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+This eBook, including all associated images, markup, improvements,
+metadata, and any other content or labor, has been confirmed to be
+in the PUBLIC DOMAIN IN THE UNITED STATES.
+
+Procedures for determining public domain status are described in
+the "Copyright How-To" at https://www.gutenberg.org.
+
+No investigation has been made concerning possible copyrights in
+jurisdictions other than the United States. Anyone seeking to utilize
+this eBook outside of the United States should confirm copyright
+status under the laws that apply to them.
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+Project Gutenberg (https://www.gutenberg.org) public repository for
+eBook #68405 (https://www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/68405)
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-The Project Gutenberg eBook of The Philistine: a periodical of
-protest (Vol. I, No. 5, October 1895), by Various
-
-This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere in the United States and
-most other parts of the world at no cost and with almost no restrictions
-whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms
-of the Project Gutenberg License included with this eBook or online at
-www.gutenberg.org. If you are not located in the United States, you
-will have to check the laws of the country where you are located before
-using this eBook.
-
-Title: The Philistine: a periodical of protest (Vol. I, No. 5, October
-       1895)
-
-Author: Various
-
-Release Date: June 25, 2022 [eBook #68405]
-
-Language: English
-
-Produced by: hekula03 and the Online Distributed Proofreading Team at
-             https://www.pgdp.net (This book was produced from images
-             made available by the HathiTrust Digital Library.)
-
-*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE PHILISTINE: A PERIODICAL
-OF PROTEST (VOL. I, NO. 5, OCTOBER 1895) ***
-
-
-
-
-
-
-                              The Philistine
-                         A Periodical of Protest.
-
-                _Would to God my name were not so terrible
-                   to the enemy as it is._—HENRY VIII.
-
-                        [Illustration: No. Five.]
-
-                        Printed Every Little While
-                    for The Society of The Philistines
-                             and Published by
-                       Them Monthly. Subscription,
-                            One Dollar Yearly
-                         Single Copies, 10 Cents.
-                              October, 1895.
-
-
-
-
-_SPECIAL._
-
-
-The Bibelot for 1895, complete in the original wrappers, uncut, is now
-supplied on full paid subscriptions only, at 75 cents net.
-
-On completion of Volume I in December the price will be $1.00 net in
-wrappers, and $1.50 net in covers. INVARIABLY POSTPAID.
-
-Covers for Volume I ready in November. These will be in old style boards,
-in keeping with the artistic make-up of THE BIBELOT, and are supplied at
-30 cents, postpaid. _End papers and Title-page are included_, whereby the
-local binder can case up the volume at about the cost of postage were it,
-as is usual, returned to the publisher for binding.
-
-Back Numbers are 10 cents each, subject to further advance as the edition
-decreases.
-
-=Numbers Issued:=
-
-       _I._ _Lyrics from William Blake._
-      _II._ _Ballades from Francois Villon._
-     _III._ _Mediæval Latin Students’ Songs._
-      _IV._ _A Discourse of Marcus Aurelius._
-       _V._ _Fragments from Sappho._
-      _VI._ _Sonnets on English Dramatic Poets._
-     _VII._ _The Pathos of the Rose in Poetry._
-    _VIII._ _Lyrics from James Thomson (B. V.)_
-      _IX._ _Hand and Soul: D. G. Rosetti._
-       _X._ _A Book of Airs from Campion, (October.)_
-
-                       THOMAS B. MOSHER, Publisher,
-                             Portland, Maine.
-
-
-
-
-_LITTLE JOURNEYS_
-
-To the Homes of Good Men and Great.
-
-_A series of literary studies published in monthly numbers, tastefully
-printed on hand-made paper, with attractive title-page._
-
-By ELBERT HUBBARD
-
-The publishers announce that Little Journeys will be issued monthly and
-that each number will treat of recent visits made by Mr. Elbert Hubbard
-to the homes and haunts of various eminent persons. The subjects for the
-first twelve numbers have been arranged as follows:
-
-     1. George Eliot
-     2. Thomas Carlyle
-     3. John Ruskin
-     4. W. E. Gladstone
-     5. J. M. W. Turner
-     6. Jonathan Swift
-     7. Victor Hugo
-     8. Wm. Wordsworth
-     9. W. M. Thackeray
-    10. Charles Dickens
-    11. Oliver Goldsmith
-    12. Shakespeare
-
-_LITTLE JOURNEYS: Published Monthly, 50 cents a year. Single copies, 5
-cents, postage paid._
-
-Published by G. P. PUTNAM’S SONS,
-
-                   27 and 29 West 23d Street, New York.
-                    24 Bedford Street, Strand, London.
-
-
-
-
-AT THIS TIME THE PROPRIETORS OF THE ROYCROFT PRINTING SHOP, at East
-Aurora, New York, announce the publication about Christmas time of an
-exquisite edition of the JOURNAL OF KOHELETH, otherwise the Book of
-Ecclesiastes, reparagraphed.
-
-With a bit of an introduction by Mr. Elbert Hubbard, whimsical, perhaps,
-but sincere, wherein the rich quality of the text is commended to those
-over thirty, and under: with explanations, always reverent, that may be
-useful.
-
-=This book, printed by hand on Dickinson’s hand made paper, will mark
-an era in the art of printing in America. The edition, limited to 750
-copies, will be bound in flexible Japan vellum, wrapped and boxed. Each
-book numbered, and signed by the editor.=
-
-Yes, do you send me a book for my birthday. Not a bargain book, bought
-from a haberdasher, but a beautiful book, a book to caress—peculiar,
-distinctive and individual: a book that hath first caught your eye and
-then pleased your fancy, written by an author with a tender whim—all
-right out of his heart. We will read it together in the gloaming, and
-when the gathering dusk doth blur the page we’ll sit with hearts too full
-for speech and think it over.—DOROTHY WORDSWORTH TO COLERIDGE.
-
-
-
-
-THE PHILISTINE.
-
-Edited by H. P. TABER.
-
-
-                       THE ROYCROFT PRINTING SHOP,
-                          East Aurora, New York,
-                               Publishers.
-
-THE PHILISTINE is published monthly at $1 a year, 10 cents a single
-copy. Subscriptions may be left with newsdealers or sent direct to the
-publishers. The trade supplied by the AMERICAN NEWS COMPANY and its
-branches. Foreign agencies, BRENTANO’S, 37 Avenue de l’Opera, Paris; G.
-P. PUTNAM’S SONS, 24 Bedford street, Strand, London.
-
-Business communications should be addressed to THE PHILISTINE, East
-Aurora, New York. Matter intended for publication may be sent to the same
-address or to Box 6, Cambridge, Massachusetts.
-
-_Entered at the Postoffice at East Aurora, New York, for transmission as
-mail matter of the second class._
-
-_COPYRIGHT, 1895, by H. P. Taber._
-
-       *       *       *       *       *
-
-=The Book Shop=, Rare Books, Garfield Building, Bond street, Cleveland,
-Ohio.
-
-       *       *       *       *       *
-
-=George P. Humphrey=, Old Books, Catalogues issued, 25 Exchange street,
-Rochester, N. Y.
-
-
-
-
-THE PHILISTINE.
-
-             NO. 5.          October, 1895.          VOL. 1.
-
-
-
-
-RHADAMANTHINA IVRA.
-
-    _Castigat auditque dolos subigitque fateri._
-
-
-It was the custom of the Roman _Prætor Urbanus_ when entering upon his
-duties to post up in plain view of the public a brief exposition of the
-principles which were to guide him in passing judgment during his year of
-office. It seems fit that the PHILISTINE should likewise issue its own
-EDICTVM PERPETVVM setting forth the scope and ultimate purpose of such
-literary criticisms as may appear from time to time in its pages.
-
-It is offenders only who are to be deemed worthy of Reviews in these
-columns and as the worst possible offence of which they can be guilty,
-since it includes all specific or lesser faults, is the bare fact of
-their existence in type, it will be our aim to hold up to the merited
-scorn of an outraged world the responsible progenitors of such unblessed
-offspring, the Publisher, and his partner in sin, the Author of the book.
-
-In thus reversing that order in criminality which has hitherto obtained
-in the assizes of criticism we are moved by the consideration among
-others: the writing of any book, good or bad, is a matter of concern
-to its author alone so long as it remains in manuscript. Its merits or
-demerits have alike no existence to the public; however shameless its
-morals, feeble its plot or intolerable its dullness these are all equally
-powerless for mischief so long as it has not been put into type and
-launched upon a much suffering, helpless world. Then its career of evil
-begins. For this the Publisher is solely responsible; he and he alone is
-able to remedy the abuses which have long been calling out to heaven for
-suppression, by setting up some sort of standard as to the minimum of
-those defects which shall bar any manuscript whatever from his favorable
-consideration. What this minimum ought to be we shall take pleasure in
-enlightening him from time to time in these pages.
-
-It may be urged that the weapon of scorn has been used and abused time
-out of mind; we reply that the objector is in error in one essential.
-The dart is an old one indeed, but its point has been blunted, not in
-the fattening tissues of this chief offender but on the scantily clad
-bones of his weaker accomplice, the much-abused author. In issuing an
-illegitimate book the Author is the victim of the sweetest and most
-pathetic fallacy known to men: _he believes his work is good_; while the
-publisher knows better. One is animated by love and nature, the other
-has only a lust for dollars. In such offenses as we are discussing, no
-less than in certain others needing no more explicit designation, it is
-not the deed itself but its exposure which calls forth the protests of a
-PHILISTINE public. Those Little Sisters in Sin, _A Superfluous Woman_ and
-_Bessie Costrell_ might have faded to oblivion in their swaddling clothes
-had no publisher been found to expose them to daylight.
-
-It will be understood therefore that our column of Reviews exists, not
-to aid struggling authors or enterprising publishers to launch their
-craft upon the already crowded ocean of Literature, but as the Pillory
-where manifest culprits are exposed to the jibes of the crowd, to the end
-that others who are meditating like deeds may be warned by such penalty
-to desist. Nor need the idle stocks ever yawn in emptiness so long as
-upon his right hand and his left a man beholds such a richness of backs
-itching for the lash.
-
-And since we have promised that instruction shall go hand in hand with
-castigation we will not close until we have pointed out for the future
-guidance of those who may wish to avoid one at least of the many by-paths
-of reprobation, that in any novel we regard the existence of page Four
-Hundred of readable type as confession on the part of both Publisher and
-Author that neither of them has yet learned the foremost and greatest of
-the arts of their trade—the art to blot.
-
-_De confessis sicuti de manifestis—supplicium sumendum est._
-
-
-A TRINITY OF OFFENDERS.
-
-    1. THE LAND OF THE SUN, _a third rate guide-book to Mexico, and
-    incidentally a Touter for one of its Railways_; by Christian
-    Reid, a woman who once wrote a good novel, superfluously
-    illustrated, 12mo. cloth, pp. 355. D. Appleton & Co., N. Y.,
-    $1.75.
-
-    2. LOVE IN IDLENESS, by F. Marion Crawford, author of ETC.,
-    _etc._, & etc., absurdly illustrated, crown 8vo., cloth,
-    gilt-edge, pp. 218. Macmillan & Co., N. Y., $2.00.
-
-    3. ADVICE TO LITERARY ASPIRANTS—_One Hundred Ways to Become
-    Famous for One Dollar_, by Mr. Arthur Lewis, illustrated,
-    12mo., pp. 247. Dodd, Rott & Co., N. Y., $1.00.
-
-1. We are but too familiar, all of us, with the devices of the
-quack-medicine advertiser, his trick of getting us to read his puff in
-spite of ourselves. It is an old yet still successful dodge. The first
-sentence in a column of the morning paper promises a little ten minute
-romance. As we proceed our interest quickens. We inadvertently glance
-to the end to learn whether the hero is destined to the rope or the
-heroine reserved for the altar. There stands forth the mark of the Beast,
-“_Butcher’s Bilious Bouncer_, sure cure for the Liver, price ten cents.”
-According as nature has allied us to Democritus or to Archilochus we
-laugh or swear at our gullibility while we turn to some other item, but
-if fair-minded men we do not swear at the editor, for we know that he
-lives by letting for hire his numberless columns with no restriction on
-his advertisers save that their matter does not exclude his paper from
-the United States Mail.
-
-It is far different, however, when trusting in an author’s name or at
-least in the imprint of a publisher of high standing, a man takes up a
-book which he has bought in the expectation of finding it a readable or
-at all events a genuine novel, but soon discovers it to be a string of
-sausages, whose thin membrane of such romance as it does afford exists
-merely to encase a solid stuffing of railroad advertisements, “scenic
-route” business and such secondhand truck. Yet of such is the _Land of
-the Sun_. Before reading it myself I tendered it to a friend in answer
-to his request for the latest novel. A few days after, he returned it
-saying, “It opens more like an advertisement of the Bullseye Parlor Car
-Company.”
-
-Now it so happens that the people who made the book are also publishers
-of guide-books and among these of a guide-book to Mexico, _eo nomine_,
-it had been fitter and more worthy their own high standing had they not
-stooped to palm off such a farrago upon a man whose thoughts at the time
-were not how to get to Mexico nor what could be seen if he went there,
-but simply the means of beguiling an evening, lolling at ease in his
-smoking jacket.
-
-As to the lady who was once equal to writing _The Land of the Sky_, one
-feels sorrow at her fall, and cannot help wondering if sin of this sort
-yields her either profit or pleasure.
