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diff --git a/.gitattributes b/.gitattributes new file mode 100644 index 0000000..d7b82bc --- /dev/null +++ b/.gitattributes @@ -0,0 +1,4 @@ +*.txt text eol=lf +*.htm text eol=lf +*.html text eol=lf +*.md text eol=lf diff --git a/LICENSE.txt b/LICENSE.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..6312041 --- /dev/null +++ b/LICENSE.txt @@ -0,0 +1,11 @@ +This eBook, including all associated images, markup, improvements, +metadata, and any other content or labor, has been confirmed to be +in the PUBLIC DOMAIN IN THE UNITED STATES. + +Procedures for determining public domain status are described in +the "Copyright How-To" at https://www.gutenberg.org. + +No investigation has been made concerning possible copyrights in +jurisdictions other than the United States. Anyone seeking to utilize +this eBook outside of the United States should confirm copyright +status under the laws that apply to them. diff --git a/README.md b/README.md new file mode 100644 index 0000000..5803317 --- /dev/null +++ b/README.md @@ -0,0 +1,2 @@ +Project Gutenberg (https://www.gutenberg.org) public repository for +eBook #63542 (https://www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/63542) diff --git a/old/63542-0.txt b/old/63542-0.txt deleted file mode 100644 index 2fbb1a9..0000000 --- a/old/63542-0.txt +++ /dev/null @@ -1,3058 +0,0 @@ -The Project Gutenberg EBook of The Twentieth Century Epic, by R. B. Garnett - -This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere in the United States and most -other parts of the world at no cost and with almost no restrictions -whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms of -the Project Gutenberg License included with this eBook or online at -www.gutenberg.org. If you are not located in the United States, you'll have -to check the laws of the country where you are located before using this ebook. - -Title: The Twentieth Century Epic - -Author: R. B. Garnett - -Release Date: October 24, 2020 [EBook #63542] - -Language: English - -Character set encoding: UTF-8 - -*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE TWENTIETH CENTURY EPIC *** - - - - -Produced by Charlene Taylor, David E. Brown, and the Online -Distributed Proofreading Team at https://www.pgdp.net (This -file was produced from images generously made available -by The Internet Archive/American Libraries.) - - - - - - -[Illustration: _R. B. Garnett._] - - - - - _The_ TWENTIETH - CENTURY - EPIC - - By R. B. Garnett - - [Illustration] - - THE ROXBURGH PUBLISHING CO., INC. - Boston - - - - - Copyrighted 1914 - - By REUBEN BRODIE GARNETT - - All Rights Reserved - - - - -Dedication - - -To the human race this little book is dedicated, with the hope that it -may bring some cheer, and also teach you a few things that may lessen -your burdens. The subjects that I have put into rhyme are presented as -they come to me from my life of experience. - -My criticisms may appear too severe, but remember that only your truest -friends are allowed to tell you of your faults. - - REUBEN BRODIE GARNETT. - - - - - _The_ TWENTIETH - CENTURY EPIC - - - - -Preface - -By the Author. - - -This poem that I have dignified with the term epic, was written by -inspiration, and is dedicated to the human race. I have used the term -epic with no intention of assuming a dignity not due my production; -but, in the sense that the precepts and warnings contained therein, -have a lofty purpose; and are graphically set forth in the plainest -words in the English language. - -I have not indulged in similes or hyperboles; nor does my epic abound -with those picturesque figures of comparison found in Homer or Virgil, -nor those cadences and swells found in The Paradise Lost, describing -the headlong falls and gigantic flights of those god-like personages -peopling the heavens and earth in the poetic mind; nor does my -inspiration come from muse or divine breath; nor did it descend upon -me from above; on the contrary, it sprang up out of the deep feeling I -have for my kind, especially those in the strained walks of life. - -Our twentieth century shows society in the process of centralizing -itself; and, gradually forcing us into legal socialism. This is -plainly shown in the poem. The process of centralization, for years, -worked slowly in this country. As long as the influence of the founders -of our Republic was potent, liberty was dominant. - -The first step in this process was the inauguration of a general system -of free public schools. The direct result of this free education was to -overcrowd the book and head portion of our population at the expense -of the producing classes, making it harder for the clerk to make a -bare living. The idea of every parent now seems to be that his or her -offspring is especially adapted to the learned professions and to -society. - -This was also the first step towards the diversion of public funds to -private enterprise. The appropriation of public moneys to the extensive -and widening fields of private affairs has progressed rapidly in the -last decade. This, with its evils, is vividly set forth in my poem. -Unless this is checked by united, immediate action, socialism will -increase more rapidly in the future than in the past, is my prophecy. -This results from the fact that the tax-eaters are the ones who -manipulate our bond elections. - -The result is plain, and can be predicted with certainty; the end of -socialism will be the extreme opposite and, that you all know is -anarchy. When everything is so striking that nothing strikes, or in -other words, when there are more laws than we can possibly tolerate, -we’ll naturally rebel and kick them all over; all, as shown in this -epic. The last transition will likely be accomplished by bloodshed and -strife. - -The laws for the management of society in a state of complete legal -socialism will be so numerous and complicated; and the bureaus so -haughty and domineering that freemen will not try to learn them, much -less obey them. In fact, no one can now keep pace with the rapid -production of laws under our incipient socialism. The fight I make is -to break off now and go back to fundamentals, as shown in my poem. - -As against socialism or anarchy I deliberately prefer the latter; but, -as against both of them I prefer a government of limited powers, based -exclusively on natural laws that I have so forcibly defined in this -work; with a complete abandonment of the barbarous idea of punishment -for crimes by criminal courts; the man who commits a crime is to be -pitied and helped to a more sane mode of existence, and not be driven -into perpetual criminality. As to how he shall be handled can be better -settled when we clear ourselves of our false notions on the subject. - -Our legal servants, we call officers, are now deteriorating with great -rapidity, as set forth in this poem under “Names.” My remedy for that -is to cut down the salaries of all officers from President down, so low -that no one will seek office for money. Then have the laws such that -men will be selected and compelled to serve, by public sentiment, for -short terms and take out part of their pay in patriotism and good will. - -My observation, over a number of years, shows that the higher the -salary, the more inefficient the officer. High salaries also give birth -to gangs of politicians who fatten off the public funds and salaries of -their appointees, making graft semi-respectable. - -Honesty in public and private life seems to me to be very desirable; -and, it could be so easily attained, as set forth in my epic. Of -course, under our prevailing system, honesty is out of the question; -and if any of you think that I have not convicted you of dishonesty, -as defined under that topic, please send me your photograph to be used -herein. - -In writing this poem I have no malice in my heart for a single human -being on earth; and, if in any way I have touched upon any of your -pet notions or sacred ideas, and thereby wounded your feelings, I -sincerely ask your forgiveness; with me all truth is sacred. I have no -ill-will against preachers, lawyers, or doctors; I wrote you up to make -you think, and also to let you know you were not fooling me. - -In conclusion, I say to you one and all, as brothers and fellow -citizens, let’s work together to save the greatest country and the -greatest civilization on earth. - - Let truth together bind us, - And supporting it find us. - - REUBEN BRODIE GARNETT. - - June 29, 1913. - - - - -Proem - - - I never shall appeal to any muse of old - To give inspiration to my story when it’s told, - But, in words all my own, shall my theme unfold; - And, for my love of man, I’ll tell you what I can; - Tell you what I know that you may truly scan - What to do and what to know for the good of man; - Tell you where to go, the places you should shun - On every working day, when your labor’s done. - In telling where to go I will not name the place - Where you should show your face, but let each run his race - And, for himself decide the spot to cast his lot. - I’ll point out mistakes to help put on brakes - Against the evils of our day one often makes. - From the Charlatan and all designing wise - Strip his robe of guise and expose him to your eyes. - The fawning sycophant and all his crafty kind - Will be painted so they’ll not be hard to find. - I’ll speak of laws and customs old with hoary age - Taught by rulers, priests, and many an ancient sage - That now are practically extinct with non-usage; - And regulations new that men had little to do - With bribes sometimes when they put them through - Legislative halls and Congress we’d now eschew. - I’ll speak to you about your manners - When you sometimes march with banners; - And even with hosannas sitting meekly in your pew - Revolving schemes against others you intend to do. - The roving politicians all seeking fat positions - To feed their hungry maws and all their kin-in-laws - Come in for their share when we divide the flaws. - Even the society genteel in their swift automobile - Had better beware their piccadillos to conceal. - Religions of every shade by ancients and moderns made - To subdue the gentle folk with all that they have said - This subject will meet its due before I’m through, - As I started out for things about that need review. - Theatres too, with music, painting and art, - Might all feel slighted not to have their part - In the criticism we bring as they my song may sing; - And the pictures my word recalls may be carved on walls - In the coming days as was done with other poet’s lays. - Developments in science where we place reliance - To alleviate the misdirection of our state - Should all be alluded to in the story we relate. - Wars, with all their frightful havoc spread - Where victorious and routed passed over dying and dead, - And peace too that came at last - That o’er the earth its healing blessings amassed - Should have a place when in plates my work is cast; - Also ethics, that practical theme so misunderstood, - Should here be elucidated for the general good; - And a few short digressions would not be out of place - In an Epic dedicated to and written for The Human Race. - But what is said under each head you may read, - So to my task the work shall proceed. - - - - -Admonition - - - Take from your statute laws and books - All legal protection for thieves and crooks; - Your complicated bills of mechanics’ liens - That offer to rogues the ample means - The owners of houses with their demesnes - To make go down humbly into their jeans - For the jingly coin doubly to pay - The working man, and padded expenses defray. - Your unjust schemes of municipal taxation - That cause home owners such great vexation. - Your tax upon mortgages, bills and notes - Upon which the poor man’s title barely floats, - Causing him to pay levies upon his lands - As if they were clear like the rich man’s; - By increasing for him his interest and dues - Which the money sharks collect as they choose. - Your laws against usury one may take - Tend solely the poor man’s back to break. - You drive away the cheap money he might get, - And leave him at the mercy of that lawless set - Who fatten upon unfortunates suddenly thrown in debt. - Nearly all your laws for the collection of dues - Into our commercial life dishonesty infuse. - Your regulations of homestead, exemption and stay - Simply postpone our troubles to another day. - By intricate trials with their writs and pleas; - And copious objections about titles and fees, - Remainders absolute, contingent and entailed, - Upon technicalities numberless justice is impaled; - Your instructions, your errors and appeals, - Until the waiting, anxious litigant feels - That the door of the temple of justice is locked; - And his chance of right is securely blocked. - Your free legal aid and your festive welfare board, - Their matrons and clerks, a mighty hungry hoard, - Impose upon the payers of taxes a weighty load; - All for the purpose of sending over the road - Some unfortunate victim of their own slimy graft - Or some poor devil whom they kick “fore and aft.” - Your Juvenile court of which the kids make sport, - Where curtailed haired women and men hold the fort. - And such institutions the wits of man can devise - Are considered by Progressives as blessings in disguise. - Your tariffs for protection passed in Congress halls - To build all around us mighty Chinese walls, - Are sapping from the people their dear blood of life, - And making for politicians no end of deadly strife. - Your proctor with his aids to fight against divorce; - Who by his pugnacity is seeking to enforce - Unfortunate couples bound in unhappy wedded lock - To parade their troubles upon the public dock; - And to bind the chains anew they seek to dissever, - Holding them fast that he may be deemed clever, - In the estimation of all the Christian Endeavor; - And that class of persons who want now and forever - To meddle in the affairs of all whomsoever - Are not able to disclaim the care they obtain; - Who crowd upon the weak the blessings they do not seek; - All to achieve for themselves a home in the sky - When from their missions on earth they fly. - The Commissioners of Vice are pulling for a slice - Of fame as it goes by investigating those - Who employ many girls simply to keep them in hose - And such other fancy articles that they suppose - Will always make them shine when they go out to dine, - As a girl dressed up haply feels fine. - And now here comes Teddy with his big stick and hat - For damages to his soiled name in legal spat, - With a small newspaper man suing for a big chunk - Because he published that T. R. had been drunk. - To tell the names of men who are shams in our times - Would overload my epic with variegated rhymes: - The one named above is more than a man; - He stands for ideas, a party and a clan - Born of disappointment and just turned loose - Sailing under the banner of the Big Bull Moose. - This clique of theirs all swelling up to burst - Decry all our institutions to be the very worst. - They’d have our laws, judges and courts recalled, - And others to suit them forthwith installed. - They’d regulate the wages men have to pay, - Neglecting to tell the laborer he might be in the way - Unless his work he did should his employers pay; - For unless his production his pay did compensate - He and others would soon be off the slate. - They told us too in tones as loud as they could prate - How all the monied men and trusts they’d regulate, - Carefully hiding the man who was running their slate, - And supplying the funds for them to navigate. - The working man too his dinner pail they’d fill - Forgetting also to tell him to send in his bill. - They’d secure to all the women free right to vote, - So they could say to hubby: “We’ve got your goat.” - And volumes of such ideas upon us did they float - All too numerous in this article to quote. - Drop your silly custom not worn off by growth - That judicial bodies must put a witness to oath, - That all he says and all that he shall quote - Will be the truth and nothing but the truth, - About the matters he relates in his witness booth. - The reasons for this habit have long passed forsooth, - It deceives none on bench or in jury box; - It may occasionally aid some old, designing fox - To some youthful, verdant judge deceive - And, of some just debt himself relieve. - On the whole, it does more harm than good - As at present the thing is generally understood: - For in a contested suit with one who knows - Against a trembly one who partially shows - Some lingering faith in “Old Scare Crows,” - The inclination to lie and deceive in the one - Would surely be by the other simply outdone: - The one might be bound by the fears of hell - While the other swears away his lies to tell. - When the witness swears he’s perjured unawares, - For by his plight he must the whole truth reveal - By the rule he must more than half conceal. - Stop your fight for prohibition and do the fair thing; - Our people to temperance themselves will shortly bring. - Take taxes off whisky, wine, liquor and beer; - And, for the cause of temperance you needn’t have a fear. - Let all your marts and markets freely sell - Every kind of liquor they ever heard tell; - Let every one the stuff make from gulf to lake; - Make the price so cheap that with one leap, - Men will forsake the common thing to keep. - At one cent a drink the bar keeper will think - His saloon will sink and soon put him on the brink - Of finding some other way all his expenses to pay; - So out soon he goes not stopping his doors to close. - There still will be drinking and that keeps you thinking, - That by compulsion you can create a revulsion - In the taste of man heap sooner than you can. - The truth is, you’ve always tried in vain - All these cultivated tastes of man to restrain. - The more you try to force men good habits to acquire, - The more you stir up and increase his raging desire, - To show his freedom against which you conspire. - He’ll go to any extent which you’ll never prevent, - To get his booze on which his mind is bent; - He’ll keep his “blind tigers” and his wooden legs, - Hollowed out and neatly made with faucet of pegs, - His whisky he’ll conceal and feel he’s in the right; - So you’ll not stop him no matter how you fight. - The drunkard will drink no matter what you think, - At any cost no matter if you consider him lost. - Make the price so cheap that for his family’s keep, - He’ll still be ahead to buy his folks their bread. - - - - -A Digression - - - I used to tell my friends what I was going to do, - And right away they’d say, “I wouldn’t if I were you.” - I know of once or twice by taking their advice, - A good deal I lost at a distressing cost. - Take my advice; choose your own course to pursue, - And, when you get your plan, just put it through, - And then tell no other man what you’ve been up to. - Then if you succeed you will never need, - Anybody else to claim part of your deed. - Even if you fail, don’t furl up your sail - Nor put your head under the bottom rail, - But try once more just the same as before. - - - - - [Illustration: _Dorothy_] - -Dorothy - - - Listen to this story about a little girl, - Who came into the world a short time ago. - I remember the day, only a few months or so; - It was in the month of March over a year; - When all trembling with hope and fear, - We did for her watch--all sincere. - At night she came, and without any name, - Because we did not know what her sex would be; - But at her scream, the doctor said “she”; - And, then, we all at once knew what to do; - About naming her the course to pursue. - We left it to her mother, herself a little bride, - This weighty matter of naming all to decide. - We told her all the names we did hear or see, - But she rejected them all and called her Dorothy. - So Dorothy’s my theme her grandmother’s dream, - During all those years when those babes of hers, - Us did come to see, and, now she still avers, - That she watched through the passing years - Looking to see if one of hers a girl might be, - But they were boys, the whole blessed three. - Now Dorothy’s here to fill our home with cheer - By her little, prattling talk and her shambling walk, - By her little tricks she plays in her winning ways, - Pulling off your hat and fumbling your cravat, - Knocking over chairs, trying to go upstairs, - Picking all the flowers for grandpa to smell, - And more other things than tongue or pen can tell. - She’s a little sprite and good for our sight. - But here I must pause and sadly say, - That one evil day a swelling came on her neck, - We thought for sure had come from us to take - The little brat, and all our hearts to break. - But the good doctor came and now she’s the same - As she was before the blasted swelling came. - May I never see the day till my race on earth is run - When any evil at all shall befall this little one. - Many of you have plenty of such chaps, - That jump up and down upon your laps, - Who are just as pretty and just as sweet; - And you walk with them upon the street, - To the market and to the drug store, - Where you buy food stuffs for them galore, - Just the same as I do for mine o’er and o’er. - But still with me a great difference I see, - Between your brats and my Dorothy, - And the reason that you do not with me agree - Is simply because you are you and I am me. - - - - -Divorce - - - Now drop a little tear, but don’t stop here, - Come along now and let’s see if we can agree - Upon another matter while o’er the thing I scatter - Some thoughts I have, not intending myself to flatter. - Divorce is a question about which many disagree; - Some think it’s wrong; some think it’s right maybe. - Now upon it let’s begin our wordy fight and see. - For a beginning I will postulate, simply to open the debate, - That it is not an affair of the state that couples separate, - When they each other fervently hate; - Except where children, a care about whose fate, - On the conscience of the public might grate, - Are brought into court for the judge to state - In his judicial opinion of the case, - What he considers best for the human race. - Then of course if His Honor is wise, he’ll devise - Some plan to make wife and man either realize, - That if they are deaf to the cries of their offspring - The court itself will bring pressure into the thing - They’re about to do, and, before it gets through, - I think that neither me nor you will any suggestion make - Or advice give about what course the law will take. - If when all this is done and the court can’t make them one, - Then it is up to him and all my talk is done. - Some people oppose divorce on account of their views, - Acquired from that book written by ancient Jews. - Some think it a disgrace upon the entire human race, - For any sundered couples to have a place, - On the green earth where they may show their face. - This narrow view is not entertained by you or me, - Because we’ve been along far enough to see - Some of the things from whom some are set free. - Others oppose it on the score of “I told you so! - People oughtn’t marry whom they did not know.” - Some plunge deep into the matter, themselves they flatter, - That they can some great big principles scatter, - Over the very causes while they chatter. - They’d take it in time and let the big state - Issue its own red-sealed certificate, - To all spooning couples longing to mate, - And, at one single throw the entire nuisance abate. - Then these smart ones pucker their mouth, - With their heads tossed north and south, - To see if anybody should really act so shoddy, - As not an acquiescent head to at once noddy. - But the main fight does not come from home, - It thunders from the pope of Rome; - And, there are plenty of folks take his word home. - He says marriage is the sacred thing of life, - And when one takes a wife, regardless of strife, - They cannot be cut apart with a butcher’s knife. - So you may shake this subject up and down, - In country, village and town, and use every noun, - Verb, adverb and pronoun from early morn to sundown, - And the people will no better be made, for all your - Prattle and all you said. - The real causes of the thing are ingrain, - Born in the heart and born in the brain, - Maybe, by any by, before you die, but not I, - Science may teach us to create and the race propagate, - In some other way besides this vexing marriage state. - - - - -Social Evil - - - The next subject allied the last, on to which - I have been trying my train of thoughts to switch, - Is one to which a common word is applied, - That just as well fits many other things beside; - But the meaning of which comes easily when tried; - And seems to pop into your heads with no upheaval, - Is that natural crime called “the social evil.” - Now, I did not make people and neither did you, - But if a certain inspired book be true, - Some one made man for a start, - And then chopped out him a piece near his heart, - And constructed another of a little different sort. - If this be true the “some one” must be divinity - For, ever since, there has been a mysterious affinity, - Between the two kinds in every community. - On this subject we must not too widely roam, - Because it might bring some trouble home, - To some of you married men who every now and then - Feel like jumping out of your own pen. - Legislation and investigation and even humiliation, - Over all creation, in homes of every station, - Among peoples of every tribe and nation, - Have to this offense brought emancipation. - Women have been burned at the stake, - In attempting to make them forsake, - The lives they were leading, the men they were bleeding. - In all your statute books, in corners and nooks, - Laws have been framed against every thing that looks - Towards countenancing any form of prostitution: - Yet with all this and your contribution, - In your vain attempts to revise the constitution - Of woman and man ever since the world began, - You have not yet laid the foundation - For killing this wicked institution. - You have tried segregation into dark streets, - Where your own policemen lose their beats; - You have tried fines in the police courts, - Where they fetch up all the regular sports; - You have even gone yourself among the slums; - And feigned to be treating them as your chums, - Doing your levelest to put them under your thumbs, - And yet this evil does not seem to succumb; - Now what can we do but to stop trying, - And to our several good wives lying - About where we’ve been now and then. - You let this subject alone and stay at home - As much as you can for the good of man. - The more you talk and act wise, - The more you’ll advertise the thing to eyes - That see and ears that hear - When you think no eavesdropper is near. - - - - -Woman Suffrage - - - As my train of thought rumbled over the - Last topic it nearly tumbled; - And, metre, I see, was hard to gee: - But the subject next calling for my attention, - Has me so perplexed that I scarcely can mention - Even the little that I know and the facts show - About woman suffrage more than you already know. - Because I once rode with Phoebe Cousins - And have read suffrage pieces by dozens; - I’ve even heard Susan B. at the time that she - Her speeches did make our customs to break, - And yet, with all of that, little is under my hat, - To enlighten you or tell you where I’m at - Upon this subject great where women of late - Their rights to get are defying the state. - In Old Great Britt’n many of ’em are sitt’n - Starving in jails sooner than lower their sails. - But, considering it all, it looks to me, - That if you make your ballots universally free - To every living man who on top of earth walks - And to every single, solitary woman who talks - You wouldn’t help us much to get us out of the clutch - Of bad laws passed and the evil designing of such - As our liberties would take to--beat the Dutch. - - - - -Honesty - - - If in all your acquaintance, you know an honest man, - Produce him and introduce him to me if you can, - That I may get the likeness of his face - To emboss in gold for a model to the human race; - In my epic I’ll give him a prominent place. - Now, don’t get miffed at me, till my meaning you see - And my definition you fully understand of honesty. - I can find plenty of people anywhere - Who will not lie like a tiger in his lair, - Ready to pounce upon you, your neck to break, - Your horse to steal and your watch to take; - Who will not break into your house at night, - And commit burglary without any light; - Or in your pocket slip his slimy hands - To snake out your money where he stands; - Or who will not murder, rob and plunder - Or steal your child your roof from under; - Or who will not commit any of your crimes - And pay all that they owe, even to dimes - And contracts keep square within the lines; - And yet none of these come up you see, - To my idea of what true honesty must be. - Now an honest man will strictly follow facts - In every thing he thinks, believes, or acts; - When he knows the truth that will guide his way. - Where there are no winding paths for him to stray. - He will not suppress the evidence in a case, - Where some gain may come to him in his race - For gold, ambition, pride, or even grace. - Without uttering a word, the biggest lie ever heard, - May fly out with wings of the fleetest bird, - And in its wake its venom shake over our heads, - Bringing distress and grief its desolation sheds. - By simple look, wink, or nod of the head, - We give assent to whatever is said; - And in that way push falsehood straight ahead. - Nothing at all may be asked, no inquiry made, - Still we should tell about the horse we trade; - If any faults he have, ring bone, spavin joint, - Pole evil, swinny or any other weak point, - We should spit it out right away - And not wait for the other fellow to say. - If a house you have to sell where one must dwell, - Tell about the plumbing and everything as well, - That makes your house unsuited to him you’d sell. - If pastor of some orthodox church you may be; - And find things in the Bible that can’t agree - With reason and sense, don’t get upon your knee - And pray grace to help you see that two equals three. - Speak the truth, lose your job and stay free. - When you go upon the street and a stranger meet - Who seems to know you, don’t be so sweet, - And claim to know his face while you greet. - When dressed up in your only Sunday suit - That some one admires, don’t begin to hoot - That it is only your old every-day suit. - When asked a simple question you cannot answer - Don’t say that you’ve just forgot and be a romancer, - Come out with the truth, say you don’t know. - When inquiry is made as to what church you go, - If you don’t go to any, just say so; - Don’t pretend that you go to different ones - “You know.” - If you’re running a bank and get short on cash - Where to extend accommodation might cause a smash, - Don’t squint your goggled eyes and look wise, - And claim that you’re moving the crop, otherwise, - You’d be too glad to take a loan of that size. - When you are specially invited to play or sing, - And are pining to hear your own piano ring - Don’t say that you’re out of practice here of late, - When you’ve done nothing but practice for that date. - If some one cordially asks you to have a drink, - Don’t tell him that you, yourself, was on the brink - Of inviting him with you in a social glass to link. - When you have old clothes lying on the floor - That you are about to hand over to the poor, - Don’t pretend that you’ve them simply outgrown, - When in the rag-bag they’ve actually been thrown. - When some dear friend implores you for a ten - Don’t pull your coin case where money had been, - As if he didn’t know where your full bill book stayed, - In your hip pocket crammed, the bills nicely laid. - When in your swift automobile you ride, - Don’t ask any one to sit by your side, - Ride by yourself and flatter your pride, - That everybody’s observing how slick you glide. - When you get on your new spring hat and green cravat, - Don’t break your back trying to be so straight, - But let modesty all your demeanor regulate. - Don’t feel so grand, and swagger as you go - Forgetting to whom for those things you owe. - You are dishonest in the way you treat your wife; - You go to clubs and revel in high life; - You smoke, chew and drink to your full, - While she stays at home the baby buggy to pull. - You go outing and have a jolly time; - And, when you start out, you flip her a dime; - When you do hand out a ten her things to buy, - You pull it out slow and heave a deep sigh, - And before you leave you almost make her cry, - Saying so very much about hard times being nigh; - If you ever spend a dollar freely in your life - Let it be the dollar you deliver to your wife. - Sling it out and say, “Money grows on trees!” - If she wants more you’ll dash it to the breeze. - You don’t always tell your wife where you’ve been, - And I don’t advise you to, for I don’t begin - To tell mine all the places where I go - And the reasons for which I’ll never show. - You are dishonest in listing for your tax, - In giving in notes and bonds hid away in cracks; - And the value of your things you put so low - That when th’ assessor’s gone you don’t know - Where you’ll get your next meal, so poor you feel. - When you take your seat on the witness stool, - And swallow that solemn oath under the court rule, - The things that help your case, your lawyer told, - In your memory seem to stay with an iron hold; - But those circumstances that against you militate - Appear entirely faded off your memory plate. - A falsehood acted, spoken, thought or believed - Seems justifiable when the one by it deceived - Had no right to elicit the truth from you, - And with the matter in dispute had nothing to do; - But was merely intermeddling, taking in the view - Of people’s affairs to glut his curious mind - And get into trouble if the same he’d find. - Of all the animals on earth we find anywhere - Man’s the only dishonest one I do declare, - Unless the fox be called dishonest when to lead - The howling pack off his track, he runs at full speed, - And turns around and comes back over the same track - And then quickly darts off somewhere to hide, - While the hounds on the old straight track relied, - And bound ahead beyond where the fox turned back, - Thinking he’s gone on and thus lose the track. - This clever deceit is accomplished so neat, - By the sly little fox who is hard to beat. - You may take the meanest horse any day, - While munching away on his bale of hay, - And he’ll kick, bite, and run all the others away, - Until he gets his belly full, when he leaves - And lets the others eat the rest of the sheaves; - And doesn’t lock them up in a safety deposit box. - When a man’s wants are supplied, he locks - Up from all others the things he cannot use, - If he lived a thousand years his stomach to abuse. - Civilization made us dishonest, nature never did; - Deceit comes from cultivation and we’ll never rid - Ourselves from its blighting evils till we undo - Many of our laws and customs made and passed by you. - Man could be made honest in a very few years, - If he could be held respectable among his peers; - But if one of us should get honest all at once, - We’d be hauled up for being a dunce; - And, an inquisition had to ascertain whether we’re mad. - Our behavior would to others seem so queer, - That they would flee from us in bodily fear. - So we will have to let reformation work slow, - Until the full meaning of my epic you know. - - - - -Jim Saltenstall - -(A Digression.) - - - A certain man, stout and medium tall - Dwelt near us once, named Jim Saltenstall. - The most peculiar thing about this man, - Was not his name nor distended span. - A powerful limb was he of the law, - In which he exercised his massive jaw, - In justice courts if chance he saw, - To display his wit or pick a flaw, - In some contention neighbors hate, - Where he was ready and never too late, - To get a V for his windy prate. - A farm beside, where he did reside, - Claimed his skill and special pride. - He handled stock and rode his nag, - And had many things about which to brag. - In cows and swine his money he stuck - To raise for profit and keep him up. - The clothes he wore hung on him loose, - Except when he did faultlessly spruce - Before his friends and neighbors to strut - In court, to pull his client out of a rut. - He had one pair of extra sized pants, - Made by a cousin or one of his aunts, - Known all around by every girl and boy, - In his vicinity, made of brown corduroy. - This pair loose he’d usually wear - With no chance for the brush to tear. - One sultry afternoon in the middle of June, - A couple of spinsters riding along soon - Discovered on one side of the road - This pair of pants where it was “throwed.” - As they drew up close to the spot - Their nag whirled around in a trot; - The pants were moving and jumping about - These maids their wits scaring half out. - No James was by them seen at all, - But they knew the trousers of Saltenstall, - Who had hid in weeds with none on at all. - This mystery to them riding in the lane, - He never appeared and offered to explain. - Weeks passed by before they laid eye - Upon Saltenstall for whom they did spy, - This vision and its meaning to reveal. - They imagined they heard pigs squeal, - So by ifs and whats and twisting twigs, - They guessed the pants were full of pigs. - This story is true, and the riddle plain: - James found in his pasture near the lane, - That his favorite sow the stork had blessed, - With a litter of pigs, so he was distressed, - To contrive a scheme to take