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diff --git a/6042.txt b/6042.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..c9df664 --- /dev/null +++ b/6042.txt @@ -0,0 +1,24349 @@ +The Project Gutenberg EBook of The Diary and Letters of Madam D'Arblay Volume 2 +by Madame D'Arblay + +Copyright laws are changing all over the world. Be sure to check the +copyright laws for your country before downloading or redistributing +this or any other Project Gutenberg eBook. + +This header should be the first thing seen when viewing this Project +Gutenberg file. Please do not remove it. Do not change or edit the +header without written permission. + +Please read the "legal small print," and other information about the +eBook and Project Gutenberg at the bottom of this file. Included is +important information about your specific rights and restrictions in +how the file may be used. You can also find out about how to make a +donation to Project Gutenberg, and how to get involved. + + +**Welcome To The World of Free Plain Vanilla Electronic Texts** + +**eBooks Readable By Both Humans and By Computers, Since 1971** + +*****These eBooks Were Prepared By Thousands of Volunteers!***** + + +Title: The Diary and Letters of Madam D'Arblay Volume 2 + +Author: Madame D'Arblay + +Release Date: July, 2004 [EBook #6042] +[Yes, we are more than one year ahead of schedule] +[This file was first posted on October 23, 2002] + +Edition: 10 + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ASCII + +*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK, THE DIARY AND LETTERS OF MADAM D'ARBLAY VOLUME 2 *** + + + + +This eBook was produced by Marjorie Fulton. + + + + THE DIARY AND LETTERS + OF + MADAME D'ARBLAY + (FRANCES BURNEY.) + + WITH NOTES BY W. C. WARD, + AND PREFACED BY LORD MACAULAY'S ESSAY. + + IN THREE VOLUMES. + + VOL. 2. + (1787-1792.) + + + WITH AN ENGRAVING OF GEORGE III., QUEEN CHARLOTTE, + AND THEIR FAMILY. + + + LONDON: VIZETELLY & CO., 16, HENRIETTA STREET, + COVENT GARDEN. + 1891. + + PRINTED BY J. S. VIRTUE & COMPANY, LONDON, + CITY ROAD. + + + + + +10. (1787) COURT DUTIES AT ST. JAMES'S AND WINDSOR --9-48 + +The Queen's Birthday Drawing Room--A Serious Dilemma--Counsels of +a Court Official--Mr. Turbulent's Anxiety to Introduce Mr. +Wellbred--Colonel Wellbred is received at Tea--Eccentric Mr. +Bryant--Mr. Turbulent in a New Character--Bantering a Princess- +-Mr. Turbulent meets with a Rebuff--A Surprise at the Play--The +King's Birthday--The Equerries: Colonel Manners--The Duchess de +Polignac at Windsor--Colonel Manners' Musical Accomplishments- +-Mrs. Schwellenberg's "Lump of Leather"--Mrs. Schwellenberg's +Frogs--Mr. Turbulent's Antics. + +11 (1787-8) COURT DUTIES: SOME VARIATIONS IN THEIR ROUTINE--49-85 + + Meeting of the two Princes--Bunbury, the Caricaturist--Mrs. +Siddons proves disappointing on near acquaintance--Mr. Fairly's +Bereavement--Troublesome Mr. Turbulent--A Conceited Parson--Mr. +Turbulent becomes a Nuisance--Dr. Herschel and his Sister--Gay +and Entertaining Mr. Bunbury--The Prince of Wales at Windsor +again--False Rumours of Miss Burney's Resignation--Tyrannical +Mrs. Schwellenberg--Mrs. Schwellenberg's Capriciousness--New +Year's Day--Chatty Mr. Bryant again--Dr. Johnson's Letters to +Mrs. Thrale discussed--A Pair of Paragons--Mr. Turbulent's Self +Condemnation--Miss Burney among her Old Friends--Some Trivial +Court Incidents. + +12 (1788) THE TRIAL OF WARREN HASTINGS--86-153 + +Westminster Hall at the opening of the Hastings Trial--Warren +Hastings appears at the Bar--The Lord Chancellor's Speech--The +Reading of the Charges commenced--An Old Acquaintance--William +Windham, Esq., M.P.--Windham inveighs against Warren Hastings- +-Miss Burney Battles for the Accused--A Wearied M.P.--Mr. +Crutchley reappears--Mr. Windham discusses the Impeachment- +-Windham affects to commiserate Hastings--Miss Burney is again +present at Hastings's Trial--Burke's Speech in support of the +Charges--Further Conversation with Mr. Windham--Miss Fuzilier +likely to become Mrs. Fairly--The Hastings Trial again: Mr. Fox +in a Rage--Mrs. Crewe, Mr. Burke and Mr. Windham--Miss Burney's +Unbiassed Sentiments--Burke and Sheridan meet with Cold +Receptions--At Windsor again--Death of Mrs. Delany--The + +page vi + +Hastings Trial and Mr. Windham again--"The Queen is so kind"-- +Personal Resemblance between Windham and Hastings--Death of Young +Lady Mulgrave--Again at Windsor--Another Meeting with Mr. +Crutchley--Mr. Turbulent's troublesome Pleasantries--Colonel +Fairly and Second Attachments. + +13. (1788) ROYAL VISIT TO CHELTENHAM--154--219 + +The Royal Party and their Suite--Loyalty not Damped by the Rain- +-Arrival at Fauconberg Hall--The Tea-Table Difficulty--A +t`ete-`a-t`ete wit" Colonel Fairly--The King's +Gentlemen and the Queen's Ladies--Royalty Crowded at Fauconberg +Hall--At the wells--Conversation and Flirtation with Colonel +Fairly--Miss Burney meets an old Friend--Colonel Fairly again--A +Visit to miss Palmer--"Original Love Letters"--The Founder of +Sunday Schools criticised--On the Walks--An Unexpected Visitor-- +Courts and Court Life--The Vindictive Baretti--speculations upon +Colonel Fairly's Re-marrying--Colonel Fairly again presents +Himself--The Colonel and the "Original Love Letters"--The Gout +and the Love Letters again--A Dinner with Colonel Fairly and Miss +Planta--Royal Concern for the Colonel's Gout--young Republicans +Converted--The Princes' Animal Spirits--The Duke of York: Royal +Visit to the Theatre--An uncourtly visitor--Mr. Fairly reads +"Akenside" to Miss Burney--The Doctor's Embarrassment--From Grave +to Gay--A Visit to Worcester--The Queen and Mr. Fairly--Mr. +Fairly Moralizes--Major Price is tired of Retirement--The Return +to Windsor--At Windsor again: The Canon and Mrs. Schwellenberg-- +Compliments from a famous Foreign Astronomer--The Prince eyes +miss Burney curiously--Colonel manners's Beating--mr. Fairly is +Discussed by his Brother Equerries--Baron Trenck: Mr. Turbulent's +Raillery--Amiable Mrs. Schwellenberg again--A Royal Joke--Colonel +Goldsworthy's Breach of Etiquette--Illness of Mrs. Schwellenberg- +-General Grenville's Regiment at Drill. + +14. (1788-9) THE KING'S ILLNESS--220-299 + +Uncertain State of the King's Health--The King complains +of Want of Sleep--Distress of the Queen--First Outburst of the +King's Delirium--An Anxious Night--The King's Delirious +Condition-The King refuses to see Dr. Warren--The Queen's anxiety +to hear Dr. Warren's opinion--The Queen removes to more distant +Apartments--A Visit from Mr. Fairly--The King's Night Watchers--A +Change in Miss Burney's Duties--Mr. Fairly Succeeds in Soothing +the King--New Arrangements--The Princess Augusta's Birthday-- +Strange Behaviour of the First Gentleman in Europe--Stringent New +Regulations--Mrs. Schwellenberg is back again--Public Prayers for +the King decided upon--Sir Lucas Pepys On the King's Condition- +Further Changes at the Lodge--Mr. Fairly and the Learned Ladies-- +Reports on the King's Condition--Mr. Fairly thinks the King + +Page vii + +needs Stricter Management--Mr. Fairly wants a Change--Removal of +the King to Kew determined upon--A Privy Council held--The +Removal to Kew--A Mysterious Visitor--The King's Arrival--The +Arrangements at Kew Palace--A Regency hinted at--Mr. Fairly's +Kind Offices--Mrs. Schwellenberg's Parlour--A new Physician +Summoned--Mrs. Schwellenberg's Opinion of Mr. Fairly--The King's +varying Condition--Dr. Willis and his Son--Learning in Women--The +Queen and Mr. Fairly's Visits-A Melancholy Birthday--Mr. Fairly +on Fans--Mr. Fairly continues his Visits: the Queen again Remarks +upon them--The Search for Mr. Fairly--Miss Burney's Alarm on +being chased by the King--A Royal Salute and Royal Confidences-- +Curiosity regarding Miss Burney's meeting with the King--The +Regency Bill--Infinitely Licentious!--Miss Burney is taxed with +Visiting Gentlemen--Improvement in the King's Health--Mr. Fairly +and Mr. Windham--The King continues to improve--The King's Health +is completely Restored. + +15. (1789) THE KING'S RECOVERY: ROYAL VISIT TO WEYMOUTH--300-333 + + The King's Reappearance--An Airing and its Consequences-- +Illuminations on the King's Recovery--Mr. Fairly on Miss Burney's +Duties--A Visit from Miss Fuzilier--A Command from Her Majesty- +-Colonel Manners mystifies Mrs. Schwellenberg--The Sailor +Prince--Loyal Reception of the King in the New Forest--The Royal +journey to Weymouth--Welcome to Weymouth--The Royal Plunge with +Musical honours--"You must Kneel, Sir!"--Royal doings in and +about Weymouth--A Patient Audience--A Fatiguing but Pleasant +Day--Lulworth Castle--The Royal Party at the Assembly Rooms--A +journey to Exeter and Saltram--May "One" come in?--An Excursion +to Plymouth Dockyard--A Visit to a Seventy-four--A Day at Mount +Edgecumbe--Mr. Fairly on a Court Life--A Brief Sojourn at +Longleat--Tottenham Court: Return to Windsor. + +16. (1789-90) MR. FAIRLY'S MARRIAGE: THE HASTINGS TRIAL--334-365 + +Rumours of Mr. Fairly's impending Marriage--A Royal Visit to the +Theatre: jammed in the Crowd--In the Manager's Box--Mr. Fairly's +Marriage imminent--Court Duties discussed--Mr. Fairly's Strange +Wedding--Renewal of the Hastings Trial: A Political Impromptu--An +Illbred Earl of Chesterfield--Miss Burney in a New Capacity--The +long-forgotten Tragedy: Miss Burnei again as Reader--Colonel +Manners in his Senatorial Capacity--A Conversation with Mr. +Windham at the Hastings Trial--A Glimpse of Mrs. Piozzi--Captain +Burney wants a Ship to go to Court--Captain Burney and Mr. +Windham--Mr. Windham speaks on a Legal Point--An Emphatic +Peroration-An Aptitude for Logic and for Greek--More Talk with +Mr. Windham. + + +Page viii + +17. (1790-1) MISS BURNEY RESIGNS HER PLACE AT COURT--366-409 + +A Melancholy Confession--Captain Burney's Laconic Letter and +Interview--Burke's Speech on the French Revolution--An Awkward +Meeting--A New Visit from Mrs. Fairly--One Tragedy Finished and +Another Commenced--Miss Burney's Resignation Memorial--Mr. +Windham Intervenes--An Amusing Interview with Mr. Boswell--Ill, +Unsettled, and Unhappy--A Medical Opinion on Miss Burney's +Condition--Miss Burney breaks the Matter to the Queen--The +Memorial and Explanatory Note--The Keeper of the Robes' +Consternation--Leave of Absence is Suggested--A Royal Gift to the +Master of the Horse--Conferences with the Queen--Miss Burney +determines on Seclusion--The Hastings Trial Resumed: The Accused +makes his Defence--Mr. Windham is Congratulated on his Silence-- +Miss Burney makes her Report--Prince William insists on the +King's Health being Drunk--The Queen's Health--The Procession to +the Ball-room: Absence of the Princes--Boswell's Life of +johnson--The Close of Miss Burney's Court Duties--Miss Burney's +Successor: A Pension from the Queen--Leavetakings--Farewell to +Kew--The Final Parting. + +18. (1791-2) REGAINED LIBERTY--410-468 + +Released from Duty--A Western journey: Farnham Castle--A Party of +French Fugitives--Winchester Cathedral--Stonehenge, Wilton, and +Milton Abbey--Lyme and Sidmouth--Sidmouth Loyalty--Powderham +Castle and Collumpton Church--Glastonbury Abbey--Wells +Cathedral--Bath Revisited--A Visit from Lady Spencer--Bath Sunday +Schools--Georgiana, Duchess of Devonshire--Bishop Percy--The +Duchess of Devonshire again--Dr. Burney's Conversation with Mr. +Burke: Remarks by Miss Burney--Literary Recreation--Sir Joshua +Reynoldsls Blindness--Among Old Friends--A Summons from the +Queen--Mr. Hastings's Defence--Diverse Views--Mr. Law's Speech +Discussed--Mr. Windham on the French National Assembly--"A +Barbarous Business!"--Death of Sir Joshua Reynolds--Mr. Windham +twitted on his Lack of Compassion--A Point of Ceremonial--Mrs. +Schwellenberg and Mlle. Jacobi--A Long Talk with the King and +Queen--Madame de Genlis: a Woeful Change--The Weeping Beauty +Again--Madame de la Fite and Mrs. Hastings--The Impetuous Orator- +-Mimicry of Dr. Johnson--The King's Birthday--Mr. Hastings's +Speech--A Well-preserved Beauty--The Burkes--Burke's +Conversational Powers--A Wild Irish Girl--Erskine's Egotism-- +Caen-wood---An Adventure with Mrs. Crewe--An Invitation from +Arthur Young. + + + + + SECTION 10. + (1787) + + COURT DUTIES AT ST. JAMES'S AND WINDSOR. + +THE QUEEN'S BIRTHDAY DRAWING ROOM. + +January. Go back to the 16th, when I went to town, accompanied +only by Mr. de Luc. I saw my dear father the next morning, who +gave me a poem on the queen's birthday, to present. It was very +pretty; but I felt very awkward in offering it to her, as it was +from so near a relation, and without any particular reason or +motive. Mr. Smelt came and stayed with me almost all the +morning, and soothed and solaced me by his charming converse. +The rest of the day was devoted to milliners, mantua-makers, and +such artificers, and you may easily conjecture how great must be +my fatigue. Nevertheless, when, in the midst of these wasteful +toils, the Princess Augusta entered my room, and asked me, from +the queen, if I should wish to see the ball the next day, I +preferred running the risk of that new fatigue, to declining an +honour so offered: especially as the Princess Augusta was herself +to open the ball. + +A chance question this night from the queen, whom I now again +attended as usual, fortunately relieved me from my embarrassment +about the poem. She inquired of me if my father was still +writing? "A little," I answered, and the next morning, Thursday, +the 18th, when the birth-day was kept, I found her all sweetness +and serenity; mumbled out my own little compliment, which she +received as graciously as if she had understood and heard it; and +then, + +Page 10 + +when she was dressed, I followed her through the great rooms, to +get rid of the wardrobe woman, and there taking the poem from my +pocket, I said "I told your majesty that my father had written a +little!--and here--the little is!" + +She took it from me with a smile and a curtsey, and I ran off. +She never has named it since; but she has spoken of my father +with much sweetness and complacency. The modest dignity of the +queen, upon all subjects of panegyric, is truly royal and noble. + +I had now, a second time, the ceremony of being entirely new +dressed. I then went to St. James's, where the queen gave a very +gracious approbation of my gewgaws, and called upon the king to +bestow the same; which his constant goodhumour makes a matter of +great ease to him. + +The queen's dress, being for her own birthday, was extremely +simple, the style of dress considered. The king was quite +superb, and the Princesses Augusta and Elizabeth were ornamented +with much brilliancy. + +Not only the princess royal was missed at this exhibition, but +also the Prince of Wales. He wrote, however, his congratulations +to the queen, though the coldness then subsisting between him and +his majesty occasioned his absence from Court. I fear it was +severely felt by his royal mother, though she appeared composed +and content. + +The two princesses spoke very kind words, also, about my frippery +on this festival; and Princess Augusta laid her positive commands +upon me that I should change my gown before I went to the lord +chamberlain's box, where only my head could be seen. The counsel +proved as useful as the consideration was amiable. + +When the queen was attired, the Duchess of Ancaster was admitted +to the dressing room, where she stayed, in conversation with +their majesties and the princesses, till it was time to summon +the bed-chamber women. During this, I had the office of holding +the queen's train. I knew, for me, it was a great honour, yet it +made me feel, once more, so like a mute upon the stage, that I +could scarce believe myself only performing my own real +character. + +Mrs. Stainforth and I had some time to stand upon the stairs +before the opening of the doors. We joined Mrs. Fielding and her +daughters, and all entered together, but the crowd parted us - +they all ran on, and got in as they could, and I +Page 11 + +remained alone by the door. They soon found me out, and made +signs to me, which I saw not, and then they sent me messages that +they had kept room for me just by them. I had received orders +from the queen to go out at the end of the second country dance ; +I thought, therefore, that as I now was seated by the door, I had +better be content, and stay where I could make my exit in a +moment, and without trouble or disturbance. A queer-looking old +lady sat next me, and I spoke to her now and then, by way of +seeming to belong to somebody. She did not appear to know +whether it were advisable for her to answer me or not, seeing me +alone, and with high head ornaments; but as I had no plan but to +save appearances to the surrounders, I was perfectly satisfied +that my very concise propositions should meet with yet more +laconic replies. + +Before we parted, however, finding me quiet and inoffensive, she +became voluntarily sociable, and I felt so much at home, by being +still in a part of the palace, that I needed nothing further than +just so much notice as not to seem an object to be avoided. + +The sight which called me to that spot perfectly answered all my +expectations: the air, manner, and countenance of the queen, as +she goes round the circle, are truly graceful and engaging: I +thought I could understand, by the motion of her lips, and the +expression of her face, even at the height and distance of the +chamberlain's box, the gracious and pleasant speeches she made to +all whom she approached. With my glass, you know, I can see just +as other people see with the naked eye. + +The princesses looked extremely lovely, and the whole Court was +in the utmost splendour. + + + A SERIOUS DILEMMA. + +At the appointed moment I slipped through the door, leaving my +old lady utterly astonished at my sudden departure, and I passed, +alone and quietly, to Mr. Rhamus's apartment, which was +appropriated for the company to wait in. Here I desired a +servant I met with to call my man: he was not to be found. I +went down the stairs, and made them call him aloud, by my name; +all to no purpose. Then the chairmen were called, but called +also in vain! + +What to do I knew not ; though I was still in a part of the +Page 12 + +palace, it was separated by many courts, avenues, passages, and +alleys, from the queen's or my own apartments- and though I had +so lately passed them, I could not remember the way, nor at that +late hour could I have walked, dressed as I then was, and the +ground wet with recent rain, even if I had had a servant: I had +therefore ordered the chair allotted me for these days; but chair +and chairmen and footmen were alike out of the way. + +My fright lest the queen should wait for me was very serious. I +believe there are state apartments through which she passes, and +therefore I had no chance to know when she retired from the +ball-room. Yet could I not stir, and was forced to return to the +room whence I came, in order to wait for John, that I might be +out of the way of the cold winds which infested the hall. + +I now found a young clergyman, standing by the fire. I suppose +my anxiety was visible, for he instantly inquired if he could +assist me. I declined his offer, but walked up and down, making +frequent questions about my chair and John. + +He then very civilly said, "You seem distressed, ma'am; would you +permit me the honour to see for your chair, or, if it is not +come, as you seem hurried, would you trust me to see you home?" + +I thanked him, but could not accept his services. He was sorry, +he said, that I refused him, but could not wonder, as he was a +stranger. I made some apologising answer, and remained in that +unpleasant situation till, at length, a hackneychair was procured +me. My new acquaintance would take no denial to handing me to +the chair. When I got in, I told the men to carry me to the +palace. + +"We are there now!" cried they; "what part of the palace?" + +I was now in a distress the most extraordinary : I really knew +not my own direction! I had always gone to my apartment in a +chair, and had been carried by chairmen officially appointed; +and, except that it was in St. James's palace, I knew nothing of +my own situation. + +"Near the park," I told them, and saw my new esquire look utterly +amazed at me. + +"Ma'am," said he, " half the palace is in the park." + +"I don't know how to direct," cried I, in the greatest +embarrassment, "but it is somewhere between Pall Mall and the +park." +Page 13 + +"I know where the lady lives well enough," cried one of the +chairmen, "'tis in St. James's street." + +"No, no," cried I, "'tis in St. James's palace." + +"Up with the chair!" cried the other man, "I know best--'tis in +South Audley-street; I know the lady well enough." + +Think what a situation at the moment! I found they had both been +drinking the queen's health till they knew not what they said and +could with difficulty stand. Yet they lifted me up, and though I +called in the most terrible fright to be let out, they carried me +down the steps. + +I now actually screamed for help, believing they would carry me +off to South Audley-street; and now my good genius, who had +waited patiently in the crowd, forcibly stopped the chairmen, who +abused him violently, and opened the door himself, and I ran back +to the hall. + +You may imagine how earnestly I returned my thanks for this most +seasonable assistance, without which I should almost have died +with terror, for where they might have taken or dropped me, or +how or where left me, who could say? + +He begged me to go again upstairs, but my apprehension about the +queen prevented me. I knew she was to have nobody but me, and +that her jewels, though few, were to be intrusted back to the +queen's house to no other hands. I must, I said, go, be it in +what manner it might. All I could devise was to summon Mr. +Rhamus, the page. I had never seen him, but my attendance upon +the queen would be an apology for the application, and I +determined to put myself under his immediate protection. + +Mr. Rhamus was nowhere to be found ; he was already supposed to +be gone to the queen's house, to wait the arrival of his majesty. +This news redoubled my fear; and now my new acquaintance desired +me to employ him in making inquiries for me as to the direction I +wanted. + +It was almost ridiculous, in the midst of my distress, to be thus +at a loss for an address to myself! I felt averse to speaking my +name amongst so many listeners, and only told him he would much +oblige me by finding out a direction to Mrs. Haggerdorn's rooms. +He went upstairs ; and returning, said he could now direct the +chairmen, if I did not fear trusting them. + +I did fear--I even shook with fear; yet my horror of +disappointing the queen upon such a night prevailed over all my +reluctance, and I ventured once more into the chair, thanking +this excellent Samaritan, and begging him to give the direction +very particularly. + +Page 14 + +Imagine, however, my gratitude and my relief, when, instead of +hearing the direction, I heard only these words, " Follow me." +And then did this truly benevolent young man himself play the +footman, in walking by the side of the chair till we came to an +alley, when he bid them turn; but they answered him with an oath, +and ran on with me, till the poles ran against a wall, for they +had entered a passage in which there was no outlet! I would fain +have got out, but they would not hear me; they would only pull +the chair back, and go on another way. But my guardian angel +told them to follow him, or not, at their peril ; and then walked +before the chair. + +We next came to a court where we were stopped by the sentinels. +They said they had orders not to admit any hackney chairs. The +chairmen vowed they would make way; I called out aloud to be set +down; the sentinels said they would run their bayonets through +the first man that attempted to dispute their orders. I then +screamed out again to be set down, and my new and good friend +peremptorily forced them to stop, and opening the door with +violence, offered me his arm, saying, "You had better trust +yourself with me, ma'am!" + +Most thankfully I now accepted what so fruitlessly I had +declined, and I held by his arm, and we walked on together, but +neither of us knew whither, nor the right way from the wrong 1 It +was really a terrible situation. + +The chairmen followed us, clamorous for money, and full of abuse. +They demanded half a crown - my companion refused to listen to +such an imposition : my shaking hand could find no purse, and I +begged him to pay them what they asked, that they might leave us. +He did ; and when they were gone, I shook less, and was able to +pay that one part of the debt I was now contracting. + +We wandered about, heaven knows where, in a way the most alarming +and horrible to myself imaginable: for I never knew where I +was.--It was midnight. I concluded the queen waiting for me.--It +was wet. My head was full dressed. I was under the care of a +total stranger; and I knew not which side to take, wherever we +came. Inquiries were vain. The sentinels alone were in sight, +and they are so continually changed that they knew no more of +Mrs. Haggerdorn than if she had never resided here. + +At length I spied a door open, and I begged to enter it at a +venture, for information. Fortunately a person stood in the +passage who instantly spoke to me by my name; I never + +Page 15 + +heard that sound with more glee: to me he was a stranger, but I +suppose he had seen me in some of the apartments. I begged him +to direct me straight to the queen's rooms: he did ; and I then +took leave of my most humane new friend, with a thousand +acknowledgments for his benevolence and services. + +Was it not a strange business ? I can never say what an agony Of +fright it cost me at the time, nor ever be sufficiently grateful +for the kind assistance, so providentially afforded me.' + + +COUNSELS OF A COURT OFFICIAL. + +The general directions and counsel of Mr. Smelt, which I have +scrupulously observed ever since, were, in abridgment, these:- + +That I should see nobody at all but by appointment. This, as he +well said, would obviate, not only numerous personal +inconveniences to myself, but prevent alike surprises from those +I had no leave to admit, and repetitions of visits from others +who might inadvertently come too often. He advised me to tell +this to my father, and beg it might be spread, as a settled part +of my situation, among all who inquired for me. + +That I should see no fresh person whatsoever without an immediate +permission from the queen, nor any party, even amongst those +already authorised, without apprising her of such a plan. + +That I should never go out without an immediate application to +her, so that no possible inquiry for me might occasion surprise +or disappointment. + +These, and other similar ties, perhaps, had my spirits been +better, I might less readily have acceded to : as it was, I would +have bound myself to as many more. + +At length, however, even then, I was startled when Mr. Smelt, +with some earnestness, said, "And, with respect to your parties, +such as you may occasionally have here, you have but one rule for +keeping all things smooth, and all partisans unoffended, at a +distance--which is, to have no men--none! + +I stared a little, and made no answer. + +"Yes," cried he, "Mr. Locke may be admitted; but him only. Your +father, you know, is of course." + +Still I was silent: after a pause of some length, he plumply Yet +with an evidently affected unmeaningness, said, "Mr. Cambridge-- +as to Mr. Cambridge--" + +I stopped him short at once; I dared not trust to what + +Page 16 + +might follow, and eagerly called Out, "Mr. Cambridge, Sir, I +cannot exclude! So much friendship and kindness I owe, and have +long owed him, that he would go about howling at my ingratitude, +could I seem so suddenly to forget it!" + +My impetuosity in uttering this surprised, but silenced him; he +said not a word more, nor did I. + + + MR. TURBULENT's ANXIETY TO INTRODUCE MR. WELLBRED. +Windsor, Sunday, Jan. 28.-I was too ill to go to church. I was +now, indeed, rarely well enough for anything but absolute and +unavoidable duties ; and those were still painfully and forcibly +performed. + +I had only Miss Planta for my guest, and when she went to the +princesses I retired for a quiet and solitary evening to my own +room. But here, while reading, I was interrupted by a tat-tat at +my door. I opened it and saw Mr. Turbulent. . . . He came +forward, and began a gay and animated conversation, with a flow +of spirits and good humour which I had never observed in him +before. + +His darling colonel(230) was the subject that he still harped +upon; but it was only with a civil and amusing raillery, not, as +before, with an overpowering vehemence to conquer. Probably, +however, the change in myself might be as observable as in him,-- +since I now ceased to look upon him with that distance and +coldness which hitherto he had uniformly found in me. + +I must give you a little specimen of him in this new dress. + +After some general talk, + +"When, ma'am," he said, "am I to have the honour of introducing +Colonel Wellbred to you?" + +"Indeed, I have not settled that entirely!" + +"Reflect a little, then, ma'am, and tell me. I only wish to know +when." + +"Indeed to tell you that is somewhat more than I am able to do; I +must find it out myself, first." + +" Well, ma'am, make the inquiry as speedily as possible, I beg. +What say you to now? shall I call him up? + +"No, no,--pray let him alone." + +"But will you not, at least, tell me your reasons for this +conduct?" + +Page 17 + +"Why, frankly, then, if you will hear them and be quiet, I will +confess them." + +I then told him, that I had so little time to myself, that to +gain even a single evening was to gain a treasure; and that I had +no chance but this. "Not," said I, "that I wish to avoid him, +but to break the custom of constantly meeting with the +equerries." + +"But it is impossible to break the custom, ma'am; it has been so +always: the tea-table has been the time of uniting the company, +ever since the king came to Windsor." + +" Well, but everything now is upon a new construction. I am not +positively bound to do everything Mrs. Haggerdorn did, and his +having drank tea with her will not make him conclude he must also +drink tea with me." + +No, no, that is true, I allow. Nothing that belonged to her can +bring conclusions round to you. But still, why begin with +Colonel Wellbred? You did not treat Colonel Goldsworthy so?" + +"I had not the power of beginning with him. I did what I could, +I assure you." + +"Major Price, ma'am?--I never heard you avoided him." + +"No; but I knew him before I came, and he knew much of my family, +and indeed I am truly sorry that I shall now see no more of him. +But Colonel Wellbred and I are mutually strangers." + +"All people are so at first, every acquaintance must have a +beginning." + +"But this, if you are quiet, we are most willing should have +none." + +"Not he, ma'am--he is not so willing; he wishes to come. He +asked me, to-day, if I had spoke about it." + +I disclaimed believing this; but he persisted in asserting it, +adding "For he said if I had spoke he would come." + +"He is very condescending," cried I, "but I am satisfied he would +not think of it at all, if you did not put it in his head." + +"Upon my honour, You are mistaken; we talk just as much of it +down there as up here." + +"you would much oblige me if you would not talk of it,- neither +there nor here." + +"Let me end it, then, by bringing him at once!" + +"No, no, leave us both alone: he has his resources and his +engagements as much as I have; we both are best as we now are." + +Page 18 + +"But what can he say, ma'am? Consider his confusion and disgrace! + It is well known, in the world, the private life that the royal +family live at Windsor, and who are the attendants that belong to +them; and when Colonel Wellbred quits his waiting--three months' +waiting and is asked how he likes Miss Burney, he must answer he +has never seen her! And what, ma'am, has Colonel Wellbred done to +merit such a mortification?" + +It was impossible not to laugh at such a statement of the case; +and again he requested to bring him directly. "One quarter of an +hour will content me ; I only wish to introduce him--for the sake +of his credit in the world; and when once you have met, you need +meet no more; no consequences whatever need be drawn to the +detriment of your solitude." + +I begged him to desist, and let us both rest. + +"But have you, yourself, ma'am, no curiosity--no desire to see +Colonel Wellbred?" + +"None in the world." + +"If, then, hereafter you admit any other equerry--" + +"No, no, I intend to carry the new construction throughout." + +"Or if you suffer anyone else to bring you Colonel Wellbred." + +"Depend upon it I have no such intention." + +"But if any other more eloquent man prevails--" + +" Be assured there is no danger." + +"Will you, at least, promise I shall be present at the meet--?" + +" There will be no meeting." + +"You are certainly, then, afraid of him?" + +I denied this, and, hearing the king's supper called, he took his +leave ; though not before I very seriously told him that, however +amusing all this might be as pure badinage, I Should +be very earnestly vexed if he took any steps in the matter +without my consent. + + + +COLONEL WELLBRED IS RECEIVED AT TEA. + +Feb. 2.-MISS Planta came to tea, and we went together to the +eating-parlour, which we found quite empty. Mr. Turbulent's +studious table was all deserted, and his books laid waste; but in +a very few minutes he entered again, with his arms spread wide, +his face all glee, and his voice all triumph, calling out, + +Page 19 + +"Mr. Smelt and Colonel Wellbred desire leave to wait upon miss +Burney to tea!" + +A little provoked at this determined victory over my will and my +wish, I remained silent,- but Miss Planta broke forth into open +upbraidings: + +"Upon my word, Mr. Turbulent, this is really abominable it is all +your own doing--and if I was Miss Burney I would not bear it!" +and much more, till he fairly gave her to understand she had +nothing to do with the matter. + +Then, turning to me, "What am I to say, ma'am? am I to tell +Colonel Wellbred you hesitate?" He protested he came upon the +embassy fairly employed. + +"Not fairly, I am sure, Mr. Turbulent The whole is a device and +contrivance of your own! Colonel Wellbred would have been as +quiet as myself, had you left him alone." + +"Don't throw it all upon me, ma'am; 'tis Mr. Smelt. But what are +they to think of this delay? are they to suppose it requires +deliberation whether or not you can admit a gentleman to your +tea-table?" + +I begged him to tell me, at least, how it had passed, and in what +manner he had brought his scheme about. But he would give me no +satisfaction; he only said "You refuse to receive him, ma'am?-- +shall I go and tell him you refuse to receive him?" + +"O No, + +This was enough -. he waited no fuller consent, but ran off. +Miss Planta began a good-natured repining for me. I determined +to fetch some work before they arrived; and in coming for it to +my own room, I saw Mr. Turbulent, not yet gone downstairs. I +really believe, by the strong marks of laughter on his +countenance, that he had stopped to compose himself before he +could venture to appear in the equerryroom! + +I looked at him reproachfully, and passed on; he shook his head +at me in return, and hied downstairs. I had but just time to +rejoin Miss Planta when he led the way to the two Other +gentlemen: entering first, with the most earnest curiosity, to +watch the scene. Mr. Smelt followed, introducing the colonel. + +I could almost have laughed, so ridiculous had the behaviour of +Mr. Turbulent, joined to his presence and watchfulness, rendered +this meeting; and I saw in Colonel Wellbred the most evident +marks of similar sensations: for he coloured + +Page 20 + +violently on his entrance, and seemed in an embarrassment that, +to any one who knew not the previous tricks of Mr. Turbulent, +must have appeared really distressing. And, in truth, Mr. Smelt +himself, little imagining what had preceded the interview, was so +much struck with his manner and looks, that he conceived him to +be afraid of poor little me, and observed, afterwards, with what +"blushing diffidence" he had begun the acquaintance! + +I, who saw the true cause through the effect, felt more provoked +than ever with Mr. Turbulent, since I was now quite satisfied he +had been as busy with the colonel about me, as with me about the +colonel. + +He is tall, his figure is very elegant, and his face very +handsome: he is sensible, well-bred, modest, and intelligent. I +had always been told he was very amiable and accomplished, and +the whole of his appearance confirmed the report. + +The discourse was almost all Mr. Smelt's, the colonel was silent +and reserved, and Mr. Turbulent had resolved to be a mere +watchman. The king entered early and stayed late, and took away +with him, on retiring, all the gentlemen. + +Feb. 3.-As the tea hour approached, to-day, Mr. Turbulent grew +very restless. I saw what was passing in his mind, and therefore +forbore ordering tea; but presently, and suddenly, as if from +some instant impulse, he gravely came up to me, and said + +"Shall I go and call the colonel, ma'am?" + +"No, sir!" was my johnsonian reply. + +"What, ma'am!--won't you give him a little tea?" +"No, no, no!--I beg you will be at rest!" + +He shrugged his shoulders, and walked away; and Mr. Smelt, +smiling, said, "Will you give us any?" + +"O yes, surely cried I, and was going away to ring for the man. + +I believe I have already mentioned that I had no bell at all, +except in my bedroom, and that only for my maid, whom I was +obliged to summon first, like Smart's monkey-- + +"Here, Betty!--Nan!-- +Go, call the maid, to call the man!" + +For Mrs. Haggerdorn had done without, twenty-six years, by always +keeping her servant in waiting at the door. I could never endure +inflicting such a hardship, and therefore had always to run to my +bedroom, and wait the progress of the maid's arrival, and then of +her search of the man, ere ever + +Page 21 + +I could give him an order. A mighty tiresome and inconvenient +ceremony. Mr Turbulent insisted upon saving me this trouble, and +went 'out himself to speak to John. But you will believe me a +little amazed, when, in a very few minutes, he returned again, +accompanied by his colonel! My surprise brought the colour both +into my own cheeks and those of my guests. Mr. Smelt looked +pleased; and Mr. Turbulent, though I saw he was half afraid of +what he was doing, could by no means restrain a most exulting +smile, which was constantly in play during the whole evening. + +Mr. Smelt instantly opened a conversation, with an ease and good +breeding which drew every one into sharing it. The colonel was +far less reserved and silent, and I found him very pleasing, very +unassuming, extremely attentive, and sensible and obliging. The +moment, however, that we mutually joined in the discourse, Mr. +Turbulent came to my side, and seating himself there, whispered +that he begged my pardon for the step he had taken. I made him +no answer, but talked on with the colonel and Mr. Smelt. He. +then whispered me again, "I am now certain of your forgiveness, +since I see your approbation!" And when still +I said nothing, he interrupted every speech to the colonel with +another little whisper, saying that his end was obtained, and he +was now quite happy, since he saw he had obliged me! + +At length he proceeded so far, with so positive a determination +to be answered, that he absolutely compelled me to say I forgave +him, lest he should go on till the colonel heard him. + + + + ECCENTRIC MR. BRYANT. + +Feb. 9-This morning, soon after my breakfast, the princess royal +came to fetch me to the queen. She talked of Mrs. Delany all the +way, and in terms of affection that can never fail to raise her +in the minds of all who hear her. The queen was alone; and told +me she had been so much struck with the Duke of Suffolk's letter +to his son, in the Paston collection,(231) + + Page 22 + +that she wished to hear my opinion of it. She then condescended +to read it to me. It is indeed both instructive and interesting. +She was so gracious, when she dismissed me, as to lend me the +book, desiring me to have it sent back to her apartment when I +went to dinner. + +I had invited Mr. Bryant to dinner. He came an hour before, and +I could not read "Paston," but rejoiced the more in his living +intelligence. We talked upon the "Jew's Letters," +which he had lent me. Have I mentioned them? They are a +mighty well written defence of the Mosaic law and mission, +and as orthodox for Christians as for Jews, with regard to their +main tenor, which is to refute the infidel doctrine of Voltaire +up to the time of our Saviour. + +Before our dinner we were joined by 'Mr. Smelt ; and the +conversation was then very good. The same subject was continued, +except where it was interrupted by Mr. Bryant's speaking of his +own works, which was very frequently, and with a droll sort of +simplicity that had a mixture of nature and of humour extremely +amusing. He told us, very frankly his manner of writing; he +confessed that what he first committed to paper seldom +could be printed without variation or correction, even to a +single line: he copied everything over, he said, himself, and +three transcribings were the fewest he could ever make do; but, +generally, nothing went from him to the press under seven. + +Mr. Turbulent and Miss Planta came to dinner, and it was very +cheerful. Ere it was over John told me somebody wanted me. I +desired they might be shewn to my room till the things were +removed; but, as these were some time taking away, I called John +to let me know who it was. "The princess royal, ma'am," was his +answer, with perfect ease. + +Up I started, ashamed and eager, and flew to her royal highness +instantly : and I found her calmly and quietly waiting, shut up +in my room, without any candles, and almost wholly in the dark, +except from the light of the fire! I made all +possible apologies, and doubled and trebled them upon her +Smilingly saying "I would not let them tell you who it was, nor +hurry you, for I know 'tis so disagreeable to be called +Page 23 + +away in the middle of dinner." And then, to reconcile me to the +little accident, she took hold of both my hands. + +She came to me from the queen, about the "Paston Letters," which +John had not carried to the right page. + +Very soon after came the king, who entered into a gay +disquisition with Mr. Bryant upon his school achievements to +which he answered with a readiness and simplicity highly +entertaining. + +"You are an Etonian, Mr. Bryant," said the king, "but pray, for +what were you most famous at school?" + +We all expected, from the celebrity of his scholarship, to hear +him answer his Latin Exercises but no such thing. + +"Cudgelling, Sir. I was most famous for that." + +While a general laugh followed this speech, he very gravely +proceeded to particularize his feats though unless you could see +the diminutive figure, the weak, thin, feeble, little frame, +whence issued the proclamation of his prowess, you can but very +Inadequately judge the comic effect of his big talk. + +"Your majesty, sir, knows General Conway? I broke his head for +him, sir." + +The shout which ensued did not at all interfere with the +steadiness of his further detail. + +"And there's another man, Sir, a great stout fellow, Sir, as ever +you saw--Dr. Gibbon, of the Temple: I broke his head too, sir.--I +don't know if he remembers it." + +The king, afterwards, inquired after his present family, meaning +his dogs, which he is famed for breeding and preserving. + +"Why, sir," he answered, "I have now only twelve. Once, I +recollect, when your majesty was so gracious as to ask me about +them, I happened to have twenty-two; and so I told you, sir. +Upon my word, Sir, it made me very uneasy afterwards when I came +to reflect upon it: I was afraid your majesty might think I +presumed to joke!" + +The king then asked him for some account of the Marlborough +family, with which he is very particularly connected and desired +to know which among the young Lady Spencers was his favourite. + +"Upon my word, sir, I like them all! Lady Elizabeth is a charming +young lady--I believe, Sir, I am most in her favour; I don't know +why, Sir. But I happened to write a letter to the duke, sir, +that she took a fancy to; I don't know the reason, sir, but she +begged it. I don't know what was in the letter, + +Page 24 + +sir-I could never find out; but she took a prodigious fancy to +it, sir." + +The king laughed heartily, and supposed there might be some +compliments to herself in it. + +"Upon my word' sir," cried he, "I am afraid your majesty will +think I was in love with her! but indeed, sir, I don't know what +was in the letter." + +The converse went on in the same style, and the king was so much +entertained by Mr. Bryant, that he stayed almost the whole +evening, + + + MR TURBULENT IN A NEW CHARACTER. + +Friday, Feb. 16.-The instant I was left alone with Mr. Turbulent +he demanded to know my "project for his happiness;" and he made +his claim in a tone so determined, that I saw it would be +fruitless to attempt evasion or delay. + +"Your captivity, then, sir," cried I-"for such I must call your +regarding your attendance to be indispensable is at an end: the +equerry-coach is now wholly in your power. I have spoken myself +upon the subject to the queen, as you bid--at least, braved me to +do; and I have now her consent to discharging you from all +necessity of travelling in our coach."(232) + +He looked extremely provoked, and asked if I really meant to +inform him I did not choose his company? I laughed the question +off, and used a world of civil argument to persuade him I had +only done him a good office: but I was fain to make the whole +debate as sportive as possible, as I saw him disposed to be +seriously affronted. + +A long debate ensued. I had been, he protested, excessively +ill-natured to him. "What an impression," cried he, "must this +make upon the queen! After travelling, with apparent content, six +years With that oyster Mrs. Haggerdorn--now--now that travelling +is become really agreeable--in that coach --I am to be turned out +of it! How must it disgrace me in her opinion!" + +She was too partial, I said, to "that oyster," to look upon the +matter in such a degrading light nor would she think of it + +Page 25 + +at all, but as an accidental matter. I then added, that the +reason that he had hitherto been destined to the female coach +was, that Mrs. Schwellenberg and Mrs. Haggerdorn were always +afraid of travelling by themselves; but that as I had more +courage, there was no need of such slavery. + +"Slavery!"--repeated he, with an emphasis that almost startled +me,--"Slavery is pleasure--is happiness--when directed by our +wishes!" + +And then, with a sudden motion that made me quite jump, he cast +himself at my feet, on both his knees-- + +"Your slave," he cried, "I am content to be! your slave I am +ready to live and die!" + +I begged him to rise, and be a little less rhapsodic. "I have +emancipated you," I cried; "do not, therefore, throw away the +freedom you have been six years sighing to obtain. You are now +your own agent--a volunteer--" + +"If I am," cried he, impetuously, "I dedicate myself to you!--A +volunteer, ma'am, remember that! I dedicate myself to you, +therefore, of my own accord, for every journey! You shall not +get rid of me these twenty years." + +I tried to get myself away-but he would not let me move and he +began, with still increasing violence of manner, a most fervent +protestation that he would not be set aside, and that he devoted +himself to me entirely. And, to say the simple truth, ridiculous +as all this was, I really began to grow a little frightened by +his vehemence and his posture - till, at last, in the midst of an +almost furious vow, in which he dedicated himself to me for ever, +he relieved me, by suddenly calling upon Jupiter, Juno, Mars, and +Hercules, and every god, and every goddess, to witness his oath. +And then, content with his sublimity, he arose. + +Was it not a curious scene? and have I not a curious fellow +traveller for my little journeys? +Monday, Feb. 19.-This morning I Proposed to my fellow travellers +that we should begin our journey on foot. The wonderment with +which they heard a proposal so new was diverting : but they all +agreed to it; and though they declared that my predecessor, Mrs. +Haggerdorn, would have thought the person fit for Bedlam who +should have suggested such plan, no one could find any real +objection, and off we set, ordering the coach to proceed slowly +after us. + +The weather was delightful, and the enterprise served to shorten +and enliven the expedition, and pleased them all, +Page 26 + +Mr. Turbulent began, almost immediately, an attack about his +colonel : upon quite a new ground, yet as restless and earnest as +upon the old one. He now reproached my attention to him, +protesting I talked to him continually, and spun out into an +hour's discourse what might have been said in three minutes. + +"And was it my spinning?" I could not forbear saying. + +"Yes, ma'am: for you might have dropped it." + +"How?--by not answering when spoken to?" + +"by not talking to him, ma'am, more than to any one else." + +"And pray, Mr. Turbulent, solve me, then, this difficulty; what +choice has a poor female with whom she may converse? Must she +not, in company as in dancing, take up with those Who choose to +take up with her?" + +He was staggered by this question, and while he wavered how to +answer it, I pursued my little advantage-- + +"No man, Mr. Turbulent, has any cause to be flattered that a +woman talks with him, while it is only in reply; for though he +may come, go, address or neglect, and do as he will,-- she, let +her think and wish what she may, must only follow as he leads." + +He protested, with great warmth, he never heard any thing so +proudly said in Ins life. But I would not retract. + +"And now, ma'am," he continued, "how wondrous intimate you are +grown! After such averseness to a meeting--such struggles to +avoid him; what am I to think of the sincerity of that pretended +reluctance?" + +"You must think the truth," said I, "that it was not the colonel, +but the equerry, I wished to avoid; that it was not the +individual, but the official necessity of receiving company, that +I wished to escape." + + + BANTERING A PRINCESS. + +March 1.- With all the various humours in which I had already +seen Mr. Turbulent, he gave me this evening a surprise, by his +behaviour to one of the princesses, nearly the same that I had +experienced from him myself. The Princess Augusta came, during +coffee, for a knotting shuttle of the queen's. While she was +speaking to me, he stood behind and exclaimed, `a demi voix, as +if to himself, "Comme elle est jolie ce soir, son Altesse +Royale!" And then, seeing her blush extremely, he clasped his +hands, in high pretended confusion, + + +Page 27 + +and hiding his head, called Out, "Que ferai-je? The princess has +heard me!" + +"Pray, Mr. Turbulent," cried she, hastily, "what play are you to +read to-night?" + +"You shall choose, ma'am; either 'La Coquette corrigée,' or--" +[he named another I have forgotten.] + +"O no!" cried she, "that last is shocking! don't let me hear +that!" + +"I understand you, ma'am. You fix, then, upon 'La Coquette?' +'La Coquette' is your royal highness's taste?" + +"No, indeed, I am sure I did not say that." + +"Yes, ma'am, by implication. And certainly, therefore, I will +read it, to please your royal highness!" + +"No, pray don't; for I like none of them." + +"None of them, ma'am?" + +"No, none;--no French plays at all!" And away she was running, +with a droll air, that acknowledged she had said something to +provoke him. + +"This is a declaration, ma'am, I must beg you to explain!" cried +he, gliding adroitly between the princess and the door, and +shutting it With his back. + +"No, no, I can't explain it;--so pray, Mr. Turbulent, do open the +door." + +"Not for the world, ma'am, with such a stain uncleared upon your +royal highness's taste and feeling!" + +She told him she positively could not stay, and begged him to let +her pass instantly. But he would hear her no more than he has +heard me, protesting he was too much shocked for her, to suffer +her to depart without clearing her own credit! + +He conquered at last, and thus forced to speak, she turned round +to us and said, "Well--if I must, then--I will appeal to these +ladies, who understand such things far better than I do, and ask +them if it is not true about these French plays, that they are +all so like to one another, that to hear them in this manner +every night is enough to tire one?" + +"Pray, then, madam," cried he, "if French plays have the +misfortune to displease you, what national plays have the honour +Of your preference?" + +I saw he meant something that she understood better than me, for +she blushed again, and called out "Pray open the door at once! I +can stay no longer; do let me go, Mr. Turbulent!" +Page 28 + +"Not till you have answered that question, ma'am' what country +has plays to your royal highness's taste?" + +"Miss Burney," cried she impatiently, yet laughing, "pray do you +take him away!--Pull him!" + +He bowed to me very invitingly for the office but I frankly +answered her, "Indeed, ma'am, I dare not undertake him! I cannot +manage him at all." + +"The country! the country! Princess Augusta! name the happy +country!" was all she could gain. + +"Order him away, Miss Burney," cried she. "It is your room: +order him away from the door." + +"Name it, ma'am, name it!" exclaimed he; "name but the chosen +nation!" + +And then, fixing her with the most provoking eyes, "Est-ce la +Danemarc?" he cried. + +She coloured violently, and quite angry with him, called out, +"Mr. Turbulent, how can you be such a fool!" And now I found . . +. the prince royal of Denmark was in his meaning, and in her +understanding! + +He bowed to the ground, in gratitude for the term "fool," but +added with pretended Submission to her will, "Very well, ma'am, +s'il ne faut lire que les comédies Danoises." + +" Do let me go!" cried she, seriously; and then he made way, with +a profound bow as she passed, saying, "Very well, ma'am, 'La +Coquette,' then? your royal highness chooses 'La Coquette +corrigée?'" + +"Corrigée? That never was done!" cried she, with all her sweet +good-humour, the moment she got out - and off she ran, like +lightning, to the queen's apartments. + +What say you to Mr. Turbulent now? + +For my part, I was greatly surprised. I had not imagined any +man, but the king or Prince of Wales, had ever ventured at a +badinage of this sort with any of the princesses; nor do I +suppose any other man ever did. Mr. Turbulent is so great a +favourite with all the royal family that he safely ventures upon +whatever he pleases, and doubtless they find, in his courage and +his rhodomontading, a novelty extremely amusing to them. + + + MR. TURBULENT MEETS WITH A REBUFF. + +March--I must now, rather reluctantly I own, come to recite a +quarrel, a very serious quarrel, in which I have been involved +with my most extraordinary fellow-traveller. One evening at +Windsor Miss Planta left the room, while I was + +Page 29 + +winding some silk. I was content to stay and finish the skein, +though my remaining companion was in a humour too flighty to +induce me to continue with him a moment longer. Indeed I had +avoided pretty successfully all tête-à-têetes with him since the +time when his eccentric genius led to such eccentric conduct in +our long conference in the last month. + +This time, however, when I had done my work, he protested I +should stay and chat with him. I pleaded business--letters-- +hurry--all in vain: he would listen to nothing, and when I tried +to move was so tumultuous in his opposition, that I was obliged +to re-seat myself to appease him. + +A flow of compliments followed, every one of which I liked less +and less; but his spirits seemed uncontrollable, and, I suppose, +ran away with all that ought to check them. I laughed and +rallied as long as I possibly could, and tried to keep him in +order, by not seeming to suppose he wanted aid for that purpose: +yet still, every time I tried to rise, he stopped me, and uttered +at last Such expressions of homage--so like what Shakspeare says +of the school-boy, who makes "a sonnet on his mistress' eyebrow," +which is always his favourite theme--that I told him his real +compliment was all to my temper, in imagining it could brook such +mockery. + +This brought him once more on his knees, with such a volley of +asseverations of his sincerity, uttered with such fervour and +eloquence, that I really felt uneasy, and used every possible +means to get away from him, rallying him however all the time, +and disguising the consciousness I felt of my inability to quit +him. More and more vehement, however, he grew, till I could be +no longer passive, but forcibly rising, protested I would not +stay another minute. But you may easily imagine my astonishment +and provocation, when, hastily rising himself, he violently +seized hold of me, and compelled me to return to my chair, with a +force and a freedom that gave me as much surprise as offence. + +All now became serious. Raillery, good-humour, and even +pretended ease and unconcern, were at an end. The positive +displeasure I felt I made positively known; and the voice +manner, and looks with which I insisted upon an immediate' +release were so changed from what he had ever heard or observed +in me before, that I saw him quite thunderstruck with the +alteration; and all his own violence subsiding, he begged my +pardon with the mildest humility. + +He had made me too angry to grant it, and I only desired + +Page 30 + +him to let me instantly go to my room. He ceased all personal +opposition, but going to the door, planted himself before it, and +said, "Not in wrath! I cannot let you go away in wrath!" + +"You must, sir," cried I, "for I am in wrath!" +He began a thousand apologies, and as many promises of the most +submissive behaviour in future; but I stopped them all, with a +peremptory declaration that every minute he detained me made me +but the more seriously angry. His vehemence now was all changed +into strong alarm, and he opened the door, profoundly bowing, but +not speaking, as I passed him. + +I am sure I need not dwell upon the uncomfortable sensations I +felt, in a check so rude and violent to the gaiety and +entertainment of an acquaintance which had promised me my best +amusement during our winter campaigns. I was now to begin upon +quite a new system, and instead of encouraging, as hitherto I had +done, everything that could lead to vivacity and spirit, I was +fain to determine upon the most distant and even forbidding +demeanour with the only life of our parties, that he might not +again forget himself. + +This disagreeable conduct I put into immediate practice. I +stayed in my own room till I heard every one assembled in the +next : I was then obliged to prepare for joining them, but before +I opened the door a gentle rap at it made me call out "Who's +there?" and Mr. Turbulent looked in. + +I hastily said I was coming instantly, but he advanced softly +into the room, entreating forgiveness at every step. I made no +other answer than desiring he would go, and saying I should +follow. He went back to the door, and, dropping on one knee, +said, "Miss Burney! surely you cannot be seriously angry?-'tis so +impossible you should think I meant to offend you!" + +I said nothing, and did not look near him, but opened the door, +from which he retreated to make way for me, rising a little +mortified, and exclaiming, "Can you then have such real +ill-nature? How little I suspected it in you!" + +"'Tis you," cried I, as I passed on, "that are ill-natured!" + +I meant for forcing me into anger; but I left him to make the +meaning out, and walked into the next room. He did not +immediately follow, and he then appeared so much disconcerted +that I saw Miss Planta incessantly eyeing him, to find out what +was the matter. I assumed an unconcern I did not +Page 31 + +feel for I was really both provoked and sorry, foreseeing what a +breach this folly must make in the comfort of my Windsor +expeditions, + +He sat down a little aloof, and entered into no + conversation all the evening; +but just as tea was over, the hunt of the next being mentioned + he suddenly, asked Miss Planta to request leave for him of the +queen to ride out with the party. + +"I shall not see the queen," cried she; "you had much better ask +Miss Burney." + +This was very awkward. I was in no humour to act for him at this +time, nor could he muster courage to desire it; but upon Miss +Planta's looking at each of us with some surprise, and repeating +her amendment to his proposal, he faintly said, "Would Miss +Burney be so good as to take that trouble?" + +An opportunity offering favourably, I spoke at night to the +queen, and she gave leave for his attending the chase. I +intended to send this permission to Miss Planta, but I had scarce +returned to my own room from her majesty, before a rap at my door +was followed by his appearance. He stood quite aloof, +looking grave and contrite. I Immediately called out "I have +spoken, sir, to the queen, and you have her leave to go." +He bowed very profoundly, and thanked me, and was retreating, but +came back again, and advancing, assumed an air of less humility, +and exclaimed, "Allons donc, Mademoiselle, j'espère que vous +n'êtes plus si méchante qu'hier au soir!" + +I said nothing; he came nearer, and, bowing upon his own hand, +held it out for mine, with a look of most respectful +Supplication. I had no intention of cutting the matter so short, +yet from shame to sustain resentment, I was compelled to hold out +a finger: he took it with a look of great gratitude, and very +reverently touching the tip of my glove with his lip, instantly +let it go, and very solemnly said, "Soyez sûr que je n'ai +jamais eu la moindre idée de vous offenser." and then he thanked +me again for his licence, and went his way. + + + A SURPRISE AT THE PLAY. + +I had the pleasure of two or three visits from Mr. Bryant, whose +loyal regard for the king and queen makes him eagerly accept +every invitation, from the hope of seeing them in my room; and +one of the days they both came in to speak to him, and were +accompanied by the two eldest princesses, who stood + +Page 32 + +chatting with me by the door the whole time, and saying comical +things upon royal personages in tragedies, particularly Princess +Augusta, who has a great deal of sport in her disposition. She +very gravely asserted she thought some of those princes on the +stage looked really quite as well as some she knew off it. + +Once about this time I went to a play myself, which surely I may +live long enough and never forget. It was "Seduction," a very +clever piece, but containing a dreadful picture of vice and +dissipation in high life, written by Mr. Miles Andrews, with an +epilogue--O, such an epilogue! I was listening to it with +uncommon attention, from a compliment paid in it to Mrs. Montagu, +among other female writers; but imagine what became of my +attention when I suddenly was struck with these lines, or +something like them:-- + +Let sweet Cecilia gain your just applause, Whose every passion +yields to Reason's laws." + +To hear, wholly unprepared and unsuspicious, such lines in a +theatre--seated in a royal box--and with the whole royal family +and their suite immediately opposite me--was it not a singular +circumstance? To describe my embarrassment would be impossible. +My whole head was leaning forward, with my opera glass in my +hand, examining Miss Farren, who spoke the epilogue. Instantly I +shrank back, so astonished and so ashamed of my public situation, +that I was almost ready to take to my heels and run, for it +seemed as if I were there purposely in that conspicuous place-- + +"To list attentive to my own applause." + +The king immediately raised his opera-glass to look at me, +laughing heartily--the queen's presently took the same +direction--all the princesses looked up, and all the attendants, +and all the maids of honour! + +I protest I was never more at a loss what to do with myself: +nobody was in the front row with me but Miss Goldsworthy, who +instantly seeing how I was disconcerted, prudently and +good-naturedly forbore taking any notice of me. I sat as far +back as I could, and kept my fan against the exposed profile for +the rest of the night, never once leaning forward, nor using my +glass. + +None of the royal family spoke to me on this matter till a few +days after; but I heard from Mrs. Delany they had all declared + +Page 33 + +themselves sorry for the confusion it had caused me. And some +time after the queen could not forbear saying, "I hope, Miss +Burney, YOU minded the epilogue the other night?" + +And the king, very comically, said, "I took a peep at you!--I +could not help that. I wanted to see how you looked when your +father first discovered your writing--and now I think I know!" + + + THE KING's BIRTHDAY. + +St. James's Palace, June 4-Take a little of the humours of this +day, with respect to myself, as they have arisen. I quitted my +downy pillow at half-past six o'clock, for bad habits in sickness +have lost me half an hour of every morning; and then, according +to an etiquette I discovered but on Friday night, I was quite new +dressed: for I find that, on the king's birthday, and on the +queen's, both real and nominal, two new attires, one half, the +other full dressed, are expected from all attendants that come +into the royal presence. + +This first labour was happily achieved in such good time, that I +was just seated to my breakfast--a delicate bit of roll +half-eaten, and a promising dish of tea well stirred--when I +received my summons to attend the queen. + +She was only with her wardrobe-woman, and accepted most +graciously a little murmuring congratulation upon the- day, which +I ventured to whisper while she looked another way. Fortunately +for me, she is always quick in conceiving what is meant, and +never wastes time in demanding what is said. She told me she had +bespoke Miss Planta to attend at the grand toilette at St. +James's, as she saw my strength still diminished by my late +illness. Indeed it still is, though in all other respects I am +perfectly well. + +The queen wore a very beautiful dress, of a new manufacture, of +worked muslin, thin, fine, and clear, as the chambery gauze. I +attended her from the blue closet, in which she dresses, through +the rooms that lead to the breakfast apartment. In One of these +while she stopped for her hair-dresser to finish her head-dress, +the king joined her. She spoke to him in German, and he kissed +her hand. + +The three elder princesses came in soon after: they all went up, +with congratulatory smiles and curtsies, to their royal father, +who kissed them very affectionately; they then, as usual every +Morning, kissed the queen's hand. The door was thrown open +Page 34 + +to the breakfast-room, which is a noble apartment, fitted up with +some of Vandyke's best works; and the instant the king, who led +the way, entered, I was surprised by a sudden sound of music, and +found that a band of musicians were stationed there to welcome +him. The princesses followed, but Princess Elizabeth turned +round to me to say she could hardly bear the sound: it was the +first morning of her coming down to breakfast for many months, as +she had had that repast in her own room ever since her dangerous +illness. It overcame her, she said, more than the dressing, more +than the early rising, more than the whole of the hurry and +fatigue of all the rest of a public birthday. She loves the king +most tenderly; and there is a something in receiving any person +who is loved, by sudden music, that I can easily conceive to be +very trying to the nerves. + +Princess Augusta came back to cheer and counsel her; she begged +her to look out at the window, to divert her thoughts, and said +she would place her where the sound might be less affecting to +her. + +A lively "How d'ye do, Miss Burney? I hope you are quite well +now?" from the sweet Princess Mary, who was entering the +ante-room, made me turn from her two charming sisters; she passed +on to the breakfast, soon followed by Princess Sophia, and then a +train of their governesses, Miss Goldsworthy, Mademoiselle +Montmoulin, and Miss Gomme, all in full dress, with fans. We +reciprocated little civilities, and I had then the pleasure to +see little Princess Amelia, with Mrs. Cheveley, who brought up +the rear. Never, in tale or fable, were there six sister +princesses more lovely. + +As I had been extremely distressed upon the queen's birthday, in +January, where to go or how to act, and could obtain no +information from my coadjutrix, I now resolved to ask for +directions from the queen herself; and she readily gave them, in +a manner to make this day far more comfortable to me than the +last. She bade me dress as fast as I could, and go to St. +James', by eleven o'clock; but first come into the room to her. +Then followed my grand toilette. The hair-dresser was waiting +for me, and he went to work first, and I second, with all our +might and main. When my adorning tasks were accomplished, I went +to the blue closet. No one was there, I then hesitated whether +to go back or seek the queen. I have a dislike insuperable to +entering a royal presence, except by an + +Page 35 + +immediate Summons: however, the directions I had had prevailed, +and I- went into the adjoining apartment. There stood Madame de +la Fite! she was talking in a low voice with M. de Luc. They +told me the queen was in the next room, and on I went. + +She was seated at a glass, and the hair-dresser was putting on +her jewels, while a clergyman in his canonicals was standing +near and talking to her. I imagined him some bishop unknown to +me, and stopped; the queen looked round, and called out "it's +Miss Burney!--come in, Miss Burney." in I came, curtseying +respectfully to a bow from the canonicals, but I found not out +till he answered something said by the queen, that it was no +other than Mr. Turbulent. + +Madame de la Fite then presented herself at the door (which was +open for air) of the ante-room. The queen bowed to her, and said +she would see her presently: she retired, and her majesty, in a +significant low voice, said to me, "Do go to her, and keep her +there a little!" I obeyed, and being now in no fright nor hurry, +entered into conversation with her sociably and comfortably. + +I then went to St. James's. The queen was most brilliant in +attire; and when she was arrayed, Mr. West(233) was allowed to +enter the dressing-room, in order to give his opinion of the +disposition -of her jewels, which indeed were arranged with great +taste and effect. + +The three princesses, Princess Royal, Augusta, and Elizabeth, +were all very splendidly decorated, and looked beautiful. They +are indeed uncommonly handsome, each in their different Way-the +princess royal for figure, the Princess Augusta for countenance, +and the Princess Elizabeth for face. + + + THE EQUERRIES: COLONEL MANNERS. + + +Friday, June 8-This day we came to Windsor for the Summer, during +which we only go to town for a Drawing-room once a fortnight, and +to Kew in the way. Mrs. Schwellenberg remained in town, not well +enough to move. + +The house now was quite full, the king having ordered a party to +it for the Whitsun holidays. This party was Colonel + +page 36 + +Manners, the equerry in waiting; Colonel Ramsden, a good-humoured +and well-bred old officer of the king's household; Colonels +Wellbred and Goldsworthy, and General Budé. + +Colonel Ramsden is gentle and pleasing, but very silent; General +Budé is always cheerful, but rises not above a second; Colonel +Hotham has a shyness that looks haughty, and therefore distances; +Colonel Goldsworthy reserves his sport and humour for particular +days and particular favourites; and Colonel Wellbred draws back +into himself unless the conversation promises either instruction +or quiet pleasure; nor would any one of these, during the whole +time, speak at all, but to a next neighbour, nor even then, +except when that neighbour suited his fancy. + +You must not, however, imagine we had no public speakers; M. del +Campo harangued aloud to whoever was willing to listen, and +Colonel Manners did the same, without even waiting for that +proviso. Colonel Manners, however, I must introduce to you by a +few specimens: he is so often, in common with all the equerries, +to appear on the scene, that I wish you to make a particular +acquaintance with him. + +One evening, when we were all, as usual, assembled, he began a +discourse upon the conclusion of his waiting, which finishes with +the end of June:--"Now I don't think," cried he, "that it's well +managed: here we're all in waiting for three months at a time, +and then for nine months there's nothing!" + +"Cry your mercy!" cried Colonel Goldsworthy, "if three months- +-three whole months--are not enough for you, pray take a few more +from mine to make up your market!" + +"No, no, I don't mean that;--but why can't we have our waitings +month by month?--would not that be better?" + +"I think not!--we should then have no time unbroken." + +"Well, but would not that be better than what it is now? Why, +we're here so long, that when one goes away nobody knows one!-- +one has quite to make a new acquaintance! Why, when I first come +out of waiting, I never know where to find anybody!" + +The Ascot races were held at this time; the royal family were to +be at them one or two of the days. Colonel Manners earnestly +pressed Miss Port to be there. Colonel Goldsworthy said it was +quite immaterial to him who was there, for when he was attending +royalty he never presumed to think of any private comfort. + +"Well, I don't see that!" cried Colonel Manners,--"for if + +Page 37 + +I was you, and not in my turn for waiting, I should go about just +as I liked;--but now, as for me, as it happens to be my own turn, +Why I think it right to be civil to the king." + +We all looked round;--but Colonel Goldsworthy broke forth aloud-- +"Civil, quotha?" cried he; "Ha! ha! civil, forsooth!--You're +mighty condescending!--the first equerry I ever heard talk of his +civility to the king!--'Duty,' and 'respect,' and 'humble +reverence,'--those are words we are used to,--but here come you +with Your civility!----Commend me to such affability!" + + you see he is not spared; but Colonel Goldsworthy is the wag +professed of their community, and privileged to say what he +pleases. The other, with the most perfect good-humour, accepted +the joke, without dreaming of taking offence at the sarcasm. + +Another evening the king sent for Colonel Ramsden to play at +backgammon. + +"Happy, happy man!" exclaimed Colonel Goldsworthy, exultingly; +but scarce had he uttered the words ere he was summoned to follow +himself. "What! already!" cried he,--"without even my tea! Why +this is worse and worse!--no peace in Israel!--only one half hour +allowed for comfort, and now that's swallowed! Well, I must +go;--make my complaints aside, and my bows and smiles in full +face!" + +Off he went, but presently, in a great rage, came back, and, +while he drank a hot dish of tea which I instantly presented him, +kept railing at his stars for ever bringing him under a royal +roof. "If it had not been for a puppy," cried he, "I had never +got off even to scald my throat in this manner But they've just +got a dear little new ugly dog: so one puppy gave Way to t'other, +and I just left them to kiss and hug it, while I stole off to +drink this tea! But this is too much!---no peace for a moment!-- +no peace in Israel!" + +When this was passed, Colonel Wellbred renewed some of the +conversation of the preceding day with me; and, just as he named +Dr. Herschel Colonel Manners broke forth with his dissenting +opinions. "I don't give up to Dr. Herschel at all," cried he; +"he is all system; and so they are all: and if they can but make +out their systems, they don't care a pin for anything else. As +to Herschel, I liked him well enough till he came to his +volcanoes in the moon, and then I gave him up, I saw he was just +like the rest. How should he know anything Of the matter? +There's no such thing as pretending to measure, at such a +distance as that?" + +Page 38 + +Colonel Wellbred, to whom I looked for an answer, instead of +making any, waited in quiet silence till he had exhausted all he +had to say upon the subject, and then, turning to me, made some +inquiry about the Terrace, and went on to other general matters. +But, some time after, when all were engaged, and this topic +seemed quite passed, he calmly began, in general terms, to lament +that the wisest and best of people were always so little honoured +or understood in their own time, and added that he had no doubt +but Sir Isaac Newton had been as much scoffed and laughed at +formerly as Herschel was now; but concluded, in return, +Herschel, hereafter, would be as highly reverenced as Sir Isaac +was at present. . . . + +We had then some discourse upon dress and fashions. Virtuosos +being next named, Colonel Manners inveighed against them quite +violently, protesting they all wanted common honour and honesty; +and to complete the happy subject, he instanced, in particular, +Sir William Hamilton, who, he declared, had absolutely robbed +both the king and state of Naples! + +After this, somebody related that, upon the heat in the air being +mentioned to Dr. Heberden, he had answered that he supposed it +proceeded from the last eruption in the volcano in the moon: +"Ay," cried Colonel Manners, "I suppose he knows as much of the +matter as the rest of them: if you put a candle at the end of a +telescope, and let him look at it, he'll say, what an eruption +there is in the moon! I mean if Dr, Herschel would do it to him; +I don't say he would think so from such a person as me." + +"But Mr. Bryant himself has seen this volcano from the +telescope." + +"Why, I don't mind Mr. Bryant any more than Dr. Heberden: he's +just as credulous as t'other." + +I wanted to ask by what criterion he settled these points in so +superior a manner:--but I thought it best to imitate the silence +of Colonel Wellbred, who constantly called a new subject, upon +every pause, to avoid all argument and discussion while the +good-humoured Colonel Manners was just as ready to start forward +in the new subject, as he had been in that which had been set +aside. + +One other evening I invited Madame de la Fite: but it did not +prove the same thing; they have all a really most undue dislike +of her, and shirk her conversation and fly to one another, to +discourse on hunting and horses. + +Page 39 + + THE DUCHESS DE POLIGNAC AT WINDSOR. + +The following Sunday, June 17, I was tempted to go on the +Terrace, in order to se the celebrated Madame de Polignac,(234) +and her daughter, Madame de Guiche. They were to be presented, +with the Duke de Polignac, to their majesties, upon the Terrace. +Their rank entitled them to this distinction; and the Duchess of +Ancaster, to whom they had been extremely courteous abroad, came +to Windsor to introduce them. They were accompanied to the +Terrace by Mrs. Harcourt and the general 'with whom they were +also well acquainted. + +They went to the place of rendezvous at six o'clock; the royal +party followed about seven, and was very brilliant upon the +occasion. The king and queen led the way, and the Prince of +Wales, who came purposely to honour the interview, appeared at it +also, in the king's Windsor uniform. Lady Weymouth was in +waiting upon the queen. The Duchess of Ancaster, Lady Charlotte +Bertie, and Lady Elizabeth Waldegrave, with some other ladies, I +think, attended: but the two eldest princesses, to the very great +detriment of the scenery, were ill, and remained at home. +Princess Elizabeth and Mary were alone in the queen's suite. + +I went with Miss Port and Mrs. and Miss Heberden. The crowd was +so great, it was difficult to move. Their majesties and their +train occupied a large space, and their attendants + +Page 40 + +had no easy task in keeping them from being incommoded by the +pressing of the people. They stopped to converse with these +noble travellers for more than an hour. Madame la Duchesse de +Polignac is a very well-looking woman, and Madame de Guiche is +very pretty. There were other ladies and gentlemen in their +party. But I was much amused by their dress, which they meant +should be entirely `a l'Angloise--for which purpose they had put +on plain undress gowns, with close ordinary black silk bonnets! I +am sure they must have been quite confused when they saw the +queen and princesses, with their ladies, who were all dressed +with uncommon care, and very splendidly. + +But I was glad, at least, they should all witness, and report, +the reconciliation of the king and the Prince of Wales, who +frequently spoke together, and were both in good spirits. + + +COLONEL MANNERS' MUSICAL ACCOMPLISHMENTS. + +Miss Port and myself had, afterwards, an extremely risible +evening with Colonels Goldsworthy, Wellbred, and Manners the rest +were summoned away to the king, or retired to their own +apartments. Colonel Wellbred began the sport, undesignedly, by +telling me something new relative to Dr. Herschel's volcanoes. +This was enough for Colonel Manners, who declared aloud his utter +contempt for such pretended discoveries. He was deaf to all that +could be said in answer, and protested he wondered how any man of +common sense could ever listen to such a pack of stuff. + +Mr. de Luc's opinion upon the subject being then mentioned--he +exclaimed, very disdainfully, "O, as to Mr. de Luc, he's another +man for a system himself, and I'd no more trust him than anybody: +if you was only to make a little bonfire, and put it upon a hill +a little way off, you might make him take it for a volcano +directly!--And Herschel's not a bit better. Those sort of +philosophers are the easiest taken in in the world." +Our next topic was still more ludicrous. Colonel Manners asked +me if I had not heard something, very harmonious at church in the +morning? I answered I was too far off, if he meant from himself. + +"Yes," said he; "I was singing with Colonel Wellbred; and he said +he was my second.--How did I do that song?" + +"Song?--Mercy!" exclaimed Colonel Goldsworthy, "a song at +church!--why it was the 104th Psalm!" + +Page 41 + +"But how did I do it, Wellbred; for I never tried at it before?" + +"why--pretty well," answered Colonel Wellbred, very composedly; +"Only now and then you run me a little into 'God save the king.'" + +This dryness discomposed every muscle but of Colonel Manners, who +replied, with great simplicity, "Why, that's because that's the +tune I know best!" + +"At least," cried I, "'twas a happy mistake to make so near their +majesties." + +"But: pray, now, Colonel Wellbred, tell me sincerely)--could you +really make out what I was singing?" + +"O yes," answered Colonel Wellbred; "with the words." + +"Well, but pray, now, what do you call my voice?" + +"Why--a--a--a counter-tenor." + +"Well, and is that a good voice?" + +There was no resisting,-even the quiet Colonel Wellbred could not +resist laughing out here. But Colonel Manners, quite at his +ease, continued his self-discussion. + +"I do think, now, if I was to have a person to play over a thing +to me again and again, and then let me sing it, and stop me every +time I was wrong, I do think I should be able to sing 'God save +the king' as well as some ladies do, that have always people to +show them." + +"You have a good chance then here," cried I, "of singing some +pieces of Handel, for I am sure you hear them again and again!" + +"Yes, but that is not the thing for though I hear them do it' so +often over, they don't stop for me to sing it after them, and +then to set me right. Now I'll try if you'll know what this is." + +He then began humming aloud, "My soul praise," etc., so very +horribly, that I really found all decorum at an end, and laughed, +with Miss Port, `a qui mieux mieux. Too much engaged to mind +this, he very innocently, when he had done, applied to us all +round for our opinions. + +Miss Port begged him to sing another, and asked for that he had +spouted the other day, "Care, thou bane of love and joy." + +He instantly complied; and went on, in such shocking, discordant +and unmeaning sounds, that nothing in a farce could be more +risible: in defiance however of all interruptions, he Continued +till he had finished one stanza; when Colonel Goldsworthy loudly +called out,--"There,--there's enough!--have mercy!" + +Page 42 + +"Well, then, now I'll try something else." + +"O, no!" cried Colonel Goldsworthy, hastily, "thank you, thank +you for this,-but I won't trouble you for more--I'll not bear +another word." + +Colonel Wellbred then, with an affected seriousness, begged to +know, since he took to singing, what he should do for a shake, +which was absolutely indispensable. + +"A shake?" he repeated, "what do you mean?" + +"Why--a shake with the voice, such as singers make." + +"Why, how must I do it?" + +"O, really, I cannot tell you." + +"Why, then, I'll try myself--is it so?" + +And he began such a harsh hoarse noise, that Colonel Goldsworthy +exclaimed, between every other sound,--"No, no,--no more!" While +Colonel Wellbred professed teaching him, and gave such ridiculous +lessons and directions,-now to stop short, now to swell,-now to +sink the voice, etc., etc., that, between the master and the +scholar, we were almost demolished. + + + MRS. SCHWELLENBERG'S "LUMP OF LEATHER." + +Tuesday, June 19.-We were scarcely all arranged at tea when +Colonel Manners eagerly said, "Pray, Mrs. Schwellenberg, have you +lost anything?" + +"Me?--no, not I + +"No?--what, nothing?" + +"Not I!" + +"Well, then, that's very odd! for I found something that had your +name writ upon it." + +"My name? and where did you find that?" + +"Why--it was something I found in my bed." + +"In your bed?--O, very well! that is reelly comeecal?" + +"And pray what was it?" cried Miss Port. + +"Why--a great large, clumsy lump of leather." + + +"Of leadder, sir?--of leadder? What was that for me?" + +"Why, ma'am, it was so big and so heavy, it was as much as I +could do to lift it!" + +"Well, that was nothing from me! when it was so heavy, you might +let it alone!" + +"But, ma'am, Colonel Wellbred said it was somewhat of yours." + +Page 43 + +"Of mine?--O, ver well! Colonel Wellbred might not say such +thing! I know nothing, Sir, from your leadder, nor from your +bed, sir,--not I!" + +"Well, ma'am, then your maid does. Colonel Wellbred says he +supposes it was she." + +"Upon my vord! Colonel Wellbred might not say such things from my +maid! I won't not have it so!" + +"O yes, ma'am; Colonel Wellbred says she often does SO. He says +she's a very gay lady." + +She was quite too much amazed to speak: one of her maids, Mrs. +Arline, is a poor humble thing, that would not venture to jest, I +believe, with the kitchen maid, and the other has never before +been at Windsor. + +"But what was it?" cried Miss Port. + +"Why, I tell you--a great, large lump of leather, with 'Madame +Schwellenberg' wrote upon it. However, I've ordered it to be +sold." + +"To be sold? How will you have it sold, Sir? You might tell me +that, when you please." + +"Why, by auction, ma'am." + +"By auction, Sir? What, when it had my name upon it? Upon my +vord!--how come you to do dat, sir? Will you tell me, once?" + +"Why, I did it for the benefit of my man, ma'am, that he might +have the money." + +"But for what is your man to have it, when it is mine?" + +"Because, ma'am, it frightened him so." + +"O, ver well! Do you rob, sir? Do you take what is not your own, +but others', sir, because your man is frightened?" + +"O yes, ma'am! We military men take all we can get!" + +"What! in the king's house, Sir!" + +"Why then, ma'am, what business had it in my bed? My room's my +castle: nobody has a right there. My bed must be my treasury; +and here they put me a thing into it big enough to be a bed +itself."---- + +"O! vell! (much alarmed) it might be my bed-case, then!" +(Whenever Mrs. Schwellenberg travels, she carries her bed in a +large black leather case, behind her servants' carriage.) + +" Very likely, ma'am." + +"Then, sir," very angrily, "how Come you by it?" + +"Why, I'll tell you, ma'am. I was just going to bed; so MY +servant took one candle, and I had the other. I had just had my +hair done, and my curls were just rolled up, and he + +Page 44 + +was going away; but I turned about, by accident, and I saw a +great lump in my bed; so I thought it was my clothes. +'What do you put them there for?' says I. 'Sir,' says he, 'it +looks as if there was a drunken man in the bed.' 'A drunken +man?' says I; 'Take the poker, then, and knock him on the head!'" + +"Knock him on the head?" interrupted Mrs. Schwellenberg, "What! +when it might be some innocent person? Fie! Colonel Manners. I +thought you had been too good-natured for such thing--to poker +the people in the king's house!" + +"Then what business have they to get into my bed, ma'am? So then +my man looked nearer, and he said, 'Sir, why, here's your +night-cap and here's the pillow!--and here's a great, large lump +of leather!' 'Shovel it all out!' says I. 'Sir,' says he, 'It's +Madame Schwellenberg's! here's her name on it.' 'Well, then,' +says I, 'sell it, to-morrow, to the saddler.'" + +"What! when you knew it was mine, sir? Upon my vord, you been ver +good!" (bowing very low). +"Well, ma'am, it's all Colonel Wellbred, I dare say; so, suppose +you and I were to take the law of him?" + +"Not I, sir!" (Scornfully). + +"Well, but let's write him a letter, then, and frighten him: +let's tell him it's sold, and he must make it good. You and I'll +do it together." + +"No, sir; you might do it yourself. I am not so familiar to +write to gentlemens." + +"Why then, you shall only sign it, and I'll frank it." + +Here the entrance of some new person stopped the discussion. + +Happy in his success, he began, the next day, a new device: he +made an attack in politics, and said, he did not doubt but Mr. +Hastings would come to be hanged; though, he assured us, +afterwards, he was firmly his friend, and believed no such +thing.(236) + +Even with this not satisfied, he next told her that he had just +heard Mr. Burke was in Windsor. Mr. Burke is the name + +Page 45 + +in the world most obnoxious, both for his Reform bill,(237) which +deeply affected all the household, and for his prosecution of Mr. +Hastings; she therefore declaimed against him very warmly. + +"Should you like to know him, ma'am?" cried he. +"Me?--No; not I." + +"Because, I dare say, ma'am, I have interest enough with him to +procure you his acquaintance. Shall I bring him to the Lodge to +see you?" + +"When you please, sir, you might keep him to yourself!" + +Well, then, he shall come and dine with me,'and after it drink +tea with you." + +"No, no, not I! You might have him all to yourself." + +"but if he comes, you must make his tea." + +"There is no such 'must,' sir! I do it for my pleasure--only +when I please, sir!" + +At night, when we were separating, he whispered Miss Port that he +had something else in store for the next meeting, when he +intended to introduce magnetising. + + + + MRS. SCHWELLENBERG's FROGS. + +July 2.-What a stare was drawn from our new equerry(238) by Major +Price's gravely asking Mrs. Schwellenberg, after the health of +her frogs? She answered they were very well, and the major said, +" You must know, Colonel Gwynn, Mrs. Schwellenberg keeps a pair +of frogs," + +"Of frogs?--pray what do they feed upon?" + +"Flies, sir," she answered. + +"And pray, ma'am, what food have they in winter?" + +"Nothing other." + +The stare was now still wider. + +"But I can make them croak when I will," she added, "when I only +go so to my snuff-box, knock, knock, knock, they croak all what I +please." + +Page 46 + +"Very pretty, indeed!" exclaimed Colonel Goldsworthy. + +"I thought to have some spawn," she continued; "but then Maria +Carlton, what you call Lady Doncaster, came and frightened them; +I was never so angry!" + +"I am sorry for that," cried the major, very seriously, "for else +I should have begged a pair." + +"So you meant, ma'am, to have had a breed of them," cried Colonel +Goldsworthy; "a breed of young frogs? Vastly clever, indeed!; + +Then followed a formal enumeration of their virtues and endearing +little qualities, which made all laugh except the new equerry, +who sat in perfect amaze. + +Then, suddenly, she stopped short, and called out, "There! now I +have told you all this, you might tell something to me. I have +talked enoff; now you might amuse me." + +July 19.-In the afternoon, while I was working in Mrs. +Schwellenberg's room, Mr. Turbulent entered, to summon Miss +Planta to the princesses; and, in the little while of executing +that simple commission, he made such use of his very ungovernable +and extraordinary eyes, that the moment he was gone, Mrs. +Schwellenberg demanded "for what he looked so at me?" + +I desired to know what she meant. +"Why, like when he was so cordial with you? Been you acquainted?" + +"O, yes!" cried I, "I spent three hours twice a-week upon the +road with him and Miss Planta, all the winter; and three or four +dinners and afternoons besides." + +"O that's nothing! that's no acquaintance at all. I have had +people to me, to travel and to dine, fourteen and fifteen years, +and yet they been never so cordial!" + +This was too unanswerable for reply; but it determined me to try +at some decided measure for restraining or changing looks and +behaviour that excited such comments. And I thought my safest +way would be fairly and frankly to tell him this very inquiry. +It might put him upon his guard from such foolishness, without +any more serious effort. + + +July 20.-This evening Mrs. Schwellenberg was not well, and sent +to desire I would receive the gentlemen to tea, and make her +apologies. I immediately summoned my lively, and lovely young +companion, Miss Port, who hastens at every call with +good-humoured delight. + +Page 47 + +We had really a pleasant evening, though simply from the absence +of spleen and jealousy, which seemed to renew and invigorate the +spirits of all present: namely, General Budé, Signor del Campo, +and Colonel Gwynn. They all stayed very late but when they made +their exit, I dismissed my gay assistant and thought it incumbent +on me to show myself upstairs; a reception was awaiting me!--so +grim! But, what O heaven! how depressing, how cruel, to be +fastened thus on an associate so exigeante, so tyrannical, and so +ill-disposed! + +I feared to blame the equerries for having detained me, as they +were already so much out of favour. I only, therefore, mentioned +M. del Campo, who, as a foreign minister, might be allowed so +much civility as not to be left to himself: for I was openly +reproached- that I had not quitted them to hasten to her! +Nothing, however, availed; and after vainly trying to appease +her, I was obliged to go to my own room, to be in attendance for +my royal summons. + +July 21.-I resolved to be very meek and patient, as I do, now and +then, when I am good, and to bear this hard trial of causeless +offence without resentment; and, therefore, I went this afternoon +as soon as I had dined, and sat and worked, and forced +conversation, and did my best, but with very indifferent success; +when, most perversely, who should be again announced -but Mr. +Turbulent. As I believe the visit was not, just after those +"cordial" looks, supposed to be solely for the lady of the +apartment, his reception was no better than mine had been the +preceding days! He did not, however, regard it, but began a +talk, in which he made it his business to involve me, by +perpetual reference to my opinion. This did not much conciliate +matters; and his rebuffs, from time to time, were so little +ceremonious, that nothing but the most confirmed contempt could +have kept off an angry resentment. I could sometimes scarcely +help laughing at his utterly careless returns to an imperious +haughtiness, vainly meant to abash and distance him. I took the +earliest moment in my power to quit the room and the reproach +with which he looked at my exit, for leaving him to such a +tête-à-tête, was quite risible. He knew he could not, in +decency, run away immediately, to and he seemed ready to commit +some desperate act for having drawn himself into such a +difficulty. I am always rejoiced when his flights and follies +bring their own punishment. + +Page 48 + + MR. TURBULENT'S ANTICS. + +July 25-Mr. Turbulent amused himself this morning with giving me +yet another panic. He was ordered to attend the queen during her +hair-dressing, as was Mr. de Luc. I remained in the room the +queen conversed with us all three, as occasions arose, with the +utmost complacency; but this person, instead of fixing there his +sole attention, contrived, by standing behind her chair, and +facing me, to address a language of signs to me the whole time, +casting up his eyes, clasping ],is hands, and placing himself in +various fine attitudes, and all with a humour so burlesque, that +it was impossible to take it either ill or seriously. Indeed, +when I am on the very point of the most alarmed displeasure with +him, he always falls upon some such ridiculous devices of +affected homage, that I grow ashamed of my anger, and hurry it +over, lest he should perceive it, and attribute it to a +misunderstanding he might think ridiculous in his turn. + +How much should I have been discountenanced had her majesty +turned about and perceived him! + +(230) Colonel Greville, called in the "Diary" "Colonel Wellbred," +one of the king's equerries, whom M. de Guiffardiere ("Mr. +Turbulent") was particularly anxious to introduce to Miss +Burney.-ED. + +(231) I "The Paston Letters" were first published, from the +original manuscripts, in 1787. They were chiefly written by or +to members of the Paston family in Norfolk during the reigns of +Henry VI., Edward IV., Richard III., and Henry VII. The letter +above alluded to is No. 91 in the collection. It is a letter of +good Counsel to his young son, written in a very tender and +religious strain, by the Duke of Suffolk, on the 30th of April, +1450, the day on which he quitted England to undergo his five +years' banishment. The duke had been impeached of high treason, +and condemned to this term of banishment, through the king's +interposition, to save him from a worse fate. But his fate was +not to be eluded. He set sail on the 30th of April, was taken on +the sea by his enemies, and beheaded on the 2nd of May +following.-ED. + +(232) Miss Burney had obtained the tacit consent of the queen +that M. de Guiffardiere should travel occasionally with the +equerries, instead of taking his usual place in the coach +assigned to the keepers of the robes. Her real motive in making +the application had been a desire to see less of this boisterous +gentleman, but she had put it upon his attachment to Colonel +Greville-ED. + +(233) Benjamin -west, R.A., who succeeded Reynolds as President +of the Royal Academy, on the death of the latter in 1792. This +mediocre painter was a prodigious favourite with George III., for +whom many of his works were executed.-ED. + +(234) The Duchess Jules de Polignac, the celebrated favourite of +Marie Antoinette. She and her husband, who had been raised by +the queen from a condition of positive poverty, were hated in +France, both as Court favourites, and on account of the wealth +which, it was believed, they had taken advantage of their +position to amass. "Mille 6cus," cried Mirabeau, "A la famille +d'Assas pour avoir sauv6 l'etat; un million a la famille Polignac +pour l'avoir perdu!" + +The ostensible object of the duches,'s visit to England was to +drink the Bath Waters, but there are good grounds for believing +that her real purpose was to make an arrangement with M. de la +Motte for the suppression of some scurrilous Memoirs which it was +rumoured his wife had written, and in which, among other things, +Marie Antoinette was accused of being the principal culprit in +the notorious Diamond Necldace fraud. M. de la Motte states in +his autobiography that he met the Duchess Jules and her +Sister-in-law, the Countess Diane, at the Duchess of Devonshire's +(the beautiful Georgiana), at the request of the latter, when +certain overtures were made to him, and trustworthy authorities +assert that a large sum of money was afterwards paid to the De la +Mottes, to suppress the Memoirs which were however eventually +published. When the French Revolution broke out the Polignacs +were among the first to emigrate. The duchess died at Vienna in +December, 1793, a few months after Marie Antoinette had perished +on the scaffold.-ED. + +(235) Mrs. Schwellenberg had returned to Windsor the day +before.-ED. + +(236) The storm had been gathering round Hastings ever since his +return to England in June, 1785, within a week of which Burke had +given notice in the House of Commons of a motion affecting the +conduct of the late Governor-General in India. His impeachment +was voted in May, 1787, and preparations for his trial were now +going actively forward. We shall find hereafter, in the Diary, +some sketches, from Fanny's point of view, of scenes in this +famous trial, which commenced in February, 1788.-ED. + +(237) This was an old grievance. In 1780 Burke had introduced a +hill "for the better regulation of his majesty's civil +establishments, and of certain public offices; for the limitation +of pensions, and the suppression of sundry useless, expensive and +inconvenient places; and for applying the monies saved thereby to +the public service." The bill was defeated at the time, but was +re-introduced with certain alterations, and finally passed both +houses by a large majority in 1782.-ED. + +(238) Colonel Gwynn who had just arrived at Windsor to succeed +Colonel Manners in the office of equerry in waiting to the King. +Colonel Gwynn was the husband of Mary Horneck, Goldsmith's +"Jessamy Bride."-ED. + + + + + +Page 49 + + SECTION 11. + (1787-8.) + + + COURT DUTIES: SOME VARIATIONS IN THEIR ROUTINE. + + MEETING OF THE TWO PRINCES. + +To-day, after a seven years' absence, arrived the Duke of York. +I saw him alight from his carriage, with an eagerness, a +vivacity, that assured me of the affectionate joy with which he +returned to his country and family. But the joy of his excellent +father!-O, that there is no describing It was the glee of the +first youth--nay, of ai ardent and innocent infancy,--so pure it +seemed, so warm, so open, so unmixed! Softer joy was the +queen's--mild, equal, and touching while all the princesses were +in one universal rapture. + +To have the pleasure of seeing the royal family in this happy +assemblage, I accompanied Miss Port on the Terrace. It was +indeed an affecting sight to view the general content; but that +of the king went to my very heart, so delighted he looked-so +proud Of his son--so benevolently pleased that every one should +witness his satisfaction. The Terrace was very full; all Windsor +and its neighbourhood poured in upon it, to see the prince whose +whole demeanour seemed promising to merit his flattering +reception--gay yet grateful--modest, yet unembarrassed...... + +Early the next morning arrived the Prince of Wales, who had +travelled all night from Brighthelmstone. The day was a day Of +complete happiness to the whole of the royal family; the king was +in one transport of delight, unceasing, invariable; + +Page 50 + +and though the newly-arrived duke was its source and Support the +kindness of his heart extended and expanded to his eldest' born, +whom he seemed ready again to take to his paternal breast; +indeed, the whole world seemed endeared to him by the happiness +he now felt in it. + +Sunday, Aug. 5.-General Grenville brought in the duke this +evening to the tea-room. I was very much pleased with his +behaviour, which was modest, dignified, and easy. Might he but +escape the contagion of surrounding examples, he seems promising +of all his fond father expects and merits. . . . + +Kew, Aug. 7-The next day the now happy family had the delight of +again seeing the two princes in its circle. They dined +here; and the Princess Augusta, who came to Mrs. Schwellenberg's +room in the evening, on a message, said, "There never had been so +happy a dinner since the world was created," The king, In the +evening, again drove out the queen and princesses. The Prince of +Wales, seeing Mr. Smelt in our room (which, at Kew, is in the +front of the house, as well as at Windsor), said he would come in +and ask him how he did. Accordingly, in he came, and talked to +Mr. Smelt for about a quarter of an hour; his subjects almost +wholly his horses and his rides. He gave some account of his +expedition to town to meet his brother. He was just preparing, +at Brighton, to give a supper entertainment to Madame La +Princesse de Lamballe,--when he perceived his courier. "I dare +say," he cried, "my brother's come!" set off instantly to excuse +himself to the princess, and arrived at Windsor by the time of +early prayers, at eight o'clock the next morning. + +"To-day, again," he said, "I resolved to be in town to meet my +brother; we determined to dine somewhere together, but had not +settled where; so hither we came. When I went last to Brighton, +I rode one hundred and thirty miles, and then danced at the +ball,. I am going back directly; but I shall ride to Windsor +again for the birthday, and shall stay there till my brother's, +and then back on Friday. We are going now over the way: my +brother wants to see the old mansion." + +The Prince of Wales's house is exactly opposite to the Lodge + +The duke then came in, and bowed to every one present, very +attentively; and presently after, they went over the way, arm in +arm; and thence returned to town. + +I had a long and painful discourse afterwards with Mr. Smelt, +deeply interested in these young princes , upon the many dangers +awaiting the newly-arrived, who seemed alike + +Page 51 + +unfitted and unsuspicious for encountering them. Mr. Smelt's +heart ached as if he had been their parent, and the regard +springing from his early and long care of them seemed all revived +in his hopes and fears of what might ensue from this reunion. + +I rejoiced at the public reconciliation with the Prince of Wales, +which had taken place during my illness, and which gave the +greater reason for hope that there might not now be a division! + + + BUNBURY, THE CARICATURIST. + +Windsor, Aug. 14.-General Budé came in, with two strangers, whom +he introduced to us by the names of Bunbury and Crawfurd. I was +very curious to know if this was the Bunbury;(239) and I +conjectured it could be no other. When Colonel Gwynn joined us, +he proposed anew the introduction; but nothing passed to +ascertain my surmise. The conversation was general And +good-humoured, but without anything striking, or bespeaking +character or genius. Almost the whole consisted of inquiries +what to do, whither to go, and how to proceed; which, though +natural and sensible for a new man, were undistinguished by any +humour, or keenness of expression or manner. + +Mr. Crawfurd spoke not a word. He is a very handsome young man, +just appointed equerry to the Duke of York. + +I whispered my inquiry to Colonel Gwynn as soon as I found an +opportunity, and heard, "Yes,--'tis Harry Bunbury, sure enough!" + +So now we may all be caricatured at his leisure! He is made +another of the equerries to the Duke. A man with such a turn, +and with talents so inimitable in displaying it, was rather a +dangerous character to be brought within a Court! + +Aug. 15.-My sole conversation this evening was with Mr. +Bunbury, who drew a chair next mine, and chatted incessantly, +with great good humour, and an avidity to discuss the subjects he +started, which were all concerning plays and Players. + +Presently the voice of the Duke of York was heard, calling aloud +for Colonel Goldsworthy. Off he ran. Mr. Bunbury laughed, but +declared he would not take the hint: "What," cried + he, "if I lose the beginning?(240)--I think I know it pretty + +Page 52 + +well by heart'-'Why did I marry' '"--And then he began to spout, +and act, and rattle away, with all his might,-till the same voice +called out "Bunbury !--you'll be too late!"--And off he flew, +leaving his tea untasted--so eager had he been in discourse. + + + + MRS. SIDDONS PROVES DISAPPOINTING ON NEAR ACQUAINTANCE. +Wednesday, Aug. 15.-Mrs. Schwellenberg's illness occasioned my +attending the queen alone; and when my official business was +ended, she graciously detained me, to read to me a new paper +called "Olla Podrida," which is now Publishing periodically. +Nothing very bright--nothing very deficient. + +In the afternoon, while I was drinking coffee with Mrs. +Schwellenberg,--or, rather, looking at it, since I rarely, +swallow any,--her majesty came Into the room, and soon after a +little German discourse with Mrs. Schwellenberg told me Mrs. +Siddons had been ordered to the Lodge, to read a play, and +desired I would receive her in my room + +I felt a little queer in the office ; I had only seen her twice +or thrice, in large assemblies, at Miss Monckton's, and at Sir +Joshua Reynolds's, and never had been introduced to her, nor +spoken with her. However, in this dead and tame life I now lead, +such an interview was by no means undesirable. + +I had just got to the bottom of the stairs, when she entered the +passage gallery. I took her into the tea-room, and endeavoured +to make amends for former distance and taciturnity, by an open +and cheerful reception. I had heard from sundry people (in old +days) that she wished to make the acquaintance; but I thought it +then one of too conspicuous a sort for the quietness I had so +much difficulty to preserve in my ever increasing connections. +Here all was changed; I received her by the queen's commands, and +was perfectly well inclined to reap some pleasure from the +meeting. + +But, now that we came so near, I was much disappointed in my +expectations. I know not if my dear Fredy has met with her in +private, but I fancy approximation is not highly in her favour. +I found her the heroine of a tragedy,--sublime, elevated, and +solemn. In face and person truly noble and commanding; in +manners quiet and stiff; in voice deep and dragging; and in +conversation, formal, sententious, calm, and + +Page 53 + +dry. I expected her to have been all that is interesting; the +delicacy and sweetness with which she seizes every opportunity to +strike and to captivate upon the stage had persuaded me that her +mind was formed with that peculiar susceptibility which, in +different modes, must give equal powers to attract and to delight +in common life. But I was very much mistaken. As a stranger I +must have admired her noble appearance and beautiful countenance, +and have regretted that nothing in her conversation kept pace +with their promise and, as a celebrated actress I had +still only to do the same. + +Whether fame and success have spoiled her, or whether she only +possesses the skill of representing and embellishing materials +with which she is furnished by others, I know not but still I +remain disappointed. + +She was scarcely seated, and a little general discourse begun, +before she told me--at once--that "There was no part she had ever +so much wished to act as that of Cecilia." + +I made some little acknowledgment, and hurried to ask when she +had seen Sir Joshua Reynolds, Miss Palmer, and others with whom I +knew her acquainted. + +The play she was to read was "The Provoked Husband." She +appeared neither alarmed nor elated by her summons, but calmly to +look upon it as a thing of course, from her celebrity. + +I should very much have liked to have heard her read the play, +but my dearest Mrs. Delany spent the whole evening with me, and I +could therefore take no measures for finding out a convenient +adjoining room. Mrs. Schwellenberg, I heard afterwards, was so +accommodated, though not well enough for the tea-table. + + +MR. FAIRLY'S BEREAVEMENT. + +Aug. 23.-At St. James's I read in the newspapers a paragraph that +touched me much for the very amiable Mr. Fairly: it was the death +of his wife, which happened on the Duke of York's birth-day, the +16th.(242) Mr. Fairly has devoted his whole time, strength, +thoughts, and cares solely to nursing and attending her +during a long and most painful illness which she sustained. They +speak of her here as being amiable, but so + +Page 54 + +cold and reserved, that she was little known, and by no means in +equal favour with her husband, who stands, upon the whole the +highest in general esteem and regard of any individual of the +household. I find every mouth open to praise and pity, love and +honour him. + + + TROUBLESOME MR. TURBULENT. + +Upon returning to Kew, I had a scene for which I was little +enough, indeed, prepared, though willing, and indeed, earnest to +satisfy Mr. Turbulent, I wished him to make an alteration of +behaviour. After hastily changing my dress, I went, as usual, to +the parlour, to be ready for dinner; but found there no Mrs. +Schwellenberg; she was again unwell; Miss Planta was not ready, +and Mr. Turbulent was reading by himself. + +Away he flung his book in a moment, and hastening to shut the +door lest I should retreat, he rather charged than desired me to +explain my late "chilling demeanour." + +Almost startled by his apparent entire ignorance of deserving it, +I found an awkwardness I had not foreseen in making myself +understood. I wished him rather to feel than be told the +improprieties I meant to obviate - and I did what was possible by +half evasive, half expressive answers, to call back his own +recollection and consciousness. In vain, however, was the +attempt; he protested himself wholly innocent, and that he would +rather make an end of his existence than give me offence. + +He saw not these very protestations were again doing it, and he +grew so vehement in his defence, and so reproachful in his +accusation of unjust usage, that I was soon totally in a +perplexity how to extricate myself from a difficulty I had +regarded simply as his own. The moment he saw I grew +embarrassed, he redoubled his challenges to know the cause of my +"ill-treatment." I assured him, then, I could never reckon +silence ill-treatment. + +"Yes," he cried, "yes, from you it is ill-treatment, and it has +given me the most serious uneasiness." +"I am sorry," I said, "for that, and did not mean it." + +"Not mean it?" cried be. "Could you imagine I should miss your +conversation, your ease, your pleasantness, your gaiety, and take +no notice of the loss?" + +Then followed a most violent flow of compliments, ending with a +fresh demand for an explanation, made with an energy + +Page 55 + +that, to own the truth, once more quite frightened me. I +endeavoured to appease him, by general promises of becoming more +voluble - and I quite languished to say to him the truth at once; +that his sport, his spirit, and his society would all be +acceptable to me, would he but divest them of that redundance of +-gallantry which rendered them offensive : but I could only think +how to say this--I could not bring it out. + +This promised volubility, though it softened him, he seemed to +receive as a sort of acknowledgment that I owed him some +reparation for the disturbance I had caused him. I stared enough +at such an interpretation, which I could by no means allow; but +no sooner did I disclaim it than all his violence was resumed, +and he urged me to give in my charge against him with an +impetuosity that almost made me tremble. + +I made as little answer as possible, finding everything I said +seemed but the more to inflame his violent spirit; but his +emotion was such, and the cause so inadequate, and my uncertainty +so unpleasant what to think of him altogether, that I was seized +with sensations so nervous, I Could almost have cried. In the +full torrent of his offended justification against my displeasure +towards him, he perceived my increasing distress how to proceed, +and, suddenly stopping, exclaimed in quite another tone, "Now, +then, ma'am, I see your justice returning; you feel that you have +used me very ill!" + +To my great relief entered Miss Planta. He contrived to say, +"Remember, you promise to explain all this." + +I made him no sort of answer, and though he frequently, in the +course of the evening, repeated, "I depend upon your promise! I +build upon a conference," I sent his dependence and his building +to Coventry, by not seeming to hear him. + +I determined, however, to avoid all tête-à-têtes with him +whatsoever, as much as was in my power. How very few people are +fit for them, nobody living in trios and quartettos can imagine! + + + A CONCEITED PARSON. + +Windsor.-Who should find me out now but Dr. Shepherd.(243) He is +here as canon, and was in residence. He told me he had long +wished to come, but had never been able to find the + +Page 56 + +way of entrance before. He made me an immense length of visit, +and related to me all the exploits of his life,-so far as they +were prosperous. In no farce did a man ever more floridly open +upon his own perfections. He assured me I should be delighted to +know the whole of his life; it was equal to anything; and +everything he had was got by his own address and ingenuity. + +"I could tell the king," cried he, "more than all the chapter. I +want to talk to him, but he always gets out of my way; he does +not know me; he takes me for a mere common person, like the rest +of the canons here, and thinks of me no more than if I were only +fit for the cassock;--a mere Scotch priest! Bless 'em!--they +know nothing about me. You have no conception what things I have +done! And I want to tell 'em all this;--It's fitter for them to +hear than what comes to their ears. What I want is for somebody +to tell them what I am." + +They know it already, thought I. + +Then, when he had exhausted this general panegyric, he descended +to some few particulars; especially dilating upon his preaching, +and applying to me for attesting its excellence. + +"I shall make one sermon every year, precisely for you!" he +cried; "I think I know what will please you. That on the +creation last Sunday was just to your taste. You shall have such +another next residence. I think I preach in the right tone--not +too slow, like that poor wretch Grape, nor too fast like Davis +and the rest of 'em; but yet fast enough never to tire them. +That's just my idea of good preaching." + +Then he told me what excellent apartments he had here and how +much he should like my opinion in fitting them up. + + + MR. TURBULENT BECOMES A NUISANCE. + +Aug.30.-Mrs. Schwellenberg invited Mr. Turbulent to dinner, for +she said he had a large correspondence, and might amuse her. He +came early; and finding nobody in the eating-parlour, begged to +wait in mine till Mrs. Schwellenberg came downstairs. This was +the last thing I wished; but he required no answer, and instantly +resumed the Kew discussion, entreating me to tell him what he had +done. I desired him to desist--in vain, he affirmed I had +promised him an explanation, and he had therefore a right to it. + +"You fully mistook me, then," cried I, "for I meant no +Page 57 + +such thing then; I mean no such thing now; and I never shall mean +any such thing in future. Is this explicit? I think it best to +tell you so at once, that you may expect nothing more, but give +over the subject, and talk of something else. What is the news?" + +"I'll talk of nothing else!--it distracts me;--pray No, no, tell +Me!--I call upon your good-nature!" + +"I have none--about this! " + +"Upon your goodness of heart!" + +"'Tis all hardness here!" + +"I will cast myself at your feet,--I will kneel to you!" And he +was preparing his immense person for prostration, when Goter(244) +opened the door. Such an interruption to his heroics made me +laugh heartily; nor could he help joining himself; though the +moment she was gone he renewed his importunity with unabated +earnestness. + +"I remember," he cried, "it was upon the Terrace you first shewed +me this disdain; and there, too, you have shown it me repeatedly +since, with public superciliousness. . . . You well know you +have treated me ill,--you know and have acknowledged it!" + +"And when?" cried I, amazed and provoked; "when did I do what +could never be done?" + +"At Kew, ma'am, you were full of concern--full of remorse for the +treatment you had given me!--and you owned it!" + +"Good heaven, Mr. Turbulent, what can induce you to say this?" + +"Is it not true?" + +"Not a word of it! You know it is not!" + +"Indeed," cried he, "I really and truly thought so--hoped so;--I +believed you looked as if you felt your own ill-usage,- and it +gave to me a delight inexpressible!" + +This was almost enough to bring back the very same supercilious +Distance of which he complained; but, in dread of fresh +explanations, I forbore to notice this flight, and only told him +he might be perfectly satisfied, since I no longer Persevered in +the taciturnity to which he objected. + +"But how," cried he, "do you give up, without deigning to assign +one reason for It"? + +"The greater the compliment!" cried I, laughing; "I give up to +your request." + +"Yes, ma'am, upon my speaking,-but why did you keep Me so long in +that painful suspense?" + +Page 58 + +"Nay," cried I, "could I well be quicker? Till you spoke could I +know if you heeded it?" + +"Ah, ma'am--is there no language but of words? Do you pretend to +think there is no other?'--Must I teach it you,,--teach it to +Miss Burney who speaks, who +understands it so well?--who is never silent, and never can b +silent?" + +And then came his heroic old homage to the poor eyebrows +vehemently finishing with, "Do you, can you affect to know no +language but speech?" + +" Not," cried I, coolly, " without the trouble of more +investigation than I had taken here." + +He called this "contempt," and, exceedingly irritated, de sired +me, once more, to explain, from beginning to end, how he had ever +offended me. + +"Mr. Turbulent," cried I, "will you be satisfied if I tell you it +shall all blow over?" + +"Make me a vow, then, you will never more, never while you live, +resume that proud taciturnity." + +"No, no,--certainly not; I never make vows; it is a rule with me +to avoid them." + +"Give me, then, your promise,--your solemn promise,--at least I +may claim that?" + +"I have the same peculiarity about promises; I never make them." + +He was again beginning to storm, but again I assured him I would +let the acquaintance take its old course, if he would but be +appeased, and say no more; and, after difficulties innumerable, +he at length gave up the point: but to this he was hastened, if +not driven, by a summons to dinner. + + + DR. HERSCHEL AND HIS SISTER. + +Sept.-Dr. Herschel is a delightful man; so unassuming with his +great knowledge, so willing to dispense it to the ignorant, and +so cheerful and easy in his general manners, that were he no +genius it would be impossible not to remark him as a pleasing and +sensible man. I was equally pleased with his sister, whom I had +wished to see very much, for her great celebrity in her brother's +science. She is very little, very gentle, very modest, and very +ingenious; and her manners are those of a person unhackneyed and +unawed by the world, yet desirous to meet + +Page 59 + +and to return its smiles. I love not the philosophy that braves +it. This brother and sister seem gratified with its favour, at +the same time that their own pursuit is all-sufficient to them +without it. + +I inquired of Miss Herschel if she was still comet-hunting, or +content now with the moon? The brother answered that he had the +charge of the moon, but he left to his sister to sweep the +heavens for comets. + +Their manner of working together is most ingenious and curious. +While he makes his observations without-doors, he has a method of +communicating them to his sister so immediately, that she can +instantly commit them to paper, with the precise moment in which +they are made. By this means he loses not a minute, when there +is anything particularly worth observing, by writing it down, but +can still proceed, yet still have his accounts and calculations +exact. The methods he has contrived to facilitate this commerce +I have not the terms to explain, though his simple manner of +showing them made me, fully, at the time, comprehend them. + +The night, unfortunately, was dark, and I could not see the moon +with the famous new telescope. I mean not the great telescope +through which I had taken a walk, for that is still incomplete, +but another of uncommon powers. I saw Saturn, however, and his +satellites, very distinctly, and their appearance was very +beautiful. + + + GAY AND ENTERTAINING MR. BUNBURY. + +Sept.-I saw a great deal of Mr. Bunbury in the course of this +month, as he was in waiting upon the Duke of York, who spent +great part of it at Windsor, to the inexpressible delight of his +almost idolising father. Mr. Bunbury did not open upon me with +that mildness and urbanity that might lead me to forget the +strokes of his pencil, and power of his caricature: he early +avowed a general disposition to laugh at, censure, or despise all +around him. He began talking of everybody and everything about +us, with the decisive freedom of a confirmed old intimacy. + +"I am in disgrace here, already!" he cried almost exultingly. + +"In disgrace?" I repeated. + +"Yes,--for not riding out this morning!--I was asked--what Could +I have better to do?--Ha! ha!" + +The next time that I saw him after your departure from + +Page 60 + +Windsor,(245) he talked a great deal of painting and painters, +and then said, "The draftsman of whom I think the most highly of +any in the world was in this room the other day, and I did not +know it, and was not introduced to him!" + +I immediately assured him I never held the honours of the room +when its right mistress was in it, but that I would certainly +have named them to each other had I known he desired it. +"O, yes,"' cried he, "of all things I wished to know him. He +draws like the old masters. I have seen fragments in the style +of many of the very best and first productions of the greatest +artists of former times. He could deceive the most critical +judge. I wish greatly for a sight of his works, and for the +possession of one of them, to add to my collection, as I have +something from almost everybody else and a small sketch of his I +should esteem a greater curiosity than all the rest put +together."(246) + +Moved by the justness of' this praise, I fetched him +the sweet little cadeaux so lately left me by Mr. William's +kindness. He was very much pleased, and perhaps thought I +might bestow them. O, no--not one stroke of that pencil could I +relinquish! + +Another evening he gave us the history, of his way of life +at Brighthelmstone. He spoke highly of the duke, but with much +satire of all else, and that incautiously, and evidently with +an innate defiance of consequences, from a consciousness of +secret powers to overawe their hurting him. + +Notwithstanding the general reverence I pay to extraordinary +talents, which lead me to think it even a species of +impertinence to dwell upon small failings in their rare +possessors, Mr. Bunbury did not gain my good-will. His serious +manner is supercilious and haughty, and his easy conversation +wants rectitude in its principles. For the rest, he is +entertaining and gay, full of talk, sociable, willing to enjoy +what is going forward, and ready to speak his opinion with +perfect unreserve. + +Plays and players seem his darling theme; he can rave about them +from morning to night, and yet be ready to rave again when +morning returns, He acts as he talks, spouts as + +Page 61 + +he recollects, and seems to give his whole soul to dramatic +feeling and expression. This is not, however, his only subject +Love and romance are equally clear to his discourse, though they +cannot be introduced with equal frequency. Upon these topics he +loses himself wholly--he runs into rhapsodies that discredit him +at once as a father, a husband, and a moral man. He asserts that +love Is the first principle of life, and should take place of +every other; holds all bonds and obligations as nugatory that +would claim a preference; and advances such doctrines of exalted +sensations in the tender passion as made me tremble while I heard +them. + +He adores Werter, and would scarce believe I had not read it- +-still less that I had begun It and left it off, from distaste at +its evident tendency. I saw myself sink instantly in his +estimation, though till this little avowal I had appeared to +Stand in it very honourably. + + + + THE PRINCE OF WALES AT WINDSOR AGAIN. + +One evening, while I was sitting with Mrs. Delany, and her fair +niece, when tea was over, and the gentlemen all withdrawn, the +door was Opened, and a star entered, that I perceived presently +to be the Prince of Wales. He was here to hunt with his royal +father and brother. With great politeness he made me his first +bow, and then advancing to Mrs. Delany, insisted, very +considerately, on her sitting still, though he stood himself for +half an hour--all the time he stayed. He entered into discourse +very good-humouredly, and with much vivacity; described to her +his villa at Brighthelmstone, told several anecdotes of +adventures there, and seemed desirous to entertain both her and +myself . . . . . + +NOV. 8.-At near one o'clock in the morning, while the wardrobe +woman was pinning up the queen's hair, there was a sudden rap-tap +at the dressing-room door. Extremely surprised, I looked at the +queen, to see what should be done; she did not speak. I had +never heard such a sound before, for at the royal doors there +Is always a peculiar kind of scratch used, instead of tapping. I +heard it, however, again,--and the queen called out, "What is +that?" I Was really startled, not conceiving who could take so +strange a liberty as to come to the queen's apartment without the +announcing of a page - and no page, I was very sure, would make +such a noise. +Page 62 + +Again the sound was repeated, and more smartly. I grew quite +alarmed, imagining some serious evil at hand--either regarding +the king or some of the princesses. The queen, however, bid me +open the door. I did--but what was MY surprise to see there a +large man, in an immense wrapping great coat, buttoned up round +his chin, so that he was almost hid between cape and hat! + +I stood quite motionless for a moment--but he, as if also +surprised, drew back; I felt quite sick with sudden terror--I +really thought some ruffian had broke into the house, or a +madman. + +"Who is it?" cried the queen. + +"I do not know, ma'am," I answered. + +"Who is it?" she called aloud; and then, taking off his hat, +entered the Prince of Wales! + +The queen laughed very much, so did I too, happy in this +unexpected explanation. + +He told her, eagerly, he merely came to inform her there were the +most beautiful northern lights to be seen that could possibly be +imagined, and begged her to come to the gallery windows. + + + FALSE RUMOURS OF Miss BURNEY'S RESIGNATION. +Wednesday, Sept. 14--We went to town for the drawing-room, and I +caught a most severe cold, by being oblige to have the glass down +on my side, to suit Mrs. Schwellenberg, though the sharpest wind +blew in that ever attacked a poor phiz. However, these are the +sort of desagremens I can always best bear; and for the rest, I +have now pretty constant civility. + +My dear father drank tea with me - but told me of a paragraph in +"The World," that gave me some uneasiness; to this effect:--"We +hear that Miss Burney has resigned her place about the queen, and +is now promoted to attend the princesses, an office far more +suited to her character and abilities, which will now be called +forth as they merit."--Or to that purpose. As "The World" is not +taken in here, I flattered myself it would not be known; for I +knew how little pleasure such a paragraph would give, and was +very sorry for it. + +The next day, at St. James's, Miss Planta desired to speak to me, +before the queen arrived. She acquainted me Of the same "news," +and said, "Everybody spoke of it;" and the queen might receive +twenty letters of recommend, to + +Page 63 + + +my place before night. Still I could only be sorry. Another +paragraph had now appeared, she told me, contradicting the first, +and saying, "The resignation of Miss Burney is premature; it only +arose from an idea of the service the education of the princesses +might reap from her virtues and accomplishments." + +I was really concerned - conscious how little gratified my royal +mistress would be by the whole :-and, presently, Miss Planta came +to me again, and told me that the princesses had mentioned it! +They never read any newspapers; but they had heard of it from the +Duke of York. +I observed the queen was most particularly gracious with me, +softer, gentler, more complacent than ever; and, while dressing, +she dismissed her wardrobe-woman, and, looking at me very +steadfastly, said, "Miss Burney, do you ever read newspapers?" + +"Sometimes," I answered, "but not often: however. I believe I +know what your majesty means!" + +I could say no less; I was so sure of her meaning. + +"Do you?" she cried. + +"Yes, ma'am, and I have been very much hurt by it: that is, if +your majesty means anything relative to myself?" + +"I do!" she answered, still looking at me with earnestness. +"My father, ma'am," cried I, "told me of it last night, with a +good deal of indignation." + +"I," cried she, "did not see it myself: you know how little I +read the newspapers." + +"Indeed," cried I, "as it was in a paper not taken in here, I +hoped it would quite have escaped your majesty." + +".So it did: I only heard of it." + +I looked a little curious, and she kindly explained herself. + +"When the Duke of York came yesterday to dinner, he said almost +immediately, 'Pray, ma'am, what has Miss Burney left You for?' +'Left me?' 