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You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms -of the Project Gutenberg License included with this eBook or online -at <a href="https://www.gutenberg.org">www.gutenberg.org</a>. If you -are not located in the United States, you will have to check the laws of the -country where you are located before using this eBook. -</div> - -<p style='display:block; margin-top:1em; margin-bottom:1em; margin-left:2em; text-indent:-2em'>Title: The Philistine: a periodical of protest (Vol. I, No. 5, October 1895)</p> -<p style='display:block; margin-top:1em; margin-bottom:0; margin-left:2em; text-indent:-2em'>Author: Various</p> -<p style='display:block; text-indent:0; margin:1em 0'>Release Date: June 25, 2022 [eBook #68405]</p> -<p style='display:block; text-indent:0; margin:1em 0'>Language: English</p> - <p style='display:block; margin-top:1em; margin-bottom:0; margin-left:2em; text-indent:-2em; text-align:left'>Produced by: hekula03 and the Online Distributed Proofreading Team at https://www.pgdp.net (This book was produced from images made available by the HathiTrust Digital Library.)</p> -<div style='margin-top:2em; margin-bottom:4em'>*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE PHILISTINE: A PERIODICAL OF PROTEST (VOL. I, NO. 5, OCTOBER 1895) ***</div> - -<div class="max30"> - -<p class="center larger"><span class="larger">The Philistine</span><br /> -A Periodical of Protest.</p> - -<div class="subhead"> - -<p><i>Would to God my name were not so terrible -to the enemy as it is.</i>—<span class="smcap">Henry VIII.</span></p> - -</div> - -<div class="figleft"> -<img src="images/cover-issue5.jpg" width="160" height="200" alt="No. Five." /> -</div> - -<p class="noindent">Printed Every Little While -for The Society of The Philistines -and Published by -Them Monthly. Subscription, -One Dollar Yearly -<img class="inline" src="images/cover-deco1.jpg" alt="" /> -<img class="inline" src="images/cover-deco1.jpg" alt="" /> -<img class="inline" src="images/cover-deco1.jpg" alt="" /></p> - -<p class="noindent">Single Copies, 10 Cents. October, 1895. -<img class="inline" src="images/cover-deco2.jpg" alt="" /> -<img class="inline" src="images/cover-deco2.jpg" alt="" /> -<img class="inline" src="images/cover-deco2.jpg" alt="" /> -<img class="inline" src="images/cover-deco2.jpg" alt="" /> -<img class="inline" src="images/cover-deco2.jpg" alt="" /> -<img class="inline" src="images/cover-deco2.jpg" alt="" /></p> - -</div> - -<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop" /> - -<div class="boxdots"> - -<p class="larger noindent"><span class="u">SPECIAL.</span></p> - -<div> -<img class="dropcap" src="images/dropcap-t.jpg" width="50" height="60" alt="" /> -</div> - -<p class="dropcap">The Bibelot for 1895, complete -in the original wrappers, -uncut, is now supplied on full paid -subscriptions only, at 75 cents net.</p> - -<div> -<img class="dropcap" src="images/dropcap-o.jpg" width="50" height="60" alt="" /> -</div> - -<p class="dropcap">On completion of Volume I in -December the price will be $1.00 -net in wrappers, and $1.50 net in -covers. <span class="smcap">Invariably Postpaid.</span></p> - -<div> -<img class="dropcap" src="images/dropcap-c.jpg" width="50" height="60" alt="" /> -</div> - -<p class="dropcap">Covers for Volume I ready in -November. These will be in -old style boards, in keeping with the -artistic make-up of <span class="smcap">The Bibelot</span>, -and are supplied at 30 cents, postpaid. -<i>End papers and Title-page -are included</i>, whereby the local -binder can case up the volume at -about the cost of postage were it, as -is usual, returned to the publisher for -binding.</p> - -</div> - -<div class="max30"> - -<p><span class="larger">Back Numbers</span> are 10 cents each, -subject to further advance -as the edition decreases.</p> - -<p class="noindent"><b>Numbers Issued:</b></p> - -<table> - <tr> - <td class="tdr"><i>I.</i></td> - <td><i>Lyrics from William Blake.</i></td> - </tr> - <tr> - <td class="tdr"><i>II.</i></td> - <td><i>Ballades from Francois Villon.</i></td> - </tr> - <tr> - <td class="tdr"><i>III.</i></td> - <td><i>Mediæval Latin Students’ Songs.</i></td> - </tr> - <tr> - <td class="tdr"><i>IV.</i></td> - <td><i>A Discourse of Marcus Aurelius.</i></td> - </tr> - <tr> - <td class="tdr"><i>V.</i></td> - <td><i>Fragments from Sappho.</i></td> - </tr> - <tr> - <td class="tdr"><i>VI.</i></td> - <td><i>Sonnets on English Dramatic Poets.</i></td> - </tr> - <tr> - <td class="tdr"><i>VII.</i></td> - <td><i>The Pathos of the Rose in Poetry.</i></td> - </tr> - <tr> - <td class="tdr"><i>VIII.</i></td> - <td><i>Lyrics from James Thomson (B. V.)</i></td> - </tr> - <tr> - <td class="tdr"><i>IX.</i></td> - <td><i>Hand and Soul: D. G. Rosetti.</i></td> - </tr> - <tr> - <td class="tdr"><i>X.</i></td> - <td><i>A Book of Airs from Campion, (October.)</i></td> - </tr> -</table> - -<p class="center">THOMAS B. MOSHER, Publisher,<br /> -Portland, Maine.</p> - -</div> - -<div class="boxdots"> - -<p class="noindent larger"><span class="u">LITTLE JOURNEYS</span></p> - -<p class="center">To the -Homes of Good Men and -Great.</p> - -<p><i>A series of literary studies published in monthly -numbers, tastefully printed on hand-made -paper, with attractive title-page.</i></p> - -<p class="center">By ELBERT HUBBARD</p> - -<div class="figleft"> -<img src="images/deco2.jpg" width="30" height="30" alt="" /> -</div> - -<p>The publishers announce that Little Journeys will -be issued monthly and that each number will treat of -recent visits made by Mr. Elbert Hubbard to the homes -and haunts of various eminent persons. The subjects for -the first twelve numbers have been arranged as follows:</p> - -<ul> -<li> 1. George Eliot</li> -<li> 2. Thomas Carlyle</li> -<li> 3. John Ruskin</li> -<li> 4. W. E. Gladstone</li> -<li> 5. J. M. W. Turner</li> -<li> 6. Jonathan Swift</li> -<li> 7. Victor Hugo</li> -<li> 8. Wm. Wordsworth</li> -<li> 9. W. M. Thackeray</li> -<li>10. Charles Dickens</li> -<li>11. Oliver Goldsmith</li> -<li>12. Shakespeare</li> -</ul> - -<p class="hanging"><i>LITTLE JOURNEYS:<br /> -Published Monthly, 50 cents a year. -Single copies, 5 cents, postage paid.</i></p> - -<p class="center">Published by G. P. PUTNAM’S SONS,</p> - -<p class="center">27 and 29 West 23d Street, New York.<br /> -24 Bedford Street, Strand, London.</p> - -</div> - -<div class="figcenter"> -<img src="images/deco1.jpg" width="30" height="30" alt="" /> -</div> - -<div class="chapter max30"> - -<div> -<img class="dropcap" src="images/dropcap-a.jpg" width="200" height="200" alt="" /> -</div> - -<h2 class="nobreak dropcap" id="AT_THIS_TIME_THE">AT THIS TIME THE -PROPRIETORS OF -THE ROYCROFT -PRINTING SHOP, at -East Aurora, New -York, announce the -publication about Christmas time of -an exquisite edition of the JOURNAL -OF KOHELETH, otherwise the -Book of Ecclesiastes, reparagraphed.</h2> - -<div class="blockquote"> - -<p>With a bit of an introduction by Mr. Elbert -Hubbard, whimsical, perhaps, but sincere, -wherein the rich quality of the text is commended -to those over thirty, and under: -with explanations, always reverent, that -may be useful.</p> - -</div> - -<div class="figcenter"> -<img src="images/deco4.jpg" width="30" height="30" alt="" /> -</div> - -<p><b>This book, printed by hand on Dickinson’s -hand made paper, will mark an era in the art -of printing in America. The edition, limited to -750 copies, will be bound in flexible Japan -vellum, wrapped and boxed. Each book numbered, -and signed by the editor.</b></p> - -<div class="figcenter"> -<img src="images/deco4.jpg" width="30" height="30" alt="" /> -</div> - -<p>Yes, do you send me a book for my birthday. -Not a bargain book, bought from a haberdasher, but -a beautiful book, a book to caress—peculiar, distinctive -and individual: a book that hath first caught -your eye and then pleased your fancy, written by an -author with a tender whim—all right out of his -heart. We will read it together in the gloaming, -and when the gathering dusk doth blur the page -we’ll sit with hearts too full for speech and think it -over.