKACHOV. What's that? + +MURASHKIN. My dear fellow, wouldn't you do one little thing for me? +Be a friend! Promise me now. + +TOLKACHOV. What's that? + +MURASHKIN. It would be such a friendly action! I implore you, my +dear man. In the first place, give Olga Pavlovna my very kind +regards. In the second place, there's a little thing I'd like you +to take down to her. She asked me to get a sewing-machine but I +haven't anybody to send it down to her by. ... You take it, my +dear! And you might at the same time take down this canary in its +cage ... only be careful, or you'll break the door. ... What are +you looking at me like that for? + +TOLKACHOV. A sewing-machine ... a canary in a cage ... siskins, +chaffinches ... + +MURASHKIN. Ivan Ivanovitch, what's the matter with you? Why are you +turning purple? + +TOLKACHOV. [Stamping] Give me the sewing-machine! Where's the bird-cage? +Now get on top yourself! Eat me! Tear me to pieces! Kill me! +[Clenching his fists] I want blood! Blood! Blood! + +MURASHKIN. You've gone mad! + +TOLKACHOV. [Treading on his feet] I want blood! Blood! + +MURASHKIN. [In horror] He's gone mad! [Shouts] Peter! Maria! Where +are you? Help! + +TOLKACHOV. [Chasing him round the room] I want blood! Blood! + +Curtain. + + + +THE ANNIVERSARY + + +CHARACTERS + +ANDREY ANDREYEVITCH SHIPUCHIN, Chairman of the N---- Joint Stock +Bank, a middle-aged man, with a monocle +TATIANA ALEXEYEVNA, his wife, aged 25 +KUSMA NICOLAIEVITCH KHIRIN, the bank's aged book-keeper +NASTASYA FYODOROVNA MERCHUTKINA, an old woman wearing an old-fashioned +cloak +DIRECTORS OF THE BANK +EMPLOYEES OF THE BANK + +The action takes place at the Bank + + +THE ANNIVERSARY + +[The private office of the Chairman of Directors. On the left is a +door, leading into the public department. There are two desks. The +furniture aims at a deliberately luxurious effect, with armchairs +covered in velvet, flowers, statues, carpets, and a telephone. It +is midday. KHIRIN is alone; he wears long felt boots, and is +shouting through the door.] + +KHIRIN. Send out to the chemist for 15 copecks' worth of valerian +drops, and tell them to bring some drinking water into the +Directors' office! This is the hundredth time I've asked! [Goes to +a desk] I'm absolutely tired out. This is the fourth day I've been +working, without a chance of shutting my eyes. From morning to +evening I work here, from evening to morning at home. [Coughs] And +I've got an inflammation all over me. I'm hot and cold, and I +cough, and my legs ache, and there's something dancing before my +eyes. [Sits] Our scoundrel of a Chairman, the brute, is going to +read a report at a general meeting. "Our Bank, its Present and +Future." You'd think he was a Gambetta. ... [At work] Two ... one ... +one ... six ... nought ... seven. ... Next, six ... nought ... +one ... six. ... He just wants to throw dust into people's eyes, +and so I sit here and work for him like a galley-slave! This report +of his is poetic fiction and nothing more, and here I've got to sit +day after day and add figures, devil take his soul! [Rattles on his +counting-frame] I can't stand it! [Writing] That is, one ... three ... +seven ... two ... one ... nought. ... He promised to reward me for +my work. If everything goes well to-day and the public is properly +put into blinkers, he's promised me a gold charm and 300 roubles +bonus. ... We'll see. [Works] Yes, but if my work all goes for +nothing, then you'd better look out. ... I'm very excitable. ... If +I lose my temper I'm capable of committing some crime, so look out! +Yes! + +[Noise and applause behind the scenes. SHIPUCHIN'S voice: "Thank +you! Thank you! I am extremely grateful." Enter SHIPUCHIN. He wears +a frockcoat and white tie; he carries an album which has been just +presented to him.] + +SHIPUCHIN. [At the door, addresses the outer office] This present, +my dear colleagues, will be preserved to the day of my death, as a +memory of the happiest days of my life! Yes, gentlemen! Once more, +I thank you! [Throws a kiss into the air and turns to KHIRIN] My +dear, my respected Kusma Nicolaievitch! + +[All the time that SHIPUCHIN is on the stage, clerks intermittently +come in with papers for his signature and go out.] + +KHIRIN. [Standing up] I have the honour to congratulate you, Andrey +Andreyevitch, on the fiftieth anniversary of our Bank, and hope +that ... + +SHIPUCHIN. [Warmly shakes hands] Thank you, my dear sir! Thank you! +I think that in view of the unique character of the day, as it is +an anniversary, we may kiss each other! ... [They kiss] I am very, +very glad! Thank you for your service ... for everything! If, in +the course of the time during which I have had the honour to be +Chairman of this Bank anything useful has been done, the credit is +due, more than to anybody else, to my colleagues. [Sighs] Yes, +fifteen years! Fifteen years as my name's Shipuchin! [Changes his +tone] Where's my report? Is it getting on? + +KHIRIN. Yes; there's only five pages left. + +SHIPUCHIN. Excellent. Then it will be ready by three? + +KHIRIN. If nothing occurs to disturb me, I'll get it done. Nothing +of any importance is now left. + +SHIPUCHIN. Splendid. Splendid, as my name's Shipuchin! The general +meeting will be at four. If you please, my dear fellow. Give me the +first half, I'll peruse it. ... Quick. ... [Takes the report] I +base enormous hopes on this report. It's my _profession de foi_, +or, better still, my firework. [Note: The actual word employed.] My +firework, as my name's Shipuchin! [Sits and reads the report to +himself] I'm hellishly tired. ... My gout kept on giving me trouble +last night, all the morning I was running about, and then these +excitements, ovations, agitations ... I'm tired! + +KHIRIN. Two ... nought ... nought ... three ... nine ... two ... +nought. I can't see straight after all these figures. ... Three ... +one ... six ... four ... one ... five. ... [Uses the counting-frame.] + +SHIPUCHIN. Another unpleasantness. ... This morning your wife came +to see me and complained about you once again. Said that last night +you threatened her and her sister with a knife. Kusma Nicolaievitch, +what do you mean by that? Oh, oh! + +KHIRIN. [Rudely] As it's an anniversary, Andrey Andreyevitch, I'll +ask for a special favour. Please, even if it's only out of respect +for my toil, don't interfere in my family life. Please! + +SHIPUCHIN. [Sighs] Yours is an impossible character, Kusma +Nicolaievitch! You're an excellent and respected man, but you +behave to women like some scoundrel. Yes, really. I don't +understand why you hate them so? + +KHIRIN. I wish I could understand why you love them so! [Pause.] + +SHIPUCHIN. The employees have just presented me with an album; and +the Directors, as I've heard, are going to give me an address and a +silver loving-cup. ... [Playing with his monocle] Very nice, as my +name's Shipuchin! It isn't excessive. A certain pomp is essential +to the reputation of the Bank, devil take it! You know everything, +of course. ... I composed the address myself, and I bought the cup +myself, too. ... Well, then there was 45 roubles for the cover of +the address, but you can't do without that. They'd never have +thought of it for themselves. [Looks round] Look at the furniture! +Just look at it! They say I'm stingy, that all I want is that the +locks on the doors should be polished, that the employees should +wear fashionable ties, and that a fat hall-porter should stand by +the door. No, no, sirs. Polished locks and a fat porter mean a good +deal. I can behave as I like at home, eat and sleep like a pig, get +drunk. ... + +KHIRIN. Please don't make hints. + +SHIPUCHIN. Nobody's making hints! What an impossible character +yours is. ... As I was saying, at home I can live like a tradesman, +a _parvenu_, and be up to any games I like, but here everything +must be _en grand_. This is a Bank! Here every detail must +_imponiren_, so to speak, and have a majestic appearance. [He picks +up a paper from the floor and throws it into the fireplace] My +service to the Bank has been just this--I've raised its reputation. +A thing of immense importance is tone! Immense, as my name's +Shipuchin! [Looks over KHIRIN] My dear man, a deputation of +shareholders may come here any moment, and there you are in felt +boots, wearing a scarf ... in some absurdly coloured jacket. ... +You might have put on a frock-coat, or at any rate a dark jacket. ... + +KHIRIN. My health matters more to me than your shareholders. I've +an inflammation all over me. + +SHIPUCHIN. [Excitedly] But you will admit that it's untidy! You +spoil the _ensemble_! + +KHIRIN. If the deputation comes I can go and hide myself. It won't +matter if ... seven ... one ... seven ... two ... one ... five ... +nought. I don't like untidiness myself. ... Seven ... two ... nine ... +[Uses the counting-frame] I can't stand untidiness! It would have +been wiser of you not to have invited ladies to to-day's +anniversary dinner. ... + +SHIPUCHIN. Oh, that's nothing. + +KHIRIN. I know that you're going to have the hall filled with them +to-night to make a good show, but you look out, or they'll spoil +everything. They cause all sorts of mischief and disorder. + +SHIPUCHIN. On the contrary, feminine society elevates! + +KHIRIN. Yes. ... Your wife seems intelligent, but on the Monday of +last week she let something off that upset me for two days. In +front of a lot of people she suddenly asks: "Is it true that at our +Bank my husband bought up a lot of the shares of the Driazhsky-Priazhsky +Bank, which have been falling on exchange? My husband is so annoyed +about it!" This in front of people. Why do you tell them everything, +I don't understand. Do you want them to get you into serious trouble? + +SHIPUCHIN. Well, that's enough, enough! All that's too dull for an +anniversary. Which reminds me, by the way. [Looks at the time] My +wife ought to be here soon. I really ought to have gone to the +station, to meet the poor little thing, but there's no time. ... +and I'm tired. I must say I'm not glad of her! That is to say, I am +glad, but I'd be gladder if she only stayed another couple of days +with her mother. She'll want me to spend the whole evening with her +to-night, whereas we have arranged a little excursion for +ourselves. ... [Shivers] Oh, my nerves have already started dancing +me about. They are so strained that I think the very smallest +trifle would be enough to make me break into tears! No, I must be +strong, as my name's Shipuchin! + +[Enter TATIANA ALEXEYEVNA SHIPUCHIN in a waterproof, with a little +travelling satchel slung across her shoulder.] + +SHIPUCHIN. Ah! In the nick of time! + +TATIANA ALEXEYEVNA. Darling! + +[Runs to her husband: a prolonged kiss.] + +SHIPUCHIN. We were only speaking of you just now! [Looks at his +watch.] + +TATIANA ALEXEYEVNA. [Panting] Were you very dull without me? Are +you well? I haven't been home yet, I came here straight from the +station. I've a lot, a lot to tell you. ... I couldn't wait. ... I +shan't take off my clothes, I'll only stay a minute. [To KHIRIN] +Good morning, Kusma Nicolaievitch! [To her husband] Is everything +all right at home? + +SHIPUCHIN. Yes, quite. And, you know, you've got to look plumper +and better this week. ... Well, what sort of a time did you have? + +TATIANA ALEXEYEVNA. Splendid. Mamma and Katya send their regards. +Vassili Andreitch sends you a kiss. [Kisses him] Aunt sends you a +jar of jam, and is annoyed because you don't write. Zina sends you +a kiss. [Kisses.] Oh, if you knew what's happened. If you only +knew! I'm even frightened to tell you! Oh, if you only knew! But I +see by your eyes that you're sorry I came! + +SHIPUCHIN. On the contrary. ... Darling. ... [Kisses her.] + +[KHIRIN coughs angrily.] + +TATIANA ALEXEYEVNA. Oh, poor Katya, poor Katya! I'm so sorry for +her, so sorry for her. + +SHIPUCHIN. This is the Bank's anniversary to-day, darling, we may +get a deputation of the shareholders at any moment, and you're not +dressed. + +TATIANA ALEXEYEVNA. Oh, yes, the anniversary! I congratulate you, +gentlemen. I wish you. ... So it means that to-day's the day of the +meeting, the dinner. ... That's good. And do you remember that +beautiful address which you spent such a long time composing for +the shareholders? Will it be read to-day? + +[KHIRIN coughs angrily.] + +SHIPUCHIN. [Confused] My dear, we don't talk about these things. +You'd really better go home. + +TATIANA ALEXEYEVNA. In a minute, in a minute. I'll tell you +everything in one minute and go. I'll tell you from the very +beginning. Well. ... When you were seeing me off, you remember I +was sitting next to that stout lady, and I began to read. I don't +like to talk in the train. I read for three stations and didn't say +a word to anyone. ... Well, then the evening set in, and I felt so +mournful, you know, with such sad thoughts! A young man was sitting +opposite me--not a bad-looking fellow, a brunette. ... Well, we +fell into conversation. ... A sailor came along then, then some +student or other. ... [Laughs] I told them that I wasn't married ... +and they did look after me! We chattered till midnight, the +brunette kept on telling the most awfully funny stories, and the +sailor kept on singing. My chest began to ache from laughing. And +when the sailor--oh, those sailors!--when he got to know my name +was TATIANA, you know what he sang? [Sings in a bass voice] "Onegin +don't let me conceal it, I love Tatiana madly!" [Note: From the +Opera _Evgeni Onegin_--words by Pushkin.] [Roars with laughter.] + +[KHIRIN coughs angrily.] + +SHIPUCHIN. Tania, dear, you're disturbing Kusma Nicolaievitch. Go +home, dear. ... Later on. ... + +TATIANA ALEXEYEVNA. No, no, let him hear if he wants to, it's +awfully interesting. I'll end in a minute. Serezha came to meet me +at the station. Some young man or other turns up, an inspector of +taxes, I think ... quite handsome, especially his eyes. ... Serezha +introduced me, and the three of us rode off together. ... It was +lovely weather. ... + +[Voices behind the stage: "You can't, you can't! What do you want?" +Enter MERCHUTKINA, waving her arms about.] + +MERCHUTKINA. What are you dragging at me for. What else! I want him +himself! [To SHIPUCHIN] I have the honour, your excellency ... I am +the wife of a civil servant, Nastasya Fyodorovna Merchutkina. + +SHIPUCHIN. What do you want? + +MERCHUTKINA. Well, you see, your excellency, my husband has been +ill for five months, and while he was at home, getting better, he +was suddenly dismissed for no reason, your excellency, and when I +went to get his salary, they, you see, deducted 24 roubles 36 +copecks from it. What for? I ask. They said, "Well, he drew it from +the employees' account, and the others had to make it up." How can +that be? How could he draw anything without my permission? No, your +excellency! I'm a poor woman ... my lodgers are all I have to live +on. ... I'm weak and defenceless. ... Everybody does me some harm, +and nobody has a kind word for me. + +SHIPUCHIN. Excuse me. [Takes a petition from her and reads it +standing.] + +TATIANA ALEXEYEVNA. [To KHIRIN] Yes, but first we. ... Last week I +suddenly received a letter from my mother. She writes that a +certain Grendilevsky has proposed to my sister Katya. A nice, +modest, young man, but with no means of his own, and no assured +position. And, unfortunately, just think of it, Katya is absolutely +gone on him. What's to be done? Mamma writes telling me to come at +once and influence Katya. ... + +KHIRIN. [Angrily] Excuse me, you've made me lose my place! You go +talking about your mamma and Katya, and I understand nothing; and +I've lost my place. + +TATIANA ALEXEYEVNA. What does that matter? You listen when a lady +is talking to you! Why are you so angry to-day? Are you in love? +[Laughs.] + +SHIPUCHIN. [To MERCHUTKINA] Excuse me, but what is this? I can't +make head or tail of it. + +TATIANA ALEXEYEVNA. Are you in love? Aha! You're blushing! + +SHIPUCHIN. [To his wife] Tanya, dear, do go out into the public +office for a moment. I shan't be long. + +TATIANA ALEXEYEVNA. All right. [Goes out.] + +SHIPUCHIN. I don't understand anything of this. You've obviously +come to the wrong place, madam. Your petition doesn't concern us at +all. You should go to the department in which your husband was +employed. + +MERCHUTKINA. I've been there a good many times these five months, +and they wouldn't even look at my petition. I'd given up all hopes, +but, thanks to my son-in-law, Boris Matveyitch, I thought of coming +to you. "You go, mother," he says, "and apply to Mr. Shipuchin, +he's an influential man and can do anything." Help me, your +excellency! + +SHIPUCHIN. We can't do anything for you, Mrs. Merchutkina. You must +understand that your husband, so far as I can gather, was in the +employ of the Army Medical Department, while this is a private, +commercial concern, a bank. Don't you understand that? + +MERCHUTKINA. Your excellency, I can produce a doctor's certificate +of my husband's illness. Here it is, just look at it. ... + +SHIPUCHIN. [Irritated] That's all right; I quite believe you, but +it's not our business. [Behind the scene, TATIANA ALEXEYEVNA'S +laughter is heard, then a man's. SHIPUCHIN glances at the door] +She's disturbing the employees. [To MERCHUTKINA] It's strange and +it's even silly. Surely your husband knows where you ought to +apply? + +MERCHUTKINA. Your excellency, I don't let him know anything. He +just cried out: "It isn't your business! Get out of this!" And ... + +SHIPUCHIN. Madam, I repeat, your husband was in the employ of the +Army Medical Department, and this is a bank, a private, commercial +concern. + +MERCHUTKINA. Yes, yes, yes. ... I understand, my dear. In that +case, your excellency, just order them to pay me 15 roubles! I +don't mind taking that to be going on with. + +SHIPUCHIN. [Sighs] Ouf! + +KHIRIN. Andrey Andreyevitch, I'll never finish the report at this +rate! + +SHIPUCHIN. One moment. [To MERCHUTKINA] I can't get any sense out +of you. But do understand that your taking this business here is as +absurd as if you took a divorce petition to a chemist's or into a +gold assay office. [Knock at the door. The voice of TATIANA +ALEXEYEVNA is heard, "Can I come in, Andrey?" SHIPUCHIN shouts] +Just wait one minute, dear! [To MERCHUTKINA] What has it got to do +with us if you haven't been paid? As it happens, madam, this is an +anniversary to-day, we're busy ... and somebody may be coming here +at any moment. ... Excuse me. ... + +MERCHUTKINA. Your excellency, have pity on me, an orphan! I'm a +weak, defenceless woman. ... I'm tired to death . ... I'm having +trouble with my lodgers, and on account of my husband, and I've got +the house to look after, and my son-in-law is out of work. ... + +SHIPUCHIN. Mrs. Merchutkina, I ... No, excuse me, I can't talk to +you! My head's even in a whirl. ... You are disturbing us and +making us waste our time. [Sighs, aside] What a business, as my +name's Shipuchin! [To KHIRIN] Kusma Nicolaievitch, will you please +explain to Mrs. Merchutkina. [Waves his hand and goes out into +public department.] + +KHIRIN. [Approaching MERCHUTKINA, angrily] What do you want? + +MERCHUTKINA. I'm a weak, defenceless woman. ... I may look all +right, but if you were to take me to pieces you wouldn't find a +single healthy bit in me! I can hardly stand on my legs, and I've +lost my appetite. I drank my coffee to-day and got no pleasure out +of it. + +KHIRIN. I ask you, what do you want? + +MERCHUTKINA. Tell them, my dear, to give me 15 roubles, and a month +later will do for the rest. + +KHIRIN. But haven't you been told perfectly plainly that this is a +bank! + +MERCHUTKINA. Yes, yes. ... And if you like I can show you the +doctor's certificate. + +KHIRIN. Have you got a head on your shoulders, or what? + +MERCHUTKINA. My dear, I'm asking for what's mine by law. I don't +want what isn't mine. + +KHIRIN. I ask you, madam, have you got a head on your shoulders, or +what? Well, devil take me, I haven't any time to talk to you! I'm +busy. ... [Points to the door] That way, please! + +MERCHUTKINA. [Surprised] And where's the money? + +KHIRIN. You haven't a head, but this [Taps the table and then +points to his forehead.] + +MERCHUTKINA. [Offended] What? Well, never mind, never mind. ... You +can do that to your own wife, but I'm the wife of a civil servant. ... +You can't do that to me! + +KHIRIN. [Losing his temper] Get out of this! + +MERCHUTKINA. No, no, no ... none of that! + +KHIRIN. If you don't get out this second, I'll call for the +hall-porter! Get out! [Stamping.] + +MERCHUTKINA. Never mind, never mind! I'm not afraid! I've seen the +like of you before! Miser! + +KHIRIN. I don't think I've ever seen a more awful woman in my life. ... +Ouf! It's given me a headache. ... [Breathing heavily] I tell you +once more ... do you hear me? If you don't get out of this, you old +devil, I'll grind you into powder! I've got such a character that +I'm perfectly capable of laming you for life! I can commit a crime! + +MERCHUTKINA. I've heard barking dogs before. I'm not afraid. I've +seen the like of you before. + +KHIRIN. [In despair] I can't stand it! I'm ill! I can't! [Sits down +at his desk] They've let the Bank get filled with women, and I +can't finish my report! I can't. + +MERCHUTKINA. I don't want anybody else's money, but my own, +according to law. You ought to be ashamed of yourself! Sitting in a +government office in felt boots. ... + +[Enter SHIPUCHIN and TATIANA ALEXEYEVNA.] + +TATIANA ALEXEYEVNA. [Following her husband] We spent the evening at +the Berezhnitskys. Katya was wearing a sky-blue frock of foulard +silk, cut low at the neck. ... She looks very well with her hair +done over her head, and I did her hair myself. ... She was +perfectly fascinating. ... + +SHIPUCHIN. [Who has had enough of it already] Yes, yes ... +fascinating. ... They may be here any moment. ... + +MERCHUTKINA. Your excellency! + +SHIPUCHIN. [Dully] What else? What do you want? + +MERCHUTKINA. Your excellency! [Points to KHIRIN] This man ... this +man tapped the table with his finger, and then his head. ... You +told him to look after my affair, but he insults me and says all +sorts of things. I'm a weak, defenceless woman. ... + +SHIPUCHIN. All right, madam, I'll see to it ... and take the +necessary steps. ... Go away now ... later on! [Aside] My gout's +coming on! + +KHIRIN. [In a low tone to SHIPUCHIN] Andrey Andreyevitch, send for +the hall-porter and have her turned out neck and crop! What else +can we do? + +SHIPUCHIN. [Frightened] No, no! She'll kick up a row and we aren't +the only people in the building. + +MERCHUTKINA. Your excellency. + +KHIRIN. [In a tearful voice] But I've got to finish my report! I +won't have time! I won't! + +MERCHUTKINA. Your excellency, when shall I have the money? I want +it now. + +SHIPUCHIN. [Aside, in dismay] A re-mark-ab-ly beastly woman! +[Politely] Madam, I've already told you, this is a bank, a private, +commercial concern. + +MERCHUTKINA. Be a father to me, your excellency. ... If the +doctor's certificate isn't enough, I can get you another from the +police. Tell them to give me the money! + +SHIPUCHIN. [Panting] Ouf! + +TATIANA ALEXEYEVNA. [To MERCHUTKINA] Mother, haven't you already +been told that you're disturbing them? What right have you? + +MERCHUTKINA. Mother, beautiful one, nobody will help me. All I do +is to eat and drink, and just now I didn't enjoy my coffee at all. + +SHIPUCHIN. [Exhausted] How much do you want? + +MERCHUTKINA. 24 roubles 36 copecks. + +SHIPUCHIN. All right! [Takes a 25-rouble note out of his pocket-book +and gives it to her] Here are 25 roubles. Take it and ... go! + +[KHIRIN coughs angrily.] + +MERCHUTKINA. I thank you very humbly, your excellency. [Hides the +money.] + +TATIANA ALEXEYEVNA. [Sits by her husband] It's time I went home. ... +[Looks at watch] But I haven't done yet. ... I'll finish in one +minute and go away. ... What a time we had! Yes, what a time! We +went to spend the evening at the Berezhnitskys. ... It was all +right, quite fun, but nothing in particular. ... Katya's devoted +Grendilevsky was there, of course. ... Well, I talked to Katya, +cried, and induced her to talk to Grendilevsky and refuse him. +Well, I thought, everything's, settled the best possible way; I've +quieted mamma down, saved Katya, and can be quiet myself. ... What +do you think? Katya and I were going along the avenue, just before +supper, and suddenly ... [Excitedly] And suddenly we heard a shot. ... +No, I can't talk about it calmly! [Waves her handkerchief] No, I +can't! + +SHIPUCHIN. [Sighs] Ouf! + +TATIANA ALEXEYEVNA. [Weeps] We ran to the summer-house, and there ... +there poor Grendilevsky was lying ... with a pistol in his hand. ... + +SHIPUCHIN. No, I can't stand this! I can't stand it! [To +MERCHUTKINA] What else do you want? + +MERCHUTKINA. Your excellency, can't my husband go back to his job? + +TATIANA ALEXEYEVNA. [Weeping] He'd shot himself right in the heart ... +here. ... And the poor man had fallen down senseless. ... And he +was awfully frightened, as he lay there ... and asked for a doctor. +A doctor came soon ... and saved the unhappy man. ... + +MERCHUTKINA. Your excellency, can't my husband go back to his job? + +SHIPUCHIN. No, I can't stand this! [Weeps] I can't stand it! +[Stretches out both his hands in despair to KHIRIN] Drive her away! +Drive her away, I implore you! + +KHIRIN. [Goes up to TATIANA ALEXEYEVNA] Get out of this! + +SHIPUCHIN. Not her, but this one ... this awful woman. ... [Points] +That one! + +KHIRIN. [Not understanding, to TATIANA ALEXEYEVNA] Get out of this! +[Stamps] Get out! + +TATIANA ALEXEYEVNA. What? What are you doing? Have you taken leave +of your senses? + +SHIPUCHIN. It's awful? I'm a miserable man! Drive her out! Out with +her! + +KHIRIN. [To TATIANA ALEXEYEVNA] Out of it! I'll cripple you! I'll +knock you out of shape! I'll break the law! + +TATIANA ALEXEYEVNA. [Running from him; he chases her] How dare you! +You impudent fellow! [Shouts] Andrey! Help! Andrey! [Screams.] + +SHIPUCHIN. [Chasing them] Stop! I implore you! Not such a noise? +Have pity on me! + +KHIRIN. [Chasing MERCHUTKINA] Out of this! Catch her! Hit her! Cut +her into pieces! + +SHIPUCHIN. [Shouts] Stop! I ask you! I implore you! + +MERCHUTKINA. Little fathers ... little fathers! [Screams] Little +fathers! ... + +TATIANA ALEXEYEVNA. [Shouts] Help! Help! ... Oh, oh ... I'm sick, +I'm sick! [Jumps on to a chair, then falls on to the sofa and +groans as if in a faint.] + +KHIRIN. [Chasing MERCHUTKINA] Hit her! Beat her! Cut her to pieces! + +MERCHUTKINA. Oh, oh ... little fathers, it's all dark before me! +Ah! [Falls senseless into SHIPUCHIN'S arms. There is a knock at the +door; a VOICE announces THE DEPUTATION] The deputation ... +reputation ... occupation ... + +KHIRIN. [Stamps] Get out of it, devil take me! [Turns up his +sleeves] Give her to me: I may break the law! + +[A deputation of five men enters; they all wear frockcoats. One +carries the velvet-covered address, another, the loving-cup. +Employees look in at the door, from the public department. TATIANA +ALEXEYEVNA on the sofa, and MERCHUTKINA in SHIPUCHIN'S arms are +both groaning.] + +ONE OF THE DEPUTATION. [Reads aloud] "Deeply respected and dear +Andrey Andreyevitch! Throwing a retrospective glance at the past +history of our financial administration, and reviewing in our minds +its gradual development, we receive an extremely satisfactory +impression. It is true that in the first period of its existence, +the inconsiderable amount of its capital, and the absence of +serious operations of any description, and also the indefinite aims +of this bank, made us attach an extreme importance to the question +raised by Hamlet, 'To be or not to be,' and at one time there were +even voices to be heard demanding our liquidation. But at that +moment you become the head of our concern. Your knowledge, +energies, and your native tact were the causes of extraordinary +success and widespread extension. The reputation of the bank ... +[Coughs] reputation of the bank ... + +MERCHUTKINA. [Groans] Oh! Oh! + +TATIANA ALEXEYEVNA. [Groans] Water! Water! + +THE MEMBER OF THE DEPUTATION. [Continues] The reputation [Coughs] ... +the reputation of the bank has been raised by you to such a height +that we are now the rivals of the best foreign concerns. + +SHIPUCHIN. Deputation ... reputation ... occupation. ... Two +friends that had a walk at night, held converse by the pale +moonlight. ... Oh tell me not, that youth is vain, that jealousy +has turned my brain. + +THE MEMBER OF THE DEPUTATION. [Continues in confusion] Then, +throwing an objective glance at the present condition of things, +we, deeply respected and dear Andrey Andreyevitch ... [Lowering his +voice] In that case, we'll do it later on. ... Yes, later on. ..." +[DEPUTATION goes out in confusion.] + +Curtain. + + + +THE THREE SISTERS +A DRAMA IN FOUR ACTS + + +CHARACTERS + +ANDREY SERGEYEVITCH PROSOROV +NATALIA IVANOVA (NATASHA), his fiancee, later his wife (28) +His sisters: +OLGA +MASHA +IRINA +FEODOR ILITCH KULIGIN, high school teacher, married to MASHA (20) +ALEXANDER IGNATEYEVITCH VERSHININ, lieutenant-colonel in charge of +a battery (42) +NICOLAI LVOVITCH TUZENBACH, baron, lieutenant in the army (30) +VASSILI VASSILEVITCH SOLENI, captain +IVAN ROMANOVITCH CHEBUTIKIN, army doctor (60) +ALEXEY PETROVITCH FEDOTIK, sub-lieutenant +VLADIMIR CARLOVITCH RODE, sub-lieutenant +FERAPONT, door-keeper at local council offices, an old man +ANFISA, nurse (80) + + +The action takes place in a provincial town. + +[Ages are stated in brackets.] + +THE THREE SISTERS + + +ACT I + +[In PROSOROV'S house. A sitting-room with pillars; behind is seen a +large dining-room. It is midday, the sun is shining brightly +outside. In the dining-room the table is being laid for lunch.] + +[OLGA, in the regulation blue dress of a teacher at a girl's high +school, is walking about correcting exercise books; MASHA, in a +black dress, with a hat on her knees, sits and reads a book; IRINA, +in white, stands about, with a thoughtful expression.] + +OLGA. It's just a year since father died last May the fifth, on +your name-day, Irina. It was very cold then, and snowing. I thought +I would never survive it, and you were in a dead faint. And now a +year has gone by and we are already thinking about it without pain, +and you are wearing a white dress and your face is happy. [Clock +strikes twelve] And the clock struck just the same way then. +[Pause] I remember that there was music at the funeral, and they +fired a volley in the cemetery. He was a general in command of a +brigade but there were few people present. Of course, it was +raining then, raining hard, and snowing. + +IRINA. Why think about it! + +[BARON TUZENBACH, CHEBUTIKIN and SOLENI appear by the table in the +dining-room, behind the pillars.] + +OLGA. It's so warm to-day that we can keep the windows open, though +the birches are not yet in flower. Father was put in command of a +brigade, and he rode out of Moscow with us eleven years ago. I +remember perfectly that it was early in May and that everything in +Moscow was flowering then. It was warm too, everything was bathed +in sunshine. Eleven years have gone, and I remember everything as +if we rode out only yesterday. Oh, God! When I awoke this morning +and saw all the light and the spring, joy entered my heart, and I +longed passionately to go home. + +CHEBUTIKIN. Will you take a bet on it? + +TUZENBACH. Oh, nonsense. + +[MASHA, lost in a reverie over her book, whistles softly.] + +OLGA. Don't whistle, Masha. How can you! [Pause] I'm always having +headaches from having to go to the High School every day and then +teach till evening. Strange thoughts come to me, as if I were +already an old woman. And really, during these four years that I +have been working here, I have been feeling as if every day my +strength and youth have been squeezed out of me, drop by drop. And +only one desire grows and gains in strength ... + +IRINA. To go away to Moscow. To sell the house, drop everything +here, and go to Moscow ... + +OLGA. Yes! To Moscow, and as soon as possible. + +[CHEBUTIKIN and TUZENBACH laugh.] + +IRINA. I expect Andrey will become a professor, but still, he won't +want to live here. Only poor Masha must go on living here. + +OLGA. Masha can come to Moscow every year, for the whole summer. + +[MASHA is whistling gently.] + +IRINA. Everything will be arranged, please God. [Looks out of the +window] It's nice out to-day. I don't know why I'm so happy: I +remembered this morning that it was my name-day, and I suddenly +felt glad and remembered my childhood, when mother was still with +us. What beautiful thoughts I had, what thoughts! + +OLGA. You're all radiance to-day, I've never seen you look so +lovely. And Masha is pretty, too. Andrey wouldn't be bad-looking, +if he wasn't so stout; it does spoil his appearance. But I've grown +old and very thin, I suppose it's because I get angry with the +girls at school. To-day I'm free. I'm at home. I haven't got a +headache, and I feel younger than I was yesterday. I'm only +twenty-eight. ... All's well, God is everywhere, but it seems to me +that if only I were married and could stay at home all day, it +would be even better. [Pause] I should love my husband. + +TUZENBACH. [To SOLENI] I'm tired of listening to the rot you talk. +[Entering the sitting-room] I forgot to say that Vershinin, our new +lieutenant-colonel of artillery, is coming to see us to-day. [Sits +down to the piano.] + +OLGA. That's good. I'm glad. + +IRINA. Is he old? + +TUZENBACH. Oh, no. Forty or forty-five, at the very outside. [Plays +softly] He seems rather a good sort. He's certainly no fool, only +he likes to hear himself speak. + +IRINA. Is he interesting? + +TUZENBACH. Oh, he's all right, but there's his wife, his mother-in-law, +and two daughters. This is his second wife. He pays calls and tells +everybody that he's got a wife and two daughters. He'll tell you so +here. The wife isn't all there, she does her hair like a flapper +and gushes extremely. She talks philosophy and tries to commit +suicide every now and again, apparently in order to annoy her +husband. I should have left her long ago, but he bears up +patiently, and just grumbles. + +SOLENI. [Enters with CHEBUTIKIN from the dining-room] With one hand +I can only lift fifty-four pounds, but with both hands I can lift +180, or even 200 pounds. From this I conclude that two men are not +twice as strong as one, but three times, perhaps even more. ... + +CHEBUTIKIN. [Reads a newspaper as he walks] If your hair is coming +out ... take an ounce of naphthaline and hail a bottle of spirit ... +dissolve and use daily. ... [Makes a note in his pocket diary] When +found make a note of! Not that I want it though. ... [Crosses it +out] It doesn't matter. + +IRINA. Ivan Romanovitch, dear Ivan Romanovitch! + +CHEBUTIKIN. What does my own little girl want? + +IRINA. Ivan Romanovitch, dear Ivan Romanovitch! I feel as if I were +sailing under the broad blue sky with great white birds around me. +Why is that? Why? + +CHEBUTIKIN. [Kisses her hands, tenderly] My white bird. ... + +IRINA. When I woke up to-day and got up and dressed myself, I +suddenly began to feel as if everything in this life was open to +me, and that I knew how I must live. Dear Ivan Romanovitch, I know +everything. A man must work, toil in the sweat of his brow, whoever +he may be, for that is the meaning and object of his life, his +happiness, his enthusiasm. How fine it is to be a workman who gets +up at daybreak and breaks stones in the street, or a shepherd, or a +schoolmaster, who teaches children, or an engine-driver on the +railway. ... My God, let alone a man, it's better to be an ox, or +just a horse, so long as it can work, than a young woman who wakes +up at twelve o'clock, has her coffee in bed, and then spends two +hours dressing. ... Oh it's awful! Sometimes when it's hot, your +thirst can be just as tiresome as my need for work. And if I don't +get up early in future and work, Ivan Romanovitch, then you may +refuse me your friendship. + +CHEBUTIKIN. [Tenderly] I'll refuse, I'll refuse. ... + +OLGA. Father used to make us get up at seven. Now Irina wakes at +seven and lies and meditates about something till nine at least. +And she looks so serious! [Laughs.] + +IRINA. You're so used to seeing me as a little girl that it seems +queer to you when my face is serious. I'm twenty! + +TUZENBACH. How well I can understand that craving for work, oh God! +I've never worked once in my life. I was born in Petersburg, a +chilly, lazy place, in a family which never knew what work or worry +meant. I remember that when I used to come home from my regiment, a +footman used to have to pull off my boots while I fidgeted and my +mother looked on in adoration and wondered why other people didn't +see me in the same light. They shielded me from work; but only just +in time! A new age is dawning, the people are marching on us all, a +powerful, health-giving storm is gathering, it is drawing near, +soon it will be upon us and it will drive away laziness, +indifference, the prejudice against labour, and rotten dullness +from our society. I shall work, and in twenty-five or thirty years, +every man will have to work. Every one! + +CHEBUTIKIN. I shan't work. + +TUZENBACH. You don't matter. + +SOLENI. In twenty-five years' time, we shall all be dead, thank the +Lord. In two or three years' time apoplexy will carry you off, or +else I'll blow your brains out, my pet. [Takes a scent-bottle out +of his pocket and sprinkles his chest and hands.] + +CHEBUTIKIN. [Laughs] It's quite true, I never have worked. After I +came down from the university I never stirred a finger or opened a +book, I just read the papers. ... [Takes another newspaper out of +his pocket] Here we are. ... I've learnt from the papers that there +used to be one, Dobrolubov [Note: Dobroluboy (1836-81), in spite +of the shortness of his career, established himself as one of the +classic literary critics of Russia], for instance, but what he +wrote--I don't know ... God only knows. ... [Somebody is heard +tapping on the floor from below] There. ... They're calling me +downstairs, somebody's come to see me. I'll be back in a minute ... +won't be long. ... [Exit hurriedly, scratching his beard.] + +IRINA. He's up to something. + +TUZENBACH. Yes, he looked so pleased as he went out that I'm pretty +certain he'll bring you a present in a moment. + +IRINA. How unpleasant! + +OLGA. Yes, it's awful. He's always doing silly things. + +MASHA. "There stands a green oak by the sea. + And a chain of bright gold is around it ... + And a chain of bright gold is around it. ..." +[Gets up and sings softly.] + +OLGA. You're not very bright to-day, Masha. [MASHA sings, putting +on her hat] Where are you off to? + +MASHA. Home. + +IRINA. That's odd. ... + +TUZENBACH. On a name-day, too! + +MASHA. It doesn't matter. I'll come in the evening. Good-bye, dear. +[Kisses MASHA] Many happy returns, though I've said it before. In +the old days when father was alive, every time we had a name-day, +thirty or forty officers used to come, and there was lots of noise +and fun, and to-day there's only a man and a half, and it's as +quiet as a desert ... I'm off ... I've got the hump to-day, and am +not at all cheerful, so don't you mind me. [Laughs through her +tears] We'll have a talk later on, but good-bye for the present, my +dear; I'll go somewhere. + +IRINA. [Displeased] You are queer. ... + +OLGA. [Crying] I understand you, Masha. + +SOLENI. When a man talks philosophy, well, it is philosophy or at +any rate sophistry; but when a woman, or two women, talk +philosophy--it's all my eye. + +MASHA. What do you mean by that, you very awful man? + +SOLENI. Oh, nothing. You came down on me before I could say ... +help! [Pause.] + +MASHA. [Angrily, to OLGA] Don't cry! + +[Enter ANFISA and FERAPONT with a cake.] + +ANFISA. This way, my dear. Come in, your feet are clean. [To IRINA] +From the District Council, from Mihail Ivanitch Protopopov ... a +cake. + +IRINA. Thank you. Please thank him. [Takes the cake.] + +FERAPONT. What? + +IRINA. [Louder] Please thank him. + +OLGA. Give him a pie, nurse. Ferapont, go, she'll give you a pie. + +FERAPONT. What? + +ANFISA. Come on, gran'fer, Ferapont Spiridonitch. Come on. +[Exeunt.] + +MASHA. I don't like this Mihail Potapitch or Ivanitch, Protopopov. +We oughtn't to invite him here. + +IRINA. I never asked him. + +MASHA. That's all right. + +[Enter CHEBUTIKIN followed by a soldier with a silver samovar; +there is a rumble of dissatisfied surprise.] + +OLGA. [Covers her face with her hands] A samovar! That's awful! +[Exit into the dining-room, to the table.] + +IRINA. My dear Ivan Romanovitch, what are you doing! + +TUZENBACH. [Laughs] I told you so! + +MASHA. Ivan Romanovitch, you are simply shameless! + +CHEBUTIKIN. My dear good girl, you are the only thing, and the +dearest thing I have in the world. I'll soon be sixty. I'm an old +man, a lonely worthless old man. The only good thing in me is my +love for you, and if it hadn't been for that, I would have been +dead long ago. ... [To IRINA] My dear little girl, I've known you +since the day of your birth, I've carried you in my arms ... I +loved your dead mother. ... + +MASHA. But your presents are so expensive! + +CHEBUTIKIN. [Angrily, through his tears] Expensive presents. ... +You really, are! ... [To the orderly] Take the samovar in there. ... +[Teasing] Expensive presents! + +[The orderly goes into the dining-room with the samovar.] + +ANFISA. [Enters and crosses stage] My dear, there's a strange +Colonel come! He's taken off his coat already. Children, he's +coming here. Irina darling, you'll be a nice and polite little +girl, won't you. ... Should have lunched a long time ago. ... Oh, +Lord. ... [Exit.] + +TUZENBACH. It must be Vershinin. [Enter VERSHININ] Lieutenant-Colonel +Vershinin! + +VERSHININ. [To MASHA and IRINA] I have the honour to introduce +myself, my name is Vershinin. I am very glad indeed to be able to +come at last. How you've grown! Oh! oh! + +IRINA. Please sit down. We're very glad you've come. + +VERSHININ. [Gaily] I am glad, very glad! But there are three +sisters, surely. I remember--three little girls. I forget your +faces, but your father, Colonel Prosorov, used to have three little +girls, I remember that perfectly, I saw them with my own eyes. How +time does fly! Oh, dear, how it flies! + +TUZENBACH. Alexander Ignateyevitch comes from Moscow. + +IRINA. From Moscow? Are you from Moscow? + +VERSHININ. Yes, that's so. Your father used to be in charge of a +battery there, and I was an officer in the same brigade. [To MASHA] +I seem to remember your face a little. + +MASHA. I don't remember you. + +IRINA. Olga! Olga! [Shouts into the dining-room] Olga! Come along! +[OLGA enters from the dining-room] Lieutenant Colonel Vershinin +comes from Moscow, as it happens. + +VERSHININ. I take it that you are Olga Sergeyevna, the eldest, and +that you are Maria ... and you are Irina, the youngest. ... + +OLGA. So you come from Moscow? + +VERSHININ. Yes. I went to school in Moscow and began my service +there; I was there for a long time until at last I got my battery +and moved over here, as you see. I don't really remember you, I +only remember that there used to be three sisters. I remember your +father well; I have only to shut my eyes to see him as he was. I +used to come to your house in Moscow. ... + +OLGA. I used to think I remembered everybody, but ... + +VERSHININ. My name is Alexander Ignateyevitch. + +IRINA. Alexander Ignateyevitch, you've come from Moscow. That is +really quite a surprise! + +OLGA. We are going to live there, you see. + +IRINA. We think we may be there this autumn. It's our native town, +we were born there. In Old Basmanni Road. ... [They both laugh for +joy.] + +MASHA. We've unexpectedly met a fellow countryman. [Briskly] I +remember: Do you remember, Olga, they used to speak at home of a +"lovelorn Major." You were only a Lieutenant then, and in love with +somebody, but for some reason they always called you a Major for +fun. + +VERSHININ. [Laughs] That's it ... the lovelorn Major, that's got it! + +MASHA. You only wore moustaches then. You have grown older! +[Through her tears] You have grown older! + +VERSHININ. Yes, when they used to call me the lovelorn Major, I was +young and in love. I've grown out of both now. + +OLGA. But you haven't a single white hair yet. You're older, but +you're not yet old. + +VERSHININ. I'm forty-two, anyway. Have you been away from Moscow +long? + +IRINA. Eleven years. What are you crying for, Masha, you little +fool. ... [Crying] And I'm crying too. + +MASHA. It's all right. And where did you live? + +VERSHININ. Old Basmanni Road. + +OLGA. Same as we. + +VERSHININ. Once I used to live in German Street. That was when the +Red Barracks were my headquarters. There's an ugly bridge in +between, where the water rushes underneath. One gets melancholy +when one is alone there. [Pause] Here the river is so wide and +fine! It's a splendid river! + +OLGA. Yes, but it's so cold. It's very cold here, and the midges. ... + +VERSHININ. What are you saying! Here you've got such a fine healthy +Russian climate. You've a forest, a river ... and birches. Dear, +modest birches, I like them more than any other tree. It's good to +live here. Only it's odd that the railway station should be +thirteen miles away. ... Nobody knows why. + +SOLENI. I know why. [All look at him] Because if it was near it +wouldn't be far off, and if it's far off, it can't be near. [An +awkward pause.] + +TUZENBACH. Funny man. + +OLGA. Now I know who you are. I remember. + +VERSHININ. I used to know your mother. + +CHEBUTIKIN. She was a good woman, rest her soul. + +IRINA. Mother is buried in Moscow. + +OLGA. At the Novo-Devichi Cemetery. + +MASHA. Do you know, I'm beginning to forget her face. We'll be +forgotten in just the same way. + +VERSHININ. Yes, they'll forget us. It's our fate, it can't be +helped. A time will come when everything that seems serious, +significant, or very important to us will be forgotten, or +considered trivial. [Pause] And the curious thing is that we can't +possibly find out what will come to be regarded as great and +important, and what will be feeble, or silly. Didn't the +discoveries of Copernicus, or Columbus, say, seem unnecessary and +ludicrous at first, while wasn't it thought that some rubbish +written by a fool, held all the truth? And it may so happen that +our present existence, with which we are so satisfied, will in time +appear strange, inconvenient, stupid, unclean, perhaps even sinful. ... + +TUZENBACH. Who knows? But on the other hand, they may call our life +noble and honour its memory. We've abolished torture and capital +punishment, we live in security, but how much suffering there is +still! + +SOLENI. [In a feeble voice] There, there. ... The Baron will go +without his dinner if you only let him talk philosophy. + +TUZENBACH. Vassili Vassilevitch, kindly leave me alone. [Changes +his chair] You're very dull, you know. + +SOLENI. [Feebly] There, there, there. + +TUZENBACH. [To VERSHININ] The sufferings we see to-day--there are +so many of them!--still indicate a certain moral improvement in +society. + +VERSHININ. Yes, yes, of course. + +CHEBUTIKIN. You said just now, Baron, that they may call our life +noble; but we are very petty. ... [Stands up] See how little I am. +[Violin played behind.] + +MASHA. That's Andrey playing--our brother. + +IRINA. He's the learned member of the family. I expect he will be a +professor some day. Father was a soldier, but his son chose an +academic career for himself. + +MASHA. That was father's wish. + +OLGA. We ragged him to-day. We think he's a little in love. + +IRINA. To a local lady. She will probably come here to-day. + +MASHA. You should see the way she dresses! Quite prettily, quite +fashionably too, but so badly! Some queer bright yellow skirt with +a wretched little fringe and a red bodice. And such a complexion! +Andrey isn't in love. After all he has taste, he's simply making +fun of us. I heard yesterday that she was going to marry +Protopopov, the chairman of the Local Council. That would do her +nicely. ... [At the side door] Andrey, come here! Just for a +minute, dear! [Enter ANDREY.] + +OLGA. My brother, Andrey Sergeyevitch. + +VERSHININ. My name is Vershinin. + +ANDREY. Mine is Prosorov. [Wipes his perspiring hands] You've come +to take charge of the battery? + +OLGA. Just think, Alexander Ignateyevitch comes from Moscow. + +ANDREY. That's all right. Now my little sisters won't give you any +rest. + +VERSHININ. I've already managed to bore your sisters. + +IRINA. Just look what a nice little photograph frame Andrey gave me +to-day. [Shows it] He made it himself. + +VERSHININ. [Looks at the frame and does not know what to say] Yes. ... +It's a thing that ... + +IRINA. And he made that frame there, on the piano as well. [Andrey +waves his hand and walks away.] + +OLGA. He's got a degree, and plays the violin, and cuts all sorts +of things out of wood, and is really a domestic Admirable Crichton. +Don't go away, Andrey! He's got into a habit of always going away. +Come here! + +[MASHA and IRINA take his arms and laughingly lead him back.] + +MASHA. Come on, come on! + +ANDREY. Please leave me alone. + +MASHA. You are funny. Alexander Ignateyevitch used to be called the +lovelorn Major, but he never minded. + +VERSHININ. Not the least. + +MASHA. I'd like to call you the lovelorn fiddler! + +IRINA. Or the lovelorn professor! + +OLGA. He's in love! little Andrey is in love! + +IRINA. [Applauds] Bravo, Bravo! Encore! Little Andrey is in love. + +CHEBUTIKIN. [Goes up behind ANDREY and takes him round the waist +with both arms] Nature only brought us into the world that we +should love! [Roars with laughter, then sits down and reads a +newspaper which he takes out of his pocket.] + +ANDREY. That's enough, quite enough. ... [Wipes his face] I +couldn't sleep all night and now I can't quite find my feet, so to +speak. I read until four o'clock, then tried to sleep, but nothing +happened. I thought about one thing and another, and then it dawned +and the sun crawled into my bedroom. This summer, while I'm here, I +want to translate a book from the English. ... + +VERSHININ. Do you read English? + +ANDREY. Yes father, rest his soul, educated us almost violently. It +may seem funny and silly, but it's nevertheless true, that after +his death I began to fill out and get rounder, as if my body had +had some great pressure taken off it. Thanks to father, my sisters +and I know French, German, and English, and Irina knows Italian as +well. But we paid dearly for it all! + +MASHA. A knowledge of three languages is an unnecessary luxury in +this town. It isn't even a luxury but a sort of useless extra, like +a sixth finger. We know a lot too much. + +VERSHININ. Well, I say! [Laughs] You know a lot too much! I don't +think there can really be a town so dull and stupid as to have no +place for a clever, cultured person. Let us suppose even that among +the hundred thousand inhabitants of this backward and uneducated +town, there are only three persons like yourself. It stands to +reason that you won't be able to conquer that dark mob around you; +little by little as you grow older you will be bound to give way +and lose yourselves in this crowd of a hundred thousand human +beings; their life will suck you up in itself, but still, you won't +disappear having influenced nobody; later on, others like you will +come, perhaps six of them, then twelve, and so on, until at last +your sort will be in the majority. In two or three hundred years' +time life on this earth will be unimaginably beautiful and +wonderful. Mankind needs such a life, and if it is not ours to-day +then we must look ahead for it, wait, think, prepare for it. We +must see and know more than our fathers and grandfathers saw and +knew. [Laughs] And you complain that you know too much. + +MASHA. [Takes off her hat] I'll stay to lunch. + +IRINA. [Sighs] Yes, all that ought to be written down. + +[ANDREY has gone out quietly.] + +TUZENBACH. You say that many years later on, life on this earth +will be beautiful and wonderful. That's true. But to share in it +now, even though at a distance, we must prepare by work. ... + +VERSHININ. [Gets up] Yes. What a lot of flowers you have. [Looks +round] It's a beautiful flat. I envy you! I've spent my whole life +in rooms with two chairs, one sofa, and fires which always smoke. +I've never had flowers like these in my life. ... [Rubs his hands] +Well, well! + +TUZENBACH. Yes, we must work. You are probably thinking to +yourself: the German lets himself go. But I assure you I'm a +Russian, I can't even speak German. My father belonged to the +Orthodox Church. ... [Pause.] + +VERSHININ. [Walks about the stage] I often wonder: suppose we could +begin life over again, knowing what we were doing? Suppose we could +use one life, already ended, as a sort of rough draft for another? +I think that every one of us would try, more than anything else, +not to repeat himself, at the very least he would rearrange his +manner of life, he would make sure of rooms like these, with +flowers and light ... I have a wife and two daughters, my wife's +health is delicate and so on and so on, and if I had to begin life +all over again I would not marry. ... No, no! + +[Enter KULIGIN in a regulation jacket.] + +KULIGIN. [Going up to IRINA] Dear sister, allow me to congratulate +you on the day sacred to your good angel and to wish you, sincerely +and from the bottom of my heart, good health and all that one can +wish for a girl of your years. And then let me offer you this book +as a present. [Gives it to her] It is the history of our High +School during the last fifty years, written by myself. The book is +worthless, and written because I had nothing to do, but read it all +the same. Good day, gentlemen! [To VERSHININ] My name is Kuligin, I +am a master of the local High School. [Note: He adds that he is a +_Nadvorny Sovetnik_ (almost the same as a German _Hofrat_), an +undistinguished civilian title with no English equivalent.] [To +IRINA] In this book you will find a list of all those who have +taken the full course at our High School during these fifty years. +_Feci quod potui, faciant meliora potentes_. [Kisses MASHA.] + +IRINA. But you gave me one of these at Easter. + +KULIGIN. [Laughs] I couldn't have, surely! You'd better give it +back to me in that case, or else give it to the Colonel. Take it, +Colonel. You'll read it some day when you're bored. + +VERSHININ. Thank you. [Prepares to go] I am extremely happy to have +made the acquaintance of ... + +OLGA. Must you go? No, not yet? + +IRINA. You'll stop and have lunch with us. Please do. + +OLGA. Yes, please! + +VERSHININ. [Bows] I seem to have dropped in on your name-day. Forgive +me, I didn't know, and I didn't offer you my congratulations. [Goes +with OLGA into the dining-room.] + +KULIGIN. To-day is Sunday, the day of rest, so let us rest and +rejoice, each in a manner compatible with his age and disposition. +The carpets will have to be taken up for the summer and put away +till the winter ... Persian powder or naphthaline. ... The Romans +were healthy because they knew both how to work and how to rest, +they had _mens sana in corpore sano_. Their life ran along certain +recognized patterns. Our director says: "The chief thing about each +life is its pattern. Whoever loses his pattern is lost himself"-- +and it's just the same in our daily life. [Takes MASHA by the +waist, laughing] Masha loves me. My wife loves me. And you ought to +put the window curtains away with the carpets. ... I'm feeling +awfully pleased with life to-day. Masha, we've got to be at the +director's at four. They're getting up a walk for the pedagogues +and their families. + +MASHA. I shan't go. + +KULIGIN. [Hurt] My dear Masha, why not? + +MASHA. I'll tell you later. ... [Angrily] All right, I'll go, only +please stand back. ... [Steps away.] + +KULIGIN. And then we're to spend the evening at the director's. In +spite of his ill-health that man tries, above everything else, to +be sociable. A splendid, illuminating personality. A wonderful man. +After yesterday's committee he said to me: "I'm tired, Feodor +Ilitch, I'm tired!" [Looks at the clock, then at his watch] Your +clock is seven minutes fast. "Yes," he said, "I'm tired." [Violin +played off.] + +OLGA. Let's go and have lunch! There's to be a masterpiece of +baking! + +KULIGIN. Oh my dear Olga, my dear. Yesterday I was working till +eleven o'clock at night, and got awfully tired. To-day I'm quite +happy. [Goes into dining-room] My dear ... + +CHEBUTIKIN. [Puts his paper into his pocket, and combs his beard] A +pie? Splendid! + +MASHA. [Severely to CHEBUTIKIN] Only mind; you're not to drink +anything to-day. Do you hear? It's bad for you. + +CHEBUTIKIN. Oh, that's all right. I haven't been drunk for two +years. And it's all the same, anyway! + +MASHA. You're not to dare to drink, all the same. [Angrily, but so +that her husband should not hear] Another dull evening at the +Director's, confound it! + +TUZENBACH. I shouldn't go if I were you. ... It's quite simple. + +CHEBUTIKIN. Don't go. + +MASHA. Yes, "don't go. ..." It's a cursed, unbearable life. ... +[Goes into dining-room.] + +CHEBUTIKIN. [Follows her] It's not so bad. + +SOLENI. [Going into the dining-room] There, there, there. ... + +TUZENBACH. Vassili Vassilevitch, that's enough. Be quiet! + +SOLENI. There, there, there. ... + +KULIGIN. [Gaily] Your health, Colonel! I'm a pedagogue and not +quite at home here. I'm Masha's husband. ... She's a good sort, a +very good sort. + +VERSHININ. I'll have some of this black vodka. ... [Drinks] Your +health! [To OLGA] I'm very comfortable here! + +[Only IRINA and TUZENBACH are now left in the sitting-room.] + +IRINA. Masha's out of sorts to-day. She married when she was +eighteen, when he seemed to her the wisest of men. And now it's +different. He's the kindest man, but not the wisest. + +OLGA. [Impatiently] Andrey, when are you coming? + +ANDREY. [Off] One minute. [Enters and goes to the table.] + +TUZENBACH. What are you thinking about? + +IRINA. I don't like this Soleni of yours and I'm afraid of him. He +only says silly things. + +TUZENBACH. He's a queer man. I'm sorry for him, though he vexes me. +I think he's shy. When there are just the two of us he's quite all +right and very good company; when other people are about he's rough +and hectoring. Don't let's go in, let them have their meal without +us. Let me stay with you. What are you thinking of? [Pause] You're +twenty. I'm not yet thirty. How many years are there left to us, +with their long, long lines of days, filled with my love for you. ... + +IRINA. Nicolai Lvovitch, don't speak to me of love. + +TUZENBACH. [Does not hear] I've a great thirst for life, struggle, +and work, and this thirst has united with my love for you, Irina, +and you're so beautiful, and life seems so beautiful to me! What +are you thinking about? + +IRINA. You say that life is beautiful. Yes, if only it seems so! +The life of us three hasn't been beautiful yet; it has been +stifling us as if it was weeds ... I'm crying. I oughtn't. ... +[Dries her tears, smiles] We must work, work. That is why we are +unhappy and look at the world so sadly; we don't know what work is. +Our parents despised work. ... + +[Enter NATALIA IVANOVA; she wears a pink dress and a green sash.] + +NATASHA. They're already at lunch ... I'm late ... [Carefully +examines herself in a mirror, and puts herself straight] I think my +hair's done all right. ... [Sees IRINA] Dear Irina Sergeyevna, I +congratulate you! [Kisses her firmly and at length] You've so many +visitors, I'm really ashamed. ... How do you do, Baron! + +OLGA. [Enters from dining-room] Here's Natalia Ivanovna. How are +you, dear! [They kiss.] + +NATASHA. Happy returns. I'm awfully shy, you've so many people +here. + +OLGA. All our friends. [Frightened, in an undertone] You're wearing +a green sash! My dear, you shouldn't! + +NATASHA. Is it a sign of anything? + +OLGA. No, it simply doesn't go well ... and it looks so queer. + +NATASHA. [In a tearful voice] Yes? But it isn't really green, it's +too dull for that. [Goes into dining-room with OLGA.] + +[They have all sat down to lunch in the dining-room, the +sitting-room is empty.] + +KULIGIN. I wish you a nice fiancee, Irina. It's quite time you +married. + +CHEBUTIKIN. Natalia Ivanovna, I wish you the same. + +KULIGIN. Natalia Ivanovna has a fiance already. + +MASHA. [Raps with her fork on a plate] Let's all get drunk and make +life purple for once! + +KULIGIN. You've lost three good conduct marks. + +VERSHININ. This is a nice drink. What's it made of? + +SOLENI. Blackbeetles. + +IRINA. [Tearfully] Phoo! How disgusting! + +OLGA. There is to be a roast turkey and a sweet apple pie for +dinner. Thank goodness I can spend all day and the evening at home. +You'll come in the evening, ladies and gentlemen. ... + +VERSHININ. And please may I come in the evening! + +IRINA. Please do. + +NATASHA. They don't stand on ceremony here. + +CHEBUTIKIN. Nature only brought us into the world that we should +love! [Laughs.] + +ANDREY. [Angrily] Please don't! Aren't you tired of it? + +[Enter FEDOTIK and RODE with a large basket of flowers.] + +FEDOTIK. They're lunching already. + +RODE. [Loudly and thickly] Lunching? Yes, so they are. ... + +FEDOTIK. Wait a minute! [Takes a photograph] That's one. No, just a +moment. ... [Takes another] That's two. Now we're ready! + +[They take the basket and go into the dining-room, where they have +a noisy reception.] + +RODE. [Loudly] Congratulations and best wishes! Lovely weather +to-day, simply perfect. Was out walking with the High School +students all the morning. I take their drills. + +FEDOTIK. You may move, Irina Sergeyevna! [Takes a photograph] You +look well to-day. [Takes a humming-top out of his pocket] Here's a +humming-top, by the way. It's got a lovely note! + +IRINA. How awfully nice! + +MASHA. "There stands a green oak by the sea, + And a chain of bright gold is around it ... + And a chain of bright gold is around it ..." +[Tearfully] What am I saying that for? I've had those words running +in my head all day. ... + +KULIGIN. There are thirteen at table! + +RODE. [Aloud] Surely you don't believe in that superstition? +[Laughter.] + +KULIGIN. If there are thirteen at table then it means there are +lovers present. It isn't you, Ivan Romanovitch, hang it all. ... +[Laughter.] + +CHEBUTIKIN. I'm a hardened sinner, but I really don't see why +Natalia Ivanovna should blush. ... + +[Loud laughter; NATASHA runs out into the sitting-room, followed by +ANDREY.] + +ANDREY. Don't pay any attention to them! Wait ... do stop, please. ... + +NATASHA. I'm shy ... I don't know what's the matter with me and +they're all laughing at me. It wasn't nice of me to leave the table +like that, but I can't ... I can't. [Covers her face with her +hands.] + +ANDREY. My dear, I beg you. I implore you not to excite yourself. I +assure you they're only joking, they're kind people. My dear, good +girl, they're all kind and sincere people, and they like both you +and me. Come here to the window, they can't see us here. ... [Looks +round.] + +NATASHA. I'm so unaccustomed to meeting people! + +ANDREY. Oh your youth, your splendid, beautiful youth! My darling, +don't be so excited! Believe me, believe me ... I'm so happy, my +soul is full of love, of ecstasy. ... They don't see us! They +can't! Why, why or when did I fall in love with you--Oh, I can't +understand anything. My dear, my pure darling, be my wife! I love +you, love you ... as never before. ... [They kiss.] + +[Two officers come in and, seeing the lovers kiss, stop in +astonishment.] + +Curtain. + + +ACT II + +[Scene as before. It is 8 p.m. Somebody is heard playing a +concertina outside in' the street. There is no fire. NATALIA +IVANOVNA enters in indoor dress carrying a candle; she stops by the +door which leads into ANDREY'S room.] + +NATASHA. What are you doing, Andrey? Are you reading? It's nothing, +only I. ... [She opens another door, and looks in, then closes it] +Isn't there any fire. ... + +ANDREY. [Enters with book in hand] What are you doing, Natasha? + +NATASHA. I was looking to see if there wasn't a fire. It's +Shrovetide, and the servant is simply beside herself; I must look +out that something doesn't happen. When I came through the +dining-room yesterday midnight, there was a candle burning. I +couldn't get her to tell me who had lighted it. [Puts down her +candle] What's the time? + +ANDREY. [Looks at his watch] A quarter past eight. + +NATASHA. And Olga and Irina aren't in yet. The poor things are +still at work. Olga at the teacher's council, Irina at the +telegraph office. ... [Sighs] I said to your sister this morning, +"Irina, darling, you must take care of yourself." But she pays no +attention. Did you say it was a quarter past eight? I am afraid +little Bobby is quite ill. Why is he so cold? He was feverish +yesterday, but to-day he is quite cold ... I am so frightened! + +ANDREY. It's all right, Natasha. The boy is well. + +NATASHA. Still, I think we ought to put him on a diet. I am so +afraid. And the entertainers were to be here after nine; they had +better not come, Audrey. + +ANDREY. I don't know. After all, they were asked. + +NATASHA. This morning, when the little boy woke up and saw me he +suddenly smiled; that means he knew me. "Good morning, Bobby!" I +said, "good morning, darling." And he laughed. Children understand, +they understand very well. So I'll tell them, Andrey dear, not to +receive the entertainers. + +ANDREY. [Hesitatingly] But what about my sisters. This is their +flat. + +NATASHA. They'll do as I want them. They are so kind. ... [Going] I +ordered sour milk for supper. The doctor says you must eat sour +milk and nothing else, or you won't get thin. [Stops] Bobby is so +cold. I'm afraid his room is too cold for him. It would be nice to +put him into another room till the warm weather comes. Irina's +room, for instance, is just right for a child: it's dry and has the +sun all day. I must tell her, she can share Olga's room. It isn't +as if she was at home in the daytime, she only sleeps here. ... [A +pause] Andrey, darling, why are you so silent? + +ANDREY. I was just thinking. ... There is really nothing to say. ... + +NATASHA. Yes ... there was something I wanted to tell you. ... Oh, +yes. Ferapont has come from the Council offices, he wants to see +you. + +ANDREY. [Yawns] Call him here. + +[NATASHA goes out; ANDREY reads his book, stooping over the candle +she has left behind. FERAPONT enters; he wears a tattered old coat +with the collar up. His ears are muffled.] + +ANDREY. Good morning, grandfather. What have you to say? + +FERAPONT. The Chairman sends a book and some documents or other. +Here. ... [Hands him a book and a packet.] + +ANDREY. Thank you. It's all right. Why couldn't you come earlier? +It's past eight now. + +FERAPONT. What? + +ANDREY. [Louder]. I say you've come late, it's past eight. + +FERAPONT. Yes, yes. I came when it was still light, but they +wouldn't let me in. They said you were busy. Well, what was I to +do. If you're busy, you're busy, and I'm in no hurry. [He thinks +that ANDREY is asking him something] What? + +ANDREY. Nothing. [Looks through the book] To-morrow's Friday. I'm +not supposed to go to work, but I'll come--all the same ... and do +some work. It's dull at home. [Pause] Oh, my dear old man, how +strangely life changes, and how it deceives! To-day, out of sheer +boredom, I took up this book--old university lectures, and I +couldn't help laughing. My God, I'm secretary of the local district +council, the council which has Protopopov for its chairman, yes, +I'm the secretary, and the summit of my ambitions is--to become a +member of the council! I to be a member of the local district +council, I, who dream every night that I'm a professor of Moscow +University, a famous scholar of whom all Russia is proud! + +FERAPONT. I can't tell ... I'm hard of hearing. ... + +ANDREY. If you weren't, I don't suppose I should talk to you. I've +got to talk to somebody, and my wife doesn't understand me, and I'm +a bit afraid of my sisters--I don't know why unless it is that they +may make fun of me and make me feel ashamed ... I don't drink, I +don't like public-houses, but how I should like to be sitting just +now in Tyestov's place in Moscow, or at the Great Moscow, old +fellow! + +FERAPONT. Moscow? That's where a contractor was once telling that +some merchants or other were eating pancakes; one ate forty +pancakes and he went and died, he was saying. Either forty or +fifty, I forget which. + +ANDREY. In Moscow you can sit in an enormous restaurant where you +don't know anybody and where nobody knows you, and you don't feel +all the same that you're a stranger. And here you know everybody +and everybody knows you, and you're a stranger ... and a lonely +stranger. + +FERAPONT. What? And the same contractor was telling--perhaps he was +lying--that there was a cable stretching right across Moscow. + +ANDREY. What for? + +FERAPONT. I can't tell. The contractor said so. + +ANDREY. Rubbish. [He reads] Were you ever in Moscow? + +FERAPONT. [After a pause] No. God did not lead me there. [Pause] +Shall I go? + +ANDREY. You may go. Good-bye. [FERAPONT goes] Good-bye. [Reads] You +can come to-morrow and fetch these documents. ... Go along. ... +[Pause] He's gone. [A ring] Yes, yes. ... [Stretches himself and +slowly goes into his own room.] + +[Behind the scene the nurse is singing a lullaby to the child. +MASHA and VERSHININ come in. While they talk, a maidservant lights +candles and a lamp.] + +MASHA. I don't know. [Pause] I don't know. Of course, habit counts +for a great deal. After father's death, for instance, it took us a +long time to get used to the absence of orderlies. But, apart from +habit, it seems to me in all fairness that, however it may be in +other towns, the best and most-educated people are army men. + +VERSHININ. I'm thirsty. I should like some tea. + +MASHA. [Glancing at her watch] They'll bring some soon. I was given +in marriage when I was eighteen, and I was afraid of my husband +because he was a teacher and I'd only just left school. He then +seemed to me frightfully wise and learned and important. And now, +unfortunately, that has changed. + +VERSHININ. Yes ... yes. + +MASHA. I don't speak of my husband, I've grown used to him, but +civilians in general are so often coarse, impolite, uneducated. +Their rudeness offends me, it angers me. I suffer when I see that a +man isn't quite sufficiently refined, or delicate, or polite. I +simply suffer agonies when I happen to be among schoolmasters, my +husband's colleagues. + +VERSHININ. Yes. ... It seems to me that civilians and army men are +equally interesting, in this town, at any rate. It's all the same! +If you listen to a member of the local intelligentsia, whether to +civilian or military, he will tell you that he's sick of his wife, +sick of his house, sick of his estate, sick of his horses. ... We +Russians are extremely gifted in the direction of thinking on an +exalted plane, but, tell me, why do we aim so low in real life? +Why? + +MASHA. Why? + +VERSHININ. Why is a Russian sick of his children, sick of his wife? +And why are his wife and children sick of him? + +MASHA. You're a little downhearted to-day. + +VERSHININ. Perhaps I am. I haven't had any dinner, I've had nothing +since the morning. My daughter is a little unwell, and when my +girls are ill, I get very anxious and my conscience tortures me +because they have such a mother. Oh, if you had seen her to-day! +What a trivial personality! We began quarrelling at seven in the +morning and at nine I slammed the door and went out. [Pause] I +never speak of her, it's strange that I bear my complaints to you +alone. [Kisses her hand] Don't be angry with me. I haven't anybody +but you, nobody at all. ... [Pause.] + +MASHA. What a noise in the oven. Just before father's death there +was a noise in the pipe, just like that. + +VERSHININ. Are you superstitious? + +MASHA. Yes. + +VERSHININ. That's strange. [Kisses her hand] You are a splendid, +wonderful woman. Splendid, wonderful! It is dark here, but I see +your sparkling eyes. + +MASHA. [Sits on another chair] There is more light here. + +VERSHININ. I love you, love you, love you ... I love your eyes, +your movements, I dream of them. ... Splendid, wonderful woman! + +MASHA. [Laughing] When you talk to me like that, I laugh; I don't +know why, for I'm afraid. Don't repeat it, please. ... [In an +undertone] No, go on, it's all the same to me. ... [Covers her face +with her hands] Somebody's coming, let's talk about something else. + +[IRINA and TUZENBACH come in through the dining-room.] + +TUZENBACH. My surname is really triple. I am called Baron +Tuzenbach-Krone-Altschauer, but I am Russian and Orthodox, the same +as you. There is very little German left in me, unless perhaps it +is the patience and the obstinacy with which I bore you. I see you +home every night. + +IRINA. How tired I am! + +TUZENBACH. And I'll come to the telegraph office to see you home +every day for ten or twenty years, until you drive me away. [He +sees MASHA and VERSHININ; joyfully] Is that you? How do you do. + +IRINA. Well, I am home at last. [To MASHA] A lady came to-day to +telegraph to her brother in Saratov that her son died to-day, and +she couldn't remember the address anyhow. So she sent the telegram +without an address, just to Saratov. She was crying. And for some +reason or other I was rude to her. "I've no time," I said. It was +so stupid. Are the entertainers coming to-night? + +MASHA. Yes. + +IRINA. [Sitting down in an armchair] I want a rest. I am tired. + +TUZENBACH. [Smiling] When you come home from your work you seem so +young, and so unfortunate. ... [Pause.] + +IRINA. I am tired. No, I don't like the telegraph office, I don't +like it. + +MASHA. You've grown thinner. ... [Whistles a little] And you look +younger, and your face has become like a boy's. + +TUZENBACH. That's the way she does her hair. + +IRINA. I must find another job, this one won't do for me. What I +wanted, what I hoped to get, just that is lacking here. Labour +without poetry, without ideas. ... [A knock on the floor] The +doctor is knocking. [To TUZENBACH] Will you knock, dear. I can't ... +I'm tired. ... [TUZENBACH knocks] He'll come in a minute. Something +ought to be done. Yesterday the doctor and Andrey played cards at +the club and lost money. Andrey seems to have lost 200 roubles. + +MASHA. [With indifference] What can we do now? + +IRINA. He lost money a fortnight ago, he lost money in December. +Perhaps if he lost everything we should go away from this town. Oh, +my God, I dream of Moscow every night. I'm just like a lunatic. +[Laughs] We go there in June, and before June there's still ... +February, March, April, May ... nearly half a year! + +MASHA. Only Natasha mustn't get to know of these losses. + +IRINA. I expect it will be all the same to her. + +[CHEBUTIKIN, who has only just got out of bed--he was resting after +dinner--comes into the dining-room and combs his beard. He then +sits by the table and takes a newspaper from his pocket.] + +MASHA. Here he is. ... Has he paid his rent? + +IRINA. [Laughs] No. He's been here eight months and hasn't paid a +copeck. Seems to have forgotten. + +MASHA. [Laughs] What dignity in his pose! [They all laugh. A +pause.] + +IRINA. Why are you so silent, Alexander Ignateyevitch? + +VERSHININ. I don't know. I want some tea. Half my life for a +tumbler of tea: I haven't had anything since morning. + +CHEBUTIKIN. Irina Sergeyevna! + +IRINA. What is it? + +CHEBUTIKIN. Please come here, Venez ici. [IRINA goes and sits by +the table] I can't do without you. [IRINA begins to play patience.] + +VERSHININ. Well, if we can't have any tea, let's philosophize, at +any rate. + +TUZENBACH. Yes, let's. About what? + +VERSHININ. About what? Let us meditate ... about life as it will be +after our time; for example, in two or three hundred years. + +TUZENBACH. Well? After our time people will fly about in balloons, +the cut of one's coat will change, perhaps they'll discover a sixth +sense and develop it, but life will remain the same, laborious, +mysterious, and happy. And in a thousand years' time, people will +still be sighing: "Life is hard!"