diff options
Diffstat (limited to '7736.txt')
| -rw-r--r-- | 7736.txt | 1386 |
1 files changed, 1386 insertions, 0 deletions
diff --git a/7736.txt b/7736.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..8b51c69 --- /dev/null +++ b/7736.txt @@ -0,0 +1,1386 @@ +The Project Gutenberg EBook of Tomlinsoniana, by Edward Bulwer-Lytton + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: Tomlinsoniana + +Author: Edward Bulwer-Lytton + +Release Date: March 16, 2009 [EBook #7736] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ASCII + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK TOMLINSONIANA *** + + + + +Produced by Bryan Sherman and David Widger + + + + + + + + +TOMLINSONIANA + +By Edward Bulwer-Lytton + +OR, + +THE POSTHUMOUS WRITINGS + +OF THE CELEBRATED + +AUGUSTUS TOMLINSON, + +PROFESSOR OF MORAL PHILOSOPHY IN THE UNIVERSITY OF ------- + +ADDRESSED TO HIS PUPILS, + +AND COMPRISING + + + I + MAXIMS ON THE POPULAR ART OF CREATING, ILLUSTRATED BY TEN CHARACTERS, +BEING AN INTRODUCTION TO THAT NOBLE SCIENCE BY WHICH EVERY MAN MAY +BECOME HIS OWN ROGUE. + + II + BRACHYLOGIA; OR, ESSAYS CRITICAL, SENTIMENTAL, MORAL, AND ORIGINAL. + + + + + + + INTRODUCTION. + +Having lately been travelling in Germany, I spent some time at that +University in which Augustus Tomlinson presided as Professor of Moral +Philosophy. I found that that great man died, after a lingering illness, +in the beginning of the year 1822, perfectly resigned to his fate, and +conversing, even on his deathbed, on the divine mysteries of Ethical +Philosophy. Notwithstanding the little peccadilloes to which I have +alluded in the latter pages of "Paul Clifford," and which his pupils +deemed it advisable to hide from-- + + "The gaudy, babbling, and remorseless day," + +his memory was still held in a tender veneration. Perhaps, as in the +case of the illustrious Burns, the faults of a great man endear to you +his genius. In his latter days the PROFESSOR was accustomed to wear a +light-green silk dressing-gown, and, as he was perfectly bald, a +little black velvet cap; his small-clothes were pepper and salt. These +interesting facts I learned from one of his pupils. His old age was +consumed in lectures, in conversation, and in the composition of the +little _morceaux_ of wisdom we present to the public. In these essays +and maxims, short as they are, he seems to have concentrated the wisdom +of his industrious and honourable life. With great difficulty I procured +from his executors the manuscripts which were then preparing for the +German press. A valuable consideration induced those gentlemen to become +philanthropic, and to consider the inestimable blessings they would +confer upon this country by suffering me to give the following essays +to the light, in their native and English dress, on the same day whereon +they appear in Germany in the graces of foreign disguise. + +At an age when, while Hypocrisy stalks, simpers, sidles, struts, and +hobbles through the country, Truth also begins to watch her adversary in +every movement, I cannot but think these lessons of Augustus Tomlinson +peculiarly well-timed. I add them as a fitting Appendix to a Novel that +may not inappropriately be termed a Treatise on Social Frauds; and if +they contain within them that evidence of diligent attention and that +principle of good in which the satire of Vice is only the germ of its +detection, they may not, perchance, pass wholly unnoticed; nor be even +condemned to that hasty reading in which the Indifference of to-day is +but the prelude to the Forgetfulness of to-morrow. + + + + + + CONTENTS. + + + MAXIMS ON THE POPULAR ART OF CHEATING, Illustrated by Ten + Characters, being an Introduction to that noble Science by which + every Man may become his own Rogue + + BRACHYLOGIA: + On the Morality taught by the Rich to the Poor + Emulation + Caution against the Scoffers of "Humbug" + Popular Wrath at Individual Imprudence + Dum deflnat Amnis + Self-Glorifiers + Thought on Fortune + Wit, and Truth + Auto-theology + Glorious Constitution + Answer to the Popular Cant that Goodness in a Statesman is + better than Ability + Common-sense + Love, and Writers on Love + The Great Entailed + The Regeneration of a Knave + Style + + + + + + + MAXIMS + + ON + + THE POPULAR ART OF CHEATING, + + ILLUSTRATED BY TEN CHARACTERS; + +BEING AN INTRODUCTION TO THAT NOBLE SCIENCE BY WHICH EVERY MAN MAY +BECOME HIS OWN ROGUE. + + Set a thief to catch a thief.---Proverb. + + + I. + +Whenever you are about to utter something astonishingly false, always +begin with, "It is an acknowledged fact," etc. Sir Robert Filmer was +a master of this method of writing. Thus, with what a solemn face that +great man attempted to cheat! "It is a truth undeniable that there +cannot be any multitude of men whatsoever, either great or small, etc., +but that in the same multitude there is one man amongst them that in +nature hath a right to be King of all the rest,--as being the next heir +to Adam!" + + + + II. + +When you want something from the public, throw the blame of the asking +on the most sacred principle you can find. A common beggar can read you +exquisite lessons on this the most important maxim in the art of popular +cheating. "For the love of God, sir, a penny!" + + + + III. + +Whenever on any matter, moral, sentimental, or political, you find +yourself utterly ignorant, talk immediately of "The Laws of Nature." +As those laws are written nowhere,--[Locke]--they are known by nobody. +Should any ask you how you happen to know such or such a doctrine as the +dictate of Nature, clap your hand to your heart and say, "Here!" + + + + IV. + +Yield to a man's tastes, and he will yield to your interest. + + + + V. + +When you talk to the half-wise, twaddle; when you talk to the ignorant, +brag; when you talk to the sagacious, look very humble, and ask their +opinion. + + + + VI. + +Always bear in mind, my beloved pupils, that the means of livelihood +depend not on the virtues, but the vices of others. The lawyer, the +statesman, the hangman, the physician, are paid by our sins; nay, even +the commoner professions--the tailor, the coachmaker, the upholsterer, +the wine-merchant--draw their fortunes, if not their existence, from +those smaller vices, our foibles. Vanity is the figure prefixed to the +ciphers of Necessity. Wherefore, oh my beloved pupils! never mind what a +man's virtues are; waste no time in learning them. Fasten at once on his +infirmities. Do to the One as, were you an honest man, you would do to +the Many. This is the way to be a rogue individually, as a lawyer is a +rogue professionally. Knaves are like critics,--[Nullum simile est +quod idem.--EDITOR.]--"flies that feed on the sore part, and would have +nothing to live on were the body in health."--[Tatler]. + + + + VII. + +Every man finds it desirable to have tears in his eyes at times,--one +has a sympathy with humid lids. Providence hath beneficially provided +for this want, and given to every man, in its divine forethought, +misfortunes painful to recall. Hence, probably, those human calamities +which the atheist rails against! Wherefore, when you are uttering +some affecting sentiment to your intended dupe, think of the greatest +misfortune you ever had in your life; habit will soon make the +association of tears and that melancholy remembrance constantly +felicitous. I knew, my dear pupils, a most intelligent Frenchman, who +obtained a charming legacy from an old poet by repeating the bard's +verses with streaming eyes. "How were you able to weep at will?" asked I +(I was young then, my pupils). "Je pensois," answered he, "a mon +pauvre pere, qui est mort." The union of sentiment with the ability of +swindling made that Frenchman a most fascinating creature! + + + + VIII. + +Never commit the error of the over-shrewd, and deem human nature worse +than it is. Human nature is so damnably good that if it were not for +human art, we knaves could not live. The primary elements of a man's +mind do not sustain us; it is what he owes to "the pains taken with his +education," and "the blessings of civilized society!" + + + + IX. + +Whenever you doubt, my pupils, whether your man be a quack or not, +decide the point by seeing if your man be a positive asserter. Nothing +indicates imposture like confidence. Volney saith well, "that the most +celebrated of charlatans--[Mahomet]--and the boldest of tyrants begins +his extraordinary tissue of lies by these words, 'There is no doubt in +this book!'" + + + + X. + +There is one way of cheating people peculiar to the British Isles, and +which, my pupils, I earnestly recommend you to import hither,--cheating +by subscription. People like to be plundered in company; dupery then +grows into the spirit of party. Thus one quack very gravely requested +persons to fit up a ship for him and send him round the world as its +captain to make discoveries; and another patriotically suggested that +L10,000 should be subscribed--for what?