'Yes, they say she's gone; pray what's the reason?' +'Gone?' 'Yes, it's at full length in all the newspapers: is not +she gone?' 'Not that I know of.'" + +"All the newspapers" was undoubtedly a little flourish of the +duke; but we jointly censured and lamented the unbridled liberty +of the press, in thus inventing, contradicting, and bringing on +and putting off, whatever they pleased. + +I saw, however, she had really been staggered: she concluded, I +fancy, that the paragraph arose from some latent Muse, which +might end in matter of fact; for she talked to me of Mrs. +Dickenson, and of all that related to her retreat, and + +Page 64 + +dwelt upon the subject with a sort of solicitude that seemed +apprehensive--if I may here use such a word-of a similar action. +It appeared to me that she rather expected some further assurance +on my part that no such view or intention had given rise to this +pretended report; and therefore, when I had again the honour of +her conversation alone, I renewed the subject, and mentioned that +my father had had some thoughts of contradicting the paragraph +himself. + +"And has he done it ? " cried she quite eagerly. + +"No, ma'am; for, upon further consideration, he feared it might +only excite fresh paragraphs, and that the whole would sooner +die, if neglected." + +"So," said she, "I have been told; for, some years ago, there +was a paragraph in the papers I wanted myself to have had +contradicted, but they acquainted me it was best to be patient, +and it would be forgot the sooner." + +"This, however, ma'am, has been contradicted this morning." +"By your father?" cried she, again speaking eagerly. + +"No, ma'am; I know not by whom." + +She then asked how it was done. This was very distressing but I +was forced to repeat It as well as I could, reddening enough, +though omitting, you may believe, the worst. + +just then there happened an interruption; which was vexatious, as +it prevented a concluding speech, disclaiming all thoughts of +resignation, which I saw was really now become necessary for the +queen's satisfaction; and since it was true--why not say it? +And, accordingly, the next day, when she was most excessively +kind to me, I seized an opportunity, by attending her through the +apartments to the breakfast-room, to beg, permission to speak to +her. It was smilingly granted me. + +"I have now, ma'am, read both the paragraphs." + +"Well?" with a look of much curiosity. + +"And indeed I thought them both very impertinent. They +say that the idea arose from a notion of my being promoted to a +place about the princesses!" + +"I have not seen either of the paragraphs," she answered, "but +the Prince of Wales told me of the second yesterday." + +"They little know me, ma'am," I cried, "who think I should regard +any other place as a promotion that removed me from your +majesty." +Page 65 + +"I did not take it ill, I assure you," cried she, gently. + +"Indeed, ma'am, I am far from having a wish for any such +promotion--far from it! your majesty does not bestow a smile upon +me that does not secure and confirm my attachment." + +one of her best smiles followed this, with a very condescending +little bow, and the words, "You are very good," uttered in a most +gentle Voice; and she went on to her breakfast. + +I am most glad this complete explanation passed. Indeed it is +most true I would not willingly quit a place about the queen for +any place; and I was glad to mark that her smiles were to me the +whole estimate of its value. + +This little matter has proved, in the end, very gratifying to me +for it has made clear beyond all doubt her desire of retaining +me, and a considerably increased degree of attention and +complacency have most flatteringly shown a wish I should be +retained by attachment. + + + TYRANNICAL MRS. SCHWELLENBERG. + +Nov. 27-I had a terrible journey indeed to town, Mrs. +Schwellenberg finding it expedient to have the glass down on my +side, whence there blew in a sharp wind, which so painfully +attacked my eyes that they were inflamed even before we -arrived +in town. + +Mr. de Luc and Miss Planta both looked uneasy, but no one durst +speak; and for me, it was among the evils that I can always best +bear yet before the evening I grew so ill that I could not +propose going to Chelsea, lest I should be utterly unfitted for +Thursday's drawing-room. + +The next day, however, I received a consolation that has been +some ease to my mind ever since. My dear father spent the +evening with me, and was so incensed at the state of my eyes, +which were now as piteous to behold as to feel, and at the +relation of their usage, that he charged me, another time, to +draw up my 'glass in defiance of all opposition, and to abide by +all consequences, since my place was wholly immaterial when put +in competition with my health. + +I was truly glad of this permission to rebel, and it has given Me +an internal hardiness in all similar assaults, that has at least +relieved my mind from the terror of giving mortal offence where +most I owe implicit obedience, should provocation overpower my +capacity of forbearance. + +When we assembled to return to Windsor, Mr. de Luc was + +Page 66 + +in real consternation at sight of my eyes; and I saw an indignant +glance at my coadjutrix, that could scarce content itself without +being understood. Miss Planta ventured not at such a glance, but +a whisper broke out, as we were descending the stairs, expressive +of horror against the same poor person--poor person indeed--to +exercise a power productive only of abhorrence, to those who view +as well as to those who feel it! + +Some business of Mrs. Schwellenberg's occasioned a delay of the +journey, and we all retreated back; and when I returned to my +room, Miller, the old head housemaid, came to me, with a little +neat tin saucepan in her hand, saying, "Pray, ma'am, use this for +your eyes; 'tis milk and butter, much as I used to make for +Madame Haggerdorn when she travelled in the winter with Mrs. +Schwellenberg." + +Good heaven! I really shuddered when she added, that all that +poor woman's misfortunes with her eyes, which, from inflammation +after inflammation, grew nearly blind, were attributed by herself +to these journeys, in which she was forced to have the glass down +at her side in all weathers, and frequently the glasses behind +her also! Upo n my word this account of my predecessor was the +least exhilarating intelligence I could receive! Goter told me, +afterwards, that all the servants in the house had remarked I was +going just the same way! + +Miss Planta presently ran into my room, to say she had hopes we +should travel without this amiable being; and she had left me but +a moment when Mrs. Stainforth succeeded her, exclaiming, "O, for +heaven's sake, don't leave her behind; for heaven's sake, Miss +Burney, take her with you!" + +'Twas impossible not to laugh at these opposite' interests, both, +from agony of fear, breaking through all restraint. Soon after, +however, we all assembled again, and got into the coach. Mr.' de +Luc, who was my vis-`a-vis, instantly pulled up the glass. + +"Put down that glass!" was the immediate order. + +He affected not to hear her, and began conversing. She enraged +quite tremendously, calling aloud to be obeyed without delay. He +looked compassionately at me, and shrugged his shoulders, and +said, "But, ma'am-" + +"Do it, Mr. de Luc, when I tell you! I will have it! When you +been too cold, you might bear it!" + +""It is not for me, ma'am, but poor Miss Burney." + +"O, poor Miss Burney might bear it the same! put it down, Mr. de +Luc! without, I will get out! put it down, when I tell + +Page 67 + +you! It is my coach! I will have it selfs! I might go alone in +it, or with one, or with what you call nobody, when I please!" + +Frightened for good Mr. de Luc, and the more for being much +obliged to him, I now interfered, and begged him to let down the +glass. Very reluctantly he complied, and I leant back in the +coach, and held up my muff to my eyes. What a journey ensued! +To see that face when lighted up with fury is a sight for horror! +I was glad to exclude it by my muff. + +Miss Planta alone attempted to speak. I did not think it +incumbent on me to "make the agreeable," thus used; I was +therefore wholly dumb : for not a word, not an apology, not one +expression of being sorry for what I suffered, was uttered. The +most horrible ill-humour, violence, and rudeness, were all that +were shown. Mr. de Luc was too much provoked to take his usual +method of passing all off by constant talk and as I had never +seen him venture to appear provoked before, I felt a great +obligation to his kindness. When we were about half way, we +stopped to water the horses. He then again pulled up the glass, +as if from absence. A voice of fury exclaimed, "Let it down! +without I won't go!" + +"I am sure," cried he, "all Mrs. de Luc's plants will be killed +by this frost For the frost was very severe indeed. + +Then he proposed my changing places with Miss Planta, who sat +opposite Mrs. Schwellenberg, and consequently on the sheltered +side. "Yes!" cried Mrs. Schwellenberg, "MISS Burney might sit +there, and so she ought!" + +I told her, briefly, I was always sick in riding backwards. + +"O, ver well! when you don't like it, don't do it. You might +bear it when you like it? what did the poor Haggerdorn bear it! +when the blood was all running down from her eyes!" + +This was too much! "I must take, then," I cried, "the more +warning!" After that I spoke not a word. I ruminated all the +rest of the way upon my dear father's recent charge and +permission. I was upon the point continually of availing myself +of both, but alas! I felt the deep disappointment I should give +him, and I felt the most cruel repugnance to owe a resignation to +a quarrel. + +These reflections powerfully forbade the rebellion to which this +unequalled arrogance and cruelty excited me; and after revolving +them again and again, I----accepted a bit of cake which she +suddenly offered me as we reached Windsor, and + +Page 68 + +determined, since I submitted to my monastic destiny from motives +my serious thoughts deemed right, I would not be prompted to +oppose it from mere feelings of resentment to one who, strictly, +merited only contempt. . . . + +I gulped as well as I could at dinner; but all civil fits are +again over. Not a word was said to me: yet I was really very ill +all the afternoon; the cold had seized my elbows, from holding +them up so long, and I was stiff and chilled all over. + +In the evening, however, came my soothing Mrs. Delany. Sweet +soul ! she folded me in her arms, and wept over my shoulder! Too +angry to stand upon ceremony she told Mrs. Schwellenberg, after +our public tea, she must retire to my room, that she might speak +with me alone. This was highly resented, and I was threatened, +afterwards, that she would come to tea no more, and we might talk +our secrets always. + +Mr. de Luc called upon me next morning, and openly avowed his +indignation, protesting it was an oppression he could not bear to +see used, and reproving me for checking him when he would have +run all risks. I thanked him most cordially; but assured him the +worst of all inflammations to me was that of a quarrel, and I +entreated him, therefore, not to interfere. But we have been +cordial friends from that time forward. + +Miss Planta also called, kindly bringing me some eye-water, and +telling me she had "Never so longed to beat anybody in her life; +and yet, I assure you," she added, "everybody remarks that she +behaves, altogether, better to you than to any body!" + +O heavens! + + + + MRS. SCHWELLENBERG'S CAPRICIOUSNESS. + +Saturday, Dec. 1.-'Tis strange that two feelings so very opposite +as love and resentment should have nearly equal power in +inspiring courage for or against the object that excites them yet +so it is. In former times I have often, on various occasions, +felt it raised to anything possible, by affection, and now I have +found it mount to the boldest height, by disdain For, be it +known, such gross and harsh usage I experienced at the end of +last month, since the inflammation of the eyes which I bore much +more composedly than sundry personal indignities that followed, +that I resolved upon a new mode of + +Page 69 + +conduct--namely, to go out every evening, in Order to show that I +by no means considered myself as bound to stay at home after +dinner, if treated very ill; and this most courageous plan I +flattered myself must needs either procure me a liberty of +absence, always so much wished, or occasion a change of behaviour +to more decency and endurability. I had received for to-day an +invitation to meet Lady Bute and Lady Louisa Stuart at my dearest +Mrs. Delany's, and I should have wished it at all times, so much +I like them both. I had no opportunity to speak first to my +royal mistress, but I went to her at noon, rather more dressed +than usual, and when I saw her look a little surprised, I +explained my reason. She seemed very well satisfied with it, but +my coadjutrix appeared in an astonishment unequalled, and at +dinner, when we necessarily met again, new testimonies of conduct +quite without example were exhibited: for when Mrs. Thackeray and +Miss Planta were helped, she helped herself, and appeared +publicly to send me to Coventry--though the sole provocation was +intending to forego her society this evening! + +I sat quiet and unhelped a few minutes, considering what to do: +for so little was my appetite, I was almost tempted to go without +dinner entirely. However, upon further reflection, I concluded +it would but harden her heart still more to have this fresh +affront so borne, and so related, as it must have been, through +Windsor, and therefore I calmly begged some greens from Miss +Planta. + +The weakness of my eyes, which still would not bear the light, +prevented me from tasting animal food all this time. + +A little ashamed, she then anticipated Miss Planta's assistance, +by offering me some French beans. To curb my own displeasure, I +obliged myself to accept them. Unfortunately, however, this +little softening was presently worn out, by some speeches which +it encouraged from Mrs. Thackeray, who seemed to seize the moment +of permission to acknowledge that I was in the room, by telling +me she had lately met some of my friends in town, among whom Mrs. +Chapone and the Burrows family had charged her with a thousand +regrets for My Seclusion from their society, and as many kind +compliments and good wishes. + +This again sent me to Coventry for the rest of the dinner. When +it was over, and we were all going upstairs to coffee, I spoke to +Columb,(247) in passing, to have a chair for me at seven o'clock. + +Page 70 + +"For what, then," cried a stern voice behind me, "for What go you +upstairs at all, when you don't drink coffee? + +Did she imagine I should answer "For your society, ma'am"? No--I +turned back quick as lightning, and only saying, "Very well, +ma'am," moved towards my own room. + +Again a little ashamed of herself, she added, rather more +civilly, "For what should you have that trouble?" + +I simply repeated my "Very well, ma'am," in a voice of, I +believe, rather pique than calm acquiescence, and entered my own +apartment, unable to enjoy this little release, however speedy to +obtain it, from the various, the grievous emotions of my mind, +that this was the person, use me how she might, with whom I must +chiefly pass my time! + +So unpleasant were the sensations that filled me, that I could +recover no gaiety, even at the house of my beloved friend, though +received there by her dear self, her beautiful niece, and Lady +Bute and Lady Louisa, in the most flattering manner. . . . + +The behaviour of my coadjutrix continued in the same strain-- +-really shocking to endure. I always began, at our first +meeting, some little small speech, and constantly received so +harsh a rebuff at the second word, that I then regularly seated +myself by a table, at work, and remained wholly silent the rest +of the day. I tried the experiment of making my escape; but I +was fairly conquered from pursuing it. The constant black +reception depressed me out of powers to exert for flight; and +therefore I relinquished this plan, and only got off, as I could, +to my own room, or remained dumb in hers. + +To detail the circumstances of the tyranny and the grossieret`e I +experienced at this time would be afflicting to my beloved +friends, and oppressive to myself, I am fain, however, to confess +they vanquished me. I found the restoration of some degree of +decency quite necessary to my quiet, since such open and horrible +ill-will from one daily in my sight even affrighted me: it +pursued me in shocking visions even when I avoided her presence; +and therefore I was content to put upon myself the great and +cruel force of seeking to conciliate a person who had no +complaint against me, but that she had given me an inflammation +of the eyes, which had been witnessed and resented by her +favourite Mr. de Luc. I rather believe that latter circumstance +was what incensed her so inveterately. + +Page 71 + +The next extraordinary step she took was one that promised me +amends for all: she told me that there was no occasion we should +continue together after coffee, unless by her invitation. I +eagerly exclaimed that this seemed a most feasible way of +producing some variety in our intercourse, and that I would adopt +it most readily. She wanted instantly to call back her words : +she had expected I should be alarmed, and solicit her leave to be +buried -with her every evening! When she saw me so eager in +acceptance, she looked mortified and disappointed ; but I would +not suffer her to retract, and I began, at once, to retire to my +room the moment coffee was over. + +This flight of the sublime, which, being her own, she could not +resent, brought all round: for as she saw me every evening +prepare to depart with the coffee, she constantly began, at that +period, some civil discourse to detain me. I always suffered it +to succeed, while civil, and when there was a failure, or a +pause, I retired. + +By this means I recovered such portion of quiet as is compatible +with a situation like mine: for she soon returned entirely to +such behaviour as preceded the offence of my eyes; and I +obtained a little leisure at which she could not repine, as a +caprice of her own bestowed it. . . . + +To finish, however, with respect to the présidente, I must now +acquaint you that, as my eyes entirely grew -well, her incivility +entirely wore off, and I became a far greater favourite than I +had ever presumed to think myself till that time! I was obliged +to give up my short-lived privilege of retirement, and live on as +before, making only my two precious little visits to my beloved +comforter and supporter, and to devote the rest of my wearisome +time to her presence--better satisfied, however, since I now saw +that open war made me wretched, even When a victor, beyond what +any subjection could do that had peace for its terms. + +This was not an unuseful discovery, for it has abated all +propensity to experiment in shaking off a yoke which, however +hard to bear, is so annexed to my place, that I must take one +with the other, and endure them as I can. + +My favour, now, was beyond the favour of all others; I was "good +Miss Berner," at every other word, and no one else was listened +to if I would speak, and no one else was Accepted for a partner +if I would play! I found no cause to Which I could attribute +this change. I believe the whole mere Matter of caprice. + +Page 72 + + New YEAR's DAY. + +Queen's Lodge, Windsor, Tuesday, Jan. 1, 1788-I began the new +year, as I ended the old one, by seizing the first moment it +presented to my own disposal, for flying to Mrs. Delany, and +begging her annual benediction. She bestowed it with the +sweetest affection, and I spent, as usual all the time with her I +had to spare. . . . + +In the evening, by long appointment, I was to receive Mr. Fisher +and his bride.(248) Mrs. Schwellenberg, of her own accord desired +me to have them in my room, and said she would herself make tea +for the equerries in the eating-parlour. Mrs. Delany and Miss +Port came to meet them. Mrs. Fisher seems good-natured, +cheerful, and obliging, neither well nor ill in appearance, and, +I fancy, not strongly marked in any way. But she adores Mr. +Fisher, and has brought him a large fortune. + +The Princess Amelia was brought by Mrs. Cheveley, to fetch Mrs. +Delany to the queen. Mrs. Fisher was much delighted in seeing +her royal highness, who, when in a grave humour, does 'the +honours of her rank with a seriousness extremely entertaining. +She commands the company to sit down, holds out her little fat +hand to be kissed, and makes a distant courtesy, with an air of +complacency and encouragement that might suit any princess of +five times her age. + +I had much discourse, while the rest were engaged, with Mr. +Fisher, about my ever-valued, ever-regretted Mrs. Thrale. Can I +call her by another name, loving that name so long, so well, for +her and her sake? He gave me concern by information that she is +now publishing, not only the "Letters " of Dr. Johnson, but her +own. How strange! + +Jan. 4.-In the morning, Mrs. Schwellenberg presented me, from the +queen, with a new year's gift. It is plate, and very elegant. +The queen, I find, makes presents to her whole household every +year: more or less, according to some standard of their claims +which she sets up, very properly, in her own mind. + + + CHATTY MR. BRYANT AGAIN. + +Jan. 8.-I met Mr. Bryant, who came, by appointment to give me +that pleasure. He was in very high spirits, full Of anecdote and +amusement. He has as much good-humoured + +Page 73 + +chit-chat and entertaining gossiping as if he had given no time +to the classics and his studies, instead of having nearly devoted +his life to them. One or two of his little anecdotes I will try +to recollect. + +in the year thirty-three of this century, and in his own memory, +there was a cause brought before a judge, between two highwaymen, +who had quarrelled about the division of their booty; and these +men had the effrontery to bring their dispute to trial. "In the +petition of the plaintiff," said Mr. Bryant, "he asserted that he +had been extremely ill-used by the defendant: that they had +carried on a very advantageous trade together, upon Black-heath, +Hounslow-heath, Bagshot-heath, and other places; that their +business chiefly consisted in watches, wearing apparel, and +trinkets of all sorts, as well as large concerns between them in +cash; that they had agreed to an equitable partition of all +profits, and that this agreement had been violated. So impudent +a thing, the judge said, was never before brought out in a court, +and so he refused to pass sentence in favour of either of them, +and dismissed them from the court." + +Then he told us a great number of comic slip-slops, of the first +Lord Baltimore, who made a constant misuse of one word for +another: for instance, "I have been," says he, "upon a little +excoriation to see a ship lanced; and there is not a finer going +vessel upon the face of God's earth: you've no idiom how well it +sailed." + +Having given us this elegant specimen of the language of one +lord, he proceeded to give us one equally forcible of the +understanding of another. The late Lord Plymouth, meeting in a +country town with a puppet-show, was induced to see it; and, from +the high entertainment he received through Punch, he determined +to buy him, and accordingly asked his price, and paid it, and +carried the puppet to his country-house, that he might be +diverted with him at any odd hour. Mr. Bryant protests he met +the same troop Just as the purchase had been made, and went +himself to the puppet-show, which was exhibited senza punch! + +Next he spoke upon the Mysteries, or origin of our theatrical +entertainments, and repeated the plan and conduct Of several Of +these strange compositions, in particular one he remembered which +was called "Noah's Ark," and in which that patriarch and his +sons, just previous to the Deluge, made it all their delight to +speed themselves into the ark without Mrs. Noah, +Page 74 + +whom they wished to escape; but she surprised them just as they +had embarked, and made so prodigious a racket against the door +that, after a long and violent contention, she forced them to +open it, and gained admission, having first content, them by +being kept out till she was thoroughly wet to the skin. These +most eccentric and unaccountable dramas filled up the chief of +our conversation. + + + DR. JOHNSON's LETTERS To MRS. THRALE DISCUSSED. +Wednesday, Jan. 9.-To-day Mrs. Schwellenberg did me a real +favour, and with real good nature; for she sent me the "Letters" +of my poor lost friends, Dr. Johnson and Mrs. Thrale,(249) which +she knew me to be almost pining to procure. The book belongs to +the Bishop of Carlisle, who lent it to Mr. Turbulent, from whom +it was again lent to the queen, and so passed on to Mrs. +Schwellenberg. It is still unpublished.(249) + +With what a sadness have I been reading!--what scenes in it +revived!--what regrets renewed! These letters have not been more +improperly published in the whole, than they are injudiciously +displayed in their several parts. She has all--every word--and +thinks that, perhaps, a justice to Dr. Johnson, which, in fact, +is the greatest injury to his memory. The few she has selected +of her own do her, indeed, much credit; she has discarded all +that were trivial and merely local, and given only such as +contain something instructive, amusing, or ingenious. + +About four of the letters, however, of my ever-revered Dr. +Johnson are truly worthy his exalted powers: one is upon death, +in considering its approach as we are surrounded, or not by +mourners; another, upon the sudden and premature loss of poor +Mrs. Thrale's darling and only son.(250) + +Our name once occurs: how I started at its sight It is to mention +the party that planned the first visit to our house: Miss Owen, +Mr. Seward, Mrs. and Miss Thrale, and Dr. Johnson. How well +shall we ever, my Susan, remember that morning! + +I have had so many attacks upon her subject, that at last I +fairly begged quarter,--and frankly owned to Mrs. Schwellenberg +that I could not endure to speak any more upon the matter, +endeavouring, at the same time, to explain to her my + +Page 75 + +long and intimate connection with the family. Yet nothing I +could say put a stop to "How can you defend her in this?--how can +you justify her in that?"" etc. Alas! that I cannot defend her +is precisely the reason I can so ill bear to speak of her. How +differently and how sweetly has the queen conducted herself -upon +this occasion! Eager to see the "Letters," she began reading +them with the utmost avidity : a natural curiosity arose to be +informed of several names and several particulars, which she knew +I could satisfy; yet, when she perceived how tender a string she +touched, she soon suppressed her inquiries, or only made them +with so much gentleness towards the parties mentioned, that I +could not be distressed in my answers; and even In a short time I +found her questions made so favourable a disposition, that I +began secretly to rejoice in them, as the means by which I reaped +opportunity of clearing several points that had been darkened by +calumny, and of softening others that had been viewed wholly +through false lights. + +Jan. 10.-When we were summoned to the tea-room I met Miss de Luc +coming out. I asked if she did not stay tea? "O How can I," +cried she, in a voice of distress, "when already, as there is +company here without me, Mrs. Schwellenberg has asked me what I +came for?" I was quite shocked for her, and could only shrug in +dismay and let her pass. When there is no one else she is +courted to stay! + +Mr. and Mrs. Fisher came soon after; and the Princesses Augusta +and Amelia fetched away Mrs. Delany. + +Soon after Colonel Wellbred came, ushering in Mr. Fairly and his +young son, who is at Eton school. I had seen Mr. F. but once +since his great and heavy loss, though now near half a year had +elapsed. So great a personal alteration in a few months I have +seldom seen: thin, haggard, worn with care, grief, and watching-- +his hair turned grey--white, rather, and some of his front teeth +vanished. He seemed to have suffered, through his feelings, the +depredations suffered by Others through age and time. His +demeanour, upon this trying occasion, filled me with as much +admiration as his countenance did with compassion : calm, +composed, and gentle, he seemed bent on appearing not only +resigned, but cheerful. I might even have supposed him verging +on being happy, had not the havoc of grief on his face, and the +tone of deep melancholy in his voice, assured me his Solitude was +all sacred to his sorrows. + +Page 76 + +Mr. Fisher was very sad himself, grieving at the death of Dr. +Harley, Dean of Windsor and Bishop of Hereford. He began, +however, talking to me of these "Letters," and, with him, I could +speak of them, and of their publisher, without reserve: but the +moment they were named Mrs. Schwellenberg uttered such hard and +harsh things, that I could not keep my seat and the less, +because, knowing my strong friendship there in former days, I was +sure it was meant I should be hurt, I attempted not to speak, +well aware all defence is irritation, where an attack is made +from ill-nature, not justice. + +The gentle Mr. Fisher, sorry for the cause and the effect of this +assault, tried vainly to turn it aside: what began with censure +soon proceeded to invective; and at last, being really sick from +crowding recollections of past scenes, where the person now thus +vilified had been dear and precious to my very heart, I was +forced, abruptly, to walk out of the room. + +It was indifferent to me whether or not my retreat was noticed. +I have never sought to disguise the warm friendship that once +subsisted between Mrs. Thrale and myself, for I always hoped +that, where it was known, reproach might be spared to a name I +can never hear without a secret pang, even when simply mentioned. +Oh, then, how severe a one is added, when its sound is +accompanied by the hardest aspersions! + +I returned when I could, and the subject was over. +When all were gone Mrs. Schwellenberg said, "I have told it Mr. +Fisher that he drove you out from the room, and he says he won't +not do it no more." + +She told me next--that in the second volume I also was mentioned. +Where she may have heard this I cannot gather, but it has given +me a sickness at heart inexpressible. It is not that I expect +severity: for at the time of that correspondence--at all times, +indeed, previous to the marriage with Piozzi, if Mrs. Thrale +loved not F. B., where shall we find faith in words, or give +credit to actions? But her present resentment, however unjustly +incurred, of my constant disapprobation of her conduct, may +prompt some note, or other mark, to point out her change of +sentiments--but let me try to avoid such painful expectations; at +least, not to dwell upon them. + +O, little does she know how tenderly at this moment I could run +again into her arms, so often opened to receive me with a +cordiality I believed inalienable. And it was sincere then, I am +satisfied: pride, resentment of disapprobation, and consciousness +of unjustifiable proceedings --- these have now + +Page 77 + +changed her: but if we met, and she saw and believed my faithful +regard, how would she again feel all her own return! + +Well, what a dream am I making! + +Jan. 11.-Upon this ever-interesting subject, I had to-day a very +sweet scene with the queen. While Mrs. Schwellenberg and myself +were both in our usual attendance at noon, her majesty inquired +of Mrs. Schwellenberg if she had yet read any of the "Letters"? + +"No," she answered, "I have them not to read." + +I then said she had been so obliging as to lend them to me, to +whom they were undoubtedly of far greater personal value. + +"That is true," said the queen; "for I think there is but little +in them that can be of much consequence or value to the public at +large." + +"Your majesty, you will hurt Miss Burney if you speak about that; +poor Miss Burney will be quite hurt by that." + +The queen looked much surprised, and I hastily exclaimed, "O, +no!--not with the gentleness her majesty names it." + +Mrs. Schwellenberg then spoke in German; and, I fancy, by the +names she mentioned, recounted how Mr. Turbulent and Mr. Fisher +had "driven me out of the room." + +The queen seemed extremely astonished, and I was truly vexed at +this total misunderstanding; and that the goodness she has +exerted upon this occasion should seem so little to have +succeeded. But I could not explain, lest it should seem to +reproach what was meant as kindness in Mrs. Schwellenberg, who +had not yet discovered that it was not the subject, but her own +manner of treating it, that was so painful to me. + +However, the instant Mrs. Schwellenberg left the room, and we +remained alone, the queen, approaching me in the softest manner, +and looking earnestly in my face, said, "You could not be +offended, surely, at what I said." + +"O no, ma'am," cried I, deeply indeed penetrated by such +unexpected condescension. "I have been longing to make a speech +to your majesty upon this matter; and it was but yesterday that I +entreated Mrs. Delany to make it for me, and to express to your +majesty the very deep sense I feel of the lenity with which this +Subject has been treated in my hearing." + +"Indeed," cried she, with eyes strongly expressive of the +complacency with which she heard me, "I have always spoke as +little as possible upon this affair. I remember but twice that I +have named it: once I said to the Bishop of Carlisle, + +Page 78 + +that I thought most of these letters had better have been spared +the printing; and once to Mr. Langton, at the Drawing-room, I +said, 'Your friend Dr. Johnson, sir, has had many friends busy to +publish his books, and his memoirs, and his meditations, and his +thoughts; but I think he wanted one friend more.' 'What for? +ma'am,' cried he; 'A friend to suppress them,' I answered. And, +indeed, this is all I ever said about the business." + + + A PAIR OF PARAGONS. + +.....I was amply recompensed in spending an evening the most to +my natural taste of any I have spent officially under the royal +roof. How high Colonel Wellbred stands with me you know; Mr. +Fairly., with equal gentleness, good breeding, and delicacy, adds +a far more general turn for conversation, and seemed not only +ready, but pleased, to open upon subjects of such serious import +as were suited to his state of mind, and could not but be +edifying, from a man of such high moral character, to all who +heard him. + +Life and death were the deep themes to which he .led; and the +little space between them, and the little value of that space +were the subject of his comments. The unhappiness of man at +least after the ardour of his first youth, and the near +worthlessness of the world, seemed so deeply impressed on his +mind, that no reflection appeared to be consolatory to it, save +the necessary shortness of our mortal career. . . . + +"Indeed," said he, "there is no time--I know of none--in which +life is well worth having. The prospect before us is never such +as to make it worth preserving, except from religious motives." + +I felt shocked and sorry. Has he never tasted happiness, who so +deeply drinks of sorrow? He surprised me, and filled me, indeed, +with equal wonder and pity. At a loss how to make an answer +sufficiently general, I made none at all, but referred to Colonel +Wellbred: perhaps he felt the same difficulty, for he said +nothing; and Mr. Fairly then gathered an answer for himself, by +saying, "Yes, it may, indeed, be attainable in the only actual as +well as only right way to seek it,--that of doing good!" + +"If," cried Colonel Wellbred, afterwards, "I lived always in +London, I should be as tired of life as you are: I always sicken +of it there, if detained beyond a certain time." + +Page 79 + +They then joined in a general censure of dissipated life, and a +general distaste of dissipated characters, which seemed, however, +to comprise almost all their acquaintance; and this presently +occasioned Mr. Fairly to say, + +"It is, however, but fair for you and me to own, Wellbred, that +if people in general ,'are bad, we live chiefly amongst those who +are the worst." + +Whether he meant any particular set to which they belong, or +whether his reflection went against people in high life, such 'as +constitute their own relations and connexions in general, I +cannot say, as he did not explain himself. + +Mr. Fairly, besides the attention due to him from all, in +consideration of his late loss, merited from me peculiar +deference, in return for a mark I received of his disposition to +think favourably of me from our first acquaintance: for not more +was I surprised than pleased at his opening frankly upon the +character of my coadjutrix, and telling me at once, that when +first he saw me here, just before the Oxford expedition, he had +sincerely felt for and pitied me. . . . + +Sunday, Jan. 13.-There is something in Colonel Wellbred so +elegant, so equal, and so pleasing, it is impossible not to see +him with approbation, and to speak of him with praise. But I +found in Mr. Fairly a much greater depth of understanding, and +all his sentiments seem formed upon the most perfect basis of +religious morality. + +During the evening, in talking over plays and players, we all +three united warmly in panegyric of Mrs. Siddons; but when Mrs. +Jordan was named, Mr. Fairly and myself were left to make the +best of her. Observing the silence of Colonel Wellbred, we +called upon him to explain it. + +"I have seen her," he answered, quietly, "but in one part." + +"Whatever it was," cried Mr. Fairly, "it must have been well +done." + +"Yes," answered the colonel, "and so well that it seemed to be +her real character: and I disliked her for that very reason, for +it was a character that, off the stage or on, is equally +distasteful to me--a hoyden." + +I had had a little of this feeling myself when I saw her in "The +Romp,"(251) where she gave me, in the early part, a real disgust; +but afterwards she displayed such uncommon humour that it brought +me to pardon her assumed vulgarity, in favour of a representation +of nature, which, In its particular class, seemed to me quite +perfect. + +Page 80 + + MR. TURBULENT'S SELF CONDEMNATION. + +At the usual tea-time I sent Columb, to see if anybody had come +upstairs. He brought me word the eating-parlour was empty. I +determined to go thither at once, with my work, that there might +be no pretence to fetch me when the party assembled; but upon +opening the door I saw Mr. Turbulent there, and alone! + +I entered with readiness into discourse with him, and showed a +disposition to placid good-will, for with so irritable a spirit +resentment has much less chance to do good than an appearance of +not supposing it deserved. Our conversation was in the utmost +gravity. He told me he was not happy, though owned he had +everything to make him so; but he was firmly persuaded that +happiness in this world was a real stranger. I combated this +misanthropy in general terms; but he assured me that such was his +unconquerable opinion of human life. + +How differently did I feel when I heard an almost similar +sentiment from Mr. Fairly! In him I imputed it to unhappiness of +circumstances, and was filled with compassion for his fate: in +this person I impute it to something blameable within, and I +tried by all the arguments I could devise to give him better +notions. For him, however, I soon felt pity, though not of the +same composition : for he frankly said he was good enough to be +happy-that he thought human frailty incompatible with happiness, +and happiness with human frailty, and that he had no wish so +strong as to turn monk! + +I asked him if he thought a life of uselessness and of goodness +the same thing? + +"I need not be useless," he said; "I might assist by my counsels. +I might be good in a monastery--in the world I cannot! I am not +master of my feelings: I am run away by passions too potent for +control!" + +This was a most unwelcome species of confidence, but I affected +to treat it as mere talk, and answered it only slightly, telling +him he spoke from the gloom of the moment. + +"No," he answered, "I have tried in vain to conquer them. I have +made vows--resolutions--all in vain! I cannot keep them!" + +"Is not weakness," cried I, "sometimes fancied, merely to save +the pain and trouble of exerting fortitude." + +"No, it is with me inevitable. I am not formed for success in +self-conquest. I resolve--I repent--but I fall! I blame-- + +Page 81 + +reproach--I even hate myself--I do everything, in short, yet +cannot save myself! Yet do not," he continued, seeing me shrink, +"think worse of me than I deserve: nothing of injustice, of +ill-nature, of malignancy--I have nothing of these to reproach +myself with." + +"I believe you," I cried, "and surely, therefore, a general +circumspection, an immediate watchfulness---" + +"No, no, no--'twould be all to no purpose." + +"'Tis that hopelessness which is most your enemy. If you would +but exert your better reason--" + +"No, madam, no!--'tis a fruitless struggle. I know myself too +well--I can do nothing so right as to retire--to turn monk-- +hermit." + +"I have no respect," cried I, "for these selfish seclusions. I +can never suppose we were created in the midst of society, in +order to run away to a useless solitude. I have not a doubt but +you may do well, if you will do well." + +Some time after he suddenly exclaimed, "Have you--tell me--have +you, ma'am, never done what you repent?" + +O "yes!--at times." + +"You have?" he cried, eagerly. + +"O yes, alas!--yet not, I think, very often--for it is not very +often I have done anything!" + +"And what is it has saved you?" + +I really did not know well what to answer him; I could say +nothing that would not sound like parade, or implied superiority. +I suppose he was afraid himself of the latter ; for, finding me +silent, he was pleased to answer for me. + +"Prejudice, education, accident!--those have saved you." + +"Perhaps so," cried I. "And one thing more, I acknowledge myself +obliged to, on various occasions--fear. I run no risks that I +see--I run--but it is always away from all danger that I +perceive." + +"You do not, however, call that virtue, ma'am--you do not call +that the rule of right?" + +"No--I dare not--I must be content that it is certainly not the +rule of wrong." + +He began then an harangue upon the universality of depravity and +frailty that I heard with much displeasure; for, it seems to me, +those most encourage such general ideas of +general worthlessness who most wish to found upon them partial +excuses for their own. + +Page 82 + + MISS BURNEY AMONG HER OLD FRIENDS. + +Jan. 31.--And now I must finish my account of this month by my +own assembly at my dear Mrs. Ord's. + +I passed through the friendly hands of Miss Ord to the most +cordial ones of Mrs. Garrick,(252) who frankly embraced me, +saying, "Do I see you, once more, before I die, my tear little +spark? for your father is my flame, all my life, and you are a +little spark of that flame!" + +She added how much she had wished to visit me at the queen's +house, when she found I no longer came about the world; but that +she was too discreet, and I did not dare say "Do come!" +unauthorized. + +Then came Mr. Pepys, and he spoke to me instantly, of the +'Streatham Letters.' He is in agony as to his own fate, but said +there could be no doubt of my faring well. Not, I assured him, +to my own content, if named at all. + +We were interrupted by Sir Joshua Reynolds. I was quite glad to +see him; and we began chatting with all our old spirit, +and he quite raved against my present life of confinement, an the +invisibility it had occasioned, etc., etc. + +The approach of Mrs. Porteus stopped this. She is always most +obliging and courteous, and she came to inquire whether now she +saw I really was not wholly immured, there was any chance of a +more intimate cultivation of an acquaintance long begun, but +stopped in its first progress. I could only make a general +answer of acknowledgment to her kindness. Her bishop, whom I had +not seen since his preferment from Chester to London, joined us, +and most good-naturedly entered into discourse upon my health. + +I was next called to Mrs. Montagu, who was behind with no one in +kind speeches, and who insisted upon making me a visit at the +queen's house, and would take no denial to my fixing my own time, +whenever I was at leisure, and sending her word; and she promised +to put off any and every engagement for that Purpose. I could +make no other return to such + +Page 83 + +civility, but to desire to postpone it till my dear Mr. and Mrs. +Locke came to town, and could meet her. + +Mrs. Boscawen(253) was my next little t`ete-`a-t`ete, but I had +only begun it when Mr. Cambridge came to my side. + +"I can't get a word!" cried he, with a most forlorn look, "and +yet I came on purpose!" I thanked him, and felt such a real +pleasure in his sight, from old and never-varying regard, that I +began to listen to him with my usual satisfaction. He related to +me a long history of Lavant, where the new-married Mrs. Charles +Cambridge is now very unwell: and then he told me many good +things of his dear and deserving daughter; and I showed him her +muff, which she had worked for me, in embroidery, and we were +proceeding a little in the old way, when I saw Mrs. Pepys leaning +forward to hear us; and then Lady Rothes, who also seemed all +attention to Mr. Cambridge and his conversation. + +The sweet Lady Mulgrave came for only a few words, not to take +me, she said, from older claimants; the good and wise Mrs. +Carter(254) expressed herself with equal kindness and goodness on +our once more meeting; Miss Port, looking beautiful as a little +angel, only once advanced to shake hands, and say, "I can see you +another time, so I won't be unreasonable now." + +Mr. Smelt, who came from Kew for this party, made me the same +speech, and no more, and I had time for nothing beyond a "how do +do " with Mr. Langton, his Lady Rothes,(255) Mr. Batt, Mr. +Cholmondoley, Lord Mulgrave, Sir Lucas Pepys, and Lady Herries. + +Then up came Mrs. Chapone, and, after most cordially shaking +hands with me, "But I hope," she cried, "you are not always to +appear only as a comet, to be stared at, and then vanish? If you +are, let me beg at least to be brushed by your tail, and not hear +you have disappeared before my telescope is ready for looking at +you!" +When at last I was able to sit down, after a short conference +with every one, it was next to Mr. Walpole,(256) who had secured + +Page 84 + +me a place by his side ; and with him was my longest +conversation, for he was in high spirits, polite, ingenious, +entertaining, quaint, and original. + +But all was so short!--so short!--I was forced to return home so +soon! 'Twas, however, a very great regale to me, and the sight of +so much kindness, preserved so entire after so long an absence, +warmed my whole heart with pleasure and satisfaction. My dearest +father brought me home. + + + + SOME TRIVIAL COURT INCIDENTS. + +Friday, Feb. 1.-To-day I had a summons in the morning to Mrs. +Schwellenberg, who was very ill; so ill as to fill me with +compassion. She was extremely low-spirited, and spoke to me with +quite unwonted kindness of manner, and desired me to accept a +sedan-chair, which had been Mrs. Haggerdorn's, and now devolved +to her, saying, I might as well have it while she lived as when +she was dead, which would soon happen. + +I thanked her, and wished her, I am sure very sincerely, better. +Nor do I doubt her again recovering, as I have frequently seen +her much worse. True, she must die at last, but who must not? + +Feb. 2.-The king always makes himself much diversion with Colonel +Goldsworthy, whose dryness of humour and pretended servility of +submission, extremely entertain him. He now attacked him upon +the enormous height of his collar, which through some mistake of +his tailor, exceeded even the extremity of fashion. And while +the king, who was examining and pulling it about, had his back to +us, Colonel Wellbred had the malice to whisper me, "Miss Burney, +I do assure you it is nothing to what it was; he has had two +inches cut off since morning! + +Fortunately, as Colonel Wellbred stood next me, this was not +heard for the king would not easily have forgotten. He soon +after went away, but gave no summons to his gentlemen. + +And now Colonel Wellbred gave me another proof of his +extraordinary powers of seeing. You now know, my dear friends, +that in the king's presence everybody retreats back, as far as +they can go, to leave him the room to himself. In all this, +through the disposition of the chairs, I was placed so much +behind Colonel Wellbred as to conclude myself out of his sight; +but the moment the king retired, he said, as + +Page 85 + +we all dropped on Our seats, "Everybody is tired--Miss Burney the +most--for she has stood the stillest. Miss Planta has leant on +her chair, Colonel Goldsworthy against the wall, myself +occasionally on the screen, but Miss Burney has stood perfectly +still--I perceived that without looking." + +'Tis, indeed, to us standers, an amazing addition to fatigue to +keep still. + +We returned to town next day. In the morning I had had a very +disagreeable, though merely foolish, embarrassment. Detained, by +the calling in of a poor woman about a subscription, from +dressing myself, I was forced to run to the queen, at her +summons, without any cap. She smiled, but said nothing. Indeed, +she is all indulgence in those points of externals, which rather +augments than diminishes my desire of showing apparent as well as +my feeling of internal respect but just as I had assisted her +with her peignoir, Lady Effingham was admitted, and the moment +she sat down, and the hair-dresser began his office, a page +announced the Duke of York, who instantly followed his name. + +I would have given the world to have run away, but the common +door of entrance and exit was locked, unfortunately, on account +of the coldness of the day; and there was none to pass, but that +by which his royal highness entered, and was standing. I was +forced. therefore, to remain, and wait for dismission. + +Yet I was pleased, too, by the sight of his affectionate manner +to his royal mother. He flew to take and kiss her hand, but she +gave him her cheek; and then he began a conversation with her, so +open and so gay, that he seemed talking to the most intimate +associate. + +His subject was Lady Augusta Campbell's elopement from. the +masquerade. The Duchess of Ancaster had received masks at her +house on Monday, and sent tickets to all the queen's household. +I, amongst the rest, had one; but it was impossible I could be +spared at such an hour, though the queen told me that she had +thought of my going, but could not manage it, as Mrs. +Schwellenberg was so ill. Miss Planta went, and I had the entire +equipment of her. I started the Project of dressing her at Mrs. +Delany's, in all the most antique and old-fashioned things we +could borrow; and this was Put very happily in execution, for she +was, I have heard, one of the best and most grotesque figures in +the room. + +(239) Henry William Bunbury, the well-known caricaturist. He was +connected by marriage with Colonel Gwynn, having married, in +1771, Catherine, the "Little Comedy," sister of the "Jessamy +Bride."-ED. + +(240) i.e., of the Play which was to be read by Mrs. Siddons. +See P- 55.-ED. + +(241) This excellent comedy was completed by Colley Cibber, from +an unfinished play of Sir John Vanbrugh's.-ED. + +(242) See note 210, ante, vol. 1, P. 370.-ED. + +(243) Mr. Anthony Shepherd, Plumian Professor of Astronomy at +Cambridge. We meet with him occasionally in the "Early Diary:" +"dullness itself" Fanny once calls him (in 1774).-ED. + +(244) Fanny's maid.-ED. + +(245) Susan Phillips and the Lockes had stayed at Windsor from +the 10th to the 17th of September.-ED. + +(246) This magnificent panegyric relates to a young amateur, +William Locke, the son of Fanny's friends, Mr. and Mrs. Locke. +But there was more than a little of the amateur about Mr. +Bunbury himself. His works bear no comparison with those of the +great masters of caricatured Rowlandson and Gulray.-ED. + +(247) Fanny's man-servant, a Swiss.-ED. + +(248) Mr. Fisher was a canon at Windsor, and an amateur +landscape-painter. He had recently married.-ED. + +(249) "Letters to and from Dr. Johnson," published by Mrs. Piozzi +in 1788.-ED. + +(250) Thrale's only son died, a child, in March, 1776.--ED. + +(251) A farce, adapted from Bickerstaff's opera, "Love in the +City."-ED. + +(252) Eva Maria Feigel, a Viennese dancer, whom Garrick married +in 1749. Fanny writes of her in 1771: "Mrs. Garrick is the most +attentively polite and perfectly well-bred woman in the world; +her speech is all softness; her manners all elegance; her smiles +all sweetness. There is something so peculiarly graceful in her +motion, and pleasing in her address, that the most trifling words +have weight and power, when spoken by her, to oblige and even +delight." ("Early Diary," vol. i. p. 111.) She died in 1822; +her husband in 1779.-ED. + +(253) The Hon. Mrs. Boscawen, widow of Admiral Boscawen.-ED. + +(254) Elizabeth Carter, the celebrated translator of Epictetus. +She was now in her seventieth year, and had been for many years +an esteemed friend of Dr. Johnson. She died in 1806.-ED. , ' + +(255) Mr. Langton's wife was the Countess dowager of Rothes, +widow of the eighth earl. Lady Jane Leslie, who married Sir +Lucas Pepys, the physician, also enjoyed, in her own right, the +title of Countess of Rothes.-ED. + +(256) Horace Walpole. -E D. + + + + +Page 86 + + SECTION 12. + (1788.) + + THE TRIAL OF WARREN HASTINGS. + + +[Probably few events in the history of England are more familiar +to the general reader than the trial of Warren Hastings. If +nowhere else, at least in the best known and, perhaps, most +brilliant of Macaulay's essays every one has read of the career +of that extraordinary man, and of the long contest in Westminster +Hall, from which he came forth acquitted, after an ordeal of +seven years' duration. We shall, accordingly, confine our +remarks upon this subject within the narrowest limits consistent +with intelligibility: Fanny's experiences of the trial, recorded +in the following pages, rendering some review of the proceedings +which caused it here indispensable. + +Warren Hastings was a lad of seventeen when, in 1750, he was +first sent out to India as a writer in the East India Company's +service. His abilities attracted the notice of Clive, and, after +the downfall of the Nawab Suraj-u-Dowlah, Hastings was chosen to +represent the Company at the Court of Mir Jafir, the new Nawab of +Bengal. In 1761 he was appointed Member of Council at Calcutta, +and he returned to England in 1765, unknown as yet to fame, but +with an excellent reputation both for efficiency and integrity. +He left Bengal in a state of anarchy. The actual power was in +the possession of a trading company, whose objects were at once +to fill their coffers, and to avoid unnecessary political +complications. The show of authority was invested in a Nawab who +was a mere puppet in the hands of the English company. Disorder +was rampant throughout the provinces, and the unhappy Hindoos, +unprotected by their native princes, were left a helpless prey to +the rapacity of their foreign tyrants. + +At a time when to enrich himself with the plunder of the natives +was the aim of every servant of the East India Company, it is +much to the honour of Hastings that he returned home a +comparatively poor man. In England he indulged his taste for +literary society, busied himself with a scheme for introducing at + +Page 87 +oxford the study of the Persian language and literature, and made +the acquaintance of Dr. Johnson. But generosity and imprudence +together soon reduced his small means. He applied to the +Directors of the Company for employment, was appointed to a seat +on the Council at Madras, and made his second voyage to India in +1769. Among his fellow-passengers on board the "Duke of Grafton" +was Madame Imhoff, whom he afterwards married. + +At Madras Hastings managed the export business of the Company +with conspicuous success, and so completely to the satisfaction +of the Directors, that, two years later, he was promoted to the +governorship of Bengal, and sent to exercise his administrative +ability and genius for reform -%N here they were then 'greatly +needed-at Calcutta. With this appointment his historic career +may be said to commence. He found himself at the outset in a +situation of extreme difficulty. He was required to establish +something- resembling a stable government in place of the +prevailing anarchy, and, above all things, with disordered +finances, to satisfy the expectations of his' employers by +constant remittances of money. Both these tasks he accomplished, +but the difficulties in the way of the latter led him to the +commission of those acts for which he was afterwards denounced by +his enemies as a monster of injustice and barbarity. +Hastings's conduct with respect to the Great Mogul has been +sketched by Macaulay in words which imply a reprehension in +reality undeserved. Little remained at this time of the +magnificent empire of Aurungzebe beyond a title and a palace at +Delhi. In 1765 Lord Clive had ceded to the titular master of the +Mogul empire the districts of Corah and Allahabad, lying to the +south of Oude, and westwards of Benares. The cession had been +made in pursuance of the same policy which Hastings afterwards +followed; that, namely, of sheltering the British possessions +behind a barrier of friendly states, which should be sufficiently +strong to withstand the incursions of their hostile neighbours, +and particularly of the Mahrattas, the most warlike and dreaded +of the native powers. But Clive's purpose had been completely +frustrated; for the Mogul, far from shielding the English, had +not been able to hold his own against the Mahrattas, to whom he +had actually ceded the very territories made over to him by the +Company. Under these circumstances the English authorities can +hardly be blamed for causing their troops to re-occupy the +districts in question, nor can it fairly be imputed as a crime to +Hastings that in September, 1773, he concluded with the Vizier of +Oude the treaty of Benares, by which he sold Allahabad and Corah +to that friendly potentate for about half a million sterling. + +But the next act of foreign policy on the part of the Governor of +Bengal--his share in the subjugation of the Rohillas--does not +admit of so favourable an interpretation. The Rohillas occupied +territory lying under the southern slopes of the Himalayas, to +the north-west of Oude. The dominant race in Rohilcund was of + +Page 88 + +Afghan origin, although the majority of the population was +Hindoo. Of the rulers of Rohilcund Hastings himself wrote, in +terms which we may accept as accurate, "They are a tribe of +Afghans or Pathans, freebooters who conquered the country about +sixty years ago, and have ever since lived upon the fruits of it, +without contributing either to its cultivation or manufactures, +or even mixing with the native inhabitants."(257) + +In 1772, the Rohillas, hard pressed by their foes, the Mahrattas, +sought the assistance of the Vizier of Oude, Shuja-u-Dowlah, to +whom they agreed to pay, in return for his aid, a large sum of +money. This agreement was signed in the presence of an English +general, and an English brigade accompanied the vizier's army, +which co-operated with the Rohilla forces, and obliged the +Mahrattas to withdraw. But when Shula-u-Dowlah demanded his +promised hire, he received from the Rohillas plenty of excuses +but no money. Hereupon he resolved to annex Rohilcund to his own +dominions, and, to ensure success, he concerted measures with +Hastings, who, willing at once to strengthen a friendly power and +to put money into his own exchequer, placed an English brigade at +the vizier's disposal for a consideration Of 400,000 pounds. In +the spring of 1774 the invasion took place. The desperate +bravery of the Rohillas was of no avail against English +discipline, and the country was so reduced to submission. +Macaulay's stirring account of the barbarities practised by the +invaders has been proved to be greatly exaggerated. Disorders, +however, there were: the people were plundered, and some of the +villages were burnt by the vizier's troops. Many of the Rohilla +families were exiled, but the Hindoo inhabitants of Rohilcund +were left to till their fields as before, and were probably not +greatly affected by their change of master. + +Hastings's conduct in this affair is, from the most favourable +point of view, rather to be excused than applauded. It may have +been politic under the circumstances, but it was hardly in +accordance with a high standard of morality to let out on hire an +English force for the subjugation of a people who, whatever +grounds of complaint the Vizier of Oude might have had against +them, had certainly given no provocation whatsoever to the +English Government. As to the plea which has been put forward in +his favour, that the Rohillas were merely the conquerors, and not +the original owners of Rohilcund, it is sufficiently answered, by +Macaulay's query, "What were the English themselves?" + +In 1773 Lord North's "Regulating Act" introduced considerable +changes in the constitution of the Indian government, and marked +the first step in the direction of a transfer of the control over +Indian affairs from the Company to the Crown. By this act "the +governorship of Bengal, Bahar, and Orissa was vested in the +Governor-General, with four Councillors, having authority over + +Page 89 + + +Madras and Bombay ; and all correspondence relating to civil +government or military affairs was to be laid by the Directors of +the Company in London before his -Majesty's Ministers, who Could +disapprove or cancel any rules or orders. A Supreme Court of +judicature, appointed by the Crown, was established in +Calcutta."(258) The Governor-General was appointed for a term of +five years, and the first Governor-General was Hastings. Of the +four councillors with whom he was associated, three were sent out +from England to take their places at the board, and landed at +Calcutta, together with the judges of the Supreme Court, in +October, 1771. Indisputably the ablest, and, as it proved, +historically the most noteworthy of these three, was Philip +Francis, the supposed author of "Junius's Letters." + +Even before the council commenced its duties dissensions arose. +The newcomers, Francis, Clavering, and Monson, were in constant +opposition to the Governor-General. Indeed, the hostility +between Hastings and Francis rose by degrees to such a height +that, some years later, they met in a duel, in which Francis was +severely wounded. For the present, however, the opponents of +Hastings formed a majority on the council, and his authority was +in eclipse. His ill-wishers in the country began to bestir +themselves, and a scandalous and, there is no doubt, utterly +untrue charge of accepting bribes was brought against him by an +old enemy, the Maharajah Nuncomar. Hastings replied by +prosecuting Nuncomar and his allies for conspiracy. The accused +were admitted to bail, but a little later Nuncomar was arrested +on a charge of having forged a bond some years previously, tried +before an English jury, condemned to death, and hanged, August 5, +1775, his application for leave to appeal having been rejected by +the Chief justice, Sir Elijah Impey. Hastings solemnly declared +his innocence of any share in this transaction, nor is there any +evidence directly implicating him. On the other hand, it must he +remembered that Nuncomar had preferred a most serious charge +against Hastings; that the majority on the council were only too +ready to listen to any charge, well or ill founded, against the +Governor-General; and that Nuncomar's triumph would, in all +probability, have meant Hastings's ruin. Even Mr. Forrest admits +that "it is extremely probable, as Francis stated, that if +Nuncomar had never stood forth in politics, his other offences +would not have hurt him."(259) Macaulay comments upon the +scandal of this stringent enforcement Of the English law against +forgery under circumstances so peculiar, and in a country where +the English law was totally unknown.(260) That Nuncomar was +fairly tried and convicted + +Page 90 + +in the ordinary course of law is now beyond doubt, but we still +hold that it was Impey's clear duty to respite his prisoner. +That he did not do so is a fact which, beyond all others, gave +colour to the assertion of Hastings's enemies, that the execution +of Nuncomar was the result of a secret understanding between the +Governor-General of Bengal and the Chief justice of the Supreme +Court. But, however brought about, the death of Nuncomar was to +the opponents of Hastings a blow from which they never recovered. +The death of Monson, in September, 1776, and that of Clavering, a +year later, placed him in a majority on the council ; his +authority was more undisputed than ever ; and at the expiration +of his term he was re-appointed Governor-General. + +During the years 1780 and 1781 British rule in India passed +through the most dangerous crisis that had befallen it since the +days of Clive. A formidable confederacy had been formed between +the Nizam, the Mahrattas, and the famous Hyder Ali, Sultan of +Mysore, with the object of crushing their common enemy, the +English. The hostility of these powerful states had been +provoked by the blundering and bad faith of the governments of +Bombay and Madras, which had made, and broken, treaties with each +of them in turn. "As to the Mahrattas," to quote the words of +Burke, "they had so many cross treaties with the states general +of that nation, and with each of the chiefs, that it was +notorious that no one of these agreements could be kept without +grossly violating the rest."(261) The war in which the Bombay +Government had engaged with the Mahrattas had been as +unsuccessful in its prosecution as it was impolitic in its +commencement, until, early in 1780, a force under General Goddard +was dispatched from Bengal to co-operate with the Bombay troops. +Goddard's arrival turned the tide of events. The province of +Gujerat was reduced, the Mahratta chiefs, Sindia and Holkar, were +defeated, and everything portended a favourable termination of +the war, when the whole face of affairs was changed by news from +the south. + +Hyder Ali, the most able and warlike of the native princes, swept +down upon the Carnatic in July, 1780, at the head of a +disciplined army of nearly 100,000 men. He was now an old man, +but age had not broken his vigour. He rapidly overran the +country; an English force, under Colonel Baillie, which opposed +him, was cut to pieces, and Madras itself was threatened. The +prompt measures adopted by Hastings on this occasion saved the +colony. Reinforcements were hurried to Madras; the veteran, Sir +Eyre Coote, was entrusted with the command of the army; and the +triumphant + +Page 91 + +career of Hyder Ali was checked by the victory of Porto Novo, +July 1st, 1781. The end of the war, however, was yet far off. +Peace was concluded with the Mahrattas, on terms honourable to +them, in 1782, but in the south the struggle was still maintained +by Hyder Ali and his French allies, and after Hyder Ali's death, +in December of that year, by his son Tippoo; nor was it brought +to a termination until after the general peace Of 1783. + +To support the financial strain of these wars Hastings had +recourse to measures which, with the colouring given to them by +his enemies, gave subsequent rise to two of the heaviest charges +brought forward by the managers of his impeachment. His first +victim was Cheyt Sing, the Rajah of Benares, a tributary of the +English Government. Cheyt Sing had been formerly a vassal of the +Vizier of Oude, and when, in 1775, the vizier transferred his +sovereign rights over Benares to the English, the Bengal +Government confirmed the possession of the city and its +dependencies to Cheyt Sing and his heirs for ever, stipulating +only for the payment of an annual tribute, and undertaking that +the regular payment of this tribute should acquit the Rajah of +further obligations. It was afterwards contended on behalf of +Hastings that this undertaking did not annul the right of the +superior power to call upon its vassal for extraordinary aid on +extraordinary occasions, and this view was upheld by Pitt. + +Hastings began operations in 1778 by demanding of the Rajah, in +addition to his settled tribute, a large contribution towards the +war expenses. The sum was paid, but similar requisitions in the +following years were met with procrastination or evasion, and a +demand that the Rajah should furnish a contingent of cavalry was +not complied with. This conduct on the part of Cheyt Sing +appeared to the Governor-General and his Council "to require +early punishment, and, as his wealth was great and the Company's +exigencies pressing," in 1781 a fine of fifty lakhs, of rupees +(500,000 pounds) was laid upon the unlucky Rajah; Hastings +himself proceeding to Benares, with a small escort, to enforce +payment. Cheyt Sing received his unwelcome visitor with due +respect, but with ambiguous answers, and Hastings, most +imprudently, gave the order for the Rajah's arrest. The Rajah +submitted, but his troops and the population of Benares rose to +the rescue : a portion of Hastings's little force was massacred, +the Rajah regained his liberty, and the Governor-General found +safety only in flight. The insurrection rapidly spread to the +country around, and assumed dangerous proportions, but the +promptitude and vigour of-Hastings soon restored order. Cheyt +Sing was deposed, compelled to flee his country, his estates were +confiscated, and a new Rajah of Benares was appointed in his +stead. + +The charge subsequently preferred against Hastings in connection +with this affair turned upon the question whether Cheyt Sing Was, +as the prosecutors affirmed, a sovereign prince who owed no duty +to the Bengal government beyond the payment (which he + +Page 92 + +had regularly performed) of a fixed annual tribute; or as +Hastings contended, a mere feudal vassal, bound to furnish aid +when called upon by his over-lord. Pitt, as we have said, took +the latter view, yet he gave his support to the charge on the +ground that the fine imposed upon the Rajah of Benares was +excessive., Upon the whole, it would appear that Hastings was +acting within his rights in demanding an extraordinary subsidy +from the Rajah but the enormous amount of the fine, and the +harshness and in' dignity with which Cheyt Sing was treated, +point to a determination on the part of the Governor-General to +ruin a subject prince, with whom, moreover, it was known he had +personal grounds of pique. + +The deposition of Cheyt Sing was followed by an act on which was +afterwards founded the most sensational of all the charges +brought against Warren Hastings. Shuja-u-Dowlah, the Nawab +Vizier of Oude, to whom Hastings had sold the Rohillas, died in +1775, and was succeeded by his son Asaph-u-Dowlah. At the time +of his death Shuja-u-Dowlah was deeply in debt, both to his own +army and to the Bengal Government. The treasure which he left +was estimated at two millions sterling, but this vast sum of +money and certain rich estates were appropriated by his mother +and widow, the begums, or princesses, of Oude, under the pretence +of a will which may possibly have existed, but was certainly +never Produced. With this wealth at their disposal the begums +enjoyed a practical independence of the new vizier, who was no +match in energy and resolution for his mother and grandmother. A +small portion, however, of the money was paid over to the vizier, +on the understanding, guaranteed by the Bengal Government, that +the begums should be left in undisturbed enjoyment of the +remainder of their possessions. Hastings believed, and, it would +seem, on good grounds, that the younger begum had busied herself +actively in fomenting the insurrection which broke out upon the +arrest of Cheyt Sing at Benares. He conceived a plan by which he +might at once punish the rebellious princesses, and secure for +the exchequer at Calcutta the arrears of debt due from the +Government of Oude. He withdrew the guarantee, and urged the +Vizier to seize upon the estates possessed by the begums. +Asaph-u-Dowlah came willingly into the arrangement, but, when it +became necessary to act, his heart failed him. Hastings, +however, was not to be trifled with. English troops were +employed: the begums were closely confined in their palace at +Fyzabad; and, to the lasting disgrace of Hastings, their personal +attendants were starved and even tortured, until they consented +to surrender their money and estates. Hastings's conduct in +withdrawing the guarantee was not without justification ; the +means which he suffered to be employed in carrying out his +purpose, and for the employment of which he must be held +primarily responsible, were utterly indefensible. + +Page 93 +Long before his return to England, the Governor-General's +proceedings had engaged no little share of public attention in +this country. In Parliament +the attack was led by Burke and Fox; + +Hastings's chief defender was one Major Scott, an Indian officer +whom he had sent over to England as his agent in 1780, and who +maintained his patron's cause by voice and pen, in Parliament and +in the press, with far more energy than discretion. In 1784 Mrs. +Hastings arrived in England, bringing home with her, says +Wraxall, "about 40,000 pounds, acquired without her husband's +privity or approval;" and a year later her husband followed her, +having +resigned his Governor-Generalship. The fortune which he now +possessed was moderate, his opportunities considered, and had +been honourably acquired; for his motives had never been +mercenary, and the money which he had wrung from Indian princes +had invariably been applied to the service of the Company or the +necessities of his administration. He was received with honour +by the Directors and with favour by the Court. There was talk of +a peerage for him, and he believed himself not only beyond +danger, but in the direct road to reward and distinction. But +all this was the calm which preceded the storm. The enemies of +Hastings were active and bitterly in earnest, and they were +receiving invaluable assistance from his old opponent in council, +Francis, who had returned to England in 1781. In April, 1786, +the charges, drawn up by Burke, were laid on the table of the +House of Commons. The first charge, respecting the Rohilla war, +was thrown out by the House, ministers siding with the accused. +But on the second charge, relating to the Rajah of Benares, the +Prime Minister, Pitt, declared against Hastings on the ground +that, although the Governor-General had the right to impose a +fine upon his vassal, the amount of the fine was excessive, and +the motion was affirmed by a majority of forty votes. Early the +next session, in February, 1787, Sheridan moved the third charge, +touching the begums of Oude, in a speech which was pronounced the +most brilliant ever delivered in the House of Commons. The +majority against Hastings was on this occasion increased to one +hundred and seven, Pitt, as before, supporting the motion. Other +charges of oppression and corruption were then gone into and +affirmed, and in May, by order of the House, Burke formally +impeached Warren Hastings of high crimes and misdemeanours at the +bar of the House of Lords. The accused was admitted to bail, +himself in 20,000 pounds, and two sureties in 10,000 pounds each. +The Committee of Management, elected by the Commons to conduct +the impeachment, included Burke and Fox, Sheridan and Windham, +and the trial was opened before the Lords, in Westminster Hall, +on the 13th of February, 1788. + +After two days occupied in reading the charges and the +defendant's replies, Burke arose and opened the case for the +prosecution in a speech full of eloquent exaggeration and +honourable + +Page 94 + +zeal in the cause of an oppressed people. He spoke during days, +after which the Benares charge was brought forward by Fox and +Grey (afterwards Earl Grey), the youngest of the managers, and +that relating to the Begums by Adam and Sheridan. The court then +adjourned to the next session. But it is unnecessary here to +follow the details of this famous trial which "dragged its slow +length along" for seven years. In the spring of 1795 Hastings +was acquitted, by a large majority, on all counts; and, although +his conduct had, in some particulars, been far from faultless, +and the sincerity of his principal accusers was beyond question, +his acquittal must be owned as just as it was honourable, +especially when we remember that his action had been entirely +uninfluenced by considerations of private advantage, that he had +endured for so many anxious years the burden of an impeachment, +that he was ruined in fortune by the expenses of the trial, and +that his great services to his country had been left wholly +without reward. + +His poverty, however, was relieved by the Directors of the East +India Company, who bestowed upon him a pension of 4,000 a year, +and he passed the remainder of his long life in honourable +retirement. He died in 1818, his wife, to whom he was always +devotedly attached, surviving him by a few Years. + +The following section contains little besides the account of +Fanny's visits to Westminster Hall during the early days of the +trial. One other event, however, it relates, of sorrowful +significance to the diarist. By the death of Mrs. Delany, on the +11th of April, 17; she lost at once a dear and venerated friend, +and her only occasional refuge from the odious tyranny of Court +routine.-ED.] + +Page 95 + + WESTMINSTER HALL AT THE OPENING OF THE HASTINGS TRIAL. +February 13th. +O what an interesting transaction does this day open! a day, +indeed, of strong emotion to me, though all upon matters foreign +to any immediate concern of my own--if anything may be called +foreign that deeply interests us, merely because it is not +personal. + +The trial, so long impending, of Mr. Hastings, opened to-day. + +The queen yesterday asked me if I wished to be present at the +beginning, or had rather take another day. I was greatly obliged +by her condescension, and preferred the opening. I thought it +would give me a general view of the court, and the manner of +proceeding, and that I might read hereafter the speeches and +evidence. She then told me she had six tickets from Sir Peter +Burrell, the grand chamberlain, for every day; that three were +for his box, and three for his gallery. She asked me who I would +go with, and promised me a box-ticket not only for myself, but my +companion. Nor was this consideration all she showed me for she +added, that as I might naturally wish for my father, she would +have me send him my other ticket. + +I thanked her very gratefully, and after dinner went to St. +Martin's-street; but all there was embarrassing: my father could +not go; he was averse to be present at the trial, and he was a +little lame from a fall. In the end I sent an express to +Hammersmith, to desire Charles(262) to come to me the next +morning by eight o'clock. I was very sorry not to have my +father, as he had been named by the queen; but I was glad to have +Charles. + +I told her majesty at night the step I had ventured to take, and +she was perfectly content with it. "But I must trouble you," she +said, "with Miss Gomme, who has no other way to go." + +This morning the queen dispensed with all attendance from me +after her first dressing, that I might haste away. Mrs. +Schwellenberg was fortunately well enough to take the whole duty, +and the sweet queen not only hurried me off, but sent me some +cakes from her own breakfast-table, that I might + +Page 96 + +carry them, in my pocket, lest I should have no time for eating +before I went. + +Charles was not in time, but we all did well in the end We got to +Westminster Hall between nine and ten O'clock; and, as I know my +dear Susan, like my-self, was never at a trial, I will +give some account of the place and arrangements'; and whether the +description be new to her or old, my partial Fredy will not blame +it. + +The grand chamberlain's box Is in the centre of the upper end of +the Hall: there we sat, Miss Gomme and myself, immediately behind +the chair placed for Sir Peter Burrell. To the left, on the same +level, were the green benches for the House of Commons, which +occupied a third of the upper end of the Hall, and the whole of +the left side: to the right of us, on the same level, was the +grand chamberlain's gallery. + +The right side of the Hall, opposite to the green benches for the +commons, was appropriated to the peeresses and peers' daughters. +The bottom of the Hall contained the royal family's box and the +lord high steward's, above which was a large gallery appointed +for receiving company with peers' tickets. + +A gallery also was run along the left side of the Hall, above the +green benches, which is called the Duke of Newcastle's box, the +centre of which was railed off into a separate apartment for the +reception of the queen and four eldest princesses, who were then +incog., not choosing to appear in state, and in their own box. + +Along the right side of the Hall ran another gallery, over the +seats of the peeresses, and this was divided into boxes for +various people--the lord chamberlain, (not the great +chamberlain,) the surveyor, architect, etc. + +So much for all the raised buildings ; now for the disposition of +the Hall itself, or ground. In the middle was placed a large +table, and at the head of it the seat for the chancellor, and +round it seats for the judges, the masters in chancery, the +clerks, and all who belonged to the law; the upper end, and the +right side of the room, was allotted to the peers in their robes; +the left side to the bishops and archbishops. + +Immediately below the great chamberlain's box was the place +allotted for the prisoner. On his right side was a box for his +own counsel, on his left the box for the managers, or committee, +for the prosecution; and these three most important of all the +divisions in the Hall were all directly adjoining to where I was +seated. + +Almost the moment I entered I was spoken to by a lady I + +Page 97 +did not recollect, but found afterwards to be Lady Claremont and +this proved very agreeable, for she took Sir Peter's place: and +said she would occupy it till he claimed it; and then, when just +before me, she named to me all the order of the buildings, and +all the company, pointing out every distinguished person, and +most obligingly desiring me to ask her any questions I wanted to +have solved, as she knew, she said, "all those creatures that +filled the green benches, looking so little like gentlemen, and +so much like hair-dressers," These were the Commons. In truth, +she did the honours of the Hall to me with as much good nature +and good breeding as if I had been a foreigner of distinction, to +whom she had dedicated her time and attention. My acquaintance +with her had been made formerly at Mrs. Vesey's. + +The business did not begin till near twelve o'clock. The opening +to the whole then took place, by the entrance of the managers of +the prosecution; all the company were already long in their boxes +or galleries. I shuddered, and drew Involuntarily back, when, as +the doors were flung open, I saw Mr. Burke, as head of the +committee, make his solemn entry. He held a scroll in his hand, +and walked alone, his brow knit with corroding care and deep +labouring thought,---a brow how different to that which had +proved so alluring to my warmest admiration when first I met him! +so highly as he had been my favourite, so captivating as I had +found his manners; and conversation in our first acquaintance, +and so much as I had owed to his zeal and kindness to me and my +affairs in its progress! How did I grieve to behold him now the +cruel prosecutor (such to me he appeared) of an injured and +innocent man! + +Mr. Fox followed next, Mr. Sheridan, Mr. Windham, Messrs. +Anstruther, Grey, Adam, Michael Angelo Taylor, Pelham, Colonel +North, Mr. Frederick Montagu, Sir Gilbert Elliot, General +Burgoyne, Dudley Long, etc. They were all named over to me by +Lady Claremont, or I should not have recollected even those of my +acquaintance, from the shortness of my sight, + +When the committee box was filled the House of Commons at large +took their seats on their green benches, which stretched, as I +have said, along the whole left side of the Hall, and, taking in +a third of the upper end, joined to the great Chamberlain's box, +from which nothing separated them but a Partition of about two +feet in height. + +Then began the procession, the clerks entering first, then + +Page 98 + +the lawyers according to their rank, and the peers, bishops, and +officers, all in their coronation robes; concluding with the +princes of the blood,--Prince William, son to the Duke of +Gloucester, coming first, then the Dukes of Cumberland, +Gloucester, and York, then the Prince of Wales; and the whole +ending by the chancellor, with his train borne. They then all +took their seats. + + + WARREN HASTINGS APPEARS AT THE BAR. + +A sergeant-at- arms arose, and commanded silence in court, on +pain of imprisonment. Then some other officer, in a loud voice, +called out, as well as I can recollect, words to this purpose:-- +"Warren Hastings, esquire, come forth! Answer to the charges +brought against you; save your bail, or forfeit your +recognizance." + + Indeed I trembled at these words, and hardly Could +keep my place when I found Mr. Hastings was being brought to the +bar. He came forth from some place immediately under the great +chamberlain's box, and was preceded by Sir Francis Molyneux, +gentleman-usher of the black rod; and at each side of him walked +his bail, Messrs. Sulivan and Sumner. + +The moment he came in sight, which was not for full ten minutes +after his awful summons, he made a low bow to the chancellor and +court facing him. I saw not his face, as he was directly under +me. He moved on slowly, and, I think, supported between his two +bails, to the opening of his own box; there, lower still, he +bowed again; and then, advancing to the bar, he leant his hands +upon it, and dropped on his knees; but a voice in the same minute +proclaiming he had leave to rise, he stood up almost +instantaneously, and a third time, profoundly bowed to the court. + +What an awful moment this for such a man!--a man fallen from such +height of power to a situation so humiliating--from the almost +unlimited command of so large a part of the eastern World to be +cast at the feet of his enemies, of the great tribunal of his +country, and of the nation at large, assembled thus in a body to +try and to judge him! Could even his prosecutors at that moment +look on--and not shudder at least, if they did not blush? + +The crier, I think it was, made, in a loud and hollow voice, a +public proclamation, "That Warren Hastings, esquire, late +governor-general of Bengal, was now on his trial for high + +Page 99 +crimes and misdemeanours, with which he was charged by the +commons of Great Britain; and that all persons whatsoever who had +aught to allege against him were now to stand forth." + + +A general silence followed, and the chancellor, Lord Thurlow, now +made his speech. I will give it you to the best of my power from +memory; the newspapers have printed it far less accurately than I +have retained it, though I am by no means exact or secure. + + + +THE LORD CHANCELLOR'S SPEECH. + +Warren Hastings, you are now brought into this court to answer to +the charge, brought against you by the knights, esquires, +burgesses, and commons of Great Britain--charges now standing +only as allegations, by them to be legally proved, or by you to +be disproved. Bring forth your answer and defence, with that +seriousness, respect, and truth, due to accusers so respectable. +Time has been allowed you for preparation, proportioned to the +intricacies in which the transactions are involved, and to the +remote distances whence your documents may have been searched and +required. You will be allowed bail, for the better forwarding +your defence, and-whatever you can require will still be yours, +of time, witnesses, and all things else you may hold necessary. +This is not granted you as any indulgence: it is entirely your +due: it is the privilege which every British subject has a right +to claim, and which is due to every one who is brought before +this high tribunal." + +This speech, uttered in a calm, equal, solemn manner, and in a +voice mellow and penetrating, with eyes keen and black, yet +softened into some degree of tenderness while fastened full upon +the prisoner--this speech, its occasion, its portent, and its +object, had an effect upon every hearer of producing the most +respectful attention, and, out of the committee box at least, the +strongest emotions in the cause of Mr. Hastings. Again Mr. +Hastings made the lowest reverence to the court, and, leaning +over the bar answered, with much agitation, through evident +efforts to suppress it, "My lords --Impressed--deeply impressed-- +I come before your lordships, equally confident in my own +integrity, and in the justice of the court before which I am to +clear it." + +"Impressed" and "deeply impressed," too, was my mind, by this +short yet comprehensive speech, and all my best wishes + +Page 100 + +for his clearance and redress rose warmer than ever in my heart. + + + THE READING OF THE CHARGES COMMENCED. + +A general silence again ensued, and then one of the lawyers +opened the cause. He began by reading from an immense roll of +parchment the general charges against Mr. Hastings, but he read +in so monotonous a chant that nothing more could I hear or +understand than now and then the name of Warren Hastings. + +During this reading, to which I vainly lent all my attention, Mr. +Hastings, finding it, I presume, equally impossible to hear a +word, began to cast his eyes around the house, and having taken a +survey of all in front and at the sides, he turned about and +looked up; pale looked his face--pale, ill, and altered. I was +much affected by the sight of that dreadful harass which +was written on his countenance. Had I looked at him without +restraint, it could not have been without tears. I felt shocked, +too, shocked and ashamed, to be seen by him in that place. I had +wished to be present from an earnest interest in the business, +joined to a firm confidence in his powers of defence; but his +eyes were not those I wished to meet in Westminster Hall. I +called upon Miss Gomme and Charles to assist me in looking +another way, and in conversing with me as I turned aside, and I +kept as much aloof as possible till he had taken his survey, and +placed himself again in front. + +>From this time, however, he frequently looked round, and I was +soon without a doubt that he must see me. . . . In a few minutes +more, while this reading was still continued, I perceived Sir +Joshua Reynolds in the midst of the committee. He, at the same +moment, saw me also, and not only bowed, but smiled and nodded +with his usual good-humour and +intimacy, making at the same time a sign to his ear, by which I +understood he had no trumpet; whether he had forgotten or lost it +I know not. + +I would rather have answered all this dumb show anywhere else, as +my last ambition was that of being noticed from such a box. I +again entreated aid in turning away; but Miss Gomme, who is a +friend of Sir Gilbert Elliot, one of the managers and an +ill-wisher, for his sake, to the opposite cause, would only +laugh, and ask why I should not be owned by them. + +I did not, however, like it, but had no choice from my near + +Page 101 + +situation; and in a few seconds I had again a bow, and a +profound one, and again very ridiculously I was obliged to +inquire of Lady Claremont who my own acquaintance might be. Mr. +Richard Burke, senior, she answered. He is a brother of the +great--great in defiance of all drawbacks--Edmund Burke. + +Another lawyer now arose, and read so exactly in the same manner, +that it was utterly impossible to discover even whether it was a +charge or an answer. Such reading as this, you may well suppose, +set every body pretty much at their ease and but for the interest +I took in looking from time to time at Mr. Hastings, and watching +his countenance, I might as well have been away. He seemed +composed after the first half-hour, and calm; but he looked with +a species of indignant contempt towards his accusers, that could +not, I think, have been worn had his defence been doubtful. Many +there are who fear for him; for me, I own myself wholly confident +in his acquittal. + + + AN OLD ACQUAINTANCE. + +Soon after, a voice just by my side, from the green benches, +said, "Will Miss Burney allow me to renew my acquaintance with +her?" I turned about and saw Mr. Crutchley. + +All Streatham rose to my mind at sight of him. I have never +beheld him since the Streatham society was abolished. We entered +instantly upon the subject of that family, a Subject ever to me +the most Interesting. He also had never seen poor Mrs. Thrale +since her return to England; but he joined with me very earnestly +in agreeing that, since so unhappy a step +was now past recall, it became the duty, however painful a one, +of the daughters, to support, not cast off and contemn, one who +was now as much their mother as when she still bore their own +name. + +"But how," cried he, "do you stand the fiery trial of this +Streatham book that is coming upon us?" + +I acknowledged myself very uneasy about it, and he assured me all +who had ever been at Streatham were in fright and consternation. +We talked all these matters over more at length, till I was +called away by an "How d'ye do, Miss Burney?" from the committee +box! And then I saw young Mr. Burke, who had jumped up on the +nearest form to speak to me. + +Pleasant enough! I checked my vexation as well as I was able, +since the least shyness on my part to those with whom + +Page 102 + +formerly I had been social must instantly have been attributed to +Court influence; and therefore, since I could not avoid the +notice, I did what I could to talk with him as heretofore. He is +besides so amiable a young man that I could not be sorry to see +him again, though I regretted it should be Just In that place, +and at this time. + +While we talked together, Mr. Crutchley went back to his more +distant seat, and the moment I was able to withdraw from young +Mr. Burke, Charles, who sat behind me, leant down and told me a +gentleman had just desired to be presented to me. + +"Who?" quoth I. + +" Mr. Windham," he answered. + +I really thought he was laughing, and answered accordingly, but +he assured me he was in earnest, and that Mr. Windham had begged +him to make the proposition. What could I do? There was no +refusing; yet a planned meeting with another of the committee, +and one deep in the prosecution, and from whom one of the hardest +charges has come(263)--could anything be less pleasant as I was +then situated? The great chamberlain's box is the only part of +the Hall that has any communication with either the committee box +or the House of Commons, and it is also the very nearest to the +prisoner. + + + WILLIAM WINDHAM) ESQ., M.P. + +Mr. Windham I had seen twice before-both times at Miss +Monckton's; and anywhere else I should have been much gratified +by his desire of a third meeting, as he is one of the most +agreeable, spirited, well-bred, and brilliant conversers I have +ever spoken with. He is a neighbour, too, now, of + +Page 103 + +Charlotte's. He is member for Norwich, and a man of family and +fortune, with a very pleasing though not handsome face, a very +elegant figure, and an air of fashion and vivacity. + +The conversations I had had with him at Miss Monckton's had been, +wholly- by his own means, extremely spirited and entertaining. I +was sorry to see him make one of a set that appeared so +inveterate against a man I believe so injuriously treated; and my +concern was founded upon the good thoughts I had conceived of +him, not merely from his social talents, which are yet very +uncommon, but from a reason clearer to my remembrance. He loved +Dr. Johnson,-and Dr. Johnson returned his affection. Their +political principles and connexions were opposite, but Mr. +Windham respected his venerable friend too highly to discuss any +points that could offend him ; and showed for him so true a +regard, that, during all his late illnesses, for the latter part +of his life, his carriage and himself were alike at his service, +to air, visit, or go out, whenever he was disposed to accept +them. + +Nor was this all; one tender proof he gave of warm and generous +regard, that I can never forget, and that rose instantly to my +mind when I heard his name, and gave him a welcome in my eyes +when they met his face : it is this: Dr. Johnson, in his last +visit to Lichfield, was taken ill, and waited to recover strength +for travelling back to town in his usual vehicle, a stage-coach-- +as soon as this reached the ears of Mr. Windham, he set off for +Lichfield in his own carriage, to offer to bring hint back to +town in it, and at his own time. + +For a young man of fashion, such a trait towards an old, however +dignified philosopher, must surely be a mark indisputable of an +elevated mind and character; and still the more strongly it +marked a noble way of thinking, as it was done in favour of a +person in open opposition to his own party, and declared +prejudices. + +Charles soon told me he was it my elbow. He had taken the place +Mr. Crutchley had just left. The abord was, oil my , part, very +awkward, from the distress I felt lest Mr. Hastings should look +up, and from a conviction that I must not name +Page 104 + +that gentleman, of whom alone I could then think, to a person in +a committee against him. + +He, however, was easy, having no embarrassing thoughts, since the +conference was of his own seeking. 'Twas so long since I had +seen him, that I almost wonder he remembered me. After the first +compliments he looked around him, and exclaimed "What an assembly +is this! How striking a spectacle! I had not seen half its +splendour down there. You have it here to great advantage; you +lose some of the lords, but you gain all the ladies. You have a +very good place here," + +"Yes and I may safely say I make a very impartial use of it for +since here I have sat, I have never discovered to which side I +have been listening!" + +He laughed, but told me they were then running through the +charges. + +"And is it essential," cried I, "that they should so run them +through that nobody can understand them? Is that a form of law?" + +He agreed to the absurdity - and then, looking still at the +spectacle, which indeed is the most splendid I ever saw, arrested +his eyes upon the chancellor. + +"He looks very well from hence," cried he; "and how well he +acquits himself on these solemn occasions! With what dignity, +what loftiness, what high propriety, he comports himself!" + +This praise to the chancellor, who is a known friend to Mr. +Hastings, though I believe he would be the last to favour him +unjustly now he is on trial, was a pleasant sound to my ear, and +confirmed my original idea of the liberal disposition of my new +associate. i joined heartily in the commendation, and warmly +praised his speech. + +"Even a degree of pompousness," cried I, "in such a court as +this, seems a propriety." + +"Yes," said he "but his speech had one word that might as well +have been let alone: 'mere allegations' he called the charges; +the word 'mere,' at least, might have been spared, especially as +it is already strongly suspected on which side he leans!" + +I protested, and with truth, I had not heard the word in his +speech; but he still affirmed it. + +"Surely," I said, "he was as fair and impartial as possible: he +called the accusers 'so respectable!'" + +"Yes, but 'mere--mere' was no word for this occasion and it could +not be unguarded, for he would never come to + +Page 105 +speak in such a court as this, without some little thinking +beforehand. However, he is a fine fellow,--a very fine fellow! +and though, in his private life, guilty of so many inaccuracies, +in his public capacity I really hold him to be unexceptionable." + +This fairness, from an oppositionist professed, brought me at +once to easy terms with him. I begged him to inform me for what +reason, at the end of the chancellor's speech, there had been a +cry of "Hear! hear! hear him!" which had led me to expect another +speech, when I found no other seemed intended. He laughed very +much, and confessed that, as a parliament man, he was so used to +that absurdity, that he had ceased to regard it; for that it was +merely a mark of approbation to a speech already spoken; "And, in +fact, they only," cried he, "say 'Hear!' when there is nothing +more to be heard!" Then, still looking at the scene before him, +he suddenly laughed, and said, "I must not, to Miss Burney, make +this remark, but-it is observable that in the king's box sit the +Hawkesbury family, while, next to the Speaker, who is here as a +sort of representative of the king, sits Major Scott!" + +I knew his inference, of Court influence in favour of Mr. +Hastings, but I thought it best to let it pass quietly. I knew, +else, I should only be supposed under the same influence myself. +Looking still on, he next noticed the two archbishops. "And see," +cried he, "the Archbishop of York, Markham,--see how he affects +to read the articles of impeachment, as if he was still open to +either side! My good lord archbishop! your grace might, with +perfect safety, spare your eyes, for your mind has been made up +upon this subject before ever it was investigated. He holds +Hastings to be the greatest man in the world--for Hastings +promoted the interest of his son in the East Indies!" + + + WINDHAM INVEIGHS AGAINST WARREN HASTINGS. +Somewhat sarcastic, this - but I had as little time as power for +answering, since now, and suddenly, his eye dropped down upon +poor Mr. Hastings; the expression of his face instantly lost the +gaiety and ease with which it had addressed me; he stopped short +in his remarks; he fixed his eyes steadfastly on this new, and +but too interesting object, and after viewing him + +106 + +some time in a sort of earnest silence, he suddenly exclaimed as +if speaking to himself, and from an impulse irresistible +"What a sight is that! to see that man, that small portion of +human clay, that poor feeble machine of earth, enclosed now in +that little space, brought to that bar, a prisoner in a spot six +foot square--and to reflect on his late power! Nations at his +command! Princes prostrate at his feet!--What a change! how Must +he feel it!--" + +He stopped, and I said not a word. I was glad to see him thus +impressed; I hoped it might soften his enmity. I found, by his +manner, that he had never, from the committee box, looked at him. +He broke forth again, after a pause of Some length,--"Wonderful +indeed! almost past credibility, is such a reverse! He that, so +lately, had the Eastern world nearly at his beck; he, under whose +tyrant power princes and potentates sunk and trembled; he, whose +authority was without the reach of responsibility!--" + +Again he stopped, seeming struck, almost beyond the power of +speech, with meditative commiseration ; but then, suddenly +rousing himself, as if recollecting his "almost blunted purpose," +he passionately exclaimed, "Oh could those--the thousands, the +millions, who have groaned and languished under the iron rod of +his oppressions- -could they but--whatever region they inhabit-- +be permitted one dawn of light to look into this Hall, and see +him there! There--where he now stands--It might prove, perhaps, +some recompense for their sufferings!" + +I can hardly tell you, my dearest Susan, how shocked I felt at +these words! words so hard, and following sensations so much more +pitying and philosophic! I cannot believe Mr. Hastings guilty; I +feel in myself a strong internal evidence of his innocence, drawn +from all I have seen of him; I can only regard the prosecution as +a party affair; but yet, since his adversaries now openly stake +their names, fame, and character against him, I did not think it +decent to intrude such an opinion. I could only be sorry, and +silent. + +Still he looked at him, earnest in rumination, and as if unable +to turn away his eyes; and presently he again exclaimed, "How +wonderful an instance of the instability of mortal power is +presented ]In that object! From possessions so extensive, from a +despotism so uncontrolled. to see him, now there, in that small +circumference! In the history Of human nature how memorable will +be the records of this day! + +Page 107 + +a day that brings to the great tribunal of the nation a man whose +power, so short a time since, was of equal magnitude with his +crimes!" + +Good heaven! thought I, and do you really believe all this? Can +Mr. Hastings appear to you such a monster? and are you not merely +swayed by party? I could not hear him without shuddering, nor see +him thus in earnest without alarm. I thought myself no longer +bound to silence, since I saw, by the continuance as well as by +the freedom of his exclamations, he conceived me of the same +sentiments with himself; and therefore I hardily resolved to make +known to him that mistake, which, indeed, was a liberty that +seemed no longer impertinent, but a mere act of justice and +honesty. + +His very expressive pause, his eyes still steadfastly fixed on +Mr. Hastings, gave me ample opportunity for speaking - though I +had some little difficulty how to get out what I wished to say. +However, in the midst of his reverie, I broke forth, but not +without great hesitation, and, very humbly, I said, "Could you +pardon me, Mr. Windham, If I should forget, for a moment, that +you are a committee man, and speak to you frankly?" + +He looked surprised, but laughed at the question, and very +eagerly called out "Oh yes, yes, pray speak out, I beg it!" + +"Well, then, may I venture to say to you that I believe it +utterly impossible for any one, not particularly engaged on the +contrary side, ever to enter a court of justice, and not +instantly, and involuntarily, wish well to the prisoner!" + +His surprise subsided by this general speech, which I had not +courage to put in a more pointed way, and he very readily +answered, "'Tis natural, certainly, and what must almost +unavoidably be the first impulse; yet, where justice--" + +I stopped him; I saw I was not comprehended, and thought else he +might say something to stop me. + +"May I," I said, " go yet a little farther ? + +"Yes," cried he, with a very civil smile, "and I feel an assent +beforehand." + +" Supposing then, that even you, if that may be supposed, could +be divested of all knowledge of the particulars of this affair, +and in the same state of general Ignorance that I confess myself +to be, and could then, like me, have seen Mr. Hastings make his +entrance into this court, and looked at him when he was brought +to that bar; not even you, Mr. Windham, could then have reflected +on such a vicissitude for him, on all he has + +Page 108 + +left and all he has lost, and not have given him, like me, all +your best wishes the moment you beheld him." + +The promised assent came not, though he was too civil to +contradict me ; but still I saw he Understood me only in a +general sense. I feared going farther : a weak advocate is apt +to be a mischievous one and, as I knew nothing, it was not to a +professed enemy I could talk of what I only believed. +Recovering, now, from the strong emotion with which the sight of +Mr. Hastings had filled him, he looked again around the court, +and pointed out several of the principal characters present, with +arch and striking remarks upon each of them, all uttered with +high spirit, but none with ill-nature. + +("Pitt," cried he, "is not here!--a noble stroke that for the +annals of his administration! A trial is brought on by the whole +House of Commons In a body, and he is absent at the very opening! +However," added he, with a very meaning laugh, "I'm glad of it, +for 'tis to his eternal disgrace!" + +Mercy! thought I, what a friend to kindness Is party! + +"Do you see Scott?" cried he. + +"No, I never saw him; pray show him to me," + +"There he is, in green; just now by the Speaker, now moved by the +committee; in two minutes more he will be somewhere else, +skipping backwards and forwards; what a grasshopper it is!" + +"I cannot look at him," cried I, "without recollecting a very +extraordinary letter from him, that I read last summer in the +newspaper, where he answers some attack that he says has been +made upon him, because the term is used of 'a very insignificant +fellow,' and he printed two or three letters in 'The Public +Advertiser,' in following days, to prove, with great care and +pains, that he knew it was all meant as an abuse of himself, from +those words!" + +"And what," cried he, laughing, "do you say to that notion now +you see him?" + +"That no one," cried I, examining him with my glass, "can +possibly dispute his claim!" + +What pity that Mr. Hastings should have trusted his cause to so +frivolous an agent! I believe, and indeed it is the general +belief, both of foes and friends, that to his officious and +injudicious zeal the present prosecution is wholly owing. + +Next, Mr. Windham pointed out Mr. Francis to me. 'TIS a singular +circumstance, that the friend who most loves and the enemy Who +most hates Mr. Hastings should bear the same + +Page 109 + +name!(264) Mr. Windham, with all the bias of party, gave me then +the highest character of this Mr. Francis, whom he called one of +the most ill-used of men. Want of documents how to answer forced +me to be silent, oppositely as I thought. But it was a very +unpleasant situation to me, as I saw that Mr. Windham still +conceived me to have no other interest than a common, and +probably to his mind, a weak compassion for the prisoner--that +prisoner who, frequently looking around, saw me, I am certain, +and saw with whom I was engaged. + +The subject of Mr. Francis again drew him back to Mr. Hastings, +but with more severity of mind. "A prouder heart," cried he, "an +ambition more profound, were never, I suppose, lodged in any +mortal mould than in that man! With what a port he entered! did +you observe him? his air! I saw not his face, but his air his +port!" + +"Surely there," cried I, "he could not be to blame! He comes upon +his defence; ought he to look as if he gave himself up?" + +"Why no; 'tis true he must look what vindication to himself he +can; we must not blame him there." + +Encouraged by this little concession, I resolved to venture +farther, and once more said "May I again, Mr. Windham, forget +that you are a committee-man, and say something not fit for a +committee man to hear?" + +"O yes!" cried he, laughing very much, and looking extremely +curious. + +"I must fairly, then, own myself utterly ignorant upon this +subject, and--and--may I go on?" + +"I beg you will!" + +"Well, then,--and originally prepossessed in favour of the +object!" + +He quite started, and with a look of surprise from which all +pleasure was separated, exclaimed--"Indeed!" + +"Yes!" cried I, "'tis really true, and really out, now!" + +"For Mr. Hastings, prepossessed!" he repeated, in a tone that +seemed to say--do you not mean Mr. Burke? + +Page 110 + +"Yes," I said, "for Mr. Hastings! But I should not have presumed +to own it just at this time,--so little as I am able to do honour +to my prepossession by any materials to defend it,--but that you +have given me courage, by appearing so free from all malignity in +the business. Tis, therefore, Your own fault!" + +"But can you speak seriously," cried he, " "when You say you know +nothing of this business?" + +"Very seriously: I never entered into it at all; it was always +too intricate to tempt me." + +"But, surely you must have read the charges?" + +"No; they are so long, I had never the courage to begin." + +The conscious look with which he heard this, brought--all too +late--to my remembrance, that one of them was drawn up, and +delivered in the House, by himself! I was really very sorry to +have been so unfortunate; but I had no way to call back the +words, so was quiet, perforce. + +"Come then," cried he, emphatically, "to hear Burke! come and +listen to him, and you will be mistress of the whole. Hear +Burke, and read the charges of the Begums, and then you will form +your judgment without difficulty." + +I would rather (thought I) hear him upon any other subject: but I +made no answer; I only said, "Certainly, I can gain nothing by +what is going forward to-day. I meant to come to the opening +now, but it seems rather like the shutting up!" + +He was not to be put off. "You will come, however, to hear +Burke? To hear truth, reason, justice, eloquence! You will then +see, in other colours, 'That man!' There is more cruelty, more +oppression, more tyranny, in that little machine, with an +arrogance, a self-confidence, unexampled, unheard of!" + + + MISS BURNEY BATTLES FOR THE ACCUSED. + +"Indeed, sir!" cried I; "that does not appear, to those who know +him and--I--know him a little." + +"Do you?" cried he earnestly; "personally, do you know him?" + +"Yes; and from that knowledge arose this prepossession I have +confessed." + +"Indeed, what you have seen of him have you then so much +approved?" + +"Yes, very much! I must own the truth!" + +"But you have not seen much of him?" + +Page 111 + +"No, not lately. My first knowledge of him was almost +immediately upon his coming from India; I had heard nothing of +all these accusations; I had never been in the way of hearing +them, and knew not even that there were any to be heard. I saw +him, therefore, quite without prejudice, for or against him ; and +indeed, I must own, he soon gave me a strong interest in his +favour." + +The surprise with which he heard me must have silenced me on the +subject, had it not been accompanied with an attention so earnest +as to encourage me still to proceed. It is evident to me that +this committee live so much shut Lip with one another, that they +conclude all the world of the same opinions with themselves, and +universally imagine that the tyrant they think themselves +pursuing is a monster in every part of his life, and held in +contempt and abhorrence by all mankind. Could I then be sorry, +seeing this, to contribute my small mite towards clearing, at +least, so very wide a mistake? On the contrary, when I saw he +listened, I was most eager to give him all I could to hear, + +"I found him," I continued, "so mild, so gentle, so extremely +pleasing in his manners--" + +"Gentle!" cried he, with quickness. + +"Yes, Indeed; gentle even to humility--" + +"Humility? Mr. Hastings and humility!" + +"Indeed it is true; he is perfectly diffident in the whole of his +manner, when engaged in conversation; and so much struck was I, +at that very time, by seeing him so simple, so unassuming, when +just returned from a government that had accustomed him to a +power superior to our monarchs here, that it produced an effect +upon my mind in his favour which nothing can erase!" + +"Yes, Yes!" cried he, with great energy, "you will give it up! +you must lose it, must give it up! it will be plucked away, +rooted wholly out of your mind ." + +"Indeed, sir," cried I, steadily, "I believe not!" + +"You believe not?" repeated he, with added animation; "then there +will be the more glory in making you a convert!" + +If "conversion" is the word, thought I, I would rather make than +be made. + +"But --Mr. Windham," cried I, "all my amazement now is at your +condescension in speaking to me upon this business at all, when I +have confessed to you my total ignorance of the subject, and my +original prepossession in favour of the object. Why + +Page 112 + +do you not ask me when I was at the play ? and how I liked the +last opera?" + +He laughed; and we talked on a little while in that strain, till +again, suddenly fixing his eyes on poor Mr. Hastings, his gaiety +once more vanished, and he gravely and severely examined his +countenance. "'Tis surely," cried he, "an unpleasant one. He +does not know, I suppose, 'tis reckoned like his own!" + +"How should he," cried I, "look otherwise than unpleasant here?" + +"True," cried he; "yet still, I think, his features, his look, +his whole expression, unfavourable to him. I never saw him but +once before; that was at the bar of the House of Commons and +there, as Burke admirably said, he looked, when first he glanced +an eye against him, like a hungry tiger, ready to howl for his +prey!" + +"Well," cried I, "I am sure he does not look fierce now! +Contemptuous, a little, I think he does look!" + +I was sorry I used this word; yet its truth forced it to escape +me. He did not like it; he repeated it; he could not but be sure +the contempt could only be levelled at his prosecutors. I feared +discussion, and flew off as fast as I could, to softer ground. +"It was not," cried I, "with that countenance he gave me my +prepossession! Very differently, indeed, he looked then!" + +"And can he ever look pleasant? can that face ever obtain an +expression that is pleasing?" + +"Yes, indeed and in truth, very pleasant! It was in the country +I first saw him, and without any restraint on his part; I saw +him, therefore, perfectly natural and easy. And no one, let me +say, could so have seen him without being pleased with him--his +quietness and serenity, joined to his intelligence and +information--" + +"His information?--in what way?" + +"In such a way as suited his hearer: not upon committee +business--of all that I knew nothing. The only conversation in +which I could mix was upon India, considered simply as, a country +in which he had travelled; and his communications upon the +people, the customs, habits, cities, and whatever I could name, +were so instructive as well as entertaining, that I think I never +recollect gaining more intelligence, or more pleasantly conveyed, +from any conversation in which I ever have been engaged." + + +Page 113 + +To this he listened with an attention that, but for the secret +zeal which warmed me must have silenced and shamed me. I am +satisfied this committee have concluded Mr. Hastings a mere man +of blood, with slaughter and avarice for his sole ideas! The +surprise with which he heard this just testimony to his social +abilities was only silent from good-breeding, but his eyes +expressed what his tongue withheld; something that satisfied me +he concluded + +I had undesignedly been duped by him. I answered this silence by +saying "There was no object for hypocrisy, for it was quite in +retirement I met with him : it was not lately ; it is near two +years since I have seen him; he had therefore no point to gain +with me, nor was there any public character, nor any person +whatever, that Could induce him to act a part; yet was he all I +have said-informing, Communicative, instructive, and at the same +time, gentle and highly pleasing." + +"Well," said he, very civilly, "I begin the less to wonder, now, +that You have adhered to his side; but--" + +"To see him, then," cried I, stopping his 'but,'--"to see him +brought to that bar! and kneeling at it!--indeed, Mr. Windham, I +must own to you, I could hardly keep my seat--hardly forbear +rising and running out of the Hall." + +"Why, there," cried he, "I agree with you! 'Tis certainly a +humiliation not to be wished or defended: it is, indeed, a mere +ceremony, a mere formality; but it is a mortifying one, and so +obsolete, so unlike the practices of the times, so repugnant from +a gentleman to a gentleman, that I myself +looked another way: it hurt me, and I wished it dispensed with." + +"O, Mr. Windham," cried I, surprised and pleased, "and can you be +so liberal?" + +"Yes," cried he, laughing, "but 'tis only to take you in!" + +Afterwards he asked what his coat was, whether blue Or purple; +and said, "is it not customary for a prisoner to come black?" + +"Whether or not," quoth I, "I am heartily glad he has not done +it; why should he seem so dismal, so shut out from hope?" + +"Why, I believe he is in the right. I think he has judged that +not ill." + +"O, don't be so candid," cried I, "I beg you not." + +"Yes, yes, I must; and you know the reason," cried he, gaily; but +presently exclaimed, "one unpleasant thing belong- + +Page 114 + +ing to being a manager is that I must now go and show myself in +the committee." +And then he very civilly bowed, and went down to his box, leaving +me much persuaded that I had never yet been engaged in a +conversation so curious, from its circumstances, in my life. The +warm well-wisher myself of the prisoner, though formerly the +warmest admirer of his accuser, engaged, even at his trial and in +his presence, in so open a discussion with one of his principal +prosecutors; and the queen herself in full view, unavoidably +beholding me in close and eager conference with an avowed member +of the opposition! + +These circumstances made me at first enter into discourse with +Mr. Windham with the utmost reluctance ; but though I wished to +shun him, I could not, when once attacked, decline to converse +with him. It would but injure the cause of Mr. Hastings to seem +to fear hearing the voice of his accusers; and it could but be +attributed to undue court-influence had I avoided any intercourse +with an acquaintance so long ago established as a member of the +opposition. + + + A WEARIED M.P.-MR. CRUTCHLEY REAPPEARS. + +In the midst of the opening of a trial such as this, so important +to the country as well as to the individual who is tried, what +will you say to a man--a member of the House of Commons who kept +exclaiming almost perpetually, just at my side, "What a bore!- +-when will it be over?--Must one come any more?--I had a great +mind not to have come at all.--Who's that?--Lady Hawkesbury and +the Copes?--Yes.--A pretty girl, Kitty.--Well, when will they +have done?--I wish they'd call the question--I should vote it a +bore at once! + +just such exclamations as these were repeated, without +intermission, till the gentleman departed: and who should it be +that spoke with so much legislative wisdom but Mr. W---! + +In about two or three hours--this reading still lasting--Mr. +Crutchley came to me again. He, too, was so wearied, that he was +departing; but he stayed some time to talk over our constant +topic--my poor Mrs. Thrale. How little does he suspect the +interest I unceasingly take in her--the avidity with which I +seize every opportunity to gather the smallest intelligence +concerning her! + +One little trait of Mr. Crutchley, so characteristic of that +queerness which distinguishes him, I must mention. He said + +Page 115 + +he questioned whether he should comme any more: I told him I had +imagined the attendance of every member to be indispensable. +"No," cried he, "ten to one if another day they are able to make +a house!" + +"The Lords, however, I suppose, must come?" + +"Not unless they like it." + +" But I hear if they do not attend they have no tickets." + +"Why, then, Miss Primrose and Miss Cowslip must stay away too!" + +I had the pleasure to find him entirely for Mr. Hastings, and to +hear he had constantly voted on his side through every stage of +the business. He is a very independent man, and a man of real +good character, and, with all his oddity, of real understanding. +We compared notes very amicably upon this subject, and both +agreed that those who looked for every flaw in the conduct of a +man in so high and hazardous a station, ought first to have +weighed his merits and his difficulties. + + + MR. WINDHAM DISCUSSES THE IMPEACHMENT. + +A far more interesting conference, however, was now awaiting me. +Towards the close of the day Mr. Windham very unexpectedly came +again from the committee-box, and seated himself by my side. I +was glad to see by this second visit that my frankness had not +offended him. He began, too, in so open and social a manner, +that I was satisfied he forgave it. + +"I have been," cried he, "very busy since I left you.--writing-- +reading--making documents." + +I saw he was much agitated ; the gaiety which seems natural to +him was flown, and had left in its place the most evident and +unquiet emotion. I looked a little surprised, and rallying +himself, in a few moments he inquired if I wished for any +refreshment, and proposed fetching me some. But, well as I liked +him for a conspirator, I could not break bread with him! + +I thought now all was over of communication between us, but I was +mistaken. He spoke for a minute or two upon the crowd--early +hour of coming--hasty breakfasting and such general nothings; and +then, as if involuntarily, he returned to the sole subject on +his mind. + +"Our plan," cried he, "is all changing: we have all been busy--we +are coming into a new method. I have been making preparations--I +did not intend speaking for a considerable time--not till after +the circuit, but now, I may be called upon, I know not how soon." + +Page 116 + +Then he stopped--ruminating--and I let him ruminate without +interruption for some minutes, when he broke forth with these +reflections: "How strange, how infatuated a frailty has man with +respect to the future! Be our views, our designs, our +anticipations what they may, we are never prepared for it!--It +always takes us by surprise--always comes before we look for it!" + +He stopped; but I waited his explanation without speaking, and, +after pausing thoughtfully for some time, he went on: + +"This day--for which we have all been waiting so anxiously, so +earnestly--the day for which we have fought, for which we have +struggled--a day, indeed, of national glory, in bringing to this +great tribunal a delinquent from so high an office--this day, so +much wished, has seemed to me, to the last moment, so distant, +that now--now that it Is actually arrived, it takes me as if I +had never thought of it before--it comes upon me all unexpected, +and finds me unready!" + +Still I said nothing, for I did not fully comprehend him, till he +added, "I will not be so affected as to say to you that I have +made no preparation--that I have not thought a little upon what I +have to do; yet now that the moment is actually come--" + +Again he broke off. but a generous sentiment was, bursting from +him, and would not be withheld. + +"It has brought me," he resumed, "a feeling of which I am not yet +quite the master! What I have said hitherto, when I have spoken +in the house, has been urged and stimulated by the idea of +pleading for the injured and the absent, and that gave me spirit. +Nor do I tell you (with a half-conscious smile) that the ardour +of the prosecution went for nothing--a prosecution in favour of +oppressed millions! But now,. when I am to speak here, the +thought of that man, close to my side--culprit as he is--that man +on whom all the odium is to fall--gives me, I own, a sensation +that almost disqualifies me beforehand!" . . . + +"That this day was ever brought about," continued he, "must ever +remain a noble memorial of courage and perseverance in the +Commons. Every possible obstacle has been thrown in our way-- +every art of government has been at work to impede us--nothing +has been left untried to obstruct us--every check and clog of +power and influence." + +"Not by him," cried I, looking at poor Mr. Hastings; "he has +raised no impediments--he has been wholly careless." + +Page 117 + +"Come," cried he, with energy, "come and hear Burke!--Come but +and hear him!--'tis an eloquence irresistible!--a torrent that +sweeps all before it with the force of a whirlwind! It will Cure +You, indeed, of your prepossession, but it will give you truth +and right in its place. What discoveries has he not made!--what +gulfs has he not dived into! Come and hear him, and your conflict +will end!" +I could hardly stand this, and, to turn it off', asked him if Mr. +Hastings was to make his own defence? + +"No," he answered, "he will only speak by counsel. But do not +regret that, for his own sake, as he is not used to public +speaking, and has some impediment in his speech besides. He +writes wonderfully--there he shines--and with a facility quite +astonishing. Have you ever happened to see any of his writings?" + +"No: only one short account, which he calls 'Memoirs relative to +some India transactions,' and that struck me to be extremely +unequal--in some places strong and finely expressed, In others +obscure and scarce intelligible." + +"That is just the case--that ambiguity runs through him in +everything. Burke has found an admirable word for it in the +Persian tongue, for which we have no translation, but it means an +intricacy involved so deep as to be nearly unfathomable--an +artificial entanglement." + +I inquired how it was all to end--whether this reading was to +continue incessantly, or any speaking was to follow it? + +"I have not inquired how that is," he answered, "but I believe +you will now soon be released." + +"And will the chancellor speak to adjourn?" + +"I cannot tell what the form may be, or how we are to be +dissolved. I think myself there is nothing more difficult than +how to tell people they may go about their business. I remember, +when I was in the militia, it was just what I thought the most +awkward, when I had done with my men. Use gives one the habit; +and I found, afterwards, there was a regular mode for it: but, at +first, I found it very embarrassing how to get rid of them." + +Nothing excites frankness like frankness ; and I answered him in +return with a case of my own. "When first I came to my present +residence I was perpetually," I said, "upon the point of making a +blunder with the queen; for when, after she had honoured me with +any conversation, she used to say 'Now I won't keep you--now I +will detain you no longer,' . + +Page 118 +I was always ready to answer, 'Ma'am, I am in no haste,- ma'am, I +don't wish to go!' for I was not, at first, aware that it was +only her mode of dismissing people from her presence." + + + +WINDHAM AFFECTS TO COMMISERATE HASTINGS. + +Again he was going: but glancing his eyes once more down upon Mr. +Hastings, he almost sighed--he fetched, at least, a deep breath, +while he exclaimed with strong emotion, "What a place for a man +to stand in to hear what he has to hear!--'tis almost too much!" + +It would not be easy to tell you how touching at such a time was +the smallest concession from an avowed opponent, and I could not +help exclaiming again, "O, Mr. Windham, you must not be so +liberal!" + +"O!" cried he, smiling, and recovering himself, "'tis all the +deeper malice, only to draw you in!" + +Still, however, he did not go : he kept gazing upon Mr. Hastings +till he seemed almost fascinated to the spot; and presently +after, growing more and more open in his discourse, he began to +talk to me of Sir Elijah Impey. I presume my dearest friends, +little as they hear of politics and state business, must yet know +that the House of Commons is threatening Sir Elijah with an +impeachment, to succeed that of Mr. Hastings, and all upon East +India transactions of the same date.(265) + +When he had given me his sentiments upon this subject, which I +had heard with that sort of quietness that results from total +ignorance of the matter, joined to total ignorance of the person +concerned, he drew a short comparison, which, nearly, from him, +and at such a moment, drew the tears from my eyes--nearly do I +say?--Indeed more than that! + +"Sir Elijah," cried he, "knows how to go to work, and by getting +the lawyers to side with him professionally, has set + +Page 119 + +about his defence in the most artful manner. He is not only +wicked, but a very pitiful fellow. Let him but escape fine or +imprisonment, and he will pocket all indignity, and hold himself +happy in getting off: but Hastings (again looking steadfastly at +him)--Hastings has feeling--'tis a proud feeling, an ambitious +feeling--but feeling he has! Hastings--come to him what may-- +fine, imprisonment, whatsoever is inflicted--all will be nothing. +The moment of his punishment--I think it, upon my honour!