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+*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 78483 ***
+
+
+
+
+THE YOUNG IMMIGRUNTS
+
+[Illustration:
+
+  _Art studios
+  Main St._
+
+  _Stiegleman Bros._
+
+_The Author—“Bill”_]
+
+
+
+
+  The
+  Young Immigrunts
+
+  _By_
+
+  RING W. LARDNER, JR.
+
+  WITH A PREFACE BY
+  THE FATHER
+
+  _Portraits by Gaar Williams_
+
+  INDIANAPOLIS
+  THE BOBBS-MERRILL COMPANY
+  PUBLISHERS
+
+
+
+
+  COPYRIGHT 1920
+  THE CURTIS PUBLISHING COMPANY
+
+  COPYRIGHT 1920
+  THE BOBBS-MERRILL COMPANY
+
+  _Printed in the United States of America_
+
+  PRESS OF
+  BRAUNWORTH & CO.
+  BOOK MANUFACTURERS
+  BROOKLYN, N. Y.
+
+
+
+
+CONTENTS
+
+
+  CHAPTER                                                           PAGE
+
+  PREFACE BY THE FATHER                                               ix
+
+  1 MY PARENTS                                                        13
+
+  2 STARTING GAILY                                                    19
+
+  3 ERIE LAKE                                                         29
+
+  4 BUFFALO TO ROCHESTER 76.4                                         39
+
+  5 MY FATHER’S IDEAR                                                 44
+
+  6 SYRACUSE TO HUDSON 183.2                                          50
+
+  7 HUDSON                                                            63
+
+  8 HUDSON TO YONKERS 106.5                                           71
+
+  9 THE BUREAU OF MANHATTAN                                           76
+
+  10 N. Y. TO GRENITCH 500.0                                          78
+
+  11 HOW IT ENDED                                                     82
+
+
+[Illustration:
+
+  9¼
+  MILES
+
+  PIANOS
+
+  GENESEE
+  STREET
+]
+
+
+
+
+LIST OF ILLUSTRATIONS
+
+
+                                                                    PAGE
+
+  The Author                                              _Frontispiece_
+
+  The Rest of the Family                                              15
+
+  Granmother at Goshen                                                21
+
+  Uncle Bill                                                          25
+
+  Uncle and Ant in Detroit                                            31
+
+  The Bride and Glum                                                  35
+
+  The Man with the Adams Apple                                        41
+
+  The Dirty Mechanic                                                  47
+
+  Dr. and Mrs. Heywood                                                53
+
+  The Policeman at Albany                                             59
+
+  A Man of 12 Years                                                   65
+
+  The Lanlady                                                         69
+
+  The Policeman at New Rochelle                                       79
+
+  Our nurse                                                           83
+
+
+[Illustration:
+
+  CITY LIMITS
+  SPEED
+  NINE (9) MILES
+]
+
+
+
+
+PREFACE
+
+
+The person whose name is signed to this novel was born on the
+nineteenth day of August, 1915, and was therefore four years and three
+months old when the manuscript was found, late in November, 1919. The
+narrative is substantially true, with the following exceptions:
+
+  1. “My Father,” the leading character in the work, is depicted as a
+  man of short temper, whereas the person from whom the character was
+  drawn is in reality as pleasant a fellow as one would care to meet
+  and seldom has a cross word for any one, let alone women and children.
+
+  2. The witty speeches accredited to “My Father” have, possibly owing
+  to the limitations of a child’s memory, been so garbled and twisted
+  that they do not look half so good in print as they sounded in the
+  open air.
+
+  3. More stops for gas were made than are mentioned in the story.
+
+As the original manuscript was written on a typewriter with a rather
+frayed ribbon, and as certain words were marked out and others
+hand-written in, I have taken the liberty of copying the entire
+work with a fresh ribbon and the inclusion of the changes which the
+author indicated in pencil in the first draft. Otherwise the story is
+presented to the reader exactly as it was first set down.
+
+  THE FATHER.
+
+
+
+
+THE YOUNG IMMIGRUNTS
+
+[Illustration: FREE AIR
+
+GAS]
+
+
+
+
+The Young Immigrunts
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER 1
+
+My Parents
+
+
+My parents are both married and ½ of them are very good looking. The
+balance is tall and skiny and has a swarty complexion with moles but
+you hardily ever notice them on account of your gaze being rapped up
+in his feet which would be funny if brevvity wasnt the soul of wit.
+Everybody says I have his eyes and I am glad it didnt half to be
+something else tho Rollie Zeider the ball player calls him owl eyes for
+a nick name but if I was Rollie Zeider and his nose I wouldnt pick on
+somebodys else features.
+
+He wears pretty shirts which he bought off of another old ball player
+Artie Hofman to attrack tension off of his feet and must of payed a big
+price for them I heard my ant tell my uncle when they thorght I was a
+sleep down to the lake tho I guess he pays even more for his shoes if
+they sell them by the frunt foot.
+
+I was born in a hospittle in Chicago 4 years ago and liked it very much
+and had no idear we were going to move till 1 day last summer I heard
+my mother arsk our nurse did she think she could get along O. K. with
+myself and 3 brothers John Jimmie and David for 10 days wilst she and
+my old man went east to look for a costly home.
+
+[Illustration: _The Rest of the Family_]
+
+Well yes said our nurse barshfully.
+
+I may as well exclaim to the reader that John is 7 and Jimmie is 5 and
+I am 4 and David is almost nothing as yet you might say and tho I was
+named for my father they call me Bill thank God.
+
+The conversation amungst my mother and our nurse took place right after
+my father came back from Toledo where Jack Dempsey knocked Jessie
+Willard for a gool tho my father liked the big fellow and bet on him.
+
+David was in his bath at the time and my mother and our nurse and
+myself and 2 elder brothers was standing around admireing him tho I
+notice that when the rest of the family takes their bath they dont make
+open house of the occassion.
+
+Well my parents went east and dureing their absents myself and brothers
+razed hell with David on the night shift but when they come back my
+mother said to the nurse were they good boys.
+
+Fine replid our nurse lamely and where are you going to live.
+
+Connecticut said my mother.
+
+Our nurse forced a tired smile.
+
+Here we will leave my parents to unpack and end this chapter.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER 2
+
+Starting Gaily
+
+
+We spent the rest of the summer on my granmother in Indiana and my
+father finley went to the worst series to write it up as he has
+followed sports of all sorts for years and is a expert so he bet on the
+wite sox and when he come home he acted rarther cross.
+
+Well said my mother simperingly I suppose we can start east now.
+
+We will start east when we get good and ready said my father with a
+lordly sneeze.
+
+The next thing was how was we going to make the trip as my father had
+boughten a new car that the cheepest way to get it there was drive it
+besides carrying a grate deal of our costly bagage but if all of us
+went in it they would be no room left for our costly bagage and besides
+2 of my brothers always acts like devils incarnite when they get in a
+car so my mother said to our nurse.
+
+If you think you can manage the 2 older boys and David on the train
+myself and husband will take Bill in the car said my mother to our
+nurse.
+
+Fine replid our nurse with a gastly look witch my mother did not see.
+
+[Illustration: _Grandmother at Goshen_]
+
+Myself and parents left Goshen Indiana on a fine Monday morning
+leaveing our nurse and brothers to come latter in the weak on the
+railway. Our plans was to reach Detroit that night and stop with my
+uncle and ant and the next evening take the boat to Buffalo and
+thence to Connecticut by motor so the first town we past through was
+Middlebury.
+
+Elmer Flick the old ball player use to live here said my father
+modestly.
+
+My mother forced a smile and soon we were acrost the Michigan line and
+my mother made the remark that she was thirsty.
+
+We will stop at Coldwater for lunch said my father with a strate face
+as he pulls most of his lines without changeing expressions.
+
+Sure enough we puled up to 1 side of the road just after leaveing
+Coldwater and had our costly viands of frid chicken and doughnuts and
+milk fernished by my grate ant and of witch I partook freely.
+
+We will stop at Ypsilanti for supper said my father in calm tones that
+is where they have the state normal school.
+
+I was glad to hear this and hoped we would get there before dark as I
+had always wanted to come in contack with normal peaple and see what
+they are like and just at dusk we entered a large size town and drove
+past a large size football field.
+
+Heavens said my mother this must be a abnormal school to have such a
+large football field.
+
+My father wore a qeer look.
+
+This is not Ypsilanti this is Ann Arbor he crid.
+
+But I thorght you said we would go south of Ann Arbor and direct to
+Ypsilanti said my mother with a smirk.
+
+[Illustration:
+
+  GLEE CLUB
+
+_Uncle Bill_]
+
+I did say that but I thorght I would surprise you by comeing into Ann
+Arbor replid my father with a corse jesture.
+
+Personly I think the suprise was unanimous.
+
+Well now we are here said my mother we might as well look up Bill.
+
+Bill is my uncle Bill so we stoped at the Alfa Delt house and got him
+and took him down to the hotel for supper and my old man called up Mr.
+Yost the football coach of the Michigan football team and he come down
+and visited with us.
+
+What kind of a team have you got coach said my father lamely.
+
+I have got a determined team replid Mr. Yost they are determined to not
+play football.
+
+At this junction my unlucky mother changed the subjeck to the league
+of nations and it was 10 o’clock before Mr. Yost come to a semi colon
+so we could resume our jurney and by the time we past through Ypsilanti
+the peaple was not only subnormal but unconsius. It was nerly midnight
+when we puled up in frunt of my ants and uncles house in Detroit that
+had been seting up since 7 expecting us.
+
+Were sorry to be so late said my mother bruskly.
+
+Were awfully glad you could come at all replid my ant with a ill
+consealed yawn.
+
+We will now leave my relitives to get some sleep and end this chapter.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER 3
+
+Erie Lake
+
+
+The boat leaves Detroit every afternoon at 5 oclock and reachs Buffalo
+the next morning at 9 tho I would better exclaim to my readers that
+when it is 9 oclock in Buffalo it is only 8 oclock in Goshen for
+instants as Buffalo peaple are qeer.
+
+Well said my father the next morning at brekfus I wander what time we
+half to get the car on the board of the boat.
+
+I will find out down town and call up and let you know replid my uncle
+who is a engineer and digs soors or something.
+
+Sure enough he called up dureing the fornoon and said the car must be
+on the board of the boat at 3 oclock so my father left the house at
+2 oclock and drove down to the worf tho he had never drove a car in
+Detroit before but has nerves of steal. Latter my uncle come out to his
+home and took myself and mother and ant down to the worf where my old
+man was waiting for us haveing put the car on the board.
+
+What have you been doing ever since 3 oclock arsked my mother as it was
+now nerly 5.
+
+Haveing a high ball my father replid.
+
+I thorght Detroit was dry said my mother shyly.