--to place him in parliament! +Neither of these fellows could have screwed an individual out of a +shilling had he asked him for it in a corner; but a printed list, with +"His Royal Highness" at the top, plays the devil with English guineas. +A subscription for individuals may be considered a society for the +ostentatious encouragement of idleness, impudence, beggary, imposture, +and other public virtues! + + + + XI. + +Whenever you read the life of a great man, I mean a man eminently +successful, you will perceive all the qualities given to him are the +qualities necessary even to a mediocre rogue. "He possessed," saith the +biographer, "the greatest address [namely, the faculty of wheedling]; +the most admirable courage [namely, the faculty of bullying]; the most +noble fortitude [namely, the faculty of bearing to be bullied]; the most +singular versatility [namely, the faculty of saying one thing to one +man, and its reverse to another]; and the most wonderful command over +the mind of his contemporaries [namely, the faculty of victimizing +their purses or seducing their actions]." Wherefore, if luck cast you in +humble life, assiduously study the biographies of the great, in order to +accomplish you as a rogue; if in the more elevated range of society, be +thoroughly versed in the lives of the roguish: so shall you fit yourself +to be eminent! + + + + XII. + +The hypocrisy of virtue, my beloved pupils, is a little out of fashion +nowadays; it is sometimes better to affect the hypocrisy of vice. Appear +generously profligate, and swear with a hearty face that you do not +pretend to be better than the generality of your neighbours. Sincerity +is not less a covering than lying; a frieze great-coat wraps you as well +as a Spanish cloak. + + + + XIII. + +When you are about to execute some great plan, and to defraud a number +of persons, let the first one or two of the allotted number be the +cleverest, shrewdest fellows you can find. You have then a reference +that will alone dupe the rest of the world. "That Mr. Lynx is +satisfied," will amply suffice to satisfy Mr. Mole of the honesty of +your intentions! Nor are shrewd men the hardest to take in; they rely on +their strength: invulnerable heroes are necessarily the bravest. Talk to +them in a business-like manner, and refer your design at once to their +lawyer. My friend John Shamberry was a model in this grand stroke of +art. He swindled twelve people to the tune of some thousands, with no +other trouble than it first cost him to swindle--whom do you think?--the +Secretary to the Society for the Suppression of Swindling! + + + + XIV. + +Divide your arts into two classes,--those which cost you little labour, +those which cost much. The first,--flattery, attention, answering +letters by return of post, walking across a street to oblige the man you +intend to ruin; all these you must never neglect. The least man is worth +gaining at a small cost. And besides, while you are serving yourself, +you are also obtaining the character of civility, diligence, +and good-nature. But the arts which cost you much labour--a long +subservience to one testy individual; aping the semblance of a virtue, +a quality, or a branch of learning which you do not possess, to a person +difficult to blind,--all these never begin except for great ends, worth +not only the loss of time, but the chance of detection. Great pains +for small gains is the maxim of the miser. The rogue should have more +_grandeur d'ame!_--[Greatness of soul]. + + + + XV. + +Always forgive. + + + + XVI. + +If a man owe you a sum of money--pupils though you be of mine, you may +once in your lives be so silly as to lend--and you find it difficult +to get it back, appeal, not to his justice, but to his charity. The +components of justice flatter few men! Who likes to submit to an +inconvenience because he ought to do it,--without praise, without +even self--gratulation? But charity, my dear friends, tickles up human +ostentation deliciously. Charity implies superiority; and the feeling of +superiority is most grateful to social nature. Hence the commonness of +charity, in proportion to other virtues, all over the world; and hence +you will especially note that in proportion as people are haughty +and arrogant, will they laud almsgiving and encourage charitable +institutions. + + + + XVII. + +Your genteel rogues do not sufficiently observe the shrewdness of the +vulgar ones. The actual beggar takes advantage of every sore; but the +moral swindler is unpardonably dull as to the happiness of a physical +infirmity. To obtain a favour, neglect no method that may allure +compassion. I knew a worthy curate who obtained two livings by the +felicity of a hectic cough, and a younger brother who subsisted for ten +years on his family by virtue of a slow consumption. + + + + XVIII. + +When you want to possess yourself of a small sum, recollect that the +small sum be put into juxtaposition with a great. I do not express +myself clearly--take an example. In London there are sharpers who +advertise L70,000 to be advanced at four per cent; principals only +conferred with. The gentleman wishing for such a sum on mortgage goes to +see the advertiser; the advertiser says he must run down and look at the +property on which the money is to be advanced; his journey and expenses +will cost him a mere trifle,--say, twenty guineas. Let him speak +confidently; let the gentleman very much want the money at the interest +stated, and three to one but our sharper gets the twenty guineas,--so +paltry a sum in comparison to L70,000 though so serious a sum had the +matter related to halfpence! + + + + XIX. + +Lord Coke has said: "To trace an error to its fountainhead is to refute +it." Now, my young pupils, I take it for granted that you are interested +in the preservation of error; you do not wish it, therefore, to be +traced to its fountain head. Whenever, then, you see a sharp fellow +tracking it up, you have two ways of settling the matter. You may say, +with a smile, "Nay, now, sir, you grow speculative,--I admire your +ingenuity;" or else look grave, colour up, and say, "I fancy, sir, there +is no warrant for this assertion in the most sacred of all authorities!" +The Devil can quote Scripture, you know; and a very sensible Devil it is +too! + + + + XX. + +Rochefoucauld has said: "The hate of favourites is nothing else but the +love of favour." The idea is a little cramped; the hate we bear to any +man is only the result of our love for some good which we imagine +he possesses, or which, being in our possession, we imagine he has +attacked. Thus envy, the most ordinary species of hate, arises from our +value for the glory, or the plate, or the content we behold; and revenge +is born from our regard for our fame that has been wounded, or our acres +molested, or our rights invaded. But the most noisy of all hatreds is +hatred for the rich, from love