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text-indent: 0em; } - body {font-family: Georgia, serif, 'DejaVu Sans'; text-align: justify; } - table {font-size: .9em; padding: 1.5em .5em 1em; page-break-inside: avoid; - clear: both; } - div.titlepage {text-align: center; page-break-before: always; - page-break-after: always; } - div.titlepage p {text-align: center; text-indent: 0em; font-weight: bold; - line-height: 1.5; margin-top: 3em; } - .ph1 { text-indent: 0em; font-weight: bold; font-size: xx-large; - margin: .67em auto; page-break-before: always; } - .ph2 { text-indent: 0em; font-weight: bold; font-size: x-large; margin: .75em auto; - page-break-before: always; } - .x-ebookmaker p.dropcap:first-letter { float: left; } - </style> - </head> - <body> - -<div style='text-align:center; font-size:1.2em; font-weight:bold'>The Project Gutenberg eBook of The story of my childhood, by Clara Barton</div> - -<div style='display:block; margin:1em 0'> -This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere in the United States and -most other parts of the world at no cost and with almost no restrictions -whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms -of the Project Gutenberg License included with this eBook or online -at <a href="https://www.gutenberg.org">www.gutenberg.org</a>. If you -are not located in the United States, you will have to check the laws of the -country where you are located before using this eBook. -</div> - -<div style='display:block; margin-top:1em; margin-bottom:1em; margin-left:2em; text-indent:-2em'>Title: The story of my childhood</div> - -<div style='display:block; margin-top:1em; margin-bottom:1em; margin-left:2em; text-indent:-2em'>Author: Clara Barton</div> - -<div style='display:block; margin:1em 0'>Release Date: March 05, 2021 [eBook #64704]</div> - -<div style='display:block; margin:1em 0'>Language: English</div> - -<div style='display:block; margin:1em 0'>Character set encoding: UTF-8</div> - -<div style='display:block; margin-left:2em; text-indent:-2em'>Produced by: Richard Tonsing and the Online Distributed Proofreading Team at https://www.pgdp.net (This file was produced from images generously made available by The Internet Archive)</div> - -<div style='margin-top:2em; margin-bottom:4em'>*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE STORY OF MY CHILDHOOD ***</div> - -<div class='tnotes covernote'> - -<p class='c000'><b>Transcriber’s Note:</b></p> - -<p class='c000'>The cover image was created by the transcriber and is placed in the public domain.</p> - -</div> - -<div class='titlepage'> - -<div> - <h1 class='c001'>THE STORY OF MY CHILDHOOD</h1> -</div> - -<div class='nf-center-c0'> -<div class='nf-center c002'> - <div>BY</div> - <div class='c003'><span class='xlarge'>CLARA BARTON</span></div> - <div class='c002'>NEW YORK</div> - <div>THE BAKER & TAYLOR CO.</div> - <div>1907</div> - </div> -</div> - -</div> - -<div class='nf-center-c0'> -<div class='nf-center c004'> - <div><span class='small'>Copyright, 1907, by</span></div> - <div><span class='small'><span class='sc'>The Journal Publishing Co.</span>,</span></div> - <div><span class='small'>Meriden, Conn.</span></div> - <div class='c002'><span class='small'><span class='sc'>The Journal Press.</span></span></div> - </div> -</div> - -<div class='chapter ph1'> - -<div class='nf-center-c0'> -<div class='nf-center c004'> - <div>THE STORY OF MY CHILDHOOD.</div> - </div> -</div> - -</div> - -<div class='chapter'> - <span class='pageno' id='Page_5'>5</span> - <h2 class='c005'>PREFACE</h2> -</div> - -<div class='lg-container-l c002'> - <div class='linegroup'> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line'><em>Dear Miss Clara Barton</em>:</div> - </div> - </div> -</div> - -<p class='c006'>Our classes in The History of the United -States are studying about you, and we want -to know more.</p> - -<p class='c006'>Our teacher says she has seen you. That -you live in, or near Washington, District -of Columbia, and that, although very busy, -she thought you might be willing to receive -a short letter from us, and I write -to ask you to be so kind as to tell us what -you did when you were a little girl like us. -All of us want to know. I am almost thirteen.</p> - -<p class='c006'>If you could send us a few words, we -should all be very happy. I write for all.</p> - -<div class='lg-container-r'> - <div class='linegroup'> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line'>Your little girl friend,</div> - <div class='line in14'><span class='sc'>Mary St. Clare</span>,</div> - <div class='line in14'>* * * New York.</div> - </div> - </div> -</div> - -<p class='c007'>October third, nineteen hundred, six.</p> - -<div class='lg-container-l c002'> - <div class='linegroup'> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line'><span class='pageno' id='Page_6'>6</span><em>Miss Clara Barton</em>:</div> - </div> - </div> -</div> - -<p class='c006'>I am studying about you in my History, -and what you did in the war, and I thought -I would write and ask you what you did -afore you did that.</p> - -<div class='lg-container-r'> - <div class='linegroup'> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line'>Yours truly,</div> - <div class='line in4'><span class='sc'>James C. Hamlin</span>.</div> - </div> - </div> -</div> - -<div class='lg-container-l'> - <div class='linegroup'> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line'>* * * Center, Iowa,</div> - <div class='line in2'>May 24th, 1906.</div> - </div> - </div> -</div> - -<div class='lg-container-l c002'> - <div class='linegroup'> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line'><span class='pageno' id='Page_7'>7</span><b>Dear Children of the Schools:</b></div> - </div> - </div> -</div> - -<p class='c006'>Your oft-repeated appeals have reached -me. They are too many and too earnest -to be disregarded; and because of them, -and because of my love for you, I have -dedicated this little book to you. I have -made it small, that you may the more easily -read it. I have done it in the hope that -it may give you pleasure, and in the wish -that, when you shall be women and men, -you may each remember, as I do, that you -were once a child, full of childish thoughts -and action, but of whom it was said, “Suffer -them to come unto Me, and forbid -them not, for of such is the Kingdom of -Heaven.”</p> - -<div class='lg-container-r'> - <div class='linegroup'> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line'>Faithfully your friend,</div> - <div class='line in12'>CLARA BARTON.</div> - </div> - </div> -</div> - -<div class='lg-container-l'> - <div class='linegroup'> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line'>Glen Echo, Maryland,</div> - <div class='line in2'>May twenty-ninth, 1907.</div> - </div> - </div> -</div> - -<div class='figcenter id001'> -<span class='pageno' id='Page_9'>9</span> -<img src='images/i_009.jpg' alt='' class='ig001' /> -</div> - -<div class='chapter'> - <h2 class='c005'>THE STORY OF MY CHILDHOOD.</h2> -</div> - -<div class='nf-center-c0'> -<div class='nf-center c002'> - <div>BY CLARA BARTON.</div> - </div> -</div> - -<p class='drop-capa0_0_6 c008'>It was May—the cherry trees were in -bloom. For the first time in three -years I had been able to sit for an -evening among a company of persons -(invalids like myself seeking -strength), trying to entertain them -with some remembrances of bygone -days. I see it still, the broad parlor of -that grand old “Hillside Home,” the -mother and inspiration of all the hundreds -of sanitariums and health restoring -institutions of the country to-day. -I had made my home near it, at -the foot of the blossoming orchard.</p> - -<p class='c006'><span class='pageno' id='Page_10'>10</span>Down among the trees and twittering -robins next morning came one of -my listeners; a broad-shouldered, -manly looking man, the face so full of -benign intelligence that once seen was -never to be forgotten. He came in at -the open door, merrily shaking off the -cherry blossoms like large flakes of -early snow, an entire stranger to me -until the previous evening. He seated -himself and entered into conversation -with a familiar ease that bespoke the -cultured gentleman. After a few -minutes he turned earnestly to me -with: “Miss Barton, I have an errand -in coming to you. I have a request -to make.”</p> - -<p class='c006'>I said I hoped I should be able to -comply. He hesitated, as if thinking -how to commence, but at length said: -“I want you to recall and write the -<span class='pageno' id='Page_11'>11</span>first thing you remember—the first -event that made sufficient impression -upon you to be remembered.”</p> - -<p class='c006'>I waited in silence and he went on:</p> - -<p class='c006'>“And then I want you to write the -next, and then the next, and so on, -until you have written all—everything -connected with yourself and your life -that you can recall. I want it; we -want it; the world wants it, and again -I ask you to do it. Can you promise -me?”</p> - -<p class='c006'>His earnest manner demanded an -earnest reply. I could not promise to -do it, but would promise to consider it.</p> - -<p class='c009'>This was in the spring of 1876. I -have never forgotten the request -through all these thirty-one busy years, -and have carefully kept the promise -to consider it; and to-night take my -<span class='pageno' id='Page_12'>12</span>pencil to describe the first moment of -my life that I remember.</p> - -<p class='c006'>By the dates I must have been -nearly two and a half years old, for -I was born on Christmas day, and -now the lilacs were in bloom. It was -a rather newly built country house -where I had commenced my earthly -pilgrimage, and being the youngest by -a dozen or so years, of a family of two -brothers and two sisters, I naturally -lacked child playmates and was left -much to my own entertainment.</p> - -<p class='c006'>On this occasion I must have been -enjoying a ramble by myself in the -grass-green dooryard, with the broad -hand-hewn doorstep and the traditional -lilacs on either side. Suddenly -my resounding cries brought the -whole family to the door in alarm. -My wailing took the form of a complaint -<span class='pageno' id='Page_13'>13</span>expressed with my best linguistic -ability:</p> - -<p class='c006'>“Baby los’ ’im—pitty bird—baby -los’ ’im—baby mos’ caught him—pitty -bird—baby mos’ caught ’im.”</p> - -<p class='c006'>At length they succeeded in inducing -me to listen to a question, “But -where did it go, Baby?”</p> - -<p class='c006'>Among my heart-breaking sobs I -pointed to a small round hole under -the doorstep. The terrified scream of -my mother remained in my memory -forever more. Her baby had “mos’ -caught” a snake.</p> - -<p class='c006'>I recall nothing more for nearly -a year and a half, when my terrors -again took possession. An esteemed -and greatly beloved relative of the -family had died. The funeral services -were to be held four miles away. -All the household would attend excepting -<span class='pageno' id='Page_14'>14</span>myself and the younger of my -two brothers, David, some sixteen -years old, who was deputed to act as -body guard, doubtless under strict -orders.</p> - -<p class='c006'>I can picture the large family sitting -room with its four open windows, -which room I was not to leave, and -my guardian was to remain near me. -Some outside duty called him from -the house and I was left to my own -observations. A sudden thunder -shower came up; massive rifts of -clouds rolled up in the east, and the -lightning darted among them like -blazing fires. The thunder gave them -language and my terrified imagination -endowed them with life.</p> - -<p class='c006'>Among the animals of the farm was -a huge old ram, that doubtless upon -some occasion had taught me to respect -<span class='pageno' id='Page_15'>15</span>him, and of which I had a mortal -fear. My terrors transformed -those rising, rolling clouds into a -whole heaven full of angry rams, -marching down upon me. Again my -screams alarmed, and the poor brother, -conscience stricken that he had left -his charge, rushed breathless in, to find -me on the floor in hysterics, a condition -of things he had never seen; and -neither memory nor history relate how -either of us got out of it.</p> - -<p class='c006'>In these later years I have observed -that writers of sketches, in a friendly -desire to compliment me, have been -wont to dwell upon my courage, representing -me as personally devoid of -fear, not even knowing the feeling. -However correct that may have become, -it is evident I was not constructed -that way, as in the earlier -<span class='pageno' id='Page_16'>16</span>years of my life I remember nothing -but fear.</p> - -<p class='c006'>There can be no doubt that my advent -into the family was at least a -novelty, as the last before me was a -beautiful blue-eyed, curly-haired little -girl of a dozen summers. That the -event was probably looked for with -interest is shadowed in the fact of -preparations made for it. The still -existing few pieces in my possession -testify to the purchase of a full, complete -and withal rather aristocratic -dinner set of “Old Willow,” which -did faithful service many years; and -the remaining bits of dainty pink and -white, tell of the tea set to match, -in the cups of which were told the future -of many a merry party that -learned their reality through still later -years, not all pink and white.