--was +the moment that brought him to that bar!" + +When he said "I think it, upon my honour," he laid his hand on +his breast, as if he implied, "I acquit him henceforward." + +Poor Mr. Hastings! One generous enemy he has at least, who +pursues him with public hate, but without personal malignity! yet +sure I feel he can deserve neither! + +I did not spare to express my sense of this liberality from a +foe; for, indeed, the situation I was in, and the sight of Mr. +Hastings, made it very affecting to me. He was affected too, +himself; but presently, rising, he said with great quickness, "I +must shake all. this off; I must have done with it--dismiss it-- +forget that he is there." + +"O, no," cried I, earnestly, "do not forget it!" + +"Yes, yes; I must." + +" No, remember it rather," cried I; "I could almost (putting up +my hands as if praying) do thus and then, like poor Mr. Hastings +just now to the house, drop down on my knees to you, to call out +'Remember it.'" + +"Yes, Yes," cried he, precipitately, "how else shall I go on? I +must forget that he is there, and that you are here." And then +he hurried down to his committee. + +Was it not a most singular scene ? + +I had afterwards to relate great part of this to the queen +herself. She saw me engaged in such close discourse, and with +such apparent interest on both sides, with Mr. Windham, that I +knew she must else form conjectures innumerable. So candid, so +liberal is the mind of the queen, that she not only heard me with +the most favourable attention towards Mr. Windham, but was +herself touched even to tears by the relation. + +We stayed but a short time after this last conference ; for +nothing more was attempted than reading on the charges and +answers, in the same useless manner, + +120 + + MISS BURNEY IS AGAIN PRESENT AT HASTINGS'S TRIAL.. +The interest of this trial was so much upon my mind, that I have +not kept even a memorandum of what passed from the 13th of +February to the day when I went again to Westminster Hall; nor, +except renewing the Friday Oratorios with Mrs. Ord, do I +recollect one circumstance. + +The second time that the queen, who saw my wishes, indulged me +with one of her tickets, and a permission of absence for the +trial, was to hear Mr. Burke, for whom my curiosity and my +interest stood the highest. One ticket, however, would not do; I +could not go alone, and the queen had bestowed all her other' +tickets before she discovered that this was a day in my +particular wishes. She entered into my perplexity with a +sweetness the most gracious, and when I knew not how to obviate +it, commanded me to write to the Duchess of Ancaster, and beg +permission to be put under the wing of her grace, or any of her +friends that were going to the Hall. + +The duchess, unluckily, did not go, from indisposition, nor any +of her family; but she sent me a very obliging letter, and +another ticket from Sir Peter Burrell, to use for a companion. + +I fixed upon James, who, I knew, wished to hear Mr. Burke for +once, and we went together very comfortably. When the managers, +who, as before, made the first procession, by entering their box +below us, were all arranged, one from among them, whom I knew +not, came up into the seats of the House of Commons by our side, +and said, "Captain Burney, I am very glad to see you." + +"How do you do, sir ?" answered James; "here I am, come to see +the fine show." + +Upon this the attacker turned short upon his heel, and abruptly +walked away, descending into the box, which he did not quit any +more. I inquired who he was; General Burgoyne, James told me. +"A manager!" cried I, "and one of the chargers! and you treat the +business of the Hall with such contempt to his face!" + +James laughed heartily at his own uncourtly address, but I would +not repent, though he acknowledged he saw the offence his slight +and slighting speech had given. + +Fearful lest he should proceed in the same style with my friend +Mr. Windham, I kept as aloof as possible, to avoid his notice, +entreating James at the same time to have the complaisance to be +silent upon this subject, should he discover me + +Page 121 + +and approach. My own sentiments were as opposite to those of the +managers as his, and I had not scrupled to avow honestly my +dissent; but I well knew Mr. Windham might bear, and even +respect, from a female, the same openness of opposition that +might be highly offensive to him from a man. But I could obtain +no positive promise; he would only compromise with my request, +and agree not to speak unless applied to first. This, however, +contented me, as Mr. Windham was too far embarked in his +undertaking to solicit any opinion upon it from accidentally +meeting any common acquaintance. + +>From young Burke and his uncle Richard I had bows from the +committee box. Mr. Windham either saw me not, or was too much +engaged in business to ascend. + + + + BURKE'.S SPEECH IN SUPPORT OF THE CHARGES. +At length the peers' procession closed, the prisoner was brought +in, and Mr. Burke began his speech. It was the second day of his +harangue;(266) the first I had not been able to attend. + +All I had heard of his eloquence, and all I had conceived of his +great abilities, was more than answered by his performance. +Nervous, clear, and striking was almost all that he uttered: the +main business, indeed, of his coming forth was frequently +neglected, and not seldom wholly lost , but his excursions were +so fanciful, so entertaining, and so ingenious, that no +miscellaneous hearer, like myself, could blame them. It is true +he was unequal, but his inequality produced an effect which, in +so long a speech, was perhaps preferable to greater consistency +since, though it lost attention in its falling off, it recovered +it with additional energy by some ascent unexpected and +wonderful. When he narrated, he was easy, flowing, and natural; +when he declaimed, energetic, warm, and brilliant. The +sentiments he interspersed were as nobly conceived as they were +highly coloured; his satire had a poignancy of wit that made it +as entertaining as it was penetrating; his allusions and +quotations, as far as they were English and within my reach, were +apt and ingenious - and the wild and sudden flights of his fancy, +bursting forth from his creative imagination in language fluent, +forcible, and varied, had a charm for my ear and my attention +wholly new and perfectly irresistible. + +Were talents such as these exercised in the service of truth, + +Page 122 + +unbiased by party and prejudice, how could we sufficiently +applaud their exalted possessor? But though frequently he made +me tremble by his strong and horrible representations, +his own violence recovered me, by stigmatizing his assertions +with personal ill-will and designing illiberality. Yet, at times +I confess, with all that I felt, wished, and thought concerning +Mr. Hastings, the whirlwind of his eloquence nearly drew me into +its vortex. I give no particulars of the speech, because they +will all be printed. + +The observations and whispers of our keen as well as honest +James, during the whole, were highly characteristic and +entertaining. + +"When will he come to the point?"-"These are mere words!"--"This +is all sheer detraction!"--"All this is nothing to the purpose!" +etc., etc. + +"Well, ma'am, what say you to all this? how have you been +entertained?" cried a voice at my side; and I saw Mr. Crutchley, +who came round to speak to me. + +"Entertained?" cried I, "indeed, not at all, it is quite too +serious and too horrible for entertainment: you ask after my +amusement as if I were at an opera or a comedy." + +"A comedy?" repeated he, contemptuously, "no, a farce! It is not +high enough for a comedy. To hear a man rant such stuff. But +you should have been here the first day he spoke; this is milk +and honey to that. He said then, ' His heart was as black--as-- +black!' and called him the captain-general of iniquity." + +"Hush! hush!" cried I, for he spoke very loud; "that young man +you see down there, who is looking up, is his son." + +"I know it," cried he, "and what do I care?" +How I knew Mr. Crutchley again, by his ready talent of defiance, +and disposition to contempt ! I was called aside from him by +James. + +Mr. Crutchley retired, and Mr. Windham quitted his den, and +approached me, with a smile of good-humour and satisfaction that +made me instantly exclaim, "No exultation, Mr. Windham, no +questions; don't ask me what I think of the speech; I can bear no +triumph just now." + +"No, indeed," cried he, very civilly, "I will not, I promise you, +and you may depend upon me." + +He then spoke to James, regretting with much politeness that he +had seen so little of him when he was his neighbour in Norfolk, +and attributing it to the load of India business he had carried +into the country to study. I believe I have mentioned + +Page 123 + +that Felbrig, Mr. Windham's seat, is within a few miles of my +brother-in-law, Mr. Francis's house at Aylsham. + +After this, however, ere we knew where we were, we began +commenting upon the speech. It was impossible to refuse applause +to its able delivery and skilful eloquence; I, too, who so long +had been amongst the warmest personal admirers of Mr. Burke, +could least of all withhold from him the mite of common justice. +In talking over the speech, therefore, while I kept clear of its +purpose, I gave to its execution the amplest praise; and I +secretly grieved that I held back more blame than I had +commendation to bestow. + +He had the good breeding to accept it just as I offered it, +without claiming more, or endeavouring to entangle me in my +approbation. He even checked himself, voluntarily, when he was +asking me some question of my conversion, by stopping short, and +saying, "But, no, it is not fair to press you; I must not do +that." + +"You cannot," cried I, "press me too much, with respect to my +admiration of the ability of the speaker; I never more wished to +have written short-hand. I must content myself, however, that I +have at least a long memory." + +He regretted very much that I had missed the first opening of the +speech, and gave me some account of it, adding, I might judge +what I had lost then by what I had heard now. + +I frankly confessed that the two stories which Mr. Burke had +narrated had nearly overpowered me; they were pictures of cruelty +so terrible. + +"But General Caillot," cried he, smiling, "the hero of one of +them, you would be tempted to like: he is as mild, as meek, as +gentle in his manners--" + +I saw he was going to say "As your Mr. Hastings;" but I +interrupted him hastily, calling out, "Hush! hush! Mr. Windham; +would you wish me in future to take to nothing but lions? + + + FURTHER CONVERSATION WITH MR. WINDHAM. + +We then went into various other particulars of the speech, till +Mr. Windham observed that Mr. Hastings was looking up, and, after +examining him some time, said he did not like his countenance. I +could have told him that he is generally reckoned extremely like +himself but after such an observation I would not venture, and +only said, "Indeed, he is cruelly altered: it + +Page 124 + +was not so he looked when I conceived for him that prepossession +I have owned to you." + +"Altered, is he?" cried he, biting his lips and looking somewhat +shocked. + +"Yes, and who can wonder? Indeed, it is quite affecting to see +him sit there to hear such things." + +"I did not see him," cried he, eagerly "I did not think it right +to look at him during the speech, nor from the committeebox; and, +therefore, I constantly kept my eyes another way." + +I -had a great inclination to beg he would recommend a little of +the same decency to some of his colleagues, among whom are three +or four that even stand on the benches to examine him, during the +severest strictures, with opera-glasses. Looking at him again +now, myself, I could not see his pale face and haggard eye +without fresh concern, nor forbear to exclaim, "Indeed, Mr. +Windham, this is a dreadful business!" He seemed a little struck +with this exclamation; and, lest it should offend him, I hastened +to add, in apology, "You look so little like a bloody-minded +prosecutor, that I forget I ought not to say these things to +you." + +"Oh!" cried he, laughing, "we are only prosecutors +there--(pointing to the committee-box), we are at play up here." +. . . + +I wished much to know when he was himself to speak, and made +sundry inquiries relative to the progress of the several +harangues, but all without being comprehended, till at length I +cried, "In short, Mr. Windham, I want to know when everybody +speaks." + +He started, and cried with precipitancy, "Do you mean me?" + +"Yes." + +"No, I hope not; I hope you have no wants about my miserable +speaking?" + +I Only laughed, and we talked for some time of other things; and +then, suddenly, he burst forth with, "But you have really made me +a little uneasy by what you dropped just now." + +"And what was that?" + +"Something like an intention of hearing me." + +"Oh, if that depended wholly on myself, I should certainly do +it." + +"No, I hope not! I would not have you here on any account. If +you have formed any expectations, it will give me great concern." + +"Pray don't be uneasy about that; for whatever expectations + +Page 125 + +I may have formed, I had much rather have them disappointed." + +" Ho! ho!--you come, then," cried he, pointedly, "to hear me, by +way of soft ground to rest upon, after the hard course you will +have been run with these higher-spirited speakers?" . . . He +desired me not to fail to come and hear Fox. My chances, I told +him, were very uncertain, and Friday was the earliest of them. +"He speaks on Thursday," cried he, "and indeed you should hear +him." + +"Thursday is my worst chance of all," I answered, "for it is the +Court-day." + +"And is there no dispensation ? " cried he ; and then, +recollecting himself, and looking very archly at Mr. Fox, who was +just below us, he added, "No,--true--not for him!" + +"Not for any body!" cried I; "on a Court-day my attendance is as +necessary, and I am dressed out as fine, and almost as stiff, as +those heralds are here." I then told him what were my Windsor +days, and begged he would not seize one of them to speak himself. + +"By no means," cried he, quite seriously, "would I have you +here!--stay away, and only let me hope for your good wishes." + +" I shall be quite sincere," cried I, laughing, "and own to you +that stay away I shall not, if I can possibly come; but as to my +good wishes, I have not, in this case, one to give you!" + +He heard this with a start that was almost a jump. "What!" he +exclaimed, "would you lay me under your judgment without your +mercy?--Why this is heavier than any penal statute." + +He spoke this with an energy that made Mr. Fox look up, to see to +whom he addressed his speech: but before I could answer it, poor +James, tired of keeping his promised circumspection, advanced his +head to join the conversation; and so much was I alarmed lest he +should burst forth into some unguarded expression of his vehement +hatred to the cause, which could not but have irritated its +prosecutors, that the moment I perceived his motion and +intention, I abruptly took my leave of Mr. Windham, and surprised +poor James into a necessity of following me. + +Indeed I was now most eager to depart, from a circumstance that +made me feel infinitely awkward. Mr. Burke himself was just come +forward, to speak to a lady a little below me; Mr. Windham had +instantly turned towards me, with a look of congratulation that +seemed rejoicing for me, that the orator + +Page 126 + +of the day, and of the cause, was approaching,; but I retreated +involuntarily back, and shirked meeting his eyes. He perceived +in an instant the mistake he was making, and went on with his +discourse as if Mr. Burke was out of the Hall. In a minute, +however, Mr. Burke himself saw me, and he bowed with the most +marked civility of manner; my courtesy was the most ungrateful, +distant, and cold ; I could not do otherwise ; so hurt I felt to +see him the head of such a cause, so impossible I found it to +titter one word of admiration for a performance whose nobleness +was so disgraced by its tenour, and so conscious was I the whole +time that at such a moment to say nothing must seem almost an +affront, that I hardly knew which way to look, or what to do with +myself.(267) +' +In coming downstairs I met Lord Walsingham and Sir Lucas Pepys. +"Well, Miss Burney," cried the first, "what say you to a +governor-general of India now?" + +"Only this," cried I, "that I do not dwell much upon any question +till I have heard its answer!" + +Sir Lucas then attacked me too. All the world against poor Mr. +Hastings, though without yet knowing what his materials may be +for clearing away these aspersions! + + + + Miss FUZILIER LIKELY TO PECONIE MRS, FAIRLY, +February.-Her majesty at this time was a little indisposed, and +we missed going to Windsor for a fortnight, during which I +received visits of inquiry from divers of her ladies--Mrs. +Brudenell, bed-chamber woman; Miss Brudenell, her daughter, and a +maid of honour elect, would but one of that class please to marry +or die; Miss Tryon and Miss Beauclerk, maids of honour, neither +of them in a firm way to oblige Miss Brudenell, being nothing +approaching to death, though far advanced from marriage; and +various others. + +Miss Brudenell's only present hope is said to be in Miss +Fuzilier,(268) who is reported, with what foundation I know not, + +Page 127 + +to be likely to become Mrs. Fairly. She is pretty, learned, and +accomplished ; yet, from the very little I have seen of her, I +should not think she had heart enough to satisfy Mr. Fairly, in +whose character the leading trait is the most acute sensibility, +However, I have heard he has disclaimed all such intention, with +high indignation at the report, as equally injurious to the +delicacy both of Miss Fuzilier and himself, so recently after his +loss. + + + + THE HASTINGS TRIAL AGAIN: MR. FOX IN A RAGE. +And now for my third Westminster Hall, which, by the queen's own +indulgent order, was with dear Charlott and Sarah. It was also +to hear Mr. Fox, and I was very glad to let Mr. Windham see a +"dispensation" was attainable, though the cause was accidental, +since the queen's cold prevented the Drawing-room.(269) + +We went early, yet did not get very good places. The managers at +this time were all in great wrath at a decision made the night +before by the Lords, upon a dispute between them and the counsel +for Mr. Hastings, which turned entirely in favour of the +latter.(270) When they entered their committee-box, led on as +usual by Mr. Burke, they all appeared in the extremest and most +angry emotion. + +When they had caballed together some time, Mr. Windham came up +among the Commons, to bow to some ladies of his acquaintance, and +then to speak to me ; but he was so agitated and so disconcerted, +he could name nothing but their recent provocation from the +Lords. He seemed quite enraged, and broke forth with a vehemence +I should not much have liked to have excited. They had +experienced, he said, in the late decision, the Most injurious +treatment that could be offered them: the Lords had resolved upon +saving Mr. Hastings, and +the chancellor had taken him under the grossest protection. + +Page 128 + +"In short," said he, "the whole business is taken out of our +hands, and they have all determined to save him." + +"Have they indeed?" cried I, with Involuntary eagerness. + +"Yes," answered he, perceiving how little I was shocked for him, +"it is now all going your way." + +I could not pretend to be sorry, and only inquired if Mr. Fox was +to speak. + +"I know not," cried he, hastily, "what is to be done, who will +speak, or what will be resolved. Fox is in a rage! Oh, a rage!" + +"But yet I hope he will speak. I have never heard him." + +"No? not the other day?" + +"No; I was then at Windsor." + +"Oh yes, I remember you told me you were going. You have lost +every thing by it! To-day will be nothing, he is all rage! On +Tuesday he was great indeed. You should have heard him then. +And Burke, You should have heard the conclusion of Burke's +speech; 'twas the noblest ever uttered by man!" + +"So I have been told." + +"To-day you will hear nothing--know nothing,--there will be no +opportunity,- Fox is all fury." + +I told him he almost frightened me; for he spoke in a tremor +himself that was really unpleasant. + +"Oh!" cried he, looking at me half reproachfully, half +goodhumouredly, "Fox's fury is with the Lords--not there!" +pointing to Mr. Hastings. + +I saw by this he entered into my feelings in the midst of his +irritability, and that gave me courage to cry out, "I am glad of +that at least!: + +Mr. Fox spoke five hours, and with a violence that did not make +me forget what I had heard of his being in such a fury but I +shall never give any account of these speeches, as they will all +be printed. I shall only say a word of the speakers as far as +relates to my own feelings about them, and that briefly will be +to say that I adhere to Mr. Burke, whose oratorical powers appear +to me far more gentleman-like, scholar-like, and fraught with +true genius than those of Mr. Fox. it may be I am prejudiced by +old kindnesses of Mr. Burke, and it may be that the countenance +of Mr. Fox may have turned me against him, for it struck me to +have a boldness in it quite hard and callous. However, it is +little matter how much my judgment in this point may err. With +you, my dear friends, I have +Page 129 + +nothing further to do than simply to give it ; and even should it +be wrong, it will not very essentially injure you in your +politics. + + + + MRS. CREWE, MR. BURKE, AND MR. WINDHAM. + +Again, on the fourth time of my attendance at Westminster Hall, +honest James was my esquire. + +We were so late from divers accidents that we did not enter till +the same moment with the prisoner. In descending the steps I +heard my name exclaimed with surprise, and looking before me, I +saw myself recognised by Mrs. Crewe. "Miss Burney," she cried, +"who could have thought of seeing you here!" + +Very obligingly she made me join her immediately, which, as I was +with no lady, was a very desirable circumstance; and though her +political principles are well known, and, of course, lead her to +side with the enemies of Mr. Hastings, she had the +good sense to conclude me on the other side, and the delicacy +never once to distress me by any discussion of the prosecution. + +I was much disappointed to find nothing intended for this day's +trial but hearing evidence; no speaker was preparing; all the +attention was devoted to the witnesses. + +Mr. Adam, Mr. Dudley Long, and others that I know not, Came from +the committee to chat with Mrs. Crewe; but soon after one came +not so unknown to me--Mr. Burke; and Mrs. Crewe, seeing him +ascend, named him to me, but was herself a little surprised to +see it was his purpose to name himself, for he immediately made +up to me, and with an air of such frank kindness that, could I +have forgot his errand in that Hall, would have made me receive +him as formerly, when I was almost fascinated with him. But far +other were my sensations. I trembled as he approached me, with +conscious change of sentiments, and with a dread of his pressing +from me a disapprobation he might resent, but which I knew not +how to disguise. + +"Near-sighted as I am," cried he, "I knew you immediately. I +knew you from our box the moment I looked up; yet how long it is, +except for an instant here, since I have seen you!" + +"Yes," I hesitatingly answered, "I live in a monastery now." + +He said nothing to this. He felt, perhaps, it was meant to +express my inaccessibility. + +Page 130 + +I inquired after Mrs. Burke. He recounted to me the particulars +of his sudden seizure when he spoke last, from the cramp in his +stomach, owing to a draught of cold water which he drank in the +midst of the heat of his oration. + +I could not even wear a semblance of being sorry for him on this +occasion; and my cold answers made him soon bend down to speak +with Mrs. Crewe. + +I was seated in the next row to her, just above. + +Mr. Windham was now talking with her. My whole curiosity and +desire being to hear him, which had induced me to make a point of +coming this time, I was eager to know if my chance was wholly +gone. "You are aware," I cried, when he spoke to me, "what +brings me here this morning + +No;" he protested he knew not. + +Mrs. Crewe, again a little surprised, I believe, at this second +opposition acquaintance, began questioning how often I had +attended this trial. + +Mr. Windham, with much warmth of regret, told her very seldom, +and that I had lost Mr. Burke on his best day. + +I then turned to speak to Mr. Burke, that I might not seem +listening, for they interspersed various civilities upon my +peculiar right to have heard all the great speeches, but Mr. +Burke was in so profound a reverie he did not hear me. + +I wished Mr. Windham had not either, for he called upon him +aloud, "Mr. Burke, Miss Burney speaks to you!" + +He gave me his immediate attention with an air so full of respect +that it quite shamed me. + +"Indeed," I cried, " I had never meant to speak to Mr. Burke +again after hearing him in Westminster Hall. I had meant to keep +at least that " geographical timidity." + +I alluded to an expression in his great speech of "geographical +morality" which had struck me very much. + +He laughed heartily, instantly comprehending me, and assured me +it was an idea that had occurred to him on the moment he had +uttered it, wholly without study. + +A little general talk followed; and then, one of the lords rising +to question some of the evidence, he said he must return to his +committee and business,-very flatteringly saying, in quitting his +post, "This is the first time I have played truant from the +manager's box." + +However I might be obliged to him, which sincerely I felt, I was +yet glad to have him go. My total ill will to all he was about +made his conversation merely a pain to me. + +Page 131 + +I did not feel the same With regard to Mr. Windham. He is not +the prosecutor, and seems endowed with so much liberality and +candour that it not Only encourages me to speak to him what I +think, but leads me to believe he will one day or other reflect +upon joining a party so violent as a stain to the independence of +his character. + +Almost instantly he came forward, to the place Mr. Burke had +vacated. + +"Are you approaching," I cried, "to hear my upbraidings?" + +"Why--I don't know," cried he, looking half alarmed. + +"Oh! I give you warning, if you come you must expect them; so my +invitation is almost as pleasant as the man's in 'Measure for +Measure,' who calls to Master Barnardine, 'Won't you come down to +be hanged?'" + +"But how," cried he, "have I incurred your upbraidings?" +" +By bringing me here," I answered, "only to disappoint me." + +"Did I bring you here?" + +"Yes, by telling me you were to speak to-day." + +He protested he could never have made such an assertion. I +explained myself, reminding him he had told me he was certainly +to speak before the recess; and that, therefore, when I was +informed this was to be the last day of trial till after the +recess, I concluded I should be right, but found myself so +utterly wrong as to hear nothing but such evidence as I Could not +even understand, because it was so uninteresting I could not even +listen to it. + +"How strangely," he exclaimed, "are we all moulded, that nothing +ever in this mortal life, however pleasant in itself, and however +desirable from its circumstances, can come to us without alloy-- +not even flattery; for here, at this moment, all the high +gratification I should feel, and I am well disposed to feel it +thoroughly in supposing you could think it worth your while to +come hither in order to hear me, is kept down and subdued by the +consciousness how much I must disappoint you." + +"Not at all," cried I; "the worse you speak, the better for my +side of the question." + +He laughed, but confessed the agitation of his spirits was so +great in the thought of that speech, whenever he was to make it, +that it haunted him in fiery dreams in his sleep. + +"Sleep!" cried I; "do you ever sleep?" + +He stared a little, but I added with pretended dryness, "Do any +of you that live down there in that prosecutor's den ever sleep +in your beds? I should have imagined that, had you + +Page 132 + +even attempted it, the anticipating ghost of Mr. Hastings would +have appeared to you in the dead of the night, and have drawn +your curtains, and glared ghastly in your eyes. I do heartily +wish Mr. Tickell would send You that 'Anticipation' at once!" + +This idea furnished us with sundry images, till, looking down +upon Mr. Hastings, with an air a little moved, he said, "I am +afraid the most insulting thing we do by him is coming up hither +to show ourselves so easy and disengaged, and to enter into +conversation with the ladies." + +"But I hope," cried I, alarmed, "he does not see that." + +"Why your caps," cried he, "are much in your favour for +concealment; they are excellent screens to all but the first +row!" + +I saw him, however, again look at the poor, and, I sincerely +believe, much-injured prisoner, and as I saw also he still bore +With my open opposition, I could not but again seize a favourable +moment for being more serious With him. + +"Ah, Mr. Windham," I cried, "I have not forgot what dropped from +you on the first day of this trial." + +He looked a little surprised. "You," I continued, "probably have +no remembrance of it, for you have been living ever since down +there; but I was more touched with what you said then, than with +all I have since heard from all the others, and probably than +with all I shall hear even from you again when you mount the +rostrum." + +"You conclude," cried he, looking very sharp, "I shall then be +better steeled against that fatal candour?" + +"In fact," cried I, "Mr. Windham, I do really believe your +steeling to he factitious; notwithstanding you took pains to +assure me your candour was but the deeper malice; and yet I will +own, when once I have heard your speech, I have little +expectation of ever having the honour of conversing with you +again." + +"And why?" cried- he, starting back "what am I to say that you +denounce such a forfeit beforehand?" + +I could not explain; I left him to imagine; for, should he prove +as violent and as personal as the rest, I had no objection to his +previously understanding I could have no future pleasure in +discoursing with him. + +"I think, however," I continued, with a laugh, "that since I have +settled this future taciturnity, I have a fair right in the +meanwhile to say whatever comes uppermost." + +Page 133 + +He agreed to this with great approvance. + +"Molière, you know, in order to obtain a natural opinion of his +plays, applied to an old woman: you upon the same principle, to +obtain a natural opinion of political matters, should apply to an +ignorant one--for you will never, I am sure, gain it down there." + +He smiled, whether he would or not, but protested this was the +severest stricture upon his committee that had ever yet been +uttered. + + + MISS BURNEY'S UNBIASED SENTIMENTS. + +I told him as it was the last time he was likely to hear unbiased +sentiments upon this subject, it was right they should be spoken +very intelligibly. " And permit me," I said, " to begin with +what strikes me the most. Were Mr. Hastings really the culprit +he is represented, he would never stand there." + +"Certainly," cried he, with a candour he could not suppress, +"there seems something favourable in that; it has a Pod look; but +assure yourself he never expected to see this day." + +"But would he, if guilty, have waited its chance? Was not all the +world before him? Could he not have chosen any other place of +residence ?" + +"Yes--but the shame, the disgrace of a flight?" + +"What is it all to the shame and disgrace of convicted guilt?" +He made no answer. + +"And now," I continued, "shall I tell you, just in the same +simple style, how I have been struck with the speakers and +speeches I have yet heard?" He eagerly begged me to go on. + +"The whole of this public speaking is quite new to me. I was +never in the House of Commons. It is all a new creation to me." + +"And what a creation it is he exclaimed. "how noble, how +elevating! and what an inhabitant for it!" + +I received his compliment with great courtesy, as an +encouragement. for me to proceed. I then began upon Mr. Burke; +but I must give you a very brief summary of my speech, as it +could only be intelligible at full length from your having heard +his. I told him that his opening had struck me with the highest +admiration of his powers, from the eloquence, the imagination, +the fire, the diversity of expression, and the ready flow of +language, with which he seemed gifted, in a most superior manner, +for any and every purpose to which rhetoric + +Page 134 + +could lead. "And when he came to his two narratives," I +continued, "whence he related the particulars of those dreadful +murders, he interested, he engaged, he at last overpowered me; I +felt my cause lost. I Could hardly keep on my seat. My eyes +dreaded a single glance towards a man so accused as Mr. Hastings; +I wanted to sink on the floor, that they might be saved so +painful a sight. I had no hope he could clear himself; not +another wish in his favour remained. But When from this +narration Mr. Burke proceeded to his own comments and +declamation--when the charges of rapacity, cruelty, tyranny were +general, and made with all the violence of personal detestation, +and continued and aggravated without any further fact or +illustration; then there appeared more of study than of truth, +more of invective than of justice; and, in short, so little of +proof to so much of passion, that in a very short time I began to +lift up my head, my seat was no longer uneasy, my eyes were +indifferent which way they looked, or what object caught them; +and before I was myself aware of the declension of Mr. Burke's +powers over my feelings, I found myself a mere spectator in a +public place, and looking all around it, with my opera-glass in +my hand." + +His eyes sought the ground on hearing this, and with no other +comment than a rather uncomfortable shrug of the shoulders, he +expressively and concisely said--"I comprehend you perfectly!" + +This was a hearing too favourable to stop me; and Mr. Hastings +constantly before me was an animation to my spirits which nothing +less could have given me, to a manager of such a committee. + +I next, therefore, began upon Mr. Fox; and I ran through the +general matter of his speech, with such observations as had +occurred to me in hearing it. "His violence," I said, "had that +sort of monotony that seemed to result from its being factitious, +and I felt less pardon for that than for any extravagance in Mr. +Burke, whose excesses seemed at least to be unaffected, and, if +they spoke against his judgment, spared his probity. Mr. Fox +appeared to have no such excuse; he looked all good humour and +negligent ease the instant before he began a speech of +uninterrupted passion and vehemence, and he wore the same +careless and disengaged air the very instant he had finished. A +display of talents in which the inward man took so little share +could have no powers of persuasion to those who saw them in that +light and therefore. + +Page 135 + +however their brilliancy might be admired, they were useless to +their cause, for they left the mind of the hearer in the same +state that they found it." + +After a short vindication of his friends, he said, "You have +never heard Pitt? You would like him beyond any other +competitor." + +And then he made his panegyric in very strong terms, allowing him +to be equal, ready, splendid, wonderful!--he was in constant +astonishment himself at his powers and success;--his youth and +inexperience never seemed against him: though he mounted to his +present height after and in opposition to such a vortex of +splendid abilities, yet, alone and unsupported, he coped with +them all! And then, with conscious generosity, he finished a +most noble éloge with these words: "Take--you may take--the +testimony of an enemy--a very confirmed enemy of Mr. Pitt's!" + +Not very confirmed, I hope! A man so liberal can harbour no +enmity of that dreadful malignancy that sets mitigation at +defiance for ever. + +He then asked me if I had heard Mr. Grey? + +" No," I answered ; " I can come but seldom, and therefore I +reserved myself for to-day." + +"You really fill me with compunction," he cried. "But if, +indeed, I have drawn you into so cruel a waste of your time, the +only compensation I can make you will be carefully to keep from +you the day when I shall really speak." + +"No," I answered, "I must hear you; for that is all I now wait +for to make up my final opinion." + +"And does it all rest with me?--'Dreadful responsibility'--as Mr. +Hastings powerfully enough expresses himself in his narrative." + +"And can you allow an expression of Mr. Hastings's to be +powerful?--That is not like Mr. Fox, who, in acknowledging some +one small thing to be right, in his speech, checked himself for +the acknowledgment by hastily saying 'Though I am no great +admirer of the genius and abilities of the gentleman at the +bar;'--as if he had pronounced a sentence in a parenthesis, +between hooks,--so rapidly he flew off to what he could +positively censure." + +" And hooks they were indeed he cried. + + "Do not inform against me," I continued, "and I will give you a +little more of Molière's old woman." + +He gave me his parole, and looked very curious, + +Page 136 + +"Well then,--amongst the things most striking to an unbiased +spectator was that action of the orator that led him to look full +at the prisoner upon every hard part of the charge. There was no +courage in it, since the accused is so situated he must make no +answer; and, not being courage, to Molière's old woman it could +only seem cruelty!" + +He quite gave up this point without a defence, except telling me +it was from the habit of the House of Commons, as Fox, who +chiefly had done this, was a most good-humoured man, and by +nothing but habit would have been betrayed into such an error. + +"And another thing," I cried, "which strikes those ignorant of +senatorial licence, is this,--that those perpetual repetitions, +from all the speakers, of inveighing against the power, the +rapacity, the tyranny, the despotism of the gentleman at the bar, +being uttered now, when we see him without any power, without +even liberty-con fined to that spot, and the only person in this +large assembly who may not leave it when he will--when we see +such a contrast to all we hear we think the simplest relation +would be sufficient for all purposes of justice, as all that goes +beyond plain narrative, instead of sharpening indignation, only +calls to mind the greatness of the fall, and raises involuntary +commiseration!" + +"And you wish," he cried, "to hear me? How you add to my +difficulties!--for now, instead of thinking of Lords, Commons, +bishops, and judges before me, and of the delinquent and his +counsel at my side, I shall have every thought and faculty +swallowed up in thinking of who is behind me!" + +This civil speech put an end to Molière's old woman and her +comments; and not to have him wonder at her unnecessarily, I +said, "Now, then, Mr. Windham, shall I tell you fairly what it is +that induced me to say all this to you?--Dr. Johnson!--what I +have heard from him of Mr. Windham has been the cause of all this +hazardous openness." + +"'Twas a noble cause," cried he, well pleased, "and noble has +been its effect! I loved him, indeed, sincerely. He has left a +chasm in my heart-a chasm in the world ! There was in him what I +never saw before, what I never shall find again! I lament every +moment as lost, that I might have spent in his society, and yet +gave to any other." + +How it delighted me to hear this just praise, thus warmly +uttered!--I could speak from this moment upon no other subject. +I told him how much it gratified me; and we agreed + +Page 137 + +in comparing notes upon the very few opportunities his real +remaining friends could now meet with of a similar indulgence, +since so little was his intrinsic worth understood, while so +deeply all his foibles had been felt, that in general it was +merely a matter of pain to hear him even named. + +How did we then emulate each other in calling to mind all his +excellences! + +"His abilities," cried Mr. Windham, "were gigantic, and always at +hand no matter for the subject, he had information ready for +everything. He was fertile,--he was universal." + +My praise of him was of a still more solid kind,--his principles, +his piety, his kind heart under all its rough coating: but I need +not repeat what I said,--my dear friends know every word. + +I reminded him of the airings, in which he gave his time with his +carriage for the benefit of Dr. Johnson's health. "What an +advantage!" he cried, "was all that to myself! I had not merely +an admiration, but a tenderness for him,--the more I knew him, +the stronger it became. We never disagreed ; even in politics, I +found it rather words than things in which we differed." + +"And if you could so love him," cried I, "knowing him only in a +general way, what would you have felt for him had you known him +at Streatham?" + +I then gave him a little history of his manners and way of life, +there,--his good humour, his sport, his kindness, his +sociability, and all the many excellent qualities that, in the +world at large, were by so many means obscured. + +He was extremely interested in all I told him, and regrettingly +said he had only known him in his worst days, when his health was +upon its decline, and infirmities were crowding- fast upon him. + +"Had he lived longer," he cried, "I am satisfied I should have +taken to him almost wholly. I should have taken him to my heart! +have looked up to him, applied to him, advised with him in all +the most essential occurrences of my life! I am sure, too,-- +though it is a proud assertion,--he would have liked me, also, +better, had we mingled more. I felt a mixed fondness and +reverence growing so strong upon me, that I am satisfied the +closest union would have followed his longer life." + +I then mentioned how kindly he had taken his visit to him at +Lichfield during a severe illness, "And he left you," I said, "a +book ? " + +Page 138 + +"Yes," he answered, "and he gave me one, also, just before he +died. 'You will look into this Sometimes,' he said, 'and not +refuse to remember whence you had it.' "(271) + +And then he added he had heard him speak of me,--and with so much +kindness, that I was forced not to press a recapitulation: yet +now I wish I had heard it. + +just before we broke up, "There Is nothing," he cried, with +energy, "for which I look back upon myself with severer +discipline than the time I have thrown away in other pursuits, +that might else have been devoted to that wonderful man!" +He then said he must be gone,--he was one in a committee of the +House, and could keep away no longer. + + + BURKE AND SHERIDAN MEET WITH COLD RECEPTIONS. +I then again joined in with Mrs. Crewe, who, meantime, had had +managers without end to converse with her. +But, very soon after, Mr. Burke mounted to the House of +Commons(272) again, and took the place left by Mr. Windham. +I inquired very much after Mrs. Burke, and we talked +of the spectacle, and its fine effect; and I ventured to +mention, allusively, some of the digressive parts of the great +speech in which I had heard him: but I saw him anxious for +speaking more to the point, and as I could not talk to him--the +leading prosecutor--with that frankness of opposing sentiments +which I used to Mr. Windham, I was anxious only to avoid talking +at all; and so brief was my speech, and so long my silences, +that, of course, he was soon wearied into a retreat. Had he not +acted such a part, with what pleasure should I have exerted +myself to lengthen his stay! + +Yet he went not in wrath: for, before the close, he came yet a +third time, to say "I do not pity you for having to sit there so +long, for, with you, sitting can now be no punishment." + +"No," cried I, "I may take rest for a twelvemonth back." His son +also came to speak to me; but, not long after, + +Page 139 + +Mrs. Crewe called upon me to say, "Miss Burney, Mr. Sheridan begs +me to introduce him to you, for he thinks you have forgot him." + +I did not feel very comfortable in this; the part he acts would +take from me all desire for his notice, even were his talents as +singular as they are celebrated. Cold, therefore, was my +reception of his salutations, though as civil as I could make it. + He talked a little over our former meeting at Mrs. +Cholmondeley's, and he reminded me of what he had there urged and +persuaded with all his might, namely, that I would write a +comedy; and he now reproached me for my total disregard of his +counsel and opinion. + +I made little or no answer, for I am always put out by such sort +of discourse, especially when entered upon with such abruptness. +Recollecting, then, that "Cecilia" had been published since that +time, he began a very florid flourish, saying he was in my debt +greatly, not only for reproaches about what I had neglected, but +for fine speeches about what I had performed. I hastily +interrupted him with a fair retort, exclaiming,--"O if fine +speeches may now be made, I ought to begin first---but know not +where I should end!" I then asked after Mrs. Sheridan, and he +soon after left me. + +Mrs. Crewe was very obligingly solicitous our renewed +acquaintance should not drop here; she asked me to name any day +for dining with her, or to send to her at any time when I could +arrange a visit: but I was obliged to decline it, on the general +score of wanting time. + +In the conclusion of the day's business there was much speaking, +and I heard Mr. Fox, Mr. Burke, and several others; but the whole +turned extremely in favour of the gentleman at the bar, to the +great consternation of the accusers, whose own witnesses gave +testimony, most unexpectedly, on the side of Mr. Hastings. + +We came away very late; my dear James quite delighted with this +happy catastrophe. + + +AT WINDSOR AGAIN. + +March.-In our first journey to Windsor this month Mrs. +Schwellenberg was still unable to go, and the party was Miss +Planta, Colonel Wellbred, Mr. Fairly, Sir Joseph Banks, and Mr. +Turbulent. + +Page 140 + +Sir Joseph was so exceedingly shy that we made no sort of +acquaintance. If instead of going round the world he had only +fallen from the moon, he could not appear less versed in the +usual modes of a tea-drinking party. But what, you will say, has +a tea-drinking party to do with a botanist, a man of science, a +president of the Royal Society? + +I left him , however, to the charge of Mr. Turbulent, the two +colonels becoming, as usual, my joint supporters. And Mr. +Turbulent, in revenge, ceased not one moment to watch Colonel +Wellbred, nor permitted him to say a word, or to hear an answer, +without some most provoking grimace. Fortunately, upon this +subject he cannot confuse me; I have not a sentiment about +Colonel Wellbred, for or against, that shrinks from examination. + +To-night, however, my conversation was almost wholly with him. I +would not talk with Mr. Turbulent; I could not talk with Sir +Joseph Banks - and Mr. Fairly did not talk with me : he had his +little son with him; he was grave and thoughtful, and seemed +awake to no other pleasure than discoursing with that sweet boy. + +I believe I have forgotten to mention that Mrs. Gwynn had called +upon me one morning, in London, and left me a remarkably fine +impression of Mr. Bunbury's "Propagation of a Lie," which I had +mentioned when she was at Windsor, with regret at having never +seen it. This I had produced here a month ago, to show to our +tea-party, and just as it was in the hands of Colonel Wellbred, +his majesty entered the room; and, after looking at it a little +while, with much entertainment, he took it away to show it to the +queen and princesses. I thought it lost; for Colonel Wellbred +said he concluded it would be thrown amidst the general hoard of +curiosities, which, when once seen, are commonly ever after +forgotten, yet which no one has courage to name and to claim. + +This evening, however, the colonel was successful, and recovered +me my print. It is so extremely humorous that I was very glad to +receive it, and in return I fetched my last +sketches, which Mr. William Locke had most kindly done for me +when here last autumn, and indulged Colonel Wellbred with looking +at them, charging him at the same time to guard them from a +similar accident. I meant to show them myself to my royal +mistress, who is all care, caution, and delicacy, to restore to +the right owner whatever she receives with a perfect knowledge +who the right owner is, + + Page 141 + +The second volume of the "Letters" of my reverenced Dr. Johnson +was now lent me by her majesty; I found in them very frequent +mention of our name, but nothing to alarm in the reading it. + + + DEATH OF MRS. DELANY. + +April.-I have scarce a memorandum of this fatal month, in which I +was bereft of the most revered of friends, and, perhaps, the most +perfect of women.(273) I am yet scarce able to settle whether to +glide silently and resignedly--as far as I can--past all this +melancholy deprivation, or whether to go back once more to the +ever-remembered, ever-sacred scene that closed the earthly +pilgrimage of my venerable, my sainted friend. + +I believe I heard the last words she uttered : I cannot learn +that she spoke after my reluctant departure. She finished with +that cheerful resignation, that lively hope, which always broke +forth when this last--awful--but, to her, most happy change +seemed approaching. + +Poor Miss Port and myself were kneeling by her bedside. She had +just given me her soft hand; without power to see either of us, +she felt and knew us. O, never can I cease to cherish the +remembrance of the sweet, benign, holy voice with which she +pronounced a blessing upon us both! We kissed her--and, with a +smile all beaming--I thought it so--of heaven, she seemed then to +have taken leave of all earthly solicitudes. Yet then, even +then, short as was her time on earth, the same soft human +sensibility filled her for poor human objects. She would not bid +us farewell--would not tell us she should speak with us no more-- +she only said, as she turned gently away from us, "And now--I'll +go to sleep!"--But, O, in what a voice she said it! I felt what +the sleep would be; so did poor Miss Port. + +Poor, sweet, unfortunate girl! what deluges of tears did she shed +over me! I promised her in that solemn moment my eternal regard, +and she accepted this, my first protestation of any kind made to +her, as some solace to her sufferings. Sacred shall I hold +it!--sacred to my last hour. I believe, indeed, that angelic +being had no other wish equally fervent. + +How full of days and full of honours was her exit! I should +blush at the affliction of my heart in losing her, could I ever + +Page 142 + +believe excellence was given us here to love and to revere, yet +gladly to relinquish. No, I cannot think it: the deprivation may +be a chastisement, but not a joy. We may submit to it with +patience; but we cannot have felt it with warmth where we lose it +without pain, Outrageously to murmur, or sullenly to refuse +consolation--there, indeed, we are rebels against the +dispensations of providence--and rebels yet more weak than +wicked; for what and whom is it we resist? what and who are we +for such resistance ? + +She bid me--how often did she bid me not grieve to lose her! Yet +she said, in my absence, she knew I must, and sweetly regretted +how much I must miss her. I teach myself to think of her +felicity; and I never dwell upon that without faithfully feeling +I would not desire her return. But, in every other channel in +which my thoughts and feelings turn, I miss her with so sad a +void! She was all that I dearly loved that remained within my +reach; she was become the bosom repository of all the livelong +day's transactions, reflections, feelings, and wishes. Her own +exalted mind was all expanded when we met. I do not think she +concealed from me the most secret thought of her heart; and while +every word that fell from her spoke wisdom, piety, and +instruction, her manner had an endearment, her spirits a native +gaiety, and her smile, to those she loved, a tenderness so +animated. + +Blessed spirit! sweet, fair, and beneficent on earth!--O, gently +mayest thou now be at rest in that last home to which fearfully I +look forward, yet not hopeless; never that--and sometimes with +fullest, fairest, sublimest expectations! If to her it be given +to plead for those she left, I shall not be forgotten in her +prayer. Rest to her sweet soul! rest and everlasting peace to +her gentle spirit! + +I saw my poor lovely Miss Port twice in every day, when in town, +till after the last holy rites had been performed. I had no +peace away from her; I thought myself fulfilling a wish of that +sweet departed saint, in consigning all the time I had at my own +disposal to solacing and advising with her beloved niece, who +received this little offering with a sweetness that once again +twined her round my heart. . . . + +Poor Mrs. Astley, the worthy humble friend, rather than servant, +of the most excellent departed, was the person whom, next to the +niece, I most pitied. She was every way to be lamented: unfit +for any other service, but unprovided for in this, by the + utter and most regretted inability of her much + +Page 143 + +attached mistress, who frequently told me that leaving poor +Astley unsettled hung heavy on her mind. + +My dearest friends know, the success I had in venturing to +represent her worth and situation to my royal mistress. In the +moment when she came to my room to announce his majesty's +gracious intention to pension Mrs. Astley here as housekeeper to +the same house, I really could scarce withhold myself from +falling prostrate at her feet : I never felt such a burst of +gratitude but where I had no ceremonials to repress it. Joseph, +too, the faithful footman, I was most anxious to secure in some +good service-- and I related my wishes for him to General Cary, +who procured for him a place with his daughter, Lady Amherst. + +I forget if I have ever read you the sweet words that accompanied +to me the kind legacies left me by my honoured friend. I believe +not. They were ordered to be sent me with the portrait of +Sacharissa, and two medallions of their majesties: they were +originally written to accompany the legacy to the Bishop of +Worcester, Dr. Hurd, as you may perceive by the style, but it was +desired they might also be copied:-- + +"I take this liberty, that my much esteemed and respected friend +may sometimes recollect a person who was so sensible of the +honour of her friendship and who delighted so much in her +conversation and works." + +Need I--O, I am sure I need not say with what tender, grateful, +sorrowing joy I received these sweet pledges of her invaluable +regard! + +To these, by another codicil, was added the choice of one of her +mosaic flowers. And verbally, on the night but one before she +died, she desired I might have her fine quarto edition of +Shakespeare, sweetly saying she had never received so much +pleasure from him in any other way as through my reading. + + + + THE HASTINGS TRIAL AND MR. WINDHAM AGAIN. +The part of this month in which my Susanna was in town I kept no +journal at all. And I have now nothing to add but to copy those +memorandums I made of the trial on the day I went to Westminster +Hall with my two friends,(274) previously to + +Page 144 + +the deep calamity on which I have dwelt. They told me they could +not hear what Mr. Windham said; and there is a spirit in his +discourse more worth their hearing than any other thing I have +now to write. + +You may remember his coming straight from the managers, in their +first procession to their box, and beginning at once a most +animated attack--scarcely waiting first to say "How do!"--before +he exclaimed "I have a great quarrel with you--I am come now +purposely to quarrel with you--you have done me mischief +irreparable--you have ruined me!" + +"Have I?" + +"Yes: and not only with what passed here, even setting that +aside, though there was mischief enough here; but you have quite +undone me since!" + +I begged him to let me understand how. + +"I will," he cried. "When the trial broke up for the recess I +went into the country, purposing to give my whole time to study +and business; but, most unfortunately, I had just sent for a new +set of 'Evelina;' and intending only to look at it, I was so +cruelly caught that I could not let it out of my hands, and have +been living with nothing but the Branghtons ever since." + +I could not but laugh, though on this subject 'tis always +awkwardly. + +"There was no parting with it," he continued. "I could not shake +it off from me a moment!--see, then, every way, what mischief you +have done me!" + +He ran on to this purpose much longer, with great rapidity, and +then, suddenly, stopping, again said, "But I have yet another +quarrel with you, and one you must answer. How comes it that the +moment you have attached us to the hero and the heroine--the +instant you have made us cling to them so that there is no +getting disengaged--twined, twisted, twirled them round our very +heart-strings--how is it that then you make them undergo such +persecutions? There is really no enduring their distresses, their +Suspenses, their perplexities. Why are you so cruel to all +around--to them and their readers?" + +I longed to say--Do you object to a persecution?--but I know he +spells it prosecution. + +I could make no answer: I never can. Talking over one's own +writings seems to me always ludicrous, because it cannot be +impartially, either by author or commentator; one feeling, + +Page 145 + +the other fearing, too much for strict truth and unaffected +candour. + +When we found the subject quite hopeless as to discussion, he +changed it, and said "I have lately seen some friends of yours, +and I assure you I gave you an excellent character to them: I +told them you were firm, fixed, and impenetrable to all +conviction." + +An excellent character, indeed! He meant to Mr. Francis and +Charlotte. + +Then he talked a little of the business of the day and he told me +that Mr. Anstruther was to speak. + +"I was sure of it," I cried,, "by his manner when he entered the +managers' box. I shall know when you are to speak, Mr. Windham, +before I hear you.," + +He shrugged his shoulders a little uncomfortably. I asked him to +name to me the various managers. He did ; adding, "Do you not +like to sit here, where you can look down upon the several +combatants before the battle?" + +When he named Mr. Michael Angelo Taylor, I particularly desired +he might be pointed out to me, telling him I had long +wished to see him, from the companion given to him in one of the +"Probationary Odes," where they have coupled him with my dear +father, most impertinently and unwarrantably. + +"That, indeed," he cried, "is a licentiousness in the press quite +intolerable--to attack and involve private characters in their +public lampoons! To Dr. Burney they could have no right; but Mr. +Michael Angelo Taylor is fair game enough, and likes that or any +other way whatever of obtaining notice. You know what Johnson +said to Boswell of preserving fame?" + +"No." + +"There were but two ways," he told him, "of preserving; one was +by sugar, the other by salt. 'Now,' says he, 'as the sweet way, +Bozzy, you are but little likely to attain, I would have you +plunge into vinegar, and get fairly pickled at once.' And such +has been the plan of Mr. Michael Angelo Taylor. With the sweet +he had, indeed, little chance, so he soused into the other, head +over ears." + +We then united forces in repeating passages from various of the +"Probationary Odes," and talking over various of the managers, +till Mr. Anstruther was preparing to speak, and Mr. Windham went +to his cell. + +I am sure you will remember that Mr. Burke came also, + +Page 146 + +and the panic with which I saw him, doubled by my fear lest he +should see that panic. + +When the speech was over, and evidence was filling up the day's +business, Mr. Windham returned. Some time after, but I have +forgotten how, we were agreeing in thinking suspense, and all +obscurity, in expectation or in opinion, almost the thing's most +trying to bear in this mortal life, especially where they lead to +some evil construction. + +"But then," cried he, "on the other hand, there is nothing so +pleasant as clearing away a disagreeable prejudice; nothing SO +exhilarating as the dispersion of a black mist, and seeing all +that had been black and gloomy turn out bright and fair." + +"That, Sir," cried I, "is precisely what I expect from thence," +pointing to the prisoner. + +What a look he gave me, yet he laughed irresistibly. + +"However," I continued, "I have been putting my expectations from +your speech to a kind of test." + +"And how, for heaven's sake?" + +"Why, I have been reading--running over, rather--a set of +speeches, in which almost the whole House made a part, upon the +India bill ; and in looking over those I saw not one that had not +in it something positively and pointedly personal, except Mr. +Windham's." + +"O, that was a mere accident." + +"But it was just the accident I expected from Mr. Windham. I do +not mean that there was invective in all the others, for in some +there was panegyric--plenty! but that panegyric was always so +directed as to convey more of severe censure to one party than of +real praise to the other. Yours was all to the business, and +hence I infer you will deal just so by Mr. Hastings." + +"I believe," cried he, looking at me very sharp, "you only want +to praise me down. You know what it is to skate a man down?" + +"No, indeed." + +"Why, to skate a man down is a very favourite diversion among a +certain race Of wags. It is only to praise, and extol, and +stimulate him to double and treble exertion and effort, till, in +order to show his desert of such panegyric, the poor dupe makes +so many turnings and windings, and describes circle after circle +with such hazardous dexterity, that, at last, down he drops in +the midst of his flourishes, to his own eternal disgrace, and +their entire content." + + +page 147 + +I gave myself no vindication from this charge but a laugh; and we +returned to discuss speeches and speakers, and I expressed again +my extreme repugnance against all personality in these public +harangues, except in simply stating facts. +" What say you, then," cried he, " to Pitt?" He then repeated a +warm and animated praise of his powers and his eloquence, but +finished with this censure: "He takes not," cried he, "the grand +path suited to his post as prime minister, for he is personal +beyond all men ; pointed, sarcastic, cutting ; and it is in him +peculiarly unbecoming. The minister should be always +conciliating; the attack, the probe, the invective, belong to the +assailant." +Then he instanced Lord North, and said much more on these +political matters and maxims than I can possibly write, or could +at the time do more than hear; for, as I told him, I not only am +no politician, but have no ambition to become one, thinking it by +no means a female business. + + + +"THE QUEEN IS so KIND." + +When he went to the managers' box, Mr. Burke again took his +place, but he held it a very short time, though he was in high +good humour and civility. The involuntary coldness that results +from internal disapprobation must, I am sure, have been seen, so +thoroughly was it felt. I can only talk on this matter with Mr. +Windham, who, knowing my opposite principles, expects to hear +them, and gives them the fairest play by his good humour, +candour, and politeness. But there is not one other manager with +whom I could venture such openness. + +That Mr. Windham takes it all in good part is certainly amongst +the things he makes plainest, for again, after Mr. Burke's return +to the den, he came back. + +"I am happy," cried I, "to find you have not betrayed me." + +"Oh, no; I would not for the world." + +"I am quite satisfied you have kept my counsel; for Mr. Burke has +been with me twice, and speaking with a good humour I could not +else have expected from him. He comes to tell me that he never +pities me for sitting here, whatever is going forward, as the +sitting must be rest; and, indeed, it seems as if my coming +hither was as much to rest my frame as to exercise my mind." + +Page 148 + +"That's a very good idea, but I do not like to realize it ; I do +not like to think of you and fatigue together. Is it so? Do you +really want rest?" + +"O, no." + +"O, I am well aware yours is not a mind to turn complainer but +yet I fear, and not for your rest only, but your time. How is +that; have you it, as you Ought, at your own disposal?" + +"Why not quite," cried I, laughing. Good heaven! what a +question, in a situation like mine! + +"Well, that is a thing I cannot bear to think of--that you should +want time." + +"But the queen," cried I, is so kind." + +"That may be," interrupted he, "and I am very glad of it but +still, time--and to you!" + +"Yet, after all, in the whole, I have a good deal, though always +Uncertain. for, if sometimes I have not two minutes when I +expect two hours, at other times I have two hours where I +expected only two minutes." + +"All that is nothing, if you have them not with certainty. Two +hours are of no more value than two minutes, if you have them not +at undoubted command." + +Again I answered, "The queen is so kind;" determined to sound +that sentence well and audibly into republican ears. + +"Well, well," cried he, "that may be some compensation to you, +but to us, to all others, what compensation is there for +depriving you of time?" + +"Mrs. Locke, here," cried I, "always wishes time could be bought, +because there are so many who have more than they know what to do +with, that those who have less might be supplied very +reasonably." + +"'Tis an exceeding good idea," cried he, "and I am sure, if it +could be purchased, it ought to be given to YOU by act of +parliament, as a public donation and tribute." There was a fine +flourish! + + + PERSONAL RESEMBLANCE BETWEEN WINDHAM AND HASTINGS. +A little after, while we were observing Mr. Hastings, Mr. Windham +exclaimed, "He's looking up; I believe he is looking for you." + +I turned hastily away, fairly saying, "I hope not." + +Page 149 + +"Yes, he is; he seems as if he wanted to bow to you." I shrank +back. "No, he looks off; he thinks you in too bad company!" +"Ah, Mr. Windham," cried I, "you should not be so +hardhearted towards him, whoever else may; and I could +tell you, and I will tell you if you please, a very forcible +reason." He assented. "You must know, then, that people there +are in this world who scruple not to assert that there is a very +strong personal resemblance between Mr. Windham and Mr. Hastings; +nay, in the profile, I see it myself at this moment and therefore +ought not you to be a little softer than the rest, if merely in +sympathy?" + +He laughed very heartily; and owned he had heard of the +resemblance before. + +"I could take him extremely well," I cried, "for your uncle." +"No, no; if he looks like my elder brother, I aspire at no more." + +"No, no; he is more like your uncle; he has just that air; he +seems just of that time of life. Can You then be so +unnatural as to prosecute him with this eagerness?" + +And then, once again, I ventured to give him a little touch of +Molière's old woman, lest he should forget that good and honest +dame; and I told him there was one thing she particularly +objected to in all the speeches that had yet been made, and hoped +his speech would be exempt from. + +He inquired what that was. + +"Why, she says she does not like to hear every orator compliment +another; every fresh speaker say, he leaves to the superior +ability of his successor the prosecution of the business." +"O, no," cried he, very readily, "I detest all that sort of +adulation. I hold it in the utmost contempt." + +"And, indeed, it will be time to avoid it when your turn comes, +for I have heard it in no less than four speeches already." +And then he offered his assistance about servants and carriages, +and we all came away, our different routes; but my Fredy and +Susan must remember my meeting with Mr. Hastings in coming out, +and his calling after me, and saying, with a very comic sort of +politeness, "I must come here to have the pleasure of seeing Miss +Burney, for I see her nowhere else." + +What a strange incident would have been formed had this rencontre +happened thus if I had accepted Mr. Windham's offered services ! +I am most glad I had not ; I should have felt myself a +conspirator, to have been so met by Mr. Hastings. + +Page 150 + + DEATH OF YOUNG LADY MULGRAVE. + +May.-On the 17th of this month Miss Port bade her sad reluctant +adieu to London. I gave what time I could command from Miss +Port's departure to my excellent and maternal Mrs. Ord, who +supported herself with unabating fortitude and resignation. But +a new calamity affected her much, and affected me greatly also, +though neither she nor I were more than distant spectators in +comparison with the nearer mourners; the amiable and lovely Lady +Mulgrave gave a child to her lord, and died, in the first dawn of +youthful beauty and sweetness, exactly a year after she became +his wife. 'Twas, indeed, a tremendous blow. It was all our +wonder that Lord Mulgrave kept his senses, as he had not been +famed for patience or piety; but I believe he was benignly +inspired with both, from his deep admiration of their excellence +in his lovely wife. + + + AGAIN AT WINDSOR. + +I must mention a laughable enough circumstance. Her majesty +inquired of me if I had ever met with- Lady Hawke? "Oh yes," I +cried, "and Lady Say and Sele too." " She has just desired +permission to send me a novel of her own Writing," answered her +majesty. + +"I hope," cried I, "'tis not the 'Mausoleum of Julia!'" + +But yes, it proved no less ! and this she has now published and +sends about. You must remember Lady Say and Sele's quotation +from it.(275) Her majesty was so gracious as to lend it me, for +I had some curiosity to read it. It is all of a piece: all love, +love, love, unmixed and unadulterated with any more worldly +materials. + +I read also the second volume of the "Paston Letters," and found +their character the same as in the first, and therefore read them +with curiosity and entertainment. + +The greater part of the month was spent, alas! at Windsor, with +what a dreary vacuity of heart and of pleasure I need not say. +The only period of it in which my spirits could be commanded to +revive was during two of the excursions in which Mr. Fairly was +of the party; and the sight of him, calm, mild, nay cheerful, +under such superior sorrows-- --struck me with that sort of +edifying admiration that led me, perforce, to the best + +Page 151 + +exertion in my power for the conquest of my deep depression. If +I did this from conscience in private, from a sense of obligation +to him in public I reiterated my efforts, as I received from him +all the condoling softness and attention he could possibly have +bestowed upon me had my affliction been equal or even greater +than his own. + + + + ANOTHER MEETING WITH MR. CRUTCHLEY. + +On one of the Egham race days the queen sent Miss Planta and me +on the course, in one of the royal coaches, with Lord Templeton +and Mr. Charles Fairly,(276) for our beaux. Lady Templeton was +then at the Lodge, and I had the honour of two or three +conferences with er during her stay. On the course, we were +espied by Mr. Crutchley, who instantly devoted himself to my +service for the morning--taking care of our places, naming +jockeys, horses, bets, plates, etc., and talking between times of +Streatham and all the Streathamites. We were both, I believe, +very glad of this discourse. He pointed out to me where his +house stood, in a fine park, within sight of the race-ground, and +proposed introducing me to his sister, who was his housekeeper, +and asking me if, through her invitation, I would come to Sunning +Hill park. I assured him I lived so completely in a monastery +that I could make no new acquaintance. He then said he expected +soon Susan and Sophy Thrale on a visit to his sister, and he +presumed I would not refuse coming to see them. I truly answered +I should rejoice to do it if in my power, but that most probably +I must content myself with meeting them on the Terrace. He +promised to bring them there with his sister, though he had given +up that walk these five years. + +It will give me indeed great pleasure to see them again. + + + + MR. TURBULENT'S TROUBLESOME PLEASANTRIES. +My two young beaux Stayed dinner with us, and I afterwards +strolled upon the lawn with them till tea-time. I could not go +on the Terrace, nor persuade them to go on by themselves. We +backed as the royal party returned home; and when they had all +entered the house, Colonel Wellbred, who had stood aloof, quitted +the train to join our little society. "Miss + +Page 152 + +Burney," he cried, "I think I know which horse you betted upon! +Cordelia!" + +"For the name's sake you think it," I cried; and he began some +questions and comments upon the races, when suddenly the window +of the tea-room opened, and the voice of Mr. Turbulent, with a +most sarcastic tone, called out, "I hope Miss Burney and Colonel +Wellbred are well!" + +We could neither Of us keep a profound gravity, though really he +deserved it from us both. I turned from the Colonel, and said I +was coming directly to the tea-room. + +Colonel Wellbred would have detained me to finish Our race +discourse, for he had shut the window when he had made his +speech, but I said it was time to go in. + +"Oh no," cried he, laughing a little, "Mr. Turbulent only wants +his own tea, and he does not deserve it for this!" + +In, however, I went, and Colonel Manners took the famous chair +the instant I was seated. We all began race talk, but Mr. +Turbulent, approaching very significantly, said, "Do you want a +chair On the other side, ma'am? Shall I tell the colonel-to bring +one?" + +"No, indeed cried I, half seriously, lest he should do it. . . . + +Colonel Wellbred, not knowing what had passed, came to that same +other side, and renewed his conversation. In the midst of all +this Mr. Turbulent hastily advanced with a chair, saying, +"Colonel Wellbred, I cannot bear to see you standing so long." + +I found it impossible not to laugh under My hat, though I really +wished to bid him stand in a corner for a naughty boy. The +colonel, I suppose, laughed too, whether he would or not, for I +heard no answer. However, he took the chair, and finding me +wholly unembarrassed by this polissonnerie, though not wholly +unprovoked by it, he renewed his discourse, and kept his seat +till the party, very late, broke up; but Colonel Manners, who +knew not what to make of all this, exclaimed, "Why, ma'am, you +cannot keep Mr. Turbulent in much order." + +June.-Mrs. Schwellenberg came to Windsor with us after the +birthday, for the rest of the summer. + +Mr. Turbulent took a formal leave of me at the same time, as his +wife now came to settle at Windsor, and he ceased to belong to +our party. He only comes to the princesses at stated hours, and +then returns to his own home. He gave me many serious thanks for +the time passed with me, spoke in flourishing + +Page 153 + +terms of its contrast to former times, and vowed no compensation +could ever be made him for the hours he had thrown away by +compulsion on "The Oyster."(277) His behaviour altogether was +very well--here and there a little eccentric, but, in the main, +merely good-humoured and high-spirited. + + + COLONEL FAIRLY AND SECOND ATTACHMENTS. + +I am persuaded there is no manner of truth in the report relative +to Mr. Fairly and Miss Fuzilier, for he led me into a long +conversation with him one evening when the party was large, and +all were otherwise engaged, upon subjects of this nature, in the +course of which he asked me if I thought any second attachment +could either be as strong or as happy as a first. + +I was extremely surprised by the question, and quite unprepared +how to answer it, as I knew not with what feelings or intentions +I might war by any unwary opinions. I did little, therefore, but +evade and listen, though he kept up the discourse in a very +animated manner, till the party all broke up. + +Had I spoken without any consideration but what was general and +genuine, I should have told him that my idea was simply this, +that where a first blessing was withdrawn by providence, not lost +by misconduct, it seemed to me most consonant to reason, nature, +and mortal life, to accept what could come second, in this as in +all other deprivations. Is it not a species of submission to the +divine will to make ourselves as happy as we can in what is left +us to obtain, where bereft of what we had sought? My own +conflict for content in a life totally adverse to my own +inclinations, is all built on this principle, and when it +succeeds, to this owes its success. + +I presumed not, however, to talk in this way to Mr. Fairly, for I +am wholly ignorant in what manner or to what degree his first +attachment may have rivetted his affections; but by the whole of +what passed it seemed to me very evident that he was not merely +entirely without any engagement, but entirely at this time +without any plan or scheme of forming any; and probably he never +may. + +(257) "Selections from the State Papers preserved in the Foreign +Department of the Government of India, 1772-1785," Edited by G. +W. Forrest, VOL i. P, 178. + +(258) "Warren Hastings," by Sir Alfred Lyall, p. 54. + +(259) Selections from State Papers," vol. i. p. xlviii. + +(260) In his defence at the bar of the House of Commons, (Feb. +4th, 1788) Sir Elijah Impey attempted to justify his conduct by +precedent, but the single precedent on which he relied does not +prove much in his favour. A Hindoo, named Radachund Metre, was +condemned to death for forgery in 1765, but was pardoned on this +very ground, that capital punishment for such a crime was unheard +of in India. + +(261) Speech on Mr. Fox's East India Bill, Dec. 1st, 1783, + +(262) Fanny's brother, the scholar. He was, at this time, master +of a school at Hammersmith-ED. + +(263) Windham had introduced and carried through the House of +Commons the charge respecting Fyzoolla Khan, the Nawab of +Rampore; but this charge, with many others of the original +articles of impeachment, was not proceeded upon at the trial. +Fyzoolla Khan was one of the Rohilla chiefs, who, more fortunate +than the rest, had been permitted by treaty, after the conquest +of Rohilcund in 17 74, to retain possession of Rampore as a +vassal of the Vizier of Oude. By this treaty the Nawab of +Rampore was empowered to maintain an army of 5,000 horse and foot +in all and in return he bound himself to place from 2,000 to +3,000 troops at the disposal of the Vizier whenever that +assistance might be required. In November, 1780, the Vizier, or +rather, Hastings, speaking by the mouth of the Vizier, called +upon Fyzoolla Khan to furnish forthwith a contingent of 5,000 +horse. The unhappy Nawab offered all the assistance in his +power, but not only Was the demand unwarranted by the terms of +the treaty, but the number of horse required was far greater than +he had the means to furnish. Thereupon Mr. Hastings gave +permission to the Vizier to dispossess his vassal of his +dominions. This iniquitous scheme, however, was never carried +out, and in 1782, Fyzoolla Khan made his peace with the +Governor-General, and procured his own future exemption from +military service, by payment of a large sum of money.-ED. + +(264) Mr. Hastings's enemy was Mr. afterwards Sir Philip Francis, +by some people supposed to have been the author of "Junius's +Letters." The best friend of Mr. Hastings here alluded to was +Clement Francis, Esq. of Aylsham, in Norfolk, who married +Charlotte, fourth daughter of Dr. Burney. [Francis, though an +active supporter of the impeachment, was not one of the +"managers." He had been nominated to the committee by Burke, but +rejected by the House, on the ground of his well-known animosity +to Hastings.-ED.) + +(265) After all, Impey escaped impeachment. In December, 1787, +Sir Gilbert Elliot, one of the managers of Hastings' impeachment, +brought before the House of Commons six charges against Impey, of +which the first, and most serious, related to the death of +Nuncomar. The charges were referred to a committee, before which +Impey made his defence, February 4, 1788. On May 9, a division +was taken on the first charge, and showed a majority of eighteen +in favour of Impey. The subject was resumed, May 27, and finally +disposed of by the rejection of sir Gilbert Elliot's motion +without a division-ED. + +(266) Saturday, February 16, 1788.-ED. + +(267) Macaulay attributes perhaps too exclusively to Court +influence Fanny's prepossession in favour of Hastings. It should +be remembered that her family and many of her friends were, +equally with herself, partisans of Hastings, to whom, moreover, +she had been first introduced by a much valued friend, Mr. +Cambridge (see ante, vol. i., P. 326).-ED. + +(268) "Miss Fuzilier" is the name given in the "Diary" to Miss +Charlotte Margaret Gunning, daughter of Sir Robert Gunning. She +married Colonel Digby ("Mr. Fairly") in 1790.-ED. + +(269) This would seem to fix the date as Thursday, February 21, +Thursday being mentioned by Fanny as the Court-day (see ante, p. +125). According, however, to Debrett's "History of the Trial," +Fox spoke on the charge relating to Cheyt Sing on Friday, +February 22, the first day of the Court's sitting since the +preceding Tuesday.-ED. ' + +(270) The managers had desired that each charge should be taken +separately, and replied to, before proceeding to the next. +Hastings's counsel, on the other hand, demanded that all the +charges should be presented before the defence was opened. The +Lords, by a large majority, decided against the managers.-ED. + +(271) Windham relates that when he called upon Dr. Johnson, six +days before his death, Johnson put into his hands a copy of the +New Testament, saying "Extremum hoc mumus morientis habeto." See +the extracts from Windham's journal in Croker's "Boswell," v., +326. In a codicil to Johnson's will, dated Dec. 9, 1784, +we find, among other bequests of books, "to Mr. Windham, Poete +Greci Henrici per Henriculum Stephanum."-ED. + +(272) i.e. to the benches assigned to the Commons in Westminster +Hall. These immediately adjoined the chamberlain's box in which +Miss Burney was seated.-ED. + +(273) Mrs. Delany died on the 15th of April, 1788.-ED. + +(274) Her sister Susan and Mrs. Locke. The day referred to must +have been Friday, April 11th, on which day Mr. Anstruther spoke +on the charge relating to Cheyt Sing.-ED. +(275) See ante, vol. 1, p. 220.-ED. + +(276) The young son of Colonel Digby.-ED. + +(277) Mrs. Haggerdorn, Fanny's predecessor in office. See ante, +p. 26.-ED. + + + +Page 154 + SECTION 13 + (1788.) + + + ROYAL VISIT TO CHELTENHAM. + +(Since her establishment at Court we have not yet found Fanny so +content with her surroundings as she shows herself in the +following section of the " Diary." The comparative quiet of +country life at Cheltenham was far more to her taste than the +tiresome splendours of Windsor and St. James's. She had still, +it is true, her official duties to perform : it was Court life +still, but Court life en déshabille. But her time was otherwise +more at her own disposal, and, above all things, the absence of +"Cerbera," as she nicknamed the amiable Mrs. Schwellenberg and +the presence of Colonel Digby, contributed to restore to her +harassed mind that tranquillity which is so pleasantly apparent +in the following pages. + +In the frequent society of Colonel Digby Fanny seems to have +found an enjoyment peculiarly adapted to her reserved and +sensitive disposition. The colonel was almost equally retiring +and sensitive with herself, and his natural seriousness was +deepened by sorrow for the recent loss of his wife. A +similarity of tastes, as well as (in some respects) of +disposition, drew him continually to Fanny's tea-table, and the +gentleness of his manners, the refined and intellectual character +of his conversation, so unlike the Court gossip to which she was +usually condemned to remain a patient listener, caused her more +and more to welcome his visits and to regret his departure. "How +unexpected an indulgence," she writes, "a luxury, I may say, to +me, are these evenings now becoming!" The colonel reads to her- +-poetry, love-letters, even sermons, and while she listens to +such reading, and such a reader, her work goes on with an +alacrity that renders it all pleasure. The friendship which grew +up between them was evidently, at least on the part of Fanny, of +a more than ordinarily tender description. Whether, had +circumstances permitted, it might have ripened into a feeling yet +more tender, must remain a matter of speculation. Circumstances +did not permit, and in after years both married elsewhere.-ED.] +Page 155 + + THE ROYAL PARTY AND THEIR SUITE. + +July.-Early in this month the king's indisposition occasioned +the plan of his going to Cheltenham, to try the effect of the +waters drank upon the spot. It was settled that the party should +be the smallest that was possible, as his majesty was to inhabit +the house of Lord Fauconberg, vacated for that purpose, which was +very small. He resolved upon only taking his equerry in waiting +and pages, etc. Lord Courtown, his treasurer of the household, +was already at Cheltenham, and therefore at hand to attend. +The queen agreed to carry her lady of the bedchamber in waiting, +with Miss Planta and F. B., and none others but wardrobe-women +for herself and the princesses. + +Mr. Fairly was here almost all the month previously to our +departure. At first it was concluded he and Colonel Gwynn, the +equerry in waiting, were to belong wholly to the same table with +Miss Planta and me, and Mr. Fairly threatened repeatedly how well +we should all know one another, and how well he would study and +know us all au fond. + +But before we set out the plan was all changed, for the king +determined to throw aside all state, and make the two gentlemen +dine at his own table. "We shall have, therefore," said Mr. +Fairly, with a very civil regret, "no tea-meetings at +Cheltenham." + +This, however, was an opening- to me of time and leisure +such as I had never yet enjoyed. + +Now, my dearest friends, I open an account which promises at +least all the charms of novelty, and which, if it fulfils its +promise, will make this month rather an episode than a +continuation of my prosaic performance. So now for yesterday, +Saturday, July 12. + +We were all up at five o'clock; and the noise and confusion +reigning through the house, and resounding all around it, from +the quantities of people stirring, boxes nailing, horses +neighing, and dogs barking, was tremendous. + +I must now tell you the party:--Their majesties; the princesses +Royal, Augusta, and Elizabeth; Lady Weymouth, Mr. Fairly, +Colonel Gwynn, Miss Planta, and a person you have sometimes met; +pages for king, queen, and princesses, ward- + +Page 156 + +robe-women for ditto, and footmen for all. A smaller party for a +royal excursion cannot well be imagined. How we shall all manage +heaven knows. Miss Planta and myself are allowed no maid; the +house would not hold one. + + +The royal party set off first, to stop and breakfast at Lord +Harcourt's at Nuneham. You will easily believe Miss Planta and +myself were not much discomfited in having orders to proceed +straight forward. You know we have been at Nuneham! + +Mrs. Sandys, the queen's wardrobe-woman, and Miss Macentomb, the +princesses', accompanied us. At Henley-on-Thames, at an inn +beautifully situated, we stopped to breakfast, and at Oxford to +take a sort of half dinner. + + + LOYALTY NOT DAMPED BY THE RAIN. + +The crowd gathered together upon the road, waiting for the king +and queen to pass, was immense, and almost unbroken from Oxford +to Cheltenham. Every town and village within twenty miles seemed +to have been deserted, to supply all the pathways with groups of +anxious spectators. Yet, though so numerus, so quiet were they, +and so new to the practices of a hackneyed mob, that their +curiosity never induced them to venture within some yards of the +royal carriage, and their satisfaction never broke forth into +tumult and acclamation. + +In truth, I believe they never were aware of the moment in which +their eagerness met its gratification. Their majesties travelled +wholly without guards or state; and I am convinced, from the time +we advanced beyond Oxford, they were taken only for their own +attendants. + +All the towns through which we passed were filled with people, as +closely fastened one to another as they appear in the pit of the +playhouse. Every town seemed all face; and all the way upon the +road we rarely proceeded five miles without encountering a band +of most horrid fiddlers, scraping "God save the king" with all +their might, out of tune, out of time, and all in the rain; for, +most unfortunately, there were continual showers falling all the +day. This was really a subject for serious regret, such numbers +of men, women, and children being severely sufferers; yet +standing it all through with such patient loyalty, that I am +persuaded not even a hail or thunder storm would have dispersed +them. + +The country, for the most part, that we traversed, was ex- + +Page 157 + +tremely pretty; and, as we advanced nearer to our place Of +destination, it became quite beautiful. + + + ARRIVAL AT FAUCONBERG HALL. + +When we arrived at Cheltenham, which is almost all one street, +extremely long, clean and well paved, we had to turn out of the +public way about a quarter of a mile, to proceed to Fauconberg +Hall, which my Lord Fauconberg has lent for the king's use during +his stay at this place. + +it is, indeed, situated on a most sweet spot, surrounded with +lofty hills beautifully variegated, and bounded, for the +principal object, with the hills of Malvern, Which, here +barren, and there cultivated, here all chalk, and there all +verdure, reminded me of How hill, and gave Me an immediate +sensation of reflected as well as of visual pleasure, from giving +to my new habitation +some resemblance of NorbUry park. + +When we had mounted the gradual ascent on which +the house stands, + the crowd all around it was as one head! We stopped within +twenty yards of the door, uncertain how to proceed. All the +royals were at the windows; and to pass this multitude--to wade +through it, rather,--was a most +disagreeable operation. However, we had no choice: we therefore +got out, and, leaving the wardrobe-women to find the way to the +back-door, Miss Planta and I glided on to the front one, where we +saw the two gentlemen and where, as soon as we got up the steps, +we encountered the king. He inquired +most graciously concerning our journey; and Lady Weymouth came +down-stairs to summon me to the queen, who was in excellent +spirits, and said she would show me her room. + +"This, ma'am!" cried I, as I entered it--"is this little room for +your majesty?" + +"O stay," cried she, laughing, "till you see your own before you +call it 'little'." + +Soon after, she sent me upstairs for that purpose ; and then, to +be sure, I began to think less diminutively of that I had just +quitted. + +Mine, with one window, has just space to crowd in a bed, a chest +of drawers, and three small chairs. The prospect + from the window, is extremely pretty, and all IS +new and clean. So I doubt not being very comfortable, as I am +senza Cerbera,(278)--though having no maid + is a real evil to + +Page 158 + +one so little her own mistress as myself. I little wanted the +fagging of my own clothes and dressing, to add to my daily +fatigues. + +I began a little unpacking and was called to dinner. Columb, +happily, is allowed me, and he will be very useful, I am sure. +Miss alone dined with me, and we are to be companions constant at +all meals, and t`ete-`a-t`ete, during this sejour. She is +friendly and well disposed, and I am perfectly content; and the +more, as I know she will not take up my leisure Unnecessarily, +for she finds sauntering in the open air very serviceable to her +health, and she has determined to make that her chief occupation. +Here, therefore, whenever I am not in attendance, or at meals, I +expect the singular comfort of having my time wholly unmolested, +and at my own disposal. + + + THE TEA-TABLE DIFFICULTY. + +A little parlour, which formerly had belonged to Lord +Fauconberg's housekeeper, is now called mine, and here Miss +Planta and myself are to breakfast and dine. But for tea we +formed a new plan: as Mr. Fairly had himself told me he +understood there would be no tea-table at Cheltenham, I +determined to stand upon no ceremony with Colonel Gwynn, but +fairly and at once take and appropriate my afternoons to my own +inclinations. To prevent, therefore, any surprise or alteration, +we settled to have our tea upstairs. + +But then a difficulty arose as to where ? We had each equally +small bed-rooms, and no dressing-room; but, at length, we fixed +on the passage, near a window looking over Malvern hills and much +beautiful country. + +This being arranged, we went mutually on with our unpackings, +till we were both too thirsty to work longer. Having no maid to +send, and no bell to ring for my man, I then made out my way +downstairs, to give Columb directions for our teaequipage. + +After two or three mistakes, of peering into royal rooms, I at +length got safe to my little parlour, but still was at a loss +where to find Columb; and while parading in and out, in hopes of +meeting with some assistant, I heard my name inquired for from +the front door. I looked out, and saw Mrs. Tracy, senior +bedchamber-woman to the queen. She is at Cheltenham for her +health, and came to pay her duty in inquiries, and so forth. + +Page 159 + +I conducted her to my little store-room, for such it looks, from +its cupboards and short checked window curtains; and we chatted +upon the place and the expedition, till Columb came to tell me +that Mr. Fairly desired to speak with me. I waited upon him +immediately, in the passage leading to the kitchen stairs, for +that was my salle d'audience. + +He was with Lord Courtown; they apologised for disturbing me, but +Mr. Fairly said he came to solicit leave that they might join my +tea-table for this night only, as they would give orders to be +supplied in their own apartments the next day, and not intrude +upon me any more, nor break into my time and retirement. + +This is literally the first instance I have met, for now two +whole years, of being understood as to my own retiring +inclinations; and it is singular I should first meet with it from +the only person who makes them waver. + +I begged them to come in, and ordered tea. They are well +acquainted with Mrs. Tracy, and I was very glad she happened to +stay. + +Poor Miss Planta, meanwhile, I was forced to leave in the lurch; +for I could not propose the bed-room passage to my present +company, and she was undressed and unpacking. + +Very soon the king, searching for his gentlemen, found out my +room, and entered. He admired It prodigiously, and inquired +concerning all our accommodations. He then gave Mr. Fairly a +commission to answer an address, or petition, or some such thing +to the master of the ceremonies, and, after half an hour's chat, +retired. + +Colonel Gwynn found us out also, but was eager to find out more +company, and soon left us to go and look over the books at the +rooms, for the list of the company here. + + +A TETE-A-TETE WITH COLONEL FAIRLY. + +After tea Mrs. Tracy went, and the king sent for Lord Courtown. +Mr. Fairly was going too, and I was preparing to return upstairs +to my toils; but he presently changed his design, and asked leave +to stay a little longer, if I was at leisure. At leisure I +certainly was not but I was most content to work double tides for +the pleasure of his company, especially where given thus +voluntarily, and not accepted officially. + +Page 160 + +What creatures are we all for liberty and freedom! Rebels +partout! +"Soon as the life-blood warms the heart, +The love of liberty awakes!" + +Ah, my dear friends! I wrote that with a sigh that might have +pierced through royal walls! + +>From this circumstance we entered into discourse with no little +spirit. I felt flattered, and he knew he had given me de quoi: +so we were both in mighty good humour. Our sociability, however, +had very soon an interruption. The king re-entered ; he started +back at sight of our diminished party, and exclaimed, with a sort +of arch surprise, "What! only You two?" + +Mr. Fairly laughed a little, and Ismiled ditto! But I had rather +his majesty had made such a comment on any other of his +establishment, if make it he must; since I am sure Mr. Fairly's +aversion to that species of raillery is equal to my Own. + +The king gave some fresh orders about the letter, and instantly +went away. As soon as he was gone, Mr. Fairly,--perhaps to show +himself superior to that little sally,--asked me whether he might +write his letter in my room? + +"O yes," cried I, with all the alacrity of the same superiority. + +He then went in search of a page, for pen and ink, and told me, +on returning, that the king had just given orders for writing +implements for himself and Colonel Gwynn to be placed in the +dining-parlour, of which they were, henceforth, to have the use +as soon as the dinner-party had separated; and after to-night, +therefore, he should intrude himself upon me no +more. I had half a mind to say I was very sorry for it! I +assure you I felt so. + +He pretended to require my assistance in his letter, and +consulted and read over all that he writ. So I gave my opinion +as he went on, though I think it really possible he might have +done without me! + +Away then he went with it, to dispatch it by a royal footman; and +I thought him gone, and was again going myself, when he +returned,--surprising me not a little by saying. as he held the +door in his hand, "Will there be any--impropriety--in my staying +here a little logger?" +I must have said no, if I had thought yes; but it would not have +been so plump and ready a no! and I should not, with + +Page 161 + +quite so courteous a grace, have added that his stay could do me +nothing but honour. + +On, therefore, we sat, discoursing on various subjects, till the +twilight made him rise to take leave. He was in much better +spirits than I have yet seen him, and I know not when I have +spent an hour more socially to my taste. Highly cultivated by +books, and uncommonly fertile in stores of internal resource, he +left me nothing to wish, for the time I spent with him, but that +"the Fates, the Sisters Three, and suchlike branches of +learning," would interfere against the mode of future separation +planned for the remainder of our expedition. Need I more +strongly than this mark the very rare pleasure I received from +his conversation? + +Not a little did poor Miss Planta marvel what had become of me; +and scarce less was her marvel when she had heard my adventures. +She had told me how gladly the gentlemen would seize the +opportunity of a new situation, to disengage themselves from the +joint tea-table, and we had mutually agreed to use all means +possible for seconding this partition; but I had been too well +satisfied this night, to make any further efforts about the +matter, and I therefore inwardly resolved to let the future take +care of itself--certain it could not be inimical to me, since +either it must give me Mr. Fairly in a party, or time for my own +disposal in solitude. + +This pleasant beginning has given a spirit to all my expectations +and my fatigues in this place; and though it cost me near two +hours from my downy pillow to recover lost time, I stole them +without repining, and arose--dead asleep--this morning, without a +murmur. + + + THE KING's GENTLEMEN AND THE QUEEN's LADIES. +Sunday, July 13--I was obliged to rise before six o'clock, that I +might play the part of dresser to myself, before I played it to +the queen; so that did not much recruit the fatigues of +yesterday's rising and journey! Not a little was I surprised to +be told, this morning, by her majesty, that the gentlemen were to +breakfast with Miss Planta and me, every morning, by the king's +orders. + +When I left the queen, I found them already in my little parlour. + Mr. Fairly came to the door to meet me, and hand me into the +room, telling me of the new arrangement of the king, with an air +of very civil satisfaction. Colonel Gwynn + +Page 162 + +appeared precisely as I believe he felt,-perfectly indifferent to +the matter. Miss Planta joined us, and Columb was hurried to get +ready, lest the king should summon his esquires before they had +broken their fast. Mr. Fairly undertook to settle our seats, and +all the etiquette of the tea-table; and I was very well content, +for when he had placed me where he conceived I should be most +commodiously situated, he fixed upon the place next me for +himself, and desired we might all keep to our posts. It was next +agreed, that whoever came first to the room should order and make +the tea; for I must often be detained by my waiting, and the king +is so rapid in his meals, that whoever attends him must be rapid +also, or follow fasting. Mr. Fairly said he should +already have hastened Columb, had he not apprehended it might be +too great a liberty ; for they had waited near half an hour, and +expected a call every half minute. I set him perfectly at his +ease upon this subject, assuring him I should be very little at +mine if he had ever the same scruple again. He had been in +waiting, he said, himself, ever since a quarter after five +o'clock in the morning, at which time he showed himself under the +king's window, and walked before the house till six! I was +beginning to express my compassion for this harass, but he +interrupted me with shrewdly saying, " + +"O, this will save future fatigue, for it will establish me such +a character for early rising and punctuality, that I may now do +as I will: 'tis amazing what privileges a man obtains for taking +liberties, when once his character is established for taking +none." + +Neither Miss Planta nor myself could attempt going to church, we +had both so much actual business to do for ourselves, in +unpacking, and fitting up our rooms, etc. The rest of the day was +all fasting, till the evening, and then--who should enter my +little parlour, after all the speechifying Of only one night," +made yesterday, but Mr. Fairly, Colonel Gwynn, and Lord Courtown! +Whether this, again, is by the king's command, or in consequence +of the morning arrangement, I know not: but not a word more has +dropped of "no evening tea-table;" so, whether we are to unite, +or to separate, in future, I know not, and, which is far more +extraordinary, I care not! Nobody but you could imagine what +a compliment that is, from me! I had made Miss Planta promise, +in case such a thing should happen, to come down; and she was +very ready, and + +Page 163 + +we had a very cheerful evening. Great difficulties, however, +arose about our tea-equipage, So few things are brought, or at +least are yet arrived, that Columb is forced to be summoned every +other moment, and I have no bell, and dare not, for this short +time, beg for one, as my man herds with the King's men; besides, +I have no disposition to make a fuss here, where every body takes +up with every thing that they get. + +In lamenting, however, the incessant trouble I was obliged to +give the gentlemen, of running after Columb, I told Mr. Fairly my +obligation, at Windsor, to Colonel Wellbred, for my bell there. + +"O yes," cried he, laughing, "I am not surprised; Colonel +Wellbred is quite the man for a 'belle!'" + +"Yes," cried I, "that he is indeed, and for a 'beau' too." + +"O ho! you think him so, do you?" quoth he: to which my prompt +assent followed. + + + ROYALTY CROWDED AT FAUCONBERG HALL. + +The royal family had all been upon the walks. I have agreed with +myself not to go thither till they have gone through the news- +mongers' drawing up of them and their troop. I had rather avoid +all mention and after a few days, I may walk there as if not +belonging to them, as I am not of place or rank to follow in +their train. + +But let me give you, now, an account of the house and +accommodation. + +On the ground-floor there is one large and very pleasant room, +which is made the dining-parlour. The king and royal family also +breakfast in it, by themselves, except the lady-in-waiting, Lady +Weymouth. They sup there also, in the same manner. The +gentlemen only dine with them, I find. They are to breakfast +with us, to drink tea where they will, and to sup--where they +can; and I rather fancy, from what I have yet seen, it will be +commonly with good Duke Humphrey. + +A small, but very neat dressing-room for his majesty is on the +other side of the hall, and my little parlour is the third and +only other room on the ground-floor: so you will not think our +monarch, his consort and offspring, take up too much of the land +called their own ! + +Over this eating- parlour, on the first floor, is the queen's +drawing-room, in which she is also obliged to dress and to un- + + +Page 164 + +dress for she has no toilette apartment! Who, after that, can +repine at any inconvenience here for the household? Here, after +breakfast, she sits, with her daughters and her lady and Lady +Courtown, who, with her lord, is lodged in the town of +Cheltenham. And here they drink tea, and live till suppertime. + +Over the king's dressing-room is his bed-room, and over my +store-room is the bed-room of the princess-royal. And here ends +the first floor. + +The second is divided and sub-divided into bed-rooms, which are +thus occupied:--Princess Augusta and Princess Elizabeth sleep in +two beds, in the largest room. Lady Weymouth occupies that next +in size. Miss Planta and myself have two little rooms, built +over the king's bed-room and Mrs. Sandys and Miss Macentomb, and +Lady Weymouth's maid, have the rest. + +This is the whole house! Not a man but the king sleeps In it. + +A house is taken in the town for Mr. Fairly and Colonel Gwynn, +and there lodge several of the servants, and among them Columb. +The pages sleep in outhouses. Even the house-maids lodge in the +town, a quarter of a mile or more from the house! + +Lord Courtown, as comptroller of the household, acts here for the +king, in distributing his royal bounty to the Wells, rooms, +library, and elsewhere. He has sent around very magnificently. + +We are surrounded by pleasant meadows, in which I mean to walk a +great deal. They are so quiet and so safe, I can go quite alone; +and when I have not a first-rate companion, my second best is- +-none at all! But I expect, very soon, my poor Miss Port, and I +shall have her with me almost constantly. + + + AT THE WELLS. + +Monday, July 14-This morning I was again up at five o'clock, Miss +Planta having asked me to accompany her to the wells. The queen +herself went this morning, at six o'clock, with his majesty. It +is distant about a quarter of a mile from Lord Fauconberg's. I +tasted the water, for once; I shall +spare myself any such future regale, for it is not prescribed to +me, and I think it very unpleasant. + +This place and air seem very healthy; but the very early + +Page 165 + +hours, and no maid! I almost doubt how this will do. The fatigue +is very great indeed. + +We were too soon for the company, except the royals. We met them +all, and were spoken to most graciously by every one. We all +came back to breakfast much at the same time, and it was very +cheerful. + +I spent all the rest of the day in hard fagging, at work and +business, and attendance; but the evening amply recompensed it +all. Lord Courtown, Mr. Fairly, Colonel Gwynn, and Miss Planta, +came to tea. My Lord and Colonel Gwynn retired after it, to go +to the rooms; Mr. Fairly said he Would wait to make his bow to +his majesty, and see if there were any commands for him. + + + CONVERSATION AND FLIRTATION WITH COLONEL FAIRLY. +And then we had another very long conversation, and if I did not +write in so much haste, my dear friends would like to read it. + +Our subject to-night--his subject, rather--was, the necessity of +participation, to every species of happiness. "His" subject, you +may easily believe; for to him should I never have dared touch on +one so near and so tender to him. Fredy, however, could join +With him more feelingly--though he kept perfectly clear of all +that was personal, to which I Would not have led for a thousand +worlds. He seems born with the tenderest social affections; and, +though religiously resigned to his loss--which, I have been told, +the hopeless sufferings of Lady - rendered, at last, even a +release to be desired--he thinks life itself, single and +unshared, a mere melancholy burthen, and the wish to have done +with it appears the only wish he indulges. +I could not perceive this without the deepest commiseration, but +I did what was possible to conceal it; as it is much more easy, +both to the hearer and the speaker, to lead the discourse to +matters more lively, under an appearance of being ignorant of the +state of a sad heart, than with a betrayed consciousness. + +We talked of books, and not a little I astonished him by the +discovery I was fain to make, of the number of authors I have +never yet read. Particularly he instanced Akenside, and quoted +from him some passages I have heard selected by Mr, Locke. + +Page 166 + +Then we talked of the country, of landscapes, of walking, and +then, again, came back the favourite proposition,--participation! +That, he said, could make an interest in anything,--everything; +and O, how did I agree with him! There is sympathy enough, +heaven knows, in our opinions on this subject + +But not in what followed. I am neither good nor yet miserable +enough to join with him in what he added, -that life, taken all +in all, was of so little worth and value, it could afford its +thinking possessor but one steady wish,--that its duration might +be short! + +Alas! thought I, that a man so good should be so unhappy! + +We then came back again to books, and he asked us if we had read +a little poem called the "Shipwreck"?(279) Neither of us had +even heard of it. He said it was somewhat too long, and somewhat +too technical, but that it contained many beautiful passages. He +had it with him, he said, and proposed sending Columb for it, to +his house, if we should like to read it. We thanked him, and off +marched Columb. It is in a very small duodecimo volume, and he +said he would leave it with me. + +Soon after, Miss Planta said she would stroll round the house for +a little exercise. When she was gone, he took up the book, and +said, "Shall I read some passages to you? I most gladly assented, +and got my work,--of which I have no small store, believe me!-- +morning caps, robins, etc., all to prepare from day to day; +which, with my three constant and long attendances, and other +official company ceremonies, is no small matter. + +The passages he selected were really beautiful: they were chiefly +from an episode, of Palemon and Anna, excessively delicate, yet +tender in the extreme, and most touchingly melancholy. + +One line he came to, that he read with an emotion extremely +affecting-- 'tis a sweet line-- + +"He felt the chastity of silent woe." + +He stopped upon it, and sighed so deeply that his sadness quite +infected me. + +Then he read various characters of the ship's company, + +Page 167 + +which are given with much energy and discrimination. I could not +but admire every passage he chose, and I was sensible each of +them owed much obligation to his reading, which was full of +feeling and effect. + + +How unwillingly did I interrupt him, to go upstairs and wait my +night's summons! But the queen has no bell for me, except to my +bed-room. + +He hastily took the hint, and rose to go. "Shall I leave the +poem," he cried, "or take it with me, in case there should be any +leisure to go on with it to-morrow?" + +"Which you please," cried I, a little stupidly, for I did not, at +the moment, comprehend his meaning which, however, he immediately +explained by answering, "Let me take it, then;--let me make a +little interest in it to myself, by reading it with you." + +And then he put it in his pocket, and went to his home in the +town, and up stairs went I to my little cell, not a little +internally simpering to see a trait so like what so often I have +done myself,--carrying off a favourite book, when I have begun it +with my Susanna, that we might finish it together, without +leaving her the temptation to peep beforehand, + + + MISS BURNEY MEETS AN OLD FRIEND. + +Tuesday, July 15--While the royals were upon the walks, Miss +Planta and I strolled in the meadows, and who should I meet +there--but Mr. Seward! This was a great pleasure to me. I had +never seen him since the first day of my coming to St. jades's, +when he handed me into my father's coach, in my sacque and long +ruffles. You may think how much we had to talk over. He had a +gentleman with him, fortunately, who was acquainted with Miss +Planta's brother, so that we formed two parties, without +difficulty. All my aim was to inquire about Mrs. Piozzi,--I +must, at last, call her by her now real name!--and of her we +conversed incessantly. He told me Mr. Baretti's late attack upon +her, which I heard with great concern.(280) It seems he has +broken off all intercourse with her, and + +Page 168 + +not from his own desire, but by her evident wish to drop him. +This is very surprising ; but many others of her former friends, +once highest in her favour, make the same complaint. + +We strolled so long, talking over this ever- interesting subject, +that the royals were returned before us, and we found Mr. Fairly +waiting in my parlour. The rest soon joined. Mr. Seward had +expected to be invited; but it is impossible for me to invite any +body while at Cheltenham, as there is neither exit nor entrance +but by passing the king's rooms, and as I have no place but this +little common parlour in which I can sit, except my own room. + +Neither could I see Mr. Seward anywhere else, as my dear friends +will easily imagine, when they recollect all that has passed, on +the subject of my visitors, with her majesty and with Mr. Smelt. +He told me he had strolled in those meadows every day, to watch +if I were of the party. + + + COLONEL FAIRLY AGAIN. + +Mr. Fairly again out-stayed them all. Lord Courtown generally is +summoned to the royal party after tea, and Colonel Gwynn goes to +the town in quest of acquaintance and amusement. Mr. Fairly has +not spirit for such researches ; I question, indeed, if he ever +had taste for them. + +When Miss Planta, went off for her exercise, he again proposed a +little reading, which again I thankfully accepted. He took out +the little poem, and read on the mournful tale of Anna, with a +sensibility that gave pathos to every word. + +How unexpected an indulgence--a luxury, I may say, to me, are +these evenings now becoming! While I listen to such reading and +such a reader, all my work goes on with an alacrity that renders +it all pleasure to me. I have had no regale like this for many +and many a grievous long evening ! never since I left Norbury +park,-never since my dear Fredy there read Madame de S6vign6. +And how little could I expect, in a royal residence, a relief of +this sort! Indeed, I much question if there is one other person, +in the whole establishment, that, in an equal degree, could +afford it. Miss Planta, though extremely friendly, is almost +wholly absorbed in the cares of her royal duties, and the +solicitude + +Page 169 + +of her ill-health : she takes little interest in anything else, +whether for conversation or action. We do together perfectly +well, for she is good, and sensible, and prudent, and ready for +any kind office: but the powers of giving pleasure are not widely +bestowed: we have no right to repine that they are wanting where +the character that misses them has intrinsic worth but, also, we +have no remedy against weariness, where that worth is united with +nothing attractive. + +I was forced again, before ten o'clock, to interrupt his +interesting narrative, that I might go to my room. He now said +he would leave me the book to look over and finish at my leisure, +upon one condition, which he begged me to observe: this was, that +I would read with a pen or pencil In my hand, and mark the +passages that pleased me most as I went on. I readily promised +this. + +He then gave it me, but desired I would keep it to myself, +frankly acknowledging that he did not wish to have it seen by any +other, at least not as belonging to him. There was nothing, he +said of which he had less ambition than a character for bookism +and pedantry, and he knew if it was spread that he was guilty of +carrying a book from one house to another, it would be a +circumstance sufficient for branding him with these epithets. + +I could not possibly help laughing a little at this caution, but +again gave him my ready promise. + + + A VISIT TO MISS PALMER. + +Wednesday, July 16.-This morning we had the usual breakfast, and +just as it was over I received a note from Miss Palmer, saying +she was uncertain whether or not I was at Cheltenham, by not +meeting me on the walks or at the play, but wrote to mention that +she was with Lady D'Oyley, and hoped, if I was one of the royal +suite, my friends might have some chance to see me here, though +wholly denied it in town. I sent for answer that I would call +upon her; and as no objection was made by her majesty, I went to +Sir John D'Oyley's as soon as the royal party rode out. + +I found Miss Palmer quite thoroughly enraged. We had never met +since I left the paternal home, though I am always much indebted +to her warm zeal. Sir John and Lady D'Oyley are a mighty gentle +pair. Miss Palmer could make them no better present than a +little of her vivacity. Miss Elizabeth + +Page 170 + +Johnson, her cousin, is of their party : She is pretty, soft, and +pleasing; but, unhappily, as deaf as her uncle, Sir Joshua which, +in a young female, is a real misfortune. +To quiet Miss Palmer as much as I was able, I agreed tonight that +I would join her on the walks. Accordingly, at the usual time I +set out with Miss Planta, whom I was to introduce to the +D'Oyleys. Just as we set out we perceived the king and his three +gentlemen, for Lord Courtown is a constant attendant every +evening. We were backing on as well as we Could, but his majesty +perceived us, and called to ask whither we were going. We met +Mr. Seward, who joined us. + +There is nothing to describe in the walks : they are straight, +clay, and sided by common trees, without any rich foliage, or one +beautiful opening. The meadows, and all the country around, are +far preferable: yet here everybody meets. All the D'Oyley party +came, and Miss Planta slipped away. + +The king and queen walked in the same state as on the Terrace at +Windsor, followed by the three princesses and their attendants. +Everybody stopped and stood up as they passed, or as they stopped +themselves to speak to any of the company. + +In one of these stoppings, Lord Courtown backed a little from the +suite to talk with us, and he said he saw what benefit I reaped +from the waters! I told him I Supposed I might be the better for +the excursion, according to the definition of a water-drinking +person by Mr. Walpole, who says people go to those places well, +and then return cured! Mr. Fairly afterwards also joined us a +little while, and Miss Palmer said she longed to know him more, +there was something so fine in his countenance. + +They invited me much to go home with them to tea, but I was +engaged. We left the walks soon after the royal family, and they +carried me near the house in Sir John D'Oyley's coach. I walked, +however, quietly in by myself; and in my little parlour I found +Mr. Fairly. The others were gone off to the play without tea, +and the moment it was over Miss Planta hurried to her own stroll. + + + "ORIGINAL LOVE LETTERS." + +This whole evening I spent t`ete-`a-t`ete with Mr. Fairly. There +is something singular in the perfect trust he seems to have in my +discretion, for he speaks to me when we are alone with a +frankness unequalled and something very flattering in the + + +Page 171 +apparent relief he seems to find in dedicating what time he has +to dispose of to my little parlour. In the long conference of +this evening I found him gifted with the justest way of thinking +and the most classical taste. I speak that word only as I may +presume 'to judge it by English literature. + +"I have another little book," he said, "here, which I am sure you +would like, but it has a title so very silly that nobody reads or +names it: 'Original Love-Letters;(281)--from which you might +expect mere nonsense and romance, though, on the contrary, you +would find in them nothing but good sense, moral reflections, and +refined ideas, clothed in the most expressive and elegant +language." + +How I longed to read a book that had such a character!--yet, +laughable and prudish as it may seem to you, I could not bring +myself to accept the half-offer, or make any other reply than to +exclaim against the injudiciousness of the title-page. + +Yet, whatever were our subjects, books, life, or persons, all +concluded with the same melancholy burthen--speed to his +existence here, and welcome to that he is awaiting! I fear he has +been unfortunate from his first setting out.' + + + + THE FOUNDER OF SUNDAY SCHOOLS CRITICIZED. +July 19.--The breakfast missed its best regale Mr. Fairly was +ill, and confined to his room all day. + +The royal party went to Lord Bathurst's, at Cirencester, and the +queen commanded Miss Planta and me to take an airing to +Gloucester, and amuse ourselves as well as we could. Miss Planta +had a previous slight acquaintance with Mr. Raikes and to his +house, therefore, we drove. + +Mr. Raikes(282) was the original founder of the Sunday-school, an +institution so admirable, so fraught, I hope, with future good +and mercy to generations yet unborn, that I saw almost with +reverence the man who had first suggested it. He lives at + +Page 172 + +Gloucester with his wife and a large family. They all +received us with open arms. I was quite amazed, but soon +found some of the pages had been with them already, and announced +our design; and as we followed the pages, perhaps they concluded +we also were messengers, or avant-courieres, of what else might +be expected. Mr. Raikes is not a man that, without a previous +disposition towards approbation, I should greatly have admired. +He is somewhat too flourishing, somewhat too forward, somewhat +too voluble ; but he is worthy, benevolent, good-natured, and +good-hearted, and therefore the overflowing of successful spirits +and delighted vanity must meet with some allowance. His wife is a +quiet and unpretending woman: his daughters common sort of +country misses. They seem to live with great hospitality, +plenty, and good cheer. They gave us a grand breakfast, and then +did the honours of their city to us with great patriotism. They +carried us to their fine old cathedral, where we saw the tomb of +poor Edward II., and many more ancient. Several of the Saxon +princes were buried in the original cathedral, and their +monuments are preserved. Various of the ancient nobility, whose +names and families were extinct from the Wars of the Roses, have +here left their worldly honours and deposited their last remains. + It was all interesting to see, though I will not detail it, +for any "Gloucester guide" would beat me hollow at that work. +Next they carried us to the jail, to show in how small a space, I +suppose, human beings can live, as well as die or be dead. This +jail is admirably constructed for its proper purposes-- +confinement and punishment. Every culprit is to have a separate +cell; every cell is clean, neat, and small, looking towards a +wide expanse of country, and, far more fitted to his speculation, +a wide expanse of the heavens. Air, cleanliness, and +health seem all considered, but no other indulgence. A +total seclusion of all commerce from accident, and an absolute +impossibility of all intercourse between themselves, must needs +render the captivity secure from all temptation to further guilt, +and all Stimulus to hardihood in past crimes, and makes the +solitude become so desperate that it not only seems to leave no +opening, for any comfort save in repentance, but to make that +almost unavoidable. + +After this they carried us to the Infirmary, where I was yet more +pleased, for the sick and the destitute awaken an interest far +less painful than the wicked and contemned. We went + +Page 173 + +entirely over the house, and then over the city, which has little +else to catch notice. The pin manufactory we did not see, as +they discouraged us by an account of its dirt. + +Mr. Raikes is a very principal man in all these benevolent +institutions; and while I poured forth my satisfaction in them +very copiously and warmly, he hinted a question whether I could +name them to the queen. "Beyond doubt," I answered; "for these +were precisely the things which most interested her majesty's +humanity." The joy with which he heard this was nothing short of +rapture. + + + ON THE WALKS. + +Sunday, July 20-Colonel Gwynn again brought but a bad account of +his companion, who was now under the care of the Cheltenham +apothecary, Mr. Clerke. + +I had appointed in the evening to go on the walks with Miss +Palmer. I scarce ever passed so prodigious a crowd as was +assembled before the house when I went out. The people of the +whole county seemed gathered together to see their majesties; and +so quiet, so decent, so silent, that it was only by the eye they +could be discovered, though so immense a multitude. How unlike a +London mob! + +The king, kindly to gratify their zealous and respectful +curiosity, came to his window, and seeing me go out, he called me +to speak to him, and give an account of my intentions. The +people, observing this graciousness, made way for me on every +side, so that I passed through them with as much facility as if +the meadows had been empty. + +The D'Oyleys and Miss Johnson and Miss Palmer made the walking +party, and Mr. Seward joined us. Mr. Raikes and all his family +were come from Gloucester to see the royal family on the walks, +which were very much crowded, but with the same respectful +multitude, who never came forward, but gazed and admired at the +most humble distance, + +Mr. Raikes introduced me to the Bishop of Gloucester, Dr. +Halifax, and afterwards, much more to my satisfaction, to the +Dean of Gloucester, Dr. Tucker, the famous author of "Cui +bono."(283) I was very glad to see him: he is past eighty, and +has a most shrewd and keen old face. + +Page 174 + +I went afterwards to tea with the D'Oyleys and Miss Palmer, and +Mr. Seward again accompanied us. Miss Palmer brought me home in +Sir John's carriage, making it drive as near as possible to the +house. + +But just before we quitted the walks I was run after by a quick +female step :--"Miss Burney, don't you know me? have you forgot +Spotty?"--and I saw Miss Ogle. She told me she had longed to +come and see me, but did not know if she might. She is here with +her mother and two younger sisters. I promised to wait on them. +Mrs. Oake was daughter to the late Bishop of Winchester, who was +a preceptor of the king's: I knew, therefore, I might promise +with approbation. + + + AN UNEXPECTED VISITOR. + +Monday, July 21.-I was very much disappointed this morning to see +Colonel Gwynn come again alone to breakfast, and to hear from him +that his poor colleague was still confined. + +The royal party all went at ten o'clock to Tewkesbury. About +noon, while I was writing a folio letter to my dear father, of +our proceedings, Mr. Alberts, the queen's page, came into my +little parlour, and said "If you are at leisure, ma'am, Mr. +Fairly begs leave to ask you how you do." + +I was all amazement, for I had concluded his confinement +irremediable for the present. I was quite happy to receive him; +he looked very ill, and his face is still violently swelled. He +had a handkerchief held to it, and was muffled up in a great +coat; and indeed he seemed unfit enough for coming out. + +He apologised for interrupting me. I assured him I should have +ample time for my letter. + +"What a letter!" cried he, looking at its size, "it is just such +a one as I should like to receive, and not--" + +"Read," cried I. + +"No, no !--and not answer!" + + He then sat down, and I saw by his manner he came with design to +make a sociable visit to me. He was serious almost to sadness, +but with a gentleness that could not but raise in whomsoever he +had addressed an implicit sympathy. He led almost immediately to +those subjects on which he loves to + +Page 175 + +dwell--Death and Immortality, and the assured misery of all +stations and all seasons in this vain and restless world. + +I ventured not to contradict him with my happier sentiments, lest +I should awaken some fresh pain. I heard him, therefore, in +quiet and meditative silence, or made but such general answers as +could hazard no allusions. Yet, should I ever see him in better +spirits, I shall not scruple to discuss, in such a way as I can, +this point, and to vindicate as well as I am able my opposite +opinion. + +He told me he had heard a fifth week was to be now added to this +excursion, and he confessed a most anxious solicitude to be gone +before that time. He dropped something, unexplained, yet very +striking, of a peculiar wish to be away ere some approaching +period. + +I felt his meaning, though I had no key to it; I felt that he +coveted to spend in quiet the anniversary of the day on which he +lost his lady. You may believe I could say nothing to it; the +idea was too tender for discussion; nor can I divine whether or +not he wishes to open more on this subject, or is better pleased +by my constant silence to his own allusions. I know not, indeed, +whether he thinks I even understand them. + + + COURTS AND COURT LIFE. + +We then talked over Cheltenham and our way of life, and then ran +into discourse upon Courts and Court life in general. I frankly +said I liked them not, and that, if I had the direction of any +young person's destination, I would never risk them into such a +mode of living; for, though Vices may be as well avoided there as +anywhere 'and in this Court particularly, there were mischiefs of +a smaller kind, extremely pernicious to all nobleness of +character, to which this Court, with all its really bright +examples, was as liable as any other,--the mischiefs of jealousy, +narrowness, and selfishness. + +He did not see, he said, when there was a place of settled income +and appropriated business why it might not be filled both with +integrity and content in a Court as well as elsewhere. Ambition, +the desire of rising, those, he said, were the motives that envy +which set such little passions in motion. One situation, +however, there was, he said, which he looked upon as truly +dangerous, and as almost certain to pervert the fairest +disposition- it was one in which he would not place any person +for whom he had the smallest regard, as he looked upon it to + +Page 176 + +be the greatest hazard a character could run. This was, being +maid of honour. + + + THE VINDICTIVE BARETTI. + +Tuesday, July 22-To-day, at noon, I had a surprise with which I +was very well pleased. His majesty opened the door of my little +parlour, called out, "Come, Come in -," and was followed by Major +Price. He was just arrived from his little farm in +Herefordshire, and will stay here some days. It is particularly +fortunate just now, when another gentleman was really required to +assist in attendance upon the royal party. + +Mr. Seward, with a good-humoured note, sent me the magazine with +Baretti's strictures on Mrs. Thrale. Good heaven, how abusive! +It can hardly hurt her--it is so palpably meant to do it. I +could not have suspected him, with all his violence, of a +bitterness of invective so cruel, so ferocious! + +I well remember his saying to me, when first I saw him after the +discovery of "Evelina"...... I see what it is you can do, you +little witch--it is, that you can hang us all up for laughing- +stocks; but hear me this one thing--don't meddle with me. I see +what they are, your powers; but remember, when you provoke an +Italian you run a dagger into your own breast!" + +I half shuddered at the fearful caution from him, because the +dagger was a word of unfortunate recollection:(284) but, good +heaven! it could only be a half Shudder when the caution was +against an offence I could sooner die than commit, and which, I +may truly say, if personal attack was what he meant, never even +in sport entered my mind, and was ever, in earnest, a thing I +have held in the deepest abhorrence. + +I must do, however, the justice to his candour to add, that upon +a newer acquaintance with me, which immediately followed, he +never repeated his admonition; and when "Cecilia" came out, and +he hastened to me with every species of extravagant encomium, he +never hinted at any similar idea, and it seemed evident he +concluded me, by that time, incapable + +Page 177 + +meriting such a suspicion; though, to judge by his own conduct, a +proceeding of this sort may to him appear in a very different +light. He thinks, at least, a spirit of revenge may authorize +any attack, any insult. How unhappy and how strange! to join to +so much real good nature as this man possesses when pleased, a +disposition so savagely vindictive when offended. + + + SPECULATIONS UPON COLONEL FAIRLY'S RE-MARRYING. +Thursday, July 24--"Pray, Miss Burney," cried Colonel Gwynn, "do +you think Mr. Fairly will ever marry again?" + +"I think it very doubtful," I answered, "but I hope he will, for, +whether he is happy or not in marrying, I am sure he will be +wretched in singleness; the whole turn of his mind is so social +and domestic. He is by no means formed for going always abroad +for the relief of society; he requires it more at hand." + +"And what do you think of Miss Fuzilier?" + +"That he is wholly disengaged with her and with everybody." + +"Well, I think it will be, for I know they correspond ; and what +should he correspond with her for else?" + +"Because, I suppose, he has done it long before this could be +suggested as the motive. And, indeed, the very quickness of the +report makes me discredit it; 'tis so utterly impossible for a +man whose feelings are so delicate to have taken any steps +towards a second connexion at so early a period." + +"Why, I know he's very romantic,--but I should like to know your +opinion." + +"I have given it you," cried I, "very exactly." + + + COLONEL FAIRLY AGAIN PRESENTS HIMSELF. + +Not long after, when all the party was broke up from my little +parlour, though not yet set out for Gloucester, who should again +surprise me by entering but Mr. Fairly! I was quite rejoiced by +his sight. He was better, though not well. His face is almost +reduced to its natural size. He had a letter for her majesty +from Lord Aylesbury, and had determined to venture bringing it +himself. + +He said he would carry it in to the queen, and then return to my +parlour, if I would give him some breakfast. + +You may suppose I answered "No!" But, afterwards, fearing he +might + +Page 178 + +be detained and fatigued, he asked me to present it for him, and +only say he was waiting in my room for commands. I was forced to +say "Yes," though I had rather not. + +Her majesty was much surprised to hear he was again out so +unexpectedly, and asked if he thought of going to Gloucester? + +"No," I said, "I believed he was not equal to that." + +She bid me tell him she would see him before she went. + +I returned with this message, and would then have ordered him +fresh breakfast; but he declared if I was fidgety he should have +no comfort, and insisted on my sitting quietly down, while he +drew a chair by my side, and made his own cold tea, and drank it +weak and vapid, and eat up all the miserable scraps, without +suffering me to call for plate, knife, bread, butter, or anything +for replenishment. And when he had done, and I would have made +some apology, he affected me for him a good deal by gravely +saying, "Believe me, this is the pleasantest breakfast I have +made these six days." + +He then went on speaking of his late confinement, and its +comfortless circumstances, in very strong terms, dwelling on its +solitude and its uselessness, as if those only formed its +disagreeability, and the pain went for nothing. Social and kind +is his heart, and finely touched to the most exquisite sensations +of sympathy; and, as I told Colonel Gwynn, I must needs wish he +may yet find some second gentle partner fitted to alleviate his +sorrows, by giving to him an object whose happiness would become +his first study. + +He brought me back the few books I had procured him but I had no +fresh supply. He spoke again of the favourite "Letters," and +said he felt so sure I should be pleased with them, that he was +desirous I should look at them, adding There is no person into +whose hands I would not put them not even my daughter's." + +It was now impossible to avoid saying I should be glad to see +them: it would seem else to doubt either his taste or his +delicacy, while I have the highest opinion of both. In talking +them over he told me he believed them to be genuine; "But the +woman," he said, "throughout the whole correspondence, is too +much the superior. She leaves the man far behind. She is so +collected, so composed, so constantly mistress of herself, so +unbiased by her passions, so rational, and so dignified, that I +would even recommend her as an example to any young woman in +similar circumstances to follow." + +Page 179 +He was summoned to her majesty, in the dining-parlour. But when +they were all set out on the Gloucester expedition, he returned +to my little parlour, and stayed with me a considerable time. + +Grave he came back--grave quite to solemnity, and almost wholly +immersed in deep and sad reflections, He spoke little, and that +little with a voice so melancholy, yet so gentle, that it filled +me with commiseration. + +At length, after much silence and many pauses, which I never +attempted to interrupt or to dissipate, continuing my work as if +not heeding him, he led himself distantly, yet intelligibly--to +open upon the immediate state of his mind. + +I now found that the king's staying on at Cheltenham a fifth week +was scarcely supportable to him; that the 16th of next month was +the mournful anniversary of his loss, and that he had planned to +dedicate it in some peculiar manner to her memory, with his four +children. Nothing of this was positively said; for + +"He feels the chastity of silent woe." + +But all of it was indubitably comprised in the various short but +pointed sentences which fell from him. + + +THE COLONEL AND THE "ORIGINAL LOVE LETTERS." + +Friday, July 25.