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diff --git a/.gitattributes b/.gitattributes new file mode 100644 index 0000000..6833f05 --- /dev/null +++ b/.gitattributes @@ -0,0 +1,3 @@ +* text=auto +*.txt text +*.md text diff --git a/587-h.zip b/587-h.zip Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..7799715 --- /dev/null +++ b/587-h.zip diff --git a/587-h/587-h.htm b/587-h/587-h.htm new file mode 100644 index 0000000..b83957e --- /dev/null +++ b/587-h/587-h.htm @@ -0,0 +1,10161 @@ +<?xml version="1.0" encoding="us-ascii"?> + +<!DOCTYPE html + PUBLIC "-//W3C//DTD XHTML 1.0 Strict//EN" + "http://www.w3.org/TR/xhtml1/DTD/xhtml1-strict.dtd" > + +<html xmlns="http://www.w3.org/1999/xhtml" lang="en"> + <head> + <title> + Danny's Own Story, by Don Marquis + </title> + <style type="text/css" xml:space="preserve"> + + body { margin:5%; background:#faebd0; text-align:justify} + P { text-indent: 1em; margin-top: .25em; margin-bottom: .25em; } + H1,H2,H3,H4,H5,H6 { text-align: center; margin-left: 15%; margin-right: 15%; } + hr { width: 50%; text-align: center;} + .foot { margin-left: 20%; margin-right: 20%; text-align: justify; text-indent: -3em; font-size: 90%; } + blockquote {font-size: 97%; font-style: italic; margin-left: 10%; margin-right: 10%;} + .mynote {background-color: #DDE; color: #000; padding: .5em; margin-left: 10%; margin-right: 10%; font-family: sans-serif; font-size: 95%;} + .toc { margin-left: 10%; margin-bottom: .75em;} + .toc2 { margin-left: 20%;} + div.fig { display:block; margin:0 auto; text-align:center; } + div.middle { margin-left: 20%; margin-right: 20%; text-align: justify; } + .figleft {float: left; margin-left: 0%; margin-right: 1%;} + .figright {float: right; margin-right: 0%; margin-left: 1%;} + .pagenum {display:inline; font-size: 70%; font-style:normal; + margin: 0; padding: 0; position: absolute; right: 1%; + text-align: right;} + pre { font-style: italic; font-size: 90%; margin-left: 10%;} + +</style> + </head> + <body> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + +The Project Gutenberg EBook of Danny's Own Story, by Don Marquis + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: Danny's Own Story + +Author: Don Marquis + +Release Date: November 24, 2009 [EBook #587] +Last Updated: February 6, 2013 +Last Updated: August 2, 2016 + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ASCII + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK DANNY'S OWN STORY *** + + + + +Produced by Judith Boss, and David Widger + + + + + + +</pre> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <h1> + DANNY'S OWN STORY + </h1> + <p> + <br /> + </p> + <h2> + By Don Marquis + </h2> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <h4> + TO<br /> MY WIFE + </h4> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <blockquote> + <p class="toc"> + <big><b>CONTENTS</b></big> + </p> + <p> + <br /> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2HCH0001"> CHAPTER I </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2HCH0002"> CHAPTER II </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2HCH0003"> CHAPTER III </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2HCH0004"> CHAPTER IV </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2HCH0005"> CHAPTER V </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2HCH0006"> CHAPTER VI </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2HCH0007"> CHAPTER VII </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2HCH0008"> CHAPTER VIII </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2HCH0009"> CHAPTER IX </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2HCH0010"> CHAPTER X </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2HCH0011"> CHAPTER XI </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2HCH0012"> CHAPTER XII </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2HCH0013"> CHAPTER XIII </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2HCH0014"> CHAPTER XIV </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2HCH0015"> CHAPTER XV </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2HCH0016"> CHAPTER XVI </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2HCH0017"> CHAPTER XVII </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2HCH0018"> CHAPTER XVIII </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2HCH0019"> CHAPTER XIX </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2HCH0020"> CHAPTER XX </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2HCH0021"> CHAPTER XXI </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2HCH0022"> CHAPTER XXII </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2HCH0023"> CHAPTER XXIII </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2HCH0024"> CHAPTER XXIV </a> + </p> + </blockquote> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <br /> <br /> <a name="link2HCH0001" id="link2HCH0001"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <h2> + CHAPTER I + </h2> + <p> + HOW I come not to have a last name is a question that has always had more + or less aggervation mixed up with it. I might of had one jest as well as + not if Old Hank Walters hadn't been so all-fired, infernal bull-headed + about things in gineral, and his wife Elmira a blame sight worse, and both + of em ready to row at a minute's notice and stick to it forevermore. + </p> + <p> + Hank, he was considerable of a lusher. One Saturday night, when he come + home from the village in his usual fix, he stumbled over a basket that was + setting on his front steps. Then he got up and drawed back his foot + unsteady to kick it plumb into kingdom come. Jest then he hearn Elmira + opening the door behind him, and he turned his head sudden. But the kick + was already started into the air, and when he turns he can't stop it. And + so Hank gets twisted and falls down and steps on himself. That basket lets + out a yowl. + </p> + <p> + "It's kittens," says Hank, still setting down and staring at that there + basket. All of which, you understand, I am a-telling you from hearsay, as + the lawyers always asts you in court. + </p> + <p> + Elmira, she sings out: + </p> + <p> + "Kittens, nothing! It's a baby!" + </p> + <p> + And she opens the basket and looks in and it was me. + </p> + <p> + "Hennerey Walters," she says—picking me up, and shaking me at him + like I was a crime, "Hennerey Walters, where did you get this here baby?" + She always calls him Hennerey when she is getting ready to give him fits. + </p> + <p> + Hank, he scratches his head, for he's kind o' confuddled, and thinks mebby + he really has brought this basket with him. He tries to think of all the + places he has been that night. But he can't think of any place but Bill + Nolan's saloon. So he says: + </p> + <p> + "Elmira, honest, I ain't had but one drink all day." And then he kind o' + rouses up a little bit, and gets surprised and says: + </p> + <p> + "That a BABY you got there, Elmira?" And then he says, dignified: "So fur + as that's consarned, Elmira, where did YOU get that there baby?" + </p> + <p> + She looks at him, and she sees he don't really know where I come from. Old + Hank mostly was truthful when lickered up, fur that matter, and she knowed + it, fur he couldn't think up no lies excepting a gineral denial when + intoxicated up to the gills. + </p> + <p> + Elmira looks into the basket. They was one of them long rubber tubes + stringing out of a bottle that was in it, and I had been sucking that + bottle when interrupted. And they wasn't nothing else in that basket but a + big thick shawl which had been wrapped all around me, and Elmira often + wore it to meeting afterward. She goes inside and she looks at the bottle + and me by the light, and Old Hank, he comes stumbling in afterward and + sets down in a chair and waits to get Hail Columbia for coming home in + that shape, so's he can row back agin, like they done every Saturday + night. + </p> + <p> + Blowed in the glass of the bottle was the name: "Daniel, Dunne and + Company." Anybody but them two old ignoramuses could of told right off + that that didn't have nothing to do with me, but was jest the company that + made them kind of bottles. But she reads it out loud three or four times, + and then she says: + </p> + <p> + "His name is Daniel Dunne," she says. + </p> + <p> + "And Company," says Hank, feeling right quarrelsome. + </p> + <p> + "COMPANY hain't no name," says she. + </p> + <p> + "WHY hain't it, I'd like to know?" says Hank. "I knowed a man oncet whose + name was Farmer, and if a farmer's a name why ain't a company a name too?" + </p> + <p> + "His name is Daniel Dunne," says Elmira, quietlike, but not dodging a row, + neither. + </p> + <p> + "AND COMPANY," says Hank, getting onto his feet, like he always done when + he seen trouble coming. When Old Hank was full of licker he knowed jest + the ways to aggervate her the worst. + </p> + <p> + She