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-The Project Gutenberg eBook of Betsy Baker! or, Too Attentive by Half, by
-John Maddison Morton
-
-This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere in the United States and
-most other parts of the world at no cost and with almost no restrictions
-whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms
-of the Project Gutenberg License included with this eBook or online at
-www.gutenberg.org. If you are not located in the United States, you
-will have to check the laws of the country where you are located before
-using this eBook.
-
-Title: Betsy Baker! or, Too Attentive by Half
-       A Farce, in One Act
-
-Author: John Maddison Morton
-
-Release Date: March 11, 2021 [eBook #64794]
-
-Language: English
-
-Character set encoding: UTF-8
-
-Produced by: Paul Haxo from scanned images graciously made available by
-             the University of Michigan, the Hathi Digital Library, the
-             Internet Archive, and the University of Warwick.
-
-*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK BETSY BAKER! OR, TOO ATTENTIVE BY
-HALF ***
-
-
-
-
-BETSY BAKER!
-
-OR,
-
-TOO ATTENTIVE BY HALF.
-
-
-A FARCE.
-
-IN ONE ACT.
-
-
-BY
-
-JOHN MADDISON MORTON,
-
-_Member of the Dramatic Authors’ Society,_
-
-AUTHOR OF
-
-_Box and Cox, Two Bonnycastles, Who stole the Pocket Book, The
-Midnight Watch, Poor Pillicoddy, Going to the Derby, Old Honesty,
-Grimshaw, Done on both Sides, Young England, The King and I, My Wife’s
-Second Floor, The Double-Bedded Room, Wedding Breakfast, Milliners’
-Holiday, The Irish Tiger, Who’s the Composer, Who do they take me for,
-The Attic Story, Brother Ben, Who’s my Husband, Thumping Legacy, &c.,
-&c._
-
-
-THOMAS HAILES LACY,
-
-WELLINGTON STREET, STRAND,
-
-LONDON.
-
-
-
-
-First performed at the Royal Princess’s Theatre,
-
-On Wednesday, November 13th, 1850.
-
-
-Characters.
-
-  MR. MARMADUKE MOUSER        ... Mr. KEELEY.
-  MR. CRUMMY                  ... Mr. J. VINING.
-  MRS. MOUSER                 ... Miss MURRAY.
-  BETSY BAKER (_a Laundress_) ... Mrs. KEELEY.
-
-
-Costumes.
-
-MOUSER--Shawl pattern dressing gown, light brown vest, and fashionable
-dark grey check trousers. _Second Dress_--Exchanges gown for dark
-blue coat.
-
-CRUMMY--Fashionable black Oxonian coat, light drab vest, and light
-grey trousers.
-
-MRS. MOUSER--White muslin dress with amber satin ribbons over an amber
-satin dress, fashionable lace cap, &c.--_Second Dress_--Light
-blue silk mantilla over the above, white silk drawn bonnet.
-
-BETSY BAKER--Pink print dress with very short sleeves, laundress’s
-blue check apron, neat laced boots.
-
-
-Time in Representation--45 minutes.
-
-
-
-
-BETSY BAKER!
-
-
-SCENE.--_A handsomely furnished Apartment. Doors in flat, R. and L. C.
-Another door, L. 2 E. Piano-forte, table, chairs, &c._
-
-_MRS. MOUSER seated at table, working. MOUSER, in a dressing gown,
-seated at piano-forte, R._
-
-MOUS. (_accompanying himself, and singing_)
-
-  “On the margin of fair Zurich’s waters,
-   Ya--oo--oo!”
-
-That isn’t quite the thing. (_repeating_) Ya--oo--oo! That’s more
-like it!
-
-MRS. M. (_throws down her work_) This is really intolerable! I
-wish you wouldn’t attempt to sing that song, Mr. Mouser. You’ll never
-accomplish it.
-
-MOUS. I _will_ accomplish it, Mrs. Mouser. Indeed, I may say, I _have_
-accomplished it--all, except the “Ya--oo--oo,” and I’m not going to be
-beat by a “Ya--oo--oo,” I can tell you. No, Mrs. Mouser, I’ll
-accomplish that “Ya--oo--oo,” if I die for it! (_very loud, and out of
-tune_) “Ya--oo--oo!” No--that’s worse than ever.
-
-MRS. M. It’s quite clear that you are determined to annoy me.
-
-(_pouting_)
-
-MOUS. (_comes down quickly; very tenderly_) Annoy you? _You_, my
-Anastasia? _You?_ Pooh!
-
-MRS. M. I’ve told you a hundred times, Marmaduke, that you haven’t a
-single note in your voice.
-
-MOUS. Then the more creditable in your Marmaduke to try and get a
-few. (_in a solemn tone_) Anastasia, we live in a wonderful age.
-Every thing we see above us, below us, and all round about us, proclaims
-the triumph of mind over matter.
-
-MRS. M. (_yawns slightly_) Well, I don’t deny it, do I?
-
-MOUS. You _can’t_ deny it. Look at the Railroads--oblige me by looking
-at the Railroads, with their gigantic viaducts, their stupendous
-aqueducts--look at the Electric Telegraph over the Straits of
-Menai--look at the Tubular Bridge under the Straits of Dover! And
-how--how is this done? By perseverance--by determination! And shall I
-flinch from a paltry obstacle? Never! So here goes again! (_very loud_)
-“Ya--oo--oo!”
-
-MRS. M. (_listening_) Hark!
-
-MOUS. What?
-
-MRS. M. I thought I heard my dear Cousin Crummy outside. But of
-course that would give _you_ no gratification.
-
-MOUS. You wrong me, Anastasia. As long as your Cousin Crummy is
-outside, and _keeps_ outside, I don’t care how often I hear him.
-
-MRS. M. (_severely_) Mr. Mouser!
-
-MOUS. Understand me, Anastasia, I mean no disrespect to your Cousin
-Crummy--on the contrary, Crummy’s a man I like--but Crummy’s like many
-other good things in this world, a little of him goes a long way. In
-short, he gives us too much of his society.
-
-MRS. M. Because he sees we are so much alone.
-
-MOUS. But we never are alone. Crummy won’t let us be alone.
-
-MRS. M. Well, isn’t it natural that he should drop in upon us? Isn’t
-he your partner in the business? Isn’t he one of the firm, Mouser and
-Crummy, Attorneys-at-law?
-
-MOUS. Yes, and why? Because you chose to fancy that my practice was
-more than I could get through, and that I required a partner.
-
-MRS. M. I confess I did, and you took him in.
-
-MOUS. I beg your pardon--he took _me_ in; and pretty considerably
-too, for he pockets half the profits, and leaves me all the work.
