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-The Project Gutenberg EBook of Pictures by Phil May, by Phil May
-
-This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
-almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or
-re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
-with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org/license
-
-
-Title: Pictures by Phil May
-
-Author: Phil May
-
-Release Date: July 25, 2020 [EBook #62750]
-
-Language: English
-
-Character set encoding: UTF-8
-
-*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK PICTURES BY PHIL MAY ***
-
-
-
-
-Produced by Chuck Greif (This file was produced from images
-available at The Internet Archive)
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
- HUMOROUS MASTERPIECES
-
- PICTURES
-
- BY
-
- PHIL
-
- MAY
-
-
- HUMOROUS MASTERPIECES, No. 5
-
- PICTURES BY PHIL MAY
-
- Printed by Robert MacLehose and Co. Ltd. Glasgow.
-
-
-COSTERS AND COCKNEYS
-
-[Illustration: ’APPY ’AMPSTEAD.
-
-“Ere y’are, Lidies’ Tormentors. ‘Two’ n penny!”]
-
-
-
-
- PICTURES
-
- BY
-
- PHIL MAY
-
- GOWANS & GRAY, LTD.
-
- 5 ROBERT STREET, ADELPHI, LONDON, W.C.
-
- 58 CADOGAN STREET, GLASGOW
-
- 1908
-
- First Edition, May, 1907.
-
- Reprinted, June, 1907, Jamiary, 1908
-
- (completing 16,000).
-
-THE Publishers take this opportunity of thanking Messrs. W. Thacker
-& Co. for the readiness with which they accorded permission for the
-reproduction of, the drawings contained in this little book. They
-believe that these examples of Phil May’s work show that inimitable
-artist at his best.
-
-COSTERS AND COCKNEYS
-
-[Illustration: “I ’ear as you don’t walk hout with ’Arry Smith any
-more.” “No, ’e wanted me to meet ’im incandescently, and I wouldn’t do
-such a thing, so I chucked ’im.”]
-
-COSTERS AND COCKNEYS
-
-[Illustration: ’_Arriet_.--“Ow! I s’y, look at ’is bloomin’ ’At.”]
-
-COSTERS AND COCKNEYS
-
-[Illustration: “Wot’s th’ row up the Court, Bill?”
-
-“Bob Smith was kissing my missus, and ’is old woman caught ’im.]
-
-COSTERS AND COCKNEYS
-
-[Illustration: ONE EASTER MONDAY.
-
-’_Arriet_ (_watching the funeral of ’Liza_).--“Nice sort of a Bank
-’Oliday for ’er, poor dear.”]
-
-COSTERS AND COCKNEYS
-
-[Illustration: “What price this for Margit.”]
-
-COSTERS AND COCKNEYS
-
-[Illustration: _Fat Party_ (_after a war of words_).--“If you come
-down our court to-morrer and bring a bit o’ fat with yer, I’ll bloomin’
-well eat yer.”]
-
-COSTERS AND COCKNEYS
-
-[Illustration: “Ow I s’y, look at ’er frills. Got ’erself hup like a
-bloomin’ ’am bone!”]
-
-BROTHER BRUSHES
-
-[Illustration: “Do you want a Muddle. Sir.”]
-
-BROTHER BRUSHES
-
-[Illustration: _First R.A._ (_who hates to be interrupted in his hobby
-but is doing his best to be polite_).--“Done any work to-day?”
-
-_Second R.A._--“No, confound it. That stupid ass Brown came to the
-studio and talked all the afternoon,--couldn’t do a stroke of work.
-What do you do when some idiot comes and interrupts your work?”
-
-_First R.A._--“Oh, I go on weeding.”]
-
-IN THE BARS AND STREETS
-
-[Illustration: “Come and ’ave a Cup of Tea, Mrs. Malony, it’s the
-hanniversary of my Weddin’ Day. I’m sorry my old man won’t be there,
-’cos e’s just got a Month for knocking me about.”]
-
-IN THE BARS AND STREETS
-
-[Illustration: FRATERNITY. “(Hic) Can’t help you, ole f’la, but I’ll
-sit down with you (hic).”]
-
-IN THE BARS AND STREETS
-
-[Illustration: “Mos’ ’tronary thing! a’most shertain th’ was shome
-Coffee in it.”]
-
-IN THE BARS AND STREETS
-
-[Illustration]
-
-IN THE BARS AND STREETS
-
-[Illustration]
-
-IN THE BARS AND STREETS
-
-[Illustration: IT MUST HAVE BEEN AWFUL.
-
-_Mrs. Baggs_ (_after receiving tornado of abuse from over the road_).--
-
-“Well, I never ’eard sich Langwidge in all my life. I never was called
-sich Names before. Even my own ’usband doesn’t call me s’ch Names.”]
-
-IN THE BARS AND STREETS
-
-[Illustration: “By the way, when does your American Tour come off?”
-
-“Oh, not for about a Year.”