-
-2. If a reader were asked to single out some one publisher whose name
-should be guarantee that in buying a book one would get fair equivalent
-for his money, not in paper and ink alone, but in the stuff of its ideas,
-he would not often go amiss were he to name Macmillans. It is with double
-pain therefore that he resents being led astray into paying Two Dollars
-for such a trifling effusion as _Love in Idleness_. He is hurt not only
-by the one and one-half dollars lost in excess of any just valuation of
-the book, but also and perhaps by a less reparable loss of the confidence
-long deserved by the class of Macmillan publications. In short he feels
-that both publisher and writer have conspired to cinch him and the rest
-of the reading public, and here, too, the heavier share of the reproach
-must fall upon the man. If Mr. Marion Crawford, pluming himself upon
-such past achievements as _Mr. Isaacs_, chooses to value the weakling of
-his decadence at such extravagant figures that it must be listed at Two
-Dollars if it is to appear in decent type, there is surely no need that
-his accomplice be Macmillan. Doubtless there be publishers whose horns
-would be exalted were Crawford’s name to shine upon their title pages,
-but Macmillan is not of such cattle; he stands among the very topmost
-already, wherefore he should be above impostures.
-
-The book is freely illustrated, but the pictures have nothing to do with
-the persons and incidents of the story.
-
-3. As the editor of the Only Real Sure-Enough _Chip-Munk_ so truthfully
-points out in his every issue, man is an imitative animal. But whether
-it is equally true that there are hundreds and hundreds of imitation
-chip-munks, all made like those calico cats that do duty as bric-a-brac,
-I cannot say. Yet the undisputed statement, made in such a solemn way,
-that man is imitative, must stand.
-
-On ascending a certain beautiful little bay along the coast of Maine, the
-traveller is confronted by the startling legend, painted on the face of
-a great palisade: _This is Belfast, the Home of Gringo’s Vermifuge—One
-Hundred Doses for One Dollar_.
-
-And to-day at Franklin, Ohio, as the train stops at the water tank one
-sees in the pasture opposite, an immense bill board, and on the board in
-gigantic letters are the words: _This is Franklin, the Home of Jingo’s
-Advice to Authors—One Hundred Places to sell Manuscript, One Dollar_.
-
-That a place is needed to sell manuscript I will admit—in fact I am
-looking for such a place, but I only require _one_ place, not a hundred.
-So I am suspicious of Mr. Jingo: I think that he offers just ninety-nine
-times more than is meet, and so I turn to Mr. Arthur Lewis of Albany,
-who has in the press a book with a title suspiciously like the Ohio
-publication. It is called _Advice to Literary Aspirants—One Hundred Ways
-to Become Famous for One Dollar_. Advance sheets of this work show that
-the author has expended considerable care on it. He marshals statistics
-to show that only one out of 97,621 of the men who write books ever
-secure even a tuppence worth of fame. In fact he proves that fame and
-good writing have no more to do with each other than Art and Truth,
-Virtue and Profession, Marriage and Constancy. He therefore concludes
-that the Literary Aspirant should secure his Fame first and launch his
-Literature afterward, and in this way take the tide at its flood and move
-on to fortune. To this end the gifted author gives one hundred ways of
-securing fame. He starts with Homicide and runs through to Arson and
-Bridge Jumping, giving incidentally fourteen different kinds of Scandal
-and how to bring it about.
-
-In my own mind I have always made a distinction between illustrious men,
-famous men and notorious men, but Mr. Lewis avers that in our day and
-generation such fine shades are all obliterated by the bright iridescence
-of the standard dollar. An author, he says, succeeds only as his books
-sell, and if his name is on the lips of rumor, women especially will
-besiege the stores and demand his tomes.
-
-Now we must admit that the fine sophistry that Mr. Lewis brings to bear
-is interesting, but is it Art? Further than this, does it fill a vacuum
-in the great economic cosmos of Letters? I do not think that it does,
-and therefore do not hesitate to flatly give it as my opinion that while
-the author is sincere, the publishers are moved by no other motive than
-to secure the money of ambitious young men and women, having first
-victimized Mr. Lewis for the cost of plates and the first edition. That
-the work, like all skillful sophistry, is inspiring to the young, there
-is no doubt, but the final effect of the book on society I believe will
-be damaging, and therefore I cannot conscientiously recommend it.
-
-
-
-
-A JOURNALISTIC NOTE.
-
-
-Our valued co-worker in the vineyard, the Rev. George H. Hepworth, has
-begun to cast his Sunday _Herald_ sermons in the first person singular
-and affix his distinguished name thereto. If this will make these sermons
-no better it will at least make them no worse.
-
-As long-time admirers of these admirable Sabbath sermocinations THE
-PHILISTINE welcomes this innovation. And we think we know the wherefore
-of it. The Rev. Mr. Hepworth’s name attached to an article denunciatory
-of sin will have a tendency to strike terror into the heart of Beelzebub,
-and it was for this reason, no doubt, that Mr. Bennett directed Brother
-Hepworth to take the field in person.
-
-Unquestionably this will add a new and livelier interest to the church.
-Each combatant knows exactly whom he is fighting. It is now Hepworth
-against Satan with a fair field and no favor. We have no hesitancy
-in saying that so far as Mr. Hepworth is concerned there will be no
-_Valkyrie_ business. Moreover there is no desire to shirk responsibility.
-What he has to say he will say fearlessly over his own signature, and if
-those against whom these ecclesiastical thunderbolts are launched do not
-like them they know what they can do. Wot t’ell!
-
-                                                       ROBERT W. CRISWELL.
-
-
-
-
-“_De mortuis nil nisi bonum._”
-
-
-    “Speak no evil of the dead:”
-      Standard story that of Cain;
-    Sence his vitle spark has fled,
-      Dast a soul of him complain?
-    Did his brother mortle harm,
-      Lied about the thing, to God;
-    His’n the fust abandoned farm;
-      Skipped to Canady or Nod.
-    Like some latter-day ex-gent,
-    Sorry—for his punishment.
-
-    Judas did a traitor’s deed,
-      ’Scuse, I beg, the mention here,
-    Bein’ his life has gone to seed
-      (Scattered far and wide, I fear),
-    Of him may no ill be sayed,
-      Though this miscreant for gain
-    The one perfec’ Man betrayed
-      To be crucified and slain:
-    Went and killed hisself withal—
-    After readin’ Ingersoll.
-
-    Stay! That max’m mayn’t be true;
-      In old heathen Rome ’twas bred;
-    Livin’ men should have in view
-      What’s the status of ’em dead.
-    Conduc’ stands—time don’t forswear’t—
-      Even to a lord’s disgrace,
-    When with Cain and Judas Scairt
-      He has went ter his own place.
-    Cains and Judases, don’t guess
-    Death will make you a success.
-
-                           L. S. GOODWIN.
-
-
-
-
-SIDE TALKS WITH THE PHILISTINES: BEING SUNDRY BITS OF WISDOM WHICH HAVE
-BEEN HERETOFORE SECRETED, AND ARE NOW SET FORTH IN PRINT.
-
-
-If THE PHILISTINE disturbs placid self-complacency anywhere, as one or
-two of its critics intimate, it is sorry, for there is no such happiness
-attainable anywhere this side of Nirvana as its serene contemplation of
-the charms of self which Narcissus and some more modern fakirs exemplify;
-and the magazine of to-day is its gospel. But so good a Philistine as
-Horace Greeley is my authority for believing that the still pool in which
-self-love sees the reflection it feeds upon is a breeder of death, not
-life, and effervescence is the sworn foe of the morbid. Not the things
-we do that we ought not to do, but the things left undone that we ought
-to do are the primary count leading up to the confession that “there
-is no health in us.” The other follows. Stagnation and the miasma of
-self-consciousness co-exist and are not to be separated. Wherefore,
-fellow-egoists, let us get a gait on.
-
-       *       *       *       *       *
-
-I like the broad flourish with which some imaginative writers connect
-widely separated events in a stroke of the pen and omit all that lies
-between as mere incident. It seems to me a proof of the theory put
-forward by my good friend Elbert Hubbard that genius is a feminine
-element of character—in man or woman. For example, I find this statement
-in the latest of the _Little Journeys_: “Moses was sent adrift, but the
-tide carried him into power.” I didn’t know just what that meant till I
-recalled the discovery of the bulrush cradle. A less intuitive writer
-wouldn’t have bridged eighty years in that summary way. He might have
-hinted at Moses’s police court record—told how he killed an Egyptian for
-calling him a son of a Populist or something and skun out for half a
-lifetime and yet became a Prince of Egypt and spent forty years or so at
-court before he took the road with the forefathers of Brickmaker Tourgee.
-But to connect the condensed milk baby in the market basket on the Nile
-with the law-giver of Israel in one movement, as the music people say,
-is a pretty long span and suggests the liberty David Copperfield takes
-with his own biography in the best book but one written by the subject
-of the latest _Little Journey_. “I was born:” he says—and all else is
-irrelevant. I take it that Mr. Hubbard agrees with John Boyle O’Reilly
-that “the world was made when a man was born.” The feminine element
-of genius which Mr. Hubbard tells us makes poets is manifest in that
-formula. If the author of the _Journeys_ will permit, I would suggest
-that the same mother instinct that crops out there is manifested in
-the grasp of a life in the compass of a sentence which puzzled me at
-the first. To be born and to die is the record of existence, to which
-all else is tributary; and the pangs of birth and death thrill all the
-poet-strains. Only the tragedy that sweeps along the strings lives to
-echo in human hearts. It is the deathless minor chord that distinguishes
-the melody of true poetry from the dancing cadences of rhyme in all
-literature. The undertone is the soul of all song, in verse or in the
-unmeasured periods of epic prose.
-
-       *       *       *       *       *
-
-Mention of Moses recalls the perhaps unique fact that a priest of the
-most austere of churches rolled off a tongue, musical with brogue, in
-his newspaper sanctum—for he is a priest of the pen too—this romantic
-version of the basket story which I have never seen anywhere but in his
-paper—then in the process of make-up:
-
-    On Egypt’s banks, convaynient to the Nile,
-    Great Pharaoh’s daughter went to bathe in shtyle,
-    And shtooping down, as everyone supposes
-    To scratch her shin, she shpied the infant Moses:
-    Then turning to her maids, in accents wild
-    Cried: “Tare an’ ’ouns, girls, which o’ yes owns the chyild?”
-
-       *       *       *       *       *
-
-I observe that the editor of the _Arena_ is about to make a contract with
-the Michigan Wheel Company of Lansing, Michigan, for large quantities
-of its product to give as prizes to new contributors only, the old ones
-being already well supplied.
-
-       *       *       *       *       *
-
-The following advertisement is clipped from one of the October magazines:
-
-                          MANUSCRIPT RECORD.
-
-    A handsome method for keeping track of manuscripts. Contains
-    space for recording one hundred manuscripts, showing title,
-    where sent, number of words, when returned or accepted, when
-    paid for and amount, when published, postage account, etc. Each
-    page a complete history of one manuscript, from the time it is
-    first sent out, until published and paid for. Price, $1.25.
-    Sent postpaid to any address on receipt of price.
-
-                      THE BOHEMIAN PUBLISHING CO.,
-                     Pike Building, Cincinnati, O.
-
-I have sent for this book, as it is my intention to write one hundred
-manuscripts, and I desire to keep track of them until published and paid
-for. I have therefore ordered the book bound in cast iron.
-
-       *       *       *       *       *
-
-In a recent number of _Modern Art_ protest is filed against the editor of
-the _Chip-Munk_ continuing to ask that startling question “Do You Keep
-a Dog?” In God’s name, what right have the Chicago Decadents to thus
-pry into our private affairs? Is it not bad enough when the _Chip-Munk_
-advises us to drink Guzzle’s beer and use Culby’s soap without being
-interrogated as to what we “keep?”
-
-       *       *       *       *       *
-
-Among the revivals which occur now and then in everything is a discussion
-of an old “science” of reading characters by the hair. I don’t know much
-about it, but from what I have heard I believe a pair of old she-bears
-set back the theory for a few centuries when they chewed up the small
-boys that poked fun at Elijah. The old man would be rated as having
-no character, according to these “readers,” for he had no hair, but
-Providence and the early Ursulines vindicated him.
-
-       *       *       *       *       *
-
-A new woman who has been reading _God’s Fool_ laid it down at the last
-chapter with a long sigh. “What do you think of it,” I asked. “It is
-dramatic,” she said, “terribly dramatic at the end,” and then added,
-after a pause, “I wonder what the reading of the next generation will
-be like. We have reached a force and directness of narration that seems
-to me to be pretty near the limit of possibility. What will we have
-next?” “What do you think?” I asked. “I think,” she said, “we will have
-a reaction. We will take in more and give out less. We are near one of
-the great periods of what has been called revelation in the past. Our
-literature is shallow but perfect, relatively, in expression. Our art is
-the same throughout. Our politics are personal. Our religion is liberal,
-and loose in the joints. Our social life is insincere and imitative.
-Our lives have nothing in them to stir the deeps. There will be a
-reaction. The finesse of expression will be set aside for the tremendous
-earnestness that accompanies great events and prints their lessons on
-receptive minds. A break-up in Europe it may be, or some other social
-convulsion, that will change the tide. We are pretty near at the top of
-the flood now.” That’s the new woman’s view. I wonder how near she’s
-right?
-
-       *       *       *       *       *
-
-Three hundred and twenty-seven thousand of my friends have individually
-sent to me a recent number of my Philadelphia contemporary, _Footlights_,
-in which it refers to THE PHILISTINE variously as a crow, a dicky bird
-and “a birdie of the jackass breed.” I am glad to be catalogued in this
-ornithological manner, and my friends may accept the listing as they
-please. As for myself, I’d rather be a good honest wild ass of the desert
-with long fuzzy ears than a poor imitation bird-of-paradise—stuffed by
-one hundred and seventeen geniuses.