for the riches. Look well on the poor +devil who is always railing at coaches and four! Book him as a man to be +bribed! + + + + XXI. + +My beloved pupils, few have yet sufficiently studied the art by which +the practice of jokes becomes subservient to the science of swindlers. +The heart of an inferior is always fascinated by a jest. Men know this +in the knavery of elections. Know it now, my pupils, in the knavery of +life! When you slap yon cobbler so affectionately on the back, it is +your own fault if you do not slap your purpose into him at the same +time. Note how Shakspeare (whom study night and day,--no man hath +better expounded the mysteries of roguery!) causes his grandest and most +accomplished villain, Richard III., to address his good friends, the +murderers, with a jocular panegyric on that hardness of heart on which, +doubtless, those poor fellows most piqued themselves,-- + + "Your eyes drop millstones, where fools' eyes drop tears-- + I like you, lads!" + +Can't you fancy the knowing grin with which the dogs received this +compliment, and the little sly punch in the stomach with which Richard +dropped those loving words, "I like you, lads!" + + + + XXII. + +As good-nature is the characteristic of the dupe, so should good-temper +be that of the knave; the two fit into each other like joints. Happily, +good-nature is a Narcissus, and falls in love with its own likeness. +And good-temper is to good-nature what the Florimel of snow was to the +Florimel of flesh,--an exact likeness made of the coldest materials. + + + + XXIII. + + BEING THE PRAISE OF KNAVERY. + +A knave is a philosopher, though a philosopher is not necessarily a +knave. What hath a knave to do with passions? Every irregular desire he +must suppress; every foible he must weed out; his whole life is spent in +the acquisition of knowledge: for what is knowledge?--the discovery of +human errors! He is the only man always consistent yet ever examining; +he knows but one end, yet explores every means; danger, ill-repute, all +that terrify other men, daunt not him; he braves all, but is saved from +all: for I hold that a knave ceaseth to be the knave--he hath passed +into the fool--the moment mischief befalls him. He professes the art +of cheating; but the art of cheating is to cheat without peril. He is +_teres et rotundas_; strokes fly from the lubricity of his polish, and +the shiftings of his circular formation. He who is insensible of the +glory of his profession, who is open only to the profit, is no disciple +of mine. I hold of knavery, as Plato hath said of virtue, "Could it be +seen incarnate, it would beget a personal adoration!" None but those who +are inspired by a generous enthusiasm will benefit by the above maxims, +nor (and here I warn you solemnly from the sacred ground, till your head +be uncovered, and your feet be bared in the awe of veneration) enter +with profit upon the following descriptions of character,--that Temple +of the Ten Statutes, wherein I have stored and consecrated the most +treasured relics of my travelled thoughts and my collected experience. + + + + + + TEN CHARACTERS. + + I. + +The mild, irresolute, good-natured, and indolent man. These qualities +are accompanied with good feelings, but no principles. The want of +firmness evinces also the want of any peculiar or deeply rooted system +of thought. A man conning a single and favourite subject of meditation +grows wedded to one or the other of the opinions on which he revolves. A +man universally irresolute has generally led a desultory life, and never +given his attention long together to one thing. This is a man most easy +to cheat, my beloved friends; you cheat him even with his eyes open. +Indolence is dearer to him than all things; and if you get him alone and +put a question to him point blank, he cannot answer, No. + + + + II. + +The timid, suspicious, selfish, and cold man. Generally a character of +this description is an excellent man of business, and would at first +sight seem to baffle the most ingenious swindler. But you have +one hope,--I have rarely found it deceive me,--this man is usually +ostentatious. A cold, a fearful, yet a worldly person has ever an eye +upon others; he notes the effect certain things produce on them; he is +anxious to learn their opinions, that he may not transgress; he likes to +know what the world say of him; nay, his timidity makes him anxious +to repose his selfishness on their good report. Hence he grows +ostentatious, likes that effect which is favourably talked of, and that +show which wins consideration. At him on this point, my pupils! + + + + III. + +The melancholy, retired, sensitive, intellectual character. A very good +subject this for your knaveries, my young friends, though it requires +great discrimination and delicacy. This character has a considerable +portion of morbid suspicion and irritation belonging to it,--against +these you must guard; at the same time its prevailing feature is a +powerful but unacknowledged vanity. It is generally a good opinion of +himself, and a feeling that he is not appreciated by others, that make +a man reserved; he deems himself unfit for the world because of +the delicacy of his temperament, and the want of a correspondent +insensibility in those he sees! This is your handle to work on. He is +peculiarly flattered, too, on the score of devotion and affection; he +exacts in love, as from the world, too much. He is a Lara, whose females +must be Medoras; and even his male friends should be extremely like +Kaleds! Poor man! you see how easily he can be duped. Mem.--Among +persons of this character are usually found those oddities, humours, +and peculiarities which are each a handle. No man lives out of the world +with impunity to the solidity of his own character. Every new outlet to +the humour is a new inlet to the heart. + + + + IV. + +The bold, generous, frank, and affectionate man,--usually a person of +robust health. His constitution keeps him in spirits, and his spirits +in courage and in benevolence. He is obviously not a hard character, my +good young friends, for you to deceive; for he wants suspicion, and all +his good qualities lay him open to you. But beware his anger when he +finds you out! He is a terrible Othello when his nature is once stung. +Mem.--A good sort of character to seduce into illegal practices; makes +a tolerable traitor or a capital smuggler. You yourselves must never +commit any illegal offence,--aren't there cat's-paws for the +chestnuts? As all laws are oppressions (only necessary and often sacred +oppressions, which you need not explain to him), and his character +is especially hostile to oppression, you easily seduce the person we +describe into braving the laws of his country. Yes! the bold, generous, +frank, and affectionate man has only to be born in humble life to be +sure of a halter! + + + + V. + +The bold, selfish, close, grasping man will in all probability cheat +you, my dear friends. For such a character makes the master-rogue, the +stuff from which Nature forms a Richard the Third. You had better leave +such a man quite alone. He is bad even to serve. He breaks up his tools +when he has done with them. No, you can do nothing with him, my good +young men! + + + + VI. + +The eating, drinking, unthoughtful, sensual, mechanical man,--the +ordinary animal. Such a creature has cunning, and is either cowardly or +ferocious; seldom in these qualities he preserves a medium. He is not +by any means easy to dupe. Nature defends her mental brutes by the +thickness of their hide. Win his mistress if possible; she is the best +person to manage him. Such creatures are the natural prey of artful +women; their very stolidity covers all but sensuality. To the Samson-the +Delilah. + + + + VII. + +The gay, deceitful, shrewd, polished, able man,--the courtier, the +man of the world. In public and stirring life this is the fit +antagonist,--often the successful