diff options
Diffstat (limited to 'old/62183-0.txt')
| -rw-r--r-- | old/62183-0.txt | 1734 |
1 files changed, 0 insertions, 1734 deletions
diff --git a/old/62183-0.txt b/old/62183-0.txt deleted file mode 100644 index 702ad68..0000000 --- a/old/62183-0.txt +++ /dev/null @@ -1,1734 +0,0 @@ -Project Gutenberg's Maiden Mona the Mermaid, by Frederick Augustus Dixon - -This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere in the United States and most -other parts of the world at no cost and with almost no restrictions -whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms of -the Project Gutenberg License included with this eBook or online at -www.gutenberg.org. If you are not located in the United States, you'll have -to check the laws of the country where you are located before using this ebook. - - - -Title: Maiden Mona the Mermaid - A Fairy Play for Fairy People - -Author: Frederick Augustus Dixon - -Release Date: May 20, 2020 [EBook #62183] - -Language: English - -Character set encoding: UTF-8 - -*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK MAIDEN MONA THE MERMAID *** - - - - -Produced by Richard Tonsing, Mary Glenn Krause, University -of Toronto's Thomas Fisher Rare Book Library and the Online -Distributed Proofreading Team at https://www.pgdp.net (This -file was produced from images generously made available -by The Internet Archive/American Libraries.) - - - - - - - - - - A Fairy Play for Fairy People. - - - - - MAIDEN MONA THE MERMAID. - A Fairy Play for Fairy People. - - - BY - - F. A. D. - -[Illustration] - - TORONTO: - BELFORD BROS., PUBLISHERS. - - MDCCCLXXVII. - - - - - DUDLEY & BURNS, PRINTERS. - HUNTER, ROSE & CO., BOOKBINDERS. - - - - - TO THE - - _CHILDREN OF THEIR EXCELLENCIES_, - - THE EARL AND COUNTESS OF DUFFERIN. - - THE - - Merry Little Party of Actors, - - FOR - - Whose Christmas Fun these Plays are Written, - - THIS LITTLE VOLUME, - - _With this a sole excuse for its nonsense_, - - IS - - Affectionately Dedicated. - ------------------------------------------------------------------------- - - - - - MAIDEN MONA THE MERMAID. - - - DRAMATIS PERSONÆ. - - - THE GNOME KING.—_A penniless potentate who used to play first fiddle, - but has lost his key._ - - O’ROOSTER THE AUDACIOUS.—_High Cockolorum. Master of the (rocking) - Horse. First Lord of the Shaving Brush. Gold Stick in w(h)aiting to the - King, and a warm stick, in plaster to Coquettina, Q.E.D.; R.S.V.P.; - R.I.P.; etc., etc., etc._ - - GENERAL BOUNCE.—_No relation to General De Billy Tee._ - - CAPTAIN POUNCE.—_Not Kept-in-pounds, shillings and pence, alas! Too - poor to “mawwy._” - - NOODLE,│_Twins and orphans; without, strange to say, a single parent - DOODLE.│left, (of course, a single pair ain’t right.) Their prospects, - │however, are in a fine pickle, which is something._ - - MONA THE MERMAID.—_Only a mer(e)maid she. - The Queen of dainty, wee things. - Fresh from the seething waves. - The last sweet thing in sea things._ - M-R-T-N T-PP-R. - - COQUETTINA.—_The Maid of the Mil(itary). Such a pet!_ - - THE FAIRY OF THE FOREST.—“_The meet little cherub who sits up aloft - And takes care of the life of poor Jack._” - (_Mr. Noodle._) - SH-K-SP-R. - - CORALINA.—_A duodecimo edition of a darling._ - - - CAST OF CHARACTERS. - - GOVERNMENT HOUSE OTTAWA - - New Year’s Day, 1877. - - - THE GNOME KING HON. TERENCE BLACKWOOD. - O’ROOSTER THE AUDACIOUS MR. EDWARD LITTLETON. - GENERAL BOUNCE MR. ALGERNON BLACKWOOD. - CAPTAIN POUNCE HON. BASIL BLACKWOOD. - NOODLE CAPTAIN WARD, A.D.C. - DOODLE CAPTAIN HAMILTON, A.D.C. - MONA THE MERMAID LADY HELEN BLACKWOOD. - COQUETTINA MISS MARGARET LITTLETON. - THE FAIRY OF THE FOREST LADY HERMIONE BLACKWOOD. - CORALINA LADY VICTORIA BLACKWOOD. - -[Illustration] - - - SCENE I. - - _Cavern on the Sea Coast by Moonlight.—Opening in Rocks at Back, - showing Sea.—The Waves are Rising and Running into Mouth of - Cavern.—Introductory Music Descriptive of Storm; Thunder Heard - Behind.—Music Gradually Changes to Soft Measured Air as Curtain - Rises.—Prince Doodle Discovered Lying on Rocks at Back. R. C. as - though Cast up by the Waves.—Enter through Opening Mona.—She - Comes Down, Combing Her Hair with a Golden Comb through the - following_:— - -[Illustration] - - MONA. Why, what a dreadful stormy night we’re getting, - It’s well for me I do not mind a wetting! - Full fathom five below those crested waves - No tempests ever stir _our_ coral caves. - We hear no thunder far below the sea; - The mermaids’ haunt is still as still can be; - In fact it’s rather dull sometimes down there, - And so I come up here and comb my hair. - - (_Moves towards back._) - - To-night, alas! another ship went down, - I cannot bear to see poor sailors drown. - - (_Sees PRINCE DOODLE._) - - Good gracious! What is this? As I am alive, - Why, it’s a man! I know it is! - - (_Steps hurriedly on rock as though going to plunge into sea._) - - I’ll dive! - I won’t! (_comes down_) I will! (_goes up_) No! - (_Hesitates._) Shall I? Will it bite? - It’s not a shark? (_Goes up and peeps, comes back holding - hand to heart._) It’s put me in a fright. - Mona! you silly goose! This palpitation - Is strange perhaps, but not a bad sensation. - I rather like it. Is it fear? No question! - I’m not afraid! Perhaps it’s indigestion? - I’ll take another peep. - - (_Goes to PRINCE on tip_toe, and comes away rapidly, clapping her - hands._) - - He’s charming, really! - If I could take him home I’d like to dearly. - How nice he’d be to play with! Shall I try? - He’s fast asleep! I’m sure he wouldn’t die. - - (_Tries to raise him. He groans._) - - His clothes are wet, perhaps he’s shipwrecked, too. - - (_PRINCE slowly sits up holding his hand to his side._) - - Good evening, sir. (_Curtesying._) - - PRINCE DOODLE. Good evening. How d’ye do? - - (_Rises with difficulty and comes forward._) - - Where am I? Who are you? What’s this? (_Feels water._) It’s water! - - MONA. This is the Norway coast, and I’m its daughter. - Young sir, you’re wet! your coat—— - Might be a better ’un. - I’m _young_; but still you won’t find here a _wetter_ ’un. - - MONA. Tell me your tale, for stories I love well. - - PRINCE DOODLE. Story; why bless you! I have none to tell; - Only last night, a-sailing on the ocean, - There came a squall, at least so I’ve a notion. - It stormed! it blew! it rained! the lightning crashed! - We pitched and rolled, (_imitates motion of ship_) and tossed, the - thunder flashed; - The wind, it rose and howled, and so did we. - - MONA. That’s very queer! - - PRINCE DOODLE. Things often are at sea. - “Cut down the starboard stays’l!” cried I. Then - “Splice the jib-boom, there, to the cross-trees, men!” - - (_Speaks excitedly, suiting action to words, and using hands as - speaking trumpet_,) - - “Stand by to hoist the to’gallant sheet anchor! - Take a pull on the weather lee scuppers, my hearties! - Let the mizzen binnacle go with a run!” - - MONA. (_Clapping her hands with delight._) - I like to hear you talk. Go on! What fun! - - PRINCE DOODLE. (_Disgusted at interruption._) - That’s all. - - MONA. (_Disappointed._) That’s not the end? - - PRINCE DOODLE. ’Twon’t take a minuit. - The ship she gave a lurch; and—left us in it. - Then to a hen coop clung the crew of forty-five; - - MONA. They’re drowned? (_clasping