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If you are not located in the United States, you -will have to check the laws of the country where you are located before -using this eBook. - -Title: Youthful folly detected - Written for the benefit of youth, particularly the female sex - -Author: Anonymous - -Release Date: November 8, 2022 [eBook #69318] - -Language: English - -Produced by: Charlene Taylor, Donald Cummings and the Online Distributed - Proofreading Team at https://www.pgdp.net (This file was - produced from images generously made available by The - Internet Archive) - -*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK YOUTHFUL FOLLY DETECTED *** - - - - - - YOUTHFUL FOLLY - DETECTED. - - _WRITTEN FOR THE BENEFIT OF - YOUTH, PARTICULARLY THE_ - FEMALE SEX. - - - The maid that walks in folly’s path, - Thoughtless and heedless as she goes; - Will land in misery at last, - Beset around with many foes: - - But she who minds instruction young, - Attentive to her bus’ness stays; - In sweetest notes her name is sung, - On harps of gold, where virtue plays. - - - WALPOLE, N. H. - PRINTED AT THE OBSERVATORY PRESS, - _BY DAVID NEWHALL_. - - 1804. - - - - - _ADVERTISEMENT._ - -The following hints were originally designed for the benefit of a few -individuals, for whom the author had a particular regard, and also felt -himself under obligations to give them all that instruction which might -be deemed necessary to guide them in the paths of virtue and morality, -and to shun those vices which often ruin the female sex, and are too -predominant in the world. - -But as all young people are in one predicament, and instructions that -are suitable for one, may be equally applied to the whole; therefore, -for the benefit of the present, and future rising generations, these -few lines are made public. - -And although the Author would not blush to own this piece of work, yet, -for certain reasons, his name is concealed. - - - - - [Illustration] - - TO - YOUNG FEMALES, &c. - - -The most critical time of youth, especially of the female sex, is -while they are in their juvenile years. At this age, when they are -entering as it were upon the borders of life, to act in some degree for -themselves, the greatest care and attention ought to be paid to them. -And from the age of puberty, until they arrive to maturity, and are -settled in the world, they ever ought to be considered as under the -care and protecting eye of their parents, guardians, or masters. - -How can parents, guardians, or masters, feel as though they had -discharged their duty towards their children, and those under their -care, in this respect, when they see them, entering on the wheels of -time, exposed to all the temptations of an alluring world, and scarcely -or never give them one check or caution! - -And as it is to be feared that some parents, &c. are guilty of too -much neglect on this hand, so others govern with too much restraint -on the other. If you mean that your children should learn to govern -themselves, you must learn it to them by experience; that is, by giving -them a little lenity, together with your good counsel and advice, and -according to their improvement, give them more and more, until they -learn the art of self-government. But if you endeavor to keep them -wholly under restraint, and never let them learn from experience the -different manners and customs of people abroad; if they should happen -to break out of your reach (as most likely they will, at certain times) -they will (according to the vulgar expression) behave more like _hogs -let out of the sty_; than like ladies; and not knowing the art of self -government, they will be likely to break over all rules of decency and -decorum. - -But although parents, &c. may pay the strictest attention to their -children, &c. unless there is the greatest degree of caution and -circumspection attended to, on the part of the children, it will avail -but very little. - -Young people are apt to be insensible to the danger they are in, until -their name is stained with a blot that is very hard to wipe away. The -wise man has justly observed, that “A good name is rather to be chosen -than great riches, and loving favor rather than silver and gold.” - -The reputation of youth, a young maiden more especially, may be -compared to china ware, or transparent glass, which is very easily -broken, but impossible to mend, so but what it will leave a blemish -behind. - -How often does the thoughtless youth, in some unguarded hour, fall -into some trifling folly or other which stamps a blur upon their -characters, and fills their minds with shame and remorse. And it is -too frequently the case, that in order to prevent the evils of one -piece of bad conduct, they run into another, which only sinks them -deeper and deeper. They then begin to give up all hopes of recovery, -their minds become dissipated, and they give themselves over to all the -vain delusions and allurements of time and sense. And as they travel -on in the paths of folly, they become lost to all sense of virtue and -morality, consequently happiness is fled, and they generally become -slaves to misery and discontentment. - -Such a life as this would be thought scarcely worth possessing! yet how -often do we behold those who appeared to be very promising when they -first started in life, and presented to us the most pleasing prospects, -land on these shores at last, and drag out a miserable life, with shame -and ignominy: while on the other hand, it often happens, that those -who make a small appearance, and are thought but a very little of, -when they first set out in life; yet