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diff --git a/.gitattributes b/.gitattributes new file mode 100644 index 0000000..d7b82bc --- /dev/null +++ b/.gitattributes @@ -0,0 +1,4 @@ +*.txt text eol=lf +*.htm text eol=lf +*.html text eol=lf +*.md text eol=lf diff --git a/LICENSE.txt b/LICENSE.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..6312041 --- /dev/null +++ b/LICENSE.txt @@ -0,0 +1,11 @@ +This eBook, including all associated images, markup, improvements, +metadata, and any other content or labor, has been confirmed to be +in the PUBLIC DOMAIN IN THE UNITED STATES. + +Procedures for determining public domain status are described in +the "Copyright How-To" at https://www.gutenberg.org. + +No investigation has been made concerning possible copyrights in +jurisdictions other than the United States. Anyone seeking to utilize +this eBook outside of the United States should confirm copyright +status under the laws that apply to them. diff --git a/README.md b/README.md new file mode 100644 index 0000000..116589d --- /dev/null +++ b/README.md @@ -0,0 +1,2 @@ +Project Gutenberg (https://www.gutenberg.org) public repository for +eBook #62183 (https://www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/62183) diff --git a/old/62183-0.txt b/old/62183-0.txt deleted file mode 100644 index 702ad68..0000000 --- a/old/62183-0.txt +++ /dev/null @@ -1,1734 +0,0 @@ -Project Gutenberg's Maiden Mona the Mermaid, by Frederick Augustus Dixon - -This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere in the United States and most -other parts of the world at no cost and with almost no restrictions -whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms of -the Project Gutenberg License included with this eBook or online at -www.gutenberg.org. If you are not located in the United States, you'll have -to check the laws of the country where you are located before using this ebook. - - - -Title: Maiden Mona the Mermaid - A Fairy Play for Fairy People - -Author: Frederick Augustus Dixon - -Release Date: May 20, 2020 [EBook #62183] - -Language: English - -Character set encoding: UTF-8 - -*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK MAIDEN MONA THE MERMAID *** - - - - -Produced by Richard Tonsing, Mary Glenn Krause, University -of Toronto's Thomas Fisher Rare Book Library and the Online -Distributed Proofreading Team at https://www.pgdp.net (This -file was produced from images generously made available -by The Internet Archive/American Libraries.) - - - - - - - - - - A Fairy Play for Fairy People. - - - - - MAIDEN MONA THE MERMAID. - A Fairy Play for Fairy People. - - - BY - - F. A. D. - -[Illustration] - - TORONTO: - BELFORD BROS., PUBLISHERS. - - MDCCCLXXVII. - - - - - DUDLEY & BURNS, PRINTERS. - HUNTER, ROSE & CO., BOOKBINDERS. - - - - - TO THE - - _CHILDREN OF THEIR EXCELLENCIES_, - - THE EARL AND COUNTESS OF DUFFERIN. - - THE - - Merry Little Party of Actors, - - FOR - - Whose Christmas Fun these Plays are Written, - - THIS LITTLE VOLUME, - - _With this a sole excuse for its nonsense_, - - IS - - Affectionately Dedicated. - ------------------------------------------------------------------------- - - - - - MAIDEN MONA THE MERMAID. - - - DRAMATIS PERSONÆ. - - - THE GNOME KING.—_A penniless potentate who used to play first fiddle, - but has lost his key._ - - O’ROOSTER THE AUDACIOUS.—_High Cockolorum. Master of the (rocking) - Horse. First Lord of the Shaving Brush. Gold Stick in w(h)aiting to the - King, and a warm stick, in plaster to Coquettina, Q.E.D.; R.S.V.P.; - R.I.P.; etc., etc., etc._ - - GENERAL BOUNCE.—_No relation to General De Billy Tee._ - - CAPTAIN POUNCE.—_Not Kept-in-pounds, shillings and pence, alas! Too - poor to “mawwy._” - - NOODLE,│_Twins and orphans; without, strange to say, a single parent - DOODLE.│left, (of course, a single pair ain’t right.) Their prospects, - │however, are in a fine pickle, which is something._ - - MONA THE MERMAID.—_Only a mer(e)maid she. - The Queen of dainty, wee things. - Fresh from the seething waves. - The last sweet thing in sea things._ - M-R-T-N T-PP-R. - - COQUETTINA.—_The Maid of the Mil(itary). Such a pet!_ - - THE FAIRY OF THE FOREST.—“_The meet little cherub who sits up aloft - And takes care of the life of poor Jack._” - (_Mr. Noodle._) - SH-K-SP-R. - - CORALINA.—_A duodecimo edition of a darling._ - - - CAST OF CHARACTERS. - - GOVERNMENT HOUSE OTTAWA - - New Year’s Day, 1877. - - - THE GNOME KING HON. TERENCE BLACKWOOD. - O’ROOSTER THE AUDACIOUS MR. EDWARD LITTLETON. - GENERAL BOUNCE MR. ALGERNON BLACKWOOD. - CAPTAIN POUNCE HON. BASIL BLACKWOOD. - NOODLE CAPTAIN WARD, A.D.C. - DOODLE CAPTAIN HAMILTON, A.D.C. - MONA THE MERMAID LADY HELEN BLACKWOOD. - COQUETTINA MISS MARGARET LITTLETON. - THE FAIRY OF THE FOREST LADY HERMIONE BLACKWOOD. - CORALINA LADY VICTORIA BLACKWOOD. - -[Illustration] - - - SCENE I. - - _Cavern on the Sea Coast by Moonlight.—Opening in Rocks at Back, - showing Sea.—The Waves are Rising and Running into Mouth of - Cavern.—Introductory Music Descriptive of Storm; Thunder Heard - Behind.—Music Gradually Changes to Soft Measured Air as Curtain - Rises.—Prince Doodle Discovered Lying on Rocks at Back. R. C. as - though Cast up by the Waves.—Enter through Opening Mona.—She - Comes Down, Combing Her Hair with a Golden Comb through the - following_:— - -[Illustration] - - MONA. Why, what a dreadful stormy night we’re getting, - It’s well for me I do not mind a wetting! - Full fathom five below those crested waves - No tempests ever stir _our_ coral caves. - We hear no thunder far below the sea; - The mermaids’ haunt is still as still can be; - In fact it’s rather dull sometimes down there, - And so I come up here and comb my hair. - - (_Moves towards back._) - - To-night, alas! another ship went down, - I cannot bear to see poor sailors drown. - - (_Sees PRINCE DOODLE._) - - Good gracious! What is this? As I am alive, - Why, it’s a man! I know it is! - - (_Steps hurriedly on rock as though going to plunge into sea._) - - I’ll dive! - I won’t! (_comes down_) I will! (_goes up_) No! - (_Hesitates._) Shall I? Will it bite? - It’s not a shark? (_Goes up and peeps, comes back holding - hand to heart._) It’s put me in a fright. - Mona! you silly goose! This palpitation - Is strange perhaps, but not a bad sensation. - I rather like it. Is it fear? No question! - I’m not afraid! Perhaps it’s indigestion? - I’ll take another peep. - - (_Goes to PRINCE on tip_toe, and comes away rapidly, clapping her - hands._) - - He’s charming, really! - If I could take him home I’d like to dearly. - How nice he’d be to play with! Shall I try? - He’s fast asleep! I’m sure he wouldn’t die. - - (_Tries to raise him. He groans._) - - His clothes are wet, perhaps he’s shipwrecked, too. - - (_PRINCE slowly sits up holding his hand to his side._) - - Good evening, sir. (_Curtesying._) - - PRINCE DOODLE. Good evening. How d’ye do? - - (_Rises with difficulty and comes forward._) - - Where am I? Who are you? What’s this? (_Feels water._) It’s water! - - MONA. This is the Norway coast, and I’m its daughter. - Young sir, you’re wet! your coat—— - Might be a better ’un. - I’m _young_; but still you won’t find here a _wetter_ ’un. - - MONA. Tell me your tale, for stories I love well. - - PRINCE DOODLE. Story; why bless you! I have none to tell; - Only last night, a-sailing on the ocean, - There came a squall, at least so I’ve a notion. - It stormed! it blew! it rained! the lightning crashed! - We pitched and rolled, (_imitates motion of ship_) and tossed, the - thunder flashed; - The wind, it rose and howled, and so did we. - - MONA. That’s very queer! - - PRINCE DOODLE. Things often are at sea. - “Cut down the starboard stays’l!” cried I. Then - “Splice the jib-boom, there, to the cross-trees, men!” - - (_Speaks excitedly, suiting action to words, and using hands as - speaking trumpet_,) - - “Stand by to hoist the to’gallant sheet anchor! - Take a pull on the weather lee scuppers, my hearties! - Let the mizzen binnacle go with a run!” - - MONA. (_Clapping her hands with delight._) - I like to hear you talk. Go on! What fun! - - PRINCE DOODLE. (_Disgusted at interruption._) - That’s all. - - MONA. (_Disappointed._) That’s not the end? - - PRINCE DOODLE. ’Twon’t take a minuit. - The ship she gave a lurch; and—left us in it. - Then to a hen coop clung the crew of forty-five; - - MONA. They’re drowned? (_clasping her hands in horror._) - - PRINCE DOODLE. Oh, not at all; they’re all alive. - They flew away. - - MONA. What, men! - - PRINCE DOODLE. No; geese, my dear! - I’m rather mixed. Perhaps my head is queer. - Listen, and I’ll a tale unfold to harrow—— - - MONA. (_Shrinking back_) - Ah! Don’t! - - PRINCE DOODLE. A tale to fr-r-r-r-eeze—— - - MONA. Oh, dear! - - PRINCE DOODLE. Your marrow! - - PRINCE DOODLE. (_Loud chord, and tremulo music through the - following._) - I have an uncle! - - MONA. Not uncommon, surely. - - PRINCE DOODLE. Some years ago, my poor papa, felt poorly; - Took to his bed, and—died—they say most queerly. - My uncle deals in magic? See you? - - MONA. Clearly! - - PRINCE DOODLE. My parent gone, th’ apparent heir was I! - To gain the throne he wished that I should die. - And then, because I couldn’t see why he, - Instead of I, the nation’s king should be; - He shipped me off, alone, to go to _see_, - Alone I said! not so! off was I cast - With four and forty geese before the mast! - His parting words were these:—“Return, my dear, - (Of course the whole thing was a jibe and sneer) - When’ere a mermaid’s heart you hold in hand, - And four and forty men before me stand, - In place of all these geese I send as crew. - ’Till then—‘O reservoir!’ my boy! adieu!” - - MONA. Oh! what a dreadful man! - - PRINCE DOODLE. He seized my brother; - And swore we ne’er again should see each other - Until this mermaid I should meet, so kind, - And then a mountain full of diamonds find. - The thing is absurd! There are no mermaids here, - My uncle has the thro_wn_; I’m _pitched out_ clear! - - MONA. The diamond mountain of the Gnome King, see - - (_Points off L._) - - It’s full of diamonds: full as full can be. - - PRINCE DOODLE. What’s that you say? That mountain! It’s all rock. - Diamonds inside! Oh, come! you only mock! - I’d like to see my brother— - - MONA. What’s your name? - - PRINCE DOODLE. Oh! I’m a Prince, Prince Doodle. - - MONA. What a shame! - - PRINCE DOODLE. My kingdom’s in Cockagne, you must have heard - Of Cock-a-doodle-do. (_She shakes head._) That noble bird - Was a remote progenitor. Indeed, - Our pedigree, by Darwin, you can read. - - MONA. I never learnt to read. Stay! (_puts fingers to forehead_) on - me dawns, - A notion (_triumphantly_) that’s where people live “_en Prince?_” - (_pronounce “on prawns.”_) - - PRINCE DOODLE. (_Aside._) _A notion_ fishy! (_Aloud._) No, my dear, - on _shrimps_! - Your friends?—They’re?—— - - MONA. Mermaids. - - PRINCE DOODLE. _water-“nimps?”_ - Why _w(h)at a—(looks towards her feet) tail_? - Forgive the observation, - Is there not something queer in your formation? - (_Hesitatingly._) You don’t wear boots and shoes? (_aside_) - Ah, that a fix is! - They _can’t_ of course! - - MONA. Why not? My number’s “sixes.” - You never heard of _soles_ and _eels_? - - PRINCE DOODLE. Yes, fried! - - MONA. Around our grottoes, there(_’s_) _sea-horses_(_’s_) _hide_. - For _bark_——you’ve heard the “moaning of the _tied_,” - And _hide_ and _bark_ make leather, eh? - - PRINCE DOODLE. Of course! - (_Aside._) I’ve traced my _night mare_ up to its _sea-horse_; - A mermaid! Here’s my chance! (_Aloud._) Dear me! How stupid! - (_Aside._) Now aid me, Venus! - - MONA. (_Overheating aside._) Venus! He must be Cupid! - Why how the boy has grown! (_Aloud._) Is she your “Ma?” - - PRINCE DOODLE. Alas, sweet maid! I am an orphan! (_sighs_) Ah! - With ne’er a _parent_, we’re a _pair rent_, too. - - MONA. You have my sympathy, what can I do! - - (_Aside, holding hand to heart._) - - Dear me! That queer sensation’s come again! - - PRINCE DOODLE. Your sympathy, _see, mends_ an orphan’s _pain_, - My _loving, lass_! - - MONA. Your _glass_, I’d mend, Prince, but I - Regret I’ve neither got _cements_ nor putty. - - PRINCE DOODLE. Say, could you learn to love? - - MONA. (_Innocently._) You’ll teach me your way? - - PRINCE DOODLE. It’s plain! No doubt it’s much the same in Norway. - - (_He puts arm round her waist and is going to kiss her, when he looks - off L._) - - See! yonder comes a _N’orse-man_ on an _’orse_! - - MONA. Oh! Let us fly! The Gnome King! - - PRINCE DOODLE. Fly! Of course. - If you’ll fly with me, dear, we’ll never part. - - MONA. (_Aside._) I’ve just discovered that I’ve got—a heart! - - (_Exeunt through opening at back R. U. E. Enter L. 2 E. The GNOME KING - on a rocking horse, attended by ROOSTER THE AUDACIOUS, GENERAL - BOUNCE, and CAPTAIN POUNCE._) - - GNOME KING. Whoa! Steady, boy! Here take this beast away - And stuff his mouldy ribs with ancient hay. - (_Exit R.U.E. CAPTAIN POUNCE with horse; he returns - front_) The only steed in all our royal stable; - We’d keep a dozen were we only able. - The times are hard and out of joint ’tis clear. - We’re out of _joints_ ourselves—and beer, - Ha! ha! (_to ROOSTER._) Why can’t you laugh? Ha! ha! - - ROOSTER, (_feebly_,) He! he! - - G. KING. What mean these looks, you’re very grave, I see. - Well, let’s to business. What are all these matters? - We want some coin, our robes are torn to tatters. - - (_seats himself on rock. R._) - - Let’s hear the worst. Produce your budget, quick! - Bring lights! Pray what’s the price of candles, _stick_? - - (_ROOSTER aside._) There’s not a candle left. (_aloud_) It’s nearly - morning. - (_aside_) What shall I say. (_aloud_) Sir, see the day is dawning. - - (_Stage gradually grows light._) - - G. KING. Well, how’s the Exchequer? - - ROOS. Empty. - - G. KING. Stock it. - - ROOS. I’ve eighteen pence, sir, in my waistcoat pocket. - It’s pretty clear we must increase taxation. - - G. K. We’ll tax the gnomes of each denomination. - - ROOS. They’re taxed already, sir, wholesale and retail. - - G. K. Tax them some more. - - ROOS. But how? - - G. K. Well, that’s a detail. - Taxes. Tax every thing and every body, - Toffee and tubs, ice cream and whiskey toddy. - Tax folks who fish—for compliments or salmon. - Lay taxes on their corns for shooting. - - ROOS. (_aside_) Gammon. - You’re pleased to joke. The situation’s grave. - - G. K. And so am I. I’m quite in earnest, slave. - Then, tax the air they breathe, the _airs_ they hear, - And tax their wives, it’s right _they_ should be _dear_. - Tax all pet oysters, sprats and whales they’re keeping. - Tax ’em for eating, drinking, also sleeping. - Tax them besides for laughing, singing, crying. - And lay a heavy tax on folks for _dye_ing. - Put taxes on the nation’s food and fuel, - From turtle soup, to grits for babies’ gruel. - Stay, here I have it! why, of course, you gabies - You’d make a fortune by a tax on babies. - - GENERAL BOUNCE. (_hesitatingly_) Can’t we economise, that’s my - suggestion, - What’s Toby and what’s not Toby’s the question? - - G. K. Well, how’s the army? can we cut it down? - Make sixpence go as far as half a crown? - - G. BOUNCE. One General, (_points to self_,) and one Captain of the - forces. - - (_Points to CAPTAIN POUNCE._) - - An inefficient staff, sir, that of course is; - Of cavalry we’ve none. - - G. K. The “Ryle Artileree?” - - G. B. Burst up. - - G. K. The Infantry? - - G. B. All here you see. - - (_Enter NOODLE, as full private, toy gun, bayonet fixed._) - - But he’s a big one. Pray don’t mention halving; - I grieve to say it, but the army’s— - - NOODLE. (_Sepulchrally._) Starving! - - G. K. Here’s insurrection! mutiny! revolt! - I’m not afraid, but p’raps I’d better bolt. - - (_ROOSTER, GENERAL and CAPTAIN run off, R._) - - G. K. Here officers, on your allegiance stay, - Protect your monarch now, don’t run away! - - (_Runs off R._) - - NOODLE. (_C. leaning on gun._) - I must confess. I think it’s rather hard. - For sixteen weeks I’ve been here, mounting guard. - I’ve eaten nothing but a rind of cheese, - And that wont help a man to “stand at ease.” - I never get to mess, but into _messes_, - The General’s joint is when the l_o_in_e_ he dresses. - That’s not the worst; it’s more than I can bear, - To hear the little beggar cry “form square!” - One into four, won’t go. He says it will. - Nothing goes into _me_ I know, but _drill_. - From morn till night he has me on my legs, - He’ll wear them off “as sure as eggs are eggs.” - He talks of “_wings_,” as if I were a bird. - “By your left wheel!” he cries. The thing’s absurd. - I’d like to know why should I _buy_ a _wheel_! - If I had any cash I’d buy a meal. - I’ll strike. Along the shore, I’ll take a stroll, - Perhaps the waves will give a nice fresh roll. - A witch foretold that here I’d meet my brother. - Alas, I fear we should not know each other. - I’ll put a board up, that will do to tell. - - (_Gets a piece of plank and writes on it in chalk. - “Dere brother I am hear close buy. - Yours_, - NOODLE.” - _To MISTER DOODLE. Places board against rock, R.C._) - - It’s fortunate at school I learnt to spell. - - (_Exit NOODLE, L. U. E._) - - (_Re-enter cautiously, KING, ROOSTER, GENERAL and CAPTAIN R._) - - G. B. The army’s disinfected! - - G. K. What’s the reason? - - ROOSTER. Off without _leave_, he’s gone. - - G. BOUNCE. No _leaf_! it’s _tree’s_-on! - - G. K. Pray cease your jokes, we have no time for fun. - This is an unkind _cut_, much over done. - The army gone! Say, is there further ill? - - ROOSTER. Allow me to present your tailors’ bill. - - (_Unfolds long roll of bill which runs out on the floor._) - - G. K. It must be done. A plan I’ll now unfold, - To fill our empty purse once more with gold. - Stay! Are we quite secure? - - (_Business; each going on tip-toe to R. and L. entrances, listening - and returning with exaggerated melodramatic action. Music, soft - chords. Stacato._) - - One word! I love! - - (_Loud chord, all start._) - - ROOSTER. (_Enquiringly._) Thou love’st? - - G. BOUNCE. (_Suspiciously._) He loves. - - CAPTAIN