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+Project Gutenberg (https://www.gutenberg.org) public repository for
+eBook #69318 (https://www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/69318)
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-The Project Gutenberg eBook of Youthful folly detected, by Anonymous
-
-This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere in the United States and
-most other parts of the world at no cost and with almost no restrictions
-whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms
-of the Project Gutenberg License included with this eBook or online at
-www.gutenberg.org. If you are not located in the United States, you
-will have to check the laws of the country where you are located before
-using this eBook.
-
-Title: Youthful folly detected
- Written for the benefit of youth, particularly the female sex
-
-Author: Anonymous
-
-Release Date: November 8, 2022 [eBook #69318]
-
-Language: English
-
-Produced by: Charlene Taylor, Donald Cummings and the Online Distributed
- Proofreading Team at https://www.pgdp.net (This file was
- produced from images generously made available by The
- Internet Archive)
-
-*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK YOUTHFUL FOLLY DETECTED ***
-
-
-
-
-
- YOUTHFUL FOLLY
- DETECTED.
-
- _WRITTEN FOR THE BENEFIT OF
- YOUTH, PARTICULARLY THE_
- FEMALE SEX.
-
-
- The maid that walks in folly’s path,
- Thoughtless and heedless as she goes;
- Will land in misery at last,
- Beset around with many foes:
-
- But she who minds instruction young,
- Attentive to her bus’ness stays;
- In sweetest notes her name is sung,
- On harps of gold, where virtue plays.
-
-
- WALPOLE, N. H.
- PRINTED AT THE OBSERVATORY PRESS,
- _BY DAVID NEWHALL_.
-
- 1804.
-
-
-
-
- _ADVERTISEMENT._
-
-The following hints were originally designed for the benefit of a few
-individuals, for whom the author had a particular regard, and also felt
-himself under obligations to give them all that instruction which might
-be deemed necessary to guide them in the paths of virtue and morality,
-and to shun those vices which often ruin the female sex, and are too
-predominant in the world.
-
-But as all young people are in one predicament, and instructions that
-are suitable for one, may be equally applied to the whole; therefore,
-for the benefit of the present, and future rising generations, these
-few lines are made public.
-
-And although the Author would not blush to own this piece of work, yet,
-for certain reasons, his name is concealed.
-
-
-
-
- [Illustration]
-
- TO
- YOUNG FEMALES, &c.
-
-
-The most critical time of youth, especially of the female sex, is
-while they are in their juvenile years. At this age, when they are
-entering as it were upon the borders of life, to act in some degree for
-themselves, the greatest care and attention ought to be paid to them.
-And from the age of puberty, until they arrive to maturity, and are
-settled in the world, they ever ought to be considered as under the
-care and protecting eye of their parents, guardians, or masters.
-
-How can parents, guardians, or masters, feel as though they had
-discharged their duty towards their children, and those under their
-care, in this respect, when they see them, entering on the wheels of
-time, exposed to all the temptations of an alluring world, and scarcely
-or never give them one check or caution!
-
-And as it is to be feared that some parents, &c. are guilty of too
-much neglect on this hand, so others govern with too much restraint
-on the other. If you mean that your children should learn to govern
-themselves, you must learn it to them by experience; that is, by giving
-them a little lenity, together with your good counsel and advice, and
-according to their improvement, give them more and more, until they
-learn the art of self-government. But if you endeavor to keep them
-wholly under restraint, and never let them learn from experience the
-different manners and customs of people abroad; if they should happen
-to break out of your reach (as most likely they will, at certain times)
-they will (according to the vulgar expression) behave more like _hogs
-let out of the sty_; than like ladies; and not knowing the art of self
-government, they will be likely to break over all rules of decency and
-decorum.
-
-But although parents, &c. may pay the strictest attention to their
-children, &c. unless there is the greatest degree of caution and
-circumspection attended to, on the part of the children, it will avail
-but very little.
-
-Young people are apt to be insensible to the danger they are in, until
-their name is stained with a blot that is very hard to wipe away. The
-wise man has justly observed, that “A good name is rather to be chosen
-than great riches, and loving favor rather than silver and gold.”
-
-The reputation of youth, a young maiden more especially, may be
-compared to china ware, or transparent glass, which is very easily
-broken, but impossible to mend, so but what it will leave a blemish
-behind.
-
-How often does the thoughtless youth, in some unguarded hour, fall
-into some trifling folly or other which stamps a blur upon their
-characters, and fills their minds with shame and remorse. And it is
-too frequently the case, that in order to prevent the evils of one
-piece of bad conduct, they run into another, which only sinks them
-deeper and deeper. They then begin to give up all hopes of recovery,
-their minds become dissipated, and they give themselves over to all the
-vain delusions and allurements of time and sense. And as they travel
-on in the paths of folly, they become lost to all sense of virtue and
-morality, consequently happiness is fled, and they generally become
-slaves to misery and discontentment.
-
-Such a life as this would be thought scarcely worth possessing! yet how
-often do we behold those who appeared to be very promising when they
-first started in life, and presented to us the most pleasing prospects,
-land on these shores at last, and drag out a miserable life, with shame
-and ignominy: while on the other hand, it often happens, that those
-who make a small appearance, and are thought but a very little of,
-when they first set out in life; yet by attending to good instruction,
-and the strictest caution and prudence, they have arisen to honor and
-dignity in the world, and are loved and esteemed by all virtuous people.
-
-If these are facts, they show the importance of early attending to
-instruction.
