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diff --git a/587-h/587-h.htm b/587-h/587-h.htm new file mode 100644 index 0000000..b83957e --- /dev/null +++ b/587-h/587-h.htm @@ -0,0 +1,10161 @@ +<?xml version="1.0" encoding="us-ascii"?> + +<!DOCTYPE html + PUBLIC "-//W3C//DTD XHTML 1.0 Strict//EN" + "http://www.w3.org/TR/xhtml1/DTD/xhtml1-strict.dtd" > + +<html xmlns="http://www.w3.org/1999/xhtml" lang="en"> + <head> + <title> + Danny's Own Story, by Don Marquis + </title> + <style type="text/css" xml:space="preserve"> + + body { margin:5%; background:#faebd0; text-align:justify} + P { text-indent: 1em; margin-top: .25em; margin-bottom: .25em; } + H1,H2,H3,H4,H5,H6 { text-align: center; margin-left: 15%; margin-right: 15%; } + hr { width: 50%; text-align: center;} + .foot { margin-left: 20%; margin-right: 20%; text-align: justify; text-indent: -3em; font-size: 90%; } + blockquote {font-size: 97%; font-style: italic; margin-left: 10%; margin-right: 10%;} + .mynote {background-color: #DDE; color: #000; padding: .5em; margin-left: 10%; margin-right: 10%; font-family: sans-serif; font-size: 95%;} + .toc { margin-left: 10%; margin-bottom: .75em;} + .toc2 { margin-left: 20%;} + div.fig { display:block; margin:0 auto; text-align:center; } + div.middle { margin-left: 20%; margin-right: 20%; text-align: justify; } + .figleft {float: left; margin-left: 0%; margin-right: 1%;} + .figright {float: right; margin-right: 0%; margin-left: 1%;} + .pagenum {display:inline; font-size: 70%; font-style:normal; + margin: 0; padding: 0; position: absolute; right: 1%; + text-align: right;} + pre { font-style: italic; font-size: 90%; margin-left: 10%;} + +</style> + </head> + <body> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + +The Project Gutenberg EBook of Danny's Own Story, by Don Marquis + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: Danny's Own Story + +Author: Don Marquis + +Release Date: November 24, 2009 [EBook #587] +Last Updated: February 6, 2013 +Last Updated: August 2, 2016 + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ASCII + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK DANNY'S OWN STORY *** + + + + +Produced by Judith Boss, and David Widger + + + + + + +</pre> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <h1> + DANNY'S OWN STORY + </h1> + <p> + <br /> + </p> + <h2> + By Don Marquis + </h2> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <h4> + TO<br /> MY WIFE + </h4> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <blockquote> + <p class="toc"> + <big><b>CONTENTS</b></big> + </p> + <p> + <br /> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2HCH0001"> CHAPTER I </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2HCH0002"> CHAPTER II </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2HCH0003"> CHAPTER III </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2HCH0004"> CHAPTER IV </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2HCH0005"> CHAPTER V </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2HCH0006"> CHAPTER VI </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2HCH0007"> CHAPTER VII </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2HCH0008"> CHAPTER VIII </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2HCH0009"> CHAPTER IX </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2HCH0010"> CHAPTER X </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2HCH0011"> CHAPTER XI </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2HCH0012"> CHAPTER XII </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2HCH0013"> CHAPTER XIII </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2HCH0014"> CHAPTER XIV </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2HCH0015"> CHAPTER XV </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2HCH0016"> CHAPTER XVI </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2HCH0017"> CHAPTER XVII </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2HCH0018"> CHAPTER XVIII </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2HCH0019"> CHAPTER XIX </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2HCH0020"> CHAPTER XX </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2HCH0021"> CHAPTER XXI </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2HCH0022"> CHAPTER XXII </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2HCH0023"> CHAPTER XXIII </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2HCH0024"> CHAPTER XXIV </a> + </p> + </blockquote> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <br /> <br /> <a name="link2HCH0001" id="link2HCH0001"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <h2> + CHAPTER I + </h2> + <p> + HOW I come not to have a last name is a question that has always had more + or less aggervation mixed up with it. I might of had one jest as well as + not if Old Hank Walters hadn't been so all-fired, infernal bull-headed + about things in gineral, and his wife Elmira a blame sight worse, and both + of em ready to row at a minute's notice and stick to it forevermore. + </p> + <p> + Hank, he was considerable of a lusher. One Saturday night, when he come + home from the village in his usual fix, he stumbled over a basket that was + setting on his front steps. Then he got up and drawed back his foot + unsteady to kick it plumb into kingdom come. Jest then he hearn Elmira + opening the door behind him, and he turned his head sudden. But the kick + was already started into the air, and when he turns he can't stop it. And + so Hank gets twisted and falls down and steps on himself. That basket lets + out a yowl. + </p> + <p> + "It's kittens," says Hank, still setting down and staring at that there + basket. All of which, you understand, I am a-telling you from hearsay, as + the lawyers always asts you in court. + </p> + <p> + Elmira, she sings out: + </p> + <p> + "Kittens, nothing! It's a baby!" + </p> + <p> + And she opens the basket and looks in and it was me. + </p> + <p> + "Hennerey Walters," she says—picking me up, and shaking me at him + like I was a crime, "Hennerey Walters, where did you get this here baby?" + She always calls him Hennerey when she is getting ready to give him fits. + </p> + <p> + Hank, he scratches his head, for he's kind o' confuddled, and thinks mebby + he really has brought this basket with him. He tries to think of all the + places he has been that night. But he can't think of any place but Bill + Nolan's saloon. So he says: + </p> + <p> + "Elmira, honest, I ain't had but one drink all day." And then he kind o' + rouses up a little bit, and gets surprised and says: + </p> + <p> + "That a BABY you got there, Elmira?" And then he says, dignified: "So fur + as that's consarned, Elmira, where did YOU get that there baby?" + </p> + <p> + She looks at him, and she sees he don't really know where I come from. Old + Hank mostly was truthful when lickered up, fur that matter, and she knowed + it, fur he couldn't think up no lies excepting a gineral denial when + intoxicated up to the gills. + </p> + <p> + Elmira looks into the basket. They was one of them long rubber tubes + stringing out of a bottle that was in it, and I had been sucking that + bottle when interrupted. And they wasn't nothing else in that basket but a + big thick shawl which had been wrapped all around me, and Elmira often + wore it to meeting afterward. She goes inside and she looks at the bottle + and me by the light, and Old Hank, he comes stumbling in afterward and + sets down in a chair and waits to get Hail Columbia for coming home in + that shape, so's he can row back agin, like they done every Saturday + night. + </p> + <p> + Blowed in the glass of the bottle was the name: "Daniel, Dunne and + Company." Anybody but them two old ignoramuses could of told right off + that that didn't have nothing to do with me, but was jest the company that + made them kind of bottles. But she reads it out loud three or four times, + and then she says: + </p> + <p> + "His name is Daniel Dunne," she says. + </p> + <p> + "And Company," says Hank, feeling right quarrelsome. + </p> + <p> + "COMPANY hain't no name," says she. + </p> + <p> + "WHY hain't it, I'd like to know?" says Hank. "I knowed a man oncet whose + name was Farmer, and if a farmer's a name why ain't a company a name too?" + </p> + <p> + "His name is Daniel Dunne," says Elmira, quietlike, but not dodging a row, + neither. + </p> + <p> + "AND COMPANY," says Hank, getting onto his feet, like he always done when + he seen trouble coming. When Old Hank was full of licker he knowed jest + the ways to aggervate her the worst. + </p> + <p> + She might of banged him one the same as usual, and got her own eye blacked + also, the same as usual; but jest then I lets out another big yowl, and + she give me some milk. + </p> + <p> + I guess the only reason they ever kep' me at first was so they could + quarrel about my name. They'd lived together a good many years and + quarrelled about everything else under the sun, and was running out of + subjects. A new subject kind o' briskened things up fur a while. + </p> + <p> + But finally they went too far with it one time. I was about two years old + then and he was still calling me Company and her calling me Dunne. This + time he hits her a lick that lays her out and likes to kill her, and it + gets him scared. But she gets around agin after a while, and they both see + it has went too fur that time, and so they makes up. + </p> + <p> + "Elmira, I give in," says Hank. "His name is Dunne." + </p> + <p> + "No," says she, tender-like, "you was right, Hank. His name is Company." + So they pretty near got into another row over that. But they finally made + it up between em I didn't have no last name, and they'd jest call me + Danny. Which they both done faithful ever after, as agreed. + </p> + <p> + Old Hank, he was a blacksmith, and he used to lamm me considerable, him + and his wife not having any kids of their own to lick. He lammed me when + he was drunk, and he whaled me when he was sober. I never helt it up agin + him much, neither, not fur a good many years, because he got me used to it + young, and I hadn't never knowed nothing else. Hank's wife, Elmira, she + used to lick him jest about as often as he licked her, and boss him jest + as much. So he fell back on me. A man has jest naturally got to have + something to cuss around and boss, so's to keep himself from finding out + he don't amount to nothing. Leastways, most men is like that. And Hank, he + didn't amount to much; and he kind o' knowed it, way down deep in his + inmost gizzards, and it were a comfort to him to have me around. + </p> + <p> + But they was one thing he never sot no store by, and I got along now to + where I hold that up agin him more'n all the lickings he ever done. That + was book learning. He never had none himself, and he was sot agin it, and + he never made me get none, and if I'd ever asted him for any he'd of + whaled me fur that. Hank's wife, Elmira, had married beneath her, and + everybody in our town had come to see it, and used to sympathize with her + about it when Hank wasn't around. She'd tell em, yes, it was so. Back in + Elmira, New York, from which her father and mother come to our part of + Illinoise in the early days, her father had kep' a hotel, and they was + stylish kind o' folks. When she was born her mother was homesick fur all + that style and fur York State ways, and so she named her Elmira. + </p> + <p> + But when she married Hank, he had considerable land. His father had left + it to him, but it was all swamp land, and so Hank's father, he hunted + more'n he farmed, and Hank and his brothers done the same when he was a + boy. But Hank, he learnt a little blacksmithing when he was growing up, + cause he liked to tinker around and to show how stout he was. Then, when + he married Elmira Appleton, he had to go to work practising that + perfession reg'lar, because he never learnt nothing about farming. He'd + sell fifteen or twenty acres, every now and then, and they'd be high times + till he'd spent it up, and mebby Elmira would get some new clothes. + </p> + <p> + But when I was found on the door step, the land was all gone, and Hank was + practising reg'lar, when not busy cussing out the fellers that had bought + the land. Fur some smart fellers had come along, and bought up all that + swamp land and dreened it, and now it was worth seventy or eighty dollars + an acre. Hank, he figgered some one had cheated him. Which the Walterses + could of dreened theirn too, only they'd ruther hunt ducks and have fish + frys than to dig ditches. All of which I hearn Elmira talking over with + the neighbours more'n once when I was growing up, and they all says: "How + sad it is you have came to this, Elmira!" And then she'd kind o' spunk up + and say, thanks to glory, she'd kep' her pride. + </p> + <p> + Well, they was worse places to live in than that there little town, even + if they wasn't no railroad within eight miles, and only three hundred + soles in the hull copperation. Which Hank's shop and our house set in the + edge of the woods jest outside the copperation line, so's the city marshal + didn't have no authority to arrest him after he crossed it. + </p> + <p> + They was one thing in that house I always admired when I was a kid. And + that was a big cistern. Most people has their cisterns outside their + house, and they is a tin pipe takes all the rain water off the roof and + scoots it into them. Ourn worked the same, but our cistern was right in + under our kitchen floor, and they was a trap door with leather hinges + opened into it right by the kitchen stove. But that wasn't why I was so + proud of it. It was because that cistern was jest plumb full of fish—bullheads + and red horse and sunfish and other kinds. + </p> + <p> + Hank's father had built that cistern. And one time he brung home some live + fish in a bucket and dumped em in there. And they growed. And they + multiplied in there and refurnished the earth. So that cistern had got to + be a fambly custom, which was kep' up in that fambly for a habit. It was a + great comfort to Hank, fur all them Walterses was great fish eaters, + though it never went to brains. We fed em now and then, and throwed back + in the little ones till they was growed, and kep' the dead ones picked out + soon's we smelled anything wrong, and it never hurt the water none; and + when I was a kid I wouldn't of took anything fur living in a house like + that. + </p> + <p> + Oncet, when I was a kid about six years old, Hank come home from the + bar-room. He got to chasing Elmira's cat cause he says it was making faces + at him. The cistern door was open, and Hank fell in. Elmira was over to + town, and I was scared. She had always told me not to fool around there + none when I was a little kid, fur if I fell in there I'd be a corpse + quicker'n scatt. + </p> + <p> + So when Hank fell in, and I hearn him splash, being only a little feller, + and awful scared because Elmira had always made it so strong, I hadn't no + sort of unbelief but what Hank was a corpse already. So I slams the trap + door shut over that there cistern without looking in, fur I hearn Hank + flopping around down in there. I hadn't never hearn a corpse flop before, + and didn't know but what it might be somehow injurious to me, and I wasn't + going to take no chances. + </p> + <p> + So I went out and played in the front yard, and waited fur Elmira. But I + couldn't seem to get my mind settled on playing I was a horse, nor + nothing. I kep' thinking mebby Hank's corpse is going to come flopping out + of that cistern and whale me some unusual way. I hadn't never been licked + by a corpse, and didn't rightly know jest what one is, anyhow, being young + and comparitive innocent. So I sneaks back in and sets all the flatirons + in the house on top of the cistern lid. I hearn some flopping and + splashing and spluttering, like Hank's corpse is trying to jump up and is + falling back into the water, and I hearn Hank's voice, and got scareder + yet. And when Elmira come along down the road, she seen me by the gate + a-crying, and she asts me why. + </p> + <p> + "Hank is a corpse," says I, blubbering. + </p> + <p> + "A corpse!" says Elmira, dropping her coffee which she was carrying home + from the gineral store and post-office. "Danny, what do you mean?" + </p> + <p> + I seen I was to blame somehow, and I wisht then I hadn't said nothing + about Hank being a corpse. And I made up my mind I wouldn't say nothing + more. So when she grabs holt of me and asts me agin what did I mean I + blubbered harder, jest the way a kid will, and says nothing else. I wisht + I hadn't set them flatirons on that door, fur it come to me all at oncet + that even if Hank HAS turned into a corpse I ain't got any right to keep + him in that cistern. + </p> + <p> + Jest then Old Mis' Rogers, which is one of our neighbours, comes by, while + Elmira is shaking me and yelling out what did I mean and how did it happen + and had I saw it and where was Hank's corpse? + </p> + <p> + And Mis' Rogers she says, "What's Danny been doing now, Elmira?" me being + always up to something. + </p> + <p> + Elmira she turned around and seen her, and she gives a whoop and then + hollers out: "Hank is dead!" and throws her apern over her head and sets + right down in the path and boo-hoos like a baby. And I bellers louder. + </p> + <p> + Mis' Rogers, she never waited to ast nothing more. She seen she had a + piece of news, and she's bound to be the first to spread it, like they is + always a lot of women wants to be in them country towns. She run right + acrost the road to where the Alexanderses lived. Mis' Alexander, she seen + her coming and unhooked the screen door, and Mis' Rogers she hollers out + before she reached the porch: + </p> + <p> + "Hank Walters is dead." + </p> + <p> + And then she went footing it up the street. They was a black plume on her + bunnet which nodded the same as on a hearse, and she was into and out of + seven front yards in five minutes. + </p> + <p> + Mis' Alexander, she runs acrost the street to where we was, and she kneels + down and puts her arm around Elmira, which was still rocking back and + forth in the path, and she says: + </p> + <p> + "How do you know he's dead, Elmira? I seen him not more'n an hour ago." + </p> + <p> + "Danny seen it all," says Elmira. + </p> + <p> + Mis' Alexander turned to me, and wants to know what happened and how it + happened and where it happened. But I don't want to say nothing about that + cistern. So I busts out bellering fresher'n ever, and I says: + </p> + <p> + "He was drunk, and he come home drunk, and he done it then, and that's how + he done it," I says. + </p> + <p> + "And you seen him?" she says. I nodded. + </p> + <p> + "Where is he?" says she and Elmira, both to oncet. + </p> + <p> + But I was scared to say nothing about that there cistern, so I jest bawled + some more. + </p> + <p> + "Was it in the blacksmith shop?" says Mis' Alexander. I nodded my head + agin and let it go at that. + </p> + <p> + "Is he in there now?" asts Mis' Alexander. I nodded agin. I hadn't meant + to give out no untrue stories. But a kid will always tell a lie, not + meaning to tell one, if you sort of invite him with questions like that, + and get him scared the way you're acting. Besides, I says to myself, "so + long as Hank has turned into a corpse and that makes him dead, what's the + difference whether he's in the blacksmith shop or not?" Fur I hadn't had + any plain idea, being such a little kid, that a corpse meant to be dead, + and wasn't sure what being dead was like, neither, except they had + funerals over you then. I knowed being a corpse must be some sort of a big + disadvantage from the way Elmira always says keep away from that cistern + door or I'll be one. But if they was going to be a funeral in our house, + I'd feel kind o' important, too. They didn't have em every day in our + town, and we hadn't never had one of our own. + </p> + <p> + So Mis' Alexander, she led Elmira into the house, both a-crying, and Mis' + Alexander trying to comfort her, and me a tagging along behind holding + onto Elmira's skirts and sniffling into them. And in a few minutes all + them women Mis' Rogers has told come filing into that room, one at a time, + looking sad. Only Old Mis' Primrose, she was awful late getting there + because she stopped to put on her bunnet she always wore to funerals with + the black Paris lace on it her cousin Arminty White had sent her from + Chicago. + </p> + <p> + When they found out Hank had come home with licker in him and done it + himself, they was all excited, and they all crowds around and asts me how, + except two as is holding onto Elmira's hands which sets moaning in a + chair. And they all asts me questions as to what I seen him do, which if + they hadn't I wouldn't have told em the lies I did. But they egged me on + to it. + </p> + <p> + Says one woman: "Danny, you seen him do it in the blacksmith shop?" + </p> + <p> + I nodded. + </p> + <p> + "But how did he get in?" sings out another woman. "The door was locked on + the outside with a padlock jest now when I come by. He couldn't of killed + himself in there and locked the door on the outside." + </p> + <p> + I didn't see how he could of done that myself, so I begun to bawl agin and + said nothing at all. + </p> + <p> + "He must of crawled through that little side window," says another one. + "It was open when I come by, if the door WAS locked. Did you see him crawl + through the little side window, Danny?" + </p> + <p> + I nodded. They wasn't nothing else fur me to do. + </p> + <p> + "But YOU hain't tall enough to look through that there window," says + another one to me. "How could you see into that shop, Danny?" + </p> + <p> + I didn't know, so I didn't say nothing at all; I jest sniffled. + </p> + <p> + "They is a store box right in under that window," says another one. "Danny + must have clumb onto that store box and looked in after he seen Hank come + down the road and crawl through the window. Did you scramble onto the + store box and look in, Danny?" + </p> + <p> + I jest nodded agin. + </p> + <p> + "And what was it you seen him do? How did he kill himself?" they all asts + to oncet. + </p> + <p> + <i>I</i> didn't know. So I jest bellers and boo-hoos some more. Things was + getting past anything I could see the way out of. + </p> + <p> + "He might of hung himself to one of the iron rings in the jists above the + forge," says another woman. "He clumb onto the forge to tie the rope to + one of them rings, and he tied the other end around his neck, and then he + stepped off'n the forge. Was that how he done it, Danny?" + </p> + <p> + I nodded. And then I bellered louder than ever. I knowed Hank was down in + that there cistern, a corpse and a mighty wet corpse, all this time; but + they kind o' got me to thinking mebby he was hanging out in the shop by + the forge, too. And I guessed I'd better stick to the shop story, not + wanting to say nothing about that cistern no sooner'n I could help it. + </p> + <p> + Pretty soon one woman says, kind o' shivery: + </p> + <p> + "I don't want to have the job of opening the door of that blacksmith shop + the first one!" + </p> + <p> + And they all kind o' shivered then, and looked at Elmira. They says to let + some of the men open it. And Mis' Alexander, she says she'll run home and + tell her husband right off. + </p> + <p> + And all the time Elmira is moaning in that chair. One woman says Elmira + orter have a cup o' tea, which she'll lay off her bunnet and go to the + kitchen and make it fur her. But Elmira says no, she can't a-bear to think + of tea, with poor Hennerey a-hanging out there in the shop. But she was + kind o' enjoying all that fuss being made over her, too. And all the other + women says: + </p> + <p> + "Poor thing!" But all the same they was mad she said she didn't want any + tea, for they all wanted some and didn't feel free without she took it + too. Which she said she would after they'd coaxed a while and made her see + her duty. + </p> + <p> + So they all goes out to the kitchen, bringing along some of the best room + chairs, Elmira coming too, and me tagging along behind. And the first + thing they noticed was them flatirons on top of the cistern door. Mis' + Primrose, she says that looks funny. But another woman speaks up and says + Danny must of been playing with them while Elmira was over town. She says, + "Was you playing they was horses, Danny?" + </p> + <p> + I was feeling considerable like a liar by this time, but I says I was + playing horses with them, fur I couldn't see no use in hurrying things up. + I was bound to get a lamming purty soon anyhow. When I was a kid I could + always bet on that. So they picks up the flatirons, and as they picks em + up they come a splashing noise in the cistern. I thinks to myself, Hank's + corpse'll be out of there in a minute. One woman, she says: + </p> + <p> + "Goodness gracious sakes alive! What's that, Elmira?" + </p> + <p> + Elmira says that cistern is mighty full of fish, and they is some great + big ones in there, and it must be some of them a-flopping around. Which if + they hadn't of been all worked up and talking all to oncet and all + thinking of Hank's body hanging out there in the blacksmith shop they + might of suspicioned something. For that flopping kep' up steady, and a + lot of splashing too. I mebby orter mentioned sooner it had been a dry + summer and they was only three or four feet of water in our cistern, and + Hank wasn't in scarcely up to his big hairy chest. So when Elmira says the + cistern is full of fish, that woman opens the trap door and looks in. Hank + thinks it's Elmira come to get him out. He allows he'll keep quiet in + there and make believe he is drowned and give her a good scare and make + her sorry fur him. But when the cistern door is opened, he hears a lot of + clacking tongues all of a sudden like they was a hen convention on. He + allows she has told some of the neighbours, and he'll scare them too. So + Hank, he laid low. And the woman as looks in sees nothing, for it's as + dark down there as the insides of the whale what swallered Noah. But she + leaves the door open and goes on a-making tea, and they ain't skeercly a + sound from that cistern, only little, ripply noises like it might have + been fish. + </p> + <p> + Pretty soon a woman says: + </p> + <p> + "It has drawed, Elmira; won't you have a cup?" Elmira she kicked some + more, but she took hern. And each woman took hern. And one woman, + a-sipping of hern, she says: + </p> + <p> + "The departed had his good pints, Elmira." + </p> + <p> + Which was the best thing had been said of Hank in that town fur years and + years. + </p> + <p> + Old Mis' Primrose, she always prided herself on being honest, no matter + what come, and she ups and says: + </p> + <p> + "I don't believe in no hippercritics at a time like this, no more'n no + other time. The departed wasn't no good, and the hull town knowed it; and + Elmira orter feel like it's good riddance of bad rubbish and them is my + sentiments and the sentiments of rightfulness." + </p> + <p> + All the other women sings out: + </p> + <p> + "W'y, MIS' PRIMROSE! I never!" And they seemed awful shocked. But down in + underneath more of em agreed than let on. Elmira she wiped her eyes and + she said: + </p> + <p> + "Hennerey and me has had our troubles. They ain't any use in denying that, + Mis' Primrose. It has often been give and take between us and betwixt us. + And the hull town knows he has lifted his hand agin me more'n oncet. But I + always stood up to Hennerey, and I fit him back, free and fair and open. I + give him as good as he sent on this here earth, and I ain't the one to + carry no annermosities beyond the grave. I forgive Hank all the orneriness + he done me, and they was a lot of it, as is becoming unto a church member, + which he never was." + </p> + <p> + And all the women but Mis' Primrose, they says: + </p> + <p> + "Elmira Appleton, you HAVE got a Christian sperrit!" Which done her a heap + of good, and she cried considerable harder, leaking out tears as fast as + she poured tea in. Each one on em tries to find out something good to say + about Hank, only they wasn't much they could say. And Hank in that there + cistern a-listening to every word of it. + </p> + <p> + Mis' Rogers, she says: + </p> + <p> + "Afore he took to drinking like a fish, Hank Walters was as likely looking + a young feller as I ever see." + </p> + <p> + Mis' White, she says: + </p> + <p> + "Well, Hank he never was a stingy man, nohow. Often and often White has + told me about seeing Hank, after he'd sold a piece of land, treating the + hull town down in Nolan's bar-room jest as come-easy, go-easy as if it + wasn't money he orter paid his honest debts with." + </p> + <p> + They set there that-a-way telling of what good pints they could think of + fur ten minutes, and Hank a-hearing it and getting madder and madder all + the time. The gineral opinion was that Hank wasn't no good and was better + done fur, and no matter what they said them feelings kep' sticking out + through the words. + </p> + <p> + By and by Tom Alexander come busting into the house, and his wife, Mis' + Alexander, was with him. + </p> + <p> + "What's the matter with all you folks," he says. "They ain't nobody + hanging in that there blacksmith shop. I broke the door down and went in, + and it was empty." + </p> + <p> + Then they was a pretty howdy-do, and they all sings out: + </p> + <p> + "Where's the corpse?" + </p> + <p> + And some thinks mebby some one has cut it down and took it away, and all + gabbles to oncet. But for a minute no one thinks mebby little Danny has + been egged on to tell lies. Little Danny ain't saying a word. But Elmira + she grabs me and shakes me and she says: + </p> + <p> + "You little liar, you, what do you mean by that tale you told?" + </p> + <p> + I thinks that lamming is about due now. But whilst all eyes is turned on + me and Elmira, they comes a voice from that cistern. It is Hank's voice, + and he sings out: + </p> + <p> + "Tom Alexander, is that you?" + </p> + <p> + Some of the women scream, for some thinks it is Hank's ghost. But one + woman says what would a ghost be doing in a cistern? + </p> + <p> + Tom Alexander, he laughs and he says: + </p> + <p> + "What in blazes you want to jump in there fur, Hank?" + </p> + <p> + "You dern ijut!" says Hank, "you quit mocking me and get a ladder, and + when I get out'n here I'll learn you to ast what did I want to jump in + here fur!" + </p> + <p> + "You never seen the day you could do it," says Tom Alexander, meaning the + day he could lick him. "And if you feel that way about it you can stay + there fur all of me. I guess a little water won't hurt you none." And he + left the house. + </p> + <p> + "Elmira," sings out Hank, mad and bossy, "you go get me a ladder!" + </p> + <p> + But Elmira, her temper riz up too, all of a sudden. + </p> + <p> + "Don't you dare order me around like I was the dirt under your feet, + Hennerey Walters," she says. + </p> + <p> + At that Hank fairly roared, he was so mad. He says: + </p> + <p> + "Elmira, when I get out'n here I'll give you what you won't fergit in a + hurry. I hearn you a-forgiving me and a-weeping over me, and I won't be + forgive nor weeped over by no one! You go and get that ladder." + </p> + <p> + But Elmira only answers: + </p> + <p> + "You wasn't sober when you fell into there, Hennerey Walters. And now you + can jest stay in there till you get a better temper on you!" And all the + women says: "That's right, Elmira; spunk up to him!" + </p> + <p> + They was considerable splashing around in the water fur a couple of + minutes. And then, all of a sudden, a live fish come a-whirling out of + that hole, which he had ketched it with his hands. It was a big bullhead, + and its whiskers around its mouth was stiffened into spikes, and it lands + kerplump into Mis' Rogers's lap, a-wiggling, and it kind o' horns her on + the hands, and she is that surprised she faints. Mis' Primrose, she gets + up and pushes that fish back into the cistern with her foot from the floor + where it had fell, and she says right decided: + </p> + <p> + "Elmira Walters, that was Elmira Appleton, if you let Hank out'n that + cistern before he has signed the pledge and promised to jine the church + you're a bigger fool 'n I take you to be. A woman has got to make a + stand!" With that she marches out'n our house. + </p> + <p> + Then all the women sings out: + </p> + <p> + "Send fur Brother Cartwright! Send fur Brother Cartwright!" + </p> + <p> + And they sent me scooting acrost town to get him quick. Which he was the + preacher of the Baptist church and lived next to it. And I hadn't got no + lamming yet! + </p> + <p> + <a name="link2HCH0002" id="link2HCH0002"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + CHAPTER II + </h2> + <p> + I never stopped to tell but two, three folks on the way to Brother + Cartwright's, but they must of spread it quick. 'Cause when I got back + home with him it seemed like the hull town was there. It was along about + dusk by this time, and it was a prayer-meeting night at the church. Mr. + Cartwright told his wife to tell the folks what come to the prayer-meeting + he'd be back before long, and to wait fur him. Which she really told them + where he had went, and what fur. Mr. Cartwright marches right into the + kitchen. All the chairs in our house was into the kitchen, and the women + was a-talking and a-laughing, and they had sent over to Alexanderses for + their chairs and to Rogerses for theirn. Every oncet in a while they would + be a awful bust of language come up from that hole where that unreginerate + old sinner was cooped up in. + </p> + <p> + I have travelled around considerable since them days, and I have mixed up + along of many kinds of people in many different places, and some of 'em + was cussers to admire. But I never hearn such cussing before or since as + old Hank done that night. He busted his own records and riz higher'n his + own water marks for previous times. I wasn't nothing but a little kid + then, and skeercly fitten fur to admire the full beauty of it. They was + deep down cusses, that come from the heart. Looking back at it after all + these years, I can believe what Brother Cartwright said himself that + night, that it wasn't natcheral cussing and some higher power, like a + demon or a evil sperrit, must of entered into Hank's human carkis and give + that turrible eloquence to his remarks. It busted out every few minutes, + and the women would put their fingers into their ears till a spell was + over. And it was personal, too. Hank, he would listen until he hearn a + woman's voice that he knowed, and then he would let loose on her fambly, + going backwards to her grandfathers and downwards to her children's + children. If her father had once stolen a hog, or her husband done any + disgrace that got found out on him, Hank would put it all into his gineral + remarks, with trimmings onto it. + </p> + <p> + Brother Cartwright, he steps up to the hole in the floor when he first + comes in and he says, gentle-like and soothing, like a undertaker when he + tells you where to set at a home funeral: + </p> + <p> + "Brother Walters." + </p> + <p> + "Brother!" Hank yells out, "don't ye brother me, you sniffling, + psalm-singing, yaller-faced, pigeon-toed hippercrit, you! Get me a ladder, + gol dern you, and I'll come out'n here and learn you to brother me, I + will." Only that wasn't nothing to what Hank really said to that preacher; + no more like it than a little yaller, fluffy canary is like a buzzard. + </p> + <p> + "Brother Walters," says the preacher, ca'am but firm, "we have all decided + that you ain't going to come out of that cistern till you sign the + pledge." + </p> + <p> + And Hank tells him what he thinks of pledges and him and church doings, + and it wasn't purty. And he says if he was as deep in eternal fire as what + he now is in rain-water, and every fish that nibbles at his toes was a + preacher with a red-hot pitchfork a-jabbing at him, they could jab till + the hull hereafter turned into snow afore he'd ever sign nothing a man + like Mr. Cartwright give him to sign. Hank was stubborner than any mule he + ever nailed shoes onto, and proud of being that stubborn. That town was a + awful religious town, and Hank he knowed he was called the most + onreligious man in it, and he was proud of that too; and if any one called + him a heathen it jest plumb tickled him all over. + </p> + <p> + "Brother Walters," says that preacher, "we are going to pray for you." + </p> + <p> + And they done it. They brought all them chairs close up around that + cistern, in a ring, and they all kneeled down there, with their heads on + 'em, and they prayed fur Hank's salvation. They done it up in style, too, + one at a time, and the others singing out, "Amen!" every now and then, and + they shed tears down onto Hank. The front yard was crowded with men, all + a-laughing and a-talking and chawing and spitting tobacco and betting how + long Hank would hold out. Old Si Emery, that was the city marshal, and + always wore a big nickel-plated star, was out there with 'em. Si was in a + sweat, 'cause Bill Nolan, that run the bar-room, and some more of Hank's + friends, or as near friends as he had, was out in the road. They says to + Si he must arrest that preacher, fur Hank is being gradual murdered in + that there water, and he'll die if he's helt there too long, and it will + be a crime. Only they didn't come into the yard to say it amongst us + religious folks. But Si, he says he dassent arrest no one because it is + outside the town copperation; but he's considerable worried too about what + his duty orter be. + </p> + <p> + Pretty soon the gang that Mrs. Cartwright has rounded up at the + prayer-meeting comes stringing along in. They had all brung their hymn + books with them, and they sung. The hull town was there then, and they all + sung, and they sung revival hymns over Hank. And Hank he would jest cuss + and cuss. Every time he busted out into another cussing spell they would + start another hymn. Finally the men out in the front yard got warmed up + too, and begun to sing, all but Bill Nolan's crowd, and they give Hank up + for lost and went away disgusted. + </p> + <p> + The first thing you knowed they was a reg'lar revival meeting there, and + that preacher was preaching a reg'lar revival sermon. I been to more'n one + camp meeting, but fur jest natcherally taking holt of the hull human race + by the slack of its pants and dangling of it over hell-fire, I never hearn + nothing could come up to that there sermon. Two or three old backsliders + in the crowd come right up and repented all over agin on the spot. The + hull kit and biling of 'em got the power good and hard, like they does at + camp meetings and revivals. But Hank, he only cussed. He was obstinate, + Hank was, and his pride and dander had riz up. Finally he says: + </p> + <p> + "You're taking a ornery, low-down advantage o' me, you are. Let me out'n + this here cistern and I'll show you who'll stick it out longest on dry + land, dern your religious hides!" + </p> + <p> + Some of the folks there hadn't had no suppers, so after all the other + sinners but Hank had either got converted or else sneaked away, some of + the women says why not make a kind of love feast out of it, and bring some + vittles, like they does to church sociables. Because it seems likely Satan + is going to wrastle all night long, like he done with the angel Jacob, and + they ought to be prepared. So they done it. They went and they come back + with vittles and they made up hot coffee and they feasted that preacher + and theirselves and Elmira and me, all right in Hank's hearing. + </p> + <p> + And Hank was getting hungry himself. And he was cold in that water. And + the fish was nibbling at him. And he was getting cussed out and weak and + soaked full of despair. And they wasn't no way fur him to set down and + rest. And he was scared of getting a cramp in his legs, and sinking down + with his head under water and being drownded. He said afterward he'd of + done the last with pleasure if they was any way of suing that crowd fur + murder. So along about ten o'clock he sings out: + </p> + <p> + "I give in, gosh dern ye! I give in. Let me out and I'll sign your pesky + pledge!" + </p> + <p> + Brother Cartwright was fur getting a ladder and letting him climb out + right away. But Elmira, she says: + </p> + <p> + "Don't you do it, Brother Cartwright; don't you do it. You don't know Hank + Walters like I does. If he oncet gets out o' there before he's signed that + pledge, he won't never sign it." + </p> + <p> + So they fixed it up that Brother Cartwright was to write out a pledge on + the inside leaf of the Bible, and tie the Bible onto a string, and a lead + pencil onto another string, and let the strings down to Hank, and he was + to make his mark, fur he couldn't write, and they was to be pulled up + agin. Hank, he says all right, and they done it. But jest as Hank was + making his mark on the leaf of the book, that preacher done what I has + always thought was a mean trick. He was lying on the floor with his head + and shoulders into that hole as fur as he could, holding a lantern way + down into it, so as Hank could see. And jest as Hank made that mark he + spoke some words over him, and then he says: + </p> + <p> + "Now, Henry Walters, I have baptized you, and you are a member of the + church." + </p> + <p> + You'd a thought Hank would of broke out cussing agin at being took + unexpected that-a-way, fur he hadn't really agreed to nothing but signing + the pledge. But nary a cuss. He jest says: "Now, you get that ladder." + </p> + <p> + They got it, and he clumb up into the kitchen, dripping and shivering. + </p> + <p> + "You went and baptized me in that water?" he asts the preacher. The + preacher says he has. + </p> + <p> + "Then," says Hank, "you done a low-down trick on me. You knowed I has made + my brags I never jined no church nor never would jine. You knowed I was + proud of that. You knowed that it was my glory to tell of it, and that I + set a heap of store by it in every way. And now you've went and took it + away from me! You never fought it out fair and square, neither, man + playing to outlast man, like you done with this here pledge, but you + sneaked it in on me when I wasn't looking." + </p> + <p> + They was a lot of men in that crowd that thought the preacher had went too + far, and sympathized with Hank. The way he done about that hurt Brother + Cartwright in our town, and they was a split in the church, because some + said it wasn't reg'lar and wasn't binding. He lost his job after a while + and become an evangelist. Which it don't make no difference what one of + them does, nohow. + </p> + <p> + But Hank, he always thought he had been baptized reg'lar. And he never was + the same afterward. He had made his life-long brags, and his pride was + broke in that there one pertic'ler spot. And he sorrered and grieved over + it a good 'eal, and got grouchier and grouchier and meaner and meaner, and + lickered oftener, if anything. Signing the pledge couldn't hold Hank. He + was worse in every way after that night in the cistern, and took to + lamming me harder and harder. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link2HCH0003" id="link2HCH0003"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + CHAPTER III + </h2> + <p> + Well, all the lammings Hank laid on never done me any good. It seemed like + I was jest natcherally cut out to have no success in life, and no amount + of whaling could change it, though Hank, he was faithful. Before I was + twelve years old the hull town had seen it, and they wasn't nothing else + expected of me except not to be any good. + </p> + <p> + That had its handy sides to it, too. They was lots of kids there that had + to go to school, but Hank, he never would of let me done that if I had ast + him, and I never asted. And they was lots of kids considerably bothered + all the time with their parents and relations. They made 'em go to Sunday + School, and wash up reg'lar all over on Saturday nights, and put on shoes + and stockings part of the time, even in the summer, and some of 'em had to + ast to go in swimming, and the hull thing was a continuous trouble and + privation to 'em. But they wasn't nothing perdicted of me, and I done like + it was perdicted. Everybody 'lowed from the start that Hank would of made + trash out'n me, even if I hadn't showed all the signs of being trash + anyhow. And if they was devilment anywhere about that town they all says, + "Danny, he done it." And like as not I has. So I gets to be what you might + call an outcast. All the kids whose folks ain't trash, their mothers tells + 'em not to run with me no more. Which they done it all the more fur that + reason, on the sly, and it makes me more important with them. + </p> + <p> + But when I gets a little bigger, all that makes me feel kind o' bad + sometimes. It ain't so handy then. Fur folks gets to saying, when I would + come around: + </p> + <p> + "Danny, what do YOU want?" + </p> + <p> + And if I says, "Nothing," they would say: + </p> + <p> + "Well, then, you get out o' here!" + </p> + <p> + Which they needn't of been suspicioning nothing like they pertended they + did, fur I never stole nothing more'n worter millions and mush millions + and such truck, and mebby now and then a chicken us kids use to roast in + the woods on Sundays, and jest as like as not it was one of Hank's hens + then, which I figgered I'd earnt it. + </p> + <p> + Fur Hank, he had streaks when he'd work me considerable hard. He never + give me any money fur it. He loafed a lot too, and when he'd loaf I'd + loaf. But I did pick up right smart of handiness with tools around that + there shop of his'n, and if he'd ever of used me right I might of turned + into a purty fair blacksmith. But it wasn't no use trying to work fur + Hank. When I was about fifteen, times is right bad around the house fur a + spell, and Elmira is working purty hard, and I thinks to myself: + </p> + <p> + "Well, these folks has kind o' brung you up, and you ain't never done + more'n Hank made you do. Mebby you orter stick to work a little more when + they's a job in the shop, even if Hank don't." + </p> + <p> + Which I tried it fur about two or three years, doing as much work around + the shop as Hank done and mebby more. But it wasn't no use. One day when + I'm about eighteen, I seen awful plain I'll have to light out from there. + They was a circus come to town that day. I says to Hank: + </p> + <p> + "Hank, they is a circus this afternoon and agin to-night." + </p> + <p> + "So I has hearn," says Hank. + </p> + <p> + "Are you going to it?" says I. + </p> + <p> + "I mout," says Hank, "and then agin I moutn't. I don't see as it's no + consarns of yourn, nohow." I knowed he was going, though. Hank, he never + missed a circus. + </p> + <p> + "Well," I says, "they wasn't no harm to ast, was they?" + </p> + <p> + "Well, you've asted, ain't you?" says Hank. + </p> + <p> + "Well, then," says I, "I'd like to go to that there circus myself." + </p> + <p> + "They ain't no use in me saying fur you not to go," says Hank, "fur you + would go anyhow. You always does go off when you is needed." + </p> + <p> + "But I ain't got no money," I says, "and I was going to ast you could you + spare me half a dollar?" + </p> + <p> + "Great Jehosephat!" says Hank, "but ain't you getting stuck up! What's the + matter of you crawling in under the tent like you always done? First thing + I know you'll be wanting a pair of these here yaller shoes and a + stove-pipe hat." + </p> + <p> + "No," says I, "I ain't no dude, Hank, and you know it. But they is always + things about a circus to spend money on besides jest the circus herself. + They is the side show, fur instance, and they is the grand concert + afterward. I calkelated I'd take 'em all in this year—the hull dern + thing, jest fur oncet." + </p> + <p> + Hank, he looks at me like I'd asted fur a house 'n' lot, or a million + dollars, or something like that. But he don't say nothing. He jest snorts. + </p> + <p> + "Hank," I says, "I been doing right smart work around the shop fur two, + three years now. If you wasn't loafing so much you'd a noticed it more. + And I ain't never ast fur a cent of pay fur it, nor—" + </p> + <p> + "You ain't wuth no pay," says Hank. "You ain't wuth nothing but to eat + vittles and wear out clothes." + </p> + <p> + "Well," I says, "I figger I earn my vittles and a good 'eal more. And as + fur as clothes goes, I never had none but what Elmira made out'n yourn." + </p> + <p> + "Who brung you up?" asts Hank. + </p> + <p> + "You done it," says I, "and by your own say-so you done a dern poor job at + it." + </p> + <p> + "You go to that there circus," says Hank, a-flaring up, "and I'll lambaste + you up to a inch of your life. So fur as handing out money fur you to + sling it to the dogs, I ain't no bank, and if I was I ain't no ijut. But + you jest let me hear of you even going nigh that circus lot and all the + lammings you has ever got, rolled into one, won't be a measly little + sarcumstance to what you WILL get. They ain't no leather-faced young + upstart with weepin'-willow hair going to throw up to me how I brung him + up. That's gratitood fur you, that is!" says Hank. "If it hadn't of been + fur me giving you a home when I found you first, where would you of been + now?" + </p> + <p> + "Well," I says, "I might of been a good 'eal better off. If you hadn't of + took me in the Alexanderses would of, and then I wouldn't of been kep' out + of school and growed up a ignoramus like you is." + </p> + <p> + "I never had no trouble keeping you away from school, I notice," says + Hank, with a snort. "This is the first I ever hearn of you wanting to go + there." + </p> + <p> + Which was true in one way, and a lie in another. I hadn't never wanted to + go till lately, but he'd of lammed me if I had of wanted to. He always + said he would. And now I was too big and knowed it. + </p> + <p> + Well, Hank, he never give me no money, so I watches my chancet that + afternoon and slips in under the tent the same as always. And I lays low + under them green benches and wiggled through when I seen a good chancet. + The first person I seen was Hank. Of course he seen me, and he shook his + fist at me in a promising kind of way, and they wasn't no trouble + figgering out what he meant. Fur a while I didn't enjoy that circus to no + extent. Fur I was thinking that if Hank tries to lick me fur it I'll fight + him back this time, which I hadn't never fit him back much yet fur fear + he'd pick up something iron around the shop and jest natcherally lay me + cold with it. + </p> + <p> + I got home before Hank did. It was nigh sundown, and I was waiting in the + door of the shop fur Elmira to holler vittles is ready, and Hank come + along. He didn't waste no time. He steps inside the shop and he takes down + a strap and he says: + </p> + <p> + "You come here and take off your shirt." + </p> + <p> + But I jest moves away. Hank, he runs in on me, and he swings his strap. I + throwed up my arm, and it cut me acrost the knuckles. I run in on him, and + he dropped the strap and fetched me an openhanded smack plumb on the mouth + that jarred my head back and like to of busted it loose. Then I got right + mad, and I run in on him agin, and this time I got to him, and wrastled + with him. + </p> + <p> + Well, sir, I never was so surprised in all my life before. Fur I hadn't + had holt on him more'n a minute before I seen I'm stronger than Hank is. I + throwed him, and he hit the ground with considerable of a jar, and then I + put my knee in the pit of his stomach and churned it a couple. And I + thinks to myself what a fool I must of been fur better'n a year, because I + might of done this any time. I got him by the ears and I slammed his head + into the gravel a few times, him a-reaching fur my throat, and a-pounding + me with his fists, but me a-taking the licks and keeping holt. And I had a + mighty contented time fur a few minutes there on top of Hank, chuckling to + myself, and batting him one every now and then fur luck, and trying to + make him holler it's enough. But Hank is stubborn and he won't holler. And + purty soon I thinks, what am I going to do? Fur Hank will be so mad when I + let him up he'll jest natcherally kill me, without I kill him. And I was + scared, because I don't want neither one of them things to happen. Whilst + I was thinking it over, and getting scareder and scareder, and banging + Hank's head harder and harder, some one grabs me from behind. + </p> + <p> + They was two of them, and one gets my collar and one gets the seat of my + pants, and they drug me off'n him. Hank, he gets up, and then he sets down + sudden on a horse block and wipes his face on his sleeve, which they was + considerable blood come onto the sleeve. + </p> + <p> + I looks around to see who has had holt of me, and it is two men. One of + them looks about seven feet tall, on account of a big plug hat and a long + white linen duster, and has a beautiful red beard. In the road they is a + big stout road wagon, with a canopy top over it, pulled by two hosses, and + on the wagon box they is a strip of canvas. Which I couldn't read then + what was wrote on the canvas, but I learnt later it said, in big print: + </p> + <p> + SIWASH INDIAN SAGRAW. NATURE'S UNIVERSAL MEDICINAL SPECIFIC. DISCOVERED BY + DR. HARTLEY L. KIRBY AMONG THE ABORIGINES OF OREGON. + </p> + <p> + On account of being so busy, neither Hank nor me had hearn the wagon come + along the road and stop. The big man in the plug hat, he says, or they was + words to that effect, jest as serious: + </p> + <p> + "Why are you mauling the aged gent?" + </p> + <p> + "Well," says I, "he needed it considerable." + </p> + <p> + "But," says he, still more solemn, "the good book says to honour thy + father and thy mother." + </p> + <p> + "Well," I says, "mebby it does and mebby it don't. But HE ain't my father, + nohow. And he ain't been getting no more'n his come-uppings." + </p> + <p> + "Vengeance is mine, saith the Lord," the big man remarks, very serious. + Hank, he riz up then, and he says: + </p> + <p> + "Mister, be you a preacher? 