might of banged him one the same as usual, and got her own eye blacked + also, the same as usual; but jest then I lets out another big yowl, and + she give me some milk. + </p> + <p> + I guess the only reason they ever kep' me at first was so they could + quarrel about my name. They'd lived together a good many years and + quarrelled about everything else under the sun, and was running out of + subjects. A new subject kind o' briskened things up fur a while. + </p> + <p> + But finally they went too far with it one time. I was about two years old + then and he was still calling me Company and her calling me Dunne. This + time he hits her a lick that lays her out and likes to kill her, and it + gets him scared. But she gets around agin after a while, and they both see + it has went too fur that time, and so they makes up. + </p> + <p> + "Elmira, I give in," says Hank. "His name is Dunne." + </p> + <p> + "No," says she, tender-like, "you was right, Hank. His name is Company." + So they pretty near got into another row over that. But they finally made + it up between em I didn't have no last name, and they'd jest call me + Danny. Which they both done faithful ever after, as agreed. + </p> + <p> + Old Hank, he was a blacksmith, and he used to lamm me considerable, him + and his wife not having any kids of their own to lick. He lammed me when + he was drunk, and he whaled me when he was sober. I never helt it up agin + him much, neither, not fur a good many years, because he got me used to it + young, and I hadn't never knowed nothing else. Hank's wife, Elmira, she + used to lick him jest about as often as he licked her, and boss him jest + as much. So he fell back on me. A man has jest naturally got to have + something to cuss around and boss, so's to keep himself from finding out + he don't amount to nothing. Leastways, most men is like that. And Hank, he + didn't amount to much; and he kind o' knowed it, way down deep in his + inmost gizzards, and it were a comfort to him to have me around. + </p> + <p> + But they was one thing he never sot no store by, and I got along now to + where I hold that up agin him more'n all the lickings he ever done. That + was book learning. He never had none himself, and he was sot agin it, and + he never made me get none, and if I'd ever asted him for any he'd of + whaled me fur that. Hank's wife, Elmira, had married beneath her, and + everybody in our town had come to see it, and used to sympathize with her + about it when Hank wasn't around. She'd tell em, yes, it was so. Back in + Elmira, New York, from which her father and mother come to our part of + Illinoise in the early days, her father had kep' a hotel, and they was + stylish kind o' folks. When she was born her mother was homesick fur all + that style and fur York State ways, and so she named her Elmira. + </p> + <p> + But when she married Hank, he had considerable land. His father had left + it to him, but it was all swamp land, and so Hank's father, he hunted + more'n he farmed, and Hank and his brothers done the same when he was a + boy. But Hank, he learnt a little blacksmithing when he was growing up, + cause he liked to tinker around and to show how stout he was. Then, when + he married Elmira Appleton, he had to go to work practising that + perfession reg'lar, because he never learnt nothing about farming. He'd + sell fifteen or twenty acres, every now and then, and they'd be high times + till he'd spent it up, and mebby Elmira would get some new clothes. + </p> + <p> + But when I was found on the door step, the land was all gone, and Hank was + practising reg'lar, when not busy cussing out the fellers that had bought + the land. Fur some smart fellers had come along, and bought up all that + swamp land and dreened it, and now it was worth seventy or eighty dollars + an acre. Hank, he figgered some one had cheated him. Which the Walterses + could of dreened theirn too, only they'd ruther hunt ducks and have fish + frys than to dig ditches. All of which I hearn Elmira talking over with + the neighbours more'n once when I was growing up, and they all says: "How + sad it is you have came to this, Elmira!" And then she'd kind o' spunk up + and say, thanks to glory, she'd kep' her pride. + </p> + <p> + Well, they was worse places to live in than that there little town, even + if they wasn't no railroad within eight miles, and only three hundred + soles in the hull copperation. Which Hank's shop and our house set in the + edge of the woods jest outside the copperation line, so's the city marshal + didn't have no authority to arrest him after he crossed it. + </p> + <p> + They was one thing in that house I always admired when I was a kid. And + that was a big cistern. Most people has their cisterns outside their + house, and they is a tin pipe takes all the rain water off the roof and + scoots it into them. Ourn worked the same, but our cistern was right in + under our kitchen floor, and they was a trap door with leather hinges + opened into it right by the kitchen stove. But that wasn't why I was so + proud of it. It was because that cistern was jest plumb full of fish—bullheads + and red horse and sunfish and other kinds. + </p> + <p> + Hank's father had built that cistern. And one time he brung home some live + fish in a bucket and dumped em in there. And they growed. And they + multiplied in there and refurnished the earth. So that cistern had got to + be a fambly custom, which was kep' up in that fambly for a habit. It was a + great comfort to Hank, fur all them Walterses was great fish eaters, + though it never went to brains. We fed em now and then, and throwed back + in the little ones till they was growed, and kep' the dead ones picked out + soon's we smelled anything wrong, and it never hurt the water none; and + when I was a kid I wouldn't of took anything fur living in a house like + that. + </p> + <p> + Oncet, when I was a kid about six years old, Hank come home from the + bar-room. He got to chasing Elmira's cat cause he says it was making faces + at him. The cistern door was open, and Hank fell in. Elmira was over to + town, and I was scared. She had always told me not to fool around there + none when I was a little kid, fur if I fell in there I'd be a corpse + quicker'n scatt. + </p> + <p> + So when Hank fell in, and I hearn him splash, being only a little feller, + and awful scared because Elmira had always made it so strong, I hadn't no + sort of unbelief but what Hank was a corpse already. So I slams the trap + door shut over that there cistern without looking in, fur I hearn Hank + flopping around down in there. I hadn't never hearn a corpse flop before, + and didn't know but what it might be somehow injurious to me, and I wasn't + going to take no chances. + </p> + <p> + So I went out and played in the front yard, and waited fur Elmira. But I + couldn't seem to get my mind settled on playing I was a horse, nor + nothing. I kep' thinking mebby Hank's corpse is going to come flopping out + of that cistern and whale me some unusual way. I hadn't never been licked + by a corpse, and didn't rightly know jest what one is, anyhow, being young + and comparitive innocent. So I sneaks back in and sets all the flatirons + in the house on top of the cistern lid. I hearn some flopping and + splashing and spluttering, like Hank's corpse is trying to jump up and is + falling back into the water, and I hearn Hank's voice, and got scareder + yet. And when Elmira come along down the road, she seen me by the gate + a-crying, and she asts me why. + </p> + <p> + "Hank is a corpse," says I, blubbering. + </p> + <p> + "A corpse!" says Elmira, dropping her coffee which she was carrying home + from the gineral store and post-office. "Danny, what do you mean?" + </p> + <p> + I seen I was to blame somehow, and I wisht then I hadn't said nothing + about Hank being a corpse. And I made up my mind I wouldn't say nothing + more. So when she grabs holt of me and asts me agin what did I mean I + blubbered harder, jest the way a kid will, and says nothing else. I wisht + I hadn't set them flatirons on that door, fur it come to me all at oncet + that even if Hank HAS turned into a corpse I ain't got any right to keep + him in that cistern. + </p> + <p> + Jest then Old Mis' Rogers, which is one of our neighbours, comes by, while + Elmira is shaking me and yelling out what did I mean and how did it happen + and had I saw it and where was Hank's corpse? + </p> + <p> + And Mis' Rogers she says, "What's Danny been doing now, Elmira?" me being + always up to something. + </p> + <p> + Elmira she turned around and seen her, and she gives a whoop and then + hollers out: "Hank is dead!" and throws her apern over her head and sets + right down in the path and boo-hoos like a baby. And I bellers louder. + </p> + <p> + Mis' Rogers, she never waited to ast nothing