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diff --git a/78483-0.txt b/78483-0.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..fdd66cb --- /dev/null +++ b/78483-0.txt @@ -0,0 +1,1028 @@ +*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 78483 *** + + + + +THE YOUNG IMMIGRUNTS + +[Illustration: + + _Art studios + Main St._ + + _Stiegleman Bros._ + +_The Author—“Bill”_] + + + + + The + Young Immigrunts + + _By_ + + RING W. LARDNER, JR. + + WITH A PREFACE BY + THE FATHER + + _Portraits by Gaar Williams_ + + INDIANAPOLIS + THE BOBBS-MERRILL COMPANY + PUBLISHERS + + + + + COPYRIGHT 1920 + THE CURTIS PUBLISHING COMPANY + + COPYRIGHT 1920 + THE BOBBS-MERRILL COMPANY + + _Printed in the United States of America_ + + PRESS OF + BRAUNWORTH & CO. + BOOK MANUFACTURERS + BROOKLYN, N. Y. + + + + +CONTENTS + + + CHAPTER PAGE + + PREFACE BY THE FATHER ix + + 1 MY PARENTS 13 + + 2 STARTING GAILY 19 + + 3 ERIE LAKE 29 + + 4 BUFFALO TO ROCHESTER 76.4 39 + + 5 MY FATHER’S IDEAR 44 + + 6 SYRACUSE TO HUDSON 183.2 50 + + 7 HUDSON 63 + + 8 HUDSON TO YONKERS 106.5 71 + + 9 THE BUREAU OF MANHATTAN 76 + + 10 N. Y. TO GRENITCH 500.0 78 + + 11 HOW IT ENDED 82 + + +[Illustration: + + 9¼ + MILES + + PIANOS + + GENESEE + STREET +] + + + + +LIST OF ILLUSTRATIONS + + + PAGE + + The Author _Frontispiece_ + + The Rest of the Family 15 + + Granmother at Goshen 21 + + Uncle Bill 25 + + Uncle and Ant in Detroit 31 + + The Bride and Glum 35 + + The Man with the Adams Apple 41 + + The Dirty Mechanic 47 + + Dr. and Mrs. Heywood 53 + + The Policeman at Albany 59 + + A Man of 12 Years 65 + + The Lanlady 69 + + The Policeman at New Rochelle 79 + + Our nurse 83 + + +[Illustration: + + CITY LIMITS + SPEED + NINE (9) MILES +] + + + + +PREFACE + + +The person whose name is signed to this novel was born on the +nineteenth day of August, 1915, and was therefore four years and three +months old when the manuscript was found, late in November, 1919. The +narrative is substantially true, with the following exceptions: + + 1. “My Father,” the leading character in the work, is depicted as a + man of short temper, whereas the person from whom the character was + drawn is in reality as pleasant a fellow as one would care to meet + and seldom has a cross word for any one, let alone women and children. + + 2. The witty speeches accredited to “My Father” have, possibly owing + to the limitations of a child’s memory, been so garbled and twisted + that they do not look half so good in print as they sounded in the + open air. + + 3. More stops for gas were made than are mentioned in the story. + +As the original manuscript was written on a typewriter with a rather +frayed ribbon, and as certain words were marked out and others +hand-written in, I have taken the liberty of copying the entire +work with a fresh ribbon and the inclusion of the changes which the +author indicated in pencil in the first draft. Otherwise the story is +presented to the reader exactly as it was first set down. + + THE FATHER. + + + + +THE YOUNG IMMIGRUNTS + +[Illustration: FREE AIR + +GAS] + + + + +The Young Immigrunts + + + + +CHAPTER 1 + +My Parents + + +My parents are both married and ½ of them are very good looking. The +balance is tall and skiny and has a swarty complexion with moles but +you hardily ever notice them on account of your gaze being rapped up +in his feet which would be funny if brevvity wasnt the soul of wit. +Everybody says I have his eyes and I am glad it didnt half to be +something else tho Rollie Zeider the ball player calls him owl eyes for +a nick name but if I was Rollie Zeider and his nose I wouldnt pick on +somebodys else features. + +He wears pretty shirts which he bought off of another old ball player +Artie Hofman to attrack tension off of his feet and must of payed a big +price for them I heard my ant tell my uncle when they thorght I was a +sleep down to the lake tho I guess he pays even more for his shoes if +they sell them by the frunt foot. + +I was born in a hospittle in Chicago 4 years ago and liked it very much +and had no idear we were going to move till 1 day last summer I heard +my mother arsk our nurse did she think she could get along O. K. with +myself and 3 brothers John Jimmie and David for 10 days wilst she and +my old man went east to look for a costly home. + +[Illustration: _The Rest of the Family_] + +Well yes said our nurse barshfully. + +I may as well exclaim to the reader that John is 7 and Jimmie is 5 and +I am 4 and David is almost nothing as yet you might say and tho I was +named for my father they call me Bill thank God. + +The conversation amungst my mother and our nurse took place right after +my father came back from Toledo where Jack Dempsey knocked Jessie +Willard for a gool tho my father liked the big fellow and bet on him. + +David was in his bath at the time and my mother and our nurse and +myself and 2 elder brothers was standing around admireing him tho I +notice that when the rest of the family takes their bath they dont make +open house of the occassion. + +Well my parents went east and dureing their absents myself and brothers +razed hell with David on the night shift but when they come back my +mother said to the nurse were they good boys. + +Fine replid our nurse lamely and where are you going to live. + +Connecticut said my mother. + +Our nurse forced a tired smile. + +Here we will leave my parents to unpack and end this chapter. + + + + +CHAPTER 2 + +Starting Gaily + + +We spent the rest of the summer on my granmother in Indiana and my +father finley went to the worst series to write it up as he has +followed sports of all sorts for years and is a expert so he bet on the +wite sox and when he come home he acted rarther cross. + +Well said my mother simperingly I suppose we can start east now. + +We will start east when we get good and ready said my father with a +lordly sneeze. + +The next thing was how was we going to make the trip as my father had +boughten a new car that the cheepest way to get it there was drive it +besides carrying a grate deal of our costly bagage but if all of us +went in it they would be no room left for our costly bagage and besides +2 of my brothers always acts like devils incarnite when they get in a +car so my mother said to our nurse. + +If you think you can manage the 2 older boys and David on the train +myself and husband will take Bill in the car said my mother to our +nurse. + +Fine replid our nurse with a gastly look witch my mother did not see. + +[Illustration: _Grandmother at Goshen_] + +Myself and parents left Goshen Indiana on a fine Monday morning +leaveing our nurse and brothers to come latter in the weak on the +railway. Our plans was to reach Detroit that night and stop with my +uncle and ant and the next evening take the boat to Buffalo and +thence to Connecticut by motor so the first town we past through was +Middlebury. + +Elmer Flick the old ball player use to live here said my father +modestly. + +My mother forced a smile and soon we were acrost the Michigan line and +my mother made the remark that she was thirsty. + +We will stop at Coldwater for lunch said my father with a strate face +as he pulls most of his lines without changeing expressions. + +Sure enough we puled up to 1 side of the road just after leaveing +Coldwater and had our costly viands of frid chicken and doughnuts and +milk fernished by my grate ant and of witch I partook freely. + +We will stop at Ypsilanti for supper said my father in calm tones that +is where they have the state normal school. + +I was glad to hear this and hoped we would get there before dark as I +had always wanted to come in contack with normal peaple and see what +they are like and just at dusk we entered a large size town and drove +past a large size football field. + +Heavens said my mother this must be a abnormal school to have such a +large football field. + +My father wore a qeer look. + +This is not Ypsilanti this is Ann Arbor he crid. + +But I thorght you said we would go south of Ann Arbor and direct to +Ypsilanti said my mother with a smirk. + +[Illustration: + + GLEE CLUB + +_Uncle Bill_] + +I did say that but I thorght I would surprise you by comeing into Ann +Arbor replid my father with a corse jesture. + +Personly I think the suprise was unanimous. + +Well now we are here said my mother we might as well look up Bill. + +Bill is my uncle Bill so we stoped at the Alfa Delt house and got him +and took him down to the hotel for supper and my old man called up Mr. +Yost the football coach of the Michigan football team and he come down +and visited with us. + +What kind of a team have you got coach said my father lamely. + +I have got a determined team replid Mr. Yost they are determined to not +play football. + +At this junction my unlucky mother changed the subjeck to the league +of nations and it was 10 o’clock before Mr. Yost come to a semi colon +so we could resume our jurney and by the time we past through Ypsilanti +the peaple was not only subnormal but unconsius. It was nerly midnight +when we puled up in frunt of my ants and uncles house in Detroit that +had been seting up since 7 expecting us. + +Were sorry to be so late said my mother bruskly. + +Were awfully glad you could come at all replid my ant with a ill +consealed yawn. + +We will now leave my relitives to get some sleep and end this chapter. + + + + +CHAPTER 3 + +Erie Lake + + +The boat leaves Detroit every afternoon at 5 oclock and