</p> - -<p class='c006'><span class='pageno' id='Page_17'>17</span>I became the seventh member of a -household consisting of the father and -mother, two sisters and two brothers, -each of whom for his and her intrinsic -merits and special characteristics deserves -an individual history, which it -shall be my conscientious duty to portray -as far as possible as these pages -progress. For the present it is enough -to say that each one manifested an increasing -personal interest in the newcomer, -and as soon as developments -permitted, set about instructing her in -the various directions most in accord -with the tastes and pursuits of each.</p> - -<p class='c006'>Of the two sisters, the elder was already -a teacher. The younger followed -soon, and naturally my book education -became their first care, and -under these conditions it is little to -say, that I have no knowledge of ever -<span class='pageno' id='Page_18'>18</span>learning to read, or of a time that I -did not do my own story reading. The -other studies followed very early.</p> - -<p class='c006'>My elder brother, Stephen, was a -noted mathematician. He inducted -me into the mystery of figures. -Multiplication, division, subtraction, -halves, quarters and wholes, soon -ceased to be a mystery, and no toy -equalled my little slate. But the -younger brother (he of the thunder -storm and hysterics) had entirely other -tastes, and would have none of these -things. My father was a lover of -horses, and one of the first in the vicinity -to introduce blooded stock. He -had large lands, for New England. He -raised his own colts; and Highlanders, -Virginians and Morgans pranced the -fields in idle contempt of the solid old -farm horses.</p> - -<p class='c006'><span class='pageno' id='Page_19'>19</span>Of my brother, David, to say that -he was fond of horses describes nothing; -one could almost add that he was -fond of nothing else. He was the -Buffalo Bill of the surrounding country, -and here commences his part of -my education. It was his delight to -take me, a little girl five years old, to -the field, seize a couple of those beautiful -young creatures, broken only to -the halter and bit, and gathering the -reins of both bridles firmly in hand, -throw me upon the back of one colt, -spring upon the other himself, and -catching me by one foot, and bidding -me “cling fast to the mane,” gallop -away over field and fen, in and out -among the other colts in wild glee like -ourselves. They were merry rides we -took. This was my riding school. I -never had any other, but it served me -<span class='pageno' id='Page_20'>20</span>well. To this day my seat on a saddle -or on the back of a horse is as secure -and tireless as in a rocking chair, -and far more pleasurable. Sometimes, -in later years, when I found -myself suddenly on a strange horse -in a trooper’s saddle, flying for life or -liberty in front of pursuit, I blessed -the baby lessons of the wild gallops -among the beautiful colts.</p> - -<p class='c009'>Various as were the topics of instruction -pursued by my youthful -teachers, my father had still others. -He was “Captain” Stephen Barton, -had served as a non-commissioned officer, -under General Wayne (Mad Anthony) -in the French and Indian Wars -on the then Western frontiers. His -soldier habits and tastes never left -him. Those were also strong political -<span class='pageno' id='Page_21'>21</span>days—Andrew Jackson days—and -very naturally my father became my -instructor in military and political lore. -I listened breathlessly to his war -stories. Illustrations were called for, -and we made battles and fought them. -Every shade of military etiquette was -regarded. Generals, colonels, captains -and sergeants were given their -proper place and rank. So with the -political world; the president, cabinet -and leading officers of the government -were learned by heart, and -nothing gratified the keen humor of -my father more than the parrot-like -readiness with which I lisped these -often difficult names, and the accuracy -with which I repeated them upon -request. My elder sister, with a -teacher’s intuition, mistrusting that -my ideas on these points might be -<span class='pageno' id='Page_22'>22</span>somewhat vague, confidentially drew -from me one day my impressions in -regard to the personages whose names -I handled so glibly, and to the amusement -of the family found that I had -no conception of their being men like -other men, but had invested them -with miraculous size and importance. -I thought the president might be as -large as the meeting house, and the -vice-president perhaps the size of the -school house. And yet I am not going -to say that even this instruction -had never any value for me. When -later, I, like all the rest of our country -people, was suddenly thrust into -the mysteries of war, and had to find -and take my place and part in it, I -found myself far less a stranger to -the conditions than most women, or -even ordinary men for that matter; -<span class='pageno' id='Page_23'>23</span>I never addressed a colonel as captain, -got my cavalry on foot, or -mounted my infantry.</p> - -<p class='c006'>My mother, like the sensible woman -that she was, seeming to conclude that -there were plenty of instructors without -her, attempted very little, but -rather regarded the whole thing as a -sort of mental conglomeration, and -looked on with a kind of amused curiosity -to see what they would make of -it. Indeed, I heard her remark many -years after, that I came out with a -more level head than she would have -thought possible.</p> - -<p class='c009'>My first individual ownership was -“Button.” In personality (if the term -be admissible), Button represented a -sprightly, medium-sized, very white -dog, with silky ears, sparkling black -<span class='pageno' id='Page_24'>24</span>eyes and a very short tail. His bark -spoke for itself. Button belonged to -me. No other claim was instituted, -or ever had been. It was said that -on my entrance into the family, Button -constituted himself my guardian. -He watched my first steps and tried -to pick me up when I fell down. One -was never seen without the other. He -proved an apt and obedient pupil, -obeying me precept upon precept, if -not line upon line. He stood on two -feet to ask for his food, and made a -bow on receiving it, walked on three -legs when very lame, and so on, after -the manner of his crude instruction; -went everywhere with me through the -day, waited patiently while I said my -prayers and continued his guard on the -foot of the bed at night. Button -shared my board as well as my bed. -<span class='pageno' id='Page_25'>25</span>This fact gave opportunity for an -amusing bit of sport for the family at -my expense, as was their wont.</p> - -<p class='c006'>One would, with considerable ado -(to lend importance to the occasion), -make me a present of some divisible -luxury, as cake or candies. This -called, on my part, for positive orders -to all to sit down and share my gift -with me, as I never partook of it -alone. A line or circle was formed, -comprising the entire family, Button -occupying the last seat. I then proceeded -to make a careful hand count -of each, including Button; then retired -and accurately divided my gift, -a piece for each, but not myself, as -I was not in the count. I then went -and gave a piece to every one. The -fun came in watching the silent wonderment -and resignation with which I -<span class='pageno' id='Page_26'>26</span>contemplated my own empty hands, a -condition of things I could not at all -comprehend, but made no complaint. -Of course, each in generous sympathy -offered to give back to me his or her -piece; but here came in my careful -mother’s protest and command, so seldom -heard. “No,” I must not be -taught to think I could give a thing -and still possess it, or its value. A -gift must be outright. I must do -earnestly all that I did. Each might -generously give me back a very small -piece, to make in all no more than -would have been my share, and I must -be made to understand that even this -was a favor and not a right. I then -went around and received my crumbs. -This all went well till I came to Button. -When I held out my hand for -his little charity, he had nothing for -<span class='pageno' id='Page_27'>27</span>me. I could never understand this -discourtesy of Button.</p> - -<p class='c006'>This was one of the many jokes reserved -for me as I grew older. But -far above and beyond it all, as the -years sped on, and the hands were -still, shone the gleam of the far-sighted -mother’s watchfulness that neither -toil could obscure, nor mirth relax.</p> - -<p class='c009'>My home instruction was by no -means permitted to stand in the way -of the “regular school,” which consisted -of two terms each year, of three -months each. The winter term included -not only the large boys and -girls, but in reality the young men -and young women of the neighborhood. -An exceptionally fine teacher -often drew the daily attendance of advanced -scholars for several miles. Our -<span class='pageno' id='Page_28'>28</span>district had this good fortune. I introduce -with pleasure and with reverence -the name of Richard Stone; a -firmly-set, handsome young man of -twenty-six or seven, of commanding -figure and presence, combining all the -elements of a teacher with a discipline -never questioned. His glance -of disapproval was a reprimand, his -frown something he never needed to -go beyond. The love and respect of -his pupils exceeded even their fear. It -was no uncommon thing for summer -teachers to come twenty miles to avail -themselves of the winter term of -“Col.” Stone, for he was a high militia -officer, and at that young age was -a settled man with a family of four -little children. He had married at -eighteen.</p> - -<p class='c006'>I am thus particular in my description -<span class='pageno' id='Page_29'>29</span>of him, both because of my childish -worship of him, and because I shall -have occasion to refer to him later. -The opening of his first term was a -signal for the Barton family, and -seated on the strong shoulders of my -stalwart brother Stephen, I was taken -a mile through the tall drifts to school. -I have often questioned if in this -movement there might not have been -a touch of mischievous curiosity on -the part of these not at all dull youngsters, -to see what my performance at -school might be.</p> - -<p class='c006'>I was, of course, the baby of the -school. I recall no introduction to -the teacher, but was set down among -the many pupils in the by no means -spacious room, with my spelling book -and the traditional slate, from which -nothing could separate me. I was -<span class='pageno' id='Page_30'>30</span>seated on one of the low benches and -sat very still. At length the majestic -schoolmaster seated himself, and taking -a primer, called the class of little -ones to him. He pointed the letters -to each. I named them all, and was -asked to spell some little words, “dog,” -“cat,” etc., whereupon I hesitatingly -informed him that I did “not spell -there.” “Where do you spell?” “I -spell in ‘Artichoke,’” that being the -leading word in the three syllable column -in my speller. He good naturedly -conformed to my suggestion, and -I was put into the “artichoke” class -to bear my part for the winter, and -read and “spell for the head.” When, -after a few weeks, my brother Stephen -was declared by the committee to be -too advanced for a common school, -and was placed in charge of an important -<span class='pageno' id='Page_31'>31</span>school himself, my unique -transportation devolved upon the -other brother, David.</p> - -<p class='c006'>No colts now, but solid wading -through the high New England drifts.</p> - -<p class='c006'>The Rev. Mr. Menseur of the -Episcopal church of Leicester, Mass., -if I recollect aright, wisely comprehending -the grievous inadaptability of -the school books of that time, had -compiled a small geography and atlas -suited to young children, known as -Menseur’s Geography. It was a novelty, -as well as a beneficence; nothing -of its kind having occurred to makers -of the school books of that day. -They seemed not to have recognized -the existence of a state of childhood -in the intellectual creation. During -the winter I had become the happy -possessor of a Menseur’s Geography -<span class='pageno' id='Page_32'>32</span>and Atlas. It is questionable if my -satisfaction was fully shared by others -of the household. I required a -great deal of assistance in the study -of my maps, and became so interested -that I could not sleep, and was not -willing that others should, but persisted -in waking my poor drowsy sister -in the cold winter mornings to sit -up in bed and by the light of a tallow -candle, help me to find mountains, rivers, -counties, oceans, lakes, islands, -isthmuses, channels, cities, towns and -capitals.