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diff --git a/old/64432-0.txt b/old/64432-0.txt deleted file mode 100644 index 4d835b7..0000000 --- a/old/64432-0.txt +++ /dev/null @@ -1,1627 +0,0 @@ -The Project Gutenberg eBook of Anguish Languish, by Howard L. Chace - -This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere in the United States and -most other parts of the world at no cost and with almost no restrictions -whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms -of the Project Gutenberg License included with this eBook or online at -www.gutenberg.org. If you are not located in the United States, you -will have to check the laws of the country where you are located before -using this eBook. - -Title: Anguish Languish - -Author: Howard L. Chace - -Illustrator: Hal Doremus - -Release Date: January 31, 2021 [eBook #64432] - -Language: English - -Character set encoding: UTF-8 - -Produced by: Tim Lindell and the Online Distributed Proofreading Team at - https://www.pgdp.net (This book was produced from images made - available by the HathiTrust Digital Library.) - -*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK ANGUISH LANGUISH *** - - - - - -ANGUISH LANGUISH - -[Illustration: _Horse waif enjoin toil-evasion._] - - - - - ANGUISH - LANGUISH - - _by - Howard L. Chace_ - - [Illustration] - - PRENTICE-HALL, INC. - ENGLEWOOD CLIFFS, N. J. - - © Copyright 1956 by - Prentice-Hall, Inc. - Englewood Cliffs, N. J. - - All rights reserved, including the right - to reproduce this book, or any portions - thereof, in any form except for the inclusion - of brief quotations in a review. - - LIBRARY OF CONGRESS CATALOG CARD NUMBER 56-8160 - - _PRINTED IN THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA_ - 03708 - - - - -CONTENTS - - - INTRODUCTION 7 - - 1. FURRY TELLS 19 - - _Ladle Rat Rotten Hut_ _19_ - - _Guilty Looks Enter Tree Beers_ _23_ - - _Center Alley_ _28_ - - 2. NOISIER RAMS 35 - - _Marry Hatter Ladle Limb_ _35_ - - _Sinker Sucker Socks Pants_ _37_ - - _Effervescent_ _39_ - - _Oiled Murder Harbored_ _40_ - - _Pitter Paper_ _40_ - - 3. FEY-MOUSE TELLS 41 - - _Casing Adder Bet_ _41_ - - _Violate Huskings_ _47_ - - 4. LATH THING THUMB THONGS! 57 - - _Fryer Jerker_ _57_ - - _Alley Wetter_ _59_ - - _Door Oil Gory Mayor_ _59_ - - _Dare Ashy Turban Inner Torn_ _60_ - - _Fur Hazy Jelly Gut Furlough_ _61_ - - _Hive Ban Walking Honor Roil Rut_ _61_ - - _Hurl, Hurl, Door Gong’s Oil Hair_ _63_ - - _Hormone Derange_ _63_ - - - - -INTRODUCTION - -THE ANGUISH LANGUISH - - -English words are astonishingly versatile and could readily be made to -serve a new and extraordinary purpose, but nobody seems to care about -this except SPAL (Society for the Promotion of the Anguish Languish).[1] -In keeping with its lofty ideals and its slogan, ANGUISH FOR EVERYBODY, -the Society is sponsoring this little text, which has three aims: - - 1. To improve the public’s understanding of the Anguish - Languish. - - 2. To improve the academic standing of the Anguish Languish. - - 3. To improve the social _and_ financial standing of the - Society. - - -☛ Policemen and Magicians - -A visiting professor of Anguish, Dr. ——[2], who, while learning to -understand spoken English, was continually bewildered and embarrassed -by the similarity of such expressions as _boys and girls_ and _poisoned -gulls_, used to exclaim: - -“Gracious! What a lot of words sound like each other! If it wasn’t -(_sic_) for the different situations in which we hear ’em, we’d have a -terrible time saying which was which.” - -Of course, these may not have been the professor’s exact words, because -he often did his exclaiming in Anguish rather than in English. In that -case he would say: - -“_Crashes! Water larders warts sunned lack itch udder! Effervescent -further deferent saturations an witch way harem, wade heifer haliver tam -sang witch worse witch._” - -Dr. —— was right, both in English and Anguish. Although other factors -than the pronunciation of words affect our ability to understand them, -the situation in which the words are uttered is of prime importance. -You can easily prove this, right in the privacy of your own kitchen, by -asking a friend to help you wash up a dozen cops and sorcerers. Ten to -one, she’ll think you said a dozen _cups and saucers_, and be genuinely -surprised if you put her to work cleaning up even _one_ police officer, -let alone all the others, and the magicians, too. - -If you think that she misunderstands merely because the two phrases sound -somewhat alike and _not_ because of the situation, read what SPAL’s -Committee on Housewives has to say: - -“Presented with a dishes-piled-in-sink situation, several hundred -well-adjusted housewives thought that _cops and sorcerers_ referred -to dishes, but seldom did normal subjects, interviewed under the same -conditions, make the opposite mistake. When they were asked to help us -wash _cups and saucers_, some women consented, some made stupid excuses, -and some told us bluntly to go wash them ourselves, but _practically no -one thought that we were talking about policemen and magicians_.” - -[Illustration: - - “_Are empty mustard off mar fate_ - _Are empty catsup off mouse hole._”] - - -What Anguish Really Is. ☚ - -The experiments described above, and hundreds of similar ones conducted -by SPAL show that _an unbelievable number of English words, regardless -of their usual meanings, can be substituted quite satisfactorily for -others_. When _all_ the words in a given passage of English have been so -replaced, the passage keeps its original meaning, but all the words have -acquired new ones. _A word that has received a new meaning has become -a ~wart~, and when all the words in the passage have become warts, the -passage is no longer English; it’s ~Anguish~._ - - -Are There Any Good Reasons to Study Anguish? ☚ - -This is not an altogether silly question, and it deserves the prompt and -unequivocal answer any Anguish Languish enthusiast will give it. - -“_Watcher mane, ardor rainy gut raisins toe sturdy anguish?