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+*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 78266 ***
+
+
+
+
+  APPLETON SHORT PLAYS
+  No. 4
+
+  IT’S TIME SOMETHING
+  HAPPENED
+
+
+
+
+  IT’S TIME SOMETHING
+  HAPPENED
+
+  BY
+
+  ARTHUR DOYLE
+
+  [Illustration]
+
+  D. APPLETON AND COMPANY
+  NEW YORK ¤ LONDON ¤ MCMXXV
+
+
+
+
+  COPYRIGHT, 1925, BY
+  D. APPLETON AND COMPANY
+
+  _All Rights Reserved_
+
+This play is fully protected by the copyright law, all requirements
+of which have been complied with. No performance, either professional
+or amateur, may be given without the permission of the publisher, D.
+APPLETON AND COMPANY, 35 West 32nd Street, New York, or D. APPLETON AND
+COMPANY, 25 Bedford Street, Covent Garden, London, England.
+
+  Copyright, 1924, by Arthur Doyle
+
+  PRINTED IN THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA
+
+
+
+
+IT’S TIME SOMETHING HAPPENED
+
+CAST
+
+
+  THE PROLOGUE
+  THE SHE-ANGLE
+  THE HE-ANGLE
+  THE PLAYWRIGHT
+  THE POET
+  THE NOVELIST
+  THE ACTRESS
+  THE HUSBAND, _another He-Angle_
+
+(_The_ PROLOGUE _steps before the curtain. He is dressed in tights,
+etc., and carries a trumpet._)
+
+PROLOGUE
+
+Do you know who I am? Yes, I’m the Prologue. I’m not really the
+Prologue: I am really the Exposition. But they put tights on me and
+gave me this (_indicating the trumpet_) and called me the Prologue. I
+can’t play a trumpet, but it goes well with my tights and looks good,
+and besides it’s something to lean on while I’m standing over there.
+Yes, I stand there during the whole play. It’s that kind of play.
+
+There, I’ve told you! Yes, you’re going to see a play of a sort. Maybe
+it won’t be much of a play. That will depend on how much of a help you
+are. I suppose I’ve got to explain. That is part of my duties as the
+Exposition.
+
+You see last night a young man (he must have been a very young man)
+dreamed a dream. I don’t mean that you can dream anything but a dream,
+but it is better to say “dreamed a dream” than to say simply, “he
+dreamed.” Now, this young man dreamed about triangles--not the kind he
+ought to have dreamed about as a student of higher mathematics and a
+very young man--but the other kind. He must have been pretty much of a
+playgoer, this young man.
+
+As I say, he dreamed of triangles. He dreamed of a man and a wife and
+another man. That’s what is known as a triangle, you know. He didn’t
+give much time to the husband, but he did get the wife and the other
+man into a terrible mess. He made them fall in love, and he was just
+about to solve the problem of how he was going to get rid of the
+husband--that’s always the problem of triangles, you know--when he woke
+up.
+
+Do you see the difficulty? Here are two angles, desperately in love,
+and they haven’t yet found out how they can get rid of the husband
+angle. And, moreover--but no, I’ve been enough Exposition for the
+present. If anything comes up that you don’t understand, I’ll try to
+make it clear to you. I’ll be right over here if you want me. If you’re
+all ready, we’ll begin. Just remember that you’re to help the angles if
+you can, please!
+
+(_He walks to one side and folds his arms. The curtains part, revealing
+a blank wall of curtains in the rear. Before curtains are three high
+stools._ _On left stool the_ SHE-ANGLE _sits and on right stool the_
+HE-ANGLE, _leaving the center stool vacant_.)
+
+HE-ANGLE
+
+Well?
+
+SHE-ANGLE (_shortly_)
+
+I didn’t say anything.
+
+HE-ANGLE
+
+Oh!
+
+(_Pause._)
+
+SHE-ANGLE
+
+What?
+
+HE-ANGLE
+
+I didn’t say anything.
+
+SHE-ANGLE
+
+Oh!
+
+(_Pause._)
+
+HE-ANGLE
+
+This isn’t getting us anywhere.
+
+SHE-ANGLE
+
+That’s right. Blame it on me!
+
+HE-ANGLE
+
+Who’s blaming it on you?
+
+SHE-ANGLE
+
+You are!
+
+HE-ANGLE
+
+I’m not!
+
+SHE-ANGLE
+
+You are!
+
+HE-ANGLE
+
+I’m not!
+
+SHE-ANGLE
+
+I say you are.
+
+HE-ANGLE
+
+I’m--Oh, well, have it your own way. But, after all, it isn’t getting
+us anywhere, is it?
+
+SHE-ANGLE
+
+Who said it was?
+
+HE-ANGLE
+
+That’s right. Blame it on me!
+
+SHE-ANGLE
+
+Who’s blaming it on you?
+
+HE-ANGLE
+
+You are.
+
+SHE-ANGLE
+
+I’m not!
+
+HE-ANGLE
+
+You-- Oh, there we go again. (_Gets off chair and paces across stage._)
+After all, it _isn’t_ getting us anywhere.
+
+SHE-ANGLE
+
+Well, I’ve done all I could.
+
+HE-ANGLE
+
+What have you done?
+
+SHE-ANGLE
+
+I’ve done everything I could.
+
+HE-ANGLE
+
+So I heard you say. But what have you done?
+
+SHE-ANGLE
+
+I’ve racked my brains for days, if you want to know.
+
+HE-ANGLE
+
+Oh, surely, it didn’t take all that.
+
+SHE-ANGLE
+
+All what?
+
+HE-ANGLE
+
+Days.
+
+SHE-ANGLE (_beginning to sob_)
+
+There! You’re just like all men. Oh! And I thought you different.
+
+HE-ANGLE
+
+Oh, come now! I say, there isn’t any reason for that.
+
+SHE-ANGLE
+
+Oh, no! You’d say not. You would.
+
+HE-ANGLE
+
+Well, what did I say?
+
+SHE-ANGLE
+
+You said--(_Sobs._)--You said I didn’t have any brains.
+
+HE-ANGLE
+
+I didn’t!
+
+SHE-ANGLE
+
+You did.
+
+HE-ANGLE
+
+I didn’t.
+
+SHE-ANGLE (_sobbing_)
+
+You _did_!
+
+HE-ANGLE
+
+Oh, well. (_He goes over to her and takes her hand._) I’m sorry.
+Really, I am, if I said it, but I don’t think I did.
+
+SHE-ANGLE (_brightening_)
+
+Well, you did.
+
+HE-ANGLE
+
+I’m sorry. (_Puts arm about her._) I am like all men, I guess.
+
+SHE-ANGLE
+
+What do you mean by that?
+
+HE-ANGLE
+
+Oh, nothing. But what are you going to do about it?
+
+SHE-ANGLE
+
+I’ve been trying to tell you all along, if you’d only let me.
+
+HE-ANGLE
+
+What have you been trying to tell me?
+
+SHE-ANGLE
+
+What I’m going to do about it.
+
+HE-ANGLE
+
+Oh!
+
+SHE-ANGLE
+
+What?
+
+HE-ANGLE
+
+Nothing. I just said “Oh”!
+
+SHE-ANGLE
+
+Oh!
+
+(_Pause._)
+
+HE-ANGLE
+
+Well?
+
+SHE-ANGLE
+
+I didn’t say anything.
+
+HE-ANGLE
+
+Oh!
+
+(_Pause._)
+
+SHE-ANGLE
+
+You see, I will not just run away from my husband. I say I won’t!
+
+HE-ANGLE
+
+No! Certainly not. But what are you going to do? You know I love you.
+Where do I come in?
+
+SHE-ANGLE
+
+Well, I’ve sent for a playwright.
+
+HE-ANGLE
+
+Oh!
+
+SHE-ANGLE
+
+Yes.
+
+HE-ANGLE
+
+But what good is a playwright?
+
+SHE-ANGLE
+
+Why, don’t you see? To get us out of this mess.
+
+HE-ANGLE
+
+But what _good_ is he?
+
+SHE-ANGLE
+
+Why, don’t you see?
+
+HE-ANGLE
+
+No.
+
+SHE-ANGLE
+
+Why, playwrights have to do with angles, and triangles, and all that
+sort of thing. He should be able to help us.
+
+HE-ANGLE
+
+Oh!
+
+(_Pause._)
+
+SHE-ANGLE
+
+Well?
+
+HE-ANGLE
+
+I didn’t say anything.
+
+SHE-ANGLE
+
+Oh!
+
+(_Pause._)
+
+SHE-ANGLE
+
+But I think you might.
+
+HE-ANGLE
+
+Might what?
+
+SHE-ANGLE
+
+Say something. What do you think of it--my plan?
+
+HE-ANGLE
+
+Oh! it’s all right, I guess.
+
+SHE-ANGLE
+
+You guess!
+
+(_Looks as if on the verge of tears._)
+
+HE-ANGLE
+
+Why, of course it is. It’s fine; that’s what it is. It’s great! But
+suppose he won’t be able to help us?
+
+SHE-ANGLE
+
+He--(_Looks off left._)--Here he comes! He will! (_Enter_ PLAYWRIGHT
+_from left_. _Both_ HE-ANGLE _and_ SHE-ANGLE _look at him curiously_.
+HE-ANGLE _goes back to his stool_.)
+
+PLAYWRIGHT
+
+You sent for me?
+
+SHE-ANGLE
+
+So you’re really a playwright! Oh!
+
+PLAYWRIGHT
+
+Well, rather. You sent for me?
+
+SHE-ANGLE
+
+Yes. I sent for you.
+
+PLAYWRIGHT
+
+Well?
+
+  HE-ANGLE  }
+  SHE-ANGLE } (_together_)
+
+I didn’t say anything.
+
+PLAYWRIGHT
+
+But what did you send for me for?
+
+SHE-ANGLE
+
+I told you that--in my letter. You know--my husband. We’ve got to get
+free from him.
+
+PLAYWRIGHT
+
+Oh, yes! Husband--triangle. H’m.
+
+SHE-ANGLE
+
+I thought that you, being a playwright--
+
+PLAYWRIGHT
+
+Yes, yes, of course.
+
+SHE-ANGLE
+
+You see, it’s really a very serious matter.
+
+PLAYWRIGHT
+
+H’m! Oh, not so serious!
+
+HE-ANGLE
+
+But what are we going to do about it?
+
+PLAYWRIGHT
+
+Not so fast, young man! Don’t be impatient.
+
+HE-ANGLE
+
+But we’re tired just being--angles.
+
+PLAYWRIGHT
+
+Of course. H’m! Have you told him?
+
+SHE-ANGLE
+
+Whom?
+
+PLAYWRIGHT
+
+Why, your husband.
+
+SHE-ANGLE
+
+No.
+
+PLAYWRIGHT
+
+No, of course not. But it is all very plain.
+
+HE-ANGLE
+
+What is all very plain?
+
+PLAYWRIGHT
+
+It’s all very simple. All you have to do is to run away.
+
+  HE-ANGLE  }
+  SHE-ANGLE } Run away!
+
+PLAYWRIGHT
+
+Why, of course. Together!
+
+SHE-ANGLE
+
+But--but the scandal.
+
+PLAYWRIGHT
+
+Ah, of course--the scandal. Wonderful! Think of it. The whole town
+talking. Ah, Pinero! Everyone that’s worth while. Of course!
+
+SHE-ANGLE
+
+But I don’t want them to talk!
+
+PLAYWRIGHT
+
+Don’t be foolish! Think of the dialogue!
+
+HE-ANGLE
+
+The what?
+
+PLAYWRIGHT
+
+The dialogue. Think of what people will say! Sparkling, eh, what!
+Scintillating! Think of it! Ah, Wilde!
+
+SHE-ANGLE
+
+But I don’t want them to talk!
+
+PLAYWRIGHT
+
+Well, of all the--! But they will talk!
+
+HE-ANGLE
+
+No!
+
+PLAYWRIGHT
+
+Yes! Of course they will. Do you think they’re fools? If they didn’t
+talk, why--why there wouldn’t be any sense to triangles. You angles
+must take the consequences. If you must angle, you must be talked about.
+
+SHE-ANGLE
+
+No! I refuse!
+
+HE-ANGLE
+
+Certainly not!
+
+(_Pause._)
+
+PLAYWRIGHT
+
+Well, then, if you insist on shutting out dialogue. There--have you
+thought of--How is your husband?
+
+SHE-ANGLE
+
+Why, well, thank you! Why--What do you mean?
+
+PLAYWRIGHT
+
+I mean--doesn’t he have anything?
+
+SHE-ANGLE
+
+Doesn’t he have anything?
+
+PLAYWRIGHT
+
+Why, yes--apoplexy or locomotor ataxia, or diabetes, or something?
+
+SHE-ANGLE
+
+Why--why, no!
+
+PLAYWRIGHT
+
+Pshaw, that’s too bad.
+
+SHE-ANGLE
+
+But I don’t know what you mean!
+
+PLAYWRIGHT
+
+Why, don’t you see? If he had something, he’d be bound to die at the
+right moment--which is now. Sort of an unwritten law among husbands,
+you know. They always do. They’re bound to in such cases as this--if
+everything else fails.
+
+SHE-ANGLE
+
+Well, he won’t.
+
+HE-ANGLE
+
+No, he’s healthy as a fool! Besides, he wouldn’t have the decency.
+
+SHE-ANGLE
+
+He would! He would die, if he could. I know he would!
+
+HE-ANGLE
+
+He wouldn’t! He’s too mean!
+
+SHE-ANGLE
+
+He isn’t! Besides, I don’t want him to die.
+
+HE-ANGLE
+
+Who said you did?
+
+SHE-ANGLE
+
+You did!
+
+HE-ANGLE
+
+I didn’t!
+
+SHE-ANGLE
+
+You _did_! You _did_! You _did_!