-
-MRS. M. How can you say so? Isn’t he gone out on business now--and all
-the way to Pentonville, too?
-
-MOUS. All the way from Islington to Pentonville!
-
-MRS. M. Then why didn’t you go yourself? (_rises_)
-
-MOUS. And leave _you_, my ’Stasia? (_tenderly_) You that I adore with a
-degree of intensity closely bordering on insanity! Besides, it isn’t
-because a Mrs. Jones from Northamptonshire--a Jones I don’t know--a
-Jones I never saw--a Jones I never even heard of, chooses to send for
-me, that therefore I must go to that Jones, Jones can’t expect it!
-
-MRS. M. (R.) But no doubt she wishes to consult you on business, and
-she might prove an excellent client.
-
-MOUS. (L.) I hate business! I hate clients! I hate everything in the
-world but you, my ’Stasia. What’s the world to me? Nothing! What are its
-“gay and festive scenes, its halls of dazzling light” to me? Nothing!
-Oh, ’Stasia! ’Stasia!
-
-MRS. M. What nonsense you talk. One would suppose we had only been
-married a week instead of a year. Has any one been here for me?
-
-MOUS. (_eagerly_) Any one! Not that I know of. Who do you
-expect?
-
-MRS. M. Why only the laundress with my veil. She promised faithfully
-to let me have it to-day. When you go out, perhaps you will just call,
-and say I’m waiting for it. It’s only just over the way.
-
-MOUS. Of course, if you insist upon it, I will. But perhaps you’re
-not aware that there are usually from thirty to forty females of various
-ages and dimensions engaged in that establishment _over the way_,
-and I don’t think it would be exactly the safest place in the world for
-an unprotected male. Besides, I might be seen entering the premises,
-and then what would people say? Am I not known in the neighbourhood as
-the best of husbands? When we go out don’t the people rush to their
-doors and windows to look at us? Oh, ’Stasy! ’Stasy!
-
-MRS. M. Ha, ha, ha! My dear Marmaduke, you are certainly getting a
-little cracked on the subject.
-
-MOUS. I know it. I’m so much cracked that I wonder I don’t fall to
-pieces. But I can’t help it. (_placing his arm round her waist_)
-
-CRUM. (_without, L. D. F._) Oh, Mouser’s at home, is he?
-Particularly engaged, d’ye say? Pooh, pooh! I know better.
-
-MOUS. (_aside_) I shall do Crummy a terrific injury some of these
-days. I’m sure I shall.
-
-_Enter CRUMMY, L. D. F._
-
-CRUM. (_advancing to MOUSER, C., and giving him a slap on the
-back_) Ah, Mouser, my boy--sure to find you at home, eh? Ha, ha!
-Always together, eh? Billing and cooing, and all that sort of thing, eh?
-(_giving MOUSER a poke in the side_) By-the-bye, I’ve just come
-from Mrs. Major-General Jones. She would have nothing to say to me.
-She insists on seeing the head of the firm, so I told you’d be with her
-in a quarter of an hour.
-
-MOUS. (R.) Did you? Then you had better go back to Mrs. Jones, and
-tell her that I shan’t do anything of the sort.
-
-CRUM. (C.) But you _must_. Her’s is a very important case.
-Neither more nor less than a separation from her husband, Major-General
-Jones.
-
-MOUS. I’ll have nothing to do with it. Major-General Jones has never
-offended me--what right, then, have I to stand between Major-General
-Jones and Mrs. Major-General Jones, and say to Major-General Jones,
-“Major-General Jones, take a last look at Mrs. Major-General Jones, for
-you’ll never set your eyes on Mrs. Major-General Jones again?” It’s
-absurd!
-
-CRUM. But he ill-treats her--games, drinks, squanders her fortune--and,
-they do say, is not particular as to the number of his attachments.
-
-MOUS. (_with a look of horror_) ’Stasy, can such things be? (_drags
-off his dressing gown, which he throws into CRUMMY’S face, who places
-it on back of chair, R. of table._) My coat--my hat--my blue
-bag--quick! (_CRUMMY exits into office, R. D. F._) Oh, the monster!
-But I’ll hold him up to the execration of mankind. “Not particular as
-to the number of his attachments!” Gracious goodness! And to think
-that such a man is able to walk the streets without a policeman on
-each side of him. (_CRUMMY returns with hat, coat, and blue bag_) But,
-as I said before, I’ll expose him! (_in his excitement he puts on the
-dressing gown again--puts on CRUMMY’S hat, and takes CRUMMY’S umbrella
-from table_) I shan’t be long, my ’Stasia. I shall soon return on the
-wings of love---- (_going_)
-
-MRS. M. (_L., detaining him_) You’re surely not going out in
-your dressing gown?
-
-MOUS. Eh? yes--it is my dressing gown, I declare. On second thoughts,
-I really don’t see why I should interfere between these Joneses.
-(_places hat and umbrella on the table_) I’d rather by half stop
-with you, my ’Stasy.
-
-CRUM. Nonsense. You must go. Mrs. Major-General Jones expects you.
-(_taking hold of one of the sleeves of the dressing gown_)
-
-MRS. M. (_taking hold of the other_) Of course--Mrs. Jones
-expects you.
-
-CRUM. You wouldn’t keep a young and pretty woman waiting?
-(_handing him his coat_)
-
-MOUS. Oh, she’s young and pretty, is she? You hear, ’Stasia--she’s
-young and pretty. (_puts on coat_) You expose me to her fascinations,
-’Stasia----
-
-MRS. M. (_smiling_) I’m not at all afraid.
-
-MOUS. And why--why are you not afraid? Because, as you must have
-observed, you no sooner set your foot on the ground than I instantly
-commence adoring the bit of ground you set your foot on.
-
-MRS. M. (_with impatience_) Yes, yes--but make haste. And you can
-join me at my sister Charlotte’s. You know we drink tea there this
-evening----
-
-MOUS. Yes, at eight o’clock. But it isn’t five yet.
-
-MRS. M. What of that? I promised her to come early--she’s teaching me
-a new pattern in knitting.
-
-MOUS. Yes, I heard her the other day. She was telling you to drop
-one, and then take up two. She didn’t say what, but I must say I was
-rather surprised at her requesting you to “turn over twice”--especially
-so soon after dinner.
-
-MRS. M. Ha, ha, ha! Good-bye--for I’m in a hurry to dress.
-
-MOUS. (_detaining her_) One fond embrace before we part! (_kisses
-her_) Keep up your spirits in my absence. (_going--stops_) Another
-fond embrace before we part!