--and at the same time they'll be +just as afraid of death, and unwilling to meet it, as we are. + +VERSHININ. [Thoughtfully] How can I put it? It seems to me that +everything on earth must change, little by little, and is already +changing under our very eyes. After two or three hundred years, +after a thousand--the actual time doesn't matter--a new and happy +age will begin. We, of course, shall not take part in it, but we +live and work and even suffer to-day that it should come. We create +it--and in that one object is our destiny and, if you like, our +happiness. + +[MASHA laughs softly.] + +TUZENBACH. What is it? + +MASHA. I don't know. I've been laughing all day, ever since +morning. + +VERSHININ. I finished my education at the same point as you, I have +not studied at universities; I read a lot, but I cannot choose my +books and perhaps what I read is not at all what I should, but the +longer I love, the more I want to know. My hair is turning white, I +am nearly an old man now, but I know so little, oh, so little! But +I think I know the things that matter most, and that are most real. +I know them well. And I wish I could make you understand that there +is no happiness for us, that there should not and cannot be. ... We +must only work and work, and happiness is only for our distant +posterity. [Pause] If not for me, then for the descendants of my +descendants. + +[FEDOTIK and RODE come into the dining-room; they sit and sing +softly, strumming on a guitar.] + +TUZENBACH. According to you, one should not even think about +happiness! But suppose I am happy! + +VERSHININ. No. + +TUZENBACH. [Moves his hands and laughs] We do not seem to +understand each other. How can I convince you? [MASHA laughs +quietly, TUZENBACH continues, pointing at her] Yes, laugh! [To +VERSHININ] Not only after two or three centuries, but in a million +years, life will still be as it was; life does not change, it +remains for ever, following its own laws which do not concern us, +or which, at any rate, you will never find out. Migrant birds, +cranes for example, fly and fly, and whatever thoughts, high or +low, enter their heads, they will still fly and not know why or +where. They fly and will continue to fly, whatever philosophers +come to life among them; they may philosophize as much as they +like, only they will fly. ... + +MASHA. Still, is there a meaning? + +TUZENBACH. A meaning. ... Now the snow is falling. What meaning? +[Pause.] + +MASHA. It seems to me that a man must have faith, or must search +for a faith, or his life will be empty, empty. ... To live and not +to know why the cranes fly, why babies are born, why there are +stars in the sky. ... Either you must know why you live, or +everything is trivial, not worth a straw. [A pause.] + +VERSHININ. Still, I am sorry that my youth has gone. + +MASHA. Gogol says: life in this world is a dull matter, my masters! + +TUZENBACH. And I say it's difficult to argue with you, my masters! +Hang it all. + +CHEBUTIKIN. [Reading] Balzac was married at Berdichev. [IRINA is +singing softly] That's worth making a note of. [He makes a note] +Balzac was married at Berdichev. [Goes on reading.] + +IRINA. [Laying out cards, thoughtfully] Balzac was married at +Berdichev. + +TUZENBACH. The die is cast. I've handed in my resignation, Maria +Sergeyevna. + +MASHA. So I heard. I don't see what good it is; I don't like +civilians. + +TUZENBACH. Never mind. ... [Gets up] I'm not handsome; what use am +I as a soldier? Well, it makes no difference ... I shall work. If +only just once in my life I could work so that I could come home in +the evening, fall exhausted on my bed, and go to sleep at once. +[Going into the dining-room] Workmen, I suppose, do sleep soundly! + +FEDOTIK. [To IRINA] I bought some coloured pencils for you at +Pizhikov's in the Moscow Road, just now. And here is a little +knife. + +IRINA. You have got into the habit of behaving to me as if I am a +little girl, but I am grown up. [Takes the pencils and the knife, +then, with joy] How lovely! + +FEDOTIK. And I bought myself a knife ... look at it ... one blade, +another, a third, an ear-scoop, scissors, nail-cleaners. + +RODE. [Loudly] Doctor, how old are you? + +CHEBUTIKIN. I? Thirty-two. [Laughter] + +FEDOTIK. I'll show you another kind of patience. ... [Lays out +cards.] + +[A samovar is brought in; ANFISA attends to it; a little later +NATASHA enters and helps by the table; SOLENI arrives and, after +greetings, sits by the table.] + +VERSHININ. What a wind! + +MASHA. Yes. I'm tired of winter. I've already forgotten what +summer's like. + +IRINA. It's coming out, I see. We're going to Moscow. + +FEDOTIK. No, it won't come out. Look, the eight was on the two of +spades. [Laughs] That means you won't go to Moscow. + +CHEBUTIKIN. [Reading paper] Tsitsigar. Smallpox is raging here. + +ANFISA. [Coming up to MASHA] Masha, have some tea, little mother. +[To VERSHININ] Please have some, sir ... excuse me, but I've +forgotten your name. ... + +MASHA. Bring some here, nurse. I shan't go over there. + +IRINA. Nurse! + +ANFISA. Coming, coming! + +NATASHA. [To SOLENI] Children at the breast understand perfectly. I +said "Good morning, Bobby; good morning, dear!" And he looked at me +in quite an unusual way. You think it's only the mother in me that +is speaking; I assure you that isn't so! He's a wonderful child. + +SOLENI. If he was my child I'd roast him on a frying-pan and eat +him. [Takes his tumbler into the drawing-room and sits in a +corner.] + +NATASHA. [Covers her face in her hands] Vulgar, ill-bred man! + +MASHA. He's lucky who doesn't notice whether it's winter now, or +summer. I think that if I were in Moscow, I shouldn't mind about +the weather. + +VERSHININ. A few days ago I was reading the prison diary of a +French minister. He had been sentenced on account of the Panama +scandal. With what joy, what delight, he speaks of the birds he saw +through the prison windows, which he had never noticed while he was +a minister. Now, of course, that he is at liberty, he notices birds +no more than he did before. When you go to live in Moscow you'll +not notice it, in just the same way. There can be no happiness for +us, it only exists in our wishes. + +TUZENBACH. [Takes cardboard box from the table] Where are the +pastries? + +IRINA. Soleni has eaten them. + +TUZENBACH. All of them? + +ANFISA. [Serving tea] There's a letter for you. + +VERSHININ. For me? [Takes the letter] From my daughter. [Reads] +Yes, of course ... I will go quietly. Excuse me, Maria Sergeyevna. +I shan't have any tea. [Stands up, excited] That eternal story. ... + +MASHA. What is it? Is it a secret? + +VERSHININ. [Quietly] My wife has poisoned herself again. I must go. +I'll go out quietly. It's all awfully unpleasant. [Kisses MASHA'S +hand] My dear, my splendid, good woman ... I'll go this way, +quietly. [Exit.] + +ANFISA. Where has he gone? And I'd served tea. ... What a man. + +MASHA. [Angrily] Be quiet! You bother so one can't have a moment's +peace. ... [Goes to the table with her cup] I'm tired of you, old +woman! + +ANFISA. My dear! Why are you offended! + +ANDREY'S VOICE. Anfisa! + +ANFISA. [Mocking] Anfisa! He sits there and ... [Exit.] + +MASHA. [In the dining-room, by the table angrily] Let me sit down! +[Disturbs the cards on the table] Here you are, spreading your +cards out. Have some tea! + +IRINA. You are cross, Masha. + +MASHA. If I am cross, then don't talk to me. Don't touch me! + +CHEBUTIKIN. Don't touch her, don't touch her. ... + +MASHA. You're sixty, but you're like a boy, always up to some +beastly nonsense. + +NATASHA. [Sighs] Dear Masha, why use such expressions? With your +beautiful exterior you would be simply fascinating in good society, +I tell you so directly, if it wasn't for your words. _Je vous prie, +pardonnez moi, Marie, mais vous avez des manieres un peu +grossieres_. + +TUZENBACH. [Restraining his laughter] Give me ... give me ... +there's some cognac, I think. + +NATASHA. _Il parait, que mon Bobick deja ne dort pas_, he has +awakened. He isn't well to-day. I'll go to him, excuse me ... +[Exit.] + +IRINA. Where has Alexander Ignateyevitch gone? + +MASHA. Home. Something extraordinary has happened to his wife +again. + +TUZENBACH. [Goes to SOLENI with a cognac-flask in his hands] You go +on sitting by yourself, thinking of something--goodness knows what. +Come and let's make peace. Let's have some cognac. [They drink] I +expect I'll have to play the piano all night, some rubbish most +likely ... well, so be it! + +SOLENI. Why make peace? I haven't quarrelled with you. + +TUZENBACH. You always make me feel as if something has taken place +between us. You've a strange character, you must admit. + +SOLENI. [Declaims] "I am strange, but who is not? Don't be angry, +Aleko!" + +TUZENBACH. And what has Aleko to do with it? [Pause.] + +SOLENI. When I'm with one other man I behave just like everybody +else, but in company I'm dull and shy and ... talk all manner of +rubbish. But I'm more honest and more honourable than very, very +many people. And I can prove it. + +TUZENBACH. I often get angry with you, you always fasten on to me +in company, but I like you all the same. I'm going to drink my fill +to-night, whatever happens. Drink, now! + +SOLENI. Let's drink. [They drink] I never had anything against you, +Baron. But my character is like Lermontov's [In a low voice] I even +rather resemble Lermontov, they say. ... [Takes a scent-bottle from +his pocket, and scents his hands.] + +TUZENBACH. I've sent in my resignation. Basta! I've been thinking +about it for five years, and at last made up my mind. I shall work. + +SOLENI. [Declaims] "Do not be angry, Aleko ... forget, forget, thy +dreams of yore. ..." + +[While he is speaking ANDREY enters quietly with a book, and sits +by the table.] + +TUZENBACH. I shall work. + +CHEBUTIKIN. [Going with IRINA into the dining-room] And the food +was also real Caucasian onion soup, and, for a roast, some +chehartma. + +SOLENI. Cheremsha [Note: A variety of garlic.] isn't meat at all, +but a plant something like an onion. + +CHEBUTIKIN. No, my angel. Chehartma isn't onion, but roast mutton. + +SOLENI. And I tell you, chehartma--is a sort of onion. + +CHEBUTIKIN. And I tell you, chehartma--is mutton. + +SOLENI. And I tell you, cheremsha--is a sort of onion. + +CHEBUTIKIN. What's the use of arguing! You've never been in the +Caucasus, and never ate any chehartma. + +SOLENI. I never ate it, because I hate it. It smells like garlic. + +ANDREY. [Imploring] Please, please! I ask you! + +TUZENBACH. When are the entertainers coming? + +IRINA. They promised for about nine; that is, quite soon. + +TUZENBACH. [Embraces ANDREY] + "Oh my house, my house, my new-built house." + +ANDREY. [Dances and sings] + "Newly-built of maple-wood." + +CHEBUTIKIN. [Dances] + "Its walls are like a sieve!" [Laughter.] + +TUZENBACH. [Kisses ANDREY] Hang it all, let's drink. Andrey, old +boy, let's drink with you. And I'll go with you, Andrey, to the +University of Moscow. + +SOLENI. Which one? There are two universities in Moscow. + +ANDREY. There's one university in Moscow. + +SOLENI. Two, I tell you. + +ANDREY. Don't care if there are three. So much the better. + +SOLENI. There are two universities in Moscow! [There are murmurs +and "hushes"] There are two universities in Moscow, the old one and +the new one. And if you don't like to listen, if my words annoy +you, then I need not speak. I can even go into another room. ... +[Exit.] + +TUZENBACH. Bravo, bravo! [Laughs] Come on, now. I'm going to play. +Funny man, Soleni. ... [Goes to the piano and plays a waltz.] + +MASHA. [Dancing solo] The Baron's drunk, the Baron's drunk, the +Baron's drunk! + +[NATASHA comes in.] + +NATASHA. [To CHEBUTIKIN] Ivan Romanovitch! + +[Says something to CHEBUTIKIN, then goes out quietly; CHEBUTIKIN +touches TUZENBACH on the shoulder and whispers something to him.] + +IRINA. What is it? + +CHEBUTIKIN. Time for us to go. Good-bye. + +TUZENBACH. Good-night. It's time we went. + +IRINA. But, really, the entertainers? + +ANDREY. [In confusion] There won't be any entertainers. You see, +dear, Natasha says that Bobby isn't quite well, and so. ... In a +word, I don't care, and it's absolutely all one to me. + +IRINA. [Shrugging her shoulders] Bobby ill! + +MASHA. What is she thinking of! Well, if they are sent home, I +suppose they must go. [To IRINA] Bobby's all right, it's she +herself. ... Here! [Taps her forehead] Little bourgeoise! + +[ANDREY goes to his room through the right-hand door, CHEBUTIKIN +follows him. In the dining-room they are saying good-bye.] + +FEDOTIK. What a shame! I was expecting to spend the evening here, +but of course, if the little baby is ill ... I'll bring him some +toys to-morrow. + +RODE. [Loudly] I slept late after dinner to-day because I thought I +was going to dance all night. It's only nine o'clock now! + +MASHA. Let's go into the street, we can talk there. Then we can +settle things. + +(Good-byes and good nights are heard. TUZENBACH'S merry laughter is +heard. [All go out] ANFISA and the maid clear the table, and put +out the lights. [The nurse sings] ANDREY, wearing an overcoat and a +hat, and CHEBUTIKIN enter silently.) + +CHEBUTIKIN. I never managed to get married because my life flashed +by like lightning, and because I was madly in love with your +mother, who was married. + +ANDREY. One shouldn't marry. One shouldn't, because it's dull. + +CHEBUTIKIN. So there I am, in my loneliness. Say what you will, +loneliness is a terrible thing, old fellow. ... Though really ... +of course, it absolutely doesn't matter! + +ANDREY. Let's be quicker. + +CHEBUTIKIN. What are you in such a hurry for? We shall be in time. + +ANDREY. I'm afraid my wife may stop me. + +CHEBUTIKIN. Ah! + +ANDREY. I shan't play to-night, I shall only sit and look on. I +don't feel very well. ... What am I to do for my asthma, Ivan +Romanovitch? + +CHEBUTIKIN. Don't ask me! I don't remember, old fellow, I don't +know. + +ANDREY. Let's go through the kitchen. [They go out.] + +[A bell rings, then a second time; voices and laughter are heard.] + +IRINA. [Enters] What's that? + +ANFISA. [Whispers] The entertainers! [Bell.] + +IRINA. Tell them there's nobody at home, nurse. They must excuse +us. + +[ANFISA goes out. IRINA walks about the room deep in thought; she +is excited. SOLENI enters.] + +SOLENI. [In surprise] There's nobody here. ... Where are they all? + +IRINA. They've gone home. + +SOLENI. How strange. Are you here alone? + +IRINA. Yes, alone. [A pause] Good-bye. + +SOLENI. Just now I behaved tactlessly, with insufficient reserve. +But you are not like all the others, you are noble and pure, you +can see the truth. ... You alone can understand me. I love you, +deeply, beyond measure, I love you. + +IRINA. Good-bye! Go away. + +SOLENI. I cannot live without you. [Follows her] Oh, my happiness! +[Through his tears] Oh, joy! Wonderful, marvellous, glorious eyes, +such as I have never seen before. ... + +IRINA. [Coldly] Stop it, Vassili Vassilevitch! + +SOLENI. This is the first time I speak to you of love, and it is as +if I am no longer on the earth, but on another planet. [Wipes his +forehead] Well, never mind. I can't make you love me by force, of +course ... but I don't intend to have any more-favoured rivals. ... +No ... I swear to you by all the saints, I shall kill my rival. ... +Oh, beautiful one! + +[NATASHA enters with a candle; she looks in through one door, then +through another, and goes past the door leading to her husband's +room.] + +NATASHA. Here's Andrey. Let him go on reading. Excuse me, Vassili +Vassilevitch, I did not know you were here; I am engaged in +domesticities. + +SOLENI. It's all the same to me. Good-bye! [Exit.] + +NATASHA. You're so tired, my poor dear girl! [Kisses IRINA] If you +only went to bed earlier. + +IRINA. Is Bobby asleep? + +NATASHA. Yes, but restlessly. By the way, dear, I wanted to tell +you, but either you weren't at home, or I was busy ... I think +Bobby's present nursery is cold and damp. And your room would be so +nice for the child. My dear, darling girl, do change over to Olga's +for a bit! + +IRINA. [Not understanding] Where? + +[The bells of a troika are heard as it drives up to the house.] + +NATASHA. You and Olga can share a room, for the time being, and +Bobby can have yours. He's such a darling; to-day I said to him, +"Bobby, you're mine! Mine!" And he looked at me with his dear +little eyes. [A bell rings] It must be Olga. How late she is! [The +maid enters and whispers to NATASHA] Protopopov? What a queer man +to do such a thing. Protopopov's come and wants me to go for a +drive with him in his troika. [Laughs] How funny these men are. ... +[A bell rings] Somebody has come. Suppose I did go and have half an +hour's drive. ... [To the maid] Say I shan't be long. [Bell rings] +Somebody's ringing, it must be Olga. [Exit.] + +[The maid runs out; IRINA sits deep in thought; KULIGIN and OLGA +enter, followed by VERSHININ.] + +KULIGIN. Well, there you are. And you said there was going to be a +party. + +VERSHININ. It's queer; I went away not long ago, half an hour ago, +and they were expecting entertainers. + +IRINA. They've all gone. + +KULIGIN. Has Masha gone too? Where has she gone? And what's +Protopopov waiting for downstairs in his troika? Whom is he +expecting? + +IRINA. Don't ask questions ... I'm tired. + +KULIGIN. Oh, you're all whimsies. ... + +OLGA. My committee meeting is only just over. I'm tired out. Our +chairwoman is ill, so I had to take her place. My head, my head is +aching. ... [Sits] Andrey lost 200 roubles at cards yesterday ... +the whole town is talking about it. ... + +KULIGIN. Yes, my meeting tired me too. [Sits.] + +VERSHININ. My wife took it into her head to frighten me just now by +nearly poisoning herself. It's all right now, and I'm glad; I can +rest now. ... But perhaps we ought to go away? Well, my best +wishes, Feodor Ilitch, let's go somewhere together! I can't, I +absolutely can't stop at home. ... Come on! + +KULIGIN. I'm tired. I won't go. [Gets up] I'm tired. Has my wife +gone home? + +IRINA. I suppose so. + +KULIGIN. [Kisses IRINA'S hand] Good-bye, I'm going to rest all day +to-morrow and the day after. Best wishes! [Going] I should like +some tea. I was looking forward to spending the whole evening in +pleasant company and--o, fallacem hominum spem! ... Accusative case +after an interjection. ... + +VERSHININ. Then I'll go somewhere by myself. [Exit with KULIGIN, +whistling.] + +OLGA. I've such a headache ... Andrey has been losing money. ... +The whole town is talking. ... I'll go and lie down. [Going] I'm +free to-morrow. ... Oh, my God, what a mercy! I'm free to-morrow, +I'm free the day after. ... Oh my head, my head. ... [Exit.] + +IRINA. [alone] They've all gone. Nobody's left. + +[A concertina is being played in the street. The nurse sings.] + +NATASHA. [in fur coat and cap, steps across the dining-room, +followed by the maid] I'll be back in half an hour. I'm only going +for a little drive. [Exit.] + +IRINA. [Alone in her misery] To Moscow! Moscow! Moscow! + +Curtain. + + +ACT III + +[The room shared by OLGA and IRINA. Beds, screened off, on the +right and left. It is past 2 a.m. Behind the stage a fire-alarm is +ringing; it has apparently been going for some time. Nobody in the +house has gone to bed yet. MASHA is lying on a sofa dressed, as +usual, in black. Enter OLGA and ANFISA.] + +ANFISA. Now they are downstairs, sitting under the stairs. I said +to them, "Won't you come up," I said, "You can't go on like this," +and they simply cried, "We don't know where father is." They said, +"He may be burnt up by now." What an idea! And in the yard there +are some people ... also undressed. + +OLGA. [Takes a dress out of the cupboard] Take this grey dress. ... +And this ... and the blouse as well. ... Take the skirt, too, +nurse. ... My God! How awful it is! The whole of the Kirsanovsky +Road seems to have burned down. Take this ... and this. ... [Throws +clothes into her hands] The poor Vershinins are so frightened. ... +Their house was nearly burnt. They ought to come here for the +night. ... They shouldn't be allowed to go home. ... Poor Fedotik +is completely burnt out, there's nothing left. ... + +ANFISA. Couldn't you call Ferapont, Olga dear. I can hardly manage. ... + +OLGA. [Rings] They'll never answer. ... [At the door] Come here, +whoever there is! [Through the open door can be seen a window, red +with flame: afire-engine is heard passing the house] How awful this +is. And how I'm sick of it! [FERAPONT enters] Take these things +down. ... The Kolotilin girls are down below ... and let them have +them. This, too. + +FERAPONT. Yes'm. In the year twelve Moscow was burning too. Oh, my +God! The Frenchmen were surprised. + +OLGA. Go on, go on. ... + +FERAPONT. Yes'm. [Exit.] + +OLGA. Nurse, dear, let them have everything. We don't want +anything. Give it all to them, nurse. ... I'm tired, I can hardly +keep on my legs. ... The Vershinins mustn't be allowed to go home. ... +The girls can sleep in the drawing-room, and Alexander Ignateyevitch +can go downstairs to the Baron's flat ... Fedotik can go there, too, +or else into our dining-room. ... The doctor is drunk, beastly drunk, +as if on purpose, so nobody can go to him. Vershinin's wife, too, +may go into the drawing-room. + +ANFISA. [Tired] Olga, dear girl, don't dismiss me! Don't dismiss +me! + +OLGA. You're talking nonsense, nurse. Nobody is dismissing you. + +ANFISA. [Puts OLGA'S head against her bosom] My dear, precious +girl, I'm working, I'm toiling away ... I'm growing weak, and +they'll all say go away! And where shall I go? Where? I'm eighty. +Eighty-one years old. ... + +OLGA. You sit down, nurse dear. ... You're tired, poor dear. ... +[Makes her sit down] Rest, dear. You're so pale! + +[NATASHA comes in.] + +NATASHA. They are saying that a committee to assist the sufferers +from the fire must be formed at once. What do you think of that? +It's a beautiful idea. Of course the poor ought to be helped, it's +the duty of the rich. Bobby and little Sophy are sleeping, sleeping +as if nothing at all was the matter. There's such a lot of people +here, the place is full of them, wherever you go. There's influenza +in the town now. I'm afraid the children may catch it. + +OLGA. [Not attending] In this room we can't see the fire, it's +quiet here. + +NATASHA. Yes ... I suppose I'm all untidy. [Before the looking-glass] +They say I'm growing stout ... it isn't true! Certainly it isn't! +Masha's asleep; the poor thing is tired out. ... [Coldly, to +ANFISA] Don't dare to be seated in my presence! Get up! Out of +this! [Exit ANFISA; a pause] I don't understand what makes you keep +on that old woman! + +OLGA. [Confusedly] Excuse me, I don't understand either ... + +NATASHA. She's no good here. She comes from the country, she ought +to live there. ... Spoiling her, I call it! I like order in the +house! We don't want any unnecessary people here. [Strokes her +cheek] You're tired, poor thing! Our head mistress is tired! And +when my little Sophie grows up and goes to school I shall be so +afraid of you. + +OLGA. I shan't be head mistress. + +NATASHA. They'll appoint you, Olga. It's settled. + +OLGA. I'll refuse the post. I can't ... I'm not strong enough. ... +[Drinks water] You were so rude to nurse just now ... I'm sorry. I +can't stand it ... everything seems dark in front of me. ... + +NATASHA. [Excited] Forgive me, Olga, forgive me ... I didn't want +to annoy you. + +[MASHA gets up, takes a pillow and goes out angrily.] + +OLGA. Remember, dear ... we have been brought up, in an unusual +way, perhaps, but I can't bear this. Such behaviour has a bad +effect on me, I get ill ... I simply lose heart! + +NATASHA. Forgive me, forgive me. ... [Kisses her.] + +OLGA. Even the least bit of rudeness, the slightest impoliteness, +upsets me. + +NATASHA. I often say too much, it's true, but you must agree, dear, +that she could just as well live in the country. + +OLGA. She has been with us for thirty years. + +NATASHA. But she can't do any work now. Either I don't understand, +or you don't want to understand me. She's no good for work, she can +only sleep or sit about. + +OLGA. And let her sit about. + +NATASHA. [Surprised] What do you mean? She's only a servant. +[Crying] I don't understand you, Olga. I've got a nurse, a +wet-nurse, we've a cook, a housemaid ... what do we want that old +woman for as well? What good is she? [Fire-alarm behind the stage.] + +OLGA. I've grown ten years older to-night. + +NATASHA. We must come to an agreement, Olga. Your place is the +school, mine--the home. You devote yourself to teaching, I, to the +household. And if I talk about servants, then I do know what I am +talking about; I do know what I am talking about ... And to-morrow +there's to be no more of that old thief, that old hag ... +[Stamping] that witch! And don't you dare to annoy me! Don't you +dare! [Stopping short] Really, if you don't move downstairs, we +shall always be quarrelling. This is awful. + +[Enter KULIGIN.] + +KULIGIN. Where's Masha? It's time we went home. The fire seems to +be going down. [Stretches himself] Only one block has burnt down, +but there was such a wind that it seemed at first the whole town +was going to burn. [Sits] I'm tired out. My dear Olga ... I often +think that if it hadn't been for Masha, I should have married you. +You are awfully nice. ... I am absolutely tired out. [Listens.] + +OLGA. What is it? + +KULIGIN. The doctor, of course, has been drinking hard; he's +terribly drunk. He might have done it on purpose! [Gets up] He +seems to be coming here. ... Do you hear him? Yes, here. ... +[Laughs] What a man ... really ... I'll hide myself. [Goes to the +cupboard and stands in the corner] What a rogue. + +OLGA. He hadn't touched a drop for two years, and now he suddenly +goes and gets drunk. ... + +[Retires with NATASHA to the back of the room. CHEBUTIKIN enters; +apparently sober, he stops, looks round, then goes to the +wash-stand and begins to wash his hands.] + +CHEBUTIKIN. [Angrily] Devil take them all ... take them all. ... +They think I'm a doctor and can cure everything, and I know +absolutely nothing, I've forgotten all I ever knew, I remember +nothing, absolutely nothing. [OLGA and NATASHA go out, unnoticed by +him] Devil take it. Last Wednesday I attended a woman in Zasip--and +she died, and it's my fault that she died. Yes ... I used to know a +certain amount five-and-twenty years ago, but I don't remember +anything now. Nothing. Perhaps I'm not really a man, and am only +pretending that I've got arms and legs and a head; perhaps I don't +exist at all, and only imagine that I walk, and eat, and sleep. +[Cries] Oh, if only I didn't exist! [Stops crying; angrily] The +devil only knows. ... Day before yesterday they were talking in the +club; they said, Shakespeare, Voltaire ... I'd never read, never +read at all, and I put on an expression as if I had read. And so +did the others. Oh, how beastly! How petty! And then I remembered +the woman I killed on Wednesday ... and I couldn't get her out of +my mind, and everything in my mind became crooked, nasty, wretched. ... +So I went and drank. ... + +[IRINA, VERSHININ and TUZENBACH enter; TUZENBACH is wearing new and +fashionable civilian clothes.] + +IRINA. Let's sit down here. Nobody will come in here. + +VERSHININ. The whole town would have been destroyed if it hadn't +been for the soldiers. Good men! [Rubs his hands appreciatively] +Splendid people! Oh, what a fine lot! + +KULIGIN. [Coming up to him] What's the time? + +TUZENBACH. It's past three now. It's dawning. + +IRINA. They are all sitting in the dining-room, nobody is going. +And that Soleni of yours is sitting there. [To CHEBUTIKIN] Hadn't +you better be going to sleep, doctor? + +CHEBUTIKIN. It's all right ... thank you. ... [Combs his beard.] + +KULIGIN. [Laughs] Speaking's a bit difficult, eh, Ivan Romanovitch! +[Pats him on the shoulder] Good man! _In vino veritas_, the +ancients used to say. + +TUZENBACH. They keep on asking me to get up a concert in aid of the +sufferers. + +IRINA. As if one could do anything. ... + +TUZENBACH. It might be arranged, if necessary. In my opinion Maria +Sergeyevna is an excellent pianist. + +KULIGIN. Yes, excellent! + +IRINA. She's forgotten everything. She hasn't played for three +years ... or four. + +TUZENBACH. In this town absolutely nobody understands music, not a +soul except myself, but I do understand it, and assure you on my +word of honour that Maria Sergeyevna plays excellently, almost with +genius. + +KULIGIN. You are right, Baron, I'm awfully fond of Masha. She's +very fine. + +TUZENBACH. To be able to play so admirably and to realize at the +same time that nobody, nobody can understand you! + +KULIGIN. [Sighs] Yes. ... But will it be quite all right for her to +take part in a concert? [Pause] You see, I don't know anything +about it. Perhaps it will even be all to the good. Although I must +admit that our Director is a good man, a very good man even, a very +clever man, still he has such views. ... Of course it isn't his +business but still, if you wish it, perhaps I'd better talk to him. + +[CHEBUTIKIN takes a porcelain clock into his hands and examines +it.] + +VERSHININ. I got so dirty while the fire was on, I don't look like +anybody on earth. [Pause] Yesterday I happened to hear, casually, +that they want to transfer our brigade to some distant place. Some +said to Poland, others, to Chita. + +TUZENBACH. I heard so, too. Well, if it is so, the town will be +quite empty. + +IRINA. And we'll go away, too! + +CHEBUTIKIN. [Drops the clock which breaks to pieces] To +smithereens! + +[A pause; everybody is pained and confused.] + +KULIGIN. [Gathering up the pieces] To smash such a valuable object-- +oh, Ivan Romanovitch, Ivan Romanovitch! A very bad mark for your +misbehaviour! + +IRINA. That clock used to belong to our mother. + +CHEBUTIKIN. Perhaps. ... To your mother, your mother. Perhaps I +didn't break it; it only looks as if I broke it. Perhaps we only +think that we exist, when really we don't. I don't know anything, +nobody knows anything. [At the door] What are you looking at? +Natasha has a little romance with Protopopov, and you don't see it. ... +There you sit and see nothing, and Natasha has a little romance +with Protopovov. ... [Sings] Won't you please accept this date. ... +[Exit.] + +VERSHININ. Yes. [Laughs] How strange everything really is! [Pause] +When the fire broke out, I hurried off home; when I get there I see +the house is whole, uninjured, and in no danger, but my two girls +are standing by the door in just their underclothes, their mother +isn't there, the crowd is excited, horses and dogs are running +about, and the girls' faces are so agitated, terrified, beseeching, +and I don't know what else. My heart was pained when I saw those +faces. My God, I thought, what these girls will have to put up with +if they live long! I caught them up and ran, and still kept on +thinking the one thing: what they will have to live through in this +world! [Fire-alarm; a pause] I come here and find their mother +shouting and angry. [MASHA enters with a pillow and sits on the +sofa] And when my girls were standing by the door in just their +underclothes, and the street was red from the fire, there was a +dreadful noise, and I thought that something of the sort used to +happen many years ago when an enemy made a sudden attack, and +looted, and burned. ... And at the same time what a difference +there really is between the present and the past! And when a little +more time has gone by, in two or three hundred years perhaps, +people will look at our present life with just the same fear, and +the same contempt, and the whole past will seem clumsy and dull, +and very uncomfortable, and strange. Oh, indeed, what a life there +will be, what a life! [Laughs] Forgive me, I've dropped into +philosophy again. Please let me continue. I do awfully want to +philosophize, it's just how I feel at present. [Pause] As if they +are all asleep. As I was saying: what a life there will be! Only +just imagine. ... There are only three persons like yourselves in +the town just now, but in future generations there will be more and +more, and still more, and the time will come when everything will +change and become as you would have it, people will live as you do, +and then you too will go out of date; people will be born who are +better than you. ... [Laughs] Yes, to-day I am quite exceptionally +in the vein. I am devilishly keen on living. ... [Sings.] + "The power of love all ages know, + From its assaults great good does grow." [Laughs.] + +MASHA. Trum-tum-tum ... + +VERSHININ. Tum-tum ... + +MASHA. Tra-ra-ra? + +VERSHININ. Tra-ta-ta. [Laughs.] + +[Enter FEDOTIK.] + +FEDOTIK. [Dancing] I'm burnt out, I'm burnt out! Down to the +ground! [Laughter.] + +IRINA. I don't see anything funny about it. Is everything burnt? + +FEDOTIK. [Laughs] Absolutely. Nothing left at all. The guitar's +burnt, and the photographs are burnt, and all my correspondence. ... +And I was going to make you a present of a note-book, and that's +burnt too. + +[SOLENI comes in.] + +IRINA. No, you can't come here, Vassili Vassilevitch. Please go +away. + +SOLENI. Why can the Baron come here and I can't? + +VERSHININ. We really must go. How's the fire? + +SOLENI. They say it's going down. No, I absolutely don't see why +the Baron can, and I can't? [Scents his hands.] + +VERSHININ. Trum-tum-tum. + +MASHA. Trum-tum. + +VERSHININ. [Laughs to SOLENI] Let's go into the dining-room. + +SOLENI. Very well, we'll make a note of it. "If I should try to +make this clear, the geese would be annoyed, I fear." [Looks at +TUZENBACH] There, there, there. ... [Goes out with VERSHININ and +FEDOTIK.] + +IRINA. How Soleni smelt of tobacco. ... [In surprise] The Baron's +asleep! Baron! Baron! + +TUZENBACH. [Waking] I am tired, I must say. ... The brickworks. ... +No, I'm not wandering, I mean it; I'm going to start work soon at +the brickworks ... I've already talked it over. [Tenderly, to +IRINA] You're so pale, and beautiful, and charming. ... Your +paleness seems to shine through the dark air as if it was a light. ... +You are sad, displeased with life. ... Oh, come with me, let's go +and work together! + +MASHA. Nicolai Lvovitch, go away from here. + +TUZENBACH. [Laughs] Are you here? I didn't see you. [Kisses IRINA'S +hand] good-bye, I'll go ... I look at you now and I remember, as if +it was long ago, your name-day, when you, cheerfully and merrily, +were talking about the joys of labour. ... And how happy life +seemed to me, then! What has happened to it now? [Kisses her hand] +There are tears in your eyes. Go to bed now; it is already day ... +the morning begins. ... If only I was allowed to give my life for +you! + +MASHA. Nicolai Lvovitch, go away! What business ... + +TUZENBACH. I'm off. [Exit.] + +MASHA. [Lies down] Are you asleep, Feodor? + +KULIGIN. Eh? + +MASHA. Shouldn't you go home. + +KULIGIN. My dear Masha, my darling Masha. ... + +IRINA. She's tired out. You might let her rest, Fedia. + +KULIGIN. I'll go at once. My wife's a good, splendid ... I love +you, my only one. ... + +MASHA. [Angrily] Amo, amas, amat, amamus, amatis, amant. + +KULIGIN. [Laughs] No, she really is wonderful. I've been your +husband seven years, and it seems as if I was only married +yesterday. On my word. No, you really are a wonderful woman. I'm +satisfied, I'm satisfied, I'm satisfied! + +MASHA. I'm bored, I'm bored, I'm bored. ... [Sits up] But I can't +get it out of my head. ... It's simply disgraceful. It has been +gnawing away at me ... I can't keep silent. I mean about Andrey. ... +He has mortgaged this house with the bank, and his wife has got all +the money; but the house doesn't belong to him alone, but to the +four of us! He ought to know that, if he's an honourable man. + +KULIGIN. What's the use, Masha? Andrey is in debt all round; well, +let him do as he pleases. + +MASHA. It's disgraceful, anyway. [Lies down] + +KULIGIN. You and I are not poor. I work, take my classes, give +private lessons ... I am a plain, honest man ... _Omnia mea mecum +porto_, as they say. + +MASHA. I don't want anything, but the unfairness of it disgusts me. +[Pause] You go, Feodor. + +KULIGIN. [Kisses her] You're tired, just rest for half an hour, and +I'll sit and wait for you. Sleep. ... [Going] I'm satisfied, I'm +satisfied, I'm satisfied. [Exit.] + +IRINA. Yes, really, our Andrey has grown smaller; how he's snuffed +out and aged with that woman! He used to want to be a professor, +and yesterday he was boasting that at last he had been made a +member of the district council. He is a member, and Protopopov is +chairman. ... The whole town talks and laughs about it, and he +alone knows and sees nothing. ... And now everybody's gone to look +at the fire, but he sits alone in his room and pays no attention, +only just plays on his fiddle. [Nervily] Oh, it's awful, awful, +awful. [Weeps] I can't, I can't bear it any longer! ... I can't, I +can't! ... [OLGA comes in and clears up at her little table. IRINA +is sobbing loudly] Throw me out, throw me out, I can't bear any +more! + +OLGA. [Alarmed] What is it, what is it? Dear! + +IRINA. [Sobbing] Where? Where has everything gone? Where is it all? +Oh my God, my God! I've forgotten everything, everything ... I +don't remember what is the Italian for window or, well, for ceiling ... +I forget everything, every day I forget it, and life passes and +will never return, and we'll never go away to Moscow ... I see that +we'll never go. ... + +OLGA. Dear, dear. ... + +IRINA. [Controlling herself] Oh, I am unhappy ... I can't work, I +shan't work. Enough, enough! I used to be a telegraphist, now I +work at the town council offices, and I have nothing but hate and +contempt for all they give me to do ... I am already twenty-three, +I have already been at work for a long while, and my brain has +dried up, and I've grown thinner, plainer, older, and there is no +relief of any sort, and time goes and it seems all the while as if +I am going away from the real, the beautiful life, farther and +farther away, down some precipice. I'm in despair and I can't +understand how it is that I am still alive, that I haven't killed +myself. + +OLGA. Don't cry, dear girl, don't cry ... I suffer, too. + +IRINA. I'm not crying, not crying. ... Enough. ... Look, I'm not +crying any more. Enough ... enough! + +OLGA. Dear, I tell you as a sister and a friend if you want my +advice, marry the Baron. [IRINA cries softly] You respect him, you +think highly of him. ... It is true that he is not handsome, but he +is so honourable and clean ... people don't marry from love, but in +order to do one's duty. I think so, at any rate, and I'd marry +without being in love. Whoever he was, I should marry him, so long +as he was a decent man. Even if he was old. ... + +IRINA. I was always waiting until we should be settled in Moscow, +there I should meet my true love; I used to think about him, and +love him. ... But it's all turned out to be nonsense, all nonsense. ... + +OLGA. [Embraces her sister] My dear, beautiful sister, I understand +everything; when Baron Nicolai Lvovitch left the army and came to +us in evening dress, [Note: I.e. in the correct dress for making a +proposal of marriage.] he seemed so bad-looking to me that I even +started crying. ... He asked, "What are you crying for?" How could +I tell him! But if God brought him to marry you, I should be happy. +That would be different, quite different. + +[NATASHA with a candle walks across the stage from right to left +without saying anything.] + +MASHA. [Sitting up] She walks as if she's set something on fire. + +OLGA. Masha, you're silly, you're the silliest of the family. +Please forgive me for saying so. [Pause.] + +MASHA. I want to make a confession, dear sisters. My soul is in +pain. I will confess to you, and never again to anybody ... I'll +tell you this minute. [Softly] It's my secret but you must know +everything ... I can't be silent. ... [Pause] I love, I love ... I +love that man. ... You saw him only just now. ... Why don't I say +it ... in one word. I love Vershinin. + +OLGA. [Goes behind her screen] Stop that, I don't hear you in any +case. + +MASHA. What am I to do? [Takes her head in her hands] First he +seemed queer to me, then I was sorry for him ... then I fell in +love with him ... fell in love with his voice, his words, his +misfortunes, his two daughters. + +OLGA. [Behind the screen] I'm not listening. You may talk any +nonsense you like, it will be all the same, I shan't hear. + +MASHA. Oh, Olga, you are foolish. I am in love--that means that is +to be my fate. It means that is to be my lot. ... And he loves me. ... +It is all awful. Yes; it isn't good, is it? [Takes IRINA'S hand and +draws her to her] Oh, my dear. ... How are we going to live through +our lives, what is to become of us. ... When you read a novel it +all seems so old and easy, but when you fall in love yourself, then +you learn that nobody knows anything, and each must decide for +himself. ... My dear ones, my sisters ... I've confessed, now I +shall keep silence. ... Like the lunatics in Gogol's story, I'm +going to be silent ... silent ... + +[ANDREY enters, followed by FERAPONT.] + +ANDREY. [Angrily] What do you want? I don't understand. + +FERAPONT. [At the door, impatiently] I've already told you ten +times, Andrey Sergeyevitch. + +ANDREY. In the first place I'm not Andrey Sergeyevitch, but sir. +[Note: Quite literally, "your high honour," to correspond to +Andrey's rank as a civil servant.] + +FERAPONT. The firemen, sir, ask if they can go across your garden +to the river. Else they go right round, right round; it's a +nuisance. + +ANDREY. All right. Tell them it's all right. [Exit FERAPONT] I'm +tired of them. Where is Olga? [OLGA comes out from behind the +screen] I came to you for the key of the cupboard. I lost my own. +You've got a little key. [OLGA gives him the key; IRINA goes behind +her screen; pause] What a huge fire! It's going down now. Hang it +all, that Ferapont made me so angry that I talked nonsense to him. ... +Sir, indeed. ... [A pause] Why are you so silent, Olga? [Pause] +It's time you stopped all that nonsense and behaved as if you were +properly alive. ... You are here, Masha. Irina is here, well, since +we're all here, let's come to a complete understanding, once and +for all. What have you against me? What is it? + +OLGA. Please don't, Audrey dear. We'll talk to-morrow. [Excited] +What an awful night! + +ANDREY. [Much confused] Don't excite yourself. I ask you in perfect +calmness; what have you against me? Tell me straight. + +VERSHININ'S VOICE. Trum-tum-tum! + +MASHA. [Stands; loudly] Tra-ta-ta! [To OLGA] Goodbye, Olga, God +bless you. [Goes behind screen and kisses IRINA] Sleep well. ... +Good-bye, Andrey. Go away now, they're tired ... you can explain +to-morrow. ... [Exit.] + +ANDREY. I'll only say this and go. Just now. ... In the first +place, you've got something against Natasha, my wife; I've noticed +it since the very day of my marriage. Natasha is a beautiful and +honest creature, straight and honourable--that's my opinion. I love +and respect my wife; understand it, I respect her, and I insist +that others should respect her too. I repeat, she's an honest and +honourable person, and all your disapproval is simply silly ... +[Pause] In the second place, you seem to be annoyed because I am +not a professor, and am not engaged in study. But I work for the +zemstvo, I am a member of the district council, and I consider my +service as worthy and as high as the service of science. I am a +member of the district council, and I am proud of it, if you want +to know. [Pause] In the third place, I have still this to say ... +that I have mortgaged the house without obtaining your permission. ... +For that I am to blame, and ask to be forgiven. My debts led me +into doing it ... thirty-five thousand ... I do not play at cards +any more, I stopped long ago, but the chief thing I have to say in +my defence is that you girls receive a pension, and I don't ... my +wages, so to speak. ... [Pause.] + +KULIGIN. [At the door] Is Masha there? [Excitedly] Where is she? +It's queer. ... [Exit.] + +ANDREY. They don't hear. Natasha is a splendid, honest person. +[Walks about in silence, then stops] When I married I thought we +should be happy ... all of us. ... But, my God. ... [Weeps] My +dear, dear sisters, don't believe me, don't believe me. ... [Exit.] + +[Fire-alarm. The stage is clear.] + +IRINA. [behind her screen] Olga, who's knocking on the floor? + +OLGA. It's doctor Ivan Romanovitch. He's drunk. + +IRINA. What a restless night! [Pause] Olga! [Looks out] Did you +hear? They are taking the brigade away from us; it's going to be +transferred to some place far away. + +OLGA. It's only a rumour. + +IRINA. Then we shall be left alone. ... Olga! + +OLGA. Well? + +IRINA. My dear, darling sister, I esteem, I highly value the Baron, +he's a splendid man; I'll marry him, I'll consent, only let's go to +Moscow! I implore you, let's go! There's nothing better than Moscow +on earth! Let's go, Olga, let's go! + +Curtain + + +ACT IV + +[The old garden at the house of the PROSOROVS. There is a long +avenue of firs, at the end of which the river can be seen. There is +a forest on the far side of the river. On the right is the terrace +of the house: bottles and tumblers are on a table here; it is +evident that champagne has just been drunk. It is midday. Every now +and again passers-by walk across the garden, from the road to the +river; five soldiers go past rapidly. CHEBUTIKIN, in a comfortable +frame of mind which does not desert him throughout the act, sits in +an armchair in the garden, waiting to be called. He wears a peaked +cap and has a stick. IRINA, KULIGIN with a cross hanging from his +neck and without his moustaches, and TUZENBACH are standing on the +terrace seeing off FEDOTIK and RODE, who are coming down into the +garden; both officers are in service uniform.] + +TUZENBACH. [Exchanges kisses with FEDOTIK] You're a good sort, we +got on so well together. [Exchanges kisses with RODE] Once again. ... +Good-bye, old man! + +IRINA. Au revoir! + +FEDOTIK. It isn't au revoir, it's good-bye; we'll never meet again! + +KULIGIN. Who knows! [Wipes his eyes; smiles] Here I've started +crying! + +IRINA. We'll meet again sometime. + +FEDOTIK. After ten years--or fifteen? We'll hardly know one another +then; we'll say, "How do you do?" coldly. ... [Takes a snapshot] +Keep still. ... Once more, for the last time. + +RODE. [Embracing TUZENBACH] We shan't meet again. ... [Kisses +IRINA'S hand] Thank you for everything, for everything! + +FEDOTIK. [Grieved] Don't be in such a hurry! + +TUZENBACH. We shall meet again, if God wills it. Write to us. Be +sure to write. + +RODE. [Looking round the garden] Good-bye, trees! [Shouts] Yo-ho! +[Pause] Good-bye, echo! + +KULIGIN. Best wishes. Go and get yourselves wives there in Poland. ... +Your Polish wife will clasp you and call you "kochanku!" [Note: +Darling.] [Laughs.] + +FEDOTIK. [Looking at the time] There's less than an hour left. +Soleni is the only one of our battery who is going on the barge; +the rest of us are going with the main body. Three batteries are +leaving to-day, another three to-morrow and then the town will be +quiet and peaceful. + +TUZENBACH. And terribly dull. + +RODE. And where is Maria Sergeyevna? + +KULIGIN. Masha is in the garden. + +FEDOTIK. We'd like to say good-bye to her. + +RODE. Good-bye, I must go, or else I'll start weeping. ... [Quickly +embraces KULIGIN and TUZENBACH, and kisses IRINA'S hand] We've been +so happy here. ... + +FEDOTIK. [To KULIGIN] Here's a keepsake for you ... a note-book +with a pencil. ... We'll go to the river from here. ... [They go +aside and both look round.] + +RODE. [Shouts] Yo-ho! + +KULIGIN. [Shouts] Good-bye! + +[At the back of the stage FEDOTIK and RODE meet MASHA; they say +good-bye and go out with her.] + +IRINA. They've gone. ... [Sits on the bottom step of the terrace.] + +CHEBUTIKIN. And they forgot to say good-bye to me. + +IRINA. But why is that? + +CHEBUTIKIN. I just forgot, somehow. Though I'll soon see them +again, I'm going to-morrow. Yes ... just one day left. I shall be +retired in a year, then I'll come here again, and finish my life +near you. I've only one year before I get my pension. ... [Puts one +newspaper into his pocket and takes another out] I'll come here to +you and change my life radically ... I'll be so quiet ... so agree ... +agreeable, respectable. ... + +IRINA. Yes, you ought to change your life, dear man, somehow or +other. + +CHEBUTIKIN. Yes, I feel it. [Sings softly.] + "Tarara-boom-deay. ..." + +KULIGIN. We won't reform Ivan Romanovitch! We won't reform him! + +CHEBUTIKIN. If only I was apprenticed to you! Then I'd reform. + +IRINA. Feodor has shaved his moustache! I can't bear to look at +him. + +KULIGIN. Well, what about it? + +CHEBUTIKIN. I could tell you what your face looks like now, but it +wouldn't be polite. + +KULIGIN. Well! It's the custom, it's modus vivendi. Our Director is +clean-shaven, and so I too, when I received my inspectorship, had +my moustaches removed. Nobody likes it, but it's all one to me. I'm +satisfied. Whether I've got moustaches or not, I'm satisfied. ... +[Sits.] + +[At the back of the stage ANDREY is wheeling a perambulator +containing a sleeping infant.] + +IRINA. Ivan Romanovitch, be a darling. I'm awfully worried. You +were out on the boulevard last night; tell me, what happened? + +CHEBUTIKIN. What happened? Nothing. Quite a trifling matter. [Reads +paper] Of no importance! + +KULIGIN. They say that Soleni and the Baron met yesterday on the +boulevard near the theatre. ... + +TUZENBACH. Stop! What right ... [Waves his hand and goes into the +house.] + +KULIGIN. Near the theatre ... Soleni started behaving offensively +to the Baron, who lost his temper and said something nasty. ... + +CHEBUTIKIN. I don't know. It's all bunkum. + +KULIGIN. At some seminary or other a master wrote "bunkum" on an +essay, and the student couldn't make the letters out--thought it +was a Latin word "luckum." [Laughs] Awfully funny, that. They say +that Soleni is in love with Irina and hates the Baron. ... That's +quite natural. Irina is a very nice girl. She's even like Masha, +she's so thoughtful. ... Only, Irina your character is gentler. +Though Masha's character, too, is a very good one. I'm very fond of +Masha. [Shouts of "Yo-ho!" are heard behind the stage.] + +IRINA. [Shudders] Everything seems to frighten me today. [Pause] +I've got everything ready, and I send my things off after dinner. +The Baron and I will be married to-morrow, and to-morrow we go away +to the brickworks, and the next day I go to the school, and the new +life begins. God will help me! When I took my examination for the +teacher's post, I actually wept for joy and gratitude. ... [Pause] +The cart will be here in a minute for my things. ... + +KULIGIN. Somehow or other, all this doesn't seem at all serious. As +if it was all ideas, and nothing really serious. Still, with all my +soul I wish you happiness. + +CHEBUTIKIN. [With deep feeling] My splendid ... my dear, precious +girl. ... You've gone on far ahead, I won't catch up with you. I'm +left behind like a migrant bird grown old, and unable to fly. Fly, +my dear, fly, and God be with you! [Pause] It's a pity you shaved +your moustaches, Feodor Ilitch. + +KULIGIN. Oh, drop it! [Sighs] To-day the soldiers will be gone, and +everything will go on as in the old days. Say what you will, Masha +is a good, honest woman. I love her very much, and thank my fate +for her. People have such different fates. There's a Kosirev who +works in the excise department here. He was at school with me; he +was expelled from the fifth class of the High School for being +entirely unable to understand _ut consecutivum_. He's awfully hard +up now and in very poor health, and when I meet him I say to him, +"How do you do, _ut consecutivum_." "Yes," he says, "precisely +_consecutivum_ ..." and coughs. But I've been successful all my +life, I'm happy, and I even have a Stanislaus Cross, of the second +class, and now I myself teach others that _ut consecutivum_. Of +course, I'm a clever man, much cleverer than many, but happiness +doesn't only lie in that. ... + +["The Maiden's Prayer" is being played on the piano in the house.] + +IRINA. To-morrow night I shan't hear that "Maiden's Prayer" any +more, and I shan't be meeting Protopopov. ... [Pause] Protopopov is +sitting there in the drawing-room; and he came to-day ... + +KULIGIN. Hasn't the head-mistress come yet? + +IRINA. No. She has been sent for. If you only knew how difficult it +is for me to live alone, without Olga. ... She lives at the High +School; she, a head-mistress, busy all day with her affairs and I'm +alone, bored, with nothing to do, and hate the room I live in. ... +I've made up my mind: if I can't live in Moscow, then it must come +to this. It's fate. It can't be helped. It's all the will of God, +that's the truth. Nicolai Lvovitch made me a proposal. ... Well? I +thought it over and made up my mind. He's a good man ... it's quite +remarkable how good he is. ... And suddenly my soul put out wings, +I became happy, and light-hearted, and once again the desire for +work, work, came over me. ... Only something happened yesterday, +some secret dread has been hanging over me. ... + +CHEBUTIKIN. Luckum. Rubbish. + +NATASHA. [At the window] The head-mistress. + +KULIGIN. The head-mistress has come. Let's go. [Exit with IRINA +into the house.] + +CHEBUTIKIN. "It is my washing day. ... Tara-ra ... boom-deay." + +[MASHA approaches, ANDREY is wheeling a perambulator at the back.] + +MASHA. Here you are, sitting here, doing nothing. + +CHEBUTIKIN. What then? + +MASHA. [Sits] Nothing. ... [Pause] Did you love my mother? + +CHEBUTIKIN. Very much. + +MASHA. And did she love you? + +CHEBUTIKIN. [After a pause] I don't remember that. + +MASHA. Is my man here? When our cook Martha used to ask about her +gendarme, she used to say my man. Is he here? + +CHEBUTIKIN. Not yet. + +MASHA. When you take your happiness in little bits, in snatches, +and then lose it, as I have done, you gradually get coarser, more +bitter. [Points to her bosom] I'm boiling in here. ... [Looks at +ANDREY with the perambulator] There's our brother Andrey. ... All +our hopes in him have gone. There was once a great bell, a thousand +persons were hoisting it, much money and labour had been spent on +it, when it suddenly fell and was broken. Suddenly, for no +particular reason. ... Andrey is like that. ... + +ANDREY. When are they going to stop making such a noise in the +house? It's awful. + +CHEBUTIKIN. They won't be much longer. [Looks at his watch] My +watch is very old-fashioned, it strikes the hours. ... [Winds the +watch and makes it strike] The first, second, and fifth batteries +are to leave at one o'clock precisely. [Pause] And I go to-morrow. + +ANDREY. For good? + +CHEBUTIKIN. I don't know. Perhaps I'll return in a year. The devil +only knows ... it's all one. ... [Somewhere a harp and violin are +being played.] + +ANDREY. The town will grow empty. It will be as if they put a cover +over it. [Pause] Something happened yesterday by the theatre. The +whole town knows of it, but I don't. + +CHEBUTIKIN. Nothing. A silly little affair. Soleni started +irritating the Baron, who lost his temper and insulted him, and so +at last Soleni had to challenge him. [Looks at his watch] It's +about time, I think. ... At half-past twelve, in the public wood, +that one you can see from here across the river. ... Piff-paff. +[Laughs] Soleni thinks he's Lermontov, and even writes verses. +That's all very well, but this is his third duel. + +MASHA. Whose? + +CHEBUTIKIN. Soleni's. + +MASHA. And the Baron? + +CHEBUTIKIN. What about the Baron? [Pause.] + +MASHA. Everything's all muddled up in my head. ... But I say it +ought not to be allowed. He might wound the Baron or even kill him. + +CHEBUTIKIN. The Baron is a good man, but one Baron more or less-- +what difference does it make? It's all the same! [Beyond the garden +somebody shouts "Co-ee! Hallo! "] You wait. That's Skvortsov +shouting; one of the seconds. He's in a boat. [Pause.] + +ANDREY. In my opinion it's simply immoral to fight in a duel, or to +be present, even in the quality of a doctor. + +CHEBUTIKIN. It only seems so. ... We don't exist, there's nothing +on earth, we don't really live, it only seems that we live. Does it +matter, anyway! + +MASHA. You talk and talk the whole day long. [Going] You live in a +climate like this, where it might snow any moment, and there you +talk. ... [Stops] I won't go into the house, I can't go there. ... +Tell me when Vershinin comes. ... [Goes along the avenue] The +migrant birds are already on the wing. ... [Looks up] Swans or +geese. ... My dear, happy things. ... [Exit.] + +ANDREY. Our house will be empty. The officers will go away, you are +going, my sister is getting married, and I alone will remain in the +house. + +CHEBUTIKIN. And your wife? + +[FERAPONT enters with some documents.] + +ANDREY. A wife's a wife. She's honest, well-bred, yes; and kind, +but with all that there is still something about her that +degenerates her into a petty, blind, even in some respects +misshapen animal. In any case, she isn't a man. I tell you as a +friend, as the only man to whom I can lay bare my soul. I love +Natasha, it's true, but sometimes she seems extraordinarily vulgar, +and then I lose myself and can't understand why I love her so much, +or, at any rate, used to love her. ... + +CHEBUTIKIN. [Rises] I'm going away to-morrow, old chap, and perhaps +we'll never meet again, so here's my advice. Put on your cap, take +a stick in your hand, go ... go on and on, without looking round. +And the farther you go, the better. + +[SOLENI goes across the back of the stage with two officers; he +catches sight of CHEBUTIKIN, and turns to him, the officers go on.] + +SOLENI. Doctor, it's time. It's half-past twelve already. [Shakes +hands with ANDREY.] + +CHEBUTIKIN. Half a minute. I'm tired of the lot of you. [To ANDREY] +If anybody asks for me, say I'll be back soon. ... [Sighs] Oh, oh, +oh! + +SOLENI. "He didn't have the time to sigh. The bear sat on him +heavily." [Goes up to him] What are you groaning about, old man? + +CHEBUTIKIN. Stop it! + +SOLENI. How's your health? + +CHEBUTIKIN. [Angry] Mind your own business. + +SOLENI. The old man is unnecessarily excited. I won't go far, I'll +only just bring him down like a snipe. [Takes out his scent-bottle +and scents his hands] I've poured out a whole bottle of scent +to-day and they still smell ... of a dead body. [Pause] Yes. ... +You remember the poem + "But he, the rebel seeks the storm, + As if the storm will bring him rest ..."? + +CHEBUTIKIN. Yes. + "He didn't have the time to sigh, + The bear sat on him heavily." +[Exit with SOLENI.] + +[Shouts are heard. ANDREY and FERAPONT come in.] + +FERAPONT. Documents to sign. ... + +ANDREY. [Irritated]. Go away! Leave me! Please! [Goes away with the +perambulator.] + +FERAPONT. That's what documents are for, to be signed. [Retires to +back of stage.] + +[Enter IRINA, with TUZENBACH in a straw hat; KULIGIN walks across +the stage, shouting "Co-ee, Masha, co-ee!"] + +TUZENBACH. He seems to be the only man in the town who is glad that +the soldiers are going. + +IRINA. One can understand that. [Pause] The town will be empty. + +TUZENBACH. My dear, I shall return soon. + +IRINA. Where are you going? + +TUZENBACH. I must go into the town and then ... see the others off. + +IRINA. It's not true ... Nicolai, why are you so absentminded +to-day? [Pause] What took place by the theatre yesterday? + +TUZENBACH. [Making a movement of impatience] In an hour's time I +shall return and be with you again. [Kisses her hands] My darling ... +[Looking her closely in the face] it's five years now since I fell +in love with you, and still I can't get used to it, and you seem to +me to grow more and more beautiful. What lovely, wonderful hair! +What eyes! I'm going to take you away to-morrow. We shall work, we +shall be rich, my dreams will come true. You will be happy. There's +only one thing, one thing only: you don't love me! + +IRINA. It isn't in my power! I shall be your wife, I shall be true +to you, and obedient to you, but I can't love you. What can I do! +[Cries] I have never been in love in my life. Oh, I used to think +so much of love, I have been thinking about it for so long by day +and by night, but my soul is like an expensive piano which is +locked and the key lost. [Pause] You seem so unhappy. + +TUZENBACH. I didn't sleep at night. There is nothing in my life so +awful as to be able to frighten me, only that lost key torments my +soul and does not let me sleep. Say something to me [Pause] say +something to me. ... + +IRINA. What can I say, what? + +TUZENBACH. Anything. + +IRINA. Don't! don't! [Pause.] + +TUZENBACH. It is curious how silly trivial little things, sometimes +for no apparent reason, become significant. At first you laugh at +these things, you think they are of no importance, you go on and +you feel that you haven't got the strength to stop yourself. Oh +don't let's talk about it! I am happy. It is as if for the first +time in my life I see these firs, maples, beeches, and they all +look at me inquisitively and wait. What beautiful trees and how +beautiful, when one comes to think of it, life must be near them! +[A shout of Co-ee! in the distance] It's time I went. ... There's a +tree which has dried up but it still sways in the breeze with the +others. And so it seems to me that if I die, I shall still take +part in life in one way or another. Good-bye, dear. ... [Kisses her +hands] The papers which you gave me are on my table under the +calendar. + +IRINA. I am coming with you. + +TUZENBACH. [Nervously] No, no! [He goes quickly and stops in the +avenue] Irina! + +IRINA. What is it? + +TUZENBACH. [Not knowing what to say] I haven't had any coffee +to-day. Tell them to make me some. ... [He goes out quickly.] + +[IRINA stands deep in thought. Then she goes to the back of the +stage and sits on a swing. ANDREY comes in with the perambulator +and FERAPONT also appears.] + +FERAPONT. Andrey Sergeyevitch, it isn't as if the documents were +mine, they are the government's. I didn't make them. + +ANDREY. Oh, what has become of my past and where is it? I used to +be young, happy, clever, I used to be able to think and frame +clever ideas, the present and the future seemed to me full of hope. +Why do we, almost before we have begun to live, become dull, grey, +uninteresting, lazy, apathetic, useless, unhappy. ... This town has +already been in existence for two hundred years and it has a +hundred thousand inhabitants, not one of whom is in any way +different from the others. There has never been, now or at any +other time, a single leader of men, a single scholar, an artist, a +man of even the slightest eminence who might arouse envy or a +passionate desire to be imitated. They only eat, drink, sleep, and +then they die ... more people are born and also eat, drink, sleep, +and so as not to go silly from boredom, they try to make life +many-sided with their beastly backbiting, vodka, cards, and +litigation. The wives deceive their husbands, and the husbands lie, +and pretend they see nothing and hear nothing, and the evil +influence irresistibly oppresses the children and the divine spark +in them is extinguished, and they become just as pitiful corpses +and just as much like one another as their fathers and mothers. ... +[Angrily to FERAPONT] What do you want? + +FERAPONT. What? Documents want signing. + +ANDREY. I'm tired of you. + +FERAPONT. [Handing him papers] The hall-porter from the law courts +was saying just now that in the winter there were two hundred +degrees of frost in Petersburg. + +ANDREY. The present is beastly, but when I think of the future, how +good it is! I feel so light, so free; there is a light in the +distance, I see freedom. I see myself and my children freeing +ourselves from vanities, from kvass, from goose baked with cabbage, +from after-dinner naps, from base idleness. ... + +FERAPONT. He was saying that two thousand people were frozen to +death. The people were frightened, he said. In Petersburg or +Moscow, I don't remember which. + +ANDREY. [Overcome by a tender emotion] My dear sisters, my +beautiful sisters! [Crying] Masha, my sister. ... + +NATASHA. [At the window] Who's talking so loudly out here? Is that +you, Andrey? You'll wake little Sophie. _Il ne faut pas faire du +bruit, la Sophie est dormee deja. Vous etes un ours._ [Angrily] If +you want to talk, then give the perambulator and the baby to +somebody else. Ferapont, take the perambulator! + +FERAPONT. Yes'm. [Takes the perambulator.] + +ANDREY. [Confused] I'm speaking quietly. + +NATASHA. [At the window, nursing her boy] Bobby! Naughty Bobby! Bad +little Bobby! + +ANDREY. [Looking through the papers] All right, I'll look them over +and sign if necessary, and you can take them back to the offices. ... + +[Goes into house reading papers; FERAPONT takes the perambulator to +the back of the garden.] + +NATASHA. [At the window] Bobby, what's your mother's name? Dear, +dear! And who's this? That's Aunt Olga. Say to your aunt, "How do +you do, Olga!" + +[Two wandering musicians, a man and a girl, are playing on a violin +and a harp. VERSHININ, OLGA, and ANFISA come out of the house and +listen for a minute in silence; IRINA comes up to them.] + +OLGA. Our garden might be a public thoroughfare, from the way +people walk and ride across it. Nurse, give those musicians +something! + +ANFISA. [Gives money to the musicians] Go away with God's blessing +on you. [The musicians bow and go away] A bitter sort of people. +You don't play on a full stomach. [To IRINA] How do you do, Arisha! +[Kisses her] Well, little girl, here I am, still alive! Still +alive! In the High School, together with little Olga, in her +official apartments ... so the Lord has appointed for my old age. +Sinful woman that I am, I've never lived like that in my life +before. ... A large flat, government property, and I've a whole +room and bed to myself. All government property. I wake up at +nights and, oh God, and Holy Mother, there isn't a happier person +than I! + +VERSHININ. [Looks at his watch] We are going soon, Olga Sergeyevna. +It's time for me to go. [Pause] I wish you every ... every. ... +Where's Maria Sergeyevna? + +IRINA. She's somewhere in the garden. I'll go and look for her. + +VERSHININ. If you'll be so kind. I haven't time. + +ANFISA. I'll go and look, too. [Shouts] Little Masha, co-ee! [Goes +out with IRINA down into the garden] Co-ee, co-ee! + +VERSHININ. Everything comes to an end. And so we, too, must part. +[Looks at his watch] The town gave us a sort of farewell breakfast, +we had champagne to drink and the mayor made a speech, and I ate +and listened, but my soul was here all the time. ... [Looks round +the garden] I'm so used to you now. + +OLGA. Shall we ever meet again? + +VERSHININ. Probably not. [Pause] My wife and both my daughters will +stay here another two months. If anything happens, or if anything +has to be done ... + +OLGA. Yes, yes, of course. You need not worry. [Pause] To-morrow +there won't be a single soldier left in the town, it will all be a +memory, and, of course, for us a new life will begin. ... [Pause] +None of our plans are coming right. I didn't want to be a +head-mistress, but they made me one, all the same. It means there's +no chance of Moscow. ... + +VERSHININ. Well ... thank you for everything. Forgive me if I've ... +I've said such an awful lot--forgive me for that too, don't think +badly of me. + +OLGA. [Wipes her eyes] Why isn't Masha coming ... + +VERSHININ. What else can I say in parting? Can I philosophize about +anything? [Laughs] Life is heavy. To many of us it seems dull and +hopeless, but still, it must be acknowledged that it is getting +lighter and clearer, and it seems that the time is not far off when +it will be quite clear. [Looks at his watch] It's time I went! +Mankind used to be absorbed in wars, and all its existence was +filled with campaigns, attacks, defeats, now we've outlived all +that, leaving after us a great waste place, which there is nothing +to fill with at present; but mankind is looking for something, and +will certainly find it. Oh, if it only happened more quickly. +[Pause] If only education could be added to industry, and industry +to education. [Looks at his watch] It's time I went. ... + +OLGA. Here she comes. + +[Enter MASHA.] + +VERSHININ. I came to say good-bye. ... + +[OLGA steps aside a little, so as not to be in their way.] + +MASHA. [Looking him in the face] Good-bye. [Prolonged kiss.] + +OLGA. Don't, don't. [MASHA is crying bitterly] + +VERSHININ. Write to me. ... Don't forget! Let me go. ... It's time. +Take her, Olga Sergeyevna ... it's time ... I'm late ... + +[He kisses OLGA'S hand in evident emotion, then embraces MASHA once +more and goes out quickly.] + +OLGA. Don't, Masha! Stop, dear. ... [KULIGIN enters.] + +KULIGIN. [Confused] Never mind, let her cry, let her. ... My dear +Masha, my good Masha. ... You're my wife, and I'm happy, whatever +happens ... I'm not complaining, I don't reproach you at all. ... +Olga is a witness to it. Let's begin to live again as we used to, +and not by a single word, or hint ... + +MASHA. [Restraining her sobs] + "There stands a green oak by the sea, + And a chain of bright gold is around it. ... + And a chain of bright gold is around it. ..." + +I'm going off my head ... "There stands ... a green oak ... by the +sea." ... + +OLGA. Don't, Masha, don't ... give her some water. ... + +MASHA. I'm not crying any more. ... + +KULIGIN. She's not crying any more ... she's a good ... [A shot is +heard from a distance.] + +MASHA. + "There stands a green oak by the sea, + And a chain of bright gold is around it ... + An oak of green gold. ..." + +I'm mixing it up. ... [Drinks some water] Life is dull. . . I don't +want anything more now ... I'll be all right in a moment. ... It +doesn't matter. ... What do those lines mean? Why do they run in +my head? My thoughts are all tangled. + +[IRINA enters.] + +OLGA. Be quiet, Masha. There's a good girl. ... Let's go in. + +MASHA. [Angrily] I shan't go in there. [Sobs, but controls herself +at once] I'm not going to go into the house, I won't go. ... + +IRINA. Let's sit here together and say nothing. I'm going away +to-morrow. ... [Pause.] + +KULIGIN. Yesterday I took away these whiskers and this beard from +a boy in the third class. ... [He puts on the whiskers and beard] +Don't I look like the German master. ... [Laughs] Don't I? The boys +are amusing. + +MASHA. You really do look like that German of yours. + +OLGA. [Laughs] Yes. [MASHA weeps.] + +IRINA. Don't, Masha! + +KULIGIN. It's a very good likeness. ... + +[Enter NATASHA.] + +NATASHA. [To the maid] What? Mihail Ivanitch Protopopov will sit with +little Sophie, and Andrey Sergeyevitch can take little Bobby out. +Children are such a bother. ... [To IRINA] Irina, it's such a pity +you're going away to-morrow. Do stop just another week. [Sees KULIGIN +and screams; he laughs and takes off his beard and whiskers] How you +frightened me! [To IRINA] I've grown used to you and do you think it +will be easy for me to part from you? I'm going to have Andrey and +his violin put into your room--let him fiddle away in there!--and +we'll put little Sophie into his room. The beautiful, lovely child! +What a little girlie! To-day she looked at me with such pretty eyes +and said "Mamma!" + +KULIGIN. A beautiful child, it's quite true. + +NATASHA. That means I shall have the place to myself to-morrow. [Sighs] +In the first place I shall have that avenue of fir-trees cut down, then +that maple. It's so ugly at nights. ... [To IRINA] That belt doesn't +suit you at all, dear. ... It's an error of taste. And I'll give orders +to have lots and lots of little flowers planted here, and they'll +smell. ... [Severely] Why is there a fork lying about here on the seat? +[Going towards the house, to the maid] Why is there a fork lying about +here on the seat, I say? [Shouts] Don't you dare to answer me! + +KULIGIN. Temper! temper! [A march is played off; they all listen.] + +OLGA. They're going. + +[CHEBUTIKIN comes in.] + +MASHA. They're going. Well, well. ... Bon voyage! [To her husband] We +must be going home. ... Where's my coat and hat? + +KULIGIN. I took them in ... I'll bring them, in a moment. + +OLGA. Yes, now we can all go home. It's time. + +CHEBUTIKIN. Olga Sergeyevna! + +OLGA. What is it? [Pause] What is it? + +CHEBUTIKIN. Nothing ... I don't know how to tell you. ... [Whispers +to her.] + +OLGA. [Frightened] It can't be true! + +CHEBUTIKIN. Yes ... such a story ... I'm tired out, exhausted, I won't +say any more. ... [Sadly] Still, it's all the same! + +MASHA. What's happened? + +OLGA. [Embraces IRINA] This is a terrible day ... I don't know how to +tell you, dear. ... + +IRINA. What is it? Tell me quickly, what is it? For God's sake! [Cries.] + +CHEBUTIKIN. The Baron was killed in the duel just now. + +IRINA. [Cries softly] I knew it, I knew it. ... + +CHEBUTIKIN. [Sits on a bench at the back of the stage] I'm tired. ... +[Takes a paper from his pocket] Let 'em cry. ... [Sings softly] +"Tarara-boom-deay, it is my washing day. ..." Isn't it all the same! + +[The three sisters are standing, pressing against one another.] + +MASHA. Oh, how the music plays! They are leaving us, one has quite +left us, quite and for ever. We remain alone, to begin our life over +again. We must live ... we must live. ... + +IRINA. [Puts her head on OLGA's bosom] There will come a time when +everybody will know why, for what purpose, there is all this suffering, +and there will be no more mysteries. But now we must live ... we must +work, just work! To-morrow, I'll go away alone, and I'll teach and give +my whole life to those who, perhaps, need it. It's autumn now, soon it +will be winter, the snow will cover everything, and I shall be working, +working. ... + +OLGA. [Embraces both her sisters] The bands are playing so gaily, so +bravely, and one does so want to live! Oh, my God! Time will pass on, +and we shall depart for ever, we shall be forgotten; they will forget +our faces, voices, and even how many there were of us, but our sufferings +will turn into joy for those who will live after us, happiness and +peace will reign on earth, and people will remember with kindly words, +and bless those who are living now. Oh dear sisters, our life is not +yet at an end. Let us live. The music is so gay, so joyful, and, it +seems that in a little while we shall know why we are living, why +we are suffering. ... If we could only know, if we could only know! + +[The music has been growing softer and softer; KULIGIN, smiling happily, +brings out the hat and coat; ANDREY wheels out the perambulator in +which BOBBY is sitting.] + +CHEBUTIKIN. [Sings softly] "Tara. . . ra-boom-deay. ... It is my +washing-day." ... [Reads a paper] It's all the same! It's all the same! + +OLGA. If only we could know, if only we could know! + +Curtain. + + + +THE CHERRY ORCHARD +A COMEDY IN FOUR ACTS + + +CHARACTERS + +LUBOV ANDREYEVNA RANEVSKY (Mme. RANEVSKY), a landowner +ANYA, her daughter, aged seventeen +VARYA (BARBARA), her adopted daughter, aged twenty-seven +LEONID ANDREYEVITCH GAEV, Mme. Ranevsky's brother +ERMOLAI ALEXEYEVITCH LOPAKHIN, a merchant +PETER SERGEYEVITCH TROFIMOV, a student +BORIS BORISOVITCH SIMEONOV-PISCHIN, a landowner +CHARLOTTA IVANOVNA, a governess +SIMEON PANTELEYEVITCH EPIKHODOV, a clerk +DUNYASHA (AVDOTYA FEDOROVNA), a maidservant +FIERS, an old footman, aged eighty-seven +YASHA, a young footman +A TRAMP +A STATION-MASTER +POST-OFFICE CLERK +GUESTS +A SERVANT + +The action takes place on Mme. RANEVSKY'S estate + + +ACT ONE + + +[A room which is still called the nursery. One of the doors leads +into ANYA'S room. It is close on sunrise. It is May. The cherry-trees +are in flower but it is chilly in the garden. There is an early +frost. The windows of the room are shut. DUNYASHA comes in with a +candle, and LOPAKHIN with a book in his hand.] + +LOPAKHIN. The train's arrived, thank God. What's the time? + +DUNYASHA. It will soon be two. [Blows out candle] It is light +already. + +LOPAKHIN. How much was the train late? Two hours at least. [Yawns +and stretches himself] I have made a rotten mess of it! I came here +on purpose to meet them at the station, and then overslept myself ... +in my chair. It's a pity. I wish you'd wakened me. + +DUNYASHA. I thought you'd gone away. [Listening] I think I hear +them coming. + +LOPAKHIN. [Listens] No. ... They've got to collect their luggage +and so on. ... [Pause] Lubov Andreyevna has been living abroad for +five years; I don't know what she'll be like now. ... She's a good +sort--an easy, simple person. I remember when I was a boy of +fifteen, my father, who is dead--he used to keep a shop in the +village here--hit me on the face with his fist, and my nose bled. ... +We had gone into the yard together for something or other, and he +was a little drunk. Lubov Andreyevna, as I remember her now, was +still young, and very thin, and she took me to the washstand here +in this very room, the nursery. She said, "Don't cry, little man, +it'll be all right in time for your wedding." [Pause] "Little man". ... +My father was a peasant, it's true, but here I am in a white +waistcoat and yellow shoes ... a pearl out of an oyster. I'm rich +now, with lots of money, but just think about it and examine me, +and you'll find I'm still a peasant down to the marrow of my bones. +[Turns over the pages of his book] Here I've been reading this +book, but I understood nothing. I read and fell asleep. [Pause.] + +DUNYASHA. The dogs didn't sleep all night; they know that they're +coming. + +LOPAKHIN. What's up with you, Dunyasha ...? + +DUNYASHA. My hands are shaking. I shall faint. + +LOPAKHIN. You're too sensitive, Dunyasha. You dress just like a +lady, and you do your hair like one too. You oughtn't. You should +know your place. + +EPIKHODOV. [Enters with a bouquet. He wears a short jacket and +brilliantly polished boots which squeak audibly. He drops the +bouquet as he enters, then picks it up] The gardener sent these; +says they're to go into the dining-room. [Gives the bouquet to +DUNYASHA.] + +LOPAKHIN. And you'll bring me some kvass. + +DUNYASHA. Very well. [Exit.] + +EPIKHODOV. There's a frost this morning--three degrees, and the +cherry-trees are all in flower. I can't approve of our climate. +[Sighs] I can't. Our climate is indisposed to favour us even this +once. And, Ermolai Alexeyevitch, allow me to say to you, in +addition, that I bought myself some boots two days ago, and I beg +to assure you that they squeak in a perfectly unbearable manner. +What shall I put on them? + +LOPAKHIN. Go away. You bore me. + +EPIKHODOV. Some misfortune happens to me every day. But I don't +complain; I'm used to it, and I can smile. [DUNYASHA comes in and +brings LOPAKHIN some kvass] I shall go. [Knocks over a chair] +There. ... [Triumphantly] There, you see, if I may use the word, +what circumstances I am in, so to speak. It is even simply +marvellous. [Exit.] + +DUNYASHA. I may confess to you, Ermolai Alexeyevitch, that +Epikhodov has proposed to me. + +LOPAKHIN. Ah! + +DUNYASHA. I don't know what to do about it. He's a nice young man, +but every now and again, when he begins talking, you can't +understand a word he's saying. I think I like him. He's madly in +love with me. He's an unlucky man; every day something happens. We +tease him about it. They call him "Two-and-twenty troubles." + +LOPAKHIN. [Listens] There they come, I think. + +DUNYASHA. They're coming! What's the matter with me? I'm cold all +over. + +LOPAKHIN. There they are, right enough. Let's go and meet them. +Will she know me? We haven't seen each other for five years. + +DUNYASHA. [Excited] I shall faint in a minute. ... Oh, I'm +fainting! + +[Two carriages are heard driving up to the house. LOPAKHIN and +DUNYASHA quickly go out. The stage is empty. A noise begins in the +next room. FIERS, leaning on a stick, walks quickly across the +stage; he has just been to meet LUBOV ANDREYEVNA. He wears an +old-fashioned livery and a tall hat. He is saying something to +himself, but not a word of it can be made out. The noise behind the +stage gets louder and louder. A voice is heard: "Let's go in +there." Enter LUBOV ANDREYEVNA, ANYA, and CHARLOTTA IVANOVNA with a +little dog on a chain, and all dressed in travelling clothes, VARYA +in a long coat and with a kerchief on her head. GAEV, SIMEONOV-PISCHIN, +LOPAKHIN, DUNYASHA with a parcel and an umbrella, and a servant +with luggage--all cross the room.] + +ANYA. Let's come through here. Do you remember what this room is, +mother? + +LUBOV. [Joyfully, through her tears] The nursery! + +VARYA. How cold it is! My hands are quite numb. [To LUBOV +ANDREYEVNA] Your rooms, the white one and the violet one, are just +as they used to be, mother. + +LUBOV. My dear nursery, oh, you beautiful room. ... I used to sleep +here when I was a baby. [Weeps] And here I am like a little girl +again. [Kisses her brother, VARYA, then her brother again] And +Varya is just as she used to be, just like a nun. And I knew +Dunyasha. [Kisses her.] + +GAEV. The train was two hours late. There now; how's that for +punctuality? + +CHARLOTTA. [To PISCHIN] My dog eats nuts too. + +PISCHIN. [Astonished] To think of that, now! + +[All go out except ANYA and DUNYASHA.] + +DUNYASHA. We did have to wait for you! + +[Takes off ANYA'S cloak and hat.] + +ANYA. I didn't get any sleep for four nights on the journey. ... +I'm awfully cold. + +DUNYASHA. You went away during Lent, when it was snowing and +frosty, but now? Darling! [Laughs and kisses her] We did have to +wait for you, my joy, my pet. ... I must tell you at once, I can't +bear to wait a minute. + +ANYA. [Tired] Something else now ...? + +DUNYASHA. The clerk, Epikhodov, proposed to me after Easter. + +ANYA. Always the same. ... [Puts her hair straight] I've lost all +my hairpins. ... [She is very tired, and even staggers as she +walks.] + +DUNYASHA. I don't know what to think about it. He loves me, he +loves me so much! + +ANYA. [Looks into her room; in a gentle voice] My room, my windows, +as if I'd never gone away. I'm at home! To-morrow morning I'll get +up and have a run in the garden. ...Oh, if I could only get to +sleep! I didn't sleep the whole journey, I was so bothered. + +DUNYASHA. Peter Sergeyevitch came two days ago. + +ANYA. [Joyfully] Peter! + +DUNYASHA. He sleeps in the bath-house, he lives there. He said he +was afraid he'd be in the way. [Looks at her pocket-watch] I ought +to wake him, but Barbara Mihailovna told me not to. "Don't wake +him," she said. + +[Enter VARYA, a bunch of keys on her belt.] + +VARYA. Dunyasha, some coffee, quick. Mother wants some. + +DUNYASHA. This minute. [Exit.] + +VARYA. Well, you've come, glory be to God. Home again. [Caressing +her] My darling is back again! My pretty one is back again! + +ANYA. I did have an awful time, I tell you. + +VARYA. I can just imagine it! + +ANYA. I went away in Holy Week; it was very cold then. Charlotta +talked the whole way and would go on performing her tricks. Why did +you tie Charlotta on to me? + +VARYA. You couldn't go alone, darling, at seventeen! + +ANYA. We went to Paris; it's cold there and snowing. I talk French +perfectly horribly. My mother lives on the fifth floor. I go to +her, and find her there with various Frenchmen, women, an old abbe +with a book, and everything in tobacco smoke and with no comfort at +all. I suddenly became very sorry for mother--so sorry that I took +her head in my arms and hugged her and wouldn't let her go. Then +mother started hugging me and crying. ... + +VARYA. [Weeping] Don't say any more, don't say any more. ... + +ANYA. She's already sold her villa near Mentone; she's nothing +left, nothing. And I haven't a copeck left either; we only just +managed to get here. And mother won't understand! We had dinner at +a station; she asked for all the expensive things, and tipped the +waiters one rouble each. And Charlotta too. Yasha wants his share +too--it's too bad. Mother's got a footman now, Yasha; we've +brought him here. + +VARYA. I saw the wretch. + +ANYA. How's business? Has the interest been paid? + +VARYA. Not much chance of that. + +ANYA. Oh God, oh God ... + +VARYA. The place will be sold in August. + +ANYA. O God. ... + +LOPAKHIN. [Looks in at the door and moos] Moo! ... [Exit.] + +VARYA. [Through her tears] I'd like to. ... [Shakes her fist.] + +ANYA. [Embraces VARYA, softly] Varya, has he proposed to