-
-       *       *       *       *       *
-
-A matter of architecture has been involved in the social problem which
-the _Arena_ has ever with it—like a stutter or a beer breath. According
-to an alleged novel recently published by the Arena Company and called
-_Edith, a Story of Chinatown_, a feature of the tabooed district of Los
-Angeles, California, is a bay window projection on the houses devoted
-to vice, wherein beauty spreads lures for the eyes of passers-by. The
-heroine of this lovely romance is one of these persons, sinned against in
-the prologue and sinning in the present, but discovered by a miraculous
-New York reporter on a vacation and returned to her broken-hearted
-parents and a good life. A benediction, with a remote hint of the
-Lohengrin march, ends the story. The _Arena_ gives two pages to a review
-of the book, which is very kind of the publisher, and tells us therein
-that a description of Alameda street and of Dupont street, San Francisco,
-which is worse, is its purpose. The _Arena_ can be depended on for a full
-stock of “terrible examples.”
-
-       *       *       *       *       *
-
-The _Literary Digest_ is falling into line admirably. Recently it printed
-a translation from some French source from which I clip the following:
-
-    A Parisian literary man has been complaining that authors are
-    not represented at international expositions in the same sense
-    as are painters and sculptors. The complaint has provoked
-    sarcastic comment from M. Maurice Goncourt, who, in _Charivari_
-    (Paris), suggests that, since an exhibition of their works
-    would not be sufficiently striking, the authors themselves
-    should be put on show in cages!
-
-    “All the writers who are at present the incontestable masters
-    of romance and journalism will transport, during the period
-    of the Exposition, their working rooms to a section specially
-    provided for them.
-
-    “The public will see them there as they really are at home,
-    surrounded with their furniture, their books, all their
-    accessories, and in working costume.
-
-    “From such an hour to such an hour—as at home—they will work on
-    their articles, poems, or novels.
-
-    “That would draw a crowd; that would be truly interesting!
-
-    “They could be looked at through a sheet of glass or a
-    lattice—silently, so as not to interfere with their inspiration.
-
-    “The administration could even put up signs like this:
-
-                   PLEASE THROW NOTHING TO THE POETS,
-
-    or—more particularly for the pretty visitors:
-
-                    DON’T EXCITE THE PSYCHOLOGISTS.
-
-All this sounds much as though it had been written by the keeper of _The
-Literary Shop_, but I don’t believe it was. Supposing, however, such an
-exhibit were held at Atlanta with the Fair now in progress. Imagine Mr.
-Gilder and James Knapp Reeve, Mr. Le Gallienne and Laura Jean Libbey,
-Count Tolstoi and Mrs. Mary Jane Holmes, each in his or her own coop
-like a Leghorn chicken! Imagine Colonel S. S. McClure (Limited) with his
-Menagerie of Trained Thoroughbreds, each one of them exhibiting by his
-emaciation the horrible results of syndicate writing! Imagine Cy Warman
-pawing madly at the bars of his cage trying to tell Sweet Marie about
-the secret in his heart! Then imagine Little Tin God of Philadelphia,
-cuddled up in his basket, writing his masterpiece, _How to Feed a Sick
-Kitten!_ To them then would enter Major John Boyd Thacher, the pride and
-joy of the Albany Democracy, and judge equally both the just and the
-unjust. It’s a great idea.
-
-       *       *       *       *       *
-
-One of my correspondents tells me that “the editor of the _Lark_ uses
-execrable perfume on his note paper.” This item is for the future
-reference of Mr. Burgess when he writes about his literary passions.
-
-       *       *       *       *       *
-
-Several solemn newspapers have taken seriously to the extent of half a
-column or so the proposal of a San Francisco publishing house to “bring
-out good literature in a cheap form,” which sounds much like the advance
-agent talk of most publishing houses. It isn’t a joke, to be sure, but a
-good deal depends on what is meant by “good literature.” Thundering in
-the prologue is not a novelty, but there may be a storm coming for all
-that.
-
-       *       *       *       *       *
-
-I note that the brilliant Bok has gone to writing proverbs. Here is one
-culled at random from “A Handful of Laconics,” printed under his honored
-signature in his September output:
-
-    It is singular and yet a fact that what we are most loath
-    to believe possessed by others is what we are incapable of
-    ourselves.
-
-It is my wish to call the particular attention of my readers to
-this nugget. From a literary and philosophic standpoint literature
-contains nothing like it. Examine Rochefoucauld, Montaigne,
-Plutarch, Pliny the Elder, Pliny the Younger or Solomon, and you
-will not find its fellow. Read it again, and read it slowly:
-“It-is-singular-yet-a-fact-that-what-we-are-most-loath-to-believe-
-possessed-by-others-is-what-we-are-incapable-of-ourselves.”
-This is undoubtedly the finest thing in the language and a reward of
-one million dollars will be paid to any PHILISTINE who will furnish the
-solution. There is no bar against reading it backwards. It reads a little
-better backwards than forwards, but I do not think that is it.
-
-       *       *       *       *       *
-
-I desire to record a discovery. I found a magazine the other day with the
-advertising pages uncut.
-
-       *       *       *       *       *
-
-I doubt if Bliss Carman has had a more enthusiastic admirer than I. When
-his _Vagabondia_ appeared I sent a copy to Her, which was the greatest
-compliment I could pay the book. In the magazines, notably in _Town
-Topics_, he has printed verses that were well worth preserving as some
-of the best of the decade. In the great mass, however, which he has
-published, there have been lines which nobody on earth could understand.
-They were worse than Stephen Crane’s, for he at least has a vague idea
-somewhere, though he rarely does us the favor to express it in a seemly
-manner. Now I want to protest, not only against Mr. Carman, but against
-_Life_, which gave us _The Whale and the Sprat_ which Mr. Carman wrote
-recently. Here are two of the stanzas:
-
-    My dear Mr. Sprat,
-    I really am grat-
-      Ified at your offer.
-    So down they both sat.
-
-    Said the Sprat to the Whale,
-    I admire your tail;
-      I should think it would be
-    Of great use in a gale.
-
-How Mr. Metcalfe ever allowed such drivel to get into his columns I
-cannot understand. Possibly while he was in Japan the compositor set the
-stuff in the waste basket instead of that on the copy hook.
-
-       *       *       *       *       *
-
-_Vogue_ asserts that “thou shalt not covet thy neighbor’s wife” is the
-ninth commandment. On information and belief, no doubt.
-
-       *       *       *       *       *
-
-Because Mr. Rockefeller sneers at Mr. Pullman for giving but a paltry
-hundred thousand for a church at Albion, Orleans County, New York, Mr.
-Pullman retorts that Rockefeller is only a malmsey-nosed varlet anyway,
-whose grease his axles are not worthy to unloose. I am not quite ready to
-take George M. into the Philistinic fold, but he is surely coming my way.
-
-       *       *       *       *       *
-
-I rejoice to find a thoughtful article by Richard Burton on the
-“Renascence of Old English Expression” in the current _Forum_—and not
-so much for what is in the article in detail as for its recognition of
-the main fact that there is something besides Bunthornism in the harking
-back to the simple dignity of early English. Our author, it will be
-noted, has little use for the overflowing maimed vowels of Normanesque
-“Renaissance.” Plain Latin renascence is good enough in a plea for the
-Saxon. But it is odd if so simple a thing as a rising from death into new
-life has no Saxon equivalent. Why not “re birth!”
-
-       *       *       *       *       *
-
-Since the Mule-Spinners at Cohoes and Fall River went out on a strike I
-understand that subscriptions to _The Writer_ have fallen off one-third.
-
-       *       *       *       *       *
-
-Neith Boyce is a poet who never beats the brush piles of thought without
-starting good game. She writes good honest verse and she also writes
-“Book Notes and News” and other things for the _New Cycle_. The _New
-Cycle_, by the way, is not published by the Pope Manufacturing Company as
-one might suppose, but it is a monthly magazine “devoted to Education,
-Social Economics, Literature and Art.” I once edited a magazine devoted
-to Education, but the subject proved too large for the brainful syndicate
-that employed me; I have also written a book on Art; and once, having
-nothing to do, I lectured for a space on Social Economics, but God help
-me! I never in a small monthly magazine attempted to tell all about
-Education, Social Economics, Literature _and_ Art.
-
-But the _New Cycle_ is interesting, and if its various departments were
-as well cared for as its Book Notes and News it would be a greater
-success than it is. Neith Boyce has an unfailing insight and her touch is
-as light and as sure as my own; and moreover there is a tang to her wit
-that all bookish Philistines might well cultivate. In classic lore I have
-always looked up to Miss Boyce as the Court of last Appeal, but is it not
-possible that Minerva sometimes nods? Read this:
-
-    “An attraction of the eminently respectable _Harper’s Weekly_
-    will be a series of papers called ‘A Houseboat on the Styx’
-    by Mr. Bangs of Yonkers. Nothing is sacred to this funny man.
-    Not content with taking his fling at the defunct majesty of
-    Napoleon he now proposes to take Pluto by the beard and make
-    copy of the pale shadows that throng the Stygian shores.”
-
-It may be so, but I did not know that Pluto had whiskers. And how does
-Miss Boyce dispose of the legend concerning the smooth face and giddy
-ways of old Mr. Pluto when he took to wife the young and blooming
-Persephone? Charon wears a Vandyke as we well know; while Mephisto is
-usually represented as clean-shaved or at best a moustache and goatee;
-but hereafter I’ll never think of Pluto without calling up in mind Mr.
-Peffer of Kansas. Go to, Fair Lady! think you because barber shops are
-closed in York State on Sundays that they are shut in Hades all the week?
-Next!
-
-       *       *       *       *       *
-
-A lecturer on Egypt, telling the natives of Buffalo, N. Y., about the
-marvels in stone built on that strip of mud, illustrated the proportions
-of the Nile Valley by saying “It it eleven hundred miles long in Egypt
-proper and seven miles wide for most of its length. If the city of
-Buffalo were laid crosswise in the valley, it would bisect the kingdom.”
-And a Rochester man who had strayed into the fold was mean enough to
-add: “And if Buffalo was there, that’s the way it would lie—cross-ways.”
-That’s the way they talk in Rochester.
-
-       *       *       *       *       *
-
-I quote this paragraph from _Alice_ and respectfully refer it to the
-editor of _Mlle New York_ with the hope that he can see the point as
-plainly as he sees most things:
-
-    All this time the Guard was looking at her, first through a
-    telescope, then through a microscope, and then through an opera
-    glass. At last he said, “You’re travelling the wrong way,” and
-    shut up the window and went away.
-
-       *       *       *       *       *
-
-On his way to Montreal Mr. Hall Caine stopped off one day at East Aurora.
-The Pink Tea given in his honor at the office of THE PHILISTINE was
-largely attended by the farmers from both up the creek and down the
-creek. In fact, as my old friend Billy McGlory used to say, “Ye cudden’t
-see de street fer dust.”
-
-       *       *       *       *       *
-
-The Boston _Commonwealth_ (what satire there is in that name!) is a nice
-paper, but its editor has not smiled for forty years; and all of his
-little writers carry so much culture that they are round-shouldered,
-flat-chested, bow-legged and near-sighted. They belong to the large class
-that invariably miss the point of things and use dignity for a mask to
-hide their lack of a sense of fun. The _Commonwealth_ accuses us of
-being envious of the _Chip-Munk_; of being violently prejudiced against
-Mr. Cudahy’s book, and of speaking irreverently of Boston. Go to thou
-old granny _Commonwealth_, why sit you like your grandsire carved in
-alabaster and creep into the jaundice by being peevish?
-
-       *       *       *       *       *
-
-The _Book-Peddler_ is doing great service in promotion of what passes
-for literature in the paper and ink stores. I cannot but think what a
-similar publication devoted to literature, not trade, could do to save
-the valuable time of the reading public. Since Solomon’s time a good
-many things have changed, but in one there is no improvement. “Of the
-making of many books there is no end,” and that is a heap sadder than the
-lamentation of Maud Muller and His Honor.
-
-       *       *       *       *       *
-
-Concerning Mr. Grant Allen’s book and the manner in which its title has
-been made the basis of several others more or less reminiscent, my most
-valued correspondent writes me that the novelists are missing much by
-not calling a story _The Woman Who Is Simply Dying To_. In my well known
-philanthropic way I throw out this suggestion hoping that somebody may
-make many dollars by the adoption of the title for a decadent tale.
-
-       *       *       *       *       *
-
-The Vanastorbilts are really under great obligations to Mrs. Rorer’s
-_Household News_ for the simple daily menus for poor folks which are a
-feature. There’s nothing so cheap as good living—in a magazine. When
-bread sticks and banana chutney and peaches and rice and cantaloupe
-can be mowed away by a poor man before the seven o’clock whistle
-blows no hard worker ought to lack muscle for his daily toil. We have
-printed assurance of Mrs. Bellow that “These menus have been arranged
-on a scientific plan, are thoroughly hygienic, and contain all that
-is necessary for proper living.” It is luck after all that man does
-not live by bread alone, but by every word that proceedeth out of the
-hygienic mouth aforesaid.
-
-       *       *       *       *       *
-
-Messrs. Lo & Behold, publishers of works on moral pathology, Boston,
-are making great efforts to club the _Arena_. I understand they propose
-offering season tickets to museums of morbid anatomy as prizes.
