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diff --git a/old/60009-0.txt b/old/60009-0.txt deleted file mode 100644 index 9c06936..0000000 --- a/old/60009-0.txt +++ /dev/null @@ -1,2549 +0,0 @@ -The Project Gutenberg EBook of The Philosophy of Beards, by Thomas S. Gowing - -This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere in the United States and -most other parts of the world at no cost and with almost no restrictions -whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms -of the Project Gutenberg License included with this eBook or online at -www.gutenberg.org. If you are not located in the United States, you'll -have to check the laws of the country where you are located before using -this ebook. - - - -Title: The Philosophy of Beards - A Lecture: Physiological, Artistic & Historical - -Author: Thomas S. Gowing - -Release Date: July 29, 2019 [EBook #60009] - -Language: English - -Character set encoding: UTF-8 - -*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE PHILOSOPHY OF BEARDS *** - - - - -Produced by Turgut Dincer, Barry Abrahamsen, and the Online -Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net (This -file was produced from images generously made available -by The Internet Archive) - - - - - - - - - - PRICE ONE SHILLING. - - ------- - - The Philosophy of Beards. - - ------- - - Physiological, Artistic & Historical. - - by - - T. S. Gowing. - - Ipswich. - - Published by J. Haddock. - - London: - - T. T. Lamare, 2, Oxford Arms Passage. - Paternoster Row - - ------------------------------------------------------------------------- - - -[Illustration: - - The Ape and the Goat -] - - ------------------------------------------------------------------------- - - -[Illustration] - - ------------------------------------------------------------------------- - - - - - Preface. - - ------- - - -THE following Lecture, the first I believe on the specific subject, met -with a warm reception from a numerous and good-humoured auditory; and -received long and flattering notices from the local papers, “the Ipswich -Journal,” and “the Suffolk Chronicle.” My enterprising and liberal -publisher, has thought it worthy of more extended circulation. May the -public think with him, and take it off his hands as freely as he has -taken it off mine! - -I have modified the passages which referred to the illustrations; the -greater portion of which it would, independently of expense, have been -impossible to give with any effect on a small scale. Mr. F. B. Russel, -(to whom with his worthy brother artist, Mr. Thomas Smyth, I was -indebted for the original design,) has, with a kindness I can better -appreciate than acknowledge, anastaticized the humorous drawing of the -ape and the goat, (page 21,) with which their joint talents enriched my -Lecture. Mr. Russel has also very skilfully introduced into the title -page, reduced copies of the three view’s of the Greek head of Jupiter, -referred to at page 14. - -Since its delivery, many notes have been added to the Lecture, which it -is hoped will afford both amusement and information. It now only remains -for me to make my bow, wish my “_fratres barbati_,” long life to their -Beards, and shout - - - Vivat Regina! - - Floreat Barba! - - -[Illustration] - - ------------------------------------------------------------------------- - - - The Philosophy of Beards. - - - -------------- - - - - - INTRODUCTION. - - -OUR most universal and most imaginative Poet, whose single lines are -often abstracts and epitomes of poems, makes Hamlet exclaim—“What a -piece of work is man! How noble in reason! how infinite in faculties! in -form and moving, how express and admirable! in action, how like an -angel! in apprehension, how like a God! the beauty of the world! the -paragon of animals!” And yet this same glorious creature, thus worthily -praised, is, with singular contradiction, so forgetful of his higher -attributes, that he can despise his reason! ignore his infinite -faculties! deliberately deface that form so express and admirable! -descend to actions that smack rather of the demon than the angel! Drown -his godlike apprehension in drink! Shave off his majestic beauty! and -become, instead of the paragon—the parody of animals! - -O Fashion! most mighty, but most capricious of goddesses! what strange -vagaries playest thou with the sons and daughters of men! What is there -so lovely, that thou canst not, with a word, transform into an object of -disgust and abhorrence? What so ugly and repulsive, but thou hast the -art to exalt it into a golden image for thy slaves to worship, on pain -of the fiery furnace of ridicule? Could a collection be made of the -forms and figures, modes and mummeries, which thou hast imposed on thy -ofttimes too willing votaries, it would task the most vivid imagination, -the most fantastic stretch of fancy, to furnish a description of the -incongruous contents! - -Perhaps no human feature has been more the subject of Fashion’s -changeable humours than the BEARD, of which it is purposed to night to -render some account, in the hope of being able to prove that in no -instance has she been guilty of more deliberate offences against nature -and reason! With this object in view, the structure, intention, and uses -of the Beard will be examined, and its artistic relations indicated; its -history will next be traced; and a reply will then be briefly given to -some objections against wearing the Beard, not embraced in the preceding -matter. - - -[Illustration] - - ------------------------------------------------------------------------- - - - - - I. PHYSIOLOGY. - - ------- - - -A QUAINT old Latin author asks, “What is a Beard? Hair? and what is -Hair? a Beard?” Perhaps a Beard may be defined more clearly by stating, -that in its full extent it comprehends all hair visible on the -countenance below the eyes, naturally growing down the sides of the -face, crossing the cheeks by an inverted arch, fringing the upper and -lower lips, covering the chin above and below, and hanging down in front -of the neck and throat:—moustaches and whiskers being merely parts of a -general whole. The hair of the head differs from that of the Beard. In -an enlarged microscopical view, the former is seen to resemble a -flattened cylinder, tapering off towards the extremity. It has a rough -outer bark, and a finer inner coat; and contains, like a plant, its -central pith, consisting of oil and coloring matters. At the lower part -it is bulbous, and the pith vessels rest on a large vesicle. The bulb is -enclosed in a fold of the skin, and imbedded in the sebaceous glands. -The root is usually inserted obliquely to the surface. Avoiding further -detail, let me at once direct your attention to the circumstance, that -whereas the hair of the head is only furnished with one pith tube, that -of the Beard, is provided with two.[1] Is not this a striking fact to -commence with? and does it not at once suggest that this extra provision -must have a special purpose? It has, as we shall presently see; and only -now add, that the hairs of the Beard are more deeply inserted and more -durable; flatter, and hence more disposed to curl. - -Footnote 1: - - Vide Hassell’s Microscopic Anatomy. Haller says “Withof calculated - that the hair of the Beard grows at the rate of 1½ line in the week, - which is 6½ inches in the year, and by the time a man reaches eighty, - 27 feet will have fallen under the edge of the razor.” - -As the Beard makes its appearance simultaneously with one of the most -important natural changes in man’s constitution, it has in all ages been -regarded as the ensign of manliness. All the leading races of men, -whether of warm or cold climates, who have stamped their character on -history—Egyptians, Indians, Jews, Assyrians, Babylonians, Persians, -Arabs, Greeks, Romans, Celts, Turks, Scandinavians, Sclaves—were -furnished with an abundant growth of this natural covering. Their -enterprizes were accordingly distinguished by a corresponding vigour and -daring. The fact, too, is indisputable, that their hardiest efforts were -cotemporaneous with the existence of their Beards; and a closer -investigation would show that the rise and fall of this natural feature -has had more influence on the progress and decline of nations, than has -hitherto been suspected. Though there are _individual_ exceptions, the -absence of Beard is usually a sign of physical and moral weakness; and -in degenerate tribes wholly without, or very deficient, there is a -conscious want of manly dignity, and contentedness with a low physical, -moral, and intellectual condition. Such tribes have to be sought for by -the physiologist and ethnologist; the _historian_ is never called upon -to do honor to their deeds. Nor is it without significance that the -effeminate Chinese have signalized their present attempt to become once -more free men, instead of tartar tools—by a formal resolve to have done -with pigtails, and let their hair take its natural course over head and -chin.[2] - -Footnote 2: - - The whiskers of Confucius are said to be preserved as relics in China. - -But the hair does not merely act as an external sign; it has, or it -would not be there, its own proper and distinct functions to perform. -The most important of these is the protection of some of the most -susceptible portions of our frame from cold and moisture—those fruitful -sources of painful, and often fatal, disease. And what more admirable -contrivance could be thought of for this purpose than a free and -graceful veil of hair—a substance possessing the important properties of -power to repel moisture, and to serve as a non-conductor of heat and -electricity. - -Let me now show you what lies underneath the surface naturally covered -by the Beard. We have first that ganglion or knot, the seat of the -exquisitely painful affection tic doloureux. From it you will perceive -white threads of nerves radiating to the jaws precisely in the line -protected by the Beard. As you contemplate it, you can hardly fail to be -struck with the fact, that in shaving may sometimes originate that local -paralysis which disfigures the corners of the mouth. Next we have the -nerves of the teeth, which all know to be so affected by changes of -temperature. - -Glance now, if you please, at those glands which secrete and elaborate -the lymph which is to form part of the circulating fluid, and in which -scrofula often has its origin, and some say its name. They are -peculiarly liable to be affected by cold and moisture, presenting then -those well-known unsightly swellings about the neck: they therefore -receive an extra protection, the hair usually growing much more thickly -on the parts where they are met with than elsewhere. - -There are another set of glands, the sebaceous, which are thickly -concentrated on the chin. Now shaving is the cause that the hairs on -this part are liable to a peculiar and very irritating disease, which -imparts a kind of foretaste of purgatory to many unfortunate victims of -that unnatural practice. Those with strong beards most righteously -suffer the most; for the more efficient the natural protection is, the -greater is also the folly of its removal. - -Lastly, there are the tonsils, and the glands of the throat and larynx. -Few require to be told how common at present are acute and chronic -affections of these parts. - -That the Beard was intended as a protection to the whole of them, any -one may satisfy himself by wearing it and then shaving it off in cold or -damp weather. If not inclined to try this experiment, and mind I do not -recommend it, perhaps the following evidence will be sufficiently -convincing. Firstly, the historical fact that the Russian soldiers, when -compelled to shave by Peter the Great, suffered most severely. Secondly, -the medical testimony extracted from the Professional Dictionary of Dr. -Copeland, one of the first Physicians of the day, where it is stated, -“Persons in the habit of wearing long Beards, have often been affected -with rheumatic pains in the face, or with sore throat on shaving them -off. In several cases of chronic sore throat, wearing the Beard under -the chin, or upon the throat, has prevented a return of the complaint.” -Thirdly, the fact that several persons in this town (Ipswich) have been -so cured. And lastly, this brief but important testimony of the men of -the Scottish Central Railway, dated Perth, 24th August, 1853. - - “We, the servants of the Scottish Central Railway, beg to inform - you, that having last summer seen a circular recommending the - men employed upon railways to cultivate the growth of their - Beards, as the best protection against the inclemency of the - weather, have been induced to follow this advice; and the - benefit we have derived from it, induces us to recommend it to - the general adoption of our brothers in similar circumstances - throughout the kingdom. We can assure them, from our own - experience, that they will by this means be saved from the bad - colds and sore throats of such frequent occurrence without this - natural protection.” - - Signed by 5 Guards, 1 Inspector of Police, - 2 Engine Men, and 1 Fireman. - -Let us next see, for it is a highly interesting point in a -consumption-breeding climate like ours, where thousands of victims -annually die, _how_ the entrances to the air passages and lungs are -protected by the upper part of the beard—the moustache. We draw air in -commonly through the nose, and breathe it out through the mouth: though -occasionally the two passages exchange functions. In a section of the -nose, the interior of the nostril is seen to communicate, by a slightly -curved passage, with the back entrance to the mouth and throat. Now as -the incoming air must follow the direction of the draught, you will -readily perceive that any air entering by the nostrils must pass through -or over the hair of the moustache, and be warmed in the passage: and -when the air makes its way by the mouth, it must pass under the -moustache and be warmed, like that under the eaves of a thatched roof. - -The moustache, however, not merely warms the inspired air, but filters -it from superfluous moisture, dirt, dust, and smoke; and soon we trust -it will be deemed as rational to deprive the upper lip of its protecting -fringe, as to shave the eyebrows or pluck out the eyelashes.