pigs to barn, - And have them housed and shielded from harm. - No sack had he in which to fetch the pigs, - So these pants were used with his rigs. - When on his shoulders his pigs he did load, - In plain view he saw the maids in the road. - They were coming straight ahead in full view, - So off his shoulders the whole thing he threw, - And took to the weeds to get out of view. - These ladies came along, all as we have said, - And found matters as stated under this head. - - - - -Science - - - We do not mean by the title above, - Christian Science, which so many love; - And, against which we have no thought to inveigh, - Because it is accomplishing some good in its day, - By teaching us to see that the power of the mind - Controls our bodies more than others find. - By science, we mean all knowledge gained - From whatever source it may be attained; - By inventions, laws, medicine, therapeutics, - Sociology, geology, astronomy, epizootics, - Geography, orthography, mentality, logics, - Government, devilment, war and fratricide; - And this list might be multiplied if we tried. - But of all those things we cannot make review. - For ages men did not know that the earth was round; - It was supposed to flat, and all the ground - Rested on the back of one man, whose picture is found - Still in old geographies, standing under his load, - With his feet upon the back of some large toad, - Or tortoise; and, that the sun was slipped clean - Back west to east, at night by us unseen, - In the chariot of the Sun-god with his team - Of steeds as swift as if they were run by steam. - These views by them held sacred were impressed - On others who even speculatively guessed, - That there might be error in the sacred book, - Or else those who read failed to look - Deep enough into lines between lines, - Where sometimes most information one finds. - Shaking off their fear, daring men began to peer, - Into the upper air with telescopes, far and near; - Until upon them dawned beyond escape, - By the picture on the moon and its shape, - That, book or no book, the world was a globe. - And, to fully prove it, they toiled and strove, - Till Columbus the Great, did daringly navigate - Far enough to see it and stop the debate. - That one hazardous stroke by this brave man - Struck the shackles from science and began - A new era, in which truth conquers belief, - And consecrated error dies to our relief. - The door now being thrown open wide, men pried, - And delved into nature with rapid stride. - By the light of astronomy as their guide, - It was discovered that those specks that shine - High up in the heavens at the night time - Are suns and worlds that in their orbits move - Around greater centers in distance so high - As not to be seen as when through glass we spy. - That all those moving worlds by one supreme law - Of gravitation yield their obedience in awe. - To the bottom of the sea men dived to find - The wrecks of ages there accumulated by time, - As old ocean waves roll over them its slime. - Into the strata of the rocks marking each age - As time passed written on them page by page, - The history of the earth before the historic age; - Men have dug up fossils for scholar and sage. - With silken thread, they drew lightning from the sky, - And harnessed it up our trade and commerce to ply. - By microscope and tools chemists use, - The varied elements have been made to fuse - Into numerous new substances by man used - In the varied arts to which existence imparts - The glories of the times from which we start. - The doctor, with his scalpel and his knife, - Discovers new means for preserving human life. - The inventor with his machines, human labor to supply, - To the plowman who plods on his weary way; - To the weaver who with his hands from day to day, - His cloth he did weave in the old-fashioned way. - The builder with his bricks of sand and clay - Once made with mud securely encased in hay - His stone, plaster, lumber, hardware and nails, - All made by machinery which little labor entails. - The merchant with his cargo laden in a ship, - Propelled by steam as over the deep they slip. - The baker with his ovens and pans, - Bakes and makes his bread without hands. - All these with telegraph and telephones supplied, - Carrying messages as over wires they slide, - With lightning speed, bringing to each his need, - Shortening time and obliterating space, - As each against the other runs his race, - For gains in the occupations they chase. - The grave lawyer sitting wise at his desk, - Dictating to stenographers things he may suggest, - About cases in court or making a report, - Of some opinion great in matters of weight - About all the business to which they relate - In the matters and things of those who wait - Their troubles to tell and business to state. - The iron horse on tracks of belted steel, - With throttle and valve, and whistle peal - Rolling over the land, propelled by steam, - Crossing mountain, valley and stream, - On tracks, rails and bridges of steel. - The flying machine shot up in mid air - Sailing over continents in feats they dare, - Rivaling the plumed eagle in his flight, - Or those swift birds that pass in a night, - From out their abodes beyond human sight. - The magic needle that points to the pole, - Guiding navigation on oceans untold; - And those brave adventurers seeking the pole, - Where the earth on its axis turns, - To find that for which their ambition burns: - Losing their crew in the cold, wintry snow, - Too weak from hunger, them to follow. - And onward, how far can the genius of man go? - With Edison, the wizard, putting on a show - Of actors, scenes and stage, singing as they go, - Talking and walking, dancing and playing airs - On every instrument that man’s skill prepares - All through a little machine, run by a wheel; - And electric apparatus he did conceal, - From watching eyes his invention might steal. - And, there’s Marconi, flashing across land and sea - His messages of glad tidings without wires on tree, - Or pole, and nothing to guide his machine, - So far as any one has yet seen. - If such men had appeared in the olden day, - Before Columbus had marked out the way, - They surely would have burned at the stake, - For witchcraft and all for conscience’ sake. - Yet with the strides men have made, - With sickle, sword, guns, knife and spade, - With piston, valve, gears, driver and wheel, - Driven by light, electricity, steam and heated steel, - Their thought flying upon the world to reveal - The acts and doings of nature and of man, - From ocean to ocean all over the broad land - And even over the wide extended seas we expand, - With telegraphic cables from land to land, - Bringing all the forces of nature at our command. - With it all, we have made a very little head - Ourselves to control, by designing leaders led. - Those simple rules, by which nature acts, - Might be applied to government its burden to relax, - And take from the shoulders of labor the fearful tax, - To support all the leaches now upon our backs. - - - - -Blew Inn - -(A Digression) - - - A sunny Sunday morning in May, - Aimlessly to woods did I stray. - Companions none, but longing to see - One in like plight, I chanced upon three; - The Masons two, wife and man, and one, - A lad in his teens, made up - A quartet with me to fill joy’s cup. - With lusty minnows in pail to its fill, - We took up rods and pail, reels and line, - And, in our barque sailed forth to find - Some less wary of the finny kind. - In vain did we tempt the fickle fish; - But at noon instead, with a dainty dish, - Of eggs partly spilled and ham and things - Fit for appetites toil and pleasure brings, - We dined and ate to the brim. - Two shy frogs sitting dreamily on logs - Became prey to us as if native bogs. - Fast flew the flushing day away; - A trolley call, and one and all did say; - Shine on old sol another day. - - - - -Courts and Laws - - - Next our courts and laws come in for review, - Not to gain applause, but my course to pursue. - Laws are rules as is taught in schools - To guide civil conduct into the right, - To redress wrongs and make us keep our plight. - Deeds of a certain kind are called crimes; - For the perpetration of which in historic times, - Men have sought to punish their course to stay, - Every one who does them in some kind of way. - By the power of the state men may collate, - All kinds of acts which by law they state - To be offenses for one them to perpetrate. - These acts in themselves, may be for our good - When understood, yet by the statute they would - Be crimes just the same, whether bad or good. - The original idea of punishment probably grew out - Of our natural impulse just to take a bout - With any fellow who ever did us any dirt - To see if him we could not also hurt - A little more, or just as much as to us he did; - Pull his tooth for our tooth, and his eye with the lid, - For our eye he did black simply to pay him back. - In a later day to give reasons for our laws - Which by the wise were sought, we had to pause, - So then we simply said, punish to stop crime. - Now suppose that I could show that in no time, - Did punishment ever even our crimes diminish, - Much less did it ever bring them to a finish. - Your eyes will open wide when I say to you; - The stopping of crimes punishment will never do. - Men will more chances take, your neck to break, - Your goods to steal, and your girls to snake - Off and defile, even if you are wide awake - Against the whole complicated machinery of the law, - Than they would by getting immediately into your claw; - When with weapons good, you certainly would - Make all respect your rights as you them understood. - The plan indicated above could not all at once - Be put into practice, for you’d be a dunce - To turn loose so many who had never had any - Training in the matter we set up as a crime. - The way for you to do is to drop one at a time - Of your statutory crimes punishable by fine, - Mostly passed to give jobs to a certain class - Of human vegetables who stalk about in brass. - That you may cautiously follow up the scale - In all its detail, and you’ll never fail - To accomplish good in giving people their rights - And in keeping them quiet and free from fights. - By the penitentiaries you keep and your jails - Where people sleep with vermin on rails; - Waiting for trial before jury and judge. - Weeks before they are allowed to budge, - Makes them have against you such a grudge; - That when they get loose, as they frequently do - They go at their old tricks with energy anew - To see how dastardly they can act in the crimes they do. - In your hatcheries of crime, the bunch you have to feed - Seems to be increasing with a gradual, steady speed. - The time may come when the gang in the walls, - May outnumber us when at their leader’s calls, - They might break out with a united band, - Overpower us, and devastate the land. - So that whatever you do, make your crimes few; - And those you do define, stand firmly to. - The more laws you have the more it’ll take - To handle all those who their behests break. - “Laws are a necessary evil” was truly said - By a great hero, now sleeping among the dead. - So the less of this evil upon ourselves we fix - The more good we can with our liberty mix. - Those progressives of you who make such ado - About our laws, and the courts in which you sue, - Want to fill our statutes all the way through - With every law and sumptuary regulation, - On every subject in the whole creation, - That, in their wrought up imagination, - They can conceive of to make litigation; - (Telling us that they comprehend the situation) - They’d put on the books without investigation. - You’d like to snake all this through, - Thinking that nobody is watching you; - But you had better try and hold yourself back; - We are watching you, and I am now on your track. - Now the courts are made the laws to enforce; - It is their job, and you and I of course, - Cannot dictate to them what laws to enforce. - To criticise the courts as the newspapers do - Might put us in contempt, the same as you - In some cases where you had to keep out of view; - Or run a lively race to keep yourself out of jail - By hanging on to some big lawyer’s coat-tail. - About your courts I will simply suggest - That whatever might be done I deem it best - Of the things we might do, get judges true, - Learned and wise, and who do not know you - Nor me, nor any of the folks that sue - Their cases in court before them; - The opinions they write with type or pen - Will be free from the bias of men then. - They will consider the laws, sort out the flaws - In each case, and every litigated cause; - So that the judgment they shall render - Making you your supposed rights surrender - Will be honest, no matter what we tender; - Although you practically sink by their blunder - Until in amazement you begin to wonder - Whether your lawyer really did plunder - Through all the books to get you from under - The load that is imposed when your case is closed - In the court of the judge you supposed - Had sense enough not to be bulldozed. - - - - -A Fable--Two Frogs - - - Two little frogs their legs began to turn, - Haply leaped and jumped into a churn. - The churn was filled about half full - Of milk from which we our butter pull. - One frog to his mate did say:-- - “We’re here to stay and can’t get away. - Now you may paddle and your head addle, - But I’ll bebobdaddle if I’ll saddle - On myself the task to get out of the flask, - I’m going to die, and no use to cry, - So good-bye,” and down he went dead. - The other made no reply, but paddled ahead - And paid no heed to what the first had said. - By and by a big chunk of butter came - And, upon the same froggie rode - Feeling the load off his mind throw’d. - In a short time there came a grunting swine - Walking slowly up out of his grime, - And shaking off his slime, rooted the churn over, - Letting little froggie jump in clover. - - - - -Socialism - - - Nearly all of the animals go in herds, - Fishes, mammals, bees, ants, and even birds. - The snakes are not so socially inclined; - They had rather with none combined, - Slip cautiously alone and snap from behind. - Man has always a social animal been, - To get his food and commit his sin. - He has always stood for organizations, - Municipalities, states and corporations, - Made to protect him against depredations. - Whenever new thoughts take form in his head, - He is sure to try to have others into them led, - By his talks and whatever by him is said. - Man has made laws and written them down, - Telling the good people all not frown; - That by their consent these laws are made: - “The consent of the governed,” - Is exactly what they said. - That is true as the law-makers by your vote, - Are elected your welfare to promote. - Laws are rules laid down for our control, - Pointing out paths where we may not stroll, - Marking the lines in which our rights are defined, - Commanding and forbidding the multifarious kind - Of the things we must do or leave behind. - Some laws are on natural justice based; - That might be speculatively traced - To the dealings of man in his beginning; - Starting out in the races he was winning - Over his ancestors, those animals called “low,” - He might have come upon one not so slow; - Who singly could not be brought down with a blow; - So with his likes he combined the swift one to get - For their food, and their appetites to whet. - Now when this animal combined they took, - The question was up, and not a law book, - By which to decide who should take the hide; - And into what and how many parts the rest to divide: - So they naturally counted the number of their gang, - While this juicy meat did before them hang; - And number parts equal to the number of them - Was equally cut off the beast from stern to stem: - The meat thus divided the hide could not - Be usefully carved up, so they gambled for it by lot: - In the hand of each a pebble to throw at a spot, - They took to try who closest to the mark got; - And the one it who did the nearest hit, - Took away the hide for his skill and grit. - The idea of justice thus received - Is about as good as has ever been achieved, - By reading all the books in every case - Where the law is defined for the human race. - Life might be likened to a game of chance - And the laws, the rules by which we advance - Our men upon the board or throw the lance: - When people together their business transact, - Follow the rules, and courts will solve the contract. - When our forefathers made this Republic of ours, - They established a constitution limiting the powers, - That the government itself could exercise - The best to preserve our liberty they could devise. - Even before this fundamental law they did make, - Which of necessity did part of our liberty take, - They prefaced all our laws for me and you - With certain inalienable rights kept in view: - “That all men were created equal,” they knew; - “That life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness,” - Were set out in plain view, our land to bless. - Now every law since that date passed by the state, - To that extent our liberties infringe, even though we scringe; - And feel the distress, without redress, - Of many iniquitous acts, even by Congress. - If men were actually well-behaved, - Much useless trouble and expense could be saved: - Laws being hobbies our liberties to restrain; - Some barely holding us, even with tight rein. - The socialist man, if I do not mistake, - Would all restraint from our law makers take, - So that the state might feed and regulate - All the peoples who come within its gate, - And all others’ properties appropriate, - To the general good as by them understood. - The titles to your lands and everything good - That on them stands, they would concentrate - Into public hands whom they would nominate. - The labor and the work, the leaders would shirk, - Would be done by some one or his clerk. - So that we all would have a good time, - In our day, should we adopt their line. - “Every man has a right to work and eat”; - And such clap trap of verbiage we meet, - On every hand as we go over our land. - They jabber, but their sense I can’t see. - How can this come in the land of the free? - They produce arguments hoary with age, - Used by many a high-class sage, - That the ownership of property--especially land, - Never had a foundation on which it could stand. - That the whole idea was a fiction once, - And not to see it now one is a dunce. - That all your vested rights on paper, - Are unsound, no matter what caper - Folks may cut their supposed rights to hold, - With all their power and hoarded gold. - If they can unite the working man on their side, - They hope into power to gloriously slide. - The men who labor with their hands have all - United into bands. - Feeling that the little work there is to do - Must pay the most to the ones who pursue - Trades of all kinds and of every hue. - That the work for men to do with hands - Is constant, regardless of supply and demands; - Never once observing that the cost - Of production many jobs them have lost. - So even if they do get more out of that they do; - The valuable time lost in the trades they pursue, - Will more than compensate for th’ advanced rate - They obtain from the fewer jobs that remain. - Why it does not occur to them while they dream - What a big world this is with all its demesne, - Is a matter beyond explanation by what I ween. - That work is not confined on this big earth, - But spreads out to give us all a wide berth. - Against trusts and monied corporations, - Men in their stations might form associations - Their rights to demand and their wrongs to reduce, - But against th’ individual there is no excuse, - Why unions upon him should heap their abuse. - If one build a house to cover up his head, - Why should union labor try to kill him dead, - By making the cost so high that none can buy, - Houses building now far and nigh. - But all these perplexing questions are upon us; - And the merits and demerits we must discuss, - If practical socialism must come, - We must face it, each and every one. - By the brotherhood of man, maybe we can - Find a way to harmonize every tribe and clan - And save this civilization for the good of man. - - - - -The Public - - - My subject here is simply a term to express - “A somewhat,” the nature of which is a guess. - Of the substance contained in the above term, - It seems almost impossible for one to learn, - No image of it in his mind can he conceive, - Reflects the intelligence he’d wish to receive. - What the public looks like or is, - Is more than you can tell or wis. - According to some it’s “ideas in th’ abstract.” - So let us take that for the real fact. - The public does not seem to be you or I - Or anybody else--I’ll tell you why; - Whoever or whatever the thing may be, - He, she, or it shoulders blame for you and me, - For wickedness done in his dear name, - And credit for intended good, the same, - In very many cases that men declaim. - If a bunch of grafters wish to float a deal, - Say in baking powder, wheat, or oat meal; - First the public pulse they scientifically feel, - To discover signs of fever germs in foods, - We’ve been eating, and such other goods - Of the same kinds we’ve bought all our lives, - And from which others are supporting wives, - And children as they’ve done all their lives. - Of course their doctor this pulse carefully felt, - And discovered that germ tracks were smelt - In most of the stuff we put in our pelt. - He discovered too that alum would - Dry up the diaphragm if used in food. - Also that certain foods contained sand, - That might get into the public craw, and - Brace them up too much to patriotically vote - For such a pure food law as they’d like to float. - So after their analysis was properly wrote, - They get their pure food law nicely framed up - To suit their scheme and for the people to gulp. - Then their bugle horns they did blare, - And it carried before we were aware. - - - - -Physicians - - - In olden times, doctors and barbers were the same, - As we find in books from which we always gain - Information on all such historic matter. - As bleeding was the thing then to batter - Out diseases the striped pole must be - An emblematic relic of the blood running free - Down and around our hip, thigh and knee. - But the two trades have been now long separated; - And while neither should be underestimated - And both receive their due from me and you, - The barbers’ trade is not really and truly due - As much criticism as is the medicine crew. - There are plenty of fine physicians and surgeons, - Who receive their praise from us in legions; - But the “money-rosis” has struck the doctors - As other trades, including divorce proctors. - I well remember in the days long past, - Pulse felt, and a look at the color the tongue cast, - When the doctor was done, and no more was asked. - He said it was simply chills and fever he did believe, - Which a good dose of calomel or blue mass would relieve, - All of which the patient did then and there receive. - You might have had a slight pain in your head, - And you were advised to lie still in bed. - Now call a doctor your wife to see, - And while you sent for only one to fee, - Two or three more and sometimes a score, - To handle the different parts of the sore, - Come in and watch around your door; - Especially if you’ve got money, and get more. - If you fall and bruise your knee or elbow - A specialist must come to whom they show - Some of the dirt from the place around, - To ascertain if any microbes are found. - If a cough or cold comes in your head, - A sample or two of the sputum that you shed, - Is sealed up and sent away to be analyzed. - They always find ’em, so don’t be surprised. - And if plenty of money you can get - To pay all this cost and never sweat, - When your bills at home are all paid, - You’ll be then sent off on dress parade. - Doctors never come now and find you well; - Your ailments have names you cannot spell. - And when you ask what you’re about to take - The awful malady you have to try to shake - To pronounce its name your jawbone’ll break. - As simple a dose as soda and rain water - At the drug store will cost you a quarter. - All diseases now come straight from bacilli - Seen through those microscopes they buy. - Let these germs once your systems fill - You just as well not make your will, - It’ll take the farm to pay your doctor bill, - All diseases have now become contagious. - And their catching qualities outrageous. - When you walk do not spit on the street, - Lest your saliva infect those you meet. - No trains are allowed to have a drinking cup - In which others drink, lest you swallow up - The other fellow’s germs sticking to the glass - Of the family of microbes in the tubercular class. - No comb or brush is found to smooth your hair, - They’re prohibited and blacklisted everywhere. - All your water must be thoroughly boiled - And its palatable flavor entirely spoiled, - To slay the ferocious germs in it coiled. - And even the milk from your fat Jersey cow - Should be pasteurized as never before till now. - We might run down the whole category - Till you were tired, and I get hoary, - But these very things are the doctor’s glory. - Of course they are trying to lengthen life’s span, - And I’m not going to censure them if I can, - Only caution them to be easy as they can. - They don’t catch me often, my father was a physician, - And before he died, he made it his mission - To post me and make me wise on this score. - I have sometimes felt peevish and sore - Because father was too honest to lay up a store - For me to spend when I life began; - My father was above all an honest man. - Once my wife took pneumonic cough - And we for a doctor sent right off. - He came and found genuine bacilli. - Scared me, and made the wife almost cry. - They analyzed, criticised and diagnosed - And sent her away, with my house closed; - And for nights I scarcely dozed. - They gave her just six months of life - Before consumption would part me and my wife. - My plucky woman partly believed what they said, - And moped around a while and stayed in bed. - I had some doubts about what the specialists said, - And relied a little on what an old friend read, - Who had much practical experience, she said. - Of course my doubts about science I hate to tell, - But in a few weeks the wife was entirely well. - If the doctor wants to, let him tell - Why into the aforesaid mistake he fell. - Now you had all better beware and treat us fair, - If you have doubts about what our troubles are - Just do your best, and let nature do the rest. - - - - -Theologians - - - For the preacher’s trade one should have a call, - As has been said concerning the apostle Paul; - Who with power armed with writs to haul - Before magistrates Christians one and all, - And lodge them in jails subject to call - To be prosecuted in the name of the state - For sayings of Christ they did relate. - “Why persecutest thou me?” the Master said; - Then Saul, afterwards Paul, fell as one dead. - When he came to be had a call to preach, - So he went forth all nations to teach. - Not many of you preachers ever had a call, - Nor down as dead did any of you ever fall. - Most of you took to preaching to have something to do, - Although the picking is getting short for some of you, - If the newspaper accounts I’m reading be true. - When the lawyer’s job in the country gets short, - He adds insurance, abstracts, and things of that sort; - But when the preacher’s picking isn’t very good - He’d have ice-cream suppers whenever he could; - Or even quiltings and sewing society aid, - Eked out with dinners and sale of lemonade. - I notice now you’re going to take course - In farming to teach the brethren of the rural force; - But I’m afraid that if you begin shoot’n off your head - To some of those old rustics to help earn your bread, - You might get a set’n back worse than Old Ned, - Or even than Saul got when he fell as dead. - Farmers have ideas of their own they’ve tried; - And wouldn’t listen to the pastor or turn aside, - For his book learning he had himself supplied - While off at college that had never been tried. - You might do better holding to the plow, - While your brother farmer was milking his cow, - Feeding his stock and chopping his wood, - And in that way would do him more good. - But the best way for all is to wait for this call. - And don’t be in a hurry to be preachers at all. - If you wait a real call to actually hear, - You’ll be working soon and will not have to fear, - Without any other call than nature gives - To every animal that on earth now lives; - To be up and doing his fellow man to bless, - Which while doing you’ll keep from distress. - - - - -Lawyers - - - To attorneys, advocates, and counsellors all, - I’m not afraid to speak to you about your call; - Not afraid to give advice, I’m one of you, - You may heed, or I don’t care what you do. - You give advice and charge for the same; - Mine I freely give, and you get the gain. - When you get free what to others you sell, - You’ve something to brag about and tell. - I like you, you bunch of jolly good fellows, - Though you sometimes lunch like Col. Sellers. - And your Sunday suit gets so slick, - That a fly cannot walk on it and stick. - You too are letting people into your trade. - Deeds and legal papers are so easily made, - By real estate agents filling out blanks - Those you write are paid for in thanks. - You sit in your office with high-propped feet, - Longing for a friend to invite you out to eat, - Or waiting for a client to bring around a fee. - Sometimes you read or skip around in glee, - To make the impression that your mind is free; - And that you have plenty of work to do; - And never for a moment take a solemn view - Of how fast business is flying away from you. - Some of you are learning on a motor cycle to ride, - So when an accident occurs you are by the side - Of the injured one to get a damage suit - Against the company whose coffers you’d loot. - Some of you join the gang and get in politics, - To get some legal job they may help you fix. - One of you stirs up strife against divorce, - And gets to be proctor on the welfare force, - And gets a small salary as a matter of course. - Some get to be orators public affairs to discuss. - And get the press over you to make a fuss; - In that way you advertise your brains good - To swing a big case and get a livelihood. - Some join with unions to fight against the trusts, - Others against the unions sling their deadly thrusts. - Thus in battle array, some right and some wrong, - We manage in some way to push ourselves along. - The race of the old-time lawyers is nearly extinct - To whose memory my fond thoughts are linked. - I know a few whose names I’ll not give to you - Owing to my plan I intend to follow through, - Not to give names unless to represent a crew. - You know some yourself not in the law for pelf; - I’m one myself if into my record you care to look, - If I hadn’t been I need not have written a book - To make a little stake to put away for a rainy day. - Lawyers are not dishonest, no matter what you say, - Except when they serve you to get their pay. - They have to be deceiving to keep up with you: - You will not take your case you wish to sue - To some attorney who could not stand for you. - You know the attorney stands in your place, - And to an honest one you dare not show your face. - I’ve known lawyers who courted the name of crook, - Merely to catch grafters on their own hook. - You know well when you are sued that you choose - An attorney who will by any ruse, you excuse - To the jury who tried your case for the deeds, - You did, and you know you did not get your meeds. - So shut up your mouth and hie yourself home; - The subject of judges and lawyers leave alone. - Lawyers have always been pillars of the state - To uphold our institutions you’d annihilate. - Their trade is not alone on paper made; - It comes from growth by development’s aid. - It’s the garnered experience of all the ages, - Written in books upon numberless pages. - It has stood when empires fell, - When to the despots they did loudly tell - Of justice upon him the law’d compel; - It has stood against strife, slaughter and blood, - When other trades and institutions never could; - It rises in the right, iniquity to fight, - To protect the weak against men of might, - Over widows and orphans its protecting arm - Is extended to save the mortgaged farm; - It shields the criminal against the crazy mob - Giving him a trial of which they’d him rob. - For peace and order and justice in the land - Let us ever as true lawyers stand. - - - - -Names - - - By the use of names we designate - Some particular thing, person or state. - The naming of animals in the first place, - Was put upon Adam as father of the race. - This job imposed upon him no great task, - Because no one’s permission he had to ask, - Whether the name suited mule or cow, - Or the name horse he might to kid allow. - Now the names of animals who came - Before him in a long-extended train, - They had to take those which for them he did book - Because they did not have a list over which to look. - All proper names men can find, - Have been so often used by men of their kind, - That when a child is about to be born, - Into the world, the name it shall adorn - Has to be taken from the long list - Of those gone before, or who still persist. - Although we have quite a long catalogue, - We still have to search and our memory jog - To ascertain the character of the ones - Who bore the name about to be given to our sons; - Because any name may have been soiled - By its owner around whom might be coiled - The evidence of some offense the name to suffuse - Before the time we it did choose. - The likes and dislikes for names we take, - Come mostly from the character of the namesake. - A lot of names might be brought to view: - Like Jennie, Sallie, Mollie, Kate and Sue; - Or Perkins, Phelps, Pickering, and Penn, - And a whole book full of names for women and men. - The others need not here be enrolled, - In this little volume, or by me polled. - The things that did once make names great - Generally were acts done for the state, - Mostly in war, e. g., Alexander the Great, - Or Caesar, or even Napoleon the Sedate. - Sometimes names receive much eclat - At home, as well as near and far, - Like Washington, or our Jefferson, - And also Cleveland and Lincoln, - By statesmanship with head and brain - For the public good when peace did reign. - There used to be a time, now almost past, - When patriotism was then in full blast, - That men would sometimes almost actually do things - With no other pay than the consolation it brings, - Simply to be esteemed just, good and true, - With no other motive than to bless me and you. - But now of late men look upon the state - Simply as a fat goose for them down, - As o’er them her wings may spread around, - To hover and her blessings bring down. - The offices men fill to uphold the law, - Or collect our revenues to fat their maw - Are held mostly by ones we did not choose, - Who with politicians by some sharp ruse - Got nominated and elected against our views; - And when elected frame up bills - For legislation that their own pocket fills, - Regardless of the trouble and all the ills, - That fall upon the public that foots the bills. - New bureaus are made about everything - To which a gang of leaches can cling; - With their matrons, clerks and superintendents, - All hangers-on and their bunch of dependents, - Disgracing all over our broad land, - On every hand, the very name of man: - I fear that our present civilization cannot stand, - To live down the iniquity by them thus began. - The euphonious name of Guggenheimer, - Sipniski, Schradski, or even Joe Reimer, - Now is fine if their amounts in bank, - Stood their drafts and never shrank - Below the balance they had on hand - With the banks throughout the land. - A good name is appraised above riches, - But to keep that good to which one hitches, - When anyone can claim any name he likes - And ruin it forever, when off he hikes - To Canada or Old Mexico to get away - From the crimes he did in his day; - Making the name disgraceful he wears, - And none of the same name spares - From sharing the shame brought on the name, - To us, innocent and free from blame, - Except for the acts he did against our name. - Ambition leads us to attempt undying fame, - That after we are dead and in our grave - Our name shall live that we did engrave - Among the world’s heroes on every page - Of history that dies not with old age. - But everything to make us famous or great - Has been by someone, somewhere in every state - Of civilization accomplished and achieved, - So no chance is left for us, though grieved. - So let us not try to make our names great; - But instead, unite to rescue our own state, - From the clutches of the vultures at its heart; - And if we succeed at that, when we depart, - Those left behind will bear us in mind, - And write our names in the highest place they find. - - - - -Universal Peace - - - In all the past the records are full of war; - Men had one desire to be in a continual jar; - Or else the peaceful victories they did win - Were not such as they wrote therein. - Each nation, tribe, and men of ancient race - For each other had nothing but hatred and menace. - Upon the boundaries and rights of each, - The other did recklessly go to reach, - With rapine and murder in their hearts, - To snatch from each other all such parts - Of their lands, and their goods to confiscate, - As could be done by the hordes they did