-Again, to a very late breakfast came Mr. Fairly, +which again he made for himself, when the rest were dispersed, of +all the odd remnants, eatable and drinkable. He was much better, +and less melancholy. He said he should be well enough to join +the royal party to-morrow, who were to dine and spend the whole +day at Lord Coventry's at Coombe. . . . + +In the afternoon, while Miss Planta and myself were Sitting over +our dessert, a gentle rap at the parlour-door preceded Mr. +Fairly. How we both started! He was muffled up in a great coat, +and said he came quite incog., as he was not well enough to dine +anywhere but in his private apartment, nor to attend the royals +to the walks, whither they go every evening. He had only +strolled out for a walk by himself. + +I could not persuade him to sit down; he said he must be gone +immediately, lest he should be seen, and the king, not aware of +his unfitness, should order his attendance. + +Miss Planta, presently, was obliged to go to the princesses, + +Page 180 + +and wait with them till the promenade took place. Quietly, then, +he drew a chair to the table, and I saw he had something to say; +but, after a little general talk he rose and was going : when, +hearing by the dogs the royal family were just in motion, he +pulled off his great coat and seated himself again. + +And then, he took from his pocket a small volume, which he said +he had taken this opportunity to bring me. You Will be sure it +was the "Original Letters.;" + +I took them, and thanked him: he charged me with a very grave air +to keep them safe, and I put them into my work-box--my dear +Fredy's work-box--which here is my universal repository of small +goods and chattels, and useful past all thanks. + +By the time they Were set off, however, we were entered into +conversation, and he said he would venture to stay tea; "though, +as I tell you," he added, "what I do not tell everybody, I must +confess I have upon me some certain symptoms that make me a +little suspect these Cheltenham waters are going to bring me to a +fit of the gout." + +And then he told me that that dreadful disorder had been +frequently and dangerously in his family, though he had himself +never had it but once, which was after a very bad fall from his +horse when hunting with the king. + +Miss Planta now joined us, looking not a little surprised to find +Mr. Fairly still here, and I ordered tea. After it was over, she +went to take her usual evening exercise; and then Mr. Fairly, +pointing to my work-box, said, "Shall I read a little to you?" + +Certainly, I said, if it would not too much fatigue him; and +then, with the greatest pleasure in renewing again a mode in +which I had taken so much delight, I got my work and gave him his +book. Unluckily, however, it was the second volume; the first, +having read, he had left in town. "It is quite, however," he +said, "immaterial whether You begin with the first volume or the +second; the story is nothing; the language and the sentiments are +all you can care for." + +I did not quite agree in this, but would not say so, lest he +should think of me as Colonel Gwynn does of him, "that I am very +romantic which, however, I am not, though I never like to +anticipate an end ere I know a beginning. + +Indeed, he had not praised them too highly, nor raised my +expectations beyond what could answer them, They are full + +Page 181 + +of beauties-moral, elegant, feeling, and rational. He seemed +most unusually gratified by seeing me so much pleased with them. +I am so glad," he cried, "You like them, for I thought you +would!" But we began so late that he could only, get through two +letters, when the time of my retiring arrived. I was sorry also +to have him out so late after his long confinement; but he +wrapped himself up in his great coat, and did not seem to think +he should suffer from it. + +Miss Planta came to my room upstairs, to Inquire how long Mr. +Fairly had stayed, and I was quite happy to appease her +astonishment that he should come without sending in to the king, +by assuring her he was only nursing for the next day, when he +meant to attend the Coombe party. + +I thought it so absolutely right to mention his visit to the +queen, lest, hearing of it from the princesses through Miss +Planta, she Should wonder yet more, that I put aside the +disagreeable feel of exciting that wonder myself, and told her he +had drank tea here, when I attended her at night. She seemed +much more surprised than pleased, till I added that he was +preparing and hardening himself for the Coombe expedition the +next day, and then she was quite satisfied.(285) + + + THE GOUT AND THE LOVE LETTERS, AGAIN. + +Saturday, July 26.-The royal party were to be Out the whole day, +and I had her majesty's permission to go to the play at night +with Miss Port and her friends, and to introduce MISS Planta to +them for the same purpose. The breakfast was at seven o'clock ; +we were all up at half after five. How sorry was I to see +Colonel Gwynn enter alone, and to hear that Mr. Fairly was again +ill + +Soon after the king came into the room and said, "So, no Mr. +Fairly again?" + +"No, sir; he's very bad this morning." + +"What's the matter? His face?" + +"No, sir; he has got the gout. These waters., he thinks, have +brought it on." + +"What, in his foot?" + +"Yes, sir; he is quite lame, his foot is swelled prodigiously." + +Page 182 + +"So he's quite knocked up! Can't he come out?" + +"No, sir; he's obliged to order a gouty shoe and stay at home and +nurse." + +The king declared the Cheltenham waters were admirable friends to +the constitution, by bringing disorders out of the habit. Mr. +Fairly, he said, had not been well some time, and a smart fit of +the gout might set him all to rights again. Alas, +thought I, a smart fit of the gout in a lonely lodging at a +water-drinking place! + +They all presently set off; and so fatigued was my poor little +frame, I was glad to go and lie down; but I never can sleep when +I try for it in the daytime; the moment I cease all employment, +my thoughts take such an ascendance over my morphetic faculty, +that the attempt always ends in a deep and most Wakeful +meditation. + +About twelve o'clock I was reading In my private loan book, when, +hearing the step of Miss Planta on the stairs, I put it back in +my work-box, and Was just taking thence some other employment, +when her voice struck my ear almost in a scream "Is it possible? +Mr. Fairly!" + +My own with difficulty refrained echoing it when I heard his +voice answer her, and in a few minutes they parted, and he rapped +at the door and entered my little parlour. He came in hobbling, +leaning on a stick, and with a large cloth shoe over one of his +feet, which was double the size of the other. + +We sat down together, and he soon inquired what I had done with +his little book. I had only, I answered, read two more letters. + +"Have you read two?" he cried, in a voice rather disappointed; +and I found he was actually come to devote the morning, which he +knew to be unappropriated on my part, to reading it on to me +himself. Then he took up the book and read on from the fifth +letter. But he read at first with evident uneasiness, throwing +down the book at every noise, and stopping to listen at every +sound. At last he asked me if anybody was likely to come? + +Not a soul, I said, that I knew or expected. + +He laughed a little at his question and apparent anxiety but with +an openness that singularly marks his character, he frankly +added, I must put the book away, pure as it is, if any one comes +or, without knowing a word of the contents, they will run away +with the title alone, exclaiming, 'Mr. Fairly + +Page 183 + +reading love letters to Miss Burney!' A fine story that would +make!" + +'Pon honour, thought I, I would not hear such a tale for the +world. However, he now pursued his reading more at his ease. + +I will not tell you what we said of them in talking them over. +Our praise I have chiefly given--our criticism must wait till you +have read them yourselves. They are well worth your seeking. I +am greatly mistaken if you do not read them with delight. + +in the course of the discussion he glided, I know not how, upon +the writings of another person, saying he never yet had talked +them over with me. + +"It is much kinder not," cried I hastily. . . . + +"Well, but," cried he laughing, "may I find a fault? Will you +hear a criticism, if nothing of another sort?" I was forced to +accede to this. + +He told me, then, there was one thing he wholly disallowed and +wished to dispute, which was, Cecilia's refusing to be married on +account of the anonymous prohibition to the ceremony. He could +not, he said, think such an implied distrust of Delvile, after +consenting to be his, was fair or generous. + +"To that," cried I, "I cannot judge what a man may think, but I +will own it is what most precisely and indubitably I could not +have resisted doing myself. An interruption so mysterious and so +shocking I could never have had the courage to pass over." + +This answer rather silenced him from politeness than convinced +him from reason, for I found he thought the woman who had given +her promise was already married, and ought to run every risk +rather than show the smallest want of confidence in the man of +her choice. + +Columb now soon came in to inquire what time I should dine, but a +ghost could not have made him stare more than Mr. Fairly, whose +confinement with the gout had been spread all over the house by +Colonel Gwynn. + +I ordered an early dinner on account of the play." + +"Will you invite me," cried Mr. Fairly, laughing, "to dine with +you?" + +"Oh yes!" I cried, "with the greatest pleasure." and he said he +would go to his home and dress, and return to my hour. + +Page 184 + + + A DINNER WITH COLONEL FAIRLY AND MISS PLANTA, +As he was at leisure, I had bespoke the queen's hairdresser, on +account of the play; but Miss Planta came to inform me that she +could not be of that party, as she had received a letter from +Lady Charlotte Finch, concerning Princess Mary, that she must +stay to deliver herself. + +I told her she would have a beau at dinner. "Well," she +exclaimed, "'tis the oddest thing in the world He should come so +when the king and queen are away! I am sure, if I was you, I +would not mention it." + +"Oh yes, I shall," cried I; "I receive no visitors in private; +and I am sure if I did, Mr. Fairly is the last who would +condescend to make one of them." Such was my proud, but true +speech, for him and for myself. + +At dinner we all three met; Mr. Fairly in much better spirits +than I have yet seen him at Cheltenham. He attacks Miss Planta +upon all her little prejudices, and rallies her into a defence of +them, in a manner so sportive 'tis impossible to hurt her, yet so +nearly sarcastic that she is frequently perplexed whether to take +it in good or ill part. But his intentions are so decidedly +averse to giving pain, that even when she is most alarmed at +finding the laugh raised against her, some suddenly good-humoured +or obliging turn sets all to rights, and secures any sting from +remaining, even where the bee has been most menacing to fix +itself. + +I believe Mr. Fairly to possess from nature high animal spirits, +though now curbed by misfortune - and a fine vein of satire, +though constantly kept in order by genuine benevolence. He is +still, in mixed company, gay, shrewd, and arch ; foremost in +badinage, and readiest for whatever may promote general +entertainment. But in chosen society his spirits do not rise +above cheerfulness; he delights in moral discourse, on grave and +instructive subjects, and though always ready to be led to the +politics or business of the day, in which he is constantly well +versed and informing I never observe him to lead but to themes of +religion, literature, or moral life. + +When dinner and a very sociable dessert were over, we proposed +going to the king's dining-parlour, while the servants removed +the things, etc., against tea. But the weather was so very fine +we were tempted by the open door to go out into the air. Miss +Planta said she would take a walk; Mr. Fairly could not, but all +without was so beautiful he would not go into the + +Page 185 + +parlour, and rather risked the fatigue of standing, as he leant +against the porch, to losing the lovely prospect of sweet air. + +And here, for near two hours, on the steps of Fauconberg Hall, we +remained; and they were two hours of such pure serenity, without +and within, as I think, except in Norbury park, with its loved +inhabitants and my Susan, I scarce ever remember to have spent. +Higher gaiety and greater happiness many and many periods of my +life have at different times afforded me; but a tranquillity more +perfect has only, I think, been lent to me in Norbury park, +where, added to all else that could soothe and attract, every +affection of my heart could be expanded and indulged. But what +have I to do with a comparison no longer cherished but by memory + +The time I have mentioned being past, Miss Planta returned from +her walk, and we adjourned to the little parlour, where I made +tea, and then I equipped myself for the play. + +The sweet Miss Port received me with her usual kind joy, and +introduced me to her friends, who are Mr. Delabere, the master of +the house, and chief magistrate of Cheltenham, and his family. + +We all proceeded to the play-house, which is a very pretty little +theatre. Mrs. Jordan played the "Country Girl," most admirably; +but the play is so disagreeable in Its whole plot and tendency, +that all the merit of her performance was insufficient to ward +off disgust.(286) My principal end, however, was wholly answered, +in spending the evening with my poor M-----. . . . + +Lady Harcourt is come to take the place of Lady Weymouth, whose +waiting is over; and Lord Harcourt will lodge in the town of +Cheltenham. We have no room here for double accommodations. + + + ROYAL CONCERN FOR THE COLONEL's GOUT. + +Sunday, July 27.-This morning in my first attendance I seized a +moment to tell her majesty of yesterday's dinner. + +Page 186 + +"So I hear!" she cried; and I was sorry any one had anticipated +my information, nor can I imagine who it might be. + +"But pray, ma'am," very gravely, how did it happen ? I understood +Mr. Fairly was confined by the gout." + +"He grew better, ma'am, and hoped by exercise to prevent a +serious fit." + +She said no more, but did not seem pleased. The fatigues of a +Court attendance are so little comprehended, that persons known +to be able to quit their room and their bed are Instantly +concluded to be qualified for all the duties of their office. + +We were again very early, as their majesties meant to go to the +cathedral at Gloucester, where the Bishop of Gloucester, Dr. +Halifax, was to Preach to them. But I -was particularly glad, +before our breakfast, was over, to see Mr. Fairly enter my little +parlour. He was Still In his gouty Shoe, and assisted by a +stick, but he had not suffered from his yesterday's exertion. + +Before the things were removed, a page opened the door, and all +the royal family--king, queen, and three princesses--came into +the room to see Mr. Fairly and Inquire how he did. I hardly know +with which of the five he is most in favour, or by which most +respected, and they all expressed their concern for this second +attack, in the kindest terms. + +The king, however, who has a flow of spirits at this time quite +unequalled, would fain have turned the whole into ridicule, and +have persuaded him he was only fanciful. + +"Fanciful, Sir?" he repeated, a little displeased; and the good +king perceiving it, graciously and good-humouredly drew back his +words, by saying "Why I should wonder indeed if you were to be +that!" + +When they all decamped I prepared for church. I had appointed to +go with Miss Port, and to meet her on the road. Mr. Fairly said, +if I would give him leave, he would stay and write letters in my +little parlour. I supplied him with materials, and emptied my +queen's writing-box for a desk, as we possess nothing here but a +low dining-table. So away went journals, letters, memorandums, +etc., into the red portfolio given me by my dear father. + +page 187 + +As soon as I presented him with this, not at all aware of the +goods and chattels removed for the occasion, he said it was so +very comfortable he should now write all his letters here, for at +his lodgings he had such a miserable low table he had been forced +to prop it up by brick-bats! + +Mr. Fairly sealed and made up his dispatches, and then said he +would stroll a little out to put his foot in motion. "And what," +he asked, "shall you do?" + +I had a great mind to say, Why, stroll with you; for that, I +think, was the meaning OF his question; but I feared it might +prevent my being dressed against the return Of the queen, and I +do not think she would have thought it an adequate excuse. + + + YOUNG REPUBLICANS CONVERTED. + + +Monday, July 28.--Miss Ogle acquainted me that this was the last +day of her remaining at Cheltenham, and I promised to drink tea +with her in the afternoon; and the queen honoured me with a +commission to bring Mrs. Ogle on the walks, as his majesty wished +again to see her. . . . + +I found Mrs. Ogle and her daughters all civility and good humour. + Poor Mrs. Ogle has lately (by what means I do not know) wholly +lost her eye-sight; but she is perfectly resigned to this +calamity, and from motives just such as suit a bishop's daughter. + When I told her who desired her to be on the walks, she was +extremely gratified. Spotty is a complete rebel, according to +the principles of her republican father, and protested it would +only be a folly and fuss to go, for their notice. The younger +sisters are bred rebels too; but the thought of guiding their +mother, when such royal distinction was intended her, flattered +and fluctuated them. There was another lady with them, who told +me that Dr. Warton, of Winchester, had desired her to make +acquaintance with me; but I have forgotten her name, and have no +time to refresh my memory with it. + +To the walks we went, the good and pious Mrs. Ogle between her +two young daughters, and Spotty and I together. Spotty begged me +to go to the ball with her, but I had neither licence nor +inclination. + +The queen immediately espied Mrs. Ogle, by seeing me, as I heard +her say to the king; and they approached the spot where we stood, +in the most gracious manner. The king spoke with such kindness +to Mrs. Ogle, and with such great regard + +Page 188 + +of her late father, that the good lady was most deeply affected +with pleasure. I believe they stayed half an hour with her, +talking over old scenes and circumstances. Spotty kept pulling +me all the time, to decamp; but I kept "invincible,"--not quite +like Mr. Pitt, yet "invincible." At last the king spoke +to her: this confused her so much, between the pleasure of the +notice, and the shame of feeling that pleasure, that she knew not +what she either did or said, answered everything wrong, and got +out of the line, and stood with her back to the queen, and turned +about she knew not why, and behaved like one who had lost her +wits. + +When they left us, Mrs. Ogle expressed her grateful sense of the +honour done her, almost with tears ; the two young ones said, +they had never conceived the king and queen could be such sweet +people and poor Spotty was so affected and so constrained in +denying them praise, and persisting that she thought it "all a +bore," that I saw the republican heart was gone, though the +tongue held its ground. + +A second time, after a few more turns, the same gracious party +approached, with fresh recollections and fresh questions +concerning interesting family matters. This was more than could +be withstood; Mrs. Ogle was almost overpowered by their +condescension; the young ones protested they should never bear to +hear anything but praise of them all their lives to come and poor +Spotty was quite dumb! She could not, for shame, join the chorus +of praise, and to resist it she had no longer any power. + +We did not, however, stop here; for still a third time they +advanced, and another conference ensued, in which Mrs. Ogle's +sons were inquired for, and their way of life, and designs and +characters. This ended and completed the whole; Mrs. Ogle no +longer restrained the tears of pleasure from flowing; her little +daughters declared, aloud, the king and queen were the two most +sweet persons in the whole world, and they would say so as long +as they lived; and poor Spotty, colouring and conscious, said-- +"But I hope I did not behave so bad this time as the first?" Nay, +so wholly was she conquered, that, losing her stubbornness more +and more by reflection, she would not let me take leave till she +obliged me to promise I would either call the next morning, +before their departure, or write her a little note, to say if +they found out or mentioned her ungraciousness. + +I was too well pleased in the convert to refuse her this satis- + +page 189 + +action; and so full was her mind of her new loyalty, that when +she found me steady in declining to go with her to the ball, she +gave it up herself, and said she would go home with her mother +and sisters, to talk matters over. + + + + THE PRINCES' ANIMAL SPIRITS. + +July 31.---Miss Planta said the Duke of York was expected the +next day. This led to much discourse on the princes, in which +Mr. Fairly, with his usual but Most uncommon openness, protested +there was something in the violence of their animal spirits that +Would make him accept no post and no pay to live with them. +Their very voices, he said, had a loudness and force that wore +him. + +Immediately after he made a little attack--a gentle one, Indeed-- +upon me, for the contrary extreme, of hardly speaking, among +strangers at least, so as to be heard. "And why," cried he, "do +you speak so low? I used formerly not to catch above a word in a +sentence from you." In talking about the princes, he asked me +how I managed with them. + +Not at all, I said, for since I had resided under the royal roof +they were rarely there, and I had merely seen them two or three +times. + +He congratulated me that I had not been in the family in earlier +days, when they all lived together; and Miss Planta enumerated +various of their riots, and the distresses and difficulties they +caused in the household. + +I was very glad, I said, to be out of the way, though I did not +doubt but I might have kept clear of them had I been even then a +resident. + +"O no, no," cried Mr. Fairly; "they would have come to you, I +promise you; and what could you have done--what would have become +of you?--with Prince William in particular? Do you not think, +Miss Planta, the Prince of Wales and Prince William would have +been quite enough for Miss Burney? Why she would have been quite +subdued." + +I assured him I had not a fear but I might always have avoided +them. + +"Impossible! They would have come to your tea-room." + +"I would have given up tea." + +"Then they would have followed you--called for you--sent for +you--the Prince of Wales would have called about him, 'Here ! +where's Miss Burney?"' + +Page 190 + +"O, no, no, no!" cried I; "I would have kept wholly out of the +way, and then they would never have thought about me." +"O, ho!" cried he, laughing, "never think of seeing Miss Burney + Prince William, too! what say you to that, Miss Planta? + +She agreed there was no probability of such escape. I was only +the more glad to have arrived in later times. + +Here a page came to call Mr. Fairly to backgammon with his +majesty. + + + THE DUKE OF YORK: ROYAL VISIT TO THE THEATRE. +Friday, Aug. 1.-This was a very busy day; the Duke of York was +expected, and his fond father had caused a portable wooden house +to be moved from the further end of Cheltenham town up to join to +Fauconber, Hall. The task had employed twenty or thirty men +almost ever since our arrival, and so laborious, slow, difficult, +and all but impracticable had it proved, that it was barely +accomplished before it was wanted. There was no room, however, +in the king's actual dwelling, and he could not endure not to +accommodate his son immediately next himself. + +His joy upon his arrival was such joy as I have only seen here +when he arrived first from Germany; I do not mean it was equally +violent, or, alas! equally unmixed, but yet it was next and +nearest to that which had been most perfect. + +Mr. Bunbury attended his royal highness. We had all dispersed +from breakfast, but the king came in, and desired me to make him +some. Mr. Fairly had brought him to my little parlour, and, +having called Columb, and assisted in arranging a new breakfast, +he left us, glad, I suppose, of a morning to himself, for his +majesty was wholly engrossed by the duke. + +We talked over his usual theme--plays and players--and he +languished to go to the theatre and see Mrs. Jordan. Nor did he +languish in vain: his royal master, the duke, imbibed his wishes, +and conveyed them to the king; and no sooner were they known than +an order was hastily sent to the play-house, to prepare a royal +box. The queen was so gracious as to order Miss Planta and +myself to have the same entertainment. + +The delight of the people that their king and queen should visit +this country theatre was the most disinterested I ever witnessed; +for though they had not even a glance of their royal +countenances, they shouted, huzzaed, and clapped, for + +Page 191 + +many minutes. The managers had prepared the front boxes for +their reception, and therefore the galleries were over them. +They made a very full and respectable appearance in this village +theatre. The king, queen, Duke of York, and three princesses, +were all accommodated with front seats ; Lord Harcourt stood +behind the king, Lady Harcourt and Mr. Fairly behind the queen; +Lord and Lady Courtown and Lady Pembroke behind the princesses; +and at the back, Colonel Gwynn and Mr. Bunbury; Mr. Boulby and +Lady Mary were also in the back group. + +I was somewhat taken up in observing a lady who sat opposite to +me, Miss W---. My Susanna will remember that extraordinary young +lady at Bath, whose conduct and conversation I have either +written or repeated to her.(287) + +I could not see her again without being much struck by another +recollection, of more recent and vexatious date. Mrs. Thrale, in +one of the letters she has published, and which was written just +after I had communicated to her my singular rencontre with this +lady, says to Dr. Johnson, "Burney has picked up an infidel, and +recommended to her to read 'Rasselas.' + +This has a strange sound, but when its circumstances are known, +its strangeness ceases; it meant Miss W--- and I greatly fear, +from the date and the book, she cannot but know the "infidel" and +herself are one. I was truly Concerned in reading it, and I now +felt almost ashamed as well as concerned in facing her, though +her infidelity at that time, was of her own public avowal. Mr. +Bunbury is particularly intimate with her, and admires her beyond +all women. + + + AN UN-COURTLY VISITOR. + +Miss Planta and myself, by the queen's direction, went in a +chaise to see Tewkesbury. We were carried to several very +beautiful points of view, all terminating with the noble hills of +Malvern; and we visited the cathedral. . . . The pews seem the +most unsafe, strange, and irregular that were ever constructed; +they are mounted up, story after story, without any order, now +large, now small, now projecting out wide, now almost indented in +back, nearly to the very roof of the building. They look as if, +ready-made, they had been thrown up, and stuck wherever they +could, entirely by chance. + +We returned home just in time to be hastily dressed before + +Page 192 + +the royals came back. I was a little, however, distressed on +being told, as I descended to dinner, that Mr. Richard +Burney(288) was in my parlour. The strict discipline observed +here, in receiving no visits, made this a very awkward +circumstance, for I as much feared hurting him by such a hint, as +concurring in an impropriety by detaining him. Miss Planta +suffers not a soul to approach her to this house ; and Lady +Harcourt has herself told me she thinks it would be wrong to +receive even her sisters, Miss Vernons, so much all-together is +now the house and household! + +My difficulty was still increased, when, upon entering the +parlour, I found him in boots, a riding dress, and hair wholly +without curl or dressing. Innocently, and very naturally, he had +called upon me in his travelling garb, never suspecting that in +visiting me he was at all in danger of seeing or being seen by +any one else. Had that indeed been the case, I should have been +very glad to see him; but I knew, now, his appearance must prove +every way to his disadvantage, and I felt an added anxiety to +acquaint him with my situation. + +Miss Planta looked all amazement; but he was himself all ease and +sprightly unconsciousness. + +We were obliged to sit down to dinner; he had dined. I was quite +in a panic the whole time, lest any of the royals should come in +before I could speak - but, after he had partaken of our dessert, +as much en badinage as I could, I asked him if he felt stout +enough to meet the king? and then explained to him, as concisely +as I had power, that I had here no room whatsoever at my own +disposal, in such a manner as to enable my having the happiness +to receive any of my private friends even Miss Port, though known +to all the royal family,, I could never venture to invite, except +when they were abroad: such being, at present, the universal +practice and forbearance of all the attendants in this tour. + +He heard me with much surprise, and much laughter at his own +elegant equipment for such encounters as those to which he now +found himself liable; but he immediately proposed decamping, and +I could not object, Yet, to soften this disagreeable explanation, +I kept him a few minutes longer, settling concerning our further +meeting at the concerts- at Worcester, and, in this little +interval, we were startled by a rap at my door. He laughed, and +started back; and I, alarmed, + +Page 193 + +also retreated. Miss Planta opened the door, and called out +"'Tis Mr. Fairly." + +I saw him in amaze at sight of a gentleman; and he was himself +immediately retiring, concluding, I suppose, that nothing less +than business very urgent could have induced me to break through +rules so rigidly observed by himself and all +others. I would not, however, let him go . but as I continued +talking with Richard about the music meeting and my cousins, he +walked up to the window with Miss Planta. I now kept Richard as +long as I well could, to help off his own embarrassment at this +interruption; at length he went. + + + + MR. FAIRLY READS "AKENSIDE" TO MISS BURNEY. +Hearing now the barking of the dogs, I knew the royals must be +going forth to their promenade; but I found Mr. Fairly either did +not hear or did not heed them. While I expected him every moment +to recollect himself, and hasten to the walks, he quietly said, +"They are all gone but me. I shall venture, to-night, to +shirk;--though the king will soon miss me. But what will follow? +He will say--'Fairly is tired! How shabby!' Well! let him say +so; I am tired!" Miss Planta went off, soon after, to her walk. +He then said, "Have you done with my little book?" + +"O yes!" I cried, "and this morning I have sent home the map of +Gloucester you were so good as to send us. Though, I believe, I +have kept both so long, You will not again be in any haste to +lend me either a map of the land, or a poem of the sea." I then +gave him back "The Shipwreck." + +"Shall I tell you," cried I, "a design I have been forming upon +you?" + +"A design upon me?" + +"Yes; and I may as well own it, for I shall be quite as near +success as if I disguise it." I then went to my little drawer +and took out Akenside." + +"Here," I cried, "I intended to have had this fall in your way, +by pure accident, on the evening you were called to the conjurer, +and I have planned the same ingenious project every evening +since, but it has never taken, and so now I produce it fairly!" + +"That," cried he, taking it, with a very pleased smile, "is the +only way in all things!" + +Page 194 + +He then began reading "The Pleasures of the Imagination," and I +took some work, for which I was much in haste, and my imagination +was amply gratified. He only looked out for favourite passages, +as he has the poem almost by heart, and he read them with a +feeling and energy that showed his whole soul penetrated with +their force and merit. + +After the first hour, however, he grew uneasy'; he asked me when +I expected the king and queen from their walk, and whether they +were likely to come into my room? + +"All," I said, "was uncertain." + +"Can nobody," he cried, "let you know when they are coming?" + +"Nobody," I answered, "would know till they were actually +arrived." + +"But," cried he, "can you not bid somebody watch?" + +'Twas rather an awkward commission, but I felt it would be an +awkwardness still less pleasant to me to decline it, and +therefore I called Columb, and desired he would let me know when +the queen returned. + +He was then easier, and laughed a little, while he explained +himself, "Should they come in and find me reading here before I +could put away my book, they would say we were two blue +stockings!" + +At tea Miss Planta again joined us, and instantly behind him went +the book. He was very right; for nobody would +have thought it more odd--or more blue. + +During this repast they returned home, but all went straight +upstairs, the duke wholly occupying the king - and Mr. Bunbury +went to the play. When Miss Planta, therefore, took her evening +stroll, "Akenside" again came forth, and with more security. + +"There is one ode here," he cried, "that I wish to read to you, +and now I think I can." + +I told him I did not in general like Akenside's odes, at least +what I had chanced to read, for I thought they were too inflated, +and filled with "liberty cant." + +"But this, however," cried he, "I must read to you, it is so +pretty, though it is upon love!" + +'Tis addressed to Olympia: I dare say my dearest Fredy recollects +it.(289) It is, indeed, most feelingly written; but we + +Page 195 + +had only got through the first stanza when the door Suddenly +opened, and enter Mr. Bunbury. + +After all the precautions taken, to have him thus appear at the +very worst moment! Vexed as I was, I could really have laughed; +but Mr. Fairly was ill disposed to take it so merrily. He +started, threw the book forcibly behind him, and instantly took +up his hat, as if decamping. I really believe he was afraid Mr. +Bunbury would caricature us "The sentimental readers!" or what +would he have called us? Luckily this confusion passed unnoticed. +Mr. Bunbury had run away from the play to see after the horses, +etc., for his duke, and was fearful of coming too late. + +plays and players now took up all the discourse, with Miss W--, +till the duke was ready to go. They then left me together, Mr. +Fairly smiling drolly enough in departing, and looking at +"Akenside" with a very arch shrug, as who should say "What a +scrape you had nearly drawn me into, Mr. Akenside!" + + + THE DOCTOR's EMBARRASSMENT. + +Sunday, Aug. 3.-This morning I was so violently oppressed by a +cold, which turns out to be the influenza, it was with the utmost +difficulty I could dress myself. I did indeed now want some +assistant most wofully. + +The princess royal has already been some days disturbed with this +influenza. When the queen perceived it in me she told his +majesty, who came into the room just as she was going to +breakfast. Without making any answer, he himself went +immediately to call Mr. Clerk, the apothecary, who was then with +the princess royal. + +"Now, Mr. Clerk," cried he, "here's another patient for you." + +Mr. Clerk, a modest, sensible man, concluded, by the king himself +having called him, that it was the queen he had + +Page 196 + +now to attend, and he stood bowing profoundly before her but soon +observing she did not notice him, he turned in some confusion to +the Princess Augusta, who was now in the group. + +"No, no! it's not me, Mr. Clerk, thank God!" cried the gay +Princess Augusta. + +Still more confused, the poor man advanced to Princess Elizabeth. + +"No, no; it's not her!" cried the king. + +I had held back, having scarce power to open my eyes, from a +vehement head-ache, and not, indeed, wishing to go through my +examination till there were fewer witnesses. But his majesty now +drew me out. + +"Here, Mr. Clerk," he cried, "this is your new patient!" + +He then came bowing up to me, the king standing close by, and the +rest pretty near. + + +"You--you are not well, ma'am?" he cried in the greatest +embarrassment, + +"No, sir, not quite," I answered in ditto. + +"O, Mr. Clerk will cure you!" cried the king. + +"Are-are you feverish, ma'am?" + +"Yes, sir, a little." + +"I--I will send you a saline draught, ma'am." + +"If you please." + +And then he bowed and decamped. + +Did you ever hear a more perfectly satisfactory examination? The +poor modest man was overpowered by such royal listeners and +spectators, and I could not possibly relieve him, for I was +little better myself. + +I went down to breakfast, but was so exceedingly oppressed I +could not hold up my head, and as soon as I could escape I went +to my own room, and laid down till my noon attendance, which I +performed with so much difficulty I was obliged to return to the +same indulgence the moment I was at liberty. + + + FROM GRAVE TO GAY. + +Down at last I went, slow and wrapped up. I found Mr. Fairly +alone in the parlour, reading letters with such intentness that +he did not raise his head, and with an air of the deepest +dejection. I remained wholly unnoticed a considerable time; but +at last he looked up, and with some surprise, but a voice OF + +Page 197 + +of extreme sadness, he said, "Is that Miss Burney? I thought it +had been Miss Planta." + +I begged him to read on, and not mind me; and I called for tea. +When we had done tea, "See, ma'am," he cried, "I have brought You +'Carr,' and here is a sermon upon the text I mean, when I preach, +to choose 'Keep innocency, and take heed to the thing that is +right; for that will bring a man peace at the last.'" + +Sincerely I commended his choice ; and we had a most solemn +discussion of happiness, not such as coincides with gaiety here, +but hope of salvation hereafter. His mind has so religious a +propensity, that it seems to me, whenever he leaves it to its +natural bent, to incline immediately and instinctively to +subjects of that holy nature. + +Humility, he said, in conclusion, humility was all in all for +tranquillity of mind; with that, little was expected and much was +borne, and the smallest good was a call for gratitude and +content. How could this man be a soldier? Might one not think he +was bred in the cloisters? + +"Well," cried he, again taking up the volume of "Carr," "I will +just sit and read this sermon, and then quietly go home." + +He did so, feelingly, forcibly, solemnly; it is an excellent +sermon; yet so read--he so sad, and myself so ill--it was almost +too much for me, and I had some difficulty to behave with proper +propriety. To him subjects of this sort, ill or well, bring +nothing, I believe, but strength as well as comfort. The voice +of dejection with which he began changed to one of firmness ere +he had read three pages. + +Something he saw of unusual sinking, notwithstanding what +I hid; and, with a very kind concern, when he had finished the +sermon, he said, "Is there anything upon your spirits?" + +"No," I assured him, "but I was not well; and mind and body +seemed to go together sometimes, when they did not." + +"But they do go together," cried he, "and will." + +However, he took no further- notice: he is like me, for myself, +in that--that whatever he thinks only bodily is little worth +attention; and I did not care to risk explaining to his strong +and virtuous mind the many fears and mixed sensations of mine, +when brought to a close disquisition of awaiting eternity. + +I never, but with Mrs. Delany and Dr. Johnson, have entered so +fully and so frequently upon this awful subject as + +Page 198 +with Mr. Fairly. My dear and most revered Mrs. Delany dwelt upon +it continually, with joy, and pure, yet humble hope. My +ever-honoured Dr. Johnson recurred to it perpetually, with a +veneration compounded of diffidence and terror, and an incessant, +yet unavailing plan, of amending all errors, and rising into +perfection. Mr. Fairly leans upon it as the staff of his +strength--the trust, the hope, the rest of his soul--too big for +satisfaction in aught this world has given, or can reserve for +him. ' + +He did not, however, "go quietly home," when he had finished the +sermon; on the contrary, he revived in his spirits, and animated +in his discourse, and stayed on. + +In speaking of the king he suddenly recollected some very fine +lines of Churchill, made on his accession to the throne. I wish +I could transcribe them, they are so applicable to that good +king, from that moment of promise to the present of performance. +But I know not in what part of Churchill's works they may be +found. + +Finding me unacquainted with his poems he then repeated several +passages, all admirably chosen ; but among them his memory called +forth some that were written upon Lord H--, which were of the +bitterest severity I ever heard:--whether deserved or not, Heaven +knows; but Mr. Fairly said he would repeat them, for the merit of +the composition. There was no examining his opinion of their +veracity, and he made no comments; but this: Lord H-- was the +famous man so often in the House of Commons accused of expending, +or retaining, unaccounted millions + +Having run through all he could immediately recollect, he said, +with a very droll smile, "Come, now I'll finish our ode," and +went to my drawer for "Akenside." + +His fears of surprise, however, again came upon him so strongly +while reading it, that he flung away the book in the utmost +commotion at every sound, lest any one was entering, always +saying in excuse, "We must not be called two blue stockings;" +and, "They are so glad to laugh; the world is so always on the +watch for ridicule." . . . + +I know not by what means, but after this we talked over Mr. +Hastings's trial. I find he is very much acquainted with Mr. +Windham, and I surprised him not a little, I saw, by what I told +him of part Of My conferences with that gentleman. + +This matter having led us from our serious subjects, he took + +Page 199) + +up "Akenside" once more, and read to me the first book +throughout, What a very, very charming poem is the "Pleasures of +the Imagination!" He stayed to the last moment, and left me all +the better for the time he thus rescued from feverish lassitude +and suffering. + + + A VISIT TO WORCESTER. + +Tuesday, Aug. 5-The journey to Worcester was very pleasant, and +the country through which we passed extremely luxuriant and +pretty. We did not go in by the Barborne road ; but all the +road, and all avenues leading to it, were lined with people, and +when we arrived at the city we could see nothing but faces ; they +lined the windows from top to bottom, and the pavement from end +to end. + +We drove all through the city to come to the palace of Bishop +Hurd, at which we were to reside. Upon stopping there, the king +had an huzza that seemed to vibrate through the whole town ; the +princess royal's carriage had a second, and the equerries a +third; the mob then, as ours drew on in succession, seemed to +deliberate whether or not we also should have a cheer: but one of +them soon decided the matter by calling out, "These are the maids +of honour!" and immediately they gave us an huzza that made us +quite ashamed, considering its vicinity. + +Mr. Fairly and Colonel Goldsworthy having performed the royal +attendance, waited to hand us out of the carriage ; and then the +former said he believed he should not be wanted, and would go and +make a visit in the town. I should have much liked walking off +also, and going to my cousins at Barborne Lodge; but I was no +free agent, and obliged to wait for commands. + +The house is old and large; part of it looks to the Severn but +the celebrated "Fair Sabrina" was so thick and muddy, that at +this time her vicinity added but little to the beauty of the +situation. + +My bed-room is pleasant, with a view of the distant country and +the Severn beneath it; but it is through that of the princess +royal; which is an inconvenience her royal highness submits to +with a grace that would make me ashamed to call it one to myself. +The parlour for our eating is large and dark, and old-fashioned. +I made tea in it to-night for Lord Courtown and the two colonels, +and Miss Planta, and was so much the + +Page 200 + +better for my journey, that I felt the influenza nearly +conquered. + +Wednesday, Aug. 6.-I had the pleasure to arrange going to the +music meeting with my own family. Notes were immediately +interchanged from and to Barborne Lodge, and the queen was very +well pleased that I should have this opportunity of joining my +friends. Mr. and Mrs. Hawkins and Betsy called for me at the +bishop's. + +I was heartily glad to see Betsy and Mrs. Hawkins I introduced +Miss Planta to them, who was of our party. We sat in what are +called the steward's places, immediately under their majesties. +The performance was very long, and tolerably tedious, consisting +of Handel's gravest pieces and fullest choruses, and concluding +with a sermon concerning the institution of the charity, preached +by Dr. Langhorne. I was, however, so glad to be with my cousins, +that the morning was very comfortable and pleasant to me. +Richard and James joined us occasionally.; the rest of the family +are at Shrewsbury. + +It was over very late, and we then went about the church, to see +King John's tomb, etc, They were very earnest with me to go to +Barborne but it was impossible. I promised, however, to +accompany them to the concert at night, and be of their party to +all the morning meetings at the cathedral. ' + +My parlour at the bishop's afforded me a good deal of +entertainment, from observing the prodigious concourse of people +from all the tops of houses, and looking over the walls to watch +his majesty's entrance into the court-yard. Poor Lord Courtown, +on account of his star, was continually taken for the king, and +received so many huzzas and shouts, that he hardly dared show +himself except when in attendance. + + + THE QUEEN AND MR. FAIRLY. + +Saturday, Aug. 9.-Her majesty this morning a little surprised me +by gravely asking me what were Mr. Fairly's designs with regard +to his going away ? I could not tell her I did not know what I +was really acquainted with; yet I feared it might seem odd to her +that I should be better informed than herself, and it was truly +unpleasant to me to relate anything he had told me without his +leave. Her question, therefore, gave me a painful sensation; but +it was spoken with an air so strongly denoting a belief that I +had power to answer it, that I felt no choice in making a plain +reply. Simply, then, "I understand, + +Page 201 + +ma'am," I said, "that he means to go to-morrow morning +early." + +"Will he stay on to-night, then, at Worcester?" + +"N-o, ma'am, I believe not." + +"I thought he meant to leave us to-day? He said so." + +"He intended it, ma'am,--he would else not have said it." + +"I know I understood so, though he has not spoke to me of his +designs this great while." + +I saw an air bordering upon displeasure as this was said and how +sorry I felt!--and how ashamed of being concluded the person +better informed! Yet, as he had really related to me his plan, +and I knew it to be what he had thought most respectful to +herself, I concluded it best, thus catechised, to speak it all, +and therefore, after some hesitation uninterrupted by her, I +said, "I believe, ma'am, Mr. Fairly had intended fully to begin +his journey to-day, but, as Your majesty is to go to the play +to-night, he thinks it his duty to defer setting out till +to-morrow, that he may have the honour to attend your majesty as +usual." + +This, which was the exact truth, evidently pleased her. + +Here the inquiry dropped; but I was very uneasy to relate it to +Mr. Fairly, that the sacrifice I knew he meant to make of another +day might not lose all its grace by wanting to be properly +revealed. + + + MR. FAIRLY MORALIZES. + +Our journey back to Cheltenham was much more quiet than it had +been to Worcester, for the royal party too], another route to see +Malvern hills, and we went straight forward. + +Miss Planta having now caught the influenza, suffered very much +all the way, and I persuaded her immediately to lie down when we +got to Fauconberg Hall. She could not come down to dinner, which +I had alone. The Princess Elizabeth came to me after it, with +her majesty's permission that I might go to the play with my +usual party ; but I declined it, that I might make some tea for +poor Miss Planta, as she had no maid, nor any creature to help +her. The princess told me they were all going first upon the +walks, to promener till the play time. + +I sat down to make my solitary tea, and had just sent up a basin +to Miss Planta, when, to my equal surprise and pleasure, Mr. +Fairly entered the room. "I come now," he said, "to take my +leave." + +They were all, he added, gone to the walks, whither he must + +Page 202 + +in a few minutes follow them, and thence attend to the play, and +the next morning, by five o'clock, be ready for his post-chaise. +Seeing me, however, already making tea, with his Usual and +invariable sociability he said he would venture to stay and +partake, though he was only come, he gravely repeated, to take +his leave. + +"And I must not say," cried I, "that I am sorry you are going, +because I know so well you wish to be gone that it makes me wish +it for you myself." + +"No," answered he, "you must not be sorry; when our friends are +going to any joy. We must think of them, and be glad to part +with them." + +Readily entering the same tone, with similar plainness of truth I +answered, No, I will not be sorry you go, though miss you at +Cheltenham I certainly must." + +"Yes," was his unreserved assent, "you will miss me here, because +I have spent my evenings with you; but You Will not long remain +at Cheltenham." + +Oim`e!" thought I, you little think how much Worse will be the +quitting it. He owned that the bustle and fatigue of this life +was too much both for his health and his spirits. + +I told him I Wished it might be a gratification to him, in his +toils, to hear how the queen always spoke of him; With what +evident and constant complacency and distinction. "And you may +credit her sincerity," I added, "Since it is to so little a +person as me she does this, and when no one else is present." + +He was not insensible to this, though he passed it over without +much answer. He showed me a letter from his second son, very +affectionate and natural. I congratulated him, most sincerely, +on his approaching happiness in collecting them all together. +"Yes he answered, "my group will increase, like a snow-ball, as I +roll along, and they will soon all four be as happy as four +little things know how to be." + +This drew him on into some reflections upon affection and upon +happiness. "There is no happiness," he said, "without +participation; no participation without affection. There is, +indeed, in affection a charm that leaves all things behind it, +and renders even every calamity that does not interfere with it +inconsequential and there is no difficulty, no toil, no labour, +no exertion, that will not be endured where there is a view of +reaping it." + +He ruminated some time, and then told me of a sermon he had heard +preached some months ago, sensibly demonstrating + +Page 203 + +the total vanity and insufficiency, even for this world, of all +our best affections, and proving their fallibility from our most +infirm humanity. + +My concurrence did not here continue: I cannot hold this doctrine +to be right, and I am most sure it is not desirable. our best +affections, I must and do believe, were given us for the best +purposes, for every stimulation to good, and every solace in +evil. + +But this was not a time for argument. I said nothing, while he, +melancholy and moralizing, continued in this style as long as he +could venture to stay. He then rose and took his hat, saying, " +Well, so much for the day; what may come to-morrow I know not; +but, be it what it may, I stand prepared." + +I hoped, I told him, that his little snowball would be all he +could wish it, and I was heartily glad he would so soon collect +it. + +"We will say," cried he, "nothing of any regrets," and bowed, and +was hastening off. + +The "we," however, had an openness and simplicity that drew from +me an equally open and simple reply. "No," I cried, "but I will +say-for that you will have pleasure in hearing that you have +lightened my time here in a manner that no one else could have +done, of this party." + +To be sure this was rather a circumscribed compliment, those he +left considered - but it was strict and exact truth, and +therefore like his own dealing. He said not a word of answer, +but bowed, and went away, leaving me firmly impressed with a +belief that I shall find in him a true, an honourable, and even +an affectionate friend, for life. + + + MAJOR PRICE IS TIRED OF RETIREMENT. + +Sunday, Aug. 10.-Major Price was of the breakfast party this +morning, to my great contentment. I heartily wish he was again +in the king's household, he is so truly attached to his majesty, +and he so earnestly himself wishes for a restoration, not to the +equerryship, which is too laborious an office, but to any +attendance upon the king's person of less fatigue. + +He opened to me very much upon his situation and wishes. he has +settled himself in a small farm near the house of his eldest +brother, but I could see too plainly he has not found there the +contentment that satisfies him. He sighs for society ; he owns +books are insufficient for everything, and his evenings + +Page 204 +begin already to grow wearisome. He does not wish it to be +talked of publicly, but he is solicitous to return to the king, +in any place attached to his person, of but mild duty. Not only +the king, he said, he loved, but all his society, and the way of +life in general; and he had no tie whatsoever to Herefordshire +that would make him hesitate a moment in quitting it, if another +place could be made adequate to his fortune. His income was +quite too small for any absence from his home of more than a few +weeks, in its present plight; and therefore it could alone be by +some post under government that he must flatter himself with ever +returning to the scenes he had left. + +How rarely does a plan of retirement answer the expectations upon +which it is raised! He fears having this suspected, and +therefore keeps the matter to himself; but I believe he so much +opened it to me, in the hope I might have an opportunity to make +it known where it might be efficacious; for he told me, at the +same time, he apprehended his majesty had a notion his fondness +for Herefordshire, not his inability to continue equerry, had +occasioned his resignation. + +I shall certainly make it my business to hint this to the queen. +So faithful and attached a servant ought not to be thrown aside, +and, after nine years' service, left unrewarded, and seem +considered as if superannuated. + + + MR. FAIRLY'S LITTLE NOTE. + +When I came from her majesty, just before she went down to +dinner, I was met by a servant who delivered me a letter, which +he told me was just come by express. I took it in some alarm, +fearing that ill news alone could bring it by such haste, but, +before I could open it, he said, "'Tis from Mr. Fairly, ma'am." + +I hastened to read, and will now copy it:- + +"Northleach, Aug. 10, 1788. +"Her majesty may possibly not have heard that Mr. Edmund Waller +died on Thursday night. He was master of St. Catherine's, which +is in her majesty's gift. It may be useful to her to have this +early intelligence of this circumstance, and you will have the +goodness to mention it to her. Mr. W. was at a +house upon his own estate within a mile and a half of this place, +Very truly and sincerely yours, +"S. Fairly." +"Miss Burney, Fauconberg Hall." + +Page 205 + +How to communicate this news, however, was a real distress to me. +I know her majesty is rather scrupulous that all messages +immediately to herself should be conveyed by the highest +channels, and I feared she would think this ought to have been +sent through her lady then in waiting, Lady Harcourt. Mr. +Fairly, too, however superior to such small matters for himself, +is most punctiliously attentive to them for her. I could +attribute this only to haste. But my difficulty was not alone to +have received the intelligence-the conclusion of the note I was +sure would surprise her. The rest, as a message to herself, +being without any beginning, would not strike her; but the words +"very truly and sincerely yours," come out with such an abrupt +plainness, and to her, who knows not with what intimacy of +intercourse we have lived together so much during this last +month, I felt quite ashamed to show them. + +While wavering how to manage, a fortunate circumstance seemed to +come to my relief; the Princess Elizabeth ran up hastily to her +room, which is just opposite to mine, before she followed the +queen down to dinner; I flew after her, and told her I had just +heard of the death of Mr. Waller, the Master of St. Catherine's, +and I begged her to communicate it to her majesty. + +She undertook it, with her usual readiness to oblige, and I was +quite delighted to have been so speedy without producing my note, +which I determined now not even to mention unless called upon, +and even then not to produce; for now, as I should not have the +first telling, it might easily be evaded by not having it in my +pocket. + +The moment, however, that the dinner was over, Princess Elizabeth +came to summon me to the queen. This was very unexpected, as I +thought I should not see her till night; but I locked up my note +and followed. + +She was only with the princesses. I found the place was of +importance, by the interest she took about it. She asked me +several questions relative to Mr. Waller. I answered her all I +could collect from my note, for further never did I hear; but the +moment I was obliged to stop she said, "Pray have you known him +long?" + +"I never knew him at all, ma'am." + +"No? Why, then, how came you to receive the news about his +death?" + +Was not this agreeable? I was forced to say, "I heard of it only +from Mr. Fairly, ma'am." + +Page 206 +Nothing Could exceed the surprise with which she now lifted up +her eyes to look at me. "From Mr. Fairly?--Why did he not tell +it me?" + +O, worse and worse! I was now compelled to answer, "He did not +know It when he was here, ma'am; he heard it at Northleach, and, +thinking it might be of use to your majesty to have the account +immediately, he sent it over express." + +A dead silence so uncomfortable ensued, that I thought it best +presently to go on further, though unasked. +"Mr. Fairly, ma'am, wrote the news to me, on such small paper, +and in such haste, that it is hardly fit to he shown to your +majesty; but I have the note upstairs." + +No answer; again all silent; and then Princess Augusta said, +"Mamma, Miss Burney says she has the note upstairs." + +"If your majesty pleases to see it"-- + +She looked up again, much more pleasantly, and said, "I shall be +glad to see it," with a little bow. + +Out I went for it, half regretting I had not burned it, to make +the producing it impossible. When I brought it to her, she +received it with the most gracious smile, and immediately read it +aloud, with great complacency, till she came to the end and then, +with a lowered and somewhat altered tone, the "very truly and +sincerely yours," which she seemed to look at for a moment with +some doubt if it were not a mistake, but in returning it she +bowed again, and simply said, "I am very much obliged to Mr. +Fairly." + +You will be sure how much I was pleased during this last week to +hear that the place of the Master of St. Catherine's was given by +her majesty to Mr. Fairly. It is reckoned the best in her gift, +as a sinecure. What is the income I know not: reports differ +from 400 to 500 per annum. + + + THE RETURN TO WINDSOR. + +Saturday, Aug. 16.-We left Cheltenham early this morning. Major +Price breakfasted with us, and was so melancholy at the king's +departure he could hardly speak a word. All Cheltenham was drawn +out into the High-street, the gentles on one side and the commons +on the other, and a band, and "God save the king," playing and +singing. + +My dear Port, with all her friends, was there for a last look, +and a sorrowful one we interchanged; Mr. Seward also, whom again +I am not likely to meet for another two years at least. + +Page 207 + +The journey was quite without accident or adventure. + +And thus ends the Cheltenham episode. May I not justly call it +so, different as it is to all the mode of life I have hitherto +lived here, or alas I am in a way to live henceforward? + +melancholy--most melancholy-was the return to Windsor destitute +of all that could solace, compose, or delight ; replete with +whatever could fatigue, harass, and depress! Ease, leisure, +elegant society, and interesting communication, were now to give +place to arrogant manners, contentious disputation, and arbitrary +ignorance! Oh, heaven! my dearest friends, what scales could +have held and have weighed the heart of your F.B. as she drove +past the door of her revered, lost comforter, to enter the +apartment inhabited by such qualities! + +But before I quit this journey let me tell one very pleasant +anecdote. When we stopped to change horses at Burford I alighted +and went into the inn, to meet Mrs. Gast, to whom I had sent by +Mrs. Frodsham a request to be there as we passed through the +town. I rejoiced indeed to see again the sister of our first and +wisest friend. My Susanna, who knows her too enthusiastic +character, will easily suppose my reception. I was folded in her +arms, and bathed in her tears all my little stay, and my own, +from reflected tenderness for her ever-honoured, loved, and +lamented brother, would not be kept quite back; 'twas a species +of sorrowful joy--painful, yet pleasing--that seemed like a fresh +tribute to his memory and my affection, and made the meeting +excite an emotion that occupied my mind and reflections almost +all the rest of my journey. + +She inquired most kindly after my dear father and my Susanna, and +separately and with interest of all the rest of the family; but +her surprise to see me now, by this most un expected journey, +when she had concluded me inevitably shut up from her sight for +the remainder of her life, joined to the natural warmth of her +disposition, seemed almost to suffocate her. I was very sorry to +leave her, but my time was unavoidably short and hurried. I +inquired after Chesington, and heard very good accounts. + + + + AT WINDSOR AGAIN THE CANON AND MRS. SCHWELLENBERG. +Windsor, Sunday, Aug. 17.-This day, after our arrival, began +precisely the same as every day preceding our journey. The +Sleeping Beauty in the Wood could not awake more completely to +the same scene; yet I neither have been asleep, nor +Page 208 + +am quite a beauty! O! I wish I were as near to the latter as the +former at this minute! + +We had all the set assembled to congratulate his majesty on his +return--generals and colonels without end. I was very glad while +the large party lasted, its diminution into a solitary pair +ending in worse than piquet--a tête-à-tête!--and such a one, +too! after being so spoiled! + +Monday, Aug. 18.-Well, now I have a new personage to introduce to +you, and no small one; ask else the stars, moon and planets! +While I was surrounded with bandboxes, and unpacking, Dr. +Shepherd was announced. Eager to make his compliments on the +safe return, he forced a passage through the back avenues and +stairs, for he told me he did not like being seen coming to me at +the front door, as it might create some jealousies amongst the +other canons! A very commendable circumspection! but whether for +my sake or his own he did not particularize. + +M. de Lalande, he said, the famous astronomer,(290) was just +arrived in England, and now at Windsor, and he had expressed a +desire to be introduced to me. + +Well, while he was talking this over, and I was wondering and +evading, entered Mr. Turbulent. What a surprise at sight of the +reverend canon! The reverend canon, also, was interrupted and +confused, fearing, possibly, the high honour he did me might now +transpire amongst his brethren, notwithstanding his generous +efforts to spare them its knowledge. + +Mr. Turbulent, who looked big with heroics, was quite provoked to +see he had no chance of giving them vent. They each outstayed +the patience of the other, and at last both went off together. + +Some hours after, however, while I was dressing, the canon +returned. I could not admit him, and bid Goter tell him at the +door I was not visible. He desired he might wait till I was +ready, as he had business of importance. I would not let him +into the next room, but said he might stay in the eating-parlour. + +When I was dressed I sent Goter to bring him in. She came back, +grinning and colouring,; she had not found him, she said, but +only Mrs. Schwellenberg, who was there alone, and had + +Page 209 + +called her in to know what she wanted. She answered she came to +seek for a gentleman. + +"There's no gentleman," she cried, "to come into my parlour. it +is not permit. When he comes I will have it locked up." + +O, ho, my poor careful canon! thought I. However, soon after a +tap again at my door introduced him. He said he had been waiting +below in the passage, as he saw Madame Schwellenberg in the +parlour, and did not care to have her know him; but his business +was to settle bringing M. de Lalande to see me in the evening. I +told him I was much honoured, and so forth, but that I received +no evening company, as I was officially engaged. + +He had made the appointment, he said, and could not break it +without affronting him; besides, he gave me to understand it +would be an honour to me for ever to be visited by so great an +astronomer. I agreed as to that, and was forced, moreover, to +agree to all the rest, no resource remaining + +I mentioned to her majesty the state of the case. She thought +the canon very officious, and disapproved the arrangement, but +saw it was unavoidable. + +But when the dinner came I was asked by the présidente, "What for +send you gentlemen to my parlour?" + +" I was dressing, ma'am, and could not possibly receive company +in mine, and thought the other empty." + +"Empty or full is the same! I won't have it. I will lock up the +room when it is done so. No, no, I won't have no gentlemen here; +it is not permit, perticklere when they Nvon't not speak to me!" + +I then heard that "a large man, what you call," had entered that +sacred domain, and seeing there a lady, had quitted it "bob +short!" + +I immediately explained all that had passed, for I had no other +way to save myself from an imputation of favouring the visits and +indiscretion of this most gallant canon. + +"Vell, when he comes so often he might like you. For what won't +you not marry him?" + +This was coming to the point, and so seriously, I found myself +obliged to be serious in answer, to avoid misconstruction, and to +assure her, that were he Archbishop of Canterbury, and actually +at my feet, I would not become archbishopess. + +"Vell, you been right when you don't not like him; I don't not +like the men neither: not one from them!" + +Page 210 + +So this settled us very amicably till tea-time, and in the midst +of that, with a room full of people, I was called out by +Westerhaults to Dr. Shepherd! + +Mrs. Schwellenberg herself actually te-he'd at this, and I could +not possibly help laughing myself, but I hurried into the next +room, where I found him with his friend, M. de Lalande. What a +reception awaited me! how unexpected a one from a famed and great +astronomer. + + + COMPLIMENTS FROM A FAMOUS FOREIGN ASTRONOMER. +M. de Lalande advanced to meet me---I will not be quite positive +it was on tiptoe, but certainly with a mixture of jerk and strut +that could not be quite flat-footed. He kissed my hand with the +air of a petit-maître, and then broke forth into such an harangue +of éloges, so solemn with regard to its own weight and +importance, and so fade(291) with respect to the little personage +addressed, that I could not help thinking it lucky for the +planets, stars, and sun, they were not bound to hear his +comments, though obliged to undergo his calculations. + +On my part sundry profound reverences, with now and then an "O, +monsieur!" or "c'est trop d'honneur," acquitted me so well, that +the first harangue being finished, on the score of general and +grand reputation, éloge the second began, on the excellency with +which "cette célèbre demoiselle" spoke French! + +This may surprise you, my dear friends; but You must consider M. +de Lalande is a great discoverer. + +Well, but had you seen Dr. Shepherd! he looked lost in sleek +delight and wonder, that a person to whom he had introduced M. de +Lalande should be an object for such fine speeches. + +This gentleman's figure, meanwhile, corresponds no better with +his discourse than his scientific profession, for he is an ugly +little wrinkled old man, with a fine showy waistcoat, rich lace +ruffles, and the grimaces of a dentist. I believe he chose to +display that a Frenchman of science could be also a man of +gallantry. + +I was seated between them, but the good doctor made no greater +interruption to the florid professor than I did myself; he only +grinned applause, with placid, but ineffable satisfaction. + +Nothing therefore intervening, éloge the third followed, after a +pause no longer than might be necessary for due admiration + +Page 211 + +of éloge the second. This had for sujet the fair female sex; how +the ladies were now all improved; how they could write, and read, +and spell; how a man now-a-days might talk with them and be +understood, and how delightful it was to see such pretty +creatures turned rational! + +And all this, of course, interspersed with particular +observations and most pointed applications; nor was there in the +whole string of compliments which made up the three bouquets, one +single one amongst them that might have disgraced any petit +maître to utter, or any petite maîtresse to hear. + +The third being ended, a rather longer pause ensued. I believe +he was dry, but I offered him no tea. I would not voluntarily be +accessory to detaining such great personages from higher +avocations. I wished him next to go and study the stars: from +the moon he seemed so lately arrived there was little occasion +for another journey. + +I flatter myself he was of the same opinion, for the fourth éloge +was all upon his unhappiness in tearing himself away from so much +merit, and ended in as many bows as had accompanied his entrance. + +I suppose, in going, he said, with a shrug, to the canon, "M. le +docteur, c'est bien gênant, mais il faut dire des jolies choses +aux dames!"(293) + +He was going the next day to see Dr. Maskelyne's observatory. +Well! I have had him first in mine! + +I was obliged on my return to the tea-room to undergo much dull +raillery from my fair companion, and Much of wonder that "since +the canon had such good preferment" I did not "marry him at +once," for he "would not come so often if he did not want it." + + + THE PRINCE EYES MISS BURNEY CURIOUSLY. + +Tuesday, Aug. 18.--The Duke of York's birthday was kept this day, +instead of Saturday, that Sunday morning might not interfere with +the ball. + +The Prince of Wales arrived early, while I was yet with the +queen. He kissed her hand, and she sent for the princesses. +Only Princess Elizabeth and Princess Sophia were dressed. Her +majesty went into the next room with Mrs. Sandys, to have her +shoes put on, with which she always finishes. The prince and +princesses then chatted away most fluently. +Page 212 + +Princess Elizabeth frequently addressed me with great sweetness +but the prince only with curious eyes. Do not, however, +understand that his looks were either haughty or impertinent far +from it ; they were curious, however, in the extreme. + + + COLONEL MANNERS'S BEATING. + +Colonel Manners made me laugh as If I had been at a farce, by his +history of the late Westminster election, in which Lord John +Townshend conquered Lord Hood. Colonel Manners is a most eager +and active partisan on the side of the government, but so +indiscreet, that he almost regularly gets his head broke at every +contested election; and he relates it as a thing of course. +I inquired if he pursued his musical studies, so happily begun +with Colonel Wellbred? "Why," answered he, "not much, because of +the election; but the thing is, to get an ear: however, I think I +have got one, because I know a tune when I hear it, if it's one +that I've heard before a good many times so I think that's a +proof. but I can never get asked to a concert, and that keeps me +a little behind." + +"Perhaps," cried I, "your friends conclude you have music enough +in your three months' waiting to satisfy you for all the year?" + +"O, ma'am, as to that, I'd just as lief hear so many pots and +pans rattled together; one noise is just as well as another to +me." + +I asked him whether his electioneering with so much activity did +not make his mother, Lady Robert, a little uneasy?--N.B. She is +a methodist. + +"O, it does her a great deal of good," cried he;"for I could +never get her to meddle before ; but when I'd had my head broke, +it provoked her so, she went about herself canvassing among the +good people,--and she got us twenty votes." + +"So then," cried Colonel Goldsworthy, "there are twenty good +people in the world? That's your calculation, is it?" + +Mr. Fisher, who just then came in, and knew nothing of what had +passed, starting the election, said to Colonel Manners, "So, sir, +you have been beat, I hear!" + +He meant only his party ; but his person having shared the same +fate, occasioned a violent shout among the rest at this innocent +speech, and its innocent answer - for Colonel Man- + +Page 213 +ners, looking only a little surprised, simply said, "Yes, I was +beat, a little." + +"A little, sir?" exclaimed Mr. Fisher, "no, a great deal you were +shamefully beat--thrashed thoroughly." +In the midst of a violent second shout, Colonel Manners only +said, "Well, I always hated all that party, and now I hate them +worse than ever." + +"Ay, that I'll be bound for you," cried Colonel Goldsworthy. + +"Yes for having been so drubbed by them," cried Mr. Fisher. + +As I now, through all his good humour, saw Colonel Manners +colour a little, I said in a low voice to Mr. Fisher, "Pray is it +in innocence, or in malice, that you use these terms." + +I saw his innocence by his surprise, and I whispered him the +literal state of all he said; he was quite shocked, and coloured +in his turn, apologising instantly to Colonel Manners, and +protesting he had never heard of his personal ill usage, but only +meant the defeat of his party. + + + MR. FAIRLY IS DISCUSSED BY HIS BROTHER EQUERRIES. +Everybody was full of Mr. Fairly's appointment, and spoke of it +with pleasure. General Budé had seen him in town, where he had +remained some days, to take the oaths, I believe, necessary for +his place. General Budé has long been intimate with him, and +spoke of his character exactly as it has appeared to me; and +Colonel Goldsworthy, who was at Westminster with him, declared he +believed a better man did not exist. "This, in particular," +cried General Budé, "I must say of Fairly: whatever he thinks +right he pursues straightforward and I believe there is not a +sacrifice upon earth that he would not make, rather than turn a +moment out of the path that he had an opinion it was his duty to +keep in." + +They talked a good deal of his late lady; none of them knew her +but very slightly, as she was remarkably reserved. "More than +reserved," cried General Budé, "she was quite cold. Yet she +loved London and public life, and Fairly never had any taste for +them; in that they were very mal assortis, but in all other +things very happy." + +"Yes," cried Colonel Goldsworthy, "and how shall we give praise +enough to a man that would be happy himself, and make + +Page 214 + +his wife so too, for all that difference of opinion ? for it was +all his management, and good address, and good temper. I hardly +know such another man." + +General Budé then related many circumstances of his most +exemplary conduct during the illness of his poor suffering wife, +and after her loss; everybody, indeed, upon the occasion of this +new appointment, has broke forth to do justice to his deserving +it. Mrs. Ariana Egerton, who came twice to drink tea with me on +my being sensa Cerbera, told me that her brother-in-law, Colonel +Masters, who had served with him at Gibraltar, protested there +was not an officer in the army of a nobler and higher character, +both professional and personal. + +She asked me a thousand questions of what I thought about Miss +Fuzilier? She dislikes her so very much, she cannot bear to +think of her becoming Mrs. Fairly. She has met with some marks +of contempt from her in their official meetings at St. James's, +that cannot be pardoned. Miss Fuziller, indeed, seemed to me +formerly, when I used to meet her in company, to have an +uncertainty of disposition that made her like two persons; now +haughty, silent, and supercilious--and then gentle, composed, and +interesting. She Is, however, very little liked, the worst being +always what most spreads abroad. + + +BARON TRENCK: MR. TURBULENT"S RAILLERY. + +Sept. 1.-Peace to the manes of the poor slaughtered partridges! + +I finished this morning the "Memoirs of Baron Trenck," which have +given me a great deal of entertainment; I mean in the first +volume, the second containing not more matter than might fill +four pages. But the singular hardiness, gallantry, ferocity, and +ingenuity of this copy of the knights of ancient times, who has +happened to be born since his proper epoch, have wonderfully +drawn me on, and I could not rest without finishing his +adventures. They are reported to be chiefly of his own +invention; but I really find an air of self-belief in his +relations, that inclines me to think he has but narrated what he +had persuaded himself was true. His ill-usage is such as to +raise the utmost indignation in every reader and if it really +affected his memory and imagination, and became thence the parent +of some few embellishments and episodes, I can neither wonder nor +feel the interest of his narrative diminished. + +Sept. 2.-Mr. Turbulent was in high rage that I was utterly + +Page 215 +invisible since my return from Cheltenham; he protested he had +called seven times at my door without gaining admission, and +never was able to get in but when " Dr. Shepherd had led the +way. + +He next began a mysterious attack upon the proceedings of +Cheltenham. He had heard, he said, strange stories of +flirtations there. I could not doubt what he meant, but I would +not seem to understand him: first, because I know not from whom +he has been picking up this food for his busy spirit, since no +one there appeared collecting it for him ; and secondly, because +I would not degrade an acquaintance which I must hope will prove +as permanent as it is honourable, by conceiving the word +flirtation to be possibly connected with it. + +By every opportunity, in the course of the day, he renewed this +obscure raillery; but I never would second it, either by question +or retort, and therefore it cannot but die away unmeaningly as it +was born. Some effect, however, it seems to have had upon him, +who has withdrawn all his own heroics, while endeavouring to +develop what I have received elsewhere. + + + AMIABLE MRS. SCHWELLENBERG AGAIN. + +Sept. 4.-To-day there was a Drawing-room, and I had the blessing +of my dearest father while it lasted; but not solus; he was +accompanied by my mother; and my dear Esther and her little +innocent Sophy spent part of the time with us. I am to be +god-mother to the two little ones, Esther's and James's. Heaven +bless them! + +We returned to Kew to a late dinner; and, indeed, I had one of +the severest evenings I ever passed, where my heart took no share +in unkindness and injustice. I was wearied in the extreme, as I +always am on these drawing-room days, which begin with full +hair-dressing at six o'clock in the morning, and hardly ever +allow any breakfast time, and certainly only standing, except +while frizzing, till the drawing-room commences; and then two +journeys in that decked condition--and then another dressing, +with three dressing attendances--and a dinner at near seven +o'clock. + +Yet, not having power to be very amusing after all this, I was +sternly asked by Mrs. Schwellenberg, "For what I did not talk?" + +I answered simply, "Because I was tired." + +"You tired!--what have you done? when I used to do so much more- +-you tired! what have you to do but to be happy: + +Page 216 + +--have you the laces to buy? have you the wardrobe to part? have +you--you tired? Vell, what will become next, when you have every +happiness!--you might not be tired. No, I can't bear It." + +This, and so much more than it would be possible to write, all +uttered with a haughtiness and contempt that the lowest servant +could not have brooked receiving, awoke me pretty completely, +though before I was scarce able to keep my eyelids a moment open; +but so sick I turned, that indeed it was neither patience nor +effort that enabled me to hear her; I had literally hardly +strength, mental or bodily, to have answered her. Every +happiness mine!--O gracious heaven! thought I, and is this the +companion of my leisure--the associate of my life! Ah, my dear +friends, I will not now go on--I turn sick again. + + + A ROYAL JOKE. + +Sept. 29.-The birth-day of our lovely eldest princess. + It happens to be also the birth-day of Miss Goldsworthy; and +her majesty, in a sportive humour, bid me, as soon as she +was dressed, go and bring down the two "Michaelmas geese." + I told the message to the Princess Augusta, who repeated It +in its proper words. I attended them to the queen's dressing- +room, and there had the pleasure to see the cadeaux +presentations. The birth-days in this house are made extremely +interesting at the moment, by the reciprocations of presents and +congratulations in this affectionate family. Were they but +attended with less of toil (I hate to add ette, for I am sure it +is not little toil), I should like them amazingly. + + + COLONEL GOLDSWORTHY'S BREACH OF ETIQUETTE. +Mrs. Schwellenberg has become both colder and fiercer. I cannot +now even meet her eyes-they are almost terrifying. Nothing upon +earth having passed between us, nor the most remote subject of +offence having occurred, I have only one thing on which to rest +my conjectures, for the cause of this newly-awakened evil spirit, +and this is from the gentlemen. They had all of late been so +wearied that they could not submit even for a quarter of an hour +to her society : they had swallowed a dish of tea and quitted the +room all in five minutes, and Colonel Goldsworthy in particular, +when without any companion in his waiting, had actually always +fallen asleep, + +Page 217 + +even during that short interval, or at least shut his +eyes, to save himself the toil of speaking. + +This she brooked very ill, but I was esteemed innocent, and +therefore made, occasionally, the confidant of her complaints. +But lately, that she has been ill, and kept upstairs every night, +she has always desired me to come to her as soon as tea was over, +which, she observed, "need not keep me five minutes." On the +contrary, however, the tea is now at least an hour, and often +more. + +I have been constantly received with reproaches for not coming +sooner, and compelled to declare I had not been sooner at +liberty. This has occasioned a deep and visible resentment, all +against them, yet vented upon me, not in acknowledged +displeasure--pride there interfered--but in constant ill-humour, +ill-breeding, and ill-will. + +At length, however, she has broken out into one inquiry, which, +if favourably answered, might have appeased all; but truth was +too strongly in the way. A few evenings after her confinement +she very gravely said, "Colonel Goldsworthy always sleeps with +me! sleeps he with you the same?" + +In the midst of all my irksome discomfort, it was with difficulty +I could keep my countenance at this question, which I was forced +to negative. + +The next evening she repeated it. "Vell, sleeps he yet with you- +-Colonel Goldsworthy?" + +"Not yet, ma'am," I hesitatingly answered. + +"O! ver vell! he will sleep with nobody but me! O, i von't come +down." + +And a little after she added, "I believe he vill marry you." + +"I believe not, ma'am," I answered. + +And then, very gravely,, she proposed him to me, saying he only +wanted a little encouragement, for he was always declaring he +wished for a wife, and yet wanted no fortune-" so for what won't +you not have him?" + +I assured her we were both perfectly well satisfied apart, and +equally free from any thoughts of each other. + +"Then for what," she cried, "won't you have Dr. Shepherd?" She +Is now in the utmost haste to dispose of me! And then she added +she had been told that Dr. Shepherd would marry me! + +She is an amazing woman ! Alas, I might have told her I knew too +well what it was to be tied to a companion ill-assorted and +unbeloved, where I could not help myself, to + +Page 218 + +make any such experiment as a volunteer! + +If she asks me any more about Colonel Goldsworthy and his +sleeping, I think I will answer I am too near-sighted to be sure +if he is awake or not! + +However, I cannot but take this stroke concerning the table +extremely ill; for though amongst things of the very least +consequence in itself, it is more openly designed as an affront +than any step that has been taken with me yet. + +I have given the colonel a hint, however,-that he may keep awake +in future. . . . + + + ILLNESS OF MRS. SCHWELLENBERG. + +Oct. 2.-Mrs. Schwellenberg, very ill indeed, took leave of the +queen at St. James's, to set off for Weymouth, in company with +Mrs. Hastings. I was really very sorry for her; she was truly in +a situation Of suffering, from bodily pain, the most pitiable. I +thought, as I looked at her, that if the ill-humours I so often +experience could relieve her, I would consent to bear them +unrepining, in preference to seeing or knowing her so ill. But +it is just the contrary; spleen and ill-temper only aggravate +disease, and while they involve others in temporary participation +of their misery, twine it around themselves in bandages almost +stationary. She was civil, too, poor woman. I suppose when +absent she could not well tell why she had ever been otherwise. + + + GENERAL GRENVILLE'S REGIMENT AT DRILL. + +Oct. 9.-I go on now pretty well; and I am so much acquainted with +my party, that when no strangers are added, I begin to mind +nothing but the first entree of my male visitants. My royal +mistress is all sweetness to me; Miss Planta is most kind and +friendly; General Budé is ever the same, and ever what I do not +wish to alter; Colonel Goldsworthy seems coming round to +good-humour; and even General Grenville begins to grow sociable. +He has quitted the corner into which he used to cast his long +figure, merely to yawn and lounge ; and though yawn and lounge he +does still, and must, I believe, to the end of the chapter, he +yet does it in society, and mixes between it loud sudden laughter +at what is occasionally said, and even here and there a question +relative to what is going forward. Nay-yesterday he even seated +himself at the tea + +Page 219 + +table, and amused himself by playing with my work-box, and making +sundry inquiries about its contents. + +Oct. 10.-This evening, most unwittingly, I put my new neighbour's +good-humour somewhat to the test. He asked me whether I had +walked out in the morning? Yes, I answered, I always walked. +"And in the Little park?" cried he. Yes, I said, and to Old +Windsor, and round the park wall, and along the banks of the +Thames, and almost to Beaumont Lodge, and in the avenue of the +Great park, and in short, in all the vicinage of Windsor. "But +in the Little park?" he cried. + +Still I did not understand him, but plainly answered, "Yes, this +morning,; and indeed many mornings." + +"But did you see nothing--remark nothing there? + +No, not that I recollect, except some soldiers drilling." +You never heard such a laugh as now broke forth from all for, +alas for my poor eyes, there had been in the Little park General +Grenville's whole regiment, with all his officers, and himself at +their head! Fortunately it is reckoned one of the finest in the +king's service : this I mentioned, adding that else I could never +again appear before him. + +He affected to be vehemently affronted, but hardly knew how, even +in joke, to appear so ; and all the rest helped the matter on, by +saying that they should know now how to distinguish his regiment, +which henceforth must always be called " the drill." + +The truth is, as soon as I perceived a few red-coats I had turned +another way, to avoid being marched at, and therefore their +number and splendour had all been thrown away upon me. + +(278) "Cerbera" was Fanny's not inappropriate name for +Mrs. Schwellenberg.-ED. + +(279) By William Falconer, born at Edinburgh in 1730. His poem, +"The Shipwreck," was suggested by his own experience at sea, and +was first published in 1762. Falconer sailed for Bengal in 1769, +the vessel touched at the Cape in December, and was never heard +of more.-ED. + +(280) In the "European Magazine" for May 1788, appeared an +article from the pen of Baretti, headed "On Signora Piozzi's +publication of Dr. Johnson's Letters, Stricture the First." It +is filled with coarse, personal abuse of the lady, whom the +author terms "the frontless female, who goes now by the mean +appellation of Piozzi." "Stricture the Second," in the same +tone, appeared the following month, and the "Third," which closed +the series, in August of the same year. In the last number +Baretti comments, with excessive bitterness, on Mrs. Piozzi's +second marriage.-ED. + +(281) "Original Love-letters between a Lady of Quality and a +Person of Inferior Station." Dublin, 1784. Though by no means +devoid of "nonsense and romance," the little book is not +altogether undeserving of Colonel Digby's encomium. The story is +very slight, and concludes, quite unnecessarily and rather +unexpectedly, with the death of the gentleman, just as his good +fortune seems assured.-ED. + +(282) Robert Raikes, who was born at Gloucester in 1735, was a +printer and the son of a printer. His father was proprietor of +the "Gloucester journal." In conjunction with the Rev. Mr. +Stocks, Raikes founded the institution of Sunday Schools in 1781. +He died at Gloucester in 1811.-ED. + +(283) "Cui Bono? or, an Inquiry what Benefits can arise either to +the English or the Americans, the French, Spaniards, or Dutch, +from the greatest victories, or successes, in the present War, +being a Series of Letters, addressed to Monsieur Necker, late +Controller- General of the Finances of France," By Josiah Tucker, +D.D., published at Gloucester, 1781. The pamphlet was written in +the advocacy of a general peace, and attracted much attention. +The third edition appeared in 1782.-ED, + +(284) Fanny alludes to an old adventure of Baretti's. He was +accosted in the Haymarket by a prostitute, October 6, 1769. The +woman was importunate, and the irritable Italian struck her on +the hand; upon which three men came up and attacked him. He then +drew a dagger in self defence, and mortally wounded one of his +assailants. Baretti was tried at the Old Bailey for murder, +October 20, and acquitted; Johnson, Burke, and Garrick appearing +as witnesses to his character.-ED. + +(285) With all Fanny's partiality for the "sweet queen," the +evidences of that sweet creature's selfishness keep turning up in +a very disagreeable manner-ED. + +(286)) "The Country Girl," Which is still occasionally performed, +is an adaptation by Garrick of one of the most brilliant, and +most indecent, of Restoration comedies--Wycherley's "Country +Wife." Mrs. Jordan played the part of "Peggy," the "Margery +Punchwife" of Wycherley's play. It was in this part that she +made her first appearance in London, at Drury Lane, October 18, +1785. She was one of the most admired actresses of her time. +Genest, who saw her, writes of her, "As an actress she never had +a superior in her proper line Mrs. Jordan's Country Girl, Romp, +Miss Hoyden, and all characters of that description were +exquisite--in breeches parts no actress can be put in competition +with her but Mrs. Woffington, and to Mrs. Woffington she was as +superior in point of voice as Mrs. Woffington was superior to her +in beauty" (viii. p. 430). Mrs. Jordan died at St. Cloud, July +5, 1816, aged fifty. There is an admirable portrait of her by +Romney in the character of the "Country Girl."-ED. + +(287) See ante, vol. i., p. 151.-ED. + +(288) Fanny's cousin, the son of Dr. Burney's brother, Richard +Burney of Worcester.-ED. + +(289) The poem in question is the "Ode to the Evening Star," the +fifteenth of the first hook of Odes. Mr. Akenside, having paid +his tear on fair Olympia's virgin tomb, roams in quest of +Philomela's bower, and desires the evening star to send its +golden ray to guide him. it is pretty, however. The first +stanza runs as follows:-- + +"To night retired, the queen of heaven +With young Endymion strays; +And now to Hesper it is given +Awhile to rule the vacant sky, +Till she shall to her lamp supply +A stream of lighter rays."-ED. + +(290) Joseph jérome le Français de Lalande, one of the most +distinguished of French astronomers. He was born in 1732, and +died in 1807.-ED. + +(291) Silly: insipid. + +(292) 'Tis too much honour." + +(293) "'Tis very troublesome, but one must say pretty things to +ladies." + + + + +Page 220 + SECTION 14 + (1788-9.) + + + THE KING'S ILLNESS. + + +[Fanny's vivid account of the king's illness, from the autumn of +1788 to the spring of 1789, needs no recommendation to the +reader. It requires only to be supplemented by a very brief +sketch of the consequent proceedings in Parliament, which excited +so much foolish indignation in the royal household, and in Fanny +herself. That she should display more feeling than judgment +under circumstances so affecting, was, perhaps, only to be +expected, but it is none the less evident, from certain passages +in the " Diary, that the tainted Court atmosphere had already +clouded, to some extent, her naturally clear understanding. The +insanity of a sovereign is, to her, a purely private and personal +matter, with respect to which the only business of the public is +to offer up prayers for his majesty's speedy recovery. That +ministers should take steps to provide for the performance of the +royal functions in government, during the period of the king's +incapacity, is an act of effrontery at which she wants words to +express her indignation. Mrs. Schwellenberg, who thought it +treason to say that the King was ever at all indisposed, was +scarcely more unreasonable in this particular than Miss Fanny +Burney, who shuddered, with sentimental horror, at the mention of +a Regency Bill. + +About the commencement of November, 1788, there was no longer any +doubt as to the serious nature of the king's malady. At the +meeting of Parliament the prime minister, Mr. Pitt, Moved that a +committee be appointed to examine the physicians attendant upon +his majesty. This motion was agreed to, and on the 10th of +December the report of the committee was laid upon the table of +the House. The physicians agreed that his Majesty was then +totally incapable of attending to public business. They agreed +also in holding Out strong hopes of his ultimate recovery, but +none of them would venture to give any opinion as to the probable +duration of his derangement. Upon this, Mr. Pitt + +Page 221 + +moved for a committee to examine and report upon such precedents +as might be found of proceedings in cases of the interruption, +from any cause, of the personal exercise of the royal authority. +The motion was strenuously resisted by the opposition, headed by +Mr. Fox, who argued that whenever the sovereign was incapacitated +from performing the functions of his office, the heir-apparent, +if of full age and capacity, had an inalienable right to act as +his substitute. This doctrine seems certainly inconsistent with +the liberal principles professed by the opposition, but it will +be remembered that at this time the Prince of Wales was +politically in alliance with that party, and that he was on terms +of friendship with Mr. Fox himself. On the other hand, Pitt +protested that in such circumstances the heir-apparent had no +more claim to exercise, as a matter of right, the royal +functions, than any other Subject of the crown ; and that it +belonged only to the two Houses of Parliament to make such +provision for supplying the deficiency in the government as they +should think proper. As to the person of the Regent there was no +dispute ; the question was, simply, whether the Prince of Wales +should assume the Regency in his own right, or by the authority +of Parliament. + +Pitt's motion being carried, the committee was accordingly +appointed, and proceeded at once to make their examination and +report. The prime minister then (December 16) moved two +resolutions, declaring, firstly, that the king was incapable of +performing the functions of his office, and, secondly, that it +was the duty of Parliament to provide for the exercise of those +functions. In spite of Fox's opposition both resolutions were +carried, and a third resolution was moved by Pitt, and passed +(December 23), empowering the lord chancellor to affix the great +seal to the intended Regency Bill. + +Early in January, 1789, a fresh examination of the physicians Was +voted, but gave no more definite hopes of an early recovery. Pitt +now wrote to the Prince of Wales, informing him of the plan +intended to be pursued : that the prince should be invested with +the authority of Regent, under certain restrictions, regarding +especially the granting of peerages, offices, or pensions ; and +that the care of the king's person and the control of the royal +household should remain with the queen. The prince, in reply, +expressed his readiness to accept the Regency, while protesting +strongly against the proposed limitations of his authority ; and +on the 16th of January, a bill, in which the prime ministers +scheme was embodied, was introduced into the House. The question +was actively debated in both Houses, until, in the latter part of +February, the king's recovery put a stop to further +proceedings.-ED.] + +Page 222 + UNCERTAIN STATE OF THE KING's HEALTH. + +Kew, Friday, Oct. 17.-Our return to Windsor is postponed till to- +morrow. The king is not well; he has not been quite well some +time, yet nothing I hope alarming, though there is an uncertainty +as to his complaint not very satisfactory; so precious, too, is +his health. + +Oct. 18.-The king was this morning better. My royal mistress +told me Sir George Baker(294) was to settle whether we returned +to Windsor to-day or to-morrow. + +Sunday, Oct. 19.-The Windsor journey is again postponed, and the +king is but very indifferent. Heaven preserve him! there is +something unspeakably alarming in his smallest indisposition. I +am very much with the queen, who, I see, is very uneasy, but she +talks not of it. + +We are to stay here some time longer, and so unprepared were we +for more than a day or two, that our distresses are prodigious, +even for clothes to wear; and as to books, there are not three +amongst us; and for company only Mr. de Luc and Miss Planta; and +so, in mere desperation for employment, I have just begun a +tragedy.(295) We are now in so spiritless a situation that my +mind would bend to nothing less sad, even in fiction. But I am +very glad something of this kind has occurred to me; it may while +away the tediousness of this unsettled, unoccupied, unpleasant +period. + +Oct. 20.-The king was taken very ill in the night, and we have +all been cruelly frightened - but it went off, and, thank heaven! +he is now better. + +I had all my morning devoted to receiving inquiring visits. Lady +Effingham, Sir George Howard, Lady Frances Howard, all came from +Stoke to obtain news of the king; his least illness spreads in a +moment. Lady Frances Douglas came also. She is wife of the +Archibald Douglas who caused the famous Hamilton trial in the +House of Peers, for his claim to the Douglas name.(296) She is +fat, and dunch, and heavy, and ugly; otherwise, they say, +agreeable enough. + +Page 223 + +Mr. Turbulent has been sent for, and he enlivens the scene +somewhat. He is now all he should be, and so altered ! scarce a +flight left. + +Oct. 21.-The good and excellent king is again better, and we +expect to remove to Windsor in a day or two. + +Oct. 23.-The king continues to mend, thank God! Saturday we hope +to return to Windsor. Had not this composition fit seized me, +societyless, and bookless, and viewless as I am, I know not how I +could have whiled away my being; but my tragedy goes on, and +fills up all vacancies. + +Oct. 25.-Yesterday was so much the same, I have not marked it; +not so to-day. The king was so much better that our Windsor +journey at length took place, with permission of Sir George +Baker, the only physician his majesty will admit. Miss Cambridge +was with me to the last moment. + +I have been hanging up a darling remembrance of my revered, +incomparable Mrs. Delany. Her "Sacharissa" is now over my +chimney. I could not at first bear it, but now I look at it, and +call her back to my eye's mind perpetually. This, like the +tragedy I have set about, suits the turn of things in this +habitation. + +I had a sort of conference with his Majesty, or rather I was the +object to whom he spoke, with a manner so uncommon, that a high +fever alone could account for it, a rapidity, a hoarseness of +voice, a volubility, an earnestness--a vehemence, rather--it +startled me inexpressibly; yet with a graciousness exceeding even +all I ever met with before--it was almost kindness! + +Heaven--Heaven preserve him! The queen grows more + +Page 224 + +and more uneasy. She alarms me sometimes for herself, at other +times she has a sedateness that wonders me still more. + +Sunday, Oct. 26-The king was prevailed upon not to go to chapel +this morning. I met him in the passage from the queen's room; he +stopped me, and conversed upon his health near half-an-hour, +still with that extreme quickness of Speech and manner that +belongs to fever; and he hardly sleeps, he tells me, one minute +all night; indeed, if he recovers not his rest, a most delirious +fever seems to threaten him. He is all agitation, all emotion, +yet all benevolence and goodness, even to a degree that makes it +touching to hear him speak. He assures everybody of his health; +he seems only fearful to give uneasiness to others, yet certainly +he is better than last night. Nobody speaks of his illness, nor +what they think of it. + +Oct. 29.-The dear and good king again gains ground, and the queen +becomes easier. + +To-day Miss Planta told me she heard Mr. Fairly was confined at +Sir R- F--'s, and therefore she would now lay any wager he was to +marry Miss F--.(297) + +In the evening I inquired what news of him of General Bude: he +told me he was still confined at a friend's house, but avoided +naming where--probably from suggesting that, however little truth +there may yet have been in the report, more may belong to it from +this particular intercourse. + + + + THE KING COMPLAINS OF WANT OF SLEEP. + +Nov. 1.-Our king does not advance in amendment; he grows so weak +that he walks like a gouty man, yet has such spirits that he has +talked away his voice, and is so hoarse it is painful to hear +him. The queen is evidently in great uneasiness. God send him +better! + +She read to me to-day a lecture of Hunter's. During the reading, +twice, at pathetic passages, my poor queen shed tears. "How +nervous I am?" she cried; "I am quite a fool! Don't you think +so?" + +No, ma'am," was all I dared answer. + +She revived, however, finished the lecture, and went upstairs and +played upon the Princess Augusta's harpsichord. + +The king was hunting. Her anxiety for his return was + +Page 225 + +greater than ever. The moment he arrived he sent a page to +desire to have coffee and take his bark in the queen's dressing- +room. She said she would pour it out herself, and sent to +inquire how he drank it. + +The king is very sensible of the great change there is in +himself, and of her disturbance at it. It seems, but heaven +avert it! a threat of a total breaking up of the constitution. +This, too, seems his own idea. I was present at his first seeing +Lady Effingham on his return to Windsor this last time. "My dear +Effy," he cried, "you see me, all at once, an old man." +I was so much affected by this exclamation, that I wished to run +out of the room. Yet I could not but recover when Lady +Effingham, in her well-meaning but literal way, composedly +answered, "We must all grow old, sir,- -I am sure I do." + +He then produced a walking-stick which he had just ordered. "He +could not," he said, "get on without it; his strength seemed +diminishing hourly." + +He took the bark, he said But the queen," he cried, "is my +physician, and no man need have a better; she is my friend, and +no Man can have a better." + +How the queen commanded herself I cannot conceive; but there was +something so touching in this speech, from his hoarse voice and +altered countenance, that it overset me very much. + +Nor can I ever forget him in what passed this night. When I came +to the queen's dressing-room he was still with her. He +constantly conducts her to it before he retires to his own. He +was begging her not to speak to him when he got to his room, that +he might fall asleep, as he felt great want of that refreshment. +He repeated this desire, I believe, at least a hundred times, +though, far enough from need Ing it, the poor queen never uttered +one syllable! He then applied to me, saying he was really very +well, except in that one particular, that he could not sleep. + +The kindness and benevolence of his manner all this time was most +penetrating: he seemed to have no anxiety but to set the queen at +rest, and no wish but to quiet and give pleasure to all around +him, To me, he never yet spoke with such excess of benignity: he +appeared even solicitous to satisfy me that he should do well, +and to spare all alarm; but there was a hurry in his manner and +voice that indicated sleep to be + +page 226 + +indeed wanted. Nor could I, all night, forbear foreseeing "He +sleeps now, or to-morrow he will be surely delirious!" + +Sunday, Nov. 2.-The king was better, and prevailed upon to give +up going to the early prayers. The queen and princesses went. +After they were gone, and I was following towards my room, the +king called after me, and he kept me in discourse a full half +hour nearly all the time they were away. + +It was all to the same purport; that he was well, but wanted more +rest ; yet he said he had slept the last night like a child. But +his manner, still, was so touchingly kind, so softly +gracious, that it doubled my concern to see him so far from well. + + + DISTRESS OF THE QUEEN. + +Nov. 3.--We are all here in a most uneasy state. The king is +better and worse so frequently, and changes so, daily, backwards +and forwards, that everything is to be apprehended, if his nerves +are not some way quieted. I dreadfully fear he is on the eve of +some severe fever. The queen is almost overpowered with some +secret terror. I am affected beyond all expression in her +presence, to see what struggles she makes to support serenity. +To-day she gave up the conflict when I was alone with her, and +burst into a violent fit of tears. It was very, very terrible to +see! How did I wish her a Susan or a Fredy! To unburthen her +loaded mind would be to relieve it from all but inevitable +affliction. O, may heaven in its mercy never, never drive me to +that solitary anguish more!- I have tried what it would do; I +speak from bitter recollection of past melancholy experience. + +Sometimes she walks up and down the room without uttering a word, +but shaking her head frequently, and in evident distress and +irresolution. She is often closeted with Miss Goldsworthy, of +whom, I believe, she makes inquiry how her brother has found the +king, from time to time. + +The princes both came to Kew, in several visits to the king. The +Duke of York has also been here, and his fond father could hardly +bear the pleasure of thinking him anxious for his health. "So +good," he says "is Frederick!" + +To-night, indeed, at tea-time, I felt a great shock, in hearing, +from General Budé, that Dr, Heberden had been called in. It is +true more assistance seemed much wanting, yet the king's rooted +aversion to physicians makes any new-comer tremen- + +Page 227 + +dous. They said, too, it was merely for counsel, not that his +majesty was worse. + +Nov. 4.-Passed much the same as the days preceding it, the queen +in deep distress, the king in a state almost incomprehensible, +and all the house uneasy and alarmed. The Drawing-room was again +put off, and a steady residence seemed fixed at Windsor. + +Nov. 5.-I found my poor royal mistress, in the morning, sad and +sadder still; something horrible seemed impending, and I saw her +whole resource was in religion. We had talked lately much upon +solemn Subjects, and she appeared already preparing herself to be +resigned for whatever might happen. + +I was still wholly unsuspicious of the greatness of the cause she +had for dread. Illness, a breaking up of the constitution, the +payment of sudden infirmity and premature old age for the waste +of unguarded health and strength,--these seemed to me the threats +awaiting her; and great and grievous enough, yet how short of the +fact! + +I had given up my walks some days; I was too uneasy to quit the +house while the queen remained at home, and she now never left +it. Even Lady Effingham, the last two days, could not obtain +admission; She Could only hear from a page how the royal family +went on. + +At noon the king went out in his chaise, with the princess royal, +for an airing. I looked from my window to see him; he was all +smiling benignity, but gave so many orders to the postilions, and +got in and out of the carriage twice, with such agitation, that +again my fear of a great fever hanging over him grew more and +more powerful. Alas! how little did I imagine I should see him +no more for so long--so black a period! + +When I went to my poor queen, still worse and worse I found her +spirits. She had been greatly offended by some anecdote in a +newspaper--the "Morning Herald"--relative to the king's +indisposition. She declared the printer should be called to +account. She bid me burn the paper, and ruminated upon who could +be employed to represent to the editor that he must answer at his +peril any further such treasonable paragraphs. I named to her +Mr. Fairly, her own servant, and one so peculiarly fitted for any +office requiring honour and discretion. "Is he here, then?" she +cried. "No," I answered, but he was expected in a few days. + +I saw her concurrence with this proposal. The princess royal +soon returned. She came in cheerfully, and gave, in + +Page 228 + +German, a history of the airing, and one that seemed Comforting. +Soon after, suddenly arrived the Prince of Wales. He came into +the room.- He had just quitted Brighthelmstone. Something +passing within seemed to render this meeting awfully distant on +both sides. She asked if he should not return to +Brighthelmstone? He answered yes, the next day, He +desired to speak with her they retired together. + + + FIRST OUTBURST OF THE KING's DELIRIUM. + +I had but just reached my own room, deeply musing on the state +of' things, when a chaise stopped at the rails; and I saw Mr. +Fairly and his son Charles alight, and enter the house. He +walked lamely, and seemed not yet recovered from his late attack. +Though most happy to see him at this alarming time, when I +knew he could be most useful, as there is no one to whom the +queen opens so confidentially upon her affairs, I had yet a fresh +stair to see, by his anticipated arrival, though still lame, that +he must have been sent for, and hurried hither. + +Only Miss Planta dined with me. We were both nearly silent: I +was shocked at I scarcely knew what, and she seemed to know too +much for speech. She stayed with me till six o'clock, but +nothing passed, beyond general solicitude that the king might get +better. + +Meanwhile, a stillness the most uncommon reigned over the whole +house. Nobody stirred ; not a voice was heard - not a step, not +a motion. I could do nothing but watch, without knowing for what +: there seemed a strangeness in the house most extraordinary. + +At seven o'clock Columb came to tell me that the music was +all forbid, and the musicians ordered away ! This +was the last step to be expected, so fond as his majesty is -of +his concert, and I thought it might have rather soothed him: I +could not understand the prohibition; all seemed stranger and +stranger. + +Very late came General Budé. He looked extremely uncomfortable. + Later still came Colonel Goldsworthy: his countenance all gloom, +and his voice scarce articulating no or yes. General Grenville +was gone to town. General Bud asked me if I had seen Mr. +Fairly; and last Of all, at length, he also entered. How grave +he looked, how shut up in himself! A silent bow was his only +salutation +Page 229 + +how changed I thought it,--and how fearful a meeting, SO long +expected as a solace! + +Colonel Goldsworthy was called away: I heard his voice whispering +some time in the passage, but he did not return. Various small +speeches now dropped, by which I found the house was all in +disturbance, and the king in some strange way worse, and the +queen taken ill! + +At length, General Budé said he would go and see if any one was +in the music-room. Mr. Fairly said he thought he had better not +accompany him, for as he had not yet been seen, his appearance +might excite fresh emotion. The general agreed, and went. + +We were now alone. But I could not speak: neither did Mr. +Fairly. I worked---I had begun a hassock for my Fredy. A long +and serious pause made me almost turn sick with anxious wonder +and fear, and an inward trembling totally disabled me from asking +the actual situation of things; if I had not had my work, to +employ my eyes and hands, I must have left the room to quiet +myself. + +I fancy he penetrated into all this, though, at first, he had +concluded me informed of everything; but he now, finding me +silent, began an inquiry whether I was yet acquainted how bad +all was become, and how ill the king? I really had no utterance +for very alarm, but my look was probably sufficient; he kindly +saved me any questions, and related to me the whole of the +mysterious horror! + +O my dear friends, what a history! The king, at dinner, had +broken forth into positive delirium, which long had been menacing +all who saw him most closely; and the queen was so overpowered as +to fall into violent hysterics. All the princesses were in +misery, and the Prince of Wales had burst into tears. No one +knew what was to follow-- no one could conjecture the event. + +He spoke of the poor queen, in terms of the most tender +compassion; he pitied her, he said, from the bottom of his soul; +and all her sweet daughters, the lovely princesses--there was no +knowing to what we might look forward for them all! + +I was an almost silent listener ; but, having expressed himself +very warmly for all the principal sufferers, he kindly, and with +interest, examined me. "How," he cried, "are You? Are you +strong? are you stout? can you go through such scenes as these? +you do not look much fitted for them." + +Page 230 +"I shall do very well," I cried, "for, at a time such as this, I +shall surely forget myself utterly. The queen will be all to me. + I shall hardly, I think, feel myself at liberty to be unhappy!" +. . . + + + + AN ANXIOUS NIGHT. + +Mr. Fairly stayed with me all the evening, during which we heard +no voice, no sound! all was deadly still! + +At ten o'clock I said, " I must go to my own room, to be in +waiting." He determined upon remaining downstairs, in the +equerries' apartment, there to wait some intelligence. We parted +in mutual expectation of dreadful tidings. In separating, he +took my hand, and earnestly recommended me to keep myself stout +and firm. + +If this beginning of the night was affecting, what did it not +grow afterwards Two long hours I waited-alone, in silence, in +ignorance, in dread! I thought they would never be over; at +twelve o'clock I seemed to have spent two whole days in waiting. +I then opened my door, to listen, in the passage, if anything +seemed stirring. +Not a sound could I hear. My apartment seemed wholly separated +from life and motion. Whoever was in the house kept at the other +end, and not even a servant crossed the stairs or passage by my +rooms. + +I would fain have crept on myself, anywhere in the world, for +some inquiry, or to see but a face, and hear a voice, but I did +not dare risk losing a sudden summons. I re-entered my room and +there passed another endless hour, in conjectures too horrible to +relate. + +A little after one, I heard a step--my door opened--and a page +said I must come to the queen. I could hardly get along--hardly +force myself into the room. dizzy I felt, almost to falling. +But, the first shock passed, I became more collected. Useful, +indeed, proved the previous lesson of the evening : it had +stilled, If not fortified my mind, which had else, in a scene +Such is this, been all tumult and emotion. + +My poor royal mistress! never can I forget her countenance--pale, +ghastly pale she looked; she was seated to be undressed, and +attended by Lady Elizabeth Waldegrave and Miss Goldsworthy ; her +whole frame was disordered, yet she was still and quiet. These +two ladies assisted me to undress her, or rather I assisted them, +for they were firmer, from being + +Page 231 + +longer present; my shaking hands and blinded eyes could scarce be +of any use. I gave her some camphor julep, which had been +ordered her by Sir George Baker. "How cold I am!" she cried, and +put her hand on mine; marble it felt! and went to my heart's +core! + +The king, at the instance of Sir George Baker, had consented to +sleep in the next apartment, as the queen was ill. For himself, +he would listen to nothing. Accordingly, a bed was put up for +him, by his own order, in the queen's second dressing-room, +immediately adjoining to the bed-room. He would not be further +removed. Miss Goldsworthy was to sit up with her, by the king's +direction. + +I would fain have remained in the little dressing-room, on the +other side the bed-room, but she would not permit it. She +ordered Sandys, her wardrobe-woman, in the place of Mrs. +Thielky, to sit up there. Lady Elizabeth also pressed to stay; +but we were desired to go to our own rooms. + +How reluctantly did I come away ! how hardly to myself leave her! +Yet I went to bed, determined to preserve my strength to the +utmost of my ability, for the service of my unhappy mistress. I +could not, however, sleep. I do not suppose an eye was closed in +the house all night. + +Nov. 6.-I rose at six, dressed in haste by candle-light, and +unable to wait for my summons in a suspense so awful, I stole +along the passage in the dark, a thick fog intercepting all faint +light, to see if I could meet with Sandys, or any one, to tell me +how the night had passed. + +When I came to the little dressing-room, I stopped, irresolute +what to do. I heard men's voices; I was seized with the most +cruel alarm at such a sound in her majesty's dressing-room. I +waited some time, and then the door opened, and I saw Colonel +Goldsworthy and Mr. Batterscomb.(298) I was relieved from my +first apprehension, yet shocked enough to see them there at this +early hour. They had both sat up there all night, as well as +Sandys. Every page, both of the king and queen, had also sat up, +dispersed in the passages and ante-rooms! and O what horror in +every face I met! I waited here, amongst them, till Sandys was +ordered by the queen to carry her a pair of gloves. I could not +resist + +Page 232 + +the opportunity to venture myself before her. I glided into the +room, but stopped at the door: she was in bed, sitting up; Miss +Goldsworthy was on a stool by her side! I feared approaching +without permission, yet could not prevail with myself to retreat. + She was looking down, and did not see me. Miss Goldsworthy, +turning round, said, "'Tis Miss Burney, ma'am." + +She leaned her head forward, and in a most soft manner, said, +"Miss Burney, how are you?" + +Deeply affected, I hastened up to her, but, in trying to speak, +burst into an irresistible torrent of tears. + +My dearest friends, I do it at this moment again, and can hardly +write for them; yet I wish you to know all this piercing history +right. + +She looked like death--colourless and wan; but nature is +infectious; the tears gushed from her own eyes, and a perfect +agony of weeping ensued, which, once begun, she could not stop; +she did not, indeed, try; for when it subsided, and she wiped her +eyes, she said, "I thank you, Miss Burney--you have made me cry-- +it is a great relief to me--I had not been able to cry before, +all this night long." O, what a scene followed! what a scene was +related! The king, in the middle of the night, had insisted upon +seeing if his queen was not removed from the house and he had +come into her room, with a candle in his hand, opened the bed- +curtains, and satisfied himself she was there, and Miss +Goldsworthy by her side. This observance of his directions had +much soothed him; but he stayed a full half hour, and the depth +of terror during that time no words can paint. The fear of such +another entrance was now so strongly upon the nerves of the poor +queen, that she could hardly support herself. + + + THE KING'S DELIRIOUS CONDITION. + +The king-the royal sufferer-was still in the next room, attended +by Sir George Baker and Dr. Heberden, and his pages, with Colonel +Goldsworthy occasionally, and as he called for him. He kept +talking unceasingly; his voice was so lost in hoarseness and +weakness, it was rendered almost inarticulate; but its tone was +still all benevolence--all kindness--all touching graciousness. + +It was thought advisable the queen should not rise, lest the king +should be offended that she did not go to him; at present + +Page 233 + +he was content, because he conceived her to be nursing for her +illness. + +But what a situation for her! She would not let me leave her +now; she made me remain In the room, and ordered me to sit down. +I was too trembling to refuse. Lady Elizabeth soon joined us. +We all three stayed with her; she frequently bid me listen, to +hear what the king was saying or doing. I did, and carried the +best accounts I could manage, without deviating from truth, +except by some omissions. Nothing could be so afflicting as this +task; even now, it brings fresh to my ear his poor exhausted +voice. "I am nervous," he cried; "I am not ill, but I am +nervous: if you would know what is the matter with me, I am +nervous. But I love you both very well; if you would tell me +truth: I love Dr. Heberden best, for he has not told me a lie: +Sir George has told me a lie--a white lie, he says, but I hate a +white lie. If you will tell me a lie, let it be a black lie!" + +This was what he kept saying almost constantly, mixed in with +other matter, but always returning, and in a voice that truly +will never cease vibrating in my recollection. + +The queen permitted me to make her breakfast and attend her, and +was so affectingly kind and gentle in her distress, that I felt a +tenderness of sorrow for her that almost devoted my whole mind to +her alone! Miss Goldsworthy was a fixture at her side; I, +therefore, provided her breakfast also. + +Lady Elizabeth was sent out on inquiries of Colonel Goldsworthy, +and Mr. Batterscomb, and the pages, every ten minutes; while I, +at the same intervals, was ordered to listen to what passed in +the room, and give warning if anything seemed to threaten another +entrance. . . . + +The queen bid me bring the prayer book and read the morning +service to her. I could hardly do it, the poor voice from the +next room was so perpetually in my ears. + +When I came to my room, about twelve o'clock, for some breakfast, +I found a letter from Lady Carmarthen. It was an answer to my +congratulation upon her marriage, and written with honest +happiness and delight. She frankly calls herself the luckiest of +all God's creatures ; and this, if not elegant, is sincere, and I +hope will be permanently her opinion. + +While swallowing my breakfast, standing and in haste, and the +door ajar, I heard Mr. Fairly's voice, saying, "Is Miss Burney +there? is she alone?" and then he sent in Columb, to inquire if +he might come and ask me how I did. + +Page 234 +I received him with as much gladness as I could then feel, but it +was a melancholy reception. I consulted with him upon many +points in which I wanted counsel : he is quick and deep at once +in expedients where anything, is to be done, and simple and clear +in explaining himself where he thinks it is best to do nothing. +Miss Goldsworthy herself had once stolen out to Consult with him. +He became, indeed, for all who belonged to the queen, from this +moment the oracle. + + + THE KING REFUSES TO SEE DR. WARREN. + +Dr. Warren(299) had been sent for express, in the middle of the +night, at the desire of Sir George Baker, because he had been +taken ill himself, and felt unequal to the whole toll. + +I returned speedily to the room of woe. The arrival of the +physicians was there grievously awaited, for Dr. Heberden and +Sir George would now decide upon nothing till Dr. Warren came. +The poor queen wanted something very positive to pass, relative +to her keeping away, which seemed thought essential at this time, +though the courage to assert it was wanting In everybody. + +The princesses sent to ask leave to come to their mother. She +burst into tears, and declared she could neither see them, nor +pray, while in this dreadful situation, expecting every moment to +be broken in upon, and quite uncertain in what manner, yet +determined not to desert her apartment, except by express +direction from the physicians. Who could tell to what height the +delirium might rise? There was no constraint, no power: all +feared the worst, yet none dared take any measures for security. + +The princes also sent word they were at her majesty's command, +but she shrunk still more from this Interview: it filled her with +a thousand dreadful sensations, too obvious to be wholly hid. + +At length news was brought that Dr. Warren was arrived. I never +felt so rejoiced: I could have run out to welcome him with +rapture. With what cruel impatience did we then wait to hear his +sentence! An impatience how fruitless! It ended in information +that he had not seen the king, who refused him admittance. + +Page 235 + +This was terrible. But the king was never so despotic; no one +dared oppose him. He would not listen to a word, though, when +unopposed, he was still all gentleness and benignity to every one +around him. Dr. Warren was then planted where he could hear his +voice, and all that passed, and receive Intelligence concerning +his pulse, etc., from Sir George Baker. + + + + THE QUEEN'S ANXIETY TO HEAR DR. WARREN'S OPINION. +We now expected every moment Dr. Warren would bring her majesty +his opinion ; but he neither came nor sent. She waited in dread +incessant. She sent for Sir George--he would not speak alone: +she sent for Mr. Hawkins, the household surgeon; but all referred +to Dr. Warren. + +Lady Elizabeth and Miss Goldsworthy earnestly pressed her to +remove to a more distant apartment, where he might not hear the +unceasing voice of the unhappy king ; but she would only rise and +go to the 'little dressing-room, there to wait in her +night-clothes Dr. Warren's determination what step she should +take. + +At length Lady Elizabeth learnt among the pages that Dr. Warren +had quitted his post of watching. The poor queen now, in a +torrent of tears, prepared herself for seeing him. + +He came not. + +All astonished and impatient, Lady Elizabeth was sent out on +inquiries. She returned, and said Dr. Warren was gone. + +"Run! stop him!" was the queen's next order. "Let him but let me +know what I am to do." + +Poor, poor queen! how I wept to hear those words! + +Abashed and distressed, poor Lady Elizabeth returned. She had +seen Colonel Goldsworthy, and heard Dr. Warren, -with the other +two physicians, had left the house too far to be recalled they +were gone over to the Castle, to the Prince of Wales. + +I think a deeper blow I have never witnessed. Already to become +but second, even for the king! The tears were now wiped; +indignation arose, with pain, the severest pain, of every +species. + + + THE QUEEN REMOVES TO MORE DISTANT APARTMENTS. +In about a quarter of an hour Colonel Goldsworthy sent in to beg +an audience. It was granted, a long cloak only being thrown over +the queen. He now brought the opinion of all the physicians in +consultation, " That her majesty would re- +Page 236 + +move to a more distant apartment, since the king would +undoubtedly be worse from the agitation of seeing her, and there +Could be no possibility to prevent it while she remained so +near." + +She instantly agreed, but with what bitter anguish! Lady +Elizabeth, Miss Goldsworthy, and myself attended her; she went to +an apartment in the same row, but to which there Was no entrance +except by its own door. It consisted of only two rooms, a +bed-chamber and a dressing-room. They are appropriated to the +lady-in-waiting, when she is here. + +At the entrance into this new habitation the poor wretched queen +once more gave way to a perfect agony of grief and affliction; +while the words "What will become of me! What will become of me +! " uttered with the most piercing lamentation, struck deep and +hard into all our hearts. Never can I forget their desponding +sound ; they implied such complicated apprehensions. + +Instantly now the princesses were sent for. The three elder +hastened down. O, what a meeting! They all, from a habit that +has become a second nature, struggling to repress all outward +grief, though the queen herself, wholly overcome, wept even +aloud. They all went into the bedroom, and the queen made a +slight dressing, but only wore a close gauze cap, and her long +dressing gown, which is a dimity chemise. + +I was then sent back to the little dressing-room, for something +that was left; as I opened the door, I almost ran against a +gentleman close to it in the passage. + +"Is the queen here?" he cried, and I then saw the Prince of +Wales. + +"Yes," I answered, shuddering at this new scene for her "should I +tell her majesty your royal highness is here?" + +This I said lest he should surprise her. But he did not intend +that: he was profoundly respectful, and consented to wait at the +door while I went in, but called me back, as I turned away, to +add, "You will be so good to say I am come by her orders." + +She wept a deluge of tears when I delivered my commission, but +instantly admitted him. I then retreated. The other two ladies +went to Lady Elizabeth's room, which is next the queen's new +apartments. + +In the passage I was again stopped; it was by Mr. Fairly. I +would have hurried on, scarce able to speak, but he desired to +know how the queen did. "Very bad," was all I could say, + +Page 237 +and on I hastened to my own room, which, the next minute, I would +as eagerly have hastened to quit, from its distance from all that +was going forward ; but now once the prince had entered the +queen's rooms, I could go thither no more unsummoned. + +Miserable, lonely, and filled with dreadful conjectures, I +remained here till a very late dinner brought Miss Planta to the +dining-parlour, where I joined her. After a short and dismal +meal we immediately parted : she to wait in the apartments of the +princesses above-stairs, in case of being wanted; I to my own +solitary parlour. + +The Prince of Wales and Duke of York stayed here all the day, and +were so often in and out of the queen's rooms that no one could +enter them but by order. The same etiquette is observed when the +princes are with the queen as when the king is there-no +interruption whatever is made. I now, therefore, lost my only +consolation at this calamitous time, that of attending my poor +royal mistress. + + + A VISIT FROM MR. FAIRLY. + +Alone wholly, without seeing a human being, or gathering any, the +smallest intelligence of what was going forwards, I remained till +tea-time. Impatient then for information, I planted myself in +the eating-parlour; but no one came. Every minute seemed an +hour. I grew as anxious for the tea society as heretofore I had +been anxious to escape it; but so late it grew, and so hopeless, +that Columb came to propose bringing in the water. + +No; for I could swallow nothing voluntarily. + +In a few minutes he came again, and with the compliments of Mr. +Fairly, who desired him to tell me he would wait Upon me to tea +whenever I pleased. + +A little surprised at this single message, but most truly +rejoiced, I returned my compliments, with an assurance that all +time was the same to me. He came directly, and indeed his very +sight, at this season of still horror and silent suspense, was a +repose to my poor aching eyes. + +"You will see," he said, "nobody else. The physicians being now +here, Colonel Goldsworthy thought it right to order tea for the +whole party in the music-room, which we have now agreed to make +the general waiting-room for us all. It is near the king, and we +ought always to be at hand." +Page 238 + +Our tea was very sad. He gave me no hope Of a short seizure ; he +saw it, in perspective, as long as it was dreadful : perhaps even +worse than long, he thought it--but that he said not. He related +to me the whole of the day's transactions, but my most dear and +most honourable friends will be the first to forgive me when I +promise that I shall commit nothing to paper on this terrible +event that is told me in confidence. + +He did not stay long--he did not think it right to leave his +waiting friends for any time, nor could I wish it, valued as I +know he is by them all, and much as they need his able counsel. +He left me plunged in a deep gloom, yet he was not gloomy +himself; he sees evils as things of course, and bears them, +therefore, as things expected. But he was tenderly touched for +the poor queen and the princesses. + + + THE KING'S NIGHT WATCHERS. + +Not till one in the morning did I see another face, and then I +attended my poor unhappy queen. She was now fixed in her new +apartments, bed-room and dressing-room, and stirred not a step +but from one to the other. Fortunately all are upon the +ground-floor, both for king and queen; so are the two Lady +Waldegraves' and mine; the princesses and Miss Planta, as usual, +are upstairs, and the gentlemen lodge above them. + +Miss Goldsworthy had now a bed put up in the queen's new +bed-room. She had by no means health to go on sitting up, and it +had been the poor king's own direction that she should remain +with the queen. It was settled that Mrs. Sandys and Mrs. +Macenton should alternately sit up in the dressing-room. + +The queen would not permit me to take that office, though most +gladly I would have taken any that would have kept me about her. +But she does; not think my strength sufficient. She allowed me +however to stay with her till she was in bed, which I had never +done till now; I never, indeed, had even seen her in her bed-room +till the day before. She has always had the kindness and +delicacy, to dismiss me from her dressing-room as soon as I have +assisted her with her night-clothes; the wardrobe-woman then was +summoned, and I regularly +made my courtesy. it was a satisfaction to me, however, now to +leave her the last, and to come to her the first. + +Her present dressing-room is also her dining-room, her + +Page 239 + +drawing-room, her sitting-room; she has nothing else but her +bed-room! + +I left her with my fervent prayers for better times, and saw her +nearer to composure than I had believed possible in such a +calamity. She called to her aid her religion, and without it +what, indeed, must have become of her? It was near two in the +morning when I quitted her. + +In passing through the dressing-room to come away, I found Miss +Goldsworthy in some distress how to execute a commission of the +queen's: it was to her brother, who was to sit up in a room +adjoining to the king's ; and she was undressed, and knew not how +to go to him, as the princes were to and fro everywhere. I +offered to call him to her she thankfully accepted the proposal. +I cared not, just then, whom I encountered, so I could make +myself of any use. + +When I gently opened the door of the apartment to which I was +directed, I found it was quite filled with gentlemen and +attendants, arranged round it on chairs and sofas in dead +silence. It was a dreadful start, with which I retreated; for +anything more alarming and shocking could not be conceived! the +poor king within another door, unconscious any one was near him, +and thus watched, by dread necessity, at such an hour of the +night! I pronounced the words "Colonel Goldsworthy," however, +before I drew back, though I could not distinguish one gentleman +from another, except the two princes, by their stars. + +I waited in the next room; but instead of Colonel Goldsworthy, my +call was answered by Mr. Fairly. I acquainted him with my +errand. He told me he had himself insisted that Colonel +Goldsworthy should go to bed, as he had sat up all the preceding +night and he had undertaken to supply his place. + +I went back to Miss Goldsworthy with this account. She begged me +to entreat Mr. Fairly would come to her, as she must now make the +commission devolve on him, and could less than ever appear, +herself, as they were all assembled in such a party. + +Mr. Fairly, most considerately, had remained in this quiet room +to see if anything more might be wanted, which spared me the +distress of again intruding into the public room. I begged him +to follow, and we were proceeding to the dressing-room, when I +was stopped by a gentleman, who said, "Does the queen want +anybody?" + +Page 240 + +It was the Prince of Wales. "Not the queen, sir," I answered, " +but Miss Goldsworthy, has desired to see Mr. Fairly." + +He let me pass, but stopped Mr. Fairly; and, as he seemed +inclined to detain him some time, I only told Miss Goldsworthy +what had retarded him, and made off to my own room, and soon +after two o'clock, I believe, I was in bed. + + + A CHANGE IN MISS BURNEYs DUTIES. + +Friday, Nov. 7.