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+This eBook, including all associated images, markup, improvements,
+metadata, and any other content or labor, has been confirmed to be
+in the PUBLIC DOMAIN IN THE UNITED STATES.
+
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+the "Copyright How-To" at https://www.gutenberg.org.
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+Project Gutenberg (https://www.gutenberg.org) public repository for
+eBook #64704 (https://www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/64704)
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-The Project Gutenberg eBook of The story of my childhood, by Clara Barton
-
-This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere in the United States and
-most other parts of the world at no cost and with almost no restrictions
-whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms
-of the Project Gutenberg License included with this eBook or online at
-www.gutenberg.org. If you are not located in the United States, you
-will have to check the laws of the country where you are located before
-using this eBook.
-
-Title: The story of my childhood
-
-Author: Clara Barton
-
-Release Date: March 05, 2021 [eBook #64704]
-
-Language: English
-
-Character set encoding: UTF-8
-
-Produced by: Richard Tonsing and the Online Distributed Proofreading Team
- at https://www.pgdp.net (This file was produced from images
- generously made available by The Internet Archive)
-
-*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE STORY OF MY CHILDHOOD ***
-
-
-
-
- THE STORY OF MY CHILDHOOD
-
-
- BY
-
- CLARA BARTON
-
-
- NEW YORK
- THE BAKER & TAYLOR CO.
- 1907
-
-
-
-
- Copyright, 1907, by
- THE JOURNAL PUBLISHING CO.,
- Meriden, Conn.
-
-
- THE JOURNAL PRESS.
-
-
-
-
- THE STORY OF MY CHILDHOOD.
-
-
-
-
- PREFACE
-
-
- _Dear Miss Clara Barton_:
-
- Our classes in The History of the United States are studying about
- you, and we want to know more.
-
- Our teacher says she has seen you. That you live in, or near
- Washington, District of Columbia, and that, although very busy, she
- thought you might be willing to receive a short letter from us, and
- I write to ask you to be so kind as to tell us what you did when you
- were a little girl like us. All of us want to know. I am almost
- thirteen.
-
- If you could send us a few words, we should all be very happy. I
- write for all.
-
- Your little girl friend,
- MARY ST. CLARE,
- * * * New York.
-
- October third, nineteen hundred, six.
-
-
- _Miss Clara Barton_:
-
- I am studying about you in my History, and what you did in the war,
- and I thought I would write and ask you what you did afore you did
- that.
-
- Yours truly,
- JAMES C. HAMLIN.
-
- * * * Center, Iowa,
- May 24th, 1906.
-
-
- =Dear Children of the Schools:=
-
- Your oft-repeated appeals have reached me. They are too many and too
- earnest to be disregarded; and because of them, and because of my
- love for you, I have dedicated this little book to you. I have made
- it small, that you may the more easily read it. I have done it in
- the hope that it may give you pleasure, and in the wish that, when
- you shall be women and men, you may each remember, as I do, that you
- were once a child, full of childish thoughts and action, but of whom
- it was said, “Suffer them to come unto Me, and forbid them not, for
- of such is the Kingdom of Heaven.”
-
- Faithfully your friend,
- CLARA BARTON.
-
- Glen Echo, Maryland,
- May twenty-ninth, 1907.
-
-
-[Illustration]
-
-
-
-
- THE STORY OF MY CHILDHOOD.
-
- BY CLARA BARTON.
-
-
-It was May—the cherry trees were in bloom. For the first time in three
-years I had been able to sit for an evening among a company of persons
-(invalids like myself seeking strength), trying to entertain them with
-some remembrances of bygone days. I see it still, the broad parlor of
-that grand old “Hillside Home,” the mother and inspiration of all the
-hundreds of sanitariums and health restoring institutions of the country
-to-day. I had made my home near it, at the foot of the blossoming
-orchard.
-
-Down among the trees and twittering robins next morning came one of my
-listeners; a broad-shouldered, manly looking man, the face so full of
-benign intelligence that once seen was never to be forgotten. He came in
-at the open door, merrily shaking off the cherry blossoms like large
-flakes of early snow, an entire stranger to me until the previous
-evening. He seated himself and entered into conversation with a familiar
-ease that bespoke the cultured gentleman. After a few minutes he turned
-earnestly to me with: “Miss Barton, I have an errand in coming to you. I
-have a request to make.”
-
-I said I hoped I should be able to comply. He hesitated, as if thinking
-how to commence, but at length said: “I want you to recall and write the
-first thing you remember—the first event that made sufficient impression
-upon you to be remembered.”
-
-I waited in silence and he went on:
-
-“And then I want you to write the next, and then the next, and so on,
-until you have written all—everything connected with yourself and your
-life that you can recall. I want it; we want it; the world wants it, and
-again I ask you to do it. Can you promise me?”
-
-His earnest manner demanded an earnest reply. I could not promise to do
-it, but would promise to consider it.
-
-
-This was in the spring of 1876. I have never forgotten the request
-through all these thirty-one busy years, and have carefully kept the
-promise to consider it; and to-night take my pencil to describe the
-first moment of my life that I remember.
-
-By the dates I must have been nearly two and a half years old, for I was
-born on Christmas day, and now the lilacs were in bloom. It was a rather
-newly built country house where I had commenced my earthly pilgrimage,
-and being the youngest by a dozen or so years, of a family of two
-brothers and two sisters, I naturally lacked child playmates and was
-left much to my own entertainment.
-
-On this occasion I must have been enjoying a ramble by myself in the
-grass-green dooryard, with the broad hand-hewn doorstep and the
-traditional lilacs on either side. Suddenly my resounding cries brought
-the whole family to the door in alarm. My wailing took the form of a
-complaint expressed with my best linguistic ability:
-
-“Baby los’ ’im—pitty bird—baby los’ ’im—baby mos’ caught him—pitty
-bird—baby mos’ caught ’im.”
-
-At length they succeeded in inducing me to listen to a question, “But
-where did it go, Baby?”
-
-Among my heart-breaking sobs I pointed to a small round hole under the
-doorstep. The terrified scream of my mother remained in my memory
-forever more. Her baby had “mos’ caught” a snake.
-
-I recall nothing more for nearly a year and a half, when my terrors
-again took possession. An esteemed and greatly beloved relative of the
-family had died. The funeral services were to be held four miles away.
-All the household would attend excepting myself and the younger of my
-two brothers, David, some sixteen years old, who was deputed to act as
-body guard, doubtless under strict orders.
-
-I can picture the large family sitting room with its four open windows,
-which room I was not to leave, and my guardian was to remain near me.
-Some outside duty called him from the house and I was left to my own
-observations. A sudden thunder shower came up; massive rifts of clouds
-rolled up in the east, and the lightning darted among them like blazing
-fires. The thunder gave them language and my terrified imagination
-endowed them with life.
-
-Among the animals of the farm was a huge old ram, that doubtless upon
-some occasion had taught me to respect him, and of which I had a mortal
-fear. My terrors transformed those rising, rolling clouds into a whole
-heaven full of angry rams, marching down upon me. Again my screams
-alarmed, and the poor brother, conscience stricken that he had left his
-charge, rushed breathless in, to find me on the floor in hysterics, a
-condition of things he had never seen; and neither memory nor history
-relate how either of us got out of it.
-
-In these later years I have observed that writers of sketches, in a
-friendly desire to compliment me, have been wont to dwell upon my
-courage, representing me as personally devoid of fear, not even knowing
-the feeling. However correct that may have become, it is evident I was
-not constructed that way, as in the earlier years of my life I remember
-nothing but fear.
-
-There can be no doubt that my advent into the family was at least a
-novelty, as the last before me was a beautiful blue-eyed, curly-haired
-little girl of a dozen summers. That the event was probably looked for
-with interest is shadowed in the fact of preparations made for it. The
-still existing few pieces in my possession testify to the purchase of a
-full, complete and withal rather aristocratic dinner set of “Old
-Willow,” which did faithful service many years; and the remaining bits
-of dainty pink and white, tell of the tea set to match, in the cups of
-which were told the future of many a merry party that learned their
-reality through still later years, not all pink and white.
-
-I became the seventh member of a household consisting of the father and
-mother, two sisters and two brothers, each of whom for his and her
-intrinsic merits and special characteristics deserves an individual
-history, which it shall be my conscientious duty to portray as far as
-possible as these pages progress. For the present it is enough to say
-that each one manifested an increasing personal interest in the
-newcomer, and as soon as developments permitted, set about instructing
-her in the various directions most in accord with the tastes and
-pursuits of each.
-
-Of the two sisters, the elder was already a teacher. The younger
-followed soon, and naturally my book education became their first care,
-and under these conditions it is little to say, that I have no knowledge
-of ever learning to read, or of a time that I did not do my own story
-reading. The other studies followed very early.
-
-My elder brother, Stephen, was a noted mathematician. He inducted me
-into the mystery of figures. Multiplication, division, subtraction,
-halves, quarters and wholes, soon ceased to be a mystery, and no toy
-equalled my little slate. But the younger brother (he of the thunder
-storm and hysterics) had entirely other tastes, and would have none of
-these things. My father was a lover of horses, and one of the first in
-the vicinity to introduce blooded stock. He had large lands, for New
-England. He raised his own colts; and Highlanders, Virginians and
-Morgans pranced the fields in idle contempt of the solid old farm
-horses.
-
-Of my brother, David, to say that he was fond of horses describes
-nothing; one could almost add that he was fond of nothing else. He was
-the Buffalo Bill of the surrounding country, and here commences his part
-of my education. It was his delight to take me, a little girl five years
-old, to the field, seize a couple of those beautiful young creatures,
-broken only to the halter and bit, and gathering the reins of both
-bridles firmly in hand, throw me upon the back of one colt, spring upon
-the other himself, and catching me by one foot, and bidding me “cling
-fast to the mane,” gallop away over field and fen, in and out among the
-other colts in wild glee like ourselves. They were merry rides we took.
-This was my riding school. I never had any other, but it served me well.
-To this day my seat on a saddle or on the back of a horse is as secure
-and tireless as in a rocking chair, and far more pleasurable. Sometimes,
-in later years, when I found myself suddenly on a strange horse in a
-trooper’s saddle, flying for life or liberty in front of pursuit, I
-blessed the baby lessons of the wild gallops among the beautiful colts.
-
-
-Various as were the topics of instruction pursued by my youthful
-teachers, my father had still others. He was “Captain” Stephen Barton,
-had served as a non-commissioned officer, under General Wayne (Mad
-Anthony) in the French and Indian Wars on the then Western frontiers.
-His soldier habits and tastes never left him. Those were also strong
-political days—Andrew Jackson days—and very naturally my father became
-my instructor in military and political lore. I listened breathlessly to
-his war stories. Illustrations were called for, and we made battles and
-fought them. Every shade of military etiquette was regarded. Generals,
-colonels, captains and sergeants were given their proper place and rank.
-So with the political world; the president, cabinet and leading officers
-of the government were learned by heart, and nothing gratified the keen
-humor of my father more than the parrot-like readiness with which I
-lisped these often difficult names, and the accuracy with which I
-repeated them upon request. My elder sister, with a teacher’s intuition,
-mistrusting that my ideas on these points might be somewhat vague,
-confidentially drew from me one day my impressions in regard to the
-personages whose names I handled so glibly, and to the amusement of the
-family found that I had no conception of their being men like other men,
-but had invested them with miraculous size and importance. I thought the
-president might be as large as the meeting house, and the vice-president
-perhaps the size of the school house. And yet I am not going to say that
-even this instruction had never any value for me. When later, I, like
-all the rest of our country people, was suddenly thrust into the
-mysteries of war, and had to find and take my place and part in it, I
-found myself far less a stranger to the conditions than most women, or
-even ordinary men for that matter; I never addressed a colonel as
-captain, got my cavalry on foot, or mounted my infantry.
-
-My mother, like the sensible woman that she was, seeming to conclude
-that there were plenty of instructors without her, attempted very
-little, but rather regarded the whole thing as a sort of mental
-conglomeration, and looked on with a kind of amused curiosity to see
-what they would make of it. Indeed, I heard her remark many years after,
-that I came out with a more level head than she would have thought
-possible.
-
-
-My first individual ownership was “Button.” In personality (if the term
-be admissible), Button represented a sprightly, medium-sized, very white
-dog, with silky ears, sparkling black eyes and a very short tail. His
-bark spoke for itself. Button belonged to me. No other claim was
-instituted, or ever had been. It was said that on my entrance into the
-family, Button constituted himself my guardian. He watched my first
-steps and tried to pick me up when I fell down. One was never seen
-without the other. He proved an apt and obedient pupil, obeying me
-precept upon precept, if not line upon line. He stood on two feet to ask
-for his food, and made a bow on receiving it, walked on three legs when
-very lame, and so on, after the manner of his crude instruction; went
-everywhere with me through the day, waited patiently while I said my
-prayers and continued his guard on the foot of the bed at night. Button
-shared my board as well as my bed. This fact gave opportunity for an
-amusing bit of sport for the family at my expense, as was their wont.
-
-One would, with considerable ado (to lend importance to the occasion),
-make me a present of some divisible luxury, as cake or candies. This
-called, on my part, for positive orders to all to sit down and share my
-gift with me, as I never partook of it alone. A line or circle was
-formed, comprising the entire family, Button occupying the last seat. I
-then proceeded to make a careful hand count of each, including Button;
-then retired and accurately divided my gift, a piece for each, but not
-myself, as I was not in the count. I then went and gave a piece to every
-one. The fun came in watching the silent wonderment and resignation with
-which I contemplated my own empty hands, a condition of things I could
-not at all comprehend, but made no complaint. Of course, each in
-generous sympathy offered to give back to me his or her piece; but here
-came in my careful mother’s protest and command, so seldom heard. “No,”
-I must not be taught to think I could give a thing and still possess it,
-or its value. A gift must be outright. I must do earnestly all that I
-did. Each might generously give me back a very small piece, to make in
-all no more than would have been my share, and I must be made to
-understand that even this was a favor and not a right. I then went
-around and received my crumbs. This all went well till I came to Button.
-When I held out my hand for his little charity, he had nothing for me. I
-could never understand this discourtesy of Button.
-
-This was one of the many jokes reserved for me as I grew older. But far
-above and beyond it all, as the years sped on, and the hands were still,
-shone the gleam of the far-sighted mother’s watchfulness that neither
-toil could obscure, nor mirth relax.
-
-
-My home instruction was by no means permitted to stand in the way of the
-“regular school,” which consisted of two terms each year, of three
-months each. The winter term included not only the large boys and girls,
-but in reality the young men and young women of the neighborhood. An
-exceptionally fine teacher often drew the daily attendance of advanced
-scholars for several miles. Our district had this good fortune. I
-introduce with pleasure and with reverence the name of Richard Stone; a
-firmly-set, handsome young man of twenty-six or seven, of commanding
-figure and presence, combining all the elements of a teacher with a
-discipline never questioned. His glance of disapproval was a reprimand,
-his frown something he never needed to go beyond. The love and respect
-of his pupils exceeded even their fear. It was no uncommon thing for
-summer teachers to come twenty miles to avail themselves of the winter
-term of “Col.” Stone, for he was a high militia officer, and at that
-young age was a settled man with a family of four little children. He
-had married at eighteen.
-
-I am thus particular in my description of him, both because of my
-childish worship of him, and because I shall have occasion to refer to
-him later. The opening of his first term was a signal for the Barton
-family, and seated on the strong shoulders of my stalwart brother
-Stephen, I was taken a mile through the tall drifts to school. I have
-often questioned if in this movement there might not have been a touch
-of mischievous curiosity on the part of these not at all dull
-youngsters, to see what my performance at school might be.
-
-I was, of course, the baby of the school. I recall no introduction to
-the teacher, but was set down among the many pupils in the by no means
-spacious room, with my spelling book and the traditional slate, from
-which nothing could separate me. I was seated on one of the low benches
-and sat very still. At length the majestic schoolmaster seated himself,
-and taking a primer, called the class of little ones to him. He pointed
-the letters to each. I named them all, and was asked to spell some
-little words, “dog,” “cat,” etc., whereupon I hesitatingly informed him
-that I did “not spell there.” “Where do you spell?” “I spell in
-‘Artichoke,’” that being the leading word in the three syllable column
-in my speller. He good naturedly conformed to my suggestion, and I was
-put into the “artichoke” class to bear my part for the winter, and read
-and “spell for the head.” When, after a few weeks, my brother Stephen
-was declared by the committee to be too advanced for a common school,
-and was placed in charge of an important school himself, my unique
-transportation devolved upon the other brother, David.
-
-No colts now, but solid wading through the high New England drifts.
-
-The Rev. Mr. Menseur of the Episcopal church of Leicester, Mass., if I
-recollect aright, wisely comprehending the grievous inadaptability of
-the school books of that time, had compiled a small geography and atlas
-suited to young children, known as Menseur’s Geography. It was a
-novelty, as well as a beneficence; nothing of its kind having occurred
-to makers of the school books of that day. They seemed not to have
-recognized the existence of a state of childhood in the intellectual
-creation. During the winter I had become the happy possessor of a
-Menseur’s Geography and Atlas. It is questionable if my satisfaction was
-fully shared by others of the household. I required a great deal of
-assistance in the study of my maps, and became so interested that I
-could not sleep, and was not willing that others should, but persisted
-in waking my poor drowsy sister in the cold winter mornings to sit up in
-bed and by the light of a tallow candle, help me to find mountains,
-rivers, counties, oceans, lakes, islands, isthmuses, channels, cities,
-towns and capitals.
-
-[Illustration:
-
- MY BIRTHPLACE.
-]
-
-The next May the summer school opened, taught by Miss Susan Torrey.
-Again, I write the name reverently, as gracing one of the most perfect
-of personalities. I was not alone in my childish admiration, for her
-memory remained a living reality in the town long years after the gentle
-spirit fled. My sisters were both teaching other schools, and I must
-make my own way, which I did, walking a mile with my one precious little
-schoolmate, Nancy Fitts. Nancy Fitts! The playmate of my childhood; the
-“chum” of laughing girlhood; the faithful trusted companion of young
-womanhood, and the beloved life friend that the relentless grasp of time
-has neither changed, nor taken from me.
-
-On entering the wide open door of the inviting schoolhouse, armed with
-some most unsuitable reader, a spelling book, geography, atlas and
-slate, I was seized with an intense fear at finding myself with no
-member of the family near, and my trepidation became so visible that the
-gentle teacher, relieving me of my burden of books, took me tenderly on
-her lap and did her best to reassure and calm me. At length I was given
-my seat, with a desk in front for my atlas and slate, my toes at least a
-foot from the floor, and that became my daily, happy home for the next
-three months.
-
-
-I partially recall an event which occurred when I was five years old;
-the incidents which I could not have personally remembered, must have
-been supplied by later relations. It seems that I was suddenly
-discovered to be alarmingly ill. In response to the terror of the
-moment, the saddle was thrown on Black Stallion, the king of the herd,
-his rough rider mounted and away for the doctor, on “Oxford Plain,” five
-miles away. “Not at home—out on a professional drive.” Followed to
-“Sutton Street,” six miles further on. “Gone.” Back over “Hog Hill” and
-across the town to the west. At length overtaken and brought back at a
-speed little less than that which had called him, for the doctor was a
-fearless driver. The thunder of the flying hoofs and the speed of the
-rider as they passed had alarmed the people. All the town knew the horse
-and the rider, and knew as well that something bad had happened at
-Captain Barton’s. Men dropped their work, harnessed their own teams and
-drove with all haste to see if, perchance, it were anything in which
-they could help. When the doctor arrived, the yard and road were filled
-with people, waiting his coming and diagnosis.
-
-Shortly the verbal bulletin went out: “A sudden, unaccountable and
-probably fatal attack of bloody dysentery and convulsions.” There was no
-more for the sympathetic neighbors to do; they turned sadly away, and
-with them went the report that Captain and Mrs. Barton had lost their
-little baby girl.
-
-[Illustration:
-
- CAPTAIN STEPHEN BARTON, MY FATHER.
-]
-
-[Illustration:
-
- SALLY STONE BARTON, MY MOTHER.
-]
-
-Of all this I have, naturally, no recollection—neither do I know the
-lapse of time till memory again got hold; but her first grasp of the
-event was this: I had occupied as a bed a great cradle which had been
-made for some grown invalid, and preserved in the household. I was
-bolstered up in this cradle, with a little low table at the side on
-which was my first meal of solid food. How I had previously been
-nourished I do not know, but I can see this meal as clearly as if it had
-been yesterday. A piece of brown bread crust, about two inches square,
-rye and Indian, baked on the oven bottom; a tiny wine glass, my
-Christmas gift, full of home-made blackberry cordial, and a wee bit of
-my mother’s well cured old cheese. There was no need to caution me to
-eat slowly; knowing that I could have no more, and in dread of coming to
-the last morsel, I nibbled and sipped and swallowed till I mercifully
-fell asleep from exhaustion.