aggregate. - Their warriors and men to subjugate, - Their women and fair maids to subject - To brutality, and any other object - As they chose upon them to impose. - There were only two kinds in those times - Of peoples on earth, those in their own confines, - And barbarians who dwelt anywhere else, - Regardless of who they were, Goths, Huns or Celts. - No tie of sympathy was known or recognized, - Between those different tribes; - Each for the other was lawful prize. - Robbery, theft, and murder were terms, - Applied to deeds committed at home; - These same acts out where they did roam, - Were designated bravery and prowess, - When upon barbarians they did egress, - With battle-axe, darts, helmet and shield, - Bent on the slaughter of their fellow man; - For conquest and glory, they led the van; - Over mountains filled with perpetual snow, - Into heated valleys where the sun did glow; - They fought for pride, religion and show; - As upon crowned heads they wore - Laurels of victory for blood and gore. - But now has dawned a better day; - From ocean to ocean where men survey - Their lands and the boundaries fix - Where rights of each the line restricts; - And treaties with one nation is made - With others to settle their commerce and trade. - They bring across oceans in merchant marine, - Luxuries of life now by us all seen, - Grown and shipped from the uttermost lands, - Divided from us by seas, deserts and sands. - Those natural laws we are learning to use, - Based upon justice according to the views - Of publicists and statesmen applied - To nations dealing with nations the world wide. - Now the crude implements of death once used - By ancients, are thrown aside and refused. - In place of triremes propelled by oars, - Steel-clad battleships ride by scores, - Manned with guns throwing missiles miles; - Around our coasts and adjacent isles; - Our barricades and our battlements, - Our field glasses and our armaments; - Our powder in guns and in mines, - With deadly explosives of all kinds, - Making killing a thing of skill - Upon the thousands our inventions kill, - All are bringing war to a standstill. - No longer do we hand to hand in war engage; - Foes rushing foes with eyes in a rage; - Instead, the scientific gunner his aim to gauge, - Miles away, his gun adjusting to suit, - Deals death to thousands, wherever he may shoot; - With no malice in his heart, by electric touch, - Some mine is exploded, killing and destroying as much - In a single blow, as was done in a day the old way; - And in all the soldiers are out of the fray. - Why should we slaughter and fellow men slay, - In this unimpassioned, calculating, scientific way? - If such things, done by the whole nation, - Were done by one, it’d be murder in our estimation. - Inventions and knowledge lead towards peace; - And the frequency of war decrease; - The more we know of our fellowman. - The less we like to cut off his span. - So let the dove of peace hover over the globe, - And in humanity’s cause we ourselves enrobe; - Till from war and all its sickening pall, - We advance, and universal peace install; - And we may, unless we get up a protocol, - Over which we may fight to see who is right, - In the interpretation thereof withal. - - - - -Music - - - About the subject of music what can I say? - That mystical combination we sing and play? - The origin of which none seem to know; - For as far back into the past as we can go, - From the time that Circe and her maids, - In their lonely isle of forests and glades, - Their magic spells, in song, upon the sailor wrought, - With all his crew, to their abode they brought, - To change them to swine from the forms of men; - Until wise Ulysses, by some godlike ken, - Undid the deed done his men confined in a pen; - Or when Orpheus with his lyre in his hand, - Held his sway through th’ enchanted land. - So ’twould be a waste of valuable time, - The history and origin of music to put into rhyme. - It seems that it has long over us held sway; - Back from the long ago to the present day. - But in all times before this day of ours, - When men have harnessed th’ unseen powers: - It did take the skill of finger tips - Or the trill of throat and puckered lips, - To wake from vibrations thereby made, - The thrilling chant and sweet serenade. - But now with pricking pins of steel, - Those same vibrations come from turn of wheel, - When in dents lightly made on a disc, - Which around and around we playfully whisk; - The pin points strike in and then out, - As the thing is whirled about; - And, by magnifying the scratching it makes - The picture of the whole sound action it takes; - And reproduces the vibrations on our ear, - Of an opera or any piece we wish to hear. - By the numerous machines by inventors made, - The sweet music once by human skill played, - Has passed into commerce of daily trade. - For a few dollars one can buy, - A music maker if he will but try. - Although the music thus made is not the real thing; - Yet instruments are designed that give it the ring. - True music that really stirs the hearts of men - That comes from the masters with the pen, - Must be by human skill played, - As ever behind its dress parade, - Stands the soul of the master, flowing with the sound, - As it comes to our ears in tones profound, - Or tintinnabulations of drum or fife, - Calling us to war and its deadly strife; - Or those mysterious strains of the violin, - In the hands of the artist held in, - By his neck, hands, shoulders and chin - So none can tell where he stops for fiddle to begin; - Both moving together in such perfect time - As we sit in rapture, listening to the chime. - Will ever the sense of music in man, - Having remained since history began, - Be obliterated in time to come; - And his taste for sounds become numb, - By the strain on him these machines make, - Hounding him by their grating sleep or wake, - By the screeching buzzes they make; - With our songs all ground up into rag, - Even the stirring ones of the glorious flag, - And those sedate hymns sang in church - Which ragtime has sought to besmirch. - But of all of this let us not complain, - Even if we lose our desire for the grand refrain; - Maybe some time the genius of the great, - Will some better sense create, - For its loss fully to compensate. - - - - -Painting and Art - - - When I think over the subject of painting and art - Nothing occurs new that to you I can impart - Which might bring reformation in the way - These subjects could be treated in our day. - The men of ancient times, with keen vision, - Bent over canvas and marble with a precision - Not equalled or surpassed, marking lines of light - And shades, bringing life and nature into full sight, - Throwing upon cloth the earth and beclouded sky. - With its valleys green and mountains high, - Divided into parts with ever-widening and winding streams, - Their shores lined with foliage green and rocks in seams; - And scraggy trees, as through them the moonbeams - Throw their mild and mellow light in shimmering sheen; - And fading lines of landscape merging into sky, - With its diversified colors upon our watching eye; - And from the dead, cold marble stand out - The forms of women and men showing their features and clout, - Bringing out every expression of muscle and face, - Revealing the thoughts and passions in lines they trace - Of all the joys of life and the agonizing look, - Even to portraying the dying groan one undertook. - To show up nature is the whole object of art; - To make the scenes natural and life impart. - Now our skill in inventions throwing light, - We absolutely copy nature and bring it out right. - Men with their skill and labor bringing out a view, - With tinsel and touch to give it the correct hue, - Cannot come up to daguerreotype or kodak - In throwing out the front or showing up the back. - Thus onward our wheels of progress are rolling, - Crushing out the heart of Genius strolling - Over lands vying, with his puny hands, - With forces of nature invention commands. - We should pause sometimes in our rapid flight, - Long enough to reflect on the dangers that might - Wreck our civilization; children would their lives destroy - Were they allowed to handle guns as a toy; - So with man in his audacious daring - Handling these forces recklessly, caring - Little for those who are smashed beneath their grinding, - As the end to the glories of art they are finding. - - - - -My Fiddle - - - When my years numbered less than ten, - I stayed with an uncle and aunt now and then, - Who lived a few miles from our own door. - Now when I think of those days of yore, - When I lingered around the cabin door, - In rapture listening to the violin, - Held under our old black man’s chin; - And its melody did my young heart win, - Recollection goes back to my violin. - This old fiddle came to me in a trade, - That I with our work-hand made; - And I learned to play for the serenade. - I rosined my bow and handled it too, - And loved this fiddle the whole day through. - I played it nights before I went to sleep; - Rolled it in flannel its tone to keep; - Put it in the box which I did make; - And took it out mornings soon as I’d wake. - My aunt, who lived at the house where I went, - With whom I stayed and many hours spent - Was of the old school in the ideas she had; - The most things I thought good she deemed bad. - A deck of cards would have made her collapse; - And for amusements now offered chaps, - They’d been abomination in her very sight; - The fiddle she thought her soul would blight. - And even the box it was carried in, - Was contaminated with the ghost of the violin. - This vile thing was played for the dance, - And that made it the horror of my aunt’s. - Of all this I was then in ignorant bliss. - So feeling good, I did not want to miss - The chance to show my aunt how I did play - On my fine instrument with much display. - So carefully boxing it up, I took it to stay - At the home of my aunt, to whom I’d show - My performance with the fiddle and bow. - When I arrived she greeted me before she did see, - What was under the seat in the buggy with me. - When I pulled it out I plainly saw - A cloud come over her as she stood in awe. - She did not at that time speak her full mind - But in memory lingering now I find - She said to herself something or other - To the effect that my father and mother, - Who were her sister, and in law her brother, - Didn’t have the same care for their child, - As she did for hers, or else how could they defile - A little boy like me with such a tool of evil - Specially devoted to sin and the service of the devil. - I took my poor fiddle and lugged it to my room, - Where I did not string it up so very soon. - But on one rainy day I took it out to play - Strains of old hymns that in my memory lay. - The thunder’s crash and the lightning’s play - Could not from my aunt keep away - The penetrating sound my violin bore, - Only a moment and she was at my door. - I saw in horror my aunt stand before, - With uplifted hands as her eyes bore, - Riveting me in silence to the floor. - The anger, pity, grief, fear and pain - In her face made upon me its lasting stain. - In words not spoken as much as shrieked, - She revealed why her face was streaked - With the lines I saw when she appeared: - “Put that horrid thing away,” she whispered; - “Put it in the back closet and lock the door.” - She insisted: “Hide it quick, I implore; - The Lord in his wrath will blow the house o’er! - Don’t you know better than to tempt God in that way, - While the lightning and thunder His power display?” - I admit that I did not know, but in my heart, - Then tender in years, was lodged a dart - It took years to remove; even now when I start - Upon my new violin some music to play - I wonder sometimes if in some mysterious way - There is not lurking in it some demon still, - Its tones and notes sound so awfully shrill. - I would not for a single moment profane - The memory of my dear aunt I still retain, - Nor at her sincere beliefs cast one single slur. - I write here what did actually occur. - A coolness between me and the fiddle I love - Sprang up from the incident related above, - That lasted all the days of my youth - When I might have learned the violin in truth; - That instrument none can ever master, - Who does not cling to it in every disaster. - - - - -Scientific Ethics - - - Having now had with you our several quarrels - We advance our lance to the subject of morals. - Ethics is a theme from which I can glean - Some substantial hopes for a better day; - When, with our prejudices all put away, - We shall all learn to act and think the things, - Which keep in view the good life to us brings. - While this subject is as plain as a b c - The same for some reason you fail to see. - Morals are the manners and customs one adopts - For himself in private life, while he hops, - Or walks and talks with his fellow men. - Good morals are good habits and bad, bad. - Habits are easily made, and when once had, - They are hard to break for anybody’s sake. - The “stream of thought” seems the road to take, - Where it once had run anywhere under the sun. - Morals are the acts of which life is composed - That we have upon ourselves imposed. - This definition was made by Immanuel Kant, - But as it is self evident, he needn’t want, - All the credit to claim if I use the same. - Laws cause you do as others compel you; - Ethics cause you to do what you like to. - There are only two things that push us along. - Think about it till you rack your brains, - And you’ll find them always pleasures and pains. - Some even take pleasure in their sorrow and grief; - And you’d not be thanked for offering a relief; - Nor for producing a balm to heal their wounds, - From which they suffered, regardless of their grounds. - Men, of their humility have been so proud; - That lugubriously, they’d stand up in any crowd; - Or with their heads bowed and on bended knees, - With the pride of their humbleness you they’d freeze. - The pleasures we desire and the pains we shun, - Were our only motives since the world begun. - Now keep this in mind as its use you’ll find, - As we treat of ethics and its motives behind. - “Self-imposed precepts” are not the moral code, - Prevalent in places where men their guns load, - To meet a fellow man in the public road, - To try out the question with bullets of lead, - On the field of honor, till one or both are dead; - Nor is it the legal code enacted by man, - Making rules against things under ban. - Morals deal with acts men actually intend, - Those motions adapted to some end. - “The wild gesticulations of a lunatic,” - Or of a crazy man who automatically throws a brick, - Bear no relation to the discussion of ethics. - The standards of morals take their hue - From the aims of life men hold in view. - The pessimist says life’s a failure entire, - So to meet the demands his views require, - A scheme of acts adapted to shortening life - To get this set soonest out of the strife, - And all the sad and tragic things, - The whole of existence to them brings, - Would be the highest standard of acts, - Which in goodness one for them enacts. - The optimist takes a very different view, - Life’s a pleasure while he its joys pursue. - For him a general life suited to make, - Life long, broad and deep for his sake, - Would be a good banner at him to shake. - So we say, bad morals are bad, and good, good. - The reason the subject by you is not understood, - Is, that while you must surely know, - You constantly misapply to ethics one word as you go. - The meaning of this word if you don’t get, - Is from stupidity, for you never yet - Went into a store anything to buy or even try, - But a practical demonstration was before your eye. - The first thing you ask about a razor or knife, - Is this, “Is it good?” and the clerk doesn’t cry, - “What do you mean!” if he wants you to buy. - He politely answers, “Both these tools cut good, - As they are warranted, one whiskers, and one wood, - And both of them do their part very good.” - If one of you farmers wished to acquire a cow, - You wouldn’t ask whether she could make a bow; - You would enquire how much milk she gave, - And how much butter, and could she save - You some expense in the way she’d behave. - If such questions had all been left out, - And the seller had known what he was about, - He’d said, “She’s good,” and everything’s understood. - If a female reader went to buy a new spring hat, - And the thing was in style, you would close your chat. - If it was in style, it’s good, every fool knows that, - The bargain’s made and the hat charged to pap. - The same thing is true of skirts and hoops, - Of dogs and cats, and chickens in coops; - You can’t look about or run around, - Without understanding this word always so profound, - And mysterious when applied to my theme; - With yawning face you almost dream, - And look confused when I try to tell what I mean. - You never ask about any of the things I’ve spoke, - Whether they say their prayers and never joke, - To speak of such, you at me your fun poke. - Now we’ll see whether you are sensible folk, - When you try to shed your customary cloak - Of prejudice and mysticism you croak, - Every time you try sense to ethics to apply. - Common sense teaches us there is no reason why, - The definition will not fit conduct every whit, - As it did other things about which I’ve writ. - Conduct is good if its ends come through, - And its natural results are good for me and you. - I take the optimist’s view, life’s a blessing, - And when to you my words I’m addressing, - Say whether I’m right in possessing, - The notion that acts are morally right and good, - That contribute to life as above understood. - In its thickness, breadth and length, all those things, - Which happiness achieve, diminishing man’s stings. - Before us examples have been set by teachers, - By Immanuel Kant better than preachers; - That each one of our actions should lofty be, - That each would be a model for a code of morality. - This form of hedonism I would gladly place - Before the eyes of the whole human race. - Asceticism is a term derived from the Greek, - Applied to monks, signifying the exercises they seek, - By which they distinguish themselves in that they do, - For favor with the deity in the lines they pursue, - Away from their fellow man as much as they can. - Virtue is a term originally meaning prowess, - And as applied to bravery they did possess; - It aroused the ancients to courage in distress. - When the Old Bard sang “the wrath - Of Peleus’ son against those in his path; - When his armies did advance with spear and lance, - Against the Trojans against whom he did advance; - Or of him sulking in his tent, nursing his spleen - Against tall Agamemnon for acts in being mean - Towards him in regard to a captive maid - Upon whom he had his affections laid.” - And all the bloody deeds done by gods and men, - Breathing anger from their nostrils when - Upon each other their darts they did hurl, - And in the dust many bleeding bodies did curl; - As these savage men struggled for their prize; - To their gods whole hecatombs did they sacrifice - Of poor dumb brutes that could not sympathize - With them in their bloody wars and heroic cries. - Out of virtue as thus defined did arise - Asceticism and all the horrid tortures it did devise. - Even now men are so wedded to their inspired books - And things written in them by ancients where one looks - To find every act for you and me so well defined - That they claim that all experience combined, - Cannot those precepts change to suit the age; - Although we point out inconsistency on every page. - They even allege that what by their book is said, - Makes things good or bad under each particular head. - That even as simple a thing as theft, - If out of their book the subject were left, - There would be nothing in our practical observation - To distinguish whether or not stealing was a proper avocation. - Whatever of man’s moral nature the origin may be, - Whether he was created with a certain propensity, - Or whether our tendencies are a matter of growth; - One thing is certain, and needs not any oath, - To prove that our several tastes may be improved, - To treat our fellow man as it him behoved; - And toward ourselves the truer to be, - Until our standards and the right did agree. - If all the acts that you and I must do, - Were written into mandates constantly held in view, - And we should follow them all the way through, - We still would be nothing but very slaves, - Marching under orders of some specially wise knaves. - Now if one in what he does, lives to the very top, - Of his own ideals, him we cannot stop, - Until for him his ideas we raise; he is up to full speed, - For the requirements of all are not if the same meed. - Most of man’s motions should be left to his whims, - Whether he rides or walks, or even swims. - Moral conduct being by each self imposed, - The acts men do will naturally be disclosed, - In the things they like in the tastes disclosed. - When the acts of men are ruled by laws enacted, - From the category of ethics they are subtracted. - No human motions should be forced or restrained, - Unless the welfare of others is to be attained. - In some general sense, everything I do, - To a limited extent, has its natural effect on you. - By two meeting in the road, one of us must turn, - To let the other pass or his rig might overturn. - By breathing the air some oxygen I must consume, - Also infecting what remains by what I exhume. - When in the market I buy my daily supplies, - That alone has a tendency to make the price rise; - So that you have to pay more for your store. - Thus in many and varied ways our motions bear - Some natural disadvantages we should all share, - In our relations each with each as we live everywhere. - Any physical fact, however simple it may look, - May change aspect by the turns it took, - Showing how the morality of any motion, - May appear and disappear, simply by the notion - We have about those unseen motives in its track - Preceding, going with, or following it back. - In presence of ladies a man takes off his hat, - To show respect for them and nothing but that. - The morality of this act is not hard to adjust. - The same gentleman to brush away the dust, - Takes off the same hat in perfect disgust. - In each case the taking off the hat was in view. - The one act was moral, while the other it’s true, - With the question of ethics had nothing to do. - He now takes off his hat at the command of the law, - In the presence of the court where he waits in awe. - Being tired of the hat, he takes it off to sell, - Now the above illustration you know so well, - That its application I’ll leave you to spell. - “Nothing’s good or bad but the thinking makes it so.” - Behold the beauty of ethics, let us make it grow. - If you want plants to thrive, cultivate the soil, - Don’t over fertilize, or you will make them spoil. - We may stimulate our desires for good morals, - And our desire for good deeds, even by quarrels. - We may over stimulate the passions of the youth, - Even when trying upon them to impress the truth. - By unduly stimulating their appetite for gains, - And their desires for pleasures without enduring the pains; - And by excess their natures may be changed. - In that way we destroy their faculty to enjoy, - The real blessings of life born of strife. - Rewards and punishments for acts and omissions, - Are causes for delinquencies and its commissions. - Both have their way their victims to sway, - From the natural paths of right every day. - Every good act brings its consequential pay - And every wrong act its own punishment, - Upon all who upon mischief are always bent. - But to add to the natural consequence of things, - Which their performance usually brings, - This over pay in the nature of rewards, - Drives one on until the pay alone he regards, - And the nature of crimes fades out of view, - While the punishment alone is considered by you. - Thus on we are naturally driven from our path, - Straying out of the right and the pleasures it hath. - Most of our motions should be left open to choice - To develop our selective faculties in acts and voice, - That make us kind and fellows to rejoice. - A certain kind of approval we feel, - That might be compared to the scent flowers yield, - Upon the doing or even contemplation of acts. - There is also a stifling sensation coming about, - The doing of things about which there is a doubt, - As to whether we ought, although never found out, - Think, do, or pursue the thing we’re about. - Conscience is the name applied - To this moving feeling with our faculties allied. - And some say it is a true moral guide. - But experience finds conscience in this plight, - It approves everything we think to be right, - And condemns all things in our sight, - That even from ignorance we deem wrong that may be right. - For conscience’ sake many have been burned at the stake, - To appease its gnawings, and thirst for blood to slake. - Gored by its pricks, Hindu mothers, their own babes, - In innocence swathed, into the seething waves, - Of the River Ganges, writhing, religiously they fling, - While to this river god their hymns they sing, - Galled by conscience the monk and anchorite, - In dark caves, out of human sight, - Tear their flesh and do themselves every spite - To humiliate themselves in heaven’s sight. - What a freak conscience has proved to be, - Is illustrated in a story by Heinrich Heine, - Of a certain judge in a certain state, - Having condemned eight hundred by his mandate, - To be burned at the stake for witchcraft, - One day conscience threw at him its own shaft. - He imagined too that he was guilty of the crime, - That so many others had been during his time. - So to quiet his conscience he paid the fine; - And having declared himself guilty, did resign, - And purge his soul in punishment condign. - Conscience may help us our morals to regulate, - But first of all, we must our conscience educate, - By educating the head by which it is led. - Know the right and do it too as best you can - And conscience will aid you to be a man. - To learn the right, and it pursue, - Read all books and observe the actions of man, - Acquire by your own experience all you can; - Value conduct as you would value your goods, - Digest the subject as you do your foods, - Always keeping in view that present good, - Is often best achieved, when understood, - By enduring pains now to prepare us for pleasures, - In the days to come in greater measures. - After all, the art which makes life a success - In blessing those we love to bless, - Is to find th’ equilibrium of pleasures and pains, - As we do our business losses and gains. - Altruism is a word by Auguste Compte made, - Meaning regard for others, which he truly said, - We should cultivate and human love assimilate. - Sometimes the best thing for others we can do, - Is not to worry them, but our own course pursue, - And to ourselves be true, and they’ll pull through. - - - - -Sunday Laws - - - Having enjoyed our quarrels, before we pause, - Let us take a look at your Sunday laws. - In olden time Sabbath breaking was a crime - Of such deep hue, that if anything you do - On that blessed day, even to earn a dime, - By shoveling snow, just about the time, - You begin to know that you must explore - For a little bread to keep wolf from your door. - Now the reason they did pense, for making that offense, - As I divine the most heinous of their time; - Was, that of all the days, it only took six, - For God the funds to raise and no plans to mix, - To build heaven and earth and all stars to fix; - And that the job was all finished so good, - By sundown Saturday night, as they understood, - That on Sunday He had nothing left to do; - So the Lord had to rest, and now must you. - If mistaken in the reasons as to me it looks, - Plenty of Sunday laws are found in your statute books; - And you can read them all yourself, - By taking them off their shelf. - But all those laws have now grown so very old, - And all the pages that them do hold, - Are all stuck together with moss and rust, - So that if you really and truly must, - Take a look at them yourself to see if they are just, - It would be better to hire some old maid or hag, - Who would supply herself with a dust brush and rag - From their pages to scrub away the mold of decay. - Every few years, say one in ten, - Some one or two of our fanatic men, - Or some great big oratorical fellow, - Who imagines that with all ease he can bellow, - And scare the boys their toys to put away, - On the holy, blessed Sabbath day. - As once happened in my own native state, - In almost a comparatively modern date. - This oratorical man became prosecutor of the law; - And he began in earnest to apply his jaw. - He gave us such a jar, that it was hard a cigar, - Or even a loaf of bread to get near or far. - Finally this one did his feathers plume, - And a race for Congress he began to assume; - Thinking that trip he could easily fly. - We then commenced to sing “as in days gone by,” - Before he was walking about our doors stalking, - Upon our heads to precipitate his wrath, - To keep us all in the old straight and narrow path. - In not such an awfully long time, we awoke to find, - That by somebody’s nudge, our man was criminal judge. - Dead sure now was he that he could scare all the boys away - From everything that looked like work or even play, - On the Sabbath day, and being in the lurch, - Haply a number would stumble into church, - When the choir began to sing and the coin to ring - In the collection box handed around by a sly fox. - Criminal informations for men in every station, - Who in his estimation, were the Sabbath breaking, - And the church forsaking, issued from his court, - Patiently did the folks go their bails, - And barely kept them out of our jails, - Till the humane change of venue came: - Then alas for his fame, nothing but blame, - For his services lent, and the people’s money spent. - By simple non-use laws may die, in the public eye. - When they go out of date, there is no need to legislate; - They are always considered as off the slate. - So let all our captives out with joy and glee, - And let us learn one thing from the Man of Galilee, - That the Sabbath was made for man. - - - - -True Religion - - - To work and love and live and do - For others as for oneself, in my view, - Would be a good religion for me and for you. - To help ourselves and others to educate, - That all false pride, selfishness and hate, - Come from ignorance and is not innate. - It is born of the admiration some bestow - On fools who parade around to make a show - Of their wealth, and also the clothes they wear, - Thinking themselves too good our company to share. - ’Tis not the books we read, nor the speed, - That we travel, nor our boasted creed; - ’Tis not the strength we have to believe, - All the tales that from others we receive; - Nor the ugly faces we make when we grieve; - Nor those long drawn out sighs we heave; - Nor even the sorrow we feel for crimes, - Committed away back in ancient times, - By Adam and Eve among their vines - Of the lovely Garden of Eden - Where before there was not a weed in. - Go to church if you please, don your bonnet and hike, - Take a front seat or sit with the choir if you like, - Invite others too, but don’t frown if they do - Let you go by yourself if they want you. - When you see a brother come to great grief, - Don’t take that chance to give yourself relief, - Of a burden you’ve carried to get a chance - To heave at him while down, your pious lance; - Put your arms around his neck, his pains to check, - And take some other time his sins to inspect. - Put your money in the missionary field, - To send to all China and all around you feel, - Like saving them from their idols to whom they kneel; - Spread yourself on land and sea to get them in the band; - All this you do and have not charity, - And your religion is not right for me. - Cut out Sunday, sin, satan and hell, - Leave the gods up where they are wont to dwell; - Change all of your songs about heaven above - To things upon our earth and human love; - Put off your mourning, lugubrious whine - And think of man as the one divine; - Learn to talk and walk and act - As if man’s freedom was a real fact. - Let your parsons take off their gowns, - And smooth out all their wrinkly frowns; - And preach about potatoes, corn and hay, - Just as if folks on earth intended to stay. - Let deacons and monks and all their crew, - Find work for themselves to toil and do; - Use all your churches, temples and spires, - According to man’s natural and ordinary desires; - Stop talking about inspired books and creeds, - But show your faith by human thoughts and deeds. - Immaculate conception and total depravity, - Are entirely too heavy for mortal’s gravity; - Baptism, holy unction, and the new birth divine, - Are elements in which gods alone may shine. - All our superstitions and fears and shame, - Originate in reverence for some holy name, - Burned into man by torch, faggot and flame. - Prophets, priests and seers of old, - So long their marvellous tales have told, - That none on earth but the reckless and old, - A doubt against them dare to hold. - Their ancient books and maps and charts, - Are indelibly branded upon our hearts. - From childhood hour at chime of bell - All congregate to hear the preacher tell - Of the garden of Eden where the serpent bold, - To our first mother did his story unfold; - And, that fascinated by that shiny snake, - She has doomed us all to the burning lake, - With no water our scorching thirst to slake. - He tells us too with all his might and main, - That for our crimes the pensive one was slain; - And that by his death on the cruel cross, - We may recoup our first mother’s loss. - That all are bound in the chains of sin, - Steeped in iniquity she did begin, - By that headlong fall our mother Eve fell, - And, unless we believe the tales they tell, - Our lot will be cast with the damned in hell. - - - - -Immortality - -(A Digression.) - - - When for us our eyes are closed in silent sleep, - And over our rigid body is spread the sheet, - While loved ones around us sob and weep. - When in black our form is shrouded; - And taken to some church all crowded, - Our last rites to receive at loving hands, - Who over our coffin wreathe their garlands - Of flowers, whose fragrance perfume - The air, while loving hearts with song attune, - The stillness to break in hymns of hope; - And the speaker in his talk to cope - With human grief and doubts and fears, - Says consoling words to dry up our tears. - When in our grave, made with pick and spade, - Our embalmed body is solemnly laid; - Does that end us all and all our parade? - Is that all of life to end in dust? - From which our body came once robust? - Or will there come some unseen power - Our lost life to restore in some distant hour, - By some loud trumpet blast us awake - From deep sleep our slumber to break? - Who pines the answer to know, - May have to wait, or the knowledge forego. - Science teaches that what of life we see, - In man as in vegetation, shrub and tree, - Are manifestations of acts the body performs. - That mystic thing called “thought” man’s life adorns, - Is but the throbbing of the active brain. - That each lobe and part of the brain, - Responds to particular senses we feel. - One convolution smells, one hears, one sees; - One urges locomotion, or brings us to our knees; - As upon them play the subtle waves from without - Receiving the response within of what we’re about. - If all this be true, how can it be - That when this machine is destroyed as we see, - That these results can obtain thus set free. - When the grey matter of the brain is back in dust, - Into its original atoms rudely thrust. - Unless it be that life itself is a thing apart, - And the brain, nerves and throbbing heart, - Are but the instruments through which it plays, - And when this body in which it now stays, - With all of its parts, is dead and gone, - Another new body shall us adorn. - They tell us such things in a book divine; - And that this new body shall shine, - Forever amid the stars and in glory shall walk, - Around a throne and to the king shall talk; - And that under the shade of the tree of life, - Find eternal peace free from toil and strife. - - - - -Death - - - Death always strikes with a terrific blow, - Because it drives us to where we do not know. - All the saddened past has been filled with a guess. - Ages have been spent in trying to relieve its distress. - Men have sought magic and the spells it casts - To answer questions and all inquiries of death asked. - Yet, after all, we simply know that it is the fate - We all must equally share with those we love or hate. - Life is but a short story for us when it is told; - Its brief animation for the young and for the old - Is only an agitation, a ripple on the waves of time. - A few joys, a few sorrows, a few thoughts sublime - As onward we speed into the Great Beyond unknown. - Could we but open the doors and see the paths strown - With all the remains of the billions before us thrown - Into the gaping jaws of death, devouring its own, - We might then unravel its mysteries deep, - We might then have visions of those who sleep; - But into that vast chasm none are allowed to peep. - Vain it is to pry into this oblivion profound, - Vain to attempt its hidden meaning to expound; - Vain to ask why the hungry jaws of this Monster Great - Does not spare our loved ones, why he should immolate - Kings in palaces and peasants in huts of want, - Babes in cradles and aged ones lean and gaunt. - If we are inevitably doomed to this common end; - Should we fear when towards it our journeys tend? - We cannot shun it by fear or by hope, - We must meet it, and with its pangs must cope. - In which ever way our winding paths may lead - Death faces us with its devastating looks of greed. - It comes to us in a thousand different ways; - It visits us at night when the sun has hid its rays; - It greets us at noonday when the sun is high; - No one can escape its ever-vigilant eye; - All the living must yield up to it and die. - Is death a curse, then all the living are cursed; - Is death a blessing, then all the living will be blessed. - It cannot be an evil, nature creates nothing wrong; - And it is only nature while we follow it along. - Mother earth brings us all into this life; - And this same mother calls us back from its strife. - Can it be that our mother would be unkind? - In a universal mother, universal love we find. - Although her children be numbered by millions; - And all her numberless offspring run into billions; - Yet no partiality she shows; all are treated the same; - Her rules are based on fate, break them and bear the blame. - How could her laws be varied to suit her flock? - Anarchy would reign and destroy her stock. - One universal law; death waits us all; - So let us be courageous while we wait its call. - - - - -TRANSCRIBER’S NOTES: - - - Italicized text is surrounded by underscores: _italics_. - - Obvious typographical errors have been corrected. - - Archaic or alternate spelling has been retained from the original. - - - - - -End of Project Gutenberg's The Twentieth Century Epic, by R. 