—<span class="smcap">Dorothy Wordsworth to Coleridge.</span></p> - -</div> - -<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop" /> - -<div class="chapter max30"> - -<div> -<img class="dropcap" src="images/dropcap-t2.jpg" width="50" height="60" alt="" /> -</div> - -<h1 class="nobreak dropcap">THE PHILISTINE. - <img class="inline" src="images/deco5.jpg" alt="" /> - <img class="inline" src="images/deco5.jpg" alt="" /> - <img class="inline" src="images/deco5.jpg" alt="" /></h1> - -<p class="center">Edited by H. P. TABER.</p> - -<hr /> - -<p class="center">THE ROYCROFT PRINTING SHOP,<br /> -East Aurora, New York,<br /> -Publishers.</p> - -<hr /> - -<p><span class="smcap">The Philistine</span> is published monthly at -$1 a year, 10 cents a single copy. Subscriptions -may be left with newsdealers or sent -direct to the publishers. The trade supplied -by the <span class="smcap">American News Company</span> and its -branches. Foreign agencies, <span class="smcap">Brentano’s</span>, 37 -Avenue de l’Opera, Paris; <span class="smcap">G. P. Putnam’s -Sons</span>, 24 Bedford street, Strand, London.</p> - -<p>Business communications should be addressed to -<span class="smcap">The Philistine</span>, East Aurora, New York. Matter -intended for publication may be sent to the same -address or to Box 6, Cambridge, Massachusetts.</p> - -<p class="center"><i>Entered at the Postoffice at East Aurora, New York, for transmission -as mail matter of the second class.</i></p> - -<p class="noindent"><i>COPYRIGHT, 1895, by H. P. Taber.</i></p> - -<hr /> - -<p><b>The Book Shop</b>, Rare Books, Garfield -Building, Bond street, Cleveland, Ohio.</p> - -<hr /> - -<p><b>George P. Humphrey</b>, Old Books, -Catalogues issued, 25 Exchange street, -Rochester, N. Y.</p> - -</div> - -<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop" /> - -<div class="chapter"> - -<p><span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_137"></a>[137]</span></p> - -<h2 class="nobreak">THE PHILISTINE.</h2> - -</div> - -<div class="subhead"> - -<p class="center"><span class="allsmcap">NO. 5.</span> <span class="spacer">October, 1895.</span> <span class="allsmcap">VOL. 1.</span></p> - -</div> - -<div class="chapter"> - -<h2 class="nobreak" id="RHADAMANTHINA_IVRA">RHADAMANTHINA IVRA.</h2> - -</div> - -<div class="blockquote"> - -<p class="center"><i>Castigat auditque dolos subigitque fateri.</i></p> - -</div> - -<div> -<img class="dropcap" src="images/dropcap-i.jpg" width="50" height="60" alt="" /> -</div> - -<p class="dropcap">It was the custom of the Roman <i>Prætor Urbanus</i> -when entering upon his duties to post up in plain -view of the public a brief exposition of the principles -which were to guide him in passing judgment during -his year of office. It seems fit that the <span class="smcap">Philistine</span> -should likewise issue its own EDICTVM PERPETVVM -setting forth the scope and ultimate purpose -of such literary criticisms as may appear from -time to time in its pages.</p> - -<p>It is offenders only who are to be deemed worthy -of Reviews in these columns and as the worst possible -offence of which they can be guilty, since it -includes all specific or lesser faults, is the bare fact -of their existence in type, it will be our aim to hold -up to the merited scorn of an outraged world the -responsible progenitors of such unblessed offspring, -the Publisher, and his partner in sin, the Author of -the book.</p> - -<p>In thus reversing that order in criminality which<span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_138"></a>[138]</span> -has hitherto obtained in the assizes of criticism we -are moved by the consideration among others: the -writing of any book, good or bad, is a matter of concern -to its author alone so long as it remains in manuscript. -Its merits or demerits have alike no existence -to the public; however shameless its morals, feeble -its plot or intolerable its dullness these are all equally -powerless for mischief so long as it has not been put -into type and launched upon a much suffering, helpless -world. Then its career of evil begins. For this -the Publisher is solely responsible; he and he alone -is able to remedy the abuses which have long been -calling out to heaven for suppression, by setting up -some sort of standard as to the minimum of those -defects which shall bar any manuscript whatever -from his favorable consideration. What this minimum -ought to be we shall take pleasure in enlightening -him from time to time in these pages.</p> - -<p>It may be urged that the weapon of scorn has been -used and abused time out of mind; we reply that the -objector is in error in one essential. The dart is an old -one indeed, but its point has been blunted, not in the -fattening tissues of this chief offender but on the -scantily clad bones of his weaker accomplice, the -much-abused author. In issuing an illegitimate book -the Author is the victim of the sweetest and most -pathetic fallacy known to men: <i>he believes his work is<span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_139"></a>[139]</span> -good</i>; while the publisher knows better. One is animated -by love and nature, the other has only a lust -for dollars. In such offenses as we are discussing, -no less than in certain others needing no more explicit -designation, it is not the deed itself but its exposure -which calls forth the protests of a PHILISTINE -public. Those Little Sisters in Sin, <i>A Superfluous -Woman</i> and <i>Bessie Costrell</i> might have faded -to oblivion in their swaddling clothes had no publisher -been found to expose them to daylight.</p> - -<p>It will be understood therefore that our column of -Reviews exists, not to aid struggling authors or enterprising -publishers to launch their craft upon the -already crowded ocean of Literature, but as the Pillory -where manifest culprits are exposed to the jibes -of the crowd, to the end that others who are meditating -like deeds may be warned by such penalty to -desist. Nor need the idle stocks ever yawn in emptiness -so long as upon his right hand and his left a -man beholds such a richness of backs itching for the -lash.</p> - -<p>And since we have promised that instruction shall -go hand in hand with castigation we will not -close until we have pointed out for the future guidance -of those who may wish to avoid one at least of -the many by-paths of reprobation, that in any novel -we regard the existence of page Four Hundred of<span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_140"></a>[140]</span> -readable type as confession on the part of both Publisher -and Author that neither of them has yet learned -the foremost and greatest of the arts of their trade—the -art to blot.</p> - -<p><i>De confessis sicuti de manifestis—supplicium sumendum -est.</i></p> - -<h3>A TRINITY OF OFFENDERS.</h3> - -<div class="blockquote"> - -<p>1. THE LAND OF THE SUN, <i>a third rate -guide-book to Mexico, and incidentally a Touter for -one of its Railways</i>; by Christian Reid, a woman who -once wrote a good novel, superfluously illustrated, -12mo. cloth, pp. 355. D. Appleton & Co., N. Y., -$1.75.</p> - -<p>2. LOVE IN IDLENESS, by F. Marion Crawford, -author of ETC., <i>etc.</i>, & etc., absurdly illustrated, -crown 8vo., cloth, gilt-edge, pp. 218. Macmillan & -Co., N. Y., $2.00.</p> - -<p>3. ADVICE TO LITERARY ASPIRANTS—<i>One -Hundred Ways to Become Famous for One Dollar</i>, -by Mr. Arthur Lewis, illustrated, 12mo., pp. 247. -Dodd, Rott & Co., N. Y., $1.00.