[3] - -Footnote 3: - - I can from personal experience state, that being subject when younger - to swelling of the upper lip from cold, previous to entering - Switzerland I allowed my moustache to grow. During six weeks excursion - on foot, exposed to all weathers and stopping for none, being at one - moment in warm valleys and a few hours afterwards at the top of - ice-clad mountains, I never felt the least uncomfortableness about the - mouth. When on returning home, however, I was foolish enough to shave, - I paid dearly for the operation. - -Those to whom the extent of preventible disease among our -artizans—disease arising solely from their employments is unknown, I -must refer to Mr. Thackrah’s book on that specific subject. Scientific -ingenuity had long attempted to devise contrivances to relieve the men -from some of these diseases; but the schemes were found too cumbrous, or -otherwise impracticable. As so often happens, what _men_ were profoundly -searching for, _nature_ had placed directly under their noses. Mr. -Chadwick, to whom the public are indebted for much valuable information -on questions connected with the public health, and Dr. Alison, of -Glasgow, one of whom had seen the particles of iron settling on and -staining the Beards of foreign smiths; and the other had noticed the -dusty Beards of foreign masons when at work, were led to the conclusion, -independently of each other, that the iron and stone dust were much -better deposited on the Beard (whence they could be washed), than in the -lungs, where they would be sure to cause disease. The lungs of a mason -for instance are preserved in Edinburgh, which are one concrete mass of -stone. These gentlemen published their convictions; and through the -beneficial agency of the press, that information, aided by papers in the -“Builder,” and in “Dickens’s Household Words,” soon found its way to our -artizans, many of whom have tried the experiment, and borne testimony to -its satisfactory results. At this juncture, let us also hope that the -reiterated opinions of eminent Army Surgeons will at length be listened -to, and the British Soldier be freed from the apoplectic leathern stock, -and allowed to wear that protection which nature endowed him with. To -the latter the most rigid economist cannot object, since it will add -nothing to the estimates, while it will enable the soldier to offer, if -not a bolder, at least a more formidable front, to the foe, and save him -from many of the hazards of the march in which more die than on the -field of battle! - -Though the subject has as yet received too little scientific attention, -there can be no doubt that the hair generally has a further important -function to perform in regulating the electricity which is so intimately -connected with the condition of the nerves. - -I have reserved to the last the curious fact, which in itself is -perfectly conclusive as to the protecting office of the Beard, and -explains why its hair has additional provision for its nourishment; and -this fact is, that while the hair of the head usually falls off with the -approach of age, that of the Beard, on the contrary, continues to _grow_ -and _thicken_ to the latest period of life. He must be indeed insensible -to all evidence of design, who does not acknowledge in this a wise and -beneficent provision, especially when he connects with it the other -well-known fact, that the skull becomes denser, and the brain less -sensitive, while the parts shielded by the Beard are more susceptible -than ever, and have less vitality to contend with prejudicial -influences. - -Before proceeding further it may be as well briefly to answer the -question, why, if Beards be so necessary for men, women have no -provision of the kind? The reason I take to be this, that they are -women, and were consequently never intended to be exposed to the -hardships and difficulties men are called upon to undergo. Woman was -made a help meet for man, and it was designed that man should in return, -protect her to the utmost of his power from those external circumstances -which it is his duty boldly to encounter. Her hair grows naturally -longer, and in the savage state she is accustomed to let it fall over -the neck and shoulders. The ancient Athenian and Lombard women are even -said to have accompanied their husbands to the battle-field with their -hair so arranged as to imitate the Beard. In more civilized society, -various contrivances are resorted to by the gentler sex for protection, -which would be utterly unsuitable to the sterner. In saying this I do -not include the present absurd bonnet, which seems purposely contrived -to expose rather than shield the fair, and to excite our pity and cause -us to tremble while we cannot but admire! - -Two curious exceptional cases of bearded women must not be passed over; -one, that of a female soldier in the army of Charles XII, who was taken -at the battle of Pultowa, where she had fought with a courage worthy of -her Beard: the other, that of Margaret of Parma, the celebrated Regent -of the Netherlands, who conceived that her Beard imparted such dignity -to her appearance, that she would never allow a hair of it to be -touched. - - -[Illustration] - - ------------------------------------------------------------------------- - - - - - II. ARTISTIC DIVISION. - - -NOT only was the Beard intended to serve the important purposes just -described; but, combining beauty with utility, to impart manly grace and -free finish to the male face. To its picturesqueness Poets and Painters, -the most competent judges, have borne universal testimony. It is indeed -impossible to view a series of bearded portraits, however indifferently -executed, without feeling that they possess dignity, gravity, freedom, -vigour, and completeness; while in looking on a row of razored faces, -however illustrious the originals, or skilful the artists, a sense of -artificial conventional bareness is experienced. - -Addison gives vent to the same notion, when he makes Sir Roger de -Coverley point to a venerable bust in Westminster Abbey, and ask -“whether our forefathers did not look much wiser in their Beards, than -we without them?” and say, “for my part, when I am in my gallery in the -country, and see my ancestors, who many of them died before they were of -my age, I cannot forbear regarding them as so many old Patriarchs, and -at the same time looking upon myself as an idle smock-faced young -fellow. I love to see your Abrahams, your Isaacs, and your Jacobs, as we -have them in the old pieces of tapestry, with Beards below their girdles -that cover half the hangings.” The knight added, “if I would recommend -Beards in one of my papers, and endeavour to restore human faces to -their ancient dignity, upon a month’s warning he would undertake to lead -up the fashion himself in a pair of whiskers.” In reference to this last -allusion it may be as well to state, that the word whisker is frequently -used by earlier authors to denote the moustache, and that in Addison’s -time, a mass of false hair was worn, and the head and face close shaven. - -To shew that it is the Beard alone that causes the sensation we have -alluded to, look at two drawings on exactly the same original outline, -of a Greek head of Jupiter, the one with, the other without the Beard! -What say you? Is not the experiment a sort of “occular demonstration” in -favor of nature, and a justification of art and artists? See how the -forehead of the bearded one rises like a well-supported dome—what depth -the eyes acquire—how firm the features become—how the muscular -angularity is modified—into what free flowing lines the lower part of -the oval is resolved, and what gravity the increased length given to the -face imparts. - -As amusing and instructive pendants, take two drawings of the head of a -lion, one with and the other without the mane. You will see how much of -the majesty of the king of the woods, as well as that of the lord of the -earth, dwells in this free flowing appendage. By comparing these -drawings with those of Jupiter, you will detect, I think, in the head of -the lion whence the Greek sculptor drew his ideal of this noble type of -godlike humanity. - -Since this idea struck me, Mr. John Marshall, in a lecture at the -Government School of Practical Art, has remarked, “that nature leaves -nothing but what is beautiful uncovered, and that the masculine chin is -seldom sightly, because it was _designed to be covered_, while the chins -of women are generally beautiful.” This view he supported by instancing, -“that the bear, the rabbit, the cat, and the bird, are hideous to look -upon when deprived of their hairy and feathery decorations: but the -horse, the greyhound, and other animals so sparingly covered that the -shape remains unaltered by the fur, are beautiful even in their naked -forms.” This argument, it seems to me, applies with greater force to the -various ages of man. In the babe, the chin is exceedingly soft, and its -curve blends into those of the face and neck: in the boy it still -retains a feminine gentleness of line, but as he advances to the youth, -the bones grow more and more prominent, and the future character begins -to stamp itself upon the form: at the approach of manhood, the lines -combining with those of the mouth become more harsh, angular, and -decided; in middle age, various ugly markings establish themselves about -both, which in age are rendered not only deeper, but increased in number -by the loss of the teeth and the falling in of the lips, which of course -distorts all the muscles connected with the mouth. Such, however, is the -force of prejudice founded on custom, that people who sink themselves to -the ears in deep shirt collars, and to the chin in starched cravat and -stiffened stock, muffle themselves in comforters till their necks are as -big as their waists; nay do not demur some of them to be seen in that -abomination of ugliness—that huge black patch of deformity—a respirator, -have still sufficient face left to tell us that the expression of the -countenance would be injured by restoring the Beard! - -A word, therefore, on the expression of Bearded faces. The works of the -Greeks,[4] the paintings of the old Masters, but above all the -productions of the pencil of Raphael, justly styled “the Painter of -Expression,” is a sufficient general answer to this ill-considered -charge. It would indeed be strange if He who made the male face, and -fixed the laws of every feature—clothing it with hair, as with a -garment, should in this last particular have made an elaborate provision -to mar the excellency of His own work! Nothing indeed but the long -effeminizing of our faces could have given rise to the present shaven -ideal—to the forgetfulness of the true standard of masculine beauty of -expression, which is naturally as antipodal as the magnetic north and -south poles, to that of female loveliness, where delicacy of line, -blushing changeable colour, and eyes that win by seeming not to wish it, -are charms we all feel, and at the same time understand how -inappropriate they are when applied to the opposite sex; where the bold -enterprizing brow—the deep penetrating eye—the daring, sagacious nose, -and the fleshy but firm mouth, well supported on the decided projecting -chin, proclaim a being who has an appointed path to tread, and hard -rough work to do, in this world of difficulties and ceaseless -transition. - -Footnote 4: - - Elmes says, “The Beard in Art has an ideal character as an attribute, - and distinguished by its undulating curl the Beard of Jupiter Olympius - from that of Jupiter Serapis (who has a longer and straighter Beard) - the lank Beard of Neptune and the river Gods, from the short and - frizzly Beards of Hercules, Ajax, Diomede, Ulysses, &c.” - -So much for the general charge; if we examine the separate features, -there can be no question that the upper part of the face—the most -godlike portion—where the mind sits enthroned, gains in expression by -the addition of and contrast with the Beard; the nose also is thrown -into higher relief, while the eyes acquire both depth and brilliancy. -The mouth, which is especially the seat of the affections, its -surrounding muscles rendering it the reflex of every passing emotion, -owes its general expression to the line between the lips—the key to -family likeness; and this line is more sharply defined by the shadow -cast by the moustache, from which the teeth also acquire additional -whiteness, and the lips a brighter red. Neither the mouth nor chin are, -as we have said, unsightly in early life, but at a later period the case -is otherwise. There is scarcely indeed a more _naturally_ disgusting -object than a beardless