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Garnett—A Project Gutenberg eBook - </title> - <link rel="coverpage" href="images/cover.jpg" /> - <style type="text/css"> - -body { - margin-left: 10%; - margin-right: 10%; -} - - h1,h2 { - text-align: center; - clear: both; -} - -p { - margin-top: .51em; - text-align: justify; - margin-bottom: .49em; -} - -div.titlepage {text-align: center; page-break-before: always; page-break-after: always;} -div.titlepage p {text-align: center; font-weight: bold; line-height: 1.5; margin-top: 2em;} - - -hr { - width: 33%; - margin-top: 2em; - margin-bottom: 2em; - margin-left: 33.5%; - margin-right: 33.5%; - clear: both; -} - -hr.tb {width: 45%; margin-left: 27.5%; margin-right: 27.5%;} -hr.chap {width: 65%; margin-left: 17.5%; margin-right: 17.5%;} - -div.chapter {page-break-before: always;} -h2.nobreak {page-break-before: avoid;} - -.pagenum { - position: absolute; - left: 92%; - font-size: smaller; - text-align: right; - font-style: normal; - font-weight: normal; - font-variant: normal; -} - - -.blockquot { - margin-left: 17.5%; - margin-right: 17.5%; -} - -.center {text-align: center;} - -.right {text-align: right;} - -.xlarge {font-size: 150%;} - -.caption {font-weight: bold; text-align: center;} - -.ph1 {text-align: center; font-size: xx-large; font-weight: bold;} -.ph2 {text-align: center; font-size: large; font-weight: bold;} - -.antiqua { - font-family: Blackletter, Fraktur, Textur, "Old English Text MT", "Olde English Mt", "Olde English", Gothic, serif, sans-serif;} - -.figcenter { - margin: auto; - text-align: center; - page-break-inside: avoid; - max-width: 100%; -} - -.poetry-container {text-align: center;} -.poetry {display: inline-block; text-align: left;} -.poetry .verse {text-indent: -2.5em; padding-left: 3em;} - -@media handheld, print { .poetry {display: block;} } - - -.transnote {background-color: #E6E6FA; - color: black; - width: 65%; margin-left: 17.5%; margin-right: 17.5%; - font-size:smaller; - padding:0.5em; - margin-bottom:5em; - font-family:sans-serif, serif; } - - </style> - </head> -<body> - - -<pre> - -The Project Gutenberg EBook of The Twentieth Century Epic, by R. B. Garnett - -This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere in the United States and most -other parts of the world at no cost and with almost no restrictions -whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms of -the Project Gutenberg License included with this eBook or online at -www.gutenberg.org. If you are not located in the United States, you'll have -to check the laws of the country where you are located before using this ebook. - -Title: The Twentieth Century Epic - -Author: R. B. Garnett - -Release Date: October 24, 2020 [EBook #63542] - -Language: English - -Character set encoding: ASCII - -*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE TWENTIETH CENTURY EPIC *** - - - - -Produced by Charlene Taylor, David E. Brown, and the Online -Distributed Proofreading Team at https://www.pgdp.net (This -file was produced from images generously made available -by The Internet Archive/American Libraries.) - - - - - - -</pre> - - -<div class="figcenter"><img src="images/cover.jpg" width="50%" alt="" /></div> - -<hr class="chap" /> - -<div class="figcenter"><img src="images/frontis.jpg" alt="" /></div> - -<p class="caption"><i>R. B. Garnett.</i></p> - -<hr class="chap" /> - -<div class="figcenter"><img src="images/titlepage.jpg" alt="" /></div> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<div class="titlepage"> - -<h1> -<i>The</i> TWENTIETH<br /> -CENTURY<br /> -EPIC</h1> - -<p><span class="xlarge">By R. B. Garnett</span></p> - -<div class="figcenter"><img src="images/titlelogo.jpg" alt="" /></div> - -<p>THE ROXBURGH PUBLISHING CO., INC.<br /> -Boston</p> -</div> - -<hr class="chap" /> - -<p class="center">Copyrighted 1914<br /> -<br /> -By REUBEN BRODIE GARNETT<br /> -<br /> -All Rights Reserved</p> - - -<hr class="chap" /> - -<div class="chapter"> -<h2 class="nobreak"><span class="antiqua">Dedication</span></h2> -</div> - -<div class="blockquot"> - -<p>To the human race this little book is dedicated, -with the hope that it may bring some -cheer, and also teach you a few things that -may lessen your burdens. The subjects -that I have put into rhyme are presented as -they come to me from my life of experience.</p> - -<p>My criticisms may appear too severe, but -remember that only your truest friends are -allowed to tell you of your faults.</p> - -<p class="right">REUBEN BRODIE GARNETT.</p> -</div> - -<hr class="chap" /> - -<p class="ph1"> -<i>The</i> TWENTIETH<br /> -CENTURY EPIC</p> - - -<hr class="chap" /> - -<div class="chapter"> -<span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_7"></a>[7]</span> - -<h2 class="nobreak"><span class="antiqua">Preface</span></h2> -</div> - -<p class="center">By the Author.</p> - - -<p>This poem that I have dignified with the -term epic, was written by inspiration, and -is dedicated to the human race. I have used -the term epic with no intention of assuming -a dignity not due my production; but, -in the sense that the precepts and warnings -contained therein, have a lofty purpose; and -are graphically set forth in the plainest -words in the English language.</p> - -<p>I have not indulged in similes or hyperboles; -nor does my epic abound with those -picturesque figures of comparison found in -Homer or Virgil, nor those cadences and -swells found in The Paradise Lost, describing -the headlong falls and gigantic flights -of those god-like personages peopling the -heavens and earth in the poetic mind; nor -does my inspiration come from muse or divine -breath; nor did it descend upon me -from above; on the contrary, it sprang up -out of the deep feeling I have for my kind, -especially those in the strained walks of -life.</p> - -<p>Our twentieth century shows society in -the process of centralizing itself; and, gradually -forcing us into legal socialism. This<span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_8"></a>[8]</span> -is plainly shown in the poem. The process -of centralization, for years, worked slowly -in this country. As long as the influence of -the founders of our Republic was potent, -liberty was dominant.</p> - -<p>The first step in this process was the inauguration -of a general system of free public -schools. The direct result of this free -education was to overcrowd the book and -head portion of our population at the expense -of the producing classes, making it -harder for the clerk to make a bare living. -The idea of every parent now seems to be -that his or her offspring is especially adapted -to the learned professions and to society.</p> - -<p>This was also the first step towards the -diversion of public funds to private enterprise. -The appropriation of public moneys -to the extensive and widening fields of private -affairs has progressed rapidly in the -last decade. This, with its evils, is vividly -set forth in my poem. Unless this is -checked by united, immediate action, socialism -will increase more rapidly in the future -than in the past, is my prophecy. This results -from the fact that the tax-eaters are -the ones who manipulate our bond elections.</p> - -<p>The result is plain, and can be predicted -with certainty; the end of socialism will be -the extreme opposite and, that you all know<span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_9"></a>[9]</span> -is anarchy. When everything is so striking -that nothing strikes, or in other words, -when there are more laws than we can possibly -tolerate, we’ll naturally rebel and kick -them all over; all, as shown in this epic. -The last transition will likely be accomplished -by bloodshed and strife.</p> - -<p>The laws for the management of society -in a state of complete legal socialism will be -so numerous and complicated; and the -bureaus so haughty and domineering that -freemen will not try to learn them, much -less obey them. In fact, no one can now -keep pace with the rapid production of -laws under our incipient socialism. The -fight I make is to break off now and go back -to fundamentals, as shown in my poem.</p> - -<p>As against socialism or anarchy I deliberately -prefer the latter; but, as against -both of them I prefer a government of limited -powers, based exclusively on natural -laws that I have so forcibly defined in this -work; with a complete abandonment of the -barbarous idea of punishment for crimes by -criminal courts; the man who commits a -crime is to be pitied and helped to a more -sane mode of existence, and not be driven -into perpetual criminality. As to how he -shall be handled can be better settled when -we clear ourselves of our false notions on -the subject.</p> - - - -<p><span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_10"></a>[10]</span>Our legal servants, we call officers, are -now deteriorating with great rapidity, as -set forth in this poem under “Names.” My -remedy for that is to cut down the salaries -of all officers from President down, so low -that no one will seek office for money. -Then have the laws such that men will be -selected and compelled to serve, by public -sentiment, for short terms and take out part -of their pay in patriotism and good will.</p> - -<p>My observation, over a number of years, -shows that the higher the salary, the more -inefficient the officer. High salaries also -give birth to gangs of politicians who fatten -off the public funds and salaries of -their appointees, making graft semi-respectable.</p> - -<p>Honesty in public and private life seems -to me to be very desirable; and, it could be -so easily attained, as set forth in my epic. -Of course, under our prevailing system, -honesty is out of the question; and if any -of you think that I have not convicted you -of dishonesty, as defined under that topic, -please send me your photograph to be used -herein.</p> - -<p>In writing this poem I have no malice in -my heart for a single human being on -earth; and, if in any way I have touched -upon any of your pet notions or sacred -ideas, and thereby wounded your feelings,<span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_11"></a>[11]</span> -I sincerely ask your forgiveness; with me -all truth is sacred. I have no ill-will -against preachers, lawyers, or doctors; I -wrote you up to make you think, and also -to let you know you were not fooling me.</p> - -<p>In conclusion, I say to you one and all, -as brothers and fellow citizens, let’s work -together to save the greatest country and -the greatest civilization on earth.</p> - -<div class="poetry-container"> -<div class="poetry"> -<div class="verse">Let truth together bind us,</div> -<div class="verse">And supporting it find us.</div> -</div></div> - -<p class="right">REUBEN BRODIE GARNETT.</p> - -<p>June 29, 1913.</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_12"></a>[12]</span></p> - -<hr class="chap" /> - -<div class="chapter"> -<span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_13"></a>[13]</span> - -<h2 class="nobreak"><span class="antiqua">Proem</span></h2> -</div> - - -<div class="poetry-container"> -<div class="poetry"> -<div class="verse">I never shall appeal to any muse of old</div> -<div class="verse">To give inspiration to my story when it’s told,</div> -<div class="verse">But, in words all my own, shall my theme unfold;</div> -<div class="verse">And, for my love of man, I’ll tell you what I can;</div> -<div class="verse">Tell you what I know that you may truly scan</div> -<div class="verse">What to do and what to know for the good of man;</div> -<div class="verse">Tell you where to go, the places you should shun</div> -<div class="verse">On every working day, when your labor’s done.</div> -<div class="verse">In telling where to go I will not name the place</div> -<div class="verse">Where you should show your face, but let each run his race</div> -<div class="verse">And, for himself decide the spot to cast his lot.</div> -<div class="verse">I’ll point out mistakes to help put on brakes</div> -<div class="verse">Against the evils of our day one often makes.</div> -<div class="verse">From the Charlatan and all designing wise</div> -<div class="verse">Strip his robe of guise and expose him to your eyes.</div> -<div class="verse">The fawning sycophant and all his crafty kind</div> -<div class="verse">Will be painted so they’ll not be hard to find.</div><span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_14"></a>[14]</span> -<div class="verse">I’ll speak of laws and customs old with hoary age</div> -<div class="verse">Taught by rulers, priests, and many an ancient sage</div> -<div class="verse">That now are practically extinct with non-usage;</div> -<div class="verse">And regulations new that men had little to do</div> -<div class="verse">With bribes sometimes when they put them through</div> -<div class="verse">Legislative halls and Congress we’d now eschew.</div> -<div class="verse">I’ll speak to you about your manners</div> -<div class="verse">When you sometimes march with banners;</div> -<div class="verse">And even with hosannas sitting meekly in your pew</div> -<div class="verse">Revolving schemes against others you intend to do.</div> -<div class="verse">The roving politicians all seeking fat positions</div> -<div class="verse">To feed their hungry maws and all their kin-in-laws</div> -<div class="verse">Come in for their share when we divide the flaws.</div> -<div class="verse">Even the society genteel in their swift automobile</div> -<div class="verse">Had better beware their piccadillos to conceal.</div> -<div class="verse">Religions of every shade by ancients and moderns made</div> -<div class="verse">To subdue the gentle folk with all that they have said</div><span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_15"></a>[15]</span> -<div class="verse">This subject will meet its due before I’m through,</div> -<div class="verse">As I started out for things about that need review.</div> -<div class="verse">Theatres too, with music, painting and art,</div> -<div class="verse">Might all feel slighted not to have their part</div> -<div class="verse">In the criticism we bring as they my song may sing;</div> -<div class="verse">And the pictures my word recalls may be carved on walls</div> -<div class="verse">In the coming days as was done with other poet’s lays.</div> -<div class="verse">Developments in science where we place reliance</div> -<div class="verse">To alleviate the misdirection of our state</div> -<div class="verse">Should all be alluded to in the story we relate.</div> -<div class="verse">Wars, with all their frightful havoc spread</div> -<div class="verse">Where victorious and routed passed over dying and dead,</div> -<div class="verse">And peace too that came at last</div> -<div class="verse">That o’er the earth its healing blessings amassed</div> -<div class="verse">Should have a place when in plates my work is cast;</div> -<div class="verse">Also ethics, that practical theme so misunderstood,</div> -<div class="verse">Should here be elucidated for the general good;</div> -<div class="verse">And a few short digressions would not be out of place</div><span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_16"></a>[16]</span> -<div class="verse">In an Epic dedicated to and written for The Human Race.</div> -<div class="verse">But what is said under each head you may read,</div> -<div class="verse">So to my task the work shall proceed.</div> -</div></div> - -<p> </p> - -<div class="figcenter"><img src="images/twocrosses.jpg" alt="" /></div> - - - - -<div class="chapter"> -<h2 class="nobreak"><span class="antiqua">Admonition</span></h2> -</div> - - -<div class="poetry-container"> -<div class="poetry"> -<div class="verse">Take from your statute laws and books</div> -<div class="verse">All legal protection for thieves and crooks;</div> -<div class="verse">Your complicated bills of mechanics’ liens</div> -<div class="verse">That offer to rogues the ample means</div> -<div class="verse">The owners of houses with their demesnes</div> -<div class="verse">To make go down humbly into their jeans</div> -<div class="verse">For the jingly coin doubly to pay</div> -<div class="verse">The working man, and padded expenses defray.</div> -<div class="verse">Your unjust schemes of municipal taxation</div> -<div class="verse">That cause home owners such great vexation.</div> -<div class="verse">Your tax upon mortgages, bills and notes</div> -<div class="verse">Upon which the poor man’s title barely floats,</div> -<div class="verse">Causing him to pay levies upon his lands</div> -<div class="verse">As if they were clear like the rich man’s;</div> -<div class="verse">By increasing for him his interest and dues</div> -<div class="verse">Which the money sharks collect as they choose.</div><span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_17"></a>[17]</span> -<div class="verse">Your laws against usury one may take</div> -<div class="verse">Tend solely the poor man’s back to break.</div> -<div class="verse">You drive away the cheap money he might get,</div> -<div class="verse">And leave him at the mercy of that lawless set</div> -<div class="verse">Who fatten upon unfortunates suddenly thrown in debt.</div> -<div class="verse">Nearly all your laws for the collection of dues</div> -<div class="verse">Into our commercial life dishonesty infuse.</div> -<div class="verse">Your regulations of homestead, exemption and stay</div> -<div class="verse">Simply postpone our troubles to another day.</div> -<div class="verse">By intricate trials with their writs and pleas;</div> -<div class="verse">And copious objections about titles and fees,</div> -<div class="verse">Remainders absolute, contingent and entailed,</div> -<div class="verse">Upon technicalities numberless justice is impaled;</div> -<div class="verse">Your instructions, your errors and appeals,</div> -<div class="verse">Until the waiting, anxious litigant feels</div> -<div class="verse">That the door of the temple of justice is locked;</div> -<div class="verse">And his chance of right is securely blocked.</div> -<div class="verse">Your free legal aid and your festive welfare board,</div> -<div class="verse">Their matrons and clerks, a mighty hungry hoard,</div><span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_18"></a>[18]</span> -<div class="verse">Impose upon the payers of taxes a weighty load;</div> -<div class="verse">All for the purpose of sending over the road</div> -<div class="verse">Some unfortunate victim of their own slimy graft</div> -<div class="verse">Or some poor devil whom they kick “fore and aft.”</div> -<div class="verse">Your Juvenile court of which the kids make sport,</div> -<div class="verse">Where curtailed haired women and men hold the fort.</div> -<div class="verse">And such institutions the wits of man can devise</div> -<div class="verse">Are considered by Progressives as blessings in disguise.</div> -<div class="verse">Your tariffs for protection passed in Congress halls</div> -<div class="verse">To build all around us mighty Chinese walls,</div> -<div class="verse">Are sapping from the people their dear blood of life,</div> -<div class="verse">And making for politicians no end of deadly strife.</div> -<div class="verse">Your proctor with his aids to fight against divorce;</div> -<div class="verse">Who by his pugnacity is seeking to enforce</div> -<div class="verse">Unfortunate couples bound in unhappy wedded lock</div> -<div class="verse">To parade their troubles upon the public dock;</div> -<div class="verse">And to bind the chains anew they seek to dissever,</div><span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_19"></a>[19]</span> -<div class="verse">Holding them fast that he may be deemed clever,</div> -<div class="verse">In the estimation of all the Christian Endeavor;</div> -<div class="verse">And that class of persons who want now and forever</div> -<div class="verse">To meddle in the affairs of all whomsoever</div> -<div class="verse">Are not able to disclaim the care they obtain;</div> -<div class="verse">Who crowd upon the weak the blessings they do not seek;</div> -<div class="verse">All to achieve for themselves a home in the sky</div> -<div class="verse">When from their missions on earth they fly.</div> -<div class="verse">The Commissioners of Vice are pulling for a slice</div> -<div class="verse">Of fame as it goes by investigating those</div> -<div class="verse">Who employ many girls simply to keep them in hose</div> -<div class="verse">And such other fancy articles that they suppose</div> -<div class="verse">Will always make them shine when they go out to dine,</div> -<div class="verse">As a girl dressed up haply feels fine.</div> -<div class="verse">And now here comes Teddy with his big stick and hat</div> -<div class="verse">For damages to his soiled name in legal spat,</div> -<div class="verse">With a small newspaper man suing for a big chunk</div><span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_20"></a>[20]</span> -<div class="verse">Because he published that T. R. had been drunk.</div> -<div class="verse">To tell the names of men who are shams in our times</div> -<div class="verse">Would overload my epic with variegated rhymes:</div> -<div class="verse">The one named above is more than a man;</div> -<div class="verse">He stands for ideas, a party and a clan</div> -<div class="verse">Born of disappointment and just turned loose</div> -<div class="verse">Sailing under the banner of the Big Bull Moose.</div> -<div class="verse">This clique of theirs all swelling up to burst</div> -<div class="verse">Decry all our institutions to be the very worst.</div> -<div class="verse">They’d have our laws, judges and courts recalled,</div> -<div class="verse">And others to suit them forthwith installed.</div> -<div class="verse">They’d regulate the wages men have to pay,</div> -<div class="verse">Neglecting to tell the laborer he might be in the way</div> -<div class="verse">Unless his work he did should his employers pay;</div> -<div class="verse">For unless his production his pay did compensate</div> -<div class="verse">He and others would soon be off the slate.</div> -<div class="verse">They told us too in tones as loud as they could prate</div> -<div class="verse">How all the monied men and trusts they’d regulate,</div> -<div class="verse">Carefully hiding the man who was running their slate,</div><span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_21"></a>[21]</span> -<div class="verse">And supplying the funds for them to navigate.</div> -<div class="verse">The working man too his dinner pail they’d fill</div> -<div class="verse">Forgetting also to tell him to send in his bill.</div> -<div class="verse">They’d secure to all the women free right to vote,</div> -<div class="verse">So they could say to hubby: “We’ve got your goat.”</div> -<div class="verse">And volumes of such ideas upon us did they float</div> -<div class="verse">All too numerous in this article to quote.</div> -<div class="verse">Drop your silly custom not worn off by growth</div> -<div class="verse">That judicial bodies must put a witness to oath,</div> -<div class="verse">That all he says and all that he shall quote</div> -<div class="verse">Will be the truth and nothing but the truth,</div> -<div class="verse">About the matters he relates in his witness booth.</div> -<div class="verse">The reasons for this habit have long passed forsooth,</div> -<div class="verse">It deceives none on bench or in jury box;</div> -<div class="verse">It may occasionally aid some old, designing fox</div> -<div class="verse">To some youthful, verdant judge deceive</div> -<div class="verse">And, of some just debt himself relieve.</div> -<div class="verse">On the whole, it does more harm than good</div> -<div class="verse">As at present the thing is generally understood:</div><span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_22"></a>[22]</span> -<div class="verse">For in a contested suit with one who knows</div> -<div class="verse">Against a trembly one who partially shows</div> -<div class="verse">Some lingering faith in “Old Scare Crows,”</div> -<div class="verse">The inclination to lie and deceive in the one</div> -<div class="verse">Would surely be by the other simply outdone:</div> -<div class="verse">The one might be bound by the fears of hell</div> -<div class="verse">While the other swears away his lies to tell.</div> -<div class="verse">When the witness swears he’s perjured unawares,</div> -<div class="verse">For by his plight he must the whole truth reveal</div> -<div class="verse">By the rule he must more than half conceal.</div> -<div class="verse">Stop your fight for prohibition and do the fair thing;</div> -<div class="verse">Our people to temperance themselves will shortly bring.</div> -<div class="verse">Take taxes off whisky, wine, liquor and beer;</div> -<div class="verse">And, for the cause of temperance you needn’t have a fear.</div> -<div class="verse">Let all your marts and markets freely sell</div> -<div class="verse">Every kind of liquor they ever heard tell;</div> -<div class="verse">Let every one the stuff make from gulf to lake;</div> -<div class="verse">Make the price so cheap that with one leap,</div> -<div class="verse">Men will forsake the common thing to keep.</div> -<div class="verse">At one cent a drink the bar keeper will think</div> -<div class="verse">His saloon will sink and soon put him on the brink</div><span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_23"></a>[23]</span> -<div class="verse">Of finding some other way all his expenses to pay;</div> -<div class="verse">So out soon he goes not stopping his doors to close.</div> -<div class="verse">There still will be drinking and that keeps you thinking,</div> -<div class="verse">That by compulsion you can create a revulsion</div> -<div class="verse">In the taste of man heap sooner than you can.</div> -<div class="verse">The truth is, you’ve always tried in vain</div> -<div class="verse">All these cultivated tastes of man to restrain.</div> -<div class="verse">The more you try to force men good habits to acquire,</div> -<div class="verse">The more you stir up and increase his raging desire,</div> -<div class="verse">To show his freedom against which you conspire.</div> -<div class="verse">He’ll go to any extent which you’ll never prevent,</div> -<div class="verse">To get his booze on which his mind is bent;</div> -<div class="verse">He’ll keep his “blind tigers” and his wooden legs,</div> -<div class="verse">Hollowed out and neatly made with faucet of pegs,</div> -<div class="verse">His whisky he’ll conceal and feel he’s in the right;</div> -<div class="verse">So you’ll not stop him no matter how you fight.</div> -<div class="verse">The drunkard will drink no matter what you think,</div><span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_24"></a>[24]</span> -<div class="verse">At any cost no matter if you consider him lost.</div> -<div class="verse">Make the price so cheap that for his family’s keep,</div> -<div class="verse">He’ll still be ahead to buy his folks their bread.</div> -</div></div> - -<p> </p> - -<div class="figcenter"><img src="images/twocrosses.jpg" alt="" /></div> - - - - -<div class="chapter"> -<h2 class="nobreak"><span class="antiqua">A Digression</span></h2> -</div> - - -<div class="poetry-container"> -<div class="poetry"> -<div class="verse">I used to tell my friends what I was going to do,</div> -<div class="verse">And right away they’d say, “I wouldn’t if I were you.”</div> -<div class="verse">I know of once or twice by taking their advice,</div> -<div class="verse">A good deal I lost at a distressing cost.</div> -<div class="verse">Take my advice; choose your own course to pursue,</div> -<div class="verse">And, when you get your plan, just put it through,</div> -<div class="verse">And then tell no other man what you’ve been up to.</div> -<div class="verse">Then if you succeed you will never need,</div> -<div class="verse">Anybody else to claim part of your deed.</div> -<div class="verse">Even if you fail, don’t furl up your sail</div> -<div class="verse">Nor put your head under the bottom rail,</div> -<div class="verse">But try once more just the same as before.</div> -</div></div> - - - -<p> </p> -<div class="figcenter"><img src="images/facing025.jpg" alt="" /></div> -<p class="caption"><i>Dorothy</i></p> - - -<div class="chapter"> -<span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_25"></a>[25]</span> - -<h2 class="nobreak"><span class="antiqua">Dorothy</span></h2> -</div> - - -<div class="poetry-container"> -<div class="poetry"> -<div class="verse">Listen to this story about a little girl,</div> -<div class="verse">Who came into the world a short time ago.</div> -<div class="verse">I remember the day, only a few months or so;</div> -<div class="verse">It was in the month of March over a year;</div> -<div class="verse">When all trembling with hope and fear,</div> -<div class="verse">We did for her watch—all sincere.</div> -<div class="verse">At night she came, and without any name,</div> -<div class="verse">Because we did not know what her sex would be;</div> -<div class="verse">But at her scream, the doctor said “she”;</div> -<div class="verse">And, then, we all at once knew what to do;</div> -<div class="verse">About naming her the course to pursue.</div> -<div class="verse">We left it to her mother, herself a little bride,</div> -<div class="verse">This weighty matter of naming all to decide.</div> -<div class="verse">We told her all the names we did hear or see,</div> -<div class="verse">But she rejected them all and called her Dorothy.</div> -<div class="verse">So Dorothy’s my theme her grandmother’s dream,</div> -<div class="verse">During all those years when those babes of hers,</div> -<div class="verse">Us did come to see, and, now she still avers,</div> -<div class="verse">That she watched through the passing years</div> -<div class="verse">Looking to see if one of hers a girl might be,</div><span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_26"></a>[26]</span> -<div class="verse">But they were boys, the whole blessed three.</div> -<div class="verse">Now Dorothy’s here to fill our home with cheer</div> -<div class="verse">By her little, prattling talk and her shambling walk,</div> -<div class="verse">By her little tricks she plays in her winning ways,</div> -<div class="verse">Pulling off your hat and fumbling your cravat,</div> -<div class="verse">Knocking over chairs, trying to go upstairs,</div> -<div class="verse">Picking all the flowers for grandpa to smell,</div> -<div class="verse">And more other things than tongue or pen can tell.</div> -<div class="verse">She’s a little sprite and good for our sight.</div> -<div class="verse">But here I must pause and sadly say,</div> -<div class="verse">That one evil day a swelling came on her neck,</div> -<div class="verse">We thought for sure had come from us to take</div> -<div class="verse">The little brat, and all our hearts to break.</div> -<div class="verse">But the good doctor came and now she’s the same</div> -<div class="verse">As she was before the blasted swelling came.</div> -<div class="verse">May I never see the day till my race on earth is run</div> -<div class="verse">When any evil at all shall befall this little one.</div> -<div class="verse">Many of you have plenty of such chaps,</div> -<div class="verse">That jump up and down upon your laps,</div><span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_27"></a>[27]</span> -<div class="verse">Who are just as pretty and just as sweet;</div> -<div class="verse">And you walk with them upon the street,</div> -<div class="verse">To the market and to the drug store,</div> -<div class="verse">Where you buy food stuffs for them galore,</div> -<div class="verse">Just the same as I do for mine o’er and o’er.</div> -<div class="verse">But still with me a great difference I see,</div> -<div class="verse">Between your brats and my Dorothy,</div> -<div class="verse">And the reason that you do not with me agree</div> -<div class="verse">Is simply because you are you and I am me.</div> -</div></div> - -<p> </p> - -<div class="figcenter"><img src="images/twocrosses.jpg" alt="" /></div> - - - - -<div class="chapter"> -<h2 class="nobreak"><span class="antiqua">Divorce</span></h2> -</div> - - -<div class="poetry-container"> -<div class="poetry"> -<div class="verse">Now drop a little tear, but don’t stop here,</div> -<div class="verse">Come along now and let’s see if we can agree</div> -<div class="verse">Upon another matter while o’er the thing I scatter</div> -<div class="verse">Some thoughts I have, not intending myself to flatter.</div> -<div class="verse">Divorce is a question about which many disagree;</div> -<div class="verse">Some think it’s wrong; some think it’s right maybe.</div> -<div class="verse">Now upon it let’s begin our wordy fight and see.</div> -<div class="verse">For a beginning I will postulate, simply to open the debate,</div><span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_28"></a>[28]</span> -<div class="verse">That it is not an affair of the state that couples separate,</div> -<div class="verse">When they each other fervently hate;</div> -<div class="verse">Except where children, a care about whose fate,</div> -<div class="verse">On the conscience of the public might grate,</div> -<div class="verse">Are brought into court for the judge to state</div> -<div class="verse">In his judicial opinion of the case,</div> -<div class="verse">What he considers best for the human race.</div> -<div class="verse">Then of course if His Honor is wise, he’ll devise</div> -<div class="verse">Some plan to make wife and man either realize,</div> -<div class="verse">That if they are deaf to the cries of their offspring</div> -<div class="verse">The court itself will bring pressure into the thing</div> -<div class="verse">They’re about to do, and, before it gets through,</div> -<div class="verse">I think that neither me nor you will any suggestion make</div> -<div class="verse">Or advice give about what course the law will take.</div> -<div class="verse">If when all this is done and the court can’t make them one,</div> -<div class="verse">Then it is up to him and all my talk is done.</div> -<div class="verse">Some people oppose divorce on account of their views,</div> -<div class="verse">Acquired from that book written by ancient Jews.</div><span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_29"></a>[29]</span> -<div class="verse">Some think it a disgrace upon the entire human race,</div> -<div class="verse">For any sundered couples to have a place,</div> -<div class="verse">On the green earth where they may show their face.</div> -<div class="verse">This narrow view is not entertained by you or me,</div> -<div class="verse">Because we’ve been along far enough to see</div> -<div class="verse">Some of the things from whom some are set free.</div> -<div class="verse">Others oppose it on the score of “I told you so!</div> -<div class="verse">People oughtn’t marry whom they did not know.”</div> -<div class="verse">Some plunge deep into the matter, themselves they flatter,</div> -<div class="verse">That they can some great big principles scatter,</div> -<div class="verse">Over the very causes while they chatter.</div> -<div class="verse">They’d take it in time and let the big state</div> -<div class="verse">Issue its own red-sealed certificate,</div> -<div class="verse">To all spooning couples longing to mate,</div> -<div class="verse">And, at one single throw the entire nuisance abate.</div> -<div class="verse">Then these smart ones pucker their mouth,</div> -<div class="verse">With their heads tossed north and south,</div> -<div class="verse">To see if anybody should really act so shoddy,</div> -<div class="verse">As not an acquiescent head to at once noddy.</div> -<div class="verse">But the main fight does not come from home,</div><span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_30"></a>[30]</span> -<div class="verse">It thunders from the pope of Rome;</div> -<div class="verse">And, there are plenty of folks take his word home.