by attending to good instruction, -and the strictest caution and prudence, they have arisen to honor and -dignity in the world, and are loved and esteemed by all virtuous people. - -If these are facts, they show the importance of early attending to -instruction. - -And that you, my young friend, blooming with virgin beauty, unsullied -with vice, and unimpaired with age; that you may shun those pernicious -practices that will lead you in shame and disgrace, and pursue those -paths that will lead you to honor and dignity in the world, and gain -you a name that is more valuable than silver or gold, I leave you the -following - - - RULES. - -1. Keep a due regard over all your thoughts, and see that they are -intent upon the business in which you are employed, that you may pay a -proper attention to the same. - -Nothing is more dangerous than an absent mind. It is rude to indulge -the thoughts to rove upon indifferent objects, even when you are in -company; but more especially when attending to your domestic concerns. -If your thoughts are not mostly engaged in the business before you, -time will steal away faster than you are aware of; night will come on -before you are ready for it, many things must go undone that you ought -to have attended to, and that which you have done will be apt to be -slighted, or done to the halves; and you will thereby get to yourself -rebukes and reproaches, which you might have easily prevented, and you -will now begin to repent when it is too late to mend a bad day’s work. - -By indulging an absent mind, young people are apt to be deaf to -all that is said to them, or at least, it does not make an abiding -impression on their minds; by which means they are apt to do their work -wrong, have it to undo, and do over again, and sometimes spoil it in -the end; which will make them feel very much chagrined, and also it -will fret, perplex, and weary the patience of those who employ them. - -All this might have been easily avoided by care and attention; and not -only so, but you would improve in your business, and thereby make it -become habitual and easy. - -You cannot expect to become master of any kind of business, without -much care and attention; and this ought to make you more studious in -the same, for remember, that there is no business that you will be -likely to be called to attend to, now when young, but what (if you -should ever have a family of your own) you must attend to the same for -yourself, or at least, have it attended to; and therefore it is highly -necessary that you should now become master of it. - -This is what ought to excite your mind now when young, that you may -be well qualified to be mistress of your own family; and even if you -should never have any family, this will do you no harm. - -2. Never flatter yourself that you know how the business should be -done better than your teachers; therefore hear with patience their -instructions, and always be submissive to their directions. - -Never contradict them in any sense whatever; but if you think that -any other way, different from what they direct, would do better, -you may inform them of it, but do it with the greatest modesty and -circumspection; and if they comply with what you say, it is well, but -if they do not, add no more, but obey as you were first directed. - -Always make the business of the day the first object, and then if you -have any leisure hours, you may improve them to the best advantage and -for your own profit and satisfaction. - -Never allow yourself to be peevish and fretful about your work, food, -dress, or any thing of the like nature, even if the business does not -go on to suit you; for this will only make the business more irksome -and fatiguing, without any kind of benefit to yourself. - -3. Do not expect even from your best endeavors wholly to escape without -censure. For the mind of youth is so fickle, it would be very strange -if you did not sometimes go astray, and not do so well as you might; -and if you do, you must expect reproof, and rebuke, and you ought to -take it kindly, and endeavour to do better for the future. - -But even if you should always do your best, you must expect that you -will sometimes do wrong, even for want of knowledge; and you cannot -expect that people will always exercise that patience, so but what they -will many times chide you, and find fault, even when you have done your -best. All this you ought to bear with patience without a murmuring -word: for if you are conscious to yourself that you have done as well -as you could, even a sharp rebuke need not trouble you; for you may -gain some knowledge by it, and therefore it may terminate for your own -advantage. Besides, if you bear it with patience, and try to convince -them by your future conduct that you used your best endeavors to have -every thing done as it should be, this will have a tendency to convince -them of their error, and cause them to exercise more patience for the -future. - -Always pay a proper respect to your parents, guardians, or masters, -and ever be submissive to their commands. Never try to aggravate them, -even if they should find fault at trifles; that is, to treat the matter -with a kind of indifferency, though you did not care to displease them; -for this will only make them more fretful for the future.