her hands in horror._) - - PRINCE DOODLE. Oh, not at all; they’re all alive. - They flew away. - - MONA. What, men! - - PRINCE DOODLE. No; geese, my dear! - I’m rather mixed. Perhaps my head is queer. - Listen, and I’ll a tale unfold to harrow—— - - MONA. (_Shrinking back_) - Ah! Don’t! - - PRINCE DOODLE. A tale to fr-r-r-r-eeze—— - - MONA. Oh, dear! - - PRINCE DOODLE. Your marrow! - - PRINCE DOODLE. (_Loud chord, and tremulo music through the - following._) - I have an uncle! - - MONA. Not uncommon, surely. - - PRINCE DOODLE. Some years ago, my poor papa, felt poorly; - Took to his bed, and—died—they say most queerly. - My uncle deals in magic? See you? - - MONA. Clearly! - - PRINCE DOODLE. My parent gone, th’ apparent heir was I! - To gain the throne he wished that I should die. - And then, because I couldn’t see why he, - Instead of I, the nation’s king should be; - He shipped me off, alone, to go to _see_, - Alone I said! not so! off was I cast - With four and forty geese before the mast! - His parting words were these:—“Return, my dear, - (Of course the whole thing was a jibe and sneer) - When’ere a mermaid’s heart you hold in hand, - And four and forty men before me stand, - In place of all these geese I send as crew. - ’Till then—‘O reservoir!’ my boy! adieu!” - - MONA. Oh! what a dreadful man! - - PRINCE DOODLE. He seized my brother; - And swore we ne’er again should see each other - Until this mermaid I should meet, so kind, - And then a mountain full of diamonds find. - The thing is absurd! There are no mermaids here, - My uncle has the thro_wn_; I’m _pitched out_ clear! - - MONA. The diamond mountain of the Gnome King, see - - (_Points off L._) - - It’s full of diamonds: full as full can be. - - PRINCE DOODLE. What’s that you say? That mountain! It’s all rock. - Diamonds inside! Oh, come! you only mock! - I’d like to see my brother— - - MONA. What’s your name? - - PRINCE DOODLE. Oh! I’m a Prince, Prince Doodle. - - MONA. What a shame! - - PRINCE DOODLE. My kingdom’s in Cockagne, you must have heard - Of Cock-a-doodle-do. (_She shakes head._) That noble bird - Was a remote progenitor. Indeed, - Our pedigree, by Darwin, you can read. - - MONA. I never learnt to read. Stay! (_puts fingers to forehead_) on - me dawns, - A notion (_triumphantly_) that’s where people live “_en Prince?_” - (_pronounce “on prawns.”_) - - PRINCE DOODLE. (_Aside._) _A notion_ fishy! (_Aloud._) No, my dear, - on _shrimps_! - Your friends?—They’re?—— - - MONA. Mermaids. - - PRINCE DOODLE. _water-“nimps?”_ - Why _w(h)at a—(looks towards her feet) tail_? - Forgive the observation, - Is there not something queer in your formation? - (_Hesitatingly._) You don’t wear boots and shoes? (_aside_) - Ah, that a fix is! - They _can’t_ of course! - - MONA. Why not? My number’s “sixes.” - You never heard of _soles_ and _eels_? - - PRINCE DOODLE. Yes, fried! - - MONA. Around our grottoes, there(_’s_) _sea-horses_(_’s_) _hide_. - For _bark_——you’ve heard the “moaning of the _tied_,” - And _hide_ and _bark_ make leather, eh? - - PRINCE DOODLE. Of course! - (_Aside._) I’ve traced my _night mare_ up to its _sea-horse_; - A mermaid! Here’s my chance! (_Aloud._) Dear me! How stupid! - (_Aside._) Now aid me, Venus! - - MONA. (_Overheating aside._) Venus! He must be Cupid! - Why how the boy has grown! (_Aloud._) Is she your “Ma?” - - PRINCE DOODLE. Alas, sweet maid! I am an orphan! (_sighs_) Ah! - With ne’er a _parent_, we’re a _pair rent_, too. - - MONA. You have my sympathy, what can I do! - - (_Aside, holding hand to heart._) - - Dear me! That queer sensation’s come again! - - PRINCE DOODLE. Your sympathy, _see, mends_ an orphan’s _pain_, - My _loving, lass_! - - MONA. Your _glass_, I’d mend, Prince, but I - Regret I’ve neither got _cements_ nor putty. - - PRINCE DOODLE. Say, could you learn to love? - - MONA. (_Innocently._) You’ll teach me your way? - - PRINCE DOODLE. It’s plain! No doubt it’s much the same in Norway. - - (_He puts arm round her waist and is going to kiss her, when he looks - off L._) - - See! yonder comes a _N’orse-man_ on an _’orse_! - - MONA. Oh! Let us fly! The Gnome King! - - PRINCE DOODLE. Fly! Of course. - If you’ll fly with me, dear, we’ll never part. - - MONA. (_Aside._) I’ve just discovered that I’ve got—a heart! - - (_Exeunt through opening at back R. U. E. Enter L. 2 E. The GNOME KING - on a rocking horse, attended by ROOSTER THE AUDACIOUS, GENERAL - BOUNCE, and CAPTAIN POUNCE._) - - GNOME KING. Whoa! Steady, boy! Here take this beast away - And stuff his mouldy ribs with ancient hay. - (_Exit R.U.E. CAPTAIN POUNCE with horse; he returns - front_) The only steed in all our royal stable; - We’d keep a dozen were we only able. - The times are hard and out of joint ’tis clear. - We’re out of _joints_ ourselves—and beer, - Ha! ha! (_to ROOSTER._) Why can’t you laugh? Ha! ha! - - ROOSTER, (_feebly_,) He! he! - - G. KING. What mean these looks, you’re very grave, I see. - Well, let’s to business. What are all these matters? - We want some coin, our robes are torn to tatters. - - (_seats himself on rock. R._) - - Let’s hear the worst. Produce your budget, quick! - Bring lights! Pray what’s the price of candles, _stick_? - - (_ROOSTER aside._) There’s not a candle left. (_aloud_) It’s nearly - morning. - (_aside_) What shall I say. (_aloud_) Sir, see the day is dawning. - - (_Stage gradually grows light._) - - G. KING. Well, how’s the Exchequer? - - ROOS. Empty. - - G. KING. Stock it. - - ROOS. I’ve eighteen pence, sir, in my waistcoat pocket. - It’s pretty clear we must increase taxation. - - G. K. We’ll tax the gnomes of each denomination. - - ROOS. They’re taxed already, sir, wholesale and retail. - - G. K. Tax them some more. - - ROOS. But how? - - G. K. Well, that’s a detail. - Taxes. Tax every thing and every body, - Toffee and tubs, ice cream and whiskey toddy. - Tax folks who fish—for compliments or salmon. - Lay taxes on their corns for shooting. - - ROOS. (_aside_) Gammon. - You’re pleased to joke. The situation’s grave. - - G. K. And so am I. I’m quite in earnest, slave. - Then, tax the air they breathe, the _airs_ they hear, - And tax their wives, it’s right _they_ should be _dear_. - Tax all pet oysters, sprats and whales they’re keeping. - Tax ’em for eating, drinking, also sleeping. - Tax them besides for laughing, singing, crying. - And lay a heavy tax on folks for _dye_ing. - Put taxes on the nation’s food and fuel, - From turtle soup, to grits for babies’ gruel. - Stay, here I have it! why, of course, you gabies - You’d make a fortune by a tax on babies. - - GENERAL BOUNCE. (_hesitatingly_) Can’t we economise, that’s my - suggestion, - What’s Toby and what’s not Toby’s the question? - - G. K. Well, how’s the army? can we cut it down? - Make sixpence go as far as half a crown? - - G. BOUNCE. One General, (_points to self_,) and one Captain of the - forces. - - (_Points to CAPTAIN POUNCE._) - - An inefficient staff, sir, that of course is; - Of cavalry we’ve none. - - G. K. The “Ryle Artileree?” - - G. B. Burst up. - - G. K. The Infantry? - - G. B. All here you see. - - (_Enter NOODLE, as full private, toy gun, bayonet fixed._) - - But he’s a big one. Pray don’t mention halving; - I grieve to say it, but the army’s— - - NOODLE. (_Sepulchrally._) Starving! - - G. K. Here’s