</div> -<div class="verse">He says marriage is the sacred thing of life,</div> -<div class="verse">And when one takes a wife, regardless of strife,</div> -<div class="verse">They cannot be cut apart with a butcher’s knife.</div> -<div class="verse">So you may shake this subject up and down,</div> -<div class="verse">In country, village and town, and use every noun,</div> -<div class="verse">Verb, adverb and pronoun from early morn to sundown,</div> -<div class="verse">And the people will no better be made, for all your</div> -<div class="verse">Prattle and all you said.</div> -<div class="verse">The real causes of the thing are ingrain,</div> -<div class="verse">Born in the heart and born in the brain,</div> -<div class="verse">Maybe, by any by, before you die, but not I,</div> -<div class="verse">Science may teach us to create and the race propagate,</div> -<div class="verse">In some other way besides this vexing marriage state.</div> -</div></div> - -<div class="figcenter"><img src="images/image030.jpg" alt="" /></div> - - - - -<div class="chapter"> -<span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_31"></a>[31]</span> - -<h2 class="nobreak"><span class="antiqua">Social Evil</span></h2> -</div> - - -<div class="poetry-container"> -<div class="poetry"> -<div class="verse">The next subject allied the last, on to which</div> -<div class="verse">I have been trying my train of thoughts to switch,</div> -<div class="verse">Is one to which a common word is applied,</div> -<div class="verse">That just as well fits many other things beside;</div> -<div class="verse">But the meaning of which comes easily when tried;</div> -<div class="verse">And seems to pop into your heads with no upheaval,</div> -<div class="verse">Is that natural crime called “the social evil.”</div> -<div class="verse">Now, I did not make people and neither did you,</div> -<div class="verse">But if a certain inspired book be true,</div> -<div class="verse">Some one made man for a start,</div> -<div class="verse">And then chopped out him a piece near his heart,</div> -<div class="verse">And constructed another of a little different sort.</div> -<div class="verse">If this be true the “some one” must be divinity</div> -<div class="verse">For, ever since, there has been a mysterious affinity,</div> -<div class="verse">Between the two kinds in every community.</div> -<div class="verse">On this subject we must not too widely roam,</div> -<div class="verse">Because it might bring some trouble home,</div> -<div class="verse">To some of you married men who every now and then</div><span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_32"></a>[32]</span> -<div class="verse">Feel like jumping out of your own pen.</div> -<div class="verse">Legislation and investigation and even humiliation,</div> -<div class="verse">Over all creation, in homes of every station,</div> -<div class="verse">Among peoples of every tribe and nation,</div> -<div class="verse">Have to this offense brought emancipation.</div> -<div class="verse">Women have been burned at the stake,</div> -<div class="verse">In attempting to make them forsake,</div> -<div class="verse">The lives they were leading, the men they were bleeding.</div> -<div class="verse">In all your statute books, in corners and nooks,</div> -<div class="verse">Laws have been framed against every thing that looks</div> -<div class="verse">Towards countenancing any form of prostitution:</div> -<div class="verse">Yet with all this and your contribution,</div> -<div class="verse">In your vain attempts to revise the constitution</div> -<div class="verse">Of woman and man ever since the world began,</div> -<div class="verse">You have not yet laid the foundation</div> -<div class="verse">For killing this wicked institution.</div> -<div class="verse">You have tried segregation into dark streets,</div> -<div class="verse">Where your own policemen lose their beats;</div> -<div class="verse">You have tried fines in the police courts,</div> -<div class="verse">Where they fetch up all the regular sports;</div> -<div class="verse">You have even gone yourself among the slums;</div> -<div class="verse">And feigned to be treating them as your chums,</div><span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_33"></a>[33]</span> -<div class="verse">Doing your levelest to put them under your thumbs,</div> -<div class="verse">And yet this evil does not seem to succumb;</div> -<div class="verse">Now what can we do but to stop trying,</div> -<div class="verse">And to our several good wives lying</div> -<div class="verse">About where we’ve been now and then.</div> -<div class="verse">You let this subject alone and stay at home</div> -<div class="verse">As much as you can for the good of man.</div> -<div class="verse">The more you talk and act wise,</div> -<div class="verse">The more you’ll advertise the thing to eyes</div> -<div class="verse">That see and ears that hear</div> -<div class="verse">When you think no eavesdropper is near.</div> -</div></div> - -<p> </p> - -<div class="figcenter"><img src="images/twocrosses.jpg" alt="" /></div> - - - - -<div class="chapter"> -<h2 class="nobreak"><span class="antiqua">Woman Suffrage</span></h2> -</div> - -<div class="poetry-container"> -<div class="poetry"> -<div class="verse">As my train of thought rumbled over the</div> -<div class="verse">Last topic it nearly tumbled;</div> -<div class="verse">And, metre, I see, was hard to gee:</div> -<div class="verse">But the subject next calling for my attention,</div> -<div class="verse">Has me so perplexed that I scarcely can mention</div> -<div class="verse">Even the little that I know and the facts show</div> -<div class="verse">About woman suffrage more than you already know.</div> -<div class="verse">Because I once rode with Phoebe Cousins</div> -<div class="verse">And have read suffrage pieces by dozens;</div><span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_34"></a>[34]</span> -<div class="verse">I’ve even heard Susan B. at the time that she</div> -<div class="verse">Her speeches did make our customs to break,</div> -<div class="verse">And yet, with all of that, little is under my hat,</div> -<div class="verse">To enlighten you or tell you where I’m at</div> -<div class="verse">Upon this subject great where women of late</div> -<div class="verse">Their rights to get are defying the state.</div> -<div class="verse">In Old Great Britt’n many of ’em are sitt’n</div> -<div class="verse">Starving in jails sooner than lower their sails.</div> -<div class="verse">But, considering it all, it looks to me,</div> -<div class="verse">That if you make your ballots universally free</div> -<div class="verse">To every living man who on top of earth walks</div> -<div class="verse">And to every single, solitary woman who talks</div> -<div class="verse">You wouldn’t help us much to get us out of the clutch</div> -<div class="verse">Of bad laws passed and the evil designing of such</div> -<div class="verse">As our liberties would take to—beat the Dutch.</div> -</div></div> - -<p> </p> - -<div class="figcenter"><img src="images/twocrosses.jpg" alt="" /></div> - - - -<div class="chapter"> -<span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_35"></a>[35]</span> - -<h2 class="nobreak"><span class="antiqua">Honesty</span></h2> -</div> - - -<div class="poetry-container"> -<div class="poetry"> -<div class="verse">If in all your acquaintance, you know an honest man,</div> -<div class="verse">Produce him and introduce him to me if you can,</div> -<div class="verse">That I may get the likeness of his face</div> -<div class="verse">To emboss in gold for a model to the human race;</div> -<div class="verse">In my epic I’ll give him a prominent place.</div> -<div class="verse">Now, don’t get miffed at me, till my meaning you see</div> -<div class="verse">And my definition you fully understand of honesty.</div> -<div class="verse">I can find plenty of people anywhere</div> -<div class="verse">Who will not lie like a tiger in his lair,</div> -<div class="verse">Ready to pounce upon you, your neck to break,</div> -<div class="verse">Your horse to steal and your watch to take;</div> -<div class="verse">Who will not break into your house at night,</div> -<div class="verse">And commit burglary without any light;</div> -<div class="verse">Or in your pocket slip his slimy hands</div> -<div class="verse">To snake out your money where he stands;</div> -<div class="verse">Or who will not murder, rob and plunder</div> -<div class="verse">Or steal your child your roof from under;</div> -<div class="verse">Or who will not commit any of your crimes</div> -<div class="verse">And pay all that they owe, even to dimes</div> -<div class="verse">And contracts keep square within the lines;</div> -<div class="verse">And yet none of these come up you see,</div> -<div class="verse">To my idea of what true honesty must be.</div><span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_36"></a>[36]</span> -<div class="verse">Now an honest man will strictly follow facts</div> -<div class="verse">In every thing he thinks, believes, or acts;</div> -<div class="verse">When he knows the truth that will guide his way.</div> -<div class="verse">Where there are no winding paths for him to stray.</div> -<div class="verse">He will not suppress the evidence in a case,</div> -<div class="verse">Where some gain may come to him in his race</div> -<div class="verse">For gold, ambition, pride, or even grace.</div> -<div class="verse">Without uttering a word, the biggest lie ever heard,</div> -<div class="verse">May fly out with wings of the fleetest bird,</div> -<div class="verse">And in its wake its venom shake over our heads,</div> -<div class="verse">Bringing distress and grief its desolation sheds.</div> -<div class="verse">By simple look, wink, or nod of the head,</div> -<div class="verse">We give assent to whatever is said;</div> -<div class="verse">And in that way push falsehood straight ahead.</div> -<div class="verse">Nothing at all may be asked, no inquiry made,</div> -<div class="verse">Still we should tell about the horse we trade;</div> -<div class="verse">If any faults he have, ring bone, spavin joint,</div> -<div class="verse">Pole evil, swinny or any other weak point,</div> -<div class="verse">We should spit it out right away</div> -<div class="verse">And not wait for the other fellow to say.</div><span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_37"></a>[37]</span> -<div class="verse">If a house you have to sell where one must dwell,</div> -<div class="verse">Tell about the plumbing and everything as well,</div> -<div class="verse">That makes your house unsuited to him you’d sell.</div> -<div class="verse">If pastor of some orthodox church you may be;</div> -<div class="verse">And find things in the Bible that can’t agree</div> -<div class="verse">With reason and sense, don’t get upon your knee</div> -<div class="verse">And pray grace to help you see that two equals three.</div> -<div class="verse">Speak the truth, lose your job and stay free.</div> -<div class="verse">When you go upon the street and a stranger meet</div> -<div class="verse">Who seems to know you, don’t be so sweet,</div> -<div class="verse">And claim to know his face while you greet.</div> -<div class="verse">When dressed up in your only Sunday suit</div> -<div class="verse">That some one admires, don’t begin to hoot</div> -<div class="verse">That it is only your old every-day suit.</div> -<div class="verse">When asked a simple question you cannot answer</div> -<div class="verse">Don’t say that you’ve just forgot and be a romancer,</div> -<div class="verse">Come out with the truth, say you don’t know.</div> -<div class="verse">When inquiry is made as to what church you go,</div><span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_38"></a>[38]</span> -<div class="verse">If you don’t go to any, just say so;</div> -<div class="verse">Don’t pretend that you go to different ones</div> -<div class="verse">“You know.”</div> -<div class="verse">If you’re running a bank and get short on cash</div> -<div class="verse">Where to extend accommodation might cause a smash,</div> -<div class="verse">Don’t squint your goggled eyes and look wise,</div> -<div class="verse">And claim that you’re moving the crop, otherwise,</div> -<div class="verse">You’d be too glad to take a loan of that size.</div> -<div class="verse">When you are specially invited to play or sing,</div> -<div class="verse">And are pining to hear your own piano ring</div> -<div class="verse">Don’t say that you’re out of practice here of late,</div> -<div class="verse">When you’ve done nothing but practice for that date.</div> -<div class="verse">If some one cordially asks you to have a drink,</div> -<div class="verse">Don’t tell him that you, yourself, was on the brink</div> -<div class="verse">Of inviting him with you in a social glass to link.</div> -<div class="verse">When you have old clothes lying on the floor</div> -<div class="verse">That you are about to hand over to the poor,</div> -<div class="verse">Don’t pretend that you’ve them simply outgrown,</div><span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_39"></a>[39]</span> -<div class="verse">When in the rag-bag they’ve actually been thrown.</div> -<div class="verse">When some dear friend implores you for a ten</div> -<div class="verse">Don’t pull your coin case where money had been,</div> -<div class="verse">As if he didn’t know where your full bill book stayed,</div> -<div class="verse">In your hip pocket crammed, the bills nicely laid.</div> -<div class="verse">When in your swift automobile you ride,</div> -<div class="verse">Don’t ask any one to sit by your side,</div> -<div class="verse">Ride by yourself and flatter your pride,</div> -<div class="verse">That everybody’s observing how slick you glide.</div> -<div class="verse">When you get on your new spring hat and green cravat,</div> -<div class="verse">Don’t break your back trying to be so straight,</div> -<div class="verse">But let modesty all your demeanor regulate.</div> -<div class="verse">Don’t feel so grand, and swagger as you go</div> -<div class="verse">Forgetting to whom for those things you owe.</div> -<div class="verse">You are dishonest in the way you treat your wife;</div> -<div class="verse">You go to clubs and revel in high life;</div> -<div class="verse">You smoke, chew and drink to your full,</div> -<div class="verse">While she stays at home the baby buggy to pull.</div> -<div class="verse">You go outing and have a jolly time;</div> -<div class="verse">And, when you start out, you flip her a dime;</div><span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_40"></a>[40]</span> -<div class="verse">When you do hand out a ten her things to buy,</div> -<div class="verse">You pull it out slow and heave a deep sigh,</div> -<div class="verse">And before you leave you almost make her cry,</div> -<div class="verse">Saying so very much about hard times being nigh;</div> -<div class="verse">If you ever spend a dollar freely in your life</div> -<div class="verse">Let it be the dollar you deliver to your wife.</div> -<div class="verse">Sling it out and say, “Money grows on trees!”</div> -<div class="verse">If she wants more you’ll dash it to the breeze.</div> -<div class="verse">You don’t always tell your wife where you’ve been,</div> -<div class="verse">And I don’t advise you to, for I don’t begin</div> -<div class="verse">To tell mine all the places where I go</div> -<div class="verse">And the reasons for which I’ll never show.</div> -<div class="verse">You are dishonest in listing for your tax,</div> -<div class="verse">In giving in notes and bonds hid away in cracks;</div> -<div class="verse">And the value of your things you put so low</div> -<div class="verse">That when th’ assessor’s gone you don’t know</div> -<div class="verse">Where you’ll get your next meal, so poor you feel.</div> -<div class="verse">When you take your seat on the witness stool,</div> -<div class="verse">And swallow that solemn oath under the court rule,</div> -<div class="verse">The things that help your case, your lawyer told,</div><span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_41"></a>[41]</span> -<div class="verse">In your memory seem to stay with an iron hold;</div> -<div class="verse">But those circumstances that against you militate</div> -<div class="verse">Appear entirely faded off your memory plate.</div> -<div class="verse">A falsehood acted, spoken, thought or believed</div> -<div class="verse">Seems justifiable when the one by it deceived</div> -<div class="verse">Had no right to elicit the truth from you,</div> -<div class="verse">And with the matter in dispute had nothing to do;</div> -<div class="verse">But was merely intermeddling, taking in the view</div> -<div class="verse">Of people’s affairs to glut his curious mind</div> -<div class="verse">And get into trouble if the same he’d find.</div> -<div class="verse">Of all the animals on earth we find anywhere</div> -<div class="verse">Man’s the only dishonest one I do declare,</div> -<div class="verse">Unless the fox be called dishonest when to lead</div> -<div class="verse">The howling pack off his track, he runs at full speed,</div> -<div class="verse">And turns around and comes back over the same track</div> -<div class="verse">And then quickly darts off somewhere to hide,</div> -<div class="verse">While the hounds on the old straight track relied,</div> -<div class="verse">And bound ahead beyond where the fox turned back,</div><span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_42"></a>[42]</span> -<div class="verse">Thinking he’s gone on and thus lose the track.</div> -<div class="verse">This clever deceit is accomplished so neat,</div> -<div class="verse">By the sly little fox who is hard to beat.</div> -<div class="verse">You may take the meanest horse any day,</div> -<div class="verse">While munching away on his bale of hay,</div> -<div class="verse">And he’ll kick, bite, and run all the others away,</div> -<div class="verse">Until he gets his belly full, when he leaves</div> -<div class="verse">And lets the others eat the rest of the sheaves;</div> -<div class="verse">And doesn’t lock them up in a safety deposit box.</div> -<div class="verse">When a man’s wants are supplied, he locks</div> -<div class="verse">Up from all others the things he cannot use,</div> -<div class="verse">If he lived a thousand years his stomach to abuse.</div> -<div class="verse">Civilization made us dishonest, nature never did;</div> -<div class="verse">Deceit comes from cultivation and we’ll never rid</div> -<div class="verse">Ourselves from its blighting evils till we undo</div> -<div class="verse">Many of our laws and customs made and passed by you.</div> -<div class="verse">Man could be made honest in a very few years,</div> -<div class="verse">If he could be held respectable among his peers;</div> -<div class="verse">But if one of us should get honest all at once,</div><span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_43"></a>[43]</span> -<div class="verse">We’d be hauled up for being a dunce;</div> -<div class="verse">And, an inquisition had to ascertain whether we’re mad.</div> -<div class="verse">Our behavior would to others seem so queer,</div> -<div class="verse">That they would flee from us in bodily fear.</div> -<div class="verse">So we will have to let reformation work slow,</div> -<div class="verse">Until the full meaning of my epic you know.</div> -</div></div> - -<p> </p> - -<div class="figcenter"><img src="images/twocrosses.jpg" alt="" /></div> - - - -<div class="chapter"> -<h2 class="nobreak"><span class="antiqua">Jim Saltenstall</span></h2> -</div> - -<p class="center">(A Digression.)</p> - - -<div class="poetry-container"> -<div class="poetry"> -<div class="verse">A certain man, stout and medium tall</div> -<div class="verse">Dwelt near us once, named Jim Saltenstall.</div> -<div class="verse">The most peculiar thing about this man,</div> -<div class="verse">Was not his name nor distended span.</div> -<div class="verse">A powerful limb was he of the law,</div> -<div class="verse">In which he exercised his massive jaw,</div> -<div class="verse">In justice courts if chance he saw,</div> -<div class="verse">To display his wit or pick a flaw,</div> -<div class="verse">In some contention neighbors hate,</div> -<div class="verse">Where he was ready and never too late,</div> -<div class="verse">To get a V for his windy prate.</div> -<div class="verse">A farm beside, where he did reside,</div> -<div class="verse">Claimed his skill and special pride.</div> -<div class="verse">He handled stock and rode his nag,</div> -<div class="verse">And had many things about which to brag.</div> -<div class="verse">In cows and swine his money he stuck</div><span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_44"></a>[44]</span> -<div class="verse">To raise for profit and keep him up.</div> -<div class="verse">The clothes he wore hung on him loose,</div> -<div class="verse">Except when he did faultlessly spruce</div> -<div class="verse">Before his friends and neighbors to strut</div> -<div class="verse">In court, to pull his client out of a rut.</div> -<div class="verse">He had one pair of extra sized pants,</div> -<div class="verse">Made by a cousin or one of his aunts,</div> -<div class="verse">Known all around by every girl and boy,</div> -<div class="verse">In his vicinity, made of brown corduroy.</div> -<div class="verse">This pair loose he’d usually wear</div> -<div class="verse">With no chance for the brush to tear.</div> -<div class="verse">One sultry afternoon in the middle of June,</div> -<div class="verse">A couple of spinsters riding along soon</div> -<div class="verse">Discovered on one side of the road</div> -<div class="verse">This pair of pants where it was “throwed.”</div> -<div class="verse">As they drew up close to the spot</div> -<div class="verse">Their nag whirled around in a trot;</div> -<div class="verse">The pants were moving and jumping about</div> -<div class="verse">These maids their wits scaring half out.</div> -<div class="verse">No James was by them seen at all,</div> -<div class="verse">But they knew the trousers of Saltenstall,</div> -<div class="verse">Who had hid in weeds with none on at all.</div> -<div class="verse">This mystery to them riding in the lane,</div> -<div class="verse">He never appeared and offered to explain.</div> -<div class="verse">Weeks passed by before they laid eye</div> -<div class="verse">Upon Saltenstall for whom they did spy,</div> -<div class="verse">This vision and its meaning to reveal.</div> -<div class="verse">They imagined they heard pigs squeal,</div> -<div class="verse">So by ifs and whats and twisting twigs,</div> -<div class="verse">They guessed the pants were full of pigs.</div> -<div class="verse">This story is true, and the riddle plain:</div><span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_45"></a>[45]</span> -<div class="verse">James found in his pasture near the lane,</div> -<div class="verse">That his favorite sow the stork had blessed,</div> -<div class="verse">With a litter of pigs, so he was distressed,</div> -<div class="verse">To contrive a scheme to take pigs to barn,</div> -<div class="verse">And have them housed and shielded from harm.</div> -<div class="verse">No sack had he in which to fetch the pigs,</div> -<div class="verse">So these pants were used with his rigs.</div> -<div class="verse">When on his shoulders his pigs he did load,</div> -<div class="verse">In plain view he saw the maids in the road.</div> -<div class="verse">They were coming straight ahead in full view,</div> -<div class="verse">So off his shoulders the whole thing he threw,</div> -<div class="verse">And took to the weeds to get out of view.</div> -<div class="verse">These ladies came along, all as we have said,</div> -<div class="verse">And found matters as stated under this head.</div> -</div></div> - -<p> </p> - -<div class="figcenter"><img src="images/twocrosses.jpg" alt="" /></div> - - - - -<div class="chapter"> -<h2 class="nobreak"><span class="antiqua">Science</span></h2> -</div> - - -<div class="poetry-container"> -<div class="poetry"> -<div class="verse">We do not mean by the title above,</div> -<div class="verse">Christian Science, which so many love;</div> -<div class="verse">And, against which we have no thought to inveigh,</div> -<div class="verse">Because it is accomplishing some good in its day,</div> -<div class="verse">By teaching us to see that the power of the mind</div><span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_46"></a>[46]</span> -<div class="verse">Controls our bodies more than others find.</div> -<div class="verse">By science, we mean all knowledge gained</div> -<div class="verse">From whatever source it may be attained;</div> -<div class="verse">By inventions, laws, medicine, therapeutics,</div> -<div class="verse">Sociology, geology, astronomy, epizootics,</div> -<div class="verse">Geography, orthography, mentality, logics,</div> -<div class="verse">Government, devilment, war and fratricide;</div> -<div class="verse">And this list might be multiplied if we tried.</div> -<div class="verse">But of all those things we cannot make review.</div> -<div class="verse">For ages men did not know that the earth was round;</div> -<div class="verse">It was supposed to flat, and all the ground</div> -<div class="verse">Rested on the back of one man, whose picture is found</div> -<div class="verse">Still in old geographies, standing under his load,</div> -<div class="verse">With his feet upon the back of some large toad,</div> -<div class="verse">Or tortoise; and, that the sun was slipped clean</div> -<div class="verse">Back west to east, at night by us unseen,</div> -<div class="verse">In the chariot of the Sun-god with his team</div> -<div class="verse">Of steeds as swift as if they were run by steam.</div> -<div class="verse">These views by them held sacred were impressed</div> -<div class="verse">On others who even speculatively guessed,</div> -<div class="verse">That there might be error in the sacred book,</div> -<div class="verse">Or else those who read failed to look</div><span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_47"></a>[47]</span> -<div class="verse">Deep enough into lines between lines,</div> -<div class="verse">Where sometimes most information one finds.</div> -<div class="verse">Shaking off their fear, daring men began to peer,</div> -<div class="verse">Into the upper air with telescopes, far and near;</div> -<div class="verse">Until upon them dawned beyond escape,</div> -<div class="verse">By the picture on the moon and its shape,</div> -<div class="verse">That, book or no book, the world was a globe.</div> -<div class="verse">And, to fully prove it, they toiled and strove,</div> -<div class="verse">Till Columbus the Great, did daringly navigate</div> -<div class="verse">Far enough to see it and stop the debate.</div> -<div class="verse">That one hazardous stroke by this brave man</div> -<div class="verse">Struck the shackles from science and began</div> -<div class="verse">A new era, in which truth conquers belief,</div> -<div class="verse">And consecrated error dies to our relief.</div> -<div class="verse">The door now being thrown open wide, men pried,</div> -<div class="verse">And delved into nature with rapid stride.</div> -<div class="verse">By the light of astronomy as their guide,</div> -<div class="verse">It was discovered that those specks that shine</div> -<div class="verse">High up in the heavens at the night time</div> -<div class="verse">Are suns and worlds that in their orbits move</div> -<div class="verse">Around greater centers in distance so high</div> -<div class="verse">As not to be seen as when through glass we spy.</div><span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_48"></a>[48]</span> -<div class="verse">That all those moving worlds by one supreme law</div> -<div class="verse">Of gravitation yield their obedience in awe.</div> -<div class="verse">To the bottom of the sea men dived to find</div> -<div class="verse">The wrecks of ages there accumulated by time,</div> -<div class="verse">As old ocean waves roll over them its slime.</div> -<div class="verse">Into the strata of the rocks marking each age</div> -<div class="verse">As time passed written on them page by page,</div> -<div class="verse">The history of the earth before the historic age;</div> -<div class="verse">Men have dug up fossils for scholar and sage.</div> -<div class="verse">With silken thread, they drew lightning from the sky,</div> -<div class="verse">And harnessed it up our trade and commerce to ply.</div> -<div class="verse">By microscope and tools chemists use,</div> -<div class="verse">The varied elements have been made to fuse</div> -<div class="verse">Into numerous new substances by man used</div> -<div class="verse">In the varied arts to which existence imparts</div> -<div class="verse">The glories of the times from which we start.</div> -<div class="verse">The doctor, with his scalpel and his knife,</div> -<div class="verse">Discovers new means for preserving human life.</div> -<div class="verse">The inventor with his machines, human labor to supply,</div><span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_49"></a>[49]</span> -<div class="verse">To the plowman who plods on his weary way;</div> -<div class="verse">To the weaver who with his hands from day to day,</div> -<div class="verse">His cloth he did weave in the old-fashioned way.</div> -<div class="verse">The builder with his bricks of sand and clay</div> -<div class="verse">Once made with mud securely encased in hay</div> -<div class="verse">His stone, plaster, lumber, hardware and nails,</div> -<div class="verse">All made by machinery which little labor entails.</div> -<div class="verse">The merchant with his cargo laden in a ship,</div> -<div class="verse">Propelled by steam as over the deep they slip.</div> -<div class="verse">The baker with his ovens and pans,</div> -<div class="verse">Bakes and makes his bread without hands.</div> -<div class="verse">All these with telegraph and telephones supplied,</div> -<div class="verse">Carrying messages as over wires they slide,</div> -<div class="verse">With lightning speed, bringing to each his need,</div> -<div class="verse">Shortening time and obliterating space,</div> -<div class="verse">As each against the other runs his race,</div> -<div class="verse">For gains in the occupations they chase.</div> -<div class="verse">The grave lawyer sitting wise at his desk,</div> -<div class="verse">Dictating to stenographers things he may suggest,</div> -<div class="verse">About cases in court or making a report,</div><span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_50"></a>[50]</span> -<div class="verse">Of some opinion great in matters of weight</div> -<div class="verse">About all the business to which they relate</div> -<div class="verse">In the matters and things of those who wait</div> -<div class="verse">Their troubles to tell and business to state.</div> -<div class="verse">The iron horse on tracks of belted steel,</div> -<div class="verse">With throttle and valve, and whistle peal</div> -<div class="verse">Rolling over the land, propelled by steam,</div> -<div class="verse">Crossing mountain, valley and stream,</div> -<div class="verse">On tracks, rails and bridges of steel.</div> -<div class="verse">The flying machine shot up in mid air</div> -<div class="verse">Sailing over continents in feats they dare,</div> -<div class="verse">Rivaling the plumed eagle in his flight,</div> -<div class="verse">Or those swift birds that pass in a night,</div> -<div class="verse">From out their abodes beyond human sight.</div> -<div class="verse">The magic needle that points to the pole,</div> -<div class="verse">Guiding navigation on oceans untold;</div> -<div class="verse">And those brave adventurers seeking the pole,</div> -<div class="verse">Where the earth on its axis turns,</div> -<div class="verse">To find that for which their ambition burns:</div> -<div class="verse">Losing their crew in the cold, wintry snow,</div> -<div class="verse">Too weak from hunger, them to follow.</div> -<div class="verse">And onward, how far can the genius of man go?</div> -<div class="verse">With Edison, the wizard, putting on a show</div> -<div class="verse">Of actors, scenes and stage, singing as they go,</div> -<div class="verse">Talking and walking, dancing and playing airs</div> -<div class="verse">On every instrument that man’s skill prepares</div><span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_51"></a>[51]</span> -<div class="verse">All through a little machine, run by a wheel;</div> -<div class="verse">And electric apparatus he did conceal,</div> -<div class="verse">From watching eyes his invention might steal.</div> -<div class="verse">And, there’s Marconi, flashing across land and sea</div> -<div class="verse">His messages of glad tidings without wires on tree,</div> -<div class="verse">Or pole, and nothing to guide his machine,</div> -<div class="verse">So far as any one has yet seen.</div> -<div class="verse">If such men had appeared in the olden day,</div> -<div class="verse">Before Columbus had marked out the way,</div> -<div class="verse">They surely would have burned at the stake,</div> -<div class="verse">For witchcraft and all for conscience’ sake.</div> -<div class="verse">Yet with the strides men have made,</div> -<div class="verse">With sickle, sword, guns, knife and spade,</div> -<div class="verse">With piston, valve, gears, driver and wheel,</div> -<div class="verse">Driven by light, electricity, steam and heated steel,</div> -<div class="verse">Their thought flying upon the world to reveal</div> -<div class="verse">The acts and doings of nature and of man,</div> -<div class="verse">From ocean to ocean all over the broad land</div> -<div class="verse">And even over the wide extended seas we expand,</div> -<div class="verse">With telegraphic cables from land to land,</div> -<div class="verse">Bringing all the forces of nature at our command.</div> -<div class="verse">With it all, we have made a very little head</div><span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_52"></a>[52]</span> -<div class="verse">Ourselves to control, by designing leaders led.</div> -<div class="verse">Those simple rules, by which nature acts,</div> -<div class="verse">Might be applied to government its burden to relax,</div> -<div class="verse">And take from the shoulders of labor the fearful tax,</div> -<div class="verse">To support all the leaches now upon our backs.</div> -</div></div> - -<p> </p> - -<div class="figcenter"><img src="images/twocrosses.jpg" alt="" /></div> - - - -<div class="chapter"> -<h2 class="nobreak"><span class="antiqua">Blew Inn</span></h2> -</div> - -<p class="center">(A Digression)</p> - - -<div class="poetry-container"> -<div class="poetry"> -<div class="verse">A sunny Sunday morning in May,</div> -<div class="verse">Aimlessly to woods did I stray.</div> -<div class="verse">Companions none, but longing to see</div> -<div class="verse">One in like plight, I chanced upon three;</div> -<div class="verse">The Masons two, wife and man, and one,</div> -<div class="verse">A lad in his teens, made up</div> -<div class="verse">A quartet with me to fill joy’s cup.</div> -<div class="verse">With lusty minnows in pail to its fill,</div> -<div class="verse">We took up rods and pail, reels and line,</div> -<div class="verse">And, in our barque sailed forth to find</div> -<div class="verse">Some less wary of the finny kind.</div> -<div class="verse">In vain did we tempt the fickle fish;</div> -<div class="verse">But at noon instead, with a dainty dish,</div> -<div class="verse">Of eggs partly spilled and ham and things</div> -<div class="verse">Fit for appetites toil and pleasure brings,</div> -<div class="verse">We dined and ate to the brim.</div><span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_53"></a>[53]</span> -<div class="verse">Two shy frogs sitting dreamily on logs</div> -<div class="verse">Became prey to us as if native bogs.</div> -<div class="verse">Fast flew the flushing day away;</div> -<div class="verse">A trolley call, and one and all did say;</div> -<div class="verse">Shine on old sol another day.</div> -</div></div> - -<p> </p> - -<div class="figcenter"><img src="images/twocrosses.jpg" alt="" /></div> - - - - -<div class="chapter"> -<h2 class="nobreak"><span class="antiqua">Courts and Laws</span></h2> -</div> - - -<div class="poetry-container"> -<div class="poetry"> -<div class="verse">Next our courts and laws come in for review,</div> -<div class="verse">Not to gain applause, but my course to pursue.</div> -<div class="verse">Laws are rules as is taught in schools</div> -<div class="verse">To guide civil conduct into the right,</div> -<div class="verse">To redress wrongs and make us keep our plight.</div> -<div class="verse">Deeds of a certain kind are called crimes;</div> -<div class="verse">For the perpetration of which in historic times,</div> -<div class="verse">Men have sought to punish their course to stay,</div> -<div class="verse">Every one who does them in some kind of way.</div> -<div class="verse">By the power of the state men may collate,</div> -<div class="verse">All kinds of acts which by law they state</div> -<div class="verse">To be offenses for one them to perpetrate.</div> -<div class="verse">These acts in themselves, may be for our good</div> -<div class="verse">When understood, yet by the statute they would</div><span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_54"></a>[54]</span> -<div class="verse">Be crimes just the same, whether bad or good.