+
+HE-ANGLE
+
+Oh, well!
+
+PLAYWRIGHT
+
+Come now, this isn’t getting us anywhere. We’re not through yet.
+There’s still another chance.
+
+  HE-ANGLE  }
+  SHE-ANGLE } (_together_)
+
+What is it?
+
+PLAYWRIGHT
+
+Hire a yacht!
+
+SHE-ANGLE
+
+A yacht?
+
+PLAYWRIGHT
+
+Of course. Hire a yacht and get shipwrecked.
+
+SHE-ANGLE
+
+Oh!
+
+HE-ANGLE
+
+Get shipwrecked?
+
+PLAYWRIGHT
+
+Of course. Hire a yacht and go to the South Sea Islands--Fiji will do.
+Get shipwrecked--it’s very easy to manage. Then, out there, under the
+open sky and the stars--nature will tell.
+
+SHE-ANGLE
+
+Nature will tell?
+
+PLAYWRIGHT
+
+Why, yes. You’ll fight--you (_to_ HE-ANGLE) and he. Let the best man
+win! You’ll win--unless you lose. In either case--(_To_ SHE-ANGLE.) In
+either case you’ll be satisfied. If your husband wins, you’ll find that
+all along you wanted your husband to win. (_Indicating_ HE-ANGLE.) If
+he wins, you’ll be happy to know that the man destiny picked for you
+won. It’s a fine place, the South Seas. You’re always satisfied.
+
+SHE-ANGLE
+
+But I don’t want to go to the South Seas!
+
+HE-ANGLE
+
+Neither do I. It’s too lonely.
+
+PLAYWRIGHT
+
+Ah, no! It isn’t lonely any more. The South Seas have become very
+popular with the people who want to read their Ten Favorite Books and
+who never would read them anywhere else. You’d not be lonely--if you
+enjoy Shakespeare and Walt Whitman.
+
+SHE-ANGLE
+
+I hate Shakespeare, and I hate Walt Whitman! I won’t go! A fortune
+teller once told me I’d die by drowning, and I won’t go aboard a ship!
+
+PLAYWRIGHT
+
+Not even to Europe?
+
+SHE-ANGLE
+
+Not even to Europe.
+
+PLAYWRIGHT
+
+How vulgar! (_He walks toward off stage._) Good day!
+
+SHE-ANGLE
+
+What, are you going?
+
+PLAYWRIGHT
+
+Yes, I’m going. What do you expect me to do? Stay here and be insulted?
+
+HE-ANGLE
+
+Be insulted?
+
+PLAYWRIGHT
+
+Yes, be insulted. When you sent for me, I thought you would follow my
+advice. I have more to give, but I refuse to have my ideas laughed at.
+They’ve always been successful before--they still are in a thousand
+cases. But you think you’re too good, and your husband is too damn
+healthy, and yourself too superstitious. Good day.
+
+(_He lifts his hat and passes out right. Both_ HE-ANGLE _and_ SHE-ANGLE
+_look disconsolately after him_.)
+
+SHE-ANGLE
+
+Well?
+
+HE-ANGLE
+
+I didn’t say anything.
+
+SHE-ANGLE
+
+Oh!
+
+(_Pause._)
+
+HE-ANGLE
+
+I told you so!
+
+SHE-ANGLE
+
+What did you tell me?
+
+HE-ANGLE
+
+That a fool playwright wouldn’t be any help.
+
+SHE-ANGLE
+
+You didn’t!
+
+HE-ANGLE
+
+I did! Now if you’d followed my plan in the first place!
+
+SHE-ANGLE
+
+You didn’t have any plan.
+
+HE-ANGLE
+
+I did. You know I did. My friend, the Poet. If you’d only sent for
+him--He’d be able to help us. A poet’s got imagination. That’s what we
+need--imagination. He’s got it--my friend, the Poet.
+
+SHE-ANGLE
+
+Why didn’t _you_ send for him?
+
+HE-ANGLE
+
+I did, even if you wouldn’t. I asked him to come, and he said he’d be
+right over.
+
+SHE-ANGLE
+
+Well, why didn’t he come?
+
+HE-ANGLE
+
+He’d been here long ago if it hadn’t been for that fool of a
+playwright. I never liked playwrights anyway. Poets for me every time.
+They’re so practical.
+
+SHE-ANGLE
+
+Well, why doesn’t he come?
+
+HE-ANGLE
+
+He probably is here; no doubt he’s been here all the time that fool
+Playwright was here, only I didn’t want to have them meet. They don’t
+hitch very well, Poets and Playwrights. At least any more. (_He looks
+toward_ PROLOGUE.) Is the Poet here?
+
+(_The_ PROLOGUE _looks off stage right_.)
+
+PROLOGUE
+
+Yes, the Poet is here.
+
+HE-ANGLE
+
+Send him in.
+
+PROLOGUE
+
+I beg your pardon! I’m a Prologue--not a butler. However, I’ll call him
+if you insist. But please address me more respectfully in the future.
+
+HE-ANGLE
+
+I beg your pardon, Prologue. Please call the Poet.
+
+PROLOGUE (_beckoning off stage right_)
+
+Poet.
+
+(_Enter_ POET _from right. He is fat, bald, and of a rosy complexion._)
+
+POET
+
+Hullo!
+
+HE-ANGLE (_getting off stool_)
+
+Hullo! (_Turns to_ SHE-ANGLE.) May I introduce Poet?
+
+SHE-ANGLE (_bowing stiffly_)
+
+How do you do!
+
+(_She is not a bit impressed._)
+
+POET
+
+You sent for me?
+
+HE-ANGLE
+
+Yes. As I explained in my letter, we want advice on how to solve our
+triangle.
+
+POET
+
+But I’m a Poet. I always was rotten at mathematics.
+
+HE-ANGLE
+
+But this is not a mathematical triangle. (_He gets back on stool._) You
+see (_indicating_ SHE-ANGLE), we’re angles.
+
+POET
+
+Oh, I see! (_To_ SHE-ANGLE.) He’s complimentary, eh, what? Haw!
+
+(SHE-ANGLE _sniffs, very much upstage, at the pun_.)
+
+HE-ANGLE
+
+We need your advice. Imagination! It’s going to take imagination to get
+us out of this mess. That’s why I sent for you.
+
+POET
+
+Thank you. Well, then, what have you done?
+
+HE-ANGLE
+
+Nothing.
+
+SHE-ANGLE
+
+A Playwright tried to help us, but--
+
+POET
+
+But couldn’t. Of course! Tawdry stuff, I suppose. I know just about
+what he would suggest. It goes well enough on the stage, but it isn’t
+art.
+
+SHE-ANGLE
+
+Ah! Art!
+
+POET
+
+Of course. You want to be artistic, don’t you?
+
+SHE-ANGLE (_beginning to melt_)
+
+Yes. Oh, yes!
+
+POET
+
+H’m.
+
+(_Pause._)
+
+HE-ANGLE
+
+Well?
+
+POET
+
+I didn’t say anything.
+
+SHE-ANGLE
+
+Oh!
+
+(_Pause._)
+
+POET
+
+There’s really not much to be done. It’s all so simple, really, and all
+so artistic. Poetry! I tell you there’s poetry there.
+
+  HE-ANGLE  }
+  SHE-ANGLE } (_together_)
+
+Where?
+
+POET
+
+There.
+
+  HE-ANGLE  }
+  SHE-ANGLE } (_together_)
+
+Oh!
+
+POET
+
+Yes, there’s poetry there, and art. It’s so artistic to suffer.
+
+SHE-ANGLE
+
+To suffer?
+
+POET
+
+Yes, so artistic. A sacrifice on the altar of living love. Oh, divine
+sacrifice! Oh, the beauty and the art of suffering!
+
+HE-ANGLE
+
+Say, I don’t get all that you’re raving about, but if you have the
+idea that we aren’t suffering, you’re way off. We are. And it may be
+artistic, but it’s damn uncomfortable.
+
+POET
+
+Uncomfortable. Yes. So artistic. The altar of living love. Purple love,
+deep, mystic, fragrant, yes. So uncomfortable, but so beautiful.
+
+SHE-ANGLE
+
+But I thought you would be able to help us.
+
+POET
+
+Ah, I am able. So able! Already I have envisioned your life. So heroic!
+So hopeless!
+
+HE-ANGLE
+
+Hopeless?
+
+POET
+
+Yes. Two lives sacrificed on the altar of living, hopeless love.
+Deathless love, fragrant and so purple!
+
+HE-ANGLE
+
+Come out of it and explain all this nonsense to us! Can you help us
+escape from this awful three-cornered prison?
+
+POET
+
+Ah, yes, three-cornered. The three-cornered prison of love! Fetters
+forged in the vermillion fire of love. No blue flame to love, but deep
+vermillion girandoles of passion! So vermillion!
+
+SHE-ANGLE (_she has stood it as long as she can_)
+
+He’s mad!
+
+POET (_starting up_)
+
+What?
+
+HE-ANGLE
+
+I sent for you, thinking that with your imagination you would be able
+to help us. But it seems that you’ve got too much imagination. Have you
+any suggestion or haven’t you?
+
+POET
+
+Why, of course I have. Haven’t I been telling you all along?
+
+SHE-ANGLE
+
+Well, how am I to get rid of my husband?
+
+POET
+
+Ah, madam. You’ll not do that. Ah, no! So comfortable but so inartistic.
+
+SHE-ANGLE
+
+Not get rid of him! But what shall I do?
+
+POET
+
+Live. Madam, live--a living sacrifice on the altar of a living love!
+
+SHE-ANGLE
+
+You mean--? You don’t mean--?
+
+POET
+
+Yes.
+
+HE-ANGLE
+
+But where do I come in?
+
+POET
+
+Ah, my boy. That is it. You, too, can suffer so beautifully. Eternally!
+Love is eternity. Love her, my boy, and suffer from afar.
+
+HE-ANGLE
+
+Not marry her?
+
+POET
+
+No, no! Not marry her! That would not be art. You must deny your love,
+lock it in your heart and go.
+
+HE-ANGLE
+
+Go where?
+
+POET
+
+That doesn’t matter. Just go. In your heart a love denied. So denied!
+
+HE-ANGLE
+
+But I’m not going. I’m going----
+
+POET
+
+But I thought you said you weren’t.
+
+HE-ANGLE
+
+I’m going to marry her!
+
+POET
+
+No! Good Lord, no! Anything but that. Seal up your hearts with the
+seals of eternity and deny your love. There only is Poetry! There only
+is Art! Seal up your hearts, I say. But don’t marry.
+
+SHE-ANGLE
+
+I will marry him!
+
+POET
+
+You, too! Think of it. Why, you are spoiling your great opportunity of
+sacrificing yourself on the altar of deathless love. You may be _sung_,
+if you seal your hearts; but marry, and you’ll go and have children.
+Ugh!
+
+SHE-ANGLE
+
+I love children.
+
+POET
+
+Ugh! Deny your purple love, and suffer the eternal pangs of deathless,
+hopeless yearning. I’ll sing you. Why, I’ve already thought of two new
+rhymes for love and a beautiful simile. Think of it. Deny your love and
+have your story told to the world in similes!
+
+SHE-ANGLE
+
+I hate similes!
+
+POET
+
+So heroic! So beautiful! So deathless to deny a hopeless love. Beside
+it the human sacrifices of golden Chichen-Itza were pale and anemic.
+I’m holding out to you the straw of immortality.
+
+SHE-ANGLE
+
+I don’t want to be immortal. I want children.
+
+POET
+
+Oh, well. Then have your children. But don’t, in the name of art and
+beauty, don’t have legitimate children. Legitimate children are so
+prosy. A poet can’t sing of them.
+
+SHE-ANGLE (_feeling her cheeks_)
+
+Oh! Oh! Why, the idea!
+
+HE-ANGLE
+
+Come, now, that’s going a bit too far! I don’t think you can help us.
+In fact, I think everything you’ve said about the most ridiculous
+rubbish I ever heard.
+
+POET
+
+Rubbish! Fool! Fools! (_He stalks toward left._) I’m through with you.
+Love your damn heads off and marry and have children, dozens of them. I
+hope they’re all cross-eyed! Fools!
+
+(_He goes off left angrily_, HE-ANGLE _and_ SHE-ANGLE _sit on their
+stools, a picture of resentment and outraged respectability_.)
+
+SHE-ANGLE
+
+I told you so.
+
+HE-ANGLE
+
+What did you tell me?
+
+SHE-ANGLE
+
+I knew he couldn’t help us. A poet! He’s no poet. Fat and bald. Ugh!
+I think he ought to be arrested as an impostor. Why, the idea of his
+talking about illegit--about--ah--children!
+
+HE-ANGLE
+
+And I thought he was a friend of mine! I always liked poetry, too.
+
+SHE-ANGLE
+
+Deny our love! Live and suffer! I don’t believe he knows what love is.
+Or life either. And then those--children!
+
+(_She feels her cheeks again. Pause while both sit thoughtfully._)
+
+HE-ANGLE
+
+Well?
+
+SHE-ANGLE
+
+I didn’t say anything.
+
+HE-ANGLE
+
+Oh!
+
+(_Pause._)
+
+SHE-ANGLE
+
+But what are we to _do_?
+
+HE-ANGLE
+
+I don’t know. This is an awful mess. Maybe Poet is right and we’ll have
+to go on as we are--just angles.
+
+SHE-ANGLE
+
+He isn’t right! and I won’t go on just being an angle.
+
+HE-ANGLE
+
+But what are we going to do?
+
+SHE-ANGLE
+
+I’m sure I don’t know--yet. But we’ll find a way.
+
+(_Pause while they both seem to concentrate._)
+
+SHE-ANGLE
+
+I have it!
+
+HE-ANGLE
+
+What?