-
-And that you, my young friend, blooming with virgin beauty, unsullied
-with vice, and unimpaired with age; that you may shun those pernicious
-practices that will lead you in shame and disgrace, and pursue those
-paths that will lead you to honor and dignity in the world, and gain
-you a name that is more valuable than silver or gold, I leave you the
-following
-
-
- RULES.
-
-1. Keep a due regard over all your thoughts, and see that they are
-intent upon the business in which you are employed, that you may pay a
-proper attention to the same.
-
-Nothing is more dangerous than an absent mind. It is rude to indulge
-the thoughts to rove upon indifferent objects, even when you are in
-company; but more especially when attending to your domestic concerns.
-If your thoughts are not mostly engaged in the business before you,
-time will steal away faster than you are aware of; night will come on
-before you are ready for it, many things must go undone that you ought
-to have attended to, and that which you have done will be apt to be
-slighted, or done to the halves; and you will thereby get to yourself
-rebukes and reproaches, which you might have easily prevented, and you
-will now begin to repent when it is too late to mend a bad day’s work.
-
-By indulging an absent mind, young people are apt to be deaf to
-all that is said to them, or at least, it does not make an abiding
-impression on their minds; by which means they are apt to do their work
-wrong, have it to undo, and do over again, and sometimes spoil it in
-the end; which will make them feel very much chagrined, and also it
-will fret, perplex, and weary the patience of those who employ them.
-
-All this might have been easily avoided by care and attention; and not
-only so, but you would improve in your business, and thereby make it
-become habitual and easy.
-
-You cannot expect to become master of any kind of business, without
-much care and attention; and this ought to make you more studious in
-the same, for remember, that there is no business that you will be
-likely to be called to attend to, now when young, but what (if you
-should ever have a family of your own) you must attend to the same for
-yourself, or at least, have it attended to; and therefore it is highly
-necessary that you should now become master of it.
-
-This is what ought to excite your mind now when young, that you may
-be well qualified to be mistress of your own family; and even if you
-should never have any family, this will do you no harm.
-
-2. Never flatter yourself that you know how the business should be
-done better than your teachers; therefore hear with patience their
-instructions, and always be submissive to their directions.
-
-Never contradict them in any sense whatever; but if you think that
-any other way, different from what they direct, would do better,
-you may inform them of it, but do it with the greatest modesty and
-circumspection; and if they comply with what you say, it is well, but
-if they do not, add no more, but obey as you were first directed.
-
-Always make the business of the day the first object, and then if you
-have any leisure hours, you may improve them to the best advantage and
-for your own profit and satisfaction.
-
-Never allow yourself to be peevish and fretful about your work, food,
-dress, or any thing of the like nature, even if the business does not
-go on to suit you; for this will only make the business more irksome
-and fatiguing, without any kind of benefit to yourself.
-
-3. Do not expect even from your best endeavors wholly to escape without
-censure. For the mind of youth is so fickle, it would be very strange
-if you did not sometimes go astray, and not do so well as you might;
-and if you do, you must expect reproof, and rebuke, and you ought to
-take it kindly, and endeavour to do better for the future.
-
-But even if you should always do your best, you must expect that you
-will sometimes do wrong, even for want of knowledge; and you cannot
-expect that people will always exercise that patience, so but what they
-will many times chide you, and find fault, even when you have done your
-best. All this you ought to bear with patience without a murmuring
-word: for if you are conscious to yourself that you have done as well
-as you could, even a sharp rebuke need not trouble you; for you may
-gain some knowledge by it, and therefore it may terminate for your own
-advantage. Besides, if you bear it with patience, and try to convince
-them by your future conduct that you used your best endeavors to have
-every thing done as it should be, this will have a tendency to convince
-them of their error, and cause them to exercise more patience for the
-future.
-
-Always pay a proper respect to your parents, guardians, or masters,
-and ever be submissive to their commands. Never try to aggravate them,
-even if they should find fault at trifles; that is, to treat the matter
-with a kind of indifferency, though you did not care to displease them;
-for this will only make them more fretful for the future.―― But if you
-are sensible that you have done wrong, you ought to confess it, and
-endeavour to reform; but if you think you are not to blame let the
-whole matter pass in silence.
-
-4. You must not only pay the greatest attention to your domestic
-concerns, but a proper decorum in all your words and actions must be
-attended to. Your leisure hours should be employed in reading useful
-books, which will be most likely to furnish your mind with a store of
-religious and moral improvements. Read the characters of those ladies
-who have lived virtuous and pious lives, and endeavour to imitate their
-examples.
-
-And if you should ever happen to read the characters of any profligate
-women (not to call them ladies) endeavour to make only this use of
-their characters; that is, to shun their vices, avoid their pernicious
-practices, and thereby escape the miseries that attend them.
-
-5. Endeavour to treat all persons with civility. Pay a proper respect
-to your superiors, complaisance to your equals and courteously treat
-those whom you shall deem to be your inferiors.
-
-Establish in your own mind a certain rule of decency and modesty, to
-be attended to in all companies, and at all times, whether at home or
-abroad.
-
-In all companies, give each one an opportunity for their proper share
-of conversation. Remember that a talkative, loquacious woman, a
-young woman more especially, often exposes her weakness, and sickens
-the ear with her babblings. “The torrent of her words overwhelmeth
-conversation.” Therefore every species of rudeness ought to be
-avoided as unbecoming your sex. Again, frequent and loud laughter doth
-not become any person, especially a woman, and a young woman more
-especially.―― Therefore it ought to be avoided on all occasions as not
-belonging to the rules of decency, and as unbecoming the fair sex.