</p> - -</div> - -<p>1. We are but too familiar, all of us, with the -devices of the quack-medicine advertiser, his trick of -getting us to read his puff in spite of ourselves. It is -an old yet still successful dodge. The first sentence in -a column of the morning paper promises a little ten -minute romance. As we proceed our interest quickens. -We inadvertently glance to the end to learn whether<span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_141"></a>[141]</span> -the hero is destined to the rope or the heroine reserved -for the altar. There stands forth the mark of -the Beast, “<i>Butcher’s Bilious Bouncer</i>, sure cure for -the Liver, price ten cents.” According as nature -has allied us to Democritus or to Archilochus we -laugh or swear at our gullibility while we turn to -some other item, but if fair-minded men we do not -swear at the editor, for we know that he lives by letting -for hire his numberless columns with no restriction -on his advertisers save that their matter does not -exclude his paper from the United States Mail.</p> - -<p>It is far different, however, when trusting in -an author’s name or at least in the imprint of a -publisher of high standing, a man takes up a book -which he has bought in the expectation of finding it -a readable or at all events a genuine novel, but soon -discovers it to be a string of sausages, whose thin -membrane of such romance as it does afford exists -merely to encase a solid stuffing of railroad advertisements, -“scenic route” business and such secondhand -truck. Yet of such is the <i>Land of the Sun</i>. Before -reading it myself I tendered it to a friend in -answer to his request for the latest novel. A few days -after, he returned it saying, “It opens more like an -advertisement of the Bullseye Parlor Car Company.”</p> - -<p>Now it so happens that the people who made the -book are also publishers of guide-books and among<span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_142"></a>[142]</span> -these of a guide-book to Mexico, <i>eo nomine</i>, it had -been fitter and more worthy their own high standing -had they not stooped to palm off such a farrago upon -a man whose thoughts at the time were not how to -get to Mexico nor what could be seen if he went -there, but simply the means of beguiling an evening, -lolling at ease in his smoking jacket.</p> - -<p>As to the lady who was once equal to writing <i>The -Land of the Sky</i>, one feels sorrow at her fall, and -cannot help wondering if sin of this sort yields her -either profit or pleasure.</p> - -<p>2. If a reader were asked to single out some one -publisher whose name should be guarantee that in -buying a book one would get fair equivalent for his -money, not in paper and ink alone, but in the stuff -of its ideas, he would not often go amiss were he to -name Macmillans. It is with double pain therefore -that he resents being led astray into paying Two Dollars -for such a trifling effusion as <i>Love in Idleness</i>. He -is hurt not only by the one and one-half dollars lost -in excess of any just valuation of the book, but also -and perhaps by a less reparable loss of the confidence -long deserved by the class of Macmillan publications. -In short he feels that both publisher and writer have -conspired to cinch him and the rest of the reading -public, and here, too, the heavier share of the reproach -must fall upon the man. If Mr. Marion<span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_143"></a>[143]</span> -Crawford, pluming himself upon such past achievements -as <i>Mr. Isaacs</i>, chooses to value the weakling -of his decadence at such extravagant figures that it -must be listed at Two Dollars if it is to appear in -decent type, there is surely no need that his accomplice -be Macmillan. Doubtless there be publishers -whose horns would be exalted were Crawford’s -name to shine upon their title pages, but Macmillan -is not of such cattle; he stands among the very topmost -already, wherefore he should be above impostures.</p> - -<p>The book is freely illustrated, but the pictures -have nothing to do with the persons and incidents -of the story.</p> - -<p>3. As the editor of the Only Real Sure-Enough -<i>Chip-Munk</i> so truthfully points out in his every issue, -man is an imitative animal. But whether it is equally -true that there are hundreds and hundreds of imitation -chip-munks, all made like those calico cats that -do duty as bric-a-brac, I cannot say. Yet the undisputed -statement, made in such a solemn way, that man -is imitative, must stand.</p> - -<p>On ascending a certain beautiful little bay along -the coast of Maine, the traveller is confronted by the -startling legend, painted on the face of a great palisade: -<i>This is Belfast, the Home of Gringo’s Vermifuge—One -Hundred Doses for One Dollar</i>.</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_144"></a>[144]</span></p> - -<p>And to-day at Franklin, Ohio, as the train stops at -the water tank one sees in the pasture opposite, an -immense bill board, and on the board in gigantic letters -are the words: <i>This is Franklin, the Home of -Jingo’s Advice to Authors—One Hundred Places to -sell Manuscript, One Dollar</i>.</p> - -<p>That a place is needed to sell manuscript I will -admit—in fact I am looking for such a place, but I -only require <i>one</i> place, not a hundred. So I am suspicious -of Mr. Jingo: I think that he offers just -ninety-nine times more than is meet, and so I turn to -Mr. Arthur Lewis of Albany, who has in the press a -book with a title suspiciously like the Ohio publication. -It is called <i>Advice to Literary Aspirants—One -Hundred Ways to Become Famous for One Dollar</i>. -Advance sheets of this work show that the author -has expended considerable care on it. He marshals -statistics to show that only one out of 97,621 of the -men who write books ever secure even a tuppence -worth of fame. In fact he proves that fame and -good writing have no more to do with each other -than Art and Truth, Virtue and Profession, Marriage -and Constancy. He therefore concludes that the -Literary Aspirant should secure his Fame first and -launch his Literature afterward, and in this way take -the tide at its flood and move on to fortune. To this -end the gifted author gives one hundred ways of securing<span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_145"></a>[145]</span> -fame. He starts with Homicide and runs -through to Arson and Bridge Jumping, giving incidentally -fourteen different kinds of Scandal and how -to bring it about.</p> - -<p>In my own mind I have always made a distinction -between illustrious men, famous men and notorious -men, but Mr. Lewis avers that in our day and generation -such fine shades are all obliterated by the bright -iridescence of the standard dollar. An author, he -says, succeeds only as his books sell, and if his name -is on the lips of rumor, women especially will besiege -the stores and demand his tomes.</p> - -<p>Now we must admit that the fine sophistry that Mr. -Lewis brings to bear is interesting, but is it Art? -Further than this, does it fill a vacuum in the great -economic cosmos of Letters? I do not think that it -does, and therefore do not hesitate to flatly give it -as my opinion that while the author is sincere, -the publishers are moved by no other motive than to -secure the money of ambitious young men and -women, having first victimized Mr. Lewis for the -cost of plates and the first edition. That the work, -like all skillful sophistry, is inspiring to the young, -there is no doubt, but the final effect of the book on -society I believe will be damaging, and therefore I -cannot conscientiously recommend it.</p> - -<div class="figcenter"> -<img src="images/deco1.jpg" width="30" height="30" alt="" /> -</div> - -<div class="chapter"> - -<p><span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_146"></a>[146]</span></p> - -<h2 class="nobreak" id="A_JOURNALISTIC_NOTE">A JOURNALISTIC NOTE.