old man (compared by the Turks to a “plucked -pigeon,”) with all the deep-ploughed lines of effete passions, grasping -avarice, disappointed ambition, the pinchings of poverty, the swollen -lines of self-indulgence, and the distortions of disease and decay! Now -the Beard, which, as the Romans phrased it, “buds” on the face of youth -in a soft downiness in harmony with immature manliness, and lengthens -and thickens with the progress of life, keeps gradually covering, -varying, and beautifying, as the “mantling ivy” the rugged oak, or the -antique tower, and by playing with its light free forms over the harsher -characteristics, imparts new graces even to decay, by heightening all -that is still pleasing, veiling all that is repulsive. - -The colour of the Beard is usually warmer than that of the hair of the -head, and reflection soon suggests the reason. The latter comes into -contact chiefly with the forehead, which has little colour; but the -Beard grows out of the face where there is always more or less. Now -nature makes use of the colours of the face in painting the Beard—a -reason by the bye for not attempting to alter the original hue, and -carries off her warm and cold colours by that means. Never shall I -forget the circumstance of a gentleman with high colour, light brown -hair, full whiskers of a warm brown, deepening into a warm black, and -good looking, though his features, especially the nose, were not -regular—taking a whim into his head to shave off his whiskers. Deprived -of this fringe, the colour of his cheeks looked spotty, his nose forlorn -and wretched, and his whole face like a house on a hill-top exposed to -the north east, from which the sheltering plantations had been -ruthlessly removed. - -The following singular fact in connection with the colour of the Beard, -I learnt in chance conversation with a hairdresser. Observing that -persons like him with high complexion and dark hair, had usually a -purple black beard: he said, “that’s true, sir,” and told me he had -“found in his own Beard, and in those of his customers, distinct red -hairs intermingled with the black,” just as it is stated that in the -grey fur of animals there are distinct rings of white and black hairs. -This purplish bloom of a black Beard is much admired by the Persians; -and curiously enough they produce the effect by a red dye of henna -paste, followed by a preparation of indigo. - -There is one other point connected with colour which ought not to be -omitted. All artists know the value of white in clearing up colours. Now -let any one look at an old face surrounded by white hair, whether in man -or woman, and he will perceive a harmonizing beauty in it, that no -artificial imitation of more youthful colours can possibly impart. In -this, as in other cases, the natural is the most becoming. - -Permit me to conclude this section of my lecture by reminding all who -wish to let their Beards grow, that there is a law above fashion, and -that each individual face is endowed with its individual Beard, the form -and colour of which is determined by similar laws to those which -regulate the tint of the skin, the form and colour of the hair of the -head, eyebrows, and eyelashes; and therefore the most becoming, even if -ugly in itself, to their respective physiognomies. What suits a square -face, will not suit an oval, and a high forehead demands a different -Beard to a low one. Leave the matter therefore to nature, and in due -season the fitting form and colour will manifest themselves. And here -parties who have never shaved have this great advantage over those who -have yielded to the unnatural custom, that hair will only be visible, -even when present, in its proper place, be better in character and -colour, and more graceful in its form. - -And now, ladies and gentlemen, as all history we are told grew out of -fable, allow me, as a sort of intermezzo, to preface my history by “a -Fable for the Times.” - - An Ape, one day, said to a Goat, - “Why wear that nasty ugly Beard? - I’ll shave you for a quarter groat - Cleaner than Sheep was ever shear’d.” - - “Thank you, Sir Ape!” the Goat replied, - “I’ll think of it.” To court he ran, - Where he the foplings busy spied - Effacing ev’ry mark of man: - - Thinking to win the softer sex - By making themselves _softer_ still. - “Ah!” says our Goat, “ah! ah! I’feggs, - I’ll be in fashion, that I will!” - - He seats himself, the Ape’s not slow, - But tucks the cloth in, and then lathers; - When lo! stalk’d by a goodly row, - A solemn train of old Church Fathers! - - With these came Doctors of each Art, - And each one pointed to his Beard! - Our Goat sprang up, with sudden start, - Like one whom conscience makes afeard. - - “O Ape! this man’s a creature brave, - To whom we all like slaves submit; - Bearded to-day—t’morrow he’ll shave, - Then where’s the good of his boasted wit! - - “There’s your apron! take your basin! - ’Tis best to abide by nature’s rule: - His Beard no Goat will see disgrace in, - Whom nature did not make a fool!” - - MORAL. - - Let your Beards grow in their natural shapes, - God made you all _Men_, don’t make yourselves _Apes_! - - -[Illustration] - - ------------------------------------------------------------------------- - - - - - III. HISTORICAL SURVEY. - - ------- - - EGYPTIANS. - - -HAVING seen that the Beard is a natural feature of the male face, and -that the Creator intended it for distinction, protection, and ornament, -let us turn lightly over the pages of history and examine the estimation -in which it has been held at various times among the leading people, -ancient and modern. - -The first nation which suggests itself is the Egyptian, and very -peculiar forms of Beard were assigned by them on their monuments to -their gods, kings, and common people. That of the gods is curled and the -length of the oval of the face: that of the kings is shaped like an -Egyptian doorway, and three fourths of the same standard: of which the -people’s is one fourth and nearly square. This appendage seems from the -appearance of an attaching band to have been frequently artificial, and -probably the Egyptians, who, as you may see by the wig in the British -Museum, wore false hair, also wore false Beards. Some have supposed the -forms alluded to, to be mere symbols of the male sex on the monuments; -but this notion is disproved by male persons being represented without -them. That they were occasionally so used, however, is clear from the -kingly Beard on that symbol of royalty the Sphynx. - -The priests of this ancient nation are stated to have removed every hair -from the body thrice a week; and they ultimately compelled the people to -shave both their heads and faces; and all slaves and servants, though -foreigners, were obliged to do the same. That this arose from some -superstitious notion of cleanliness, is confirmed by the remark of -Herodotus, “that no Egyptian of either sex, would on any account kiss -the lips of a bearded Greek, or make use of his knife, spit, or -cauldron, or taste the meat of an animal which had been slaughtered by -his hand.” - -In times of mourning, however, the Egyptians allowed the hair of the -head and Beard to grow in token of grief. - - - JEWS. - -Such was the practice of the Egyptians; and it is highly important to -take the Jews next, because at the period of our first knowledge of them -as a people, they appear in bondage to the former nation; and it is now -generally believed that most of the usages established by Moses had more -or less reference to Egyptian customs, from which he was desirous of -weaning them. As might be expected from the inspired Lawgiver, whose -sublime books start with the grand assertion, that man was made “in the -express image of God,” any attempt to alter the natural features of the -“human face divine,” was denounced and emphatically interdicted. Twice -is the commandment issued—first to the whole people, “thou shalt not mar -the corners of thy Beard,” in other words, thou shalt not alter the form -thereof, which I thy God have appointed! Then to the Priests, with the -addition, that they should not make baldness upon their heads. It is of -the utmost consequence to recall the superstitious practice of the -Egyptian Priests, and to remember that Moses issued this command to the -Aaronites, fresh from Egypt, because it most convincingly shews that the -practice of shaving, even when resorted to with the view of pleasing the -Deity, by an extreme degree of external purity, in approaching His -mysterious presence, was directly and most absolutely forbidden. It is -as if God had said, “What art thou, O man! who thinkest in thy vain -imagination that I, thy Creator, knew not how to fashion thee! and -blasphemously supposest that thou canst please me, by superstitiously -sacrificing what I, in my Almighty wisdom, had endowed thee with, for -protection and ornament!” And, as if to mark the distinction more -strongly, Moses enjoined in the strictest manner every ordinary and -natural method of purifying the person. - -It cannot but be instructive to note, that thus on the very threshold of -history, we have two customs so opposite brought into contrast—the one -strongly condemned, the other most awfully sanctioned. And it is the -more necessary to mark this, because there are many religious persons -who have by custom acquired the Egyptian notion, and forgotten its -emphatic condemnation. There are many who, though told that certain -diseases to which the more active of the clergy are specially liable, -might be prevented and may be cured, by simply wearing the Beard, will -still insist upon their ministers paying the penalty invariably -attaching to a violation of God’s laws, because their prejudices lead -them to fancy a smooth face rather than a manly one. - -As further confirmation of our idea that the object of this law of Moses -was to prevent any of the natural features from being materially -altered—he objected not to trimming the Beard, which was a common Jewish -practice—is to be found in the first verse of the 14th chapter of -Deuteronomy, where the people are commanded not to shave their eyebrows; -which was a customary mark of grief among some bearded nations. The Jews -too, unlike the Persians and others, instead of shaving the Beard in -time of mourning—though in the violence of oriental grief they sometimes -plucked it—usually left it merely untrimmed or veiled, till the days of -mourning were passed. - -You all remember the fearful vengeance David took when his ambassadors -were disgraced by shaving their Beards. - -The Beard continued to be worn in all its glory by these chosen people, -and it would be impossible for us to imagine to ourselves the appearance -of any of their patriarchs, judges, priests, prophets, or mature -kings—or of the sublime founder of our religion—or of the chosen -twelve—save the youthful John, without this venerable and venerated -feature. What painter would dare such an offence to our most sacred -associations, as to represent any of these with the smirking smoothness -of razored neatness! - -That in Mahomet’s time, the Jews still held to their primitive custom, -is evident from that lawgiver’s command to his followers to clip the -whiskers and Beard, in order to distinguish themselves from the Jews. -Indeed the latter, in every way most remarkable people, have clung to -the prescribed custom with all the force of religious feeling and firm -conviction. And however in modern times some of the laity, impelled by a -desire to mix unobserved amongst the populations of Western Europe, may -have sacrificed conviction to convenience, their Rabbies have remained -invariably consistent in their testimony to truth and nature; and one of -the most enduring impressions of my youth is the remembrance of the -Chief Rabbi Herschel treading the streets of London, like the last of -the prophets, in dark robes, with long pale face and flowing Beard, - - And eyes, whose deep mysterious glow, - Disdainful of each fleeting show, - Dwelt in the old and sacred past, - Or Seer-like scann’d the future, vast. - - - ASSYRIANS AND BABYLONIANS. - -The Assyrians and Babylonians, as we know from the researches and -discoveries of Layard and others, wore highly ornamental Beards, in -which they were followed by the ancient Persians, and the bands -appearing on them were of gold. - - - PERSIANS, ARABS, AND TURKS. - -The ancient Arabs, like their kindred, the Jews, were Bearded, and like -them also they have preserved their Beards intact, though their faith -has more than once changed. From Mahomet’s time we may class them for -our purpose with the Turks and Persians, since all have manifested the -same respect for the Beard, looking upon it as the perfection and -completion of man’s countenance and the type of freedom; and shaving as -a mark of debasement and slavery.[5] Mahomet, who sanctioned dyeing the -Beard, preferred that it should be of a cane colour, which was the hue -assigned by tradition to Abraham’s. One of the points of Persian heresy -is preferring a black Beard, and a particular cut; and about this -hair-splitting difference, they once waged a cruel war with the Uzbec -Tartars, in which they were accustomed to lay their enemies’ Beards as -trophies at the feet of the Shah. - -Footnote 5: - - “It is customary to shave the Ottoman Princes as a mark of subjection - to the reigning Sultan; and those who serve in the Seraglio have their - Beards shaven as a sign of servitude, and do not suffer it to grow - till the Sultan has set them at liberty.”