-I was now arrived at a sort of settled regularity +of life more melancholy than can possibly be described. I rose +at six, dressed, and hastened to the queen's apartments, +uncalled, and there waited in silence and in the dark till I +heard her move or speak with Miss Goldsworthy, and then presented +myself to the sad bedside of the unhappy queen. She sent Miss +Goldsworthy early every morning, to make inquiry what sort of +night his majesty had passed; and in the middle of the night she +commonly Also sent for news by the wardrobe-woman, or Miss +Macenton, whichever sat up. + +She dismissed Miss Goldsworthy, on my arrival, to dress herself. +Lady Elizabeth Waldegrave accommodated her with her own room for +that purpose. I had then a long conference with this most +patient sufferer - and equal forbearance and quietness during a +period of suspensive unhappiness never have I seen, never could I +have imagined. + +At noon now I never saw her, which I greatly regretted but she +kept on her dressing-gown all day, and the princes were +continually about the passages, so that no one unsummoned dared +approach the queen's apartments. It was only therefore at night +and morning I could see her - but my heart was with her the +livelong day. And how long, good heaven! how long that day +became! Endless I used to think it, for +nothing could I do--to wait and to watch--starting at every +sound, yet revived by every noise. + + MR. FAIRLY SUCCEEDS IN SOOTHING THE KING. +While I was yet with my poor royal sufferer this morning the +Prince of Wales came hastily into the room. He apologized for +his intrusion, and then gave a very energetic history of the +preceding night. It had been indeed most affectingly dreadful ! +The king had risen in the middle of the night, and + +Page 241 + +would take no denial to walking into the next room. There he saw +the large congress I have mentioned : amazed and in +consternation, he demanded what they did there--Much followed +that I have heard since, particularly the warmest éloge on his +dear son Frederick--his favourite, his friend. "Yes," he cried, +"Frederick is my friend!" and this son was then present amongst +the rest, but not seen! + +Sir George Baker was there, and was privately exhorted by the +gentlemen + +to lead the king back to his room; but he had not courage: +he attempted only to speak, and the king penned him in a corner, +told him he was a mere old woman--that he wondered he had ever +followed his advice, for he knew nothing of his complaint, which +was only nervous! + +The Prince of Wales, by signs and whispers, would have urged +others to have drawn him away, but no one dared approach him, and +he remained there a considerable time. "Nor do I know when he +would have been got back," continued the prince, "if at last Mr. +Fairly had not undertaken him. I am extremely obliged to Mr. +Fairly indeed. He came boldly up to him, and took him by the arm, +and begged him to go to bed, and then drew him along, and +said he must go. Then he said he would not, and cried 'Who are +you?' 'I am Mr. Fairly, sir,' he answered, 'and your majesty has +been very good to me often, and now I am going to be very good to +you, for you must come to bed, sir: it is necessary to your +life.' And then he was so surprised, that he let himself be +drawn along just like a child; and so they got him to bed. I +believe else he would have stayed all night. + +Mr. Fairly has had some melancholy experience in a case of this +sort, with a very near connexion of his own. How fortunate +he was present! + + + NEW ARRANGEMENTS. + +At noon I had the most sad pleasure of receiving Mr. and Mrs. +Smelt. They had heard in York of the illness of the king, and had +travelled -post to Windsor. Poor worthy, excellent couple!--Ill +and infirm, what did they not suffer from an attack like this--so +wonderfully unexpected upon a patron so adored! + +They wished the queen to be acquainted with their arrival, yet +would not let me risk meeting the princes in carrying the news. +Mr. Smelt I saw languished to see his king: he was + +Page 242 + +persuaded he might now repay a part of former benefits, and he +wished to be made his page during his illness, that he might +watch and attend him hourly. + +I had had a message in the morning by Mr. Gorton, the clerk of +the kitchen, to tell me the Prince of Wales wished our +dining-parlour to be appropriated to the physicians, both for +their dinner and their consultations. I was therefore obliged to +order dinner for Miss Planta, and myself in my own +Sitting-parlour, which was now unmaterial, as the equerries did +not come to tea, but continued +altogether in the music-room. + +In the evening, of course, came Mr. Fairly, but then it was only +to let me know it would be of course no longer. He then rang the +bell for my tea-urn, finding I had waited, though he 0 declined +drinking tea with me; but he sat down, and staved half an hour, +telling me the long story he had promised which Was a full detail +of the terrible preceding night. The transactions of the day +also he related to me, and the designs for the future. How +alarming were they all! yet many particulars, he said, he +omitted, merely because they were yet more affecting, and could +be dwelt upon to no purpose. + + + THE PRINCESS AUGUSTA'S BIRTHDAY. + +Saturday, Nov. 8-This was, if possible, the saddest day yet +passed: it was the birthday of Princess Augusta, and Mrs. Siddons +had been invited to read a play, and a large party of company to +form the audience. What a contrast from such an intention was +the event! + +When I went, before seven o'clock in the morning, to my most +unhappy royal mistress, the princes were both in the room. I +retreated to the next apartment till they had finished their +conference. The Prince of Wales upon these occasions has always +been extremely well-bred and condescending in his manner, which, +in a situation such as mine, is no immaterial circumstance. + +The poor queen then spoke to me of the birthday present she had +designed for her most amiable daughter. She hesitated a little +whether or not to produce it, but at length meekly said, "Yes, go +to Miss Planta and bring it. Do you think there can be any harm +in giving it now?" + +"O, no!" I said, happy to encourage whatever was a little less +gloomy, and upstairs I flew. I was met by all the poor +princesses and the Duke of York, who inquired if he might go + +Page 243 + +again to the queen. I begged leave first to execute my +commission. I did; but so engrossed was my mind with the whole +of this living tragedy, that I so little noticed what it was I +carried as to be now unable to recollect it. I gave it, however, +to the queen, who then sent for the princesses, and carried her +gift to her daughter, weeping, who received it with a silent +courtesy, kissing and wetting with her gentle tears the hand of +her afflicted mother. + + + STRANGE BEHAVIOUR OF THE FIRST GENTLEMAN IN EUROPE. +During my mournful breakfast poor Mr. Smelt arrived from Kew, +where he had now settled himself. Mr. de Luc also joined us, and +they could neither prevail upon themselves to go away all the +morning. Mr. Smelt had some thoughts of taking up his abode in +Windsor till the state of things should be more decisive. The +accounts of the preceding night had been most cruel, and to quit +the spot was scarce supportable to him. Yet he feared the +princes might disapprove his stay, and he well knew his influence +and welcome at Court was all confined to the sick-room: thence, +there could now issue no mandate. + +Yet I encouraged him to stay; so did Mr. de Luc; and while he was +still wavering he saw Dr. Warren in the courtyard, and again +hastened to speak with him. Before he returned the Prince of +Wales went out and met him; and you may imagine how much I was +pleased to observe from the window that he took him by the arm, +and walked up and down with him. + +When he came to us he said the prince had told him he had better +stay, that he might see the queen. He determined, therefore, to +send off an express to Mrs. Smelt, and go and secure an apartment +at the inn. This was very soothing to me, who so much needed +just such consolation as he could bestow - and I begged he would +come back to dinner, and spend the whole day in my room, during +his stay. + +What, however, was my concern and amaze, when, soon after, +hastily returning, he desired to speak to me alone, and, as Mr. +de Luc moved off, told me he was going back immediately to Kew! +He spoke with a tremor that alarmed me. I entreated to know why +such a change? He then informed +me that the porter, Mr. Humphreys, had refused him re-entrance, +and sent him his great coat ! He had resented this + +Page 244 + +impertinence, and was told it was by the express order of the +prince! In utter astonishment he then only desired admittance +for one moment to my room, and having acquainted me with this +circumstance, he hurried off, in a state of distress, and +indignation that left me penetrated with both. + +>From this time, as the poor king grew worse, general hope seemed +universally to abate; and the Prince of Wales now took the +government of the house into his own hands. Nothing was done but +by his orders, and he was applied to in every difficulty. The +queen interfered not in anything - she lived entirely in her two +new rooms, and spent the whole day in patient sorrow and +retirement with her daughters. + + + + STRINGENT NEW REGULATIONS. + +The next news that reached me, through Mr. de Luc, was, that the +prince had sent his commands to the porter, to admit only four +persons into the house on any pretence whatever these were Mr. +Majendie, Mr. Turbulent, General Harcourt, and Mr. de Luc +himself; and these were ordered to repair immediately to the +equerry-room below stairs, while no one whatsoever was to be +allowed to go to any other apartment. + +>From this time commenced a total banishment from all intercourse +out of the house, and an unremitting confinement within its +walls. + +Poor Mr. de Luc, however, could not forego coming to my room. He +determined to risk that, since he was upon the list of those who +might enter the house. I was glad, because he is a truly good +man, and our sentiments upon this whole melancholy business were +the same. But otherwise, the weariness of a great length of +visit daily from a person so slow and methodical in discourse, so +explanatory of everything and of nothing, at this agitating +period, was truly painful to endure. He has often talked to me +till my poor burthened head has seemed lost to all understanding. + +I had now, all tea-meetings being over, no means of gaining any +particulars of what was passing, which added so much to the +horror of the situation, that by the evening I was almost +petrified. Imagine, then, alike my surprise and satisfaction at +a visit from Mr. Fairly. He had never come to me so +unexpectedly. I eagerly begged an account of what was going on, +and, with his usual readiness and accuracy, he gave it me in full +detail. And nothing could be more tragic than all the + +Page 245 + +particulars every species of evil seemed now hanging over this +unhappy family. + +He had had his son with him in his room upstairs; "And I had a +good mind," he said, "to have brought him to visit YOU." + +I assured him he would have been a very welcome guest; and when +he added that he could no longer have him at the Equerry table to +dinner, as the Prince of Wales now presided there, I invited him +for the next day to mine. + +He not only instantly accepted the proposal, but cried, with +great vivacity, "I wish you would invite me too." + +I thought he was laughing, but said, "Certainly, if such a thing +might be allowed;" and then, to my almost speechless surprise, he +declared, If I would give him permission, he would dine with me +next day. +He then proceeded to say that the hurry, and fatigue, and violent +animal spirits of the other table quite overpowered him, and a +respite of such a quiet sort would be of essential service to +him. Yet he paused a little afterwards, upon the propriety of +leaving the Prince of Wales's table, and said "He would first +consult with General Budé, and hear his opinion." +Sunday, Nov. 9.-No one went to church - not a creature now quits +the house: but I believe devotion never less required the aid and +influence of public worship. For me, I know, I spent almost my +whole time between prayer and watching. Even my melancholy +resource, my tragedy, was now thrown aside ; misery so actual, +living, and present, was knit too closely around me to allow my +depressed imagination to fancy any woe beyond what my heart felt. + +In coming early from the queen's apartment this morning I was +addressed by a gentleman who inquired how I did, by my name; but +my bewilderment made him obliged to tell his own before I could +recollect him. It was Dr. Warren. + +I eagerly expressed my hopes and satisfaction in his attendance +upon the poor king, but he would not enter upon that subject. I +suppose he feared, from my zeal, some indiscreet questions +concerning his opinion of the case; for he passed by all I could +start, to answer only with speeches relative to myself-of his +disappointment in never meeting me, though residing under the +same roof, his surprise in not dining with me when told he was to +dine in my room, and the strangeness of never seeing me when so +frequently he heard my name. + +I could not bring myself to ask him to my apartment, when + +Page 246 + +I saw, by his whole manner, e held it imprudent to speak with me +about the only subject on which I wished to talk--the king; and +just then seeing the Duke of York advancing, I hastily retreated. + +While I was dressing, Mr. Fairly rapped at my door. I sent out +Goter, who brought me his compliments, and, if it would not be +inconvenient to me, he and his son would have the pleasure of +dining with me. + +I answered, I should be very glad of their company, as would Miss +Planta. Miss Goldsworthy had now arranged herself with the Lady +Waldegraves. + +Our dinner was as pleasant as a dinner at such a season could be. +Mr. Fairly holds cheerfulness as a duty in the midst of every +affliction that can admit it; and, therefore,, whenever his +animal spirits have a tendency to rise, he encourages and +sustains them, So fond, too, is he of his son, that his very +sight is a cordial to him - and that mild, feeling, amiable boy +quite idolizes his father, looking up to him, hanging on his arm, +and watching his eye to smile and be smiled upon, with a fondness +like that of an infant to its maternal nurse. + +Repeatedly Mr. Fairly exclaimed, "What a relief is this, to dine +thus quietly!" + +What a relief should I, too, have found it, but for a little +circumstance, which I will soon relate, + + + MRS. SCHWELLENBERG IS BACK AGAIN. + +We were still at table, with the dessert, when Columb entered and +announced the sudden return from Weymouth of Mrs. Schwellenberg. + +Up we all started; Miss Planta flew out to receive her, and state +the situation of the house; Mr. Fairly, expecting, I believe, she +was coming into my room, hastily made his exit without a word; +his son eagerly scampered after him, and I followed Miss Planta +upstairs. +My reception, however, was such as to make me deem it most proper +to again return to my room. What an addition this to the gloom +of all ! and to begin at once with harshness and rudeness! I +could hardly tell how to bear it. + +Nov. 10.-This was a most dismal day. The dear and most suffering +king was extremely ill, the queen very wretched, poor Mrs. +Schwellenberg all spasm and horror, Miss Planta all restlessness, +the house all mystery, and my only informant and + +Page 247 + +comforter distanced. Not a word, the whole day through, did I +hear of what was passing or intending. Our dinner was worse than +an almost famished fasting; we parted after it, and met no more. +Mrs. Schwellenberg, who never drinks tea herself, hearing the +general party was given up, and never surmising there had ever +been any particular one, neither desired me to come to her, nor +proposed returning to me. She took possession of the poor +queen's former dressing-room, and between that and the adjoining +apartments she spent all the day, except during dinner. + +Nov. 11.-This day passed like the preceding; I only saw her +majesty in the morning, and not another human being from that +hour till Mrs. Schwellenberg and Miss Planta came to dinner. Nor +could I then gather any information of the present state of +things, as Mrs. Schwellenberg announced that nothing must be +talked of. + +To give any idea of the dismal horror of passing so many hours in +utter ignorance, where every interest of the mind was sighing for +intelligence, would not be easy: the experiment alone could give +it its full force; and from that, Heaven ever guard my loved +readers! + +Nov. 12.-To-day a little brightened upon us some change appeared +in the loved royal sufferer, and though it was not actually for +the better in itself, yet any change was pronounced to be +salutary, as, for some days pas'' there had been a monotonous +continuation of the same bad symptoms, that had doubly depressed +us all. My spirits rose immediately ; indeed, I thank God, I +never desponded, though many times I stood nearly alone in my +hopes. + +In the passage, in the morning, I encountered Colonel Gwynn. I +had but just time to inform him I yet thought all would do well, +ere the princes appeared. All the equerries are now here except +Major Garth, who is ill; and they have all ample employment in +watching and waiting. From time to time they have all +interviews; but it is only because the poor king will not be +denied seeing them: it is not thought light. But I must enter +into nothing of this sort-it is all too closely connected with +private domestic concerns for paper. +After dinner, my chief guest, la Présidente, told me, " If my +room was not so warm, she would stay a little with me." I felt +this would be rather too superlative an obligation; and therefore +I simply answered that "I was too chilly to sit in a + +Page 248 + +cold room;" and I confess I took no pains to temper it according +to this hint. + + + +PUBLIC PRAYERS FOR THE KING DECIDED UPON. + +Finding there was now no danger Of disagreeable interviews, Mr. +Fairly renewed his visits as usual. He came early this evening, +and narrated the state of things; and then, with a laugh, he +Inquired What I had done With my head companion, and how I got +rid of her? I fairly told him my malice about the temperature. + +He could not help laughing, though he instantly remonstrated +against an expedient that might prove prejudicial to my health. +"You had better not," he cried, "try any experiments of this +sort: if you hurt Your nerves, it may prove a permanent evil; +this other can only be temporary." + +He took up the "Task" again; but he opened, by ill luck, upon +nothing striking or good; and soon, with distaste, flung the book +down, and committed himself wholly to conversation. + +He told me he wished much he had been able to consult with me on +the preceding morning, when he had the queen's orders to write, +in her majesty's name, to the Archbishop of Canterbury, to issue +out public prayers for the poor king, for all the churches. + +I assured him I fancied it might do very well without my aid. +There was to be a privy council summoned, in consequence of the +letter, to settle the mode of compliance. + +How right a step in my ever-right royal mistress is this! If you +hear less of her now, my dearest friends, and of the internal +transactions, it is only because I now rarely saw her but alone, +and all that passed, therefore, was in promised confidence. And, +for the rest, the whole of my information concerning the princes, +and the plans and the proceedings of the house, was told me in +perfect reliance on my secrecy and honour. + +I know this is saying enough to the most honourable of all +confidants and friends to whom I am writing. All that passes +with regard to myself is laid completely before them. + +Nov. 13- This was the fairest day we have passed since the first +seizure of the most beloved of monarchs. He was considerably +better. O what a ray of joy lightened us, and how mildly did my +poor queen receive it + +Page 249 + +Nov. 14--Still all was greatly amended, and better +spirits reigned throughout the house. + +Mr. Fairly--I can write of no one else, for no one else did I +see--called early, to tell me he had received an answer relative +to the prayer for his majesty's recovery, in consequence of which +he had the queen's commands for going to town the next day, to +see the archbishop. This was an employment so suited to the +religious cast of his character, that I rejoiced to see it fall +into his hands. + +He came again in the evening, and said he had now got the prayer. +He did not entirely approve it, nor think it sufficiently warm +and animated. I petitioned to hear it, and he readily complied, +and read it with great reverence, but very unaffectedly and +quietly. I was very, very much touched by It ; yet not, I own, +quite so much as once before by another, which was read to me by +Mr. Cambridge, and composed by his son, for the sufferings of his +excellent daughter Catherine. It was at once so devout, yet so +concise--so fervent, yet so simple, and the many tender relations +concerned in it--father, brother, sister,--so powerfully affected +me, that I had no command over the feelings then excited, even +though Mr. Cambridge almost reproved me for want of fortitude; +but there was something so tender in a prayer of a brother for a +sister. + +Here, however, I was under better control - for though my whole +heart was filled with the calamitous state of this unhappy +monarch, and with deepest affliction for all his family, I yet +knew so well my reader was one to severely censure all failure in +calmness and firmness, that I struggled, and not ineffectually, +to hear him with a steadiness like his own. But, fortunately for +the relief of this force, he left the room for a few minutes to +see if he was wanted, and I made use of his absence to give a +little vent to those tears which I had painfully restrained in +his presence. + +When he returned we had one of the best (on his part) +conversations in which I have ever been engaged, upon the highest +and most solemn of all subjects, prayers and supplications to +heaven. He asked my opinion with earnestness, and gave his own +with unbounded openness. + +Nov. 15-This morning my poor royal mistress herself presented me +with one of the prayers for the king. I shall always keep it -- +how--how fervently did I use it! + +Whilst I was at breakfast Mr. Fairly once more called before he +set off for town and he brought me also a copy of the + +Page 250 + +prayer. He had received a large packet of them from the +archbishop, Dr. Moore, to distribute in the house. + +The whole day the king continued amended. + +Sunday, Nov. 16.-This morning I ventured out to church. I did +not like to appear abroad, but yet I had a most irresistible +earnestness to join the public congregation in the prayer for the +king. Indeed nothing could be more deeply moving: the very sound +of the cathedral service, performed in his own chapel, overset me +at once; and every prayer in the service in which he was +mentioned brought torrents of tears from all the suppliants that +joined in them. I could scarcely keep my place, scarce command +my voice from audible sobs. To come to the House of prayer from +such a house of woe! I ran away when the service was over, to +avoid inquiries. Mrs. Kennedy ran after me, with swollen eyes; I +could not refuse her a hasty answer, but I ran the faster after +it, to avoid any more. + +The king was worse. His night had been very bad ; all the fair +promise of amendment was shaken; he had now some symptoms even +dangerous to his life. O good heaven, what a day did this prove! +I saw not a human face, save at dinner and then, what faces! +gloom and despair in all, and silence to every species of +intelligence. . . . + +It was melancholy to see the crowds of former welcome visitors +who were now denied access. The prince reiterated his former +orders; and I perceived from my window those who had ventured to +the door returning back in deluges of tears. Amongst them to-day +I perceived poor Lady Effingham, the Duchess of Ancaster, and Mr. +Bryant ; the last sent me In, afterwards, a mournful little +letter, to which he desired no answer. Indeed I was not at +liberty to write a word. + + + SIR LuCAS PEPYS ON THE KING's CONDITION. + +Nov. 19.-The account of the dear king this morning was rather +better. + +Sir Lucas Pepys was now called in, and added to Dr. Warren, Dr. +Heberden, and Sir George Baker. I earnestly wished to see him, +and I found my poor royal mistress was secretly anxious to know +his opinion. I sent to beg to speak with him, as soon as the +consultation was over; determined, however, to make that request +no more if he was as shy of giving information as Dr. Warren, + +Page 251 + +poor Mr. de Luc was with me wen he came ; but it was +necessary I should see Sir Lucas alone, that I might have a +better claim upon his discretion : nevertheless I feared he would +have left me, without the smallest intelligence, before I was +able to make my worthy, but most slow companion comprehend the +necessity of his absence. + +The moment we were alone, Sir Lucas opened upon the subject in +the most comfortable manner. He assured me there was nothing +desponding in the case, and that his royal patient would +certainly recover, though not immediately. + +Whilst I was in the midst of the almost speechless joy with which +I heard this said, and ready to kiss the very feet of Sir Lucas +for words of such delight, a rap at my door made me open it to +Mr. Fairly, who entered, saying, "I must come to ask you how you +do, though I have no good news to bring you; but--" + +He then, with the utmost amaze, perceived Sir Lucas. In so very +many visits he had constantly found me alone, that I really +believe he had hardly thought it possible he should see me in any +other way. + +They then talked over the poor king's situation, and Sir Lucas +was very open and comforting. How many sad meetings have I had +with him heretofore ; first in the alarming attacks of poor Mr. +Thrale, and next in the agonizing fluctuations of his unhappy +widow! + +Sir Lucas wished to speak with me alone, as he had something he +wanted, through me, to communicate to the queen; but as he saw +Mr. Fairly not disposed to retire first, by his manner of saying +"Sir Lucas, you will find all the breakfast ready below stairs," +he made his bow, and said he would see me again. + +Mr. Fairly then informed me he was quite uneasy at the recluse +life led by the queen and the princesses, and that he was anxious +to prevail with them to take a little air, which must be +absolutely necessary to their health. He was projecting a scheme +for this purpose, which required the assistance of the Duke of +York, and he left me, to confer upon it with his royal highness, +promising to return and tell its success. + +Sir Lucas soon came back, and then gave me such unequivocal +assurances of the king's recovery, that the moment he left me I +flew to demand a private audience of the queen, that I might +relate such delightful prognostics. + +The Duke of York was with her, I waited in the passage, + +Page 252 + +where I met Lady Charlotte Finch, and tried what I could to +instil into her mind the hopes I entertained: this, however, was +not possible; a general despondency prevailed throughout the +house, and Lady Charlotte was infected by it very deeply. + +At length I gained admission and gave my account, which was most +meekly received by the most patient of sorrowers. + +At night came Mr. Fairly again; but, before he entered into any +narrations he asked "DO you expect Sir Lucas?" + +"No," I said, "he had been already." + +"I saw him rise early from table," he added, "and I thought he +was coming to YOU." + +He has taken no fancy to poor Sir Lucas, and would rather, +apparently, avoid meeting him. However, it is to me so essential +a comfort to hear his opinions, that I have earnestly entreated +to see him by every opportunity. + + + FURTHER CHANGES AT THE LODGE. + +The equerries now had their own table as usual, to which the +physicians were regularly invited, downstairs, and our +eating-party was restored. The princes established a table of +their own at the Castle, to which they gave daily invitations to +such as they chose, from time to time, to select from the Lodge. + +The noise of so large a party just under the apartment of the +queen occasioned this new regulation, which took place by her +majesty's own direction. + +Nov. 20.-Poor Miss Goldsworthy was now quite ill, and forced to +retire and nurse. No wonder, for she had suffered the worst sort +of fatigue, that of fearing to sleep, from the apprehension the +queen might speak, and want her. Lady Elizabeth Waldegrave now +took her place Of sleeping in the queen's room, but the office of +going for early intelligence how his majesty had passed the night +devolved upon me. + +Exactly at seven o'clock I now went to the queen's apartment - +Lady Elizabeth then rose and went to her own room to dress, and I +received the queen's commands for my inquiries. I could not, +however, go myself into the room where they assembled, which Miss +Goldsworthy, who always applied to her brother, had very properly +done : I sent in a message to beg to speak with General Bud, or +whoever could bring an account. + +Mr. Charles Hawkins came; he had sat up. O, how terrible a +narrative did he drily give of the night!--short, abrupt, + +Page 253 + +peremptorily bad, and indubitably hopeless! I did not dare +alter, but I greatly softened this relation, in giving it to my +poor queen. I had been, indeed, too much shocked by the hard way +in which I had been told it, to deliver it in the same manner; +neither did I, in my own heart, despair. + +I saw Sir Lucas afterwards, who encouraged all my more sanguine +opinions. He told me many new regulations had been made. His +majesty was to be kept as quiet as possible, and see only +physicians, except for a short and stated period in every day, +during which he might summon such among his gentlemen as he +pleased. + +Mr. Fairly came also early, and wrote and read letters of great +consequence relative to the situation of affairs ; and he told me +he was then to go to the king, who had refused his assent to the +new plan, and insisted upon seeing him when he came in from his +ride, which, to keep him a little longer quiet, they had made him +believe he was then taking. The gentlemen had agreed to be +within call alternately, and he meant to have his own turn always +in the forenoon, that his evenings might have some chance for +quiet, The rest of the day was comfortless; my coadjutrix was now +grown so fretful and affronting that, though we only met at +dinner, it was hard to support her most unprovoked harshness. + + + + MR. FAIRLY AND THE LEARNED LADIES. + +At night, while I was just sealing a short note to my dear Miss +Cambridge, who had an anxiety like that of my own Susan and Fredy +lest I should suffer from my present fatigues, I heard the +softest tap at my door, which, before I could either put down my +letter or speak, was suddenly but most gently opened. + +I turned about and saw a figure wrapped up in a great, coat, with +boots and a hat on, who cautiously entered, and instantly closed +the door. I stared, and looked very hard, but the face was much +hid by the muffling of the high collar to the great coat. I +wondered, and could not conceive who it could be. The figure +then took off his hat and bowed, but he did not advance, and the +light was away from him. I courtsied, and wondered more, and +then a surprised voice exclaimed, "Don't you know me?" and I +found it was Mr. Fairly. + +"I cannot," he said, "stop now, but I will come again; however, +you know it, perhaps, already? + +Page 254 + +"Know what?" + +"Why--the--news." + +"What news?" + +"Why--that the king is much better, and--" + +"Yes, Sir Lucas said so, but I have seen nobody since." + +"No? And have you heard nothing more?" + +"Nothing at all; I cannot guess what you mean." + +"What, then, have not you heard--how Much the king has talked? +And--and have not you heard the charge." + +"No; I have heard not a word of any charge." + +"Why, then, I'll tell you." + +A long preamble, uttered very rapidly, of "how much the king had +been talking," seemed less necessary to introduce his +intelligence than to give him time to arrange it; and I was so +much struck with this, that I could not even listen to him, from +impatience to have him proceed. + +Suddenly, however, breaking off, evidently from not knowing how +to go on, he exclaimed, "Well, I shall tell it you all by and by; +you come in for your share!" + +Almost breathless now with amaze, I could hardly cry, + +"Do I?" + +"Yes, I'll tell you," cried he; but again he stopped, and, +hesitatingly, said, "You--you won't be angry?" + +"No," I answered, still more amazed, and even almost terrified, +at what I had now to expect. + +"Well, then," cried he, instantly resuming his first gay and +rapid manner, "the king has been calling them all to order for +staying so long away from him. 'All the equerries and gentlemen +here,' he said, 'lost their whole time at the table, by drinking +so much wine and sitting so long over their bottle, which +constantly made them all so slow in returning to their waiting, +that when he wanted them in the afternoon they were never ready; +and-and-and Mr. Fairly,' says he, 'is as bad as any of them; not +that he stays so long at table, or is so fond of wine, but he's +just as late as the rest; for he's so fond of the company of +learned ladies, that he gets to the tea-table with Miss Burney, +and there he stays and spends his whole time.'" + +He spoke all this like the velocity of lightning- but, had it +been with the most prosing slowness, I had surely never +interrupted him, so vexed I was, so surprised, so completely +disconcerted. Finding me silent, he began again, and as rapidly +as ever; "I know exactly," he cried, "what it all means--what + +Page 255 +the king has in his head--exactly what has given rise to the +idea--'tis Miss Fuzilier." + +Now, indeed, I stared afresh, little expecting to hear her named +by him. He went on in too much hurry for me to recollect his +precise words, but he spoke of her very highly, and mentioned her +learning, her education, and her acquirements, with great praise, +yet with that sort of general commendation that disclaims all +peculiar interest; and then, with some degree of displeasure +mixed in his voice, mentioned the report that had been spread +concerning- them, and its having reached the ears of the king +before his Illness. He then lightly added something I could not +completely hear, of its utter falsehood, in a way that seemed to +hold even a disavowal too important for it, and then concluded +with saying, "And this in the present confused state of his mind +is altogether, I know, what he means by the learned ladies." + +When he had done he looked earnestly for my answer, but finding I +made none, he said, with some concern, "You won't think any more +of it?" + +"No," I answered, rather faintly. + +In a lighter manner then, as if to treat the whole as too light +for a thought, he said, as he was leaving the room to change his +dress, "Well, since I have now got the character of being so fond +of such company, I shall certainly"--he stopped short, evidently +at a loss how to go on; but quickly after, with a laugh, he +hastily added, "come and drink tea with you very often;" and +then, with another laugh, which he had all to himself, he hurried +away. + +He left me, however, enough to think upon and the predominant +thought was an immediate doubt whether or not, since his visits +had reached the king, his majesty's observation upon them ought +to stop their continuance? + +Upon the whole, however, when I summed up all, I found not cause +sufficient for any change of system. No raillery had passed upon +me; and, for him, he had stoutly evinced a determined contempt of +it. Nothing of flirtation had been mentioned for either; I had +merely been called a learned lady, and he had merely been accused +Of liking such company. I had no other social comfort left me +but Mr. Fairly, and I had discomforts past all description or +suggestion. Should I drive him from me, what would pay me, and +how had he deserved it? and which way could it be worth while? +His friendship offered me a solace without hazard; it was held +out to me +Page 256 + +when all else was denied me; banished from every friend, confined +almost to a state of captivity, harrowed to the very soul with +surrounding afflictions, and without a glimpse of light as to +when or how all might terminate, it seemed to me, in this +situation, that providence had benignly sent in my way a +character of so much worth and excellence, to soften the rigour +of my condition, by kind sympathy and most honourable confidence. + +This idea was sufficient; and I thence determined to follow as he +led, in disdaining any further notice, or even remembrance, if +possible, of this learned accusation. + +Nov. 21.-All went better and better to-day, and I received from +the king's room a more cheering account to carry to my poor +queen. We had now hopes of a speedy restoration : + +the king held long conferences with all his gentlemen, and, +though far from composed, was so frequently rational as to- make +any resistance to his will nearly impossible. Innumerable +difficulties attended this state, but the general promise it gave +of a complete recovery recompensed them all. + +Sir Lucas Pepys came to me in the morning and acquainted me with +the rising hopes of amendment. But he disapproved the admission +of so many gentlemen, and would have limited the license to only +the equerry in waiting, Colonel Goldsworthy, and Mr. Fairly, who +was now principal throughout the house, in universal trust for +his superior judgment. + +The king, Sir Lucas said, now talked of everybody and everything +he could recollect or suggest. + +So I have heard, thought I. + +And, presently after, he added, "No one escapes; you will have +your turn." + +Frightened lest he knew I had had it, I eagerly exclaimed, "O, +no; I hope not." + +"And why?" cried he, good-humouredly; "what need you care? He can +say no harm of you." + +I ventured then to ask if yet I had been named? He believed not +yet. + +This doubled my curiosity to know to whom the "learned ladies" +had been mentioned, and whether to Mr. Fairly himself, or to +someone who related it; I think the latter, but there is no way +to inquire. + +Very early in the evening I heard a rap at my door. I was in my +inner room, and called out, "Who's there?" The door opened and +Mr, Fairly appeared. + +Page 257 + +He had been so long in attendance this morning with our poor sick +monarch, that he was too much fatigued to join the dinner-party. +He had stood five hours running, besides the concomitant +circumstances of attention. He had instantly laid down when he +procured his dismission, and had only risen to eat some cold +chicken before he came to my room. During that repast he had +again been demanded, but he charged the gentleman to make his +excuse, as he could go through nothing further. + +I hope the king did not conclude him again with the learned; This +was the most serene, and even cheerful evening,, I had passed +since the poor king's first seizure. + + + + REPORTS ON THE KING'S CONDITION. + +Nov. 22.-When I went for my morning inquiries, Colonel Manners +came out to me. He could give me no precise account, as the +sitters-up had not yet left the king, but he feared the night had +been bad. We mutually bewailed the mournful state of the house. +He is a very good creature at heart, though as unformed as if he +had just left Eton or Westminster. But he loves his master with +a true and faithful heart, and is almost as ready to die as to +live for him, if any service of that risk was proposed to him. + +While the queen's hair was dressing, though only for a close cap, +I was sent again. Colonel Manners came out to me, and begged I +would enter the music-room, as Mr. Keate, the surgeon, had now +just left the king, and was waiting to give me an account before +he laid down. + +I found him in his night-cap: he took me up to a window, and gave +me but a dismal history : the night had been very unfavourable, +and the late amendment very transient. I heard nothing further +till the evening, when my constant companion came to me. All, he +said, was bad: he had been summoned and detained nearly all the +morning, and had then rode to St. Leonard's to get a little rest, +as he would not return till after dinner. + +He had but just begun his tea when his name was called aloud in +the passage: up he started, seized his hat, and with a hasty bow, +decamped. I fancy it was one of the princes; and the more, as he +did not come back. + +Sunday, Nov. 23.-A sad day this! I was sent as usual for + +Page 258 + +the night account, which I had given to me by Mr. Fairly, and a +very dismal one indeed. Yet I never, upon this point, yield +implicitly to his opinion, as I see him frequently of the +despairing side, and as for myself, I thank God, my hopes never +wholly fall. A certain faith in his final recovery has uniformly +supported my spirits from the beginning. . . + +In the evening, a small tap at my door, with, "Here I am again," +ushered in Mr. Fairly. He seemcd much hurried and disturbed, and +innately uncomfortable; and very soon he entered into a detail of +the situation of affairs that saddened me in the extreme. The +poor king was very ill indeed, and so little aware of his own +condition, that he would submit to no rule, and chose to have +company with him from morning till night, sending out for the +gentlemen one after another without intermission, and chiefly for +Mr. Fairly, who, conscious it was hurtful to his majesty, and +nearly worn out himself, had now no chance of respite or escape +but by leaving the house and riding out. . . . + +I have never seen him so wearied, or so vexed, I know not which. +"How shall I rejoice," he cried, "when all this is over, and I +can turn my back to this scene!" + +I should rejoice, I said, for him when he could make his escape; +but his use here, in the whole round, is infinite; almost nothing +is done without consulting him. + +"I wish," he cried, while he was making some memorandums, "I +could live without sleep; I know not now how to spare my night." +He then explained to me various miscellaneous matters of +occupation, and confessed himself forced to break from the +confused scene of action as much as possible, where the tumult +and bustle were as overpowering, as the affliction, in the more +quiet apartments, was dejecting. Then, by implication, what +credit did he not give to my Poor still room, which he made me +understand was his only refuge and consolation in this miserable +house! + + + MR. FAIRLY THINKS THE KING NEEDS STRICTER MANAGEMENT. +Nov. 24.-Very bad again was the night's account, which +I received at seven o'clock this morning from Mr. DUndas. I +returned with it to my Poor royal mistress, who heard it with her +usual patience. + +Page 259 + +While I was still with her, Lady Elizabeth came with a +request from Mr. Fairly, for an audience before her majesty's +breakfast. As soon as she was ready she ordered me to tell Lady +Elizabeth to bring him. . . . + +Soon after,--with a hasty rap, came Mr. Fairly. He brought his +writing to my table, where I was trying to take off impressions +of plants. I Saw he meant to read me his letter; but before he +had finished it Lady Charlotte Finch came in search of him. It +was not for the queen, but herself; she wished to speak and +consult with him upon the king's seeing his children, which was +now his vehement demand. + +He was writing for one of the king's messengers, and could not +stop till he had done. Poor Lady Charlotte, overcome with +tenderness and compassion, wept the whole time he was at his pen; +and when he had put it down, earnestly remonstrated on the +cruelty of the present regulations, which debarred his majesty +the sight of the princesses. I joined with her, though more +firmly, believe me; my tears I suppress for my solitude. I have +enough of that to give them vent, and, with all my suppression, +my poor aching eyes can frequently scarce see one object from +another. + +When Mr. Fairly left off writing he entered very deeply into +argument with Lady Charlotte. He was averse to her request; he +explained the absolute necessity of strong measures, and of the +denial of dangerous indulgences, while the poor king was in this +wretched state. The disease, he said, was augmented by every +agitation, and the discipline of forced quiet was necessary till +he was capable of some reflection. At present he spoke +everything that occurred to him, and in a manner so wild, +unreasonable, and dangerous, with regard to future constructions, +that there could be no kindness so great to him as to suffer him +only to see those who were his requisite attendants. + +He then enumerated many instances very forcibly, in which he +showed how much more properly his majesty might have been +treated, by greater strength of steadiness in his management. He +told various facts which neither of us had heard, and, at last, +in speaking of the most recent occurrences, he fell into a +narrative relating to himself. + +The king, he said, had almost continually demanded him of late, +and with the most extreme agitation; he had been as much with him +as it was possible for his health to bear. "Five hours,,, +continued he, "I spent with him on Friday, and four + +Page 260 + +on Saturday, and three and a half yesterday; yet the moment I +went to him last night, he accused me of never coming near him. +He said I gave him up entirely; that I was always going out, +always dining out, always going to Mrs. Harcourt's--riding to St. +Leonard's; but he knew why--'twas to meet Miss Fuzilier." . . . + +Poor Lady Charlotte was answered, and, looking extremely sorry, +went away. + +He then read me his messenger's letter. 'Twas upon a very +delicate affair, relative to the Prince of Wales, in whose +service, he told me, he first began his Court preferment. + +When he had made up his packet he returned to the subject of the +king's rage, with still greater openness. He had attacked him, +he said, more violently than ever about Miss Fuzilier which, +certainly, as there had been such a report, was very unpleasant. +"And when I seriously assured him," he added, "that there was +nothing in it, he said 'I had made him the happiest of men."' + +Nov. 25.---My morning account was from General Bud, and +a very despairing one. He has not a ray of hope for better days. + +My poor queen was so much pleased with a sort of hymn for the +king, which she had been reading In the newspapers, that I +scrupled not to tell her of one in manuscript, which, of course, +she desired to read; but I stipulated for its return, though I +could not possibly stay in the room while she looked at it. + + + MR. FAIRLY WANTS A CHANGE. + +In the evening Mr. Fairly came, entering with a most gently civil +exclamation of "How long it is since I have seen you!" + +I could not answer, it was only one evening missed; for, in +truth, a day at this time seems liberally a week, and a very slow +one too. He had been to town, suddenly sent by the queen last +night, and had returned only at noon. + +he gave me a full account of all that was passing and projecting; +and awfully critical everything seemed. "He should now soon," he +said, "quit the tragic scene, and go to relax and recruit, with +his children, in the country. He regarded his service here as +nearly over, since an entirely new regulation was planning, in +which the poor king was no longer to be allowed the sight of any +of his gentlemen. His continual long conversations with them +were judged utterly improper, and + +Page 261 +he was only to be attended by the medical people and his pages." + +He then gave into my hands the office of hinting to the queen his +intention, if he could be dispensed with by her majesty, to go +into the Country on the 12th of next month (December), with his +boy Charles, who then left Eton for the Christmas holidays. I +knew this would be unwelcome intelligence, but I wished to +forward his departure, and would not refuse the commission. When +this was settled he said he would go and take a circuit, and see +how matters stood; and then, if he could get away after showing +himself, return--if I would give him leave to drink his tea with +me. + +He had not been gone ten minutes before Lady Charlotte came in +search of him. She had been told, she said, that he was with me. +I laughed, but could not forbear asking if I passed for his +keeper, since whenever he was missing I was always called to +account for him. Again, however, he came and drank his tea, and +stayed an hour, in most confidential discourse. + +When the new regulation is established, only one gentleman is to +remain--which will be the equerry in waiting. This is now +Colonel Goldsworthy. The rest will disperse. + + + REMOVAL OF THE KING To KEW DETERMINED UPON. +Nov. 26.-I found we were all speedily to remove to Kew. This was +to be kept profoundly secret till almost the moment of departure. +The king will never consent to quit Windsor and to allure him +away by some stratagem occupies all the physicians, who have +proposed and enforced this measure. Mr. Fairly is averse to it: +the king's repugnance he thinks insurmountable, and that it ought +not to be opposed. But the princes take part with the +physicians. + +He left me to ride out, but more cordial and with greater +simplicity of kindness than ever, he smilingly said in going, +"Well, good bye, and God bless you." + +"Amen," quoth I, after he had shut the door. + +Nov. 27.-This morning and whole day were dreadful My early +account was given me by Mr. Charles Hawkins, and with such +determined decision of incurability, that I left him quite in +horror. All that I dared, I softened to my poor queen, who was +now harassed to death with state affairs, and impending storms of +state dissensions, I would have given + +Page 262 +the world to have spent the whole day by her side, and poured in +what balm of hope I could, since it appeared but too Visibly she +scarce received a ray from any other. + +Universal despondence now pervaded the whole house. Sir Lucas, +indeed, sustained his original good opinion, but he was nearly +overpowered by standing alone, and was forced to let the stream +take its course with but little opposition. Even poor Mr. de Luc +was silenced ; Miss Planta easily yields to fear; and Mrs. +Schwellenberg--who thinks it treason to say the king is ever at +all indisposed--not being able to say all was quite well, forbade +a single word being uttered upon the subject +The dinners, therefore, became a time of extremest pain; all was +ignorance, mystery, and trembling expectation of evil. + +In the evening, thank heaven! came again my sole relief, Mr. +Fairly. He brought his son. and they entered with such serene +aspects, that I soon shook off a little of my gloom; and I heard +there was no new cause, for though all was bad, nothing was +worse. We talked over everything; and that always opens the +mind, and softens the bitterness of sorrow. + +The prospect before us, with respect to Kew, is indeed terrible. +There is to be a total seclusion from all but those within the +walls, and those are to be contracted to merely necessary +attendants. Mr. Fairly disapproved the scheme, though a gainer +by it of leisure and liberty. Only the equerry in waiting Is to +have a room in the house; the rest of the gentlemen are to take +their leave. He meant, therefore, himself, to go into the +country with all speed. + +Nov. 28.-How woful-how bitter a day, in every part, was this! + +My early account was from the king's page, Mr. Stillingfleet, and +the night had been extremely bad. I dared not sink the truth to +my poor queen, though I mixed in it whatever I Could devise of +cheer and hope; and she bore it with the most wonderful calmness. + +Dr. Addington was now called in: a very old physician, but +peculiarly experienced in disorders such as afflicted our poor +king, though not professedly a practitioner in them. + +Sir Lucas made me a visit, and informed me of all the medical +proceedings; and told me, in confidence, we were to go to Kew +to-morrow, though the queen herself had not yet concurred in the +measure; but the physicians joined to desire + +Page 263 +it, and they were supported by the princes. The difficulty how +to get the king away from his favourite abode was all that +rested. If they even attempted force, they had not a doubt but +his smallest resistance would call up the whole country to his +fancied rescue! Yet how, at such a time, prevail by persuasion? + +He moved me even to tears, +by telling me that none of their own lives would be safe if the +king did not recover so Prodigiously high ran the tide of +affection and loyalty. All the physicians received threatening +letters daily to answer for the safety of their monarch with +their lives! Sir George Baker had already been Stopped in his +carriage by the mob to give an account of the king; and when he +said it Was a bad one, they had furiously exclaimed, "The more +shame for you!" + + + A PRIVY COUNCIL HELD. + +After he left me, a privy council was held at the Castle, with +the Prince of Wales; the chancellor,(300) Mr. Pitt, and all the +officers of state were summoned, to sign a Permission for the +king's removal. The poor queen gave an audience to the +chancellor--it was necessary to sanctify their proceedings. The +princess royal and Lady Courtown attended her. It was a tragedy +the most dismal! + +The queen's knowledge of the king's aversion to Kew made her +consent to this measure with the extremest reluctance yet it was +not to be opposed: It Was stated as much the best for him, on +account of the garden: as here there is none but what Is Public +to spectators from the terrace or tops of houses. I believe they +were perfectly right though the removal was so tremendous. The +physicians were summoned to the privy Council, to give their +Opinions, upon oath, that this step was necessary. + +Inexpressible was the alarm of everyone, lest the king, if he +recovered, should bear a lasting resentment against the authors +and promoters of this Journey. To give it, therefore, every +possible sanction it was decreed that he should be seen, both by +the chancellor and Mr. Pitt. + +The chancellor went in to his presence with a tremor such as, +before, he had been only accustomed to inspire; and when he came +out, he was so extremely affected by the state in which he + +Page 264 + +saw his royal master and patron that the tears ran down his +cheeks, and his feet had difficulty to support him. Mr. Pitt was +more composed, but expressed his grief with so much respect and +attachment, that it added new weight to the universal admiration +with which he is here beheld. + +All these circumstances, with various others, of equal sadness +which I must not relate, came to my knowledge from Sir Lucas, Mr. +de Luc, and my noon attendance upon her majesty, who was +compelled to dress for her audience of the chancellor. And, +altogether, with the horror of the next day's removal, an([ the +gloom of the ensuing Kew residence, I was so powerfully +depressed, that when Mr. Fairly came in the evening, not all my +earnestness to support my firmness could re-animate me, and I +gave him a most solemn reception, and made the tea directly, and +almost in silence. + +He endeavoured, at first, to revive me by enlivening discourse, +but finding that fail, he had recourse to more serious means. He +began his former favourite topic-the miseries of life-the +inherent miseries, he thinks them, to which we are so universally +born and bred, that it was as much consonant with our reason to +expect as with our duty to support them. + +I heard him with that respect his subject and his character alike +merited; but I could not answer--my heart was sunk--my spirits +were all exhausted: I knew not what to expect next, nor how I +might be enabled to wade through the dreadful winter. . . . + +He had not, I saw, one ray of hope to offer me of better times, +yet he recommended me to cheer myself; but not by more sanguine +expectations--simply and solely by religion. To submit, he said, +to pray and to submit, were all we had to do. . . . + +The voice of the Prince of Wales, in the passage, carried him +away. They remained together, in deep conference, all the rest +of the evening, consulting upon measures for facilitating the +king's removal, and obtaining his consent. + +I went very late to the queen, and found her in deep sorrow but +nothing confidential passed: I found her not alone, nor alone did +I leave her. But I knew what was passing in her mind--the +removing the king!-Its difficulty and danger at present, and the +dread of his permanent indignation hereafter. + +Page 265 + THE REMOVAL To KEW. + +Nov. 29.-Shall I ever forget the varied emotions of this dreadful +day! I rose with the heaviest of hearts, and found my poor royal +mistress in the deepest dejection: she told me now of our +intended expedition to Kew. Lady Elizabeth hastened away to +dress, and I was alone with her for some time. Her mind, she +said, quite misgave her about Kew: the king's dislike was +terrible to think of, and she could not foresee in what it might +end. She would have resisted the measure herself, hut that she +had determined not to have upon her own mind any opposition to +the opinion of the physicians. + +The account of the night was still more and more discouraging: it +was related to me by one of the pages, Mr. Brawan; and though a +little I softened or omitted particulars, I yet most sorrowfully +conveyed it to the queen. + +Terrible was the morning!--uninterruptedly terrible! all spent in +hasty packing up, preparing for we knew not what, nor for how +long, nor with what circumstances, nor scarcely with what view! +We seemed preparing for captivity, without having committed any +offence; and for banishment, without the least conjecture when we +might be recalled from it. + +The poor queen was to get off in private: the plan settled, +between the princes and the physicians, was, that her majesty and +the princesses should go away quietly, and then that the king +should be told that they were gone, which was the sole method +they could devise to prevail with him to follow. He was then to +be allured by a promise of seeing them at Kew again, as they knew +he would doubt their assertion, he was to go through the rooms +and examine the house himself. + +I believe it was about ten o'clock when her majesty departed +drowned in tears, she glided along the passage, and got softly +into her carriage, with two weeping princesses, and Lady +Courtown, who was to be her lady-in-waiting during this dreadful +residence. Then followed the third princess, With Lady Charlotte +Finch. They went off without any state or parade, and a more +melancholy Scene cannot be imagined. There was not a dry eye in +the house. The footmen, the house-maids, the porter, the +sentinels--all cried even bitterly as they looked on. + +The three younger princesses were to wait till the event was +known. Lady Elizabeth Waldegrave and Miss Goldsworthy had their +royal highnesses in charge, + +Page 266 +It was settled the king was to be attended by three of his +gentlemen, in the carriage, and to be followed by the physicians, +and preceded by his pages. But all were to depart on his arrival +at Kew, except his own equerry-in-waiting. It Was not very +pleasant to these gentlemen to attend his majesty at such a time, +and upon such a plan, so adverse to his inclination, without any +power of assistance : however, they would rather have died than +refused, and it was certain the king would no other way travel +but by compulsion, which no human being dared even mention. +Miss Planta and I were to go as soon as the packages could be +ready, with some of the queen's things. Mrs. Schwellenberg was +to remain behind, for one day, in order to make arrangements +about the jewels. + +In what a confusion was the house! Princes, equerries, +physicians, pages--all conferring, whispering, plotting, and +caballing, how to induce the king to set off! + +At length we found an opportunity to glide through the passage to +the coach; Miss Planta and myself, with her maid and Goter. But +the heaviness of heart with which we began this journey, and the +dreadful prognostics of the duration of misery to which it led +us--who can tell? + +We were almost wholly silent all the way. When we arrived at +Kew, we found the suspense with which the king was awaited truly +terrible. Her majesty had determined to return to Windsor at +night, if he came not. We were all to forbear unpacking in the +mean while. + +The house was all now regulated by express order of the Prince of +Wales, who rode over first, and arranged all the apartments, and +writ, with chalk, the names of the destined inhabitants on each +door. My own room he had given to Lady Courtown ; and for me, he +had fixed on one immediately adjoining to Mrs. Schwellenberg's; a +very pleasant room, looking into the garden, but by everybody +avoided, because the partition is so thin of the next apartment, +that not a word can be spoken in either that is not heard in +both. + + + + A MYSTERIOUS VISITOR. + +While I was surveying this new habitation, the princess royal +came into it, and, with a cheered countenance, told me that the +queen had just received intelligence that the king was rather +better, and would come directly, and therefore I was + +Page 267, + +commissioned to issue orders to Columb to keep out of sight, and +to see that none of the servants were in the way when the king +passed. + +Eagerly, and enlivened, downstairs I hastened, to speak to +Columb. I flew to the parlour to ring the bell for him, as In my +new room I had no bell for either man or maid; but judge my +surprise, when, upon opening the door, and almost rushing in, I +perceived a Windsor uniform! I was retreating with equal haste, +when the figure before me started, in so theatric an attitude of +astonishment, that it forced me to look again. The arms were +then wide opened, while the figure fell back, in tragic paces. + + +Much at a loss, and unable to distinguish the face, I was again +retiring, when the figure advanced, but in such measured steps as +might have suited a march upon a stage. I now suspected it was +Mr. Fairly; yet so unlikely I thought it, I could not believe it +without speech. "Surely," I cried, " it is not--it is not--" I +stopped, afraid to make a mistake. + +With arms yet more sublimed, he only advanced, in silence and +dumb heroics. I now ventured to look more steadily at the face, +and then to exclaim-" "Is it Mr. Fairly?" + +The laugh now betrayed him: he could hardly believe I had really +not known him. I explained that my very little expectation of +seeing him at Kew had assisted my near-sightedness to perplex me. + +But I was glad to see him so sportive, which I found was Owing to +the good spirits of bringing good news; he had mounted his horse +as soon as he had heard the king had consented to the journey, +and he had galloped to Kew, to acquaint her majesty with the +welcome tidings. + +I rang and gave my orders to Columb and he then begged me not to +hurry away, and to give him leave to wait, in this parlour, the +king's arrival. He then explained to me the whole of the +intended proceedings and arrangements, with details innumerable +and most interesting. + +He meant to go almost immediately into the country--all was +settled with the queen. I told him I was most cordially glad his +recruit was so near at hand. + +"I shall, however," he said, "be in town a few days longer, and +come hither constantly to pay you all a little visit." + +Miss Planta then appeared. A more general conversation now took +place, though in its course Mr. Fairly had the malice to give me +a start I little expected from him. We were talk- + +Page 268 +ing of our poor king, and wondering at the delay of his arrival, +when Mr. Fairly said, "The king now, Miss Planta, mentions +everybody and everything that he knows or has heard mentioned in +his whole life. Pray does he know any Of your secrets? he'll +surely tell them if he does!" + +"So I hear," cried she, "but I'm sure he can't tell anything of +Me! But I wonder what he says of everybody?" + +"Why, everything," cried he. "Have you not heard of yourself?" + +"Dear, no! Dear me, Mr. Fairly!" + +"And, dear Miss Planta! why should not you have your share? Have +you not heard he spares nobody?" + +"Yes, I have; but I can't think what he says of them!" + +Fearful of anything more, I arose and looked at the Window to see +if any sign of approach appeared, but he dropped the subject +without coming any nearer, and Miss Planta dropped it too. + +I believe he wished to discover if she had heard of his learned +ladies! + + + THE KING's ARRIVAL. + +Dinner went on, and still no king. We now began to grow very +anxious, when Miss Planta exclaimed that she thought she heard a +carriage. We all listened. "I hope!" I cried. "I see you do!" +cried he, "you have a very face of hope at this moment!"--and it +was not disappointed. The sound came nearer, and presently a +carriage drove into the front court. I could see nothing, it was +so dark; but I presently heard the much-respected voice of the +dear unhappy king, speaking rapidly to the porter, as he alighted +from the coach. Mr. Fairly flew instantly upstairs, to acquaint +the queen with the welcome tidings. + +The poor king had been prevailed upon to quit Windsor with the +utmost difficulty: he was accompanied by General Harcourt, his +aide-de-camp, and Colonels Goldsworthy and Wellbred--no one else! +He had passed all the rest with apparent composure, to come to +his carriage, for they lined the passage, eager to see him once +more! and almost all Windsor was collected round the rails, etc. +to witness the mournful spectacle of his departure, which left +them in the deepest despondence, with scarce a ray of hope ever +to see him again. + +Page 269 + +The bribery, however, which brought, was denied him!--he was by +no means to see the queen + +When I went to her at night, she was all graciousness, and kept +me till very late. I had not seen her alone so long, except for +a few minutes in the morning, that I had a thousand things I +wished to say to her. You may be sure they were all, as far as +they went, consolatory. + +Princess Augusta had a small tent-bed put up in the queen's +bed-chamber: I called her royal highness when the queen dismissed +me. She undressed in an adjoining apartment. + + + THE ARRANGEMENTS AT KEW PALACE. + +I must now tell you how the house is disposed. The whole of the +ground-floor that looks towards the 'garden is appropriated to +the king, though he is not indulged with its range. In the side +wing is a room for the physicians, destined to their +consultations; adjoining to that is the equerry's dining-room. +Mrs. Schwellenberg's parlours, which are in the front of the +house, one for dining, the other for coffee and tea, are still +allowed us. The other front rooms below are for the pages to +dine, and the rest of the more detached buildings are for the +servants of various sorts. + +All the rooms immediately over those which are actually occupied +by the king are locked up; her majesty relinquishes them, that he +may never be tantalized by footsteps overhead. She has retained +only the bed-room, the drawing-room, which joins to it, and the +gallery, in which she eats. Beyond this gallery are the +apartments of the three elder princesses, in one .of which rooms +Miss Planta sleeps. There is nothing more on the first floor. + +On the second a very large room for Mrs. Schwellenberg, and a +very pleasant one for myself, are over the queen's rooms. +Farther on are three bed-rooms, one for the surgeon or apothecary +in waiting, the next for the equerry, and the third, lately mine, +for the queen's lady--all written thus with chalk by the prince. + +Then follows a very long dark passage, with little bed-rooms on +each side, for the maids, and one of the pages. These look like +so many little cells of a convent. + +Mrs. Sandys has a room nearer the queen's, and Goter has one +nearer to mine. At the end of this passage there is a larger +room, formerly appropriated to Mr. de Luc, but now + +Page 270 + +chalked "The physicians'." One physician, one equerry, and one +surgeon or apothecary, are regularly to sleep in the house. This +is the general arrangement. + +The prince very properly has also ordered that one of his +majesty's grooms of' the bedchamber should be in constant +waiting; he is to reside in the prince's house, over the way, +which is also fitting up for some others. This gentleman is to +receive all inquiries about the king's health. The same +regulation had taken place at Windsor, in the Castle, where the +gentlemen waited in turn. Though, as the physicians send their +account to St. James's, this is now become an almost useless +ceremony, for everybody goes thither to read the bulletin. + +The three young princesses are to be in a house belonging to the +king on Kew green, commonly called Princess Elizabeth's, as her +royal highness has long inhabited it in her illness. There will +lodge Miss Goldsworthy, Mlle. Montmoulin, and Miss Gomme. Lady +Charlotte Finch is to be at the Prince of Wales's. + +I could not sleep all night----I thought I heard the poor king. +He was under the same range of apartments, though far distant, +but his indignant disappointment haunted me. The queen, too, was +very angry at having promises made in her +name which could not be kept. What a day altogether was this! + + + A REGENCY HINTED AT. + +Sunday, Nov. 30.-Here, in all its dread colours, dark as its +darkest prognostics, began the Kew campaign. I went to my poor +queen at seven o'clock: the Princess Augusta arose and went away +to dress, and I received her majesty's commands to go down for +inquiries. She had herself passed a wretched night, and already +lamented leaving Windsor. + +I waited very long in the cold dark passages below, before I +could find any one of whom to ask intelligence. The parlours +were without fires, and washing. I gave directions afterwards, +to have a fire in one of them by seven o'clock every morning. + +At length I procured the speech of one of the pages, and heard +that the night had been the most violently bad of any yet +passed!--and no wonder! + +I hardly knew how to creep upstairs, frozen both within and +without, to tell such news; but it was not received as if +unexpected, and I omitted whatever was not essential to be known. + +Page 271 + +Afterwards arrived Mrs: Schwellenberg, so oppressed +between her spasms and the house's horrors, that the oppression +she inflicted ought perhaps to be pardoned. It was, however, +difficult enough to bear! Harshness, tyranny, dissension, and +even insult, seemed personified. I cut short details upon this +subject-they would but make you sick. . . . + +My dear Miss Cambridge sent to me immediately. I saw +she had a secret hope she might come and sit with me now and then +in this confinement. It would have been my greatest possible +solace in this dreary abode: but I hastened to acquaint her of +the absolute seclusion, and even to beg she would not send her +servant to the house - for I found it was much desired to keep +off all who might carry away any intelligence. + +She is ever most reasonable, and never thenceforward hinted upon +the subject. But she wrote continually long letters, and filled +with news and anecdotes of much interest, relating to anything +she could gather of "out-house proceedings," which now became +very important--the length of the malady threatening a regency!-- +a Word which I have not yet been able to articulate. + + + MR. FAIRLY'S KIND OFFICES. + +Kew, Monday, Dec. 1.-Mournful was the opening of the month! My +account of the night from Gezewell, the page, was very alarming, +and my poor royal mistress began to sink more than I had ever yet +seen. No wonder; the length of the malady so uncertain, +the steps which seemed now requisite so shocking: for new advice, +and such as suited only disorders that physicians in general +relinquish, was now proposed, and compliance or refusal were +almost equally tremendous. + +In sadness I returned from her, and, moping and unoccupied, I was +walking up and down my room, when Columb came to say Mr. Fairly +desired to know if I could see him. + +Certainly, I said, I would come to him in the parlour. He +was not at all well, nor did he seem at all comfortable. He +had undertaken, by his own desire, to purchase small carpets for +the princesses, for the house is in a state of cold and +discomfort past all imagination. It has never been a winter +residence, and there was nothing prepared for its becoming one. +He could not, he told me, look at the rooms of their royal +highnesses without shuddering for them; and he longed, he said, +to cover all the naked, cold boards, to render them + +Page 272 + +more habitable. He had obtained permission to execute this as a +commission: for so miserable is the house at present that no +general orders to the proper people are either given Or thought +about; and every one is so absorbed in the general calamity, that +they would individually sooner perish than offer up complaint or +petition. I Should never end were I to explain the reasons there +are for both. + +What he must next, he said, effect, was supplying them with +sand-bags for windows and doors, which he intended to fill and to +place himself. The wind which blew in upon those lovely +princesses, he declared, was enough to destroy them. + +When he had informed me of these kind offices, he began an +inquiry into how I was lodged. Well enough, I said; but he would +not accept so general an answer. He insisted upon knowing what +was my furniture, and in particular if I had any carpet; and when +I owned I had none, he smiled, and said he would bring six, +though his commission only extended to three. + +He did not at all like the parlour, which, indeed, is wretchedly +cold and miserable: he wished to bring it a carpet, and +new fit it up with warm winter accommodations. He reminded me of +my dearest Fredy, when she brought me a decanter of barley-water +and a bright tin saucepan, under her hoop. I Could not tell him +that history in detail, but I rewarded his good-nature by hinting +at the resemblance it bore, in its active zeal, to my sweet Mrs. +Locke. . . . + +The queen afterwards presented me with a very pretty little new +carpet; only a bed-side slip, but very warm. She knew not how +much I was acquainted with its history, but I found she had +settled for them all six. She gave another to Mrs. +Schwellenberg. + + + MRS. SCHWELLENBERG'S PARLOUR. + +Dec. 3.-Worse again to-day was the poor king: the little fair +gleam, how soon did it pass away! + +I was beginning to grow ill myself, from the added fatigue of +disturbance in the night, unavoidably occasioned by the +neighbourhood to an invalid who summoned her maids at all hours; +and my royal mistress issued orders for a removal to take place. + +My new apartment is at the end of the long dark passage +mentioned, with bed-room cells on each side it. It is a + +Page 273 + +very comfortable room, carpeted all over, with one window +looking- to the front of the house and two into a court-yard. It +is the most distant from the queen, but in all other respects is +very desirable. + +I must now relate briefly a new piece of cruelty. I happened to +mention to la première présidente my waiting for a page to bring +the morning accounts. + +"And where do you wait?" + +"In the parlour, ma'am." + +"In my parlour? Oh, ver well! I will see to that!" + +"There is no other place, ma'am, but the cold passages, which, at +that time in the morning, are commonly wet as well as dark." + +"O, ver well! When everybody goes to my room I might keep an +inn--what you call hotel." + +All good humour now again vanished; and this morning, when I made +my seven o'clock inquiry, I found the parlour doors both locked! +I returned so shivering to my queen, that she demanded the cause, +which I simply related; foreseeing inevitable destruction from +continuing to run such a hazard. She instantly protested there +should be a new arrangement. + +Dec. 4.-No opportunity offered yesterday for my better security, +and therefore I was again exposed this morning to the cold dark +damp of the miserable passage. The account was tolerable, but a +threat of sore-throat accelerated the reform. + +It was now settled that the dining-parlour should be made over +for the officers of state who came upon business to the house, +and who hitherto had waited in the hall; and the room which was +next to Mrs. Schwellenberg's, and which had first been mine, was +now made our salle à manger. By this means, the parlour being +taken away for other people, and by command relinquished, I +obtained once again the freedom of entering it, to 'gather my +account for her majesty. But the excess of ill-will awakened by +my obtaining this little privilege, which was actually necessary +to my very life, was so great, that more of personal offence and +harshness could not have been shown to the most guilty of +culprits. + +One of the pages acquainted me his majesty was not worse, and the +night had been as usual. As usual, too, was my day sad and +solitary all the morning--not solitary but worse during dinner +and coffee. + +just after it, however, came the good and sweet Mr. Smelt. + +Page 274 + +The Prince of Wales sent for him, and condescended to apologise +for the Windsor transaction, and to order he might regain +admission. + +How this was brought about I am not clear: I only know it is +agreed by all parties that the prince has the faculty of making +his peace, where he wishes it, with the most captivating grace In +the world. + + + A NEW PHYSICIAN SUMMONED. + +Mr. Fairly told me this evening that Dr. Willis, a physician of +Lincoln, of peculiar skill and practice in intellectual maladies, +had been sent for by express. The poor queen had most painfully +concurred in a measure which seemed to fix the nature of the +king's attack in the face of the world; but the necessity and +strong advice had prevailed over her repugnance. + +Dec. 6.-Mr. Fairly came to me, to borrow pen and ink for a few +memorandums. Notwithstanding much haste. he could not, he said, +go till he had acquainted me with the opening of Dr. Willis with +his royal patient. I told him there was nothing I more anxiously +wished to hear. + +He then gave me the full narration, interesting, curious, +extraordinary; full of promise and hope. He is extremely pleased +both with the doctor and his son, Dr. John, he says they are +fine, lively, natural, independent characters. + +Sunday, Dec. 7.-Very bad Was this morning's account. Lady +Charlotte Finch read prayers to the queen and princess, and Lady +Courtown, and the rest for themselves. M r. Fairly wishes her +majesty would summon a chaplain, and let the house join in +congregation. I think he is right, as far as the house extends +to those who are still admitted into her majesty's presence. + +Dec. 8.-The accounts began mending considerably, and hope broke +in upon all. + +Dec. 9.---All gets now into a better channel, and the dear royal +invalid gives every symptom of amendment. God be praised! + +Dec. 11.-To-day We have had the fairest hopes: the king took his +first walk in Kew garden! There have been impediments to this +trial hitherto, that have been thought insurmountable, though, in +fact, they were most frivolous. The walk seemed to do him good, +and we are all in better + +Page 275 + +spirits about him than for this many and many a long day past. + + + + MRS. SCHWELLENBERG'S OPINION OF MR. FAIRLY. +Dec. 12.-This day passed in much the same manner. Late in the +evening, after Mr. Smelt was gone, Mrs. Schwellenberg began +talking about Mr. Fairly, and giving free vent to all her strong +innate aversion to him. She went back to the old history of the +"newseepaper," and gave to his naming it every unheard motive of +spite, disloyalty, and calumny! three qualities which I believe +equally and utterly unknown to him. He was also, she said, "very +onfeeling, for she had heard him laugh prodigious with the Lady +Waldegraves, Perticleer with lady Carlisle, what you call Lady +Elizabeth her sister, and this in the king's illness." And, in +fine, she could not bear him. + +Such gross injustice I could not hear quietly. I began a warm +defence, protesting I knew no one whose heart was more feelingly +devoted to the royal family, except, perhaps, Mr. Smelt; and that +as to his laughing, it must have been at something of passing and +accidental amusement, since he was grave even to melancholy, +except when he exerted his spirits for the relief or +entertainment of others. + +Equally amazed and provoked, she disdainfully asked me what I +knew of him? + +I made no answer. I was not quite prepared for the +interrogatory, and feared she might next inquire when and where I +had seen him? + +My silence was regarded as self-conviction of error, and she +added, "I know you can't not know him; I know he had never seen +you two year and half ago; when you came here he had not heard +your name." + +"Two years and a half," I answered coolly, "I did not regard as a +short time for forming a judgment of any one's character." + +"When you don't not see them ? You have never seen him, I am +sure, but once, or what you call twice." + +I did not dare let this pass, it was so very wide from the truth; +but calmly said I had seen him much oftener than once or twice. +"And where? when have you seen him?" + +"Many times; and at Cheltenham constantly; but never to observe +in him anything but honour and goodness." + +"O ver well! you don't not know him like me, you can't + +Page 276 +not know him; he is not from your acquaintance--I know that ver +well!" + +She presently went on by herself. "You could not know such a +person--he told me the same himself: he told me he had not never +seen you when you first came. You might see him at Cheltenham, +that is true; but nothing others, I am +sure. At Windsor there was no tea, not wonce, so you can't not +have seen him, only at Cheltenham." + +I hardly knew whether to laugh or be frightened at this width of +error; nor, indeed, whether it was not all some artifice to draw +me out, from pique, into some recital: at all events I thought it +best to say nothing, for she was too affronting to deserve to be +set right. + +She went on to the same purpose some time, more than insinuating +that a person such as Mr. Fairly could never let him self down to +be acquainted with me; till finding me too much offended to think +her assertions worth answering, she started, at last, another +subject. I then forced myself to talk much as usual. But how +did I rejoice when the clock struck ten--how wish it had been +twelve! + + + THE KING'S VARYING CONDITION. + +Dec. 15.-This whole day was passed in great internal agitation +throughout the house, as the great and important business of the +Regency was to be discussed to-morrow in Parliament. All is now +too painful and intricate for writing a word. I begin to confine +my memorandums almost wholly to my own personal proceedings. + +Dec. 16.-Whatsoever might pass in the House on this momentous +subject, it sat so late that no news could arrive. Sweeter and +better news, however, was immediately at hand than any the whole +senate could transmit; the account from the pages was truly +cheering. With what joy did I hasten with it to the queen, who +immediately ordered me to be its welcome messenger to the three +princesses. And when Mr. Smelt came to my breakfast, with what +rapture did he receive it! seizing and kissing my hand, while his +eyes ran over, and joy seemed quite to bewitch him. He flew away +in a very few minutes, to share his happiness with his faithful +partner. + +After breakfast I had a long conference in the parlour with Sir +Lucas Pepys, who justly gloried in the advancement of his +original prediction; but there had been much dissension +Page 277 + +amongst the physicians, concerning the bulletin to go to St. +James's, no two agreeing in the degree of better to be announced +to the world. + +Dr. Willis came in while we were conversing, but instantly +retreated, to leave us undisturbed. He looks a very fine old +man. I wish to be introduced to him. Mr. Smelt and Mr. Fairly +are both quite enchanted with all the family; for another son +now, a clergyman, Mr. Thomas Willis, has joined their forces. + +Dec. 17.-MY account this morning was most afflictive once more: +it was given by Mr. Hawkins, and was cruelly subversive of all +our rising hopes. I carried it to the queen in trembling but she +bore it most mildly. What resignation is hers! + +Dec. 22.-With what joy did I carry, this morning, an exceeding +good account of the king to my royal mistress! It was trebly +welcome., as much might depend upon it in the resolutions of the +House concerning the Regency, which was of to-day's discussion. + +Mr. Fairly took leave, for a week, he said, wishing me my health, +while I expressed my own wishes for his good journey But, in +looking forward to a friendship the most permanent, saw the +eligibility of rendering it the most open. I therefore went back +to Mrs. Schwellenberg; and the moment I received a reproach for +staying so long, I calmly answered, "Mr. Fairly had made me a +visit, to take leave before he went into the country." + +Amazement was perhaps never more indignant. Mr. Fairly to take +leave of me! while not once he even called upon her! This offence +swallowed up all other comments upon the communication. I seemed +not to understand it; but we had a terrible two hours and a-half. +Yet to such, now, I may look forward without any mixture, any +alleviation, for evening after evening in this sad abode. + +N.B. My own separate adventures for this month, and year, +concluded upon this day. + +The king went on now better, now worse, in a most fearful manner; +but Sir Lucas Pepys never lost sight of hope, and the management +of Dr. Willis and his two sons was most wonderfully acute and +successful. Yet so much were they perplexed and tormented by the +interruptions given to their plans and methods, that they were +frequently almost tempted to resign the undertaking from anger +and confusion. + +Page 278 + + DR. WILLIS AND His SON. + +Kew Palace, Thursday, Jan. 1, 1789.-The year opened with an +account the most promising of our beloved king. I saw Dr, +Willis, and he told me the night had been very tranquil and he +sent for his son, Dr. John Willis, to give me a history of the +morning. Dr. John's narration was in many parts very affecting: +the dear and excellent king had been praying for his own +restoration! Both the doctors told me that such strong symptoms +of true piety had scarce ever been discernible through so +dreadful a malady. + +How I hastened to my queen!--and with what alacrity I besought +permission to run next to the princesses! It was so sweet, so +soothing, to open a new year with the solace of anticipated good! + +Jan. 3.-I have the great pleasure, now, of a change in my +morning's historiographers; I have made acquaintance with Dr. +Willis and his son, and they have desired me to summon one of +them constantly for my information. I am extremely struck with +both these physicians. Dr. Willis is a man of ten thousand; +open, holiest, dauntless, lighthearted, innocent, and high +minded: I see him impressed with the most animated reverence and +affection for his royal patient; but it is wholly for his +character,--not a whit for his rank. + +Dr. John, his eldest son, is extremely handsome, and inherits, in +a milder degree, all the qualities of his father; but living +more in the general world, and having his fame and fortune still +to settle, he has not yet acquired the same courage, nor is he, +by nature, quite so sanguine in his opinions. The manners of +both are extremely pleasing, and they both proceed completely +their own way, not merely unacquainted with court etiquette, but +wholly, and most artlessly, unambitious to form any such +acquaintance. + +Jan. 11.-This morning Dr. John gave me but a bad account of the +poor king. His amendment is not progressive; it fails, and goes +back, and disappoints most grievously; yet it would be nothing +were the case and its circumstances less discussed, +and were expectation more reasonable. + +Jan. 12.-A melancholy day: news bad both at home and abroad. At +home the dear unhappy king still worse--abroad new examinations +voted of the physicians! Good heaven! what an insult does this +seem from parliamentary power, to investigate and bring forth to +the world every circumstance Of + +Page 279 +such a malady as is ever held sacred to secrecy in the most +private families! How indignant we all feel here no words can +say. + + + LEARNING IN WOMEN. + +Jan. 13.-The two younger Willises, Dr. John and Mr. Thomas, came +upstairs in the afternoon, to make a visit to Mrs. Schwellenberg. +I took the opportunity to decamp to my own room, where I found +Mr. Fairly in waiting. + +In the course of conversation that followed, Mrs. Carter was +named: Mr. Smelt is seriously of opinion her ode is the best in +our language.(301) I spoke of her very highly, for indeed I +reverence her. + +Learning in women was then Our theme. I rather wished to hear +than to declaim upon this subject, yet I never seek to disguise +that I think it has no recommendation of sufficient value to +compensate its evil excitement of envy and satire. + +He spoke with very uncommon liberality on the female powers and +intellects, and protested he had never, in his commerce with the +world, been able to discern any other inferiority in their parts +than what resulted from their Pursuits -and yet, with all this, +he doubted much whether he had ever seen any woman who might not +have been rather better without than with the learned languages, +one only excepted. + +He was some time silent, and I could not but suppose he meant his +correspondent, Miss Fuzilier; but, with a very tender sigh, he +said, "And she was my mother,--who neglected nothing else, while +she cultivated Latin, and who knew it very well, and would have +known it very superiorly, but that her brother disliked her +studying, and one day burnt all her books!" + +This anecdote led to one in return, from myself. I told him, +briefly the history of Dr. Johnson's most kind condescension, in +desiring to make me his pupil, and beginning to give me regular +lessons of the Latin language, and i proceeded to the speedy +conclusion--my great apprehension,-- conviction rather,--that +what I learnt of so great a man could never be private, and that +he himself would contemn concealment, if any + +Page 280 + +progress should be made; which to Me was sufficient motive for +relinquishing the scheme, and declining the honour, highly as I +valued it, of obtaining Such a master--"and this," I added, +"though difficult to be done without offending, +was yet the better effected, as my father himself likes and +approves all accomplishments for women better than the dead +languages." + + + + THE QUEEN AND MR. FAIRLY'S VISITS. + +Jan. 14.-I must now mention a rather singular conversation. I +had no opportunity last night to name, as usual, my visitor; but +I have done it so often, so constantly indeed, that I was not +uneasy In the omission. + +But this morning, while her hair was dressing, my royal Mistress +suddenly said, "Did you see any body yesterday?" I could not but +be sure of her meaning, and though vexed to be anticipated in my +avowal, which had but waited the departure of the wardrobe-woman, +Sandys, I instantly answered, "Yes, ma'am; Mr, Smelt in the +morning and Mr. Fairly in the evening." + +"O! Mr. Fairly was here, then?" + +I was now doubly sorry she should know this only from me! He had +Mentioned being just come from town, but I had concluded Lady +Charlotte Finch, as usual, knew of his arrival, and had made it +known to her Majesty. A little while after,--"Did he go away +from you early?" she said. + +"No, ma'am," I Immediately answered, "not early: he drank tea +with Me, as he generally does, I believe, when he is here for the +night." + +"Perhaps," cried she after a pause, "the gentlemen below do not +drink tea." + +"I cannot tell, ma'am, I never heard him say; I only know he +asked me if I would give him some, and I told him yes, with great +pleasure." + +Never did I feel so happy in unblushing consciousness of internal +liberty as in this little catechism! However, I soon found I had +Mistaken the Motive of the catechism: it was not on account of +Mr. Fairly and his visit; it was all for Mrs. Schwellenberg and +her no visits; for she soon dropped something of "poor Mrs. +Schwellenberg" and her Miserable state, that opened her whole +meaning. + +Page 281 + + A MELANCHOLY BIRTHDAY. + +Sunday, Jan. 18.-The public birthday of my poor royal mistress. +How sadly did she pass it; and how was I filled With sorrow for +her reflections upon this its first anniversary for these last +twenty-eight years in which the king and the nation have not +united in its celebration! All now was passed over in silence +and obscurity; all observance of the day was prohibited, both +abroad and at home. + +The poor king whose attention to times and dates is unremittingly +exact, knew the day, and insisted upon seeing the queen and three +of the princesses; but--it was not a good day. + + + MR. FAIRLY ON FANS. + + +Jan. 21.-I came to my room; and there, in my own corner, sat poor +Mr. Fairly, looking a little forlorn, and telling me he had been +there near an hour. I made every apology that could mark in the +strongest manner how little I thought his patience worth such +exertion. . . . + +He was going to spend the next day at St. Leonard's, where he was +to meet his son; and he portrayed to me the character of Mrs. +Harcourt so fairly and favourably, that her flightiness sunk away +on the rise of her good qualities. He spoke of his chapel of St. +Catherine's, its emoluments, chaplain, brothers, sisters, and +full establishment. + +Finding I entered into nothing, he took up a fan which lay on my +table, and began playing off various imitative airs with it, +exclaiming, "How thoroughly useless a toy!" + +"No," I said; "on the contrary, taken as an ornament, it was the +most useful ornament of any belonging to full dress, occupying +the hands, giving the eyes something to look at, and taking away +stiffness and formality from the figure and deportment." + +"Men have no fans," cried he, "and how do they do?" + +"Worse," quoth I, plumply. + +He laughed quite out, saying, "That's ingenuous, however; and, +indeed, I must confess they are reduced, from time to time, to +shift their hands from one pocket to another." + +"Not, to speak of lounging about in their chairs from one side to +another." + +"But the real use of a fan," cried he, "if there is any, is it +not--to hide a particular blush that ought not to appear?" + +Page 282 + +"O, no; it Would rather make it the sooner noticed." +"Not at all; it may be done under pretence of absence--rubbing +the cheek, or nose--putting it up accidentally to the eye--in a +thousand ways." + +He went through all these evolutions comically enough, and then, +putting aside his toy, came back to graver matters. + + + MR. FAIRLY CONTINUES HIS VISITS: + THE QUEEN AGAIN REMARKS UPON THEM. + +Jan. 26.-In the evening Mr. Fairly came to tea. He was grave, +and my reception did not make him gayer. General discourse took +place till Mrs. Dickenson happened to be named. He knew her very +well as Miss Hamilton. Her conjugal conduct, in displaying her +Superior power over her husband, was our particular theme, till +in the midst of it he exclaimed, "How well you will be trained in +by Mrs. Schwellenberg--if you come to trial!" + +Ah! thought I, the more I suffer through her, the less and less +do I feel disposed to run any new and more lasting risk, But I +said not this. I only protested I was much less her humble +servant than might be supposed. + +"How can that be," cried he, "when you never contest any one +point with her?" + +Not, I said, in positive wrangling, which could never answer its +horrible pain; but still I refused undue obedience when exacted +with indignity, and always hastened to retire when offended and +affronted. + +He took up Mrs. Smith's "Emmeline,"(302) which is just lent me by +the queen; but he found it not piquant and putting it down, +begged me to choose him a Rambler." I had a good deal of +difficulty In my decision, as he had already seen almost all I +could particularly wish to recommend; and, when he saw me turn +over leaf after leaf with some hesitation, he began a serious +reproach to me of inflexible reserve. And then away he went. + +I hastened immediately to Mrs. Schwellenberg; and found all in a +tumult. She had been, she said, alone all the evening, and was +going to have sent for me, but found I had my company. She sent +for Mlle. Montmoulin but she had a cold; for Miss Gomme, but she +could not come because of the snow; + +Page 283 + +for Miss Planta but she was ill with a fever, "what you call +head-ache:" she had then "sent to princess royal, who had been to +her, and pitied her ver moch, for princess royal was really +sensible." + +And all this was communicated with a look of accusation, and a +tone of menace, that might have suited an attack upon some +hardened felon. . . . + +I made no sort of apology nor any other answer than that I had +had the honour of Mr. Fairly's company to tea, which was always a +pleasure to me. + +I believe something like consciousness whispered her here, that +it might really be possible his society was as pleasant as I had +found hers, for she then dropped her lamentation, and said she +thanked God she wanted nobody, not one; she could always amuse +herself, and was glad enough to be alone. + +Were it but true! + +I offered cards: she refused, because it was too late, though we +yet remained together near two hours. + +If this a little disordered me, You will not think what followed +was matter of composure. While the queen's hair was rolling up, +by the wardrobe woman, at night, Mrs. Schwellenberg happened to +leave the room, and almost instantly her majesty, in a rather +abrupt manner, said "Is Mr. Fairly here to-night?" + +"Yes, ma'am." + +"When did he come back?" + +I could not recollect. + +"I did not know he was here." + +This thunderstruck me; that he should come again, or stay, at +least, without apprising his royal mistress, startled me +inwardly, and distressed me outwardly. + +"I knew, indeed," she then added, "he was here in the morning, +but I understood he went away afterwards." + +The idea of connivance now struck me with a real disdain, that +brought back my courage and recollection in full force, and I +answered, "I remember, ma'am, he told me he had rode over to +Richmond park at noon, and returned here to dinner with Colonel +Wellbred, and in the evening he drank tea with me, and said he +should sup with General Harcourt." + +All this, spoken with an openness that rather invited than +shunned further investigation, seemed to give an immediate +satisfaction ; the tone of voice_ changed to its usual com- + +Page 284 +placency, and she inquired various things concerning the Stuart +family, and then spoke upon more common topics. + +I concluded it now all over; but soon after Mrs. Sandys went +away, and then, very unexpectedly, the queen renewed the subject. +"The reason," she said, "that I asked about Mr. Fairly was that +the Schwellenberg sent to ask Miss Planta to come to her, because +Mr. Fairly was--no, not with her--he never goes to her." + +She stopped; but I was wholly silent. I felt instantly with how +little propriety I could undertake either to defend or to excuse +Mr. Fairly, whom I determined to consider as a visitor,, over +whom, having no particular influence, I could be charged with no +particular responsibility. + +After waiting a few minutes,-"With you," she said, "Mr. Fairly +was and the Schwellenberg was alone." + +My spirits quite panted at this moment to make a full Confession +of the usage I had endured from the person thus compassionated; +but I had so frequently resolved, in moments Of cool +deliberation, not even to risk doing mischief to a favourite old +servant, that I withstood the impulse ; but the inward conflict +silenced me from saying anything else. + +I believe she was surprised but she added, after a long pause, "I +believe--he comes to you every evening when here." + +"I do not know, ma'am, always, when he is here or away; but I am +always very glad to see him, for indeed his visits make all the +little variety that--" + +I hastily stopped, lest she should think me discontented with +this strict confinement during this dreadful season ; and that I +can never be, when it is not accompanied by tyranny and +injustice. + +She immediately took up the word, but without the slightest +displeasure. "Why here there might be more variety than +anywhere, from the nearness to town, except for--" + +" The present situation of things." I eagerly interrupted her to +say, and went on: "Indeed, ma'am, I have scarce a wish to break +into the present arrangement, by seeing anybody while the house +is in this state; nor have I, from last October, seen one human +being that does not live here, except Mr. Smelt, Mr. Fairly, and +Sir Lucas Pepys; and they all come upon their own calls, and not +for me." + +"The only objection," she gently answered, "to seeing anybody, is +that every one who comes carries some sort of information away +with them." + +Page 285 + +I assured her I was perfectly content to wait for better +times, Here the matter dropped ; she appeared satisfied with what +I said, and became soft and serene as before the little attack. + +Jan. 27.-The intelligence this morning was not very pleasant. I +had a conference afterwards with Sir Lucas Pepys, who keeps up +undiminished hope. We held our council in the physicians' room, +which chanced to be empty; but before it broke up Colonel +Wellbred entered. It was a pleasure to me to see him, though +somewhat an embarrassment to hear him immediately lament that we +never met, and add that he knew not in what manner to procure +himself that pleasure. I joined in the lamentation, and its +cause, which confined us all to our cells. Sir Lucas declared my +confinement menaced my health, and charged me to walk out, and +take air and exercise very sedulously, if I would avoid an +illness. + +Colonel Wellbred instantly offered me a key of Richmond gardens, +which opened into them by a nearer door than what was used in +common. I accepted his kindness, and took an hour's walk,-for +the first time since last October; ten minutes in Kew gardens are +all I have spent without doors since the middle of that month. + + + THE SEARCH FOR MR. FAIRLY. + +Jan. 30.-To-day my poor royal mistress received the address of +the Lords and Commons, of condolence, etc., upon his majesty's +illness. What a painful, but necessary ceremony! It was most +properly presented by but few members, and those almost all +chosen from the household: a great propriety. + +Not long after came Mr. Fairly, looking harassed. "May I," he +cried, "come in?--and-for an hour? Can you allow me entrance and +room for that time?" + +Much Surprised, for already it was three o'clock, I assented: he +then told me he had something to copy for her majesty, which was +of the highest importance, and said he could find no quiet room +in the house but mine for such a business. I gave him every +accommodation in my power. When he had written a few lines, he +asked if I was very busy, or could help him ? Most readily I +offered my services, and then I read to him the original, +sentence by sentence, to facilitate his copying; receiving his +assurances of my "great assistance" every two lines. In the +midst of this occupation, + +Page 286 + +a tap at my door made me precipitately put down the paper to +receive-lady Charlotte Finch! + +"Can you," she cried, "have the goodness to tell me any thing of +Mr. Fairly?" + +The screen had hidden him; but, gently,--though, I believe ill +enough pleased,--he called out himself, "Here is Mr. Fairly." + +She flew up to him, crying, "O, Mr. Fairly, what a search has +there been for you, by the queen's orders ! She has wanted you +extremely, and no one knew where to find you. They have been to +the waiting-room, to the equerries', all over the garden, to the +prince's house, in your own room, and could find you nowhere, and +at last they thought you were gone back to town." + +He calmly answered, while he still wrote on, he was sorry they +had had so much trouble, for he had only been executing her +majesty's commands. + +She then hesitated a little, almost to stammering, in adding +"So--at last--I said--that perhaps--you might be here!" + +He now raised his head from the paper, and bowing it towards me, +"Yes," he cried, "Miss Burney is so good as to give me leave, and +there is no other room in the house in Which I can be at rest." + +"So I told her majesty," answered Lady Charlotte, "though she +said she was sure you could not be here ; but I said there was +really no room of quiet here for any business, and so then I came +to see." + +"Miss Burney," he rejoined, "has the goodness also to help me-- +she has taken the trouble to read as I go on, which forwards me +very much." + +Lady Charlotte stared, and I felt sorry at this confession of a +confidence she could not but think too much, and I believe he +half repented it, for he added, "This, however, you need not +perhaps mention, though I know where I trust!" + +He proceeded again with his writing, and she then recollected her +errand. She told him that what he was copying was to be carried +to town by Lord Aylesbury, but the queen desired to see it first. + She then returned to her majesty. + +She soon, however, returned again. She brought the queen's seal, +and leave that he might make up the packet, and give it to Lord +Aylesbury, without showing it first to her majesty, who was just +gone to dinner. With her customary good-humour + +Page 287 + +and good-breeding, she then chatted with me some time, and again +departed. + +We then went to work with all our might, reading and copying. +The original was extremely curious--I am sorry I must make it +equally secret. + + + Miss BURNEY's ALARM ON BEING CHASED BY THE KING. +Kew Palace, Monday, Feb. 2.-What an adventure had I this morning! +one that has occasioned me the severest personal terror I ever +experienced in my life. + +Sir Lucas Pepys still persisting that exercise and air were +absolutely necessary to save me from illness, I have continued my +walks, varying my gardens from Richmond to Kew, according to the +accounts I received of the movements of the king. For this I had +her majesty's permission, on the representation of Sir Lucas. +This morning, when I received my intelligence of the king from +Dr. John Willis, I begged to know where I might walk in safety? +"In Kew gardens," he said, "as the king would be in Richmond." + +"Should any unfortunate circumstance," I cried, "at any time, +occasion my being seen by his majesty, do not mention my name, +but let me run off without call or notice." This he promised. +Everybody, indeed, is ordered to keep out of sight. Taking, +therefore, the time I had most at command, I strolled into the +gardens. I had proceeded, in my quick way, nearly half the +round, when I suddenly perceived, through some trees, two or +three figures. Relying on the instructions of Dr. John, I +concluded them to be workmen and gardeners; yet tried to look +sharp, and in so doing, as they were less shaded, I thought I saw +the person of his majesty! + +Alarmed past all possible expression, I waited not to know more, +but turning back, ran off with all my might. But what was my +terror to hear myself pursued!--to hear the voice of the king +himself loudly and hoarsely calling after me, "MISS Burney! Miss +Burney! + +I protest I was ready to die. I knew not in what state he might +be at the time; I only knew the orders to keep out of his way +were universal; that the queen would highly disapprove any +unauthorized meeting, and that the very action of my running away +might deeply, in his present irritable state, +offend him. Nevertheless, on I ran, too terrified to stop, and +Page 288 + +In search Of some short passage, for the g)arden is full of +labyrinths, by which I might escape. + +The steps still pursued me, and Still the poor hoarse and altered +voice rang in my ears:--more and more footsteps sounded +frightfully behind me,--the attendants all running to catch their +eager master, and the voices of the two Doctor Willises loudly +exhorting him not to heat himself so unmercifully. + +Heavens, how I ran! I do not think I should have felt the hot +lava from Vesuvius--at least not the hot cinders--hadd I so run +during its eruption. My feet were not sensible that they even +touched the ground. + +Soon after, I heard other voices, shriller, though less nervous, +call out "Stop! stop! stop!" + +I could by no means consent: I knew not what was purposed, but I +recollected fully my agreement with Dr. John that very morning, +that I should decamp if Surprised, and not b named. My own fears +and repugnance, also, after a flight and disobedience like this, +were doubled in the thought of not +escaping; I knew not to what I might be exposed, should the +malady be then high, and take the turn of resentment. Still, +therefore, on I flew; and such was my speed, so almost incredible +to relate or recollect, that I fairly believe no one of the whole +party could have overtaken me, if these words, from one of the +attendants, had not reached me, "Doctor Willis begs you to stop!" + + +"I cannot! I cannot!" I answered, still flying on, when he called +out, "You must, ma'am; it hurts the king to run." + +Then, indeed, I stopped--in a state of fear really amounting to +agony. I turned round, I saw the two doctors had got the king +between them, and three attendants of Dr. Willis's were hovering +about. They all slackened their pace, as they saw me stand +still; but such was the excess of my alarm, that I was wholly +insensible to the effects of a race which, at any other time, +would have required an hour's recruit. + +As they approached, some little presence of mind happily came to +my command it occurred to me that, to appease the wrath of my +flight, I must now show some confidence: I therefore faced them +as undauntedly as I was able, only charging the nearest of the +attendants to stand by my side. + +When they were within a few yards of me, the king called out, +"Why did you run away?" + +Shocked at a question impossible to answer, yet a little + +Page 289 + +assured by the mild tone of his voice, I instantly forced myself +forward, to meet him, though the internal sensation which +satisfied me this was a step the most proper, to appease his +suspicions and displeasure, was so violently combated by the +tremor of my nerves, that I fairly think I may reckon it the +greatest effort of personal courage-I have ever made. + + + + A ROYAL SALUTE AND ROYAL CONFIDENCES. + +The effort answered : I looked up, and met all his wonted +benignity of countenance, though something still of wildness in +his eyes. Think, however, of my surprise, to feel him put both +his hands round my two shoulders, and then kiss my cheek ! * I +wonder I did not really sink, so exquisite was my affright when I +saw him spread out his arms! Involuntarily, I concluded he meant +to crush me: but the Willises, who have never seen him till this +fatal illness, not knowing how very extraordinary an action this +was from him, simply smiled and looked pleased, supposing, +perhaps, it was his customary salutation! + +I believe, however, it was but the joy of a heart unbridled, now, +by the forms and proprieties of established custom and sober +reason. To see any of his household thus by accident, seemed +such a near approach to liberty and recovery, that who can wonder +it should serve rather to elate than lessen what yet remains of +his disorder! + +He now spoke in such terms of his pleasure in seeing me, that I +soon lost the whole of my terror; astonishment to find him so +nearly well, and gratification to see him so pleased, removed +every uneasy feeling, and the joy that succeeded, in my +conviction of his recovery, made me ready to throw myself at his +feet to express it. + +What conversation followed! When he saw me fearless, he grew more +and more alive, and made me walk close by his side, away from the +attendants, and even the Willises themselves, who, to indulge +him, retreated. I own myself not completely composed, but alarm +I could entertain no more. + +Everything that came uppermost in his mind he mentioned; he +seemed to have just such remains of his flightiness as heated his +imagination without deranging his reason, and robbed him of all +control over his speech, though nearly in his perfect state Of +mind as to his opinions. What did he not say !--He opened + +Page 290 + +his whole heart to me,--expounded all his sentiments, and +acquainted me with all his intentions. + +The heads of his discourse I must give you briefly, as I am sure +you will be highly curious to hear them, and as no accident can +render of much consequence what a man says in such a state of +physical intoxication. He assured me he was quite well--as well +as he had ever been in his life ; and then inquired how I did, +and how I went on? and whether I was more comfortable? If these +questions, in their implications, surprised me, imagine how that +surprise must increase when he proceeded to explain them! He +asked after the coadjutrix, laughing, and saying "Never mind +her!--don't be oppressed--I am your friend! don't let her cast +you down!--I know you have a hard time of it--but don't mind +her!" + +Almost thunderstruck with astonishment, I merely curtsied to his +kind "I am your friend," and said nothing. Then presently he +added, "Stick to your father--stick to your own family--let them +be your objects." + +How readily I assented! +Again he repeated all I have just written, nearly in the same +words, but ended it more seriously: He suddenly stopped, and held +me to stop too, and putting his hand on his breast. in the most +solemn manner, he gravely and slowly said, "I will protect you!-- +I promise you that--and therefore depend upon me!" + +I thanked him ; and the Willises, thinking him rather too +elevated, came to propose my walking on. "No, no, no!" he cried, +a hundred times in a breath and their good humour prevailed, and +they let him again walk on with his new Companion. + +He then gave me a history of his pages, animating almost into a +rage, as he related his subjects of displeasure with them, +particularly with Mr. Ernst, who he told me had been brought up +by himself. I hope his ideas upon these men are the result of +the mistakes of his malady. + +Then he asked me some questions that very greatly &stressed me, +relating to information given him in his illness, from various +motives, but which he suspected to be false, and which I knew he +had reason to suspect: yet was It most dangerous to set anything +right, as I was not aware what might be the views of their having +been stated wrong. I was as discreet as I knew how to be, and I +hope I did no mischief; but this was the worst part of the +dialogue. + +Page 291 + +He next talked to me a great deal of my dear father, and +made a thousand inquiries concerning his "History of Music." +This brought him to his favourite theme, Handel; and he told me +innumerable anecdotes of him, and particularly that celebrated +tale of Handel's saying of himself, when a boy, "While that boy +lives, my music will never want a protector." And this, he said, +I might relate to my father. Then he ran over +most of his oratorios, attempting to sing the subjects of several +airs and choruses, but so dreadfully hoarse that the sound was +terrible. + +Dr. Willis, quite alarmed at this exertion, feared he would do +himself harm, and again proposed a separation. " "No! no! no!" +he exclaimed, "not yet; I have something I must just mention +first." + +Dr. Willis, delighted to comply, even when uneasy at compliance, +again gave way. The good king then greatly affected me. He +began upon my revered old friend, Mrs. Delany and he spoke of her +with such warmth--such kindness! "She was my friend!" he cried, +"and I loved her as a friend! I have made a memorandum when I +lost her--I will show it YOU." + +He pulled out a pocket-book, and rummaged some time, but to no +purpose. The tears stood in his eyes--he wiped them, and Dr. +Willis again became very anxious. "Come, sir," he cried, "now do +you come in and let the lady go on her walk,-come, now you have +talked a long while,-so we'll go in,--if your majesty pleases." + +"No, no!" he cried, "I want to ask her a few questions ; --I have +lived so long out of the world, I know nothing!" + +This touched me to the heart. We walked on together, and he +inquired after various persons, particularly Mrs. Boscawen, +because she was Mrs. Delany's friend! Then, for the same reason, +after Mr. Frederick Montagu,(303) of whom he kindly said, "I +know he has a great regard for me, for all he joined the +opposition." Lord Grey de Wilton, Sir Watkin Wynn, the Duke of +Beaufort, and various others, followed. He then told me he was +very much dissatisfied with several of his state officers, and +meant to form an entire new establishment. He took a paper out +of his pocket-book, and showed me his new list. + +Page 292 + +This was the wildest thing that passed ; and Dr. John Willis now +seriously urged our separating; but he would not consent he had +only three more words to say, he declared, and again he +conquered. + +He now spoke of my father, with still more kindness, and told me +he ought to have had the post of master of the band, and not that +little poor musician Parsons, who was not fit for it: "But Lord +Salisbury," he cried, "used your father vary ill in that +business, and so he did me! However, I have dashed out his name, +and I shall put your father's in,--as soon as I +get loose again!" + +This again--how affecting was this! + +"And what," cried he,"has your father got, at last? nothing but +that poor thing at Chelsea?(304) O fie! fie! fie! But never mind! +I will take care of him. I will do it myself!" Then presently +he added, "As to Lord Salisbury, he is out already, as this +memorandum will Show you, and so are many more. I shall be much +better served and when once I get away, I shall rule with a rod +of iron!" + +This was very unlike himself, and startled the two good doctors, +who could not bear to cross him, and were exulting at seeing his +great amendment, but yet grew quite uneasy at his earnestness and +volubility. Finding we now must part, he stopped to take leave, +and renewed again his charges about the coadjutrix. "Never mind +her!" he cried, "depend upon me! I will be your friend as long as +I live--I here pledge myself to be your friend!" And then he +saluted me again just as at the meeting, and suffered me to go +on. + +What a scene! how variously was I affected by it! but, upon the +whole, how inexpressibly thankful to see him so nearly himself-- +so little removed from recovery! + + + CURIOSITY REGARDING Miss BURNEY'S MEETING WITH THE KING. + +I went very soon after to the queen to whom I was most eager to +avow the meeting, and how little I could help it. Her +astonishment, and her earnestness to hear every particular, were +very great. I told her almost all. Some few things relating to +the distressing questions I could not repeat nor +Page 293 + +many things said of Mrs. Schwellenberg, which would much, very +needlessly, have hurt her. + +This interview, and the circumstances belonging to it, excited +general curiosity, and all the house watched for opportunities to +beg a relation of it. How delighted was I to tell them all my +happy prognostics! + +But the first to hasten to hear of it was Mr. Smelt; eager and +enchanted was the countenance and attention of that truly loyal +and most affectionate adherent to his old master. He wished me +to see Lady Harcourt and the general, and to make them a brief +relation of this extraordinary rencounter but for that I had not +effort enough left. + +I did what I Could, however, to gratify the curiosity of Colonel +Wellbred, which I never saw equally excited. I was passing him +on the stairs, and he followed me, to say he had heard what had +happened--I imagine from the Willises. I told him, with the +highest satisfaction, the general effect produced upon my mind by +the accident, that the king seemed so nearly, himself, that +patience itself could have but little longer trial. He wanted to +hear more particulars: I fancy the Willises had vaguely related +some: "Did he not," he cried, "promise to do something for you?" +I only laughed, and answered, "O yes! if you want any thing, +apply to me;--now is my time!" + +Feb. 3.--I had the great happiness to be assured this morning, by +both the Dr. Willises, that his majesty was by no means the worse +for our long conference. Those good men are inexpressibly happy +themselves in the delightful conviction given me, and by me +spread about, of the near recovery of their royal patient. + +While I was dressing came Mr. Fairly: I could not admit him, but +he said he would try again in the evening. I heard by the tone +of his voice a peculiar eagerness, and doubted not he was +apprized of my adventure. + +He came early, before I could leave my fair companion, and sent +on Goter. I found him reading a new pamphlet of Horne Tooke: +"How long," he cried, "it is since I have been here!" + +I was not flippantly disposed, or I would have said I had thought +the time he spent away always short, by his avowed eagerness to +decamp. + +He made so many inquiries of how I had gone on and what I had +done since I saw him, that I was soon satisfied he was + +Page 294 +not uninformed of yesterday's transaction. I told him so; he +could not deny it, but wished to hear the whole from myself. + +I most readily complied. He listened with the most eager, nay, +anxious attention, scarce breathing: he repeatedly ex_ claimed, +when I had finished, "How I wish I had been there! how I should +have liked to have seen you!" + +I assured him he would not wish that, if he knew the terror I had +suffered. He was quite elated with the charges against Cerberic +tyranny, and expressed himself gratified by the promises of +favour and protection. + + + THE REGENCY BILL. + +Feb. 6.-These last three days have been spent very unpleasantly +indeed: all goes hardly and difficultly with my poor royal +mistress. + +Yet his majesty is now, thank heaven, so much better, that he +generally sees his gentlemen in some part of the evening; and Mr. +Fairly, having no particular taste for being kept in waiting +whole hours for this satisfaction of a few minutes, yet finding +himself, if in the house, indispensably required to attend with +the rest, has changed his Kew visits from nights to mornings. + +He brought me the "Regency Bill!"--I shuddered to hear it named. +It was just printed, and he read it to me, with comments and +explanations, which took up all our time, and in a manner, at +present, the most deeply interesting in which it could be +occupied. + +'Tis indeed a dread event!--and how it may terminate who can say? +My poor royal mistress is much disturbed. Her daughters behave +like angels - they seem content to reside in this gloomy solitude +for ever, if it prove of comfort to their mother, or mark their +duteous affection for their father. + + + INFINITELY LICENTIOUS! + +Feb. 9.-I now walk on the road-side, along the park-wall, every +fair morning, as I shall venture no more into either of the +gardens. In returning this morning, I was overtaken by Mr. +Fairly, who rode up to me, and, dismounting, gave his horse to +his groom, to walk on with me. + +About two hours after I was, however, surprised by a visit from +him in my own room, He came, he said, only to ask + +Page 295 +me a second time how I did, as he should be here now less and +less, the king's amendment rendering his services of smaller and +smaller importance. + +He brought me a new political parody of Pope's "Eloisa to +Abelard," from Mr. Eden to Lord Hawkesbury. It is a most daring, +though very clever imitation. It introduces many of the present +household. Mrs. Schwellenberg is now in eternal abuse from all +these scribblers; Lady Harcourt, and many others, less notorious +to their attacks, are here brought forward. How infinitely +licentious! + + + MISS BURNEY IS TAXED WITH VISITING GENTLEMEN. +Feb. 10.