-
-       *       *       *       *       *
-
-I note a somewhat guarded statement by Dr. Swan M. Burnett denying
-that he and his wife have separated or are undergoing that mutually
-humiliating process. All there is of it, he says, is that her work keeps
-her abroad and his keeps him in Washington. The doctor’s friends say,
-however, that the doctor and the writist live apart and have done so for
-years and that he is tired of being referred to as Mrs. Frances Hodgson
-Burnett’s husband. I think more likely he objects to being identified at
-the banks and elsewhere as the father of Little Lord Fauntleroy.
-
-       *       *       *       *       *
-
-The _Pell Mell Gazette_ of last Saturday contains a cablegram from Mr.
-Hall Caine, dated at East Aurora, N. Y., wherein the author of _The
-Manxman_ reports that the prospect for next year’s crop of ginger is very
-promising.
-
-       *       *       *       *       *
-
-I suppose it’s all right for the publisher of _Munsey’s_ to tell how he
-made that magazine jump from 20,000 to half a million copies a month
-by shutting out middlemen and reaching the hungering and thirsting
-public direct. That’s his cue. If the publisher didn’t blow his horn
-who would? I opine, however, that the fish would sell without it, and
-that the editor of _Munsey’s_ could tell them something a good deal more
-interesting in the same space. What does the great public, with its
-multitude of aims and desires, care how such an effect was accomplished?
-All that could safely remain within the veil. It would be more to the
-point if the editor or publisher of Mr. Bok’s collection of wax works
-would tell by what miracle he got a circulation. It is easy in the other
-case, regardless of the smart publisher. The time passed long ago when a
-horse being led to water could be forced to drink. The public must have
-wanted _Munsey’s_ when it was shut out by the middleman or they wouldn’t
-have compelled the dealers to send for it, and that implies that there’s
-something in it besides self-consciousness and the publisher’s tactical
-brilliancy. But how on earth came the embodied ego and its sisters and
-cousins and aunts to get a hearing anywhere? Is Ruth Ashmore, _alias_
-Bab, at the bottom of it?
-
-       *       *       *       *       *
-
-A certain gentleman of my acquaintance, having heard until he is sick of
-it that it takes nine Taylors to make a man, continues to boldly assert
-that it takes two Chatfields to make a Taylor.
-
-       *       *       *       *       *
-
-When the PHILISTINE was started six months ago I had no idea that it
-would now have half a million subscribers.
-
-       *       *       *       *       *
-
-I am reminded by a Boston newspaper of the continued existence of a
-belief that criticism of books and other things more or less remotely
-connected with literature is largely a matter of prejudice and that the
-imprints on title pages determine the authors’ fate. Yet the same article
-goes on to quote the _Chip-Munk_ firm as proof that merit will win
-sometimes in spite of such drawbacks. It seems to me the instance proves
-too much.
-
-       *       *       *       *       *
-
-And here, just at the last, I want to set down what I have just read
-in a delightful book written by Katherine Cheever Meredith—Johanna
-Staats—because it seems to fit one’s mood at this time of year. This is
-it:
-
-    “Oh, I play with Miss Gray Blanket and I play with Fanny.”
-
-    “Fanny? The little girl?”
-
-    “Yes. After it’s dark, you know, I play with her. Then I talk
-    to her. She never answers. But I play she’s so tired she can’t.
-    Of course I can’t play _that_ when it’s light. For then I could
-    _see_ that she wasn’t there. But in the dark she _might_ be.”
-
-    “Exactly,” responded Poole abstractedly. He was thinking that
-    many men and women indulge in the same game. Sometimes with
-    their faith in each other; but more often, though, with their
-    creeds.
-
-
-
-
-FANFARRONADE.
-
-
-    Let no man deem himself of Fate the King,
-      Or challenge Fortune with a voice defiant—
-    A tiny pebble in a shepherd’s sling
-      Once overthrew a proud and boastful giant.
-
-                                  CLARENCE URMY.
-
-
-
-
-NOTHING BUT LEAVES.
-
-
-It was one of those November days when the wind swoops down the mountain
-sides, bringing an avalanche of leaves—disked oak leaves—and then leaving
-them for a moment in the valley basin, gathers them in her mighty hands
-and tosses them again almost to the mountain tops.
-
-Chris found a sympathy in the dizzy, whirling, swirling leaves. His hopes
-had withered so, and now a girl’s changeful hand had been as reckless
-with him as was the wind with these: like wrath in death and envy
-afterwards.
-
-Poor Chris’s spiritual kingdom was suffering the nature of an
-insurrection, for though he loved her he was too proud to tell her she
-had misjudged him. The dissipation of his hopes now was tinged with
-regret, just as the wanton winds seem to us ruthless as we remember when
-these leaves were planes and green, not disked and brown.
-
-Mockingly came the dance of leaves around his feet—each like a thing
-alive—to beckon him here, there, to elude him, to laugh at him.
-
-“It’s too hard to bear!” groaned Chris, between his teeth. “How could she
-believe it! How could she!”
-
-A flurry of hurrying, scurrying leaves swept past him, a company of
-mocking, dancing leaves; from right and left they came, and scarce ten
-steps before him they met and swirled up—up into a monstrous wraith with
-beckoning hands. Chris’s conflict took form. “I’ll do it! I’ll do it!
-I’ll show her! She’ll regret this day!” and he threw back his head and
-with flashing eyes started forward with resolute steps.
-
-A lost leaf wavered, dipped, paused, then with a timid wafture touched
-his crisp curls.
-
-His blood surged up, for it was like the caress of a loving hand.
-
-“Oh no,” said Chris, “I may be wrong—I’ll tell her so;” and holding the
-lost leaf very gently between his two hands he walked swiftly back.
-
-                                                             HONOR EASTON.
-
-
-
-
-[Illustration: A FLOWER FROM THE CENTURY PLANT.
-
-BY CHARLES DINNEH GIVES’EM.
-
-The Princess Stony-eye kept on saying nothing.]
-
-*** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE PHILISTINE: A PERIODICAL OF
-PROTEST (VOL. I, NO. 5, OCTOBER 1895) ***
-
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-<p style='text-align:center; font-size:1.2em; font-weight:bold'>The Project Gutenberg eBook of The Philistine: a periodical of protest (Vol. I, No. 5, October 1895), by Various</p>
-<div style='display:block; margin:1em 0'>
-This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere in the United States and
-most other parts of the world at no cost and with almost no restrictions
-whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms
-of the Project Gutenberg License included with this eBook or online
-at <a href="https://www.gutenberg.org">www.gutenberg.org</a>. If you
-are not located in the United States, you will have to check the laws of the
-country where you are located before using this eBook.
-</div>
-
-<p style='display:block; margin-top:1em; margin-bottom:1em; margin-left:2em; text-indent:-2em'>Title: The Philistine: a periodical of protest (Vol. I, No. 5, October 1895)</p>
-<p style='display:block; margin-top:1em; margin-bottom:0; margin-left:2em; text-indent:-2em'>Author: Various</p>
-<p style='display:block; text-indent:0; margin:1em 0'>Release Date: June 25, 2022 [eBook #68405]</p>
-<p style='display:block; text-indent:0; margin:1em 0'>Language: English</p>
-  <p style='display:block; margin-top:1em; margin-bottom:0; margin-left:2em; text-indent:-2em; text-align:left'>Produced by: hekula03 and the Online Distributed Proofreading Team at https://www.pgdp.net (This book was produced from images made available by the HathiTrust Digital Library.)</p>
-<div style='margin-top:2em; margin-bottom:4em'>*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE PHILISTINE: A PERIODICAL OF PROTEST (VOL. I, NO. 5, OCTOBER 1895) ***</div>
-
-<div class="max30">
-
-<p class="center larger"><span class="larger">The Philistine</span><br />
-A Periodical of Protest.</p>
-
-<div class="subhead">
-
-<p><i>Would to God my name were not so terrible
-to the enemy as it is.</i>—<span class="smcap">Henry VIII.</span></p>
-
-</div>
-
-<div class="figleft">
-<img src="images/cover-issue5.jpg" width="160" height="200" alt="No. Five." />
-</div>
-
-<p class="noindent">Printed Every Little While
-for The Society of The Philistines
-and Published by
-Them Monthly. Subscription,
-One Dollar Yearly
-<img class="inline" src="images/cover-deco1.jpg" alt="" />
-<img class="inline" src="images/cover-deco1.jpg" alt="" />
-<img class="inline" src="images/cover-deco1.jpg" alt="" /></p>
-
-<p class="noindent">Single Copies, 10 Cents. October, 1895.
-<img class="inline" src="images/cover-deco2.jpg" alt="" />
-<img class="inline" src="images/cover-deco2.jpg" alt="" />
-<img class="inline" src="images/cover-deco2.jpg" alt="" />
-<img class="inline" src="images/cover-deco2.jpg" alt="" />
-<img class="inline" src="images/cover-deco2.jpg" alt="" />
-<img class="inline" src="images/cover-deco2.jpg" alt="" /></p>
-
-</div>
-
-<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop" />
-
-<div class="boxdots">
-
-<p class="larger noindent"><span class="u">SPECIAL.</span></p>
-
-<div>
-<img class="dropcap" src="images/dropcap-t.jpg" width="50" height="60" alt="" />
-</div>
-
-<p class="dropcap">The Bibelot for 1895, complete
-in the original wrappers,
-uncut, is now supplied on full paid
-subscriptions only, at 75 cents net.</p>
-
-<div>
-<img class="dropcap" src="images/dropcap-o.jpg" width="50" height="60" alt="" />
-</div>
-
-<p class="dropcap">On completion of Volume I in
-December the price will be $1.00
-net in wrappers, and $1.50 net in
-covers. <span class="smcap">Invariably Postpaid.</span></p>
-
-<div>
-<img class="dropcap" src="images/dropcap-c.jpg" width="50" height="60" alt="" />
-</div>
-
-<p class="dropcap">Covers for Volume I ready in
-November. These will be in
-old style boards, in keeping with the
-artistic make-up of <span class="smcap">The Bibelot</span>,
-and are supplied at 30 cents, postpaid.
-<i>End papers and Title-page
-are included</i>, whereby the local
-binder can case up the volume at
-about the cost of postage were it, as
-is usual, returned to the publisher for
-binding.</p>
-
-</div>
-
-<div class="max30">
-
-<p><span class="larger">Back Numbers</span> are 10 cents each,
-subject to further advance
-as the edition decreases.</p>
-
-<p class="noindent"><b>Numbers Issued:</b></p>
-
-<table>
-  <tr>
-    <td class="tdr"><i>I.</i></td>
-    <td><i>Lyrics from William Blake.</i></td>
-  </tr>
-  <tr>
-    <td class="tdr"><i>II.</i></td>
-    <td><i>Ballades from Francois Villon.</i></td>
-  </tr>
-  <tr>
-    <td class="tdr"><i>III.</i></td>
-    <td><i>Mediæval Latin Students’ Songs.</i></td>
-  </tr>
-  <tr>
-    <td class="tdr"><i>IV.</i></td>
-    <td><i>A Discourse of Marcus Aurelius.</i></td>
-  </tr>
-  <tr>
-    <td class="tdr"><i>V.</i></td>
-    <td><i>Fragments from Sappho.</i></td>
-  </tr>
-  <tr>
-    <td class="tdr"><i>VI.</i></td>
-    <td><i>Sonnets on English Dramatic Poets.</i></td>
-  </tr>
-  <tr>
-    <td class="tdr"><i>VII.</i></td>
-    <td><i>The Pathos of the Rose in Poetry.</i></td>
-  </tr>
-  <tr>
-    <td class="tdr"><i>VIII.</i></td>
-    <td><i>Lyrics from James Thomson (B. V.)</i></td>
-  </tr>
-  <tr>
-    <td class="tdr"><i>IX.</i></td>
-    <td><i>Hand and Soul: D. G. Rosetti.</i></td>
-  </tr>
-  <tr>
-    <td class="tdr"><i>X.</i></td>
-    <td><i>A Book of Airs from Campion, (October.)</i></td>
-  </tr>
-</table>
-
-<p class="center">THOMAS B. MOSHER, Publisher,<br />
-Portland, Maine.</p>
-
-</div>
-
-<div class="boxdots">
-
-<p class="noindent larger"><span class="u">LITTLE JOURNEYS</span></p>
-
-<p class="center">To the
-Homes of Good Men and
-Great.</p>
-
-<p><i>A series of literary studies published in monthly
-numbers, tastefully printed on hand-made
-paper, with attractive title-page.</i></p>
-
-<p class="center">By ELBERT HUBBARD</p>
-
-<div class="figleft">
-<img src="images/deco2.jpg" width="30" height="30" alt="" />
-</div>
-
-<p>The publishers announce that Little Journeys will
-be issued monthly and that each number will treat of
-recent visits made by Mr. Elbert Hubbard to the homes
-and haunts of various eminent persons. The subjects for
-the first twelve numbers have been arranged as follows:</p>
-
-<ul>
-<li>&#160;1. George Eliot</li>
-<li>&#160;2. Thomas Carlyle</li>
-<li>&#160;3. John Ruskin</li>
-<li>&#160;4. W. E. Gladstone</li>
-<li>&#160;5. J. M. W. Turner</li>
-<li>&#160;6. Jonathan Swift</li>
-<li>&#160;7. Victor Hugo</li>
-<li>&#160;8. Wm. Wordsworth</li>
-<li>&#160;9. W. M. Thackeray</li>
-<li>10. Charles Dickens</li>
-<li>11. Oliver Goldsmith</li>
-<li>12. Shakespeare</li>
-</ul>
-
-<p class="hanging"><i>LITTLE JOURNEYS:<br />
-Published Monthly, 50 cents a year.