and conquering rival of Character V. +You perceive a man like this varies so greatly in intellect--from the +mere butterfly talent to the rarest genius, from the person you see +at cards to the person you see in Cabinets, from the ----- to the +Chesterfield, from the Chesterfield to the Pericles--that it is +difficult to give you an exact notion of the weak points of a character +so various. But while he dupes his equals and his superiors, I consider +him, my attentive pupils, by no means a very difficult character for +an inferior to dupe. And in this manner you must go about it. Do not +attempt hypocrisy; he will see through it in an instant. Let him think +you at once, and at first sight, a rogue. Be candid on that matter +yourself; but let him think you a useful rogue. Serve him well and +zealously; but own that you do so, because you consider your interest +involved in this. This reasoning satisfies him; and as men of this +character are usually generous, he will acknowledge its justice +by throwing you plenty of sops, and stimulating you with bountiful +cordials. Should he not content you herein, appear contented; and +profit in betraying him (that is the best way to cheat him), not by his +failings, but by opportunity. Watch not his character, but your time. + + + + VIII. + +The vain, arrogant, brave, amorous, flashy character. This sort of +character we formerly attributed to the French, and it is still more +common to the Continent than that beloved island which I shall see no +more! A creature of this description is made up of many false virtues; +above others, it is always profuse where its selfishness is appealed to, +not otherwise. You must find, then, what pleases it, and pander to its +tastes. So will ye cheat it,--or ye will cheat it also by affecting the +false virtues which it admires itself,--rouge your sentiments highly, +and let them strut with a buskined air; thirdly, my good young men, ye +will cheat it by profuse flattery, and by calling it in especial "the +mirror of chivalry." + + + + IX. + +The plain, sensible, honest man,--a favourable, but not elevated +specimen of our race. This character, my beloved pupils, you may take in +once, but never twice. Nor can you take in such a man as a stranger; he +must be your friend or relation, or have known intimately some part +of your family. A man of this character is always open, though in a +moderate and calm degree, to the duties and ties of life. He will always +do something to serve his friend, his brother, or the man whose father +pulled his father out of the Serpentine. Affect with him no varnish; +exert no artifice in attempting to obtain his assistance. Candidly state +your wish for such or such a service, sensibly state your pretensions, +modestly hint at your gratitude. So may you deceive him once, then leave +him alone forever! + + + + X. + +The fond, silly, credulous man, all impulse and no reflection,--how my +heart swells when I contemplate this excellent character! What a Canaan +for you does it present! I envy you launching into the world with +the sanguine hope of finding all men such! Delightful enthusiasm +of youth,--would that the hope could be realized! Here is the very +incarnation of gullibility. You have only to make him love you, and no +hedgehog ever sucked egg as you can suck him. Never be afraid of his +indignation; go to him again and again; only throw yourself on his +neck and weep. To gull him once is to gull him always; get his first +shilling, and then calculate what you will do with the rest of his +fortune. Never desert so good a man for new friends; that would +be ungrateful in you! And take with you, by the way, my good young +gentlemen, this concluding maxim: Men are like lands; you will get +more by lavishing all your labour again and again upon the easy than by +ploughing up new ground in the sterile! Legislators,--wise, good, pious +men,--the Tom Thumbs of moral science, who make giants first, and +then kill them,--you think the above lessons villanous. I honour your +penetration. They are not proofs of my villiany, but of your folly! Look +over them again, and you will see that they are designed to show that +while ye are imprisoning, transporting, and hanging thousands every day, +a man with a decent modicum of cunning might practise every one of those +lessons which seem to you so heinous, and not one of your laws could +touch him! + + + + + + BRACHYLOGIA; + + OR, + + ESSAYS, CRITICAL, SENTIMENTAL, MORAL, AND ORIGINAL. + + ADDRESSED TO HIS PUPILS + + BY AUGUSTUS TOMLINSON. + + The irony in the preceding essays is often lost sight of in the + present. The illness of this great man, which happened while + composing these little gems, made him perhaps more in earnest + than when in robust health.--Editor's Note. + + + ON THE MORALITY TAUGHT BY THE RICH TO THE POOR. + +As soon as the urchin pauper can totter out of doors, it is taught to +pull off its hat, and pull its hair to the quality. "A good little boy," +says the squire; "there's a ha'penny for you." The good little boy glows +with pride. That ha'penny instils deep the lesson of humility. Now goes +our urchin to school. Then comes the Sunday teaching,--before church, +which enjoins the poor to be lowly, and to honour every man better off +than themselves. A pound of honour to the squire, and an ounce to the +beadle. Then the boy grows up; and the Lord of the Manor instructs him +thus: "Be a good boy, Tom, and I'll befriend you. Tread in the steps of +your father; he was an excellent man, and a great loss to the parish; he +was a very civil, hard-working, well-behaved creature; knew his station; +--mind, and do like him!" So perpetual hard labour and plenty of +cringing make the ancestral virtues to be perpetuated to peasants till +the day of judgment! Another insidious distillation of morality is +conveyed through a general praise of the poor. You hear false friends of +the people, who call themselves Liberals and Tories, who have an idea of +morals half chivalric, half pastoral, agree in lauding the unfortunate +creatures whom they keep at work for them. But mark the virtues the poor +are always to be praised for,--industry, honesty, and content. The +first virtue is extolled to the skies, because industry gives the rich +everything they have; the second, because honesty prevents an iota +of the said everything being taken away again; and the third, because +content is to hinder these poor devils from ever objecting to a lot so +comfortable to the persons who profit by it. This, my pupils, is the +morality taught by the rich to the poor! + + + + EMULATION. + +The great error of emulation is this: we emulate effects without +inquiring into causes. When we read of the great actions of a man, +we are on fire to perform the same exploits, without endeavouring to +ascertain the precise qualities which enabled the man we imitate to +commit the actions we admire. Could we discover these, how often might +we discover that their origin was a certain temper of body, a certain +peculiarity of constitution, and that, wish we for the same success, we +should be examining the nature of our bodies rather than sharpening +the faculties of our minds,--should use dumbbells, perhaps, instead of +books; nay, on the other hand, contract some grievous complaint rather +than perfect our moral salubrity. Who should say whether Alexander would +have been a hero had his neck been straight; or Boileau a satirist, had +he never been pecked by a turkey? It would be pleasant to see you, my +beloved pupils, after reading "Quintus Curtius," twisting each other's +throat; or, fresh from Boileau, hurrying to the poultry-yard in the hope +of being mutilated into the performance of a second "Lutrin." + + + + + CAUTION AGAINST THE SCOFFERS OF "HUMBUG." + +My beloved pupils, there is a set of persons in the world, daily +increasing, against whom you must be greatly on your guard; there is +a