-
-MRS. M. (_with evident impatience_) Psha! (_MOUSER going
-again_) You’ll not forget the message about the veil----
-
-MOUS. Certainly not. (_going--stops_) Another fond embrace
-before----
-
-CRUM. Go along! (_pushes him out, L. D. F._) Well, coz, you
-certainly may say you’ve got the most attentive husband in the
-world.
-
-MRS. M. Too attentive by half!
-
-CRUM. Eh?
-
-MRS. M. (_seriously_) Yes, cousin. Few women are proof against
-ridicule--and some husbands would do well to remember that there is a
-point when attention to a wife becomes a burden, and even affection a
-persecution. Yes, yes, cousin--he’s too attentive by half!
-
-_Exit, L. D._
-
-CRUM. “Too attentive by half!” Then it is as I feared, and that
-simpleton, Mouser, doesn’t see that he is persecuting his wife with his
-affection. She evidently dreads a conjugal _tête-à-tête_, and no
-wonder. He never leaves her for a moment; but there he is, eternally and
-everlastingly at her side, “sighing like furnace,” and making himself
-ridiculous in her eyes. Mischief will certainly come of it. Some remedy
-must be devised. But what? If I could only contrive to excite
-Anastasia’s suspicions that her husband, like Major-General Jones, is
-not exactly satisfied with one attachment at a time----By this means her
-jealousy might be roused. But she wouldn’t believe _me_. No,
-Mouser himself must supply the materials. But how? (_BETSY BAKER
-knocks at L. D. F._) Come in!
-
-_BETSY appears at L. D. F., with a small parcel._
-
-BET. Mrs. Mouser’s veil----
-
-CRUM. Come in, my dear.
-
-BET. Pattens and all, sir?
-
-CRUM. No. You may leave them outside.
-
-BET. If it’s the same to you, sir, I’d rather not.
-
-CRUM. Then take them off, at all events.
-
-BET. Of course, sir. (_takes off her pattens, and comes forward,
-carrying them in her hand_) It isn’t likely I should go for to walk
-on a carpet, especially when the roads are so dreadful muddy.
-
-(_putting her pattens down on table with a slam_)
-
-CRUM. Zounds! Don’t put ’em on the table! (_takes pattens from
-her_)
-
-BET. I’m sure I don’t know what to do with ’em, so put ’em where you
-like.
-
-CRUM. Ha, ha! Heyday! I think I ought to know that face again.
-
-BET. If you ever saw it before, you certainly ought.
-
-CRUM. Have I not met you rather frequently of late, walking of an
-evening with our young clerk, Joseph Harris?
-
-BET. Yes, sir. We’ve rather delicate constitutions both of us, so we
-generally go out for a little fresh air and exercise every Monday,
-Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, and Saturday, after work hours. We
-can’t get out any other evenings, sir. I suppose, you’re Mr. Crummy!
-You’re not Mr. Mouser. We all know _him!_
-
-CRUM. We! Who?
-
-BET. Why, all us girls at the laundry over the way. Ah, there’s a
-pattern for a husband! ’Tisn’t every woman, sir, as gets a Mouser. No,
-sir--Mousers are scarce.
-
-CRUM. And yet you’d take your chance and marry Joseph Harris?
-
-BET. Just try me! And now I think of it, sir, he has told me more
-than once that you said if ever he found a nice, genteel, respectable
-young woman that he’d like to marry, you’d do something for him,
-sir.
-
-CRUM. Oh, then, you, I suppose, are the----
-
-BET. The young woman? Yes, sir, Elizabeth Baker, the youngest of
-sixteen sisters, and all of ’em girls, sir--and hard-working girls, too,
-sir. It’s worth going over to our laundry to see us, sir. Fancy sixteen
-Bakers a washing, all of a row!
-
-CRUM. Well, I’ll bear my promise in mind.
-
-BET. Don’t you think you’d better get it off your mind at once, sir?
-There’s a nice little shop in the greengrocery line, to be let at the
-corner of the street--and, as Harris doesn’t seem very fond of
-the law, it would be just the very thing for us.
-
-CRUM. (_aside_) Egad, here’s an opportunity for driving a
-bargain. She’s a smart little body enough, and if she can only be
-induced to act as I direct--I’ll feel the ground at all events.
-(_aloud_) I suppose you’ve brought Mrs. Mouser’s veil? (_pointing
-to parcel_)
-
-BET. Yes, sir.
-
-CRUM. Mr. Mouser called and told _you_ to do so, eh?
-
-BET. He didn’t address himself to any of us in particular, sir. He
-just popped his head in at the door, and said, “Mrs. Mouser wants her
-veil directly,” and then took to his heels as if he was frightened to
-look at any woman but his wife. Lor! what a happy couple they must
-be!
-
-CRUM. (_with a deep sigh_) Happy! (_solemnly_) They are _not_ a happy
-couple!
-
-BET. Lawks!
-
-CRUM. Yet they might be--but, unfortunately, there is only one person
-in the world who could make them so.
-
-BET. And who is that?
-
-CRUM. You.
-
-BET. (_with a jump_) Me! I’m sure I’ll set about it directly, if
-you’ll only tell me how.
-
-CRUM. I will. (_looks mysteriously about him--BETSY watches
-him with astonishment--then in a loud whisper_) You must fall in love
-with Mr. Mouser.
-
-BET. Sir!
-
-CRUM. And Mr. Mouser must instantly fall in love with you.
-
-BET. (_staring at him--then with dignity_) Give me my pattens,
-sir, and let me go. Give me my pattens, I say.
-
-CRUM. ’Pshaw, child! You misunderstand me. Listen! Your sudden
-passion for Mouser----
-
-BET. (_seizing hold of them, and trying to pull them out of CRUMMY’S
-hand_)
-
-CRUM. Oh! Very well! It’s a pity, too--for a married couple might do
-very well.
-
-BET. My pattens!
-
-CRUM. At that little greengrocer’s shop at the corner of the
-street.
-
-BET. My pat--(_letting go the pattens_) Well, they’re not worth
-making a piece of work about.
-
-CRUM. (_smiling_) Oh! Then as I was going to say--your passion
-for Mouser, will, of course, be merely assumed, but you must contrive to
-make him fall in love with you, in downright earnest.
-
-BET. I can’t do it, sir. I wouldn’t mind trying, if I wasn’t such a
-dragon of virtue--but I’m sorry to say I am.
-
-CRUM. Then somebody else will.
-
-BET. But if he should happen to captivate me?
-
-CRUM. That’s your affair.
-
-BET. But why--why am I to do all this?
-
-CRUM. That’s my affair.