-
-There are a good many men over the country who would readily believe
-that sometimes, at the end of a long fast, food might have tasted very
-good to me, as it did to them; but no food through the longest fast,
-ever had the relish of that brown bread crust; and no royal table has
-ever been so kingly as that where I presided alone over my own feast.
-
-
-Of the succeeding years, six, seven and eight, I recall little of note
-beyond my studies, excepting a propensity I indulged for writing verses,
-many of which were preserved to amuse, others to tease me for many
-years. Colonel Stone had closed his series of common schools, and opened
-a special institution on “Oxford Plain,” known as the “Oxford High
-School.” Its fame had spread for miles around, and it was regarded as
-the _Ultima Thule_ for teachers, and in a manner a stepping stone or
-opening door to Harvard and Yale.
-
-My brother Stephen had succeeded Col. Stone in the winter terms of the
-home school, and my sisters mainly had charge of them in summer. Thus
-six months of each year offered little change, the others were long
-vacations in which the out-of-doors played by far the most prominent
-part. There were garden and flower beds to be made, choice pet animals
-to look after, a few needy families with little children to be thought
-of, and some sewing to be attempted. These latter were in accordance
-with my mother’s recommendations. I recall no season of dolls, and
-believe they were never included in my curriculum.
-
-Meantime, I fell heir to my mother’s side saddle, a beautiful piece of
-workmanship, and with some difficulty learned to adjust myself to it, a
-rather useless adjustment it seemed to me at the time, which opinion I
-still entertain.
-
-These were years of change in the family. My brothers had become of age
-and were young men of strength, character and enterprise. They had
-“bought out” as the term went, the two large farms of my father, and
-commenced business in earnest for themselves. My father had purchased
-another farm of some three hundred acres, a few miles nearer the center
-of the town.
-
-This was a place of note, having been one of the points used for
-security against the Indians by the old Huguenot Settlers of Oxford, and
-which has made the town historic. Their main defense was on “Fort Hill,”
-several miles to the east. I was naturally greatly interested in the
-changes, and doubtless gave them all the time I could spare from my
-increasing studies. I can recollect even now that my life seemed very
-full for a little girl of eight years.
-
-
-During the preceding winter I began to hear talk of my going away to
-school, and it was decided that I be sent to Col. Stone’s High school,
-to board in his family and go home occasionally. This arrangement, I
-learned in later years, had a double object. I was what is known as a
-bashful child, timid in the presence of other persons, a condition of
-things found impossible to correct at home. In the hope of overcoming
-this undesirable _mauvais honte_, it was decided to throw me among
-strangers.
-
-How well I remember my advent. My father took me in his carriage with a
-little dressing case which I dignified with the appellation of
-“trunk”—something I had never owned. It was April—cold and bare. The
-house and school rooms adjoined, and seemed enormously large. The
-household was also large. The long family table with the dignified
-preceptor, my loved and feared teacher at three years, at its head,
-seemed to me something formidable. There were probably one hundred and
-fifty pupils daily in the ample school rooms, of which I was perhaps the
-youngest, except the colonel’s own children.
-
-My studies were chosen with great care. I remember among them, ancient
-history with charts. The lessons were learned to repeat by rote. I found
-difficulty both in learning the proper names and in pronouncing them, as
-I had not quite outgrown my lisp. One day I had studied very hard on the
-Ancient Kings of Egypt, and thought I had everything perfect, and when
-the pupil above me failed to give the name of a reigning king, I
-answered very promptly that it was “Potlomy.” The colonel checked with a
-glance the rising laugh of the older members of the class, and told me,
-very gently, that the P was silent in that word. I had, however, seen it
-all, and was so overcome by mortification for my mistake, and gratitude
-for the kindness of my teacher, that I burst into tears and was
-permitted to leave the room.
-
-[Illustration:
-
- COLONEL RICHARD C. STONE, MY TEACHER AT THREE YEARS OF AGE.
-]
-
-I am not sure that I was really homesick, but the days seemed very long,
-especially Sundays. I was in constant dread of doing something wrong,
-and one Sunday afternoon I was sure I had found my occasion. It was
-early spring. The tender leaves had put out and with them the buds and
-half open blossoms of the little cinnamon roses, an unfailing
-ornamentation of a well kept New England home of that day. The children
-of the family had gathered in the front yard, admiring the roses and
-daring to pick each a little bouquet. As I stood holding mine, the heavy
-door at my back swung open, and there was the colonel, in his long,
-light dressing gown and slippers, direct from his study. A kindly spoken
-“come with me, Clara,” nearly took my last breath. I followed his
-strides through all the house, up the long flights of stairs, through
-the halls of the school rooms, silently wondering what I had done more
-than the others. I knew he was by no means wont to spare his own
-children. I had my handful of roses—so had they. I knew it was very
-wrong to have picked them, but why more wrong for me than for the
-others? At length, and it seemed to me an hour, we reached the colonel’s
-study, and there, advancing to meet us, was the Reverend Mr. Chandler,
-the pastor of our Universalist church, whom I knew well. He greeted me
-very politely and kindly, and handed the large, open school reader which
-he held, to the colonel, who put it into my hands, placed me a little in
-front of them, and pointing to a column of blank verse, very gently
-directed me to read it. It was an extract from Campbell’s “Pleasures of
-Hope,” commencing, “Unfading hope, when life’s last embers burn.” I read
-it to the end, a page or two. When finished, the good pastor came
-quickly and relieved me of the heavy book, and I wondered why there were
-tears in his eyes. The colonel drew me to him, gently stroked my short
-cropped hair, went with me down the long steps, and told me I could “go
-back to the children and play.” I went much more easy in mind than I
-came, but it was years before I comprehended anything about it.
-
-My studies gave me no trouble, but I grew very tired, felt hungry all
-the time but dared not eat, grew thin and pale. The colonel noticed it,
-and watching me at table found that I was eating little or nothing,
-refusing everything that was offered me. Mistrusting that it was from
-timidity, he had food laid on my plate, but I dared not eat it, and
-finally at the end of the term a consultation was held between the
-colonel, my father and our beloved family physician, Dr. Delano Pierce,
-who lived within a few doors of the school, and it was decided to take
-me home until a little older, and wiser, I could hope. My timid
-sensitiveness must have given great annoyance to my friends. If I ever
-could have gotten entirely over it, it would have given far less
-annoyance and trouble to myself all through life.
-
-To this day, I would rather stand behind the lines of artillery at
-Antietam, or cross the pontoon bridge under fire at Fredericksburg, than
-to be expected to preside at a public meeting.
-
-Referring to the breaking up of the first home, and the removal of my
-father and mother to the new one, it might be well to state the reasons
-for the change. A favorite nephew of my father, Mr. Jeremiah Larned, had
-died after a lingering illness, leaving a widow and four children, from
-thirteen to six years of age, on the fine farm which had descended to
-him from his father, Captain Jeremiah Larned, one of the leading men of
-the town. Unfortunately, during his long illness the farm had become
-involved to the extent of necessitating a sale. This would result in
-depriving the widow and her small children of a home, and in order to
-prevent this, and the disadvantages of a creditor’s sale, it was decided
-that my father and a brother-in-law of Mrs. Larned, Captain Sylvester
-McIntire, who had no children, purchase the farm, and remove there,
-keeping the widow and children with them.
-
-The hill farms—for there were two—were sold to my brothers, who,
-entering into partnership, constituted the well known firm of S. & D.
-Barton, continuing mainly through their lives. Thus I became the
-occupant of two homes, my sisters remaining with my brothers, none of
-whom were married.
-
-The removal to the second home was a great novelty to me. I became
-observant of all changes made. One of the first things found necessary
-on entering a house of such ancient date, was a rather extensive
-renovation, for those days, of painting and papering. The leading
-artisan in that line in the town was Mr. Sylvanus Harris, a courteous
-man of fine manners, good scholarly acquirements, and who, for nearly
-half a lifetime, filled the office of town clerk. The records of Oxford
-will bear his name and his beautiful handwriting as long as its records
-exist.
-
-Mr. Harris was engaged to make the necessary improvements. Painting
-included more then than in these later days of prepared material. The
-painter brought his massive white marble slab, ground his own paints,
-mixed his colors, boiled his oil, calcined his plaster, made his putty
-and did scores of things that a painter of to-day would not only never
-think of doing, but would often scarcely know how to do.
-
-Coming from the newly built house where I was born, I had seen nothing
-of this kind done, and was intensely interested. I must have persisted
-in making myself very numerous, for I was constantly reminded not to
-“get in the gentleman’s way.” But I was not to be set aside. My combined
-interest and curiosity for once overcame my timidity, and encouraged by
-the mild, genial face of Mr. Harris, I gathered the courage to walk up
-in front and address him: “Will you teach me to paint, sir?” “With
-pleasure, little lady, if mama is willing, I should very much like your
-assistance.” The consent was forthcoming, and so was a gown suited to my
-new work, and I reported for duty. I question if any ordinary apprentice
-was ever more faithfully and intelligently instructed in his first
-month’s apprenticeship. I was taught how to hold my brushes, to take
-care of them, allowed to help grind my paints, shown how to mix and
-blend them, how to make putty and use it, to prepare oils and dryings,
-and learned from experience that boiling oil was a great deal hotter
-than boiling water, was taught to trim paper neatly, to match and help
-to hang it, to make the most approved paste, and even varnished the
-kitchen chairs to the entire satisfaction of my mother, which was
-triumph enough for one little girl. So interested was I, that I never
-wearied of my work for a day, and at the end of a month looked on sadly
-as the utensils, brushes, buckets and great marble slab were taken away.
-There was not a room that I had not helped to make better; there were no
-longer mysteries in paint and paper. I knew them all, and that work
-would bring callouses even on little hands.
-
-When the work was finished and everything gone, I went to my room,
-lonesome in spite of myself. I found on my candle stand a box containing
-a pretty little locket, neatly inscribed, “To a faithful worker.” No one
-seemed to have any knowledge of it, and I never gained any.
-
-
-The new home presented a phase of life quite unfamiliar to me. From
-never having had any playmates, I now found myself one of a very lively
-body of six—three boys and three girls nearer of an age than would have
-been probable in the same family. My father had taken charge of the
-young son of a friend—Lovett Stimpson—a fine, robust, intelligent lad of
-about my age, who lived with us.
-
-It would be difficult to describe what this new life, for the time it
-continued, became to me, or indeed I to it. As I look back upon it I
-realize that we were a group of good children with honorable instincts,
-obedient and kindly disposed. In later years none of us could recall a
-serious difference of any kind, no cruelty and no broken faith. It took
-just six, and no more, to keep a secret. But this portrayal of
-characteristics gives no clue to, indeed casts no shadow, of what we
-were capable of accomplishing in a day. The territorial domain comprised
-something over three hundred acres. We knew it all. From “Peakèd Hill,”
-to “Jim Brown’s”—across the “Flowed Swamp,” three miles, we knew every
-rod of it. Old “Rocky Hills,” so high, so steep, so thickly wooded that
-a horse would never attempt them, were no strangers. We knew where the
-best chestnuts were. We explored the “Devil’s Den,” in spite of the
-tradition that it was an abode for the tempters of Eve. The “French
-River,” that later carried all the factories of North Oxford, spread
-itself out in lazy rest, after its rugged leaps, as it meandered through
-the broad, beautiful meadows and interval land, the pride of the farm.
-
-A long hewn log or pole stretched across it in its narrowest, deepest
-place. I would not dare to say how long, but it could not have been more
-than fourteen inches wide, and swayed and teetered from the moment the
-foot touched till it left it. The waters glided still and black beneath.
-It was there as a convenience for the working men in crossing from one
-field to another; but if ever a week day passed that we did not cross it
-several times, we knew one duty had been neglected. The only sawmill in
-that section of the town was a part of my father’s possessions. The
-great up-and-down saw cut its angry way through the primeval forest
-giants from morning till night, and not unfrequently from night till
-morning. The long saw-carriage ran far out over the raceway at the rear
-end. How were we to withstand the temptation of riding out over the
-rushing mill stream twenty feet below, and then coming quickly in as the
-sawn log was drawn back for another cut? Hurt? Never one of us. Killed?
-We knew not such a thing could be.
-
-There were three temptingly great barns, scattered between the house
-premises and the interval. Was there ever a better opportunity for
-hide-and-seek, for climbing and jumping? It would have been no athlete
-at all that couldn’t jump from the great beams to the hay, in scant
-summer time before the new hay came in, and land on the feet safely.
-There was, and still is, directly in front of the house, a small,
-circular, natural pond, fed by springs in the bottom and surrounded by a
-cordon of hills forming a basin in which the little pond basks and
-sleeps through the summer, but in winter becomes a thing of beauty and a
-joy forever to the skater. From its sheltered position it freezes
-smooth, even, and glare, and has no danger spots. I dwell upon this
-description, for that little pond was my early love; the home of my
-beautiful flock of graceful ducks. The boys were all fine skaters; I
-wanted to skate, too, but skating had not then become customary, in
-fact, not even allowable for girls; and when, one day, my father saw me
-sitting on the ice attempting to put on a pair of skates, he seemed
-shocked, recommended me to the house, and said something about
-“tomboys.” But this did not cure my desire; nor could I understand why
-it was not as well for me to skate as for the boys; I was as strong,
-could run as fast and ride better, indeed they would not have presumed
-to approach me with a horse. Neither could the boys understand it, and
-this misconception led them into an error and me into trouble.
-
-One clear, cold, starlight Sunday morning, I heard a low whistle under
-my open chamber window. I realized that the boys were out for a skate
-and wanted to communicate with me. On going to the window, they informed
-me that they had an extra pair of skates and if I could come out they
-would put them on me and “learn” me how to skate. It was Sunday morning;
-no one would be up till late, and the ice was so smooth and “glare.” The
-stars were bright, the temptation was too great. I was in my dress in a
-moment and out. The skates were fastened on firmly, one of the boy’s
-wool neck “comforters” tied about my waist, to be held by the boy in
-front. The other two were to stand on either side, and at a signal the
-cavalcade started. Swifter and swifter we went, until at length we
-reached a spot where the ice had been cracked and was full of sharp
-edges. These threw me, and the speed with which we were progressing, and
-the distance before we could quite come to a stop, gave terrific
-opportunity for cuts and wounded knees. The opportunity was not lost.
-There was more blood flowing than any of us had ever seen. Something
-must be done. Now all of the wool neck comforters came into requisition;
-my wounds were bound up, and I was helped into the house, with one knee
-of ordinary respectable cuts and bruises; the other frightful. Then the
-enormity of the transaction and its attendant difficulties began to
-present themselves, and how to surround (for there was no possibility of
-overcoming them), was the question.
-
-The most feasible way seemed to be to say nothing about it, and we
-decided to all keep silent; but how to conceal the limp? I must have no
-limp, but walk well. I managed breakfast without notice. Dinner not
-quite so well, and I had to acknowledge that I had slipped down and hurt
-my knee a little. This gave my limp more latitude, but the next day it
-was so decided, that I was held up and searched. It happened that the
-best knee was inspected; the stiff wool comforter soaked off, and a
-suitable dressing given it. This was a great relief, as it afforded
-pretext for my limp, no one observing that I limped with the wrong knee.
-
-But the other knee was not a wound to heal by first intention,
-especially under its peculiar dressing, and finally had to be revealed.
-The result was a surgical dressing and my foot held up in a chair for
-three weeks, during which time I read the “Arabian Nights” from end to
-end. As the first dressing was finished, I heard the surgeon say to my
-father: “that was a hard case, Captain, but she stood it like a
-soldier.” But when I saw how genuinely they all pitied, and how tenderly
-they nursed me, even walking lightly about the house not to jar my
-swollen and fevered limbs, in spite of my disobedience and detestable
-deception (and persevered in at that), my Sabbath breaking and
-unbecoming conduct, and all the trouble I had caused, conscience
-revived, and my mental suffering far exceeded my physical. The Arabian
-Nights were none too powerful a soporific to hold me in reasonable
-bounds. I despised myself and failed to sleep or eat.
-
-My mother, perceiving my remorseful condition, came to the rescue,
-telling me soothingly, that she did not think it the worst thing that
-could have been done, that other little girls had probably done as
-badly, and strengthened her conclusions by telling me how she once
-persisted in riding a high mettled unbroken horse in opposition to her
-father’s commands, and was thrown. My supposition is that she had been a
-worthy mother of her equestrian son.
-
-The lesson was not lost on any of the group. It is very certain that
-none of us, boys or girls, indulged in further smart tricks. Twenty-five
-years later, when on a visit to the old home, long left, I saw my
-father, then a grey-haired grandsire, out on the same little pond,
-fitting the skates carefully to the feet of his little twin
-granddaughters, holding them up to make their first start in safety, I
-remembered my wounded knees, and blessed the great Father that progress
-and change were among the possibilities of His people.
-
-I never learned to skate. When it became fashionable I had neither time
-nor opportunity.
-
-
-Along these lines I recall another disappointment, which, though not
-vital, was still indicative of the times. During the following winter a
-dancing school was opened in the hall of the one hotel on Oxford Plain,
-some three miles from us. It was taught by a personal friend of my
-father, a polished gentleman, resident of a neighboring town, and
-teacher of English schools. By some chance I got a glimpse of the
-dancing school at the opening, and was seized with a most intense desire
-to go and learn to dance. With my peculiar characteristics it was
-necessary for me to want a thing very much before mentioning it; but
-this overcame me, especially as the cordial teacher took tea with us one
-evening before going to his school, and spoke very interestingly of his
-classes. I even went so far as to beg permission to go. The dance was in
-my very feet. The violin haunted me. “Ladies change” and “all hands
-round” sounded in my ears and woke me from my sleep at night.
-
-The matter was taken up in family council. I was thought to be very
-young to be allowed to go to a dancing school in a hotel. Dancing at
-that time was at a very low ebb in good New England society, and
-besides, there was an active revival taking place in both of the
-orthodox churches (or rather one a church and the other a society
-without a church), and it might not be a wise, nor even a courteous,
-thing to allow. Not that our family, with its well known liberal
-proclivities, could have the slightest objection on that score; still,
-like St. Paul, if meat were harmful to their brethren they would not eat
-it, and thus it was decided that I could not go. The decision was
-perfectly conscientious, kindness itself, and probably wise; but I have
-wondered if they could have known (as they never did) how severe the
-disappointment was, the tears it cost me in my little bed in the dark,
-the music and the master’s voice still sounding in my ears, if this
-knowledge would have weighed in the decision.
-
-I have listened to a great deal of music since then, interspersed with
-very positive orders, and which generally called for “all hands round”
-but the dulcet notes of the violin and the “ladies change” were missing.
-Neither did I ever learn to dance.
-
-
-From the peculiar gifts that were wont to be made me in those days, I am
-led to infer that my peculiarities in the direction of the dumb animal
-part of creation, were decidedly noticeable. On one occasion an English
-gentleman, a friend of the family, and, like my father, a promoter of
-fine stock, had been paying us a visit, and upon returning to his home,
-near Boston, sent to me a beautifully soft, wool-wadded basket
-containing two and a half dozens of fine, large duck’s eggs. It was not
-difficult to find among the numerous feathered inhabitants of the barns,
-three domestically inclined, motherly hens, willing to take charge of
-the big tinted eggs, albeit not their own, giving to them the strictest
-attention. The result was, that within four weeks, the shallow end of
-the little pond was covered with tiny balls of yellow down floating
-calmly and majestically on the water—darting rapidly this way and that,
-for every fly or bug so unfortunate as to appear, while the shore
-presented the scene of three of the most distracted mothers that
-imagination can picture. There was nothing majestic nor calm in their
-motions, and the tones which called the recreant broods were far from
-soothing; but like the mothers of other wayward, unnatural offspring,
-the lesson of submission was theirs to learn; and through resignation at
-length came peace.
-
-In the course of two or three years my flock of ducks became so numerous
-as to attract the attention of the wild ducks, passing over from the
-northern lakes to the southern bays, and it was no uncommon thing for an
-entire flock, wearied with a long journey, to alight for a few days’
-rest. My tame ducks learned athletics from these native divers and
-dippers, and the scene became at times not only interesting, but
-inspiring and instructive.
-
-It is very evident to me, as I remember it, that my aspirations were by
-no means satisfied with an interest in these small specimens, such as
-ducks, hens, turkeys, geese, dogs, cats, etc., of which I had no lack.
-This not including canaries, of which I received from time to time a
-number as gifts; but I had no pleasure in them, and although doubtless
-the most inhuman thing that could have been done, I invariably opened
-the cage door and let them out.
-
-But all that farm land, the three great barns and accompanying yards,
-called for cattle. A small herd of twenty-five fine milch cows came
-faithfully home each day with the lowering of the sun, for the milking
-and extra supper which they knew awaited them. With the customary greed
-of childhood I had laid claim to three or four of the handsomest and
-tamest of them, and believing myself to be their real owner, I went
-faithfully every evening to the yards to receive and look after them. My
-little milk pail went as well, and I became proficient in an art never
-forgotten.