_” he will -say, and will probably give you an impressive list of them which will -certainly include the following: - - -_1. Anguish is fun._ - -You and your friends can make a game out of learning Anguish, and you’ll -have fun developing your own style and observing each other’s efforts. -How to begin will be explained later. - - -_2. Anguish Languish means verbal economy._ - -If words can be made to do double, triple, or even quadruple duty, it is -obvious that we don’t need so many of them. Wouldn’t it be a comfort to -know that, in the event of some unpredictable disaster wiping out half of -our English vocabulary, we could, if we had learned Anguish, get along -nicely with what we had left?[3] - - -_3. Anguish helps out in certain social situations._ - -People who aren’t sure of themselves should learn Anguish. Suppose you -have been asked to dinner by the president of your company and his wife. -Since you haven’t met your hostess, you have spent some time, before -going, thinking up something to say that will really interest her. -Finally you decide to ask, during the dinner: - -“Mrs. Bellowell, didn’t I hear that your brother Henry was discovered to -be in collusion with those election crooks?” - -The moment arrives, but you no sooner get her attention than you have -sudden misgivings. Too late to change your subject, you slip deftly into -Anguish: - -“Mrs. Bellowell ... deaden are hair ditcher broader Hennery worse -dish-cupboard toe bang collision wet dozer liquor-chin crocks?” - -Chances are that everyone will be so fascinated by the graceful form of -your question that not even your hostess will attach much importance to -what you’ve asked. - -[Illustration: EUROPE OILY DISK MOANING! - -DOILY BOARD CASHES OR WARM!] - - -_4. Anguish relieves that terrible craving to tell dialect stories._ - -People who are addicted to telling dialect stories, or chronically -frustrated because they can’t tell them without Scotch brogue or -Brooklynese getting mixed up with Deep South, will be overjoyed with -Anguish. _Anguish is definitely ~not~ a dialect, since it consists ~only~ -of unchanged English words which anyone can pronounce._ By imparting -a delicate and indefinably exotic accent to one’s speech, however, it -not only provides a socially acceptable substitute for telling dialect -stories, but adds to one’s personal charm.[4] - - -_5. Anguish improves your English._ - -As your Anguish vocabulary increases, you’ll find that your English -vocabulary does, too, but you must be careful not to mix them -up—something which people orphan do when they begin to use words -accordion to the way they sound rather than how they’re spelled. Words -which are rare in English are often common enough in Anguish, so you -have new opportunities to see them. Suppose you’re spending a week-end -reciting nursery rhymes in Anguish to a happy group of children or -immature adults, and come across _SING A SONG OF SIXPENCE, A POCKET FULL -OF RYE_. In Anguish, this, of course, is _SINKER SUCKER SOCKS PANTS, -APOCRYPHAL AWRY_. This will give you an unexpected chance to use the last -two words. - -You’d be surprised to know how many people haven’t the faintest idea -what a xyster is until they hear a SPAL member talking about his fodder, -murder, broader, and xyster. This makes them want to look _xyster_ up. -When they do, they find that, although _xyster_[5] in Anguish, may mean -_sister_, in English it’s nothing in the world but a common raspatorium. -Now raspatoria, and, therefore xysters are important surgical -instruments, nice to know about before being scheduled for an aberration. - -Speaking of xysters, hominy people know what _higglery_ is? Very few, yet -it occurs in the Anguish Languish version of something as well known as: - - “Murder, mare argo art toe swarm?” - “Yap, mar doling dodder, - Hank yore clues honor higglery larme - An dun gore norther warder!” - -While you’re looking up _higglery_, you might find _larme_, just a few -pages away in Webster’s Unabridged. - -[Illustration: “—_wail, debt worse inner laest wake off Dismember—nor, -inner foist wake off Janizary—Doctor Smatters (haze mar surging) gummier -fun cull wan moaning, an set: ‘Gut moaning, Messes Huffywate, heresy -ladle bat noose furrier—yore garner heifer heifer nodder aberration.’ -Wail, whinny set ~debt~—” etc., etc._] - - -_6. Practical Anguish._ - -Anguish can be used for group study at parties and entertainments; as a -psychological test of something or other (we don’t know just what),[6] -and as practice material in Speech and Typing classes. - - -How Can One Learn Anguish? ☚ - -1. Read everything in this text aloud, and preferably in a group. Make a -game of it. - -You’ll find it easier to understand Anguish when you _hear_ it than when -you see it. If you have trouble, listen to someone else read it to you, -preferably someone who doesn’t quite know what he’s reading. This often -gives the best effect. Watch what happens when the listeners understand -better than the reader. - -2. Don’t try to read too fast and be sure to give all words their -usual English pronunciation, regardless of the new meaning the word -has acquired. An