—_Burder’s Oriental Customs._ - Volney says, “At length Ibrahim Bey suffered Ali his page to let his - Beard grow, _i.e._, gave him his freedom, for among the Turks to want - the Beard is thought only fit for slaves and women.” - -As instances of respect paid to the Beard, we may cite the common -Mahomedan oath “by the Beard of the Prophet!” and the form of -supplication, “by your Beard, or the life of your Beard.” The Turks will -point to theirs and say, “do you think this venerable Beard could lie?” -And a man’s testimony used to be so much measured by his Beard, that in -hiring a witness, length of this appendage was an indispensable -qualification. To touch another’s Beard, unless to kiss it respectfully, -is considered by all these people a great insult. When two friends meet, -to kiss it, sometimes on both sides, answers to our shake of the -hand—how are you? and “may God preserve your Beard!” is a form of -invoking a blessing on a friend. In the bosoms of their families the -Beard is treated as an object of reverential fondness—wife and children -kissing it with the most tender and respectful affection. To express -high value for a thing, they say, “it is worth more than one’s -Beard.”[6] - -Footnote 6: - - Dr. Wolff says, Mahomed Effendi told him “that the Mahomedans believed - that though Noah lived 1000 years, no hair of his blessed Beard fell - off, or became white; while that of the Devil consists only of one - long hair;” and the same Mahomed, wishing to compliment two - midshipmen, “hoped they would some day have fine long Beards like - himself.” - -“Shame on your Beard!” is a term of reproach, and “I spit on your -Beard!” an expression of the most profound contempt. When the Shah of -Persia, in 1826, was speaking to our Ambassador, (Sir J. Malcolm,) -concerning the Russians, to shew how low he esteemed them, he exclaimed, -“I spit on their Beards!”[7] - -Footnote 7: - - Niebuhr says, “I once saw, in a caravan, an Arab highly offended at a - man who had accidentally bespattered his Beard. It was with difficulty - he could be appeased, even though the offender humbly asked his - pardon, and kissed his Beard in token of submission.” Though I avoided - breaking the argument by its insertion under the account of the Jews, - it may be interesting to state, that Moses, in Numbers, orders a man - to be considered unclean for seven days, whose Beard has been defiled - in this way: and that David could scarcely have devised a more - efficient means to convince Achish of his madness, than the expedient - he adopted of allowing his saliva to descend upon his Beard. - -To cut off the Beard is considered a deep disgrace and degradation. The -noted Wahahee Chief Saoud was accustomed to shave the Beard as a -punishment for the gravest offences. He had long wished to purchase the -mare of a Sheikh of the Shahmanny tribe, but all his offers were -rejected. A Sheikh of the Kahtans, however, having been sentenced to -lose his hairy honors, when the barber appeared, exclaimed, “O Saoud, -take the mare of the Shahmanny as a ransom for my Beard!” The offer was -accepted, and a bargain struck with the owner of the mare for 2,500 -dollars, which he declared he would not have taken, nor any other sum, -had it not been to save the Beard of a noble Kahtan. - -Even when disease or accident renders necessary the removal of the whole -or part of the Beard, it is only at the last extremity that an Arab will -yield; and then he lives secluded, or if obliged to go out, wears a -thick black veil, until his chin can reappear “with all its pristine -honours blushing thick upon it.” - -Almost every Mahomedan carries a comb with him for the sole purpose of -arranging his Beard: this is often done, especially after prayers; when -the devotee usually remains sitting on his heels and industriously using -the comb. The hairs which fall are carefully collected, to be either -buried with the owner, or deposited previously in his tomb, after having -been first separately broken in order to release the guardian angels. - -To perfume and fumigate the Beard with incense is a common eastern -custom. - -In mourning, the Persians shave themselves; and Herodotus relates one -instance when they also cropped the manes and tails of their horses in -honor of their leader Mardonius. - -One wiseacre of a Sultan is said to have shaved his Beard, saying “his -councillors should never lead him by it, as they had done his -forefathers!” forgetting that he had still left them the convenient -handle of his nose—by which, as you know, ladies and gentlemen, people -have been led from time immemorial. Let me hope, therefore, no one will -cite this as an historical precedent for shaving. - -He was fortunately succeeded by wiser men, and the Sultan is yet -distinguished by a goodly Beard:[8] as is also the Shah of Persia, and -all the Arabs and their Chiefs. - -Footnote 8: - - It used to be considered one of the almost impossible feats of - Chivalry to pluck a hair from the Sultan’s Beard.—(May the Russians - find it quite so!) The romance of Oberon is founded on this notion, - and Shakspeare makes Benedict say in a spirit of bravado, “I’ll fetch - you a hair off the great Cham’s Beard.” (_i.e._ Khan of Tartary’s - Beard.) - - - GREEKS. - -The ancient Greeks were world-famous for their Beards. All Homer’s -heroes are bearded, and Nestor the Sage is described as stroking his as -a graceful prelusion to an oration. Saturn, Jupiter, Neptune, Pluto, -Mars, Vulcan, Mercury, are represented with Beards. Apollo is without, -as an emblem of perpetual youth. Hercules and the demigods are also well -furnished. And Æsculapius the God of Health,—significant fact!—is most -abundantly endowed. The mother of Achilles, when supplicating Jupiter, -touches his Beard with one hand, with the other his knee. - -As might be supposed from their hardy characteristics, the Spartans -especially cherished the Beard. When one Nicander was asked why? he -replied, “because we esteem it the ornament that preeminently -distinguishes man.” It being demanded of another why he wore so _long_ a -Beard? his noble reply was, “Since it is grown white, it incessantly -reminds me not to dishonor my old age.”[9] Plutarch, after mentioning -the bushy hair and Beard of the Spartan commander Lysander, says, “that -Lycurgus was of opinion that abundance of hair and Beard made those who -were fair, more so, and those who were ugly, more terrible to their -enemies.” Regarding shaving as a mark of slavish servitude, they -compelled their chief magistrates to shave their upper lips during their -term of office, to remind them that though administrators of the laws, -they were still subject to them. - -Footnote 9: - - The Rev. John More, of Norwich, a worthy clergyman in Elizabeth’s - reign, who is said to have had the longest and largest Beard of any - Englishman of his time, seems to have chosen this Spartan for his - model; since when asked to give a reason for it he replied, “that no - act of his life might be unworthy of the gravity of his appearance.” - And Baudinus, quoted by Pagenstecher, says, Frederick Taubman, the - celebrated German wit, humourist, and theologian, being asked the same - question answered, “in order that whenever I behold these hairs, I may - remember that I am no vile coward or old woman, but a man, called - Frederick Taubman.” - -The Greeks in general continued to wear the Beard till the decay of -Athenian virtue brought that free state into subjection to the -Macedonian Conqueror, who, according to Plutarch, ordered his soldiers -to shave, lest their Beards should afford a handle to their enemies. -This must have been when he was in one of his drunken fits, or he might -have had them trimmed like the old Greek warriors.[10] Be that as it -may, Greek freedom and Greek Beards expired together. - -Footnote 10: - - That the Beard, however, sometimes afforded a handle to an enemy in - ancient times, when swords, especially the Greek, were very short, is - admitted. And I possess an engraving from one of Raphael’s Vatican - Cartoons, where one soldier is represented in the act of cutting down - another whom he has seized by the Beard. He must be a poor master of - his weapon, however, who in modern times would allow a man to grasp - his Beard without being hewn down or run through in the process. - -Diogenes, cotemporary with Alexander, once asked a smooth-chinned -voluptuary whether he quarrelled with nature for making him a man -instead of a woman? And Phocion rebuking one who courted the people and -affected a long Spartan Beard, said to him, “if thou needs must flatter, -why didst thou not clip thy Beard?” - -It is a curious fact for those who resolve civilization into shaving, -that the only parties in ancient Greece who retained their Beards under -all changes were the Philosophers, or lovers of wisdom—they with whom -all that distinguished Greek intellect was a special study and -profession; who were in fact the most civilized portion of the -community. - -From the time of the Emperor Justinian the Greeks resumed the Beard, -which was worn by all the Greek Emperors down to the last, the -unfortunate Paleologus, who died fighting bravely at the taking of -Constantinople by the Turks. It was by these Emperors regarded as an -ensign of royalty—an attribute of kingly majesty. - - - ETRUSCANS—ROMANS. - -The Etruscans represented their gods with Beards, and wore them -themselves; as did the Romans. Every schoolboy recollects the awe -inspired to the invading Gauls when, on entering the Senate-house, they -saw the conscript Fathers sitting calm and immovable as the gods, for -which the Barbarians at first view took them, till one bolder than the -rest plucked at the Beard of the noble Marcus Papirius, who by -indignantly raising his staff, unconsciously gave the signal for the -murder of himself, and his venerable compatriots. - -During all the best ages of the Republic, while the old Roman virtue -retained something of its original vigour, and before it had been sapped -and undermined by the imported vices and effeminate customs of conquered -nations, Rome’s statesmen, heroes, priests and people all wore, and all -reverenced, the virile glories of the Beard! - -It was not till the year of Rome 454, about three centuries before our -era, that one of those corrupt Prætors, who usually returned laden with -foreign gold, and pampered with foreign luxury, imported a stock of -Barbers from Sicily; and that credulous gossip Pliny libels the younger -Scipio Africanus by stating—calumnious on dit!—“that he was the first -who shaved his whole Beard.” This is just one of those instances where a -foolish custom, like a bad piece of wit, is sought to be fathered on -some world-renowned name. - -Long after the above date, the Beard was only partially shaved or -trimmed; and the same word (tondere) is sometimes used to mean either. -Of course when once the fashion had set in, it was, as with us, -considered unbecoming to wear a Beard; and Marcus Livius on his return -from banishment, was compelled by the Censors to shave, before appearing -in the Senate. - -With the increasing growth of vice and effeminacy among this once hardy -race, the decreasing Beard kept pace.[11] Cæsar, the real founder of the -empire, by whom every kind of foppery and debauchery was indulged in as -a mask to deep schemes of ambition, of course shaved;[12] and having -done so, shaving continued to be the imperial fashion down to the time -of Hadrian, (whose bold Roman head I exhibited, as the first restorer of -manly beauty.) From his time most of the Emperors[13] wore it till -Constantine, who shaved out of superstition. His father had a noble -Beard. - -Footnote 11: - - Suetonius says, “he was excessively nice about his body, that he was - not only sheered and shaved, but plucked.” - -Footnote 12: - - Besides shaving, the Romans as they progressed in luxurious - effeminacy, used depilatories, tweezers and all sorts of contrivances - to make themselves as little like men and as much like women as - possible; and their satirists abound with passages impossible to quote - with decency on the causes and consequences of this abrogation of the - distinctive peculiarities of the two sexes. - -Footnote 13: - - Pagenstecher says, “one of the Emperors of Rome refused to admit to an - audience certain Ambassadors of the Veneti, because they had no - Beards.” - -Even after the custom of shaving was introduced, the first appearance of -the Beard was hailed with joy, and usually about the time of assuming -the toga; the “first fruits” of hair were solemnly consecrated—relict of -previous respect—to some god, as in the case of Nero,[14] who presented -his in a golden box, set with jewels, to the Capitoline Jupiter.