-
-6. The strictest attention must be paid to the conversation which you
-may occasionally have with the other sex. Be not forward in beginning a
-conversation with them; but be always ready to return all compliments
-that may be given to you with an easy address, and in a becoming
-manner, without being daunted or even put to the blush.
-
-In order to facilitate this business, endeavour to treasure up in your
-memory, those addresses and compliments, that by constant observation,
-you may hear drop from those whom you deem to be your superiors; and
-endeavor to make them familiar to yourself, so that you may be able to
-use them on any occasion, with propriety, & without the appearance of
-affectation or dissimulation.
-
-And as you would avoid a prudish disposition on the one hand, so you
-must equally avoid a volatile, idle, and wanton disposition on the
-other. To facilitate which, give yourself more to thinking and less to
-talking, so that when you do speak, you may always speak with decency,
-modesty, and propriety. Always mind to speak plain and distinctly,
-and loud enough to be understood, with a modest smile on your face,
-without a rude look in your countenance.
-
-But let your speeches be short and comprehensive; and never try to
-prolong a conversation, unless it be upon topics that are becoming your
-sex. But if the conversation should be disagreeable and unbecoming,
-endeavor to turn the attention to some other object, introduce some
-other topic, or else find an occasion of absence.
-
-7. Remember that the bloom of your youth, your healthy and ruddy
-countenances, the rose on your cheeks, and the sparkling vigor of your
-eyes, will gain you more admirers than real lovers. Here pause for a
-few moments and consider! for it is the most delicate point for you to
-steer through and your name and reputation to remain unsullied.
-
-How often doth the blooming and most promising youth, by one fatal
-misstep, stain their characters with ignominy, and blast their
-reputation forever.
-
-It is much easier to avoid temptation, than to resist the deceitful
-arts of the tempter.
-
-The deceitful heart of a fond admirer, out of a vain pretence of love
-and affection, will work upon every passion that wit can invent or
-lust suggest, in order to allure your affections, intrude upon your
-chastity, and win you over to their fond embraces, and carnal appetites.
-
-O heed not their flatteries, neither give way to their alluring
-and licentious persuasions! for when they have ruined you, their
-flatteries will be turned into contempt, and their pretended love into
-downright hatred. And in the end, they will even forsake you, without
-regard or pity. Therefore beware of sycophants! and be not deceived
-by their enticing words! Even if they reproach you to your face for
-your rigorous treatment, yet behind your back, they will applaud your
-constancy.
-
-Remember that the taste may be satiated with the sweetest fruit,
-where there is a full enjoyment; but let a person participate only by
-anticipation, and the nearer to enjoyment, the more valuable the prize
-will be.
-
-8. Learn to distinguish between true, genuine love, and mere fancy. He
-who truly loves or respects you, will not wish to have you violate
-your honor or chastity, neither will he violently intrude upon the
-same, although he may endeavour to prove your constancy.
-
-Therefore when you have reason to believe that any one sincerely
-respects you, and if you also wish to continue to be worthy of his
-esteem; remember that you cannot do any thing more against yourself
-than to give over your chastity, or go beyond rules of decency.
-
-But if you have reason to believe that any one’s pretended love is
-nothing more than mere fancy, which will generally shew itself by a
-vehement fondness; vows, promises, &c. learn to treat it with a silent
-neglect; for his utmost wishes will never promote your real happiness.
-
-9. Be not anxious to be admired by every one, but only be careful that
-the virtuous have no occasion to speak evil against you; to avoid which
-you have only to live a virtuous life.
-
-Keep a due regard over all your words and actions; not only when you
-are with those whom you esteem to be virtuous, but even if you should
-happen to fall in company with those of the baser sort.
-
-It hath been an old maxim, _that when we are with the Romans, we must
-do as the Romans do_. And the maxim may be a good one, so far as we can
-comply with it, and not break over the rules of decency and propriety;
-but no farther. For it is no rule, neither will it be any excuse for
-you, to be loose, vain, or lascivious, even if you should happen to
-fall in company with persons of this description. But the wiser method
-is, to avoid all such company; for the characters of persons are often
-judged by the company they keep. Therefore, if you would wish to avoid
-the reproaches of every one, you must not only abstain from vice
-yourself, but you must forsake the company of the vicious.
-
-10. Do not reveal your secrets to any one, unless it will be as much
-for their interest to keep, as it will be for yours to have them kept;
-and never reveal the secrets of others, when it will not injure you to
-keep them.
-
-Never make any promise that you do not mean to perform; and fulfil all
-your promises when you have once made them; unless you find that you
-were deceived when you made them, and therefore ought not to have
-promised.
-
-Never speak of the failings of another to a third person, but with the
-greatest reluctance, especially those of your own sex. If you can say
-no good of persons, you had better say nothing about them. For as you
-would not wish to have your own failings published to the world, so you
-must be exceeding careful not to publish the failings of others.
-
-But should you discover a failing in your friend, you may, and ought to
-remind him or her of it, between you and them alone, but do it with the
-greatest modesty. And if your friends should tell you of a fault, take
-it kindly of them and endeavor to reform.
-
-Never appear to slight the company of any one, while in their presence,
-even if it should be disagreeable; but rather endeavor to find some just
-occasion of absence, and avoid their company for the future.
-
-Treat every one with civility, but use no flattery nor dissimulation
-to any one; but let the words of your mouth be the sentiments of your
-heart.
-
-11. Do not try to outvie all others in dress, &c. but let your dress
-be modest, and suited to your circumstances. Remember that a real
-character doth not consist in the outward adornings of the body, but in
-the inward adornings of the mind and understanding.