accurate pronunciation and good intonation are most -effective. - -3. Don’t worry if you seem to have suddenly acquired a slight accent; -your friends will tell you that this is most attractive. - - [1] The members of SPAL are the persons who have written to - the author concerning the Anguish Languish, especially the - thousands who wrote to request copies of LADLE RAT ROTTEN - HUT after Arthur Godfrey’s inimitable reading of it, on his - television show. The society is very poorly organized, in - fact few of the members even know they belong. There are no - officers, no meetings, no convention, and, worst of all, from - the point of view of the author and founder, no dues. - - [2] This isn’t his real name, nor is it intended to be the name - of any other Anguish Languish professor, living or dead. - - [3] Whether or not such a calamity is likely to occur seems - entirely beside the point; in times like these one should be - prepared for any emergency. - - [4] _ANGUISH ANONYMOUS_, an organization of former dialect - story tellers, sponsored by SPAL, can be called in difficult - cases. - - [5] The plural of _xyster_ in Anguish, is _cisterns_. See, in - this book, the story of _Center Alley_. - - [6] A research psychologist plans to use _Anguish Languish_ - to provide data for a study entitled: “_Individual and Sex - Differences in Configurational Perception of Artificially - Contrived but Phenomenologically Comprehensible Auditory - Stimuli._” This sounds as if it should mean something. - - * * * * * - -The first item in this collection is a story familiar to all -readers—LITTLE RED RIDING HOOD. Or, as you can probably say now in -Anguish, LADLE RAT ROTTEN HUT. - -_Heresy ladle furry starry toiling udder warts—warts welcher altar girdle -deferent firmer once inner regional virgin._ This sentence means: “Here -is a little fairy story told in other words—words which are altogether -different from the ones in the original version.” - -ORIOLE RATTY? DEN LESS GAT STUTTERED! - - - - -1 - -FURRY TELLS - - - - -LADLE RAT ROTTEN HUT - - -Wants pawn term dare worsted ladle gull hoe lift wetter murder inner -ladle cordage honor itch offer lodge, dock, florist. Disk ladle gull -orphan worry putty ladle rat cluck wetter ladle rat hut, an fur disk -raisin pimple colder Ladle Rat Rotten Hut. - -[Illustration] - -Wan moaning Ladle Rat Rotten Hut’s murder colder inset. - -“Ladle Rat Rotten Hut, heresy ladle basking winsome burden barter an -shirker cockles. Tick disk ladle basking tutor cordage offer groin-murder -hoe lifts honor udder site offer florist. Shaker lake! Dun stopper -laundry wrote! Dun stopper peck floors! Dun daily-doily inner florist, an -yonder nor sorghum-stenches, dun stopper torque wet strainers!” - -“Hoe-cake, murder,” resplendent Ladle Rat Rotten Hut, an tickle ladle -basking an stuttered oft. - -Honor wrote tutor cordage offer groin-murder, Ladle Rat Rotten Hut mitten -anomalous woof. - -“Wail, wail, wail!” set disk wicket woof, “Evanescent Ladle Rat Rotten -Hut! Wares are putty ladle gull goring wizard ladle basking?” - -“Armor goring tumor groin-murder’s,” reprisal ladle gull. “Grammar’s -seeking bet. Armor ticking arson burden barter an shirker cockles.” - -“O hoe! Heifer gnats woke,” setter wicket woof, butter taught tomb shelf, -“Oil tickle shirt court tutor cordage offer groin-murder. Oil ketchup -wetter letter, an den—O bore!” - -Soda wicket woof tucker shirt court, an whinny retched a cordage offer -groin-murder, picked inner windrow, an sore debtor pore oil worming -worse lion inner bet. Inner flesh, disk abdominal woof lipped honor -bet, paunched honor pore oil worming, an garbled erupt. Den disk ratchet -ammonol pot honor groin-murder’s nut cup an gnat-gun, any curdled ope -inner bet. - -Inner ladle wile, Ladle Rat Rotten Hut a raft attar cordage, an ranker -dough ball. “Comb ink, sweat hard,” setter wicket woof, disgracing is -verse. - -Ladle Rat Rotten Hut entity bet rum, an stud buyer groin-murder’s bet. - -“O Grammar!” crater ladle gull historically, “Water bag icer gut! A -nervous sausage bag ice!” - -“Battered lucky chew whiff, sweat hard,” setter bloat-Thursday woof, -wetter wicket small honors phase. - -“O, Grammar, water bag noise! A nervous sore suture anomalous prognosis!” - -“Battered small your whiff, doling,” whiskered dole woof, ants mouse -worse waddling. - -“O Grammar, water bag mouser gut! A nervous sore suture bag mouse!” - -Daze worry on-forger-nut ladle gull’s lest warts. Oil offer sodden, -caking offer carvers an sprinkling otter bet, disk hoard-hoarded woof -lipped own pore Ladle Rat Rotten Hut an garbled erupt. - - * * * * * - -MURAL: Yonder nor sorghum stenches shut ladle gulls stopper torque wet -strainers. - - - - -GUILTY LOOKS ENTER TREE BEERS - - -Wants pawn term dare worsted ladle gull hoe hat search putty yowler coils -debt pimple colder Guilty Looks. Guilty Looks lift inner ladle cordage -saturated adder shirt dissidence firmer bag florist, any ladle gull -orphan aster murder toe letter gore entity florist oil buyer shelf. - -“Guilty Looks!” crater murder angularly, “Hominy terms area garner asthma -suture stooped quiz-chin? Goiter door florist? Sordidly NUT!” - -“Wire nut, murder?” wined Guilty Looks, hoe dint peony tension tore -murder’s scaldings. - -“Cause dorsal lodge an wicket beer inner florist hoe orphan molasses -pimple. Ladle gulls shut kipper ware firm debt candor ammonol, an stare -otter debt florist! Debt florist’s mush toe dentures furry ladle gull!” - -Wail, pimple oil-wares wander doe wart udder pimple dum wampum toe doe. -Debt’s jest hormone nurture. Wan