you? +[VARYA shakes head] But he loves you. ... Why don't you make up +your minds? Why do you keep on waiting? + +VARYA. I think that it will all come to nothing. He's a busy man. +I'm not his affair ... he pays no attention to me. Bless the man, I +don't want to see him. ... But everybody talks about our marriage, +everybody congratulates me, and there's nothing in it at all, it's +all like a dream. [In another tone] You've got a brooch like a bee. + +ANYA. [Sadly] Mother bought it. [Goes into her room, and talks +lightly, like a child] In Paris I went up in a balloon! + +VARYA. My darling's come back, my pretty one's come back! [DUNYASHA +has already returned with the coffee-pot and is making the coffee, +VARYA stands near the door] I go about all day, looking after the +house, and I think all the time, if only you could marry a rich +man, then I'd be happy and would go away somewhere by myself, then +to Kiev ... to Moscow, and so on, from one holy place to another. +I'd tramp and tramp. That would be splendid! + +ANYA. The birds are singing in the garden. What time is it now? + +VARYA. It must be getting on for three. Time you went to sleep, +darling. [Goes into ANYA'S room] Splendid! + +[Enter YASHA with a plaid shawl and a travelling bag.] + +YASHA. [Crossing the stage: Politely] May I go this way? + +DUNYASHA. I hardly knew you, Yasha. You have changed abroad. + +YASHA. Hm ... and who are you? + +DUNYASHA. When you went away I was only so high. [Showing with her +hand] I'm Dunyasha, the daughter of Theodore Kozoyedov. You don't +remember! + +YASHA. Oh, you little cucumber! + +[Looks round and embraces her. She screams and drops a saucer. +YASHA goes out quickly.] + +VARYA. [In the doorway: In an angry voice] What's that? + +DUNYASHA. [Through her tears] I've broken a saucer. + +VARYA. It may bring luck. + +ANYA. [Coming out of her room] We must tell mother that Peter's +here. + +VARYA. I told them not to wake him. + +ANYA. [Thoughtfully] Father died six years ago, and a month later +my brother Grisha was drowned in the river--such a dear little boy +of seven! Mother couldn't bear it; she went away, away, without +looking round. ... [Shudders] How I understand her; if only she +knew! [Pause] And Peter Trofimov was Grisha's tutor, he might tell +her. ... + +[Enter FIERS in a short jacket and white waistcoat.] + +FIERS. [Goes to the coffee-pot, nervously] The mistress is going to +have some food here. ... [Puts on white gloves] Is the coffee +ready? [To DUNYASHA, severely] You! Where's the cream? + +DUNYASHA. Oh, dear me ...! [Rapid exit.] + +FIERS. [Fussing round the coffee-pot] Oh, you bungler. ... [Murmurs +to himself] Back from Paris ... the master went to Paris once ... +in a carriage. ... [Laughs.] + +VARYA. What are you talking about, Fiers? + +FIERS. I beg your pardon? [Joyfully] The mistress is home again. +I've lived to see her! Don't care if I die now. ... [Weeps with +joy.] + +[Enter LUBOV ANDREYEVNA, GAEV, LOPAKHIN, and SIMEONOV-PISCHIN, the +latter in a long jacket of thin cloth and loose trousers. GAEV, +coming in, moves his arms and body about as if he is playing +billiards.] + +LUBOV. Let me remember now. Red into the corner! Twice into the +centre! + +GAEV. Right into the pocket! Once upon a time you and I used both +to sleep in this room, and now I'm fifty-one; it does seem strange. + +LOPAKHIN. Yes, time does go. + +GAEV. Who does? + +LOPAKHIN. I said that time does go. + +GAEV. It smells of patchouli here. + +ANYA. I'm going to bed. Good-night, mother. [Kisses her.] + +LUBOV. My lovely little one. [Kisses her hand] Glad to be at home? +I can't get over it. + +ANYA. Good-night, uncle. + +GAEV. [Kisses her face and hands] God be with you. How you do +resemble your mother! [To his sister] You were just like her at her +age, Luba. + +[ANYA gives her hand to LOPAKHIN and PISCHIN and goes out, shutting +the door behind her.] + +LUBOV. She's awfully tired. + +PISCHIN. It's a very long journey. + +VARYA. [To LOPAKHIN and PISCHIN] Well, sirs, it's getting on for +three, quite time you went. + +LUBOV. [Laughs] You're just the same as ever, Varya. [Draws her +close and kisses her] I'll have some coffee now, then we'll all go. +[FIERS lays a cushion under her feet] Thank you, dear. I'm used to +coffee. I drink it day and night. Thank you, dear old man. [Kisses +FIERS.] + +VARYA. I'll go and see if they've brought in all the luggage. +[Exit.] + +LUBOV. Is it really I who am sitting here? [Laughs] I want to jump +about and wave my arms. [Covers her face with her hands] But +suppose I'm dreaming! God knows I love my own country, I love it +deeply; I couldn't look out of the railway carriage, I cried so +much. [Through her tears] Still, I must have my coffee. Thank you, +Fiers. Thank you, dear old man. I'm so glad you're still with us. + +FIERS. The day before yesterday. + +GAEV. He doesn't hear well. + +LOPAKHIN. I've got to go off to Kharkov by the five o'clock train. +I'm awfully sorry! I should like to have a look at you, to gossip a +little. You're as fine-looking as ever. + +PISCHIN. [Breathes heavily] Even finer-looking ... dressed in +Paris fashions ... confound it all. + +LOPAKHIN. Your brother, Leonid Andreyevitch, says I'm a snob, a +usurer, but that is absolutely nothing to me. Let him talk. Only I +do wish you would believe in me as you once did, that your +wonderful, touching eyes would look at me as they did before. +Merciful God! My father was the serf of your grandfather and your +own father, but you--you more than anybody else--did so much for me +once upon a time that I've forgotten everything and love you as if +you belonged to my family ... and even more. + +LUBOV. I can't sit still, I'm not in a state to do it. [Jumps up +and walks about in great excitement] I'll never survive this +happiness. ... You can laugh at me; I'm a silly woman. ... My dear +little cupboard. [Kisses cupboard] My little table. + +GAEV. Nurse has died in your absence. + +LUBOV. [Sits and drinks coffee] Yes, bless her soul. I heard by +letter. + +GAEV. And Anastasius has died too. Peter Kosoy has left me and now +lives in town with the Commissioner of Police. [Takes a box of +sugar-candy out of his pocket and sucks a piece.] + +PISCHIN. My daughter, Dashenka, sends her love. + +LOPAKHIN. I want to say something very pleasant, very delightful, +to you. [Looks at his watch] I'm going away at once, I haven't much +time ... but I'll tell you all about it in two or three words. As +you already know, your cherry orchard is to be sold to pay your +debts, and the sale is fixed for August 22; but you needn't be +alarmed, dear madam, you may sleep in peace; there's a way out. +Here's my plan. Please attend carefully! Your estate is only +thirteen miles from the town, the railway runs by, and if the +cherry orchard and the land by the river are broken up into +building lots and are then leased off for villas you'll get at +least twenty-five thousand roubles a year profit out of it. + +GAEV. How utterly absurd! + +LUBOV. I don't understand you at all, Ermolai Alexeyevitch. + +LOPAKHIN. You will get twenty-five roubles a year for each +dessiatin from the leaseholders at the very least, and if you +advertise now I'm willing to bet that you won't have a vacant plot +left by the autumn; they'll all go. In a word, you're saved. I +congratulate you. Only, of course, you'll have to put things +straight, and clean up. ... For instance, you'll have to pull down +all the old buildings, this house, which isn't any use to anybody +now, and cut down the old cherry orchard. ... + +LUBOV. Cut it down? My dear man, you must excuse me, but you don't +understand anything at all. If there's anything interesting or +remarkable in the whole province, it's this cherry orchard of ours. + +LOPAKHIN. The only remarkable thing about the orchard is that it's +very large. It only bears fruit every other year, and even then you +don't know what to do with them; nobody buys any. + +GAEV. This orchard is mentioned in the "Encyclopaedic Dictionary." + +LOPAKHIN. [Looks at his watch] If we can't think of anything and +don't make up our minds to anything, then on August 22, both the +cherry orchard and the whole estate will be up for auction. Make up +your mind! I swear there's no other way out, I'll swear it again. + +FIERS. In the old days, forty or fifty years back, they dried the +cherries, soaked them and pickled them, and made jam of them, and +it used to happen that ... + +GAEV. Be quiet, Fiers. + +FIERS. And then we'd send the dried cherries off in carts to Moscow +and Kharkov. And money! And the dried cherries were soft, juicy, +sweet, and nicely scented. ... They knew the way. ... + +LUBOV. What was the way? + +FIERS. They've forgotten. Nobody remembers. + +PISCHIN. [To LUBOV ANDREYEVNA] What about Paris? Eh? Did you eat +frogs? + +LUBOV. I ate crocodiles. + +PISCHIN. To think of that, now. + +LOPAKHIN. Up to now in the villages there were only the gentry and +the labourers, and now the people who live in villas have arrived. +All towns now, even small ones, are surrounded by villas. And it's +safe to say that in twenty years' time the villa resident will be +all over the place. At present he sits on his balcony and drinks +tea, but it may well come to pass that he'll begin to cultivate his +patch of land, and then your cherry orchard will be happy, rich, +splendid. ... + +GAEV. [Angry] What rot! + +[Enter VARYA and YASHA.] + +VARYA. There are two telegrams for you, little mother. [Picks out a +key and noisily unlocks an antique cupboard] Here they are. + +LUBOV. They're from Paris. ... [Tears them up without reading them] +I've done with Paris. + +GAEV. And do you know, Luba, how old this case is? A week ago I +took out the bottom drawer; I looked and saw figures burnt out in +it. That case was made exactly a hundred years ago. What do you +think of that? What? We could celebrate its jubilee. It hasn't a +soul of its own, but still, say what you will, it's a fine +bookcase. + +PISCHIN. [Astonished] A hundred years. ... Think of that! + +GAEV. Yes ... it's a real thing. [Handling it] My dear and honoured +case! I congratulate you on your existence, which has already for +more than a hundred years been directed towards the bright ideals +of good and justice; your silent call to productive labour has not +grown less in the hundred years [Weeping] during which you have +upheld virtue and faith in a better future to the generations of +our race, educating us up to ideals of goodness and to the +knowledge of a common consciousness. [Pause.] + +LOPAKHIN. Yes. ... + +LUBOV. You're just the same as ever, Leon. + +GAEV. [A little confused] Off the white on the right, into the +corner pocket. Red ball goes into the middle pocket! + +LOPAKHIN. [Looks at his watch] It's time I went. + +YASHA. [Giving LUBOV ANDREYEVNA her medicine] Will you take your +pills now? + +PISCHIN. You oughtn't to take medicines, dear madam; they do you +neither harm nor good. ... Give them here, dear madam. [Takes the +pills, turns them out into the palm of his hand, blows on them, +puts them into his mouth, and drinks some kvass] There! + +LUBOV. [Frightened] You're off your head! + +PISCHIN. I've taken all the pills. + +LOPAKHIN. Gormandizer! [All laugh.] + +FIERS. They were here in Easter week and ate half a pailful of +cucumbers. ... [Mumbles.] + +LUBOV. What's he driving at? + +VARYA. He's been mumbling away for three years. We're used to that. + +YASHA. Senile decay. + +[CHARLOTTA IVANOVNA crosses the stage, dressed in white: she is +very thin and tightly laced; has a lorgnette at her waist.] + +LOPAKHIN. Excuse me, Charlotta Ivanovna, I haven't said "How do you +do" to you yet. [Tries to kiss her hand.] + +CHARLOTTA. [Takes her hand away] If you let people kiss your hand, +then they'll want your elbow, then your shoulder, and then ... + +LOPAKHIN. My luck's out to-day! [All laugh] Show us a trick, +Charlotta Ivanovna! + +LUBOV ANDREYEVNA. Charlotta, do us a trick. + +CHARLOTTA. It's not necessary. I want to go to bed. [Exit.] + +LOPAKHIN. We shall see each other in three weeks. [Kisses LUBOV +ANDREYEVNA'S hand] Now, good-bye. It's time to go. [To GAEV] See +you again. [Kisses PISCHIN] Au revoir. [Gives his hand to VARYA, +then to FIERS and to YASHA] I don't want to go away. [To LUBOV +ANDREYEVNA]. If you think about the villas and make up your mind, +then just let me know, and I'll raise a loan of 50,000 roubles at +once. Think about it seriously. + +VARYA. [Angrily] Do go, now! + +LOPAKHIN. I'm going, I'm going. ... [Exit.] + +GAEV. Snob. Still, I beg pardon. ... Varya's going to marry him, +he's Varya's young man. + +VARYA. Don't talk too much, uncle. + +LUBOV. Why not, Varya? I should be very glad. He's a good man. + +PISCHIN. To speak the honest truth ... he's a worthy man. ... And +my Dashenka ... also says that ... she says lots of things. +[Snores, but wakes up again at once] But still, dear madam, if you +could lend me ... 240 roubles ... to pay the interest on my +mortgage to-morrow ... + +VARYA. [Frightened] We haven't got it, we haven't got it! + +LUBOV. It's quite true. I've nothing at all. + +PISCHIN. I'll find it all right [Laughs] I never lose hope. I used +to think, "Everything's lost now. I'm a dead man," when, lo and +behold, a railway was built over my land ... and they paid me for +it. And something else will happen to-day or to-morrow. Dashenka +may win 20,000 roubles ... she's got a lottery ticket. + +LUBOV. The coffee's all gone, we can go to bed. + +FIERS. [Brushing GAEV'S trousers; in an insistent tone] You've put +on the wrong trousers again. What am I to do with you? + +VARYA. [Quietly] Anya's asleep. [Opens window quietly] The sun has +risen already; it isn't cold. Look, little mother: what lovely +trees! And the air! The starlings are singing! + +GAEV. [Opens the other window] The whole garden's white. You +haven't forgotten, Luba? There's that long avenue going straight, +straight, like a stretched strap; it shines on moonlight nights. Do +you remember? You haven't forgotten? + +LUBOV. [Looks out into the garden] Oh, my childhood, days of my +innocence! In this nursery I used to sleep; I used to look out from +here into the orchard. Happiness used to wake with me every +morning, and then it was just as it is now; nothing has changed. +[Laughs from joy] It's all, all white! Oh, my orchard! After the +dark autumns and the cold winters, you're young again, full of +happiness, the angels of heaven haven't left you. ... If only I +could take my heavy burden off my breast and shoulders, if I could +forget my past! + +GAEV. Yes, and they'll sell this orchard to pay off debts. How +strange it seems! + +LUBOV. Look, there's my dead mother going in the orchard ... +dressed in white! [Laughs from joy] That's she. + +GAEV. Where? + +VARYA. God bless you, little mother. + +LUBOV. There's nobody there; I thought I saw somebody. On the +right, at the turning by the summer-house, a white little tree bent +down, looking just like a woman. [Enter TROFIMOV in a worn student +uniform and spectacles] What a marvellous garden! White masses of +flowers, the blue sky. ... + +TROFIMOV. Lubov Andreyevna! [She looks round at him] I only want to +show myself, and I'll go away. [Kisses her hand warmly] I was told +to wait till the morning, but I didn't have the patience. + +[LUBOV ANDREYEVNA looks surprised.] + +VARYA. [Crying] It's Peter Trofimov. + +TROFIMOV. Peter Trofimov, once the tutor of your Grisha. ... Have I +changed so much? + +[LUBOV ANDREYEVNA embraces him and cries softly.] + +GAEV. [Confused] That's enough, that's enough, Luba. + +VARYA. [Weeps] But I told you, Peter, to wait till to-morrow. + +LUBOV. My Grisha ... my boy ... Grisha ... my son. + +VARYA. What are we to do, little mother? It's the will of God. + +TROFIMOV. [Softly, through his tears] It's all right, it's all +right. + +LUBOV. [Still weeping] My boy's dead; he was drowned. Why? Why, my +friend? [Softly] Anya's asleep in there. I am speaking so loudly, +making such a noise. ... Well, Peter? What's made you look so bad? +Why have you grown so old? + +TROFIMOV. In the train an old woman called me a decayed gentleman. + +LUBOV. You were quite a boy then, a nice little student, and now +your hair is not at all thick and you wear spectacles. Are you +really still a student? [Goes to the door.] + +TROFIMOV. I suppose I shall always be a student. + +LUBOV. [Kisses her brother, then VARYA] Well, let's go to bed. ... +And you've grown older, Leonid. + +PISCHIN. [Follows her] Yes, we've got to go to bed. ... Oh, my +gout! I'll stay the night here. If only, Lubov Andreyevna, my dear, +you could get me 240 roubles to-morrow morning-- + +GAEV. Still the same story. + +PISCHIN. Two hundred and forty roubles ... to pay the interest on +the mortgage. + +LUBOV. I haven't any money, dear man. + +PISCHIN. I'll give it back ... it's a small sum. ... + +LUBOV. Well, then, Leonid will give it to you. ... Let him have it, +Leonid. + +GAEV. By all means; hold out your hand. + +LUBOV. Why not? He wants it; he'll give it back. + +[LUBOV ANDREYEVNA, TROFIMOV, PISCHIN, and FIERS go out. GAEV, +VARYA, and YASHA remain.] + +GAEV. My sister hasn't lost the habit of throwing money about. [To +YASHA] Stand off, do; you smell of poultry. + +YASHA. [Grins] You are just the same as ever, Leonid Andreyevitch. + +GAEV. Really? [To VARYA] What's he saying? + +VARYA. [To YASHA] Your mother's come from the village; she's been +sitting in the servants' room since yesterday, and wants to see +you. ... + +YASHA. Bless the woman! + +VARYA. Shameless man. + +YASHA. A lot of use there is in her coming. She might have come +tomorrow just as well. [Exit.] + +VARYA. Mother hasn't altered a scrap, she's just as she always was. +She'd give away everything, if the idea only entered her head. + +GAEV. Yes. ... [Pause] If there's any illness for which people +offer many remedies, you may be sure that particular illness is +incurable, I think. I work my brains to their hardest. I've several +remedies, very many, and that really means I've none at all. It +would be nice to inherit a fortune from somebody, it would be nice +to marry our Anya to a rich man, it would be nice to go to Yaroslav +and try my luck with my aunt the Countess. My aunt is very, very +rich. + +VARYA. [Weeps] If only God helped us. + +GAEV. Don't cry. My aunt's very rich, but she doesn't like us. My +sister, in the first place, married an advocate, not a noble. ... +[ANYA appears in the doorway] She not only married a man who was +not a noble, but she behaved herself in a way which cannot be +described as proper. She's nice and kind and charming, and I'm very +fond of her, but say what you will in her favour and you still have +to admit that she's wicked; you can feel it in her slightest +movements. + +VARYA. [Whispers] Anya's in the doorway. + +GAEV. Really? [Pause] It's curious, something's got into my right +eye ... I can't see properly out of it. And on Thursday, when I was +at the District Court ... + +[Enter ANYA.] + +VARYA. Why aren't you in bed, Anya? + +ANYA. Can't sleep. It's no good. + +GAEV. My darling! [Kisses ANYA'S face and hands] My child. ... +[Crying] You're not my niece, you're my angel, you're my all. ... +Believe in me, believe ... + +ANYA. I do believe in you, uncle. Everybody loves you and respects +you ... but, uncle dear, you ought to say nothing, no more than +that. What were you saying just now about my mother, your own +sister? Why did you say those things? + +GAEV. Yes, yes. [Covers his face with her hand] Yes, really, it was +awful. Save me, my God! And only just now I made a speech before a +bookcase ... it's so silly! And only when I'd finished I knew how +silly it was. + +VARYA. Yes, uncle dear, you really ought to say less. Keep quiet, +that's all. + +ANYA. You'd be so much happier in yourself if you only kept quiet. + +GAEV. All right, I'll be quiet. [Kisses their hands] I'll be quiet. +But let's talk business. On Thursday I was in the District Court, +and a lot of us met there together, and we began to talk of this, +that, and the other, and now I think I can arrange a loan to pay +the interest into the bank. + +VARYA. If only God would help us! + +GAEV. I'll go on Tuesday. I'll talk with them about it again. [To +VARYA] Don't howl. [To ANYA] Your mother will have a talk to +Lopakhin; he, of course, won't refuse ... And when you've rested +you'll go to Yaroslav to the Countess, your grandmother. So you +see, we'll have three irons in the fire, and we'll be safe. We'll +pay up the interest. I'm certain. [Puts some sugar-candy into his +mouth] I swear on my honour, on anything you will, that the estate +will not be sold! [Excitedly] I swear on my happiness! Here's my +hand. You may call me a dishonourable wretch if I let it go to +auction! I swear by all I am! + +ANYA. [She is calm again and happy] How good and clever you are, +uncle. [Embraces him] I'm happy now! I'm happy! All's well! + +[Enter FIERS.] + +FIERS. [Reproachfully] Leonid Andreyevitch, don't you fear God? +When are you going to bed? + +GAEV. Soon, soon. You go away, Fiers. I'll undress myself. Well, +children, bye-bye ...! I'll give you the details to-morrow, but +let's go to bed now. [Kisses ANYA and VARYA] I'm a man of the +eighties. ... People don't praise those years much, but I can still +say that I've suffered for my beliefs. The peasants don't love me +for nothing, I assure you. We've got to learn to know the peasants! +We ought to learn how. ... + +ANYA. You're doing it again, uncle! + +VARYA. Be quiet, uncle! + +FIERS. [Angrily] Leonid Andreyevitch! + +GAEV. I'm coming, I'm coming. ... Go to bed now. Off two cushions +into the middle! I turn over a new leaf. ... [Exit. FIERS goes out +after him.] + +ANYA. I'm quieter now. I don't want to go to Yaroslav, I don't like +grandmother; but I'm calm now; thanks to uncle. [Sits down.] + +VARYA. It's time to go to sleep. I'll go. There's been an +unpleasantness here while you were away. In the old servants' part +of the house, as you know, only the old people live--little old +Efim and Polya and Evstigney, and Karp as well. They started +letting some tramps or other spend the night there--I said nothing. +Then I heard that they were saying that I had ordered them to be +fed on peas and nothing else; from meanness, you see. ... And it +was all Evstigney's doing. ... Very well, I thought, if that's what +the matter is, just you wait. So I call Evstigney. ... [Yawns] He +comes. "What's this," I say, "Evstigney, you old fool." ... [Looks +at ANYA] Anya dear! [Pause] She's dropped off. ... [Takes ANYA'S +arm] Let's go to bye-bye. ... Come along! ... [Leads her] My +darling's gone to sleep! Come on. ... [They go. In the distance, +the other side of the orchard, a shepherd plays his pipe. TROFIMOV +crosses the stage and stops on seeing VARYA and ANYA] Sh! She's +asleep, asleep. Come on, dear. + +ANYA. [Quietly, half-asleep] I'm so tired ... all the bells ... +uncle, dear! Mother and uncle! + +VARYA. Come on, dear, come on! [They go into ANYA'S room.] + +TROFIMOV. [Moved] My sun! My spring! + +Curtain. + + +ACT TWO + + +[In a field. An old, crooked shrine, which has been long abandoned; +near it a well and large stones, which apparently are old +tombstones, and an old garden seat. The road is seen to GAEV'S +estate. On one side rise dark poplars, behind them begins the +cherry orchard. In the distance is a row of telegraph poles, and +far, far away on the horizon are the indistinct signs of a large +town, which can only be seen on the finest and clearest days. It is +close on sunset. CHARLOTTA, YASHA, and DUNYASHA are sitting on the +seat; EPIKHODOV stands by and plays on a guitar; all seem +thoughtful. CHARLOTTA wears a man's old peaked cap; she has unslung +a rifle from her shoulders and is putting to rights the buckle on +the strap.] + +CHARLOTTA. [Thoughtfully] I haven't a real passport. I don't know +how old I am, and I think I'm young. When I was a little girl my +father and mother used to go round fairs and give very good +performances and I used to do the _salto mortale_ and various +little things. And when papa and mamma died a German lady took me +to her and began to teach me. I liked it. I grew up and became a +governess. And where I came from and who I am, I don't know. ... +Who my parents were--perhaps they weren't married--I don't know. +[Takes a cucumber out of her pocket and eats] I don't know +anything. [Pause] I do want to talk, but I haven't anybody to talk +to ... I haven't anybody at all. + +EPIKHODOV. [Plays on the guitar and sings] + "What is this noisy earth to me, + What matter friends and foes?" + I do like playing on the mandoline! + +DUNYASHA. That's a guitar, not a mandoline. +[Looks at herself in a little mirror and powders herself.] + +EPIKHODOV. For the enamoured madman, this is a mandoline. [Sings] + "Oh that the heart was warmed, + By all the flames of love returned!" + +[YASHA sings too.] + +CHARLOTTA. These people sing terribly. ... Foo! Like jackals. + +DUNYASHA. [To YASHA] Still, it must be nice to live abroad. + +YASHA. Yes, certainly. I cannot differ from you there. [Yawns and +lights a cigar.] + +EPIKHODOV. That is perfectly natural. Abroad everything is in full +complexity. + +YASHA. That goes without saying. + +EPIKHODOV. I'm an educated man, I read various remarkable books, +but I cannot understand the direction I myself want to go--whether +to live or to shoot myself, as it were. So, in case, I always carry +a revolver about with me. Here it is. [Shows a revolver.] + +CHARLOTTA. I've done. Now I'll go. [Slings the rifle] You, +Epikhodov, are a very clever man and very terrible; women must be +madly in love with you. Brrr! [Going] These wise ones are all so +stupid. I've nobody to talk to. I'm always alone, alone; I've +nobody at all ... and I don't know who I am or why I live. [Exit +slowly.] + +EPIKHODOV. As a matter of fact, independently of everything else, I +must express my feeling, among other things, that fate has been as +pitiless in her dealings with me as a storm is to a small ship. +Suppose, let us grant, I am wrong; then why did I wake up this +morning, to give an example, and behold an enormous spider on my +chest, like that. [Shows with both hands] And if I do drink some +kvass, why is it that there is bound to be something of the most +indelicate nature in it, such as a beetle? [Pause] Have you read +Buckle? [Pause] I should like to trouble you, Avdotya Fedorovna, +for two words. + +DUNYASHA. Say on. + +EPIKHODOV. I should prefer to be alone with you. [Sighs.] + +DUNYASHA. [Shy] Very well, only first bring me my little cloak. ... +It's by the cupboard. It's a little damp here. + +EPIKHODOV. Very well ... I'll bring it. ... Now I know what to do +with my revolver. [Takes guitar and exits, strumming.] + +YASHA. Two-and-twenty troubles! A silly man, between you and me and +the gatepost. [Yawns.] + +DUNYASHA. I hope to goodness he won't shoot himself. [Pause] I'm so +nervous, I'm worried. I went into service when I was quite a little +girl, and now I'm not used to common life, and my hands are white, +white as a lady's. I'm so tender and so delicate now; respectable +and afraid of everything. ... I'm so frightened. And I don't know +what will happen to my nerves if you deceive me, Yasha. + +YASHA. [Kisses her] Little cucumber! Of course, every girl must +respect herself; there's nothing I dislike more than a badly +behaved girl. + +DUNYASHA. I'm awfully in love with you; you're educated, you can +talk about everything. [Pause.] + +YASHA. [Yawns] Yes. I think this: if a girl loves anybody, then +that means she's immoral. [Pause] It's nice to smoke a cigar out in +the open air. ... [Listens] Somebody's coming. It's the mistress, +and people with her. [DUNYASHA embraces him suddenly] Go to the +house, as if you'd been bathing in the river; go by this path, or +they'll meet you and will think I've been meeting you. I can't +stand that sort of thing. + +DUNYASHA. [Coughs quietly] My head's aching because of your cigar. + +[Exit. YASHA remains, sitting by the shrine. Enter LUBOV +ANDREYEVNA, GAEV, and LOPAKHIN.] + +LOPAKHIN. You must make up your mind definitely--there's no time to +waste. The question is perfectly plain. Are you willing to let the +land for villas or no? Just one word, yes or no? Just one word! + +LUBOV. Who's smoking horrible cigars here? [Sits.] + +GAEV. They built that railway; that's made this place very handy. +[Sits] Went to town and had lunch ... red in the middle! I'd like +to go in now and have just one game. + +LUBOV. You'll have time. + +LOPAKHIN. Just one word! [Imploringly] Give me an answer! + +GAEV. [Yawns] Really! + +LUBOV. [Looks in her purse] I had a lot of money yesterday, but +there's very little to-day. My poor Varya feeds everybody on milk +soup to save money, in the kitchen the old people only get peas, +and I spend recklessly. [Drops the purse, scattering gold coins] +There, they are all over the place. + +YASHA. Permit me to pick them up. [Collects the coins.] + +LUBOV. Please do, Yasha. And why did I go and have lunch there? ... +A horrid restaurant with band and tablecloths smelling of soap. ... +Why do you drink so much, Leon? Why do you eat so much? Why do you +talk so much? You talked again too much to-day in the restaurant, +and it wasn't at all to the point--about the seventies and about +decadents. And to whom? Talking to the waiters about decadents! + +LOPAKHIN. Yes. + +GAEV. [Waves his hand] I can't be cured, that's obvious. ... +[Irritably to YASHA] What's the matter? Why do you keep twisting +about in front of me? + +YASHA. [Laughs] I can't listen to your voice without laughing. + +GAEV. [To his sister] Either he or I ... + +LUBOV. Go away, Yasha; get out of this. ... + +YASHA. [Gives purse to LUBOV ANDREYEVNA] I'll go at once. [Hardly +able to keep from laughing] This minute. ... [Exit.] + +LOPAKHIN. That rich man Deriganov is preparing to buy your estate. +They say he'll come to the sale himself. + +LUBOV. Where did you hear that? + +LOPAKHIN. They say so in town. + +GAEV. Our Yaroslav aunt has promised to send something, but I don't +know when or how much. + +LOPAKHIN. How much will she send? A hundred thousand roubles? Or +two, perhaps? + +LUBOV. I'd be glad of ten or fifteen thousand. + +LOPAKHIN. You must excuse my saying so, but I've never met such +frivolous people as you before, or anybody so unbusinesslike and +peculiar. Here I am telling you in plain language that your estate +will be sold, and you don't seem to understand. + +LUBOV. What are we to do? Tell us, what? + +LOPAKHIN. I tell you every day. I say the same thing every day. +Both the cherry orchard and the land must be leased off for villas +and at once, immediately--the auction is staring you in the face: +Understand! Once you do definitely make up your minds to the +villas, then you'll have as much money as you want and you'll be +saved. + +LUBOV. Villas and villa residents--it's so vulgar, excuse me. + +GAEV. I entirely agree with you. + +LOPAKHIN. I must cry or yell or faint. I can't stand it! You're too +much for me! [To GAEV] You old woman! + +GAEV. Really! + +LOPAKHIN. Old woman! [Going out.] + +LUBOV. [Frightened] No, don't go away, do stop; be a dear. Please. +Perhaps we'll find some way out! + +LOPAKHIN. What's the good of trying to think! + +LUBOV. Please don't go away. It's nicer when you're here. ... +[Pause] I keep on waiting for something to happen, as if the house +is going to collapse over our heads. + +GAEV. [Thinking deeply] Double in the corner ... across the middle. ... + +LUBOV. We have been too sinful. ... + +LOPAKHIN. What sins have you committed? + +GAEV. [Puts candy into his mouth] They say that I've eaten all my +substance in sugar-candies. [Laughs.] + +LUBOV. Oh, my sins. ... I've always scattered money about without +holding myself in, like a madwoman, and I married a man who made +nothing but debts. My husband died of champagne--he drank terribly-- +and to my misfortune, I fell in love with another man and went off +with him, and just at that time--it was my first punishment, a blow +that hit me right on the head--here, in the river ... my boy was +drowned, and I went away, quite away, never to return, never to see +this river again ...I shut my eyes and ran without thinking, but +_he_ ran after me ... without pity, without respect. I bought a +villa near Mentone because _he_ fell ill there, and for three years +I knew no rest either by day or night; the sick man wore me out, +and my soul dried up. And last year, when they had sold the villa +to pay my debts, I went away to Paris, and there he robbed me of +all I had and threw me over and went off with another woman. I +tried to poison myself. ... It was so silly, so shameful. ... And +suddenly I longed to be back in Russia, my own land, with my little +girl. ... [Wipes her tears] Lord, Lord be merciful to me, forgive +me my sins! Punish me no more! [Takes a telegram out of her pocket] +I had this to-day from Paris. ... He begs my forgiveness, he +implores me to return. ... [Tears it up] Don't I hear music? +[Listens.] + +GAEV. That is our celebrated Jewish band. You remember--four +violins, a flute, and a double-bass. + +LUBOV So it still exists? It would be nice if they came along some +evening. + +LOPAKHIN. [Listens] I can't hear. ... [Sings quietly] "For money +will the Germans make a Frenchman of a Russian." [Laughs] I saw +such an awfully funny thing at the theatre last night. + +LUBOV. I'm quite sure there wasn't anything at all funny. You +oughtn't to go and see plays, you ought to go and look at yourself. +What a grey life you lead, what a lot you talk unnecessarily. + +LOPAKHIN. It's true. To speak the straight truth, we live a silly +life. [Pause] My father was a peasant, an idiot, he understood +nothing, he didn't teach me, he was always drunk, and always used a +stick on me. In point of fact, I'm a fool and an idiot too. I've +never learned anything, my handwriting is bad, I write so that I'm +quite ashamed before people, like a pig! + +LUBOV. You ought to get married, my friend. + +LOPAKHIN. Yes ... that's true. + +LUBOV. Why not to our Varya? She's a nice girl. + +LOPAKHIN. Yes. + +LUBOV. She's quite homely in her ways, works all day, and, what +matters most, she's in love with you. And you've liked her for a +long time. + +LOPAKHIN. Well? I don't mind ... she's a nice girl. [Pause.] + +GAEV. I'm offered a place in a bank. Six thousand roubles a year. ... +Did you hear? + +LUBOV. What's the matter with you! Stay where you are. ... + +[Enter FIERS with an overcoat.] + +FIERS. [To GAEV] Please, sir, put this on, it's damp. + +GAEV. [Putting it on] You're a nuisance, old man. + +FIERS It's all very well. ... You went away this morning without +telling me. [Examining GAEV.] + +LUBOV. How old you've grown, Fiers! + +FIERS. I beg your pardon? + +LOPAKHIN. She says you've grown very old! + +FIERS. I've been alive a long time. They were already getting ready +to marry me before your father was born. ... [Laughs] And when the +Emancipation came I was already first valet. Only I didn't agree +with the Emancipation and remained with my people. ... [Pause] I +remember everybody was happy, but they didn't know why. + +LOPAKHIN. It was very good for them in the old days. At any rate, +they used to beat them. + +FIERS. [Not hearing] Rather. The peasants kept their distance from +the masters and the masters kept their distance from the peasants, +but now everything's all anyhow and you can't understand anything. + +GAEV. Be quiet, Fiers. I've got to go to town tomorrow. I've been +promised an introduction to a General who may lend me money on a +bill. + +LOPAKHIN. Nothing will come of it. And you won't pay your interest, +don't you worry. + +LUBOV. He's talking rubbish. There's no General at all. + +[Enter TROFIMOV, ANYA, and VARYA.] + +GAEV. Here they are. + +ANYA. Mother's sitting down here. + +LUBOV. [Tenderly] Come, come, my dears. ... [Embracing ANYA and +VARYA] If you two only knew how much I love you. Sit down next to +me, like that. [All sit down.] + +LOPAKHIN. Our eternal student is always with the ladies. + +TROFIMOV. That's not your business. + +LOPAKHIN. He'll soon be fifty, and he's still a student. + +TROFIMOV. Leave off your silly jokes! + +LOPAKHIN. Getting angry, eh, silly? + +TROFIMOV. Shut up, can't you. + +LOPAKHIN. [Laughs] I wonder what you think of me? + +TROFIMOV. I think, Ermolai Alexeyevitch, that you're a rich man, +and you'll soon be a millionaire. Just as the wild beast which eats +everything it finds is needed for changes to take place in matter, +so you are needed too. + +[All laugh.] + +VARYA. Better tell us something about the planets, Peter. + +LUBOV ANDREYEVNA. No, let's go on with yesterday's talk! + +TROFIMOV. About what? + +GAEV. About the proud man. + +TROFIMOV. Yesterday we talked for a long time but we didn't come to +anything in the end. There's something mystical about the proud +man, in your sense. Perhaps you are right from your point of view, +but if you take the matter simply, without complicating it, then +what pride can there be, what sense can there be in it, if a man is +imperfectly made, physiologically speaking, if in the vast majority +of cases he is coarse and stupid and deeply unhappy? We must stop +admiring one another. We must work, nothing more. + +GAEV. You'll die, all the same. + +TROFIMOV. Who knows? And what does it mean--you'll die? Perhaps a +man has a hundred senses, and when he dies only the five known to +us are destroyed and the remaining ninety-five are left alive. + +LUBOV. How clever of you, Peter! + +LOPAKHIN. [Ironically] Oh, awfully! + +TROFIMOV. The human race progresses, perfecting its powers. +Everything that is unattainable now will some day be near at hand +and comprehensible, but we must work, we must help with all our +strength those who seek to know what fate will bring. Meanwhile in +Russia only a very few of us work. The vast majority of those +intellectuals whom I know seek for nothing, do nothing, and are at +present incapable of hard work. They call themselves intellectuals, +but they use "thou" and "thee" to their servants, they treat the +peasants like animals, they learn badly, they read nothing +seriously, they do absolutely nothing, about science they only +talk, about art they understand little. They are all serious, they +all have severe faces, they all talk about important things. They +philosophize, and at the same time, the vast majority of us, +ninety-nine out of a hundred, live like savages, fighting and +cursing at the slightest opportunity, eating filthily, sleeping in +the dirt, in stuffiness, with fleas, stinks, smells, moral filth, +and so on. . . And it's obvious that all our nice talk is only +carried on to distract ourselves and others. Tell me, where are +those creches we hear so much of? and where are those reading-rooms? +People only write novels about them; they don't really exist. Only +dirt, vulgarity, and Asiatic plagues really exist. ... I'm afraid, +and I don't at all like serious faces; I don't like serious +conversations. Let's be quiet sooner. + +LOPAKHIN. You know, I get up at five every morning, I work from +morning till evening, I am always dealing with money--my own and +other people's--and I see what people are like. You've only got to +begin to do anything to find out how few honest, honourable people +there are. Sometimes, when I can't sleep, I think: "Oh Lord, you've +given us huge forests, infinite fields, and endless horizons, and +we, living here, ought really to be giants." + +LUBOV. You want giants, do you? ... They're only good in stories, +and even there they frighten one. [EPIKHODOV enters at the back of +the stage playing his guitar. Thoughtfully:] Epikhodov's there. + +ANYA. [Thoughtfully] Epikhodov's there. + +GAEV. The sun's set, ladies and gentlemen. + +TROFIMOV. Yes. + +GAEV [Not loudly, as if declaiming] O Nature, thou art wonderful, +thou shinest with eternal radiance! Oh, beautiful and indifferent +one, thou whom we call mother, thou containest in thyself existence +and death, thou livest and destroyest. ... + +VARYA. [Entreatingly] Uncle, dear! + +ANYA. Uncle, you're doing it again! + +TROFIMOV. You'd better double the red into the middle. + +GAEV. I'll be quiet, I'll be quiet. + +[They all sit thoughtfully. It is quiet. Only the mumbling of FIERS +is heard. Suddenly a distant sound is heard as if from the sky, the +sound of a breaking string, which dies away sadly.] + +LUBOV. What's that? + +LOPAKHIN. I don't know. It may be a bucket fallen down a well +somewhere. But it's some way off. + +GAEV. Or perhaps it's some bird ... like a heron. + +TROFIMOV. Or an owl. + +LUBOV. [Shudders] It's unpleasant, somehow. [A pause.] + +FIERS. Before the misfortune the same thing happened. An owl +screamed and the samovar hummed without stopping. + +GAEV. Before what misfortune? + +FIERS. Before the Emancipation. [A pause.] + +LUBOV. You know, my friends, let's go in; it's evening now. [To +ANYA] You've tears in your eyes. ... What is it, little girl? +[Embraces her.] + +ANYA. It's nothing, mother. + +TROFIMOV. Some one's coming. + +[Enter a TRAMP in an old white peaked cap and overcoat. He is a +little drunk.] + +TRAMP. Excuse me, may I go this way straight through to the +station? + +GAEV. You may. Go along this path. + +TRAMP. I thank you from the bottom of my heart. [Hiccups] Lovely +weather. ... [Declaims] My brother, my suffering brother. ... Come +out on the Volga, you whose groans ... [To VARYA] Mademoiselle, +please give a hungry Russian thirty copecks. ... + +[VARYA screams, frightened.] + +LOPAKHIN. [Angrily] There's manners everybody's got to keep! + +LUBOV. [With a start] Take this ... here you are. ... [Feels in her +purse] There's no silver. ... It doesn't matter, here's gold. + +TRAMP. I am deeply grateful to you! [Exit. Laughter.] + +VARYA. [Frightened] I'm going, I'm going. ... Oh, little mother, at +home there's nothing for the servants to eat, and you gave him +gold. + +LUBOV. What is to be done with such a fool as I am! At home I'll +give you everything I've got. Ermolai Alexeyevitch, lend me some +more! ... + +LOPAKHIN. Very well. + +LUBOV. Let's go, it's time. And Varya, we've settled your affair; I +congratulate you. + +VARYA. [Crying] You shouldn't joke about this, mother. + +LOPAKHIN. Oh, feel me, get thee to a nunnery. + +GAEV. My hands are all trembling; I haven't played billiards for a +long time. + +LOPAKHIN. Oh, feel me, nymph, remember me in thine orisons. + +LUBOV. Come along; it'll soon be supper-time. + +VARYA. He did frighten me. My heart is beating hard. + +LOPAKHIN. Let me remind you, ladies and gentlemen, on August 22 the +cherry orchard will be sold. Think of that! ... Think of that! ... + +[All go out except TROFIMOV and ANYA.] + +ANYA. [Laughs] Thanks to the tramp who frightened Barbara, we're +alone now. + +TROFIMOV. Varya's afraid we may fall in love with each other and +won't get away from us for days on end. Her narrow mind won't allow +her to understand that we are above love. To escape all the petty +and deceptive things which prevent our being happy and free, that +is the aim and meaning of our lives. Forward! We go irresistibly on +to that bright star which burns there, in the distance! Don't lag +behind, friends! + +ANYA. [Clapping her hands] How beautifully you talk! [Pause] It is +glorious here to-day! + +TROFIMOV. Yes, the weather is wonderful. + +ANYA. What have you done to me, Peter? I don't love the cherry +orchard as I used to. I loved it so tenderly, I thought there was +no better place in the world than our orchard. + +TROFIMOV. All Russia is our orchard. The land is great and +beautiful, there are many marvellous places in it. [Pause] Think, +Anya, your grandfather, your great-grandfather, and all your +ancestors were serf-owners, they owned living souls; and now, +doesn't something human look at you from every cherry in the +orchard, every leaf and every stalk? Don't you hear voices ...? Oh, +it's awful, your orchard is terrible; and when in the evening or at +night you walk through the orchard, then the old bark on the trees +sheds a dim light and the old cherry-trees seem to be dreaming of +all that was a hundred, two hundred years ago, and are oppressed by +their heavy visions. Still, at any rate, we've left those two +hundred years behind us. So far we've gained nothing at all--we +don't yet know what the past is to be to us--we only philosophize, +we complain that we are dull, or we drink vodka. For it's so clear +that in order to begin to live in the present we must first redeem +the past, and that can only be done by suffering, by strenuous, +uninterrupted labour. Understand that, Anya. + +ANYA. The house in which we live has long ceased to be our house; I +shall go away. I give you my word. + +TROFIMOV. If you have the housekeeping keys, throw them down the well +and go away. Be as free as the wind. + +ANYA. [Enthusiastically] How nicely you said that! + +TROFIMOV. Believe me, Anya, believe me! I'm not thirty yet, I'm +young, I'm still a student, but I have undergone a great deal! I'm +as hungry as the winter, I'm ill, I'm shaken. I'm as poor as a +beggar, and where haven't I been--fate has tossed me everywhere! +But my soul is always my own; every minute of the day and the night +it is filled with unspeakable presentiments. I know that happiness +is coming, Anya, I see it already. ... + +ANYA. [Thoughtful] The moon is rising. + +[EPIKHODOV is heard playing the same sad song on his guitar. The +moon rises. Somewhere by the poplars VARYA is looking for ANYA and +calling, "Anya, where are you?"] + +TROFIMOV. Yes, the moon has risen. [Pause] There is happiness, +there it comes; it comes nearer and nearer; I hear its steps +already. And if we do not see it we shall not know it, but what +does that matter? Others will see it! + +THE VOICE OF VARYA. Anya! Where are you? + +TROFIMOV. That's Varya again! [Angry] Disgraceful! + +ANYA. Never mind. Let's go to the river. It's nice there. + +TROFIMOV Let's go. [They go out.] + +THE VOICE OF VARYA. Anya! Anya! + +Curtain. + + +ACT THREE + + +[A reception-room cut off from a drawing-room by an arch. +Chandelier lighted. A Jewish band, the one mentioned in Act II, is +heard playing in another room. Evening. In the drawing-room the +grand rond is being danced. Voice of SIMEONOV PISCHIN "Promenade a +une paire!" Dancers come into the reception-room; the first pair +are PISCHIN and CHARLOTTA IVANOVNA; the second, TROFIMOV and LUBOV +ANDREYEVNA; the third, ANYA and the POST OFFICE CLERK; the fourth, +VARYA and the STATION-MASTER, and so on. VARYA is crying gently and +wipes away her tears as she dances. DUNYASHA is in the last pair. +They go off into the drawing-room, PISCHIN shouting, "Grand rond, +balancez:" and "Les cavaliers a genou et remerciez vos dames!" +FIERS, in a dress-coat, carries a tray with seltzer-water across. +Enter PISCHIN and TROFIMOV from the drawing-room.] + +PISCHIN. I'm full-blooded and have already had two strokes; it's +hard for me to dance, but, as they say, if you're in Rome, you must +do as Rome does. I've got the strength of a horse. My dead father, +who liked a joke, peace to his bones, used to say, talking of our +ancestors, that the ancient stock of the Simeonov-Pischins was +descended from that identical horse that Caligula made a senator. ... +[Sits] But the trouble is, I've no money! A hungry dog only +believes in meat. [Snores and wakes up again immediately] So I ... +only believe in money. ... + +TROFIMOV. Yes. There is something equine about your figure. + +PISCHIN. Well ... a horse is a fine animal ... you can sell a +horse. + +[Billiard playing can be heard in the next room. VARYA appears +under the arch.] + +TROFIMOV. [Teasing] Madame Lopakhin! Madame Lopakhin! + +VARYA. [Angry] Decayed gentleman! + +TROFIMOV. Yes, I am a decayed gentleman, and I'm proud of it! + +VARYA. [Bitterly] We've hired the musicians, but how are they to be +paid? [Exit.] + +TROFIMOV. [To PISCHIN] If the energy which you, in the course of +your life, have spent in looking for money to pay interest had been +used for something else, then, I believe, after all, you'd be able +to turn everything upside down. + +PISCHIN. Nietzsche ... a philosopher ... a very great, a most +celebrated man ... a man of enormous brain, says in his books that +you can forge bank-notes. + +TROFIMOV. And have you read Nietzsche? + +PISCHIN. Well ... Dashenka told me. Now I'm in such a position, I +wouldn't mind forging them ... I've got to pay 310 roubles the day +after to-morrow ... I've got 130 already. ... [Feels his pockets, +nervously] I've lost the money! The money's gone! [Crying] Where's +the money? [Joyfully] Here it is behind the lining ... I even began +to perspire. + +[Enter LUBOV ANDREYEVNA and CHARLOTTA IVANOVNA.] + +LUBOV. [Humming a Caucasian dance] Why is Leonid away so long? +What's he doing in town? [To DUNYASHA] Dunyasha, give the musicians +some tea. + +TROFIMOV. Business is off, I suppose. + +LUBOV. And the musicians needn't have come, and we needn't have got +up this ball. ... Well, never mind. ... [Sits and sings softly.] + +CHARLOTTA. [Gives a pack of cards to PISCHIN] Here's a pack of +cards, think of any one card you like. + +PISCHIN. I've thought of one. + +CHARLOTTA. Now shuffle. All right, now. Give them here, oh my dear +Mr. Pischin. _Ein, zwei, drei_! Now look and you'll find it in your +coat-tail pocket. + +PISCHIN. [Takes a card out of his coat-tail pocket] Eight of +spades, quite right! [Surprised] Think of that now! + +CHARLOTTA. [Holds the pack of cards on the palm of her hand. To +TROFIMOV] Now tell me quickly. What's the top card? + +TROFIMOV. Well, the queen of spades. + +CHARLOTTA. Right! [To PISCHIN] Well now? What card's on top? + +PISCHIN. Ace of hearts. + +CHARLOTTA. Right! [Claps her hands, the pack of cards vanishes] How +lovely the weather is to-day. [A mysterious woman's voice answers +her, as if from under the floor, "Oh yes, it's lovely weather, +madam."] You are so beautiful, you are my ideal. [Voice, "You, +madam, please me very much too."] + +STATION-MASTER. [Applauds] Madame ventriloquist, bravo! + +PISCHIN. [Surprised] Think of that, now! Delightful, Charlotte +Ivanovna ... I'm simply in love. ... + +CHARLOTTA. In love? [Shrugging her shoulders] Can you love? _Guter +Mensch aber schlechter Musikant_. + +TROFIMOV. [Slaps PISCHIN on the shoulder] Oh, you horse! + +CHARLOTTA. Attention please, here's another trick. [Takes a shawl +from a chair] Here's a very nice plaid shawl, I'm going to sell it. ... +[Shakes it] Won't anybody buy it? + +PISCHIN. [Astonished] Think of that now! + +CHARLOTTA. _Ein, zwei, drei_. + +[She quickly lifts up the shawl, which is hanging down. ANYA is +standing behind it; she bows and runs to her mother, hugs her and +runs back to the drawing-room amid general applause.] + +LUBOV. [Applauds] Bravo, bravo! + +CHARLOTTA. Once again! _Ein, zwei, drei_! + +[Lifts the shawl. VARYA stands behind it and bows.] + +PISCHIN. [Astonished] Think of that, now. + +CHARLOTTA. The end! + +[Throws the shawl at PISCHIN, curtseys and runs into the drawing-room.] + +PISCHIN. [Runs after her] Little wretch. ... What? Would you? [Exit.] + +LUBOV. Leonid hasn't come yet. I don't understand what he's doing +so long in town! Everything must be over by now. The estate must be +sold; or, if the sale never came off, then why does he stay so +long? + +VARYA. [Tries to soothe her] Uncle has bought it. I'm certain of +it. + +TROFIMOV. [Sarcastically] Oh, yes! + +VARYA. Grandmother sent him her authority for him to buy it in her +name and transfer the debt to her. She's doing it for Anya. And I'm +certain that God will help us and uncle will buy it. + +LUBOV. Grandmother sent fifteen thousand roubles from Yaroslav to +buy the property in her name--she won't trust us--and that wasn't +even enough to pay the interest. [Covers her face with her hands] +My fate will be settled to-day, my fate. ... + +TROFIMOV. [Teasing VARYA] Madame Lopakhin! + +VARYA. [Angry] Eternal student! He's already been expelled twice +from the university. + +LUBOV. Why are you getting angry, Varya? He's teasing you about +Lopakhin, well what of it? You can marry Lopakhin if you want to, +he's a good, interesting man. ... You needn't if you don't want +to; nobody wants to force you against your will, my darling. + +VARYA. I do look at the matter seriously, little mother, to be +quite frank. He's a good man, and I like him. + +LUBOV. Then marry him. I don't understand what you're waiting for. + +VARYA. I can't propose to him myself, little mother. People have +been talking about him to me for two years now, but he either says +nothing, or jokes about it. I understand. He's getting rich, he's +busy, he can't bother about me. If I had some money, even a little, +even only a hundred roubles, I'd throw up everything and go away. +I'd go into a convent. + +TROFIMOV. How nice! + +VARYA. [To TROFIMOV] A student ought to have sense! [Gently, in +tears] How ugly you are now, Peter, how old you've grown! [To LUBOV +ANDREYEVNA, no longer crying] But I can't go on without working, +little mother. I want to be doing something every minute. + +[Enter YASHA.] + +YASHA. [Nearly laughing] Epikhodov's broken a billiard cue! [Exit.] + +VARYA. Why is Epikhodov here? Who said he could play billiards? I +don't understand these people. [Exit.] + +LUBOV. Don't tease her, Peter, you see that she's quite unhappy +without that. + +TROFIMOV. She takes too much on herself, she keeps on interfering +in other people's business. The whole summer she's given no peace +to me or to Anya, she's afraid we'll have a romance all to +ourselves. What has it to do with her? As if I'd ever given her +grounds to believe I'd stoop to such vulgarity! We are above love. + +LUBOV. Then I suppose I must be beneath love. [In agitation] Why +isn't Leonid here? If I only knew whether the estate is sold or +not! The disaster seems to me so improbable that I don't know what +to think, I'm all at sea ... I may scream ... or do something +silly. Save me, Peter. Say something, say something. + +TROFIMOV. Isn't it all the same whether the estate is sold to-day +or isn't? It's been all up with it for a long time; there's no +turning back, the path's grown over. Be calm, dear, you shouldn't +deceive yourself, for once in your life at any rate you must look +the truth straight in the face. + +LUBOV. What truth? You see where truth is, and where untruth is, +but I seem to have lost my sight and see nothing. You boldly settle +all important questions, but tell me, dear, isn't it because you're +young, because you haven't had time to suffer till you settled a +single one of your questions? You boldly look forward, isn't it +because you cannot foresee or expect anything terrible, because so +far life has been hidden from your young eyes? You are bolder, more +honest, deeper than we are, but think only, be just a little +magnanimous, and have mercy on me. I was born here, my father and +mother lived here, my grandfather too, I love this house. I +couldn't understand my life without that cherry orchard, and if it +really must be sold, sell me with it! [Embraces TROFIMOV, kisses +his forehead]. My son was drowned here. ... [Weeps] Have pity on +me, good, kind man. + +TROFIMOV. You know I sympathize with all my soul. + +LUBOV. Yes, but it ought to be said differently, differently. ... +[Takes another handkerchief, a telegram falls on the floor] I'm so +sick at heart to-day, you can't imagine. Here it's so noisy, my +soul shakes at every sound. I shake all over, and I can't go away +by myself, I'm afraid of the silence. Don't judge me harshly, Peter ... +I loved you, as if you belonged to my family. I'd gladly let Anya +marry you, I swear it, only dear, you ought to work, finish your +studies. You don't do anything, only fate throws you about from +place to place, it's so odd. ... Isn't it true? Yes? And you ought +to do something to your beard to make it grow better [Laughs] You +are funny! + +TROFIMOV. [Picking up telegram] I don't want to be a Beau Brummel. + +LUBOV. This telegram's from Paris. I get one every day. Yesterday +and to-day. That wild man is ill again, he's bad again. ... He begs +for forgiveness, and implores me to come, and I really ought to go +to Paris to be near him. You look severe, Peter, but what can I do, +my dear, what can I do; he's ill, he's alone, unhappy, and who's to +look after him, who's to keep him away from his errors, to give him +his medicine punctually? And why should I conceal it and say +nothing about it; I love him, that's plain, I love him, I love him. ... +That love is a stone round my neck; I'm going with it to the +bottom, but I love that stone and can't live without it. [Squeezes +TROFIMOV'S hand] Don't think badly of me, Peter, don't say anything +to me, don't say ... + +TROFIMOV. [Weeping] For God's sake forgive my speaking candidly, +but that man has robbed you! + +LUBOV. No, no, no, you oughtn't to say that! [Stops her ears.] + +TROFIMOV. But he's a wretch, you alone don't know it! He's a petty +thief, a nobody. ... + +LUBOV. [Angry, but restrained] You're twenty-six or twenty-seven, +and still a schoolboy of the second class! + +TROFIMOV. Why not! + +LUBOV. You ought to be a man, at your age you ought to be able to +understand those who love. And you ought to be in love yourself, +you must fall in love! [Angry] Yes, yes! You aren't pure, you're +just a freak, a queer fellow, a funny growth ... + +TROFIMOV. [In horror] What is she saying! + +LUBOV. "I'm above love!" You're not above love, you're just what +our Fiers calls a bungler. Not to have a mistress at your age! + +TROFIMOV. [In horror] This is awful! What is she saying? [Goes +quickly up into the drawing-room, clutching his head] It's awful ... +I can't stand it, I'll go away. [Exit, but returns at once] All is +over between us! [Exit.] + +LUBOV. [Shouts after him] Peter, wait! Silly man, I was joking! +Peter! [Somebody is heard going out and falling downstairs noisily. +ANYA and VARYA scream; laughter is heard immediately] What's that? + +[ANYA comes running in, laughing.] + +ANYA. Peter's fallen downstairs! [Runs out again.] + +LUBOV. This Peter's a marvel. + +[The STATION-MASTER stands in the middle of the drawing-room and +recites "The Magdalen" by Tolstoy. He is listened to, but he has +only delivered a few lines when a waltz is heard from the front +room, and the recitation is stopped. Everybody dances. TROFIMOV, +ANYA, VARYA, and LUBOV ANDREYEVNA come in from the front room.] + +LUBOV. Well, Peter ... you pure soul ... I beg your pardon ... +let's dance. + +[She dances with PETER. ANYA and VARYA dance. FIERS enters and +stands his stick by a side door. YASHA has also come in and looks +on at the dance.] + +YASHA. Well, grandfather? + +FIERS. I'm not well. At our balls some time back, generals and +barons and admirals used to dance, and now we send for post-office +clerks and the Station-master, and even they come as a favour. I'm +very weak. The dead master, the grandfather, used to give everybody +sealing-wax when anything was wrong. I've taken sealing-wax every +day for twenty years, and more; perhaps that's why I still live. + +YASHA. I'm tired of you, grandfather. [Yawns] If you'd only hurry +up and kick the bucket. + +FIERS. Oh you ... bungler! [Mutters.] + +[TROFIMOV and LUBOV ANDREYEVNA dance in the reception-room, then +into the sitting-room.] + +LUBOV. _Merci_. I'll sit down. [Sits] I'm tired. + +[Enter ANYA.] + +ANYA. [Excited] Somebody in the kitchen was saying just now that +the cherry orchard was sold to-day. + +LUBOV. Sold to whom? + +ANYA. He didn't say to whom. He's gone now. [Dances out into the +reception-room with TROFIMOV.] + +YASHA. Some old man was chattering about it a long time ago. A +stranger! + +FIERS. And Leonid Andreyevitch isn't here yet, he hasn't come. He's +wearing a light, _demi-saison_ overcoat. He'll catch cold. Oh these +young fellows. + +LUBOV. I'll die of this. Go and find out, Yasha, to whom it's sold. + +YASHA. Oh, but he's been gone a long time, the old man. [Laughs.] + +LUBOV. [Slightly vexed] Why do you laugh? What are you glad about? + +YASHA. Epikhodov's too funny. He's a silly man. Two-and-twenty +troubles. + +LUBOV. Fiers, if the estate is sold, where will you go? + +FIERS. I'll go wherever you order me to go. + +LUBOV. Why do you look like that? Are you ill? I think you ought to +go to bed. ... + +FIERS. Yes ... [With a smile] I'll go to bed, and who'll hand +things round and give orders without me? I've the whole house on my +shoulders. + +YASHA. [To LUBOV ANDREYEVNA] Lubov Andreyevna! I want to ask a +favour of you, if you'll be so kind! If you go to Paris again, then +please take me with you. It's absolutely impossible for me to stop +here. [Looking round; in an undertone] What's the good of talking +about it, you see for yourself that this is an uneducated country, +with an immoral population, and it's so dull. The food in the +kitchen is beastly, and here's this Fiers walking about mumbling +various inappropriate things. Take me with you, be so kind! + +[Enter PISCHIN.] + +PISCHIN. I come to ask for the pleasure of a little waltz, dear +lady. ... [LUBOV ANDREYEVNA goes to him] But all the same, you +wonderful woman, I must have 180 little roubles from you ... I +must. ... [They dance] 180 little roubles. ... [They go through +into the drawing-room.] + +YASHA. [Sings softly] + "Oh, will you understand + My soul's deep restlessness?" + +[In the drawing-room a figure in a grey top-hat and in baggy check +trousers is waving its hands and jumping about; there are cries of +"Bravo, Charlotta Ivanovna!"] + +DUNYASHA. [Stops to powder her face] The young mistress tells me to +dance--there are a lot of gentlemen, but few ladies--and my head +goes round when I dance, and my heart beats, Fiers Nicolaevitch; +the Post-office clerk told me something just now which made me +catch my breath. [The music grows faint.] + +FIERS. What did he say to you? + +DUNYASHA. He says, "You're like a little flower." + +YASHA. [Yawns] Impolite. ... [Exit.] + +DUNYASHA. Like a little flower. I'm such a delicate girl; I simply +love words of tenderness. + +FIERS. You'll lose your head. + +[Enter EPIKHODOV.] + +EPIKHODOV. You, Avdotya Fedorovna, want to see me no more than if I +was some insect. [Sighs] Oh, life! + +DUNYASHA. What do you want? + +EPIKHODOV. Undoubtedly, perhaps, you may be right. [Sighs] But, +certainly, if you regard the matter from the aspect, then you, if I +may say so, and you must excuse my candidness, have absolutely +reduced me to a state of mind. I know my fate, every day something +unfortunate happens to me, and I've grown used to it a long time +ago, I even look at my fate with a smile. You gave me your word, +and though I ... + +DUNYASHA. Please, we'll talk later on, but leave me alone now. I'm +meditating now. [Plays with her fan.] + +EPIKHODOV. Every day something unfortunate happens to me, and I, if +I may so express myself, only smile, and even laugh. + +[VARYA enters from the drawing-room.] + +VARYA. Haven't you gone yet, Simeon? You really have no respect for +anybody. [To DUNYASHA] You go away, Dunyasha. [To EPIKHODOV] You +play billiards and break a cue, and walk about the drawing-room as +if you were a visitor! + +EPIKHODOV. You cannot, if I may say so, call me to order. + +VARYA. I'm not calling you to order, I'm only telling you. You just +walk about from place to place and never do your work. Goodness +only knows why we keep a clerk. + +EPIKHODOV. [Offended] Whether I work, or walk about, or eat, or +play billiards, is only a matter to be settled by people of +understanding and my elders. + +VARYA. You dare to talk to me like that! [Furious] You dare? You +mean that I know nothing? Get out of here! This minute! + +EPIKHODOV. [Nervous] I must ask you to express yourself more +delicately. + +VARYA. [Beside herself] Get out this minute. Get out! [He goes to +the door, she follows] Two-and-twenty troubles! I don't want any +sign of you here! I don't want to see anything of you! [EPIKHODOV +has gone out; his voice can be heard outside: "I'll make a +complaint against you."] What, coming back? [Snatches up the stick +left by FIERS by the door] Go ... go ... go, I'll show you. ... Are +you going? Are you going? Well, then take that. [She hits out as +LOPAKHIN enters.] + +LOPAKHIN. Much obliged. + +VARYA. [Angry but amused] I'm sorry. + +LOPAKHIN. Never mind. I thank you for my pleasant reception. + +VARYA. It isn't worth any thanks. [Walks away, then looks back and +asks gently] I didn't hurt you, did I? + +LOPAKHIN. No, not at all. There'll be an enormous bump, that's all. + +VOICES FROM THE DRAWING-ROOM. Lopakhin's returned! Ermolai +Alexeyevitch! + +PISCHIN. Now we'll see what there is to see and hear what there is +to hear. .. [Kisses LOPAKHIN] You smell of cognac, my dear, my +soul. And we're all having a good time. + +[Enter LUBOV ANDREYEVNA.] + +LUBOV. Is that you, Ermolai Alexeyevitch? Why were you so long? +Where's Leonid? + +LOPAKHIN. Leonid Andreyevitch came back with me, he's coming. ... + +LUBOV. [Excited] Well, what? Is it sold? Tell me? + +LOPAKHIN. [Confused, afraid to show his pleasure] The sale ended up +at four o'clock. ... We missed the train, and had to wait till +half-past nine. [Sighs heavily] Ooh! My head's going round a +little. + +[Enter GAEV; in his right hand he carries things he has bought, +with his left he wipes away his tears.] + +LUBOV. Leon, what's happened? Leon, well? [Impatiently, in tears] +Quick, for the love of God. ... + +GAEV. [Says nothing to her, only waves his hand; to FIERS, weeping] +Here, take this. ... Here are anchovies, herrings from Kertch. ... +I've had no food to-day. ... I have had a time! [The door from the +billiard-room is open; the clicking of the balls is heard, and +YASHA'S voice, "Seven, eighteen!" GAEV'S expression changes, he +cries no more] I'm awfully tired. Help me change my clothes, Fiers. + +[Goes out through the drawing-room; FIERS after him.] + +PISCHIN. What happened? Come on, tell us! + +LUBOV. Is the cherry orchard sold? + +LOPAKHIN. It is sold. + +LUBOV. Who bought it? + +LOPAKHIN. I bought it. + +[LUBOV ANDREYEVNA is overwhelmed; she would fall if she were not +standing by an armchair and a table. VARYA takes her keys off her +belt, throws them on the floor, into the middle of the room and +goes out.] + +LOPAKHIN. I bought it! Wait, ladies and gentlemen, please, my +head's going round, I can't talk. ... [Laughs] When we got to the +sale, Deriganov was there already. Leonid Andreyevitch had only +fifteen thousand roubles, and Deriganov offered thirty thousand on +top of the mortgage to begin with. I saw how matters were, so I +grabbed hold of him and bid forty. He went up to forty-five, I +offered fifty-five. That means he went up by fives and I went up by +tens. ... Well, it came to an end. I bid ninety more than the +mortgage; and it stayed with me. The cherry orchard is mine now, +mine! [Roars with laughter] My God, my God, the cherry orchard's +mine! Tell me I'm drunk, or mad, or dreaming. ... [Stamps his feet] +Don't laugh at me! If my father and grandfather rose from their +graves and looked at the whole affair, and saw how their Ermolai, +their beaten and uneducated Ermolai, who used to run barefoot in +the winter, how that very Ermolai has bought an estate, which is +the most beautiful thing in the world! I've bought the estate where +my grandfather and my father were slaves, where they weren't even +allowed into the kitchen. I'm asleep, it's only a dream, an +illusion. ... It's the fruit of imagination, wrapped in the fog of +the unknown. ... [Picks up the keys, nicely smiling] She threw down +the keys, she wanted to show she was no longer mistress here. ... +[Jingles keys] Well, it's all one! [Hears the band tuning up] Eh, +musicians, play, I want to hear you! Come and look at Ermolai +Lopakhin laying his axe to the cherry orchard, come and look at the +trees falling! We'll build villas here, and our grandsons and +great-grandsons will see a new life here. ... Play on, music! [The +band plays. LUBOV ANDREYEVNA sinks into a chair and weeps bitterly. +LOPAKHIN continues reproachfully] Why then, why didn't you take my +advice? My poor, dear woman, you can't go back now. [Weeps] Oh, if +only the whole thing was done with, if only our uneven, unhappy +life were changed! + +PISCHIN. [Takes his arm; in an undertone] She's crying. Let's go +into the drawing-room and leave her by herself ... come on. ... +[Takes his arm and leads him out.] + +LOPAKHIN. What's that? Bandsmen, play nicely! Go on, do just as I +want you to! [Ironically] The new owner, the owner of the cherry +orchard is coming! [He accidentally knocks up against a little +table and nearly upsets the candelabra] I can pay for everything! +[Exit with PISCHIN] + +[In the reception-room and the drawing-room nobody remains except +LUBOV ANDREYEVNA, who sits huddled up and weeping bitterly. The +band plays softly. ANYA and TROFIMOV come in quickly. ANYA goes up +to her mother and goes on her knees in front of her. TROFIMOV +stands at the drawing-room entrance.] + +ANYA. Mother! mother, are you crying? My dear, kind, good mother, +my beautiful mother, I love you! Bless you! The cherry orchard is +sold, we've got it no longer, it's true, true, but don't cry +mother, you've still got your life before you, you've still your +beautiful pure soul ... Come with me, come, dear, away from here, +come! We'll plant a new garden, finer than this, and you'll see it, +and you'll understand, and deep joy, gentle joy will sink into your +soul, like the evening sun, and you'll smile, mother! Come, dear, +let's go! + +Curtain. + + +ACT FOUR + + +[The stage is set as for Act I. There are no curtains on the +windows, no pictures; only a few pieces of furniture are left; they +are piled up in a corner as if for sale. The emptiness is felt. By +the door that leads out of the house and at the back of the stage, +portmanteaux and travelling paraphernalia are piled up. The door on +the left is open; the voices of VARYA and ANYA can be heard through +it. LOPAKHIN stands and waits. YASHA holds a tray with little +tumblers of champagne. Outside, EPIKHODOV is tying up a box. Voices +are heard behind the stage. The peasants have come to say good-bye. +The voice of GAEV is heard: "Thank you, brothers, thank you."] + +YASHA. The common people have come to say good-bye. I am of the +opinion, Ermolai Alexeyevitch, that they're good people, but they +don't understand very much. + +[The voices die away. LUBOV ANDREYEVNA and GAEV enter. She is not +crying but is pale, and her face trembles; she can hardly speak.] + +GAEV. You gave them your purse, Luba. You can't go on like that, +you can't! + +LUBOV. I couldn't help myself, I couldn't! [They go out.] + +LOPAKHIN. [In the doorway, calling after them] Please, I ask you +most humbly! Just a little glass to say good-bye. I didn't remember +to bring any from town and I only found one bottle at the station. +Please, do! [Pause] Won't you really have any? [Goes away from the +door] If I only knew--I wouldn't have bought any. Well, I shan't +drink any either. [YASHA carefully puts the tray on a chair] You +have a drink, Yasha, at any rate. + +YASHA. To those departing! And good luck to those who stay behind! +[Drinks] I can assure you that this isn't real champagne. + +LOPAKHIN. Eight roubles a bottle. [Pause] It's devilish cold here. + +YASHA. There are no fires to-day, we're going away. [Laughs] + +LOPAKHIN. What's the matter with you? + +YASHA. I'm just pleased. + +LOPAKHIN. It's October outside, but it's as sunny and as quiet as +if it were summer. Good for building. [Looking at his watch and +speaking through the door] Ladies and gentlemen, please remember +that it's only forty-seven minutes till the train goes! You must go +off to the station in twenty minutes. Hurry up. + +[TROFIMOV, in an overcoat, comes in from the grounds.] + +TROFIMOV. I think it's time we went. The carriages are waiting. +Where the devil are my goloshes? They're lost. [Through the door] +Anya, I can't find my goloshes! I can't! + +LOPAKHIN. I've got to go to Kharkov. I'm going in the same train as +you. I'm going to spend the whole winter in Kharkov. I've been +hanging about with you people, going rusty without work. I can't +live without working. I must have something to do with my hands; +they hang about as if they weren't mine at all. + +TROFIMOV. We'll go away now and then you'll start again on your +useful labours. + +LOPAKHIN. Have a glass. + +TROFIMOV. I won't. + +LOPAKHIN. So you're off to Moscow now? + +TROFIMOV Yes. I'll see them into town and to-morrow I'm off to +Moscow. + +LOPAKHIN. Yes. ... I expect the professors don't lecture nowadays; +they're waiting till you turn up! + +TROFIMOV. That's not your business. + +LOPAKHIN. How many years have you been going to the university? + +TROFIMOV. Think of something fresh. This is old and flat. [Looking +for his goloshes] You know, we may not meet each other again, so +just let me give you a word of advice on parting: "Don't wave your +hands about! Get rid of that habit of waving them about. And then, +building villas and reckoning on their residents becoming freeholders +in time--that's the same thing; it's all a matter of waving your hands +about. ... Whether I want to or not, you know, I like you. You've +thin, delicate fingers, like those of an artist, and you've a thin, +delicate soul. ..." + +LOPAKHIN. [Embraces him] Good-bye, dear fellow. Thanks for all +you've said. If you want any, take some money from me for the +journey. + +TROFIMOV. Why should I? I don't want it. + +LOPAKHIN. But you've nothing! + +TROFIMOV. Yes, I have, thank you; I've got some for a translation. +Here it is in my pocket. [Nervously] But I can't find my goloshes! + +VARYA. [From the other room] Take your rubbish away! [Throws a pair +of rubber goloshes on to the stage.] + +TROFIMOV. Why are you angry, Varya? Hm! These aren't my goloshes! + +LOPAKHIN. In the spring I sowed three thousand acres of poppies, +and now I've made forty thousand roubles net profit. And when my +poppies were in flower, what a picture it was! So I, as I was +saying, made forty thousand roubles, and I mean I'd like to lend +you some, because I can afford it. Why turn up your nose at it? I'm +just a simple peasant. ... + +TROFIMOV. Your father was a peasant, mine was a chemist, and that +means absolutely nothing. [LOPAKHIN takes out his pocket-book] No, +no. ... Even if you gave me twenty thousand I should refuse. I'm a +free man. And everything that all you people, rich and poor, value +so highly and so dearly hasn't the least influence over me; it's +like a flock of down in the wind. I can do without you, I can pass +you by. I'm strong and proud. Mankind goes on to the highest truths +and to the highest happiness such as is only possible on earth, and +I go in the front ranks! + +LOPAKHIN. Will you get there? + +TROFIMOV. I will. [Pause] I'll get there and show others the way. +[Axes cutting the trees are heard in the distance.] + +LOPAKHIN. Well, good-bye, old man. It's time to go. Here we stand +pulling one another's noses, but life goes its own way all the +time. When I work for a long time, and I don't get tired, then I +think more easily, and I think I get to understand why I exist. And +there are so many people in Russia, brother, who live for nothing +at all. Still, work goes on without that. Leonid Andreyevitch, they +say, has accepted a post in a bank; he will get sixty thousand +roubles a year. ... But he won't stand it; he's very lazy. + +ANYA. [At the door] Mother asks if you will stop them cutting down +the orchard until she has gone away. + +TROFIMOV. Yes, really, you ought to have enough tact not to do +that. [Exit.] + +LOPAKHIN, All right, all right ... yes, he's right. [Exit.] + +ANYA. Has Fiers been sent to the hospital? + +YASHA. I gave the order this morning. I suppose they've sent him. + +ANYA. [To EPIKHODOV, who crosses the room] Simeon Panteleyevitch, +please make inquiries if Fiers has been sent to the hospital. + +YASHA. [Offended] I told Egor this morning. What's the use of +asking ten times! + +EPIKHODOV. The aged Fiers, in my conclusive opinion, isn't worth +mending; his forefathers had better have him. I only envy him. +[Puts a trunk on a hat-box and squashes it] Well, of course. I +thought so! [Exit.] + +YASHA. [Grinning] Two-and-twenty troubles. + +VARYA. [Behind the door] Has Fiers been taken away to the hospital? + +ANYA. Yes. + +VARYA. Why didn't they take the letter to the doctor? + +ANYA. It'll have to be sent after him. [Exit.] + +VARYA. [In the next room] Where's Yasha? Tell him his mother's come +and wants to say good-bye to him. + +YASHA. [Waving his hand] She'll make me lose all patience! + +[DUNYASHA has meanwhile been bustling round the luggage; now that +YASHA is left alone, she goes up to him.] + +DUNYASHA. If you only looked at me once, Yasha. You're going away, +leaving me behind. + +[Weeps and hugs him round the neck.] + +YASHA. What's the use of crying? [Drinks champagne] In six days +I'll be again in Paris. To-morrow we get into the express and off +we go. I can hardly believe it. Vive la France! It doesn't suit me +here, I can't live here ... it's no good. Well, I've seen the +uncivilized world; I have had enough of it. [Drinks champagne] What +do you want to cry for? You behave yourself properly, and then you +won't cry. + +DUNYASHA. [Looks in a small mirror and powders her face] Send me a +letter from Paris. You know I loved you, Yasha, so much! I'm a +sensitive creature, Yasha. + +YASHA. Somebody's coming. + +[He bustles around the luggage, singing softly. Enter LUBOV +ANDREYEVNA, GAEV, ANYA, and CHARLOTTA IVANOVNA.] + +GAEV. We'd better be off. There's no time left. [Looks at YASHA] +Somebody smells of herring! + +LUBOV. We needn't get into our carriages for ten minutes. ... +[Looks round the room] Good-bye, dear house, old grandfather. The +winter will go, the spring will come, and then you'll exist no +more, you'll be pulled down. How much these walls have seen! +[Passionately kisses her daughter] My treasure, you're radiant, +your eyes flash like two jewels! Are you happy? Very? + +ANYA. Very! A new life is beginning, mother! + +GAEV. [Gaily] Yes, really, everything's all right now. Before the +cherry orchard was sold we all were excited and we suffered, and +then, when the question was solved once and for all, we all calmed +down, and even became cheerful. I'm a bank official now, and a +financier ... red in the middle; and you, Luba, for some reason or +other, look better, there's no doubt about it. + +LUBOV Yes. My nerves are better, it's true. [She puts on her coat +and hat] I sleep well. Take my luggage out, Yasha. It's time. [To +ANYA] My little girl, we'll soon see each other again. ... I'm off +to Paris. I'll live there on the money your grandmother from +Yaroslav sent along to buy the estate--bless her!