insurrection! mutiny! revolt! - I’m not afraid, but p’raps I’d better bolt. - - (_ROOSTER, GENERAL and CAPTAIN run off, R._) - - G. K. Here officers, on your allegiance stay, - Protect your monarch now, don’t run away! - - (_Runs off R._) - - NOODLE. (_C. leaning on gun._) - I must confess. I think it’s rather hard. - For sixteen weeks I’ve been here, mounting guard. - I’ve eaten nothing but a rind of cheese, - And that wont help a man to “stand at ease.” - I never get to mess, but into _messes_, - The General’s joint is when the l_o_in_e_ he dresses. - That’s not the worst; it’s more than I can bear, - To hear the little beggar cry “form square!” - One into four, won’t go. He says it will. - Nothing goes into _me_ I know, but _drill_. - From morn till night he has me on my legs, - He’ll wear them off “as sure as eggs are eggs.” - He talks of “_wings_,” as if I were a bird. - “By your left wheel!” he cries. The thing’s absurd. - I’d like to know why should I _buy_ a _wheel_! - If I had any cash I’d buy a meal. - I’ll strike. Along the shore, I’ll take a stroll, - Perhaps the waves will give a nice fresh roll. - A witch foretold that here I’d meet my brother. - Alas, I fear we should not know each other. - I’ll put a board up, that will do to tell. - - (_Gets a piece of plank and writes on it in chalk. - “Dere brother I am hear close buy. - Yours_, - NOODLE.” - _To MISTER DOODLE. Places board against rock, R.C._) - - It’s fortunate at school I learnt to spell. - - (_Exit NOODLE, L. U. E._) - - (_Re-enter cautiously, KING, ROOSTER, GENERAL and CAPTAIN R._) - - G. B. The army’s disinfected! - - G. K. What’s the reason? - - ROOSTER. Off without _leave_, he’s gone. - - G. BOUNCE. No _leaf_! it’s _tree’s_-on! - - G. K. Pray cease your jokes, we have no time for fun. - This is an unkind _cut_, much over done. - The army gone! Say, is there further ill? - - ROOSTER. Allow me to present your tailors’ bill. - - (_Unfolds long roll of bill which runs out on the floor._) - - G. K. It must be done. A plan I’ll now unfold, - To fill our empty purse once more with gold. - Stay! Are we quite secure? - - (_Business; each going on tip-toe to R. and L. entrances, listening - and returning with exaggerated melodramatic action. Music, soft - chords. Stacato._) - - One word! I love! - - (_Loud chord, all start._) - - ROOSTER. (_Enquiringly._) Thou love’st? - - G. BOUNCE. (_Suspiciously._) He loves. - - CAPTAIN POUNCE. (_Confidentially._) We love! - - ROOSTER. (_Surprised._) Ye love! - - G. KING. (_Disgusted._) They love! - My love’s _declined_ with thanks. Alas, it’s true, - Kings are but mortals, and I love like you. - - ALL. The maid? - - G. KING. A mermaid. Nay, you should’nt start, - A mermaid, like a cabbage, has a heart. - I offered her my hand; in it the key - That opened locks to all the treasury. - My mountain diamond mines! my gold! I rave! - - G. B. She took it? - - G. KING. Yes, and flung it in the wave. - Since then, you know, I’ve not been worth a pin; - The rocky doors are closed, I can’t get in. - Listen. Next time she comes to land, we’ll seize her. - And till she fetches back that key, I’ll tease her. - Hullo! a step! - - (_All hide, R. & L. Enter PRINCE DOODLE off rock R._) - - DOODLE. Such fun! the mermaid nation, - Is not averse, I find, from small flirtation. - We’re getting on. - - (_Sees board._) - - What’s this! What have we here? - - (_Reads notice aloud._) - - Joy! joy! So then my long lost brother’s near. - He can’t be far, (_calls_) Hi! Noodle! Noodle! Noodle! - - (_Exit R. calling NOODLE. Enter MONA at centre, she hesitates, looks - round._) - - MONA. I wonder what’s become of darling Doodle. - - (_Comes down. G. King, and the others follow in stealthily; the G. - King has a veil._) - - We’re playing hide and seek. It’s charming play. - We play for kisses, and he always makes me pay. - I wonder where he’s gone! - - (_G. KING throws veil over her, she shrieks_.) - - We’ll hide you, miss; - Can’t you afford to give a King a kiss? - - (_She struggles._) - - Unless you get my golden key so shiny, - You may as well say ta, ta, to the briny. - - (_Scene closes in with view of the Cottage of the Maid of the Mill._) - - - SCENE II. - COQUETTINA’S COTTAGE. - - _COQUETTINA discovered looking at herself in a glass on L. wall. Arm - chair with cover on, R. Cupboard, R. Door, L. Barrel against - wall, L. Table with cover, C., candle burning on table._ - - COQ. There, that will do, that’s quite enough my dear. - Oh, Coquettina, you’re a flirt, I fear. - You naughty, naughty girl to act this way. - Ah! you’ll be very sorry, Miss, some day. - - (_Comes down._) - - I’m sure it’s not my fault. What can one do? - I dote on officers, and I’ve now got two. - The Captain’s not amiss; a handsome face! - And such a uniform! Oh, I love gold lace. - His pay’s so small—it’s not a bit of use. - But then the General’s such a dear—old goose. - He’s rather short and fat, and slightly lazy, - His conversation’s small; style, lackadaisy. - Still, who for _general_ conversation cares? - Ah, stay, I hear him puffing up the stairs. - - (_Seats herself hurriedly in chair, L., at back, and pretends to be - asleep. Rap heard at door, L., repeated twice. GENERAL BOUNCE puts - his head carefully into room_.) - - G. B. What, not at home! (_Comes down._) - These parlours in the sky - Are much like houses in Soho, _so high_. - I’m out of breath, and she’s out too, it’s clear, - I’ve had my climb for nothing. (_Sees COQUETTINA._) - (_Approaching her_) Ah, she’s here! - My dainty duck! my lamb, my tender chicken! - The cherries on those lips are worth the pickin’. - I must take one, though she may fume and flounce, - She’ll not object as Mrs. General Bounce. - - (_is about to kiss her, she starts up._) - - COQ. Ah, General! It’s you? - - G. B. (_confused_) I’m looking for— - - COQ. your _gout_? - A _taste_ of something good and nice, - Ah, _stout?_ - I see it’s _up_, (_Looking at him meaningly._) - You’d better take it down, - - (_Points to door._) - - GEN. B. Now what a tease you are! Come, do not frown. - Don’t, Coquettina, of my love make light. - You leant upon my arm quite hard last night. - Say you’ll be mine, come, Coquettina, do! - I am a single man. - - COQ. You’re big enough for two. - I’ve only one objection. - - GEN. B. What is that? - Pray _lean_ on me for life. - - COQ. _Lean!