POUNCE. (_Confidentially._) We love! - - ROOSTER. (_Surprised._) Ye love! - - G. KING. (_Disgusted._) They love! - My love’s _declined_ with thanks. Alas, it’s true, - Kings are but mortals, and I love like you. - - ALL. The maid? - - G. KING. A mermaid. Nay, you should’nt start, - A mermaid, like a cabbage, has a heart. - I offered her my hand; in it the key - That opened locks to all the treasury. - My mountain diamond mines! my gold! I rave! - - G. B. She took it? - - G. KING. Yes, and flung it in the wave. - Since then, you know, I’ve not been worth a pin; - The rocky doors are closed, I can’t get in. - Listen. Next time she comes to land, we’ll seize her. - And till she fetches back that key, I’ll tease her. - Hullo! a step! - - (_All hide, R. & L. Enter PRINCE DOODLE off rock R._) - - DOODLE. Such fun! the mermaid nation, - Is not averse, I find, from small flirtation. - We’re getting on. - - (_Sees board._) - - What’s this! What have we here? - - (_Reads notice aloud._) - - Joy! joy! So then my long lost brother’s near. - He can’t be far, (_calls_) Hi! Noodle! Noodle! Noodle! - - (_Exit R. calling NOODLE. Enter MONA at centre, she hesitates, looks - round._) - - MONA. I wonder what’s become of darling Doodle. - - (_Comes down. G. King, and the others follow in stealthily; the G. - King has a veil._) - - We’re playing hide and seek. It’s charming play. - We play for kisses, and he always makes me pay. - I wonder where he’s gone! - - (_G. KING throws veil over her, she shrieks_.) - - We’ll hide you, miss; - Can’t you afford to give a King a kiss? - - (_She struggles._) - - Unless you get my golden key so shiny, - You may as well say ta, ta, to the briny. - - (_Scene closes in with view of the Cottage of the Maid of the Mill._) - - - SCENE II. - COQUETTINA’S COTTAGE. - - _COQUETTINA discovered looking at herself in a glass on L. wall. Arm - chair with cover on, R. Cupboard, R. Door, L. Barrel against - wall, L. Table with cover, C., candle burning on table._ - - COQ. There, that will do, that’s quite enough my dear. - Oh, Coquettina, you’re a flirt, I fear. - You naughty, naughty girl to act this way. - Ah! you’ll be very sorry, Miss, some day. - - (_Comes down._) - - I’m sure it’s not my fault. What can one do? - I dote on officers, and I’ve now got two. - The Captain’s not amiss; a handsome face! - And such a uniform! Oh, I love gold lace. - His pay’s so small—it’s not a bit of use. - But then the General’s such a dear—old goose. - He’s rather short and fat, and slightly lazy, - His conversation’s small; style, lackadaisy. - Still, who for _general_ conversation cares? - Ah, stay, I hear him puffing up the stairs. - - (_Seats herself hurriedly in chair, L., at back, and pretends to be - asleep. Rap heard at door, L., repeated twice. GENERAL BOUNCE puts - his head carefully into room_.) - - G. B. What, not at home! (_Comes down._) - These parlours in the sky - Are much like houses in Soho, _so high_. - I’m out of breath, and she’s out too, it’s clear, - I’ve had my climb for nothing. (_Sees COQUETTINA._) - (_Approaching her_) Ah, she’s here! - My dainty duck! my lamb, my tender chicken! - The cherries on those lips are worth the pickin’. - I must take one, though she may fume and flounce, - She’ll not object as Mrs. General Bounce. - - (_is about to kiss her, she starts up._) - - COQ. Ah, General! It’s you? - - G. B. (_confused_) I’m looking for— - - COQ. your _gout_? - A _taste_ of something good and nice, - Ah, _stout?_ - I see it’s _up_, (_Looking at him meaningly._) - You’d better take it down, - - (_Points to door._) - - GEN. B. Now what a tease you are! Come, do not frown. - Don’t, Coquettina, of my love make light. - You leant upon my arm quite hard last night. - Say you’ll be mine, come, Coquettina, do! - I am a single man. - - COQ. You’re big enough for two. - I’ve only one objection. - - GEN. B. What is that? - Pray _lean_ on me for life. - - COQ. _Lean!_ why, you’re _fat_! - - GEN. B. Call me not lean, but say I’m buxom, plump. - I am no scare-crow, made to run and jump. - To tell the _truth_, I like to take my ease, - I’m not a _skipper_ with a load of (_f_) “_lees_.” - Oh, that this too, too solid flesh would melt - To less than sixty inches round the belt! - - COQ. You can’t help that, _’tis you_. - - GEN. B. Well then, suppose - My _tissue is_ inclined to _adipose_. - You couldn’t _add a pose_ with all that tissue. - ’Twould be a _poser_ if I were to kiss you. - - COQ. Why what’s _possest_ the man? I’d like to see you! - - GEN. B. Well, so you shall. Here goes! (_He attempts - to chase her around stage, she easily eludes - him. Knock heard at door._) - - COQ. Oh, dear, oh, dear! - Mamma’s come back! Quick, General, get in here. - - (_pushes him into cupboard, R. Business, he not liking to go in. Rap - again._) - - Meet me beneath the haunted tree to-morrow. - - GEN. B. Adieu! - - COQ. Pray go! - - GEN. B. This parting’s such sweet sorrow. - - (_He goes into cupboard, crush of broken glass heard. He puts his head - out again._) - - I’ve sat upon your glasses! - - COQ. Take it easy. - My ab_sence_ won’t be long. - - GEN. B. (_Sniffs about cupboard._) Your _scents_ are cheesy. - - (_Exit into cupboard. She runs to door and opens it. Enter CAPT. - POUNCE. She curtseys, and looks down demurely. He comes front, - twirling his moustache._) - - CAPT. P. So this is where you live, child, is it, weally? - You’re up amongst the clouds here. - - COQ. Yes, Sir, nearly. - - CAPT. P. (_Gallantly_) For such a chewub quite a pwoper place. - (_Aside._) Upon my word, a vewy pwetty face! - - (_Looks out of window at R._) - - And what a view! All twees and sheep in flocks, - And wolling waves awound those wugged wocks. - - (_She is standing by him as he speaks the last words. He puts arm - round her waist._) - - COQ. _That’s_ not a “wugged wock.” Don’t let it trouble you, - But have you such a thing as a spare W? - - CAPT. T. Oh, weally, pon my life, you’re vewy pwetty. - - COQ. I thank you kindly, Sir. - - CAPT. P. And weally witty. - Yes. If I’d got some place to which to cawwy you, - Upon my word I’d weally like to mawwy you. - - COQ. (_Aside_) The darling! He’s a man a girl can love. - - CAPT. T. (_Looking on ground._) I fear I’ve lost it now. - - COQ. Your heart? - - CAPT. P. My glove. - - (_Loud sneezing from cupboard._) - - What’s that? - - COQ. The ginger beer has burst a bottle. - - CAPT. P. It sounded vewy like a human thwottle! - - (_Rap heard at door._) - - COQ. Ah, here’s mamma! quick, hide in this, now, see! - - (_Puts him into barrel. Business._) - - To-morrow meet me by the haunted tree. - - (_Throws cloth over top of barrel._) - - I’ll have such fun to-morrow for an hour. - - CAPT. P. (_Rising._) Look here, I say, this bawwel’s full of flour! - - (_She runs to him, forces him back and puts coverlet on again. Rap - again. She goes to door and opens it._) - - (_Enter ROOSTER THE AUDACIOUS, a big bundle of papers tied with red - tape, under his arm._) - - ROOS. Miss Coquettina, is your Ma’ within? - - (_Pulls out enormous watch from fob pocket._) - - I’ve twenty minutes left to woo and win. - - COQ. To woo and win! Upon my word that’s funny! - - ROOSTER. Business is business, Miss, and time is money. - All night I sat up on affairs of State. - I had to shave the King at half-past eight. - At nine to black his boots and brush his hair. - By ten, as President, I took the chair - Of the Society for Reforming Cats— - R. S. R. C. At twelve I sat on “Hats.” - - COQ. Hats! - - ROOS. Yes, and hatters, ’twas a much _felt_ question. - At one I had some lunch, and—indigestion. - At two I had to meet a deputation— - “Was it, or was it not, good for the nation - That folks should be allowed beef with their mustard,” - It was a serious matter. - - COQ. Were you flustered? - - ROOS. Oh, not at all, I said—If they could get it. - At two ’twas going on. - - COQ. So’s time. - - ROOS. Well, let it! - Till eight—three meetings; a foundation stone. - Then dressed the King for dinner; had my own. - Came here to pop the question—Will you wed? - I must get back to put the King to bed. - Say yes or no. - - COQ. You’d better ask mamma. - - (_Rap at door._) - - Not now! Some other time! - - ROOS. Yes! Now! - - COQ. No! - - ROOS. Bah! - - COQ. She may be angry. Get beneath the table. - Please. To oblige me. (_loud rap._) - - ROOS. Well, if I am able. - (_Gets under table._) I must confess I feel how ill you treat me. - - COQ. To-morrow, by the haunted tree you’ll meet me. - - (_Goes to door and open it. Enter G. KING. She curtseys. He chucks her - under chin._) - - GNOME KING. Well, lass, your pretty face I’ve long been missing. - You’ve got a kiss I hope— - - COQ. (_Coquettishly._) It’s always kissing. - Just like a man! He always _misses_ kisses. - - G. KING. It’s very hard a man can’t kiss his _misses_. - I’ll have your little head chopped off, Miss! Pray - Don’t make me angry! One! two! three! Away! - - COQ. Well, if you must, you must then; Take it, There! - - (_She turns back of head to him as he is about to kiss her._) - - What did it taste of _eh_ Sir? - - G. KING. _Hay?_ No! _Hare!_ - - COQ. Of course! It’s all my own. - - G. KING. Oh, _game_ you’re making! - - COQ. Oh, not at all, Sir, _I_ don’t go _hay raking_. - - G. KING. A kiss I’ll have! - - (_Runs after her, catches her, and is going to kiss her, when loud rap - is heard at door._) - - COQ. Mamma! - - G. KING. I’d like to choke her. - - COQ. Dear me! She’s awful with the kitchen poker! - You’d better hide, Sir. - - G. KING. Where? (_Runs to cupboard._) - - COQ. No, no! (_he runs towards barrel._) - Not there! (_He runs to table._) - I have it! Here! pretend to be a chair. - - (_She takes cover off chair and puts it over him with arms extended so - that he looks like a chair._) - - There! Now you’re safe, you need’nt now be daunted. - Meet me to-morrow by the tree that’s haunted. - - (_Goes to door, opens it and looks out._) - - What! no one here? how strange! who can it be? - Perhaps I’d better go outside and see. - - (_Goes outside. The “FAIRY OF THE FOREST” steps in and closes door._) - - FAIRY. Ah, Coquettina! oh, you naughty child! - In spite of all I’ve said, you _will_ be wild. - All right, Miss, I have such a rod in pickle! - But first these gentlemen in here I’ll tickle. - - (_Blows out candle. Stage darkens. She goes to cupboard and raps - gently, then to barrel, then to table, then to chair, and steps to - back of stage. All four come out and grope in the dark, avoiding - each other. They speak in whispers._) - - GEN. B. Here, Coquettina! - - CAPT. T. Deawest! - - ROOSTER. Where are you? - - KING. Come to my arms, my Coquettina, do! - - (_They all get into a circle in front of stage, each holding a hand of - the other. The fairy laughs, claps her hands, and fairies enter - with lanterns hung at the end of their wands. Stage lights up. - Quick curtain._) - -[Illustration] - - - SCENE III. - THE FOREST DELL. - - _Haunted tree C. at back. A large rock at R. of tree, upon which - NOODLE is seated._ - - NOODLE, (_Sneezing._) - - I’ve got a frightful cold. My Ms and Bs - Are all mixed up, likewise my Ls and Ds. - That Gnome King there, Oh, isn’t he a beauty! - Because, he said, I ran away from duty. - Fixed me by some enchantment to this stone, - And here he’s left me ever since, alone. - - (_Takes bottle from pocket._) - - Strolling the other day upon the sand, I - Found this. B. R. A. N. D. Y. spells brandy. - It isn’t bad, though how did it come here? - There’s been a shipwreck, that is very clear. - The country’s full of geese, too, it’s absurd! - Which ever way I turned I found a bird, - All dressed in sailor’s jackets, caps and things, - With spy glasses stuck underneath their wings. - - (_Enter MONA L. running._) - - MONA. There, I’ve escaped them! Now to find the shore, - I don’t think they will catch me any more. - - (_Moves toward tree._) - - It must be this way, I can scent the sea. - Ah! Who are you, sir, under that old tree. - - NOO. Don’t be afraid, fair maid, I cannot harm you; - Glued to this stone these _tones_ need not alarm you. - I can’t get up (_tries to rise_.) - - MONA. Why not? - - NOO. The Gnome has tied me. - - MONA. You have a story. Tell me. - - NOO. Sit beside me. - - (_MONA sits on rock other side of tree._) - - Long years ago I was a boy. - - MONA. How strange! - - NOO. A little tiny boy, so high. - - MONA. A change! - - NOO. I had an uncle, and I _was_ a prince. - My father died. _He_ seized the throne. - (_MONA starts_,) You wince. - - MONA. Oh not at all. Go on! I’ve heard a tale. - Like yours before. It’s very like a whale. - - NOO. My tail! there’s more behind. He then seized _me_ - And shipped me off, a little boy, to sea. - For many years I’ve wandered as a sailor, - And earned my salt as cook on board a whaler. - Shipwrecked upon this most unkindly shore, - I’ve lived a wretched life ten years or more. - The manikins who live down there below, - Took me, and made me giant in a show: - “Walk up! walk up! just going to begin.” - - (_imitates Showman._) - - That’s what they used to say to bring folks in— - “This giant is all real, no sawdust here!” - - MONA. Made you a giant, did they. That was queer. - - NOO. “There’s no deception, gents! no pads or straw!” - And then they’d pinch my legs to make me roar. - Stick pins into my calves. - - MONA. Oh, that was cruel. - - NOO. And if I would’t act they’d stop my gruel. - Well, now I’ve joined the army, serve the nation. - That means long drills, stiff collars and starvation. - I’ll make a raft or boat, and get away, - So sure as my name’s Noodle, miss, some day. - - MONA. What name? - - NOO. Why, Noodle. - - MONA. Noodle? - - NOO. Why not Noodle? - - MONA. You have a brother? - - NOO. Which his name is Doodle. - - (_Tries to rise._) - - Say, have you seen him? Is my brother here? - - MONA. He is. - - NOO. And I can’t leave my stony ‘_cheer_.’ - - MONA. I’ll go and seek him. (_Exit R._) - - NOO. Stay! She’s gone. What joy! - I havn’t seen my brother since a boy. - - (_Enter DOODLE hurriedly, L._) - - DOODLE. I’ve lost my mermaid! (_Sees NOODLE._) Ha! Pray who are you? - - NOO. (_Aside._) Is this my brother? Is your name, Sir, Doo—? - - DOO. It’s Noodle! (_Is going to rush towards him, but stops short - suddenly._) - Come though, this won’t do I say, - We mustn’t take things in this easy way. - Although perchance we may have had the same aunt. - There may perhaps, Sir, be another “Claimant.” - I’d like to ask a question. - - NOO. Ask a dozen. - - DOO. Pray, had your nurse, Sir, in the Guards a “cousin?” - - NOO. ’Tis strange, but true. - - DOO. ’Tis well! When you were able - You kicked you poor old pa beneath the table? - - (_NOODLE nods._) - - Say, did you once, upon your nurse’s lap, - By chance capsize a teaspoonful of pap? - - NOO. I did! I did! The circumstance pecoolia, - I now recall it. Which her name was Julia. - - DOO. Did you like sugar on your bread and butter? - - (_NOODLE nods._) - - Used you to play at marbles in the gutter? - - NOO. I must confess it. - - DOO. Now I think upon it. - Had you a bouncing B. once in your Bonnet. - - NOO. I had! I have! In fact, as I’m alive, - Not one bee only but a perfect hive. - - DOO. Have you on your left arm a strawberry mark? - - NOO. A perfect bed! You’d see them in the dark. - ’Tis he! ’tis he! My feelings I can’t smother; - Come to my arms my lengthy long lost brother! - - (_NOODLE tries to rise but cannot._) - - Why don’t you rise? - - NOO. I can’t, the Gnome King’s bound me. - I should have died down here if you’d not found me. - - DOO. What’s to be done? (_Trunk of tree opens, and discovers the - FAIRY OF THE FOREST._) - - FAIRY. Sprinkle him thrice, sprinkle him thrice, - With the water that trickles - And trickles and trickles - Down from the mountain - Here to the fountain. - Sprinkle and say, - One, two, three and away, - One, two, three and away. - - (_Trunk of tree closes again._) - - DOO. Ah, here’s the fountain, look! - - (_Runs off, R., and returns with water in the palm of his hand. Throws - it over NOODLE._) - - One, two, three and away! (_NOODLE springs up. He limps. The brothers - embrace._) - - NOO. I’m stiff as that old tree. - - _Enter MONA R., carrying large gold key_. - - MONA. You’ve found him, see! Look here! I’ve brought this key, - Key to the diamond mountain. Come! be quick: - We’ll play that dear old dwarf there such a trick. - - DOO. We’ll build a raft; with diamonds fill each sack; - Set sail before he knows— - - NOO. And not come back. - But where’s your crew? - - DOO. My crew? Oh there’s the rub, - I hav’nt got a crew to sail a tub. - A set of geese! (_Trunk of tree opens and shows FAIRY OF THE FOREST._) - - FAIRY. Sprinkle thrice, sprinkle thrice. - And your geese, in half a trice - Will disappear, and on the land, - Four and forty sailors stand. - - (_Trunk of tree closes._) - - DOO. A friend in need’s a friend indeed they say. Madam, we thank - you. Come, friends, let’s away. - - NOO. Let’s to the mountain; there our sacks we’ll fill. And get good - fortune from a monstrous _ill_. - - (_Exeunt, R., Trunk of tree opens. FAIRY OF THE FOREST descends, and - comes forward._) - - FAIRY. So far so good. Those captives stirred my pity, - And Maiden Mona is so good and pretty. - I hate that Gnome; he is so tough and tarty. (_looks off._) - Here’s naughty Coquettina and her party. - I’ll sprinkle magic water on them all, - And where they stand they’ll stay until I call. - - (_She returns into tree, which closes. Enter L. COQUETTINA hurriedly. - She looks back as she enters._) - - COQ. What fun! they’re coming all together here. - I’ll hide behind this tree. (_Trunk opens, FAIRY appears and sprinkles - her. She stops instantly._) - - FAIRY. You’ll not, my dear. - - (_Trunk closes. Enter R. and L. KING, ROOSTER, GENERAL BOUNCE and - CAPT. POUNCE. Different entrances. Music soft and staccato. As they - advance to centre, they see each other._) - - ALL. Hallo! - - (_Fairy appears; sprinkles them. They stop short and each retains the - position of the moment, Lime light. Scene closes in with cavern, - same as scene 1st, only opening at back closed in. Several sailors - cross the stage from L. to R., carrying sacks on their backs. - NOODLE and DOODLE bring up the rear, each carrying a sack. They - come front._) - - DOO. There! That’s the last, the raft won’t carry more. - And now set sail, and quit this unkind shore. - Where’s Mona? (_Enter MONA, R._) - - MONA. Here. Please, dear, before we go, - I wish to say good-bye to friends below. - - DOO. I’m not a fish! - - MONA. It’s done quite easily, - We’ll sink this cavern down below the sea. - - (_Enter L. KING, ROOSTER, GENERAL BOUNCE, CAPT. POUNCE, COQUETTINA._) - - G. KING. Mind your own business, Miss, leave mine alone. - I have a charm will turn you all to stone. - - (_Makes passes in the air. Enter L. FAIRY._) - - FAIRY. If you’re not good you’ll get another sprinkle. - - G. KING. I’d rather be a lobster or a winkle. - - MONA. Then here’s your key. Remember, don’t be cruel. - - NOO. And feed your army. Give your giants gruel. - - MONA. We’re going down. D’ye feel the motion? - - DOO. Well! - It’s easy as a lift in some hotel. - - (_All give a slight jump as though the bottom had been reached._) - - MONA. We’re there at last. Now let the water in. - Don’t be afraid, you will not wet your skin. - - (_Scene at back and sides gradually opens to soft music, and shows the_) - - MERMAID’S HAUNT. - - (_CORALINA descends in a coral car at back. Mermaids R. and L._) - - COQUETTINA. This is my home. Good-bye, dear friends, to-night, - And don’t forget your little Mermaid quite. - - FAIRY OF THE FOREST. The bottom of the sea! It’s like a dream. - - COQ. You’ve no society down here. - - MONA. The very cream. - - COQ. Perhaps it’s iced. I’m sure its very chilly. - - GEN. BOUNCE. It’s all _cold cream_, of course, you little silly! - - MONA. I hope you’re all content. - - NOODLE. Well, I don’t know. - Poor Coquettina here— - - DOODLE. Pray, where’s her beau? - - (_Coquettina, turns to CAPTAIN POUNCE._) - - CAPTAIN P. Ah! Weally sowwy! Can’t be done I fear, - When my superior officer is here. - - (_She turns to GENERAL BOUNCE._) - - GEN. B. Well! Hem! The situation’s most unpleasant, - But as for matrimony!