--though it won't +last long. + +ANYA. You'll come back soon, soon, mother, won't you? I'll get +ready, and pass the exam at the Higher School, and then I'll work +and help you. We'll read all sorts of books to one another, won't +we? [Kisses her mother's hands] We'll read in the autumn evenings; +we'll read many books, and a beautiful new world will open up +before us. ... [Thoughtfully] You'll come, mother. ... + +LUBOV. I'll come, my darling. [Embraces her.] + +[Enter LOPAKHIN. CHARLOTTA is singing to herself.] + +GAEV. Charlotta is happy; she sings! + +CHARLOTTA. [Takes a bundle, looking like a wrapped-up baby] My +little baby, bye-bye. [The baby seems to answer, "Oua! Oua!"] Hush, +my nice little boy. ["Oua! Oua!"] I'm so sorry for you! [Throws the +bundle back] So please find me a new place. I can't go on like +this. + +LOPAKHIN. We'll find one, Charlotta Ivanovna, don't you be afraid. + +GAEV. Everybody's leaving us. Varya's going away ... we've suddenly +become unnecessary. + +CHARLOTTA. I've nowhere to live in town. I must go away. [Hums] +Never mind. + +[Enter PISCHIN.] + +LOPAKHIN. Nature's marvel! + +PISCHIN. [Puffing] Oh, let me get my breath back. ... I'm fagged +out ... My most honoured, give me some water. ... + +GAEV. Come for money, what? I'm your humble servant, and I'm going out +of the way of temptation. [Exit.] + +PISCHIN. I haven't been here for ever so long ... dear madam. [To +LOPAKHIN] You here? Glad to see you ... man of immense brain ... +take this ... take it. ... [Gives LOPAKHIN money] Four hundred +roubles. ... That leaves 840. ... + +LOPAKHIN. [Shrugs his shoulders in surprise] As if I were dreaming. +Where did you get this from? + +PISCHIN. Stop ... it's hot. ... A most unexpected thing happened. +Some Englishmen came along and found some white clay on my land. ... +[To LUBOV ANDREYEVNA] And here's four hundred for you ... beautiful +lady. ... [Gives her money] Give you the rest later. ... [Drinks +water] Just now a young man in the train was saying that some great +philosopher advises us all to jump off roofs. "Jump!" he says, and +that's all. [Astonished] To think of that, now! More water! + +LOPAKHIN. Who were these Englishmen? + +PISCHIN. I've leased off the land with the clay to them for twenty-four +years. ... Now, excuse me, I've no time. ... I must run off. ... I +must go to Znoikov and to Kardamonov ... I owe them all money. ... +[Drinks] Good-bye. I'll come in on Thursday. + +LUBOV. We're just off to town, and to-morrow I go abroad. + +PISCHIN. [Agitated] What? Why to town? I see furniture ... trunks. ... +Well, never mind. [Crying] Never mind. These Englishmen are men of +immense intellect. ... Never mind. ... Be happy. ... God will help +you. ... Never mind. ... Everything in this world comes to an end. ... +[Kisses LUBOV ANDREYEVNA'S hand] And if you should happen to hear +that my end has come, just remember this old ... horse and say: +"There was one such and such a Simeonov-Pischin, God bless his +soul. ..." Wonderful weather ... yes. ... [Exit deeply moved, but +returns at once and says in the door] Dashenka sent her love! +[Exit.] + +LUBOV. Now we can go. I've two anxieties, though. The first is poor +Fiers [Looks at her watch] We've still five minutes. ... + +ANYA. Mother, Fiers has already been sent to the hospital. Yasha +sent him off this morning. + +LUBOV. The second is Varya. She's used to getting up early and to +work, and now she's no work to do she's like a fish out of water. +She's grown thin and pale, and she cries, poor thing. ... [Pause] +You know very well, Ermolai Alexeyevitch, that I used to hope to +marry her to you, and I suppose you are going to marry somebody? +[Whispers to ANYA, who nods to CHARLOTTA, and they both go out] She +loves you, she's your sort, and I don't understand, I really don't, +why you seem to be keeping away from each other. I don't +understand! + +LOPAKHIN. To tell the truth, I don't understand it myself. It's all +so strange. ... If there's still time, I'll be ready at once ... +Let's get it over, once and for all; I don't feel as if I could +ever propose to her without you. + +LUBOV. Excellent. It'll only take a minute. I'll call her. + +LOPAKHIN. The champagne's very appropriate. [Looking at the +tumblers] They're empty, somebody's already drunk them. [YASHA +coughs] I call that licking it up. ... + +LUBOV. [Animated] Excellent. We'll go out. Yasha, allez. I'll call +her in. ... [At the door] Varya, leave that and come here. Come! +[Exit with YASHA.] + +LOPAKHIN. [Looks at his watch] Yes. ... [Pause.] + +[There is a restrained laugh behind the door, a whisper, then VARYA +comes in.] + +VARYA. [Looking at the luggage in silence] I can't seem to find it. ... + +LOPAKHIN. What are you looking for? + +VARYA. I packed it myself and I don't remember. [Pause.] + +LOPAKHIN. Where are you going to now, Barbara Mihailovna? + +VARYA. I? To the Ragulins. ... I've got an agreement to go and look +after their house ... as housekeeper or something. + +LOPAKHIN. Is that at Yashnevo? It's about fifty miles. [Pause] So +life in this house is finished now. ... + +VARYA. [Looking at the luggage] Where is it? ... perhaps I've put +it away in the trunk. ... Yes, there'll be no more life in this +house. ... + +LOPAKHIN. And I'm off to Kharkov at once ... by this train. I've a +lot of business on hand. I'm leaving Epikhodov here ... I've taken +him on. + +VARYA. Well, well! + +LOPAKHIN. Last year at this time the snow was already falling, if +you remember, and now it's nice and sunny. Only it's rather cold. ... +There's three degrees of frost. + +VARYA. I didn't look. [Pause] And our thermometer's broken. ... +[Pause.] + +VOICE AT THE DOOR. Ermolai Alexeyevitch! + +LOPAKHIN. [As if he has long been waiting to be called] This +minute. [Exit quickly.] + +[VARYA, sitting on the floor, puts her face on a bundle of clothes +and weeps gently. The door opens. LUBOV ANDREYEVNA enters +carefully.] + +LUBOV. Well? [Pause] We must go. + +VARYA. [Not crying now, wipes her eyes] Yes, it's quite time, +little mother. I'll get to the Ragulins to-day, if I don't miss the +train. ... + +LUBOV. [At the door] Anya, put on your things. [Enter ANYA, then +GAEV, CHARLOTTA IVANOVNA. GAEV wears a warm overcoat with a cape. A +servant and drivers come in. EPIKHODOV bustles around the luggage] +Now we can go away. + +ANYA. [Joyfully] Away! + +GAEV. My friends, my dear friends! Can I be silent, in leaving this +house for evermore?--can I restrain myself, in saying farewell, +from expressing those feelings which now fill my whole being ...? + +ANYA. [Imploringly] Uncle! + +VARYA. Uncle, you shouldn't! + +GAEV. [Stupidly] Double the red into the middle. ... I'll be quiet. + +[Enter TROFIMOV, then LOPAKHIN.] + +TROFIMOV. Well, it's time to be off. + +LOPAKHIN. Epikhodov, my coat! + +LUBOV. I'll sit here one more minute. It's as if I'd never really +noticed what the walls and ceilings of this house were like, and +now I look at them greedily, with such tender love. ... + +GAEV. I remember, when I was six years old, on Trinity Sunday, I +sat at this window and looked and saw my father going to church. ... + +LUBOV. Have all the things been taken away? + +LOPAKHIN. Yes, all, I think. [To EPIKHODOV, putting on his coat] +You see that everything's quite straight, Epikhodov. + +EPIKHODOV. [Hoarsely] You may depend upon me, Ermolai Alexeyevitch! + +LOPAKHIN. What's the matter with your voice? + +EPIKHODOV. I swallowed something just now; I was having a drink of +water. + +YASHA. [Suspiciously] What manners. ... + +LUBOV. We go away, and not a soul remains behind. + +LOPAKHIN. Till the spring. + +VARYA. [Drags an umbrella out of a bundle, and seems to be waving +it about. LOPAKHIN appears to be frightened] What are you doing? ... +I never thought ... + +TROFIMOV. Come along, let's take our seats ... it's time! The train +will be in directly. + +VARYA. Peter, here they are, your goloshes, by that trunk. [In +tears] And how old and dirty they are. ... + +TROFIMOV. [Putting them on] Come on! + +GAEV. [Deeply moved, nearly crying] The train ... the station. ... +Cross in the middle, a white double in the corner. ... + +LUBOV. Let's go! + +LOPAKHIN. Are you all here? There's nobody else? [Locks the +side-door on the left] There's a lot of things in there. I must +lock them up. Come! + +ANYA. Good-bye, home! Good-bye, old life! + +TROFIMOV. Welcome, new life! [Exit with ANYA.] + +[VARYA looks round the room and goes out slowly. YASHA and +CHARLOTTA, with her little dog, go out.] + +LOPAKHIN. Till the spring, then! Come on ... till we meet again! +[Exit.] + +[LUBOV ANDREYEVNA and GAEV are left alone. They might almost have +been waiting for that. They fall into each other's arms and sob +restrainedly and quietly, fearing that somebody might hear them.] + +GAEV. [In despair] My sister, my sister. ... + +LUBOV. My dear, my gentle, beautiful orchard! My life, my youth, my +happiness, good-bye! Good-bye! + +ANYA'S VOICE. [Gaily] Mother! + +TROFIMOV'S VOICE. [Gaily, excited] Coo-ee! + +LUBOV. To look at the walls and the windows for the last time. ... +My dead mother used to like to walk about this room. ... + +GAEV. My sister, my sister! + +ANYA'S VOICE. Mother! + +TROFIMOV'S VOICE. Coo-ee! + +LUBOV. We're coming! [They go out.] + +[The stage is empty. The sound of keys being turned in the locks is +heard, and then the noise of the carriages going away. It is quiet. +Then the sound of an axe against the trees is heard in the silence +sadly and by itself. Steps are heard. FIERS comes in from the door +on the right. He is dressed as usual, in a short jacket and white +waistcoat; slippers on his feet. He is ill. He goes to the door and +tries the handle.] + +FIERS. It's locked. They've gone away. [Sits on a sofa] They've +forgotten about me. ... Never mind, I'll sit here. ... And Leonid +Andreyevitch will have gone in a light overcoat instead of putting +on his fur coat. ... [Sighs anxiously] I didn't see. ... Oh, these +young people! [Mumbles something that cannot be understood] Life's +gone on as if I'd never lived. [Lying down] I'll lie down. ... +You've no strength left in you, nothing left at all. ... Oh, you ... +bungler! + +[He lies without moving. The distant sound is heard, as if from +the sky, of a breaking string, dying away sadly. Silence follows +it, and only the sound is heard, some way away in the orchard, of +the axe falling on the trees.] + +Curtain. + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Plays by Anton Chekhov, Second Series +by Anton Chekhov + +*** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK SECOND SERIES PLAYS *** + +This file should be named 7pla210.txt or 7pla210.zip +Corrected EDITIONS of our eBooks get a new NUMBER, 7pla211.txt +VERSIONS based on separate sources get new LETTER, 7pla210a.txt + +Transcribed by James Rusk and Produced for PG by Nicole Apostola + +Project Gutenberg eBooks are often created from several printed +editions, all of which are confirmed as Public Domain in the US +unless a copyright notice is included. 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You can also find out about how to make a +donation to Project Gutenberg, and how to get involved. + + +**Welcome To The World of Free Plain Vanilla Electronic Texts** + +**eBooks Readable By Both Humans and By Computers, Since 1971** + +*****These eBooks Were Prepared By Thousands of Volunteers!***** + + +Title: Plays by Anton Chekhov, Second Series + On the High Road, The Proposal, The Wedding, The Bear, + A Tragedian In Spite of Himself, The Anniversary, + The Three Sisters, The Cherry Orchard + +Author: Anton Chekhov + +Release Date: April, 2005 [EBook #7986] +[Yes, we are more than one year ahead of schedule] +[This file was first posted on June 9, 2003] + +Edition: 10 + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ISO-Latin-1 + +*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK SECOND SERIES PLAYS *** + + + + +Transcribed by James Rusk and Produced for PG by Nicole Apostola + + + + +PLAYS BY ANTON CHEKHOV +SECOND SERIES + +[The First Series Plays have been previously published + in etext numbers: 1753 through 1756] + + +Translated, with an Introduction, by Julius West + + +CONTENTS + +INTRODUCTION +ON THE HIGH ROAD +THE PROPOSAL +THE WEDDING +THE BEAR +A TRAGEDIAN IN SPITE OF HIMSELF +THE ANNIVERSARY +THE THREE SISTERS +THE CHERRY ORCHARD + + + +INTRODUCTION + +The last few years have seen a large and generally unsystematic +mass of translations from the Russian flung at the heads and hearts +of English readers. The ready acceptance of Chekhov has been one of +the few successful features of this irresponsible output. He has +been welcomed by British critics with something like affection. +Bernard Shaw has several times remarked: "Every time I see a play +by Chekhov, I want to chuck all my own stuff into the fire." +Others, having no such valuable property to sacrifice on the altar +of Chekhov, have not hesitated to place him side by side with +Ibsen, and the other established institutions of the new theatre. +For these reasons it is pleasant to be able to chronicle the fact +that, by way of contrast with the casual treatment normally handed +out to Russian authors, the publishers are issuing the complete +dramatic works of this author. In 1912 they brought out a volume +containing four Chekhov plays, translated by Marian Fell. All the +dramatic works not included in her volume are to be found in the +present one. With the exception of Chekhov's masterpiece, "The +Cherry Orchard" (translated by the late Mr. George Calderon in +1912), none of these plays have been previously published in book +form in England or America. + +It is not the business of a translator to attempt to outdo all +others in singing the praises of his raw material. This is a +dangerous process and may well lead, as it led Mr. Calderon, to +drawing the reader's attention to points of beauty not to be found +in the original. A few bibliographical details are equally +necessary, and permissible, and the elementary principles of +Chekhov criticism will also be found useful. + +The very existence of "The High Road" (1884); probably the earliest +of its author's plays, will be unsuspected by English readers. +During Chekhov's lifetime it a sort of family legend, after his +death it became a family mystery. A copy was finally discovered +only last year in the Censor's office, yielded up, and published. +It had been sent in 1885 under the nom-de-plume "A. Chekhonte," and +it had failed to pass. The Censor, of the time being had scrawled +his opinion on the manuscript, "a depressing and dirty piece,-- +cannot be licensed." The name of the gentleman who held this view-- +Kaiser von Kugelgen--gives another reason for the educated +Russian's low opinion of German-sounding institutions. Baron von +Tuzenbach, the satisfactory person in "The Three Sisters," it will +be noted, finds it as well, while he is trying to secure the +favours of Irina, to declare that his German ancestry is fairly +remote. This is by way of parenthesis. "The High Road," found after +thirty years, is a most interesting document to the lover of +Chekhov. Every play he wrote in later years was either a one-act +farce or a four-act drama. [Note: "The Swan Song" may occur as an +exception. This, however, is more of a Shakespeare recitation than +anything else, and so neither here nor there.] + +In "The High Road" we see, in an embryonic form, the whole later +method of the plays--the deliberate contrast between two strong +characters (Bortsov and Merik in this case), the careful +individualization of each person in a fairly large group by way of +an introduction to the main theme, the concealment of the +catastrophe, germ-wise, in the actual character of the characters, +and the of a distinctive group-atmosphere. It need scarcely be +stated that "The High Road" is not a "dirty" piece according to +Russian or to German standards; Chekhov was incapable of writing a +dirty play or story. For the rest, this piece differs from the +others in its presentation, not of Chekhov's favourite middle-classes, +but of the moujik, nourishing, in a particularly stuffy atmosphere, +an intense mysticism and an equally intense thirst for vodka. + +"The Proposal" (1889) and "The Bear" (1890) may be taken as good +examples of the sort of humour admired by the average Russian. The +latter play, in another translation, was put on as a curtain-raiser +to a cinematograph entertainment at a London theatre in 1914; and +had quite a pleasant reception from a thoroughly Philistine +audience. The humour is very nearly of the variety most popular +over here, the psychology is a shade subtler. The Russian novelist +or dramatist takes to psychology as some of his fellow-countrymen +take to drink; in doing this he achieves fame by showing us what we +already know, and at the same time he kills his own creative power. +Chekhov just escaped the tragedy of suicide by introspection, and +was only enabled to do this by the possession of a sense of humour. +That is why we should not regard "The Bear," "The Wedding," or "The +Anniversary" as the work of a merely humorous young man, but as +the saving graces which made perfect "The Cherry Orchard." + +"The Three Sisters" (1901) is said to act better than any other of +Chekhov's plays, and should surprise an English audience +exceedingly. It and "The Cherry Orchard" are the tragedies of doing +nothing. The three sisters have only one desire in the world, to go +to Moscow and live there. There is no reason on earth, economic, +sentimental, or other, why they should not pack their bags and take +the next train to Moscow. But they will not do it. They cannot do +it. And we know perfectly well that if they were transplanted +thither miraculously, they would be extremely unhappy as soon as +ever the excitement of the miracle had worn off. In the other play +Mme. Ranevsky can be saved from ruin if she will only consent to a +perfectly simple step--the sale of an estate. She cannot do this, +is ruined, and thrown out into the unsympathetic world. Chekhov is +the dramatist, not of action, but of inaction. The tragedy of +inaction is as overwhelming, when we understand it, as the tragedy +of an Othello, or a Lear, crushed by the wickedness of others. The +former is being enacted daily, but we do not stage it, we do not +know how. But who shall deny that the base of almost all human +unhappiness is just this inaction, manifesting itself in +slovenliness of thought and execution, education, and ideal? + +The Russian, painfully conscious of his own weakness, has accepted +this point of view, and regards "The Cherry Orchard" as its master-study +in dramatic form. They speak of the palpitating hush which fell +upon the audience of the Moscow Art Theatre after the first fall of +the curtain at the first performance--a hush so intense as to make +Chekhov's friends undergo the initial emotions of assisting at a +vast theatrical failure. But the silence ryes almost a sob, to be +followed, when overcome, by an epic applause. And, a few months +later, Chekhov died. + +This volume and that of Marian Fell--with which it is uniform-- +contain all the dramatic works of Chekhov. It considered not worth +while to translate a few fragments published posthumously, or a +monologue "On the Evils of Tobacco"--a half humorous lecture by +"the husband of his wife;" which begins "Ladies, and in some +respects, gentlemen," as this is hardly dramatic work. There is +also a very short skit on the efficiency of provincial fire +brigades, which was obviously not intended for the stage and has +therefore been omitted. + +Lastly, the scheme of transliteration employed has been that, +generally speaking, recommended by the Liverpool School of Russian +Studies. This is distinctly the best of those in the field, but as +it would compel one, e.g., to write a popular female name, "Marya," +I have not treated it absolute respect. For the sake of uniformity +with Fell's volume, the author's name is spelt Tchekoff on the +title-page and cover. + +J. W. + + + +RUSSIAN WEIGHTS AND MEASURES AND +MONEY EMPLOYED IN THE PLAYS, +WITH ENGLISH EQUIVALENTS + +1 verst = 3600 feet = 2/3 mile (almost) +1 arshin = 28 inches +1 dessiatin = 2.7 acres +1 copeck = 1/4 d +1 rouble = 100 copecks = 2s. 1d. + + + +ON THE HIGH ROAD +A DRAMATIC STUDY + + +CHARACTERS + +TIHON EVSTIGNEYEV, the proprietor of a inn on the main road +SEMYON SERGEYEVITCH BORTSOV, a ruined landowner +MARIA EGOROVNA, his wife +SAVVA, an aged pilgrim +NAZAROVNA and EFIMOVNA, women pilgrims +FEDYA, a labourer +EGOR MERIK, a tramp +KUSMA, a driver +POSTMAN +BORTSOV'S WIFE'S COACHMAN +PILGRIMS, CATTLE-DEALERS, ETC. + +The action takes place in one of the provinces of Southern Russia + +ON THE HIGH ROAD + +[The scene is laid in TIHON'S bar. On the right is the bar-counter +and shelves with bottles. At the back is a door leading out of the +house. Over it, on the outside, hangs a dirty red lantern. The +floor and the forms, which stand against the wall, are closely +occupied by pilgrims and passers-by. Many of them, for lack of +space, are sleeping as they sit. It is late at night. As the +curtain rises thunder is heard, and lightning is seen through the +door.] + +[TIHON is behind the counter. FEDYA is half-lying in a heap on one +of the forms, and is quietly playing on a concertina. Next to him +is BORTSOV, wearing a shabby summer overcoat. SAVVA, NAZAROVNA, and +EFIMOVNA are stretched out on the floor by the benches.] + +EFIMOVNA. [To NAZAROVNA] Give the old man a nudge dear! Can't get +any answer out of him. + +NAZAROVNA. [Lifting the corner of a cloth covering of SAVVA'S face] +Are you alive or are you dead, you holy man? + +SAVVA. Why should I be dead? I'm alive, mother! [Raises himself on +his elbow] Cover up my feet, there's a saint! That's it. A bit more +on the right one. That's it, mother. God be good to us. + +NAZAROVNA. [Wrapping up SAVVA'S feet] Sleep, little father. + +SAVVA. What sleep can I have? If only I had the patience to endure +this pain, mother; sleep's quite another matter. A sinner doesn't +deserve to be given rest. What's that noise, pilgrim-woman? + +NAZAROVNA. God is sending a storm. The wind is wailing, and the +rain is pouring down, pouring down. All down the roof and into the +windows like dried peas. Do you hear? The windows of heaven are +opened ... [Thunder] Holy, holy, holy ... + +FEDYA. And it roars and thunders, and rages, sad there's no end to +it! Hoooo ... it's like the noise of a forest. ... Hoooo. ... The +wind is wailing like a dog. ... [Shrinking back] It's cold! My +clothes are wet, it's all coining in through the open door ... you +might put me through a wringer. ... [Plays softly] My concertina's +damp, and so there's no music for you, my Orthodox brethren, or +else I'd give you such a concert, my word!--Something marvellous! +You can have a quadrille, or a polka, if you like, or some Russian +dance for two. ... I can do them all. In the town, where I was an +attendant at the Grand Hotel, I couldn't make any money, but I did +wonders on my concertina. And, I can play the guitar. + +A VOICE FROM THE CORNER. A silly speech from a silly fool. + +FEDYA. I can hear another of them. [Pause.] + +NAZAROVNA. [To SAVVA] If you'd only lie where it was warm now, +old man, and warm your feet. [Pause.] Old man! Man of God! [Shakes +SAVVA] Are you going to die? + +FEDYA. You ought to drink a little vodka, grandfather. Drink, and +it'll burn, burn in your stomach, and warm up your heart. Drink, +do! + +NAZAROVNA. Don't swank, young man! Perhaps the old man is giving +back his soul to God, or repenting for his sins, and you talk like +that, and play your concertina. ... Put it down! You've no shame! + +FEDYA. And what are you sticking to him for? He can't do anything +and you ... with your old women's talk ... He can't say a word in +reply, and you're glad, and happy because he's listening to your +nonsense. ... You go on sleeping, grandfather; never mind her! Let +her talk, don't you take any notice of her. A woman's tongue is +the devil's broom--it will sweep the good man and the clever man +both out of the house. Don't you mind. ... [Waves his hands] But +it's thin you are, brother of mine! Terrible! Like a dead skeleton! +No life in you! Are you really dying? + +SAVVA. Why should I die? Save me, O Lord, from dying in vain. ... +I'll suffer a little, and then get up with God's help. ... The +Mother of God won't let me die in a strange land. ... I'll die at +home. + +FEDYA. Are you from far off? + +SAVVA. From Vologda. The town itself. ... I live there. + +FEDYA. And where is this Vologda? + +TIHON. The other side of Moscow. ... + +FEDYA. Well, well, well. ... You have come a long way, old man! On +foot? + +SAVVA. On foot, young man. I've been to Tihon of the Don, and I'm +going to the Holy Hills. [Note: On the Donetz, south-east of +Kharkov; a monastery containing a miraculous ikon.] ... From there, +if God wills it, to Odessa. ... They say you can get to Jerusalem +cheap from there, for twenty-ones roubles, they say. ... + +FEDYA. And have you been to Moscow? + +SAVVA. Rather! Five times. ... + +FEDYA. Is it a good town? [Smokes] Well-standing? + +Sews. There are many holy places there, young man. ... Where there +are many holy places it's always a good town. ... + +BORTSOV. [Goes up to the counter, to TIHON] Once more, please! +For the sake of Christ, give it to me! + +FEDYA. The chief thing about a town is that it should be clean. If +it's dusty, it must be watered; if it's dirty, it must be cleaned. +There ought to be big houses ... a theatre ... police ... cabs, +which ... I've lived in a town myself, I understand. + +BORTSOV. Just a little glass. I'll pay you for it later. + +TIHON. That's enough now. + +BORTSOV. I ask you! Do be kind to me! + +TIHON. Get away! + +BORTSOV. You don't understand me. ... Understand me, you fool, if +there's a drop of brain in your peasant's wooden head, that it +isn't I who am asking you, but my inside, using the words you +understand, that's what's asking! My illness is what's asking! +Understand! + +TIHON. We don't understand anything. ... Get back! + +BORTSOV. Because if I don't have a drink at once, just you +understand this, if I don't satisfy my needs, I may commit some +crime. God only knows what I might do! In the time you've kept this +place, you rascal, haven't you seen a lot of drunkards, and haven't +you yet got to understand what they're like? They're diseased! You +can do anything you like to them, but you must give them vodka! +Well, now, I implore you! Please! I humbly ask you! God only knows +how humbly! + +TIHON. You can have the vodka if you pay for it. + +BORTSOV. Where am I to get the money? I've drunk it all! Down to +the ground! What can I give you? I've only got this coat, but I +can't give you that. I've nothing on underneath. ... Would you like +my cap? [Takes it off and gives it to TIHON] + +TIHON. [Looks it over] Hm. ... There are all sorts of caps. ... It +might be a sieve from the holes in it. ... + +FEDYA. [Laughs] A gentleman's cap! You've got to take it off in +front of the mam'selles. How do you do, good-bye! How are you? + +TIHON. [Returns the cap to BORTSOV] I wouldn't give anything for +it. It's muck. + +BORTSOV. If you don't like it, then let me owe you for the drink! +I'll bring in your five copecks on my way back from town. You can +take it and choke yourself with it then! Choke yourself! I hope it +sticks in your throat! [Coughs] I hate you! + +TIHON. [Banging the bar-counter with his fist] Why do you keep on +like that? What a man! What are you here for, you swindler? + +BORTSOV. I want a drink! It's not I, it's my disease! Understand +that! + +TIHON. Don't you make me lose my temper, or you'll soon find +yourself outside! + +BORTSOV. What am I to do? [Retires from the bar-counter] What am I +to do? [Is thoughtful.] + +EFIMOVNA. It's the devil tormenting you. Don't you mind him, sir. +The damned one keeps whispering, "Drink! Drink!" And you answer +him, "I shan't drink! I shan't drink!" He'll go then. + +FEDYA. It's drumming in his head. ... His stomach's leading him +on! [Laughs] Your houour's a happy man. Lie down and go to sleep! +What's the use of standing like a scarecrow in the middle of the +inn! This isn't an orchard! + +BORTSOV. [Angrily] Shut up! Nobody spoke to you, you donkey. + +FEDYA. Go on, go on! We've seen the like of you before! There's a +lot like you tramping the high road! As to being a donkey, you wait +till I've given you a clout on the ear and you'll howl worse than +the wind. Donkey yourself! Fool! [Pause] Scum! + +NAZAROVNA. The old man may be saying a prayer, or giving up his +soul to God, and here are these unclean ones wrangling with one +another and saying all sorts of ... Have shame on yourselves! + +FEDYA. Here, you cabbage-stalk, you keep quiet, even if you are in +a public-house. Just you behave like everybody else. + +BORTSOV. What am I to do? What will become of me? How can I make +him understand? What else can I say to him? [To TIHON] The blood's +boiling in my chest! Uncle Tihon! [Weeps] Uncle Tihon! + +SAWA. [Groans] I've got shooting-pains in my leg, like bullets of +fire. ... Little mother, pilgrim. + +EFIMOVNA. What is it, little father? + +SAVVA. Who's that crying? + +EFIMOVNA. The gentleman. + +SAVVA. Ask him to shed a tear for me, that I might die in Vologda. +Tearful prayers are heard. + +BORTSOV. I'm not praying, grandfather! These aren't tears! Just +juice! My soul is crushed; and the juice is running. [Sits by +SAVVA] Juice! But you wouldn't understand! You, with your darkened +brain, wouldn't understand. You people are all in the dark! + +SAVVA. Where will you find those who live in the light? + +BORTSOV. They do exist, grandfather. ... They would understand! + +SAVVA. Yes, yes, dear friend. ... The saints lived in the light. ... +They understood all our griefs. ... You needn't even tell them. ... +and they'll understand. ... Just by looking at your eyes. ... And +then you'll have such peace, as if you were never in grief at all-- +it will all go! + +FEDYA. And have you ever seen any saints? + +SAVVA. It has happened, young man. ... There are many of all sorts +on this earth. Sinners, and servants of God. + +BORTSOV. I don't understand all this. ... [Gets up quickly] What's +the use of talking when you don't understand, and what sort of a +brain have I now? I've only an instinct, a thirst! [Goes quickly to +the counter] Tihon, take my coat! Understand? [Tries to take it +off] My coat ... + +TIHON. And what is there under your coat? [Looks under it] Your +naked body? Don't take it off, I shan't have it. ... I'm not going +to burden my soul with a sin. + +[Enter MERIK.] + +BORTSOV. Very well, I'll take the sin on myself! Do you agree? + +MERIK. [In silence takes of his outer cloak and remains in a +sleeveless jacket. He carries an axe in his belt] A vagrant may +sweat where a bear will freeze. I am hot. [Puts his axe on the +floor and takes off his jacket] You get rid of a pailful of sweat +while you drag one leg out of the mud. And while you are dragging +it out, the other one goes farther in. + +EFIMOVNA. Yes, that's true ... is the rain stopping, dear? + +MERIK. [Glancing at EFIMOVNA] I don't talk to old women. [A pause.] + +BORTSOV. [To TIHON] I'll take the sin on myself. Do you hear me or +don't you? + +TIHON. I don't want to hear you, get away! + +MERIK. It's as dark as if the sky was painted with pitch. You can't +see your own nose. And the rain beats into your face like a +snowstorm! [Picks up his clothes and axe.] + +FEDYA. It's a good thing for the likes of us thieves. When the +cat's away the mice will play. + +MERIK. Who says that? + +FEDYA. Look and see ... before you forget. + +MERIN. We'll make a note of it. ... [Goes up to TIHON] How do you +do, you with the large face! Don't you remember me. + +TIHON. If I'm to remember every one of you drunkards that walks the +high road, I reckon I'd need ten holes in my forehead. + +MERIK. Just look at me. ... [A pause.] + +TIHON. Oh, yes; I remember. I knew you by your eyes! [Gives him his +hand] Andrey Polikarpov? + +MERIK. I used to be Andrey Polikarpov, but now I am Egor Merik. + +TIHON. Why's that? + +MERIK. I call myself after whatever passport God gives me. I've +been Merik for two months. [Thunder] Rrrr. ... Go on thundering, +I'm not afraid! [Looks round] Any police here? + +TIHON. What are you talking about, making mountains out of mole-hills? ... +The people here are all right ... The police are fast asleep in +their feather beds now. ... [Loudly] Orthodox brothers, mind your +pockets and your clothes, or you'll have to regret it. The man's +a rascal! He'll rob you! + +MERIK. They can look out for their money, but as to their clothes-- +I shan't touch them. I've nowhere to take them. + +TIHON. Where's the devil taking you to? + +MERIK. To Kuban. + +TIHON. My word! + +FEDYA. To Kuban? Really? [Sitting up] It's a fine place. You +wouldn't see such a country, brother, if you were to fall asleep +and dream for three years. They say the birds there, and the beasts +are--my God! The grass grows all the year round, the people are +good, and they've so much land they don't know what to do with it! +The authorities, they say ... a soldier was telling me the other +day ... give a hundred dessiatins ahead. There's happiness, God +strike me! + +MERIK. Happiness. ... Happiness goes behind you. ... You don't see +it. It's as near as your elbow is, but you can't bite it. It's all +silly. ... [Looking round at the benches and the people] Like a lot +of prisoners. ... A poor lot. + +EFIMOVNA. [To MERIK] What great, angry, eyes! There's an enemy in +you, young man. ... Don't you look at us! + +MERIK. Yes, you're a poor lot here. + +EFIMOVNA. Turn away! [Nudges SAVVA] Savva, darling, a wicked man is +looking at us. He'll do us harm, dear. [To MERIK] Turn away, I tell +you, you snake! + +SAVVA. He won't touch us, mother, he won't touch us. ... God won't +let him. + +MERIK. All right, Orthodox brothers! [Shrugs his shoulders] Be +quiet! You aren't asleep, you bandy-legged fools! Why don't you +say something? + +EFIMOVNA. Take your great eyes away! Take away that devil's own +pride! + +MERIK. Be quiet, you crooked old woman! I didn't come with the +devil's pride, but with kind words, wishing to honour your bitter +lot! You're huddled together like flies because of the cold--I'd +be sorry for you, speak kindly to you, pity your poverty, and here +you go grumbling away! [Goes up to FEDYA] Where are you from? + +FEDYA. I live in these parts. I work at the Khamonyevsky brickworks. + +MERIK. Get up. + +FEDYA. [Raising himself] Well? + +MERIK. Get up, right up. I'm going to lie down here. + +FEDYA. What's that. ... It isn't your place, is it? + +MERIK. Yes, mine. Go and lie on the ground! + +FEDYA. You get out of this, you tramp. I'm not afraid of you. + +MERIK. You're very quick with your tongue. ... Get up, and don't +talk about it! You'll be sorry for it, you silly. + +TIHON. [To FEDYA] Don't contradict him, young man. Never mind. + +FEDYA. What right have you? You stick out your fishy eyes and think +I'm afraid! [Picks up his belongings and stretches himself out on +the ground] You devil! [Lies down and covers himself all over.] + +MERIK. [Stretching himself out on the bench] I don't expect you've +ever seen a devil or you wouldn't call me one. Devils aren't like +that. [Lies down, putting his axe next to him.] Lie down, little +brother axe ... let me cover you. + +TIHON. Where did you get the axe from? + +MERIK. Stole it. ... Stole it, and now I've got to fuss over it +like a child with a new toy; I don't like to throw it away, and +I've nowhere to put it. Like a beastly wife. ... Yes. ... [Covering +himself over] Devils aren't like that, brother. + +FEDYA. [Uncovering his head] What are they like? + +MERIK. Like steam, like air. ... Just blow into the air. [Blows] +They're like that, you can't see them. + +A VOICE FROM THE CORNER. You can see them if you sit under a +harrow. + +MERIK. I've tried, but I didn't see any. ... Old women's tales, and +silly old men's, too. ... You won't see a devil or a ghost or a +corpse. ... Our eyes weren't made so that we could see everything. ... +When I was a boy, I used to walk in the woods at night on purpose +to see the demon of the woods. ... I'd shout and shout, and there +might be some spirit, I'd call for the demon of the woods and not +blink my eyes: I'd see all sorts of little things moving about, but +no demon. I used to go and walk about the churchyards at night, I +wanted to see the ghosts--but the women lie. I saw all sorts of +animals, but anything awful--not a sign. Our eyes weren't ... + +THE VOICE FROM THE CORNER. Never mind, it does happen that you do +see. ... In our village a man was gutting a wild boar ... he was +separating the tripe when ... something jumped out at him! + +SAVVA. [Raising himself] Little children, don't talk about these +unclean things! It's a sin, dears! + +MERIK. Aaa ... greybeard! You skeleton! [Laughs] You needn't go to +the churchyard to see ghosts, when they get up from under the floor +to give advice to their relations. ... A sin! ... Don't you teach +people your silly notions! You're an ignorant lot of people living +in darkness. ... [Lights his pipe] My father was peasant and used +to be fond of teaching people. One night he stole a sack of apples +from the village priest, and he brings them along and tells us, +"Look, children, mind you don't eat any apples before Easter, it's +a sin." You're like that. ... You don't know what a devil is, but +you go calling people devils. ... Take this crooked old woman, for +instance. [Points to EFIMOVNA] She sees an enemy in me, but is her +time, for some woman's nonsense or other, she's given her soul to +the devil five times. + +EFIMOVNA. Hoo, hoo, hoo. ... Gracious heavens! [Covers her face] +Little Savva! + +TIHON. What are you frightening them for? A great pleasure! [The +door slams in the wind] Lord Jesus. ... The wind, the wind! + +MERIK. [Stretching himself] Eh, to show my strength! [The door +slams again] If I could only measure myself against the wind! Shall +I tear the door down, or suppose I tear up the inn by the roots! +[Gets up and lies down again] How dull! + +NAZAROVNA. You'd better pray, you heathen! Why are you so restless? + +EFIMOVNA. Don't speak to him, leave him alone! He's looking at us +again. [To MERIK] Don't look at us, evil man! Your eyes are like +the eyes of a devil before cockcrow! + +SAVVA. Let him look, pilgrims! You pray, and his eyes won't do you +any harm. + +BORTSOV. No, I can't. It's too much for my strength! [Goes up to +the counter] Listen, Tihon, I ask you for the last time. ... Just +half a glass! + +TIHON. [Shakes his head] The money! + +BORTSOV. My God, haven't I told you! I've drunk it all! Where am I +to get it? And you won't go broke even if you do let me have a drop +of vodka on tick. A glass of it only costs you two copecks, and it +will save me from suffering! I am suffering! Understand! I'm in +misery, I'm suffering! + +TIHON. Go and tell that to someone else, not to me. ... Go and ask +the Orthodox, perhaps they'll give you some for Christ's sake, if +they feel like it, but I'll only give bread for Christ's sake. + +BORTSOV. You can rob those wretches yourself, I shan't. ... I won't +do it! I won't! Understand? [Hits the bar-counter with his fist] I +won't. [A pause.] Hm ... just wait. ... [Turns to the pilgrim +women] It's an idea, all the same, Orthodox ones! Spare five +copecks! My inside asks for it. I'm ill! + +FEDYA. Oh, you swindler, with your "spare five copecks." Won't you +have some water? + +BORTSOV. How I am degrading myself! I don't want it! I don't want +anything! I was joking! + +MERIK. You won't get it out of him, sir. ... He's a famous +skinflint. ... Wait, I've got a five-copeck piece somewhere. ... +We'll have a glass between us--half each [Searches in his pockets] +The devil ... it's lost somewhere. ... Thought I heard it tinkling +just now in my pocket. ... No; no, it isn't there, brother, it's +your luck! [A pause.] + +BORTSOV. But if I can't drink, I'll commit a crime or I'll kill +myself. ... What shall I do, my God! [Looks through the door] Shall +I go out, then? Out into this darkness, wherever my feet take me. ... + +MERIK. Why don't you give him a sermon, you pilgrims? And you, +Tihon, why don't you drive him out? He hasn't paid you for his +night's accommodation. Chuck him out! Eh, the people are cruel +nowadays. There's no gentleness or kindness in them. ... A savage +people! A man is drowning and they shout to him: "Hurry up and +drown, we've got no time to look at you; we've got to go to work." +As to throwing him a rope--there's no worry about that. ... A rope +would cost money. + +SAVVA. Don't talk, kind man! + +MERIK. Quiet, old wolf! You're a savage race! Herods! Sellers of +your souls! [To TIHON] Come here, take off my boots! Look sharp now! + +TIHON. Eh, he's let himself go I [Laughs] Awful, isn't it. + +MERIK. Go on, do as you're told! Quick now! [Pause] Do you hear me, +or don't you? Am I talking to you or the wall? [Stands up] + +TIHON. Well ... give over. + +MERIK. I want you, you fleecer, to take the boots off me, a poor +tramp. + +TIHON. Well, well ... don't get excited. Here have a glass. ... +Have a drink, now! + +MERIK. People, what do I want? Do I want him to stand me vodka, or +to take off my boots? Didn't I say it properly? [To TIHON] Didn't +you hear me rightly? I'll wait a moment, perhaps you'll hear me then. + +[There is excitement among the pilgrims and tramps, who half-raise +themselves in order to look at TIHON and MERIK. They wait in silence.] + +TIHON. The devil brought you here! [Comes out from behind the bar] +What a gentleman! Come on now. [Takes off MERIK'S boots] You child +of Cain ... + +MERIK. That's right. Put them side by side. ... Like that ... you +can go now! + +TIHON. [Returns to the bar-counter] You're too fond of being +clever. You do it again and I'll turn you out of the inn! Yes! [To +BORTSOV, who is approaching] You, again? + +BORTSOV. Look here, suppose I give you something made of gold. ... +I will give it to you. + +TIHON. What are you shaking for? Talk sense! + +BORTSOV. It may be mean and wicked on my part, but what am I to do? +I'm doing this wicked thing, not reckoning on what's to come. ... +If I was tried for it, they'd let me off. Take it, only on +condition that you return it later, when I come back from town. I +give it to you in front of these witnesses. You will be my +witnesses! [Takes a gold medallion out from the breast of his coat] +Here it is. ... I ought to take the portrait out, but I've nowhere +to put it; I'm wet all over. ... Well, take the portrait, too! Only +mind this ... don't let your fingers touch that face. ... Please ... +I was rude to you, my dear fellow, I was a fool, but forgive me and ... +don't touch it with your fingers. ... Don't look at that face with +your eyes. [Gives TIHON the medallion.] + +TIHON. [Examining it] Stolen property. ... All right, then, drink. ... +[Pours out vodka] Confound you. + +BORTSOV. Only don't you touch it ... with your fingers. [Drinks +slowly, with feverish pauses.] + +TIHON. [Opens the medallion] Hm ... a lady! ... Where did you get +hold of this? + +MERIK. Let's have a look. [Goes to the bar] Let's see. + +TIHON. [Pushes his hand away] Where are you going to? You look +somewhere else! + +FEDYA. [Gets up and comes to TIHON] I want to look too! + +[Several of the tramps, etc., approach the bar and form a group. +MERIK grips TIHON's hand firmly with both his, looks at the +portrait, in the medallion in silence. A pause.] + +MERIK. A pretty she-devil. A real lady. ... + +FEDYA. A real lady. ... Look at her cheeks, her eyes. ... Open your +hand, I can't see. Hair coming down to her waist. ... It is +lifelike! She might be going to say something. ... [Pause.] + +MERIK. It's destruction for a weak man. A woman like that gets a +hold on one and ... [Waves his hand] you're done for! + +[KUSMA'S voice is heard. "Trrr. ... Stop, you brutes!" Enter KUSMA.] + +KUSMA. There stands an inn upon my way. Shall I drive or walk past +it, say? You can pass your own father and not notice him, but you +can see an inn in the dark a hundred versts away. Make way, if you +believe in God! Hullo, there! [Planks a five-copeck piece down on +the counter] A glass of real Madeira! Quick! + +FEDYA. Oh, you devil! + +TIHON. Don't wave your arms about, or you'll hit somebody. + +KUSMA. God gave us arms to wave about. Poor sugary things, you're +half-melted. You're frightened of the rain, poor delicate things. +[Drinks.] + +EFIMOVNA. You may well get frightened, good man, if you're caught +on your way in a night like this. Now, thank God, it's all right, +there are many villages and houses where you can shelter from the +weather, but before that there weren't any. Oh, Lord, it was bad! +You walk a hundred versts, and not only isn't there a village; or a +house, but you don't even see a dry stick. So you sleep on the +ground. ... + +KUSMA. Have you been long on this earth, old woman? + +EFIMOVNA. Over seventy years, little father. + +KUSMA. Over seventy years! You'll soon come to crow's years. [Looks +at BORTSOV] And what sort of a raisin is this? [Staring at BORTSOV] +Sir! [BORTSOV recognizes KUSMA and retires in confusion to a corner +of the room, where he sits on a bench] Semyon Sergeyevitch! Is that +you, or isn't it? Eh? What are you doing in this place? It's not +the sort of place for you, is it? + +BORTSOV. Be quiet! + +MERIK. [To KUSMA] Who is it? + +KUSMA. A miserable sufferer. [Paces irritably by the counter] +Eh? In an inn, my goodness! Tattered! Drunk! I'm upset, brothers ... +upset. ... [To MERIK, in an undertone] It's my master ... our +landlord. Semyon Sergeyevitch and Mr. Bortsov. ... Have you ever +seen such a state? What does he look like? Just ... it's the drink +that brought him to this. ... Give me some more! [Drinks] I come +from his village, Bortsovka; you may have heard of it, it's 200 +versts from here, in the Ergovsky district. We used to be his +father's serfs. ... What a shame! + +MERIK. Was he rich? + +KUSMA. Very. + +MERIK. Did he drink it all? + +KUSMA. No, my friend, it was something else. ... He used to be +great and rich and sober. ... [To TIHON] Why you yourself used to +see him riding, as he used to, past this inn, on his way to the +town. Such bold and noble horses! A carriage on springs, of the +best quality! He used to own five troikas, brother. ... Five years +ago, I remember, he cam here driving two horses from Mikishinsky, +and he paid with a five-rouble piece. ... I haven't the time, he +says, to wait for the change. ... There! + +MERIK. His brain's gone, I suppose. + +KUSMA. His brain's all right. ... It all happened because of his +cowardice! From too much fat. First of all, children, because of a +woman. ... He fell in love with a woman of the town, and it seemed +to him that there wasn't any more beautiful thing in the wide +world. A fool may love as much as a wise man. The girl's people +were all right. ... But she wasn't exactly loose, but just ... +giddy ... always changing her mind! Always winking at one! Always +laughing and laughing. ... No sense at all. The gentry like that, +they think that's nice, but we moujiks would soon chuck her out. ... +Well, he fell in love, and his luck ran out. He began to keep +company with her, one thing led to another ... they used to go out +in a boat all night, and play pianos. ... + +BORTSOV. Don't tell them, Kusma! Why should you? What has my life +got to do with them? + +KUSMA. Forgive me, your honour, I'm only telling them a little ... +what does it matter, anyway. ... I'm shaking all over. Pour out +some more. [Drinks.] + +MERIK. [In a semitone] And did she love him? + +KUSMA. [In a semitone which gradually becomes his ordinary voice] +How shouldn't she? He was a man of means. ... Of course you'll fall +in love when the man has a thousand dessiatins and money to burn. ... +He was a solid, dignified, sober gentleman ... always the same, +like this ... give me your hand [Takes MERIK'S hand] "How do you do +and good-bye, do me the favour." Well, I was going one evening past +his garden--and what a garden, brother, versts of it--I was going +along quietly, and I look and see the two of them sitting on a seat +and kissing each other. [Imitates the sound] He kisses her once, +and the snake gives him back two. ... He was holding her white, +little hand, and she was all fiery and kept on getting closer and +closer, too. ... "I love you," she says. And he, like one of the +damned, walks about from one place to another and brags, the +coward, about his happiness. ... Gives one man a rouble, and two to +another. ... Gives me money for a horse. Let off everybody's debts. ... + +BORTSOV. Oh, why tell them all about it? These people haven't any +sympathy. ... It hurts! + +KUSMA. It's nothing, sir! They asked me! Why shouldn't I tell them? +But if you are angry I won't ... I won't. ... What do I care for +them. ... [Post-bells are heard.] + +FEDYA. Don't shout; tell us quietly. ... + +KUSMA. I'll tell you quietly. ... He doesn't want me to, but it +can't be helped. ... But there's nothing more to tell. They got +married, that's all. There was nothing else. Pour out another drop +for Kusma the stony! [Drinks] I don't like people getting drunk! +Why the time the wedding took place, when the gentlefolk sat down +to supper afterwards, she went off in a carriage ... [Whispers] To +the town, to her lover, a lawyer. ... Eh? What do you think of her +now? Just at the very moment! She would be let off lightly if she +were killed for it! + +MERIK. [Thoughtfully] Well ... what happened then? + +KUSMA. He went mad. ... As you see, he started with a fly, as they +say, and now it's grown to a bumble-bee. It was a fly then, and +now--it's a bumble-bee. ... And he still loves her. Look at him, he +loves her! I expect he's walking now to the town to get a glimpse +of her with one eye. ... He'll get a glimpse of her, and go back. ... + +[The post has driven up to the in.. The POSTMAN enters and has a +drink.] + +TIHON. The post's late to-day! + +[The POSTMAN pays in silence and goes out. The post drives off, the +bells ringing.] + +A VOICE FROM THE CORNER. One could rob the post in weather like +this--easy as spitting. + +MERIK. I've been alive thirty-five years and I haven't robbed the +post once. ... [Pause] It's gone now ... too late, too late. ... + +KUSMA. Do you want to smell the inside of a prison? + +MERIK. People rob and don't go to prison. And if I do go! +[Suddenly] What else? + +KUSMA. Do you mean that unfortunate? + +MERIK. Who else? + +KUSMA. The second reason, brothers, why he was ruined was because +of his brother-in-law, his sister's husband. ... He took it into +his head to stand surety at the bank for 30,000 roubles for his +brother-in-law. The brother-in-law's a thief. ... The swindler +knows which side his bread's buttered and won't budge an inch. ... +So he doesn't pay up. ... So our man had to pay up the whole thirty +thousand. [Sighs] The fool is suffering for his folly. His wife's +got children now by the lawyer and the brother-in-law has bought an +estate near Poltava, and our man goes round inns like a fool, and +complains to the likes of us: "I've lost all faith, brothers! I +can't believe in anybody now!" It's cowardly! Every man has his +grief, a snake that sucks at his heart, and does that mean that he +must drink? Take our village elder, for example. His wife plays +about with the schoolmaster in broad daylight, and spends his money +on drink, .but the elder walks about smiling to himself. He's just +a little thinner ... + +TIHON. [Sighs] When God gives a man strength. ... + +KUSMA. There's all sorts of strength, that's true. ... Well? How +much does it come to? [Pays] Take your pound of flesh! Good-bye, +children! Good-night and pleasant dreams! It's time I hurried off. +I'm bringing my lady a midwife from the hospital. ... She must be +getting wet with waiting, poor thing. ... [Runs out. A pause.] + +TIHON. Oh, you! Unhappy man, come and drink this! [Pours out.] + +BORTSOV. [Comes up to the bar hesitatingly and drinks] That means I +now owe you for two glasses. + +TIHON. You don't owe me anything? Just drink and drown your sorrows! + +FEDYA. Drink mine, too, sir! Oh! [Throws down a five-copeck piece] +If you drink, you die; if you don't drink, you die. It's good not +to drink vodka, but by God you're easier when you've got some! +Vodka takes grief away. ... It is hot! + +BORTSOV. Boo! The heat! + +MERIK. Dive it here! [Takes the medallion from TIHON and examines +her portrait] Hm. Ran off after the wedding. What a woman! + +A VOICE FROM THE CORNER. Pour him out another glass, Tihon. Let him +drink mine, too. + +MERIK. [Dashes the medallion to the ground] Curse her! [Goes +quickly to his place and lies down, face to the wall. General +excitement.] + +BORTSOV. Here, what's that? [Picks up the medallion] How dare you, +you beast? What right have you? [Tearfully] Do you want me to kill +you? You moujik! You boor! + +TIHON. Don't be angry, sir. ... It isn't glass, it isn't +broken. ... Have another drink and go to sleep. [Pours out] Here +I've been listening to you all, and when I ought to have locked up +long ago. [Goes and looks door leading out.] + +BORTSOV. [Drinks] How dare he? The fool! [to MERIK] Do you +understand? You're a fool, a donkey! + +SAVVA. Children! If you please! Stop that talking! What's the good +of making a noise? Let people go to sleep. + +TIHON. Lie down, lie down ... be quiet! [Goes behind the counter +and locks the till] It's time to sleep. + +FEDYA. It's time! [Lies down] Pleasant dreams, brothers! + +MERIK. [Gets up and spreads his short fur and coat the bench] Come +on, lie down, sir. + +TIHON. And where will you sleep. + +MERIK. Oh, anywhere. ... The floor will do. ... [Spreads a coat on +the floor] It's all one to me [Puts the axe by him] It would be +torture for him to sleep on the floor. He's used to silk and down. ... + +TIHON. [To BORTSOV] Lie down, your honour! You've looked at that +portrait long enough. [Puts out a candle] Throw it away! + +BORTSOV. [Swaying about] Where can I lie down? + +TIHON. In the tramp's place! Didn't you hear him giving it up to +you? + +BORTSOV. [Going up to the vacant place] I'm a bit ... drunk ... +after all that. ... Is this it? ... Do I lie down here? Eh? + +TIHON. Yes, yes, lie down, don't be afraid. [Stretches himself out +on the counter.] + +BORTSOV. [Lying down] I'm ... drunk. ... Everything's going round. ... +[Opens the medallion] Haven't you a little candle? [Pause] You're a +queer little woman Masha. ... Looking at me out of the frame and +laughing. ... [Laughs] I'm drunk! And should you laugh at a man +because he's drunk? You look out, as Schastlivtsev says, and ... +love the drunkard. + +FEDYA. How the wind howls. It's dreary! + +BORTSOV. [Laughs] What a woman. ... Why do you keep on going round? +I can't catch you! + +MERIK. He's wandering. Looked too long at the portrait. [Laughs] +What a business! Educated people go and invent all sorts of +machines and medicines, but there hasn't yet been a man wise enough +to invent a medicine against the female sex. ... They try to cure +every sort of disease, and it never occurs to them that more people +die of women than of disease. ... Sly, stingy, cruel, brainless. ... +The mother-in-law torments the bride and the bride makes things +square by swindling the husband ... and there's no end to it. ... + +TIHON. The women have ruffled his hair for him, and so he's +bristly. + +MERIK. It isn't only I. ... From the beginning of the ages, since +the world has been in existence, people have complained. ... It's +not for nothing that in the songs and stories, the devil and the +woman are put side by side. ... Not for nothing! It's half true, at +any rate ... [Pause] Here's the gentleman playing the fool, but I +had more sense, didn't I, when I left my father and mother, and +became a tramp? + +FEDYA. Because of women? + +MERIK. Just like the gentleman ... I walked about like one of the +damned, bewitched, blessing my stars ... on fire day and night, +until at last my eyes were opened ... It wasn't love, but just a +fraud. ... + +FEDYA. What did you do to her? + +MERIK. Never you mind. ... [Pause] Do you think I killed her? ... +I wouldn't do it. ... If you kill, you are sorry for it. ... She +can live and be happy! If only I'd never set eyes on you, or if I +could only forget you, you viper's brood! [A knocking at the door.] + +TIHON. Whom have the devils brought. ... Who's there? [Knocking] +Who knocks? [Gets up and goes to the door] Who knocks? Go away, +we've locked up! + +A VOICE. Please let me in, Tihon. The carriage-spring's broken! Be +a father to me and help me! If I only had a little string to tie it +round with, we'd get there somehow or other. + +TIHON. Who are you? + +THE VOICE. My lady is going to Varsonofyev from the town. ... It's +only five versts farther on . ... Do be a good man and help! + +TIHON. Go and tell the lady that if she pays ten roubles she can +have her string and we'll mend the spring. + +THE VOICE. Have you gone mad, or what? Ten roubles! You mad dog! +Profiting by our misfortunes! + +TIHON. Just as you like. ... You needn't if you don't want to. + +THE VOICE. Very well, wait a bit. [Pause] She says, all right. + +TIHON. Pleased to hear it! + +[Opens door. The COACHMAN enters.] + +COACHMAN. Good evening, Orthodox people! Well, give me the string! +Quick! Who'll go and help us, children? There'll be something left +over for your trouble! + +TIHON. There won't be anything left over. ... Let them sleep, the +two of us can manage. + +COACHMAN. Foo, I am tired! It's cold, and there's not a dry spot in +all the mud. ... Another thing, dear. ... Have you got a little +room in here for the lady to warm herself in? The carriage is all +on one side, she can't stay in it. ... + +TIHON. What does she want a room for? She can warm herself in here, +if she's cold. ... We'll find a place [Clears a space next to +BORTSOV] Get up, get up! Just lie on the floor for an hour, and let +the lady get warm. [To BORTSOV] Get up, your honour! Sit up! +[BORTSOV sits up] Here's a place for you. [Exit COACHMAN.] + +FEDYA. Here's a visitor for you, the devil's brought her! Now +there'll be no sleep before daylight. + +TIHON. I'm sorry I didn't ask for fifteen. ... She'd have given +them. ... [Stands expectantly before the door] You're a delicate +sort of people, I must say. [Enter MARIA EGOROVNA, followed by the +COACHMAN. TIHON bows.] Please, your highness! Our room is very +humble, full of blackbeetles! But don't disdain it! + +MARIA EGOROVNA. I can't see anything. ... Which way do I go? + +TIHON. This way, your highness! [Leads her to the place next to +BORTSOV] This way, please. [Blows on the place] I haven't any +separate rooms, excuse me, but don't you be afraid, madam, the +people here are good and quiet. ... + +MARIA EGOROVNA. [Sits next to BORTSOV] How awfully stuffy! Open the +door, at any rate! + +TIHON. Yes, madam. [Runs and opens the door wide.] + +MARIA. We're freezing, and you open the door! [Gets up and slams +it] Who are you to be giving orders? [Lies down] + +TIHON. Excuse me, your highness, but we've a little fool here ... a +bit cracked. ... But don't you be frightened, he won't do you any +harm. ... Only you must excuse me, madam, I can't do this for ten +roubles. ... Make it fifteen. + +MARIA EGOROVNA. Very well, only be quick. + +TIHON. This minute ... this very instant. [Drags some string out +from under the counter] This minute. [A pause.] + +BORTSOV. [Looking at MARIA EGOROVNA] Marie ... Masha ... + +MARIA EGOROVNA. [Looks at BORTSOV] What's this? + +BORTSOV. Marie ... is it you? Where do you come from? [MARIA +EGOROVNA recognizes BORTSOV, screams and runs off into the centre +of the floor. BORTSOV follows] Marie, it is I ... I [Laughs loudly] +My wife! Marie! Where am I? People, a light! + +MARIA EGOROVNA. Get away from me! You lie, it isn't you! It can't +be! [Covers her face with her hands] It's a lie, it's all nonsense! + +BORTSOV. Her voice, her movements. ... Marie, it is I! I'll stop in +a moment. ... I was drunk. ... My head's going round. ... My God! +Stop, stop. ... I can't understand anything. [Yells] My wife! +[Falls at her feet and sobs. A group collects around the husband +and wife.] + +MARIA EGOROVNA. Stand back! [To the COACHMAN] Denis, let's go! I +can't stop here any longer! + +MERIK. [Jumps up and looks her steadily in the face] The portrait! +[Grasps her hand] It is she! Eh, people, she's the gentleman's +wife! + +MARIA EGOROVNA. Get away, fellow! [Tries to tear her hand away from +him] Denis, why do you stand there staring? [DENIS and TIHON run up +to her and get hold of MERIK'S arms] This thieves' kitchen! Let go +my hand! I'm not afraid! ... Get away from me! + +MERIK. [Note: Throughout this speech, in the original, Merik uses +the familiar second person singular.] Wait a bit, and I'll let go. ... +Just let me say one word to you. ... One word, so that you may +understand. ... Just wait. ... [Turns to TIHON and DENIS] Get away, +you rogues, let go! I shan't let you go till I've had my say! Stop ... +one moment. [Strikes his forehead with his fist] No, God hasn't +given me the wisdom! I can't think of the word for you! + +MARIA EGOROVNA. [Tears away her hand] Get away! Drunkards ... let's +go, Denis! + +[She tries to go out, but MERIK blocks the door.] + +MERIK. Just throw a glance at him, with only one eye if you like! +Or say only just one kind little word to him! God's own sake! + +MARIA EGOROVNA. Take away this ... fool. + +MERIK. Then the devil take you, you accursed woman! + +[He swings his axe. General confusion. Everybody jumps up noisily +and with cries of horror. SAVVA stands between MERIK and MARIA +EGOROVNA. ... DENIS forces MERIK to one side and carries out his +mistress. After this all stand as if turned to stone. A prolonged +pause. BORTSOV suddenly waves his hands in the air.] + +BORTSOV. Marie ... where are you, Marie! + +NAZAROVNA. My God, my God! You've torn up my your murderers! What +an accursed night! + +MERIK. [Lowering his hand; he still holds the axe] Did I kill her +or no? + + HIGH ROAD + +TIHON. Thank God, your head is safe. ... + +MERIK. Then I didn't kill her. ... [Totters to his bed] Fate hasn't +sent me to my death because of a stolen axe. ... [Falls down and +sobs] Woe! Woe is me! Have pity on me, Orthodox people! + +Curtain. + + + +THE PROPOSAL + +CHARACTERS + +STEPAN STEPANOVITCH CHUBUKOV, a landowner +NATALYA STEPANOVNA, his daughter, twenty-five years old +IVAN VASSILEVITCH LOMOV, a neighbour of Chubukov, a large and +hearty, but very suspicious landowner + +The scene is laid at CHUBUKOV's country-house + +THE PROPOSAL + +A drawing-room in CHUBUKOV'S house. + +[LOMOV enters, wearing a dress-jacket and white gloves. CHUBUKOV +rises to meet him.] + +CHUBUKOV. My dear fellow, whom do I see! Ivan Vassilevitch! I am +extremely glad! [Squeezes his hand] Now this is a surprise, my +darling ... How are you? + +LOMOV. Thank you. And how may you be getting on? + +CHUBUKOV. We just get along somehow, my angel, to your prayers, and +so on. Sit down, please do. ... Now, you know, you shouldn't forget +all about your neighbours, my darling. My dear fellow, why are you +so formal in your get-up? Evening dress, gloves, and so on. Can you +be going anywhere, my treasure? + +LOMOV. No, I've come only to see you, honoured Stepan Stepanovitch. + +CHUBUKOV. Then why are you in evening dress, my precious? As if +you're paying a New Year's Eve visit! + +LOMOV. Well, you see, it's like this. [Takes his arm] I've come to +you, honoured Stepan Stepanovitch, to trouble you with a request. +Not once or twice have I already had the privilege of applying to +you for help, and you have always, so to speak ... I must ask your +pardon, I am getting excited. I shall drink some water, honoured +Stepan Stepanovitch. [Drinks.] + +CHUBUKOV. [Aside] He's come to borrow money! Shan't give him any! +[Aloud] What is it, my beauty? + +LOMOV. You see, Honour Stepanitch ... I beg pardon, Stepan +Honouritch ... I mean, I'm awfully excited, as you will please +notice. ... In short, you alone can help me, though I don't deserve +it, of course ... and haven't any right to count on your +assistance. ... + +CHUBUKOV. Oh, don't go round and round it, darling! Spit it out! +Well? + +LOMOV. One moment ... this very minute. The fact is, I've come to +ask the hand of your daughter, Natalya Stepanovna, in marriage. + +CHUBUKOV. [Joyfully] By Jove! Ivan Vassilevitch! Say it again--I +didn't hear it all! + +LOMOV. I have the honour to ask ... + +CHUBUKOV. [Interrupting] My dear fellow ... I'm so glad, and so on. ... +Yes, indeed, and all that sort of thing. [Embraces and kisses +LOMOV] I've been hoping for it for a long time. It's been my +continual desire. [Sheds a tear] And I've always loved you, my +angel, as if you were my own son. May God give you both His help +and His love and so on, and I did so much hope ... What am I +behaving in this idiotic way for? I'm off my balance with joy, +absolutely off my balance! Oh, with all my soul ... I'll go and +call Natasha, and all that. + +LOMOV. [Greatly moved] Honoured Stepan Stepanovitch, do you think I +may count on her consent? + +CHUBUKOV. Why, of course, my darling, and ... as if she won't +consent! She's in love; egad, she's like a love-sick cat, and so +on. ... Shan't be long! [Exit.] + +LOMOV. It's cold ... I'm trembling all over, just as if I'd got an +examination before me. The great thing is, I must have my mind made +up. If I give myself time to think, to hesitate, to talk a lot, to +look for an ideal, or for real love, then I'll never get married. ... +Brr! ... It's cold! Natalya Stepanovna is an excellent housekeeper, +not bad-looking, well-educated. ... What more do I want? But I'm +getting a noise in my ears from excitement. [Drinks] And it's +impossible for me not to marry. ... In the first place, I'm already +35--a critical age, so to speak. In the second place, I ought to +lead a quiet and regular life. ... I suffer from palpitations, I'm +excitable and always getting awfully upset. ... At this very moment +my lips are trembling, and there's a twitch in my right eyebrow. ... +But the very worst of all is the way I sleep. I no sooner get into +bed and begin to go off when suddenly something in my left side-- +gives a pull, and I can feel it in my shoulder and head. ... I jump +up like a lunatic, walk about a bit, and lie down again, but as +soon as I begin to get off to sleep there's another pull! And this +may happen twenty times. ... + +[NATALYA STEPANOVNA comes in.] + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. Well, there! It's you, and papa said, "Go; +there's a merchant come for his goods." How do you do, Ivan +Vassilevitch! + +LOMOV. How do you do, honoured Natalya Stepanovna? + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. You must excuse my apron and nlig ... we're +shelling peas for drying. Why haven't you been here for such a long +time? Sit down. [They seat themselves] Won't you have some lunch? + +LOMOV. No, thank you, I've had some already. + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. Then smoke. ... Here are the matches. ... The +weather is splendid now, but yesterday it was so wet that the +workmen didn't do anything all day. How much hay have you stacked? +Just think, I felt greedy and had a whole field cut, and now I'm +not at all pleased about it because I'm afraid my hay may rot. I +ought to have waited a bit. But what's this? Why, you're in evening +dress! Well, I never! Are you going to a ball, or what?--though I +must say you look better. Tell me, why are you got up like that? + +LOMOV. [Excited] You see, honoured Natalya Stepanovna ... the fact +is, I've made up my mind to ask you to hear me out. ... Of course +you'll be surprised and perhaps even angry, but a ... [Aside] It's +awfully cold! + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. What's the matter? [Pause] Well? + +LOMOV. I shall try to be brief. You must know, honoured Natalya +Stepanovna, that I have long, since my childhood, in fact, had the +privilege of knowing your family. My late aunt and her husband, +from whom, as you know, I inherited my land, always had the +greatest respect for your father and your late mother. The Lomovs +and the Chubukovs have always had the most friendly, and I might +almost say the most affectionate, regard for each other. And, as +you know, my land is a near neighbour of yours. You will remember +that my Oxen Meadows touch your birchwoods. + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. Excuse my interrupting you. You say, "my Oxen +Meadows. ..." But are they yours? + +LOMOV. Yes, mine. + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. What are you talking about? Oxen Meadows are +ours, not yours! + +LOMOV. No, mine, honoured Natalya Stepanovna. + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. Well, I never knew that before. How do you make +that out? + +LOMOV. How? I'm speaking of those Oxen Meadows which are wedged in +between your birchwoods and the Burnt Marsh. + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. Yes, yes. ... They're ours. + +LOMOV. No, you're mistaken, honoured Natalya Stepanovna, they're +mine. + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. Just think, Ivan Vassilevitch! How long have +they been yours? + +LOMOV. How long? As long as I can remember. + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. Really, you won't get me to believe that! + +LOMOV. But you can see from the documents, honoured Natalya +Stepanovna. Oxen Meadows, it's true, were once the subject of +dispute, but now everybody knows that they are mine. There's +nothing to argue about. You see, my aunt's grandmother gave the +free use of these Meadows in perpetuity to the peasants of your +father's grandfather, in return for which they were to make bricks +for her. The peasants belonging to your father's grandfather had +the free use of the Meadows for forty years, and had got into the +habit of regarding them as their own, when it happened that ... + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. No, it isn't at all like that! Both my +grandfather and great-grandfather reckoned that their land extended +to Burnt Marsh--which means that Oxen Meadows were ours. I don't +see what there is to argue about. It's simply silly! + +LOMOV. I'll show you the documents, Natalya Stepanovna! + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. No, you're simply joking, or making fun of me. ... +What a surprise! We've had the land for nearly three hundred years, +and then we're suddenly told that it isn't ours! Ivan Vassilevitch, +I can hardly believe my own ears. ... These Meadows aren't worth much +to me. They only come to five dessiatins [Note: 13.5 acres], and are +worth perhaps 300 roubles [Note: 30.], but I can't stand unfairness. +Say what you will, but I can't stand unfairness. + +LOMOV. Hear me out, I implore you! The peasants of your father's +grandfather, as I have already had the honour of explaining to you, +used to bake bricks for my aunt's grandmother. Now my aunt's +grandmother, wishing to make them a pleasant ... + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. I can't make head or tail of all this about +aunts and grandfathers and grandmothers! The Meadows are ours, and +that's all. + +LOMOV. Mine. + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. Ours! You can go on proving it for two days on +end, you can go and put on fifteen dress-jackets, but I tell you +they're ours, ours, ours! I don't want anything of yours and I +don't want to give up anything of mine. So there! + +LOMOV. Natalya Ivanovna, I don't want the Meadows, but I am acting +on principle. If you like, I'll make you a present of them. + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. I can make you a present of them myself, +because they're mine! Your behaviour, Ivan Vassilevitch, is +strange, to say the least! Up to this we have always thought of you +as a good neighbour, a friend: last year we lent you our +threshing-machine, although on that account we had to put off our +own threshing till November, but you behave to us as if we were +gipsies. Giving me my own land, indeed! No, really, that's not at +all neighbourly! In my opinion, it's even impudent, if you want to +know. ... + +LOMOV. Then you make out that I'm a land-grabber? Madam, never in +my life have I grabbed anybody else's land, and I shan't allow +anybody to accuse me of having done so. ... [Quickly steps to the +carafe and drinks more water] Oxen Meadows are mine! + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. It's not true, they're ours! + +LOMOV. Mine! + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. It's not true! I'll prove it! I'll send my +mowers out to the Meadows this very day! + +LOMOV. What? + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. My mowers will be there this very day! + +LOMOV. I'll give it to them in the neck! + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. You dare! + +LOMOV. [Clutches at his heart] Oxen Meadows are mine! You +understand? Mine! + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. Please don't shout! You can shout yourself +hoarse in your own house, but here I must ask you to restrain +yourself! + +LOMOV. If it wasn't, madam, for this awful, excruciating +palpitation, if my whole inside wasn't upset, I'd talk to you in a +different way! [Yells] Oxen Meadows are mine! + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. Ours! + +LOMOV. Mine! + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. Ours! + +LOMOV. Mine! + +[Enter CHUBUKOV.] + +CHUBUKOV. What's the matter? What are you shouting at? + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. Papa, please tell to this gentleman who owns +Oxen Meadows, we or he? + +CHUBUKOV. [To LOMOV] Darling, the Meadows are ours! + +LOMOV. But, please, Stepan Stepanitch, how can they be yours? Do be +a reasonable man! My aunt's grandmother gave the Meadows for the +temporary and free use of your grandfather's peasants. The peasants +used the land for forty years and got as accustomed to it as if it +was their own, when it happened that ... + +CHUBUKOV. Excuse me, my precious. ... You forget just this, that +the peasants didn't pay your grandmother and all that, because the +Meadows were in dispute, and so on. And now everybody knows that +they're ours. It means that you haven't seen the plan. + +LOMOV. I'll prove to you that they're mine! + +CHUBUKOV. You won't prove it, my darling. + +LOMOV. I shall! + +CHUBUKOV. Dear one, why yell like that? You won't prove anything +just by yelling. I don't want anything of yours, and don't intend +to give up what I have. Why should I? And you know, my beloved, +that if you propose to go on arguing about it, I'd much sooner give +up the meadows to the peasants than to you. There! + +LOMOV. I don't understand! How have you the right to give away +somebody else's property? + +CHUBUKOV. You may take it that I know whether I have the right or +not. Because, young man, I'm not used to being spoken to in that +tone of voice, and so on: I, young man, am twice your age, and ask +you to speak to me without agitating yourself, and all that. + +LOMOV. No, you just think I'm a fool and want to have me on! You +call my land yours, and then you want me to talk to you calmly and +politely! Good neighbours don't behave like that, Stepan +Stepanitch! You're not a neighbour, you're a grabber! + +CHUBUKOV. What's that? What did you say? + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. Papa, send the mowers out to the Meadows at +once! + +CHUBUKOV. What did you say, sir? + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. Oxen Meadows are ours, and I shan't give them +up, shan't give them up, shan't give them up! + +LOMOV. We'll see! I'll have the matter taken to court, and then +I'll show you! + +CHUBUKOV. To court? You can take it to court, and all that! You +can! I know you; you're just on the look-out for a chance to go to +court, and all that. ... You pettifogger! All your people were like +that! All of them! + +LOMOV. Never mind about my people! The Lomovs have all been honourable +people, and not one has ever been tried for embezzlement, like +your grandfather! + +CHUBUKOV. You Lomovs have had lunacy in your family, all of you! + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. All, all, all! + +CHUBUKOV. Your grandfather was a drunkard, and your younger aunt, +Nastasya Mihailovna, ran away with an architect, and so on. + +LOMOV. And your mother was hump-backed. [Clutches at his heart] +Something pulling in my side. ... My head. ... Help! Water! + +CHUBUKOV. Your father was a guzzling gambler! + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. And there haven't been many backbiters to equal +your aunt! + +LOMOV. My left foot has gone to sleep. ... You're an intriguer. ... +Oh, my heart! ... And it's an open secret that before the last +elections you bri ... I can see stars. ... Where's my hat? + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. It's low! It's dishonest! It's mean! + +CHUBUKOV. And you're just a malicious, double-faced intriguer! Yes! + +LOMOV. Here's my hat. ... My heart! ... Which way? Where's the +door? Oh! ... I think I'm dying. ... My foot's quite numb. ... +[Goes to the door.] + +CHUBUKOV. [Following him] And don't set foot in my house again! + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. Take it to court! We'll see! + +[LOMOV staggers out.] + +CHUBUKOV. Devil take him! [Walks about in excitement.] + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. What a rascal! What trust can one have in one's +neighbours after that! + +CHUBUKOV. The villain! The scarecrow! + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. The monster! First he takes our land and then +he has the impudence to abuse us. + +CHUBUKOV. And that blind hen, yes, that turnip-ghost has the +confounded cheek to make a proposal, and so on! What? A proposal! + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. What proposal? + +CHUBUKOV. Why, he came here so as to propose to you. + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. To propose? To me? Why didn't you tell me so +before? + +CHUBUKOV. So he dresses up in evening clothes. The stuffed sausage! +The wizen-faced frump! + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. To propose to me? Ah! [Falls into an easy-chair +and wails] Bring him back! Back! Ah! Bring him here. + +CHUBUKOV. Bring whom here? + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. Quick, quick! I'm ill! Fetch him! [Hysterics.] + +CHUBUKOV. What's that? What's the matter with you? [Clutches at his +head] Oh, unhappy man that I am! I'll shoot myself! I'll hang +myself! We've done for her! + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. I'm dying! Fetch him! + +CHUBUKOV. Tfoo! At once. Don't yell! + +[Runs out. A pause. NATALYA STEPANOVNA wails.] + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. What have they done to me! Fetch him back! +Fetch him! [A pause.] + +[CHUBUKOV runs in.] + +CHUBUKOV. He's coming, and so on, devil take him! Ouf! Talk to him +yourself; I don't want to. ... + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. [Wails] Fetch him! + +CHUBUKOV. [Yells] He's coming, I tell you. Oh, what a burden, Lord, +to be the father of a grown-up daughter! I'll cut my throat! I +will, indeed! We cursed him, abused him, drove him out, and it's +all you ... you! + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. No, it was you! + +CHUBUKOV. I tell you it's not my fault. [LOMOV appears at the door] +Now you talk to him yourself [Exit.] + +[LOMOV enters, exhausted.] + +LOMOV. My heart's palpitating awfully. ... My foot's gone to sleep. ... +There's something keeps pulling in my side. + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. Forgive us, Ivan Vassilevitch, we were all a +little heated. ... I remember now: Oxen Meadows really are yours. + +LOMOV. My heart's beating awfully. ... My Meadows. ... My eyebrows +are both twitching. ... + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. The Meadows are yours, yes, yours. ... Do sit +down. ... [They sit] We were wrong. ... + +LOMOV. I did it on principle. ... My land is worth little to me, +but the principle ... + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. Yes, the principle, just so. ... Now let's talk +of something else. + +LOMOV. The more so as I have evidence. My aunt's grandmother gave +the land to your father's grandfather's peasants ... + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. Yes, yes, let that pass. ... [Aside] I wish I +knew how to get him started. ... [Aloud] Are you going to start +shooting soon? + +LOMOV. I'm thinking of having a go at the blackcock, honoured +Natalya Stepanovna, after the harvest. Oh, have you heard? Just +think, what a misfortune I've had! My dog Guess, whom you know, has +gone lame. + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. What a pity! Why? + +LOMOV. I don't know. ... Must have got twisted, or bitten by some +other dog. ... [Sighs] My very best dog, to say nothing of the +expense. I gave Mironov 125 roubles for him. + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. It was too much, Ivan Vassilevitch. + +LOMOV. I think it was very cheap. He's a first-rate dog. + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. Papa gave 85 roubles for his Squeezer, and +Squeezer is heaps better than Guess! + +LOMOV. Squeezer better than. Guess? What an idea! [Laughs] Squeezer +better than Guess! + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. Of course he's better! Of course, Squeezer is +young, he may develop a bit, but on points and pedigree he's better +than anything that even Volchanetsky has got. + +LOMOV. Excuse me, Natalya Stepanovna, but you forget that he is +overshot, and an overshot always means the dog is a bad hunter! + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. Overshot, is he? The first time I hear it! + +LOMOV. I assure you that his lower jaw is shorter than the upper. + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. Have you measured? + +LOMOV. Yes. He's all right at following, of course, but if you want +him to get hold of anything ... + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. In the first place, our Squeezer is a +thoroughbred animal, the son of Harness and Chisels, while there's +no getting at the pedigree of your dog at all. ... He's old and as +ugly as a worn-out cab-horse. + +LOMOV. He is old, but I wouldn't take five Squeezers for him. ... +Why, how can you? ... Guess is a dog; as for Squeezer, well, it's +too funny to argue. ... Anybody you like has a dog as good as +Squeezer ... you may find them under every bush almost. Twenty-five +roubles would be a handsome price to pay for him. + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. There's some demon of contradiction in you +to-day, Ivan Vassilevitch. First you pretend that the Meadows are +yours; now, that Guess is better than Squeezer. I don't like people +who don't say what they mean, because you know perfectly well that +Squeezer is a hundred times better than your silly Guess. Why do +you want to say it isn't? + +LOMOV. I see, Natalya Stepanovna, that you consider me either blind +or a fool. You must realize that Squeezer is overshot! + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. It's not true. + +LOMOV. He is! + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. It's not true! + +LOMOV. Why shout, madam? + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. Why talk rot? It's awful! It's time your Guess +was shot, and you compare him with Squeezer! + +LOMOV. Excuse me; I cannot continue this discussion: my heart is +palpitating. + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. I've noticed that those hunters argue most who +know least. + +LOMOV. Madam, please be silent. ... My heart is going to pieces. ... +[Shouts] Shut up! + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. I shan't shut up until you acknowledge that +Squeezer is a hundred times better than your Guess! + +LOMOV. A hundred times worse! Be hanged to your Squeezer! His +head ... eyes ... shoulder ... + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. There's no need to hang your silly Guess; he's +half-dead already! + +LOMOV. [Weeps] Shut up! My heart's bursting! + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. I shan't shut up. + +[Enter CHUBUKOV.] + +CHUBUKOV. What's the matter now? + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. Papa, tell us truly, which is the better dog, +our Squeezer or his Guess. + +LOMOV. Stepan Stepanovitch, I implore you to tell me just one +thing: is your Squeezer overshot or not? Yes or no? + +CHUBUKOV. And suppose he is? What does it matter? He's the best dog +in the district for all that, and so on. + +LOMOV. But isn't my Guess better? Really, now? + +CHUBUKOV. Don't excite yourself, my precious one. ... Allow me. ... +Your Guess certainly has his good points. ... He's pure-bred, firm +on his feet, has well-sprung ribs, and all that. But, my dear man, +if you want to know the truth, that dog has two defects: he's old +and he's short in the muzzle. + +LOMOV. Excuse me, my heart. ... Let's take the facts. ... You will +remember that on the Marusinsky hunt my Guess ran neck-and-neck +with the Count's dog, while your Squeezer was left a whole verst +behind. + +CHUBUKOV. He got left behind because the Count's whipper-in hit him +with his whip. + +LOMOV. And with good reason. The dogs are running after a fox, when +Squeezer goes and starts worrying a sheep! + +CHUBUKOV. It's not true! ... My dear fellow, I'm very liable to +lose my temper, and so, just because of that, let's stop arguing. +You started because everybody is always jealous of everybody else's +dogs. Yes, we're all like that! You too, sir, aren't blameless! You +no sooner notice that some dog is better than your Guess than you +begin with this, that ... and the other ... and all that. ... I +remember everything! + +LOMOV. I remember too! + +CHUBUKOV. [Teasing him] I remember, too. ... What do you remember? + +LOMOV. My heart ... my foot's gone to sleep. ... I can't ... + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. [Teasing] My heart. ... What sort of a hunter +are you? You ought to go and lie on the kitchen oven and catch +blackbeetles, not go after foxes! My heart! + +CHUBUKOV. Yes really, what sort of a hunter are you, anyway? You +ought to sit at home with your palpitations, and not go tracking +animals. You could go hunting, but you only go to argue with people +and interfere with their dogs and so on. Let's change the subject +in case I lose my temper. You're not a hunter at all, anyway! + +LOMOV. And are you a hunter? You only go hunting to get in with the +Count and to intrigue. ... Oh, my heart! ... You're an intriguer! + +CHUBUKOV. What? I an intriguer? [Shouts] Shut up! + +LOMOV. Intriguer! + +CHUBUKOV. Boy! Pup! + +LOMOV. Old rat! Jesuit! + +CHUBUKOV. Shut up or I'll shoot you like a partridge! You fool! + +LOMOV. Everybody knows that--oh my heart!