_ why, you’re _fat_! - - GEN. B. Call me not lean, but say I’m buxom, plump. - I am no scare-crow, made to run and jump. - To tell the _truth_, I like to take my ease, - I’m not a _skipper_ with a load of (_f_) “_lees_.” - Oh, that this too, too solid flesh would melt - To less than sixty inches round the belt! - - COQ. You can’t help that, _’tis you_. - - GEN. B. Well then, suppose - My _tissue is_ inclined to _adipose_. - You couldn’t _add a pose_ with all that tissue. - ’Twould be a _poser_ if I were to kiss you. - - COQ. Why what’s _possest_ the man? I’d like to see you! - - GEN. B. Well, so you shall. Here goes! (_He attempts - to chase her around stage, she easily eludes - him. Knock heard at door._) - - COQ. Oh, dear, oh, dear! - Mamma’s come back! Quick, General, get in here. - - (_pushes him into cupboard, R. Business, he not liking to go in. Rap - again._) - - Meet me beneath the haunted tree to-morrow. - - GEN. B. Adieu! - - COQ. Pray go! - - GEN. B. This parting’s such sweet sorrow. - - (_He goes into cupboard, crush of broken glass heard. He puts his head - out again._) - - I’ve sat upon your glasses! - - COQ. Take it easy. - My ab_sence_ won’t be long. - - GEN. B. (_Sniffs about cupboard._) Your _scents_ are cheesy. - - (_Exit into cupboard. She runs to door and opens it. Enter CAPT. - POUNCE. She curtseys, and looks down demurely. He comes front, - twirling his moustache._) - - CAPT. P. So this is where you live, child, is it, weally? - You’re up amongst the clouds here. - - COQ. Yes, Sir, nearly. - - CAPT. P. (_Gallantly_) For such a chewub quite a pwoper place. - (_Aside._) Upon my word, a vewy pwetty face! - - (_Looks out of window at R._) - - And what a view! All twees and sheep in flocks, - And wolling waves awound those wugged wocks. - - (_She is standing by him as he speaks the last words. He puts arm - round her waist._) - - COQ. _That’s_ not a “wugged wock.” Don’t let it trouble you, - But have you such a thing as a spare W? - - CAPT. T. Oh, weally, pon my life, you’re vewy pwetty. - - COQ. I thank you kindly, Sir. - - CAPT. P. And weally witty. - Yes. If I’d got some place to which to cawwy you, - Upon my word I’d weally like to mawwy you. - - COQ. (_Aside_) The darling! He’s a man a girl can love. - - CAPT. T. (_Looking on ground._) I fear I’ve lost it now. - - COQ. Your heart? - - CAPT. P. My glove. - - (_Loud sneezing from cupboard._) - - What’s that? - - COQ. The ginger beer has burst a bottle. - - CAPT. P. It sounded vewy like a human thwottle! - - (_Rap heard at door._) - - COQ. Ah, here’s mamma! quick, hide in this, now, see! - - (_Puts him into barrel. Business._) - - To-morrow meet me by the haunted tree. - - (_Throws cloth over top of barrel._) - - I’ll have such fun to-morrow for an hour. - - CAPT. P. (_Rising._) Look here, I say, this bawwel’s full of flour! - - (_She runs to him, forces him back and puts coverlet on again. Rap - again. She goes to door and opens it._) - - (_Enter ROOSTER THE AUDACIOUS, a big bundle of papers tied with red - tape, under his arm._) - - ROOS. Miss Coquettina, is your Ma’ within? - - (_Pulls out enormous watch from fob pocket._) - - I’ve twenty minutes left to woo and win. - - COQ. To woo and win! Upon my word that’s funny! - - ROOSTER. Business is business, Miss, and time is money. - All night I sat up on affairs of State. - I had to shave the King at half-past eight. - At nine to black his boots and brush his hair. - By ten, as President, I took the chair - Of the Society for Reforming Cats— - R. S. R. C. At twelve I sat on “Hats.” - - COQ. Hats! - - ROOS. Yes, and hatters, ’twas a much _felt_ question. - At one I had some lunch, and—indigestion. - At two I had to meet a deputation— - “Was it, or was it not, good for the nation - That folks should be allowed beef with their mustard,” - It was a serious matter. - - COQ. Were you flustered? - - ROOS. Oh, not at all, I said—If they could get it. - At two ’twas going on. - - COQ. So’s time. - - ROOS. Well, let it! - Till eight—three meetings; a foundation stone. - Then dressed the King for dinner; had my own. - Came here to pop the question—Will you wed? - I must get back to put the King to bed. - Say yes or no. - - COQ. You’d better ask mamma. - - (_Rap at door._) - - Not now! Some other time! - - ROOS. Yes! Now! - - COQ. No! - - ROOS. Bah! - - COQ. She may be angry. Get beneath the table. - Please. To oblige me. (_loud rap._) - - ROOS. Well, if I am able. - (_Gets under table._) I must confess I feel how ill you treat me. - - COQ. To-morrow, by the haunted tree you’ll meet me. - - (_Goes to door and open it. Enter G. KING. She curtseys. He chucks her - under chin._) - - GNOME KING. Well, lass, your pretty face I’ve long been missing. - You’ve got a kiss I hope— - - COQ. (_Coquettishly._) It’s always kissing. - Just like a man! He always _misses_ kisses. - - G. KING. It’s very hard a man can’t kiss his _misses_. - I’ll have your little head chopped off, Miss! Pray - Don’t make me angry! One! two! three! Away! - - COQ. Well, if you must, you must then; Take it, There! - - (_She turns back of head to him as he is about to kiss her._) - - What did it taste of _eh_ Sir? - - G. KING. _Hay?_ No! _Hare!_ - - COQ. Of course! It’s all my own. - - G. KING. Oh, _game_ you’re making! - - COQ. Oh, not at all, Sir, _I_ don’t go _hay raking_. - - G. KING. A kiss I’ll have! - - (_Runs after her, catches her, and is going to kiss her, when loud rap - is heard at door._) - - COQ. Mamma! - - G. KING. I’d like to choke her. - - COQ. Dear me! She’s awful with the kitchen poker! - You’d better hide, Sir. - - G. KING. Where? (_Runs to cupboard._) - - COQ. No, no! (_he runs towards barrel._) - Not there! (_He runs to table._) - I have it! Here! pretend to be a chair. - - (_She takes cover off chair and puts it over him with arms extended so - that he looks like a chair._) - - There! Now you’re safe, you need’nt now be daunted. - Meet me to-morrow by the tree that’s haunted. - - (_Goes to door, opens it and looks out._) - - What! no one here? how strange! who can it be? - Perhaps I’d better go outside and see. - - (_Goes outside. The “FAIRY OF THE FOREST” steps in and closes door._) - - FAIRY. Ah, Coquettina! oh, you naughty child! - In spite of all I’ve said, you _will_ be wild. - All right, Miss, I have such a rod in pickle! - But first these gentlemen in here I’ll tickle. - - (_Blows out candle. Stage darkens. She goes to cupboard and raps - gently, then to barrel, then to table, then to chair, and steps to - back of stage. All four come out and grope in the dark, avoiding - each other. They speak in whispers._) - - GEN. B. Here, Coquettina! - - CAPT. T. Deawest! - - ROOSTER. Where are you? - - KING. Come to my arms, my Coquettina, do! - - (_They all get into a circle in front of stage, each holding a hand of - the other. The fairy laughs, claps her hands, and fairies enter - with lanterns hung at the end of their wands. Stage lights up. - Quick curtain._) - -[Illustration] - - - SCENE III. - THE FOREST DELL. - - _Haunted tree C. at back. A large rock at R. of tree, upon which - NOODLE is seated._ - - NOODLE, (_Sneezing._) - - I’ve got a frightful cold. My Ms and Bs - Are all mixed up, likewise my Ls and Ds. - That Gnome King there, Oh, isn’t he a beauty! - Because, he said, I ran away from duty. - Fixed me by some enchantment to this stone, - And here he’s left me ever since, alone. - - (_Takes bottle from pocket._) - - Strolling the other day upon the sand, I - Found this. B. R. A. N. D. Y. spells brandy. - It isn’t bad, though how did it come here? - There’s been a shipwreck, that is very clear. - The country’s full of geese, too, it’s absurd! - Which ever way I turned I found a bird, - All dressed in sailor’s jackets, caps and things, - With spy glasses stuck underneath their wings. - - (_Enter MONA L. running._) - - MONA. There, I’ve escaped them! Now to find the shore, - I don’t think they will catch me any more. - - (_Moves toward tree._) - - It must be this way, I can scent the sea. - Ah! Who are you, sir, under that old tree. - - NOO. Don’t be afraid, fair maid, I cannot harm you; - Glued to this stone these _tones_ need not alarm you. - I can’t get up (_tries to rise_.) - - MONA. Why