</p> -<div class='figcenter id002'> -<img src='images/i_032.jpg' alt='' class='ig001' /> -<div class='ic002'> -<p>MY BIRTHPLACE.</p> -</div> -</div> - -<p class='c006'><span class='pageno' id='Page_33'>33</span>The next May the summer school -opened, taught by Miss Susan Torrey. -Again, I write the name reverently, -as gracing one of the most -perfect of personalities. I was not -alone in my childish admiration, -for her memory remained a living -reality in the town long years after -the gentle spirit fled. My sisters -were both teaching other schools, and -I must make my own way, which I -did, walking a mile with my one precious -little schoolmate, Nancy Fitts. -Nancy Fitts! The playmate of my -childhood; the “chum” of laughing -girlhood; the faithful trusted companion -of young womanhood, and the beloved -life friend that the relentless -grasp of time has neither changed, nor -taken from me.</p> - -<p class='c006'>On entering the wide open door of -the inviting schoolhouse, armed with -some most unsuitable reader, a -spelling book, geography, atlas and -slate, I was seized with an intense fear -at finding myself with no member of -the family near, and my trepidation -became so visible that the gentle teacher, -<span class='pageno' id='Page_34'>34</span>relieving me of my burden of -books, took me tenderly on her lap and -did her best to reassure and calm me. -At length I was given my seat, with a -desk in front for my atlas and slate, -my toes at least a foot from the floor, -and that became my daily, happy -home for the next three months.</p> - -<p class='c009'>I partially recall an event which occurred -when I was five years old; the -incidents which I could not have personally -remembered, must have been -supplied by later relations. It seems -that I was suddenly discovered to be -alarmingly ill. In response to the -terror of the moment, the saddle was -thrown on Black Stallion, the king of -the herd, his rough rider mounted and -away for the doctor, on “Oxford -Plain,” five miles away. “Not at -<span class='pageno' id='Page_35'>35</span>home—out on a professional drive.” -Followed to “Sutton Street,” six miles -further on. “Gone.” Back over “Hog -Hill” and across the town to the west. -At length overtaken and brought back -at a speed little less than that which -had called him, for the doctor was a -fearless driver. The thunder of the -flying hoofs and the speed of the rider -as they passed had alarmed the people. -All the town knew the horse -and the rider, and knew as well that -something bad had happened at Captain -Barton’s. Men dropped their -work, harnessed their own teams and -drove with all haste to see if, perchance, -it were anything in which they -could help. When the doctor arrived, -the yard and road were filled with -people, waiting his coming and diagnosis.</p> - -<p class='c006'><span class='pageno' id='Page_36'>36</span>Shortly the verbal bulletin went out: -“A sudden, unaccountable and probably -fatal attack of bloody dysentery -and convulsions.” There was no -more for the sympathetic neighbors -to do; they turned sadly away, and -with them went the report that Captain -and Mrs. Barton had lost their -little baby girl.</p> -<div class='figleft id003'> -<img src='images/i_037a.jpg' alt='' class='ig001' /> -<div class='ic002'> -<p>CAPTAIN STEPHEN BARTON, MY FATHER.</p> -</div> -</div> - -<div class='figright id003'> -<img src='images/i_037b.jpg' alt='' class='ig001' /> -<div class='ic002'> -<p>SALLY STONE BARTON, MY MOTHER.</p> -</div> -</div> - -<p class='c006'><span class='pageno' id='Page_37'>37</span>Of all this I have, naturally, no recollection—neither -do I know the lapse -of time till memory again got hold; -but her first grasp of the event was -this: I had occupied as a bed a great -cradle which had been made for some -grown invalid, and preserved in the -household. I was bolstered up in -this cradle, with a little low table at -the side on which was my first meal -of solid food. How I had previously -been nourished I do not know, but I -can see this meal as clearly as if it -had been yesterday. A piece of -brown bread crust, about two inches -square, rye and Indian, baked on the -oven bottom; a tiny wine glass, my -Christmas gift, full of home-made -blackberry cordial, and a wee bit of -my mother’s well cured old cheese. -There was no need to caution me to -eat slowly; knowing that I could have -no more, and in dread of coming to -the last morsel, I nibbled and sipped -and swallowed till I mercifully fell -asleep from exhaustion.</p> - -<p class='c006'>There are a good many men over -the country who would readily believe -that sometimes, at the end of a -long fast, food might have tasted very -good to me, as it did to them; but no -food through the longest fast, ever -had the relish of that brown bread -<span class='pageno' id='Page_38'>38</span>crust; and no royal table has ever -been so kingly as that where I presided -alone over my own feast.</p> - -<p class='c009'>Of the succeeding years, six, seven -and eight, I recall little of note beyond -my studies, excepting a propensity I -indulged for writing verses, many of -which were preserved to amuse, others -to tease me for many years. Colonel -Stone had closed his series of -common schools, and opened a special -institution on “Oxford Plain,” -known as the “Oxford High School.” -Its fame had spread for miles around, -and it was regarded as the <em>Ultima -Thule</em> for teachers, and in a manner -a stepping stone or opening door to -Harvard and Yale.</p> - -<p class='c006'>My brother Stephen had succeeded -Col. Stone in the winter terms of the -<span class='pageno' id='Page_39'>39</span>home school, and my sisters mainly -had charge of them in summer. Thus -six months of each year offered little -change, the others were long vacations -in which the out-of-doors played -by far the most prominent part. There -were garden and flower beds to be -made, choice pet animals to look after, -a few needy families with little -children to be thought of, and some -sewing to be attempted. These latter -were in accordance with my mother’s -recommendations. I recall no -season of dolls, and believe they were -never included in my curriculum.</p> - -<p class='c006'>Meantime, I fell heir to my mother’s -side saddle, a beautiful piece of -workmanship, and with some difficulty -learned to adjust myself to it, a rather -useless adjustment it seemed to me at -the time, which opinion I still entertain.</p> - -<p class='c006'><span class='pageno' id='Page_40'>40</span>These were years of change in the -family. My brothers had become of -age and were young men of strength, -character and enterprise. They had -“bought out” as the term went, the -two large farms of my father, and -commenced business in earnest for -themselves. My father had purchased -another farm of some three hundred -acres, a few miles nearer the center -of the town.</p> - -<p class='c006'>This was a place of note, having -been one of the points used for security -against the Indians by the old -Huguenot Settlers of Oxford, and -which has made the town historic. -Their main defense was on “Fort -Hill,” several miles to the east. I was -naturally greatly interested in the -changes, and doubtless gave them all -the time I could spare from my increasing -<span class='pageno' id='Page_41'>41</span>studies. I can recollect even -now that my life seemed very full for -a little girl of eight years.</p> - -<p class='c009'>During the preceding winter I began -to hear talk of my going away to -school, and it was decided that I be -sent to Col. Stone’s High school, to -board in his family and go home occasionally. -This arrangement, I -learned in later years, had a double -object. I was what is known as a -bashful child, timid in the presence of -other persons, a condition of things -found impossible to correct at home. -In the hope of overcoming this undesirable -<i><span lang="fr" xml:lang="fr">mauvais honte</span></i>, it was decided -to throw me among strangers.</p> - -<p class='c006'>How well I remember my advent. -My father took me in his carriage -with a little dressing case which I dignified -<span class='pageno' id='Page_42'>42</span>with the appellation of “trunk”—something -I had never owned. -It was April—cold and bare. The -house and school rooms adjoined, and -seemed enormously large. The -household was also large. The long -family table with the dignified preceptor, -my loved and feared teacher -at three years, at its head, seemed to -me something formidable. There -were probably one hundred and fifty -pupils daily in the ample school rooms, -of which I was perhaps the youngest, -except the colonel’s own children.</p> - -<p class='c006'>My studies were chosen with great -care. I remember among them, ancient -history with charts. The lessons -were learned to repeat by rote. I -found difficulty both in learning the -proper names and in pronouncing -them, as I had not quite outgrown my -<span class='pageno' id='Page_43'>43</span>lisp. One day I had studied very -hard on the Ancient Kings of Egypt, -and thought I had everything perfect, -and when the pupil above me failed -to give the name of a reigning king, -I answered very promptly that it was -“Potlomy.” The colonel checked -with a glance the rising laugh of the -older members of the class, and told -me, very gently, that the P was silent -in that word. I had, however, seen -it all, and was so overcome by mortification -for my mistake, and gratitude -for the kindness of my teacher, -that I burst into tears and was permitted -to leave the room.</p> - -<div class='figcenter id004'> -<img src='images/i_044.jpg' alt='' class='ig001' /> -<div class='ic002'> -<p>COLONEL RICHARD C. STONE, MY TEACHER AT THREE YEARS OF AGE.</p> -</div> -</div> - -<p class='c006'>I am not sure that I was really -homesick, but the days seemed very -long, especially Sundays. I was in -constant dread of doing something -wrong, and one Sunday afternoon I -<span class='pageno' id='Page_44'>44</span>was sure I had found my occasion. It -was early spring. The tender leaves -had put out and with them the buds -and half open blossoms of the little -cinnamon roses, an unfailing ornamentation -of a well kept New England -home of that day. The children -of the family had gathered in the -front yard, admiring the roses and -daring to pick each a little bouquet. -As I stood holding mine, the heavy -door at my back swung open, and -there was the colonel, in his long, -light dressing gown and slippers, direct -from his study. A kindly spoken -“come with me, Clara,” nearly took -my last breath. I followed his strides -through all the house, up the long -flights of stairs, through the halls of -the school rooms, silently wondering -what I had done more than the others. -<span class='pageno' id='Page_45'>45</span>I knew he was by no means -wont to spare his own children. I had -my handful of roses—so had they. -I knew it was very wrong to have -picked them, but why more wrong for -me than for the others? At length, -and it seemed to me an hour, we -reached the colonel’s study, and there, -advancing to meet us, was the Reverend -Mr. Chandler, the pastor of our -Universalist church, whom I knew -well. He greeted me very politely -and kindly, and handed the large, open -school reader which he held, to the -colonel, who put it into my hands, -placed me a little in front of them, and -pointing to a column of blank verse, -very gently directed me to read it. It -was an extract from Campbell’s -“Pleasures of Hope,” commencing, -“Unfading hope, when life’s last embers -<span class='pageno' id='Page_46'>46</span>burn.” I read it to the end, a page -or two. When finished, the good pastor -came quickly and relieved me of -the heavy book, and I wondered why -there were tears in his eyes. The colonel -drew me to him, gently stroked -my short cropped hair, went with me -down the long steps, and told me I -could “go back to the children and -play.” I went much more easy in -mind than I came, but it was years -before I comprehended anything -about it.</p> - -<p class='c006'>My studies gave me no trouble, but -I grew very tired, felt hungry all the -time but dared not eat, grew thin and -pale. The colonel noticed it, and -watching me at table found that I was -eating little or nothing, refusing -everything that was offered me. Mistrusting -that it was from timidity, he -<span class='pageno' id='Page_47'>47</span>had food laid on my plate, but I dared -not eat it, and finally at the end of -the term a consultation was held between -the colonel, my father and our -beloved family physician, Dr. Delano -Pierce, who lived within a few doors -of the school, and it was decided to -take me home until a little older, and -wiser, I could hope. My timid sensitiveness -must have given great annoyance -to my friends. If I ever -could have gotten entirely over it, it -would have given far less annoyance -and trouble to myself all through -life.