more. She seen she had a + piece of news, and she's bound to be the first to spread it, like they is + always a lot of women wants to be in them country towns. She run right + acrost the road to where the Alexanderses lived. Mis' Alexander, she seen + her coming and unhooked the screen door, and Mis' Rogers she hollers out + before she reached the porch: + </p> + <p> + "Hank Walters is dead." + </p> + <p> + And then she went footing it up the street. They was a black plume on her + bunnet which nodded the same as on a hearse, and she was into and out of + seven front yards in five minutes. + </p> + <p> + Mis' Alexander, she runs acrost the street to where we was, and she kneels + down and puts her arm around Elmira, which was still rocking back and + forth in the path, and she says: + </p> + <p> + "How do you know he's dead, Elmira? I seen him not more'n an hour ago." + </p> + <p> + "Danny seen it all," says Elmira. + </p> + <p> + Mis' Alexander turned to me, and wants to know what happened and how it + happened and where it happened. But I don't want to say nothing about that + cistern. So I busts out bellering fresher'n ever, and I says: + </p> + <p> + "He was drunk, and he come home drunk, and he done it then, and that's how + he done it," I says. + </p> + <p> + "And you seen him?" she says. I nodded. + </p> + <p> + "Where is he?" says she and Elmira, both to oncet. + </p> + <p> + But I was scared to say nothing about that there cistern, so I jest bawled + some more. + </p> + <p> + "Was it in the blacksmith shop?" says Mis' Alexander. I nodded my head + agin and let it go at that. + </p> + <p> + "Is he in there now?" asts Mis' Alexander. I nodded agin. I hadn't meant + to give out no untrue stories. But a kid will always tell a lie, not + meaning to tell one, if you sort of invite him with questions like that, + and get him scared the way you're acting. Besides, I says to myself, "so + long as Hank has turned into a corpse and that makes him dead, what's the + difference whether he's in the blacksmith shop or not?" Fur I hadn't had + any plain idea, being such a little kid, that a corpse meant to be dead, + and wasn't sure what being dead was like, neither, except they had + funerals over you then. I knowed being a corpse must be some sort of a big + disadvantage from the way Elmira always says keep away from that cistern + door or I'll be one. But if they was going to be a funeral in our house, + I'd feel kind o' important, too. They didn't have em every day in our + town, and we hadn't never had one of our own. + </p> + <p> + So Mis' Alexander, she led Elmira into the house, both a-crying, and Mis' + Alexander trying to comfort her, and me a tagging along behind holding + onto Elmira's skirts and sniffling into them. And in a few minutes all + them women Mis' Rogers has told come filing into that room, one at a time, + looking sad. Only Old Mis' Primrose, she was awful late getting there + because she stopped to put on her bunnet she always wore to funerals with + the black Paris lace on it her cousin Arminty White had sent her from + Chicago. + </p> + <p> + When they found out Hank had come home with licker in him and done it + himself, they was all excited, and they all crowds around and asts me how, + except two as is holding onto Elmira's hands which sets moaning in a + chair. And they all asts me questions as to what I seen him do, which if + they hadn't I wouldn't have told em the lies I did. But they egged me on + to it. + </p> + <p> + Says one woman: "Danny, you seen him do it in the blacksmith shop?" + </p> + <p> + I nodded. + </p> + <p> + "But how did he get in?" sings out another woman. "The door was locked on + the outside with a padlock jest now when I come by. He couldn't of killed + himself in there and locked the door on the outside." + </p> + <p> + I didn't see how he could of done that myself, so I begun to bawl agin and + said nothing at all. + </p> + <p> + "He must of crawled through that little side window," says another one. + "It was open when I come by, if the door WAS locked. Did you see him crawl + through the little side window, Danny?" + </p> + <p> + I nodded. They wasn't nothing else fur me to do. + </p> + <p> + "But YOU hain't tall enough to look through that there window," says + another one to me. "How could you see into that shop, Danny?" + </p> + <p> + I didn't know, so I didn't say nothing at all; I jest sniffled. + </p> + <p> + "They is a store box right in under that window," says another one. "Danny + must have clumb onto that store box and looked in after he seen Hank come + down the road and crawl through the window. Did you scramble onto the + store box and look in, Danny?" + </p> + <p> + I jest nodded agin. + </p> + <p> + "And what was it you seen him do? How did he kill himself?" they all asts + to oncet. + </p> + <p> + <i>I</i> didn't know. So I jest bellers and boo-hoos some more. Things was + getting past anything I could see the way out of. + </p> + <p> + "He might of hung himself to one of the iron rings in the jists above the + forge," says another woman. "He clumb onto the forge to tie the rope to + one of them rings, and he tied the other end around his neck, and then he + stepped off'n the forge. Was that how he done it, Danny?" + </p> + <p> + I nodded. And then I bellered louder than ever. I knowed Hank was down in + that there cistern, a corpse and a mighty wet corpse, all this time; but + they kind o' got me to thinking mebby he was hanging out in the shop by + the forge, too. And I guessed I'd better stick to the shop story, not + wanting to say nothing about that cistern no sooner'n I could help it. + </p> + <p> + Pretty soon one woman says, kind o' shivery: + </p> + <p> + "I don't want to have the job of opening the door of that blacksmith shop + the first one!" + </p> + <p> + And they all kind o' shivered then, and looked at Elmira. They says to let + some of the men open it. And Mis' Alexander, she says she'll run home and + tell her husband right off. + </p> + <p> + And all the time Elmira is moaning in that chair. One woman says Elmira + orter have a cup o' tea, which she'll lay off her bunnet and go to the + kitchen and make it fur her. But Elmira says no, she can't a-bear to think + of tea, with poor Hennerey a-hanging out there in the shop. But she was + kind o' enjoying all that fuss being made over her, too. And all the other + women says: + </p> + <p> + "Poor thing!" But all the same they was mad she said she didn't want any + tea, for they all wanted some and didn't feel free without she took it + too. Which she said she would after they'd coaxed a while and made her see + her duty. + </p> + <p> + So they all goes out to the kitchen, bringing along some of the best room + chairs, Elmira coming too, and me tagging along behind. And the first + thing they noticed was them flatirons on top of the cistern door. Mis' + Primrose, she says that looks funny. But another woman speaks up and says + Danny must of been playing with them while Elmira was over town. She says, + "Was you playing they was horses, Danny?" + </p> + <p> + I was feeling considerable like a liar by this time, but I says I was + playing horses with them, fur I couldn't see no use in hurrying things up. + I was bound to get a lamming purty soon anyhow. When I was a kid I could + always bet on that. So they picks up the flatirons, and as they picks em + up they come a splashing noise in the cistern. I thinks to myself, Hank's + corpse'll be out of there in a minute. One woman, she says: + </p> + <p> + "Goodness gracious sakes alive! What's that, Elmira?" + </p> + <p> + Elmira says that cistern is mighty full of fish, and they is some great + big ones in there, and it must be some of them a-flopping around. Which if + they hadn't of been all worked up and talking all to oncet and all + thinking of Hank's body hanging out there in the blacksmith shop they + might of suspicioned something. For that flopping kep' up steady, and a + lot of splashing too. I mebby orter mentioned sooner it had been a dry + summer and they was only three or four feet of water in our cistern, and + Hank wasn't in scarcely up to his big hairy chest. So when Elmira says the + cistern is full of fish, that woman opens the trap door and looks in. Hank + thinks it's Elmira come to get him out. He allows he'll keep quiet in + there and make believe he is drowned and give her a good scare and make + her sorry fur him. But when the cistern door is opened, he hears a lot of + clacking tongues all of a sudden like they was a hen convention on. He + allows she has told some of the neighbours, and he'll scare them too. So + Hank, he laid low. And the woman as looks in sees nothing, for it's as + dark down there as the insides of the whale what swallered Noah. But she + leaves the door open and goes on a-making tea, and they ain't skeercly a + sound from that cistern, only little, ripply noises like it might have + been fish. + </p> + <p> + Pretty soon a woman says: + </p> + <p> + "It has drawed, Elmira; won't you have a cup?" Elmira she kicked some + more, but she took hern. And each woman took hern. And one woman, + a-sipping of hern, she says: + </p> + <p> + "The departed had his good pints, Elmira." + </p> + <p> + Which was the best thing had been said of Hank in that town fur years and + years. + </p> + <p> + Old Mis' Primrose, she always prided herself on being honest, no matter + what come, and she ups and says: + </p> + <p> + "I don't believe in no hippercritics at a time like this, no more'n no + other time. The departed wasn't no good, and the hull town knowed it; and + Elmira orter feel like it's good riddance of bad rubbish and them is my + sentiments and the sentiments of rightfulness." + </p> + <p> + All the other women sings out: + </p> + <p> + "W'y, MIS' PRIMROSE! I never!" And they seemed awful shocked. But down in + underneath more of em agreed than let on. Elmira she wiped her eyes and + she said: + </p> + <p> + "Hennerey and me has had our troubles. They ain't any use in denying that, + Mis' Primrose. It has often been give and take between us and betwixt us. + And the hull town knows he has lifted his hand agin me more'n oncet. But I + always stood up to Hennerey, and I fit him back, free and fair and open. I + give him as good as he sent on this here earth, and I ain't the one to + carry no annermosities beyond the grave. I forgive Hank all the orneriness + he done me, and they was a lot of it, as is becoming unto a church member, + which he never was." + </p> + <p> + And all the women but Mis' Primrose, they says: + </p> + <p> + "Elmira Appleton, you HAVE got a Christian sperrit!" Which done her a heap + of good, and she cried considerable harder, leaking out tears as fast as + she poured tea in. Each one on em tries to find out something good to say + about Hank, only they wasn't much they could say. And Hank in that there + cistern a-listening to every word of it. + </p> + <p> + Mis' Rogers, she says: + </p> + <p> + "Afore he took to drinking like a fish, Hank Walters was as likely looking + a young feller as I ever see." + </p> + <p> + Mis' White, she says: + </p> + <p> + "Well, Hank he never was a stingy man, nohow. Often and often White has + told me about seeing Hank, after he'd sold a piece of land, treating the + hull town down in Nolan's bar-room jest as come-easy, go-easy as if it + wasn't money he orter paid his honest debts with." + </p> + <p> + They set there that-a-way telling of what good pints they could think of + fur ten minutes, and Hank a-hearing it and getting madder and madder all + the time. The gineral opinion was that Hank wasn't no good and was better + done fur, and no matter what they said them feelings kep' sticking out + through the words. + </p> + <p> + By and by Tom Alexander come busting into the house, and his wife, Mis' + Alexander, was with him. + </p> + <p> + "What's the matter with all you folks," he says. "They ain't nobody + hanging in that there blacksmith shop. I broke the door down and went in, + and it was empty." + </p> + <p> + Then they was a pretty howdy-do, and they all sings out: + </p> + <p> + "Where's the corpse?" + </p> + <p> + And some thinks mebby some one has cut it down and took it away, and all + gabbles to oncet. But for a minute no one thinks mebby little Danny has + been egged on to tell lies. Little Danny ain't saying a word. But Elmira + she grabs me and shakes me and she says: + </p> + <p> + "You little liar, you, what do you mean by that tale you told?" + </p> + <p> + I thinks that lamming is about due now. But whilst all eyes is turned on + me and Elmira, they comes a voice from that cistern. It is Hank's voice, + and he sings out: + </p> + <p> + "Tom Alexander, is that you?" + </p> + <p> + Some of the women scream, for some thinks it is Hank's ghost. But one + woman says what would a ghost be doing in a cistern? + </p> + <p> + Tom Alexander, he laughs and he says: + </p> + <p> + "What in blazes you want to jump in there fur, Hank?" + </p> + <p> + "You dern ijut!" says Hank, "you quit mocking me and get a ladder, and + when I get out'n here I'll learn you to ast what did I want to jump in + here fur!" + </p> + <p> + "You never seen the day you could do it," says Tom Alexander, meaning the + day he could lick him. "And if you feel that way about it you can stay + there fur all of me. I guess a little water won't hurt you none." And he + left the house. + </p> + <p> + "Elmira," sings out Hank, mad and bossy, "you go get me a ladder!" + </p> + <p> + But Elmira, her temper riz up too, all of a sudden. + </p> + <p> + "Don't you dare order me around like I was the dirt under your feet, + Hennerey Walters," she says. + </p> + <p> + At that Hank fairly roared, he was so mad. He says: + </p> + <p> + "Elmira, when I get out'n here I'll give you what you won't fergit in a + hurry. I hearn you a-forgiving me and a-weeping over me, and I won't be + forgive nor weeped over by no one! You go and get that ladder." + </p> + <p> + But Elmira only answers: + </p> + <p> + "You wasn't sober when you fell into there, Hennerey Walters. And now you + can jest stay in there till you get a better temper on you!" And all the + women says: "That's right, Elmira; spunk up to him!" + </p> + <p> + They was considerable splashing around in the water fur a couple of + minutes. And then, all of a sudden, a live fish come a-whirling out of + that hole, which he had ketched it with his hands. It was a big bullhead, + and its whiskers around its mouth was stiffened into spikes, and it lands + kerplump into Mis' Rogers's lap, a-wiggling, and it kind o' horns her on + the hands, and she is that surprised she faints. Mis' Primrose, she gets + up and pushes that fish back into the cistern with her foot from the floor + where it had fell, and she says right decided: + </p> + <p> + "Elmira Walters, that was Elmira Appleton, if you let Hank out'n that + cistern before he has signed the pledge and promised to jine the church + you're a bigger fool 'n I take you to be. A woman has got to make a + stand!" With that she marches out'n our house. + </p> + <p> + Then all the women sings out: + </p> + <p> + "Send fur Brother Cartwright! Send fur Brother Cartwright!" + </p> + <p> + And they sent me scooting acrost town to get him quick. Which he was the + preacher of the Baptist church and lived next to it. And I hadn't got no + lamming yet! + </p> + <p> + <a name="link2HCH0002" id="link2HCH0002"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + CHAPTER II + </h2> + <p> + I never stopped to tell but two, three folks on the way to Brother + Cartwright's, but they must of spread it quick. 'Cause when I got back + home with him it seemed like the hull town was there. It was along about + dusk by this time, and it was a prayer-meeting night at the church. Mr. + Cartwright told his wife to tell the folks what come to the prayer-meeting + he'd be back before long, and to wait fur him. Which she really told them + where he had went, and what fur. Mr. Cartwright marches right into the + kitchen. All the chairs in our house was into the kitchen, and the women + was a-talking and a-laughing, and they had sent over to Alexanderses for + their chairs and to Rogerses for theirn. Every oncet in a while they would + be a awful bust of language come up from that hole where that unreginerate + old sinner was cooped up in. + </p> + <p> + I have travelled around considerable since them days, and I have mixed up + along of many kinds of people in many different places, and some of 'em + was cussers to admire. But I never hearn such cussing before or since as + old Hank done that night. He busted his own records and riz higher'n his + own water marks for previous times. I wasn't nothing but a little kid + then, and skeercly fitten fur to admire the full beauty of it. They was + deep down cusses, that come from the heart. Looking back at it after all + these years, I can believe what Brother Cartwright said himself that + night, that it wasn't natcheral cussing and some higher power, like a + demon or a evil sperrit, must of entered into Hank's human carkis and give + that turrible eloquence to his remarks. It busted out every few minutes, + and the women would put their fingers into their ears till a spell was + over. And it was personal, too. Hank, he would listen until he hearn a + woman's voice that he knowed, and then he would let loose on her fambly, + going backwards to her grandfathers and downwards to her children's + children. If her father had once stolen a hog, or her husband done any + disgrace that got found out on him, Hank would put it all into his gineral + remarks, with trimmings onto it. + </p> + <p> + Brother Cartwright, he steps up to the