moaning, Guilty Looks dissipater murder, -an win entity florist. - -Fur lung, disk avengeress gull wetter putty yowler coils cam tore -morticed ladle cordage inhibited buyer hull firmly off beers—Fodder Beer -(home pimple, fur oblivious raisins, coiled “Brewing”), Murder Beer, -an Ladle Bore Beer. Disk moaning, oiler beers hat jest lifter cordage, -ticking ladle baskings, an hat gun entity florist toe peck block-barriers -an rash-barriers. Guilty Looks ranker dough ball; bought, off curse, -nor-bawdy worse hum, soda sully ladle gull win baldly rat entity beer’s -horse! - -Honor tipple inner darning rum, stud tree boils fuller sop—wan grade bag -boiler sop, wan muddle-sash boil, an wan tawny ladle boil. Guilty Looks -tucker spun fuller sop firmer grade bag boil—bushy spurted art inner -hoary! - -“Arch!” crater gull, “Debt sop’s toe hart—barns mar mouse!” - -Dingy traitor sop inner muddle-sash boil, witch worse toe coiled. Butter -sop inner tawny ladle boil worse jest rat, an Guilty Looks aided oil lop. - -Dingy nudist tree cheers—wan anomalous cheer, wan muddle-sash cheer, an -wan tawny ladle cheer. Guilty Looks set darn inner ladle cheer, bushy -worse toe bag ferret, ant soddenly bustard. - -Clamming upper stars tutor beer’s bet-rum, Guilty Looks dish-cupboard -tree bets—wan grade bag bet, wan muddle-sash bet, an wan tawny ladle bet. -Failing torrid, shay flunker shelf honor ladle bet, an, jester cobbler -menace letter, worse sunder slip an snorting. - -[Illustration] - -Inner ladle wile, donors offer cordage cam beck firmer barrier-pecking -extradition, currying baskings fuller rash-barriers. Whinny entity -darning rum, Fodder Beer stuttered snuffing an gruelling tomb shelf. - -“Warts ban goring earn hair?” crumpled dole beer, “Conjure small -psalm-sing deferent a boarder horse?” - -“Crashes!” crater murder beer, ashy castor quack glands adder tipple, -“Hose ban muddling wet debt sop?” - -Ladle Bore Beer stuttered crayon. - -“Jest locket mar ladle boiler sop—oil garbled dope! An locket mar itchy -pitchy cheer—oil bustard!” - -Locking adder bustard cheer, Murder Beer bay-gander gat historical, an -stuttered hurling tore horsebarn: - -“Brewing! Brewing! Way gut BURGHERS inner horse. HORSE BURGHERS! Quack! -Coiler place! Wail, dun stun dare lacking end-bustle during nosing! -Coiler Place Deportment, quack!” - -“Harmer garner coiler Place Deportment wen way dun heifer toiler-fun?” -resplendent Brewing, inner trampling verse. “Set darn, worming, an cape -quoit! Yore oil-wares thanking dare burghers inner horse!” - -Oiler shame, Brewing worse jesters scarred aster udders; infect, haze -niece war shagging. - -Finely, Fodder Beer gutter grade bag short-gum, Murder Beer gutter -muddle-sash haunting raffle, an Ladle Bore Beer gutter tawny ladle -pestle, an oiler beers crypt upper stars, ware Guilty Looks worse line -honor bet, sunder slip an snorting. Herring door beers, shay weakened, -lipped otter door windrow, an dished aware harm jesters fascist shagged -scrabble. - -Oiler beers tar darner stars, an stuttered toe locker doers an windrows. - -“Fodder,” aster ladle bore beer, finely, “Wart _worse_ debt discussing -crasher honor bet? Wart _worse_ debt ogling ammonol wet oil debt yowler -far honor had, an hoe dint half nor far atoll honor beck? Wart _worse_ -debt hobble lurking crasher, Fodder?” - -Fodder Beer shuttered. - -“Comb hair, mar bore. Heresy gut lessen furrier! Debt discussing crasher -worsen HORMONE BANG! Kipper ware firm debt candor ammonol! Dare nor gut! -Warts mar, are dun wander catcher goring entity florist oil bar yore -shelf. _Debt florist’s mush toe dentures furry ladle beer!”_ - - - - -CENTER ALLEY - - -Center Alley worse jester pore ladle gull hoe lift wetter stop-murder an -toe heft-cisterns. Daze worming war furry wicket an shellfish parsons, -spatially dole stop-murder, hoe dint lack Center Alley an, infect, word -orphan traitor pore gull mar lichen ammonol dinner hormone bang. Oily -inner moaning disk wicket oiled worming shorted, “Center Alley, gad -otter bet, an goiter wark! Suture lacy ladle bomb! Shaker lake!” an firm -moaning tell gnat disk ratchet gull word heifer wark lacquer hearse toe -kipper horsing ardor, washer heft-cistern’s closing, maker bets, gore -tutor star fur perversions, cooker males, washer dashes an doe oily udder -hoard wark. Nor wander pore Center Alley worse tarred an disgorged! - -Wan moaning, Center Alley herder heft-cisterns tucking a boarder bag boil -debtor prance worse garner gift toiler pimple inner lend. - -“O stop-murder,” crater ladle gull, “Water swill cerebration debt boil’s -garner bay! Are sordidly ward lacquer goiter debt boil!” - -“Shed dope, Center Alley,” inserter curl stop-murder, “Yore tucking -lichen end-bustle! Yore nutty goring tore debt boil—_armor_ goring tutor -boil wet yore toe heft-cisterns. Yore garner stair rat hair, an kipper -horsing ardor an washer pods an pens! Gore tutor boil? Hoar, hoar! Locket -yore close—nosing bought racks!” - -Soda wicket stop-murder any toe ogling cisterns pot honor expansive -closing, an stuttered oft tutor boil, living pore Center Alley setting -buyer far inner racket closing, wit tares strumming darner chicks. - -Soddenly, Center Alley nudist debt annulled worming hat entity rum, an -worse setting buyer site. Disk oiled worming worry furry gourd-murder. - -“Center Alley, Center Alley,” whiskered dole worming, “watcher crane -aboard? Ditcher wander goiter debt boil? Hoe-cake, jest goiter yore -gardening an pickle bag pomp-can; den goiter yore staple an gutter bag -rattletrap witch contends sex anomalous ratch. Wail, watcher