-
-One afternoon, on going to the barn as usual, I found no cows there; all
-had been driven somewhere else. As I stood in the corner of the great
-yard alone, I saw three or four men—the farm hands—with one stranger
-among them wearing a long, loose shirt or gown. They were all trying to
-get a large red ox onto the barn floor, to which he went very
-reluctantly. At length they succeeded. One of the men carried an axe,
-and stepping a little to the side and back, raised it high in the air
-and brought it down with a terrible blow. The ox fell, I fell too; and
-the next I knew I was in the house on a bed, and all the family about
-me, with the traditional camphor bottle, bathing my head to my great
-discomfort. As I regained consciousness they asked me what made me fall?
-I said “some one struck me.” “Oh, no,” they said, “no one struck you,”
-but I was not to be convinced and proceeded to argue the case with an
-impatient putting away of the hurting hands, “then what makes my head so
-sore?” Happy ignorance! I had not then learned the mystery of nerves.
-
-I have, however, a very clear recollection of the indignation of my
-father (my mother had already expressed herself on the subject), on his
-return from town and hearing what had taken place. The hired men were
-lined up and arraigned for “cruel carelessness.” They had “the
-consideration to keep the cattle away,” he said, “but allowed that
-little girl to stand in full view.” Of course, each protested he had not
-seen me. I was altogether too friendly with the farm hands to hear them
-blamed, especially on my account, and came promptly to their side,
-assuring my father that they had not seen me, and that it was “no
-matter,” I was “all well now.” But, singularly, I lost all desire for
-meat, if I had ever had it—and all through life to the present, have
-only eaten it when I must for the sake of appearance, or as
-circumstances seemed to make it the more proper thing to do. The
-bountiful ground has always yielded enough for all my needs and wants.
-
-
-I had been eleven years old the Christmas before. Great changes had
-taken place during the two or three preceding years. My energetic
-brothers had outgrown farming, sold their two farms on the hill, and
-come down and bought of my father all his water power on the French
-River, as well as all obtainable timber land in the vicinity. The
-staunch old up-and-down saw still stood in its majesty for the handling
-of the forest giants too massive for a lesser power, but it was
-surrounded by a cordon of belted “circulars,” whirling with a speed that
-quite obscured their motion, screaming, screeching and throwing out the
-product of their work in all directions; shingles, laths, thin boards,
-bolters and slitters. New dams had been thrown across the shifty,
-flighty stream, to be swept away in the torrents of the spring freshets
-and floating ice, but replaced at once with an obstinate manliness and
-enterprise that scarcely admitted of an interruption in the work.
-
-In a new building along the side of the dam, the great burr-stones of
-that date ground out the wholesome grain of all the surrounding country,
-and where I had first seen it under the control of the one lone sawyer,
-now fifty of the strongest working men that could be procured, and great
-four-horse teams covered the once quiet mill-yard. The entire line of
-factories above had caught the inspiration, and the French River
-villages of North Oxford were models of growth and activity.
-
-One sister had married and settled in her home near by, and a wife had
-come into my eldest brother’s home. Mrs. Larned, the widow to whose
-assistance my father had gone in her early desolation, had found her
-children now so well grown as to make it advisable to remove to one of
-the factory villages, where she became a popular boarding house keeper,
-and her children operatives in the mill.
-
-Thus, I was again left to myself. The schools were not the best, but all
-that could be done for me, in or out of them, was done. I had been
-especially well taught to sew and liked it, but knitting was beyond me.
-I could not be held to it, and it was given up.
-
-Through the confirmed invalidism of my elder sister, Dorothea, I lost
-her beautiful guidance, but the watchful care of my younger sister, now
-Mrs. Vassall, was truly pathetic. She never lost sight of my welfare,
-and her fine literary taste was a constant inspiration.
-
-
-While thus in the midst of my various pursuits and vocations, an
-accidental turn in my wheel of fortune changed my entire course (for a
-time at least) and how much bearing, if any, it may have had on the
-future, I have never been able to determine. I have spoken of the
-younger of my two brothers, of the firm of S. & D. Barton, as a fine
-horseman. He was more than that. In these days he would have been an
-athlete. The two men were but two years apart in age, of fine
-disposition and excellent physical strength, integrity and courage; of
-fine disposition and equable temper; yet neither of them men with whom
-an opponent would carelessly or tauntingly covet an encounter. The
-younger, David, from his physical activity and daring, was always
-selected for any feat of danger to be performed.
-
-These were days when even buildings were “raised by hand.” All the
-neighborhood was expected to participate in a “raising.” Upon one
-occasion, an uncommonly large barn, with what was then still more
-uncommon, a cellar beneath, was to be raised. The rafters must be
-affixed to the ridgepole, and David Barton was assigned to this duty.
-While in its performance, a timber on which he was standing, having been
-weakened by an unobserved knot, suddenly gave way, and he fell directly
-to the first floor, striking on his feet on another timber near the
-bottom of the cellar. Without falling he leaped to the ground, and after
-a few breathless minutes declared himself unhurt, but was not permitted
-to return aloft. It was spoken of as a “remarkable adventure,” “a
-wonderful escape,” etc., and for a few days all went well, with the
-exception of a slight and quite unaccustomed headache, which continued
-to increase as the July weather progressed. At length he showed symptoms
-of fever; the family physician was called, and here commenced a system
-of medical treatment quite unknown to our physicians of the present day,
-other than as results of historical research and milestones of
-scientific advancement.
-
-He was pronounced in a “settled fever,” which must not be “broken up,”
-and could only be held in check by reducing the strength of the patient.
-He had “too much blood,” was “too vigorous,” “just the patient for a
-fever to ‘go hard with,’” it was said. Accordingly, the blood was taken
-from time to time, as long as it seemed safe to do so. The terrible pain
-in the head continued and blisters were applied to all possible places,
-in the hope of withdrawing the pain. Sleepless, restless, in agony both
-physical and mental, his case grew desperate. He had been my ideal from
-earliest memory. I was distressed beyond measure at his condition. I had
-been his little protégée, his companion, and in his nervous wretchedness
-he clung to me. Thus, from the first days and nights of illness, I
-remained near his side. The fever ran on and over all the traditional
-turning points, seven, fourteen, twenty-one days. I could not be taken
-away from him except by compulsion, and he was unhappy until my return.
-I learned to take all directions for his medicines from his physician
-(who had eminent counsel) and to administer them like a genuine nurse.
-
-My little hands became schooled to the handling of the great, loathsome,
-crawling leeches which were at first so many snakes to me, and no
-fingers could so painlessly dress the angry blisters; and thus it came
-about, that I was the accepted and acknowledged nurse of a man almost
-too ill to recover.
-
-Finally, as the summer passed, the fever gave way, and for a wonder the
-patient did not. No physician will doubt that I had given him poison
-enough to have killed him many times over, if suitably administered with
-that view. He will also understand the condition in which the patient
-was left. They had certainly succeeded in reducing his strength.
-
-Late in the autumn he stood on his feet for the first time since July.
-Still sleepless, nervous, cold, dyspeptic—a mere wreck of his former
-self. None were so disturbed over his condition as his kind-hearted, and
-for those days, skillful physicians, who had exhausted their knowledge
-and poured out their sympathy and care like water, on the patient who,
-for his manliness and bravery, they had come to respect, and for his
-suffering learned to love with a parent’s tenderness.
-
-It now became a matter of time. Councils of physicians for twenty miles
-around sat in judgment on the case. They could only recommend; and more
-blisters, setons and various methods of external irritation for the
-withdrawal of internal pain followed, from month to month and season to
-season. All these were my preferred care.
-
-I realize now how carefully and apprehensively the whole family watched
-the little nurse, but I had no idea of it then. I thought my position
-the most natural thing in the world; I almost forgot that there was an
-outside to the house.
-
-This state of things continued with little change—a trifling gain of
-strength in my patient at times—for two years, when, entirely
-unexpected, the most tabooed and little known of all medical treatments,
-restored him to health. It is to be remembered at that date there was no
-homeopathy, no hydropathy, no sanitariums, no Christian Science, nothing
-but the regular school of allopathic medicine. Medical practitioners,
-baffled by lack of science, surrounded by ignorance on all such subjects
-and more or less of superstition, struggled manfully on toward the
-blessed light of the scientific knowledge of to-day, which they have so
-richly attained.
-
-It was not to be wondered at that the slightest departure from the
-beaten track, under these conditions, was held as unpardonable and
-punishable quackery; and that the first “ism” that broke through the
-defense fought the fight of a forlorn hope. There are young physicians
-of good historical knowledge to-day, who have never learned that
-“Thompsonianism” was that “ism”; that Dr. Samuel Thompson fought that
-fight, and that they are pursuing many excellent methods which are the
-result of his thought; that it was he who first advanced the theory (in
-this country at least,) that fever was not the foe, but the friend of
-the patient; that it was simply unequal animal warmth and vigor—that
-people did not have too much blood any more than they had too much bone,
-and could as ill afford to lose it; that if the blood were too thick, or
-too thin, or of a bad quality, taking away a portion of it would not
-rectify or purify the remainder. That a blister was not likely to soothe
-a nervous patient to sleep, or to extract a pain, save by creating a
-greater. But that a better way to treat disturbances was to open the
-pores generally, by a vapor bath—designated “Thompson’s Steam Box,” and
-greatly to be feared. He and his few followers were known as “Steam
-Doctors”—and the public warned against them.
-
-It happened that one of his disciples, a “Steam Doctor,” residing in a
-neighboring town (I will write his name in grateful remembrance—Dr. Asa
-McCullum), had watched this remarkable case with interest and pity,
-convinced that the right remedies had not reached it.
-
-He ventured at length to approach my father on the subject; then my
-brother, who was willing to attempt anything short of suicide. The
-result was the removal of the patient to the home asylum of the doctor
-for treatment. In three weeks he was so far restored as to return home
-and take his place in his business, like one come back from the dead. I
-remember the greetings—the tears of gladness on the blessed face of our
-family physician when he came to welcome him home: “And so, David,
-something good has come out of Nazareth.”
-
-I was again free; my occupation gone. Life seemed very strange and idle
-to me. I wondered that my father took me to ride so much, and that my
-mother hoped she could make me some new clothes now, for in the two
-years I had not grown an inch, had been to school one-half day, and had
-gained one pound in weight.
-
-This singular mode of life, at so young an age, could not have been
-without its characteristic effects. In some respects it had served to
-heighten serious defects. The seclusion had increased the troublesome
-bashfulness. I had grown even more timid, shrinking and sensitive in the
-presence of others; absurdly careful and methodical for a child; afraid
-of giving trouble by letting my wants be known, thereby giving the very
-pain I sought to avoid, and instead of feeling that my freedom gave me
-time for recreation or play, it seemed to me like time wasted, and I
-looked anxiously about for some useful occupation.
-
-As usual, my blessed sister, Mrs. Vassall, came to the rescue. Taking
-advantage of an all-absorbing love of poetry (which I always had) she
-made a weapon of it by providing me with the poetical works of Walter
-Scott, which I had not read, and proposed that we read them together. We
-naturally commenced with “The Lady of the Lake.” I was immediately
-transported to the Highlands and the Bonny Braes, plucking the heather
-and broom and guiding the skiff across Loch Katrine, listening to the
-sweet warning song of poor crazed Blanche of Devon, thrilling with,
-“Saxon, I am Roderick Dhu,” and trudging along with the old minstrel and
-Ellen to Sterling tower and the Court of Fitz-James. “Marmion” followed,
-and then all the train of English poetry that a child could take in.
-
-
-My second individual ownership was “Billy.” His personality (which I
-never questioned), was represented by a high stepping brown Morgan
-horse, with glossy coat, slim legs, pointed ears, long curly black mane
-and tail, and weighing nearly nine hundred pounds.
-
-Although a good driver, his forte was the saddle. His gait (or rather, I
-should say, gaits) was first a delightful single-foot; but which he had
-the faculty of changing to a rack, or pace or trot, as occasion or haste
-seemed to call for; and as a last resort, he could cover them all by
-something one does not like to name; but we only used that gait on
-extraordinary occasions. My father had purchased and given Billy to me
-when about ten years old. The same figures will do for us both.
-
-I had three or four neighboring girl associates who also had their own
-or family horses, and our riding parties were the events of the season.
-Anticipating the deep, forbidding snows of the winter in New England, we
-had the custom of celebrating Thanksgiving day by a final party for the
-season. Even this was cold and had often some traces of snow.
-
-On the present occasion there were but three of us, Martha, Eveline and
-myself. Martha had a fine sorrel trotter, Eveline a spirited
-single-footer. The day was cold and threatening. Our ride was to
-Worcester, some ten miles. When about three miles from home, on our
-return, a blinding snowstorm set in, literally a gale. This either
-frightened or excited Eveline’s horse, which, mastering the situation by
-a quick toss of the head, and catch of the bit (a trick he evidently
-understood), dropped his single-foot as something adapted to ladies and
-little girls, and fell to using all the feet he had, the best he knew.
-Awed by her peril, but powerless to aid, we could only follow our
-fleeing comrade to be ready to help when she should fall, as we were
-sure she must. The gale mercilessly increased; so did our speed. We kept
-nearly alongside, every horse upon the “dead run.”
-
-We must have presented a striking miniature picture of the veritable
-“Three Furies” on a rampage. A country road and no one passing. Martha
-and myself each rushing directly past our own homes unobserved in the
-storm, till at length we rounded the curve that brought the flying horse
-in sight of his own stable. They had sighted the coming cavalcade. The
-gates were thrown wide open, and a man stationed on either side to catch
-both horse and rider when they should enter.
-
-Seeing the worn-out girl once safely in her father’s arms, we turned
-away, with an entirely new chapter added to our very limited stock of
-equestrian knowledge. We were all alive and unharmed, and I alone am
-here now to tell the little stories of childhood’s terrifying dangers
-and miraculous escapes.
-
-
-We were midway between the two district schools, a long mile and a half
-from either, and it frequently chanced that a season or two of
-indifferent schools followed each other in train. The experiment of
-sending me away to school was not to be repeated, and accordingly I was
-undertaken at home. My mathematical brother, Stephen, took charge of
-that department, and Mrs. Vassall the other needful studies, while my
-former patient, brother David, the equestrian of early days, now grown
-strong and well, kept to his rule of practical teaching. I recall
-vividly the half impatient frown on his fine face when he would see me
-do an awkward thing, however trivial. He detested false motions; wanted
-the thing done rightly the first time. If I started to go somewhere, go,
-and not turn back; if to do something, do it. I must throw a ball or a
-stone with an under swing like a boy and not a girl, and must make it go
-where I sent it, and not fall at my feet and foolishly laugh at it. If I
-would drive a nail, strike it fairly on the head every time, and not
-split the board. If I would draw a screw, turn it right the first time.
-I must tie a square knot that would hold, and not tie my horse with a
-slip noose and leave him to choke himself. These were little things,
-still a part of the instructions not to be undervalued. In the rather
-practical life which has sometimes fallen to me, I have wondered if they
-were not among the most useful, and if that handsome frown were not one
-of my best lessons.
-
-At length there came a school that could be utilized, and my family
-instructors were relieved. The school to the north of us was undertaken
-by Mr. Lucian Burleigh, a younger member of the noted Burleigh family,
-and brother of William H. Burleigh, the poet. It seemed very strange to
-me to be in school again. I had been so long accustomed to govern
-myself, in a manner, that I wondered how any one should need others to
-govern them. If scholars came there to learn, why should they try, or
-want, to do anything else? There is no doubt that I seemed equally
-unaccountable and prudish to them.
-
-[Illustration:
-
- MR. JONATHAN DANA,
-
- MY OXFORD TEACHER.
-]
-
-The quick perceptions of the teacher at once comprehended the
-conditions, and he treated me with the greatest consideration and
-kindness; advising such changes and additions as seemed suitable, and
-most in accord with the studies I had taken with me; even, as I could
-later see, forming some new classes in branches outside of the customary
-routine of the public school; as elementary astronomy, ancient history,
-and the “Science of Language”; his own literary and scholarly tastes
-pointing significantly to the latter. If Milton’s “Paradise Lost,” and
-Pollok’s “Course of Time” were ever dissected, transposed, analyzed and
-“parsed” by any class of vigilant youths, it was then and there.
-
-The winter passed all too soon. A mile and a half through the snow had
-been only a pleasure. Our faithful, brotherly teacher left us, never to
-return; but the still brotherly friendship between teacher and pupil
-remained unbroken until his summons came.
-
-After a busy summer a similarly good fortune awaited me in the next
-winter term of school. Mr. Jonathan Dana, one of Oxford’s most scholarly
-men and a teacher of note, commenced the winter school to the south of
-us. I have no words to describe the value of his instruction, nor the
-pains he took with his eager pupil. I had been far too thoroughly
-drilled to require time for the customary classes of the public school,
-but did require instruction in branches forbidden in their lawful
-curriculum.
-
-In spite of the labor of a school of sixty pupils of all ages, with no
-assistant, I was permitted to take philosophy, chemistry and elementary
-Latin—all to be taught outside of school hours. With no laboratory at
-hand, I have often marveled at the amount of experimental instruction he
-found it possible to give me. So generally appreciated was the
-excellence of the school that the term was continued beyond the
-customary three months. My grateful homage for my inestimable teacher
-and his interest in his early pupil, became memories of a lifetime, and
-the social acquaintance was never interrupted until the late summons
-came to him, white haired and venerable, to go up higher.
-
-My family were all gratified by my progress and my deportment as a
-student, but I was still diffident, timid, non-committal, afraid of
-giving trouble and difficult to understand. My physical growth had not
-met their expectations nor their hopes. I grew slowly and was still a
-“little girl” in appearance. This went to show how positive the early
-check had been, and how slowly the repairs were made, for it was said
-that I gained an inch in height between the ages of twenty and
-twenty-one.
-
-
-The firm of my brothers, S. & D. Barton, had added to their ever
-increasing business the manufacture of cloth. A factory had been erected
-and a partnership entered into with Messrs. Paul and Samuel Parsons, two
-elegant gentlemen among the earlier manufacturers of satinet in this
-country, and the new factory was known as “The Satinet Mill of North
-Oxford.” A very superior article of cloth was made, the operatives
-almost entirely American, and very largely from families of the
-neighborhood or surrounding country. Occupations for women were few in
-those days, and often the school and music teacher, weary of the
-monotonous life, sought change in the more remunerative loom of the
-factory. I name this as a matter of history, as the North Oxford Mills
-were the third, if not the second after Slater, who produced the first
-spindle and power looms in America, at the risk of his life.
-
-I had been taken through the new factory by my brother; had seen these
-young persons at work; watched the shuttles fly under the deft fingers
-of the weavers, and felt that there was something I could do. There was
-no school, I was idle. After a little quiet reflection I astonished the
-family by announcing my desire to go into the mill. I wanted to weave
-cloth. At first they tried laughing at me. I was too sensitive to be
-dealt with in that way. Then reasoning. I was “too small”; it was not a
-proper thing for me to do. But I was not easily dissuaded. One day in
-the midst of a family council, my brother Stephen chanced to call. He
-listened attentively, saw that I was anxious and troubled, and was
-giving trouble to others as well. At length he spoke. Addressing my
-mother, he said: “I do not see anything so very much out of the way in
-the request. I wonder if we are not drawing the lines too tightly on our
-little sister? A few years ago she wanted to learn to dance; this was
-denied as frivolous and improper; now she asks to work. She took up a
-work by herself and did it two years, a work that no child would be
-expected to do, and did it well. She is certainly a properly behaved
-little girl, and I cannot understand why we should trouble ourselves or
-her so much concerning the proprieties of her life. For my part, I am
-very willing to arrange a pair of looms for her and let her try.” A hush
-fell on the group. My anxious mother seemed relieved. The big brother
-had spoken. I crept shyly up under his stalwart arm and kissed his
-bearded cheek.
-
-The next day a low platform was run along in front of a pair of new,
-glossy looms, just by the desk of the overseer of the room. A good
-weaver was given charge to instruct me, and when I stepped upon that
-platform and looked down upon the evenly drawn warp and the swiftly
-flying shuttles, and felt that they were mine, I imagine the sensation
-was akin to that of a young queen whose foot first presses the throne. I
-was too carefully watched to permit a mistake, and too interested to be
-tired. Before the end of the week I was able to discharge my
-instructress, or it is more probable she discharged herself in view of
-my self-sufficiency. I could scarcely wait in the morning for the bell
-to call me, early as it would be, and I walked up that long, outside
-flight of black, greasy stairs and entered that whirring, clashing room
-with as much pride and satisfaction as I would have entered the finest
-and most highly embellished schoolroom. I observed that the help all
-looked at me as I went in, and McDonald, the overseer, always raised his
-Scotch cap a bit by the tassel, or touched his finger to the rim,
-fitting so closely to his high forehead. I thought I ought to make some
-acknowledgement of this, and always did so, but could not understand it.