+
+SHE-ANGLE
+
+Why didn’t we think of it before?
+
+HE-ANGLE
+
+What?
+
+SHE-ANGLE
+
+Why, Prologue! Why don’t we ask Prologue?
+
+HE-ANGLE
+
+That’s right. Why didn’t we?
+
+SHE-ANGLE
+
+Oh, Prologue!
+
+(PROLOGUE, _who has been leaning half asleep on his trumpet, turns to
+the_ ANGLES.)
+
+PROLOGUE
+
+Yes?
+
+SHE-ANGLE
+
+We want your help. We need your advice.
+
+PROLOGUE
+
+Oh, no!
+
+SHE-ANGLE
+
+What do you mean?
+
+PROLOGUE
+
+I mean you’re not going to drag me into this mess. I’m a Prologue and
+don’t know anything about Angles--any more than I do about playing this
+trumpet We Prologues have a lot to contend with these days. They make
+us do all sorts of things--even to shifting scenery at times. But so
+far they have kept us out of scandals, and I’m not going to start in,
+as old as I am, getting into such scrapes.
+
+SHE-ANGLE
+
+But, Prologue, we don’t want you to get into any scrapes. We only want
+you to give us advice on how to solve the triangle.
+
+PROLOGUE
+
+Oh, yes, that’s all you want me to do. But say, haven’t I seen plays
+before? Haven’t I seen innocent bystanders dragged into such messes
+as this, even into the divorce courts, just because of a little good
+advice given at the wrong time.
+
+SHE-ANGLE
+
+But this is the right time.
+
+PROLOGUE
+
+How can I be sure of that? Besides, as I said before, I’m the Prologue
+and not an information bureau or ways and means committee.
+
+(_He turns back to the side of the proscenium where he has been
+standing._)
+
+HE-ANGLE
+
+Don’t give us any advice, Prologue. But haven’t you any suggestions?
+
+PROLOGUE
+
+No!--Why, yes, I’ll give you a suggestion. Why don’t you try the
+audience?
+
+HE-ANGLE
+
+The--the audience?
+
+PROLOGUE
+
+Yes. Why don’t you try them? Maybe there is a novelist among them.
+
+SHE-ANGLE
+
+Oh, fine! Maybe there is! Ask them, Prologue, do! I know an Author can
+help us!
+
+PROLOGUE (_turning to audience_)
+
+Is there an Author in the audience? (_Pause._) A Novelist?
+
+AUTHOR (_rising somewhere in the audience_)
+
+Yes. I’m a Novelist. (_He comes forward._) I’ve been thinking it
+was about time some one with a little brains took a hand in these
+proceedings. I’ll be glad to help you.
+
+PROLOGUE
+
+Come right up, Author.
+
+(AUTHOR _goes up on the stage_.)
+
+PROLOGUE (_to_ ANGLES)
+
+Here is your Author.
+
+(_Turns back to his original post._)
+
+AUTHOR
+
+You know, I feel very sorry for you people, not because of the mess
+you’re in but because of the way you tried to get out of it.
+
+HE-ANGLE
+
+What do you mean?
+
+AUTHOR
+
+Why, calling on a playwright and a poet. What good did you ever think
+they could possibly do you? I’m suspicious of them, particularly
+playwrights. I once had a novel, one of my best, adapted for the
+stage. (_He throws up his hands._) You should have seen it when that
+playwright got through with it! I wouldn’t have recognized it myself.
+Only the title remained the same.
+
+SHE-ANGLE
+
+But they’re usually very good in triangles.
+
+AUTHOR (_sniffing_)
+
+Oh, yes. They know how to invent them, but they fail utterly in solving
+them satisfactorily. Why, not so long ago a very prominent playwright
+put two triangles together and tried to pass it off as a circle, but
+they remained triangles. It might be good dialogue, but it’s poor
+mathematics.
+
+HE-ANGLE
+
+Do you think you can help us?
+
+AUTHOR
+
+My boy, I’m sure of it. Of course, it’s largely up to you. If you’re
+willing to take sound advice, I know I can help you. I’ve solved many
+triangles in my time. That’s the kind of novel I have always written,
+and I always see to it that there’s a good moral attached. So do you
+feel it safe to listen to me?
+
+SHE-ANGLE
+
+Oh, yes! (_To_ HE-ANGLE.) I’m sure he’s going to be able to help us!
+
+AUTHOR
+
+Now then. The first thing you’re to do is to send for your husband and
+tell him all about it.
+
+SHE-ANGLE
+
+Tell him! Oh, I can’t do that!
+
+AUTHOR
+
+Yes, you must tell him. Now twenty years ago you would not have
+been able to do that, but now--all is different. Twenty years ago
+it would have meant a duel or a murder. To-day, however, husbands
+are different. I suppose we novelists are really responsible for the
+change. Realism has done it. Realism has made men realize that man
+and wife are two separate and individual entities. The wife, man now
+realizes, has a right to lead her own life as she chooses. And he
+accepts it. Realism has done it!
+
+SHE-ANGLE
+
+But my husband doesn’t.
+
+AUTHOR
+
+Doesn’t what?
+
+SHE-ANGLE
+
+Accept it. He doesn’t believe it. He wouldn’t allow it!
+
+AUTHOR
+
+But how do you know unless you try him? I am willing to stake my
+reputation as a Novelist that he would be amenable to argument.
+
+SHE-ANGLE
+
+But he hates arguments. I never could even argue with him over the
+price of a hat.
+
+AUTHOR
+
+Besides, perhaps he, too, is tired.
+
+SHE-ANGLE
+
+Tired of what?
+
+AUTHOR
+
+Of--of marriage.
+
+SHE-ANGLE
+
+Oh! of marriage. Of me, you mean?
+
+AUTHOR
+
+That is putting it very bluntly. But, since you put it that way--yes.
+
+SHE-ANGLE (_turning to_ HE-ANGLE)
+
+Oh!
+
+HE-ANGLE
+
+See here! What are you trying to insinuate?
+
+AUTHOR
+
+I’m not trying to insinuate anything. My dear man, I am simply
+appealing to your sense of justice. It is not unreasonable to conceive
+of a mutual feeling of surfeit arising in man and wife. That has
+frequently been the case, as you will realize if you read the popular
+novel. We novelists were among the first to recognize it. It will soon
+be put on the stage.
+
+SHE-ANGLE
+
+I’m sure he isn’t tired of me.
+
+AUTHOR
+
+Of you--probably not. But of marriage and its restrictions--yes,
+perhaps.
+
+HE-ANGLE
+
+But, suppose he were tired of marriage. What good would all this be?
+
+AUTHOR
+
+You should be able to come to some arrangement. Divorce, perhaps.
+
+SHE-ANGLE
+
+I hate divorce! It’s so vulgar!
+
+AUTHOR
+
+Oh, not any more. It’s really very smart.
+
+SHE-ANGLE
+
+I don’t like it!
+
+AUTHOR
+
+Well, I don’t know how you’re going to get out of this mess if you
+won’t listen to divorce. There’s no chance of your husband’s dying you
+told the playwright. There are only two other ways out.
+
+SHE-ANGLE
+
+And what are they?
+
+AUTHOR
+
+Murder and free love. I don’t suppose you’ll commit murder?
+
+SHE-ANGLE (_shrinking_)
+
+Oh, no! Murder my husband!
+
+AUTHOR
+
+It’s not so very bad. Really, murder may be so committed that it is
+neither vulgar nor sinful.
+
+SHE-ANGLE
+
+Not sinful!
+
+AUTHOR
+
+Of course not. Murder is not necessarily sinful. It is held to be so
+only as a matter of convenience and because people have a naïve way
+of speaking of one’s having a right to live. After all, no one has
+any real right except to die. Murder is not considered sinful even by
+so-called moralists if it be done for a patriotic reason as in war. To
+ease your conscience, then, can’t you think of a patriotic reason why
+your husband should die? Does he obey the laws?
+
+SHE-ANGLE
+
+Why, yes, I think so. At least as much as any one does. But let’s not
+discuss that. I won’t murder him and I won’t have him murdered!
+
+AUTHOR
+
+Well then. Free love?
+
+SHE-ANGLE
+
+But that certainly is sinful!
+
+AUTHOR
+
+Oh, no! How old-fashioned you are!
+
+SHE-ANGLE
+
+Well, I don’t care if I am old-fashioned. I’m not going to do anything
+that my conscience says is wrong!
+
+AUTHOR
+
+Well, all I have to say is that you’re a queer pair. You’ve been
+unconventional enough to go and fall in love. That does not seem to
+you to be wrong, but you balk at divorce, murder, and free love. I’m
+sure I don’t see any help for you. What you need is not a Novelist or a
+Playwright or a Poet, but a Psychiatrist. Good day!
+
+(_He goes out at left._)
+
+SHE-ANGLE
+
+What a disagreeable man!
+
+HE-ANGLE
+
+Realism did it!
+
+SHE-ANGLE
+
+I don’t believe he’s much of an Author.
+
+HE-ANGLE
+
+Trash is all he writes, probably.
+
+SHE-ANGLE
+
+Free love!
+
+HE-ANGLE
+
+Murder!
+
+(_An_ ACTRESS _rises somewhere in the audience_.)
+
+ACTRESS
+
+Let me help you!
+
+SHE-ANGLE
+
+Who is that?
+
+ACTRESS (_coming toward stage_)
+
+I know I can help you if you’ll let me. I know just how you feel.
+
+(PROLOGUE _assists her to the stage_.)
+
+PROLOGUE
+
+And your name?
+
+ACTRESS
+
+I’m an Actress.
+
+PROLOGUE (_to_ SHE-ANGLE)
+
+She’s an Actress.
+
+SHE-ANGLE (_to_ HE-ANGLE)
+
+She’s an Actress.
+
+HE-ANGLE
+
+An Actress!
+
+ACTRESS (_going to_ SHE-ANGLE _at once sympathetic and patronizing and
+always fully realizing that she is going to have an opportunity to hold
+the center of the stage_:)
+
+You poor dear, I know how you feel. I know.
+
+SHE-ANGLE
+
+I’ve suffered much.
+
+ACTRESS
+
+I know. I know.
+
+HE-ANGLE
+
+Can you help us?
+
+ACTRESS (_turning to him; every movement is deliberate, studied_)
+
+Yes.
+
+HE-ANGLE
+
+I’m sure you can.
+
+ACTRESS
+
+Yes.
+
+SHE-ANGLE
+
+My husband, you know--
+
+ACTRESS
+
+I know.
+
+SHE-ANGLE
+
+How can you help us?
+
+ACTRESS
+
+Ah, you must be deft. You must be subtle. But not too subtle.
+
+SHE-ANGLE
+
+But, go on!
+
+ACTRESS
+
+It is all so very simple. First you must decide what you want. Do you
+want to marry your lover?
+
+SHE-ANGLE
+
+Yes.
+
+ACTRESS
+
+Do you want that most of all?
+
+SHE-ANGLE
+
+Yes, most of all.
+
+ACTRESS
+
+Then you must realize there is only one solution--divorce. As the
+Author says it is very smart. It is not vulgar unless the husband gets
+it. If the wife gets it, divorce is quite all right. Of course, murder
+is all right if you’re a tragedienne. Are you a tragedienne?
+
+SHE-ANGLE
+
+I can’t act!
+
+ACTRESS
+
+Then it must be divorce and you must be the one to obtain it. That is
+very simple. Your husband loves you? Yes?
+
+SHE-ANGLE
+
+I’m sure of it!
+
+ACTRESS
+
+Yes. I know! Yes, your husband loves you. You must, however, show him
+that your love for him has died, that you love another and that you
+must either marry this other man or be his mistress.
+
+SHE-ANGLE
+
+Oh!
+
+ACTRESS
+
+I know how you feel. I know.
+
+SHE-ANGLE
+
+But I can’t do that!
+
+ACTRESS
+
+Oh, yes, you can. You must only be deft. You must act. You must show
+him how you suffer.
+
+SHE-ANGLE
+
+But how?
+
+ACTRESS
+
+I shall show you. We shall have a rehearsal now. I shall be you, and
+your lover will be your husband. You must watch me carefully. Then you
+do as I do.
+
+SHE-ANGLE
+
+Ah, I see.
+
+ACTRESS (_going up toward_ HE-ANGLE)
+
+I shall call him John. It need not be his name, but it will do
+in rehearsal. Besides, I like simple names in emotional scenes.
+Monosyllables are best. They’re so tense when used alone. (_Turning
+again toward_ HE-ANGLE.) You must help me now. I want you to do just
+the things and say the things you would if you were really John. John!
+
+HE-ANGLE
+
+Yes, dear.
+
+ACTRESS
+
+I have something to say to you, John dear.
+
+HE-ANGLE
+
+Yes, dear?
+
+(ACTRESS _sits on stool beside_ HE-ANGLE. _She sits impassive, tense._)
+
+ACTRESS
+
+Won’t you sit down?
+
+(HE-ANGLE _sits_.)
+
+ACTRESS
+
+How long have we been married, John?
+
+HE-ANGLE
+
+Why, five years, dear. Why?
+
+ACTRESS
+
+We’ve been very happy, haven’t we, John?
+
+HE-ANGLE
+
+I don’t know what you mean!
+
+ACTRESS
+
+We’ve been happy, haven’t we? That is all.
+
+HE-ANGLE
+
+Yes, dear. But--
+
+ACTRESS
+
+You’ve loved me, John?
+
+HE-ANGLE
+
+Always.
+
+ACTRESS
+
+You still love me, John?
+
+(HE-ANGLE _wavers a little. He feels that this is getting a bit deep._)
+
+ACTRESS
+
+Don’t be bashful. Remember this is only a rehearsal. Put your arms
+around me and kiss me. John would.