wading fur? -Gat goring!” - -Center Alley garter pomp-can any sex bag ratch. Inner flesh, dole worming -chintz door pomp-can intern anomalous, gorges, courage. Dingy chintz -door sex beg ratch enter sex wide hearses. Oil offer sodden, Center -Alley real-iced dashy worse warring putty an expansive closing—sulk an -sadden—an honor ladle fate war toe putty ladle gloss slobbers. - -[Illustration] - -Center Alley, harpy acid lurk, clammed entity gorges courage, any sex -wide hearses gobbled aware tutor prance’s boil. - -“O bore!” crater prance, whinny sore Center Alley, “Hoes disk putty ladle -checking wetter gloss slobbers?” any win ope toe Center Alley an aster -furry dense, den fur servile udders. Door prance dint wander dense wet -dodder gulls—jest wet Center Alley. - -Pimple whiskered, “Jest locket debt gnats-lurking cobble! Door prance -sordidly enter-stance harder peck gut-lurking worming!” - -Ladle Center Alley worse door bail offer boil. - -Door wicket stop-murder any toe ogling cisterns wore trampling wet anchor -an forestation. - -“Courses, courses!” crater stop-murder. “Hoes debt ladle Manx wetter -gloss slobbers? A nervous sore suture ladle horsey, any prance axe -lackeys knots a barter! Lucks lackeys garner dense wetter oil gnat, wile -oil ware during aster set hair an kipper cheers worm! Courses!” - -Oil offer sodden door cluck stork mit-gnat. Inner flesh, Center Alley’s -putty closing chintz backer racks, enter pore gull hatter dasher ware -firmer boil. Goring donor steers, Center Alley caked offer ladle gloss -slobber. Door prance traitor casher, bought oily gut worse door slobber. - -Necks moaning door Prance set: “Arm goring toe fine debt putty gull hoe -worse warring disk slobber. Shale bay mar waif, debt’s fur shore, an oil -bare horsebarn.” - -Den, lipping honors hearse, door prance gobbled aware. - -Whinny prance retched Center Alley’s horse, door stop-murder an toe -heft-cisterns wandered toe traitor pot honor gloss slobber. - -“Arch, arch! Debt hearts!” crater cisterns. “Are fates toe bag fur debt -slobber!” - -“Arch, arch! Ticket oft!” shorted door stop-murder, “Wart inhale yore -during, Prance? Debt slobber’s toe ladle furry hormone bang! Ticket oft!” - -Wile ticking offer slobber, door prance nudist Center Alley setting buyer -far, any set: “Hoes debt ratchet ladle crasher? Props debt pore gull cut -pot honor gloss slobber.” - -Door abdominal stop-murder any toe wicket heft-cisterns bust art luffing. - -“Hoar, hoar, hoar! Debt’s jest Center Alley. Yore wooden wander half -suture discussing parson furry waif! Lock attar hens and phase—oil -cupboard wet dart! Locket doze close—nosing bought racks!” - -“Jester seam,” resplendent door prance, gadding impassioned, “arm garner -traitor pot disk slobber honor ladle fort. Comb hair, Center Alley.” - -Wail, bores and gulls, badger canned gas wart hopping! Center Alley -tickle ladle slobber an potted earn. Den, oil offer sodden, door prance -potters alms rounder ladle gull an caster—rat honor mouse! - -Fur lung, wadding balls war wrangling, an Center Alley winter wear firmer -wicket stop-murder’s horse, an becalm door mattress offer prance’s gorges -mention. Center Alley worse jest knots aboard disk hansom horsebarn, an -lift, yonder daze harpy sorghum-stenches, furry lung, lung, tam. - - * * * * * - -MURAL: Ladle gulls shunt bay disgorged; warts garner hoppings garner -hopping. - - - - -2 - -NOISIER RAMS - - - - -MARRY HATTER LADLE LIMB - - - Marry hatter ladle limb - Itch fleas worse widest snore. - An ever-wear debt Marry win - Door limb worse shorter gore. - -[Illustration] - - - - -SINKER SUCKER SOCKS PANTS - - - Sinker sucker socks pants - Apocryphal awry - Foreign turnkey blank boards - Bagged inner pyre. - Whinny pious orphaned - Door boards bay-gander sink. - Worsen dizzy jelly ditch - Toe setter furry kink? - Door kink worse inner conning horse - Conning otters moaning. - Door coin worse inner panda - Aiding burden honing. - Door mate worse inner gardening - Hankering ardor cloys. - A lung camel blank board - An sniffed offer noise! - -[Illustration] - - - - -EFFERVESCENT - - - Effervescent further ACHE - dare wooden bather CHECKING. - Effervescent further PEG - way wooden heifer BECKING. - Effervescent further LESSENS - dare wooden bather DITCHERS. - Effervescent further ODDEST - way wooden heifer PITCHERS - Effervescent further CLASHES - way wooden kneader CLASH RUMS. - Effervescent further BASH TOPS - way wooden heifer BASH RUMS. - Effervescent further TUCKING - way wooden heifer LANGUISH. - Effervescent fur daze phony WARTS - nor bawdy cud spick ANGUISH! - - - - -OILED MURDER HARBORED - - - Oiled Murder Harbored - Wen tutor cardboard - Toe garter pore darker born. - Wenchy gut dare - Door cardboard worse bar - An soda pore dark hat known. - - - - -PITTER PAPER - - - Pitter Paper peeked or parker peckled paupers - Or packer peckled paupers pitter paper peeked - Aft Pitter Paper peeked or packer peckled paupers - Ware aster packer peckled paupers debt pitter paper peeked? - - - - -3 - -FEY-MOUSE TELLS - - - - -CASING ADDER BET - - _Oh, somewhere in this favored land the sun is shining bright;_ - _The band is playing somewhere, and somewhere hearts are light,_ - _And somewhere men are laughing, and somewhere children shout;_ - _But there is no joy in Mudville—mighty Casey has struck out._ - - ERNEST LAWRENCE THAYER - - -Heresy borsch-boil starry a boarder borsch boil gam plate lung, lung a -gore inner ladle wan hearse torn coiled Mutt-fill. - -Mutt-fill worsen mush offer torn, butted hatter putty gut borsch-boil -tame, an off oiler pliers