hole in the floor when he first + comes in and he says, gentle-like and soothing, like a undertaker when he + tells you where to set at a home funeral: + </p> + <p> + "Brother Walters." + </p> + <p> + "Brother!" Hank yells out, "don't ye brother me, you sniffling, + psalm-singing, yaller-faced, pigeon-toed hippercrit, you! Get me a ladder, + gol dern you, and I'll come out'n here and learn you to brother me, I + will." Only that wasn't nothing to what Hank really said to that preacher; + no more like it than a little yaller, fluffy canary is like a buzzard. + </p> + <p> + "Brother Walters," says the preacher, ca'am but firm, "we have all decided + that you ain't going to come out of that cistern till you sign the + pledge." + </p> + <p> + And Hank tells him what he thinks of pledges and him and church doings, + and it wasn't purty. And he says if he was as deep in eternal fire as what + he now is in rain-water, and every fish that nibbles at his toes was a + preacher with a red-hot pitchfork a-jabbing at him, they could jab till + the hull hereafter turned into snow afore he'd ever sign nothing a man + like Mr. Cartwright give him to sign. Hank was stubborner than any mule he + ever nailed shoes onto, and proud of being that stubborn. That town was a + awful religious town, and Hank he knowed he was called the most + onreligious man in it, and he was proud of that too; and if any one called + him a heathen it jest plumb tickled him all over. + </p> + <p> + "Brother Walters," says that preacher, "we are going to pray for you." + </p> + <p> + And they done it. They brought all them chairs close up around that + cistern, in a ring, and they all kneeled down there, with their heads on + 'em, and they prayed fur Hank's salvation. They done it up in style, too, + one at a time, and the others singing out, "Amen!" every now and then, and + they shed tears down onto Hank. The front yard was crowded with men, all + a-laughing and a-talking and chawing and spitting tobacco and betting how + long Hank would hold out. Old Si Emery, that was the city marshal, and + always wore a big nickel-plated star, was out there with 'em. Si was in a + sweat, 'cause Bill Nolan, that run the bar-room, and some more of Hank's + friends, or as near friends as he had, was out in the road. They says to + Si he must arrest that preacher, fur Hank is being gradual murdered in + that there water, and he'll die if he's helt there too long, and it will + be a crime. Only they didn't come into the yard to say it amongst us + religious folks. But Si, he says he dassent arrest no one because it is + outside the town copperation; but he's considerable worried too about what + his duty orter be. + </p> + <p> + Pretty soon the gang that Mrs. Cartwright has rounded up at the + prayer-meeting comes stringing along in. They had all brung their hymn + books with them, and they sung. The hull town was there then, and they all + sung, and they sung revival hymns over Hank. And Hank he would jest cuss + and cuss. Every time he busted out into another cussing spell they would + start another hymn. Finally the men out in the front yard got warmed up + too, and begun to sing, all but Bill Nolan's crowd, and they give Hank up + for lost and went away disgusted. + </p> + <p> + The first thing you knowed they was a reg'lar revival meeting there, and + that preacher was preaching a reg'lar revival sermon. I been to more'n one + camp meeting, but fur jest natcherally taking holt of the hull human race + by the slack of its pants and dangling of it over hell-fire, I never hearn + nothing could come up to that there sermon. Two or three old backsliders + in the crowd come right up and repented all over agin on the spot. The + hull kit and biling of 'em got the power good and hard, like they does at + camp meetings and revivals. But Hank, he only cussed. He was obstinate, + Hank was, and his pride and dander had riz up. Finally he says: + </p> + <p> + "You're taking a ornery, low-down advantage o' me, you are. Let me out'n + this here cistern and I'll show you who'll stick it out longest on dry + land, dern your religious hides!" + </p> + <p> + Some of the folks there hadn't had no suppers, so after all the other + sinners but Hank had either got converted or else sneaked away, some of + the women says why not make a kind of love feast out of it, and bring some + vittles, like they does to church sociables. Because it seems likely Satan + is going to wrastle all night long, like he done with the angel Jacob, and + they ought to be prepared. So they done it. They went and they come back + with vittles and they made up hot coffee and they feasted that preacher + and theirselves and Elmira and me, all right in Hank's hearing. + </p> + <p> + And Hank was getting hungry himself. And he was cold in that water. And + the fish was nibbling at him. And he was getting cussed out and weak and + soaked full of despair. And they wasn't no way fur him to set down and + rest. And he was scared of getting a cramp in his legs, and sinking down + with his head under water and being drownded. He said afterward he'd of + done the last with pleasure if they was any way of suing that crowd fur + murder. So along about ten o'clock he sings out: + </p> + <p> + "I give in, gosh dern ye! I give in. Let me out and I'll sign your pesky + pledge!" + </p> + <p> + Brother Cartwright was fur getting a ladder and letting him climb out + right away. But Elmira, she says: + </p> + <p> + "Don't you do it, Brother Cartwright; don't you do it. You don't know Hank + Walters like I does. If he oncet gets out o' there before he's signed that + pledge, he won't never sign it." + </p> + <p> + So they fixed it up that Brother Cartwright was to write out a pledge on + the inside leaf of the Bible, and tie the Bible onto a string, and a lead + pencil onto another string, and let the strings down to Hank, and he was + to make his mark, fur he couldn't write, and they was to be pulled up + agin. Hank, he says all right, and they done it. But jest as Hank was + making his mark on the leaf of the book, that preacher done what I has + always thought was a mean trick. He was lying on the floor with his head + and shoulders into that hole as fur as he could, holding a lantern way + down into it, so as Hank could see. And jest as Hank made that mark he + spoke some words over him, and then he says: + </p> + <p> + "Now, Henry Walters, I have baptized you, and you are a member of the + church." + </p> + <p> + You'd a thought Hank would of broke out cussing agin at being took + unexpected that-a-way, fur he hadn't really agreed to nothing but signing + the pledge. But nary a cuss. He jest says: "Now, you get that ladder." + </p> + <p> + They got it, and he clumb up into the kitchen, dripping and shivering. + </p> + <p> + "You went and baptized me in that water?" he asts the preacher. The + preacher says he has. + </p> + <p> + "Then," says Hank, "you done a low-down trick on me. You knowed I has made + my brags I never jined no church nor never would jine. You knowed I was + proud of that. You knowed that it was my glory to tell of it, and that I + set a heap of store by it in every way. And now you've went and took it + away from me! You never fought it out fair and square, neither, man + playing to outlast man, like you done with this here pledge, but you + sneaked it in on me when I wasn't looking." + </p> + <p> + They was a lot of men in that crowd that thought the preacher had went too + far, and sympathized with Hank. The way he done about that hurt Brother + Cartwright in our town, and they was a split in the church, because some + said it wasn't reg'lar and wasn't binding. He lost his job after a while + and become an evangelist. Which it don't make no difference what one of + them does, nohow. + </p> + <p> + But Hank, he always thought he had been baptized reg'lar. And he never was + the same afterward. He had made his life-long brags, and his pride was + broke in that there one pertic'ler spot. And he sorrered and grieved over + it a good 'eal, and got grouchier and grouchier and meaner and meaner, and + lickered oftener, if anything. Signing the pledge couldn't hold Hank. He + was worse in every way after that night in the cistern, and took to + lamming me harder and harder. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link2HCH0003" id="link2HCH0003"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + CHAPTER III + </h2> + <p> + Well, all the lammings Hank laid on never done me any good. It seemed like + I was jest natcherally cut out to have no success in life, and no amount + of whaling could change it, though Hank, he was faithful. Before I was + twelve years old the hull town had seen it, and they wasn't nothing else + expected of me except not to be any good. + </p> + <p> + That had its handy sides to it, too. They was lots of kids there that had + to go to school, but Hank, he never would of let me done that if I had ast + him, and I never asted. And they was lots of kids considerably bothered + all the time with their parents and relations. They made 'em go to Sunday + School, and wash up reg'lar all over on Saturday nights, and put on shoes + and stockings part of the time, even in the summer, and some of 'em had to + ast to go in swimming, and the hull thing was a continuous trouble and + privation to 'em. But they wasn't nothing perdicted of me, and I done like + it was perdicted. Everybody 'lowed from the start that Hank would of made + trash out'n me, even if I hadn't showed all the signs of being trash + anyhow. And if they was devilment anywhere about that town they all says, + "Danny, he done it." And like as not I has. So I gets to be what you might + call an outcast. All the kids whose folks ain't trash, their mothers tells + 'em not to run with me no more. Which they done it all the more fur that + reason, on the sly, and it makes me more important with them. + </p> + <p> + But when I gets a little bigger, all that makes me feel kind o' bad + sometimes. It ain't so handy then. Fur folks gets to saying, when I would + come around: + </p> + <p> + "Danny, what do YOU want?" + </p> + <p> + And if I says, "Nothing," they would say: + </p> + <p> + "Well, then, you get out o' here!" + </p> + <p> + Which they needn't of been suspicioning nothing like they pertended they + did, fur I never stole nothing more'n worter millions and mush millions + and such truck, and mebby now and then a chicken us kids use to roast in + the woods on Sundays, and jest as like as not it was one of Hank's hens + then, which I figgered I'd earnt it. + </p> + <p> + Fur Hank, he had streaks when he'd work me considerable hard. He never + give me any money fur it. He loafed a lot too, and when he'd loaf I'd + loaf. But I did pick up right smart of handiness with tools around that + there shop of his'n, and if he'd ever of used me right I might of turned + into a purty fair blacksmith. But it wasn't no use trying to work fur + Hank. When I was about fifteen, times is right bad around the house fur a + spell, and Elmira is working purty hard, and I thinks to myself: + </p> + <p> + "Well, these folks has kind o' brung you up, and you ain't never done + more'n Hank made you do. Mebby you orter stick to work a little more when + they's a job in the shop, even if Hank don't." + </p> + <p> + Which I tried it fur about two or three years, doing as much work around + the shop as Hank done and mebby more. But it wasn't no use. One day when + I'm about eighteen, I seen awful plain I'll have to light out from there. + They was a circus come to town that day. I says to Hank: + </p> + <p> + "Hank, they is a circus this afternoon and agin to-night." + </p> + <p> + "So I has hearn," says Hank. + </p> + <p> + "Are you going to it?" says I. + </p> + <p> + "I mout," says Hank, "and then agin I moutn't. I don't see as it's no + consarns of yourn, nohow." I knowed he was going, though. Hank, he never + missed a circus. + </p> + <p> + "Well," I says, "they wasn't no harm to ast, was they?" + </p> + <p> + "Well, you've asted, ain't you?" says Hank. + </p> + <p> + "Well, then," says I, "I'd like to go to that there circus myself." + </p> + <p> + "They ain't no use in me saying fur you not to go," says Hank, "fur you + would go anyhow. You always does go off when you is needed." + </p> + <p> + "But I ain't got no money," I says, "and I was going to ast you could you + spare me half a dollar?" + </p> + <p> + "Great Jehosephat!" says Hank, "but ain't you getting stuck up! What's the + matter of you crawling in under the tent like you always done? First thing + I know you'll be wanting a pair of these here yaller shoes and a + stove-pipe hat." + </p> + <p> + "No," says I, "I ain't no dude, Hank, and you know it. But they is always + things about a circus to spend money on besides jest the circus herself. + They is the side show, fur instance, and they is the grand concert + afterward. I calkelated I'd take 'em all in this year—the hull dern + thing, jest fur oncet." + </p> + <p> + Hank, he looks at me like I'd asted fur a house 'n' lot, or a million + dollars, or something like that. But he don't say nothing. He jest snorts. + </p> + <p> + "Hank," I says, "I been doing right smart work around the shop fur two, + three years now. If you wasn't loafing so much you'd a noticed it more. + And I ain't never ast fur a cent of pay fur it, nor—" + </p> + <p> + "You ain't wuth no pay," says Hank. "You ain't wuth nothing but to eat + vittles and wear out clothes." + </p> + <p> + "Well," I says, "I figger I earn my vittles and a good 'eal more. And as + fur as clothes goes, I never had none but what Elmira made out'n yourn." + </p> + <p> + "Who brung you up?" asts Hank. + </p> + <p> + "You done it," says I, "and by your own say-so you done a dern poor job at + it." + </p> + <p> + "You go to that there circus," says Hank, a-flaring up, "and I'll lambaste + you up to a inch of your life. So fur as handing out money fur you to + sling it to the dogs, I ain't no bank, and if I was I ain't no ijut. But + you jest let me hear of you even going nigh that circus lot and all the + lammings you has ever got, rolled into one, won't be a measly little + sarcumstance to what you WILL get. They ain't no leather-faced young + upstart with weepin'-willow hair going to throw up to me how I brung him + up. That's gratitood fur you, that is!" says Hank. "If it hadn't of been + fur me giving you a home when I found you first, where would you of been + now?" + </p> + <p> + "Well," I says, "I might of been a good 'eal better off. If you hadn't of + took me in the Alexanderses would of, and then I wouldn't of been kep' out + of school and growed up a ignoramus like you is." + </p> + <p> + "I never had no trouble keeping you away from school, I notice," says + Hank, with a snort. "This is the first I ever hearn of you wanting to go + there." + </p> + <p> + Which was true in one way, and a lie in another. I hadn't never wanted to + go till lately, but he'd of lammed me if I had of wanted to. He always + said he would. And now I was too big and knowed it. + </p> + <p> + Well, Hank, he never give me no money, so I watches my chancet that + afternoon and slips in under the tent the same as always. And I lays low + under them green benches and wiggled through when I seen a good chancet. + The first person I seen was Hank. Of course he seen me, and he shook his + fist at me in a promising kind of way, and they wasn't no trouble + figgering out what he meant. Fur a while I didn't enjoy that circus to no + extent. Fur I was thinking that if Hank tries to lick me fur it I'll fight + him back this time, which I hadn't never fit him back much yet fur fear + he'd pick up something iron around the shop and jest natcherally lay me + cold with it. + </p> + <p> + I got home before Hank did. It was nigh sundown, and I was waiting in the + door of the shop fur Elmira to holler vittles is ready, and Hank come + along. He didn't waste no time. He steps inside the shop and he takes down + a strap and he says: + </p> + <p> + "You come here and take off your shirt." + </p> + <p> + But I jest moves away. Hank, he runs in on me, and he swings his strap. I + throwed up my arm, and it cut me acrost the knuckles. I run in on him, and + he dropped the strap and fetched me an openhanded smack plumb on the mouth + that jarred my head back and like to of busted it loose. Then I got right + mad, and I run in on him agin, and this time I got to him, and wrastled + with him. + </p> + <p> + Well, sir, I never was so surprised in all my life before. Fur I hadn't + had holt on him more'n a minute before I seen I'm stronger than Hank is. I + throwed him, and he hit the ground with considerable of a jar, and then I + put my knee in the pit of his stomach and churned it a couple. And I + thinks to myself what a fool I must of been fur better'n a year, because I + might of done this any time. I got him by the ears and I slammed his head + into the gravel a few times, him a-reaching fur my throat, and a-pounding + me with his fists, but me a-taking the licks and keeping holt. And I had a + mighty contented time fur a few minutes there on top of Hank, chuckling to + myself, and batting him one every now and then fur luck, and trying to + make him holler it's enough. But Hank is stubborn and he won't holler. And + purty soon I thinks, what am I going to do? Fur Hank will be so mad when I + let him up he'll jest natcherally kill me, without I kill him. And I was + scared, because I don't want neither one of them things to happen. Whilst + I was thinking it over, and getting scareder and scareder, and banging + Hank's head harder and harder, some one grabs me from behind. + </p> + <p> + They