-
-Although a fop, or a coxcomb, might be charmed at the sight of fine
-ribbons, and embroidered apparel; yet the man of understanding will
-look for the more refined beauties; the adornments of the mind.
-
-12. But however you may appear in company, and abroad, your real
-character for lasting reputation and future happiness in the world,
-must be formed and established at home; even in the kitchen, and in
-attending to your domestic concerns.
-
-Here is where you are to form your character, not only for happiness,
-but also for usefulness in the world. By attending to industry,
-cookery, and all the domestic employments, you will qualify yourself
-to become the mistress of a family; and not only so, but here you will
-prepare yourself to be a worthy companion for a good and honest farmer,
-a laborious mechanic, a rich merchant, or even a minister of the
-gospel, or any other character whatever.
-
-I am willing to own, that was a flaunting beau or a coxcomb, going to
-choose a partner for an afternoon or an evening, he would be likely to
-make choice of one that was set out in what they are pleased to call
-_complete bon ton_, that would please his fancy for just a moment to
-pass away an idle hour.
-
-But was a virtuous young man about to make choice of a partner through
-life; one with whom he expected to participate, not only in the
-pleasures, but also in the sorrows and afflictions of life; one to be
-his bosom companion and mistress of his family, and to travel with him
-thro’ all the chequered scenes of the thorny maze of this wilderness
-world; he would be likely to choose one who was studious in business,
-well acquainted with domestic concerns, of an unsullied character, with
-a soft and easy temper of mind and one to whom the cares of her family
-would be her chief delight.
-
-Such a companion as this would ever make home agreeable. And whether
-it should be their fortune to be rich or poor, every thing would go on
-harmoniously, and the domestic affairs would be attended to in season,
-and all things kept in proper order. And finally to conclude, we may
-join with the poet, and say, that
-
- “This man while others roam,
- Among the sons of strife;
- Would be always happ’est when at home,
- In converse with his wife.”
-
-
- FINIS.
-
-
-
-
- Transcriber’s Notes:
-
- ――Text in italics is enclosed by underscores (_italics_).
-
- ――Punctuation and spelling inaccuracies were silently corrected.
-
- ――Archaic and variable spelling has been preserved.
-
- ――Variations in hyphenation and compound words have been preserved.
-
-
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- <meta charset="UTF-8">
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- <title>
- Youthful Folly Detected, by Anonymous—A Project Gutenberg eBook
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-<body>
-<p style='text-align:center; font-size:1.2em; font-weight:bold'>The Project Gutenberg eBook of Youthful folly detected, by Anonymous</p>
-<div style='display:block; margin:1em 0'>
-This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere in the United States and
-most other parts of the world at no cost and with almost no restrictions
-whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms
-of the Project Gutenberg License included with this eBook or online
-at <a href="https://www.gutenberg.org">www.gutenberg.org</a>. If you
-are not located in the United States, you will have to check the laws of the
-country where you are located before using this eBook.
-</div>
-
-<p style='display:block; margin-top:1em; margin-bottom:0; margin-left:2em; text-indent:-2em'>Title: Youthful folly detected</p>
-<p style='display:block; margin-left:2em; text-indent:0; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:1em;'>Written for the benefit of youth, particularly the female sex</p>
-<p style='display:block; margin-top:1em; margin-bottom:0; margin-left:2em; text-indent:-2em'>Author: Anonymous</p>
-<p style='display:block; text-indent:0; margin:1em 0'>Release Date: November 8, 2022 [eBook #69318]</p>
-<p style='display:block; text-indent:0; margin:1em 0'>Language: English</p>
- <p style='display:block; margin-top:1em; margin-bottom:0; margin-left:2em; text-indent:-2em; text-align:left'>Produced by: Charlene Taylor, Donald Cummings and the Online Distributed Proofreading Team at https://www.pgdp.net (This file was produced from images generously made available by The Internet Archive)</p>
-<div style='margin-top:2em; margin-bottom:4em'>*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK YOUTHFUL FOLLY DETECTED ***</div>
-
-
-<div class="figcenter" id="cover_sm">
- <img src="images/cover_sm.jpg" alt="cover" title="cover">
- <div class="caption">
- <p class="noic">Transcriber’s Note: The cover image was created from the title
-page by the transcriber and is placed in the public domain.</p>
- </div>
-</div>
-
-
-
-
-<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop">
-
-<div class="chapter">
-<h1 class="nobreak">YOUTHFUL FOLLY<br>
-<small>DETECTED.</small></h1>
-
-<p class="noi author"><i>WRITTEN FOR THE BENEFIT OF<br>
-YOUTH, PARTICULARLY THE</i></p>
-
-<p class="noi subtitle">FEMALE SEX.</p>