-Single copies, 5 cents, postage paid.</i></p>
-
-<p class="center">Published by G. P. PUTNAM’S SONS,</p>
-
-<p class="center">27 and 29 West 23d Street, New York.<br />
-24 Bedford Street, Strand, London.</p>
-
-</div>
-
-<div class="figcenter">
-<img src="images/deco1.jpg" width="30" height="30" alt="" />
-</div>
-
-<div class="chapter max30">
-
-<div>
-<img class="dropcap" src="images/dropcap-a.jpg" width="200" height="200" alt="" />
-</div>
-
-<h2 class="nobreak dropcap" id="AT_THIS_TIME_THE">AT THIS TIME THE
-PROPRIETORS OF
-THE ROYCROFT
-PRINTING SHOP, at
-East Aurora, New
-York, announce the
-publication about Christmas time of
-an exquisite edition of the JOURNAL
-OF KOHELETH, otherwise the
-Book of Ecclesiastes, reparagraphed.</h2>
-
-<div class="blockquote">
-
-<p>With a bit of an introduction by Mr. Elbert
-Hubbard, whimsical, perhaps, but sincere,
-wherein the rich quality of the text is commended
-to those over thirty, and under:
-with explanations, always reverent, that
-may be useful.</p>
-
-</div>
-
-<div class="figcenter">
-<img src="images/deco4.jpg" width="30" height="30" alt="" />
-</div>
-
-<p><b>This book, printed by hand on Dickinson’s
-hand made paper, will mark an era in the art
-of printing in America. The edition, limited to
-750 copies, will be bound in flexible Japan
-vellum, wrapped and boxed. Each book numbered,
-and signed by the editor.</b></p>
-
-<div class="figcenter">
-<img src="images/deco4.jpg" width="30" height="30" alt="" />
-</div>
-
-<p>Yes, do you send me a book for my birthday.
-Not a bargain book, bought from a haberdasher, but
-a beautiful book, a book to caress—peculiar, distinctive
-and individual: a book that hath first caught
-your eye and then pleased your fancy, written by an
-author with a tender whim—all right out of his
-heart. We will read it together in the gloaming,
-and when the gathering dusk doth blur the page
-we’ll sit with hearts too full for speech and think it
-over.—<span class="smcap">Dorothy Wordsworth to Coleridge.</span></p>
-
-</div>
-
-<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop" />
-
-<div class="chapter max30">
-
-<div>
-<img class="dropcap" src="images/dropcap-t2.jpg" width="50" height="60" alt="" />
-</div>
-
-<h1 class="nobreak dropcap">THE PHILISTINE.
- <img class="inline" src="images/deco5.jpg" alt="" />
- <img class="inline" src="images/deco5.jpg" alt="" />
- <img class="inline" src="images/deco5.jpg" alt="" /></h1>
-
-<p class="center">Edited by H. P. TABER.</p>
-
-<hr />
-
-<p class="center">THE ROYCROFT PRINTING SHOP,<br />
-East Aurora, New York,<br />
-Publishers.</p>
-
-<hr />
-
-<p><span class="smcap">The Philistine</span> is published monthly at
-$1 a year, 10 cents a single copy. Subscriptions
-may be left with newsdealers or sent
-direct to the publishers. The trade supplied
-by the <span class="smcap">American News Company</span> and its
-branches. Foreign agencies, <span class="smcap">Brentano’s</span>, 37
-Avenue de l’Opera, Paris; <span class="smcap">G. P. Putnam’s
-Sons</span>, 24 Bedford street, Strand, London.</p>
-
-<p>Business communications should be addressed to
-<span class="smcap">The Philistine</span>, East Aurora, New York. Matter
-intended for publication may be sent to the same
-address or to Box 6, Cambridge, Massachusetts.</p>
-
-<p class="center"><i>Entered at the Postoffice at East Aurora, New York, for transmission
-as mail matter of the second class.</i></p>
-
-<p class="noindent"><i>COPYRIGHT, 1895, by H. P. Taber.</i></p>
-
-<hr />
-
-<p><b>The Book Shop</b>, Rare Books, Garfield
-Building, Bond street, Cleveland, Ohio.</p>
-
-<hr />
-
-<p><b>George P. Humphrey</b>, Old Books,
-Catalogues issued, 25 Exchange street,
-Rochester, N. Y.</p>
-
-</div>
-
-<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop" />
-
-<div class="chapter">
-
-<p><span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_137"></a>[137]</span></p>
-
-<h2 class="nobreak">THE PHILISTINE.</h2>
-
-</div>
-
-<div class="subhead">
-
-<p class="center"><span class="allsmcap">NO. 5.</span> <span class="spacer">October, 1895.</span> <span class="allsmcap">VOL. 1.</span></p>
-
-</div>
-
-<div class="chapter">
-
-<h2 class="nobreak" id="RHADAMANTHINA_IVRA">RHADAMANTHINA IVRA.</h2>
-
-</div>
-
-<div class="blockquote">
-
-<p class="center"><i>Castigat auditque dolos subigitque fateri.</i></p>
-
-</div>
-
-<div>
-<img class="dropcap" src="images/dropcap-i.jpg" width="50" height="60" alt="" />
-</div>
-
-<p class="dropcap">It was the custom of the Roman <i>Prætor Urbanus</i>
-when entering upon his duties to post up in plain
-view of the public a brief exposition of the principles
-which were to guide him in passing judgment during
-his year of office. It seems fit that the <span class="smcap">Philistine</span>
-should likewise issue its own EDICTVM PERPETVVM
-setting forth the scope and ultimate purpose
-of such literary criticisms as may appear from
-time to time in its pages.</p>
-
-<p>It is offenders only who are to be deemed worthy
-of Reviews in these columns and as the worst possible
-offence of which they can be guilty, since it
-includes all specific or lesser faults, is the bare fact
-of their existence in type, it will be our aim to hold
-up to the merited scorn of an outraged world the
-responsible progenitors of such unblessed offspring,
-the Publisher, and his partner in sin, the Author of
-the book.</p>
-
-<p>In thus reversing that order in criminality which<span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_138"></a>[138]</span>
-has hitherto obtained in the assizes of criticism we
-are moved by the consideration among others: the
-writing of any book, good or bad, is a matter of concern
-to its author alone so long as it remains in manuscript.
-Its merits or demerits have alike no existence
-to the public; however shameless its morals, feeble
-its plot or intolerable its dullness these are all equally
-powerless for mischief so long as it has not been put
-into type and launched upon a much suffering, helpless
-world. Then its career of evil begins. For this
-the Publisher is solely responsible; he and he alone
-is able to remedy the abuses which have long been
-calling out to heaven for suppression, by setting up
-some sort of standard as to the minimum of those
-defects which shall bar any manuscript whatever
-from his favorable consideration. What this minimum
-ought to be we shall take pleasure in enlightening
-him from time to time in these pages.</p>
-
-<p>It may be urged that the weapon of scorn has been
-used and abused time out of mind; we reply that the
-objector is in error in one essential. The dart is an old
-one indeed, but its point has been blunted, not in the
-fattening tissues of this chief offender but on the
-scantily clad bones of his weaker accomplice, the
-much-abused author. In issuing an illegitimate book
-the Author is the victim of the sweetest and most
-pathetic fallacy known to men: <i>he believes his work is<span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_139"></a>[139]</span>
-good</i>; while the publisher knows better. One is animated
-by love and nature, the other has only a lust
-for dollars. In such offenses as we are discussing,
-no less than in certain others needing no more explicit
-designation, it is not the deed itself but its exposure
-which calls forth the protests of a PHILISTINE
-public. Those Little Sisters in Sin, <i>A Superfluous
-Woman</i> and <i>Bessie Costrell</i> might have faded
-to oblivion in their swaddling clothes had no publisher
-been found to expose them to daylight.</p>
-
-<p>It will be understood therefore that our column of
-Reviews exists, not to aid struggling authors or enterprising
-publishers to launch their craft upon the
-already crowded ocean of Literature, but as the Pillory
-where manifest culprits are exposed to the jibes
-of the crowd, to the end that others who are meditating
-like deeds may be warned by such penalty to
-desist. Nor need the idle stocks ever yawn in emptiness
-so long as upon his right hand and his left a
-man beholds such a richness of backs itching for the
-lash.</p>
-
-<p>And since we have promised that instruction shall
-go hand in hand with castigation we will not
-close until we have pointed out for the future guidance
-of those who may wish to avoid one at least of
-the many by-paths of reprobation, that in any novel
-we regard the existence of page Four Hundred of<span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_140"></a>[140]</span>
-readable type as confession on the part of both Publisher
-and Author that neither of them has yet learned
-the foremost and greatest of the arts of their trade—the
-art to blot.</p>
-
-<p><i>De confessis sicuti de manifestis—supplicium sumendum
-est.</i></p>
-
-<h3>A TRINITY OF OFFENDERS.</h3>
-
-<div class="blockquote">
-
-<p>1. THE LAND OF THE SUN, <i>a third rate
-guide-book to Mexico, and incidentally a Touter for
-one of its Railways</i>; by Christian Reid, a woman who
-once wrote a good novel, superfluously illustrated,
-12mo. cloth, pp. 355. D. Appleton &amp; Co., N. Y.,
-$1.75.</p>
-
-<p>2. LOVE IN IDLENESS, by F. Marion Crawford,
-author of ETC., <i>etc.</i>, &amp; etc., absurdly illustrated,
-crown 8vo., cloth, gilt-edge, pp. 218. Macmillan &amp;
-Co., N. Y., $2.00.</p>
-
-<p>3. ADVICE TO LITERARY ASPIRANTS—<i>One
-Hundred Ways to Become Famous for One Dollar</i>,
-by Mr. Arthur Lewis, illustrated, 12mo., pp. 247.
-Dodd, Rott &amp; Co., N. Y., $1.00.</p>
-
-</div>
-
-<p>1. We are but too familiar, all of us, with the
-devices of the quack-medicine advertiser, his trick of
-getting us to read his puff in spite of ourselves. It is
-an old yet still successful dodge. The first sentence in
-a column of the morning paper promises a little ten
-minute romance. As we proceed our interest quickens.
-We inadvertently glance to the end to learn whether<span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_141"></a>[141]</span>
-the hero is destined to the rope or the heroine reserved
-for the altar. There stands forth the mark of
-the Beast, “<i>Butcher’s Bilious Bouncer</i>, sure cure for
-the Liver, price ten cents.” According as nature
-has allied us to Democritus or to Archilochus we
-laugh or swear at our gullibility while we turn to
-some other item, but if fair-minded men we do not
-swear at the editor, for we know that he lives by letting
-for hire his numberless columns with no restriction
-on his advertisers save that their matter does not
-exclude his paper from the United States Mail.</p>
-
-<p>It is far different, however, when trusting in
-an author’s name or at least in the imprint of a
-publisher of high standing, a man takes up a book
-which he has bought in the expectation of finding it
-a readable or at all events a genuine novel, but soon
-discovers it to be a string of sausages, whose thin
-membrane of such romance as it does afford exists
-merely to encase a solid stuffing of railroad advertisements,
-“scenic route” business and such secondhand
-truck. Yet of such is the <i>Land of the Sun</i>. Before
-reading it myself I tendered it to a friend in
-answer to his request for the latest novel. A few days
-after, he returned it saying, “It opens more like an
-advertisement of the Bullseye Parlor Car Company.”</p>
-
-<p>Now it so happens that the people who made the
-book are also publishers of guide-books and among<span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_142"></a>[142]</span>
-these of a guide-book to Mexico, <i>eo nomine</i>, it had
-been fitter and more worthy their own high standing
-had they not stooped to palm off such a farrago upon
-a man whose thoughts at the time were not how to
-get to Mexico nor what could be seen if he went
-there, but simply the means of beguiling an evening,
-lolling at ease in his smoking jacket.</p>
-
-<p>As to the lady who was once equal to writing <i>The
-Land of the Sky</i>, one feels sorrow at her fall, and
-cannot help wondering if sin of this sort yields her
-either profit or pleasure.</p>
-
-<p>2. If a reader were asked to single out some one
-publisher whose name should be guarantee that in
-buying a book one would get fair equivalent for his
-money, not in paper and ink alone, but in the stuff
-of its ideas, he would not often go amiss were he to
-name Macmillans. It is with double pain therefore
-that he resents being led astray into paying Two Dollars
-for such a trifling effusion as <i>Love in Idleness</i>. He
-is hurt not only by the one and one-half dollars lost
-in excess of any just valuation of the book, but also
-and perhaps by a less reparable loss of the confidence
-long deserved by the class of Macmillan publications.