-
-BET. (L.) But what will Mrs. Mouser say?
-
-CRUM. That’s her affair.
-
-BET. But she’ll go and imagine all sorts of things.
-
-CRUM. I hope she will. Come, is it a bargain? Will you have Joseph
-Harris, and the little greengrocer’s shop, or will you take your pattens
-and go? (_offering them_)
-
-BET. You can keep the pattens.
-
-CRUM. Spoken like a sensible girl. (_places patterns in passage,
-L.C._) I expect Mouser every minute.
-
-BET. Oh lud! (_about to run off_)
-
-CRUM. Don’t run away. (_stopping her_)
-
-BET. But, consider, sir, you can’t expect me to act a part at a
-moment’s notice.
-
-CRUM. Then take that veil to Mrs. Mouser, and in a few minutes you
-can come back, but be sure you _do_ come back!
-
-_Enter MOUSER, L. D. F._
-
-BET. (_looking at him_) Well, I don’t think there’s much danger
-of my falling in love with _him_.
-
-(_MOUSER, who has put his hat, &c., on table, C., turns and sees
-BETSY, who runs off, L. D._)
-
-MOUS. (_L., severely to CRUMMY_) Mr. Crummy, what is that young
-person?
-
-CRUM. Ha, ha! Come, I like that! Go along!
-
-MOUS. But _I_ don’t like it, sir--neither shall I go along. I
-repeat, who is that young person?
-
-CRUM. Ha, ha! You do it very well, Mouser--but it won’t do--ugh! you
-Don Juan! (_poking him in the side_)
-
-MOUS. (_after a look of astonishment at CRUMMY, then aside_)
-Can he have been drinking thus early.
-
-CRUM. But I really think you might have waited till I was out of the
-room, before you----
-
-MOUS. Before I what, sir?
-
-CRUM. You know--this sort of thing, eh? (_winking at MOUSER_) I
-suppose you thought I shouldn’t see you do it, eh?
-
-MOUS. Do it. Do what?
-
-CRUM. Wink at her.
-
-MOUS. (_with grandeur_) Mr. Crummy!
-
-CRUM. That’s right--brazen it out--but let me tell you, sir, I have had
-my eye upon you and that young woman for some time past.
-
-MOUS. Oh, damn it, I can’t stand this! you forget that you’re a
-junior partner, sir.
-
-CRUM. And you forget that I’m your wife’s cousin, sir--yes, sir! And
-I’ll not allow you to impose upon her with your pretended affection, you
-good-for-nothing little hypocrite you, while you carry on an intrigue
-under her very nose, sir.
-
-MOUS. Nose, sir.
-
-CRUM. No, sir! Neither will I suffer you to trifle with the feelings
-of one that I’m determined shall not fall into the trap you have laid,
-sir. You know who I mean--Baker, sir! (_going round him in front to L._)
-
-MOUS. _I_ trifle with the feelings of a Baker! I lay a trap for
-a Baker! You’re talking nonsense, Crummy!
-
-CRUM. Come, come. Now that you see I’ve found you out--tell me how you
-contrived to wheedle poor Betsy out of her affections?
-
-MOUS. Crummy, I’m not apt to make use of strong language--but--by the
-living jingo, I never wheedled a Betsy out of anything in all my
-life!
-
-CRUM. Well, I suppose I must believe you. But, intentionally or not,
-you certainly have made a most powerful impression on her youthful
-heart! She confessed as much to me just now.
-
-MOUS. (_gradually dropping his look of indignation, and with
-self-satisfaction_) Poor Betsy! I’m very sorry for her, I’m sure! I
-say, Crummy, she’s a niceish little sort of a girl enough.
-
-CRUM. Umph! so, so! (_in a contemptuous tone_)
-
-MOUS. So, so! No, let’s be just, Crummy--let’s be just. She has good
-eyes, Crummy, umph?
-
-CRUM. (L.) Squints a little.
-
-MOUS. Does she? I’ve never noticed her in the slightest degree
-whatever--but I’m damned if she squints!
-
-CRUM. At any rate her eyes seem good enough to have noticed
-_you._ But, knowing you to be free from blame in the matter, I
-reasoned with her, told her the folly of fixing her affections upon a
-married man, but all in vain--so _you’d_ better take her in
-hand.
-
-MOUS. Do you think so?
-
-CRUM. Certainly--you can talk to her seriously, but kindly.
-
-MOUS. Of course, I shouldn’t go and behave like a brute to her! I
-shouldn’t go to blow Betsy up.
-
-CRUM. Certainly not--for, after all, the poor girl is more to be
-pitied than blamed.
-
-MOUS. Crummy, that sentiment does you honour! It shows that the milk
-of human kindness flows in your bosom, Crummy. (_shaking CRUMMY’S
-hand_)
-
-BETSY. (_without, L. H._) Very well, ma’am, I’ll be sure to
-remember it.
-
-CRUM. That’s her voice! There’s something lively and cheerful about
-it, eh?
-
-MOUS. Yes, yes, it’s a pleasant voice, Crummy. (_arranging his
-cravat, &c._)
-
-CRUM. She _might_ have gone out by the back door, but, of
-course, she knew that _you_ were here. Ha, ha! (_nudging
-MOUSER, then retires up_)
-
-MOUS. Pooh! Go along! I believe you’re about right, though, ’pon my
-life I do!
-
-_Enter BETSY BAKER, L. D._
-
-BET. (_seeing MOUSER_) There stands my wretched victim! He
-little knows what’s going to happen to him.
-
-CRUM. (_C. aside to BETSY_) Now then, attention! (_aloud_)
-Well, my dear, Mrs. Mouser was pleased with her veil I hope?
-
-BET. (_crossing C._) Oh, yes, sir; but in getting it up, somehow
-or other, I run the iron through it. I suppose I was thinking of
-something else. (_looking languishingly at MOUSER, then aside
-to CRUMMY_) How’s that?
-
-CRUM. (_aside to her_) Capital!
-
-MOUS. (_in a plaintive tone, and approaching BETSY_) Dear, dear,
-so you run the iron through it, did you? What a pity!
-
-BET. (_with pretended emotion_) Oh, sir! (_letting the veil
-fall--aside to CRUMMY_) How’s that?
-
-CRUM. (_aside to her_) Can’t be better!
-
-MOUS. (_aside_) It’s a clear case! Poor _creetur!_ (_picks up the
-veil, and offers it to BETSY_)
-
-BET. Oh, sir! (_taking the veil, and squeezing his hand_) I’ve
-done it! (_aside_)
-
-MOUS. (_aside_) She squeezed my hand!