-
-<div class="figcenter" id="i_titlepg_deco1">
- <img class="illowe20" src="images/i_titlepg_deco1.jpg" alt="decoration" title="decoration">
-</div>
-
-<div class="poetry-container">
-<div class="poetry">
- <div class="stanza">
- <div class="verse indent0">The maid that walks in folly’s path,</div>
- <div class="verse indent0">Thoughtless and heedless as she goes;</div>
- <div class="verse indent0">Will land in misery at last,</div>
- <div class="verse indent0">Beset around with many foes:</div>
- </div>
- <div class="stanza">
- <div class="verse indent0">But she who minds instruction young,</div>
- <div class="verse indent0">Attentive to her bus’ness stays;</div>
- <div class="verse indent0">In sweetest notes her name is sung,</div>
- <div class="verse indent0">On harps of gold, where virtue plays.</div>
- </div>
-</div>
-</div>
-
-<div class="figcenter" id="i_titlepg_deco2">
- <img class="illowe20" src="images/i_titlepg_deco2.jpg" alt="decoration" title="decoration">
-</div>
-
-<p class="noic"><span class="adauthor">WALPOLE, N. H.</span><br>
-PRINTED AT THE OBSERVATORY PRESS,<br>
-<span class="adauthor"><i>BY DAVID NEWHALL</i>.</span></p>
-
-<div class="figcenter" id="i_titlepg_deco3">
- <img class="illowe6" src="images/i_titlepg_deco3.jpg" alt="decoration" title="decoration">
-</div>
-
-<p class="noi adauthor">1804.</p>
-</div>
-
-
-
-
-<div class="chapter">
-<div class="figcenter illowp100" id="i_ad_deco">
- <img class="p2 illowp100" src="images/i_ad_deco.jpg" alt="decoration" title="decoration">
-</div>
-
-<h2 class="nobreak" id="ADVERTISEMENT"><i>ADVERTISEMENT.</i></h2>
-</div>
-
-
-<p>The following hints were originally designed
-for the benefit of a few individuals,
-for whom the author had a particular regard,
-and also felt himself under obligations
-to give them all that instruction which might
-be deemed necessary to guide them in the
-paths of virtue and morality, and to shun
-those vices which often ruin the female sex,
-and are too predominant in the world.</p>
-
-<p>But as all young people are in one predicament,
-and instructions that are suitable
-for one, may be equally applied to the
-whole; therefore, for the benefit of the
-present, and future rising generations, these
-few lines are made public.</p>
-
-<p>And although the Author would not blush
-to own this piece of work, yet, for certain
-reasons, his name is concealed.</p>
-
-
-
-
-<div class="chapter">
-<p><span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_5"></a>[5]</span></p>
-
-<div class="figcenter" id="i_content_deco">
- <img class="p2 illowp100" src="images/i_content_deco.jpg" alt="decoration" title="decoration">
-</div>
-
-<h2 class="nobreak" id="YOUNG"><small>TO</small><br>
-YOUNG FEMALES, &amp;c.</h2>
-</div>
-
-
-<p>The most critical time of youth,
-especially of the female sex, is while
-they are in their juvenile years. At
-this age, when they are entering as
-it were upon the borders of life, to
-act in some degree for themselves,
-the greatest care and attention ought
-to be paid to them. And from the
-age of puberty, until they arrive to
-maturity, and are settled in the
-world, they ever ought to be considered
-as under the care and protecting
-eye of their parents, guardians,
-or masters.</p>
-
-<p>How can parents, guardians, or
-masters, feel as though they had<span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_6"></a>[6]</span>
-discharged their duty towards their
-children, and those under their care,
-in this respect, when they see them,
-entering on the wheels of time, exposed
-to all the temptations of an
-alluring world, and scarcely or never
-give them one check or caution!</p>
-
-<p>And as it is to be feared that some
-parents, &amp;c. are guilty of too much
-neglect on this hand, so others govern
-with too much restraint on the
-other. If you mean that your children
-should learn to govern themselves,
-you must learn it to them by
-experience; that is, by giving them
-a little lenity, together with your
-good counsel and advice, and according
-to their improvement, give them
-more and more, until they learn the
-art of self-government. But if you
-endeavor to keep them wholly under<span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_7"></a>[7]</span>
-restraint, and never let them learn
-from experience the different manners
-and customs of people abroad; if
-they should happen to break out of
-your reach (as most likely they will,
-at certain times) they will (according
-to the vulgar expression) behave
-more like <em>hogs let out of the sty</em>; than
-like ladies; and not knowing the
-art of self government, they will be
-likely to break over all rules of decency
-and decorum.</p>
-
-<p>But although parents, &amp;c. may
-pay the strictest attention to their
-children, &amp;c. unless there is the
-greatest degree of caution and circumspection
-attended to, on the part
-of the children, it will avail but very
-little.</p>
-
-<p>Young people are apt to be insensible
-to the danger they are in,<span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_8"></a>[8]</span>
-until their name is stained with a
-blot that is very hard to wipe away.