</div> -<div class="verse">The original idea of punishment probably grew out</div> -<div class="verse">Of our natural impulse just to take a bout</div> -<div class="verse">With any fellow who ever did us any dirt</div> -<div class="verse">To see if him we could not also hurt</div> -<div class="verse">A little more, or just as much as to us he did;</div> -<div class="verse">Pull his tooth for our tooth, and his eye with the lid,</div> -<div class="verse">For our eye he did black simply to pay him back.</div> -<div class="verse">In a later day to give reasons for our laws</div> -<div class="verse">Which by the wise were sought, we had to pause,</div> -<div class="verse">So then we simply said, punish to stop crime.</div> -<div class="verse">Now suppose that I could show that in no time,</div> -<div class="verse">Did punishment ever even our crimes diminish,</div> -<div class="verse">Much less did it ever bring them to a finish.</div> -<div class="verse">Your eyes will open wide when I say to you;</div> -<div class="verse">The stopping of crimes punishment will never do.</div> -<div class="verse">Men will more chances take, your neck to break,</div> -<div class="verse">Your goods to steal, and your girls to snake</div> -<div class="verse">Off and defile, even if you are wide awake</div><span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_55"></a>[55]</span> -<div class="verse">Against the whole complicated machinery of the law,</div> -<div class="verse">Than they would by getting immediately into your claw;</div> -<div class="verse">When with weapons good, you certainly would</div> -<div class="verse">Make all respect your rights as you them understood.</div> -<div class="verse">The plan indicated above could not all at once</div> -<div class="verse">Be put into practice, for you’d be a dunce</div> -<div class="verse">To turn loose so many who had never had any</div> -<div class="verse">Training in the matter we set up as a crime.</div> -<div class="verse">The way for you to do is to drop one at a time</div> -<div class="verse">Of your statutory crimes punishable by fine,</div> -<div class="verse">Mostly passed to give jobs to a certain class</div> -<div class="verse">Of human vegetables who stalk about in brass.</div> -<div class="verse">That you may cautiously follow up the scale</div> -<div class="verse">In all its detail, and you’ll never fail</div> -<div class="verse">To accomplish good in giving people their rights</div> -<div class="verse">And in keeping them quiet and free from fights.</div> -<div class="verse">By the penitentiaries you keep and your jails</div> -<div class="verse">Where people sleep with vermin on rails;</div> -<div class="verse">Waiting for trial before jury and judge.</div><span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_56"></a>[56]</span> -<div class="verse">Weeks before they are allowed to budge,</div> -<div class="verse">Makes them have against you such a grudge;</div> -<div class="verse">That when they get loose, as they frequently do</div> -<div class="verse">They go at their old tricks with energy anew</div> -<div class="verse">To see how dastardly they can act in the crimes they do.</div> -<div class="verse">In your hatcheries of crime, the bunch you have to feed</div> -<div class="verse">Seems to be increasing with a gradual, steady speed.</div> -<div class="verse">The time may come when the gang in the walls,</div> -<div class="verse">May outnumber us when at their leader’s calls,</div> -<div class="verse">They might break out with a united band,</div> -<div class="verse">Overpower us, and devastate the land.</div> -<div class="verse">So that whatever you do, make your crimes few;</div> -<div class="verse">And those you do define, stand firmly to.</div> -<div class="verse">The more laws you have the more it’ll take</div> -<div class="verse">To handle all those who their behests break.</div> -<div class="verse">“Laws are a necessary evil” was truly said</div> -<div class="verse">By a great hero, now sleeping among the dead.</div> -<div class="verse">So the less of this evil upon ourselves we fix</div> -<div class="verse">The more good we can with our liberty mix.</div> -<div class="verse">Those progressives of you who make such ado</div><span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_57"></a>[57]</span> -<div class="verse">About our laws, and the courts in which you sue,</div> -<div class="verse">Want to fill our statutes all the way through</div> -<div class="verse">With every law and sumptuary regulation,</div> -<div class="verse">On every subject in the whole creation,</div> -<div class="verse">That, in their wrought up imagination,</div> -<div class="verse">They can conceive of to make litigation;</div> -<div class="verse">(Telling us that they comprehend the situation)</div> -<div class="verse">They’d put on the books without investigation.</div> -<div class="verse">You’d like to snake all this through,</div> -<div class="verse">Thinking that nobody is watching you;</div> -<div class="verse">But you had better try and hold yourself back;</div> -<div class="verse">We are watching you, and I am now on your track.</div> -<div class="verse">Now the courts are made the laws to enforce;</div> -<div class="verse">It is their job, and you and I of course,</div> -<div class="verse">Cannot dictate to them what laws to enforce.</div> -<div class="verse">To criticise the courts as the newspapers do</div> -<div class="verse">Might put us in contempt, the same as you</div> -<div class="verse">In some cases where you had to keep out of view;</div> -<div class="verse">Or run a lively race to keep yourself out of jail</div> -<div class="verse">By hanging on to some big lawyer’s coat-tail.</div><span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_58"></a>[58]</span> -<div class="verse">About your courts I will simply suggest</div> -<div class="verse">That whatever might be done I deem it best</div> -<div class="verse">Of the things we might do, get judges true,</div> -<div class="verse">Learned and wise, and who do not know you</div> -<div class="verse">Nor me, nor any of the folks that sue</div> -<div class="verse">Their cases in court before them;</div> -<div class="verse">The opinions they write with type or pen</div> -<div class="verse">Will be free from the bias of men then.</div> -<div class="verse">They will consider the laws, sort out the flaws</div> -<div class="verse">In each case, and every litigated cause;</div> -<div class="verse">So that the judgment they shall render</div> -<div class="verse">Making you your supposed rights surrender</div> -<div class="verse">Will be honest, no matter what we tender;</div> -<div class="verse">Although you practically sink by their blunder</div> -<div class="verse">Until in amazement you begin to wonder</div> -<div class="verse">Whether your lawyer really did plunder</div> -<div class="verse">Through all the books to get you from under</div> -<div class="verse">The load that is imposed when your case is closed</div> -<div class="verse">In the court of the judge you supposed</div> -<div class="verse">Had sense enough not to be bulldozed.</div> -</div></div> - -<p> </p> - -<div class="figcenter"><img src="images/twocrosses.jpg" alt="" /></div> - - - -<div class="chapter"> -<span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_59"></a>[59]</span> - -<h2 class="nobreak"><span class="antiqua">A Fable—Two Frogs</span></h2> -</div> - - -<div class="poetry-container"> -<div class="poetry"> -<div class="verse">Two little frogs their legs began to turn,</div> -<div class="verse">Haply leaped and jumped into a churn.</div> -<div class="verse">The churn was filled about half full</div> -<div class="verse">Of milk from which we our butter pull.</div> -<div class="verse">One frog to his mate did say:—</div> -<div class="verse">“We’re here to stay and can’t get away.</div> -<div class="verse">Now you may paddle and your head addle,</div> -<div class="verse">But I’ll bebobdaddle if I’ll saddle</div> -<div class="verse">On myself the task to get out of the flask,</div> -<div class="verse">I’m going to die, and no use to cry,</div> -<div class="verse">So good-bye,” and down he went dead.</div> -<div class="verse">The other made no reply, but paddled ahead</div> -<div class="verse">And paid no heed to what the first had said.</div> -<div class="verse">By and by a big chunk of butter came</div> -<div class="verse">And, upon the same froggie rode</div> -<div class="verse">Feeling the load off his mind throw’d.</div> -<div class="verse">In a short time there came a grunting swine</div> -<div class="verse">Walking slowly up out of his grime,</div> -<div class="verse">And shaking off his slime, rooted the churn over,</div> -<div class="verse">Letting little froggie jump in clover.</div> -</div></div> - -<p> </p> - -<div class="figcenter"><img src="images/twocrosses.jpg" alt="" /></div> - - - - -<div class="chapter"> -<h2 class="nobreak"><span class="antiqua">Socialism</span></h2> -</div> - - -<div class="poetry-container"> -<div class="poetry"> -<div class="verse">Nearly all of the animals go in herds,</div> -<div class="verse">Fishes, mammals, bees, ants, and even birds.</div> -<div class="verse">The snakes are not so socially inclined;</div><span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_60"></a>[60]</span> -<div class="verse">They had rather with none combined,</div> -<div class="verse">Slip cautiously alone and snap from behind.</div> -<div class="verse">Man has always a social animal been,</div> -<div class="verse">To get his food and commit his sin.</div> -<div class="verse">He has always stood for organizations,</div> -<div class="verse">Municipalities, states and corporations,</div> -<div class="verse">Made to protect him against depredations.</div> -<div class="verse">Whenever new thoughts take form in his head,</div> -<div class="verse">He is sure to try to have others into them led,</div> -<div class="verse">By his talks and whatever by him is said.</div> -<div class="verse">Man has made laws and written them down,</div> -<div class="verse">Telling the good people all not frown;</div> -<div class="verse">That by their consent these laws are made:</div> -<div class="verse">“The consent of the governed,”</div> -<div class="verse">Is exactly what they said.</div> -<div class="verse">That is true as the law-makers by your vote,</div> -<div class="verse">Are elected your welfare to promote.</div> -<div class="verse">Laws are rules laid down for our control,</div> -<div class="verse">Pointing out paths where we may not stroll,</div> -<div class="verse">Marking the lines in which our rights are defined,</div> -<div class="verse">Commanding and forbidding the multifarious kind</div> -<div class="verse">Of the things we must do or leave behind.</div> -<div class="verse">Some laws are on natural justice based;</div> -<div class="verse">That might be speculatively traced</div> -<div class="verse">To the dealings of man in his beginning;</div> -<div class="verse">Starting out in the races he was winning</div><span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_61"></a>[61]</span> -<div class="verse">Over his ancestors, those animals called “low,”</div> -<div class="verse">He might have come upon one not so slow;</div> -<div class="verse">Who singly could not be brought down with a blow;</div> -<div class="verse">So with his likes he combined the swift one to get</div> -<div class="verse">For their food, and their appetites to whet.</div> -<div class="verse">Now when this animal combined they took,</div> -<div class="verse">The question was up, and not a law book,</div> -<div class="verse">By which to decide who should take the hide;</div> -<div class="verse">And into what and how many parts the rest to divide:</div> -<div class="verse">So they naturally counted the number of their gang,</div> -<div class="verse">While this juicy meat did before them hang;</div> -<div class="verse">And number parts equal to the number of them</div> -<div class="verse">Was equally cut off the beast from stern to stem:</div> -<div class="verse">The meat thus divided the hide could not</div> -<div class="verse">Be usefully carved up, so they gambled for it by lot:</div> -<div class="verse">In the hand of each a pebble to throw at a spot,</div> -<div class="verse">They took to try who closest to the mark got;</div> -<div class="verse">And the one it who did the nearest hit,</div> -<div class="verse">Took away the hide for his skill and grit.</div> -<div class="verse">The idea of justice thus received</div><span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_62"></a>[62]</span> -<div class="verse">Is about as good as has ever been achieved,</div> -<div class="verse">By reading all the books in every case</div> -<div class="verse">Where the law is defined for the human race.</div> -<div class="verse">Life might be likened to a game of chance</div> -<div class="verse">And the laws, the rules by which we advance</div> -<div class="verse">Our men upon the board or throw the lance:</div> -<div class="verse">When people together their business transact,</div> -<div class="verse">Follow the rules, and courts will solve the contract.</div> -<div class="verse">When our forefathers made this Republic of ours,</div> -<div class="verse">They established a constitution limiting the powers,</div> -<div class="verse">That the government itself could exercise</div> -<div class="verse">The best to preserve our liberty they could devise.</div> -<div class="verse">Even before this fundamental law they did make,</div> -<div class="verse">Which of necessity did part of our liberty take,</div> -<div class="verse">They prefaced all our laws for me and you</div> -<div class="verse">With certain inalienable rights kept in view:</div> -<div class="verse">“That all men were created equal,” they knew;</div> -<div class="verse">“That life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness,”</div> -<div class="verse">Were set out in plain view, our land to bless.</div><span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_63"></a>[63]</span> -<div class="verse">Now every law since that date passed by the state,</div> -<div class="verse">To that extent our liberties infringe, even though we scringe;</div> -<div class="verse">And feel the distress, without redress,</div> -<div class="verse">Of many iniquitous acts, even by Congress.</div> -<div class="verse">If men were actually well-behaved,</div> -<div class="verse">Much useless trouble and expense could be saved:</div> -<div class="verse">Laws being hobbies our liberties to restrain;</div> -<div class="verse">Some barely holding us, even with tight rein.</div> -<div class="verse">The socialist man, if I do not mistake,</div> -<div class="verse">Would all restraint from our law makers take,</div> -<div class="verse">So that the state might feed and regulate</div> -<div class="verse">All the peoples who come within its gate,</div> -<div class="verse">And all others’ properties appropriate,</div> -<div class="verse">To the general good as by them understood.</div> -<div class="verse">The titles to your lands and everything good</div> -<div class="verse">That on them stands, they would concentrate</div> -<div class="verse">Into public hands whom they would nominate.</div> -<div class="verse">The labor and the work, the leaders would shirk,</div> -<div class="verse">Would be done by some one or his clerk.</div> -<div class="verse">So that we all would have a good time,</div> -<div class="verse">In our day, should we adopt their line.</div><span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_64"></a>[64]</span> -<div class="verse">“Every man has a right to work and eat”;</div> -<div class="verse">And such clap trap of verbiage we meet,</div> -<div class="verse">On every hand as we go over our land.</div> -<div class="verse">They jabber, but their sense I can’t see.</div> -<div class="verse">How can this come in the land of the free?</div> -<div class="verse">They produce arguments hoary with age,</div> -<div class="verse">Used by many a high-class sage,</div> -<div class="verse">That the ownership of property—especially land,</div> -<div class="verse">Never had a foundation on which it could stand.</div> -<div class="verse">That the whole idea was a fiction once,</div> -<div class="verse">And not to see it now one is a dunce.</div> -<div class="verse">That all your vested rights on paper,</div> -<div class="verse">Are unsound, no matter what caper</div> -<div class="verse">Folks may cut their supposed rights to hold,</div> -<div class="verse">With all their power and hoarded gold.</div> -<div class="verse">If they can unite the working man on their side,</div> -<div class="verse">They hope into power to gloriously slide.</div> -<div class="verse">The men who labor with their hands have all</div> -<div class="verse">United into bands.</div> -<div class="verse">Feeling that the little work there is to do</div> -<div class="verse">Must pay the most to the ones who pursue</div> -<div class="verse">Trades of all kinds and of every hue.</div> -<div class="verse">That the work for men to do with hands</div> -<div class="verse">Is constant, regardless of supply and demands;</div> -<div class="verse">Never once observing that the cost</div> -<div class="verse">Of production many jobs them have lost.</div><span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_65"></a>[65]</span> -<div class="verse">So even if they do get more out of that they do;</div> -<div class="verse">The valuable time lost in the trades they pursue,</div> -<div class="verse">Will more than compensate for th’ advanced rate</div> -<div class="verse">They obtain from the fewer jobs that remain.</div> -<div class="verse">Why it does not occur to them while they dream</div> -<div class="verse">What a big world this is with all its demesne,</div> -<div class="verse">Is a matter beyond explanation by what I ween.</div> -<div class="verse">That work is not confined on this big earth,</div> -<div class="verse">But spreads out to give us all a wide berth.</div> -<div class="verse">Against trusts and monied corporations,</div> -<div class="verse">Men in their stations might form associations</div> -<div class="verse">Their rights to demand and their wrongs to reduce,</div> -<div class="verse">But against th’ individual there is no excuse,</div> -<div class="verse">Why unions upon him should heap their abuse.</div> -<div class="verse">If one build a house to cover up his head,</div> -<div class="verse">Why should union labor try to kill him dead,</div> -<div class="verse">By making the cost so high that none can buy,</div> -<div class="verse">Houses building now far and nigh.</div><span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_66"></a>[66]</span> -<div class="verse">But all these perplexing questions are upon us;</div> -<div class="verse">And the merits and demerits we must discuss,</div> -<div class="verse">If practical socialism must come,</div> -<div class="verse">We must face it, each and every one.</div> -<div class="verse">By the brotherhood of man, maybe we can</div> -<div class="verse">Find a way to harmonize every tribe and clan</div> -<div class="verse">And save this civilization for the good of man.</div> -</div></div> - -<p> </p> - -<div class="figcenter"><img src="images/twocrosses.jpg" alt="" /></div> - - - - -<div class="chapter"> -<h2 class="nobreak"><span class="antiqua">The Public</span></h2> -</div> - - -<div class="poetry-container"> -<div class="poetry"> -<div class="verse">My subject here is simply a term to express</div> -<div class="verse">“A somewhat,” the nature of which is a guess.</div> -<div class="verse">Of the substance contained in the above term,</div> -<div class="verse">It seems almost impossible for one to learn,</div> -<div class="verse">No image of it in his mind can he conceive,</div> -<div class="verse">Reflects the intelligence he’d wish to receive.</div> -<div class="verse">What the public looks like or is,</div> -<div class="verse">Is more than you can tell or wis.</div> -<div class="verse">According to some it’s “ideas in th’ abstract.”</div> -<div class="verse">So let us take that for the real fact.</div> -<div class="verse">The public does not seem to be you or I</div><span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_67"></a>[67]</span> -<div class="verse">Or anybody else—I’ll tell you why;</div> -<div class="verse">Whoever or whatever the thing may be,</div> -<div class="verse">He, she, or it shoulders blame for you and me,</div> -<div class="verse">For wickedness done in his dear name,</div> -<div class="verse">And credit for intended good, the same,</div> -<div class="verse">In very many cases that men declaim.</div> -<div class="verse">If a bunch of grafters wish to float a deal,</div> -<div class="verse">Say in baking powder, wheat, or oat meal;</div> -<div class="verse">First the public pulse they scientifically feel,</div> -<div class="verse">To discover signs of fever germs in foods,</div> -<div class="verse">We’ve been eating, and such other goods</div> -<div class="verse">Of the same kinds we’ve bought all our lives,</div> -<div class="verse">And from which others are supporting wives,</div> -<div class="verse">And children as they’ve done all their lives.</div> -<div class="verse">Of course their doctor this pulse carefully felt,</div> -<div class="verse">And discovered that germ tracks were smelt</div> -<div class="verse">In most of the stuff we put in our pelt.</div> -<div class="verse">He discovered too that alum would</div> -<div class="verse">Dry up the diaphragm if used in food.</div> -<div class="verse">Also that certain foods contained sand,</div> -<div class="verse">That might get into the public craw, and</div> -<div class="verse">Brace them up too much to patriotically vote</div> -<div class="verse">For such a pure food law as they’d like to float.</div> -<div class="verse">So after their analysis was properly wrote,</div><span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_68"></a>[68]</span> -<div class="verse">They get their pure food law nicely framed up</div> -<div class="verse">To suit their scheme and for the people to gulp.</div> -<div class="verse">Then their bugle horns they did blare,</div> -<div class="verse">And it carried before we were aware.</div> -</div></div> - -<p> </p> - -<div class="figcenter"><img src="images/twocrosses.jpg" alt="" /></div> - - - - -<div class="chapter"> -<h2 class="nobreak"><span class="antiqua">Physicians</span></h2> -</div> - - -<div class="poetry-container"> -<div class="poetry"> -<div class="verse">In olden times, doctors and barbers were the same,</div> -<div class="verse">As we find in books from which we always gain</div> -<div class="verse">Information on all such historic matter.</div> -<div class="verse">As bleeding was the thing then to batter</div> -<div class="verse">Out diseases the striped pole must be</div> -<div class="verse">An emblematic relic of the blood running free</div> -<div class="verse">Down and around our hip, thigh and knee.</div> -<div class="verse">But the two trades have been now long separated;</div> -<div class="verse">And while neither should be underestimated</div> -<div class="verse">And both receive their due from me and you,</div> -<div class="verse">The barbers’ trade is not really and truly due</div> -<div class="verse">As much criticism as is the medicine crew.</div> -<div class="verse">There are plenty of fine physicians and surgeons,</div><span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_69"></a>[69]</span> -<div class="verse">Who receive their praise from us in legions;</div> -<div class="verse">But the “money-rosis” has struck the doctors</div> -<div class="verse">As other trades, including divorce proctors.</div> -<div class="verse">I well remember in the days long past,</div> -<div class="verse">Pulse felt, and a look at the color the tongue cast,</div> -<div class="verse">When the doctor was done, and no more was asked.</div> -<div class="verse">He said it was simply chills and fever he did believe,</div> -<div class="verse">Which a good dose of calomel or blue mass would relieve,</div> -<div class="verse">All of which the patient did then and there receive.</div> -<div class="verse">You might have had a slight pain in your head,</div> -<div class="verse">And you were advised to lie still in bed.</div> -<div class="verse">Now call a doctor your wife to see,</div> -<div class="verse">And while you sent for only one to fee,</div> -<div class="verse">Two or three more and sometimes a score,</div> -<div class="verse">To handle the different parts of the sore,</div> -<div class="verse">Come in and watch around your door;</div> -<div class="verse">Especially if you’ve got money, and get more.</div> -<div class="verse">If you fall and bruise your knee or elbow</div> -<div class="verse">A specialist must come to whom they show</div> -<div class="verse">Some of the dirt from the place around,</div> -<div class="verse">To ascertain if any microbes are found.</div> -<div class="verse">If a cough or cold comes in your head,</div> -<div class="verse">A sample or two of the sputum that you shed,</div><span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_70"></a>[70]</span> -<div class="verse">Is sealed up and sent away to be analyzed.</div> -<div class="verse">They always find ’em, so don’t be surprised.</div> -<div class="verse">And if plenty of money you can get</div> -<div class="verse">To pay all this cost and never sweat,</div> -<div class="verse">When your bills at home are all paid,</div> -<div class="verse">You’ll be then sent off on dress parade.</div> -<div class="verse">Doctors never come now and find you well;</div> -<div class="verse">Your ailments have names you cannot spell.</div> -<div class="verse">And when you ask what you’re about to take</div> -<div class="verse">The awful malady you have to try to shake</div> -<div class="verse">To pronounce its name your jawbone’ll break.</div> -<div class="verse">As simple a dose as soda and rain water</div> -<div class="verse">At the drug store will cost you a quarter.</div> -<div class="verse">All diseases now come straight from bacilli</div> -<div class="verse">Seen through those microscopes they buy.</div> -<div class="verse">Let these germs once your systems fill</div> -<div class="verse">You just as well not make your will,</div> -<div class="verse">It’ll take the farm to pay your doctor bill,</div> -<div class="verse">All diseases have now become contagious.</div> -<div class="verse">And their catching qualities outrageous.</div> -<div class="verse">When you walk do not spit on the street,</div> -<div class="verse">Lest your saliva infect those you meet.</div> -<div class="verse">No trains are allowed to have a drinking cup</div> -<div class="verse">In which others drink, lest you swallow up</div> -<div class="verse">The other fellow’s germs sticking to the glass</div> -<div class="verse">Of the family of microbes in the tubercular class.</div><span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_71"></a>[71]</span> -<div class="verse">No comb or brush is found to smooth your hair,</div> -<div class="verse">They’re prohibited and blacklisted everywhere.</div> -<div class="verse">All your water must be thoroughly boiled</div> -<div class="verse">And its palatable flavor entirely spoiled,</div> -<div class="verse">To slay the ferocious germs in it coiled.</div> -<div class="verse">And even the milk from your fat Jersey cow</div> -<div class="verse">Should be pasteurized as never before till now.</div> -<div class="verse">We might run down the whole category</div> -<div class="verse">Till you were tired, and I get hoary,</div> -<div class="verse">But these very things are the doctor’s glory.</div> -<div class="verse">Of course they are trying to lengthen life’s span,</div> -<div class="verse">And I’m not going to censure them if I can,</div> -<div class="verse">Only caution them to be easy as they can.</div> -<div class="verse">They don’t catch me often, my father was a physician,</div> -<div class="verse">And before he died, he made it his mission</div> -<div class="verse">To post me and make me wise on this score.</div> -<div class="verse">I have sometimes felt peevish and sore</div> -<div class="verse">Because father was too honest to lay up a store</div> -<div class="verse">For me to spend when I life began;</div> -<div class="verse">My father was above all an honest man.</div> -<div class="verse">Once my wife took pneumonic cough</div> -<div class="verse">And we for a doctor sent right off.</div> -<div class="verse">He came and found genuine bacilli.</div> -<div class="verse">Scared me, and made the wife almost cry.</div> -<div class="verse">They analyzed, criticised and diagnosed</div><span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_72"></a>[72]</span> -<div class="verse">And sent her away, with my house closed;</div> -<div class="verse">And for nights I scarcely dozed.</div> -<div class="verse">They gave her just six months of life</div> -<div class="verse">Before consumption would part me and my wife.</div> -<div class="verse">My plucky woman partly believed what they said,</div> -<div class="verse">And moped around a while and stayed in bed.</div> -<div class="verse">I had some doubts about what the specialists said,</div> -<div class="verse">And relied a little on what an old friend read,</div> -<div class="verse">Who had much practical experience, she said.</div> -<div class="verse">Of course my doubts about science I hate to tell,</div> -<div class="verse">But in a few weeks the wife was entirely well.</div> -<div class="verse">If the doctor wants to, let him tell</div> -<div class="verse">Why into the aforesaid mistake he fell.</div> -<div class="verse">Now you had all better beware and treat us fair,</div> -<div class="verse">If you have doubts about what our troubles are</div> -<div class="verse">Just do your best, and let nature do the rest.</div> -</div></div> - -<p> </p> -<div class="figcenter"><img src="images/twocrosses.jpg" alt="" /></div> - - - -<div class="chapter"> -<span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_73"></a>[73]</span> - -<h2 class="nobreak"><span class="antiqua">Theologians</span></h2> -</div> - - -<div class="poetry-container"> -<div class="poetry"> -<div class="verse">For the preacher’s trade one should have a call,</div> -<div class="verse">As has been said concerning the apostle Paul;</div> -<div class="verse">Who with power armed with writs to haul</div> -<div class="verse">Before magistrates Christians one and all,</div> -<div class="verse">And lodge them in jails subject to call</div> -<div class="verse">To be prosecuted in the name of the state</div> -<div class="verse">For sayings of Christ they did relate.</div> -<div class="verse">“Why persecutest thou me?” the Master said;</div> -<div class="verse">Then Saul, afterwards Paul, fell as one dead.</div> -<div class="verse">When he came to be had a call to preach,</div> -<div class="verse">So he went forth all nations to teach.</div> -<div class="verse">Not many of you preachers ever had a call,</div> -<div class="verse">Nor down as dead did any of you ever fall.</div> -<div class="verse">Most of you took to preaching to have something to do,</div> -<div class="verse">Although the picking is getting short for some of you,</div> -<div class="verse">If the newspaper accounts I’m reading be true.</div> -<div class="verse">When the lawyer’s job in the country gets short,</div> -<div class="verse">He adds insurance, abstracts, and things of that sort;</div> -<div class="verse">But when the preacher’s picking isn’t very good</div><span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_74"></a>[74]</span> -<div class="verse">He’d have ice-cream suppers whenever he could;</div> -<div class="verse">Or even quiltings and sewing society aid,</div> -<div class="verse">Eked out with dinners and sale of lemonade.</div> -<div class="verse">I notice now you’re going to take course</div> -<div class="verse">In farming to teach the brethren of the rural force;</div> -<div class="verse">But I’m afraid that if you begin shoot’n off your head</div> -<div class="verse">To some of those old rustics to help earn your bread,</div> -<div class="verse">You might get a set’n back worse than Old Ned,</div> -<div class="verse">Or even than Saul got when he fell as dead.</div> -<div class="verse">Farmers have ideas of their own they’ve tried;</div> -<div class="verse">And wouldn’t listen to the pastor or turn aside,</div> -<div class="verse">For his book learning he had himself supplied</div> -<div class="verse">While off at college that had never been tried.</div> -<div class="verse">You might do better holding to the plow,</div> -<div class="verse">While your brother farmer was milking his cow,</div> -<div class="verse">Feeding his stock and chopping his wood,</div> -<div class="verse">And in that way would do him more good.</div> -<div class="verse">But the best way for all is to wait for this call.</div> -<div class="verse">And don’t be in a hurry to be preachers at all.</div><span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_75"></a>[75]</span> -<div class="verse">If you wait a real call to actually hear,</div> -<div class="verse">You’ll be working soon and will not have to fear,</div> -<div class="verse">Without any other call than nature gives</div> -<div class="verse">To every animal that on earth now lives;</div> -<div class="verse">To be up and doing his fellow man to bless,</div> -<div class="verse">Which while doing you’ll keep from distress.</div> -</div></div> -<p> </p> -<div class="figcenter"><img src="images/twocrosses.jpg" alt="" /></div> - - - - -<div class="chapter"> -<h2 class="nobreak"><span class="antiqua">Lawyers</span></h2> -</div> - - -<div class="poetry-container"> -<div class="poetry"> -<div class="verse">To attorneys, advocates, and counsellors all,</div> -<div class="verse">I’m not afraid to speak to you about your call;</div> -<div class="verse">Not afraid to give advice, I’m one of you,</div> -<div class="verse">You may heed, or I don’t care what you do.</div> -<div class="verse">You give advice and charge for the same;</div> -<div class="verse">Mine I freely give, and you get the gain.</div> -<div class="verse">When you get free what to others you sell,</div> -<div class="verse">You’ve something to brag about and tell.</div> -<div class="verse">I like you, you bunch of jolly good fellows,</div> -<div class="verse">Though you sometimes lunch like Col. Sellers.</div> -<div class="verse">And your Sunday suit gets so slick,</div> -<div class="verse">That a fly cannot walk on it and stick.</div> -<div class="verse">You too are letting people into your trade.</div> -<div class="verse">Deeds and legal papers are so easily made,</div> -<div class="verse">By real estate agents filling out blanks</div> -<div class="verse">Those you write are paid for in thanks.</div><span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_76"></a>[76]</span> -<div class="verse">You sit in your office with high-propped feet,</div> -<div class="verse">Longing for a friend to invite you out to eat,</div> -<div class="verse">Or waiting for a client to bring around a fee.</div> -<div class="verse">Sometimes you read or skip around in glee,</div> -<div class="verse">To make the impression that your mind is free;</div> -<div class="verse">And that you have plenty of work to do;</div> -<div class="verse">And never for a moment take a solemn view</div> -<div class="verse">Of how fast business is flying away from you.</div> -<div class="verse">Some of you are learning on a motor cycle to ride,</div> -<div class="verse">So when an accident occurs you are by the side</div> -<div class="verse">Of the injured one to get a damage suit</div> -<div class="verse">Against the company whose coffers you’d loot.</div> -<div class="verse">Some of you join the gang and get in politics,</div> -<div class="verse">To get some legal job they may help you fix.</div> -<div class="verse">One of you stirs up strife against divorce,</div> -<div class="verse">And gets to be proctor on the welfare force,</div> -<div class="verse">And gets a small salary as a matter of course.</div> -<div class="verse">Some get to be orators public affairs to discuss.</div> -<div class="verse">And get the press over you to make a fuss;</div> -<div class="verse">In that way you advertise your brains good</div><span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_77"></a>[77]</span> -<div class="verse">To swing a big case and get a livelihood.</div> -<div class="verse">Some join with unions to fight against the trusts,</div> -<div class="verse">Others against the unions sling their deadly thrusts.</div> -<div class="verse">Thus in battle array, some right and some wrong,</div> -<div class="verse">We manage in some way to push ourselves along.</div> -<div class="verse">The race of the old-time lawyers is nearly extinct</div> -<div class="verse">To whose memory my fond thoughts are linked.</div> -<div class="verse">I know a few whose names I’ll not give to you</div> -<div class="verse">Owing to my plan I intend to follow through,</div> -<div class="verse">Not to give names unless to represent a crew.</div> -<div class="verse">You know some yourself not in the law for pelf;</div> -<div class="verse">I’m one myself if into my record you care to look,</div> -<div class="verse">If I hadn’t been I need not have written a book</div> -<div class="verse">To make a little stake to put away for a rainy day.</div> -<div class="verse">Lawyers are not dishonest, no matter what you say,</div> -<div class="verse">Except when they serve you to get their pay.