honor tame, door moist cerebrated worse Casing. -Casing worsted sickened basement, any hatter betting orphanage off .526 -(punt fife toe sex). - -Casing worse gut lurking, an furry poplar—spatially wetter gull coiled -Any-bally. Any-bally worse Casing’s sweat-hard, any harpy cobble wandered -toe gat merit, bought Casing worse toe pore toe becalm Any-bally’s -horsebarn, (Boil pliers honor Mutt-fill tame dint gat mush offer celery; -infect, day gut nosing atoll.) - -Bought less gat earn wetter starry. - -Wan dare, inner Mutt-fill borsch boil pork, door scar stud lack disk -inner lest in-ink: - - MUTT-FILL 2 - UDDER TAME 4 - -Water disgorging saturation! Oiler Mutt-fill rotors setting inner -grin-stance, war failing furry darn inner mouse. - -Bought, watcher thank hopping? Soddenly wan offer Mutt-fill pliers hitter -shingle, an an-udder plier gutter gnats toe beggar! Soda war ptomaine -earn basis. Bust off oil, Casing ham-shelf, Mutt-fill’s cerebrated -better, worse combing ope toe bet! - -Whinny kraut inner grin-stance sore Casing combing, day stuttered toe -clabber hens an yowl, “Dare’s CASING! Attar bore, Casing!” An whinny -hansom sickened basement sundered confidentially ope tutor plat, oiler -Mutt-fill rotors shorted: - - “CASING ROAR! - CASING ROAR! - ROAR, ROAR, CASING!” - -Putty ladle Any-bally, setting oil buyer shelf inner grin-stance, worse -furry prod offer gut lurking loafer. Lack oiler udder pimple, Any-bally -worse shore debt Casing worse garner winner boil gam fur Mutt-fill. - -Casing weaved tutor kraut, an castor sweat glands add Any-bally, den -retched darn tutor grunt an robbed dart honors hens, an warped haze hens -honors pence. - -“PLY BOIL!” shorted door empire, gadding impassioned. - -Casing pecked upper bet, an locked adder patcher, any set tomb shelf: - -“Latter comb! Arm garner smirk disk boil rat offer defense!” - -ZOMBIE! Door boil short pest Casing lacquer canning boil. Casing dint -peony tension turret. - -“STORK WARN!” crater empire. - -Door kraut inner grin-stance stuttered shorting an coursing. - -“Wart inhale’s madder wet debt empire’s ICE? Hazy gun BLAND?” - -“Lessen, empire—Java heifer ICE exempted? Batter goiter seeder -obstetrician!” - -“Boor! Boor! B-o-o-r!” - -“O water bag BOMB!” - -Door patcher warn dope akin, any boil short pest Casing lacquer bullock -firmer raffle. - -“STORK TOE!” setter empire, lurking unctuously adder kraut. - -Oiler Mutt-fill fens an rotors war hurling wet anchor! Servile bear -bordels an corker cooler bordels cam firmer grin-stance, an fail honor -grunt, nut for firmer pore empire’s fate. - -Inner grin-stance, ladle Any-bally, hoe dint lacquer seer loafer mucker -bag foal otter ham-shelf, bay-gander wiper ice wetter tawny ladle lazy -hanker-sniff. - -Wants akin, Casing locked adder patcher, disk term wetter lock off gram -razor-lotion honors phase. - -“Jest locket Casing!” whiskered door kraut, “Disk term, Casing manes -baseness. Badger Casing’s garner smirk debt borsch-boil rat offer -defense!” - -SWASH! Casing swank adder boil wet oilers farce! Water swank! Wart -anomalous farce! Wart gram razor-lotion! - -Water sham debt Casing dint hitter boil! - -[Illustration] - -“Stork tree—yore art!” whiskered door empire, trampling, an gadding ratty -toe dock corker cooler bordels an bear bordels. - -Door kraut worse stunt. - -Any-bally worse sopping historically inner tawny ladle lazy hanker-sniff. - -Wail, yawl nor debt putty pacer pottery coiled CASING ADDER BET—spatially -doze lest melon-colic versus: - - “_O psalm-war an disk fevered lend, door soreness shunning brat;_ - _Door benders plying psalm-war, an psalm-war hurts alite,_ - _An psalm-war manor luffing, an psalm-war chaldron short;_ - _Butter ash nor jarring Mutt-fill—muddy Casing hash stork art!_” - -Bought lessen, forks! Wander nor wart _rally_ hopping? Wail, doze putty -versus becalm cerebrated—an Casing becalm cerebrated, toe! Suture bag -kraut off pimple cam toe Mutt-fill toe shag hens wetter hansom borsch -boil plier debt Casing win enter parlor-tricks, an gat retch. An, whinny -gut retch (conjure gas?) Casing becalm door diverted horsebarn off putty -ladle Any-bally. - - - - -Violate Huskings - -ore - -Ornery Aboard Inner Gelded Ketch - - -POT 1 - -_Darn Honor Form_ - -Heresy rheumatic starry offer former’s dodder, Violate Huskings, an wart -hoppings darn honor form. - -Violate lift wetter fodder, oiled Former Huskings, hoe hatter repetition -fur bang furry retch—an furry stenchy. Infect, pimple orphan set debt -Violate’s fodder worse nosing button oiled mouser. Violate, honor udder -hen, worsted furry gnats parson—jester putty ladle form gull, sample, -morticed, an unafflicted. - -Wan moaning Former Huskings nudist haze dodder setting honor cheer, -during nosing. - -“VIOLATE!” shorted dole former, “Watcher setting darn fur? Denture nor -yore canned gat retch setting darn during nosing? Germ pup otter debt -cheer!” - -“Arm tarred, Fodder,” resplendent Violate warily. - -“Watcher tarred fur?” aster stenchy former, hoe dint half mush symphony -further gull. “Are badger dint doe mush woke disk moaning! Ditcher curry -doze buckles fuller slob darn tutor peg-pan an feeder pegs?” - -“Yap, Fodder. Are fetter pegs.” - -“Ditcher mail-car caws an swoop otter caw staple?” - -“Off curse, Fodder. Are mulct oiler caws an swapped otter staple, an -fetter checkings, an clammed upper larder inner checking-horse toe gadder -oiler aches, an wen darn tutor vestibule guarding toe peck oiler bogs -an warms offer vestibules, an watched an earned yore closing, an fetter -hearses an....” - -“Ditcher _warder_ oiler