-In short he feels that both publisher and writer have
-conspired to cinch him and the rest of the reading
-public, and here, too, the heavier share of the reproach
-must fall upon the man. If Mr. Marion<span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_143"></a>[143]</span>
-Crawford, pluming himself upon such past achievements
-as <i>Mr. Isaacs</i>, chooses to value the weakling
-of his decadence at such extravagant figures that it
-must be listed at Two Dollars if it is to appear in
-decent type, there is surely no need that his accomplice
-be Macmillan. Doubtless there be publishers
-whose horns would be exalted were Crawford’s
-name to shine upon their title pages, but Macmillan
-is not of such cattle; he stands among the very topmost
-already, wherefore he should be above impostures.</p>
-
-<p>The book is freely illustrated, but the pictures
-have nothing to do with the persons and incidents
-of the story.</p>
-
-<p>3. As the editor of the Only Real Sure-Enough
-<i>Chip-Munk</i> so truthfully points out in his every issue,
-man is an imitative animal. But whether it is equally
-true that there are hundreds and hundreds of imitation
-chip-munks, all made like those calico cats that
-do duty as bric-a-brac, I cannot say. Yet the undisputed
-statement, made in such a solemn way, that man
-is imitative, must stand.</p>
-
-<p>On ascending a certain beautiful little bay along
-the coast of Maine, the traveller is confronted by the
-startling legend, painted on the face of a great palisade:
-<i>This is Belfast, the Home of Gringo’s Vermifuge—One
-Hundred Doses for One Dollar</i>.</p>
-
-<p><span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_144"></a>[144]</span></p>
-
-<p>And to-day at Franklin, Ohio, as the train stops at
-the water tank one sees in the pasture opposite, an
-immense bill board, and on the board in gigantic letters
-are the words: <i>This is Franklin, the Home of
-Jingo’s Advice to Authors—One Hundred Places to
-sell Manuscript, One Dollar</i>.</p>
-
-<p>That a place is needed to sell manuscript I will
-admit—in fact I am looking for such a place, but I
-only require <i>one</i> place, not a hundred. So I am suspicious
-of Mr. Jingo: I think that he offers just
-ninety-nine times more than is meet, and so I turn to
-Mr. Arthur Lewis of Albany, who has in the press a
-book with a title suspiciously like the Ohio publication.
-It is called <i>Advice to Literary Aspirants—One
-Hundred Ways to Become Famous for One Dollar</i>.
-Advance sheets of this work show that the author
-has expended considerable care on it. He marshals
-statistics to show that only one out of 97,621 of the
-men who write books ever secure even a tuppence
-worth of fame. In fact he proves that fame and
-good writing have no more to do with each other
-than Art and Truth, Virtue and Profession, Marriage
-and Constancy. He therefore concludes that the
-Literary Aspirant should secure his Fame first and
-launch his Literature afterward, and in this way take
-the tide at its flood and move on to fortune. To this
-end the gifted author gives one hundred ways of securing<span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_145"></a>[145]</span>
-fame. He starts with Homicide and runs
-through to Arson and Bridge Jumping, giving incidentally
-fourteen different kinds of Scandal and how
-to bring it about.</p>
-
-<p>In my own mind I have always made a distinction
-between illustrious men, famous men and notorious
-men, but Mr. Lewis avers that in our day and generation
-such fine shades are all obliterated by the bright
-iridescence of the standard dollar. An author, he
-says, succeeds only as his books sell, and if his name
-is on the lips of rumor, women especially will besiege
-the stores and demand his tomes.</p>
-
-<p>Now we must admit that the fine sophistry that Mr.
-Lewis brings to bear is interesting, but is it Art?
-Further than this, does it fill a vacuum in the great
-economic cosmos of Letters? I do not think that it
-does, and therefore do not hesitate to flatly give it
-as my opinion that while the author is sincere,
-the publishers are moved by no other motive than to
-secure the money of ambitious young men and
-women, having first victimized Mr. Lewis for the
-cost of plates and the first edition. That the work,
-like all skillful sophistry, is inspiring to the young,
-there is no doubt, but the final effect of the book on
-society I believe will be damaging, and therefore I
-cannot conscientiously recommend it.</p>
-
-<div class="figcenter">
-<img src="images/deco1.jpg" width="30" height="30" alt="" />
-</div>
-
-<div class="chapter">
-
-<p><span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_146"></a>[146]</span></p>
-
-<h2 class="nobreak" id="A_JOURNALISTIC_NOTE">A JOURNALISTIC NOTE.</h2>
-
-</div>
-
-<div>
-<img class="dropcap" src="images/dropcap-o.jpg" width="50" height="60" alt="" />
-</div>
-
-<p class="dropcap">Our valued co-worker in the vineyard, the Rev.
-George H. Hepworth, has begun to cast his
-Sunday <i>Herald</i> sermons in the first person singular
-and affix his distinguished name thereto. If this will
-make these sermons no better it will at least make
-them no worse.</p>
-
-<p>As long-time admirers of these admirable Sabbath
-sermocinations <span class="smcap">The Philistine</span> welcomes this innovation.
-And we think we know the wherefore of it.
-The Rev. Mr. Hepworth’s name attached to an article
-denunciatory of sin will have a tendency to strike
-terror into the heart of Beelzebub, and it was for this
-reason, no doubt, that Mr. Bennett directed Brother
-Hepworth to take the field in person.</p>
-
-<p>Unquestionably this will add a new and livelier
-interest to the church. Each combatant knows
-exactly whom he is fighting. It is now Hepworth
-against Satan with a fair field and no favor. We
-have no hesitancy in saying that so far as Mr. Hepworth
-is concerned there will be no <i>Valkyrie</i> business.
-Moreover there is no desire to shirk responsibility.
-What he has to say he will say fearlessly over his
-own signature, and if those against whom these ecclesiastical
-thunderbolts are launched do not like them
-they know what they can do. Wot t’ell!</p>
-
-<p class="right"><span class="smcap">Robert W. Criswell.</span></p>
-
-<div class="figcenter">
-<img src="images/deco1.jpg" width="30" height="30" alt="" />
-</div>
-
-<div class="chapter">
-
-<p><span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_147"></a>[147]</span></p>
-
-<h2 class="nobreak" id="De_mortuis_nil_nisi_bonum">“<i>De mortuis nil nisi bonum.</i>”</h2>
-
-</div>
-
-<div class="poetry-container">
-<div class="poetry">
-  <div class="stanza">
-    <div class="verse indent0">“Speak no evil of the dead:”</div>
-    <div class="verse indent2">Standard story that of Cain;</div>
-    <div class="verse indent0">Sence his vitle spark has fled,</div>
-    <div class="verse indent2">Dast a soul of him complain?</div>
-    <div class="verse indent0">Did his brother mortle harm,</div>
-    <div class="verse indent2">Lied about the thing, to God;</div>
-    <div class="verse indent0">His’n the fust abandoned farm;</div>
-    <div class="verse indent2">Skipped to Canady or Nod.</div>
-    <div class="verse indent0">Like some latter-day ex-gent,</div>
-    <div class="verse indent0">Sorry—for his punishment.</div>
-  </div>
-  <div class="stanza">
-    <div class="verse indent0">Judas did a traitor’s deed,</div>
-    <div class="verse indent2">’Scuse, I beg, the mention here,</div>
-    <div class="verse indent0">Bein’ his life has gone to seed</div>
-    <div class="verse indent2">(Scattered far and wide, I fear),</div>
-    <div class="verse indent0">Of him may no ill be sayed,</div>
-    <div class="verse indent2">Though this miscreant for gain</div>
-    <div class="verse indent0">The one perfec’ Man betrayed</div>
-    <div class="verse indent2">To be crucified and slain:</div>
-    <div class="verse indent0">Went and killed hisself withal—</div>
-    <div class="verse indent0">After readin’ Ingersoll.</div>
-  </div>
-  <div class="stanza">
-    <div class="verse indent0">Stay! That max’m mayn’t be true;</div>
-    <div class="verse indent2">In old heathen Rome ’twas bred;</div>
-    <div class="verse indent0">Livin’ men should have in view</div>
-    <div class="verse indent2">What’s the status of ’em dead.</div>
-    <div class="verse indent0">Conduc’ stands—time don’t forswear’t—</div>
-    <div class="verse indent2">Even to a lord’s disgrace,</div>
-    <div class="verse indent0">When with Cain and Judas Scairt</div>
-    <div class="verse indent2">He has went ter his own place.</div>
-    <div class="verse indent0">Cains and Judases, don’t guess</div>
-    <div class="verse indent0">Death will make you a success.</div>
-  </div>
-  <div class="stanza">
-    <div class="verse right"><span class="smcap">L. S. Goodwin.</span></div>
-  </div>
-</div>
-</div>
-
-<div class="figcenter">
-<img src="images/deco1.jpg" width="30" height="30" alt="" />
-</div>
-
-<p><span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_148"></a>[148]</span></p>
-
-<div class="figleft">
-<img src="images/deco3.jpg" width="170" height="100" alt="" />
-</div>
-
-<div class="chapter">
-
-<h2 class="nobreak hanging allsmcap" id="SIDE_TALKS_WITH_THE_PHILISTINES">SIDE TALKS WITH THE PHILISTINES:
-BEING SUNDRY BITS OF
-WISDOM WHICH HAVE BEEN
-HERETOFORE SECRETED, AND ARE NOW
-SET FORTH IN PRINT.</h2>
-
-</div>
-
-<p><img class="inline" src="images/deco1.jpg" alt="" /> If <span class="smcap">The Philistine</span> disturbs placid self-complacency
-anywhere, as one or two of its critics intimate, it is
-sorry, for there is no such happiness attainable anywhere
-this side of Nirvana as its serene contemplation
-of the charms of self which Narcissus and some
-more modern fakirs exemplify; and the magazine of
-to-day is its gospel. But so good a Philistine as
-Horace Greeley is my authority for believing that the
-still pool in which self-love sees the reflection it feeds
-upon is a breeder of death, not life, and effervescence is
-the sworn foe of the morbid. Not the things we do
-that we ought not to do, but the things left undone
-that we ought to do are the primary count leading
-up to the confession that “there is no health in us.”
-The other follows. Stagnation and the miasma of
-self-consciousness co-exist and are not to be separated.
-Wherefore, fellow-egoists, let us get a gait
-on.</p>
-
-<p><img class="inline" src="images/deco1.jpg" alt="" /> I like the broad flourish with which some imaginative
-writers connect widely separated events in a
-stroke of the pen and omit all that lies between as<span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_149"></a>[149]</span>
-mere incident. It seems to me a proof of the theory
-put forward by my good friend Elbert Hubbard that
-genius is a feminine element of character—in man or
-woman. For example, I find this statement in the
-latest of the <i>Little Journeys</i>: “Moses was sent
-adrift, but the tide carried him into power.” I didn’t
-know just what that meant till I recalled the discovery
-of the bulrush cradle. A less intuitive writer
-wouldn’t have bridged eighty years in that summary
-way. He might have hinted at Moses’s police court
-record—told how he killed an Egyptian for calling
-him a son of a Populist or something and skun out
-for half a lifetime and yet became a Prince of Egypt
-and spent forty years or so at court before he took
-the road with the forefathers of Brickmaker Tourgee.
-But to connect the condensed milk baby in the market
-basket on the Nile with the law-giver of Israel in
-one movement, as the music people say, is a pretty
-long span and suggests the liberty David Copperfield
-takes with his own biography in the best book but
-one written by the subject of the latest <i>Little Journey</i>.
-“I was born:” he says—and all else is irrelevant.
-I take it that Mr. Hubbard agrees with John
-Boyle O’Reilly that “the world was made when a
-man was born.” The feminine element of genius
-which Mr. Hubbard tells us makes poets is manifest
-in that formula. If the author of the <i>Journeys</i> will<span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_150"></a>[150]</span>
-permit, I would suggest that the same mother instinct
-that crops out there is manifested in the grasp of a
-life in the compass of a sentence which puzzled me at
-the first. To be born and to die is the record of
-existence, to which all else is tributary; and the
-pangs of birth and death thrill all the poet-strains.
-Only the tragedy that sweeps along the strings lives
-to echo in human hearts. It is the deathless minor
-chord that distinguishes the melody of true poetry
-from the dancing cadences of rhyme in all literature.
-The undertone is the soul of all song, in verse or in
-the unmeasured periods of epic prose.</p>
-
-<p><img class="inline" src="images/deco1.jpg" alt="" /> Mention of Moses recalls the perhaps unique fact
-that a priest of the most austere of churches rolled
-off a tongue, musical with brogue, in his newspaper
-sanctum—for he is a priest of the pen too—this romantic
-version of the basket story which I have
-never seen anywhere but in his paper—then in the
-process of make-up:</p>
-
-<div class="poetry-container">
-<div class="poetry">
-  <div class="stanza">
-    <div class="verse indent0">On Egypt’s banks, convaynient to the Nile,</div>
-    <div class="verse indent0">Great Pharaoh’s daughter went to bathe in shtyle,</div>
-    <div class="verse indent0">And shtooping down, as everyone supposes</div>
-    <div class="verse indent0">To scratch her shin, she shpied the infant Moses:</div>
-    <div class="verse indent0">Then turning to her maids, in accents wild</div>
-    <div class="verse indent0">Cried: “Tare an’ ’ouns, girls, which o’ yes owns the chyild?”</div>
-  </div>
-</div>
-</div>
-
-<p><img class="inline" src="images/deco1.jpg" alt="" /> I observe that the editor of the <i>Arena</i> is about to
-make a contract with the Michigan Wheel Company<span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_151"></a>[151]</span>
-of Lansing, Michigan, for large quantities of its product
-to give as prizes to new contributors only, the
-old ones being already well supplied.</p>
-
-<p><img class="inline" src="images/deco1.jpg" alt="" /> The following advertisement is clipped from one of
-the October magazines:</p>
-
-<div class="blockquote">
-
-<p class="center">MANUSCRIPT RECORD.</p>
-
-<p>A handsome method for keeping track of manuscripts.
-Contains space for recording one hundred
-manuscripts, showing title, where sent, number of
-words, when returned or accepted, when paid for
-and amount, when published, postage account, etc.
-Each page a complete history of one manuscript,
-from the time it is first sent out, until published and
-paid for. Price, $1.25. Sent postpaid to any address
-on receipt of price.</p>
-
-<p class="center"><span class="smcap">The Bohemian Publishing Co.</span>,<br />
-Pike Building, Cincinnati, O.</p>
-
-</div>
-
-<p>I have sent for this book, as it is my intention to
-write one hundred manuscripts, and I desire to keep
-track of them until published and paid for. I have
-therefore ordered the book bound in cast iron.</p>
-
-<p><img class="inline" src="images/deco1.jpg" alt="" /> In a recent number of <i>Modern Art</i> protest is filed
-against the editor of the <i>Chip-Munk</i> continuing to
-ask that startling question “Do You Keep a Dog?”