-The amendment of the king is progressive, and without +any reasonable fear, though not without some few drawbacks. The +Willis family were surely sent by heaven to restore peace, and +health, and prosperity to this miserable house + +Lady Charlotte Finch called upon me two days ago, almost +purposely, to inquire concerning the report of my young friend's +marriage; and she made me promise to acquaint her when I received +any further news: at noon, therefore, I went to her apartment at +the Prince of Wales's, with this information. Mr. Fairly, I +knew, was with the equerries in our lodge. Lady Charlotte had +the Duchess of Beaufort and all the Fieldings with her, and +therefore I only left a message, by no means, feeling spirits for +encountering any stranger. + +At noon, when I attended her majesty, she inquired if I had +walked?--Yes.--Where?--In Richmond gardens.--And nowhere else?-- +No. She looked thoughtful,--and presently I recollected my +intended visit to Lady Charlotte, and mentioned it. She cleared +up, and said, "O!--you. went to Lady Charlotte?" + +"Yes, ma'am," I answered, thinking her very absent,--which I +thought with sorrow, as that is so small a part of her character, +that I know not I ever saw any symptom of it before. Nor, in +fact, as I found afterwards, did I see it now. It was soon +explained. Miss Gomme, Mlle. Montmoulin, and Miss Planta, all +dined with Mrs. Schwellenberg to-day. The moment I joined them, +Mrs. Schwellenberg called out,--"Pray, +Miss Berner, for what visit you the gentlemen?" + +"Me?" + +"Yes, you,--and for what, I say?" + +Page 296 + +Amazed, I declared I did not know what she meant. + +"O," cried she, scoffingly, "that won't not do!--we all saw +you,--princess royal the same,--so don't not say that." + +I stared,-and Miss Gomme burst out in laughter, and then Mrs. +Schwellenberg added,--"For what go you over to the Prince of +Wales his house?--nobody lives there but the gentlemen,--nobody +others." + +I laughed too, now, and told her the fact. + +"O," cried she, "Lady Charlotte!--ver true. I had forgot Lady +Charlotte!" + +"O, very well, imagine," cried I,--"so only the gentlemen were +remembered!" + +I then found this had been related to the queen; and Mlle. +Montmoulin said she supposed the visit had been to General +Gordon!--He is the groom now in waiting. + +Then followed an open raillery from Mlle. Montmoulin of Mr. +Fairly's visits; but I stood it very well, assuring her I should +never seek to get rid of my two prison-visitors, Mr. Smelt and +Mr. Fairly, till I Could replace them by better, or go abroad for +others + + + IMPROVEMENT IN THE KING'S, HEALTH. + +Feb. 14.-The king is infinitely better. O that there were +patience in the land ! and this Regency Bill postponed Two of the +princesses regularly, and in turn, attend their royal mother in +her evening visits to the king. Some of those who stay behind +now and then spend the time in Mrs. Schwellenberg's room. They +all long for their turn of going to the king, and count the hours +till it returns. Their dutiful affection is truly beautiful to +behold. + +This evening the Princesses Elizabeth and Mary came into Mrs. +Schwellenberg's room while I was yet there. They sang songs in +two parts all the evening, and vary prettily in point of voice. +Their good humour, however, and inherent condescension and +sweetness of manners, would make a much worse performance +pleasing. + +Feb. 16-All well, and the king is preparing for an interview with +the chancellor Dr. Willis now confides in me all his schemes and +notions; we are growing the best of friends and his son Dr. John +is nearly as trusty. Excellent people! how I love and honour +them all! + +I had a visit at noon from Mr. Fairly. He hastened to tell + +Page 297 + +me the joyful news that the king and queen were just gone out, to +walk in Richmond gardens, arm in arm.--what a delight to all the +house! + +When I came to tea, I found Mr. Fairly waiting in my room. He +had left Kew for Richmond park, but only dined there. We had +much discussion of state business. The king is SO much himself, +that he is soon to be informed of the general situation of the +kingdom. O what an information!--how we all tremble in looking +forward to it., Mr. Fairly thinks Mr. Smelt the fittest man for +this office; Mr. Smelt thinks the same of Mr. Fairly: both have +told me this. + + + MR. FAIRLY AND MR. WINDHAM. + +Mr. Fairly began soon to look at his watch, complaining very much +of the new ceremony imposed, of this attendance of handing the +Queen, which, he said, broke into his whole evening. Yet he does +as little as possible. "The rest of them," he said, " think it +necessary to wait in an adjoining apartment during the whole +interview, to be ready to show themselves when it is over! + +He now sat with his watch in his hand, dreading to pass his time, +but determined not to anticipate its occupation, till half past +nine o'clock, when he drew on his white gloves, ready for action. +But then, stopping short, he desired me to guess whom, amongst my +acquaintance, he had met in London this last time of his going +thither. I could not guess whom he meant--but I saw it was no +common person, by his manner. He then continued--"A tall, thin, +meagre, sallow, black-eyed, penetrating, keen-looking figure." + +I could still not guess,-and he named Mr. Windham. + +"Mr. Windham!" I exclaimed, "no, indeed,--you do not describe him +fairly,-he merits better colouring." + +He accuses me of being very partial to him: however, I am angry +enough with him just now, though firmly persuaded still, that +whatever has fallen from him, that is wrong and unfeeling on the +subject of the Regency, has been the effect of his +enthusiastic friendship for Mr. Burke: for he has never risen, on +this cruel business, but in Support of that most misguided of +Vehement and wild orators. This I have observed in the debates, +and felt that Mr. Burke was not more run away with by violence of +temper, and passion, than Mr. Windham by excess of friendship and +admiration. + +Page 298 +Mr. Fairly has, I fancy, been very intimate with him, for he told +me he observed he was passing him, in Queen Anne Street, and +stopped his horse, to call out, "O ho, Windham! so I see you will +not know me with this servant!" He was on business of the +queen's, and had one of the royal grooms with him. + +Mr. Windham laughed, and said he was very glad to see who it was, +for, on looking at the royal servant, he had just been going to +make his lowest bow. + +"O, I thank you!" returned Mr. Fairly, "you took me, then, for +the Duke of Cumberland," + + + THE KING CONTINUES TO IMPROVE. + +Feb. 17.-The times are now most interesting and critical. Dr. +Willis confided to me this morning that to-day the king is to see +the chancellor. How important will be the result of his +appearance!--the whole national fate depends upon it! + +Feb. 18.-I had this morning the highest gratification, the purest +feelings of delight, I have been regaled with for many months: I +saw, from the road, the king and queen, accompanied by Dr. +Willis, walking in Richmond gardens, near the farm, arm in arm!-- +It was a pleasure that quite melted me, after a separation so +bitter, scenes so distressful-to witness such harmony and +security! Heaven bless and preserve them was all I could +incessantly say while I kept in their sight. I was in the +carriage with Mrs. Schwellenberg at the time. They saw us also, +as I heard afterwards from the queen. + +In the evening Mrs. Arline, Mrs. Schwellenberg's maid, came into +Mrs. Schwellenberg's room, after coffee, and said to me, "If you +please, ma'am, somebody wants you." I concluded this somebody my +shoemaker, or the like; but in my room I saw Mr. Fairly. He was +in high spirits. He had seen his majesty; Dr. Willis had carried +him in. He was received with open arms, and embraced; he found +nothing now remaining of the disorder, but too in much hurry of +spirits. When he had related the particulars of the interview, +he suddenly exclaimed, "How amazingly well you have borne all +this!" + +I made some short answers, and would have taken-refuge in some +other topic: but he seemed bent upon pursuing his own, and +started various questions and surmises, to draw me on, In vain, +however; I gave but general, or evasive answers, + +Page 299 + + THE KING'S HEALTH IS COMPLETELY RESTORED. +This was a sweet, and will prove a most memorable day: +Regency was put off, in the House of Lords, by a motion from +the chancellor!--huzza! huzza! +And this evening, for the first time, the king came upstairs, to +drink tea with the queen and princesses in the drawing-room! My +heart was so full of joy and thankfulness, I could hardly +breathe! Heaven--heaven be praised! What a different house is +this house become!--sadness and terror, that wholly occupied it +so lately, are now flown away, or rather are now driven out ; and +though anxiety still forcibly prevails, 'tis in so small a +proportion to joy and thankfulness, that it is borne as if scarce +an ill! + +Feb. 23.-This morning opened wofully to me, though gaily to the +house; for as my news of his majesty was perfectly comfortable, I +ventured, in direct words, to ask leave to receive my dear +friends Mr. and Mrs. Locke, who were now in town:--in understood +sentences, and open looks, I had already failed again and again. +My answer was-" I have no particular objection, only you'll keep +them to your room." Heavens!--did they ever, unsummoned, quit it? +or have they any wish to enlarge their range of visit? I was +silent, and then heard a history of some imprudence in Lady +Effingham, who had received some of her friends. My resolution, +upon this, I need not mention: I preferred the most lengthened +absence to such a permission. But I felt it acutely! and +I hoped, at least, that by taking no steps, something more +favourable might soon pass. . . . + +The king I have seen again in the queen's dressing-room. On +opening the door, there he stood! He smiled at my start, +and saying he had waited on purpose to see me, added, "I am quite +well now,--I was nearly so when I saw you before, but I could +overtake you better now." And then he left the room. I +was quite melted with joy and thankfulness at this so entire +restoration. + +End of February, 1789. Dieu merci! + +(294) Physician-in-ordinary to the king-ED. + +(295) Her tragedy of "Edwy and Elgiva," which was produced at +Drury Lane in 1795. See note ante, vol. i., p. xlv.--ED. + +(296) The "Douglas cause" was one of the causes celebres of its +tine. Its history is briefly as follows. In 1746 Lady Jane +Douglas married Sir John Stewart. At Paris, in July, 1748, she +gave birth to twins, Archibald and Sholto, of whom the latter +died an infant. Lady Jane herself died in 1753. The surviving +child, Archibald, was always recognized as their son by Lady Jane +and Sir John. In 1760 the Duke of Douglas, the brother of Lady +Jane, being childless, recognised his sister's son as his heir, +and bequeathed to him by will the whole of the Douglas estates, +revoking, for that purpose, a previous testament which he had +made in favour of the Hamilton family. The Duke died in 1761, +and Archibald, who had assumed his mother's, name of Douglas, +duly succeeded to the estates. His right, however, Was disputed +at law by the Duke of Hamilton, on the pretence, which he sought +to establish, that Archibald Douglas was not in fact the son of +his reputed mother. The Lords of Session in Scotland decided in +favour of the Duke of Hamilton, whereupon Mr. Douglas appealed to +the House of Lords, which reversed the decision of the Scottish +court (February 2-, 1769), 1, "thereby confirming to Mr. Douglas +his Filiation and his Fortune."-ED. + +(297) "Miss Fuzilier," the Diary-name for Miss Gunning, whom +Colonel Digby did subsequently marry. "Sir R- F-" is her father, +Sir Robert Gunning.-ED, + +(298) One of the apothecaries to the royal household.-ED. + +(299) Dr. Richard Warren, one of the physicians in ordinary to +the king and the Prince of Wales.-ED. + +(300) The Lord chancellor Thurlow.-ED. + +(301) Mrs. Elizabeth Carter's "Ode to Wisdom," printed in +"Clarissa Harlowe" (vol. ii., letter x.), with a musical setting, +given as the composition of Clarisa herself. The Ode is by no +means without merit of a modest kind, but can scarcely be ranked +the production of a genuine poet.-ED. + +(302) "Emmeline, the Orphan of the Castle," a novel in four +volumes, by Charlotte Smith. Published 1788.-ED. + +(303) Mr. Frederick Montagu was not only a member of the +opposition but One of the managers of the impeachment of Warren +Hastings.-ED. + +(304) Burke's last act before quitting office at the close of +1783, had been to procure for Dr. Burney the post of organist to +Chelsea hospital, to which was attached a salary of fifty pounds +a year.-ED. + + + + + +Page 300 + + + SECTION 15. + (1789-) + + + THE KING'S RECOVERY: + ROYAL VISIT To WEYMOUTH. + + THE KING'S REAPPEARANCE. + +Kew Palace, Sunday, March 1.-What a pleasure was mine this +morning! how solemn, but how grateful! The queen gave me the +"Prayer of Thanksgiving" upon the king's recovery. It was this +morning read in all the churches throughout the metropolis, and +by this day week it will reach every church in the kingdom. It +kept me in tears all the morning,--that such a moment should +actually arrive! after fears so dreadful, scenes so terrible. + +The queen gave me a dozen to distribute among the female +servants: but I reserved one of them for dear Mr. Smelt, who took +it from me in speechless extacy--his fine and feeling eyes +swimming in tears of joy. There is no describing--and I will not +attempt it--the fullness, the almost overwhelming fullness of +this morning's thankful feelings! + +I had the great gratification to see the honoured object of this +joy, for a few minutes, in the queen's dressing-room. He was all +calmness and benevolent graciousness. I fancied my strong +emotion had disfigured me; or perhaps the whole of this long +confinement and most affecting winter may have somewhat marked my +countenance; for the king presently said to me, "Pray, are you +quite well to-day?" + +" I think not quite, sir," I answered, + + +Page 301 + +"She does not look well," said he to the queen; "she looks a +little yellow, I think." + +How kind, to think of anybody and their looks, at this first +moment of reappearance! + + + AN AIRING AND ITS CONSEQUENCES. + +Wednesday, March 4.-A message from Mrs. Schwellenberg this +morning, to ask me to air with her, received my most reluctant +acquiescence; for the frost is so severe that any air, without +exercise, is terrible to me; though, were her atmosphere milder, +the rigour of the season I might not regard. + +When we came to the passage the carriage was not ready. She +murmured most vehemently; and so bitterly cold was I, I could +heartily have joined, had it answered any purpose. In this cold +passage we waited in this miserable manner a full quarter of an +hour; Mrs. Schwellenberg all the time scolding the servants, +threatening them With exile, sending message after message, +repining, thwarting, and contentious. + +Now we were to go, and wait in the king's rooms--now in the +gentlemen's--now in Dr. Willis's--her own--and this, in the end, +took place. + +In our way we encountered Mr. Fairly. He asked where we were +going. "To my own parlour!" she answered. + +He accompanied us in; and, to cheer the gloom, seized some of the +stores of Dr. Willis,--sandwiches, wine and water, and other +refreshments,--and brought them to us, one after another in a +sportive manner, recommending to us to break through common +rules, on such an occasion, and eat and drink to warm ourselves. +Mrs. Schwellenberg stood in stately silence, and bolt upright, +scarce deigning to speak even a refusal; till, upon his saying, +while he held a glass of wine in his hand, "Come, ma'am, do +something eccentric for once--it will warm you," she angrily +answered, "You been reely--what you call--too much hospital!" + +Neither of us could help laughing. "Yes," cried he, "with the +goods of others;--that makes a wide difference in hospitality!" +Then he rattled away upon the honours the room had lately +received, of having had Mr. Pitt, the Chancellor, Archbishop of +Canterbury, etc., to wait in it. This she resented highly, as +seeming to think it more honoured in her absence than presence. + +Page 302 + +At length we took our miserable airing, in which I was treated +with as much fierce harshness as if I was being conveyed to some +place of confinement for the punishment Of some dreadful offence! + +She would have the glass down on my side; the piercing wind cut +my face; I put my muff up to it: this incensed her so much, that +she vehemently declared "she never, no never would trobble any +won to air with her again but go always selfs."--And who will +repine at that? thought I. + +Yet by night I had caught a violent cold, which flew to my face, +and occasioned me dreadful pain. + +March 10.-I have been in too much pain to write these last five +days; and I became very feverish, and universally ill, affected +with the fury of the cold. + +My royal mistress, who could not but observe me very unwell, +though I have never omitted my daily three attendances, which I +have performed with a difficulty all but insurmountable, +concluded I had been guilty of some imprudence: I told the simple +fact of the glass,--but quite simply, and without one +circumstance. She instantly said she was surprised I could catch +cold in an airing, as it never appeared that it disagreed with me +when I took it with Mrs. Delany. + +"No, ma'am," I immediately answered, "nor with Mrs, Locke; nor +formerly with Mrs. Thrale:--but they left me the regulation of +the glass on my own side to myself; or, if they interfered, it +was to draw it up for me." + +This I could not resist. I can be silent; but when challenged to +speak at all, it must be plain truth. + +I had no answer. Illness here--till of late--has been so +unknown, that it is commonly supposed it must be wilful, and +therefore meets little notice, till accompanied by danger, or +incapacity of duty. This is by no means from hardness of +heart-far otherwise ; there is no hardness of heart in any one of +them ; but it is prejudice and want of personal experience. + + + ILLUMINATIONS ON THE KING's RECOVERY. + +March 10.-This was a day of happiness indeed!---a day of such +heartfelt public delight as Could not but suppress all private +disturbance. The general illumination of all London proved the +universal joy of a thankful and most affectionate people, who +have shown so largely, on this trying occasion, how well they +merited the monarch thus benignantly preserved. + + +Page 303 +The queen, from the privy purse, gave private orders for a +Splendid illumination at this palace.(305) The King-- +Providence--Health--and Britannia, were displayed with elegant +devices; the queen and princesses, all but the youngest, went to +town to see the illumination there; and Mr. Smelt was to conduct +the surprise.--It was magnificently beautiful. + +When it was lighted and prepared, the Princess Amelia went to +lead her papa to the front window: but first she dropped on -her +knees, and presented him a paper with these lines-which, at the +queen's desire, I had scribbled in her name, for the happy +occasion:-- + + TO THE KING. + +Amid a rapt'rous nation's praise +That sees Thee to their prayers restor'd, +Turn gently from the gen'ral blaze,-- +Thy Charlotte woos her bosom's lord. + +Turn and behold where, bright and clear, +Depictur'd with transparent art, +The emblems of her thoughts appear, +The tribute of a grateful heart. + +O! small the tribute, were it weigh'd +With all she feels--or half she owes! +But noble minds are best repaid +>From the pure spring whence bounty flows. + +PS. The little bearer begs a kiss +>From dear papa for bringing this. + +I need not, I think, tell you, the little bearer begged not in +vain. The king was extremely pleased. He came into a room +belonging to the princesses, in which we had a party to look at +the illuminations, and there he stayed above an hour; cheerful, +composed, and gracious! all that could merit the great national +testimony to his worth this day paid him. + + + MR FAIRLY ON MISS BURNEY's DUTIES. + +Windsor, March 18.-A little rap announced Mr. Fairly, who came +in, saying, "I am escaped for a little while, to have some quiet +conversation with you, before the general assemblage and storm of +company." He then gravely said, "Tomorrow I shall take leave of +you--for a long time + + +Page 304 + +He intended setting off to-morrow morning for town, by the +opportunity of the equerries' coach, which would convey him to +Kew, where his majesty was to receive an address. + +He told me, with a good deal of humour, that he suspected me of +being rather absent in my official occupation, from little +natural care about toilettes and such things. I could not +possibly deny this,--on the contrary, I owned I had, at first, +found my attention unattainable, partly from flutter and +embarrassment, and partly from the reasons he so discerningly +assigned. "I have even," I added, "and not seldom, handed her +fan before her gown, and her gloves before her cap but I am +better in all that now!" + +"I should think all that very likely," cried he, smiling; "yet it +is not very trifling with her majesty, who is so exact and +precise, such things seem to her of moment." + +This is truth itself. + +I said, "No,--she is more gracious, more kind, indeed, to me than +ever: she scarce speaks, scarce turns to me without a smile." + +" Well," cried he, extremely pleased, "this must much soften your +employment and confinement. And, indeed, it was most natural to +expect this time of distress should prove a cement." + + + + A VISIT FROM MISS FUZILIER. + +I think I need not mention meeting my beloved Fredy in town, on +our delightful excursion thither for the grand restoration +Drawing-room, in which the queen received the compliments and +congratulations of almost all the Court part of the nation. Miss +Cambridge worked me, upon this occasion, a suit, in silks upon +tiffany, most excessively delicate and pretty, and much admired +by her majesty. + +All I shall mention of this town visit is, that, the day after +the great Drawing-room, Miss Fuzilier, for the first time since I +have been in office, called upon me to inquire after the queen. +Miss Tryon, and Mrs. Tracey, and Mrs. Fielding were with her. + +She looked serious, sensible, interesting. I thought instantly of +the report concerning Mr. Fairly, and of his disavowal : but it +was singular that the only time she opened her mouth to speak was +to name him! Miss Tryon, who chatted incessantly, had spoken of +the great confusion at the Drawing-room, from the crowd: "It was +intended to be better regulated," said Miss + + +Page 305 + + F., "Mr. Fairly told me." She dropped her eye the moment she +had spoken his name. After this, as before it, she said nothing. +. . . + +Mr. George Villiers, a younger brother of Lord Clarendon, was now +here as groom of the bedchamber. He is very clever, somewhat +caustigue, but so loyal and vehement in the king's cause, that he +has the appellation, from his party, of "The Tiger." + +He would not obtain it for his person, which is remarkably slim, +slight, and delicate. + + + A COMMAND FROM HER MAJESTY. + +Kew, April, 1789. My dearest friends, - I have her majesty's +commands to inquire--whether you have any of a certain breed of +poultry? + +N.B. What breed I do not remember. + +And to say she has just received a small group of the same +herself. + +N.B. The quantity I have forgotten. + +And to add, she is assured they are something very rare and +scarce, and extraordinary and curious. + +N.B. By whom she was assured I have not heard. + +And to subjoin, that you must send word if you have any of the +same sort. + +N.B. How you are to find that out, I cannot tell. + +And to mention, as a corollary, that, if you have none of them, +and should like to have some, she has a cock and a hen she can +spare, and will appropriate them to Mr. Locke and my dearest +Fredy. + +This conclusive stroke so pleased and exhilarated me, that +forthwith I said you would both be enchanted, and so forgot all +the preceding particulars. And I said, moreover, that I knew you +would rear them, and cheer them, and fondle them like your +children. + +So now-pray write a very fair answer fairly, in fair hand, and to +her fair purpose. + + + + + COLONEL MANNERS MYSTIFIES MRS. SCHWELLENBERG. + +Queen's Lodge, Windsor, April.-Mrs. Schwellenberg is softened +into nothing but civility and courtesy to me. To what the change +is owing I cannot conjecture; but I do all that in me lies +Page 306 + +to support it, preferring the entire sacrifice of every moment, +from our dinner to twelve at night, to her harshness and horrors. +Nevertheless, a lassitude of existence creeps sensibly upon me. + +Colonel Manners, however, for the short half-hour of tea-time, is +irresistibly diverting. He continues my constant friend and +neighbour, and, while he affects to play off the coadjutrix to +advantage, he nods at me, to draw forth my laughter or +approbation, with the most alarming undisguise. I often fear her +being affronted ; but naturally she admires him very much for his +uncommon share of beauty, and makes much allowance for his +levity. However, the never-quite-comprehended affair of the +leather bed-cover,(306) has in some degree intimidated her ever +since, as she constantly apprehends that, if he were provoked, he +would play her some trick. + +He had been at White's ball, given in town upon his majesty's +recovery. We begged some account of it: he ranted away with +great fluency, uttering little queer sarcasms at Mrs, +Schwellenberg by every opportunity, and colouring when he had +done, with private fear of enraging her. This, however, she +suspected not, or all his aim had been lost; for to alarm her is +his delight. + +"I liked it all," he said, in summing up his relation, "very +well, except the music, and I like any caw-caw-caw, better than +that sort of noise,--only you must not tell the king I say that, +ma'am, because the king likes it." + +She objected to the words " must not," and protested she would +not be directed by no one, and would tell it, if she pleased. + +Upon this, he began a most boisterous threatening of the evil +consequences which would accrue to herself, though in so +ludicrous a manner, that how she could suppose him serious was my +wonder. "Take care of yourself, ma'am," he cried, holding up his +finger as if menacing a child; "take care of yourself! I am not +to be provoked twice!" + +This, after a proud resistance, conquered her - and, really +frightened at she knew not what, she fretfully exclaimed, "Ver +well, sir!--I wish I had not come down! I won't no more! you +might have your tea when you can get It." + +Returning to his account, he owned he had been rather a little +musical himself for once, which was when they all sang "God save +the king," after the supper; for then he joined in + +Page 307 +the chorus, as well and as loud as any of them, "though some of +the company," he added, "took the liberty to ask me not to be so +loud, because they pretended I was out of tune; but it was In +such a good cause that I did not mind that." + +She was no sooner recovered than the attack became personal +again; and so it has continued ever since: he seems bent upon +"playing her off" in all manners; he braves her, then compliments +her, assents to her opinion, and the next moment contradicts her; +pretends uncommon friendship for her, and then laughs in her +face. But his worst manoeuvre is a perpetual application to me, +by looks and sly glances, which fill me with terror of passing +for an accomplice; and the more, as I find it utterly impossible +to keep grave during these absurdities. And yet, the most +extraordinary part of the story is that she really likes him! +though at times she is so angry, she makes vows to keep to her +own room. + +Mr. George Villiers, with far deeper aim, sneers out his own more +artful satire, but is never understood ; while Colonel Manners +domineers with so high a hand, he carries all before him; and +whenever Mrs. Schwellenberg, to lessen her mortification, draws +me into the question, he instantly turns off whatever she begins +into some high-flown compliment, so worded also as to convey some +comparative reproach. This offends more than all. + +When she complains to me of him, in his absence, I answer he is a +mere schoolboy, for mischief, without serious design of +displeasing: but she tells me she sees he means to do her some +harm, and she will let the king know, if he goes on at that rate, +for she does not choose such sort of familiarness. + +Once she apologised suddenly for her English, and Colonel Manners +said, "O, don't mind that, ma'am, for I take no particular notice +as to your language." + +"But," says she, "Miss Berner might tell me, when I speak it +sometimes not quite right, what you call." + +"O dear no, ma'am!" exclaimed he; "Miss Burney is of too mild a +disposition for that: she could not correct you strong enough to +do you good." + +"Oh!-ver well, sir!" she cried, confounded by his effrontery. + +One day she lamented she had been absent when there was so much +agreeable company in the house; "And now," she + + +Page 308 +added, "now that I am comm back, here is nobody.--not one!--no +society!" . + +He protested this was not to be endured, and told her that to +reckon all us nobody was so bad, he should resent it. + +"What will you do, my good colonel?" she cried. + +"O ma'am, do?--I will tell Dr. Davis." + +"And who bin he?" + +"Why, he's the master of Eton school, ma'am," with a thundering +bawl in her ears, that made her stop them. + +"No, sir!" she cried, indignantly, "I thank you for that, I won't +have no Dr. schoolmaster, what you call! I bin too old for +that." + +"But, ma'am, he shall bring you a Latin oration upon this +subject, and you must hear it!" + +"O, 'tis all the same! I shan't not understand it, so I won't +not hear it." + +"But you must, ma'am. If I write it, I shan't let you off so:-- +you must hear it!" + +"No, I won't!--Miss Berner might,--give it her." + +"Does Miss Burney know Latin?" cried Mr. G. Villiers. + +"Not one word," quoth I. + +"I believe that cried she "but she might hear it the sam!" + + + THE SAILOR PRINCE. + +On the 2nd of May I met Colonel Manners, waiting at the corner of +a passage leading towards the queen's apartments. "Is the king, +ma'am," he cried, "there? because Prince William(307) is come." + +I had heard he was arrived in town,-and with much concern, since +it was without leave of the king. It was in the illness, indeed, +of the king he sailed to England, and when he had probably all +the excuse of believing his royal father incapable of further +governance. How did I grieve for the feelings of that royal +father, in this idea! yet it certainly offers for Prince William +his best apology. + +In the evening, while Mrs. Schwellenberg, Mrs. Zachary and myself +were sitting in the eating parlour, the door was suddenly opened +by Mr. Alberts, the queen's page, and "prince William" was +announced. + +He came to see Mrs. Schwellenberg. He is handsome, as + +Page 309 + +are all the royal family, though he is not of a height to be +called a good figure. He looked very hard at the two +strangers, but made us all sit, very civilly, and drew a chair +for himself, and began to discourse with the most unbounded +openness and careless ease, of everything that Occurred to him. + +Mrs. Schwellenberg said she had pitied him for the grief he must +have felt at the news of the king's illness : "Yes," cried he, "I +was very sorry, for his majesty, very sorry indeed, -no man loves +the king better ; of that be assured. but all sailors +love their king. And I felt for the queen, too,--I did, faith. +I was horridly agitated when I saw the king first. I could +hardly stand." + +Then Mrs. Schwellenberg suddenly said, "Miss Berner, now you +might see his royal highness; you wanted it so moch, and now you +might do it. Your royal highness, that is Miss Berner." + +He rose very civilly, and bowed, to this strange freak of an +introduction; and, of course, I rose and Curtsied low, and waited +his commands to sit again; which were given instantly, with great +courtesy. + +"Ma'am," cried he, "you have a brother in the service?" "Yes, +sir," I answered, much pleased with this professional attention. +He had not, he civilly said, the pleasure to know him, but he had +heard of him. + +Then, turning suddenly to Mrs. Schwellenberg, "Pray," cried he, " +what is become of Mrs.--Mrs.--Mrs. Hogentot?" + +"O, your royal highness!" cried she, stifling much offence, "do +you mean the poor Haggerdorn?--O your royal highness! have you +forgot her?" + +"i have, upon my word!" cried he, plumply "upon my soul, I have!" + +Then turning again to me, "I am very happy, ma'am," he cried, "to +see you here; it gives me great pleasure the queen should appoint +the sister of a sea-officer to so eligible a situation. As long +as she has a brother in the service, ma'am,, cried he to Mrs. +Schwellenberg, "I look upon her as one of us. O, faith I do! I +do indeed! she is one of the corps." + +Then he said he had been making acquaintance with a new princess, +one he did not know nor remember-Princess Amelia. "Mary, too,"-- +he said, "I had quite forgot; and they did not tell me who she +was; so I went up to her, and, without in the least recollecting +her, she's so monstrously grown, I said, 'Pray, ma'am, are you +one of the attendants?'" + +Princess Sophia is his professed favourite. "I have had the + +Page 310 + +honour," he cried, "of about an hour's conversation with that +young lady, in the old style; though I have given up my mad +frolics now. To be sure, I had a few in that style formerly; +upon my word I am almost ashamed;--Ha! ha! ha!" + +Then, recollecting particulars, he laughed vehemently; but Mrs. +Schwellenberg eagerly interrupted his communications. I fancy +some of them might have related to our own sacred person! + +"Augusta," he said "looks very well,--a good face and +countenance,--she looks interesting,--she looks as if she knew +more than she Would say; and I like that character." + +He stayed a full hour, chatting in this good-humoured and +familiar manner. + + + LOYAL RECEPTION OF THE KING IN THE NEW FOREST. + +Thursday, June 25.-This morning I was called before five o'clock, +though various packages and business had kept me up till near +three. + +The day was rainy, but the road was beautiful; Windsor great +park, in particular, is charming. The crowds increased as we +advanced, and at Winchester the town was one head. I saw Dr. +Warton, but could not stop the carriage. The king was everywhere +received with acclamation. His popularity is greater than ever. +Compassion for his late sufferings seems to have endeared him now +to all conditions of men. + +At Romsey, on the steps of the town-hall, an orchestra was +formed, and a band of musicians, in common brown coarse cloth and +red neckcloths, and even in carters' loose gowns, made a chorus +of "God save the king," In which the countless multitude joined, +in such loud acclamation, that their loyalty and heartiness, and +natural joy, almost surprised me into a sob before I knew myself +at all affected by them. + +The New Forest Is all beauty, and when we approached Lyndhurst +the crowds wore as picturesque an appearance as the landscapes ; +They were all in decent attire, and, the great space giving them +full room, the cool beauty of the verdure between the groups took +away all idea of inconvenience, and made their live gaiety a +scene to joy beholders. + +Carriages of all sorts lined the road-side :-chariots, chaises, +landaus, carts, waggons, whiskies, gigs, phatons--mixed and +intermixed, filled Within and surrounded without by faces all +glee and delight. + + +Page 311 + +Such was the scenery for miles before we reached Lyndhurst. The +old law of the forest, that his majesty must be presented with +two milk-white greyhounds, peculiarly decorated, upon his +entrance into the New Forest, gathered together multitudes to see +the show. A party, also, of foresters, habited in green, and +each with a bugle-horn, met his majesty at the same time. + +Arrived at Lyndhurst, we drove to the Duke of Gloucester's. The +royal family were just before us, but the two colonels came and +handed us through the crowd. The house, intended for a mere +hunting-seat, was built by Charles II., and seems quite +unimproved and unrepaired from its first foundation. It is the +king's, but lent to the Duke of Gloucester. It is a straggling, +inconvenient, old house, but delightfully situated, in a +village,--looking, indeed, at present, like a populous town, from +the amazing concourse of people that have crowded into it. + +The bow-men and archers and bugle-horns are to attend the king +while he stays here, in all his rides. + +The Duke of Gloucester was ready to receive the royal family, who +are all in the highest spirits and delight. + +I have a small old bed-chamber, but a large and commodious +parlour, in which the gentlemen join Miss Planta and me to +breakfast and to drink tea. They dine at the royal table. We +are to remain here some days. + +During the king's dinner, which was in a parlour looking into the +garden, he permitted the people to come to the window; and their +delight and rapture in seeing their monarch at table, with the +evident hungry feeling it occasioned, made a contrast of +admiration and deprivation, truly comic. They crowded, however, +so excessively, that this can be permitted them no more. They +broke down all the paling, and much of the hedges, and some of +the windows, and all by eagerness and multitude, for they were +perfectly civil and well-behaved. + +In the afternoon the royal party came into my parlour; and the +moment the people saw the star, they set up such a shout as made +a ring all around the village; for my parlour has the same view +with the royal rooms into the garden, where this crowd was +assembled, and the new rapture was simply at seeing the king in a +new apartment! + +They all walked out, about and around the village, in the +evening, and the delighted mob accompanied them. The + + +Page 312 + +moment they stepped out of the house, the people, With voice, +struck up "God save the king!" I assure you I cried like a child +twenty times in the day, at the honest and rapturous effusions of +such artless and disinterested loyalty. The king's illness and +recovery make me tender, as Count Mannuccia said, upon every +recollection. + +These good villagers continued singing this loyal song during the +whole walk, without any intermission, except to shout "huzza!" at +the end of every stanza. They returned so hoarse, that I longed +to give them all some lemonade. Probably they longed for +something they would have called better! 'Twas well the king +could walk no longer; I think, if he had, they would have died +singing around him. + +June 30.-We continued at Lyndhurst five days and the tranquillity +of the life, and the beauty of the country, would have made it +very regaling to me indeed, but for the fatigue of having no +maid, yet being always in readiness to play the part of an +attendant myself. + +I went twice to see the house of Sir Phillip Jennings Clerke, my +old acquaintance at Streatham. I regretted he was no more; he +would so much have prided and rejoiced in shewing his place. His +opposition principles would not have interfered with that private +act of duty from a subject to a sovereign. How did I call to +mind Mrs. Thrale, upon this spot! not that I had seen it with +her, or ever before; but that its late owner was one of her +sincerest admirers. + +Miss Planta and myself drove also to Southampton, by the queen's +direction. It is a pretty clean town, and the views from the +Southampton water are highly picturesque : but all this I had +seen to far greater advantage, with Mr. and Mrs. and Miss Thrale. +Ah, Mrs. Thrale!--In thinking her over, as I saw again the same +spot, how much did I wish to see with it the same--once so dear-- +companion! + +On the Sunday we all went to the parish church ; and after the +service, instead of a psalm, imagine our surprise to hear the +whole congregation join in "God save the king!" Misplaced as +this was in a church, its intent was so kind, loyal, and +affectionate, that I believe there was not a dry eye amongst +either singers or hearers. The king's late dreadful illness has +rendered this song quite melting to me. +This day we quitted Lyndhurst; not without regret, for so private +is its situation, I could stroll about in its beautiful +neighbourhood quite alone. + + +Page 313 + + THE ROYAL JOURNEY TO WEYMOUTH. + +The journey to Weymouth was one scene of festivity and rejoicing. +The people were everywhere collected, and everywhere delighted. +We passed through Salisbury, where a magnificent arch was +erected, of festoons of flowers, for the king's carriage to pass +under, and mottoed with "The king restored," and "Long live the +king," in three divisions. The green bowmen accompanied the +train thus far; and the clothiers and manufacturers here met it, +dressed out in white loose frocks, flowers, and ribbons, with +sticks or caps emblematically decorated from their several +manufactories. And the acclamations with which the king was +received amongst them--it was a rapture past description. At +Blandford there was nearly the same ceremony. + +At every gentleman's seat which we passed, the owners and their +families stood at the gate, and their guests Or neighbours were +in carriages all round. + +At Dorchester the crowd seemed still increased. The city had so +antique an air, I longed to investigate its old buildings. The +houses have the most ancient appearance of any that are inhabited +that I have happened to see: and inhabited they were indeed! +every window-sash was removed, for face above face to peep Out, +and every old balcony and all the leads of the houses seemed +turned into booths for fairs. It seems, also, the most populous +town I have seen; I judge by the concourse of the young and +middle-aged--those we saw everywhere alike, as they may gather +together from all quarters-but from the amazing quantity of +indigenous residers; old women and young children. There seemed +families of ten or twelve of the latter in every house; and the +old women were so numerous, that they gave the whole scene the +air of a rural masquerade. + +Girls, with chaplets, beautiful young creatures, strewed the +entrance of various villages with flowers. + + + WELCOME TO WEYMOUTH. + +Gloucester House, which we now inhabit, at Weymouth, is Situated +in front of the sea, and the sands of the bay before it are +perfectly smooth and soft. The whole town, and Melcomb Regis, +and half the county of Dorset, seemed assembled to +welcome their majesties. + +I have here a very good parlour, but dull, from its aspect. + + +Page 314 + +Nothing but the sea at Weymouth affords any life Or Spirit. My +bed-room is in the attics. Nothing like living at a Court for +exaltation. Yet even with this gratification, which extends to +Miss Planta, the house will only hold the females of the party. +The two adjoining houses are added, for the gentlemen, an(] the +pages, and some other of the suite, cooks, etc.--but the footmen +are obliged to lodge still farther off. + +The bay is very beautiful, after its kind; a peninsula shuts out +Portland island and the broad ocean. + +The king, and queen, and princesses, and their suite, walked out +in the evening; an immense crowd attended them--sailors bargemen, +mechanics, countrymen; and all united with so vociferous a volley +of "God save the king," that the noise was stunning. + +At near ten o'clock Lord Courtown came into my parlour, as it is +called, and said the town was all illuminated, and invited Miss +Planta and me to a walk upon the sands. Their majesties were +come in to supper. We took a stroll under his escort, and found +it singularly beautiful, the night being very fine, and several +boats and small vessels lighted up, and in motion upon the sea. +The illumination extended through Melcomb Regis and Weymouth. +Gloucester-row, in which we live, is properly in Melcomb Regis; +but the two towns join each other, and are often confounded. + +The preparations of festive loyalty were universal. Not a child +could we meet that had not a bandeau round its head, cap, or hat, +of "God save the king;" all the bargemen wore it in cockades and +even the bathing-women had it in large coarse girdles round their +waists. It is printed in golden letters upon most of the +bathing-machines, and in various scrolls and devices it adorns +every shop and almost every house in the two towns. + + + THE ROYAL PLUNGE WITH MUSICAL HONOURS. + "YOU MUST KNEEL, SIR!" + + Gloucester House, Weymouth, Wednesday, July 9.-We are settled +here comfortably enough. Miss Planta and I breakfast as well as +dine together alone; the gentlemen have a breakfast parlour in +the adjoining house, and we meet only at tea, and seldom then. +They have all acquaintance here, in this Gloucester-row, and +stroll from the terrace or the sands, to visit them during the +tea vacation time. + + +Page 315.' + +I like this much: I see them just enough to keep up sociability, +without any necessary constraint; for I attend the tea-table +only at my own hour, and they come, or not, according to +chance or their convenience. + +The king bathes, and with great success; a machine follows the +royal one into the sea, filled with fiddlers, who play "God save +the king," as his majesty takes his plunge! + +I am delighted with the soft air and soft footing upon the sands, +and stroll up and down them morning, noon, and night. As they +are close before the house, I can get to and from them in a +moment. + +Her majesty has graciously hired a little maid between Miss +Planta and me, who comes for the day. We have no accommodation +for her sleeping here; but it is an unspeakable relief to our +personal fatigues. + +Dr. Gisburne is here, to attend his majesty; and the queen has +ordered me to invite him to dine at my table. He comes +regularly. + +(Fanny Burney to Dr. Burney.) +Gloucester Rowe, Weymouth, July 13, 1789. +My dearest padre's kind letter was most truly welcome to me. +When I am so distant, the term of absence or of silence seems +always doubly long to me. + +The bay here is most beautiful; the sea never rough, generally +calm and gentle, and the sands perfectly smooth and pleasant. I +have not bathed, for I have had a cold in my head, which I caught +at Lyndhurst, and which makes me fear beginning; but I have hopes +to be well enough to-morrow, and thenceforward to ail nothing +more. It is my intention to cast away all superfluous complaints +into the main ocean, which I think quite sufficiently capacious +to hold them ; and really my little frame will find enough to +carry and manage without them. . . . + +His majesty is in delightful health, and much-improved spirits. +All agree he never looked better. The loyalty of all this place +is excessive; they have dressed out every street with labels of +"God save the king:" all the shops have it over the doors: all +the children wear it in their caps, all the labourers in their +hats, and all the sailors in their voices, for they never +approach the house without shouting it aloud, nor see the king, +or his shadow, without beginning to huzza, and going on to three +cheers. + + +Page 316 + +The bathing-machines make it their motto over the windows; and +those bathers that belong to the royal dippers wear it in +bandeaus on their bonnets, to go into the sea; and have it again, +in large letters, round their waists, to encounter the waves. +Flannel dresses, tucked up, and no shoes nor stockings, with +bandeaus and girdles, have a most singular appearance, and when +first I surveyed these loyal nymphs it was with some difficulty I +kept my features in order. Nor is this all. Think but Of the +Surprise of his majesty when, the first time of his bathing, he +had no sooner popped his royal head under water than a band of +music, concealed in a neighbouring machine, struck up "God save +great George our king." + +One thing, however, was a little unlucky ,--when the mayor and +burgesses came with the address, they requested leave to kiss +hands: this was graciously accorded; but, the mayor advancing, in +a common way, to take the queen's hand, as he might that of any +lady mayoress, Colonel Gwynn, who stood by, whispered, "You must +kneel, sir!" He found, however, that he took no notice of this +hint, but kissed the queen's hand erect. As he passed him, in +his way back, the colonel Said, "You should have knelt, Sir!" + +"Sir," answered the poor mayor, "I cannot." + +"Everybody does, sir." + +"Sir,--I have a wooden leg!" + +Poor man! 'twas such a surprise! and such an excuse as no one +could dispute. But the absurdity of the matter followed--all the +rest did the same; taking the same privilege, by the example, +without the same or any cause! + + + ROYAL DOINGS IN AND ABOUT WEYMOUTH. + + +July 15.-The Magnificent, a man-of-war Of 74 guns, commanded by +an old captain of James's (Onslow), is now stationed at the +entrance of the bay, for the security at once and pleasure of the +king; and a fine frigate, the Southampton, Captain Douglas, is +nearer in, and brought for the king to cruise about. Captain +Douglas is nephew to Sir Andrew Snape Hammond, who married a +cousin of our Mr. Crisp. The king and royal party have been to +visit the frigate. Miss Planta and myself went to see the +ceremony from a place called the Look-out,--a beautiful spot. +But I have not much taste for sea receptions and honours: the +firing a salute is SO strange a mode of hospitality and +politeness. . . . + + +Page 317 + +Mrs. Gwynn(308) is arrived, and means to spend the royal +season here. She lodges at the hotel just by, and we have met +several times. She is very soft and pleasing, and still as +beautiful as an angel. We have had two or three long tête-Š- +têtes and talked over, with great pleasure, anecdotes Of Our +former mutual acquaintances--Dr. Johnson, Sir Joshua Reynolds, +Mrs. Thrale, Baretti, Miss Reynolds, Miss Palmer, and her old +admirer, Dr. Goldsmith, of whom she relates--as who does not?--a +thousand ridiculous traits. + +The queen is reading Mrs. Piozzi's tour(309) to me, instead of my +reading it to her. She loves reading aloud, and in this work +finds me an able commentator. How like herself, how +characteristic is every line--Wild, entertaining, flighty, +inconsistent, and clever! + +July 16.-Yesterday we all wen to the theatre. The king has taken +the centre front box for himself, family, and attendants. The +side boxes are too small. The queen ordered places for Miss +Planta and me, which are in the front row of a box next but one +to the royals. Thus, in this case, Our want of rank to be in +their public suite gives us better seats than those high enough +to stand behind them, + +Lady Sydney, Lady Courtown's sister, and Miss Townshend, her +daughter, are in the intermediate box, and were very sociable. I +have met them here occasionally, and like them very well. + +'Tis a pretty little theatre: but its entertainment was quite in +the barn style a mere medley,--songs, dances, imitations,- and +all very bad. But Lord Chesterfield, who is here, and who seems +chief director, promises all will be better. + +This morning the royal party went to Dorchester, and I strolled +upon the sands with Mrs. Gwynn. We overtook a lady, of a very +majestic port and demeanour, who solemnly returned Mrs. Gwynn's +salutation, and then addressed herself to me with similar +gravity. I saw a face I knew, and of very +uncommon beauty; but did not immediately recollect it was Mrs. +Siddons. She is come here, she says, solely for her health : she +has spent some days with Mrs. Gwynn, at General Harcourt's. Her +husband was with her, and a sweet child. I wished to have tried +if her solemnity would have worn away + + +Page 318 +by length of conversation ; but I was obliged to hasten home. +But my dearest Fredy's opinion, joined to that of my Sister +Esther, satisfies me I was a loser by this necessary forbearance. + +Sunday, July 26.-Yesterday we wen again to the play, and saw "The +Midnight Hour" and "The Commissary." The latter from the +"Bourgeois Gentilhomme," is comic to convulsion and the burlesque +of Quick and Mrs. Wells united made ne laugh quite +immoderately.(310) + +July 29.-We went to the play, and saw Mrs. Siddons in Rosalind. +She looked beautifully, but too large for that shepherd's dress; +and her gaiety sits not naturally upon her,--it seems more like +disguised gravity. I must own my admiration for her confined to +her tragic powers; and there it is raised so high that I feel +mortified, in a degree, to see her so much fainter attempts and +success in comedy. + + + A PATIENT AUDIENCE. + +Monday, Aug. 3.-The whole royal party went to see Lulworth +Castle, intending to be back to dinner, and go to the play at +night, which their majesties had ordered, with Mrs. Siddons to +play Lady Townly.(311) Dinner-time, however, came and passed, +and they arrived not. They went by sea, and the wind proved +contrary; and about seven o'clock a hobby groom was despatched +thither by land, with intelligence that they had only reached +Lulworth Castle at five o'clock. They meant to be certainly back +by eight ; but sent their commands that the farce might be +performed first, and the play wait them. + +The manager repeated this to the audience,--already waiting and +wearied but a loud applause testified their agreeability to +whatever could be proposed. The farce, however, was much sooner +over than the passage from Lulworth Castle. It was ten o'clock +when they landed! And all this time the audience--spectators +rather--quietly waited! + +They landed, just by the theatre, and went to the house of Lady +Pembroke, who is now here in attendance upon the queen : and +there they Sent home for the king's page, with + +Page 319 + +a wig, etc.; and the queen's wardrobe woman, with similar +decorations; and a message to Miss Planta and me, that we might +go at once to the theatre. + +We obeyed; and soon after they appeared, and were received with +the most violent gusts of joy and huzzas, even from the galleries +over their heads, whose patience had not the reward of seeing +them at last. Is not this a charming trait of provincial +popularity? + +Mrs. Siddons, in her looks, and the tragic part, was exquisite. + + + A FATIGUING BUT PLEASANT DAY. + +Aug. 4.-To-day all the royals went to Sherborne Castle. My day +being perfectly at liberty, Mrs. Gwynn stayed and spent it with +me. The weather was beautiful; the sea-breezes here keep off +intense heat in the warmest season. We walked first to see the +shrubbery and plantation of a lady, Mrs. B--, who has a very +pretty house about a mile and a half out of the town. Here we +rested, and regaled ourselves with sweet flowers, and then +proceeded to the old castle,-its ruins rather,- which we most +completely examined, not leaving one stone' untrod, except such +as must have precipitated us into the sea. This castle is built +almost in the sea, upon a perpendicular rock, and its situation, +therefore, is nobly bold and striking. It is little more now +than walls, and a few little winding staircases at its four +corners. + +I had not imagined my beautiful companion could have taken so +much pleasure from an excursion so romantic and ,lonely ; but she +enjoyed it very much, clambered about as unaffectedly as if she +had lived in rural scenes all her life, and left nothing +unexamined. + +We then prowled along the sands at the foot of the adjoining +rocks, and picked up sea-weeds and shells - but I do not think +they were such as to drive Sir Ashton Lever,(312) or the Museum +keepers, to despair! We had the queen's two little dogs, Badine +and Phillis, for our guards and associates. We returned home to +a very late tea, thoroughly tired, but very much pleased. To me +it was the only rural excursion I had taken for more than three +years. + + Page 320 +The royal party came not home till past eleven o'clock. The +queen was much delighted with Sherborne Castle, which abounds +with regal curiosities, honourably acquired by the family. + + + + LULWORTH CASTLE. + +Aug. 8.--To-day we went to Lulworth Castle; but not with Mrs. +Gwynn. Her majesty ordered our royal coach and four, and +directed me to take the two De Lucs. + +Lulworth Castle is beautifully situated, with a near and noble +view of the sea, It has a spacious and very fine park, and +commands a great extent of prospect. It is the property of Mr. +Weld, a Roman Catholic, whose eldest brother was first husband of +Mrs. Fitzherbert.(313) A singular circumstance, that their +majesties should visit a house in which, so few years ago, she +might have received them. + +There is in it a Roman Catholic chapel that is truly elegant,--a +Pantheon in miniature,--and ornamented with immense expense and +richness. The altar is all of finest variegated marbles, and +precious stones are glittering from every angle. The priests' +vestments, which are very superb, and all the sacerdotal array, +were shown us as particular favours: and Colonel Goldsworthy +comically said he doubted not they had incense and oblations for +a week to come, by way of purification for our heretical +curiosity. + +The castle is built with four turrets. It is not very ancient, +and the inside is completely modern, and fitted up with great +elegance. It abounds in pictures of priests, saints, monks, and +nuns, and is decorated with crosses and Roman Catholic devices +without end. They show one room in which two of our kings have +slept; Charles II. and poor James II. + +We returned home to dinner, and in the evening went to the + +Page 321 +play. Mrs. Siddons performed Mrs. Oakley.(313) What pity thus +to throw away her talents ! but the queen dislikes tragedy, and +the honour to play before the royal family blinds her to the +little credit acquired by playing comedy. + + + THE ROYAL PARTY AT THE ASSEMBLY Rooms. + +Sunday, Aug 9.-The king had a council yesterday, which brought +most of the great officers of state to Weymouth. + +In the evening, her majesty desired Miss Planta and me to go to +the rooms, whither they commonly go themselves on Sunday +evenings, and, after looking round them, and speaking where they +choose, they retire to tea in an inner apartment with their own +party, but leave the door wide open, both to see and be seen. + +The rooms are convenient and spacious : we found them very full. +As soon as the royal party came, a circle was formed, and they +moved round it, just as before the ball at St. James's, the king +one way with his chamberlain, the new-made Marquis of Salisbury, +and the queen the other with the princesses, Lady Courtown, etc. +The rest of the attendants planted themselves round in the +circle. + +I had now the pleasure, for the first time, to see Mr. Pitt but +his appearance is his least recommendation ; it is neither noble +nor expressive. Lord Chatham, the Duke of Richmond, Mr. +Villiers, Lord Delawarr, etc., were in the circle, and spoken to +a long time each. + + + A JOURNEY To EXETER AND SALTRAM. + +Thursday, Aug. 13.-We began our Western tour. We all went in the +same order as we set out from Windsor. We arrived at Exeter to a +very late dinner. We were lodged at the Deanery; and Dr. +Buller, the dean, desired a conference with me, for we came +first, leaving the royals at Sir George Young's. He was very +civil, and in highest glee: I had never seen him before; but he +told me he introduced himself, by this opportunity, at the +express desire of Mrs. Chapone and Mrs. Castle, who were both his +relations, as well as of Dr. Warton. I was glad to hear myself +yet remembered by them. + +The crowds, the rejoicings, the hallooing, and singing, and +garlanding, and decorating of all the inhabitants of this old +Page 322 + +city, and of all the country through which we passed, made the +journey quite charming : such happy loyalty as beamed from all +ranks and descriptions of men carried close to the heart in +sympathetic joy. + +We passed all the next day at the Deanery, which was insufficient +to our party, that not only the gentlemen, one an(l all, lodged +at the hotel, but even Lady Courtown and the two Lady +Waldegraves. I saw nothing of any of them while we stayed at +Exeter. I strolled with Miss Planta about the town, which is +populous and busy enough, but close and ugly. The principal +parade for company, however, takes in a fine view of the country; +and the cathedral is old and curious. + +The next morning, Saturday the 15th, we quitted Exeter, in which +there had been one constant mob surrounding the Deanery from the +moment of our entrance. We proceeded through a country the most +fertile, varied, rural, and delightful, in England, till we came +to the end of our aim, Saltram. We passed through such beautiful +villages, and so animated a concourse of people, that the whole +journey proved truly delectable. Arches of flowers were-erected +for the royal family to pass under at almost every town, with +various loyal devices, expressive of their satisfaction in this +circuit. How happy must have been the king!-how deservedly ! The +greatest conqueror could never pass through his dominions with +fuller acclamations of joy from his devoted subjects than George +III. experienced, simply from having won their love by the even +tenor of an unspotted life, which, at length, has vanquished all +the hearts of all his subjects. + +Our entrance at Saltram was, personally to Miss Planta and me, +very disagreeable: we followed immediately after the royals and +equerries and so many of the neighbouring gentry, the officers, +etc., were assembled to receive them, that we had to make our way +through a crowd of starers the most tremendous, while the royals +all stood at the windows, and the other attendants in the hall. + +The house is one of the most magnificent in the kingdom. It +accommodated us all, even to every footman, without by any means +filling the whole. The state apartments on the ground floor are +superb, hung with crimson damask, and ornamented with pictures, +some few of the Spanish school, the rest by Sir Joshua Reynolds, +Angelica, and some few by other artists. + +Its view is noble; it extends to Plymouth, Mount-Edge- + + +Page 323 + +cumbe, and the neighbouring fine country. The sea at times fills +up a part of the domain almost close to the house, and then its +prospect is Complete. + + + MAY "ONE" COME IN? + +Sunday, Aug. 16.-Lord Courtown brought me a very obliging message +from Lady Mount-Edgecumbe, who had been here at noon to kiss +hands, on becoming a countess from a baroness. She sent to +invite me to see her place, and contrive to dine and spend the +day there. Her majesty approves the Mount-Edgecumbe invitation. + +Aug. 18.-This morning the royals were all at a grand naval +review. I spent the time very serenely in my favourite wood, +which abounds in seats of all sorts - and then I took a fountain +Pen, and wrote my rough journal for copying to my dear +Sorelle.(314) + +In the evening, Lord Courtown, opening my parlour door, called +out, "May one come in?" + +"May one?" exclaimed Colonel Goldsworthy; "may two, may +three,--may four?--I like your one, indeed!" + +And in they all entered, and remained in sociable conversation +till they were all called, late, to cards. + + + AN EXCURSION To PLYMOUTH DOCKYARD. + +Aug. 19.-Again this morning was spent by the royals at Plymouth +dock--by me in strolls round the house. The wood here is truly +enchanting--the paths on the slant down to the water resemble +those of sweet Norbury park. + +The tea, also, was too much the same to be worth detailing. I +will only mention a speech which could not but divert me, of Mr. +Alberts, the queen's page. He said nobody dared represent to the +king the danger of his present continual exertion in this hot +weather,--"unless it is Mr. Fairly," he added, "who can say +anything, in his genteel roundabout way." + +Aug. 21.-To-day the royals went to Mount-Edgecumbe, and her +majesty had commissioned Lady Courtown to arrange a plan for Miss +Planta and me to see Plymouth Dock. According, therefore, to her +ladyship's directions, we set off for that place, and, after a +dull drive of about five miles, arrived at the house of the +commissioner, Admiral La Forey. Here + + +Page 324 +Mrs. La Forey and her daughters were prepared to expect us, and +take the trouble of entertaining us for the day. + +Three large and populous towns, Plymouth, Stockton, and +Dock,(315) nearly join each other. Plymouth is long, +dirty, ill built, and wholly unornamented with any edifice worth +notice. Stockton is rather neater,-nothing more. Dock +runs higher and Is newer, and looks far cleaner and more +habitable. The commissioner's is the best-situated +house in Dock: it is opposite a handsome quay, on an arm of the +sea, with a pretty paved walk, or terrace, before the house, +which seems used as a mall by the inhabitants, and is stored with +naval offices innumerable. + +The two ladies received us very pleasantly. Mrs. La Forey Is well +bred, in the formal way ; but her eldest daughter, Mrs. Molloy, +is quite free from stiffness, yet perfectly obliging, very easy, +very modest, and very engaging, and, when dressed for a ball in +the evening, very handsome. She does not become a +déshabille, but cannot look otherwise than pleasing and +agreeable, from her manners and countenance. + +Captain Molloy, her husband, was gone to attend in the naval +procession that conducted the royals to Mount-Edgecumbe, where he +expected to dine ; but he had left a younger officer, Lieutenant +Gregory, to do the honours of the naval show to us. + +The commissioner himself is yet more formal than his lady, but +equally civil. An unmarried daughter appeared next, who seems +sensible and good humoured, but very plain. + +We sallied forth to the dockyard, with these two daughters, and +Lieutenant Gregory, a very pleasing and well-bred young officer. +How often I wished my dear James had happened to be here, in any +employment, at this time! + +The dockyard you will dispense with my describing. It is a noble +and tremendous sight, and we were shown it with every advantage +of explanation. It was a sort of sighing satisfaction to +see such numerous stores of war's alarms !-ropes, sails, masts, +anchors,--and all in the finest symmetry, divided and subdivided, +as if placed only for show, The neatness and exactness of all the +arrangement of those stores for tempest, filled me with +admiration; so did the whole scene--though not with pleasure. +All assurances, however well to be depended upon, of safety, are +but so many indications of danger. + +Page 325 + +While we were seeing the anchor business,--which seemed +performed by Vulcanic demons, so black they looked, so savage was +their howl in striking the red-hot iron, and so coarse and slight +their attire,--we were saluted with three cheers, from the +accidental entrance of Lord Stopford, Lord Courtown's son, and +Mr. Townshend, his nephew, a son of Lord Sydney, just made a lord +of the Admiralty. And the sound, in those black regions, where +all the light was red-hot fire, had a Very fine demoniac effect. +In beating the anchor they all strike at the same instant, giving +about three quick strokes to one slow stroke; and were they not +to time them with the most perfect conformity, they must +inevitably knock out one another's brains. The sight of this +apparently continual danger gave to the whole the appearance of +some wild rite performed from motives of superstition in some +uncivilised country. + +While we were yet ]it the dockyard we were joined by two +sea-captains, Captain Molloy and Captain Duckworth. Captain +Molloy is a sensible and agreeable man, but somewhat haughty, and +of conscious consequence. Captain Duckworth is both sensible and +amiable in his style of conversation, and has a most perfect and +kind openness of manner and countenance; but he greatly amused me +by letting me see how much I amused him. I never surprised him +looking near me, without seeing on his face so irresistible a +simper, that I expected him every moment to break forth; never +even trying to keep a grave face, except when I looked at him in +full front. I found he knew "Burney, of the Bristol," as he +called our James, and I named and conversed about him by every +opportunity. . + + + A VISIT TO A SEVENTY-FOUR. + +Captain Molloy invited us, when we had exhausted the show on +land, to see his ship. I dislike going anywhere beyond the reach +of the Humane society, but could not be left without breaking up +the party: this was my first water-excursion, though two had been +proposed to me at Weymouth, which I had begged leave to decline. + +All, however, was smooth and calm, and we had the best possible +navigators. We went to the ship in Captain Molloy's large boat, +which was very trim and neat, and had all its rowers new dressed +and smart for royal attendance, as it followed the king in all +his water-excursions. + + +Page 326 + +The Ship is the Bombay Castle, of seventy-four guns. It had the +Admiralty flag hoisted, as Lord Chatham had held a board there in +the morning. It is a very fine ship, and I was truly edified by +the sight of all its accommodations, ingenuity, utility, +cleanliness, and contrivances. A man-of-war, fitted out and +manned,- is a glorious and a fearful sight! + +In going over the ship we came to the midshipmen's mess, and +those young officers were at dinner, but we were taken in: they +were lighted by a few candles fastened to the wall in sockets. +Involuntarily I exclaimed, "Dining by candle-light at noon-day!" +A midshipman, starting forward, said, "Yes', ma'am, and Admiral +Lord Hood did the same for seven years following!" + + I liked his spirit so much that I turned to him, and said I was +very glad they looked forward to such an example, for I had a +brother in the service, which gave me a warm interest in its +prosperity. This made the midshipman so much my friend, that we +entered into a detailed discourse upon the accommodations of +their cabin, mess, etc., and various other matters. I liked him +much, though I know not his name; but my constant Captain +Duckworth kept me again wholly to his own cicerone-ing, when I +turned out of the cabin. + +A little, however, he was mortified to find me a coward upon the +water. I assured him he should cure me if he could convince me +there was no reason for fear. He would not allow of any, but +could not disprove it. + +"Tell me," I said, "and honestly,--should we be overturned in the +boat while out at sea, what would prevent our being drowned?" He +would not suppose such an accident possible. + +I pressed him, however, upon the possibility it might happen once +in a century, and he could not help laughing, and answered, "O, +we should pick you all up!" --I desired to know by what means. +"Instruments," he said. I forced him, after a long and comic +resistance, to show me them. Good heaven! they were +three-pronged iron forks,--very tridents of Neptune! + +I exclaimed with great horror, "These!---why, they would tear the +body to pieces!" + +"O," answered he calmly, "one must not think of legs and arms +when life is in danger." + +I would not, however, under such protection, refuse sailing round +Mount-Edgecumbe, which we did in Captain Molloy's boat, and just +at the time when the royals, in sundry garden- + +Page 327 +chairs, were driving about the place. It was a beautiful view +the situation is delightful. But Captain Molloy was not in the +best harmony with its owners, as they had disappointed his +expectations of an Invitation to dinner. + + + A DAY AT MOUNT-EDGECUMBE. + +Aug. 24.-To-day the royals went to Marystow, Colonel Heywood's, +and Miss Planta and myself to Mount-Edgecumbe. The queen had +desired me to take Miss Planta, and I had written to prepare Lady +Mount-Edgecumbe for a companion. + +We went in a chaise to the ferry, and thence in a boat. I did +not like this part of the business, for we had no pilot we knew, +nor any one to direct us. They would hardly believe, at +Mount-Edgecumbe, we had adventured in so unguarded a manner: but +our superior is too high to discover difficulties, or know common +precautions ; and we fare, therefore, considerably worse in all +these excursions, from belonging to crowned heads, than we should +do in our own private stations, if visiting at any part of the +kingdom. + +Safe, however, though not pleasantly, we arrived on the opposite +shore ; when we found a gardener and a very commodious +garden-chair waiting for us. We drove through a sweet park to +the house, at the gate of which stood Lord and Lady +Mount-Edgecumbe, who told us that they had just heard an +intention of their majesties to sail the next day up the River +Tamer, and therefore they thought it their duty to hasten off to +a seat they have near its banks, Coteil, with refreshments and +accommodations, in case they should be honoured with a visit to +see the place, which was very ancient and curious. They should +leave Lord Valletort to do the honours, and expressed much civil +regret in the circumstance: but the distance was too great to +admit of the journey, over bad roads, if they deferred it till +after dinner. + +We then proceeded, in the chair, to see the place: it is truly +noble; but I shall enter into no description from want of time: +take a list simply of its particular points. The sea, in some +places, shows itself in its whole vast and unlimited expanse; at +others, the jutting land renders it merely a beautiful basin or +canal: the borders down to the sea are in some parts flourishing +with the finest evergreens and most vivid verdure, and in others +are barren, rocky, and perilous. In one moment you might suppose +yourself cast on a desert island, + + +Page 328 + +and the next find yourself in the most fertile and luxurious +country. In different views we were shown Cawsand bay, the +Hamoaze, the rocks called "the Maker," etc.,--Dartmoor hills, +Plymouth, the dockyard, Saltram, and St. George's channel. +Several noble ships, manned and commissioned -were in the Hamoaze +amongst them our Weymouth friends' the Magnificent and +Southampton. + +A very beautiful flower-garden is enclosed in one part of the +grounds ; and huts, seats, and ornaments in general, were well +adapted to the scenery of the place. A seat is consecrated to +Mrs. Damer,(316) with an acrostic on her name by Lord Valletort. +It is surprising to see the state of vegetation at this place, so +close to the main. Myrtles, pomegranates, everg.reens, and +flowering shrubs, all thrive, and stand the cold blast, when +planted in a southern aspect, as safely as in an inland country. +As it is a peninsula, it has all aspects, and the plantations and +dispositions of the ground are admirably and skilfully assorted +to them. + +The great open view, however, disappointed me : the towns it +shows have no prominent features, the country is as flat as it is +extensive, and the various branches of the sea which run into it +give, upon their retreat, a marshy, muddy, unpleasant appearance. +There is, besides, a want of some one striking object to arrest +the eye, and fix the attention, which wearies from the general +glare. Points, however, there are, both of the sublime and +beautiful, that merit all the fame which this noble place has +acquired. + +In our tour around it we met Lord Stopford, Mr. Townshend, and +Captain Douglas ; and heard a tremendous account of the rage of +the sea-captains, on being disappointed of a dinner at the royal +visit to Mount-Edgecumbe. + +We did not quit these fine grounds till near dinner-time. The +housekeeper then showed us the house, and a set of apartments +newly fitted up for the royals, had they chosen to sleep at +Mount-Edgecumbe. The house is old, and seems pleasant and +convenient. + +Page 329 + +In a very pretty circular parlour, which had the appearance of +being the chief living room, I saw amongst a small collection of +books, "Cecilia." I immediately laid a wager with myself the +first volume would open upon Pacchierotti; and I won it very +honestly, though I never expect to be paid it. The chapter, "An +Opera Rehearsal," was so well read, the leaves always flew apart +to display it. + +The library is an exceeding good room, and seems charmingly +furnished. Here Lord Valletort received us. His lady was +confined to her room by indisposition. He is a most neat little +beau, and his face has the roses and lilies as finely blended as +that of his pretty young wife. He was extremely civil and +attentive, and appears to be really amiable in his disposition. + +Mr. Brett, a plain, sensible, conversible man, who has an estate +in the neighbourhood, dined with us; and a young Frenchman. The +dinner was very cheerful: my lord, at the head of the table, +looked only like his lady in a riding-dress. However, he +received one mortifying trial of his temper - he had sent to +request sailing up the Tamer next day with Sir Richard Bickerton; +and he had a blunt refusal, in a note, during our repast. Not an +officer in the fleet would accommodate him; their resentment of +the dinner slight is quite vehement. + +We returned home the same way we came; the good-natured little +lord, and Mr. Brett also, quite shocked we had no better guard or +care taken of us. + + + MR. FAIRLY ON A COURT LIFE. + +Weymouth, Sunday, Sept. 6.-This evening, the royals and their +train all went again to the rooms to drink their tea. Miss +Planta and myself were taking ours quietly together, and I was +finishing a charming sermon of Blair while she was running over +some old newspapers, when, suddenly, but very gently, the +room-door was opened, and then I heard, "Will Miss Burney permit +me to come in, and give me a dish of tea?" 'Twas Mr. Fairly. + +He said we were to go on Monday se'nnight to Lord Bath's, on +Wednesday to Lord Aylesbury's, and on Friday to return to +Windsor. He was himself to be discharged some days sooner, as he +should not be wanted on the road. He said many things relative - +to Court lives and situations: with +respect, deference, and regard invariable, mentioned the leading +individuals ; but said nothing could be so weak as to + + +Page 330 + +look there, in such stations, for such impossibilities as +sympathy, friendship, or cordiality ! And he finished with +saying, "People forget themselves who look for them!" + +Such, however, is not my feeling ; and I am satisfied he has met +with some unexpected coldness. Miss Planta being present, he +explained only in generals. + + + A BRIEF SOJOURN AT LONGLEAT. + +Monday, Sept. 14.-We all left Weymouth. All possible honours +were paid the king on his departure; lords, ladies, and sea- +officers, lined the way that he passed, the guns of the +Magnificent and Southampton fired the parting salute, and the +ships were under sail. + +We all set out as before, but parted on the road. The royals +went to breakfast at Redlinch, the seat of Lord Ilchester, where +Mr, Fairly(317) was in waiting for them, and thence proceeded to +a collation at Sherborne Castle, whither he was to accompany +them, and then resign his present attendance, which has been long +and troublesome and irksome, I am sure. + +Miss Planta and myself proceeded to Longleat, the seat of the +Marquis of Bath, late Lord Weymouth; where we were all to dine, +sleep, and spend the following day and night. Longleat was +formerly the dwelling of the Earl of Lansdowne, uncle to Mrs. +Delany; and here, at this seat, that heartless uncle, to promote +some political views, sacrificed his incomparable niece, at the +age of seventeen, marrying her to an unwieldly, uncultivated, +country esquire, near sixty years of age, and scarce ever sober-- +his name Pendarves. + +With how sad an awe, in recollecting her submissive unhappiness, +did I enter these doors!--and with what indignant hatred did I +look at the portrait of the unfeeling earl, to whom her gentle +repugnance, shown by almost incessant tears, was thrown away, as +if she, her person, and her existence were nothing in the scale, +where the disposition of a few boroughs opposed them! Yet was +this the famous Granville--the poet, the fine gentleman, the +statesman, the friend and patron of Pope, of whom he wrote-- + +"What Muse for Granville can refuse to sing?" + +Mine, I am sure, for one. + +Page 331 + +Lady Bath showed us our rooms, to which we repaired immediately, +to dress before the arrival of the royals. + + +We dined with the gentlemen, all but the marquis, who was +admitted, in his own house, to dine with the king and queen, as +were all the ladies of his family. Lord Weymouth, the eldest +son, was our president; and two of his brothers, Lords George and +John, with Lord Courtown and the two colonels, made the party. +The Weymouths, Thynnes rather, are silent, and we had but little +talk or entertainment. + +The house is very magnificent, and of in immense magnitude. It +seems much out of repair, and by no means cheerful or +comfortable. Gloomy grandeur seems the proper epithet for the +building and its fitting-up. It had been designed for a +monastery, and as such was nearly completed when Henry VIII. +dissolved those seminaries. It was finished as a- dwelling-house +in the reign of his son, by one of the Thynnes, who + was knighted in a field of battle by the protector +Somerset.(318) + +Many things in the house, and many queer old portraits, afforded +me matter of Speculation, and would have filled up more time than +I had to bestow. There are portraits of Jane Shore and Fair +Rosamond, which have some marks of originality, being miserable +daubs, yet from evidently beautiful subjects. Arabella Stuart is +also at full length, and King Charleses and Jameses in abundance, +with their queens, brethren, and cousins. There are galleries in +this house of the dimensions of college halls. + +The state rooms on the ground floor are very handsome but the +queer antique little old corners, cells, recesses, "passages that +lead to nothing," unexpected openings, and abrupt stoppages, with +the quaint devices of various old-fashioned ornaments, amused me +the most. + + Page 332 + +My bed-room was furnished with crimson velvet, bed included, yet +so high, though only the second story, that it made me giddy to +look into the park, and tired to wind up the flight of stairs. +It was formerly the favourite room, the housekeeper told me, of +Bishop Ken, who put on his shroud in it before he died. Had I +fancied I had seen his ghost, I might have screamed my voice +away, unheard by any assistant to lay it; for so far was I from +the rest of the habitable part of the mansion, that not the lungs +of Mr. Bruce could have availed me.(319) + +The park is noble and spacious. It was filled with country +folks, permitted to enter that they might see their sovereigns, +and it looked as gay without as it seemed gloomy within. The +people were dressed in their best, as if they came to a fair ; +and such shouts and hallooings ensued, whenever the king appeared +at a window, that the whole building rang again with the +vibration. Nothing upon earth can be more gratifying than the +sight of this dear and excellent king thus loved and received by +all descriptions of his subjects. + + + TOTTENHAM COURT: RETURN TO WINDSOR. + +Sept. 16.-We set out, amidst the acclamations of a multitude, +from Longleat for Tottenham park, the seat of Lord Aylesbury. +The park is of great extent and moderate beauty. The house is +very well. + +We had only our own party, the three gentlemen, at dinner and +breakfast. These gentlemen only dine with the king when he keeps +house, and keeps it incog. himself. At Tottenham park, only my +Lord Aylesbury, as master of the house, was admitted. He and his +lady were both extremely desirous to make all their guests +comfortable ; and Lady Aylesbury very politely offered me the use +of her own collection of books. But I found, at the top of the +house, a very large old library, in which there were sundry +uncommon and curious old English tracts, that afforded me much +entertainment. 'Tis a library of long standing. + +Here are many original portraits also, that offer enough for +speculation. A "Bloody Mary," by Sir Anthony More, which I saw +with much curiosity, and liked better than I expected. The +beautiful Duchesses of Cleveland and Portsmouth, I fancy + +Page 333 + +by Kneller; but we had no cicerone. A very fine picture of a +lady in black, that I can credit to be Vandyke, but who else can +I know not. Several portraits by Sir Peter Lely, extremely soft +and pleasing, and of subjects uncommonly beautiful; many by Sir +Godfrey Kneller, well enough; and many more by Sir Something +Thornhill,(320) very thick and heavy. + +The good lord of the mansion put up a new bed for the king and +queen that cost him nine hundred pounds. + +Two things I heard here with concern-that my godmother, Mrs. +Greville, was dead; and that poor Sir Joshua Reynolds had lost +the sight of one of his eyes.(321) + +Sept. 18.-We left Tottenham Court, and returned to Windsor. The +royals hastened to the younger princesses, and I to Mrs. +Schwellenberg. I was civilly received, however. But deadly dead +sunk my heart as I entered her apartment. + +The next day I had a visit from my dear brother Charles full of +business, letters, etc. I rejoiced to see him, and to confab +over all his affairs, plans, and visions, more at full length +than for a long time past. I was forced to introduce him to Mrs. +Schwellenberg, and he flourished away successfully enough; but it +was very vexatious, as he had matters innumerable for discussion. + +(305) The palace of Kew.-ED. + +(306) See ante, p. 44.-ED. + +(307) The Duke of Clarence, third son of George III.; afterwards +William IV.-ED. + +(308) The Jessamy Bride." See ante, vol. i, p. 111.-ED. + +(309) "Observations and Reflections made in the course of a +Journey through France, Italy, and Germany," by published in +1789. + +(310) "The Midnight Hour," a comedy by Mrs. Inchbald, well known +as the authoress of "A Simple Story," and "Nature and Art," was +originally produced at Covent Garden, May 22, 1787. "The +Commissary," a comedy by Samuel Foote, partly taken from "Le +Bourgeois Gentilhomme," was first performed at the Haymarket in +June, 1765. Mr. Quick and Mrs. Wells were popular comedians of +the time.-ED. + +(311) In "The Provoked Husband," by Vanbrugh and Cibber.-ED. + +(312) Sir Ashton Lever was noted for his extensive and valuable +collection of objects of natural history. In 1775 he opened a +museum in Leicester Square, in which his collection was shown to +the public; but ten years later he was compelled to dispose of +it. The new proprietor exhibited the collection for some years, +but it was finally sold and dispersed.-ED. + +(312) Maria Anne Smythe was born in 1756, and married, in 1775, +Edward Weld of Lulworth Castle. He died within a year, and she +married, in 1778, Thomas Fitzherbert of Swinnerton, +Staffordshire, who died in 1781. In December, 1785, Mrs. +Fitzherbert was privately married to the Prince of Wales. The +marriage was never publicly recognised, and its legality was +perhaps disputable: for by the Act of 1772 the marriage of any +member of the Royal family under the age of twenty-five without +the king's consent, was declared invalid, and at the date of his +marriage with the beautiful Mrs Fitzherbert, the Prince was but +twenty-three years of age. he always treated her as his wife, +however, and she was received in society. She continued to live +with him even after his marriage with the Princess Caroline, and +finally parted from him in 1803, retiring with an allowance of +6,000 pounds a year to Brighton, where she died in 1837.-ED. + +(313) A character in Colman's comedy of "The Jealous Wife."-ED. + +(314) Sisters--the Italian word.-ED. + +(315) Dock is now called Devonport.-ED. + +(316) The lady-sculptor, the Hon. Mrs. Damer, daughter of General +Conway and kinswoman of Horace Walpole, who bequeathed to her, +for the term of her life, his villa at Strawberry Hill. Her +performances in sculpture were of no great merit, but were +prodigiously admired by Horace Walpole, who had a notorious +weakness for the works of persons of quality. Mrs. Damer was a +staunch whig, and canvassed Westminster on behalf of Charles Fox +at the election of 1784, in company with the Duchess of +Devonshire and Mrs. Crewe.-ED. + +(317) His late wife, it will be remembered, was a daughter of +Lord Ilchester.-ED. + +(318) Longleat, in Wiltshire, was never intended for a monastery, +but Was built from a design, it is said, by John of Padua, for +Sir John Thynne, who was knighted by Somerset on the field, after +the battle of Pinkie. Sir John's descendant, Thomas Thynne, +Esq., of Longleat, the wealthy friend of Monmouth, and the "wise +Issachar" of Dryden's "Absalom and Achitophel," was murdered in +his coach in Pall-Mall (February 12, 1682), by the contrivance of +Count Koenigsmark, who was tried for the murder and acquitted, +although his confederates, the actual perpetrators of the crime, +were hanged for it. Thomas Thynne was succeeded in his estates +by his cousin, Sir Thomas Thynne, who was the same year created +Baron Thynne and Viscount Weymouth, titles which have descended +in the family, and to which that of Marquis of Bath has since +been added." (See "Count Koenigsmark and Tom of Ten Thousand," by +H. Vizetelly, London, 1890.)-ED. + +(319) James Bruce, the famous African traveller, made the +acquaintance of the Burney family in 1775. He was about seven +feet in height. In her early letters to Mr. Crisp, Fanny calls +him the "man-mountain."-ED. + +(320) Sir James Thornhill, the father-in-law of Hogarth.-ED. + +(321) "One day, in the month of July, 1789, while finishing the +portrait of the Marchioness of Hereford, he felt a sudden decay +of sight in his left eye. He laid down the pencil, sat a little +while in mute consideration, and never lifted it more. His sight +gradually darkened, and within ten weeks of the first attack his +left eye was wholly blind." (Allan Cunningham.) For some time +after this he attended to his duties as President of the Royal +Academy, and he delivered his last address to the students in +1790. Sir Joshua died in his sixty-ninth year, February 23, +1792-ED. + + + + +Page 334 + SECTION 16. + (1789-90.) + + MR. FAIRLY'S'MARRIAGE: THE HASTINGS TRIAL, + + RUMOURS OF MR. FAIRLY'S IMPENDING MARRIAGE. + +Colonel Gwynn told us, at tea-time, of the wonderful +recovery of Colonel Goldsworthy, who has had an almost desperate +illness; and then added that he had dined the preceding day with +him, and met Mr. Fairly, who was coming to Windsor, and all +prepared, when he was suddenly stopped, on the very preceding +evening, by a fresh attack of the gout. + +I heard this with much concern, and made many inquiries, which +were presently interrupted by an exclamation of Major Garth, who +was now in waiting: "The gout?" he cried: "nay, then, it is time +he should get a nurse; and, indeed, I hear he has one in view." +Colonel Gwynn instantly turned short, with a very significant +smile of triumph, towards me, that seemed to confirm this +assertion, while it exulted in his own prediction at Cheltenham. + + +The following morning, while I was alone with my royal mistress, +she mentioned Mr. Fairly for the first time since we left +Weymouth. It was to express much displeasure against him: e had +misled Lord Aylesbury about the ensuing Drawing-room, by +affirming there would be none this month. After saying how wrong +this was, and hearing me venture to answer I could not doubt but +he must have had some reason, which, if known, might account for +his mistake, she suddenly, and with some severity of accent, +said, "He will not come + +Page 335 + +here! For some reason or other he does not choose it! He cannot +bear to come!" + +How was I amazed! and silenced pretty effectually + +She then added, "He has set his head against coming. I know he +has been in town some considerable time, but he has desired it +may not be told here. I know, too, that when he has been met in +the streets, he has called out, 'For heaven's sake, if you are +going to Windsor, do not say you have seen me.'" + +Nov. 18.-We were to go to town: but while I was taking my hasty +breakfast Miss Planta flew into the room, eagerly exclaiming, +"Have you heard the news?" I saw, instantly, by her eyes and +manner, what she meant and therefore answered, "I believe so." + +"Mr. Fairly is going to be married! I resolved I would tell +you." + +I heard the rumour," I replied, "the other day, from Colonel +Gwynn." + +"O, it's true!" she cried; "he has written to ask leave; but for +heaven's sake don't say so!" + +I gave her my ready promise, for I believed not a syllable of the +matter; but I would not tell her that. + + + A ROYAL VISIT TO THE THEATRE: JAMMED IN THE CROWD. + +We went to town not only for the Drawing-room on the next day, +but also for the play on this Wednesday night,(322) and the party +appointed to sit in the queen's private box, as, on these +occasions, the balcony-box opposite to the royals is called, +dined with Mrs. Schwellenberg,--namely, Mrs. Stainforth, Miss +Planta, Mr. de Luc, and Mr. Thomas Willis, + +When we arrived at the playhouse(323) we found the lobby and all +the avenues so crowded, that it was with the utmost difficulty we +forced our way up the stairs. It was the first appearance of the +good king at the theatre since his illness. + +When we got up stairs, we were stopped effectually: there was not +room for a fly ; and though our box was not only taken and kept, +but partitioned off, to get to it was wholly impracticable. + +Mr. Willis and Miss Planta protested they would go down + +Page 336 +again, and remonstrate with Mr. Harris, the manager; and I must +own the scene that followed was not unentertaining. Mrs. +Stainforth and myself were fast fixed in an angle at the corner +of the stairs, and Mr. de Luc stood in the midst of the crowd, +where he began offering so many grave arguments, with such +deliberation and precision, every now and then going back in his +reasoning to correct his own English, representing our right to +proceed, and the wrong of not making way for us, that it was +irresistibly comic to see the people stare, as they pushed On, +and to see his unconscious content in their passing him, so long +as he completed his expostulations on their indecorum. + +Meanwhile, poor Mrs. Stainforth lost her cloak, and in her loud +lamentations, and calls upon all present to witness her distress +(to which, for enhancing its importance, she continually added, +"Whoever has found it should bring it to the Queen's house"), she +occupied the attention of all upon the stairs as completely as it +was occupied by Mr. de Luc for all in 'the passages : but, alas! +neither the philosophic harangue of the one, nor the royal +dignity of the other, prevailed; and while there we stood, +expecting an avenue to be formed, either for our eloquence or our +consequence, not an inch of ground did we gain, and those who had +neither made their way, and got on in multitudes. + +Offended, at length, as well as tired, Mrs. Stainforth proposed +our going down, and waiting in the lobby, till Mr. Harris +arrived. Here we were joined by a gentleman, whose manner of +fixing me showed a half-recollection of my face, which I +precisely returned him, without being able to recollect where I +had seen him before. He spoke to Mrs. Stainforth, who answered +as if she knew him, and then he came to me and offered to assist +in getting me to my box. I told him the manager had already been +sent to. He did not, however, go off, but entered into +conversation upon the crowd, play, etc., with the ease of an old +acquaintance. I took the first opportunity to inquire of Mrs. +Stainforth who he was, and heard--Lord Mountmorres, whom you may +remember I met with at the theatre at Cheltenham. + +What, however, was ridiculous though was, that, after a +considerable length of time, he asked me who Mrs. Stainforth was, +and I afterwards heard he had made the same inquiry of herself +about me! The difference of a dressed and undressed head had +occasioned, I suppose, the doubt. The moment, + + +Page 337 + +however, he had completely satisfied himself in this, he fairly +joined me, as if he had naturally belonged to our party. And it +turned out very acceptable, for we were involved in all such sort +of difficulties as our philosopher was the least adapted to +remove. + +We now went about, in and out, up and down, but without any power +to make way, the crowd every instant thickening. We then were +fain to return to our quiet post, behind the side-boxes in the +lobby, where we remained till the arrival of the king, and then +were somewhat recompensed for missing the sight of his entrance, +by hearing the sound of his reception: for so violent an huzzaing +commenced, such thundering clapping, knocking with sticks, and +shouting, and so universal a chorus of "God save the king," that +not all the inconveniences of my situation could keep my heart +from beating with joy, nor my eyes from running over with +gratitude for its occasion. + +Lord Mountmorres, who joined in the stick part of the general +plaudit, exclaimed frequently, "What popularity is this! how fine +to a man's feelings! yet he Must find it embarrassing." Indeed I +should suppose he could with difficulty bear it, 'Twas almost +adoration! How much I lament that I lost the sight of his benign +countenance, during such glorious moments as the most favoured +monarchs can scarce enjoy twice in the longest life! + +Miss Planta and Mr. Willis now returned: they had had no success; +Mr. Harris said they might as well stem the tide of the ocean as +oppose or rule such a crowd. The play now began ; and Lord +Mountmorres went away to reconnoitre, but, presently returning, +said, "If you will trust yourselves with me I will show you your +chance." And then he conducted me to the foot of the stairs +leading to our box, which exhibited such a mass of living +creatures, that the insects of an ant-hill could scarce be more +compact. + +We were passed by Lord Stopford, Captain Douglas, and some other +of our acquaintance, who told us of similar distresses; and in +this manner passed the first act! The boxkeeper came and told +Lord Mountmorres he could now give his lordship one seat: but the +humours of the lobby he now preferred, and refused the place: +though I repeatedly begged that we might not detain him. But he +was determined to see us safe landed before he left us. + + +Page 338 +Mr. Harris now came again, and proposed taking us another way, to +try to get up some back-stairs. We then went behind the scenes +for this purpose : but here Mr. Harris was called away, and we +were left upon the stage. Lord Mountmorres led me to various +peep-holes, where I could at least have the satisfaction of +seeing the king and royal family, as well as the people, and the +whole was a sight most grateful to my eyes. + +So civil, however, and so attentive he was, that a new perplexity +now occurred to me : he had given up his place, and had taken so +much trouble, that I thought, if we at last got to our box, he +would certainly expect to be accommodated. in it. And to take +any one, without previous permission, into the queen's private +box, and immediately facing their majesties, was a liberty I knew +not how to risk ; and, in truth, I knew not enough of his present +politics to be at all sure if they might not be even peculiarly +obnoxious. This consideration, therefore, began now so much to +reconcile me to this emigrant evening, that I ceased even to wish +for recovering our box. + + + IN THE MANAGER's Box. + +When Mr. Harris came back, he said he had nothing to propose but +his own box, which was readily accepted. To this our access was +easy, as it was over the king and queen, and consequently not +desirable to those who came to see them. I too now preferred it, +as it was out of their sight, and enabled me to tell Lord +Mountmorres, who led me to it through the crowd with unceasing +trouble and attention, that till he could get better accommodated +a place was at his service. + +He closed instantly with the offer, placing himself behind me ; +but said he saw some of his relations in the opposite stage-box, +Lady Mornington and her beautiful daughter Lady Ann Wellesley, +and, as soon as the act was over, he would go down and persuade +them to make room for him. + +I was shocked, however, after all this, to hear him own himself +glad to sit down, as he was still rather lame, from a dreadful +overturn in a carriage, in which his leg had been nearly crushed +by being caught within the coach-door, which beat down upon it, +and almost demolished it. + +This anecdote, however, led to another more pleasant; for it +brought on a conversation which showed me his present principles, +at least, were all on the government side. The accident had +happened during a Journey to Chester, in his way to + + +Page 339 + +Ireland, whither he was hastening upon the Regency business, last +winter: and he went to the Irish House of Peers the first time he +quitted his room, after a confinement of three weeks from this +terrible bruise. + +"But how," cried I, "could you stand?" + +"I did not stand," he answered; "they indulged me with leave to +speak sitting." + +"What a useful opening, then, my lord," cried I, "did you lose +for every new paragraph!" I meant, the cant of "Now I am upon my +legs." He understood it instantly, and laughed heartily, +protesting it was no small detriment to his oratory. + +The play was the "Dramatist,"(324) written with that species of +humour in caricature that resembles O'Keefe's performances; full +of absurdities, yet laughable in the extreme. We heard very ill, +and, missing the beginning, we understood still worse: so that, +in fact, I was indebted to my new associate for all the +entertainment I received the whole evening. + +When the act was over, the place on which he had cast his eye, +near Lady Mornington, was seized; he laughed, put down his hat, +and composed himself quietly for remaining where he was. He must +be a man of a singular character, though of what sort I know not: +but in his conversation he showed much information, and a +spirited desire of interchanging ideas with those who came in his +way. + +We talked a great deal of France, and he related to me a variety +of anecdotes just fresh imported thence. He was there at the +first assembling of the Notables, and he saw, he said impending +great events from that assemblage. The two most remarkable +things that had struck him, he told me, in this wonderful +revolution, were--first, that the French guards should ever give +up their king; and secondly, that the chief spirit and capacity +hither-to shown amongst individuals had come from the +ecclesiastics. + +He is very much of the opinion the spirit of the times will come +round to this island. In what, I asked, could be its pretence?-- +The game-laws, he answered, and the tithes. He told me, also, a +great deal of Ireland, and enlarged my political knowledge +abundantly,--but I shall not be so generous, my dear friends, as +to let you into all these state matters. + +But I must tell you a good sort of quirk of Mr. Wilkes, who, +when the power of the mob and their cruelty were first reciting, + +Page 340 + +quarrelled with a gentleman for saying the French government was +become a democracy and asserted it was rather a mobocracy. The +pit, he said, reminded him of a sight he once saw in Westminster +Hall,--a floor of faces. + +He was a candidate for Westminster at that time, with Charles +Fox!--thus do we veer about. + +At the end of the farce, "God save the king" was most +vociferously called for from all parts of the theatre, and all +the singers of the theatre came on the stage to sing it, joined +by the whole audience, who kept it up till the sovereign of his +people's hearts left the house. It was noble and heart-melting +at once to hear and see such loyal rapture, and to feel and know +it so deserved. + + + MR. FAIRLY'S MARRIAGE IMMINENT. + +NOV. 20.-Some business sent me to speak with Miss Planta before +our journey back to Windsor. When it was executed and I was +coming away, she called out, "O! Špropos--it's all declared, and +the princesses wished Miss Fuzilier joy yesterday in the +Drawing-room. She looked remarkably well ; but said Mr. Fairly +had still a little gout, and could not appear." + +Now first my belief followed assertion;--but it was only because +it was inevitable, since the princesses could not have proceeded +so far without certainty. . . . . . + +We returned to Windsor as usual, and there I was, just as usual, +obliged to finish every evening with picquet !--and to pass all +and every afternoon, from dinner to midnight, in picquet company. + +Nov. 28.-The queen, after a very long airing, came * in to dress, +and summoned me immediately; and in two minutes the princess +royal entered, and said something in German, and then added, "And +Mr. Fairly, ma'am, begs he may see you a moment, now, if +possible." + +This is his first coming to the house since her royal highness's +birthday, just two months ago. + +"I am very sorry," was answered coolly, "but I am going to +dress." + +"He won't keep you a moment, mamma, only he wants to get on to +St. Leonards to dinner," + +Miss Fuzilier is now there." + +"Well, then," she answered, "I'll slip on my powdering-gown, and +see him." + + +Page 341 + +I found, however, they had already met, probably in the +passage, for the queen added, "How melancholy he looks, does not +he, princess royal?" + +"Yes, indeed, mamma!"--They then again talked ' German. + +The princess then went to call him ; and I hastened into the next +room, with some caps just then inspecting. + +Mr. Turbulent again dined with us, and said, "I find Mr. Fairly +is here to-day? when is he to be married?" + +Mrs. Schwellenberg reproved him for talking of "soch things:" she +holds it petty treason to speak of it, as they are both in office +about the Court; though she confessed it would be in a fortnight. + +At tea, when the gentlemen--General Budé, Majors Price and Garth, +and Mr. Willis--appeared, she said, "Where be Mr. Fairly?" They +all exclaimed, "Is he here?" + +"O, certain, if he ben't gone!" + +I then said he had gone on to St. Leonards. + +They all expressed the utmost surprise that he should come, and +go, and see none of them. + +When they retired, Mrs. Schwellenberg exclaimed, "For what not +stay one night? For what not go to the gentlemen? It looks like +when he been ashamed.--O fie! I don't not like soch ting. And +for what always say contrarie?--always say to everybody he won't +not have her!--There might be something wrong in all that--it +looks not well." + +I saw a strong desire to have me enter into the merits of the +case; but I constantly answer to these exclamations, that these +sort of situations are regarded in the world as licensing denials +first, and truancy from all others afterwards. + + + COURT DUTIES DISCUSSED. + +December.-Let me now, to enliven you a little, introduce to you a +new acquaintance, self-made, that I meet at the chapel, and who +always sits next me when there is room,-- Mrs. J--, wife to the +Bishop of K--: and before the service begins, she enters into +small talk, with a pretty tolerable degree of frankness, not much +repressed by scruples of delicacy. + +Take a specimen. She opened, the other morning, upon my +situation and occupation, and made the most plump inquiries into +its particulars, with a sort of hearty good humour + +Page 342 + +that removed all impertinence, whatever it left of inelegance and +then began her comments. + +"Well; the queen, to be sure, is a great deal better dressed than +she used to be; but for all that, I really think it is but an odd +thing for you!--Dear! I think it's something so out of the way +for you!--I can't think how you set about it. It must have been +very droll to you at first. A great deal of honour, to be sure, +to serve a queen, and all that: but I dare say a lady's-maid +could do it better,--though to be called about a queen, as I say, +is a great deal of honour: but, for my part, I should not like +it; because to be always obliged to go to a person, whether one +was in the humour or not, and to get up in a morning, if one was +never so sleepy!--dear! it must be a mighty hurry-skurry life! +you don't look at all fit for it, to judge by appearances, for +all its great honour, and all that." + +Is not this a fit bishop's wife? is not here primitive candour +and veracity? I laughed most heartily,--and we have now commenced +acquaintance for these occasional meetings. + +If this honest dame does not think me fit for this part of my +business, there is another person, Mlle. Montmoulin, who, with +equal simplicity, expresses her idea of my unfitness for another +part.-- How you bear it," she cries, "living with Mrs. +Schwellenberg!--I like it better living in prison!--'pon +m'honneur, I prefer it bread and water; I think her so cross +never was. If I you, I won't bear it--poor Miss Burney!--I so +sorry!--'pon m'honneur, I think to you oftens!--you so confined, +you won't have no pleasures!--" + +Miss Gomme, less plaintive, but more solemn, declared the other +day, "I am sure you must go to heaven for living this +life!"---So, at least, you see, though in a court, I am not an +object of envy. + + + MR. FAIRLY'S STRANGE WEDDING. + +January, 1790.-Mr. Fairly was married the 6th--I must wish +happiness to smile on that day, and all its anniversaries, it +gave a happiness to me unequalled, for it was the birthday of my +Susanna! + +One evening, about this time, Mr. Fisher, now Doctor, drank tea +with us at Windsor, and gave me an account of Mr. Fairly's +marriage that much amazed me. He had been called upon to perform +the ceremony. It was by special licence, and at the house of Sir +R- G-.(325) @ + + +Page 343 + +So religious, so strict in all ceremonies, even, of religion, as +he always appeared, his marrying out of a church was to me very +unexpected. Dr. Fisher was himself surprised, when called upon, +and said he supposed it must be to please the lady. + +Nothing, he owned, could be less formal or solemn than the whole. +Lady C., Mrs. and Miss S., and her father and brother and sister, +were present. They all dined together at the usual hour,'and +then the ladies, as usual, retired. Some time after, the clerk +was sent for, and then, with the gentlemen, joined the ladies, +who were in the drawing-room, seated on sofas, just as at any +other time, Dr. Fisher says he is not sure they were working, but +the air of common employment was such, that he rather thinks it, +and everything of that sort was spread about as on any common +day--workboxes, netting-cases, etc. Mr. Fairly then asked Dr. +Fisher what they were to do? He answered, he could not tell; for +he had never married anybody in a room before. + +Upon this, they agreed to move a table to the upper end of the +room, the ladies still sitting quietly, and then Put on it +candles and a prayer-book. Dr. Fisher says he hopes it was not a +card-table, and rather believes it was only a Pembroke +work-table. The lady and Sir R. then came forward, and Dr. +Fisher read the service. + +So this, methinks, seems the way to make all things easy! + +Yet--with so little solemnity-without even a room prepared and +empty--to go through a business of such portentous seriousness!-- +'Tis truly amazing from a man who seemed to delight so much in +religious regulations and observances. Dr. Fisher himself was +dissatisfied, and wondered at his compliance, though he +attributed the plan to the lady. + +The bride behaved extremely well, he said, and was all smile and +complacency. He had never seen her to such advantage, or in such +soft looks, before; and perfectly serene, though her sister was +so much moved as to go into hysterics. + +Afterwards, at seven o'clock, the bride and bride-groom set off +for a friend's house in Hertfordshire by themselves, attended by +servants with white favours. The rest of the party, father, +sister, and priest included, went to the play, which happened to +be Benedict. + + +Page 344 + + A VISIT FROM THE BRIDE. + +I shall say nothing of the queen's birthday, but that I had a +most beautiful trimming worked me for it by Miss Cambridge, who +half fatigued herself to death, for the kind pleasure that I +should have my decorations from her hands. If in some points my +lot has been unenviable, what a constant solace, what sweet and +soft amends, do I find and feel in the almost unexampled union of +kindness and excellence in my chosen friends! + +The day after the birthday produced a curious scene. To soften +off, by the air, a violent headache, I determined upon walking to +Chelsea to see my dear father. I knew I should thus avoid +numerous visitors of the household, who might pay their devoirs +to Mrs. Schwellenberg. + +I missed my errand, and speedily returned, and found many cards +from bed-chamber women and maids of honour; and, while still +reading them, I was honoured with a call from the Bishop of +Salisbury; and in two minutes my dear father came himself. + +A pleasant conversation was commencing, when Columb opened the +door, and said, "Colonel Fairly begs leave to ask you how you +do." He had been married but a week before he came into the +midst of all the Court bustle, which he had regularly attended +ever since! + +It was a good while before the door opened again - and I heard a +buzz of voices in the passage: but when it was thrown open, there +appeared--the bride herself--and alone! She looked quite +brilliant in smiles and spirits. I never saw a countenance so +enlivened. I really believe she has long cherished a passionate +regard for Mr. Fairly, and brightens now from its prosperity. + +I received her with all' the attention in my power, immediately +wishing her joy: she accepted it with a thousand dimples, and I +seated her on the sofa, and myself by her side. Nobody followed; +and I left the bishop to my father, while we entered into +conversation, upon the birthday, her new situation in being +exempt from its fatigues, and other matters of the time being. + +I apologised to Mrs. Fairly for my inability to return the honour +of her visit, but readily undertook to inform her majesty of her +inquiries, which she earnestly begged from me, + + +Page 345 + + RENEWAL OF THE HASTINGS TRIAL: + A POETICAL IMPROMPTU. + +Feb. 16-Mr. Hastings's trial re-commenced; and her majesty +graciously presented me with tickets for Mr. Francis, Charlotte, +and myself. She acknowledged a very great curiosity to know +whether my old friends amongst the managers would renew their +intercourse with a Court friend, or include me in the distaste +conceived against herself, and drop their visits. I had not once +been to the trial the preceding year, nor seen any of the set +since the king's illness. + +We were there hours before they entered, all spent in a harmony +of converse and communication I never for three hours following +can have elsewhere: no summons impending--no fear of accidental +delay drawing off attention to official solicitude. + +At the stated time they entered in the usual form, Mr. Burke +first. I felt so grieved a resentment of his late conduct,(326) +that I was glad to turn away from his countenance. I looked +elsewhere during the whole procession, and their subsequent +arrangement, that I might leave totally to themselves and their +consciences whether to notice a friend from Court or not. Their +consciences said not. No one came; I only heard through +Charlotte that Mr. Windham was of the set. + +Mr. Anstruther spoke, and all others took gentle naps! I don't +believe he found it out. When all was concluded, I saw one of +them ascending towards our seats : and presently heard the voice +of Mr. Burke. + +I wished myself many miles off! 'tis so painful to see with utter +disapprobation those faces we have met, with joy and pleasure! He +came to speak to some relations of Mr. Anstruther. I was next +them, and, when recovered from my first repugnance, I thought it +better to turn round, not to seem leading the way myself to any +breach. I met his eyes immediately, and curtsied. He only said, +"O! is it you?" then asked how I did, said something in praise +of Mr. Anstruther, partly to his friends and partly to me--heard +from me no reply--and hurried away, coldly, and with a look +dissatisfied and uncordial. I was much concerned; and we came +away soon after. + +Here is an impromptu, said to have been written by Mr. + +Page 346 + +Hastings during Mr. Grey's speech, which was a panegyric on Mr, +Philip Francis:-- + +"It hurts me not, that Grey,, as Burke's assessor, +Proclaims me Tyrant, Robber, and Oppressor, +Tho' for abuse alone meant: +For when he call'd himself the bosom friend, +The Friend of Philip Francis,--I con'end +He made me full atonement." + +I was called upon, on my return, to relate the day's business. +Heavy and lame was the relation - but their majesties were +curious, and nothing better suited truth. + + + AN ILLBRED EARL OF CHESTERFIELD. + +Our tea-party was suddenly enlarged by the entrance of the Lords +Chesterfield, Bulkley, and Fortescue. Lord Chesterfield brought +in the two latter without any ceremony, and never introduced nor +named them, but chatted off with them apart, as if they were in a +room to themselves: and Colonel Wellbred, to whom all gentlemen +here belong, was out of the room ]if search of a curious +snuff-box that he had promised to show to us. Major Price, who +by great chance was seated next me, jumped up as if so many wild +beasts had entered, and escaped to the other side of the room, +and Mr. Willis was only a sharp looker-on. + +This was awkward enough for a thing so immaterial, as I could not +even ask them to have any tea, from uncertainty how to address +them; and I believe they were entirely ignorant whither Lord +Chesterfield was bringing them, as they came In only to wait for +a royal summons. + +How would that quintessence of high ton, the late Lord +Chesterfield, blush to behold his successor! who, with much share +of humour, and of good humour also, has as little good breeding +as any mail I ever met with. + +Take an instance.-Lord Bulkley, who is a handsome man, is +immensely tall; the major, who is middle-sized, was standing by +his chair, in close conference with him--"Why, Bulkley," cried +Lord Chesterfield, "you are just the height sitting that Price is +standing." + +Disconcerted a little, they slightly laughed; but Lord Bulkley +rose, and they walked off to a greater distance. Lord +Chesterfield, looking after them, exclaimed, "What a + + +Page 347 +walking steeple he is!--why, Bulkley, you ought to cut off your +legs to be on a level with society!" + +When they were all summoned away, except Mr. Willis, who has +never that honour but in private, he lifted up his hands and +eyes, and called out, "I shall pity those men when the book comes +out!--I would not be in their skins!" + +I understood him perfectly,--and answered, truly, that I was +never affronted more than a minute with those by whom I could +never longer be pleased. + + + Miss BURNEY IN A NEW CAPACITY. + +March 2.- In one of our Windsor excursions at this time, while I +was in her majesty's dressing-room, with only Mr. de Luc present, +she suddenly said, "Prepare yourself, Miss Burney, with all your +spirits, for to-night you must be reader." + +She then added that she recollected what she had been told by my +honoured Mrs. Delany, of my reading- Shakspeare to her, and was +desirous that I should read a play to herself and the princesses; +and she had lately heard, from Mrs. Schwellenberg, "nobody could +do it better, when I would." + +I assured her majesty it was rather when I could, as any reading +Mrs. Schwellenberg had heard must wholly have been better or +worse according to my spirits, as she had justly seemed to +suggest. + +The moment coffee was over the Princess Elizabeth came for me. I +found her majesty knotting, the princess royal drawing, Princess +Augusta spinning, and Lady Courtown I believe in the same +employment, but I saw none of them perfectly well. + +"Come, Miss Burney," cried the queen, " how are your spirits?-- +How is your voice?" ' + +"She says, ma'am," cried the kind Princess Elizabeth, "she shall +do her best!" + +This had been said in attending her royal highness back. I could +only confirm it, and that cheerfully-to hide fearfully. + +I had not the advantage of choosing my play, nor do I know what +would have been my decision had it fallen to my lot. Her +majesty, had just begun Colman's works, and "Polly Honeycomb" was +to open my campaign. + +"I think," cried the queen most graciously, "Miss Burney will +read the better for drawing a chair and sitting down,". + + +Page 348 +" yes, mamma! I dare say so!" cried Princess Augusta and Princess +Elizabeth, both in a moment. + +The queen then told me to draw my chair close to her side. I +made no scruples. Heaven knows I needed not the addition of +standing! but most glad I felt in being placed thus near, as it +saved a constant painful effort of loud reading. + +"Lady Courtown," cried the queen, "you had better draw nearer, +for Miss Burney has the misfortune of reading rather low at +first." + +Nothing could be more amiable than this opening. Accordingly, I +did, as I had promised, my best; and, indifferent as that was, it +would rather have surprised you, all things considered, that it +was not yet worse. But I exerted all the courage I possess, and, +having often read to the queen, I felt how much it behoved me not +to let her surmise I had any greater awe to surmount. + +It is but a vulgar performance; and I was obliged to omit, as +well as I could at sight, several circumstances very unpleasant +for reading, and ill enough fitted for such hearers. it went off +pretty flat. Nobody is to comment, nobody is to interrupt; and +even between one act and another not a moment's pause is expected +to be made. + +I had been already informed of this etiquette by Mr. Turbulent +and Miss Planta; nevertheless, it is not only oppressive to the +reader, but loses to the hearers so much spirit and satisfaction, +that I determined to endeavour, should I again be called upon, to +introduce a little break into this tiresome and unnatural +profundity of respectful solemnity. My own embarrassment, +however, made it agree with me for the present uncommonly well. + +Lady Courtown never uttered one single word the whole time; yet +is she one of the most loquacious of our establishment. But such +is the settled etiquette. + +The queen has a taste for conversation, and the princesses a +good-humoured love for it, that doubles the regret of such an +annihilation of all nature and all pleasantry. But what will not +prejudice and education inculcate? They have been brought up to +annex silence to respect and decorum: to talk, therefore, unbid, +or to differ from any given opinion even when called upon, are +regarded as high improprieties, if not presumptions. + +They none of them do justice to their own minds, while they +enforce this subjection upon the minds of others. I had not + + +Page 349 + +experienced it before ; for when reading alone with the queen, or +listening to her reading to me, I have always frankly spoken +almost whatever has occurred to me. But there I had no other +examples before me, and therefore I might inoffensively be guided +by myself; and her majesty's continuance of the same honour has +shown no disapprobation of my proceeding. But here it was not +easy to make any decision for myself: to have done what Lady +Courtown forbore doing would have been undoubtedly a liberty. + +So we all behaved alike - and easily can I now conceive the +disappointment and mortification of poor Mr. Garrick when he read +"Lethe" to a royal audience. Its tameness must have tamed even +him, and I doubt not he never acquitted himself so ill. + + + THE LONG-FORGOTTEN TRAGEDY: MISS BURNEY AGAIN AS READER. + +On Easter Sunday, the 4th of April, when I left my beloved Susan +at St. James's, I left with her all spirit for any voluntary +employment, and it occurred to me I could best while away the +leisure allowed me by returning to my long-forgotten tragedy. +This I have done, in those moments as yet given to my journal, +and it is well I had so sad a resource, since any merrier I must +have aimed at in vain. + +It was a year and four months since I had looked at or thought of +it. I found nothing but unconnected speeches, and hints, and +ideas, though enough in quantity, perhaps, for a whole play. I +have now begun planning and methodising, and have written three +or four regular scenes. I mention all these particulars of my +progress, in answer to certain queries in the comments of my +Susan and Fredy, both of old date. + + +Well (for that is my hack, as "however" is my dear Susanna's), we +set off rather late for Windsor,-Mr. de Luc, Miss Planta, and +myself; Mrs. Schwellenberg stayed in town. . . . + +I invited my old beau, as her majesty calls Mr. Bryant, to +dinner, and he made me my best day out of the ten days of our +Windsor sojourn. He has insisted upon lending me some more +books, all concerning the most distant parts of the earth, or on +subjects the most abstruse. His singular simplicity in +constantly conceiving that, because to him such books alone are +new, they must have the same recommendation to me, is + + +Page 350 + +extremely amusing; and though I do all that is possible to clear +up the distinction, he never remembers it. + +The king, for which I was very sorry, did not come Into the room. +He made it but one visit, indeed, during this week. He then +conversed almost wholly with General Grenville upon the affairs +of France; and in a manner so unaffected, open and manly, so +highly superior to all despotic principles, even while most +condemning the unlicensed fury of the Parisian mob, that I wished +all the nations of the world to have heard him, that they might +have known the real existence of a patriot king. + +Another reading took place, and much more comfortably; it was to +the queen and princesses, without any lady-in-waiting. The +queen, as before, condescended to order me to sit close to her +side; and as I had no model before me, I scrupled much less to +follow the bent of my own ideas by small occasional comments. +And these were of use both to body and mind; they rested the +lungs from one invariable exertion, as much as they saved the +mind from one strain of attention. + +Our play was "The Man of Business," a very good comedy, but too +local for long life. And another of Colman's which I read +afterwards has the same defect. Half the follies and +peculiarities it satirises are wholly at an end and forgotten. +Humour springing from mere dress, or habits, or phraseology, is +quickly obsolete; when it sinks deeper, and dives into character, +it may live for ever. + +I dedicated my Wednesday evening to a very comfortable visit to +our dear James, whose very good and deserving wife, and fine +little fat children, with our Esther and her fair Marianne and +Fanny, all cordially conspired to make me happy. We read a good +deal of Captain Bligh's interesting narrative,(327) + +Page 351 + +every word Of which James has taken as much to heart as if it +were his own production. + +I go on, occasionally, with my tragedy. It does not much +enliven, but it soothes me. + + + COLONEL MANNERS IN HIS SENATORIAL CAPACITY. + +April 23.--I shall add nothing at present to my Journal but the +summary of a conversation I have had with Colonel Manners, who, +at our last excursion, was here without any other gentleman. + +Knowing he likes to be considered as a senator, I thought the +best subject for our discussion would be the House of Commons; I +therefore made sundry political inquiries, so foreign to My Usual +mode, that you would not a little have smiled to have heard them. +I had been informed he had once made an attempt to speak, during +the Regency business, last winter ; I begged to know how the +matter stood, and he made a most frank display of its whole +circumstances. "Why, they were speaking away," he cried, "upon +the Regency, and so,---and they were saying if the king could not +reign, and recover; and Burke was making some of his eloquence, +and talking; and, says he, 'hurled from his throne,'---and so I +put out my finger in this manner, as if I was in a great passion, +for I felt myself very red, and I was in a monstrous passion I +suppose, but I was only going to say 'Hear! Hear!' but I happened +to lean one hand down upon my knee, in this way, just as Mr. Pitt +does when he wants to speak.- and I stooped forward, just as if I +was going to rise up and begin but just then I caught Mr. Pitt's +eye, looking at me so pitifully; he thought I was going to speak, +and he was frightened to death, for he thought--for the thing +was, he got up himself, and he said over all I wanted to say; and +the thing is, he almost always does; for just as I have something +particular to say, Mr. Pitt begins, and goes through it all, so +that he don't leave anything more to be said about it; and so, I +suppose, as he looked at me so pitifully, he thought I should say +it first, or else that I + + +Page 352 + +should get into some scrape, because I was so warm and looking so +red." + +Any comment would disgrace this; I will therefore only tell you +his opinion, in his own words, of one of our late taxes. + +"There's only one tax, ma'am, that ever I voted for against my +conscience, for I've always been very particular about that; but +that is the bacheldor's tax, and that I hold to be very +unconstitutional, and I am very sorry I voted for it, because +it's very unfair; for how can a man help being a bacheldor, if +nobody will have him? and besides, it's not any fault to be taxed +for, because We did not make ourselves bacheldors, for we were +made so by God, for nobody was born married, and so I think it's +a very unconstitutional tax." + + + + A CONVERSATION WITH MR. WINDHAM AT THE HASTINGS TRIAL. + +April 27.-I had the happiness of my dearest Fredy's society in +Westminster Hall--if happiness and that place may be named +together. + +The day was mixed: Evidence and Mr. Anstruther weighing it down, +and Mr. Burke speaking from time to time, and lighting it up. O, +were his purpose worthy his talents, what an effect would his +oratory produce! I always hear him with so much concern, I can +scarce rejoice even in being kept awake by him. + +The day was nearly passed, and I was eating a biscuit to prevent +an absolute doze while Mr. Anstruther was talking, when, raising +myself from a listening bend, I turned to the left, and perceived +Mr. Windham, who had quietly placed himself by my side without +speaking. + +My surprise was so great, and so totally had I given up all idea +of renewing our conferences, that I could scarce refrain +expressing it. Probably it was visible enough, for he said, as +if apologising for coming up, that so to do was the only regale +their toils allowed them. He then regretted that it was a stupid +day, and, with all his old civility about me and my time, +declared he was always sorry to see me there when nothing worth +attention was going forward. + +This soon brought us round to our former intimacy of converse ; +and, the moment I was able, I ventured at my usual inquiry about +his own speaking, and if it would soon take place. + + +Page 353 +"No," he answered, with a look of great pleasure, "I shall now +not speak at all.--I have cleared myself from that task, and +never with such satisfaction did I get rid of any!" + +Amazed, yet internally glad, I hazarded some further inquiry into +the reason of this change of plan. + +They were drawing, he said, to a conclusion, and the particular +charge which he had engaged himself to open was +relinquished.(328) "I have therefore," he cried, "washed my +hands of making a speech, yet satisfied my conscience, my honour, +my promises, and my intentions; for I have declined undertaking +anything new, and no claim therefore remains upon me." + +"Well," quoth I, "I am at a loss whether to be glad or sorry." + +He comprehended instantly,--glad for Mr. Hastings, or sorry for +not hearing him. He laughed, but said something a little +reproachful, upon my continued interest for that gentleman. I +would not pretend it was diminished; I determined he should find +me as frank as heretofore, and abscond, or abide, as his nerves +stood the firmness. + +"You are never, then" (I said afterwards), "to speak here?" + +"Once," he answered, "I said a few words--" + +"O when?" I cried; "I am very sorry I did not know it, and hear +you,--as you did speak!" + +"O," cried he, laughing, "I do not fear this flattery now, as I +shall speak no more." + +"But what," cried I, "was the occasion that drew you forth?" + +"Nothing very material but I saw Burke run hard, and I wished to +help him." + +"That was just," cried I, "what I should have expected from you-- +and just what I have not been able not to honour, on some other +occasions, even where I have most blamed the matter that has +drawn forth the assistance." + +This was going pretty far:--he could not but instantly feel I +meant the Regency discussions. He neither made me any answer, +nor turned his head, even obliquely, my way. + +I was not sorry, however. 'Tis always best to be sincere. +Finding him quite silent, to soften matters as well as I could +with honesty, I began an éloge of Mr. Burke, both warm and true, +as far as regards his wonderful abilities. But he soon + + +Page 354 + +distinguished the rigorous precision with which, Involuntarily, I +praised the powers without adverting to their Use. + +Suddenly then, and with a look of extreme keenness, he turned his +eyes upon me, and exclaimed, "Yes,--and he has very highly, also +the faculty of being right!" I would the friendship that +dictated this assertion were as unwarped as it is animated. + +I could not help saying rather faintly, "Has he?" + +Not faintly he answered, "He has!