+
+(HE-ANGLE _is not unwilling, but the presence of_ SHE-ANGLE _disturbs
+him somewhat, particularly as the latter is beginning to lose interest
+in the technical side of the rehearsal and to resent the liberties the_
+ACTRESS _is taking with her lover_.)
+
+ACTRESS
+
+Do as I say or I can’t go on. Do you still love me, John?
+
+HE-ANGLE (_taking her in his arms with a mixture of contentment and
+apprehension, he kisses her_)
+
+There, dear. Does that answer your question?
+
+ACTRESS
+
+I’m afraid it does.
+
+HE-ANGLE
+
+Afraid?
+
+ACTRESS
+
+Yes, John, afraid.
+
+HE-ANGLE (_in the spirit of the play_)
+
+But why do you say that?
+
+ACTRESS
+
+Oh, John. I don’t know how I can ever tell you.
+
+HE-ANGLE
+
+Tell me what?
+
+ACTRESS (_parenthetically_)
+
+Oh, you’re doing fine. Tell you that--
+
+HE-ANGLE
+
+Yes?
+
+ACTRESS
+
+Oh, John, I no longer love you!
+
+HE-ANGLE
+
+What?
+
+ACTRESS
+
+Oh, John. It’s true. Kill me! Do anything with me! I don’t deserve your
+love! I’m unworthy of you. Kill me!
+
+HE-ANGLE
+
+You don’t love me!
+
+ACTRESS
+
+Kill me. Oh, John, it’s too true, too terribly true. Would to God I had
+died before I met you. Then you would be saved this. Kill me, John!
+
+HE-ANGLE (_putting his hands firmly on her shoulders and looking her in
+the eyes_)
+
+What do you mean?
+
+ACTRESS (_hanging her head_)
+
+Oh, John, you’re making it very hard for me. I--I love another.
+
+HE-ANGLE
+
+You’re not telling me the truth!
+
+ACTRESS
+
+I never was more serious in my life, John.
+
+HE-ANGLE
+
+You love another!
+
+ACTRESS
+
+I don’t know why I’m telling you all this.
+
+HE-ANGLE
+
+You love another!
+
+ACTRESS
+
+But I love you, too. Honestly, I love you. But in a different sort of
+way. I’ll always love you, John. You’ve been so fair to me.
+
+HE-ANGLE (_taking her suddenly in his arms and kissing her
+passionately_)
+
+It’s a lie. Darling, say it’s a lie!
+
+(_He kisses her again._ SHE-ANGLE _does not like it. She jumps to her
+feet._)
+
+SHE-ANGLE (_coldly_)
+
+That will do!
+
+(HE-ANGLE _and_ ACTRESS _both turn toward her_.)
+
+SHE-ANGLE
+
+That will be enough.
+
+ACTRESS
+
+But we’re not nearly through yet!
+
+SHE-ANGLE
+
+That is what I was afraid of. But I do not think I require any more
+instruction. I have learned much already.
+
+ACTRESS
+
+But what about the rest?
+
+SHE-ANGLE
+
+There isn’t going to be any rest.
+
+ACTRESS
+
+What do you mean?
+
+SHE-ANGLE
+
+I mean that I am quite capable of settling my domestic problems without
+any assistance from the theatrical profession.
+
+ACTRESS
+
+Why! Why!
+
+SHE-ANGLE
+
+I know. I know.
+
+ACTRESS
+
+Of all the insults! Goodness knows, I didn’t want to interfere in your
+business.
+
+SHE-ANGLE
+
+Well, no one asked you to!
+
+ACTRESS
+
+You did. You appealed to the audience.
+
+SHE-ANGLE
+
+I didn’t! All I asked of the audience was a Novelist. I didn’t ask for
+a chorus girl.
+
+ACTRESS
+
+A chorus girl! I’ll have you sued for slander, you silly, ignorant
+doll, you. A chorus girl! You free-lover! You, you mistress!
+
+(ACTRESS _stalks off right_.)
+
+HE-ANGLE
+
+I don’t see why you did that!
+
+SHE-ANGLE (_sarcastically_)
+
+No, of course you don’t. Certainly not!
+
+HE-ANGLE
+
+She isn’t a chorus girl.
+
+SHE-ANGLE
+
+How do you know she isn’t?
+
+HE-ANGLE
+
+Well, I just know. She didn’t look like one, for one thing.
+
+SHE-ANGLE (_too agreeable_)
+
+I thought she did, but I see I was mistaken. I shall not argue with an
+authority.
+
+HE-ANGLE
+
+What do you mean?
+
+SHE-ANGLE
+
+I dare say you know a great deal about chorus girls, and--and
+actresses. I can readily see that you are very familiar with the looks
+and actions of that kind of people. I understand perfectly now how you
+were able to carry your part so well, I--
+
+HE-ANGLE
+
+Stop!
+
+SHE-ANGLE
+
+I shall not stop! What right have you to tell me to stop? As I was
+saying before you so rudely lost your temper, I quite realize that in
+all probability it was not your first scene with an Actress.
+
+HE-ANGLE
+
+I say--!
+
+SHE-ANGLE
+
+You have said quite enough. Quite too much, in fact. It is all very
+plain to me that your intimacy with chorus girls and soubrettes has
+stood you in good stead to-day. I am glad to have learned that before I
+took some rash step. I am very glad to be able to say that whatever may
+be my husband’s faults, he has never frequented stage doors.
+
+HE-ANGLE
+
+What in Heaven’s name has come over you? Are you insane?
+
+SHE-ANGLE
+
+That’s right! Call me names. Strike me! That is all there is left to do!
+
+HE-ANGLE (_he goes up to her and makes her face him_)
+
+You know everything you have said is damned foolishness. You know you
+had no basis for such a scene.
+
+SHE-ANGLE (_in a rage_)
+
+No basis! No basis! To see you take another woman, a painted woman
+probably from a burlesque chorus, to see you take her into your arms,
+burning with passion, your eyes dilated, your cheeks flushed, your
+whole being mad with unholy love. No basis, do you say? To see you do
+that while still my lover! What would it be if you were married to
+me--if you were my husband! Oh, I have been blind! I have a husband
+who has at least the grace to carry on his amours behind my back, if
+he does carry on any. And I would have changed him for you! Oh, I have
+been blind! Go!
+
+HE-ANGLE
+
+But--
+
+SHE-ANGLE
+
+Go! Go! Do not stay another moment! Here comes my husband. I hear him
+outside. If you don’t go I shall have him kill you.
+
+HE-ANGLE
+
+Darling--
+
+SHE-ANGLE
+
+Don’t use that word to me! Go!
+
+HE-ANGLE
+
+You must listen.
+
+SHE-ANGLE
+
+I shall scream!
+
+(_The_ HUSBAND-ANGLE _enters_.)
+
+HUSBAND-ANGLE
+
+Hello, Darling. (_To_ HE-ANGLE.) How are you?
+
+SHE-ANGLE
+
+He’s just hurrying away--to meet the dearest actress in the world who
+has been here to call.
+
+(HE-ANGLE _gives her an ugly look_.)
+
+HE-ANGLE
+
+Good-by.
+
+SHE-ANGLE (_too sweet_)
+
+Good-by!
+
+HUSBAND-ANGLE
+
+Good-by.
+
+(HE-ANGLE _goes_.)
+
+HUSBAND-ANGLE
+
+I’ve got two seats for a good show to-night, dear. It’s a problem play.
+Wonderful actress.
+
+SHE-ANGLE (_kisses him_)
+
+Oh, you darling! I love actresses.
+
+
+CURTAIN
+
+(PROLOGUE _gathers his trumpet sleepily under his arm. He has been half
+asleep during the later action of the play. He looks at the audience in
+some confusion and starts to go through the curtains._)
+
+PROLOGUE
+
+I’ve got to hurry or I’ll be an Epilogue. That wasn’t so hard to
+settle, was it? Thank you.
+
+(_He goes within the curtains._)
+
+
+THE END
+
+
+
+
+_Longer Dramas from Appleton’s List_
+
+
+THE SEA WOMAN’S CLOAK and NOVEMBER EVE
+
+_By Amélie Rives (Princess Troubetzkoy)_
+
+Out of the legends and folklore of Ireland and her own particular
+fantasy she has made two plays as Irish as anything of Yeats’s,
+Synge’s, Lady Gregory’s. As individual. As enchanting.
+
+=The Sea Woman’s Cloak= (3 m. 3 w. and others.). =November Eve= (8 m. 8
+w. and others.). $2.00.
+
+
+MARCH HARES
+
+_By Harry Wagstaff Gribble_
+
+A satire in three acts. First presented in New York at the Bijou
+Theatre, later at the Punch and Judy in the summer of 1921, later
+revived at the Little Theatre. “It offers,” says _Heywood Broun_, “some
+of the most agile dialogue that our theatre has known and reveals its
+author as the possessor of a rare gift for nonsense. And his nonsense
+is not just for the sheer trick of the thing, but molded with satirical
+intent.” _New York Evening Telegram_: “A delightful work, as good as
+Oscar Wilde at his best, sharply defined, brilliant, and deliciously
+amusing.” $2.00.
+
+
+GOAT ALLEY
+
+_By Ernest Howard Culbertson_
+
+_Introduction by Ludwig Lewisohn_
+
+A drama of Negro life in three acts. First presented at the Bijou
+Theatre, New York City, in June, 1921. (7 m. 4 w.). _New York Tribune_:
+“A stunning tragedy. In the characterization there are fine perception
+and vivid writing. There is heartbreak in this play.” _Oakland
+Tribune_: “Splendidly and heroically written. A play to meditate over.”
+$1.75.
+
+
+THE SUN CHASER
+
+_By Jeannette Marks_
+
+_Author of “Three Welsh Plays”_
+
+The search for happiness is the theme of this play, which is both
+realistic and--in the poignant figure of Ambrose Clark, who drunkenly,
+lamely chases the sun--subtly symbolic (11 m. 3 w. 4 g. 1 b.). _John
+Barrymore_: “I have read ‘The Sun Chaser.’ I think it has great beauty
+and a curious sense of mood and imminent vague things. I also think it
+brilliantly characterized.” $1.75.
+
+
+  D. APPLETON AND COMPANY      PUBLISHERS
+
+
+
+
+TRANSCRIBER’S NOTES
+
+
+Page 37: exclamation mark added after “I no longer love you”.
+
+Due to technical reasons, a symbol on the title page could not be
+reproduced in this text edition. It is represented in this edition as
+“¤”.
+
+Hyphenation of “three-cornered” normalised.
+
+*** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 78266 ***
diff --git a/78266-h/78266-h.htm b/78266-h/78266-h.htm
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+    <meta name="format-detection" content="telephone=no,date=no,address=no,email=no,url=no">
+    <title>
+      It’s Time Something Happened | Project Gutenberg
+    </title>
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+    <style>
+
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+/* Transcriber's notes */
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+</head>
+<body>
+<div style='text-align:center'>*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 78266 ***</div>
+
+
+<p class="center">
+  APPLETON SHORT PLAYS<br>
+  No. 4
+</p>
+<p class="p6 center">
+  IT’S TIME SOMETHING<br>
+  HAPPENED
+</p>
+
+<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop">
+
+<div class="chapter">
+<h1>
+  IT’S TIME SOMETHING<br>
+  HAPPENED
+</h1>
+<p class="center p2">
+<span style="font-size: small;">BY</span><br>
+<span style="font-size: x-large;">ARTHUR DOYLE</span>
+</p>
+
+<figure class="figcenter illowp20" id="colophon" style="margin-top: 4em; max-width: 5em;">
+  <img class="w100" src="images/colophon.png" alt="" data-role="presentation">
+</figure>
+
+<p class="center p4" style="font-size: large;">
+  D. APPLETON AND COMPANY<br>
+  NEW YORK <img style="max-width: 1em;" src="images/titlepage_symbol.png" data-role="presentation" alt=""> LONDON <img style="max-width: 1em;" src="images/titlepage_symbol.png" data-role="presentation" alt=""> MCMXXV
+</p>
+</div>
+
+<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop">
+
+<div class="chapter">
+<p class="center">
+<span style="font-size: small;">COPYRIGHT, 1925, BY</span><br>
+  D. APPLETON AND COMPANY
+</p>
+  <hr class="r5">
+<p class="center">
+  <i>All Rights Reserved</i>
+</p>
+
+
+<p>This play is fully protected by the copyright law,
+all requirements of which have been complied with.
+No performance, either professional or amateur, may
+be given without the permission of the publisher,
+D. APPLETON AND COMPANY, 35 West 32nd
+Street, New York, or D. APPLETON AND COMPANY,
+25 Bedford Street, Covent Garden, London,
+England.</p>
+
+<p class="center p4" style="font-size: small;">
+  Copyright, 1924, by Arthur Doyle<br>
+  PRINTED IN THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA
+</p>
+</div>
+
+
+<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop">
+<div class="chapter">
+
+<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_1">[Pg 1]</span></p>
+
+
+  <p class="ph1">
+    IT’S TIME SOMETHING
+    HAPPENED
+  </p>
+  <h2>
+    CAST
+  </h2>
+</div>
+
+
+<div style="display: flex; justify-content: center;">
+<div style="text-align: left; margin-left: 5%; margin-right: 5%;">
+<div><span class="smcap">The Prologue</span></div>
+<div><span class="smcap">The She-Angle</span></div>
+<div><span class="smcap">The He-Angle</span></div>
+<div><span class="smcap">The Playwright</span></div>
+<div><span class="smcap">The Poet</span></div>
+<div><span class="smcap">The Novelist</span></div>
+<div><span class="smcap">The Actress</span></div>
+<div><span class="smcap">The Husband</span>, <i>another He-Angle</i></div>
+</div>
+</div>
+
+<p class="direction nomargin indent">(<i>The</i> <span class="smcap">Prologue</span> <i>steps before the curtain. He is
+dressed in tights, etc., and carries a trumpet.</i>)</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">Prologue</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">Do you know who I am? Yes, I’m the Prologue.