-
-CRUM. (_to BETSY_) Perhaps you’ve seen Mr. Mouser before.
-(_aside to her_) Sigh! (_CRUMMY crosses behind to R. C._)
-
-BET. Heigho! (_aloud_) Oh yes, sir. I often see Mr. Mouser. I
-saw him go out yesterday at thirteen minutes past four, and come in
-again at twenty-seven minutes and a half past five.
-
-CRUM. (_aside to MOUSER_) You see, she counts the very minutes.
-(_aloud_) This is the young person who’s going to marry our clerk,
-Joseph Harris.
-
-MOUS. Soon? (R.)
-
-CRUM. That depends on her. Harris wishes the marriage to take place
-immediately, but there seems to be some _slight obstacle_ on her
-part--and, strange to say, she won’t tell _me_ what it is.
-
-MOUS. (_aside_) The thing’s evident. I’m the slight obstacle.
-
-CRUM. Perhaps _you’ll_ be more fortunate. (_turning L., as going up
-to L. D. F._)
-
-MOUS. (_aside to him_) Good gracious, Crummy, don’t go, and
-leave us alone.
-
-CRUM. (_aside to him_) Of course! You’ve done the mischief, and
-you must repair it. (_to BETSY_) Good bye, my good girl.
-
-BET. (_with pretended alarm_) You’re not a-going, sir?
-
-MOUS. Poor soul! She hopes he’s not a-going. (_aside_)
-
-CRUM. (_aside to BETSY_) Capitally. Capitally acted, so far.
-Only carry it on a little longer, and the shop is yours. (_aside
-to MOUSER_) Did you ever see such a pair of eyes? (_aside, as he
-goes out, towards L. D. F._) I’ll not lose sight of them.
-
-_Exit L. D. F._
-
-(_MOUSER and BETSY stand at opposite sides of the Stage. Their
-eyes meet once or twice--she dropping them with emotion, and he
-drawing himself up and trying to appear indifferent. CRUMMY
-crosses unseen into Office, R._)
-
-BET. Poor man! He’ll never begin, so I suppose I must. (_aloud_)
-Sir!
-
-MOUS. (_aside_) Mouser, be firm. No damned nonsense! Do your
-duty, Mouser, and that duty commands you instantly to plunge a dagger
-into the heart that adores you. Well, Miss Baker? (_with great
-indifference--his back towards her_)
-
-BET. Those as likes me calls me Betsy. (_in a plaintive tone_)
-Call me Betsy, sir!
-
-MOUS. No, Betsy--I shall not call you Betsy--I never do call people by
-their Christian names, Betsy--never, Betsy! Never, Betsy!
-
-BET. No more do I--unless they’re very--_very_ pretty ones indeed,
-such as John, and Timothy, and Marma_dook_. (_in a tender tone,
-and approaching him_)
-
-MOUS. (_aside_) Mouser, be firm. (_turning to BETSY, and seeing her
-close to him, begins whistling again. BETSY retires a step or two, and
-approaches him again_) So, you think Marma_dook_ a pretty name, eh?
-
-BETSY. Yes, sir. I could go on making rhymes to it all day long, as I
-stand at the washing-tub: just like the man in the play.
-
-  There’s not a name in any book,
-  As can compare with Marma_dook_,
-  No breeze as e’er the treeses shook,
-  Sounds half as sweet as Marma_dook._
-
-MOUS. (_aside_) It was wrong in me to stop. I feel, it was
-highly wrong in me to stop. (_aloud_) But remember, you are going
-to marry a Joseph.
-
-BET. (_with sudden violence, and close to MOUSER_) Never!
-
-MOUS. (_jumping away_) Don’t. But why not?
-
-BET. I _don’t_ want to marry--I never _will_ marry--I’ll live
-and die a Baker. (_with great energy_)
-
-MOUS. But your reason--your motive--for dying a Baker?
-
-BET. (_with a pathetic look at MOUSER_) Can _you_ ask? _You! You?_ Oh,
-’tis too much! Oh! Oh! Oh! (_aside_) I wonder how I’m doing it.
-(_hiding her face in her hands and sobbing_)
-
-MOUS. Hush! (_tenderly_) Don’t cry--don’t make such a row, Miss
-Baker.
-
-BET. Call me Betsy!
-
-MOUS. Very well, Betsy. (_aside_) I’ve been _too_ firm, Mouser, you’ve
-been by many degrees too firm. (_aloud, and taking BETSY’S hand_) Now,
-don’t cry, there’s a dear. (_aside_) I called her a dear!
-
-_Here CRUMMY looks in from Office, and observes._
-
-There--there--and, now laugh--laugh directly, you little rogue.
-(_aside_) I called her a little rogue. (_chucks BETSY under the
-chin_)
-
-BET. (_looking nervously towards the door_) Oh, I think I’d
-better go now, sir.
-
-MOUS. Don’t be in a hurry, Betsy. He, he, he my pretty little
-Betsy--for you _are_ pretty--_very_--_very_--he, he! (_laughs to
-himself, aside_) I’m going it! I feel I’m rapidly becoming a horrid,
-good-for-nothing little rascal! But I can’t help it.
-
-BET. (_trying to disengage her hand_) But, sir, what would Mrs.
-Mouser think?
-
-MOUS. (_recklessly_) Mrs. Mouser may think whatever she likes. There,
-what d’ye say to that? Ha, ha, ha! who’s afraid? (_suddenly and very
-loud_) Betsy, embrace your Marma_dook_.
-
-BET. (_frightened, takes up her pattens, and holds them out,
-threatening him_)
-
-MOUS. (_rushes at BETSY--she avoids him, leaving the veil in his
-hand._)
-
-CRUM. (_without_) Very well, I shall find him.
-
-BET. Oh, lud! (_runs out at door, L. D. F._)
-
-MOUS. Cousin Crummy! (_follows her to the door, then crams the veil
-into his pocket and begins to whistle very loud_)
-
-_Enter CRUMMY from Office._
-
-CRUM. (R.) Oh, you’re alone, are you?
-
-MOUS. Yes, yes. Amusing myself as well as I can. La, la, la!
-(_singing_)
-
-CRUM. Oh, then, she’s been gone some time I suppose?
-
-MOUS. She? who? (_pretending to remember_) Oh, yes--little
-Betsy--of course--I remember. Ha, ha, ha! How you could have got such an
-absurd notion into your head, I can’t imagine. The girl never even
-thought of me!
-
-CRUM. (_aside_) The little hypocrite! (_aloud_) Then I must
-have made a mistake.
-
-MOUS. A mistake of the most gigantic dimensions, Crummy.