--your late wife used to +beat you. ... My feet ... temples ... sparks. ... I fall, I fall! + +CHUBUKOV. And you're under the slipper of your housekeeper! + +LOMOV. There, there, there ... my heart's burst! My shoulder's come +off. ... Where is my shoulder? I die. [Falls into an armchair] A +doctor! [Faints.] + +CHUBUKOV. Boy! Milksop! Fool! I'm sick! [Drinks water] Sick! + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. What sort of a hunter are you? You can't even sit +on a horse! [To her father] Papa, what's the matter with him? Papa! +Look, papa! [Screams] Ivan Vassilevitch! He's dead! + +CHUBUKOV. I'm sick! ... I can't breathe! ... Air! + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. He's dead. [Pulls LOMOV'S sleeve] Ivan Vassilevitch! +Ivan Vassilevitch! What have you done to me? He's dead. [Falls into +an armchair] A doctor, a doctor! [Hysterics.] + +CHUBUKOV. Oh! ... What is it? What's the matter? + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. [Wails] He's dead ... dead! + +CHUBUKOV. Who's dead? [Looks at LOMOV] So he is! My word! Water! A +doctor! [Lifts a tumbler to LOMOV'S mouth] Drink this! ... No, he +doesn't drink. ... It means he's dead, and all that. ... I'm the most +unhappy of men! Why don't I put a bullet into my brain? Why haven't I +cut my throat yet? What am I waiting for? Give me a knife! Give me a +pistol! [LOMOV moves] He seems to be coming round. ... Drink some water! +That's right. ... + +LOMOV. I see stars ... mist. ... Where am I? + +CHUBUKOV. Hurry up and get married and--well, to the devil with you! +She's willing! [He puts LOMOV'S hand into his daughter's] She's willing +and all that. I give you my blessing and so on. Only leave me in peace! + +LOMOV. [Getting up] Eh? What? To whom? + +CHUBUKOV. She's willing! Well? Kiss and be damned to you! + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. [Wails] He's alive. . . Yes, yes, I'm willing. ... + +CHUBUKOV. Kiss each other! + +LOMOV. Eh? Kiss whom? [They kiss] Very nice, too. Excuse me, what's +it all about? Oh, now I understand ... my heart ... stars ... I'm happy. +Natalya Stepanovna. ... [Kisses her hand] My foot's gone to sleep. ... + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. I ... I'm happy too. ... + +CHUBUKOV. What a weight off my shoulders. ... Ouf! + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. But ... still you will admit now that Guess is +worse than Squeezer. + +LOMOV. Better! + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. Worse! + +CHUBUKOV. Well, that's a way to start your family bliss! Have some +champagne! + +LOMOV. He's better! + +NATALYA STEPANOVNA. Worse! worse! worse! + +CHUBUKOV. [Trying to shout her down] Champagne! Champagne! + +Curtain. + + + +THE WEDDING + + +CHARACTERS + +EVDOKIM ZAHAROVITCH ZHIGALOV, a retired Civil Servant. +NASTASYA TIMOFEYEVNA, his wife +DASHENKA, their daughter +EPAMINOND MAXIMOVITCH APLOMBOV, Dashenka's bridegroom +FYODOR YAKOVLEVITCH REVUNOV-KARAULOV, a retired captain +ANDREY ANDREYEVITCH NUNIN, an insurance agent +ANNA MARTINOVNA ZMEYUKINA, a midwife, aged 30, in a brilliantly red dress +IVAN MIHAILOVITCH YATS, a telegraphist +HARLAMPI SPIRIDONOVITCH DIMBA, a Greek confectioner +DMITRI STEPANOVITCH MOZGOVOY, a sailor of the Imperial Navy (Volunteer +Fleet) +GROOMSMEN, GENTLEMEN, WAITERS, ETC. + +The scene is laid in one of the rooms of Andronov's Restaurant + + +THE WEDDING + + +[A brilliantly illuminated room. A large table, laid for supper. +Waiters in dress-jackets are fussing round the table. An orchestra +behind the scene is playing the music of the last figure of a +quadrille.] + +[ANNA MARTINOVNA ZMEYUKINA, YATS, and a GROOMSMAN cross the stage.] + +ZMEYUKINA. No, no, no! + +YATS. [Following her] Have pity on us! Have pity! + +ZMEYUKINA. No, no, no! + +GROOMSMAN. [Chasing them] You can't go on like this! Where are you +off to? What about the _grand ronde? Grand ronde, s'il vous plait_! +[They all go off.] + +[Enter NASTASYA TIMOFEYEVNA and APLOMBOV.] + +NASTASYA TIMOFEYEVNA. You had much better be dancing than upsetting +me with your speeches. + +APLOMBOV. I'm not a Spinosa or anybody of that sort, to go making +figures-of-eight with my legs. I am a serious man, and I have a +character, and I see no amusement in empty pleasures. But it isn't +just a matter of dances. You must excuse me, maman, but there is a +good deal in your behaviour which I am unable to understand. For +instance, in addition to objects of domestic importance, you +promised also to give me, with your daughter, two lottery tickets. +Where are they? + +NASTASYA TIMOFEYEVNA. My head's aching a little ... I expect it's +on account of the weather. ... If only it thawed! + +APLOMBOV. You won't get out of it like that. I only found out to-day +that those tickets are in pawn. You must excuse me, _maman_, but +it's only swindlers who behave like that. I'm not doing this out of +egoisticism [Note: So in the original]--I don't want your tickets-- +but on principle; and I don't allow myself to be done by anybody. I +have made your daughter happy, and if you don't give me the tickets +to-day I'll make short work of her. I'm an honourable man! + +NASTASYA TIMOFEYEVNA. [Looks round the table and counts up the +covers] One, two, three, four, five ... + +A WAITER. The cook asks if you would like the ices served with rum, +madeira, or by themselves? + +APLOMBOV. With rum. And tell the manager that there's not enough +wine. Tell him to prepare some more Haut Sauterne. [To NASTASYA +TIMOFEYEVNA] You also promised and agreed that a general was to be +here to supper. And where is he? + +NASTASYA TIMOFEYEVNA. That isn't my fault, my dear. + +APLOMBOV. Whose fault, then? + +NASTASYA TIMOFEYEVNA. It's Andrey Andreyevitch's fault. ... +Yesterday he came to see us and promised to bring a perfectly real +general. [Sighs] I suppose he couldn't find one anywhere, or he'd +have brought him. ... You think we don't mind? We'd begrudge our +child nothing. A general, of course ... + +APLOMBOV. But there's more. ... Everybody, including yourself, +_maman_, is aware of the fact that Yats, that telegraphist, was +after Dashenka before I proposed to her. Why did you invite him? +Surely you knew it would be unpleasant for me? + +NASTASYA TIMOFEYEVNA. Oh, how can you? Epaminond Maximovitch was +married himself only the other day, and you've already tired me and +Dashenka out with your talk. What will you be like in a year's +time? You are horrid, really horrid. + +APLOMBOV. Then you don't like to hear the truth? Aha! Oh, oh! Then +behave honourably. I only want you to do one thing, be honourable! + +[Couples dancing the _grand ronde_ come in at one door and out at +the other end. The first couple are DASHENKA with one of the +GROOMSMEN. The last are YATS and ZMEYUKINA. These two remain +behind. ZHIGALOV and DIMBA enter and go up to the table.] + +GROOMSMAN. [Shouting] Promenade! Messieurs, promenade! [Behind] +Promenade! + +[The dancers have all left the scene.] + +YATS. [To ZMEYUKINA] Have pity! Have pity, adorable Anna +Martinovna. + +ZMEYUKINA. Oh, what a man! ... I've already told you that I've no +voice to-day. + +YATS. I implore you to sing! Just one note! Have pity! Just one +note! + +ZMEYUKINA. I'm tired of you. ... [Sits and fans herself.] + +YATS. No, you're simply heartless! To be so cruel--if I may express +myself--and to have such a beautiful, beautiful voice! With such a +voice, if you will forgive my using the word, you shouldn't be a +midwife, but sing at concerts, at public gatherings! For example, +how divinely you do that _fioritura_ ... that ... [Sings] "I loved +you; love was vain then. ..." Exquisite! + +ZMEYUKINA. [Sings] "I loved you, and may love again." Is that it? + +YATS. That's it! Beautiful! + +ZMEYUKINA. No, I've no voice to-day. ... There, wave this fan for +me ... it's hot! [To APLOMBOV] Epaminond Maximovitch, why are you +so melancholy? A bridegroom shouldn't be! Aren't you ashamed of +yourself, you wretch? Well, what are you so thoughtful about? + +APLOMBOV. Marriage is a serious step! Everything must be considered +from all sides, thoroughly. + +ZMEYUKINA. What beastly sceptics you all are! I feel quite +suffocated with you all around. ... Give me atmosphere! Do you +hear? Give me atmosphere! [Sings a few notes.] + +YATS. Beautiful! Beautiful! + +ZMEYUKINA. Fan me, fan me, or I feel I shall have a heart attack in +a minute. Tell me, please, why do I feel so suffocated? + +YATS. It's because you're sweating. ... + +ZMEYUKINA. Foo, how vulgar you are! Don't dare to use such words! + +YATS. Beg pardon! Of course, you're used, if I may say so, to +aristocratic society and. ... + +ZMEYUKINA. Oh, leave me alone! Give me poetry, delight! Fan me, fan +me! + +ZHIGALOV. [To DIMBA] Let's have another, what? [Pours out] One can +always drink. So long only, Harlampi Spiridonovitch, as one doesn't +forget one's business. Drink and be merry. ... And if you can drink +at somebody else's expense, then why not drink? You can drink. ... +Your health! [They drink] And do you have tigers in Greece? + +DIMBA. Yes. + +ZHIGALOV. And lions? + +DIMBA. And lions too. In Russia zere's nussing, and in Greece +zere's everysing--my fazer and uncle and brozeres--and here zere's +nussing. + +ZHIGALOV. H'm. ... And are there whales in Greece? + +DIMBA. Yes, everysing. + +NASTASYA TIMOFEYEVNA. [To her husband] What are they all eating and +drinking like that for? It's time for everybody to sit down to +supper. Don't keep on shoving your fork into the lobsters. ... +They're for the general. He may come yet. ... + +ZHIGALOV. And are there lobsters in Greece? + +DIMBA. Yes ... zere is everysing. + +ZHIGALOV. Hm. ... And Civil Servants. + +ZMEYUKINA. I can imagine what the atmosphere is like in Greece! + +ZHIGALOV. There must be a lot of swindling. The Greeks are just +like the Armenians or gipsies. They sell you a sponge or a goldfish +and all the time they are looking out for a chance of getting +something extra out of you. Let's have another, what? + +NASTASYA TIMOFEYEVNA. What do you want to go on having another for? +It's time everybody sat down to supper. It's past eleven. + +ZHIGALOV. If it's time, then it's time. Ladies and gentlemen, +please! [Shouts] Supper! Young people! + +NASTASYA TIMOFEYEVNA. Dear visitors, please be seated! + +ZMEYUKINA. [Sitting down at the table] Give me poetry. + "And he, the rebel, seeks the storm, + As if the storm can give him peace." +Give me the storm! + +YATS. [Aside] Wonderful woman! I'm in love! Up to my ears! + +[Enter DASHENKA, MOZGOVOY, GROOMSMEN, various ladies and gentlemen, +etc. They all noisily seat themselves at the table. There is a +minute's pause, while the band plays a march.] + +MOZGOVOY. [Rising] Ladies and gentlemen! I must tell you this. ... +We are going to have a great many toasts and speeches. Don't let's +wait, but begin at once. Ladies and gentlemen, the newly married! + +[The band plays a flourish. Cheers. Glasses are touched. APLOMBOV +and DASHENKA kiss each other.] + +YATS. Beautiful! Beautiful! I must say, ladies and gentlemen, +giving honour where it is due, that this room and the accommodation +generally are splendid! Excellent, wonderful! Only you know, +there's one thing we haven't got--electric light, if I may say so! +Into every country electric light has already been introduced, only +Russia lags behind. + +ZHIGALOV. [Meditatively] Electricity ... h'm. ... In my opinion +electric lighting is just a swindle. ... They put a live coal in +and think you don't see them! No, if you want a light, then you +don't take a coal, but something real, something special, that you +can get hold of! You must have a fire, you understand, which is +natural, not just an invention! + +YATS. If you'd ever seen an electric battery, and how it's made up, +you'd think differently. + +ZHIGALOV. Don't want to see one. It's a swindle, a fraud on the +public. ... They want to squeeze our last breath out of us. ... We +know then, these ... And, young man, instead of defending a +swindle, you would be much better occupied if you had another +yourself and poured out some for other people--yes! + +APLOMBOV. I entirely agree with you, papa. Why start a learned +discussion? I myself have no objection to talking about every +possible scientific discovery, but this isn't the time for all that! +[To DASHENKA] What do you think, _ma chre_? + +DASHENKA. They want to show how educated they are, and so they +always talk about things we can't understand. + +NASTASYA TIMOFEYEVNA. Thank God, we've lived our time without being +educated, and here we are marrying off our third daughter to an +honest man. And if you think we're uneducated, then what do you +want to come here for? Go to your educated friends! + +YATS. I, Nastasya Timofeyevna, have always held your family in +respect, and if I did start talking about electric lighting it +doesn't mean that I'm proud. I'll drink, to show you. I have always +sincerely wished Daria Evdokimovna a good husband. In these days, +Nastasya Timofeyevna, it is difficult to find a good husband. +Nowadays everybody is on the look-out for a marriage where there is +profit, money. ... + +APLOMBOV. That's a hint! + +YATS. [His courage failing] I wasn't hinting at anything. ... +Present company is always excepted. ... I was only in general. ... +Please! Everybody knows that you're marrying for love ... the dowry +is quite trifling. + +NASTASYA TIMOFEYEVNA. No, it isn't trifling! You be careful what +you say. Besides a thousand roubles of good money, we're giving +three dresses, the bed, and all the furniture. You won't find +another dowry like that in a hurry! + +YATS. I didn't mean ... The furniture's splendid, of course, and ... +and the dresses, but I never hinted at what they are getting +offended at. + +NASTASYA TIMOFEYEVNA. Don't you go making hints. We respect you on +account of your parents, and we've invited you to the wedding, and +here you go talking. If you knew that Epaminond Maximovitch was +marrying for profit, why didn't you say so before? [Tearfully] I +brought her up, I fed her, I nursed her. ... I cared for her more +than if she was an emerald jewel, my little girl. ... + +APLOMBOV. And you go and believe him? Thank you so much! I'm very +grateful to you! [To YATS] And as for you, Mr. Yats, although you +are acquainted with me, I shan't allow you to behave like this in +another's house. Please get out of this! + +YATS. What do you mean? + +APLOMBOV. I want you to be as straightforward as I am! In short, +please get out! [Band plays a flourish] + +THE GENTLEMEN. Leave him alone! Sit down! Is it worth it! Let him +be! Stop it now! + +YATS. I never ... I ... I don't understand. ... Please, I'll go. ... +Only you first give me the five roubles which you borrowed from +me last year on the strength of a _piqu_ waistcoat, if I may say +so. Then I'll just have another drink and ... go, only give me the +money first. + +VARIOUS GENTLEMEN. Sit down! That's enough! Is it worth it, just +for such trifles? + +A GROOMSMAN. [Shouts] The health of the bride's parents, Evdokim +Zaharitch and Nastasya Timofeyevna! [Band plays a flourish. +Cheers.] + +ZHIGALOV. [Bows in all directions, in great emotion] I thank you! +Dear guests! I am very grateful to you for not having forgotten and +for having conferred this honour upon us without being standoffish +And you must not think that I'm a rascal, or that I'm trying to +swindle anybody. I'm speaking from my heart--from the purity of my +soul! I wouldn't deny anything to good people! We thank you very +humbly! [Kisses.] + +DASHENKA. [To her mother] Mama, why are you crying? I'm so happy! + +APLOMBOV. _Maman_ is disturbed at your coming separation. But I +should advise her rather to remember the last talk we had. + +YATS. Don't cry, Nastasya Timofeyevna! Just think what are human +tears, anyway? Just petty psychiatry, and nothing more! + +ZMEYUKINA. And are there any red-haired men in Greece? + +DIMBA. Yes, everysing is zere. + +ZHIGALOV. But you don't have our kinds of mushroom. + +DIMBA. Yes, we've got zem and everysing. + +MOZGOVOY. Harlampi Spiridonovitch, it's your turn to speak! Ladies +and gentlemen, a speech! + +ALL. [To DIMBA] Speech! speech! Your turn! + +DIMBA. Why? I don't understand. ... What is it! + +ZMEYUKINA. No, no! You can't refuse! It's you turn! Get up! + +DIMBA. [Gets up, confused] I can't say what ... Zere's Russia and +zere's Greece. Zere's people in Russia and people in Greece. ... +And zere's people swimming the sea in karavs, which mean sips, and +people on the land in railway trains. I understand. We are Greeks +and you are Russians, and I want nussing. ... I can tell you ... +zere's Russia and zere's Greece ... + +[Enter NUNIN.] + +NUNIN. Wait, ladies and gentlemen, don't eat now! Wait! Just one +minute, Nastasya Timofeyevna! Just come here, if you don't mind! +[Takes NASTASYA TIMOFEYEVNA aside, puffing] Listen ... The +General's coming ... I found one at last. ... I'm simply worn out. ... +A real General, a solid one--old, you know, aged perhaps eighty, or +even ninety. + +NASTASYA TIMOFEYEVNA. When is he coming? + +NUNIN. This minute. You'll be grateful to me all your life. [Note: +A few lines have been omitted: they refer to the "General's" rank +and its civil equivalent in words for which the English language +has no corresponding terms. The "General" is an ex-naval officer, a +second-class captain.] + +NASTASYA TIMOFEYEVNA. You're not deceiving me, Andrey darling? + +NUNIN. Well, now, am I a swindler? You needn't worry! + +NASTASYA TIMOFEYEVNA. [Sighs] One doesn't like to spend money for +nothing, Andrey darling! + +NUNIN. Don't you worry! He's not a general, he's a dream! [Raises +his voice] I said to him: "You've quite forgotten us, your +Excellency! It isn't kind of your Excellency to forget your old +friends! Nastasya Timofeyevna," I said to him, "she's very annoyed +with you about it!" [Goes and sits at the table] And he says to me: +"But, my friend, how can I go when I don't know the bridegroom?" +"Oh, nonsense, your excellency, why stand on ceremony? The +bridegroom," I said to him, "he's a fine fellow, very free and +easy. He's a valuer," I said, "at the Law courts, and don't you +think, your excellency, that he's some rascal, some knave of +hearts. Nowadays," I said to him, "even decent women are employed +at the Law courts." He slapped me on the shoulder, we smoked a +Havana cigar each, and now he's coming. ... Wait a little, ladies +and gentlemen, don't eat. ... + +APLOMBOV. When's he coming? + +NUNIN. This minute. When I left him he was already putting on his +goloshes. Wait a little, ladies and gentlemen, don't eat yet. + +APLOMBOV. The band should be told to play a march. + +NUNIN. [Shouts] Musicians! A march! [The band plays a march for a +minute.] + +A WAITER. Mr. Revunov-Karaulov! + +[ZHIGALOV, NASTASYA TIMOFEYEVNA, and NUNIN run to meet him. Enter +REVUNOV-KARAULOV.] + +NASTASYA TIMOFEYEVNA. [Bowing] Please come in, your excellency! So +glad you've come! + +REVUNOV. Awfully! + +ZHIGALOV. We, your excellency, aren't celebrities, we aren't +important, but quite ordinary, but don't think on that account that +there's any fraud. We put good people into the best place, we +begrudge nothing. Please! + +REVUNOV. Awfully glad! + +NUNIN. Let me introduce to you, your excellency, the bridegroom, +Epaminond Maximovitch Aplombov, with his newly born ... I mean his +newly married wife! Ivan Mihailovitch Yats, employed on the +telegraph! A foreigner of Greek nationality, a confectioner by +trade, Harlampi Spiridonovitch Dimba! Osip Lukitch Babelmandebsky! +And so on, and so on. ... The rest are just trash. Sit down, your +excellency! + +REVUNOV. Awfully! Excuse me, ladies and gentlemen, I just want to +say two words to Andrey. [Takes NUNIN aside] I say, old man, I'm a +little put out. ... Why do you call me your excellency? I'm not a +general! I don't rank as the equivalent of a colonel, even. + +NUNIN. [Whispers] I know, only, Fyodor Yakovlevitch, be a good man +and let us call you your excellency! The family here, you see, is +patriarchal; it respects the aged, it likes rank. + +REVUNOV. Oh, if it's like that, very well. ... [Goes to the table] +Awfully! + +NASTASYA TIMOFEYEVNA. Sit down, your excellency! Be so good as to +have some of this, your excellency! Only forgive us for not being +used to etiquette; we're plain people! + +REVUNOV. [Not hearing] What? Hm ... yes. [Pause] Yes. ... In the +old days everybody used to live simply and was happy. In spite of +my rank, I am a man who lives plainly. To-day Andrey comes to me +and asks me to come here to the wedding. "How shall I go," I said, +"when I don't know them? It's not good manners!" But he says: "They +are good, simple, patriarchal people, glad to see anybody." Well, +if that's the case ... why not? Very glad to come. It's very dull +for me at home by myself, and if my presence at a wedding can make +anybody happy, then I'm delighted to be here. ... + +ZHIGALOV. Then that's sincere, is it, your excellency? I respect +that! I'm a plain man myself, without any deception, and I respect +others who are like that. Eat, your excellency! + +APLOMBOV. Is it long since you retired, your excellency? + +REVUNOV. Eh? Yes, yes. ... Quite true. ... Yes. But, excuse me, +what is this? The fish is sour ... and the bread is sour. I can't +eat this! [APLOMBOV and DASHENKA kiss each other] He, he, he ... +Your health! [Pause] Yes. ... In the old days everything was simple +and everybody was glad. ... I love simplicity. ... I'm an old man. +I retired in 1865. I'm 72. Yes, of course, in my younger days it +was different, but-- [Sees MOZGOVOY] You there ... a sailor, are +you? + +MOZGOVOY. Yes, just so. + +REVUNOV. Aha, so ... yes. The navy means hard work. There's a lot +to think about and get a headache over. Every insignificant word +has, so to speak, its special meaning! For instance, "Hoist her +top-sheets and mainsail!" What's it mean? A sailor can tell! He, +he!--With almost mathematical precision! + +NUNIN. The health of his excellency Fyodor Yakovlevitch Revunov-Karaulov! +[Band plays a flourish. Cheers.] + +YATS. You, your excellency, have just expressed yourself on the +subject of the hard work involved in a naval career. But is +telegraphy any easier? Nowadays, your excellency, nobody is +appointed to the telegraphs if he cannot read and write French and +German. But the transmission of telegrams is the most difficult +thing of all. Awfully difficult! Just listen. + +[Taps with his fork on the table, like a telegraphic transmitter.] + +REVUNOV. What does that mean? + +YATS. It means, "I honour you, your excellency, for your virtues." +You think it's easy? Listen now. [Taps.] + +REVUNOV. Louder; I can't hear. ... + +YATS. That means, "Madam, how happy I am to hold you in my +embraces!" + +REVUNOV. What madam are you talking about? Yes. ... [To MOZGOVOY] +Yes, if there's a head-wind you must ... let's see ... you must +hoist your foretop halyards and topsail halyards! The order is: "On +the cross-trees to the foretop halyards and topsail halyards" and +at the same time, as the sails get loose, you take hold underneath +of the foresail and fore-topsail halyards, stays and braces. + +A GROOMSMAN. [Rising] Ladies and gentlemen ... + +REVUNOV. [Cutting him short] Yes ... there are a great many orders +to give. "Furl the fore-topsail and the foretop-gallant sail!!" +Well, what does that mean? It's very simple! It means that if the +top and top-gallant sails are lifting the halyards, they must level +the foretop and foretop-gallant halyards on the hoist and at the +same time the top-gallants braces, as needed, are loosened +according to the direction of the wind ... + +NUNIN. [To REVUNOV] Fyodor Yakovlevitch, Mme. Zhigalov asks you to +talk about something else. It's very dull for the guests, who can't +understand. ... + +REVUNOV. What? Who's dull? [To MOZGOVOY] Young man! Now suppose the +ship is lying by the wind, on the starboard tack, under full sail, +and you've got to bring her before the wind. What's the order? +Well, first you whistle up above! He, he! + +NUNIN. Fyodor Yakovlevitch, that's enough. Eat something. + +REVUNOV. As soon as the men are on deck you give the order, "To +your places!" What a life! You give orders, and at the same time +you've got to keep your eyes on the sailors, who run about like +flashes of lightning and get the sails and braces right. And at +last you can't restrain yourself, and you shout, "Good children!" +[He chokes and coughs.] + +A GROOMSMAN. [Making haste to use the ensuing pause to advantage] +On this occasion, so to speak, on the day on which we have met +together to honour our dear ... + +REVUNOV. [Interrupting] Yes, you've got to remember all that! For +instance, "Hoist the topsail halyards. Lower the topsail gallants!" + +THE GROOMSMAN. [Annoyed] Why does he keep on interrupting? We +shan't get through a single speech like that! + +NASTASYA TIMOFEYEVNA. We are dull people, your excellency, and +don't understand a word of all that, but if you were to tell us +something appropriate ... + +REVUNOV. [Not hearing] I've already had supper, thank you. Did you +say there was goose? Thanks ... yes. I've remembered the old days. ... +It's pleasant, young man! You sail on the sea, you have no worries, +and [In an excited tone of voice] do you remember the joy of +tacking? Is there a sailor who doesn't glow at the memory of that +manoeuvre? As soon as the word is given and the whistle blown and +the crew begins to go up--it's as if an electric spark has run +through them all. From the captain to the cabin-boy, everybody's +excited. + +ZMEYUKINA. How dull! How dull! [General murmur.] + +REVUNOV. [Who has not heard it properly] Thank you, I've had +supper. [With enthusiasm] Everybody's ready, and looks to the +senior officer. He gives the command: "Stand by, gallants and +topsail braces on the starboard side, main and counter-braces to +port!" Everything's done in a twinkling. Top-sheets and jib-sheets +are pulled ... taken to starboard. [Stands up] The ship takes the +wind and at last the sails fill out. The senior officer orders, "To +the braces," and himself keeps his eye on the mainsail, and when at +last this sail is filling out and the ship begins to turn, he yells +at the top of his voice, "Let go the braces! Loose the main +halyards!" Everything flies about, there's a general confusion for +a moment--and everything is done without an error. The ship has +been tacked! + +NASTASYA TIMOFEYEVNA. [Exploding] General, your manners. ... You +ought to be ashamed of yourself, at your age! + +REVUNOV. Did you say sausage? No, I haven't had any ... thank you. + +NASTASYA TIMOFEYEVNA. [Loudly] I say you ought to be ashamed of +yourself at your age! General, your manners are awful! + +NUNIN. [Confused] Ladies and gentlemen, is it worth it? Really ... + +REVUNOV. In the first place, I'm not a general, but a second-class +naval captain, which, according to the table of precedence, +corresponds to a lieutenant-colonel. + +NASTASYA TIMOFEYEVNA. If you're not a general, then what did you go +and take our money for? We never paid you money to behave like +that! + +REVUNOV. [Upset] What money? + +NASTASYA TIMOFEYEVNA. You know what money. You know that you got 25 +roubles from Andrey Andreyevitch. ... [To NUNIN] And you look out, +Andrey! I never asked you to hire a man like that! + +NUNIN. There now ... let it drop. Is it worth it? + +REVUNOV. Paid ... hired. ... What is it? + +APLOMBOV. Just let me ask you this. Did you receive 25 roubles from +Andrey Andreyevitch? + +REVUNOV. What 25 roubles? [Suddenly realizing] That's what it is! +Now I understand it all. ... How mean! How mean! + +APLOMBOV. Did you take the money? + +REVUNOV. I haven't taken any money! Get away from me! [Leaves the +table] How mean! How low! To insult an old man, a sailor, an +officer who has served long and faithfully! If you were decent +people I could call somebody out, but what can I do now? [Absently] +Where's the door? Which way do I go? Waiter, show me the way out! +Waiter! [Going] How mean! How low! [Exit.] + +NASTASYA TIMOFEYEVNA. Andrey, where are those 25 roubles? + +NUNIN. Is it worth while bothering about such trifles? What does it +matter! Everybody's happy here, and here you go. ... [Shouts] The +health of the bride and bridegroom! A march! A march! [The band +plays a march] The health of the bride and bridegroom! + +ZMEYUKINA. I'm suffocating! Give me atmosphere! I'm suffocating +with you all round me! + +YATS. [In a transport of delight] My beauty! My beauty! [Uproar.] + +A GROOMSMAN. [Trying to shout everybody else down] Ladies and +gentlemen! On this occasion, if I may say so ... + +Curtain. + + + +THE BEAR + + +CHARACTERS + +ELENA IVANOVNA POPOVA, a landowning little widow, with dimples on her +cheeks +GRIGORY STEPANOVITCH SMIRNOV, a middle-aged landowner +LUKA, Popova's aged footman + + +THE BEAR + + +[A drawing-room in POPOVA'S house.] + +[POPOVA is in deep mourning and has her eyes fixed on a photograph. +LUKA is haranguing her.] + +LUKA. It isn't right, madam. ... You're just destroying yourself. +The maid and the cook have gone off fruit picking, every living +being is rejoicing, even the cat understands how to enjoy herself +and walks about in the yard, catching midges; only you sit in this +room all day, as if this was a convent, and don't take any +pleasure. Yes, really! I reckon it's a whole year that you haven't +left the house! + +POPOVA. I shall never go out. ... Why should I? My life is already +at an end. He is in his grave, and I have buried myself between +four walls. ... We are both dead. + +LUKA. Well, there you are! Nicolai Mihailovitch is dead, well, it's +the will of God, and may his soul rest in peace. ... You've mourned +him--and quite right. But you can't go on weeping and wearing +mourning for ever. My old woman died too, when her time came. Well? +I grieved over her, I wept for a month, and that's enough for her, +but if I've got to weep for a whole age, well, the old woman isn't +worth it. [Sighs] You've forgotten all your neighbours. You don't +go anywhere, and you see nobody. We live, so to speak, like +spiders, and never see the light. The mice have eaten my livery. It +isn't as if there were no good people around, for the district's +full of them. There's a regiment quartered at Riblov, and the +officers are such beauties--you can never gaze your fill at them. +And, every Friday, there's a ball at the camp, and every day the +soldier's band plays. ... Eh, my lady! You're young and beautiful, +with roses in your cheek--if you only took a little pleasure. +Beauty won't last long, you know. In ten years' time you'll want to +be a pea-hen yourself among the officers, but they won't look at +you, it will be too late. + +POPOVA. [With determination] I must ask you never to talk to me +about it! You know that when Nicolai Mihailovitch died, life lost +all its meaning for me. I vowed never to the end of my days to +cease to wear mourning, or to see the light. ... You hear? Let his +ghost see how well I love him. ... Yes, I know it's no secret to +you that he was often unfair to me, cruel, and ... and even +unfaithful, but I shall be true till death, and show him how I can +love. There, beyond the grave, he will see me as I was before his +death. ... + +LUKA. Instead of talking like that you ought to go and have a walk +in the garden, or else order Toby or Giant to be harnessed, and +then drive out to see some of the neighbours. + +POPOVA. Oh! [Weeps.] + +LUKA. Madam! Dear madam! What is it? Bless you! + +POPOVA. He was so fond of Toby! He always used to ride on him to +the Korchagins and Vlasovs. How well he could ride! What grace +there was in his figure when he pulled at the reins with all his +strength! Do you remember? Toby, Toby! Tell them to give him an +extra feed of oats. + +LUKA. Yes, madam. [A bell rings noisily.] + +POPOVA. [Shaking] Who's that? Tell them that I receive nobody. + +LUKA. Yes, madam. [Exit.] + +POPOVA. [Looks at the photograph] You will see, Nicolas, how I can +love and forgive. ... My love will die out with me, only when this +poor heart will cease to beat. [Laughs through her tears] And +aren't you ashamed? I am a good and virtuous little wife. I've +locked myself in, and will be true to you till the grave, and you ... +aren't you ashamed, you bad child? You deceived me, had rows with +me, left me alone for weeks on end . ... + +[LUKA enters in consternation.] + +LUKA. Madam, somebody is asking for you. He wants to see you. ... + +POPOVA. But didn't you tell him that since the death of my husband +I've stopped receiving? + +LUKA. I did, but he wouldn't even listen; says that it's a very +pressing affair. + +POPOVA. I do not re-ceive! + +LUKA. I told him so, but the ... the devil ... curses and pushes +himself right in. ... He's in the dining-room now. + +POPOVA. [Annoyed] Very well, ask him in. ... What manners! [Exit +LUKA] How these people annoy me! What does he want of me? Why +should he disturb my peace? [Sighs] No, I see that I shall have to +go into a convent after all. [Thoughtfully] Yes, into a convent. ... +[Enter LUKA with SMIRNOV.] + +SMIRNOV. [To LUKA] You fool, you're too fond of talking. ... Ass! +[Sees POPOVA and speaks with respect] Madam, I have the honour to +present myself, I am Grigory Stepanovitch Smirnov, landowner and +retired lieutenant of artillery! I am compelled to disturb you on a +very pressing affair. + +POPOVA. [Not giving him her hand] What do you want? + +SMIRNOV. Your late husband, with whom I had the honour of being +acquainted, died in my debt for one thousand two hundred roubles, +on two bills of exchange. As I've got to pay the interest on a +mortgage to-morrow, I've come to ask you, madam, to pay me the +money to-day. + +POPOVA. One thousand two hundred. ... And what was my husband in +debt to you for? + +SMIRNOV. He used to buy oats from me. + +POPOVA. [Sighing, to LUKA] So don't you forget, Luka, to give Toby +an extra feed of oats. [Exit LUKA] If Nicolai Mihailovitch died in +debt to you, then I shall certainly pay you, but you must excuse me +to-day, as I haven't any spare cash. The day after to-morrow my +steward will be back from town, and I'll give him instructions to +settle your account, but at the moment I cannot do as you wish. ... +Moreover, it's exactly seven months to-day since the death of my +husband, and I'm in a state of mind which absolutely prevents me +from giving money matters my attention. + +SMIRNOV. And I'm in a state of mind which, if I don't pay the +interest due to-morrow, will force me to make a graceful exit from +this life feet first. They'll take my estate! + +POPOVA. You'll have your money the day after to-morrow. + +SMIRNOV. I don't want the money the day after tomorrow, I want it +to-day. + +POPOVA. You must excuse me, I can't pay you. + +SMIRNOV. And I can't wait till after to-morrow. + +POPOVA. Well, what can I do, if I haven't the money now! + +SMIRNOV. You mean to say, you can't pay me? + +POPOVA. I can't. + +SMIRNOV. Hm! Is that the last word you've got to say? + +POPOVA. Yes, the last word. + +SMIRNOV. The last word? Absolutely your last? + +POPOVA. Absolutely. + +SMIRNOV. Thank you so much. I'll make a note of it. [Shrugs his +shoulders] And then people want me to keep calm! I meet a man on +the road, and he asks me "Why are you always so angry, Grigory +Stepanovitch?" But how on earth am I not to get angry? I want the +money desperately. I rode out yesterday, early in the morning, and +called on all my debtors, and not a single one of them paid up! I +was just about dead-beat after it all, slept, goodness knows where, +in some inn, kept by a Jew, with a vodka-barrel by my head. At last +I get here, seventy versts from home, and hope to get something, +and I am received by you with a "state of mind"! How shouldn't I +get angry. + +POPOVA. I thought I distinctly said my steward will pay you when he +returns from town. + +SMIRNOV. I didn't come to your steward, but to you! What the devil, +excuse my saying so, have I to do with your steward! + +POPOVA. Excuse me, sir, I am not accustomed to listen to such +expressions or to such a tone of voice. I want to hear no more. +[Makes a rapid exit.] + +SMIRNOV. Well, there! "A state of mind." ... "Husband died seven +months ago!" Must I pay the interest, or mustn't I? I ask you: Must +I pay, or must I not? Suppose your husband is dead, and you've got +a state of mind, and nonsense of that sort. ... And your steward's +gone away somewhere, devil take him, what do you want me to do? Do +you think I can fly away from my creditors in a balloon, or what? +Or do you expect me to go and run my head into a brick wall? I go +to Grusdev and he isn't at home, Yaroshevitch has hidden himself, I +had a violent row with Kuritsin and nearly threw him out of the +window, Mazugo has something the matter with his bowels, and this +woman has "a state of mind." Not one of the swine wants to pay me! +Just because I'm too gentle with them, because I'm a rag, just weak +wax in their hands! I'm much too gentle with them! Well, just you +wait! You'll find out what I'm like! I shan't let you play about +with me, confound it! I shall jolly well stay here until she pays! +Brr! ... How angry I am to-day, how angry I am! All my inside is +quivering with anger, and I can't even breathe. ... Foo, my word, I +even feel sick! [Yells] Waiter! + +[Enter LUKA.] + +LUKA. What is it? + +SMIRNOV. Get me some kvass or water! [Exit LUKA] What a way to +reason! A man is in desperate need of his money, and she won't pay +it because, you see, she is not disposed to attend to money +matters! ... That's real silly feminine logic. That's why I never +did like, and don't like now, to have to talk to women. I'd rather +sit on a barrel of gunpowder than talk to a woman. Brr! ... I feel +quite chilly--and it's all on account of that little bit of fluff! +I can't even see one of these poetic creatures from a distance +without breaking out into a cold sweat out of sheer anger. I can't +look at them. [Enter LUKA with water.] + +LUKA. Madam is ill and will see nobody. + +SMIRNOV. Get out! [Exit LUKA] Ill and will see nobody! No, it's all +right, you don't see me. ... I'm going to stay and will sit here +till you give me the money. You can be ill for a week, if you like, +and I'll stay here for a week. ... If you're ill for a year--I'll +stay for a year. I'm going to get my own, my dear! You don't get at +me with your widow's weeds and your dimpled cheeks! I know those +dimples! [Shouts through the window] Simeon, take them out! We +aren't going away at once! I'm staying here! Tell them in the +stable to give the horses some oats! You fool, you've let the near +horse's leg get tied up in the reins again! [Teasingly] "Never +mind. ..." I'll give it you. "Never mind." [Goes away from the +window] Oh, it's bad. ... The heat's frightful, nobody pays up. I +slept badly, and on top of everything else here's a bit of fluff in +mourning with "a state of mind." ... My head's aching. ... Shall I +have some vodka, what? Yes, I think I will. [Yells] Waiter! + +[Enter LUKA.] + +LUKA. What is it? + +SMIRNOV. A glass of vodka! [Exit LUKA] Ouf! [Sits and inspects +himself] I must say I look well! Dust all over, boots dirty, +unwashed, unkempt, straw on my waistcoat. ... The dear lady may +well have taken me for a brigand. [Yawns] It's rather impolite to +come into a drawing-room in this state, but it can't be helped. ... +I am not here as a visitor, but as a creditor, and there's no dress +specially prescribed for creditors. ... + +[Enter LUKA with the vodka.] + +LUKA. You allow yourself to go very far, sir. ... + +SMIRNOV [Angrily] What? + +LUKA. I ... er ... nothing ... I really ... + +SMIRNOV. Whom are you talking to? Shut up! + +LUKA. [Aside] The devil's come to stay. ... Bad luck that brought +him. ... [Exit.] + +SMIRNOV. Oh, how angry I am! So angry that I think I could grind +the whole world to dust. ... I even feel sick. ... [Yells] Waiter! + +[Enter POPOVA.] + +POPOVA. [Her eyes downcast] Sir, in my solitude I have grown +unaccustomed to the masculine voice, and I can't stand shouting. I +must ask you not to disturb my peace. + +SMIRNOV. Pay me the money, and I'll go. + +POPOVA. I told you perfectly plainly; I haven't any money to spare; +wait until the day after to-morrow. + +SMIRNOV. And I told you perfectly plainly I don't want the money +the day after to-morrow, but to-day. If you don't pay me to-day, +I'll have to hang myself to-morrow. + +POPOVA. But what can I do if I haven't got the money? You're so +strange! + +SMIRNOV. Then you won't pay me now? Eh? + +POPOVA. I can't. + +SMIRNOV. In that case I stay here and shall wait until I get it. +[Sits down] You're going to pay me the day after to-morrow? Very +well! I'll stay here until the day after to-morrow. I'll sit here +all the time. ... [Jumps up] I ask you: Have I got to pay the +interest to-morrow, or haven't I? Or do you think I'm doing this +for a joke? + +POPOVA. Please don't shout! This isn't a stable! + +SMIRNOV. I wasn't asking you about a stable, but whether I'd got my +interest to pay to-morrow or not? + +POPOVA. You don't know how to behave before women! + +SMIRNOV. No, I do know how to behave before women! + +POPOVA. No, you don't! You're a rude, ill-bred man! Decent people +don't talk to a woman like that! + +SMIRNOV. What a business! How do you want me to talk to you? In +French, or what? [Loses his temper and lisps] _Madame, je vous +prie_. ... How happy I am that you don't pay me. ... Ah, pardon. I +have disturbed you! Such lovely weather to-day! And how well you +look in mourning! [Bows.] + +POPOVA. That's silly and rude. + +SMIRNOV. [Teasing her] Silly and rude! I don't know how to behave +before women! Madam, in my time I've seen more women than you've +seen sparrows! Three times I've fought duels on account of women. +I've refused twelve women, and nine have refused me! Yes! There was +a time when I played the fool, scented myself, used honeyed words, +wore jewellery, made beautiful bows. I used to love, to suffer, to +sigh at the moon, to get sour, to thaw, to freeze. ... I used to +love passionately, madly, every blessed way, devil take me; I used +to chatter like a magpie about emancipation, and wasted half my +wealth on tender feelings, but now--you must excuse me! You won't +get round me like that now! I've had enough! Black eyes, passionate +eyes, ruby lips, dimpled cheeks, the moon, whispers, timid +breathing--I wouldn't give a brass farthing for the lot, madam! +Present company always excepted, all women, great or little, are +insincere, crooked, backbiters, envious, liars to the marrow of +their bones, vain, trivial, merciless, unreasonable, and, as far as +this is concerned [taps his forehead] excuse my outspokenness, a +sparrow can give ten points to any philosopher in petticoats you +like to name! You look at one of these poetic creatures: all +muslin, an ethereal demi-goddess, you have a million transports of +joy, and you look into her soul--and see a common crocodile! [He +grips the back of a chair; the chair creaks and breaks] But the +most disgusting thing of all is that this crocodile for some reason +or other imagines that its chef d'oeuvre, its privilege and +monopoly, is its tender feelings. Why, confound it, hang me on that +nail feet upwards, if you like, but have you met a woman who can +love anybody except a lapdog? When she's in love, can she do +anything but snivel and slobber? While a man is suffering and +making sacrifices all her love expresses itself in her playing +about with her scarf, and trying to hook him more firmly by the +nose. You have the misfortune to be a woman, you know from yourself +what is the nature of woman. Tell me truthfully, have you ever seen +a woman who was sincere, faithful, and constant? You haven't! Only +freaks and old women are faithful and constant! You'll meet a cat +with a horn or a white woodcock sooner than a constant woman! + +POPOVA. Then, according to you, who is faithful and constant in +love? Is it the man? + +SMIRNOV. Yes, the man! + +POPOVA. The man! [Laughs bitterly] Men are faithful and constant in +love! What an idea! [With heat] What right have you to talk like +that? Men are faithful and constant! Since we are talking about it, +I'll tell you that of all the men I knew and know, the best was my +late husband. ... I loved him passionately with all my being, as +only a young and imaginative woman can love, I gave him my youth, +my happiness, my life, my fortune, I breathed in him, I worshipped +him as if I were a heathen, and ... and what then? This best of men +shamelessly deceived me at every step! After his death I found in +his desk a whole drawerful of love-letters, and when he was alive-- +it's an awful thing to remember!--he used to leave me alone for +weeks at a time, and make love to other women and betray me before +my very eyes; he wasted my money, and made fun of my feelings. ... +And, in spite of all that, I loved him and was true to him. And not +only that, but, now that he is dead, I am still true and constant +to his memory. I have shut myself for ever within these four walls, +and will wear these weeds to the very end. ... + +SMIRNOV. [Laughs contemptuously] Weeds! ... I don't understand what +you take me for. As if I don't know why you wear that black domino +and bury yourself between four walls! I should say I did! It's so +mysterious, so poetic! When some junker [Note: So in the original.] +or some tame poet goes past your windows he'll think: "There lives +the mysterious Tamara who, for the love of her husband, buried +herself between four walls." We know these games! + +POPOVA. [Exploding] What? How dare you say all that to me? + +SMIRNOV. You may have buried yourself alive, but you haven't +forgotten to powder your face! + +POPOVA. How dare you speak to me like that? + +SMIRNOV. Please don't shout, I'm not your steward! You must allow +me to call things by their real names. I'm not a woman, and I'm +used to saying what I think straight out! Don't you shout, either! + +POPOVA. I'm not shouting, it's you! Please leave me alone! + +SMIRNOV. Pay me my money and I'll go. + +POPOVA. I shan't give you any money! + +SMIRNOV. Oh, no, you will. + +POPOVA. I shan't give you a farthing, just to spite you. You leave +me alone! + +SMIRNOV. I have not the pleasure of being either your husband or +your fianc, so please don't make scenes. [Sits] I don't like it. + +POPOVA. [Choking with rage] So you sit down? + +SMIRNOV. I do. + +POPOVA. I ask you to go away! + +SMIRNOV. Give me my money. ... [Aside] Oh, how angry I am! How +angry I am! + +POPOVA. I don't want to talk to impudent scoundrels! Get out of +this! [Pause] Aren't you going? No? + +SMIRNOV. No. + +POPOVA. No? + +SMIRNOV. No! + +POPOVA. Very well then! [Rings, enter LUKA] Luka, show this +gentleman out! + +LUKA. [Approaches SMIRNOV] Would you mind going out, sir, as you're +asked to! You needn't ... + +SMIRNOV. [Jumps up] Shut up! Who are you talking to? I'll chop you +into pieces! + +LUKA. [Clutches at his heart] Little fathers! ... What people! ... +[Falls into a chair] Oh, I'm ill, I'm ill! I can't breathe! + +POPOVA. Where's Dasha? Dasha! [Shouts] Dasha! Pelageya! Dasha! +[Rings.] + +LUKA. Oh! They've all gone out to pick fruit. ... There's nobody at +home! I'm ill! Water! + +POPOVA. Get out of this, now. + +SMIRNOV. Can't you be more polite? + +POPOVA. [Clenches her fists and stamps her foot] You're a boor! A +coarse bear! A Bourbon! A monster! + +SMIRNOV. What? What did you say? + +POPOVA. I said you are a bear, a monster! + +SMIRNOV. [Approaching her] May I ask what right you have to insult +me? + +POPOVA. And suppose I am insulting you? Do you think I'm afraid of +you? + +SMIRNOV. And do you think that just because you're a poetic +creature you can insult me with impunity? Eh? We'll fight it out! + +LUKA. Little fathers! ... What people! ... Water! + +SMIRNOV. Pistols! + +POPOVA. Do you think I'm afraid of you just because you have large +fists and a bull's throat? Eh? You Bourbon! + +SMIRNOV. We'll fight it out! I'm not going to be insulted by +anybody, and I don't care if you are a woman, one of the "softer +sex," indeed! + +POPOVA. [Trying to interrupt him] Bear! Bear! Bear! + +SMIRNOV. It's about time we got rid of the prejudice that only men +need pay for their insults. Devil take it, if you want equality of +rights you can have it. We're going to fight it out! + +POPOVA. With pistols? Very well! + +SMIRNOV. This very minute. + +POPOVA. This very minute! My husband had some pistols. ... I'll +bring them here. [Is going, but turns back] What pleasure it will +give me to put a bullet into your thick head! Devil take you! +[Exit.] + +SMIRNOV. I'll bring her down like a chicken! I'm not a little boy +or a sentimental puppy; I don't care about this "softer sex." + +LUKA. Gracious little fathers! ... [Kneels] Have pity on a poor old +man, and go away from here! You've frightened her to death, and now +you want to shoot her! + +SMIRNOV. [Not hearing him] If she fights, well that's equality of +rights, emancipation, and all that! Here the sexes are equal! I'll +shoot her on principle! But what a woman! [Parodying her] "Devil +take you! I'll put a bullet into your thick head." Eh? How she +reddened, how her cheeks shone! ... She accepted my challenge! My +word, it's the first time in my life that I've seen. ... + +LUKA. Go away, sir, and I'll always pray to God for you! + +SMIRNOV. She is a woman! That's the sort I can understand! A real +woman! Not a sour-faced jellybag, but fire, gunpowder, a rocket! +I'm even sorry to have to kill her! + +LUKA. [Weeps] Dear ... dear sir, do go away! + +SMIRNOV. I absolutely like her! Absolutely! Even though her cheeks +are dimpled, I like her! I'm almost ready to let the debt go ... +and I'm not angry any longer. ... Wonderful woman! + +[Enter POPOVA with pistols.] + +POPOVA. Here are the pistols. ... But before we fight you must show +me how to fire. I've never held a pistol in my hands before. + +LUKA. Oh, Lord, have mercy and save her. ... I'll go and find the +coachman and the gardener. ... Why has this infliction come on us. ... +[Exit.] + +SMIRNOV. [Examining the pistols] You see, there are several sorts +of pistols. ... There are Mortimer pistols, specially made for +duels, they fire a percussion-cap. These are Smith and Wesson +revolvers, triple action, with extractors. ... These are excellent +pistols. They can't cost less than ninety roubles the pair. ... You +must hold the revolver like this. ... [Aside] Her eyes, her eyes! +What an inspiring woman! + +POPOVA. Like this? + +SMIRNOV. Yes, like this. ... Then you cock the trigger, and take +aim like this. ... Put your head back a little! Hold your arm out +properly. ... Like that. ... Then you press this thing with your +finger--and that's all. The great thing is to keep cool and aim +steadily. ... Try not to jerk your arm. + +POPOVA. Very well. ... It's inconvenient to shoot in a room, let's +go into the garden. + +SMIRNOV. Come along then. But I warn you, I'm going to fire in the +air. + +POPOVA. That's the last straw! Why? + +SMIRNOV. Because ... because ... it's my affair. + +POPOVA. Are you afraid? Yes? Ah! No, sir, you don't get out of it! +You come with me! I shan't have any peace until I've made a hole in +your forehead ... that forehead which I hate so much! Are you +afraid? + +SMIRNOV. Yes, I am afraid. + +POPOVA. You lie! Why won't you fight? + +SMIRNOV. Because ... because you ... because I like you. + +POPOVA. [Laughs] He likes me! He dares to say that he likes me! +[Points to the door] That's the way. + +SMIRNOV. [Loads the revolver in silence, takes his cap and goes to +the door. There he stops for half a minute, while they look at each +other in silence, then he hesitatingly approaches POPOVA] Listen. ... +Are you still angry? I'm devilishly annoyed, too ... but, do you +understand ... how can I express myself? ... The fact is, you see, +it's like this, so to speak. ... [Shouts] Well, is it my fault that +I like you? [He snatches at the back of a chair; the chair creaks +and breaks] Devil take it, how I'm smashing up your furniture! I +like you! Do you understand? I ... I almost love you! + +POPOVA. Get away from me--I hate you! + +SMIRNOV. God, what a woman! I've never in my life seen one like +her! I'm lost! Done for! Fallen into a mousetrap, like a mouse! + +POPOVA. Stand back, or I'll fire! + +SMIRNOV. Fire, then! You can't understand what happiness it would +be to die before those beautiful eyes, to be shot by a revolver +held in that little, velvet hand. ... I'm out of my senses! Think, +and make up your mind at once, because if I go out we shall never +see each other again! Decide now. ... I am a landowner, of +respectable character, have an income of ten thousand a year. I can +put a bullet through a coin tossed into the air as it comes down. ... +I own some fine horses. ... Will you be my wife? + +POPOVA. [Indignantly shakes her revolver] Let's fight! Let's go +out! + +SMIRNOV. I'm mad. ... I understand nothing. [Yells] Waiter, water! + +POPOVA. [Yells] Let's go out and fight! + +SMIRNOV. I'm off my head, I'm in love like a boy, like a fool! +[Snatches her hand, she screams with pain] I love you! [Kneels] I +love you as I've never loved before! I've refused twelve women, +nine have refused me, but I never loved one of them as I love you. ... +I'm weak, I'm wax, I've melted. ... I'm on my knees like a fool, +offering you my hand. ... Shame, shame! I haven't been in love for +five years, I'd taken a vow, and now all of a sudden I'm in love, +like a fish out of water! I offer you my hand. Yes or no? You don't +want me? Very well! [Gets up and quickly goes to the door.] + +POPOVA. Stop. + +SMIRNOV. [Stops] Well? + +POPOVA. Nothing, go away. ... No, stop. ... No, go away, go away! I +hate you! Or no. ... Don't go away! Oh, if you knew how angry I am, +how angry I am! [Throws her revolver on the table] My fingers have +swollen because of all this. ... [Tears her handkerchief in temper] +What are you waiting for? Get out! + +SMIRNOV. Good-bye. + +POPOVA. Yes, yes, go away! ... [Yells] Where are you going? Stop. ... +No, go away. Oh, how angry I am! Don't come near me, don't come +near me! + +SMIRNOV. [Approaching her] How angry I am with myself! I'm in love +like a student, I've been on my knees. ... [Rudely] I love you! +What do I want to fall in love with you for? To-morrow I've got to +pay the interest, and begin mowing, and here you. ... [Puts his +arms around her] I shall never forgive myself for this. ... + +POPOVA. Get away from me! Take your hands away! I hate you! Let's +go and fight! + +[A prolonged kiss. Enter LUKA with an axe, the GARDENER with a +rake, the COACHMAN with a pitchfork, and WORKMEN with poles.] + +LUKA. [Catches sight of the pair kissing] Little fathers! [Pause.] + +POPOVA. [Lowering her eyes] Luka, tell them in the stables that +Toby isn't to have any oats at all to-day. + +Curtain. + + + +A TRAGEDIAN IN SPITE OF HIMSELF + + +CHARACTERS + +IVAN IVANOVITCH TOLKACHOV, the father of a family +ALEXEY ALEXEYEVITCH MURASHKIN, his friend + +The scene is laid in St. Petersburg, in MURASHKIN'S flat + + +A TRAGEDIAN IN SPITE OF HIMSELF + +[MURASHKIN'S study. Comfortable furniture. MURASHKIN is seated at +his desk. Enter TOLKACHOV holding in his hands a glass globe for a +lamp, a toy bicycle, three hat-boxes, a large parcel containing a +dress, a bin-case of beer, and several little parcels. He looks +round stupidly and lets himself down on the sofa in exhaustion.] + +MURASHKIN. How do you do, Ivan Ivanovitch? Delighted to see you! +What brings you here? + +TOLKACHOV. [Breathing heavily] My dear good fellow ... I want to +ask you something. ... I implore you lend me a revolver till +to-morrow. Be a friend! + +MURASHKIN. What do you want a revolver for? + +TOLKACHOV. I must have it. ... Oh, little fathers! ... give me some +water ... water quickly! ... I must have it ... I've got to go +through a dark wood to-night, so in case of accidents ... do, +please, lend it to me. + +MURASHKIN. Oh, you liar, Ivan Ivanovitch! What the devil have you +got to do in a dark wood? I expect you are up to something. I can +see by your face that you are up to something. What's the matter +with you? Are you ill? + +TOLKACHOV. Wait a moment, let me breathe. ... Oh little mothers! I +am dog-tired. I've got a feeling all over me, and in my head as +well, as if I've been roasted on a spit. I can't stand it any +longer. Be a friend, and don't ask me any questions or insist on +details; just give me the revolver! I beseech you! + +MURASHKIN. Well, really! Ivan Ivanovitch, what cowardice is this? +The father of a family and a Civil Servant holding a responsible +post! For shame! + +TOLKACHOV. What sort of a father of a family am I! I am a martyr. I +am a beast of burden, a nigger, a slave, a rascal who keeps on +waiting here for something to happen instead of starting off for +the next world. I am a rag, a fool, an idiot. Why am I alive? +What's the use? [Jumps up] Well now, tell me why am I alive? What's +the purpose of this uninterrupted series of mental and physical +sufferings? I understand being a martyr to an idea, yes! But to be +a martyr to the devil knows what, skirts and lamp-globes, no! I +humbly decline! No, no, no! I've had enough! Enough! + +MURASHKIN. Don't shout, the neighbours will hear you! + +TOLKACHOV. Let your neighbours hear; it's all the same to me! If +you don't give me a revolver somebody else will, and there will be +an end of me anyway! I've made up my mind! + +MURASHKIN. Hold on, you've pulled off a button. Speak calmly. I +still don't understand what's wrong with your life. + +TOLKACHOV. What's wrong? You ask me what's wrong? Very well, I'll +tell you! Very well! I'll tell you everything, and then perhaps my +soul will be lighter. Let's sit down. Now listen ... Oh, little +mothers, I am out of breath! ... Just let's take to-day as an +instance. Let's take to-day. As you know, I've got to work at the +Treasury from ten to four. It's hot, it's stuffy, there are flies, +and, my dear fellow, the very dickens of a chaos. The Secretary is +on leave, Khrapov has gone to get married, and the smaller fry is +mostly in the country, making love or occupied with amateur +theatricals. Everybody is so sleepy, tired, and done up that you +can't get any sense out of them. The Secretary's duties are in the +hands of an individual who is deaf in the left ear and in love; the +public has lost its memory; everybody is running about angry and +raging, and there is such a hullabaloo that you can't hear yourself +speak. Confusion and smoke everywhere. And my work is deathly: +always the same, always the same--first a correction, then a +reference back, another correction, another reference back; it's +all as monotonous as the waves of the sea. One's eyes, you +understand, simply crawl out of one's head. Give me some water. ... +You come out a broken, exhausted man. You would like to dine and +fall asleep, but you don't!--You remember that you live in the +country--that is, you are a slave, a rag, a bit of string, a bit of +limp flesh, and you've got to run round and do errands. Where we +live a pleasant custom has grown up: when a man goes to town every +wretched female inhabitant, not to mention one's own wife, has the +power and the right to give him a crowd of commissions. The wife +orders you to run into the modiste's and curse her for making a +bodice too wide across the chest and too narrow across the +shoulders; little Sonya wants a new pair of shoes; your sister-in-law +wants some scarlet silk like the pattern at twenty copecks and +three arshins long. ... Just wait; I'll read you. [Takes a note out +of his pocket and reads] A globe for the lamp; one pound of pork +sausages; five copecks' worth of cloves and cinnamon; castor-oil +for Misha; ten pounds of granulated sugar. To bring with you from +home: a copper jar for the sugar; carbolic acid; insect powder, ten +copecks' worth; twenty bottles of beer; vinegar; and corsets for +Mlle. Shanceau at No. 82. ... Ouf! And to bring home Misha's winter +coat and goloshes. That is the order of my wife and family. Then +there are the commissions of our dear friends and neighbours--devil +take them! To-morrow is the name-day of Volodia Vlasin; I have to +buy a bicycle for him. The wife of Lieutenant-Colonel Virkhin is in +an interesting condition, and I am therefore bound to call in at +the midwife's every day and invite her to come. And so on, and so +on. There are five notes in my pocket and my handkerchief is all +knots. And so, my dear fellow, you spend the time between your +office and your train, running about the town like a dog with your +tongue hanging out, running and running and cursing life. From the +clothier's to the chemist's, from the chemist's to the modiste's, +from the modiste's to the pork butcher's, and then back again to +the chemist's. In one place you stumble, in a second you lose your +money, in a third you forget to pay and they raise a hue and cry +after you, in a fourth you tread on the train of a lady's dress. ... +Tfoo! You get so shaken up from all this that your bones ache all +night and you dream of crocodiles. Well, you've made all your +purchases, but how are you to pack all these things? For instance, +how are you to put a heavy copper jar together with the lamp-globe +or the carbolic acid with the tea? How are you to make a +combination of beer-bottles and this bicycle? It's the labours of +Hercules, a puzzle, a rebus! Whatever tricks you think of, in the +long run you're bound to smash or scatter something, and at the +station and in the train you have to stand with your arms apart, +holding up some parcel or other under your chin, with parcels, +cardboard boxes, and such-like rubbish all over you. The train +starts, the passengers begin to throw your luggage about on all +sides: you've got your things on somebody else's seat. They yell, +they call for the conductor, they threaten to have you put out, but +what can I do? I just stand and blink my eyes like a whacked +donkey. Now listen to this. I get home. You think I'd like to have +a nice little drink after my righteous labours and a good square +meal--isn't that so?--but there is no chance of that. My spouse has +been on the look-out for me for some time. You've hardly started on +your soup when she has her claws into you, wretched slave that you +are--and wouldn't you like to go to some amateur theatricals or to +a dance? You can't protest. You are a husband, and the word husband +when translated into the language of summer residents in the +country means a dumb beast which you can load to any extent without +fear of the interference of the Society for the Prevention of +Cruelty to Animals. So you go and blink at "A Family Scandal" or +something, you applaud when your wife tells you to, and you feel +worse and worse and worse until you expect an apoplectic fit to +happen any moment. If you go to a dance you have to find partners +for your wife, and if there is a shortage of them then you dance +the quadrilles yourself. You get back from the theatre or the dance +after midnight, when you are no longer a man but a useless, limp +rag. Well, at last you've got what you want; you unrobe and get +into bed. It's excellent--you can close your eyes and sleep. ... +Everything is so nice, poetic, and warm, you understand; there are +no children squealing behind the wall, and you've got rid of your +wife, and your conscience is clear--what more can you want? You +fall asleep--and suddenly ... you hear a buzz! ... Gnats! [Jumps +up] Gnats! Be they triply accursed Gnats! [Shakes his fist] Gnats! +It's one of the plagues of Egypt, one of the tortures of the +Inquisition! Buzz! It sounds so pitiful, so pathetic, as if it's +begging your pardon, but the villain stings so that you have to +scratch yourself for an hour after. You smoke, and go for them, and +cover yourself from head to foot, but it is no good! At last you +have to sacrifice yourself and let the cursed things devour you. +You've no sooner got used to the gnats when another plague begins: +downstairs your wife begins practising sentimental songs with her +two friends. They sleep by day and rehearse for amateur concerts by +night. Oh, my God! Those tenors are a torture with which no gnats +on earth can compare. [He sings] "Oh, tell me not my youth has +ruined you." "Before thee do I stand enchanted." Oh, the beastly +things! They've about killed me! So as to deafen myself a little I +do this: I drum on my ears. This goes on till four o'clock. Oh, +give me some more water, brother! ... I can't ... Well, not having +slept, you get up at six o'clock in the morning and off you go to +the station. You run so as not to be late, and it's muddy, foggy, +cold--brr! Then you get to town and start all over again. So there, +brother. It's a horrible life; I wouldn't wish one like it for my +enemy. You understand--I'm ill! Got asthma, heartburn--I'm always +afraid of something. I've got indigestion, everything is thick +before me ... I've become a regular psychopath. ... [Looking round] +Only, between ourselves, I want to go down to see Chechotte or +Merzheyevsky. There's some devil in me, brother. In moments of +despair and suffering, when the gnats are stinging or the tenors +sing, everything suddenly grows dim; you jump up and race round the +whole house like a lunatic and shout, "I want blood! Blood!" And +really all the time you do want to let a knife into somebody or hit +him over the head with a chair. That's what life in a summer villa +leads to! And nobody has any sympathy for me, and everybody seems +to think it's all as it should be. People even laugh. But +understand, I am a living being and I want to live! This isn't +farce, it's tragedy! I say, if you don't give me your revolver, you +might at any rate sympathize. + +MURASHKIN. I do sympathize. + +TOLKACHOV. I see how much you sympathize. ... Good-bye. I've got to +buy some anchovies and some sausage ... and some tooth-powder, and +then to the station. + +MURASHKIN. Where are you living? + +TOLKACHOV. At Carrion River. + +MURASHKIN. [Delighted] Really? Then you'll know Olga Pavlovna +Finberg, who lives there? + +TOLKACHOV. I know her. We are even acquainted. + +MURASHKIN. How perfectly splendid! That's so convenient, and it +would be so good of you ... + +TOLKACHOV. What's that? + +MURASHKIN. My dear fellow, wouldn't you do one little thing for me? +Be a friend! Promise me now. + +TOLKACHOV. What's that? + +MURASHKIN. It would be such a friendly action! I implore you, my +dear man. In the first place, give Olga Pavlovna my very kind +regards. In the second place, there's a little thing I'd like you +to take down to her. She asked me to get a sewing-machine but I +haven't anybody to send it down to her by. ... You take it, my +dear! And you might at the same time take down this canary in its +cage ... only be careful, or you'll break the door. ... What are +you looking at me like that for? + +TOLKACHOV. A sewing-machine ... a canary in a cage ... siskins, +chaffinches ... + +MURASHKIN. Ivan Ivanovitch, what's the matter with you? Why are you +turning purple? + +TOLKACHOV. [Stamping] Give me the sewing-machine! Where's the bird-cage? +Now get on top yourself! Eat me! Tear me to pieces! Kill me! +[Clenching his fists] I want blood! Blood! Blood! + +MURASHKIN. You've gone mad! + +TOLKACHOV. [Treading on his feet] I want blood! Blood! + +MURASHKIN. [In horror] He's gone mad! [Shouts] Peter! Maria! Where +are you? Help! + +TOLKACHOV. [Chasing him round the room] I want blood! Blood! + +Curtain. + + + +THE ANNIVERSARY + + +CHARACTERS + +ANDREY ANDREYEVITCH SHIPUCHIN, Chairman of the N---- Joint Stock +Bank, a middle-aged man, with a monocle +TATIANA ALEXEYEVNA, his wife, aged 25 +KUSMA NICOLAIEVITCH KHIRIN, the bank's aged book-keeper +NASTASYA FYODOROVNA MERCHUTKINA, an old woman wearing an old-fashioned +cloak +DIRECTORS OF THE BANK +EMPLOYEES OF THE BANK + +The action takes place at the Bank + + +THE ANNIVERSARY + +[The private office of the Chairman of Directors. On the left is a +door, leading into the public department. There are two desks. The +furniture aims at a deliberately luxurious effect, with armchairs +covered in velvet, flowers, statues, carpets, and a telephone. It +is midday. KHIRIN is alone; he wears long felt boots, and is +shouting through the door.] + +KHIRIN. Send out to the chemist for 15 copecks' worth of valerian +drops, and tell them to bring some drinking water into the +Directors' office! This is the hundredth time I've asked! [Goes to +a desk] I'm absolutely tired out. This is the fourth day I've been +working, without a chance of shutting my eyes. From morning to +evening I work here, from evening to morning at home. [Coughs] And +I've got an inflammation all over me. I'm hot and cold, and I +cough, and my legs ache, and there's something dancing before my +eyes. [Sits] Our scoundrel of a Chairman, the brute, is going to +read a report at a general meeting. "Our Bank, its Present and +Future." You'd think he was a Gambetta. ... [At work] Two ... one ... +one ... six ... nought ... seven. ... Next, six ... nought ... +one ... six. ... He just wants to throw dust into people's eyes, +and so I sit here and work for him like a galley-slave! This report +of his is poetic fiction and nothing more, and here I've got to sit +day after day and add figures, devil take his soul! [Rattles on his +counting-frame] I can't stand it! [Writing] That is, one ... three ... +seven ... two ... one ... nought. ... He promised to reward me for +my work. If everything goes well to-day and the public is properly +put into blinkers, he's promised me a gold charm and 300 roubles +bonus. ... We'll see. [Works] Yes, but if my work all goes for +nothing, then you'd better look out. ... I'm very excitable. ... If +I lose my temper I'm capable of committing some crime, so look out! +Yes! + +[Noise and applause behind the scenes. SHIPUCHIN'S voice: "Thank +you! Thank you! I am extremely grateful." Enter SHIPUCHIN. He wears +a frockcoat and white tie; he carries an album which has been just +presented to him.] + +SHIPUCHIN. [At the door, addresses the outer office] This present, +my dear colleagues, will be preserved to the day of my death, as a +memory of the happiest days of my life! Yes, gentlemen! Once more, +I thank you! [Throws a kiss into the air and turns to KHIRIN] My +dear, my respected Kusma Nicolaievitch! + +[All the time that SHIPUCHIN is on the stage, clerks intermittently +come in with papers for his signature and go out.] + +KHIRIN. [Standing up] I have the honour to congratulate you, Andrey +Andreyevitch, on the fiftieth anniversary of our Bank, and hope +that ... + +SHIPUCHIN. [Warmly shakes hands] Thank you, my dear sir! Thank you! +I think that in view of the unique character of the day, as it is +an anniversary, we may kiss each other! ... [They kiss] I am very, +very glad! Thank you for your service ... for everything! If, in +the course of the time during which I have had the honour to be +Chairman of this Bank anything useful has been done, the credit is +due, more than to anybody else, to my colleagues. [Sighs] Yes, +fifteen years! Fifteen years as my name's Shipuchin! [Changes his +tone] Where's my report? Is it getting on? + +KHIRIN. Yes; there's only five pages left. + +SHIPUCHIN. Excellent. Then it will be ready by three? + +KHIRIN. If nothing occurs to disturb me, I'll get it done. Nothing +of any importance is now left. + +SHIPUCHIN. Splendid. Splendid, as my name's Shipuchin! The general +meeting will be at four. If you please, my dear fellow. Give me the +first half, I'll peruse it. ... Quick. ... [Takes the report] I +base enormous hopes on this report. It's my _profession de foi_, +or, better still, my firework. [Note: The actual word employed.] My +firework, as my name's Shipuchin! [Sits and reads the report to +himself] I'm hellishly tired. ... My gout kept on giving me trouble +last night, all the morning I was running about, and then these +excitements, ovations, agitations ... I'm tired! + +KHIRIN. Two ... nought ... nought ... three ... nine ... two ... +nought. I can't see straight after all these figures. ... Three ... +one ... six ... four ... one ... five. ... [Uses the counting-frame.] + +SHIPUCHIN. Another unpleasantness. ... This morning your wife came +to see me and complained about you once again. Said that last night +you threatened her and her sister with a knife. Kusma Nicolaievitch, +what do you mean by that? Oh, oh! + +KHIRIN. [Rudely] As it's an anniversary, Andrey Andreyevitch, I'll +ask for a special favour. Please, even if it's only out of respect +for my toil, don't interfere in my family life. Please! + +SHIPUCHIN. [Sighs] Yours is an impossible character, Kusma +Nicolaievitch! You're an excellent and respected man, but you +behave to women like some scoundrel. Yes, really. I don't +understand why you hate them so? + +KHIRIN. I wish I could understand why you love them so! [Pause.] + +SHIPUCHIN. The employees have just presented me with an album; and +the Directors, as I've heard, are going to give me an address and a +silver loving-cup. ... [Playing with his monocle] Very nice, as my +name's Shipuchin! It isn't excessive. A certain pomp is essential +to the reputation of the Bank, devil take it! You know everything, +of course. ... I composed the address myself, and I bought the cup +myself, too. ... Well, then there was 45 roubles for the cover of +the address, but you can't do without that. They'd never have +thought of it for themselves. [Looks round] Look at the furniture! +Just look at it! They say I'm stingy, that all I want is that the +locks on the doors should be polished, that the employees should +wear fashionable ties, and that a fat hall-porter should stand by +the door. No, no, sirs. Polished locks and a fat porter mean a good +deal. I can behave as I like at home, eat and sleep like a pig, get +drunk. ... + +KHIRIN. Please don't make hints. + +SHIPUCHIN. Nobody's making hints! What an impossible character +yours is. ... As I was saying, at home I can live like a tradesman, +a _parvenu_, and be up to any games I like, but here everything +must be _en grand_. This is a Bank! Here every detail must +_imponiren_, so to speak, and have a majestic appearance. [He picks +up a paper from the floor and throws it into the fireplace] My +service to the Bank has been just this--I've raised its reputation. +A thing of immense importance is tone! Immense, as my name's +Shipuchin! [Looks over KHIRIN] My dear man, a deputation of +shareholders may come here any moment, and there you are in felt +boots, wearing a scarf ... in some absurdly coloured jacket. ... +You might have put on a frock-coat, or at any rate a dark jacket. ... + +KHIRIN. My health matters more to me than your shareholders. I've +an inflammation all over me. + +SHIPUCHIN. [Excitedly] But you will admit that it's untidy! You +spoil the _ensemble_! + +KHIRIN. If the deputation comes I can go and hide myself. It won't +matter if ... seven ... one ... seven ... two ... one ... five ... +nought. I don't like untidiness myself. ... Seven ... two ... nine ... +[Uses the counting-frame] I can't stand untidiness! It would have +been wiser of you not to have invited ladies to to-day's +anniversary dinner. ... + +SHIPUCHIN. Oh, that's nothing. + +KHIRIN. I know that you're going to have the hall filled with them +to-night to make a good show, but you look out, or they'll spoil +everything. They cause all sorts of mischief and disorder. + +SHIPUCHIN. On the contrary, feminine society elevates! + +KHIRIN. Yes. ... Your wife seems intelligent, but on the Monday of +last week she let something off that upset me for two days. In +front of a lot of people she suddenly asks: "Is it true that at our +Bank my husband bought up a lot of the shares of the Driazhsky-Priazhsky +Bank, which have been falling on exchange? My husband is so annoyed +about it!" This in front of people. Why do you tell them everything, +I don't understand. Do you want them to get you into serious trouble? + +SHIPUCHIN. Well, that's enough, enough! All that's too dull for an +anniversary. Which reminds me, by the way. [Looks at the time] My +wife ought to be here soon. I really ought to have gone to the +station, to meet the poor little thing, but there's no time. ... +and I'm tired. I must say I'm not glad of her! That is to say, I am +glad, but I'd be gladder if she only stayed another couple of days +with her mother. She'll want me to spend the whole evening with her +to-night, whereas we have arranged a little excursion for +ourselves. ... [Shivers] Oh, my nerves have already started dancing +me about. They are so strained that I think the very smallest +trifle would be enough to make me break into tears! No, I must be +strong, as my name's Shipuchin! + +[Enter TATIANA ALEXEYEVNA SHIPUCHIN in a waterproof, with a little +travelling satchel slung across her shoulder.] + +SHIPUCHIN. Ah! In the nick of time! + +TATIANA ALEXEYEVNA. Darling! + +[Runs to her husband: a prolonged kiss.] + +SHIPUCHIN. We were only speaking of you just now! [Looks at his +watch.] + +TATIANA ALEXEYEVNA. [Panting] Were you very dull without me? Are +you well? I haven't been home yet, I came here straight from the +station. I've a lot, a lot to tell you. ... I couldn't wait. ... I +shan't take off my clothes, I'll only stay a minute. [To KHIRIN] +Good morning, Kusma Nicolaievitch! [To her husband] Is everything +all right at home? + +SHIPUCHIN. Yes, quite. And, you know, you've got to look plumper +and better this week. ... Well, what sort of a time did you have? + +TATIANA ALEXEYEVNA. Splendid. Mamma and Katya send their regards. +Vassili Andreitch sends you a kiss. [Kisses him] Aunt sends you a +jar of jam, and is annoyed because you don't write. Zina sends you +a kiss. [Kisses.] Oh, if you knew what's happened. If you only +knew! I'm even frightened to tell you! Oh, if you only knew! But I +see by your eyes that you're sorry I came! + +SHIPUCHIN. On the contrary. ... Darling. ... [Kisses her.] + +[KHIRIN coughs angrily.] + +TATIANA ALEXEYEVNA. Oh, poor Katya, poor Katya! I'm so sorry for +her, so sorry for her. + +SHIPUCHIN. This is the Bank's anniversary to-day, darling, we may +get a deputation of the shareholders at any moment, and you're not +dressed. + +TATIANA ALEXEYEVNA. Oh, yes, the anniversary! I congratulate you, +gentlemen. I wish you. ... So it means that to-day's the day of the +meeting, the dinner. ... That's good. And do you remember that +beautiful address which you spent such a long time composing for +the shareholders? Will it be read to-day? + +[KHIRIN coughs angrily.] + +SHIPUCHIN. [Confused] My dear, we don't talk about these things. +You'd really better go home. + +TATIANA ALEXEYEVNA. In a minute, in a minute. I'll tell you +everything in one minute and go. I'll tell you from the very +beginning. Well. ... When you were seeing me off, you remember I +was sitting next to that stout lady, and I began to read. I don't +like to talk in the train. I read for three stations and didn't say +a word to anyone. ... Well, then the evening set in, and I felt so +mournful, you know, with such sad thoughts! A young man was sitting +opposite me--not a bad-looking fellow, a brunette. ... Well, we +fell into conversation. ... A sailor came along then, then some +student or other. ... [Laughs] I told them that I wasn't married ... +and they did look after me! We chattered till midnight, the +brunette kept on telling the most awfully funny stories, and the +sailor kept on singing. My chest began to ache from laughing. And +when the sailor--oh, those sailors!