+I’m not really the Prologue: I am really the Exposition.
+But they put tights on me and gave me this
+<span class="direction">(<i>indicating the trumpet</i>)</span> and called me the Prologue.
+I can’t play a trumpet, but it goes well with my tights
+and looks good, and besides it’s something to lean
+on while I’m standing over there. Yes, I stand there
+during the whole play. It’s that kind of play.</p>
+
+<p class="speech indent">There, I’ve told you! Yes, you’re going to see a
+play of a sort. Maybe it won’t be much of a play.
+That will depend on how much of a help you are.
+I suppose I’ve got to explain. That is part of my
+duties as the Exposition.</p>
+
+<p class="speech indent">You see last night a young man (he must have been
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_2">[Pg 2]</span>a very young man) dreamed a dream. I don’t mean
+that you can dream anything but a dream, but it is
+better to say “dreamed a dream” than to say simply,
+“he dreamed.” Now, this young man dreamed about
+triangles—not the kind he ought to have dreamed
+about as a student of higher mathematics and a very
+young man—but the other kind. He must have
+been pretty much of a playgoer, this young man.</p>
+
+<p class="speech indent">As I say, he dreamed of triangles. He dreamed of
+a man and a wife and another man. That’s what is
+known as a triangle, you know. He didn’t give much
+time to the husband, but he did get the wife and the
+other man into a terrible mess. He made them fall
+in love, and he was just about to solve the problem
+of how he was going to get rid of the husband—that’s
+always the problem of triangles, you know—when
+he woke up.</p>
+
+<p class="speech indent">Do you see the difficulty? Here are two angles,
+desperately in love, and they haven’t yet found out
+how they can get rid of the husband angle. And,
+moreover—but no, I’ve been enough Exposition for
+the present. If anything comes up that you don’t
+understand, I’ll try to make it clear to you. I’ll be
+right over here if you want me. If you’re all ready,
+we’ll begin. Just remember that you’re to help the
+angles if you can, please!</p>
+
+<p class="direction">(<i>He walks to one side and folds his arms. The
+curtains part, revealing a blank wall of curtains in
+the rear. Before curtains are three high stools.</i> <i>On
+left stool the</i> <span class="smcap">She-Angle</span> <i>sits and on right stool the</i>
+<span class="smcap">He-Angle</span>, <i>leaving the center stool vacant</i>.)</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">He-Angle</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">Well?</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">She-Angle</span> <span class="direction">(<i>shortly</i>)</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">I didn’t say anything.</p>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_3">[Pg 3]</span></p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">He-Angle</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">Oh!</p>
+
+<p class="direction">(<i>Pause.</i>)</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">She-Angle</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">What?</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">He-Angle</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">I didn’t say anything.</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">She-Angle</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">Oh!</p>
+
+<p class="direction">(<i>Pause.</i>)</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">He-Angle</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">This isn’t getting us anywhere.</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">She-Angle</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">That’s right. Blame it on me!</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">He-Angle</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">Who’s blaming it on you?</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">She-Angle</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">You are!</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">He-Angle</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">I’m not!</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">She-Angle</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">You are!</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">He-Angle</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">I’m not!</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">She-Angle</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">I say you are.</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">He-Angle</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">I’m—Oh, well, have it your own way. But, after
+all, it isn’t getting us anywhere, is it?</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">She-Angle</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">Who said it was?</p>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_4">[Pg 4]</span></p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">He-Angle</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">That’s right. Blame it on me!</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">She-Angle</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">Who’s blaming it on you?</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">He-Angle</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">You are.</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">She-Angle</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">I’m not!</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">He-Angle</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">You— Oh, there we go again. <span class="direction">(<i>Gets off chair and
+paces across stage.</i>)</span> After all, it <i>isn’t</i> getting us
+anywhere.</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">She-Angle</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">Well, I’ve done all I could.</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">He-Angle</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">What have you done?</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">She-Angle</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">I’ve done everything I could.</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">He-Angle</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">So I heard you say. But what have you done?</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">She-Angle</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">I’ve racked my brains for days, if you want to know.</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">He-Angle</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">Oh, surely, it didn’t take all that.</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">She-Angle</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">All what?</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">He-Angle</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">Days.</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">She-Angle</span> <span class="direction">(<i>beginning to sob</i>)</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">There! You’re just like all men. Oh! And I
+thought you different.</p>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_5">[Pg 5]</span></p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">He-Angle</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">Oh, come now! I say, there isn’t any reason for
+that.</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">She-Angle</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">Oh, no! You’d say not. You would.</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">He-Angle</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">Well, what did I say?</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">She-Angle</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">You said—<span class="direction">(<i>Sobs.</i>)</span>—You said I didn’t have any
+brains.</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">He-Angle</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">I didn’t!</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">She-Angle</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">You did.</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">He-Angle</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">I didn’t.</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">She-Angle</span> <span class="direction">(<i>sobbing</i>)</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">You <i>did</i>!</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">He-Angle</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">Oh, well. <span class="direction">(<i>He goes over to her and takes her hand.</i>)</span>
+I’m sorry. Really, I am, if I said it, but I don’t
+think I did.</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">She-Angle</span> <span class="direction">(<i>brightening</i>)</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">Well, you did.</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">He-Angle</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">I’m sorry. <span class="direction">(<i>Puts arm about her.</i>)</span> I am like all
+men, I guess.</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">She-Angle</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">What do you mean by that?</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">He-Angle</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">Oh, nothing. But what are you going to do about it?</p>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_6">[Pg 6]</span></p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">She-Angle</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">I’ve been trying to tell you all along, if you’d only
+let me.</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">He-Angle</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">What have you been trying to tell me?</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">She-Angle</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">What I’m going to do about it.</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">He-Angle</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">Oh!</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">She-Angle</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">What?</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">He-Angle</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">Nothing. I just said “Oh”!</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">She-Angle</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">Oh!</p>
+
+<p class="direction">(<i>Pause.</i>)</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">He-Angle</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">Well?</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">She-Angle</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">I didn’t say anything.</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">He-Angle</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">Oh!</p>
+
+<p class="direction">(<i>Pause.</i>)</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">She-Angle</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">You see, I will not just run away from my husband.
+I say I won’t!</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">He-Angle</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">No! Certainly not. But what are you going to do?
+You know I love you. Where do I come in?</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">She-Angle</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">Well, I’ve sent for a playwright.</p>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_7">[Pg 7]</span></p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">He-Angle</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">Oh!</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">She-Angle</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">Yes.</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">He-Angle</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">But what good is a playwright?</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">She-Angle</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">Why, don’t you see? To get us out of this mess.</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">He-Angle</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">But what <i>good</i> is he?</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">She-Angle</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">Why, don’t you see?</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">He-Angle</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">No.</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">She-Angle</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">Why, playwrights have to do with angles, and triangles,
+and all that sort of thing. He should be able
+to help us.</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">He-Angle</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">Oh!</p>
+
+<p class="direction">(<i>Pause.</i>)</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">She-Angle</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">Well?</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">He-Angle</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">I didn’t say anything.</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">She-Angle</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">Oh!</p>
+
+<p class="direction">(<i>Pause.</i>)</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">She-Angle</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">But I think you might.</p>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_8">[Pg 8]</span></p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">He-Angle</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">Might what?</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">She-Angle</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">Say something. What do you think of it—my plan?</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">He-Angle</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">Oh! it’s all right, I guess.</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">She-Angle</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">You guess!</p>
+
+<p class="direction">(<i>Looks as if on the verge of tears.</i>)</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">He-Angle</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">Why, of course it is. It’s fine; that’s what it is.
+It’s great! But suppose he won’t be able to help us?</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">She-Angle</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">He—<span class="direction">(<i>Looks off left.</i>)</span>—Here he comes! He will!</p>
+<p class="direction">(<i>Enter</i> <span class="smcap">Playwright</span> <i>from left</i>. <i>Both</i> <span class="smcap">He-Angle</span>
+<i>and</i> <span class="smcap">She-Angle</span> <i>look at him curiously</i>. <span class="smcap">He-Angle</span>
+<i>goes back to his stool</i>.)</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">Playwright</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">You sent for me?</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">She-Angle</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">So you’re really a playwright! Oh!</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">Playwright</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">Well, rather. You sent for me?</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">She-Angle</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">Yes. I sent for you.</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">Playwright</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">Well?</p>
+
+<div style="display: table;">
+  <div class="speaker" style="display: table-cell; padding-right: 0.3em;">
+    <span class="smcap">He-Angle</span><br>
+    <span class="smcap">She-Angle</span>
+  </div>
+  <div style="display: table-cell; vertical-align: middle; font-size: 2em;">
+    }
+  </div>
+  <div class="direction" style="display: table-cell; vertical-align: middle;">
+    (<i>together</i>)
+  </div>
+</div>
+
+<p class="speech">I didn’t say anything.</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">Playwright</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">But what did you send for me for?</p>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_9">[Pg 9]</span></p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">She-Angle</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">I told you that—in my letter. You know—my husband.
+We’ve got to get free from him.</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">Playwright</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">Oh, yes! Husband—triangle. H’m.</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">She-Angle</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">I thought that you, being a playwright—</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">Playwright</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">Yes, yes, of course.</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">She-Angle</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">You see, it’s really a very serious matter.</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">Playwright</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">H’m! Oh, not so serious!</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">He-Angle</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">But what are we going to do about it?</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">Playwright</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">Not so fast, young man! Don’t be impatient.</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">He-Angle</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">But we’re tired just being—angles.</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">Playwright</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">Of course. H’m! Have you told him?</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">She-Angle</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">Whom?</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">Playwright</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">Why, your husband.</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">She-Angle</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">No.</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">Playwright</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">No, of course not. But it is all very plain.</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">He-Angle</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">What is all very plain?</p>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_10">[Pg 10]</span></p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">Playwright</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">It’s all very simple. All you have to do is to run
+away.</p>
+
+<div style="display: table;">
+  <div class="speaker" style="display: table-cell; padding-right: 0.3em;">
+    <span class="smcap">He-Angle</span><br>
+    <span class="smcap">She-Angle</span>
+  </div>
+  <div style="display: table-cell; vertical-align: middle; font-size: 2em;">
+    }
+  </div>
+  <div class="speech" style="display: table-cell; vertical-align: middle;">
+    Run away!
+  </div>
+</div>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">Playwright</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">Why, of course. Together!</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">She-Angle</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">But—but the scandal.</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">Playwright</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">Ah, of course—the scandal. Wonderful! Think of
+it. The whole town talking. Ah, Pinero! Everyone
+that’s worth while. Of course!</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">She-Angle</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">But I don’t want them to talk!</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">Playwright</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">Don’t be foolish! Think of the dialogue!</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">He-Angle</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">The what?</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">Playwright</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">The dialogue. Think of what people will say!
+Sparkling, eh, what! Scintillating! Think of it!
+Ah, Wilde!</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">She-Angle</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">But I don’t want them to talk!</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">Playwright</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">Well, of all the—! But they will talk!</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">He-Angle</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">No!</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">Playwright</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">Yes! Of course they will. Do you think they’re
+fools? If they didn’t talk, why—why there wouldn’t
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_11">[Pg 11]</span>be any sense to triangles. You angles must take the
+consequences. If you must angle, you must be talked
+about.</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">She-Angle</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">No! I refuse!</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">He-Angle</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">Certainly not!</p>
+
+<p class="direction">(<i>Pause.</i>)</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">Playwright</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">Well, then, if you insist on shutting out dialogue.
+There—have you thought of—How is your husband?</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">She-Angle</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">Why, well, thank you! Why—What do you mean?</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">Playwright</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">I mean—doesn’t he have anything?</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">She-Angle</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">Doesn’t he have anything?</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">Playwright</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">Why, yes—apoplexy or locomotor ataxia, or diabetes,
+or something?</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">She-Angle</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">Why—why, no!</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">Playwright</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">Pshaw, that’s too bad.</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">She-Angle</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">But I don’t know what you mean!</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">Playwright</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">Why, don’t you see? If he had something, he’d be
+bound to die at the right moment—which is now.
+Sort of an unwritten law among husbands, you know.
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_12">[Pg 12]</span>They always do. They’re bound to in such cases as
+this—if everything else fails.</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">She-Angle</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">Well, he won’t.</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">He-Angle</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">No, he’s healthy as a fool! Besides, he wouldn’t have
+the decency.</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">She-Angle</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">He would! He would die, if he could. I know he
+would!</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">He-Angle</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">He wouldn’t! He’s too mean!</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">She-Angle</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">He isn’t! Besides, I don’t want him to die.</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">He-Angle</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">Who said you did?</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">She-Angle</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">You did!</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">He-Angle</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">I didn’t!</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">She-Angle</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">You <i>did</i>! You <i>did</i>! You <i>did</i>!</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">He-Angle</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">Oh, well!</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">Playwright</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">Come now, this isn’t getting us anywhere. We’re
+not through yet. There’s still another chance.</p>
+
+<div style="display: table;">
+  <div class="speaker" style="display: table-cell; padding-right: 0.3em;">
+    <span class="smcap">He-Angle</span><br>
+    <span class="smcap">She-Angle</span>
+  </div>
+  <div style="display: table-cell; vertical-align: middle; font-size: 2em;">
+    }
+  </div>
+  <div class="direction" style="display: table-cell; vertical-align: middle;">
+    (<i>together</i>)
+  </div>
+</div>
+
+<p class="speech">What is it?</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">Playwright</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">Hire a yacht!</p>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_13">[Pg 13]</span></p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">She-Angle</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">A yacht?</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">Playwright</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">Of course. Hire a yacht and get shipwrecked.</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">She-Angle</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">Oh!</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">He-Angle</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">Get shipwrecked?</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">Playwright</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">Of course. Hire a yacht and go to the South Sea
+Islands—Fiji will do. Get shipwrecked—it’s very
+easy to manage. Then, out there, under the open sky
+and the stars—nature will tell.</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">She-Angle</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">Nature will tell?</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">Playwright</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">Why, yes. You’ll fight—you <span class="direction">(<i>to</i> <span class="smcap">He-Angle</span>)</span> and
+he. Let the best man win! You’ll win—unless you
+lose. In either case—<span class="direction">(<i>To</i> <span class="smcap">She-Angle</span>.)</span> In either
+case you’ll be satisfied. If your husband wins, you’ll
+find that all along you wanted your husband to win.