was two of them, and one gets my collar and one gets the seat of my + pants, and they drug me off'n him. Hank, he gets up, and then he sets down + sudden on a horse block and wipes his face on his sleeve, which they was + considerable blood come onto the sleeve. + </p> + <p> + I looks around to see who has had holt of me, and it is two men. One of + them looks about seven feet tall, on account of a big plug hat and a long + white linen duster, and has a beautiful red beard. In the road they is a + big stout road wagon, with a canopy top over it, pulled by two hosses, and + on the wagon box they is a strip of canvas. Which I couldn't read then + what was wrote on the canvas, but I learnt later it said, in big print: + </p> + <p> + SIWASH INDIAN SAGRAW. NATURE'S UNIVERSAL MEDICINAL SPECIFIC. DISCOVERED BY + DR. HARTLEY L. KIRBY AMONG THE ABORIGINES OF OREGON. + </p> + <p> + On account of being so busy, neither Hank nor me had hearn the wagon come + along the road and stop. The big man in the plug hat, he says, or they was + words to that effect, jest as serious: + </p> + <p> + "Why are you mauling the aged gent?" + </p> + <p> + "Well," says I, "he needed it considerable." + </p> + <p> + "But," says he, still more solemn, "the good book says to honour thy + father and thy mother." + </p> + <p> + "Well," I says, "mebby it does and mebby it don't. But HE ain't my father, + nohow. And he ain't been getting no more'n his come-uppings." + </p> + <p> + "Vengeance is mine, saith the Lord," the big man remarks, very serious. + Hank, he riz up then, and he says: + </p> + <p> + "Mister, be you a preacher? 'Cause if you be, the sooner you have druv on, + the better fur ye. I got a grudge agin all preachers." + </p> + <p> + That feller, he jest looks Hank over ca'am and easy and slow before he + answers, and he wrinkles up his face like he never seen anything like Hank + before. Then he fetches a kind o' aggervating smile, and he says: + </p> + <pre> + "Beneath a shady chestnut tree + The village blacksmith stands. + The smith, a pleasant soul is he + With warts upon his hands—" + </pre> + <p> + He stares at Hank hard and solemn and serious while he is saying that + poetry at him. Hank fidgets and turns his eyes away. But the feller + touches him on the breast with his finger, and makes him look at him. + </p> + <p> + "My honest friend," says the feller, "I am NOT a preacher. Not right now, + anyhow. No! My mission is spreading the glad tidings of good health. Look + at me," and he swells his chest up, and keeps a-holt of Hank's eyes with + his'n. "You behold before you the discoverer, manufacturer, and proprietor + of Siwash Indian Sagraw, nature's own remedy for Bright's Disease, + rheumatism, liver and kidney trouble, catarrh, consumption, bronchitis, + ring-worm, erysipelas, lung fever, typhoid, croup, dandruff, stomach + trouble, dyspepsia—" And they was a lot more of 'em. + </p> + <p> + "Well," says Hank, sort o' backing up as the big man come nearer and + nearer to him, jest natcherally bully-ragging him with them eyes, "I got + none of them there complaints." + </p> + <p> + The doctor he kind o' snarls, and he brings his hand down hard on Hank's + shoulder, and he says: + </p> + <p> + "There are more things betwixt Dan and Beersheba than was ever dreamt of + in thy sagacity, Romeo!" Or they was words to that effect, fur that doctor + was jest plumb full of Scripter quotations. And he sings out sudden, + giving Hank a shove that nearly pushes him over: "Man alive!" he yells, + "you DON'T KNOW what disease you may have! Many's the strong man I've seen + rejoicing in his strength at the dawn of day cut down like the grass in + the field before sunset," he says. + </p> + <p> + Hank, he's trying to look the other way, but that doctor won't let his + eyes wiggle away from his'n. He says very sharp: + </p> + <p> + "Stick out your tongue!" + </p> + <p> + Hank, he sticks her out. + </p> + <p> + The doctor, he takes some glasses out'n his pocket and puts 'em on, and he + fetches a long look at her. Then he opens his mouth like he was going to + say something, and shuts it agin like his feelings won't let him. He puts + his arm across Hank's shoulder affectionate and sad, and then he turns his + head away like they was some one dead in the fambly. Finally, he says: + </p> + <p> + "I thought so. I saw it. I saw it in your eyes when I first drove up. I + hope," he says, very mournful, "I haven't come too late!" + </p> + <p> + Hank, he turns pale. I was getting sorry fur Hank myself. I seen now why I + licked him so easy. Any one could of told from that doctor's actions Hank + was as good as a dead man already. But Hank, he makes a big effort, and he + says: + </p> + <p> + "Shucks! I'm sixty-eight years old, doctor, and I hain't never had a sick + day in my life." But he was awful uneasy too. + </p> + <p> + The doctor, he says to the feller with him: "Looey, bring me one of the + sample size." + </p> + <p> + Looey brung it, the doctor never taking his eyes off'n Hank. He handed it + to Hank, and he says: + </p> + <p> + "A whiskey glass full three times a day, my friend, and there is a good + chance for even you. I give it to you, without money and without price." + </p> + <p> + "But what have I got?" asts Hank. + </p> + <p> + "You have spinal meningitis," says the doctor, never batting an eye. + </p> + <p> + "Will this here cure me?" says Hank. + </p> + <p> + "It'll cure ANYTHING," says the doctor. + </p> + <p> + Hank he says, "Shucks," agin, but he took the bottle and pulled the cork + out and smelt it, right thoughtful. And what them fellers had stopped at + our place fur was to have the shoe of the nigh hoss's off hind foot nailed + on, which it was most ready to drop off. Hank, he done it fur a + regulation, dollar-size bottle and they druv on into the village. + </p> + <p> + Right after supper I goes down town. They was in front of Smith's Palace + Hotel. They was jest starting up when I got there. Well, sir, that doctor + was a sight. He didn't have his duster onto him, but his stove-pipe hat + was, and one of them long Prince Alferd coats nearly to his knees, and + shiny shoes, but his vest was cut out holler fur to show his biled shirt, + and it was the pinkest shirt I ever see, and in the middle of that they + was a diamond as big as Uncle Pat Hickey's wen, what was one of the town + sights. No, sir; they never was a man with more genuine fashionableness + sticking out all over him than Doctor Kirby. He jest fairly wallered in + it. + </p> + <p> + I hadn't paid no pertic'ler attention to the other feller with him when + they stopped at our place, excepting to notice he was kind of slim and + blackhaired and funny complected. But I seen now I orter of looked + closeter. Fur I'll be dad-binged if he weren't an Injun! There he set, + under that there gasoline lamp the wagon was all lit up with, with + moccasins on, and beads and shells all over him, and the gaudiest turkey + tail of feathers rainbowing down from his head you ever see, and a blanket + around him that was gaudier than the feathers. And he shined and rattled + every time he moved. + </p> + <p> + That wagon was a hull opry house to itself. It was rolled out in front of + Smith's Palace Hotel without the hosses. The front part was filled with + bottles of medicine. The doctor, he begun business by taking out a long + brass horn and tooting on it. They was about a dozen come, but they was + mostly boys. Then him and the Injun picked up some banjoes and sung a + comic song out loud and clear. And they was another dozen or so come. And + they sung another song, and Pop Wilkins, he closed up the post-office and + come over and the other two veterans of the Grand Army of the Republicans + that always plays checkers in there nights come along with him. But it + wasn't much of a crowd, and the doctor he looked sort o' worried. I had a + good place, right near the hind wheel of the wagon where he rested his + foot occasional, and I seen what he was thinking. So I says to him: + </p> + <p> + "Doctor Kirby, I guess the crowd is all gone to the circus agin to-night." + And all them fellers there seen I knowed him. + </p> + <p> + "I guess so, Rube," he says to me. And they all laughed 'cause he called + me Rube, and I felt kind of took down. + </p> + <p> + Then he lit in to tell about that Injun medicine. First off he told how he + come to find out about it. It was the father of the Injun what was with + him had showed him, he said. And it was in the days of his youthfulness, + when he was wild, and a cowboy on the plains of Oregon. Well, one night he + says, they was an awful fight on the plains of Oregon, wherever them is, + and he got plugged full of bullet holes. And his hoss run away with him + and he was carried off, and the hoss was going at a dead run, and the + blood was running down onto