—not at present. - Our friend here will oblige. Come, Rooster, say! - - (_She turns to ROOSTER._) - - ROOSTER. Too busy, now. Pray call another day. - - COQ. Oh! very well! I’m sure that I don’t care. - I’ll join the “Ladies Club.” They’ve no men there! - - G. KING. A gnome’s _un homme_ for all that. Here’s my _key_. - _C. flat’s_ found often down below the _C_. - One thing I know, if once I get above, - No man shall say the Gnome is crossed in love. - - GEN. B. A soldier’s duty lies in drill and glory, - But as for love, well, that’s another story. - - CAPT. P. Well, weally! Take things easy is my motto: - But fancy catching shwimps here in a gwotto! - - (_Pretends to catch Shrimp swimming past._) - - DOODLE. (_Putting his am round Mona’s waist._) - Though strange, a mermaid’s heart I hold in hand! - My geese are changed to sailors; there they stand. - We’ve found the diamond mine— - - NOO. And filled each sack. - - DOO. And as for uncle (_Turning up Coat cuffs._) - - NOO. Wait till we get back! - - MONA. Since all things wrong are now at last made right, - We only have a wish you all good-night. - - (_Red and green lights._) - - CORALINA. - FAIRY OF THE FOREST. - GENERAL BOUNCE. CAPTAIN POUNCE. - GNOME KING. ROOSTER. - MONA. COQUETTINA. - DOODLE. NOODLE. - - - _Curtain._ - ------------------------------------------------------------------------- - - - - - TRANSCRIBER’S NOTES - - - 1. Silently corrected typographical errors and variations in spelling. - 2. Archaic, non-standard, and uncertain spellings retained as printed. - 3. Enclosed italics font in _underscores_. The SMALL-CAPS was not - italicized. - 4. 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You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms of -the Project Gutenberg License included with this eBook or online at -www.gutenberg.org. If you are not located in the United States, you'll have -to check the laws of the country where you are located before using this ebook. - - - -Title: Maiden Mona the Mermaid - A Fairy Play for Fairy People - -Author: Frederick Augustus Dixon - -Release Date: May 20, 2020 [EBook #62183] - -Language: English - -Character set encoding: UTF-8 - -*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK MAIDEN MONA THE MERMAID *** - - - - -Produced by Richard Tonsing, Mary Glenn Krause, University -of Toronto's Thomas Fisher Rare Book Library and the Online -Distributed Proofreading Team at https://www.pgdp.net (This -file was produced from images generously made available -by The Internet Archive/American Libraries.) - - - - - - -</pre> - - -<div class='tnotes covernote'> - -<p class='c000'><b>Transcriber’s Note:</b></p> - -<p class='c000'>The cover image was created by the transcriber and is placed in the public domain.</p> - -</div> - -<div class='figcenter id001'> -<img src='images/i_001.jpg' alt='A Fairy Play for Fairy People.' class='ig001' /> -</div> - -<div class='titlepage'> - -<div> - <h1 class='c001'>MAIDEN MONA THE MERMAID.<br /> <span class='xlarge'><span class='fixed'>A Fairy Play for Fairy People.</span></span></h1> -</div> - -<div class='nf-center-c0'> -<div class='nf-center c002'> - <div>BY</div> - <div class='c003'><span class='xlarge'>F. A. D.</span></div> - </div> -</div> - -<div class='figcenter id002'> -<img src='images/i_titlepagedetail.jpg' alt='' class='ig001' /> -</div> - -<div class='nf-center-c0'> - <div class='nf-center'> - <div>TORONTO:</div> - <div><span class='large'>BELFORD BROS., PUBLISHERS.</span></div> - <div class='c003'>MDCCCLXXVII.</div> - </div> -</div> - -</div> - -<div class='lg-container-l c004'> - <div class='linegroup'> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line'><span class='sc'>Dudley & Burns, Printers.</span></div> - <div class='line in4'><span class='sc'>Hunter, Rose & Co., Bookbinders.</span></div> - </div> - </div> -</div> - -<div class='figcenter id003'> -<img src='images/i_005.jpg' alt='TO THE CHILDREN OF THEIR EXCELLENCIES, THE EARL AND COUNTESS OF DUFFERIN. THE Merry Little Party of Actors, FOR Whose Christmas Fun these Plays are Written, THIS LITTLE VOLUME, With this a sole excuse for its nonsense, IS Affectionately Dedicated.' class='ig001' /> -</div> -<div class='pbb'> - <hr class='pb c004' /> -</div> - -<div class='chapter'> - <h2 class='c005'>MAIDEN MONA THE MERMAID.</h2> -</div> - -<h3 class='c006'>DRAMATIS PERSONÆ.</h3> - -<p class='c007'><span class='sc'>The Gnome King.</span>—<i>A penniless potentate who used to play first fiddle, -but has lost his key.</i></p> - -<p class='c008'><span class='sc'>O’Rooster the Audacious.</span>—<i>High Cockolorum. Master of the (rocking) -Horse. First Lord of the Shaving Brush. Gold Stick in w(h)aiting to the -King, and a warm stick, in plaster to Coquettina, Q.E.D.; R.S.V.P.; -R.I.P.; etc., etc., etc.</i></p> - -<p class='c008'><span class='sc'>General Bounce.</span>—<i>No relation to General De Billy Tee.</i></p> - -<p class='c008'><span class='sc'>Captain Pounce.</span>—<i>Not Kept-in-pounds, shillings and pence, alas! Too -poor to “mawwy.</i>”</p> - -<table class='table0' summary=''> -<colgroup> -<col width='10%' /> -<col width='90%' /> -</colgroup> - <tr> - <td class='c009'><span class='sc'>Noodle</span>,<br /><span class='sc'>Doodle</span>.</td> - <td class='blt c009'><i>Twins and orphans; without, strange to say, a single parent left, (of course, a single pair ain’t right.) Their prospects, however, are in a fine pickle, which is something.</i></td> - </tr> -</table> - -<div class='lg-container-l c010'> - <div class='linegroup'> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line'><span class='sc'>Mona the Mermaid.</span>—<i>Only a mer(e)maid she.</i></div> - <div class='line in22'><i>The Queen of dainty, wee things.</i></div> - <div class='line in20'><i>Fresh from the seething waves.</i></div> - <div class='line in22'><i>The last sweet thing in sea things.</i></div> - <div class='line in48'><span class='sc'>M-r-t-n T-pp-r.</span></div> - </div> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line'><span class='sc'>Coquettina.</span>—<i>The Maid of the Mil(itary). Such a pet!</i></div> - </div> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line'><span class='sc'>The Fairy of the Forest.</span>—“<i>The meet little cherub who sits up aloft</i></div> - <div class='line in28'><i>And takes care of the life of poor Jack.</i>”</div> - <div class='line in34'>(<i>Mr. Noodle.</i>)</div> - <div class='line in56'><span class='sc'>Sh-k-sp-r.</span></div> - </div> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line'><span class='sc'>Coralina.</span>—<i>A duodecimo edition of a darling.</i></div> - </div> - </div> -</div> - -<h3 class='c006'><span class='large'>CAST OF CHARACTERS.</span></h3> - -<table class='table1' summary='CAST OF CHARACTERS'> -<colgroup> -<col width='50%' /> -<col width='50%' /> -</colgroup> - <tr><td class='c011' colspan='2'><img src='images/i_008.jpg' alt='GOVERNMENT HOUSE OTTAWA' class='c012' /></td></tr> - <tr><td> </td></tr> - <tr><td class='c011' colspan='2'><span class='large'>New Year’s Day, 1877.</span></td></tr> - <tr><td> </td></tr> - <tr><td> </td></tr> - <tr> - <td class='c013'><span class='sc'>The Gnome King</span></td> - <td class='c014'><span class='sc'>Hon. Terence Blackwood.</span></td> - </tr> - <tr> - <td class='c013'><span class='sc'>O’Rooster the Audacious</span></td> - <td class='c014'><span class='sc'>Mr. Edward Littleton.</span></td> - </tr> - <tr> - <td class='c013'><span class='sc'>General Bounce</span></td> - <td class='c014'><span class='sc'>Mr. Algernon Blackwood.</span></td> - </tr> - <tr> - <td class='c013'><span class='sc'>Captain Pounce</span></td> - <td class='c014'><span class='sc'>Hon. Basil Blackwood.</span></td> - </tr> - <tr> - <td class='c013'><span class='sc'>Noodle</span></td> - <td class='c014'><span class='sc'>Captain Ward</span>, A.D.C.</td> - </tr> - <tr> - <td class='c013'><span class='sc'>Doodle</span></td> - <td class='c014'><span class='sc'>Captain Hamilton</span>, A.D.C.</td> - </tr> - <tr> - <td class='c013'><span class='sc'>Mona the Mermaid</span></td> - <td class='c014'><span class='sc'>Lady Helen Blackwood.</span></td> - </tr> - <tr> - <td class='c013'><span class='sc'>Coquettina</span></td> - <td class='c014'><span class='sc'>Miss Margaret Littleton.</span></td> - </tr> - <tr> - <td class='c013'><span class='sc'>The Fairy of the Forest</span></td> - <td class='c014'><span class='sc'>Lady Hermione Blackwood.</span></td> - </tr> - <tr> - <td class='c013'><span class='sc'>Coralina</span></td> - <td class='c014'><span class='sc'>Lady Victoria Blackwood.</span></td> - </tr> -</table> - -<div class='figcenter id004'> -<img src='images/i_009a.jpg' alt='' class='ig001' /> -</div> -<div> - <span class='pageno' id='Page_9'>9</span> - <h3 class='c006'>SCENE I.</h3> -</div> - -<p class='c015'><i>Cavern on the Sea Coast by Moonlight.—Opening in Rocks -at Back, showing Sea.—The Waves are Rising and -Running into Mouth of Cavern.—Introductory Music Descriptive -of Storm; Thunder Heard Behind.—Music Gradually -Changes to Soft Measured Air as Curtain Rises.—Prince -Doodle Discovered Lying on Rocks at Back. R. C. -as though Cast up by the Waves.—Enter through Opening -Mona.—She Comes Down, Combing Her Hair with a -Golden Comb through the following</i>:—</p> - -<div class='figleft id005'> -<img src='images/di_009b.jpg' alt='' class='ig001' /> -</div> -<div class='lg-container-l c010'> - <div class='linegroup'> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line in2'><span class='sc'>Mona.</span> Why, what a dreadful stormy night we’re getting,</div> - <div class='line'>It’s well for me I do not mind a wetting!</div> - <div class='line'>Full fathom five below those crested waves</div> - <div class='line'>No tempests ever stir <i>our</i> coral caves.</div> - <div class='line'>We hear no thunder far below the sea;</div> - <div class='line'>The mermaids’ haunt is still as still can be;</div> - <div class='line'>In fact it’s rather dull sometimes down there,</div> - <div class='line'>And so I come up here and comb my hair.</div> - </div> - </div> -</div> - -<div class='lg-container-r c010'> - <div class='linegroup'> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line'>(<i>Moves towards back.</i>)</div> - </div> - </div> -</div> - -<div class='lg-container-l c010'> - <div class='linegroup'> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line'>To-night, alas! another ship went down,</div> - <div class='line'>I cannot bear to see poor sailors drown.</div> - </div> - </div> -</div> - -<div class='lg-container-r c010'> - <div class='linegroup'> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line'>(<i>Sees <span class='sc'>Prince Doodle</span>.</i>)</div> - </div> - </div> -</div> - -<div class='lg-container-l c010'> - <div class='linegroup'> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line'><span class='pageno' id='Page_10'>10</span>Good gracious! What is this? As I am alive,</div> - <div class='line'>Why, it’s a man! I know it is!</div> - </div> - </div> -</div> - -<div class='lg-container-r c010'> - <div class='linegroup'> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line'>(<i>Steps hurriedly on rock as though going to plunge into sea.</i>)</div> - </div> - </div> -</div> - -<div class='lg-container-l c010'> - <div class='linegroup'> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line in36'>I’ll dive!</div> - <div class='line'>I won’t! (<i>comes down</i>) I will! (<i>goes up</i>) No!</div> - <div class='line'>(<i>Hesitates.</i>) Shall I? Will it bite?</div> - <div class='line'>It’s not a shark? (<i>Goes up and peeps, comes back holding</i></div> - <div class='line'><i>hand to heart.</i>) It’s put me in a fright.</div> - <div class='line in2'>Mona! you silly goose! This palpitation</div> - <div class='line'>Is strange perhaps, but not a bad sensation.</div> - <div class='line'>I rather like it. Is it fear? No question!</div> - <div class='line'>I’m not afraid! Perhaps it’s indigestion?</div> - <div class='line'>I’ll take another peep.</div> - </div> - </div> -</div> - -<div class='lg-container-r c010'> - <div class='linegroup'> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line'>(<i>Goes to <span class='sc'>Prince</span> on tip_toe, and comes away rapidly, clapping her hands.</i>)</div> - </div> - </div> -</div> - -<div class='lg-container-l c010'> - <div class='linegroup'> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line in22'>He’s charming, really!</div> - <div class='line'>If I could take him home I’d like to dearly.</div> - <div class='line'>How nice he’d be to play with! Shall I try?</div> - <div class='line'>He’s fast asleep! I’m sure he wouldn’t die.</div> - </div> - </div> -</div> - -<div class='lg-container-r c010'> - <div class='linegroup'> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line'>(<i>Tries to raise him. He groans.</i>)</div> - </div> - </div> -</div> - -<div class='lg-container-l c010'> - <div class='linegroup'> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line'>His clothes are wet, perhaps he’s shipwrecked, too.</div> - </div> - </div> -</div> - -<div class='lg-container-r c010'> - <div class='linegroup'> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line'>(<i><span class='sc'>Prince</span> slowly sits up holding his hand to his side.</i>)</div> - </div> - </div> -</div> - -<div class='lg-container-l c010'> - <div class='linegroup'> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line'>Good evening, sir. (<i>Curtesying.</i>)</div> - </div> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line in2'><span class='sc'>Prince Doodle.</span> Good evening. How d’ye do?</div> - </div> - </div> -</div> - -<div class='lg-container-r c010'> - <div class='linegroup'> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line'>(<i>Rises with difficulty and comes forward.</i>)</div> - </div> - </div> -</div> - -<div class='lg-container-l c010'> - <div class='linegroup'> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line'>Where am I? Who are you? What’s this? (<i>Feels water.</i>) It’s water!</div> - </div> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line in2'><span class='pageno' id='Page_11'>11</span><span class='sc'>Mona.</span> This is the Norway coast, and I’m its daughter.</div> - <div class='line'>Young sir, you’re wet! your coat——</div> - <div class='line in29'>Might be a better ’un.</div> - <div class='line'>I’m <i>young</i>; but still you won’t find here a <i>wetter</i> ’un.</div> - </div> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line in2'><span class='sc'>Mona.</span> Tell me your tale, for stories I love well.</div> - </div> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line in2'><span class='sc'>Prince Doodle.</span> Story; why bless you! I have none to tell;</div> - <div class='line'>Only last night, a-sailing on the ocean,</div> - <div class='line'>There came a squall, at least so I’ve a notion.</div> - <div class='line'>It stormed! it blew! it rained! the lightning crashed!</div> - <div class='line'>We pitched and rolled, (<i>imitates motion of ship</i>) and tossed, the thunder flashed;</div> - <div class='line'>The wind, it rose and howled, and so did we.</div> - </div> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line in2'><span class='sc'>Mona.</span> That’s very queer!</div> - </div> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line in2'><span class='sc'>Prince Doodle.</span>           Things often are at sea.</div> - <div class='line'>“Cut down the starboard stays’l!” cried I. Then</div> - <div class='line'>“Splice the jib-boom, there, to the cross-trees, men!”</div> - </div> - </div> -</div> - -<div class='lg-container-r c010'> - <div class='linegroup'> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line'>(<i>Speaks excitedly, suiting action to words, and using hands as speaking trumpet</i>,)</div> - </div> - </div> -</div> - -<div class='lg-container-l c010'> - <div class='linegroup'> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line'>“Stand by to hoist the to’gallant sheet anchor!