reachs Buffalo +the next morning at 9 tho I would better exclaim to my readers that +when it is 9 oclock in Buffalo it is only 8 oclock in Goshen for +instants as Buffalo peaple are qeer. + +Well said my father the next morning at brekfus I wander what time we +half to get the car on the board of the boat. + +I will find out down town and call up and let you know replid my uncle +who is a engineer and digs soors or something. + +Sure enough he called up dureing the fornoon and said the car must be +on the board of the boat at 3 oclock so my father left the house at +2 oclock and drove down to the worf tho he had never drove a car in +Detroit before but has nerves of steal. Latter my uncle come out to his +home and took myself and mother and ant down to the worf where my old +man was waiting for us haveing put the car on the board. + +What have you been doing ever since 3 oclock arsked my mother as it was +now nerly 5. + +Haveing a high ball my father replid. + +I thorght Detroit was dry said my mother shyly. + +[Illustration: _Uncle and Ant at Detroit_] + +Did you said my father with a rye smile and as it was now nerly time +for the boat to leave we said good by to my uncle and ant and went +on the boat. A messenger took our costly bagage and put it away wilst +myself and parents went out on the porch and set looking at the peaple +on the worf. Suddenly they was a grate hub bub on the worf and a young +man and lady started up the gangs plank wilst a big crowd throwed rice +and old shoes at them and made a up roar. + +Bride and glum going to Niagara Falls said my father who is well +travelled and seams to know everything. + +Instantly the boat give a blarst on the wistle and I started with +suprise. + +Did that scare you Bill said my father and seamed to enjoy it and I +supose he would of laughed out right had I fell overboard and been +drowned in the narsty river water. + +Soon we were steeming up the river on the city of Detroit 3. + +That is Canada over there is it not said my mother. + +What did you think it was the Austrian Tyrol replid my father +explodeing a cough. Dureing our progress up the river I noticed sevral +funny things flotting in the water with lanterns hanging on them and +was wandering what they could be when my mother said they seam to have +plenty of boys. + +They have got nothing on us replid my father quick as a flarsh. + +A little latter who should come out on the porch and set themselfs ner +us but the bride and glum. + +[Illustration: _The Bride and Glum_] + +Oh I said to myself I hope they will talk so as I can hear them as I +have always wandered what newlyweds talk about on their way to Niagara +Falls and soon my wishs was realized. + +Some night said the young glum are you warm enough. + +I am perfectly comfertible replid the fare bride tho her looks belid +her words what time do we arive in Buffalo. + +9 oclock said the lordly glum are you warm enough. + +I am perfectly comfertible replid the fare bride what time do we arive +in Buffalo. + +9 oclock said the lordly glum I am afrade it is too cold for you out +here. + +Well maybe it is replid the fare bride and without farther adieu they +went in the spacius parlers. + +I wander will he be arsking her 8 years from now is she warm enough +said my mother with a faint grimace. + +The weather may change before then replid my father. + +Are you warm enough said my father after a slite pause. + +No was my mothers catchy reply. + +Well said my father we arive in Buffalo at 9 oclock and with that we +all went inside as it was now pitch dark and had our supper and retired +and when we rose the next morning and drest and had brekfus we puled up +to the worf in Buffalo and it was 9 oclock so I will leave the city of +Detroit 3 tide to the worf and end this chapter. + + + + +CHAPTER 4 + +Buffalo to Rochester 76.4 + + +As we was leaveing the boat who should I see right along side of us but +the fare bride and the lordly glum. + +We are right on the dot said the glum looking at his costly watch it is +just 9 oclock and so they past out of my life. + +We had to wait qite a wile wilst the old man dug up his bill of loading +and got the costly moter. + +We will half to get some gas he said I wonder where they is a garage. + +No sooner had the words fell from his lips when a man with a flagrant +Adams apple handed him a card with the name of a garage on it. + +Go up Genesee st 5 blks and turn to the left or something said the man +with the apple. + +Soon we reached the garage and had the gas tank filled with gas it was +27 cents in Buffalo and soon we was on our way to Rochester. Well these +are certainly grate roads said my father barshfully. + +They have lots better roads in the east than