+
+[Illustration: _Uncle and Ant at Detroit_]
+
+Did you said my father with a rye smile and as it was now nerly time
+for the boat to leave we said good by to my uncle and ant and went
+on the boat. A messenger took our costly bagage and put it away wilst
+myself and parents went out on the porch and set looking at the peaple
+on the worf. Suddenly they was a grate hub bub on the worf and a young
+man and lady started up the gangs plank wilst a big crowd throwed rice
+and old shoes at them and made a up roar.
+
+Bride and glum going to Niagara Falls said my father who is well
+travelled and seams to know everything.
+
+Instantly the boat give a blarst on the wistle and I started with
+suprise.
+
+Did that scare you Bill said my father and seamed to enjoy it and I
+supose he would of laughed out right had I fell overboard and been
+drowned in the narsty river water.
+
+Soon we were steeming up the river on the city of Detroit 3.
+
+That is Canada over there is it not said my mother.
+
+What did you think it was the Austrian Tyrol replid my father
+explodeing a cough. Dureing our progress up the river I noticed sevral
+funny things flotting in the water with lanterns hanging on them and
+was wandering what they could be when my mother said they seam to have
+plenty of boys.
+
+They have got nothing on us replid my father quick as a flarsh.
+
+A little latter who should come out on the porch and set themselfs ner
+us but the bride and glum.
+
+[Illustration: _The Bride and Glum_]
+
+Oh I said to myself I hope they will talk so as I can hear them as I
+have always wandered what newlyweds talk about on their way to Niagara
+Falls and soon my wishs was realized.
+
+Some night said the young glum are you warm enough.
+
+I am perfectly comfertible replid the fare bride tho her looks belid
+her words what time do we arive in Buffalo.
+
+9 oclock said the lordly glum are you warm enough.
+
+I am perfectly comfertible replid the fare bride what time do we arive
+in Buffalo.
+
+9 oclock said the lordly glum I am afrade it is too cold for you out
+here.
+
+Well maybe it is replid the fare bride and without farther adieu they
+went in the spacius parlers.
+
+I wander will he be arsking her 8 years from now is she warm enough
+said my mother with a faint grimace.
+
+The weather may change before then replid my father.
+
+Are you warm enough said my father after a slite pause.
+
+No was my mothers catchy reply.
+
+Well said my father we arive in Buffalo at 9 oclock and with that we
+all went inside as it was now pitch dark and had our supper and retired
+and when we rose the next morning and drest and had brekfus we puled up
+to the worf in Buffalo and it was 9 oclock so I will leave the city of
+Detroit 3 tide to the worf and end this chapter.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER 4
+
+Buffalo to Rochester 76.4
+
+
+As we was leaveing the boat who should I see right along side of us but
+the fare bride and the lordly glum.
+
+We are right on the dot said the glum looking at his costly watch it is
+just 9 oclock and so they past out of my life.
+
+We had to wait qite a wile wilst the old man dug up his bill of loading
+and got the costly moter.
+
+We will half to get some gas he said I wonder where they is a garage.
+
+No sooner had the words fell from his lips when a man with a flagrant
+Adams apple handed him a card with the name of a garage on it.
+
+Go up Genesee st 5 blks and turn to the left or something said the man
+with the apple.
+
+Soon we reached the garage and had the gas tank filled with gas it was
+27 cents in Buffalo and soon we was on our way to Rochester. Well these
+are certainly grate roads said my father barshfully.
+
+They have lots better roads in the east than out west replid my mother
+with a knowing wink.
+
+The roads all through the east are better than out west remarked my
+father at lenth.
+
+These are wonderfull replid my mother smuggleing me vs her arm.
+
+[Illustration: _The Man with the Adams Apple_]
+
+The time past quickly with my parents in so jocular a mood and all
+most before I knew it we was on the outer skirts of Batavia.
+
+What town is this quired my mother in a tolerant voice.
+
+Batavia husked my father sloughing down to 15 miles per hour.
+
+Well maybe we would better stop and have lunch here said my mother
+coyly.
+
+We will have lunch in Rochester replid my father with a loud cough.
+
+My mother forced a smile and it was about ½ past 12 when we arived in
+Rochester and soon we was on Genesee st and finley stoped in front of a
+elegant hotel and shared a costly lunch.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER 5
+
+My Father’s Idear
+
+
+Wilst participateing in the lordly viands my father halled out his map
+and give it the up and down.
+
+Look at here he said at lenth they seams to be a choice of 2 main roads
+between here and Syracuse but 1 of them gos way up north to Oswego
+wilst the other gos way south to Geneva where as Syracuse is strate
+east from here you might say so it looks to me like we would save both
+millage and time if we was to drive strate east through Lyons the way
+the railway gos.
+
+Well I dont want to ride on the ties said my mother with a loud cough.
+
+Well you dont half to because they seams to be a little road that gos
+strate through replid my father removeing a flys cadaver from the
+costly farina.
+
+Well you would better stick to the main roads said my mother tacklessly.
+
+Well you would better stick to your own business replid my father with
+a pungent glance.
+
+Soon my father had payed the check and gave the waiter a lordly bribe
+and once more we sprang into the machine and was on our way. The lease
+said about the results of my fathers grate idear the soonest mended
+in a word it turned out to be a holycost of the first water as after
+we had covered miles and miles of ribald roads we suddenly come to a
+abrupt conclusion vs the side of a stagnant freight train that was
+stone deef to honks. My father set there for nerly ½ a hour reciteing
+the 4 Horses of the Apoplex in a under tone but finley my mother
+mustard up her curage and said affectedly why dont we turn around and
+go back somewheres. I cant spell what my father replid.
+
+At lenth my old man decided that Lyons wouldnt never come to Mahomet if
+we set it out on the same lines all winter so we backed up and turned
+around and retraced 4 miles of shell holes and finley reached our
+objective by way of Detour.
+
+Puling up in front of a garage my father beckoned to a dirty mechanic.
+
+[Illustration: _The Dirty Mechanic_]
+
+How do we get to Syracuse from here arsked my father blushing
+furiously.
+
+Go strate south to Geneva and then east to Syracuse replid the dirty
+mechanic with a loud cough.
+
+Isnt there no short cut arsked my father.
+
+Go strate south to Geneva and then east to Syracuse replid the dirty
+mechanic.
+
+You see daddy we go to Geneva after all I said brokenly but luckly
+for my piece of mind my father dont beleive in corporeal punishment a
+specially in front of Lyons peaple.
+
+Soon we was on a fine road and nothing more hapened till we puled into
+Syracuse at 7 that evening and as for the conversation that changed
+hands in the car between Lyons and Syracuse you could stick it in a day
+message and send it for 30 cents.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER 6
+
+Syracuse to Hudson 183.2
+
+
+Soon we was on Genesee st in Syracuse but soon turned off a blk or 2
+and puled up in front of a hotel that I cant ether spell or pronounce
+besides witch they must of been a convention of cheese sculpters or
+something stoping there and any way it took the old man a hour to
+weedle a parler bed room and bath out of the clerk and put up a cot for
+me.
+
+Wilst we was enjoying a late and futile supper in the hotel dinning
+room a man named Duffy reckonized my father and came to our table and
+arsked him to go to some boxing matchs in Syracuse that night.
+
+Thanks very much said my father with a slite sneeze but you see what
+I have got on my hands besides witch I have been driveing all day and
+half to start out again erly in the morning so I guess not.
+
+Between you and I dear reader my old man has been oposed to pugilisms
+since the 4 of July holycost.
+
+Who is that man arsked my mother when that man had gone away.
+
+Mr. Duffy replid my father shove the ketchup over this way.
+
+Yes I know he is Mr. Duffy but where did you meet him insisted my
+mother quaintly.
+
+In Boston my father replid where would a person meet a man named Duffy.
+
+When we got up the next morning it was 6 o’clock and purring rain but
+we eat a costly brekfus and my father said we would save time if we
+would all walk down to the garage where he had borded the car witch he
+stated was only 2 short blks away from the hotel. Well if it was only
+2 short blks why peaple that lives next door to each other in Syracuse
+are by no means neighbors and when we got there the entire party was
+soping wet and rarther rabid.
+
+We will all catch our death of cold chuckled my mother.
+
+What of it explained my old man with a dirty look at the sky.
+
+Maybe we would better put up the curtains sugested my mother smirking.
+
+Maybe we wouldnt too said my father cordialy.
+
+[Illustration: _Dr. and Mrs. Heywood and the Closed Car._]
+
+Well maybe it will clear up said my mother convulsively.
+
+Maybe it wont too replid my father as he capered into the drivers seat.
+
+My father is charming company wilst driveing on strange roads through a
+purring rain and even when we past through Oneida and he pronounced it
+like it was a biscuit neither myself or my mother ventured to correct
+him but finley we reached Utica when we got to witch we puled up along
+side the kerb and got out and rang ourselfs out to a small extent when
+suddenly a closed car sored past us on the left.
+
+Why that was Mrs. Heywood in that car explained my mother with a
+fierce jesture. By this time it was not raining and we got back into
+the car and presently over took the closed car witch stoped when they
+reckonized us.
+
+And witch boy is this quired Mrs. Heywood when the usual compliments
+had been changed.
+
+This is the third he is named for his father replid my mother forceing
+a smile.
+
+He has his eyes was the comment.
+
+Bill dont you remember Mrs. Heywood said my mother turning on me she
+use to live in Riverside and Dr. Heywood tended to you that time you
+had that slite atack of obesity.
+
+Well yes I replid with a slite accent but did not add how rotten the
+medicine tasted that time and soon we was on Genesee st on our way out
+of Utica.
+
+I wander why they dont name some of their sts Genesee in these eastren
+towns said my father for the sun was now shining but no sooner had we
+reached Herkimer when the clouds bersed with renude vigger and I think
+my old man was about to say we will stop here and have lunch when my
+mother sugested it herself.
+
+No replid my father with a corse jesture we will go on to Little Falls.
+
+It was raining cats and dogs when we arived at Little Falls and my
+father droped a quaint remark.
+
+If Falls is a verb he said the man that baptized this town was a
+practicle joker.
+
+We will half to change our close replid my mother steping into a mud
+peddle in front of the hotel with a informal look.
+
+When we had done so we partook of a meger lunch and as it was now only
+drooling resumed our jurney.
+
+They soked me 5 for that room said my father but what is a extra
+sokeing or 2 on a day like this.
+
+I didnt mean for you to get a room said my mother violently.
+
+Where did you want us to change our close on the register said my old
+man turning pail.
+
+Wasnt it funny that we should happen to see Mrs. Heywood in Utica said
+my mother at lenth.
+
+They live there dont they my father replid.
+
+Why yes my mother replid.
+
+Well then my father replid the real joke would of been if we had of
+happened to see her in Auburn.