-In God’s name, what right have the Chicago Decadents
-to thus pry into our private affairs? Is it not
-bad enough when the <i>Chip-Munk</i> advises us to drink
-Guzzle’s beer and use Culby’s soap without being
-interrogated as to what we “keep?”</p>
-
-<p><span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_152"></a>[152]</span></p>
-
-<p><img class="inline" src="images/deco1.jpg" alt="" /> Among the revivals which occur now and then in
-everything is a discussion of an old “science” of
-reading characters by the hair. I don’t know much
-about it, but from what I have heard I believe a pair
-of old she-bears set back the theory for a few centuries
-when they chewed up the small boys that
-poked fun at Elijah. The old man would be rated
-as having no character, according to these “readers,”
-for he had no hair, but Providence and the early
-Ursulines vindicated him.</p>
-
-<p><img class="inline" src="images/deco1.jpg" alt="" /> A new woman who has been reading <i>God’s Fool</i>
-laid it down at the last chapter with a long sigh.
-“What do you think of it,” I asked. “It is dramatic,”
-she said, “terribly dramatic at the end,”
-and then added, after a pause, “I wonder what the
-reading of the next generation will be like. We
-have reached a force and directness of narration that
-seems to me to be pretty near the limit of possibility.
-What will we have next?” “What do you think?”
-I asked. “I think,” she said, “we will have a reaction.
-We will take in more and give out less.
-We are near one of the great periods of what has
-been called revelation in the past. Our literature is
-shallow but perfect, relatively, in expression. Our
-art is the same throughout. Our politics are personal.
-Our religion is liberal, and loose in the joints. Our
-social life is insincere and imitative. Our lives have<span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_153"></a>[153]</span>
-nothing in them to stir the deeps. There will be a
-reaction. The finesse of expression will be set aside
-for the tremendous earnestness that accompanies great
-events and prints their lessons on receptive minds.
-A break-up in Europe it may be, or some other social
-convulsion, that will change the tide. We are pretty
-near at the top of the flood now.” That’s the new
-woman’s view. I wonder how near she’s right?</p>
-
-<p><img class="inline" src="images/deco1.jpg" alt="" /> Three hundred and twenty-seven thousand of my
-friends have individually sent to me a recent number
-of my Philadelphia contemporary, <i>Footlights</i>, in which
-it refers to <span class="smcap">The Philistine</span> variously as a crow, a
-dicky bird and “a birdie of the jackass breed.” I
-am glad to be catalogued in this ornithological manner,
-and my friends may accept the listing as they
-please. As for myself, I’d rather be a good honest
-wild ass of the desert with long fuzzy ears than a poor
-imitation bird-of-paradise—stuffed by one hundred
-and seventeen geniuses.</p>
-
-<p><img class="inline" src="images/deco1.jpg" alt="" /> A matter of architecture has been involved in the
-social problem which the <i>Arena</i> has ever with it—like
-a stutter or a beer breath. According to an alleged
-novel recently published by the Arena Company
-and called <i>Edith, a Story of Chinatown</i>, a feature
-of the tabooed district of Los Angeles, California,
-is a bay window projection on the houses devoted to<span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_154"></a>[154]</span>
-vice, wherein beauty spreads lures for the eyes of
-passers-by. The heroine of this lovely romance is
-one of these persons, sinned against in the prologue
-and sinning in the present, but discovered by a miraculous
-New York reporter on a vacation and returned
-to her broken-hearted parents and a good life.
-A benediction, with a remote hint of the Lohengrin
-march, ends the story. The <i>Arena</i> gives two pages
-to a review of the book, which is very kind of the
-publisher, and tells us therein that a description of
-Alameda street and of Dupont street, San Francisco,
-which is worse, is its purpose. The <i>Arena</i> can be
-depended on for a full stock of “terrible examples.”</p>
-
-<p><img class="inline" src="images/deco1.jpg" alt="" /> The <i>Literary Digest</i> is falling into line admirably.
-Recently it printed a translation from some French
-source from which I clip the following:</p>
-
-<div class="blockquote">
-
-<p>A Parisian literary man has been complaining that
-authors are not represented at international expositions
-in the same sense as are painters and sculptors.
-The complaint has provoked sarcastic comment from
-M. Maurice Goncourt, who, in <i>Charivari</i> (Paris),
-suggests that, since an exhibition of their works
-would not be sufficiently striking, the authors themselves
-should be put on show in cages!</p>
-
-<p>“All the writers who are at present the incontestable
-masters of romance and journalism will transport,
-during the period of the Exposition, their working
-rooms to a section specially provided for them.</p>
-
-<p>“The public will see them there as they really are<span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_155"></a>[155]</span>
-at home, surrounded with their furniture, their books,
-all their accessories, and in working costume.</p>
-
-<p>“From such an hour to such an hour—as at home—they
-will work on their articles, poems, or novels.</p>
-
-<p>“That would draw a crowd; that would be truly
-interesting!</p>
-
-<p>“They could be looked at through a sheet of glass
-or a lattice—silently, so as not to interfere with their
-inspiration.</p>
-
-<p>“The administration could even put up signs like
-this:</p>
-
-<p class="center">PLEASE THROW NOTHING TO THE POETS,</p>
-
-<p class="noindent">or—more particularly for the pretty visitors:</p>
-
-<p class="center">DON’T EXCITE THE PSYCHOLOGISTS.</p>
-
-</div>
-
-<p>All this sounds much as though it had been written
-by the keeper of <i>The Literary Shop</i>, but I don’t believe
-it was. Supposing, however, such an exhibit
-were held at Atlanta with the Fair now in progress.
-Imagine Mr. Gilder and James Knapp Reeve, Mr.
-Le Gallienne and Laura Jean Libbey, Count Tolstoi
-and Mrs. Mary Jane Holmes, each in his or her own
-coop like a Leghorn chicken! Imagine Colonel S.
-S. McClure (Limited) with his Menagerie of Trained
-Thoroughbreds, each one of them exhibiting by his
-emaciation the horrible results of syndicate writing!
-Imagine Cy Warman pawing madly at the bars of his
-cage trying to tell Sweet Marie about the secret in
-his heart! Then imagine Little Tin God of Philadelphia,<span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_156"></a>[156]</span>
-cuddled up in his basket, writing his masterpiece,
-<i>How to Feed a Sick Kitten!</i> To them then
-would enter Major John Boyd Thacher, the pride and
-joy of the Albany Democracy, and judge equally both
-the just and the unjust. It’s a great idea.</p>
-
-<p><img class="inline" src="images/deco1.jpg" alt="" /> One of my correspondents tells me that “the editor
-of the <i>Lark</i> uses execrable perfume on his note
-paper.” This item is for the future reference of Mr.
-Burgess when he writes about his literary passions.</p>
-
-<p><img class="inline" src="images/deco1.jpg" alt="" /> Several solemn newspapers have taken seriously to
-the extent of half a column or so the proposal of a
-San Francisco publishing house to “bring out good
-literature in a cheap form,” which sounds much like
-the advance agent talk of most publishing houses. It
-isn’t a joke, to be sure, but a good deal depends on
-what is meant by “good literature.” Thundering
-in the prologue is not a novelty, but there may be a
-storm coming for all that.</p>
-
-<p><img class="inline" src="images/deco1.jpg" alt="" /> I note that the brilliant Bok has gone to writing
-proverbs. Here is one culled at random from “A
-Handful of Laconics,” printed under his honored signature
-in his September output:</p>
-
-<div class="blockquote">
-
-<p>It is singular and yet a fact that what we are most
-loath to believe possessed by others is what we are
-incapable of ourselves.</p>
-
-</div>
-
-<p>It is my wish to call the particular attention of my<span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_157"></a>[157]</span>
-readers to this nugget. From a literary and philosophic
-standpoint literature contains nothing like it.
-Examine Rochefoucauld, Montaigne, Plutarch, Pliny
-the Elder, Pliny the Younger or Solomon, and you
-will not find its fellow. Read it again, and read it
-slowly: “It-is-singular-yet-a-fact-that-what-we-are-most-loath-to-believe-possessed-by-others-is-what-we-are-incapable-of-ourselves.”
-This is undoubtedly the
-finest thing in the language and a reward of one
-million dollars will be paid to any <span class="smcap">Philistine</span> who
-will furnish the solution. There is no bar against
-reading it backwards. It reads a little better backwards
-than forwards, but I do not think that is it.</p>
-
-<p><img class="inline" src="images/deco1.jpg" alt="" /> I desire to record a discovery. I found a magazine
-the other day with the advertising pages uncut.</p>
-
-<p><img class="inline" src="images/deco1.jpg" alt="" /> I doubt if Bliss Carman has had a more enthusiastic
-admirer than I. When his <i>Vagabondia</i> appeared I
-sent a copy to Her, which was the greatest compliment
-I could pay the book. In the magazines, notably
-in <i>Town Topics</i>, he has printed verses that were
-well worth preserving as some of the best of the
-decade. In the great mass, however, which he has
-published, there have been lines which nobody on
-earth could understand. They were worse than
-Stephen Crane’s, for he at least has a vague idea
-somewhere, though he rarely does us the favor to<span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_158"></a>[158]</span>
-express it in a seemly manner. Now I want to protest,
-not only against Mr. Carman, but against <i>Life</i>,
-which gave us <i>The Whale and the Sprat</i> which Mr.
-Carman wrote recently. Here are two of the stanzas:</p>
-
-<div class="poetry-container">
-<div class="poetry">
-  <div class="stanza">
-    <div class="verse indent0">My dear Mr. Sprat,</div>
-    <div class="verse indent0">I really am grat-</div>
-    <div class="verse indent2">Ified at your offer.</div>
-    <div class="verse indent0">So down they both sat.</div>
-  </div>
-  <div class="stanza">
-    <div class="verse indent0">Said the Sprat to the Whale,</div>
-    <div class="verse indent0">I admire your tail;</div>
-    <div class="verse indent2">I should think it would be</div>
-    <div class="verse indent0">Of great use in a gale.</div>
-  </div>
-</div>
-</div>
-
-<p>How Mr. Metcalfe ever allowed such drivel to get
-into his columns I cannot understand. Possibly
-while he was in Japan the compositor set the stuff in
-the waste basket instead of that on the copy hook.</p>
-
-<p><img class="inline" src="images/deco1.jpg" alt="" /> <i>Vogue</i> asserts that “thou shalt not covet thy neighbor’s
-wife” is the ninth commandment. On information
-and belief, no doubt.</p>
-
-<p><img class="inline" src="images/deco1.jpg" alt="" /> Because Mr. Rockefeller sneers at Mr. Pullman
-for giving but a paltry hundred thousand for a church
-at Albion, Orleans County, New York, Mr. Pullman
-retorts that Rockefeller is only a malmsey-nosed
-varlet anyway, whose grease his axles are not worthy
-to unloose. I am not quite ready to take George M.
-into the Philistinic fold, but he is surely coming my
-way.</p>
-
-<p><span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_159"></a>[159]</span></p>
-
-<p><img class="inline" src="images/deco1.jpg" alt="" /> I rejoice to find a thoughtful article by Richard
-Burton on the “Renascence of Old English Expression”
-in the current <i>Forum</i>—and not so much for what
-is in the article in detail as for its recognition of the
-main fact that there is something besides Bunthornism
-in the harking back to the simple dignity of early
-English. Our author, it will be noted, has little use
-for the overflowing maimed vowels of Normanesque
-“Renaissance.” Plain Latin renascence is good
-enough in a plea for the Saxon. But it is odd if so
-simple a thing as a rising from death into new life
-has no Saxon equivalent. Why not “re birth!”</p>
-
-<p><img class="inline" src="images/deco1.jpg" alt="" /> Since the Mule-Spinners at Cohoes and Fall River
-went out on a strike I understand that subscriptions
-to <i>The Writer</i> have fallen off one-third.</p>
-
-<p><img class="inline" src="images/deco1.jpg" alt="" /> Neith Boyce is a poet who never beats the brush
-piles of thought without starting good game. She
-writes good honest verse and she also writes “Book
-Notes and News” and other things for the <i>New
-Cycle</i>. The <i>New Cycle</i>, by the way, is not published
-by the Pope Manufacturing Company as one might
-suppose, but it is a monthly magazine “devoted to
-Education, Social Economics, Literature and Art.” I
-once edited a magazine devoted to Education, but the
-subject proved too large for the brainful syndicate
-that employed me; I have also written a book on<span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_160"></a>[160]</span>
-Art; and once, having nothing to do, I lectured for a
-space on Social Economics, but God help me! I
-never in a small monthly magazine attempted to tell
-all about Education, Social Economics, Literature
-<i>and</i> Art.</p>
-
-<p>But the <i>New Cycle</i> is interesting, and if its various
-departments were as well cared for as its Book Notes
-and News it would be a greater success than it is.
-Neith Boyce has an unfailing insight and her touch is
-as light and as sure as my own; and moreover
-there is a tang to her wit that all bookish Philistines
-might well cultivate. In classic lore I have
-always looked up to Miss Boyce as the Court of last
-Appeal, but is it not possible that Minerva sometimes
-nods? Read this:</p>
-
-<div class="blockquote">
-
-<p>“An attraction of the eminently respectable <i>Harper’s
-Weekly</i> will be a series of papers called ‘A
-Houseboat on the Styx’ by Mr. Bangs of Yonkers.