out west replid my mother +with a knowing wink. + +The roads all through the east are better than out west remarked my +father at lenth. + +These are wonderfull replid my mother smuggleing me vs her arm. + +[Illustration: _The Man with the Adams Apple_] + +The time past quickly with my parents in so jocular a mood and all +most before I knew it we was on the outer skirts of Batavia. + +What town is this quired my mother in a tolerant voice. + +Batavia husked my father sloughing down to 15 miles per hour. + +Well maybe we would better stop and have lunch here said my mother +coyly. + +We will have lunch in Rochester replid my father with a loud cough. + +My mother forced a smile and it was about ½ past 12 when we arived in +Rochester and soon we was on Genesee st and finley stoped in front of a +elegant hotel and shared a costly lunch. + + + + +CHAPTER 5 + +My Father’s Idear + + +Wilst participateing in the lordly viands my father halled out his map +and give it the up and down. + +Look at here he said at lenth they seams to be a choice of 2 main roads +between here and Syracuse but 1 of them gos way up north to Oswego +wilst the other gos way south to Geneva where as Syracuse is strate +east from here you might say so it looks to me like we would save both +millage and time if we was to drive strate east through Lyons the way +the railway gos. + +Well I dont want to ride on the ties said my mother with a loud cough. + +Well you dont half to because they seams to be a little road that gos +strate through replid my father removeing a flys cadaver from the +costly farina. + +Well you would better stick to the main roads said my mother tacklessly. + +Well you would better stick to your own business replid my father with +a pungent glance. + +Soon my father had payed the check and gave the waiter a lordly bribe +and once more we sprang into the machine and was on our way. The lease +said about the results of my fathers grate idear the soonest mended +in a word it turned out to be a holycost of the first water as after +we had covered miles and miles of ribald roads we suddenly come to a +abrupt conclusion vs the side of a stagnant freight train that was +stone deef to honks. My father set there for nerly ½ a hour reciteing +the 4 Horses of the Apoplex in a under tone but finley my mother +mustard up her curage and said affectedly why dont we turn around and +go back somewheres. I cant spell what my father replid. + +At lenth my old man decided that Lyons wouldnt never come to Mahomet if +we set it out on the same lines all winter so we backed up and turned +around and retraced 4 miles of shell holes and finley reached our +objective by way of Detour. + +Puling up in front of a garage my father beckoned to a dirty mechanic. + +[Illustration: _The Dirty Mechanic_] + +How do we get to Syracuse from here arsked my father blushing +furiously. + +Go strate south to Geneva and then east to Syracuse replid the dirty +mechanic with a loud cough. + +Isnt there no short cut arsked my father. + +Go strate south to Geneva and then east to Syracuse replid the dirty +mechanic. + +You see daddy we go to Geneva after all I said brokenly but luckly +for my piece of mind my father dont beleive in corporeal punishment a +specially in front of Lyons peaple. + +Soon we was on a fine road and nothing more hapened till we puled into +Syracuse at 7 that evening and as for the conversation that changed +hands in the car between Lyons and Syracuse you could stick it in a day +message and send it for 30 cents. + + + + +CHAPTER 6 + +Syracuse to Hudson 183.2 + + +Soon we was on Genesee st in Syracuse but soon turned off a blk or 2 +and puled up in front of a hotel that I cant ether spell or pronounce +besides witch they must of been a convention of cheese sculpters or +something stoping there and any way it took the old man a hour to +weedle a parler bed room and bath out of the clerk and put up a cot for +me. + +Wilst we was enjoying a late and futile supper in the hotel dinning +room a man named Duffy reckonized my father and came to our table and +arsked him to go to some boxing matchs in Syracuse that night. + +Thanks very much said my father with a slite sneeze but you see what +I have got on my hands besides witch I have been driveing all day and +half to start out again erly in the morning so I guess not. + +Between you and I dear reader my old man has been oposed to pugilisms +since the 4 of July holycost. + +Who is that man arsked my mother when that man had gone away. + +Mr. Duffy replid my father shove the ketchup over this way. + +Yes I know he is Mr. Duffy but where did you meet him insisted my +mother quaintly. + +In Boston my father replid where would a person meet a man named