+
+[Illustration: _Albany’s Rich Policeman_]
+
+A little wile latter we past a grate many signs reading dine at the
+Big Nose Mountain Inn.
+
+Rollie Zeider never told me they had named a mountain after him crid my
+father and soon we past through Fonda.
+
+Soon we past through Amsterdam and I guess I must of dosed off at lease
+I cant remember anything between there and Schenectady and I must
+apologize to my readers for my laps as I am unable to ether describe
+the scenery or report anything that may of been said between these 2
+points but I recall that as we entered Albany a remark was adrest to me
+for the first time since lunch.
+
+Bill said my mother with a ½ smirk this is Albany the capital of New
+York state.
+
+So this is Albany I thorght to myself.
+
+Who is governor of New York now arsked my mother to my father.
+
+Smith replid my father who seams to know everything.
+
+Queer name said my mother sulkily.
+
+Soon we puled up along side a policeman who my father arsked how do
+we get acrost the river to the New York road and if Albany pays their
+policemans by the word Ill say we were in the presents of a rich man
+and by the time he got through it was dark and still drooling and my
+old man didnt know the road and under those conditions I will not
+repete the conversation that transpired between Albany and Hudson but
+will end my chapter at the city limits of the last named settlemunt.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER 7
+
+Hudson
+
+
+We were turing gaily down the main st of Hudson when a man of 12 years
+capered out from the side walk and hoped on the runing board.
+
+Do you want a good garage he arsked with a dirty look.
+
+Why yes my good man replid my father tenderly but first where is the
+best hotel.
+
+I will take you there said the man.
+
+I must be a grate favorite in Hudson my father wispered at my mother.
+
+Soon folling the mans directions we puled up in front of a hotel but
+when my father went at the register the clerk said I am full tonight.
+
+Where do you get it around here arsked my father tenderly.
+
+We have no rooms replid the senile clerk paying no tension to my old
+mans remark but there is a woman acrost the st that takes loggers.
+
+[Illustration: _The Man of Twelve years_]
+
+Not to excess I hope replid my father but soon we went acrost the st
+and the woman agrede to bord us for the night so myself and mother
+went to our apartmunts wilst my father and the 12 year old besought
+the garage. When we finley got reunited and went back to the hotel for
+supper it was past 8 oclock as a person could of told from the viands.
+Latter in front of our loggings we again met the young man who had
+welcomed us to Hudson and called my father to 1 side.
+
+There is a sailer going to spend the night here he said in a horse
+wisper witch has walked all the way from his home Schenectady and he
+has got to report on his ship in New York tomorrow afternoon and has
+got no money so if he dont get a free ride he will be up vs it.
+
+He can ride with us replid my father with a hiccup if tomorrow is
+anything like today a sailer will not feel out of place in my costly
+moter.
+
+I will tell him replid the man with a corse jesture.
+
+Will you call us at ½ past 5 my mother reqested to our lanlady as we
+entered our Hudson barracks.
+
+I will if I am awake she replid useing her handkerchief to some extent.
+
+Latter we wandered how anybody could help from being awake in that hot
+bed of mones and grones and cat calls and caterwauls and gulish screaks
+of all kinds and tho we had rose erly at Syracuse and had a day of
+retchedness we was all more than ready to get up when she wraped on our
+door long ere day brake.
+
+Where is that sailer that stoped here last night quired my father as we
+was about to make a lordly outburst.
+
+He wouldnt pay his bill and razed hell so I kicked him out replid the
+lanlady in her bear feet.
+
+Without farther adieu my father payed his bill and we walked into the
+dismul st so I will end this chapter by leaveing the fare lanlady
+flaping in the door way in her sredded night gown.
+
+[Illustration: _Our lanlady in Hudson_]
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER 8
+
+Hudson to Yonkers 106.5
+
+
+It was raining a little so my father bad my mother and I stand in
+the st wilst he went to the garage and retained the costly moter. He
+returned ½ a hour latter with the story that the garage had been locked
+and he had to go to the props house and roust him out.
+
+How did you know where he lived quired my mother barshfully.
+
+I used the brains god gave me was my fathers posthumous reply.
+
+Soon we rumpled into Rhinebeck and as it was now day light and the rain
+had siezed we puled up in front of the Beekman arms for brekfus.
+
+It says this is the oldest hotel in America said my mother reading the
+programme.
+
+The eggs tastes all right replid my father with a corse jesture.
+
+What is the next town quired my mother when we again set sale.
+
+Pokippsie was my fathers reply.
+
+Thats where Vassar is said my mother as my old man stiffled a yawn I
+wonder if there is a store there that would have a koop for David.
+
+I doubt it they ever heard of him said my father dryly how much do they
+cost.
+
+Well I dont know.
+
+We entered Pokippsie at lenth and turned to the left up the main st
+and puled up in front of a big store where myself and mother went in
+and purchased a koop for my little brother and a kap for me witch
+only took a ½ hour dureing witch my father lost his temper and when we
+finley immerged he was barking like a dog and giveing the Vassar yell.
+2 men come out of the store with us and tost the koop with the rest of
+the junk in the back seat and away we went.
+
+Doesnt this look cute on him said my mother in regards to my new kap.
+
+What of it replid my father with a grimace and with that we puled into
+Garrison.
+
+Isnt this right acrost the river from West Point said my mother with a
+gastly look.
+
+What of it replid my father tenderly and soon we found ourselfs in
+Peekskill.
+
+This is where that young girl cousin of mine gos to school said my
+father from Philadelphia.
+
+What of it said my mother with a loud cough and presently we stoped and
+bought 15 gals of gas.
+
+I have got a fund of usefull information about every town we come to
+said my father admireingly for instants this is Harmon where they take
+off the steem engines and put on the electric bullgines.
+
+My mother looked at him with ill consealed admiration.
+
+And what do you know about this town she arsked as we frisked into
+Ossining.
+
+Why this is Ossining where they take off the hair and put on the
+stripes replid my father qick as a flarsh and the next place is
+Tarrytown where John D. Rockefeller has a estate.
+
+What is the name of the estate quired my mother breathlessly.
+
+Socony I supose was the sires reply.
+
+With that we honked into Yonkers and up the funny looking main st.
+
+What a funny looking st said my mother and I always thorght it was the
+home of well to do peaple.
+
+Well yes replid my father it is the home of the ruling class at lease
+Bill Klem the umpire and Bill Langford the referee lives here.
+
+I will end my chapter on that one.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER 9
+
+The Bureau of Manhattan
+
+
+Isn’t it about time said my mother as we past Spuyten Duyvil and
+entered the Bureau of Manhattan that we made our plans.
+
+What plans said my father all my plans is all ready made.
+
+Well then you might make me your confident sugested my mother with a
+quaint smirk.
+
+Well then heres the dope uttered my father in a vage tone I am going to
+drop you at the 125 st station where you will only half to wait 2 hours
+and a ½ for the rest of the family as the train from the west is do at
+350 at 125 st in the meen wile I will drive out to Grenitch with Bill
+and see if the house is ready and etc and if the other peaples train
+is on time you can catch the 4 4 and I an Bill will meet you at the
+Grenitch station.
+
+If you have time get a qt of milk for David said my mother with a pail
+look.
+
+What kind of milk arsked my dad.
+
+Oh sour milk my mother screened.
+
+As she was now in a pretty bad temper we will leave her to cool off for
+2 hours and a ½ in the 125 st station and end this chapter.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER 10
+
+N. Y. to Grenitch 500.0
+
+
+The lease said about my and my fathers trip from the Bureau of
+Manhattan to our new home the soonest mended. In some way ether I or
+he got balled up on the grand concorpse and next thing you know we was
+thretning to swoop down on Pittsfield.
+
+Are you lost daddy I arsked tenderly.
+
+Shut up he explained.
+
+At lenth we doubled on our tracks and done much better as we finley hit
+New Rochelle and puled up along side a policeman with falling archs.
+
+[Illustration: _The New Rochelle Policeman_]
+
+What road do I take for Grenitch Conn quired my father with poping eyes.
+
+Take the Boston post replid the policeman.
+
+I have all ready subscribed to one out of town paper said my father and
+steped on the gas so we will leave the flat foot gaping after us like a
+prune fed calf and end this chapter.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER 11
+
+How It Ended
+
+
+True to our promise we were at the station in Grenitch when the costly
+train puled in from 125 st. Myself and father hoped out of the lordly
+moter and helped the bulk of the famly off of the train and I aloud our
+nurse and my 3 brothers to kiss me tho Davids left me rarther moist.
+
+Did you have a hard trip my father arsked to our nurse shyly.
+
+Why no she replid with a slite stager.
+
+She did too said my mother they all acted like little devils.
+
+Did you get Davids milk she said turning on my father.
+
+[Illustration: _Our Nurse_]
+
+Why no does he like milk my father replid with a gastly smirk.
+
+We got lost mudder I said brokenly.
+
+We did not screened my father and accidently cracked me in the shins
+with a stray foot.
+
+To change the subjeck I turned my tensions on my brother Jimmie who is
+nerest my age.
+
+I’ve seen our house Jimmie I said brokenly I got here first.
+
+Yes but I slept all night on a train and you didnt replid Jimmie with a
+dirty look.
+
+Nether did you said my brother John to Jimmie you was awake all night.
+
+Were awake said my mother.
+
+Me and David was awake all night and crid said my brother John.
+
+But I only crid once the whole time said my brother Jimmie.
+
+But I didnt cry at all did I I arsked to my mother.
+
+So she replid with a loud cough Bill was a very very good boy.
+
+So now we will say fare well to the characters in this book.