[15] - -Footnote 14: - - The branch of the Roman family to which Nero belonged was called - Enobarbus, copper-coloured or red Beard; and the legend of the family - was, that the Dioscuri announced to one of their ancestors a victory, - and to confirm the truth of what was said, stroked his black hair and - Beard, and turned them red. Cn. Domitius, who was Censor with L. - Crassus the orator, “took” says Pagenstecher, “too much pride in his,” - and Crassus fired away the following epigram upon it. “Quid mirum si - barbam habet aeneam Domitius cum et os ferreum et cor habet plumbeum.” - (Where’s the wonder Domitius has a brazen Beard, when he has bones of - iron and a heart of lead.) Shakspeare (the _unlearned_!) who never - loses a characteristic, makes his Enobarbus, (who was great - grandfather of Nero, wore a Beard, as seen on his medals, and was a - fine bold warrior,) speak thus of Antony, under the fascination of - Cleopatra:— - - LEP. “Good Enobarbus, ’Tis a worthy deed, - And shall become you well, to entreat your Captain - To soft and gentle speech.” - - ENOB. “I shall entreat him - To answer like himself: if Cæsar move him, - Let Antony look over Cæsar’s head, - And speak as loud as Mars. _By Jupiter, - Were I the wearer of Antonius’ Beard, - I would not shave’t to-day._” - - This passage evidently associates the Beard with manly determination, - and shaving with the want of it, for subsequently Enobarbus speaks of - Antony’s effeminacy in these words:— - - “Our courteous Antony, - Whom ne’er the word of No woman heard speak, - _Being barber’d ten times o’er_, goes to the feast, - And for his ordinary pays his heart - For what his eyes eat only.” - -Footnote 15: - - Arcite in Chaucer’s Knight’s Tale thus devotes his Beard to Mars:— - - “And eke to this avow I wol me bind, - My Berd, my here that hangeth low adoun, - That never yet felt non offensioun - Of rasour, ne of shere, I wol thee yeve.” - -Shaving in token of grief was the custom of the early Romans; when, -however, that which had been considered a deprivation became a general -fashion, the Beard was allowed to grow in time of sorrow, to denote -personal neglect. - -The Roman Philosophers, like the Greek, cherished a long Beard as the -emblem of wisdom. The following anecdote shews that it was sometimes a -fallacious sign. One of the Emperors being pestered by a man in a long -robe and Beard, asked him what he was. “Do you not see that I am a -philosopher?” was the reply. “The cloak I see, and the Beard I see,” -said the Emperor, “but the philosopher, where is he?” - -I must not conclude this notice of Roman customs without mentioning the -instructive fact, that the slaves of the early Romans were shaved as a -mark of servitude, and not allowed to wear the distinctive sign of a -free man until emancipated. At a later period the slaves, as the most -manly, wore the Beard, and only shaved when entitled to be put on a -level with their debased and vicious masters! - - -[Illustration] - - ------------------------------------------------------------------------- - - - - - ECCLESIASTICAL HISTORY. - - -A BRIEF glance at Ecclesiastical History will furnish one or two -interesting matters. Most of the Fathers of the Church both wore and -approved of the Beard. Clement, of Alexandria, says, “nature adorned man -like the lion, with a Beard, as the index of strength and empire.” -Lactantius, Theodoret, St. Augustine, and St. Cyprian, are all eloquent -in praise of this natural feature: about which many discussions were -raised in the early ages of the Church, when matters of discipline -necessarily engaged much of the attention of its leaders. To settle -these disputes, at the 4th Council of Carthage, held A.D. 252, canon 44, -it was enacted “that a clergyman shall _not cherish his hair nor shave -his Beard_.” (Clericus nec comam nutriat nec barbam radat.) And Bingham -quotes an early letter, in which it is said of one who from a layman had -become a clergyman, “his habit, gait, modesty, countenance, and -discourse, were all _religious_, and _agreeably to these his hair was -short and his Beard long_;” shewing that in those early times St. Paul -was better understood than at a later date. - -Subsequently the Beard was alternately commended to the clergy for its -becoming gravity, or condemned from the ascetic notion that pride was -apt to lurk in a fine Beard. In some of the monasteries lay members wore -the Beard, while those in orders were shaved, and the hairs, remnant of -an earlier superstition, devoutly consecrated to God with special -prayers and imposing ceremonies. - -One order of the Cistercians were specially allowed to wear their -Beards, and were hence called “fratres barbati” or Bearded brethren. - -The military orders of the Church, as the Knights of St. John and the -Templars, were always full Bearded. - -To touch the Beard, was at one time a solemnity by which a godfather -acknowledged the child of his adoption. - -One of the fertile sources of dispute between the Roman and Greek -Churches has been this subject of wearing or not wearing the Beard. The -Greek Church, with a firm faithfulness which does credit to its -orthodoxy, has stood manfully by the early Church decisions and refused -to admit any shaven saint into its calendar, heartily despising the -Romish Church for its weakness in this respect. On the other hand, the -Popes, to mark the distinction between Eastern and Western christianity, -early introduced statutes “de radendis barbis,” or concerning shaving -the Beard. Here and there, however, a manly old fellow, like Pope Julius -II, who made Michael Angelo sculpture him with a drawn sword in his -hand, or a Cardinal, like Pole or Allen, and many Bishops, managed to -believe that faith and nature might be reconciled by taking a -comprehensive and truly Catholic view of both. - -The leading English and German Reformers wore their Beards; (if Luther -confined himself to a moustache, it was because his Monkish habit of -shaving was too strong for him,) and most of the Martyrs to the -Protestant Faith were burnt in their Beards. - - -[Illustration] - - ------------------------------------------------------------------------- - - - - - MODERN HISTORY. - - ------- - - - BRITONS. - - -THE Britons “like their neighbours the Gauls”[16] (two of whose heads -were shewn copied from Roman monuments,) were Bearded, though, probably, -for some purpose of distinction, their Chiefs, as stated by Cæsar and -others, had merely an enormous twisted moustache. The Druids and their -successors, the native British Clergy, regarded this natural covering as -adding to their dignity and gracing their office and their age.[17] - -Footnote 16: - - The Goths and Dacians, as seen on the Roman monuments, were Bearded; - and the ancient Hungarians, Raumer states, wore long Beards adorned - with gold and jewels. The Catti also were accustomed not to trim the - hair of the head or Beard till they had proved their manliness by - slaying an enemy in battle. - -Footnote 17: - - One of the Legends of King Arthur mentions a giant who made “a great - exhibition of domestic manufacture,” consisting of a “cloak fringed - with the Beards of kings.” - - - SAXONS. - -The Anglo-Saxons brought their Beards with them which they preferred of -the forked shape, and this again might be either two-pronged, or -three-pronged, or plutonian and neptunian. - -St. Augustine is figured with his Beard on his appearance to convert -these Islands in the sixth century. His followers must soon have shaved, -because a writer of the seventh century, complains that “the Clergy had -grown so corrupt as to be distinguished from the Laity less by their -actions than by their want of Beards.” The illustrious Alfred was so -careful of the Beards of his subjects, that he inflicted the then heavy -fine of twenty shillings on any one maliciously injuring the Beard of -another. The Danes who invaded this country were Bearded. Fosbrooke -says, some of them wore Beards with six forks, and history mentions -Sueno the fork-beard.[18] - -Footnote 18: - - Many princes have borne the title of Bearded—as the Greek Emperor - Constantine Pogonatus, Count Godfrey, the Emperor Barbarossa, and - Eberhard Duke of Wirtemberg in the reign of Maximilian, whose wisdom - might truly be said to have grown with his Beard, and on whom the - following verse was made:— - - “Hic situs est cui _barba_ dedit cognomina Princeps, - Princeps Teutonici gloria magna soli.” - (Here is a Prince whose Beard gave his surname, - A Prince the glory of the land Almayne.) - -During this period, the French monarchy was growing. Its first kings -held the Beard as sacred, and ornamented it with gold. Their subjects -were proud of it as marking them out to be free men in contradistinction -to the degenerate Roman population. Alaric touched the Beard of Clovis -as a solemn mode of confirming a treaty, and acknowledging Clovis as his -godfather. The Merovingian Dynasty were Bearded. Then came Charlemagne -who swore by his Beard, as did Otho the Great and Barbarossa, Emperors -of Germany, after him. The following story shows the faith of those -early times in the sacredness of this form of adjuration. A peasant, who -had sworn a false oath on the relics of two holy Martyrs, having taken -hold of his Beard, as further confirmation, heaven to punish him, caused -the whole to come off in his hand! - -Charlemagne also enacted that any one who should call another red beard -or red-fox, should pay a heavy fine; a law explained by a prejudice -embodied in two German proverbs.[19] - -Footnote 19: - - Rothbart nie gut wart - Rothbart Schelmen art. - - Of red beard no good heard - Red beard—a knave to be feared; - -and carried to its climax in the anecdote of a Spanish nobleman, who, -having accused a man of some crime, and the latter being proved -innocent, exclaimed, “if he did not do it he was plotting it, for the -rascal has a red beard!” Those who need consolation under this calumny, -traceable probably to an old notion, derived from his name, that Judas -Iscariot had a red beard, I am fortunately able to refer to a sermon[20] -on that Arch-Traitor, full of wit, humor, pathos, and imagination, by -the celebrated Abraham St. Clara, where red beards are nobly vindicated, -and the following noted instances cited:— - -Footnote 20: - - Judas der Ertz. Schelm. - - Several illustrious Romans, - The Emperor Barbarossa; - Hanquinus Rufus, King of the Goths; - Bishops Gaudentius and Gandulfius; - The Martyrs Dominicus, Maurinus, and Savinianus. - -During the distractions to which Charlemagne’s empire was subject after -his decease, the Northmen appeared, and a band, under Rollo, having been -converted and settled in what is now Normandy, became known in English -History as the Normans; with whom an increasing intimacy having sprung -up in the reign of Edward the Confessor, (whose head was shewn from the -Bayeux tapestry,) a Norman party was gradually formed at court and -Norman customs, one of which was shaving, partially adopted. Harold, as -representative of the real old English party, wore his Beard as shown by -a cotemporary MSS. illuminator; but William the Conqueror, and most of -his followers, are figured only with a moustache and their back hair -close cropped or shaven. It was this _barbarous_ fashion that induced -Harold’s spies to report to their master that the invaders were an army -of Priests. - -William is said to have attempted to compel the sturdy Saxons to shave, -but many of them left the kingdom rather than part with their Beards. In -this, as in other matters, Anglo-Saxon firmness ultimately conquered the -conquerors, and the Norman sovereigns gave in to the national custom. As -early as Henry I, that is _only 44 years from William’s landing_, we -learn that Bishop Serlo met that monarch on his arrival in Normandy, and -made a long harangue on the enormities of the times, especially long -hair and bushy Beards, which he said they would not clip, lest the -stumps should wound the ladies’ faces. Henry, with repentant obedience, -submitted his hairy honors to the Bishop, who with pious zeal, taking a -pair of shears from his trunk, trimmed king and nobles with his own -hand. This conduct of the Bishop is curiously illustrated by a -cotemporary decree of the Senate of Venice, of the year 1102, commanding -all long Beards to be cut off in consequence of a Bull of Pope Paschal -II, denouncing the vanity of long hair, founded on a misinterpretation -of 1st Corinthians, xii, 14,[21] which applies only to the hair of the -head. On this text a sermon might be written though scarcely preached, -which would “a tale unfold, would harrow up the soul.”[22] - -Footnote 21: - - A writer in Dickens’ Household Words says Pope Anacletus, (query 1st - or 2nd) was the first who introduced the custom of shaving. - -Footnote 22: - - In this and in other places I am obliged to leave under a veil of - obscure allusion, arguments of thrilling force, not only from ancient - but from our own history: matters not to be met with in ordinary - histories; but too abundant in the pages of satirists and moralists, - who were hardy enough to lash the prevalent follies and vices of the - times in which they lived. - -The stout king Stephen wore his Beard, and a Saxon chronicler complains -that in the civil wars of his time, in order to extort the wealth of -peaceable people, they were “hung up by their Beards;” a proof the -latter were long and strong. Stephen’s cotemporary, Frederick the 1st of -Germany, to prevent quarrelling, laid a very heavy fine on any one who -pulled another’s Beard. - -Henry II, is said to have had a vision in which all classes of his -subjects reproached him in his sleep for his tyranny and oppression. A -cotemporary MSS. illuminator, having fortunately designed several -cartoons, really much more expressive than some in the New Houses of -Parliament, from which we learn that the faces of all classes of the -people and of the Clergy then appeared as nature made them, I selected -one, representing the leaders of the distressed agriculturalists of that -remote period, because while it illustrated my subject, it seemed to -possess great interest for that patient and much enduring class. One -could almost imagine the stout fellow with the one-sided Saxon spade, to -be urging on the heroes with the pitchfork and scythe, nearly in the -words of Marmion, - - “Charge, Sibthorp,[23] charge! On, Stanley, on!” - -Footnote 23: - - I trust my honest and uncompromising brother Beard will pardon the - liberty I have taken with his name. No one can be a more sincere - admirer than myself of the manly way in which he maintains his - opinions on all occasions, and the humorous kindness of disposition - which renders him beloved in private and in public. I should always - esteem him as a public man, were it only for his long and - single-handed fight against that economical iniquity—that suicidal tax - on prudence and foresight, and bounty on improvidence—the Fire - Insurance Duty! - -Henry’s Queen Eleanor had been previously the wife of Louis VII, of -France, who having been persuaded by his Priests to shave off his Beard, -so disgusted Eleanor that she obtained a divorce.