--when he got to know my name +was TATIANA, you know what he sang? [Sings in a bass voice] "Onegin +don't let me conceal it, I love Tatiana madly!" [Note: From the +Opera _Evgeni Onegin_--words by Pushkin.] [Roars with laughter.] + +[KHIRIN coughs angrily.] + +SHIPUCHIN. Tania, dear, you're disturbing Kusma Nicolaievitch. Go +home, dear. ... Later on. ... + +TATIANA ALEXEYEVNA. No, no, let him hear if he wants to, it's +awfully interesting. I'll end in a minute. Serezha came to meet me +at the station. Some young man or other turns up, an inspector of +taxes, I think ... quite handsome, especially his eyes. ... Serezha +introduced me, and the three of us rode off together. ... It was +lovely weather. ... + +[Voices behind the stage: "You can't, you can't! What do you want?" +Enter MERCHUTKINA, waving her arms about.] + +MERCHUTKINA. What are you dragging at me for. What else! I want him +himself! [To SHIPUCHIN] I have the honour, your excellency ... I am +the wife of a civil servant, Nastasya Fyodorovna Merchutkina. + +SHIPUCHIN. What do you want? + +MERCHUTKINA. Well, you see, your excellency, my husband has been +ill for five months, and while he was at home, getting better, he +was suddenly dismissed for no reason, your excellency, and when I +went to get his salary, they, you see, deducted 24 roubles 36 +copecks from it. What for? I ask. They said, "Well, he drew it from +the employees' account, and the others had to make it up." How can +that be? How could he draw anything without my permission? No, your +excellency! I'm a poor woman ... my lodgers are all I have to live +on. ... I'm weak and defenceless. ... Everybody does me some harm, +and nobody has a kind word for me. + +SHIPUCHIN. Excuse me. [Takes a petition from her and reads it +standing.] + +TATIANA ALEXEYEVNA. [To KHIRIN] Yes, but first we. ... Last week I +suddenly received a letter from my mother. She writes that a +certain Grendilevsky has proposed to my sister Katya. A nice, +modest, young man, but with no means of his own, and no assured +position. And, unfortunately, just think of it, Katya is absolutely +gone on him. What's to be done? Mamma writes telling me to come at +once and influence Katya. ... + +KHIRIN. [Angrily] Excuse me, you've made me lose my place! You go +talking about your mamma and Katya, and I understand nothing; and +I've lost my place. + +TATIANA ALEXEYEVNA. What does that matter? You listen when a lady +is talking to you! Why are you so angry to-day? Are you in love? +[Laughs.] + +SHIPUCHIN. [To MERCHUTKINA] Excuse me, but what is this? I can't +make head or tail of it. + +TATIANA ALEXEYEVNA. Are you in love? Aha! You're blushing! + +SHIPUCHIN. [To his wife] Tanya, dear, do go out into the public +office for a moment. I shan't be long. + +TATIANA ALEXEYEVNA. All right. [Goes out.] + +SHIPUCHIN. I don't understand anything of this. You've obviously +come to the wrong place, madam. Your petition doesn't concern us at +all. You should go to the department in which your husband was +employed. + +MERCHUTKINA. I've been there a good many times these five months, +and they wouldn't even look at my petition. I'd given up all hopes, +but, thanks to my son-in-law, Boris Matveyitch, I thought of coming +to you. "You go, mother," he says, "and apply to Mr. Shipuchin, +he's an influential man and can do anything." Help me, your +excellency! + +SHIPUCHIN. We can't do anything for you, Mrs. Merchutkina. You must +understand that your husband, so far as I can gather, was in the +employ of the Army Medical Department, while this is a private, +commercial concern, a bank. Don't you understand that? + +MERCHUTKINA. Your excellency, I can produce a doctor's certificate +of my husband's illness. Here it is, just look at it. ... + +SHIPUCHIN. [Irritated] That's all right; I quite believe you, but +it's not our business. [Behind the scene, TATIANA ALEXEYEVNA'S +laughter is heard, then a man's. SHIPUCHIN glances at the door] +She's disturbing the employees. [To MERCHUTKINA] It's strange and +it's even silly. Surely your husband knows where you ought to +apply? + +MERCHUTKINA. Your excellency, I don't let him know anything. He +just cried out: "It isn't your business! Get out of this!" And ... + +SHIPUCHIN. Madam, I repeat, your husband was in the employ of the +Army Medical Department, and this is a bank, a private, commercial +concern. + +MERCHUTKINA. Yes, yes, yes. ... I understand, my dear. In that +case, your excellency, just order them to pay me 15 roubles! I +don't mind taking that to be going on with. + +SHIPUCHIN. [Sighs] Ouf! + +KHIRIN. Andrey Andreyevitch, I'll never finish the report at this +rate! + +SHIPUCHIN. One moment. [To MERCHUTKINA] I can't get any sense out +of you. But do understand that your taking this business here is as +absurd as if you took a divorce petition to a chemist's or into a +gold assay office. [Knock at the door. The voice of TATIANA +ALEXEYEVNA is heard, "Can I come in, Andrey?" SHIPUCHIN shouts] +Just wait one minute, dear! [To MERCHUTKINA] What has it got to do +with us if you haven't been paid? As it happens, madam, this is an +anniversary to-day, we're busy ... and somebody may be coming here +at any moment. ... Excuse me. ... + +MERCHUTKINA. Your excellency, have pity on me, an orphan! I'm a +weak, defenceless woman. ... I'm tired to death . ... I'm having +trouble with my lodgers, and on account of my husband, and I've got +the house to look after, and my son-in-law is out of work. ... + +SHIPUCHIN. Mrs. Merchutkina, I ... No, excuse me, I can't talk to +you! My head's even in a whirl. ... You are disturbing us and +making us waste our time. [Sighs, aside] What a business, as my +name's Shipuchin! [To KHIRIN] Kusma Nicolaievitch, will you please +explain to Mrs. Merchutkina. [Waves his hand and goes out into +public department.] + +KHIRIN. [Approaching MERCHUTKINA, angrily] What do you want? + +MERCHUTKINA. I'm a weak, defenceless woman. ... I may look all +right, but if you were to take me to pieces you wouldn't find a +single healthy bit in me! I can hardly stand on my legs, and I've +lost my appetite. I drank my coffee to-day and got no pleasure out +of it. + +KHIRIN. I ask you, what do you want? + +MERCHUTKINA. Tell them, my dear, to give me 15 roubles, and a month +later will do for the rest. + +KHIRIN. But haven't you been told perfectly plainly that this is a +bank! + +MERCHUTKINA. Yes, yes. ... And if you like I can show you the +doctor's certificate. + +KHIRIN. Have you got a head on your shoulders, or what? + +MERCHUTKINA. My dear, I'm asking for what's mine by law. I don't +want what isn't mine. + +KHIRIN. I ask you, madam, have you got a head on your shoulders, or +what? Well, devil take me, I haven't any time to talk to you! I'm +busy. ... [Points to the door] That way, please! + +MERCHUTKINA. [Surprised] And where's the money? + +KHIRIN. You haven't a head, but this [Taps the table and then +points to his forehead.] + +MERCHUTKINA. [Offended] What? Well, never mind, never mind. ... You +can do that to your own wife, but I'm the wife of a civil servant. ... +You can't do that to me! + +KHIRIN. [Losing his temper] Get out of this! + +MERCHUTKINA. No, no, no ... none of that! + +KHIRIN. If you don't get out this second, I'll call for the +hall-porter! Get out! [Stamping.] + +MERCHUTKINA. Never mind, never mind! I'm not afraid! I've seen the +like of you before! Miser! + +KHIRIN. I don't think I've ever seen a more awful woman in my life. ... +Ouf! It's given me a headache. ... [Breathing heavily] I tell you +once more ... do you hear me? If you don't get out of this, you old +devil, I'll grind you into powder! I've got such a character that +I'm perfectly capable of laming you for life! I can commit a crime! + +MERCHUTKINA. I've heard barking dogs before. I'm not afraid. I've +seen the like of you before. + +KHIRIN. [In despair] I can't stand it! I'm ill! I can't! [Sits down +at his desk] They've let the Bank get filled with women, and I +can't finish my report! I can't. + +MERCHUTKINA. I don't want anybody else's money, but my own, +according to law. You ought to be ashamed of yourself! Sitting in a +government office in felt boots. ... + +[Enter SHIPUCHIN and TATIANA ALEXEYEVNA.] + +TATIANA ALEXEYEVNA. [Following her husband] We spent the evening at +the Berezhnitskys. Katya was wearing a sky-blue frock of foulard +silk, cut low at the neck. ... She looks very well with her hair +done over her head, and I did her hair myself. ... She was +perfectly fascinating. ... + +SHIPUCHIN. [Who has had enough of it already] Yes, yes ... +fascinating. ... They may be here any moment. ... + +MERCHUTKINA. Your excellency! + +SHIPUCHIN. [Dully] What else? What do you want? + +MERCHUTKINA. Your excellency! [Points to KHIRIN] This man ... this +man tapped the table with his finger, and then his head. ... You +told him to look after my affair, but he insults me and says all +sorts of things. I'm a weak, defenceless woman. ... + +SHIPUCHIN. All right, madam, I'll see to it ... and take the +necessary steps. ... Go away now ... later on! [Aside] My gout's +coming on! + +KHIRIN. [In a low tone to SHIPUCHIN] Andrey Andreyevitch, send for +the hall-porter and have her turned out neck and crop! What else +can we do? + +SHIPUCHIN. [Frightened] No, no! She'll kick up a row and we aren't +the only people in the building. + +MERCHUTKINA. Your excellency. + +KHIRIN. [In a tearful voice] But I've got to finish my report! I +won't have time! I won't! + +MERCHUTKINA. Your excellency, when shall I have the money? I want +it now. + +SHIPUCHIN. [Aside, in dismay] A re-mark-ab-ly beastly woman! +[Politely] Madam, I've already told you, this is a bank, a private, +commercial concern. + +MERCHUTKINA. Be a father to me, your excellency. ... If the +doctor's certificate isn't enough, I can get you another from the +police. Tell them to give me the money! + +SHIPUCHIN. [Panting] Ouf! + +TATIANA ALEXEYEVNA. [To MERCHUTKINA] Mother, haven't you already +been told that you're disturbing them? What right have you? + +MERCHUTKINA. Mother, beautiful one, nobody will help me. All I do +is to eat and drink, and just now I didn't enjoy my coffee at all. + +SHIPUCHIN. [Exhausted] How much do you want? + +MERCHUTKINA. 24 roubles 36 copecks. + +SHIPUCHIN. All right! [Takes a 25-rouble note out of his pocket-book +and gives it to her] Here are 25 roubles. Take it and ... go! + +[KHIRIN coughs angrily.] + +MERCHUTKINA. I thank you very humbly, your excellency. [Hides the +money.] + +TATIANA ALEXEYEVNA. [Sits by her husband] It's time I went home. ... +[Looks at watch] But I haven't done yet. ... I'll finish in one +minute and go away. ... What a time we had! Yes, what a time! We +went to spend the evening at the Berezhnitskys. ... It was all +right, quite fun, but nothing in particular. ... Katya's devoted +Grendilevsky was there, of course. ... Well, I talked to Katya, +cried, and induced her to talk to Grendilevsky and refuse him. +Well, I thought, everything's, settled the best possible way; I've +quieted mamma down, saved Katya, and can be quiet myself. ... What +do you think? Katya and I were going along the avenue, just before +supper, and suddenly ... [Excitedly] And suddenly we heard a shot. ... +No, I can't talk about it calmly! [Waves her handkerchief] No, I +can't! + +SHIPUCHIN. [Sighs] Ouf! + +TATIANA ALEXEYEVNA. [Weeps] We ran to the summer-house, and there ... +there poor Grendilevsky was lying ... with a pistol in his hand. ... + +SHIPUCHIN. No, I can't stand this! I can't stand it! [To +MERCHUTKINA] What else do you want? + +MERCHUTKINA. Your excellency, can't my husband go back to his job? + +TATIANA ALEXEYEVNA. [Weeping] He'd shot himself right in the heart ... +here. ... And the poor man had fallen down senseless. ... And he +was awfully frightened, as he lay there ... and asked for a doctor. +A doctor came soon ... and saved the unhappy man. ... + +MERCHUTKINA. Your excellency, can't my husband go back to his job? + +SHIPUCHIN. No, I can't stand this! [Weeps] I can't stand it! +[Stretches out both his hands in despair to KHIRIN] Drive her away! +Drive her away, I implore you! + +KHIRIN. [Goes up to TATIANA ALEXEYEVNA] Get out of this! + +SHIPUCHIN. Not her, but this one ... this awful woman. ... [Points] +That one! + +KHIRIN. [Not understanding, to TATIANA ALEXEYEVNA] Get out of this! +[Stamps] Get out! + +TATIANA ALEXEYEVNA. What? What are you doing? Have you taken leave +of your senses? + +SHIPUCHIN. It's awful? I'm a miserable man! Drive her out! Out with +her! + +KHIRIN. [To TATIANA ALEXEYEVNA] Out of it! I'll cripple you! I'll +knock you out of shape! I'll break the law! + +TATIANA ALEXEYEVNA. [Running from him; he chases her] How dare you! +You impudent fellow! [Shouts] Andrey! Help! Andrey! [Screams.] + +SHIPUCHIN. [Chasing them] Stop! I implore you! Not such a noise? +Have pity on me! + +KHIRIN. [Chasing MERCHUTKINA] Out of this! Catch her! Hit her! Cut +her into pieces! + +SHIPUCHIN. [Shouts] Stop! I ask you! I implore you! + +MERCHUTKINA. Little fathers ... little fathers! [Screams] Little +fathers! ... + +TATIANA ALEXEYEVNA. [Shouts] Help! Help! ... Oh, oh ... I'm sick, +I'm sick! [Jumps on to a chair, then falls on to the sofa and +groans as if in a faint.] + +KHIRIN. [Chasing MERCHUTKINA] Hit her! Beat her! Cut her to pieces! + +MERCHUTKINA. Oh, oh ... little fathers, it's all dark before me! +Ah! [Falls senseless into SHIPUCHIN'S arms. There is a knock at the +door; a VOICE announces THE DEPUTATION] The deputation ... +reputation ... occupation ... + +KHIRIN. [Stamps] Get out of it, devil take me! [Turns up his +sleeves] Give her to me: I may break the law! + +[A deputation of five men enters; they all wear frockcoats. One +carries the velvet-covered address, another, the loving-cup. +Employees look in at the door, from the public department. TATIANA +ALEXEYEVNA on the sofa, and MERCHUTKINA in SHIPUCHIN'S arms are +both groaning.] + +ONE OF THE DEPUTATION. [Reads aloud] "Deeply respected and dear +Andrey Andreyevitch! Throwing a retrospective glance at the past +history of our financial administration, and reviewing in our minds +its gradual development, we receive an extremely satisfactory +impression. It is true that in the first period of its existence, +the inconsiderable amount of its capital, and the absence of +serious operations of any description, and also the indefinite aims +of this bank, made us attach an extreme importance to the question +raised by Hamlet, 'To be or not to be,' and at one time there were +even voices to be heard demanding our liquidation. But at that +moment you become the head of our concern. Your knowledge, +energies, and your native tact were the causes of extraordinary +success and widespread extension. The reputation of the bank ... +[Coughs] reputation of the bank ... + +MERCHUTKINA. [Groans] Oh! Oh! + +TATIANA ALEXEYEVNA. [Groans] Water! Water! + +THE MEMBER OF THE DEPUTATION. [Continues] The reputation [Coughs] ... +the reputation of the bank has been raised by you to such a height +that we are now the rivals of the best foreign concerns. + +SHIPUCHIN. Deputation ... reputation ... occupation. ... Two +friends that had a walk at night, held converse by the pale +moonlight. ... Oh tell me not, that youth is vain, that jealousy +has turned my brain. + +THE MEMBER OF THE DEPUTATION. [Continues in confusion] Then, +throwing an objective glance at the present condition of things, +we, deeply respected and dear Andrey Andreyevitch ... [Lowering his +voice] In that case, we'll do it later on. ... Yes, later on. ..." +[DEPUTATION goes out in confusion.] + +Curtain. + + + +THE THREE SISTERS +A DRAMA IN FOUR ACTS + + +CHARACTERS + +ANDREY SERGEYEVITCH PROSOROV +NATALIA IVANOVA (NATASHA), his fiance, later his wife (28) +His sisters: +OLGA +MASHA +IRINA +FEODOR ILITCH KULIGIN, high school teacher, married to MASHA (20) +ALEXANDER IGNATEYEVITCH VERSHININ, lieutenant-colonel in charge of +a battery (42) +NICOLAI LVOVITCH TUZENBACH, baron, lieutenant in the army (30) +VASSILI VASSILEVITCH SOLENI, captain +IVAN ROMANOVITCH CHEBUTIKIN, army doctor (60) +ALEXEY PETROVITCH FEDOTIK, sub-lieutenant +VLADIMIR CARLOVITCH RODE, sub-lieutenant +FERAPONT, door-keeper at local council offices, an old man +ANFISA, nurse (80) + + +The action takes place in a provincial town. + +[Ages are stated in brackets.] + +THE THREE SISTERS + + +ACT I + +[In PROSOROV'S house. A sitting-room with pillars; behind is seen a +large dining-room. It is midday, the sun is shining brightly +outside. In the dining-room the table is being laid for lunch.] + +[OLGA, in the regulation blue dress of a teacher at a girl's high +school, is walking about correcting exercise books; MASHA, in a +black dress, with a hat on her knees, sits and reads a book; IRINA, +in white, stands about, with a thoughtful expression.] + +OLGA. It's just a year since father died last May the fifth, on +your name-day, Irina. It was very cold then, and snowing. I thought +I would never survive it, and you were in a dead faint. And now a +year has gone by and we are already thinking about it without pain, +and you are wearing a white dress and your face is happy. [Clock +strikes twelve] And the clock struck just the same way then. +[Pause] I remember that there was music at the funeral, and they +fired a volley in the cemetery. He was a general in command of a +brigade but there were few people present. Of course, it was +raining then, raining hard, and snowing. + +IRINA. Why think about it! + +[BARON TUZENBACH, CHEBUTIKIN and SOLENI appear by the table in the +dining-room, behind the pillars.] + +OLGA. It's so warm to-day that we can keep the windows open, though +the birches are not yet in flower. Father was put in command of a +brigade, and he rode out of Moscow with us eleven years ago. I +remember perfectly that it was early in May and that everything in +Moscow was flowering then. It was warm too, everything was bathed +in sunshine. Eleven years have gone, and I remember everything as +if we rode out only yesterday. Oh, God! When I awoke this morning +and saw all the light and the spring, joy entered my heart, and I +longed passionately to go home. + +CHEBUTIKIN. Will you take a bet on it? + +TUZENBACH. Oh, nonsense. + +[MASHA, lost in a reverie over her book, whistles softly.] + +OLGA. Don't whistle, Masha. How can you! [Pause] I'm always having +headaches from having to go to the High School every day and then +teach till evening. Strange thoughts come to me, as if I were +already an old woman. And really, during these four years that I +have been working here, I have been feeling as if every day my +strength and youth have been squeezed out of me, drop by drop. And +only one desire grows and gains in strength ... + +IRINA. To go away to Moscow. To sell the house, drop everything +here, and go to Moscow ... + +OLGA. Yes! To Moscow, and as soon as possible. + +[CHEBUTIKIN and TUZENBACH laugh.] + +IRINA. I expect Andrey will become a professor, but still, he won't +want to live here. Only poor Masha must go on living here. + +OLGA. Masha can come to Moscow every year, for the whole summer. + +[MASHA is whistling gently.] + +IRINA. Everything will be arranged, please God. [Looks out of the +window] It's nice out to-day. I don't know why I'm so happy: I +remembered this morning that it was my name-day, and I suddenly +felt glad and remembered my childhood, when mother was still with +us. What beautiful thoughts I had, what thoughts! + +OLGA. You're all radiance to-day, I've never seen you look so +lovely. And Masha is pretty, too. Andrey wouldn't be bad-looking, +if he wasn't so stout; it does spoil his appearance. But I've grown +old and very thin, I suppose it's because I get angry with the +girls at school. To-day I'm free. I'm at home. I haven't got a +headache, and I feel younger than I was yesterday. I'm only +twenty-eight. ... All's well, God is everywhere, but it seems to me +that if only I were married and could stay at home all day, it +would be even better. [Pause] I should love my husband. + +TUZENBACH. [To SOLENI] I'm tired of listening to the rot you talk. +[Entering the sitting-room] I forgot to say that Vershinin, our new +lieutenant-colonel of artillery, is coming to see us to-day. [Sits +down to the piano.] + +OLGA. That's good. I'm glad. + +IRINA. Is he old? + +TUZENBACH. Oh, no. Forty or forty-five, at the very outside. [Plays +softly] He seems rather a good sort. He's certainly no fool, only +he likes to hear himself speak. + +IRINA. Is he interesting? + +TUZENBACH. Oh, he's all right, but there's his wife, his mother-in-law, +and two daughters. This is his second wife. He pays calls and tells +everybody that he's got a wife and two daughters. He'll tell you so +here. The wife isn't all there, she does her hair like a flapper +and gushes extremely. She talks philosophy and tries to commit +suicide every now and again, apparently in order to annoy her +husband. I should have left her long ago, but he bears up +patiently, and just grumbles. + +SOLENI. [Enters with CHEBUTIKIN from the dining-room] With one hand +I can only lift fifty-four pounds, but with both hands I can lift +180, or even 200 pounds. From this I conclude that two men are not +twice as strong as one, but three times, perhaps even more. ... + +CHEBUTIKIN. [Reads a newspaper as he walks] If your hair is coming +out ... take an ounce of naphthaline and hail a bottle of spirit ... +dissolve and use daily. ... [Makes a note in his pocket diary] When +found make a note of! Not that I want it though. ... [Crosses it +out] It doesn't matter. + +IRINA. Ivan Romanovitch, dear Ivan Romanovitch! + +CHEBUTIKIN. What does my own little girl want? + +IRINA. Ivan Romanovitch, dear Ivan Romanovitch! I feel as if I were +sailing under the broad blue sky with great white birds around me. +Why is that? Why? + +CHEBUTIKIN. [Kisses her hands, tenderly] My white bird. ... + +IRINA. When I woke up to-day and got up and dressed myself, I +suddenly began to feel as if everything in this life was open to +me, and that I knew how I must live. Dear Ivan Romanovitch, I know +everything. A man must work, toil in the sweat of his brow, whoever +he may be, for that is the meaning and object of his life, his +happiness, his enthusiasm. How fine it is to be a workman who gets +up at daybreak and breaks stones in the street, or a shepherd, or a +schoolmaster, who teaches children, or an engine-driver on the +railway. ... My God, let alone a man, it's better to be an ox, or +just a horse, so long as it can work, than a young woman who wakes +up at twelve o'clock, has her coffee in bed, and then spends two +hours dressing. ... Oh it's awful! Sometimes when it's hot, your +thirst can be just as tiresome as my need for work. And if I don't +get up early in future and work, Ivan Romanovitch, then you may +refuse me your friendship. + +CHEBUTIKIN. [Tenderly] I'll refuse, I'll refuse. ... + +OLGA. Father used to make us get up at seven. Now Irina wakes at +seven and lies and meditates about something till nine at least. +And she looks so serious! [Laughs.] + +IRINA. You're so used to seeing me as a little girl that it seems +queer to you when my face is serious. I'm twenty! + +TUZENBACH. How well I can understand that craving for work, oh God! +I've never worked once in my life. I was born in Petersburg, a +chilly, lazy place, in a family which never knew what work or worry +meant. I remember that when I used to come home from my regiment, a +footman used to have to pull off my boots while I fidgeted and my +mother looked on in adoration and wondered why other people didn't +see me in the same light. They shielded me from work; but only just +in time! A new age is dawning, the people are marching on us all, a +powerful, health-giving storm is gathering, it is drawing near, +soon it will be upon us and it will drive away laziness, +indifference, the prejudice against labour, and rotten dullness +from our society. I shall work, and in twenty-five or thirty years, +every man will have to work. Every one! + +CHEBUTIKIN. I shan't work. + +TUZENBACH. You don't matter. + +SOLENI. In twenty-five years' time, we shall all be dead, thank the +Lord. In two or three years' time apoplexy will carry you off, or +else I'll blow your brains out, my pet. [Takes a scent-bottle out +of his pocket and sprinkles his chest and hands.] + +CHEBUTIKIN. [Laughs] It's quite true, I never have worked. After I +came down from the university I never stirred a finger or opened a +book, I just read the papers. ... [Takes another newspaper out of +his pocket] Here we are. ... I've learnt from the papers that there +used to be one, Dobrolubov [Note: Dobroluboy (1836-81), in spite +of the shortness of his career, established himself as one of the +classic literary critics of Russia], for instance, but what he +wrote--I don't know ... God only knows. ... [Somebody is heard +tapping on the floor from below] There. ... They're calling me +downstairs, somebody's come to see me. I'll be back in a minute ... +won't be long. ... [Exit hurriedly, scratching his beard.] + +IRINA. He's up to something. + +TUZENBACH. Yes, he looked so pleased as he went out that I'm pretty +certain he'll bring you a present in a moment. + +IRINA. How unpleasant! + +OLGA. Yes, it's awful. He's always doing silly things. + +MASHA. "There stands a green oak by the sea. + And a chain of bright gold is around it ... + And a chain of bright gold is around it. ..." +[Gets up and sings softly.] + +OLGA. You're not very bright to-day, Masha. [MASHA sings, putting +on her hat] Where are you off to? + +MASHA. Home. + +IRINA. That's odd. ... + +TUZENBACH. On a name-day, too! + +MASHA. It doesn't matter. I'll come in the evening. Good-bye, dear. +[Kisses MASHA] Many happy returns, though I've said it before. In +the old days when father was alive, every time we had a name-day, +thirty or forty officers used to come, and there was lots of noise +and fun, and to-day there's only a man and a half, and it's as +quiet as a desert ... I'm off ... I've got the hump to-day, and am +not at all cheerful, so don't you mind me. [Laughs through her +tears] We'll have a talk later on, but good-bye for the present, my +dear; I'll go somewhere. + +IRINA. [Displeased] You are queer. ... + +OLGA. [Crying] I understand you, Masha. + +SOLENI. When a man talks philosophy, well, it is philosophy or at +any rate sophistry; but when a woman, or two women, talk +philosophy--it's all my eye. + +MASHA. What do you mean by that, you very awful man? + +SOLENI. Oh, nothing. You came down on me before I could say ... +help! [Pause.] + +MASHA. [Angrily, to OLGA] Don't cry! + +[Enter ANFISA and FERAPONT with a cake.] + +ANFISA. This way, my dear. Come in, your feet are clean. [To IRINA] +From the District Council, from Mihail Ivanitch Protopopov ... a +cake. + +IRINA. Thank you. Please thank him. [Takes the cake.] + +FERAPONT. What? + +IRINA. [Louder] Please thank him. + +OLGA. Give him a pie, nurse. Ferapont, go, she'll give you a pie. + +FERAPONT. What? + +ANFISA. Come on, gran'fer, Ferapont Spiridonitch. Come on. +[Exeunt.] + +MASHA. I don't like this Mihail Potapitch or Ivanitch, Protopopov. +We oughtn't to invite him here. + +IRINA. I never asked him. + +MASHA. That's all right. + +[Enter CHEBUTIKIN followed by a soldier with a silver samovar; +there is a rumble of dissatisfied surprise.] + +OLGA. [Covers her face with her hands] A samovar! That's awful! +[Exit into the dining-room, to the table.] + +IRINA. My dear Ivan Romanovitch, what are you doing! + +TUZENBACH. [Laughs] I told you so! + +MASHA. Ivan Romanovitch, you are simply shameless! + +CHEBUTIKIN. My dear good girl, you are the only thing, and the +dearest thing I have in the world. I'll soon be sixty. I'm an old +man, a lonely worthless old man. The only good thing in me is my +love for you, and if it hadn't been for that, I would have been +dead long ago. ... [To IRINA] My dear little girl, I've known you +since the day of your birth, I've carried you in my arms ... I +loved your dead mother. ... + +MASHA. But your presents are so expensive! + +CHEBUTIKIN. [Angrily, through his tears] Expensive presents. ... +You really, are! ... [To the orderly] Take the samovar in there. ... +[Teasing] Expensive presents! + +[The orderly goes into the dining-room with the samovar.] + +ANFISA. [Enters and crosses stage] My dear, there's a strange +Colonel come! He's taken off his coat already. Children, he's +coming here. Irina darling, you'll be a nice and polite little +girl, won't you. ... Should have lunched a long time ago. ... Oh, +Lord. ... [Exit.] + +TUZENBACH. It must be Vershinin. [Enter VERSHININ] Lieutenant-Colonel +Vershinin! + +VERSHININ. [To MASHA and IRINA] I have the honour to introduce +myself, my name is Vershinin. I am very glad indeed to be able to +come at last. How you've grown! Oh! oh! + +IRINA. Please sit down. We're very glad you've come. + +VERSHININ. [Gaily] I am glad, very glad! But there are three +sisters, surely. I remember--three little girls. I forget your +faces, but your father, Colonel Prosorov, used to have three little +girls, I remember that perfectly, I saw them with my own eyes. How +time does fly! Oh, dear, how it flies! + +TUZENBACH. Alexander Ignateyevitch comes from Moscow. + +IRINA. From Moscow? Are you from Moscow? + +VERSHININ. Yes, that's so. Your father used to be in charge of a +battery there, and I was an officer in the same brigade. [To MASHA] +I seem to remember your face a little. + +MASHA. I don't remember you. + +IRINA. Olga! Olga! [Shouts into the dining-room] Olga! Come along! +[OLGA enters from the dining-room] Lieutenant Colonel Vershinin +comes from Moscow, as it happens. + +VERSHININ. I take it that you are Olga Sergeyevna, the eldest, and +that you are Maria ... and you are Irina, the youngest. ... + +OLGA. So you come from Moscow? + +VERSHININ. Yes. I went to school in Moscow and began my service +there; I was there for a long time until at last I got my battery +and moved over here, as you see. I don't really remember you, I +only remember that there used to be three sisters. I remember your +father well; I have only to shut my eyes to see him as he was. I +used to come to your house in Moscow. ... + +OLGA. I used to think I remembered everybody, but ... + +VERSHININ. My name is Alexander Ignateyevitch. + +IRINA. Alexander Ignateyevitch, you've come from Moscow. That is +really quite a surprise! + +OLGA. We are going to live there, you see. + +IRINA. We think we may be there this autumn. It's our native town, +we were born there. In Old Basmanni Road. ... [They both laugh for +joy.] + +MASHA. We've unexpectedly met a fellow countryman. [Briskly] I +remember: Do you remember, Olga, they used to speak at home of a +"lovelorn Major." You were only a Lieutenant then, and in love with +somebody, but for some reason they always called you a Major for +fun. + +VERSHININ. [Laughs] That's it ... the lovelorn Major, that's got it! + +MASHA. You only wore moustaches then. You have grown older! +[Through her tears] You have grown older! + +VERSHININ. Yes, when they used to call me the lovelorn Major, I was +young and in love. I've grown out of both now. + +OLGA. But you haven't a single white hair yet. You're older, but +you're not yet old. + +VERSHININ. I'm forty-two, anyway. Have you been away from Moscow +long? + +IRINA. Eleven years. What are you crying for, Masha, you little +fool. ... [Crying] And I'm crying too. + +MASHA. It's all right. And where did you live? + +VERSHININ. Old Basmanni Road. + +OLGA. Same as we. + +VERSHININ. Once I used to live in German Street. That was when the +Red Barracks were my headquarters. There's an ugly bridge in +between, where the water rushes underneath. One gets melancholy +when one is alone there. [Pause] Here the river is so wide and +fine! It's a splendid river! + +OLGA. Yes, but it's so cold. It's very cold here, and the midges. ... + +VERSHININ. What are you saying! Here you've got such a fine healthy +Russian climate. You've a forest, a river ... and birches. Dear, +modest birches, I like them more than any other tree. It's good to +live here. Only it's odd that the railway station should be +thirteen miles away. ... Nobody knows why. + +SOLENI. I know why. [All look at him] Because if it was near it +wouldn't be far off, and if it's far off, it can't be near. [An +awkward pause.] + +TUZENBACH. Funny man. + +OLGA. Now I know who you are. I remember. + +VERSHININ. I used to know your mother. + +CHEBUTIKIN. She was a good woman, rest her soul. + +IRINA. Mother is buried in Moscow. + +OLGA. At the Novo-Devichi Cemetery. + +MASHA. Do you know, I'm beginning to forget her face. We'll be +forgotten in just the same way. + +VERSHININ. Yes, they'll forget us. It's our fate, it can't be +helped. A time will come when everything that seems serious, +significant, or very important to us will be forgotten, or +considered trivial. [Pause] And the curious thing is that we can't +possibly find out what will come to be regarded as great and +important, and what will be feeble, or silly. Didn't the +discoveries of Copernicus, or Columbus, say, seem unnecessary and +ludicrous at first, while wasn't it thought that some rubbish +written by a fool, held all the truth? And it may so happen that +our present existence, with which we are so satisfied, will in time +appear strange, inconvenient, stupid, unclean, perhaps even sinful. ... + +TUZENBACH. Who knows? But on the other hand, they may call our life +noble and honour its memory. We've abolished torture and capital +punishment, we live in security, but how much suffering there is +still! + +SOLENI. [In a feeble voice] There, there. ... The Baron will go +without his dinner if you only let him talk philosophy. + +TUZENBACH. Vassili Vassilevitch, kindly leave me alone. [Changes +his chair] You're very dull, you know. + +SOLENI. [Feebly] There, there, there. + +TUZENBACH. [To VERSHININ] The sufferings we see to-day--there are +so many of them!--still indicate a certain moral improvement in +society. + +VERSHININ. Yes, yes, of course. + +CHEBUTIKIN. You said just now, Baron, that they may call our life +noble; but we are very petty. ... [Stands up] See how little I am. +[Violin played behind.] + +MASHA. That's Andrey playing--our brother. + +IRINA. He's the learned member of the family. I expect he will be a +professor some day. Father was a soldier, but his son chose an +academic career for himself. + +MASHA. That was father's wish. + +OLGA. We ragged him to-day. We think he's a little in love. + +IRINA. To a local lady. She will probably come here to-day. + +MASHA. You should see the way she dresses! Quite prettily, quite +fashionably too, but so badly! Some queer bright yellow skirt with +a wretched little fringe and a red bodice. And such a complexion! +Andrey isn't in love. After all he has taste, he's simply making +fun of us. I heard yesterday that she was going to marry +Protopopov, the chairman of the Local Council. That would do her +nicely. ... [At the side door] Andrey, come here! Just for a +minute, dear! [Enter ANDREY.] + +OLGA. My brother, Andrey Sergeyevitch. + +VERSHININ. My name is Vershinin. + +ANDREY. Mine is Prosorov. [Wipes his perspiring hands] You've come +to take charge of the battery? + +OLGA. Just think, Alexander Ignateyevitch comes from Moscow. + +ANDREY. That's all right. Now my little sisters won't give you any +rest. + +VERSHININ. I've already managed to bore your sisters. + +IRINA. Just look what a nice little photograph frame Andrey gave me +to-day. [Shows it] He made it himself. + +VERSHININ. [Looks at the frame and does not know what to say] Yes. ... +It's a thing that ... + +IRINA. And he made that frame there, on the piano as well. [Andrey +waves his hand and walks away.] + +OLGA. He's got a degree, and plays the violin, and cuts all sorts +of things out of wood, and is really a domestic Admirable Crichton. +Don't go away, Andrey! He's got into a habit of always going away. +Come here! + +[MASHA and IRINA take his arms and laughingly lead him back.] + +MASHA. Come on, come on! + +ANDREY. Please leave me alone. + +MASHA. You are funny. Alexander Ignateyevitch used to be called the +lovelorn Major, but he never minded. + +VERSHININ. Not the least. + +MASHA. I'd like to call you the lovelorn fiddler! + +IRINA. Or the lovelorn professor! + +OLGA. He's in love! little Andrey is in love! + +IRINA. [Applauds] Bravo, Bravo! Encore! Little Andrey is in love. + +CHEBUTIKIN. [Goes up behind ANDREY and takes him round the waist +with both arms] Nature only brought us into the world that we +should love! [Roars with laughter, then sits down and reads a +newspaper which he takes out of his pocket.] + +ANDREY. That's enough, quite enough. ... [Wipes his face] I +couldn't sleep all night and now I can't quite find my feet, so to +speak. I read until four o'clock, then tried to sleep, but nothing +happened. I thought about one thing and another, and then it dawned +and the sun crawled into my bedroom. This summer, while I'm here, I +want to translate a book from the English. ... + +VERSHININ. Do you read English? + +ANDREY. Yes father, rest his soul, educated us almost violently. It +may seem funny and silly, but it's nevertheless true, that after +his death I began to fill out and get rounder, as if my body had +had some great pressure taken off it. Thanks to father, my sisters +and I know French, German, and English, and Irina knows Italian as +well. But we paid dearly for it all! + +MASHA. A knowledge of three languages is an unnecessary luxury in +this town. It isn't even a luxury but a sort of useless extra, like +a sixth finger. We know a lot too much. + +VERSHININ. Well, I say! [Laughs] You know a lot too much! I don't +think there can really be a town so dull and stupid as to have no +place for a clever, cultured person. Let us suppose even that among +the hundred thousand inhabitants of this backward and uneducated +town, there are only three persons like yourself. It stands to +reason that you won't be able to conquer that dark mob around you; +little by little as you grow older you will be bound to give way +and lose yourselves in this crowd of a hundred thousand human +beings; their life will suck you up in itself, but still, you won't +disappear having influenced nobody; later on, others like you will +come, perhaps six of them, then twelve, and so on, until at last +your sort will be in the majority. In two or three hundred years' +time life on this earth will be unimaginably beautiful and +wonderful. Mankind needs such a life, and if it is not ours to-day +then we must look ahead for it, wait, think, prepare for it. We +must see and know more than our fathers and grandfathers saw and +knew. [Laughs] And you complain that you know too much. + +MASHA. [Takes off her hat] I'll stay to lunch. + +IRINA. [Sighs] Yes, all that ought to be written down. + +[ANDREY has gone out quietly.] + +TUZENBACH. You say that many years later on, life on this earth +will be beautiful and wonderful. That's true. But to share in it +now, even though at a distance, we must prepare by work. ... + +VERSHININ. [Gets up] Yes. What a lot of flowers you have. [Looks +round] It's a beautiful flat. I envy you! I've spent my whole life +in rooms with two chairs, one sofa, and fires which always smoke. +I've never had flowers like these in my life. ... [Rubs his hands] +Well, well! + +TUZENBACH. Yes, we must work. You are probably thinking to +yourself: the German lets himself go. But I assure you I'm a +Russian, I can't even speak German. My father belonged to the +Orthodox Church. ... [Pause.] + +VERSHININ. [Walks about the stage] I often wonder: suppose we could +begin life over again, knowing what we were doing? Suppose we could +use one life, already ended, as a sort of rough draft for another? +I think that every one of us would try, more than anything else, +not to repeat himself, at the very least he would rearrange his +manner of life, he would make sure of rooms like these, with +flowers and light ... I have a wife and two daughters, my wife's +health is delicate and so on and so on, and if I had to begin life +all over again I would not marry. ... No, no! + +[Enter KULIGIN in a regulation jacket.] + +KULIGIN. [Going up to IRINA] Dear sister, allow me to congratulate +you on the day sacred to your good angel and to wish you, sincerely +and from the bottom of my heart, good health and all that one can +wish for a girl of your years. And then let me offer you this book +as a present. [Gives it to her] It is the history of our High +School during the last fifty years, written by myself. The book is +worthless, and written because I had nothing to do, but read it all +the same. Good day, gentlemen! [To VERSHININ] My name is Kuligin, I +am a master of the local High School. [Note: He adds that he is a +_Nadvorny Sovetnik_ (almost the same as a German _Hofrat_), an +undistinguished civilian title with no English equivalent.] [To +IRINA] In this book you will find a list of all those who have +taken the full course at our High School during these fifty years. +_Feci quod potui, faciant meliora potentes_. [Kisses MASHA.] + +IRINA. But you gave me one of these at Easter. + +KULIGIN. [Laughs] I couldn't have, surely! You'd better give it +back to me in that case, or else give it to the Colonel. Take it, +Colonel. You'll read it some day when you're bored. + +VERSHININ. Thank you. [Prepares to go] I am extremely happy to have +made the acquaintance of ... + +OLGA. Must you go? No, not yet? + +IRINA. You'll stop and have lunch with us. Please do. + +OLGA. Yes, please! + +VERSHININ. [Bows] I seem to have dropped in on your name-day. Forgive +me, I didn't know, and I didn't offer you my congratulations. [Goes +with OLGA into the dining-room.] + +KULIGIN. To-day is Sunday, the day of rest, so let us rest and +rejoice, each in a manner compatible with his age and disposition. +The carpets will have to be taken up for the summer and put away +till the winter ... Persian powder or naphthaline. ... The Romans +were healthy because they knew both how to work and how to rest, +they had _mens sana in corpore sano_. Their life ran along certain +recognized patterns. Our director says: "The chief thing about each +life is its pattern. Whoever loses his pattern is lost himself"-- +and it's just the same in our daily life. [Takes MASHA by the +waist, laughing] Masha loves me. My wife loves me. And you ought to +put the window curtains away with the carpets. ... I'm feeling +awfully pleased with life to-day. Masha, we've got to be at the +director's at four. They're getting up a walk for the pedagogues +and their families. + +MASHA. I shan't go. + +KULIGIN. [Hurt] My dear Masha, why not? + +MASHA. I'll tell you later. ... [Angrily] All right, I'll go, only +please stand back. ... [Steps away.] + +KULIGIN. And then we're to spend the evening at the director's. In +spite of his ill-health that man tries, above everything else, to +be sociable. A splendid, illuminating personality. A wonderful man. +After yesterday's committee he said to me: "I'm tired, Feodor +Ilitch, I'm tired!" [Looks at the clock, then at his watch] Your +clock is seven minutes fast. "Yes," he said, "I'm tired." [Violin +played off.] + +OLGA. Let's go and have lunch! There's to be a masterpiece of +baking! + +KULIGIN. Oh my dear Olga, my dear. Yesterday I was working till +eleven o'clock at night, and got awfully tired. To-day I'm quite +happy. [Goes into dining-room] My dear ... + +CHEBUTIKIN. [Puts his paper into his pocket, and combs his beard] A +pie? Splendid! + +MASHA. [Severely to CHEBUTIKIN] Only mind; you're not to drink +anything to-day. Do you hear? It's bad for you. + +CHEBUTIKIN. Oh, that's all right. I haven't been drunk for two +years. And it's all the same, anyway! + +MASHA. You're not to dare to drink, all the same. [Angrily, but so +that her husband should not hear] Another dull evening at the +Director's, confound it! + +TUZENBACH. I shouldn't go if I were you. ... It's quite simple. + +CHEBUTIKIN. Don't go. + +MASHA. Yes, "don't go. ..." It's a cursed, unbearable life. ... +[Goes into dining-room.] + +CHEBUTIKIN. [Follows her] It's not so bad. + +SOLENI. [Going into the dining-room] There, there, there. ... + +TUZENBACH. Vassili Vassilevitch, that's enough. Be quiet! + +SOLENI. There, there, there. ... + +KULIGIN. [Gaily] Your health, Colonel! I'm a pedagogue and not +quite at home here. I'm Masha's husband. ... She's a good sort, a +very good sort. + +VERSHININ. I'll have some of this black vodka. ... [Drinks] Your +health! [To OLGA] I'm very comfortable here! + +[Only IRINA and TUZENBACH are now left in the sitting-room.] + +IRINA. Masha's out of sorts to-day. She married when she was +eighteen, when he seemed to her the wisest of men. And now it's +different. He's the kindest man, but not the wisest. + +OLGA. [Impatiently] Andrey, when are you coming? + +ANDREY. [Off] One minute. [Enters and goes to the table.] + +TUZENBACH. What are you thinking about? + +IRINA. I don't like this Soleni of yours and I'm afraid of him. He +only says silly things. + +TUZENBACH. He's a queer man. I'm sorry for him, though he vexes me. +I think he's shy. When there are just the two of us he's quite all +right and very good company; when other people are about he's rough +and hectoring. Don't let's go in, let them have their meal without +us. Let me stay with you. What are you thinking of? [Pause] You're +twenty. I'm not yet thirty. How many years are there left to us, +with their long, long lines of days, filled with my love for you. ... + +IRINA. Nicolai Lvovitch, don't speak to me of love. + +TUZENBACH. [Does not hear] I've a great thirst for life, struggle, +and work, and this thirst has united with my love for you, Irina, +and you're so beautiful, and life seems so beautiful to me! What +are you thinking about? + +IRINA. You say that life is beautiful. Yes, if only it seems so! +The life of us three hasn't been beautiful yet; it has been +stifling us as if it was weeds ... I'm crying. I oughtn't. ... +[Dries her tears, smiles] We must work, work. That is why we are +unhappy and look at the world so sadly; we don't know what work is. +Our parents despised work. ... + +[Enter NATALIA IVANOVA; she wears a pink dress and a green sash.] + +NATASHA. They're already at lunch ... I'm late ... [Carefully +examines herself in a mirror, and puts herself straight] I think my +hair's done all right. ... [Sees IRINA] Dear Irina Sergeyevna, I +congratulate you! [Kisses her firmly and at length] You've so many +visitors, I'm really ashamed. ... How do you do, Baron! + +OLGA. [Enters from dining-room] Here's Natalia Ivanovna. How are +you, dear! [They kiss.] + +NATASHA. Happy returns. I'm awfully shy, you've so many people +here. + +OLGA. All our friends. [Frightened, in an undertone] You're wearing +a green sash! My dear, you shouldn't! + +NATASHA. Is it a sign of anything? + +OLGA. No, it simply doesn't go well ... and it looks so queer. + +NATASHA. [In a tearful voice] Yes? But it isn't really green, it's +too dull for that. [Goes into dining-room with OLGA.] + +[They have all sat down to lunch in the dining-room, the +sitting-room is empty.] + +KULIGIN. I wish you a nice fiance, Irina. It's quite time you +married. + +CHEBUTIKIN. Natalia Ivanovna, I wish you the same. + +KULIGIN. Natalia Ivanovna has a fianc already. + +MASHA. [Raps with her fork on a plate] Let's all get drunk and make +life purple for once! + +KULIGIN. You've lost three good conduct marks. + +VERSHININ. This is a nice drink. What's it made of? + +SOLENI. Blackbeetles. + +IRINA. [Tearfully] Phoo! How disgusting! + +OLGA. There is to be a roast turkey and a sweet apple pie for +dinner. Thank goodness I can spend all day and the evening at home. +You'll come in the evening, ladies and gentlemen. ... + +VERSHININ. And please may I come in the evening! + +IRINA. Please do. + +NATASHA. They don't stand on ceremony here. + +CHEBUTIKIN. Nature only brought us into the world that we should +love! [Laughs.] + +ANDREY. [Angrily] Please don't! Aren't you tired of it? + +[Enter FEDOTIK and RODE with a large basket of flowers.] + +FEDOTIK. They're lunching already. + +RODE. [Loudly and thickly] Lunching? Yes, so they are. ... + +FEDOTIK. Wait a minute! [Takes a photograph] That's one. No, just a +moment. ... [Takes another] That's two. Now we're ready! + +[They take the basket and go into the dining-room, where they have +a noisy reception.] + +RODE. [Loudly] Congratulations and best wishes! Lovely weather +to-day, simply perfect. Was out walking with the High School +students all the morning. I take their drills. + +FEDOTIK. You may move, Irina Sergeyevna! [Takes a photograph] You +look well to-day. [Takes a humming-top out of his pocket] Here's a +humming-top, by the way. It's got a lovely note! + +IRINA. How awfully nice! + +MASHA. "There stands a green oak by the sea, + And a chain of bright gold is around it ... + And a chain of bright gold is around it ..." +[Tearfully] What am I saying that for? I've had those words running +in my head all day. ... + +KULIGIN. There are thirteen at table! + +RODE. [Aloud] Surely you don't believe in that superstition? +[Laughter.] + +KULIGIN. If there are thirteen at table then it means there are +lovers present. It isn't you, Ivan Romanovitch, hang it all. ... +[Laughter.] + +CHEBUTIKIN. I'm a hardened sinner, but I really don't see why +Natalia Ivanovna should blush. ... + +[Loud laughter; NATASHA runs out into the sitting-room, followed by +ANDREY.] + +ANDREY. Don't pay any attention to them! Wait ... do stop, please. ... + +NATASHA. I'm shy ... I don't know what's the matter with me and +they're all laughing at me. It wasn't nice of me to leave the table +like that, but I can't ... I can't. [Covers her face with her +hands.] + +ANDREY. My dear, I beg you. I implore you not to excite yourself. I +assure you they're only joking, they're kind people. My dear, good +girl, they're all kind and sincere people, and they like both you +and me. Come here to the window, they can't see us here. ... [Looks +round.] + +NATASHA. I'm so unaccustomed to meeting people! + +ANDREY. Oh your youth, your splendid, beautiful youth! My darling, +don't be so excited! Believe me, believe me ... I'm so happy, my +soul is full of love, of ecstasy. ... They don't see us! They +can't! Why, why or when did I fall in love with you--Oh, I can't +understand anything. My dear, my pure darling, be my wife! I love +you, love you ... as never before. ... [They kiss.] + +[Two officers come in and, seeing the lovers kiss, stop in +astonishment.] + +Curtain. + + +ACT II + +[Scene as before. It is 8 p.m. Somebody is heard playing a +concertina outside in' the street. There is no fire. NATALIA +IVANOVNA enters in indoor dress carrying a candle; she stops by the +door which leads into ANDREY'S room.] + +NATASHA. What are you doing, Andrey? Are you reading? It's nothing, +only I. ... [She opens another door, and looks in, then closes it] +Isn't there any fire. ... + +ANDREY. [Enters with book in hand] What are you doing, Natasha? + +NATASHA. I was looking to see if there wasn't a fire. It's +Shrovetide, and the servant is simply beside herself; I must look +out that something doesn't happen. When I came through the +dining-room yesterday midnight, there was a candle burning. I +couldn't get her to tell me who had lighted it. [Puts down her +candle] What's the time? + +ANDREY. [Looks at his watch] A quarter past eight. + +NATASHA. And Olga and Irina aren't in yet. The poor things are +still at work. Olga at the teacher's council, Irina at the +telegraph office. ... [Sighs] I said to your sister this morning, +"Irina, darling, you must take care of yourself." But she pays no +attention. Did you say it was a quarter past eight? I am afraid +little Bobby is quite ill. Why is he so cold? He was feverish +yesterday, but to-day he is quite cold ... I am so frightened! + +ANDREY. It's all right, Natasha. The boy is well. + +NATASHA. Still, I think we ought to put him on a diet. I am so +afraid. And the entertainers were to be here after nine; they had +better not come, Audrey. + +ANDREY. I don't know. After all, they were asked. + +NATASHA. This morning, when the little boy woke up and saw me he +suddenly smiled; that means he knew me. "Good morning, Bobby!" I +said, "good morning, darling." And he laughed. Children understand, +they understand very well. So I'll tell them, Andrey dear, not to +receive the entertainers. + +ANDREY. [Hesitatingly] But what about my sisters. This is their +flat. + +NATASHA. They'll do as I want them. They are so kind. ... [Going] I +ordered sour milk for supper. The doctor says you must eat sour +milk and nothing else, or you won't get thin. [Stops] Bobby is so +cold. I'm afraid his room is too cold for him. It would be nice to +put him into another room till the warm weather comes. Irina's +room, for instance, is just right for a child: it's dry and has the +sun all day. I must tell her, she can share Olga's room. It isn't +as if she was at home in the daytime, she only sleeps here. ... [A +pause] Andrey, darling, why are you so silent? + +ANDREY. I was just thinking. ... There is really nothing to say. ... + +NATASHA. Yes ... there was something I wanted to tell you. ... Oh, +yes. Ferapont has come from the Council offices, he wants to see +you. + +ANDREY. [Yawns] Call him here. + +[NATASHA goes out; ANDREY reads his book, stooping over the candle +she has left behind. FERAPONT enters; he wears a tattered old coat +with the collar up. His ears are muffled.] + +ANDREY. Good morning, grandfather. What have you to say? + +FERAPONT. The Chairman sends a book and some documents or other. +Here. ... [Hands him a book and a packet.] + +ANDREY. Thank you. It's all right. Why couldn't you come earlier? +It's past eight now. + +FERAPONT. What? + +ANDREY. [Louder]. I say you've come late, it's past eight. + +FERAPONT. Yes, yes. I came when it was still light, but they +wouldn't let me in. They said you were busy. Well, what was I to +do. If you're busy, you're busy, and I'm in no hurry. [He thinks +that ANDREY is asking him something] What? + +ANDREY. Nothing. [Looks through the book] To-morrow's Friday. I'm +not supposed to go to work, but I'll come--all the same ... and do +some work. It's dull at home. [Pause] Oh, my dear old man, how +strangely life changes, and how it deceives! To-day, out of sheer +boredom, I took up this book--old university lectures, and I +couldn't help laughing. My God, I'm secretary of the local district +council, the council which has Protopopov for its chairman, yes, +I'm the secretary, and the summit of my ambitions is--to become a +member of the council! I to be a member of the local district +council, I, who dream every night that I'm a professor of Moscow +University, a famous scholar of whom all Russia is proud! + +FERAPONT. I can't tell ... I'm hard of hearing. ... + +ANDREY. If you weren't, I don't suppose I should talk to you. I've +got to talk to somebody, and my wife doesn't understand me, and I'm +a bit afraid of my sisters--I don't know why unless it is that they +may make fun of me and make me feel ashamed ... I don't drink, I +don't like public-houses, but how I should like to be sitting just +now in Tyestov's place in Moscow, or at the Great Moscow, old +fellow! + +FERAPONT. Moscow? That's where a contractor was once telling that +some merchants or other were eating pancakes; one ate forty +pancakes and he went and died, he was saying. Either forty or +fifty, I forget which. + +ANDREY. In Moscow you can sit in an enormous restaurant where you +don't know anybody and where nobody knows you, and you don't feel +all the same that you're a stranger. And here you know everybody +and everybody knows you, and you're a stranger ... and a lonely +stranger. + +FERAPONT. What? And the same contractor was telling--perhaps he was +lying--that there was a cable stretching right across Moscow. + +ANDREY. What for? + +FERAPONT. I can't tell. The contractor said so. + +ANDREY. Rubbish. [He reads] Were you ever in Moscow? + +FERAPONT. [After a pause] No. God did not lead me there. [Pause] +Shall I go? + +ANDREY. You may go. Good-bye. [FERAPONT goes] Good-bye. [Reads] You +can come to-morrow and fetch these documents. ... Go along. ... +[Pause] He's gone. [A ring] Yes, yes. ... [Stretches himself and +slowly goes into his own room.] + +[Behind the scene the nurse is singing a lullaby to the child. +MASHA and VERSHININ come in. While they talk, a maidservant lights +candles and a lamp.] + +MASHA. I don't know. [Pause] I don't know. Of course, habit counts +for a great deal. After father's death, for instance, it took us a +long time to get used to the absence of orderlies. But, apart from +habit, it seems to me in all fairness that, however it may be in +other towns, the best and most-educated people are army men. + +VERSHININ. I'm thirsty. I should like some tea. + +MASHA. [Glancing at her watch] They'll bring some soon. I was given +in marriage when I was eighteen, and I was afraid of my husband +because he was a teacher and I'd only just left school. He then +seemed to me frightfully wise and learned and important. And now, +unfortunately, that has changed. + +VERSHININ. Yes ... yes. + +MASHA. I don't speak of my husband, I've grown used to him, but +civilians in general are so often coarse, impolite, uneducated. +Their rudeness offends me, it angers me. I suffer when I see that a +man isn't quite sufficiently refined, or delicate, or polite. I +simply suffer agonies when I happen to be among schoolmasters, my +husband's colleagues. + +VERSHININ. Yes. ... It seems to me that civilians and army men are +equally interesting, in this town, at any rate. It's all the same! +If you listen to a member of the local intelligentsia, whether to +civilian or military, he will tell you that he's sick of his wife, +sick of his house, sick of his estate, sick of his horses. ... We +Russians are extremely gifted in the direction of thinking on an +exalted plane, but, tell me, why do we aim so low in real life? +Why? + +MASHA. Why? + +VERSHININ. Why is a Russian sick of his children, sick of his wife? +And why are his wife and children sick of him? + +MASHA. You're a little downhearted to-day. + +VERSHININ. Perhaps I am. I haven't had any dinner, I've had nothing +since the morning. My daughter is a little unwell, and when my +girls are ill, I get very anxious and my conscience tortures me +because they have such a mother. Oh, if you had seen her to-day! +What a trivial personality! We began quarrelling at seven in the +morning and at nine I slammed the door and went out. [Pause] I +never speak of her, it's strange that I bear my complaints to you +alone. [Kisses her hand] Don't be angry with me. I haven't anybody +but you, nobody at all. ... [Pause.] + +MASHA. What a noise in the oven. Just before father's death there +was a noise in the pipe, just like that. + +VERSHININ. Are you superstitious? + +MASHA. Yes. + +VERSHININ. That's strange. [Kisses her hand] You are a splendid, +wonderful woman. Splendid, wonderful! It is dark here, but I see +your sparkling eyes. + +MASHA. [Sits on another chair] There is more light here. + +VERSHININ. I love you, love you, love you ... I love your eyes, +your movements, I dream of them. ... Splendid, wonderful woman! + +MASHA. [Laughing] When you talk to me like that, I laugh; I don't +know why, for I'm afraid. Don't repeat it, please. ... [In an +undertone] No, go on, it's all the same to me. ... [Covers her face +with her hands] Somebody's coming, let's talk about something else. + +[IRINA and TUZENBACH come in through the dining-room.] + +TUZENBACH. My surname is really triple. I am called Baron +Tuzenbach-Krone-Altschauer, but I am Russian and Orthodox, the same +as you. There is very little German left in me, unless perhaps it +is the patience and the obstinacy with which I bore you. I see you +home every night. + +IRINA. How tired I am! + +TUZENBACH. And I'll come to the telegraph office to see you home +every day for ten or twenty years, until you drive me away. [He +sees MASHA and VERSHININ; joyfully] Is that you? How do you do. + +IRINA. Well, I am home at last. [To MASHA] A lady came to-day to +telegraph to her brother in Saratov that her son died to-day, and +she couldn't remember the address anyhow. So she sent the telegram +without an address, just to Saratov. She was crying. And for some +reason or other I was rude to her. "I've no time," I said. It was +so stupid. Are the entertainers coming to-night? + +MASHA. Yes. + +IRINA. [Sitting down in an armchair] I want a rest. I am tired. + +TUZENBACH. [Smiling] When you come home from your work you seem so +young, and so unfortunate. ... [Pause.] + +IRINA. I am tired. No, I don't like the telegraph office, I don't +like it. + +MASHA. You've grown thinner. ... [Whistles a little] And you look +younger, and your face has become like a boy's. + +TUZENBACH. That's the way she does her hair. + +IRINA. I must find another job, this one won't do for me. What I +wanted, what I hoped to get, just that is lacking here. Labour +without poetry, without ideas. ... [A knock on the floor] The +doctor is knocking. [To TUZENBACH] Will you knock, dear. I can't ... +I'm tired. ... [TUZENBACH knocks] He'll come in a minute. Something +ought to be done. Yesterday the doctor and Andrey played cards at +the club and lost money. Andrey seems to have lost 200 roubles. + +MASHA. [With indifference] What can we do now? + +IRINA. He lost money a fortnight ago, he lost money in December. +Perhaps if he lost everything we should go away from this town. Oh, +my God, I dream of Moscow every night. I'm just like a lunatic. +[Laughs] We go there in June, and before June there's still ... +February, March, April, May ... nearly half a year! + +MASHA. Only Natasha mustn't get to know of these losses. + +IRINA. I expect it will be all the same to her. + +[CHEBUTIKIN, who has only just got out of bed--he was resting after +dinner--comes into the dining-room and combs his beard. He then +sits by the table and takes a newspaper from his pocket.] + +MASHA. Here he is. ... Has he paid his rent? + +IRINA. [Laughs] No. He's been here eight months and hasn't paid a +copeck. Seems to have forgotten. + +MASHA. [Laughs] What dignity in his pose! [They all laugh. A +pause.] + +IRINA. Why are you so silent, Alexander Ignateyevitch? + +VERSHININ. I don't know. I want some tea. Half my life for a +tumbler of tea: I haven't had anything since morning. + +CHEBUTIKIN. Irina Sergeyevna! + +IRINA. What is it? + +CHEBUTIKIN. Please come here, Venez ici. [IRINA goes and sits by +the table] I can't do without you. [IRINA begins to play patience.] + +VERSHININ. Well, if we can't have any tea, let's philosophize, at +any rate. + +TUZENBACH. Yes, let's. About what? + +VERSHININ. About what? Let us meditate ... about life as it will be +after our time; for example, in two or three hundred years. + +TUZENBACH. Well? After our time people will fly about in balloons, +the cut of one's coat will change, perhaps they'll discover a sixth +sense and develop it, but life will remain the same, laborious, +mysterious, and happy. And in a thousand years' time, people will +still be sighing: "Life is hard!"--and at the same time they'll be +just as afraid of death, and unwilling to meet it, as we are. + +VERSHININ. [Thoughtfully] How can I put it? It seems to me that +everything on earth must change, little by little, and is already +changing under our very eyes. After two or three hundred years, +after a thousand--the actual time doesn't matter--a new and happy +age will begin. We, of course, shall not take part in it, but we +live and work and even suffer to-day that it should come. We create +it--and in that one object is our destiny and, if you like, our +happiness. + +[MASHA laughs softly.] + +TUZENBACH. What is it? + +MASHA. I don't know. I've been laughing all day, ever since +morning. + +VERSHININ. I finished my education at the same point as you, I have +not studied at universities; I read a lot, but I cannot choose my +books and perhaps what I read is not at all what I should, but the +longer I love, the more I want to know. My hair is turning white, I +am nearly an old man now, but I know so little, oh, so little! But +I think I know the things that matter most, and that are most real. +I know them well. And I wish I could make you understand that there +is no happiness for us, that there should not and cannot be. ... We +must only work and work, and happiness is only for our distant +posterity. [Pause] If not for me, then for the descendants of my +descendants. + +[FEDOTIK and RODE come into the dining-room; they sit and sing +softly, strumming on a guitar.] + +TUZENBACH. According to you, one should not even think about +happiness! But suppose I am happy! + +VERSHININ. No. + +TUZENBACH. [Moves his hands and laughs] We do not seem to +understand each other. How can I convince you? [MASHA laughs +quietly, TUZENBACH continues, pointing at her] Yes, laugh! [To +VERSHININ] Not only after two or three centuries, but in a million +years, life will still be as it was; life does not change, it +remains for ever, following its own laws which do not concern us, +or which, at any rate, you will never find out. Migrant birds, +cranes for example, fly and fly, and whatever thoughts, high or +low, enter their heads, they will still fly and not know why or +where. They fly and will continue to fly, whatever philosophers +come to life among them; they may philosophize as much as they +like, only they will fly. ... + +MASHA. Still, is there a meaning? + +TUZENBACH. A meaning. ... Now the snow is falling. What meaning? +[Pause.] + +MASHA. It seems to me that a man must have faith, or must search +for a faith, or his life will be empty, empty. ... To live and not +to know why the cranes fly, why babies are born, why there are +stars in the sky. ... Either you must know why you live, or +everything is trivial, not worth a straw. [A pause.] + +VERSHININ. Still, I am sorry that my youth has gone. + +MASHA. Gogol says: life in this world is a dull matter, my masters! + +TUZENBACH. And I say it's difficult to argue with you, my masters! +Hang it all. + +CHEBUTIKIN. [Reading] Balzac was married at Berdichev. [IRINA is +singing softly] That's worth making a note of. [He makes a note] +Balzac was married at Berdichev. [Goes on reading.] + +IRINA. [Laying out cards, thoughtfully] Balzac was married at +Berdichev. + +TUZENBACH. The die is cast. I've handed in my resignation, Maria +Sergeyevna. + +MASHA. So I heard. I don't see what good it is; I don't like +civilians. + +TUZENBACH. Never mind. ... [Gets up] I'm not handsome; what use am +I as a soldier? Well, it makes no difference ... I shall work. If +only just once in my life I could work so that I could come home in +the evening, fall exhausted on my bed, and go to sleep at once. +[Going into the dining-room] Workmen, I suppose, do sleep soundly! + +FEDOTIK. [To IRINA] I bought some coloured pencils for you at +Pizhikov's in the Moscow Road, just now. And here is a little +knife. + +IRINA. You have got into the habit of behaving to me as if I am a +little girl, but I am grown up. [Takes the pencils and the knife, +then, with joy] How lovely! + +FEDOTIK. And I bought myself a knife ... look at it ... one blade, +another, a third, an ear-scoop, scissors, nail-cleaners. + +RODE. [Loudly] Doctor, how old are you? + +CHEBUTIKIN. I? Thirty-two. [Laughter] + +FEDOTIK. I'll show you another kind of patience. ... [Lays out +cards.] + +[A samovar is brought in; ANFISA attends to it; a little later +NATASHA enters and helps by the table; SOLENI arrives and, after +greetings, sits by the table.] + +VERSHININ. What a wind! + +MASHA. Yes. I'm tired of winter. I've already forgotten what +summer's like. + +IRINA. It's coming out, I see. We're going to Moscow. + +FEDOTIK. No, it won't come out. Look, the eight was on the two of +spades. [Laughs] That means you won't go to Moscow. + +CHEBUTIKIN. [Reading paper] Tsitsigar. Smallpox is raging here. + +ANFISA. [Coming up to MASHA] Masha, have some tea, little mother. +[To VERSHININ] Please have some, sir ... excuse me, but I've +forgotten your name. ... + +MASHA. Bring some here, nurse. I shan't go over there. + +IRINA. Nurse! + +ANFISA. Coming, coming! + +NATASHA. [To SOLENI] Children at the breast understand perfectly. I +said "Good morning, Bobby; good morning, dear!" And he looked at me +in quite an unusual way. You think it's only the mother in me that +is speaking; I assure you that isn't so! He's a wonderful child. + +SOLENI. If he was my child I'd roast him on a frying-pan and eat +him. [Takes his tumbler into the drawing-room and sits in a +corner.] + +NATASHA. [Covers her face in her hands] Vulgar, ill-bred man! + +MASHA. He's lucky who doesn't notice whether it's winter now, or +summer. I think that if I were in Moscow, I shouldn't mind about +the weather. + +VERSHININ. A few days ago I was reading the prison diary of a +French minister. He had been sentenced on account of the Panama +scandal. With what joy, what delight, he speaks of the birds he saw +through the prison windows, which he had never noticed while he was +a minister. Now, of course, that he is at liberty, he notices birds +no more than he did before. When you go to live in Moscow you'll +not notice it, in just the same way. There can be no happiness for +us, it only exists in our wishes. + +TUZENBACH. [Takes cardboard box from the table] Where are the +pastries? + +IRINA. Soleni has eaten them. + +TUZENBACH. All of them? + +ANFISA. [Serving tea] There's a letter for you. + +VERSHININ. For me? [Takes the letter] From my daughter. [Reads] +Yes, of course ... I will go quietly. Excuse me, Maria Sergeyevna. +I shan't have any tea. [Stands up, excited] That eternal story. ... + +MASHA. What is it? Is it a secret? + +VERSHININ. [Quietly] My wife has poisoned herself again. I must go. +I'll go out quietly. It's all awfully unpleasant. [Kisses MASHA'S +hand] My dear, my splendid, good woman ... I'll go this way, +quietly. [Exit.] + +ANFISA. Where has he gone? And I'd served tea. ... What a man. + +MASHA. [Angrily] Be quiet! You bother so one can't have a moment's +peace. ... [Goes to the table with her cup] I'm tired of you, old +woman! + +ANFISA. My dear! Why are you offended! + +ANDREY'S VOICE. Anfisa! + +ANFISA. [Mocking] Anfisa! He sits there and ... [Exit.] + +MASHA. [In the dining-room, by the table angrily] Let me sit down! +[Disturbs the cards on the table] Here you are, spreading your +cards out. Have some tea! + +IRINA. You are cross, Masha. + +MASHA. If I am cross, then don't talk to me. Don't touch me! + +CHEBUTIKIN. Don't touch her, don't touch her. ... + +MASHA. You're sixty, but you're like a boy, always up to some +beastly nonsense. + +NATASHA. [Sighs] Dear Masha, why use such expressions? With your +beautiful exterior you would be simply fascinating in good society, +I tell you so directly, if it wasn't for your words. _Je vous prie, +pardonnez moi, Marie, mais vous avez des manires un peu +grossires_. + +TUZENBACH. [Restraining his laughter] Give me ... give me ... +there's some cognac, I think. + +NATASHA. _Il parait, que mon Bobick dj ne dort pas_, he has +awakened. He isn't well to-day. I'll go to him, excuse me ... +[Exit.] + +IRINA. Where has Alexander Ignateyevitch gone? + +MASHA. Home. Something extraordinary has happened to his wife +again. + +TUZENBACH. [Goes to SOLENI with a cognac-flask in his hands] You go +on sitting by yourself, thinking of something--goodness knows what. +Come and let's make peace. Let's have some cognac. [They drink] I +expect I'll have to play the piano all night, some rubbish most +likely ... well, so be it! + +SOLENI. Why make peace? I haven't quarrelled with you. + +TUZENBACH. You always make me feel as if something has taken place +between us. You've a strange character, you must admit. + +SOLENI. [Declaims] "I am strange, but who is not? Don't be angry, +Aleko!" + +TUZENBACH. And what has Aleko to do with it? [Pause.] + +SOLENI. When I'm with one other man I behave just like everybody +else, but in company I'm dull and shy and ... talk all manner of +rubbish. But I'm more honest and more honourable than very, very +many people. And I can prove it. + +TUZENBACH. I often get angry with you, you always fasten on to me +in company, but I like you all the same. I'm going to drink my fill +to-night, whatever happens. Drink, now! + +SOLENI. Let's drink. [They drink] I never had anything against you, +Baron. But my character is like Lermontov's [In a low voice] I even +rather resemble Lermontov, they say. ... [Takes a scent-bottle from +his pocket, and scents his hands.] + +TUZENBACH. I've sent in my resignation. Basta! I've been thinking +about it for five years, and at last made up my mind. I shall work. + +SOLENI. [Declaims] "Do not be angry, Aleko ... forget, forget, thy +dreams of yore. ..." + +[While he is speaking ANDREY enters quietly with a book, and sits +by the table.] + +TUZENBACH. I shall work. + +CHEBUTIKIN. [Going with IRINA into the dining-room] And the food +was also real Caucasian onion soup, and, for a roast, some +chehartma. + +SOLENI. Cheremsha [Note: A variety of garlic.] isn't meat at all, +but a plant something like an onion. + +CHEBUTIKIN. No, my angel. Chehartma isn't onion, but roast mutton. + +SOLENI. And I tell you, chehartma--is a sort of onion. + +CHEBUTIKIN. And I tell you, chehartma--is mutton. + +SOLENI. And I tell you, cheremsha--is a sort of onion. + +CHEBUTIKIN. What's the use of arguing! You've never been in the +Caucasus, and never ate any chehartma. + +SOLENI. I never ate it, because I hate it. It smells like garlic. + +ANDREY. [Imploring] Please, please! I ask you! + +TUZENBACH. When are the entertainers coming? + +IRINA. They promised for about nine; that is, quite soon. + +TUZENBACH. [Embraces ANDREY] + "Oh my house, my house, my new-built house." + +ANDREY. [Dances and sings] + "Newly-built of maple-wood." + +CHEBUTIKIN. [Dances] + "Its walls are like a sieve!" [Laughter.] + +TUZENBACH. [Kisses ANDREY] Hang it all, let's drink. Andrey, old +boy, let's drink with you. And I'll go with you, Andrey, to the +University of Moscow. + +SOLENI. Which one? There are two universities in Moscow. + +ANDREY. There's one university in Moscow. + +SOLENI. Two, I tell you. + +ANDREY. Don't care if there are three. So much the better. + +SOLENI. There are two universities in Moscow! [There are murmurs +and "hushes"] There are two universities in Moscow, the old one and +the new one. And if you don't like to listen, if my words annoy +you, then I need not speak. I can even go into another room. ... +[Exit.] + +TUZENBACH. Bravo, bravo! [Laughs] Come on, now. I'm going to play. +Funny man, Soleni. ... [Goes to the piano and plays a waltz.] + +MASHA. [Dancing solo] The Baron's drunk, the Baron's drunk, the +Baron's drunk! + +[NATASHA comes in.] + +NATASHA. [To CHEBUTIKIN] Ivan Romanovitch! + +[Says something to CHEBUTIKIN, then goes out quietly; CHEBUTIKIN +touches TUZENBACH on the shoulder and whispers something to him.] + +IRINA. What is it? + +CHEBUTIKIN. Time for us to go. Good-bye. + +TUZENBACH. Good-night. It's time we went. + +IRINA. But, really, the entertainers? + +ANDREY. [In confusion] There won't be any entertainers. You see, +dear, Natasha says that Bobby isn't quite well, and so. ... In a +word, I don't care, and it's absolutely all one to me. + +IRINA. [Shrugging her shoulders] Bobby ill! + +MASHA. What is she thinking of! Well, if they are sent home, I +suppose they must go. [To IRINA] Bobby's all right, it's she +herself. ... Here! [Taps her forehead] Little bourgeoise! + +[ANDREY goes to his room through the right-hand door, CHEBUTIKIN +follows him. In the dining-room they are saying good-bye.] + +FEDOTIK. What a shame! I was expecting to spend the evening here, +but of course, if the little baby is ill ... I'll bring him some +toys to-morrow. + +RODE. [Loudly] I slept late after dinner to-day because I thought I +was going to dance all night. It's only nine o'clock now! + +MASHA. Let's go into the street, we can talk there. Then we can +settle things. + +(Good-byes and good nights are heard. TUZENBACH'S merry laughter is +heard. [All go out] ANFISA and the maid clear the table, and put +out the lights. [The nurse sings] ANDREY, wearing an overcoat and a +hat, and CHEBUTIKIN enter silently.) + +CHEBUTIKIN. I never managed to get married because my life flashed +by like lightning, and because I was madly in love with your +mother, who was married. + +ANDREY. One shouldn't marry. One shouldn't, because it's dull. + +CHEBUTIKIN. So there I am, in my loneliness. Say what