+
+[Illustration:
+
+  GAS
+  27
+]
+
+
+
+
+  Transcriber’s Notes
+
+  Pg 64 Changed: and the woman agrede to hord us for the night
+             To: and the woman agrede to bord us for the night
+*** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 78483 ***
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+    <meta charset="UTF-8">
+    <title>
+      The young immigrunts | Project Gutenberg
+    </title>
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+    <style>
+
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+
+/* Images */
+
+img {
+    max-width: 100%;
+    height: auto;
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+/* Transcriber's notes */
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+</head>
+<body>
+<div style='text-align:center'>*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 78483 ***</div>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 85%">
+<img src="images/cover.jpg" alt="" data-role="presentation">
+</div>
+
+
+<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop">
+
+<div class="chapter">
+<h1>
+THE YOUNG IMMIGRUNTS
+</h1>
+</div>
+
+
+<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop">
+
+<div class="chapter">
+<figure class="figcenter illowp85" id="p002" style="max-width: 36.375em;">
+  <img class="w100" src="images/p002.jpg" alt="">
+  <figcaption>
+    <em>Art studios</em><br>
+    <em>Main St.</em><br>
+    <br>
+    <em>Stiegleman Bros.</em>
+    <br>
+    <em><span class="fs150">The Author—“Bill”</span></em>
+  </figcaption>
+</figure>
+</div>
+
+
+<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop">
+
+<div class="chapter">
+<p class="center no-indent wsp">
+  <span class="fs200">The<br>
+  Young Immigrunts</span><br>
+  <br>
+  <br>
+  <em>By</em><br>
+  <span class="fs120">RING W. LARDNER, <span class="smcap">Jr.</span></span><br>
+  <br>
+  <br>
+  <span class="fs80">WITH A PREFACE BY<br>
+  THE FATHER</span><br>
+  <br>
+  <br>
+  <em>Portraits by Gaar Williams</em><br>
+  <br>
+  <br>
+  INDIANAPOLIS<br>
+  THE BOBBS-MERRILL COMPANY<br>
+  PUBLISHERS
+</p>
+</div>
+
+<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop">
+
+<div class="chapter">
+<p class="center no-indent fs80">
+  <span class="smcap">Copyright 1920</span><br>
+  <span class="smcap">The Curtis Publishing Company</span><br></p>
+
+  <hr class="r5">
+
+<p class="center no-indent fs80">
+  <span class="smcap">Copyright 1920</span><br>
+  <span class="smcap">The Bobbs-Merrill Company</span><br>
+  <br>
+  <br>
+  <em>Printed in the United States of America</em><br>
+  <br>
+  <br>
+  PRESS OF<br>
+  BRAUNWORTH &amp; CO.<br>
+  BOOK MANUFACTURERS<br>
+  BROOKLYN, N. Y.
+</p>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_v">[Pg v]</span></p>
+</div>
+
+
+<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop">
+<div class="chapter">
+  <h2 class="nobreak" id="CONTENTS">
+    CONTENTS
+  </h2>
+</div>
+
+<table class="autotable lh">
+<tr>
+<td class="tdl fs80" colspan="2">
+CHAPTER
+</td>
+<td class="tdr fs80">
+PAGE
+</td>
+</tr>
+
+<tr>
+<td class="tdr">
+</td>
+<td class="tdl">
+<span class="smcap">Preface by the Father</span>
+</td>
+<td class="tdr">
+<a href="#Page_ix">ix</a>
+</td>
+</tr>
+
+<tr>
+<td class="tdr">
+1
+</td>
+<td class="tdl">
+<span class="smcap">My Parents</span>
+</td>
+<td class="tdr">
+<a href="#Page_13">13</a>
+</td>
+</tr>
+
+<tr>
+<td class="tdr">
+2
+</td>
+<td class="tdl">
+<span class="smcap">Starting Gaily</span>
+</td>
+<td class="tdr">
+<a href="#Page_19">19</a>
+</td>
+</tr>
+
+<tr>
+<td class="tdr">
+3
+</td>
+<td class="tdl">
+<span class="smcap">Erie Lake</span>
+</td>
+<td class="tdr">
+<a href="#Page_29">29</a>
+</td>
+</tr>
+
+<tr>
+<td class="tdr">
+4
+</td>
+<td class="tdl">
+<span class="smcap">Buffalo to Rochester 76.4</span>
+</td>
+<td class="tdr">
+<a href="#Page_39">39</a>
+</td>
+</tr>
+
+<tr>
+<td class="tdr">
+5
+</td>
+<td class="tdl">
+<span class="smcap">My Father’s Idear</span>
+</td>
+<td class="tdr">
+<a href="#Page_44">44</a>
+</td>
+</tr>
+
+<tr>
+<td class="tdr">
+6
+</td>
+<td class="tdl">
+<span class="smcap">Syracuse to Hudson 183.2</span>
+</td>
+<td class="tdr">
+<a href="#Page_50">50</a>
+</td>
+</tr>
+
+<tr>
+<td class="tdr">
+7
+</td>
+<td class="tdl">
+<span class="smcap">Hudson</span>
+</td>
+<td class="tdr">
+<a href="#Page_63">63</a>
+</td>
+</tr>
+
+<tr>
+<td class="tdr">
+8
+</td>
+<td class="tdl">
+<span class="smcap">Hudson to Yonkers 106.5</span>
+</td>
+<td class="tdr">
+<a href="#Page_71">71</a>
+</td>
+</tr>
+
+<tr>
+<td class="tdr">
+9
+</td>
+<td class="tdl">
+<span class="smcap">The Bureau of Manhattan</span>
+</td>
+<td class="tdr">
+<a href="#Page_76">76</a>
+</td>
+</tr>
+
+<tr>
+<td class="tdr">
+10
+</td>
+<td class="tdl">
+<span class="smcap">N. Y. to Grenitch 500.0</span>
+</td>
+<td class="tdr">
+<a href="#Page_78">78</a>
+</td>
+</tr>
+
+<tr>
+<td class="tdr">
+11
+</td>
+<td class="tdl">
+<span class="smcap">How It Ended</span>
+</td>
+<td class="tdr">
+<a href="#Page_82">82</a>
+</td>
+</tr>
+</table>
+
+
+<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_vi">[Pg vi]</span></p>
+
+<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop">
+<div class="chapter">
+<figure class="figcenter illowp35" id="p006" style="max-width: 44.875em;">
+  <img class="w100" src="images/p006.jpg" alt="">
+  <figcaption>
+    9¼<br>
+    MILES<br>
+    <br>
+    PIANOS<br>
+    <br>
+    GENESEE<br>
+    STREET
+  </figcaption>
+</figure>
+</div>
+
+
+<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop">
+<div class="chapter">
+
+<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_vii">[Pg vii]</span></p>
+
+
+  <h2 class="nobreak" id="LIST_OF_ILLUSTRATIONS">
+    LIST OF ILLUSTRATIONS
+  </h2>
+</div>
+
+<table class="autotable lh">
+<tr>
+<td class="tdl">
+</td>
+<td class="tdr fs80">
+PAGE
+</td>
+</tr>
+<tr>
+<td class="tdl">
+The Author
+</td>
+<td class="tdr">
+<em><a href="#p002">Frontispiece</a></em>
+</td>
+</tr>
+<tr>
+<td class="tdl">
+The Rest of the Family
+</td>
+<td class="tdr">
+<a href="#p015">15</a>
+</td>
+</tr>
+<tr>
+<td class="tdl">
+Granmother at Goshen
+</td>
+<td class="tdr">
+<a href="#p021">21</a>
+</td>
+</tr>
+<tr>
+<td class="tdl">
+Uncle Bill
+</td>
+<td class="tdr">
+<a href="#p025">25</a>
+</td>
+</tr>
+<tr>
+<td class="tdl">
+Uncle and Ant in Detroit
+</td>
+<td class="tdr">
+<a href="#p031">31</a>
+</td>
+</tr>
+<tr>
+<td class="tdl">
+The Bride and Glum
+</td>
+<td class="tdr">
+<a href="#p035">35</a>
+</td>
+</tr>
+<tr>
+<td class="tdl">
+The Man with the Adams Apple
+</td>
+<td class="tdr">
+<a href="#p041">41</a>
+</td>
+</tr>
+<tr>
+<td class="tdl">
+The Dirty Mechanic
+</td>
+<td class="tdr">
+<a href="#p047">47</a>
+</td>
+</tr>
+<tr>
+<td class="tdl">
+Dr. and Mrs. Heywood
+</td>
+<td class="tdr">
+<a href="#p053">53</a>
+</td>
+</tr>
+<tr>
+<td class="tdl">
+The Policeman at Albany
+</td>
+<td class="tdr">
+<a href="#p059">59</a>
+</td>
+</tr>
+<tr>
+<td class="tdl">
+A Man of 12 Years
+</td>
+<td class="tdr">
+<a href="#p065">65</a>
+</td>
+</tr>
+<tr>
+<td class="tdl">
+The Lanlady
+</td>
+<td class="tdr">
+<a href="#p069">69</a>
+</td>
+</tr>
+<tr>
+<td class="tdl">
+The Policeman at New Rochelle
+</td>
+<td class="tdr">
+<a href="#p079">79</a>
+</td>
+</tr>
+<tr>
+<td class="tdl">
+Our nurse
+</td>
+<td class="tdr">
+<a href="#p083">83</a>
+</td>
+</tr>
+</table>
+
+
+<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_viii">[Pg viii]</span></p>
+
+<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop">
+<div class="chapter">
+<figure class="figcenter illowp35" id="p008" style="max-width: 32.0em;">
+  <img class="w100" src="images/p008.jpg" alt="">
+  <figcaption>
+    CITY LIMITS<br>
+    SPEED<br>
+    NINE (9) MILES
+  </figcaption>
+</figure>
+</div>
+
+
+<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop">
+<div class="chapter">
+
+<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_ix">[Pg ix]</span></p>
+
+
+  <h2 class="nobreak" id="PREFACE">
+    PREFACE
+  </h2>
+</div>
+
+<p class="drop-cap"><span class="upper-case">The</span> person whose name is signed
+to this novel was born on the
+nineteenth day of August, 1915, and
+was therefore four years and three
+months old when the manuscript was
+found, late in November, 1919. The
+narrative is substantially true, with
+the following exceptions:</p>
+
+<blockquote>
+<p>1. “My Father,” the leading character
+in the work, is depicted as a
+man of short temper, whereas the
+person from whom the character
+was drawn is in reality as pleasant
+a fellow as one would care to meet
+and seldom has a cross word for
+any one, let alone women and children.</p>
+
+<p>2. The witty speeches accredited
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_x">[Pg x]</span>to “My Father” have, possibly owing
+to the limitations of a child’s memory,
+been so garbled and twisted
+that they do not look half so good
+in print as they sounded in the open
+air.</p>
+
+<p>3. More stops for gas were made
+than are mentioned in the story.</p>
+</blockquote>
+
+<p>As the original manuscript was
+written on a typewriter with a rather
+frayed ribbon, and as certain words
+were marked out and others hand-written
+in, I have taken the liberty
+of copying the entire work with a
+fresh ribbon and the inclusion of the
+changes which the author indicated
+in pencil in the first draft. Otherwise
+the story is presented to the
+reader exactly as it was first set
+down.</p>
+
+<p class="right">
+  <span class="smcap">The Father.</span>
+</p>
+
+
+<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop">
+<div class="chapter">
+
+<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_11">[Pg 11]</span></p>
+
+
+  <p class="center no-indent fs120 wsp">
+    THE YOUNG IMMIGRUNTS
+  </p>
+</div>
+
+<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop">
+<div class="chapter">
+<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_12">[Pg 12]</span></p>
+    <br>
+    <figure class="figcenter illowp85" id="p012" style="max-width: 62.5em;">
+  <img class="w100" src="images/p012.jpg" alt="">
+  <figcaption>
+    FREE AIR
+    <br>
+    GAS
+  </figcaption>
+</figure>
+</div>
+
+
+<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_13">[Pg 13]</span></p>
+
+<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop">
+<div class="chapter">
+  <p class="center no-indent fs150 wsp">
+    The Young Immigrunts
+  </p>
+</div>
+
+
+  <h2 class="nobreak" id="CHAPTER_1">
+    CHAPTER 1
+    <br>
+    <span class="fs80">My Parents</span>
+  </h2>
+
+<p class="drop-cap"><span class="upper-case">My</span> parents are both married
+and ½ of them are very good
+looking. The balance is tall and
+skiny and has a swarty complexion
+with moles but you hardily ever
+notice them on account of your gaze
+being rapped up in his feet which
+would be funny if brevvity wasnt the
+soul of wit. Everybody says I have
+his eyes and I am glad it didnt half
+to be something else tho Rollie Zeider
+the ball player calls him owl eyes
+for a nick name but if I was Rollie
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_14">[Pg 14]</span>Zeider and his nose I wouldnt pick
+on somebodys else features.</p>
+
+<p>He wears pretty shirts which he
+bought off of another old ball player
+Artie Hofman to attrack tension off
+of his feet and must of payed a big
+price for them I heard my ant tell
+my uncle when they thorght I was
+a sleep down to the lake tho I guess
+he pays even more for his shoes if
+they sell them by the frunt foot.</p>
+
+<p>I was born in a hospittle in Chicago
+4 years ago and liked it very
+much and had no idear we were going
+to move till 1 day last summer I
+heard my mother arsk our nurse did
+she think she could get along O. K.