</h2> - -</div> - -<div> -<img class="dropcap" src="images/dropcap-o.jpg" width="50" height="60" alt="" /> -</div> - -<p class="dropcap">Our valued co-worker in the vineyard, the Rev. -George H. Hepworth, has begun to cast his -Sunday <i>Herald</i> sermons in the first person singular -and affix his distinguished name thereto. If this will -make these sermons no better it will at least make -them no worse.</p> - -<p>As long-time admirers of these admirable Sabbath -sermocinations <span class="smcap">The Philistine</span> welcomes this innovation. -And we think we know the wherefore of it. -The Rev. Mr. Hepworth’s name attached to an article -denunciatory of sin will have a tendency to strike -terror into the heart of Beelzebub, and it was for this -reason, no doubt, that Mr. Bennett directed Brother -Hepworth to take the field in person.</p> - -<p>Unquestionably this will add a new and livelier -interest to the church. Each combatant knows -exactly whom he is fighting. It is now Hepworth -against Satan with a fair field and no favor. We -have no hesitancy in saying that so far as Mr. Hepworth -is concerned there will be no <i>Valkyrie</i> business. -Moreover there is no desire to shirk responsibility. -What he has to say he will say fearlessly over his -own signature, and if those against whom these ecclesiastical -thunderbolts are launched do not like them -they know what they can do. Wot t’ell!</p> - -<p class="right"><span class="smcap">Robert W. Criswell.</span></p> - -<div class="figcenter"> -<img src="images/deco1.jpg" width="30" height="30" alt="" /> -</div> - -<div class="chapter"> - -<p><span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_147"></a>[147]</span></p> - -<h2 class="nobreak" id="De_mortuis_nil_nisi_bonum">“<i>De mortuis nil nisi bonum.</i>”</h2> - -</div> - -<div class="poetry-container"> -<div class="poetry"> - <div class="stanza"> - <div class="verse indent0">“Speak no evil of the dead:”</div> - <div class="verse indent2">Standard story that of Cain;</div> - <div class="verse indent0">Sence his vitle spark has fled,</div> - <div class="verse indent2">Dast a soul of him complain?</div> - <div class="verse indent0">Did his brother mortle harm,</div> - <div class="verse indent2">Lied about the thing, to God;</div> - <div class="verse indent0">His’n the fust abandoned farm;</div> - <div class="verse indent2">Skipped to Canady or Nod.</div> - <div class="verse indent0">Like some latter-day ex-gent,</div> - <div class="verse indent0">Sorry—for his punishment.</div> - </div> - <div class="stanza"> - <div class="verse indent0">Judas did a traitor’s deed,</div> - <div class="verse indent2">’Scuse, I beg, the mention here,</div> - <div class="verse indent0">Bein’ his life has gone to seed</div> - <div class="verse indent2">(Scattered far and wide, I fear),</div> - <div class="verse indent0">Of him may no ill be sayed,</div> - <div class="verse indent2">Though this miscreant for gain</div> - <div class="verse indent0">The one perfec’ Man betrayed</div> - <div class="verse indent2">To be crucified and slain:</div> - <div class="verse indent0">Went and killed hisself withal—</div> - <div class="verse indent0">After readin’ Ingersoll.</div> - </div> - <div class="stanza"> - <div class="verse indent0">Stay! That max’m mayn’t be true;</div> - <div class="verse indent2">In old heathen Rome ’twas bred;</div> - <div class="verse indent0">Livin’ men should have in view</div> - <div class="verse indent2">What’s the status of ’em dead.</div> - <div class="verse indent0">Conduc’ stands—time don’t forswear’t—</div> - <div class="verse indent2">Even to a lord’s disgrace,</div> - <div class="verse indent0">When with Cain and Judas Scairt</div> - <div class="verse indent2">He has went ter his own place.</div> - <div class="verse indent0">Cains and Judases, don’t guess</div> - <div class="verse indent0">Death will make you a success.</div> - </div> - <div class="stanza"> - <div class="verse right"><span class="smcap">L. S. Goodwin.</span></div> - </div> -</div> -</div> - -<div class="figcenter"> -<img src="images/deco1.jpg" width="30" height="30" alt="" /> -</div> - -<p><span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_148"></a>[148]</span></p> - -<div class="figleft"> -<img src="images/deco3.jpg" width="170" height="100" alt="" /> -</div> - -<div class="chapter"> - -<h2 class="nobreak hanging allsmcap" id="SIDE_TALKS_WITH_THE_PHILISTINES">SIDE TALKS WITH THE PHILISTINES: -BEING SUNDRY BITS OF -WISDOM WHICH HAVE BEEN -HERETOFORE SECRETED, AND ARE NOW -SET FORTH IN PRINT.</h2> - -</div> - -<p><img class="inline" src="images/deco1.jpg" alt="" /> If <span class="smcap">The Philistine</span> disturbs placid self-complacency -anywhere, as one or two of its critics intimate, it is -sorry, for there is no such happiness attainable anywhere -this side of Nirvana as its serene contemplation -of the charms of self which Narcissus and some -more modern fakirs exemplify; and the magazine of -to-day is its gospel. But so good a Philistine as -Horace Greeley is my authority for believing that the -still pool in which self-love sees the reflection it feeds -upon is a breeder of death, not life, and effervescence is -the sworn foe of the morbid. Not the things we do -that we ought not to do, but the things left undone -that we ought to do are the primary count leading -up to the confession that “there is no health in us.” -The other follows. Stagnation and the miasma of -self-consciousness co-exist and are not to be separated. -Wherefore, fellow-egoists, let us get a gait -on.</p> - -<p><img class="inline" src="images/deco1.jpg" alt="" /> I like the broad flourish with which some imaginative -writers connect widely separated events in a -stroke of the pen and omit all that lies between as<span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_149"></a>[149]</span> -mere incident. It seems to me a proof of the theory -put forward by my good friend Elbert Hubbard that -genius is a feminine element of character—in man or -woman. For example, I find this statement in the -latest of the <i>Little Journeys</i>: “Moses was sent -adrift, but the tide carried him into power.” I didn’t -know just what that meant till I recalled the discovery -of the bulrush cradle. A less intuitive writer -wouldn’t have bridged eighty years in that summary -way. He might have hinted at Moses’s police court -record—told how he killed an Egyptian for calling -him a son of a Populist or something and skun out -for half a lifetime and yet became a Prince of Egypt -and spent forty years or so at court before he took -the road with the forefathers of Brickmaker Tourgee. -But to connect the condensed milk baby in the market -basket on the Nile with the law-giver of Israel in -one movement, as the music people say, is a pretty -long span and suggests the liberty David Copperfield -takes with his own biography in the best book but -one written by the subject of the latest <i>Little Journey</i>. -“I was born:” he says—and all else is irrelevant. -I take it that Mr. Hubbard agrees with John -Boyle O’Reilly that “the world was made when a -man was born.” The feminine element of genius -which Mr. Hubbard tells us makes poets is manifest -in that formula. If the author of the <i>Journeys</i> will<span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_150"></a>[150]</span> -permit, I would suggest that the same mother instinct -that crops out there is manifested in the grasp of a -life in the compass of a sentence which puzzled me at -the first. To be born and to die is the record of -existence, to which all else is tributary; and the -pangs of birth and death thrill all the poet-strains. -Only the tragedy that sweeps along the strings lives -to echo in human hearts. It is the deathless minor -chord that distinguishes the melody of true poetry -from the dancing cadences of rhyme in all literature. -The undertone is the soul of all song, in verse or in -the unmeasured periods of epic prose.