-The wise man has justly observed,
-that “A good name is rather to be
-chosen than great riches, and loving
-favor rather than silver and gold.”</p>
-
-<p>The reputation of youth, a young
-maiden more especially, may be compared
-to china ware, or transparent
-glass, which is very easily broken,
-but impossible to mend, so but what
-it will leave a blemish behind.</p>
-
-<p>How often does the thoughtless
-youth, in some unguarded hour,
-fall into some trifling folly or other
-which stamps a blur upon their characters,
-and fills their minds with
-shame and remorse. And it is too
-frequently the case, that in order to
-prevent the evils of one piece of
-bad conduct, they run into another,<span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_9"></a>[9]</span>
-which only sinks them deeper and
-deeper. They then begin to give
-up all hopes of recovery, their minds
-become dissipated, and they give
-themselves over to all the vain delusions
-and allurements of time and
-sense. And as they travel on in the
-paths of folly, they become lost to
-all sense of virtue and morality,
-consequently happiness is fled, and
-they generally become slaves to misery
-and discontentment.</p>
-
-<p>Such a life as this would be thought
-scarcely worth possessing! yet how
-often do we behold those who appeared
-to be very promising when
-they first started in life, and presented
-to us the most pleasing prospects,
-land on these shores at last, and
-drag out a miserable life, with shame
-and ignominy: while on the other<span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_10"></a>[10]</span>
-hand, it often happens, that those
-who make a small appearance, and
-are thought but a very little of,
-when they first set out in life; yet
-by attending to good instruction, and
-the strictest caution and prudence,
-they have arisen to honor and dignity
-in the world, and are loved and
-esteemed by all virtuous people.</p>
-
-<p>If these are facts, they show the
-importance of early attending to instruction.</p>
-
-<p>And that you, my young friend,
-blooming with virgin beauty, unsullied
-with vice, and unimpaired with
-age; that you may shun those pernicious
-practices that will lead you
-in shame and disgrace, and pursue
-those paths that will lead you to honor
-and dignity in the world, and
-gain you a name that is more valuable<span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_11"></a>[11]</span>
-than silver or gold, I leave you
-the following</p>
-
-
-<h3>RULES.</h3>
-
-<p>1. Keep a due regard over all
-your thoughts, and see that they are
-intent upon the business in which
-you are employed, that you may pay
-a proper attention to the same.</p>
-
-<p>Nothing is more dangerous than
-an absent mind. It is rude to indulge
-the thoughts to rove upon indifferent
-objects, even when you are
-in company; but more especially
-when attending to your domestic
-concerns. If your thoughts are not
-mostly engaged in the business before
-you, time will steal away faster
-than you are aware of; night will
-come on before you are ready for it,
-many things must go undone that<span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_12"></a>[12]</span>
-you ought to have attended to, and
-that which you have done will be
-apt to be slighted, or done to the
-halves; and you will thereby get to
-yourself rebukes and reproaches,
-which you might have easily prevented,
-and you will now begin to
-repent when it is too late to mend
-a bad day’s work.</p>
-
-<p>By indulging an absent mind,
-young people are apt to be deaf to
-all that is said to them, or at least, it
-does not make an abiding impression
-on their minds; by which means
-they are apt to do their work wrong,
-have it to undo, and do over again,
-and sometimes spoil it in the end;
-which will make them feel very
-much chagrined, and also it will fret,
-perplex, and weary the patience of
-those who employ them.</p>
-
-<p><span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_13"></a>[13]</span></p>
-
-<p>All this might have been easily avoided
-by care and attention; and
-not only so, but you would improve
-in your business, and thereby make
-it become habitual and easy.</p>
-
-<p>You cannot expect to become
-master of any kind of business, without
-much care and attention; and
-this ought to make you more studious
-in the same, for remember, that
-there is no business that you will be
-likely to be called to attend to, now
-when young, but what (if you should
-ever have a family of your own) you
-must attend to the same for yourself,
-or at least, have it attended to;
-and therefore it is highly necessary
-that you should now become master
-of it.</p>
-
-<p>This is what ought to excite
-your mind now when young, that<span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_14"></a>[14]</span>
-you may be well qualified to be mistress
-of your own family; and even
-if you should never have any family,
-this will do you no harm.</p>
-
-<p>2. Never flatter yourself that
-you know how the business should
-be done better than your teachers;
-therefore hear with patience their
-instructions, and always be submissive
-to their directions.</p>
-
-<p>Never contradict them in any sense
-whatever; but if you think that any
-other way, different from what they
-direct, would do better, you may inform
-them of it, but do it with the
-greatest modesty and circumspection;
-and if they comply with what
-you say, it is well, but if they do not,
-add no more, but obey as you were
-first directed.</p>
-
-<p>Always make the business of the<span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_15"></a>[15]</span>
-day the first object, and then if you
-have any leisure hours, you may
-improve them to the best advantage
-and for your own profit and satisfaction.</p>
-
-<p>Never allow yourself to be peevish
-and fretful about your work,
-food, dress, or any thing of the like
-nature, even if the business does
-not go on to suit you; for this will
-only make the business more irksome
-and fatiguing, without any
-kind of benefit to yourself.</p>
-
-<p>3. Do not expect even from your
-best endeavors wholly to escape
-without censure. For the mind of
-youth is so fickle, it would be very
-strange if you did not sometimes go
-astray, and not do so well as you
-might; and if you do, you must expect
-reproof, and rebuke, and you<span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_16"></a>[16]</span>
-ought to take it kindly, and endeavour
-to do better for the future.</p>
-
-<p>But even if you should always do
-your best, you must expect that you
-will sometimes do wrong, even for
-want of knowledge; and you cannot
-expect that people will always
-exercise that patience, so but what
-they will many times chide you,
-and find fault, even when you have
-done your best. All this you ought
-to bear with patience without a murmuring
-word: for if you are conscious
-to yourself that you have
-done as well as you could, even a
-sharp rebuke need not trouble you;
-for you may gain some knowledge by
-it, and therefore it may terminate for
-your own advantage. Besides, if
-you bear it with patience, and try to
-convince them by your future conduct<span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_17"></a>[17]</span>
-that you used your best endeavors
-to have every thing done
-as it should be, this will have a tendency
-to convince them of their error,
-and cause them to exercise
-more patience for the future.</p>
-
-<p>Always pay a proper respect
-to your parents, guardians, or masters,
-and ever be submissive to their
-commands. Never try to aggravate
-them, even if they should find
-fault at trifles; that is, to treat the
-matter with a kind of indifferency,
-though you did not care to displease
-them; for this will only make
-them more fretful for the future.—
-But if you are sensible that you
-have done wrong, you ought to confess
-it, and endeavour to reform;
-but if you think you are not to blame
-let the whole matter pass in silence.</p>
-
-<p><span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_18"></a>[18]</span></p>
-
-<p>4. You must not only pay the
-greatest attention to your domestic
-concerns, but a proper decorum in
-all your words and actions must be
-attended to. Your leisure hours
-should be employed in reading useful
-books, which will be most likely
-to furnish your mind with a store
-of religious and moral improvements.