-I told my mother about it and asked her what he did it for? She said
-that it was probably because I was “so little.” That perhaps if I were
-as large as the other girls he might not do it. I thought this a
-reasonable solution and was satisfied.
-
-I finished my first week, commenced my second, and went through with no
-assistance. On Saturday my webs were cut from the looms, examined and
-pronounced of first quality, showing great care. I took my proud record
-home. The next day (Sunday), Mr. Samuel Parsons, with the prudent care
-that could not trust even the watchman too implicitly, went into the
-mill by himself, ascending to the picker room in the top story, where
-the light, oiled wool was piled in great quantities. He casually placed
-his hand upon it in passing, and observing that it felt warm, he plunged
-his arm in to lift it. The flames enveloped him. He ran at full speed
-the length of the building to the bell rope. The fire was there almost
-before him. He gave two strokes, when the flames drove him from the
-room; they licked down the air shafts and belt holes, lapping up the oil
-like so much food, as it was.
-
-The perfection of the magnificent fire departments of the present day
-was far in the future then. In three hours it was all over, and the new
-North Oxford Satinet Mills were a smoking pile of rubbish, a thing of
-the past. No heart was heavier than mine. The strong, energetic brothers
-knew that rebuilding would commence at once, but I mourned without hope.
-
-If ever there were lost or omitted a well-turned joke or a bit of humor
-by the various members of the Barton family it was clearly an accident,
-no such omission being ever intended; and thus it was suggested to me,
-that, as the fire was manifestly a case of spontaneous combustion, could
-it have been that I worked so fast that the friction set the mill on
-fire? That joke on me lasted many years. The mill was rebuilt, as well
-as several others, some to be burned, some to be sold; but I had found
-other occupations more congenial to the other members of the household,
-it is to be hoped, if not to me.
-
-The recital of this incident by myself, or some one else, has given rise
-to the bit of romance cropping out occasionally, in the sketches one
-sees, that I was a factory girl and earned the money to pay off the
-mortgage on my father’s farm. I wish the first statement might have been
-true. Nothing to-day would gratify me more than to know that I had been
-one of those self-reliant, intelligent, American-born girls like our
-sweet poetess, Lucy Larcom, and like her had stood before the power
-looms in the early progress of the manufactories of our great and
-matchless country. I fear that my plain, simple facts will rob many a
-fancy sketch of its brightest tints, as in this instance. I am compelled
-to confess in regard to the second statement, that my father never had a
-mortgage that I knew of, and, therefore, had no need of my brave help.
-On the other hand, he had something to give to me.
-
-
-I think it usually occurs in small communities that there is one family,
-or one house, to which all strangers or new comers naturally gravitate.
-Nothing was plainer than that ours was that house. All lecturers, upon
-any subject, clergymen on trial, whoever had a new idea to expound and
-was in need of an abiding place meanwhile, found one there. My father’s
-active and liberal mind inclined him to examination and toleration, and
-his cordial hospitality was seconded by my mother’s welcome to any one
-who could bring new thought or culture to herself or her family.
-
-These were the very earliest days of phrenology. The famous brothers, O.
-S. and L. N. Fowler, worthy disciples of Spurzheim and Coombe, were
-commencing their lifelong work. Young men of advanced ideas, thought,
-energy and purpose.
-
-The “Phrenological Journal,” if existing at all, was in its infancy. The
-Fowler brothers were among the most interesting and popular lecturers in
-the country. Two courses of lectures by L. N. Fowler were arranged for
-our town; one for North and the other for South Oxford, or “Oxford
-Plain,” as it is better known. He very naturally became the guest of my
-father and mother.
-
-These two courses of lectures covered nearly a month of time. How can
-the value of the results of that month, extending through a lifetime, be
-put into words? How measure the worth of the ideas, the knowledge of
-one’s self, and of others, growing out of it? Aside from this was his
-aid and comfort to my mother in her perplexity concerning her
-incomprehensible child. I recall the long, earnest talks, in which it
-was evident that I was the prime subject, although not clearly realizing
-it at the time. Upon one occasion there was no question. I was ill (of
-mumps, I believe) and to avoid loneliness was permitted to lie on the
-lounge in the large sitting room through the day. Forgetting my
-presence, or believing me asleep, the conversation went on in my
-hearing, portions of which at this late day I recall. My mother remarked
-that none of her children had ever been so difficult to manage. “Was I
-disobedient, exacting or wayward?” asked Mr. Fowler. Oh no! she often
-wished I were, she would then know what to do, for I would make my wants
-known, and they could be supplied. But I was so timid and afraid of
-making trouble that they were in constant fear of neglecting me; I would
-do without the most needed article rather than ask for it, and my
-bashfulness increased rather than diminished as I grew older. As an
-illustration, she stated that only last Sunday the child appeared with
-bare hands when we were ready for church. Upon being asked where were
-her gloves, she reluctantly replied that she “had none. They were worn
-out.” Upon being asked why she had not said so and asked for others, the
-reply was a burst of tears and an attempt to leave the room. “We would
-not permit this unhappy day at home alone, and took her as she was,”
-said my mother. All this sounded very badly to me as I heard it
-rehearsed. It was all true, all wrong; would I, could I ever learn to do
-better?
-
-Mr. Fowler replied that these characteristics were all indicated; that,
-however much her friends might suffer from them, she would always suffer
-more. “They may be apparently outgrown, but the sensitive nature will
-always remain. She will never assert herself for herself—she will suffer
-wrong first—but for others she will be perfectly fearless.” To my
-mother’s anxious question, “what shall I do?” he replied, “Throw
-responsibility upon her. She has all the qualities of a teacher. As soon
-as her age will permit, give her a school to teach.” I well remember how
-this suggestion shocked me. I should not have remembered all these
-advices, but years after they were found with much more among my
-mother’s carefully preserved papers; some correspondence must have
-followed. The depth and faithfulness of the interest felt, was shown in
-the fact that the great reader of human character, through his long life
-in foreign lands as well as his own, never forgot the troublesome child.
-Occasional correspondence and valued meetings across the sea marked the
-milestones of life, till one road came to an end. A great and true man
-and friend of humanity had gone, and the world was better for his having
-lived in it.
-
-At the close of the second term of school, the advice was acted upon,
-and it was arranged that I teach the school in District No. 9. My sister
-resided within the district. How well I remember the preparations—the
-efforts to look larger and older, the examination by the learned
-committee of one clergyman, one lawyer and one justice of the peace; the
-certificate with “excellent” added at the close; the bright May morning
-over the dewy, grassy road to the schoolhouse, neither large nor new,
-and not a pupil in sight.
-
-On entering, I found my little school of forty pupils all seated
-according to their own selection, quietly waiting with folded hands.
-Bright, rosy-cheeked boys and girls from four to thirteen, with the
-exception of four lads, as tall and nearly as old as myself. These four
-boys naturally looked a little curiously at me, as if forming an opinion
-of how best to dispose of me, as rumor had it that on the preceding
-summer, not being _en rapport_ with the young lady teacher, they had
-excluded her from the building and taken possession themselves. All
-arose as I entered, and remained standing until requested to sit. Never
-having observed how schools were opened, I was compelled, as one would
-say, to “blaze my own way.” I was too timid to address them, but holding
-my Bible, I said they might take their Testaments and turn to the Sermon
-on the Mount. All who could read, read a verse each, I reading with them
-in turn. This opened the way for remarks upon the meaning of what they
-had read. I found them more ready to express themselves than I had
-expected, which was helpful to me as well. I asked them what they
-supposed the Saviour meant by saying that they must love their enemies
-and do good to them that hated and misused them? This was a hard
-question, and they hesitated, until at length a little bright-eyed girl
-with great earnestness replied: “I think He meant that you must be good
-to everybody, and mustn’t quarrel nor make nobody feel bad, and I’m
-going to try.” An ominous smile crept over the rather hard faces of my
-four lads, but my response was so prompt, and my approval so hearty,
-that it disappeared and they listened attentively but ventured no
-remarks. With this moderate beginning the day progressed, and night
-found us social, friendly and classed for a school. Country schools did
-not admit of home dinners. I also remained. On the second or third day
-an accident on their outside field of rough play called me to them. They
-had been playing unfairly and dangerously and needed teaching, even to
-play well. I must have thought they required object lessons, for almost
-imperceptibly either to them or to myself, I joined in the game and was
-playing with them.
-
-My four lads soon perceived that I was no stranger to their sports or
-their tricks; that my early education had not been neglected, and that
-they were not the first boys I had seen. When they found that I was as
-agile and as strong as themselves, that my throw was as sure and as
-straight as theirs, and that if they won a game it was because I
-permitted it, their respect knew no bounds. No courtesy within their
-knowledge was neglected. Their example was sufficient for the entire
-school. I have seen no finer type of boys. They were faithful to me in
-their boyhood, and in their manhood faithful to their country. Their
-blood crimsoned its hardest fields, and the little bright-eyed girl with
-the good resolve, has made her whole life a blessing to others, and
-still lives to follow the teaching given her. Little Emily has “made
-nobody feel bad.”
-
-My school was continued beyond the customary length of time, and its
-only hard feature was our parting. In memory I see that pitiful group of
-children sobbing their way down the hill after the last good-bye was
-said, and I was little better. We had all been children together, and
-when, in accordance with the then custom at town meetings, the grades of
-the schools were named and No. 9 stood first for discipline, I thought
-it the greatest injustice, and remonstrated, affirming that there had
-been no discipline, that not one scholar had ever been disciplined.
-Child that I was, I did not know that the surest test of discipline is
-its absence.
-
-If the published school report, so misunderstood by me, had given me
-displeasure, it had also given me a local reputation, quite as
-unexpected. I soon found myself the recipient of numerous invitations to
-teach in the nearby towns, especially such schools as required the
-“discipline” so largely accredited to, and so little deserved, by me.
-
-Declination, on my part, was not to be thought of. All members of the
-family were only too grateful for the progress I had made towards proper
-self-assurance to permit any backsliding, and it was early settled that
-I accept the application of the honorable committee, to teach the next
-summer school at what was known as the “Mill-ward” in the adjoining town
-of Charlton, commencing on the first Monday in May of the following
-year—a “master” teaching the winter term.
-
-
-One day, early in September, my brother David, now one of the active,
-popular business men of the town, nearly took my breath away by inviting
-me to accompany him on a journey to the state of Maine, to be present at
-his wedding and with him bring back the wife who was to grace his home
-and share his future life.
-
-There was now more lengthening of skirts, and a rush of dressmaking such
-as I had never known before; and when, two weeks later, I found myself
-with my brother and a rather gay party of ladies and gentlemen, friends
-of his, at one of the most elegant hotels in Boston (where I had never
-been) waiting the arrival of a delayed steamer, I was so overcome by the
-dread of committing some impropriety or indiscretion which might
-embarrass my brother that I begged him to permit me to go back home. I
-was not distressed about what might be thought of _me_. I did not seem
-to care much about that; but how it might reflect upon my brother, and
-the mortification that my awkwardness could not fail to inflict on him.
-
-I had never set foot on a vessel or seagoing craft of any kind, and
-when, in the glitter of that finely equipped steamer, I really crossed
-over a corner of the great Atlantic ocean, the very waves of which
-touched other continents as well, I felt that my world was miraculously
-widening.
-
-It was another merry party, and magnificent spans of horses that met and
-galloped away with us over the country to our destination.
-
-But the crowning astonishment came when I was informed that it was the
-desire and decision of all parties, that I act as bridesmaid. That I
-assist in introducing the younger of the guests, and stand beside the
-tall, handsome young bride who was to be my sister, while she pledged
-her troth to the brother dearer to me than my own life.
-
-This responsibility seemed to throw the whole world wide open to me. How
-well I remember the tearful resolution with which I pledged myself to
-try to overcome my troublesome propensities and to strive only for the
-courage of the right, and for the fearlessness of true womanhood so much
-needed and earnestly desired, and so painfully lacking.
-
-[Illustration:
-
- DAVID BARTON.
-
- MY YOUNGER BROTHER AND RIDING MASTER.
-]
-
-November found us home again. Under the circumstances, there must
-naturally be a share of social gayeties during the winter, and some
-preparations for my new school duties; and I waited with more or less
-apprehension for what would be my first life among strangers, and the
-coming of my anticipated “First of May.” With slight variation I could
-have joined truthfully in the dear old child refrain:
-
- “Then wake and call me early,
- Call me early, mother dear,”
- For that will be the veriest day
- “Of all the glad New Year.”
-
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
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- TRANSCRIBER’S NOTES
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- 2. Archaic, non-standard, and uncertain spellings retained as printed.
- 3. Enclosed italics font in _underscores_.
- 4. Enclosed bold font in =equals=.
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-
-<div style='text-align:center; font-size:1.2em; font-weight:bold'>The Project Gutenberg eBook of The story of my childhood, by Clara Barton</div>
-
-<div style='display:block; margin:1em 0'>
-This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere in the United States and
-most other parts of the world at no cost and with almost no restrictions
-whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms
-of the Project Gutenberg License included with this eBook or online
-at <a href="https://www.gutenberg.org">www.gutenberg.org</a>. If you
-are not located in the United States, you will have to check the laws of the
-country where you are located before using this eBook.
-</div>
-
-<div style='display:block; margin-top:1em; margin-bottom:1em; margin-left:2em; text-indent:-2em'>Title: The story of my childhood</div>
-
-<div style='display:block; margin-top:1em; margin-bottom:1em; margin-left:2em; text-indent:-2em'>Author: Clara Barton</div>
-
-<div style='display:block; margin:1em 0'>Release Date: March 05, 2021 [eBook #64704]</div>
-
-<div style='display:block; margin:1em 0'>Language: English</div>
-
-<div style='display:block; margin:1em 0'>Character set encoding: UTF-8</div>
-
-<div style='display:block; margin-left:2em; text-indent:-2em'>Produced by: Richard Tonsing and the Online Distributed Proofreading Team at https://www.pgdp.net (This file was produced from images generously made available by The Internet Archive)</div>
-
-<div style='margin-top:2em; margin-bottom:4em'>*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE STORY OF MY CHILDHOOD ***</div>
-
-<div class='tnotes covernote'>
-
-<p class='c000'><b>Transcriber’s Note:</b></p>
-
-<p class='c000'>The cover image was created by the transcriber and is placed in the public domain.</p>
-
-</div>
-
-<div class='titlepage'>
-
-<div>
- <h1 class='c001'>THE STORY OF MY CHILDHOOD</h1>
-</div>
-
-<div class='nf-center-c0'>
-<div class='nf-center c002'>
- <div>BY</div>
- <div class='c003'><span class='xlarge'>CLARA BARTON</span></div>
- <div class='c002'>NEW YORK</div>
- <div>THE BAKER &amp; TAYLOR CO.</div>
- <div>1907</div>
- </div>
-</div>
-
-</div>
-
-<div class='nf-center-c0'>
-<div class='nf-center c004'>
- <div><span class='small'>Copyright, 1907, by</span></div>
- <div><span class='small'><span class='sc'>The Journal Publishing Co.</span>,</span></div>
- <div><span class='small'>Meriden, Conn.</span></div>
- <div class='c002'><span class='small'><span class='sc'>The Journal Press.</span></span></div>
- </div>
-</div>
-
-<div class='chapter ph1'>
-
-<div class='nf-center-c0'>
-<div class='nf-center c004'>
- <div>THE STORY OF MY CHILDHOOD.</div>
- </div>
-</div>
-
-</div>
-
-<div class='chapter'>
- <span class='pageno' id='Page_5'>5</span>
- <h2 class='c005'>PREFACE</h2>
-</div>
-
-<div class='lg-container-l c002'>
- <div class='linegroup'>
- <div class='group'>
- <div class='line'><em>Dear Miss Clara Barton</em>:</div>
- </div>
- </div>
-</div>
-
-<p class='c006'>Our classes in The History of the United
-States are studying about you, and we want
-to know more.</p>
-
-<p class='c006'>Our teacher says she has seen you. That
-you live in, or near Washington, District
-of Columbia, and that, although very busy,
-she thought you might be willing to receive
-a short letter from us, and I write
-to ask you to be so kind as to tell us what
-you did when you were a little girl like us.
-All of us want to know. I am almost thirteen.</p>
-
-<p class='c006'>If you could send us a few words, we
-should all be very happy. I write for all.</p>
-
-<div class='lg-container-r'>
- <div class='linegroup'>
- <div class='group'>
- <div class='line'>Your little girl friend,</div>
- <div class='line in14'><span class='sc'>Mary St. Clare</span>,</div>
- <div class='line in14'>* * * New York.</div>
- </div>
- </div>
-</div>
-
-<p class='c007'>October third, nineteen hundred, six.</p>
-
-<div class='lg-container-l c002'>
- <div class='linegroup'>
- <div class='group'>
- <div class='line'><span class='pageno' id='Page_6'>6</span><em>Miss Clara Barton</em>:</div>
- </div>
- </div>
-</div>
-
-<p class='c006'>I am studying about you in my History,
-and what you did in the war, and I thought
-I would write and ask you what you did
-afore you did that.</p>
-
-<div class='lg-container-r'>
- <div class='linegroup'>
- <div class='group'>
- <div class='line'>Yours truly,</div>
- <div class='line in4'><span class='sc'>James C. Hamlin</span>.</div>
- </div>
- </div>
-</div>
-
-<div class='lg-container-l'>
- <div class='linegroup'>
- <div class='group'>
- <div class='line'>*&nbsp;*&nbsp;*&nbsp;Center, Iowa,</div>
- <div class='line in2'>May 24th, 1906.</div>
- </div>
- </div>
-</div>
-
-<div class='lg-container-l c002'>
- <div class='linegroup'>
- <div class='group'>
- <div class='line'><span class='pageno' id='Page_7'>7</span><b>Dear Children of the Schools:</b></div>
- </div>
- </div>
-</div>
-
-<p class='c006'>Your oft-repeated appeals have reached
-me. They are too many and too earnest
-to be disregarded; and because of them,
-and because of my love for you, I have
-dedicated this little book to you. I have
-made it small, that you may the more easily
-read it. I have done it in the hope that
-it may give you pleasure, and in the wish
-that, when you shall be women and men,
-you may each remember, as I do, that you
-were once a child, full of childish thoughts
-and action, but of whom it was said, “Suffer
-them to come unto Me, and forbid
-them not, for of such is the Kingdom of
-Heaven.”</p>
-
-<div class='lg-container-r'>
- <div class='linegroup'>
- <div class='group'>
- <div class='line'>Faithfully your friend,</div>
- <div class='line in12'>CLARA BARTON.</div>
- </div>
- </div>
-</div>
-
-<div class='lg-container-l'>
- <div class='linegroup'>
- <div class='group'>
- <div class='line'>Glen Echo, Maryland,</div>
- <div class='line in2'>May twenty-ninth, 1907.</div>
- </div>
- </div>
-</div>
-
-<div class='figcenter id001'>
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_9'>9</span>
-<img src='images/i_009.jpg' alt='' class='ig001' />
-</div>
-
-<div class='chapter'>
- <h2 class='c005'>THE STORY OF MY CHILDHOOD.</h2>
-</div>
-
-<div class='nf-center-c0'>
-<div class='nf-center c002'>
- <div>BY CLARA BARTON.</div>
- </div>
-</div>
-
-<p class='drop-capa0_0_6 c008'>It was May—the cherry trees were in
-bloom. For the first time in three
-years I had been able to sit for an
-evening among a company of persons
-(invalids like myself seeking
-strength), trying to entertain them
-with some remembrances of bygone
-days. I see it still, the broad parlor of
-that grand old “Hillside Home,” the
-mother and inspiration of all the hundreds
-of sanitariums and health restoring
-institutions of the country to-day.
-I had made my home near it, at
-the foot of the blossoming orchard.</p>
-
-<p class='c006'><span class='pageno' id='Page_10'>10</span>Down among the trees and twittering
-robins next morning came one of
-my listeners; a broad-shouldered,
-manly looking man, the face so full of
-benign intelligence that once seen was
-never to be forgotten. He came in at
-the open door, merrily shaking off the
-cherry blossoms like large flakes of
-early snow, an entire stranger to me
-until the previous evening. He seated
-himself and entered into conversation
-with a familiar ease that bespoke the
-cultured gentleman. After a few
-minutes he turned earnestly to me
-with: “Miss Barton, I have an errand
-in coming to you. I have a request
-to make.”</p>
-
-<p class='c006'>I said I hoped I should be able to
-comply. He hesitated, as if thinking
-how to commence, but at length said:
-“I want you to recall and write the
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_11'>11</span>first thing you remember—the first
-event that made sufficient impression
-upon you to be remembered.”</p>
-
-<p class='c006'>I waited in silence and he went on:</p>
-
-<p class='c006'>“And then I want you to write the
-next, and then the next, and so on,
-until you have written all—everything
-connected with yourself and your life
-that you can recall. I want it; we
-want it; the world wants it, and again
-I ask you to do it. Can you promise
-me?”</p>
-
-<p class='c006'>His earnest manner demanded an
-earnest reply. I could not promise to
-do it, but would promise to consider it.</p>
-
-<p class='c009'>This was in the spring of 1876. I
-have never forgotten the request
-through all these thirty-one busy years,
-and have carefully kept the promise
-to consider it; and to-night take my
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_12'>12</span>pencil to describe the first moment of
-my life that I remember.</p>
-
-<p class='c006'>By the dates I must have been
-nearly two and a half years old, for
-I was born on Christmas day, and
-now the lilacs were in bloom. It was
-a rather newly built country house
-where I had commenced my earthly
-pilgrimage, and being the youngest by
-a dozen or so years, of a family of two
-brothers and two sisters, I naturally
-lacked child playmates and was left
-much to my own entertainment.</p>
-
-<p class='c006'>On this occasion I must have been
-enjoying a ramble by myself in the
-grass-green dooryard, with the broad
-hand-hewn doorstep and the traditional
-lilacs on either side. Suddenly
-my resounding cries brought the
-whole family to the door in alarm.