</p> - -<p><img class="inline" src="images/deco1.jpg" alt="" /> Mention of Moses recalls the perhaps unique fact -that a priest of the most austere of churches rolled -off a tongue, musical with brogue, in his newspaper -sanctum—for he is a priest of the pen too—this romantic -version of the basket story which I have -never seen anywhere but in his paper—then in the -process of make-up:</p> - -<div class="poetry-container"> -<div class="poetry"> - <div class="stanza"> - <div class="verse indent0">On Egypt’s banks, convaynient to the Nile,</div> - <div class="verse indent0">Great Pharaoh’s daughter went to bathe in shtyle,</div> - <div class="verse indent0">And shtooping down, as everyone supposes</div> - <div class="verse indent0">To scratch her shin, she shpied the infant Moses:</div> - <div class="verse indent0">Then turning to her maids, in accents wild</div> - <div class="verse indent0">Cried: “Tare an’ ’ouns, girls, which o’ yes owns the chyild?”</div> - </div> -</div> -</div> - -<p><img class="inline" src="images/deco1.jpg" alt="" /> I observe that the editor of the <i>Arena</i> is about to -make a contract with the Michigan Wheel Company<span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_151"></a>[151]</span> -of Lansing, Michigan, for large quantities of its product -to give as prizes to new contributors only, the -old ones being already well supplied.</p> - -<p><img class="inline" src="images/deco1.jpg" alt="" /> The following advertisement is clipped from one of -the October magazines:</p> - -<div class="blockquote"> - -<p class="center">MANUSCRIPT RECORD.</p> - -<p>A handsome method for keeping track of manuscripts. -Contains space for recording one hundred -manuscripts, showing title, where sent, number of -words, when returned or accepted, when paid for -and amount, when published, postage account, etc. -Each page a complete history of one manuscript, -from the time it is first sent out, until published and -paid for. Price, $1.25. Sent postpaid to any address -on receipt of price.</p> - -<p class="center"><span class="smcap">The Bohemian Publishing Co.</span>,<br /> -Pike Building, Cincinnati, O.</p> - -</div> - -<p>I have sent for this book, as it is my intention to -write one hundred manuscripts, and I desire to keep -track of them until published and paid for. I have -therefore ordered the book bound in cast iron.</p> - -<p><img class="inline" src="images/deco1.jpg" alt="" /> In a recent number of <i>Modern Art</i> protest is filed -against the editor of the <i>Chip-Munk</i> continuing to -ask that startling question “Do You Keep a Dog?” -In God’s name, what right have the Chicago Decadents -to thus pry into our private affairs? Is it not -bad enough when the <i>Chip-Munk</i> advises us to drink -Guzzle’s beer and use Culby’s soap without being -interrogated as to what we “keep?”</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_152"></a>[152]</span></p> - -<p><img class="inline" src="images/deco1.jpg" alt="" /> Among the revivals which occur now and then in -everything is a discussion of an old “science” of -reading characters by the hair. I don’t know much -about it, but from what I have heard I believe a pair -of old she-bears set back the theory for a few centuries -when they chewed up the small boys that -poked fun at Elijah. The old man would be rated -as having no character, according to these “readers,” -for he had no hair, but Providence and the early -Ursulines vindicated him.</p> - -<p><img class="inline" src="images/deco1.jpg" alt="" /> A new woman who has been reading <i>God’s Fool</i> -laid it down at the last chapter with a long sigh. -“What do you think of it,” I asked. “It is dramatic,” -she said, “terribly dramatic at the end,” -and then added, after a pause, “I wonder what the -reading of the next generation will be like. We -have reached a force and directness of narration that -seems to me to be pretty near the limit of possibility. -What will we have next?” “What do you think?” -I asked. “I think,” she said, “we will have a reaction. -We will take in more and give out less. -We are near one of the great periods of what has -been called revelation in the past. Our literature is -shallow but perfect, relatively, in expression. Our -art is the same throughout. Our politics are personal. -Our religion is liberal, and loose in the joints. Our -social life is insincere and imitative. Our lives have<span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_153"></a>[153]</span> -nothing in them to stir the deeps. There will be a -reaction. The finesse of expression will be set aside -for the tremendous earnestness that accompanies great -events and prints their lessons on receptive minds. -A break-up in Europe it may be, or some other social -convulsion, that will change the tide. We are pretty -near at the top of the flood now.” That’s the new -woman’s view. I wonder how near she’s right?</p> - -<p><img class="inline" src="images/deco1.jpg" alt="" /> Three hundred and twenty-seven thousand of my -friends have individually sent to me a recent number -of my Philadelphia contemporary, <i>Footlights</i>, in which -it refers to <span class="smcap">The Philistine</span> variously as a crow, a -dicky bird and “a birdie of the jackass breed.” I -am glad to be catalogued in this ornithological manner, -and my friends may accept the listing as they -please. As for myself, I’d rather be a good honest -wild ass of the desert with long fuzzy ears than a poor -imitation bird-of-paradise—stuffed by one hundred -and seventeen geniuses.</p> - -<p><img class="inline" src="images/deco1.jpg" alt="" /> A matter of architecture has been involved in the -social problem which the <i>Arena</i> has ever with it—like -a stutter or a beer breath. According to an alleged -novel recently published by the Arena Company -and called <i>Edith, a Story of Chinatown</i>, a feature -of the tabooed district of Los Angeles, California, -is a bay window projection on the houses devoted to<span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_154"></a>[154]</span> -vice, wherein beauty spreads lures for the eyes of -passers-by. The heroine of this lovely romance is -one of these persons, sinned against in the prologue -and sinning in the present, but discovered by a miraculous -New York reporter on a vacation and returned -to her broken-hearted parents and a good life. -A benediction, with a remote hint of the Lohengrin -march, ends the story. The <i>Arena</i> gives two pages -to a review of the book, which is very kind of the -publisher, and tells us therein that a description of -Alameda street and of Dupont street, San Francisco, -which is worse, is its purpose. The <i>Arena</i> can be -depended on for a full stock of “terrible examples.”</p> - -<p><img class="inline" src="images/deco1.jpg" alt="" /> The <i>Literary Digest</i> is falling into line admirably. -Recently it printed a translation from some French -source from which I clip the following:</p> - -<div class="blockquote"> - -<p>A Parisian literary man has been complaining that -authors are not represented at international expositions -in the same sense as are painters and sculptors. -The complaint has provoked sarcastic comment from -M. Maurice Goncourt, who, in <i>Charivari</i> (Paris), -suggests that, since an exhibition of their works -would not be sufficiently striking, the authors themselves -should be put on show in cages!</p> - -<p>“All the writers who are at present the incontestable -masters of romance and journalism will transport, -during the period of the Exposition, their working -rooms to a section specially provided for them.</p> - -<p>“The public will see them there as they really are<span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_155"></a>[155]</span> -at home, surrounded with their furniture, their books, -all their accessories, and in working costume.