</p> - -<p class='c006'>To this day, I would rather stand -behind the lines of artillery at Antietam, -or cross the pontoon bridge under -fire at Fredericksburg, than to -be expected to preside at a public -meeting.</p> - -<p class='c006'><span class='pageno' id='Page_48'>48</span>Referring to the breaking up of the -first home, and the removal of my -father and mother to the new one, it -might be well to state the reasons for -the change. A favorite nephew of -my father, Mr. Jeremiah Larned, had -died after a lingering illness, leaving -a widow and four children, from thirteen -to six years of age, on the fine -farm which had descended to him -from his father, Captain Jeremiah -Larned, one of the leading men of -the town. Unfortunately, during his -long illness the farm had become involved -to the extent of necessitating a -sale. This would result in depriving -the widow and her small children -of a home, and in order to prevent -this, and the disadvantages of a creditor’s -sale, it was decided that my -father and a brother-in-law of Mrs. -<span class='pageno' id='Page_49'>49</span>Larned, Captain Sylvester McIntire, -who had no children, purchase the -farm, and remove there, keeping the -widow and children with them.</p> - -<p class='c006'>The hill farms—for there were two—were -sold to my brothers, who, entering -into partnership, constituted the -well known firm of S. & D. Barton, -continuing mainly through their lives. -Thus I became the occupant of two -homes, my sisters remaining with my -brothers, none of whom were married.</p> - -<p class='c006'>The removal to the second home -was a great novelty to me. I became -observant of all changes made. One -of the first things found necessary on -entering a house of such ancient date, -was a rather extensive renovation, for -those days, of painting and papering. -The leading artisan in that line in the -<span class='pageno' id='Page_50'>50</span>town was Mr. Sylvanus Harris, a -courteous man of fine manners, good -scholarly acquirements, and who, for -nearly half a lifetime, filled the office -of town clerk. The records of -Oxford will bear his name and his -beautiful handwriting as long as its -records exist.</p> - -<p class='c006'>Mr. Harris was engaged to make -the necessary improvements. Painting -included more then than in these -later days of prepared material. The -painter brought his massive white -marble slab, ground his own paints, -mixed his colors, boiled his oil, calcined -his plaster, made his putty and -did scores of things that a painter of -to-day would not only never think of -doing, but would often scarcely know -how to do.</p> - -<p class='c006'>Coming from the newly built house -<span class='pageno' id='Page_51'>51</span>where I was born, I had seen nothing -of this kind done, and was intensely -interested. I must have persisted in -making myself very numerous, for I -was constantly reminded not to “get -in the gentleman’s way.” But I was -not to be set aside. My combined interest -and curiosity for once overcame -my timidity, and encouraged by -the mild, genial face of Mr. Harris, -I gathered the courage to walk up in -front and address him: “Will you -teach me to paint, sir?” “With pleasure, -little lady, if mama is willing, I -should very much like your assistance.” -The consent was forthcoming, -and so was a gown suited to my new -work, and I reported for duty. I -question if any ordinary apprentice -was ever more faithfully and intelligently -instructed in his first month’s -<span class='pageno' id='Page_52'>52</span>apprenticeship. I was taught how to -hold my brushes, to take care of them, -allowed to help grind my paints, -shown how to mix and blend them, -how to make putty and use it, to prepare -oils and dryings, and learned -from experience that boiling oil was -a great deal hotter than boiling water, -was taught to trim paper neatly, to -match and help to hang it, to make -the most approved paste, and even -varnished the kitchen chairs to the -entire satisfaction of my mother, -which was triumph enough for one -little girl. So interested was I, that -I never wearied of my work for a -day, and at the end of a month looked -on sadly as the utensils, brushes, buckets -and great marble slab were taken -away. There was not a room that I -had not helped to make better; there -<span class='pageno' id='Page_53'>53</span>were no longer mysteries in paint and -paper. I knew them all, and that -work would bring callouses even on -little hands.</p> - -<p class='c006'>When the work was finished and -everything gone, I went to my room, -lonesome in spite of myself. I found -on my candle stand a box containing -a pretty little locket, neatly inscribed, -“To a faithful worker.” No one -seemed to have any knowledge of it, -and I never gained any.</p> - -<p class='c009'>The new home presented a phase of -life quite unfamiliar to me. From -never having had any playmates, I now -found myself one of a very lively body -of six—three boys and three girls -nearer of an age than would have -been probable in the same family. My -father had taken charge of the young -<span class='pageno' id='Page_54'>54</span>son of a friend—Lovett Stimpson—a -fine, robust, intelligent lad of about -my age, who lived with us.</p> - -<p class='c006'>It would be difficult to describe -what this new life, for the time it continued, -became to me, or indeed I to -it. As I look back upon it I realize -that we were a group of good children -with honorable instincts, obedient -and kindly disposed. In later -years none of us could recall a serious -difference of any kind, no cruelty and -no broken faith. It took just six, and -no more, to keep a secret. But this portrayal -of characteristics gives no clue -to, indeed casts no shadow, of what -we were capable of accomplishing in -a day. The territorial domain comprised -something over three hundred -acres. We knew it all. From “Peakèd -Hill,” to “Jim Brown’s”—across the -<span class='pageno' id='Page_55'>55</span>“Flowed Swamp,” three miles, we -knew every rod of it. Old “Rocky -Hills,” so high, so steep, so thickly -wooded that a horse would never attempt -them, were no strangers. We -knew where the best chestnuts were. -We explored the “Devil’s Den,” in -spite of the tradition that it was an -abode for the tempters of Eve. The -“French River,” that later carried all -the factories of North Oxford, spread -itself out in lazy rest, after its rugged -leaps, as it meandered through the -broad, beautiful meadows and interval -land, the pride of the farm.</p> - -<p class='c006'>A long hewn log or pole stretched -across it in its narrowest, deepest -place. I would not dare to -say how long, but it could not have -been more than fourteen inches wide, -and swayed and teetered from the -<span class='pageno' id='Page_56'>56</span>moment the foot touched till it left it. -The waters glided still and black beneath. -It was there as a convenience -for the working men in crossing from -one field to another; but if ever a -week day passed that we did not cross -it several times, we knew one duty -had been neglected. The only sawmill -in that section of the town was -a part of my father’s possessions. The -great up-and-down saw cut its angry -way through the primeval forest -giants from morning till night, and -not unfrequently from night till -morning. The long saw-carriage -ran far out over the raceway at the -rear end. How were we to withstand -the temptation of riding out over the -rushing mill stream twenty feet below, -and then coming quickly in as the -sawn log was drawn back for another -<span class='pageno' id='Page_57'>57</span>cut? Hurt? Never one of us. Killed? -We knew not such a thing could be.</p> - -<p class='c006'>There were three temptingly great -barns, scattered between the house -premises and the interval. Was there -ever a better opportunity for hide-and-seek, -for climbing and jumping? It -would have been no athlete at all that -couldn’t jump from the great beams -to the hay, in scant summer time before -the new hay came in, and land -on the feet safely. There was, and -still is, directly in front of the house, -a small, circular, natural pond, fed by -springs in the bottom and surrounded -by a cordon of hills forming a basin -in which the little pond basks and -sleeps through the summer, but in -winter becomes a thing of beauty and -a joy forever to the skater. From its -sheltered position it freezes smooth, -<span class='pageno' id='Page_58'>58</span>even, and glare, and has no danger -spots. I dwell upon this description, -for that little pond was my early love; -the home of my beautiful flock of -graceful ducks. The boys were all -fine skaters; I wanted to skate, too, -but skating had not then become customary, -in fact, not even allowable for -girls; and when, one day, my father -saw me sitting on the ice attempting -to put on a pair of skates, he seemed -shocked, recommended me to the -house, and said something about “tomboys.” -But this did not cure my desire; -nor could I understand why it -was not as well for me to skate as for -the boys; I was as strong, could run -as fast and ride better, indeed they -would not have presumed to approach -me with a horse. Neither could the -boys understand it, and this misconception -<span class='pageno' id='Page_59'>59</span>led them into an error and me -into trouble.</p> - -<p class='c006'>One clear, cold, starlight Sunday -morning, I heard a low whistle under -my open chamber window. I realized -that the boys were out for a skate -and wanted to communicate with me. -On going to the window, they informed -me that they had an extra pair -of skates and if I could come out they -would put them on me and “learn” -me how to skate. It was Sunday -morning; no one would be up till late, -and the ice was so smooth and “glare.” -The stars were bright, the temptation -was too great. I was in my dress in -a moment and out. The skates were -fastened on firmly, one of the boy’s -wool neck “comforters” tied about my -waist, to be held by the boy in front. -The other two were to stand on either -<span class='pageno' id='Page_60'>60</span>side, and at a signal the cavalcade -started. Swifter and swifter we -went, until at length we reached a -spot where the ice had been cracked -and was full of sharp edges. These -threw me, and the speed with which -we were progressing, and the distance -before we could quite come to -a stop, gave terrific opportunity for -cuts and wounded knees. The opportunity -was not lost. There was more -blood flowing than any of us had ever -seen. Something must be done. -Now all of the wool neck comforters -came into requisition; my wounds -were bound up, and I was helped into -the house, with one knee of ordinary -respectable cuts and bruises; the other -frightful. Then the enormity of the -transaction and its attendant difficulties -began to present themselves, and -<span class='pageno' id='Page_61'>61</span>how to surround (for there was no -possibility of overcoming them), was -the question.</p> - -<p class='c006'>The most feasible way seemed to be -to say nothing about it, and we decided -to all keep silent; but how to -conceal the limp? I must have no -limp, but walk well. I managed -breakfast without notice. Dinner not -quite so well, and I had to acknowledge -that I had slipped down and hurt -my knee a little. This gave my limp -more latitude, but the next day it was -so decided, that I was held up and -searched. It happened that the best -knee was inspected; the stiff wool -comforter soaked off, and a suitable -dressing given it. This was a great -relief, as it afforded pretext for my -limp, no one observing that I limped -with the wrong knee.</p> - -<p class='c006'><span class='pageno' id='Page_62'>62</span>But the other knee was not a wound -to heal by first intention, especially under -its peculiar dressing, and finally -had to be revealed. The result was a -surgical dressing and my foot held up -in a chair for three weeks, during -which time I read the “Arabian -Nights” from end to end. As the -first dressing was finished, I heard the -surgeon say to my father: “that was -a hard case, Captain, but she stood it -like a soldier.” But when I saw how -genuinely they all pitied, and how tenderly -they nursed me, even walking -lightly about the house not to jar my -swollen and fevered limbs, in spite of -my disobedience and detestable deception -(and persevered in at that), my -Sabbath breaking and unbecoming -conduct, and all the trouble I had -caused, conscience revived, and my -<span class='pageno' id='Page_63'>63</span>mental suffering far exceeded my -physical. The Arabian Nights were -none too powerful a soporific to hold -me in reasonable bounds. I despised -myself and failed to sleep or eat.</p> - -<p class='c006'>My mother, perceiving my remorseful -condition, came to the rescue, -telling me soothingly, that she -did not think it the worst thing that -could have been done, that other little -girls had probably done as badly, and -strengthened her conclusions by telling -me how she once persisted in riding -a high mettled unbroken horse in -opposition to her father’s commands, -and was thrown. My supposition is -that she had been a worthy mother of -her equestrian son.