not? - - NOO. The Gnome has tied me. - - MONA. You have a story. Tell me. - - NOO. Sit beside me. - - (_MONA sits on rock other side of tree._) - - Long years ago I was a boy. - - MONA. How strange! - - NOO. A little tiny boy, so high. - - MONA. A change! - - NOO. I had an uncle, and I _was_ a prince. - My father died. _He_ seized the throne. - (_MONA starts_,) You wince. - - MONA. Oh not at all. Go on! I’ve heard a tale. - Like yours before. It’s very like a whale. - - NOO. My tail! there’s more behind. He then seized _me_ - And shipped me off, a little boy, to sea. - For many years I’ve wandered as a sailor, - And earned my salt as cook on board a whaler. - Shipwrecked upon this most unkindly shore, - I’ve lived a wretched life ten years or more. - The manikins who live down there below, - Took me, and made me giant in a show: - “Walk up! walk up! just going to begin.” - - (_imitates Showman._) - - That’s what they used to say to bring folks in— - “This giant is all real, no sawdust here!” - - MONA. Made you a giant, did they. That was queer. - - NOO. “There’s no deception, gents! no pads or straw!” - And then they’d pinch my legs to make me roar. - Stick pins into my calves. - - MONA. Oh, that was cruel. - - NOO. And if I would’t act they’d stop my gruel. - Well, now I’ve joined the army, serve the nation. - That means long drills, stiff collars and starvation. - I’ll make a raft or boat, and get away, - So sure as my name’s Noodle, miss, some day. - - MONA. What name? - - NOO. Why, Noodle. - - MONA. Noodle? - - NOO. Why not Noodle? - - MONA. You have a brother? - - NOO. Which his name is Doodle. - - (_Tries to rise._) - - Say, have you seen him? Is my brother here? - - MONA. He is. - - NOO. And I can’t leave my stony ‘_cheer_.’ - - MONA. I’ll go and seek him. (_Exit R._) - - NOO. Stay! She’s gone. What joy! - I havn’t seen my brother since a boy. - - (_Enter DOODLE hurriedly, L._) - - DOODLE. I’ve lost my mermaid! (_Sees NOODLE._) Ha! Pray who are you? - - NOO. (_Aside._) Is this my brother? Is your name, Sir, Doo—? - - DOO. It’s Noodle! (_Is going to rush towards him, but stops short - suddenly._) - Come though, this won’t do I say, - We mustn’t take things in this easy way. - Although perchance we may have had the same aunt. - There may perhaps, Sir, be another “Claimant.” - I’d like to ask a question. - - NOO. Ask a dozen. - - DOO. Pray, had your nurse, Sir, in the Guards a “cousin?” - - NOO. ’Tis strange, but true. - - DOO. ’Tis well! When you were able - You kicked you poor old pa beneath the table? - - (_NOODLE nods._) - - Say, did you once, upon your nurse’s lap, - By chance capsize a teaspoonful of pap? - - NOO. I did! I did! The circumstance pecoolia, - I now recall it. Which her name was Julia. - - DOO. Did you like sugar on your bread and butter? - - (_NOODLE nods._) - - Used you to play at marbles in the gutter? - - NOO. I must confess it. - - DOO. Now I think upon it. - Had you a bouncing B. once in your Bonnet. - - NOO. I had! I have! In fact, as I’m alive, - Not one bee only but a perfect hive. - - DOO. Have you on your left arm a strawberry mark? - - NOO. A perfect bed! You’d see them in the dark. - ’Tis he! ’tis he! My feelings I can’t smother; - Come to my arms my lengthy long lost brother! - - (_NOODLE tries to rise but cannot._) - - Why don’t you rise? - - NOO. I can’t, the Gnome King’s bound me. - I should have died down here if you’d not found me. - - DOO. What’s to be done? (_Trunk of tree opens, and discovers the - FAIRY OF THE FOREST._) - - FAIRY. Sprinkle him thrice, sprinkle him thrice, - With the water that trickles - And trickles and trickles - Down from the mountain - Here to the fountain. - Sprinkle and say, - One, two, three and away, - One, two, three and away. - - (_Trunk of tree closes again._) - - DOO. Ah, here’s the fountain, look! - - (_Runs off, R., and returns with water in the palm of his hand. Throws - it over NOODLE._) - - One, two, three and away! (_NOODLE springs up. He limps. The brothers - embrace._) - - NOO. I’m stiff as that old tree. - - _Enter MONA R., carrying large gold key_. - - MONA. You’ve found him, see! Look here! I’ve brought this key, - Key to the diamond mountain. Come! be quick: - We’ll play that dear old dwarf there such a trick. - - DOO. We’ll build a raft; with diamonds fill each sack; - Set sail before he knows— - - NOO. And not come back. - But where’s your crew? - - DOO. My crew? Oh there’s the rub, - I hav’nt got a crew to sail a tub. - A set of geese! (_Trunk of tree opens and shows FAIRY OF THE FOREST._) - - FAIRY. Sprinkle thrice, sprinkle thrice. - And your geese, in half a trice - Will disappear, and on the land, - Four and forty sailors stand. - - (_Trunk of tree closes._) - - DOO. A friend in need’s a friend indeed they say. Madam, we thank - you. Come, friends, let’s away. - - NOO. Let’s to the mountain; there our sacks we’ll fill. And get good - fortune from a monstrous _ill_. - - (_Exeunt, R., Trunk of tree opens. FAIRY OF THE FOREST descends, and - comes forward._) - - FAIRY. So far so good. Those captives stirred my pity, - And Maiden Mona is so good and pretty. - I hate that Gnome; he is so tough and tarty. (_looks off._) - Here’s naughty Coquettina and her party. - I’ll sprinkle magic water on them all, - And where they stand they’ll stay until I call. - - (_She returns into tree, which closes. Enter L. COQUETTINA hurriedly. - She looks back as she enters._) - - COQ. What fun! they’re coming all together here. - I’ll hide behind this tree. (_Trunk opens, FAIRY appears and sprinkles - her. She stops instantly._) - - FAIRY. You’ll not, my dear. - - (_Trunk closes. Enter R. and L. KING, ROOSTER, GENERAL BOUNCE and - CAPT. POUNCE. Different entrances. Music soft and staccato. As they - advance to centre, they see each other._) - - ALL. Hallo! - - (_Fairy appears; sprinkles them. They stop short and each retains the - position of the moment, Lime light. Scene closes in with cavern, - same as scene 1st, only opening at back closed in. Several sailors - cross the stage from L. to R., carrying sacks on their backs. - NOODLE and DOODLE bring up the rear, each carrying a sack. They - come front._) - - DOO. There! That’s the last, the raft won’t carry more. - And now set sail, and quit this unkind shore. - Where’s Mona? (_Enter MONA, R._) - - MONA. Here. Please, dear, before we go, - I wish to say good-bye to friends below. - - DOO. I’m not a fish! - - MONA. It’s done quite easily, - We’ll sink this cavern down below the sea. - - (_Enter L. KING, ROOSTER, GENERAL BOUNCE, CAPT. POUNCE, COQUETTINA._) - - G. KING. Mind your own business, Miss, leave mine alone. - I have a charm will turn you all to stone. - - (_Makes passes in the air. Enter L. FAIRY._) - - FAIRY. If you’re not good you’ll get another sprinkle. - - G. KING. I’d rather be a lobster or a winkle. - - MONA. Then here’s your key. Remember, don’t be cruel. - - NOO. And feed your army. Give your giants gruel. - - MONA. We’re going down. D’ye feel the motion? - - DOO. Well! - It’s easy as a lift in some hotel. - - (_All give a slight jump as though the bottom had been reached._) - - MONA. We’re there at last. Now let the water in. - Don’t be afraid, you will not wet your skin. - - (_Scene at back and sides gradually opens to soft music, and shows the_) - - MERMAID’S HAUNT. - - (_CORALINA descends in a coral car at back. Mermaids R. and L._) - - COQUETTINA. This is my home. Good-bye, dear friends, to-night, - And don’t forget your little Mermaid quite. - - FAIRY OF THE FOREST. The bottom of the sea! It’s like a dream. - - COQ. You’ve no society down here. - - MONA. The very cream. - - COQ. Perhaps it’s iced. I’m sure its very chilly. - - GEN. BOUNCE. It’s all _cold cream_, of course, you little silly! - - MONA. I hope you’re all content. - - NOODLE. Well, I don’t know. - Poor Coquettina here— - - DOODLE. Pray, where’s her beau? - - (_Coquettina, turns to CAPTAIN POUNCE._) - - CAPTAIN P. Ah! Weally sowwy! Can’t be done I fear, - When my superior officer is here. - - (_She turns to GENERAL BOUNCE._) - - GEN. B. Well! Hem! The situation’s most unpleasant, - But as for matrimony!