</p> - -<p>“From such an hour to such an hour—as at home—they -will work on their articles, poems, or novels.</p> - -<p>“That would draw a crowd; that would be truly -interesting!</p> - -<p>“They could be looked at through a sheet of glass -or a lattice—silently, so as not to interfere with their -inspiration.</p> - -<p>“The administration could even put up signs like -this:</p> - -<p class="center">PLEASE THROW NOTHING TO THE POETS,</p> - -<p class="noindent">or—more particularly for the pretty visitors:</p> - -<p class="center">DON’T EXCITE THE PSYCHOLOGISTS.</p> - -</div> - -<p>All this sounds much as though it had been written -by the keeper of <i>The Literary Shop</i>, but I don’t believe -it was. Supposing, however, such an exhibit -were held at Atlanta with the Fair now in progress. -Imagine Mr. Gilder and James Knapp Reeve, Mr. -Le Gallienne and Laura Jean Libbey, Count Tolstoi -and Mrs. Mary Jane Holmes, each in his or her own -coop like a Leghorn chicken! Imagine Colonel S. -S. McClure (Limited) with his Menagerie of Trained -Thoroughbreds, each one of them exhibiting by his -emaciation the horrible results of syndicate writing! -Imagine Cy Warman pawing madly at the bars of his -cage trying to tell Sweet Marie about the secret in -his heart! Then imagine Little Tin God of Philadelphia,<span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_156"></a>[156]</span> -cuddled up in his basket, writing his masterpiece, -<i>How to Feed a Sick Kitten!</i> To them then -would enter Major John Boyd Thacher, the pride and -joy of the Albany Democracy, and judge equally both -the just and the unjust. It’s a great idea.</p> - -<p><img class="inline" src="images/deco1.jpg" alt="" /> One of my correspondents tells me that “the editor -of the <i>Lark</i> uses execrable perfume on his note -paper.” This item is for the future reference of Mr. -Burgess when he writes about his literary passions.</p> - -<p><img class="inline" src="images/deco1.jpg" alt="" /> Several solemn newspapers have taken seriously to -the extent of half a column or so the proposal of a -San Francisco publishing house to “bring out good -literature in a cheap form,” which sounds much like -the advance agent talk of most publishing houses. It -isn’t a joke, to be sure, but a good deal depends on -what is meant by “good literature.” Thundering -in the prologue is not a novelty, but there may be a -storm coming for all that.</p> - -<p><img class="inline" src="images/deco1.jpg" alt="" /> I note that the brilliant Bok has gone to writing -proverbs. Here is one culled at random from “A -Handful of Laconics,” printed under his honored signature -in his September output:</p> - -<div class="blockquote"> - -<p>It is singular and yet a fact that what we are most -loath to believe possessed by others is what we are -incapable of ourselves.</p> - -</div> - -<p>It is my wish to call the particular attention of my<span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_157"></a>[157]</span> -readers to this nugget. From a literary and philosophic -standpoint literature contains nothing like it. -Examine Rochefoucauld, Montaigne, Plutarch, Pliny -the Elder, Pliny the Younger or Solomon, and you -will not find its fellow. Read it again, and read it -slowly: “It-is-singular-yet-a-fact-that-what-we-are-most-loath-to-believe-possessed-by-others-is-what-we-are-incapable-of-ourselves.” -This is undoubtedly the -finest thing in the language and a reward of one -million dollars will be paid to any <span class="smcap">Philistine</span> who -will furnish the solution. There is no bar against -reading it backwards. It reads a little better backwards -than forwards, but I do not think that is it.</p> - -<p><img class="inline" src="images/deco1.jpg" alt="" /> I desire to record a discovery. I found a magazine -the other day with the advertising pages uncut.</p> - -<p><img class="inline" src="images/deco1.jpg" alt="" /> I doubt if Bliss Carman has had a more enthusiastic -admirer than I. When his <i>Vagabondia</i> appeared I -sent a copy to Her, which was the greatest compliment -I could pay the book. In the magazines, notably -in <i>Town Topics</i>, he has printed verses that were -well worth preserving as some of the best of the -decade. In the great mass, however, which he has -published, there have been lines which nobody on -earth could understand. They were worse than -Stephen Crane’s, for he at least has a vague idea -somewhere, though he rarely does us the favor to<span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_158"></a>[158]</span> -express it in a seemly manner. Now I want to protest, -not only against Mr. Carman, but against <i>Life</i>, -which gave us <i>The Whale and the Sprat</i> which Mr. -Carman wrote recently. Here are two of the stanzas:</p> - -<div class="poetry-container"> -<div class="poetry"> - <div class="stanza"> - <div class="verse indent0">My dear Mr. Sprat,</div> - <div class="verse indent0">I really am grat-</div> - <div class="verse indent2">Ified at your offer.</div> - <div class="verse indent0">So down they both sat.</div> - </div> - <div class="stanza"> - <div class="verse indent0">Said the Sprat to the Whale,</div> - <div class="verse indent0">I admire your tail;</div> - <div class="verse indent2">I should think it would be</div> - <div class="verse indent0">Of great use in a gale.</div> - </div> -</div> -</div> - -<p>How Mr. Metcalfe ever allowed such drivel to get -into his columns I cannot understand. Possibly -while he was in Japan the compositor set the stuff in -the waste basket instead of that on the copy hook.</p> - -<p><img class="inline" src="images/deco1.jpg" alt="" /> <i>Vogue</i> asserts that “thou shalt not covet thy neighbor’s -wife” is the ninth commandment. On information -and belief, no doubt.</p> - -<p><img class="inline" src="images/deco1.jpg" alt="" /> Because Mr. Rockefeller sneers at Mr. Pullman -for giving but a paltry hundred thousand for a church -at Albion, Orleans County, New York, Mr. Pullman -retorts that Rockefeller is only a malmsey-nosed -varlet anyway, whose grease his axles are not worthy -to unloose. I am not quite ready to take George M. -into the Philistinic fold, but he is surely coming my -way.</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_159"></a>[159]</span></p> - -<p><img class="inline" src="images/deco1.jpg" alt="" /> I rejoice to find a thoughtful article by Richard -Burton on the “Renascence of Old English Expression” -in the current <i>Forum</i>—and not so much for what -is in the article in detail as for its recognition of the -main fact that there is something besides Bunthornism -in the harking back to the simple dignity of early -English. Our author, it will be noted, has little use -for the overflowing maimed vowels of Normanesque -“Renaissance.” Plain Latin renascence is good -enough in a plea for the Saxon. But it is odd if so -simple a thing as a rising from death into new life -has no Saxon equivalent. Why not “re birth!”</p> - -<p><img class="inline" src="images/deco1.jpg" alt="" /> Since the Mule-Spinners at Cohoes and Fall River -went out on a strike I understand that subscriptions -to <i>The Writer</i> have fallen off one-third.</p> - -<p><img class="inline" src="images/deco1.jpg" alt="" /> Neith Boyce is a poet who never beats the brush -piles of thought without starting good game. She -writes good honest verse and she also writes “Book -Notes and News” and other things for the <i>New -Cycle</i>. The <i>New Cycle</i>, by the way, is not published -by the Pope Manufacturing Company as one might -suppose, but it is a monthly magazine “devoted to -Education, Social Economics, Literature and Art.” I -once edited a magazine devoted to Education, but the -subject proved too large for the brainful syndicate -that employed me; I have also written a book on<span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_160"></a>[160]</span> -Art; and once, having nothing to do, I lectured for a -space on Social Economics, but God help me! I -never in a small monthly magazine attempted to tell -all about Education, Social Economics, Literature -<i>and</i> Art.