[24] - -Footnote 24: - - “She had,” says D’Israeli, “for her marriage dower the rich province - of Poitou and Guyenne; and this was the origin of those wars which for - 300 years ravaged France, and cost the French three million of men. - All which probably had never occurred had Louis VII not been so rash - as to crop his head and shave his Beard, by which he became so - disgustful in the eyes of our Queen Eleanor.” - -Richard the Lion-hearted was Bearded like a lion, and though he was so -absorbed in the Crusades that he did not redress, yet he acknowledged -the justice of the complaints of the celebrated Longbeard, “Earl of -London and King of the Poor,” who did honor to his Beard by resisting -oppression, and perished, after an heroic struggle, the victim of -cowardice and treachery. The monuments of Roger, Bishop of Sarum, and -Andrew, Abbot of Peterborough, shew that Bishops wore the Beard, and -Abbots and Monks shaved in this reign. - -John had what was called “a Judas’ Beard,” of which his actions were -every way worthy. Fortunately, the bold Barons outbearded him, and Magna -Charta was the result. His son, Henry III, had a moderate Beard, and the -longest reign till George III. Edward I, shewed the Scots what a long -Beard could do with long shanks, and a long head to back it.[25] This -king has been called the English Justinian, both he and the Roman -Emperor being noted for improving the laws, and cherishing their Beards. -Edward the 2nd’s Beard, like his character, was more ornamental than -strong, and his reign is chiefly memorable for the composition of that -favorite old song quoted by Shakspeare, “’Tis merry in hall, when Beards -wag all!” - -Footnote 25: - - No true Scotchman would pardon me if I omitted to note that the brave - Wallace had “a most brave Beard.” - -Edward the 3rd’s bold Beard spread terror in Scotland and France, and -that of his son, the Black Prince—young as he died—was an apt type of -his “prowess in the tented field.” - -Richard the 2nd, with all his faults, was neither deficient in Beard nor -in courage—the latter shewn in his meeting with Wat Tyler, and his -defence against his assassins. Henry IV, the crafty Bolingbroke, had a -chin cover, in whose every curl lurked an intrigue, of which his son, -Henry V, who was made of other metal, was so ashamed, we presume, that -he wore in penitence a shaven chin throughout his ten years’ reign, as -may be seen by his monument in Westminster Abbey, the remains of which -still exist. - -Shaving continued partially in fashion in Henry the 6th’s reign, who -himself in later life was Bearded like a Philosopher, accustomed to -moralize over the ups and downs of life, of which he had no common -share. Edward the 4th shaved out of foppery; as did that smooth-faced -rascal, Richard III, who “could smile and smile and be a villain.” Henry -the 7th shaved himself and fleeced his people. - -As may be seen in MSS. illuminations, and as we read in Chaucer and -elsewhere, the majority of the people stuck to their Beards, -uninfluenced by the fluctuations of court fashions. The poet, who was -born in Edward the 3rd’s time, and died in Henry the 4th’s, speaks of -“the merchant’s forked Beard;” “the Franklin’s white as a daisy;” “the -shipman’s shaken by many a tempest;” “the miller’s red as a fox, and -broad as though it were a spade;” the Reeve’s close trimmed; the -Sompnour’s piled; and ends by a contemptuous allusion to the Pardonere -with his small voice: - - “No Beard had he, nor never none should have, - As smooth it was as it were newe shave, &c.” - -Henry VIII, as you may still see on many sign boards, for which his -bluff, bloated face is so well adapted, had his Beard close clipped. -Once he swore to Francis the 1st that he would never cut it till he had -visited the latter, who swore the same; and when long Beards had become -the fashion at the French Court, Sir Thomas Bulleyn was obliged to -excuse Henry’s bad faith, by alleging that the Queen of England felt an -insuperable antipathy to a bushy chin, which, from the known considerate -conduct of Henry to his wives, must have been a very plausible plea! Sir -T. Moore shaved previous to his imprisonment. His Beard being then -allowed to grow, he conceived such an affection for it, that before he -laid his head on the block he carefully put it on one side, remarking -“that it at least was guiltless of treason, and ought not to be -punished.” - -Although Francis I, and his Court, cherished their Beards, the -Chancellor Duprat advised the imposition of a tax on the Beards of the -clergy, and promised the king a handsome revenue. The bishops and -wealthier clergy paid the tax and saved their Beards; but the poorer -ministers were not so fortunate. In the succeeding reign, the clergy -determined on revenge; so when Duprat (son of the Chancellor) was -returning in triumph from the council of Trent, to take possession of -the bishopric of Claremont, the dean and canons closed the brass gates -of the chancel, through which they were seen armed with shears and -razor, soap and basin, and pointing to the statutes, “de radendis -barbis.” Notwithstanding his remonstrances, they refused to induct him -unless he sacrificed his Beard, which was the handsomest of his time. He -is said to have retired to his castle, and died of vexation. - -In the same reign, John de Morillers was also objected to by the Chapter -of Orleans; but the cunning fellow produced a letter from the king -stating, that the statutes must be dispensed with in his case, as his -majesty intended to employ him in countries where he could not appear -without a Beard. - -At the court of the rival of Francis, Charles the 5th, who had himself a -right royal covering to his chin, lived John Mayo, his painter, a very -tall man, but with a Beard so long, that he could stand upon it; and in -which he took much pride, suspending it by ribbons to his button-hole. -Sometimes this mass of hair, by command of the Emperor, was unfastened -at table, and doors and windows being thrown open, the imperial mind -took intense delight in seeing it blown into the faces of his grimacing -courtiers. Another noted German Beard was that of a merchant of Braunau -in Bavaria, which was so long, that it would have draggled on the -ground, had it not been incased by its proud owner in a beautiful velvet -bag.[26] - -Footnote 26: - - Southey in “The Doctor” mentions the Beard of Dominico d’Ancona, as - the crown or King of Beards, - - A Beard the most singular - Man ever described in verse or prose; - - and of which Berni says, “that the Barber ought to have felt less - reluctance in cutting the said Dominico’s throat, than in cutting off - so incomparable a Beard.” But Southey is outdone by a story told by - Dr. Ehle in his work on the hair, where mention is made of two - seven-foot giants with Beards down to their toes, at the court of one - of the German sovereigns. They both fell in love with the same woman, - and their master decided that whichever should succeed in putting his - rival into a sack, should have the maiden. One of them sacked the - other after a long duel before the whole court, and married the girl. - That the pair lived happily afterwards, as the Novelists say, is - proved by their having as many signs of affection as there are in the - Zodiac; and it is worthy of remark, both physiologically and - astrologically, that the whole twelve were born under one sign, - Gemini. - -The promising Edward the 6th died before his Beard developed; his sister -Mary’s husband had one of the true Spanish cut. - -In the time of “good Queen Bess,” when - - “The grave Lord Chancellor[27] led the dance, - And seal and mace tripped down before him,” - -Footnote 27: - - It surely will not be denied by any Judge of taste, that the - Chancellor and other legal dignitaries would look more dignified in - their own hair and with Beards of “reverend grey,” than in the present - absurd, fantastic, unnatural and unbecoming frosted ivy bushes, with a - black crow’s nest in the centre, in which Minerva might more readily - mistake them for stray specimens of her favorite bird, the owl, than - for learned, intelligent, and logical “sages of the law.” - -she, who was no prude, and had a right royal sympathy with every thing -manly and becoming, surrounded herself with men, who to the most -punctilious courtesy, joined the most adventurous spirit; and the Beard, -as might have been expected, grew and flourished mightily. Hence we are -not surprised at the wonderful efforts made by her subjects in arms, and -arts, and literature, so as to make her reign an era to which we look -back with patriotic pride, and from which our best writers still draw as -from a well of deep perennial flow.[28] - -Footnote 28: - - Although an attempt was made in this reign to restrain the growth of - legal Beards by some pragmatical heads of Lincoln’s Inn, who passed a - resolution “that no fellow of that house should wear a Beard of above - a fortnight’s growth;” and although transgression was punished with - fine, loss of commons, and final expulsion, such was the vigorous - resistance to this act of tyranny, that in the following year all - previous orders respecting Beards were repealed. _Percy Anecdotes._ - - About the same time also in Germany the moustache was partially - substituted for the Beard, as appears by Berckemej’s Europ. Antiq. p. - 294, who under the year 1564 says, the Archbishop Sigismund introduced - in Magdeburgh the custom of shaving off the full Beard and wearing - instead a moustache. The year in which this Beard-reformation - (de-formation?) happened, was contained in this pentameter— - - “Longa sIgIsMVnDo barba IVbente perIt.” - “Sigismund commanding, the long Beard perished in - MDLVV (= X) IIII. or 1564.” - -A feeble reflection of some of the heads of this period were exhibited -on the walls of the lecture room, as the sagacious Burleigh; the -adventurous Raleigh; the rash but brave Essex; Nottingham, the High -Admiral who scattered the Armada; Gresham the Merchant Prince, who found -his Beard no hindrance to business; and the Poet of Poets, whether -ancient or modern, Shakspeare. - -As might be expected, the dramatic literature of the time is full of -allusions to that feature which men still honored and admired. Lear can -find no more pathetic outburst of insulted majesty, in addressing his -vile daughter Goneril, than the words— - - “Art not ashamed to look upon this Beard?” - -and when Regan insults the faithful Gloster, the latter exclaims— - - “By the kind Gods! ’Tis most ignobly done - To pluck me by the Beard!” - -In a more mocking humour, Shakspeare makes Cressida say of Troilus’s -chin, “alas poor chin! many a wart is richer!” And Rosalind to Orlando, -“I will pardon you for not having a neglected Beard, for truly your -having in Beard is a younger brother’s revenue.” - -Then as characteristics, we have the black, white, straw-colored, -orange-tawney, purple-in-grain, and perfect yellow. The soldier Bearded -like a pard; the justice with Beard of formal cut; the sexton’s hungry -Beard; and the Beard of the general’s cut; and that fine passage, which -you will pardon my quoting, if only to supply an obvious correction -naturally lost sight of by _Beardless_ commentators. If instead of the -puerile conceit, _stairs_ of sand, we read _layers_ of sand, we not only -restore metaphorical beauty but literal truth; for what is more -deceitful than a layer of sand, and the Beard is “a layer of hair.” - - “There is no one so simple but assumes - Some mark of virtue on his outward parts; - How many cowards, whose hearts are all as false - As _layers_ of sand, wear yet upon their chins - The Beards of Hercules and frowning Mars, - Who, inward searched, have livers white as milk: - And these assume but valour’s excrement - To make themselves redoubted.”