</p> - -<p class='c006'>The lesson was not lost on any of -the group. It is very certain that -none of us, boys or girls, indulged in -<span class='pageno' id='Page_64'>64</span>further smart tricks. Twenty-five -years later, when on a visit to the old -home, long left, I saw my father, then -a grey-haired grandsire, out on the -same little pond, fitting the skates -carefully to the feet of his little -twin granddaughters, holding them -up to make their first start in safety, -I remembered my wounded knees, -and blessed the great Father that -progress and change were among the -possibilities of His people.</p> - -<p class='c006'>I never learned to skate. When it -became fashionable I had neither time -nor opportunity.</p> - -<p class='c009'>Along these lines I recall another -disappointment, which, though not vital, -was still indicative of the times. -During the following winter a dancing -school was opened in the hall of -<span class='pageno' id='Page_65'>65</span>the one hotel on Oxford Plain, some -three miles from us. It was taught -by a personal friend of my father, a -polished gentleman, resident of a -neighboring town, and teacher of English -schools. By some chance I got a -glimpse of the dancing school at the -opening, and was seized with a most -intense desire to go and learn to -dance. With my peculiar characteristics -it was necessary for me to want -a thing very much before mentioning -it; but this overcame me, especially -as the cordial teacher took tea -with us one evening before going -to his school, and spoke very interestingly -of his classes. I even -went so far as to beg permission -to go. The dance was in my very -feet. The violin haunted me. “Ladies -change” and “all hands round” -<span class='pageno' id='Page_66'>66</span>sounded in my ears and woke me from -my sleep at night.</p> - -<p class='c006'>The matter was taken up in family -council. I was thought to be -very young to be allowed to go to a -dancing school in a hotel. Dancing -at that time was at a very low ebb in -good New England society, and besides, -there was an active revival taking -place in both of the orthodox -churches (or rather one a church -and the other a society without a -church), and it might not be a wise, -nor even a courteous, thing to allow. -Not that our family, with its well -known liberal proclivities, could have -the slightest objection on that score; -still, like St. Paul, if meat were harmful -to their brethren they would not -eat it, and thus it was decided that -I could not go. The decision was -<span class='pageno' id='Page_67'>67</span>perfectly conscientious, kindness itself, -and probably wise; but I have -wondered if they could have known -(as they never did) how severe the -disappointment was, the tears it cost -me in my little bed in the dark, the -music and the master’s voice still -sounding in my ears, if this knowledge -would have weighed in the decision.</p> - -<p class='c006'>I have listened to a great deal of -music since then, interspersed with -very positive orders, and which generally -called for “all hands round” but -the dulcet notes of the violin and the -“ladies change” were missing. Neither -did I ever learn to dance.</p> - -<p class='c009'>From the peculiar gifts that were -wont to be made me in those days, I -am led to infer that my peculiarities -<span class='pageno' id='Page_68'>68</span>in the direction of the dumb animal -part of creation, were decidedly noticeable. -On one occasion an English -gentleman, a friend of the family, -and, like my father, a promoter of -fine stock, had been paying us a visit, -and upon returning to his home, near -Boston, sent to me a beautifully soft, -wool-wadded basket containing two -and a half dozens of fine, large duck’s -eggs. It was not difficult to find -among the numerous feathered inhabitants -of the barns, three domestically -inclined, motherly hens, willing to -take charge of the big tinted eggs, albeit -not their own, giving to them the -strictest attention. The result was, -that within four weeks, the shallow -end of the little pond was covered -with tiny balls of yellow down floating -calmly and majestically on the -<span class='pageno' id='Page_69'>69</span>water—darting rapidly this way and -that, for every fly or bug so unfortunate -as to appear, while the shore presented -the scene of three of the most -distracted mothers that imagination -can picture. There was nothing majestic -nor calm in their motions, and -the tones which called the recreant -broods were far from soothing; but -like the mothers of other wayward, -unnatural offspring, the lesson of submission -was theirs to learn; and -through resignation at length came -peace.</p> - -<p class='c006'>In the course of two or three years -my flock of ducks became so numerous -as to attract the attention of the -wild ducks, passing over from the -northern lakes to the southern bays, -and it was no uncommon thing for -an entire flock, wearied with a long -<span class='pageno' id='Page_70'>70</span>journey, to alight for a few days’ rest. -My tame ducks learned athletics from -these native divers and dippers, and -the scene became at times not only interesting, -but inspiring and instructive.</p> - -<p class='c006'>It is very evident to me, as I remember -it, that my aspirations were -by no means satisfied with an interest -in these small specimens, such as -ducks, hens, turkeys, geese, dogs, -cats, etc., of which I had no lack. This -not including canaries, of which I received -from time to time a number as -gifts; but I had no pleasure in them, -and although doubtless the most inhuman -thing that could have been -done, I invariably opened the cage -door and let them out.</p> - -<p class='c006'>But all that farm land, the three -great barns and accompanying yards, -<span class='pageno' id='Page_71'>71</span>called for cattle. A small herd of -twenty-five fine milch cows came -faithfully home each day with the -lowering of the sun, for the milking -and extra supper which they knew -awaited them. With the customary -greed of childhood I had laid claim to -three or four of the handsomest and -tamest of them, and believing myself -to be their real owner, I went -faithfully every evening to the yards -to receive and look after them. My -little milk pail went as well, and I -became proficient in an art never forgotten.</p> - -<p class='c006'>One afternoon, on going to the barn -as usual, I found no cows there; all -had been driven somewhere else. As -I stood in the corner of the great yard -alone, I saw three or four men—the -farm hands—with one stranger among -<span class='pageno' id='Page_72'>72</span>them wearing a long, loose shirt or -gown. They were all trying to get -a large red ox onto the barn floor, to -which he went very reluctantly. At -length they succeeded. One of the -men carried an axe, and stepping a -little to the side and back, raised it -high in the air and brought it down -with a terrible blow. The ox fell, I -fell too; and the next I knew I was -in the house on a bed, and all the -family about me, with the traditional -camphor bottle, bathing my head to -my great discomfort. As I regained -consciousness they asked me what -made me fall? I said “some one -struck me.” “Oh, no,” they said, “no -one struck you,” but I was not to be -convinced and proceeded to argue the -case with an impatient putting away -of the hurting hands, “then what -<span class='pageno' id='Page_73'>73</span>makes my head so sore?” Happy ignorance! -I had not then learned the -mystery of nerves.</p> - -<p class='c006'>I have, however, a very clear recollection -of the indignation of my father -(my mother had already expressed -herself on the subject), on his return -from town and hearing what had -taken place. The hired men were -lined up and arraigned for “cruel -carelessness.” They had “the consideration -to keep the cattle away,” he -said, “but allowed that little girl to -stand in full view.” Of course, each -protested he had not seen me. I was -altogether too friendly with the farm -hands to hear them blamed, especially -on my account, and came promptly to -their side, assuring my father that -they had not seen me, and that it was -“no matter,” I was “all well now.” -<span class='pageno' id='Page_74'>74</span>But, singularly, I lost all desire for -meat, if I had ever had it—and all -through life to the present, have only -eaten it when I must for the sake of -appearance, or as circumstances -seemed to make it the more proper -thing to do. The bountiful ground -has always yielded enough for all -my needs and wants.</p> - -<p class='c009'>I had been eleven years old the -Christmas before. Great changes -had taken place during the two or -three preceding years. My energetic -brothers had outgrown farming, sold -their two farms on the hill, and come -down and bought of my father all his -water power on the French River, as -well as all obtainable timber land in -the vicinity. The staunch old up-and-down -saw still stood in its majesty -<span class='pageno' id='Page_75'>75</span>for the handling of the forest giants -too massive for a lesser power, but it -was surrounded by a cordon of belted -“circulars,” whirling with a speed -that quite obscured their motion, -screaming, screeching and throwing -out the product of their work in all -directions; shingles, laths, thin boards, -bolters and slitters. New dams had -been thrown across the shifty, flighty -stream, to be swept away in the torrents -of the spring freshets and floating -ice, but replaced at once with -an obstinate manliness and enterprise -that scarcely admitted of an interruption -in the work.</p> - -<p class='c006'>In a new building along the side of -the dam, the great burr-stones of that -date ground out the wholesome grain -of all the surrounding country, and -where I had first seen it under the -<span class='pageno' id='Page_76'>76</span>control of the one lone sawyer, now -fifty of the strongest working men -that could be procured, and great -four-horse teams covered the once -quiet mill-yard. The entire line of -factories above had caught the inspiration, -and the French River villages -of North Oxford were models -of growth and activity.</p> - -<p class='c006'>One sister had married and settled -in her home near by, and a wife had -come into my eldest brother’s home. -Mrs. Larned, the widow to whose assistance -my father had gone in her -early desolation, had found her children -now so well grown as to make it -advisable to remove to one of the factory -villages, where she became a -popular boarding house keeper, and -her children operatives in the mill.</p> - -<p class='c006'>Thus, I was again left to myself. -<span class='pageno' id='Page_77'>77</span>The schools were not the best, but all -that could be done for me, in or out -of them, was done. I had been especially -well taught to sew and liked -it, but knitting was beyond me. I -could not be held to it, and it was -given up.</p> - -<p class='c006'>Through the confirmed invalidism -of my elder sister, Dorothea, I lost -her beautiful guidance, but the watchful -care of my younger sister, now -Mrs. Vassall, was truly pathetic. She -never lost sight of my welfare, and -her fine literary taste was a constant -inspiration.</p> - -<p class='c009'>While thus in the midst of my various -pursuits and vocations, an accidental -turn in my wheel of fortune -changed my entire course (for a time -at least) and how much bearing, if -<span class='pageno' id='Page_78'>78</span>any, it may have had on the future, -I have never been able to determine. -I have spoken of the younger of my -two brothers, of the firm of S. & -D. Barton, as a fine horseman. He -was more than that. In these days -he would have been an athlete. The -two men were but two years apart in -age, of fine disposition and excellent -physical strength, integrity and courage; -of fine disposition and equable -temper; yet neither of them men with -whom an opponent would carelessly -or tauntingly covet an encounter. The -younger, David, from his physical activity -and daring, was always selected -for any feat of danger to be performed.</p> - -<p class='c006'>These were days when even buildings -were “raised by hand.” All the -neighborhood was expected to participate -<span class='pageno' id='Page_79'>79</span>in a “raising.” Upon one occasion, -an uncommonly large barn, -with what was then still more uncommon, -a cellar beneath, was to be raised. -The rafters must be affixed to the ridgepole, -and David Barton was assigned -to this duty. While in its performance, -a timber on which he was standing, -having been weakened by an unobserved -knot, suddenly gave way, -and he fell directly to the first floor, -striking on his feet on another timber -near the bottom of the cellar. Without -falling he leaped to the ground, and -after a few breathless minutes declared -himself unhurt, but was not -permitted to return aloft. It was -spoken of as a “remarkable adventure,” -“a wonderful escape,” etc., and -for a few days all went well, with the -exception of a slight and quite unaccustomed -<span class='pageno' id='Page_80'>80</span>headache, which continued -to increase as the July weather progressed. -At length he showed symptoms -of fever; the family physician -was called, and here commenced a -system of medical treatment quite unknown -to our physicians of the present -day, other than as results of historical -research and milestones of -scientific advancement.