</div> - <div class='line'>Take a pull on the weather lee scuppers, my hearties!</div> - <div class='line'>Let the mizzen binnacle go with a run!”</div> - </div> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line in2'><span class='sc'>Mona.</span> (<i>Clapping her hands with delight.</i>)</div> - <div class='line'>I like to hear you talk. Go on! What fun!</div> - </div> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line in2'><span class='sc'>Prince Doodle.</span> (<i>Disgusted at interruption.</i>)</div> - <div class='line'>That’s all.</div> - </div> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line in2'><span class='pageno' id='Page_12'>12</span><span class='sc'>Mona.</span> (<i>Disappointed.</i>) That’s not the end?</div> - </div> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line in2'><span class='sc'>Prince Doodle.</span>            ’Twon’t take a minuit.</div> - <div class='line'>The ship she gave a lurch; and—left us in it.</div> - <div class='line'>Then to a hen coop clung the crew of forty-five;</div> - </div> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line in2'><span class='sc'>Mona.</span> They’re drowned? (<i>clasping her hands in horror.</i>)</div> - </div> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line in2'><span class='sc'>Prince Doodle.</span> Oh, not at all; they’re all alive.</div> - <div class='line'>They flew away.</div> - </div> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line in2'><span class='sc'>Mona.</span>                             What, men!</div> - </div> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line in2'><span class='sc'>Prince Doodle.</span>             No; geese, my dear!</div> - <div class='line'>I’m rather mixed. Perhaps my head is queer.</div> - <div class='line'>Listen, and I’ll a tale unfold to harrow——</div> - </div> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line in2'><span class='sc'>Mona.</span> (<i>Shrinking back</i>)</div> - <div class='line'>Ah! Don’t!</div> - </div> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line in2'><span class='sc'>Prince Doodle.</span>           A tale to fr-r-r-r-eeze——</div> - </div> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line in2'><span class='sc'>Mona.</span>                              Oh, dear!</div> - </div> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line in2'><span class='sc'>Prince Doodle.</span>                       Your marrow!</div> - </div> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line in2'><span class='sc'>Prince Doodle.</span> (<i>Loud chord, and tremulo music through the following.</i>)</div> - <div class='line'>I have an uncle!</div> - </div> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line in2'><span class='sc'>Mona.</span>          Not uncommon, surely.</div> - </div> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line in2'><span class='sc'>Prince Doodle.</span> Some years ago, my poor papa, felt poorly;</div> - <div class='line'>Took to his bed, and—died—they say most queerly.</div> - <div class='line'>My uncle deals in magic? See you?</div> - </div> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line in2'><span class='pageno' id='Page_13'>13</span><span class='sc'>Mona.</span>                          Clearly!</div> - </div> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line in2'><span class='sc'>Prince Doodle.</span> My parent gone, th’ apparent heir was I!</div> - <div class='line'>To gain the throne he wished that I should die.</div> - <div class='line'>And then, because I couldn’t see why he,</div> - <div class='line'>Instead of I, the nation’s king should be;</div> - <div class='line'>He shipped me off, alone, to go to <i>see</i>,</div> - <div class='line'>Alone I said! not so! off was I cast</div> - <div class='line'>With four and forty geese before the mast!</div> - <div class='line'>His parting words were these:—“Return, my dear,</div> - <div class='line'>(Of course the whole thing was a jibe and sneer)</div> - <div class='line'>When’ere a mermaid’s heart you hold in hand,</div> - <div class='line'>And four and forty men before me stand,</div> - <div class='line'>In place of all these geese I send as crew.</div> - <div class='line'>’Till then—‘O reservoir!’ my boy! adieu!”</div> - </div> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line in2'><span class='sc'>Mona.</span> Oh! what a dreadful man!</div> - </div> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line in2'><span class='sc'>Prince Doodle.</span>       He seized my brother;</div> - <div class='line'>And swore we ne’er again should see each other</div> - <div class='line'>Until this mermaid I should meet, so kind,</div> - <div class='line'>And then a mountain full of diamonds find.</div> - <div class='line'>The thing is absurd! There are no mermaids here,</div> - <div class='line'>My uncle has the thro<i>wn</i>; I’m <i>pitched out</i> clear!</div> - </div> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line in2'><span class='sc'>Mona.</span> The diamond mountain of the Gnome King, see</div> - </div> - </div> -</div> - -<div class='lg-container-r c010'> - <div class='linegroup'> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line'>(<i>Points off L.</i>)</div> - </div> - </div> -</div> - -<div class='lg-container-l c010'> - <div class='linegroup'> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line'>It’s full of diamonds: full as full can be.</div> - </div> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line in2'><span class='sc'>Prince Doodle.</span> What’s that you say? That mountain! It’s all rock.</div> - <div class='line'><span class='pageno' id='Page_14'>14</span>Diamonds inside! Oh, come! you only mock!</div> - <div class='line'>I’d like to see my brother—</div> - </div> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line in2'><span class='sc'>Mona.</span>                            What’s your name?</div> - </div> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line in2'><span class='sc'>Prince Doodle.</span> Oh! I’m a Prince, Prince Doodle.</div> - </div> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line in2'><span class='sc'>Mona.</span>                       What a shame!</div> - </div> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line in2'><span class='sc'>Prince Doodle.</span> My kingdom’s in Cockagne, you must have heard</div> - <div class='line'>Of Cock-a-doodle-do. (<i>She shakes head.</i>) That noble bird</div> - <div class='line'>Was a remote progenitor. Indeed,</div> - <div class='line'>Our pedigree, by Darwin, you can read.</div> - </div> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line in2'><span class='sc'>Mona.</span> I never learnt to read. Stay! (<i>puts fingers to forehead</i>) on me dawns,</div> - <div class='line'>A notion (<i>triumphantly</i>) that’s where people live “<i>en Prince?</i>” (<i>pronounce “on prawns.”</i>)</div> - </div> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line in2'><span class='sc'>Prince Doodle.</span> (<i>Aside.</i>) <i>A notion</i> fishy! (<i>Aloud.</i>) No, my dear, on <i>shrimps</i>!</div> - <div class='line'>Your friends?—They’re?——</div> - </div> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line in2'><span class='sc'>Mona.</span>                  Mermaids.</div> - </div> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line in2'><span class='sc'>Prince Doodle.</span>               <i>water-“nimps?”</i></div> - <div class='line'>Why <i>w(h)at a—(looks towards her feet) tail</i>?</div> - <div class='line in30'>Forgive the observation,</div> - <div class='line'>Is there not something queer in your formation?</div> - <div class='line'>(<i>Hesitatingly.</i>) You don’t wear boots and shoes? (<i>aside</i>)</div> - <div class='line in30'>Ah, that a fix is!</div> - <div class='line'>They <i>can’t</i> of course!</div> - </div> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line in2'><span class='pageno' id='Page_15'>15</span><span class='sc'>Mona.</span>             Why not? My number’s “sixes.”</div> - <div class='line'>You never heard of <i>soles</i> and <i>eels</i>?</div> - </div> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line in2'><span class='sc'>Prince Doodle.</span>                Yes, fried!</div> - </div> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line in2'><span class='sc'>Mona.</span> Around our grottoes, there(<i>’s</i>) <i>sea-horses</i>(<i>’s</i>) <i>hide</i>.</div> - <div class='line'>For <i>bark</i>——you’ve heard the “moaning of the <i>tied</i>,”</div> - <div class='line'>And <i>hide</i> and <i>bark</i> make leather, eh?</div> - </div> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line in2'><span class='sc'>Prince Doodle.</span>                           Of course!</div> - <div class='line'>(<i>Aside.</i>) I’ve traced my <i>night mare</i> up to its <i>sea-horse</i>;</div> - <div class='line'>A mermaid! Here’s my chance! (<i>Aloud.</i>) Dear me! How stupid!</div> - <div class='line'>(<i>Aside.</i>) Now aid me, Venus!</div> - </div> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line in2'><span class='sc'>Mona.</span> (<i>Overheating aside.</i>) Venus! He must be Cupid!</div> - <div class='line'>Why how the boy has grown! (<i>Aloud.</i>) Is she your “Ma?”</div> - </div> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line in2'><span class='sc'>Prince Doodle.</span> Alas, sweet maid! I am an orphan! (<i>sighs</i>) Ah!</div> - <div class='line'>With ne’er a <i>parent</i>, we’re a <i>pair rent</i>, too.</div> - </div> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line in2'><span class='sc'>Mona.</span> You have my sympathy, what can I do!</div> - </div> - </div> -</div> - -<div class='lg-container-r c010'> - <div class='linegroup'> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line'>(<i>Aside, holding hand to heart.</i>)</div> - </div> - </div> -</div> - -<div class='lg-container-l c010'> - <div class='linegroup'> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line'>Dear me! That queer sensation’s come again!</div> - </div> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line in2'><span class='sc'>Prince Doodle.</span>    Your sympathy, <i>see, mends</i> an orphan’s <i>pain</i>,</div> - <div class='line'>My <i>loving, lass</i>!</div> - </div> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line in2'><span class='pageno' id='Page_16'>16</span><span class='sc'>Mona.</span>                Your <i>glass</i>, I’d mend, Prince, but I</div> - <div class='line'>Regret I’ve neither got <i>cements</i> nor putty.</div> - </div> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line in2'><span class='sc'>Prince Doodle.</span> Say, could you learn to love?</div> - </div> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line in2'><span class='sc'>Mona.</span> (<i>Innocently.</i>) You’ll teach me your way?</div> - </div> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line in2'><span class='sc'>Prince Doodle.</span> It’s plain! No doubt it’s much the same in Norway.</div> - </div> - </div> -</div> - -<div class='lg-container-r c010'> - <div class='linegroup'> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line'>(<i>He puts arm round her waist and is going to kiss her, when he looks off L.</i>)</div> - </div> - </div> -</div> - -<div class='lg-container-l c010'> - <div class='linegroup'> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line'>See! yonder comes a <i>N’orse-man</i> on an <i>’orse</i>!</div> - </div> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line in2'><span class='sc'>Mona.</span> Oh! Let us fly! The Gnome King!</div> - </div> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line in2'><span class='sc'>Prince Doodle.</span>                       Fly! Of course.</div> - <div class='line'>If you’ll fly with me, dear, we’ll never part.</div> - </div> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line in2'><span class='sc'>Mona.</span> (<i>Aside.</i>) I’ve just discovered that I’ve got—a heart!</div> - </div> - </div> -</div> - -<div class='lg-container-r c010'> - <div class='linegroup'> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line'>(<i>Exeunt through opening at back R. U. E. Enter L. 2 E. The <span class='sc'>Gnome King</span> on a rocking horse, attended by <span class='sc'>Rooster the Audacious</span>, <span class='sc'>General Bounce</span>, and <span class='sc'>Captain Pounce</span>.</i>)</div> - </div> - </div> -</div> - -<div class='lg-container-l c010'> - <div class='linegroup'> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line in2'><span class='sc'>Gnome King.</span> Whoa! Steady, boy! Here take this beast away</div> - <div class='line'>And stuff his mouldy ribs with ancient hay.</div> - <div class='line'>(<i>Exit R.U.E. <span class='sc'>Captain Pounce</span> with horse; he returns</i></div> - <div class='line'><i>front</i>) The only steed in all our royal stable;</div> - <div class='line'>We’d keep a dozen were we only able.</div> - <div class='line'>The times are hard and out of joint ’tis clear.</div> - <div class='line'>We’re out of <i>joints</i> ourselves—and beer,</div> - <div class='line'>Ha! ha! (<i>to <span class='sc'>Rooster</span>.</i>) Why can’t you laugh? Ha! ha!</div> - </div> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line in2'><span class='pageno' id='Page_17'>17</span><span class='sc'>Rooster</span>, (<i>feebly</i>,)                      He! he!</div> - </div> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line in2'><span class='sc'>G. King.</span> What mean these looks, you’re very grave, I see.</div> - <div class='line'>Well, let’s to business. What are all these matters?</div> - <div class='line'>We want some coin, our robes are torn to tatters.</div> - </div> - </div> -</div> - -<div class='c016'>(<i>seats himself on rock. R.</i>)</div> -<div class='lg-container-l c010'> - <div class='linegroup'> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line'>Let’s hear the worst. Produce your budget, quick!</div> - <div class='line'>Bring lights! Pray what’s the price of candles, <i>stick</i>?</div> - </div> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line'>(<i><span class='sc'>Rooster</span> aside.</i>) There’s not a candle left. (<i>aloud</i>) It’s nearly morning.</div> - <div class='line'>(<i>aside</i>) What shall I say. (<i>aloud</i>) Sir, see the day is dawning.</div> - </div> - </div> -</div> - -<div class='lg-container-r c010'> - <div class='linegroup'> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line'>(<i>Stage gradually grows light.</i>)</div> - </div> - </div> -</div> - -<div class='lg-container-l c010'> - <div class='linegroup'> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line in2'><span class='sc'>G. King.</span> Well, how’s the Exchequer?</div> - </div> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line in2'><span class='sc'>Roos.</span>          Empty.</div> - </div> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line in2'><span class='sc'>G. King.</span>                        Stock it.</div> - </div> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line in2'><span class='sc'>Roos.</span> I’ve eighteen pence, sir, in my waistcoat pocket.</div> - <div class='line'>It’s pretty clear we must increase taxation.</div> - </div> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line in2'>G. K. We’ll tax the gnomes of each denomination.</div> - </div> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line in2'><span class='sc'>Roos.</span> They’re taxed already, sir, wholesale and retail.</div> - </div> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line in2'>G. K. Tax them some more.</div> - </div> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line in2'><span class='sc'>Roos.</span>         But how?</div> - </div> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line in2'>G. K.                          Well, that’s a detail.</div> - <div class='line'>Taxes. Tax every thing and every body,</div> - <div class='line'><span class='pageno' id='Page_18'>18</span>Toffee and tubs, ice cream and whiskey toddy.</div> - <div class='line'>Tax folks who fish—for compliments or salmon.</div> - <div class='line'>Lay taxes on their corns for shooting.</div> - </div> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line in2'><span class='sc'>Roos.</span>                          (<i>aside</i>) Gammon.</div> - <div class='line'>You’re pleased to joke. The situation’s grave.</div> - </div> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line in2'>G. K. And so am I. I’m quite in earnest, slave.</div> - <div class='line'>Then, tax the air they breathe, the <i>airs</i> they hear,</div> - <div class='line'>And tax their wives, it’s right <i>they</i> should be <i>dear</i>.</div> - <div class='line'>Tax all pet oysters, sprats and whales they’re keeping.</div> - <div class='line'>Tax ’em for eating, drinking, also sleeping.</div> - <div class='line'>Tax them besides for laughing, singing, crying.</div> - <div class='line'>And lay a heavy tax on folks for <i>dye</i>ing.</div> - <div class='line'>Put taxes on the nation’s food and fuel,</div> - <div class='line'>From turtle soup, to grits for babies’ gruel.</div> - <div class='line'>Stay, here I have it! why, of course, you gabies</div> - <div class='line'>You’d make a fortune by a tax on babies.</div> - </div> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line in2'><span class='sc'>General Bounce.</span> (<i>hesitatingly</i>) Can’t we economise, that’s my suggestion,</div> - <div class='line'>What’s Toby and what’s not Toby’s the question?</div> - </div> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line in2'>G. K. Well, how’s the army? can we cut it down?</div> - <div class='line'>Make sixpence go as far as half a crown?</div> - </div> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line in2'><span class='sc'>G. Bounce.</span> One General, (<i>points to self</i>,) and one Captain of the forces.