-Nothing is sacred to this funny man. Not content
-with taking his fling at the defunct majesty of Napoleon
-he now proposes to take Pluto by the beard
-and make copy of the pale shadows that throng the
-Stygian shores.”</p>
-</div>
-
-<p>It may be so, but I did not know that Pluto had
-whiskers. And how does Miss Boyce dispose of the
-legend concerning the smooth face and giddy ways
-of old Mr. Pluto when he took to wife the young and
-blooming Persephone? Charon wears a Vandyke as<span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_161"></a>[161]</span>
-we well know; while Mephisto is usually represented
-as clean-shaved or at best a moustache and goatee;
-but hereafter I’ll never think of Pluto without calling
-up in mind Mr. Peffer of Kansas. Go to, Fair
-Lady! think you because barber shops are closed in
-York State on Sundays that they are shut in Hades
-all the week? Next!</p>
-
-<p><img class="inline" src="images/deco1.jpg" alt="" /> A lecturer on Egypt, telling the natives of Buffalo,
-N. Y., about the marvels in stone built on that strip
-of mud, illustrated the proportions of the Nile Valley
-by saying “It it eleven hundred miles long in Egypt
-proper and seven miles wide for most of its length.
-If the city of Buffalo were laid crosswise in the
-valley, it would bisect the kingdom.” And a Rochester
-man who had strayed into the fold was mean
-enough to add: “And if Buffalo was there, that’s
-the way it would lie—cross-ways.” That’s the way
-they talk in Rochester.</p>
-
-<p><img class="inline" src="images/deco1.jpg" alt="" /> I quote this paragraph from <i>Alice</i> and respectfully
-refer it to the editor of <i>Mlle New York</i> with the hope
-that he can see the point as plainly as he sees most
-things:</p>
-
-<div class="blockquote">
-
-<p>All this time the Guard was looking at her, first
-through a telescope, then through a microscope, and
-then through an opera glass. At last he said,
-“You’re travelling the wrong way,” and shut up the
-window and went away.</p>
-
-</div>
-
-<p><span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_162"></a>[162]</span></p>
-
-<p><img class="inline" src="images/deco1.jpg" alt="" /> On his way to Montreal Mr. Hall Caine stopped
-off one day at East Aurora. The Pink Tea given in
-his honor at the office of <span class="smcap">The Philistine</span> was largely
-attended by the farmers from both up the creek and
-down the creek. In fact, as my old friend Billy McGlory
-used to say, “Ye cudden’t see de street fer
-dust.”</p>
-
-<p><img class="inline" src="images/deco1.jpg" alt="" /> The Boston <i>Commonwealth</i> (what satire there is in
-that name!) is a nice paper, but its editor has not
-smiled for forty years; and all of his little writers
-carry so much culture that they are round-shouldered,
-flat-chested, bow-legged and near-sighted.
-They belong to the large class that invariably miss
-the point of things and use dignity for a mask to hide
-their lack of a sense of fun. The <i>Commonwealth</i> accuses
-us of being envious of the <i>Chip-Munk</i>; of
-being violently prejudiced against Mr. Cudahy’s
-book, and of speaking irreverently of Boston. Go to
-thou old granny <i>Commonwealth</i>, why sit you like your
-grandsire carved in alabaster and creep into the
-jaundice by being peevish?</p>
-
-<p><img class="inline" src="images/deco1.jpg" alt="" /> The <i>Book-Peddler</i> is doing great service in promotion
-of what passes for literature in the paper and
-ink stores. I cannot but think what a similar publication
-devoted to literature, not trade, could do to
-save the valuable time of the reading public. Since<span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_163"></a>[163]</span>
-Solomon’s time a good many things have changed,
-but in one there is no improvement. “Of the making
-of many books there is no end,” and that is a
-heap sadder than the lamentation of Maud Muller
-and His Honor.</p>
-
-<p><img class="inline" src="images/deco1.jpg" alt="" /> Concerning Mr. Grant Allen’s book and the manner
-in which its title has been made the basis of several
-others more or less reminiscent, my most valued
-correspondent writes me that the novelists are missing
-much by not calling a story <i>The Woman Who Is
-Simply Dying To</i>. In my well known philanthropic
-way I throw out this suggestion hoping that somebody
-may make many dollars by the adoption of the
-title for a decadent tale.</p>
-
-<p><img class="inline" src="images/deco1.jpg" alt="" /> The Vanastorbilts are really under great obligations
-to Mrs. Rorer’s <i>Household News</i> for the simple daily
-menus for poor folks which are a feature. There’s
-nothing so cheap as good living—in a magazine.
-When bread sticks and banana chutney and peaches
-and rice and cantaloupe can be mowed away
-by a poor man before the seven o’clock whistle blows
-no hard worker ought to lack muscle for his daily
-toil. We have printed assurance of Mrs. Bellow
-that “These menus have been arranged on a scientific
-plan, are thoroughly hygienic, and contain all
-that is necessary for proper living.” It is luck after<span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_164"></a>[164]</span>
-all that man does not live by bread alone, but by
-every word that proceedeth out of the hygienic mouth
-aforesaid.</p>
-
-<p><img class="inline" src="images/deco1.jpg" alt="" /> Messrs. Lo &amp; Behold, publishers of works on moral
-pathology, Boston, are making great efforts to club
-the <i>Arena</i>. I understand they propose offering season
-tickets to museums of morbid anatomy as prizes.</p>
-
-<p><img class="inline" src="images/deco1.jpg" alt="" /> I note a somewhat guarded statement by Dr. Swan
-M. Burnett denying that he and his wife have separated
-or are undergoing that mutually humiliating
-process. All there is of it, he says, is that her work
-keeps her abroad and his keeps him in Washington.
-The doctor’s friends say, however, that the doctor
-and the writist live apart and have done so for years
-and that he is tired of being referred to as Mrs. Frances
-Hodgson Burnett’s husband. I think more likely
-he objects to being identified at the banks and elsewhere
-as the father of Little Lord Fauntleroy.</p>
-
-<p><img class="inline" src="images/deco1.jpg" alt="" /> The <i>Pell Mell Gazette</i> of last Saturday contains a
-cablegram from Mr. Hall Caine, dated at East Aurora,
-N. Y., wherein the author of <i>The Manxman</i>
-reports that the prospect for next year’s crop of ginger
-is very promising.</p>
-
-<p><img class="inline" src="images/deco1.jpg" alt="" /> I suppose it’s all right for the publisher of <i>Munsey’s</i>
-to tell how he made that magazine jump from 20,000
-to half a million copies a month by shutting out middlemen<span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_165"></a>[165]</span>
-and reaching the hungering and thirsting
-public direct. That’s his cue. If the publisher
-didn’t blow his horn who would? I opine, however,
-that the fish would sell without it, and that the editor
-of <i>Munsey’s</i> could tell them something a good deal
-more interesting in the same space. What does the
-great public, with its multitude of aims and desires,
-care how such an effect was accomplished? All that
-could safely remain within the veil. It would be
-more to the point if the editor or publisher of Mr.
-Bok’s collection of wax works would tell by what
-miracle he got a circulation. It is easy in the other
-case, regardless of the smart publisher. The time
-passed long ago when a horse being led to water
-could be forced to drink. The public must have
-wanted <i>Munsey’s</i> when it was shut out by the middleman
-or they wouldn’t have compelled the dealers
-to send for it, and that implies that there’s something
-in it besides self-consciousness and the publisher’s
-tactical brilliancy. But how on earth came the embodied
-ego and its sisters and cousins and aunts to
-get a hearing anywhere? Is Ruth Ashmore, <i>alias</i>
-Bab, at the bottom of it?</p>
-
-<p><img class="inline" src="images/deco1.jpg" alt="" /> A certain gentleman of my acquaintance, having
-heard until he is sick of it that it takes nine Taylors
-to make a man, continues to boldly assert that it
-takes two Chatfields to make a Taylor.</p>
-
-<p><span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_166"></a>[166]</span></p>
-
-<p><img class="inline" src="images/deco1.jpg" alt="" /> When the <span class="smcap">Philistine</span> was started six months ago
-I had no idea that it would now have half a million
-subscribers.</p>
-
-<p><img class="inline" src="images/deco1.jpg" alt="" /> I am reminded by a Boston newspaper of the continued
-existence of a belief that criticism of books
-and other things more or less remotely connected
-with literature is largely a matter of prejudice and
-that the imprints on title pages determine the authors’
-fate. Yet the same article goes on to quote the
-<i>Chip-Munk</i> firm as proof that merit will win sometimes
-in spite of such drawbacks. It seems to me
-the instance proves too much.</p>
-
-<p><img class="inline" src="images/deco1.jpg" alt="" /> And here, just at the last, I want to set down what
-I have just read in a delightful book written by Katherine
-Cheever Meredith—Johanna Staats—because it
-seems to fit one’s mood at this time of year. This
-is it:</p>
-
-<div class="blockquote">
-
-<p>“Oh, I play with Miss Gray Blanket and I play
-with Fanny.”</p>
-
-<p>“Fanny? The little girl?”</p>
-
-<p>“Yes. After it’s dark, you know, I play with
-her. Then I talk to her. She never answers. But
-I play she’s so tired she can’t. Of course I can’t
-play <i>that</i> when it’s light. For then I could <i>see</i> that
-she wasn’t there. But in the dark she <i>might</i> be.”</p>
-
-<p>“Exactly,” responded Poole abstractedly. He
-was thinking that many men and women indulge in
-the same game. Sometimes with their faith in each
-other; but more often, though, with their creeds.</p>
-
-</div>
-
-<div class="figcenter">
-<img src="images/deco1.jpg" width="30" height="30" alt="" />
-</div>
-
-<div class="chapter">
-
-<p><span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_167"></a>[167]</span></p>
-
-<h2 class="nobreak" id="FANFARRONADE">FANFARRONADE.</h2>
-
-</div>
-
-<div class="poetry-container">
-<div class="poetry">
-  <div class="stanza">
-    <div class="verse indent0">Let no man deem himself of Fate the King,</div>
-    <div class="verse indent2">Or challenge Fortune with a voice defiant—</div>
-    <div class="verse indent0">A tiny pebble in a shepherd’s sling</div>
-    <div class="verse indent2">Once overthrew a proud and boastful giant.</div>
-  </div>
-  <div class="stanza">
-    <div class="verse right"><span class="smcap">Clarence Urmy.</span></div>
-  </div>
-</div>
-</div>
-
-<div class="figcenter">
-<img src="images/deco1.jpg" width="30" height="30" alt="" />
-</div>
-
-<div class="chapter">
-
-<h2 class="nobreak" id="NOTHING_BUT_LEAVES">NOTHING BUT LEAVES.</h2>
-
-</div>
-
-<div>
-<img class="dropcap" src="images/dropcap-i.jpg" width="50" height="60" alt="" />
-</div>
-
-<p class="dropcap">It was one of those November days when the
-wind swoops down the mountain sides, bringing
-an avalanche of leaves—disked oak leaves—and
-then leaving them for a moment in the valley basin,
-gathers them in her mighty hands and tosses them
-again almost to the mountain tops.</p>
-
-<p>Chris found a sympathy in the dizzy, whirling,
-swirling leaves. His hopes had withered so, and
-now a girl’s changeful hand had been as reckless
-with him as was the wind with these: like wrath in
-death and envy afterwards.</p>
-
-<p>Poor Chris’s spiritual kingdom was suffering the
-nature of an insurrection, for though he loved her he
-was too proud to tell her she had misjudged him.
-The dissipation of his hopes now was tinged with
-regret, just as the wanton winds seem to us ruthless
-as we remember when these leaves were planes and
-green, not disked and brown.</p>
-
-<p><span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_168"></a>[168]</span></p>
-
-<p>Mockingly came the dance of leaves around his
-feet—each like a thing alive—to beckon him here,
-there, to elude him, to laugh at him.</p>
-
-<p>“It’s too hard to bear!” groaned Chris, between
-his teeth. “How could she believe it! How could
-she!”</p>
-
-<p>A flurry of hurrying, scurrying leaves swept past
-him, a company of mocking, dancing leaves; from
-right and left they came, and scarce ten steps before
-him they met and swirled up—up into a monstrous
-wraith with beckoning hands. Chris’s conflict took
-form. “I’ll do it! I’ll do it! I’ll show her!
-She’ll regret this day!” and he threw back his head
-and with flashing eyes started forward with resolute
-steps.</p>
-
-<p>A lost leaf wavered, dipped, paused, then with a
-timid wafture touched his crisp curls.</p>
-
-<p>His blood surged up, for it was like the caress of a
-loving hand.</p>
-
-<p>“Oh no,” said Chris, “I may be wrong—I’ll tell
-her so;” and holding the lost leaf very gently between
-his two hands he walked swiftly back.</p>
-
-<p class="right"><span class="smcap">Honor Easton.</span></p>
-
-<div class="figcenter">
-<img src="images/deco6.jpg" width="75" height="30" alt="" />
-</div>
-
-<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop" />
-
-<div class="figcenter">
-
-<img src="images/flower-lady.jpg" width="250" height="500" alt="" />
-
-<p class="center">A FLOWER FROM THE CENTURY PLANT.</p>
-
-<p class="center allsmcap">BY CHARLES DINNEH GIVES’EM.</p>
-
-<p class="center">The Princess Stony-eye kept on saying nothing.</p>
-
-</div>
-
-<div style='display:block; margin-top:4em'>*** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE PHILISTINE: A PERIODICAL OF PROTEST (VOL. I, NO. 5, OCTOBER 1895) ***</div>
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