</p> - -<p class='c006'>He was pronounced in a “settled -fever,” which must not be “broken -up,” and could only be held in check -by reducing the strength of the patient. -He had “too much blood,” -was “too vigorous,” “just the patient -for a fever to ‘go hard with,’” it was -said. Accordingly, the blood was -taken from time to time, as long as -it seemed safe to do so. The terrible -pain in the head continued and blisters -<span class='pageno' id='Page_81'>81</span>were applied to all possible places, -in the hope of withdrawing the pain. -Sleepless, restless, in agony both -physical and mental, his case grew -desperate. He had been my ideal -from earliest memory. I was distressed -beyond measure at his condition. -I had been his little protégée, -his companion, and in his nervous -wretchedness he clung to me. Thus, -from the first days and nights of illness, -I remained near his side. The -fever ran on and over all the traditional -turning points, seven, fourteen, -twenty-one days. I could not be taken -away from him except by compulsion, -and he was unhappy until my return. -I learned to take all directions for his -medicines from his physician (who -had eminent counsel) and to administer -them like a genuine nurse.</p> - -<p class='c006'><span class='pageno' id='Page_82'>82</span>My little hands became schooled to -the handling of the great, loathsome, -crawling leeches which were at first -so many snakes to me, and no fingers -could so painlessly dress the angry -blisters; and thus it came about, that -I was the accepted and acknowledged -nurse of a man almost too ill to recover.</p> - -<p class='c006'>Finally, as the summer passed, the -fever gave way, and for a wonder the -patient did not. No physician will -doubt that I had given him poison -enough to have killed him many times -over, if suitably administered with -that view. He will also understand -the condition in which the patient was -left. They had certainly succeeded in -reducing his strength.</p> - -<p class='c006'>Late in the autumn he stood on his -feet for the first time since July. Still -<span class='pageno' id='Page_83'>83</span>sleepless, nervous, cold, dyspeptic—a -mere wreck of his former self. None -were so disturbed over his condition -as his kind-hearted, and for those -days, skillful physicians, who had exhausted -their knowledge and poured -out their sympathy and care like water, -on the patient who, for his manliness -and bravery, they had come to -respect, and for his suffering learned -to love with a parent’s tenderness.</p> - -<p class='c006'>It now became a matter of time. -Councils of physicians for twenty -miles around sat in judgment on the -case. They could only recommend; -and more blisters, setons and various -methods of external irritation for the -withdrawal of internal pain followed, -from month to month and season to -season. All these were my preferred -care.</p> - -<p class='c006'><span class='pageno' id='Page_84'>84</span>I realize now how carefully and -apprehensively the whole family -watched the little nurse, but I had no -idea of it then. I thought my position -the most natural thing in the -world; I almost forgot that there was -an outside to the house.</p> - -<p class='c006'>This state of things continued with -little change—a trifling gain of -strength in my patient at times—for -two years, when, entirely unexpected, -the most tabooed and little known of -all medical treatments, restored him -to health. It is to be remembered at -that date there was no homeopathy, -no hydropathy, no sanitariums, no -Christian Science, nothing but the -regular school of allopathic medicine. -Medical practitioners, baffled by lack -of science, surrounded by ignorance -on all such subjects and more or less -<span class='pageno' id='Page_85'>85</span>of superstition, struggled manfully on -toward the blessed light of the scientific -knowledge of to-day, which they -have so richly attained.</p> - -<p class='c006'>It was not to be wondered at that -the slightest departure from the beaten -track, under these conditions, was -held as unpardonable and punishable -quackery; and that the first “ism” that -broke through the defense fought the -fight of a forlorn hope. There are -young physicians of good historical -knowledge to-day, who have never -learned that “Thompsonianism” was -that “ism”; that Dr. Samuel Thompson -fought that fight, and that they are -pursuing many excellent methods -which are the result of his thought; -that it was he who first advanced the -theory (in this country at least,) that -fever was not the foe, but the friend -<span class='pageno' id='Page_86'>86</span>of the patient; that it was simply unequal -animal warmth and vigor—that -people did not have too much blood -any more than they had too much -bone, and could as ill afford to lose -it; that if the blood were too thick, -or too thin, or of a bad quality, taking -away a portion of it would not -rectify or purify the remainder. That -a blister was not likely to soothe a -nervous patient to sleep, or to extract -a pain, save by creating a greater. But -that a better way to treat disturbances -was to open the pores generally, by a -vapor bath—designated “Thompson’s -Steam Box,” and greatly to be feared. -He and his few followers were -known as “Steam Doctors”—and the -public warned against them.</p> - -<p class='c006'>It happened that one of his disciples, -a “Steam Doctor,” residing in a -<span class='pageno' id='Page_87'>87</span>neighboring town (I will write his -name in grateful remembrance—Dr. -Asa McCullum), had watched this remarkable -case with interest and pity, -convinced that the right remedies had -not reached it.</p> - -<p class='c006'>He ventured at length to approach -my father on the subject; then my -brother, who was willing to attempt -anything short of suicide. The result -was the removal of the patient to the -home asylum of the doctor for treatment. -In three weeks he was so far -restored as to return home and take -his place in his business, like one come -back from the dead. I remember the -greetings—the tears of gladness on -the blessed face of our family physician -when he came to welcome him -home: “And so, David, something -good has come out of Nazareth.”</p> - -<p class='c006'><span class='pageno' id='Page_88'>88</span>I was again free; my occupation -gone. Life seemed very strange and -idle to me. I wondered that my -father took me to ride so much, and -that my mother hoped she could make -me some new clothes now, for in the -two years I had not grown an inch, -had been to school one-half day, and -had gained one pound in weight.</p> - -<p class='c006'>This singular mode of life, at so -young an age, could not have been -without its characteristic effects. In -some respects it had served to heighten -serious defects. The seclusion had -increased the troublesome bashfulness. -I had grown even more timid, shrinking -and sensitive in the presence of -others; absurdly careful and methodical -for a child; afraid of giving -trouble by letting my wants be known, -thereby giving the very pain I sought -<span class='pageno' id='Page_89'>89</span>to avoid, and instead of feeling that -my freedom gave me time for recreation -or play, it seemed to me like time -wasted, and I looked anxiously about -for some useful occupation.</p> - -<p class='c006'>As usual, my blessed sister, Mrs. -Vassall, came to the rescue. Taking -advantage of an all-absorbing love of -poetry (which I always had) she made -a weapon of it by providing me with -the poetical works of Walter Scott, -which I had not read, and proposed -that we read them together. We naturally -commenced with “The Lady of -the Lake.” I was immediately transported -to the Highlands and the -Bonny Braes, plucking the heather -and broom and guiding the skiff -across Loch Katrine, listening to the -sweet warning song of poor crazed -Blanche of Devon, thrilling with, -<span class='pageno' id='Page_90'>90</span>“Saxon, I am Roderick Dhu,” and -trudging along with the old minstrel -and Ellen to Sterling tower and the -Court of Fitz-James. “Marmion” followed, -and then all the train of English -poetry that a child could take in.</p> - -<p class='c009'>My second individual ownership -was “Billy.” His personality (which I -never questioned), was represented by -a high stepping brown Morgan horse, -with glossy coat, slim legs, pointed -ears, long curly black mane and tail, -and weighing nearly nine hundred -pounds.</p> - -<p class='c006'>Although a good driver, his forte -was the saddle. His gait (or rather, I -should say, gaits) was first a delightful -single-foot; but which he had the -faculty of changing to a rack, or pace -or trot, as occasion or haste seemed -<span class='pageno' id='Page_91'>91</span>to call for; and as a last resort, he -could cover them all by something one -does not like to name; but we only -used that gait on extraordinary occasions. -My father had purchased and -given Billy to me when about ten -years old. The same figures will do -for us both.</p> - -<p class='c006'>I had three or four neighboring girl -associates who also had their own or -family horses, and our riding parties -were the events of the season. Anticipating -the deep, forbidding snows -of the winter in New England, we -had the custom of celebrating -Thanksgiving day by a final party -for the season. Even this was -cold and had often some traces -of snow.</p> - -<p class='c006'>On the present occasion there were -but three of us, Martha, Eveline and -<span class='pageno' id='Page_92'>92</span>myself. Martha had a fine sorrel -trotter, Eveline a spirited single-footer. -The day was cold and threatening. -Our ride was to Worcester, -some ten miles. When about three -miles from home, on our return, a -blinding snowstorm set in, literally -a gale. This either frightened or excited -Eveline’s horse, which, mastering -the situation by a quick toss of the -head, and catch of the bit (a trick he -evidently understood), dropped his -single-foot as something adapted to -ladies and little girls, and fell to using -all the feet he had, the best he -knew. Awed by her peril, but powerless -to aid, we could only follow our -fleeing comrade to be ready to help -when she should fall, as we were sure -she must. The gale mercilessly increased; -so did our speed. We kept -<span class='pageno' id='Page_93'>93</span>nearly alongside, every horse upon -the “dead run.”</p> - -<p class='c006'>We must have presented a striking -miniature picture of the veritable -“Three Furies” on a rampage. A -country road and no one passing. -Martha and myself each rushing directly -past our own homes unobserved -in the storm, till at length we rounded -the curve that brought the flying horse -in sight of his own stable. They had -sighted the coming cavalcade. The -gates were thrown wide open, and a -man stationed on either side to catch -both horse and rider when they should -enter.</p> - -<p class='c006'>Seeing the worn-out girl once safely -in her father’s arms, we turned away, -with an entirely new chapter added to -our very limited stock of equestrian -knowledge. We were all alive and -<span class='pageno' id='Page_94'>94</span>unharmed, and I alone am here now to -tell the little stories of childhood’s terrifying -dangers and miraculous escapes.</p> - -<p class='c009'>We were midway between the two -district schools, a long mile and a half -from either, and it frequently chanced -that a season or two of indifferent -schools followed each other in train. -The experiment of sending me away -to school was not to be repeated, and -accordingly I was undertaken at -home. My mathematical brother, Stephen, -took charge of that department, -and Mrs. Vassall the other needful -studies, while my former patient, -brother David, the equestrian of early -days, now grown strong and well, -kept to his rule of practical teaching. -I recall vividly the half impatient -<span class='pageno' id='Page_95'>95</span>frown on his fine face when he would -see me do an awkward thing, however -trivial. He detested false motions; -wanted the thing done rightly the -first time. If I started to go somewhere, -go, and not turn back; if to -do something, do it. I must throw a -ball or a stone with an under swing -like a boy and not a girl, and must -make it go where I sent it, and not -fall at my feet and foolishly laugh at -it. If I would drive a nail, strike it -fairly on the head every time, and not -split the board. If I would draw a -screw, turn it right the first time. I -must tie a square knot that would hold, -and not tie my horse with a slip noose -and leave him to choke himself. These -were little things, still a part of the -instructions not to be undervalued. In -the rather practical life which has -<span class='pageno' id='Page_96'>96</span>sometimes fallen to me, I have wondered -if they were not among the most -useful, and if that handsome frown -were not one of my best lessons.