-
-“Well, let’s go in here and have a Drink before you go.”]
-
-IN THE BARS AND STREETS
-
-[Illustration: _Urchin_ (_to companion over the way_).--“Ow would
-_that_ suit yer, Bill?”]
-
-IN THE BARS AND STREETS
-
-[Illustration: “Did you go to Smith’s burying?”
-
-“Yes, I _did_, an’ a measly affair it was. _Tea_ and Bread and Butter!
-
-I’ve buried two ’usbands, but, thank goodness, I buried ’em both with
-Seedy Cake an’ ’Am Sandwiches.”]
-
-IN THE BARS AND STREETS
-
-[Illustration: “I want you to take me to St. John’s Wood, Cabbie.”
-
-“All right, sir, but would you mind getting in on the other side so as
-the old horse don’t see yer.”]
-
-IN THE BARS AND STREETS
-
-[Illustration: “I don’t so much mind your sneaking my Pewters, but
-when it comes to bringing ’em back in the shape of ’arf crowns it’s a
-bit too much.”]
-
-IN THE BARS AND STREETS
-
-[Illustration: _Bill Snooks_ (_reading from a fashion paper_).--“‘To
-be really well dressed a man’s clothes should have the appearance of
-having been worn once or twice.’ What _O_!”]
-
-IN THE BARS AND STREETS
-
-[Illustration]
-
-IN THE BARS AND STREETS
-
-[Illustration: “What’s ’e done, Guv’nor?]
-
-IN THE BARS AND STREETS
-
-[Illustration: (Hic!) Jacet.]
-
-STUDIES AND SKETCHES
-
-[Illustration: _The Mayor of Middle Wallop_ (_who is interested in the
-decoration of new theatre_).--“Oo’s that gentleman you’re painting?”
-
-_Artist_.--“That is William Shakespeare.”
-
-_The M. of M. W_.--“’As ’e ever done anything for Middle Wallop?”
-
-_Artist_.--“No, Sir, not that I’m aware of.”
-
-_The M. of M. W._--“Then paint ’im out and paint ME in.”]
-
-STUDIES AND SKETCHES
-
-[Illustration: _Bailiff_ (_who has been well treated and settled
-with_).--“Well, good-bye, sir. See you again ‘soon,’ sir, I ’ope!”]
-
-STUDIES AND SKETCHES
-
-[Illustration: “Nuts for the Monkeys, Sir?”]
-
-STUDIES AND SKETCHES
-
-[Illustration: _American Million Heiress_.--“And have you _really_ got
-a coronet?”
-
-_Lord Hardup_.--“Well--ah--yes--at least--I mean--I’ve got the ticket.”]
-
-STUDIES AND SKETCHES
-
-[Illustration: _Visitor to Lunatic Asylum_.--“Is that Clock right?”
-
-_The Dotty One_.--“O course it ain’t, or it wouldn’t be _here_”]
-
-STUDIES AND SKETCHES
-
-[Illustration: _Visitor to Lunatic Asylum which is undergoing
-structural improvements_ (_to harmless lunatic who is extremely busy
-wheeling barrow upside down_).--“You ought to turn that barrow the
-other way up!”
-
-_Harmless Lunatic_ (_knowingly_).--“I did yesterday, _but_ they put
-_Bricks_ in it.”]
-
-STUDIES AND SKETCHES
-
-[Illustration: DOTTYVILLE.
-
-_Inmate to new arrival_.--“What, _you_ mad _too_? _So_ glad.”]
-
-STUDIES AND SKETCHES
-
-[Illustration: _Condoling Friend_ (_to recently Bereaved
-Widower_).--“It must be awfully hard to lose one’s Wife.”
-
-_The Bereaved_--“Yes,---- it’s almost _impossible_”]
-
-STUDIES AND SKETCHES
-
-[Illustration: _Wife_ (_to Lion Tamer who has been out late_),--“You
-Coward!”]
-
-WITHIN AND WITHOUT THE GHETTO
-
-[Illustration: _Sol Jacobs_ (_to his friend the proprietor of the boat
-who has fallen overboard, and has come to the surface for the second
-time_).--“I thay, Ikey, if yer don’t come up again may I keep the
-Boat?”]
-
-WITHIN AND WITHOUT THE GHETTO
-
-[Illustration: “What ’ave you got in dem boddles, Ikey?”
-
-“Dem ain’t boddles, dem’s fire extinguishers.”
-
-“Garn, you ain’t afraid of a bit of a fire.”
-
-“No, but I gets ten per cent, off the Insurance Company for having dem
-about.”
-
-“What’s in ’em.”
-
-“I don’t know what _was_ in ’em but there’s _kerosene_ in ’em now!”]
-
-WITHIN AND WITHOUT THE GHETTO
-
-[Illustration: “I must congratulate you, Mothes, dot vos a grandt fire
-of yours last Tuesday.”