―― But if you -are sensible that you have done wrong, you ought to confess it, and -endeavour to reform; but if you think you are not to blame let the -whole matter pass in silence. - -4. You must not only pay the greatest attention to your domestic -concerns, but a proper decorum in all your words and actions must be -attended to. Your leisure hours should be employed in reading useful -books, which will be most likely to furnish your mind with a store of -religious and moral improvements. Read the characters of those ladies -who have lived virtuous and pious lives, and endeavour to imitate their -examples. - -And if you should ever happen to read the characters of any profligate -women (not to call them ladies) endeavour to make only this use of -their characters; that is, to shun their vices, avoid their pernicious -practices, and thereby escape the miseries that attend them. - -5. Endeavour to treat all persons with civility. Pay a proper respect -to your superiors, complaisance to your equals and courteously treat -those whom you shall deem to be your inferiors. - -Establish in your own mind a certain rule of decency and modesty, to -be attended to in all companies, and at all times, whether at home or -abroad. - -In all companies, give each one an opportunity for their proper share -of conversation. Remember that a talkative, loquacious woman, a -young woman more especially, often exposes her weakness, and sickens -the ear with her babblings. “The torrent of her words overwhelmeth -conversation.” Therefore every species of rudeness ought to be -avoided as unbecoming your sex. Again, frequent and loud laughter doth -not become any person, especially a woman, and a young woman more -especially.―― Therefore it ought to be avoided on all occasions as not -belonging to the rules of decency, and as unbecoming the fair sex. - -6. The strictest attention must be paid to the conversation which you -may occasionally have with the other sex. Be not forward in beginning a -conversation with them; but be always ready to return all compliments -that may be given to you with an easy address, and in a becoming -manner, without being daunted or even put to the blush. - -In order to facilitate this business, endeavour to treasure up in your -memory, those addresses and compliments, that by constant observation, -you may hear drop from those whom you deem to be your superiors; and -endeavor to make them familiar to yourself, so that you may be able to -use them on any occasion, with propriety, & without the appearance of -affectation or dissimulation. - -And as you would avoid a prudish disposition on the one hand, so you -must equally avoid a volatile, idle, and wanton disposition on the -other. To facilitate which, give yourself more to thinking and less to -talking, so that when you do speak, you may always speak with decency, -modesty, and propriety. Always mind to speak plain and distinctly, -and loud enough to be understood, with a modest smile on your face, -without a rude look in your countenance. - -But let your speeches be short and comprehensive; and never try to -prolong a conversation, unless it be upon topics that are becoming your -sex. But if the conversation should be disagreeable and unbecoming, -endeavor to turn the attention to some other object, introduce some -other topic, or else find an occasion of absence. - -7. Remember that the bloom of your youth, your healthy and ruddy -countenances, the rose on your cheeks, and the sparkling vigor of your -eyes, will gain you more admirers than real lovers. Here pause for a -few moments and consider! for it is the most delicate point for you to -steer through and your name and reputation to remain unsullied. - -How often doth the blooming and most promising youth, by one fatal -misstep, stain their characters with ignominy, and blast their -reputation forever. - -It is much easier to avoid temptation, than to resist the deceitful -arts of the tempter. - -The deceitful heart of a fond admirer, out of a vain pretence of love -and affection, will work upon every passion that wit can invent or -lust suggest, in order to allure your affections, intrude upon your -chastity, and win you over to their fond embraces, and carnal appetites. - -O heed not their flatteries, neither give way to their alluring -and licentious persuasions! for when they have ruined you, their -flatteries will be turned into contempt, and their pretended love into -downright hatred. And in the end, they will even forsake you, without -regard or pity. Therefore beware of sycophants! and be not deceived -by their enticing words! Even if they reproach you to your face for -your rigorous treatment, yet behind your back, they will applaud your -constancy. - -Remember that the taste may be satiated with the sweetest fruit, -where there is a full enjoyment; but let a person participate only by -anticipation, and the nearer to enjoyment, the more valuable the prize -will be. - -8. Learn to distinguish between true, genuine love, and mere fancy. He -who truly loves or respects you, will not wish to have you violate -your honor or chastity, neither will he violently intrude upon the -same, although he may endeavour to prove your constancy. - -Therefore when you have reason to believe that any one sincerely -respects you, and if you also wish to continue to be worthy of his -esteem; remember that you cannot do any thing more against yourself -than to give over your chastity, or go beyond rules of decency. - -But if you have reason to believe that any one’s pretended love is -nothing more than mere fancy, which will generally shew itself by a -vehement fondness; vows, promises, &c. learn to treat it with a silent -neglect; for his utmost wishes will never promote your real happiness. - -9. Be not anxious to be admired by every one, but only be careful that -the virtuous have no occasion to speak evil against you; to avoid which -you have only to live a virtuous life. - -Keep