+<span class="direction">(<i>Indicating</i> <span class="smcap">He-Angle</span>.)</span> If he wins, you’ll be happy
+to know that the man destiny picked for you won.
+It’s a fine place, the South Seas. You’re always
+satisfied.</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">She-Angle</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">But I don’t want to go to the South Seas!</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">He-Angle</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">Neither do I. It’s too lonely.</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">Playwright</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">Ah, no! It isn’t lonely any more. The South Seas
+have become very popular with the people who want
+to read their Ten Favorite Books and who never
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_14">[Pg 14]</span>would read them anywhere else. You’d not be lonely—if
+you enjoy Shakespeare and Walt Whitman.</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">She-Angle</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">I hate Shakespeare, and I hate Walt Whitman! I
+won’t go! A fortune teller once told me I’d die by
+drowning, and I won’t go aboard a ship!</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">Playwright</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">Not even to Europe?</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">She-Angle</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">Not even to Europe.</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">Playwright</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">How vulgar! <span class="direction">(<i>He walks toward off stage.</i>)</span> Good
+day!</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">She-Angle</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">What, are you going?</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">Playwright</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">Yes, I’m going. What do you expect me to do?
+Stay here and be insulted?</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">He-Angle</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">Be insulted?</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">Playwright</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">Yes, be insulted. When you sent for me, I thought
+you would follow my advice. I have more to give,
+but I refuse to have my ideas laughed at. They’ve
+always been successful before—they still are in a
+thousand cases. But you think you’re too good, and
+your husband is too damn healthy, and yourself too
+superstitious. Good day.</p>
+
+<p class="direction">(<i>He lifts his hat and passes out right. Both</i> <span class="smcap">He-Angle</span>
+<i>and</i> <span class="smcap">She-Angle</span> <i>look disconsolately after
+him</i>.)</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">She-Angle</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">Well?</p>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_15">[Pg 15]</span></p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">He-Angle</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">I didn’t say anything.</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">She-Angle</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">Oh!</p>
+
+<p class="direction">(<i>Pause.</i>)</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">He-Angle</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">I told you so!</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">She-Angle</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">What did you tell me?</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">He-Angle</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">That a fool playwright wouldn’t be any help.</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">She-Angle</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">You didn’t!</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">He-Angle</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">I did! Now if you’d followed my plan in the first
+place!</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">She-Angle</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">You didn’t have any plan.</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">He-Angle</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">I did. You know I did. My friend, the Poet. If
+you’d only sent for him—He’d be able to help us.
+A poet’s got imagination. That’s what we need—imagination.
+He’s got it—my friend, the Poet.</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">She-Angle</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">Why didn’t <i>you</i> send for him?</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">He-Angle</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">I did, even if you wouldn’t. I asked him to come,
+and he said he’d be right over.</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">She-Angle</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">Well, why didn’t he come?</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">He-Angle</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">He’d been here long ago if it hadn’t been for that
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_16">[Pg 16]</span>fool of a playwright. I never liked playwrights anyway.
+Poets for me every time. They’re so practical.</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">She-Angle</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">Well, why doesn’t he come?</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">He-Angle</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">He probably is here; no doubt he’s been here all the
+time that fool Playwright was here, only I didn’t
+want to have them meet. They don’t hitch very well,
+Poets and Playwrights. At least any more. <span class="direction">(<i>He
+looks toward</i> <span class="smcap">Prologue</span>.)</span> Is the Poet here?</p>
+
+<p class="direction">(<i>The</i> <span class="smcap">Prologue</span> <i>looks off stage right</i>.)</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">Prologue</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">Yes, the Poet is here.</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">He-Angle</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">Send him in.</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">Prologue</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">I beg your pardon! I’m a Prologue—not a butler.
+However, I’ll call him if you insist. But please
+address me more respectfully in the future.</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">He-Angle</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">I beg your pardon, Prologue. Please call the Poet.</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">Prologue</span> <span class="direction">(<i>beckoning off stage right</i>)</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">Poet.</p>
+
+<p class="direction">(<i>Enter</i> <span class="smcap">Poet</span> <i>from right. He is fat, bald, and of a
+rosy complexion.</i>)</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">Poet</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">Hullo!</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">He-Angle</span> <span class="direction">(<i>getting off stool</i>)</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">Hullo! <span class="direction">(<i>Turns to</i> <span class="smcap">She-Angle</span>.)</span> May I introduce
+Poet?</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">She-Angle</span> <span class="direction">(<i>bowing stiffly</i>)</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">How do you do!</p>
+
+<p class="direction">(<i>She is not a bit impressed.</i>)</p>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_17">[Pg 17]</span></p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">Poet</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">You sent for me?</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">He-Angle</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">Yes. As I explained in my letter, we want advice
+on how to solve our triangle.</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">Poet</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">But I’m a Poet. I always was rotten at mathematics.</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">He-Angle</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">But this is not a mathematical triangle. <span class="direction">(<i>He gets
+back on stool.</i>)</span> You see <span class="direction">(<i>indicating</i> <span class="smcap">She-Angle</span>)</span>,
+we’re angles.</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">Poet</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">Oh, I see! <span class="direction">(<i>To</i> <span class="smcap">She-Angle</span>.)</span> He’s complimentary,
+eh, what? Haw!</p>
+
+<p class="direction">(<span class="smcap">She-Angle</span> <i>sniffs, very much upstage, at the pun</i>.)</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">He-Angle</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">We need your advice. Imagination! It’s going to
+take imagination to get us out of this mess. That’s
+why I sent for you.</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">Poet</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">Thank you. Well, then, what have you done?</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">He-Angle</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">Nothing.</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">She-Angle</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">A Playwright tried to help us, but—</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">Poet</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">But couldn’t. Of course! Tawdry stuff, I suppose.
+I know just about what he would suggest. It goes
+well enough on the stage, but it isn’t art.</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">She-Angle</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">Ah! Art!</p>
+
+<p class="speech"><span class="pagenum" id="Page_18">[Pg 18]</span></p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">Poet</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">Of course. You want to be artistic, don’t you?</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">She-Angle</span> <span class="direction">(<i>beginning to melt</i>)</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">Yes. Oh, yes!</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">Poet</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">H’m.</p>
+
+<p class="direction">(<i>Pause.</i>)</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">He-Angle</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">Well?</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">Poet</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">I didn’t say anything.</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">She-Angle</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">Oh!</p>
+
+<p class="direction">(<i>Pause.</i>)</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">Poet</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">There’s really not much to be done. It’s all so simple,
+really, and all so artistic. Poetry! I tell you
+there’s poetry there.</p>
+
+<div style="display: table;">
+  <div class="speaker" style="display: table-cell; padding-right: 0.3em;">
+    <span class="smcap">He-Angle</span><br>
+    <span class="smcap">She-Angle</span>
+  </div>
+  <div style="display: table-cell; vertical-align: middle; font-size: 2em;">
+    }
+  </div>
+  <div class="direction" style="display: table-cell; vertical-align: middle;">
+    (<i>together</i>)
+  </div>
+</div>
+
+<p class="speech">Where?</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">Poet</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">There.</p>
+
+<div style="display: table;">
+  <div class="speaker" style="display: table-cell; padding-right: 0.3em;">
+    <span class="smcap">He-Angle</span><br>
+    <span class="smcap">She-Angle</span>
+  </div>
+  <div style="display: table-cell; vertical-align: middle; font-size: 2em;">
+    }
+  </div>
+  <div class="direction" style="display: table-cell; vertical-align: middle;">
+    (<i>together</i>)
+  </div>
+</div>
+
+<p class="speech">Oh!</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">Poet</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">Yes, there’s poetry there, and art. It’s so artistic to
+suffer.</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">She-Angle</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">To suffer?</p>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_19">[Pg 19]</span></p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">Poet</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">Yes, so artistic. A sacrifice on the altar of living
+love. Oh, divine sacrifice! Oh, the beauty and the
+art of suffering!</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">He-Angle</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">Say, I don’t get all that you’re raving about, but if
+you have the idea that we aren’t suffering, you’re
+way off. We are. And it may be artistic, but it’s
+damn uncomfortable.</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">Poet</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">Uncomfortable. Yes. So artistic. The altar of
+living love. Purple love, deep, mystic, fragrant, yes.
+So uncomfortable, but so beautiful.</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">She-Angle</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">But I thought you would be able to help us.</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">Poet</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">Ah, I am able. So able! Already I have envisioned
+your life. So heroic! So hopeless!</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">He-Angle</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">Hopeless?</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">Poet</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">Yes. Two lives sacrificed on the altar of living, hopeless
+love. Deathless love, fragrant and so purple!</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">He-Angle</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">Come out of it and explain all this nonsense to us!
+Can you help us escape from this awful three-cornered
+prison?</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">Poet</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">Ah, yes, three-cornered. The three-cornered prison
+of love! Fetters forged in the vermillion fire of love.
+No blue flame to love, but deep vermillion girandoles
+of passion! So vermillion!</p>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_20">[Pg 20]</span></p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">She-Angle</span> <span class="direction">(<i>she has stood it as long as she can</i>)</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">He’s mad!</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">Poet</span> <span class="direction">(<i>starting up</i>)</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">What?</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">He-Angle</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">I sent for you, thinking that with your imagination
+you would be able to help us. But it seems that
+you’ve got too much imagination. Have you any
+suggestion or haven’t you?</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">Poet</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">Why, of course I have. Haven’t I been telling you
+all along?</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">She-Angle</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">Well, how am I to get rid of my husband?</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">Poet</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">Ah, madam. You’ll not do that. Ah, no! So comfortable
+but so inartistic.</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">She-Angle</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">Not get rid of him! But what shall I do?</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">Poet</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">Live. Madam, live—a living sacrifice on the altar
+of a living love!</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">She-Angle</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">You mean—? You don’t mean—?</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">Poet</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">Yes.</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">He-Angle</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">But where do I come in?</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">Poet</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">Ah, my boy. That is it. You, too, can suffer so
+beautifully. Eternally! Love is eternity. Love her,
+my boy, and suffer from afar.</p>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_21">[Pg 21]</span></p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">He-Angle</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">Not marry her?</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">Poet</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">No, no! Not marry her! That would not be art.
+You must deny your love, lock it in your heart and go.</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">He-Angle</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">Go where?</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">Poet</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">That doesn’t matter. Just go. In your heart a love
+denied. So denied!</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">He-Angle</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">But I’m not going. I’m going——</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">Poet</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">But I thought you said you weren’t.</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">He-Angle</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">I’m going to marry her!</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">Poet</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">No! Good Lord, no! Anything but that. Seal up
+your hearts with the seals of eternity and deny your
+love. There only is Poetry! There only is Art!
+Seal up your hearts, I say. But don’t marry.</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">She-Angle</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">I will marry him!</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">Poet</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">You, too! Think of it. Why, you are spoiling your
+great opportunity of sacrificing yourself on the altar
+of deathless love. You may be <i>sung</i>, if you seal
+your hearts; but marry, and you’ll go and have children.
+Ugh!</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">She-Angle</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">I love children.</p>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_22">[Pg 22]</span></p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">Poet</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">Ugh! Deny your purple love, and suffer the eternal
+pangs of deathless, hopeless yearning. I’ll sing you.
+Why, I’ve already thought of two new rhymes for
+love and a beautiful simile. Think of it. Deny your
+love and have your story told to the world in similes!</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">She-Angle</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">I hate similes!</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">Poet</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">So heroic! So beautiful! So deathless to deny a
+hopeless love. Beside it the human sacrifices of
+golden Chichen-Itza were pale and anemic. I’m holding
+out to you the straw of immortality.</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">She-Angle</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">I don’t want to be immortal. I want children.</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">Poet</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">Oh, well. Then have your children. But don’t, in
+the name of art and beauty, don’t have legitimate
+children. Legitimate children are so prosy. A poet
+can’t sing of them.</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">She-Angle</span> <span class="direction">(<i>feeling her cheeks</i>)</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">Oh! Oh! Why, the idea!</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">He-Angle</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">Come, now, that’s going a bit too far! I don’t think
+you can help us. In fact, I think everything you’ve
+said about the most ridiculous rubbish I ever heard.</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">Poet</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">Rubbish! Fool! Fools! <span class="direction">(<i>He stalks toward left.</i>)</span>
+I’m through with you. Love your damn heads off
+and marry and have children, dozens of them. I
+hope they’re all cross-eyed! Fools!</p>
+
+<p class="direction">(<i>He goes off left angrily</i>, <span class="smcap">He-Angle</span> <i>and</i> <span class="smcap">She-Angle</span>
+<i>sit on their stools, a picture of resentment
+and outraged respectability</i>.)</p>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_23">[Pg 23]</span></p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">She-Angle</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">I told you so.</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">He-Angle</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">What did you tell me?</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">She-Angle</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">I knew he couldn’t help us. A poet! He’s no poet.