-
-CRUM. Well--by the bye, your wife wants her veil. Where is it?
-(_looking about_) Where’s the veil?
-
-MOUS. Veil? Oh, here it is, but you know it wants mending.
-
-CRUM. Oh, never mind a little tear like that.
-
-MOUS. (_tearing a large hole in the veil, aside_) A little tear!
-It’s tremendous! Look here. (_shewing it_) So, I’ll just leave it
-with the young woman when I go past--(_aside_)--with a note inside,
-requesting her to come here this evening, when my wife is out. I’m
-rushing headlong into all sorts of iniquities! But, as I said before, I
-can’t help it. (_gets hat, &c. from the table_)
-
-CRUM. You’re going out again?
-
-MOUS. (_imitating him_) Going out again, what a question!
-Doesn’t Mrs. Major-General Jones expect me?
-
-CRUM. (_smiling_) Again?
-
-MOUS. Yes, sir, again! This case of Jones _v._ Jones is a very
-complicated case, sir, and I must get a counsel’s opinion.
-
-CRUM. Then, of course, you can’t accompany Anastasia to her
-sister’s?
-
-MOUS. Anastasia! Oh, true, I forgot her.
-
-CRUM. (_aside_) Forgot his wife! Better and better. Ha, ha!
-(_aloud_) Oh, here she comes--you can accompany part of the way.
-
-MOUS. Eh? Yes, yes, of course! (_pulling out his watch, and looking
-at it--then with, pretended surprise_) Goodness gracious! I shall be
-too late for Mrs. Major-General Jones.
-
-(_he rushes out, L. D. F._)
-
-_Enter MRS. MOUSER in her bonnet and shawl, L._
-
-MRS. M. (_calling after MOUSER, whom she sees running out_) Mr.
-Mouser! Marmaduke! Call him back, cousin!
-
-CRUM. It’s no use my calling him back, my dear--he saw you coming.
-
-MRS. M. And now leaves the house again, without saying a word.
-
-CRUM. And without his usual “fond embrace before we part!”
-
-MRS. M. Yes--but this is neglect--downright neglect--not that it matters
-to me.
-
-CRUM. So I see. (_smiling_)
-
-MRS. M. Mr. Mouser can go where he likes, and do what he likes--and so
-can I. We needn’t interfere with one another in the slightest degree. I
-shall go to my sister’s. If he chooses to come well and good. If not, I
-dare say I shall find some one _polite enough_ to see me home! and
-you may tell him so. (_going_)
-
-CRUM. Well, but Anastasia?
-
-MRS. M. (_in a loud voice_) You may tell him so.
-
-(_goes out L. D. F., slamming door after her_)
-
-CRUM. But Anastasia? Stop! Hear me! I’ll follow her--no, for if I do,
-I shall leave the coast clear for Mouser--confound it. I wish I hadn’t
-interfered at all. So I’ll find Betsy at once, and marry her off hand to
-Joseph Harris and the little greengrocer’s shop. (_taking his hat,
-&c._)
-
-_BETSY peeps in L. D. F._
-
-BET. Sir! Sir! Are you alone, Mr. Crummy?
-
-CRUM. (R.) You’re the very young woman I wish to see.
-
-BET. So are you, sir.
-
-CRUM. I see--you’ve given him the slip, eh?
-
-BET. Slip, sir! Who, sir?
-
-CRUM. Mouser. Betsy, I’m afraid you’ve gone a little too far.
-
-BET. (_drawing herself up_) You’ll be good enough to remember,
-sir, that you are speaking to Betsy Baker? Didn’t you insist on my
-making Mr. Mouser fall in love with me in downright earnest?
-
-CRUM. Yes, yes.
-
-BET. And ain’t he in love with me in downright earnest?
-
-CRUM. Yes, confound him!
-
-BET. Very well, sir. Then I’ll trouble you for the little
-greengrocer’s shop at the corner of the street.
-
-CRUM. Pooh! We’ll talk about that some other time. (_walking
-about_)
-
-BET. No, sir--now! now! (_following him_) I won’t go out of the
-house, without the little greengrocer’s shop at the corner of the
-street. I’ve worked hard for it!
-
-CRUM. Pshaw!
-
-BET. (_stopping_) Very well--then I know what I’ll do--I’ll fall
-in love with Mouser in downright earnest, too! He’s a very nice little
-fellow, Mr. Mouser! Where is Mr. Mouser? (_in a loud voice and walking
-to and fro_) Where’s Mr. Mouser?
-
-CRUM. (_following her_) Hush!
-
-BET. (_louder still_) I want my Mouser!
-
-CRUM. Be quiet; you shall have the shop--but, on this condition--that
-you don’t see Mouser again.
-
-BET. Then you must tell him I can’t come.
-
-CRUM. Can’t come, where?
-
-BET. Here, in an hour’s time. That’s what I came to tell you about.
-He left Mrs. Mouser’s veil at our place just now, and, when I opened it
-there was a letter inside!
-
-CRUM. A letter?
-
-BET. Yes, sir.
-
-CRUM. From Mr. Mouser?
-
-BET. Yes, sir, appointing me to meet him here.
-
-CRUM. Why, then, the little profligate is really in love with her!
-And you read the letter?
-
-BET. No, sir, I defy anybody to say they ever saw me read anything.
-So I gave it to one of our girls.
-
-CRUM. The devil!
-
-BET. No, sir, Big Charlotte--a red-haired young woman, on a large
-scale. Perhaps you’ve noticed her, sir?
-
-CRUM. Pshaw! Go on.
-
-BET. Well, sir, she read the letter out loud, at the top of her
-voice, sir--and she’s a very powerful organ. Perhaps you’ve heard her
-organ, sir.
-
-CRUM. Confusion! Then the contents of the letter--that Mouser had
-asked you to meet him here----
-
-BET. Was known all over the laundry in a twinkling. Fancy
-thirty-seven female voices, including Big Charlotte’s, crying out,
-“Lawks!” at the same moment? Of course, I was obliged to clear myself,
-which I did, by telling them the whole business! How it was to oblige
-you, that I was trying to make Mr. Mouser fall in love with me; because
-as how you promised to give the little greengrocer’s shop at the corner
-of the street to the young woman that succeeded in captivating him.
-
-CRUM. Well?
-
-BET. Well, sir--the words were no sooner out of my mouth, than all the
-washing-tubs were deserted in a moment, and the whole of the
-thirty-seven girls--Big Charlotte included--seemed determined to set
-about captivating Mr. Mouser at once--and, as ill-luck would have it, he
-passed by the window at that moment, sir--and they all instantly rushed
-out after him, in a body.