hearses, toe?” enter-ruptured oiled Huskings. - -“Nor, Fodder, are dint.” - -“Dint warder mar hearses? Wire nut?” - -“Arm surrey, Fodder, butcher hearses jest worsen Thursday. Yore kin -leader hearse toe warder, Fodder, butcher cannon maggot drank. Lessen, -Fodder, arm tarred!” - -“Oil-wares tarred!” crumpled Huskings. “Wail, sense yore sore tarred, oil -lecher wrestle ladle, bought GAD OFFER DEBT CHEER! Wile yore wrestling, -yore kin maker bets an washer dashes.” - -Suture fodder! Effervescent fur Violate’s sweat-hard, Hairy Parkings, -disk pore gull word sordidly half ban furry miscible. - - -POT 2 - -_Moan-late an Roaches_ - -Violate worse jest _wile_ aboard Hairy, hoe worse jester pore form bore -firming adjourning form. Sum pimple set debt Hairy Parkings dint half gut -since, butter hatter gut dispossession an hay worse medley an luff wet -Violate. Infect, Hairy wandered toe merrier, butter worse toe skirt toe -aster. - -Wan gnat Hairy an Violate war setting honor Huskings’ beck perch inner -moan-late, holing hens. - -“O Hairy,” crate Violate, “Jest locket debt putty moan! Arsenate -rheumatic?” - -“Yap,” inserted Hairy, lurking adder moan. - -“O Hairy,” contingent Violate, “Jest snuff doze flagrant orders combing -firmer putty rat roaches inner floor guarding! Conjure small doze orders, -Hairy? Conjure small debt deletitious flagrancy?” - -“Yap,” set Hairy, snuffing, lacquer haunting dug haunting fur rapids. - -[Illustration] - -“Lessen, Hairy,” whiskered Violate, “Arm ... arm oil-moist _shore_ yore -gut sum-sing toe asthma. Denture half sum-sing impertinent toe asthma, -Hairy? Denture?” - -Pore Hairy, skirt oil-moist artifice wets, stuttered toe trample, butter -poled ham-shelf toe-gadder, an gargled: - -“Ark ... yap, Violate ... are gas ... are gas are gut sum-sing ... O -shocks, Violate!” - -“Gore earn, Hairy, gore earn!” encysted Violate, gadding impassioned. -“Dun bay sore inhabited! Nor, den, watcher garner asthma?” - -“Wail, Violate, arm jester pore form bore, an dun half mush moaning....” - -“Hoe cars aboard moaning, Hairy? Pimple dun heifer bay retch toe gat -merit, bought day order _lack_ itch udder. Merit cobbles hoe _lack_ itch -udder gadder lung mush batter den udder cobbles hoe _dun_ lack itch -udder. Merit pimple order bay _congenital_, an arm _shore_, Hairy, debt -wail bay _furry_ congenital an contended, an, fur debt raisin, way dun -heifer half mush moaning.” - -Furry lung, lung, term disk harpy cobble set honor beck perch inner -moan-late, holing hens an snuffing flagrant orders firmer floors inner -floor guarding. Finely Violate set: - -“Bought lessen, Hairy—inner moaning yore gutter asthma fodder.” - - * * * * * - -Radar, conjure gas wart hopping? Hairy aster fodder, hoe exploited wet -anchor, an setter larder furry bat warts. Infect, haze languish worse -jest hobble. Yonder nor sorghum-stenches wad disk stenchy oiled mouser -lettuce dodder asepsis pore bore furry horsebarn. Hairy, shagging wetter -motion, toll Violate water fodder hat set. - -“Dun bay disgorged,” set Violate. “Wail jest waiter wile. Pimple hoe -wander gat merit gutter half passions.” - - -POT 3 - -_Evanescent Wan Think Itching Udder._ - -Wan moaning, servile wicks letter, Violate worse inner fodder’s -vestibule guarding darn honor hens an niece, pecking bogs an warms offer -vestibules. Soddenly shay nudist annulled badger-lore, home pimple cold -“Carnal” Gatretch, combing entity guarding. (Gatretch worsen rallier -carnal—hay worse jester retch oiled stork-barker hoed madder mullion -dullards soiling storks an barns, an hoe lift inner palatal an luxuriant -mention nut fur firmer Huskings’ form.) - -“Gut moaning, Carnal Gatretch,” set Violate respectively. “Europe oily -disk moaning.” - -“Doily board cashes a warm!” resplendent Gatretch wetter wicket charcoal. -“Arming oily board—an yore jester putty ladle warm.” - -“Arm shore yore jest jerking, Carnal,” setter gull, wetter morticed -blotch, “Warts mar, arm nutty warm—arm Violate Huskings.” - -“Nutty warm?” aster carnal, “Den watcher during darn honor hens an niece -inner mutton dart? O water sham, water sham, debt search putty ladle wide -hens shut bay oil cupboard wet mutton dart! Comb hair, Violate! Lessee -doze putty ladle hens! _Arm_ garner trait doze hens mar respectively.” - -“Jest warts yore porpoise, Carnal?” aster gull. “Jest watcher -incinerating?” - -“Conjure gas mar porpoise, doling?” whiskered dole stork-barker. “Conjure -gas wart arm incinerating? Wail, arm nutty garner baiter rounder borsch. -Heresy hull think inner nuptial—arm garner gat merit, an _yore_ garner -bay Messes Gatretch. Yore gamer heifer palatal an luxuriant mention an -storks an barns any cobble off Cattle-hacks, an yule bay warring manx an -udder gorges closing, an damnings an perils an udder jowls....” - -Violate shuttered. - -“Kip yore manx an damnings an perils an udder retches, Carnal! Are dun -wampum! Are dun wander merry nor-bawdy sceptor manor luff—an debt’s -Hairy Parkings!” - -“Hairy Parkings!” crumpled Gatretch, wetter snare honors phase, “Watcher -wander merry debt end-bustle fur? Hairy’s jester bomb!” - -Trampling wet indication, Violate stupid darn, pecked upper bag hen-furl -off dart an flunk disk dart rat inner oiled stork-barker’s phase! - -“Gat otter mar fodder’s vestibule guarding!” crater gull. “An dun comb -beck!” - -“Hoe-cake, hoe-cake,” murdered Gatretch, “bought lessen hair, gull, yore -garner heifer changer mine! Arm garner torque baseness wet yore fodder. -Arm garner muck yore fodder servile ladle prepositions. An _arm garner -bay yore horsebarn_!” - -Fleshed wet anchor, an