</p> - -<p class='c006'>At length there came a school that -could be utilized, and my family instructors -were relieved. The school -to the north of us was undertaken by -Mr. Lucian Burleigh, a younger member -of the noted Burleigh family, and -brother of William H. Burleigh, the -poet. It seemed very strange to me -to be in school again. I had been so -long accustomed to govern myself, in -a manner, that I wondered how any -one should need others to govern -them. If scholars came there to -learn, why should they try, or want, -to do anything else? There is no -doubt that I seemed equally unaccountable -and prudish to them.</p> -<div class='figcenter id004'> -<img src='images/i_096.jpg' alt='' class='ig001' /> -<div class='ic002'> -<p>MR. JONATHAN DANA,<br /><br />MY OXFORD TEACHER.</p> -</div> -</div> - -<p class='c006'><span class='pageno' id='Page_97'>97</span>The quick perceptions of the teacher -at once comprehended the conditions, -and he treated me with the -greatest consideration and kindness; -advising such changes and additions -as seemed suitable, and most in accord -with the studies I had taken with -me; even, as I could later see, forming -some new classes in branches outside -of the customary routine of the public -school; as elementary astronomy, -ancient history, and the “Science of -Language”; his own literary and -scholarly tastes pointing significantly -to the latter. If Milton’s “Paradise -Lost,” and Pollok’s “Course of Time” -were ever dissected, transposed, analyzed -and “parsed” by any class of -vigilant youths, it was then and there.</p> - -<p class='c006'>The winter passed all too soon. A -mile and a half through the snow had -<span class='pageno' id='Page_98'>98</span>been only a pleasure. Our faithful, -brotherly teacher left us, never to return; -but the still brotherly friendship -between teacher and pupil remained -unbroken until his summons came.</p> - -<p class='c006'>After a busy summer a similarly -good fortune awaited me in the next -winter term of school. Mr. Jonathan -Dana, one of Oxford’s most scholarly -men and a teacher of note, commenced -the winter school to the south -of us. I have no words to describe -the value of his instruction, nor the -pains he took with his eager pupil. I -had been far too thoroughly drilled -to require time for the customary -classes of the public school, but did -require instruction in branches forbidden -in their lawful curriculum.</p> - -<p class='c006'>In spite of the labor of a school of -sixty pupils of all ages, with no assistant, -<span class='pageno' id='Page_99'>99</span>I was permitted to take philosophy, -chemistry and elementary -Latin—all to be taught outside of -school hours. With no laboratory at -hand, I have often marveled at the -amount of experimental instruction -he found it possible to give me. So -generally appreciated was the excellence -of the school that the term was -continued beyond the customary three -months. My grateful homage for my -inestimable teacher and his interest in -his early pupil, became memories of a -lifetime, and the social acquaintance -was never interrupted until the late -summons came to him, white haired -and venerable, to go up higher.</p> - -<p class='c006'>My family were all gratified by my -progress and my deportment as a -student, but I was still diffident, timid, -non-committal, afraid of giving -<span class='pageno' id='Page_100'>100</span>trouble and difficult to understand. -My physical growth had not met -their expectations nor their hopes. I -grew slowly and was still a “little -girl” in appearance. This went to -show how positive the early check -had been, and how slowly the repairs -were made, for it was said that I -gained an inch in height between the -ages of twenty and twenty-one.</p> - -<p class='c009'>The firm of my brothers, S. & D. -Barton, had added to their ever increasing -business the manufacture of -cloth. A factory had been erected -and a partnership entered into with -Messrs. Paul and Samuel Parsons, -two elegant gentlemen among the -earlier manufacturers of satinet in -this country, and the new factory was -known as “The Satinet Mill of North -<span class='pageno' id='Page_101'>101</span>Oxford.” A very superior article of -cloth was made, the operatives almost -entirely American, and very largely -from families of the neighborhood or -surrounding country. Occupations -for women were few in those days, -and often the school and music teacher, -weary of the monotonous life, -sought change in the more remunerative -loom of the factory. I name this -as a matter of history, as the North -Oxford Mills were the third, if not -the second after Slater, who produced -the first spindle and power looms in -America, at the risk of his life.</p> - -<p class='c006'>I had been taken through the new -factory by my brother; had seen these -young persons at work; watched the -shuttles fly under the deft fingers of -the weavers, and felt that there was -something I could do. There was no -<span class='pageno' id='Page_102'>102</span>school, I was idle. After a little -quiet reflection I astonished the family -by announcing my desire to go -into the mill. I wanted to weave -cloth. At first they tried laughing at -me. I was too sensitive to be dealt -with in that way. Then reasoning. -I was “too small”; it was not a proper -thing for me to do. But I was not -easily dissuaded. One day in the -midst of a family council, my brother -Stephen chanced to call. He listened -attentively, saw that I was anxious -and troubled, and was giving trouble -to others as well. At length he spoke. -Addressing my mother, he said: “I -do not see anything so very much out -of the way in the request. I wonder if -we are not drawing the lines too -tightly on our little sister? A few -years ago she wanted to learn to -<span class='pageno' id='Page_103'>103</span>dance; this was denied as frivolous -and improper; now she asks to work. -She took up a work by herself and -did it two years, a work that no child -would be expected to do, and did it -well. She is certainly a properly behaved -little girl, and I cannot understand -why we should trouble ourselves -or her so much concerning the -proprieties of her life. For my part, -I am very willing to arrange a pair -of looms for her and let her try.” A -hush fell on the group. My anxious -mother seemed relieved. The big -brother had spoken. I crept shyly up -under his stalwart arm and kissed his -bearded cheek.</p> - -<p class='c006'>The next day a low platform was -run along in front of a pair of new, -glossy looms, just by the desk of the -overseer of the room. A good weaver -<span class='pageno' id='Page_104'>104</span>was given charge to instruct me, and -when I stepped upon that platform -and looked down upon the evenly -drawn warp and the swiftly flying -shuttles, and felt that they were mine, -I imagine the sensation was akin to -that of a young queen whose foot first -presses the throne. I was too carefully -watched to permit a mistake, -and too interested to be tired. Before -the end of the week I was able to discharge -my instructress, or it is more -probable she discharged herself in -view of my self-sufficiency. I could -scarcely wait in the morning for the -bell to call me, early as it would be, -and I walked up that long, outside -flight of black, greasy stairs and entered -that whirring, clashing room -with as much pride and satisfaction -as I would have entered the finest and -<span class='pageno' id='Page_105'>105</span>most highly embellished schoolroom. -I observed that the help all looked -at me as I went in, and McDonald, the -overseer, always raised his Scotch cap -a bit by the tassel, or touched his finger -to the rim, fitting so closely to -his high forehead. I thought I ought -to make some acknowledgement of -this, and always did so, but could not -understand it. I told my mother -about it and asked her what he did -it for? She said that it was probably -because I was “so little.” That perhaps -if I were as large as the other -girls he might not do it. I thought -this a reasonable solution and was satisfied.</p> - -<p class='c006'>I finished my first week, commenced -my second, and went through with no -assistance. On Saturday my webs -were cut from the looms, examined -<span class='pageno' id='Page_106'>106</span>and pronounced of first quality, showing -great care. I took my proud record -home. The next day (Sunday), -Mr. Samuel Parsons, with the prudent -care that could not trust even the -watchman too implicitly, went into the -mill by himself, ascending to the -picker room in the top story, where -the light, oiled wool was piled in -great quantities. He casually placed -his hand upon it in passing, and observing -that it felt warm, he plunged -his arm in to lift it. The flames enveloped -him. He ran at full speed -the length of the building to the bell -rope. The fire was there almost before -him. He gave two strokes, when -the flames drove him from the room; -they licked down the air shafts and -belt holes, lapping up the oil like so -much food, as it was.</p> - -<p class='c006'><span class='pageno' id='Page_107'>107</span>The perfection of the magnificent -fire departments of the present day -was far in the future then. In three -hours it was all over, and the new -North Oxford Satinet Mills were a -smoking pile of rubbish, a thing of -the past. No heart was heavier than -mine. The strong, energetic brothers -knew that rebuilding would commence -at once, but I mourned without hope.</p> - -<p class='c006'>If ever there were lost or omitted -a well-turned joke or a bit of humor -by the various members of the Barton -family it was clearly an accident, -no such omission being ever intended; -and thus it was suggested to me, that, -as the fire was manifestly a case of -spontaneous combustion, could it have -been that I worked so fast that the -friction set the mill on fire? That -joke on me lasted many years. The -<span class='pageno' id='Page_108'>108</span>mill was rebuilt, as well as several -others, some to be burned, some to be -sold; but I had found other occupations -more congenial to the other -members of the household, it is to be -hoped, if not to me.</p> - -<p class='c006'>The recital of this incident by myself, -or some one else, has given rise -to the bit of romance cropping out occasionally, -in the sketches one sees, -that I was a factory girl and earned -the money to pay off the mortgage on -my father’s farm. I wish the first -statement might have been true. Nothing -to-day would gratify me more -than to know that I had been one of -those self-reliant, intelligent, American-born -girls like our sweet poetess, -Lucy Larcom, and like her had stood -before the power looms in the early -progress of the manufactories of our -<span class='pageno' id='Page_109'>109</span>great and matchless country. I fear -that my plain, simple facts will rob -many a fancy sketch of its brightest -tints, as in this instance. I am compelled -to confess in regard to the second -statement, that my father never -had a mortgage that I knew of, and, -therefore, had no need of my brave -help. On the other hand, he had -something to give to me.</p> - -<p class='c009'>I think it usually occurs in small -communities that there is one family, -or one house, to which all strangers -or new comers naturally gravitate. -Nothing was plainer than that ours -was that house. All lecturers, upon -any subject, clergymen on trial, whoever -had a new idea to expound and -was in need of an abiding place meanwhile, -found one there. My father’s -<span class='pageno' id='Page_110'>110</span>active and liberal mind inclined him -to examination and toleration, and his -cordial hospitality was seconded by -my mother’s welcome to any one who -could bring new thought or culture to -herself or her family.</p> - -<p class='c006'>These were the very earliest days of -phrenology. The famous brothers, -O. S. and L. N. Fowler, worthy disciples -of Spurzheim and Coombe, -were commencing their lifelong -work. Young men of advanced ideas, -thought, energy and purpose.</p> - -<p class='c006'>The “Phrenological Journal,” if -existing at all, was in its infancy. The -Fowler brothers were among the -most interesting and popular lecturers -in the country. Two courses of -lectures by L. N. Fowler were arranged -for our town; one for North -and the other for South Oxford, or -<span class='pageno' id='Page_111'>111</span>“Oxford Plain,” as it is better known. -He very naturally became the guest -of my father and mother.