-
-CRUM. Zounds! There’s a pretty piece of business! What’ll become of
-him? Why the devil did I interfere? (_snatches up his hat and runs
-off_)
-
-BET. But, sir! Mr. Crummy! Stop! Where’s my shop? I insist on my
-shop!
-
-(_Great noise of WOMEN’S voices suddenly heard--“Stop, sir!”
-“Mr. Mouser!” “Don’t run!” “It’s only me!” &c.; MOUSER rushes in at
-D. L. F., followed by WOMEN; after considerable trouble he turns them
-out again at door and slams it--noise of WOMEN’S voices repeated_)
-
-MOUS. (_shouting at the door_) Go along! Females begone!
-
-(_WOMEN heard again at R. D., MOUSER runs and closes it_)
-
-MOUS. (_advancing_) What the deuce is the matter with the women? What
-are the police about? I pay the police rate--cheerfully and willingly
-pay it--because I can’t help it. I provide a large body of men, not
-only with the necessaries of life, but with the luxury of an oilskin
-cape to protect them from the inclemency of the weather--and yet in
-open day--walking slowly along the public streets--I find myself
-suddenly overwhelmed by an avalanche of females! (_in a serious tone_)
-It’s a retribution. Mouser, listen to me--you have a wife, Mouser--and
-yet, you first run after another woman: and now you have fifty women
-running after you, Mouser. It won’t do, Mouser! (_sees BETSY_) Ah,
-Betsy!--so you’re come, eh?
-
-BET. No, sir, I ain’t.
-
-MOUS. Come, I like that.
-
-BET. Well, if I have you sent for me.
-
-MOUS. The fact is, I requested your presence here--to--to--reason with
-you--on the--impropriety of your conduct.
-
-BET. Sir. (_aside_) If I was only sure of the shop, I’d bust out
-a laughing--but, as I ain’t, I dare not. (_aloud_) I see how it is
-you want to break my heart.
-
-MOUS. Hush! (_trying to pacify her_) You’re wrong, Betsy, but
-you don’t know what it is to have a young and lovely wife, Betsy.
-
-BET. Yes I do.
-
-MOUS. No you don’t, and what’s more, you probably never will. And so,
-Betsy--that is--I mean--I say--I mean--(_aside_)--I can’t make up my
-mind as to what I _do_ mean.
-
-_WOMEN heard again without._
-
-MOUS. (_aside_) The women again! I’ll go and shut the office door, for
-fear they should come in that way. (_goes off, R. D. F._)
-
-BET. (_suddenly leaving off sobbing_) I’m horribly afraid the
-little shop at the corner of the street, will slip through my fingers at
-last. (_double knock at street door_) Oh, gemini! Who can that be?
-What’ll become of me?
-
-_MRS. MOUSER enters, L. D. F., followed by BOY._
-
-MRS. M. Is Mr. Mouser at home?
-
-BOY. No, ma’am.
-
-MRS. M. Bring candles.
-
-BOY. Yes, ma’am.
-
-(_BOY goes off and returns immediately with candles, which he
-places on table, and then retires at back. BETSY makes her
-escape, and runs out L. D. F._)
-
-MRS. M. Good gracious! What a commotion! There are at least thirty
-women round the door! I’m quite alarmed! I feel I was wrong to leave the
-house in a pet against Mr. Mouser. As for my Cousin Crummy’s
-insinuations, I treat them with the utmost contempt. So, instead of
-spending the evening with sister Charlotte, I determined to return home,
-and give my poor dear affectionate little husband an agreeable
-surprise.
-
-MOUS. (_from within_) Don’t be impatient!
-
-MRS. M. That’s his voice. Who can he be speaking to?
-
-MOUS. (_from within_) I’ll be with you directly, Betsy.
-
-MRS. M. Betsy! (_blows out candles, stage dark_) Oh! the monster!
-
-_Re-enter MOUSER from Office, R. D. F._
-
-MOUS. How dark it is! Betsy! Where are you, Betsy? (_feeling his way_)
-
-MRS. M. (_in an assumed voice_) Here!
-
-MOUS. Where?
-
-MRS. M. Here, you wretch! (_gives him a box on the ears_)
-
-MOUS. Zounds! (_lays hold of MRS. MOUSER, in the struggle she takes
-off MOUSER’S wig, and runs into room, L., shutting door in MOUSER’S
-face_)
-
-MOUS. Holloa! She’s locked herself up, with my wig, in Mrs. Mouser’s
-room. Betsy! Elizabeth! Miss Baker! Don’t be absurd! Come out of that
-room--give me my wig! (_knocking and trying to open door_) Open the
-door! Open it this instant, or I’ll overwhelm you with my indignation
-through the keyhole.
-
-_Enter CRUMMY from Office, with a candle._
-
-CRUM. I can’t find him any where. (_seeing him_) Holloa!--ha, ha,
-ha!
-
-MOUS. Don’t laugh, Crummy, look at me! She’s here--I mean, she’s
-there.
-
-CRUM. Who?
-
-MOUS. Betsy--in my wife’s room.
-
-CRUM. Ah! Any one with her?
-
-MOUS. Yes, my wig. This is your doing--this is your precious work.
-(_seizing CRUMMY and shaking him_) It was you--you who exposed me to
-the fascinations of this juvenile washerwoman. It’s through you that I
-have lost my peace of mind, and my wig. Where are they? Where’s my
-peace of mind? Where’s my wig?
-
-(_shaking CRUMMY again violently_)
-
-BETSY. (_who, during the latter part of MOUSER’S speech, has entered
-L. D. F. and come down, L._) Yes, and where’s my shop?
-
-MOUS. (C.) Exactly. Where’s my shop--I mean---- (_sees BETSY_) Holloa!
-
-BET. (_seeing MOUSER, and then bursting into a violent fit of
-laughter_) Ha, ha, ha! Oh, my! What a Guy! Ha, ha, ha!
-
-MOUS. What d’ye mean by a Guy? (_suddenly recollecting. Snatches
-CRUMMY’S hat out of his hand, and puts it on_) And how--how the
-deuce did you get out of that room?
-
-BET. I never was in it!
-
-MOUS. Ha, ha! That’s right, Miss Baker! Stick to it, Miss Baker!
-Perhaps you’ll go so far as to say that it wasn’t you who did me the
-honour just now of boxing my ears, and run away with my wig.
-
-BET. (L.) Certainly not.
-
-MOUS. Then who was it? I repeat, who was it?
-
-MRS. M. (_entering at door, L._) Your wife, sir!
-
-MOUS. Anastasia! Crummy, take me away, and put me somewhere.