</div><span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_78"></a>[78]</span> -<div class="verse">They have to be deceiving to keep up with you:</div> -<div class="verse">You will not take your case you wish to sue</div> -<div class="verse">To some attorney who could not stand for you.</div> -<div class="verse">You know the attorney stands in your place,</div> -<div class="verse">And to an honest one you dare not show your face.</div> -<div class="verse">I’ve known lawyers who courted the name of crook,</div> -<div class="verse">Merely to catch grafters on their own hook.</div> -<div class="verse">You know well when you are sued that you choose</div> -<div class="verse">An attorney who will by any ruse, you excuse</div> -<div class="verse">To the jury who tried your case for the deeds,</div> -<div class="verse">You did, and you know you did not get your meeds.</div> -<div class="verse">So shut up your mouth and hie yourself home;</div> -<div class="verse">The subject of judges and lawyers leave alone.</div> -<div class="verse">Lawyers have always been pillars of the state</div> -<div class="verse">To uphold our institutions you’d annihilate.</div> -<div class="verse">Their trade is not alone on paper made;</div> -<div class="verse">It comes from growth by development’s aid.</div> -<div class="verse">It’s the garnered experience of all the ages,</div> -<div class="verse">Written in books upon numberless pages.</div> -<div class="verse">It has stood when empires fell,</div><span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_79"></a>[79]</span> -<div class="verse">When to the despots they did loudly tell</div> -<div class="verse">Of justice upon him the law’d compel;</div> -<div class="verse">It has stood against strife, slaughter and blood,</div> -<div class="verse">When other trades and institutions never could;</div> -<div class="verse">It rises in the right, iniquity to fight,</div> -<div class="verse">To protect the weak against men of might,</div> -<div class="verse">Over widows and orphans its protecting arm</div> -<div class="verse">Is extended to save the mortgaged farm;</div> -<div class="verse">It shields the criminal against the crazy mob</div> -<div class="verse">Giving him a trial of which they’d him rob.</div> -<div class="verse">For peace and order and justice in the land</div> -<div class="verse">Let us ever as true lawyers stand.</div> -</div></div> -<p> </p> -<div class="figcenter"><img src="images/twocrosses.jpg" alt="" /></div> - - - - -<div class="chapter"> -<h2 class="nobreak"><span class="antiqua">Names</span></h2> -</div> - - -<div class="poetry-container"> -<div class="poetry"> -<div class="verse">By the use of names we designate</div> -<div class="verse">Some particular thing, person or state.</div> -<div class="verse">The naming of animals in the first place,</div> -<div class="verse">Was put upon Adam as father of the race.</div> -<div class="verse">This job imposed upon him no great task,</div> -<div class="verse">Because no one’s permission he had to ask,</div> -<div class="verse">Whether the name suited mule or cow,</div> -<div class="verse">Or the name horse he might to kid allow.</div> -<div class="verse">Now the names of animals who came</div> -<div class="verse">Before him in a long-extended train,</div><span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_80"></a>[80]</span> -<div class="verse">They had to take those which for them he did book</div> -<div class="verse">Because they did not have a list over which to look.</div> -<div class="verse">All proper names men can find,</div> -<div class="verse">Have been so often used by men of their kind,</div> -<div class="verse">That when a child is about to be born,</div> -<div class="verse">Into the world, the name it shall adorn</div> -<div class="verse">Has to be taken from the long list</div> -<div class="verse">Of those gone before, or who still persist.</div> -<div class="verse">Although we have quite a long catalogue,</div> -<div class="verse">We still have to search and our memory jog</div> -<div class="verse">To ascertain the character of the ones</div> -<div class="verse">Who bore the name about to be given to our sons;</div> -<div class="verse">Because any name may have been soiled</div> -<div class="verse">By its owner around whom might be coiled</div> -<div class="verse">The evidence of some offense the name to suffuse</div> -<div class="verse">Before the time we it did choose.</div> -<div class="verse">The likes and dislikes for names we take,</div> -<div class="verse">Come mostly from the character of the namesake.</div> -<div class="verse">A lot of names might be brought to view:</div> -<div class="verse">Like Jennie, Sallie, Mollie, Kate and Sue;</div> -<div class="verse">Or Perkins, Phelps, Pickering, and Penn,</div> -<div class="verse">And a whole book full of names for women and men.</div> -<div class="verse">The others need not here be enrolled,</div> -<div class="verse">In this little volume, or by me polled.</div><span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_81"></a>[81]</span> -<div class="verse">The things that did once make names great</div> -<div class="verse">Generally were acts done for the state,</div> -<div class="verse">Mostly in war, e. g., Alexander the Great,</div> -<div class="verse">Or Caesar, or even Napoleon the Sedate.</div> -<div class="verse">Sometimes names receive much eclat</div> -<div class="verse">At home, as well as near and far,</div> -<div class="verse">Like Washington, or our Jefferson,</div> -<div class="verse">And also Cleveland and Lincoln,</div> -<div class="verse">By statesmanship with head and brain</div> -<div class="verse">For the public good when peace did reign.</div> -<div class="verse">There used to be a time, now almost past,</div> -<div class="verse">When patriotism was then in full blast,</div> -<div class="verse">That men would sometimes almost actually do things</div> -<div class="verse">With no other pay than the consolation it brings,</div> -<div class="verse">Simply to be esteemed just, good and true,</div> -<div class="verse">With no other motive than to bless me and you.</div> -<div class="verse">But now of late men look upon the state</div> -<div class="verse">Simply as a fat goose for them down,</div> -<div class="verse">As o’er them her wings may spread around,</div> -<div class="verse">To hover and her blessings bring down.</div> -<div class="verse">The offices men fill to uphold the law,</div> -<div class="verse">Or collect our revenues to fat their maw</div> -<div class="verse">Are held mostly by ones we did not choose,</div> -<div class="verse">Who with politicians by some sharp ruse</div> -<div class="verse">Got nominated and elected against our views;</div> -<div class="verse">And when elected frame up bills</div> -<div class="verse">For legislation that their own pocket fills,</div><span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_82"></a>[82]</span> -<div class="verse">Regardless of the trouble and all the ills,</div> -<div class="verse">That fall upon the public that foots the bills.</div> -<div class="verse">New bureaus are made about everything</div> -<div class="verse">To which a gang of leaches can cling;</div> -<div class="verse">With their matrons, clerks and superintendents,</div> -<div class="verse">All hangers-on and their bunch of dependents,</div> -<div class="verse">Disgracing all over our broad land,</div> -<div class="verse">On every hand, the very name of man:</div> -<div class="verse">I fear that our present civilization cannot stand,</div> -<div class="verse">To live down the iniquity by them thus began.</div> -<div class="verse">The euphonious name of Guggenheimer,</div> -<div class="verse">Sipniski, Schradski, or even Joe Reimer,</div> -<div class="verse">Now is fine if their amounts in bank,</div> -<div class="verse">Stood their drafts and never shrank</div> -<div class="verse">Below the balance they had on hand</div> -<div class="verse">With the banks throughout the land.</div> -<div class="verse">A good name is appraised above riches,</div> -<div class="verse">But to keep that good to which one hitches,</div> -<div class="verse">When anyone can claim any name he likes</div> -<div class="verse">And ruin it forever, when off he hikes</div> -<div class="verse">To Canada or Old Mexico to get away</div> -<div class="verse">From the crimes he did in his day;</div> -<div class="verse">Making the name disgraceful he wears,</div> -<div class="verse">And none of the same name spares</div> -<div class="verse">From sharing the shame brought on the name,</div> -<div class="verse">To us, innocent and free from blame,</div><span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_83"></a>[83]</span> -<div class="verse">Except for the acts he did against our name.</div> -<div class="verse">Ambition leads us to attempt undying fame,</div> -<div class="verse">That after we are dead and in our grave</div> -<div class="verse">Our name shall live that we did engrave</div> -<div class="verse">Among the world’s heroes on every page</div> -<div class="verse">Of history that dies not with old age.</div> -<div class="verse">But everything to make us famous or great</div> -<div class="verse">Has been by someone, somewhere in every state</div> -<div class="verse">Of civilization accomplished and achieved,</div> -<div class="verse">So no chance is left for us, though grieved.</div> -<div class="verse">So let us not try to make our names great;</div> -<div class="verse">But instead, unite to rescue our own state,</div> -<div class="verse">From the clutches of the vultures at its heart;</div> -<div class="verse">And if we succeed at that, when we depart,</div> -<div class="verse">Those left behind will bear us in mind,</div> -<div class="verse">And write our names in the highest place they find.</div> -</div></div> -<p> </p> -<div class="figcenter"><img src="images/twocrosses.jpg" alt="" /></div> - - - - -<div class="chapter"> -<h2 class="nobreak"><span class="antiqua">Universal Peace</span></h2> -</div> - - -<div class="poetry-container"> -<div class="poetry"> -<div class="verse">In all the past the records are full of war;</div> -<div class="verse">Men had one desire to be in a continual jar;</div> -<div class="verse">Or else the peaceful victories they did win</div> -<div class="verse">Were not such as they wrote therein.</div> -<div class="verse">Each nation, tribe, and men of ancient race</div> -<div class="verse">For each other had nothing but hatred and menace.</div><span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_84"></a>[84]</span> -<div class="verse">Upon the boundaries and rights of each,</div> -<div class="verse">The other did recklessly go to reach,</div> -<div class="verse">With rapine and murder in their hearts,</div> -<div class="verse">To snatch from each other all such parts</div> -<div class="verse">Of their lands, and their goods to confiscate,</div> -<div class="verse">As could be done by the hordes they did aggregate.</div> -<div class="verse">Their warriors and men to subjugate,</div> -<div class="verse">Their women and fair maids to subject</div> -<div class="verse">To brutality, and any other object</div> -<div class="verse">As they chose upon them to impose.</div> -<div class="verse">There were only two kinds in those times</div> -<div class="verse">Of peoples on earth, those in their own confines,</div> -<div class="verse">And barbarians who dwelt anywhere else,</div> -<div class="verse">Regardless of who they were, Goths, Huns or Celts.</div> -<div class="verse">No tie of sympathy was known or recognized,</div> -<div class="verse">Between those different tribes;</div> -<div class="verse">Each for the other was lawful prize.</div> -<div class="verse">Robbery, theft, and murder were terms,</div> -<div class="verse">Applied to deeds committed at home;</div> -<div class="verse">These same acts out where they did roam,</div> -<div class="verse">Were designated bravery and prowess,</div> -<div class="verse">When upon barbarians they did egress,</div> -<div class="verse">With battle-axe, darts, helmet and shield,</div> -<div class="verse">Bent on the slaughter of their fellow man;</div> -<div class="verse">For conquest and glory, they led the van;</div> -<div class="verse">Over mountains filled with perpetual snow,</div><span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_85"></a>[85]</span> -<div class="verse">Into heated valleys where the sun did glow;</div> -<div class="verse">They fought for pride, religion and show;</div> -<div class="verse">As upon crowned heads they wore</div> -<div class="verse">Laurels of victory for blood and gore.</div> -<div class="verse">But now has dawned a better day;</div> -<div class="verse">From ocean to ocean where men survey</div> -<div class="verse">Their lands and the boundaries fix</div> -<div class="verse">Where rights of each the line restricts;</div> -<div class="verse">And treaties with one nation is made</div> -<div class="verse">With others to settle their commerce and trade.</div> -<div class="verse">They bring across oceans in merchant marine,</div> -<div class="verse">Luxuries of life now by us all seen,</div> -<div class="verse">Grown and shipped from the uttermost lands,</div> -<div class="verse">Divided from us by seas, deserts and sands.</div> -<div class="verse">Those natural laws we are learning to use,</div> -<div class="verse">Based upon justice according to the views</div> -<div class="verse">Of publicists and statesmen applied</div> -<div class="verse">To nations dealing with nations the world wide.</div> -<div class="verse">Now the crude implements of death once used</div> -<div class="verse">By ancients, are thrown aside and refused.</div> -<div class="verse">In place of triremes propelled by oars,</div> -<div class="verse">Steel-clad battleships ride by scores,</div> -<div class="verse">Manned with guns throwing missiles miles;</div> -<div class="verse">Around our coasts and adjacent isles;</div> -<div class="verse">Our barricades and our battlements,</div> -<div class="verse">Our field glasses and our armaments;</div><span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_86"></a>[86]</span> -<div class="verse">Our powder in guns and in mines,</div> -<div class="verse">With deadly explosives of all kinds,</div> -<div class="verse">Making killing a thing of skill</div> -<div class="verse">Upon the thousands our inventions kill,</div> -<div class="verse">All are bringing war to a standstill.</div> -<div class="verse">No longer do we hand to hand in war engage;</div> -<div class="verse">Foes rushing foes with eyes in a rage;</div> -<div class="verse">Instead, the scientific gunner his aim to gauge,</div> -<div class="verse">Miles away, his gun adjusting to suit,</div> -<div class="verse">Deals death to thousands, wherever he may shoot;</div> -<div class="verse">With no malice in his heart, by electric touch,</div> -<div class="verse">Some mine is exploded, killing and destroying as much</div> -<div class="verse">In a single blow, as was done in a day the old way;</div> -<div class="verse">And in all the soldiers are out of the fray.</div> -<div class="verse">Why should we slaughter and fellow men slay,</div> -<div class="verse">In this unimpassioned, calculating, scientific way?</div> -<div class="verse">If such things, done by the whole nation,</div> -<div class="verse">Were done by one, it’d be murder in our estimation.</div> -<div class="verse">Inventions and knowledge lead towards peace;</div> -<div class="verse">And the frequency of war decrease;</div> -<div class="verse">The more we know of our fellowman.</div><span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_87"></a>[87]</span> -<div class="verse">The less we like to cut off his span.</div> -<div class="verse">So let the dove of peace hover over the globe,</div> -<div class="verse">And in humanity’s cause we ourselves enrobe;</div> -<div class="verse">Till from war and all its sickening pall,</div> -<div class="verse">We advance, and universal peace install;</div> -<div class="verse">And we may, unless we get up a protocol,</div> -<div class="verse">Over which we may fight to see who is right,</div> -<div class="verse">In the interpretation thereof withal.</div> -</div></div> -<p> </p> -<div class="figcenter"><img src="images/twocrosses.jpg" alt="" /></div> - - - - -<div class="chapter"> -<h2 class="nobreak"><span class="antiqua">Music</span></h2> -</div> - - -<div class="poetry-container"> -<div class="poetry"> -<div class="verse">About the subject of music what can I say?</div> -<div class="verse">That mystical combination we sing and play?</div> -<div class="verse">The origin of which none seem to know;</div> -<div class="verse">For as far back into the past as we can go,</div> -<div class="verse">From the time that Circe and her maids,</div> -<div class="verse">In their lonely isle of forests and glades,</div> -<div class="verse">Their magic spells, in song, upon the sailor wrought,</div> -<div class="verse">With all his crew, to their abode they brought,</div> -<div class="verse">To change them to swine from the forms of men;</div> -<div class="verse">Until wise Ulysses, by some godlike ken,</div> -<div class="verse">Undid the deed done his men confined in a pen;</div><span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_88"></a>[88]</span> -<div class="verse">Or when Orpheus with his lyre in his hand,</div> -<div class="verse">Held his sway through th’ enchanted land.</div> -<div class="verse">So ’twould be a waste of valuable time,</div> -<div class="verse">The history and origin of music to put into rhyme.</div> -<div class="verse">It seems that it has long over us held sway;</div> -<div class="verse">Back from the long ago to the present day.</div> -<div class="verse">But in all times before this day of ours,</div> -<div class="verse">When men have harnessed th’ unseen powers:</div> -<div class="verse">It did take the skill of finger tips</div> -<div class="verse">Or the trill of throat and puckered lips,</div> -<div class="verse">To wake from vibrations thereby made,</div> -<div class="verse">The thrilling chant and sweet serenade.</div> -<div class="verse">But now with pricking pins of steel,</div> -<div class="verse">Those same vibrations come from turn of wheel,</div> -<div class="verse">When in dents lightly made on a disc,</div> -<div class="verse">Which around and around we playfully whisk;</div> -<div class="verse">The pin points strike in and then out,</div> -<div class="verse">As the thing is whirled about;</div> -<div class="verse">And, by magnifying the scratching it makes</div> -<div class="verse">The picture of the whole sound action it takes;</div> -<div class="verse">And reproduces the vibrations on our ear,</div> -<div class="verse">Of an opera or any piece we wish to hear.</div> -<div class="verse">By the numerous machines by inventors made,</div> -<div class="verse">The sweet music once by human skill played,</div><span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_89"></a>[89]</span> -<div class="verse">Has passed into commerce of daily trade.</div> -<div class="verse">For a few dollars one can buy,</div> -<div class="verse">A music maker if he will but try.</div> -<div class="verse">Although the music thus made is not the real thing;</div> -<div class="verse">Yet instruments are designed that give it the ring.</div> -<div class="verse">True music that really stirs the hearts of men</div> -<div class="verse">That comes from the masters with the pen,</div> -<div class="verse">Must be by human skill played,</div> -<div class="verse">As ever behind its dress parade,</div> -<div class="verse">Stands the soul of the master, flowing with the sound,</div> -<div class="verse">As it comes to our ears in tones profound,</div> -<div class="verse">Or tintinnabulations of drum or fife,</div> -<div class="verse">Calling us to war and its deadly strife;</div> -<div class="verse">Or those mysterious strains of the violin,</div> -<div class="verse">In the hands of the artist held in,</div> -<div class="verse">By his neck, hands, shoulders and chin</div> -<div class="verse">So none can tell where he stops for fiddle to begin;</div> -<div class="verse">Both moving together in such perfect time</div> -<div class="verse">As we sit in rapture, listening to the chime.</div> -<div class="verse">Will ever the sense of music in man,</div> -<div class="verse">Having remained since history began,</div> -<div class="verse">Be obliterated in time to come;</div> -<div class="verse">And his taste for sounds become numb,</div> -<div class="verse">By the strain on him these machines make,</div> -<div class="verse">Hounding him by their grating sleep or wake,</div><span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_90"></a>[90]</span> -<div class="verse">By the screeching buzzes they make;</div> -<div class="verse">With our songs all ground up into rag,</div> -<div class="verse">Even the stirring ones of the glorious flag,</div> -<div class="verse">And those sedate hymns sang in church</div> -<div class="verse">Which ragtime has sought to besmirch.</div> -<div class="verse">But of all of this let us not complain,</div> -<div class="verse">Even if we lose our desire for the grand refrain;</div> -<div class="verse">Maybe some time the genius of the great,</div> -<div class="verse">Will some better sense create,</div> -<div class="verse">For its loss fully to compensate.</div> -</div></div> -<p> </p> -<div class="figcenter"><img src="images/twocrosses.jpg" alt="" /></div> - - - -<div class="chapter"> -<h2 class="nobreak"><span class="antiqua">Painting and Art</span></h2> -</div> - - -<div class="poetry-container"> -<div class="poetry"> -<div class="verse">When I think over the subject of painting and art</div> -<div class="verse">Nothing occurs new that to you I can impart</div> -<div class="verse">Which might bring reformation in the way</div> -<div class="verse">These subjects could be treated in our day.</div> -<div class="verse">The men of ancient times, with keen vision,</div> -<div class="verse">Bent over canvas and marble with a precision</div> -<div class="verse">Not equalled or surpassed, marking lines of light</div> -<div class="verse">And shades, bringing life and nature into full sight,</div> -<div class="verse">Throwing upon cloth the earth and beclouded sky.</div><span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_91"></a>[91]</span> -<div class="verse">With its valleys green and mountains high,</div> -<div class="verse">Divided into parts with ever-widening and winding streams,</div> -<div class="verse">Their shores lined with foliage green and rocks in seams;</div> -<div class="verse">And scraggy trees, as through them the moonbeams</div> -<div class="verse">Throw their mild and mellow light in shimmering sheen;</div> -<div class="verse">And fading lines of landscape merging into sky,</div> -<div class="verse">With its diversified colors upon our watching eye;</div> -<div class="verse">And from the dead, cold marble stand out</div> -<div class="verse">The forms of women and men showing their features and clout,</div> -<div class="verse">Bringing out every expression of muscle and face,</div> -<div class="verse">Revealing the thoughts and passions in lines they trace</div> -<div class="verse">Of all the joys of life and the agonizing look,</div> -<div class="verse">Even to portraying the dying groan one undertook.</div> -<div class="verse">To show up nature is the whole object of art;</div> -<div class="verse">To make the scenes natural and life impart.</div> -<div class="verse">Now our skill in inventions throwing light,</div> -<div class="verse">We absolutely copy nature and bring it out right.</div> -<div class="verse">Men with their skill and labor bringing out a view,</div><span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_92"></a>[92]</span> -<div class="verse">With tinsel and touch to give it the correct hue,</div> -<div class="verse">Cannot come up to daguerreotype or kodak</div> -<div class="verse">In throwing out the front or showing up the back.</div> -<div class="verse">Thus onward our wheels of progress are rolling,</div> -<div class="verse">Crushing out the heart of Genius strolling</div> -<div class="verse">Over lands vying, with his puny hands,</div> -<div class="verse">With forces of nature invention commands.</div> -<div class="verse">We should pause sometimes in our rapid flight,</div> -<div class="verse">Long enough to reflect on the dangers that might</div> -<div class="verse">Wreck our civilization; children would their lives destroy</div> -<div class="verse">Were they allowed to handle guns as a toy;</div> -<div class="verse">So with man in his audacious daring</div> -<div class="verse">Handling these forces recklessly, caring</div> -<div class="verse">Little for those who are smashed beneath their grinding,</div> -<div class="verse">As the end to the glories of art they are finding.</div> -</div></div> -<p> </p> -<div class="figcenter"><img src="images/twocrosses.jpg" alt="" /></div> - - - - -<div class="chapter"> -<h2 class="nobreak"><span class="antiqua">My Fiddle</span></h2> -</div> - - -<div class="poetry-container"> -<div class="poetry"> -<div class="verse">When my years numbered less than ten,</div> -<div class="verse">I stayed with an uncle and aunt now and then,</div> -<div class="verse">Who lived a few miles from our own door.</div><span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_93"></a>[93]</span> -<div class="verse">Now when I think of those days of yore,</div> -<div class="verse">When I lingered around the cabin door,</div> -<div class="verse">In rapture listening to the violin,</div> -<div class="verse">Held under our old black man’s chin;</div> -<div class="verse">And its melody did my young heart win,</div> -<div class="verse">Recollection goes back to my violin.</div> -<div class="verse">This old fiddle came to me in a trade,</div> -<div class="verse">That I with our work-hand made;</div> -<div class="verse">And I learned to play for the serenade.</div> -<div class="verse">I rosined my bow and handled it too,</div> -<div class="verse">And loved this fiddle the whole day through.</div> -<div class="verse">I played it nights before I went to sleep;</div> -<div class="verse">Rolled it in flannel its tone to keep;</div> -<div class="verse">Put it in the box which I did make;</div> -<div class="verse">And took it out mornings soon as I’d wake.</div> -<div class="verse">My aunt, who lived at the house where I went,</div> -<div class="verse">With whom I stayed and many hours spent</div> -<div class="verse">Was of the old school in the ideas she had;</div> -<div class="verse">The most things I thought good she deemed bad.</div> -<div class="verse">A deck of cards would have made her collapse;</div> -<div class="verse">And for amusements now offered chaps,</div> -<div class="verse">They’d been abomination in her very sight;</div> -<div class="verse">The fiddle she thought her soul would blight.</div> -<div class="verse">And even the box it was carried in,</div> -<div class="verse">Was contaminated with the ghost of the violin.</div><span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_94"></a>[94]</span> -<div class="verse">This vile thing was played for the dance,</div> -<div class="verse">And that made it the horror of my aunt’s.</div> -<div class="verse">Of all this I was then in ignorant bliss.</div> -<div class="verse">So feeling good, I did not want to miss</div> -<div class="verse">The chance to show my aunt how I did play</div> -<div class="verse">On my fine instrument with much display.</div> -<div class="verse">So carefully boxing it up, I took it to stay</div> -<div class="verse">At the home of my aunt, to whom I’d show</div> -<div class="verse">My performance with the fiddle and bow.</div> -<div class="verse">When I arrived she greeted me before she did see,</div> -<div class="verse">What was under the seat in the buggy with me.</div> -<div class="verse">When I pulled it out I plainly saw</div> -<div class="verse">A cloud come over her as she stood in awe.</div> -<div class="verse">She did not at that time speak her full mind</div> -<div class="verse">But in memory lingering now I find</div> -<div class="verse">She said to herself something or other</div> -<div class="verse">To the effect that my father and mother,</div> -<div class="verse">Who were her sister, and in law her brother,</div> -<div class="verse">Didn’t have the same care for their child,</div> -<div class="verse">As she did for hers, or else how could they defile</div> -<div class="verse">A little boy like me with such a tool of evil</div> -<div class="verse">Specially devoted to sin and the service of the devil.</div> -<div class="verse">I took my poor fiddle and lugged it to my room,</div> -<div class="verse">Where I did not string it up so very soon.</div> -<div class="verse">But on one rainy day I took it out to play</div> -<div class="verse">Strains of old hymns that in my memory lay.</div><span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_95"></a>[95]</span> -<div class="verse">The thunder’s crash and the lightning’s play</div> -<div class="verse">Could not from my aunt keep away</div> -<div class="verse">The penetrating sound my violin bore,</div> -<div class="verse">Only a moment and she was at my door.</div> -<div class="verse">I saw in horror my aunt stand before,</div> -<div class="verse">With uplifted hands as her eyes bore,</div> -<div class="verse">Riveting me in silence to the floor.</div> -<div class="verse">The anger, pity, grief, fear and pain</div> -<div class="verse">In her face made upon me its lasting stain.</div> -<div class="verse">In words not spoken as much as shrieked,</div> -<div class="verse">She revealed why her face was streaked</div> -<div class="verse">With the lines I saw when she appeared:</div> -<div class="verse">“Put that horrid thing away,” she whispered;</div> -<div class="verse">“Put it in the back closet and lock the door.”</div> -<div class="verse">She insisted: “Hide it quick, I implore;</div> -<div class="verse">The Lord in his wrath will blow the house o’er!</div> -<div class="verse">Don’t you know better than to tempt God in that way,</div> -<div class="verse">While the lightning and thunder His power display?”</div> -<div class="verse">I admit that I did not know, but in my heart,</div> -<div class="verse">Then tender in years, was lodged a dart</div> -<div class="verse">It took years to remove; even now when I start</div> -<div class="verse">Upon my new violin some music to play</div> -<div class="verse">I wonder sometimes if in some mysterious way</div><span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_96"></a>[96]</span> -<div class="verse">There is not lurking in it some demon still,</div> -<div class="verse">Its tones and notes sound so awfully shrill.</div> -<div class="verse">I would not for a single moment profane</div> -<div class="verse">The memory of my dear aunt I still retain,</div> -<div class="verse">Nor at her sincere beliefs cast one single slur.</div> -<div class="verse">I write here what did actually occur.</div> -<div class="verse">A coolness between me and the fiddle I love</div> -<div class="verse">Sprang up from the incident related above,</div> -<div class="verse">That lasted all the days of my youth</div> -<div class="verse">When I might have learned the violin in truth;</div> -<div class="verse">That instrument none can ever master,</div> -<div class="verse">Who does not cling to it in every disaster.</div> -</div></div> -<p> </p> -<div class="figcenter"><img src="images/twocrosses.jpg" alt="" /></div> - - - - -<div class="chapter"> -<h2 class="nobreak"><span class="antiqua">Scientific Ethics</span></h2> -</div> - - -<div class="poetry-container"> -<div class="poetry"> -<div class="verse">Having now had with you our several quarrels</div> -<div class="verse">We advance our lance to the subject of morals.</div> -<div class="verse">Ethics is a theme from which I can glean</div> -<div class="verse">Some substantial hopes for a better day;</div> -<div class="verse">When, with our prejudices all put away,</div> -<div class="verse">We shall all learn to act and think the things,</div> -<div class="verse">Which keep in view the good life to us brings.</div><span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_97"></a>[97]</span> -<div class="verse">While this subject is as plain as a b c</div> -<div class="verse">The same for some reason you fail to see.</div> -<div class="verse">Morals are the manners and customs one adopts</div> -<div class="verse">For himself in private life, while he hops,</div> -<div class="verse">Or walks and talks with his fellow men.</div> -<div class="verse">Good morals are good habits and bad, bad.</div> -<div class="verse">Habits are easily made, and when once had,</div> -<div class="verse">They are hard to break for anybody’s sake.</div> -<div class="verse">The “stream of thought” seems the road to take,</div> -<div class="verse">Where it once had run anywhere under the sun.</div> -<div class="verse">Morals are the acts of which life is composed</div> -<div class="verse">That we have upon ourselves imposed.</div> -<div class="verse">This definition was made by Immanuel Kant,</div> -<div class="verse">But as it is self evident, he needn’t want,</div> -<div class="verse">All the credit to claim if I use the same.</div> -<div class="verse">Laws cause you do as others compel you;</div> -<div class="verse">Ethics cause you to do what you like to.</div> -<div class="verse">There are only two things that push us along.</div> -<div class="verse">Think about it till you rack your brains,</div> -<div class="verse">And you’ll find them always pleasures and pains.</div> -<div class="verse">Some even take pleasure in their sorrow and grief;</div> -<div class="verse">And you’d not be thanked for offering a relief;</div><span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_98"></a>[98]</span> -<div class="verse">Nor for producing a balm to heal their wounds,</div> -<div class="verse">From which they suffered, regardless of their grounds.</div> -<div class="verse">Men, of their humility have been so proud;</div> -<div class="verse">That lugubriously, they’d stand up in any crowd;</div> -<div class="verse">Or with their heads bowed and on bended knees,</div> -<div class="verse">With the pride of their humbleness you they’d freeze.</div> -<div class="verse">The pleasures we desire and the pains we shun,</div> -<div class="verse">Were our only motives since the world begun.</div> -<div class="verse">Now keep this in mind as its use you’ll find,</div> -<div class="verse">As we treat of ethics and its motives behind.</div> -<div class="verse">“Self-imposed precepts” are not the moral code,</div> -<div class="verse">Prevalent in places where men their guns load,</div> -<div class="verse">To meet a fellow man in the public road,</div> -<div class="verse">To try out the question with bullets of lead,</div> -<div class="verse">On the field of honor, till one or both are dead;</div> -<div class="verse">Nor is it the legal code enacted by man,</div> -<div class="verse">Making rules against things under ban.</div> -<div class="verse">Morals deal with acts men actually intend,</div> -<div class="verse">Those motions adapted to some end.</div> -<div class="verse">“The wild gesticulations of a lunatic,”</div> -<div class="verse">Or of a crazy man who automatically throws a brick,</div><span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_99"></a>[99]</span> -<div class="verse">Bear no relation to the discussion of ethics.</div> -<div class="verse">The standards of morals take their hue</div> -<div class="verse">From the aims of life men hold in view.</div> -<div class="verse">The pessimist says life’s a failure entire,</div> -<div class="verse">So to meet the demands his views require,</div> -<div class="verse">A scheme of acts adapted to shortening life</div> -<div class="verse">To get this set soonest out of the strife,</div> -<div class="verse">And all the sad and tragic things,</div> -<div class="verse">The whole of existence to them brings,</div> -<div class="verse">Would be the highest standard of acts,</div> -<div class="verse">Which in goodness one for them enacts.</div> -<div class="verse">The optimist takes a very different view,</div> -<div class="verse">Life’s a pleasure while he its joys pursue.</div> -<div class="verse">For him a general life suited to make,</div> -<div class="verse">Life long, broad and deep for his sake,</div> -<div class="verse">Would be a good banner at him to shake.</div> -<div class="verse">So we say, bad morals are bad, and good, good.</div> -<div class="verse">The reason the subject by you is not understood,</div> -<div class="verse">Is, that while you must surely know,</div> -<div class="verse">You constantly misapply to ethics one word as you go.</div> -<div class="verse">The meaning of this word if you don’t get,</div> -<div class="verse">Is from stupidity, for you never yet</div> -<div class="verse">Went into a store anything to buy or even try,</div> -<div class="verse">But a practical demonstration was before your eye.</div> -<div class="verse">The first thing you ask about a razor or knife,</div><span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_100"></a>[100]</span> -<div class="verse">Is this, “Is it good?” and the clerk doesn’t cry,</div> -<div class="verse">“What do you mean!” if he wants you to buy.</div> -<div class="verse">He politely answers, “Both these tools cut good,</div> -<div class="verse">As they are warranted, one whiskers, and one wood,</div> -<div class="verse">And both of them do their part very good.”</div> -<div class="verse">If one of you farmers wished to acquire a cow,</div> -<div class="verse">You wouldn’t ask whether she could make a bow;</div> -<div class="verse">You would enquire how much milk she gave,</div> -<div class="verse">And how much butter, and could she save</div> -<div class="verse">You some expense in the way she’d behave.