'Cause if you be, the sooner you have druv on, + the better fur ye. I got a grudge agin all preachers." + </p> + <p> + That feller, he jest looks Hank over ca'am and easy and slow before he + answers, and he wrinkles up his face like he never seen anything like Hank + before. Then he fetches a kind o' aggervating smile, and he says: + </p> + <pre> + "Beneath a shady chestnut tree + The village blacksmith stands. + The smith, a pleasant soul is he + With warts upon his hands—" + </pre> + <p> + He stares at Hank hard and solemn and serious while he is saying that + poetry at him. Hank fidgets and turns his eyes away. But the feller + touches him on the breast with his finger, and makes him look at him. + </p> + <p> + "My honest friend," says the feller, "I am NOT a preacher. Not right now, + anyhow. No! My mission is spreading the glad tidings of good health. Look + at me," and he swells his chest up, and keeps a-holt of Hank's eyes with + his'n. "You behold before you the discoverer, manufacturer, and proprietor + of Siwash Indian Sagraw, nature's own remedy for Bright's Disease, + rheumatism, liver and kidney trouble, catarrh, consumption, bronchitis, + ring-worm, erysipelas, lung fever, typhoid, croup, dandruff, stomach + trouble, dyspepsia—" And they was a lot more of 'em. + </p> + <p> + "Well," says Hank, sort o' backing up as the big man come nearer and + nearer to him, jest natcherally bully-ragging him with them eyes, "I got + none of them there complaints." + </p> + <p> + The doctor he kind o' snarls, and he brings his hand down hard on Hank's + shoulder, and he says: + </p> + <p> + "There are more things betwixt Dan and Beersheba than was ever dreamt of + in thy sagacity, Romeo!" Or they was words to that effect, fur that doctor + was jest plumb full of Scripter quotations. And he sings out sudden, + giving Hank a shove that nearly pushes him over: "Man alive!" he yells, + "you DON'T KNOW what disease you may have! Many's the strong man I've seen + rejoicing in his strength at the dawn of day cut down like the grass in + the field before sunset," he says. + </p> + <p> + Hank, he's trying to look the other way, but that doctor won't let his + eyes wiggle away from his'n. He says very sharp: + </p> + <p> + "Stick out your tongue!" + </p> + <p> + Hank, he sticks her out. + </p> + <p> + The doctor, he takes some glasses out'n his pocket and puts 'em on, and he + fetches a long look at her. Then he opens his mouth like he was going to + say something, and shuts it agin like his feelings won't let him. He puts + his arm across Hank's shoulder affectionate and sad, and then he turns his + head away like they was some one dead in the fambly. Finally, he says: + </p> + <p> + "I thought so. I saw it. I saw it in your eyes when I first drove up. I + hope," he says, very mournful, "I haven't come too late!" + </p> + <p> + Hank, he turns pale. I was getting sorry fur Hank myself. I seen now why I + licked him so easy. Any one could of told from that doctor's actions Hank + was as good as a dead man already. But Hank, he makes a big effort, and he + says: + </p> + <p> + "Shucks! I'm sixty-eight years old, doctor, and I hain't never had a sick + day in my life." But he was awful uneasy too. + </p> + <p> + The doctor, he says to the feller with him: "Looey, bring me one of the + sample size." + </p> + <p> + Looey brung it, the doctor never taking his eyes off'n Hank. He handed it + to Hank, and he says: + </p> + <p> + "A whiskey glass full three times a day, my friend, and there is a good + chance for even you. I give it to you, without money and without price." + </p> + <p> + "But what have I got?" asts Hank. + </p> + <p> + "You have spinal meningitis," says the doctor, never batting an eye. + </p> + <p> + "Will this here cure me?" says Hank. + </p> + <p> + "It'll cure ANYTHING," says the doctor. + </p> + <p> + Hank he says, "Shucks," agin, but he took the bottle and pulled the cork + out and smelt it, right thoughtful. And what them fellers had stopped at + our place fur was to have the shoe of the nigh hoss's off hind foot nailed + on, which it was most ready to drop off. Hank, he done it fur a + regulation, dollar-size bottle and they druv on into the village. + </p> + <p> + Right after supper I goes down town. They was in front of Smith's Palace + Hotel. They was jest starting up when I got there. Well, sir, that doctor + was a sight. He didn't have his duster onto him, but his stove-pipe hat + was, and one of them long Prince Alferd coats nearly to his knees, and + shiny shoes, but his vest was cut out holler fur to show his biled shirt, + and it was the pinkest shirt I ever see, and in the middle of that they + was a diamond as big as Uncle Pat Hickey's wen, what was one of the town + sights. No, sir; they never was a man with more genuine fashionableness + sticking out all over him than Doctor Kirby. He jest fairly wallered in + it. + </p> + <p> + I hadn't paid no pertic'ler attention to the other feller with him when + they stopped at our place, excepting to notice he was kind of slim and + blackhaired and funny complected. But I seen now I orter of looked + closeter. Fur I'll be dad-binged if he weren't an Injun! There he set, + under that there gasoline lamp the wagon was all lit up with, with + moccasins on, and beads and shells all over him, and the gaudiest turkey + tail of feathers rainbowing down from his head you ever see, and a blanket + around him that was gaudier than the feathers. And he shined and rattled + every time he moved. + </p> + <p> + That wagon was a hull opry house to itself. It was rolled out in front of + Smith's Palace Hotel without the hosses. The front part was filled with + bottles of medicine. The doctor, he begun business by taking out a long + brass horn and tooting on it. They was about a dozen come, but they was + mostly boys. Then him and the Injun picked up some banjoes and sung a + comic song out loud and clear. And they was another dozen or so come. And + they sung another song, and Pop Wilkins, he closed up the post-office and + come over and the other two veterans of the Grand Army of the Republicans + that always plays checkers in there nights come along with him. But it + wasn't much of a crowd, and the doctor he looked sort o' worried. I had a + good place, right near the hind wheel of the wagon where he rested his + foot occasional, and I seen what he was thinking. So I says to him: + </p> + <p> + "Doctor Kirby, I guess the crowd is all gone to the circus agin to-night." + And all them fellers there seen I knowed him. + </p> + <p> + "I guess so, Rube," he says to me. And they all laughed 'cause he called + me Rube, and I felt kind of took down. + </p> + <p> + Then he lit in to tell about that Injun medicine. First off he told how he + come to find out about it. It was the father of the Injun what was with + him had showed him, he said. And it was in the days of his youthfulness, + when he was wild, and a cowboy on the plains of Oregon. Well, one night he + says, they was an awful fight on the plains of Oregon, wherever them is, + and he got plugged full of bullet holes. And his hoss run away with him + and he was carried off, and the hoss was going at a dead run, and the + blood was running down onto the ground. And the wolves smelt the blood and + took out after him, yipping and yowling something frightful to hear, and + the hoss he kicked out behind and killed the head wolf and the others + stopped to eat him up, and while they was eating him the hoss gained a + quarter of a mile. But they et him up and they was gaining agin, fur the + smell of human blood was on the plains of Oregon, he says, and the sight + of his mother's face when she ast him never to be a cowboy come to him in + the moonlight, and he knowed that somehow all would yet be well, and then + he must of fainted and he knowed no more till he woke up in a tent on the + plains of Oregon. And they was an old Injun bending over him and a + beautiful Injun maiden was feeling of his pulse, and they says to him: + </p> + <p> + "Pale face, take hope, fur we will doctor you with Siwash Injun Sagraw, + which is nature's own cure fur all diseases." + </p> + <p> + They done it. And he got well. It had been a secret among them there + Injuns fur thousands and thousands of years. Any Injun that give away the + secret was killed and rubbed off the rolls of the tribe and buried in + disgrace upon the plains of Oregon. And the doctor was made a blood + brother of the chief, and learnt the secret of that medicine. Finally he + got the chief to see as it wasn't Christian to hold back that there + medicine from the world no longer, and the chief, his heart was softened, + and he says to go. + </p> + <p> + "Go, my brother," he says, "and give to the pale faces the medicine that + has been kept secret fur thousands and thousands of years among the Siwash + Injuns on the plains of Oregon." + </p> + <p> + And he went. It wasn't that he wanted to make no money out of that there + medicine. He could of made all the money he wanted being a doctor in the + reg'lar way. But what he wanted was to spread the glad tidings of good + health all over this fair land of ourn, he says. + </p> + <p> + Well, sir, he was a talker, that there doctor was, and he knowed more + religious sayings and poetry along with it, than any feller I ever hearn. + He goes on and he tells how awful sick people can manage to get and never + know it, and no one else never suspicion it, and live along fur years and + years that-a-way, and all the time in danger of death. He says it makes + him weep when he sees them poor diluted fools going around and thinking + they is well men, talking and laughing and marrying and giving in to + marriage right on the edge of the grave. He sees dozens of 'em in every + town he comes to. But they can't fool him, he says. He can tell at a + glance who's got Bright's Disease in their kidneys and who ain't. His own + father, he says, was deathly sick fur years and years and never knowed it, + and the knowledge come on him sudden like, and he died. That was before + Siwash Injun Sagraw was ever found out about. Doctor Kirby broke down and + cried right there in the wagon when he thought of how his father might of + been saved if he was only alive now that that medicine was put up into + bottle form, six fur a five-dollar bill so long as he was in town, and + after that two dollars fur each bottle at the drug store. + </p> + <p> + He unrolled a big chart and the Injun helt it by that there gasoline lamp, + so all could see, turning the pages now and then. It was a map of a man's + inside organs and digestive ornaments and things. They was red and blue, + like each organ's own disease had turned it, and some of 'em was yaller. + And they was a long string of diseases printed in black hanging down from + each organ's picture. I never knowed before they was so many diseases nor + yet so many things to have 'em in. + </p> + <p> + Well, I was feeling purty good when that show started. But the doc, he + kep' looking right at me every now and then when he talked, and I couldn't + keep my eyes off'n him. + </p> + <p> + "Does your heart beat fast when you exercise?" he asts the crowd. "Is your + tongue coated after meals? Do your eyes leak when your nose is stopped up? + Do you perspire under your arm pits? Do you ever have a ringing in your + ears? Does your stomach hurt you after meals? Does your back ever ache? Do + you ever have pains in your legs? Do your eyes blur when you look at the + sun? Are your teeth coated? Does your hair come out when you comb it? Is + your breath short when you walk up stairs? Do your feet swell in warm + weather? Are there white spots on your finger nails? Do you draw your + breath part of the time through one nostril and part of the time through + the other? Do you ever have nightmare? Did your nose bleed easily when you + were growing up? Does your skin fester when scratched? Are your eyes gummy + in the mornings? Then," he says, "if you have any or all of these + symptoms, your blood is bad, and your liver is wasting away." + </p> + <p> + Well, sir, I seen I was in a bad way, fur at one time or another I had had + most of them there signs and warnings, and hadn't heeded 'em, and I had + some of 'em yet. I begun to feel kind o' sick, and looking at them organs + and diseases didn't help me none, either. The doctor, he lit out on + another string of symptoms, and I had them, too. Seems to me I had purty + nigh everything but fits. Kidney complaint and consumption both had a holt + on me. It was about a even bet which would get me first. I kind o' got to + wondering which. I figgered from what he said that I'd had consumption the + LONGEST while, but my kind of kidney trouble was an awful SLY kind, and it + was lible to jump in without no warning a-tall and jest natcherally wipe + me out QUICK. So I sort o' bet on the kidney trouble. But I seen I was a + goner, and I forgive Hank all his orneriness, fur a feller don't want to + die holding grudges. + </p> + <p> + Taking it the hull way through, that was about the best medicine show I + ever seen. But they didn't sell much. All the people what had any money + was to the circus agin that night. So they sung some more songs and closed + early and went into the hotel. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link2HCH0004" id="link2HCH0004"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + CHAPTER IV + </h2> + <p> + Well, the next morning I'm feeling considerable better, and think mebby + I'm going to live after all. I got up earlier'n Hank did, and slipped out + without him seeing me, and didn't go nigh the shop a-tall. Fur now I've + licked Hank oncet I figger he won't rest till he has wiped that disgrace + out, and he won't care a dern what he picks up to do it with, nuther. + </p> + <p> + They was a crick about a hundred yards from our house, in the woods, and I + went over there and laid down and watched it run by. I laid awful still, + thinking I wisht I was away from that town. Purty soon a squirrel comes + down and sets on a log and watches me. I throwed an acorn at him, and he + scooted up a tree quicker'n scatt. And then I wisht I hadn't scared him + away, fur it looked like he knowed I was in trouble. Purty soon I takes a + swim, and comes out and lays there some more, spitting into the water and + thinking what shall I do now, and watching birds and things moving around, + and ants working harder'n ever I would agin unless I got better pay fur + it, and these here tumble bugs kicking their loads along hind end to. + </p> + <p> + After a while it is getting along toward noon, and I'm feeling hungry. But + I don't want to have no more trouble with Hank, and I jest lays there. I + hearn two men coming through the underbrush. I riz up on my elbow to look, + and one of them was Doctor Kirby and the other was Looey, only Looey + wasn't an Injun this morning. + </p> + <p> + They sets down on the roots of a big tree a little ways off, with their + backs toward me, and they ain't seen me. So nacherally I listened to what + they was jawing about. They was both kind o' mad at the hull world, and at + our town in pertic'ler, and some at each other, too. The doctor, he says: + </p> + <p> + "I haven't had such rotten luck since I played the bloodhound in a Tom + Show—Were you ever an 'Uncle Tom's Cabin' artist, Looey?—and a + justice of the peace over in Iowa fined me five dollars for being on the + street without a muzzle. Said it was a city ordinance. Talk about the + gentle Rube being an easy mark! If these country towns don't get the + wandering minstrel's money one way they will another!" + </p> + <p> + "It's your own fault," says Looey, kind o' sour. + </p> + <p> + "I can't see it," says Doctor Kirby. "How did I know that all these + apple-knockers had been filled up with Sykes's Magic Remedy only two weeks + ago? I may have been a spiritualistic medium in my time now and then," he + says, "and a mind reader, too, but I'm no prophet." + </p> + <p> + "I ain't talking about the business, Doc, and you know it," says Looey. + "We'd be all right and have our horses and wagon now if you'd only stuck + to business and not got us into that poker game. Talk about suckers! Doc, + for a man that has skinned as many of 'em as you have, you're the worst + sucker yourself I ever saw." + </p> + <p> + The doctor, he cusses the poker game and country towns and medicine shows + and the hull creation and says he is so disgusted with life he guesses + he'll go and be a preacher or a bearded lady in a sideshow. But Looey, he + don't cheer up none. He says: + </p> + <p> + "All right, Doc, but it's no use talking. You can TALK all right. We all + know that. The question is how are we going to get our horses and wagon + away from these Rubes?" + </p> + <p> + I listens some more, and I seen them fellers was really into bad trouble. + Doctor Kirby, he had got into a poker game at Smith's Palace Hotel the + night before, right after the show. He had won from Jake Smith, which run + it, and from the others. But shucks! it never made no difference what you + won in that crowd. They had done Doctor Kirby and Looey like they always + done a drummer or a stranger that come along to that town and was fool + enough to play poker with them. They wasn't a chancet fur an outsider. If + the drummer lost, they would take his money and that would be all they was + to it. But if the drummer got to winning good, some one would slip out'n + the hotel and tell Si Emery, which was the city marshal. And Si would get + Ralph Scott, that worked fur Jake Smith in his livery stable, and pin a + star onto Ralph, too. And they would be arrested fur gambling, only them + that lived in our town would get away. Which Si and Ralph was always + scared every time they done it. Then the drummer, or whoever it was, would + be took to the calaboose, and spend all night there. + </p> + <p> + In the morning they would be took before Squire Matthews, that was justice + of the peace. They would be fined a big fine, and he would get all the + drummer had won and all he had brung to town with him besides. Squire + Matthews and Jake Smith and Windy Goodell and Mart Watson, which the two + last was lawyers, was always playing that there game on drummers that was + fool enough to play poker. Hank, he says he bet they divided it up + afterward, though it was supposed them fines went to the town. Well, they + played a purty closte game of poker in our little town. It was jest like + the doctor says to Looey: + </p> + <p> + "By George," he says, "it is a well-nigh perfect thing. If you lose you + lose, and if you win you lose." + </p> + <p> + Well, the doctor, he had started out winning the night before. And Si + Emery and Ralph Scott had arrested them. And that morning, while I had + been laying by the crick and the rest of the town was seeing the fun, they + had been took afore Squire Matthews and fined one hundred and twenty-five + dollars apiece. The doctor, he tells Squire Matthews it is an outrage, and + it ain't legal if tried in a bigger court, and they ain't that much money + in the world so fur as he knows, and he won't pay it. But, the squire, he + says the time has come to teach them travelling fakirs as is always + running around the country with shows and electric belts and things that + they got to stop dreening that town of hard-earned money, and he has + decided to make an example of 'em. The only two lawyers in town is Windy + and Mart, which has been in the poker game theirselves, the same as + always. The doctor says the hull thing is a put-up job, and he can't get + the money, and he wouldn't if he could, and he'll lay in that town + calaboose and rot the rest of his life and eat the town poor before he'll + stand it. And the squire says he'll jest take their hosses and wagon fur + c'latteral till they make up the rest of the two hundred and fifty + dollars. And the hosses and wagon was now in the livery stable next to + Smith's Palace Hotel, which Jake run that too. + </p> + <p> + Well, I thinks to myself, it IS a dern shame, and I felt sorry fur them + two fellers. Fur our town was jest as good as stealing that property. And + I felt kind o' shamed of belonging to such a town, too. And I thinks to + myself, I'd like to help 'em out of that scrape. And then I seen how I + could do it, and not get took up fur it, neither. So, without thinking, + all of a sudden I jumps up and says: + </p> + <p> + "Say, Doctor Kirby, I got a scheme!" + </p> + <p> + They jumps up too, and they looks at me startled. Then the doctor kind o' + laughs and says: + </p> + <p> + "Why, it's the young blacksmith!" + </p> + <p> + Looey, he says, looking at me hard and suspicious: + </p> + <p> + "What kind of a scheme are you talking about?" + </p> + <p> + "Why," says I, "to get that outfit of yourn." + </p> + <p> + "You've been listening to us," says Looey. Looey was one of them + quiet-looking fellers that never laughed much nor talked much. Looey, he + never made fun of nobody, which the doctor was always doing, and I + wouldn't of cared to make fun of Looey much, either. + </p> + <p> + "Yes," I says, "I been laying here fur quite a spell, and quite natcheral + I listened to you, as any one else would of done. And mebby I can get that + team and wagon of yourn without it costing you a cent." + </p> + <p> + Well, they didn't know what to say. They asts me how, but I says to leave + it all to me. "Walk right along down this here crick," I says, "till you + get to where it comes out'n the woods and runs acrost the road in under an + iron bridge. That's about a half a mile east. Jest after the road crosses + the bridge it forks. Take the right fork and walk another half a mile and + you'll see a little yaller-painted schoolhouse setting lonesome on a sand + hill. They ain't no school in it now. You wait there fur me," I says, "fur + a couple of hours. After that if I ain't there you'll know I can't make + it. But I think I'll make it." + </p> + <p> + They looks at each other and they looks at me, and then they go off a + little piece and talk low, and then the doctor says to me: + </p> + <p> + "Rube," he says, "I don't know how you can work anything on us that hasn't + been worked already. We've got nothing more we can lose. You go to it, + Rube." And they started off. + </p> + <p> + So I went over town. Jake Smith was setting on the piazza in front of his + hotel, chawing and spitting tobacco, with his feet agin the railing like + he always done, and one of his eyes squinched up and his hat over the + other one. + </p> + <p> + "Jake," I says, "where's that there doctor?" + </p> + <p> + Jake, he spit careful afore he answered, and he pulled his long, scraggly + moustache careful, and he squinched his eyes at me. Jake was a careful man + in everything he done. + </p> + <p> + "I dunno, Danny," he says. "Why?" + </p> + <p> + "Well," I says, "Hank sent me over to get that wagon and them hosses of + theirn and finish that job." + </p> + <p> + "That there wagon," says Jake, "is in my barn, with Si Emery watching her, + and she has got to stay there till the law lets her loose." I figgered to + myself Jake could use that team and wagon in his business, and was going + to buy her cheap offn the town, what share of her he didn't figger he + owned already. + </p> + <p> + "Why, Jake," I says, "I hope they ain't been no trouble of no kind that + has drug the law into your barn!" + </p> + <p> + "Well, Danny," he says, "they HAS been a little trouble. But it's about + over, now, I guess. And that there outfit belongs to the town now." + </p> + <p> + "You don't say so!" says I, surprised-like. "When I seen them men last + night it looked to me like they was too fine dressed to be honest." + </p> + <p> + "I don't think they be, Danny," says Jake, confidential. "In my opinion + they is mighty bad customers. But they has got on the wrong side of the + law now, and I guess they won't stay around here much longer." + </p> + <p> + "Well," says I, "Hank will be glad." + </p> + <p> + "Fur what?" asts Jake. + </p> + <p> + "Well," says I, "because he got his pay in advance fur that job and now he + don't have to finish it. They come along to our place about sundown + yesterday, and we nailed a shoe on one hoss. They was a couple of other + hoofs needed fixing, and the tire on one of the hind wheels was beginning + to rattle loose." + </p> + <p> + I had noticed that loose tire when I was standing by the hind wheel the + night before, and it come in handy now. So I goes on: + </p> + <p> + "Hank, he allowed he'd fix the hull thing fur six bottles of that Injun + medicine. Elmira has been ailing lately, and he wanted it fur her. So they + handed Hank out six bottles then and there." + </p> + <p> + "Huh!" says Jake. "So the job is all paid fur, is it?" + </p> + <p> + "Yes," says I, "and I was expecting to do it myself. But now I guess I'll + go fishing instead. They ain't no other job in the shop." + </p> + <p> + "I'll be dinged if you've got time to fish," says Jake. "I'm expecting + mebby to buy that rig off the town myself when the law lets loose of it. + So if the fixing is paid fur, I want everything fixed." + </p> + <p> + "Jake," says I, kind of worried like, "I don't want to do it without that + doctor says to go ahead." + </p> + <p> + "They ain't his'n no longer," says Jake. + </p> + <p> + "I dunno," says I, "as you got any right to make me do it, Jake. It don't + look to me like it's no harm to beat a couple of fellers like them out of + their medicine. And I DID want to go fishing this afternoon." + </p> + <p> + But Jake was that careful and stingy he'd try to skin a hoss twicet if it + died. He's bound to get that job done, now. + </p> + <p> + "Danny," he says, "you gotto do that work. It ain't HONEST not to. What a + young feller like you jest starting out into life wants to remember is to + always be honest. Then," says Jake, squinching up his eyes, "people trusts + you and you get a good chancet to make money. Look at this here hotel and + livery stable, Danny. Twenty years ago I didn't have no more'n you've got, + Danny. But I always went by them mottoes—hard work and being honest. + You GOTTO nail them shoes on, Danny, and fix that wheel." + </p> + <p> + "Well, all right, Jake," says I, "if you feel that way about it. Jest give + me a chaw of tobacco and come around and help me hitch 'em up." + </p> + <p> + Si Emery was there asleep on a pile of straw guarding that property. But + Ralph Scott wasn't around. Si didn't wake up till we had hitched 'em up. + He says he will ride around to the shop with me. But Jake says: + </p> + <p> + "It's all right, Si. I'll go over myself and fetch 'em back purty soon." + Which Si was wore out with being up so late the night before, and goes + back to sleep agin right off. + </p> + <p> + Well, sir, they wasn't nothing went wrong. I drove slow through the + village and past our shop. Hank come to the door of it as I went past. But + I hit them hosses a lick, and they broke into a right smart trot. Elmira, + she come onto the porch and I waved my hand at her. She put her hand up to + her forehead to shut out the sun and jest stared. She didn't know I was + waving her farewell. Hank, he yelled something at me, but I never hearn + what. I licked them hosses into a gallop and went around the turn of the + road. And that's the last I ever seen or hearn of Hank or Elmira or that + there little town. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link2HCH0005" id="link2HCH0005"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + CHAPTER V + </h2> + <p> + I slowed down when I got to the schoolhouse, and both them fellers piled + in. + </p> + <p> + "I guess I better turn north fur about a mile and then turn west, Doctor + Kirby," I says, "so as to make a kind of a circle around that town." + </p> + <p> + "Why, so, Rube?" he asts me. + </p> + <p> + "Well," I says, "we left it going east, and they'll foller us east; so + don't we want to be going west while they're follering east?" + </p> + <p> + Looey, he agreed with me. But he said it wouldn't be much use, fur we + would likely be ketched up with and took back and hung or something, + anyhow. Looey could get the lowest in his sperrits sometimes of any man I + ever seen. + </p> + <p> + "Don't be afraid of that," says the doctor. "They are not going to follow + us. THEY know they didn't get this property by due process of law. THEY + aren't going to take the case into a county court where it will all come + out about the way they robbed a couple of travelling men with a fake + trial." + </p> + <p> + "I guess you know more about the law'n I do," I says. "I kind o' thought + mebby we stole them hosses." + </p> + <p> + "Well," he says, "we got 'em, anyhow. And if they try to arrest us without + a warrant there'll be the deuce to pay. But they aren't going to make any + more trouble. I know these country crooks. They've got no stomach for + trouble outside their own township." + </p> + <p> + Which made me feel considerable better, fur I never been of the opinion + that going agin the law done any one no good. + </p> + <p> + They looks around in that wagon, and all their stuff was there—Jake + Smith and the squire having kep' it all together careful to make things + seem more legal, I suppose—and the doctor was plumb tickled, and + Looey felt as cheerful as he ever felt about anything. So the doctor says + they has everything they needs but some ready money, and he'll get that + sure, fur he never seen the time he couldn't. + </p> + <p> + "But, Looey," he says, "I'm done with country hotels from now on. They've + got the last cent they ever will from me—at least in the summer + time." + </p> + <p> + "How you going to work it?" Looey asts him, like he hasn't no hopes it + will work right. + </p> + <p> + "Camp out," says the doctor. "I've been thinking it all over." Then he + turns to me. "Rube," he says, "where are you going?" + </p> + <p> + "Well," I says, "I ain't pinted nowhere in pertic'ler except away from + that town we just left. Which my name ain't Rube, Doctor Kirby, but + Danny." + </p> + <p> + "Danny what?" asts he. + </p> + <p> + "Nothing," says I, "jest Danny." + </p> + <p> + "Well, then, Danny," says he, "how would you like to be an Indian?" + </p> + <p> + "Medical?" asts I, "or real?" + </p> + <p> + "Like Looey," says he. + </p> + <p> + I tells him being a medical Injun and mixed up with a show like his'n + would suit me down to the ground, and asts him what is the main duties of + one besides the blankets and the feathers. + </p> + <p> + "Well," he says, "this camping-out scheme of mine will take a couple of + Indians. Instead of paying hotel and feed bills we'll pitch our tent," he + says, "at the edge of town in each sweet Auburn of the plains. We'll save + money and we'll be near the throbbing heart of nature. And an Indian camp + in each place will be a good advertisement for the Sagraw. You can look + after the horses and learn to do the cooking and that kind o' thing. And + maybe after while," he says, kind o' working himself up to where he + thought it was going to be real nice, "maybe after while I will give you + some insight into the hidden mysteries of selling Siwash Indian Sagraw." + </p> + <p> + "Well," says I, "I'd like to learn that." + </p> + <p> + "Would you?" says he, kind o' laughing at himself and me too, and yet kind + o' enthusiastic, "well, then, the first thing you have to do is learn how + to sell corn salve. Any one that can sell corn salve can sell anything. + There's a farmhouse right over there, and I'll give you your first lesson + right now. Rummage around in that satchel there under the seat and get me + a tin box and some corn salve labels." + </p> + <p> + I found a lot of labels, and some boxes too. The labels was all different + sizes, but barring that they all looked about the same to me. Whilst I was + sizing them up he asts me agin was they any corn salve ones in there. + </p> + <p> + "What colour label is it, Doctor Kirby?" I asts him. Fur they was blue + labels and white labels and pink labels. + </p> + <p> + He looks at me right queer. "Can't you read the labels?" he says, right + sharp. + </p> + <p> + "Well," I says, "I never been much of a reader when it comes to different + kind of medicines." + </p> + <p> + "Corn salve is spelled only one way," says he. + </p> + <p> + "That's right," I says, "and you'd think I orter be able to pick out a + common, ordinary thing like corn salve right off, wouldn't you?" + </p> + <p> + "Danny," he says, "you don't mean to tell me you can't read anything at + all?" + </p> + <p> + "I never told you nothing of the kind." + </p> + <p> + He picks out a label. + </p> + <p> + "If you can read so fast, what's that?" he asts. + </p> + <p> + She is a pink one. I thinks to myself; she either is corn salve or else + she ain't corn salve. And it ain't natcheral he will pick corn salve, fur + he would think I would say that first off. So I'm betting it ain't. I + takes a chancet on it. + </p> + <p> + "That," says I, "is mighty easy reading. That is Siwash Injun Sagraw." I + lost. + </p> + <p> + "It's corn salve," he says. "And Great Scott! They call this the twentieth + century!" + </p> + <p> + "I never called it that," says I, sort o' mad-like. Fur I was feeling bad + Doctor Kirby had found out I was such a ignoramus. + </p> + <p> + "Where ignorance is bliss," says he, "it is folly to be wise. But all the + same, I'm going to take your education in hand and make you drink of + life's Peruvian springs." Or some spring like that it was. + </p> + <p> + And the doctor, he done it. Looey said it wouldn't be no use learning to + read. He'd done a lot of reading, he said, and it never helped him none. + All he ever read showed him this feller Hamlet was right, he said, when he + wrote Shakespeare's works, and they wasn't much use in anything, without + you had a lot o' money. And they wasn't no chancet to get that with all + these here trusts around gobbling up everything and stomping the poor man + into the dirt, and they was lots of times he wisht he was a Injun sure + enough, and not jest a medical one, fur then he'd be a free man and the + bosses and the trusts and the railroads and the robber tariff couldn't + touch him. And then he shut up, and didn't say nothing fur a hull hour, + except oncet he laughed. + </p> + <p> + Fur Doctor Kirby, he says, winking at me: "Looey, here, is a nihilist." + </p> + <p> + "Is he," says I, "what's that?" And the doctor tells me about how they + blow up dukes and czars and them foreign high-mucky-mucks with dynamite. + Which is when Looey laughed. + </p> + <p> + Well, we jogged along at a pretty good gait fur several hours, and we + stayed that night at a Swede's place, which the doctor paid him fur + everything in medicine, only it took a long time to make the bargain, fur + them Swedes is always careful not to get cheated, and hasn't many + diseases. And the next night we showed in a little town, and done right + well, and took in considerable money. We stayed there three days and + bought a tent and a sheet-iron stove and some skillets and things and some + provisions, and a suit of duds for me. + </p> + <p> + Well, we went on, and we kept going on, and they was bully times. We'd + ease up careful toward a town, and pick us out a place on the edge, where + the hosses could graze along the side of the road; and most ginerally by a + piece of woods not fur from that town, and nigh a crick, if we could. Then + we'd set up our tent. After we had everything fixed, I'd put on my Injun + clothes and Looey his'n, and we'd drive through the main store street of + the town at a purty good lick, me a-holt of the reins, and the doctor all + togged out in his best clothes, and Looey doing a Injun dance in the midst + of the wagon. I'd pull up the hosses sudden in front of the post-office or + the depot platform or the hotel, and the people would come crowding + around, and the doctor he'd make a little talk from the wagon, and tell + everybody they would be a free show that night on that corner, and fur + everybody to come to it. And then we'd drive back to camp, lickitysplit. + </p> + <p> + Purty soon every boy in town would be out there, kind o' hanging around, + to see what a Injun camp was like. And the farmers that went into and out + of town always stopped and passed the time of day, and the Injun camp got + the hull town all worked up as a usual thing; and the doctor, he done + well, fur when night come every one would be on hand. Looey and me, every + time we went into town, had on our Injun suits, and the doctor, he + wondered why he hadn't never thought up that scheme before. Sometimes, + when they was lots of people ailing in a town, and they hadn't been no + show fur quite a while, we'd stay five or six days, and make a good + clean-up. The doctor, he sent to Chicago several times fur alcohol in + barrels, 'cause he was selling it so fast he had to make new Sagraw. And + he had to get more and more bottles, and a hull satchel full of new Sagraw + labels printed. + </p> + <p> + And all the time the doctor was learning me education. And shucks! they + wasn't nothing so hard about it oncet you'd got started in to reading + things. I jest natcherally took to print like a duck to water, and inside + of a month I was reading nigh everything that has ever been wrote. He had + lots of books with him and every time a new sockdologer of a word come + along and I learnt how to spell her and where she orter fit in to make + sense it kind o' tickled me all over. And many's the time afterward, when + me and the doctor had lost track of each other, and they was quite a spell + people got to thinking I was a tramp, I've went into these here Andrew + Carnegie libraries in different towns jest as much to see if they had + anything fitten to read as fur to keep warm. + </p> + <p> + Well, we went easing over toward the Indiany line, and we was having a + purty good time. They wasn't no work to do you could call really hard, and + they was plenty of vittles. Afternoons we'd lazy around the camp and swap + stories and make medicine if we needed a batch, and josh back and forth + with the people that hung around, and loaf and doze and smoke; or mebby do + a little fishing if we was nigh a crick. + </p> + <p> + And nights after the show was over it was fun, too. We always had a fire, + even if it was a hot night, fur to cook by in the first place, and fur to + keep mosquitoes off, and to make things seem more cheerful. They ain't + nothing so good as hanging round a campfire. And they ain't nothing any + better than sleeping outdoors, neither. You roll up in your blanket with + your feet to the fire and you get to wondering things about things afore + you go to sleep. The silentness jest natcherally swamps everything after a + while, and then all them queer little noises you never hear in the daytime + comes popping and poking through the silentness, or kind o' scratching + their way through it sometimes, and makes it kind o' feel more silent than + ever. And if you are nigh a crick, purty soon it will sort of get to + talking to you, only you can't make out what it's trying to say, and you + get to wondering about that, too. And if you are in a tent and it rains + and the tent don't leak, that rain is a kind of a nice thing to listen to + itself. But if you can see the stars you get to wondering more'n ever. + They come out and they is so many of them and they are so fur away, and + yet they are so kind o' friendly-like, too, if you happen to be feeling + purty good. But if you ain't feeling purty good, jest lay there and look + at them stars long enough; and then mebby you'll see it don't make no + difference whether you're feeling good or not, fur they got a way o' + making your private troubles look mighty small. And you get to wondering + why that is, too, fur they ain't human; and it don't stand to reason you + orter pay no attention to them, one way nor the other. They is jest there, + like trees and cricks and hills. But I have often noticed that the things + that is jest there has got a way of seeming more friendly than the things + that has been built and put there. You can look at a big iron bridge or a + grain elevator or a canal all day long, and if you're feeling blue it + don't help you none. It was jest put there. Or a hay stack is the same + way. But you go and lazy around in the grass when you're down on your luck + and kind o' make remarks to a crick or a big, old walnut tree, and before + long it gets you to feeling like it didn't make no difference how you + felt, anyhow; fur you don't amount to nothing by the side of something + that was always there. You get to thinking how the hull world itself was + always here, and you sort o' see they ain't nothing important enough about + yourself to worry about, and presently you will go to sleep and forget it. + The doctor says to me one time them stars ain't any different from this + world, and this is one of them. Which is a fool idea, as any one can see. + He had a lot of queer ideas like that, Doctor Kirby had. But they ain't + nothing like sleeping out of doors nights to make you wonder the kind of + wonderings you never will get any answer to. + </p> + <p> + Well, I never cared so much fur houses after them days. They was bully + times, them was. And I was kind of proud of being with a show, too. Many's + the time I have went down the street in that there Injun suit, and seen + how the young fellers would of give all they owned to be me. And every now + and then you would hear one say when you went past: + </p> + <p> + "Huh, I know him! That's one of them show fellers!" + </p> + <p> + One afternoon we pitches our tent right on the edge of a little town + called Athens. We was nigh the bank of a crick, and they was a grove + there. We was camped jest outside of a wood-lot fence, and back in through + the trees from us they was a house with a hedge fence all around it. They + was apple trees and all kind of flower bushes and things inside of the + hedge. The second day we was there I takes a walk back through the + wood-lot, and along past the house, and they was one of these here early + harvest apple trees spilling apples through a gap in the fence. Them is a + mighty sweet and juicy kind of apple, and I picks one up and bites into + it. + </p> + <p> + "I think you might have asked for it," says some one. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link2HCH0006" id="link2HCH0006"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + CHAPTER VI + </h2> + <p> + I looks up, and that was how I got acquainted with Martha. She was eating + one herself, setting up in the tree like a boy. In her lap was a book she + had been reading. She was leaning back into the fork two limbs made so as + not to tumble. + </p> + <p> + "Well," I says, "can I have one?" + </p> + <p> + "You've eaten it already," she says, "so there isn't any use begging for + it now." + </p> + <p> + I seen she was a tease, that girl, and I would of give anything to of been + able to tease her right back agin. But I couldn't think of nothing to say, + so I jest stands there kind o' dumb like, thinking what a dern purty girl + she was, and thinking how dumb I must look, and I felt my face getting + red. Doctor Kirby would of thought of something to say right off. And + after I got back to camp I would think of something myself. But I couldn't + think of nothing bright, so I says: + </p> + <p> + "Well, then, you give me another one!" + </p> + <p> + She gives the core of the one she has been eating a toss at me. But I + ketched it, and made like I was going to throw it back at her real hard. + She slung up her arm, and dodged back, and she dropped her book. + </p> + <p> + I thinks to myself I'll learn that girl to get sassy and make me feel like + a dumb-head, even if she is purty. So I don't say a word. I jest picks up + that book and sticks it under my arm and walks away slow with it to where + they was a stump a little ways off, not fur from the crick, and sets down + with my back to her and opens it. And I was trying all the time to think + of something smart to say to her. But I couldn't of done it if I was to be + shot. Still, I thinks to myself, no girl can sass me and not get sassed + back, neither. + </p> + <p> + I hearn a scramble behind me which I knowed was her getting out of that + tree. And in a minute she was in front of me, mad. + </p> + <p> + "Give me my book," she says. + </p> + <p> + But I only reads the name of the book out loud, fur to aggervate her. I + had on purty good duds, but I kind of wisht I had on my Injun rig then. + You take the girls that always comes down to see the passenger train come + into the depot in them country towns and that Injun rig of mine and + Looey's always made 'em turn around and look at us agin. I never wisht I + had on them Injun duds so hard before in my life. But I couldn't think of + nothing bright to say, so I jest reads the name of that book over to + myself agin, kind o' grinning like I got a good joke I ain't going to tell + any one. + </p> + <p> + "You give me my book," she says agin, red as one of them harvest apples, + "or I'll tell Miss Hampton you stole it and she'll have you and your show + arrested." + </p> + <p> + I reads the name agin. It was "The Lost Heir." I seen I had her good and + teased now, so I says: "It must be one of these here love stories by the + way you take on over it." + </p> + <p> + "It's not," she says, getting ready to cry. "And what right have you got + in our wood-lot, anyhow?" + </p> + <p> + "Well," I says, "I was jest about to move on and climb out of it when you + hollered to me from that tree." + </p> + <p> + "I didn't!" she says. But she was mad because she knowed she HAD spoke to + me first, and she was awful sorry she had. + </p> + <p> + "I thought I hearn you holler," I says, "but I guess it must of been a + squirrel." I said it kind o' sarcastic like, fur I was still mad with + myself fur being so dumb when we first seen each other. I hadn't no idea + it would hurt her feelings as hard as it did. But all of a sudden she + begins to wink, and her chin trembled, and she turned around short, and + started to walk off slow. She was mad with herself fur being ketched in a + lie, and she was wondering what I would think of her fur being so bold as + to of spoke first to a feller she didn't know. + </p> + <p> + I got up and follered her a little piece. And it come to me all to oncet I + had teased her too hard, and I was down on myself fur it. + </p> + <p> + "Say," I says, kind of tagging along beside of her, "here's your old + book." + </p> + <p> + But she didn't make no move to take it, and her hands was over her face, + and she wouldn't pull 'em down to even look at it. + </p> + <p> + So I tried agin. + </p> + <p> + "Well," I says, feeling real mean, "I wisht you wouldn't cry. I didn't go + to make you do that." + </p> + <p> + She drops her hands and whirls around on me, mad as a wet hen right off. + </p> + <p> + "I'm not! I'm not!" she sings out, and stamps her feet. "I'm not crying!" + But jest then she loses her holt on herself and busts out and jest + natcherally bellers. "I hate you!" she says, like she could of killed me. + </p> + <p> + That made me kind of dumb agin. Fur it come to me all to oncet I liked + that girl awful well. And here I'd up and made her hate me. I held the + book out to her agin and says: + </p> + <p> + "Well, I'm mighty sorry fur that, fur I don't feel that-a-way about you + a-tall. Here's your book." + </p> + <p> + Well, sir, she snatches that book and she gives it a sling. I thought it + was going kersplash into the crick. But it didn't. It hit right into the + fork of a limb that hung down over the crick, and it all spread out when + it lit, and stuck in that crotch somehow. She couldn't of slung it that + way on purpose in a million years. We both stands and looks at it a + minute. + </p> + <p> + "Oh, oh!" she says, "what have I done? It's out of the town library and + I'll have to pay for it." + </p> + <p> + "I'll get it fur you," I says. But it wasn't no easy job. If I shook that + limb it would tumble into the crick. But I clumb the tree and eased out on + that limb as fur as I dast to. And, of course, jest as I got holt of the + book, that limb broke and I fell into the crick. But I had the book. It + was some soaked, but I reckoned it could still be read. + </p> + <p> + I clumb out and she was jest splitting herself laughing at me. The wet on + her face where she had cried wasn't dried up yet, and she was laughing + right through it, kind o' like the sun does to one of these here May + rainstorms sometimes, and she was the purtiest girl I ever seen. Gosh!—how + I was getting to like that girl! And she told me I looked like a drowned + rat. + </p> + <p> + Well, that was how Martha and me was interduced. She wasn't more'n + sixteen, and when she found out I was a orphan she was glad, fur she was + one herself. Which Miss Hampton that lived in that house had took her to + raise. And when I tells her how I been travelling around the country all + summer she claps her hands and she says: + </p> + <p> + "Oh, you are on a quest! How romantic!" + </p> + <p> + I asts her what is a quest. And she tells me. She knowed all about them, + fur Martha was considerable of a reader. Some of them was longer and some + of them was shorter, them quests, but mostly, Martha says, they was fur a + twelvemonth and a day. And then you are released from your vow and one of + these here queens gives you a whack over the shoulder with a sword and + says: "Arise, Sir Marmeluke, I dub you a night." And then it is legal fur + you to go out and rescue people and reform them and spear them if they + don't see things your way, and come between husband and wife when they + row, and do a heap of good in the world. Well, they was other kind of + quests too, but mostly you married somebody, or was dubbed a night, or + found the party you was looking fur, in the end. And Martha had it all + fixed up in her own mind I was in a quest to find my father. Fur, says + she, he is purty certain to be a powerful rich man and more'n likely a + earl. + </p> + <p> + The way I was found, Martha says, kind o' pints to the idea they was a + earl mixed up in it somewhere. She had read a lot about earls, and knew + their ways. Mebby my mother was a earl's daughter. Earl's daughters is the + worst fur leaving you out in baskets, going by what Martha said. It is a + kind of a habit with them, fur they is awful proud people. But it was a + lucky way to start life, from all she said, that basket way. There was + Moses was left out that way, and when he growed up he was made a kind of a + president of the hull human race, the same as Ruzevelt, and figgered out + the twelve commandments. Martha would of give anything if she could of + only been found in a basket like me, I could see that. But she wasn't. She + had jest been left a orphan when her folks died. They wasn't even no hopes + she had been changed at birth fur another one. But I seen down in under + everything Martha kind o' thought mebby one of them nights might come + a-prancing along and wed her in spite of herself, or she would be carried + off, or something. She was a very romanceful kind of girl. + </p> + <p> + When I seen she had it figgered out I was in a quest fur some + high-mucky-muck fur a dad, I didn't tell her no different. I didn't take + much stock in them earls and nights myself. So fur as I could see they was + all furriners of one kind or another. But that thing of being into a quest + kind of interested me, too. + </p> + <p> + "How would I know him if I was to run acrost him?" I asts her. + </p> + <p> + "You would feel an Intangible Something," she says, "drawing you toward + him." + </p> + <p> + I asts her what kind of a something. I make out from what she says it is + some like these fellers that can find water with a piece of witch hazel + switch. You take a switch of it between your thumbs and point it up. Then + you shut your eyes and walk backwards. When you get over where the water + is the witch hazel stick twists around and points to the ground. You dig + there and you get a good well. Nobody knows jest why that stick is drawed + to the ground. It is like one of these little whirlygig compasses is + drawed to the north. It is the same, Martha says, if you is on a quest fur + a father or a mother, only you have got to be worthy of that there quest, + she says. The first time you meet the right one you are drawed jest like + the witch hazel. That is the Intangible Something working on you, she + says. Martha had learnt a lot about that. The book that had fell in the + crick was like that. She lent it to me. + </p> + <p> + Well, that all sounded kind of reasonable to me. I seen that witch hazel + work myself. Old Blindy Wolfe, whose eyes had been dead fur so many years + they had turned plumb white, had that gift, and picked out all the places + fur wells that was dug in our neighbourhood at home. And I makes up my + mind I will watch out fur that feeling of being drawed wherever I goes + after this. You can't tell what will come of them kind of things. So purty + soon Martha has to milk the cow, and I goes along back to camp thinking + about that quest and about what a purty girl she is, which we had set + there talking so long it was nigh sundown and my clothes had dried onto + me. + </p> + <p> + When I got over to camp I seen they must be something wrong. Looey was + setting in the grass under the wagon looking kind of sour and kind of + worried and watching the doctor. The doctor was jest inside the tent, and + he was looking queer too, and not cheerful, which he was usually. + </p> + <p> + The doctor looks at me like he don't skeercly know me. Which he don't. He + has one of them quiet kind of drunks on. Which Looey explains is bound to + come every so often. He don't do nothing mean, but jest gets low-sperrited + and won't talk to no one. Then all of a sudden he will go down town and + walk up and down the main streets, orderly, but looking hard into people's + faces, mostly women's faces. Oncet, Looey says, they was big trouble over + it. They was in a store in a good-sized town, and he took hold of a + woman's chin, and tilted her face back, and looked at her hard, and most + scared her to death, and they was nearly being a riot there. And he was + jailed and had to pay a big fine. Since then Looey always follers him + around when he is that-a-way. + </p> + <p> + Well, that night Doctor Kirby is too fur gone fur us to have our show. He + jest sets and stares and stares at the fire, and his eyes looks like they + is another fire inside of his head, and he is hurting outside and in. + Looey and me watches him from the shadders fur a long time before we turns + in, and the last thing I seen before I went to sleep was him setting there + with his face in his hands, staring, and his lips moving now and then like + he was talking to himself. + </p> + <p> + The next day he is asleep all morning. But that day he don't drink any + more, and Looey says mebby it ain't going to be one of the reg'lar + pifflicated kind. I seen Martha agin that day, too—twicet I has + talks with her. I told her about the doctor. + </p> + <p> + "Is he into a quest, do you think?" I asts her. + </p> + <p> + She says she thinks it is remorse fur some crime he has done. But I + couldn't figger Doctor Kirby would of done none. So that night after the + show I says to him, innocent-like: + </p> + <p> + "Doctor Kirby, what is a quest?" He looks at me kind of queer. + </p> + <p> + "Wherefore," says he, "this sudden thirst for enlightenment?" + </p> + <p> + "I jest run acrost the word accidental-like," I told him. + </p> + <p> + He looks at me awful hard, his eyes jest natcherally digging into me. I + felt like he knowed I had set out to pump him. I wisht I hadn't tried it. + Then he tells me a quest is a hunt. And I'm glad that's over with. But it + ain't. Fur purty soon he says: + </p> + <p> + "Danny, did you ever hear of Lady Clara Vere de Vere?" + </p> + <p> + "No," I says, "who is she?" + </p> + <p> + "A lady friend of Lord Tennyson's," he says, "whose manners were above + reproach." + </p> + <p> + "Well," I says, "she sounds kind of like a medicine to me." + </p> + <p> + "Lady Clara," he says, "and all the other Vere de Veres, were people with + manners we should try to imitate. If Lady Clara had been here last night + when I was talking to myself, Danny, her manners wouldn't have let her + listen to what I was talking about." + </p> + <p> + "I didn't listen!" I says. Fur I seen what he was driving at now with them + Vere de Veres. He thought I had ast him what a quest was because he was on + one. I was certain of that, now. He wasn't quite sure what he had been + talking about, and he wanted to see how much I had hearn. I thinks to + myself it must be a awful funny kind of hunt he is on, if he only hunts + when he is in that fix. But I acted real innocent and like my feelings was + hurt, and he believed me. Purty soon he says, cheerful like: + </p> + <p> + "There was a girl talking to you to-day, Danny." + </p> + <p> + "Mebby they was," I says, "and mebby they wasn't." But I felt my face + getting red all the same, and was mad because it did. He grinned kind of + aggervating at me and says some poetry at me about in the spring a young + man's frenzy likely turns to thoughts of love. + </p> + <p> + "Well," I says, kind of sheepish-like, "this is summer-time, and purty + nigh autumn." Then I seen I'd jest as good as owned up I liked Martha, and + was kind of mad at myself fur that. But I told him some more about her, + too. Somehow I jest couldn't help it. He laughs at me and goes on into the + tent. + </p> + <p> + I laid there and looked at the fire fur quite a spell, outside the tent. I + was thinking, if all them tales wasn't jest dern foolishness, how I wisht + I would really find a dad that was a high-muckymuck and could come back in + an automobile and take her away. I laid there fur a long, long time; it + must of been fur a couple of hours. I supposed the doctor had went to + sleep. + </p> + <p> + But all of a sudden I looks up, and he is in the door of the tent staring + at me. I seen he had been in there at it hard agin, and thinking, + quiet-like, all this time. He stood there in the doorway of the tent, with + the firelight onto his face and his red beard, and his arms stretched out, + holding to the canvas and looking at me strange and wild. Then he moved + his hand up and down at me, and he says: + </p> + <p> + "If she's fool enough to love you, treat her well—treat her well. + For if you don't, you can never run away from the hell you'll carry in + your own heart." + </p> + <p> + And he kind of doubled up and pitched forward when he said that, and if I + hadn't ketched him he would of fell right acrost the fire. He was plumb + pifflicated. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link2HCH0007" id="link2HCH0007"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + CHAPTER VII + </h2> + <p> + Martha wouldn't of took anything fur being around Miss Hampton, she said. + Miss Hampton was kind of quiet and sweet and pale looking, and nobody ever + thought of talking loud or raising any fuss when she was around. She had + enough money of her own to run herself on, and she kep' to herself a good + deal. She had come to that town from no one knowed where, years ago, and + bought that place. Fur all of her being so gentle and easy and talking + with one of them soft, drawly kind of voices, Martha says, no one had ever + dared to ast her about herself, though they was a lot of women in that + town that was wishful to. + </p> + <p> + But Martha said she knowed what Miss Hampton's secret was, and she hadn't + told no one, neither. Which she told me, and all the promising I done + about not telling would of made the cold chills run up your back, it was + so solemn. Miss Hampton had been jilted years ago, Martha said, and the + name of the jilter was David Armstrong. Well, he must of been a low down + sort of man. Martha said if things was only fixed in this country like + they ought to be, she would of sent a night to find that David Armstrong. + And that would of ended up in a mortal combat, and the night would have + cleaved him. + </p> + <p> + "Yes," says I, "and then you would of married that there night, I + suppose." + </p> + <p> + She says she would of. + </p> + <p> + "Well," says I, "mebby you would of and mebby you wouldn't of. If he + cleaved David Armstrong, that night would likely be arrested fur it." + </p> + <p> + Martha says if he was she would wait outside his dungeon keep fur years + and years, till she was a old woman with gray in her hair, and every day + they would give lingering looks at each other through the window bars. And + they would be happy thata-way. And she would get her a white dove and + train it so it would fly up to that window and take in notes to him, and + he would send notes back that-away, and they would both be awful sad and + romanceful and contented doing that-a-way fur ever and ever. + </p> + <p> + Well, I never took no stock in them mournful ways of being happy. I + couldn't of riz up to being a night fur Martha. She expected too much of + one. I thought it over fur a little spell without saying anything, and I + tried to make myself believe I would of liked all that dove business. But + it wasn't no use pertending. I knowed I would get tired of it. + </p> + <p> + "Martha," I says, "mebby these here nights is all right, and mebby they + ain't. I never seen one, and I don't know. And, mind you, I ain't saying a + word agin their way of acting. I can't say how I would of been myself, if + I had been brung up like them. But it looks to me, from some of the things + you've said about 'em, they must have a dern fool streak in 'em + somewheres." + </p> + <p> + I was kind of jealous of them nights, I guess, or I wouldn't of run 'em + down that-a-way behind their backs. But the way she was always taking on + over them was calkelated to make me see I wasn't knee-high to a duck in + Martha's mind when one of them nights popped into her head. When I run 'em + down that-a-way, she says to the blind all things is blind, and if I had + any chivalry into me myself I'd of seen they wasn't jest dern fools, but + noble, and seen it easy. And she sighed, like she'd looked fur better + things from me. When I hearn her do that I felt sorry I hadn't come up to + her expectances. So I says: + </p> + <p> + "Martha, it's no use pertending I could stay in one of them jails and keep + happy at it. I got to be outdoors. But I tell you what I can do, if it + will make you feel any better. If I ever happen to run acrost this here + David Armstrong, and he is anywheres near my size, I'll lick him fur you. + And if he's too hefty fur me to lick him fair," I says, "and I get a good + chancet I will hit him with a piece of railroad iron fur you." + </p> + <p> + Of course, I knowed I would never find him. But what I said seemed to + brighten her up a little. + </p> + <p> + "But," says I, "if I went too fur with it, and was hung fur it, how would + you feel then, Martha?" + </p> + <p> + Well, sir, that didn't jar Martha none. She looked kind of dreamy and said + mebby she would go and jine a convent and be a nun. And when she got to be + the head nun she would build a chapel over the tomb where I was buried in. + And every year, on the day of the month I was hung on, she would lead all + the other nuns into that chapel, and the organ would play mournful, and + each nun as passed would lay down a bunch of white roses onto my tomb. I + reckon that orter made me feel good, but somehow it didn't. + </p> + <p> + So I changed the subject, and asts her why I ain't seen Miss Hampton + around the place none. Martha says she has a bad sick headache and ain't + been outside the house fur four or five days. I asts her why she don't + wait on her. But she don't want her to, Martha says. She's been staying in + the house ever since we been in town, and jest wants to be let alone. I + thinks all that is kind of funny. And then I seen from the way Martha is + answering my questions that she is holding back something she would like + to tell, but don't think she orter tell. I leaves her alone and purty soon + she says: + </p> + <p> + "Do you believe in ghosts?" + </p> + <p> + I tell her sometimes I think I don't believe in 'em, and sometimes I think + I do, but anyhow I would hate to see one. I asts her why does she ast. + </p> + <p> + "Because," she says, "because—but I hadn't ought to tell you." + </p> + <p> + "It's daylight," I says; "it's no use being scared to tell now." + </p> + <p> + "It ain't that," she says, "but it's a secret." + </p> + <p> + When she said it was a secret, I knowed she would tell. Martha liked + having her friends help her to keep a secret. + </p> + <p> + "I think Miss Hampton has seen one," she says, finally, "and that her + staying indoors has something to do with that." + </p> + <p> + Then she tells me. The night of the day after we camped there, her and + Miss Hampton was out fur a walk. We didn't have any show that night. They + passed right by our camp, and they seen us there by the fire, all three of + us. But they was in the road in the dark, and we was all in the light, so + none of the three of us seen them. Miss Hampton was kind of scared of us, + first glance, fur she gasped and grabbed holt of Martha's arm all of a + sudden so tight she pinched it. Which it was very natcheral that she would + be startled, coming across three strange men all of a sudden at night + around a turn in the road. They went along home, and Martha went inside + and lighted a lamp, but Miss Hampton lingered on the porch fur a minute. + Jest as she lit the lamp Martha hearn another little gasp, or kind of + sigh, from Miss Hampton out there on the porch. Then they was the sound of + her falling down. Martha ran out with the lamp, and she was laying there. + She had fainted and keeled over. Martha said jest in the minute she had + left her alone on the porch was when Miss Hampton must of seen the ghost. + Martha brung her to, and she was looking puzzled and wild-like both to + oncet. Martha asts her what is the matter. + </p> + <p> + "Nothing," she says, rubbing her fingers over her forehead in a helpless + kind of way, "nothing." + </p> + <p> + "You look like you had seen a ghost," Martha tells her. + </p> + <p> + Miss Hampton looks at Martha awful funny, and then she says mebby she HAS + seen a ghost, and goes along upstairs to bed. And since then she ain't + been out of the house. She tells Martha it is a sick headache, but Martha + says she knows it ain't. She thinks she is scared of something. + </p> + <p> + "Scared?" I says. "She wouldn't see no more ghosts in the daytime." + </p> + <p> + Martha says how do I know she wouldn't? She knows a lot about ghosts of + all kinds, Martha does. + </p> + <p> + Horses and dogs can see them easier than humans, even in the daytime, and + it makes their hair stand up when they do. But some humans that have the + gift can see them in the daytime like an animal. And Martha asts me how + can I tell but Miss Hampton is like that? + </p> + <p> + "Well, then," I says, "she must be a witch. And if she is a witch why is + she scared of them a-tall?" + </p> + <p> + But Martha says if you have second sight you don't need to be a witch to + see them in the daytime. + </p> + <p> + Well, you can never tell about them ghosts. Some says one thing and some + says another. Old Mis' Primrose, in our town, she always believed in 'em + firm till her husband died. When he was dying they fixed it up he was to + come back and visit her. She told him he had to, and he promised. And she + left the front door open fur him night after night fur nigh a year, in all + kinds of weather; but Primrose never come. Mis' Primrose says he never + lied to her, and he always done jest as she told him, and if he could of + come she knowed he would; and when he didn't she quit believing in ghosts. + But they was others in our town said it didn't prove nothing at all. They + said Primrose had really been lying to her all his life, because she was + so bossy he had to lie to keep peace in the fambly, and she never ketched + on. Well, if I was a ghost and had of been Mis' Primrose's husband when I + was a human, I wouldn't of come back neither, even if she had of + bully-ragged me into one of them death-bed promises. I guess Primrose + figgered he had earnt a rest. + </p> + <p> + If they is ghosts, what comfort they can get out of coming back where they + ain't wanted and scaring folks is more'n I can see. It's kind of low down, + I think, and foolish too. Them kind of ghosts is like these here overgrown + smart alecs that scares kids. They think they are mighty cute, but they + ain't. They are jest foolish. A human, or a ghost either, that does things + like that is jest simply got no principle to him. I hearn a lot of talk + about 'em, first and last, and I ain't ready to say they ain't no ghosts, + nor yet ready to say they is any. To say they is any is to say something + that is too plumb unlikely. And too many people has saw them fur me to say + they ain't any. But if they is, or they ain't, so fur as I can see, it + don't make much difference. Fur they never do nothing, besides scaring + you, except to rap on tables and tell fortunes, and such fool things. + Which a human can do it all better and save the expense of paying money to + one of these here sperrit mediums that travels around and makes 'em + perform. But all the same they has been nights I has felt different about + 'em myself, and less hasty to run 'em down. Well, it don't do no good to + speak harsh of no one, not even a ghost or a ordinary dead man, and if I + was to see a ghost, mebby I would be all the scareder fur what I have jest + wrote. + </p> + <p> + Well, with all the talking back and forth we done about them ghosts we + couldn't agree. That afternoon it seemed like we couldn't agree about + anything. I knowed we would be going away from there before long, and I + says to myself before I go I'm going to have that girl fur my girl, or + else know the reason why. No matter what I was talking about, that idea + was in the back of my head, and somehow it kind of made me want to pick + fusses with her, too. We was setting on a log, purty deep into the woods, + and there come a time when neither of us had said nothing fur quite a + spell. But after a while I says: + </p> + <p> + "Martha, we'll be going away from here in two, three days now." + </p> + <p> + She never said nothing. + </p> + <p> + "Will you be sorry?" I asts her. + </p> + <p> + She says she will be sorry. + </p> + <p> + "Well," I says, "WHY will you be sorry?" + </p> + <p> + I thought she would say because <i>I</i> was going. And then I would be + finding out whether she liked me a lot. But she says the reason she will + be sorry is because there will be no one new to talk to about things both + has read. I was considerable took down when she said that. + </p> + <p> + "Martha," I says, "it's more'n likely I won't never see you agin after I + go away." + </p> + <p> + She says that kind of parting comes between the best of friends. + </p> + <p> + I seen I wasn't getting along very fast, nor saying what I wanted to say. + I reckon one of them Sir Marmeluke fellers would of knowed what to say. Or + Doctor Kirby would. Or mebby even Looey would of said it better than I + could. So I was kind of mad with myself, and I says, mean-like: + </p> + <p> + "If you don't care, of course, I don't care, neither." + </p> + <p> + She never answered that, so I gets up and makes like I am starting off. + </p> + <p> + "I was going to give you some of them there Injun feathers of mine to + remember me by," I tells her, "but if you don't want 'em, there's plenty + of others would be glad to take 'em." + </p> + <p> + But she says she would like to have them. + </p> + <p> + "Well," I says, "I will bring them to you tomorrow afternoon." + </p> + <p> + She says, "Thank you." + </p> + <p> + Finally I couldn't stand it no longer. I got brave all of a sudden, and + busted out: "Martha, I—I—I—" + </p> + <p> + But I got to stuttering, and my braveness stuttered itself away. And I + finishes up by saying: + </p> + <p> + "I like you a hull lot, Martha." Which wasn't jest exactly what I had + planned fur to say. + </p> + <p> + Martha, she says she kind of likes me, too. + </p> + <p> + "Martha," I says, "I like you more'n any girl I ever run acrost before." + </p> + <p> + She says, "Thank you," agin. The way she said it riled me up. She said it + like she didn't know what I meant, nor what I was trying to get out of me. + But she did know all the time. I knowed she did. She knowed I knowed it, + too. Gosh-dern it, I says to myself, here I am wasting all this time jest + TALKING to her. The right thing to do come to me all of a sudden, and like + to took my breath away. But I done it. I grabbed her and I kissed her. + </p> + <p> + Twice. And then agin. Because the first was on the chin on account of her + jerking her head back. And the second one she didn't help me none. But the + third time she helped me a little. And the ones after that she helped me + considerable. + </p> + <p> + Well, they ain't no use trying to talk about the rest of that afternoon. I + couldn't rightly describe it if I wanted to. And I reckon it's none of + anybody's business. + </p> + <p> + Well, it makes you feel kind of funny. You want to go out and pick on + somebody about four sizes bigger'n you are and knock the socks off'n him. + It stands to reason others has felt that-a-way, but you don't believe it. + You want to tell people about it one minute. The next minute you have got + chills and ague fur fear some one will guess it. And you think the way you + are about her is going to last fur always. + </p> + <p> + That evening, when I was cooking supper, I laughed every time I was spoke + to. When Looey and I was hitching up to drive down town to give the show, + one of the hosses stepped on his foot and I laughed at that, and there was + purty nigh a fight. And I was handling some bottles and broke one and cut + my hand on a piece of glass. I held it out fur a minute dumb-like, with + the blood and medicine dripping off of it, and all of a sudden I busted + out laughing agin. The doctor asts if I am crazy. And Looey says he has + thought I was from the very first, and some night him and the doctor will + be killed whilst asleep. One of the things we have every night in the show + is an Injun dance, and Looey and I sings what the doctor calls the Siwash + war chant, whirling round and round each other, and making licks at each + other with our tommyhawks, and letting out sudden wild yips in the midst + of that chant. That night I like to of killed Looey with that tommyhawk, I + was feeling so good. If it had been a real one, instead of painted-up + wood, I would of killed Looey, the lick I give him. The worst part of that + was that, after the show, when we got back to camp and the hosses was + picketed out fur the night, I had to tell Looey all about how I felt fur + an explanation of why I hit him. + </p> + <p> + Which it made Looey right low in his sperrits, and he shakes his head and + says no good will come of it. + </p> + <p> + "Did you ever hear of Romeo and Joliet?" he says: + </p> + <p> + "Mebby," I says, "but what it was I hearn I can't remember. What about + them?" + </p> + <p> + "Well," he says, "they carried on the same as you. And now where are + they?" + </p> + <p> + "Well," I says, "where are they?" + </p> + <p> + "In the tomb," says Looey, very sad, like they was closte personal friends + of his'n. And he told me all about them and how Young Cobalt had done fur + them. But from what I could make out it all happened away back in the + early days. And shucks!—I didn't care a dern, anyhow. I told him so. + </p> + <p> + "Well," he says, "It's been the history of the world that it brings + trouble." And he says to look at Damon and Pythias, and Othello and the + Merchant of Venus. And he named about a hundred prominent couples like + that out of Shakespeare's works. + </p> + <p> + "But it ends happy sometimes," I says. + </p> + <p> + "Not when it is true love it don't," says Looey. "Look at Anthony and + Cleopatra." + </p> + <p> + "Yes," I says, sarcastic like, "I suppose they are in the tomb, too?" + </p> + <p> + "They are," says Looey, awful solemn. + </p> + <p> + "Yes," I says, "and so is Adam and Eve and Dan and Burrsheba and all the + rest of them old-timers. But I bet they had a good time while they + lasted." + </p> + <p> + Looey shakes his head solemn and sighs and goes to sleep very mournful, + like he has to give me up fur lost. But I can't sleep none myself. So + purty soon I gets up and puts on my shoes and sneaks through the wood-lot + and through the gap in the fence by the apple tree and into Miss Hampton's + yard. + </p> + <p> + It was a beauty of a moonlight night, that white and clear and clean you + could almost see to read by it, like all of everything had been scoured as + bright as the bottom of a tin pan. And the shadders was soft and thick and + velvety and laid kind of brownish-greeney on the grass. I flopped down in + the shadder of some lilac bushes and wondered which was Martha's window. I + knowed she would be in bed long ago, but—— Well, I was jest + plumb foolish that night, and I couldn't of kept away fur any money. That + moonlight had got into my head, it seemed like, and made me drunk. But I + would rather be looney that-a-way than to have as much sense as King + Solomon and all his adverbs. I was that looney that if I had knowed any + poetry I would of said it out loud, right up toward that window. I never + knowed why poetry was made up before that night. But the only poetry I + could think of was about there was a man named Furgeson that lived on + Market Street, and he had a one-eyed Thomas cat that couldn't well be + beat. Which it didn't seem to fit the case, so I didn't say her. + </p> + <p> + The porch of that house was part covered with vines, but they was kind of + gaped apart at one corner. As I laid there in the shadder of the bushes I + hearn a fluttering movement, light and gentle, on that porch. Then, all of + a sudden, I seen some one standing on the edge of the porch where the + vines was gaped apart, and the moonlight was falling onto them. They must + of come there awful soft and still. Whoever it was couldn't see into the + shadder where I laid, that is, if it was a human and not a ghost. Fur my + first thought was it might be one of them ghosts I had been running down + so that very day, and mebby the same one Miss Hampton seen on that very + same porch. I thought I was in fur it then, mebby, and I felt like some + one had whispered to the back of my neck it ought to be scared. And I WAS + scared clean up into my hair. I stared hard, fur I couldn't take my eyes + away. Then purty soon I seen if it was a ghost it must be a woman ghost. + Fur it was dressed in light-coloured clothes that moved jest a little in + the breeze, and the clothes was so near the colour of the moonlight they + seemed to kind of silver into it. You would of said it had jest floated + there, and was waiting fur to float away agin when the breeze blowed a + little stronger, or the moon drawed it. + </p> + <p> + It didn't move fur ever so long. Then it leaned forward through the gap in + the vines, and I seen the face real plain. It wasn't no ghost, it was a + lady. Then I knowed it must be Miss Hampton standing there. Away off + through the trees our camp fire sent up jest a dull kind of a glow. She + was standing there looking at that. I wondered why. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link2HCH0008" id="link2HCH0008"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + CHAPTER VIII + </h2> + <p> + The next day we broke camp and was gone from that place, and I took away + with me the half of a ring me and Martha had chopped in two. We kept on + going, and by the time punkins and county fairs was getting ripe we was + into the upper left-hand corner of Ohio. And there Looey left us. + </p> + <p> + One day Doctor Kirby and me was walking along the main street of a little + town and we seen a bang-up funeral percession coming. It must of been one + of the Grand Army of the Republicans, fur they was some of the old + soldiers in buggies riding along behind, and a big string of people + follering in more buggies and some on foot. Everybody was looking mighty + sollum. But they was one man setting beside the undertaker on the seat of + the hearse that was looking sollumer than them all. It was Looey, and I'll + bet the corpse himself would of felt proud and happy and contented if he + could of knowed the style Looey was giving that funeral. + </p> + <p> + It wasn't nothing Looey done, fur he didn't do nothing but jest set there + with his arms folded onto his bosom and look sad. But he done THAT better + than any one else. He done it so well that you forgot the corpse was the + chief party to that funeral. Looey took all the glory from him. He had + jest natcherally stole that funeral away from its rightful owner with his + enjoyment of it. He seen the doctor and me as the hearse went by our + corner, but he never let on. A couple of hours later Looey comes into camp + and says he is going to quit. + </p> + <p> + The doctor asts him if he has inherited money. + </p> + <p> + "No," says Looey, "but my aunt has given me a chancet to go into + business." + </p> + <p> + Looey says he was born nigh there, and was prowling around town the day + before and run acrost an old aunt of his'n he had forgot all about. She is + awful respectable and religious and ashamed of him being into a travelling + show. And she has offered to lend him enough to buy a half-share in a + business. + </p> + <p> + "Well," says the doctor, "I hope it will be something you are fitted for + and will enjoy. But I've noticed that after a man gets the habit of + roaming around this terrestial ball it's mighty hard to settle down and + watch his vine and fig tree grow." + </p> + <p> + Looey smiles in a sad sort of a way, which he seldom smiled fur anything, + and says he guesses he'll like the business. He says they ain't many + businesses he could take to. Most of them makes you forget this world is + but a fleeting show. But he has found a business which keeps you reminded + all the time that dust is dust and ash to ashes shalt return. When he + first went into the medicine business, he said, he was drawed to it by the + diseases and the sudden dyings-off it always kept him in mind of. He + thought they wasn't no other business could lay over it fur that kind of + comfort. But he has found out his mistake. + </p> + <p> + "What kind of business are you going into?" asts the doctor. + </p> + <p> + "I am going to be an undertaker," says Looey. "My aunt says this town + needs the right kind of an undertaker bad." + </p> + <p> + Mr. Wilcox, the undertaker that town has, is getting purty old and shaky, + Looey says, and young Mr. Wilcox, his son, is too light-minded and goes at + things too brisk and airy to give it the right kind of a send-off. People + don't want him joking around their corpses and he is a fat young man and + can't help making puns even in the presence of the departed. Old Mr. + Wilcox's eyesight is getting so poor he made a scandal in that town only + the week before. He was composing a departed's face into a last smile, but + he went too fur with it, and give the departed one of them awful mean, + devilish kind of grins, like he had died with a bad temper on. By the time + the departed's fambly had found it out, things had went too fur, and the + face had set that-a-way, so it wasn't safe to try to change it any. + </p> + <p> + Old Mr. Wilcox had several brands of last looks. One was called: "Bear Up, + for We Will Meet Again." The one that had went wrong was his favourite + look, named: "O Death, Where is Thy Victory?" + </p> + <p> + Looey's aunt says she will buy him a partnership if she is satisfied he + can fill the town's needs. They have a talk with the Wilcoxes, and he + rides on the hearse that day fur a try-out. His aunt peeks out behind her + bedroom curtains as the percession goes by her house, and when she sees + the style Looey is giving to that funeral, and how easy it comes to him, + that settles it with her on the spot. And it seems the hull dern town + liked it, too, including the departed's fambly. + </p> + <p> + Looey says they is a lot of chancet fur improvements in the undertaking + game by one whose heart is in his work, and he is going into that business + to make a success of it, and try and get all the funeral trade fur miles + around. He reads us an advertisement of the new firm he has been figgering + out fur that town's weekly paper. I cut a copy out when it was printed, + and it is about the genteelest thing like that I even seen, as follers: + </p> + <p> + WILCOX AND SIMMS Invite Your Patronage + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> +This earth is but a fleeting show, and the blank-winged angels wait for +all. It is always a satisfaction to remember that all possible has been +done for the deceased. + + See Our New Line of Coffins + Lined Caskets a Specialty + Lodge Work Solicited +</pre> + <p> + Time and tide wait for no man, and his days are few and full of troubles. + The paths of glory lead but to the grave, and none can tell when mortal + feet may stumble. + </p> + <p> + When in Town Drop in and Inspect Our New Embalming Outfit. It is a + Pleasure to Show Goods and Tools Even if Your Family Needs no Work Done + Just Yet + </p> + <p> + Outfits for mourners who have been bereaved on short notice a specialty. + We take orders for tombstones. Look at our line of shrouds, robes, and + black suits for either sex and any age. Give us just one call, and you + will entrust future embalmings and obsequies in your family to no other + firm. + </p> + <p> + WILCOX AND SIMMS Main Street, Near Depot + </p> + <p> + The doctor, he reads it over careful and says she orter drum up trade, all + right. Looey tells us that mebby, if he can get that town educated up to + it, he will put in a creamatory, where he will burn them, too, but will go + slow, fur that there sollum and beautiful way of returning ash to ashes + might make some prejudice in such a religious town. + </p> + <p> + The last we seen of Looey was a couple of days later when we told him + good-bye in his shop. Old Mr. Wilcox was explaining to him the science of + them last looks he was so famous at when he was a younger man. Young Mr. + Wilcox was laying on a table fur Looey to practise on, and Looey was + learning fast. But he nearly broke down when he said good-bye, fur he + liked the doctor. + </p> + <p> + "Doc," he says, "you've been a good friend, and I won't never forget you. + They ain't much I can do, and in this deceitful world words is less than + actions. But if you ever was to die within a hundred miles of me, I'd go," + he says, "and no other hands but mine should lay you out. And it wouldn't + cost you a cent, either. Nor you neither, Danny." + </p> + <p> + We thanked him kindly fur the offer, and went. + </p> + <p> + The next town we come to there was a county fair, and the doctor run + acrost an old pal of his'n who had a show on the grounds and wanted to + hire him fur what he called a ballyhoo man. Which was the first I ever + hearn them called that, but I got better acquainted with them since. They + are the fellers that stands out in front and gets you all excited about + the Siamese twins or the bearded lady or the snake-charmer or the + Circassian beauties or whatever it is inside the tent, as represented upon + the canvas. The doctor says he will do it fur a week, jest fur fun, and + mebby pick up another feller to take Looey's place out there. + </p> + <p> + This feller's name is Watty Sanders, and his wife is a fat lady in his own + show and very good-natured when not intoxicated nor mad at Watty. She was + billed on the curtains outside fur five hundred and fifty pounds, and + Watty says she really does weigh nigh on to four hundred. But being a fat + lady's husband ain't no bed of rosy ease at that, Watty tells the doctor. + It's like every other trade—it has its own pertic'ler + responsibilities and troubles. She is a turrible expense to Watty on + account of eating so much. The tales that feller told of how hard he has + to hustle showing her off in order to support her appetite would of drawed + tears from a pawnbroker's sign, as Doctor Kirby says. Which he found it + cheaper fur his hull show to board and sleep in the tent, and we done + likewise. + </p> + <p> + Well, I got a job with that show myself. Watty had a wild man canvas but + no wild man, so he made me an offer and I took him up. I was from Borneo, + where they're all supposed to be captured. Jest as Doctor Kirby would get + to his talk about how the wild man had been ketched after great struggle + and expense, with four men killed and another crippled, there would be an + awful rumpus on the inside of the tent, with wild howlings and the sound + of revolvers shot off and a woman screaming. Then I would come busting out + all blacked up from head to heel with no more clothes on than the law + pervided fur, yipping loud and shaking a big spear and rolling my eyes, + and Watty would come rushing after me firing his revolver. I would make + fur the doctor and draw my spear back to jab it clean through him, and + Watty would grab my arm. And the doctor would whirl round and they would + wrastle me to the ground and I would be handcuffed and dragged back into + the tent, still howling and struggling to break loose. On the inside my + part of the show was to be wild in a cage. I would be chained to the + floor, and every now and then I would get wilder and rattle my chains and + shake the bars and make jumps at the crowd and carry on, and make believe + I was too mad to eat the pieces of raw meat Watty throwed into the cage. + </p> + <p> + Watty had a snake-charmer woman, with an awful long, bony kind of neck, + working fur him, and another feller that was her husband and eat glass. + The show opened up with them two doing what they said was a comic turn. + Then the fat lady come on. Whilst everybody was admiring her size, and + looking at the number of pounds on them big cheat scales Watty weighed her + on, the long-necked one would be changing to her snake clothes. Which she + only had one snake, and he had been in the business so long, and was so + kind of worn out and tired with being charmed so much, it always seemed + like a pity to me the way she would take and twist him around. I guess + they never was a snake was worked harder fur the little bit he got to eat, + nor got no sicker of a woman's society than poor old Reginald did. After + Reginald had been charmed a while, it would be the glass eater's turn. + Which he really eat it, and the doctor says that kind always dies before + they is fifty. I never knowed his right name, but what he went by was The + Human Ostrich. + </p> + <p> + Watty's wife was awful jealous of Mrs. Ostrich, fur she got the idea she + was carrying on with Watty. One night I hearn an argument from the + fenced-off part of the tent Watty and his wife slept in. She was setting + on Watty's chest and he was gasping fur mercy. + </p> + <p> + "You know it ain't true," says Watty, kind of smothered-like. + </p> + <p> + "It is," says she, "you own up it is!" And she give him a jounce. + </p> + <p> + "No, darling," he gets out of him, "you know I never could bear them thin, + scrawny kind of women." And he begins to call her pet names of all kinds + and beg her please, if she won't get off complete, to set somewheres else + a minute, fur his chest he can feel giving way, and his ribs caving in. He + called her his plump little woman three or four times and she must of + softened up some, fur she moved and his voice come stronger, but not less + meek and lowly. And he follers it up: + </p> + <p> + "Dolly, darling," he says, "I bet I know something my little woman don't + know." + </p> + <p> + "What is it?" the fat lady asts him. + </p> + <p> + "You don't know what a cruel, weak stomach your hubby has got," Watty + says, awful coaxing like, "or you wouldn't bear down quite so hard onto it—please, + Dolly!" + </p> + <p> + She begins to blubber and say he is making fun of her big size, and if he + is mean to her any more or ever looks at another woman agin she will take + anti-fat and fade away to nothing and ruin his show, and it is awful hard + to be made a joke of all her life and not have no steady home nor nothing + like other women does. + </p> + <p> + "You know I worship every pound of you, little woman," says Watty, still + coaxing. "Why can't you trust me? You know, Dolly, darling, I wouldn't + take your weight in gold for you." And he tells her they never was but + once in all his life he has so much as turned his head to look at another + woman, and that was by way of a plutonic admiration, and no flirting + intended, he says. And even then it was before he had met his own little + woman. And that other woman, he says, was plump too, fur he wouldn't never + look at none but a plump woman. + </p> + <p> + "What did she weigh?" asts Watty's wife. He tells her a measly little + three hundred pound. + </p> + <p> + "But she wasn't refined like my little woman," says Watty, "and when I + seen that I passed her up." And inch by inch Watty coaxed her clean off of + him. + </p> + <p> + But the next day she hearn him and Mrs. Ostrich giggling about something, + and she has a reg'lar tantrum, and jest fur meanness goes out and falls + down on the race track, pertending she has fainted, and they can't move + her no ways, not even roll her. But finally they rousted her out of that + by one of these here sprinkling carts backing up agin her and turning + loose. + </p> + <p> + But aside from them occasional mean streaks Dolly was real nice, and I + kind of got to liking her. She tells me that because she is so fat no one + won't take her serious like a human being, and she wisht she was like + other women and had a fambly. That woman wanted a baby, too, and I bet she + would of been good to it, fur she was awful good to animals. She had been + big from a little girl, and never got no sympathy when sick, nor nothing, + and even whilst she played with dolls as a kid she knowed she looked + ridiculous, and was laughed at. And by jings!—they was the funniest + thing come to light before we left that crowd. That poor, derned, old, fat + fool HAD a doll yet, all hid away, and when she was alone she used to take + it out and cuddle it. Well, Dolly never had many friends, and you couldn't + blame her much if she did drink a little too much now and then, or get mad + at Watty fur his goings-on and kneel down on him whilst he was asleep. + Them was her only faults and I liked the old girl. Yet I could see Watty + had his troubles too. + </p> + <p> + That show busted up before the fair closed. Fur one day Watty's wife gets + mad at Mrs. Ostrich and tries to set on her. And then Mrs. Ostrich gets + mad too, and sicks Reginald onto her. Watty's wife is awful scared of + Reginald, who don't really have ambition enough to bite no one, let alone + a lady built so round everywhere he couldn't of got a grip on her. And as + fur as wrapping himself around her and squashing her to death, Reginald + never seen the day he could reach that fur. Reginald's feelings is plumb + friendly toward Dolly when he is turned loose, but she don't know that, + and she has some hysterics and faints in earnest this time. Well, they was + an awful hullaballo when she come to, and fur the sake of peace in the + fambly Watty has to fire Mr. and Mrs. Ostrich and poor old Reginald out of + their jobs, and the show is busted. So Doctor Kirby and me lit out fur + other parts agin. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link2HCH0009" id="link2HCH0009"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + CHAPTER IX + </h2> + <p> + We was jogging along one afternoon not fur from a good-sized town at the + top of Ohio, right on the lake, when we run acrost some remainders of a + busted circus riding in a stake and chain wagon. They was two fellers—both + jugglers, acrobats, and tumblers—and a balloon. The circus had + busted without paying them nothing but promises fur months and months, and + they had took the team and wagon and balloon by attachment, they said. + They was carting her from the little burg the show busted in to that + good-sized town on the lake. They would sell the team and wagon there and + get money enough to put an advertisement in the Billboard, which is like a + Bible to them showmen, that they had a balloon to sell and was at liberty. + </p> + <p> + One of them was the slimmest, lightest-footed, quickest feller you ever + seen, with a big nose and dark complected, and his name was Tobias. The + other was heavier and blonde complected. His name was Dobbs, he said, and + they was the Blanchet Brothers. Doctor Kirby and them got real well + acquainted in about three minutes. We drove on ahead and got into the town + first. + </p> + <p> + The doctor says that balloon is jest wasted on them fellers. They can't go + up in her, not knowing that trade, but still they ought to be some way fur + them to make a little stake out of it before it was sold. + </p> + <p> + The next evening we run acrost them fellers on the street, and they was + feeling purty blue. They hadn't been able to sell that team and wagon, + which it was eating its meals reg'lar in a livery stable, and they had + been doing stunts in the street that day and passing around the hat, but + not getting enough fur to pay expenses. + </p> + <p> + "Where's the balloon?" asts the doctor. And I seen he was sicking his + intellects onto the job of making her pay. + </p> + <p> + "In the livery stable with the wagon," they tells him. + </p> + <p> + He says he is going to figger out a way to help them boys. They is like + all circus performers, he says—they jest knows their own acts, and + talks about 'em all the time, and studies up ways to make 'em better, and + has got no more idea of business outside of that than a rabbit. We all + went to the livery stable and overhauled that balloon. It was an awful + job, too. But they wasn't a rip in her, and the parachute was jest as good + as new. + </p> + <p> + "There's no reason why we can't give a show of our own," says Doctor + Kirby, "with you boys and Danny and me and that balloon. What we want is a + lot with a high board fence around it, like a baseball grounds, and the + chance to tap a gas main." He says he'll be willing to take a chancet on + it, even paying the gas company real money to fill her up. + </p> + <p> + What the Doctor didn't know about starting shows wasn't worth knowing. He + had even went in for the real drama in his younger days now and then. + </p> + <p> + "One of my theatrical productions came very near succeeding, too," he + says. + </p> + <p> + It was a play he says, in which the hero falls in love with a pair of + Siamese twins and commits suicide because he can't make a choice between + them. + </p> + <p> + "We played it as comedy in the big towns and tragedy in the little ones," + he says. "But like a fool I booked it for two weeks of middle-sized towns + and it broke us." + </p> + <p> + The next day he finds a lot that will do jest fine. It has been used fur a + school playgrounds, but the school has been moved and the old building is + to be tore down. He hired the place cheap. And he goes and talks the gas + company into giving him credit to fill that balloon. Which I kept + wondering what was the use of filling her, fur none of the four of us had + ever went up in one. And when I seen the handbills he had had printed I + wondered all the more. They read as follers: + </p> + <p> + Kirby's Komedy Kompany and Open Air Circus + </p> + <p> + Presenting a Peerless Personnel of Artistic Attractions + </p> + <p> + Greatest in the Galaxy of Gaiety, is + </p> + <p> + Hartley L. Kirby + </p> + <p> + Monologuist and minstrel, dancer and vaudevillian in his terpsichorean + travesties, buoyant burlesques, inimitable imitations, screaming + impersonations, refined comedy sketches and popular song hits of the day. + </p> + <p> + The Blanchet Brothers + </p> + <p> + Daring, Dazzling, Danger-Loving, Death-Defying Demons + </p> + <p> + Joyous jugglers, acrobatic artists, constrictorial contortionists, + exquisite equilibrists, in their marvellous, mysterious, unparalleled + performances. + </p> + <p> + Umslopogus The Patagonian Chieftain + </p> + <p> + The lowest type of human intellect + </p> + <p> + This formerly ferocious fiend has so far succumbed to the softer wiles of + civilization that he is no longer a cannibal, and it is now safe to put + him on exhibition. But to prevent accidents he is heavily manacled, and + the public is warned not to come too near. + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + + Balloon! Balloon!! Balloon!!! + + The management also presents the balloon of + + Prof. Alonzo Ackerman The Famous Aeronaut + + in which he has made his + + Wonderful Ascension and Parachute Drop + + many times, reaching remarkable altitudes + + Balloon! Balloon!! Balloon!!! + + Saturday, 3 P. M. Old Vandegrift School Lot +</pre> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + Admission 50 Cents +</pre> + <p> + Well, fur a writer he certainly laid over Looey, Doctor Kirby did—more + cheerful-like, you might say. I seen right off I was to be the Patagonian + Chieftain. I was getting more and more of an actor right along—first + an Injun, then a wild Borneo, and now a Patagonian. + </p> + <p> + "But who is this Alonzo Ackerman?" I asts him. + </p> + <p> + "Celebrated balloonist," says he, "and the man that invented parachutes. + They eat out of his hand." + </p> + <p> + "Where is he?" asts I. + </p> + <p> + "How should I know?" he says. + </p> + <p> + "How is he going up, then?" I asts. + </p> + <p> + The doctor chuckles and says it is a good bill, a better bill than he + thought; that it is getting in its work already. He says to me to read it + careful and see if it says Alonzo Ackerman is going up. Well, it don't. + But any one would of thought so the first look. I reckon that bill was + some of a liar herself, not lying outright, but jest hinting a lie. They + is a lot of mean, stingy-souled kind of people wouldn't never lie to help + a friend, but Doctor Kirby wasn't one of 'em. + </p> + <p> + "But," I says, "when that crowd finds out Alonzo ain't going up they will + be purty mad." + </p> + <p> + "Oh," says he, "I don't think so. The American public are a good-natured + set of chuckle-heads, mostly. If they get sore I'll talk 'em out of it." + </p> + <p> + If he had any faults at all—and mind you, I ain't saying Doctor + Kirby had any—the one he had hardest was the belief he could talk + any crowd into any notion, or out of it, either. And he loved to do it + jest fur the fun of it. He'd rather have the feeling he was doing that + than the money any day. He was powerful vain about that gab of his'n, + Doctor Kirby was. + </p> + <p> + The four of us took around about five thousand bills. The doctor says they + is nothing like giving yourself a chancet. And Saturday morning we got the + balloon filled up so she showed handsome, tugging away there at her ropes. + But we had a dern mean time with that balloon, too. + </p> + <p> + The doctor says if we have good luck there may be as many as three, four + hundred people. + </p> + <p> + But Jerusalem! They was two, three times that many. By the time the show + started I reckon they was nigh a thousand there. The doctor and the + Blanchet Brothers was tickled. When they quit coming fast the doctor left + the gate and made a little speech, telling all about the wonderful show, + and the great expense it was to get it together, and all that. + </p> + <p> + They was a rope stretched between the crowd and us. Back of that was the + Blanchet Brothers' wagon and our wagon, and our little tent. I was jest + inside the tent with chains on. Back of everything else was the balloon. + </p> + <p> + Well, the doctor he done a lot of songs and things as advertised. Then the + Blanchet Brothers done some of their acts. They was really fine acts, too. + Then come some more of Doctor Kirby's refined comedy, as advertised. Next, + more Blanchet. Then a lecture about me by the doctor. All in all it takes + up about an hour and a half. Then the doctor makes a mighty nice little + talk, and wishes them all good afternoon, thanking them fur their kind + intentions and liberal patronage, one and all. + </p> + <p> + "But when will the balloon go up?" asts half a dozen at oncet. + </p> + <p> + "The balloon?" asts Doctor Kirby, surprised. + </p> + <p> + "Balloon! Balloon!" yells a kid. And the hull crowd took it up and yelled: + "Balloon! Balloon! Balloon!" And they crowded up closte to that rope. + </p> + <p> + Doctor Kirby has been getting off the wagon, but he gets back on her, and + stretches his arms wide, and motions of 'em all to come close. + </p> + <p> + "Ladies and gentlemen," he says, "please to gather near—up here, + good people—and listen! Listen to what I have to say—harken to + the utterings of my voice! There has been a misunderstanding here! There + has been a misconstruction! There has been, ladies and gentlemen, a woeful + lack of comprehension here!" + </p> + <p> + It looked to me like they was beginning to understand more than he meant + them to. I was wondering how it would all come out, but he never lost his + nerve. + </p> + <p> + "Listen," he says, very earnest, "listen to me. Somehow the idea seems to + have gone forth that there would be a balloon ascension here this + afternoon. How, I do not know, for what we advertised, ladies and + gentlemen, was that the balloon used by Prof. Alonzo Ackerman, the + illustrious aeronaut, would be UPON EXHIBITION. And there she is, ladies + and gentlemen, there she is, for every eye to see and gladden with the + sight of—right before you, ladies and gentlemen—the balloon of + Alonzo Ackerman, the wonderful voyager of the air, exactly as represented. + During their long career Kirby and Company have never deceived the public. + Others may, but Kirby and Company are like Caesar's wife—Kirby and + Company are above suspicion. It is the province of Kirby's Komedy Kompany, + ladies and gentlemen, to spread the glad tidings of innocent amusement + throughout the length and breadth of this fair land of ours. And there she + is before you, the balloon as advertised, the gallant ship of the air in + which the illustrious Ackerman made so many voyages before he sailed at + last into the Great Beyond! You can see her, ladies and gentlemen, + straining at her cords, anxious to mount into the heavens and be gone! It + is an education in itself, ladies and gentlemen, a moral education, and + well worth coming miles to see. Think of it—think of it—the + Ackerman balloon—and then think that the illustrious Ackerman + himself—he was my personal friend, ladies and gentlemen, and a true + friend sticketh closer than a brother—the illustrious Ackerman is + dead. The balloon, ladies and gentlemen, is there, but Ackerman is gone to + his reward. Look at that balloon, ladies and gentlemen, and tell me if you + can, why should the spirit of mortals be proud? For the man that rode her + like a master and tamed her like she was a dove lies cold and dead in a + western graveyard, ladies and gentlemen, and she is here, a useless and an + idle vanity without the mind that made her go!" + </p> + <p> + Well, he went on and he told a funny story about Alonzo, which I don't + believe they ever was no Alonzo Ackerman, and a lot of 'em laughed; and he + told a pitiful story, and they got sollum agin, and then another funny + story. Well, he had 'em listening, and purty soon most of the crowd is + feeling in a good humour toward him, and one feller yells out: + </p> + <p> + "Go it—you're a hull show yourself!" And some joshes him, but they + don't seem to be no trouble in the air. When they all look to be in a good + humour he holds up a bill and asts how many has them. Many has. He says + that is well, and then he starts to telling another story. But in the + middle of the story that hull dern crowd is took with a fit of laughing. + They has looked at the bill closet, and seen they is sold, and is taking + it good-natured. And still shouting and laughing most of them begins to + start along off. And I thought all chancet of trouble was over with. But + it wasn't. + </p> + <p> + Fur they is always a natcheral born kicker everywhere, and they was one + here, too. + </p> + <p> + He was a lean feller with a sticking out jaw, and one of his eyes was in a + kind of a black pocket, and he was jest natcherally laying it off to about + a dozen fellers that was in a little knot around him. + </p> + <p> + The doctor sees the main part of the crowd going and climbs down off'n the + wagon. As he does so that hull bunch of about a dozen moves in under the + rope, and some more that was going out seen it, and stopped and come back. + </p> + <p> + "Perfessor," says the man with the patch over his eye to Doctor Kirby, + "you say this man Ackerman is dead?" + </p> + <p> + "Yes," says the doctor, eying him over, "he's dead." + </p> + <p> + "How did he die?" asts the feller. + </p> + <p> + "He died hard, I understand," says the doctor, careless-like. + </p> + <p> + "Fell out of his balloon?" + </p> + <p> + "Yes." + </p> + <p> + "This aeronaut trade is a dangerous trade, I hear," says the feller with + the patch on his eye. + </p> + <p> + "They say so," says Doctor Kirby, easy-like. + </p> + <p> + "Was you ever an aeronaut yourself?" asts the feller. + </p> + <p> + "No," says the doctor. + </p> + <p> + "Never been up in a balloon?" + </p> + <p> + "No." + </p> + <p> + "Well, you're going up in one this afternoon!" + </p> + <p> + "What do you mean?" asts Doctor Kirby. + </p> + <p> + "We've come out to see a balloon ascension—and we're going to see + it, too." + </p> + <p> + And with that the hull crowd made a rush at the doctor. + </p> + <p> + Well, I been in fights before that, and I been in fights since then. But I + never been in no harder one. The doctor and the two Blanchet brothers and + me managed to get backed up agin the fence in a row when the rush come. I + guess I done my share, and I guess the Blanchet brothers done theirn, too. + But they was too many of 'em for us—too dern many. It wouldn't of + ended as quick as it did if Doctor Kirby hadn't gone clean crazy. His back + was to the fence, and he cleaned out everything in front of him, and then + he give a wild roar jest like a bull and rushed that hull gang—twenty + men, they was—with his head down. He caught two fellers, one in each + hand, and he cracked their heads together, and he caught two more, and + done the same. But he orter never took his back away from that fence. The + hull gang closed in on him, and down he went at the bottom of a pile. I + was awful busy myself, but I seen that pile moving and churning. Then I + made a big mistake myself. I kicked a feller in the stomach, and another + feller caught my leg, and down I went. Fur a half a minute I never knowed + nothing. And when I come to I was all mashed about the face, and two + fellers was sitting on me. + </p> + <p> + The crowd was tying Doctor Kirby to that parachute. They straddled legs + over the parachute bar, and tied his feet below it. He was still fighting, + but they was too many fur him. They left his arms untied, but they held + 'em, and then— + </p> + <p> + Then they cut her loose. She went up like she was shot from a gun, and as + she did Doctor Kirby took a grip on a feller's arm that hadn't let loose + quick enough and lifted him plumb off'n the ground. He slewed around on + the trapeze bar with the feller's weight, and slipped head downward. And + as he slipped he give that feller a swing and let loose of him, and then + ketched himself by the crook of one knee. The feller turned over twicet in + the air and landed in a little crumpled-up pile on the ground, and never + made a sound. + </p> + <p> + The fellers that had holt of me forgot me and stood up, and I stood up + too, and looked. The balloon was rising fast. Doctor Kirby was trying to + pull himself up to the trapeze bar, twisting and squirming and having a + hard time of it, and shooting higher every second. I reckoned he couldn't + fall complete, fur where his feet was tied would likely hold even if his + knee come straight—but he would die mebby with his head filling up + with blood. But finally he made a squirm and raised himself a lot and + grabbed the rope at one side of the bar. And then he reached and got the + rope on the other side, and set straddle of her. And jest as he done that + the wind ketched the balloon good and hard, and she turned out toward Lake + Erie. It was too late fur him to pull the rope that sets the parachute + loose then, and drop onto the land. + </p> + <p> + I rushed out of that schoolhouse yard and down the street toward the lake + front, and run, stumbling along and looking up. She was getting smaller + every minute. And with my head in the air looking up I was running plumb + to the edge of the water before I knowed it. + </p> + <p> + She was away out over the lake now, and awful high, and going fast before + the wind, and the doctor was only a speck. And as I stared at that speck + away up in the sky I thought this was a mean world to live in. Fur there + was the only real friend I ever had, and no way fur me to help him. He had + learnt me to read, and bought me good clothes, and made me know they was + things in the world worth travelling around to see, and made me feel like + I was something more than jest Old Hank Walters's dog. And I guessed he + would be drownded and I would never see him agin now. And all of a sudden + something busted loose inside of me, and I sunk down there at the edge of + the water, sick at my stomach, and weak and shivering. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link2HCH0010" id="link2HCH0010"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + CHAPTER X + </h2> + <p> + I didn't exactly faint there, but things got all mixed fur me, and when + they was straightened out agin I was in a hospital. It seems I had been + considerable stepped on in that fight, and three ribs was broke. I knowed + I was hurting, but I was so interested in what was happening to the doctor + the hull hurt never come to me till the balloon was way out over the lake. + </p> + <p> + But now I was in a plaster cast, and before I got out of that I was in a + fever. I was some weeks getting out of there. + </p> + <p> + I tried to get some word of Doctor Kirby, but couldn't. Nothing had been + heard of him or the balloon. The newspapers had had stuff about it fur a + day or two, and they guessed the body might come to light sometime. But + that was all. And I didn't know where to hunt nor how. + </p> + <p> + The hosses and wagon and tent and things worried me some, too. They wasn't + mine, and so I couldn't sell 'em. And they wasn't no good to me without + Doctor Kirby. So I tells the man that owns the livery stable to use the + team fur its board and keep it till Doctor Kirby calls fur it, and if he + never does mebby I will sometime. + </p> + <p> + I didn't want to stay in that town or I could of got a job in the livery + stable. They offered me one, but I hated that town. I wanted to light out. + I didn't much care where to. + </p> + <p> + Them Blanchet Brothers had left a good share of the money we took in at + the balloon ascension with the hospital people fur me before they cleared + out. But before I left that there town I seen they was one thing I had to + do to make myself easy in my mind. So I done her. + </p> + <p> + That was to hunt up that feller with his eye in the patch. It took me a + week to find him. He lived down near some railroad yards. I might of + soaked him with a coupling link and felt a hull lot better. But I didn't + guess it would do to pet and pamper my feelings too much. So I does it + with my fists in a quiet place, and does it very complete, and leaves that + town in a cattle car, feeling a hull lot more contented in my mind. + </p> + <p> + Then they was a hull dern year I didn't stay nowhere very long, nor work + at any one job too long, neither. I jest worked from place to place seeing + things—big towns and rivers and mountains. Working here and there, + and loafing and riding blind baggages and freight trains between jobs, I + covered a lot of ground that year, and made some purty big jumps, and got + acquainted with some awful queer folks, first and last. + </p> + <p> + But the worst of that is lots of people gets to thinking I am a hobo. Even + one or two judges in police courts I got acquainted with had that there + idea of me. I always explains that I am not one, and am jest travelling + around to see things, and working when I feels like it, and ain't no bum. + But frequent I am not believed. And two, three different times I gets to + the place where I couldn't hardly of told myself from a hobo, if I hadn't + of knowed I wasn't one. + </p> + <p> + I got right well acquainted with some of them hobos, too. As fur as I can + see, they is as much difference in them as in other humans. Some travels + because they likes to see things, and some because they hates to work, and + some because they is in the habit and can't stop it. Well, I know myself + it's purty hard after while to stop it, fur where would you stop at? What + excuse is they to stop one place more'n another? I met all kinds of 'em, + and oncet I got in fur a week with a couple of real Johnny Yeggs that is + both in the pen now. I hearn a feller say one time there is some good in + every man. I went the same way as them two yeggmen a hull dern week to try + and find out where the good in 'em was. I guess they must be some mistake + somewheres, fur I looked hard and I watched closet and I never found it. + They is many kinds of hobos and tramps, perfessional and amachure, and + lots of kinds of bums, and lots of young fellers working their way around + to see things, like I was, and lots of working men in hard luck going from + place to place, and all them kinds is humans. But the real yeggman ain't + even a dog. + </p> + <p> + And oncet I went all the way from Chicago to Baltimore with a serious, + dern fool that said he was a soshyologest, whatever them is, and was going + to put her all into a book about the criminal classes. He worked hard + trying to get at the reason I was a hobo. Which they wasn't no reason, fur + I wasn't no hobo. But I didn't want to disappoint that feller and spoil + his book fur him. So I tells him things. Things not overly truthful, but + very full of crime. About a year afterward I was into one of these here + Andrew Carnegie lib'aries with the names of the old-time presidents all + chiselled along the top and I seen the hull dern thing in print. He said + of me the same thing I have said about them yeggmen. If all he met joshed + that feller the same as me, that book must of been what you might call + misleading in spots. + </p> + <p> + One morning I woke up in a good-sized town in Illinoise, not a hundred + miles from where I was raised, without no money, and my clothes not much + to look at, and no job. I had been with a railroad show fur about two + weeks, driving stakes and other rough work, and it had went off and left + me sleeping on the ground. Circuses never waits fur nothing nor cares a + dern fur no one. I tried all day around town fur to get some kind of a + job. But I was looking purty rough and I couldn't land nothing. Along in + the afternoon I was awful hungry. + </p> + <p> + I was feeling purty low down to have to ast fur a meal, but finally I done + it. + </p> + <p> + I dunno how I ever come to pick out such a swell-looking house, but I + makes a little talk at the back door and the Irish girl she says, "Come + in," and into the kitchen I goes. + </p> + <p> + "It's Minnesota you're working toward?" asts she, pouring me out a cup of + coffee. + </p> + <p> + She is thinking of the wheat harvest where they is thousands makes fur + every fall. But none of 'em fur me. That there country is full of them + Scandiluvian Swedes and Norwegians, and they gets into the field before + daylight and stays there so long the hired man's got to milk the cows by + moonlight. + </p> + <p> + "I been acrost the river into I'way," I says, "a-working at my trade, and + now I'm going back to Chicago to work at it some more." + </p> + <p> + "What might your trade be?" she asts, sizing me up careful; and I thinks + I'll hand her one to chew on she ain't never hearn tell of before. + </p> + <p> + "I'm a agnostic by trade," I says. I spotted that there word in a + religious book one time, and that's the first chancet I ever has to try it + on any one. You can't never tell what them reg'lar sockdologers is going + to do till you tries them. + </p> + <p> + "I see," says she. But I seen she didn't see. And I didn't help her none. + She would of ruther died than to let on she didn't see. The Irish is like + that. Purty soon she says: + </p> + <p> + "Ain't that the dangerous kind o' work, though!" + </p> + <p> + "It is," I says. And says nothing further. + </p> + <p> + She sets down and folds her arms, like she was thinking of it, watching my + hands closet all the time I was eating, like she's looking fur scars where + something slipped when I done that agnostic work. Purty soon she says: + </p> + <p> + "Me brother Michael was kilt at it in the old country. He was the most + vinturesome lad of thim all!" + </p> + <p> + "Did it fly up and hit him?" I asts her. I was wondering w'ether she is + making fun of me or am I making fun of her. Them Irish is like that, you + can never tell which. + </p> + <p> + "No," says she, "he fell off of it. And I'm thinking you don't know what + it is yourself." And the next thing I know I'm eased out o' the back door + and she's grinning at me scornful through the crack of it. + </p> + <p> + So I was walking slow around toward the front of the house thinking how + the Irish was a great nation, and what shall I do now, anyhow? And I says + to myself: "Danny, you was a fool to let that circus walk off and leave + you asleep in this here town with nothing over you but a barbed wire fence + this morning. Fur what ARE you going to do next? First thing you know, you + WILL be a reg'lar tramp, which some folks can't be made to see you ain't + now." And jest when I was thinking that, a feller comes down the front + steps of that house on the jump and nabs me by the coat collar. + </p> + <p> + "Did you come out of this house?" he asts. + </p> + <p> + "I did," I says, wondering what next. + </p> + <p> + "Back in you go, then," he says, marching me forward toward them front + steps, "they've got smallpox in there." + </p> + <p> + I like to of jumped loose when he says that. + </p> + <p> + "Smallpox ain't no inducement to me, mister," I tells him. But he twisted + my coat collar tight and dug his thumbs into my neck, all the time helping + me onward with his knee from behind, and I seen they wasn't no use pulling + back. I could probable of licked that man, but they's no system in mixing + up with them well-dressed men in towns where they think you are a tramp. + The judge will give you the worst of it. + </p> + <p> + He rung the door bell and the girl that opened the door she looked kind o' + surprised when she seen me, and in we went. + </p> + <p> + "Tell Professor Booth that Doctor Wilkins wants to see him again," says + the man a-holt o' me, not letting loose none. And we says nothing further + till the perfessor comes, which he does, slow and absent-minded. When he + seen me he took off his glasses so's he could see me better, and he says: + </p> + <p> + "What is that you have there, Doctor Wilkins?" + </p> + <p> + "A guest for you," says Doctor Wilkins, grinning all over hisself. "I + found him leaving your house. And you being under quarantine, and me being + secretary to the board of health, and the city pest-house being crowded + too full already, I'll have to ask you to keep him here till we get Miss + Margery onto her feet again," he says. Or they was words to that effect, + as the lawyers asts you. + </p> + <p> + "Dear me," says Perfesser Booth, kind o' helpless like. And he comes over + closet to me and looks me all over like I was one of them amphimissourian + lizards in a free museum. And then he goes to the foot of the stairs and + sings out in a voice that was so bleached-out and flat-chested it would of + looked jest like him himself if you could of saw it—"Estelle," he + sings out, "oh, Estelle!" + </p> + <p> + Estelle, she come down stairs looking like she was the perfessor's big + brother. I found out later she was his old maid sister. She wasn't no + spring chicken, Estelle wasn't, and they was a continuous grin on her + face. I figgered it must of froze there years and years ago. They was a + kid about ten or eleven years old come along down with her, that had hair + down to its shoulders and didn't look like it knowed whether it was a girl + or a boy. Miss Estelle, she looks me over in a way that makes me shiver, + while the doctor and the perfessor jaws about whose fault it is the + smallpox sign ain't been hung out. And when she was done listening she + says to the perfessor: "You had better go back to your laboratory." And + the perfessor he went along out, and the doctor with him. + </p> + <p> + "What are you going to do with him, Aunt Estelle?" the kid asts her. + </p> + <p> + "What would YOU suggest, William, Dear?" asts his aunt. I ain't feeling + very comfortable, and I was getting all ready jest to natcherally bolt out + the front door now the doctor was gone. Then I thinks it mightn't be no + bad place to stay in fur a couple o' days, even risking the smallpox. Fur + I had riccolected I couldn't ketch it nohow, having been vaccinated a few + months before in Terry Hutt by compulsive medical advice, me being fur a + while doing some work on the city pavements through a mistake about me in + the police court. + </p> + <p> + William Dear looks at me like it was the day of judgment and his job was + to keep the fatted calves separate from the goats and prodigals, and he + says: + </p> + <p> + "If I were you, Aunt Estelle, the first thing would be to get his hair cut + and his face washed and then get him some clothes." + </p> + <p> + "William Dear is my friend," thinks I. + </p> + <p> + She calls James, which was a butler. James, he buttles me into a bathroom + the like o' which I never seen afore, and then he buttles me into a suit + o' somebody's clothes and into a room at the top o' the house next to + his'n, and then he comes back and buttles a comb and brush at me. James + was the most mournful-looking fat man I ever seen, and he says that + account of me not being respectable I will have my meals alone in the + kitchen after the servants has eat. + </p> + <p> + The first thing I knowed I been in that house more'n a week. I eat and I + slept and I smoked and I kind of enjoyed not worrying about things fur a + while. The only oncomfortable thing about being the perfessor's guest was + Miss Estelle. Soon's she found out I was a agnostic she took charge o' my + intellectuals and what went into 'em, and she makes me read things and + asts me about 'em, and she says she is going fur to reform me. And + whatever brand o' disgrace them there agnostics really is I ain't found + out to this day, having come acrost the word accidental. + </p> + <p> + Biddy Malone, which was the kitchen mechanic, she says the perfessor's + wife's been over to her mother's while this smallpox has been going on, + and they is a nurse in the house looking after Miss Margery, the little + kid that's sick. And Biddy, she says if she was Mrs. Booth she'd stay + there, too. They's been some talk, anyhow, about Mrs. Booth and a musician + feller around that there town. But Biddy, she likes Mrs. Booth, and even + if it was true, which it ain't Biddy says, who could of blamed her? Fur + things ain't joyous around that house the last year, since Miss Estelle's + come there to live. The perfessor, he's so full of scientifics he don't + know nothing with no sense to it, Biddy says. He's got more money'n you + can shake a stick at, and he don't have to do no work, nor never has, and + his scientifics gets worse and worse every year. But while scientifics is + worrying to the nerves of a fambly, and while his labertory often makes + the house smell like a sick drug store has crawled into it and died there, + they wouldn't of been no serious row on between the perfessor and his + wife, not ALL the time, if it hadn't of been fur Miss Estelle. She has + jest natcherally made herself boss of that there house, Biddy says, and + she's a she-devil. Between all them scientifics and Miss Estelle things + has got where Mrs. Booth can't stand 'em much longer. + </p> + <p> + I didn't blame her none fur getting sore on her job, neither. You can't + expect a woman that's purty, and knows it, and ain't no more'n thirty-two + or three, and don't look it, to be serious intrusted in mummies and + pickled snakes and chemical perfusions, not ALL the time. Mebby when Mrs. + Booth would ast him if he was going to take her to the opery that night + the perfessor would look up in an absent-minded sort of way and ast her + did she know them Germans had invented a new germ? It wouldn't of been so + bad if the perfessor had picked out jest one brand of scientifics and + stuck to that reg'lar. Mrs. Booth could of got use to any ONE kind. But + mebby this week the perfessor would be took hard with ornithography and + he'd go chasing humming-birds all over the front yard, and the next he'd + be putting gastronomy into William's breakfast feed. + </p> + <p> + They was always a row on over them kids, which they hadn't been till Miss + Estelle come. Mrs. Booth, she said they could kill their own selves, if + they wanted to, him and Miss Estelle, but she had more right than any one + else to say what went into William's and Margery's digestive ornaments, + and she didn't want 'em brung up scientific nohow, but jest human. But + Miss Estelle's got so she runs that hull house now, and the perfessor too, + but he don't know it, Biddy says, and her a-saying every now and then it + was too bad Frederick couldn't of married a noble woman who would of took + a serious intrust in his work. The kids don't hardly dare to kiss their ma + in front of Miss Estelle no more, on account of germs and things. And with + Miss Estelle taking care of their religious organs and their intellectuals + and the things like that, and the perfessor filling them up on new + invented feeds, I guess they never was two kids got more education to the + square inch, outside and in. It hadn't worked none on Miss Margery yet, + her being younger, but William Dear he took it hard and serious, and it + made bumps all over his head, and he was kind o' pale and spindly. Every + time that kid cut his finger he jest natcherally bled scientifics. One day + I says to Miss Estelle, says I: + </p> + <p> + "It looks to me like William Dear is kind of peaked." She looks worried + and she looks mad fur me lipping in, and then she says mebby it is true, + but she don't see why, because he is being brung up like he orter be in + every way and no expense nor trouble spared. + </p> + <p> + "Well," says I, "what a kid about that size wants to do is to get out and + roll around in the dirt some, and yell and holler." + </p> + <p> + She sniffs like I wasn't worth taking no notice of. But it kind o' soaked + in, too. She and the perfessor must of talked it over. Fur the next day I + seen her spreading a oilcloth on the hall floor. And then James comes a + buttling in with a lot of sand what the perfessor has baked and made all + scientific down in his labertory. James, he pours all that nice, clean + dirt onto the oilcloth and then Miss Estelle sends fur William Dear. + </p> + <p> + "William Dear," she says, "we have decided, your papa and I, that what you + need is more romping around and playing along with your studies. You ought + to get closer to the soil and to nature, as is more healthy for a youth of + your age. So for an hour each day, between your studies, you will romp and + play in this sand. You may begin to frolic now, William Dear, and then + James will sweep up the dirt again for to-morrow's frolic." + </p> + <p> + But William didn't frolic none. He jest looked at that dirt in a sad kind + o' way, and he says very serious but very decided: + </p> + <p> + "Aunt Estelle, I shall NOT frolic." And they had to let it go at that, fur + he never would frolic none, neither. And all that nice clean dirt was + throwed out in the back yard along with the unscientific dirt. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link2HCH0011" id="link2HCH0011"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + CHAPTER XI + </h2> + <p> + One night when I've been there more'n a week, and am getting kind o' tired + staying in one place so long, I don't want to go to bed after I eats, and + I gets a-holt of some of the perfessor's cigars and goes into the lib'ary + to see if he's got anything fit to read. Setting there thinking of the + awful remarkable people they is in this world I must of went to sleep. + Purty soon, in my sleep, I hearn two voices. Then I waked up sudden, and + still hearn 'em, low and quicklike, in the room that opens right off of + the lib'ary with a couple of them sliding doors like is onto a box car. + One voice was a woman's voice, and it wasn't Miss Estelle's. + </p> + <p> + "But I MUST see them before we go, Henry," she says. + </p> + <p> + And the other was a man's voice and it wasn't no one around our house. + </p> + <p> + "But, my God," he says, "suppose you get it yourself, Jane!" + </p> + <p> + I set up straight then, fur Jane was the perfessor's wife's first name. + </p> + <p> + "You mean suppose YOU get it," she says. I like to of seen the look she + must of give him to fit in with the way she says that YOU. He didn't say + nothing, the man didn't; and then her voice softens down some, and she + says, low and slow: "Henry, wouldn't you love me if I DID get it? Suppose + it marked and pitted me all up?" + </p> + <p> + "Oh, of course," he says, "of course I would. Nothing can change the way I + feel. YOU know that." He said it quick enough, all right, jest the way + they does in a show, but it sounded TOO MUCH like it does on the stage to + of suited me if <i>I</i>'D been her. I seen folks overdo them little talks + before this. + </p> + <p> + I listens some more, and then I sees how it is. This is that musician + feller Biddy Malone's been talking about. Jane's going to run off with him + all right, but she's got to kiss the kids first. Women is like that. They + may hate the kids' pa all right, but they's dad-burned few of 'em don't + like the kids. I thinks to myself: "It must be late. I bet they was + already started, or ready to start, and she made him bring her here first + so's she could sneak in and see the kids. She jest simply couldn't get by. + But she's taking a fool risk, too. Fur how's she going to see Margery with + that nurse coming and going and hanging around all night? And even if she + tries jest to see William Dear it's a ten to one shot he'll wake up and + she'll be ketched at it." + </p> + <p> + And then I thinks, suppose she IS ketched at it? What of it? Ain't a woman + got a right to come into her own house with her own door key, even if they + is a quarantine onto it, and see her kids? And if she is ketched seeing + them, how would any one know she was going to run off? And ain't she got a + right to have a friend of hern and her husband's bring her over from her + mother's house, even if it is a little late? + </p> + <p> + Then I seen she wasn't taking no great risks neither, and I thinks mebby I + better go and tell that perfessor what is going on, fur he has treated me + purty white. And then I thinks: "I'll be gosh-derned if I meddle. So fur + as I can see that there perfessor ain't getting fur from what's coming to + him, nohow. And as fur HER, you got to let some people find out what they + want fur theirselves. Anyhow, where do <i>I</i> come in at?" + </p> + <p> + But I want to get a look at her and Henry, anyhow. So I eases off my + shoes, careful-like, and I eases acrost the floor to them sliding doors, + and I puts my eye down to the little crack. The talk is going backward and + forward between them two, him wanting her to come away quick, and her + undecided whether to risk seeing the kids. And all the time she's kind o' + hoping mebby she will be ketched if she tries to see the kids, and she's + begging off fur more time ginerally. + </p> + <p> + Well, sir, I didn't blame that musician feller none when I seen her. She + was a peach. + </p> + <p> + And I couldn't blame her so much, neither, when I thought of Miss Estelle + and all them scientifics of the perfessor's strung out fur years and years + world without end. + </p> + <p> + Yet, when I seen the man, I sort o' wished she wouldn't. I seen right off + that Henry wouldn't do. It takes a man with a lot of gumption to keep a + woman feeling good and not sorry fur doing it when he's married to her. + But it takes a man with twicet as much to make her feel right when they + ain't married. This feller wears one of them little, brown, pointed beards + fur to hide where his chin ain't. And his eyes is too much like a woman's. + Which is the kind that gets the biggest piece of pie at the lunch counter + and fergits to thank the girl as cuts it big. She was setting in front of + a table, twisting her fingers together, and he was walking up and down. I + seen he was mad and trying not to show it, and I seen he was scared of the + smallpox and trying not to show that, too. And jest about that time + something happened that kind o' jolted me. + </p> + <p> + They was one of them big chairs in the room where they was that has got a + high back and spins around on itself. It was right acrost from me, on the + other side of the room, and it was facing the front window, which was a + bow window. And that there chair begins to turn, slow and easy. First I + thought she wasn't turning. Then I seen she was. But Jane and Henry + didn't. They was all took up with each other in the middle of the room, + with their backs to it. + </p> + <p> + Henry is a-begging of Jane, and she turns a little more, that chair does. + Will she squeak, I wonders? + </p> + <p> + "Don't you be a fool, Jane," says the Henry feller. + </p> + <p> + Around she comes three hull inches, that there chair, and nary a squeak. + </p> + <p> + "A fool?" asts Jane, and laughs. "And I'm not a fool to think of going + with you at all, then?" + </p> + <p> + That chair, she moved six inches more and I seen the calf of a leg and + part of a crumpled-up coat tail. + </p> + <p> + "But I AM going with you, Henry," says Jane. And she gets up jest like she + is going to put her arms around him. + </p> + <p> + But Jane don't. Fur that chair swings clear around and there sets the + perfessor. He's all hunched up and caved in and he's rubbing his eyes like + he's jest woke up recent, and he's got a grin onto his face that makes him + look like his sister Estelle looks all the time. + </p> + <p> + "Excuse me," says the perfessor. + </p> + <p> + They both swings around and faces him. I can hear my heart bumping. Jane + never says a word. The man with the brown beard never says a word. But if + they felt like me they both felt like laying right down there and having a + fit. They looks at him and he jest sets there and grins at them. + </p> + <p> + But after a while Jane, she says: + </p> + <p> + "Well, now you KNOW! What are you going to do about it?" + </p> + <p> + Henry, he starts to say something too. But— + </p> + <p> + "Don't start anything," says the perfessor to him. "YOU aren't going to do + anything." Or they was words to that effect. + </p> + <p> + "Professor Booth," he says, seeing he has got to say something or else + Jane will think the worse of him, "I am—" + </p> + <p> + "Keep still," says the perfessor, real quiet. "I'll tend to you in a + minute or two. YOU don't count for much. This thing is mostly between me + and my wife." + </p> + <p> + When he talks so decided I thinks mebby that perfessor has got something + into him besides science after all. Jane, she looks kind o' surprised + herself. But she says nothing, except: + </p> + <p> + "What are you going to do, Frederick?" And she laughs one of them mean + kind of laughs, and looks at Henry like she wanted him to spunk up a + little more, and says: "What CAN you do, Frederick?" + </p> + <p> + Frederick, he says, not excited a bit: + </p> + <p> + "There's quite a number of things I COULD do that would look bad when they + got into the newspapers. But it's none of them, unless one of you forces + me to it." Then he says: + </p> + <p> + "You DID want to see the children, Jane?" + </p> + <p> + She nodded. + </p> + <p> + "Jane," he says, "can't you see I'm the better man?" + </p> + <p> + The perfessor, he was woke up after all them years of scientifics, and he + didn't want to see her go. "Look at him," he says, pointing to the feller + with the brown beard, "he's scared stiff right now." + </p> + <p> + Which I would of been scared myself if I'd a-been ketched that-a-way like + Henry was, and the perfessor's voice sounding like you was chopping ice + every time he spoke. I seen the perfessor didn't want to have no blood on + the carpet without he had to have it, but I seen he was making up his mind + about something, too. Jane, she says: + </p> + <p> + "YOU a better man? YOU? You think you've been a model husband just because + you've never beaten me, don't you?" + </p> + <p> + "No," says the perfessor, "I've been a blamed fool all right. I've been a + worse fool, maybe, than if I HAD beaten you." Then he turns to Henry and + he says: + </p> + <p> + "Duels are out of fashion, aren't they? And a plain killing looks bad in + the papers, doesn't it? Well, you just wait for me." With which he gets up + and trots out, and I hearn him running down stairs to his labertory. + </p> + <p> + Henry, he'd ruther go now. He don't want to wait. But with Jane a-looking + at him he's shamed not to wait. It's his place to make some kind of a + strong action now to show Jane he is a great man. But he don't do it. And + Jane is too much of a thoroughbred to show him she expects it. And me, I'm + getting the fidgets and wondering to myself, "What is that there perfessor + up to now? Whatever it is, it ain't like no one else. He is looney, that + perfessor is. And she is kind o' looney, too. I wonder if they is any one + that ain't looney sometimes?" I been around the country a good 'eal, too, + and seen and hearn of some awful remarkable things, and I never seen no + one that wasn't more or less looney when the SEARCH US THE FEMM comes into + the case. Which is a Dago word I got out'n a newspaper and it means: "Who + was the dead gent's lady friend?" And we all set and sweat and got the + fidgets waiting fur that perfessor to come back. + </p> + <p> + Which he done with that Sister Estelle grin onto his face and a pill box + in his hand. They was two pills in the box. He says, placid and chilly: + </p> + <p> + "Yes, sir, duels are out of fashion. This is the age of science. All the + same, the one that gets her has got to fight for her. If she isn't worth + fighting for, she isn't worth having. Here are two pills. I made 'em + myself. One has enough poison in it to kill a regiment when it gets to + working well—which it does fifteen minutes after it is taken. The + other one has got nothing harmful in it. If you get the poison one, I keep + her. If I get it, you can have her. Only I hope you will wait long enough + after I'm dead so there won't be any scandal around town." + </p> + <p> + Henry, he never said a word. He opened his mouth, but nothing come of it. + When he done that I thought I hearn his tongue scrape agin his cheek on + the inside like a piece of sand-paper. He was scared, Henry was. + </p> + <p> + "But YOU know which is which," Jane sings out. "The thing's not fair!" + </p> + <p> + "That is the reason my dear Jane is going to shuffle these pills around + each other herself," says the perfessor, "and then pick out one for him + and one for me. YOU don't know which is which, Jane. And as he is the + favourite, he is going to get the first chance. If he gets the one I want + him to get, he will have just fifteen minutes to live after taking it. In + that fifteen minutes he will please to walk so far from my house that he + won't die near it and make a scandal. I won't have a scandal without I + have to. Everything is going to be nice and quiet and respectable. The + effect of the poison is similar to heart failure. No one can tell the + difference on the corpse. There's going to be no blood anywhere. I will be + found dead in my house in the morning with heart failure, or else he will + be picked up dead in the street, far enough away so as to make no talk." + Or they was words to that effect. + </p> + <p> + He is rubbing it in considerable, I thinks, that perfessor is. I wonder if + I better jump in and stop the hull thing. Then I thinks: "No, it's between + them three." Besides, I want to see which one is going to get that there + loaded pill. I always been intrusted in games of chancet of all kinds, and + when I seen the perfessor was such a sport, I'm sorry I been misjudging + him all this time. + </p> + <p> + Jane, she looks at the box, and she breathes hard and quick. + </p> + <p> + "I won't touch 'em," she says. "I refuse to be a party to any murder of + that kind." + </p> + <p> + "Huh? You do?" says the perfessor. "But the time when you might have + refused has gone by. You have made yourself a party to it already. You're + really the MAIN party to it. + </p> + <p> + "But do as you like," he goes on. "I'm giving him more chance than I ought + to with those pills. I might shoot him, and I would, and then face the + music, if it wasn't for mixing the children up in the scandal, Jane. If + you want to see him get a fair chance, Jane, you've got to hand out these + pills, one to him and then one to me. YOU must kill one or the other of + us, or else <i>I</i>'LL kill HIM the other way. And YOU had better pick + one out for him, because <i>I</i> know which is which. Or else let him + pick one out for himself," he says. + </p> + <p> + Henry, he wasn't saying nothing. I thought he had fainted. But he hadn't. + I seen him licking his lips. I bet Henry's mouth was all dry inside. + </p> + <p> + Jane, she took the box and she went round in front of Henry and she looked + at him hard. She looked at him like she was thinking: "Fur God's sake, + spunk up some, and take one if it DOES kill you!" Then she says out loud: + "Henry, if you die I will die, too!" + </p> + <p> + And Henry, he took one. His hand shook, but he took it out'n the box. If + she had of looked like that at me mebby I would of took one myself. Fur + Jane, she was a peach, she was. But I don't know whether I would of or + not. When she makes that brag about dying, I looked at the perfessor. What + she said never fazed him. And I thinks agin: "Mebby I better jump in now + and stop this thing." And then I thinks agin: "No, it is between them + three and Providence." Besides, I'm anxious to see who is going to get + that pill with the science in it. I gets to feeling jest like Providence + hisself was in that there room picking out them pills with his own hands. + And I was anxious to see what Providence's ideas of right and wrong was + like. So fur as I could see they was all three in the wrong, but if I had + of been in there running them pills in Providence's place I would of let + them all off kind o' easy. + </p> + <p> + Henry, he ain't eat his pill yet. He is jest looking at it and shaking. + The perfessor pulls out his watch and lays it on the table. + </p> + <p> + "It is a quarter past eleven," he says. "Mr. Murray, are you going to make + me shoot you, after all? I didn't want a scandal," he says. "It's for you + to say whether you want to eat that pill and get your even chance, or + whether you want to get shot. The shooting method is sure, but it causes + talk. These pills won't. WHICH?" + </p> + <p> + And he pulls a revolver. Which I suppose he had got that too when he went + down after them pills. + </p> + <p> + Henry, he looks at the gun. + </p> + <p> + Then he looks at the pill. + </p> + <p> + Then he swallers the pill. + </p> + <p> + The perfessor puts his gun back into his pocket, and then he puts his pill + into his mouth. He don't swaller it. He looks at the watch, and he looks + at Henry. + </p> + <p> + "Sixteen minutes past eleven," he says. "AT EXACTLY TWENTY-NINE MINUTES TO + TWELVE MR. MURRAY WILL BE DEAD. I got the harmless one. I can tell by the + taste." + </p> + <p> + And he put the pieces out into his hand, to show that he has chewed his'n + up, not being willing to wait fifteen minutes fur a verdict from his + digestive ornaments. Then he put them pieces back into his mouth and + chewed 'em up and swallered 'em down like he was eating cough drops. + </p> + <p> + Henry has got sweat breaking out all over his face, and he tries to make + fur the door, but he falls down onto a sofa. + </p> + <p> + "This is murder," he says, weak-like. And he tries to get up again, but + this time he falls to the floor in a dead faint. + </p> + <p> + "It's a dern short fifteen minutes," I thinks to myself. "That perfessor + must of put more science into Henry's pill than he thought he did fur it + to of knocked him out this quick. It ain't skeercly three minutes." + </p> + <p> + When Henry falls the woman staggers and tries to throw herself on top of + him. The corners of her mouth was all drawed down, and her eyes was turned + up. But she don't yell none. She can't. She tries, but she jest gurgles in + her throat. The perfessor won't let her fall acrost Henry. He ketches her. + "Sit up, Jane," he says, with that Estelle look onto his face, "and let us + have a talk." + </p> + <p> + She looks at him with no more sense in her face than a piece of putty has + got. But she can't look away from him. + </p> + <p> + And I'm kind o' paralyzed, too. If that feller laying on the floor had + only jest kicked oncet, or grunted, or done something, I could of loosened + up and yelled, and I would of. I jest NEEDED to fetch a yell. But Henry + ain't more'n dropped down there till I'm feeling jest like he'd ALWAYS + been there, and I'd ALWAYS been staring into that room, and the last word + any one spoke was said hundreds and hundreds of years ago. + </p> + <p> + "You're a murderer," says Jane in a whisper, looking at the perfessor in + that stare-eyed way. "You're a MURDERER," she says, saying it like she was + trying to make herself feel sure he really was one. + </p> + <p> + "Murder!" says the perfessor. "Did you think I was going to run any + chances for a pup like him? He's scared, that's all. He's just fainted + through fright. He's a coward. Those pills were both just bread and sugar. + He'll be all right in a minute or two. I've just been showing you that the + fellow hasn't got nerve enough nor brains enough for a fine woman like + you, Jane," he says. + </p> + <p> + Then Jane begins to sob and laugh, both to oncet, kind o' wild like, her + voice clucking like a hen does, and she says: + </p> + <p> + "It's worse then, it's worse! It's worse for me than if it were a murder! + Some farces can be more tragic than any tragedy ever was," she says. Or + they was words to that effect. + </p> + <p> + And if Henry had of been really dead she couldn't of took it no harder + than she begun to take it now when she saw he was alive, but jest wasn't + no good. But I seen she was taking on fur herself now more'n fur Henry. + Doctor Kirby always use to say women is made unlike most other animals in + many ways. When they is foolish about a man they can stand to have that + man killed a good 'eal better than to have him showed up ridiculous right + in front of them. They will still be crazy about the man that is dead, + even if he was crooked. But they don't never forgive the fellow that lets + himself be made a fool and lets them look foolish, too. And when the + perfessor kicks Henry in the ribs, and Henry comes to and sneaks out, + Jane, she never even turns her head and looks at him. + </p> + <p> + "Jane," says the perfessor, when she quiets down some, "you have a lot o' + things to forgive me. But do you suppose I have learned enough so that we + can make a go of it if we start all over again?" + </p> + <p> + But Jane she never said nothing. + </p> + <p> + "Jane," he says, "Estelle is going back to New England, as soon as Margery + gets well, and she will stay there for good." + </p> + <p> + Jane, she begins to take a little intrust then. + </p> + <p> + "Did Estelle tell you so?" she asts. + </p> + <p> + "No," says the perfessor. "Estelle doesn't know it yet. I'm going to break + the news to her in the morning." + </p> + <p> + But Jane still hates him. She's making herself hate him hard. She wouldn't + of been a human woman if she had let herself be coaxed up all to oncet. + Purty soon she says: "I'm tired." And she went out looking like the + perfessor was a perfect stranger. She was a peace, Jane was. + </p> + <p> + After she left, the perfessor set there quite a spell and smoked. And he + was looking tired out, too. They wasn't no mistake about me. I was jest + dead all through my legs. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link2HCH0012" id="link2HCH0012"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + CHAPTER XII + </h2> + <p> + I was down in the perfessor's labertory one day, and that was a queer + place. They was every kind of scientifics that has ever been discovered in + it. Some was pickled in bottles and some was stuffed and some was pinned + to the walls with their wings spread out. If you took hold of anything, it + was likely to be a skull and give you the shivers or some electric + contraption and shock you; and if you tipped over a jar and it broke, + enough germs might get loose to slaughter a hull town. I was helping the + perfessor to unpack a lot of stuff some friends had sent him, and I + noticed a bottle that had onto it, blowed in the glass: + </p> + <p> + DANIEL, DUNNE AND COMPANY + </p> + <p> + "That's funny," says I, out loud. + </p> + <p> + "What is?" asts the perfessor. + </p> + <p> + I showed him the bottle and told him how I was named after the company + that made 'em. He says to look around me. They is all kinds of glassware + in that room—bottles and jars and queer-shaped things with crooked + tails and noses—and nigh every piece of glass the perfessor owns is + made by that company. + </p> + <p> + "Why," says the perfessor, "their factory is in this very town." + </p> + <p> + And nothing would do fur me but I must go and see that factory. I couldn't + till the quarantine was pried loose from our house. But when it was, I + went down town and hunted up the place and looked her over. + </p> + <p> + It was a big factory, and I was kind of proud of that. I was glad she + wasn't no measly, little, old-fashioned, run-down concern. Of course, I + wasn't really no relation to it and it wasn't none to me. But I was named + fur it, too, and it come about as near to being a fambly as anything I had + ever had or was likely to find. So I was proud it seemed to be doing so + well. + </p> + <p> + I thinks as I looks at her of the thousands and thousands of bottles that + has been coming out of there fur years and years, and will be fur years + and years to come. And one bottle not so much different from another one. + And all that was really knowed about me was jest the name on one out of + all them millions and millions of bottles. It made me feel kind of queer, + when I thought of that, as if I didn't have no separate place in the world + any more than one of them millions of bottles. If any one will shut his + eyes and say his own name over and over agin fur quite a spell, he will + get kind of wonderized and mesmerized a-doing it—he will begin to + wonder who the dickens he is, anyhow, and what he is, and what the + difference between him and the next feller is. He will wonder why he + happens to be himself and the next feller HIMSELF. He wonders where + himself leaves off and the rest of the world begins. I been that way + myself—all wonderized, so that I felt jest like I was a melting + piece of the hull creation, and it was all shifting and drifting and + changing and flowing, and not solid anywhere, and I could hardly keep + myself from flowing into it. It makes a person feel awful queer, like + seeing a ghost would. It makes him feel like HE wasn't no solider than a + ghost himself. Well, if you ever done that and got that feeling, you KNOW + what I mean. All of a sudden, when I am trying to take in all them + millions and millions of bottles, it rushed onto me, that feeling, strong. + Thinking of them bottles had somehow brung it on. The bigness of the hull + creation, and the smallness of me, and the gait at which everything was + racing and rushing ahead, made me want to grab hold of something solid and + hang on. + </p> + <p> + I reached out my hand, and it hit something solid all right. It was a + feller who was wheeling out a hand truck loaded with boxes from the + shipping department. I had been standing by the shipping department door, + and I reached right agin him. + </p> + <p> + He wants to know if I am drunk or a blanked fool. So after some talk of + that kind I borrows a chew of tobacco of him and we gets right well + acquainted. + </p> + <p> + I helped him finish loading his wagon and rode over to the freight depot + with him and helped him unload her. Lifting one of them boxes down from + the wagon I got such a shock I like to of dropped her. + </p> + <p> + Fur she was marked so many dozen, glass, handle with care, and she was + addressed to Dr. Hartley L. Kirby, Atlanta, Ga. + </p> + <p> + I managed to get that box onto the platform without busting her, and then + I sets down on top of her awful weak. + </p> + <p> + "What's the matter?" asts the feller I was with. + </p> + <p> + "Nothing," says I. + </p> + <p> + "You look sick," he says. And I WAS feeling that-a-way. + </p> + <p> + "Mebby I do," says I, "and it's enough to shake a feller up to find a dead + man come to life sudden like this." + </p> + <p> + "Great snakes, no!" says he, looking all around, "where?" + </p> + <p> + But I didn't stop to chew the rag none. I left him right there, with his + mouth wide open, staring after me like I was crazy. Half a block away I + looked back and I seen him double over and slap his knee and laugh loud, + like he had hearn a big joke, but what he was laughing at I never knew. + </p> + <p> + I was tickled. Tickled? Jest so tickled I was plumb foolish with it. The + doctor was alive after all—I kept saying it over and over to myself—he + hadn't drownded nor blowed away. And I was going to hunt him up. + </p> + <p> + I had a little money. The perfessor had paid it to me. He had give me a + job helping take care of his hosses and things like that, and wanted me to + stay, and I had been thinking mebby I would fur a while. But not now! + </p> + <p> + I calkelated I could grab a ride that very night that would put me into + Evansville the next morning. I figgered if I ketched a through freight + from there on the next night I might get where he was almost as quick as + them bottles did. + </p> + <p> + I didn't think it was no use writing out my resignation fur the perfessor. + But I got quite a bit of grub from Biddy Malone to make a start on, fur I + didn't figger on spending no more money than I had to on grub. She asts me + a lot of questions, and I had to lie to her a good deal, but I got the + grub. And at ten that night I was in an empty bumping along south, along + with a cross-eyed feller named Looney Hogan who happened to be travelling + the same way. + </p> + <p> + Riding on trains without paying fare ain't always the easy thing it + sounds. It is like a trade that has got to be learned. They is different + ways of doing it. I have done every way frequent, except one. That I give + up after trying her two, three times. That is riding the rods down + underneath the cars, with a piece of board put acrost 'em to lay yourself + on. + </p> + <p> + I never want to go ANYWHERES agin bad enough to ride the rods. + </p> + <p> + Because sometimes you arrive where you are going to partly smeared over + the trucks and in no condition fur to be made welcome to our city, as + Doctor Kirby would say. Sometimes you don't arrive. Every oncet in a while + you read a little piece in a newspaper about a man being found alongside + the tracks, considerable cut up, or laying right acrost them, mebby. He is + held in the morgue a while and no one knows who he is, and none of the + train crew knows they has run over a man, and the engineer says they + wasn't none on the track. More'n likely that feller has been riding the + rods, along about the middle of the train. Mebby he let himself go to + sleep and jest rolled off. Mebby his piece of board slipped and he fell + when the train jolted. Or mebby he jest natcherally made up his mind he + rather let loose and get squashed then get any more cinders into his eyes. + Riding the blind baggage or the bumpers gives me all the excitement I + wants, or all the gambling chancet either; others can have the rods fur + all of me. And they IS some people ackshally says they likes 'em best. + </p> + <p> + A good place, if it is winter time, is the feed rack over a cattle car, + fur the heat and steam from all them steers in there will keep you warm. + But don't crawl in no lumber car that is only loaded about half full, and + short lengths and bundles of laths and shingles in her; fur they is likely + to get to shifting and bumping. Baled hay is purty good sometimes. Myself, + not being like these bums that is too proud to work, I have often helped + the fireman shovel coal and paid fur my ride that-a-way. But an empty, fur + gineral purposes, will do about as well as anything. + </p> + <p> + This feller Looney Hogan that was with me was a kind of a harmless + critter, and he didn't know jest where he was going, nor why. He was + mostly scared of things, and if you spoke to him quick he shivered first + and then grinned idiotic so you wouldn't kick him, and when he talked he + had a silly little giggle. He had been made that-a-way in a reform school + where they took him young and tried to work the cussedness out'n him by + batting him around. They worked it out, and purty nigh everything else + along with it, I guess. Looney had had a pardner whose name was Slim, he + said; but a couple of years before Slim had fell overboard off'n a barge + up to Duluth and never come up agin. Looney knowed Slim was drownded all + right, but he was always travelling around looking at tanks and freight + depots and switch shanties, fur Slim's mark to be fresh cut with a knife + somewheres, so he would know where to foller and ketch up with him agin. + He knowed he would never find Slim's mark, he said, but he kept a-looking, + and he guessed that was the way he got the name of Looney. + </p> + <p> + Looney left me at Evansville. He said he was going east from there, he + guessed. And I went along south. But I was hindered considerable, being + put off of trains three or four times, and having to grab these here slow + local freights between towns all the way down through Kentuckey. Anywheres + south of the Ohio River and east of the Mississippi River trainmen is + grouchier to them they thinks is bums than north of it, anyhow. And in + some parts of it, if a real bum gets pinched, heaven help 'im, fur nothing + else won't. + </p> + <p> + One night, between twelve and one o'clock, I was put off of a freight + train fur the second time in a place in the northern part of Tennessee, + right near the Kentuckey line. I set down in a lumber yard near the + railroad track, and when she started up agin I grabbed onto the iron + ladder and swung myself aboard. But the brakeman was watching fur me, and + clumb down the ladder and stamped on my fingers. So I dropped off, with + one finger considerable mashed, and set down in that lumber yard wondering + what next. + </p> + <p> + It was a dark night, and so fur as I could see they wasn't much moving in + that town. Only a few places was lit up. One was way acrost the town + square from me, and it was the telephone exchange, with a man operator + reading a book in there. The other was the telegraph room in the depot + about a hundred yards from me, and they was only two fellers in it, both + smoking. The main business part of the town was built up around the + square, like lots of old-fashioned towns is, and they was jest enough + brightness from four, five electric lights to show the shape of the square + and be reflected from the windows of the closed-up stores. + </p> + <p> + I knowed they was likely a watchman somewheres about, too. I guessed I + wouldn't wander around none and run no chances of getting took up by him. + So I was getting ready to lay down on top of a level pile of boards and go + to sleep when I hearn a curious kind of noise a way off, like it must be + at the edge of town. + </p> + <p> + It sounded like quite a bunch of cattle might shuffling along a dusty + road. The night was so quiet you could hear things plain from a long ways + off. It growed a little louder and a little nearer. And then it struck a + plank bridge somewheres, and come acrost it with a clatter. Then I knowed + it wasn't cattle. Cows and steers don't make that cantering kind of noise + as a rule; they trot. It was hosses crossing that bridge. And they was + quite a lot of 'em. + </p> + <p> + As they struck the dirt road agin, I hearn a shot. And then another and + another. Then a dozen all to oncet, and away off through the night a woman + screamed. + </p> + <p> + I seen the man in the telephone place fling down his book and grab a + pistol from I don't know where. He stepped out into the street and fired + three shots into the air as fast as he could pull the trigger. And as he + done so they was a light flashed out in a building way down the railroad + track, and shots come answering from there. Men's voices began to yell + out; they was the noise of people running along plank sidewalks, and + windows opening in the dark. Then with a rush the galloping noise come + nearer, come closet; raced by the place where I was hiding, and nigh a + hundred men with guns swept right into the middle of that square and + pulled their hosses up. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link2HCH0013" id="link2HCH0013"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + CHAPTER XIII + </h2> + <p> + I seen the feller from the telephone exchange run down the street a little + ways as the first rush hit the square, and fire his pistol twice. Then he + turned and made fur an alleyway, but as he turned they let him have it. He + throwed up his arms and made one long stagger, right acrost the bar of + light that streamed out of the windows, and he fell into the shadder, out + of sight, jest like a scorched moth drops dead into the darkness from a + torch. + </p> + <p> + Out of the middle of that bunch of riders come a big voice, yelling + numbers, instead of men's names. Then different crowds lit out in all + directions—some on foot, while others held their hosses—fur + they seemed to have a plan laid ahead. + </p> + <p> + And then things began to happen. They happened so quick and with such a + whirl it was all unreal to me—shots and shouts, and windows breaking + as they blazed away at the store fronts all around the square—and + orders and cuss-words ringing out between the noise of shooting—and + those electric lights shining on them as they tossed and trampled, and + showing up masked faces here and there—and pounding hoofs, and + hosses scream—like humans with excitement—and spurts of flame + squirted sudden out of the ring of darkness round about the open place—and + a bull-dog shut up in a store somewheres howling himself hoarse—and + white puffs of powder smoke like ghosts that went a-drifting by the lights—it + was all unreal to me, as if I had a fever and was dreaming it. That square + was like a great big stage in front of me, and I laid in the darkness on + my lumber pile and watched things like a show—not much scared + because it WAS so derned unreal. + </p> + <p> + From way down along the railroad track they come a sort of blunted roar, + like blasting big stumps out—and then another and another. Purty + soon, down that way, a slim flame licked up the side of a big building + there, and crooked its tongue over the top. Then a second big building + right beside it ketched afire, and they both showed up in their own light, + big and angry and handsome, and the light showed up the men in front of + 'em, too—guarding 'em, I guess, fur fear the town would get its + nerve and make a fight to put 'em out. They begun to light the whole town + up as light as day, and paint a red patch onto the sky, that must of been + noticed fur miles around. It was a mighty purty sight to see 'em burn. The + smoke was rolling high, too, and the sparks flying and other things in + danger of ketching, and after while a lick of smoke come drifting up my + way. I smelt her. It was tobacco burning in them warehouses. + </p> + <p> + But that town had some fight in her, in spite of being took unexpected + that-a-way. It wasn't no coward town. The light from the burning buildings + made all the shadders around about seem all the darker. And every once in + a while, after the surprise of the first rush, they would come thin little + streaks of fire out of the darkness somewheres, and the sound of shots. + And then a gang of riders would gallop in that direction shooting up all + creation. But by the time the warehouses was all lit up so that you could + see they was no hope of putting them out the shooting from the darkness + had jest about stopped. + </p> + <p> + It looked like them big tobacco warehouses was the main object of the + raid. Fur when they was burning past all chancet of saving, with walls and + floors a-tumbling and crashing down and sending up great gouts of fresh + flame as they fell, the leader sings out an order, and all that is not on + their hosses jumps on, and they rides away from the blaze. They come + across the square—not galloping now, but taking it easy, laughing + and talking and cussing and joking each other—and passed right by my + lumber pile agin and down the street they had come. You bet I laid low on + them boards while they was going by, and flattened myself out till I felt + like a shingle. + </p> + <p> + As I hearn their hoof-sounds getting farther off, I lifts up my head agin. + But they wasn't all gone, either. Three that must of been up to some + pertic'ler deviltry of their own come galloping acrost the square to ketch + up with the main bunch. Two was quite a bit ahead of the third one, and he + yelled to them to wait. But they only laughed and rode harder. + </p> + <p> + And then fur some fool reason that last feller pulled up his hoss and + stopped. He stopped in the road right in front of me, and wheeled his hoss + acrost the road and stood up in his stirrups and took a long look at that + blaze. You'd 'a' said he had done it all himself and was mighty proud of + it, the way he raised his head and looked back at that town. He was so + near that I hearn him draw in a slow, deep breath. He stood still fur most + a minute like that, black agin the red sky, and then he turned his hoss's + head and jabbed him with his stirrup edge. + </p> + <p> + Jest as the hoss started they come a shot from somewheres behind me. I + s'pose they was some one hid in the lumber piles, where the street crossed + the railway, besides myself. The hoss jumped forward at the shot, and the + feller swayed sideways and dropped his gun and lost his stirrups and come + down heavy on the ground. His hoss galloped off. I heard the noise of some + one running off through the dark, and stumbling agin the lumber. It was + the feller who had fired the shot running away. I suppose he thought the + rest of them riders would come back, when they heard that shot, and hunt + him down. + </p> + <p> + I thought they might myself. But I laid there, and jest waited. If they + come, I didn't want to be found running. But they didn't come. The two + last ones had caught up with the main gang, I guess, fur purty soon I + hearn them all crossing that plank bridge agin, and knowed they was gone. + </p> + <p> + At first I guessed the feller on the ground must be dead. But he wasn't, + fur purty soon I hearn him groan. He had mebby been stunned by his fall, + and was coming to enough to feel his pain. + </p> + <p> + I didn't feel like he orter be left there. So I clumb down and went over + to him. He was lying on one side all kind of huddled up. There had been a + mask on his face, like the rest of them, with some hair onto the bottom of + it to look like a beard. But now it had slipped down till it hung loose + around his neck by the string. They was enough light to see he wasn't + nothing but a young feller. He raised himself slow as I come near him, + leaning on one arm and trying to set up. The other arm hung loose and + helpless. Half setting up that-away he made a feel at his belt with his + good hand, as I come near. But that good arm was his prop, and when he + took it off the ground he fell back. His hand come away empty from his + belt. + </p> + <p> + The big six-shooter he had been feeling fur wasn't in its holster, anyhow. + It had fell out when he tumbled. I picked it up in the road jest a few + feet from his shot-gun, and stood there with it in my hand, looking down + at him. + </p> + <p> + "Well," he says, in a drawly kind of voice, slow and feeble, but looking + at me steady and trying to raise himself agin, "yo' can finish yo' little + job now—yo' shot me from the darkness, and now yo' done got my + pistol. I reckon yo' better shoot AGIN." + </p> + <p> + "I don't want to rub it in none," I says, "with you down and out, but from + what I seen around this town to-night I guess you and your own gang got no + GREAT objections to shooting from the dark yourselves." + </p> + <p> + "Why don't yo' shoot then?" he says. "It most suttinly is YO' turn now." + And he never batted an eye. + </p> + <p> + "Bo," I says, "you got nerve. I LIKE you, Bo. I didn't shoot you, and I + ain't going to. The feller that did has went. I'm going to get you out of + this. Where you hurt?" + </p> + <p> + "Hip," he says, "but that ain't much. The thing that bothers me is this + arm. It's done busted. I fell on it." + </p> + <p> + I drug him out of the road and back of the lumber pile I had been laying + on, and hurt him considerable a-doing it. + </p> + <p> + "Now," I says, "what can I do fur you?" + </p> + <p> + "I reckon yo' better leave me," he says, "without yo' want to get yo'self + mixed up in all this." + </p> + <p> + "If I do," I says, "you may bleed to death here: or anyway you would get + found in the morning and be run in." + </p> + <p> + "Yo' mighty good to me," says he, "considering yo' are no kin to this here + part of the country at all. I reckon by yo' talk yo' are one of them damn + Yankees, ain't yo'?" + </p> + <p> + In Illinoise a Yankee is some one from the East, but down South he is + anybody from north of the Ohio, and though that there war was fought forty + years ago some of them fellers down there don't know damn and Yankee is + two words yet. But shucks!—they don't mean no harm by it! So I tells + him I am a damn Yankee and asts him agin if I can do anything fur him. + </p> + <p> + "Yes," he says, "yo' can tell a friend of mine Bud Davis has happened to + an accident, and get him over here quick with his wagon to tote me home." + </p> + <p> + I was to go down the railroad track past them burning warehouses till I + come to the third street, and then turn to my left. "The third house from + the track has got an iron picket fence in front of it," says Bud, "and + it's the only house in that part of town which has. Beauregard Peoples + lives there. He is kin to me." + </p> + <p> + "Yes," I says, "and Beauregard is jest as likely as not going to take a + shot out of the front window at me, fur luck, afore I can tell him what I + want. It seems to be a kind of habit in these here parts to-night—I'm + getting homesick fur Illinoise. But I'll take a chancet." + </p> + <p> + "He won't shoot," says Bud, "if yo' go about it right. Beauregard ain't + going to be asleep with all this going on in town to-night. Yo' rattle on + the iron gate and he'll holler to know what yo' all want." + </p> + <p> + "If he don't shoot first," I says. + </p> + <p> + "When he hollers, yo' cry back at him yo' have found his OLD DEAD HOSS in + the road. It won't hurt to holler that loud, and that will make him let + you within talking distance." + </p> + <p> + "His old DEAD HOSS?" + </p> + <p> + "Yo' don't need to know what that is. HE will." And then Bud told me + enough of the signs and words to say, and things to do, to keep Beauregard + from shooting—he said he reckoned he had trusted me so much he might + as well go the hull hog. Beauregard, he says, belongs to them riders too; + they have friends in all the towns that watches the lay of the land fur + them, he says. + </p> + <p> + I made a long half-circle around them burning buildings, keeping in the + dark, fur people was coming out in bunches, now that it was all over with, + watching them fires burning, and talking excited, and saying the riders + should be follered—only not follering. + </p> + <p> + I found the house Bud meant, and they was a light in the second-story + window. I rattled on the gate. A dog barked somewheres near, but I hearn + his chain jangle and knowed he was fast, and I rattled on the gate agin. + </p> + <p> + The light moved away from the window. Then another front window opened + quiet, and a voice says: + </p> + <p> + "Doctor, is that yo' back agin?" + </p> + <p> + "No," I says, "I ain't a doctor." + </p> + <p> + "Stay where you are, then. <i>I</i> GOT YOU COVERED." + </p> + <p> + "I am staying," I says, "don't shoot." + </p> + <p> + "Who are yo'?" + </p> + <p> + "A feller," I says, kind of sensing his gun through the darkness as I + spoke, "who has found your OLD DEAD HOSS in the road." + </p> + <p> + He didn't answer fur several minutes. Then he says, using the words DEAD + HOSS as Bud had said he would. + </p> + <p> + "A DEAD HOSS is fitten fo' nothing but to skin." + </p> + <p> + "Well," I says, using the words fur the third time, as instructed, "it is + a DEAD HOSS all right." + </p> + <p> + I hearn the window shut and purty soon the front door opened. + </p> + <p> + "Come up here," he says. I come. + </p> + <p> + "Who rode that hoss yo' been talking about?" he asts. + </p> + <p> + "One of the SILENT BRIGADE," I tells him, as Bud had told me to say. I + give him the grip Bud had showed me with his good hand. + </p> + <p> + "Come on in," he says. + </p> + <p> + He shut the door behind us and lighted a lamp agin. And we looked each + other over. He was a scrawny little feller, with little gray eyes set near + together, and some sandy-complected whiskers on his chin. I told him about + Bud, and what his fix was. + </p> + <p> + "Damn it—oh, damn it all," he says, rubbing the bridge of his nose, + "I don't see how on AIRTH I kin do it. My wife's jest had a baby. Do yo' + hear that?" + </p> + <p> + And I did hear a sound like kittens mewing, somewheres up stairs. + Beauregard, he grinned and rubbed his nose some more, and looked at me + like he thought that mewing noise was the smartest sound that ever was + made. + </p> + <p> + "Boy," he says, grinning, "bo'n five hours ago. I've done named him Burley—after + the tobaccer association, yo' know. Yes, SIR, Burley Peoples is his name—and + he shore kin squall, the derned little cuss!" + </p> + <p> + "Yes," I says, "you better stay with Burley. Lend me a rig of some sort + and I'll take Bud home." + </p> + <p> + So we went out to Beauregard's stable with a lantern and hitched up one of + his hosses to a light road wagon. He went into the house and come back + agin with a mattress fur Bud to lie on, and a part of a bottle of whiskey. + And I drove back to that lumber pile. I guess I nearly killed Bud getting + him into there. But he wasn't bleeding much from his hip—it was his + arm was giving him fits. + </p> + <p> + We went slow, and the dawn broke with us four miles out of town. It was + broad daylight, and early morning noises stirring everywheres, when we + drove up in front of an old farmhouse, with big brick chimbleys built on + the outside of it, a couple of miles farther on. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link2HCH0014" id="link2HCH0014"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + CHAPTER XIV + </h2> + <p> + As I drove into the yard, a bare-headed old nigger with a game leg throwed + down an armful of wood he was gathering and went limping up to the veranda + as fast as he could. He opened the door and bawled out, pointing to us, + before he had it fairly open: + </p> + <p> + "O Marse WILLyum! O Miss LUCY! Dey've brung him home! DAR he!" + </p> + <p> + A little, bright, black-eyed old lady like a wren comes running out of the + house, and chirps: + </p> + <p> + "O Bud—O my honey boy! Is he dead?" + </p> + <p> + "I reckon not, Miss Lucy," says Bud raising himself up on the mattress as + she runs up to the wagon, and trying to act like everything was all a + joke. She was jest high enough to kiss him over the edge of the wagon box. + A worried-looking old gentleman come out the door, seen Bud and his mother + kissing each other, and then says to the old nigger man: + </p> + <p> + "George, yo' old fool, what do yo' mean by shouting out like that?" + </p> + <p> + "Marse Willyum—" begins George, explaining. + </p> + <p> + "Shut up," says the old gentleman, very quiet. "Take the bay mare and go + for Doctor Po'ter." Then he comes to the wagon and says: + </p> + <p> + "So they got yo', Bud? Yo' WOULD go nightriding like a rowdy and a thug! + Are yo' much hurt?" + </p> + <p> + He said it easy and gentle, more than mad. But Bud, he flushed up, pale as + he was, and didn't answer his dad direct. He turned to his mother and + said: + </p> + <p> + "Miss Lucy, dear, it would 'a' done yo' heart good to see the way them + trust warehouses blazed up!" + </p> + <p> + And the old lady, smiling and crying both to oncet, says, "God bless her + brave boy." But the old gentleman looked mighty serious, and his worry + settled into a frown between his eyes, and he turns to me and says: + </p> + <p> + "Yo' must pardon us, sir, fo' neglecting to thank yo' sooner." I told him + that would be all right, fur him not to worry none. And him and me and + Mandy, which was the nigger cook, got Bud into the house and into his bed. + And his mother gets that busy ordering Mandy and the old gentleman around, + to get things and fix things, and make Bud as easy as she could, that you + could see she was one of them kind of woman that gets a lot of + satisfaction out of having some one sick to fuss over. And after quite a + while George gets back with Doctor Porter. + </p> + <p> + He sets Bud's arm, and he locates the bullet in him, and he says he + guesses he'll do in a few weeks if nothing like blood poisoning nor + gangrene nor inflammation sets in. + </p> + <p> + Only the doctor says he "reckons" instead of he "guesses," which they all + do down there. And they all had them easy-going, wait-a-bit kind of + voices, and didn't see no pertic'ler importance in their "r's." It wasn't + that you could spell it no different when they talked, but it sounded + different. + </p> + <p> + I eat my breakfast with the old gentleman, and then I took a sleep until + time fur dinner. They wouldn't hear of me leaving that night. I fully + intended to go on the next day, but before I knowed it I been there a + couple of days, and have got very well acquainted with that fambly. + </p> + <p> + Well, that was a house divided agin itself. Miss Lucy, she is awful + favourable to all this nightrider business. She spunks up and her eyes + sparkles whenever she thinks about that there tobaccer trust. + </p> + <p> + She would of like to been a night-rider herself. But the old man, he says + law and order is the main pint. What the country needs, he says, ain't + burning down tobaccer warehouses, and shooting your neighbours, and + licking them with switches, fur no wrong done never righted another wrong. + </p> + <p> + "But you were in the Ku Klux Klan yo'self," says Miss Lucy. + </p> + <p> + The old man says the Ku Kluxes was working fur a principle—the + principle of keeping the white supremacy on top of the nigger race. Fur if + you let 'em quit work and go around balloting and voting it won't do. It + makes 'em biggity. And a biggity nigger is laying up trouble fur himself. + Because sooner or later he will get to thinking he is as good as one of + these here Angle-Saxtons you are always hearing so much talk about down + South. And if the Angle-Saxtons was to stand fur that, purty soon they + would be sociable equality. And next the hull dern country would be + niggerized. Them there Angle-Saxtons, that come over from Ireland and + Scotland and France and the Great British Islands and settled up the South + jest simply couldn't afford to let that happen, he says, and so they Ku + Kluxed the niggers to make 'em quit voting. It was THEIR job to MAKE law + and order, he says, which they couldn't be with niggers getting the idea + they had a right to govern. So they Ku Kluxed 'em like gentlemen. But + these here night-riders, he says, is AGIN law and order—they can + shoot up more law and order in one night than can be manufactured agin in + ten years. He was a very quiet, peaceable old man, Mr. Davis was, and Bud + says he was so dern foolish about law and order he had to up and shoot a + man, about fifteen years ago, who hearn him talking that-a-way and said he + reminded him of a Boston school teacher. + </p> + <p> + But Miss Lucy and Bud, they tells me what all them night-ridings is fur. + It seems this here tobaccer trust is jest as mean and low-down and + unprincipled as all the rest of them trusts. The farmers around there + raised considerable tobaccer—more'n they did of anything else. The + trust had shoved the price so low they couldn't hardly make a living. So + they organized and said they would all hold their tobaccer fur a fair + price. But some of the farmers wouldn't organize—said they had a + right to do what they pleased with their own tobaccer. So the night-riders + was formed to burn their barns and ruin their crops and whip 'em and shoot + 'em and make 'em jine. And also to burn a few trust warehouses now and + then, and show 'em this free American people, composed mainly out of the + Angle-Saxton races, wasn't going to take no sass from anybody. + </p> + <p> + An old feller by the name of Rufe Daniels who wouldn't jine the + night-riders had been shot to death on his own door step, jest about a + mile away, only a week or so before. The night-riders mostly used these + here automatic shot-guns, but they didn't bother with birdshot. They + mostly loaded their shells with buckshot. A few bicycle ball bearings + dropped out of old Rufe when they gathered him up and got him into shape + to plant. They is always some low-down cuss in every crowd that carries + things to the point where they get brutal, Bud says; and he feels like + them bicycle bearings was going a little too fur, though he wouldn't let + on to his dad that he felt that-a-way. + </p> + <p> + So fur as I could see they hadn't hurt the trust none to speak of, them + night-riders. But they had done considerable damage to their own county, + fur folks was moving away, and the price of land had fell. Still, I guess + they must of got considerable satisfaction out of raising the deuce nights + that-away; and sometimes that is worth a hull lot to a feller. As fur as I + could make out both the trust and the night-riders was in the wrong. But, + you take 'em one at a time, personal-like, and not into a gang, and most + of them night-riders is good-dispositioned folks. I never knowed any + trusts personal, but mebby if you could ketch 'em the same way they would + be similar. + </p> + <p> + I asts George one day what he thought about it. George, he got mighty + serious right off, like he felt his answer was going to be used to decide + the hull thing by. He was carrying a lot of scraps on a plate to a hound + dog that had a kennel out near George's cabin, and he walled his eyes + right thoughtful, and scratched his head with the fork he had been + scraping the plate with, but fur a while nothing come of it. Finally + George says: + </p> + <p> + "I'se 'spec' mah jedgment des about de same as Marse WILLyum's an' Miss + LUCY's. I'se notice hit mos' ingin'lly am de same." + </p> + <p> + "That can't be, George," says I, "fur they think different ways." + </p> + <p> + "Den if DAT am de case," says George, "dey ain't NO ONE kin settle hit + twell hit settles hitse'f. + </p> + <p> + "I'se mos' ingin'lly notice a thing DO settle hitse'f arter a while. Yass, + SAH, I'se notice dat! Long time ago dey was consid'ble gwines-on in dis + hyah county, Marse Daniel. I dunno ef yo' evah heah 'bout dat o' not, + Marse Daniel, but dey was a wah fit right hyah in dis hyah county. Such + gwines-on as nevah was—dem dar Yankees a-ridin' aroun' an' eatin' up + de face o' de yearth, like de plagues o' Pha'aoah, Marse Daniel, and + rippin' and rarin' an' racin' an' stealin' evehything dey could lay dey + han's on, Marse Daniel. An' ouah folks a-ridin' and a racin' and + projickin' aroun' in de same onsettled way. + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> +"Marse Willyum, he 'low HE gwine settle dat dar wah he-se'f—yass, SAH! +An' he got on he hoss, and he ride away an' jine Marse Jeb Stuart. But +dey don' settle hit. Marse Ab'ham Linkum, he 'low HE gwine settle hit, +an' sen' millyums an' millyums mo' o' dem Yankees down hyah, Marse +Daniel. But dey des ONsettle hit wuss'n evah! But arter a while it des +settle HITse'f. + + "An' den freedom broke out among de niggers, +and dey was mo' gwines-ON, an' talkin', an' some on 'em 'lowed dey was +gwine ter be no mo' wohk, Marse Daniel. But arter a while dat settle +HITse'f, and dey all went back to wohk agin. Den some on de niggers +gits de notion, Marse Daniel, dey gwine foh to VOTE. An' dey was mo' +gwines-on, an' de Ku Kluxes come a projickin' aroun' nights, like de +grave-yahds done been resu'rected, Marse Daniel, an' den arter a while +dat trouble settle HITse'f. +</pre> + <p> + "Den arter de Ku Kluxes dey was de time Miss Lucy Buckner gwine ter mahy + Marse Prent McMakin. An' she don' want to ma'hy him, if dey give her her + druthers about hit. But Ol' Marse Kunnel Hampton, her gram-pa, and her + aunt, MY Miss Lucy hyah, dey ain't gwine give her no druthers. And dey was + mo' gwines-ON. But dat settle HITse'f, too." + </p> + <p> + George, he begins to chuckle, and I ast him how. + </p> + <p> + "Yass, SAH, dat settle HITse'f. But I 'spec' Miss Lucy Buckner done he'p + some in de settleMENT. Foh de day befoh de weddin' was gwine ter be, she + ups an' she runs off wid a Yankee frien' of her brother, Kunnel Tom + Buckner. An' I'se 'spec' Kunnel Tom an' Marse Prent McMakin would o' + settle' HIM ef dey evah had o' cotched him—dat dar David Ahmstrong!" + </p> + <p> + "Who?" says I. + </p> + <p> + "David Ahmstrong was his entitlement," says George, "an' he been gwine to + de same college as Marse Tom Buckner, up no'th somewhah. Dat's how-come he + been visitin' Marse Tom des befoh de weddin' trouble done settle HIT se'f + dat-away." + </p> + <p> + Well, it give me quite a turn to run onto the mention of that there David + Armstrong agin in this part of the country. Here he had been jilting Miss + Hampton way up in Indiany, and running away with another girl down here in + Tennessee. Then it struck me mebby it is jest different parts of the same + story I been hearing of, and Martha had got her part a little wrong. + </p> + <p> + "George," I says, "what did you say Miss Lucy Buckner's gran-dad's name + was?" + </p> + <p> + "Kunnel Hampton—des de same as MY Miss Lucy befo' SHE done ma'hied + Marse Willyum." + </p> + <p> + That made me sure of it. It was the same woman. She had run away with + David Armstrong from this here same neighbourhood. Then after he got her + up North he had left her—or her left him. And then she wasn't Miss + Buckner no longer. And she was mad and wouldn't call herself Mrs. + Armstrong. So she moved away from where any one was lible to trace her to, + and took her mother's maiden name, which was Hampton. + </p> + <p> + "Well," I says, "what ever become of 'em after they run off, George?" + </p> + <p> + But George has told about all he knows. They went North, according to what + everybody thinks, he says. Prent McMakin, he follered and hunted. And Col. + Tom Buckner, he done the same. Fur about a year Colonel Tom, he was always + making trips away from there to the North. But whether he ever got any + track of his sister and that David Armstrong nobody knowed. Nobody never + asked him. Old Colonel Hampton, he grieved and he grieved, and not long + after the runaway he up and died. And Tom Buckner, he finally sold all he + owned in that part of the country and moved further south. George said he + didn't rightly know whether it was Alabama or Florida. Or it might of been + Georgia. + </p> + <p> + I thinks to myself that mebby Mrs. Davis would like to know where her + niece is, and that I better tell her about Miss Hampton being in that + there little Indiany town, and where it is. And then I thinks to myself I + better not butt in. Fur Miss Hampton has likely got her own reasons fur + keeping away from her folks, or else she wouldn't do it. Anyhow, it's none + of MY affair to bring the subject up to 'em. It looks to me like one of + them things George has been gassing about—one of them things that + has settled itself, and it ain't fur me to meddle and unsettle it. + </p> + <p> + It set me to thinking about Martha, too. Not that I hadn't thought of her + lots of times. I had often thought I would write her. But I kept putting + it off, and purty soon I kind of forgot Martha. I had seen a lot of + different girls of all kinds since I had seen Martha. Yet, whenever I + happened to think of Martha, I had always liked her best. Only moving + around the country so much makes it kind of hard to keep thinking steady + of the same girl. Besides, I had lost that there half of a ring, too. + </p> + <p> + But knowing what I did now about Miss Hampton being Miss Buckner—or + Mrs. Armstrong—and related to these Davises made me want to get away + from there. Fur that secret made me feel kind of sneaking, like I wasn't + being frank and open with them. Yet if I had of told 'em I would of felt + sneakinger yet fur giving Miss Hampton away. I never got into a mix up + that-a-way betwixt my conscience and my duty but what it made me feel + awful uncomfortable. So I guessed I would light out from there. They + wasn't never no kinder, better people than them Davises, either. They was + so pleased with my bringing Bud home the night he was shot they would of + jest natcherally give me half their farm if I had of ast them fur it. They + wanted me to stay there—they didn't say fur how long, and I guess + they didn't give a dern. But I was in a sweat to ketch up with Doctor + Kirby agin. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link2HCH0015" id="link2HCH0015"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + CHAPTER XV + </h2> + <p> + I made purty good time, and in a couple of days I was in Atlanta. I knowed + the doctor must of gone back into some branch of the medicine game—the + bottles told me that. I knowed it must be something that he needed some + special kind of bottles fur, too, or he wouldn't of had them shipped all + that distance, but would of bought them nearer. I seen I was a dern fool + fur rushing off and not inquiring what kind of bottles, so I could trace + what he was into easier. + </p> + <p> + It's hard work looking fur a man in a good-sized town. I hung around hotel + lobbies and places till I was tired of it, thinking he might come in. And + I looked through all the office buildings and read all the advertisements + in the papers. Then the second day I was there the state fair started up + and I went out to it. + </p> + <p> + I run acrost a couple I knowed out there the first thing—it was + Watty and the snake-charmer woman. Only she wasn't charming them now. Her + and Watty had a Parisian Models' show. I ast Watty where Dolly was. He + says he don't know, that Dolly has quit him. By which I guess he means he + has quit her. I ast where Reginald is, and the Human Ostrich. But from the + way they answered my questions I seen I wasn't welcome none around there. + I suppose that Mrs. Ostrich and Watty had met up agin somewheres, and had + jest natcherally run off with each other and left their famblies. Like as + not she had left poor old Reginald with that idiotic ostrich feller to + sell to strangers that didn't know his disposition. Or mebby by now + Reginald was turned loose in the open country to shift fur himself, among + wild snakes that never had no human education nor experience; and what + chancet would a friendly snake like Reginald have in a gang like that? + Some women has jest simply got no conscience at all about their husbands + and famblies, and that there Mrs. Ostrich was one of 'em. + </p> + <p> + Well, a feller can be a derned fool sometimes. Fur all my looking around I + wasted a lot of time before I thought of going to the one natcheral place—the + freight depot of the road them bottles had been shipped by. I had lost a + week coming down. But freight often loses more time than that. And it was + at the freight depot that I found him. + </p> + <p> + Tickled? Well, yes! Both of us. + </p> + <p> + "Well, by George," says he, "you're good for sore eyes." + </p> + <p> + Before he told me how he happened not to of drownded or blowed away or + anything he says we better fix up a bit. Which he meant I better. So he + buys me duds from head to heel, and we goes to a Turkish bath place and I + puts 'em on. And then we goes and eats. Hearty. + </p> + <p> + "Now," he says, "Fido Cut-up, how did you find me?"* + </p> + <p> + I told him about the bottles. + </p> + <p> + "A dead loss, those bottles," he says. "I wanted some non-refillable ones + for a little scheme I had in mind, and I had to get them at a certain + place—and now the scheme's up in the air and I can't use 'em." + </p> + <p> + The doctor had changed some in looks in the year or more that had passed + since I saw him floating away in that balloon. And not fur the better. He + told me how he had blowed clean acrost Lake Erie in that there balloon. + And then when he got over land agin and went to pull the cord that lets + the parachute loose it wouldn't work at first. He jest natcherally drifted + on into the midst of nowhere, he said—miles and miles into Canada. + When he lit the balloon had lost so much gas and was flying so low that + the parachute didn't open out quick enough to do much floating. So he lit + hard, and come near being knocked out fur good. But— + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + *AUTHOR'S NOTE—Can it be that Danny struggles vaguely + to report some reference to FIDUS ACHATES? +</pre> + <p> + that wasn't the worst of it, fur the exposure had crawled into his lungs + by the time he found a house, and he got newmonia into them also, and like + to of died. Whilst I was laying sick he had been sick also, only his'n + lasted much longer. + </p> + <p> + But he tells me he has jest struck an idea fur a big scheme. No little + schemes go fur him any more, he says. He wants money. Real money. + </p> + <p> + "How you going to get it?" I asts him. + </p> + <p> + "Come along and I'll tell you," he says. "We'll take a walk, and I'll show + you how I got my idea." + </p> + <p> + We left the restaurant and went along the brag street of that town, which + it is awful proud of, past where the stores stops and the houses begins. + We come to a fine-looking house on a corner—a swell place it was, + with lots of palms and ferns and plants setting on the verandah and + showing through the windows. And stables back of it; and back of the + stables a big yard with noises coming from it like they was circus animals + there. Which I found out later they really was, kept fur pets. You could + tell the people that lived there had money. + </p> + <p> + "This," says Doctor Kirby, as we walked by, "is the house that Jackson + built. Dr. Julius Jackson—OLD Doctor Jackson, the man with an idea! + The idea made all the money you smell around here." + </p> + <p> + "What idea?" + </p> + <p> + "The idea—the glorious humanitarian and philanthropic idea—of + taking the kinks and curls out of the hair of the Afro-American brother," + says Doctor Kirby, "at so much per kink." + </p> + <p> + This Doctor Jackson, he says, sells what he calls Anti-Curl to the + niggers. It is to straighten out their hair so it will look like white + people's hair. They is millions and millions of niggers, and every nigger + has millions and millions of kinks, and so Doctor Jackson has got rich at + it. So rich he can afford to keep that there personal circus menagerie in + his back yard, for his little boy to play with, and many other interesting + things. He must be worth two, three million dollars, Doctor Kirby says, + and still a-making it, with more niggers growing up all the time fur to + have their hair unkinked. Especially mulattoes and yaller niggers. Doctor + Kirby says thinking what a great idea that Anti-Curl was give him his own + great idea. They is a gold mine there, he says, and Dr. Julius Jackson has + only scratched a little off the top of it, but HE is going to dig deeper. + </p> + <p> + "Why is it that the Afro-American brother buys Anti-Curl?" he asts. + </p> + <p> + "Why?" I asts. + </p> + <p> + "Because," he says, "he wants to be as much like a white man as he + possibly can. He strives to burst his birth's invidious bar, Danny. They + talk about progress and education for the Afro-American brother, and + uplift and advancement and industrial education and manual training and + all that sort of thing. Especially we Northerners. But what the + Afro-American brother thinks about and dreams about and longs for and + prays to be—when he thinks at all—is to be white. Education, + to his mind, is learning to talk like a white man. Progress means aping + the white man. Religion is dying and going to heaven and being a WHITE + angel—listen to his prayers and sermons and you'll find that out. + He'll do anything he can, or give anything he can get his Ethiopian + grubhooks on, for something that he thinks is going to make him more like + a white man. Poor devil! Therefore the millions of Doctor Jackson + Anti-Curl. + </p> + <p> + "All this Doctor Jackson Anti-Curl has discovered and thought out and + acted upon. If he had gone just one step farther the Afro-American brother + would have hailed him as a greater man than Abraham Lincoln, or either of + the Washingtons, George or Booker. It remains for me, Danny—for US—to + carry the torch ahead—to take up the work where the imagination of + Doctor Jackson Anti-Curl has laid it down." + </p> + <p> + "How?" asts I. + </p> + <p> + "WE'LL PUT UP AND SELL A PREPARATION TO TURN THE NEGROES WHITE!" + </p> + <p> + THAT was his great idea. He was more excited over it than I ever seen him + before about anything. + </p> + <p> + It sounded like so easy a way to get rich it made me wonder why no one had + ever done it before, if it could really be worked. I didn't believe much + it could be worked. + </p> + <p> + But Doctor Kirby, he says he has begun his experiments already, with + arsenic. Arsenic, he says, will bleach anything. Only he is kind of afraid + of arsenic, too. If he could only get hold of something that didn't cost + much, and that would whiten them up fur a little while, he says, it + wouldn't make no difference if they did get black agin. This here + Anti-Curl stuff works like that—it takes the kinks out fur a little + while, and they come back agin. But that don't seem to hurt the sale none. + It only calls fur MORE of Doctor Jackson's medicine. + </p> + <p> + The doctor takes me around to the place he boards at, and shows me a + nigger waiter he has been experimenting on. He had paid the nigger's fine + in a police court fur slashing another nigger some with a knife, and kept + him from going into the chain-gang. So the nigger agreed he could use his + hide to try different kinds of medicines on. He was a velvety-looking, + chocolate-coloured kind of nigger to start with, and the best Doctor Kirby + had been able to do so fur was to make a few little liver-coloured spots + come onto him. But it was making the nigger sick, and the doctor was + afraid to go too fur with it, fur Sam might die and we would be at the + expense of another nigger. Peroxide of hidergin hadn't even phased him. + Nor a lot of other things we tried onto him. + </p> + <p> + You never seen a nigger with his colour running into him so deep as Sam's + did. Sam, he was always apologizing about it, too. You could see it made + him feel real bad to think his colour was so stubborn. He felt like it + wasn't being polite to the doctor and me, Sam did, fur his skin to act + that-a-way. He was a willing nigger, Sam was. The doctor, he says he will + find out the right stuff if he has to start at the letter A and work Sam + through every drug in the hull blame alphabet down to Z. + </p> + <p> + Which he finally struck it. I don't exactly know what she had in her, but + she was a mixture of some kind. The only trouble with her was she didn't + work equal and even—left Sam's face looking peeled and spotty in + places. But still, in them spots, Sam was six shades lighter. The doctor + says that is jest what he wants, that there passing + on-to-the-next-cage-we-have-the-spotted-girocutus-look, as he calls it. + The chocolate brown and the lighter spots side by side, he says, made a + regular Before and After out of Sam's face, and was the best advertisement + you could have. + </p> + <p> + Then we goes and has a talk with Doctor Jackson himself. Doctor Kirby has + the idea mebby he will put some money into it. Doctor Jackson was setting + on his front veranda with his chair tilted back, and his feet, with red + carpet slippers on 'em, was on the railing, and he was smoking one of + these long black cigars that comes each one in a little glass tube all by + itself. He looks Sam over very thoughtful, and he says: + </p> + <p> + "Yes, it will do the work well enough. I can see that. But will it sell?" + </p> + <p> + Doctor Kirby makes him quite a speech. I never hearn him make a better + one. Doctor Jackson he listens very calm, with his thumbs in the armholes + of his vest, and moving his eyebrows up and down like he enjoyed it. But + he don't get excited none. Finally Doctor Kirby says he will undertake to + show that it will sell—me and him will take a trip down into the + black country ourselves and show what can be done with it, and take Sam + along fur an object lesson. + </p> + <p> + Well, they was a lot of rag-chewing. Doctor Jackson don't warm up none, + and he asts a million questions. Like how much it costs a bottle to make + it, and what was our idea how much it orter sell fur. He says finally if + we can sell a certain number of bottles in so long a time he will put some + money into it. Only, he says, they will be a stock company, and he will + have to have fifty-one per cent. of the stock, or he won't put no money + into it. He says if things go well he will let Doctor Kirby be manager of + that company, and let him have some stock in it too, and he will be + president and treasurer of it himself. + </p> + <p> + Doctor Kirby, he didn't like that, and said so. Said HE was going to + organize that stock company, and control it himself. But Doctor Jackson + said he never put money into nothing he couldn't run. So it was settled we + would give the stuff a try-out and report to him. Before we went away from + there it looked to me like Doctor Kirby and me was going to work fur this + here Doctor Jackson, instead of making all them there millions fur + ourselves. Which I didn't take much to that Anti-Curl man myself; he was + so cold-blooded like. + </p> + <p> + I didn't like the scheme itself any too well, neither. Not any way you + could look at it. In the first place it seemed like a mean trick on the + niggers. Then I didn't much believe we could get away with it. + </p> + <p> + The more I looked him over the more I seen Doctor Kirby had changed + considerable. When I first knowed him he liked to hear himself talking and + he liked to live free and easy and he liked to be running around the + country and all them things, more'n he liked to be making money. Of + course, he wanted it; but that wasn't the ONLY thing he was into the + Sagraw game fur. If he had money, he was free with it and would help most + any one out of a hole. But he wasn't thinking it and talking it all the + time then. + </p> + <p> + But now he was thinking money and dreaming money and talking of nothing + but how to get it. And planning to make it out of skinning them niggers. + He didn't care a dern how he worked on their feelings to get it. He didn't + even seem to care whether he killed Sam trying them drugs onto him. He + wanted MONEY, and he wanted it so bad he was ready and willing to take up + with most any wild scheme to make it. + </p> + <p> + They was something about him now that didn't fit in much with the Doctor + Kirby I had knowed. It seemed like he had spells when he saw himself how + he had changed. He wasn't gay and joking all the time like he had been + before, neither. I guess the doctor was getting along toward fifty years + old. I suppose he thought if he was ever going to get anything out of his + gift of the gab he better settle down to something, and quit fooling + around, and do it right away. But it looked to me like he might never turn + the trick. Fur he was drinking right smart all the time. Drinking made him + think a lot, and thinking was making him look old. He was more'n one year + older than he had been a year ago. + </p> + <p> + He kept a quart bottle in his room now. The night after we had took Sam to + see Doctor Jackson we was setting in his room, and he was hitting it purty + hard. + </p> + <p> + "Danny," he says to me, after a while, like he was talking out loud to + himself too, "what did you think of Doctor Jackson?" + </p> + <p> + "I don't like him much," I says. + </p> + <p> + "Nor I," he says, frowning, and takes a drink. Then he says, after quite a + few minutes of frowning and thinking, under his breath like: "He's a blame + sight more decent than I am, for all of that." + </p> + <p> + "Why?" I asts him. + </p> + <p> + "Because Doctor Jackson," he says, "hasn't the least idea that he ISN'T + decent, and getting his money in a decent way. While at one time I was—" + </p> + <p> + He breaks off and don't say what he was. I asts him. "I was going to say a + gentleman," he says, "but on reflection, I doubt if I was ever anything + but a cheap imitation. I never heard a man say that he was a gentleman at + one time, that I didn't doubt him. Also," he goes on, working himself into + a better humour again with the sound of his own voice, "if I HAD ever been + a gentleman at any time, enough of it would surely have stuck to me to + keep me out of partnership with a man who cheats niggers." + </p> + <p> + He takes another drink and says even twenty years of running around the + country couldn't of took all the gentleman out of him like this, if he had + ever been one, fur you can break, you can scatter the vase if you will, + but the smell of the roses will stick round it still. + </p> + <p> + I seen now the kind of conversations he is always having with himself when + he gets jest so drunk and is thinking hard. Only this time it happens to + be out loud. + </p> + <p> + "What is a gentleman?" I asts him, thinking if he wasn't one it might take + his mind off himself a little to tell me. "What MAKES one?" + </p> + <p> + "Authorities differ," says Doctor Kirby, slouching down in his chair, and + grinning like he knowed a joke he wasn't going to tell no one. "I heard + Doctor Jackson describe himself that way the other day." + </p> + <p> + Well, speaking personal, I never had smelled none of roses. I wasn't + nothing but trash myself, so being a gentleman didn't bother me one way or + the other. The only reason I didn't want to see them niggers bunked so + very bad was only jest because it was such a low-down, ornery kind of + trick. + </p> + <p> + "It ain't too late," I says, "to pull out of this nigger scheme yet and + get into something more honest." + </p> + <p> + "I don't know," he says thoughtful. "I think perhaps it IS too late." And + he sets there looking like a man that is going over a good many years of + life in his mind. Purty soon he says: + </p> + <p> + "As far as honesty goes—it isn't that so much, O + Daniel-come-to-judgment! It's about as honest as most medicine games. It's—" + He stopped and frowned agin. + </p> + <p> + "What is it?" + </p> + <p> + "It's their being NIGGERS," he says. + </p> + <p> + That made the difference fur me, too. I dunno how, nor why. + </p> + <p> + "I've tried nearly everything but blackmail," he says, "and I'll probably + be trying that by this time next year, if this scheme fails. But there's + something about their being niggers that makes me sick of this thing + already—just as the time has come to make the start. And I don't + know WHY it should, either." He slipped another big slug of whiskey into + him, and purty soon he asts me: + </p> + <p> + "Do you know what's the matter with me?" + </p> + <p> + I asts him what. + </p> + <p> + "I'm too decent to be a crook," he says, "and too crooked to be decent. + You've got to be one thing or the other steady to make it pay." + </p> + <p> + Then he says: + </p> + <p> + "Did you ever hear of the descent to Avernus, Danny?" + </p> + <p> + "I might," I tells him, "and then agin I mightn't, but if I ever did, I + don't remember what she is. What is she?" + </p> + <p> + "It's the chute to the infernal regions," he says. "They say it's greased. + But it isn't. It's really no easier sliding down than it is climbing + back." + </p> + <p> + Well, I seen this nigger scheme of our'n wasn't the only thing that was + troubling Doctor Kirby that night. It was thinking of all the schemes like + it in the years past he had went into, and how he had went into 'em + light-hearted and more'n half fur fun when he was a young man, and now he + wasn't fitten fur nothing else but them kind of schemes, and he knowed it. + He was seeing himself how he had been changing, like another person could + of seen it. That's the main trouble with drinking to fergit yourself. You + fergit the wrong part of yourself. + </p> + <p> + I left him purty soon, and went along to bed. My room was next to his'n, + and they was a door between, so the two could be rented together if + wanted, I suppose. I went to sleep and woke up agin with a start out of a + dream that had in it millions and millions and millions of niggers, every + way you looked, and their mouths was all open red and their eyes walled + white, fit to scare you out of your shoes. + </p> + <p> + I hearn Doctor Kirby moving around in his room. But purty soon he sets + down and begins to talk to himself. Everything else was quiet. I was kind + of worried about him, he had taken so much, and hoped he wouldn't get a + notion to go downtown that time o' night. So I thinks I will see how he is + acting, and steps over to the door between the rooms. + </p> + <p> + The key happened to be on my side, and I unlocked it. But she only opens a + little ways, fur his wash stand was near to the hinge end of the door. + </p> + <p> + I looked through. He is setting by the table, looking at a woman's picture + that is propped up on it, and talking to himself. He has never hearn me + open the door, he is so interested. But somehow, he don't look drunk. He + looks like he had fought his way up out of it, somehow—his forehead + was sweaty, and they was one intoxicated lock of hair sticking to it; but + that was the only un-sober-looking thing about him. I guess his legs would + of been unsteady if he had of tried to walk, but his intellects was + uncomfortable and sober. + </p> + <p> + He is still keeping up that same old argument with himself, or with the + picture. + </p> + <p> + "It isn't any use," I hearn him say, looking at the picture. + </p> + <p> + Then he listened like he hearn it answering him. "Yes, you always say just + that—just that," he says. "And I don't know why I keep on listening + to you." + </p> + <p> + The way he talked, and harkened fur an answer, when they was nothing there + to answer, give me the creeps. + </p> + <p> + "You don't help me," he goes on, "you don't help me at all. You only make + it harder. Yes, this thing is worse than the others. I know that. But I + want money—and fool things like this HAVE sometimes made it. No, I + won't give it up. No, there's no use making any more promises now. I know + myself now. And you ought to know me by this time, too. Why can't you let + me alone altogether? I should think, when you see what I am, you'd let me + be. + </p> + <p> + "God help you! if you'd only stay away it wouldn't be so hard to go to + hell!" + </p> + <p> + <a name="link2HCH0016" id="link2HCH0016"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + CHAPTER XVI + </h2> + <p> + There's a lot of counties in Georgia where the blacks are equal in number + to the whites, and two or three counties where the blacks number over the + whites by two to one. It was fur a little town in one of the latter that + we pinted ourselves, Doctor Kirby and me and Sam—right into the + blackest part of the black belt. + </p> + <p> + That country is full of big-sized plantations, where they raise cotton, + cotton, cotton, and then MORE cotton. Some of 'em raises fruit, too, and + other things, of course; but cotton is the main stand-by, and it looks + like it always will be. + </p> + <p> + Some places there shows that things can't be so awful much changed since + slavery days, and most of the niggers are sure enough country niggers yet. + Some rents their land right out from the owners, and some of 'em crops it + on the shares, and very many of 'em jest works as hands. A lot of 'em + don't do nigh so well now as they did when their bosses was their masters, + they tell me; and then agin, some has done right well on their own hook. + They intrusted me, because I never had been use to looking at so many + niggers. Every way you turn there they is niggers and then more niggers. + </p> + <p> + Them that thinks they is awful easy to handle out of a natcheral respect + fur white folks has got another guess coming. They ain't so bad to get + along with if you keep it most pintedly shoved into their heads they IS + niggers. You got to do that especial in the black belt, jest because they + IS so many of 'em. They is children all their lives, mebby, till some one + minute of craziness may strike one of them, and then he is a devil + temporary. Mebby, when the crazy fit has passed, some white woman is worse + off than if she was dead, or mebby she IS dead, or mebby a loonatic fur + life, and that nigger is a candidate fur a lynching bee and ginerally + elected by an anonymous majority. + </p> + <p> + Not that ALL niggers is that-a-way, nor HALF of 'em, nor very MANY of 'em, + even—but you can never tell WHICH nigger is going to be. So in the + black belt the white folks is mighty pertic'ler who comes along fooling + with their niggers. Fur you can never tell what turn a nigger's thoughts + will take, once anything at all stirs 'em up. + </p> + <p> + We didn't know them things then, Doctor Kirby and me didn't. We didn't + know we was moving light-hearted right into the middle of the biggest + question that has ever been ast. Which I disremember exactly how that + nigger question is worded, but they is always asting it in the South, and + answering of it different ways. We hadn't no idea how suspicious the white + people in them awful black spots on the map can get over any one that + comes along talking to their niggers. We didn't know anything about + niggers much, being both from the North, except what Doctor Kirby had + counted on when he made his medicine, and THAT he knowed second-handed + from other people. We didn't take 'em very serious, nor all the talk we + hearn about 'em down South. + </p> + <p> + But even at that we mightn't of got into any trouble if it hadn't of been + fur old Bishop Warren. But that is getting ahead of the story. + </p> + <p> + We got into that little town—I might jest as well call it + Cottonville—jest about supper time. Cottonville is a little place of + not more'n six hundred people. I guess four hundred of 'em must be + niggers. + </p> + <p> + After supper we got acquainted with purty nigh all the prominent citizens + in town. They was friendly with us, and we was friendly with them. Georgia + had jest went fur prohibition a few months before that, and they hadn't + opened up these here near-beer bar-rooms in the little towns yet, like + they had in Atlanta and the big towns. Georgia had went prohibition so the + niggers couldn't get whiskey, some said; but others said they didn't know + WHAT its excuse was. Them prominent citizens was loafing around the hotel + and every now and then inviting each other very mysterious into a back + room that use to be a pool parlour. They had been several jugs come to + town by express that day. We went back several times ourselves, and soon + began to get along purty well with them prominent citizens. + </p> + <p> + Talking about this and that they finally edges around to the one thing + everybody is sure to get to talking about sooner or later in the South—niggers. + And then they gets to telling us about this here Bishop Warren I has + mentioned. + </p> + <p> + He was a nigger bishop, Bishop Warren was, and had a good deal of white + blood into him, they say. An ashy-coloured nigger, with bumps on his face, + fat as a possum, and as cunning as a fox. He had plenty of brains into his + head, too; but his brains had turned sour in his head the last few years, + and the bishop had crazy streaks running through his sense now, like fat + and lean mixed in a slab of bacon. He used to be friends with a lot of big + white folks, and the whites depended on him at one time to preach + orderliness and obedience and agriculture and being in their place to the + niggers. Fur years they thought he preached that-a-way. He always DID + preach that-a-way when any whites was around, and he set on platforms + sometimes with white preachers, and he got good donations fur schemes of + different kinds. But gradual the suspicion got around that when he was + alone with a lot of niggers his nigger blood would get the best of him, + and what he preached wasn't white supremacy at all, but hopefulness of + being equal. + </p> + <p> + So the whites had fell away from him, and then his graft was gone, and + then his brains turned sour in his head and got to working and fermenting + in it like cider getting hard, and he made a few bad breaks by not being + careful what he said before white people. But the niggers liked him all + the better fur that. + </p> + <p> + They always had been more or less hell in the bishop's heart. He had + brains and he knowed it, and the white folks had let him see THEY knowed + it, too. And he was part white, and his white forefathers had been big men + in their day, and yet, in spite of all of that, he had to herd with + niggers and to pertend he liked it. He was both white and black in his + feelings about things, so some of his feelings counterdicted others, and + one of these here race riots went on all the time in his own insides. But + gradual he got to the place where they was spells he hated both whites and + niggers, but he hated the whites the worst. And now, in the last two or + three years, since his crazy streaks had growed as big as his sensible + streaks, or bigger, they was no telling what he would preach to them + niggers. But whatever he preached most of them would believe. It might be + something crazy and harmless, or it might be crazy and harmful. + </p> + <p> + He had been holding some revival meetings in nigger churches right there + in that very county, and was at it not fur away from there right then. The + idea had got around he was preaching some most unusual foolishness to the + blacks. Fur the niggers was all acting like they knowed something too good + to mention to the white folks, all about there. But some white men had + gone to one of the meetings, and the bishop had preached one of his + old-time sermons whilst they was there, telling the niggers to be orderly + and agriculturous—he was considerable of a fox yet. But he and the + rest of the niggers was so DERNED anxious to be thought agriculturous and + servitudinous that the whites smelt a rat, and wished he would go, fur + they didn't want to chase him without they had to. + </p> + <p> + Jest when we was getting along fine one of them prominent citizens asts + the doctor was we there figgering on buying some land? + </p> + <p> + "No," says the doctor, "we wasn't." + </p> + <p> + They was silence fur quite a little spell. Each prominent citizen had + mebby had his hopes of unloading some. They all looks a little sad, and + then another prominent citizen asts us into the back room agin. + </p> + <p> + When we returns to the front room another prominent citizen makes a little + speech that was quite beautiful to hear, and says mebby we represents some + new concern that ain't never been in them parts and is figgering on buying + cotton. + </p> + <p> + "No," the doctor says, "we ain't cotton buyers." + </p> + <p> + Another prominent citizen has the idea mebby we is figgering on one of + these here inter-Reuben trolley lines, so the Rubes in one village can + ride over and visit the Rubes in the next. And another one thinks mebby we + is figgering on a telephone line. And each one makes a very eloquent + little speech about them things, and rings in something about our fair + Southland. And when both of them misses their guess it is time fur another + visit to the back room. + </p> + <p> + Was we selling something? + </p> + <p> + We was. + </p> + <p> + Was we selling fruit trees? + </p> + <p> + We wasn't. + </p> + <p> + Finally, after every one has a chew of natcheral leaf tobaccer all around, + one prominent citizen makes so bold as to ast us very courteous if he + might enquire what it was we was selling. + </p> + <p> + The doctor says medicine. + </p> + <p> + Then they was a slow grin went around that there crowd of prominent + citizens. And once agin we has to make a trip to that back room. Fur they + are all sure we must be taking orders fur something to beat that there + prohibition game. When they misses that guess they all gets kind of + thoughtful and sad. A couple of 'em don't take no more interest in us, but + goes along home sighing-like, as if it wasn't no difference WHAT we sold + as long as it wasn't what they was looking fur. + </p> + <p> + But purty soon one of them asts: + </p> + <p> + "What KIND of medicine?" + </p> + <p> + The doctor, he tells about it. + </p> + <p> + When he finishes you never seen such a change as had come onto the faces + of that bunch. I never seen such disgusted prominent citizens in my hull + life. They looked at each other embarrassed, like they had been ketched at + something ornery. And they went out one at a time, saying good night to + the hotel-keeper and in the most pinted way taking no notice of us at all. + It certainly was a chill. We sees something is wrong, and we begins to + have a notion of what it is. + </p> + <p> + The hotel-keeper, he spits out his chew, and goes behind his little + counter and takes a five-cent cigar out of his little show case and bites + the end off careful. Then he leans his elbows onto his counter and reads + our names to himself out of the register book, and looks at us, and from + us to the names, and from the names to us, like he is trying to figger out + how he come to let us write 'em there. Then he wants to know where we come + from before we come to Atlanta, where we had registered from. We tells him + we is from the North. He lights his cigar like he didn't think much of + that cigar and sticks it in his mouth and looks at us so long in an + absent-minded kind of way it goes out. + </p> + <p> + Then he says we orter go back North. + </p> + <p> + "Why?" asts the doctor. + </p> + <p> + He chewed his cigar purty nigh up to the middle of it before he answered, + and when he spoke it was a soft kind of a drawl—not mad or loud—but + like they was sorrowful thoughts working in him. + </p> + <p> + "Yo' all done struck the wo'st paht o' the South to peddle yo' niggah + medicine in, sah. I reckon yo' must love 'em a heap to be that concerned + over the colour of their skins." + </p> + <p> + And he turned his back on us and went into the back room all by himself. + </p> + <p> + We seen we was in wrong in that town. The doctor says it will be no use + trying to interduce our stuff there, and we might as well leave there in + the morning and go over to Bairdstown, which was a little place about ten + miles off the railroad, and make our start there. + </p> + <p> + So we got a rig the next morning and drove acrost the country. No one bid + us good-bye, neither, and Doctor Kirby says it's a wonder they rented us + the rig. + </p> + <p> + But before we started that morning we noticed a funny thing. We hadn't so + much as spoke to any nigger, except our own nigger Sam, and he couldn't of + told ALL the niggers in that town about the stuff to turn niggers white, + even if he had set up all night to do it. But every last nigger we saw + looked like he knowed something about us. Even after we left town our + nigger driver hailed two or three niggers in the road that acted + that-away. It seemed like they was all awful polite to us. And yet they + was different in their politeness than they was to them Georgia folks, + which is their natcheral-born bosses—acted more familiar, somehow, + as if they knowed we must be thinking about the same thing they was + thinking about. + </p> + <p> + About half-way to Bairdstown we stopped at a place to get a drink of + water. Seemingly the white folks was away fur the day, and an old nigger + come up and talked to our driver while Sam and us was at the well. + </p> + <p> + I seen them cutting their eyes at us, whilst they was unchecking the + hosses to let them drink too, and then I hearn the one that belonged there + say: + </p> + <p> + "Is yo' SUAH dat hit air dem?" + </p> + <p> + "SUAH!" says the driver. + </p> + <p> + "How-come yo' so all-powerful SUAH about hit?" + </p> + <p> + The driver pertended the harness needed some fixing, and they went around + to the other side of the team and tinkered with one of the traces, + a-talking to each other. I hearn the old nigger say, kind of wonderized: + </p> + <p> + "Is dey a-gwine dar NOW?" + </p> + <p> + Sam, he was pulling a bucket of water up out of the well fur us with a + windlass. The doctor says to him: + </p> + <p> + "Sam, what does all this mean?" + </p> + <p> + Sam, he pertends he don't know what the doctor is talking about. But + Doctor Kirby he finally pins him down. Sam hemmed and hawed considerable, + making up his mind whether he better lie to us or not. Then, all of a + sudden, he busted out into an awful fit of laughing, and like to of fell + in the well. Seemingly he decided fur to tell us the truth. + </p> + <p> + From what Sam says that there bishop has been holding revival meetings in + Big Bethel, which is a nigger church right on the edge of Bairdstown, and + niggers fur miles around has been coming night after night, and some of + them whooping her up daytimes too. And the bishop has worked himself up + the last three or four nights to where he has been perdicting and + prophesying, fur the spirit has hit the meeting hard. + </p> + <p> + What he has been prophesying, Sam says, is the coming of a Messiah fur the + nigger race—a new Elishyah, he says, as will lead them from out'n + their inequality and bring 'em up to white standards right on the spot. + The whites has had their Messiah, the bishop says, but the niggers ain't + never had none of their SPECIAL OWN yet. And they needs one bad, and one + is sure a-coming. + </p> + <p> + It seems the whites don't know yet jest what the bishop's been + a-preaching. But every nigger fur miles on every side of Big Bethel is + a-listening and a-looking fur signs and omens, and has been fur two, three + days now. This here half-crazy bishop has got 'em worked up to where they + is ready to believe anything, or do anything. + </p> + <p> + So the night before when the word got out in Cottonville that we had some + scheme to make the niggers white, the niggers there took up with the idea + that the doctor was mebby the feller the bishop had been prophesying + about, and for a sign and a omen and a miracle of his grace and powers was + going out to Big Bethel to turn 'em white. Poor devils, they didn't see + but what being turned white orter be a part of what they was to get from + the coming of that there Messiah. + </p> + <p> + News spreads among niggers quicker than among whites. No one knows how + they do it. But I've hearn tales about how when war times was there, they + would frequent have the news of a big fight before the white folks' papers + would. Soldiers has told me that in them there Philippine Islands we + conquered from Spain, where they is so much nigger blood mixed up with + other kinds in the islanders, this mysterious spreading around of news is + jest the same. And jest since nine o'clock the night before, the news had + spread fur miles around that Bishop Warren's Messiah was on his way, and + was going fur to turn the bishop white to show his power and grace, and he + had with him one he had turned part white, and that was Sam, and one he + had turned clear white, and that was me. And they was to be signs and + wonders to behold at Big Bethel, with pillars of cloud and sounds of + trumpets and fire squirting down from heaven, like it always use to be in + them old Bible days, and them there niggers to be led singing and shouting + and rejoicing into a land of milk and honey, forevermore, AMEN! + </p> + <p> + That's what Sam says they are looking fur, dozens and scores and hundreds + of them niggers round about. Sam, he had lived in town five or six years, + and he looked down on all these here ignoramus country niggers. So he + busts out laughing at first, and he pertends like he don't take no stock + in any of it. Besides, he knowed well enough he wasn't spotted up by no + Messiah, but it was the dope in the bottles done it. But as he told about + them goings-on Sam got more and more interested and warmed up to it, and + his voice went into a kind of a sing-song like he was prophesying himself. + And the other two niggers quit pertending to fool around the team and + edged a little closeter, and a little closeter yet, with their mouths open + and their heads a-nodding and the whites of their eyes a-rolling. + </p> + <p> + Fur my part, I never hearn such a lot of dern foolishness in all my life. + But the doctor, he says nothing at all. He listens to Sam ranting and + rolling out big words and raving, and only frowns. He climbs back into the + buggy agin silent, and all the rest of the way to Bairdstown he set there + with that scowl on his face. I guesses he was thinking now, the way things + had shaped up, he wouldn't sell none of his stuff at all without he fell + right in with the reception chance had planned fur him. But if he did fall + in with it, and pertend like he was a Messiah to them niggers, he could + get all they had. He was mebby thinking how much ornerier that would make + the hull scheme. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link2HCH0017" id="link2HCH0017"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + CHAPTER XVII + </h2> + <p> + We got to Bairdstown early enough, but we didn't go to work there. We + wasted all that day. They was something working in the doctor's head he + wasn't talking about. I supposed he was getting cold feet on the hull + proposition. Anyhow, he jest set around the little tavern in that place + and done nothing all afternoon. + </p> + <p> + The weather was fine, and we set out in front. We hadn't set there more'n + an hour till I could tell we was being noticed by the blacks, not out open + and above board. But every now and then one or two or three would pass + along down the street, and lazy about and take a look at us. They + pertended they wasn't noticing, but they was. The word had got around, and + they was a feeling in the air I didn't like at all. Too much caged-up + excitement among the niggers. The doctor felt it too, I could see that. + But neither one of us said anything about it to the other. + </p> + <p> + Along toward dusk we takes a walk. They was a good-sized crick at the edge + of that little place, and on it an old-fashioned worter mill. Above the + mill a little piece was a bridge. We crossed it and walked along a road + that follered the crick bank closte fur quite a spell. + </p> + <p> + It wasn't much of a town—something betwixt a village and a + settlement—although they was going to run a branch of the railroad + over to it before very long. It had had a chancet to get a railroad once, + years before that. But it had said then it didn't want no railroad. So + until lately every branch built through that part of the country grinned + very sarcastic and give it the go-by. + </p> + <p> + They was considerable woods standing along the crick, and around a turn in + the road we come onto Sam, all of a sudden, talking with another nigger. + Sam was jest a-laying it off to that nigger, but he kind of hushed as we + come nearer. Down the road quite a little piece was a good-sized wooden + building that never had been painted and looked like it was a big barn. + Without knowing it the doctor and me had been pinting ourselves right + toward Big Bethel. + </p> + <p> + The nigger with Sam he yells out, when he sees us: + </p> + <p> + "Glory be! HYAH dey comes! Hyah dey comes NOW!" + </p> + <p> + And he throwed up his arms, and started on a lope up the road toward the + church, singing out every ten or fifteen yards. A little knot of niggers + come out in front of the church when they hearn him coming. + </p> + <p> + Sam, he stood his ground, and waited fur us to come up to him, kind of + apologetic and sneaking—looking about something or other. + </p> + <p> + "What kind of lies have you been telling these niggers, Sam?" says the + doctor, very sharp and short and mad-like. + </p> + <p> + Sam, he digs a stone out'n the road with the toe of his shoe, and kind of + grins to himself, still looking sheepish. But he says he opinionates he + been telling them nothing at all. + </p> + <p> + "I dunno how-come dey get all dem nigger notions in dey fool haid," Sam + says, "but dey all waitin' dar inside de chu'ch do'—some of de mos' + faiful an' de mos' pra'rful ones o' de Big Bethel cong'gation been dar fo' + de las' houah a-waitin' an' a-watchin', spite o' de fac' dat reg'lah + meetin' ain't gwine ter be called twell arter supper. De bishop, he dar + too. Dey got some dese hyah coal-ile lamps dar des inside de chu'ch do' + an' dey been keepin' on 'em lighted, daytimes an' night times, fo' two + days now, kaze dey say dey ain't gwine fo' ter be cotched napping when de + bridegroom COMeth. Yass, SAH!—dey's ten o' dese hyah vergims dar, + five of 'em sleepin' an' five of 'em watchin', an' a-takin' tuhns at hit, + an' mebby dat how-come free or fouah dey bes' young colo'hed mens been + projickin' aroun' dar all arternoon, a-helpin' dem dat's a-waitin' twell + de bridegroom COM eth!" + </p> + <p> + We seen a little knot of them, down the road there in front of the church, + gathering around the nigger that had been with Sam. They all starts toward + us. But one man steps out in front of them all, and turns toward them and + holds his hands up, and waves them back. They all stops in their tracks. + </p> + <p> + Then he turns his face toward us, and comes slow and sollum down the road + in our direction, walking with a cane, and moving very dignified. He was a + couple of hundred yards away. + </p> + <p> + But as he come closeter we gradually seen him plainer and plainer. He was + a big man, and stout, and dressed very neat in the same kind of rig as + white bishops wear, with one of these white collars that buttons in the + back. I suppose he was coming on to meet us alone, because no one was + fitten fur to give us the first welcome but himself. + </p> + <p> + Well, it was all dern foolishness, and it was hard to believe it could all + happen, and they ain't so many places in this here country it COULD + happen. But fur all of it being foolishness, when he come down the road + toward us so dignified and sollum and slow I ketched myself fur a minute + feeling like we really had been elected to something and was going to take + office soon. And Sam, as the bishop come closeter and closeter, got to + jerking and twitching with the excitement that he had been keeping in—and + yet all the time Sam knowed it was dope and works and not faith that had + made him spotted that-a-way. + </p> + <p> + He stops, the bishop does, about ten yards from us and looks us over. + </p> + <p> + "Ah yo' de gennleman known ter dis hyah sinful genehation by de style an' + de entitlemint o' Docto' Hahtley Kirby?" he asts the doctor very + ceremonious and grand. + </p> + <p> + The doctor give him a look that wasn't very encouraging, but he nodded to + him. + </p> + <p> + "Will yo' dismiss yo' sehvant in ordeh dat we kin hol' convehse an' + communion in de midst er privacy?" + </p> + <p> + The doctor, he nods to Sam, and Sam moseys along toward the church. + </p> + <p> + "Now, then," says the doctor, sudden and sharp, "take off your hat and + tell me what you want." + </p> + <p> + The bishop's hand goes up to his head with a jerk before he thought. Then + it stops there, while him and the doctor looks at each other. The bishop's + mouth opens like he was wondering, but he slowly pulls his hat off and + stands there bare-headed in the road. But he wasn't really humble, that + bishop. + </p> + <p> + "Now," says the doctor, "tell me in as straight talk as you've got what + all this damned foolishness among you niggers means." + </p> + <p> + A queer kind of look passed over the bishop's face. He hadn't expected to + be met jest that way, mebby. Whether he himself had really believed in the + coming of that there new Messiah he had been perdicting, I never could + settle in my mind. Mebby he had been getting ready to pass HIMSELF off fur + one before we come along and the niggers all got the fool idea Doctor + Kirby was it. Before the bishop spoke agin you could see his craziness and + his cunningness both working in his face. But when he did speak he didn't + quit being ceremonious nor dignified. + </p> + <p> + "De wohd has gone fo'th among de faiful an' de puah in heaht," he says, + "dat er man has come accredited wi' signs an' wi' mahvels an' de poweh o' + de sperrit fo' to lay his han' on de sons o' Ham an' ter make 'em des de + same in colluh as de yuther sons of ea'th." + </p> + <p> + "Then that word is a lie," says the doctor. "I DID come here to try out + some stuff to change the colour of negro skins. That's all. And I find + your idiotic followers are all stirred up and waiting for some kind of a + miracle monger. What you have been preaching to them, you know best. Is + that all you want to know?" + </p> + <p> + The bishop hems and haws and fiddles with his stick, and then he says: + </p> + <p> + "Suh, will dish yeah prepa'shun SHO'LY do de wohk?" Doctor Kirby tells him + it will do the work all right. + </p> + <p> + And then the bishop, after beating around the bush some more, comes out + with his idea. Whether he expected there would be any Messiah come or not, + of course he knowed the doctor wasn't him. But he is willing to boost the + doctor's game as long as it boosts HIS game. He wants to be in on the + deal. He wants part of the graft. He wants to get together with the doctor + on a plan before the doctor sees the niggers. And if the doctor don't want + to keep on with the miracle end of it, the bishop shows him how he could + do him good with no miracle attachment. Fur he has an awful holt on them + niggers, and his say-so will sell thousands and thousands of bottles. What + he is looking fur jest now is his little take-out. + </p> + <p> + That was his craftiness and his cunningness working in him. But all of a + sudden one of his crazy streaks come bulging to the surface. It come with + a wild, eager look in his eyes. + </p> + <p> + "Suh," he cries out, all of a sudden, "ef yo' kin make me white, fo' Gawd + sakes, do hit! Do hit! Ef yo' does, I gwine ter bless yo' all yo' days! + </p> + <p> + "Yo' don' know—no one kin guess or comperhen'—what des bein' + white would mean ter me! Lawd! Lawd!" he says, his voice soft-spoken, but + more eager than ever as he went on, and pleading something pitiful to + hear, "des think of all de Caucasian blood in me! Gawd knows de nights er + my youth I'se laid awake twell de dawn come red in de Eas' a-cryin' out + ter Him only fo' ter be white! DES TER BE WHITE! Don' min' dem black, + black niggers dar—don' think er DEM—dey ain't wuth nothin' nor + fitten fo' no fate but what dey got— But me! What's done kep' me + from gwine ter de top but dat one thing: <i>I</i> WASN'T WHITE! Hit air + too late now—too late fo' dem ambitions I done trifle with an' shove + behin' me—hit's too late fo' dat! But ef I was des ter git one li'l + year o' hit—ONE LI'L YEAR O' BEIN' WHITE!—befo' I died—" + </p> + <p> + And he went on like that, shaking and stuttering there in the road, like a + fit had struck him, crazy as a loon. But he got hold of himself enough to + quit talking, in a minute, and his cunning come back to him before he was + through trembling. Then the doctor says slow and even, but not severe: + </p> + <p> + "You go back to your people now, bishop, and tell them they've made a + mistake about me. And if you can, undo the harm you've done with this + Messiah business. As far as this stuff of mine is concerned, there's none + of it for you nor for any other negro. You tell them that. There's none of + it been sold yet—and there never will be." + </p> + <p> + Then we turned away and left him standing there in the road, still with + his hat off and his face working. + </p> + <p> + Walking back toward the little tavern the doctor says: + </p> + <p> + "Danny, this is the end of this game. These people down here and that + half-cracked, half-crooked old bishop have made me see a few things about + the Afro-American brother. It wasn't a good scheme in the first place. And + this wasn't the place to start it going, anyhow—I should have tried + the niggers in the big towns. But I'm out of it now, and I'm glad of it. + What we want to do is to get away from here to-morrow—go back to + Atlanta and fix up a scheme to rob some widows and orphans, or something + half-way respectable like that." + </p> + <p> + Well, I drew a long breath. I was with Doctor Kirby in everything he done, + fur he was my friend, and I didn't intend to quit him. But I was glad we + was out of this, and hadn't sold none of that dope. We both felt better + because we hadn't. All them millions we was going to make—shucks! We + didn't neither one of us give a dern about them getting away from us. All + we wanted was jest to get away from there and not get mixed up with no + nigger problems any more. We eat supper, and we set around a while, and we + went to bed purty middling early, so as to get a good start in the + morning. + </p> + <p> + We got up early, but early as it was the devil had been up earlier in that + neighbourhood. About four o'clock that morning a white woman about a half + a mile from the village had been attacked by a nigger. They was doubt as + to whether she would live, but if she lived they wasn't no doubts she + would always be more or less crazy. Fur besides everything else, he had + beat her insensible. And he had choked her nearly to death. The + country-side was up, with guns and pistols looking fur that nigger. It + wasn't no trouble guessing what would happen to him when they ketched him, + neither. + </p> + <p> + "And," says Doctor Kirby, when we hearn of it, "I hope to high heaven they + DO catch him!" + </p> + <p> + They wasn't much doubt they would, either. They was already beating up the + woods and bushes and gangs was riding up and down the roads, and every + nigger's house fur miles around was being searched and watched. + </p> + <p> + We soon seen we would have trouble getting hosses and a rig in the village + to take us to the railroad. Many of the hosses was being ridden in the + man-hunt. And most of the men who might have done the driving was busy at + that too. The hotel-keeper himself had left his place standing wide open + and went out. We didn't get any breakfast neither. + </p> + <p> + "Danny," says the doctor, "we'll just put enough money to pay the bill in + an envelope on the register here, and strike out on shank's ponies. It's + only nine or ten miles to the railroad—we'll walk." + </p> + <p> + "But how about our stuff?" I asts him. We had two big cases full of sample + bottles of that dope, besides our suit cases. + </p> + <p> + "Hang the dope!" says the doctor, "I don't ever want to see it or hear of + it again! We'll leave it here. Put the things out of your suit case into + mine, and leave that here too. Sam can carry mine. I want to be on the + move." + </p> + <p> + So we left, with Sam carrying the one suit case. It wasn't nine in the + morning yet, and we was starting out purty empty fur a long walk. + </p> + <p> + "Sam," says the doctor, as we was passing that there Big Bethel church—and + it showed up there silent and shabby in the morning, like a old coloured + man that knows a heap more'n he's going to tell—"Sam, were you at + the meeting here last night?" + </p> + <p> + "Yass, suh!" + </p> + <p> + "I suppose it was a pretty tame affair after they found out their Elisha + wasn't coming after all?" + </p> + <p> + Sam, he walled his eyes, and then he kind of chuckled. + </p> + <p> + "Well, suh," he says, "I 'spicions de mos' on 'em don' know dat YIT!" + </p> + <p> + The doctor asts him what he means. + </p> + <p> + It seems the bishop must of done some thinking after we left him in the + road or on his way back to that church. They had all begun to believe that + there Elishyah was on the way to 'em, and the bishop's credit was more or + less wrapped up with our being it. It was true he hadn't started that + belief; but it was believed, and he didn't dare to stop it now. Fur, if he + stopped it, they would all think he had fell down on his prophetics, even + although he hadn't prophesied jest exactly us. He was in a tight place, + that bishop, but I bet you could always depend on him to get out of it + with his flock. So what he told them niggers at the meeting last night was + that he brung 'em a message from Elishyah, Sam says, the Elishyah that was + to come. And the message was that the time was not ripe fur him to reveal + himself as Elishyah unto the eyes of all men, fur they had been too much + sinfulness and wickedness and walking into the ways of evil, right amongst + that very congregation, and disobedience of the bishop, which was their + guide. And he had sent 'em word, Elishyah had, that the bishop was his + trusted servant, and into the keeping of the bishop was give the power to + deal with his people and prepare them fur the great day to come. And the + bishop would give the word of his coming. He was a box, that bishop was, + in spite of his crazy streaks; and he had found a way to make himself + stronger than ever with his bunch out of the very kind of thing that would + have spoiled most people's graft. They had had a big meeting till nearly + morning, and the power had hit 'em strong. Sam told us all about it. + </p> + <p> + But the thing that seemed to interest the doctor, and made him frown, was + the idea that all them niggers round about there still had the idea he was + the feller that had been prophesied to come. All except Sam, mebby. Sam + had spells when he was real sensible, and other spells when he was as bad + as the believingest of them all. + </p> + <p> + It was a fine day, and really joyous to be a-walking. It would of been a + good deal joyouser if we had had some breakfast, but we figgered we would + stop somewheres at noon and lay in a good, square, country meal. + </p> + <p> + That wasn't such a very thick settled country. But everybody seemed to + know about the manhunt that was going on, here, there, and everywhere. + People would come down to the road side as we passed, and gaze after us. + Or mebby ast us if we knowed whether he had been ketched yet. Women and + kids mostly, or old men, but now and then a younger man too. We noticed + they wasn't no niggers to speak of that wasn't busier'n all get out, + working at something or other, that day. + </p> + <p> + They is considerable woods in that country yet, though lots has been cut + off. But they was sometimes right long stretches where they would be woods + on both sides of the road, more or less thick, with underbrush between the + trees. We tramped along, each busy thinking his own thoughts, and having a + purty good time jest doing that without there being no use of talking. I + was thinking that I liked the doctor better fur turning his back on all + this game, jest when he might of made some sort of a deal with the bishop + and really made some money out of it in the end. He never was so good a + business man as he thought he was, Doctor Kirby wasn't. He always could + make himself think he was. But when it come right down to brass tacks he + wasn't. You give him a scheme that would TALK well, the kind of a josh + talk he liked to get off fur his own enjoyment, and he would take up with + it every time instead of one that had more promise of money to it if it + was worked harder. He was thinking of the TALK more'n he was of the money, + mostly; and he was always saying something about art fur art's sake, which + was plumb foolishness, fur he never painted no pictures. Well, he never + got over being more or less of a puzzle to me. But fur some reason or + other this morning he seemed to be in a better humour with himself, after + we had walked a while, than I had seen him in fur a long time. + </p> + <p> + We come to the top of one long hill, which it had made us sweat to climb, + and without saying nothing to each other we both stopped and took off our + hats and wiped our foreheads, and drawed long breaths, content to stand + there fur jest a minute or two and look around us. The road run straight + ahead, and dipped down, and then clumb up another hill about an eighth of + a mile in front of us. It made a little valley. Jest about the middle, + between the two hills, a crick meandered through the bottom land. Woods + growed along the crick, and along both sides of the road we was + travelling. Right nigh the crick they was another road come out of the + woods to the left-hand side, and switched into the road we was travelling, + and used the same bridge to cross the crick by. They was three or four + houses here and there, with chimbleys built up on the outside of them, and + blue smoke coming out. We stood and looked at the sight before us and + forgot all the troubles we had left behind, fur a couple of minutes—it + all looked so peaceful and quiet and homeyfied and nice. + </p> + <p> + "Well," says the doctor, after we had stood there a piece, "I guess we + better be moving on again, Danny." + </p> + <p> + But jest as Sam, who was follering along behind with that suit case, picks + it up and puts it on his head agin, they come a sound, from away off in + the distance somewheres, that made him set it down quick. And we all stops + in our tracks and looks at each other. + </p> + <p> + It was the voice of a hound dog—not so awful loud, but clear and + mellow and tuneful, and carried to us on the wind. And then in a minute it + come agin, sharper and quicker. They yells like that when they have struck + a scent. + </p> + <p> + As we stood and looked at each other they come a crackle in the + underbrush, jest to the left of us. We turned our heads that-a-way, jest + as a nigger man give a leap to the top of a rail fence that separated the + road from the woods. He was going so fast that instead of climbing that + fence and balancing on the top and jumping off he jest simply seemed to + hit the top rail and bounce on over, like he had been throwed out of the + heart of the woods, and he fell sprawling over and over in the road, right + before our feet. + </p> + <p> + He was onto his feet in a second, and fur a minute he stood up straight + and looked at us—an ashes-coloured nigger, ragged and bleeding from + the underbrush, red-eyed, and with slavers trickling from his red lips, + and sobbing and gasping and panting fur breath. Under his brown skin, + where his shirt was torn open acrost his chest, you could see that + nigger's heart a-beating. + </p> + <p> + But as he looked at us they come a sudden change acrost his face—he + must of seen the doctor before, and with a sob he throwed himself on his + knees in the road and clasped his hands and held 'em out toward Doctor + Kirby. + </p> + <p> + "ELISHyah! ELISHyah!" he sings out, rocking of his body in a kind of tune, + "reveal yo'se'f, reveal yo'se'f an' he'p me NOW! Lawd Gawd ELISHyah, + beckon fo' a CHA'iot, yo' cha'iot of FIAH! Lif' me, lif' me—lif' me + away f'um hyah in er cha'iot o' FIAH!" + </p> + <p> + The doctor, he turned his head away, and I knowed the thought working in + him was the thought of that white woman that would always be an idiot for + life, if she lived. But his lips was dumb, and his one hand stretched + itself out toward that nigger in the road and made a wiping motion, like + he was trying fur to wipe the picture of him, and the thought of him, + off'n a slate forevermore. + </p> + <p> + Jest then, nearer and louder and sharper, and with an eager sound, like + they knowed they almost had him now, them hounds' voices come ringing + through the woods, and with them come the mixedup shouts of men. + </p> + <p> + "RUN!" yells Sam, waving of that suit case round his head, fur one nigger + will always try to help another no matter what he's done. "Run fo' de + branch—git yo' foots in de worter an' fling 'em off de scent!" + </p> + <p> + He bounded down the hill, that red-eyed nigger, and left us standing + there. But before he reached the crick the whole man-hunt come busting + through the woods, the dogs a-straining at their straps. The men was all + on foot, with guns and pistols in their hands. They seen the nigger, and + they all let out a yell, and was after him. They ketched him at the crick, + and took him off along that road that turned off to the left. I hearn + later he was a member of Bishop Warren's congregation, so they hung him + right in front of Big Bethel church. + </p> + <p> + We stood there on top of the hill and saw the chase and capture. Doctor + Kirby's face was sweating worse than when we first clumb the hill. He was + thinking about that nigger that had pleaded with him. He was thinking also + of the woman. He was glad it hadn't been up to him personal right then and + there to butt in and stop a lynching. He was glad, fur with them two + pictures in front of him he didn't know what he would of done. + </p> + <p> + "Thank heaven!" I hearn him say to himself. "Thank heaven that it wasn't + REALLY in my power to choose!" + </p> + <p> + <a name="link2HCH0018" id="link2HCH0018"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + CHAPTER XVIII + </h2> + <p> + Well, we had pork and greens fur dinner that day, with the best corn-bread + I ever eat anywheres, and buttermilk, and sweet potato pie. We got 'em at + the house of a feller named Withers—Old Daddy Withers. Which if they + was ever a nicer old man than him, or a nicer old woman than his wife, I + never run acrost 'em yet. + </p> + <p> + They lived all alone, them Witherses, with only a couple of niggers to + help them run their farm. After we eats our dinner and Sam gets his'n out + to the kitchen, we sets out in front of the house and gets to talking with + them, and gets real well acquainted. Which we soon found out the secret of + old Daddy Withers's life—that there innocent-looking old jigger was + a poet. He was kind of proud of it and kind of shamed of it both to oncet. + The way it come out was when the doctor says one of them quotations he is + always getting off, and the old man he looks pleased and says the rest of + the piece it dropped out of straight through. + </p> + <p> + Then they had a great time quoting it at each other, them two, and I seen + the doctor is good to loaf around there the rest of the day, like as not. + Purty soon the old lady begins to get mighty proud-looking over something + or other, and she leans over and whispers to the old man: + </p> + <p> + "Shall I bring it out, Lemuel?" + </p> + <p> + The old man, he shakes his head, no. But she slips into the house anyhow, + and fetches out a little book with a pale green cover to it, and hands it + to the doctor. + </p> + <p> + "Bless my soul," says Doctor Kirby, looking at the old man, "you don't + mean to say you write verse yourself?" + </p> + <p> + The old man, he gets red all over his face, and up into the roots of his + white hair, and down into his white beard, and makes believe he is a + little mad at the old lady fur showing him off that-a-way. + </p> + <p> + "Mother," he says, "yo' shouldn't have done that!" They had had a boy + years before, and he had died, but he always called her mother the same as + if the boy was living. He goes into the house and gets his pipe, and + brings it out and lights it, acting like that book of poetry was a mighty + small matter to him. But he looks at Doctor Kirby out of the corner of his + eyes, and can't keep from getting sort of eager and trembly with his pipe; + and I could see he was really anxious over what the doctor was thinking of + them poems he wrote. The doctor reads some of 'em out loud. + </p> + <p> + Well, it was kind of home-made poetry, Old Daddy Withers's was. It wasn't + like no other poetry I ever struck. And I could tell the doctor was + thinking the same about it. It sounded somehow like it hadn't been jointed + together right. You would keep listening fur it to rhyme, and get all + worked up watching and waiting fur it to, and make bets with yourself + whether it would rhyme or it wouldn't. And then it ginerally wouldn't. I + never hearn such poetry to get a person's expectances all worked up, and + then go back on 'em. But if you could of told what it was all about, you + wouldn't of minded that so much. Not that you can tell what most poetry is + about, but you don't care so long as it keeps hopping along lively. What + you want in poetry to make her sound good, according to my way of + thinking, is to make her jump lively, and then stop with a bang on the + rhymes. But Daddy Withers was so independent-like he would jest + natcherally try to force two words to rhyme whether the Lord made 'em fur + mates or not—like as if you would try to make a couple of kids kiss + and make up by bumping their heads together. They jest simply won't do it. + But Doctor Kirby, he let on like he thought it was fine poetry, and he + read them pieces over and over agin, out loud, and the old man and the old + woman was both mighty tickled with the way he done it. He wouldn't of had + 'em know fur anything he didn't believe it was the finest poetry ever + wrote, Doctor Kirby wouldn't. + </p> + <p> + They was four little books of it altogether. Slim books that looked as if + they hadn't had enough to eat, like a stray cat whose ribs is rubbing + together. It had cost Daddy Withers five hundred dollars apiece to get 'em + published. A feller in Boston charged him that much, he said. It seems he + would go along fur years, raking and scraping of his money together, so as + to get enough ahead to get out another book. Each time he had his hopes + the big newspapers would mebby pay some attention to it, and he would get + recognized. + </p> + <p> + "But they never did," said the old man, kind of sad, "it always fell + flat." + </p> + <p> + "Why, FATHER!"