</p> - -<p>But the <i>New Cycle</i> is interesting, and if its various -departments were as well cared for as its Book Notes -and News it would be a greater success than it is. -Neith Boyce has an unfailing insight and her touch is -as light and as sure as my own; and moreover -there is a tang to her wit that all bookish Philistines -might well cultivate. In classic lore I have -always looked up to Miss Boyce as the Court of last -Appeal, but is it not possible that Minerva sometimes -nods? Read this:</p> - -<div class="blockquote"> - -<p>“An attraction of the eminently respectable <i>Harper’s -Weekly</i> will be a series of papers called ‘A -Houseboat on the Styx’ by Mr. Bangs of Yonkers. -Nothing is sacred to this funny man. Not content -with taking his fling at the defunct majesty of Napoleon -he now proposes to take Pluto by the beard -and make copy of the pale shadows that throng the -Stygian shores.”</p> -</div> - -<p>It may be so, but I did not know that Pluto had -whiskers. And how does Miss Boyce dispose of the -legend concerning the smooth face and giddy ways -of old Mr. Pluto when he took to wife the young and -blooming Persephone? Charon wears a Vandyke as<span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_161"></a>[161]</span> -we well know; while Mephisto is usually represented -as clean-shaved or at best a moustache and goatee; -but hereafter I’ll never think of Pluto without calling -up in mind Mr. Peffer of Kansas. Go to, Fair -Lady! think you because barber shops are closed in -York State on Sundays that they are shut in Hades -all the week? Next!</p> - -<p><img class="inline" src="images/deco1.jpg" alt="" /> A lecturer on Egypt, telling the natives of Buffalo, -N. Y., about the marvels in stone built on that strip -of mud, illustrated the proportions of the Nile Valley -by saying “It it eleven hundred miles long in Egypt -proper and seven miles wide for most of its length. -If the city of Buffalo were laid crosswise in the -valley, it would bisect the kingdom.” And a Rochester -man who had strayed into the fold was mean -enough to add: “And if Buffalo was there, that’s -the way it would lie—cross-ways.” That’s the way -they talk in Rochester.</p> - -<p><img class="inline" src="images/deco1.jpg" alt="" /> I quote this paragraph from <i>Alice</i> and respectfully -refer it to the editor of <i>Mlle New York</i> with the hope -that he can see the point as plainly as he sees most -things:</p> - -<div class="blockquote"> - -<p>All this time the Guard was looking at her, first -through a telescope, then through a microscope, and -then through an opera glass. At last he said, -“You’re travelling the wrong way,” and shut up the -window and went away.</p> - -</div> - -<p><span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_162"></a>[162]</span></p> - -<p><img class="inline" src="images/deco1.jpg" alt="" /> On his way to Montreal Mr. Hall Caine stopped -off one day at East Aurora. The Pink Tea given in -his honor at the office of <span class="smcap">The Philistine</span> was largely -attended by the farmers from both up the creek and -down the creek. In fact, as my old friend Billy McGlory -used to say, “Ye cudden’t see de street fer -dust.”</p> - -<p><img class="inline" src="images/deco1.jpg" alt="" /> The Boston <i>Commonwealth</i> (what satire there is in -that name!) is a nice paper, but its editor has not -smiled for forty years; and all of his little writers -carry so much culture that they are round-shouldered, -flat-chested, bow-legged and near-sighted. -They belong to the large class that invariably miss -the point of things and use dignity for a mask to hide -their lack of a sense of fun. The <i>Commonwealth</i> accuses -us of being envious of the <i>Chip-Munk</i>; of -being violently prejudiced against Mr. Cudahy’s -book, and of speaking irreverently of Boston. Go to -thou old granny <i>Commonwealth</i>, why sit you like your -grandsire carved in alabaster and creep into the -jaundice by being peevish?</p> - -<p><img class="inline" src="images/deco1.jpg" alt="" /> The <i>Book-Peddler</i> is doing great service in promotion -of what passes for literature in the paper and -ink stores. I cannot but think what a similar publication -devoted to literature, not trade, could do to -save the valuable time of the reading public. Since<span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_163"></a>[163]</span> -Solomon’s time a good many things have changed, -but in one there is no improvement. “Of the making -of many books there is no end,” and that is a -heap sadder than the lamentation of Maud Muller -and His Honor.</p> - -<p><img class="inline" src="images/deco1.jpg" alt="" /> Concerning Mr. Grant Allen’s book and the manner -in which its title has been made the basis of several -others more or less reminiscent, my most valued -correspondent writes me that the novelists are missing -much by not calling a story <i>The Woman Who Is -Simply Dying To</i>. In my well known philanthropic -way I throw out this suggestion hoping that somebody -may make many dollars by the adoption of the -title for a decadent tale.</p> - -<p><img class="inline" src="images/deco1.jpg" alt="" /> The Vanastorbilts are really under great obligations -to Mrs. Rorer’s <i>Household News</i> for the simple daily -menus for poor folks which are a feature. There’s -nothing so cheap as good living—in a magazine. -When bread sticks and banana chutney and peaches -and rice and cantaloupe can be mowed away -by a poor man before the seven o’clock whistle blows -no hard worker ought to lack muscle for his daily -toil. We have printed assurance of Mrs. Bellow -that “These menus have been arranged on a scientific -plan, are thoroughly hygienic, and contain all -that is necessary for proper living.” It is luck after<span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_164"></a>[164]</span> -all that man does not live by bread alone, but by -every word that proceedeth out of the hygienic mouth -aforesaid.</p> - -<p><img class="inline" src="images/deco1.jpg" alt="" /> Messrs. Lo & Behold, publishers of works on moral -pathology, Boston, are making great efforts to club -the <i>Arena</i>. I understand they propose offering season -tickets to museums of morbid anatomy as prizes.</p> - -<p><img class="inline" src="images/deco1.jpg" alt="" /> I note a somewhat guarded statement by Dr. Swan -M. Burnett denying that he and his wife have separated -or are undergoing that mutually humiliating -process. All there is of it, he says, is that her work -keeps her abroad and his keeps him in Washington. -The doctor’s friends say, however, that the doctor -and the writist live apart and have done so for years -and that he is tired of being referred to as Mrs. Frances -Hodgson Burnett’s husband. I think more likely -he objects to being identified at the banks and elsewhere -as the father of Little Lord Fauntleroy.</p> - -<p><img class="inline" src="images/deco1.jpg" alt="" /> The <i>Pell Mell Gazette</i> of last Saturday contains a -cablegram from Mr. Hall Caine, dated at East Aurora, -N. Y., wherein the author of <i>The Manxman</i> -reports that the prospect for next year’s crop of ginger -is very promising.