</div> -<div class="verse">If such questions had all been left out,</div> -<div class="verse">And the seller had known what he was about,</div> -<div class="verse">He’d said, “She’s good,” and everything’s understood.</div> -<div class="verse">If a female reader went to buy a new spring hat,</div> -<div class="verse">And the thing was in style, you would close your chat.</div> -<div class="verse">If it was in style, it’s good, every fool knows that,</div> -<div class="verse">The bargain’s made and the hat charged to pap.</div> -<div class="verse">The same thing is true of skirts and hoops,</div><span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_101"></a>[101]</span> -<div class="verse">Of dogs and cats, and chickens in coops;</div> -<div class="verse">You can’t look about or run around,</div> -<div class="verse">Without understanding this word always so profound,</div> -<div class="verse">And mysterious when applied to my theme;</div> -<div class="verse">With yawning face you almost dream,</div> -<div class="verse">And look confused when I try to tell what I mean.</div> -<div class="verse">You never ask about any of the things I’ve spoke,</div> -<div class="verse">Whether they say their prayers and never joke,</div> -<div class="verse">To speak of such, you at me your fun poke.</div> -<div class="verse">Now we’ll see whether you are sensible folk,</div> -<div class="verse">When you try to shed your customary cloak</div> -<div class="verse">Of prejudice and mysticism you croak,</div> -<div class="verse">Every time you try sense to ethics to apply.</div> -<div class="verse">Common sense teaches us there is no reason why,</div> -<div class="verse">The definition will not fit conduct every whit,</div> -<div class="verse">As it did other things about which I’ve writ.</div> -<div class="verse">Conduct is good if its ends come through,</div> -<div class="verse">And its natural results are good for me and you.</div> -<div class="verse">I take the optimist’s view, life’s a blessing,</div> -<div class="verse">And when to you my words I’m addressing,</div> -<div class="verse">Say whether I’m right in possessing,</div> -<div class="verse">The notion that acts are morally right and good,</div><span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_102"></a>[102]</span> -<div class="verse">That contribute to life as above understood.</div> -<div class="verse">In its thickness, breadth and length, all those things,</div> -<div class="verse">Which happiness achieve, diminishing man’s stings.</div> -<div class="verse">Before us examples have been set by teachers,</div> -<div class="verse">By Immanuel Kant better than preachers;</div> -<div class="verse">That each one of our actions should lofty be,</div> -<div class="verse">That each would be a model for a code of morality.</div> -<div class="verse">This form of hedonism I would gladly place</div> -<div class="verse">Before the eyes of the whole human race.</div> -<div class="verse">Asceticism is a term derived from the Greek,</div> -<div class="verse">Applied to monks, signifying the exercises they seek,</div> -<div class="verse">By which they distinguish themselves in that they do,</div> -<div class="verse">For favor with the deity in the lines they pursue,</div> -<div class="verse">Away from their fellow man as much as they can.</div> -<div class="verse">Virtue is a term originally meaning prowess,</div> -<div class="verse">And as applied to bravery they did possess;</div> -<div class="verse">It aroused the ancients to courage in distress.</div> -<div class="verse">When the Old Bard sang “the wrath</div> -<div class="verse">Of Peleus’ son against those in his path;</div><span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_103"></a>[103]</span> -<div class="verse">When his armies did advance with spear and lance,</div> -<div class="verse">Against the Trojans against whom he did advance;</div> -<div class="verse">Or of him sulking in his tent, nursing his spleen</div> -<div class="verse">Against tall Agamemnon for acts in being mean</div> -<div class="verse">Towards him in regard to a captive maid</div> -<div class="verse">Upon whom he had his affections laid.”</div> -<div class="verse">And all the bloody deeds done by gods and men,</div> -<div class="verse">Breathing anger from their nostrils when</div> -<div class="verse">Upon each other their darts they did hurl,</div> -<div class="verse">And in the dust many bleeding bodies did curl;</div> -<div class="verse">As these savage men struggled for their prize;</div> -<div class="verse">To their gods whole hecatombs did they sacrifice</div> -<div class="verse">Of poor dumb brutes that could not sympathize</div> -<div class="verse">With them in their bloody wars and heroic cries.</div> -<div class="verse">Out of virtue as thus defined did arise</div> -<div class="verse">Asceticism and all the horrid tortures it did devise.</div> -<div class="verse">Even now men are so wedded to their inspired books</div> -<div class="verse">And things written in them by ancients where one looks</div><span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_104"></a>[104]</span> -<div class="verse">To find every act for you and me so well defined</div> -<div class="verse">That they claim that all experience combined,</div> -<div class="verse">Cannot those precepts change to suit the age;</div> -<div class="verse">Although we point out inconsistency on every page.</div> -<div class="verse">They even allege that what by their book is said,</div> -<div class="verse">Makes things good or bad under each particular head.</div> -<div class="verse">That even as simple a thing as theft,</div> -<div class="verse">If out of their book the subject were left,</div> -<div class="verse">There would be nothing in our practical observation</div> -<div class="verse">To distinguish whether or not stealing was a proper avocation.</div> -<div class="verse">Whatever of man’s moral nature the origin may be,</div> -<div class="verse">Whether he was created with a certain propensity,</div> -<div class="verse">Or whether our tendencies are a matter of growth;</div> -<div class="verse">One thing is certain, and needs not any oath,</div> -<div class="verse">To prove that our several tastes may be improved,</div> -<div class="verse">To treat our fellow man as it him behoved;</div> -<div class="verse">And toward ourselves the truer to be,</div> -<div class="verse">Until our standards and the right did agree.</div><span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_105"></a>[105]</span> -<div class="verse">If all the acts that you and I must do,</div> -<div class="verse">Were written into mandates constantly held in view,</div> -<div class="verse">And we should follow them all the way through,</div> -<div class="verse">We still would be nothing but very slaves,</div> -<div class="verse">Marching under orders of some specially wise knaves.</div> -<div class="verse">Now if one in what he does, lives to the very top,</div> -<div class="verse">Of his own ideals, him we cannot stop,</div> -<div class="verse">Until for him his ideas we raise; he is up to full speed,</div> -<div class="verse">For the requirements of all are not if the same meed.</div> -<div class="verse">Most of man’s motions should be left to his whims,</div> -<div class="verse">Whether he rides or walks, or even swims.</div> -<div class="verse">Moral conduct being by each self imposed,</div> -<div class="verse">The acts men do will naturally be disclosed,</div> -<div class="verse">In the things they like in the tastes disclosed.</div> -<div class="verse">When the acts of men are ruled by laws enacted,</div> -<div class="verse">From the category of ethics they are subtracted.</div> -<div class="verse">No human motions should be forced or restrained,</div> -<div class="verse">Unless the welfare of others is to be attained.</div> -<div class="verse">In some general sense, everything I do,</div><span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_106"></a>[106]</span> -<div class="verse">To a limited extent, has its natural effect on you.</div> -<div class="verse">By two meeting in the road, one of us must turn,</div> -<div class="verse">To let the other pass or his rig might overturn.</div> -<div class="verse">By breathing the air some oxygen I must consume,</div> -<div class="verse">Also infecting what remains by what I exhume.</div> -<div class="verse">When in the market I buy my daily supplies,</div> -<div class="verse">That alone has a tendency to make the price rise;</div> -<div class="verse">So that you have to pay more for your store.</div> -<div class="verse">Thus in many and varied ways our motions bear</div> -<div class="verse">Some natural disadvantages we should all share,</div> -<div class="verse">In our relations each with each as we live everywhere.</div> -<div class="verse">Any physical fact, however simple it may look,</div> -<div class="verse">May change aspect by the turns it took,</div> -<div class="verse">Showing how the morality of any motion,</div> -<div class="verse">May appear and disappear, simply by the notion</div> -<div class="verse">We have about those unseen motives in its track</div> -<div class="verse">Preceding, going with, or following it back.</div> -<div class="verse">In presence of ladies a man takes off his hat,</div><span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_107"></a>[107]</span> -<div class="verse">To show respect for them and nothing but that.</div> -<div class="verse">The morality of this act is not hard to adjust.</div> -<div class="verse">The same gentleman to brush away the dust,</div> -<div class="verse">Takes off the same hat in perfect disgust.</div> -<div class="verse">In each case the taking off the hat was in view.</div> -<div class="verse">The one act was moral, while the other it’s true,</div> -<div class="verse">With the question of ethics had nothing to do.</div> -<div class="verse">He now takes off his hat at the command of the law,</div> -<div class="verse">In the presence of the court where he waits in awe.</div> -<div class="verse">Being tired of the hat, he takes it off to sell,</div> -<div class="verse">Now the above illustration you know so well,</div> -<div class="verse">That its application I’ll leave you to spell.</div> -<div class="verse">“Nothing’s good or bad but the thinking makes it so.”</div> -<div class="verse">Behold the beauty of ethics, let us make it grow.</div> -<div class="verse">If you want plants to thrive, cultivate the soil,</div> -<div class="verse">Don’t over fertilize, or you will make them spoil.</div> -<div class="verse">We may stimulate our desires for good morals,</div><span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_108"></a>[108]</span> -<div class="verse">And our desire for good deeds, even by quarrels.</div> -<div class="verse">We may over stimulate the passions of the youth,</div> -<div class="verse">Even when trying upon them to impress the truth.</div> -<div class="verse">By unduly stimulating their appetite for gains,</div> -<div class="verse">And their desires for pleasures without enduring the pains;</div> -<div class="verse">And by excess their natures may be changed.</div> -<div class="verse">In that way we destroy their faculty to enjoy,</div> -<div class="verse">The real blessings of life born of strife.</div> -<div class="verse">Rewards and punishments for acts and omissions,</div> -<div class="verse">Are causes for delinquencies and its commissions.</div> -<div class="verse">Both have their way their victims to sway,</div> -<div class="verse">From the natural paths of right every day.</div> -<div class="verse">Every good act brings its consequential pay</div> -<div class="verse">And every wrong act its own punishment,</div> -<div class="verse">Upon all who upon mischief are always bent.</div> -<div class="verse">But to add to the natural consequence of things,</div> -<div class="verse">Which their performance usually brings,</div> -<div class="verse">This over pay in the nature of rewards,</div> -<div class="verse">Drives one on until the pay alone he regards,</div><span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_109"></a>[109]</span> -<div class="verse">And the nature of crimes fades out of view,</div> -<div class="verse">While the punishment alone is considered by you.</div> -<div class="verse">Thus on we are naturally driven from our path,</div> -<div class="verse">Straying out of the right and the pleasures it hath.</div> -<div class="verse">Most of our motions should be left open to choice</div> -<div class="verse">To develop our selective faculties in acts and voice,</div> -<div class="verse">That make us kind and fellows to rejoice.</div> -<div class="verse">A certain kind of approval we feel,</div> -<div class="verse">That might be compared to the scent flowers yield,</div> -<div class="verse">Upon the doing or even contemplation of acts.</div> -<div class="verse">There is also a stifling sensation coming about,</div> -<div class="verse">The doing of things about which there is a doubt,</div> -<div class="verse">As to whether we ought, although never found out,</div> -<div class="verse">Think, do, or pursue the thing we’re about.</div> -<div class="verse">Conscience is the name applied</div> -<div class="verse">To this moving feeling with our faculties allied.</div> -<div class="verse">And some say it is a true moral guide.</div> -<div class="verse">But experience finds conscience in this plight,</div> -<div class="verse">It approves everything we think to be right,</div><span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_110"></a>[110]</span> -<div class="verse">And condemns all things in our sight,</div> -<div class="verse">That even from ignorance we deem wrong that may be right.</div> -<div class="verse">For conscience’ sake many have been burned at the stake,</div> -<div class="verse">To appease its gnawings, and thirst for blood to slake.</div> -<div class="verse">Gored by its pricks, Hindu mothers, their own babes,</div> -<div class="verse">In innocence swathed, into the seething waves,</div> -<div class="verse">Of the River Ganges, writhing, religiously they fling,</div> -<div class="verse">While to this river god their hymns they sing,</div> -<div class="verse">Galled by conscience the monk and anchorite,</div> -<div class="verse">In dark caves, out of human sight,</div> -<div class="verse">Tear their flesh and do themselves every spite</div> -<div class="verse">To humiliate themselves in heaven’s sight.</div> -<div class="verse">What a freak conscience has proved to be,</div> -<div class="verse">Is illustrated in a story by Heinrich Heine,</div> -<div class="verse">Of a certain judge in a certain state,</div> -<div class="verse">Having condemned eight hundred by his mandate,</div> -<div class="verse">To be burned at the stake for witchcraft,</div> -<div class="verse">One day conscience threw at him its own shaft.</div> -<div class="verse">He imagined too that he was guilty of the crime,</div><span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_111"></a>[111]</span> -<div class="verse">That so many others had been during his time.</div> -<div class="verse">So to quiet his conscience he paid the fine;</div> -<div class="verse">And having declared himself guilty, did resign,</div> -<div class="verse">And purge his soul in punishment condign.</div> -<div class="verse">Conscience may help us our morals to regulate,</div> -<div class="verse">But first of all, we must our conscience educate,</div> -<div class="verse">By educating the head by which it is led.</div> -<div class="verse">Know the right and do it too as best you can</div> -<div class="verse">And conscience will aid you to be a man.</div> -<div class="verse">To learn the right, and it pursue,</div> -<div class="verse">Read all books and observe the actions of man,</div> -<div class="verse">Acquire by your own experience all you can;</div> -<div class="verse">Value conduct as you would value your goods,</div> -<div class="verse">Digest the subject as you do your foods,</div> -<div class="verse">Always keeping in view that present good,</div> -<div class="verse">Is often best achieved, when understood,</div> -<div class="verse">By enduring pains now to prepare us for pleasures,</div> -<div class="verse">In the days to come in greater measures.</div> -<div class="verse">After all, the art which makes life a success</div> -<div class="verse">In blessing those we love to bless,</div> -<div class="verse">Is to find th’ equilibrium of pleasures and pains,</div><span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_112"></a>[112]</span> -<div class="verse">As we do our business losses and gains.</div> -<div class="verse">Altruism is a word by Auguste Compte made,</div> -<div class="verse">Meaning regard for others, which he truly said,</div> -<div class="verse">We should cultivate and human love assimilate.</div> -<div class="verse">Sometimes the best thing for others we can do,</div> -<div class="verse">Is not to worry them, but our own course pursue,</div> -<div class="verse">And to ourselves be true, and they’ll pull through.</div> -</div></div> -<p> </p> -<div class="figcenter"><img src="images/twocrosses.jpg" alt="" /></div> - - - - -<div class="chapter"> -<h2 class="nobreak"><span class="antiqua">Sunday Laws</span></h2> -</div> - - -<div class="poetry-container"> -<div class="poetry"> -<div class="verse">Having enjoyed our quarrels, before we pause,</div> -<div class="verse">Let us take a look at your Sunday laws.</div> -<div class="verse">In olden time Sabbath breaking was a crime</div> -<div class="verse">Of such deep hue, that if anything you do</div> -<div class="verse">On that blessed day, even to earn a dime,</div> -<div class="verse">By shoveling snow, just about the time,</div> -<div class="verse">You begin to know that you must explore</div> -<div class="verse">For a little bread to keep wolf from your door.</div> -<div class="verse">Now the reason they did pense, for making that offense,</div> -<div class="verse">As I divine the most heinous of their time;</div><span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_113"></a>[113]</span> -<div class="verse">Was, that of all the days, it only took six,</div> -<div class="verse">For God the funds to raise and no plans to mix,</div> -<div class="verse">To build heaven and earth and all stars to fix;</div> -<div class="verse">And that the job was all finished so good,</div> -<div class="verse">By sundown Saturday night, as they understood,</div> -<div class="verse">That on Sunday He had nothing left to do;</div> -<div class="verse">So the Lord had to rest, and now must you.</div> -<div class="verse">If mistaken in the reasons as to me it looks,</div> -<div class="verse">Plenty of Sunday laws are found in your statute books;</div> -<div class="verse">And you can read them all yourself,</div> -<div class="verse">By taking them off their shelf.</div> -<div class="verse">But all those laws have now grown so very old,</div> -<div class="verse">And all the pages that them do hold,</div> -<div class="verse">Are all stuck together with moss and rust,</div> -<div class="verse">So that if you really and truly must,</div> -<div class="verse">Take a look at them yourself to see if they are just,</div> -<div class="verse">It would be better to hire some old maid or hag,</div> -<div class="verse">Who would supply herself with a dust brush and rag</div> -<div class="verse">From their pages to scrub away the mold of decay.</div> -<div class="verse">Every few years, say one in ten,</div> -<div class="verse">Some one or two of our fanatic men,</div> -<div class="verse">Or some great big oratorical fellow,</div><span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_114"></a>[114]</span> -<div class="verse">Who imagines that with all ease he can bellow,</div> -<div class="verse">And scare the boys their toys to put away,</div> -<div class="verse">On the holy, blessed Sabbath day.</div> -<div class="verse">As once happened in my own native state,</div> -<div class="verse">In almost a comparatively modern date.</div> -<div class="verse">This oratorical man became prosecutor of the law;</div> -<div class="verse">And he began in earnest to apply his jaw.</div> -<div class="verse">He gave us such a jar, that it was hard a cigar,</div> -<div class="verse">Or even a loaf of bread to get near or far.</div> -<div class="verse">Finally this one did his feathers plume,</div> -<div class="verse">And a race for Congress he began to assume;</div> -<div class="verse">Thinking that trip he could easily fly.</div> -<div class="verse">We then commenced to sing “as in days gone by,”</div> -<div class="verse">Before he was walking about our doors stalking,</div> -<div class="verse">Upon our heads to precipitate his wrath,</div> -<div class="verse">To keep us all in the old straight and narrow path.</div> -<div class="verse">In not such an awfully long time, we awoke to find,</div> -<div class="verse">That by somebody’s nudge, our man was criminal judge.</div> -<div class="verse">Dead sure now was he that he could scare all the boys away</div> -<div class="verse">From everything that looked like work or even play,</div><span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_115"></a>[115]</span> -<div class="verse">On the Sabbath day, and being in the lurch,</div> -<div class="verse">Haply a number would stumble into church,</div> -<div class="verse">When the choir began to sing and the coin to ring</div> -<div class="verse">In the collection box handed around by a sly fox.</div> -<div class="verse">Criminal informations for men in every station,</div> -<div class="verse">Who in his estimation, were the Sabbath breaking,</div> -<div class="verse">And the church forsaking, issued from his court,</div> -<div class="verse">Patiently did the folks go their bails,</div> -<div class="verse">And barely kept them out of our jails,</div> -<div class="verse">Till the humane change of venue came:</div> -<div class="verse">Then alas for his fame, nothing but blame,</div> -<div class="verse">For his services lent, and the people’s money spent.</div> -<div class="verse">By simple non-use laws may die, in the public eye.</div> -<div class="verse">When they go out of date, there is no need to legislate;</div> -<div class="verse">They are always considered as off the slate.</div> -<div class="verse">So let all our captives out with joy and glee,</div> -<div class="verse">And let us learn one thing from the Man of Galilee,</div> -<div class="verse">That the Sabbath was made for man.</div> -</div></div> -<p> </p> -<div class="figcenter"><img src="images/twocrosses.jpg" alt="" /></div> - - - -<div class="chapter"> -<span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_116"></a>[116]</span> - -<h2 class="nobreak"><span class="antiqua">True Religion</span></h2> -</div> - - -<div class="poetry-container"> -<div class="poetry"> -<div class="verse">To work and love and live and do</div> -<div class="verse">For others as for oneself, in my view,</div> -<div class="verse">Would be a good religion for me and for you.</div> -<div class="verse">To help ourselves and others to educate,</div> -<div class="verse">That all false pride, selfishness and hate,</div> -<div class="verse">Come from ignorance and is not innate.</div> -<div class="verse">It is born of the admiration some bestow</div> -<div class="verse">On fools who parade around to make a show</div> -<div class="verse">Of their wealth, and also the clothes they wear,</div> -<div class="verse">Thinking themselves too good our company to share.</div> -<div class="verse">’Tis not the books we read, nor the speed,</div> -<div class="verse">That we travel, nor our boasted creed;</div> -<div class="verse">’Tis not the strength we have to believe,</div> -<div class="verse">All the tales that from others we receive;</div> -<div class="verse">Nor the ugly faces we make when we grieve;</div> -<div class="verse">Nor those long drawn out sighs we heave;</div> -<div class="verse">Nor even the sorrow we feel for crimes,</div> -<div class="verse">Committed away back in ancient times,</div> -<div class="verse">By Adam and Eve among their vines</div> -<div class="verse">Of the lovely Garden of Eden</div> -<div class="verse">Where before there was not a weed in.</div> -<div class="verse">Go to church if you please, don your bonnet and hike,</div> -<div class="verse">Take a front seat or sit with the choir if you like,</div><span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_117"></a>[117]</span> -<div class="verse">Invite others too, but don’t frown if they do</div> -<div class="verse">Let you go by yourself if they want you.</div> -<div class="verse">When you see a brother come to great grief,</div> -<div class="verse">Don’t take that chance to give yourself relief,</div> -<div class="verse">Of a burden you’ve carried to get a chance</div> -<div class="verse">To heave at him while down, your pious lance;</div> -<div class="verse">Put your arms around his neck, his pains to check,</div> -<div class="verse">And take some other time his sins to inspect.</div> -<div class="verse">Put your money in the missionary field,</div> -<div class="verse">To send to all China and all around you feel,</div> -<div class="verse">Like saving them from their idols to whom they kneel;</div> -<div class="verse">Spread yourself on land and sea to get them in the band;</div> -<div class="verse">All this you do and have not charity,</div> -<div class="verse">And your religion is not right for me.</div> -<div class="verse">Cut out Sunday, sin, satan and hell,</div> -<div class="verse">Leave the gods up where they are wont to dwell;</div> -<div class="verse">Change all of your songs about heaven above</div> -<div class="verse">To things upon our earth and human love;</div> -<div class="verse">Put off your mourning, lugubrious whine</div> -<div class="verse">And think of man as the one divine;</div> -<div class="verse">Learn to talk and walk and act</div> -<div class="verse">As if man’s freedom was a real fact.</div><span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_118"></a>[118]</span> -<div class="verse">Let your parsons take off their gowns,</div> -<div class="verse">And smooth out all their wrinkly frowns;</div> -<div class="verse">And preach about potatoes, corn and hay,</div> -<div class="verse">Just as if folks on earth intended to stay.</div> -<div class="verse">Let deacons and monks and all their crew,</div> -<div class="verse">Find work for themselves to toil and do;</div> -<div class="verse">Use all your churches, temples and spires,</div> -<div class="verse">According to man’s natural and ordinary desires;</div> -<div class="verse">Stop talking about inspired books and creeds,</div> -<div class="verse">But show your faith by human thoughts and deeds.</div> -<div class="verse">Immaculate conception and total depravity,</div> -<div class="verse">Are entirely too heavy for mortal’s gravity;</div> -<div class="verse">Baptism, holy unction, and the new birth divine,</div> -<div class="verse">Are elements in which gods alone may shine.</div> -<div class="verse">All our superstitions and fears and shame,</div> -<div class="verse">Originate in reverence for some holy name,</div> -<div class="verse">Burned into man by torch, faggot and flame.</div> -<div class="verse">Prophets, priests and seers of old,</div> -<div class="verse">So long their marvellous tales have told,</div> -<div class="verse">That none on earth but the reckless and old,</div> -<div class="verse">A doubt against them dare to hold.</div> -<div class="verse">Their ancient books and maps and charts,</div> -<div class="verse">Are indelibly branded upon our hearts.</div> -<div class="verse">From childhood hour at chime of bell</div> -<div class="verse">All congregate to hear the preacher tell</div><span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_119"></a>[119]</span> -<div class="verse">Of the garden of Eden where the serpent bold,</div> -<div class="verse">To our first mother did his story unfold;</div> -<div class="verse">And, that fascinated by that shiny snake,</div> -<div class="verse">She has doomed us all to the burning lake,</div> -<div class="verse">With no water our scorching thirst to slake.</div> -<div class="verse">He tells us too with all his might and main,</div> -<div class="verse">That for our crimes the pensive one was slain;</div> -<div class="verse">And that by his death on the cruel cross,</div> -<div class="verse">We may recoup our first mother’s loss.</div> -<div class="verse">That all are bound in the chains of sin,</div> -<div class="verse">Steeped in iniquity she did begin,</div> -<div class="verse">By that headlong fall our mother Eve fell,</div> -<div class="verse">And, unless we believe the tales they tell,</div> -<div class="verse">Our lot will be cast with the damned in hell.</div> -</div></div> -<p> </p> -<div class="figcenter"><img src="images/twocrosses.jpg" alt="" /></div> - - - -<div class="chapter"> -<h2 class="nobreak"><span class="antiqua">Immortality</span></h2> -</div> - -<p class="center">(A Digression.)</p> - - -<div class="poetry-container"> -<div class="poetry"> -<div class="verse">When for us our eyes are closed in silent sleep,</div> -<div class="verse">And over our rigid body is spread the sheet,</div> -<div class="verse">While loved ones around us sob and weep.</div> -<div class="verse">When in black our form is shrouded;</div> -<div class="verse">And taken to some church all crowded,</div> -<div class="verse">Our last rites to receive at loving hands,</div> -<div class="verse">Who over our coffin wreathe their garlands</div><span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_120"></a>[120]</span> -<div class="verse">Of flowers, whose fragrance perfume</div> -<div class="verse">The air, while loving hearts with song attune,</div> -<div class="verse">The stillness to break in hymns of hope;</div> -<div class="verse">And the speaker in his talk to cope</div> -<div class="verse">With human grief and doubts and fears,</div> -<div class="verse">Says consoling words to dry up our tears.</div> -<div class="verse">When in our grave, made with pick and spade,</div> -<div class="verse">Our embalmed body is solemnly laid;</div> -<div class="verse">Does that end us all and all our parade?</div> -<div class="verse">Is that all of life to end in dust?</div> -<div class="verse">From which our body came once robust?</div> -<div class="verse">Or will there come some unseen power</div> -<div class="verse">Our lost life to restore in some distant hour,</div> -<div class="verse">By some loud trumpet blast us awake</div> -<div class="verse">From deep sleep our slumber to break?</div> -<div class="verse">Who pines the answer to know,</div> -<div class="verse">May have to wait, or the knowledge forego.</div> -<div class="verse">Science teaches that what of life we see,</div> -<div class="verse">In man as in vegetation, shrub and tree,</div> -<div class="verse">Are manifestations of acts the body performs.</div> -<div class="verse">That mystic thing called “thought” man’s life adorns,</div> -<div class="verse">Is but the throbbing of the active brain.</div> -<div class="verse">That each lobe and part of the brain,</div> -<div class="verse">Responds to particular senses we feel.</div> -<div class="verse">One convolution smells, one hears, one sees;</div> -<div class="verse">One urges locomotion, or brings us to our knees;</div><span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_121"></a>[121]</span> -<div class="verse">As upon them play the subtle waves from without</div> -<div class="verse">Receiving the response within of what we’re about.</div> -<div class="verse">If all this be true, how can it be</div> -<div class="verse">That when this machine is destroyed as we see,</div> -<div class="verse">That these results can obtain thus set free.</div> -<div class="verse">When the grey matter of the brain is back in dust,</div> -<div class="verse">Into its original atoms rudely thrust.</div> -<div class="verse">Unless it be that life itself is a thing apart,</div> -<div class="verse">And the brain, nerves and throbbing heart,</div> -<div class="verse">Are but the instruments through which it plays,</div> -<div class="verse">And when this body in which it now stays,</div> -<div class="verse">With all of its parts, is dead and gone,</div> -<div class="verse">Another new body shall us adorn.</div> -<div class="verse">They tell us such things in a book divine;</div> -<div class="verse">And that this new body shall shine,</div> -<div class="verse">Forever amid the stars and in glory shall walk,</div> -<div class="verse">Around a throne and to the king shall talk;</div> -<div class="verse">And that under the shade of the tree of life,</div> -<div class="verse">Find eternal peace free from toil and strife.</div> -</div></div> -<p> </p> -<div class="figcenter"><img src="images/twocrosses.jpg" alt="" /></div> - - - -<div class="chapter"> -<span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_122"></a>[122]</span> - -<h2 class="nobreak"><span class="antiqua">Death</span></h2> -</div> - - -<div class="poetry-container"> -<div class="poetry"> -<div class="verse">Death always strikes with a terrific blow,</div> -<div class="verse">Because it drives us to where we do not know.</div> -<div class="verse">All the saddened past has been filled with a guess.</div> -<div class="verse">Ages have been spent in trying to relieve its distress.</div> -<div class="verse">Men have sought magic and the spells it casts</div> -<div class="verse">To answer questions and all inquiries of death asked.</div> -<div class="verse">Yet, after all, we simply know that it is the fate</div> -<div class="verse">We all must equally share with those we love or hate.</div> -<div class="verse">Life is but a short story for us when it is told;</div> -<div class="verse">Its brief animation for the young and for the old</div> -<div class="verse">Is only an agitation, a ripple on the waves of time.</div> -<div class="verse">A few joys, a few sorrows, a few thoughts sublime</div> -<div class="verse">As onward we speed into the Great Beyond unknown.</div> -<div class="verse">Could we but open the doors and see the paths strown</div> -<div class="verse">With all the remains of the billions before us thrown</div><span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_123"></a>[123]</span> -<div class="verse">Into the gaping jaws of death, devouring its own,</div> -<div class="verse">We might then unravel its mysteries deep,</div> -<div class="verse">We might then have visions of those who sleep;</div> -<div class="verse">But into that vast chasm none are allowed to peep.</div> -<div class="verse">Vain it is to pry into this oblivion profound,</div> -<div class="verse">Vain to attempt its hidden meaning to expound;</div> -<div class="verse">Vain to ask why the hungry jaws of this Monster Great</div> -<div class="verse">Does not spare our loved ones, why he should immolate</div> -<div class="verse">Kings in palaces and peasants in huts of want,</div> -<div class="verse">Babes in cradles and aged ones lean and gaunt.</div> -<div class="verse">If we are inevitably doomed to this common end;</div> -<div class="verse">Should we fear when towards it our journeys tend?</div> -<div class="verse">We cannot shun it by fear or by hope,</div> -<div class="verse">We must meet it, and with its pangs must cope.</div> -<div class="verse">In which ever way our winding paths may lead</div> -<div class="verse">Death faces us with its devastating looks of greed.</div> -<div class="verse">It comes to us in a thousand different ways;</div> -<div class="verse">It visits us at night when the sun has hid its rays;</div><span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_124"></a>[124]</span> -<div class="verse">It greets us at noonday when the sun is high;</div> -<div class="verse">No one can escape its ever-vigilant eye;</div> -<div class="verse">All the living must yield up to it and die.</div> -<div class="verse">Is death a curse, then all the living are cursed;</div> -<div class="verse">Is death a blessing, then all the living will be blessed.</div> -<div class="verse">It cannot be an evil, nature creates nothing wrong;</div> -<div class="verse">And it is only nature while we follow it along.</div> -<div class="verse">Mother earth brings us all into this life;</div> -<div class="verse">And this same mother calls us back from its strife.</div> -<div class="verse">Can it be that our mother would be unkind?</div> -<div class="verse">In a universal mother, universal love we find.</div> -<div class="verse">Although her children be numbered by millions;</div> -<div class="verse">And all her numberless offspring run into billions;</div> -<div class="verse">Yet no partiality she shows; all are treated the same;</div> -<div class="verse">Her rules are based on fate, break them and bear the blame.</div> -<div class="verse">How could her laws be varied to suit her flock?</div> -<div class="verse">Anarchy would reign and destroy her stock.</div> -<div class="verse">One universal law; death waits us all;</div> -<div class="verse">So let us be courageous while we wait its call.</div> -</div></div> - - - -<hr class="chap" /> - -<div class="transnote"> -<div class="chapter"> -<p class="ph2">TRANSCRIBER’S NOTES:</p> -</div> - - - -<p>Obvious typographical errors have been corrected.</p> - -<p>Archaic or alternate spelling has been retained from the original.</p> -</div> - - - - - - - - - -<pre> - - - - - -End of Project Gutenberg's The Twentieth Century Epic, by R. 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