+Fat and bald. Ugh! I think he ought to be arrested
+as an impostor. Why, the idea of his talking about
+illegit—about—ah—children!</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">He-Angle</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">And I thought he was a friend of mine! I always
+liked poetry, too.</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">She-Angle</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">Deny our love! Live and suffer! I don’t believe he
+knows what love is. Or life either. And then
+those—children!</p>
+
+<p class="direction">(<i>She feels her cheeks again. Pause while both sit
+thoughtfully.</i>)</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">He-Angle</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">Well?</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">She-Angle</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">I didn’t say anything.</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">He-Angle</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">Oh!</p>
+
+<p class="direction">(<i>Pause.</i>)</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">She-Angle</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">But what are we to <i>do</i>?</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">He-Angle</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">I don’t know. This is an awful mess. Maybe Poet
+is right and we’ll have to go on as we are—just
+angles.</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">She-Angle</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">He isn’t right! and I won’t go on just being an angle.</p>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_24">[Pg 24]</span></p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">He-Angle</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">But what are we going to do?</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">She-Angle</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">I’m sure I don’t know—yet. But we’ll find a way.</p>
+
+<p class="direction">(<i>Pause while they both seem to concentrate.</i>)</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">She-Angle</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">I have it!</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">He-Angle</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">What?</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">She-Angle</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">Why didn’t we think of it before?</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">He-Angle</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">What?</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">She-Angle</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">Why, Prologue! Why don’t we ask Prologue?</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">He-Angle</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">That’s right. Why didn’t we?</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">She-Angle</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">Oh, Prologue!</p>
+
+<p class="direction">(<span class="smcap">Prologue</span>, <i>who has been leaning half asleep on his
+trumpet, turns to the</i> <span class="smcap">Angles</span>.)</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">Prologue</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">Yes?</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">She-Angle</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">We want your help. We need your advice.</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">Prologue</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">Oh, no!</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">She-Angle</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">What do you mean?</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">Prologue</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">I mean you’re not going to drag me into this mess.
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_25">[Pg 25]</span>I’m a Prologue and don’t know anything about
+Angles—any more than I do about playing this trumpet
+We Prologues have a lot to contend with these
+days. They make us do all sorts of things—even to
+shifting scenery at times. But so far they have kept
+us out of scandals, and I’m not going to start in, as
+old as I am, getting into such scrapes.</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">She-Angle</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">But, Prologue, we don’t want you to get into any
+scrapes. We only want you to give us advice on how
+to solve the triangle.</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">Prologue</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">Oh, yes, that’s all you want me to do. But say,
+haven’t I seen plays before? Haven’t I seen innocent
+bystanders dragged into such messes as this, even into
+the divorce courts, just because of a little good advice
+given at the wrong time.</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">She-Angle</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">But this is the right time.</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">Prologue</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">How can I be sure of that? Besides, as I said before,
+I’m the Prologue and not an information bureau or
+ways and means committee.</p>
+
+<p class="direction">(<i>He turns back to the side of the proscenium where
+he has been standing.</i>)</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">He-Angle</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">Don’t give us any advice, Prologue. But haven’t
+you any suggestions?</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">Prologue</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">No!—Why, yes, I’ll give you a suggestion. Why
+don’t you try the audience?</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">He-Angle</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">The—the audience?</p>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_26">[Pg 26]</span></p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">Prologue</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">Yes. Why don’t you try them? Maybe there is a
+novelist among them.</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">She-Angle</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">Oh, fine! Maybe there is! Ask them, Prologue,
+do! I know an Author can help us!</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">Prologue</span> <span class="direction">(<i>turning to audience</i>)</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">Is there an Author in the audience? <span class="direction">(<i>Pause.</i>)</span> A
+Novelist?</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">Author</span> <span class="direction">(<i>rising somewhere in the audience</i>)</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">Yes. I’m a Novelist. <span class="direction">(<i>He comes forward.</i>)</span> I’ve
+been thinking it was about time some one with a little
+brains took a hand in these proceedings. I’ll be glad
+to help you.</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">Prologue</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">Come right up, Author.</p>
+
+<p class="direction">(<span class="smcap">Author</span> <i>goes up on the stage</i>.)</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">Prologue</span> <span class="direction">(<i>to</i> <span class="smcap">Angles</span>)</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">Here is your Author.</p>
+
+<p class="direction">(<i>Turns back to his original post.</i>)</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">Author</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">You know, I feel very sorry for you people, not because
+of the mess you’re in but because of the way
+you tried to get out of it.</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">He-Angle</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">What do you mean?</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">Author</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">Why, calling on a playwright and a poet. What
+good did you ever think they could possibly do you?
+I’m suspicious of them, particularly playwrights. I
+once had a novel, one of my best, adapted for the
+stage. <span class="direction">(<i>He throws up his hands.</i>)</span> You should have
+seen it when that playwright got through with it!
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_27">[Pg 27]</span>I wouldn’t have recognized it myself. Only the title
+remained the same.</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">She-Angle</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">But they’re usually very good in triangles.</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">Author</span> <span class="direction">(<i>sniffing</i>)</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">Oh, yes. They know how to invent them, but they
+fail utterly in solving them satisfactorily. Why, not
+so long ago a very prominent playwright put two
+triangles together and tried to pass it off as a circle,
+but they remained triangles. It might be good dialogue,
+but it’s poor mathematics.</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">He-Angle</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">Do you think you can help us?</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">Author</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">My boy, I’m sure of it. Of course, it’s largely up
+to you. If you’re willing to take sound advice, I
+know I can help you. I’ve solved many triangles in
+my time. That’s the kind of novel I have always
+written, and I always see to it that there’s a good
+moral attached. So do you feel it safe to listen
+to me?</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">She-Angle</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">Oh, yes! <span class="direction">(<i>To</i> <span class="smcap">He-Angle</span>.)</span> I’m sure he’s going to
+be able to help us!</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">Author</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">Now then. The first thing you’re to do is to send
+for your husband and tell him all about it.</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">She-Angle</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">Tell him! Oh, I can’t do that!</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">Author</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">Yes, you must tell him. Now twenty years ago you
+would not have been able to do that, but now—all is
+different. Twenty years ago it would have meant a
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_28">[Pg 28]</span>duel or a murder. To-day, however, husbands are
+different. I suppose we novelists are really responsible
+for the change. Realism has done it. Realism
+has made men realize that man and wife are two
+separate and individual entities. The wife, man now
+realizes, has a right to lead her own life as she
+chooses. And he accepts it. Realism has done it!</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">She-Angle</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">But my husband doesn’t.</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">Author</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">Doesn’t what?</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">She-Angle</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">Accept it. He doesn’t believe it. He wouldn’t
+allow it!</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">Author</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">But how do you know unless you try him? I am
+willing to stake my reputation as a Novelist that he
+would be amenable to argument.</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">She-Angle</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">But he hates arguments. I never could even argue
+with him over the price of a hat.</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">Author</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">Besides, perhaps he, too, is tired.</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">She-Angle</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">Tired of what?</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">Author</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">Of—of marriage.</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">She-Angle</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">Oh! of marriage. Of me, you mean?</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">Author</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">That is putting it very bluntly. But, since you put it
+that way—yes.</p>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_29">[Pg 29]</span></p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">She-Angle</span> <span class="direction">(<i>turning to</i> <span class="smcap">He-Angle</span>)</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">Oh!</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">He-Angle</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">See here! What are you trying to insinuate?</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">Author</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">I’m not trying to insinuate anything. My dear man,
+I am simply appealing to your sense of justice. It
+is not unreasonable to conceive of a mutual feeling
+of surfeit arising in man and wife. That has frequently
+been the case, as you will realize if you read
+the popular novel. We novelists were among the
+first to recognize it. It will soon be put on the stage.</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">She-Angle</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">I’m sure he isn’t tired of me.</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">Author</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">Of you—probably not. But of marriage and its
+restrictions—yes, perhaps.</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">He-Angle</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">But, suppose he were tired of marriage. What good
+would all this be?</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">Author</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">You should be able to come to some arrangement.
+Divorce, perhaps.</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">She-Angle</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">I hate divorce! It’s so vulgar!</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">Author</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">Oh, not any more. It’s really very smart.</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">She-Angle</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">I don’t like it!</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">Author</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">Well, I don’t know how you’re going to get out of
+this mess if you won’t listen to divorce. There’s no
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_30">[Pg 30]</span>chance of your husband’s dying you told the playwright.
+There are only two other ways out.</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">She-Angle</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">And what are they?</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">Author</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">Murder and free love. I don’t suppose you’ll commit
+murder?</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">She-Angle</span> <span class="direction">(<i>shrinking</i>)</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">Oh, no! Murder my husband!</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">Author</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">It’s not so very bad. Really, murder may be so committed
+that it is neither vulgar nor sinful.</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">She-Angle</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">Not sinful!</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">Author</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">Of course not. Murder is not necessarily sinful. It
+is held to be so only as a matter of convenience and
+because people have a naïve way of speaking of one’s
+having a right to live. After all, no one has any real
+right except to die. Murder is not considered sinful
+even by so-called moralists if it be done for a patriotic
+reason as in war. To ease your conscience, then,
+can’t you think of a patriotic reason why your husband
+should die? Does he obey the laws?</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">She-Angle</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">Why, yes, I think so. At least as much as any one
+does. But let’s not discuss that. I won’t murder
+him and I won’t have him murdered!</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">Author</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">Well then. Free love?</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">She-Angle</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">But that certainly is sinful!</p>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_31">[Pg 31]</span></p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">Author</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">Oh, no! How old-fashioned you are!</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">She-Angle</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">Well, I don’t care if I am old-fashioned. I’m not
+going to do anything that my conscience says is
+wrong!</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">Author</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">Well, all I have to say is that you’re a queer pair.
+You’ve been unconventional enough to go and fall in
+love. That does not seem to you to be wrong, but
+you balk at divorce, murder, and free love. I’m
+sure I don’t see any help for you. What you need is
+not a Novelist or a Playwright or a Poet, but a
+Psychiatrist. Good day!</p>
+
+<p class="direction">(<i>He goes out at left.</i>)</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">She-Angle</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">What a disagreeable man!</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">He-Angle</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">Realism did it!</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">She-Angle</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">I don’t believe he’s much of an Author.</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">He-Angle</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">Trash is all he writes, probably.</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">She-Angle</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">Free love!</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">He-Angle</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">Murder!</p>
+
+<p class="direction">(<i>An</i> <span class="smcap">Actress</span> <i>rises somewhere in the audience</i>.)</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">Actress</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">Let me help you!</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">She-Angle</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">Who is that?</p>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_32">[Pg 32]</span></p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">Actress</span> <span class="direction">(<i>coming toward stage</i>)</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">I know I can help you if you’ll let me. I know just
+how you feel.</p>
+
+<p class="direction">(<span class="smcap">Prologue</span> <i>assists her to the stage</i>.)</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">Prologue</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">And your name?</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">Actress</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">I’m an Actress.</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">Prologue</span> <span class="direction">(<i>to</i> <span class="smcap">She-Angle</span>)</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">She’s an Actress.</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">She-Angle</span> <span class="direction">(<i>to</i> <span class="smcap">He-Angle</span>)</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">She’s an Actress.</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">He-Angle</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">An Actress!</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">Actress</span> <span class="direction">(<i>going to</i> <span class="smcap">She-Angle</span> <i>at once sympathetic
+and patronizing and always fully realizing that she is
+going to have an opportunity to hold the center of
+the stage</i>:)</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">You poor dear, I know how you feel. I know.</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">She-Angle</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">I’ve suffered much.</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">Actress</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">I know. I know.</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">He-Angle</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">Can you help us?</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">Actress</span> <span class="direction">(<i>turning to him; every movement is deliberate,
+studied</i>)</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">Yes.</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">He-Angle</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">I’m sure you can.</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">Actress</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">Yes.</p>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_33">[Pg 33]</span></p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">She-Angle</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">My husband, you know—</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">Actress</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">I know.</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">She-Angle</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">How can you help us?</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">Actress</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">Ah, you must be deft. You must be subtle. But
+not too subtle.</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">She-Angle</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">But, go on!</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">Actress</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">It is all so very simple. First you must decide what
+you want. Do you want to marry your lover?</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">She-Angle</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">Yes.</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">Actress</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">Do you want that most of all?</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">She-Angle</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">Yes, most of all.</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">Actress</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">Then you must realize there is only one solution—divorce.
+As the Author says it is very smart. It is
+not vulgar unless the husband gets it. If the wife
+gets it, divorce is quite all right. Of course, murder
+is all right if you’re a tragedienne. Are you a tragedienne?</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">She-Angle</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">I can’t act!</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">Actress</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">Then it must be divorce and you must be the one to
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_34">[Pg 34]</span>obtain it. That is very simple. Your husband loves
+you? Yes?</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">She-Angle</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">I’m sure of it!</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">Actress</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">Yes. I know! Yes, your husband loves you. You
+must, however, show him that your love for him has
+died, that you love another and that you must either
+marry this other man or be his mistress.</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">She-Angle</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">Oh!</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">Actress</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">I know how you feel. I know.</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">She-Angle</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">But I can’t do that!</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">Actress</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">Oh, yes, you can. You must only be deft. You
+must act. You must show him how you suffer.</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">She-Angle</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">But how?</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">Actress</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">I shall show you. We shall have a rehearsal now.
+I shall be you, and your lover will be your husband.