--but not the world alone, even +his friends, are apt to misjudge him. What he enters upon, +however with earnestness, YOU will commonly find turn out as he +represents it." + +His genius, his mental faculties, and the natural goodness of his +heart, I then praised as warmly as Mr. Windham could have praised +them himself; but the subject ran me aground a second time, as, +quite undesignedly, I concluded my panegyric with declaring that +I found it impossible not to admire,--nay, love him, through all +his wrong. Ending another total silence and averted head, I +started something more general upon the trial. + +His openness then returned, with all its customary vivacity, and +he expressed himself extremely irritated upon various matters +which had been carried against the managers by the judges. + +"But, Mr. Windham!" exclaimed I, "the judges!--is it possible you +can enter into such a notion as to suppose Mr. Hastings capable +of bribing them?" + +"O, for capable," cried he, "I don't know--" + +"Well, leave that word out, and suppose him even willing--can you +imagine all the judges and all the lords--for they must concur-- +disposed to be bribed?" + +"No; but I see them all determined to acquit Mr. Hastings." + +"Determined?--nay, that indeed is doing him very little honour." + +"O, for honour!--if he is acquitted--" He stopped,--as if that +were sufficient. + +I ventured to ask why the judges and the lords-should make such a +determination. + +"From the general knavery and villainy of mankind." was his hard +answer, "which always wishes to abet successful guilt." + +"Well!" cried I, shaking my head, "you have not, + + +Page 355 + +relinquished your speech from having nothing to say. But I am +glad you have relinquished it, for I have always been most afraid +of you ; and the reason is, those who know how to hold back will +not for nothing come forward. There is one down there, who, if +he knew how ever to hold back, would be great indeed!" + +He could not deny this, but would not affirm it. Poor Mr. +Burke!--so near to being wholly right, while yet wholly wrong! + +When Mr. Burke mounted the rostrum, Mr. Windham stopped short, +saying, "I won't interrupt you-" and, in a moment, glided back to +the managers' box; where he stood behind Mr. Burke, evidently at +hand to assist in any difficulty. His affection for him seems to +amount to fondness. This is not for me to wonder at. Who was so +captivated as myself by that extraordinary man, till he would no +longer suffer me to reverence the talents I must still ever +admire? + + + A GLIMPSE OF MRS. PIOZZI. + +Sunday, May 2.-This morning, in my way to church, just as I +arrived at the iron gate of our courtyard, a well-known voice +called out, "Ah, there's Miss Burney!" + +I started, and looked round--and saw--Mrs. Piozzi! I hastened up +to her; she met my held-out hand with both hers: Mr. Piozzi an +Cecilia(329) were with her--all smiling and good-humoured. + +"You are going," she cried, "to church?--so, am I. I must run +first to the inn: I suppose one--may sit--anywhere one pleases?" + +"Yes," I cried, "but you must be quick, or you will sit nowhere, +there will be such a throng." This was all;--she hurried on,--so +did I. + +I received exceeding great satisfaction in this little and +unexpected meeting. She had been upon the Terrace, and was going +to change her hat, and haste on both sides prevented awkwardness +on either. + +Yet I saw she had taken in good part my concluding hand- +presentation at my dear Mr. Locke's:(330) she met me no more + + 356 +with that fiert`e of defiance: it was not-nor can it ever be with +her old cordiality, but it was with some degree of pleasure, and +that species of readiness which evinces a consciousness of +meeting with a good reception. + + + CAPTAIN BURNEY WANTS A SHIP AND TO GO TO COURT. + +May 6.-This being the last Pantheon, I put in my long intended +claim; and it was greatly facilitated by the circumstance of a +new singer, Madame Benda, making her first appearance. My +dearest father fetched me from the Queen's house. Esther and +Marianne kept me places between them. Marianne never looked so +pretty; I saw not a face there I thought equally lovely. And, +oh, how Pacchierotti sung!--How -with what exquisite feeling, +what penetrating pathos! I could almost have cried the whole +time, that this one short song was all I should be able to hear ! + +At the beginning of the second act I was obliged to decamp. +James, who had just found me out, was my esquire. "Well," he +cried, in our way to the chair, "will there be war with Spain?" +I assured him I thought not. + +"So I am afraid!" answered the true English tar. " "However, if +there is, I should be glad of a frigate of thirty-two guns. Now, +if you ask for it, don't say a frigate, and get me one of +twenty-eight!" + +Good heaven!--poor innocent James!-- + +And just as I reached the chair--"But how shall you feel," he +cried, "when I ask you to desire a guard-ship for me, in about +two years' time?" + + +I could make no precise answer to that! He then added that he +intended coming to Court! Very much frightened, I besought him +first to come and drink tea with me--which he promised. + +In my way home, as I went ruminating upon this apparently but +just, though really impracticable demand, I weighed well certain +thoughts long revolving, and of late nearly bursting forth and +the result was this--to try all, while yet there is time. +Reproach else may aver, when too late, greater courage Would +have had greater success. This idea settled my resolutions, and +they all bent to one point, risking all risks. + + +Page 357 + May 10.-This evening, by appointment came our good James and his +wife, and soon afterwards, to my great pleasure, Captain Phillips +joined us. I take it, therefore, for granted, he will have told +all that passed in the business way. I was very anxious to +gather more intelligibly the wishes and requests of poor James, +and to put a stop to his coming to Court without taking such +previous steps as are customary. I prevailed, and promised, in +return, to make known his pretensions. + +You may believe, my dear friends, this promise was the result of +the same wish of experiment, and sense of claim upon me of my +family to make it while I may, that I have mentioned. I did-- +this very evening. I did it gaily, and in relating such +anecdotes as were amusingly characteristic of a sailor's honest +but singular notions of things: yet I have done it completely; +his wishes and his claims are now laid open--Heaven knows to what +effect! The Court scheme I have also told; and my royal mistress +very graciously informed me, that if presented by some superior +officer there could be no objection; but otherwise, unless he had +some promotion, it was not quite usual. + + + + CAPTAIN BURNEY AND MR. WINDHAM. + +May 11.-This morning my royal mistress had previously arranged +for me that I should go to the trial, and had given me a ticket +for my little Sarah(331) to accompany me; and late last night, I +believe after twelve o'clock, she most graciously gave me another +for James. just at this time she could not more have gratified +me than by a condescension to my dear brother. Poor Columb was +sent with the intelligence, and directions for our meeting at +seven o'clock this morning, to Norton-street. + +Sarah came early; but James was so late we were obliged to leave +word for him to follow us. He did,--two hours afterwards! by way +of being our esquire; and then told me he knew it would be in +good time, and so he had stopped to breakfast at Sir Joseph +Banks's. I suppose the truth is, it saved him a fresh puff of +powder for some other day. + +We talked over all affairs, naval and national, very comfortably. +The trial is my only place for long dialogues! I gave him a new +and earnest charge that he would not speak home concerning the +prosecution to Mr. Winndham, should he join + +358 + +us. He made me a less reluctant promise than heretofore, for +when last with Charlotte at Aylsham he had frequently visited Mr. +Windham, and had several battles at draughts or backgammon with +him; and there is no Such good security against giving offence as +seeing ourselves that our opponents are worth pleasing. Here, +too, as I told James, however we might think all the managers in +the wrong, they were at least open enemies, and acting a public +part, and therefore they must fight it Out, as he would do with +the Spaniards, if, after all negotiation, they came to battle. + +He allowed this; and promised to leave him to the attacks of the +little privateer, without falling foul of him with a broadside. + +Soon after the trial began Mr. Windham came up to us, and after a +few minutes' chat with me addressed himself to James about the +approaching war. "Are you preparing," he cried, "for a +campaign?" + +"Not such one," cried James, "as we had last summer at Aylsham!" + +"But what officers you are!" he cried, "you men of Captain Cook; +you rise upon us in every trial! This Captain Bligh,--what +feats, what wonders he has performed! What difficulties got +through! What dangers defied! And with such cool, manly skill!" + +They talked the narrative over as far as Mr. Windham had in +Manuscript seen its sketch; but as I had not read it, I could not +enter into its detail. + + + MR. WINDHAM SPEAKS ON A LEGAL POINT. + +Mr. Windham took his seat by my elbow, and renewed one of his old +style of conversations about the trial ; each of us firmly +maintaining our original ground. I believe he has now +relinquished his expectation of making me a convert. He +surprised me soon by saying, "I begin to fear, after all, that +what you have been talking about to me will come to pass." + +I found he meant his own speaking upon a new charge, which, when +I last saw him, he exultingly told me was given up. He explained +the apparent inconsistency by telling me that some new change of +plan had taken place, and that Mr. Burke was extremely urgent +with him to open the next charge: "And I cannot," he cried +emphatically, "leave Burke in the lurch!" I both believed and +applauded him so far; but why + + +)Page 59 +are either of them engaged in a prosecution so uncoloured by +necessity? + +One chance he had still of escaping this tremendous task, he told +me, which was that it might devolve upon Grey but Burke, he did +not disavow, wished it to be himself. "However," he laughingly +added, "I think we may toss up In that case, how I wish he may +lose! not only from believing him the abler enemy, but to reserve +his name from amongst the active list in such a cause. + +He bewailed,---with an arch look that showed his consciousness I +should like the lamentation,--that he was now all unprepared,-- +all fresh to begin in documents and materials, the charge being +wholly new and unexpected, and that which he had considered +relinquished. + +"I am glad, however," cried I, "your original charge is given up; +for I well remember what you said of it." + +"I might be flattered," cried he, "and enough, that you should +remember anything I say--did I not know it was only for the sake +of its subject,"--looking down upon Mr. Hastings. + +I could not possibly deny this but added that I recollected he +had acknowledged his charge was to prove Mr. Hastings mean, +pitiful, little, and fraudulent." + +The trial this day consisted almost wholly in dispute upon +evidence - the managers offered such as the counsel held +improper, and the judges and lords at last adjourned to debate +the matter in their own chamber. Mr. Burke made a very fine +speech upon the rights of the prosecutor to bring forward his +accusation, for the benefit of justice, in such mode as appeared +most consonant to his own reason and the nature of things, +according to their varying appearances as fresh and fresh matter +Occurred. + +The counsel justly alleged the hardship to the client, if thus +liable to new allegations and suggestions, for which he came +unprepared, from a reliance that those publicly given were all +against which he need arm himself, and that, if those were +disproved, he was cleared; while the desultory and shifting +charges of the managers put him out in every method of defence, +by making it impossible to him to discern where he might be +attacked. + +In the course of this debate I observed Mr. Windham so agitated +and so deeply attentive, that it prepared me for what soon +followed : he mounted the rostrum-for the third time only since +this trial commenced. + + +Page 360 + +His speech was only to a point Of law respecting evidence he kept +close to his subject, with a clearness and perspicuity very +uncommon indeed amongst these orators. His voice, however, is +greatly in his disfavour ; for he forces it so violently, either +from earnestness or a fear of not being heard, that, though it +answered the purpose of giving the most perfect distinctness to +what he uttered, its sound had an unpleasing and crude quality +that amazed and disappointed me. The command of his language and +fluency of his delivery, joined to the compact style of his +reasoning and conciseness of his arguments, were all that could +answer my expectations: but his manner--whether from energy or +secret terror--lost all its grace, and by no means seemed to +belong to the elegant and high-bred character that had just +quitted me. + +In brief,--how it may happen I know not,--but he certainly does +not do justice to his own powers and talents in public. He was +excessively agitated: when he had done and dismounted, I saw his +pale face of the most fiery red. Yet he had uttered nothing in a +passion. It must have been simply from internal effort. + +The counsel answered him, and he mounted to reply. Here, indeed, +he did himself honour; his readiness of answer, the vivacity of +his objections, and the instantaneous command of all his +reasoning faculties, were truly striking. Had what he said not +fallen in reply to a speech but that moment made, I must have +concluded it the result Of Study, and all harangue learnt by +heart. He was heard with the most marked attention. + +The second speech, like the first, was wholly upon the laws of +evidence, and Mr. Hastings was not named in either. He is +certainly practising against his great day. And, in truth, I +hold still to my fear of it; for, however little his manner in +public speaking may keep pace with its promise in private +conversation, his matter was tremendously pointed and severe. + +The trial of the day concluded by an adjournment to consult upon +the evidence in debate, with the judges, in the House of Lords. + +Mr. Windham came up to the seats of the Commons in my +neighbourhood, but not to me; he spoke to the Misses +Francis,--daughters of Mr. Hastings's worst foe,--and hurried +down. + +On my return I was called upon to give an account of the + + +Page 361 +trial to their majesties and the princesses, and a formidable +business, I assure you, to perform. + + + AN EMPHATIC PERORATION. + +May 18.-This morning I again went to the trial of poor Mr. +Hastings. Heavens! who can see him sit there unmoved? not even +those who think him guilty,--if they are human. + +I took with me Mrs. Bogle. She had long since begged a ticket +for her husband, which I could never before Procure. We now went +all three. And, indeed, her original speeches and remarks made a +great part of my entertainment. + +Mr. Hastings and his counsel were this day most victorious. I +never saw the prosecutors so dismayed. Yet both Mr. Burke and +Mr. Fox spoke, and before the conclusion so did Mr. Windham. +They were all in evident embarrassment. Mr. Hastings's counsel +finished the day, with a most noble appeal to justice and +innocence, protesting that, if his client did not fairly claim +the one, by proving the other, he wished himself that the +prosecutors-that the lords--that the nation at large--that the +hand of God--might fall heavy upon him! + +This had a great and sudden effect,-- not a word was uttered. +The prosecutors looked dismayed and astonished ; and the day +closed. + +Mr. Windham came up to speak to Misses Francis about a dinner: +but he only, bowed to me, and with a look so conscious---so much +saying, "'TiS your turn to triumph now!: that I had not the spite +to attack him. + +But when the counsel had uttered this animated speech, Mrs. Bogle +was so much struck, she hastily arose, and, clapping her hands, +called out audibly, in a broad Scotch accent, "O, charming!" I +could hardly, quiet her till I assured her we should make a +paragraph for the newspapers. I had the pleasure to deliver this +myself to their majesties, and the princesses--and as I was +called upon while it was fresh in my memory, I believe but little +of the general energy was forgotten. + +It gave me great pleasure to repeat so striking an affirmation of +the innocence of so high, so injured I believe, a character. The +queen eagerly declared I should go again the next sitting. + +Wednesday, May 19.--The real birthday of my royal mistress, to +whom may Heaven grant many, many and prosperous! Dressing, and +so forth, filled up all the morning + + +Page 362 + +and at night I had a t`ete-`a-t`ete with Charles, till twelve. I +got to bed about five in the morning. The sweet princesses had a +ball, and I could not lament my fatigue. + + + AN APTITUDE FOR LOGIC AND FOR GREEK. + +May 20.-To-day again to the trial, to which I took MISS Young, +her majesty having given me two tickets very late overnight. +Miss Young is singularly, as far as I can see, the reverse of her +eccentric parents she is moderation personified. + +Mr. Windham again spoke in the course of this morning's business, +which was chiefly occupied in debating on the admissibility of +the evidence brought forward by the prosecutors. The quickness +and aptness of his arguments, with the admirable facility and +address with which he seized upon those of his opponents, the +counsel, were strong marks of that high and penetrating capacity +so strikingly his characteristic. The only defect in his +speaking is the tone of his voice, which, from exertion, loses +all its powers of modulation, and has a crude accent and +expression very disagreeable. + +During the examination of Mr. Anderson, one of Mr. Hastings's +best friends,--a sensible, well-bred, and gentlemanlike man,--Mr. +Windham came up to my elbow. + +"And can this man," cried he, presently, "this man--so +gentle---be guilty?" + +I accused him of making a point to destroy all admiration of +gentleness in my opinion. "But you are grown very good now!" I +added, "No, very bad I mean!" He knew I meant for speaking ; and +I then gave him burlesqued, various definitions of good, which +had fallen from Mr. Fox in my hearing, the most contradictory, +and, taken out of their place, the most ridiculous imaginable. + +He laughed very much, but seriously confessed that technical +terms and explanations had better have been wholly avoided by +them all, as the counsel were sure to out-technicalise them, and +they were then exposed to greater embarrassments than by steering +clear of the attempt, and resting only upon their common forces. + +"There is one praise," I cried, "which I am always sure to meet +in the newspapers whenever I meet with your name; and I begin to +quite tire of seeing it for you,-your skill in logic!" + + +Page 363 + +"O, I thank you," he cried, earnestly "I am indeed quite ashamed +of the incessant misappropriation of that word." + +"No, no," cried I; "I only tire of it because they seem to think, +when once the word logic and your name are combined, they have +completely stated all. However, in what little I have heard, I +could have suspected you to have been prepared with a speech +ready written, had I not myself heard just before all the +arguments which it answered." + +I then added that I was the less surprise(! at this facility of +language, from having heard my brother declare he knew no man who +read Greek with that extraordinary rapidity--no, not Dr. Parr, +nor any of the professed Grecians, whose peculiar study it had +been through life. + +This could be nothing, he said, but partiality. + +"Not mine, at least," cried I, laughing, "for Greek excellence is +rather Out Of my sphere of panegyric!" + +" +Well," cried he, laughing too at my disclaiming, "'Tis' your +brother's partiality. However, 'tis one I must try not to lose. +I must take to my Greek exercises again." + +They will do you a world of good, thought I, if they take you but +from your prosecution-exercises. + + + MORE TALK WITH MR. WINDHAM. + +We then talked of Mr. Burke. "How finely," I cried, "he has +spoken! with what fullness of intelligence, and what fervour!" +He agreed, with delighted concurrence. "Yet,--so much so long!" +I added. + + +"True!" cried he, ingenuously, yet concerned. "What pity he can +never stop!" + +And then I enumerated some of the diffuse and unnecessary +paragraphs which had weakened his cause, as well as his speech. + +He was perfectly candid, though always with some reluctance. +"But a man who speaks in public," he said, "should never forget +what will do for his auditors: for himself alone, it is not +enough to think ; but for what is fitted, and likely to be +interesting to them." + +"He wants nothing," cried I, "but a flapper." + + +"Yes, and he takes flapping inimitably." + +"You, then," I cried, "should be his flapper." + +"And sometimes," said he, smiling, "I am." + +"O, I often see," said I, "of what use you are to him. I + + +Page 364 + +see you watching him,--reminding, checking him in turn,--at +least, I fancy all this as I look into the managers' box, which +is no small amusement to me,--when there is any commotion there!" + +He bowed; but I never diminished from the frank unfriendliness to +the cause with which I began. But I assured him I saw but too +well how important and useful he was to them, even without +speaking. + +"Perhaps," cried he, laughing, "more than with speaking." + +"I am not meaning to talk Of that now," said I, "but yet, one +thing I will tell you: I hear you more distinctly than any one; +the rest I as often miss as catch, except when they turn this +way,--a favour Which you never did me!" + +"No, no, indeed!" cried he; "to abstract myself from all, is all +that enables me to get on." And then, with his native candour, +he cast aside prejudice, and very liberally praised several +points in this poor persecuted great man. + +I had seen, I said, an initiation from Horace, which had +manifested, I presumed, his scholarship." + +"O, ay," cried he, "an Ode to Mr. Shore, who is one of the next +witnesses. Burke was going to allude to it, but I begged him +not. I do not like to make their lordships smile in this grave +business." + +"That is so right!: cried I: "Ah, you know it IS you and your +attack I have feared most all along!" + +"This flattery"--cried he. + +"Do not use that word any more, Mr. Windham," interrupted I; "if +you do, I shall be tempted to make a very shocking speech to +you--the very reverse of flattery, I assure you." He stared,-- +and I went on. "I shall say,--that those who think themselves +flattered--flatter themselves.!" + +"What?--hey?--How?" cried he. + +"Nay, they cannot conclude themselves flattered, without +concluding they have de quoi to make it worth while!" + +"Why, there--there may be something In that but not here!--no, +here it must flow simply front general benevolence,--from a wish +to give comfort or pleasure." + +I disclaimed all and turned his attention again to Mr. Hastings. +"See!" I cried, "see but how thin--how ill--looks that poor +little uncle of yours!"(332) Again I upbraided him with being +unnatural; and lamented Mr. Hastings's + +Page 365 + +change since I had known him in former days. "And shall I tell +you," I added, "something in which you had nearly been involved +with him?" + +"Me?--with Mr. Hastings?" + +"Yes ! and I regret it did not happen ! You may recollect my +mentioning my original acquaintance with him, before I lived +where I now do." ' + +"Yes, but where you now....I understand you,--expect ere long you +may see him!" + +He meant from his acquittal, and reception at the Queen's house. +And I would not contradict him. + +But, however," I continued, "my acquaintance and regard began +very fairly while I lived at home at my father's and indeed I +regret you could not then and so have known him, as I am +satisfied you would have been pleased with him, which now you +cannot judge. He is so gentle-mannered, so intelligent, so +unassuming, yet so full-minded." + +I have Understood that," he answered; "yet 'tis amazing how +little unison there may be between mariners and characters, and +how softly gentle a man may appear without, whose nature within +is all ferocity and cruelty. This is a part of mankind of which +you cannot judge--of which, indeed, you can scarce form an idea." + +After a few comments I continued what I had to say, which, in +fact, was nothing but another malice of my own against him. I +reminded him of one day in a former year of this trial, when I +had the happiness of sitting at it with my dearest Mrs. Locke, in +which he had been so obliging, with reiterated offers, as to +propose seeing for my servant, etc.-" "Well," I continued, "I was +afterwards extremely sorry I had not accepted your kindness; for +just as we were going away, who should be passing, and turn back +to speak to me, but Mr. Hastings!" +'O!' he cried, 'I must come here to see you, I find!' Now, had +you but been with me at that moment! I own it would have been the +greatest pleasure to me to have brought you together though I am +quite at a loss to know whether I ought, in that case, to have +presented you to each other." + +He laughed most heartily,-half, probably, with joy at his escape; +but he had all his wits about him in his answer. "If you," he +cried, "had been between US, we might, for once, have coalesced-- +in both bowing to the same shrine!" + +(322) Wednesday, November 18.-ED. + +(323) Covent Garden.-ED. + +(324) A comedy by Reynolds, originally produced at Covent Garden, +May 15, 1789.-ED. + +(325) Sir Robert Gunning, the bride's father.-ED. + +(326) Fanny refers to Burke's attitude during the Regency +debates, in which, as a member of the opposition, he had +supported Mr. Fox.-ED, + +(327) "A Narrative of the mutiny on board his majesty's ship +Bounty; and the subsequent Voyage of part of the Crew, in the +ship's boat, from Tofoa, one of the Friendly Islands, to Timor, a +Dutch settlement in the East Indies. Written by Lieutenant +William Bligh." London, 1790. Lieutenant (afterwards Admiral) +Bligh was appointed to the command of the Bounty in August, 1787. +He sailed from England in December, and arrived at Otaheite, +October 26, 1788, the object of his voyage being to transplant +the bread fruit tree from the South Sea Islands to the British +colonies in the West Indies, with a view to its acclimatisation +there. A delay of more than five months at Otaheite demoralized +the crew, to whom the dolce far mente of life in a Pacific +island, and the Charms of the Otaheitan women, offered greater +attractions than the toils of sea-faring under a somewhat +tyrannical captain. The Bounty left Otaheite April 4, 1789, and +on the 28th of the same month a mutiny broke out under the +leadership of the mater's mate, Fletcher Christian. Captain +Bligh and eighteen of his men were set adrift in the ship's boat, +in which they sailed for nearly three months, undergoing terrible +privations, and reaching the Dutch settlement at Timor, an island +off the east coast of Java, June 14. Bligh arrived in England, +March 14, 1790. The mutineers finally settled in Pitcairn's +island, where their descendants are still living.-ED. + +(328) See note ante 263, p. 102.-ED. + +(329) Mrs. Piozzi's youngest daughter, who had accompanied her +mother and step-father abroad.-ED. 2 It appears from a note in +(330) It appears from a note in the "Memoirs of Dr. Burney" (vol. +iii. p. 199), that Fanny had once before met Mrs Piozzi since her +marriage, at an assembly at Mrs. Locke's. This meeting must have +taken place Soon after the marriage, as Mrs. Piozzi went abroad + with her husband shortly afterwards.-ED. + +(331) Fanny's half-sister.-ED. + +(332) An allusion to the personal resemblance between Windham and +Hastings. See ante, p. 149.-ED. + + + + +Page 366 + SECTION 17. + (1790-1) + + + MISS BURNEY RESIGNS HER PLACE AT COURT. + + +[The following section concludes the story of Fanny's life at +Court. Her entire unfitness for the position which she there +occupied had been, from the commencement, no secret to herself; +but her tenderness for her father had determined her to endure to +the utmost before resigning a place to which her appointment had +been to him, in his short-sighted folly, a source of such extreme +gratification. But now she could endure no longer. The +occasional relief which she had found in the society of Mrs. +Delany and Colonel Digby had been brought to an end by the death +of the one and the marriage of the other ; her spirits were +broken, her state of health was becoming daily more alarming and +she at last summoned up courage to consult her father on the +subject, and to make known to him her desire of resigning. Blind +as he had shown himself to the true interests of his daughter, +Dr. Burney was still the most affectionate of parents. He heard +Fanny's complaint with grief and disappointment, but with instant +acquiescence in her wishes. His consent to her plan being +obtained, Fanny for some months took no further steps in the +matter. She was willing to remain at her post so long as she was +capable, with whatever difficulty, of supporting its fatigues. +But her health failed more and more, and the memorial was at last +(December, 1790) presented to the queen. Even yet the day of +release was far distant. The "sweet queen" was in no hurry to +part with so faithful a servant, and although she had accepted +the resignation, she did not conceal her displeasure at being +reminded of it. Meanwhile the unfortunate victim of royal +selfishness was growing daily weaker. Her friends were seriously +alarmed: even her fellow-slaves at Court commiserated her, and +urged her retirement. A successor was at length appointed, and +on the 7th of July, 1791, Fanny found herself once more free. + + +Page 367 + +During the interval which elapsed between the consultation with +Dr. Burney and the presentation of the memorial, an incident +occurred which occasioned to Fanny much distress and not a little +annoyance. Her own narrative of the affair we have not thought +it necessary to include in our selection from the "Diary," but +here a few words on the subject may be not unacceptable. Fanny's +man-servant, a Swiss named Jacob Columb, had fallen dangerously +ill in the summer of 1790, and was sent, in August, to St. +George's Hospital. He was much attached to his mistress, who, he +said, had treated him with greater kindness than father, mother, +or any of his relatives, and on leaving Windsor he begged her to +hold in trust for him the little money in his possession, +amounting to ten guineas. She offered him a receipt for the +money, but he refused it, and when she insisted, exclaimed, "No, +ma'am, I won't take it! You know what it is, and I know what it +is; and if I live I'm sure you won't wrong me: and if I don't, +nobody else sha'n't have it!" Moved to tears by the poor +fellow's earnestness, Fanny complied with his request. In the +following month he died at the hospital, desiring, in his last +moments, to leave everything to his sisters in Switzerland. "He +certainly meant," writes Fanny, "everything of his wearing +apparel, watches, etc., for what money he had left in my hands he +would never tell anybody." She was preparing, accordingly, to +transmit Columb's effects, including, of course, the ten guineas, +to Switzerland, when a claimant appeared in the person of Peter +Bayond, a countryman of the deceased. This man produced a will, +purporting to be Columb's, by which the property was left to be +divided between Bayond himself and James Columb, a cousin of the +pretended testator, then in service with Horace Walpole. Fanny's +instant conviction was that the will was a forgery, and the +appearance and behaviour of Bayond confirmed her in this belief. +James Columb, moreover, concurred in her opinion, and she had +decided to ignore this new claim, when she received an attorney's +letter, desiring her to pay to Bayond the sum in her hands of the +late Jacob Columb. She then wrote to Walpole, who offered her +his assistance, with many expressions of warm regard. But +finally, after much trouble, and threats of a lawsuit, she was +advised that her best plan would be to let the will take its +course, and to pay over to the claimant the sum in question ; and +thus the matter was settled, "in a manner," she writes, "the most +mortifying to Mr. Walpole and myself."-ED.) + + +Page 368 + + A MELANCHOLY CONFESSION. + + May 25.-The Princess Augusta condescended to bring me a most +gracious message from the king, desiring to know if I wished to +go to Handel's Commemoration, and if I should like the "Messiah," +or prefer any other day? + +With my humble acknowledgments for his goodness, I fixed +instantly on the "Messiah" and the very amiable princess came +smiling back to me, bringing me my ticket from the king. +This would not, indeed, much have availed me, but that I +fortunately knew my dear father meant to go to the Abbey. I +despatched Columb to Chelsea, and he promised to call for me the +next morning. + +My "Visions" I had meant to produce in a few days; and to know +their chance before I left town for the summer.(333) But I +thought the present opportunity not to be slighted, for some +little opening, that might lighten the task of the exordium upon +the day of attempt. He was all himself--all his native self- +-kind, gay, open, and full fraught with converse. + +Chance favoured me: we found so little room, that we were fain to +accept two vacant places at once, though they separated us from +my uncle, Mr. Burney, and his brother James, who were all there, +and all meant to be of the same party. + +I might not, at another time, have rejoiced in this disunion, but +it was now most opportune: it gave me three hours' conference +with my dearest father--the only conference of that length I have +had in four years. + +Fortune again was kind ; for my father began relating various +anecdotes of attacks made upon him for procuring to sundry +strangers some acquaintance with his daughter,(334) particularly +with the Duchesse de Biron, and the Mesdames de Boufflers(335) to +whom he answered, he had no power; but was somewhat + +Page 369 + +struck by the question of Madame de B. in return, who exclaimed, +"Mais, monsieur, est-ce possible! Mademoiselle votre fille n'a-t- +elle point de vacance?"(336) + +This led to much interesting discussion, and to many confessions +and explanations on my part, never made before; which induced him +to enter more fully into the whole of the situation, and its +circumstances, than he had ever yet had the leisure or the +spirits to do; and he repeated sundry speeches of discontent at +my seclusion from the world. + +All this encouraged me to much detail: I spoke my high and +constant veneration for my royal mistress, her merits, her +virtues, her condescension, and her even peculiar kindness +towards me. But I owned the species of life distasteful to me; I +was lost to all private comfort, dead to all domestic endearment; +I was worn with want of rest, and fatigued with laborious +watchfulness and attendance. My time was devoted to official +duties; and all that in life was dearest to me--my friends, my +chosen society, my best affections--lived now in my mind only by +recollection, and rested upon that with nothing but bitter +regret. With relations the most deservedly dear, with friends of +almost unequalled goodness, I lived like an orphan-like one who +had no natural ties, and must make her way as she could by those +that were factitious. Melancholy was the existence where +happiness was excluded, though not a complaint could be made! +where the illustrious personages who were served possessed almost +all human excellence, yet where those who were their servants, +though treated with the most benevolent condescension, could +never, in any part of the live-long day, command liberty, or +social intercourse, or repose. + +The silence of my dearest father now silencing myself, I turned +to look at him; but how was I struck to see his honoured head +bowed down almost into his bosom with dejection and discomfort!-- +we were both perfectly still a few moments; but when he raised +his head I could hardly keep my seat, to see his eyes filled with +tears!--"I have long," he cried, "been uneasy, though I have not +spoken; but if you wish to resign, my house, my purse, my arms, +shall be open to receive you, back;" + +Page 370 + +The emotion of my whole heart at this speech-this sweet, this +generous speech--O my dear friends, I need not say it + +We were mutually forced to break up Our conference. I could only +instantly accept his paternal offer, and tell him it was my +guardian angel, it was Providence in its own benignity, that +inspired him with such goodness. I begged him to love the day in +which he had given me such comfort, and assured him it would rest +upon my heart with grateful pleasure till it ceased to beat. + +He promised to drink tea with me before I left town, and settle +all our proceedings. I acknowledged my intention to have +ventured to solicit this very permission of resigning.- "But I," +cried he, smiling with the sweetest kindness, "have spoken first +myself." + +What a joy to me, what a relief, this very circumstance! it will +always lighten any evil that may, unhappily, follow this proposed +step. + + + CAPTAIN BURNEY's LACONIC LETTER AND INTERVIEW. + + +June.-I went again to the trial of poor Mr. Hastings : Mrs. Ord +received from me my companion ticket, kindly giving up the Duke +of Newcastle's box to indulge me with her company. + +But I must mention an extraordinary circumstance that happened in +the last week. I received in a parcel--No, I will recite it you +as I told it to Mr. Windham, who, fortunately, saw and came up to +me--fortunately, I say, as the business of the day was very +unedifying, and as Mrs. Ord much wished to hear some of his +conversation. + +He inquired kindly about James and his affairs, and if he had yet +a ship; and, to let him see a person might reside in a Court, and +yet have no undue influence, I related his proceedings with Lord +Chatham, and his laconic letter and interview. The first running +thus:-- + +"My Lord,--I should be glad of an audience; if your Lordship will +be so good to appoint a time, I will wait upon you. I am, my +Lord, your humble servant, +"James Burney." + +"And pray," quoth I to James, when he told me this, "did you not +say the honour of an audience?" + + +Page 371 +"No," answered he, "I was civil enough without that; I said, If +you will be so good--that was very civil--and honour is quite +left off now." + +How comic! to run away proudly from forms and etiquettes, and +then pretend it was only to be more in the last mode. Mr. +Windham enjoyed this characteristic trait very much; and he likes +James so well that he deserved it, as well as the interview which +ensued. + +"How do you do, Captain Burney?" + +"My lord, I should be glad to be employed." + +" You must be sensible, Captain Burney, we have many claimants +just now, and more than it is possible to satisfy immediately." + +"I am very sensible of that, my lord; but, at the same time, I +wish to let your lordship know what I should like to have--a +frigate of thirty-two guns." + +"I am very glad to know what you wish, sir." + +He took out his pocket-book, made a memorandum, and wished James +a good morning. + +Whether or not it occurred to Mr. Windham, while I told this, +that there seemed a shorter way to Lord Chatham, and one more in +his own style, I know not: he was too delicate to let such a hint +escape, and I would not for the world intrust him with my +applications and disappointments. + + + BURKE'S SPEECH ON THE FRENCH REVOLUTION. + +But I have found," cried I afterwards, "another newspaper praise +for you now, 'Mr. Windham, with his usual vein of irony."' + +"O, yes," cried he, "I saw that! But what can it mean?--I use no +'vein of irony;'--I dislike it, except for peculiar purposes, +keenly handled, and soon passed over." + +" Yet this is the favourite panegyric you receive continually,-- +this, or logic, always attends your name in the newspapers." + +"But do I use it?" + +"Nay, not to me, I own. As a manner, I never found it out, at +least. However, I am less averse now than formerly to the other +panegyric--close logic,--for I own the more frequently I come +hither the more convinced I find myself that that is no character +of commendation to be given universally." + + +He could say nothing to this; and really the dilatory, + +Page 372 + +desultory style of these prosecutors in general deserved a much +deeper censure. + +"If a little closeness of logic and reasoning were observed by +one I look at now, what a man would he be, and who could compare +with him!" Mr. Burke you are sure was here my object; and his +entire, though silent and unwilling, assent was obvious. + +"What a speech," I continued, "has he lately made!(337) how +noble, how energetic, how enlarged throughout!" + +"O," cried he, very unaffectedly, "upon the French Revolution?" + +"Yes; and any party might have been proud of it, for liberality, +for feeling, for all in one--genius. I, who am only a reader of +detached speeches, have read none I have thought its equal." + +"Yet, such as you have seen it, it does not do him justice. I +was not in the House that day ; but I am assured the actual +speech, as he spoke it at the moment, was highly superior to what +has since been printed. There was in it a force--there were +shades of reflection so fine--allusions so quick and so happy-- +and strokes of satire and observation so pointed and so apt,-- +that it had ten times more brilliancy when absolutely extempore +than when transmitted to paper." + +"Wonderful, wonderful! He is a truly wonderful creature!" And, +alas, thought I, as wonderful in inconsistency as in greatness! + +In the course of a discussion more detailed upon faculties, I +ventured to tell him what impression they had made upon James, +who was with me during one of the early long speeches. "I was +listening," I said, " with the most fer- + +Page 373 + +vent attention to such strokes of eloquence as, while I heard +them, carried all before them, when my brother pulled me by the +sleeve to exclaim, 'When will he come to the point?"' + +The justness, notwithstanding his characteristic conciseness, of +this criticism, I was glad thus to convey. Mr. Windham however, +would not subscribe to it; but, with a significant smile, coolly +said, "Yes, 'tis curious to hear a man of war's ideas of +rhetoric." + +"Well," quoth I, to make a little amends, "shall I tell you a +compliment he paid you?" + + +"Me?" + +"Yes. 'He speaks to the purpose,' he cried." + + + + AN AWKWARD MEETING. + +Some time after, with a sudden recollection, he eagerly +exclaimed, "O, I knew I had something I wished to tell you! I +was the other day at a place to see Stuart's Athenian +architecture, and whom do you think I met in the room?" + +I could not guess. + +"Nay, 'tis precisely what you will like--Mr. Hastings!" + +"Indeed!" cried I, laughing; "I must own I am extremely glad to +hear it. I only wish you could both meet without either knowing +the other." + +"Well, we behaved extremely well, I assure you ; and looked each +as if we had never seen one another before. I determined to let +you know it." . . . + + + A NEW VISIT FROM MRS. FAIRLY. + +The day after the birthday I had again a visit from Mrs. Fairly. +I was in the midst of packing, and breakfasting, and confusion - +for we left town immediately, to return no more till next year, +except to St. James's for the Drawing-room. However, I made her +as welcome as I was able, and she was more soft and ingratiating +in her manners than I ever before observed her. I apologised two +or three times for not waiting upon her, representing my confined +abilities for visiting. + + + ONE TRAGEDY FINISHED AND ANOTHER COMMENCED. + +August.-As I have only my almanac memorandums for this month, I +shall hasten immediately to what I think my dear partial +lecturers will find most to their taste in the course of it. + + +Page 374 + +Know then, fair ladies, about the middle of this August, 17 90, +the author finished the rough first draft and copy of her first +tragedy. What species of a composition it may prove she is very +unable to tell; she only knows it was an almost spontaneous work, +and soothed the melancholy of imagination for a while, though +afterwards it impressed it with a secret sensation of horror, so +like real woe, that she believes it contributed to the injury her +sleep received about this period. + +Nevertheless, whether well or ill, she is pleased to have done +something at last, she had so long lived in all ways as nothing. + +You will smile, however, at my next trust; but scarce was this +completed,-as to design and scenery I mean, for the whole is in +its first rough state, and legible only to herself,- scarce, +however, had this done with imagination, to be consigned over to +correction, when imagination seized upon another subject for +another tragedy. + +The first therefore I have deposited in my strong-box, in all its +imperfections, to attend to the other; I well know correction may +always be summoned, Imagination never will come but by choice. I +received her, therefore, a welcome guest,--the best adapted for +softening weary solitude, where only coveted to avoid irksome +exertion. + + + MISS BURNEY's RESIGNATION MEMORIAL. + +October.-I now drew up my memorial, or rather, showed it to my +dearest father. He so much approved it, that he told me he would +not have a comma of it altered. I will copy it for you. It is +as respectful and as grateful as I had words at command to make +it, and expressive of strong devotion and attachment; but it +fairly and firmly states that my strength is inadequate to the +duties of my charge, and, therefore, that I humbly crave +permission to resign it and retire into domestic life. It was +written in my father's name and my own. I had now that dear +father's desire to present it upon the first auspicious moment: +and O! with what a mixture of impatience and dread unspeakable +did I look forward to such an opportunity! + +The war was still undecided : still I inclined to wait its issue, +as I perpetually brought in my wishes for poor James, though +without avail. Major Garth, our last equerry, was raised to a +high post in the West Indies, and the rank of colonel, I +recommended James to his notice and regard if + + +Page 375 +they met; and a promise most readily and pleasantly made to seek +him out and present him to his brother, the general, if they ever +served in the same district, was all, I think, that my Court +residence obtained for my marine department of interest! + +Meanwhile, one morning at Kew, Miss Cambridge was so much alarmed +at my declining state of health that she would take no denial to +my seeing and consulting Mr. Dundas. He ordered me the bark, and +it strengthened me so much for awhile, that I was too much +recruited for presenting my sick memorial, which I therefore cast +aside. + +Mrs. Ord spent near a week at Windsor in the beginning of this +month. I was ill, however, the whole time, and suffered so much +from my official duties, that my good Mrs. Ord, day after day, +evidently lost something more and more of her partiality to my +station, from witnessing fatigues of which she had formed no +idea, and difficulties and disagreeabilities in carrying on a +week's intercourse, even with so respectable a friend, which I +believe she had thought impossible. + +Two or three times she burst forth into ejaculations strongly +expressive of fears for my health and sorrow at its exhausting +calls. I could not but be relieved in my own mind that this +much-valued, most maternal friend should thus receive a +conviction beyond all powers of representation, that my place was +of a sort to require a strength foreign to my make. + +She left me in great and visible uneasiness, and wrote to me +continually for bills of health, I never yet so much loved her, +for, kind as I have always found her, I never yet saw in her so +much true tenderness. + + + MR. WINDHAM INTERVENES. + +In this month, also, I first heard of the zealous exertions and +chivalrous intentions of Mr. Windham. Charles told me they never +met without his demounting the whole thunders of his oratory +against the confinement by which he thought my health injured; +with his opinion that it must be counteracted speedily by +elopement, no other way seeming effectual. + +But with Charlotte he came more home to the point. Their +vicinity in Norfolk occasions their meeting, though very seldom +at the house of Mr. Francis, who resents his prosecution of Mr. +Hastings, and never returns his visits; but at assemblies at +Aylsham and at Lord Buckingham's dinners they are certain of now +and then encountering. + + +Page 376 + +This summer, when Mr. Windham went to Felbrig, his Norfolk seat, +they soon met at an assembly, and he immediately opened upon his +disapprobation of her sister's monastic life, adding, "I do not +venture to speak thus freely upon this subject to everybody, but +to you I think I may; at least, I hope it." + +Poor dear Charlotte was too full-hearted for disguise, and they +presently entered into a confidential cabal, that made her quite +disturbed and provoked when hurried away. From this time, +whenever they met, they were pretty much of a mind. "I cannot +see you," he always cried, "without recurring to that painful +subject--your sister's situation." He then broke forth in an +animated offer of his own services to induce Dr. Burney to finish +such a captivity, if he could flatter himself he might have any +influence. + +Charlotte eagerly promised him the greatest, and he gave her his +promise to go to work. + +O What a noble Quixote! How much I feel obliged to him! How +happy, when I may thank him! + +He then pondered upon ways and means. He had already sounded my +father: "but it is resolution," he added, "not inclination, Dr. +Burney wants." After some further reflection, he then fixed upon +a plan : "I will set the Literary Club(338) upon him!" he cried: +"Miss Burney has some very true admirers there, and I am sure +they will all eagerly assist. We will present him a petition--an +address." + +Much more passed: Mr. Windham expressed a degree of interest and +kindness so cordial, that Charlotte says she quite longed to +shake hands with him; and if any success ever accrues, she +certainly must do it. + +Frightened, however, after she returned home, she feared our +dearest father might unfairly be overpowered, and frankly wrote +him a recital of the whole, counselling him to see Mr. Windham in +private before a meeting at the club should take place. + + + AN AMUSING INTERVIEW WITH MR. BOSWELL. + +And now for a scene a little surprising. + +The beautiful chapel of St. George, repaired and finished by the +best artists at an immense expense, which was now opened after a +very long shutting up for its preparations, brought in- + +Page 377 + +numerable strangers to Windsor, and, among others, Mr. Boswell. + +This I heard, in my way to the chapel, from Mr. Turbulent, who +overtook me, and mentioned having met Mr. Boswell at the Bishop +of Carlisle's the evening, before. He proposed bringing him to +call upon me; but this I declined, certain how little +satisfaction would be given here by the entrance of a man so +famous for compiling anecdotes. But yet I really wished to see +him again, for old acquaintance sake, and unavoidable amusement +from his oddity and good humour, as well as respect for the +object of his constant admiration, my revered Dr. Johnson. I +therefore told Mr. Turbulent I should be extremely glad to speak +with him after the service was over. + +Accordingly, at the gate of the choir, Mr. Turbulent brought him +to me. We saluted With mutual glee: his comic-serious face and +manner have lost nothing of their wonted singularity nor yet have +his mind and language, as you will soon confess. + +"I am extremely glad to see you indeed," he cried, "but very +sorry to see you here. My dear ma'am, why do you stay ?--it +won't do, ma'am! You must resign!--we can put up with it no +longer. I told my good host the bishop so last night; we are all +grown quite outrageous!" + +Whether I laughed the most, or stared the most, I am at a loss to +say, but i hurried away from the cathedral, not to have such +treasonable declarations overheard, for We Were surrounded by a +multitude. + +He accompanied me, however, not losing one moment in continuing +his exhortations: "If you do not quit, ma'am, very soon, some +violent measures, I assure you, will be taken. We shall address +Dr. Burney in a body; I am ready to make the harangue myself. We +shall fall upon him all at once." + +I stopped him to inquire about Sir Joshua; he said he saw him +very often, and that his spirits were very good. I asked about +Mr. Burke's book.(339) "O," cried he "it Will come Out next +week: 'tis the first book in the World, except my own, and that's +coming out also very soon; only I want your help." + +"My help?" + +"Yes, madam,--you must give me some of your choice little notes +of the doctor's; we have seen him long enough upon + + Page 378 + +stilts; I want to show him in a new light. Grave Sam, and great +Sam, and solemn Sam, and learned Sam,--all these he has appeared +over and over. Now I want to entwine a wreath of the graces +across his brow; I want to show him as gay Sam, agreeable Sam, +pleasant Sam; so you must help me with some +of his beautiful billets to yourself." + +I evaded this by declaring I had not any stores at hand. He +proposed a thousand curious expedients to get at them, but I was +invincible. + +Then I was hurrying on, lest I should be too late. He followed +eagerly, and again exclaimed, "But, ma'am, as I tell you, this +won't do; you must resign off hand! Why, I would farm you out +myself for double, treble the money! I wish I had the regulation +of such a farm,--yet I am no farmer-general. But I should like +to farm you, and so I will tell Dr. Burney. I mean to address +him; I have a speech ready for the first opportunity." + +He then told me his " Life of Dr. Johnson " was nearly printed, +and took a proof-sheet out of his pocket to show me; with crowds +passing and repassing, knowing me well, and staring well at him: +for we were now at the iron rails of the Queen's lodge. + + +I stopped; I could not ask him in : I saw he expected it, and was +reduced to apologise, and tell him I must attend the queen +immediately. + +He uttered again stronger and stronger exhortations for my +retreat, accompanied by expressions which I was obliged to check +in their bud. But finding he had no chance for entering, he +stopped me again at the gate, and said he would read me a part of +his work. + +There was no refusing this: and he began with a letter of Dr. +Johnson's to himself. He read it in strong imitation of the +doctor's manner, very well, and not caricature. But Mrs. +Schwellenberg was at her window, a crowd was gathering to stand +round the rails, and the king and queen and royal family now +approached from the Terrace. I made a rather quick apology, and, +with a step as quick as my now weakened limbs have left in my +power, I hurried to my apartment. + +You may suppose I had inquiries enough, from all around, of "Who +was the gentleman I was talking to at the rails? And an +injunction rather frank not to admit him beyond those limits. + +However, I saw him again the next morning, in coming + +Page 379 + +from early prayers, and he again renewed his remonstrances, and +his petition for my letters of Dr. Johnson. I cannot consent to +print private letters, even of a man so justly celebrated, when +addressed to myself: no, I shall hold sacred those revered and +but too scarce testimonies of the high honour his kindness +conferred upon me. One letter I have from him that is a +masterpiece of elegance and kindness united. 'Twas his last, + + + ILL, UNSETTLED, AND UNHAPPY. + +November.-This month will be very brief of annals; I was so ill, +so unsettled, so unhappy during every day, that I kept not a +memorandum. All the short benefit I had received from the bark +was now at an end : languor, feverish nights, and restless days +were incessant. My memorial was always in my mind ; my courage +never rose to bringing it from my letter-case. Yet the war was +over, the hope of a ship for my brother demolished, and my health +required a change of life equally with my spirits and my +happiness. + +The queen was all graciousness; and her favour and confidence and +smiles redoubled my difficulties. I saw she had no suspicion but +that I was hers for life ; and, unimportant as I felt myself to +her, in any comparison with those for whom I quitted her, I yet +knew not how to give her the unpleasant surprise of a resignation +for which I saw her wholly unprepared. . + +It is true, my depression of spirits and extreme alteration of +person might have operated as a preface; for I saw no one, except +my royal mistress and Mrs. Schwellenberg, who noticed not the +change, or who failed to pity and question me upon my health and +my fatigues; but as they alone saw it not, or mentioned it not, +that afforded me no resource. And thus, with daily intention to +present my petition and conclude this struggle, night always +returned with the effort unmade, and the watchful morning arose +fresh to new purposes that seemed only formed for demolition. +And the month expired as it began, with a desire the most +strenuous of liberty and peace, combated by reluctance +unconquerable to give pain, displeasure, or distress to my very +gracious royal mistress. + +December.-My loss of health was now so notorious, that no part of +the house could wholly avoid acknowledging it; yet was the +terrible picquet the catastrophe of every evening, + + +Page 380 + +though frequent pains in my side forced me, three or four times +in a game, to creep to my own room for hartshorn and for rest. +And so weak and faint I was become, that I was compelled to put +my head out into the air, at all hours, and in all weathers, from +time to time, to recover the power of breathing, which seemed not +seldom almost withdrawn. + +Her majesty was very kind during this time, and the princesses +interested themselves about me with a sweetness very grateful to +me; indeed, the whole household showed compassion and regard, and +a general opinion that I was falling into a decline ran through +the establishment. . . . Thus there seemed about my little +person a universal commotion ; and it spread much farther, +amongst those I have never or slightly mentioned. There seemed, +indeed, but one opinion, that resignation of place or of life was +the only remaining alternative. + +There seemed now no time to be lost - when I saw my dear father +he recommended to me to be speedy,, and my mother was very kind +in urgency for immediate measures. I could +not, however, summon courage to present my memorial; my heart +always failed me, from seeing the queen's entire freedom from +such an expectation: for though I was frequently so ill in her +presence that I could hardly stand, I saw she concluded me, while +life remained, inevitably hers. + + + A MEDICAL OPINION ON MISS BURNEY'S CONDITION. + +Finding my inability unconquerable, I at length determined upon +consulting Mr. Francis. I wrote to Charlotte a faithful and +Minute account of myself', with all my attacks--cough, pain In +the side, weakness, sleeplessness, etc.,--at full length, and +begged Mr. Francis's opinion how I must proceed. Very kindly he +wrote directly to my father, exhorting instantaneous resignation, +as all that stood before me to avert some dangerous malady. + +The dear Charlotte at the same time wrote to me conjuring my +prompt retreat with the most affecting earnestness. + +The uneasiness that preyed upon my spirits in a task so difficult +to perform for myself, joined to my daily declension in health, +was now so apparent, that, though I could go no farther, I paved +the way for an opening, by owning to the queen that Mr. Francis +had been consulted upon my health. + +The queen now frequently inquired concerning his answer; + + +Page 381 + +but as I knew he had written to my father, I deferred giving the +result till I had had a final conference with that dear parent. +I told her majesty my father Would show me the letter when I saw +him. This I saw raised for the first time a surmise that +something was in agitation, though I am certain the suspicion did +not exceed an expectation that leave would be requested for a +short absence to recruit. + +My dearest father, all kindness and goodness, yet all alarm, +thought time could never be more favourable; and when next I saw +him at Chelsea, I wrote a second memorial to enclose the original +one. With a beating heart, and every pulse throbbing, I returned +thus armed to the Queen's house. + +Mrs. Schwellenberg sent for me to her room. I could hardly +articulate a word to her. My agitation was so great that I was +compelled to acknowledge something very awful was impending in my +affairs, and to beg she would make no present inquiries. I had +not meant to employ her in the business, nor to name it to her, +but I was too much disturbed for concealment or evasion. She +seemed really sorry, and behaved with a humanity I had not had +much reason to expect. + +I spent a terrible time till I went to the queen at night, +spiriting myself up for my task, and yet finding apprehension +gain ground every moment. Mrs. Schwellenberg had already been +some time with her majesty when I was summoned. I am sure she +had already mentioned the little she had gathered. I could +hardly perform my customary offices from excess of trepidation. +The queen looked at me with the most inquisitive solicitude. +When left with her a moment I tried vainly to make an opening: I +could not. She was too much impressed herself by my manner to +wait long. She soon inquired what answer had arrived from Mr. +Francis? + +That he could not, I said, prescribe at a distance. + +I hoped this would be understood, and said no more. The queen +looked much perplexed, but made no answer. + + + MISS BURNEY BREAKS THE MATTER TO THE QUEEN. + +The next morning I was half dead with real illness, +excessive nervousness, and the struggle of what I had to force +myself to perform. The queen again was struck with my +appearance, which I believe indeed to have been shocking. +When I was alone with her, she began upon Mr. Francis with more +inquiry. I then tried to articulate that I had something of + +Page 382 + +deep consequence to myself to lay before her majesty; but that I +was so unequal in my weakened state to speak it, that I had +ventured to commit it to Writing, and entreated Permission to +produce it. + +She could hardly hear me, yet understood enough to give immediate +consent. + +I then begged to know if I might present it -myself, or whether I +should give it to Mrs. Schwellenberg. + +"O, to me! to me!" she cried, with kind eagerness. She added, +however, not then; as she was going to breakfast. + +This done was already some relief, terrible as was all that +remained; but I now knew I must go on, and that all my fears and +horrors were powerless to stop me. + +This was a Drawing-room day. I saw the king at St. James's, and +he made the most gracious inquiries about my health: so did each +of the princesses. I found they were now all aware of its +failure. The queen proposed to me to see Dr. Gisburne: the king +seconded the proposition. There was no refusing; yet, just now, +it was distressing to comply. + +The next morning, Friday, when again I was alone with the queen, +she named the subject, and told me she would rather I should give +the paper to the Schwellenberg, who had been lamenting to her my +want of confidence in her, and saying I confided and told +everything to the queen. "I answered," continued her majesty, +"that you were always very good; but that, with regard to +confiding, you seemed so happy with all your family, and to live +so well together, that there was nothing to say." + +I now perceived Mrs. Schwellenberg suspected some dissension at +home was the cause of my depression. I was sorry not to deliver +my memorial to the Principal person, and yet glad to have it to +do where I felt so much less compunction in giving pain. + + + THE MEMORIAL AND EXPLANATORY NOTE. + +I now desired an audience of Mrs. Schwellenberg. With what +trembling agitation did I deliver her my paper, requesting her to +have the goodness to lay it at the feet of the queen before her +majesty left town ! We were then to set out for Windsor before +twelve o'clock. Mrs. Schwellenberg herself remained in town. + +Here let me copy the memorial. + + +Page 383 + + +Most humbly presented to Her Majesty. + +"Madam, +"With the deepest sense of your Majesty's goodness and +condescension, amounting even to sweetness--to kindness who can +wonder I should never have been able to say what I know not how +to write--that I find my strength and health unequal to my duty? + +"Satisfied that I have regularly been spared and favoured by your +Majesty's humane consideration to the utmost, I could never bring +myself to the painful confession of my secret disquietude ; but I +have long felt creeping upon me a languor, a feebleness, that +makes, at times, the most common attendance a degree of capital +pain to me, and an exertion that I could scarce have made, but +for the revived alacrity with which your Majesty's constant +graciousness has inspired me, and would still, I believe, inspire +me, even to my latest hour, while in your Majesty's immediate +presence. I kept this to myself while I thought it might wear +away,-or, at least, I only communicated it to obtain some medical +advice: but the weakness, though it comes only in fits, has of +late so much Increased, that I have hardly known how, many days, +to keep myself about--or to rise up in the morning, or to stay up +at night. + +"At length, however, as my constitution itself seems slowly, yet +surely, giving way, my father became alarmed. + +"I must not enter, here, upon his mortification and +disappointment: the health and preservation of his daughter could +alone be more precious to him than your Majesty's protection. + +"With my own feelings upon the subject it would ill become me to +detain your Majesty, and the less, as I am fully sensible my +place, in point of its real business, may easily he far better +supplied;--In point of sincere devotion to your majesty, I do not +so readily yield. I can only, therefore, most humbly entreat +that your Majesty will deign to accept from my father and myself +the most dutiful acknowledgments for the uniform benignity so +graciously shown to me during the whole of my attendance. My +father had originally been apprehensive of my inability, with +regard to strength, for sustaining any but the indulgence of a +domestic life : but your Majesty's justice and liberality will +make every allowance for the flattered feelings of a parent's +heart, which could not endure, untried, to relinquish for his +daughter so high an honour as a personal office about your +Majesty. + + +Page 384 + +I dare not, Madam, presume to hope that Your Majesty's +condescension will reach to the smallest degree of concern at +parting with me; but permit me, Madam, humbly, earnestly, and +fervently, to solicit that I may not be deprived of the mental +benevolence of your Majesty, which so thankfully I have +experienced, and so gratefully must for ever remember. + +That every blessing, every good, may light upon your Majesties +here, and await a future and happier period hereafter, will be +always amongst the first prayers of, + +"Madam, your Majesty's ever devoted, ever grateful, most +attached, and most dutiful subject and servant, +"Frances Burney." + +With this, though written so long ago, I only wrote an +explanatory note to accompany it, which I will also copy:-- + +"Madam, +"May I yet humbly presume to entreat your Majesty's patience for +a few added lines, to say that the address which I now most +respectfully lay at your Majesty's feet was drawn up two months +ago, when first I felt so extreme a weakness as to +render the smallest exertion a fatigue? While I waited, however, +for firmness to present it, I took the bark, and found myself, +for some time, so much amended, that I put it aside, and my +father, perceiving me better, lost his anxious uneasiness for my +trying a new mode of life. But the good effect has, of late, so +wholly failed, that an entire change of air and manner of living +are strongly recommended as the best chance for restoring my +shattered health. We hold it, therefore, a point of that +grateful duty we owe to your Majesty's goodness and graciousness, +to make this melancholy statement at once, rather than to stay +till absolute incapacity might disable me from offering one small +but sincere tribute of profound respect to your Majesty,--the +only one in my power--that of continuing the high honour of +attending your Majesty, till your Majesty's own choice, time, and +convenience nominate a successor." + + + THE KEEPER OF THE ROBES' CONSTERNATION. + +Mrs. Schwellenberg took the memorial, and promised me her +services, but desired to know its contents. I begged vainly to +be excused speaking them. She persisted, and I then was +compelled to own they contained my resignation. + +How aghast she looked!--how inflamed with wrath!--how + +Page 385 + + +Petrified with astonishment! It was truly a dreadful moment to +me. She expostulated on such a step, as if it led to destruction +: she offered to save me from it, as if the peace of my life +depended on averting it and she menaced me with its bad +consequences, as it life itself, removed from these walls, would +become an evil. + +I plainly recapitulated the suffering state in which I had lived +for the last three months; the difficulty with which I had waded +through even the most common fatigues of the day; the constraint +of attendance, however honourable, to an invalid; and the +impracticability of pursuing such a life, when thus enfeebled, +with the smallest chance of ever recovering the health and +strength which it had demolished. + +To all this she began a vehement eulogium on the superior +happiness and blessing of my lot, while under such a protection ; +and angrily exhorted me not to forfeit what I could never regain. + +I then frankly begged her to forbear SO painful a discussion, and +told her that the memorial was from my father as well as +myself--that I had no right or authority to hesitate in +delivering it--that the queen herself was prepared to expect it +-and that I had promised my father not to go again to Windsor +till it was presented. I entreated her, therefore, to have the +goodness to show it at once. + +This was unanswerable, and she left me with the paper in her +hand, slowly conveying it to its place of destination. + +just as she was gone, I was called to Dr. Gisburne or, rather, +without being called, I found him in my room, as I returned to +it. + +Think If my mind, now, wanted not medicine the most I told him, +however, my corporeal complaints and he ordered me opium and +three glasses of wine in the day, and recommended rest to me, and +an application to retire to my friends for some weeks, as freedom +from anxiety was as necessary to my restoration as freedom from +attendance. + + + LEAVE OF ABSENCE IS SUGGESTED. + +During this consultation I was called to Mrs. Schwellenberg. Do +you think I breathed as I went along?--No! She received me, +nevertheless, with complacency and smiles; she began a laboured +panegyric of her own friendly zeal and goodness, and then said +she had a proposal to make to me, which she con- + +Page 386 + +sidered as the most fortunate turn my affairs could take, and a,, +a proof that I should find her the best friend I had in the +world. She then premised that she had shown the paper,--that the +queen had read it, and said it was very modest, and nothing +improper. + +Her proposal was, that I should have leave of absence for six +weeks, to go about and change the air, to Chelsea, and Norbury +Park, and Capitan Phillips, and Mr. Francis, and Mr. Cambrick, +which would get me quite well; and, during that time, she would +engage Mlle. Montmoulin to perform my office. + +I was much disturbed at this; and though rejoiced and relieved to +understand that the queen had read my memorial without +displeasure, I was grieved to see it was not regarded as final. +I only replied I would communicate her plan to my father. Soon +after this we set out for Windsor. + +Here the first presenting myself before the queen was a task the +heaviest, if possible, of any. Yet I was ill enough, heaven +knows, to carry the apology of my retreat in my countenance. +However, it was a terrible effort. I could hardly enter her +room. She spoke at once, and with infinite softness, asking me +how I did after my journey ? "Not well, indeed," I simply +answered. "But better?" she cried; "are you not a little +better?" + +I only shook my head; I believe the rest of my frame shook +without my aid. + +"What! not a little?--not a little bit better?" she cried, in the +most soothing voice. + +"To-day, ma'am," I said, "I did indeed not expect to be better." +I then muttered something indistinctly enough, of the pain I had +suffered in what I had done: she opened, however, upon another +subject immediately, and no more was said upon this. But she was +kind, and sweet, and gentle, and all consideration with respect +to my attendance. + +I wrote the proposal to my poor father, I received by return of +post, the most truly tender letter he ever wrote me. He returns +thanks for the clemency With which my melancholy memorial has +been received, and is truly sensible of the high honour shown me +In the new proposition; but he sees my health so impaired, my +strength so decayed, my whole frame so nearly demolished, that he +apprehends anything short of a permanent resignation, that would +ensure lasting rest and recruit, might prove fatal. He quotes a +letter from Mr. Francis, + + +Page 387 + +containing his opinion that I must even be speedy in my retiring +or risk the utmost danger - and he finishes a letter filled with +gratitude towards the queen and affection to his daughter, with +his decisive opinion that I cannot go on, and his prayers and +blessings on my retreat. + +The term "speedy," in Mr. Francis's opinion, deterred me from +producing this letter, as it seemed indelicate and unfair to +hurry the queen, after offering her the fullest time. I +therefore waited till Mrs. Schwellenberg came to Windsor before I +made any report of my answer. + +A scene almost horrible ensued, when I told Cerbera the offer was +declined. She was too much enraged for disguise, and uttered the +most furious expressions of indignant contempt at our +proceedings. I am sure she would gladly have confined us both in +the Bastille, had England such a misery, as a fit place to bring +us to ourselves, from a daring so outrageous against imperial +wishes. + +(Fanny Burney to Dr. Burney) +January, 1791-......I thank heaven, there was much softness in +the manner of naming you this morning. I see no ill-will mixed +with the reluctance, which much consoles me. I do what is +possible to avoid all discussion; I see its danger still so +glaring. How could I resist, should the queen condescend to +desire, to ask, that I would yet try another year?--and another +year would but be uselessly demolishing me; for never could I +explain to her that a situation which unavoidably casts all my +leisure into the presence of Mrs. Schwellenberg must necessarily +be subversive of my health, because incompatible with my peace, +my ease, my freedom, my spirits, and my affections. + +The queen is probably kept from any suspicion Of the true nature +of the case, by the praises of Mrs. Schwellenberg, who, with all +her asperity and persecution, is uncommonly partial to my +society; because, in order to relieve myself from sullen gloom, +or apparent dependency, I generally make my best exertions to +appear gay and chatty; for when I can do this, she forbears both +rudeness and imperiousness. She then, I have reason to believe, +says to the queen, as I know She does to some others, "The Bernan +bin reely agribble"; and the queen, not knowing the incitement +that forces my elaborate and painful efforts, may suppose I am +lively at heart, when she hears I am so in discourse. And there +is no developing this without giving the queen the severest +embarrassment as well as chagrin. + + +Page 388 + +I would not turn Informer for the world. Mrs. Schwellenberg too, +with all her faults, is heart and soul devoted to her roil +mistress, with the truest faith and loyalty. I hold, therefore, +silence on this subject to be a sacred duty. To return to you, +my dearest padre, is the only road that has open for my return to +strength and comfort, bodily and mental. I m inexpressibly +grateful to the queen, but I burn to be delivered from Mrs. +Schwellenberg, and I pine to be again in the arms of my padre. + + + + A ROYAL GIFT TO THE MASTER OF THE HORSE. + +What will you give me, fair ladies, for a copy of verse, written +between the Queen of Great Britain and your most small little +journalist? + +The morning of the ball the queen sent for me, and said she had a +fine pair of old-fashioned gloves, white, with stiff tops and a +deep gold fringe, which she meant to send to her new master of +the horse, Lord Harcourt, who was to be at the dance, She wished +to convey them in a copy of verses, of which she had composed +three lines, but could not get on. She told me her ideas, and I +had the honour to help her in the metre and now I have the honour +to copy them from her own royal hand:-- + +"TO THE EARL OF HARCOURT. + +"Go, happy gloves, bedeck Earl Harcourt's hand, +And let him know they come from fairy-land, +Where ancient customs still retain their reign; +To modernize them all attempts were vain. +Go, cries Queen Mab, some noble owner seek, +Who has a proper taste for the antique." + +Now, no criticising, fair ladies !-the assistant was neither +allowed a pen nor a moment, but called upon to help finish, as +she might have been to hand a fan. The earl, you may suppose, +was sufficiently enchanted. + + + CONFERENCES WITH THE QUEEN. + +April.-In the course of this month I had two conferences with my +royal mistress upon my resignation, in which I spoke with all +possible openness upon its necessity. She condescended to speak +very honourably of my dear father to me,--and, in a long +discourse upon my altered health with Mrs. de + + +Page 389 + +Luc, she still further condescended to speak most graciously of +his daughter, saying in particular, these strong words, in answer +to something kind uttered by that good friend in my favour. "O, +as to character, she is what we call in German 'true as gold' +and, in point of heart, there is not, all the world over, one +better"--and added something further upon sincerity very +forcibly. This makes me very happy. + +She deigned, also, in one of these conferences, to consult with +me openly upon my successor, stating her difficulties, and making +me enumerate various requisites. It would be dangerous, she +said, to build upon meeting in England with one who would be +discreet in point of keeping off friends and acquaintances from +frequenting the palace; and she graciously implied much +commendation of my discretion, in her statement of what she +feared from a new person. + +May.-As no notice whatever was taken, all this time, of my +successor, or my retirement, after very great harass of suspense, +and sundry attempts to conquer it, I had at length again a +conference with my royal mistress. She was evidently displeased +at again being called upon, but I took the courage to openly +remind her that the birthday was her majesty's own time, and that +my father conceived it to be the period of my attendance by her +especial appointment. And this was a truth which flashed its own +conviction on her recollection. She paused, and then, +assentingly, said, "Certainly." I then added, that as, after the +birthday, their majesties went to Windsor, and the early prayers +began immediately, I must needs confess I felt myself wholly +unequal to encountering the fatigue of rising for them in my +present weakened state. She was now very gracious again, +conscious all this was fair and true. She told me her own +embarrassments concerning the successor, spoke confidentially of +her reasons for not engaging an Englishwoman, and acknowledged a +person was fixed upon, though something yet remained unarranged. +She gave me, however, to understand that all would be expedited: +and foreign letters were despatched, I know, immediately. + + +MISS BURNEY DETERMINES ON SECLUSION. + +>From Sunday, May 15 to May 22.-The trial of the poor persecuted +Mr. Hastings being now again debating and arranging for +continuance, all our house, I found, expected me now to come +forth, and my royal mistress and Mrs. Schwellenberg + +Page 390 + +thought I should find it irresistible. indeed it nearly was so, +from my anxious interest in the approaching defence; but when I +considered the rumours likely to be raised after my retreat, by +those terrifying watchers of Court transactions who inform the +public of their conjectures, I dreaded the probable assertion +that I must needs be disgusted or discontented, for health could +not be the true motive of my resignation, since I was in public +just before it took place. I feared, too, that even those who +promoted the enterprise might reproach me with my ability to do +what I wished. These considerations determined me to run no +voluntary risks - especially as I should so ill know how to parry +Mr. Windham, should he now attack me upon a subject concerning +which he merits thanks so nobly, that I am satisfied my next +interview with him must draw them forth from me. Justice, +satisfaction in his exertions, and gratitude for their spirited +willingness, all call upon me to give him that poor return. The +danger of it, however, now, is too great to be tried, if +avoidable : and I had far rather avoid seeing him, than either +gratify myself by expressing my sense of his kindness, or +unjustly withhold from him what I think of it. + +These considerations determined me upon relinquishing all public +places, and all private visits, for the present. + +The trial, however, was delayed, and the Handelian Commemoration +came on. My beloved Mr. and Mrs. Locke will have told my Susan +my difficulties in this business, and I will now tell all three +how they ended. + +The queen, unexpectedly, having given me a ticket, and enjoined +me to go the first day, that I might have longer time to recruit +against the king's birthday, I became, as you will have heard, +much distressed what course to pursue. + +I took the first moment I was alone with her majesty to express +my father's obligation to her for not suffering me to sit up on +her own birthday, in this week, and I besought her permission to +lay before her my father's motives for hitherto wishing me to +keep quiet this spring, as well as my own, adding I was sure her +majesty would benignly wish this business to be done as peaceably +and unobserved as possible. She looked extremely earnest, and +bid me proceed. + +I then briefly stated that whoever had the high honour of +belonging to their majesties were liable to comments upon all +their actions, that, if the comment was only founded in truth, we +had nothing to fear, but that, as the world was much less + + +Page 391 + +addicted to veracity, than to mischief, my father and myself had +an equal apprehension that, if I should now be seen in public so +quickly before the impending change, reports might be spread, as +soon as I went home, that it could not be for health I resigned. +She listened very attentively and graciously, and instantly, +acquiesced. + +When the trial actually recommenced, the queen grew anxious for +my going to it : she condescended to intimate that my accounts of +it were the most faithful and satisfactory she received, and to +express much Ill-will to giving them up. The motives I had +mentioned, however, were not merely personal she could not but +see any comments must involve more than myself, and therefore I +abided steadily by her first agreement to my absenting myself +from all public places, and only gently joined in her regret, +which I forcibly enough felt in this instance, Without venturing +any offer of relinquishing the prudential plan previously +arranged. She gave me tickets for Charles for every day that the +hall was opened, and I collected what I could of information from +him for her satisfaction. + + + THE HASTINGS TRIAL RESUMED: 'THE ACCUSED MAKES HIS +DEFENCE. + +Queen's House, London, June.-the opening of this month her +majesty told me that the next day Mr. Hastings was to make his +defence, and warmly added, "I would give the world you could go +to it!" + +This was an expression so unusual in animation, that I instantly +told her I would write to my father, who could not possibly, in +that case, hesitate. + +"Surely," she cried, "you may wrap up, so as not to catch cold +that once?" + +I told her majesty that, as my father had never thought going out +would be really prejudicial to my health, he had only wished to +have his motive laid fairly before her majesty, and then to leave +it to her own command. Her majesty accepted this mode of +consent, and gave me tickets for Charles and Sarah to accompany +me, and gave leave and another ticket for Mr. de Luc to be of the +party. +Thursday, June 2.-I went once more to Westminster Hall. Charles +and Sarah came not to their time, and I left directions and +tickets, and set off with only Mr. de Luc, to secure our + +Page 392 + +own, and keep places for them. The Hall was more crowded than on +any day since the trial commenced, except the first. Peers, +commoners, and counsel, peeresses, commoneresses, and the +numerous indefinites crowded every part, with a just and fair +curiosity to hear one day's defence, after seventy-three of +accusation. + +Unfortunately I sat too high up to hear the opening, and when, +afterwards, the departure of some of my obstacles removed me +lower, I was just behind some of those unfeeling enemies who have +not even the decorum due to themselves, of appearing to listen to +what is offered against their own side. I could only make out +that this great and persecuted man upon a plan all his own, and +at a risk impossible to ascertain) was formally making his own +defence, not with retaliating declamation, but by a simple, +concise, and most interesting statement of facts, and of the +necessities accompanying them in the situation to which the House +then impeaching had five times called him. He spoke with most +gentlemanly temper of his accusers, his provocation considered, +yet with a firmness of disdain of the injustice with which he had +been treated in return for his services, that was striking and +affecting, though unadorned and manly. + +His spirit, however, and the injuries which raised it, rested not +quietly upon his particular accusers: he arraigned the late +minister, Lord North, of ingratitude and double-dealing, and the +present minister, Mr. Pitt, of unjustifiably and unworthily +forbearing to Sustain him. + +Here Mr. Fox, artfully enough, interrupted to say the king's +ministers were not to be arraigned for what passed in the House +of Parliament. Mr. Burke arose also' to enter his protest. + +But Mr. Hastings then lost his patience and his temper: he would +not suffer the interruption; he had never, he said, interrupted +their long speeches; and when Mr. Burke again attempted to speak, +Mr. Hastings, in an impassioned but affecting manner, extended +his arms, and called out loudly, "I throw myself Upon the +protection of your lordships:--I am not used to public speaking, +and cannot answer them. what I wish to submit to your lordships +I have committed to paper; but, if I am punished for what I say, +I must insist upon being heard--I call upon you, my lords, to +protect me from this violence!" + +This animated appeal prevailed; the managers were silenced by an +almost universal cry of "Hear, hear, hear!" from the + + +Page 393 + +lords; and by Lord Kenyon, who represented the chancellor, and +said, "Mr. Hastings, proceed." + +The angry orators, though with a very ill grace, were then +silenced. They were little aware what a compliment this +intemperate eagerness was paying to Mr. Hastings, who for so many +long days manifested that fortitude against attack, and that +patience against abuse, which they could not muster, Without any +parallel in provocation, even for three short hours. I rejoiced +with all my heart to find Mr. Windham was not in their box. He +did not enter with them in procession, nor appear as a manager or +party concerned, further than as a member of the House of +Commons. I could not distinguish him in so large a group, and he +either saw not, or knew not, me. + +The conclusion of the defence I heard better, as Mr. Hastings +spoke considerably louder from this time; the spirit of +indignation animated his manner and gave strength to his voice. +You will have seen the chief parts of his discourse In the +newspapers and you cannot, I think, but grow more and more his +friend as you peruse it. He called pathetically and solemnly for +instant judgment; but the Lords, after an adjournment decided to +hear his defence by evidence, and order, the next sessions. How +grievous such continual delay to a man past sixty, and sighing +for such a length of time for redress from a prosecution as yet +unparalleled in our annals. + +When it was over, Colonel Manners came round to speak to -me and +talk over the defence. He is warmly for Mr. Hastings. He +inquired about Windsor; I should have made him stare a little had +I told him I never expected to see him there again. + + +MR. WINDHAM IS CONGRATULATED ON HIS SILENCE. + +When he came down-stairs into the large waiting-hall, Mr. de Luc +went in search of William and chairs. Sally then immediately +discerned Mr. Windham with some ladies. He looked at me without +at first knowing me. . . . Sarah whispered me Mr. Windham was +looking harder and harder; and presently he came up to me, and in +a tone of very deep concern, and with a look that fully concurred +with 'it, he said, "Do I see Miss Burney?" + +I could not but feel the extent of the interrogation, and my +assent acknowledged my comprehension. + +"Indeed," he cried, "I was going to make a speech--not Very +gallant!" + + +Page 394 + +, +"But it is what I should like better," I cried, " for it is kind +if you were going to say I look miserably ill, as that is but a +necessary consequence of feeling so,--and miserably ill enough I +have felt this long time past." + +He would not allow quite that, he said; but I flew from the +subject, to tell him I had been made very happy by him. HE gave +me one of his starts,--but immediately concluded it was by no +good, and therefore would not speak in inquiry. + +"Why, I did not see you in the box," I cried, "and I had been +very much afraid I should have seen you there. But now my fears +are completely over, and you have made me completely happy!" + +He protested, with a comic but reproachful smile, he knew not how +to be glad, if it was still only in the support of a bad cause, +and if still I really supported it. And then he added he had +gone amongst the House of Commons instead of joining the +managers, because that enabled him to give his place to a friend, +who was not a member. + +"You must be sure," said I, "you would see me here to-day." + +I had always threatened him with giving fairest play to the +defence, and always owned I had been most afraid Of his harangue; +therefore to find the charges end without his making it saved me +certainly a shake,--either for Mr. Hastings or himself,--for one +of them must thenceforth have fallen in my estimation. I +believe, however, this was a rather delicate point, as he made me +no answer, but a grave smile; but I am sure he instantly +understood his relinquishing his intended charge was my subject +of exultation. And, to make it plainer, I then added, "I am +really very generous to be thus made happy, considering how great +has been my curiosity." + +"But, to have gratified that curiosity," cried he, "would have +been no very particular inducement with me; though I have no +right to take it for a compliment, as there are two species of +curiosity,--yours, therefore, you leave wholly ambiguous." + +"O, I am content with that," cried I so long as I am gratified, I +give you leave to take it which way you please." + +He murmured something I could not distinctly hear, of concern at +my continued opinion upon this subject; but I do not think, by +his manner, it much surprised him. + +"You know," cried I, "why, as well as what, I feared--that fatal +candour, of which so long ago you warned me to beware. + + +Page 395 + +to the very last moment And, indeed, I was kept n alarm +for at every figure I saw start up, just now,--Mr. Fox, Mr. +Burke, Mr. Grey,--I concluded yours would be the next." + +"You were prepared, then," cried he, with no little malice, "for +a voice issuing from a distant pew."(340) + + + Miss BURNEY MAKES HER REPORT. + +When we came home I was immediately summoned to her majesty, to +whom I gave a full and fair account of all I had heard of the +defence; and it drew tears from her expressive eyes as I repeated +Mr. Hastings's own words, upon the hardship and injustice of the +treatment he had sustained. + +Afterwards, at night, the king called upon me to repeat my +account and I was equally faithful, sparing nothing of what had +dropped from the persecuted defendant relative to his majesty's +ministers. I thought official accounts might be less detailed +there than against the managers, who, as open enemies, excite not +so much my "high displeasure" as the friends of government, who +so insidiously elected and panegyrised him while they wanted his +assistance, and betrayed and deserted him when he was no longer +in a capacity to serve them. Such, at least, is the light in +which the defence places them. + +The king listened with much earnestness and a marked compassion. +He had already read the account sent him officially, but he was +as eager to hear all I could recollect, as if still uninformed of +what had passed. The words may be given to the eye, but the +impression they make can only be conveyed by the ear; and I came +back so eagerly interested, that my memory was not more stored +with the very words than my voice with the intonations of all +that had passed. + +With regard to My bearing this sole unofficial exertion since my +illness, I can only say the fatigue I felt bore not any parallel +with that of every Drawing--room day, because I was seated. + + +PRINCE WILLIAM INSISTS ON THE KING'S HEALTH BEING DRUNK. + +June 4.-Let me now come to the 4th, the last birthday of the +good, gracious, benevolent king I shall ever, in all human +probability, pass under his royal roof. + +Page 396 + +The thought was affecting to me, in defiance of MY volunteer +conduct, and I could scarce speak to the queen when I first went +to her, and wished to say something upon a day So interesting. +The king was most gracious and kind when he came into the state +dressing-room at St. James's, and particularly inquired about my +health and strength, and if they would befriend me for the day. +I longed again to tell him how hard I would work them, rather +than let them, on such a day, drive me from my office; but I +found it better suited me to be quiet; It was safer not to trust +to any expression of loyalty, with a mind so full, and on a day +so critical. + +At dinner Mrs. Schwellenberg presided, attired magnificently. +Miss Goldsworthy, Mrs. Stainforth, Messrs. de Luc and Stanhope +dined with us; and, while we were still eating fruit, the Duke of +Clarence entered. He was just risen from the king's table, and +waiting for his equipage to go home and prepare for the ball. To +give you an idea of the energy of his royal highness's language, +I ought to set apart a "general objection to writing, or rather +intimating, certain forcible words, and beg leave to show you, in +genuine colours, a royal sailor. + +We all rose, of course, upon his entrance, and the two gentlemen +placed themselves behind their chairs while the footmen left the +room ; but he ordered us all to sit down, and called the men back +to hand about some wine. He was in exceeding high spirits and in +the utmost good humour. He placed himself at the head of the +table, next Mrs. Schwellenberg, and looked remarkably well, gay, +and full of sport and mischief, yet clever withal as well as +comical. + +"Well, this is the first day I have ever dined with the king at +St. James's on his birthday. Pray, have you all drunk his +majesty's health?" + +"No, your roy'l highness: your roy'l highness might make dem do +dat," said Mrs. Schwellenberg. + +"O, by --- will I! Here, you (to the footman), bring champagne! +I'll drink the king's health again, if I die for it Yet, I have +done pretty well already: so has the king, I promise you! I +believe his majesty was never taken such good care of before. We +have kept his spirits up, I promise you: we have enabled him to +go through his fatigues; and I should have done more still, but +for the ball and Mary--I have promised to dance with Mary!" + +Princess Mary made her first appearance at Court to-day +She looked most interesting and unaffectedly lovely - she is a + + +Page 397, + +Sweet creature, and perhaps, in point of beauty, the first of +this truly beautiful race, of which Princess Mary may be called +pendant to the Prince of Wales. + +Champagne being now brought for the duke, he ordered it all +round. When it came to me I whispered to Westerhaults to carry +it on: the duke slapped his hand violently on the table, and +called out, "O, by ----, you shall drink it!" + +There was no resisting this. We all stood up, and the duke +sonorously gave the royal toast. "And now," cried he, making us +all sit down again, "where are my rascals of servants? I sha'n't +be in time for the ball; besides, I've got a deuced tailor +waiting to fix on my epaulette! Here, you, go and see for my +servants! d'ye hear? Scamper off!" + +Off ran William. + +"Come, let's have the king's health again. De Luc, drink it. +Here, champagne to De Luc!" + +I wish you could have seen Mr. de Luc's mixed simper half +pleased, half alarmed. However, the wine came and he drank it, +the duke taking a bumper for himself at the same time." + +Poor Stanhope!" cried he; "Stanhope shall have a glass too. +Here, champagne! what are you all about? Why don't YOU give +champagne to poor Stanhope?" + +Mr. Stanhope, with great pleasure, complied, and the + duke again accompanied him. + +"Come hither, do you hear?" cried the duke to the servants; and +on the approach, slow and submissive, of Mrs. +Stainforth's man, he hit him a violent slap on the back, calling +out, "Hang you! why don't you see for my rascals?" + +Away flew the man, and then he called out to Westerhaults, +"Hark'ee! bring another glass of champagne to Mr. de Luc!" + +Mr. de Luc knows these royal youths too well to venture at so +vain an experiment as disputing with them, so he only shrugged +his shoulders and drank the wine. The duke did the same. + +"And now, poor Stanhope," cried the duke, "give +another glass to poor Stanhope, d'ye hear?" + +"Is not your royal highness afraid," cried Mr. Stanhope, +displaying the full circle of his borrowed teeth, "I shall be apt +to be rather up in the world, as the folks say, if I tope on at +this rate?" + + +"Not at all! you can't get drunk in a better cause, +I'd get + + +Page 398 + +drunk myself' if it was not for the ball. Here, champagne! +another glass for the philosopher! I keep sober for Mary." + +"O, your royal highness cried Mr. de Luc, gaining courage as he +drank, "you will make me quite droll Of it if you make me go +on,--quite droll!" + +"So much the better! so much the better! it will do you a +monstrous deal of good. Here, another glass of- champagne for +the queen's philosopher!" + +Mr. de Luc obeyed, and the duke then addressed Mrs. +Schwellenberg's George. "Here! you! you! why, where is my +carriage? run and see, do you hear?" + +Off hurried George, grinning irrepressibly. + +"If it was not for that deuced tailor, I would not stir. I shall +dine at the Queen's house on Monday, Miss Goldsworthy; I shall +come to dine with the princess royal. I find she does not go to +Windsor with the queen." + +The queen meant to spend one day at Windsor, on account of a +review which carried the king that way. + +Some talk then ensued upon the duke's new carriage, which they +all agreed to be the most beautiful that day, at court. I had +not seen it, which, to me, was some impediment against praising +it. + + + THE QUEEN's HEALTH. + +He then said it was necessary to drink the queens health. The +gentlemen here made no demur, though Mr. de Luc arched his +eyebrows in expressive fear of consequences. + +"A bumper," cried the duke, "to the queen's gentleman-usher." + +They all stood up and drank the queen's health. + +"Here are three of us," cried the duke, "all belonging to the +queen: the queen's philosopher, the queen's gentlemanusher, and +the queen's son; but, thank heaven, I'm the nearest!" + +"Sir," cried Mr. Stanhope, a little affronted, "I am not now the +queen's gentleman-usher; I am the queen's equerry, sir." + +"A glass more of champagne here! What are you all so slow for? +Where are all my rascals gone? They've put me in one passion +already this morning. Come, a glass of champagne for the queen's +gentleman-usher!" laughing heartily. + +"No, sir," repeated Mr. Stanhope; "I am equerry, sir." + +"And another glass to the queen's philosopher!" + +Neither gentleman objected; but Mrs. Schwellenberg, who + + +Page 399 +had sat laughing and happy all this time, now grew alarmed, and +said, "Your royal highness, I am afraid for the ball!" + +"Hold your potato-jaw, my dear," cried the duke, patting her - +but, recollecting himself, he took her hand and pretty abruptly +kissed it, and then, flinging it away hastily, laughed aloud, and +called out, "There, that will make amends for anything, so now I +may say what I will. So here! a glass of champagne for the +queen's philosopher and the queen's gentleman-usher! Hang me if +it will not do them a monstrous deal of good!" + +Here news was brought that the equipage was in order. He started +up, calling out, "Now, then, for my deuced tailor." + +"O, your royal highness," cried Mr. de Luc, in a tone of +expostulation, "now you have made us droll, you go!" + +Off! however, he went. And is it not a curious scene? All my +amaze is, how any of their heads bore such libations. + + + THE PROCESSION TO THE BALL-ROOM: + ABSENCE OF THE PRINCES. + +In the evening I had by no means strength to encounter the +ball-room. I gave my tickets to Mrs. and Miss Douglas. Mrs. +Stainforth was dying to see the Princess Mary in her Court dress. +Mr. Stanhope offered to conduct her to a place of prospect. She +went with him. I thought this preferable to an unbroken evening +with my fair companion, and Mr. de Luc, thinking the same, we +both left Mrs. Schwellenberg to unattire, and followed. But we +were rather in a scrape by trusting to Mr. Stanhope after all +this champagne: he had carried Mrs. Stainforth to the very door +of the ball-room, and there fixed her--in a place which the king, +queen, and suite must brush past in order to enter the ball-room. +I had followed, however, and the crowds of beef-eaters, officers, +and guards that lined all the state-rooms through which we +exhibited ourselves, prevented my retreating alone. I stood, +therefore, next to Mrs. Stainforth, and saw the ceremony. + +The passage was made so narrow by attendants, that they were all +forced to go one by one. First, all the king's great +state-officers, amongst whom I recognised Lord Courtown, a +treasurer of the household; Lord Salisbury carried a candle!-- +'tis an odd etiquette.--These being passed, came the king--he saw +us and laughed; then the queen's master of the horse, Lord +Harcourt, who did ditto; then some more. + + +Page 400 + +The vice-chamberlain carries the queen's candle, that she may +have the arm of the lord chamberlain to lean on; accordingly, +Lord Aylesbury, receiving that honour, now preceded the queen: +she looked amazed at sight of us. The kind princesses one by one +acknowledged us. I spoke to sweet Princess Mary, wishing her +royal highness joy: she looked in a delight and an alarm nearly +equal. She was to dance her first minuet. Then followed the +ladies of the bedchamber, and Lady Harcourt was particularly +civil. Then the maids of honour, every one of whom knew and +spoke to us. I peered vainly for the Duke of Clarence, but none +of the princes passed us.(341) What a crowd brought up the rear! +I was vexed not to see the Prince of Wales. + +Well, God bless the king! and many and many such days may he +know! + +I was now so tired as to be eager to go back; but the queen's +philosopher, the good and most sober and temperate of men, was +really a little giddy with all his bumpers, and his eyes, which +were quite lustrous, could not fix any object steadily; while the +poor gentleman-usher--equerry, I mean--kept his Mouth so wide +open with one continued grin,-I suppose from the sparkling +beverage,--that I was every minute afraid its pearly ornaments, +which never fit their case, would have fallen at our feet. Mrs. +Stainforth gave me a significant look of making the same +observation, and, catching me fast by the arm, said, "Come, Miss +Burney, let's you and I take care of one another"; and then she +safely toddled me back to Mrs. Schwellenberg, who greeted us with +saying, "Vell! bin you Much amused? Dat Prince Villiam--oders de +Duke de Clarrence--bin raelly ver merry--oders vat you call +tipsy!" + + + BOSWELL's LIFE OF JOHNSON. + +Mr, Turbulent had been reading, like all the rest of the world, +Boswell's "Life of Dr. Johnson," and the preference there +expressed of Mrs. Lenox to all other females had filled + +Page 401 + +him with astonishment, as he had never even heard her name.(342) + +These occasional sallies of Dr. Johnson, uttered from local +causes and circumstances, but all retailed verbatim by Mr. +Boswell, are filling all sort of readers with amaze, except the +small part to whom Dr. Johnson was known, and who, by +acquaintance with the power of the moment over his unguarded +conversation, know how little of his solid opinion was- to be +gathered from his accidental assertions. + +The king, who was now also reading this work, applied to me for +explanations without end. Every night at his period he entered +the queen's dressing-room, and detained her majesty's proceedings +by a length of discourse with me upon this subject. All that +flowed from himself was constantly full of the goodness and +benevolence of his character - and I was never so happy as in the +opportunity thus graciously given me of vindicating, in instances +almost innumerable, the serious principles and various +excellences of my revered Dr. Johnson from the clouds so +frequently involving and darkening them, in narrations so little +calculated for any readers who were strangers to his intrinsic +worth, and therefore worked upon and struck by what was faulty in +his temper and manners. + +I regretted not having strength to read this work to her majesty +myself. It was an honour I should else have certainly received +_; for so much wanted clearing! so little was understood! +However, the queen frequently condescended to read over passages +and anecdotes which perplexed or offended her; and there were +none I had not a fair power to soften or to justify. + + + THE CLOSE OF MISS BURNEY'S COURT DUTIES. + +Her majesty, the day before we left Windsor, gave me to +understand my attendance Would be yet one more fortnight + +Page 402 + +requisite, though no longer. I heard this with a fearful +presentiment I should surely never go through another fortnight +in so weak and languishing and painful a state of health. +However, I could but accede, though I fear with no very Courtly +grace. So melancholy indeed was the state of my mind, from the +weakness of my frame, that I was never alone but to form scenes +of "foreign woe," where my own disturbance did not occupy me +wholly. I began--almost whether I would or not--another tragedy! +The other three all unfinished! not one read! and one of them, +indeed, only generally sketched as to plan and character. But I +could go on With nothing; I could only suggest and invent. + +The power of composition has to me indeed proved a +blessing! When incapable of all else, that, unsolicited, +unthought of, has presented itself to my solitary leisure, and +beguiled me of myself, though it has not of late regaled me with +gayer associates. + +July.-I come now to write the last week of my royal residence. +The queen honoured me with the most uniform graciousness, and +though, as the time of separation approached, her cordiality +rather diminished, and traces of internal displeasure appeared +sometimes, arising from an opinion I ought rather to have +struggled on, live or die, than to quit her, yet I am sure she +saw how poor was my own chance, except by a change in the mode of +life, and at least ceased to wonder, though she could not +approve. + +The king was more Courteous, more communicative, more amiable, at +very meeting: and he condescended to hold me in conversation with +him by every opportunity, and with an air of such benevolence and +goodness, that I never felt such ease and pleasure in his notice +before. He talked over all Mr. Boswell's book, and I related to +him sundry anecdotes of Dr. Johnson, all highly to his honour, +and such as I was eager to make known, He always heard me with +the utmost complacency and encouraged me to proceed in my +accounts by every mark of attention and interest. + +He told me once, laughing heartily, that, having seen my name in +the index, he was eager to come to what was said of me, but which +he found so little, he was surprised and disappointed. + +I ventured to assure him how much I had myself been rejoiced at +this very circumstance, and with what satisfaction had reflected +upon having very seldom met Mr. Boswell, as + +I + +Page 403 + +new there was no other security against all manner of risks in +his relations. + +About this time Mr. Turbulent made me a visit at tea-time when +the gentlemen were at the Castle and the moment William left the +room he eagerly said, "Is this true, Miss Burney, that I hear? +Are we going to lose you?" + +I was much surprised, but Could not deny the charge. He, very +good-naturedly, declared himself much pleased at a release which +he protested he thought necessary to my life's preservation. I +made him tell me the channel through which a business I had +guarded SO scrupulously Myself had reached him; but it Is too +full of windings for writing. + + With Mr. de Luc I was already in confidence upon my resignation, +and with the knowledge of the queen, as he had received the +intelligence from Germany, whence my successor was now arriving. +I then also begged the indulgence of writing to Mr. Smelt upon +the subject, which was accorded me. + +My next attack was from Miss Planta. She expressed herself in +the deepest concern at my retiring, though she not only +acknowledged its necessity, but confessed she had not thought I +could have performed my official duty even one year! She broke +from me while we talked, leaving me abruptly in a violent passion +of tears. + + + MISS BURNEY'S SUCCESSOR. +A PENSION FROM THE QUEEN. + +I had soon the pleasure to receive Mlle. jacobi.(343) She +brought with her a young German, as her maid, who proved to be +her niece, but so poor she could not live when her aunt left +Germany! Mr. Best, a messenger of the king's, brought her to +Windsor, and Mrs. Best, his wife, accompanied him. + +I was extremely pleased with Mlle. Jacobi, who is tall, well +made, and nearly handsome, and of a humour so gay, an +understanding so lively, and manners so frank and ingenuous, that +I felt an immediate regard for her, and we grew mutual good +friends. She is the daughter of a dignified clergyman of +Hanover, high in theological fame. + +They all dined with me, - and, indeed, Mlle. Jacobi, wanting a +thousand informations in her new situation, which I was most +happy to give her, seldom quitted me an instant. + +Tuesday morning I had a conversation, very long and very +affecting to me, with her majesty. I cannot pretend to detail + + +Page 404 + +it. I will only tell you she began by speaking of Mlle. Jacobi, +whom I had the satisfaction to praise, as far as had appeared, +very warmly and then she led me to talk at large upon the nature +and requisites and circumstances of the situation I was leaving. +I said whatever I could suggest that would tend to render my +Successor more comfortable, and had the great happiness to +represent with success the consolation and very innocent pleasure +she might reap from the society of the young relation she had +brought over, if she might be permitted to treat her at once as a +companion, and not as a servant. This was heard with the most +humane complacency, and I had leave given me to forward the plan +in various ways. She then conversed upon sundry Subjects, all of +them confidential in their nature, for near an hour; and then, +after a pause, said, "Do I owe you anything, my dear Miss +Burney?" + +I acquainted her with a debt or two amounting to near seventy +pounds. She said she would settle it in the afternoon, and then +paused again, after which, with a look full of benignity, she +very expressively said, "As I don't know your plan, or what you +propose, I cannot tell what Would make you comfortable, but you +know the size of my family." + +I comprehended her, and was immediately interrupting her with +assurances of my freedom from all expectation or claim; but she +stopped me, saying, "You know what you now have from me:--the +half of that I mean to continue." + +Amazed and almost overpowered by a munificence I had so little +expected or thought of, I poured forth the most earnest +disclaimings of such a mark of her graciousness, declaring I knew +too well her innumerable calls to be easy in receiving it and +much more I uttered to this purpose, with the unaffected warmth +that animated me at the moment. She heard me almost silently; +but, in conclusion, Simply, yet strongly, said, "I shall +certainly do that" with a stress on the that that seemed to +kindly mean she would rather have done more. + +The conference was in this stage when the Princess Elizabeth came +into the room. The queen then retired to the antechamber. My +eyes being full, and my heart not very empty, I could not then +forbear saying to her royal highness how much the goodness of the +queen had penetrated me. The sweet princess spoke feelings I +could not expect, by the immediate glistening of her soft eyes. +She condescended to express her concern At my retiring; but most +kindly added, "However, + +Page 405 + +Miss Burney, go when you will, that you have this to comfort you, +your behaviour has been most perfectly honourable." + + + + LEAVE-TAKINGS. + +This, my last day at Windsor, was filled with nothing but +packing, leave-taking, bills-paying, and lessoning to Mlle. +Jacobi, who adhered to my side through everything, and always +with an interest that made its own way for her. All the people I +had to Settle With poured forth for my better health good wishes +without end; but amongst the most unwilling for my retreat stood +poor Mrs. Astley.(344) Indeed she quite saddened me by her +sadness, and by the recollections of that sweet and angelic being +her mistress, who had so solaced my early days at that place. + +Mr. Bryant, too, came this same morning; he had an audience of +the queen: he knew nothing previously of my design. He seemed +thunderstruck. "Bless me!" he cried, in his short and simple but +expressive manner, "so I shall never see you again, never have +the honour to dine in that apartment with you more!" etc. I +would have kept him to dinner this last day, but he was not well, +and would not be persuaded. He would not, however, bid me adieu, +but promised to endeavour to see me some time at Chelsea. + +I had then a little note from Miss Gomme, desiring to see me in +the garden. She had just gathered the news. I do not believe +any one Was more disposed to be sorry, if the Sight and sense of +my illness had not checked her concern. She highly approved the +step I was taking, and was most cordial and kind. Miss Planta +came to tell me she must decline dining with me, as she felt she +should cry all dinner-time, in reflecting upon its being our last +meal together at Windsor, and this might affront Mlle. Jacobi. + +The queen deigned to come once more to my apartment this +afternoon. She brought me the debt. It was a most mixed feeling +with which I now saw her. + +In the evening came Madame de la Fite, I need not tell you, I +imagine, that her expressions were of "la plus vife douleur,"; +yet she owned she could not wonder my father should try what +another life would do for me. My dear Mrs. de Luc came next; +She, alone, knew of this while impending. She rejoiced the time +of deliverance was arrived, for she had + + +Page 406 + +often feared I should outstay my strength, and sink while the +matter was arranging. She rejoiced, however, with tears in her +kind eyes; and, indeed, I took leave of her With true regret. + +It was nine o'clock before I could manage to go down the garden +to the lower Lodge, to pay my duty to the younger princesses, +whom I Could not else see at all, as they never go to town for +the Court-days. I went first up-stairs to Gomme, and had the +mortification to learn that the sweet Princess Amelia was already +gone to bed. This extremely grieved me. When or how I may see +her lovely little highness more, Heaven only knows! Miss Gomme +kindly accompanied me to Miss Goldsworthy's apartment, and +promised me a few more words before I set out the next morning. + +I found Mrs. Cheveley, at whose door, and at Miss Neven, her +sister's, I had tapped and left my name, with Miss Goldsworthy +and Dr. Fisher: that pleasing and worthy man has just taken a +doctor's degree. I waited with Miss Goldsworthy till the +princesses Mary and Sophia came from the upper Lodge, which is +when the king and queen go to supper. Their royal highnesses, +were gracious even to kindness; they shook my hand again and +again, and wished me better health, and all happiness, with the +sweetest earnestness. Princess Mary repeatedly desired to see me +whenever I came to the Queen's house, and condescended to make me +as repeatedly promise that I would not fail. I was deeply +touched by their goodness, and by leaving them. + +Wednesday.-In the morning Mrs. Evans, the housekeeper, came to +take leave of me; and the housemaid of my apartment, who, poor +girl, cried bitterly that I was going to give place to a +foreigner, for Mrs. Schwellenberg's severity with servants has +made all Germans feared in the house. + +O, but let me first mention that, when I came from the lower +Lodge, late as it was, I determined to see my old friends the +equerries, and not quit the place without bidding them adieu. I +had never seen them since I had dared mention my designed +retreat. I told William, therefore, to watch their return from +the castle, and to give my compliments to either Colonel Gwynn or +Colonel Goldsworthy, and an invitation to my apartment. + +Colonel Goldsworthy came instantly. I told him I could not think +of leaving Windsor without offering first my good + +Page 407 + +wishes to all the household. He said that, when my intended +departure had been published, he and all the gentlemen then with +him had declared it ought to have taken place six months ago. He +was extremely courteous, and I begged him to bring to me, the +rest of his companions that were known to me. + +He immediately fetched Colonel Gwynn, General Grenville, Colonel +Ramsden, and Colonel Manners. This was the then party. I told +him I sent to beg their blessing upon my departure. They were +all much pleased, apparently, that I had not made my exit without +seeing them: they all agreed on the Urgency of the measure, and +we exchanged good wishes most cordially. + +My Wednesday morning's attendance upon the queen was a melancholy +office. Miss Goldsworthy as well as Miss Gomme came early to +take another farewell. I had not time to make any visits in the +town, but left commissions with Mrs. de Luc and Madame de la +Fite. Even Lady Charlotte Finch I could not Call upon, though +she had made me many kind visits since my illness. I wrote to +her, however, by Miss Gomme, to thank her, and bid her adieu. + + + FAREWELL TO KEW. + +Thursday, July 7.-This, my last day of office, was big and busy,- +-joyful, yet affecting to me in a high degree. + +In the morning, before I left Kew, I had my last interview with +Mrs. Schwellenberg. She was very kind in it, desiring to see me +whenever I could in town, during her residence at the Queen's +house, and to hear from me by letter meanwhile. She then much +Surprised me by an offer of succeeding to her own place,--when it +was vacated either by her retiring or her death. This was, +indeed, a mark of favour and confidence I had not expected. I +declined, however, to enter upon the subject, as the manner in +which she opened it made it very solemn, and, to her, very +affecting. She would take no leave of me, but wished me better +hastily, and saying we should soon meet, she hurried suddenly out +of the room. Poor woman! If her temper were not so irascible, I +really believe her heart would be by no means wanting in +kindness. + +I then took leave of Mrs. Sandys, giving her a token of +remembrance in return for her constant good behaviour, and + +Page 408 +she showed marks of regard, and of even grief, I was sorry to +receive, as I could so little return. + +But the tragedy of tragedies was parting with Goter;(345) that +poor girl did nothing but cry incessantly from the time she knew +of our separation. I was very sorry to have no place to +recommend her to, though I believe she may rather benefit by a +vacation that carries her to her excellent father and Mother, who +teach her nothing but good. I did what I could to soften the +blow, by every exertion in my power in all ways; for it was +impossible to be unmoved at her violence of sorrow. + +I then took leave of Kew Palace--the same party again +accompanying me, for the last time, in a royal vehicle going by +the name of Miss Burney's coach. + + + THE FINAL PARTING. + +I come now near the close of my Court career. + +At St. James's all was graciousness; and my royal mistress gave +me to understand she would have me stay to assist at her toilet +after the Drawing-room; and much delighted me by desiring my +attendance on the Thursday fortnight, when she came again to +town. This lightened the parting in the pleasantest manner +possible. When the queen commanded me to follow her to her +closet I was, indeed, in much emotion; but I told her that, as +what had passed from Mrs. Schwellenberg in the morning had given +me to understand her majesty was fixed in her munificent +intention, notwithstanding- what I had most unaffectedly urged +against it-- + +"Certainly," she interrupted, "I shall certainly do it." + +"Yet so little," I continued, "had I thought it right to dwell +upon such an expectation, that, in the belief your majesty would +yet take it into further consideration, I had not even written It +to my father." + +"Your father," she again interrupted me, "has nothing to do with +it; it is solely from me to you." + +"Let me then humbly entreat," I cried, "still in some measure to +be considered as a servant of your majesty, either as reader, or +to assist occasionally if Mlle. Jacobi should be ill." + +She looked most graciously pleased, and Immediately closed in +with the proposal, saying, "When your health is restored,-- +perhaps sometimes." + +Page 409 + +I then fervently poured forth my thanks for all her goodness, and +my prayers for her felicity. + +She had her handkerchief in her hand or at her eyes the whole +time. I was so much moved by her condescending kindness, that as +soon as I got out of the closet I nearly sobbed. I went to help +Mlle. Jacobi to put up the jewels, that my emotion might the less +be observed. The king then came into the room. He immediately +advanced to the window, where I stood, to speak to me. I was not +then able to comport myself steadily. I was forced to turn my +head away from him. He stood still and silent for some minutes, +waiting to see if I should turn about; but I could not recover +myself sufficiently to face him, strange as it was to do +otherwise; and Perceiving me quite overcome he walked away, and I +saw him no more. His kindness, his goodness, his benignity, +never shall I forget--never think of but with fresh gratitude and +reverential affection. + +They were now all going--I took, for the last time, the cloak of +the queen, and, putting It over her shoulders, slightly ventured +to press them, earnestly, though in a low voice, saying, "God +Almighty bless your majesty!" + +She turned round, and, putting her hand upon my ungloved arm, +pressed it with the greatest kindness, and said, "May you be +happy!" + +She left me overwhelmed with tender gratitude. + +The three eldest princesses were in the next room: they ran in to +me the moment the queen went onward. Princess Augusta and +Princess Elizabeth each took a hand, and the princess royal put +hers over them. I could speak to none of them; but they +repeated, "I wish you happy!--I wish you health!" again and +again, with the Sweetest eagerness. + +They then set off for Kew. + +Here, therefore, end my Court annals; after having lived in the +service of her majesty five years within ten days--from July 17, +1786, to July 7, 1791. + +(333) By her "Visions" Fanny apparently means her desire of +resigning her place at Court, and her hope of her father's +concurrence.-ED. + +(334) i.e., Attempts to induce him to procure for sundry +strangers some acquaintance with his daughter.-ED. + +(335) The Comtesse de Bouflers-Rouvrel and, probably, her +daughter-in-law, the Comtesse Amélie de Bouflers. Madame de +Bouflers-Rouvrel was distinguished in Parisian society as a +bel-esbrit, and corresponded for many years with Rousseau. Left +a widow in 1764, she became the mistress of the Prince de Conti. +Her first visit to England was in 1763, when she was taken by +Topham Beauclerk to see Dr. Johnson. She revisited this country +at the time of the emigration, but returning to France, was +imprisoned by the Revolutionists. The fall of Robespierre (July, +1794) restored her to liberty. Am6lie de Bouflers, less +fortunate than her mother-in-law, perished by the guillotine, +June 27, 1794.-ED. + +(336) But is it possible, sir, that your daughter has no +holidays? + + +(337) Burke's speech, delivered February 9, in a debate on the +army estimates, in which he took occasion to denounce, with great +vehemence, the principles and conduct of the French Revolution, +which he contrasted, much to its disadvantage, with the English +Revolution of 1688. "The French," he said, "had shown themselves +the ablest architects of ruin that had hitherto appeared in the +world." The sentiments uttered by Burke on this occasion +delighted the ministerialists and friends of the Court as much as +they dismayed his own party. As the debate proceeded he found +himself in the strange position of a chief of opposition enduring +the compliments of the prime minister and the attacks of Fox and +Sheridan, who took a broader and juster view of the great events +in France, though condemning equally with Burke the Excesses of +the Revolutionists. Fox declared His grief at hearing, "from the +lips of a man whom he loved and revered," Sentiments "so hostile +to the general principles of liberty." This speech of Burke's may +be said to mark the commencement of that disagreement between +himself and Fox, which culminated in the total breach of their +friendship.-ED. + +(338) Dr. Burney was a member of this famous club, having been +elected in 1784. Mr. Windham had been a member since 1778.-ED. + +(339) "Reflections on the Revolution in France," published +November 1, 1790. it was received by the public with avidity, +and went through eleven editions within a year-ED. + +(340) An allusion to the imperious interruption of the marriage +of Cecilia, and young Delvile. See "Cecilia," book vii., ch. +7.-ED. + +(341) Some weeks later Fanny has the following allusion to the +ball: "The Princess Mary chatted with me over her own adventures +on the queen's birthday, when she first appeared at Court. The +history of her dancing at the ball, and the situation of her +partner and brother, the Duke of Clarence, she spoke of with a +sweet ingenuousness and artless openness which makes her very +amiable character. And not a little did I divert her when I +related the duke's visit to our party! 'O,' cried she, 'he told +me of it himself the next morning, and said, "You may think how +far I was gone, for I kissed the Schwellenberg's hand!"'"-ED. + +(342) "On the evening of Saturday May 15 [1784), he [Dr. Johnson] +was in fine spirits at our Essex Head Club. He told us, 'I dined +yesterday at Patrick's with Mrs. Carter, Miss Hannah More, and +Fanny Burney. Three such women are not to be found: I know not +where I could find a fourth, except Mrs. Lennox, who is superior +to them all.' " (Boswell.) This "occasional sally" cannot, of +course, be taken as expressing Johnson's deliberate opinion of +the relative merits of Fanny Burney and Mrs. Lenox. He was an +old friend of Charlotte Lenox, and had written in 1752 the +dedication for her "Female Quixote," a novel of singular charm +and humour, though scarcely to be placed on a par with "Evelina" +or "Cecilia."-ED. + +(343) Fanny's successor in office.-ED. + +344) The old servant of Mrs. Delany.-ED. + +(345) Fanny's maid.-ED. + + + + +Page 410 ' + + SECTION 18. + (1791-2.) + + + REGAINED LIBERTY. + + +[Fanny's rambling journey to the west with Mrs. Ord was a +pleasant restorative, to mind and body, and bore good fruit +hereafter in the pages, of " The Wanderer." At Bath, in the +course of this journey, she formed an acquaintance equally +interesting and unlooked-for. It was certainly singular, to use +her own words, "that the first visit I should make after leaving +the queen should be to meet the head of the opposition public, +the Duchess of Devonshire!" The famous Whig duchess was then in +her thirty-fifth year. Fanny's description of her personal +charms tallies exactly with the impression which we derive from +her portraits by Reynolds and Gainsborough: that their celebrity +was due rather to expressiveness and animation than to a +countenance regularly beautiful. But the charming duchess, +like most other people, had a skeleton in her closet. +Notwithstanding her high spirits, and "native. cheerfulness," +"she appeared to me not happy," writes our penetrating Diarist. +What was the skeleton? Not gambling debts, although the duchess +followed the fashion of the day, and Sheridan declared that he +had handed her into her carriage when she was literally sobbing +at her losses. Fanny gives us a hint, slight but unmistakeable. +At their first meeting the duchess was accompanied by another +lady--a beautiful, alluring woman, with keen dark eyes, who +smiled, some one said, "like Circe." Lady Spencer introduced her +daughter to Miss Burney with warm pleasure, and then, "slightly +and as if unavoidably," named the beautiful enchantress--Lady +Elizabeth Foster. It is only necessary to add that in 1809, some +three years after the death of his first wife, the Duchess +Georgiana, the Duke of Devonshire married again, and his second +wife was Lady Elizabeth Foster.-ED.] + + +Page 411 + + RELEASED FROM DUTY. + +Chelsea College, July.-My dear father was waiting for me in my +apartment at St. James's when their majesties and their fair +royal daughters were gone. He brought me home, and welcomed me +most sweetly. My heart was a little sad, in spite of its +contentment. My joy in quitting my place extended not to +quitting the king and queen; and the final marks of their benign +favour had deeply impressed me. My mother received me according +to my wishes, and Sarah Most cordially. + +My dear James and Charles speedily came to see me; and one +precious half-day I was indulged with my kind Mr. Locke and his +Fredy. If i had been stouter and stronger in health, I should +then have been almost flightily happy; but the Weakness of the +frame still kept the rest in order. My ever-kind Miss Cambridge +was also amongst the foremost to hasten with congratulations on +my return to my old ways and to make me promise to visit +Twickenham after my projected tour with Mrs. Ord. + +I could myself undertake no visiting at this time; rest and quiet +being quite essential to my recovery. But my father did the +honours for me amongst those who had been most interested in my +resignation. He called instantly upon Sir Joshua Reynolds and +Miss Palmer, and Mr. Burke; and he wrote to Mr. Walpole, Mr. +Seward, Mrs. Crewe, Mr. Windham, and my Worcester uncle. Mr. +Walpole wrote the most charming of answers, In the gallantry of +the old Court, and with all its wit, concluding with a warm +invitation to Strawberry Hill. Sir Joshua and Miss Palmer Sent me +every species of kind exultation. Mr. Burke was not in town. +Mr. Seward wrote very heartily and cordially, and came also when +my Susanna was here. Mrs. Crewe immediately pressed me to come +and recruit at Crewe Hall in Cheshire, where she promised me +repose, and good air, and good society. + + + A WESTERN JOURNEY: FARNHAM CASTLE. + +Sidmouth, Devonshire, Monday, Aug. 1.