+with myself and 3 brothers John
+Jimmie and David for 10 days wilst
+she and my old man went east to
+look for a costly home.</p>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_15">[Pg 15]</span></p>
+<br>
+
+<figure class="figcenter illowp85" id="p015" style="max-width: 40.3125em;">
+  <img class="w100" src="images/p015.jpg" alt="">
+  <figcaption>
+    <em>The Rest of the Family</em>
+  </figcaption>
+</figure>
+<br>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_16"></a><a id="Page_17"></a>[Pg 17]</span></p>
+
+<p>Well yes said our nurse barshfully.</p>
+
+<p>I may as well exclaim to the reader
+that John is 7 and Jimmie is 5 and I
+am 4 and David is almost nothing
+as yet you might say and tho I was
+named for my father they call me
+Bill thank God.</p>
+
+<p>The conversation amungst my
+mother and our nurse took place
+right after my father came back
+from Toledo where Jack Dempsey
+knocked Jessie Willard for a gool
+tho my father liked the big fellow
+and bet on him.</p>
+
+<p>David was in his bath at the time
+and my mother and our nurse and
+myself and 2 elder brothers was
+standing around admireing him tho
+I notice that when the rest of the
+family takes their bath they dont
+make open house of the occassion.</p>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_18">[Pg 18]</span></p>
+
+<p>Well my parents went east and
+dureing their absents myself and
+brothers razed hell with David on
+the night shift but when they come
+back my mother said to the nurse
+were they good boys.</p>
+
+<p>Fine replid our nurse lamely and
+where are you going to live.</p>
+
+<p>Connecticut said my mother.</p>
+
+<p>Our nurse forced a tired smile.</p>
+
+<p>Here we will leave my parents to
+unpack and end this chapter.</p>
+
+
+<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop">
+<div class="chapter">
+
+<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_19">[Pg 19]</span></p>
+
+
+  <h2 class="nobreak" id="CHAPTER_2">
+    CHAPTER 2
+    <br>
+    <span class="fs80">Starting Gaily</span>
+  </h2>
+</div>
+
+<p class="drop-cap"><span class="upper-case">We</span> spent the rest of the summer
+on my granmother in Indiana
+and my father finley went to the
+worst series to write it up as he has
+followed sports of all sorts for years
+and is a expert so he bet on the wite
+sox and when he come home he acted
+rarther cross.</p>
+
+<p>Well said my mother simperingly
+I suppose we can start east now.</p>
+
+<p>We will start east when we get
+good and ready said my father with
+a lordly sneeze.</p>
+
+<p>The next thing was how was we
+going to make the trip as my father
+had boughten a new car that the
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_20">[Pg 20]</span>cheepest way to get it there was
+drive it besides carrying a grate
+deal of our costly bagage but if all
+of us went in it they would be no
+room left for our costly bagage and
+besides 2 of my brothers always acts
+like devils incarnite when they get
+in a car so my mother said to our
+nurse.</p>
+
+<p>If you think you can manage the
+2 older boys and David on the train
+myself and husband will take Bill in
+the car said my mother to our nurse.</p>
+
+<p>Fine replid our nurse with a gastly
+look witch my mother did not see.</p>
+<br>
+
+<figure class="figcenter illowp85" id="p021" style="max-width: 41.4375em;">
+  <img class="w100" src="images/p021.jpg" alt="">
+  <figcaption>
+    <em><span class="fs150">Grandmother at Goshen</span></em>
+  </figcaption>
+</figure>
+<br>
+
+<p>Myself and parents left Goshen
+Indiana on a fine Monday morning
+leaveing our nurse and brothers to
+come latter in the weak on the railway.
+Our plans was to reach Detroit
+that night and stop with my uncle
+<span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_21"></a><a id="Page_22"></a><a id="Page_23"></a>[Pg 23]</span>and ant and the next evening take
+the boat to Buffalo and thence to
+Connecticut by motor so the first
+town we past through was Middlebury.</p>
+
+<p>Elmer Flick the old ball player use
+to live here said my father modestly.</p>
+
+<p>My mother forced a smile and soon
+we were acrost the Michigan line
+and my mother made the remark
+that she was thirsty.</p>
+
+<p>We will stop at Coldwater for
+lunch said my father with a strate
+face as he pulls most of his lines
+without changeing expressions.</p>
+
+<p>Sure enough we puled up to 1 side
+of the road just after leaveing Coldwater
+and had our costly viands of
+frid chicken and doughnuts and milk
+fernished by my grate ant and of
+witch I partook freely.</p>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_24">[Pg 24]</span></p>
+
+<p>We will stop at Ypsilanti for supper
+said my father in calm tones that
+is where they have the state normal
+school.</p>
+
+<p>I was glad to hear this and hoped
+we would get there before dark as
+I had always wanted to come in contack
+with normal peaple and see
+what they are like and just at dusk
+we entered a large size town and
+drove past a large size football field.</p>
+
+<p>Heavens said my mother this must
+be a abnormal school to have such a
+large football field.</p>
+
+<p>My father wore a qeer look.</p>
+
+<p>This is not Ypsilanti this is Ann
+Arbor he crid.</p>
+
+<p>But I thorght you said we would
+go south of Ann Arbor and direct to
+Ypsilanti said my mother with a
+smirk.</p>
+<br>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_25">[Pg 25]</span></p>
+
+<figure class="figcenter illowp85" id="p025" style="max-width: 41.3125em;">
+  <img class="w100" src="images/p025.jpg" alt="">
+  <figcaption>
+    <blockquote>
+    GLEE CLUB<br>
+    </blockquote>
+
+    <em><span class="fs150">Uncle Bill</span></em>
+  </figcaption>
+</figure>
+<br>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_26"></a><a id="Page_27"></a>[Pg 27]</span></p>
+
+<p>I did say that but I thorght I would
+surprise you by comeing into Ann
+Arbor replid my father with a corse
+jesture.</p>
+
+<p>Personly I think the suprise was
+unanimous.</p>
+
+<p>Well now we are here said my
+mother we might as well look up Bill.</p>
+
+<p>Bill is my uncle Bill so we stoped
+at the Alfa Delt house and got him
+and took him down to the hotel for
+supper and my old man called up Mr.