Duffy. + +When we got up the next morning it was 6 o’clock and purring rain but +we eat a costly brekfus and my father said we would save time if we +would all walk down to the garage where he had borded the car witch he +stated was only 2 short blks away from the hotel. Well if it was only +2 short blks why peaple that lives next door to each other in Syracuse +are by no means neighbors and when we got there the entire party was +soping wet and rarther rabid. + +We will all catch our death of cold chuckled my mother. + +What of it explained my old man with a dirty look at the sky. + +Maybe we would better put up the curtains sugested my mother smirking. + +Maybe we wouldnt too said my father cordialy. + +[Illustration: _Dr. and Mrs. Heywood and the Closed Car._] + +Well maybe it will clear up said my mother convulsively. + +Maybe it wont too replid my father as he capered into the drivers seat. + +My father is charming company wilst driveing on strange roads through a +purring rain and even when we past through Oneida and he pronounced it +like it was a biscuit neither myself or my mother ventured to correct +him but finley we reached Utica when we got to witch we puled up along +side the kerb and got out and rang ourselfs out to a small extent when +suddenly a closed car sored past us on the left. + +Why that was Mrs. Heywood in that car explained my mother with a +fierce jesture. By this time it was not raining and we got back into +the car and presently over took the closed car witch stoped when they +reckonized us. + +And witch boy is this quired Mrs. Heywood when the usual compliments +had been changed. + +This is the third he is named for his father replid my mother forceing +a smile. + +He has his eyes was the comment. + +Bill dont you remember Mrs. Heywood said my mother turning on me she +use to live in Riverside and Dr. Heywood tended to you that time you +had that slite atack of obesity. + +Well yes I replid with a slite accent but did not add how rotten the +medicine tasted that time and soon we was on Genesee st on our way out +of Utica. + +I wander why they dont name some of their sts Genesee in these eastren +towns said my father for the sun was now shining but no sooner had we +reached Herkimer when the clouds bersed with renude vigger and I think +my old man was about to say we will stop here and have lunch when my +mother sugested it herself. + +No replid my father with a corse jesture we will go on to Little Falls. + +It was raining cats and dogs when we arived at Little Falls and my +father droped a quaint remark. + +If Falls is a verb he said the man that baptized this town was a +practicle joker. + +We will half to change our close replid my mother steping into a mud +peddle in front of the hotel with a informal look. + +When we had done so we partook of a meger lunch and as it was now only +drooling resumed our jurney. + +They soked me 5 for that room said my father but what is a extra +sokeing or 2 on a day like this. + +I didnt mean for you to get a room said my mother violently. + +Where did you want us to change our close on the register said my old +man turning pail. + +Wasnt it funny that we should happen to see Mrs. Heywood in Utica said +my mother at lenth. + +They live there dont they my father replid. + +Why yes my mother replid. + +Well then my father replid the real joke would of been if we had of +happened to see her in Auburn. + +[Illustration: _Albany’s Rich Policeman_] + +A little wile latter we past a grate many signs reading dine at the +Big Nose Mountain Inn. + +Rollie Zeider never told me they had named a mountain after him crid my +father and soon we past through Fonda. + +Soon we past through Amsterdam and I guess I must of dosed off at lease +I cant remember anything between there and Schenectady and I must +apologize to my readers for my laps as I am unable to ether describe +the scenery or report anything that may of been said between these 2 +points but I recall that as we entered Albany a remark was adrest to me +for the first time since lunch. + +Bill said my mother with a ½ smirk this is Albany the capital of New +York state. + +So this is Albany I thorght to myself. + +Who is governor of New York now arsked my mother to my father. + +Smith replid my father who seams to know everything. + +Queer name said my mother sulkily. + +Soon we puled up along side a policeman who my father arsked how do +we get acrost the river to the New York road and if Albany pays their +policemans by the word Ill say we were in the presents of a rich man +and by the time he got through it was dark and still drooling and my +old man didnt know the road and under those conditions I will not +repete the conversation that