</p> - -<p class='c006'>These two courses of lectures covered -nearly a month of time. How -can the value of the results of that -month, extending through a lifetime, -be put into words? How measure the -worth of the ideas, the knowledge of -one’s self, and of others, growing out -of it? Aside from this was his aid -and comfort to my mother in her perplexity -concerning her incomprehensible -child. I recall the long, earnest -talks, in which it was evident that I -was the prime subject, although not -clearly realizing it at the time. Upon -one occasion there was no question. -I was ill (of mumps, I believe) and to -avoid loneliness was permitted to lie -on the lounge in the large sitting room -<span class='pageno' id='Page_112'>112</span>through the day. Forgetting my -presence, or believing me asleep, the -conversation went on in my hearing, -portions of which at this late day I -recall. My mother remarked that -none of her children had ever been so -difficult to manage. “Was I disobedient, -exacting or wayward?” asked -Mr. Fowler. Oh no! she often -wished I were, she would then know -what to do, for I would make my -wants known, and they could be supplied. -But I was so timid and afraid -of making trouble that they were in -constant fear of neglecting me; I -would do without the most needed article -rather than ask for it, and my -bashfulness increased rather than diminished -as I grew older. As an illustration, -she stated that only last Sunday -the child appeared with bare -<span class='pageno' id='Page_113'>113</span>hands when we were ready for church. -Upon being asked where were her -gloves, she reluctantly replied that she -“had none. They were worn out.” -Upon being asked why she had not -said so and asked for others, the reply -was a burst of tears and an attempt to -leave the room. “We would not permit -this unhappy day at home alone, -and took her as she was,” said my -mother. All this sounded very badly -to me as I heard it rehearsed. It was -all true, all wrong; would I, could I -ever learn to do better?</p> - -<p class='c006'>Mr. Fowler replied that these characteristics -were all indicated; that, -however much her friends might suffer -from them, she would always suffer -more. “They may be apparently -outgrown, but the sensitive nature -will always remain. She will never -<span class='pageno' id='Page_114'>114</span>assert herself for herself—she will suffer -wrong first—but for others she -will be perfectly fearless.” To my -mother’s anxious question, “what shall -I do?” he replied, “Throw responsibility -upon her. She has all the qualities -of a teacher. As soon as her age -will permit, give her a school to -teach.” I well remember how this -suggestion shocked me. I should not -have remembered all these advices, -but years after they were found with -much more among my mother’s carefully -preserved papers; some correspondence -must have followed. The -depth and faithfulness of the interest -felt, was shown in the fact that the -great reader of human character, -through his long life in foreign lands -as well as his own, never forgot the -troublesome child. Occasional correspondence -<span class='pageno' id='Page_115'>115</span>and valued meetings -across the sea marked the milestones -of life, till one road came to an end. -A great and true man and friend of -humanity had gone, and the world -was better for his having lived in it.</p> - -<p class='c006'>At the close of the second term of -school, the advice was acted upon, and -it was arranged that I teach the -school in District No. 9. My sister -resided within the district. How well -I remember the preparations—the efforts -to look larger and older, the examination -by the learned committee -of one clergyman, one lawyer and one -justice of the peace; the certificate -with “excellent” added at the close; -the bright May morning over the -dewy, grassy road to the schoolhouse, -neither large nor new, and not a pupil -in sight.</p> - -<p class='c006'><span class='pageno' id='Page_116'>116</span>On entering, I found my little -school of forty pupils all seated according -to their own selection, quietly -waiting with folded hands. Bright, -rosy-cheeked boys and girls from four -to thirteen, with the exception of four -lads, as tall and nearly as old as myself. -These four boys naturally looked -a little curiously at me, as if forming -an opinion of how best to dispose of -me, as rumor had it that on the preceding -summer, not being <i><span lang="fr" xml:lang="fr">en rapport</span></i> -with the young lady teacher, they had -excluded her from the building and -taken possession themselves. All -arose as I entered, and remained -standing until requested to sit. Never -having observed how schools were -opened, I was compelled, as one -would say, to “blaze my own way.” -I was too timid to address them, but -<span class='pageno' id='Page_117'>117</span>holding my Bible, I said they might -take their Testaments and turn to the -Sermon on the Mount. All who -could read, read a verse each, I reading -with them in turn. This opened -the way for remarks upon the meaning -of what they had read. I found -them more ready to express themselves -than I had expected, which was -helpful to me as well. I asked them -what they supposed the Saviour meant -by saying that they must love their -enemies and do good to them that -hated and misused them? This was a -hard question, and they hesitated, until -at length a little bright-eyed girl -with great earnestness replied: “I -think He meant that you must be good -to everybody, and mustn’t quarrel nor -make nobody feel bad, and I’m going -to try.” An ominous smile crept -<span class='pageno' id='Page_118'>118</span>over the rather hard faces of my four -lads, but my response was so prompt, -and my approval so hearty, that it disappeared -and they listened attentively -but ventured no remarks. With this -moderate beginning the day progressed, -and night found us social, -friendly and classed for a school. -Country schools did not admit of -home dinners. I also remained. On -the second or third day an accident -on their outside field of rough play -called me to them. They had been -playing unfairly and dangerously and -needed teaching, even to play well. I -must have thought they required object -lessons, for almost imperceptibly -either to them or to myself, I joined -in the game and was playing with -them.</p> - -<p class='c006'>My four lads soon perceived that I -<span class='pageno' id='Page_119'>119</span>was no stranger to their sports or -their tricks; that my early education -had not been neglected, and that they -were not the first boys I had seen. -When they found that I was as agile -and as strong as themselves, that my -throw was as sure and as straight as -theirs, and that if they won a game -it was because I permitted it, their -respect knew no bounds. No courtesy -within their knowledge was neglected. -Their example was sufficient -for the entire school. I have seen no -finer type of boys. They were faithful -to me in their boyhood, and in -their manhood faithful to their country. -Their blood crimsoned its hardest -fields, and the little bright-eyed -girl with the good resolve, has made -her whole life a blessing to others, -and still lives to follow the teaching -<span class='pageno' id='Page_120'>120</span>given her. Little Emily has “made -nobody feel bad.”</p> - -<p class='c006'>My school was continued beyond -the customary length of time, -and its only hard feature was our -parting. In memory I see that pitiful -group of children sobbing their way -down the hill after the last good-bye -was said, and I was little better. We -had all been children together, and -when, in accordance with the then custom -at town meetings, the grades of -the schools were named and No. 9 -stood first for discipline, I thought it -the greatest injustice, and remonstrated, -affirming that there had been -no discipline, that not one scholar had -ever been disciplined. Child that I -was, I did not know that the surest -test of discipline is its absence.</p> - -<p class='c006'>If the published school report, so -<span class='pageno' id='Page_121'>121</span>misunderstood by me, had given me -displeasure, it had also given me a -local reputation, quite as unexpected. -I soon found myself the recipient of -numerous invitations to teach in the -nearby towns, especially such schools -as required the “discipline” so largely -accredited to, and so little deserved, -by me.</p> - -<p class='c006'>Declination, on my part, was not -to be thought of. All members of the -family were only too grateful for the -progress I had made towards proper -self-assurance to permit any backsliding, -and it was early settled that I -accept the application of the honorable -committee, to teach the next summer -school at what was known as the -“Mill-ward” in the adjoining town of -Charlton, commencing on the first -Monday in May of the following year—a -<span class='pageno' id='Page_122'>122</span>“master” teaching the winter -term.</p> - -<p class='c009'>One day, early in September, my -brother David, now one of the active, -popular business men of the town, -nearly took my breath away by inviting -me to accompany him on a journey -to the state of Maine, to be present -at his wedding and with him -bring back the wife who was to grace -his home and share his future life.</p> - -<p class='c006'>There was now more lengthening of -skirts, and a rush of dressmaking such -as I had never known before; and -when, two weeks later, I found myself -with my brother and a rather gay -party of ladies and gentlemen, friends -of his, at one of the most elegant hotels -in Boston (where I had never -been) waiting the arrival of a delayed -<span class='pageno' id='Page_123'>123</span>steamer, I was so overcome by -the dread of committing some impropriety -or indiscretion which might -embarrass my brother that I begged -him to permit me to go back home. -I was not distressed about what might -be thought of <em>me</em>. I did not seem to -care much about that; but how it -might reflect upon my brother, and -the mortification that my awkwardness -could not fail to inflict on him.</p> - -<p class='c006'>I had never set foot on a vessel -or seagoing craft of any kind, and -when, in the glitter of that finely -equipped steamer, I really crossed -over a corner of the great Atlantic -ocean, the very waves of which -touched other continents as well, I -felt that my world was miraculously -widening.</p> - -<p class='c006'>It was another merry party, and -<span class='pageno' id='Page_124'>124</span>magnificent spans of horses that met -and galloped away with us over the -country to our destination.</p> - -<p class='c006'>But the crowning astonishment -came when I was informed that it was -the desire and decision of all parties, -that I act as bridesmaid. That I assist -in introducing the younger of the -guests, and stand beside the tall, handsome -young bride who was to be my -sister, while she pledged her troth to -the brother dearer to me than my own -life.</p> - -<p class='c006'>This responsibility seemed to throw -the whole world wide open to me. -How well I remember the tearful resolution -with which I pledged myself -to try to overcome my troublesome -propensities and to strive only for the -courage of the right, and for the fearlessness -of true womanhood so much -needed and earnestly desired, and so -painfully lacking.</p> -<div class='figcenter id004'> -<img src='images/i_124.jpg' alt='' class='ig001' /> -<div class='ic002'> -<p>DAVID BARTON.<br /><br />MY YOUNGER BROTHER AND RIDING MASTER.</p> -</div> -</div> - -<p class='c006'><span class='pageno' id='Page_125'>125</span>November found us home again. -Under the circumstances, there must -naturally be a share of social gayeties -during the winter, and some preparations -for my new school duties; and I -waited with more or less apprehension -for what would be my first life among -strangers, and the coming of my anticipated -“First of May.” With -slight variation I could have joined -truthfully in the dear old child refrain:</p> - -<div class='lg-container-b c010'> - <div class='linegroup'> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line'>“Then wake and call me early,</div> - <div class='line in2'>Call me early, mother dear,”</div> - <div class='line'>For that will be the veriest day</div> - <div class='line in2'>“Of all the glad New Year.”</div> - </div> - </div> -</div> - -<div class='pbb'> - <hr class='pb c003' /> -</div> -<div class='tnotes'> - -<div class='section ph2'> - -<div class='nf-center-c0'> -<div class='nf-center c004'> - <div>TRANSCRIBER’S NOTES</div> - </div> -</div> - -</div> - - <ol class='ol_1 c002'> - <li>Silently corrected typographical errors and variations in spelling. - - </li> - <li>Archaic, non-standard, and uncertain spellings retained as printed. - </li> - </ol> - -</div> - -<div style='display:block; margin-top:4em'>*** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE STORY OF MY CHILDHOOD ***</div> -<div style='text-align:left'> - -<div style='display:block; margin:1em 0'> -Updated editions will replace the previous one—the old editions will -be renamed. -</div> - -<div style='display:block; margin:1em 0'> -Creating the works from print editions not protected by U.S. copyright -law means that no one owns a United States copyright in these works, -so the Foundation (and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United -States without permission and without paying copyright -royalties. 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