+Yost the football coach of the Michigan
+football team and he come down
+and visited with us.</p>
+
+<p>What kind of a team have you got
+coach said my father lamely.</p>
+
+<p>I have got a determined team replid
+Mr. Yost they are determined to
+not play football.</p>
+
+<p>At this junction my unlucky mother
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_28">[Pg 28]</span>changed the subjeck to the league
+of nations and it was 10 o’clock before
+Mr. Yost come to a semi colon
+so we could resume our jurney and
+by the time we past through Ypsilanti
+the peaple was not only subnormal
+but unconsius. It was nerly
+midnight when we puled up in frunt
+of my ants and uncles house in Detroit
+that had been seting up since 7
+expecting us.</p>
+
+<p>Were sorry to be so late said my
+mother bruskly.</p>
+
+<p>Were awfully glad you could come
+at all replid my ant with a ill consealed
+yawn.</p>
+
+<p>We will now leave my relitives to
+get some sleep and end this chapter.</p>
+
+
+<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop">
+<div class="chapter">
+
+<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_29">[Pg 29]</span></p>
+
+
+  <h2 class="nobreak" id="CHAPTER_3">
+    CHAPTER 3
+    <br>
+    <span class="fs80">Erie Lake</span>
+  </h2>
+</div>
+
+<p class="drop-cap"><span class="upper-case">The</span> boat leaves Detroit every
+afternoon at 5 oclock and reachs
+Buffalo the next morning at 9 tho I
+would better exclaim to my readers
+that when it is 9 oclock in Buffalo
+it is only 8 oclock in Goshen for instants
+as Buffalo peaple are qeer.</p>
+
+<p>Well said my father the next
+morning at brekfus I wander what
+time we half to get the car on the
+board of the boat.</p>
+
+<p>I will find out down town and call
+up and let you know replid my uncle
+who is a engineer and digs soors or
+something.</p>
+
+<p>Sure enough he called up dureing
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_30">[Pg 30]</span>the fornoon and said the car must
+be on the board of the boat at 3
+oclock so my father left the house
+at 2 oclock and drove down to the
+worf tho he had never drove a car
+in Detroit before but has nerves of
+steal. Latter my uncle come out to
+his home and took myself and
+mother and ant down to the worf
+where my old man was waiting for
+us haveing put the car on the board.</p>
+
+<p>What have you been doing ever
+since 3 oclock arsked my mother as
+it was now nerly 5.</p>
+
+<p>Haveing a high ball my father
+replid.</p>
+
+<p>I thorght Detroit was dry said
+my mother shyly.</p>
+<br>
+
+<figure class="figcenter illowp85" id="p031" style="max-width: 41.5em;">
+  <img class="w100" src="images/p031.jpg" alt="">
+  <figcaption>
+    <em><span class="fs150">Uncle and Ant at Detroit</span></em>
+  </figcaption>
+</figure>
+<br>
+
+<p>Did you said my father with a rye
+smile and as it was now nerly time
+for the boat to leave we said good
+<span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_31"></a><a id="Page_32"></a><a id="Page_33"></a>[Pg 33]</span>by to my uncle and ant and went on
+the boat. A messenger took our
+costly bagage and put it away wilst
+myself and parents went out on the
+porch and set looking at the peaple
+on the worf. Suddenly they was a
+grate hub bub on the worf and a
+young man and lady started up the
+gangs plank wilst a big crowd
+throwed rice and old shoes at them
+and made a up roar.</p>
+
+<p>Bride and glum going to Niagara
+Falls said my father who is well
+travelled and seams to know everything.</p>
+
+<p>Instantly the boat give a blarst on
+the wistle and I started with suprise.</p>
+
+<p>Did that scare you Bill said my
+father and seamed to enjoy it and I
+supose he would of laughed out right
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_34">[Pg 34]</span>had I fell overboard and been
+drowned in the narsty river water.</p>
+
+<p>Soon we were steeming up the
+river on the city of Detroit 3.</p>
+
+<p>That is Canada over there is it not
+said my mother.</p>
+
+<p>What did you think it was the
+Austrian Tyrol replid my father
+explodeing a cough. Dureing our
+progress up the river I noticed sevral
+funny things flotting in the water
+with lanterns hanging on them and
+was wandering what they could be
+when my mother said they seam to
+have plenty of boys.</p>
+
+<p>They have got nothing on us replid
+my father quick as a flarsh.</p>
+
+<p>A little latter who should come out
+on the porch and set themselfs ner
+us but the bride and glum.</p>
+<br>
+
+<figure class="figcenter illowp85" id="p035" style="max-width: 41.0625em;">
+  <img class="w100" src="images/p035.jpg" alt="">
+  <figcaption>
+    <em><span class="fs150">The Bride and Glum</span></em>
+  </figcaption>
+</figure>
+<br>
+
+<p>Oh I said to myself I hope they
+<span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_35"></a><a id="Page_36"></a><a id="Page_37"></a>[Pg 37]</span>will talk so as I can hear them as I
+have always wandered what newlyweds
+talk about on their way to
+Niagara Falls and soon my wishs
+was realized.</p>
+
+<p>Some night said the young glum
+are you warm enough.</p>
+
+<p>I am perfectly comfertible replid
+the fare bride tho her looks belid her
+words what time do we arive in
+Buffalo.</p>
+
+<p>9 oclock said the lordly glum are
+you warm enough.</p>
+
+<p>I am perfectly comfertible replid
+the fare bride what time do we arive
+in Buffalo.</p>
+
+<p>9 oclock said the lordly glum I am
+afrade it is too cold for you out here.</p>
+
+<p>Well maybe it is replid the fare
+bride and without farther adieu they
+went in the spacius parlers.</p>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_38">[Pg 38]</span></p>
+
+<p>I wander will he be arsking her 8
+years from now is she warm enough
+said my mother with a faint grimace.</p>
+
+<p>The weather may change before
+then replid my father.</p>
+
+<p>Are you warm enough said my
+father after a slite pause.</p>
+
+<p>No was my mothers catchy reply.</p>
+
+<p>Well said my father we arive in
+Buffalo at 9 oclock and with that we
+all went inside as it was now pitch
+dark and had our supper and retired
+and when we rose the next morning
+and drest and had brekfus we puled
+up to the worf in Buffalo and it was
+9 oclock so I will leave the city of
+Detroit 3 tide to the worf and end
+this chapter.</p>
+
+
+<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop">
+<div class="chapter">
+
+<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_39">[Pg 39]</span></p>
+
+
+  <h2 class="nobreak" id="CHAPTER_4">
+    CHAPTER 4
+    <br>
+    <span class="fs80">Buffalo to Rochester 76.4</span>
+  </h2>
+</div>
+
+<p class="drop-cap"><span class="upper-case">As</span> we was leaveing the boat who
+should I see right along side of
+us but the fare bride and the lordly
+glum.</p>
+
+<p>We are right on the dot said the
+glum looking at his costly watch it
+is just 9 oclock and so they past out
+of my life.</p>
+
+<p>We had to wait qite a wile wilst
+the old man dug up his bill of loading
+and got the costly moter.</p>
+
+<p>We will half to get some gas he
+said I wonder where they is a garage.</p>
+
+<p>No sooner had the words fell from
+his lips when a man with a flagrant
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_40">[Pg 40]</span>Adams apple handed him a card with
+the name of a garage on it.</p>
+
+<p>Go up Genesee st 5 blks and turn
+to the left or something said the
+man with the apple.</p>
+
+<p>Soon we reached the garage and
+had the gas tank filled with gas it
+was 27 cents in Buffalo and soon we
+was on our way to Rochester. Well
+these are certainly grate roads said
+my father barshfully.</p>
+
+<p>They have lots better roads in the
+east than out west replid my mother
+with a knowing wink.</p>
+
+<p>The roads all through the east are
+better than out west remarked my
+father at lenth.</p>
+
+<p>These are wonderfull replid my
+mother smuggleing me vs her arm.</p>
+<br>
+
+<figure class="figcenter illowp85" id="p041" style="max-width: 41.625em;">
+  <img class="w100" src="images/p041.jpg" alt="">
+  <figcaption>
+    <em><span class="fs150">The Man with the
+    Adams Apple</span></em>
+  </figcaption>
+</figure>
+<br>
+
+<p>The time past quickly with my parents
+in so jocular a mood and all
+<span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_41"></a><a id="Page_42"></a><a id="Page_43"></a>[Pg 43]</span>most before I knew it we was on the
+outer skirts of Batavia.</p>
+
+<p>What town is this quired my
+mother in a tolerant voice.</p>
+
+<p>Batavia husked my father sloughing
+down to 15 miles per hour.</p>
+
+<p>Well maybe we would better stop
+and have lunch here said my mother
+coyly.</p>
+
+<p>We will have lunch in Rochester
+replid my father with a loud cough.</p>
+
+<p>My mother forced a smile and it
+was about ½ past 12 when we
+arived in Rochester and soon we was
+on Genesee st and finley stoped in
+front of a elegant hotel and shared
+a costly lunch.</p>
+
+
+<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop">
+<div class="chapter">
+
+<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_44">[Pg 44]</span></p>
+
+
+  <h2 class="nobreak" id="CHAPTER_5">
+    CHAPTER 5
+    <br>
+    <span class="fs80">My Father’s Idear</span>
+  </h2>
+</div>
+
+<p class="drop-cap"><span class="upper-case">Wilst</span> participateing in the
+lordly viands my father halled
+out his map and give it the up and
+down.</p>
+
+<p>Look at here he said at lenth they
+seams to be a choice of 2 main roads
+between here and Syracuse but 1 of
+them gos way up north to Oswego
+wilst the other gos way south to
+Geneva where as Syracuse is strate
+east from here you might say so it
+looks to me like we would save both
+millage and time if we was to drive
+strate east through Lyons the way
+the railway gos.</p>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_45">[Pg 45]</span></p>
+
+<p>Well I dont want to ride on the ties
+said my mother with a loud cough.</p>
+
+<p>Well you dont half to because they
+seams to be a little road that gos
+strate through replid my father removeing
+a flys cadaver from the
+costly farina.</p>
+
+<p>Well you would better stick to the
+main roads said my mother tacklessly.</p>
+
+<p>Well you would better stick to
+your own business replid my father
+with a pungent glance.</p>
+
+<p>Soon my father had payed the
+check and gave the waiter a lordly
+bribe and once more we sprang into
+the machine and was on our way.
+The lease said about the results of
+my fathers grate idear the soonest
+mended in a word it turned out to
+be a holycost of the first water as
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_46">[Pg 46]</span>after we had covered miles and miles
+of ribald roads we suddenly come to
+a abrupt conclusion vs the side of a
+stagnant freight train that was
+stone deef to honks. My father set
+there for nerly ½ a hour reciteing the
+4 Horses of the Apoplex in a under
+tone but finley my mother mustard
+up her curage and said affectedly
+why dont we turn around and go
+back somewheres. I cant spell what
+my father replid.</p>
+
+<p>At lenth my old man decided that
+Lyons wouldnt never come to Mahomet
+if we set it out on the same
+lines all winter so we backed up and
+turned around and retraced 4 miles
+of shell holes and finley reached our
+objective by way of Detour.</p>
+
+<p>Puling up in front of a garage my
+father beckoned to a dirty mechanic.</p>
+<br>
+
+<figure class="figcenter illowp85" id="p047" style="max-width: 40.5em;">
+  <img class="w100" src="images/p047.jpg" alt="">
+  <figcaption>
+    <em><span class="fs150">The Dirty Mechanic</span></em>
+  </figcaption>
+</figure>
+<br>
+
+<p>How do we get to Syracuse from
+<span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_47"></a><a id="Page_48"></a><a id="Page_49"></a>[Pg 49]</span>here arsked my father blushing furiously.</p>
+
+<p>Go strate south to Geneva and
+then east to Syracuse replid the
+dirty mechanic with a loud cough.</p>
+
+<p>Isnt there no short cut arsked my
+father.</p>
+
+<p>Go strate south to Geneva and
+then east to Syracuse replid the dirty
+mechanic.</p>
+
+<p>You see daddy we go to Geneva
+after all I said brokenly but luckly
+for my piece of mind my father dont
+beleive in corporeal punishment a
+specially in front of Lyons peaple.</p>
+
+<p>Soon we was on a fine road and
+nothing more hapened till we puled
+into Syracuse at 7 that evening and
+as for the conversation that changed
+hands in the car between Lyons and
+Syracuse you could stick it in a day
+message and send it for 30 cents.</p>
+
+
+<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop">
+<div class="chapter">
+
+<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_50">[Pg 50]</span></p>
+
+
+  <h2 class="nobreak" id="CHAPTER_6">
+    CHAPTER 6
+    <br>
+    <span class="fs80">Syracuse to Hudson 183.2</span>
+  </h2>
+</div>
+
+<p class="drop-cap"><span class="upper-case">Soon</span> we was on Genesee st in
+Syracuse but soon turned off a
+blk or 2 and puled up in front of a
+hotel that I cant ether spell or pronounce
+besides witch they must of
+been a convention of cheese sculpters
+or something stoping there and any
+way it took the old man a hour to
+weedle a parler bed room and bath
+out of the clerk and put up a cot
+for me.</p>
+
+<p>Wilst we was enjoying a late and
+futile supper in the hotel dinning
+room a man named Duffy reckonized
+my father and came to our table and
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_51">[Pg 51]</span>arsked him to go to some boxing
+matchs in Syracuse that night.</p>
+
+<p>Thanks very much said my father
+with a slite sneeze but you see what
+I have got on my hands besides witch
+I have been driveing all day and half
+to start out again erly in the morning
+so I guess not.</p>
+
+<p>Between you and I dear reader
+my old man has been oposed to pugilisms
+since the 4 of July holycost.</p>
+
+<p>Who is that man arsked my mother
+when that man had gone away.</p>
+
+<p>Mr. Duffy replid my father shove
+the ketchup over this way.</p>
+
+<p>Yes I know he is Mr. Duffy but
+where did you meet him insisted my
+mother quaintly.</p>
+
+<p>In Boston my father replid where
+would a person meet a man named
+Duffy.</p>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_52">[Pg 52]</span></p>
+
+<p>When we got up the next morning
+it was 6 o’clock and purring rain but
+we eat a costly brekfus and my
+father said we would save time if we
+would all walk down to the garage
+where he had borded the car witch
+he stated was only 2 short blks away
+from the hotel. Well if it was only
+2 short blks why peaple that lives
+next door to each other in Syracuse
+are by no means neighbors and when
+we got there the entire party was
+soping wet and rarther rabid.</p>
+
+<p>We will all catch our death of cold
+chuckled my mother.</p>
+
+<p>What of it explained my old man
+with a dirty look at the sky.</p>
+
+<p>Maybe we would better put up the
+curtains sugested my mother smirking.</p>
+
+<p>Maybe we wouldnt too said my
+father cordialy.</p>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_53">[Pg 53]</span></p>
+<br>
+
+<figure class="figcenter illowp85" id="p053" style="max-width: 41.0625em;">
+  <img class="w100" src="images/p053.jpg" alt="">
+  <figcaption>
+    <em><span class="fs150">Dr. and Mrs. Heywood
+    and the Closed Car.</span></em>
+  </figcaption>
+</figure>
+<br>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_54"></a><a id="Page_55"></a>[Pg 55]</span></p>
+
+<p>Well maybe it will clear up said
+my mother convulsively.</p>
+
+<p>Maybe it wont too replid my
+father as he capered into the drivers
+seat.</p>
+
+<p>My father is charming company
+wilst driveing on strange roads
+through a purring rain and even
+when we past through Oneida and
+he pronounced it like it was a biscuit
+neither myself or my mother ventured
+to correct him but finley we
+reached Utica when we got to witch
+we puled up along side the kerb and
+got out and rang ourselfs out to a
+small extent when suddenly a closed
+car sored past us on the left.</p>
+
+<p>Why that was Mrs. Heywood in
+that car explained my mother with
+a fierce jesture. By this time it was
+not raining and we got back into the
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_56">[Pg 56]</span>car and presently over took the
+closed car witch stoped when they
+reckonized us.</p>
+
+<p>And witch boy is this quired Mrs.