-I have now been a week out +upon my travels, but have not had the means or the time, till +this moment, to attempt their brief recital. + +Page 412 + +Mrs. Ord called for me about ten in the morning. I left my +dearest father with the less regret, as his own journey to Mrs. +crewe was very soon to take place. It was a terribly rainy +morning, but I was eager not to postpone the excursion. As we +travelled on towards Staines, I could scarcely divest myself of +the idea that I was but making again my usual journey to Windsor; +and I could with difficulty forbear calling Mrs. Ord Miss Planta +during the whole of that well-known road. I did not, indeed, +take her maid, who was our third in the coach, for Mr. de Luc, or +Mr. Turbulent; but the place she occupied made me think much more +of those I so long had had for my vis-`a-vis than of herself. + +We went on no farther than to Bagshot: thirty miles was the +extremity of our powers; but I bore them very tolerably, though +variably. We put up at the best inn, very early, and then +inquired what we could see In the town and neighbourhood. +"Nothing!" was the concise answer of a staring maid. We +determined, therefore, to prowl to the churchyard, and read the +tombstone inscriptions: but when we asked the way, the same +woman, staring still more wonderingly, exclaimed, "Church! +There's no church nigh here!--There's the Prince Of Wales'S, just +past the turning. You may go and see that, if you will." + +So on we walked towards this hunting Villa: but after toiling up +a long unweeded avenue, we had no sooner opened the gate to the +parks than a few score of dogs, which were lying in ambush, Set +Up so prodigious a variety of magnificent barkings, springing +forward at the same time, that, content with having caught a +brief view of the seat, we left them to lord it over the domain +they regarded as their own, and, with all due Submission, pretty +hastily shut the gate, without troubling them to give us another +salute. We returned to the inn, and read B---'s "Lives of the +Family of the Boyles." + +Aug. 2.-We proceeded to Farnham to breakfast, and thence walked +to the castle. The Bishop of Winchester, Mrs. North. and the +whole family are gone abroad. The castle is a good old building, +with as much of modern elegance and fashion intermixed in its +alterations and fitting up as Mrs. North could possibly contrive +to weave into its ancient grandeur. . . . I wished I could have +climbed to the top of an old tower, much out of repair, but so +high, that I fancied I could thence have espied the hills of +Norrbury. However, I was ready to fall already, from only +ascending the slope to reach the castle. + + +Page 413 + + A PARTY OF FRENCH FUGITIVES. + +We arrived early at Winchester; but the town was so full, as the +judges were expected next morning, that we could only get one +bed-chamber, in which Mrs. Ord, her maid, and myself reposed. + +just after we had been obliged to content ourselves with this +scanty accommodation, we saw a very handsome coach and four +horses, followed by a chaise and outriders, stop at the gate, and +heard the mistress of the house declare she- could not receive +the company; and the postilions, at the same time, protested the +horses could go no farther. They inquired for fresh horses; +there were none to be had in the whole city; and the party were +all forced to remain in their carriages, without horses, at the +inn-gate, for the chance of what might pass on the road. We +asked who they were, and our pity was doubled in finding them +foreigners. + +We strolled about the upper part of the city, leaving the +cathedral for the next morning. We saw a large, uniform, +handsome palace, which is called by the inhabitants "The king's +house," and which was begun by Charles II. We did not, +therefore, expect the elegant architecture of his father's days. +One part, they particularly told us, was designed for Nell Gwynn. +It was never finished, and neglect has taken place of time in +rendering it a most ruined structure, though, as it bears no +marks of antiquity, it has rather the appearance of owing its +destruction to a fire than to the natural decay of age. It is so +spacious, however, and stands so magnificently to overlook the +city, that I wish it to be completed for an hospital or +infirmary. I have written Mrs. Schwellenberg an account of its +appearance and state, which I am sure will be read by her +majesty. + +When we returned to the Inn, still the poor travellers were in +the same situation: they looked so desolate, and could so +indifferently make themselves understood, that Mrs. Ord good- +naturedly invited them to drink tea with us. They most +thankfully accepted the offer, and two ladies and two gentlemen +ascended the stairs with us to our dining-room. The chaise had +the female servants. + +The elder lady was so truly French--so vive and so triste in +turn--that she seemed formed from the written character of a +Frenchwoman, such, at least, as we English write them. She was +very forlorn in her air, and very sorrowful in her counte- + + +Page 414 + +nance; yet all action and gesture, and of an animation when +speaking nearly fiery in its vivacity: neither pretty nor young, +but neither ugly nor old; and her smile, which was rare, had a +finesse very engaging; while her whole demeanour announced a +person Of consequence, and all her discourse told that she was +well-informed, well-educated, and well-bred. + +The other lady, whom they called mademoiselle, as the first +madame, was young, dark but clear and bright in her eyes and +complexion, though without good features, or a manner of equal +interest with the lady she accompanied. She proved, however, +sensible, and seemed happy in the general novelty around her. +She spoke English pretty well, and was admired without mercy by +the rest of the party, as a perfect mistress of the language. +The madame spoke it very ill indeed, but pleasantly. + +Of the two gentlemen, one they called only monsieur, and the +other the madame addressed as her brother. The monsieur was +handsome, rather tonnish, and of the high haughty ton, and seemed +the devoted attendant or protector of the madame, who sometimes +spoke to him almost with asperity, from eagerness, and a tinge of +wretchedness and impatience, which coloured all she said; and, at +other times, softened off her vehemence with a smile the most +expressive, and which made its way to the mind immediately, by +coming with sense and meaning, and not merely from good humour +and good spirits as the more frequent smiles of happier persons. +The brother seemed lively and obliging, and entirely at the +devotion of his sister, who gave him her commands with an +authority that would not have brooked dispute. + +They told us they were just come from Southampton, which they had +visited in their way from viewing the fleet at the Isle of Wight +and Portsmouth, and they meant to go on now to Bath. + +We soon found they were aristocrats, which did better for them +with Mrs. Ord and me than it would have done with you republicans +of Norbury and Mickleham; yet I wish you had all met the madame, +and heard her Indignant unhappiness. They had been in England +but two months. They all evidently belonged to madame, who +appeared to me a fugitive just before the flight of the French +king,(346) or in consequence of his having been taken. + +Page 415 + +She entered upon her wretched situation very soon, lamenting that +he was, in fact, no king, and bewailing his want of courage for +his trials. the queen she never mentioned. She spoke once or +twice of son mari, but did not say who or what he was, nor where. + +"They say," she cried, "In France they have now liberty! Who has +liberty, le peuple, or the mob? Not les honn`etes gens; for +those whose principles are known to be aristocratic must fly, or +endure every danger and indignity. Ah! est-ce l`a la libert`e?" + +The monsieur said he had always been the friend of liberty, such +as it was in England; but in France it was general tyranny. +"In England," he cried, "he was a true democrat, though bien +aristocrate in France." + +"At least," said the poor madame, "formerly, in all the sorrows +of life, we had nos terres to which we could retire, and there +forget them, and dance, and sing, and laugh, and fling them all +aside, till forced back to Paris. But now our villas are no +protection: we may be safe, but the first offence conceived by le +peuple is certain destruction; and, without a moment's warning, +we may be forced to fly our own roofs, and see them and all we +are worth burnt before our eyes in horrible triumph." + +This was all said in French. But the anguish of her Countenance +filled me with compassion, though it was scarcely possible to +restrain a smile when, the moment after, she" said she Might be +very wrong, but she hoped I would forgive her if she owned she +preferred Paris incomparably to London and pitied me very +unreservedly for never having seen that first of cities. + +Her sole hope, she said, for the overthrow of that anarchy in +which the Unguarded laxity of the king had plunged the first +Country in the world,--vous me pardonnec, Mademoiselle,--was now +from the German princes, who, she flattered herself, Would rise +In their own defence. + +She told me, the next moment, of les spectacles I should find at +Southampton, and asked me what she might expect at Bath of public +amusement and buildings. + +I was travelling I said, for my health, and Should visit no +theatres, ball-rooms, etc., and could recommend none. + +She did not seem to comprehend me; yet, in the midst of + +Page 416 + +naming these places, she sighed as deeply from the bottom of her +heart as if she had been forswearing the world for ever in +despair. But it was necessary, , she said, when unhappy, to go +abroad the more, pour se distraire. In parting, they desired +much to renew acquaintance with us when we returned to London. +Mrs. Ord gave her direction to the monsieur, who in return, wrote +theirs--"The French ladies, NO. 30, Gerrard-street, Soho." + +They stayed till our early hour Of retiring made Mrs. Ord suffer +them to go. I was uneasy to know what would become of them. I +inquired of a waiter: he unfeelingly laughed, and said, "O! they +do well enough; they've got a room." I asked if he could yet let +them have beds to stay, or horses to proceed? "No," answered he, +sneeringly: "but it don't matter for, now they've got a room, +they are as merry and capering as if they were going to dance." + +just after this, Mrs. Stephenson, Mrs. Ord's maid, came running +in. "La! ma'am," she cried, "I've been so frightened, you can't +think: the French folks sent for me on purpose, to ask t'other +lady's name, they said, and they had asked William before, so +they knew it; but they said I must write it down, and where she +lived; so I was forced to write, 'Miss Burney, Chelsea,' and they +fell a smiling so at one another." + +'Twas impossible to help laughing; but we desired her, in return, +to send for one of their maids and ask their names also. She +came back, and said she could not understand the maids, and so +they had called one of the gentlemen, and he had written down +"Madame la Comtesse de Menage, et Mlle. de Beaufort." + +We found, afterwards, they had sat up till two in the morning, +and then procured horses and journeyed towards Oxford. + + WINCHESTER CATHEDRAL. + +Aug. 3.-We walked to the cathedral, and saw it completely. Part +of it remains from the original Saxon building, though neglected, +except by travellers, as the rest of the church is ample for all +uses, and alone kept in repair. The bones of eleven Saxon kings +are lodged in seven curious old chests, in which they were +deposited after being dug up and disturbed in the civil wars and +ensuing confusions. The small number of chests is owing to the +small proportion remaining of some of the skeletons, which +occasioned their being united with others. + + +Page 417 +The Saxon characters are in many inscriptions preserved, though +in none entire. They were washing a plaster from the walls, to +discern some curious old painting, very miserable, but very +entertaining, of old legends, which some antiquaries are now +endeavouring to discover. + +William of Wykham, by whom the cathedral was built in its present +form, lies buried, with his effigy and whole monument in very +fine alabaster, and probably very like, as it was done, they +aver, before he died. Its companion, equally superb, is Cardinal +Beaufort, uncle of Harry VI. William Rufus, slain in the +neighbouring forest, is buried in the old choir: his monument is +of plain stone, without any inscription or ornament, and only +shaped like a coffin. Hardyknute had a much more splendid +monument preserved for him; but Harry I. had other business to +attend, I presume, than to decorate the tomb of one brother while +despoiling of his kingdom another. An extremely curious old +chapel and monument remain of Archbishop Langton, of valuable +gothic workmanship. The altar, which is highly adorned with +gold, was protected in Cromwell's time by the address and skill +of the Winton inhabitants, who ran up a slight wall before it, +and deceived the reformists, soi-disants. I could hardly quit +this poor dear old building, so much I was interested with its +Saxon chiefs, its little queer niches, quaint images, damp cells, +mouldering walls, and mildewed pillars. One chest contains the +bones entire of Egbert, our first king. Edred, also. I +distinguished. + +The screen was given to this church by King Charles, and is the +work of Inigo Jones. It is very simple in point of ornament, +very complete in taste and elegance; nevertheless, a screen of +Grecian architecture in a cathedral of gothic workmanship was +ill, I think, imagined. + + + STONEHENGE, WILTON, AND MILTON ABBEY. + +Aug. 5.-We went to Stonehenge. Here I was prodigiously +disappointed, at first, by the huge masses of stone so +unaccountably piled at the summit of Salisbury Plain. However, +we alighted, and the longer I surveyed and considered them, the +more augmented my wonder and diminished my disappointment. + +We then went on to Wilton, where I renewed my delight over the +exquisite Vandykes, and with the statues, busts, and pictures, +which again I sighingly quitted, with a longing wish + +Page 418 + +I might ever pass under that roof time enough to see them more +deliberately. We stopped in the Hans Holbein Porch, and upon the +Inigo Jones bridge, as long as we Could stand, after standing and +staring and straining our eyes till our guide was quite fatigued. +'Tis a noble collection; and how might it be enjoyed if, as an +arch rustic Old labouring man told u, fine folks lived as they +ought to do! + +Sunday, Aug. 7.-After an early dinner we set off for Milton +Abbey, the seat of Lord Milton, partly constructed from the old +abbey and partly new. There is a magnificent gothic hall in +excellent preservation, of evident Saxon workmanship, and +extremely handsome, though not of the airy beauty of the chapel. +The situation of this abbey is truly delicious: it is in a vale +of extreme fertility and richness, surrounded by hills of the +most exquisite form, and mostly covered with hanging woods, but +so varied in their growth and groups, that the eye is perpetually +fresh caught with objects of admiration. 'Tis truly a lovely +place. + + + LYME AND SIDMOUTH. + +Aug. 8.-We proceeded to Bridport, a remarkably clean town, with +the air so clear and pure, it seemed a new climate. Hence we set +out, after dinner, for Lyme, and the road through which we +travelled is the most beautiful to which my wandering destinies +have yet sent me. It is diversified with all that can compose +luxuriant scenery, and with just as much of the approach to +sublime as is in the province of unterrific beauty. The hills +are the highest, I fancy, in the south of this county--the +boldest and noblest; the vales of the finest verdure, wooded and +watered as if only to give ideas of finished landscapes; while +the whole, from time to time, rises into still superior grandeur, +by openings between the heights that terminate the View With the +Splendour of the British channel. + +There was no going on in the carriage through such enchanting +scenes; we got out upon the hills, and walked till we could walk +no longer. The descent down to Lyme is uncommonly steep; and +indeed is very striking, from the magnificence of the ocean that +washes its borders. Chidiock and Charmouth, two villages between +Bridport and Lyme, are the very prettiest I have ever seen. +During the whole of this post I was fairly taken away, not only +from the world but from myself, and completely wrapped up and +engrossed by the + + +Page 419 + +pleasures, wonders, and charms of animated nature, thus seen in +fair perfection. Lyme. however, brought me to myself; for the +part by the sea, where we fixed our abode, was so dirty and fishy +that I rejoiced when we left it. + +Aug. 9.- We travelled to Sidmouth. And here we have taken up our +abode for a week. It was all devoted to rest and sea-air. + +Sidmouth is built in a vale by the sea-coast, and the terrace for +company is nearer to the ocean than any I have elsewhere seen, +and therefore both more pleasant and more commodious. The little +bay is of a most peaceful kind, and the sea was as calm and +gentle as the Thames. I longed to bathe, but I am in no state +now to take liberties with myself, and, having no advice at hand, +I ran no risk. + + + + SIDMOUTH LOYALTY. + +Nothing has given me so much pleasure since I came to this place +as our landlady's account of her own and her town's loyalty. She +is a baker, a poor widow woman, she told us, who lost her husband +by his fright in thinking he saw a ghost, just after her mother +was drowned. She carries on the business, with the help of her +daughter, a girl about fifteen. + +I inquired of her if she had seen the royal family when they +visited Devonshire? "Yes, sure, ma'am!" she cried; there was +ne'er a soul left in all this place for going Out to See 'em. My +daughter and I rode a double horse, and we went to Sir George +Young's, and got into the park, for we knew the housekeeper, and +she gave my daughter a bit to taste of the king's dinner when +they had all done, and she said she might talk on it when she was +a old woman." + +I asked another good woman, who came in for some flour, if she +had been of the party? "No," she said, "she was ill, but she had +had holiday enough upon the king's recovery, for there was such a +holiday then as the like was not in all England." + +"Yes, sure, ma'am," cried the poor baker-woman, "we all did our +best then for there was ne'er a town in all England like Sidmouth +for rejoicing. Why, I baked a hundred and ten penny loaves for +the poor, and so did every baker in town, and there's three, and +the gentry subscribed for it. And the gentry roasted a bullock +and cut it all up, and we all eat it, in the midst of the +rejoicing. And then we had such a fine + + +page 420 +sermon, it made us all cry; there was a more tears shed than ever +was known, all for over-joy. And they had the king drawed, and +dressed up all in gold and laurels, and they put un in a coach +and eight horses, and carried un about; and all the grand +gentlemen in the town, and all abouts, come in their own +carriages to join. And they had the finest band of music in all +England singing 'God save the king,' and every Soul joined in the +chorus, and all not so much because he was a king, but because +they said a was such a worthy gentleman, and that the like of him +was never known in this nation before: so we all subscribed for +the illuminations for that reason, some a shilling, some a +guinea, and some a penny,--for no one begrudged it, as a was such +a worthy person." + +This good Mrs. Dare has purchased images of all the royal family, +in her great zeal, and I had them in my apartment--King, Queen, +Prince of Wales, Dukes of York, Clarence, Kent, Sussex, +Cumberland, and Cambridge; Princess Royal, and Princesses +Augusta, Eliza, Mary, Sophia, and Amelia, God bless them all! + + + POWDERHAM CASTLE AND COLLUMPTON CHURCH. + +Aug. 16.-We quitted Sidmouth, and proceeded through the finest +country possible to Exmouth, to see that celebrated spot of +beauty. The next morning we crossed the Ex and visited Powderham +Castle. Its appearance, noble and antique without, loses all +that character from French finery and minute elegance and gay +trappings within. The present owner, Lord Courtney, has fitted +it up in the true Gallic taste, and every room has the air of +being ornamented for a gala. The housekeeper did not let us see +half the castle; she only took us to those rooms which the +present lord has modernized and fitted up in the sumptuous French +taste ; the old part of the castle she doubtless thought would +disgrace him; forgetting or rather never knowing--that the old +part alone was worth a traveller's curiosity, since the rest +might be anticipated by a visit to any celebrated cabinet-maker. + +Thence we proceeded to Star Cross to dine; and saw on the +opposite coast the house Of Sir Francis Drake, which was built by +his famous ancestor. Here we saw a sight that reminded me of the +drawings of Webber from the South Sea Isles; women scarce clothed +at all, with feet and legs entirely naked, straw bonnets of +uncouth Shapes tied on their heads, a + + +Page 421 + +sort of man's jacket on their bodies, and their short coats +pinned up in the form of concise trousers, very succinct! and a +basket on each arm, strolling along with wide mannish strides to +the borders of the river, gathering cockles. They looked, +indeed, miserable and savage. + +Hence we went, through very beautiful roads, to Exeter. That +great old city is too narrow, too populous, too dirty, and too +ill-paved, to meet with my applause. Next morning we breakfasted +at Collumpton, and visited its church. Here we saw the remains +of a once extremely rich gothic structure, though never large. +There is all the appearance of its having been the church of an +abbey before the Reformation. It is situated in a deep but most +fertile vale; its ornaments still retain so much of gilding, +painting, and antique splendour, as could never have belonged to +a mere country church. The wood carving, too, though in ruins, +is most laboriously well done; the roof worked in blue and gold, +lighter, but in the style of the royal chapel at St. James's.We +were quite surprised to find such a structure in a town so +little known or named. One aisle was added by a clothier of the +town in the reign of Edward VI.; probably upon its +first being used as a protestant and public place of worship. +This is still perfect, but very clumsy and inelegant compared +with the ancient part. The man, to show he gloried in the +honest profession whence he derived wealth for this good purpose, +has his arms at one corner, with his name, J. Lane, in gothic +characters, and on the opposite corner his image, terribly worked +in the wall, with a pair of shears in one hand, so large as to +cut across the figure downwards almost obscuring all but his +feet. Till the cicerone explained this, I took the idea for a +design of Death, placed where most conspicuously he might show +himself, ready to cut in two the poor objects that entered the +church. + + + GLASTONBURY ABBEY. + +Aug. 19.-To vary the scenery we breakfasted at Bridgewater, in as +much dirt and noise, from the judges filling the town, as at +Taunton we had enjoyed neatness and quiet. We walked beside the +river, which is navigable from the Bristol channel ; and a stream +more muddy, and a quay more dirty and tarry and pitchy, I would +not covet to visit again. It is here called the Perrot. + + +Thence, however, we proceeded to what made amends + +Page 422 + +all--the ruins of Glastonbury Abbey. These are the most elegant +remains of monkish grandeur I have ever chanced to see,--the +forms, designs, ornaments,---all that is left is in the highest +perfection of gothic beauty. Five hundred souls, the people told +us, were supported in this abbey and its cloisters. + +A chapel of Joseph of Arimathea has the outworks nearly entire, +and I was quite bewitched with their antique beauty. But the +entrance into the main front of the abbey is stupendous; its +height is such that the eye aches to look up at it, though it is +now curtailed, by no part of its arch remaining except the first +inclination towards that form, which shows it to have been the +entrance. Not a bit of roof remains in any part. All the +monuments that Were not utterly decayed or destroyed have been +removed to Wells. Mere walls alone are left here, except the +monks' kitchen. This is truly curious: it is a circular +building, with a dome as high--higher I fancy--than the +Pantheon's; four immense fireplaces divide it Into four parts at +the bottom, and an oven still is visible. One statue is left in +one niche, which the people about said was of the abbot's chief +cook! + +If this monastery was built by the famous old cruel hypocrite +abbot, Dunstan, I shall grieve so much taste was bestowed on such +a wretch.(347) We had only labourers for our informants. But +one boy was worth hearing: he told me there was a well of +prodigious depth, which he showed me, and this well had long been +dried up, and so covered over as to be forgotten, till his +grandfather dreamed a dream that the water of this well would +restore him from a bad state of health to good; so he dug, and +the well was found, and he drank the water and was cured! And +since then the poor came from all parts who were afflicted with +diseases, and drank the water and were cured. One woman was now +at Glastonbury to try it, and already almost well! What strange +inventions and superstitions even the ruins of what had belonged +to St. Dunstan can yet engender! The Glastonbury thorn we forgot +to ask for. + + + WELLS CATHEDRAL. + +Hence we proceeded to Wells. Here we waited, as usual, upon the +cathedral, which received our compliments with but + + +Page 423 + +small return of civility. There was little to be seen without, +except old monuments of old abbots removed from Glastonbury, so +inferior in workmanship and design to the abbey once containing +them, that I was rather displeased than gratified +by the sight. They have also a famous clock, brought from the +abbey at Its general demolition. This exhibits a set of horses +with riders, who curvet a dance round a bell by the pulling a +string, with an agility comic enough, and fitted to serve for a +puppet-show; which, in all probability, was its design, in order +to recreate the poor monks at their hours of play. + +There is also a figure of St. Dunstan, who regularly strikes the +quarters of every hour by clock-work, and who holds in his hand a +pair of tongs--the same I suppose as those with which he was wont +to pull the devil by the nose, in their nocturnal interviews. + +The old castle of Wells is now the palace for the bishop. It is +moated still, and looks dreary, Secluded, and in the bad old +style. + +At night, upon a deeply deliberate investigation in the medical +way, it was suddenly resolved that we should proceed to Bath +instead of Bristol, and that I should try there first the stream +of King BladUd. So now, at this moment, here we are. + + +BATH REVISITED. + +Queen Square, Bath, Aug. 20.--Bath is extremely altered since +I last visited it. Its circumference is perhaps trebled but its +buildings are so unfinished, so spread, so everywhere beginning +and nowhere ending, that it looks rather like a space of ground +lately fixed upon for erecting a town, than a town itself, of so +many years' duration. It is beautiful and wonderful throughout. +The hills are built up and down, and the vales so stocked with +streets and houses, that, in some places, from the ground-floor +on one side a street, you cross over to the attic of your +opposite neighbour. The white stone, where clean, has a +beautiful effect, and, even where worn, a grand one. But I must +not write a literal Bath guide, and a figurative one Anstey (348) +has all to himself. I will only tell you in brief, yet in truth, +it looks a city of palaces, a town of hills, and a hill of towns. + +Page 424 + +O how have I thought, in patrolling it, Of my poor Mrs, Thrale! +I went to look (and sigh at the sight) at the house on the North +parade where we dwelt, and almost every Old place brings to my +mind some scene in which we were engaged. Besides the constant +sadness of all recollections that bring fresh to my thoughts a +breach with a friend once so loved, how are most of the families +altered and dispersed in these absent ten Years! From Mrs. +Montagu's, Miss Gregory by a marriage disapproved, is removed for +ever; from Mrs. Cholmley's, by the severer blow of death, Lady +Mulgrave is separated; Mrs. Lambart, by the same blow, has lost +the brother, Sir Philip Clerke, who brought us to her +acquaintance; Mr. Bowdler and his excellent eldest daughter have +yielded to the same stroke; Mrs. Byron has followed. Miss Leigh +has been married and widowed; Lord Mulgrave has had the same hard +lot; and, besides these, Mrs. Cotton, Mrs. Thrale's aunt, Lady +Miller, and Mr. Thrale himself, are no more. + + + A VISIT FROM LADY SPENCER. + +Aug. 31.-I found I had no acquaintance here, except Mr. +Harrington, who is ill, Mrs. Hartley, who is too lame for +visiting, and the Vanbrughs; and though Mrs. Ord, from her +frequent residence here, knows many of the settled inhabitants, +she has kindly complied with my request of being dispensed from +making new visits. + +Soon after we came, while I was finishing some letters, and quite +alone, Mrs. Ord's servant brought me word Lady Spencer would ask +me how I did, if I was well enough to receive her. Of course I +begged she might come up-stairs. I have met her two or three +times at my dearest Mrs. Delany's, where I met, also, with marked +civilities from her. I knew she was here, with her unhappy +daughter,--Lady Duncannon,(349) whom she assiduously nurses, +aided by her more celebrated other daughter, the Duchess of +Devonshire. + +She made a very flattering apology for coming, and then began to +converse upon my beloved Mrs. Delany, and thence to subjects more +general. She is a sensible and sagacious character, intelligent, +polite, and agreeable, and she spends her life in such exercises +of active charity and zeal, that she + +Page 425 + +would be one of the most exemplary women of rank of the age, had +she less of show in her exertions, and more of forbearance in +publishing them. My dear oracle, however, once said, vainglory +must not be despised or discouraged, when it operated but as a +human engine for great or good deeds. + +She spoke of Lady Duncannon's situation with much sorrow, and +expatiated upon her resignation to her fate, her prepared state +for death, and the excellence of her principles, with an +eagerness and feeling that quite overwhelmed me with surprise and +embarrassment. Her other daughter she did not mention; but her +grand-daughter, Lady Georgiana Cavendish, she spoke of with +rapture. Miss Trimmer, also, the eldest daughter of the +exceeding worthy Mrs. Trimmer, she named with a regard that +seemed quite affectionate. She told me she had the care of the +young Lady Cavendishes, but was in every respect treated as if +one of themselves. + + + BATH SUNDAY SCHOOLS. + +The name of Mrs. Trimmer led us to talk of the Sunday schools and +Schools of Industry. They are both in a very flourishing state +at Bath, and Lady Spencer has taken one school under her own +immediate patronage. The next day, of course, I waited on her - +she was out. But the following day, which was Sunday,, she sent +me a message up-stairs to say she would take me to see the +Sunday-school, if I felt well enough to desire it. She waited +below for my answer, which, of course, I carried down in my +proper person, ready hatted and cloaked. + +It was a most interesting sight. Such a number of poor innocent +children, all put into a way of right, most taken immediately +from every way of wrong, lifting Up their little hands, and +joining in those prayers and supplications for mercy and grace, +which, even if they understand not, must at least impress them +with a general idea of religion, a dread of evil, and a love of +good ; it was, indeed, a sight to expand the best hopes of the +heart. + +I felt very much obliged to my noble conductress, with whom I had +much talk upon the subject in our walk back. Her own little +school, of course, engaged us the most. She told me that the +next day six of her little girls were to be new clothed, by +herself, in honour of the birthday of the Duke of Devonshire's +second daughter, Lady Harriot Cavendish, who + + +Page 426 + +was to come to her grandmamma's house to see the +ceremony. To this sight she also Invited me, and I accepted her +kindness with pleasure. + +The following day, therefore, Monday, I obeyed Lady Spencer's +time, and at six o'clock was at her house in Gay-street. Lady +Spencer had Mrs. Mary Pointz and Miss Trimmer with her; and the +six children, just prepared for Lady Harriot, in their new gowns, +were dismissed from their examination, upon my arrival, and sent +down-stairs to Wait the coming of her little ladyship, who, +having dined with her mamma, was later than her appointment. + +Lady Georgiana is just eight Years old. She has a fine, +animated, sweet, and handsome countenance, and the form and +figure of a girl of ten or twelve years of age. Lady Harriot, +who this day was six Years old, is by no means so handsome, but +has an open and pleasing countenance, and a look of the most +happy disposition. Lady Spencer brought her to me immediately. +I inquired after the young Marquis of Hartington. Lady Spencer +told me they never trusted him from the Upper walks, near his +house, in Marlborough-buildings. He has a house of his own near +the duke's, and a carriage entirely to himself; but YOU will see +the necessity of these appropriations, when I remind You he is +now fourteen months old. + +Lady Spencer had now a lottery--without blanks, you Will suppose- +-of playthings and toys for the children. She distributed the +prizes, and Lady Duncannon held the tickets. During this entered +Lord Spencer, the son of Lady Spencer, who was here only for +three days, to see his sister Duncannon. They had all dined with +the little Lady Harriot. The duke is now at Chatsworth, in +Derbyshire. + +I thought of Lord Spencer's kindness to Charles, and I +recollected he was a favourite of Mr. Windham. I saw him, +therefore, with very different ideas to those raised by the sight +of his poor sister Duncannon, to whom he made up with every mark +of pitying affection; she, meanwhile, receiving him with the most +expressive pleasure, though nearly silent. I could not help +feeling touched, in defiance of all obstacles. + +Presently followed two ladies. Lady Spencer, with a look and +manner warmly announcing pleasure in what she was doing, then +introduced me to the first of them, saying, "Duchess of +Devonshire, Miss Burney." + +She made me a very civil compliment upon hoping my + +Page 427- + +health was recovering, and Lady Spencer then, shortly, and as if +unavoidably, said, "Lady Elizabeth Foster." + +I have neglected to mention, in its place, that the six poor +little girls had a repast in the garden, and Lady Georgiana +earnestly begged leave to go down and see and speak with them. +She applied to Lady Spencer. "O grandmamma," she cried, "pray +let me go! Mamma says it all depends upon you." The duchess +expressed some fear lest there might be any illness or disorder +among the poor things: Lady Spencer answered for them; and Lady +Georgiana, with a sweet delight, flew down into the garden, all +the rest accompanying, and Lady Spencer and the duchess soon +following. It was a beautiful sight, taken in all its +dependencies, from the windows. Lord Spencer presently joined +them, + + + GEORGIANA, DUCHESS OF DEVONSHIRE + +To return to the duchess. I did not find so much beauty in her +as I expected, notwithstanding the variations of accounts; but I +found far more of manner, politeness, and gentle quiet. She +seems by nature to possess the highest animal spirits, but she +appeared to me not happy. I thought she looked oppressed within, +though there is a native cheerfulness about her which I fancy +scarce ever deserts her. There is in her face, especially when +she speaks, a sweetness of good-humour and obligingness, that +seem to be the natural and instinctive qualities of her +disposition; joined to an openness of countenance that announces +her endowed, by nature, with a character intended wholly for +honesty, fairness, and good purposes. + +She now conversed with me wholly, and in so soberly sensible and +quiet a manner, as I had imagined incompatible with her powers. +Too much and too little credit have variously been given her. +About me and my health she was more civil than I can well tell +you; not from prudery--I have none, in these records, methinks!- +-but from its being mixed into all that passed. We talked over +my late tour, Bath waters, and the king's illness. This, which +was led to by accident, was here a tender Subject, considering +her heading the Regency squadron; however, I have only one line +to pursue, and from that I can never vary. I spoke of my own +deep distress from his sufferings without reserve, and of the +distress of the queen with the most avowed compassion and +respect. She was extremely well-bred in all she said herself, +and seemed willing + + +Page 428 + +to keep up the subject. I fancy no one has just in the same way +treated it with her grace before; however, she took all in good +part, though to have found me retired in discontent had perhaps +been more congenial to her. But I have been sedulous to make +them all know the contrary. Nevertheless, as I am eager to be +considered apart from all party, I was much pleased, after all +this, to have her express herself very desirous to keep up Our +acquaintance, ask many questions as to the chance of my remaining +in Bath, most politely hope to profit from it, and, finally, +inquire my direction. + +Lady Elizabeth (Foster] has the character of being so alluring +that Mrs. Holroyd told me it was the opinion Of Mr. Gibbon no man +could withstand her, and that, if she chose to beckon the lord +chancellor from his woolsack, in full sight of the world, he +could not resist obedience!(350) + + + BISHOP PERCY. + +Not long after our settling at Bath, I found, upon returning from +the Pump-room, cards left for me of the Bishop of Dromore (Dr. +Percy), Mrs. and the Miss Percys. I had met them formerly once +at Miss Reynolds's, and once Visited them when Dr. Percy was Dean +of Carlisle. The collector and editor of the beautiful reliques +of ancient English poetry, I could not but be happy to again see. +I returned the visit: they were out; but the bishop soon after +came when I was at home. I had a pleasant little chat with him. +The bishop is perfectly easy and unassuming, very communicative, +and, though not very entertaining because too prolix, he is +otherwise intelligent and of good commerce. Mrs. Percy is ill, +and cannot make visits, though she sends her name and receives +company at home. She is very uncultivated and ordinary in +manners and conversation, but a good creature and much delighted +to talk over the royal family, to one of whom she was formerly a +nurse. + + + THE DUCHESS OF DEVONSHIRE AGAIN. + +Three days before we left Bath, as I was coming with Mrs. Ord +from the Pump-room, we encountered a chair from + +Page 429 + +which a lady repeatedly kissed her hand and bowed to me. I was +too nearsighted to distinguish who she was, till, coming close, +and a little stopped by more people, she put her face to the +glass, and said "How d'ye do? How d'ye do?" and I recollected +the Duchess of Devonshire. + + +About an hour after I had again the honour of a visit from her, +and with Lady dowager Spencer. I was luckily at home alone, Mrs +Ord having dedicated the rest of the morning to her own visits. +I received them, therefore, with great pleasure. I now saw the +duchess far more easy and lively in her spirits, and, +consequently, far more lovely in her person. Vivacity is so much +her characteristic, that her style of beauty requires it +indispensably; the beauty, indeed, dies away without it. I now +saw how her fame for personal charms had been obtained; the +expression of her smiles is so very sweet, and has an +ingenuousness and openness so singular, that, taken in those +moments, not the most rigid critic could deny the justice of her +personal celebrity. She was quite gay, easy, and charming: +indeed, that last epithet might have been coined for her. + +This has certainly been a singular acquaintance for me that the +first visit I should make after leaving the queen should be to +meet the head of the opposition public, the Duchess of +Devonshire! + + + DR. BURNEY'S CONVERSATION WITH MR. BURKE: REMARKS BY Miss +BURNEY. + +"I [Dr. Burney] dined with Sir Joshua last week, and met Mr. +Burke, his brother, Mr. Malone, the venerable Bishop of St. Pol +de L`eonn, and a French abb`e or chevalier. I found Mr. Burke in +the room on my arrival, and after the first very cordial +civilities were over, he asked me, with great eagerness, whether +I thought he might go in his present dress to pay his respects to +Miss Burney, and was taking up his hat, till I told him you were +out of town. He imagined, I Suppose, you were in St. +Martin's-street, where he used to call upon you. In talking over +your health, the recovery of your liberty and of society, he +said, if Johnson had been alive, your history would +Page 430 + +have furnished him with an additional and interesting article to +his 'Vanity of Human Wishes.' He said he had never been more +mistaken in his life. He thought the queen had never behaved +more amiably, or shown more good sense, than in appropriating you +to her service; but what a service had it turned out!--a +confinement to such a companion as Mrs. Schwellenberg!--Here +exclamations of severity and kindness in turn lasted a +considerable time." + +If ever I see Mr. Burke where he speaks to me upon the subject, I +will openly confide to him how impossible it was that the queen +should conceive the subserviency expected, unjustly and +unwarrantably, by Mrs. Schwellenberg: to whom I ought only to +have belonged officially, and at official hours, unless the +desire of further intercourse had been reciprocal. The queen had +imagined that a younger and more lively colleague would have made +her faithful old servant happier and that idea was merely amiable +in her majesty, who could not Suspect the misery inflicted on +that poor new colleague, + + + LITERARY RECREATION. + +Chelsea College, October-.-I have never been so pleasantly +situated at home since I lost the sister of my heart and my most +affectionate Charlotte. My father is almost constantly Within. +Indeed, I now live with him wholly ; he has himself appropriated +me a place, a seat, a desk, a table, and every convenience and +comfort, and he never seemed yet so earnest to keep me about him. +We read together, write together,- chat, compare notes, +communicate projects, and diversify each other's employments. He +is all goodness, gaiety, and affection; and his society and +kindness are more precious to Me than ever. +Fortunately, in this season of leisure and comfort, the spirit of +composition proves active. The day is never long enough, and I +Could employ two pens almost incessantly, in my scribbling what +will not be repressed. This is a delight to my dear father +inexpressibly great and though I have gone no further than to let +him know, from time to time, the species of matter that occupies +me, he is perfectly contented, and patiently waits till something +is quite finished, before he insists upon reading a word. This +"suits my humour well," as my own industry is all gone when once +its intent is produced. + +For the rest I have been going on with my third tragedy. + +Page 431 + + I have two written, but never yet have had opportunity to read +them; which, of course, prevents their being corrected to the +best of my power, and fitted for the perusal of less indulgent +eyes; or rather of eyes less prejudiced. + +Believe me, my dear friends, in the present composed and happy +state of my mind, I Could never have suggested these tales; but, +having only to correct, combine, contract, and finish, I will not +leave them undone. Not, however, to sadden myself to the same +point in which I began them, I read more than I write, and call +for happier themes from others, to enliven my mind from the +dolorous sketches I now draw of my Own. + +The library or study, in which we constantly sit, supplies such +delightful variety of food, that I have nothing to wish. Thus, +my beloved sisters and friends, you see me, at length, enjoying +all that peace, ease, and chosen recreation and employment, for +which so long I sighed in vain, and which, till very lately, I +had reason to believe, even since attained, had been allowed me +too late. I am more and more thankful every night, every +morning, for the change in my destiny, and present blessings of +my lot ; and you, my beloved Susan and Fredy, for whose prayers I +have so often applied in my sadness, suffering, and despondence, +afford me now the same community of thanks and acknowledgments. + + + SIR JOSHUA REYNOLDs's BLINDNESS. + +November.-Another evening my father took me to Sir Joshua +Reynolds. I had long languished to see that kindly zealous +friend, but his ill health had intimidated me rom making the +attempt; and now my dear father went up stairs alone, and +inquired of Miss Palmer if her uncle was well enough to admit me. +He returned for me immediately. I felt the utmost pleasure in +again mounting his staircase. + +Miss Palmer hastened forward and embraced me most cordially. I +then shook hands with Sir Joshua. He had a bandage over one eye, +and the other shaded with a green halfbonnet. He seemed serious +even to sadness, though extremely kind. "I am very glad," he +said, in a meek voice and dejected accent, "to see you again, and +I wish I could see you better! but I have only one eye now,--and +hardly that." + +I was really quite touched. The expectation of total blind- + +Page 432 + +ness depresses him inexpressibly; not, however, inconceivably I +hardly knew how to express either my concern for his altered +situation since our meeting, or my joy in again being with him: +but my difficulty was short; Miss Palmer eagerly drew me to +herself, and recommended to Sir Joshua to go on with his cards. +He had no spirit to oppose; probably, indeed, no inclination. + +One other time we called again, in a morning. Sir Joshua and his +niece were alone, and that invaluable man was even more dejected +than before. How grievous to me It is to see him thus +changed!(352) + + + AMONG OLD FRIENDS. + +December.-I most gladly accepted an invitation to my good Mrs. +Ord, to meet a circle of old friends. The day proved extremely +pleasant. We went to dinner, my father and I, and met Mrs. +Montagu, in good spirits, and very unaffectedly agreeable. No +one was there to awaken ostentation, no new acquaintance to +require any surprise from her powers; she was therefore natural +and easy, as well as informing and entertaining. + +Mrs. Garrick embraced me again and again, to express a +satisfaction in meeting me once more in this social way, that she +would have thought it indecorous to express by words. I thanked +her exactly in the same language ; and, without a syllable being +uttered, she said, "I rejoice you are no longer a courtier!" and +I answered, "I love you dearly for preferring me in my old +state!" + +In the evening we were joined by Lady Rothes,(353) with whom I +had my peace to make for a long-neglected letter upon my + +Page 433 + +"restoration to society," as she termed it, and who was very +lively and pleasant. . . . + +Mr. Pepys, who came just at that instant from Twickenham, which +he advanced eagerly to tell me, talked of Mr. Cambridge, and his +admirable wit and spirits, and Miss Cambridge, and her fervent +friendship for me, and the charm and agreeability of the whole +house, with an ardour so rapid, there scarce needed any reply. + +Mr. Batt gave me a most kindly congratulatory bow upon his +entrance. I knew his opinion of my retreat, and understood it: +but I was encircled till the concluding part of the evening by +the Pepys and Lady Rothes, etc.; and then Mr. Batt seated himself +by my elbow, and began. "How I rejoice," he cried, "to see you +at length out of thraldom!" + +"Thraldom?" quoth I, "that's rather a strong word! I assure you +'tis the first time I have heard it pronounced full and plumply." + +"O, but," cried he, laughing, "I may be allowed to say so, +because you know my principles. You know me to be loyal; you +could not stand it from an opposition-man--but saints may do +much!" + +He is a professed personal friend of Mr. Pitt. + +I then began some exculpation of my late fatigues, assuring him +they were the effect of a situation not understood, and not of +any hardness of heart. + +"Very probably," cried he; "but I am glad you have ended them: I +applaud--I honour the step you have taken. Those who suffer, yet +still continue in fetters, I never pity;--there is a want of +integrity, as well as spirit, in such submission." + +"Those they serve," cried I, "are not the persons to blame; they +are commonly uninformed there is anything to endure, and believe +all is repaid by the smiles so universally solicited." + +"I know it," cried he; "and it is that general base subservience +that makes me struck with your opposite conduct." + +"My conduct," quoth I, "was very simple; though I believe it did +not the less surprise; but it all consisted in not pretending, +when I found myself sinking, to be swimming." + +He said many other equally good-natured things, and finished them +with "But what a pleasure it is to me to see you here in this +manner, dressed no more than other people! I have not seen you +these five years past but looking dressed out for the +Drawing-room, or something as bad!" + + +Page 434 + A SUMMONS FROM THE QUEEN. + +January.-I had a very civil note from Mrs. Schwellenberg telling +me that Miss Goldsworthy was ill, which made Miss Gomme necessary +to the princesses, and therefore, as Mlle. Jacobi was still lame, +her majesty wished for my attendance On Wednesday noon. I +received this little summons with very sincere pleasure, and sent +a warm acknowledgment for its honour. I was engaged for the +evening to Mr. Walpole, now Lord Orford, by my father, who +promised to call for me at the Queen's house. + +At noon I went thither, and saw, by the carriages, their +majesties were just arrived from Windsor. In my way upstairs I +encountered the Princess Sophia. I really felt a pleasure at her +sight, so great that I believe I saluted her ; I hardly know ; +but she came forward, with her hands held out, so good humoured +and so sweetly, I was not much on my guard. How do I wish I had +gone that moment to my royal mistress, while my mind was fully +and honestly occupied with the most warm satisfaction in being +called again into her presence! + +The Princess Sophia desired me to send her Miss Gomme, whom she +said I should find in my own room. Thither I went, and we +embraced very cordially; but she a little made me stare by +saying, "Do you sleep in your old bed?" "No," I answered, "I go +home after dinner," and she said no more, but told me she must +have two hours conference alone with me, from the multiplicity of +things she had to discuss with me. + +We parted then, and I proceeded to Mrs. Schwellenberg. There I +was most courteously received, and told I was to go at night to +the play. I replied I was extremely sorry, but I was engaged. +She looked deeply displeased, and I was forced to offer to send +an excuse. Nothing, however, was settled; she went to the queen, +whither I was most eager to follow, but I depended upon her +arrangement, and could not go uncalled. + +I returned to my own room, as they still call it, and Miss Gomme +and Miss Planta both came to me. We had a long discourse upon +matters and things. By and by Miss Gomme was called out to +Princesses Mary and Amelia; she told them who was in the old +apartment, and they instantly entered it. Princess Mary took my +hand, and said repeatedly, "My dear Miss Burney, how glad I am to +see you again!" and the lovely little Princess Amelia kissed me +twice, with the sweetest air of + + +Page 435 + +affection. This was a very charming meeting to me, and I +expressed my real delight in being thus allowed to come amongst +them again, in the strongest and truest terms. + +I had been but a short time alone, when Westerhaults came to ask +me if I had ordered my father's carriage to bring me from the +play. I told him I was engaged but would give up that +engagement, and endeavour to secure being fetched home after the +play. + +Mrs. Schwellenberg then desired to see me. "What you mean by +going home?" cried she, somewhat deridingly: "know you not you +might sleep here?" + +I was really thunderstruck; so weak still, and so unequal as I +feel to undertake night and morning attendance, which I now saw +expected. I was obliged, however, to comply; and I wrote a note +to Sarah, and another note to be given to my father, when he +called to take me to Lord Orford. But I desired we might go in +chairs, and not trouble him for the carriage. + +This arrangement, and my dread of an old attendance I was so +little fitted for renewing, had so much disturbed me before I was +summoned to the queen, that I appeared before her without any of +the glee and spirits with which I had originally obeyed her +commands. I am still grieved at this circumstance, as it must +have made me seem cold and insensible to herself, when I was +merely chagrined at the peremptory mismanagement of her agent. +Mr. de Luc was with her. She was gracious, but by no means +lively or cordial. She was offended, probably,--and there was no +reason to wonder, and yet no means to clear away the cause. This +gave me much vexation, and the more I felt it the less I must +have appeared to merit her condescension. + +Nevertheless, after she was dressed she honoured me with a +summons to the White closet, where I presently felt as much at +home as if I had never quitted the royal residence. She inquired +into my proceedings, and I began a little history of my +south-west tour,- which she listened to till word was brought the +king was come from the levee: dinner was then ordered, and I was +dismissed. + +At our dinner, the party, in the old style, was -Mr. de Luc, Miss +Planta, Mrs. Stainforth, and Miss Gomme; Mrs. Schwellenberg was +not well enough to leave her own apartment, except to attend the +queen. We were gay enough, I own my spirits were not very low in +finding myself a guest at that table, where + + +Page 436 + +I was so totally unfit to be at home, and whence, nevertheless,; +I should have been very much and deeply concerned to have found +myself excluded, since the displeasure of the queen could alone +have procured such a banishment. Besides, to visit, I like the +whole establishment, however inadequate I found them for +supplying the place of all I quitted to live among them. O, who +could succeed there? + +During the dessert the Princess Elizabeth came into the T +room. I was very glad, by this means, to see all this lovely +female tribe. As soon as she was gone I made off to prepare for +the play, with fan, cloak-, and gloves. At the door of my new +old room who should I encounter but Mr. Stanhope? He was all +rapture, in his old way, at the meeting, and concluded me, I +believe, reinstated. I got off as fast as Possible, and had just +shut myself in, and him out, when I heard the voice of the king, +who passed my door to go to the dining-room. + +I was quite chagrined to have left it so unseasonably, as my +whole heart yearned to see him. He stayed but a minute, and I +heard him stop close to my door, and speak with Mr. de Luc. The +loudness of his voice assuring me he was saying nothing he meant +to be unheard, I could not resist softly opening my door. I +fancy he expected this, for he came up to me immediately, and +with a look of goodness almost amounting to pleasure--I believe I +may say quite--he inquired after my health, and its restoration, +and said he was very glad to see me again. Then turning gaily to +Mr. de Luc, "And you, Mr. de Luc," he cried, "are not you, too, +very glad to see Miss Beurni again?" + +I told him, very truly, the pleasure with which I had reentered +his roof.--He made me stand near a lamp, to examine me, and +pronounced upon my amended looks with great benevolence: and, +when he was walking away, said aloud to Mr. de Luc, who attended +him, "I dare say she was very willing to come!" + +Our party in the box for the queen's attendants consisted of Lady +Catherine Stanhope, Miss Planta, Major Price, Greville Upton, and +Mr. Frank Upton. The king and queen and six princesses sat +opposite. It was to me a lovely and most charming sight. The +Prince of Wales, and the Duke of York and his bride, with the +Duke of Clarence, sat immediately under us. I saw the duchess +now and then, and saw that she has a very sensible and marked +countenance, but no beauty. + + +Page 437 +She was extremely well received by the people, and smiled at in +the most pleasing manner by her opposite new relations. + +At night I once more attended the queen, and it seemed as strange +to me as if I had never done it before. The next day, Thursday, +the queen gave up the Drawing-room, on account of a hurt on her +foot. I had the honour of another very long conference in the +White closet, in which I finished the account of my late travels, +and during which, though she was very gracious, she was far less +communicative than heretofore, saying little herself, and making +me talk almost all. When I attended the queen again to-night, +the strangeness was so entirely worn away, that it seemed to me +as if I had never left my office! And so again on Friday morning + +At noon the royal family set off for Windsor. + +The queen graciously sent for me before she went, to bid me good- +bye, and condescended to thank me for my little services. I +would have offered repetition with all my heart, but I felt my +frame unequal to such business. Indeed I was half dead with only +two days' and nights' exertion. 'Tis amazing how I ever went +through all that is passed. + + + MR. HASTINGS'S DEFENCE. + + +Feb. 13.-I found a note from Mrs. Schwellenberg, with an offer of +a ticket for Mr. Hastings's trial, the next day, if I wished to +go to it. I did wish it exceedingly, no public subject having +ever so deeply interested me; but I could not recollect any party +I could join, and therefore I proposed to Captain Phillips to +call on his Court friend, and lay before her my difficulty. He +readily declared he would do more, for he would frankly ask her +for a ticket for himself, and stay another day, merely to +accompany me. You know well the kind pleasure and zeal with +which he is always ready to discover and propose expedients in +distress. His visit prospered, and we went to Westminster Hall +together. + +All the managers attended at the opening, but the attendance of +all others was cruelly slack. To hear the attack, the people +came in crowds; to hear the defence, they scarcely came in t`ete- +`a-t`etes! 'Tis barbarous there should be so much more pleasure +given by the recital of guilt than by the vindication of +innocence! + +Mr. Law(354) spoke the whole time; he made a general harangue + + +Page 438 + +in answer to the opening general harangue of Mr. Burke, and he +spoke many things that brought forward conviction in favour of +Mr. Hastings; but he was terrified exceedingly, and this timidity +Induced him to so frequently beg quarter from his antagonists, +both for any blunders and any deficiencies, that I felt angry +with even modest egotism, when I considered that it was rather +his place to come forward with the shield and armour of truth, +undaunted, and to have defied, rather than deprecated, the force +of talents when without such support. + +None of the managers quitted their box, and I am uncertain +whether or not any of them saw me. Mr. Windham, in particular, I +feel satisfied either saw me not, or was so circumstanced, as +manager, that he could not come to speak with me; for else, this +my first appearance from the parental roof under which he has so +largely contributed to replace me would have been the last time +for his dropping my acquaintance. Mr. Sheridan I have no longer +any ambition to be noticed by; and Mr. Burke, at this place, I am +afraid I have already displeased, so unavoidably cold and frigid +did I feel myself when he came here to me formerly. Anywhere +else, I should bound forward to meet him, with respect, and +affection, and gratitude. + +In the evening I went to the queen's house. I found Mrs, +Schwellenberg, who instantly admitted me, at cards with Mr. de +Luc. Her reception was perfectly kind; and when I would have +given up the tickets, she told me they were the queen's, who +desired, if I wished it, I would keep them for the season. This +was a pleasant hearing upon every account, and I came away in +high satisfaction. + +A few days after, I went again to the trial, and took another +captain for my esquire--my good and ever-affectionate James. The +Hall was still more empty, both of Lords and Commons, and of +ladies too, than the first day of this session. I am quite +shocked at the little desire there appears to hear Mr. Hastings's +defence. + + + DIVERSE VIEWS. + +When the managers entered, James presently said, "Here's Mr. +Windham coming to speak to you." And he broke from the +procession, as it was descending to its cell, to give me that +pleasure. + +His inquiries about my health were not, as he said, merely common +inquiries, but, without any other answer to them than a bow, I +interrupted their course by quickly saying, "You + +Page 439 + + +have been excursioning and travelling all the world o'er since I +saw you last." + +He paid me in my own coin with only a bow, hastily going back to +myself: "But your tour," he cried, "to the west, after all that-" + +I saw what was following, and, again abruptly stopping him, "But +here you are returned," I cried, "to all your old labours and +toils again." + +"No, no," cried he, half laughing, "not labours and toils always; +they are growing into pleasures now." + +"That's being very good, very liberal, indeed," quoth I, +supposing him to mean hearing the defence made the pleasure but +he stared at me with so little concurrence, that, soon +understanding he only meant bringing their charges home to the +confusion of the culprit, I stared again a little while, and then +said, "You sometimes accuse me of being ambiguous; I think you +seem so yourself, now!" + +"To nobody but you," cried he, with a rather reproachful accent. +"O, now," cried I, "you are not ambiguous, and I am all the less +pleased." + +"People," cried James, bonnement, "don't like to be convinced." + +"Mr. Hastings," said Mr. Windham, "does not convince, he +does not bring conviction home." + +"Not to you," quoth I, returning his accent pretty fully, + +"Why, true," answered he very candidly; "there may be something +in that." + +"How is it all to be?" cried James. "Is the defence to go on +long, and are they to have any evidence; or how?" + +"We don't know this part of the business," said Mr. Windham, +smiling a little at such an upright downright question "it is Mr. +Hastings's affair now to settle it: however, I understand he +means to answer charge after charge as they were brought against +him, first by speeches, then by evidence: however, this is all +conjecture." + + + + MR. LAW'S SPEECH DISCUSSED. + +We then spoke of Mr. Law, Mr. Hastings's first counsel, and I +expressed some dissatisfaction that such attackers should not +have had abler and more equal opponents. + + +Page 440 + +"But do you not think Mr. Law spoke well?" cried he, "clear, +forcible? " + +"Not forcible," cried I. I would not say not clear. + +"He was frightened," said Mr. Windham, "he might not do himself +justice. I have heard him elsewhere, and been very well +satisfied with him; but he looked pale and alarmed, and his voice +trembled." + +"I was very well content with his materials," quoth I, "which I +thought much better than the use he made of them; and once or +twice, he made an opening that, with a very little skill, might +most adroitly and admirably have raised a laugh against you all." + +He looked a little askew, I must own, but he could not help +smiling. . . I gave him an instance in point, which -was the +reverse given by Mr. Law to the picture drawn by Mr. Burke of +Tamerlane, in which he said those virtues and noble qualities +bestowed upon him by the honourable manager were nowhere to be +found but on the British stage. + +Now this, seriously, with a very little ingenuity, might have +placed Mr. Burke at the head of a company of comedians. This +last notion I did not speak, however; but enough was understood, +and Mr. Windham looked straight away from me, without answering; +nevertheless, his profile, which he left me, showed much more +disposition to laugh than to be incensed. + +Therefore I proceeded ; pointing out another lost opportunity +that, well saved, might have proved happily ridiculous against +them; and this was Mr. Law's description of the real state of +India, even from its first discovery by Alexander, opposed to Mr. +Burke's flourishing representation, of its golden age, its lambs +and tigers associating, etc. + +Still he looked askew ; but I believe he is truth itself, for he +offered no defence, though, of course, he would not enter into +the attack. And surely at this critical period I must not spare +pointing out all he will submit to hear, on the side of a man of +whose innocence I am so fully persuaded. + +"I must own, however," continued I, finding him still attentive, +though silent, "Mr. Law provoked me in one point--his apologies +for his own demerits. Why should he contribute his humble mite +to your triumphs? and how little was it his place to extol your +superior talents, as if you were not self-sufficient enough +already, without his aid." + +'Unless you had heard the speech of Mr. Law, you can hardly + + +Page 441 + +imagine with what timid flattery he mixed every exertion he +ventured to make in behalf of his client ; and I could not +forbear this little observation, because I had taken notice with +what haughty derision the managers had perceived the fears of +their importance, which were felt even by the very counsel of +their prisoner. Mr. Windham, too, who himself never looks either +insolent or deriding, must be sure what I meant for his +associates could not include himself. He did not, however, +perfectly welcome the remark; he still only gave me his profile, +and said not a word,-so I went on. Mr. Hastings little thinks +what a pleader I am become in his cause, against one of his most +powerful adversaries. + +"There was still another thing," quoth I, "in which I felt vexed +with Mr. Law: how could he be so weak as to beg quarter from you, +and to humbly hope that, if any mistake, any blunder, any +improvident word escaped him, you would have the indulgence to +spare your ridicule? O yes, to be sure! when I took notice at the +moment of his supplication, and before any error committed, that +every muscle of every face, amongst you was at work from the bare +suggestion." + +He could not even pretend to look grave now, but, turning frankly +towards me, said, "Why, Mr. Fox most justly observed upon that +petition, that, if any man makes a blunder, a mistake, 'tis very +well to apologize: but it was singular to hear a man gravely +preparing for his blunders and mistakes, and wanting to make +terms for them beforehand." + +"I like him for this," cried James again bonnement, "that he +seems so much interested for his client." + +"Will you give me leave to inquire," quoth I, "one thing? You +know my old knack of asking strange questions." + +He only bowed--archly enough, I assure you. +" + +Did I fancy, or was it fact, that you were a flapper to Mr. +Burke, when Mr. Law charged him with disingenuity, in not having +recanted the accusation concerning Devy Sing? He appeared to me +in much perturbation, and I thought by his see-saw he was going +to interrupt the speech: did you prevent him?" + +"No, no," he answered, "I did not: I did not think him in any +danger." + +He rubbed his cheek, though, as he spoke, as if he did not much +like that circumstance. O that Mr. Burke--so great, so noble a +creature--can in this point thus have been warped. + +Page 442 + + +MR. WINDHAM ON THE FRENCH NATIONAL ASSEMBLY. + +I ran off to another scene, and inquired how he had been amused +abroad, and, in particular, at the National Assembly? + +"Indeed," he answered, "it was extremely curious for a short +time; but there is little variety in it, and therefore it will +not do long." + +I was in a humour to be just as sincere here, as about the trial; +so you democrats must expect no better. + +"I understand," quoth I, "there is a great dearth of abilities in +this new Assembly; how then should there be any variety?" + +"No, I cannot say that: they do not want abilities; but they have +no opportunity to make their way." + +"O!" quoth I, shaking my wise head, "abilities, real abilities, +make their own way." + +"Why, that's true; but, in that Assembly, the noise, the tumult-- +" + +"Abilities," again quoth I, " "have power to quell noise and +tumult." + +"Certainly, in general; but not in France. These new legislative +members are so solicitous to speak, so anxious to be heard, that +they prefer uttering any tautology to listening to others; and +when once they have begun, they go on with what speed they may, +and without selection, rather than stop. They see so many ready +to seize their first pause, they know they have so little chance +of a second hearing, that I never entered the Assembly without +being reminded of the famous old story of the man who patiently +bore hearing a tedious harangue, by saying the whole time to +himself, 'Well, well, 'tis his turn now; but let him beware how +he sneezes."' + + + + "A BARBAROUS BUSINESS!" + +James now again asked some question of their intentions with +regard to the progress of the trial. He answered, "We have +nothing to do with its present state. We leave Mr. Hastings now +to himself, and his own set. Let him keep to his cause, and he +may say what he will. We do not mean to interfere, nor avail +ourselves of our privileges." + +Mr. Hastings was just entered; I looked down at him, and saw his +half-motion to kneel; I could not bear it, and, turning suddenly +to my neighbour, "O, Mr. Windham," I cried, "after + + +Page 443 + +all, 'tis, indeed, a barbarous business!" This was rather +further than I meant to go, for I said it with serious +earnestness; but it was surprised from me by the emotion always +excited at sight of that unmerited humiliation. + +He looked full at me upon this solemn attack, and with a look of +chagrin amounting to displeasure, saying, "It is a barbarous +business we have had to go through." + +I did not attempt to answer this, for, except through the medium +of sport and raillery, I have certainly no claim upon his +patience. But, in another moment, in a tone very flattering, he +said, "I do not understand, nor can any way imagine, how you can +have been thus perverted!" + +"No, no!" quoth I, "it is you who are perverted!" + +Here Mr. Law began his second oration, and Mr. Windham ran down +to his cell. I fancy this was not exactly the conversation he +expected upon my first enlargement. However, though it would +very seriously grieve me to hurt or offend him, I cannot refuse +my own veracity, nor Mr. Hastings's injuries, the utterance of +what I think truth. + +Mr. Law was far more animated and less frightened, and acquitted +himself so as to merit almost as much `eloge as, in my opinion, +he had merited censure at the opening. It was all in answer to +Mr. Burke's general exordium and attack. + + + DEATH OF SIR JOSHUA REYNOLDS. + +Upon the day of Sir Joshua Reynolds's death(355) I was in my bed, +with two blisters, and I did not hear of it till two days after. +I shall enter nothing upon this Subject here; our current letters +mentioned the particulars, and I am not desirous to retrace them. +His loss is as universally felt as his merit is universally +acknowledged, and, joined to all public motives, I had myself +private ones of regret that cannot subside. He was always +peculiarly kind to me, and he had worked at my deliverance from a +life he conceived too laborious for me as if I had been his own +daughter; yet, from the time of my coming forth, I only twice saw +him. I had not recovered strength for visiting before he was +past receiving me. I grieve inexpressibly never to have been +able to make him the small tribute of thanks for his most kind +exertions in my cause. I little thought the second time I saw +him would be my last opportunity, and my intention was to wait +some favourable opening. + + +Page 444 + +Miss Palmer is left heiress,(356) and her unabating attendance +upon her inestimable uncle in his sickroom makes everybody +content with her great acquisition. I am sure she loved and +admired him with all the warmth of her warm heart. I wrote her a +few lines of condolence, and she has sent me a very kind answer. +She went immediately to the Burkes, with whom she will chiefly, I +fancy, associate. + +March.-Sad for the loss of Sir Joshua, and all of us ill +ourselves, we began this month. Upon its 3rd day was his +funeral.(357) My dear father could not attend; but Charles was +invited and went. All the Royal Academy, professors and +students, and all the Literary club, attended as family, +mourners. Mr. Burke, Mr. Malone, and Mr. Metcalf, are executors. +Miss Palmer has spared nothing, either in thought or expense, +that could render the last honours splendid and grateful. It was +a very melancholy day to us; though it had the alleviation and +softening of a letter from our dear Charlotte, promising to +arrive the next day. + + + MR. WINDHAM TWITTED ON His LACK OF COMPASSION. + +April 23.--I thought myself equal to again going to the +trial, which recommenced, after six or seven weeks' cessation, on +account of the judges going the circuit. Sarah went with me: I +am now so known in the chamberlain's box that the door-keepers +and attendants make way for me without looking at my ticket. And +to be sure, the managers on one side, and Mr. Hastings's friends +and counsel on the other, must pretty well have my face by heart. + I have the faces of all them, most certainly, in full +mental possession; and the figures of many whose names I know not +are so familiar to my eyes, that should I chance hereafter to +meet them, I shall be apt to take them for old acquaintances. + +There was again a full appearance of managers to accompany + +Page 445 + +Mr. Burke in his entry; and again Mr. Windham quitted the +procession, as it descended to the box, and filed off to speak +with me. + +He made the most earnest inquiries after the health of my dearest +father, as well as after my own. He has all the semblance of +real regard and friendship for us, and I am given to believe he +wears no semblance that has not a real and sympathetic substance +couched beneath. His manner instantly revived in my mind my +intent not to risk, with him, the loss of making those poor +acknowledgments for his kindness, that I so much regret omitting +to Sir Joshua Reynolds. In return to his inquiries about my +renovating health, I answered that I had again been very ill +since I saw him last, and added, "Indeed, I believe I did not +come away too soon." + +" And now," cried I, "I cannot resist giving myself the pleasure +of making my acknowledgments for what I owe to you upon this +subject. I have been, indeed, very much obliged, by various +things that have come round to me, both to you and Sir Joshua.--O +what a loss is that!" + +"What a wretched loss!" cried he: and we then united our warmest +suffrages in his favour, with our deepest regret for our +deprivation. Here I observed poor Mr. Hastings was brought in. +I saw he was fixing him. + +"And can you," I cried, fixing him, "can you have so much +compassion for one captive, and still have none for another?" + +"Have you, then, still," cried he, "the same sentiments?" + +"Have you," cried I, "heard all thus far of the defence, and are +you still unmoved?" + +"Unmoved?" cried he, emphatically; "shall I be moved by a lion? +You see him there in a cage, and pity him; look back to when you +might have seen him with a lamb in his claws!" + +I could only look dismayed for a moment. "But, at least," I +said, "I hope what I hear is not true, though I now grow afraid +to ask?" + +"If it is anything about me," he answered, "it is certainly not +true." + +"I am extremely glad, indeed," cried I, "for it has been buzzed +about in the world that you were to draw up the final charge. +This I thought most cruel of all; You, who have held back all +this time--" + +"Yes! pretty completely," interrupted he, laughing. + + +Page 446 + +"No, not completely," I continued; "but Yet YOU have made no +direct formal speech, nor have come forward in any positive and +formidable manner; therefore, as we have now heard all the +others, and--almost enough--" + +I was obliged to stop a moment, to see how this adventurous +plainness was taken; and he really, though my manner showed me +only rallying, looked I don't know how, at such unexampled +disrespect towards his brother orators. But I soon went quietly +on: "To come forth now, after all that has passed, with the eclat +of novelty, and,-for the most cruel part of all,--that which +cannot be answered." + +"You think," cried he, "'tis bringing a fresh courser into the +field of battle, just as every other is completely jaded?" + +"I think," cried I, "that I am very generous to wish against what +I should so much wish for, but for other considerations." + +"O, what a flattering way," cried he, "of stating it! however, I +can bear to allow you a little waste of compliments, which you +know so well how to make; but I cannot bear to have you waste +your compassion." + + + A POINT OF CEREMONIAL. + +May.-The 1st of this month I went again to Westminster Hall, with +our cousin Elizabeth. Evidence was brought forward by the +counsel for Mr. Hastings, and Lord Stormont was called upon as a +witness. This produced some curious debating among the Lords, +and with the chancellor. They spoke only for the ears of one +another, as it was merely to settle some ceremonial, whether he +was to be summoned to the common place where the witnesses stood, +or had the claim of a peer to speak in his place, robed. This +latter prevailed: and then we expected his speech; but no, a new +debate ensued, which, as we gathered from the rumour about us, +was that his lordship should have the prayer book, for his oath, +belonging to the House of Peers. Here, also, his dignity was +triumphant, though it cost the whole assembly a full quarter of +an hour; while another prayer book was officially at hand, in the +general post for plebeian witnesses. + +Well! aristocrat as I am, compared with you, I laughed heartily +at all this mummery, and yet it was possibly wise, at this period +of pulling down all law and order, all privilege and +subordination, however frivolous was its appearance. + + +Page 447 +His testimony was highly favourable to Mr. Hastings, with +regard to authenticating the intelligence he had received of an +opening war with France, upon which hung much justification +of the measures Mr. Hastings had pursued for raising supplies. + + + MRS. SCHWELLENBERG AND MLLE. JACOBI. + +Thence I went to the Queen's house, where -I have a most cordial +general invitation from Mrs. Schwellenberg to go by all +opportunities; and there is none so good as after the trial, that +late hour exactly according With her dinner-time. + +She is just as she Was with respect to health; but in all other +respects, how amended! all civility, all obligingness, all +courtesy! and so desirous to have me visit her, that she presses +me to come incessantly. + +During coffee, the princess royal came into the room. She +condescended to profess herself quite glad to see me; and she had +not left the room five minutes before, again returning, she said, +"Mrs. Schwellenberg, I am come to plague you, for I am come to +take away Miss Burney." I give you leave to guess whether this +plagued me. + +May 2.-The following week I again went to Westminster Hall. +Mlle. Jacobi had made a point of accompanying me, that she might +see the show, as James called it to General Burgoyne, and I had +great pleasure in taking her, for she is a most ingenuous and +good creature, though--alas!--by no means the same undaunted, +gay, open character as she appeared at first. Sickness, +confinement, absence from her friends, submission to her +coadjutrix, and laborious watching have much altered her. + +The trial of this day was all written evidence in favour of Mr. +Hastings, and violent quarrelling as to its admissibility on the +part of Mr. Burke. Mr. Windham took his place, during some part +of the controversy, and spoke ably and clearly as to the given +point in dispute, but with the most palpable tremor and internal +struggle. + + +A LONG TALK WITH THE KING AND QUEEN. + +I attended Mlle. Jacobi to the Queen's house, where I dined ; and +great indeed was my pleasure, during coffee, to see the Princess +Elizabeth, who, In the most Pleasing manner + + +Page 448 + +and the highest spirits, came to summon me to the queen. I found +her majesty again with all her sweet daughters but the youngest. +She was gracious and disposed to converse. + +We had a great deal of talk upon public concerns, and she told me +a friend Of mine had spoken very well the day before, and so had +Mr. Burke. She meant Mr. Windham. It was against the new +associates, and in favour of the proclamation.(358) Mr. Burke, +of course, would here come forth in defence of his own +predictions and opinions; but Mr. Windham, who had rather abided +hitherto with Charles Fox, in thinking Mr. Burke too extreme, +well as he loves him personally, was a new convert highly +acceptable. He does not, however, go all lengths with Mr. Burke; +he is only averse to an unconstitutional mode of reform, and to +sanctioning club powers, so as to enable them, as in France, to +overawe the state and senate.(359) + +Soon after, to my infinite joy, the king entered. O, he spoke to +me so kindly!--he congratulated me on the better looks which his +own presence and goodness gave me, repeatedly declaring he had +never seen me in such health. He asked me after my father, and +listened with interest when I mentioned his depression, and told +him that all he had done of late to soothe his retirement and +pain had been making canons to solemn words, and with such +difficulties of composition as, in better health and spirits, +would have rather proved oppressive and perplexing than a relief +to his feelings. + +"I, too," said the king, after a very serious pause, "have myself +sometimes found, when ill or disturbed, that some grave and even +difficult employment for my thoughts has tended more to compose +me than any of the supposed usual relaxations." + +He also condescended to ask after little Norbury, taking off the +eager little fellow while he spoke, and his earnest manner of +delivery. He then Inquired about my friends Mr. and Mrs. Locke, +and their expectations of the return of + + +Page 449 +William. He inquired how I live, whom I saw, what sort of +neighbours I had in the college, and many other particulars, that +seemed to desire to know how I went on, and whether I was +comfortable. His looks, I am sure, said so, and most sweetly and +kindly. + +They kept me till they went to the Japan room, where they meet +the officers and ladies who attend them in public. They were +going to the Ancient Music. + +This dear king, nobly unsuspicious where left to himself, and +where he has met no doubleness, spoke also very freely of some +political matters before me--of the new association in +particular. It gratified me highly. + + + MADAME DE GENLIS: A WOEFUL CHANGE. + +I got home to dinner to meet Mrs. and Miss Mary Young,(360) who +are in town for a few weeks. Miss Mary is sensible, and quick, +and agreeable. + +They give a very unpleasant account of Madame de Genlis, or de +Sillery, or Brulard, as she is now called.(361) They say she has +established herself at Bury, in their neighbourhood, with Mlle. +la Princesse d'Orleans and Pamela, and a Circe, and another + +Page 450 + +young girl under her care. They have taken a house, the master +of which always dines with them, though Mrs. Young says he is +such a low man he should not dine with her daughter. They form +twenty with themselves and household. They keep a botanist, a +chemist, and a natural historian always with them. These are +supposed to have been common servants of the Duke of Orleans in +former days, as they always walk behind the ladies when abroad; +but, to make amends in the new equalising style, they all dine +together at home. They visit at no house but Sir Thomas Gage's, +where they carry their harps, and frequently have music. They +have been to Bury ball, and danced all night Mlle. d'Orl`eans +with anybody, known or unknown to Madame Brulard. + +What a woeful change from that elegant, amiable, high-bred Madame +de Genlis I knew six years ago! the apparent pattern of female +perfection in manners, conversation, and delicacy. + +There are innumerable democrats assembled in Suffolk; among them +the famous Tom Paine, who herds with all the farmers that will +receive him, and there propagates his pernicious doctrines. + + + THE WEEPING BEAUTY AGAIN. + +May 25.-This morning I went to a very fine public breakfast, +given by Mrs. Montagu. . . . The crowd of company was such that +we could only slowly make way, in any part. There could not be +fewer than four or five hundred people. It was like a full +Ranelagh by daylight. + +We now met Mrs. Porteus, and who should be with her but the poor +pretty S.S., whom so long I had not seen, and who has now lately +been finally given up by her long-sought and very injurious +lover, Dr. Vyse? She is sadly faded, and looked disturbed and +unhappy; but still beautiful, though no longer blooming; and +still affectionate, though absent and evidently absorbed. We had +a little chat together about the Thrales. In mentioning our +former intimacy with them, "Ah, those," she cried, "were happy +times!" and her eyes glistened. poor thing! hers has been a +lamentable story!---Imprudence and vanity have rarely been mixed +with so much sweetness, and good-humour, and candour, and +followed with more reproach and ill success. We agreed to renew +acquaintance next winter; at present she will be little more in +town. + + +Page 451 + + MADAME DE LA FITE AND MRS. HASTINGS. + +We went then round the rooms, which were well worth examination +and admiration ; and we met friends and acquaintance every other +step. . . . While we were examining the noble pillars in the new +room, I heard an exclamation of "Est-ce possible? suis-je si +heureuse?--Est-ce ma ch`ere Mlle. Beurni que je vois?"(362) + + +Need I say this was Madame de la, Fite ? or Mrs. Fitt, as, since +the French Revolution, of which she is a favourer, she is called +by some of the household to which I belonged. + +I spoke so as to moderate this rapture into something less +calling for attention, which her voice and manner were engaging, +not unwillingly. I had not seen her since my retreat, and, if +she had been less pompous, I should have been glad of the +meeting. She kept my hand close grasped between both her own, +(though her fan nipped one of my fingers till I was ready to make +faces,) with a most resolute empressement, to the great +inconvenience of those who wanted to pass, for we were at one of +the entrances into the great new room; and how long she might +have continued this fond detention I know not, if a lady, whose +appearance vied for show and parade with Madame de la Fite's +manner and words, had not called out aloud, "I am extremely happy +indeed to see Miss Burney!" + +This was Mrs. Hastings; and to answer her I was let loose. + +I have always been very sorry that Mrs. Hastings, who is a +pleasing, lively, and well-bred woman, with attractive manners +and attentions to those she wishes to oblige, should have an +indiscretion so peculiarly unsuited to her situation, as to aim +always at being the most conspicuous figure wherever she appears. +Her dress now was like that of an Indian princess, according to +our ideas of such ladies, and so much the most splendid, from its +ornaments, and style, and fashion, though chiefly of muslin, that +everybody else looked under-dressed in her presence. It is for +Mr. Hastings I am sorry when I see this inconsiderate vanity, in +a woman who would so much better manifest her sensibility of his +present hard disgrace, by a modest and quiet appearance and +demeanour. + +Page 452 + THE IMPETUOUS ORATOR. + +Wednesday, May 30.-To-day I went to Westminster Hall again, to +hear the evidence of Mr. Markham, which is so pleasantly in +favour of Mr. Hastings, that all the friends of that persecuted +man are gratified by all he deposes. Miss Ord accompanied me. + +When the impetuous and ungovernable Mr. Burke was Interrupting +the chancellor, in order to browbeat Mr. Hastings's evidence, Mr. +Windham involuntarily exclaimed, "Hist!" just as if he had been +at his elbow, and playing the kind part of a flapper. I could +not help laughing, and half joining him: he echoed back my laugh, +and with a good humour that took in all its meaning and +acknowledged its sympathy with regard to Mr. Burke, nevertheless, +he spoke not a word. Afterwards, however, he spoke when I had +far rather he had been silent, for he went to the assistance of +Mr. Burke. + +Michael Angelo Taylor spoke also; but I observed with pleasure a +distinction the chancellor made to Mr. Windham; for, when he +answered their arguments, he singled him out as the person who +had said what alone he meant upon that question to notice, by +saying, "The honourable manager who spoke second." + +But I am sure--I think so, at least--Mr. Windham as little +approves the violence of Mr. Burke in this trial as I do myself. +I see him evidently and frequently suffer great pain and +mortification when he is so obstreperous. + + + BOSWELL'S MIMICRY OF DR. JOHNSON. + +June 1.-This day had been long engaged for breakfasting with Mrs. +Dickenson and dining with Mrs. Ord. The breakfast guests were +Mr. Langton, Mr. Foote, Mr. Dickenson, jun., a cousin, and a very +agreeable and pleasing man; Lady Herries, Miss Dickenson, another +cousin, and Mr. Boswell. + +This last was the object of the morning. I felt a strong +sensation of that displeasure which his loquacious communications +of every weakness and infirmity of the first and greatest good +man of these times has awakened in me, at his first sight; and, +though his address to me was courteous in the extreme, and he +made a point of sitting next me, I felt an indignant disposition +to a nearly forbidding reserve and silence. How + + +Page 453 + +many starts of passion and prejudice has he blackened into +record, that else might have sunk, for ever forgotten, under the +preponderance of weightier virtues and excellences! + +Angry, however, as I have long been with him, he soon insensibly +conquered, though he did not soften me: there is so little of +ill-design or ill-nature in him, he is so open and forgiving for +all that is said in return, that he soon forced me to consider +him in a less serious light, and change my resentment against his +treachery into something like commiseration of his levity ; and +before we parted we became good friends. There is no resisting +great good humour, be what will in the opposite scale. + +He entertained us all as if hired for that purpose, telling +stories of Dr. Johnson, and acting them with incessant +buffoonery. I told him frankly that, if he turned him into +ridicule by caricature, I should fly the premises: he assured me +he would not, and indeed his imitations, though comic to excess, +were so far from caricature that he omitted a thousand +gesticulations which I distinctly remember. + +Mr. Langton told some stories himself in imitation of Dr. +johnson; but they became him less than Mr. Boswell, and only +reminded me of what Dr. Johnson himself once said to me--"Every +man has, some time in his life, an ambition to be a wag." If Mr. +Langton had repeated anything from his truly great friend +quietly, it would far better have accorded with his own serious +and respectable character. + + + THE KING'S BIRTHDAY. + +June 4.-The birthday of our truly good king. + +As his majesty had himself given me, when I saw him after the +queen's birthday, an implied reproach for not presenting myself +at the palace that day, I determined not to incur a similar +censure on this, especially as I hold my admission on such a +national festival as a real happiness, as well as honour, when it +is to see themselves. + +How different was my attire from every other such occasion the +five preceding years! It was a mere simple dressed undress, +without feathers, flowers, hoop, or furbelows. + +When I alighted at the porter's lodge I was stopped from crossing +the court-yard by seeing the king with his three sons, the Prince +of Wales, Duke of York, and Duke of Clarence, who were standing +there after alighting from their horses, to + + +Page 454 +gratify the people who encircled the iron rails. It was a +pleasant and goodly sight, and I rejoiced in such a detention. + +I had a terrible difficulty to find a friend who would make known +to her majesty that I was come to pay my devoirs. At length, +while watching in the passages to and fro, I heard a step upon +the princesses' stairs, and, venturing forward, I encountered the +Princess Elizabeth. I paid my respectful congratulations on the +day, which she most pleasantly received, and I intimated my great +desire to see her majesty. I am Sure the amiable princess +communicated my petition, for Mr, de Luc came out in a few +minutes and ushered me into the royal presence. + +The queen was in her state dressing-room, her head attired for +the Drawing-room superbly; but her Court-dress, as usual, +remaining to be put on at St. James's. She had already received +all her early complimenters, and was prepared to go to St. +James's: the princess royal was seated by her side, and all the +other princesses, except the Princess Amelia, were in the room, +with the Duchess of York. Mr. de Luc, Mrs. Schwellenberg, Madame +de la Fite, and Miss Goldsworthy were in the background. + +The queen smiled upon me most graciously, and every princess came +up separately to speak with me. I thanked her majesty warmly for +admitting me upon such an occasion, "O!" cried she, "I resolved +to see you the moment I knew you were here." + +She then inquired when I went into Norfolk, and conversed upon my +summer plans, etc., with more of her original sweetness of manner +than I have seen since my resignation. What pleasure this gave +me ! and what pleasure did I feel in being kept by her till the +further door opened, and the king entered, accompanied by the +Dukes of York and Clarence. + +I motioned to retreat, but calling out, "What, Miss Burney," the +king came up to me and inquired how I did,- and began talking to +me so pleasantly, so gaily, so kindly even, that I had the +satisfaction of remaining and of gathering courage to utter my +good wishes and warm fervent prayers for this day. He deigned to +hear me very benignly; or make believe he did, for I did not make +my harangue very audibly; but he must be sure of its purport. + +He said I was grown "quite fat" since he had seen me, and +appealed to the Duke of York: he protested my arm was half as big +again as heretofore, and then he measured it with his + + +Page 455 +spread thumbs and forefingers; and the whole of his manner showed +his perfect approbation of the step I had taken, of presenting +myself in the royal presence on this auspicious day. + +The queen soon after walked up to me, and asked if I should like +to see the ball at night. I certainly should much like to have +seen them "in all their glory," after seeing them thus in all +their kindness, as well as to have been present at the first +public appearance at Court of the Princess Sophia : but I had no +means to get from and to Chelsea so late at night, and was, +therefore, forced to excuse myself, and decline her gracious +proposition of giving me tickets. + + + MR. HASTINGS'S SPEECH. + +Two days after, I went again to Westminster Hall with Miss Ord. +Her good mother has a ticket for the Duke of Newcastle's box, in +which she was seated. This -day's business consisted of +examining witnesses: it was meant for the last meeting. during +this session - but when it was over, Mr. Hastings arose and +addressed the Lords in a most noble and pathetic speech, praying +them to continue their attendance till his defence was heard +throughout, or, at least, not to deny him the finishing his +answer to the first charge. + +He spoke, I believe, to the hearts of everybody, except his +prosecutors : the whole assembly seemed evidently affected by +what he urged, upon the unexampled delay of justice In his trial: +silence was never more profound than that which his voice +instantly commanded. Poor unhappy, injured gentleman! How, how +can such men practise cruelty so glaring as is manifested in the +whole conduct of this trial! + +>From hence, as usual, I went to dine at the Queen's house. Mrs. +Schwellenberg took me to the queen after coffee. + +She was writing to Lady Cremorne: she talked with me while she +finished her letter, and then read it to me, exactly as in old +times. She writes with admirable facility, and peculiar elegance +of expression, as well as of handwriting. + +She asked me, somewhat curiously, if I had seen any of my old +friends? I found she meant oppositionists. I told her only at +the trial. She kept me in converse till the dear king came into +the room: he had a grandson of Lord Howe's with him, a little boy +in petticoats, with whom he was playing, and whom he thought +remembered me, I had seen him frequently + + +Page 456 +at Weymouth, and the innocent little fellow insisted upon Making +me his bows and reverences, when told to Make them to the queen. + +The king asked me what had been doing at Westminster Hall? I +repeated poor Mr. Hastings's remonstrance, particularly a part of +it in which he had mentioned that he had already "appealed to his +majesty, whose justice he could not doubt." The king looked a +little queer, but I was glad of the opportunity of putting in a +word for poor Mr. Hastings. + +I went on regularly to the trial till it finished for this year. +Mr. Dallas closed his answer to the first charge, with great +spirit and effect, and seemed to make numerous Proselytes for Mr. +Hastings. + + + A WELL-PRESERVED BEAUTY. + +Thursday, June 18.-After many invitations and regulations, it was +settled I was to accompany my father on a visit of three days to +Mrs. Crewe at Hampstead. The villa at Hampstead is small, but +commodious. We were received by Mrs. Crewe with much kindness. +The room was rather dark, and she had a veil to her bonnet, half +down, and with this aid she looked still in a full blaze of +beauty. I was wholly astonished. Her bloom, perfectly natural, +is as high as that of Augusta Locke when in her best looks, and +the form of her face is so exquisitely perfect that my eye never +Met it without fresh admiration. She is certainly, in my eyes, +the most completely a beauty of any woman I ever saw. I know +not, even now, any female in her first youth who could bear the +comparison. She uglifies everything near her. + +Her son was with her. He is just of age, and looks like her +elder brother! He is a heavy old-looking young Man. He is going +to China with Lord Macartney.(363) + + + THE BURKES. + +My former friend, young Burke, was also there. I was glad to +renew acquaintance with him though I could see some little +strangeness in him: this, however, completely wore off. + + Page 457 + +before the day was over. Soon after entered Mrs. Burke, Miss +F.,(364) a niece, and Mr. Richard Burke, the comic, humorous, +bold, queer brother of the Mr. Burke, who, they said, was soon +coming, with Mr. Elliot. The Burke family were invited by Mrs. +Crewe to meet us. + + +Mrs. Burke was just what I have always seen her, soft, gentle, +reasonable, and obliging; and we met, I think, upon as good terms +as if so many years had not parted us. + +At length Mr. Burke appeared, accompanied by Mr. Elliot. He +shook hands with my father as soon as he had paid his devoirs to +Mrs. Crewe, but he returned my curtsey with so distant a bow, +that I Concluded myself quite lost with him, from my evident +solicitude in poor Mr. Hastings's cause. I could not wish that +less obvious, thinking as I think of it; but I felt infinitely +grieved to lose the favour of a man whom in all other articles, I +so much venerate, and whom, Indeed, I esteem and admire as the +very first man of true genius now living in this Country. + +Mrs. Crewe introduced me to Mr. Elliot: I am Sure we were already +personally known to each other, for I have seen him perpetually +in the managers' box, whence, as often, he must have seen me in +the great chamberlain's. He is a tall, thin young man, plain in +face, dress, and manner, but sensible, and possibly much besides; +he was reserved, however, and little else appeared. + +The moment I was named, to my great joy I found Mr. Burke had not +recollected me. He is more near-sighted, considerably,- than +myself. "Miss Burney!" he now exclaimed, coming forward, and +quite kindly taking my hand, "I did not see you;" and then he +spoke very sweet words of the meeting, and of my looking far +better than "while I was a courtier," and of how he rejoiced to +see that I so little suited that station. "You look," cried he, +"quite renewed, revived, disengaged; you seemed, when I conversed +with you last, at the trial, quite altered; I never saw such a +change for the better as quitting a Court has brought about!" + +Ah! thought I, this is simply a mistake, from reasoning according +to your own feelings. I only seemed altered for the worse at the +trial, because I there looked coldly and distantly, from distaste +and disaffection to your proceedings; and I here + +Page 458 +. + +look changed for the better, only because I here meet You without +the chill of disapprobation, and with the glow of my first +admiration of you and your talents! + + + BURKE'S CONVERSATIONAL POWERS. + +Mrs. Crewe gave him her place, and he sat by me, and entered into +a most animated conversation upon Lord Macartney and his Chinese +expedition, and the two Chinese youths who were to accompany it. +These last he described minutely and spoke of the extent of the +undertaking in high, and perhaps fanciful, terms, but with +allusions and anecdotes intermixed, so full of general +information and brilliant ideas, that I soon felt the whole of my +first enthusiasm return, and with it a sensation of pleasure that +made the day delicious to me. + +After this my father joined us, and politics took- the lead. He +spoke then with an eagerness and a vehemence that instantly +banished the graces, though it redoubled the energies, of his +discourse. "The French Revolution," he said, "which began by +authorising and legalising Injustice, and which by rapid steps +had proceeded to every species of despotism except owning a +despot, was now menacing all the universe and all mankind with +the most violent concussion of principle and order." My father +heartily joined, and I tacitly assented to his doctrines, though +I feared not with his fears. + +One Speech I Must repeat, for it is explanatory of his conduct, +and nobly explanatory. When lie had expatiated upon the present +dangers, even to English liberty and property, from the contagion +of havoc and novelty, he earnestly exclaimed, "This it is that +has made ME an abettor and supporter of kings! Kings are +necessary, and if we would preserve peace and prosperity, we must +preserve THEM we must all put our shoulders to the work! Ay, and +stoutly, too!" + +This subject lasted till dinner. + +At dinner Mr. Burke sat next Mrs. Crewe, and I had the happiness +to be seated next Mr. Burke, and my other neighbour was his +amiable son. + +The dinner, and the dessert when the servants were removed, were +delightful. How I wish my dear Susanna and Fredy could meet this +wonderful man when he is easy, happy, and with people he +cordially likes! But politics, even on his own + + +Page 459 + +side, must always be excluded; his irritability Is so terrible on +that theme that it gives immediately to his face the expression +of a man who is going to defend himself from murderers. I can +give you only a few little detached traits of what passed, as +detail would be endless. + +Charles Fox being mentioned, Mrs. Crewe told us that he had +lately said, upon being shown some passage in Mr. Burke's book +which he had warmly opposed, but which had, in the event, made +its own justification, very candidly, "Well! Burke is right--but +Burke is often right, only he is right too soon." + +"Had Fox seen some things in that book," answered Mr. Burke, "as +soon, he would at this moment, in all probability, be first +minister of this country." + +"What!" cried Mrs. Crewe, "with Pitt?--No!--no!--Pitt won't go +out, and Charles Fox will never make a coalition with Pitt." + +"And why not?" said Mr. Burke, dryly; "why not this coalition as +well as other coalitions?" + +Nobody tried to answer this. + +"Charles Fox, however," said Mr. Burke afterwards, "can never +internally like the French Revolution. He is entangled; but, in +himself, if he should find no other objection to it, he has at +least too much taste for such a revolution." + +Mr. Elliot related that he had lately been in a company of some +of the first and most distinguished men of the French nation, now +fugitives here, and had asked them some questions about the new +French ministry; they had answered that they knew them not even +by name till now! "Think," cried he, "what a ministry that must +be! Suppose a new administration formed here of Englishmen of +whom we had never before heard the names! what statesmen they +must be! how prepared and fitted for government! To begin by +being at the helm!" + +Mr. Richard Burke related, very comically, various censures cast +upon his brother, accusing him of being the friend of despots, +and the abettor of slavery, because he had been shocked at the +imprisonment of the king of France, and was anxious to preserve +our own limited monarchy in the same state in which it so long +had flourished. + +Mr. Burke looked half alarmed at his brother's opening, but, + + +Page 460 + +when he had finished, he very good-humouredly poured out a glass +of wine, and, turning to me, said, "Come then--here's slavery for +ever!" + +This was well understood, and echoed round the table with hearty +laughter. + + +"This would do for you completely, Mr. Burke," said Mrs. Crewe, +"if it could get into a newspaper! Mr. Burke, they would say, +has now spoken out; the truth has come to light unguardedly, and +his real defection from the cause Of true liberty is +acknowledged. I should like to draw up the paragraph!" + +"And add," said Mr. Burke, "the toast was addressed to Miss +Burney, in order to pay court to the queen!" + +This sport went on till, upon Mr. Elliot's again mentioning +France and the rising jacobins, Mr. Richard Burke loudly gave a +new toast--"Come!" cried he, "here's confusion to Confusion!" + +Mr. Windham, who Was gone into Norfolk for the summer, was +frequently mentioned, and always with praise. Mr. Burke, upon +Mr. Elliot's saying something of his being very thin, warmly +exclaimed, "He is just as he should be! If I were Windham this +minute, I Should not wish to be thinner, nor fatter, nor taller, +nor shorter, nor any way, nor in anything, altered." + +Some time after, speaking of former days, you may believe I was +struck enough to hear Mr. Burke say to Mrs. Crewe, "I wish you +had known Mrs. Delany! She was a pattern of a perfect fine lady, +a real fine lady, of other days! Her manners were faultless; her +deportment was all elegance, her speech was all sweetness, and +her air and address all dignity. I always looked up to her as +the model of an accomplished woman of former times." + +Do you think I heard such a testimony to my most revered and +beloved departed friend unmoved? + +Afterwards, still to Mrs. Crewe, he proceeded to say, she had +been married to Mr. Wycherley, the author.(365) There I ventured +to interrupt him, and tell him I fancied that must he some + + Page 461 + +great mistake, as I had been well acquainted with her history +from her own mouth. He seemed to have heard it from some good +authority; but I could by no means accede my belief, as her real +life and memoirs had been so long in my hands, +written by herself to a certain period, and, for some way, +continued by me. This, however, I did not mention. + + + A WILD IRISH GIRL. + +When we left the dining-parlour to the gentlemen, Miss F- seized +my arm, without the smallest previous speech, and, with a +prodigious Irish brogue, said "Miss Burney, I am so glad you +can't think to have this favourable opportunity of making an +intimacy with you! I have longed to know you ever since I became +rational!" + +I was glad, too, that nobody heard her! She made me walk off +with her in the garden, whither we had adjourned for a stroll, at +a full gallop, leaning upon my arm, and putting her face close to +mine, and sputtering at every word from excessive eagerness. + +"I have the honour to know some of your relations in Ireland," +she continued; "that is, if they an't yours, which they are very +sorry for, they are your sister's, which is almost the same +thing. Mr. Shirley first lent me 'Cecilia,' and he was so +delighted to hear my remarks! Mrs. Shirley's a most beautiful +creature; she's grown so large and so big! and all her daughters +are beautiful; so is all the family. I never saw Captain +Phillips, but I dare say he's beautiful." + + She is quite a wild Irish girl. Presently she talked of Miss +Palmer. "O, she loves you!" she cried; "she says she saw you +last Sunday, and she never was so happy in her life. She said +you looked sadly." + +This Miss F- is a handsome girl, and seems very good humoured. I +imagine her but just imported, and I doubt not but the +soft-mannercd, and well-bred, and quiet Mrs. Burke will soon +subdue this exuberance of loquacity. + +I gathered afterwards from Mrs. Crewe, that my curious new +acquaintance made innumerable inquiries concerning my employment +and office under the queen. I find many people much disturbed to +know whether I had the place of the Duchess of Ancastor, on one +side, or of a chamber-maid, on the other. Truth is apt to lie +between conjectures. + + +Page 462 + + ERSKINE's EGOTISM. + +The party returned with two very singular additions to its +number--Lord Loughborough,(366) and Mr. and Mrs. Erskine.(367) +They have villas at Hampstead, and were met in the walk; Mr. +Erskine else would not, probably, have desired to meet Mr. Burke, +who openly in the House of Commons asked him if he knew what +friendship meant, when he pretended to call him, Mr. Burke, his +friend? + +There was an evident disunion of the cordiality of the party from +this time. My father, Mr. Richard Burke, his nephew, and Mr. +Elliot entered into some general discourse; Mr. + +Page 463 + +Burke took up a volume Of Boileau, and read aloud, though to +himself, and with a pleasure that soon made him seem to forget +all intruders; Lord Loughborough joined Mrs. Burke and Mr. +Erskine, seating himself next to Mrs. Crewe, engrossed her +entirely, yet talked loud enough for all to hear who were not +engaged themselves. + +For me, I sat next Mrs. Erskine, who seems much a woman +of the world, for she spoke with me just as freely, and readily, +and easily as if we had been old friends. + +Mr. Erskine enumerated all his avocations to Mrs. Crewe, and, +amongst others, mentioned, very calmly, having to plead against +Mr. Crewe upon a manor business in Cheshire. Mrs. Crewe hastily +and alarmed interrupted him, to inquire what he meant, and what +might ensue to Mr. Crewe? O, nothing but the loss of the +lordship upon that spot," he coolly answered; "but I don't know +that it will be given against him: I only know I shall have three +hundred Pounds for it." + +Mrs. Crewe looked thoughtful; and Mr. Erskine then began to speak +of the new Association for Reform, by the friends of the people, +headed by Messrs. Grey and Sheridan, and sustained by Mr. Fox, +and openly opposed by Mr. Windham, as well as Mr. Burke. He said +much of the use they had made of his name, though he had never +yet been to the society; and I began to understand that he meant +to disavow it; but presently he added, "I don't know whether I +shall ever attend--I have so much to do--so little time: however, +the people must be supported."(368) + +"PRAY, will you tell me," said Mrs. Crewe, drily, "what you mean +by the people? I never knew." + +He looked surprised, but evaded any answer and soon after took +his leave, with his wife, who seems by no means to admire him as +much as he admires himself, if I may judge by short odd speeches +which dropped from her. The eminence of Mr. Erskine seems all +for public life; in private, his excessive egotisms undo him. + + +Lord Loughborough instantly took his seat next to Mrs. Crewe; and +presently related a speech which Mr. Erskine has lately made at +some public meeting, and which he opened to this effect:--"As to +me, gentlemen, I have some title to give my opinions freely. +Would you know what my title is derived from? I challenge any +man to inquire! If he ask my + +Page 464 + +birth,--its genealogy may dispute with kings! If my wealth, it +is all for which I have time to hold out my hand! If my +talents,--No! of those, gentlemen, I leave you to judge for +yourselves."(369) + + + CAEN-WOOD. + +June 22.-Mrs. Crewe took my father and myself to see the +Hampstead lions. We went to Caen-wood, to see the house and +pictures. Poor Lord Mansfield(370) has not been downstairs, the +housekeeper told us, for the last four years; yet she asserts he +is by no means superannuated, and frequently sees his very +intimate friends, and seldom refuses to be consulted by any +lawyers. He was particularly connected with my revered Mrs. +Delany, and I felt melancholy upon entering his house to +recollect how often that beloved lady had planned carrying +thither Miss Port and myself, and how often we had been invited +by Miss Murrays, my lord's nieces. I asked after those ladies, +and left them my respects. I heard they were up-stairs with Lord +Mansfield, whom they never left. + +Many things in this house were interesting, because historical +but I fancy the pictures, at least, not to have much other +recommendation. A portrait Of Pope, by himself, I thought +extremely curious. It is very much in the style of most of +jervas's own paintings. They told us that, after the burning of +Lord Mansfield's house in town, at the time of Lord G. Gordon's +riots, thousands came to inquire, if this original portrait was +preserved. Luckily it was at Caen-wood. + +We spent a good deal of time in the library,--and saw first +editions of almost all Queen Anne's classics; and lists of +subscribers to Pope's "Iliad," and many such matters, all +enlivening to some corner or other of the memory. + + + AN ADVENTURE WITH MRS. CREWE. + +We next proceeded to the Shakspeare gallery,(371) which I had + + +Page 465 + +never seen. And here we met with an adventure that finished our +morning's excursions. + +There was a lady in the first room, dressed rather singularly, +quite alone, and extremely handsome, who was parading about with +a nosegay in her hand, which she frequently held to her nose, in +a manner that was evidently calculated to attract notice. We +therefore passed on to the inner room, to avoid her. Here we had +but just all taken our stand opposite different pictures, when +she also entered, and, coming pretty close to my father, sniffed +at her flowers with a sort of extatic eagerness, and then let +them fall. My father picked them up, and gravely presented them +to her. She curtsied to the ground in receiving them, and +presently crossed over the room, and,, brushing past Mrs. Crewe, +seated herself immediately by her elbow. Mrs. Crewe, not +admiring this familiarity, moved away, giving her at the same +time a look of dignified distance that was almost petrifying. + +It did not prove so to this lady, who presently followed her to +the next picture, and, sitting as close as she could to where +Mrs. Crewe stood, began singing various quick passages, without +words or connexion. I saw Mrs. Crewe much alarmed, and advanced +to stand by her, meaning to whisper her that we had better leave +the room; and this idea was not checked by seeing that the +flowers were artificial. By the looks we interchanged we soon +mutually said, "This is a mad woman." We feared irritating her by +a sudden flight, but gently retreated, and soon got quietly into +the large room when she bounced up with a great noise, and, +throwing the veil of her bonnet violently back, as if fighting +it, she looked after us, pointing at Mrs. Crewe. + +Seriously frightened, Mrs. Crewe seized my father's arm, and +hurried up two or three steps into a small apartment. Here Mrs. +Crewe, addressing herself to an elderly gentleman, asked if he +could inform the people below that a mad woman was terrifying the +company ; and while he was receiving her commission with the most +profound respect, and with an evident air of admiring +astonishment at her beauty, we heard a rustling, and, looking +round, saw the same figure hastily striding after us, and in an +instant at our elbows. + +Mrs. Crewe turned quite pale ; it was palpable she was the object +pursued, and she most civilly and meekly articulated, "I beg your +pardon, ma'am," as she hastily passed her, and hurried down the +steps. We were going to run for our lives, + + +Page 466 +when Miss Townshend whispered Mrs. Crewe it was Only Mrs. Wells +the actress, and said she was certainly Only performing vagaries +to try effect, which she was quite famous for doing. + +It would have been food for a painter to have seen Mrs. Crewe +during this explanation. All her terror instantly gave way to +indignation; and scarcely any pencil could equal the high vivid +glow of her cheeks. To find herself made the object of game to +the burlesque humour of a bold player, was an indignity she could +not brook, and her mind was immediately at work how to assist +herself against such unprovoked and unauthorized effrontery. + +The elderly gentleman who, with great eagerness, had followed +Mrs. Crewe, accompanied by a young man who was of his party, +requested more particularly her commands ; but before Mrs. +Crewe's astonishment and resentment found words, Mrs. Wells, +singing, and throwing herself into extravagant attitudes, again +rushed down the steps, and fixed her eyes on Mrs. Crewe. This, +however, no longer served her purpose. Mrs. Crewe fixed her in +return, and with a firm, composed, commanding air and look that, +though it did not make this strange creature retreat, somewhat +disconcerted her for a few minutes. She then presently affected +a violent coughing such a one as almost shook the room; though +such a forced and unnatural noise as rather resembled howling +than a cold. + +This over, and perceiving Mrs, Crewe still steadily keeping +her ground, she had the courage to come up to us, and, with a +flippant air, said to the elderly gentleman, "Pray, sir, will you +tell me what it is o'clock?" + +He looked vexed to be called a moment from looking at Mrs. Crewe, +and, with a forbidding gravity, answered her, "About two." + +"No offence, I hope, sir?" cried she, seeing him turn eagerly +from her. He bowed without looking at her, and she strutted +away, still, however, keeping in sight, and playing various +tricks, her eyes perpetually turned towards Mrs. Crewe, who as +regularly, met them, with an expression such as might have turned +a softer culprit to stone. + +Our cabal was again renewed, and Mrs. Crewe again told this +gentleman to make known to the proprietors of the gallery that +this person was a nuisance to the company, when, suddenly +re-approaching as, she called out, "Sir! sir!" to the younger of +our new protectors. + +He coloured, and looked much alarmed, but only bowed. + + +Page 467 + +"Pray, sir," cried she, "what's o'clock?" + +He looked at his watch, and answered. + +"You don't take it ill, I hope, sir?" she cried. + +He only bowed. + +"I do no harm, sir," said she; "I never bite." + + The poor young man looked aghast, and bowed lower; but Mrs. +Crewe, addressing herself to the elder, said aloud, "I beg you, +sir, to go to Mr. Boydell; you may name me to him--Mrs. Crewe." + +Mrs. Wells at this walked away, yet still in sight. +"You may tell him what has happened, sir, in all our names. You +may tell him Miss Burney--" + +"O no!" cried I, in a horrid fright, "I beseech I may not be +named! And, indeed, ma'am, it may be better to let it all alone. +It will do no good; and it may all get into the newspapers." + +"And if it does," cried Mrs. Crewe, "what is it to us? We have +done nothing; we have given no offence, and made no disturbance. +This person has frightened us all wilfully, and Utterly without +provocation; and now she can frighten us no longer, she would +brave us. Let her tell her own story, and how will it harm +us?" + +"Still," cried I, "I must always fear being brought into any +newspaper cabals. Let the fact be ever so much against her, she +will think the circumstances all to her honour if a paragraph +comes out beginning 'Mrs. Crewe and Mrs. Wells.'" + +Mrs. Crewe liked this sound as little as I should have liked it +in placing my own name where I put hers. She hesitated a little +what to do, and we all walked down-stairs, where instantly this +bold woman followed us, paraded Up and down the long shop with a +dramatic air while our group was in conference, and then, sitting +down at the clerk's desk, and calling in a footman, she desired +him to wait while she wrote a note. + +She scribbled a few lines, and read aloud her direction, "To Mr. +Topham;" and giving the note to the man, said, "Tell your master +that is something to make him laugh. Bid him not send to the +press till I see him." + +Now as Mr. Topham is the editor of "The World," and notoriously +her protector, as her having his footman acknowledged, this +looked rather serious, and Mrs. Crewe began to partake of my +alarm. She therefore, to my infinite satisfaction, told her new +friend that she desired he would name no names, but merely +mention that some ladies had been frightened. . . . + + +Page 468 + +We then got into Mrs. Crewe's carriage, and not till then would +this facetious Mrs. Wells quit the shop. And she walked in +sight, dodging us, and playing antics of a tragic sort of +gesture, till we drove out of her power to keep up with us. What +a strange creature! + + + + AN INVITATION FROM ARTHUR YOUNG. + +(Mr. Arthur Young to Fanny Burney.) +Bradfield Farm, June 18, 1792. +WHAT a plaguy business 'tis to take up one's pen to write to a +person who is constantly moving in a vortex of pleasure, +brilliancy, and wit,--whose movements and connections are, as it +were, in another world! One knows not how to manage the matter +with such folks, till you find by a little approximation and +friction of tempers and things that they are mortal, and no more +than good sort of people in the main, only garnished with +something we do not possess ourselves. Now then, the +consequence. + +Only three pages to write, and one lost in introduction! To the +matter at last. + +It seemeth that you make a journey to Norfolk. Now do ye see, if +you do not give a call on the farmer, and examine his ram (an old +acquaintance), his bull, his lambs, calves, and crops, he will +say but one thing of you--that you are fit for a court, but not +for a farm; and there is more happiness to be found among my +rooks than in the midst of all the princes and princesses of +Golconda. I would give an hundred pound to see you married to a +farmer that never saw London, with plenty of poultry ranging in a +few green fields, and flowers and shrubs disposed where they +should be, around a cottage, and not around a breakfast-room in +Portman-square, fading in eyes that know not to admire them. In +honest truth now, let me request your company here. It will give +us all infinite pleasure. You are habituated to admiration, but +you shall have here what is much better--the friendship of those +who loved you long before the world admired you. Come, and make +old friends happy! + + +(346) The flight of the king and his family from Paris, on the +night of June 20-21. They reached Varennes in safety the +following night, but were there recognised and stopped, and the +next day escorted back to Paris.-ED. + +(347) The reader will find in Green's "History of the English +People," a widely different view of' the character of Dunstan. +But Fanny knew only the old stories, and had, moreover, written a +tragedy, "Edwy and Elgiva," in which Dunstan, in accordance with +those old stories, appears as the villain.-ED. + +(348) Author of the "New Bath Guide."-ED. + +(349) Henrietta Frances, second daughter of John, first Earl +Spencer, and younger sister of Georgiana, Duchess of Devonshire, +married Viscount Duncannon in 1780. She died in 1821.-ED. + + +(350) Gibbon had good reason for his opinion of the power of Lady +Elizabeth's charms. In 1787, he met her at Lausanne, a young +widow of twenty-eight, and found her allurements so irresistible +that he proposed marriage to her, and was rejected.-ED. + +(351) Mrs. Ord was a yet more violent Tory than Fanny herself, +and would believe no good of the Duchess of Devonshire, the queen +of the Whigs.-ED. + +(352) In the "Memoirs of Dr. Burney," Fanny writes in more detail +of this her last visit to Sir Joshua. "He was still more deeply +depressed; though Miss Palmer good-humouredly drew a smile from +him, by gaily exclaiming, 'Do, pray, now, uncle, ask Miss Burney +to write another book directly! for we have almost finished +Cecilia again--and this is our sixth reading of it!'" + +"The little occupation, Miss Palmer said, of which Sir joshua was +then capable, was carefully dusting the paintings in his picture +gallery, and placing them in different points of view. + +"This passed at the conclusion Of 1791; on the February of the +following year, this friend, equally amiable and eminent, was no +more! (Memoirs, vol. iii. P. 144).-ED. + +(353) The wife of Sir Lucas Pepys.-ED. + +(354) Afterwards Lord Ellenborough: the leading counsel for +Hastings.-ED. + +(355) February 23, 1792.-ED. + +(356) The greater part of Sir joshua's large fortune was left to +his unmarried niece, Mary Palmer. Considerable legacies were +left to his niece, Mrs. Gwatkin (Offy Palmer), and to his friend +Edmund Burke. In addition to these legacies, his will provided +for a number of small bequests, including one of a thousand +pounds to his old servant, Ralph Kirkley. In the following +summer Mary Palmer married the Earl of Inchiquin, afterwards +Marquis of Thomond. "He is sixty-nine," Fanny writes about that +time of Lord Inchiquin; "but they say he is remarkably pleasing +in his manners, and soft and amiable in his disposition."-ED. + +(357) He was buried in the crypt of St. Paul's Cathedral, near +the tomb of Sir Christopher Wren.-ED. + +(358) The recent proclamation by the Government against the +publication and sale of seditious writings. The "new associates" +were members of the societies of sympathisers with the principles +of the French Revolution, which, under such titles as "Friends of +the People." "Corresponding Society," etc., were now spreading +all over England.-ED. + +(359) The revolutionary clubs of Paris, the Jacobins' Club in +particular, gradually acquired such power as enabled them to +overawe the Legislative Assembly, and even, at a later date, the +Convention itself. Their influence only ceased with the +overthrow and death of their leader, Robespièrre, in 1794.-ED. +(360) The wife and eldest daughter of Arthur Young, the +well-known writer on agriculture. Mrs. Young was the sister of +Dr. Burney's second Wife.-ED. +(361) "Madame de Genlis's husband, the Count de Genlis, had +become Marquis of Sillery by the death of his elder brother. He +was a Revolutionist and member of the Girondin party: one of the +twenty-two Girondins who perished by the guillotine, October 31, +1793. Madame de Genlis (or Brulard) had come to England in +October, 1791, with her young pupil, Mlle. d'Orléans +(Egalité), the daughter of Philippe Egalité, Duke of Orleans, +whose physicians had ordered her to take the waters at Bath. +They remained in England until November, 1792, when they were +recalled to Paris by Egalité. Arriving there, they found +themselves proscribed as emigrants, and obliged to quit Paris +within eight-and-forty hours. They then took refuge in Flanders, +and settled at Tournay where Pamela was married to Lord Edward +Fitzgerald, subsequently one of the leaders in the Irish +Rebellion of 1798. In Flanders Madame de Genlis enjoyed the +protection of General Dumontiez, but when he became suspected, +with too good reason, by the Convention, she was obliged again to +take flight, and found safety at last with Mlle. d'Orléans, in +Switzerland. + +Pamela was the adopted daughter of Madame de Genlis; some said +her actual daughter by the Duke of Orleans; but this is at least +doubtful. "Circe," or "Henrietta Circe," as Fanny afterwards +calls her, was Madame de Genlis's niece, Henriette de Sercey (!), +who subsequently married a rich merchant of Hamburg.-ED. VOL. 11. + +(362) "Is it possible? Am I so happy? Do I see my dear Miss +Burney?" + +(363) Earl Macartney was sent as ambassador to China in 1793, for +the purpose of concluding a commercial treaty with that power. +He was unsuccessful, however, and, after spending some months in +China, the embassy returned to England.-ED. + +(364) "Miss French, a lively niece of Mr. Burke's." (.Memoirs of +Dr. Burney, vol. iii, p. 157.)-ED. + +(365) Burke was, of course, mistaken. When Wycherley died, at +seventy-five (December, 1715), Mary Granville (afterwards Mrs. +Delany) was in her sixteenth year. Wycherley, it is true, +married a young wife on his deathbed, but it is certain that this +was not Mary Granville; indeed, if Pope's account, given in +Spence's "Anecdotes," may be trusted, it was a woman of very +different character.-ED. + +(366) Alexander Wedderburn, afterwards Lord Loughborough, was +born in or near Edinburgh in 1733. He attained distinction at +the bar, and entered Parliament early in the reign of George III. +As a politician he was equally notorious for his skill in debate +and his want of public principle. Previously a member of the +opposition, he ratted to the Government in 1771, and was rewarded +by Lord North with the Solicitor-Generalship. He defended Lord +Clive in 1773. When Thurlow became Lord Chancellor (in 1778), +Wedderburn succeeded him in the office of Attorney-General. In +1786 he was made Chief justice of the Court of Common Pleas, and +called to the House of Peers by the title of Baron Loughborough. +After this we find him acting as a follower of Charles Fox, and +leader of the Whig party in the House of Lords. He supported +Fox's views on the Regency question in 1788-9, but when the split +in the Whig party on the subject of the French Revolution took +place, Loughborough, like Burke, gave his support to the +government. In January, 1793, he obtained the long coveted post +of Lord Chancellor. He died January 1, 1805. A story goes that +when the news of Loughborough's death was brought to George III., +"his majesty was graciously pleased to exclaim, 'Then he has not +left a greater knave behind him in my dominions.'" (Campbell's +"Lives of the Chancellors," vol. vi., p. 334.)-ED. + +(367) Thomas Erskine (born 1750, died 1823), "If less eminent in +the law, was a far more respectable politician than Loughborough, +although his parliamentary career was by no means so brilliant. +He was a consistent Whig, with the courage of his convictions. +He lost his post of Attorney-General to the Prince of Wales +through his defence of Thomas Paine, author of the famous "Rights +of Man," in December, 1792. Fired by the example of the French +Revolutionists, the friends of liberty in England were, about +this time, everywhere forming themselves into political +associations, for the purpose of promoting Parliamentary reform, +and generally "spreading the principles of freedom." By the +government these societies were regarded as seditious. Erskine +was a member of one or more of these associations, and one of his +most brilliant triumphs at the bar was connected with the +prosecution by government (October, 1794), of Hardy Thelwall and +Horne Tooke for high treason, as members of one of these supposed +seditious societies. The prisoners were defended by Erskine and +acquitted. Erskine became Lord Chancellor in 1806 after the +death of Pitt.-ED. + +(368) On his own admission Erskine was a member of the Society of +Friends of the People about the end of 1792-ED. + +(369) With all his talents Erskine was always noted for his +inordinate vanity.-ED. + +(370) The famous Lord Chief justice. He died in 1793, aged +eighty-eight years.-ED. + +(371) Alderman Boydell's celebrated "Shakspeare Gallery" in Pall +Mall, contained paintings illustrative of Shakspeare by Reynolds, +Romney, Fuseli, and many others of the most distinguished +painters of the day. The entire collection, comprising one +hundred and seventy works, was sold by auction by Christie, in +May, 1805.-ED. + +(372) For Arthur Young, see postea, vol. iii., p. 17. Bradfield +Farm, his home was in Suffolk, in the neighbourhood of Bury St. +Edmunds.-ED. + + + + +*** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK, THE DIARY AND LETTERS OF MADAM D'ARBLAY VOLUME 2 *** + +This file should be named 6042.txt or 6042.zip + +Project Gutenberg eBooks are often created from several printed +editions, all of which are confirmed as Public Domain in the US +unless a copyright notice is included. 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