transpired between Albany and Hudson but +will end my chapter at the city limits of the last named settlemunt. + + + + +CHAPTER 7 + +Hudson + + +We were turing gaily down the main st of Hudson when a man of 12 years +capered out from the side walk and hoped on the runing board. + +Do you want a good garage he arsked with a dirty look. + +Why yes my good man replid my father tenderly but first where is the +best hotel. + +I will take you there said the man. + +I must be a grate favorite in Hudson my father wispered at my mother. + +Soon folling the mans directions we puled up in front of a hotel but +when my father went at the register the clerk said I am full tonight. + +Where do you get it around here arsked my father tenderly. + +We have no rooms replid the senile clerk paying no tension to my old +mans remark but there is a woman acrost the st that takes loggers. + +[Illustration: _The Man of Twelve years_] + +Not to excess I hope replid my father but soon we went acrost the st +and the woman agrede to bord us for the night so myself and mother +went to our apartmunts wilst my father and the 12 year old besought +the garage. When we finley got reunited and went back to the hotel for +supper it was past 8 oclock as a person could of told from the viands. +Latter in front of our loggings we again met the young man who had +welcomed us to Hudson and called my father to 1 side. + +There is a sailer going to spend the night here he said in a horse +wisper witch has walked all the way from his home Schenectady and he +has got to report on his ship in New York tomorrow afternoon and has +got no money so if he dont get a free ride he will be up vs it. + +He can ride with us replid my father with a hiccup if tomorrow is +anything like today a sailer will not feel out of place in my costly +moter. + +I will tell him replid the man with a corse jesture. + +Will you call us at ½ past 5 my mother reqested to our lanlady as we +entered our Hudson barracks. + +I will if I am awake she replid useing her handkerchief to some extent. + +Latter we wandered how anybody could help from being awake in that hot +bed of mones and grones and cat calls and caterwauls and gulish screaks +of all kinds and tho we had rose erly at Syracuse and had a day of +retchedness we was all more than ready to get up when she wraped on our +door long ere day brake. + +Where is that sailer that stoped here last night quired my father as we +was about to make a lordly outburst. + +He wouldnt pay his bill and razed hell so I kicked him out replid the +lanlady in her bear feet. + +Without farther adieu my father payed his bill and we walked into the +dismul st so I will end this chapter by leaveing the fare lanlady +flaping in the door way in her sredded night gown. + +[Illustration: _Our lanlady in Hudson_] + + + + +CHAPTER 8 + +Hudson to Yonkers 106.5 + + +It was raining a little so my father bad my mother and I stand in +the st wilst he went to the garage and retained the costly moter. He +returned ½ a hour latter with the story that the garage had been locked +and he had to go to the props house and roust him out. + +How did you know where he lived quired my mother barshfully. + +I used the brains god gave me was my fathers posthumous reply. + +Soon we rumpled into Rhinebeck and as it was now day light and the rain +had siezed we puled up in front of the Beekman arms for brekfus. + +It says this is the oldest hotel in America said my mother reading the +programme. + +The eggs tastes all right replid my father with a corse jesture. + +What is the next town quired my mother when we again set sale. + +Pokippsie was my fathers reply. + +Thats where Vassar is said my mother as my old man stiffled a yawn I +wonder if there is a store there that would have a koop for David. + +I doubt it they ever heard of him said my father dryly how much do they +cost. + +Well I dont know. + +We entered Pokippsie at lenth and turned to the left up the main st +and puled up in front of a big store where myself and mother went in +and purchased a koop for my little brother and a kap for me witch +only took a ½ hour dureing witch my father lost his temper and when we +finley immerged he was barking like a dog and giveing the Vassar yell. +2 men come out of the store with us and tost the koop with the rest of +the junk in the back seat and away we went. + +Doesnt this look cute on him said my mother in regards to my new kap. + +What of it replid my father with a grimace and with that we puled into +Garrison. + +Isnt this right acrost the river from West Point said my mother with a +gastly look. + +What of it replid my father tenderly and soon we found ourselfs in +Peekskill. + +This is where that young girl cousin of mine