+Heywood when the usual compliments
+had been changed.</p>
+
+<p>This is the third he is named for
+his father replid my mother forceing
+a smile.</p>
+
+<p>He has his eyes was the comment.</p>
+
+<p>Bill dont you remember Mrs. Heywood
+said my mother turning on me
+she use to live in Riverside and Dr.
+Heywood tended to you that time
+you had that slite atack of obesity.</p>
+
+<p>Well yes I replid with a slite accent
+but did not add how rotten the
+medicine tasted that time and soon
+we was on Genesee st on our way
+out of Utica.</p>
+
+<p>I wander why they dont name
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_57">[Pg 57]</span>some of their sts Genesee in these
+eastren towns said my father for the
+sun was now shining but no sooner
+had we reached Herkimer when the
+clouds bersed with renude vigger
+and I think my old man was about
+to say we will stop here and have
+lunch when my mother sugested it
+herself.</p>
+
+<p>No replid my father with a corse
+jesture we will go on to Little Falls.</p>
+
+<p>It was raining cats and dogs when
+we arived at Little Falls and my
+father droped a quaint remark.</p>
+
+<p>If Falls is a verb he said the man
+that baptized this town was a practicle
+joker.</p>
+
+<p>We will half to change our close
+replid my mother steping into a mud
+peddle in front of the hotel with a
+informal look.</p>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_58">[Pg 58]</span></p>
+
+<p>When we had done so we partook
+of a meger lunch and as it was now
+only drooling resumed our jurney.</p>
+
+<p>They soked me 5 for that room
+said my father but what is a extra
+sokeing or 2 on a day like this.</p>
+
+<p>I didnt mean for you to get a room
+said my mother violently.</p>
+
+<p>Where did you want us to change
+our close on the register said my old
+man turning pail.</p>
+
+<p>Wasnt it funny that we should
+happen to see Mrs. Heywood in
+Utica said my mother at lenth.</p>
+
+<p>They live there dont they my
+father replid.</p>
+
+<p>Why yes my mother replid.</p>
+
+<p>Well then my father replid the
+real joke would of been if we had of
+happened to see her in Auburn.</p>
+<br>
+
+<figure class="figcenter illowp85" id="p059" style="max-width: 42.5625em;">
+  <img class="w100" src="images/p059.jpg" alt="">
+  <figcaption>
+    <em><span class="fs150">Albany’s Rich Policeman</span></em>
+  </figcaption>
+</figure>
+<br>
+
+<p>A little wile latter we past a grate
+<span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_59"></a><a id="Page_60"></a><a id="Page_61"></a>[Pg 61]</span>many signs reading dine at the Big
+Nose Mountain Inn.</p>
+
+<p>Rollie Zeider never told me they
+had named a mountain after him crid
+my father and soon we past through
+Fonda.</p>
+
+<p>Soon we past through Amsterdam
+and I guess I must of dosed off at
+lease I cant remember anything between
+there and Schenectady and I
+must apologize to my readers for
+my laps as I am unable to ether describe
+the scenery or report anything
+that may of been said between these
+2 points but I recall that as we entered
+Albany a remark was adrest
+to me for the first time since lunch.</p>
+
+<p>Bill said my mother with a ½ smirk
+this is Albany the capital of New
+York state.</p>
+
+<p>So this is Albany I thorght to myself.</p>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_62">[Pg 62]</span></p>
+
+<p>Who is governor of New York now
+arsked my mother to my father.</p>
+
+<p>Smith replid my father who seams
+to know everything.</p>
+
+<p>Queer name said my mother
+sulkily.</p>
+
+<p>Soon we puled up along side a
+policeman who my father arsked
+how do we get acrost the river to
+the New York road and if Albany
+pays their policemans by the word
+Ill say we were in the presents of a
+rich man and by the time he got
+through it was dark and still drooling
+and my old man didnt know the
+road and under those conditions I
+will not repete the conversation that
+transpired between Albany and Hudson
+but will end my chapter at the
+city limits of the last named settlemunt.</p>
+
+
+<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop">
+<div class="chapter">
+
+<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_63">[Pg 63]</span></p>
+
+
+  <h2 class="nobreak" id="CHAPTER_7">
+    CHAPTER 7
+    <br>
+    <span class="fs80">Hudson</span>
+  </h2>
+</div>
+
+<p class="drop-cap"><span class="upper-case">We</span> were turing gaily down the
+main st of Hudson when a man
+of 12 years capered out from the
+side walk and hoped on the runing
+board.</p>
+
+<p>Do you want a good garage he
+arsked with a dirty look.</p>
+
+<p>Why yes my good man replid my
+father tenderly but first where is the
+best hotel.</p>
+
+<p>I will take you there said the man.</p>
+
+<p>I must be a grate favorite in Hudson
+my father wispered at my
+mother.</p>
+
+<p>Soon folling the mans directions
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_64">[Pg 64]</span>we puled up in front of a hotel but
+when my father went at the register
+the clerk said I am full tonight.</p>
+
+<p>Where do you get it around here
+arsked my father tenderly.</p>
+
+<p>We have no rooms replid the senile
+clerk paying no tension to my old
+mans remark but there is a woman
+acrost the st that takes loggers.</p>
+<br>
+
+<figure class="figcenter illowp85" id="p065" style="max-width: 41.5em;">
+  <img class="w100" src="images/p065.jpg" alt="">
+  <figcaption>
+    <em><span class="fs150">The Man of Twelve years</span></em>
+  </figcaption>
+</figure>
+<br>
+
+<p>Not to excess I hope replid my
+father but soon we went acrost the
+st and the woman agrede to bord
+us for the night so myself and mother
+went to our apartmunts wilst my
+father and the 12 year old besought
+the garage. When we finley got reunited
+and went back to the hotel
+for supper it was past 8 oclock as
+a person could of told from the
+viands. Latter in front of our loggings
+we again met the young man
+<span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_65"></a><a id="Page_66"></a><a id="Page_67"></a>[Pg 67]</span>who had welcomed us to Hudson and
+called my father to 1 side.</p>
+
+<p>There is a sailer going to spend
+the night here he said in a horse
+wisper witch has walked all the way
+from his home Schenectady and he
+has got to report on his ship in New
+York tomorrow afternoon and has
+got no money so if he dont get a free
+ride he will be up vs it.</p>
+
+<p>He can ride with us replid my
+father with a hiccup if tomorrow is
+anything like today a sailer will not
+feel out of place in my costly moter.</p>
+
+<p>I will tell him replid the man with
+a corse jesture.</p>
+
+<p>Will you call us at ½ past 5 my
+mother reqested to our lanlady as
+we entered our Hudson barracks.</p>
+
+<p>I will if I am awake she replid useing
+her handkerchief to some extent.</p>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_68">[Pg 68]</span></p>
+
+<p>Latter we wandered how anybody
+could help from being awake in that
+hot bed of mones and grones and cat
+calls and caterwauls and gulish
+screaks of all kinds and tho we had
+rose erly at Syracuse and had a day
+of retchedness we was all more than
+ready to get up when she wraped on
+our door long ere day brake.</p>
+
+<p>Where is that sailer that stoped
+here last night quired my father as
+we was about to make a lordly outburst.</p>
+
+<p>He wouldnt pay his bill and razed
+hell so I kicked him out replid the
+lanlady in her bear feet.</p>
+
+<p>Without farther adieu my father
+payed his bill and we walked into the
+dismul st so I will end this chapter
+by leaveing the fare lanlady flaping
+in the door way in her sredded night
+gown.</p>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_69">[Pg 69]</span></p>
+<br>
+
+<figure class="figcenter illowp85" id="p069" style="max-width: 40.5em;">
+  <img class="w100" src="images/p069.jpg" alt="">
+  <figcaption>
+    <em><span class="fs150">Our lanlady in Hudson</span></em>
+  </figcaption>
+</figure>
+<br>
+
+
+<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop">
+<div class="chapter">
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_70"></a><a id="Page_71"></a>[Pg 71]</span></p>
+
+
+  <h2 class="nobreak" id="CHAPTER_8">
+    CHAPTER 8
+    <br>
+    <span class="fs80">Hudson to Yonkers 106.5</span>
+  </h2>
+</div>
+
+<p class="drop-cap"><span class="upper-case">It</span> was raining a little so my father
+bad my mother and I stand in the
+st wilst he went to the garage and
+retained the costly moter. He returned
+½ a hour latter with the story
+that the garage had been locked and
+he had to go to the props house and
+roust him out.</p>
+
+<p>How did you know where he lived
+quired my mother barshfully.</p>
+
+<p>I used the brains god gave me
+was my fathers posthumous reply.</p>
+
+<p>Soon we rumpled into Rhinebeck
+and as it was now day light and the
+rain had siezed we puled up in front
+of the Beekman arms for brekfus.</p>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_72">[Pg 72]</span></p>
+
+<p>It says this is the oldest hotel in
+America said my mother reading the
+programme.</p>
+
+<p>The eggs tastes all right replid my
+father with a corse jesture.</p>
+
+<p>What is the next town quired my
+mother when we again set sale.</p>
+
+<p>Pokippsie was my fathers reply.</p>
+
+<p>Thats where Vassar is said my
+mother as my old man stiffled a yawn
+I wonder if there is a store there that
+would have a koop for David.</p>
+
+<p>I doubt it they ever heard of him
+said my father dryly how much do
+they cost.</p>
+
+<p>Well I dont know.</p>
+
+<p>We entered Pokippsie at lenth