</p> - -<p><img class="inline" src="images/deco1.jpg" alt="" /> I suppose it’s all right for the publisher of <i>Munsey’s</i> -to tell how he made that magazine jump from 20,000 -to half a million copies a month by shutting out middlemen<span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_165"></a>[165]</span> -and reaching the hungering and thirsting -public direct. That’s his cue. If the publisher -didn’t blow his horn who would? I opine, however, -that the fish would sell without it, and that the editor -of <i>Munsey’s</i> could tell them something a good deal -more interesting in the same space. What does the -great public, with its multitude of aims and desires, -care how such an effect was accomplished? All that -could safely remain within the veil. It would be -more to the point if the editor or publisher of Mr. -Bok’s collection of wax works would tell by what -miracle he got a circulation. It is easy in the other -case, regardless of the smart publisher. The time -passed long ago when a horse being led to water -could be forced to drink. The public must have -wanted <i>Munsey’s</i> when it was shut out by the middleman -or they wouldn’t have compelled the dealers -to send for it, and that implies that there’s something -in it besides self-consciousness and the publisher’s -tactical brilliancy. But how on earth came the embodied -ego and its sisters and cousins and aunts to -get a hearing anywhere? Is Ruth Ashmore, <i>alias</i> -Bab, at the bottom of it?</p> - -<p><img class="inline" src="images/deco1.jpg" alt="" /> A certain gentleman of my acquaintance, having -heard until he is sick of it that it takes nine Taylors -to make a man, continues to boldly assert that it -takes two Chatfields to make a Taylor.</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_166"></a>[166]</span></p> - -<p><img class="inline" src="images/deco1.jpg" alt="" /> When the <span class="smcap">Philistine</span> was started six months ago -I had no idea that it would now have half a million -subscribers.</p> - -<p><img class="inline" src="images/deco1.jpg" alt="" /> I am reminded by a Boston newspaper of the continued -existence of a belief that criticism of books -and other things more or less remotely connected -with literature is largely a matter of prejudice and -that the imprints on title pages determine the authors’ -fate. Yet the same article goes on to quote the -<i>Chip-Munk</i> firm as proof that merit will win sometimes -in spite of such drawbacks. It seems to me -the instance proves too much.</p> - -<p><img class="inline" src="images/deco1.jpg" alt="" /> And here, just at the last, I want to set down what -I have just read in a delightful book written by Katherine -Cheever Meredith—Johanna Staats—because it -seems to fit one’s mood at this time of year. This -is it:</p> - -<div class="blockquote"> - -<p>“Oh, I play with Miss Gray Blanket and I play -with Fanny.”</p> - -<p>“Fanny? The little girl?”</p> - -<p>“Yes. After it’s dark, you know, I play with -her. Then I talk to her. She never answers. But -I play she’s so tired she can’t. Of course I can’t -play <i>that</i> when it’s light. For then I could <i>see</i> that -she wasn’t there. But in the dark she <i>might</i> be.”</p> - -<p>“Exactly,” responded Poole abstractedly. He -was thinking that many men and women indulge in -the same game. Sometimes with their faith in each -other; but more often, though, with their creeds.</p> - -</div> - -<div class="figcenter"> -<img src="images/deco1.jpg" width="30" height="30" alt="" /> -</div> - -<div class="chapter"> - -<p><span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_167"></a>[167]</span></p> - -<h2 class="nobreak" id="FANFARRONADE">FANFARRONADE.</h2> - -</div> - -<div class="poetry-container"> -<div class="poetry"> - <div class="stanza"> - <div class="verse indent0">Let no man deem himself of Fate the King,</div> - <div class="verse indent2">Or challenge Fortune with a voice defiant—</div> - <div class="verse indent0">A tiny pebble in a shepherd’s sling</div> - <div class="verse indent2">Once overthrew a proud and boastful giant.</div> - </div> - <div class="stanza"> - <div class="verse right"><span class="smcap">Clarence Urmy.</span></div> - </div> -</div> -</div> - -<div class="figcenter"> -<img src="images/deco1.jpg" width="30" height="30" alt="" /> -</div> - -<div class="chapter"> - -<h2 class="nobreak" id="NOTHING_BUT_LEAVES">NOTHING BUT LEAVES.</h2> - -</div> - -<div> -<img class="dropcap" src="images/dropcap-i.jpg" width="50" height="60" alt="" /> -</div> - -<p class="dropcap">It was one of those November days when the -wind swoops down the mountain sides, bringing -an avalanche of leaves—disked oak leaves—and -then leaving them for a moment in the valley basin, -gathers them in her mighty hands and tosses them -again almost to the mountain tops.</p> - -<p>Chris found a sympathy in the dizzy, whirling, -swirling leaves. His hopes had withered so, and -now a girl’s changeful hand had been as reckless -with him as was the wind with these: like wrath in -death and envy afterwards.</p> - -<p>Poor Chris’s spiritual kingdom was suffering the -nature of an insurrection, for though he loved her he -was too proud to tell her she had misjudged him. -The dissipation of his hopes now was tinged with -regret, just as the wanton winds seem to us ruthless -as we remember when these leaves were planes and -green, not disked and brown.</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_168"></a>[168]</span></p> - -<p>Mockingly came the dance of leaves around his -feet—each like a thing alive—to beckon him here, -there, to elude him, to laugh at him.</p> - -<p>“It’s too hard to bear!” groaned Chris, between -his teeth. “How could she believe it! How could -she!”</p> - -<p>A flurry of hurrying, scurrying leaves swept past -him, a company of mocking, dancing leaves; from -right and left they came, and scarce ten steps before -him they met and swirled up—up into a monstrous -wraith with beckoning hands. Chris’s conflict took -form. “I’ll do it! I’ll do it! I’ll show her! -She’ll regret this day!” and he threw back his head -and with flashing eyes started forward with resolute -steps.</p> - -<p>A lost leaf wavered, dipped, paused, then with a -timid wafture touched his crisp curls.</p> - -<p>His blood surged up, for it was like the caress of a -loving hand.</p> - -<p>“Oh no,” said Chris, “I may be wrong—I’ll tell -her so;” and holding the lost leaf very gently between -his two hands he walked swiftly back.</p> - -<p class="right"><span class="smcap">Honor Easton.</span></p> - -<div class="figcenter"> -<img src="images/deco6.jpg" width="75" height="30" alt="" /> -</div> - -<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop" /> - -<div class="figcenter"> - -<img src="images/flower-lady.jpg" width="250" height="500" alt="" /> - -<p class="center">A FLOWER FROM THE CENTURY PLANT.</p> - -<p class="center allsmcap">BY CHARLES DINNEH GIVES’EM.</p> - -<p class="center">The Princess Stony-eye kept on saying nothing.</p> - -</div> - -<div style='display:block; margin-top:4em'>*** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE PHILISTINE: A PERIODICAL OF PROTEST (VOL. I, NO. 5, OCTOBER 1895) ***</div> -<div style='text-align:left'> - -<div style='display:block; margin:1em 0'> -Updated editions will replace the previous one—the old editions will -be renamed. -</div> - -<div style='display:block; margin:1em 0'> -Creating the works from print editions not protected by U.S. copyright -law means that no one owns a United States copyright in these works, -so the Foundation (and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United -States without permission and without paying copyright -royalties. Special rules, set forth in the General Terms of Use part -of this license, apply to copying and distributing Project -Gutenberg™ electronic works to protect the PROJECT GUTENBERG™ -concept and trademark. Project Gutenberg is a registered trademark, -and may not be used if you charge for an eBook, except by following -the terms of the trademark license, including paying royalties for use -of the Project Gutenberg trademark. 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