crumpling tomb-shelf, Gatretch win beck tutor -Huskings’ horse toe torque tutor stenchy oiled mouser. - - -POT 4 - -_Wadding Balls an Better Tares._ - -Dole stork-barker worse rat. Former Huskings ascended tutor carnal’s -wicket preposition, an fur lung, Violate, sopping historically, an wet -better tares strumming darner chicks, worse becalming Messes Gatretch. -Censor fodder worse toe stenchy toe heifer wadding, Violate enter Carnal -war stunning inner orifice offer Jesters offer Pace, lessening tutor -jesters raiding doze fetal warts: - -“Carnal, door yore tick disk worming furrier awful waif?” - -(“Shore,” setter stork-barker.) - -“Violate, door yore tick disk carnal furrier awful horsebarn?” - -(“Y-Yap,” set Violate, sopping historically.) - -Pimple shirker hets an set: - -“Water sham! Suture putty gull an suture disherpated oiled badger-lore! -Suture think shunt hopping tore gnats gull lack Violate!” - -“Pore Violate! Violate’s garner bay ornery aboard inner gelded ketch!” - -Hairy Parkings worse melon-colic, butter worsen disgorged, any set -tomb-shelf: - -“Carnal Gatretch’s jester cat-napper hoe cat-napped mar sweat-hard. -Wail, jest waiter wile—props Hairy Parkings kin doer ladle cat-napping -ham-shelf.” - -Servile wicks pest. - -Wan dock gnat, wile Violate’s horsebarn worse aware honor baseness trap, -Hairy gutter lung larder, an clammed ope toe Violate’s bet-rum windrow. - -“Violate!” Hairy whiskered. “Germ pup! Itch yore loafer! Itch Hairy!” - -Violate, herring debt farm-oilier verse, lipped otter bet, pot honor -putty ladle bet-rum slobbers, an expansive four-laned, hen-an-bordered -horse-court, an cam tutor windrow. - -“Lessen, Violate,” set Hairy, “Armor goring aware. Armor goring tumor -groin-murder’s form, darning Messy-soupy, an armor garner peck carton fur -mar groin-murder. Peck yore begs, Violate! Gad otter disk gelded ketch! -Clam darner larder, an wail goiter garter dam toe Messy-soupy!” - -Furry mint, Violate dint yonder-stander loafer’s preposition, den, wetter -harpy, harpy, lurk honor phase, shay set: - -“Yore rat, Hairy. Arm jester pore ladle retch gull—ornery aboard inner -gelded ketch. Bought O bore! Water SWILL ketch! Dun heifer feeder pegs! -Dun heifer mail-car caws an swoop otter caw staple! Dun heifer feeder -checkings an gadder aches an peck warms offer vestibules! Dun heifer -doe nor watching an earning, dun heifer warder hearses an maker bets an -washer dashes! Door yore thank armor garner flier ware firm oil disk -lechery? Known date! Sordidly nut! An lessen, Hairy; heresy ladle gut -adverse: Wile yore darning Messy-soupy, dun stutter peck carton furrier -groin-murder. Kipper _ware_ firmer form, an finer swill possession inner -stork-barker’s orifice. Soil storks an barns, an maggot mullion dullards. -DEN comb beck tumor windrow wet yore larder!” - - - - -4 - -LATH THING THUMB THONGS! - - - - -FRYER JERKER - - - Fryer Jerker, Fryer Jerker, - Dormer-view? Dormer-view? - Sunny lay martini! - Sunny lay martini! - Drink, drank, drunk. - Drink, drank, drunk. - -[Illustration] - - - - -ALLEY WETTER - - - Alley wetter, jaunty alley wetter, - Alley wetter, shutter plumber ray. - Shutter plumber railer tat - Shutter plumber railer tat - Ale a tat, ale a tat - Ale a tat, ale a tat - O, - - Alley wetter, jaunty alley wetter, - Alley wetter, shutter plumber ray. - - - - -DOOR OIL GORY MAYOR - - - Odor oil gory mayor, shay ant washy oyster bay - Ant washy oyster bay, - Ant washy oyster bay! - Door oil gory mayor, shay ant washy oyster bay - Money lung yares a gore! - - - - -DARE ASHY TURBAN INNER TORN - - - Dare ashy turban inner torn, inner torn - An dare mar dare luff set shim darn, set shim darn - An drakes haze whine wet lefter fray - An nabber, nabber thanks off may. - Farther wail fur arm moist leaf year, - Doughnut letter parroting grave year, - Enter member debtor bust off fronts moist port, moist port. - Adjure, adjure, canned fronts, adjure, adjure, adjure; - Are kin nor lunger stare wet your, stare wet your. - Oil hank mar hop honor warping wallow tray, - An murder whirl gore wail wet they. - - - - -FUR HAZY JELLY GUT FURLOUGH - - - Fur hazy jelly gut furlough - Fur hazy jelly gut furlough - Fur hazy jelly gut furlough - Witch nor bawdy candor nigh - - - - -HIVE BAN WALKING HONOR ROIL RUT - - - Hive ban walking honor roil rut - Oiler laugh lung dare; - Hive ban walking honor roil rut - Jester pester tam aware. - Conjure herder weasels blurring, - Blurring sore oily inner moan? - Conjure herder chaldron shorting, - Diner want chew blur debt hone? - -[Illustration] - - - - -HURL, HURL, DOOR GONG’S OIL HAIR - - - Hurl, hurl, door gong’s oil hair! - Moisten satyr knotty wart! - Moisten satyr knotty wart! - Hurl, hurl, door gong’s oil hair! - Wart inhale dough way cur, nor? - - - - -HORMONE DERANGE - - - O gummier hum warder buffer-lore rum - Enter dare enter envelopes ply, - Ware soiled’em assured adage cur-itching ward - An disguise earn it clotty oil die. - - Harm, hormone derange, - Warder dare enter envelopes ply, - Ware soiled’em assured adage cur-itching ward - An disguise earn it clotty oil die. - -*** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK ANGUISH LANGUISH *** - -Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions will -be renamed. - -Creating the works from print editions not protected by U.S. copyright -law means that no one owns a United States copyright in these works, -so the Foundation (and you!) can copy and distribute it in the -United States without permission and without paying copyright -royalties. 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