—not at present. - Our friend here will oblige. Come, Rooster, say! - - (_She turns to ROOSTER._) - - ROOSTER. Too busy, now. Pray call another day. - - COQ. Oh! very well! I’m sure that I don’t care. - I’ll join the “Ladies Club.” They’ve no men there! - - G. KING. A gnome’s _un homme_ for all that. Here’s my _key_. - _C. flat’s_ found often down below the _C_. - One thing I know, if once I get above, - No man shall say the Gnome is crossed in love. - - GEN. B. A soldier’s duty lies in drill and glory, - But as for love, well, that’s another story. - - CAPT. P. Well, weally! Take things easy is my motto: - But fancy catching shwimps here in a gwotto! - - (_Pretends to catch Shrimp swimming past._) - - DOODLE. (_Putting his am round Mona’s waist._) - Though strange, a mermaid’s heart I hold in hand! - My geese are changed to sailors; there they stand. - We’ve found the diamond mine— - - NOO. And filled each sack. - - DOO. And as for uncle (_Turning up Coat cuffs._) - - NOO. Wait till we get back! - - MONA. Since all things wrong are now at last made right, - We only have a wish you all good-night. - - (_Red and green lights._) - - CORALINA. - FAIRY OF THE FOREST. - GENERAL BOUNCE. CAPTAIN POUNCE. - GNOME KING. ROOSTER. - MONA. COQUETTINA. - DOODLE. NOODLE. - - - _Curtain._ - ------------------------------------------------------------------------- - - - - - TRANSCRIBER’S NOTES - - - 1. Silently corrected typographical errors and variations in spelling. - 2. Archaic, non-standard, and uncertain spellings retained as printed. - 3. Enclosed italics font in _underscores_. The SMALL-CAPS was not - italicized. - 4. Enclosed bold font in equals. - - - - - -End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Maiden Mona the Mermaid, by -Frederick Augustus Dixon - -*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK MAIDEN MONA THE MERMAID *** - -***** This file should be named 62183-0.txt or 62183-0.zip ***** -This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: - http://www.gutenberg.org/6/2/1/8/62183/ - -Produced by Richard Tonsing, Mary Glenn Krause, University -of Toronto's Thomas Fisher Rare Book Library and the Online -Distributed Proofreading Team at https://www.pgdp.net (This -file was produced from images generously made available -by The Internet Archive/American Libraries.) - - -Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions -will be renamed. - -Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no -one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation -(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without -permission and without paying copyright royalties. Special rules, -set forth in the General Terms of Use part of this license, apply to -copying and distributing Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works to -protect the PROJECT GUTENBERG-tm concept and trademark. Project -Gutenberg is a registered trademark, and may not be used if you -charge for the eBooks, unless you receive specific permission. If you -do not charge anything for copies of this eBook, complying with the -rules is very easy. You may use this eBook for nearly any purpose -such as creation of derivative works, reports, performances and -research. They may be modified and printed and given away--you may do -practically ANYTHING with public domain eBooks. Redistribution is -subject to the trademark license, especially commercial -redistribution. - - - -*** START: FULL LICENSE *** - -THE FULL PROJECT GUTENBERG LICENSE -PLEASE READ THIS BEFORE YOU DISTRIBUTE OR USE THIS WORK - -To protect the Project Gutenberg-tm mission of promoting the free -distribution of electronic works, by using or distributing this work -(or any other work associated in any way with the phrase "Project -Gutenberg"), you agree to comply with all the terms of the Full Project -Gutenberg-tm License available with this file or online at - www.gutenberg.org/license. - - -Section 1. General Terms of Use and Redistributing Project Gutenberg-tm -electronic works - -1.A. By reading or using any part of this Project Gutenberg-tm -electronic work, you indicate that you have read, understand, agree to -and accept all the terms of this license and intellectual property -(trademark/copyright) agreement. If you do not agree to abide by all -the terms of this agreement, you must cease using and return or destroy -all copies of Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works in your possession. -If you paid a fee for obtaining a copy of or access to a Project -Gutenberg-tm electronic work and you do not agree to be bound by the -terms of this agreement, you may obtain a refund from the person or -entity to whom you paid the fee as set forth in paragraph 1.E.8. - -1.B. "Project Gutenberg" is a registered trademark. It may only be -used on or associated in any way with an electronic work by people who -agree to be bound by the terms of this agreement. There are a few -things that you can do with most Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works -even without complying with the full terms of this agreement. See -paragraph 1.C below. There are a lot of things you can do with Project -Gutenberg-tm electronic works if you follow the terms of this agreement -and help preserve free future access to Project Gutenberg-tm electronic -works. See paragraph 1.E below. - -1.C. The Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation ("the Foundation" -or PGLAF), owns a compilation copyright in the collection of Project -Gutenberg-tm electronic works. Nearly all the individual works in the -collection are in the public domain in the United States. If an -individual work is in the public domain in the United States and you are -located in the United States, we do not claim a right to prevent you from -copying, distributing, performing, displaying or creating derivative -works based on the work as long as all references to Project Gutenberg -are removed. Of course, we hope that you will support the Project -Gutenberg-tm mission of promoting free access to electronic works by -freely sharing Project Gutenberg-tm works in compliance with the terms of -this agreement for keeping the Project Gutenberg-tm name associated with -the work. You can easily comply with the terms of this agreement by -keeping this work in the same format with its attached full Project -Gutenberg-tm License when you share it without charge with others. - -1.D. The copyright laws