[29] - -Footnote 29: - - Pagenstecher asks “which was the city where Beard and foot made the - magistrate?” and then proceeds gravely to relate that the inhabitants - of Hardenberg had formerly the singular custom of electing their - mayors or burgomasters by assembling at a round table, where while - some of the town council were employed in inspecting their Beards, - others were engaged in estimating their feet—the biggest Beard and - largest foot being “called to the scarlet.” And rightly too! for the - Beard denoted authority and wisdom, and the large foot an - understanding likely to take grave steps when needed. As containing a - valuable hint to modern corporations to look well to the essential - points of a mayor—too often overlooked—I trust, this note upon note - will be pardoned. - -The witty Robert Green, published in 1592, a curious dialogue,[30] from -which we get a glimpse into a Barber’s shop of Queen Elizabeth’s time. -Cloth-breeches complains of the Barber’s attention to Velvet-breeches in -these terms. “His head being once dressed, which requires in combing and -brushing some two hours; then being curiously washed with no worse than -a camphor ball, you descend as low as his Beard, and ask whether he -please to be shaven or no? whether he will have his peake cut short and -sharp, amiable like an innamorato, or broad pendant like a spade, or le -terrible, like a warrior or soldado? whether he will have his crates cut -low like a juniper bush, or his subercles taken away with a razor? If it -be his pleasure to have his appendices pruned, or his moustaches -fostered to turn about his ears like the branches of a vine, or cut down -to the lip with the Italian lash, to make him look like a half-faced -bauby in brass. These quaint terms Master Barber, you greet Master -Velvet-breeches withal, and at every word a snap with your scissors and -a cringe with your knee; whereas, when you come to poor Cloth-breeches, -you either cut his Beard at your own pleasure, or else in disdain ask -him if he will be trimmed with Christ’s cut, round like the half of a -Holland cheese, mocking both Christ and us.”[31] - -Footnote 30: - - “Quip for an Upstart Courtier.” - -Footnote 31: - - A Ben Jonson, among other allusions to the Beard, has the following:— - - I am heartily grieved a Beard of your grave length - Should be so over-reach’d. (“The Fox.”) - - In his Alchemist _Subtle_ telling _Drugger’s_ fortune says— - - ——“This summer - He will be of the clothing of his company, - And next spring called to the scarlet.” - - FACE. _What and so little Beard!_[32] - -Footnote 32: - - Lilly in one of his Dramas makes a Barber say to his customer, “How, - sir, will you be trimmed? Will you have a Beard like a spade or a - bodkin? A penthouse on your upper lip or an ally on your chin? Your - moustaches sharp at the ends like shoemaker’s awls, or hanging down to - your mouth like goat’s flakes?” - -In the reign of James the 1st, Beards continued in fashion, and I -extract two out of many passages from Beaumont and Fletcher’s plays; the -first being, not excepting even that of Butler’s Hudibras, the most -humourous description of a Beard in the language. A banished prince in -disguise, having been elected “King of the Beggars” on account of his -Beard; Higgen the Orator of the Troop proceeds in this fashion:— - - “I then presaged thou shortly wouldst be king, - And now thou art so. But what need presage - To us, that might have read it in thy Beard, - As well as he that chose thee! By the Beard - Thou wert found out and marked for sovereignty. - O happy Beard! but happier Prince, whose Beard - Was so remarked as marked out our Prince - Not bating us a hair. Long may it grow, - And thick and fair, that who lives under it - May live as safe as under Beggar’s Bush, - Of which _it_ is the thing—_that_ but the type. - This is the Beard—the bush—or bushy Beard, - Under whose gold and silver reign ’twas said, - So many ages since, we all should smile! - No impositions, taxes, grievances, - Knots in a state, and whips unto a subject, - Lie lurking in this Beard, but all combed out.” - -In his Queen of Corinth we learn that— - - “The Roman T, your T-Beard is the fashion, - And twifold doth express the enamoured courtier - As full as your _fork carving_ doth the traveller.” - -The last line alluding to Coryate the traveller’s recent introduction of -the dinner-fork from Italy. - -Of this Roman T-Beard another writer humorously says— - - “The Roman T, - In its bravery, - Doth first itself disclose: - - But so high it turns, - That oft it burns - With the flame of a torrid nose.” - -and then adds— - - “The soldier’s Beard - Doth match in this herd - In figure like a spade; - - With which he will make - His enemies quake - To think their grave is made.” - -In 1610, died Henry IV, of France, whose Beard is said “to have diffused -over his countenance a majestic sweetness and amiable openness;” his son -Louis XIII,[33] ascending the throne while yet a minor, the courtiers -and others, to keep him in countenance, began to shave, leaving merely -the tuft called a mouche or royal. Sully, however, the famous minister -of Henry, stoutly refused to adopt the effeminate custom. Being sent for -to court, and those about the king having mocked at his old-fashioned -Beard, the duke indignantly turned to Louis and said, “Sire! when your -father of glorious memory did me the honor to hold a consultation on -grave and important business, the first thing he did was to order out of -the room all the buffoons and stage dancers of his court!” About this -time also, Marshal Bassompierre having been released from a long -imprisonment, declared the chief alteration he found was, “that the men -had lost their Beards and the horses their tails.” - -Footnote 33: - - “In this reign, whiskers however attained to a high degree of favour - at the expense of the expiring Beard, and continued so under Louis - XIV, who, with all the great men of his court, took a great pride in - wearing them. In those days of gallantry, it was no uncommon thing for - a lover to have his whiskers turned up, combed and pomatumed by his - mistress; and a man of fashion was always provided with every - necessary article for this purpose, especially whisker wax.” _Percy - Anecdotes._ - -Under our first Charles,[34] the sides of the face were often shaven, -and the Beard reduced to the moustache, and a long chin-tuft, as in the -portrait of that monarch, retaining however still some of its former -gracefulness. As the contest grew hotter between Cavalier and Roundhead, -doubtless some of the latter cropped chin as well as head; though others -are said to have been so careful of their Beards, as to provide them -with pasteboard night-caps to prevent the hairs being rumpled. - -Footnote 34: - - D’Israeli quotes an author of this reign, who in his “Elements of - Education” says, “I have a favourable opinion of that young gentleman - who is _curious in fine moustachios_. The time he employs in - adjusting, dressing and curling them, is no lost time; _for the more - he contemplates his moustachios, the more his mind will cherish and be - animated by masculine and courageous notions_.” - - D’Israeli also states, that the grandfather of Mrs. Thomas, the - “Corinna of Dryden,” was very nice in the mode of that age, his valet - being some hours every morning in _starching his Beard and curling his - whiskers_, during which time he was always read to. - -In one instance it was worn long for a sign, as we see by the following -verse— - - “This worthy knight was one that swore - He would not cut his Beard, - ’Till this ungodly nation was - From kings and bishops cleared: - - Which holy vow he firmly kept, - And most devoutly wore - A grizzly meteor on his face, - ’Till they were both no more.”[35] - -Footnote 35: - - Taylor, the Water Poet, who lived from the end of Elizabeth to nearly - the end of the Commonwealth, thus humorously describes the various - fashions of this appendage. - - “Now a few lines to paper I will put, - Of men’s Beards strange and variable cut, - In which there’s some that take as vain a pride, - As almost in all other things beside: - Some are reaped most substantial like a brush, - Which makes a natural wit known by the bush; - And in my time of some men I have heard, - Whose wisdom hath been only wealth and Beard: - Many of these the proverb well doth fit, - Which says _bush_ natural more hair than wit: - Some seem as they were starched stiff and fine, - Like to the bristles of some angry swine; - And some, to set their loves’ desire on edge, - Are cut and prun’d like to a quickset hedge. - Some like a spade, some like a fork, some square, - Some round, some mow’d like stubble, some stark bare, - Some sharp, stiletto-fashion,[36] dagger-like, - That may, with whispering, a man’s eyes outpike. - Some with the hammer cut or Roman T, - Their Beards extravagant reform’d must be; - Some with the quadrate, some triangle-fashion, - Some circular, some oval in translation; - Some perpendicular in longitude, - Some like a thicket for their crassitude. - The heighths, depths, breadths, triform, square, oval, round, - And rules geometrical in Beards are found.” - -Footnote 36: - - “The stiletto Beard - It makes me afeard - It is so sharp beneath: - - For he that doth wear - A dagger in his face, - What must he wear in his sheath.” - _Old Author._ - - “Who make sharp Beards and little breeches Deities.” - _Beaumont and Fletcher._ - -Under Charles the 2nd, the Beard dwindled into the mere moustache, and -then vanished. And when we consider the French apery of that un-English -court, it is no wonder the Beard appeared too bold and manly an ensign -to be tolerated. It went out first among the upper classes in London, -and by slow degrees the sturdy country squires and yeomen also yielded -their free honors to the slavish effeminate fashion, which, by the force -of example, descended even to the working classes, on whom it imposed -new burdens and some bodily diseases from which their hardy frames had -been hitherto exempt. It is to be hoped, that when any one for the -future talks about the Beard being a _foreign_ fashion, he will be -reminded that it is a good old English natural fashion, and that the -present custom of shaving was borrowed from France, at a time when we -had no credit to borrow anything else, seeing that king, courtiers, and -patriots, were all the pensioned dependents of the French monarch! The -sooner therefore we cease to shave, the sooner shall we wipe out the -remembrance of a disgraceful period of our history! - -One amusing proof that the Beard continued to be worn by the country -people after its decline about the court, is afforded by an anecdote of -the notorious Judge Jeffries, who, in his browbeating way, thus -addressed a party before him. “If your conscience be as large as your -Beard, fellow! it must be a swinging one.” To which the witness replied, -“If consciences be measured by Beards, I am afraid your lordship has -none at all.” - -In 1700, Charles V ascended the throne of Spain, with a smooth chin; and -his example was gradually followed, though the popular feeling has been -condensed into the proverb—“Since we have lost our Beards, we have lost -our souls;” and no one can question that loss of Beard and empire in -that country have singularly coincided. - -Two brief anecdotes will shew the sense of honor which formerly resided -in Spanish and Portuguese Beards. - -Cid Rai Diaz dying, a spiteful Jew stole into the room to do what he -durst not when Diaz was alive—pluck the noble Spaniard’s Beard! As he -stooped for the purpose, the body started up and drew the sword lying in -state by its side. The Jew fled horror-struck; the corpse smiled grimly, -and resumed its repose; and the Jew turned Christian. - -When the brave John de Castro had taken the Indian fortress of Dieu, -being in want of supplies, he pledged one of his moustaches for a -thousand pistoles, saying “all the gold in the world cannot equal the -value of this natural ornament of my valour.” The inhabitants of Goa, -especially the ladies, were so struck with this magnaminous sacrifice, -that they raised the money and redeemed the pledge. - -The last European nation to lay aside the Beard was the Russian, in -whose ancient code it was enacted that whoever plucks hair from -another’s Beard shall be fined four times as much as for cutting off a -finger. Peter the Great, (who always remained a semi-savage), like many -other half-informed reformers, sought to accomplish his objects by -arbitrary measures rather than by moral persuasion. Having, when in the -west, seen unbearded faces, he jumped to the conclusion that absence of -Beard was a necessary part of civilization; forgetting that a shaven -savage is a savage still. He therefore ordered all his subjects to -shave, imposing a tax of one hundred roubles on all nobles, gentlemen, -tradesmen, and artizans, and a copeck on the lower classes. Great -commotions were the result; but Peter was obstinate and made a crusade -with scissors and razor, much resembling a Franco-African Razzia, which -you know means a clean shave of everything with very dirty hands! Some, -to avoid disgrace, parted with their Beards voluntarily, but all -preserved the hairs to be buried in their coffins; the more -superstitious believing that unless they could present theirs to St. -Nicholas, he would refuse them admission to heaven as Beardless -Christians. - -One of the most difficult tasks was to deal with the army; in this, -Peter proceeded with characteristic cunning. Through the agency of the -priests, the soldiers were told that they were going to fight the Turks, -who wore Beards, and that their patron saint St. Nicholas would not be -able to protect his beloved Russians, unless they consented to -distinguish themselves by removing their Beards! You see how stale are -the Czar’s late tricks! Convinced by this pious fraud, the credulous -soldiers obeyed the imperial mandate. The next war, however, was against -the Swedes, and the soldiers, who had suffered severely from shaving, -turned the tables upon the priests, and said, “the Swedes have no -Beards, we must therefore let ours grow again, lest, as you say, the -holy Nicholas should not know us!” - -It is a note-worthy historical fact, which shews the danger arising from -discarding the natural for the artificial, that as _Beards died out, -false hair came in_. A mountain of womanish curls rested on the head, -and was made to fall in effeminate ringlets over neck and shoulders, -while the whole face was kept as smooth, and smug, and characterless as -razor could make it. This renders it so disagreeable a task to look -through a series of Kneller’s portraits, who, clever as he was, could -not impart the freedom and vigour of nature to this absurd fashion. A -portrait of Addison,[37] was shewn as an illustration, because, as has -been seen, though he complied with the mode, he was occasionally favored -with visions of better times, past and to come.