-My wailing took the form of a complaint
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_13'>13</span>expressed with my best linguistic
-ability:</p>
-
-<p class='c006'>“Baby los’ ’im—pitty bird—baby
-los’ ’im—baby mos’ caught him—pitty
-bird—baby mos’ caught ’im.”</p>
-
-<p class='c006'>At length they succeeded in inducing
-me to listen to a question, “But
-where did it go, Baby?”</p>
-
-<p class='c006'>Among my heart-breaking sobs I
-pointed to a small round hole under
-the doorstep. The terrified scream of
-my mother remained in my memory
-forever more. Her baby had “mos’
-caught” a snake.</p>
-
-<p class='c006'>I recall nothing more for nearly
-a year and a half, when my terrors
-again took possession. An esteemed
-and greatly beloved relative of the
-family had died. The funeral services
-were to be held four miles away.
-All the household would attend excepting
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_14'>14</span>myself and the younger of my
-two brothers, David, some sixteen
-years old, who was deputed to act as
-body guard, doubtless under strict
-orders.</p>
-
-<p class='c006'>I can picture the large family sitting
-room with its four open windows,
-which room I was not to leave, and
-my guardian was to remain near me.
-Some outside duty called him from
-the house and I was left to my own
-observations. A sudden thunder
-shower came up; massive rifts of
-clouds rolled up in the east, and the
-lightning darted among them like
-blazing fires. The thunder gave them
-language and my terrified imagination
-endowed them with life.</p>
-
-<p class='c006'>Among the animals of the farm was
-a huge old ram, that doubtless upon
-some occasion had taught me to respect
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_15'>15</span>him, and of which I had a mortal
-fear. My terrors transformed
-those rising, rolling clouds into a
-whole heaven full of angry rams,
-marching down upon me. Again my
-screams alarmed, and the poor brother,
-conscience stricken that he had left
-his charge, rushed breathless in, to find
-me on the floor in hysterics, a condition
-of things he had never seen; and
-neither memory nor history relate how
-either of us got out of it.</p>
-
-<p class='c006'>In these later years I have observed
-that writers of sketches, in a friendly
-desire to compliment me, have been
-wont to dwell upon my courage, representing
-me as personally devoid of
-fear, not even knowing the feeling.
-However correct that may have become,
-it is evident I was not constructed
-that way, as in the earlier
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_16'>16</span>years of my life I remember nothing
-but fear.</p>
-
-<p class='c006'>There can be no doubt that my advent
-into the family was at least a
-novelty, as the last before me was a
-beautiful blue-eyed, curly-haired little
-girl of a dozen summers. That the
-event was probably looked for with
-interest is shadowed in the fact of
-preparations made for it. The still
-existing few pieces in my possession
-testify to the purchase of a full, complete
-and withal rather aristocratic
-dinner set of “Old Willow,” which
-did faithful service many years; and
-the remaining bits of dainty pink and
-white, tell of the tea set to match,
-in the cups of which were told the future
-of many a merry party that
-learned their reality through still later
-years, not all pink and white.</p>
-
-<p class='c006'><span class='pageno' id='Page_17'>17</span>I became the seventh member of a
-household consisting of the father and
-mother, two sisters and two brothers,
-each of whom for his and her intrinsic
-merits and special characteristics deserves
-an individual history, which it
-shall be my conscientious duty to portray
-as far as possible as these pages
-progress. For the present it is enough
-to say that each one manifested an increasing
-personal interest in the newcomer,
-and as soon as developments
-permitted, set about instructing her in
-the various directions most in accord
-with the tastes and pursuits of each.</p>
-
-<p class='c006'>Of the two sisters, the elder was already
-a teacher. The younger followed
-soon, and naturally my book education
-became their first care, and
-under these conditions it is little to
-say, that I have no knowledge of ever
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_18'>18</span>learning to read, or of a time that I
-did not do my own story reading. The
-other studies followed very early.</p>
-
-<p class='c006'>My elder brother, Stephen, was a
-noted mathematician. He inducted
-me into the mystery of figures.
-Multiplication, division, subtraction,
-halves, quarters and wholes, soon
-ceased to be a mystery, and no toy
-equalled my little slate. But the
-younger brother (he of the thunder
-storm and hysterics) had entirely other
-tastes, and would have none of these
-things. My father was a lover of
-horses, and one of the first in the vicinity
-to introduce blooded stock. He
-had large lands, for New England. He
-raised his own colts; and Highlanders,
-Virginians and Morgans pranced the
-fields in idle contempt of the solid old
-farm horses.</p>
-
-<p class='c006'><span class='pageno' id='Page_19'>19</span>Of my brother, David, to say that
-he was fond of horses describes nothing;
-one could almost add that he was
-fond of nothing else. He was the
-Buffalo Bill of the surrounding country,
-and here commences his part of
-my education. It was his delight to
-take me, a little girl five years old, to
-the field, seize a couple of those beautiful
-young creatures, broken only to
-the halter and bit, and gathering the
-reins of both bridles firmly in hand,
-throw me upon the back of one colt,
-spring upon the other himself, and
-catching me by one foot, and bidding
-me “cling fast to the mane,” gallop
-away over field and fen, in and out
-among the other colts in wild glee like
-ourselves. They were merry rides we
-took. This was my riding school. I
-never had any other, but it served me
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_20'>20</span>well. To this day my seat on a saddle
-or on the back of a horse is as secure
-and tireless as in a rocking chair,
-and far more pleasurable. Sometimes,
-in later years, when I found
-myself suddenly on a strange horse
-in a trooper’s saddle, flying for life or
-liberty in front of pursuit, I blessed
-the baby lessons of the wild gallops
-among the beautiful colts.</p>
-
-<p class='c009'>Various as were the topics of instruction
-pursued by my youthful
-teachers, my father had still others.
-He was “Captain” Stephen Barton,
-had served as a non-commissioned officer,
-under General Wayne (Mad Anthony)
-in the French and Indian Wars
-on the then Western frontiers. His
-soldier habits and tastes never left
-him. Those were also strong political
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_21'>21</span>days—Andrew Jackson days—and
-very naturally my father became my
-instructor in military and political lore.
-I listened breathlessly to his war
-stories. Illustrations were called for,
-and we made battles and fought them.
-Every shade of military etiquette was
-regarded. Generals, colonels, captains
-and sergeants were given their
-proper place and rank. So with the
-political world; the president, cabinet
-and leading officers of the government
-were learned by heart, and
-nothing gratified the keen humor of
-my father more than the parrot-like
-readiness with which I lisped these
-often difficult names, and the accuracy
-with which I repeated them upon
-request. My elder sister, with a
-teacher’s intuition, mistrusting that
-my ideas on these points might be
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_22'>22</span>somewhat vague, confidentially drew
-from me one day my impressions in
-regard to the personages whose names
-I handled so glibly, and to the amusement
-of the family found that I had
-no conception of their being men like
-other men, but had invested them
-with miraculous size and importance.
-I thought the president might be as
-large as the meeting house, and the
-vice-president perhaps the size of the
-school house. And yet I am not going
-to say that even this instruction
-had never any value for me. When
-later, I, like all the rest of our country
-people, was suddenly thrust into
-the mysteries of war, and had to find
-and take my place and part in it, I
-found myself far less a stranger to
-the conditions than most women, or
-even ordinary men for that matter;
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_23'>23</span>I never addressed a colonel as captain,
-got my cavalry on foot, or
-mounted my infantry.</p>
-
-<p class='c006'>My mother, like the sensible woman
-that she was, seeming to conclude that
-there were plenty of instructors without
-her, attempted very little, but
-rather regarded the whole thing as a
-sort of mental conglomeration, and
-looked on with a kind of amused curiosity
-to see what they would make of
-it. Indeed, I heard her remark many
-years after, that I came out with a
-more level head than she would have
-thought possible.</p>
-
-<p class='c009'>My first individual ownership was
-“Button.” In personality (if the term
-be admissible), Button represented a
-sprightly, medium-sized, very white
-dog, with silky ears, sparkling black
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_24'>24</span>eyes and a very short tail. His bark
-spoke for itself. Button belonged to
-me. No other claim was instituted,
-or ever had been. It was said that
-on my entrance into the family, Button
-constituted himself my guardian.
-He watched my first steps and tried
-to pick me up when I fell down. One
-was never seen without the other. He
-proved an apt and obedient pupil,
-obeying me precept upon precept, if
-not line upon line. He stood on two
-feet to ask for his food, and made a
-bow on receiving it, walked on three
-legs when very lame, and so on, after
-the manner of his crude instruction;
-went everywhere with me through the
-day, waited patiently while I said my
-prayers and continued his guard on the
-foot of the bed at night. Button
-shared my board as well as my bed.
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_25'>25</span>This fact gave opportunity for an
-amusing bit of sport for the family at
-my expense, as was their wont.</p>
-
-<p class='c006'>One would, with considerable ado
-(to lend importance to the occasion),
-make me a present of some divisible
-luxury, as cake or candies. This
-called, on my part, for positive orders
-to all to sit down and share my gift
-with me, as I never partook of it
-alone. A line or circle was formed,
-comprising the entire family, Button
-occupying the last seat. I then proceeded
-to make a careful hand count
-of each, including Button; then retired
-and accurately divided my gift,
-a piece for each, but not myself, as
-I was not in the count. I then went
-and gave a piece to every one. The
-fun came in watching the silent wonderment
-and resignation with which I
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_26'>26</span>contemplated my own empty hands, a
-condition of things I could not at all
-comprehend, but made no complaint.
-Of course, each in generous sympathy
-offered to give back to me his or her
-piece; but here came in my careful
-mother’s protest and command, so seldom
-heard. “No,” I must not be
-taught to think I could give a thing
-and still possess it, or its value. A
-gift must be outright. I must do
-earnestly all that I did. Each might
-generously give me back a very small
-piece, to make in all no more than
-would have been my share, and I must
-be made to understand that even this
-was a favor and not a right. I then
-went around and received my crumbs.
-This all went well till I came to Button.
-When I held out my hand for
-his little charity, he had nothing for
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_27'>27</span>me. I could never understand this
-discourtesy of Button.</p>
-
-<p class='c006'>This was one of the many jokes reserved
-for me as I grew older. But
-far above and beyond it all, as the
-years sped on, and the hands were
-still, shone the gleam of the far-sighted
-mother’s watchfulness that neither
-toil could obscure, nor mirth relax.</p>
-
-<p class='c009'>My home instruction was by no
-means permitted to stand in the way
-of the “regular school,” which consisted
-of two terms each year, of three
-months each. The winter term included
-not only the large boys and
-girls, but in reality the young men
-and young women of the neighborhood.
-An exceptionally fine teacher
-often drew the daily attendance of advanced
-scholars for several miles. Our
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_28'>28</span>district had this good fortune. I introduce
-with pleasure and with reverence
-the name of Richard Stone; a
-firmly-set, handsome young man of
-twenty-six or seven, of commanding
-figure and presence, combining all the
-elements of a teacher with a discipline
-never questioned. His glance
-of disapproval was a reprimand, his
-frown something he never needed to
-go beyond. The love and respect of
-his pupils exceeded even their fear. It
-was no uncommon thing for summer
-teachers to come twenty miles to avail
-themselves of the winter term of
-“Col.” Stone, for he was a high militia
-officer, and at that young age was
-a settled man with a family of four
-little children. He had married at
-eighteen.</p>
-
-<p class='c006'>I am thus particular in my description
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_29'>29</span>of him, both because of my childish
-worship of him, and because I shall
-have occasion to refer to him later.
-The opening of his first term was a
-signal for the Barton family, and
-seated on the strong shoulders of my
-stalwart brother Stephen, I was taken
-a mile through the tall drifts to school.
-I have often questioned if in this
-movement there might not have been
-a touch of mischievous curiosity on
-the part of these not at all dull youngsters,
-to see what my performance at
-school might be.</p>
-
-<p class='c006'>I was, of course, the baby of the
-school. I recall no introduction to
-the teacher, but was set down among
-the many pupils in the by no means
-spacious room, with my spelling book
-and the traditional slate, from which
-nothing could separate me. I was
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_30'>30</span>seated on one of the low benches and
-sat very still. At length the majestic
-schoolmaster seated himself, and taking
-a primer, called the class of little
-ones to him. He pointed the letters
-to each. I named them all, and was
-asked to spell some little words, “dog,”
-“cat,” etc., whereupon I hesitatingly
-informed him that I did “not spell
-there.” “Where do you spell?” “I
-spell in ‘Artichoke,’” that being the
-leading word in the three syllable column
-in my speller. He good naturedly
-conformed to my suggestion, and
-I was put into the “artichoke” class
-to bear my part for the winter, and
-read and “spell for the head.” When,
-after a few weeks, my brother Stephen
-was declared by the committee to be
-too advanced for a common school,
-and was placed in charge of an important
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_31'>31</span>school himself, my unique
-transportation devolved upon the
-other brother, David.</p>
-
-<p class='c006'>No colts now, but solid wading
-through the high New England drifts.</p>
-
-<p class='c006'>The Rev. Mr. Menseur of the
-Episcopal church of Leicester, Mass.,
-if I recollect aright, wisely comprehending
-the grievous inadaptability of
-the school books of that time, had
-compiled a small geography and atlas
-suited to young children, known as
-Menseur’s Geography. It was a novelty,
-as well as a beneficence; nothing
-of its kind having occurred to makers
-of the school books of that day.
-They seemed not to have recognized
-the existence of a state of childhood
-in the intellectual creation. During
-the winter I had become the happy
-possessor of a Menseur’s Geography
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_32'>32</span>and Atlas. It is questionable if my
-satisfaction was fully shared by others
-of the household. I required a
-great deal of assistance in the study
-of my maps, and became so interested
-that I could not sleep, and was not
-willing that others should, but persisted
-in waking my poor drowsy sister
-in the cold winter mornings to sit
-up in bed and by the light of a tallow
-candle, help me to find mountains, rivers,
-counties, oceans, lakes, islands,
-isthmuses, channels, cities, towns and
-capitals.</p>
-<div class='figcenter id002'>
-<img src='images/i_032.jpg' alt='' class='ig001' />
-<div class='ic002'>
-<p>MY BIRTHPLACE.</p>
-</div>
-</div>
-
-<p class='c006'><span class='pageno' id='Page_33'>33</span>The next May the summer school
-opened, taught by Miss Susan Torrey.
-Again, I write the name reverently,
-as gracing one of the most
-perfect of personalities. I was not
-alone in my childish admiration,
-for her memory remained a living
-reality in the town long years after
-the gentle spirit fled. My sisters
-were both teaching other schools, and
-I must make my own way, which I
-did, walking a mile with my one precious
-little schoolmate, Nancy Fitts.
-Nancy Fitts! The playmate of my
-childhood; the “chum” of laughing
-girlhood; the faithful trusted companion
-of young womanhood, and the beloved
-life friend that the relentless
-grasp of time has neither changed, nor
-taken from me.</p>
-
-<p class='c006'>On entering the wide open door of
-the inviting schoolhouse, armed with
-some most unsuitable reader, a
-spelling book, geography, atlas and
-slate, I was seized with an intense fear
-at finding myself with no member of
-the family near, and my trepidation
-became so visible that the gentle teacher,
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_34'>34</span>relieving me of my burden of
-books, took me tenderly on her lap and
-did her best to reassure and calm me.
-At length I was given my seat, with a
-desk in front for my atlas and slate,
-my toes at least a foot from the floor,
-and that became my daily, happy
-home for the next three months.</p>
-
-<p class='c009'>I partially recall an event which occurred
-when I was five years old; the
-incidents which I could not have personally
-remembered, must have been
-supplied by later relations. It seems
-that I was suddenly discovered to be
-alarmingly ill. In response to the
-terror of the moment, the saddle was
-thrown on Black Stallion, the king of
-the herd, his rough rider mounted and
-away for the doctor, on “Oxford
-Plain,” five miles away. “Not at
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_35'>35</span>home—out on a professional drive.”
-Followed to “Sutton Street,” six miles
-further on. “Gone.” Back over “Hog
-Hill” and across the town to the west.
-At length overtaken and brought back
-at a speed little less than that which
-had called him, for the doctor was a
-fearless driver. The thunder of the
-flying hoofs and the speed of the rider
-as they passed had alarmed the people.
-All the town knew the horse
-and the rider, and knew as well that
-something bad had happened at Captain
-Barton’s. Men dropped their
-work, harnessed their own teams and
-drove with all haste to see if, perchance,
-it were anything in which they
-could help. When the doctor arrived,
-the yard and road were filled with
-people, waiting his coming and diagnosis.</p>
-
-<p class='c006'><span class='pageno' id='Page_36'>36</span>Shortly the verbal bulletin went out:
-“A sudden, unaccountable and probably
-fatal attack of bloody dysentery
-and convulsions.” There was no
-more for the sympathetic neighbors
-to do; they turned sadly away, and
-with them went the report that Captain
-and Mrs. Barton had lost their
-little baby girl.</p>
-<div class='figleft id003'>
-<img src='images/i_037a.jpg' alt='' class='ig001' />
-<div class='ic002'>
-<p>CAPTAIN STEPHEN BARTON, MY FATHER.</p>
-</div>
-</div>
-
-<div class='figright id003'>
-<img src='images/i_037b.jpg' alt='' class='ig001' />
-<div class='ic002'>
-<p>SALLY STONE BARTON, MY MOTHER.</p>
-</div>
-</div>
-
-<p class='c006'><span class='pageno' id='Page_37'>37</span>Of all this I have, naturally, no recollection—neither
-do I know the lapse
-of time till memory again got hold;
-but her first grasp of the event was
-this: I had occupied as a bed a great
-cradle which had been made for some
-grown invalid, and preserved in the
-household. I was bolstered up in
-this cradle, with a little low table at
-the side on which was my first meal
-of solid food. How I had previously
-been nourished I do not know, but I
-can see this meal as clearly as if it
-had been yesterday. A piece of
-brown bread crust, about two inches
-square, rye and Indian, baked on the
-oven bottom; a tiny wine glass, my
-Christmas gift, full of home-made
-blackberry cordial, and a wee bit of
-my mother’s well cured old cheese.
-There was no need to caution me to
-eat slowly; knowing that I could have
-no more, and in dread of coming to
-the last morsel, I nibbled and sipped
-and swallowed till I mercifully fell
-asleep from exhaustion.</p>
-
-<p class='c006'>There are a good many men over
-the country who would readily believe
-that sometimes, at the end of a
-long fast, food might have tasted very
-good to me, as it did to them; but no
-food through the longest fast, ever
-had the relish of that brown bread
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_38'>38</span>crust; and no royal table has ever
-been so kingly as that where I presided
-alone over my own feast.</p>
-
-<p class='c009'>Of the succeeding years, six, seven
-and eight, I recall little of note beyond
-my studies, excepting a propensity I
-indulged for writing verses, many of
-which were preserved to amuse, others
-to tease me for many years. Colonel
-Stone had closed his series of
-common schools, and opened a special
-institution on “Oxford Plain,”
-known as the “Oxford High School.”
-Its fame had spread for miles around,
-and it was regarded as the <em>Ultima
-Thule</em> for teachers, and in a manner
-a stepping stone or opening door to
-Harvard and Yale.</p>
-
-<p class='c006'>My brother Stephen had succeeded
-Col. Stone in the winter terms of the
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_39'>39</span>home school, and my sisters mainly
-had charge of them in summer. Thus
-six months of each year offered little
-change, the others were long vacations
-in which the out-of-doors played
-by far the most prominent part. There
-were garden and flower beds to be
-made, choice pet animals to look after,
-a few needy families with little
-children to be thought of, and some
-sewing to be attempted. These latter
-were in accordance with my mother’s
-recommendations. I recall no
-season of dolls, and believe they were
-never included in my curriculum.</p>
-
-<p class='c006'>Meantime, I fell heir to my mother’s
-side saddle, a beautiful piece of
-workmanship, and with some difficulty
-learned to adjust myself to it, a rather
-useless adjustment it seemed to me at
-the time, which opinion I still entertain.</p>
-
-<p class='c006'><span class='pageno' id='Page_40'>40</span>These were years of change in the
-family. My brothers had become of
-age and were young men of strength,
-character and enterprise. They had
-“bought out” as the term went, the
-two large farms of my father, and
-commenced business in earnest for
-themselves. My father had purchased
-another farm of some three hundred
-acres, a few miles nearer the center
-of the town.</p>
-
-<p class='c006'>This was a place of note, having
-been one of the points used for security
-against the Indians by the old
-Huguenot Settlers of Oxford, and
-which has made the town historic.