-
-“Vat yer mean?--Not _last_ Tuesday, _next_ Tuesday.”]
-
-WITHIN AND WITHOUT THE GHETTO
-
-[Illustration: _Moses_ (_generously_).--“’Ave a Thigar, Ikey?”
-
-_Ikey_ (_suspiciously_).--“Vat’s the matter vith it?”]
-
-WITHIN AND WITHOUT THE GHETTO
-
-[Illustration: “Good Morning, Miss Voss.”
-
-“My name is not Voss. It never Voss and never vill be.”]
-
-WITHIN AND WITHOUT THE GHETTO
-
-[Illustration: _Solomon_ (who has had a terriffic bang on the nose
-from his friend).--
-
-“Do it again. Do it again. I can thee Diamonts!!!”]
-
-WITHIN AND WITHOUT THE GHETTO
-
-[Illustration: “Father, I’ve thwallered a thoverign, and how am I to
-make the books balance? You thee, I’m a pound in and a pound out.”]
-
-AMONG THE THESPIANS
-
-[Illustration: IN A GARRISON TOWN.
-
-_First Loafer to Second Ditto_ (_as our friends from the Circus pass
-by_).--“Officers!”]
-
-WITH THE CHILDREN
-
-[Illustration: THE GAME OF “BUTTONS.”
-
-_Winner_ (_to the ruined one_).--“Well, dash it all, old man, it you
-_will_ go in for this sort of thing you must _expect_ to lose a Button
-or two.”]
-
-WITH THE CHILDREN
-
-[Illustration: _Uncle John_.--“Well, Bobby, how did you manage to get
-out so soon?”
-
-_Bobby_.--“Leg before, Uncle.”]
-
-WITH THE CHILDREN
-
-[Illustration: “YOU NEVER KNOW YOUR LUCK.”
-
-“Hi! come back, yer Silly! Do yer want to spile yer Luck?”]
-
-WITH THE CHILDREN
-
-[Illustration: “My Father ’e once caught a Fish as big--as our Street!”
-
-“Well, then, it must ’ave bin a _Whale_”
-
-“Garn, ’e were baitin’ wi’ _Whales_!”]
-
-WITH THE CHILDREN
-
-[Illustration: “Why don’t we have Open-Air Cafés? So pleasant to take
-one’s refreshment in the open air.”--(_Vide newspapers._)]
-
-[Illustration: WITH THE CHILDREN
-
-“Do you want a errand boy?”
-
-“No.”
-
-“Yus you do, yours ’as just been runned over.”]
-
-WITH THE CHILDREN
-
-[Illustration: “Don’t ’e make a gawd of ’is Stummick? Why, that’s the
-_second_ a’porth I’ve seed ’im ’ave this mornin’!”]
-
-BY THE SEA
-
-[Illustration: “You Naughty Boy, you’ll fall over!”]
-
-BY THE SEA
-
-[Illustration: ----!----!----!]
-
-BY THE SEA
-
-[Illustration: “’Taint so long ago, Willium, since you an’ me was the
-dandies of Deal!”]
-
-BY THE SEA
-
-[Illustration: _Scene--Scarboro’._ _Time--Sunday morning_. _Very
-muddy._ _Inhabitant_--“Be thoo a _strong_ mon?”
-
-_Amateur weight-lifter_ (_rather proud that his fame has spread so
-far_).--“Well, yes, my friend. I do a little in that way.”
-
-_Inhabitant._--“I’ll lay thee a fiver, I’ll put thee on thy back in t’
-muck.”]
-
-ON THE COUNTRY SIDE
-
-[Illustration: _Lodging-House Keeper_ (_to Professional
-Lady_).--“Which my ’usband, Miss, is one of the Virgins at the
-Cathedral!”]
-
-ON THE COUNTRY SIDE
-
-[Illustration: “I heard as how you’ve been fighting with Bob Smith?”
-
-“Yus. He said my Sister was cross-eyed.”
-
-“But you haven’t got a Sister?”
-
-“I know that. It was the Principle o’ the thing that upset Me.”]
-
-ON THE COUNTRY SIDE
-
-[Illustration: _Stout Party._--“And can’t I get to X ---- without
-walking?”
-
-_Porter._--“Well, there’s the Coal Train, Mum.”
-
-_Stout Party._--“How Much will it cost Me?”
-
-_Porter._--“Seven Shillings a Ton!”]
-
-ON THE COUNTRY SIDE
-
-[Illustration: “Have you got change for a Threepenny-piece, Adolphus?
-I want to give the Porter a gratuity.”]
-
-SPORTING SKETCHES
-
-[Illustration: “Hullo, old chap, you look as if you’d had Sport! In at
-the Kill?”
-
-“Well, _no_. I was in at the Ditch and in at the River. We can’t expect
-to be in every where.”]
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Pictures by Phil May, by Phil May
-
-*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK PICTURES BY PHIL MAY ***
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