[38] - -Footnote 37: - - I cannot refrain from alluding in a note to a curious fact. On the day - this Lecture was given, a little boy was brought to look at the - portraits just after they were hung. I said to him, “Edward, which - face do you like best?” He instantly touched the portrait of Addison, - and said, “that’s the best woman,” and “that’s the best man!” pointing - to the well-bearded face of Leonardo da Vinci. - -Footnote 38: - - That Southey had the same compunctious visitings as Addison, appears - clearly enough, for while in his Doctor he compares “shaving at home” - with “slavery abroad;” states that “a good razor is more difficult to - meet with, than a good wife;” denounces the practice “as preposterous - and irrational,” as “troublesome, inconvenient,” and attended with - “discomfort, especially in frosty weather and March winds;” places it - on an equality with the curse pronounced on Eve; and concludes with - the opinion that “if the daily shavings of one year could be put into - one shave, the operation would be more than flesh and blood could - bear;” he has nothing to say in favour of shaving, but that it - encourages Barbers, compels the shaver to some moments of calm thought - and reflection, and enables him to draw lessons from the looking glass - that nobody with razor in hand ever thought of. These words in another - place give a key to his real opinion. “If I wore a Beard,” he writes, - “I would cherish it as the Cid Campeador did his, for my pleasure. I - would regale it on a Summer’s day with rose-water, and without making - it an idol, I should sometimes offer incense to it with a pastille, or - with lavender and sugar. My children, when they were young enough for - such blandishments, would have delighted to comb and stroke and curl - it, and my grandchildren in their time would have succeeded to the - same course of mutual endearment.” - - See also Leigh Hunt’s humourous paper on Lie-abeds in the Indicator, - where he calls “shaving a villainous and unnecessary custom.” - -To the reign of false curls, succeeded that still more egregious -outrage—that climax of coxcombry—powder, pomatum, and pigtails! The -former to give the snows of age to the ruddy face of youth; the latter -being, I suppose, an attempt of some bright genius to outdo nature, - - By hanging a stiff black tail behind, - Instead of a flowing beard before, - As if, by this ensign, the world to remind, - How wise it had grown since old father Noah. - -This was the period when every breeze was a Zephyr, every maid a Chlöe, -every woman a Venus, and every fat squinting child a Cupid! Later German -critics even christen the writers of this school, “the Pigtail -Poets.”[39] - -Footnote 39: - - Seume, a German poet of a better school, in his travels says, “To-day - I threw my powder apparatus out of window, when will the day come that - I can send my shaving apparatus after it!” - -The first French Revolution made an end of all this trumpery, and though -Alison and other professed historians have not classed the event among -the good things flowing from that fearful flood of blood and blasphemy, -it was not one of the least, and society cannot rejoice too much at -being delivered from the example of systematic frippery, frivolity, and -tricked-out vice of the later French Sovereigns, imitated as they were -by most of the petty puppet Princes of Germany— - - Each lesser ape in his small way, - Playing his antics like the greater. - -About the rise of the first Napoleon to power, a more simple, severe, -and classic taste, was beginning to prevail, and this dictated a return -to the Beard. Under the military despotism, however, of that Emperor, -moustaches were forbidden to civilians, and the Beard restrained to that -petty, hairy imitation of a reversed triangle—called after its reviver, -who never personally wore it—the _imperial_, as if to denote to the -people that they were to have the smallest possible share in the -_empire_. - -With every attempt at freedom on the Continent, the Beard re-appears; it -was one of the most effective standards in the war of freedom, when -Germany rose against Napoleon. In 1830, it was partially revived in -France, and later still it has made many a perjured continental -monarch[40] “quake and tremble in his capital,” and reminded him that in -spite of neglected promises and false oaths, the reign of injustice -“hangs but on a hair,” of which the police will not always be able to -check the free growth. - -Footnote 40: - - One hardly knows which is the most detestable, the canting hypocrisy - of Prussian constitutional pretence,—the more open poltroonery of - Neapolitan despotism—or the paternal care to prevent even the buddings - of free thought as in Austria, where I can state from my own knowledge - that Schiller’s works were seized as contraband on the Hungarian - frontier, and a party in the Austrian service who had attempted to - defend the conduct of the government at a Table d’Hôte was sent for by - the head of the police, and when to excuse himself he alleged he was - speaking for the government, was replied to—“Young man, the government - want no defence—no discussion—and your wisest course is to be silent!” - -I have now merely to notice very briefly, four modern objections to the -Beard. - -I. “_That it is less cleanly than shaving._” To this, the answer is, -that depends upon the wearer; and it will take less time to keep clean, -than to shave, especially where, as in England, every one washes the -face more than once a day. Besides, if this were an argument, we had -better shave the head and eyebrows as well. - -II. “_That it would take as much time to keep the Beard in order, as to -shave._” Supposing even it did, still there is a most important -difference both in the two operations and in their results. For the -process of combing and brushing the Beard, instead of being tedious, -uncertain, and often painful, like shaving,[41] confers a positively -delightful sensation, similar to that which one may imagine a cat to -experience, - -Footnote 41: - - There is something in the operation of shaving which, besides its - painfulness, ought to make it repulsive to those who do not shave - themselves—such as having the face bedaubed with lather and rubbed - with a brush, which has done the same office for hundreds of chins. It - is amusing to hear a knot of free and independent Englishmen roaring - “Britons never will be slaves;” most of whom will give their chins to - be mown and their noses to be pulled by any common Barber, and pay him - too for the pulling. Even when the party is a self-shaver, to say - nothing of the waste of time, what a number of petty annoyances and - exercises of temper does it involve! Notwithstanding the boasts of - cold water shavers, depend upon it in rigorous weather most people - prefer hot to cold water, which renders them slaves to their servants; - next, razors, as we know from puff advertisements and our own - experience, are the most uncertain of articles; then there is the - state of the nerves, that even the strongest cannot always control, - causing the unsteady hand to gash and hack the chin, or cover it with - blood from the beheading of those pimply eruptions of which the razor - has been ofttimes the originator. - - When smoothing gently down its fur, - It answers with a purr, purr, purr; - And in its drooping half-shut eye, - A dreamy pleasure we espy. - -And while the result of shaving is a mere negation, depriving us of a -natural protection, and exposing us to disease, the other process, -consume what time we will, is natural and instinctive, and attended with -the satisfaction of adding the grace of neatness to nature’s stamp of -man’s nobility. - -III. “_That the ladies dont like it!_” This Professor Burdach and Dr. -Elliotson, pronounce a foul libel.[42] Ladies by their very nature like -every thing manly; and though from custom the Beard may at first sight -have a strange look, they will soon be reconciled to it, and think, with -Beatrice, that a man without, “_is only fit to be their waiting -gentlewoman_.”[43] I have already mentioned one instance of a queen -despising her husband, because he was priest-ridden enough to shave; and -here I present you with a second in this veritable portrait (shewing it) -of a painter in the reign of George I, of the name of Liotard, who -having returned from his travels in the East, with this fine flow of -curling comeliness, was irresistible. He followed his fate, and married, -but then, alas, unhappy wretch! took one day the whim to shave off his -Eastern glory. Directly his wife saw him, the charm of that ideal which -every true woman forms of her lover, was broken; for instead of a -dignified manly countenance, her eyes fell upon a small pinched face, -with nose celestial and mouth most animally terrestial, - -Footnote 42: - - Old Burton in his Anatomy of Melancholy adds his quaint testimony. “No - sooner doth a young man see his sweetheart coming, than he smugs up - himself, pulls up his cloak, ties his garter points, sets his band and - cuffs, sticks his hair, _twires his Beard_,” &c. - - D’Israeli also says, “when the fair sex were accustomed to behold - their lovers with Beards, the sight of a shaved chin excited feelings - of horror and aversion; as much indeed as in this less heroic age - would a gallant whose luxuriant Beard should ‘Stream like a meteor to - the troubled air.’” - -Footnote 43: - - The whole dialogue from whence this phrase is taken, is suggestive of - the contempt with which the ladies of Elizabeth and James the 1st’s - time regarded a hairless chin. And there are numerous passages in our - old Dramatists which might be quoted to the same effect, but that some - of the allusions do not square with modern notions of delicacy. - - And such a little perking chin, - To kiss it seemed almost a sin! - -IV. “_That a Beard may be very comfortable in Winter but too hot in -Summer!_” The better races of the sons of torrid Africa wear Beards, as -did the ancient Numidians, and Tyro-African Carthaginians before them. -The Arab in the arid parching desert cherishes his! Are we afraid of -being warmer than these in an English Summer? Besides, as we have -already shewn, the Beard is a non-conductor of heat as well as cold.[44] - -Footnote 44: - - It is scarcely conceivable what strange remarks have been made to me - on the subject of the Beard. One party very gravely enquired whether I - really thought that Adam had a Beard? Another was remonstrating with - me on the first manifestations of my moustache; against whom I - wickedly urged the argumentum ad feminam—you don’t object to it in the - military? when the daughter naively chimed in, “why you know, Sir, _it - is natural to them_!” Two or three acute persons, one of them a - lawyer, have objected, “but you have your hair cut!” To which I have - replied, “yes! but I don’t shave it off; and I trim my Beard instead - of removing it. You also pare your nails; but you don’t think of - plucking them out, do you?” - -Having now, ladies and gentlemen, offered proofs that the Beard is a -natural feature of the male face, and designed by Providence for -distinction, protection, and ornament, and shewn you historically, that -while there was never any sufficient reason alleged for leaving it off, -unless a heaven condemned superstition, or the capricious dictates of -fops and profligates, afford to any sound mind reasonable motives of -action, need I ask you not to oppose the efforts of those who, -reverencing the Creator’s laws as above the dictates of man, conceive -themselves justified in returning to the more natural course. On our -part we will, notwithstanding all that we have said, freely allow any -one to continue the practice of shaving, who will be content with the -same plea as a certain Duke de Brissac, who was often overheard uttering -the following soliloquy while adjusting his razor to the proper angle. -“Timoleon de Cosse, God hath made thee a Gentleman, and the King hath -made thee a Duke; it is right and fit, however, that thou shouldst have -something to do, therefore thou shalt shave thyself!” - - -------------- - - HADDOCK, (LATE PAWSEY,) PRINTER, IPSWICH. - - -[Illustration] - ------------------------------------------------------------------------- - - - - - ● Transcriber’s Notes: - ○ Some of the text on the title page was illegible, and was omitted. - ○ Missing or obscured punctuation was silently corrected. - ○ Typographical errors were silently corrected. - ○ Inconsistent spelling and hyphenation were made consistent only - when a predominant form was found in this book. - ○ Text that was in italics is enclosed by underscores (_italics_). - - - - - - - -End of Project Gutenberg's The Philosophy of Beards, by Thomas S. 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