you will, +loneliness is a terrible thing, old fellow. ... Though really ... +of course, it absolutely doesn't matter! + +ANDREY. Let's be quicker. + +CHEBUTIKIN. What are you in such a hurry for? We shall be in time. + +ANDREY. I'm afraid my wife may stop me. + +CHEBUTIKIN. Ah! + +ANDREY. I shan't play to-night, I shall only sit and look on. I +don't feel very well. ... What am I to do for my asthma, Ivan +Romanovitch? + +CHEBUTIKIN. Don't ask me! I don't remember, old fellow, I don't +know. + +ANDREY. Let's go through the kitchen. [They go out.] + +[A bell rings, then a second time; voices and laughter are heard.] + +IRINA. [Enters] What's that? + +ANFISA. [Whispers] The entertainers! [Bell.] + +IRINA. Tell them there's nobody at home, nurse. They must excuse +us. + +[ANFISA goes out. IRINA walks about the room deep in thought; she +is excited. SOLENI enters.] + +SOLENI. [In surprise] There's nobody here. ... Where are they all? + +IRINA. They've gone home. + +SOLENI. How strange. Are you here alone? + +IRINA. Yes, alone. [A pause] Good-bye. + +SOLENI. Just now I behaved tactlessly, with insufficient reserve. +But you are not like all the others, you are noble and pure, you +can see the truth. ... You alone can understand me. I love you, +deeply, beyond measure, I love you. + +IRINA. Good-bye! Go away. + +SOLENI. I cannot live without you. [Follows her] Oh, my happiness! +[Through his tears] Oh, joy! Wonderful, marvellous, glorious eyes, +such as I have never seen before. ... + +IRINA. [Coldly] Stop it, Vassili Vassilevitch! + +SOLENI. This is the first time I speak to you of love, and it is as +if I am no longer on the earth, but on another planet. [Wipes his +forehead] Well, never mind. I can't make you love me by force, of +course ... but I don't intend to have any more-favoured rivals. ... +No ... I swear to you by all the saints, I shall kill my rival. ... +Oh, beautiful one! + +[NATASHA enters with a candle; she looks in through one door, then +through another, and goes past the door leading to her husband's +room.] + +NATASHA. Here's Andrey. Let him go on reading. Excuse me, Vassili +Vassilevitch, I did not know you were here; I am engaged in +domesticities. + +SOLENI. It's all the same to me. Good-bye! [Exit.] + +NATASHA. You're so tired, my poor dear girl! [Kisses IRINA] If you +only went to bed earlier. + +IRINA. Is Bobby asleep? + +NATASHA. Yes, but restlessly. By the way, dear, I wanted to tell +you, but either you weren't at home, or I was busy ... I think +Bobby's present nursery is cold and damp. And your room would be so +nice for the child. My dear, darling girl, do change over to Olga's +for a bit! + +IRINA. [Not understanding] Where? + +[The bells of a troika are heard as it drives up to the house.] + +NATASHA. You and Olga can share a room, for the time being, and +Bobby can have yours. He's such a darling; to-day I said to him, +"Bobby, you're mine! Mine!" And he looked at me with his dear +little eyes. [A bell rings] It must be Olga. How late she is! [The +maid enters and whispers to NATASHA] Protopopov? What a queer man +to do such a thing. Protopopov's come and wants me to go for a +drive with him in his troika. [Laughs] How funny these men are. ... +[A bell rings] Somebody has come. Suppose I did go and have half an +hour's drive. ... [To the maid] Say I shan't be long. [Bell rings] +Somebody's ringing, it must be Olga. [Exit.] + +[The maid runs out; IRINA sits deep in thought; KULIGIN and OLGA +enter, followed by VERSHININ.] + +KULIGIN. Well, there you are. And you said there was going to be a +party. + +VERSHININ. It's queer; I went away not long ago, half an hour ago, +and they were expecting entertainers. + +IRINA. They've all gone. + +KULIGIN. Has Masha gone too? Where has she gone? And what's +Protopopov waiting for downstairs in his troika? Whom is he +expecting? + +IRINA. Don't ask questions ... I'm tired. + +KULIGIN. Oh, you're all whimsies. ... + +OLGA. My committee meeting is only just over. I'm tired out. Our +chairwoman is ill, so I had to take her place. My head, my head is +aching. ... [Sits] Andrey lost 200 roubles at cards yesterday ... +the whole town is talking about it. ... + +KULIGIN. Yes, my meeting tired me too. [Sits.] + +VERSHININ. My wife took it into her head to frighten me just now by +nearly poisoning herself. It's all right now, and I'm glad; I can +rest now. ... But perhaps we ought to go away? Well, my best +wishes, Feodor Ilitch, let's go somewhere together! I can't, I +absolutely can't stop at home. ... Come on! + +KULIGIN. I'm tired. I won't go. [Gets up] I'm tired. Has my wife +gone home? + +IRINA. I suppose so. + +KULIGIN. [Kisses IRINA'S hand] Good-bye, I'm going to rest all day +to-morrow and the day after. Best wishes! [Going] I should like +some tea. I was looking forward to spending the whole evening in +pleasant company and--o, fallacem hominum spem! ... Accusative case +after an interjection. ... + +VERSHININ. Then I'll go somewhere by myself. [Exit with KULIGIN, +whistling.] + +OLGA. I've such a headache ... Andrey has been losing money. ... +The whole town is talking. ... I'll go and lie down. [Going] I'm +free to-morrow. ... Oh, my God, what a mercy! I'm free to-morrow, +I'm free the day after. ... Oh my head, my head. ... [Exit.] + +IRINA. [alone] They've all gone. Nobody's left. + +[A concertina is being played in the street. The nurse sings.] + +NATASHA. [in fur coat and cap, steps across the dining-room, +followed by the maid] I'll be back in half an hour. I'm only going +for a little drive. [Exit.] + +IRINA. [Alone in her misery] To Moscow! Moscow! Moscow! + +Curtain. + + +ACT III + +[The room shared by OLGA and IRINA. Beds, screened off, on the +right and left. It is past 2 a.m. Behind the stage a fire-alarm is +ringing; it has apparently been going for some time. Nobody in the +house has gone to bed yet. MASHA is lying on a sofa dressed, as +usual, in black. Enter OLGA and ANFISA.] + +ANFISA. Now they are downstairs, sitting under the stairs. I said +to them, "Won't you come up," I said, "You can't go on like this," +and they simply cried, "We don't know where father is." They said, +"He may be burnt up by now." What an idea! And in the yard there +are some people ... also undressed. + +OLGA. [Takes a dress out of the cupboard] Take this grey dress. ... +And this ... and the blouse as well. ... Take the skirt, too, +nurse. ... My God! How awful it is! The whole of the Kirsanovsky +Road seems to have burned down. Take this ... and this. ... [Throws +clothes into her hands] The poor Vershinins are so frightened. ... +Their house was nearly burnt. They ought to come here for the +night. ... They shouldn't be allowed to go home. ... Poor Fedotik +is completely burnt out, there's nothing left. ... + +ANFISA. Couldn't you call Ferapont, Olga dear. I can hardly manage. ... + +OLGA. [Rings] They'll never answer. ... [At the door] Come here, +whoever there is! [Through the open door can be seen a window, red +with flame: afire-engine is heard passing the house] How awful this +is. And how I'm sick of it! [FERAPONT enters] Take these things +down. ... The Kolotilin girls are down below ... and let them have +them. This, too. + +FERAPONT. Yes'm. In the year twelve Moscow was burning too. Oh, my +God! The Frenchmen were surprised. + +OLGA. Go on, go on. ... + +FERAPONT. Yes'm. [Exit.] + +OLGA. Nurse, dear, let them have everything. We don't want +anything. Give it all to them, nurse. ... I'm tired, I can hardly +keep on my legs. ... The Vershinins mustn't be allowed to go home. ... +The girls can sleep in the drawing-room, and Alexander Ignateyevitch +can go downstairs to the Baron's flat ... Fedotik can go there, too, +or else into our dining-room. ... The doctor is drunk, beastly drunk, +as if on purpose, so nobody can go to him. Vershinin's wife, too, +may go into the drawing-room. + +ANFISA. [Tired] Olga, dear girl, don't dismiss me! Don't dismiss +me! + +OLGA. You're talking nonsense, nurse. Nobody is dismissing you. + +ANFISA. [Puts OLGA'S head against her bosom] My dear, precious +girl, I'm working, I'm toiling away ... I'm growing weak, and +they'll all say go away! And where shall I go? Where? I'm eighty. +Eighty-one years old. ... + +OLGA. You sit down, nurse dear. ... You're tired, poor dear. ... +[Makes her sit down] Rest, dear. You're so pale! + +[NATASHA comes in.] + +NATASHA. They are saying that a committee to assist the sufferers +from the fire must be formed at once. What do you think of that? +It's a beautiful idea. Of course the poor ought to be helped, it's +the duty of the rich. Bobby and little Sophy are sleeping, sleeping +as if nothing at all was the matter. There's such a lot of people +here, the place is full of them, wherever you go. There's influenza +in the town now. I'm afraid the children may catch it. + +OLGA. [Not attending] In this room we can't see the fire, it's +quiet here. + +NATASHA. Yes ... I suppose I'm all untidy. [Before the looking-glass] +They say I'm growing stout ... it isn't true! Certainly it isn't! +Masha's asleep; the poor thing is tired out. ... [Coldly, to +ANFISA] Don't dare to be seated in my presence! Get up! Out of +this! [Exit ANFISA; a pause] I don't understand what makes you keep +on that old woman! + +OLGA. [Confusedly] Excuse me, I don't understand either ... + +NATASHA. She's no good here. She comes from the country, she ought +to live there. ... Spoiling her, I call it! I like order in the +house! We don't want any unnecessary people here. [Strokes her +cheek] You're tired, poor thing! Our head mistress is tired! And +when my little Sophie grows up and goes to school I shall be so +afraid of you. + +OLGA. I shan't be head mistress. + +NATASHA. They'll appoint you, Olga. It's settled. + +OLGA. I'll refuse the post. I can't ... I'm not strong enough. ... +[Drinks water] You were so rude to nurse just now ... I'm sorry. I +can't stand it ... everything seems dark in front of me. ... + +NATASHA. [Excited] Forgive me, Olga, forgive me ... I didn't want +to annoy you. + +[MASHA gets up, takes a pillow and goes out angrily.] + +OLGA. Remember, dear ... we have been brought up, in an unusual +way, perhaps, but I can't bear this. Such behaviour has a bad +effect on me, I get ill ... I simply lose heart! + +NATASHA. Forgive me, forgive me. ... [Kisses her.] + +OLGA. Even the least bit of rudeness, the slightest impoliteness, +upsets me. + +NATASHA. I often say too much, it's true, but you must agree, dear, +that she could just as well live in the country. + +OLGA. She has been with us for thirty years. + +NATASHA. But she can't do any work now. Either I don't understand, +or you don't want to understand me. She's no good for work, she can +only sleep or sit about. + +OLGA. And let her sit about. + +NATASHA. [Surprised] What do you mean? She's only a servant. +[Crying] I don't understand you, Olga. I've got a nurse, a +wet-nurse, we've a cook, a housemaid ... what do we want that old +woman for as well? What good is she? [Fire-alarm behind the stage.] + +OLGA. I've grown ten years older to-night. + +NATASHA. We must come to an agreement, Olga. Your place is the +school, mine--the home. You devote yourself to teaching, I, to the +household. And if I talk about servants, then I do know what I am +talking about; I do know what I am talking about ... And to-morrow +there's to be no more of that old thief, that old hag ... +[Stamping] that witch! And don't you dare to annoy me! Don't you +dare! [Stopping short] Really, if you don't move downstairs, we +shall always be quarrelling. This is awful. + +[Enter KULIGIN.] + +KULIGIN. Where's Masha? It's time we went home. The fire seems to +be going down. [Stretches himself] Only one block has burnt down, +but there was such a wind that it seemed at first the whole town +was going to burn. [Sits] I'm tired out. My dear Olga ... I often +think that if it hadn't been for Masha, I should have married you. +You are awfully nice. ... I am absolutely tired out. [Listens.] + +OLGA. What is it? + +KULIGIN. The doctor, of course, has been drinking hard; he's +terribly drunk. He might have done it on purpose! [Gets up] He +seems to be coming here. ... Do you hear him? Yes, here. ... +[Laughs] What a man ... really ... I'll hide myself. [Goes to the +cupboard and stands in the corner] What a rogue. + +OLGA. He hadn't touched a drop for two years, and now he suddenly +goes and gets drunk. ... + +[Retires with NATASHA to the back of the room. CHEBUTIKIN enters; +apparently sober, he stops, looks round, then goes to the +wash-stand and begins to wash his hands.] + +CHEBUTIKIN. [Angrily] Devil take them all ... take them all. ... +They think I'm a doctor and can cure everything, and I know +absolutely nothing, I've forgotten all I ever knew, I remember +nothing, absolutely nothing. [OLGA and NATASHA go out, unnoticed by +him] Devil take it. Last Wednesday I attended a woman in Zasip--and +she died, and it's my fault that she died. Yes ... I used to know a +certain amount five-and-twenty years ago, but I don't remember +anything now. Nothing. Perhaps I'm not really a man, and am only +pretending that I've got arms and legs and a head; perhaps I don't +exist at all, and only imagine that I walk, and eat, and sleep. +[Cries] Oh, if only I didn't exist! [Stops crying; angrily] The +devil only knows. ... Day before yesterday they were talking in the +club; they said, Shakespeare, Voltaire ... I'd never read, never +read at all, and I put on an expression as if I had read. And so +did the others. Oh, how beastly! How petty! And then I remembered +the woman I killed on Wednesday ... and I couldn't get her out of +my mind, and everything in my mind became crooked, nasty, wretched. ... +So I went and drank. ... + +[IRINA, VERSHININ and TUZENBACH enter; TUZENBACH is wearing new and +fashionable civilian clothes.] + +IRINA. Let's sit down here. Nobody will come in here. + +VERSHININ. The whole town would have been destroyed if it hadn't +been for the soldiers. Good men! [Rubs his hands appreciatively] +Splendid people! Oh, what a fine lot! + +KULIGIN. [Coming up to him] What's the time? + +TUZENBACH. It's past three now. It's dawning. + +IRINA. They are all sitting in the dining-room, nobody is going. +And that Soleni of yours is sitting there. [To CHEBUTIKIN] Hadn't +you better be going to sleep, doctor? + +CHEBUTIKIN. It's all right ... thank you. ... [Combs his beard.] + +KULIGIN. [Laughs] Speaking's a bit difficult, eh, Ivan Romanovitch! +[Pats him on the shoulder] Good man! _In vino veritas_, the +ancients used to say. + +TUZENBACH. They keep on asking me to get up a concert in aid of the +sufferers. + +IRINA. As if one could do anything. ... + +TUZENBACH. It might be arranged, if necessary. In my opinion Maria +Sergeyevna is an excellent pianist. + +KULIGIN. Yes, excellent! + +IRINA. She's forgotten everything. She hasn't played for three +years ... or four. + +TUZENBACH. In this town absolutely nobody understands music, not a +soul except myself, but I do understand it, and assure you on my +word of honour that Maria Sergeyevna plays excellently, almost with +genius. + +KULIGIN. You are right, Baron, I'm awfully fond of Masha. She's +very fine. + +TUZENBACH. To be able to play so admirably and to realize at the +same time that nobody, nobody can understand you! + +KULIGIN. [Sighs] Yes. ... But will it be quite all right for her to +take part in a concert? [Pause] You see, I don't know anything +about it. Perhaps it will even be all to the good. Although I must +admit that our Director is a good man, a very good man even, a very +clever man, still he has such views. ... Of course it isn't his +business but still, if you wish it, perhaps I'd better talk to him. + +[CHEBUTIKIN takes a porcelain clock into his hands and examines +it.] + +VERSHININ. I got so dirty while the fire was on, I don't look like +anybody on earth. [Pause] Yesterday I happened to hear, casually, +that they want to transfer our brigade to some distant place. Some +said to Poland, others, to Chita. + +TUZENBACH. I heard so, too. Well, if it is so, the town will be +quite empty. + +IRINA. And we'll go away, too! + +CHEBUTIKIN. [Drops the clock which breaks to pieces] To +smithereens! + +[A pause; everybody is pained and confused.] + +KULIGIN. [Gathering up the pieces] To smash such a valuable object-- +oh, Ivan Romanovitch, Ivan Romanovitch! A very bad mark for your +misbehaviour! + +IRINA. That clock used to belong to our mother. + +CHEBUTIKIN. Perhaps. ... To your mother, your mother. Perhaps I +didn't break it; it only looks as if I broke it. Perhaps we only +think that we exist, when really we don't. I don't know anything, +nobody knows anything. [At the door] What are you looking at? +Natasha has a little romance with Protopopov, and you don't see it. ... +There you sit and see nothing, and Natasha has a little romance +with Protopovov. ... [Sings] Won't you please accept this date. ... +[Exit.] + +VERSHININ. Yes. [Laughs] How strange everything really is! [Pause] +When the fire broke out, I hurried off home; when I get there I see +the house is whole, uninjured, and in no danger, but my two girls +are standing by the door in just their underclothes, their mother +isn't there, the crowd is excited, horses and dogs are running +about, and the girls' faces are so agitated, terrified, beseeching, +and I don't know what else. My heart was pained when I saw those +faces. My God, I thought, what these girls will have to put up with +if they live long! I caught them up and ran, and still kept on +thinking the one thing: what they will have to live through in this +world! [Fire-alarm; a pause] I come here and find their mother +shouting and angry. [MASHA enters with a pillow and sits on the +sofa] And when my girls were standing by the door in just their +underclothes, and the street was red from the fire, there was a +dreadful noise, and I thought that something of the sort used to +happen many years ago when an enemy made a sudden attack, and +looted, and burned. ... And at the same time what a difference +there really is between the present and the past! And when a little +more time has gone by, in two or three hundred years perhaps, +people will look at our present life with just the same fear, and +the same contempt, and the whole past will seem clumsy and dull, +and very uncomfortable, and strange. Oh, indeed, what a life there +will be, what a life! [Laughs] Forgive me, I've dropped into +philosophy again. Please let me continue. I do awfully want to +philosophize, it's just how I feel at present. [Pause] As if they +are all asleep. As I was saying: what a life there will be! Only +just imagine. ... There are only three persons like yourselves in +the town just now, but in future generations there will be more and +more, and still more, and the time will come when everything will +change and become as you would have it, people will live as you do, +and then you too will go out of date; people will be born who are +better than you. ... [Laughs] Yes, to-day I am quite exceptionally +in the vein. I am devilishly keen on living. ... [Sings.] + "The power of love all ages know, + From its assaults great good does grow." [Laughs.] + +MASHA. Trum-tum-tum ... + +VERSHININ. Tum-tum ... + +MASHA. Tra-ra-ra? + +VERSHININ. Tra-ta-ta. [Laughs.] + +[Enter FEDOTIK.] + +FEDOTIK. [Dancing] I'm burnt out, I'm burnt out! Down to the +ground! [Laughter.] + +IRINA. I don't see anything funny about it. Is everything burnt? + +FEDOTIK. [Laughs] Absolutely. Nothing left at all. The guitar's +burnt, and the photographs are burnt, and all my correspondence. ... +And I was going to make you a present of a note-book, and that's +burnt too. + +[SOLENI comes in.] + +IRINA. No, you can't come here, Vassili Vassilevitch. Please go +away. + +SOLENI. Why can the Baron come here and I can't? + +VERSHININ. We really must go. How's the fire? + +SOLENI. They say it's going down. No, I absolutely don't see why +the Baron can, and I can't? [Scents his hands.] + +VERSHININ. Trum-tum-tum. + +MASHA. Trum-tum. + +VERSHININ. [Laughs to SOLENI] Let's go into the dining-room. + +SOLENI. Very well, we'll make a note of it. "If I should try to +make this clear, the geese would be annoyed, I fear." [Looks at +TUZENBACH] There, there, there. ... [Goes out with VERSHININ and +FEDOTIK.] + +IRINA. How Soleni smelt of tobacco. ... [In surprise] The Baron's +asleep! Baron! Baron! + +TUZENBACH. [Waking] I am tired, I must say. ... The brickworks. ... +No, I'm not wandering, I mean it; I'm going to start work soon at +the brickworks ... I've already talked it over. [Tenderly, to +IRINA] You're so pale, and beautiful, and charming. ... Your +paleness seems to shine through the dark air as if it was a light. ... +You are sad, displeased with life. ... Oh, come with me, let's go +and work together! + +MASHA. Nicolai Lvovitch, go away from here. + +TUZENBACH. [Laughs] Are you here? I didn't see you. [Kisses IRINA'S +hand] good-bye, I'll go ... I look at you now and I remember, as if +it was long ago, your name-day, when you, cheerfully and merrily, +were talking about the joys of labour. ... And how happy life +seemed to me, then! What has happened to it now? [Kisses her hand] +There are tears in your eyes. Go to bed now; it is already day ... +the morning begins. ... If only I was allowed to give my life for +you! + +MASHA. Nicolai Lvovitch, go away! What business ... + +TUZENBACH. I'm off. [Exit.] + +MASHA. [Lies down] Are you asleep, Feodor? + +KULIGIN. Eh? + +MASHA. Shouldn't you go home. + +KULIGIN. My dear Masha, my darling Masha. ... + +IRINA. She's tired out. You might let her rest, Fedia. + +KULIGIN. I'll go at once. My wife's a good, splendid ... I love +you, my only one. ... + +MASHA. [Angrily] Amo, amas, amat, amamus, amatis, amant. + +KULIGIN. [Laughs] No, she really is wonderful. I've been your +husband seven years, and it seems as if I was only married +yesterday. On my word. No, you really are a wonderful woman. I'm +satisfied, I'm satisfied, I'm satisfied! + +MASHA. I'm bored, I'm bored, I'm bored. ... [Sits up] But I can't +get it out of my head. ... It's simply disgraceful. It has been +gnawing away at me ... I can't keep silent. I mean about Andrey. ... +He has mortgaged this house with the bank, and his wife has got all +the money; but the house doesn't belong to him alone, but to the +four of us! He ought to know that, if he's an honourable man. + +KULIGIN. What's the use, Masha? Andrey is in debt all round; well, +let him do as he pleases. + +MASHA. It's disgraceful, anyway. [Lies down] + +KULIGIN. You and I are not poor. I work, take my classes, give +private lessons ... I am a plain, honest man ... _Omnia mea mecum +porto_, as they say. + +MASHA. I don't want anything, but the unfairness of it disgusts me. +[Pause] You go, Feodor. + +KULIGIN. [Kisses her] You're tired, just rest for half an hour, and +I'll sit and wait for you. Sleep. ... [Going] I'm satisfied, I'm +satisfied, I'm satisfied. [Exit.] + +IRINA. Yes, really, our Andrey has grown smaller; how he's snuffed +out and aged with that woman! He used to want to be a professor, +and yesterday he was boasting that at last he had been made a +member of the district council. He is a member, and Protopopov is +chairman. ... The whole town talks and laughs about it, and he +alone knows and sees nothing. ... And now everybody's gone to look +at the fire, but he sits alone in his room and pays no attention, +only just plays on his fiddle. [Nervily] Oh, it's awful, awful, +awful. [Weeps] I can't, I can't bear it any longer! ... I can't, I +can't! ... [OLGA comes in and clears up at her little table. IRINA +is sobbing loudly] Throw me out, throw me out, I can't bear any +more! + +OLGA. [Alarmed] What is it, what is it? Dear! + +IRINA. [Sobbing] Where? Where has everything gone? Where is it all? +Oh my God, my God! I've forgotten everything, everything ... I +don't remember what is the Italian for window or, well, for ceiling ... +I forget everything, every day I forget it, and life passes and +will never return, and we'll never go away to Moscow ... I see that +we'll never go. ... + +OLGA. Dear, dear. ... + +IRINA. [Controlling herself] Oh, I am unhappy ... I can't work, I +shan't work. Enough, enough! I used to be a telegraphist, now I +work at the town council offices, and I have nothing but hate and +contempt for all they give me to do ... I am already twenty-three, +I have already been at work for a long while, and my brain has +dried up, and I've grown thinner, plainer, older, and there is no +relief of any sort, and time goes and it seems all the while as if +I am going away from the real, the beautiful life, farther and +farther away, down some precipice. I'm in despair and I can't +understand how it is that I am still alive, that I haven't killed +myself. + +OLGA. Don't cry, dear girl, don't cry ... I suffer, too. + +IRINA. I'm not crying, not crying. ... Enough. ... Look, I'm not +crying any more. Enough ... enough! + +OLGA. Dear, I tell you as a sister and a friend if you want my +advice, marry the Baron. [IRINA cries softly] You respect him, you +think highly of him. ... It is true that he is not handsome, but he +is so honourable and clean ... people don't marry from love, but in +order to do one's duty. I think so, at any rate, and I'd marry +without being in love. Whoever he was, I should marry him, so long +as he was a decent man. Even if he was old. ... + +IRINA. I was always waiting until we should be settled in Moscow, +there I should meet my true love; I used to think about him, and +love him. ... But it's all turned out to be nonsense, all nonsense. ... + +OLGA. [Embraces her sister] My dear, beautiful sister, I understand +everything; when Baron Nicolai Lvovitch left the army and came to +us in evening dress, [Note: I.e. in the correct dress for making a +proposal of marriage.] he seemed so bad-looking to me that I even +started crying. ... He asked, "What are you crying for?" How could +I tell him! But if God brought him to marry you, I should be happy. +That would be different, quite different. + +[NATASHA with a candle walks across the stage from right to left +without saying anything.] + +MASHA. [Sitting up] She walks as if she's set something on fire. + +OLGA. Masha, you're silly, you're the silliest of the family. +Please forgive me for saying so. [Pause.] + +MASHA. I want to make a confession, dear sisters. My soul is in +pain. I will confess to you, and never again to anybody ... I'll +tell you this minute. [Softly] It's my secret but you must know +everything ... I can't be silent. ... [Pause] I love, I love ... I +love that man. ... You saw him only just now. ... Why don't I say +it ... in one word. I love Vershinin. + +OLGA. [Goes behind her screen] Stop that, I don't hear you in any +case. + +MASHA. What am I to do? [Takes her head in her hands] First he +seemed queer to me, then I was sorry for him ... then I fell in +love with him ... fell in love with his voice, his words, his +misfortunes, his two daughters. + +OLGA. [Behind the screen] I'm not listening. You may talk any +nonsense you like, it will be all the same, I shan't hear. + +MASHA. Oh, Olga, you are foolish. I am in love--that means that is +to be my fate. It means that is to be my lot. ... And he loves me. ... +It is all awful. Yes; it isn't good, is it? [Takes IRINA'S hand and +draws her to her] Oh, my dear. ... How are we going to live through +our lives, what is to become of us. ... When you read a novel it +all seems so old and easy, but when you fall in love yourself, then +you learn that nobody knows anything, and each must decide for +himself. ... My dear ones, my sisters ... I've confessed, now I +shall keep silence. ... Like the lunatics in Gogol's story, I'm +going to be silent ... silent ... + +[ANDREY enters, followed by FERAPONT.] + +ANDREY. [Angrily] What do you want? I don't understand. + +FERAPONT. [At the door, impatiently] I've already told you ten +times, Andrey Sergeyevitch. + +ANDREY. In the first place I'm not Andrey Sergeyevitch, but sir. +[Note: Quite literally, "your high honour," to correspond to +Andrey's rank as a civil servant.] + +FERAPONT. The firemen, sir, ask if they can go across your garden +to the river. Else they go right round, right round; it's a +nuisance. + +ANDREY. All right. Tell them it's all right. [Exit FERAPONT] I'm +tired of them. Where is Olga? [OLGA comes out from behind the +screen] I came to you for the key of the cupboard. I lost my own. +You've got a little key. [OLGA gives him the key; IRINA goes behind +her screen; pause] What a huge fire! It's going down now. Hang it +all, that Ferapont made me so angry that I talked nonsense to him. ... +Sir, indeed. ... [A pause] Why are you so silent, Olga? [Pause] +It's time you stopped all that nonsense and behaved as if you were +properly alive. ... You are here, Masha. Irina is here, well, since +we're all here, let's come to a complete understanding, once and +for all. What have you against me? What is it? + +OLGA. Please don't, Audrey dear. We'll talk to-morrow. [Excited] +What an awful night! + +ANDREY. [Much confused] Don't excite yourself. I ask you in perfect +calmness; what have you against me? Tell me straight. + +VERSHININ'S VOICE. Trum-tum-tum! + +MASHA. [Stands; loudly] Tra-ta-ta! [To OLGA] Goodbye, Olga, God +bless you. [Goes behind screen and kisses IRINA] Sleep well. ... +Good-bye, Andrey. Go away now, they're tired ... you can explain +to-morrow. ... [Exit.] + +ANDREY. I'll only say this and go. Just now. ... In the first +place, you've got something against Natasha, my wife; I've noticed +it since the very day of my marriage. Natasha is a beautiful and +honest creature, straight and honourable--that's my opinion. I love +and respect my wife; understand it, I respect her, and I insist +that others should respect her too. I repeat, she's an honest and +honourable person, and all your disapproval is simply silly ... +[Pause] In the second place, you seem to be annoyed because I am +not a professor, and am not engaged in study. But I work for the +zemstvo, I am a member of the district council, and I consider my +service as worthy and as high as the service of science. I am a +member of the district council, and I am proud of it, if you want +to know. [Pause] In the third place, I have still this to say ... +that I have mortgaged the house without obtaining your permission. ... +For that I am to blame, and ask to be forgiven. My debts led me +into doing it ... thirty-five thousand ... I do not play at cards +any more, I stopped long ago, but the chief thing I have to say in +my defence is that you girls receive a pension, and I don't ... my +wages, so to speak. ... [Pause.] + +KULIGIN. [At the door] Is Masha there? [Excitedly] Where is she? +It's queer. ... [Exit.] + +ANDREY. They don't hear. Natasha is a splendid, honest person. +[Walks about in silence, then stops] When I married I thought we +should be happy ... all of us. ... But, my God. ... [Weeps] My +dear, dear sisters, don't believe me, don't believe me. ... [Exit.] + +[Fire-alarm. The stage is clear.] + +IRINA. [behind her screen] Olga, who's knocking on the floor? + +OLGA. It's doctor Ivan Romanovitch. He's drunk. + +IRINA. What a restless night! [Pause] Olga! [Looks out] Did you +hear? They are taking the brigade away from us; it's going to be +transferred to some place far away. + +OLGA. It's only a rumour. + +IRINA. Then we shall be left alone. ... Olga! + +OLGA. Well? + +IRINA. My dear, darling sister, I esteem, I highly value the Baron, +he's a splendid man; I'll marry him, I'll consent, only let's go to +Moscow! I implore you, let's go! There's nothing better than Moscow +on earth! Let's go, Olga, let's go! + +Curtain + + +ACT IV + +[The old garden at the house of the PROSOROVS. There is a long +avenue of firs, at the end of which the river can be seen. There is +a forest on the far side of the river. On the right is the terrace +of the house: bottles and tumblers are on a table here; it is +evident that champagne has just been drunk. It is midday. Every now +and again passers-by walk across the garden, from the road to the +river; five soldiers go past rapidly. CHEBUTIKIN, in a comfortable +frame of mind which does not desert him throughout the act, sits in +an armchair in the garden, waiting to be called. He wears a peaked +cap and has a stick. IRINA, KULIGIN with a cross hanging from his +neck and without his moustaches, and TUZENBACH are standing on the +terrace seeing off FEDOTIK and RODE, who are coming down into the +garden; both officers are in service uniform.] + +TUZENBACH. [Exchanges kisses with FEDOTIK] You're a good sort, we +got on so well together. [Exchanges kisses with RODE] Once again. ... +Good-bye, old man! + +IRINA. Au revoir! + +FEDOTIK. It isn't au revoir, it's good-bye; we'll never meet again! + +KULIGIN. Who knows! [Wipes his eyes; smiles] Here I've started +crying! + +IRINA. We'll meet again sometime. + +FEDOTIK. After ten years--or fifteen? We'll hardly know one another +then; we'll say, "How do you do?" coldly. ... [Takes a snapshot] +Keep still. ... Once more, for the last time. + +RODE. [Embracing TUZENBACH] We shan't meet again. ... [Kisses +IRINA'S hand] Thank you for everything, for everything! + +FEDOTIK. [Grieved] Don't be in such a hurry! + +TUZENBACH. We shall meet again, if God wills it. Write to us. Be +sure to write. + +RODE. [Looking round the garden] Good-bye, trees! [Shouts] Yo-ho! +[Pause] Good-bye, echo! + +KULIGIN. Best wishes. Go and get yourselves wives there in Poland. ... +Your Polish wife will clasp you and call you "kochanku!" [Note: +Darling.] [Laughs.] + +FEDOTIK. [Looking at the time] There's less than an hour left. +Soleni is the only one of our battery who is going on the barge; +the rest of us are going with the main body. Three batteries are +leaving to-day, another three to-morrow and then the town will be +quiet and peaceful. + +TUZENBACH. And terribly dull. + +RODE. And where is Maria Sergeyevna? + +KULIGIN. Masha is in the garden. + +FEDOTIK. We'd like to say good-bye to her. + +RODE. Good-bye, I must go, or else I'll start weeping. ... [Quickly +embraces KULIGIN and TUZENBACH, and kisses IRINA'S hand] We've been +so happy here. ... + +FEDOTIK. [To KULIGIN] Here's a keepsake for you ... a note-book +with a pencil. ... We'll go to the river from here. ... [They go +aside and both look round.] + +RODE. [Shouts] Yo-ho! + +KULIGIN. [Shouts] Good-bye! + +[At the back of the stage FEDOTIK and RODE meet MASHA; they say +good-bye and go out with her.] + +IRINA. They've gone. ... [Sits on the bottom step of the terrace.] + +CHEBUTIKIN. And they forgot to say good-bye to me. + +IRINA. But why is that? + +CHEBUTIKIN. I just forgot, somehow. Though I'll soon see them +again, I'm going to-morrow. Yes ... just one day left. I shall be +retired in a year, then I'll come here again, and finish my life +near you. I've only one year before I get my pension. ... [Puts one +newspaper into his pocket and takes another out] I'll come here to +you and change my life radically ... I'll be so quiet ... so agree ... +agreeable, respectable. ... + +IRINA. Yes, you ought to change your life, dear man, somehow or +other. + +CHEBUTIKIN. Yes, I feel it. [Sings softly.] + "Tarara-boom-deay. ..." + +KULIGIN. We won't reform Ivan Romanovitch! We won't reform him! + +CHEBUTIKIN. If only I was apprenticed to you! Then I'd reform. + +IRINA. Feodor has shaved his moustache! I can't bear to look at +him. + +KULIGIN. Well, what about it? + +CHEBUTIKIN. I could tell you what your face looks like now, but it +wouldn't be polite. + +KULIGIN. Well! It's the custom, it's modus vivendi. Our Director is +clean-shaven, and so I too, when I received my inspectorship, had +my moustaches removed. Nobody likes it, but it's all one to me. I'm +satisfied. Whether I've got moustaches or not, I'm satisfied. ... +[Sits.] + +[At the back of the stage ANDREY is wheeling a perambulator +containing a sleeping infant.] + +IRINA. Ivan Romanovitch, be a darling. I'm awfully worried. You +were out on the boulevard last night; tell me, what happened? + +CHEBUTIKIN. What happened? Nothing. Quite a trifling matter. [Reads +paper] Of no importance! + +KULIGIN. They say that Soleni and the Baron met yesterday on the +boulevard near the theatre. ... + +TUZENBACH. Stop! What right ... [Waves his hand and goes into the +house.] + +KULIGIN. Near the theatre ... Soleni started behaving offensively +to the Baron, who lost his temper and said something nasty. ... + +CHEBUTIKIN. I don't know. It's all bunkum. + +KULIGIN. At some seminary or other a master wrote "bunkum" on an +essay, and the student couldn't make the letters out--thought it +was a Latin word "luckum." [Laughs] Awfully funny, that. They say +that Soleni is in love with Irina and hates the Baron. ... That's +quite natural. Irina is a very nice girl. She's even like Masha, +she's so thoughtful. ... Only, Irina your character is gentler. +Though Masha's character, too, is a very good one. I'm very fond of +Masha. [Shouts of "Yo-ho!" are heard behind the stage.] + +IRINA. [Shudders] Everything seems to frighten me today. [Pause] +I've got everything ready, and I send my things off after dinner. +The Baron and I will be married to-morrow, and to-morrow we go away +to the brickworks, and the next day I go to the school, and the new +life begins. God will help me! When I took my examination for the +teacher's post, I actually wept for joy and gratitude. ... [Pause] +The cart will be here in a minute for my things. ... + +KULIGIN. Somehow or other, all this doesn't seem at all serious. As +if it was all ideas, and nothing really serious. Still, with all my +soul I wish you happiness. + +CHEBUTIKIN. [With deep feeling] My splendid ... my dear, precious +girl. ... You've gone on far ahead, I won't catch up with you. I'm +left behind like a migrant bird grown old, and unable to fly. Fly, +my dear, fly, and God be with you! [Pause] It's a pity you shaved +your moustaches, Feodor Ilitch. + +KULIGIN. Oh, drop it! [Sighs] To-day the soldiers will be gone, and +everything will go on as in the old days. Say what you will, Masha +is a good, honest woman. I love her very much, and thank my fate +for her. People have such different fates. There's a Kosirev who +works in the excise department here. He was at school with me; he +was expelled from the fifth class of the High School for being +entirely unable to understand _ut consecutivum_. He's awfully hard +up now and in very poor health, and when I meet him I say to him, +"How do you do, _ut consecutivum_." "Yes," he says, "precisely +_consecutivum_ ..." and coughs. But I've been successful all my +life, I'm happy, and I even have a Stanislaus Cross, of the second +class, and now I myself teach others that _ut consecutivum_. Of +course, I'm a clever man, much cleverer than many, but happiness +doesn't only lie in that. ... + +["The Maiden's Prayer" is being played on the piano in the house.] + +IRINA. To-morrow night I shan't hear that "Maiden's Prayer" any +more, and I shan't be meeting Protopopov. ... [Pause] Protopopov is +sitting there in the drawing-room; and he came to-day ... + +KULIGIN. Hasn't the head-mistress come yet? + +IRINA. No. She has been sent for. If you only knew how difficult it +is for me to live alone, without Olga. ... She lives at the High +School; she, a head-mistress, busy all day with her affairs and I'm +alone, bored, with nothing to do, and hate the room I live in. ... +I've made up my mind: if I can't live in Moscow, then it must come +to this. It's fate. It can't be helped. It's all the will of God, +that's the truth. Nicolai Lvovitch made me a proposal. ... Well? I +thought it over and made up my mind. He's a good man ... it's quite +remarkable how good he is. ... And suddenly my soul put out wings, +I became happy, and light-hearted, and once again the desire for +work, work, came over me. ... Only something happened yesterday, +some secret dread has been hanging over me. ... + +CHEBUTIKIN. Luckum. Rubbish. + +NATASHA. [At the window] The head-mistress. + +KULIGIN. The head-mistress has come. Let's go. [Exit with IRINA +into the house.] + +CHEBUTIKIN. "It is my washing day. ... Tara-ra ... boom-deay." + +[MASHA approaches, ANDREY is wheeling a perambulator at the back.] + +MASHA. Here you are, sitting here, doing nothing. + +CHEBUTIKIN. What then? + +MASHA. [Sits] Nothing. ... [Pause] Did you love my mother? + +CHEBUTIKIN. Very much. + +MASHA. And did she love you? + +CHEBUTIKIN. [After a pause] I don't remember that. + +MASHA. Is my man here? When our cook Martha used to ask about her +gendarme, she used to say my man. Is he here? + +CHEBUTIKIN. Not yet. + +MASHA. When you take your happiness in little bits, in snatches, +and then lose it, as I have done, you gradually get coarser, more +bitter. [Points to her bosom] I'm boiling in here. ... [Looks at +ANDREY with the perambulator] There's our brother Andrey. ... All +our hopes in him have gone. There was once a great bell, a thousand +persons were hoisting it, much money and labour had been spent on +it, when it suddenly fell and was broken. Suddenly, for no +particular reason. ... Andrey is like that. ... + +ANDREY. When are they going to stop making such a noise in the +house? It's awful. + +CHEBUTIKIN. They won't be much longer. [Looks at his watch] My +watch is very old-fashioned, it strikes the hours. ... [Winds the +watch and makes it strike] The first, second, and fifth batteries +are to leave at one o'clock precisely. [Pause] And I go to-morrow. + +ANDREY. For good? + +CHEBUTIKIN. I don't know. Perhaps I'll return in a year. The devil +only knows ... it's all one. ... [Somewhere a harp and violin are +being played.] + +ANDREY. The town will grow empty. It will be as if they put a cover +over it. [Pause] Something happened yesterday by the theatre. The +whole town knows of it, but I don't. + +CHEBUTIKIN. Nothing. A silly little affair. Soleni started +irritating the Baron, who lost his temper and insulted him, and so +at last Soleni had to challenge him. [Looks at his watch] It's +about time, I think. ... At half-past twelve, in the public wood, +that one you can see from here across the river. ... Piff-paff. +[Laughs] Soleni thinks he's Lermontov, and even writes verses. +That's all very well, but this is his third duel. + +MASHA. Whose? + +CHEBUTIKIN. Soleni's. + +MASHA. And the Baron? + +CHEBUTIKIN. What about the Baron? [Pause.] + +MASHA. Everything's all muddled up in my head. ... But I say it +ought not to be allowed. He might wound the Baron or even kill him. + +CHEBUTIKIN. The Baron is a good man, but one Baron more or less-- +what difference does it make? It's all the same! [Beyond the garden +somebody shouts "Co-ee! Hallo! "] You wait. That's Skvortsov +shouting; one of the seconds. He's in a boat. [Pause.] + +ANDREY. In my opinion it's simply immoral to fight in a duel, or to +be present, even in the quality of a doctor. + +CHEBUTIKIN. It only seems so. ... We don't exist, there's nothing +on earth, we don't really live, it only seems that we live. Does it +matter, anyway! + +MASHA. You talk and talk the whole day long. [Going] You live in a +climate like this, where it might snow any moment, and there you +talk. ... [Stops] I won't go into the house, I can't go there. ... +Tell me when Vershinin comes. ... [Goes along the avenue] The +migrant birds are already on the wing. ... [Looks up] Swans or +geese. ... My dear, happy things. ... [Exit.] + +ANDREY. Our house will be empty. The officers will go away, you are +going, my sister is getting married, and I alone will remain in the +house. + +CHEBUTIKIN. And your wife? + +[FERAPONT enters with some documents.] + +ANDREY. A wife's a wife. She's honest, well-bred, yes; and kind, +but with all that there is still something about her that +degenerates her into a petty, blind, even in some respects +misshapen animal. In any case, she isn't a man. I tell you as a +friend, as the only man to whom I can lay bare my soul. I love +Natasha, it's true, but sometimes she seems extraordinarily vulgar, +and then I lose myself and can't understand why I love her so much, +or, at any rate, used to love her. ... + +CHEBUTIKIN. [Rises] I'm going away to-morrow, old chap, and perhaps +we'll never meet again, so here's my advice. Put on your cap, take +a stick in your hand, go ... go on and on, without looking round. +And the farther you go, the better. + +[SOLENI goes across the back of the stage with two officers; he +catches sight of CHEBUTIKIN, and turns to him, the officers go on.] + +SOLENI. Doctor, it's time. It's half-past twelve already. [Shakes +hands with ANDREY.] + +CHEBUTIKIN. Half a minute. I'm tired of the lot of you. [To ANDREY] +If anybody asks for me, say I'll be back soon. ... [Sighs] Oh, oh, +oh! + +SOLENI. "He didn't have the time to sigh. The bear sat on him +heavily." [Goes up to him] What are you groaning about, old man? + +CHEBUTIKIN. Stop it! + +SOLENI. How's your health? + +CHEBUTIKIN. [Angry] Mind your own business. + +SOLENI. The old man is unnecessarily excited. I won't go far, I'll +only just bring him down like a snipe. [Takes out his scent-bottle +and scents his hands] I've poured out a whole bottle of scent +to-day and they still smell ... of a dead body. [Pause] Yes. ... +You remember the poem + "But he, the rebel seeks the storm, + As if the storm will bring him rest ..."? + +CHEBUTIKIN. Yes. + "He didn't have the time to sigh, + The bear sat on him heavily." +[Exit with SOLENI.] + +[Shouts are heard. ANDREY and FERAPONT come in.] + +FERAPONT. Documents to sign. ... + +ANDREY. [Irritated]. Go away! Leave me! Please! [Goes away with the +perambulator.] + +FERAPONT. That's what documents are for, to be signed. [Retires to +back of stage.] + +[Enter IRINA, with TUZENBACH in a straw hat; KULIGIN walks across +the stage, shouting "Co-ee, Masha, co-ee!"] + +TUZENBACH. He seems to be the only man in the town who is glad that +the soldiers are going. + +IRINA. One can understand that. [Pause] The town will be empty. + +TUZENBACH. My dear, I shall return soon. + +IRINA. Where are you going? + +TUZENBACH. I must go into the town and then ... see the others off. + +IRINA. It's not true ... Nicolai, why are you so absentminded +to-day? [Pause] What took place by the theatre yesterday? + +TUZENBACH. [Making a movement of impatience] In an hour's time I +shall return and be with you again. [Kisses her hands] My darling ... +[Looking her closely in the face] it's five years now since I fell +in love with you, and still I can't get used to it, and you seem to +me to grow more and more beautiful. What lovely, wonderful hair! +What eyes! I'm going to take you away to-morrow. We shall work, we +shall be rich, my dreams will come true. You will be happy. There's +only one thing, one thing only: you don't love me! + +IRINA. It isn't in my power! I shall be your wife, I shall be true +to you, and obedient to you, but I can't love you. What can I do! +[Cries] I have never been in love in my life. Oh, I used to think +so much of love, I have been thinking about it for so long by day +and by night, but my soul is like an expensive piano which is +locked and the key lost. [Pause] You seem so unhappy. + +TUZENBACH. I didn't sleep at night. There is nothing in my life so +awful as to be able to frighten me, only that lost key torments my +soul and does not let me sleep. Say something to me [Pause] say +something to me. ... + +IRINA. What can I say, what? + +TUZENBACH. Anything. + +IRINA. Don't! don't! [Pause.] + +TUZENBACH. It is curious how silly trivial little things, sometimes +for no apparent reason, become significant. At first you laugh at +these things, you think they are of no importance, you go on and +you feel that you haven't got the strength to stop yourself. Oh +don't let's talk about it! I am happy. It is as if for the first +time in my life I see these firs, maples, beeches, and they all +look at me inquisitively and wait. What beautiful trees and how +beautiful, when one comes to think of it, life must be near them! +[A shout of Co-ee! in the distance] It's time I went. ... There's a +tree which has dried up but it still sways in the breeze with the +others. And so it seems to me that if I die, I shall still take +part in life in one way or another. Good-bye, dear. ... [Kisses her +hands] The papers which you gave me are on my table under the +calendar. + +IRINA. I am coming with you. + +TUZENBACH. [Nervously] No, no! [He goes quickly and stops in the +avenue] Irina! + +IRINA. What is it? + +TUZENBACH. [Not knowing what to say] I haven't had any coffee +to-day. Tell them to make me some. ... [He goes out quickly.] + +[IRINA stands deep in thought. Then she goes to the back of the +stage and sits on a swing. ANDREY comes in with the perambulator +and FERAPONT also appears.] + +FERAPONT. Andrey Sergeyevitch, it isn't as if the documents were +mine, they are the government's. I didn't make them. + +ANDREY. Oh, what has become of my past and where is it? I used to +be young, happy, clever, I used to be able to think and frame +clever ideas, the present and the future seemed to me full of hope. +Why do we, almost before we have begun to live, become dull, grey, +uninteresting, lazy, apathetic, useless, unhappy. ... This town has +already been in existence for two hundred years and it has a +hundred thousand inhabitants, not one of whom is in any way +different from the others. There has never been, now or at any +other time, a single leader of men, a single scholar, an artist, a +man of even the slightest eminence who might arouse envy or a +passionate desire to be imitated. They only eat, drink, sleep, and +then they die ... more people are born and also eat, drink, sleep, +and so as not to go silly from boredom, they try to make life +many-sided with their beastly backbiting, vodka, cards, and +litigation. The wives deceive their husbands, and the husbands lie, +and pretend they see nothing and hear nothing, and the evil +influence irresistibly oppresses the children and the divine spark +in them is extinguished, and they become just as pitiful corpses +and just as much like one another as their fathers and mothers. ... +[Angrily to FERAPONT] What do you want? + +FERAPONT. What? Documents want signing. + +ANDREY. I'm tired of you. + +FERAPONT. [Handing him papers] The hall-porter from the law courts +was saying just now that in the winter there were two hundred +degrees of frost in Petersburg. + +ANDREY. The present is beastly, but when I think of the future, how +good it is! I feel so light, so free; there is a light in the +distance, I see freedom. I see myself and my children freeing +ourselves from vanities, from kvass, from goose baked with cabbage, +from after-dinner naps, from base idleness. ... + +FERAPONT. He was saying that two thousand people were frozen to +death. The people were frightened, he said. In Petersburg or +Moscow, I don't remember which. + +ANDREY. [Overcome by a tender emotion] My dear sisters, my +beautiful sisters! [Crying] Masha, my sister. ... + +NATASHA. [At the window] Who's talking so loudly out here? Is that +you, Andrey? You'll wake little Sophie. _Il ne faut pas faire du +bruit, la Sophie est dorme deja. Vous tes un ours._ [Angrily] If +you want to talk, then give the perambulator and the baby to +somebody else. Ferapont, take the perambulator! + +FERAPONT. Yes'm. [Takes the perambulator.] + +ANDREY. [Confused] I'm speaking quietly. + +NATASHA. [At the window, nursing her boy] Bobby! Naughty Bobby! Bad +little Bobby! + +ANDREY. [Looking through the papers] All right, I'll look them over +and sign if necessary, and you can take them back to the offices. ... + +[Goes into house reading papers; FERAPONT takes the perambulator to +the back of the garden.] + +NATASHA. [At the window] Bobby, what's your mother's name? Dear, +dear! And who's this? That's Aunt Olga. Say to your aunt, "How do +you do, Olga!" + +[Two wandering musicians, a man and a girl, are playing on a violin +and a harp. VERSHININ, OLGA, and ANFISA come out of the house and +listen for a minute in silence; IRINA comes up to them.] + +OLGA. Our garden might be a public thoroughfare, from the way +people walk and ride across it. Nurse, give those musicians +something! + +ANFISA. [Gives money to the musicians] Go away with God's blessing +on you. [The musicians bow and go away] A bitter sort of people. +You don't play on a full stomach. [To IRINA] How do you do, Arisha! +[Kisses her] Well, little girl, here I am, still alive! Still +alive! In the High School, together with little Olga, in her +official apartments ... so the Lord has appointed for my old age. +Sinful woman that I am, I've never lived like that in my life +before. ... A large flat, government property, and I've a whole +room and bed to myself. All government property. I wake up at +nights and, oh God, and Holy Mother, there isn't a happier person +than I! + +VERSHININ. [Looks at his watch] We are going soon, Olga Sergeyevna. +It's time for me to go. [Pause] I wish you every ... every. ... +Where's Maria Sergeyevna? + +IRINA. She's somewhere in the garden. I'll go and look for her. + +VERSHININ. If you'll be so kind. I haven't time. + +ANFISA. I'll go and look, too. [Shouts] Little Masha, co-ee! [Goes +out with IRINA down into the garden] Co-ee, co-ee! + +VERSHININ. Everything comes to an end. And so we, too, must part. +[Looks at his watch] The town gave us a sort of farewell breakfast, +we had champagne to drink and the mayor made a speech, and I ate +and listened, but my soul was here all the time. ... [Looks round +the garden] I'm so used to you now. + +OLGA. Shall we ever meet again? + +VERSHININ. Probably not. [Pause] My wife and both my daughters will +stay here another two months. If anything happens, or if anything +has to be done ... + +OLGA. Yes, yes, of course. You need not worry. [Pause] To-morrow +there won't be a single soldier left in the town, it will all be a +memory, and, of course, for us a new life will begin. ... [Pause] +None of our plans are coming right. I didn't want to be a +head-mistress, but they made me one, all the same. It means there's +no chance of Moscow. ... + +VERSHININ. Well ... thank you for everything. Forgive me if I've ... +I've said such an awful lot--forgive me for that too, don't think +badly of me. + +OLGA. [Wipes her eyes] Why isn't Masha coming ... + +VERSHININ. What else can I say in parting? Can I philosophize about +anything? [Laughs] Life is heavy. To many of us it seems dull and +hopeless, but still, it must be acknowledged that it is getting +lighter and clearer, and it seems that the time is not far off when +it will be quite clear. [Looks at his watch] It's time I went! +Mankind used to be absorbed in wars, and all its existence was +filled with campaigns, attacks, defeats, now we've outlived all +that, leaving after us a great waste place, which there is nothing +to fill with at present; but mankind is looking for something, and +will certainly find it. Oh, if it only happened more quickly. +[Pause] If only education could be added to industry, and industry +to education. [Looks at his watch] It's time I went. ... + +OLGA. Here she comes. + +[Enter MASHA.] + +VERSHININ. I came to say good-bye. ... + +[OLGA steps aside a little, so as not to be in their way.] + +MASHA. [Looking him in the face] Good-bye. [Prolonged kiss.] + +OLGA. Don't, don't. [MASHA is crying bitterly] + +VERSHININ. Write to me. ... Don't forget! Let me go. ... It's time. +Take her, Olga Sergeyevna ... it's time ... I'm late ... + +[He kisses OLGA'S hand in evident emotion, then embraces MASHA once +more and goes out quickly.] + +OLGA. Don't, Masha! Stop, dear. ... [KULIGIN enters.] + +KULIGIN. [Confused] Never mind, let her cry, let her. ... My dear +Masha, my good Masha. ... You're my wife, and I'm happy, whatever +happens ... I'm not complaining, I don't reproach you at all. ... +Olga is a witness to it. Let's begin to live again as we used to, +and not by a single word, or hint ... + +MASHA. [Restraining her sobs] + "There stands a green oak by the sea, + And a chain of bright gold is around it. ... + And a chain of bright gold is around it. ..." + +I'm going off my head ... "There stands ... a green oak ... by the +sea." ... + +OLGA. Don't, Masha, don't ... give her some water. ... + +MASHA. I'm not crying any more. ... + +KULIGIN. She's not crying any more ... she's a good ... [A shot is +heard from a distance.] + +MASHA. + "There stands a green oak by the sea, + And a chain of bright gold is around it ... + An oak of green gold. ..." + +I'm mixing it up. ... [Drinks some water] Life is dull. . . I don't +want anything more now ... I'll be all right in a moment. ... It +doesn't matter. ... What do those lines mean? Why do they run in +my head? My thoughts are all tangled. + +[IRINA enters.] + +OLGA. Be quiet, Masha. There's a good girl. ... Let's go in. + +MASHA. [Angrily] I shan't go in there. [Sobs, but controls herself +at once] I'm not going to go into the house, I won't go. ... + +IRINA. Let's sit here together and say nothing. I'm going away +to-morrow. ... [Pause.] + +KULIGIN. Yesterday I took away these whiskers and this beard from +a boy in the third class. ... [He puts on the whiskers and beard] +Don't I look like the German master. ... [Laughs] Don't I? The boys +are amusing. + +MASHA. You really do look like that German of yours. + +OLGA. [Laughs] Yes. [MASHA weeps.] + +IRINA. Don't, Masha! + +KULIGIN. It's a very good likeness. ... + +[Enter NATASHA.] + +NATASHA. [To the maid] What? Mihail Ivanitch Protopopov will sit with +little Sophie, and Andrey Sergeyevitch can take little Bobby out. +Children are such a bother. ... [To IRINA] Irina, it's such a pity +you're going away to-morrow. Do stop just another week. [Sees KULIGIN +and screams; he laughs and takes off his beard and whiskers] How you +frightened me! [To IRINA] I've grown used to you and do you think it +will be easy for me to part from you? I'm going to have Andrey and +his violin put into your room--let him fiddle away in there!--and +we'll put little Sophie into his room. The beautiful, lovely child! +What a little girlie! To-day she looked at me with such pretty eyes +and said "Mamma!" + +KULIGIN. A beautiful child, it's quite true. + +NATASHA. That means I shall have the place to myself to-morrow. [Sighs] +In the first place I shall have that avenue of fir-trees cut down, then +that maple. It's so ugly at nights. ... [To IRINA] That belt doesn't +suit you at all, dear. ... It's an error of taste. And I'll give orders +to have lots and lots of little flowers planted here, and they'll +smell. ... [Severely] Why is there a fork lying about here on the seat? +[Going towards the house, to the maid] Why is there a fork lying about +here on the seat, I say? [Shouts] Don't you dare to answer me! + +KULIGIN. Temper! temper! [A march is played off; they all listen.] + +OLGA. They're going. + +[CHEBUTIKIN comes in.] + +MASHA. They're going. Well, well. ... Bon voyage! [To her husband] We +must be going home. ... Where's my coat and hat? + +KULIGIN. I took them in ... I'll bring them, in a moment. + +OLGA. Yes, now we can all go home. It's time. + +CHEBUTIKIN. Olga Sergeyevna! + +OLGA. What is it? [Pause] What is it? + +CHEBUTIKIN. Nothing ... I don't know how to tell you. ... [Whispers +to her.] + +OLGA. [Frightened] It can't be true! + +CHEBUTIKIN. Yes ... such a story ... I'm tired out, exhausted, I won't +say any more. ... [Sadly] Still, it's all the same! + +MASHA. What's happened? + +OLGA. [Embraces IRINA] This is a terrible day ... I don't know how to +tell you, dear. ... + +IRINA. What is it? Tell me quickly, what is it? For God's sake! [Cries.] + +CHEBUTIKIN. The Baron was killed in the duel just now. + +IRINA. [Cries softly] I knew it, I knew it. ... + +CHEBUTIKIN. [Sits on a bench at the back of the stage] I'm tired. ... +[Takes a paper from his pocket] Let 'em cry. ... [Sings softly] +"Tarara-boom-deay, it is my washing day. ..." Isn't it all the same! + +[The three sisters are standing, pressing against one another.] + +MASHA. Oh, how the music plays! They are leaving us, one has quite +left us, quite and for ever. We remain alone, to begin our life over +again. We must live ... we must live. ... + +IRINA. [Puts her head on OLGA's bosom] There will come a time when +everybody will know why, for what purpose, there is all this suffering, +and there will be no more mysteries. But now we must live ... we must +work, just work! To-morrow, I'll go away alone, and I'll teach and give +my whole life to those who, perhaps, need it. It's autumn now, soon it +will be winter, the snow will cover everything, and I shall be working, +working. ... + +OLGA. [Embraces both her sisters] The bands are playing so gaily, so +bravely, and one does so want to live! Oh, my God! Time will pass on, +and we shall depart for ever, we shall be forgotten; they will forget +our faces, voices, and even how many there were of us, but our sufferings +will turn into joy for those who will live after us, happiness and +peace will reign on earth, and people will remember with kindly words, +and bless those who are living now. Oh dear sisters, our life is not +yet at an end. Let us live. The music is so gay, so joyful, and, it +seems that in a little while we shall know why we are living, why +we are suffering. ... If we could only know, if we could only know! + +[The music has been growing softer and softer; KULIGIN, smiling happily, +brings out the hat and coat; ANDREY wheels out the perambulator in +which BOBBY is sitting.] + +CHEBUTIKIN. [Sings softly] "Tara. . . ra-boom-deay. ... It is my +washing-day." ... [Reads a paper] It's all the same! It's all the same! + +OLGA. If only we could know, if only we could know! + +Curtain. + + + +THE CHERRY ORCHARD +A COMEDY IN FOUR ACTS + + +CHARACTERS + +LUBOV ANDREYEVNA RANEVSKY (Mme. RANEVSKY), a landowner +ANYA, her daughter, aged seventeen +VARYA (BARBARA), her adopted daughter, aged twenty-seven +LEONID ANDREYEVITCH GAEV, Mme. Ranevsky's brother +ERMOLAI ALEXEYEVITCH LOPAKHIN, a merchant +PETER SERGEYEVITCH TROFIMOV, a student +BORIS BORISOVITCH SIMEONOV-PISCHIN, a landowner +CHARLOTTA IVANOVNA, a governess +SIMEON PANTELEYEVITCH EPIKHODOV, a clerk +DUNYASHA (AVDOTYA FEDOROVNA), a maidservant +FIERS, an old footman, aged eighty-seven +YASHA, a young footman +A TRAMP +A STATION-MASTER +POST-OFFICE CLERK +GUESTS +A SERVANT + +The action takes place on Mme. RANEVSKY'S estate + + +ACT ONE + + +[A room which is still called the nursery. One of the doors leads +into ANYA'S room. It is close on sunrise. It is May. The cherry-trees +are in flower but it is chilly in the garden. There is an early +frost. The windows of the room are shut. DUNYASHA comes in with a +candle, and LOPAKHIN with a book in his hand.] + +LOPAKHIN. The train's arrived, thank God. What's the time? + +DUNYASHA. It will soon be two. [Blows out candle] It is light +already. + +LOPAKHIN. How much was the train late? Two hours at least. [Yawns +and stretches himself] I have made a rotten mess of it! I came here +on purpose to meet them at the station, and then overslept myself ... +in my chair. It's a pity. I wish you'd wakened me. + +DUNYASHA. I thought you'd gone away. [Listening] I think I hear +them coming. + +LOPAKHIN. [Listens] No. ... They've got to collect their luggage +and so on. ... [Pause] Lubov Andreyevna has been living abroad for +five years; I don't know what she'll be like now. ... She's a good +sort--an easy, simple person. I remember when I was a boy of +fifteen, my father, who is dead--he used to keep a shop in the +village here--hit me on the face with his fist, and my nose bled. ... +We had gone into the yard together for something or other, and he +was a little drunk. Lubov Andreyevna, as I remember her now, was +still young, and very thin, and she took me to the washstand here +in this very room, the nursery. She said, "Don't cry, little man, +it'll be all right in time for your wedding." [Pause] "Little man". ... +My father was a peasant, it's true, but here I am in a white +waistcoat and yellow shoes ... a pearl out of an oyster. I'm rich +now, with lots of money, but just think about it and examine me, +and you'll find I'm still a peasant down to the marrow of my bones. +[Turns over the pages of his book] Here I've been reading this +book, but I understood nothing. I read and fell asleep. [Pause.] + +DUNYASHA. The dogs didn't sleep all night; they know that they're +coming. + +LOPAKHIN. What's up with you, Dunyasha ...? + +DUNYASHA. My hands are shaking. I shall faint. + +LOPAKHIN. You're too sensitive, Dunyasha. You dress just like a +lady, and you do your hair like one too. You oughtn't. You should +know your place. + +EPIKHODOV. [Enters with a bouquet. He wears a short jacket and +brilliantly polished boots which squeak audibly. He drops the +bouquet as he enters, then picks it up] The gardener sent these; +says they're to go into the dining-room. [Gives the bouquet to +DUNYASHA.] + +LOPAKHIN. And you'll bring me some kvass. + +DUNYASHA. Very well. [Exit.] + +EPIKHODOV. There's a frost this morning--three degrees, and the +cherry-trees are all in flower. I can't approve of our climate. +[Sighs] I can't. Our climate is indisposed to favour us even this +once. And, Ermolai Alexeyevitch, allow me to say to you, in +addition, that I bought myself some boots two days ago, and I beg +to assure you that they squeak in a perfectly unbearable manner. +What shall I put on them? + +LOPAKHIN. Go away. You bore me. + +EPIKHODOV. Some misfortune happens to me every day. But I don't +complain; I'm used to it, and I can smile. [DUNYASHA comes in and +brings LOPAKHIN some kvass] I shall go. [Knocks over a chair] +There. ... [Triumphantly] There, you see, if I may use the word, +what circumstances I am in, so to speak. It is even simply +marvellous. [Exit.] + +DUNYASHA. I may confess to you, Ermolai Alexeyevitch, that +Epikhodov has proposed to me. + +LOPAKHIN. Ah! + +DUNYASHA. I don't know what to do about it. He's a nice young man, +but every now and again, when he begins talking, you can't +understand a word he's saying. I think I like him. He's madly in +love with me. He's an unlucky man; every day something happens. We +tease him about it. They call him "Two-and-twenty troubles." + +LOPAKHIN. [Listens] There they come, I think. + +DUNYASHA. They're coming! What's the matter with me? I'm cold all +over. + +LOPAKHIN. There they are, right enough. Let's go and meet them. +Will she know me? We haven't seen each other for five years. + +DUNYASHA. [Excited] I shall faint in a minute. ... Oh, I'm +fainting! + +[Two carriages are heard driving up to the house. LOPAKHIN and +DUNYASHA quickly go out. The stage is empty. A noise begins in the +next room. FIERS, leaning on a stick, walks quickly across the +stage; he has just been to meet LUBOV ANDREYEVNA. He wears an +old-fashioned livery and a tall hat. He is saying something to +himself, but not a word of it can be made out. The noise behind the +stage gets louder and louder. A voice is heard: "Let's go in +there." Enter LUBOV ANDREYEVNA, ANYA, and CHARLOTTA IVANOVNA with a +little dog on a chain, and all dressed in travelling clothes, VARYA +in a long coat and with a kerchief on her head. GAEV, SIMEONOV-PISCHIN, +LOPAKHIN, DUNYASHA with a parcel and an umbrella, and a servant +with luggage--all cross the room.] + +ANYA. Let's come through here. Do you remember what this room is, +mother? + +LUBOV. [Joyfully, through her tears] The nursery! + +VARYA. How cold it is! My hands are quite numb. [To LUBOV +ANDREYEVNA] Your rooms, the white one and the violet one, are just +as they used to be, mother. + +LUBOV. My dear nursery, oh, you beautiful room. ... I used to sleep +here when I was a baby. [Weeps] And here I am like a little girl +again. [Kisses her brother, VARYA, then her brother again] And +Varya is just as she used to be, just like a nun. And I knew +Dunyasha. [Kisses her.] + +GAEV. The train was two hours late. There now; how's that for +punctuality? + +CHARLOTTA. [To PISCHIN] My dog eats nuts too. + +PISCHIN. [Astonished] To think of that, now! + +[All go out except ANYA and DUNYASHA.] + +DUNYASHA. We did have to wait for you! + +[Takes off ANYA'S cloak and hat.] + +ANYA. I didn't get any sleep for four nights on the journey. ... +I'm awfully cold. + +DUNYASHA. You went away during Lent, when it was snowing and +frosty, but now? Darling! [Laughs and kisses her] We did have to +wait for you, my joy, my pet. ... I must tell you at once, I can't +bear to wait a minute. + +ANYA. [Tired] Something else now ...? + +DUNYASHA. The clerk, Epikhodov, proposed to me after Easter. + +ANYA. Always the same. ... [Puts her hair straight] I've lost all +my hairpins. ... [She is very tired, and even staggers as she +walks.] + +DUNYASHA. I don't know what to think about it. He loves me, he +loves me so much! + +ANYA. [Looks into her room; in a gentle voice] My room, my windows, +as if I'd never gone away. I'm at home! To-morrow morning I'll get +up and have a run in the garden. ...Oh, if I could only get to +sleep! I didn't sleep the whole journey, I was so bothered. + +DUNYASHA. Peter Sergeyevitch came two days ago. + +ANYA. [Joyfully] Peter! + +DUNYASHA. He sleeps in the bath-house, he lives there. He said he +was afraid he'd be in the way. [Looks at her pocket-watch] I ought +to wake him, but Barbara Mihailovna told me not to. "Don't wake +him," she said. + +[Enter VARYA, a bunch of keys on her belt.] + +VARYA. Dunyasha, some coffee, quick. Mother wants some. + +DUNYASHA. This minute. [Exit.] + +VARYA. Well, you've come, glory be to God. Home again. [Caressing +her] My darling is back again! My pretty one is back again! + +ANYA. I did have an awful time, I tell you. + +VARYA. I can just imagine it! + +ANYA. I went away in Holy Week; it was very cold then. Charlotta +talked the whole way and would go on performing her tricks. Why did +you tie Charlotta on to me? + +VARYA. You couldn't go alone, darling, at seventeen! + +ANYA. We went to Paris; it's cold there and snowing. I talk French +perfectly horribly. My mother lives on the fifth floor. I go to +her, and find her there with various Frenchmen, women, an old abb +with a book, and everything in tobacco smoke and with no comfort at +all. I suddenly became very sorry for mother--so sorry that I took +her head in my arms and hugged her and wouldn't let her go. Then +mother started hugging me and crying. ... + +VARYA. [Weeping] Don't say any more, don't say any more. ... + +ANYA. She's already sold her villa near Mentone; she's nothing +left, nothing. And I haven't a copeck left either; we only just +managed to get here. And mother won't understand! We had dinner at +a station; she asked for all the expensive things, and tipped the +waiters one rouble each. And Charlotta too. Yasha wants his share +too--it's too bad. Mother's got a footman now, Yasha; we've +brought him here. + +VARYA. I saw the wretch. + +ANYA. How's business? Has the interest been paid? + +VARYA. Not much chance of that. + +ANYA. Oh God, oh God ... + +VARYA. The place will be sold in August. + +ANYA. O God. ... + +LOPAKHIN. [Looks in at the door and moos] Moo! ... [Exit.] + +VARYA. [Through her tears] I'd like to. ... [Shakes her fist.] + +ANYA. [Embraces VARYA, softly] Varya, has he proposed to you? +[VARYA shakes head] But he loves you. ... Why don't you make up +your minds? Why do you keep on waiting? + +VARYA. I think that it will all come to nothing. He's a busy man. +I'm not his affair ... he pays no attention to me. Bless the man, I +don't want to see him. ... But everybody talks about our marriage, +everybody congratulates me, and there's nothing in it at all, it's +all like a dream. [In another tone] You've got a brooch like a bee. + +ANYA. [Sadly] Mother bought it. [Goes into her room, and talks +lightly, like a child] In Paris I went up in a balloon! + +VARYA. My darling's come back, my pretty one's come back! [DUNYASHA +has already returned with the coffee-pot and is making the coffee, +VARYA stands near the door] I go about all day, looking after the +house, and I think all the time, if only you could marry a rich +man, then I'd be happy and would go away somewhere by myself, then +to Kiev ... to Moscow, and so on, from one holy place to another. +I'd tramp and tramp. That would be splendid! + +ANYA. The birds are singing in the garden. What time is it now? + +VARYA. It must be getting on for three. Time you went to sleep, +darling. [Goes into ANYA'S room] Splendid! + +[Enter YASHA with a plaid shawl and a travelling bag.] + +YASHA. [Crossing the stage: Politely] May I go this way? + +DUNYASHA. I hardly knew you, Yasha. You have changed abroad. + +YASHA. Hm ... and who are you? + +DUNYASHA. When you went away I was only so high. [Showing with her +hand] I'm Dunyasha, the daughter of Theodore Kozoyedov. You don't +remember! + +YASHA. Oh, you little cucumber! + +[Looks round and embraces her. She screams and drops a saucer. +YASHA goes out quickly.] + +VARYA. [In the doorway: In an angry voice] What's that? + +DUNYASHA. [Through her tears] I've broken a saucer. + +VARYA. It may bring luck. + +ANYA. [Coming out of her room] We must tell mother that Peter's +here. + +VARYA. I told them not to wake him. + +ANYA. [Thoughtfully] Father died six years ago, and a month later +my brother Grisha was drowned in the river--such a dear little boy +of seven! Mother couldn't bear it; she went away, away, without +looking round. ... [Shudders] How I understand her; if only she +knew! [Pause] And Peter Trofimov was Grisha's tutor, he might tell +her. ... + +[Enter FIERS in a short jacket and white waistcoat.] + +FIERS. [Goes to the coffee-pot, nervously] The mistress is going to +have some food here. ... [Puts on white gloves] Is the coffee +ready? [To DUNYASHA, severely] You! Where's the cream? + +DUNYASHA. Oh, dear me ...! [Rapid exit.] + +FIERS. [Fussing round the coffee-pot] Oh, you bungler. ... [Murmurs +to himself] Back from Paris ... the master went to Paris once ... +in a carriage. ... [Laughs.] + +VARYA. What are you talking about, Fiers? + +FIERS. I beg your pardon? [Joyfully] The mistress is home again. +I've lived to see her! Don't care if I die now. ... [Weeps with +joy.] + +[Enter LUBOV ANDREYEVNA, GAEV, LOPAKHIN, and SIMEONOV-PISCHIN, the +latter in a long jacket of thin cloth and loose trousers. GAEV, +coming in, moves his arms and body about as if he is playing +billiards.] + +LUBOV. Let me remember now. Red into the corner! Twice into the +centre! + +GAEV. Right into the pocket! Once upon a time you and I used both +to sleep in this room, and now I'm fifty-one; it does seem strange. + +LOPAKHIN. Yes, time does go. + +GAEV. Who does? + +LOPAKHIN. I said that time does go. + +GAEV. It smells of patchouli here. + +ANYA. I'm going to bed. Good-night, mother. [Kisses her.] + +LUBOV. My lovely little one. [Kisses her hand] Glad to be at home? +I can't get over it. + +ANYA. Good-night, uncle. + +GAEV. [Kisses her face and hands] God be with you. How you do +resemble your mother! [To his sister] You were just like her at her +age, Luba. + +[ANYA gives her hand to LOPAKHIN and PISCHIN and goes out, shutting +the door behind her.] + +LUBOV. She's awfully tired. + +PISCHIN. It's a very long journey. + +VARYA. [To LOPAKHIN and PISCHIN] Well, sirs, it's getting on for +three, quite time you went. + +LUBOV. [Laughs] You're just the same as ever, Varya. [Draws her +close and kisses her] I'll have some coffee now, then we'll all go. +[FIERS lays a cushion under her feet] Thank you, dear. I'm used to +coffee. I drink it day and night. Thank you, dear old man. [Kisses +FIERS.] + +VARYA. I'll go and see if they've brought in all the luggage. +[Exit.] + +LUBOV. Is it really I who am sitting here? [Laughs] I want to jump +about and wave my arms. [Covers her face with her hands] But +suppose I'm dreaming! God knows I love my own country, I love it +deeply; I couldn't look out of the railway carriage, I cried so +much. [Through her tears] Still, I must have my coffee. Thank you, +Fiers. Thank you, dear old man. I'm so glad you're still with us. + +FIERS. The day before yesterday. + +GAEV. He doesn't hear well. + +LOPAKHIN. I've got to go off to Kharkov by the five o'clock train. +I'm awfully sorry! I should like to have a look at you, to gossip a +little. You're as fine-looking as ever. + +PISCHIN. [Breathes heavily] Even finer-looking ... dressed in +Paris fashions ... confound it all. + +LOPAKHIN. Your brother, Leonid Andreyevitch, says I'm a snob, a +usurer, but that is absolutely nothing to me. Let him talk. Only I +do wish you would believe in me as you once did, that your +wonderful, touching eyes would look at me as they did before. +Merciful God! My father was the serf of your grandfather and your +own father, but you--you more than anybody else--did so much for me +once upon a time that I've forgotten everything and love you as if +you belonged to my family ... and even more. + +LUBOV. I can't sit still, I'm not in a state to do it. [Jumps up +and walks about in great excitement] I'll never survive this +happiness. ... You can laugh at me; I'm a silly woman. ... My dear +little cupboard. [Kisses cupboard] My little table. + +GAEV. Nurse has died in your absence. + +LUBOV. [Sits and drinks coffee] Yes, bless her soul. I heard by +letter. + +GAEV. And Anastasius has died too. Peter Kosoy has left me and now +lives in town with the Commissioner of Police. [Takes a box of +sugar-candy out of his pocket and sucks a piece.] + +PISCHIN. My daughter, Dashenka, sends her love. + +LOPAKHIN. I want to say something very pleasant, very delightful, +to you. [Looks at his watch] I'm going away at once, I haven't much +time ... but I'll tell you all about it in two or three words. As +you already know, your cherry orchard is to be sold to pay your +debts, and the sale is fixed for August 22; but you needn't be +alarmed, dear madam, you may sleep in peace; there's a way out. +Here's my plan. Please attend carefully! Your estate is only +thirteen miles from the town, the railway runs by, and if the +cherry orchard and the land by the river are broken up into +building lots and are then leased off for villas you'll get at +least twenty-five thousand roubles a year profit out of it. + +GAEV. How utterly absurd! + +LUBOV. I don't understand you at all, Ermolai Alexeyevitch. + +LOPAKHIN. You will get twenty-five roubles a year for each +dessiatin from the leaseholders at the very least, and if you +advertise now I'm willing to bet that you won't have a vacant plot +left by the autumn; they'll all go. In a word, you're saved. I +congratulate you. Only, of course, you'll have to put things +straight, and clean up. ... For instance, you'll have to pull down +all the old buildings, this house, which isn't any use to anybody +now, and cut down the old cherry orchard. ... + +LUBOV. Cut it down? My dear man, you must excuse me, but you don't +understand anything at all. If there's anything interesting or +remarkable in the whole province, it's this cherry orchard of ours. + +LOPAKHIN. The only remarkable thing about the orchard is that it's +very large. It only bears fruit every other year, and even then you +don't know what to do with them; nobody buys any. + +GAEV. This orchard is mentioned in the "Encyclopaedic Dictionary." + +LOPAKHIN. [Looks at his watch] If we can't think of anything and +don't make up our minds to anything, then on August 22, both the +cherry orchard and the whole estate will be up for auction. Make up +your mind! I swear there's no other way out, I'll swear it again. + +FIERS. In the old days, forty or fifty years back, they dried the +cherries, soaked them and pickled them, and made jam of them, and +it used to happen that ... + +GAEV. Be quiet, Fiers. + +FIERS. And then we'd send the dried cherries off in carts to Moscow +and Kharkov. And money! And the dried cherries were soft, juicy, +sweet, and nicely scented. ... They knew the way. ... + +LUBOV. What was the way? + +FIERS. They've forgotten. Nobody remembers. + +PISCHIN. [To LUBOV ANDREYEVNA] What about Paris? Eh? Did you eat +frogs? + +LUBOV. I ate crocodiles. + +PISCHIN. To think of that, now. + +LOPAKHIN. Up to now in the villages there were only the gentry and +the labourers, and now the people who live in villas have arrived. +All towns now, even small ones, are surrounded by villas. And it's +safe to say that in twenty years' time the villa resident will be +all over the place. At present he sits on his balcony and drinks +tea, but it may well come to pass that he'll begin to cultivate his +patch of land, and then your cherry orchard will be happy, rich, +splendid. ... + +GAEV. [Angry] What rot! + +[Enter VARYA and YASHA.] + +VARYA. There are two telegrams for you, little mother. [Picks out a +key and noisily unlocks an antique cupboard] Here they are. + +LUBOV. They're from Paris. ... [Tears them up without reading them] +I've done with Paris. + +GAEV. And do you know, Luba, how old this case is? A week ago I +took out the bottom drawer; I looked and saw figures burnt out in +it. That case was made exactly a hundred years ago. What do you +think of that? What? We could celebrate its jubilee. It hasn't a +soul of its own, but still, say what you will, it's a fine +bookcase. + +PISCHIN. [Astonished] A hundred years. ... Think of that! + +GAEV. Yes ... it's a real thing. [Handling it] My dear and honoured +case! I congratulate you on your existence, which has already for +more than a hundred years been directed towards the bright ideals +of good and justice; your silent call to productive labour has not +grown less in the hundred years [Weeping] during which you have +upheld virtue and faith in a better future to the generations of +our race, educating us up to ideals of goodness and to the +knowledge of a common consciousness. [Pause.] + +LOPAKHIN. Yes. ... + +LUBOV. You're just the same as ever, Leon. + +GAEV. [A little confused] Off the white on the right, into the +corner pocket. Red ball goes into the middle pocket! + +LOPAKHIN. [Looks at his watch] It's time I went. + +YASHA. [Giving LUBOV ANDREYEVNA her medicine] Will you take your +pills now? + +PISCHIN. You oughtn't to take medicines, dear madam; they do you +neither harm nor good. ... Give them here, dear madam. [Takes the +pills, turns them out into the palm of his hand, blows on them, +puts them into his mouth, and drinks some kvass] There! + +LUBOV. [Frightened] You're off your head! + +PISCHIN. I've taken all the pills. + +LOPAKHIN. Gormandizer! [All laugh.] + +FIERS. They were here in Easter week and ate half a pailful of +cucumbers. ... [Mumbles.] + +LUBOV. What's he driving at? + +VARYA. He's been mumbling away for three years. We're used to that. + +YASHA. Senile decay. + +[CHARLOTTA IVANOVNA crosses the stage, dressed in white: she is +very thin and tightly laced; has a lorgnette at her waist.] + +LOPAKHIN. Excuse me, Charlotta Ivanovna, I haven't said "How do you +do" to you yet. [Tries to kiss her hand.] + +CHARLOTTA. [Takes her hand away] If you let people kiss your hand, +then they'll want your elbow, then your shoulder, and then ... + +LOPAKHIN. My luck's out to-day! [All laugh] Show us a trick, +Charlotta Ivanovna! + +LUBOV ANDREYEVNA. Charlotta, do us a trick. + +CHARLOTTA. It's not necessary. I want to go to bed. [Exit.] + +LOPAKHIN. We shall see each other in three weeks. [Kisses LUBOV +ANDREYEVNA'S hand] Now, good-bye. It's time to go. [To GAEV] See +you again. [Kisses PISCHIN] Au revoir. [Gives his hand to VARYA, +then to FIERS and to YASHA] I don't want to go away. [To LUBOV +ANDREYEVNA]. If you think about the villas and make up your mind, +then just let me know, and I'll raise a loan of 50,000 roubles at +once. Think about it seriously. + +VARYA. [Angrily] Do go, now! + +LOPAKHIN. I'm going, I'm going. ... [Exit.] + +GAEV. Snob. Still, I beg pardon. ... Varya's going to marry him, +he's Varya's young man. + +VARYA. Don't talk too much, uncle. + +LUBOV. Why not, Varya? I should be very glad. He's a good man. + +PISCHIN. To speak the honest truth ... he's a worthy man. ... And +my Dashenka ... also says that ... she says lots of things. +[Snores, but wakes up again at once] But still, dear madam, if you +could lend me ... 