</div> - </div> - </div> -</div> - -<div class='lg-container-r c010'> - <div class='linegroup'> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line'>(<i>Points to <span class='sc'>Captain Pounce</span>.</i>)</div> - </div> - </div> -</div> - -<div class='lg-container-l c010'> - <div class='linegroup'> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line'>An inefficient staff, sir, that of course is;</div> - <div class='line'>Of cavalry we’ve none.</div> - </div> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line in2'>G. K.                               The “Ryle Artileree?”</div> - </div> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line in2'><span class='pageno' id='Page_19'>19</span>G. B. Burst up.</div> - </div> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line in2'>G. K.            The Infantry?</div> - </div> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line in2'>G. B.                  All here you see.</div> - </div> - </div> -</div> - -<div class='lg-container-r c010'> - <div class='linegroup'> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line'>(<i>Enter <span class='sc'>Noodle</span>, as full private, toy gun, bayonet fixed.</i>)</div> - </div> - </div> -</div> - -<div class='lg-container-l c010'> - <div class='linegroup'> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line'>But he’s a big one. Pray don’t mention halving;</div> - <div class='line'>I grieve to say it, but the army’s—</div> - </div> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line in2'><span class='sc'>Noodle.</span> (<i>Sepulchrally.</i>)        Starving!</div> - </div> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line in2'>G. K. Here’s insurrection! mutiny! revolt!</div> - <div class='line'>I’m not afraid, but p’raps I’d better bolt.</div> - </div> - </div> -</div> - -<div class='lg-container-r c010'> - <div class='linegroup'> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line'>(<i><span class='sc'>Rooster</span>, <span class='sc'>General</span> and <span class='sc'>Captain</span> run off, R.</i>)</div> - </div> - </div> -</div> - -<div class='lg-container-l c010'> - <div class='linegroup'> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line in2'>G. K. Here officers, on your allegiance stay,</div> - <div class='line'>Protect your monarch now, don’t run away!</div> - </div> - </div> -</div> - -<div class='lg-container-r c010'> - <div class='linegroup'> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line'>(<i>Runs off R.</i>)</div> - </div> - </div> -</div> - -<div class='lg-container-l c010'> - <div class='linegroup'> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line in2'><span class='sc'>Noodle.</span>                         (<i>C. leaning on gun.</i>)</div> - <div class='line'>I must confess. I think it’s rather hard.</div> - <div class='line'>For sixteen weeks I’ve been here, mounting guard.</div> - <div class='line'>I’ve eaten nothing but a rind of cheese,</div> - <div class='line'>And that wont help a man to “stand at ease.”</div> - <div class='line'>I never get to mess, but into <i>messes</i>,</div> - <div class='line'>The General’s joint is when the l<i>o</i>in<i>e</i> he dresses.</div> - <div class='line'>That’s not the worst; it’s more than I can bear,</div> - <div class='line'>To hear the little beggar cry “form square!”</div> - <div class='line'>One into four, won’t go. He says it will.</div> - <div class='line'>Nothing goes into <i>me</i> I know, but <i>drill</i>.</div> - <div class='line'>From morn till night he has me on my legs,</div> - <div class='line'>He’ll wear them off “as sure as eggs are eggs.”</div> - <div class='line'><span class='pageno' id='Page_20'>20</span>He talks of “<i>wings</i>,” as if I were a bird.</div> - <div class='line'>“By your left wheel!” he cries. The thing’s absurd.</div> - <div class='line'>I’d like to know why should I <i>buy</i> a <i>wheel</i>!</div> - <div class='line'>If I had any cash I’d buy a meal.</div> - <div class='line'>I’ll strike. Along the shore, I’ll take a stroll,</div> - <div class='line'>Perhaps the waves will give a nice fresh roll.</div> - <div class='line'>A witch foretold that here I’d meet my brother.</div> - <div class='line'>Alas, I fear we should not know each other.</div> - <div class='line'>I’ll put a board up, that will do to tell.</div> - </div> - </div> -</div> - -<div class='lg-container-r c010'> - <div class='linegroup'> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line in20'>(<i>Gets a piece of plank and writes on it in chalk.</i></div> - <div class='line in36'><i>“Dere brother I am hear close buy.</i></div> - <div class='line in52'><i>Yours</i>,</div> - <div class='line in58'><span class='sc'>Noodle</span>.”</div> - <div class='line'><i>To <span class='sc'>Mister Doodle</span>. Places board against rock, R.C.</i>)</div> - </div> - </div> -</div> - -<div class='lg-container-l c010'> - <div class='linegroup'> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line'>It’s fortunate at school I learnt to spell.</div> - </div> - </div> -</div> - -<div class='lg-container-r c010'> - <div class='linegroup'> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line'>(<i>Exit <span class='sc'>Noodle</span>, L. U. E.</i>)</div> - </div> - </div> -</div> - -<div class='lg-container-r c010'> - <div class='linegroup'> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line'>(<i>Re-enter cautiously, <span class='sc'>King</span>, <span class='sc'>Rooster</span>, <span class='sc'>General</span> and <span class='sc'>Captain R.</span></i>)</div> - </div> - </div> -</div> - -<div class='lg-container-l c010'> - <div class='linegroup'> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line in2'>G. B.           The army’s disinfected!</div> - </div> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line in2'>G. K.                        What’s the reason?</div> - </div> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line in2'><span class='sc'>Rooster.</span>    Off without <i>leave</i>, he’s gone.</div> - </div> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line in2'><span class='sc'>G. Bounce.</span>                      No <i>leaf</i>! it’s <i>tree’s</i>-on!</div> - </div> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line in2'>G. K. Pray cease your jokes, we have no time for fun.</div> - <div class='line'>This is an unkind <i>cut</i>, much over done.</div> - <div class='line'>The army gone! Say, is there further ill?</div> - </div> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line in2'><span class='sc'>Rooster.</span> Allow me to present your tailors’ bill.</div> - </div> - </div> -</div> - -<div class='lg-container-r c010'> - <div class='linegroup'> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line'>(<i>Unfolds long roll of bill which runs out on the floor.</i>)</div> - </div> - </div> -</div> - -<div class='lg-container-l c010'> - <div class='linegroup'> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line in2'><span class='pageno' id='Page_21'>21</span>G. K. It must be done. A plan I’ll now unfold,</div> - <div class='line'>To fill our empty purse once more with gold.</div> - <div class='line'>Stay! Are we quite secure?</div> - </div> - </div> -</div> - -<div class='lg-container-r c010'> - <div class='linegroup'> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line'>(<i>Business; each going on tip-toe to R. and L. entrances, listening and returning with exaggerated melodramatic action. Music, soft chords. Stacato.</i>)</div> - </div> - </div> -</div> - -<div class='lg-container-l c010'> - <div class='linegroup'> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line in42'>One word! I love!</div> - </div> - </div> -</div> - -<div class='lg-container-r c010'> - <div class='linegroup'> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line'>(<i>Loud chord, all start.</i>)</div> - </div> - </div> -</div> - -<div class='lg-container-l c010'> - <div class='linegroup'> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line in2'><span class='sc'>Rooster.</span>        (<i>Enquiringly.</i>)        Thou love’st?</div> - </div> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line in2'><span class='sc'>G. Bounce.</span>          (<i>Suspiciously.</i>)           He loves.</div> - </div> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line in2'><span class='sc'>Captain Pounce.</span>     (<i>Confidentially.</i>)     We love!</div> - </div> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line in2'><span class='sc'>Rooster.</span>                (<i>Surprised.</i>)        Ye love!</div> - </div> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line in2'><span class='sc'>G. King.</span>                (<i>Disgusted.</i>)        They love!</div> - <div class='line'>My love’s <i>declined</i> with thanks. Alas, it’s true,</div> - <div class='line'>Kings are but mortals, and I love like you.</div> - </div> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line in2'><span class='sc'>All.</span>                     The maid?</div> - </div> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line in2'><span class='sc'>G. King.</span> A mermaid. Nay, you should’nt start,</div> - <div class='line'>A mermaid, like a cabbage, has a heart.</div> - <div class='line'>I offered her my hand; in it the key</div> - <div class='line'>That opened locks to all the treasury.</div> - <div class='line'>My mountain diamond mines! my gold! I rave!</div> - </div> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line in2'>G. B.     She took it?</div> - </div> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line in2'><span class='sc'>G. King.</span>                 Yes, and flung it in the wave.</div> - <div class='line'>Since then, you know, I’ve not been worth a pin;</div> - <div class='line'>The rocky doors are closed, I can’t get in.</div> - <div class='line'>Listen. Next time she comes to land, we’ll seize her.</div> - <div class='line'><span class='pageno' id='Page_22'>22</span>And till she fetches back that key, I’ll tease her.</div> - <div class='line'>Hullo! a step!</div> - </div> - </div> -</div> - -<div class='lg-container-r c010'> - <div class='linegroup'> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line'>(<i>All hide, R. & L. Enter <span class='sc'>Prince Doodle</span> off rock R.</i>)</div> - </div> - </div> -</div> - -<div class='lg-container-l c010'> - <div class='linegroup'> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line in2'><span class='sc'>Doodle.</span>                   Such fun! the mermaid nation,</div> - <div class='line'>Is not averse, I find, from small flirtation.</div> - <div class='line in32'>We’re getting on.</div> - </div> - </div> -</div> - -<div class='lg-container-r c010'> - <div class='linegroup'> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line'>(<i>Sees board.</i>)</div> - </div> - </div> -</div> - -<div class='lg-container-l c010'> - <div class='linegroup'> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line'>What’s this! What have we here?</div> - </div> - </div> -</div> - -<div class='lg-container-r c010'> - <div class='linegroup'> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line'>(<i>Reads notice aloud.</i>)</div> - </div> - </div> -</div> - -<div class='lg-container-l c010'> - <div class='linegroup'> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line'>Joy! joy! So then my long lost brother’s near.</div> - <div class='line'>He can’t be far, (<i>calls</i>) Hi! Noodle! Noodle! Noodle!</div> - </div> - </div> -</div> - -<div class='lg-container-r c010'> - <div class='linegroup'> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line'>(<i>Exit R. calling <span class='sc'>Noodle</span>. Enter <span class='sc'>Mona</span> at centre, she hesitates, looks round.</i>)</div> - </div> - </div> -</div> - -<div class='lg-container-l c010'> - <div class='linegroup'> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line in2'><span class='sc'>Mona.</span> I wonder what’s become of darling Doodle.</div> - </div> - </div> -</div> - -<div class='lg-container-r c010'> - <div class='linegroup'> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line'>(<i>Comes down. G. King, and the others follow in stealthily; the G. King has a veil.</i>)</div> - </div> - </div> -</div> - -<div class='lg-container-l c010'> - <div class='linegroup'> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line'>We’re playing hide and seek. It’s charming play.</div> - <div class='line'>We play for kisses, and he always makes me pay.</div> - <div class='line'>I wonder where he’s gone!</div> - </div> - </div> -</div> - -<div class='lg-container-r c010'> - <div class='linegroup'> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line'>(<i><span class='sc'>G. King</span> throws veil over her, she shrieks</i>.)</div> - </div> - </div> -</div> - -<div class='lg-container-l c010'> - <div class='linegroup'> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line in26'>We’ll hide you, miss;</div> - <div class='line'>Can’t you afford to give a King a kiss?</div> - </div> - </div> -</div> - -<div class='lg-container-r c010'> - <div class='linegroup'> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line'>(<i>She struggles.</i>)</div> - </div> - </div> -</div> - -<div class='lg-container-l c010'> - <div class='linegroup'> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line'>Unless you get my golden key so shiny,</div> - <div class='line'>You may as well say ta, ta, to the briny.</div> - </div> - </div> -</div> - -<div class='lg-container-r c010'> - <div class='linegroup'> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line'>(<i>Scene closes in with view of the Cottage of the Maid of the Mill.</i>)</div> - </div> - </div> -</div> - -<div> - <span class='pageno' id='Page_23'>23</span> - <h3 class='c006'>SCENE II.<br /> <span class='sc'>Coquettina’s Cottage.</span></h3> -</div> - -<p class='c015'><i><span class='sc'>Coquettina</span> discovered looking at herself in a glass on L. wall. -Arm chair with cover on, R. Cupboard, R. Door, L. -Barrel against wall, L. Table with cover, C., candle -burning on table.</i></p> - -<div class='lg-container-l c010'> - <div class='linegroup'> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line in2'><span class='sc'>Coq.</span> There, that will do, that’s quite enough my dear.</div> - <div class='line'>Oh, Coquettina, you’re a flirt, I fear.</div> - <div class='line'>You naughty, naughty girl to act this way.</div> - <div class='line'>Ah! you’ll be very sorry, Miss, some day.</div> - </div> - </div> -</div> - -<div class='c016'>(<i>Comes down.</i>)</div> - -<div class='lg-container-l c010'> - <div class='linegroup'> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line'>I’m sure it’s not my fault. What can one do?</div> - <div class='line'>I dote on officers, and I’ve now got two.</div> - <div class='line'>The Captain’s not amiss; a handsome face!</div> - <div class='line'>And such a uniform! Oh, I love gold lace.</div> - <div class='line'>His pay’s so small—it’s not a bit of use.</div> - <div class='line'>But then the General’s such a dear—old goose.</div> - <div class='line'>He’s rather short and fat, and slightly lazy,</div> - <div class='line'>His conversation’s small; style, lackadaisy.</div> - <div class='line'>Still, who for <i>general</i> conversation cares?</div> - <div class='line'>Ah, stay, I hear him puffing up the stairs.</div> - </div> - </div> -</div> - -<div class='lg-container-r c010'> - <div class='linegroup'> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line'><span class='pageno' id='Page_24'>24</span>(<i>Seats herself hurriedly in chair, L., at back, and pretends to be asleep. Rap heard at door, L., repeated twice. <span class='sc'>General Bounce</span> puts his head carefully into room</i>.)</div> - </div> - </div> -</div> - -<div class='lg-container-l c010'> - <div class='linegroup'> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line in2'>G. B. What, not at home!               (<i>Comes down.</i>)</div> - <div class='line in30'>These parlours in the sky</div> - <div class='line'>Are much like houses in Soho, <i>so high</i>.</div> - <div class='line'>I’m out of breath, and she’s out too, it’s clear,</div> - <div class='line'>I’ve had my climb for nothing.              (<i>Sees <span class='sc'>Coquettina</span>.</i>)</div> - <div class='line in2'>(<i>Approaching her</i>)            Ah, she’s here!</div> - <div class='line'>My dainty duck! my lamb, my tender chicken!</div> - <div class='line'>The cherries on those lips are worth the pickin’.</div> - <div class='line'>I must take one, though she may fume and flounce,</div> - <div class='line'>She’ll not object as Mrs. General Bounce.</div> - </div> - </div> -</div> - -<div class='lg-container-r c010'> - <div class='linegroup'> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line'>(<i>is about to kiss her, she starts up.</i>)</div> - </div> - </div> -</div> - -<div class='lg-container-l c010'> - <div class='linegroup'> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line in2'><span class='sc'>Coq.</span> Ah, General! It’s you?</div> - </div> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line in2'>G. B. (<i>confused</i>)               I’m looking for—</div> - </div> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line in2'><span class='sc'>Coq.</span>                                             your <i>gout</i>?</div> - <div class='line'>A <i>taste</i> of something good and nice,</div> - <div class='line in51'>Ah, <i>stout?</i></div> - <div class='line'>I see it’s <i>up</i>, (<i>Looking at him meaningly.</i>)</div> - <div class='line in24'>You’d better take it down,</div> - </div> - </div> -</div> - -<div class='lg-container-r c010'> - <div class='linegroup'> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line'>(<i>Points to door.</i>)</div> - </div> - </div> -</div> - -<div class='lg-container-l c010'> - <div class='linegroup'> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line in2'><span class='sc'>Gen. B.</span> Now what a tease you are! Come, do not frown.