of the place where you are located also govern -what you can do with this work. Copyright laws in most countries are in -a constant state of change. If you are outside the United States, check -the laws of your country in addition to the terms of this agreement -before downloading, copying, displaying, performing, distributing or -creating derivative works based on this work or any other Project -Gutenberg-tm work. The Foundation makes no representations concerning -the copyright status of any work in any country outside the United -States. - -1.E. Unless you have removed all references to Project Gutenberg: - -1.E.1. The following sentence, with active links to, or other immediate -access to, the full Project Gutenberg-tm License must appear prominently -whenever any copy of a Project Gutenberg-tm work (any work on which the -phrase "Project Gutenberg" appears, or with which the phrase "Project -Gutenberg" is associated) is accessed, displayed, performed, viewed, -copied or distributed: - -This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with -almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or -re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included -with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org - -1.E.2. If an individual Project Gutenberg-tm electronic work is derived -from the public domain (does not contain a notice indicating that it is -posted with permission of the copyright holder), the work can be copied -and distributed to anyone in the United States without paying any fees -or charges. If you are redistributing or providing access to a work -with the phrase "Project Gutenberg" associated with or appearing on the -work, you must comply either with the requirements of paragraphs 1.E.1 -through 1.E.7 or obtain permission for the use of the work and the -Project Gutenberg-tm trademark as set forth in paragraphs 1.E.8 or -1.E.9. - -1.E.3. If an individual Project Gutenberg-tm electronic work is posted -with the permission of the copyright holder, your use and distribution -must comply with both paragraphs 1.E.1 through 1.E.7 and any additional -terms imposed by the copyright holder. Additional terms will be linked -to the Project Gutenberg-tm License for all works posted with the -permission of the copyright holder found at the beginning of this work. - -1.E.4. Do not unlink or detach or remove the full Project Gutenberg-tm -License terms from this work, or any files containing a part of this -work or any other work associated with Project Gutenberg-tm. - -1.E.5. Do not copy, display, perform, distribute or redistribute this -electronic work, or any part of this electronic work, without -prominently displaying the sentence set forth in paragraph 1.E.1 with -active links or immediate access to the full terms of the Project -Gutenberg-tm License. - -1.E.6. You may convert to and distribute this work in any binary, -compressed, marked up, nonproprietary or proprietary form, including any -word processing or hypertext form. However, if you provide access to or -distribute copies of a Project Gutenberg-tm work in a format other than -"Plain Vanilla ASCII" or other format used in the official version -posted on the official Project Gutenberg-tm web site (www.gutenberg.org), -you must, at no additional cost, fee or expense to the user, provide a -copy, a means of exporting a copy, or a means of obtaining a copy upon -request, of the work in its original "Plain Vanilla ASCII" or other -form. Any alternate format must include the full Project Gutenberg-tm -License as specified in paragraph 1.E.1. - -1.E.7. Do not charge a fee for access to, viewing, displaying, -performing, copying or distributing any Project Gutenberg-tm works -unless you comply with paragraph 1.E.8 or 1.E.9. - -1.E.8. You may charge a reasonable fee for copies of or providing -access to or distributing Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works provided -that - -- You pay a royalty fee of 20% of the gross profits you derive from - the use of Project Gutenberg-tm works calculated using the method - you already use to calculate your applicable taxes. The fee is - owed to the owner of the Project Gutenberg-tm trademark, but he - has agreed to donate royalties under this paragraph to the - Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation. Royalty payments - must be paid within 60 days following each date on which you - prepare (or are legally required to prepare) your periodic tax - returns. Royalty payments should be clearly marked as such and - sent to the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation at the - address specified in Section 4, "Information about donations to - the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation." - -- You provide a full refund of any money paid by a user who notifies - you in writing (or by e-mail) within 30 days of receipt that s/he - does not agree to the terms of the full Project Gutenberg-tm - License. You must require such a user to return or - destroy all copies of the works possessed in a physical medium - and discontinue all use of and all access to other copies of - Project Gutenberg-tm works. - -- You provide, in accordance with paragraph 1.F.3, a full refund of any - money paid for a work or a replacement copy, if a defect in the - electronic work is discovered and reported to you within 90 days - of receipt of the work. - -- You comply with all other terms of this agreement for free - distribution of Project Gutenberg-tm works. - -1.E.9. If you wish to charge a fee or distribute a Project Gutenberg-tm -electronic work or group of works on different terms than are set -forth in this agreement, you must obtain permission in writing from -both the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation and Michael -Hart, the owner of the Project Gutenberg-tm trademark. Contact the -Foundation as set forth in Section 3 below. - -1.F. - -1.F.1. Project Gutenberg volunteers and employees expend considerable -effort to identify, do copyright research on, transcribe and proofread -public domain works in creating the Project Gutenberg-tm -collection. Despite these efforts, Project Gutenberg-tm electronic -works, and the medium on which they may be stored, may contain -"Defects," such as, but not limited to, incomplete, inaccurate or -corrupt data, transcription errors, a copyright or other intellectual -property infringement, a defective or damaged disk or other medium, a -computer virus, or computer codes that damage or cannot be read by -your equipment. - -1.F.2. LIMITED WARRANTY, DISCLAIMER OF DAMAGES - Except for the "Right -of Replacement or Refund" described in paragraph 1.F.3, the Project -Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation, the owner of the Project -Gutenberg-tm trademark, and any other party distributing a Project -Gutenberg-tm electronic work under this agreement, disclaim all -liability to you for damages, costs and expenses, including legal -fees. YOU AGREE THAT YOU HAVE NO REMEDIES FOR NEGLIGENCE, STRICT -LIABILITY, BREACH OF WARRANTY OR BREACH OF CONTRACT EXCEPT THOSE -PROVIDED IN PARAGRAPH 1.F.3. YOU AGREE THAT THE FOUNDATION, THE -TRADEMARK OWNER, AND ANY DISTRIBUTOR UNDER THIS AGREEMENT WILL NOT BE -LIABLE TO YOU FOR ACTUAL, DIRECT, INDIRECT, CONSEQUENTIAL, PUNITIVE