240 roubles ... to pay the interest on my +mortgage to-morrow ... + +VARYA. [Frightened] We haven't got it, we haven't got it! + +LUBOV. It's quite true. I've nothing at all. + +PISCHIN. I'll find it all right [Laughs] I never lose hope. I used +to think, "Everything's lost now. I'm a dead man," when, lo and +behold, a railway was built over my land ... and they paid me for +it. And something else will happen to-day or to-morrow. Dashenka +may win 20,000 roubles ... she's got a lottery ticket. + +LUBOV. The coffee's all gone, we can go to bed. + +FIERS. [Brushing GAEV'S trousers; in an insistent tone] You've put +on the wrong trousers again. What am I to do with you? + +VARYA. [Quietly] Anya's asleep. [Opens window quietly] The sun has +risen already; it isn't cold. Look, little mother: what lovely +trees! And the air! The starlings are singing! + +GAEV. [Opens the other window] The whole garden's white. You +haven't forgotten, Luba? There's that long avenue going straight, +straight, like a stretched strap; it shines on moonlight nights. Do +you remember? You haven't forgotten? + +LUBOV. [Looks out into the garden] Oh, my childhood, days of my +innocence! In this nursery I used to sleep; I used to look out from +here into the orchard. Happiness used to wake with me every +morning, and then it was just as it is now; nothing has changed. +[Laughs from joy] It's all, all white! Oh, my orchard! After the +dark autumns and the cold winters, you're young again, full of +happiness, the angels of heaven haven't left you. ... If only I +could take my heavy burden off my breast and shoulders, if I could +forget my past! + +GAEV. Yes, and they'll sell this orchard to pay off debts. How +strange it seems! + +LUBOV. Look, there's my dead mother going in the orchard ... +dressed in white! [Laughs from joy] That's she. + +GAEV. Where? + +VARYA. God bless you, little mother. + +LUBOV. There's nobody there; I thought I saw somebody. On the +right, at the turning by the summer-house, a white little tree bent +down, looking just like a woman. [Enter TROFIMOV in a worn student +uniform and spectacles] What a marvellous garden! White masses of +flowers, the blue sky. ... + +TROFIMOV. Lubov Andreyevna! [She looks round at him] I only want to +show myself, and I'll go away. [Kisses her hand warmly] I was told +to wait till the morning, but I didn't have the patience. + +[LUBOV ANDREYEVNA looks surprised.] + +VARYA. [Crying] It's Peter Trofimov. + +TROFIMOV. Peter Trofimov, once the tutor of your Grisha. ... Have I +changed so much? + +[LUBOV ANDREYEVNA embraces him and cries softly.] + +GAEV. [Confused] That's enough, that's enough, Luba. + +VARYA. [Weeps] But I told you, Peter, to wait till to-morrow. + +LUBOV. My Grisha ... my boy ... Grisha ... my son. + +VARYA. What are we to do, little mother? It's the will of God. + +TROFIMOV. [Softly, through his tears] It's all right, it's all +right. + +LUBOV. [Still weeping] My boy's dead; he was drowned. Why? Why, my +friend? [Softly] Anya's asleep in there. I am speaking so loudly, +making such a noise. ... Well, Peter? What's made you look so bad? +Why have you grown so old? + +TROFIMOV. In the train an old woman called me a decayed gentleman. + +LUBOV. You were quite a boy then, a nice little student, and now +your hair is not at all thick and you wear spectacles. Are you +really still a student? [Goes to the door.] + +TROFIMOV. I suppose I shall always be a student. + +LUBOV. [Kisses her brother, then VARYA] Well, let's go to bed. ... +And you've grown older, Leonid. + +PISCHIN. [Follows her] Yes, we've got to go to bed. ... Oh, my +gout! I'll stay the night here. If only, Lubov Andreyevna, my dear, +you could get me 240 roubles to-morrow morning-- + +GAEV. Still the same story. + +PISCHIN. Two hundred and forty roubles ... to pay the interest on +the mortgage. + +LUBOV. I haven't any money, dear man. + +PISCHIN. I'll give it back ... it's a small sum. ... + +LUBOV. Well, then, Leonid will give it to you. ... Let him have it, +Leonid. + +GAEV. By all means; hold out your hand. + +LUBOV. Why not? He wants it; he'll give it back. + +[LUBOV ANDREYEVNA, TROFIMOV, PISCHIN, and FIERS go out. GAEV, +VARYA, and YASHA remain.] + +GAEV. My sister hasn't lost the habit of throwing money about. [To +YASHA] Stand off, do; you smell of poultry. + +YASHA. [Grins] You are just the same as ever, Leonid Andreyevitch. + +GAEV. Really? [To VARYA] What's he saying? + +VARYA. [To YASHA] Your mother's come from the village; she's been +sitting in the servants' room since yesterday, and wants to see +you. ... + +YASHA. Bless the woman! + +VARYA. Shameless man. + +YASHA. A lot of use there is in her coming. She might have come +tomorrow just as well. [Exit.] + +VARYA. Mother hasn't altered a scrap, she's just as she always was. +She'd give away everything, if the idea only entered her head. + +GAEV. Yes. ... [Pause] If there's any illness for which people +offer many remedies, you may be sure that particular illness is +incurable, I think. I work my brains to their hardest. I've several +remedies, very many, and that really means I've none at all. It +would be nice to inherit a fortune from somebody, it would be nice +to marry our Anya to a rich man, it would be nice to go to Yaroslav +and try my luck with my aunt the Countess. My aunt is very, very +rich. + +VARYA. [Weeps] If only God helped us. + +GAEV. Don't cry. My aunt's very rich, but she doesn't like us. My +sister, in the first place, married an advocate, not a noble. ... +[ANYA appears in the doorway] She not only married a man who was +not a noble, but she behaved herself in a way which cannot be +described as proper. She's nice and kind and charming, and I'm very +fond of her, but say what you will in her favour and you still have +to admit that she's wicked; you can feel it in her slightest +movements. + +VARYA. [Whispers] Anya's in the doorway. + +GAEV. Really? [Pause] It's curious, something's got into my right +eye ... I can't see properly out of it. And on Thursday, when I was +at the District Court ... + +[Enter ANYA.] + +VARYA. Why aren't you in bed, Anya? + +ANYA. Can't sleep. It's no good. + +GAEV. My darling! [Kisses ANYA'S face and hands] My child. ... +[Crying] You're not my niece, you're my angel, you're my all. ... +Believe in me, believe ... + +ANYA. I do believe in you, uncle. Everybody loves you and respects +you ... but, uncle dear, you ought to say nothing, no more than +that. What were you saying just now about my mother, your own +sister? Why did you say those things? + +GAEV. Yes, yes. [Covers his face with her hand] Yes, really, it was +awful. Save me, my God! And only just now I made a speech before a +bookcase ... it's so silly! And only when I'd finished I knew how +silly it was. + +VARYA. Yes, uncle dear, you really ought to say less. Keep quiet, +that's all. + +ANYA. You'd be so much happier in yourself if you only kept quiet. + +GAEV. All right, I'll be quiet. [Kisses their hands] I'll be quiet. +But let's talk business. On Thursday I was in the District Court, +and a lot of us met there together, and we began to talk of this, +that, and the other, and now I think I can arrange a loan to pay +the interest into the bank. + +VARYA. If only God would help us! + +GAEV. I'll go on Tuesday. I'll talk with them about it again. [To +VARYA] Don't howl. [To ANYA] Your mother will have a talk to +Lopakhin; he, of course, won't refuse ... And when you've rested +you'll go to Yaroslav to the Countess, your grandmother. So you +see, we'll have three irons in the fire, and we'll be safe. We'll +pay up the interest. I'm certain. [Puts some sugar-candy into his +mouth] I swear on my honour, on anything you will, that the estate +will not be sold! [Excitedly] I swear on my happiness! Here's my +hand. You may call me a dishonourable wretch if I let it go to +auction! I swear by all I am! + +ANYA. [She is calm again and happy] How good and clever you are, +uncle. [Embraces him] I'm happy now! I'm happy! All's well! + +[Enter FIERS.] + +FIERS. [Reproachfully] Leonid Andreyevitch, don't you fear God? +When are you going to bed? + +GAEV. Soon, soon. You go away, Fiers. I'll undress myself. Well, +children, bye-bye ...! I'll give you the details to-morrow, but +let's go to bed now. [Kisses ANYA and VARYA] I'm a man of the +eighties. ... People don't praise those years much, but I can still +say that I've suffered for my beliefs. The peasants don't love me +for nothing, I assure you. We've got to learn to know the peasants! +We ought to learn how. ... + +ANYA. You're doing it again, uncle! + +VARYA. Be quiet, uncle! + +FIERS. [Angrily] Leonid Andreyevitch! + +GAEV. I'm coming, I'm coming. ... Go to bed now. Off two cushions +into the middle! I turn over a new leaf. ... [Exit. FIERS goes out +after him.] + +ANYA. I'm quieter now. I don't want to go to Yaroslav, I don't like +grandmother; but I'm calm now; thanks to uncle. [Sits down.] + +VARYA. It's time to go to sleep. I'll go. There's been an +unpleasantness here while you were away. In the old servants' part +of the house, as you know, only the old people live--little old +Efim and Polya and Evstigney, and Karp as well. They started +letting some tramps or other spend the night there--I said nothing. +Then I heard that they were saying that I had ordered them to be +fed on peas and nothing else; from meanness, you see. ... And it +was all Evstigney's doing. ... Very well, I thought, if that's what +the matter is, just you wait. So I call Evstigney. ... [Yawns] He +comes. "What's this," I say, "Evstigney, you old fool." ... [Looks +at ANYA] Anya dear! [Pause] She's dropped off. ... [Takes ANYA'S +arm] Let's go to bye-bye. ... Come along! ... [Leads her] My +darling's gone to sleep! Come on. ... [They go. In the distance, +the other side of the orchard, a shepherd plays his pipe. TROFIMOV +crosses the stage and stops on seeing VARYA and ANYA] Sh! She's +asleep, asleep. Come on, dear. + +ANYA. [Quietly, half-asleep] I'm so tired ... all the bells ... +uncle, dear! Mother and uncle! + +VARYA. Come on, dear, come on! [They go into ANYA'S room.] + +TROFIMOV. [Moved] My sun! My spring! + +Curtain. + + +ACT TWO + + +[In a field. An old, crooked shrine, which has been long abandoned; +near it a well and large stones, which apparently are old +tombstones, and an old garden seat. The road is seen to GAEV'S +estate. On one side rise dark poplars, behind them begins the +cherry orchard. In the distance is a row of telegraph poles, and +far, far away on the horizon are the indistinct signs of a large +town, which can only be seen on the finest and clearest days. It is +close on sunset. CHARLOTTA, YASHA, and DUNYASHA are sitting on the +seat; EPIKHODOV stands by and plays on a guitar; all seem +thoughtful. CHARLOTTA wears a man's old peaked cap; she has unslung +a rifle from her shoulders and is putting to rights the buckle on +the strap.] + +CHARLOTTA. [Thoughtfully] I haven't a real passport. I don't know +how old I am, and I think I'm young. When I was a little girl my +father and mother used to go round fairs and give very good +performances and I used to do the _salto mortale_ and various +little things. And when papa and mamma died a German lady took me +to her and began to teach me. I liked it. I grew up and became a +governess. And where I came from and who I am, I don't know. ... +Who my parents were--perhaps they weren't married--I don't know. +[Takes a cucumber out of her pocket and eats] I don't know +anything. [Pause] I do want to talk, but I haven't anybody to talk +to ... I haven't anybody at all. + +EPIKHODOV. [Plays on the guitar and sings] + "What is this noisy earth to me, + What matter friends and foes?" + I do like playing on the mandoline! + +DUNYASHA. That's a guitar, not a mandoline. +[Looks at herself in a little mirror and powders herself.] + +EPIKHODOV. For the enamoured madman, this is a mandoline. [Sings] + "Oh that the heart was warmed, + By all the flames of love returned!" + +[YASHA sings too.] + +CHARLOTTA. These people sing terribly. ... Foo! Like jackals. + +DUNYASHA. [To YASHA] Still, it must be nice to live abroad. + +YASHA. Yes, certainly. I cannot differ from you there. [Yawns and +lights a cigar.] + +EPIKHODOV. That is perfectly natural. Abroad everything is in full +complexity. + +YASHA. That goes without saying. + +EPIKHODOV. I'm an educated man, I read various remarkable books, +but I cannot understand the direction I myself want to go--whether +to live or to shoot myself, as it were. So, in case, I always carry +a revolver about with me. Here it is. [Shows a revolver.] + +CHARLOTTA. I've done. Now I'll go. [Slings the rifle] You, +Epikhodov, are a very clever man and very terrible; women must be +madly in love with you. Brrr! [Going] These wise ones are all so +stupid. I've nobody to talk to. I'm always alone, alone; I've +nobody at all ... and I don't know who I am or why I live. [Exit +slowly.] + +EPIKHODOV. As a matter of fact, independently of everything else, I +must express my feeling, among other things, that fate has been as +pitiless in her dealings with me as a storm is to a small ship. +Suppose, let us grant, I am wrong; then why did I wake up this +morning, to give an example, and behold an enormous spider on my +chest, like that. [Shows with both hands] And if I do drink some +kvass, why is it that there is bound to be something of the most +indelicate nature in it, such as a beetle? [Pause] Have you read +Buckle? [Pause] I should like to trouble you, Avdotya Fedorovna, +for two words. + +DUNYASHA. Say on. + +EPIKHODOV. I should prefer to be alone with you. [Sighs.] + +DUNYASHA. [Shy] Very well, only first bring me my little cloak. ... +It's by the cupboard. It's a little damp here. + +EPIKHODOV. Very well ... I'll bring it. ... Now I know what to do +with my revolver. [Takes guitar and exits, strumming.] + +YASHA. Two-and-twenty troubles! A silly man, between you and me and +the gatepost. [Yawns.] + +DUNYASHA. I hope to goodness he won't shoot himself. [Pause] I'm so +nervous, I'm worried. I went into service when I was quite a little +girl, and now I'm not used to common life, and my hands are white, +white as a lady's. I'm so tender and so delicate now; respectable +and afraid of everything. ... I'm so frightened. And I don't know +what will happen to my nerves if you deceive me, Yasha. + +YASHA. [Kisses her] Little cucumber! Of course, every girl must +respect herself; there's nothing I dislike more than a badly +behaved girl. + +DUNYASHA. I'm awfully in love with you; you're educated, you can +talk about everything. [Pause.] + +YASHA. [Yawns] Yes. I think this: if a girl loves anybody, then +that means she's immoral. [Pause] It's nice to smoke a cigar out in +the open air. ... [Listens] Somebody's coming. It's the mistress, +and people with her. [DUNYASHA embraces him suddenly] Go to the +house, as if you'd been bathing in the river; go by this path, or +they'll meet you and will think I've been meeting you. I can't +stand that sort of thing. + +DUNYASHA. [Coughs quietly] My head's aching because of your cigar. + +[Exit. YASHA remains, sitting by the shrine. Enter LUBOV +ANDREYEVNA, GAEV, and LOPAKHIN.] + +LOPAKHIN. You must make up your mind definitely--there's no time to +waste. The question is perfectly plain. Are you willing to let the +land for villas or no? Just one word, yes or no? Just one word! + +LUBOV. Who's smoking horrible cigars here? [Sits.] + +GAEV. They built that railway; that's made this place very handy. +[Sits] Went to town and had lunch ... red in the middle! I'd like +to go in now and have just one game. + +LUBOV. You'll have time. + +LOPAKHIN. Just one word! [Imploringly] Give me an answer! + +GAEV. [Yawns] Really! + +LUBOV. [Looks in her purse] I had a lot of money yesterday, but +there's very little to-day. My poor Varya feeds everybody on milk +soup to save money, in the kitchen the old people only get peas, +and I spend recklessly. [Drops the purse, scattering gold coins] +There, they are all over the place. + +YASHA. Permit me to pick them up. [Collects the coins.] + +LUBOV. Please do, Yasha. And why did I go and have lunch there? ... +A horrid restaurant with band and tablecloths smelling of soap. ... +Why do you drink so much, Leon? Why do you eat so much? Why do you +talk so much? You talked again too much to-day in the restaurant, +and it wasn't at all to the point--about the seventies and about +decadents. And to whom? Talking to the waiters about decadents! + +LOPAKHIN. Yes. + +GAEV. [Waves his hand] I can't be cured, that's obvious. ... +[Irritably to YASHA] What's the matter? Why do you keep twisting +about in front of me? + +YASHA. [Laughs] I can't listen to your voice without laughing. + +GAEV. [To his sister] Either he or I ... + +LUBOV. Go away, Yasha; get out of this. ... + +YASHA. [Gives purse to LUBOV ANDREYEVNA] I'll go at once. [Hardly +able to keep from laughing] This minute. ... [Exit.] + +LOPAKHIN. That rich man Deriganov is preparing to buy your estate. +They say he'll come to the sale himself. + +LUBOV. Where did you hear that? + +LOPAKHIN. They say so in town. + +GAEV. Our Yaroslav aunt has promised to send something, but I don't +know when or how much. + +LOPAKHIN. How much will she send? A hundred thousand roubles? Or +two, perhaps? + +LUBOV. I'd be glad of ten or fifteen thousand. + +LOPAKHIN. You must excuse my saying so, but I've never met such +frivolous people as you before, or anybody so unbusinesslike and +peculiar. Here I am telling you in plain language that your estate +will be sold, and you don't seem to understand. + +LUBOV. What are we to do? Tell us, what? + +LOPAKHIN. I tell you every day. I say the same thing every day. +Both the cherry orchard and the land must be leased off for villas +and at once, immediately--the auction is staring you in the face: +Understand! Once you do definitely make up your minds to the +villas, then you'll have as much money as you want and you'll be +saved. + +LUBOV. Villas and villa residents--it's so vulgar, excuse me. + +GAEV. I entirely agree with you. + +LOPAKHIN. I must cry or yell or faint. I can't stand it! You're too +much for me! [To GAEV] You old woman! + +GAEV. Really! + +LOPAKHIN. Old woman! [Going out.] + +LUBOV. [Frightened] No, don't go away, do stop; be a dear. Please. +Perhaps we'll find some way out! + +LOPAKHIN. What's the good of trying to think! + +LUBOV. Please don't go away. It's nicer when you're here. ... +[Pause] I keep on waiting for something to happen, as if the house +is going to collapse over our heads. + +GAEV. [Thinking deeply] Double in the corner ... across the middle. ... + +LUBOV. We have been too sinful. ... + +LOPAKHIN. What sins have you committed? + +GAEV. [Puts candy into his mouth] They say that I've eaten all my +substance in sugar-candies. [Laughs.] + +LUBOV. Oh, my sins. ... I've always scattered money about without +holding myself in, like a madwoman, and I married a man who made +nothing but debts. My husband died of champagne--he drank terribly-- +and to my misfortune, I fell in love with another man and went off +with him, and just at that time--it was my first punishment, a blow +that hit me right on the head--here, in the river ... my boy was +drowned, and I went away, quite away, never to return, never to see +this river again ...I shut my eyes and ran without thinking, but +_he_ ran after me ... without pity, without respect. I bought a +villa near Mentone because _he_ fell ill there, and for three years +I knew no rest either by day or night; the sick man wore me out, +and my soul dried up. And last year, when they had sold the villa +to pay my debts, I went away to Paris, and there he robbed me of +all I had and threw me over and went off with another woman. I +tried to poison myself. ... It was so silly, so shameful. ... And +suddenly I longed to be back in Russia, my own land, with my little +girl. ... [Wipes her tears] Lord, Lord be merciful to me, forgive +me my sins! Punish me no more! [Takes a telegram out of her pocket] +I had this to-day from Paris. ... He begs my forgiveness, he +implores me to return. ... [Tears it up] Don't I hear music? +[Listens.] + +GAEV. That is our celebrated Jewish band. You remember--four +violins, a flute, and a double-bass. + +LUBOV So it still exists? It would be nice if they came along some +evening. + +LOPAKHIN. [Listens] I can't hear. ... [Sings quietly] "For money +will the Germans make a Frenchman of a Russian." [Laughs] I saw +such an awfully funny thing at the theatre last night. + +LUBOV. I'm quite sure there wasn't anything at all funny. You +oughtn't to go and see plays, you ought to go and look at yourself. +What a grey life you lead, what a lot you talk unnecessarily. + +LOPAKHIN. It's true. To speak the straight truth, we live a silly +life. [Pause] My father was a peasant, an idiot, he understood +nothing, he didn't teach me, he was always drunk, and always used a +stick on me. In point of fact, I'm a fool and an idiot too. I've +never learned anything, my handwriting is bad, I write so that I'm +quite ashamed before people, like a pig! + +LUBOV. You ought to get married, my friend. + +LOPAKHIN. Yes ... that's true. + +LUBOV. Why not to our Varya? She's a nice girl. + +LOPAKHIN. Yes. + +LUBOV. She's quite homely in her ways, works all day, and, what +matters most, she's in love with you. And you've liked her for a +long time. + +LOPAKHIN. Well? I don't mind ... she's a nice girl. [Pause.] + +GAEV. I'm offered a place in a bank. Six thousand roubles a year. ... +Did you hear? + +LUBOV. What's the matter with you! Stay where you are. ... + +[Enter FIERS with an overcoat.] + +FIERS. [To GAEV] Please, sir, put this on, it's damp. + +GAEV. [Putting it on] You're a nuisance, old man. + +FIERS It's all very well. ... You went away this morning without +telling me. [Examining GAEV.] + +LUBOV. How old you've grown, Fiers! + +FIERS. I beg your pardon? + +LOPAKHIN. She says you've grown very old! + +FIERS. I've been alive a long time. They were already getting ready +to marry me before your father was born. ... [Laughs] And when the +Emancipation came I was already first valet. Only I didn't agree +with the Emancipation and remained with my people. ... [Pause] I +remember everybody was happy, but they didn't know why. + +LOPAKHIN. It was very good for them in the old days. At any rate, +they used to beat them. + +FIERS. [Not hearing] Rather. The peasants kept their distance from +the masters and the masters kept their distance from the peasants, +but now everything's all anyhow and you can't understand anything. + +GAEV. Be quiet, Fiers. I've got to go to town tomorrow. I've been +promised an introduction to a General who may lend me money on a +bill. + +LOPAKHIN. Nothing will come of it. And you won't pay your interest, +don't you worry. + +LUBOV. He's talking rubbish. There's no General at all. + +[Enter TROFIMOV, ANYA, and VARYA.] + +GAEV. Here they are. + +ANYA. Mother's sitting down here. + +LUBOV. [Tenderly] Come, come, my dears. ... [Embracing ANYA and +VARYA] If you two only knew how much I love you. Sit down next to +me, like that. [All sit down.] + +LOPAKHIN. Our eternal student is always with the ladies. + +TROFIMOV. That's not your business. + +LOPAKHIN. He'll soon be fifty, and he's still a student. + +TROFIMOV. Leave off your silly jokes! + +LOPAKHIN. Getting angry, eh, silly? + +TROFIMOV. Shut up, can't you. + +LOPAKHIN. [Laughs] I wonder what you think of me? + +TROFIMOV. I think, Ermolai Alexeyevitch, that you're a rich man, +and you'll soon be a millionaire. Just as the wild beast which eats +everything it finds is needed for changes to take place in matter, +so you are needed too. + +[All laugh.] + +VARYA. Better tell us something about the planets, Peter. + +LUBOV ANDREYEVNA. No, let's go on with yesterday's talk! + +TROFIMOV. About what? + +GAEV. About the proud man. + +TROFIMOV. Yesterday we talked for a long time but we didn't come to +anything in the end. There's something mystical about the proud +man, in your sense. Perhaps you are right from your point of view, +but if you take the matter simply, without complicating it, then +what pride can there be, what sense can there be in it, if a man is +imperfectly made, physiologically speaking, if in the vast majority +of cases he is coarse and stupid and deeply unhappy? We must stop +admiring one another. We must work, nothing more. + +GAEV. You'll die, all the same. + +TROFIMOV. Who knows? And what does it mean--you'll die? Perhaps a +man has a hundred senses, and when he dies only the five known to +us are destroyed and the remaining ninety-five are left alive. + +LUBOV. How clever of you, Peter! + +LOPAKHIN. [Ironically] Oh, awfully! + +TROFIMOV. The human race progresses, perfecting its powers. +Everything that is unattainable now will some day be near at hand +and comprehensible, but we must work, we must help with all our +strength those who seek to know what fate will bring. Meanwhile in +Russia only a very few of us work. The vast majority of those +intellectuals whom I know seek for nothing, do nothing, and are at +present incapable of hard work. They call themselves intellectuals, +but they use "thou" and "thee" to their servants, they treat the +peasants like animals, they learn badly, they read nothing +seriously, they do absolutely nothing, about science they only +talk, about art they understand little. They are all serious, they +all have severe faces, they all talk about important things. They +philosophize, and at the same time, the vast majority of us, +ninety-nine out of a hundred, live like savages, fighting and +cursing at the slightest opportunity, eating filthily, sleeping in +the dirt, in stuffiness, with fleas, stinks, smells, moral filth, +and so on. . . And it's obvious that all our nice talk is only +carried on to distract ourselves and others. Tell me, where are +those crches we hear so much of? and where are those reading-rooms? +People only write novels about them; they don't really exist. Only +dirt, vulgarity, and Asiatic plagues really exist. ... I'm afraid, +and I don't at all like serious faces; I don't like serious +conversations. Let's be quiet sooner. + +LOPAKHIN. You know, I get up at five every morning, I work from +morning till evening, I am always dealing with money--my own and +other people's--and I see what people are like. You've only got to +begin to do anything to find out how few honest, honourable people +there are. Sometimes, when I can't sleep, I think: "Oh Lord, you've +given us huge forests, infinite fields, and endless horizons, and +we, living here, ought really to be giants." + +LUBOV. You want giants, do you? ... They're only good in stories, +and even there they frighten one. [EPIKHODOV enters at the back of +the stage playing his guitar. Thoughtfully:] Epikhodov's there. + +ANYA. [Thoughtfully] Epikhodov's there. + +GAEV. The sun's set, ladies and gentlemen. + +TROFIMOV. Yes. + +GAEV [Not loudly, as if declaiming] O Nature, thou art wonderful, +thou shinest with eternal radiance! Oh, beautiful and indifferent +one, thou whom we call mother, thou containest in thyself existence +and death, thou livest and destroyest. ... + +VARYA. [Entreatingly] Uncle, dear! + +ANYA. Uncle, you're doing it again! + +TROFIMOV. You'd better double the red into the middle. + +GAEV. I'll be quiet, I'll be quiet. + +[They all sit thoughtfully. It is quiet. Only the mumbling of FIERS +is heard. Suddenly a distant sound is heard as if from the sky, the +sound of a breaking string, which dies away sadly.] + +LUBOV. What's that? + +LOPAKHIN. I don't know. It may be a bucket fallen down a well +somewhere. But it's some way off. + +GAEV. Or perhaps it's some bird ... like a heron. + +TROFIMOV. Or an owl. + +LUBOV. [Shudders] It's unpleasant, somehow. [A pause.] + +FIERS. Before the misfortune the same thing happened. An owl +screamed and the samovar hummed without stopping. + +GAEV. Before what misfortune? + +FIERS. Before the Emancipation. [A pause.] + +LUBOV. You know, my friends, let's go in; it's evening now. [To +ANYA] You've tears in your eyes. ... What is it, little girl? +[Embraces her.] + +ANYA. It's nothing, mother. + +TROFIMOV. Some one's coming. + +[Enter a TRAMP in an old white peaked cap and overcoat. He is a +little drunk.] + +TRAMP. Excuse me, may I go this way straight through to the +station? + +GAEV. You may. Go along this path. + +TRAMP. I thank you from the bottom of my heart. [Hiccups] Lovely +weather. ... [Declaims] My brother, my suffering brother. ... Come +out on the Volga, you whose groans ... [To VARYA] Mademoiselle, +please give a hungry Russian thirty copecks. ... + +[VARYA screams, frightened.] + +LOPAKHIN. [Angrily] There's manners everybody's got to keep! + +LUBOV. [With a start] Take this ... here you are. ... [Feels in her +purse] There's no silver. ... It doesn't matter, here's gold. + +TRAMP. I am deeply grateful to you! [Exit. Laughter.] + +VARYA. [Frightened] I'm going, I'm going. ... Oh, little mother, at +home there's nothing for the servants to eat, and you gave him +gold. + +LUBOV. What is to be done with such a fool as I am! At home I'll +give you everything I've got. Ermolai Alexeyevitch, lend me some +more! ... + +LOPAKHIN. Very well. + +LUBOV. Let's go, it's time. And Varya, we've settled your affair; I +congratulate you. + +VARYA. [Crying] You shouldn't joke about this, mother. + +LOPAKHIN. Oh, feel me, get thee to a nunnery. + +GAEV. My hands are all trembling; I haven't played billiards for a +long time. + +LOPAKHIN. Oh, feel me, nymph, remember me in thine orisons. + +LUBOV. Come along; it'll soon be supper-time. + +VARYA. He did frighten me. My heart is beating hard. + +LOPAKHIN. Let me remind you, ladies and gentlemen, on August 22 the +cherry orchard will be sold. Think of that! ... Think of that! ... + +[All go out except TROFIMOV and ANYA.] + +ANYA. [Laughs] Thanks to the tramp who frightened Barbara, we're +alone now. + +TROFIMOV. Varya's afraid we may fall in love with each other and +won't get away from us for days on end. Her narrow mind won't allow +her to understand that we are above love. To escape all the petty +and deceptive things which prevent our being happy and free, that +is the aim and meaning of our lives. Forward! We go irresistibly on +to that bright star which burns there, in the distance! Don't lag +behind, friends! + +ANYA. [Clapping her hands] How beautifully you talk! [Pause] It is +glorious here to-day! + +TROFIMOV. Yes, the weather is wonderful. + +ANYA. What have you done to me, Peter? I don't love the cherry +orchard as I used to. I loved it so tenderly, I thought there was +no better place in the world than our orchard. + +TROFIMOV. All Russia is our orchard. The land is great and +beautiful, there are many marvellous places in it. [Pause] Think, +Anya, your grandfather, your great-grandfather, and all your +ancestors were serf-owners, they owned living souls; and now, +doesn't something human look at you from every cherry in the +orchard, every leaf and every stalk? Don't you hear voices ...? Oh, +it's awful, your orchard is terrible; and when in the evening or at +night you walk through the orchard, then the old bark on the trees +sheds a dim light and the old cherry-trees seem to be dreaming of +all that was a hundred, two hundred years ago, and are oppressed by +their heavy visions. Still, at any rate, we've left those two +hundred years behind us. So far we've gained nothing at all--we +don't yet know what the past is to be to us--we only philosophize, +we complain that we are dull, or we drink vodka. For it's so clear +that in order to begin to live in the present we must first redeem +the past, and that can only be done by suffering, by strenuous, +uninterrupted labour. Understand that, Anya. + +ANYA. The house in which we live has long ceased to be our house; I +shall go away. I give you my word. + +TROFIMOV. If you have the housekeeping keys, throw them down the well +and go away. Be as free as the wind. + +ANYA. [Enthusiastically] How nicely you said that! + +TROFIMOV. Believe me, Anya, believe me! I'm not thirty yet, I'm +young, I'm still a student, but I have undergone a great deal! I'm +as hungry as the winter, I'm ill, I'm shaken. I'm as poor as a +beggar, and where haven't I been--fate has tossed me everywhere! +But my soul is always my own; every minute of the day and the night +it is filled with unspeakable presentiments. I know that happiness +is coming, Anya, I see it already. ... + +ANYA. [Thoughtful] The moon is rising. + +[EPIKHODOV is heard playing the same sad song on his guitar. The +moon rises. Somewhere by the poplars VARYA is looking for ANYA and +calling, "Anya, where are you?"] + +TROFIMOV. Yes, the moon has risen. [Pause] There is happiness, +there it comes; it comes nearer and nearer; I hear its steps +already. And if we do not see it we shall not know it, but what +does that matter? Others will see it! + +THE VOICE OF VARYA. Anya! Where are you? + +TROFIMOV. That's Varya again! [Angry] Disgraceful! + +ANYA. Never mind. Let's go to the river. It's nice there. + +TROFIMOV Let's go. [They go out.] + +THE VOICE OF VARYA. Anya! Anya! + +Curtain. + + +ACT THREE + + +[A reception-room cut off from a drawing-room by an arch. +Chandelier lighted. A Jewish band, the one mentioned in Act II, is +heard playing in another room. Evening. In the drawing-room the +grand rond is being danced. Voice of SIMEONOV PISCHIN "Promenade a +une paire!" Dancers come into the reception-room; the first pair +are PISCHIN and CHARLOTTA IVANOVNA; the second, TROFIMOV and LUBOV +ANDREYEVNA; the third, ANYA and the POST OFFICE CLERK; the fourth, +VARYA and the STATION-MASTER, and so on. VARYA is crying gently and +wipes away her tears as she dances. DUNYASHA is in the last pair. +They go off into the drawing-room, PISCHIN shouting, "Grand rond, +balancez:" and "Les cavaliers genou et remerciez vos dames!" +FIERS, in a dress-coat, carries a tray with seltzer-water across. +Enter PISCHIN and TROFIMOV from the drawing-room.] + +PISCHIN. I'm full-blooded and have already had two strokes; it's +hard for me to dance, but, as they say, if you're in Rome, you must +do as Rome does. I've got the strength of a horse. My dead father, +who liked a joke, peace to his bones, used to say, talking of our +ancestors, that the ancient stock of the Simeonov-Pischins was +descended from that identical horse that Caligula made a senator. ... +[Sits] But the trouble is, I've no money! A hungry dog only +believes in meat. [Snores and wakes up again immediately] So I ... +only believe in money. ... + +TROFIMOV. Yes. There is something equine about your figure. + +PISCHIN. Well ... a horse is a fine animal ... you can sell a +horse. + +[Billiard playing can be heard in the next room. VARYA appears +under the arch.] + +TROFIMOV. [Teasing] Madame Lopakhin! Madame Lopakhin! + +VARYA. [Angry] Decayed gentleman! + +TROFIMOV. Yes, I am a decayed gentleman, and I'm proud of it! + +VARYA. [Bitterly] We've hired the musicians, but how are they to be +paid? [Exit.] + +TROFIMOV. [To PISCHIN] If the energy which you, in the course of +your life, have spent in looking for money to pay interest had been +used for something else, then, I believe, after all, you'd be able +to turn everything upside down. + +PISCHIN. Nietzsche ... a philosopher ... a very great, a most +celebrated man ... a man of enormous brain, says in his books that +you can forge bank-notes. + +TROFIMOV. And have you read Nietzsche? + +PISCHIN. Well ... Dashenka told me. Now I'm in such a position, I +wouldn't mind forging them ... I've got to pay 310 roubles the day +after to-morrow ... I've got 130 already. ... [Feels his pockets, +nervously] I've lost the money! The money's gone! [Crying] Where's +the money? [Joyfully] Here it is behind the lining ... I even began +to perspire. + +[Enter LUBOV ANDREYEVNA and CHARLOTTA IVANOVNA.] + +LUBOV. [Humming a Caucasian dance] Why is Leonid away so long? +What's he doing in town? [To DUNYASHA] Dunyasha, give the musicians +some tea. + +TROFIMOV. Business is off, I suppose. + +LUBOV. And the musicians needn't have come, and we needn't have got +up this ball. ... Well, never mind. ... [Sits and sings softly.] + +CHARLOTTA. [Gives a pack of cards to PISCHIN] Here's a pack of +cards, think of any one card you like. + +PISCHIN. I've thought of one. + +CHARLOTTA. Now shuffle. All right, now. Give them here, oh my dear +Mr. Pischin. _Ein, zwei, drei_! Now look and you'll find it in your +coat-tail pocket. + +PISCHIN. [Takes a card out of his coat-tail pocket] Eight of +spades, quite right! [Surprised] Think of that now! + +CHARLOTTA. [Holds the pack of cards on the palm of her hand. To +TROFIMOV] Now tell me quickly. What's the top card? + +TROFIMOV. Well, the queen of spades. + +CHARLOTTA. Right! [To PISCHIN] Well now? What card's on top? + +PISCHIN. Ace of hearts. + +CHARLOTTA. Right! [Claps her hands, the pack of cards vanishes] How +lovely the weather is to-day. [A mysterious woman's voice answers +her, as if from under the floor, "Oh yes, it's lovely weather, +madam."] You are so beautiful, you are my ideal. [Voice, "You, +madam, please me very much too."] + +STATION-MASTER. [Applauds] Madame ventriloquist, bravo! + +PISCHIN. [Surprised] Think of that, now! Delightful, Charlotte +Ivanovna ... I'm simply in love. ... + +CHARLOTTA. In love? [Shrugging her shoulders] Can you love? _Guter +Mensch aber schlechter Musikant_. + +TROFIMOV. [Slaps PISCHIN on the shoulder] Oh, you horse! + +CHARLOTTA. Attention please, here's another trick. [Takes a shawl +from a chair] Here's a very nice plaid shawl, I'm going to sell it. ... +[Shakes it] Won't anybody buy it? + +PISCHIN. [Astonished] Think of that now! + +CHARLOTTA. _Ein, zwei, drei_. + +[She quickly lifts up the shawl, which is hanging down. ANYA is +standing behind it; she bows and runs to her mother, hugs her and +runs back to the drawing-room amid general applause.] + +LUBOV. [Applauds] Bravo, bravo! + +CHARLOTTA. Once again! _Ein, zwei, drei_! + +[Lifts the shawl. VARYA stands behind it and bows.] + +PISCHIN. [Astonished] Think of that, now. + +CHARLOTTA. The end! + +[Throws the shawl at PISCHIN, curtseys and runs into the drawing-room.] + +PISCHIN. [Runs after her] Little wretch. ... What? Would you? [Exit.] + +LUBOV. Leonid hasn't come yet. I don't understand what he's doing +so long in town! Everything must be over by now. The estate must be +sold; or, if the sale never came off, then why does he stay so +long? + +VARYA. [Tries to soothe her] Uncle has bought it. I'm certain of +it. + +TROFIMOV. [Sarcastically] Oh, yes! + +VARYA. Grandmother sent him her authority for him to buy it in her +name and transfer the debt to her. She's doing it for Anya. And I'm +certain that God will help us and uncle will buy it. + +LUBOV. Grandmother sent fifteen thousand roubles from Yaroslav to +buy the property in her name--she won't trust us--and that wasn't +even enough to pay the interest. [Covers her face with her hands] +My fate will be settled to-day, my fate. ... + +TROFIMOV. [Teasing VARYA] Madame Lopakhin! + +VARYA. [Angry] Eternal student! He's already been expelled twice +from the university. + +LUBOV. Why are you getting angry, Varya? He's teasing you about +Lopakhin, well what of it? You can marry Lopakhin if you want to, +he's a good, interesting man. ... You needn't if you don't want +to; nobody wants to force you against your will, my darling. + +VARYA. I do look at the matter seriously, little mother, to be +quite frank. He's a good man, and I like him. + +LUBOV. Then marry him. I don't understand what you're waiting for. + +VARYA. I can't propose to him myself, little mother. People have +been talking about him to me for two years now, but he either says +nothing, or jokes about it. I understand. He's getting rich, he's +busy, he can't bother about me. If I had some money, even a little, +even only a hundred roubles, I'd throw up everything and go away. +I'd go into a convent. + +TROFIMOV. How nice! + +VARYA. [To TROFIMOV] A student ought to have sense! [Gently, in +tears] How ugly you are now, Peter, how old you've grown! [To LUBOV +ANDREYEVNA, no longer crying] But I can't go on without working, +little mother. I want to be doing something every minute. + +[Enter YASHA.] + +YASHA. [Nearly laughing] Epikhodov's broken a billiard cue! [Exit.] + +VARYA. Why is Epikhodov here? Who said he could play billiards? I +don't understand these people. [Exit.] + +LUBOV. Don't tease her, Peter, you see that she's quite unhappy +without that. + +TROFIMOV. She takes too much on herself, she keeps on interfering +in other people's business. The whole summer she's given no peace +to me or to Anya, she's afraid we'll have a romance all to +ourselves. What has it to do with her? As if I'd ever given her +grounds to believe I'd stoop to such vulgarity! We are above love. + +LUBOV. Then I suppose I must be beneath love. [In agitation] Why +isn't Leonid here? If I only knew whether the estate is sold or +not! The disaster seems to me so improbable that I don't know what +to think, I'm all at sea ... I may scream ... or do something +silly. Save me, Peter. Say something, say something. + +TROFIMOV. Isn't it all the same whether the estate is sold to-day +or isn't? It's been all up with it for a long time; there's no +turning back, the path's grown over. Be calm, dear, you shouldn't +deceive yourself, for once in your life at any rate you must look +the truth straight in the face. + +LUBOV. What truth? You see where truth is, and where untruth is, +but I seem to have lost my sight and see nothing. You boldly settle +all important questions, but tell me, dear, isn't it because you're +young, because you haven't had time to suffer till you settled a +single one of your questions? You boldly look forward, isn't it +because you cannot foresee or expect anything terrible, because so +far life has been hidden from your young eyes? You are bolder, more +honest, deeper than we are, but think only, be just a little +magnanimous, and have mercy on me. I was born here, my father and +mother lived here, my grandfather too, I love this house. I +couldn't understand my life without that cherry orchard, and if it +really must be sold, sell me with it! [Embraces TROFIMOV, kisses +his forehead]. My son was drowned here. ... [Weeps] Have pity on +me, good, kind man. + +TROFIMOV. You know I sympathize with all my soul. + +LUBOV. Yes, but it ought to be said differently, differently. ... +[Takes another handkerchief, a telegram falls on the floor] I'm so +sick at heart to-day, you can't imagine. Here it's so noisy, my +soul shakes at every sound. I shake all over, and I can't go away +by myself, I'm afraid of the silence. Don't judge me harshly, Peter ... +I loved you, as if you belonged to my family. I'd gladly let Anya +marry you, I swear it, only dear, you ought to work, finish your +studies. You don't do anything, only fate throws you about from +place to place, it's so odd. ... Isn't it true? Yes? And you ought +to do something to your beard to make it grow better [Laughs] You +are funny! + +TROFIMOV. [Picking up telegram] I don't want to be a Beau Brummel. + +LUBOV. This telegram's from Paris. I get one every day. Yesterday +and to-day. That wild man is ill again, he's bad again. ... He begs +for forgiveness, and implores me to come, and I really ought to go +to Paris to be near him. You look severe, Peter, but what can I do, +my dear, what can I do; he's ill, he's alone, unhappy, and who's to +look after him, who's to keep him away from his errors, to give him +his medicine punctually? And why should I conceal it and say +nothing about it; I love him, that's plain, I love him, I love him. ... +That love is a stone round my neck; I'm going with it to the +bottom, but I love that stone and can't live without it. [Squeezes +TROFIMOV'S hand] Don't think badly of me, Peter, don't say anything +to me, don't say ... + +TROFIMOV. [Weeping] For God's sake forgive my speaking candidly, +but that man has robbed you! + +LUBOV. No, no, no, you oughtn't to say that! [Stops her ears.] + +TROFIMOV. But he's a wretch, you alone don't know it! He's a petty +thief, a nobody. ... + +LUBOV. [Angry, but restrained] You're twenty-six or twenty-seven, +and still a schoolboy of the second class! + +TROFIMOV. Why not! + +LUBOV. You ought to be a man, at your age you ought to be able to +understand those who love. And you ought to be in love yourself, +you must fall in love! [Angry] Yes, yes! You aren't pure, you're +just a freak, a queer fellow, a funny growth ... + +TROFIMOV. [In horror] What is she saying! + +LUBOV. "I'm above love!" You're not above love, you're just what +our Fiers calls a bungler. Not to have a mistress at your age! + +TROFIMOV. [In horror] This is awful! What is she saying? [Goes +quickly up into the drawing-room, clutching his head] It's awful ... +I can't stand it, I'll go away. [Exit, but returns at once] All is +over between us! [Exit.] + +LUBOV. [Shouts after him] Peter, wait! Silly man, I was joking! +Peter! [Somebody is heard going out and falling downstairs noisily. +ANYA and VARYA scream; laughter is heard immediately] What's that? + +[ANYA comes running in, laughing.] + +ANYA. Peter's fallen downstairs! [Runs out again.] + +LUBOV. This Peter's a marvel. + +[The STATION-MASTER stands in the middle of the drawing-room and +recites "The Magdalen" by Tolstoy. He is listened to, but he has +only delivered a few lines when a waltz is heard from the front +room, and the recitation is stopped. Everybody dances. TROFIMOV, +ANYA, VARYA, and LUBOV ANDREYEVNA come in from the front room.] + +LUBOV. Well, Peter ... you pure soul ... I beg your pardon ... +let's dance. + +[She dances with PETER. ANYA and VARYA dance. FIERS enters and +stands his stick by a side door. YASHA has also come in and looks +on at the dance.] + +YASHA. Well, grandfather? + +FIERS. I'm not well. At our balls some time back, generals and +barons and admirals used to dance, and now we send for post-office +clerks and the Station-master, and even they come as a favour. I'm +very weak. The dead master, the grandfather, used to give everybody +sealing-wax when anything was wrong. I've taken sealing-wax every +day for twenty years, and more; perhaps that's why I still live. + +YASHA. I'm tired of you, grandfather. [Yawns] If you'd only hurry +up and kick the bucket. + +FIERS. Oh you ... bungler! [Mutters.] + +[TROFIMOV and LUBOV ANDREYEVNA dance in the reception-room, then +into the sitting-room.] + +LUBOV. _Merci_. I'll sit down. [Sits] I'm tired. + +[Enter ANYA.] + +ANYA. [Excited] Somebody in the kitchen was saying just now that +the cherry orchard was sold to-day. + +LUBOV. Sold to whom? + +ANYA. He didn't say to whom. He's gone now. [Dances out into the +reception-room with TROFIMOV.] + +YASHA. Some old man was chattering about it a long time ago. A +stranger! + +FIERS. And Leonid Andreyevitch isn't here yet, he hasn't come. He's +wearing a light, _demi-saison_ overcoat. He'll catch cold. Oh these +young fellows. + +LUBOV. I'll die of this. Go and find out, Yasha, to whom it's sold. + +YASHA. Oh, but he's been gone a long time, the old man. [Laughs.] + +LUBOV. [Slightly vexed] Why do you laugh? What are you glad about? + +YASHA. Epikhodov's too funny. He's a silly man. Two-and-twenty +troubles. + +LUBOV. Fiers, if the estate is sold, where will you go? + +FIERS. I'll go wherever you order me to go. + +LUBOV. Why do you look like that? Are you ill? I think you ought to +go to bed. ... + +FIERS. Yes ... [With a smile] I'll go to bed, and who'll hand +things round and give orders without me? I've the whole house on my +shoulders. + +YASHA. [To LUBOV ANDREYEVNA] Lubov Andreyevna! I want to ask a +favour of you, if you'll be so kind! If you go to Paris again, then +please take me with you. It's absolutely impossible for me to stop +here. [Looking round; in an undertone] What's the good of talking +about it, you see for yourself that this is an uneducated country, +with an immoral population, and it's so dull. The food in the +kitchen is beastly, and here's this Fiers walking about mumbling +various inappropriate things. Take me with you, be so kind! + +[Enter PISCHIN.] + +PISCHIN. I come to ask for the pleasure of a little waltz, dear +lady. ... [LUBOV ANDREYEVNA goes to him] But all the same, you +wonderful woman, I must have 180 little roubles from you ... I +must. ... [They dance] 180 little roubles. ... [They go through +into the drawing-room.] + +YASHA. [Sings softly] + "Oh, will you understand + My soul's deep restlessness?" + +[In the drawing-room a figure in a grey top-hat and in baggy check +trousers is waving its hands and jumping about; there are cries of +"Bravo, Charlotta Ivanovna!"] + +DUNYASHA. [Stops to powder her face] The young mistress tells me to +dance--there are a lot of gentlemen, but few ladies--and my head +goes round when I dance, and my heart beats, Fiers Nicolaevitch; +the Post-office clerk told me something just now which made me +catch my breath. [The music grows faint.] + +FIERS. What did he say to you? + +DUNYASHA. He says, "You're like a little flower." + +YASHA. [Yawns] Impolite. ... [Exit.] + +DUNYASHA. Like a little flower. I'm such a delicate girl; I simply +love words of tenderness. + +FIERS. You'll lose your head. + +[Enter EPIKHODOV.] + +EPIKHODOV. You, Avdotya Fedorovna, want to see me no more than if I +was some insect. [Sighs] Oh, life! + +DUNYASHA. What do you want? + +EPIKHODOV. Undoubtedly, perhaps, you may be right. [Sighs] But, +certainly, if you regard the matter from the aspect, then you, if I +may say so, and you must excuse my candidness, have absolutely +reduced me to a state of mind. I know my fate, every day something +unfortunate happens to me, and I've grown used to it a long time +ago, I even look at my fate with a smile. You gave me your word, +and though I ... + +DUNYASHA. Please, we'll talk later on, but leave me alone now. I'm +meditating now. [Plays with her fan.] + +EPIKHODOV. Every day something unfortunate happens to me, and I, if +I may so express myself, only smile, and even laugh. + +[VARYA enters from the drawing-room.] + +VARYA. Haven't you gone yet, Simeon? You really have no respect for +anybody. [To DUNYASHA] You go away, Dunyasha. [To EPIKHODOV] You +play billiards and break a cue, and walk about the drawing-room as +if you were a visitor! + +EPIKHODOV. You cannot, if I may say so, call me to order. + +VARYA. I'm not calling you to order, I'm only telling you. You just +walk about from place to place and never do your work. Goodness +only knows why we keep a clerk. + +EPIKHODOV. [Offended] Whether I work, or walk about, or eat, or +play billiards, is only a matter to be settled by people of +understanding and my elders. + +VARYA. You dare to talk to me like that! [Furious] You dare? You +mean that I know nothing? Get out of here! This minute! + +EPIKHODOV. [Nervous] I must ask you to express yourself more +delicately. + +VARYA. [Beside herself] Get out this minute. Get out! [He goes to +the door, she follows] Two-and-twenty troubles! I don't want any +sign of you here! I don't want to see anything of you! [EPIKHODOV +has gone out; his voice can be heard outside: "I'll make a +complaint against you."] What, coming back? [Snatches up the stick +left by FIERS by the door] Go ... go ... go, I'll show you. ... Are +you going? Are you going? Well, then take that. [She hits out as +LOPAKHIN enters.] + +LOPAKHIN. Much obliged. + +VARYA. [Angry but amused] I'm sorry. + +LOPAKHIN. Never mind. I thank you for my pleasant reception. + +VARYA. It isn't worth any thanks. [Walks away, then looks back and +asks gently] I didn't hurt you, did I? + +LOPAKHIN. No, not at all. There'll be an enormous bump, that's all. + +VOICES FROM THE DRAWING-ROOM. Lopakhin's returned! Ermolai +Alexeyevitch! + +PISCHIN. Now we'll see what there is to see and hear what there is +to hear. .. [Kisses LOPAKHIN] You smell of cognac, my dear, my +soul. And we're all having a good time. + +[Enter LUBOV ANDREYEVNA.] + +LUBOV. Is that you, Ermolai Alexeyevitch? Why were you so long? +Where's Leonid? + +LOPAKHIN. Leonid Andreyevitch came back with me, he's coming. ... + +LUBOV. [Excited] Well, what? Is it sold? Tell me? + +LOPAKHIN. [Confused, afraid to show his pleasure] The sale ended up +at four o'clock. ... We missed the train, and had to wait till +half-past nine. [Sighs heavily] Ooh! My head's going round a +little. + +[Enter GAEV; in his right hand he carries things he has bought, +with his left he wipes away his tears.] + +LUBOV. Leon, what's happened? Leon, well? [Impatiently, in tears] +Quick, for the love of God. ... + +GAEV. [Says nothing to her, only waves his hand; to FIERS, weeping] +Here, take this. ... Here are anchovies, herrings from Kertch. ... +I've had no food to-day. ... I have had a time! [The door from the +billiard-room is open; the clicking of the balls is heard, and +YASHA'S voice, "Seven, eighteen!" GAEV'S expression changes, he +cries no more] I'm awfully tired. Help me change my clothes, Fiers. + +[Goes out through the drawing-room; FIERS after him.] + +PISCHIN. What happened? Come on, tell us! + +LUBOV. Is the cherry orchard sold? + +LOPAKHIN. It is sold. + +LUBOV. Who bought it? + +LOPAKHIN. I bought it. + +[LUBOV ANDREYEVNA is overwhelmed; she would fall if she were not +standing by an armchair and a table. VARYA takes her keys off her +belt, throws them on the floor, into the middle of the room and +goes out.] + +LOPAKHIN. I bought it! Wait, ladies and gentlemen, please, my +head's going round, I can't talk. ... [Laughs] When we got to the +sale, Deriganov was there already. Leonid Andreyevitch had only +fifteen thousand roubles, and Deriganov offered thirty thousand on +top of the mortgage to begin with. I saw how matters were, so I +grabbed hold of him and bid forty. He went up to forty-five, I +offered fifty-five. That means he went up by fives and I went up by +tens. ... Well, it came to an end. I bid ninety more than the +mortgage; and it stayed with me. The cherry orchard is mine now, +mine! [Roars with laughter] My God, my God, the cherry orchard's +mine! Tell me I'm drunk, or mad, or dreaming. ... [Stamps his feet] +Don't laugh at me! If my father and grandfather rose from their +graves and looked at the whole affair, and saw how their Ermolai, +their beaten and uneducated Ermolai, who used to run barefoot in +the winter, how that very Ermolai has bought an estate, which is +the most beautiful thing in the world! I've bought the estate where +my grandfather and my father were slaves, where they weren't even +allowed into the kitchen. I'm asleep, it's only a dream, an +illusion. ... It's the fruit of imagination, wrapped in the fog of +the unknown. ... [Picks up the keys, nicely smiling] She threw down +the keys, she wanted to show she was no longer mistress here. ... +[Jingles keys] Well, it's all one! [Hears the band tuning up] Eh, +musicians, play, I want to hear you! Come and look at Ermolai +Lopakhin laying his axe to the cherry orchard, come and look at the +trees falling! We'll build villas here, and our grandsons and +great-grandsons will see a new life here. ... Play on, music! [The +band plays. LUBOV ANDREYEVNA sinks into a chair and weeps bitterly. +LOPAKHIN continues reproachfully] Why then, why didn't you take my +advice? My poor, dear woman, you can't go back now. [Weeps] Oh, if +only the whole thing was done with, if only our uneven, unhappy +life were changed! + +PISCHIN. [Takes his arm; in an undertone] She's crying. Let's go +into the drawing-room and leave her by herself ... come on. ... +[Takes his arm and leads him out.] + +LOPAKHIN. What's that? Bandsmen, play nicely! Go on, do just as I +want you to! [Ironically] The new owner, the owner of the cherry +orchard is coming! [He accidentally knocks up against a little +table and nearly upsets the candelabra] I can pay for everything! +[Exit with PISCHIN] + +[In the reception-room and the drawing-room nobody remains except +LUBOV ANDREYEVNA, who sits huddled up and weeping bitterly. The +band plays softly. ANYA and TROFIMOV come in quickly. ANYA goes up +to her mother and goes on her knees in front of her. TROFIMOV +stands at the drawing-room entrance.] + +ANYA. Mother! mother, are you crying? My dear, kind, good mother, +my beautiful mother, I love you! Bless you! The cherry orchard is +sold, we've got it no longer, it's true, true, but don't cry +mother, you've still got your life before you, you've still your +beautiful pure soul ... Come with me, come, dear, away from here, +come! We'll plant a new garden, finer than this, and you'll see it, +and you'll understand, and deep joy, gentle joy will sink into your +soul, like the evening sun, and you'll smile, mother! Come, dear, +let's go! + +Curtain. + + +ACT FOUR + + +[The stage is set as for Act I. There are no curtains on the +windows, no pictures; only a few pieces of furniture are left; they +are piled up in a corner as if for sale. The emptiness is felt. By +the door that leads out of the house and at the back of the stage, +portmanteaux and travelling paraphernalia are piled up. The door on +the left is open; the voices of VARYA and ANYA can be heard through +it. LOPAKHIN stands and waits. YASHA holds a tray with little +tumblers of champagne. Outside, EPIKHODOV is tying up a box. Voices +are heard behind the stage. The peasants have come to say good-bye. +The voice of GAEV is heard: "Thank you, brothers, thank you."] + +YASHA. The common people have come to say good-bye. I am of the +opinion, Ermolai Alexeyevitch, that they're good people, but they +don't understand very much. + +[The voices die away. LUBOV ANDREYEVNA and GAEV enter. She is not +crying but is pale, and her face trembles; she can hardly speak.] + +GAEV. You gave them your purse, Luba. You can't go on like that, +you can't! + +LUBOV. I couldn't help myself, I couldn't! [They go out.] + +LOPAKHIN. [In the doorway, calling after them] Please, I ask you +most humbly! Just a little glass to say good-bye. I didn't remember +to bring any from town and I only found one bottle at the station. +Please, do! [Pause] Won't you really have any? [Goes away from the +door] If I only knew--I wouldn't have bought any. Well, I shan't +drink any either. [YASHA carefully puts the tray on a chair] You +have a drink, Yasha, at any rate. + +YASHA. To those departing! And good luck to those who stay behind! +[Drinks] I can assure you that this isn't real champagne. + +LOPAKHIN. Eight roubles a bottle. [Pause] It's devilish cold here. + +YASHA. There are no fires to-day, we're going away. [Laughs] + +LOPAKHIN. What's the matter with you? + +YASHA. I'm just pleased. + +LOPAKHIN. It's October outside, but it's as sunny and as quiet as +if it were summer. Good for building. [Looking at his watch and +speaking through the door] Ladies and gentlemen, please remember +that it's only forty-seven minutes till the train goes! You must go +off to the station in twenty minutes. Hurry up. + +[TROFIMOV, in an overcoat, comes in from the grounds.] + +TROFIMOV. I think it's time we went. The carriages are waiting. +Where the devil are my goloshes? They're lost. [Through the door] +Anya, I can't find my goloshes! I can't! + +LOPAKHIN. I've got to go to Kharkov. I'm going in the same train as +you. I'm going to spend the whole winter in Kharkov. I've been +hanging about with you people, going rusty without work. I can't +live without working. I must have something to do with my hands; +they hang about as if they weren't mine at all. + +TROFIMOV. We'll go away now and then you'll start again on your +useful labours. + +LOPAKHIN. Have a glass. + +TROFIMOV. I won't. + +LOPAKHIN. So you're off to Moscow now? + +TROFIMOV Yes. I'll see them into town and to-morrow I'm off to +Moscow. + +LOPAKHIN. Yes. ... I expect the professors don't lecture nowadays; +they're waiting till you turn up! + +TROFIMOV. That's not your business. + +LOPAKHIN. How many years have you been going to the university? + +TROFIMOV. Think of something fresh. This is old and flat. [Looking +for his goloshes] You know, we may not meet each other again, so +just let me give you a word of advice on parting: "Don't wave your +hands about! Get rid of that habit of waving them about. And then, +building villas and reckoning on their residents becoming freeholders +in time--that's the same thing; it's all a matter of waving your hands +about. ... Whether I want to or not, you know, I like you. You've +thin, delicate fingers, like those of an artist, and you've a thin, +delicate soul. ..." + +LOPAKHIN. [Embraces him] Good-bye, dear fellow. Thanks for all +you've said. If you want any, take some money from me for the +journey. + +TROFIMOV. Why should I? I don't want it. + +LOPAKHIN. But you've nothing! + +TROFIMOV. Yes, I have, thank you; I've got some for a translation. +Here it is in my pocket. [Nervously] But I can't find my goloshes! + +VARYA. [From the other room] Take your rubbish away! [Throws a pair +of rubber goloshes on to the stage.] + +TROFIMOV. Why are you angry, Varya? Hm! These aren't my goloshes! + +LOPAKHIN. In the spring I sowed three thousand acres of poppies, +and now I've made forty thousand roubles net profit. And when my +poppies were in flower, what a picture it was! So I, as I was +saying, made forty thousand roubles, and I mean I'd like to lend +you some, because I can afford it. Why turn up your nose at it? I'm +just a simple peasant. ... + +TROFIMOV. Your father was a peasant, mine was a chemist, and that +means absolutely nothing. [LOPAKHIN takes out his pocket-book] No, +no. ... Even if you gave me twenty thousand I should refuse. I'm a +free man. And everything that all you people, rich and poor, value +so highly and so dearly hasn't the least influence over me; it's +like a flock of down in the wind. I can do without you, I can pass +you by. I'm strong and proud. Mankind goes on to the highest truths +and to the highest happiness such as is only possible on earth, and +I go in the front ranks! + +LOPAKHIN. Will you get there? + +TROFIMOV. I will. [Pause] I'll get there and show others the way. +[Axes cutting the trees are heard in the distance.] + +LOPAKHIN. Well, good-bye, old man. It's time to go. Here we stand +pulling one another's noses, but life goes its own way all the +time. When I work for a long time, and I don't get tired, then I +think more easily, and I think I get to understand why I exist. And +there are so many people in Russia, brother, who live for nothing +at all. Still, work goes on without that. Leonid Andreyevitch, they +say, has accepted a post in a bank; he will get sixty thousand +roubles a year. ... But he won't stand it; he's very lazy. + +ANYA. [At the door] Mother asks if you will stop them cutting down +the orchard until she has gone away. + +TROFIMOV. Yes, really, you ought to have enough tact not to do +that. [Exit.] + +LOPAKHIN, All right, all right ... yes, he's right. [Exit.] + +ANYA. Has Fiers been sent to the hospital? + +YASHA. I gave the order this morning. I suppose they've sent him. + +ANYA. [To EPIKHODOV, who crosses the room] Simeon Panteleyevitch, +please make inquiries if Fiers has been sent to the hospital. + +YASHA. [Offended] I told Egor this morning. What's the use of +asking ten times! + +EPIKHODOV. The aged Fiers, in my conclusive opinion, isn't worth +mending; his forefathers had better have him. I only envy him. +[Puts a trunk on a hat-box and squashes it] Well, of course. I +thought so! [Exit.] + +YASHA. [Grinning] Two-and-twenty troubles. + +VARYA. [Behind the door] Has Fiers been taken away to the hospital? + +ANYA. Yes. + +VARYA. Why didn't they take the letter to the doctor? + +ANYA. It'll have to be sent after him. [Exit.] + +VARYA. [In the next room] Where's Yasha? Tell him his mother's come +and wants to say good-bye to him. + +YASHA. [Waving his hand] She'll make me lose all patience! + +[DUNYASHA has meanwhile been bustling round the luggage; now that +YASHA is left alone, she goes up to him.] + +DUNYASHA. If you only looked at me once, Yasha. You're going away, +leaving me behind. + +[Weeps and hugs him round the neck.] + +YASHA. What's the use of crying? [Drinks champagne] In six days +I'll be again in Paris. To-morrow we get into the express and off +we go. I can hardly believe it. Vive la France! It doesn't suit me +here, I can't live here ... it's no good. Well, I've seen the +uncivilized world; I have had enough of it. [Drinks champagne] What +do you want to cry for? You behave yourself properly, and then you +won't cry. + +DUNYASHA. [Looks in a small mirror and powders her face] Send me a +letter from Paris. You know I loved you, Yasha, so much! I'm a +sensitive creature, Yasha. + +YASHA. Somebody's coming. + +[He bustles around the luggage, singing softly. Enter LUBOV +ANDREYEVNA, GAEV, ANYA, and CHARLOTTA IVANOVNA.] + +GAEV. We'd better be off. There's no time left. [Looks at YASHA] +Somebody smells of herring! + +LUBOV. We needn't get into our carriages for ten minutes. ... +[Looks round the room] Good-bye, dear house, old grandfather. The +winter will go, the spring will come, and then you'll exist no +more, you'll be pulled down. How much these walls have seen! +[Passionately kisses her daughter] My treasure, you're radiant, +your eyes flash like two jewels! Are you happy? Very? + +ANYA. Very! A new life is beginning, mother! + +GAEV. [Gaily] Yes, really, everything's all right now. Before the +cherry orchard was sold we all were excited and we suffered, and +then, when the question was solved once and for all, we all calmed +down, and even became cheerful. I'm a bank official now, and a +financier ... red in the middle; and you, Luba, for some reason or +other, look better, there's no doubt about it. + +LUBOV Yes. My nerves are better, it's true. [She puts on her coat +and hat] I sleep well. Take my luggage out, Yasha. It's time. [To +ANYA] My little girl, we'll soon see each other again. ... I'm off +to Paris. I'll live there on the money your grandmother from +Yaroslav sent along to buy the estate--bless her!--though it won't +last long. + +ANYA. You'll come back soon, soon, mother, won't you? I'll get +ready, and pass the exam at the Higher School, and then I'll work +and help you. We'll read all sorts of books to one another, won't +we? [Kisses her mother's hands] We'll read in the autumn evenings; +we'll read many books, and a beautiful new world will open up +before us. ... [Thoughtfully] You'll come, mother. ... + +LUBOV. I'll come, my darling. [Embraces her.] + +[Enter LOPAKHIN. CHARLOTTA is singing to herself.] + +GAEV. Charlotta is happy; she sings! + +CHARLOTTA. [Takes a bundle, looking like a wrapped-up baby] My +little baby, bye-bye. [The baby seems to answer, "Oua! Oua!"] Hush, +my nice little boy. ["Oua! Oua!"] I'm so sorry for you! [Throws the +bundle back] So please find me a new place. I can't go on like +this. + +LOPAKHIN. We'll find one, Charlotta Ivanovna, don't you be afraid. + +GAEV. Everybody's leaving us. Varya's going away ... we've suddenly +become unnecessary. + +CHARLOTTA. I've nowhere to live in town. I must go away. [Hums] +Never mind. + +[Enter PISCHIN.] + +LOPAKHIN. Nature's marvel! + +PISCHIN. [Puffing] Oh, let me get my breath back. ... I'm fagged +out ... My most honoured, give me some water. ... + +GAEV. Come for money, what? I'm your humble servant, and I'm going out +of the way of temptation. [Exit.] + +PISCHIN. I haven't been here for ever so long ... dear madam. [To +LOPAKHIN] You here? Glad to see you ... man of immense brain ... +take this ... take it. ... [Gives LOPAKHIN money] Four hundred +roubles. ... That leaves 840. ... + +LOPAKHIN. [Shrugs his shoulders in surprise] As if I were dreaming. +Where did you get this from? + +PISCHIN. Stop ... it's hot. ... A most unexpected thing happened. +Some Englishmen came along and found some white clay on my land. ... +[To LUBOV ANDREYEVNA] And here's four hundred for you ... beautiful +lady. ... [Gives her money] Give you the rest later. ... [Drinks +water] Just now a young man in the train was saying that some great +philosopher advises us all to jump off roofs. "Jump!" he says, and +that's all. [Astonished] To think of that, now! More water! + +LOPAKHIN. Who were these Englishmen? + +PISCHIN. I've leased off the land with the clay to them for twenty-four +years. ... Now, excuse me, I've no time. ... I must run off. ... I +must go to Znoikov and to Kardamonov ... I owe them all money. ... +[Drinks] Good-bye. I'll come in on Thursday. + +LUBOV. We're just off to town, and to-morrow I go abroad. + +PISCHIN. [Agitated] What? Why to town? I see furniture ... trunks. ... +Well, never mind. [Crying] Never mind. These Englishmen are men of +immense intellect. ... Never mind. ... Be happy. ... God will help +you. ... Never mind. ... Everything in this world comes to an end. ... +[Kisses LUBOV ANDREYEVNA'S hand] And if you should happen to hear +that my end has come, just remember this old ... horse and say: +"There was one such and such a Simeonov-Pischin, God bless his +soul. ..." Wonderful weather ... yes. ... [Exit deeply moved, but +returns at once and says in the door] Dashenka sent her love! +[Exit.] + +LUBOV. Now we can go. I've two anxieties, though. The first is poor +Fiers [Looks at her watch] We've still five minutes. ... + +ANYA. Mother, Fiers has already been sent to the hospital. Yasha +sent him off this morning. + +LUBOV. The second is Varya. She's used to getting up early and to +work, and now she's no work to do she's like a fish out of water. +She's grown thin and pale, and she cries, poor thing. ... [Pause] +You know very well, Ermolai Alexeyevitch, that I used to hope to +marry her to you, and I suppose you are going to marry somebody? +[Whispers to ANYA, who nods to CHARLOTTA, and they both go out] She +loves you, she's your sort, and I don't understand, I really don't, +why you seem to be keeping away from each other. I don't +understand! + +LOPAKHIN. To tell the truth, I don't understand it myself. It's all +so strange. ... If there's still time, I'll be ready at once ... +Let's get it over, once and for all; I don't feel as if I could +ever propose to her without you. + +LUBOV. Excellent. It'll only take a minute. I'll call her. + +LOPAKHIN. The champagne's very appropriate. [Looking at the +tumblers] They're empty, somebody's already drunk them. [YASHA +coughs] I call that licking it up. ... + +LUBOV. [Animated] Excellent. We'll go out. Yasha, allez. I'll call +her in. ... [At the door] Varya, leave that and come here. Come! +[Exit with YASHA.] + +LOPAKHIN. [Looks at his watch] Yes. ... [Pause.] + +[There is a restrained laugh behind the door, a whisper, then VARYA +comes in.] + +VARYA. [Looking at the luggage in silence] I can't seem to find it. ... + +LOPAKHIN. What are you looking for? + +VARYA. I packed it myself and I don't remember. [Pause.] + +LOPAKHIN. Where are you going to now, Barbara Mihailovna? + +VARYA. I? To the Ragulins. ... I've got an agreement to go and look +after their house ... as housekeeper or something. + +LOPAKHIN. Is that at Yashnevo? It's about fifty miles. [Pause] So +life in this house is finished now. ... + +VARYA. [Looking at the luggage] Where is it? ... perhaps I've put +it away in the trunk. ... Yes, there'll be no more life in this +house. ... + +LOPAKHIN. And I'm off to Kharkov at once ... by this train. I've a +lot of business on hand. I'm leaving Epikhodov here ... I've taken +him on. + +VARYA. Well, well! + +LOPAKHIN. Last year at this time the snow was already falling, if +you remember, and now it's nice and sunny. Only it's rather cold. ... +There's three degrees of frost. + +VARYA. I didn't look. [Pause] And our thermometer's broken. ... +[Pause.] + +VOICE AT THE DOOR. Ermolai Alexeyevitch! + +LOPAKHIN. [As if he has long been waiting to be called] This +minute. [Exit quickly.] + +[VARYA, sitting on the floor, puts her face on a bundle of clothes +and weeps gently. The door opens. LUBOV ANDREYEVNA enters +carefully.] + +LUBOV. Well? [Pause] We must go. + +VARYA. [Not crying now, wipes her eyes] Yes, it's quite time, +little mother. I'll get to the Ragulins to-day, if I don't miss the +train. ... + +LUBOV. [At the door] Anya, put on your things. [Enter ANYA, then +GAEV, CHARLOTTA IVANOVNA. GAEV wears a warm overcoat with a cape. A +servant and drivers come in. EPIKHODOV bustles around the luggage] +Now we can go away. + +ANYA. [Joyfully] Away! + +GAEV. My friends, my dear friends! Can I be silent, in leaving this +house for evermore?--can I restrain myself, in saying farewell, +from expressing those feelings which now fill my whole being ...? + +ANYA. [Imploringly] Uncle! + +VARYA. Uncle, you shouldn't! + +GAEV. [Stupidly] Double the red into the middle. ... I'll be quiet. + +[Enter TROFIMOV, then LOPAKHIN.] + +TROFIMOV. Well, it's time to be off. + +LOPAKHIN. Epikhodov, my coat! + +LUBOV. I'll sit here one more minute. It's as if I'd never really +noticed what the walls and ceilings of this house were like, and +now I look at them greedily, with such tender love. ... + +GAEV. I remember, when I was six years old, on Trinity Sunday, I +sat at this window and looked and saw my father going to church. ... + +LUBOV. Have all the things been taken away? + +LOPAKHIN. Yes, all, I think. [To EPIKHODOV, putting on his coat] +You see that everything's quite straight, Epikhodov. + +EPIKHODOV. [Hoarsely] You may depend upon me, Ermolai Alexeyevitch! + +LOPAKHIN. What's the matter with your voice? + +EPIKHODOV. I swallowed something just now; I was having a drink of +water. + +YASHA. [Suspiciously] What manners. ... + +LUBOV. We go away, and not a soul remains behind. + +LOPAKHIN. Till the spring. + +VARYA. [Drags an umbrella out of a bundle, and seems to be waving +it about. LOPAKHIN appears to be frightened] What are you doing? ... +I never thought ... + +TROFIMOV. Come along, let's take our seats ... it's time! The train +will be in directly. + +VARYA. Peter, here they are, your goloshes, by that trunk. [In +tears] And how old and dirty they are. ... + +TROFIMOV. [Putting them on] Come on! + +GAEV. [Deeply moved, nearly crying] The train ... the station. ... +Cross in the middle, a white double in the corner. ... + +LUBOV. Let's go! + +LOPAKHIN. Are you all here? There's nobody else? [Locks the +side-door on the left] There's a lot of things in there. I must +lock them up. Come! + +ANYA. Good-bye, home! Good-bye, old life! + +TROFIMOV. Welcome, new life! [Exit with ANYA.] + +[VARYA looks round the room and goes out slowly. YASHA and +CHARLOTTA, with her little dog, go out.] + +LOPAKHIN. Till the spring, then! Come on ... till we meet again! +[Exit.] + +[LUBOV ANDREYEVNA and GAEV are left alone. They might almost have +been waiting for that. They fall into each other's arms and sob +restrainedly and quietly, fearing that somebody might hear them.] + +GAEV. [In despair] My sister, my sister. ... + +LUBOV. My dear, my gentle, beautiful orchard! My life, my youth, my +happiness, good-bye! Good-bye! + +ANYA'S VOICE. [Gaily] Mother! + +TROFIMOV'S VOICE. [Gaily, excited] Coo-ee! + +LUBOV. To look at the walls and the windows for the last time. ... +My dead mother used to like to walk about this room. ... + +GAEV. My sister, my sister! + +ANYA'S VOICE. Mother! + +TROFIMOV'S VOICE. Coo-ee! + +LUBOV. We're coming! [They go out.] + +[The stage is empty. The sound of keys being turned in the locks is +heard, and then the noise of the carriages going away. It is quiet. +Then the sound of an axe against the trees is heard in the silence +sadly and by itself. Steps are heard. FIERS comes in from the door +on the right. He is dressed as usual, in a short jacket and white +waistcoat; slippers on his feet. He is ill. He goes to the door and +tries the handle.] + +FIERS. It's locked. They've gone away. [Sits on a sofa] They've +forgotten about me. ... Never mind, I'll sit here. ... And Leonid +Andreyevitch will have gone in a light overcoat instead of putting +on his fur coat. ... [Sighs anxiously] I didn't see. ... Oh, these +young people! [Mumbles something that cannot be understood] Life's +gone on as if I'd never lived. [Lying down] I'll lie down. ... +You've no strength left in you, nothing left at all. ... Oh, you ... +bungler! + +[He lies without moving. The distant sound is heard, as if from +the sky, of a breaking string, dying away sadly. Silence follows +it, and only the sound is heard, some way away in the orchard, of +the axe falling on the trees.] + +Curtain. + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Plays by Anton Chekhov, Second Series +by Anton Chekhov + +*** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK SECOND SERIES PLAYS *** + +This file should be named 8pla210.txt or 8pla210.zip +Corrected EDITIONS of our eBooks get a new NUMBER, 8pla211.txt +VERSIONS based on separate sources get new LETTER, 8pla210a.txt + +Transcribed by James Rusk and Produced for PG by Nicole Apostola + +Project Gutenberg eBooks are often created from several printed +editions, all of which are confirmed as Public Domain in the US +unless a copyright notice is included. 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