—the old lady begins, and finishes by running back + into the house agin. She is out in a minute with a clipping from a + newspaper and hands it over to Doctor Kirby, as proud as a kid with + copper-toed boots. The doctor reads it all the way through, and then he + hands it back without saying a word. The old lady goes away to fiddle + around about the housework purty soon and the old man looks at the doctor + and says: + </p> + <p> + "Well, you see, don't you?" + </p> + <p> + "Yes," says the doctor, very gentle. + </p> + <p> + "I wouldn't have HER know for the world," says Daddy Withers. "<i>I</i> + know and YOU know that newspaper piece is just simply poking fun at my + poetry, and making a fool of me, the whole way through. As soon as I read + it over careful I saw it wasn't really praise, though there was a minute + or two I thought my recognition had come. But SHE don't know it ain't + serious from start to finish. SHE was all-mighty pleased when that piece + come out in print. And I don't intend she ever shall know it ain't real + praise." + </p> + <p> + His wife was so proud when that piece come out in that New York paper, he + said, she cried over it. She said now she was glad they had been doing + without things fur years and years so they could get them little books + printed, one after the other, fur now fame was coming. But sometimes, + Daddy Withers says, he suspicions she really knows he has been made a fool + of, and is pertending not to see it, fur his sake, the same as he is + pertending fur HER sake. Well, they was a mighty nice old couple, and the + doctor done a heap of pertending fur both their sakes—they wasn't + nothing else to do. + </p> + <p> + "How'd you come to get started at it?" he asts. + </p> + <p> + Daddy Withers says he don't rightly know. Mebby, he says, it was living + there all his life and watching things growing—watching the cotton + grow, and the corn and getting acquainted with birds and animals and trees + and things. Helping of things to grow, he says, is a good way to + understand how God must feel about humans. For what you plant and help to + grow, he says, you are sure to get to caring a heap about. You can't help + it. And that is the reason, he says, God can be depended on to pull the + human race through in the end, even if appearances do look to be agin His + doing it sometimes, fur He started it to growing in the first place and + that-a-way He got interested personal in it. And that is the main idea, he + says, he has all the time been trying to get into that there poetry of + his'n. But he reckons he ain't got her in. Leastways, he says, no one has + never seen her there but the doctor and the old lady and himself. Well, + for my part, I never would of seen it there myself, but when he said it + out plain like that any one could of told what he meant. + </p> + <p> + You hadn't orter lay things up agin folks if the folks can't help 'em. And + I will say Daddy Withers was a fine old boy in spite of his poetry. Which + it never really done any harm, except being expensive to him, and lots + will drink that much up and never figger it an expense, but one of the + necessities of life. We went all over his place with him, and we noticed + around his house a lot of tin cans tacked up to posts and trees. They was + fur the birds to drink out of, and all the birds around there had found + out about it, and about Daddy Withers, and wasn't scared of him at all. He + could get acquainted with animals, too, so that after a long spell + sometimes they would even let him handle them. But not if any one was + around. They was a crow he had made a pet of, used to hop around in front + of him, and try fur to talk to him. If he went to sleep in the front yard + whilst he was reading, that crow had a favourite trick of stealing his + spectacles off'n his nose and flying up to the ridgepole of the house, and + cawing at him. Once he had been setting out a row of tomato plants very + careful, and he got to the end of the row and turned around, and that + there crow had been hopping along behind very sollum, pulling up each + plant as he set it out. It acted like it had done something mighty smart, + and knowed it, that crow. So after that the old man named him Satan, fur + he said it was Satan's trick to keep things from growing. They was some + blue and white pigeons wasn't scared to come and set on his shoulders; but + you could see the old man really liked that crow Satan better'n any of + them. + </p> + <p> + Well, we hung around all afternoon listening to the old man talk, and + liking him better and better. First thing we knowed it was getting along + toward supper time. And nothing would do but we must stay to supper, too. + We was pinted toward a place on the railroad called Smithtown, but when we + found we couldn't get a train from there till ten o'clock that night + anyhow, and it was only three miles away, we said we'd stay. + </p> + <p> + After supper we calculated we'd better move. But the old man wouldn't hear + of us walking that three miles. So about eight o'clock he hitched up a + mule to a one-hoss wagon, and we jogged along. + </p> + <p> + They was a yaller moon sneaking up over the edge of the world when we + started. It was so low down in the sky yet that it threw long shadders on + the road, and they was thick and black ones, too. Because they was a lot + of trees alongside the road, and the road was narrow, we went ahead mostly + through the darkness, with here and there patches of moonlight splashed + onto the ground. Doctor Kirby and Old Man Withers was setting on the seat, + still gassing away about books and things, and I was setting on the suit + case in the wagon box right behind 'em. Sam, he was sometimes in the back + of the wagon. He had been more'n half asleep all afternoon, but now it was + night he was waked up, the way niggers and cats will do, and every once in + a while he would get out behind and cut a few capers in a moonlight patch, + jest fur the enjoyment of it, and then run and ketch up with the wagon and + crawl in agin, fur it was going purty slow. + </p> + <p> + The ground was sandy in spots, and I guess we made a purty good load fur + Beck, the old mule. She stopped, going up a little slope, after we had + went about a mile from the Witherses'. Sam says he'll get out and walk, + fur the wheels was in purty deep, and it was hard going. + </p> + <p> + "Giddap, Beck!" says the old man. + </p> + <p> + But Beck, she won't. She don't stand like she is stuck, neither, but like + she senses danger somewheres about. A hoss might go ahead into danger, but + a mule is more careful of itself and never goes butting in unless it feels + sure they is a way out. + </p> + <p> + "Giddap," says the old man agin. + </p> + <p> + But jest then the shadders on both sides of the road comes to life. They + wakes up, and moves all about us. It was done so sudden and quiet it was + half a minute before I seen it wasn't shadders but about thirty men had + gathered all about us on every side. They had guns. + </p> + <p> + "Who are you? What d'ye want?" asts the old man, startled, as three or + four took care of the mule's head very quick and quiet. + </p> + <p> + "Don't be skeered, Daddy Withers," says a drawly voice out of the dark; + "we ain't goin' to hurt YOU. We got a little matter o' business to tend to + with them two fellers yo' totin' to town." + </p> + <p> + <a name="link2HCH0019" id="link2HCH0019"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + CHAPTER XIX + </h2> + <p> + <i>Thirty</i> men with guns would be considerable of a proposition to buck + against, so we didn't try it. They took us out of the wagon, and they + pinted us down the road, steering us fur a country schoolhouse which was, + I judged from their talk, about a quarter of a mile away. They took us + silent, fur after we found they didn't answer no questions we quit asking + any. We jest walked along, and guessed what we was up against, and why. + Daddy Withers, he trailed along behind. They had tried to send him along + home, but he wouldn't go. So they let him foller and paid no more heed to + him. + </p> + <p> + Sam, he kept a-talking and a-begging, and several men a-telling of him to + shut up. And him not a-doing it. Till finally one feller says very + disgusted-like: + </p> + <p> + "Boys, I'm going to turn this nigger loose." + </p> + <p> + "We'll want his evidence," says another one. + </p> + <p> + "Evidence!" says the first one. "What's the evidence of a scared nigger + worth?" + </p> + <p> + "I reckon that one this afternoon was considerable scared, when he give us + that evidence against himself—that is, if you call it evidence." + </p> + <p> + "A nigger can give evidence against a nigger, and it's all right," says + another voice—which it come from a feller that had a-holt of my + wrist on the left-hand side of me—"but these are white men we are + going to try to-night. The case is too serious to take nigger evidence. + Besides, I reckon we got all the evidence any one could need. This nigger + ain't charged with any crime himself, and my idea is that he ain't to be + allowed to figure one way or the other in this thing." + </p> + <p> + So they turned Sam loose. I never seen nor hearn tell of Sam since then. + They fired a couple of guns into the air as he started down the road, jest + fur fun, and mebby he is running yet. + </p> + <p> + The feller had been talking like he was a lawyer, so I asts him what crime + we was charged with. But he didn't answer me. And jest then we gets in + sight of that schoolhouse. + </p> + <p> + It set on top of a little hill, partially in the moonlight, with a few + sad-looking pine trees scattered around it, and the fence in front broke + down. Even after night you could see it was a shabby-looking little place. + </p> + <p> + Old Daddy Withers tied his mule to the broken down fence. Somebody busted + the front door down. Somebody else lighted matches. The first thing I + knowed, we was all inside, and four or five dirty little coal oil lamps, + with tin reflectors to 'em, which I s'pose was used ordinary fur school + exhibitions, was being lighted. + </p> + <p> + We was waltzed up onto the teacher's platform, Doctor Kirby and me, and + set down in chairs there, with two men to each of us, and then a tall, + rawboned feller stalks up to the teacher's desk, and raps on it with the + butt end of a pistol, and says: + </p> + <p> + "Gentlemen, this meeting will come to order." + </p> + <p> + Which they was orderly enough before that, but they all took off their + hats when he rapped, like in a court room or a church, and most of 'em set + down. + </p> + <p> + They set down in the school kids' seats, or on top of the desks, and their + legs stuck out into the aisles, and they looked uncomfortable and awkward. + But they looked earnest and they looked sollum, too, and they wasn't no + joking nor skylarking going on, nor no kind of rowdyness, neither. These + here men wasn't toughs, by any manner of means, but the most part of 'em + respectable farmers. They had a look of meaning business. + </p> + <p> + "Gentlemen," says the feller who had rapped, "who will you have for your + chairman?" + </p> + <p> + "I reckon you'll do, Will," says another feller to the raw-boned man, + which seemed to satisfy him. But he made 'em vote on it before he took + office. + </p> + <p> + "Now then," says Will, "the accused must have counsel." + </p> + <p> + "Will," says another feller, very hasty, "what's the use of all this fuss + an' feathers? You know as well as I do there's nothing legal about this. + It's only necessary. For my part—" + </p> + <p> + "Buck Hightower," says Will, pounding on the desk, "you will please come + to order." Which Buck done it. + </p> + <p> + "Now," says the chairman, turning toward Doctor Kirby, who had been + setting there looking thoughtful from one man to another, like he was + sizing each one up, "now I must explain to the chief defendant that we + don't intend to lynch him." + </p> + <p> + He stopped a second on that word LYNCH as if to let it soak in. The + doctor, he bowed toward him very cool and ceremonious, and says, mocking + of him: + </p> + <p> + "You reassure me, Mister—Mister—What is your name?" He said it + in a way that would of made a saint mad. + </p> + <p> + "My name ain't any difference," says Will, trying not to show he was + nettled. + </p> + <p> + "You are quite right," says the doctor, looking Will up and down from head + to foot, very slow and insulting, "it's of no consequence in the world." + </p> + <p> + Will, he flushed up, but he makes himself steady and cool, and he goes on + with his little speech: "There is to be no lynching here to-night. There + is to be a trial, and, if necessary, an execution." + </p> + <p> + "Would it be asking too much," says the doctor very polite, "if I were to + inquire who is to be tried, and before what court, and upon what charge?" + </p> + <p> + There was a clearing of throats and a shuffling of feet fur a minute. One + old deaf feller, with a red nose, who had his hand behind his ear and was + leaning forward so as not to miss a breath of what any one said, ast his + neighbour in a loud whisper, "How?" Then an undersized little feller, who + wasn't a farmer by his clothes, got up and moved toward the platform. He + had a bulging-out forehead, and thin lips, and a quick, nervous way about + him: + </p> + <p> + "You are to be tried," he says to the doctor, speaking in a kind of shrill + sing-song that cut your nerves in that room full of bottled-up excitement + like a locust on a hot day. "You are to be tried before this + self-constituted court of Caucasian citizens—Anglo-Saxons, sir, + every man of them, whose forbears were at Runnymede! The charge against + you is stirring up the negroes of this community to the point of revolt. + You are accused, sir, of representing yourself to them as some kind of a + Moses. You are arraigned here for endangering the peace of the county and + the supremacy of the Caucasian race by inspiring in the negroes the hope + of equality." + </p> + <p> + Old Daddy Withers had been setting back by the door. I seen him get up and + slip out. It didn't look to me to be any place fur a gentle old poet. + While that little feller was making that charge you could feel the air + getting tingly, like it does before a rain storm. + </p> + <p> + Some fellers started to clap their hands like at a political rally and to + say, "Go it, Billy!" "That's right, Harden!" Which I found out later Billy + Harden was in the state legislature, and quite a speaker, and knowed it. + Will, the chairman, he pounded down the applause, and then he says to the + doctor, pointing to Billy Harden: + </p> + <p> + "No man shall say of us that we did not give you a fair trial and a square + deal. I'm goin' to appoint this gentleman as your counsel, and I'm goin' + to give you a reasonable time to talk with him in private and prepare your + case. He is the ablest lawyer in southwest Georgia and the brightest son + of Watson County." + </p> + <p> + The doctor looks kind of lazy and Bill Harden, and back agin at Will, the + chairman, and smiles out of the corner of his mouth. Then he says, sort of + taking in the rest of the crowd with his remark, like them two standing + there paying each other compliments wasn't nothing but a joke: + </p> + <p> + "I hope neither of you will take it too much to heart if I'm not impressed + by your sense of justice—or your friend's ability." + </p> + <p> + "Then," said Will, "I take it that you intend to act as your own counsel?" + </p> + <p> + "You may take it," says the doctor, rousing of himself up, "you may take + it—from me—that I refuse to recognize you and your crowd as a + court of any kind; that I know nothing of the silly accusations against + me; that I find no reason at all why I should take the trouble of making a + defence before an armed mob that can only mean one of two things." + </p> + <p> + "One of two things?" says Will. + </p> + <p> + "Yes," says the doctor, very quiet, but raising his voice a little and + looking him hard in the eyes. "You and your gang can mean only one of two + things. Either a bad joke, or else—" + </p> + <p> + And he stopped a second, leaning forward in his chair, with the look of + half raising out of it, so as to bring out the word very decided— + </p> + <p> + "MURDER!" + </p> + <p> + The way he done it left that there word hanging in the room, so you could + almost see it and almost feel it there, like it was a thing that had to be + faced and looked at and took into account. They all felt it that-a-way, + too; fur they wasn't a sound fur a minute. Then Will says: + </p> + <p> + "We don't plan murder, and you'll find this ain't a joke. And since you + refuse to accept counsel—" + </p> + <p> + Jest then Buck Hightower interrupts him by yelling out, "I make a motion + Billy Harden be prosecuting attorney, then. Let's hurry this thing along!" + And several started to applaud, and call fur Billy Harden to prosecute. + But Will, he pounded down the applause agin, and says: + </p> + <p> + "I was about to suggest that Mr. Harden might be prevailed upon to accept + that task." + </p> + <p> + "Yes," says the doctor, very gentle and easy. "Quite so! I fancied myself + that Mr. Harden came along with the idea of making a speech either for or + against." And he grinned at Billy Harden in a way that seemed to make him + wild, though he tried not to show it. Somehow the doctor seemed to be all + keyed up, instead of scared, like a feller that's had jest enough to drink + to give him a fighting edge. + </p> + <p> + "Mr. Chairman," says Billy Harden, flushing up and stuttering jest a + little, "I b-beg leave to d-d-decline." + </p> + <p> + "What," says the doctor, sort of playing with Billy with his eyes and + grin, and turning like to let the whole crowd in on the joke, "DECLINE? + The eminent gentleman declines! And he is going to sit down, too, with all + that speech bottled up in him! O Demosthenes!" he says, "you have lost + your pebble in front of all Greece." + </p> + <p> + Several grinned at Billy Harden as he set down, and three or four laughed + outright. I guess about half of them there knowed him fur a wind bag, and + some wasn't sorry to see him joshed. But I seen what the doctor was trying + to do. He knowed he was in an awful tight place, and he was feeling that + crowd's pulse, so to speak. He had been talking to crowds fur twenty + years, and he knowed the kind of sudden turns they will take, and how to + take advantage of 'em. He was planning and figgering in his mind all the + time jest what side to ketch 'em on, and how to split up the one, solid + crowd-mind into different minds. But the little bit of a laugh he turned + against Billy Harden was only on the surface, like a straw floating on a + whirlpool. These men was here fur business. + </p> + <p> + Buck Hightower jumps up and says: + </p> + <p> + "Will, I'm getting tired of this court foolishness. The question is, Does + this man come into this county and do what he has done and get out again? + We know all about him. He sneaked in here and gave out he was here to turn + the niggers white—that he was some kind of a new-fangled Jesus sent + especially to niggers, which is blasphemy in itself—and he's got 'em + stirred up. They're boilin' and festerin' with notions of equality till + we're lucky if we don't have to lynch a dozen of 'em, like they did in + Atlanta last summer, to get 'em back into their places again. Do we save + ourselves more trouble by stringing him up as a warning to the negroes? Or + do we invite trouble by turning him loose? Which? All it needs is a vote." + </p> + <p> + And he set down agin. You could see he had made a hit with the boys. They + was a kind of a growl rolled around the room. The feelings in that place + was getting stronger and stronger. I was scared, but trying not to show + it. My fingers kept feeling around in my pocket fur something that wasn't + there. But my brain couldn't remember what my fingers was feeling fur. + Then it come on me sudden it was a buckeye I picked up in the woods in + Indiany one day, and I had lost it. I ain't superstitious about buckeyes + or horse-shoes, but remembering I had lost it somehow made me feel worse. + But Doctor Kirby had a good holt on himself; his face was a bit redder'n + usual, and his eyes was sparkling, and he was both eager and watchful. + When Buck Hightower sets down the chairman clears his throat like he is + going to speak. But— + </p> + <p> + "Just a moment," says Doctor Kirby, getting on his feet, and taking a step + toward the chairman. And the way he stopped and stood made everybody look + at him. Then he went on: + </p> + <p> + "Once more," he says, "I call the attention of every man present to the + fact that what the last speaker proposes is—" + </p> + <p> + And then he let 'em have that word agin, full in their faces, to think + about— + </p> + <p> + "MURDER! Merely murder." + </p> + <p> + He was bound they shouldn't get away from that word and what it stood fur. + And every man there DID think, too, fur they was another little pause. And + not one of 'em looked at another one fur a minute. Doctor Kirby leaned + forward from the platform, running his eyes over the crowd, and jest + natcherally shoved that word into the room so hard with his mind that + every mind there had to take it in. + </p> + <p> + But as he held 'em to it they come a bang from one of the windows. It + broke the charm. Fur everybody jumped. I jumped myself. When the end of + the world comes and the earth busts in the middle, it won't sound no + louder than that bang did. It was a wooden shutter. The wind was rising + outside, and it flew open and whacked agin' the building. + </p> + <p> + Then a big, heavy-set man that hadn't spoke before riz up from one of the + hind seats, like he had heard a dare to fight, and walked slowly down + toward the front. He had a red face, which was considerable pock-marked, + and very deep-set eyes, and a deep voice. + </p> + <p> + "Since when," he says, taking up his stand a dozen feet or so in front of + the doctor, "since when has any civilization refused to commit murder when + murder was necessary for its protection?" + </p> + <p> + One of the top glasses of that window was out, and with the shutter open + they come a breeze through that fluttered some strips of dirty-coloured + papers, fly-specked and dusty and spider-webbed, that hung on strings + acrost the room, jest below the ceiling. I guess they had been left over + from some Christmas doings. + </p> + <p> + "My friend," said the pock-marked man to the doctor—and the funny + thing about it was he didn't talk unfriendly when he said it—"the + word you insist on is just a WORD, like any other word." + </p> + <p> + They was a spider rousted out of his web by that disturbance among the + strings and papers. He started down from above on jest one string of web, + seemingly spinning part of it out of himself as he come, the way they do. + I couldn't keep my eyes off'n him. + </p> + <p> + "Murder," says the doctor, "is a thing." + </p> + <p> + "It is a WORD," says the other man, "FOR a thing. For a thing which + sometimes seems necessary. Lynching, war, execution, murder—they are + all words for different ways of wiping out human life. Killing sometimes + seems wrong, and sometimes right. But right or wrong, and with one word or + another tacked to it, it is DONE when a community wants to get rid of + something dangerous to it." + </p> + <p> + That there spider was a squat, ugly-looking devil, hunched up on his + string amongst all his crooked legs. The wind would come in little puffs, + and swing him a little way toward the doctor's head, and then toward the + pock-marked man's head, back and forth and back and forth, between them + two as they spoke. It looked to me like he was listening to what they said + and waiting fur something. + </p> + <p> + "Murder," says the doctor, "is murder—illegal killing—and you + can't make anything else out of it, or talk anything else into it." + </p> + <p> + It come to me all to oncet that that ugly spider was swinging back and + forth like the pendulum on a clock, and marking time. I wondered how much + time they was left in the world. + </p> + <p> + "It would be none the less a murder," said the pock-marked man, "if you + were to be hanged after a trial in some county court. Society had been + obliged to deny the privilege of committing murder to the individual and + reserve it for the community. If our communal sense says you should die, + the thing is neither better nor worse than if a sheriff hanged you." + </p> + <p> + "I am not to be hanged by a sheriff," says the doctor, very cool and + steady, "because I have committed no crime. I am not to be killed by you + because you dare not, in spite of all you say, outrage the law to that + extent." + </p> + <p> + And they looked each other in the eyes so long and hard that every one + else in the schoolhouse held their breath. + </p> + <p> + "DARE not?" says the pock-marked man. And he reached forward slow and took + that spider in his hand, and crushed it there, and wiped his hand along + his pants leg. "Dare not? YES, BUT WE DARE. The only question for us men + here is whether we dare to let you go free." + </p> + <p> + "Your defence of lynching," says Doctor Kirby, "shows that you, at least, + are a man who can think. Tell me what I am accused of?" + </p> + <p> + And then the trial begun in earnest. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link2HCH0020" id="link2HCH0020"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + CHAPTER XX + </h2> + <p> + The doctor acted as his own lawyer, and the pock-marked man, whose name + was Grimes, as the lawyer agin us. You could see that crowd had made up + its mind before-hand, and was only giving us what they called a trial to + satisfy their own conscience. But the fight was betwixt Grimes and Doctor + Kirby the hull way through. + </p> + <p> + One witness was a feller that had been in the hotel at Cottonville the + night we struck that place. We had drunk some of his licker. + </p> + <p> + "This man admitted himself that he was here to turn the niggers white," + said the witness. + </p> + <p> + Doctor Kirby had told 'em what kind of medicine he was selling. We both + remembered it. We both had to admit it. + </p> + <p> + The next witness was the feller that run the tavern at Bairdstown. He had + with him, fur proof, a bottle of the stuff we had brought with us. He told + how we had went away and left it there that very morning. + </p> + <p> + Another witness told of seeing the doctor talking in the road to that + there nigger bishop. Which any one could of seen it easy enough, fur they + wasn't nothing secret about it. We had met him by accident. But you could + see it made agin us. + </p> + <p> + Another witness says he lives not fur from that Big Bethel church. He says + he has noticed the niggers was worked up about something fur several days. + They are keeping the cause of it secret. He went over to Big Bethel church + the night before, he said, and he listened outside one of the windows to + find out what kind of doctrine that crazy bishop was preaching to them. + They was all so worked up, and the power was with 'em so strong, and they + was so excited they wouldn't of hearn an army marching by. He had hearn + the bishop deliver a message to his flock from the Messiah. He had seen + him go wild, afterward, and preach an equality sermon. That was the lying + message the old bishop had took to 'em, and that Sam had told us about. + But how was this feller to know it was a lie? He believed in it, and he + told it in a straight-ahead way that would make any one see he was telling + the truth as he thought it to be. + </p> + <p> + Then they was six other witnesses. All had been in the gang that lynched + the nigger that day. That nigger had confessed his crime before he was + lynched. He had told how the niggers had been expecting of a Messiah fur + several days, and how the doctor was him. He had died a-preaching and + a-prophesying and thinking to the last minute maybe he was going to get + took up in a chariot of fire. + </p> + <p> + Things kept looking worse and worse fur us. They had the story as the + niggers thought it to be. They thought the doctor had deliberately + represented himself as such, instead of which the doctor had refused to be + represented as that there Messiah. More than that, he had never sold a + bottle of that medicine. He had flung the idea of selling it way behind + him jest as soon as he seen what the situation really was in the black + counties. He had even despised himself fur going into it. But the looks of + things was all the other way. + </p> + <p> + Then the doctor give his own testimony. + </p> + <p> + "Gentlemen," he says, "it is true that I came down here to try out that + stuff in the bottle there, and see if a market could be worked up for it. + It is also true that, after I came here and discovered what conditions + were, I decided not to sell the stuff. I didn't sell any. About this + Messiah business I know very little more than you do. The situation was + created, and I blundered into it. I sent the negroes word that I was not + the person they expected. The bishop lied to them. That is my whole + story." + </p> + <p> + But they didn't believe him. Fur it was jest what he would of said if he + had been guilty, as they thought him. And then Grimes gets up and says: + </p> + <p> + "Gentlemen, I demand for this prisoner the penalty of death. + </p> + <p> + "He has lent himself to a situation calculated to disturb in this county + the peaceful domination of the black race by the white. + </p> + <p> + "He is a Northern man. But that is not against him. If this were a case + where leniency were possible, it should count for him, as indicating an + ignorance of the gravity of conditions which confront us here, every day + and all the time. If he were my own brother, I would still demand his + death. + </p> + <p> + "Lest he should think my attitude dictated by any lingering sectional + prejudice, I may tell him what you all know—you people among whom I + have lived for thirty years—that I am a Northern man myself. + </p> + <p> + "The negro who was lynched to-day might never have committed the crime he + did had not the wild, disturbing dream of equality been stirring in his + brain. Every speech, every look, every action which encourages that idea + is a crime. In this county, where the blacks outnumber us, we must either + rule as masters or be submerged. + </p> + <p> + "This man is still believed by the negroes to possess some miraculous + power. He is therefore doubly dangerous. As a sharp warning to them he + must die. His death will do more toward ending the trouble he has prepared + than the death of a dozen negroes. + </p> + <p> + "And as God is my witness, I speak and act not through passion, but from + the dictates of conscience." + </p> + <p> + He meant it, Grimes did. And when he set down they was a hush. And then + Will, the chairman, begun to call the roll. + </p> + <p> + I never been much of a person to have bad dreams or nightmares or things + like that. But ever since that night in that schoolhouse, if I do have a + nightmare, it takes the shape of that roll being called. Every word was + like a spade grating and gritting in damp gravel when a grave is dug. It + sounded so to me. + </p> + <p> + "Samuel Palmour, how do you vote?" that chairman would say. + </p> + <p> + Samuel Palmour, or whoever it was, would hist himself to his feet, and he + would say something like this: + </p> + <p> + "Death." + </p> + <p> + He wouldn't say it joyous. He wouldn't say it mad. He would be pale when + he said it, mebby—and mebby trembling. But he would say it like it + was a duty he had to do, that couldn't be got out of. That there trial had + lasted so long they wasn't hot blood left in nobody jest then—only + cold blood, and determination and duty and principle. + </p> + <p> + "Buck Hightower," says the chairman, "how do you vote?" + </p> + <p> + "Death," says Buck; "death for the man. But say, can't we jest LICK the + kid and turn him loose?" + </p> + <p> + And so it went, up one side the room and down the other. Grimes had showed + 'em all their duty. Not but what they had intended to do it before Grimes + spoke. But he had put it in such a way they seen it was something with + even MORE principle to it than they had thought it was before. + </p> + <p> + "Billy Harden," says the chairman, "how do you vote?" Billy was the last + of the bunch. And most had voted fur death. Billy, he opened his mouth and + he squared himself away to orate some. But jest as he done so, the door + opened and Old Daddy Withers stepped in. He had been gone so long I had + plumb forgot him. Right behind him was a tall, spare feller, with black + eyes and straight iron-gray hair. + </p> + <p> + "I vote," says Billy Harden, beginning of his speech, "I vote for death. + The reason upon which I base—" + </p> + <p> + But Doctor Kirby riz up and interrupted him. + </p> + <p> + "You are going to kill me," he said. He was pale but he was quiet, and he + spoke as calm and steady as he ever done in his life. "You are going to + kill me like the crowd of sneaking cowards that you are. And you ARE such + cowards that you've talked two hours about it, instead of doing it. And + I'll tell you why you've talked so much: because no ONE of you alone would + dare to do it, and every man of you in the end wants to go away thinking + that the other fellow had the biggest share in it. And no ONE of you will + fire the gun or pull the rope—you'll do it ALL TOGETHER, in a crowd, + because each one will want to tell himself he only touched the rope, or + that HIS GUN missed. + </p> + <p> + "I know you, by God!" he shouted, flushing up into a passion—and it + brought blood into their faces, too—"I know you right down to your + roots, better than you know yourselves." + </p> + <p> + He was losing hold of himself, and roaring like a bull and flinging out + taunts that made 'em squirm. If he wanted the thing over quick, he was + taking jest the way to warm 'em up to it. But I don't think he was + figgering on anything then, or had any plan up his sleeve. He had made up + his mind he was going to die, and he was so mad because he couldn't get in + one good lick first that he was nigh crazy. I looked to see him lose all + sense in a minute, and rush amongst them guns and end it in a whirl. + </p> + <p> + But jest as I figgered he was on his tiptoes fur that, and was getting up + my own sand, he throwed a look my way. And something sobered him. He stood + there digging his finger nails into the palms of his hands fur a minute, + to get himself back. And when he spoke he was sort of husky. + </p> + <p> + "That boy there," he says. And then he stops and kind of chokes up. And in + a minute he was begging fur me. He tells 'em I wasn't mixed up in nothing. + He wouldn't of done it fur himself, but he begged fur me. Nobody had paid + much attention to me from the first, except Buck Hightower had put in a + good word fur me. But somehow the doctor had got the crowd listening to + him agin, and they all looked at me. It got next to me. I seen by the way + they was looking, and I felt it in the air, that they was going to let me + off. + </p> + <p> + But Doctor Kirby, he had always been my friend. It made me sore fur to see + him thinking I wasn't with him. So I says: + </p> + <p> + "You better can that line of talk. They don't get you without they get me, + too. You orter know I ain't a quitter. You give me a pain." + </p> + <p> + And the doctor and me stood and looked at each other fur a minute. He + grinned at me, and all of a sudden we was neither one of us much giving a + whoop, fur it had come to us both at oncet what awful good friends we was + with each other. + </p> + <p> + But jest then they come a slow, easy-going sort of a voice from the back + part of the room. That feller that had come in along with Old Daddy + Withers come sauntering down the middle aisle, fumbling in his coat + pocket, and speaking as he come. + </p> + <p> + "I've been hearing a great deal of talk about killing people in the last + few minutes," he says. + </p> + <p> + Everybody rubbered at him. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link2HCH0021" id="link2HCH0021"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + CHAPTER XXI + </h2> + <p> + There was something sort of careless in his voice, like he had jest + dropped in to see a show, and it had come to him sudden that he would + enjoy himself fur a minute or two taking part in it. But he wasn't going + to get TOO worked up about it, either, fur the show might end by making + him tired, after all. + </p> + <p> + As he come down the aisle fumbling in his coat, he stopped and begun to + slap all his pockets. Then his face cleared, and he dived into a vest + pocket. Everybody looked like they thought he was going to pull something + important out of it. But he didn't. All he pulled out was jest one of + these here little ordinary red books of cigarette papers. Then he dived + fur some loose tobacco, and begun to roll one. I noticed his fingers was + long and white and slim and quick. But not excited fingers; only the kind + that seems to say as much as talking says. + </p> + <p> + He licked his cigarette, and then he sauntered ahead, looking up. As he + looked up the light fell full on his face fur the first time. He had high + cheek bones and iron-gray hair which he wore rather long, and very black + eyes. As he lifted his head and looked close at Doctor Kirby, a change + went over both their faces. Doctor Kirby's mouth opened like he was going + to speak. So did the other feller's. One side of his mouth twitched into + something that was too surprised to be a grin, and one of his black + eyebrows lifted itself up at the same time. But neither him nor Doctor + Kirby spoke. + </p> + <p> + He stuck his cigarette into his mouth and turned sideways from Doctor + Kirby, like he hadn't noticed him pertic'ler. And he turns to the + chairman. + </p> + <p> + "Will," he says. And everybody listens. You could see they all knowed him, + and that they all respected him too, by the way they was waiting to hear + what he would say to Will. But they was all impatient and eager, too, and + they wouldn't wait very long, although now they was hushing each other and + leaning forward. + </p> + <p> + "Will," he says, very polite and quiet, "can I trouble you for a match?" + </p> + <p> + And everybody let go their breath. Some with a snort, like they knowed + they was being trifled with, and it made 'em sore. His eyebrows goes up + agin, like it was awful impolite in folks to snort that-away, and he is + surprised to hear it. And Will, he digs fur a match and finds her and + passes her over. He lights his cigarette, and he draws a good inhale, and + he blows the smoke out like it done him a heap of good. He sees something + so interesting in that little cloud of smoke that everybody else looks at + it, too. + </p> + <p> + "Do I understand," he says, "that some one is going to lynch some one, or + something of that sort?" + </p> + <p> + "That's about the size of it, colonel," says Will. + </p> + <p> + "Um!" he says, "What for?" + </p> + <p> + Then everybody starts to talk all at once, half of them jumping to their + feet, and making a perfect hullabaloo of explanations you couldn't get no + sense out of. In the midst of which the colonel takes a chair and sets + down and crosses one leg over the other, swinging the loose foot and + smiling very patient. Which Will remembers he is chairman of that meeting + and pounds fur order. + </p> + <p> + "Thank you, Will," says the colonel, like getting order was a personal + favour to him. Then Billy Harden gets the floor, and squares away fur a + longwinded speech telling why. But Buck Hightower jumps up impatient and + says: + </p> + <p> + "We've been through all that, Billy. That man there has been tried and + found guilty, colonel, and there's only one thing to do—string him + up." + </p> + <p> + "Buck, <i>I</i> wouldn't," says the colonel, very mild. + </p> + <p> + But that there man Grimes gets up very sober and steady and says: + </p> + <p> + "Colonel, you don't understand." And he tells him the hull thing as he + believed it to be—why they has voted the doctor must die, the room + warming up agin as he talks, and the colonel listening very interested. + But you could see by the looks of him that colonel wouldn't never be + interested so much in anything but himself, and his own way of doing + things. In a way he was like a feller that enjoys having one part of + himself stand aside and watch the play-actor game another part of himself + is acting out. + </p> + <p> + "Grimes," he says, when the pock-marked man finishes, "I wouldn't. I + really wouldn't." + </p> + <p> + "Colonel," says Grimes, showing his knowledge that they are all standing + solid behind him, "WE WILL!" + </p> + <p> + "Ah," says the colonel, his eyebrows going up, and his face lighting up + like he is really beginning to enjoy himself and is glad he come, + "indeed!" + </p> + <p> + "Yes," says Grimes, "WE WILL!" + </p> + <p> + "But not," says the colonel, "before we have talked the thing over a bit, + I hope?" + </p> + <p> + "There's been too much talk here now," yells Buck Hightower, "talk, talk, + till, by God, I'm sick of it! Where's that ROPE?" + </p> + <p> + "But, listen to him—listen to the colonel!" some one else sings out. + And then they was another hullabaloo, some yelling "no!" And the colonel, + very patient, rolls himself another smoke and lights it from the butt of + the first one. But finally they quiets down enough so Will can put it to a + vote. Which vote goes fur the colonel to speak. + </p> + <p> + "Boys," he begins very quiet, "I wouldn't lynch this man. In the first + place it will look bad in the newspapers, and—" + </p> + <p> + "The newspapers be d—-d!" says some one. + </p> + <p> + "And in the second place," goes on the colonel, "it would be against the + law, and—" + </p> + <p> + "The law be d——d!" says Buck Hightower. + </p> + <p> + "There's a higher law!" says Grimes. + </p> + <p> + "Against the law," says the colonel, rising up and throwing away his + cigarette, and getting interested. + </p> + <p> + "I know how you feel about all this negro business. And I feel the same + way. We all know that we must be the negros' masters. Grimes there found + that out when he came South, and the idea pleased him so he hasn't been + able to talk about anything else since. Grimes has turned into what the + Northern newspapers think a typical Southerner is. + </p> + <p> + "Boys, this thing of lynching gets to be a habit. There's been a negro + lynched to-day. He's the third in this county in five years. They all + needed killing. If the thing stopped there I wouldn't care so much. But + the habit of illegal killing grows when it gets started. + </p> + <p> + "It's grown on you. You're fixing to lynch your first white man now. If + you do, you'll lynch another easier. You'll lynch one for murder and the + next for stealing hogs and the next because he's unpopular and the next + because he happens to dun you for a debt. And in five years life will be + as cheap in Watson County as it is in a New York slum where they feed + immigrants to the factories. You'll all be toting guns and grudges and + trying to lynch each other. + </p> + <p> + "The place to stop the thing is where it starts. You can't have it both + ways—you've got to stand pat on the law, or else see the law spit on + right and left, in the end, and NOBODY safe. It's either law or—" + </p> + <p> + "But," says Grimes, "there's a higher law than that on the statute books. + There's—" + </p> + <p> + "There's a lot of flub-dub," says the colonel, "about higher laws and + unwritten laws. But we've got high enough law written if we live up to it. + There's—" + </p> + <p> + "Colonel Tom Buckner," says Buck Hightower, "what kind of law was it when + you shot Ed Howard fifteen years ago? What—" + </p> + <p> + "You're out of order," says the chairman, "Colonel Buckner has the floor. + And I'll remind you, Buck Hightower, that, on the occasion you drag in, + Colonel Buckner didn't do any talking about higher laws or unwritten laws. + He sent word to the sheriff to come and get him if he dared." + </p> + <p> + "Boys," says the colonel, "I'm preaching you higher doctrine than I've + lived by, and I've made no claim to be better or more moral than any of + you. I'm not. I'm in the same boat with all of you, and I tell you it's up + to ALL of us to stop lynchings in this county—to set our faces + against it. I tell you—" + </p> + <p> + "Is that all you've got to say to us, colonel?" + </p> + <p> + The question come out of a group that had drawed nearer together whilst + the colonel was talking. They was tired of listening to talk and + arguments, and showed it. + </p> + <p> + The colonel stopped speaking short when they flung that question at him. + His face changed. He turned serious all over. And he let loose jest one + word: + </p> + <p> + "NO!" + </p> + <p> + Not very loud, but with a ring in it that sounded like danger. And he got + 'em waiting agin, and hanging on his words. + </p> + <p> + "No!" he repeats, louder, "not all. I have this to say to you—" + </p> + <p> + And he paused agin, pointing one long white finger at the crowd— + </p> + <p> + "IF YOU LYNCH THIS MAN YOU MUST KILL ME FIRST!" + </p> + <p> + I couldn't get away from thinking, as he stood there making them take that + in, that they was something like a play-actor about him. But he was in + earnest, and he would play it to the end, fur he liked the feelings it + made circulate through his frame. And they saw he was in earnest. + </p> + <p> + "You'll lynch him, will you?" he says, a kind of passion getting into his + voice fur the first time, and his eyes glittering. "You think you will? + Well, you WON'T! + </p> + <p> + "You won't because <i>I</i> say NOT. Do you hear? I came here to-night to + save him. + </p> + <p> + "You might string HIM up and not be called to account for it. But how + about ME?" + </p> + <p> + He took a step forward, and, looking from face to face with a dare in his + eyes, he went on: + </p> + <p> + "Is there a man among you fool enough to think you could kill Tom Buckner + and not pay for it?" + </p> + <p> + He let 'em all think of that for jest another minute before he spoke agin. + His face was as white as a piece of paper, and his nostrils was working, + but everything else about him was quiet. He looked the master of them all + as he stood there, Colonel Tom Buckner did—straight and splendid and + keen. And they felt the danger in him, and they felt jest how fur he would + go, now he was started. + </p> + <p> + "You didn't want to listen to me a bit ago," he said. "Now you must. + Listen and choose. You can't kill that man unless you kill me too. + </p> + <p> + "TRY IT, IF YOU THINK YOU CAN!" + </p> + <p> + He reached over and took from the teacher's desk the sheet of paper Will + had used to check off the name of each man and how he voted. He held it up + in front of him and every man looked at it. + </p> + <p> + "You know me," he says. "You know I do not break my word. And I promise + you that unless you do kill me here tonight—yes, as God is my + witness, I THREATEN you—I will spend every dollar I own and every + atom of influence I possess to bring each one of you to justice for that + man's murder." + </p> + <p> + They knowed, that crowd did, that killing a man like Colonel Buckner—a + leader and a big man in that part of the state—was a different + proposition from killing a stranger like Doctor Kirby. The sense of what + it would mean to kill Colonel Buckner was sinking into 'em, and showing on + their faces. And no one could look at him standing there, with his + determination blazing out of him, and not understand that unless they did + kill him as well as Doctor Kirby he'd do jest what he said. + </p> + <p> + "I told you," he said, not raising his voice, but dropping it, and making + it somehow come creeping nearer to every one by doing that, "I told you + the first white man you lynched would lead to other lynchings. Let me show + you what you're up against to-night. + </p> + <p> + "Kill the man and the boy here, and you must kill me. Kill me, and you + must kill Old Man Withers, too." + </p> + <p> + Every one turned toward the door as he mentioned Old Man Withers. He had + never been very far into the room. + </p> + <p> + "Oh, he's gone," said Colonel Tom, as they turned toward the door, and + then looked at each other. "Gone home. Gone home with the name of every + man present. Don't you see you'd have to kill Old Man Withers too, if you + killed me? And then, HIS WIFE! And then—how many more? + </p> + <p> + "Do you see it widen—that pool of blood? Do you see it spread and + spread?" + </p> + <p> + He looked down at the floor, like he really seen it there. He had 'em + going now. They showed it. + </p> + <p> + "If you shed one drop," he went on, "you must shed more. Can't you see it—widening + and deepening, widening and deepening, till you're wading knee deep in it—till + it climbs to your waists—till it climbs to your throats and chokes + you?" + </p> + <p> + It was a horrible idea, the way he played that there pool of blood and he + shuddered like he felt it climbing up himself. And they felt it. A few men + can't kill a hull, dern county and get away with it. The way he put it + that's what they was up against. + </p> + <p> + "Now," says Colonel Tom, "what man among you wants to start it?" + </p> + <p> + Nobody moved. He waited a minute. Still nobody moved. They all looked at + him. It was awful plain jest where they would have to begin. It was awful + plain jest what it would all end up in. And I guess when they looked at + him standing there, so fine and straight and splendid, it jest seemed + plumb unpossible to make a move. There was a spirit in him that couldn't + be killed. Doctor Kirby said afterward that was what come of being real + "quality," which was what Colonel Tom was—it was that in him that + licked 'em. It was the best part of their own selves, and the best part of + their own country, speaking out of him to them, that done it. Mebby so. + Anyhow, after a minute more of that strain, a feller by the door picks up + his gun out of the corner with a scrape, and hists it to his shoulder and + walks out. And then Colonel Tom says to Will, with his eyebrow going up, + and that one-sided grin coming onto his face agin: + </p> + <p> + "Will, perhaps a motion to adjourn would be in order?" + </p> + <p> + <a name="link2HCH0022" id="link2HCH0022"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + CHAPTER XXII + </h2> + <p> + So many different kinds of feeling had been chasing around inside of me + that I had numb spots in my emotional ornaments and intellectual organs. + The room cleared out of everybody but Doctor Kirby and Colonel Tom and me. + But the sound of the crowd going into the road, and their footsteps dying + away, and then after that their voices quitting, all made but very little + sense to me. I could scarcely realize that the danger was over. + </p> + <p> + I hadn't been paying much attention to Doctor Kirby while the colonel was + making that grandstand play of his'n, and getting away with it. Doctor + Kirby was setting in his chair with his head sort of sunk on his chest. I + guess he was having a hard time himself to realize that all the danger was + past. But mebby it wasn't that—he looked like he might really of + forgot where he was fur a minute, and might be thinking of something that + had happened a long time ago. + </p> + <p> + The colonel was leaning up agin the teacher's desk, smoking and looking at + Doctor Kirby. Doctor Kirby turns around toward the colonel. + </p> + <p> + "You have saved my life," he says, getting up out of his chair, like he + had a notion to step over and thank him fur it, but was somehow not quite + sure how that would be took. + </p> + <p> + The colonel looks at him silent fur a second, and then he says, without + smiling: + </p> + <p> + "Do you flatter yourself it was because I think it worth anything?" + </p> + <p> + The doctor don't answer, and then the colonel says: + </p> + <p> + "Has it occurred to you that I may have saved it because I want it?" + </p> + <p> + "WANT it?" + </p> + <p> + "Do you know of any one who has a better right to TAKE it than I have? + Perhaps I saved it because it BELONGS to me—do you suppose I want + any one else to kill what I have the best right to kill?" + </p> + <p> + "Tom," says Doctor Kirby, really puzzled, to judge from his actions, "I + don't understand what makes you say you have the right to take my life." + </p> + <p> + "Dave, where is my sister buried?" asts Colonel Tom. + </p> + <p> + "Buried?" says Doctor Kirby. "My God, Tom, is she DEAD?" + </p> + <p> + "I ask you," says Colonel Tom. + </p> + <p> + "And I ask you," says Doctor Kirby. + </p> + <p> + And they looked at each other, both wonderized, and trying to understand. + And it busted on me all at oncet who them two men really was. + </p> + <p> + I orter knowed it sooner. When the colonel was first called Colonel Tom + Buckner it struck me I knowed the name, and knowed something about it. But + things which was my own consarns was attracting my attention so hard I + couldn't remember what it was I orter know about that name. Then I seen + him and Doctor Kirby knowed each other when they got that first square + look. That orter of put me on the track, that and a lot of other things + that had happened before. But I didn't piece things together like I orter + done. + </p> + <p> + It wasn't until Colonel Tom Buckner called him "Dave" and ast him about + his sister that I seen who Doctor Kirby must really be. + </p> + <p> + HE WAS THAT THERE DAVID ARMSTRONG! + </p> + <p> + And the brother of the girl he had run off with had jest saved his life. + By the way he was talking, he had saved it simply because he thought he + had the first call on what to do with it. + </p> + <p> + "Where is she?" asts Colonel Tom. + </p> + <p> + "I ask you," says Doctor Kirby—or David Armstrong—agin. + </p> + <p> + Well, I thinks to myself, here is where Daniel puts one acrost the plate. + And I breaks in: + </p> + <p> + "You both got another guess coming," I says. "She ain't buried anywheres. + She ain't even dead. She's living in a little town in Indiany called + Athens—or she was about eighteen months ago." + </p> + <p> + They both looks at me like they thinks I am crazy. + </p> + <p> + "What do you know about it?" says Doctor Kirby. + </p> + <p> + "Are you David Armstrong?" says I. + </p> + <p> + "Yes," says he. + </p> + <p> + "Well," I says, "you spent four or five days within a stone's throw of her + a year ago last summer, and she knowed it was you and hid herself away + from you." + </p> + <p> + Then I tells them about how I first happened to hear of David Armstrong, + and all I had hearn from Martha. And how I had stayed at the Davises in + Tennessee and got some more of the same story from George, the old nigger + there. + </p> + <p> + "But, Danny," says the doctor, "why didn't you tell me all this?" + </p> + <p> + I was jest going to say that not knowing he was that there David Armstrong + I didn't think it any of his business, when Colonel Tom, he says to Doctor + Kirby—I mean to David Armstrong: + </p> + <p> + "Why should you be concerned as to her whereabouts? You ruined her life + and then deserted her." + </p> + <p> + Doctor Kirby—I mean David Armstrong—stands there with the + blood going up his face into his forehead slow and red. + </p> + <p> + "Tom," he says, "you and I seem to be working at cross purposes. Maybe it + would help some if you would tell me just how badly you think I treated + Lucy." + </p> + <p> + "You ruined her life, and then deserted her," says Colonel Tom agin, + looking at him hard. + </p> + <p> + "I DIDN'T desert her," said Doctor Kirby. "She got disgusted and left ME. + Left me without a chance to explain myself. As far as ruining her life is + concerned, I suppose that when I married her—" + </p> + <p> + "Married her!" cries out the colonel. And David Armstrong stares at him + with his mouth open. + </p> + <p> + "My God! Tom," he says, "did you think—?" + </p> + <p> + And they both come to another standstill. And then they talked some more + and only got more mixed up than ever. Fur the doctor thinks she has left + him, and Colonel Tom thinks he has left her. + </p> + <p> + "Tom," says the doctor, "suppose you let me tell my story, and you'll see + why Lucy left me." + </p> + <p> + Him and Colonel Tom had been chums together when they went through + Princeton, it seems—I picked that up from the talk and some of his + story I learned afterward. He had come from Ohio in the beginning, and his + dad had had considerable money. Which he had enjoyed spending of it, and + when he was a young feller never liked to work at nothing else. It suited + him. Colonel Tom, he was considerable like him in that way. So they was + good pals when they was to that school together. They both quit about the + same time. A couple of years after that, when they was both about + twenty-five or six years old, they run acrost each other accidental in New + York one autumn. + </p> + <p> + The doctor, he was there figgering on going to work at something or other, + but they was so many things to do he was finding it hard to make a choice. + His father was dead by that time, and looking fur a job in New York, the + way he had been doing it, was awful expensive, and he was running short of + money. His father had let him spend so much whilst he was alive he was + very disappointed to find out he couldn't keep on forever looking fur work + that-a-way. + </p> + <p> + So Colonel Tom says why not come down home into Tennessee with him fur a + while, and they will both try and figger out what he orter go to work at. + It was the fall of the year, and they was purty good hunting around there + where Colonel Tom lived, and Dave hadn't never been South any, and so he + goes. He figgers he better take a good, long vacation, anyhow. Fur if he + goes to work that winter or the next spring, and ties up with some job + that keeps him in an office, there may be months and months pass by before + he has another chance at a vacation. That is the worst part of a job—I + found that out myself—you never can tell when you are going to get + shut of it, once you are fool enough to start in. + </p> + <p> + In Tennessee he had met Miss Lucy. Which her wedding to Prent McMakin was + billed fur to come off about the first of November, jest a month away. + </p> + <p> + "I don't know whether I ever told you or not," says the doctor, "but I was + engaged to be married myself, Tom, when I went down to your place. That + was what started all the trouble. + </p> + <p> + "You know engagements are like vaccination—sometimes they take, and + sometimes they don't. Of course, I had thought at one time I was in love + with this girl I was engaged to. When I found out I wasn't, I should have + told her so right away. But I didn't. I thought that she would get tired + of me after a while and turn me loose. I gave her plenty of chances to + turn me loose. I wanted her to break the engagement instead of me. But she + wouldn't take the hints. She hung on like an Ohio Grand Army veteran to a + country post-office. About half the time I didn't read her letters, and + about nineteen twentieths of the time I didn't answer them. They say hell + hath no fury like a woman scorned. But it isn't so—it makes them all + the fonder of you. I got into the habit of thinking that while Emma