fascination about them. They are people who declare themselves +vehemently opposed to humbug,--fine, liberal fellows, clear-sighted, yet +frank. When these sentiments arise from reflection, well and good,--they +are the best sentiments in the world; but many take them up second hand. +They are very inviting to the indolence of the mob of gentlemen who see +the romance of a noble principle, not its utility. When a man looks +at everything through this dwarfing philosophy, everything has a great +modicum of humbug. You laugh with him when he derides the humbug in +religion, the humbug in politics, the humbug in love, the humbug in the +plausibilities of the world; but you may cry, my dear pupils, when he +derides what is often the safest of all practically to deride,--the +humbug in common honesty! Men are honest from religion, wisdom, +prejudice, habit, fear, and stupidity; but the few only are wise; and +the persons we speak of deride religion, are beyond prejudice, unawed by +habit, too indifferent for fear, and too experienced for stupidity. + + + + + POPULAR WRATH AT INDIVIDUAL IMPRUDENCE. + +You must know, my dear young friends, that while the appearance of +magnanimity is very becoming to you, and so forth, it will get you +a great deal of ill-will if you attempt to practise it to your own +detriment. Your neighbours are so invariably, though perhaps insensibly, +actuated by self-interest--self-interest--[Mr. Tomlinson is wrong +here; but his ethics were too much narrowed to Utilitarian +principles.--EDITOR.]--is so entirely, though every twaddler denies +it, the axis of the moral world--that they fly into a rage with him who +seems to disregard it. When a man ruins himself, just hear the abuse he +receives; his neighbours take it as a personal affront! + + + + + DUM DEFLUAT AMNIS. + +One main reason why men who have been great are disappointed, when +they retire to private life, is this: Memory makes a chief source of +enjoyment to those who cease eagerly to hope; but the memory of the +great recalls only that public life which has disgusted them. Their +private life hath slipped insensibly away, leaving faint traces of the +sorrow or the joy which found them too busy to heed the simple and quiet +impressions of mere domestic vicissitude. + + + + + SELF-GLORIFIERS. + +Providence seems to have done to a certain set of persons--who always +view their own things through a magnifying medium, deem their house +the best in the world, their gun the truest, their very pointer a +miracle--as Colonel Hanger suggested to economists to do; namely, +provide their servants each with a pair of large spectacles, so that a +lark might appear as big as a fowl, and a twopenny loaf as large as a +quartern. + + + + + THOUGHT ON FORTUNE. + +It is often the easiest move that completes the game. Fortune is like +the lady whom a lover carried off from all his rivals by putting an +additional lace upon his liveries. + + + + + WIT AND TRUTH. + +People may talk about fiction being the source of fancy, and wit being +at variance with truth. Now, some of the wittiest things in the world +are witty solely from their truth. Truth is the soul of a good saying. +"You assert," observes the Socrates of modern times, "that we have a +virtual representation; very well, let us have a virtual taxation too!" +Here the wit is in the fidelity of the sequitur. When Columbus broke the +egg, where was the wit? In the completeness of conviction in the broken +egg. + + + + + AUTO-THEOLOGY. + +Not only every sect but every individual modifies the general attributes +of the Deity towards assimilation with his own character: the just man +dwells on the justice, the stern upon the wrath; the attributes that do +not please the worshipper he insensibly forgets. Wherefore, O my pupils, +you will not smile when you read in Barnes that the pygmies declared +Jove himself was a pygmy. The pious vanity of man makes him adore his +own qualities under the pretence of worshipping those of his God. + + + + + GLORIOUS CONSTITUTION. + +A sentence is sometimes as good as a volume. If a man ask you to give +him some idea of the laws of England, the answer is short and easy: In +the laws of England there are somewhere about one hundred and fifty laws +by which a poor man may be hanged, but not one by which he can obtain +justice for nothing! + + + + + ANSWER TO THE POPULAR CANT THAT + GOODNESS IN A STATESMAN IS + BETTER THAN ABILITY. + +As in the world we must look to actions, not motives, so a knave is the +man who injures you; and you do not inquire whether the injury be the +fruit of malice or necessity. Place, then, a fool in power, and he +becomes unconsciously the knave. Mr. Addington stumbled on the two very +worst and most villanous taxes human malice could have invented,--one on +medicines, the other on justice. What tyrant's fearful ingenuity could +afflict us more than by impeding at once redress for our wrongs, and +cure for our diseases? Mr. Addington was the fool _in se_, and therefore +the knave in office; but, bless you! he never meant it! + + + + + COMMON-SENSE. + +Common-sense,--common-sense,--of all phrases, all catchwords, this is +often the most deceitful and the most dangerous. Look, in especial, +suspiciously upon common-sense whenever it is opposed to discovery. +Common-sense is the experience of every day. Discovery is something +against the experience of every day. No wonder, then, that when Galileo +proclaimed a great truth, the universal cry was, "Pshaw! common-sense +will tell you the reverse." Talk to a sensible man for the first time on +the theory of vision, and hear what his common-sense will say to it. In +a letter in the time of Bacon, the writer, of no mean intellect himself, +says: "It is a pity the chancellor should set his opinion against the +experience of so many centuries and the dictates of common-sense." +Common-sense, then, so useful in household matters, is less useful in +the legislative and in the scientific world than it has been generally +deemed. Naturally, the advocate for what has been tried, and averse +to what is speculative, it opposes the new philosophy that appeals to +reason, and clings to the old which is propped by sanction. + + + + + LOVE, AND WRITERS ON LOVE. + +My warm, hot-headed, ardent young friends, ye are in the flower of your +life, and writing verses about love,--let us say a word on the +subject. There are two species of love common to all men and to most +animals,--[Most animals; for some appear insensible to the love of +custom]--one springs from the senses, the other grows out of custom. +Now, neither of these, my dear young friends, is the love that you +pretend to feel,--the love of lovers. Your passion, having only its +foundation (and that unacknowledged) in the senses, owes everything else +to the imagination. Now, the imagination of the majority is different +in complexion and degree in every country and in every age; so also, and +consequently, is the love of the imagination. As a proof, observe that +you sympathize with the romantic love of other times or nations only +in proportion as you sympathize with their poetry and imaginative +literature. The love which stalks through the "Arcadia" or "Amadis +of Gaul" is to the great bulk of readers coldly insipid or solemnly +ridiculous. Alas! when those works excited enthusiasm, so did the love +which they describe. The long speeches, the icy compliments, expressed +the feeling of the day. The love madrigals of the time of Shenstone, +or the brocade gallantries of the French poets in the last century, any +woman now would consider hollow or childish, imbecile or artificial. +Once the songs were natural, and the love seductive. And now, my young +friends, in the year 1822, in which I write, and shall probably die, the +love which glitters through Moore, and walks so ambitiously ambiguous +through the verse of Byron; the love which you consider now so deep and +so true; the