a due regard over all your words and actions; not only when you -are with those whom you esteem to be virtuous, but even if you should -happen to fall in company with those of the baser sort. - -It hath been an old maxim, _that when we are with the Romans, we must -do as the Romans do_. And the maxim may be a good one, so far as we can -comply with it, and not break over the rules of decency and propriety; -but no farther. For it is no rule, neither will it be any excuse for -you, to be loose, vain, or lascivious, even if you should happen to -fall in company with persons of this description. But the wiser method -is, to avoid all such company; for the characters of persons are often -judged by the company they keep. Therefore, if you would wish to avoid -the reproaches of every one, you must not only abstain from vice -yourself, but you must forsake the company of the vicious. - -10. Do not reveal your secrets to any one, unless it will be as much -for their interest to keep, as it will be for yours to have them kept; -and never reveal the secrets of others, when it will not injure you to -keep them. - -Never make any promise that you do not mean to perform; and fulfil all -your promises when you have once made them; unless you find that you -were deceived when you made them, and therefore ought not to have -promised. - -Never speak of the failings of another to a third person, but with the -greatest reluctance, especially those of your own sex. If you can say -no good of persons, you had better say nothing about them. For as you -would not wish to have your own failings published to the world, so you -must be exceeding careful not to publish the failings of others. - -But should you discover a failing in your friend, you may, and ought to -remind him or her of it, between you and them alone, but do it with the -greatest modesty. And if your friends should tell you of a fault, take -it kindly of them and endeavor to reform. - -Never appear to slight the company of any one, while in their presence, -even if it should be disagreeable; but rather endeavor to find some just -occasion of absence, and avoid their company for the future. - -Treat every one with civility, but use no flattery nor dissimulation -to any one; but let the words of your mouth be the sentiments of your -heart. - -11. Do not try to outvie all others in dress, &c. but let your dress -be modest, and suited to your circumstances. Remember that a real -character doth not consist in the outward adornings of the body, but in -the inward adornings of the mind and understanding. - -Although a fop, or a coxcomb, might be charmed at the sight of fine -ribbons, and embroidered apparel; yet the man of understanding will -look for the more refined beauties; the adornments of the mind. - -12. But however you may appear in company, and abroad, your real -character for lasting reputation and future happiness in the world, -must be formed and established at home; even in the kitchen, and in -attending to your domestic concerns. - -Here is where you are to form your character, not only for happiness, -but also for usefulness in the world. By attending to industry, -cookery, and all the domestic employments, you will qualify yourself -to become the mistress of a family; and not only so, but here you will -prepare yourself to be a worthy companion for a good and honest farmer, -a laborious mechanic, a rich merchant, or even a minister of the -gospel, or any other character whatever. - -I am willing to own, that was a flaunting beau or a coxcomb, going to -choose a partner for an afternoon or an evening, he would be likely to -make choice of one that was set out in what they are pleased to call -_complete bon ton_, that would please his fancy for just a moment to -pass away an idle hour. - -But was a virtuous young man about to make choice of a partner through -life; one with whom he expected to participate, not only in the -pleasures, but also in the sorrows and afflictions of life; one to be -his bosom companion and mistress of his family, and to travel with him -thro’ all the chequered scenes of the thorny maze of this wilderness -world; he would be likely to choose one who was studious in business, -well acquainted with domestic concerns, of an unsullied character, with -a soft and easy temper of mind and one to whom the cares of her family -would be her chief delight. - -Such a companion as this would ever make home agreeable. And whether -it should be their fortune to be rich or poor, every thing would go on -harmoniously, and the domestic affairs would be attended to in season, -and all things kept in proper order. And finally to conclude, we may -join with the poet, and say, that - - “This man while others roam, - Among the sons of strife; - Would be always happ’est when at home, - In converse with his wife.” - - - FINIS. - - - - - Transcriber’s Notes: - - ――Text in italics is enclosed by underscores (_italics_). - - ――Punctuation and spelling inaccuracies were silently corrected. - - ――Archaic and variable spelling has been preserved. - - ――Variations in hyphenation and compound words have been preserved. - - -*** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK YOUTHFUL FOLLY DETECTED *** - -Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions will -be renamed. - -Creating the works from print editions not protected by U.S. copyright -law means that no one owns a United States copyright in these works, -so the Foundation (and you!) can copy and distribute it in the -United States without permission and without paying copyright -royalties. 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