-Read the characters of those ladies
-who have lived virtuous and pious
-lives, and endeavour to imitate their
-examples.</p>
-
-<p>And if you should ever happen
-to read the characters of any profligate
-women (not to call them ladies)
-endeavour to make only this use of
-their characters; that is, to shun
-their vices, avoid their pernicious
-practices, and thereby escape the
-miseries that attend them.</p>
-
-<p><span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_19"></a>[19]</span></p>
-
-<p>5. Endeavour to treat all persons
-with civility. Pay a proper respect
-to your superiors, complaisance to
-your equals and courteously treat
-those whom you shall deem to be
-your inferiors.</p>
-
-<p>Establish in your own mind a certain
-rule of decency and modesty,
-to be attended to in all companies,
-and at all times, whether at home or
-abroad.</p>
-
-<p>In all companies, give each one
-an opportunity for their proper
-share of conversation. Remember
-that a talkative, loquacious woman,
-a young woman more especially,
-often exposes her weakness,
-and sickens the ear with her babblings.
-“The torrent of her words
-overwhelmeth conversation.” Therefore
-every species of rudeness ought<span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_20"></a>[20]</span>
-to be avoided as unbecoming your
-sex. Again, frequent and loud
-laughter doth not become any person,
-especially a woman, and a
-young woman more especially.—
-Therefore it ought to be avoided
-on all occasions as not belonging to
-the rules of decency, and as unbecoming
-the fair sex.</p>
-
-<p>6. The strictest attention must
-be paid to the conversation which
-you may occasionally have with the
-other sex. Be not forward in beginning
-a conversation with them;
-but be always ready to return all
-compliments that may be given to
-you with an easy address, and in
-a becoming manner, without being
-daunted or even put to the blush.</p>
-
-<p>In order to facilitate this business,
-endeavour to treasure up in your<span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_21"></a>[21]</span>
-memory, those addresses and compliments,
-that by constant observation,
-you may hear drop from those
-whom you deem to be your superiors;
-and endeavor to make them
-familiar to yourself, so that you may
-be able to use them on any occasion,
-with propriety, &amp; without the appearance
-of affectation or dissimulation.</p>
-
-<p>And as you would avoid a prudish
-disposition on the one hand, so
-you must equally avoid a volatile,
-idle, and wanton disposition on the
-other. To facilitate which, give
-yourself more to thinking and less
-to talking, so that when you do
-speak, you may always speak with
-decency, modesty, and propriety.
-Always mind to speak plain
-and distinctly, and loud enough to
-be understood, with a modest smile<span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_22"></a>[22]</span>
-on your face, without a rude look in
-your countenance.</p>
-
-<p>But let your speeches be short and
-comprehensive; and never try to
-prolong a conversation, unless it be
-upon topics that are becoming your
-sex. But if the conversation should
-be disagreeable and unbecoming,
-endeavor to turn the attention to
-some other object, introduce some
-other topic, or else find an occasion
-of absence.</p>
-
-<p>7. Remember that the bloom of
-your youth, your healthy and ruddy
-countenances, the rose on your
-cheeks, and the sparkling vigor of
-your eyes, will gain you more admirers
-than real lovers. Here pause
-for a few moments and consider!
-for it is the most delicate point for
-you to steer through and your name<span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_23"></a>[23]</span>
-and reputation to remain unsullied.</p>
-
-<p>How often doth the blooming and
-most promising youth, by one fatal
-misstep, stain their characters with
-ignominy, and blast their reputation
-forever.</p>
-
-<p>It is much easier to avoid temptation,
-than to resist the deceitful arts
-of the tempter.</p>
-
-<p>The deceitful heart of a fond
-admirer, out of a vain pretence
-of love and affection, will work upon
-every passion that wit can invent or
-lust suggest, in order to allure your
-affections, intrude upon your chastity,
-and win you over to their fond
-embraces, and carnal appetites.</p>
-
-<p>O heed not their flatteries, neither
-give way to their alluring and licentious
-persuasions! for when they
-have ruined you, their flatteries will<span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_24"></a>[24]</span>
-be turned into contempt, and their
-pretended love into downright hatred.
-And in the end, they will even
-forsake you, without regard or pity.
-Therefore beware of sycophants!
-and be not deceived by their enticing
-words! Even if they reproach
-you to your face for your rigorous
-treatment, yet behind your back,
-they will applaud your constancy.</p>
-
-<p>Remember that the taste may be
-satiated with the sweetest fruit,
-where there is a full enjoyment;
-but let a person participate only by
-anticipation, and the nearer to enjoyment,
-the more valuable the prize
-will be.</p>
-
-<p>8. Learn to distinguish between
-true, genuine love, and mere fancy.
-He who truly loves or respects you,
-will not wish to have you violate<span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_25"></a>[25]</span>
-your honor or chastity, neither will
-he violently intrude upon the same,
-although he may endeavour to prove
-your constancy.</p>
-
-<p>Therefore when you have reason
-to believe that any one sincerely respects
-you, and if you also wish to
-continue to be worthy of his esteem;
-remember that you cannot do any
-thing more against yourself than to
-give over your chastity, or go beyond
-rules of decency.</p>
-
-<p>But if you have reason to believe
-that any one’s pretended love is
-nothing more than mere fancy, which
-will generally shew itself by a vehement
-fondness; vows, promises, &amp;c.