</div> - <div class='line'>Don’t, Coquettina, of my love make light.</div> - <div class='line'>You leant upon my arm quite hard last night.</div> - <div class='line'>Say you’ll be mine, come, Coquettina, do!</div> - <div class='line'>I am a single man.</div> - </div> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line in2'><span class='pageno' id='Page_25'>25</span><span class='sc'>Coq.</span>             You’re big enough for two.</div> - <div class='line'>I’ve only one objection.</div> - </div> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line in2'><span class='sc'>Gen. B.</span>                            What is that?</div> - <div class='line'>Pray <i>lean</i> on me for life.</div> - </div> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line in2'><span class='sc'>Coq.</span>                        <i>Lean!</i> why, you’re <i>fat</i>!</div> - </div> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line in2'><span class='sc'>Gen. B.</span> Call me not lean, but say I’m buxom, plump.</div> - <div class='line'>I am no scare-crow, made to run and jump.</div> - <div class='line'>To tell the <i>truth</i>, I like to take my ease,</div> - <div class='line'>I’m not a <i>skipper</i> with a load of (<i>f</i>) “<i>lees</i>.”</div> - <div class='line'>Oh, that this too, too solid flesh would melt</div> - <div class='line'>To less than sixty inches round the belt!</div> - </div> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line in2'><span class='sc'>Coq.</span> You can’t help that, <i>’tis you</i>.</div> - </div> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line in2'><span class='sc'>Gen. B.</span>                        Well then, suppose</div> - <div class='line'>My <i>tissue is</i> inclined to <i>adipose</i>.</div> - <div class='line'>You couldn’t <i>add a pose</i> with all that tissue.</div> - <div class='line'>’Twould be a <i>poser</i> if I were to kiss you.</div> - </div> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line in2'><span class='sc'>Coq.</span> Why what’s <i>possest</i> the man? I’d like to see you!</div> - </div> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line in2'><span class='sc'>Gen. B.</span> Well, so you shall. Here goes! (<i>He attempts</i></div> - <div class='line in4'><i>to chase her around stage, she easily eludes</i></div> - <div class='line in4'><i>him. Knock heard at door.</i>)</div> - </div> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line in2'><span class='sc'>Coq.</span>                            Oh, dear, oh, dear!</div> - <div class='line'>Mamma’s come back! Quick, General, get in here.</div> - </div> - </div> -</div> - -<div class='lg-container-r c010'> - <div class='linegroup'> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line'>(<i>pushes him into cupboard, R. Business, he not liking to go in. Rap again.</i>)</div> - </div> - </div> -</div> - -<div class='lg-container-l c010'> - <div class='linegroup'> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line'>Meet me beneath the haunted tree to-morrow.</div> - </div> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line in2'><span class='pageno' id='Page_26'>26</span><span class='sc'>Gen. B.</span> Adieu!</div> - </div> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line in2'><span class='sc'>Coq.</span>           Pray go!</div> - </div> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line in2'><span class='sc'>Gen. B.</span>           This parting’s such sweet sorrow.</div> - </div> - </div> -</div> - -<div class='lg-container-r c010'> - <div class='linegroup'> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line'>(<i>He goes into cupboard, crush of broken glass heard. He puts his head out again.</i>)</div> - </div> - </div> -</div> - -<div class='lg-container-l c010'> - <div class='linegroup'> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line'>I’ve sat upon your glasses!</div> - </div> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line in2'><span class='sc'>Coq.</span>                        Take it easy.</div> - <div class='line'>My ab<i>sence</i> won’t be long.</div> - </div> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line in2'><span class='sc'>Gen. B.</span> (<i>Sniffs about cupboard.</i>) Your <i>scents</i> are cheesy.</div> - </div> - </div> -</div> - -<div class='lg-container-r c010'> - <div class='linegroup'> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line'>(<i>Exit into cupboard. She runs to door and opens it. Enter <span class='sc'>Capt. Pounce</span>. She curtseys, and looks down demurely. He comes front, twirling his moustache.</i>)</div> - </div> - </div> -</div> - -<div class='lg-container-l c010'> - <div class='linegroup'> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line in2'><span class='sc'>Capt. P.</span> So this is where you live, child, is it, weally?</div> - <div class='line'>You’re up amongst the clouds here.</div> - </div> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line in2'><span class='sc'>Coq.</span>                               Yes, Sir, nearly.</div> - </div> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line in2'><span class='sc'>Capt. P.</span> (<i>Gallantly</i>) For such a chewub quite a pwoper place.</div> - <div class='line'>(<i>Aside.</i>) Upon my word, a vewy pwetty face!</div> - </div> - </div> -</div> - -<div class='lg-container-r c010'> - <div class='linegroup'> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line'>(<i>Looks out of window at R.</i>)</div> - </div> - </div> -</div> - -<div class='lg-container-l c010'> - <div class='linegroup'> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line'>And what a view! All twees and sheep in flocks,</div> - <div class='line'>And wolling waves awound those wugged wocks.</div> - </div> - </div> -</div> - -<div class='lg-container-r c010'> - <div class='linegroup'> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line'>(<i>She is standing by him as he speaks the last words. He puts arm round her waist.</i>)</div> - </div> - </div> -</div> - -<div class='lg-container-l c010'> - <div class='linegroup'> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line in2'><span class='sc'>Coq.</span> <i>That’s</i> not a “wugged wock.” Don’t let it trouble you,</div> - <div class='line'>But have you such a thing as a spare W?</div> - </div> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line in2'><span class='pageno' id='Page_27'>27</span><span class='sc'>Capt. T.</span> Oh, weally, pon my life, you’re vewy pwetty.</div> - </div> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line in2'><span class='sc'>Coq.</span> I thank you kindly, Sir.</div> - </div> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line in2'><span class='sc'>Capt. P.</span>                  And weally witty.</div> - <div class='line'>Yes. If I’d got some place to which to cawwy you,</div> - <div class='line'>Upon my word I’d weally like to mawwy you.</div> - </div> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line in2'><span class='sc'>Coq.</span> (<i>Aside</i>) The darling! He’s a man a girl can love.</div> - </div> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line in2'><span class='sc'>Capt. T.</span> (<i>Looking on ground.</i>) I fear I’ve lost it now.</div> - </div> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line in2'><span class='sc'>Coq.</span>                         Your heart?</div> - </div> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line in2'><span class='sc'>Capt. P.</span>                                 My glove.</div> - </div> - </div> -</div> - -<div class='lg-container-r c010'> - <div class='linegroup'> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line'>(<i>Loud sneezing from cupboard.</i>)</div> - </div> - </div> -</div> - -<div class='lg-container-l c010'> - <div class='linegroup'> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line'>What’s that?</div> - </div> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line in2'><span class='sc'>Coq.</span>         The ginger beer has burst a bottle.</div> - </div> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line in2'><span class='sc'>Capt. P.</span> It sounded vewy like a human thwottle!</div> - </div> - </div> -</div> - -<div class='lg-container-r c010'> - <div class='linegroup'> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line'>(<i>Rap heard at door.</i>)</div> - </div> - </div> -</div> - -<div class='lg-container-l c010'> - <div class='linegroup'> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line in2'><span class='sc'>Coq.</span> Ah, here’s mamma! quick, hide in this, now, see!</div> - </div> - </div> -</div> - -<div class='lg-container-r c010'> - <div class='linegroup'> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line'>(<i>Puts him into barrel. Business.</i>)</div> - </div> - </div> -</div> - -<div class='lg-container-l c010'> - <div class='linegroup'> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line'>To-morrow meet me by the haunted tree.</div> - </div> - </div> -</div> - -<div class='lg-container-r c010'> - <div class='linegroup'> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line'>(<i>Throws cloth over top of barrel.</i>)</div> - </div> - </div> -</div> - -<div class='lg-container-l c010'> - <div class='linegroup'> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line'>I’ll have such fun to-morrow for an hour.</div> - </div> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line in2'><span class='sc'>Capt. P.</span> (<i>Rising.</i>) Look here, I say, this bawwel’s full of flour!</div> - </div> - </div> -</div> - -<div class='lg-container-r c010'> - <div class='linegroup'> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line'>(<i>She runs to him, forces him back and puts coverlet on again. Rap again. She goes to door and opens it.</i>)</div> - </div> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line'><span class='pageno' id='Page_28'>28</span>(<i>Enter <span class='sc'>Rooster the Audacious</span>, a big bundle of papers tied with red tape, under his arm.</i>)</div> - </div> - </div> -</div> - -<div class='lg-container-l c010'> - <div class='linegroup'> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line in2'><span class='sc'>Roos.</span> Miss Coquettina, is your Ma’ within?</div> - </div> - </div> -</div> - -<div class='lg-container-r c010'> - <div class='linegroup'> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line'>(<i>Pulls out enormous watch from fob pocket.</i>)</div> - </div> - </div> -</div> - -<div class='lg-container-l c010'> - <div class='linegroup'> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line'>I’ve twenty minutes left to woo and win.</div> - </div> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line in2'><span class='sc'>Coq.</span> To woo and win! Upon my word that’s funny!</div> - </div> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line in2'><span class='sc'>Rooster.</span> Business is business, Miss, and time is money.</div> - <div class='line'>All night I sat up on affairs of State.</div> - <div class='line'>I had to shave the King at half-past eight.</div> - <div class='line'>At nine to black his boots and brush his hair.</div> - <div class='line'>By ten, as President, I took the chair</div> - <div class='line'>Of the Society for Reforming Cats—</div> - <div class='line'>R. S. R. C. At twelve I sat on “Hats.”</div> - </div> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line in2'><span class='sc'>Coq.</span> Hats!</div> - </div> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line in2'><span class='sc'>Roos.</span> Yes, and hatters, ’twas a much <i>felt</i> question.</div> - <div class='line'>At one I had some lunch, and—indigestion.</div> - <div class='line'>At two I had to meet a deputation—</div> - <div class='line'>“Was it, or was it not, good for the nation</div> - <div class='line'>That folks should be allowed beef with their mustard,”</div> - <div class='line'>It was a serious matter.</div> - </div> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line in2'><span class='sc'>Coq.</span>                             Were you flustered?</div> - </div> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line in2'><span class='sc'>Roos.</span> Oh, not at all, I said—If they could get it.</div> - <div class='line'>At two ’twas going on.</div> - </div> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line in2'><span class='sc'>Coq.</span>                           So’s time.</div> - </div> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line in2'><span class='sc'>Roos.</span>                                     Well, let it!</div> - <div class='line'>Till eight—three meetings; a foundation stone.</div> - <div class='line'><span class='pageno' id='Page_29'>29</span>Then dressed the King for dinner; had my own.</div> - <div class='line'>Came here to pop the question—Will you wed?</div> - <div class='line'>I must get back to put the King to bed.</div> - <div class='line'>Say yes or no.</div> - </div> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line in2'><span class='sc'>Coq.</span>                     You’d better ask mamma.</div> - </div> - </div> -</div> - -<div class='lg-container-r c010'> - <div class='linegroup'> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line'>(<i>Rap at door.</i>)</div> - </div> - </div> -</div> - -<div class='lg-container-l c010'> - <div class='linegroup'> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line'>Not now! Some other time!</div> - </div> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line in2'><span class='sc'>Roos.</span>                         Yes! Now!</div> - </div> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line in2'><span class='sc'>Coq.</span>                                    No!</div> - </div> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line in2'><span class='sc'>Roos.</span>                                       Bah!</div> - </div> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line in2'><span class='sc'>Coq.</span> She may be angry. Get beneath the table.</div> - <div class='line'>Please. To oblige me. (<i>loud rap.</i>)</div> - </div> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line in2'><span class='sc'>Roos.</span>                             Well, if I am able.</div> - <div class='line'>(<i>Gets under table.</i>) I must confess I feel how ill you treat me.</div> - </div> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line in2'><span class='sc'>Coq.</span> To-morrow, by the haunted tree you’ll meet me.</div> - </div> - </div> -</div> - -<div class='lg-container-r c010'> - <div class='linegroup'> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line'>(<i>Goes to door and open it. Enter <span class='sc'>G. King</span>. She curtseys. He chucks her under chin.</i>)</div> - </div> - </div> -</div> - -<div class='lg-container-l c010'> - <div class='linegroup'> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line in2'><span class='sc'>Gnome King.</span> Well, lass, your pretty face I’ve long been missing.</div> - <div class='line'>You’ve got a kiss I hope—</div> - </div> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line in2'><span class='sc'>Coq.</span> (<i>Coquettishly.</i>)         It’s always kissing.</div> - <div class='line'>Just like a man! He always <i>misses</i> kisses.</div> - </div> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line in2'><span class='sc'>G. King.</span> It’s very hard a man can’t kiss his <i>misses</i>.</div> - <div class='line'>I’ll have your little head chopped off, Miss! Pray</div> - <div class='line'>Don’t make me angry! One! two! three! Away!</div> - </div> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line in2'><span class='pageno' id='Page_30'>30</span><span class='sc'>Coq.</span> Well, if you must, you must then; Take it, There!</div> - </div> - </div> -</div> - -<div class='lg-container-r c010'> - <div class='linegroup'> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line'>(<i>She turns back of head to him as he is about to kiss her.</i>)</div> - </div> - </div> -</div> - -<div class='lg-container-l c010'> - <div class='linegroup'> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line'>What did it taste of <i>eh</i> Sir?</div> - </div> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line in2'><span class='sc'>G. King.</span>                           <i>Hay?</i> No! <i>Hare!</i></div> - </div> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line in2'><span class='sc'>Coq.</span> Of course! It’s all my own.</div> - </div> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line in2'><span class='sc'>G. King.</span>                     Oh, <i>game</i> you’re making!</div> - </div> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line in2'><span class='sc'>Coq.</span> Oh, not at all, Sir, <i>I</i> don’t go <i>hay raking</i>.</div> - </div> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line in2'><span class='sc'>G. King.</span> A kiss I’ll have!</div> - </div> - </div> -</div> - -<div class='lg-container-r c010'> - <div class='linegroup'> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line'>(<i>Runs after her, catches her, and is going to kiss her, when loud rap is heard at door.</i>)</div> - </div> - </div> -</div> - -<div class='lg-container-l c010'> - <div class='linegroup'> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line in2'><span class='sc'>Coq.</span>                Mamma!</div> - </div> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line in2'><span class='sc'>G. King.</span>                   I’d like to choke her.</div> - </div> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line in2'><span class='sc'>Coq.</span> Dear me! She’s awful with the kitchen poker!</div> - <div class='line'>You’d better hide, Sir.</div> - </div> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line in2'><span class='sc'>G. King.</span>                Where? (<i>Runs to cupboard.</i>)</div> - </div> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line in2'><span class='sc'>Coq.</span>                         No, no! (<i>he runs towards barrel.