gos to school said my +father from Philadelphia. + +What of it said my mother with a loud cough and presently we stoped and +bought 15 gals of gas. + +I have got a fund of usefull information about every town we come to +said my father admireingly for instants this is Harmon where they take +off the steem engines and put on the electric bullgines. + +My mother looked at him with ill consealed admiration. + +And what do you know about this town she arsked as we frisked into +Ossining. + +Why this is Ossining where they take off the hair and put on the +stripes replid my father qick as a flarsh and the next place is +Tarrytown where John D. Rockefeller has a estate. + +What is the name of the estate quired my mother breathlessly. + +Socony I supose was the sires reply. + +With that we honked into Yonkers and up the funny looking main st. + +What a funny looking st said my mother and I always thorght it was the +home of well to do peaple. + +Well yes replid my father it is the home of the ruling class at lease +Bill Klem the umpire and Bill Langford the referee lives here. + +I will end my chapter on that one. + + + + +CHAPTER 9 + +The Bureau of Manhattan + + +Isn’t it about time said my mother as we past Spuyten Duyvil and +entered the Bureau of Manhattan that we made our plans. + +What plans said my father all my plans is all ready made. + +Well then you might make me your confident sugested my mother with a +quaint smirk. + +Well then heres the dope uttered my father in a vage tone I am going to +drop you at the 125 st station where you will only half to wait 2 hours +and a ½ for the rest of the family as the train from the west is do at +350 at 125 st in the meen wile I will drive out to Grenitch with Bill +and see if the house is ready and etc and if the other peaples train +is on time you can catch the 4 4 and I an Bill will meet you at the +Grenitch station. + +If you have time get a qt of milk for David said my mother with a pail +look. + +What kind of milk arsked my dad. + +Oh sour milk my mother screened. + +As she was now in a pretty bad temper we will leave her to cool off for +2 hours and a ½ in the 125 st station and end this chapter. + + + + +CHAPTER 10 + +N. Y. to Grenitch 500.0 + + +The lease said about my and my fathers trip from the Bureau of +Manhattan to our new home the soonest mended. In some way ether I or +he got balled up on the grand concorpse and next thing you know we was +thretning to swoop down on Pittsfield. + +Are you lost daddy I arsked tenderly. + +Shut up he explained. + +At lenth we doubled on our tracks and done much better as we finley hit +New Rochelle and puled up along side a policeman with falling archs. + +[Illustration: _The New Rochelle Policeman_] + +What road do I take for Grenitch Conn quired my father with poping eyes. + +Take the Boston post replid the policeman. + +I have all ready subscribed to one out of town paper said my father and +steped on the gas so we will leave the flat foot gaping after us like a +prune fed calf and end this chapter. + + + + +CHAPTER 11 + +How It Ended + + +True to our promise we were at the station in Grenitch when the costly +train puled in from 125 st. Myself and father hoped out of the lordly +moter and helped the bulk of the famly off of the train and I aloud our +nurse and my 3 brothers to kiss me tho Davids left me rarther moist. + +Did you have a hard trip my father arsked to our nurse shyly. + +Why no she replid with a slite stager. + +She did too said my mother they all acted like little devils. + +Did you get Davids milk she said turning on my father. + +[Illustration: _Our Nurse_] + +Why no does he like milk my father replid with a gastly smirk. + +We got lost mudder I said brokenly. + +We did not screened my father and accidently cracked me in the shins +with a stray foot. + +To change the subjeck I turned my tensions on my brother Jimmie who is +nerest my age. + +I’ve seen our house Jimmie I said brokenly I got here first. + +Yes but I slept all night on a train and you didnt replid Jimmie with a +dirty look. + +Nether did you said my brother John to Jimmie you was awake all night. + +Were awake said my mother. + +Me and David was awake all night and crid said my brother John. + +But I only crid once the whole time said my brother Jimmie. + +But I didnt cry at all did I I arsked to my mother. + +So she replid with a loud cough Bill was a very very good boy. + +So now we will say fare well to the characters in this book. + +[Illustration: + + GAS + 27 +] + + + + + Transcriber’s Notes + + Pg 64 Changed: and the woman agrede to hord us for the night + To: and the woman agrede to bord us for the night +*** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 78483 *** |