might + be engaged to me, I wasn't engaged to Emma. Not but what Emma was a nice + girl, you know, but— + </p> + <p> + "Well, I met Lucy. We fell in love with each other. It just happened. I + kept intending to write to the other girl and tell her plainly that + everything was off. But I kept postponing it. It seemed like a deuce of a + hard job to tackle. + </p> + <p> + "But, finally, I did write her. That was the very day Lucy promised to + throw Prent McMakin over and marry me. You know how determined all your + people were that Lucy should marry McMakin, Tom. They had brought her up + with the idea that she was going to, and, of course, she was bored with + him for that reason. + </p> + <p> + "We decided the best plan would be to slip away quietly and get married. + We knew it would raise a row. But there was bound to be a row anyhow when + they found she intended to marry me instead of McMakin. So we figured we + might just as well be away from there. + </p> + <p> + "We left your place early on the morning of October 31, 1888—do you + remember the date, Tom? We took the train for Clarksville, Tennessee, and + got there about two o'clock that afternoon. I suppose you have been in + that interesting centre of the tobacco industry. If you have you may + remember that the courthouse of Montgomery County is right across the + street from the best hotel. I got a license and a preacher without any + trouble, and we were married in the hotel parlour that afternoon. One of + the hotel clerks and the county clerk himself were the witnesses. + </p> + <p> + "We went to Cincinnati and from there to Chicago. There we got rooms out + on the South Side—Hyde Park, they called it. And I got me a job. I + had some money left, but not enough to buy kohinoors and race-horses with. + Beside, I really wanted to get to work—wanted it for the first time + in my life. You remember young Clayton in our class? He and some other + enterprising citizens had a building and loan association. Such things are + no doubt immoral, but I went to work for him. + </p> + <p> + "We had been in Chicago a week when Lucy wrote home what she had done, and + begged forgiveness for being so abrupt about it. At least, I suppose that + is what she wrote. It was—" + </p> + <p> + "I remember exactly what she wrote," says Colonel Tom. + </p> + <p> + "I never knew exactly," says the doctor. "The same mail that brought word + from you that your grandfather had had some sort of a stroke, as a + consequence of our elopement, brought also two letters from Emma. They had + been forwarded from New York to Tennessee, and you had forwarded them to + Chicago. + </p> + <p> + "Those letters began the trouble. You see, I hadn't told Emma when I wrote + breaking off the engagement that I was going to get married the next day. + And Emma hadn't received my letter, or else had made up her mind to ignore + it. Anyhow, those letters were regular love-letters. + </p> + <p> + "I hadn't really read one of Emma's letters for months. But somehow I + couldn't help reading these. I had forgotten what a gift for the + expression of sentiment Emma had. She fairly revelled in it, Tom. Those + letters were simply writhing with clinging female adjectives. They + SQUIRMED with affection. + </p> + <p> + "You may remember that Lucy was a rather jealous sort of a person. Right + in the midst of her alarm and grief and self-reproach over her + grandfather, and in the midst of my efforts to comfort her, she spied the + feminine handwriting on those two letters. I had glanced through them + hurriedly, and laid them on the table. + </p> + <p> + "Tom, I was in bad. The dates on them, you know, were so RECENT. I didn't + want Lucy to read them. But I didn't dare to ACT as if I didn't want her + to. So I handed them over. + </p> + <p> + "I suppose—to a bride who had only been married a little more than a + week—and who had hurt her grandfather nearly to death in the + marrying, those letters must have sounded rather odd. I tried to explain. + But all my explanations only seemed to make the case worse for me. Lucy + was furiously jealous. We really had a devil of a row before we were + through with it. I tried to tell her that I loved no one but her. She + pointed out that I must have said much the same sort of thing to Emma. She + said she was almost as sorry for Emma as she was for herself. When Lucy + got through with me, Tom, I looked like thirty cents and felt like + twenty-five of that was plugged. + </p> + <p> + "I didn't have sense enough to know that it was most of it grief over her + grandfather, and nerves and hysteria, and the fact that she was only + eighteen years old and lonely, and that being a bride had a certain amount + to do with it. She had told me that I was a beast, and made me feel like + one; and I took the whole thing hard and believed her. I made a fine, + five-act tragedy out of a jealous fit I might have softened into comedy if + I had had the wit. + </p> + <p> + "I wasn't so very old myself, and I hadn't ever been married before. I + should have kept my mouth shut until it was all over, and then when she + began to cry I should have coaxed her up and made her feel like I was the + only solid thing to hang on to in the whole world. + </p> + <p> + "But the bottom had dropped out of the universe for me. She had said she + hated me. I was fool enough to believe her. I went downtown and began to + drink. I come home late that night. The poor girl had been waiting up for + me—waiting for hours, and becoming more and more frightened when I + didn't show up. She was over her jealous fit, I suppose. If I had come + home in good shape, or in anything like it, we would have made up then and + there. But my condition stopped all that. I wasn't so drunk but that I saw + her face change when she let me in. She was disgusted. + </p> + <p> + "In the morning I was sick and feverish. I was more than disgusted with + myself. I was in despair. If she had hated me before—and she had + said she did—what must she do now? It seemed to me that I had sunk + so far beneath her that it would take years to get back. It didn't seem + worth while making any plea for myself. You see, I was young and had + serious streaks all through me. So when she told me that she had written + home again, and was going back—was going to leave me, I didn't see + that it was only a bluff. I didn't see that she was really only waiting to + forgive me, if I gave her a chance. I started downtown to the building and + loan office, wondering when she would leave, and if there was anything I + could do to make her change her mind. I must repeat again that I was a + fool—that I needed only to speak one word, had I but known it. + </p> + <p> + "If I had gone straight to work, everything might have come around all + right even then. But I didn't. I had that what's-the-use feeling. And I + stopped in at the Palmer House bar to get something to sort of pull me + together. + </p> + <p> + "While I was there, who should come up to the bar and order a drink but + Prent McMakin." + </p> + <p> + "Yes!" says Colonel Tom, as near excited as he ever got. + </p> + <p> + "Yes," says Armstrong, "nobody else. We saw each other in the mirror + behind the bar. I don't know whether you ever noticed it or not, Tom, but + McMakin's eyes had a way of looking almost like cross-eyes when he was + startled or excited. They were a good deal too near together at any time. + He gave me such a look when our eyes met in the mirror that, for an + instant, I thought that he intended to do me some mischief—shoot me, + you know, for taking his bride-to-be away from him, or some fool thing + like that. But as we turned toward each other I saw he had no intention of + that sort." + </p> + <p> + "Hadn't he?" says Colonel Tom, mighty interested. + </p> + <p> + "No," says the doctor, looking at Colonel Tom very puzzled, "did you think + he had?" + </p> + <p> + "Yes, I did," says the colonel, right thoughtful. + </p> + <p> + "On the contrary," says Armstrong, "we had a drink together. And he + congratulated me. Made me quite a little speech, in fact; one of the + flowery kind, you know, Tom, and said that he bore me no rancour, and all + that." + </p> + <p> + "The deuce he did!" says Colonel Tom, very low, like he was talking to + himself. "And then what?" + </p> + <p> + "Then," says the doctor, "then—let me see—it's all a long time + ago, you know, and McMakin's part in the whole thing isn't really + important." + </p> + <p> + "I'm not so sure it isn't important," says the colonel, "but go on." + </p> + <p> + "Then," says Armstrong, "we had another drink together. In fact, a lot of + them. We got awfully friendly. And like a fool I told him of my quarrel + with Lucy." + </p> + <p> + "LIKE a fool," says Colonel Tom, nodding his head. "Go on." + </p> + <p> + "There isn't much more to tell," says the doctor, "except that I made a + worse idiot of myself yet, and left McMakin about two o'clock in the + afternoon, as near as I can recollect. Somewhere about ten o'clock that + night I went home. Lucy was gone. I haven't seen her since." + </p> + <p> + "Dave," says Colonel Tom, "did McMakin happen to mention to you, that day, + just why he was in Chicago?" + </p> + <p> + "I suppose so," says the doctor. "I don't know. Maybe not. That was twenty + years ago. Why?" + </p> + <p> + "Because," says Colonel Tom, very grim and quiet, "because your first + thought as to his intention when he met you in the bar was MY idea also. I + thought he went to Chicago to settle with you. You see, I got to Chicago + that same afternoon." + </p> + <p> + "The same day?" + </p> + <p> + "Yes. We were to have come together. But I missed the train, and he got + there a day ahead of me. He was waiting at the hotel for me to join him, + and then we were going to look you up together. He found you first and I + never did find you." + </p> + <p> + "But I don't exactly understand," says the doctor. "You say he had the + idea of shooting me." + </p> + <p> + "I don't understand everything myself," says Colonel Tom. "But I do + understand that Prent McMakin must have played some sort of a two-faced + game. He never said a word to me about having seen you. + </p> + <p> + "Listen," he goes on. "When you and Lucy ran away it nearly killed our + grandfather. In fact, it finally did kill him. When we got Lucy's letter + that told you were in Chicago I went up to bring her back home. We didn't + know what we were going to do, McMakin and I, but we were both agreed that + you needed killing. And he swore that he would marry Lucy anyhow, even—" + </p> + <p> + "MARRY HER!" sings out the doctor, "but we WERE married." + </p> + <p> + "Dave," Colonel Tom says very slow and steady, "you keep SAYING you were + married. But it's strange—it's right STRANGE about that marriage." + </p> + <p> + And he looked at the doctor hard and close, like he would drag the truth + out of him, and the doctor met his look free and open. You would of + thought Colonel Tom was saying with his look: "You MUST tell me the + truth." And the doctor with his was answering: "I HAVE told you the + truth." + </p> + <p> + "But, Tom," says the doctor, "that letter she wrote you from Chicago must—" + </p> + <p> + "Do you know what Lucy wrote?" interrupts Colonel Tom. "I remember + exactly. It was simply: 'FORGIVE ME. I LOVED HIM SO. I AM HAPPY. I KNOW IT + IS WRONG, BUT I LOVE HIM SO YOU MUST FORGIVE ME.'" + </p> + <p> + "But couldn't you tell from THAT we were married?" cries out the doctor. + </p> + <p> + "She didn't mention it," says Colonel Tom. + </p> + <p> + "She supposed that her own family had enough faith in her to take it for + granted," says the doctor, very scornful, his face getting red. + </p> + <p> + "But wait, Dave," says Colonel Tom, quiet and cool. "Don't bluster with + me. There are still a lot of things to be explained. And that marriage is + one of them. + </p> + <p> + "To go back a bit. You say you got to the house somewhere around ten + o'clock that evening and found Lucy gone. Do you remember the day of the + month?" + </p> + <p> + "It was November 14, 1888." + </p> + <p> + "Exactly," says Colonel Tom. "I got to Chicago at six o'clock of that very + day. And I went at once to the address in Lucy's letter. I got there + between seven and eight o'clock. She was gone. My thought was that you + must have got wind of my coming and persuaded her to leave with you in + order to avoid me—although I didn't see how you could know when I + would get there, either, when I thought it over." + </p> + <p> + "And you have never seen her since," says Armstrong, pondering. + </p> + <p> + "I HAVE seen her since," says Colonel Tom, "and that is one thing that + makes me say your story needs further explanation." + </p> + <p> + "But where—when—did you see her?" asts the doctor, mighty + excited. + </p> + <p> + "I am coming to that. I went back home again. And in July of the next year + I heard from her." + </p> + <p> + "Heard from her?" + </p> + <p> + "By letter. She was in Galesburg, Illinois, if you know where that is. She + was living there alone. And she was almost destitute. I wrote her to come + home. She would not. But she had to live. I got rid of some of our + property in Tennessee, and took enough cash up there with me to fix her, + in a decent sort of way, for the rest of her life, and put it in the bank. + I was with her there for ten days; then I went back home to get Aunt Lucy + Davis to help me in another effort to persuade her to return. But when I + got back North with Aunt Lucy she had gone." + </p> + <p> + "Gone?" + </p> + <p> + "Yes, and when we returned without her to Tennessee there was a letter + telling us not to try to find her. We thought—I thought—that + she might have taken up with you once again." + </p> + <p> + "But, my God! Tom," the doctor busts out, "you were with her ten days + there in Galesburg! Didn't she tell you then—couldn't you tell from + the way she acted—that she had married me?" + </p> + <p> + "That's the odd thing, Dave," says the colonel, very slow and thoughtful. + "That's what is so very strange about it all. I merely assumed by my + attitude that you were not married, and she let me assume it without a + protest." + </p> + <p> + "But did you ask her?" + </p> + <p> + "Ask her? No. Can't you see that there was no reason why I should ask her? + I was sure. And being sure of it, naturally I didn't talk about it to her. + You can understand that I wouldn't, can't you? In fact, I never mentioned + you to her. She never mentioned you to me." + </p> + <p> + "You must have mistaken her, Tom." + </p> + <p> + "I don't think it's possible, Dave," said the colonel. "You can mistake + words and explanations a good deal easier than you can mistake an + atmosphere. No, Dave, I tell you that there's something odd about it—married + or not, Lucy didn't BELIEVE herself married the last time I saw her." + </p> + <p> + "But she MUST have known," says the doctor, as much to himself as to the + colonel. "She MUST have known." Any one could of told by the way he said + it that he wasn't lying. I could see that Colonel Tom believed in him, + too. They was both sicking their intellects onto the job of figgering out + how it was Lucy didn't know. Finally the doctor says very thoughtful: + </p> + <p> + "Whatever became of Prentiss McMakin, Tom?" + </p> + <p> + "Dead," says Colonel Tom, "quite a while ago." + </p> + <p> + "H-m," says the doctor, still thinking hard. And then looks at Colonel Tom + like they was an idea in his head. Which he don't speak her out. But + Colonel Tom seems to understand. + </p> + <p> + "Yes," he says, nodding his head. "I think you are on the right track now. + Yes—I shouldn't wonder." + </p> + <p> + Well, they puts this and that together, and they agrees that whatever + happened to make things hard to explain must of happened on that day that + Prentiss McMakin met the doctor in the bar-room, and didn't shoot him, as + he had made his brags he would. Must of happened between the time that + afternoon when Prentiss McMakin left the doctor and the time Colonel Tom + went out to see his sister and found she had went. Must of happened + somehow through Prent McMakin. + </p> + <p> + We goes home with Colonel Tom that night. And the next day all three of us + is on our way to Athens, Indiany, where I had seen Miss Lucy at. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link2HCH0023" id="link2HCH0023"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + CHAPTER XXIII + </h2> + <p> + Fur my part, as the train kept getting further and further north, my + feelings kept getting more and more mixed. It come to me that I might be + steering straight fur a bunch of trouble. The feeling that sadness and + melancholy and seriousness was laying ahead of me kept me from really + enjoying them dollar-apiece meals on the train. It was Martha that done + it. All this past and gone love story I had been hearing about reminded me + of Martha. And I was steering straight toward her, and no way out of it. + How did I know but what that there girl might be expecting fur to marry + me, or something like that? Not but what I was awful in love with her + whilst we was together. But it hadn't really set in on me very deep. I + hadn't forgot about her right away. But purty soon I had got to forgetting + her oftener than I remembered her. And now it wasn't no use talking—I + jest wasn't in love with Martha no more, and didn't have no ambition to + be. I had went around the country a good bit, and got intrusted in other + things, and saw several other girls I liked purty well. Keeping steady in + love with jest one girl is mighty hard if you are moving around a good + bit. + </p> + <p> + But I was considerable worried about Martha. She was an awful romanceful + kind of girl. And even the most sensible kind is said to be fools about + getting their hearts broke and pining away and dying over a feller. I + would hate to think Martha had pined herself sick. + </p> + <p> + I couldn't shut my eyes to the fact we was engaged to each other legal, + all right. And if she wanted to act mean about it and take it to a court + it would likely be binding on me. Then I says to myself is she is mean + enough to do that I'll be derned if I don't go to jail before I marry her, + and stay there. + </p> + <p> + And then my conscience got to working inside of me agin. And a picture of + her getting thin and not eating her vittles regular and waiting and + waiting fur me to show up, and me never doing it, come to me. And I felt + sorry fur poor Martha, and thought mebby I would marry her jest to keep + her from dying. Fur you would feel purty tough if a girl was to get so + stuck on you it killed her. Not that I ever seen that really happen, + either; but first and last there has been considerable talk about it. + </p> + <p> + It wasn't but what I liked Martha well enough. It was the idea of getting + married, and staying married, made me feel so anxious. Being married may + work out all right fur some folks. But I knowed it never would work any + with me. Or not fur long. Because why should I want to be tied down to one + place, or have a steady job? That would be a mean way to live. + </p> + <p> + Of course, with a person that was the doctor's age it would be different. + He had done his running around and would be willing to settle down now, I + guessed. That is, if he could get his differences with this here Buckner + family patched up satisfactory. I wondered whether he would be able to or + not. Him and Colonel Tom were talking constant on the train all the way + up. From the little stretches of their talk I couldn't help hearing, I + guessed each one was telling the other all that had happened to him in the + time that had passed by. Colonel Tom what kind of a life he had lived, and + how he had married and his wife had died and left him a widower without + any kids. And the doctor—it was always hard fur me to get to calling + him anything but Doctor Kirby—how he had happened to start out with + a good chancet in life and turn into jest a travelling fakir. + </p> + <p> + Well, I thinks to myself now that he has got to be that, mebby her and him + won't suit so well now, even if they does get their differences patched + up. Fur all the forgiving in the world ain't going to change things, or + make them no different. But, so long as the doctor appeared to want to + find her so derned bad, I was awful glad I had been the means of getting + him and Miss Lucy together. He had done a lot fur me, first and last, the + doctor had, and I felt like it helped pay him a little. Though if they was + to settle down like married folks I would feel like a good old sport was + spoiled in the doctor, too. + </p> + <p> + We had to change cars at Indianapolis to get to that there little town. We + was due to reach it about two o'clock in the afternoon. And the nearer we + got to the place the nervouser and nervouser all three of us become. And + not owning we was. The last hour before we hit the place, I took a drink + of water every three minutes, I was so nervous. And when we come into the + town I was already standing out onto the platform. I wouldn't of been + surprised to find Martha and Miss Lucy down there to the station. But, of + course, they wasn't. Fur some reason I felt glad they wasn't. + </p> + <p> + "Now," I says to them two, as we got off the train, "foller me and I will + show you the house." + </p> + <p> + Everybody rubbers at strangers in a country town, and wonders why they + have come, and what they is selling, and if they are mebby going to start + a new grain elevator, or buy land, or what. The usual ones around the + depot rubbered at us, and I hearn one geezer say to another: + </p> + <p> + "See that big feller there? He was through here a year or two ago selling + patent medicine." + </p> + <p> + "You don't say so!" says the other one, like it was something important, + like a president or a circus had come, and his eyes a-bugging out. And the + doctor hearn them, too. Fur some reason or other he flushed up and cut a + look out of the corner of his eye at Colonel Tom. + </p> + <p> + We went right through the main street and out toward the edge of town, by + the crick, where Miss Lucy's house was. And, if anything, all of us + feeling nervouser yet. And saying nothing and not looking at each other. + And Colonel Tom rolling cigarettes and fumbling fur matches and lighting + them and slinging them away. Fur how does anybody know how women is going + to take even the most ordinary little things? + </p> + <p> + I knowed the way well enough, and where the house was, but as we went + around the turn in the road I run acrost a surprised feeling. I come onto + the place where our campfire had been them nights we was there. Looey had + drug an old fence post onto the fire one night, and the post had only + burned half up. The butt end of it, all charred and flaked, was still + laying in the grass and weeds there. It hit me with a queer feeling—like + it was only yesterday that fire had been lit there. And yet I knowed it + had been a year and a half ago. + </p> + <p> + Well, it has always been my luck to run into things without the right kind + of a lie fixed up ahead of time. They was three or four purty good stories + I had been trying over in my head to tell Martha when I seen her. Any one + of them stories might of done all right; but I hadn't decided WHICH one to + use. And, of course, I run plumb into Martha. She was standing by the + gate, which was about twenty yards from the veranda. And all four lies + popped into my head at oncet, and got so mixed up with one another there, + I seen right off it was useless to try to tell anything that sounded + straight. Besides, when you are in the fix I was in, what can you tell a + girl anyhow? + </p> + <p> + So I jest says to her: + </p> + <p> + "Hullo!" + </p> + <p> + Martha, she had been fussing around some flower bushes with a pair of + shears and gloves on. She looks up when I says that, and she sizes us all + up standing by the gate, and her eyes pops open, and so does her mouth, + and she is so surprised to see me she drops her shears. + </p> + <p> + And she looks scared, too. + </p> + <p> + "Is Miss Buckner at home?" asts Colonel Tom, lifting his hat very polite. + </p> + <p> + "Miss B-B-Buckner?" Martha stutters, very scared-like, and not taking her + eyes off of me to answer him. + </p> + <p> + "Miss Hampton, Martha," I says. + </p> + <p> + "Y-y-y-es, s-sh-she is," says Martha. I wondered what was the matter with + her. + </p> + <p> + It is always my luck to get left all alone with my troubles. The doctor + and the colonel, they walked right past us when she said yes, and up + toward the house, and left her and me standing there. I could of went + along and butted in, mebby. But I says to myself I will have the derned + thing out here and now, and know the worst. And I was so interested in my + trouble and Martha that I didn't even notice if Miss Lucy met 'em at the + door, and if so, how she acted. When I next looked up they was all in the + house. + </p> + <p> + "Martha—" I begins. But she breaks in. + </p> + <p> + "Danny," she says, looking like she is going to cry, "don't l-l-look at me + l-l-like that. If you knew ALL you wouldn't blame me. You—" + </p> + <p> + "Wouldn't blame you fur what?" I asts her. + </p> + <p> + "I know it's wrong of me," she says, begging-like. + </p> + <p> + "Mebby it is and mebby it ain't," I says. "But what is it?" + </p> + <p> + "But you never wrote to me," she says. + </p> + <p> + "You never wrote to me," I says, not wanting her to get the best of me, + whatever it was she might be talking about. + </p> + <p> + "And then HE came to town!—" + </p> + <p> + "Who?" I asts her. + </p> + <p> + "Don't you know?" she says. "The man I am going to marry." + </p> + <p> + When she said that I felt, all of a sudden, like when you are broke and + hungry and run acrost a half dollar you had forgot about in your other + pants. I was so glad I jumped. + </p> + <p> + "Great guns!" I says. + </p> + <p> + I had never really knowed what being glad was before. + </p> + <p> + "Oh, Danny, Danny," she says, putting her hands in front of her face, "and + here you have come to claim me for your bride!" + </p> + <p> + Which showed me why she had looked so scared. That there girl had went and + got engaged to another feller. And had been laying awake nights suffering + fur fear I would turn up agin. And now I had. Looey, he always said never + to trust a woman! + </p> + <p> + "Martha," I says, "you ain't acted right with me." + </p> + <p> + "Oh, Danny, Danny," she says, "I know it! I know it!" + </p> + <p> + "Some fellers in my place," I says, "would raise a dickens of a row." + </p> + <p> + "I DID love you once," she says, looking at me from between her fingers. + </p> + <p> + "Yes," says I, acting real melancholy, "you did. And now you've quit it, + they don't seem to me to be nothing left to live fur." Martha, she was an + awful romanceful girl. I got the notion that mebby she was enjoying her + own remorsefulness a little bit. I fetched a deep sigh and I says: + </p> + <p> + "Some fellers would kill theirselves on the spot!" + </p> + <p> + "Oh!—Oh!—Oh!—" says Martha. + </p> + <p> + "But, Martha," says I, "I ain't that mean. I ain't going to do that." + </p> + <p> + That dern girl ackshellay give me a disappointed look! If anything, she + was jest a bit TOO romanceful, Martha was. + </p> + <p> + "No," says I, cheering up a little, "I am going to do something they ain't + many fellers would do, Martha. I'm going to forgive you. Free and fair and + open. And give you back my half of that ring, and—" + </p> + <p> + Dern it! I had forgot I had lost that half of that there ring! I + remembered so quick it stopped me. + </p> + <p> + "You always kept it, Danny?" she asts me, very soft-spoken, so as not to + give pain to one so faithful and so noble as what I was. "Let me see it, + Danny." + </p> + <p> + I made like I was feeling through all my pockets fur it. But that couldn't + last forever. I run out of pockets purty soon. And her face begun to show + she was smelling a rat. Finally I says: + </p> + <p> + "These ain't my other clothes—it must be in them." + </p> + <p> + "Danny," she says, "I believe you LOST it." + </p> + <p> + "Martha," I says, taking a chancet, "you know you lost YOUR half!" + </p> + <p> + She owns up she has lost it a long while ago. And when she lost it, she + says, she knowed that was fate and that our love was omened in under an + evil star. And who was she, she says, to struggle agin fate? + </p> + <p> + "Martha," I says, "I'll be honest with you. Fate got away with my half too + one day when I didn't know they was crooks like her sticking around." + </p> + <p> + Well, I seen that girl seen through me then. Martha was awful smart + sometimes. And each one was so derned tickled the other one wasn't going + to do any pining away we like to of fell into love all over agin. But not + quite. Fur neither one would ever trust the other one agin. So we felt + more comfortable with each other. You ain't never comfortable with a + person you know is more honest than you be. + </p> + <p> + "But," says Martha, after a minute, "if you didn't come back to make me + marry you, what does Doctor Kirby want to see Miss Hampton about? And who + was that with him?" + </p> + <p> + I had been nigh to forgetting the main thing we had all come here fur, in + my gladness at getting rid of any danger of marrying Martha. But it come + to me all to oncet I had been missing a lot that must be taking place + inside that house. I had even missed the way they first looked when she + met 'em at the door, and I wouldn't of missed that fur a lot. And I seen + all to oncet what a big piece of news it will be to Martha. + </p> + <p> + "Martha," I says, "they ain't no Dr. Hartley L. Kirby. The man known as + such is David Armstrong!" + </p> + <p> + I never seen any one so peetrified as Martha was fur a minute. + </p> + <p> + "Yes," says I, "and the other one is Miss Lucy's brother. And they are all + three in there straightening themselves out and finding where everybody + gets off at, and why. One of these here serious times you read about. And + you and me are missing it all, like a couple of gumps. How can we hear?" + </p> + <p> + Martha says she don't know. + </p> + <p> + "You THINK," I told her. "We've wasted five good minutes already. I've GOT + to hear the rest of it. Where would they be?" + </p> + <p> + Martha guesses they will all be in the sitting room, which has got the + best chairs in it. + </p> + <p> + "What is next to it? A back parlour, or a bedroom, or what?" I was + thinking of how I happened to overhear Perfessor Booth and his fambly + that-a-way. + </p> + <p> + Martha says they is nothing like that to be tried. + </p> + <p> + "Martha," I says, "this is serious. This here story they are thrashing out + in there is the only derned sure-enough romanceful story either you or me + is ever lible to run up against personal in all our lives. It would of + been a good deal nicer if they had ast us in to see the wind-up of it. + Fur, if it hadn't of been fur me, they never would of been reunited and + rejuvenated the way they be. But some people get stingy streaks with their + concerns. You think!" + </p> + <p> + Martha, she says: "Danny, it wouldn't be honourable to listen." + </p> + <p> + "Martha," I tells her, "after the way you and me went and jilted each + other, what kind of senses of honour have WE got to brag about?" + </p> + <p> + She remembers that the spare bedroom is right over the sitting room. The + house is heated with stoves in the winter time. There is a register right + through the floor of the spare bedroom and the ceiling of the sitting + room. Not the kind of a register that comes from a twisted-around shaft in + a house that uses furnace heat. But jest really a hole in the floor, with + a cast-iron grating, to let the heat from the room below into the one + above. She says she guesses two people that wasn't so very honourable + might sneak into the house the back way, and up the back stairs, and into + the spare bedroom, and lay down on their stummicks on the floor, being + careful to make no noise, and both see and hear through that register. + Which we done it. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link2HCH0024" id="link2HCH0024"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + CHAPTER XXIV + </h2> + <p> + I could hear well enough, but at first I couldn't see any of them. But I + gathered that Miss Lucy was standing up whilst she was talking, and moving + around a bit now and then. I seen one of her sleeves, and then a wisp of + her hair. Which was aggervating, fur I wanted to know what she was like. + But her voice was so soft and quiet that you kind of knowed before you + seen her how she orter look. + </p> + <p> + "Prentiss McMakin came to me that day," she was saying, "with an appeal—I + hardly know how to tell you." She broke off. + </p> + <p> + "Go ahead, Lucy," says Colonel Tom's voice. + </p> + <p> + "He was insulting," she said. "He had been drinking. He wanted me to—to—he + appealed to me to run off with him. + </p> + <p> + "I was furious—NATURALLY." Her voice changed as she said it enough + so you could feel how furious Miss Lucy could get. She was like her + brother Tom in some ways. + </p> + <p> + "I ordered him out of the house. His answer to that was an offer to marry + me. You can imagine that I was surprised as well as angry—I was + perplexed. + </p> + <p> + "'But I AM married!' I cried. The idea that any of my own people, or any + one whom I had known at home, would think I wasn't married was too much + for me to take in all at once. + </p> + <p> + "'You THINK you are,' said Prentiss McMakin, with a smile. + </p> + <p> + "In spite of myself my breath stopped. It was as if a chilly hand had + taken hold of my heart. I mean, physically, I felt like that. + </p> + <p> + "'I AM married,' I repeated, simply. + </p> + <p> + "I suppose that McMakin had got the story of our wedding from YOU." She + stopped a minute. The doctor's voice answered: + </p> + <p> + "I suppose so," like he was a very tired man. + </p> + <p> + "Anyhow," she went on, "he knew that we went first to Clarksville. He + said: + </p> + <p> + "'You think you are married, Lucy, but you are not.' + </p> + <p> + "I wish you to understand that Prentiss McMakin did it all very, very + well. That is my excuse. He acted well. There was something about him—I + scarcely know how to put it. It sounds odd, but the truth is that Prentiss + McMakin was always a more convincing sort of a person when he had been + drinking a little than when he was sober. He lacked warmth—he lacked + temperament. I suppose just the right amount put it into him. It put the + devil into him, too, I reckon. + </p> + <p> + "He told me that you and he, Tom, had been to Clarksville, and had made + investigations, and that the wedding was a fraud. And he told it with a + wealth of convincing detail. In the midst of it he broke off to ask to see + my wedding certificate. As he talked, he laughed at it, and tore it up, + saying that the thing was not worth the paper it was on, and he threw the + pieces of paper into the grate. I listened, and I let him do it—not + that the paper itself mattered particularly. But the very fact that I let + him tear it showed me, myself, that I was believing him. + </p> + <p> + "He ended with an impassioned appeal to me to go with him. + </p> + <p> + "I showed him the door. I pretended to the last that I thought he was + lying to me. But I did not think so. I believed him. He had done it all + very cleverly. You can understand how I might—in view of what had + happened?" + </p> + <p> + I wanted to see Miss Lucy—how she looked when she said different + things, so I could make up my mind whether she was forgiving the doctor or + not. Not that I had much doubt but what they would get their personal + troubles fixed up in the end. The iron grating in the floor was held down + by four good-sized screws, one at each corner. They wasn't no filling at + all betwixt it and the iron grating that was in the ceiling of the room + below. The space was hollow. I got an idea and took out my jack-knife. + </p> + <p> + "What are you going to do?" whispers Martha. + </p> + <p> + "S-sh-sh," I says, "shut up, and you'll see." + </p> + <p> + One of the screws was loose, and I picked her out easy enough. The second + one I broke the point off of my knife blade on. Like you nearly always do + on a screw. When it snapped Colonel Tom he says: + </p> + <p> + "What's that?" He was powerful quick of hearing, Colonel Tom was. I laid + low till they went on talking agin. Then Martha slides out on tiptoe and + comes back in three seconds with one of these here little screw-drivers + they use around sewing-machines and the little oil can that goes with it. + I oils them screws and has them out in a holy minute, and lifts the + grating from the floor careful and lays it careful on the rug. + </p> + <p> + By doing all of which I could get my head and shoulders down into that + there hole. And by twisting my neck a good deal, see a little ways to each + side into the room, instead of jest underneath the grating. The doctor I + couldn't see yet, and only a little of Colonel Tom, but Miss Lucy quite + plain. + </p> + <p> + "You mean thing," Martha whispers, "you are blocking it up so I can't + hear." + </p> + <p> + "Keep still," I whispers, pulling my head out of the hole so the sound + wouldn't float downward into the room below. "You are jest like all other + women—you got too much curiosity." + </p> + <p> + "How about yourself?" says she. + </p> + <p> + "Who was it thought of taking the grating off?" I whispers back to her. + Which settles her temporary, but she says if I don't give her a chancet at + it purty soon she will tickle my ribs. + </p> + <p> + When I listens agin they are burying that there Prent McMakin. But without + any flowers. + </p> + <p> + Miss Lucy, she was half setting on, half leaning against, the arm of a + chair. Which her head was jest a bit bowed down so that I couldn't see her + eyes. But they was the beginnings of a smile onto her face. It was both + soft and sad. + </p> + <p> + "Well," says Colonel Tom, "you two have wasted almost twenty years of + life." + </p> + <p> + "There is one good thing," says the doctor. "It is a good thing that there + was no child to suffer by our mistakes." + </p> + <p> + She raised her face when he said that, Miss Lucy did, and looked in his + direction. + </p> + <p> + "You call that a good thing?" she says, in a kind of wonder. And after a + minute she sighs. "Perhaps," she says, "you are right. Heaven only knows. + Perhaps it WAS better that he died." + </p> + <p> + "DIED!" sings out the doctor. + </p> + <p> + And I hearn his chair scrape back, like he had riz to his feet sudden. I + nearly busted my neck trying fur to see him, but I couldn't. I was all + twisted up, head down, and the blood getting into my head from it so I had + to pull it out every little while. + </p> + <p> + "Yes," she says, with her eyes wide, "didn't you know he died?" And then + she turns quick toward Colonel Tom. "Didn't you tell him—" she + begins. But the doctor cuts in. + </p> + <p> + "Lucy," he says, his voice shaking and croaking in his throat, "I never + knew there was a child!" + </p> + <p> + I hears Colonel Tom hawk in HIS throat like a man who is either going to + spit or else say something. But he don't do either one. No one says + anything fur a minute. And then Miss Lucy says agin: + </p> + <p> + "Yes—he died." + </p> + <p> + And then she fell into a kind of a muse. I have been myself in the fix she + looked to be in then—so you forget fur a while where you are, or who + is there, whilst you think about something that has been in the back part + of your mind fur a long, long time. + </p> + <p> + What she was musing about was that child that hadn't lived. I could tell + that by her face. I could tell how she must have thought of it, often and + often, fur years and years, and longed fur it, so that it seemed to her at + times she could almost touch it. And how good a mother she would of been + to it. Some women has jest natcherally GOT to mother something or other. + Miss Lucy was one of that kind. I knowed all in a flash, whilst I looked + at her there, why she had adopted Martha fur her child. + </p> + <p> + It was a wonderful look that was onto her face. And it was a wonderful + face that look was onto. I felt like I had knowed her forever when I seen + her there. Like the thoughts of her the doctor had been carrying around + with him fur years and years, and that I had caught him thinking oncet or + twicet, had been my thoughts too, all my life. + </p> + <p> + Miss Lucy, she was one of the kind there's no use trying to describe. The + feller that could see her that-a-way and not feel made good by it orter + have a whaling. Not the kind of sticky, good feeling that makes you + uncomfortable, like being pestered by your conscience to jine a church or + quit cussing. But the kind of good that makes you forget they is anything + on earth but jest braveness of heart and being willing to bear things you + can't help. You knowed the world had hurt her a lot when you seen her + standing there; but you didn't have the nerve to pity her none, either. + Fur you could see she had got over pitying herself. Even when she was in + that muse, longing with all her soul fur that child she had never knowed, + you didn't have the nerve to pity her none. + </p> + <p> + "He died," she says agin, purty soon, with that gentle kind of smile. + </p> + <p> + Colonel Tom, he clears his throat agin. Like when you are awful dry. + </p> + <p> + "The truth is—" he begins. + </p> + <p> + And then he breaks off agin. Miss Lucy turns toward him when he speaks. By + the strange look that come onto her face there must of been something + right curious in HIS manner too. I was jest simply laying onto my forehead + mashing one of my dern eyeballs through a little hole in the grating. But + I couldn't, even that way, see fur enough to one side to see how HE + looked. + </p> + <p> + "The truth is," says Colonel Tom, trying it agin, "that I—well, + Lucy, the child may be dead, but he didn't die when you thought he did." + </p> + <p> + There was a flash of hope flared into her face that I hated to see come + there. Because when it died out in a minute, as I expected it would have + to, it looked to me like it might take all her life out with it. Her lips + parted like she was going to say something with them. But she didn't. She + jest looked it. + </p> + <p> + "Why did you never tell me this—that there was a child?" says the + doctor, very eager. + </p> + <p> + "Wait," says Colonel Tom, "let me tell the story in my own way." + </p> + <p> + Which he done it. It seems when he had went to Galesburg this here child + had only been born a few days. And Miss Lucy was still sick. And the kid + itself was sick, and liable to die any minute, by the looks of things. + </p> + <p> + Which Colonel Tom wishes that it would die, in his heart. He thinks that + it is an illegitimate child, and he hates the idea of it and he hates the + sight of it. The second night he is there he is setting in his sister's + room, and the woman that has been nursing the kid and Miss Lucy too is in + the next room with the kid. + </p> + <p> + She comes to the door and beckons to him, the nurse does. He tiptoes + toward her, and she says to him, very low-voiced, that "it is all over." + Meaning the kid has quit struggling fur to live, and jest natcherally + floated away. The nurse had thought Miss Lucy asleep, but as both her and + Colonel Tom turn quick toward her bed they see that she has heard and + seen, and she turns her face toward the wall. Which he tries fur to + comfort her, Colonel Tom does, telling her as how it is an illegitimate + child, and fur its own sake it was better it was dead before it ever lived + any. Which she don't answer of him back, but only stares in a wild-eyed + way at him, and lays there and looks desperate, and says nothing. + </p> + <p> + In his heart Colonel Tom is awful glad that it is dead. He can't help + feeling that way. And he quits trying to talk to his sister, fur he + suspicions that she will ketch onto the fact that he is glad that it is + dead. He goes on into the next room. + </p> + <p> + He finds the nurse looking awful funny, and bending over the dead kid. She + is putting a looking-glass to its lips. He asts her why. + </p> + <p> + She says she thought she might be mistaken after all. She couldn't say + jest WHEN it died. It was alive and feeble, and then purty soon it showed + no signs of life. It was like it hadn't had enough strength to stay and + had jest went. I didn't show any pulse, and it didn't appear to be + breathing. And she had watched it and done everything before she beckoned + to Colonel Tom and told him that it was dead. But as she come back into + the room where it was she thought she noticed something that was too light + to be called a real flutter move its eyelids, which she had closed down + over its eyes. It was the ghost of a move, like it had tried to raise the + lids, or they had tried to raise theirselves, and had been too weak. So + she has got busy and wrapped a hot cloth around it, and got a drop of + brandy or two between its lips, and was fighting to bring it back to life. + And thought she was doing it. Thought she had felt a little flutter in its + chest, and was trying if it had breath at all. + </p> + <p> + Colonel Tom thinks of what big folks the Buckner fambly has always been at + home. And how high they had always held their heads. And how none of the + women has ever been like this before. Nor no disgrace of any kind. And + that there kid, if it is alive, is a sign of disgrace. And he hoped to + God, he said, it wasn't alive. + </p> + <p> + But he don't say so. He stands there and watches that nurse fight fur to + hold onto the little mist of life she thinks now is still into it. She + unbuttons her dress and lays the kid against the heat of her own breast. + And wills fur it to live, and fights fur it to, and determines that it + must, and jest natcherally tries fur to bullyrag death into going away. + And Colonel Tom watching, and wishing that it wouldn't. But he gets + interested in that there fight, and so purty soon he is hoping both ways + by spells. And the fight all going on without a word spoken. + </p> + <p> + But finally the nurse begins fur to cry. Not because she is sure it is + dead. But because she is sure it is coming back. Which it does, slow. + </p> + <p> + "'But I have told HER that it is dead,'" says Colonel Tom, jerking his + head toward the other room where Miss Lucy is lying. He speaks in a low + voice and closes the door when he speaks. Fur it looks now like it was + getting strong enough so it might even squall a little. + </p> + <p> + "I don't know what kind of a look there was on my face," says Colonel Tom, + telling of the story to his sister and the doctor, "but she must have seen + that I was—and heaven help me, but I WAS!—sorry that the baby + was alive. It would have been such an easy way out of it had it been + really dead! + </p> + <p> + "'She mustn't know that it is living,' I said to the nurse, finally," says + Colonel Tom, going on with his story. I had been watching Miss Lucy's face + as Colonel Tom talked and she was so worked up by that fight fur the kid's + life she was breathless. But her eyes was cast down, I guess so her + brother couldn't see them. Colonel Tom goes on with his story: + </p> + <p> + "'You don't mean—' said the nurse, startled. + </p> + <p> + "'No! No!' I said, 'of course—not that! But—why should she + ever know that it didn't die?'" + </p> + <p> + "'It is illegitimate?' asked the nurse. + </p> + <p> + "'Yes,' I said." The long and short of it was, Colonel Tom went on to + tell, that the nurse went out and got her mother. Which the two of them + lived alone, only around the corner. And give the child into the keeping + of her mother, who took it away then and there. + </p> + <p> + Colonel Tom had made up his mind there wasn't going to be no bastards in + the Buckner fambly. And now that Miss Lucy thought it was dead he would + let her keep on thinking so. And that would be settled for good and all. + He figgered that it wouldn't ever hurt her none if she never knowed it. + </p> + <p> + The nurse's mother kept it all that week, and it throve. Colonel Tom was + coaxing of his sister to go back to Tennessee. But she wouldn't go. So he + had made up his mind to go back and get his Aunt Lucy Davis to come and + help him coax. He was only waiting fur his sister to get well enough so he + could leave her. She got better, and she never ast fur the kid, nor said + nothing about it. Which was probable because she seen he hated it so. He + had made up his mind, before he went back after their Aunt Lucy Davis, to + take the baby himself and put it into some kind of an institution. + </p> + <p> + "I thought," he says to Miss Lucy, telling of the story, "that you + yourself were almost reconciled to the thought that it hadn't lived." + </p> + <p> + Miss Lucy interrupted him with a little sound. She was breathing hard, and + shaking from head to foot. No one would have thought to look at her then + she was reconciled to the idea that it hadn't lived. It was cruel hard on + her to tear her to pieces with the news that it really had lived, but had + lived away from her all these years she had been longing fur it. And no + chancet fur her ever to mother it. And no way to tell what had ever become + of it. I felt awful sorry fur Miss Lucy then. + </p> + <p> + "But when I got ready to leave Galesburg," Colonel Tom goes on, "it + suddenly occurred to me that there would be difficulties in the way of + putting it in a home of any sort. I didn't know what to do with it—" + </p> + <p> + "What DID you? What DID you? WHAT DID YOU?" cries out Miss Lucy, pressing + her hand to her chest, like she was smothering. + </p> + <p> + "The first thing I did," says Colonel Tom, "was to get you to another + house—you remember, Lucy?" + </p> + <p> + "Yes, yes!" she says, excited, "and what then?" + </p> + <p> + "Perhaps I did a very foolish thing," says Colonel Tom. + </p> + <p> + "After I had seen you installed in the new place and had bidden you + good-bye, I got a carriage and drove by the place where the nurse and her + mother lived. I told the woman that I had changed my mind—that you + were going to raise the baby—that I was going to permit it. I don't + think she quite believed me, but she gave me the baby. What else could she + do? Besides, I had paid her well, when I discharged her, to say nothing to + you, and to keep the baby until I should come for it. They needed money; + they were poor. + </p> + <p> + "I was determined that it should never be heard of again. It was about + noon when I left Galesburg. I drove all that afternoon, with the baby in a + basket on the seat of the carriage beside me. Everybody has read in books, + since books were first written—and seen in newspapers, too—about + children being left on door steps. Given an infant to dispose of, that is + perhaps the first thing that occurs to a person. There was a thick plaid + shawl wrapped about the child. In the basket, beside the baby, was a + nursing bottle. About dusk I had it refilled with warm milk at a farmhouse + near—" + </p> + <p> + My head was beginning fur to swim. I pulled my head out of that there + hole, and rammed my foot into it. It banged against that grating and + loosened it. It busted loose some plaster, which showered down into the + room underneath. Miss Lucy, she screamed. And the doctor and Colonel Tom + both yelled out to oncet: + </p> + <p> + "Who's that?" + </p> + <p> + "It's me," I yells, banging that grating agin. "Watch out below there!" + And the third lick I give her she broke loose and clattered down right + onto a centre table and spilled over some photographs and a vase full of + flowers, and bounced off onto the floor. + </p> + <p> + "Look out below," I yells, "I'm coming down!" + </p> + <p> + I let my legs through first, and swung them so I would land to one side of + the table, and held by my hands, and dropped. But struck the table a + sideways swipe and turned it over, and fell onto the floor. The doctor, he + grabbed me by the collar and straightened me up, and give me a shake and + stood me onto my feet. + </p> + <p> + "What do you mean—" he begins. But I breaks in. + </p> + <p> + "Now then," I says to Colonel Tom, "did you leave that there child sucking + that there bottle on the doorstep of a blacksmith's house next to his shop + at the edge of a little country town about twenty miles northeast of + Galesburg wrapped up in that there plaid shawl?" + </p> + <p> + "I did," says Colonel Tom. + </p> + <p> + "Then," says I, turning to Miss Lucy, "I can understand why I have been + feeling drawed to YOU fur quite a spell. I'm him." + </p> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + Transcribers Note: The following changes made: + ORIGINAL + PAGE LINE ORIGINAL CHANGED TO + 17 28 Primose, Primrose, + 41 12 jests looks jest looks + 83 14 to, too, + 84 4 jests sets jest sets + 89 28 it it. + 99 13 our fur out fur + 121 4 Chieftan. Chieftain. + 121 16 i it if it + 160 8 them. then. + 183 18 sir fo' sir, fo' + 189 16 shedon' she don' + 207 22 purty seen purty soon + 210 5 They way The way + 212 6 pintetdly pintedly + 251 2 Witherses.' Witherses'. + 251 22 toe hurt to hurt + 269 3 "Gentleman, "Gentlemen, + 276 19 'Will," "Will," + 282 9 won't!" won't + 288 16 real y really + 292 10 t ouble. trouble. + 308 1 al right all right + 316 4 I says," they I says, "they +</pre> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Danny's Own Story, by Don Marquis + +*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK DANNY'S OWN STORY *** + +***** This file should be named 587-h.htm or 587-h.zip ***** +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: + http://www.gutenberg.org/5/8/587/ + +Produced by Judith Boss, and David Widger + + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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