+and turned to the left up the main
+st and puled up in front of a big store
+where myself and mother went in
+and purchased a koop for my little
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_73">[Pg 73]</span>brother and a kap for me witch only
+took a ½ hour dureing witch my
+father lost his temper and when we
+finley immerged he was barking like
+a dog and giveing the Vassar yell. 2
+men come out of the store with us
+and tost the koop with the rest of
+the junk in the back seat and away
+we went.</p>
+
+<p>Doesnt this look cute on him said
+my mother in regards to my new
+kap.</p>
+
+<p>What of it replid my father with
+a grimace and with that we puled
+into Garrison.</p>
+
+<p>Isnt this right acrost the river
+from West Point said my mother
+with a gastly look.</p>
+
+<p>What of it replid my father tenderly
+and soon we found ourselfs in
+Peekskill.</p>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_74">[Pg 74]</span></p>
+
+<p>This is where that young girl
+cousin of mine gos to school said my
+father from Philadelphia.</p>
+
+<p>What of it said my mother with a
+loud cough and presently we stoped
+and bought 15 gals of gas.</p>
+
+<p>I have got a fund of usefull information
+about every town we come to
+said my father admireingly for instants
+this is Harmon where they
+take off the steem engines and put
+on the electric bullgines.</p>
+
+<p>My mother looked at him with ill
+consealed admiration.</p>
+
+<p>And what do you know about this
+town she arsked as we frisked into
+Ossining.</p>
+
+<p>Why this is Ossining where they
+take off the hair and put on the
+stripes replid my father qick as a
+flarsh and the next place is Tarrytown
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_75">[Pg 75]</span>where John D. Rockefeller has
+a estate.</p>
+
+<p>What is the name of the estate
+quired my mother breathlessly.</p>
+
+<p>Socony I supose was the sires
+reply.</p>
+
+<p>With that we honked into Yonkers
+and up the funny looking main st.</p>
+
+<p>What a funny looking st said my
+mother and I always thorght it was
+the home of well to do peaple.</p>
+
+<p>Well yes replid my father it is the
+home of the ruling class at lease Bill
+Klem the umpire and Bill Langford
+the referee lives here.</p>
+
+<p>I will end my chapter on that one.</p>
+
+
+<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop">
+<div class="chapter">
+
+<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_76">[Pg 76]</span></p>
+
+
+  <h2 class="nobreak" id="CHAPTER_9">
+    CHAPTER 9
+    <br>
+    <span class="fs80">The Bureau of Manhattan</span>
+  </h2>
+</div>
+
+<p class="drop-cap"><span class="upper-case">Isn’t</span> it about time said my mother
+as we past Spuyten Duyvil and
+entered the Bureau of Manhattan
+that we made our plans.</p>
+
+<p>What plans said my father all my
+plans is all ready made.</p>
+
+<p>Well then you might make me your
+confident sugested my mother with
+a quaint smirk.</p>
+
+<p>Well then heres the dope uttered
+my father in a vage tone I am going
+to drop you at the 125 st station
+where you will only half to wait 2
+hours and a ½ for the rest of the
+family as the train from the west is
+do at 350 at 125 st in the meen wile
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_77">[Pg 77]</span>I will drive out to Grenitch with Bill
+and see if the house is ready and
+etc and if the other peaples train is
+on time you can catch the 4 4 and I
+an Bill will meet you at the Grenitch
+station.</p>
+
+<p>If you have time get a qt of milk
+for David said my mother with a pail
+look.</p>
+
+<p>What kind of milk arsked my dad.</p>
+
+<p>Oh sour milk my mother screened.</p>
+
+<p>As she was now in a pretty bad
+temper we will leave her to cool off
+for 2 hours and a ½ in the 125 st station
+and end this chapter.</p>
+
+
+<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop">
+<div class="chapter">
+
+<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_78">[Pg 78]</span></p>
+
+
+  <h2 class="nobreak" id="CHAPTER_10">
+    CHAPTER 10
+    <br>
+    <span class="fs80">N. Y. to Grenitch 500.0</span>
+  </h2>
+</div>
+
+<p class="drop-cap"><span class="upper-case">The</span> lease said about my and my
+fathers trip from the Bureau of
+Manhattan to our new home the
+soonest mended. In some way ether
+I or he got balled up on the grand
+concorpse and next thing you know
+we was thretning to swoop down on
+Pittsfield.</p>
+
+<p>Are you lost daddy I arsked tenderly.</p>
+
+<p>Shut up he explained.</p>
+
+<p>At lenth we doubled on our
+tracks and done much better as we
+finley hit New Rochelle and puled
+up along side a policeman with falling
+archs.</p>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_79">[Pg 79]</span></p>
+<br>
+
+<figure class="figcenter illowp85" id="p079" style="max-width: 42.1875em;">
+  <img class="w100" src="images/p079.jpg" alt="">
+  <figcaption>
+    <em><span class="fs150">The New Rochelle Policeman</span></em>
+  </figcaption>
+</figure>
+<br>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_80"></a><a id="Page_81"></a>[Pg 81]</span></p>
+
+<p>What road do I take for Grenitch
+Conn quired my father with poping
+eyes.</p>
+
+<p>Take the Boston post replid the
+policeman.</p>
+
+<p>I have all ready subscribed to one
+out of town paper said my father
+and steped on the gas so we will leave
+the flat foot gaping after us like a
+prune fed calf and end this chapter.</p>
+
+
+<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop">
+<div class="chapter">
+
+<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_82">[Pg 82]</span></p>
+
+
+  <h2 class="nobreak" id="CHAPTER_11">
+    CHAPTER 11
+    <br>
+    <span class="fs80">How It Ended</span>
+  </h2>
+</div>
+
+<p class="drop-cap"><span class="upper-case">True</span> to our promise we were at
+the station in Grenitch when the
+costly train puled in from 125 st.
+Myself and father hoped out of the
+lordly moter and helped the bulk of
+the famly off of the train and I aloud
+our nurse and my 3 brothers to kiss
+me tho Davids left me rarther moist.</p>
+
+<p>Did you have a hard trip my
+father arsked to our nurse shyly.</p>
+
+<p>Why no she replid with a slite
+stager.</p>
+
+<p>She did too said my mother they
+all acted like little devils.</p>
+
+<p>Did you get Davids milk she said
+turning on my father.</p>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_83">[Pg 83]</span></p>
+<br>
+
+<figure class="figcenter illowp85" id="p083" style="max-width: 41.375em;">
+  <img class="w100" src="images/p083.jpg" alt="">
+  <figcaption>
+    <em><span class="fs150">Our Nurse</span></em>
+  </figcaption>
+</figure>
+<br>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_84"></a><a id="Page_85"></a>[Pg 85]</span></p>
+
+<p>Why no does he like milk my
+father replid with a gastly smirk.</p>
+
+<p>We got lost mudder I said brokenly.</p>
+
+<p>We did not screened my father and
+accidently cracked me in the shins
+with a stray foot.</p>
+
+<p>To change the subjeck I turned
+my tensions on my brother Jimmie
+who is nerest my age.</p>
+
+<p>I’ve seen our house Jimmie I said
+brokenly I got here first.</p>
+
+<p>Yes but I slept all night on a train
+and you didnt replid Jimmie with a
+dirty look.</p>
+
+<p>Nether did you said my brother
+John to Jimmie you was awake all
+night.</p>
+
+<p>Were awake said my mother.</p>
+
+<p>Me and David was awake all night
+and crid said my brother John.</p>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_86">[Pg 86]</span></p>
+
+<p>But I only crid once the whole time
+said my brother Jimmie.</p>
+
+<p>But I didnt cry at all did I I arsked
+to my mother.</p>
+
+<p>So she replid with a loud cough
+Bill was a very very good boy.</p>
+
+<p>So now we will say fare well to the
+characters in this book.</p>
+<br>
+<br>
+
+<figure class="figcenter illowp35" id="p086" style="max-width: 59.0625em;">
+  <img class="w100" src="images/p086.jpg" alt="">
+  <figcaption>
+    GAS<br>
+    27
+  </figcaption>
+</figure>
+<br>
+
+<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop">
+
+<div class="chapter transnote">
+<h2 class="fs150 bold">
+  Transcriber’s Notes
+  </h2>
+
+<table class="autotable">
+<tr>
+<td class="tdr">
+Pg 64 Changed:
+</td>
+<td class="tdl">
+and the woman agrede to hord us for the night<br>
+</td>
+</tr>
+<tr>
+<td class="tdr">
+To:
+</td>
+<td class="tdl">
+and the woman agrede to bord us for the night
+</td>
+</tr>
+</table>
+
+<br>
+<br>
+</div>
+
+<div style='text-align:center'>*** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 78483 ***</div>
+</body>
+</html>
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diff --git a/LICENSE.txt b/LICENSE.txt
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+++ b/LICENSE.txt
@@ -0,0 +1,11 @@
+This book, including all associated images, markup, improvements,
+metadata, and any other content or labor, has been confirmed to be
+in the PUBLIC DOMAIN IN THE UNITED STATES.
+
+Procedures for determining public domain status are described in
+the "Copyright How-To" at https://www.gutenberg.org.
+
+No investigation has been made concerning possible copyrights in
+jurisdictions other than the United States. Anyone seeking to utilize
+this eBook outside of the United States should confirm copyright
+status under the laws that apply to them.
diff --git a/README.md b/README.md
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+++ b/README.md
@@ -0,0 +1,2 @@
+Project Gutenberg (https://www.gutenberg.org) public repository for eBook #78483
+(https://www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/78483)