-Their main defense was on “Fort
-Hill,” several miles to the east. I was
-naturally greatly interested in the
-changes, and doubtless gave them all
-the time I could spare from my increasing
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_41'>41</span>studies. I can recollect even
-now that my life seemed very full for
-a little girl of eight years.</p>
-
-<p class='c009'>During the preceding winter I began
-to hear talk of my going away to
-school, and it was decided that I be
-sent to Col. Stone’s High school, to
-board in his family and go home occasionally.
-This arrangement, I
-learned in later years, had a double
-object. I was what is known as a
-bashful child, timid in the presence of
-other persons, a condition of things
-found impossible to correct at home.
-In the hope of overcoming this undesirable
-<i><span lang="fr" xml:lang="fr">mauvais honte</span></i>, it was decided
-to throw me among strangers.</p>
-
-<p class='c006'>How well I remember my advent.
-My father took me in his carriage
-with a little dressing case which I dignified
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_42'>42</span>with the appellation of “trunk”—something
-I had never owned.
-It was April—cold and bare. The
-house and school rooms adjoined, and
-seemed enormously large. The
-household was also large. The long
-family table with the dignified preceptor,
-my loved and feared teacher
-at three years, at its head, seemed to
-me something formidable. There
-were probably one hundred and fifty
-pupils daily in the ample school rooms,
-of which I was perhaps the youngest,
-except the colonel’s own children.</p>
-
-<p class='c006'>My studies were chosen with great
-care. I remember among them, ancient
-history with charts. The lessons
-were learned to repeat by rote. I
-found difficulty both in learning the
-proper names and in pronouncing
-them, as I had not quite outgrown my
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_43'>43</span>lisp. One day I had studied very
-hard on the Ancient Kings of Egypt,
-and thought I had everything perfect,
-and when the pupil above me failed
-to give the name of a reigning king,
-I answered very promptly that it was
-“Potlomy.” The colonel checked
-with a glance the rising laugh of the
-older members of the class, and told
-me, very gently, that the P was silent
-in that word. I had, however, seen
-it all, and was so overcome by mortification
-for my mistake, and gratitude
-for the kindness of my teacher,
-that I burst into tears and was permitted
-to leave the room.</p>
-
-<div class='figcenter id004'>
-<img src='images/i_044.jpg' alt='' class='ig001' />
-<div class='ic002'>
-<p>COLONEL RICHARD C. STONE, MY TEACHER AT THREE YEARS OF AGE.</p>
-</div>
-</div>
-
-<p class='c006'>I am not sure that I was really
-homesick, but the days seemed very
-long, especially Sundays. I was in
-constant dread of doing something
-wrong, and one Sunday afternoon I
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_44'>44</span>was sure I had found my occasion. It
-was early spring. The tender leaves
-had put out and with them the buds
-and half open blossoms of the little
-cinnamon roses, an unfailing ornamentation
-of a well kept New England
-home of that day. The children
-of the family had gathered in the
-front yard, admiring the roses and
-daring to pick each a little bouquet.
-As I stood holding mine, the heavy
-door at my back swung open, and
-there was the colonel, in his long,
-light dressing gown and slippers, direct
-from his study. A kindly spoken
-“come with me, Clara,” nearly took
-my last breath. I followed his strides
-through all the house, up the long
-flights of stairs, through the halls of
-the school rooms, silently wondering
-what I had done more than the others.
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_45'>45</span>I knew he was by no means
-wont to spare his own children. I had
-my handful of roses—so had they.
-I knew it was very wrong to have
-picked them, but why more wrong for
-me than for the others? At length,
-and it seemed to me an hour, we
-reached the colonel’s study, and there,
-advancing to meet us, was the Reverend
-Mr. Chandler, the pastor of our
-Universalist church, whom I knew
-well. He greeted me very politely
-and kindly, and handed the large, open
-school reader which he held, to the
-colonel, who put it into my hands,
-placed me a little in front of them, and
-pointing to a column of blank verse,
-very gently directed me to read it. It
-was an extract from Campbell’s
-“Pleasures of Hope,” commencing,
-“Unfading hope, when life’s last embers
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_46'>46</span>burn.” I read it to the end, a page
-or two. When finished, the good pastor
-came quickly and relieved me of
-the heavy book, and I wondered why
-there were tears in his eyes. The colonel
-drew me to him, gently stroked
-my short cropped hair, went with me
-down the long steps, and told me I
-could “go back to the children and
-play.” I went much more easy in
-mind than I came, but it was years
-before I comprehended anything
-about it.</p>
-
-<p class='c006'>My studies gave me no trouble, but
-I grew very tired, felt hungry all the
-time but dared not eat, grew thin and
-pale. The colonel noticed it, and
-watching me at table found that I was
-eating little or nothing, refusing
-everything that was offered me. Mistrusting
-that it was from timidity, he
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_47'>47</span>had food laid on my plate, but I dared
-not eat it, and finally at the end of
-the term a consultation was held between
-the colonel, my father and our
-beloved family physician, Dr. Delano
-Pierce, who lived within a few doors
-of the school, and it was decided to
-take me home until a little older, and
-wiser, I could hope. My timid sensitiveness
-must have given great annoyance
-to my friends. If I ever
-could have gotten entirely over it, it
-would have given far less annoyance
-and trouble to myself all through
-life.</p>
-
-<p class='c006'>To this day, I would rather stand
-behind the lines of artillery at Antietam,
-or cross the pontoon bridge under
-fire at Fredericksburg, than to
-be expected to preside at a public
-meeting.</p>
-
-<p class='c006'><span class='pageno' id='Page_48'>48</span>Referring to the breaking up of the
-first home, and the removal of my
-father and mother to the new one, it
-might be well to state the reasons for
-the change. A favorite nephew of
-my father, Mr. Jeremiah Larned, had
-died after a lingering illness, leaving
-a widow and four children, from thirteen
-to six years of age, on the fine
-farm which had descended to him
-from his father, Captain Jeremiah
-Larned, one of the leading men of
-the town. Unfortunately, during his
-long illness the farm had become involved
-to the extent of necessitating a
-sale. This would result in depriving
-the widow and her small children
-of a home, and in order to prevent
-this, and the disadvantages of a creditor’s
-sale, it was decided that my
-father and a brother-in-law of Mrs.
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_49'>49</span>Larned, Captain Sylvester McIntire,
-who had no children, purchase the
-farm, and remove there, keeping the
-widow and children with them.</p>
-
-<p class='c006'>The hill farms—for there were two—were
-sold to my brothers, who, entering
-into partnership, constituted the
-well known firm of S. &amp; D. Barton,
-continuing mainly through their lives.
-Thus I became the occupant of two
-homes, my sisters remaining with my
-brothers, none of whom were married.</p>
-
-<p class='c006'>The removal to the second home
-was a great novelty to me. I became
-observant of all changes made. One
-of the first things found necessary on
-entering a house of such ancient date,
-was a rather extensive renovation, for
-those days, of painting and papering.
-The leading artisan in that line in the
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_50'>50</span>town was Mr. Sylvanus Harris, a
-courteous man of fine manners, good
-scholarly acquirements, and who, for
-nearly half a lifetime, filled the office
-of town clerk. The records of
-Oxford will bear his name and his
-beautiful handwriting as long as its
-records exist.</p>
-
-<p class='c006'>Mr. Harris was engaged to make
-the necessary improvements. Painting
-included more then than in these
-later days of prepared material. The
-painter brought his massive white
-marble slab, ground his own paints,
-mixed his colors, boiled his oil, calcined
-his plaster, made his putty and
-did scores of things that a painter of
-to-day would not only never think of
-doing, but would often scarcely know
-how to do.</p>
-
-<p class='c006'>Coming from the newly built house
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_51'>51</span>where I was born, I had seen nothing
-of this kind done, and was intensely
-interested. I must have persisted in
-making myself very numerous, for I
-was constantly reminded not to “get
-in the gentleman’s way.” But I was
-not to be set aside. My combined interest
-and curiosity for once overcame
-my timidity, and encouraged by
-the mild, genial face of Mr. Harris,
-I gathered the courage to walk up in
-front and address him: “Will you
-teach me to paint, sir?” “With pleasure,
-little lady, if mama is willing, I
-should very much like your assistance.”
-The consent was forthcoming,
-and so was a gown suited to my new
-work, and I reported for duty. I
-question if any ordinary apprentice
-was ever more faithfully and intelligently
-instructed in his first month’s
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_52'>52</span>apprenticeship. I was taught how to
-hold my brushes, to take care of them,
-allowed to help grind my paints,
-shown how to mix and blend them,
-how to make putty and use it, to prepare
-oils and dryings, and learned
-from experience that boiling oil was
-a great deal hotter than boiling water,
-was taught to trim paper neatly, to
-match and help to hang it, to make
-the most approved paste, and even
-varnished the kitchen chairs to the
-entire satisfaction of my mother,
-which was triumph enough for one
-little girl. So interested was I, that
-I never wearied of my work for a
-day, and at the end of a month looked
-on sadly as the utensils, brushes, buckets
-and great marble slab were taken
-away. There was not a room that I
-had not helped to make better; there
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_53'>53</span>were no longer mysteries in paint and
-paper. I knew them all, and that
-work would bring callouses even on
-little hands.</p>
-
-<p class='c006'>When the work was finished and
-everything gone, I went to my room,
-lonesome in spite of myself. I found
-on my candle stand a box containing
-a pretty little locket, neatly inscribed,
-“To a faithful worker.” No one
-seemed to have any knowledge of it,
-and I never gained any.</p>
-
-<p class='c009'>The new home presented a phase of
-life quite unfamiliar to me. From
-never having had any playmates, I now
-found myself one of a very lively body
-of six—three boys and three girls
-nearer of an age than would have
-been probable in the same family. My
-father had taken charge of the young
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_54'>54</span>son of a friend—Lovett Stimpson—a
-fine, robust, intelligent lad of about
-my age, who lived with us.</p>
-
-<p class='c006'>It would be difficult to describe
-what this new life, for the time it continued,
-became to me, or indeed I to
-it. As I look back upon it I realize
-that we were a group of good children
-with honorable instincts, obedient
-and kindly disposed. In later
-years none of us could recall a serious
-difference of any kind, no cruelty and
-no broken faith. It took just six, and
-no more, to keep a secret. But this portrayal
-of characteristics gives no clue
-to, indeed casts no shadow, of what
-we were capable of accomplishing in
-a day. The territorial domain comprised
-something over three hundred
-acres. We knew it all. From “Peakèd
-Hill,” to “Jim Brown’s”—across the
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_55'>55</span>“Flowed Swamp,” three miles, we
-knew every rod of it. Old “Rocky
-Hills,” so high, so steep, so thickly
-wooded that a horse would never attempt
-them, were no strangers. We
-knew where the best chestnuts were.
-We explored the “Devil’s Den,” in
-spite of the tradition that it was an
-abode for the tempters of Eve. The
-“French River,” that later carried all
-the factories of North Oxford, spread
-itself out in lazy rest, after its rugged
-leaps, as it meandered through the
-broad, beautiful meadows and interval
-land, the pride of the farm.</p>
-
-<p class='c006'>A long hewn log or pole stretched
-across it in its narrowest, deepest
-place. I would not dare to
-say how long, but it could not have
-been more than fourteen inches wide,
-and swayed and teetered from the
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_56'>56</span>moment the foot touched till it left it.
-The waters glided still and black beneath.
-It was there as a convenience
-for the working men in crossing from
-one field to another; but if ever a
-week day passed that we did not cross
-it several times, we knew one duty
-had been neglected. The only sawmill
-in that section of the town was
-a part of my father’s possessions. The
-great up-and-down saw cut its angry
-way through the primeval forest
-giants from morning till night, and
-not unfrequently from night till
-morning. The long saw-carriage
-ran far out over the raceway at the
-rear end. How were we to withstand
-the temptation of riding out over the
-rushing mill stream twenty feet below,
-and then coming quickly in as the
-sawn log was drawn back for another
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_57'>57</span>cut? Hurt? Never one of us. Killed?
-We knew not such a thing could be.</p>
-
-<p class='c006'>There were three temptingly great
-barns, scattered between the house
-premises and the interval. Was there
-ever a better opportunity for hide-and-seek,
-for climbing and jumping? It
-would have been no athlete at all that
-couldn’t jump from the great beams
-to the hay, in scant summer time before
-the new hay came in, and land
-on the feet safely. There was, and
-still is, directly in front of the house,
-a small, circular, natural pond, fed by
-springs in the bottom and surrounded
-by a cordon of hills forming a basin
-in which the little pond basks and
-sleeps through the summer, but in
-winter becomes a thing of beauty and
-a joy forever to the skater. From its
-sheltered position it freezes smooth,
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_58'>58</span>even, and glare, and has no danger
-spots. I dwell upon this description,
-for that little pond was my early love;
-the home of my beautiful flock of
-graceful ducks. The boys were all
-fine skaters; I wanted to skate, too,
-but skating had not then become customary,
-in fact, not even allowable for
-girls; and when, one day, my father
-saw me sitting on the ice attempting
-to put on a pair of skates, he seemed
-shocked, recommended me to the
-house, and said something about “tomboys.”
-But this did not cure my desire;
-nor could I understand why it
-was not as well for me to skate as for
-the boys; I was as strong, could run
-as fast and ride better, indeed they
-would not have presumed to approach
-me with a horse. Neither could the
-boys understand it, and this misconception
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_59'>59</span>led them into an error and me
-into trouble.</p>
-
-<p class='c006'>One clear, cold, starlight Sunday
-morning, I heard a low whistle under
-my open chamber window. I realized
-that the boys were out for a skate
-and wanted to communicate with me.
-On going to the window, they informed
-me that they had an extra pair
-of skates and if I could come out they
-would put them on me and “learn”
-me how to skate. It was Sunday
-morning; no one would be up till late,
-and the ice was so smooth and “glare.”
-The stars were bright, the temptation
-was too great. I was in my dress in
-a moment and out. The skates were
-fastened on firmly, one of the boy’s
-wool neck “comforters” tied about my
-waist, to be held by the boy in front.
-The other two were to stand on either
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_60'>60</span>side, and at a signal the cavalcade
-started. Swifter and swifter we
-went, until at length we reached a
-spot where the ice had been cracked
-and was full of sharp edges. These
-threw me, and the speed with which
-we were progressing, and the distance
-before we could quite come to
-a stop, gave terrific opportunity for
-cuts and wounded knees. The opportunity
-was not lost. There was more
-blood flowing than any of us had ever
-seen. Something must be done.
-Now all of the wool neck comforters
-came into requisition; my wounds
-were bound up, and I was helped into
-the house, with one knee of ordinary
-respectable cuts and bruises; the other
-frightful. Then the enormity of the
-transaction and its attendant difficulties
-began to present themselves, and
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_61'>61</span>how to surround (for there was no
-possibility of overcoming them), was
-the question.</p>
-
-<p class='c006'>The most feasible way seemed to be
-to say nothing about it, and we decided
-to all keep silent; but how to
-conceal the limp? I must have no
-limp, but walk well. I managed
-breakfast without notice. Dinner not
-quite so well, and I had to acknowledge
-that I had slipped down and hurt
-my knee a little. This gave my limp
-more latitude, but the next day it was
-so decided, that I was held up and
-searched. It happened that the best
-knee was inspected; the stiff wool
-comforter soaked off, and a suitable
-dressing given it. This was a great
-relief, as it afforded pretext for my
-limp, no one observing that I limped
-with the wrong knee.</p>
-
-<p class='c006'><span class='pageno' id='Page_62'>62</span>But the other knee was not a wound
-to heal by first intention, especially under
-its peculiar dressing, and finally
-had to be revealed. The result was a
-surgical dressing and my foot held up
-in a chair for three weeks, during
-which time I read the “Arabian
-Nights” from end to end. As the
-first dressing was finished, I heard the
-surgeon say to my father: “that was
-a hard case, Captain, but she stood it
-like a soldier.” But when I saw how
-genuinely they all pitied, and how tenderly
-they nursed me, even walking
-lightly about the house not to jar my
-swollen and fevered limbs, in spite of
-my disobedience and detestable deception
-(and persevered in at that), my
-Sabbath breaking and unbecoming
-conduct, and all the trouble I had
-caused, conscience revived, and my
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_63'>63</span>mental suffering far exceeded my
-physical. The Arabian Nights were
-none too powerful a soporific to hold
-me in reasonable bounds. I despised
-myself and failed to sleep or eat.</p>
-
-<p class='c006'>My mother, perceiving my remorseful
-condition, came to the rescue,
-telling me soothingly, that she
-did not think it the worst thing that
-could have been done, that other little
-girls had probably done as badly, and
-strengthened her conclusions by telling
-me how she once persisted in riding
-a high mettled unbroken horse in
-opposition to her father’s commands,
-and was thrown. My supposition is
-that she had been a worthy mother of
-her equestrian son.</p>
-
-<p class='c006'>The lesson was not lost on any of
-the group. It is very certain that
-none of us, boys or girls, indulged in
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_64'>64</span>further smart tricks. Twenty-five
-years later, when on a visit to the old
-home, long left, I saw my father, then
-a grey-haired grandsire, out on the
-same little pond, fitting the skates
-carefully to the feet of his little
-twin granddaughters, holding them
-up to make their first start in safety,
-I remembered my wounded knees,
-and blessed the great Father that
-progress and change were among the
-possibilities of His people.</p>
-
-<p class='c006'>I never learned to skate. When it
-became fashionable I had neither time
-nor opportunity.</p>
-
-<p class='c009'>Along these lines I recall another
-disappointment, which, though not vital,
-was still indicative of the times.
-During the following winter a dancing
-school was opened in the hall of
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_65'>65</span>the one hotel on Oxford Plain, some
-three miles from us. It was taught
-by a personal friend of my father, a
-polished gentleman, resident of a
-neighboring town, and teacher of English
-schools. By some chance I got a
-glimpse of the dancing school at the
-opening, and was seized with a most
-intense desire to go and learn to
-dance. With my peculiar characteristics
-it was necessary for me to want
-a thing very much before mentioning
-it; but this overcame me, especially
-as the cordial teacher took tea
-with us one evening before going
-to his school, and spoke very interestingly
-of his classes. I even
-went so far as to beg permission
-to go. The dance was in my very
-feet. The violin haunted me. “Ladies
-change” and “all hands round”
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_66'>66</span>sounded in my ears and woke me from
-my sleep at night.</p>
-
-<p class='c006'>The matter was taken up in family
-council. I was thought to be
-very young to be allowed to go to a
-dancing school in a hotel. Dancing
-at that time was at a very low ebb in
-good New England society, and besides,
-there was an active revival taking
-place in both of the orthodox
-churches (or rather one a church
-and the other a society without a
-church), and it might not be a wise,
-nor even a courteous, thing to allow.
-Not that our family, with its well
-known liberal proclivities, could have
-the slightest objection on that score;
-still, like St. Paul, if meat were harmful
-to their brethren they would not
-eat it, and thus it was decided that
-I could not go. The decision was
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_67'>67</span>perfectly conscientious, kindness itself,
-and probably wise; but I have
-wondered if they could have known
-(as they never did) how severe the
-disappointment was, the tears it cost
-me in my little bed in the dark, the
-music and the master’s voice still
-sounding in my ears, if this knowledge
-would have weighed in the decision.</p>
-
-<p class='c006'>I have listened to a great deal of
-music since then, interspersed with
-very positive orders, and which generally
-called for “all hands round” but
-the dulcet notes of the violin and the
-“ladies change” were missing. Neither
-did I ever learn to dance.</p>
-
-<p class='c009'>From the peculiar gifts that were
-wont to be made me in those days, I
-am led to infer that my peculiarities
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_68'>68</span>in the direction of the dumb animal
-part of creation, were decidedly noticeable.