-
-CRUM. (_R. C., aside to him_) Do as I do, and all will be right!
-(_aside to BETSY, and giving her a paper_) There’s the lease of the
-little shop, back me in all I say.
-
-MRS. M. Now, Mr. Mouser, what have you to say for yourself?
-
-CRUM. (_suddenly bursting into a fit of laughter_) Ha, ha, ha!
-(_aside to BETSY and MOUSER_) Go it. Ha, ha, ha!
-
-(_MRS. MOUSER enraged, walks up Stage, L._)
-
-MOUS. }
-      } (_laughing immoderately_) Ha, ha, ha!
-BET.  }
-
-CRUM. Capital. Ha, ha, ha! (_holding his sides_)
-
-MOUS. Delicious. Ha, ha! (_imitating him_)
-
-BET. Glorious. Ha, ha! (_aside_) I wonder what I’m laughing
-at.
-
-MRS. M. (L.) Mr. Mouser, I insist on your instantly explaining.
-
-CRUM. He can’t speak for laughing--can you, Mouser? (_nudging MOUSER,
-who is looking very serious_)
-
-MOUS. (R. H.) No. (_bursting out again_) Ha, ha, ha!
-
-MRS. M. (_to BETSY_) Young woman, speak this moment! (_angrily_)
-
-BET. (_R. C., alarmed_) Yes, ma’am. It’s not my fault, ma’am, indeed
-it isn’t--(_half crying_)--but you see, ma’am. (_CRUMMY nudges
-her--then suddenly_) Ha, ha, ha!
-
-CRUM. (_crosses L. C._) I must explain after all, I see--Anastasia
-Mouser, not an hour since--and in terms as forcible as they were
-pathetic--you brought a grave and heavy charge against your husband.
-
-MRS. M. (_aside to CRUMMY, and rapidly_) Hush!
-
-CRUM. Yes, Anastasia Mouser--and that charge was, that he was “_too
-attentive by half._” It almost broke his heart. Didn’t it, Mouser?
-
-MOUS. (_affecting pathos_) As near as a toucher!
-
-CRUM. But suddenly a smile lighted up his benevolent
-countenance--(_MOUSER smiles_)--and he said to me, “Crummy, I’ve an
-idea.” Didn’t you, Mouser?
-
-MOUS. Yes, I distinctly said, “Crummy, I’ve an idea.”
-
-BET. I’ll swear to it. I heard him.
-
-MRS. M. (_suddenly_) I see it all.
-
-MOUS. (_aside_) That’s lucky. I’m damned if I do.
-
-CRUM. And I determined to teach you this lesson--that the wife, who
-could complain of too much attention from a husband, could only be cured
-of her error by being led to suspect that that affection was bestowed on
-another. (_gets round behind to R._)
-
-MOUS. Exactly.
-
-MRS. M. Then you have succeeded--for though, Marmaduke, you may love
-me a thousand times better than ever--I’ll never complain again.
-(_embracing MOUSER_)
-
-MOUS. On these conditions, I forgive you.
-
-MRS. M. My dear Cousin Crummy, what do I not owe you?
-
-CRUM. First, pay your debts here. (_taking BETSY by the hand_)
-
-MRS. M. Oh, you were in the plot too?
-
-BET. Yes, ma’am.
-
-MRS. M. And who are you?
-
-BET. Betsy Baker as is--Mrs. Joseph Harris as will he.
-
-MRS. M. And how can I serve you?
-
-BET. By allowing me to serve you--the best of vegetables, and fresh
-oysters every day.
-
-MOUS. We’ll certainly deal with you. Eh, ’Stasy?
-
-MRS. M. But I’ll go to market.
-
-BET. (_to audience_) Do, ma’am--and I hope you will only be one
-out of many customers, at our new shop, where by a supply of the best
-articles we can get--joined with attention, civility, and moderate
-prices, we hope to secure the patronage of the Nobility, Gentry, and the
-Public in general.
-
-  CRUMMY.   BETSY.   MOUSER.   MRS. MOUSER.
-  RIGHT.                              LEFT.
-
-  Curtain.
-
-
-Printed by Thomas Scott, Warwick Court, Holborn.
-
-
-
-
-Transcriber’s Note
-
-This transcription is based on two sets of scans of the Lacy edition.
-The first is available through the Internet Archive from a copy held
-by the University of Warwick:
-
-  archive.org/details/betsybakerortooa0000mort
-
-The second, available through the Hathi Digital Library, is from a
-copy of Volume 8 of Lacy’s Acting Edition of Plays from the University
-of Michigan:
-
-  hdl.handle.net/2027/mdp.39015067453061
-
-The text of _Betsy Barker!_ begins on page 302 of the scans. Other than
-differences in Lacy’s business address on the title page and
-information about the printer at the end, the text of the two scan sets
-appears to be the same. Because of issues related to publication, the
-condition of the scanned copies, and the scanning process itself, both
-sets were used for the transcription.
-
-The following changes were made to the text:
-
-Title page: Milliner’s Holiday--Changed to “Milliners’ Holiday”, the
-correct title of the play.
-
---p. 3: I thought I heard my dear Cousin Crummy outside--Added a period
-to the end of the sentence.
-
---p. 5: _who places it on back of chair, R. of table._--Added a closing
-parenthesis.
-
---p. 7: ’Tisn’t every woman, sir, as get’s a Mouser.--Changed “get’s” to
-“gets”.
-
---p. 9: but it won’t do do--ugh! you Don Juan!--Deleted the second “do”.
-
---p. 9: CRUM. Wink at her,--Changed the comma at the end of the line
-to a period.
-
---p. 10: CRUM. Umph! so, so: (_in a contemptuous tone_)--Changed colon
-to an exclamation mark.
-
---p. 12: such as John, and Timothy, and Marma_dook_--Added a period
-after “Marma_dook_”.
-
---p. 12: MOUS. (_aside_) Mouser, be firm--Added a period after “firm”.
-
---p. 13: (_rushes at BETSY--she avoids him, leaving the veil in his
-hand._--Changed the period after “_hand_” to a closing parenthesis for
-consistency.
-
---p. 15: (_great noise of WOMEN’S voices suddenly heard_--Changed
-“_great_” to “_Great_”.
-
-p. 18: Young woman, speak this moment (_angrily_)--Added an exclamation
-mark after “moment”.
-
-Some inconsistencies, such as the inconsistent hyphenation of the
-phrase “by the bye” and the different spellings of “pshaw”, have not
-been standardized.
-
-
-
-
-*** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK BETSY BAKER! OR, TOO ATTENTIVE BY
-HALF ***
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