-learn to treat it with a silent neglect;
-for his utmost wishes will never
-promote your real happiness.</p>
-
-<p>9. Be not anxious to be admired<span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_26"></a>[26]</span>
-by every one, but only be careful
-that the virtuous have no occasion
-to speak evil against you; to avoid
-which you have only to live a virtuous
-life.</p>
-
-<p>Keep a due regard over all your
-words and actions; not only when
-you are with those whom you esteem
-to be virtuous, but even if you
-should happen to fall in company
-with those of the baser sort.</p>
-
-<p>It hath been an old maxim, <em>that
-when we are with the Romans, we
-must do as the Romans do</em>. And the
-maxim may be a good one, so far as
-we can comply with it, and not break
-over the rules of decency and propriety;
-but no farther. For it is no
-rule, neither will it be any excuse for
-you, to be loose, vain, or lascivious,
-even if you should happen to fall in<span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_27"></a>[27]</span>
-company with persons of this description.
-But the wiser method is,
-to avoid all such company; for the
-characters of persons are often judged
-by the company they keep. Therefore,
-if you would wish to avoid the reproaches
-of every one, you must not
-only abstain from vice yourself, but
-you must forsake the company of
-the vicious.</p>
-
-<p>10. Do not reveal your secrets to
-any one, unless it will be as much for
-their interest to keep, as it will be for
-yours to have them kept; and never
-reveal the secrets of others, when it
-will not injure you to keep them.</p>
-
-<p>Never make any promise that
-you do not mean to perform; and
-fulfil all your promises when you
-have once made them; unless you
-find that you were deceived when<span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_28"></a>[28]</span>
-you made them, and therefore ought
-not to have promised.</p>
-
-<p>Never speak of the failings of another
-to a third person, but with the
-greatest reluctance, especially those
-of your own sex. If you can say no
-good of persons, you had better say
-nothing about them. For as you would
-not wish to have your own failings
-published to the world, so you must
-be exceeding careful not to publish
-the failings of others.</p>
-
-<p>But should you discover a failing
-in your friend, you may, and ought
-to remind him or her of it, between
-you and them alone, but do it with
-the greatest modesty. And if your
-friends should tell you of a fault,
-take it kindly of them and endeavor
-to reform.</p>
-
-<p>Never appear to slight the company<span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_29"></a>[29]</span>
-of any one, while in their presence,
-even if it should be disagreeable;
-but rather endeavor to find some
-just occasion of absence, and avoid
-their company for the future.</p>
-
-<p>Treat every one with civility, but
-use no flattery nor dissimulation to
-any one; but let the words of your
-mouth be the sentiments of your heart.</p>
-
-<p>11. Do not try to outvie all others
-in dress, &amp;c. but let your dress
-be modest, and suited to your circumstances.
-Remember that a real character
-doth not consist in the outward
-adornings of the body, but in the
-inward adornings of the mind and
-understanding.</p>
-
-<p>Although a fop, or a coxcomb,
-might be charmed at the sight of
-fine ribbons, and embroidered apparel;
-yet the man of understanding<span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_30"></a>[30]</span>
-will look for the more refined beauties;
-the adornments of the mind.</p>
-
-<p>12. But however you may appear
-in company, and abroad, your real
-character for lasting reputation and
-future happiness in the world, must
-be formed and established at home;
-even in the kitchen, and in attending
-to your domestic concerns.</p>
-
-<p>Here is where you are to form
-your character, not only for happiness,
-but also for usefulness in the
-world. By attending to industry,
-cookery, and all the domestic employments,
-you will qualify yourself
-to become the mistress of a family;
-and not only so, but here you will
-prepare yourself to be a worthy companion
-for a good and honest farmer,
-a laborious mechanic, a rich merchant,
-or even a minister of the gospel,<span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_31"></a>[31]</span>
-or any other character whatever.</p>
-
-<p>I am willing to own, that was a
-flaunting beau or a coxcomb, going
-to choose a partner for an afternoon
-or an evening, he would be likely to
-make choice of one that was set out
-in what they are pleased to call <em>complete
-bon ton</em>, that would please his
-fancy for just a moment to pass away
-an idle hour.</p>
-
-<p>But was a virtuous young man
-about to make choice of a partner
-through life; one with whom he expected
-to participate, not only in the
-pleasures, but also in the sorrows
-and afflictions of life; one to be his
-bosom companion and mistress of his
-family, and to travel with him thro’
-all the chequered scenes of the
-thorny maze of this wilderness world;
-he would be likely to choose one who<span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_32"></a>[32]</span>
-was studious in business, well acquainted
-with domestic concerns, of
-an unsullied character, with a soft
-and easy temper of mind and one to
-whom the cares of her family would
-be her chief delight.</p>
-
-<p>Such a companion as this would
-ever make home agreeable. And
-whether it should be their fortune to
-be rich or poor, every thing would
-go on harmoniously, and the domestic
-affairs would be attended to
-in season, and all things kept in
-proper order. And finally to conclude,
-we may join with the poet,
-and say, that</p>
-
-<div class="poetry-container">
-<div class="poetry">
- <div class="stanza">
- <div class="verse indent0">“This man while others roam,</div>
- <div class="verse indent0">Among the sons of strife;</div>
- <div class="verse indent0">Would be always happ’est when at home,</div>
- <div class="verse indent0">In converse with his wife.”</div>
- </div>
-</div>
-</div>
-
-<p class="p2 noic">FINIS.</p>
-
-
-
-
-<hr class="chap">
-<div class="tnote">
-<p class="noi tntitle">Transcriber’s Notes:</p>
-
-<p class="smfont">Punctuation and spelling inaccuracies were silently corrected.</p>
-
-<p class="smfont">Archaic and variable spelling has been preserved.</p>
-
-<p class="smfont">Variations in hyphenation and compound words have been preserved.</p>
-</div>
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