+You must watch me carefully. Then you do as I do.</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">She-Angle</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">Ah, I see.</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">Actress</span> <span class="direction">(<i>going up toward</i> <span class="smcap">He-Angle</span>)</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">I shall call him John. It need not be his name, but
+it will do in rehearsal. Besides, I like simple names
+in emotional scenes. Monosyllables are best. They’re
+so tense when used alone. <span class="direction">(<i>Turning again toward</i>
+<span class="smcap">He-Angle</span>.)</span> You must help me now. I want you
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_35">[Pg 35]</span>to do just the things and say the things you would
+if you were really John. John!</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">He-Angle</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">Yes, dear.</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">Actress</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">I have something to say to you, John dear.</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">He-Angle</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">Yes, dear?</p>
+
+<p class="direction">(<span class="smcap">Actress</span> <i>sits on stool beside</i> <span class="smcap">He-Angle</span>. <i>She sits
+impassive, tense.</i>)</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">Actress</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">Won’t you sit down?</p>
+
+<p class="direction">(<span class="smcap">He-Angle</span> <i>sits</i>.)</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">Actress</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">How long have we been married, John?</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">He-Angle</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">Why, five years, dear. Why?</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">Actress</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">We’ve been very happy, haven’t we, John?</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">He-Angle</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">I don’t know what you mean!</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">Actress</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">We’ve been happy, haven’t we? That is all.</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">He-Angle</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">Yes, dear. But—</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">Actress</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">You’ve loved me, John?</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">He-Angle</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">Always.</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">Actress</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">You still love me, John?</p>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_36">[Pg 36]</span></p>
+
+<p class="direction">(<span class="smcap">He-Angle</span> <i>wavers a little. He feels that this is
+getting a bit deep.</i>)</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">Actress</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">Don’t be bashful. Remember this is only a rehearsal.
+Put your arms around me and kiss me. John would.</p>
+
+<p class="direction"><span class="smcap">(He-Angle</span> <i>is not unwilling, but the presence of</i>
+<span class="smcap">She-Angle</span> <i>disturbs him somewhat, particularly as
+the latter is beginning to lose interest in the technical
+side of the rehearsal and to resent the liberties the</i>
+<span class="smcap">Actress</span> <i>is taking with her lover</i>.)</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">Actress</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">Do as I say or I can’t go on. Do you still love me,
+John?</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">He-Angle</span> <span class="direction">(<i>taking her in his arms with a mixture of
+contentment and apprehension, he kisses her</i>)</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">There, dear. Does that answer your question?</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">Actress</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">I’m afraid it does.</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">He-Angle</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">Afraid?</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">Actress</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">Yes, John, afraid.</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">He-Angle</span> <span class="direction">(<i>in the spirit of the play</i>)</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">But why do you say that?</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">Actress</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">Oh, John. I don’t know how I can ever tell you.</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">He-Angle</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">Tell me what?</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">Actress</span> <span class="direction">(<i>parenthetically</i>)</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">Oh, you’re doing fine. Tell you that—</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">He-Angle</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">Yes?</p>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_37">[Pg 37]</span></p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">Actress</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">Oh, John, I no longer love you!</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">He-Angle</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">What?</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">Actress</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">Oh, John. It’s true. Kill me! Do anything with
+me! I don’t deserve your love! I’m unworthy of
+you. Kill me!</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">He-Angle</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">You don’t love me!</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">Actress</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">Kill me. Oh, John, it’s too true, too terribly true.
+Would to God I had died before I met you. Then
+you would be saved this. Kill me, John!</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">He-Angle</span> <span class="direction">(<i>putting his hands firmly on her shoulders
+and looking her in the eyes</i>)</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">What do you mean?</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">Actress</span> <span class="direction">(<i>hanging her head</i>)</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">Oh, John, you’re making it very hard for me. I—I
+love another.</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">He-Angle</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">You’re not telling me the truth!</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">Actress</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">I never was more serious in my life, John.</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">He-Angle</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">You love another!</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">Actress</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">I don’t know why I’m telling you all this.</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">He-Angle</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">You love another!</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">Actress</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">But I love you, too. Honestly, I love you. But in a
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_38">[Pg 38]</span>different sort of way. I’ll always love you, John.
+You’ve been so fair to me.</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">He-Angle</span> <span class="direction">(<i>taking her suddenly in his arms and kissing
+her passionately</i>)</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">It’s a lie. Darling, say it’s a lie!</p>
+
+<p class="direction">(<i>He kisses her again.</i> <span class="smcap">She-Angle</span> <i>does not like it.
+She jumps to her feet.</i>)</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">She-Angle</span> <span class="direction">(<i>coldly</i>)</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">That will do!</p>
+
+<p class="direction">(<span class="smcap">He-Angle</span> <i>and</i> <span class="smcap">Actress</span> <i>both turn toward her</i>.)</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">She-Angle</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">That will be enough.</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">Actress</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">But we’re not nearly through yet!</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">She-Angle</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">That is what I was afraid of. But I do not think I
+require any more instruction. I have learned much
+already.</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">Actress</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">But what about the rest?</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">She-Angle</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">There isn’t going to be any rest.</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">Actress</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">What do you mean?</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">She-Angle</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">I mean that I am quite capable of settling my domestic
+problems without any assistance from the theatrical
+profession.</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">Actress</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">Why! Why!</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">She-Angle</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">I know. I know.</p>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_39">[Pg 39]</span></p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">Actress</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">Of all the insults! Goodness knows, I didn’t want
+to interfere in your business.</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">She-Angle</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">Well, no one asked you to!</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">Actress</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">You did. You appealed to the audience.</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">She-Angle</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">I didn’t! All I asked of the audience was a Novelist.
+I didn’t ask for a chorus girl.</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">Actress</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">A chorus girl! I’ll have you sued for slander, you
+silly, ignorant doll, you. A chorus girl! You free-lover!
+You, you mistress!</p>
+
+<p class="direction">(<span class="smcap">Actress</span> <i>stalks off right</i>.)</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">He-Angle</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">I don’t see why you did that!</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">She-Angle</span> <span class="direction">(<i>sarcastically</i>)</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">No, of course you don’t. Certainly not!</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">He-Angle</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">She isn’t a chorus girl.</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">She-Angle</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">How do you know she isn’t?</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">He-Angle</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">Well, I just know. She didn’t look like one, for one
+thing.</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">She-Angle</span> <span class="direction">(<i>too agreeable</i>)</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">I thought she did, but I see I was mistaken. I shall
+not argue with an authority.</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">He-Angle</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">What do you mean?</p>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_40">[Pg 40]</span></p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">She-Angle</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">I dare say you know a great deal about chorus girls,
+and—and actresses. I can readily see that you are
+very familiar with the looks and actions of that kind
+of people. I understand perfectly now how you
+were able to carry your part so well, I—</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">He-Angle</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">Stop!</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">She-Angle</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">I shall not stop! What right have you to tell me to
+stop? As I was saying before you so rudely lost
+your temper, I quite realize that in all probability it
+was not your first scene with an Actress.</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">He-Angle</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">I say—!</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">She-Angle</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">You have said quite enough. Quite too much, in
+fact. It is all very plain to me that your intimacy
+with chorus girls and soubrettes has stood you in good
+stead to-day. I am glad to have learned that before
+I took some rash step. I am very glad to be able to
+say that whatever may be my husband’s faults, he
+has never frequented stage doors.</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">He-Angle</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">What in Heaven’s name has come over you? Are
+you insane?</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">She-Angle</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">That’s right! Call me names. Strike me! That is
+all there is left to do!</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">He-Angle</span> <span class="direction">(<i>he goes up to her and makes her face him</i>)</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">You know everything you have said is damned foolishness.
+You know you had no basis for such a scene.</p>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_41">[Pg 41]</span></p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">She-Angle</span> <span class="direction">(<i>in a rage</i>)</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">No basis! No basis! To see you take another
+woman, a painted woman probably from a burlesque
+chorus, to see you take her into your arms, burning
+with passion, your eyes dilated, your cheeks flushed,
+your whole being mad with unholy love. No basis,
+do you say? To see you do that while still my lover!
+What would it be if you were married to me—if you
+were my husband! Oh, I have been blind! I have
+a husband who has at least the grace to carry on his
+amours behind my back, if he does carry on any.
+And I would have changed him for you! Oh, I have
+been blind! Go!</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">He-Angle</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">But—</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">She-Angle</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">Go! Go! Do not stay another moment! Here
+comes my husband. I hear him outside. If you
+don’t go I shall have him kill you.</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">He-Angle</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">Darling—</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">She-Angle</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">Don’t use that word to me! Go!</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">He-Angle</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">You must listen.</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">She-Angle</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">I shall scream!</p>
+
+<p class="direction">(<i>The</i> <span class="smcap">Husband-Angle</span> <i>enters</i>.)</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">Husband-Angle</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">Hello, Darling. <span class="direction">(<i>To</i> <span class="smcap">He-Angle</span>.)</span> How are you?</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">She-Angle</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">He’s just hurrying away—to meet the dearest actress
+in the world who has been here to call.</p>
+
+<p class="direction">(<span class="smcap">He-Angle</span> <i>gives her an ugly look</i>.)</p>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_42">[Pg 42]</span></p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">He-Angle</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">Good-by.</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">She-Angle</span> <span class="direction">(<i>too sweet</i>)</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">Good-by!</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">Husband-Angle</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">Good-by.</p>
+
+<p class="direction">(<span class="smcap">He-Angle</span> <i>goes</i>.)</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">Husband-Angle</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">I’ve got two seats for a good show to-night, dear.
+It’s a problem play. Wonderful actress.</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">She-Angle</span> <span class="direction">(<i>kisses him</i>)</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">Oh, you darling! I love actresses.</p>
+
+
+<p class="center p2" style="font-size: small; margin-bottom: 2em;">CURTAIN</p>
+
+<p class="direction">(<span class="smcap">Prologue</span> <i>gathers his trumpet sleepily under his
+arm. He has been half asleep during the later action
+of the play. He looks at the audience in some confusion
+and starts to go through the curtains.</i>)</p>
+
+<p class="speaker"><span class="smcap">Prologue</span></p>
+
+<p class="speech">I’ve got to hurry or I’ll be an Epilogue. That wasn’t
+so hard to settle, was it? Thank you.</p>
+
+<p class="direction">(<i>He goes within the curtains.</i>)</p>
+
+
+<p class="center p2" style="font-size: small;">THE END</p>
+
+
+<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop">
+<div class="chapter">
+  <h2 class="nobreak" id="Longer_Dramas_from_Appletons_List">
+    <i>Longer Dramas from Appleton’s List</i>
+  </h2>
+</div>
+
+
+<p class="ph3">THE SEA WOMAN’S CLOAK
+and NOVEMBER EVE</p>
+
+<p class="center"><i>By Amélie Rives (Princess Troubetzkoy)</i></p>
+
+<p>Out of the legends and folklore of Ireland and her own particular
+fantasy she has made two plays as Irish as anything of Yeats’s,
+Synge’s, Lady Gregory’s. As individual. As enchanting.</p>
+
+<p><b>The Sea Woman’s Cloak</b> (3 m. 3 w. and others.). <b>November
+Eve</b> (8 m. 8 w. and others.). $2.00.</p>
+
+
+<p class="ph3">MARCH HARES</p>
+
+<p class="center"><i>By Harry Wagstaff Gribble</i></p>
+
+<p>A satire in three acts. First presented in New York at the Bijou
+Theatre, later at the Punch and Judy in the summer of 1921, later
+revived at the Little Theatre. “It offers,” says <i>Heywood Broun</i>,
+“some of the most agile dialogue that our theatre has known and
+reveals its author as the possessor of a rare gift for nonsense. And
+his nonsense is not just for the sheer trick of the thing, but molded
+with satirical intent.” <i>New York Evening Telegram</i>: “A delightful
+work, as good as Oscar Wilde at his best, sharply defined, brilliant,
+and deliciously amusing.” $2.00.</p>
+
+
+<p class="ph3">GOAT ALLEY</p>
+
+<p class="center"><i>By Ernest Howard Culbertson</i></p>
+
+<p class="center"><i>Introduction by Ludwig Lewisohn</i></p>
+
+<p>A drama of Negro life in three acts. First presented at the Bijou
+Theatre, New York City, in June, 1921. (7 m. 4 w.). <i>New York
+Tribune</i>: “A stunning tragedy. In the characterization there are fine
+perception and vivid writing. There is heartbreak in this play.”
+<i>Oakland Tribune</i>: “Splendidly and heroically written. A play to
+meditate over.” $1.75.</p>
+
+
+<p class="ph3">THE SUN CHASER</p>
+
+<p class="center"><i>By Jeannette Marks</i></p>
+
+<p class="center"><i>Author of “Three Welsh Plays”</i></p>
+
+<p>The search for happiness is the theme of this play, which is both
+realistic and—in the poignant figure of Ambrose Clark, who drunkenly,
+lamely chases the sun—subtly symbolic (11 m. 3 w. 4 g. 1 b.).
+<i>John Barrymore</i>: “I have read ‘The Sun Chaser.’ I think it has great
+beauty and a curious sense of mood and imminent vague things.
+I also think it brilliantly characterized.” $1.75.</p>
+
+
+<div style="display: table; width: 100%;">
+<div style="display: table-cell;">D. APPLETON AND COMPANY</div>
+<div style="display: table-cell; text-align: right;">PUBLISHERS</div>
+</div>
+
+
+<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop">
+<div class="chapter">
+<div class="transnote">
+  <h2 class="nobreak" id="TRANSCRIBERS_NOTES">
+    TRANSCRIBER’S NOTES
+  </h2>
+
+
+<p><a href="#Page_37">Page 37</a>: exclamation mark added after “I no longer love you”.</p>
+
+<p>Hyphenation of “three-cornered” normalised.</p>
+</div>
+</div>
+<div style='text-align:center'>*** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 78266 ***</div>
+</body>
+</html>
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+in the PUBLIC DOMAIN IN THE UNITED STATES.
+
+Procedures for determining public domain status are described in
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+
+No investigation has been made concerning possible copyrights in
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+status under the laws that apply to them.
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+Project Gutenberg (https://www.gutenberg.org) public repository for eBook #78266
+(https://www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/78266)