OR -INCIDENTAL DAMAGES EVEN IF YOU GIVE NOTICE OF THE POSSIBILITY OF SUCH -DAMAGE. - -1.F.3. LIMITED RIGHT OF REPLACEMENT OR REFUND - If you discover a -defect in this electronic work within 90 days of receiving it, you can -receive a refund of the money (if any) you paid for it by sending a -written explanation to the person you received the work from. If you -received the work on a physical medium, you must return the medium with -your written explanation. The person or entity that provided you with -the defective work may elect to provide a replacement copy in lieu of a -refund. If you received the work electronically, the person or entity -providing it to you may choose to give you a second opportunity to -receive the work electronically in lieu of a refund. If the second copy -is also defective, you may demand a refund in writing without further -opportunities to fix the problem. - -1.F.4. Except for the limited right of replacement or refund set forth -in paragraph 1.F.3, this work is provided to you 'AS-IS', WITH NO OTHER -WARRANTIES OF ANY KIND, EXPRESS OR IMPLIED, INCLUDING BUT NOT LIMITED TO -WARRANTIES OF MERCHANTABILITY OR FITNESS FOR ANY PURPOSE. - -1.F.5. Some states do not allow disclaimers of certain implied -warranties or the exclusion or limitation of certain types of damages. -If any disclaimer or limitation set forth in this agreement violates the -law of the state applicable to this agreement, the agreement shall be -interpreted to make the maximum disclaimer or limitation permitted by -the applicable state law. The invalidity or unenforceability of any -provision of this agreement shall not void the remaining provisions. - -1.F.6. INDEMNITY - You agree to indemnify and hold the Foundation, the -trademark owner, any agent or employee of the Foundation, anyone -providing copies of Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works in accordance -with this agreement, and any volunteers associated with the production, -promotion and distribution of Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works, -harmless from all liability, costs and expenses, including legal fees, -that arise directly or indirectly from any of the following which you do -or cause to occur: (a) distribution of this or any Project Gutenberg-tm -work, (b) alteration, modification, or additions or deletions to any -Project Gutenberg-tm work, and (c) any Defect you cause. - - -Section 2. Information about the Mission of Project Gutenberg-tm - -Project Gutenberg-tm is synonymous with the free distribution of -electronic works in formats readable by the widest variety of computers -including obsolete, old, middle-aged and new computers. It exists -because of the efforts of hundreds of volunteers and donations from -people in all walks of life. - -Volunteers and financial support to provide volunteers with the -assistance they need are critical to reaching Project Gutenberg-tm's -goals and ensuring that the Project Gutenberg-tm collection will -remain freely available for generations to come. In 2001, the Project -Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation was created to provide a secure -and permanent future for Project Gutenberg-tm and future generations. -To learn more about the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation -and how your efforts and donations can help, see Sections 3 and 4 -and the Foundation information page at www.gutenberg.org - - -Section 3. Information about the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive -Foundation - -The Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation is a non profit -501(c)(3) educational corporation organized under the laws of the -state of Mississippi and granted tax exempt status by the Internal -Revenue Service. The Foundation's EIN or federal tax identification -number is 64-6221541. Contributions to the Project Gutenberg -Literary Archive Foundation are tax deductible to the full extent -permitted by U.S. federal laws and your state's laws. - -The Foundation's principal office is located at 4557 Melan Dr. S. -Fairbanks, AK, 99712., but its volunteers and employees are scattered -throughout numerous locations. Its business office is located at 809 -North 1500 West, Salt Lake City, UT 84116, (801) 596-1887. Email -contact links and up to date contact information can be found at the -Foundation's web site and official page at www.gutenberg.org/contact - -For additional contact information: - Dr. Gregory B. Newby - Chief Executive and Director - gbnewby@pglaf.org - -Section 4. Information about Donations to the Project Gutenberg -Literary Archive Foundation - -Project Gutenberg-tm depends upon and cannot survive without wide -spread public support and donations to carry out its mission of -increasing the number of public domain and licensed works that can be -freely distributed in machine readable form accessible by the widest -array of equipment including outdated equipment. Many small donations -($1 to $5,000) are particularly important to maintaining tax exempt -status with the IRS. - -The Foundation is committed to complying with the laws regulating -charities and charitable donations in all 50 states of the United -States. Compliance requirements are not uniform and it takes a -considerable effort, much paperwork and many fees to meet and keep up -with these requirements. We do not solicit donations in locations -where we have not received written confirmation of compliance. To -SEND DONATIONS or determine the status of compliance for any -particular state visit www.gutenberg.org/donate - -While we cannot and do not solicit contributions from states where we -have not met the solicitation requirements, we know of no prohibition -against accepting unsolicited donations from donors in such states who -approach us with offers to donate. - -International donations are gratefully accepted, but we cannot make -any statements concerning tax treatment of donations received from -outside the United States. U.S. laws alone swamp our small staff. - -Please check the Project Gutenberg Web pages for current donation -methods and addresses. Donations are accepted in a number of other -ways including checks, online payments and credit card donations. -To donate, please visit: www.gutenberg.org/donate - - -Section 5. General Information About Project Gutenberg-tm electronic -works. - -Professor Michael S. Hart was the originator of the Project Gutenberg-tm -concept of a library of electronic works that could be freely shared -with anyone. For forty years, he produced and distributed Project -Gutenberg-tm eBooks with only a loose network of volunteer support. - -Project Gutenberg-tm eBooks are often created from several printed -editions, all of which are confirmed as Public Domain in the U.S. -unless a copyright notice is included. Thus, we do not necessarily -keep eBooks in compliance with any particular paper edition. - -Most people start at our Web site which has the main PG search facility: - - www.gutenberg.org - -This Web site includes information about Project Gutenberg-tm, -including how to make donations to the Project Gutenberg Literary -Archive Foundation, how to help produce our new eBooks, and how to -subscribe to our email newsletter to hear about new eBooks. - |