love which tingles through the hearts of your young ladies, +and sets you young gentlemen gazing on the evening star,--all that love +too will become unfamiliar or ridiculous to an after age; and the young +aspirings and the moonlight dreams and the vague fiddle-de-dees which +ye now think so touching and so sublime will go, my dear boys, where +Cowley's Mistress and Waller's Sacharissa have gone before,--go with the +Sapphos and the Chloes, the elegant "charming fairs," and the chivalric +"most beauteous princesses!" The only love-poetry that stands through +all time and appeals to all hearts is that which is founded on either +or both the species of love natural to all men,--the love of the senses, +and the love of custom. In the latter is included what middle-aged men +call the rational attachment, the charm of congenial minds, as well +as the homely and warmer accumulation of little memories of simple +kindness, or the mere brute habitude of seeing a face as one would see +a chair. These, sometimes singly, sometimes skilfully blended, make the +theme of those who have perhaps loved the most honestly and the most +humanly; these yet render Tibullus pathetic, and Ovid a master over +tender affections; and these, above all, make that irresistible and +all-touching inspiration which subdues the romantic, the calculating, +the old, the young, the courtier, the peasant, the poet, the man of +business, in the glorious love-poetry of Robert Burns. + + + + + THE GREAT ENTAILED. + +The great inheritance of man is a commonwealth of blunders. One race +spend their lives in botching the errors transmitted to them by another; +and the main cause of all political, that is, all the worst and most +general, blunders is this,--the same rule we apply to individual cases +we will not apply to public. All men consent that swindling for a horse +is swindling,--they punish the culprit and condemn the fault. But in a +State there is no such unanimity. Swindling, Lord help you! is called +by some fine name; and cheating grows grandiloquent, and styles itself +"Policy." In consequence of this there is always a battle between those +who call things by their right names and those who pertinaciously +give them the wrong ones. Hence all sorts of confusion. This confusion +extends very soon to the laws made for individual cases; and thus in +old States, though the world is still agreed that private swindling is +private swindling, there is the Devil's own difficulty in punishing the +swindling of the public. The art of swindling now is a different thing +to the art of swindling a hundred years ago; but the laws remain the +same. Adaptation in private cases is innovation in public; so, without +repealing old laws, they make new. Sometimes these are effectual, but +more often not. Now, my beloved pupils, a law is a gun which if it +misses a pigeon always kills a crow; if it does not strike the guilty, +it hits some one else. As every crime creates a law, so in turn every +law creates a crime; and hence we go on multiplying sins and evils, and +faults and blunders, till society becomes the organized disorder for +picking pockets. + + + + + THE REGENERATION OF A KNAVE. + +A man who begins the world by being a fool often ends it by becoming +a knave; but he who begins as a knave, if he be a rich man (and so not +hanged), may end, my beloved pupils, in being a pious creature. And this +is the wherefore: "a knave early" soon gets knowledge of the world. One +vice worn out makes us wiser than fifty tutors. But wisdom causes us to +love quiet, and in quiet we do not sin. He who is wise and sins not can +scarcely fail of doing good; for let him but utter a new truth, and even +his imagination cannot conceive the limit of the good he may have done +to man! + + + + + STYLE. + +Do you well understand what a wonderful thing style is? I think not; for +in the exercises you sent me, your styles betrayed that no very earnest +consideration had been lavished upon them. Know, then, that you must +pause well before you take up any model of style. On your style often +depends your own character,--almost always the character given you by +the world. If you adopt the lofty style,--if you string together noble +phrases and swelling Sonora,--you have expressed, avowed, a frame of +mind which you will insensibly desire to act up to; the desire gradually +begets the capacity. The life of Dr. Parr is Dr. Parr's style put in +action; and Lord Byron makes himself through existence unhappy for +having accidentally slipped into a melancholy current of words. But +suppose you escape this calamity by a peculiar hardihood of temperament, +you escape not the stamp of popular opinion. Addison must ever be held +by the vulgar the most amiable of men, because of the social amenity of +his diction; and the admirers of language will always consider Burke a +nobler spirit than Fox, because of the grandeur of his sentences. How +many wise sayings have been called jests because they were wittily +uttered! How many nothings swelled their author into a sage, ay, +a saint, because they were strung together by the old hypocrite +nun,--Gravity! + +THE END. + + + + + + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Tomlinsoniana, by Edward Bulwer-Lytton + +*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK TOMLINSONIANA *** + +***** This file should be named 7736.txt or 7736.zip ***** +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: + http://www.gutenberg.org/7/7/3/7736/ + +Produced by Bryan Sherman and David Widger + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. Special rules, +set forth in the General Terms of Use part of this license, apply to +copying and distributing Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works to +protect the PROJECT GUTENBERG-tm concept and trademark. Project +Gutenberg is a registered trademark, and may not be used if you +charge for the eBooks, unless you receive specific permission. If you +do not charge anything for copies of this eBook, complying with the +rules is very easy. You may use this eBook for nearly any purpose +such as creation of derivative works, reports, performances and +research. They may be modified and printed and given away--you may do +practically ANYTHING with public domain eBooks. Redistribution is +subject to the trademark license, especially commercial +redistribution. + + + +*** START: FULL LICENSE *** + +THE FULL PROJECT GUTENBERG LICENSE +PLEASE READ THIS BEFORE YOU DISTRIBUTE OR USE THIS WORK + +To protect the Project Gutenberg-tm mission of promoting the free +distribution of electronic works, by using or distributing this work +(or any other work associated in any way with the phrase "Project +Gutenberg"), you agree to comply with all the terms of the Full Project +Gutenberg-tm License (available with this file or online at +http://gutenberg.org/license). + + +Section 1. General Terms of Use and Redistributing Project Gutenberg-tm +electronic works + +1.A. By reading or using any part of this Project Gutenberg-tm +electronic work, you indicate that you have read, understand, agree to +and accept all the terms of this license and intellectual property +(trademark/copyright) agreement. If you do not agree to abide by all +the terms of this agreement, you must cease using and return or destroy +all copies of Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works in your possession. +If you paid a fee for obtaining a copy of or access to a Project +Gutenberg-tm electronic work and you do not agree to be bound by the +terms of this agreement, you may obtain a refund from the person or +entity to whom you paid the fee as set forth in paragraph 1.E.8. + +1.B. "Project Gutenberg" is a registered trademark. It may only be +used on or associated in any way with an electronic work by people who +agree to be bound by the terms of this agreement. There are a few +things that you can do with most Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works +even without complying with the full terms of this agreement. See +paragraph 1.C below. There are a lot of things you can do with Project +Gutenberg-tm electronic works if you follow the terms of this agreement +and help preserve free future access to Project Gutenberg-tm electronic +works. See paragraph 1.E below. + +1.C. The Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation ("the Foundation" +or PGLAF), owns a compilation copyright in the collection of Project +Gutenberg-tm electronic works. Nearly all the individual works in the +collection are in the public domain in the United States. If an +individual work is in the public domain in the United States and you are +located in the United States, we do not claim a right to prevent you from +copying, distributing, performing, displaying or creating derivative +works based on the work as long as all references to Project Gutenberg +are removed. Of course, we hope that you will support the Project +Gutenberg-tm mission of promoting free access to electronic works by +freely sharing Project Gutenberg-tm works in compliance with the terms of +this agreement for keeping the Project Gutenberg-tm name associated with +the work. You can easily comply with the terms of this agreement by +keeping this work in the same format with its attached full Project +Gutenberg-tm License when you share it without charge with others. + +1.D. The copyright laws of the place where you are located also govern +what you can do with this work. Copyright laws in most countries are in +a constant state of change. If you are outside the United States, check +the laws of your country in addition to the terms of this agreement +before downloading, copying, displaying, performing, distributing or +creating derivative works based on this work or any other Project +Gutenberg-tm work. The Foundation makes no representations concerning +the copyright status of any work in any country outside the United +States. + +1.E. Unless you have removed all references to Project Gutenberg: + +1.E.1. The following sentence, with active links to, or other immediate +access to, the full Project Gutenberg-tm License must appear prominently +whenever any copy of a Project Gutenberg-tm work (any work on which the +phrase "Project Gutenberg" appears, or with which the phrase "Project +Gutenberg" is associated) is accessed, displayed, performed, viewed, +copied or distributed: + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + +1.E.2. If an individual Project Gutenberg-tm electronic work is derived +from the public domain (does not contain a notice indicating that it is +posted with permission of the copyright holder), the work can be copied +and distributed to anyone in the United States without paying any fees +or charges. If you are redistributing or providing access to a work +with the phrase "Project Gutenberg" associated with or appearing on the +work, you must comply either with the requirements of paragraphs 1.E.1 +through 1.E.7 or obtain permission for the use of the work and the +Project Gutenberg-tm trademark as set forth in paragraphs 1.E.8 or +1.E.9. + +1.E.3. If an individual Project Gutenberg-tm electronic work is posted +with the permission of the copyright holder, your use and distribution +must comply with both paragraphs 1.E.1 through 1.E.7 and any additional +terms imposed by the copyright holder. Additional terms will be linked +to the Project Gutenberg-tm License for all works posted with the +permission of the copyright holder found at the beginning of this work. + +1.E.4. Do not unlink or detach or remove the full Project Gutenberg-tm +License terms from this work, or any files containing a part of this +work or any other work associated with Project Gutenberg-tm. + +1.E.5. Do not copy, display, perform, distribute or redistribute this +electronic work, or any part of this electronic work, without +prominently displaying the sentence set forth in paragraph 1.E.1 with +active links or immediate access to the full terms of the Project +Gutenberg-tm License. + +1.E.6. You may convert to and distribute this work in any binary, +compressed, marked up, nonproprietary or proprietary form, including any +word processing or hypertext form. However, if you provide access to or +distribute copies of a Project Gutenberg-tm work in a format other than +"Plain Vanilla ASCII" or other format used in the official version +posted on the official Project Gutenberg-tm web site (www.gutenberg.org), +you must, at no additional cost, fee or expense to the user, provide a +copy, a means of exporting a copy, or a means of obtaining a copy upon +request, of the work in its original "Plain Vanilla ASCII" or other +form. Any alternate format must include the full Project Gutenberg-tm +License as specified in paragraph 1.E.1. + +1.E.7. Do not charge a fee for access to, viewing, displaying, +performing, copying or distributing any Project Gutenberg-tm works +unless you comply with paragraph 1.E.8 or 1.E.9. + +1.E.8. You may charge a reasonable fee for copies of or providing +access to or distributing Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works provided +that + +- You pay a royalty fee of 20% of the gross profits you derive from + the use of Project Gutenberg-tm works calculated using the method + you already use to calculate your applicable taxes. The fee is + owed to the owner of the Project Gutenberg-tm trademark, but he + has agreed to donate royalties under this paragraph to the + Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation. Royalty payments + must be paid within 60 days following each date on which you + prepare (or are legally required to prepare) your periodic tax + returns. Royalty payments should be clearly marked as such and + sent to the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation at the + address specified in Section 4, "Information about donations to + the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation." + +- You provide a full refund of any money paid by a user who notifies + you in writing (or by e-mail) within 30 days of receipt that s/he + does not agree to the terms of the full Project Gutenberg-tm + License. You must require such a user to return or + destroy all copies of the works possessed in a physical medium + and discontinue all use of and all access to other copies of + Project Gutenberg-tm works. + +- You provide, in accordance with paragraph 1.F.3, a full refund of any + money paid for a work or a replacement copy, if a defect in the + electronic work is discovered and reported to you within 90 days + of receipt of the work. + +- You comply with all other terms of this agreement for free + distribution of Project Gutenberg-tm works. + +1.E.9. If you wish to charge a fee or distribute a Project Gutenberg-tm +electronic work or group of works on different terms than are set +forth in this agreement, you must obtain permission in writing from +both the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation and Michael +Hart, the owner of the Project Gutenberg-tm trademark. Contact the +Foundation as set forth in Section 3 below. + +1.F. + +1.F.1. Project Gutenberg volunteers and employees expend considerable +effort to identify, do copyright research on, transcribe and proofread +public domain works in creating the Project Gutenberg-tm +collection. Despite these efforts, Project Gutenberg-tm electronic +works, and the medium on which they may be stored, may contain +"Defects," such as, but not limited to, incomplete, inaccurate or +corrupt data, transcription errors, a copyright or other intellectual +property infringement, a defective or damaged disk or other medium, a +computer virus, or computer codes that damage or cannot be read by +your equipment. + +1.F.2. LIMITED WARRANTY, DISCLAIMER OF DAMAGES - Except for the "Right +of Replacement or Refund" described in paragraph 1.F.3, the Project +Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation, the owner of the Project +Gutenberg-tm trademark, and any other party distributing a Project +Gutenberg-tm electronic work under this agreement, disclaim all +liability to you for damages, costs and expenses, including legal +fees. YOU AGREE THAT YOU HAVE NO REMEDIES FOR NEGLIGENCE, STRICT +LIABILITY, BREACH OF WARRANTY OR BREACH OF CONTRACT EXCEPT THOSE +PROVIDED IN PARAGRAPH F3. YOU AGREE THAT THE FOUNDATION, THE +TRADEMARK OWNER, AND ANY DISTRIBUTOR UNDER THIS AGREEMENT WILL NOT BE +LIABLE TO YOU FOR ACTUAL, DIRECT, INDIRECT, CONSEQUENTIAL, PUNITIVE OR +INCIDENTAL DAMAGES EVEN IF YOU GIVE NOTICE OF THE POSSIBILITY OF SUCH +DAMAGE. + +1.F.3. LIMITED RIGHT OF REPLACEMENT OR REFUND - If you discover a +defect in this electronic work within 90 days of receiving it, you can +receive a refund of the money (if any) you paid for it by sending a +written explanation to the person you received the work from. If you +received the work on a physical medium, you must return the medium with +your written explanation. The person or entity that provided you with +the defective work may elect to provide a replacement copy in lieu of a +refund. If you received the work electronically, the person or entity +providing it to you may choose to give you a second opportunity to +receive the work electronically in lieu of a refund. If the second copy +is also defective, you may demand a refund in writing without further +opportunities to fix the problem. + +1.F.4. Except for the limited right of replacement or refund set forth +in paragraph 1.F.3, this work is provided to you 'AS-IS' WITH NO OTHER +WARRANTIES OF ANY KIND, EXPRESS OR IMPLIED, INCLUDING BUT NOT LIMITED TO +WARRANTIES OF MERCHANTIBILITY OR FITNESS FOR ANY PURPOSE. + +1.F.5. Some states do not allow disclaimers of certain implied +warranties or the exclusion or limitation of certain types of damages. +If any disclaimer or limitation set forth in this agreement violates the +law of the state applicable to this agreement, the agreement shall be +interpreted to make the maximum disclaimer or limitation permitted by +the applicable state law. The invalidity or unenforceability of any +provision of this agreement shall not void the remaining provisions. + +1.F.6. INDEMNITY - You agree to indemnify and hold the Foundation, the +trademark owner, any agent or employee of the Foundation, anyone +providing copies of Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works in accordance +with this agreement, and any volunteers associated with the production, +promotion and distribution of Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works, +harmless from all liability, costs and expenses, including legal fees, +that arise directly or indirectly from any of the following which you do +or cause to occur: (a) distribution of this or any Project Gutenberg-tm +work, (b) alteration, modification, or additions or deletions to any +Project Gutenberg-tm work, and (c) any Defect you cause. + + +Section 2. Information about the Mission of Project Gutenberg-tm + +Project Gutenberg-tm is synonymous with the free distribution of +electronic works in formats readable by the widest variety of computers +including obsolete, old, middle-aged and new computers. It exists +because of the efforts of hundreds of volunteers and donations from +people in all walks of life. + +Volunteers and financial support to provide volunteers with the +assistance they need, are critical to reaching Project Gutenberg-tm's +goals and ensuring that the Project Gutenberg-tm collection will +remain freely available for generations to come. In 2001, the Project +Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation was created to provide a secure +and permanent future for Project Gutenberg-tm and future generations. +To learn more about the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation +and how your efforts and donations can help, see Sections 3 and 4 +and the Foundation web page at http://www.pglaf.org. + + +Section 3. Information about the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive +Foundation + +The Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation is a non profit +501(c)(3) educational corporation organized under the laws of the +state of Mississippi and granted tax exempt status by the Internal +Revenue Service. The Foundation's EIN or federal tax identification +number is 64-6221541. Its 501(c)(3) letter is posted at +http://pglaf.org/fundraising. Contributions to the Project Gutenberg +Literary Archive Foundation are tax deductible to the full extent +permitted by U.S. federal laws and your state's laws. + +The Foundation's principal office is located at 4557 Melan Dr. S. +Fairbanks, AK, 99712., but its volunteers and employees are scattered +throughout numerous locations. Its business office is located at +809 North 1500 West, Salt Lake City, UT 84116, (801) 596-1887, email +business@pglaf.org. Email contact links and up to date contact +information can be found at the Foundation's web site and official +page at http://pglaf.org + +For additional contact information: + Dr. Gregory B. Newby + Chief Executive and Director + gbnewby@pglaf.org + + +Section 4. Information about Donations to the Project Gutenberg +Literary Archive Foundation + +Project Gutenberg-tm depends upon and cannot survive without wide +spread public support and donations to carry out its mission of +increasing the number of public domain and licensed works that can be +freely distributed in machine readable form accessible by the widest +array of equipment including outdated equipment. Many small donations +($1 to $5,000) are particularly important to maintaining tax exempt +status with the IRS. + +The Foundation is committed to complying with the laws regulating +charities and charitable donations in all 50 states of the United +States. Compliance requirements are not uniform and it takes a +considerable effort, much paperwork and many fees to meet and keep up +with these requirements. We do not solicit donations in locations +where we have not received written confirmation of compliance. To +SEND DONATIONS or determine the status of compliance for any +particular state visit http://pglaf.org + +While we cannot and do not solicit contributions from states where we +have not met the solicitation requirements, we know of no prohibition +against accepting unsolicited donations from donors in such states who +approach us with offers to donate. + +International donations are gratefully accepted, but we cannot make +any statements concerning tax treatment of donations received from +outside the United States. U.S. laws alone swamp our small staff. + +Please check the Project Gutenberg Web pages for current donation +methods and addresses. Donations are accepted in a number of other +ways including checks, online payments and credit card donations. +To donate, please visit: http://pglaf.org/donate + + +Section 5. General Information About Project Gutenberg-tm electronic +works. + +Professor Michael S. Hart is the originator of the Project Gutenberg-tm +concept of a library of electronic works that could be freely shared +with anyone. For thirty years, he produced and distributed Project +Gutenberg-tm eBooks with only a loose network of volunteer support. + + +Project Gutenberg-tm eBooks are often created from several printed +editions, all of which are confirmed as Public Domain in the U.S. +unless a copyright notice is included. Thus, we do not necessarily +keep eBooks in compliance with any particular paper edition. + + +Most people start at our Web site which has the main PG search facility: + + http://www.gutenberg.org + +This Web site includes information about Project Gutenberg-tm, +including how to make donations to the Project Gutenberg Literary +Archive Foundation, how to help produce our new eBooks, and how to +subscribe to our email newsletter to hear about new eBooks. |