-On one occasion an English
-gentleman, a friend of the family,
-and, like my father, a promoter of
-fine stock, had been paying us a visit,
-and upon returning to his home, near
-Boston, sent to me a beautifully soft,
-wool-wadded basket containing two
-and a half dozens of fine, large duck’s
-eggs. It was not difficult to find
-among the numerous feathered inhabitants
-of the barns, three domestically
-inclined, motherly hens, willing to
-take charge of the big tinted eggs, albeit
-not their own, giving to them the
-strictest attention. The result was,
-that within four weeks, the shallow
-end of the little pond was covered
-with tiny balls of yellow down floating
-calmly and majestically on the
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_69'>69</span>water—darting rapidly this way and
-that, for every fly or bug so unfortunate
-as to appear, while the shore presented
-the scene of three of the most
-distracted mothers that imagination
-can picture. There was nothing majestic
-nor calm in their motions, and
-the tones which called the recreant
-broods were far from soothing; but
-like the mothers of other wayward,
-unnatural offspring, the lesson of submission
-was theirs to learn; and
-through resignation at length came
-peace.</p>
-
-<p class='c006'>In the course of two or three years
-my flock of ducks became so numerous
-as to attract the attention of the
-wild ducks, passing over from the
-northern lakes to the southern bays,
-and it was no uncommon thing for
-an entire flock, wearied with a long
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_70'>70</span>journey, to alight for a few days’ rest.
-My tame ducks learned athletics from
-these native divers and dippers, and
-the scene became at times not only interesting,
-but inspiring and instructive.</p>
-
-<p class='c006'>It is very evident to me, as I remember
-it, that my aspirations were
-by no means satisfied with an interest
-in these small specimens, such as
-ducks, hens, turkeys, geese, dogs,
-cats, etc., of which I had no lack. This
-not including canaries, of which I received
-from time to time a number as
-gifts; but I had no pleasure in them,
-and although doubtless the most inhuman
-thing that could have been
-done, I invariably opened the cage
-door and let them out.</p>
-
-<p class='c006'>But all that farm land, the three
-great barns and accompanying yards,
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_71'>71</span>called for cattle. A small herd of
-twenty-five fine milch cows came
-faithfully home each day with the
-lowering of the sun, for the milking
-and extra supper which they knew
-awaited them. With the customary
-greed of childhood I had laid claim to
-three or four of the handsomest and
-tamest of them, and believing myself
-to be their real owner, I went
-faithfully every evening to the yards
-to receive and look after them. My
-little milk pail went as well, and I
-became proficient in an art never forgotten.</p>
-
-<p class='c006'>One afternoon, on going to the barn
-as usual, I found no cows there; all
-had been driven somewhere else. As
-I stood in the corner of the great yard
-alone, I saw three or four men—the
-farm hands—with one stranger among
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_72'>72</span>them wearing a long, loose shirt or
-gown. They were all trying to get
-a large red ox onto the barn floor, to
-which he went very reluctantly. At
-length they succeeded. One of the
-men carried an axe, and stepping a
-little to the side and back, raised it
-high in the air and brought it down
-with a terrible blow. The ox fell, I
-fell too; and the next I knew I was
-in the house on a bed, and all the
-family about me, with the traditional
-camphor bottle, bathing my head to
-my great discomfort. As I regained
-consciousness they asked me what
-made me fall? I said “some one
-struck me.” “Oh, no,” they said, “no
-one struck you,” but I was not to be
-convinced and proceeded to argue the
-case with an impatient putting away
-of the hurting hands, “then what
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_73'>73</span>makes my head so sore?” Happy ignorance!
-I had not then learned the
-mystery of nerves.</p>
-
-<p class='c006'>I have, however, a very clear recollection
-of the indignation of my father
-(my mother had already expressed
-herself on the subject), on his return
-from town and hearing what had
-taken place. The hired men were
-lined up and arraigned for “cruel
-carelessness.” They had “the consideration
-to keep the cattle away,” he
-said, “but allowed that little girl to
-stand in full view.” Of course, each
-protested he had not seen me. I was
-altogether too friendly with the farm
-hands to hear them blamed, especially
-on my account, and came promptly to
-their side, assuring my father that
-they had not seen me, and that it was
-“no matter,” I was “all well now.”
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_74'>74</span>But, singularly, I lost all desire for
-meat, if I had ever had it—and all
-through life to the present, have only
-eaten it when I must for the sake of
-appearance, or as circumstances
-seemed to make it the more proper
-thing to do. The bountiful ground
-has always yielded enough for all
-my needs and wants.</p>
-
-<p class='c009'>I had been eleven years old the
-Christmas before. Great changes
-had taken place during the two or
-three preceding years. My energetic
-brothers had outgrown farming, sold
-their two farms on the hill, and come
-down and bought of my father all his
-water power on the French River, as
-well as all obtainable timber land in
-the vicinity. The staunch old up-and-down
-saw still stood in its majesty
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_75'>75</span>for the handling of the forest giants
-too massive for a lesser power, but it
-was surrounded by a cordon of belted
-“circulars,” whirling with a speed
-that quite obscured their motion,
-screaming, screeching and throwing
-out the product of their work in all
-directions; shingles, laths, thin boards,
-bolters and slitters. New dams had
-been thrown across the shifty, flighty
-stream, to be swept away in the torrents
-of the spring freshets and floating
-ice, but replaced at once with
-an obstinate manliness and enterprise
-that scarcely admitted of an interruption
-in the work.</p>
-
-<p class='c006'>In a new building along the side of
-the dam, the great burr-stones of that
-date ground out the wholesome grain
-of all the surrounding country, and
-where I had first seen it under the
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_76'>76</span>control of the one lone sawyer, now
-fifty of the strongest working men
-that could be procured, and great
-four-horse teams covered the once
-quiet mill-yard. The entire line of
-factories above had caught the inspiration,
-and the French River villages
-of North Oxford were models
-of growth and activity.</p>
-
-<p class='c006'>One sister had married and settled
-in her home near by, and a wife had
-come into my eldest brother’s home.
-Mrs. Larned, the widow to whose assistance
-my father had gone in her
-early desolation, had found her children
-now so well grown as to make it
-advisable to remove to one of the factory
-villages, where she became a
-popular boarding house keeper, and
-her children operatives in the mill.</p>
-
-<p class='c006'>Thus, I was again left to myself.
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_77'>77</span>The schools were not the best, but all
-that could be done for me, in or out
-of them, was done. I had been especially
-well taught to sew and liked
-it, but knitting was beyond me. I
-could not be held to it, and it was
-given up.</p>
-
-<p class='c006'>Through the confirmed invalidism
-of my elder sister, Dorothea, I lost
-her beautiful guidance, but the watchful
-care of my younger sister, now
-Mrs. Vassall, was truly pathetic. She
-never lost sight of my welfare, and
-her fine literary taste was a constant
-inspiration.</p>
-
-<p class='c009'>While thus in the midst of my various
-pursuits and vocations, an accidental
-turn in my wheel of fortune
-changed my entire course (for a time
-at least) and how much bearing, if
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_78'>78</span>any, it may have had on the future,
-I have never been able to determine.
-I have spoken of the younger of my
-two brothers, of the firm of S. &amp;
-D. Barton, as a fine horseman. He
-was more than that. In these days
-he would have been an athlete. The
-two men were but two years apart in
-age, of fine disposition and excellent
-physical strength, integrity and courage;
-of fine disposition and equable
-temper; yet neither of them men with
-whom an opponent would carelessly
-or tauntingly covet an encounter. The
-younger, David, from his physical activity
-and daring, was always selected
-for any feat of danger to be performed.</p>
-
-<p class='c006'>These were days when even buildings
-were “raised by hand.” All the
-neighborhood was expected to participate
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_79'>79</span>in a “raising.” Upon one occasion,
-an uncommonly large barn,
-with what was then still more uncommon,
-a cellar beneath, was to be raised.
-The rafters must be affixed to the ridgepole,
-and David Barton was assigned
-to this duty. While in its performance,
-a timber on which he was standing,
-having been weakened by an unobserved
-knot, suddenly gave way,
-and he fell directly to the first floor,
-striking on his feet on another timber
-near the bottom of the cellar. Without
-falling he leaped to the ground, and
-after a few breathless minutes declared
-himself unhurt, but was not
-permitted to return aloft. It was
-spoken of as a “remarkable adventure,”
-“a wonderful escape,” etc., and
-for a few days all went well, with the
-exception of a slight and quite unaccustomed
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_80'>80</span>headache, which continued
-to increase as the July weather progressed.
-At length he showed symptoms
-of fever; the family physician
-was called, and here commenced a
-system of medical treatment quite unknown
-to our physicians of the present
-day, other than as results of historical
-research and milestones of
-scientific advancement.</p>
-
-<p class='c006'>He was pronounced in a “settled
-fever,” which must not be “broken
-up,” and could only be held in check
-by reducing the strength of the patient.
-He had “too much blood,”
-was “too vigorous,” “just the patient
-for a fever to ‘go hard with,’” it was
-said. Accordingly, the blood was
-taken from time to time, as long as
-it seemed safe to do so. The terrible
-pain in the head continued and blisters
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_81'>81</span>were applied to all possible places,
-in the hope of withdrawing the pain.
-Sleepless, restless, in agony both
-physical and mental, his case grew
-desperate. He had been my ideal
-from earliest memory. I was distressed
-beyond measure at his condition.
-I had been his little protégée,
-his companion, and in his nervous
-wretchedness he clung to me. Thus,
-from the first days and nights of illness,
-I remained near his side. The
-fever ran on and over all the traditional
-turning points, seven, fourteen,
-twenty-one days. I could not be taken
-away from him except by compulsion,
-and he was unhappy until my return.
-I learned to take all directions for his
-medicines from his physician (who
-had eminent counsel) and to administer
-them like a genuine nurse.</p>
-
-<p class='c006'><span class='pageno' id='Page_82'>82</span>My little hands became schooled to
-the handling of the great, loathsome,
-crawling leeches which were at first
-so many snakes to me, and no fingers
-could so painlessly dress the angry
-blisters; and thus it came about, that
-I was the accepted and acknowledged
-nurse of a man almost too ill to recover.</p>
-
-<p class='c006'>Finally, as the summer passed, the
-fever gave way, and for a wonder the
-patient did not. No physician will
-doubt that I had given him poison
-enough to have killed him many times
-over, if suitably administered with
-that view. He will also understand
-the condition in which the patient was
-left. They had certainly succeeded in
-reducing his strength.</p>
-
-<p class='c006'>Late in the autumn he stood on his
-feet for the first time since July. Still
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_83'>83</span>sleepless, nervous, cold, dyspeptic—a
-mere wreck of his former self. None
-were so disturbed over his condition
-as his kind-hearted, and for those
-days, skillful physicians, who had exhausted
-their knowledge and poured
-out their sympathy and care like water,
-on the patient who, for his manliness
-and bravery, they had come to
-respect, and for his suffering learned
-to love with a parent’s tenderness.</p>
-
-<p class='c006'>It now became a matter of time.
-Councils of physicians for twenty
-miles around sat in judgment on the
-case. They could only recommend;
-and more blisters, setons and various
-methods of external irritation for the
-withdrawal of internal pain followed,
-from month to month and season to
-season. All these were my preferred
-care.</p>
-
-<p class='c006'><span class='pageno' id='Page_84'>84</span>I realize now how carefully and
-apprehensively the whole family
-watched the little nurse, but I had no
-idea of it then. I thought my position
-the most natural thing in the
-world; I almost forgot that there was
-an outside to the house.</p>
-
-<p class='c006'>This state of things continued with
-little change—a trifling gain of
-strength in my patient at times—for
-two years, when, entirely unexpected,
-the most tabooed and little known of
-all medical treatments, restored him
-to health. It is to be remembered at
-that date there was no homeopathy,
-no hydropathy, no sanitariums, no
-Christian Science, nothing but the
-regular school of allopathic medicine.
-Medical practitioners, baffled by lack
-of science, surrounded by ignorance
-on all such subjects and more or less
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_85'>85</span>of superstition, struggled manfully on
-toward the blessed light of the scientific
-knowledge of to-day, which they
-have so richly attained.</p>
-
-<p class='c006'>It was not to be wondered at that
-the slightest departure from the beaten
-track, under these conditions, was
-held as unpardonable and punishable
-quackery; and that the first “ism” that
-broke through the defense fought the
-fight of a forlorn hope. There are
-young physicians of good historical
-knowledge to-day, who have never
-learned that “Thompsonianism” was
-that “ism”; that Dr. Samuel Thompson
-fought that fight, and that they are
-pursuing many excellent methods
-which are the result of his thought;
-that it was he who first advanced the
-theory (in this country at least,) that
-fever was not the foe, but the friend
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_86'>86</span>of the patient; that it was simply unequal
-animal warmth and vigor—that
-people did not have too much blood
-any more than they had too much
-bone, and could as ill afford to lose
-it; that if the blood were too thick,
-or too thin, or of a bad quality, taking
-away a portion of it would not
-rectify or purify the remainder. That
-a blister was not likely to soothe a
-nervous patient to sleep, or to extract
-a pain, save by creating a greater. But
-that a better way to treat disturbances
-was to open the pores generally, by a
-vapor bath—designated “Thompson’s
-Steam Box,” and greatly to be feared.
-He and his few followers were
-known as “Steam Doctors”—and the
-public warned against them.</p>
-
-<p class='c006'>It happened that one of his disciples,
-a “Steam Doctor,” residing in a
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_87'>87</span>neighboring town (I will write his
-name in grateful remembrance—Dr.
-Asa McCullum), had watched this remarkable
-case with interest and pity,
-convinced that the right remedies had
-not reached it.</p>
-
-<p class='c006'>He ventured at length to approach
-my father on the subject; then my
-brother, who was willing to attempt
-anything short of suicide. The result
-was the removal of the patient to the
-home asylum of the doctor for treatment.
-In three weeks he was so far
-restored as to return home and take
-his place in his business, like one come
-back from the dead. I remember the
-greetings—the tears of gladness on
-the blessed face of our family physician
-when he came to welcome him
-home: “And so, David, something
-good has come out of Nazareth.”</p>
-
-<p class='c006'><span class='pageno' id='Page_88'>88</span>I was again free; my occupation
-gone. Life seemed very strange and
-idle to me. I wondered that my
-father took me to ride so much, and
-that my mother hoped she could make
-me some new clothes now, for in the
-two years I had not grown an inch,
-had been to school one-half day, and
-had gained one pound in weight.</p>
-
-<p class='c006'>This singular mode of life, at so
-young an age, could not have been
-without its characteristic effects. In
-some respects it had served to heighten
-serious defects. The seclusion had
-increased the troublesome bashfulness.
-I had grown even more timid, shrinking
-and sensitive in the presence of
-others; absurdly careful and methodical
-for a child; afraid of giving
-trouble by letting my wants be known,
-thereby giving the very pain I sought
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_89'>89</span>to avoid, and instead of feeling that
-my freedom gave me time for recreation
-or play, it seemed to me like time
-wasted, and I looked anxiously about
-for some useful occupation.</p>
-
-<p class='c006'>As usual, my blessed sister, Mrs.
-Vassall, came to the rescue. Taking
-advantage of an all-absorbing love of
-poetry (which I always had) she made
-a weapon of it by providing me with
-the poetical works of Walter Scott,
-which I had not read, and proposed
-that we read them together. We naturally
-commenced with “The Lady of
-the Lake.” I was immediately transported
-to the Highlands and the
-Bonny Braes, plucking the heather
-and broom and guiding the skiff
-across Loch Katrine, listening to the
-sweet warning song of poor crazed
-Blanche of Devon, thrilling with,
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_90'>90</span>“Saxon, I am Roderick Dhu,” and
-trudging along with the old minstrel
-and Ellen to Sterling tower and the
-Court of Fitz-James. “Marmion” followed,
-and then all the train of English
-poetry that a child could take in.</p>
-
-<p class='c009'>My second individual ownership
-was “Billy.” His personality (which I
-never questioned), was represented by
-a high stepping brown Morgan horse,
-with glossy coat, slim legs, pointed
-ears, long curly black mane and tail,
-and weighing nearly nine hundred
-pounds.</p>
-
-<p class='c006'>Although a good driver, his forte
-was the saddle. His gait (or rather, I
-should say, gaits) was first a delightful
-single-foot; but which he had the
-faculty of changing to a rack, or pace
-or trot, as occasion or haste seemed
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_91'>91</span>to call for; and as a last resort, he
-could cover them all by something one
-does not like to name; but we only
-used that gait on extraordinary occasions.
-My father had purchased and
-given Billy to me when about ten
-years old. The same figures will do
-for us both.</p>
-
-<p class='c006'>I had three or four neighboring girl
-associates who also had their own or
-family horses, and our riding parties
-were the events of the season. Anticipating
-the deep, forbidding snows
-of the winter in New England, we
-had the custom of celebrating
-Thanksgiving day by a final party
-for the season. Even this was
-cold and had often some traces
-of snow.</p>
-
-<p class='c006'>On the present occasion there were
-but three of us, Martha, Eveline and
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_92'>92</span>myself. Martha had a fine sorrel
-trotter, Eveline a spirited single-footer.
-The day was cold and threatening.
-Our ride was to Worcester,
-some ten miles. When about three
-miles from home, on our return, a
-blinding snowstorm set in, literally
-a gale. This either frightened or excited
-Eveline’s horse, which, mastering
-the situation by a quick toss of the
-head, and catch of the bit (a trick he
-evidently understood), dropped his
-single-foot as something adapted to
-ladies and little girls, and fell to using
-all the feet he had, the best he
-knew. Awed by her peril, but powerless
-to aid, we could only follow our
-fleeing comrade to be ready to help
-when she should fall, as we were sure
-she must. The gale mercilessly increased;
-so did our speed. We kept
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_93'>93</span>nearly alongside, every horse upon
-the “dead run.”</p>
-
-<p class='c006'>We must have presented a striking
-miniature picture of the veritable
-“Three Furies” on a rampage. A
-country road and no one passing.
-Martha and myself each rushing directly
-past our own homes unobserved
-in the storm, till at length we rounded
-the curve that brought the flying horse
-in sight of his own stable. They had
-sighted the coming cavalcade. The
-gates were thrown wide open, and a
-man stationed on either side to catch
-both horse and rider when they should
-enter.</p>
-
-<p class='c006'>Seeing the worn-out girl once safely
-in her father’s arms, we turned away,
-with an entirely new chapter added to
-our very limited stock of equestrian
-knowledge. We were all alive and
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_94'>94</span>unharmed, and I alone am here now to
-tell the little stories of childhood’s terrifying
-dangers and miraculous escapes.</p>
-
-<p class='c009'>We were midway between the two
-district schools, a long mile and a half
-from either, and it frequently chanced
-that a season or two of indifferent
-schools followed each other in train.
-The experiment of sending me away
-to school was not to be repeated, and
-accordingly I was undertaken at
-home. My mathematical brother, Stephen,
-took charge of that department,
-and Mrs. Vassall the other needful
-studies, while my former patient,
-brother David, the equestrian of early
-days, now grown strong and well,
-kept to his rule of practical teaching.
-I recall vividly the half impatient
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_95'>95</span>frown on his fine face when he would
-see me do an awkward thing, however
-trivial. He detested false motions;
-wanted the thing done rightly the
-first time. If I started to go somewhere,
-go, and not turn back; if to
-do something, do it. I must throw a
-ball or a stone with an under swing
-like a boy and not a girl, and must
-make it go where I sent it, and not
-fall at my feet and foolishly laugh at
-it. If I would drive a nail, strike it
-fairly on the head every time, and not
-split the board. If I would draw a
-screw, turn it right the first time. I
-must tie a square knot that would hold,
-and not tie my horse with a slip noose
-and leave him to choke himself. These
-were little things, still a part of the
-instructions not to be undervalued. In
-the rather practical life which has
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_96'>96</span>sometimes fallen to me, I have wondered
-if they were not among the most
-useful, and if that handsome frown
-were not one of my best lessons.</p>
-
-<p class='c006'>At length there came a school that
-could be utilized, and my family instructors
-were relieved. The school
-to the north of us was undertaken by
-Mr. Lucian Burleigh, a younger member
-of the noted Burleigh family, and
-brother of William H. Burleigh, the
-poet. It seemed very strange to me
-to be in school again. I had been so
-long accustomed to govern myself, in
-a manner, that I wondered how any
-one should need others to govern
-them. If scholars came there to
-learn, why should they try, or want,
-to do anything else? There is no
-doubt that I seemed equally unaccountable
-and prudish to them.</p>
-<div class='figcenter id004'>
-<img src='images/i_096.jpg' alt='' class='ig001' />
-<div class='ic002'>
-<p>MR. JONATHAN DANA,<br /><br />MY OXFORD TEACHER.</p>
-</div>
-</div>
-
-<p class='c006'><span class='pageno' id='Page_97'>97</span>The quick perceptions of the teacher
-at once comprehended the conditions,
-and he treated me with the
-greatest consideration and kindness;
-advising such changes and additions
-as seemed suitable, and most in accord
-with the studies I had taken with
-me; even, as I could later see, forming
-some new classes in branches outside
-of the customary routine of the public
-school; as elementary astronomy,
-ancient history, and the “Science of
-Language”; his own literary and
-scholarly tastes pointing significantly
-to the latter. If Milton’s “Paradise
-Lost,” and Pollok’s “Course of Time”
-were ever dissected, transposed, analyzed
-and “parsed” by any class of
-vigilant youths, it was then and there.</p>
-
-<p class='c006'>The winter passed all too soon. A
-mile and a half through the snow had
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_98'>98</span>been only a pleasure. Our faithful,
-brotherly teacher left us, never to return;
-but the still brotherly friendship
-between teacher and pupil remained
-unbroken until his summons came.</p>
-
-<p class='c006'>After a busy summer a similarly
-good fortune awaited me in the next
-winter term of school. Mr. Jonathan
-Dana, one of Oxford’s most scholarly
-men and a teacher of note, commenced
-the winter school to the south
-of us. I have no words to describe
-the value of his instruction, nor the
-pains he took with his eager pupil. I
-had been far too thoroughly drilled
-to require time for the customary
-classes of the public school, but did
-require instruction in branches forbidden
-in their lawful curriculum.</p>
-
-<p class='c006'>In spite of the labor of a school of
-sixty pupils of all ages, with no assistant,
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_99'>99</span>I was permitted to take philosophy,
-chemistry and elementary
-Latin—all to be taught outside of
-school hours. With no laboratory at
-hand, I have often marveled at the
-amount of experimental instruction
-he found it possible to give me. So
-generally appreciated was the excellence
-of the school that the term was
-continued beyond the customary three
-months. My grateful homage for my
-inestimable teacher and his interest in
-his early pupil, became memories of a
-lifetime, and the social acquaintance
-was never interrupted until the late
-summons came to him, white haired
-and venerable, to go up higher.</p>
-
-<p class='c006'>My family were all gratified by my
-progress and my deportment as a
-student, but I was still diffident, timid,
-non-committal, afraid of giving
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_100'>100</span>trouble and difficult to understand.