</i>)</div> - <div class='line in20'>Not there! (<i>He runs to table.</i>)</div> - <div class='line'>I have it! Here! pretend to be a chair.</div> - </div> - </div> -</div> - -<div class='lg-container-r c010'> - <div class='linegroup'> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line'>(<i>She takes cover off chair and puts it over him with arms extended so that he looks like a chair.</i>)</div> - </div> - </div> -</div> - -<div class='lg-container-l c010'> - <div class='linegroup'> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line'>There! Now you’re safe, you need’nt now be daunted.</div> - <div class='line'>Meet me to-morrow by the tree that’s haunted.</div> - </div> - </div> -</div> - -<div class='lg-container-r c010'> - <div class='linegroup'> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line'>(<i>Goes to door, opens it and looks out.</i>)</div> - </div> - </div> -</div> - -<div class='lg-container-l c010'> - <div class='linegroup'> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line'>What! no one here? how strange! who can it be?</div> - <div class='line'><span class='pageno' id='Page_31'>31</span>Perhaps I’d better go outside and see.</div> - </div> - </div> -</div> - -<div class='lg-container-r c010'> - <div class='linegroup'> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line'>(<i>Goes outside. The “<span class='sc'>Fairy of the Forest</span>” steps in and closes door.</i>)</div> - </div> - </div> -</div> - -<div class='lg-container-l c010'> - <div class='linegroup'> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line in2'><span class='sc'>Fairy.</span> Ah, Coquettina! oh, you naughty child!</div> - <div class='line'>In spite of all I’ve said, you <i>will</i> be wild.</div> - <div class='line'>All right, Miss, I have such a rod in pickle!</div> - <div class='line'>But first these gentlemen in here I’ll tickle.</div> - </div> - </div> -</div> - -<div class='lg-container-r c010'> - <div class='linegroup'> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line'>(<i>Blows out candle. Stage darkens. She goes to cupboard and raps gently, then to barrel, then to table, then to chair, and steps to back of stage. All four come out and grope in the dark, avoiding each other. They speak in whispers.</i>)</div> - </div> - </div> -</div> - -<div class='lg-container-l c010'> - <div class='linegroup'> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line in2'><span class='sc'>Gen. B.</span> Here, Coquettina!</div> - </div> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line in2'><span class='sc'>Capt. T.</span>                  Deawest!</div> - </div> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line in2'><span class='sc'>Rooster.</span>                           Where are you?</div> - </div> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line in2'><span class='sc'>King.</span> Come to my arms, my Coquettina, do!</div> - </div> - </div> -</div> - -<div class='lg-container-r c010'> - <div class='linegroup'> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line'>(<i>They all get into a circle in front of stage, each holding a hand of the other. The fairy laughs, claps her hands, and fairies enter with lanterns hung at the end of their wands. Stage lights up. Quick curtain.</i>)</div> - </div> - </div> -</div> - -<div class='figcenter id006'> -<img src='images/i_031.jpg' alt='' class='ig001' /> -</div> - -<div> - <span class='pageno' id='Page_32'>32</span> - <h3 class='c006'>SCENE III.<br /> THE FOREST DELL.</h3> -</div> - -<p class='c015'><i>Haunted tree C. at back. A large rock at R. of tree, upon which <span class='sc'>Noodle</span> is seated.</i></p> - -<div class='lg-container-l c010'> - <div class='linegroup'> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line in2'><span class='sc'>Noodle</span>, (<i>Sneezing.</i>)</div> - </div> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line'>I’ve got a frightful cold. My Ms and Bs</div> - <div class='line'>Are all mixed up, likewise my Ls and Ds.</div> - <div class='line'>That Gnome King there, Oh, isn’t he a beauty!</div> - <div class='line'>Because, he said, I ran away from duty.</div> - <div class='line'>Fixed me by some enchantment to this stone,</div> - <div class='line'>And here he’s left me ever since, alone.</div> - </div> - </div> -</div> - -<div class='lg-container-r c010'> - <div class='linegroup'> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line'>(<i>Takes bottle from pocket.</i>)</div> - </div> - </div> -</div> - -<div class='lg-container-l c010'> - <div class='linegroup'> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line'>Strolling the other day upon the sand, I</div> - <div class='line'>Found this. B. R. A. N. D. Y. spells brandy.</div> - <div class='line'>It isn’t bad, though how did it come here?</div> - <div class='line'>There’s been a shipwreck, that is very clear.</div> - <div class='line'>The country’s full of geese, too, it’s absurd!</div> - <div class='line'>Which ever way I turned I found a bird,</div> - <div class='line'>All dressed in sailor’s jackets, caps and things,</div> - <div class='line'>With spy glasses stuck underneath their wings.</div> - </div> - </div> -</div> - -<div class='lg-container-r c010'> - <div class='linegroup'> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line'><span class='pageno' id='Page_33'>33</span>(<i>Enter <span class='sc'>Mona L.</span> running.</i>)</div> - </div> - </div> -</div> - -<div class='lg-container-l c010'> - <div class='linegroup'> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line in2'><span class='sc'>Mona.</span> There, I’ve escaped them! Now to find the shore,</div> - <div class='line'>I don’t think they will catch me any more.</div> - </div> - </div> -</div> - -<div class='lg-container-r c010'> - <div class='linegroup'> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line'>(<i>Moves toward tree.</i>)</div> - </div> - </div> -</div> - -<div class='lg-container-l c010'> - <div class='linegroup'> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line'>It must be this way, I can scent the sea.</div> - <div class='line'>Ah! Who are you, sir, under that old tree.</div> - </div> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line in2'><span class='sc'>Noo.</span> Don’t be afraid, fair maid, I cannot harm you;</div> - <div class='line'>Glued to this stone these <i>tones</i> need not alarm you.</div> - <div class='line'>I can’t get up (<i>tries to rise</i>.)</div> - </div> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line in2'><span class='sc'>Mona.</span>                 Why not?</div> - </div> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line in2'><span class='sc'>Noo.</span>                     The Gnome has tied me.</div> - </div> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line in2'><span class='sc'>Mona.</span> You have a story. Tell me.</div> - </div> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line in2'><span class='sc'>Noo.</span>                           Sit beside me.</div> - </div> - </div> -</div> - -<div class='lg-container-r c010'> - <div class='linegroup'> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line'>(<i><span class='sc'>Mona</span> sits on rock other side of tree.</i>)</div> - </div> - </div> -</div> - -<div class='lg-container-l c010'> - <div class='linegroup'> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line'>Long years ago I was a boy.</div> - </div> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line in2'><span class='sc'>Mona.</span>                          How strange!</div> - </div> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line in2'><span class='sc'>Noo.</span> A little tiny boy, so high.</div> - </div> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line in2'><span class='sc'>Mona.</span>                            A change!</div> - </div> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line in2'><span class='sc'>Noo.</span> I had an uncle, and I <i>was</i> a prince.</div> - <div class='line'>My father died. <i>He</i> seized the throne.</div> - <div class='line in30'>(<i><span class='sc'>Mona</span> starts</i>,) You wince.</div> - </div> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line in2'><span class='sc'>Mona.</span> Oh not at all. Go on! I’ve heard a tale.</div> - <div class='line'>Like yours before. It’s very like a whale.</div> - </div> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line in2'><span class='sc'>Noo.</span> My tail! there’s more behind. He then seized <i>me</i></div> - <div class='line'><span class='pageno' id='Page_34'>34</span>And shipped me off, a little boy, to sea.</div> - <div class='line'>For many years I’ve wandered as a sailor,</div> - <div class='line'>And earned my salt as cook on board a whaler.</div> - <div class='line'>Shipwrecked upon this most unkindly shore,</div> - <div class='line'>I’ve lived a wretched life ten years or more.</div> - <div class='line'>The manikins who live down there below,</div> - <div class='line'>Took me, and made me giant in a show:</div> - <div class='line'>“Walk up! walk up! just going to begin.”</div> - </div> - </div> -</div> - -<div class='lg-container-r c010'> - <div class='linegroup'> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line'>(<i>imitates Showman.</i>)</div> - </div> - </div> -</div> - -<div class='lg-container-l c010'> - <div class='linegroup'> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line'>That’s what they used to say to bring folks in—</div> - <div class='line'>“This giant is all real, no sawdust here!”</div> - </div> - </div> -</div> - -<div class='lg-container-l c010'> - <div class='linegroup'> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line in2'><span class='sc'>Mona.</span> Made you a giant, did they. That was queer.</div> - </div> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line in2'><span class='sc'>Noo.</span> “There’s no deception, gents! no pads or straw!”</div> - <div class='line'>And then they’d pinch my legs to make me roar.</div> - <div class='line'>Stick pins into my calves.</div> - </div> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line in2'><span class='sc'>Mona.</span>                            Oh, that was cruel.</div> - </div> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line in2'><span class='sc'>Noo.</span> And if I would’t act they’d stop my gruel.</div> - <div class='line'>Well, now I’ve joined the army, serve the nation.</div> - <div class='line'>That means long drills, stiff collars and starvation.</div> - <div class='line'>I’ll make a raft or boat, and get away,</div> - <div class='line'>So sure as my name’s Noodle, miss, some day.</div> - </div> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line in2'><span class='sc'>Mona.</span> What name?</div> - </div> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line in2'><span class='sc'>Noo.</span>             Why, Noodle.</div> - </div> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line in2'><span class='sc'>Mona.</span>                         Noodle?</div> - </div> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line in2'><span class='sc'>Noo.</span>                            Why not Noodle?</div> - </div> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line in2'><span class='sc'>Mona.</span> You have a brother?</div> - </div> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line in2'><span class='pageno' id='Page_35'>35</span><span class='sc'>Noo.</span>                      Which his name is Doodle.</div> - </div> - </div> -</div> - -<div class='lg-container-r c010'> - <div class='linegroup'> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line'>(<i>Tries to rise.</i>)</div> - </div> - </div> -</div> - -<div class='lg-container-l c010'> - <div class='linegroup'> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line'>Say, have you seen him? Is my brother here?</div> - </div> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line in2'><span class='sc'>Mona.</span> He is.</div> - </div> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line in2'><span class='sc'>Noo.</span>         And I can’t leave my stony ‘<i>cheer</i>.’</div> - </div> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line in2'><span class='sc'>Mona.</span> I’ll go and seek him. (<i>Exit R.</i>)</div> - </div> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line in2'><span class='sc'>Noo.</span>                        Stay! She’s gone. What joy!</div> - <div class='line'>I havn’t seen my brother since a boy.</div> - </div> - </div> -</div> - -<div class='lg-container-r c010'> - <div class='linegroup'> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line'>(<i>Enter <span class='sc'>Doodle</span> hurriedly, L.</i>)</div> - </div> - </div> -</div> - -<div class='lg-container-l c010'> - <div class='linegroup'> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line in2'><span class='sc'>Doodle.</span> I’ve lost my mermaid! (<i>Sees <span class='sc'>Noodle</span>.</i>) Ha! Pray who are you?</div> - </div> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line in2'><span class='sc'>Noo.</span> (<i>Aside.</i>) Is this my brother? Is your name, Sir, Doo—?</div> - </div> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line in2'><span class='sc'>Doo.</span> It’s Noodle! (<i>Is going to rush towards him, but stops short suddenly.</i>)</div> - <div class='line in14'>Come though, this won’t do I say,</div> - <div class='line'>We mustn’t take things in this easy way.</div> - <div class='line'>Although perchance we may have had the same aunt.</div> - <div class='line'>There may perhaps, Sir, be another “Claimant.”</div> - <div class='line'>I’d like to ask a question.</div> - </div> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line in2'><span class='sc'>Noo.</span>                        Ask a dozen.</div> - </div> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line in2'><span class='sc'>Doo.</span> Pray, had your nurse, Sir, in the Guards a “cousin?”</div> - </div> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line in2'><span class='sc'>Noo.</span> ’Tis strange, but true.</div> - </div> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line in2'><span class='pageno' id='Page_36'>36</span><span class='sc'>Doo.</span> ’Tis well! When you were able</div> - <div class='line'>You kicked you poor old pa beneath the table?</div> - </div> - </div> -</div> - -<div class='lg-container-r c010'> - <div class='linegroup'> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line'>(<i><span class='sc'>Noodle</span> nods.</i>)</div> - </div> - </div> -</div> - -<div class='lg-container-l c010'> - <div class='linegroup'> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line'>Say, did you once, upon your nurse’s lap,</div> - <div class='line'>By chance capsize a teaspoonful of pap?</div> - </div> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line in2'><span class='sc'>Noo.</span> I did! I did! The circumstance pecoolia,</div> - <div class='line'>I now recall it. Which her name was Julia.</div> - </div> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line in2'><span class='sc'>Doo.</span> Did you like sugar on your bread and butter?</div> - </div> - </div> -</div> - -<div class='lg-container-r c010'> - <div class='linegroup'> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line'>(<i><span class='sc'>Noodle</span> nods.</i>)</div> - </div> - </div> -</div> - -<div class='lg-container-l c010'> - <div class='linegroup'> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line'>Used you to play at marbles in the gutter?</div> - </div> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line in2'><span class='sc'>Noo.</span> I must confess it.</div> - </div> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line in2'><span class='sc'>Doo.</span>                    Now I think upon it.</div> - <div class='line'>Had you a bouncing B. once in your Bonnet.</div> - </div> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line in2'><span class='sc'>Noo.</span> I had! I have! In fact, as I’m alive,</div> - <div class='line'>Not one bee only but a perfect hive.</div> - </div> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line in2'><span class='sc'>Doo.</span> Have you on your left arm a strawberry mark?</div> - </div> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line in2'><span class='sc'>Noo.</span> A perfect bed! You’d see them in the dark.</div> - <div class='line'>’Tis he! ’tis he! My feelings I can’t smother;</div> - <div class='line'>Come to my arms my lengthy long lost brother!</div> - </div> - </div> -</div> - -<div class='lg-container-r c010'> - <div class='linegroup'> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line'>(<i><span class='sc'>Noodle</span> tries to rise but cannot.</i>)</div> - </div> - </div> -</div> - -<div class='lg-container-l c010'> - <div class='linegroup'> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line'>Why don’t you rise?</div> - </div> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line in2'><span class='sc'>Noo.</span> I can’t, the Gnome King’s bound me.</div> - <div class='line'>I should have died down here if you’d not found me.</div> - </div> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line in2'><span class='sc'>Doo.</span> What’s to be done? (<i>Trunk of tree opens, and discovers the <span class='sc'>Fairy of the Forest</span>.</i>)</div> - </div> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line in2'><span class='pageno' id='Page_37'>37</span><span class='sc'>Fairy.</span>    Sprinkle him thrice, sprinkle him thrice,</div> - <div class='line in12'>With the water that trickles</div> - <div class='line in12'>And trickles and trickles</div> - <div class='line in12'>Down from the mountain</div> - <div class='line in12'>Here to the fountain.</div> - <div class='line in12'>Sprinkle and say,</div> - <div class='line in12'>One, two, three and away,</div> - <div class='line in12'>One, two, three and away.