-My physical growth had not met
-their expectations nor their hopes. I
-grew slowly and was still a “little
-girl” in appearance. This went to
-show how positive the early check
-had been, and how slowly the repairs
-were made, for it was said that I
-gained an inch in height between the
-ages of twenty and twenty-one.</p>
-
-<p class='c009'>The firm of my brothers, S. &amp; D.
-Barton, had added to their ever increasing
-business the manufacture of
-cloth. A factory had been erected
-and a partnership entered into with
-Messrs. Paul and Samuel Parsons,
-two elegant gentlemen among the
-earlier manufacturers of satinet in
-this country, and the new factory was
-known as “The Satinet Mill of North
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_101'>101</span>Oxford.” A very superior article of
-cloth was made, the operatives almost
-entirely American, and very largely
-from families of the neighborhood or
-surrounding country. Occupations
-for women were few in those days,
-and often the school and music teacher,
-weary of the monotonous life,
-sought change in the more remunerative
-loom of the factory. I name this
-as a matter of history, as the North
-Oxford Mills were the third, if not
-the second after Slater, who produced
-the first spindle and power looms in
-America, at the risk of his life.</p>
-
-<p class='c006'>I had been taken through the new
-factory by my brother; had seen these
-young persons at work; watched the
-shuttles fly under the deft fingers of
-the weavers, and felt that there was
-something I could do. There was no
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_102'>102</span>school, I was idle. After a little
-quiet reflection I astonished the family
-by announcing my desire to go
-into the mill. I wanted to weave
-cloth. At first they tried laughing at
-me. I was too sensitive to be dealt
-with in that way. Then reasoning.
-I was “too small”; it was not a proper
-thing for me to do. But I was not
-easily dissuaded. One day in the
-midst of a family council, my brother
-Stephen chanced to call. He listened
-attentively, saw that I was anxious
-and troubled, and was giving trouble
-to others as well. At length he spoke.
-Addressing my mother, he said: “I
-do not see anything so very much out
-of the way in the request. I wonder if
-we are not drawing the lines too
-tightly on our little sister? A few
-years ago she wanted to learn to
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_103'>103</span>dance; this was denied as frivolous
-and improper; now she asks to work.
-She took up a work by herself and
-did it two years, a work that no child
-would be expected to do, and did it
-well. She is certainly a properly behaved
-little girl, and I cannot understand
-why we should trouble ourselves
-or her so much concerning the
-proprieties of her life. For my part,
-I am very willing to arrange a pair
-of looms for her and let her try.” A
-hush fell on the group. My anxious
-mother seemed relieved. The big
-brother had spoken. I crept shyly up
-under his stalwart arm and kissed his
-bearded cheek.</p>
-
-<p class='c006'>The next day a low platform was
-run along in front of a pair of new,
-glossy looms, just by the desk of the
-overseer of the room. A good weaver
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_104'>104</span>was given charge to instruct me, and
-when I stepped upon that platform
-and looked down upon the evenly
-drawn warp and the swiftly flying
-shuttles, and felt that they were mine,
-I imagine the sensation was akin to
-that of a young queen whose foot first
-presses the throne. I was too carefully
-watched to permit a mistake,
-and too interested to be tired. Before
-the end of the week I was able to discharge
-my instructress, or it is more
-probable she discharged herself in
-view of my self-sufficiency. I could
-scarcely wait in the morning for the
-bell to call me, early as it would be,
-and I walked up that long, outside
-flight of black, greasy stairs and entered
-that whirring, clashing room
-with as much pride and satisfaction
-as I would have entered the finest and
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_105'>105</span>most highly embellished schoolroom.
-I observed that the help all looked
-at me as I went in, and McDonald, the
-overseer, always raised his Scotch cap
-a bit by the tassel, or touched his finger
-to the rim, fitting so closely to
-his high forehead. I thought I ought
-to make some acknowledgement of
-this, and always did so, but could not
-understand it. I told my mother
-about it and asked her what he did
-it for? She said that it was probably
-because I was “so little.” That perhaps
-if I were as large as the other
-girls he might not do it. I thought
-this a reasonable solution and was satisfied.</p>
-
-<p class='c006'>I finished my first week, commenced
-my second, and went through with no
-assistance. On Saturday my webs
-were cut from the looms, examined
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_106'>106</span>and pronounced of first quality, showing
-great care. I took my proud record
-home. The next day (Sunday),
-Mr. Samuel Parsons, with the prudent
-care that could not trust even the
-watchman too implicitly, went into the
-mill by himself, ascending to the
-picker room in the top story, where
-the light, oiled wool was piled in
-great quantities. He casually placed
-his hand upon it in passing, and observing
-that it felt warm, he plunged
-his arm in to lift it. The flames enveloped
-him. He ran at full speed
-the length of the building to the bell
-rope. The fire was there almost before
-him. He gave two strokes, when
-the flames drove him from the room;
-they licked down the air shafts and
-belt holes, lapping up the oil like so
-much food, as it was.</p>
-
-<p class='c006'><span class='pageno' id='Page_107'>107</span>The perfection of the magnificent
-fire departments of the present day
-was far in the future then. In three
-hours it was all over, and the new
-North Oxford Satinet Mills were a
-smoking pile of rubbish, a thing of
-the past. No heart was heavier than
-mine. The strong, energetic brothers
-knew that rebuilding would commence
-at once, but I mourned without hope.</p>
-
-<p class='c006'>If ever there were lost or omitted
-a well-turned joke or a bit of humor
-by the various members of the Barton
-family it was clearly an accident,
-no such omission being ever intended;
-and thus it was suggested to me, that,
-as the fire was manifestly a case of
-spontaneous combustion, could it have
-been that I worked so fast that the
-friction set the mill on fire? That
-joke on me lasted many years. The
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_108'>108</span>mill was rebuilt, as well as several
-others, some to be burned, some to be
-sold; but I had found other occupations
-more congenial to the other
-members of the household, it is to be
-hoped, if not to me.</p>
-
-<p class='c006'>The recital of this incident by myself,
-or some one else, has given rise
-to the bit of romance cropping out occasionally,
-in the sketches one sees,
-that I was a factory girl and earned
-the money to pay off the mortgage on
-my father’s farm. I wish the first
-statement might have been true. Nothing
-to-day would gratify me more
-than to know that I had been one of
-those self-reliant, intelligent, American-born
-girls like our sweet poetess,
-Lucy Larcom, and like her had stood
-before the power looms in the early
-progress of the manufactories of our
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_109'>109</span>great and matchless country. I fear
-that my plain, simple facts will rob
-many a fancy sketch of its brightest
-tints, as in this instance. I am compelled
-to confess in regard to the second
-statement, that my father never
-had a mortgage that I knew of, and,
-therefore, had no need of my brave
-help. On the other hand, he had
-something to give to me.</p>
-
-<p class='c009'>I think it usually occurs in small
-communities that there is one family,
-or one house, to which all strangers
-or new comers naturally gravitate.
-Nothing was plainer than that ours
-was that house. All lecturers, upon
-any subject, clergymen on trial, whoever
-had a new idea to expound and
-was in need of an abiding place meanwhile,
-found one there. My father’s
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_110'>110</span>active and liberal mind inclined him
-to examination and toleration, and his
-cordial hospitality was seconded by
-my mother’s welcome to any one who
-could bring new thought or culture to
-herself or her family.</p>
-
-<p class='c006'>These were the very earliest days of
-phrenology. The famous brothers,
-O. S. and L. N. Fowler, worthy disciples
-of Spurzheim and Coombe,
-were commencing their lifelong
-work. Young men of advanced ideas,
-thought, energy and purpose.</p>
-
-<p class='c006'>The “Phrenological Journal,” if
-existing at all, was in its infancy. The
-Fowler brothers were among the
-most interesting and popular lecturers
-in the country. Two courses of
-lectures by L. N. Fowler were arranged
-for our town; one for North
-and the other for South Oxford, or
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_111'>111</span>“Oxford Plain,” as it is better known.
-He very naturally became the guest
-of my father and mother.</p>
-
-<p class='c006'>These two courses of lectures covered
-nearly a month of time. How
-can the value of the results of that
-month, extending through a lifetime,
-be put into words? How measure the
-worth of the ideas, the knowledge of
-one’s self, and of others, growing out
-of it? Aside from this was his aid
-and comfort to my mother in her perplexity
-concerning her incomprehensible
-child. I recall the long, earnest
-talks, in which it was evident that I
-was the prime subject, although not
-clearly realizing it at the time. Upon
-one occasion there was no question.
-I was ill (of mumps, I believe) and to
-avoid loneliness was permitted to lie
-on the lounge in the large sitting room
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_112'>112</span>through the day. Forgetting my
-presence, or believing me asleep, the
-conversation went on in my hearing,
-portions of which at this late day I
-recall. My mother remarked that
-none of her children had ever been so
-difficult to manage. “Was I disobedient,
-exacting or wayward?” asked
-Mr. Fowler. Oh no! she often
-wished I were, she would then know
-what to do, for I would make my
-wants known, and they could be supplied.
-But I was so timid and afraid
-of making trouble that they were in
-constant fear of neglecting me; I
-would do without the most needed article
-rather than ask for it, and my
-bashfulness increased rather than diminished
-as I grew older. As an illustration,
-she stated that only last Sunday
-the child appeared with bare
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_113'>113</span>hands when we were ready for church.
-Upon being asked where were her
-gloves, she reluctantly replied that she
-“had none. They were worn out.”
-Upon being asked why she had not
-said so and asked for others, the reply
-was a burst of tears and an attempt to
-leave the room. “We would not permit
-this unhappy day at home alone,
-and took her as she was,” said my
-mother. All this sounded very badly
-to me as I heard it rehearsed. It was
-all true, all wrong; would I, could I
-ever learn to do better?</p>
-
-<p class='c006'>Mr. Fowler replied that these characteristics
-were all indicated; that,
-however much her friends might suffer
-from them, she would always suffer
-more. “They may be apparently
-outgrown, but the sensitive nature
-will always remain. She will never
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_114'>114</span>assert herself for herself—she will suffer
-wrong first—but for others she
-will be perfectly fearless.” To my
-mother’s anxious question, “what shall
-I do?” he replied, “Throw responsibility
-upon her. She has all the qualities
-of a teacher. As soon as her age
-will permit, give her a school to
-teach.” I well remember how this
-suggestion shocked me. I should not
-have remembered all these advices,
-but years after they were found with
-much more among my mother’s carefully
-preserved papers; some correspondence
-must have followed. The
-depth and faithfulness of the interest
-felt, was shown in the fact that the
-great reader of human character,
-through his long life in foreign lands
-as well as his own, never forgot the
-troublesome child. Occasional correspondence
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_115'>115</span>and valued meetings
-across the sea marked the milestones
-of life, till one road came to an end.
-A great and true man and friend of
-humanity had gone, and the world
-was better for his having lived in it.</p>
-
-<p class='c006'>At the close of the second term of
-school, the advice was acted upon, and
-it was arranged that I teach the
-school in District No. 9. My sister
-resided within the district. How well
-I remember the preparations—the efforts
-to look larger and older, the examination
-by the learned committee
-of one clergyman, one lawyer and one
-justice of the peace; the certificate
-with “excellent” added at the close;
-the bright May morning over the
-dewy, grassy road to the schoolhouse,
-neither large nor new, and not a pupil
-in sight.</p>
-
-<p class='c006'><span class='pageno' id='Page_116'>116</span>On entering, I found my little
-school of forty pupils all seated according
-to their own selection, quietly
-waiting with folded hands. Bright,
-rosy-cheeked boys and girls from four
-to thirteen, with the exception of four
-lads, as tall and nearly as old as myself.
-These four boys naturally looked
-a little curiously at me, as if forming
-an opinion of how best to dispose of
-me, as rumor had it that on the preceding
-summer, not being <i><span lang="fr" xml:lang="fr">en rapport</span></i>
-with the young lady teacher, they had
-excluded her from the building and
-taken possession themselves. All
-arose as I entered, and remained
-standing until requested to sit. Never
-having observed how schools were
-opened, I was compelled, as one
-would say, to “blaze my own way.”
-I was too timid to address them, but
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_117'>117</span>holding my Bible, I said they might
-take their Testaments and turn to the
-Sermon on the Mount. All who
-could read, read a verse each, I reading
-with them in turn. This opened
-the way for remarks upon the meaning
-of what they had read. I found
-them more ready to express themselves
-than I had expected, which was
-helpful to me as well. I asked them
-what they supposed the Saviour meant
-by saying that they must love their
-enemies and do good to them that
-hated and misused them? This was a
-hard question, and they hesitated, until
-at length a little bright-eyed girl
-with great earnestness replied: “I
-think He meant that you must be good
-to everybody, and mustn’t quarrel nor
-make nobody feel bad, and I’m going
-to try.” An ominous smile crept
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_118'>118</span>over the rather hard faces of my four
-lads, but my response was so prompt,
-and my approval so hearty, that it disappeared
-and they listened attentively
-but ventured no remarks. With this
-moderate beginning the day progressed,
-and night found us social,
-friendly and classed for a school.
-Country schools did not admit of
-home dinners. I also remained. On
-the second or third day an accident
-on their outside field of rough play
-called me to them. They had been
-playing unfairly and dangerously and
-needed teaching, even to play well. I
-must have thought they required object
-lessons, for almost imperceptibly
-either to them or to myself, I joined
-in the game and was playing with
-them.</p>
-
-<p class='c006'>My four lads soon perceived that I
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_119'>119</span>was no stranger to their sports or
-their tricks; that my early education
-had not been neglected, and that they
-were not the first boys I had seen.
-When they found that I was as agile
-and as strong as themselves, that my
-throw was as sure and as straight as
-theirs, and that if they won a game
-it was because I permitted it, their
-respect knew no bounds. No courtesy
-within their knowledge was neglected.
-Their example was sufficient
-for the entire school. I have seen no
-finer type of boys. They were faithful
-to me in their boyhood, and in
-their manhood faithful to their country.
-Their blood crimsoned its hardest
-fields, and the little bright-eyed
-girl with the good resolve, has made
-her whole life a blessing to others,
-and still lives to follow the teaching
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_120'>120</span>given her. Little Emily has “made
-nobody feel bad.”</p>
-
-<p class='c006'>My school was continued beyond
-the customary length of time,
-and its only hard feature was our
-parting. In memory I see that pitiful
-group of children sobbing their way
-down the hill after the last good-bye
-was said, and I was little better. We
-had all been children together, and
-when, in accordance with the then custom
-at town meetings, the grades of
-the schools were named and No. 9
-stood first for discipline, I thought it
-the greatest injustice, and remonstrated,
-affirming that there had been
-no discipline, that not one scholar had
-ever been disciplined. Child that I
-was, I did not know that the surest
-test of discipline is its absence.</p>
-
-<p class='c006'>If the published school report, so
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_121'>121</span>misunderstood by me, had given me
-displeasure, it had also given me a
-local reputation, quite as unexpected.
-I soon found myself the recipient of
-numerous invitations to teach in the
-nearby towns, especially such schools
-as required the “discipline” so largely
-accredited to, and so little deserved,
-by me.</p>
-
-<p class='c006'>Declination, on my part, was not
-to be thought of. All members of the
-family were only too grateful for the
-progress I had made towards proper
-self-assurance to permit any backsliding,
-and it was early settled that I
-accept the application of the honorable
-committee, to teach the next summer
-school at what was known as the
-“Mill-ward” in the adjoining town of
-Charlton, commencing on the first
-Monday in May of the following year—a
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_122'>122</span>“master” teaching the winter
-term.</p>
-
-<p class='c009'>One day, early in September, my
-brother David, now one of the active,
-popular business men of the town,
-nearly took my breath away by inviting
-me to accompany him on a journey
-to the state of Maine, to be present
-at his wedding and with him
-bring back the wife who was to grace
-his home and share his future life.</p>
-
-<p class='c006'>There was now more lengthening of
-skirts, and a rush of dressmaking such
-as I had never known before; and
-when, two weeks later, I found myself
-with my brother and a rather gay
-party of ladies and gentlemen, friends
-of his, at one of the most elegant hotels
-in Boston (where I had never
-been) waiting the arrival of a delayed
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_123'>123</span>steamer, I was so overcome by
-the dread of committing some impropriety
-or indiscretion which might
-embarrass my brother that I begged
-him to permit me to go back home.
-I was not distressed about what might
-be thought of <em>me</em>. I did not seem to
-care much about that; but how it
-might reflect upon my brother, and
-the mortification that my awkwardness
-could not fail to inflict on him.</p>
-
-<p class='c006'>I had never set foot on a vessel
-or seagoing craft of any kind, and
-when, in the glitter of that finely
-equipped steamer, I really crossed
-over a corner of the great Atlantic
-ocean, the very waves of which
-touched other continents as well, I
-felt that my world was miraculously
-widening.</p>
-
-<p class='c006'>It was another merry party, and
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_124'>124</span>magnificent spans of horses that met
-and galloped away with us over the
-country to our destination.</p>
-
-<p class='c006'>But the crowning astonishment
-came when I was informed that it was
-the desire and decision of all parties,
-that I act as bridesmaid. That I assist
-in introducing the younger of the
-guests, and stand beside the tall, handsome
-young bride who was to be my
-sister, while she pledged her troth to
-the brother dearer to me than my own
-life.</p>
-
-<p class='c006'>This responsibility seemed to throw
-the whole world wide open to me.
-How well I remember the tearful resolution
-with which I pledged myself
-to try to overcome my troublesome
-propensities and to strive only for the
-courage of the right, and for the fearlessness
-of true womanhood so much
-needed and earnestly desired, and so
-painfully lacking.</p>
-<div class='figcenter id004'>
-<img src='images/i_124.jpg' alt='' class='ig001' />
-<div class='ic002'>
-<p>DAVID BARTON.<br /><br />MY YOUNGER BROTHER AND RIDING MASTER.</p>
-</div>
-</div>
-
-<p class='c006'><span class='pageno' id='Page_125'>125</span>November found us home again.
-Under the circumstances, there must
-naturally be a share of social gayeties
-during the winter, and some preparations
-for my new school duties; and I
-waited with more or less apprehension
-for what would be my first life among
-strangers, and the coming of my anticipated
-“First of May.” With
-slight variation I could have joined
-truthfully in the dear old child refrain:</p>
-
-<div class='lg-container-b c010'>
- <div class='linegroup'>
- <div class='group'>
- <div class='line'>“Then wake and call me early,</div>
- <div class='line in2'>Call me early, mother dear,”</div>
- <div class='line'>For that will be the veriest day</div>
- <div class='line in2'>“Of all the glad New Year.”</div>
- </div>
- </div>
-</div>
-
-<div class='pbb'>
- <hr class='pb c003' />
-</div>
-<div class='tnotes'>
-
-<div class='section ph2'>
-
-<div class='nf-center-c0'>
-<div class='nf-center c004'>
- <div>TRANSCRIBER’S NOTES</div>
- </div>
-</div>
-
-</div>
-
- <ol class='ol_1 c002'>
- <li>Silently corrected typographical errors and variations in spelling.
-
- </li>
- <li>Archaic, non-standard, and uncertain spellings retained as printed.
- </li>
- </ol>
-
-</div>
-
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