</div> - </div> - </div> -</div> - -<div class='lg-container-r c010'> - <div class='linegroup'> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line'>(<i>Trunk of tree closes again.</i>)</div> - </div> - </div> -</div> - -<div class='lg-container-l c010'> - <div class='linegroup'> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line in2'><span class='sc'>Doo.</span>                 Ah, here’s the fountain, look!</div> - </div> - </div> -</div> - -<div class='lg-container-r c010'> - <div class='linegroup'> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line'>(<i>Runs off, R., and returns with water in the palm of his hand. Throws it over <span class='sc'>Noodle</span>.</i>)</div> - </div> - </div> -</div> - -<div class='lg-container-l c010'> - <div class='linegroup'> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line'>One, two, three and away! (<i><span class='sc'>Noodle</span> springs up. He limps. The brothers embrace.</i>)</div> - </div> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line in2'><span class='sc'>Noo.</span>                   I’m stiff as that old tree.</div> - </div> - </div> -</div> - -<div class='lg-container-r c010'> - <div class='linegroup'> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line'><i>Enter <span class='sc'>Mona</span> R., carrying large gold key</i>.</div> - </div> - </div> -</div> - -<div class='lg-container-l c010'> - <div class='linegroup'> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line in2'><span class='sc'>Mona.</span> You’ve found him, see! Look here! I’ve brought this key,</div> - <div class='line'>Key to the diamond mountain. Come! be quick:</div> - <div class='line'>We’ll play that dear old dwarf there such a trick.</div> - </div> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line in2'><span class='sc'>Doo.</span> We’ll build a raft; with diamonds fill each sack;</div> - <div class='line'>Set sail before he knows—</div> - </div> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line in2'><span class='sc'>Noo.</span>                       And not come back.</div> - <div class='line'>But where’s your crew?</div> - </div> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line in2'><span class='sc'>Doo.</span>                   My crew? Oh there’s the rub,</div> - <div class='line'>I hav’nt got a crew to sail a tub.</div> - <div class='line'>A set of geese! (<i>Trunk of tree opens and shows <span class='sc'>Fairy of the Forest</span>.</i>)</div> - </div> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line in2'><span class='pageno' id='Page_38'>38</span><span class='sc'>Fairy.</span>    Sprinkle thrice, sprinkle thrice.</div> - <div class='line in12'>And your geese, in half a trice</div> - <div class='line in12'>Will disappear, and on the land,</div> - <div class='line in12'>Four and forty sailors stand.</div> - </div> - </div> -</div> - -<div class='lg-container-r c010'> - <div class='linegroup'> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line'>(<i>Trunk of tree closes.</i>)</div> - </div> - </div> -</div> - -<p class='c017'> <span class='sc'>Doo.</span> A friend in need’s a friend indeed they say. -Madam, we thank you. Come, friends, let’s away.</p> - -<p class='c017'> <span class='sc'>Noo.</span> Let’s to the mountain; there our sacks we’ll fill. -And get good fortune from a monstrous <i>ill</i>.</p> - -<div class='lg-container-r c010'> - <div class='linegroup'> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line'>(<i>Exeunt, R., Trunk of tree opens. <span class='sc'>Fairy of the Forest</span> descends, and comes forward.</i>)</div> - </div> - </div> -</div> - -<div class='lg-container-l c010'> - <div class='linegroup'> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line in2'><span class='sc'>Fairy.</span> So far so good. Those captives stirred my pity,</div> - <div class='line'>And Maiden Mona is so good and pretty.</div> - <div class='line'>I hate that Gnome; he is so tough and tarty. (<i>looks off.</i>)</div> - <div class='line'>Here’s naughty Coquettina and her party.</div> - <div class='line'>I’ll sprinkle magic water on them all,</div> - <div class='line'>And where they stand they’ll stay until I call.</div> - </div> - </div> -</div> - -<div class='lg-container-r c010'> - <div class='linegroup'> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line'>(<i>She returns into tree, which closes. Enter L. <span class='sc'>Coquettina</span> hurriedly. She looks back as she enters.</i>)</div> - </div> - </div> -</div> - -<div class='lg-container-l c010'> - <div class='linegroup'> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line in2'><span class='sc'>Coq.</span> What fun! they’re coming all together here.</div> - <div class='line'>I’ll hide behind this tree. (<i>Trunk opens, <span class='sc'>Fairy</span> appears and sprinkles her. She stops instantly.</i>)</div> - </div> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line in2'><span class='sc'>Fairy.</span>                    You’ll not, my dear.</div> - </div> - </div> -</div> - -<div class='lg-container-r c010'> - <div class='linegroup'> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line'>(<i>Trunk closes. Enter R. and L. <span class='sc'>King</span>, <span class='sc'>Rooster</span>, <span class='sc'>General Bounce</span> and <span class='sc'>Capt. Pounce.</span> Different entrances. Music soft and staccato. As they advance to centre, they see each other.</i>)</div> - </div> - </div> -</div> - -<div class='lg-container-l c010'> - <div class='linegroup'> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line in2'><span class='pageno' id='Page_39'>39</span><span class='sc'>All.</span> Hallo!</div> - </div> - </div> -</div> - -<div class='lg-container-r c010'> - <div class='linegroup'> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line'>(<i>Fairy appears; sprinkles them. They stop short and each retains the position of the moment, Lime light. Scene closes in with cavern, same as scene 1st, only opening at back closed in. Several sailors cross the stage from L. to R., carrying sacks on their backs. <span class='sc'>Noodle</span> and <span class='sc'>Doodle</span> bring up the rear, each carrying a sack. They come front.</i>)</div> - </div> - </div> -</div> - -<div class='lg-container-l c010'> - <div class='linegroup'> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line in2'><span class='sc'>Doo.</span> There! That’s the last, the raft won’t carry more.</div> - <div class='line'>And now set sail, and quit this unkind shore.</div> - <div class='line'>Where’s Mona?                       (<i>Enter <span class='sc'>Mona</span>, R.</i>)</div> - </div> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line in2'><span class='sc'>Mona.</span>         Here. Please, dear, before we go,</div> - <div class='line'>I wish to say good-bye to friends below.</div> - </div> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line in2'><span class='sc'>Doo.</span> I’m not a fish!</div> - </div> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line in2'><span class='sc'>Mona.</span>                It’s done quite easily,</div> - <div class='line'>We’ll sink this cavern down below the sea.</div> - </div> - </div> -</div> - -<div class='lg-container-r c010'> - <div class='linegroup'> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line'>(<i>Enter L. <span class='sc'>King</span>, <span class='sc'>Rooster</span>, <span class='sc'>General Bounce</span>, <span class='sc'>Capt. Pounce</span>, <span class='sc'>Coquettina</span>.</i>)</div> - </div> - </div> -</div> - -<div class='lg-container-l c010'> - <div class='linegroup'> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line in2'><span class='sc'>G. King.</span> Mind your own business, Miss, leave mine alone.</div> - <div class='line'>I have a charm will turn you all to stone.</div> - </div> - </div> -</div> - -<div class='lg-container-r c010'> - <div class='linegroup'> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line'>(<i>Makes passes in the air. Enter L. <span class='sc'>Fairy</span>.</i>)</div> - </div> - </div> -</div> - -<div class='lg-container-l c010'> - <div class='linegroup'> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line in2'><span class='sc'>Fairy.</span> If you’re not good you’ll get another sprinkle.</div> - </div> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line in2'><span class='sc'>G. King.</span> I’d rather be a lobster or a winkle.</div> - </div> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line in2'><span class='sc'>Mona.</span> Then here’s your key. Remember, don’t be cruel.</div> - </div> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line in2'><span class='pageno' id='Page_40'>40</span><span class='sc'>Noo.</span> And feed your army. Give your giants gruel.</div> - </div> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line in2'><span class='sc'>Mona.</span> We’re going down. D’ye feel the motion?</div> - </div> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line in2'><span class='sc'>Doo.</span>                                      Well!</div> - <div class='line'>It’s easy as a lift in some hotel.</div> - </div> - </div> -</div> - -<div class='lg-container-r c010'> - <div class='linegroup'> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line'>(<i>All give a slight jump as though the bottom had been reached.</i>)</div> - </div> - </div> -</div> - -<div class='lg-container-l c010'> - <div class='linegroup'> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line in2'><span class='sc'>Mona.</span> We’re there at last. Now let the water in.</div> - <div class='line'>Don’t be afraid, you will not wet your skin.</div> - </div> - </div> -</div> - -<div class='lg-container-r c010'> - <div class='linegroup'> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line'>(<i>Scene at back and sides gradually opens to soft music, and shows the</i>)</div> - </div> - </div> -</div> - -<div class='nf-center-c0'> -<div class='nf-center c010'> - <div><span class='sc'>Mermaid’s Haunt.</span></div> - </div> -</div> - -<div class='lg-container-r c010'> - <div class='linegroup'> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line'>(<i><span class='sc'>Coralina</span> descends in a coral car at back. Mermaids R. and L.</i>)</div> - </div> - </div> -</div> - -<div class='lg-container-l c010'> - <div class='linegroup'> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line in2'><span class='sc'>Coquettina.</span> This is my home. Good-bye, dear friends, to-night,</div> - <div class='line'>And don’t forget your little Mermaid quite.</div> - </div> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line in2'><span class='sc'>Fairy of the Forest.</span> The bottom of the sea! It’s like a dream.</div> - </div> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line in2'><span class='sc'>Coq.</span> You’ve no society down here.</div> - </div> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line in2'><span class='sc'>Mona.</span>                             The very cream.</div> - </div> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line in2'><span class='sc'>Coq.</span> Perhaps it’s iced. I’m sure its very chilly.</div> - </div> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line in2'><span class='sc'>Gen. Bounce.</span> It’s all <i>cold cream</i>, of course, you little silly!</div> - </div> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line in2'><span class='sc'>Mona.</span> I hope you’re all content.</div> - </div> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line in2'><span class='pageno' id='Page_41'>41</span><span class='sc'>Noodle.</span>                      Well, I don’t know.</div> - <div class='line'>Poor Coquettina here—</div> - </div> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line in2'><span class='sc'>Doodle.</span>                  Pray, where’s her beau?</div> - </div> - </div> -</div> - -<div class='lg-container-r c010'> - <div class='linegroup'> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line'>(<i>Coquettina, turns to <span class='sc'>Captain Pounce</span>.</i>)</div> - </div> - </div> -</div> - -<div class='lg-container-l c010'> - <div class='linegroup'> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line in2'><span class='sc'>Captain P.</span> Ah! Weally sowwy! Can’t be done I fear,</div> - <div class='line'>When my superior officer is here.</div> - </div> - </div> -</div> - -<div class='lg-container-r c010'> - <div class='linegroup'> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line'>(<i>She turns to <span class='sc'>General Bounce</span>.</i>)</div> - </div> - </div> -</div> - -<div class='lg-container-l c010'> - <div class='linegroup'> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line in2'><span class='sc'>Gen. B.</span> Well! Hem! The situation’s most unpleasant,</div> - <div class='line'>But as for matrimony!—not at present.</div> - <div class='line'>Our friend here will oblige. Come, Rooster, say!</div> - </div> - </div> -</div> - -<div class='lg-container-r c010'> - <div class='linegroup'> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line'>(<i>She turns to <span class='sc'>Rooster</span>.</i>)</div> - </div> - </div> -</div> - -<div class='lg-container-l c010'> - <div class='linegroup'> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line in2'><span class='sc'>Rooster.</span> Too busy, now. Pray call another day.</div> - </div> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line in2'><span class='sc'>Coq.</span> Oh! very well! I’m sure that I don’t care.</div> - <div class='line'>I’ll join the “Ladies Club.” They’ve no men there!</div> - </div> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line in2'><span class='sc'>G. King.</span> A gnome’s <i>un homme</i> for all that. Here’s my <i>key</i>.</div> - <div class='line'><i>C. flat’s</i> found often down below the <i>C</i>.</div> - <div class='line'>One thing I know, if once I get above,</div> - <div class='line'>No man shall say the Gnome is crossed in love.</div> - </div> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line in2'><span class='sc'>Gen. B.</span> A soldier’s duty lies in drill and glory,</div> - <div class='line'>But as for love, well, that’s another story.</div> - </div> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line in2'><span class='sc'>Capt. P.</span> Well, weally! Take things easy is my motto:</div> - <div class='line'>But fancy catching shwimps here in a gwotto!</div> - </div> - </div> -</div> - -<div class='lg-container-r c010'> - <div class='linegroup'> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line'>(<i>Pretends to catch Shrimp swimming past.</i>)</div> - </div> - </div> -</div> - -<div class='lg-container-l c010'> - <div class='linegroup'> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line in2'><span class='pageno' id='Page_42'>42</span><span class='sc'>Doodle.</span> (<i>Putting his am round Mona’s waist.</i>)</div> - <div class='line'>Though strange, a mermaid’s heart I hold in hand!</div> - <div class='line'>My geese are changed to sailors; there they stand.</div> - <div class='line'>We’ve found the diamond mine—</div> - </div> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line in2'><span class='sc'>Noo.</span>                           And filled each sack.</div> - </div> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line in2'><span class='sc'>Doo.</span> And as for uncle (<i>Turning up Coat cuffs.</i>)</div> - </div> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line in2'><span class='sc'>Noo.</span>                  Wait till we get back!</div> - </div> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line in2'><span class='sc'>Mona.</span> Since all things wrong are now at last made right,</div> - <div class='line'>We only have a wish you all good-night.</div> - </div> - </div> -</div> - -<div class='lg-container-r c010'> - <div class='linegroup'> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line'>(<i>Red and green lights.</i>)</div> - </div> - </div> -</div> - -<div class='nf-center-c0'> -<div class='nf-center c010'> - <div><span class='sc'>Coralina.</span></div> - <div><span class='sc'>Fairy of the Forest.</span></div> - <div><span class='sc'>General Bounce.</span>      <span class='sc'>Captain Pounce.</span></div> - <div><span class='sc'>Gnome King.</span>                     <span class='sc'>Rooster.</span></div> - <div><span class='sc'>Mona.</span>                            <span class='sc'>Coquettina.</span></div> - <div><span class='sc'>Doodle.</span>                                  <span class='sc'>Noodle.</span></div> - <div class='c002'><i>Curtain.</i></div> - </div> -</div> - -<div class='pbb'> - <hr class='pb c003' /> -</div> -<div class='tnotes'> - -<div class='section ph2'> - -<div class='nf-center-c0'> -<div class='nf-center c004'> - <div>TRANSCRIBER’S NOTES</div> - </div> -</div> - -</div> - - <ol class='ol_1 c002'> - <li>Silently corrected typographical errors and variations in spelling. - - </li> - <li>Archaic, non-standard, and uncertain spellings retained as printed. - </li> - </ol> - -</div> - - - - - - - - -<pre> - - - - - -End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Maiden Mona the Mermaid, by -Frederick Augustus Dixon - -*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK MAIDEN MONA THE MERMAID *** - -***** This file should be named 62183-h.htm or 62183-h.zip ***** -This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: - http://www.gutenberg.org/6/2/1/8/62183/ - -Produced by Richard Tonsing, Mary Glenn Krause, University -of Toronto's Thomas Fisher Rare Book Library and the Online -Distributed Proofreading Team at https://www.pgdp.net (This -file was produced from images generously made available -by The Internet Archive/American Libraries.) - - -Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions -will be renamed. - -Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no -one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation -(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without -permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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