the ground. And the wolves smelt the blood and + took out after him, yipping and yowling something frightful to hear, and + the hoss he kicked out behind and killed the head wolf and the others + stopped to eat him up, and while they was eating him the hoss gained a + quarter of a mile. But they et him up and they was gaining agin, fur the + smell of human blood was on the plains of Oregon, he says, and the sight + of his mother's face when she ast him never to be a cowboy come to him in + the moonlight, and he knowed that somehow all would yet be well, and then + he must of fainted and he knowed no more till he woke up in a tent on the + plains of Oregon. And they was an old Injun bending over him and a + beautiful Injun maiden was feeling of his pulse, and they says to him: + </p> + <p> + "Pale face, take hope, fur we will doctor you with Siwash Injun Sagraw, + which is nature's own cure fur all diseases." + </p> + <p> + They done it. And he got well. It had been a secret among them there + Injuns fur thousands and thousands of years. Any Injun that give away the + secret was killed and rubbed off the rolls of the tribe and buried in + disgrace upon the plains of Oregon. And the doctor was made a blood + brother of the chief, and learnt the secret of that medicine. Finally he + got the chief to see as it wasn't Christian to hold back that there + medicine from the world no longer, and the chief, his heart was softened, + and he says to go. + </p> + <p> + "Go, my brother," he says, "and give to the pale faces the medicine that + has been kept secret fur thousands and thousands of years among the Siwash + Injuns on the plains of Oregon." + </p> + <p> + And he went. It wasn't that he wanted to make no money out of that there + medicine. He could of made all the money he wanted being a doctor in the + reg'lar way. But what he wanted was to spread the glad tidings of good + health all over this fair land of ourn, he says. + </p> + <p> + Well, sir, he was a talker, that there doctor was, and he knowed more + religious sayings and poetry along with it, than any feller I ever hearn. + He goes on and he tells how awful sick people can manage to get and never + know it, and no one else never suspicion it, and live along fur years and + years that-a-way, and all the time in danger of death. He says it makes + him weep when he sees them poor diluted fools going around and thinking + they is well men, talking and laughing and marrying and giving in to + marriage right on the edge of the grave. He sees dozens of 'em in every + town he comes to. But they can't fool him, he says. He can tell at a + glance who's got Bright's Disease in their kidneys and who ain't. His own + father, he says, was deathly sick fur years and years and never knowed it, + and the knowledge come on him sudden like, and he died. That was before + Siwash Injun Sagraw was ever found out about. Doctor Kirby broke down and + cried right there in the wagon when he thought of how his father might of + been saved if he was only alive now that that medicine was put up into + bottle form, six fur a five-dollar bill so long as he was in town, and + after that two dollars fur each bottle at the drug store. + </p> + <p> + He unrolled a big chart and the Injun helt it by that there gasoline lamp, + so all could see, turning the pages now and then. It was a map of a man's + inside organs and digestive ornaments and things. They was red and blue, + like each organ's own disease had turned it, and some of 'em was yaller. + And they was a long string of diseases printed in black hanging down from + each organ's picture. I never knowed before they was so many diseases nor + yet so many things to have 'em in. + </p> + <p> + Well, I was feeling purty good when that show started. But the doc, he + kep' looking right at me every now and then when he talked, and I couldn't + keep my eyes off'n him. + </p> + <p> + "Does your heart beat fast when you exercise?" he asts the crowd. "Is your + tongue coated after meals? Do your eyes leak when your nose is stopped up? + Do you perspire under your arm pits? Do you ever have a ringing in your + ears? Does your stomach hurt you after meals? Does your back ever ache? Do + you ever have pains in your legs? Do your eyes blur when you look at the + sun? Are your teeth coated? Does your hair come out when you comb it? Is + your breath short when you walk up stairs? Do your feet swell in warm + weather? Are there white spots on your finger nails? Do you draw your + breath part of the time through one nostril and part of the time through + the other? Do you ever have nightmare? Did your nose bleed easily when you + were growing up? Does your skin fester when scratched? Are your eyes gummy + in the mornings? Then," he says, "if you have any or all of these + symptoms, your blood is bad, and your liver is wasting away." + </p> + <p> + Well, sir, I seen I was in a bad way, fur at one time or another I had had + most of them there signs and warnings, and hadn't heeded 'em, and I had + some of 'em yet. I begun to feel kind o' sick, and looking at them organs + and diseases didn't help me none, either. The doctor, he lit out on + another string of symptoms, and I had them, too. Seems to me I had purty + nigh everything but fits. Kidney complaint and consumption both had a holt + on me. It was about a even bet which would get me first. I kind o' got to + wondering which. I figgered from what he said that I'd had consumption the + LONGEST while, but my kind of kidney trouble was an awful SLY kind, and it + was lible to jump in without no warning a-tall and jest natcherally wipe + me out QUICK. So I sort o' bet on the kidney trouble. But I seen I was a + goner, and I forgive Hank all his orneriness, fur a feller don't want to + die holding grudges. + </p> + <p> + Taking it the hull way through, that was about the best medicine show I + ever seen. But they didn't sell much. All the people what had any money + was to the circus agin that night. So they sung some more songs and closed + early and went into the hotel. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link2HCH0004" id="link2HCH0004"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + CHAPTER IV + </h2> + <p> + Well, the next morning I'm feeling considerable better, and think mebby + I'm going to live after all. I got up earlier'n Hank did, and slipped out + without him seeing me, and didn't go nigh the shop a-tall. Fur now I've + licked Hank oncet I figger he won't rest till he has wiped that disgrace + out, and he won't care a dern what he picks up to do it with, nuther. + </p> + <p> + They was a crick about a hundred yards from our house, in the woods, and I + went over there and laid down and watched it run by. I laid awful still, + thinking I wisht I was away from that town. Purty soon a squirrel comes + down and sets on a log and watches me. I throwed an acorn at him, and he + scooted up a tree quicker'n scatt. And then I wisht I hadn't scared him + away, fur it looked like he knowed I was in trouble. Purty soon I takes a + swim, and comes out and lays there some more, spitting into the water and + thinking what shall I do now, and watching birds and things moving around, + and ants working harder'n ever I would agin unless I got better pay fur + it, and these here tumble bugs kicking their loads along hind end to. + </p> + <p> + After a while it is getting along toward noon, and I'm feeling hungry. But + I don't want to have no more trouble with Hank, and I jest lays there. I + hearn two men coming through the underbrush. I riz up on my elbow to look, + and one of them was Doctor Kirby and the other was Looey, only Looey + wasn't an Injun this morning. + </p> + <p> + They sets down on the roots of a big tree a little ways off, with their + backs toward me, and they ain't seen me. So nacherally I listened to what + they was jawing about. They was both kind o' mad at the hull world, and at + our town in pertic'ler, and some at each other, too. The doctor, he says: + </p> + <p> + "I haven't had such rotten luck since I played the bloodhound in a Tom + Show—Were you ever an 'Uncle Tom's Cabin' artist, Looey?—and a + justice of the peace over in Iowa fined me five dollars for being on the + street without a muzzle. Said it was a city ordinance. Talk about the + gentle Rube being an easy mark! If these country towns don't get the + wandering minstrel's money one way they will another!" + </p> + <p> + "It's your own fault," says Looey, kind o' sour. + </p> + <p> + "I can't see it," says Doctor Kirby. "How did I know that all these + apple-knockers had been filled up with Sykes's Magic Remedy only two weeks + ago? I may have been a spiritualistic medium in my time now and then," he + says, "and a mind reader, too, but I'm no prophet." + </p> + <p> + "I ain't talking about the business, Doc, and you know it," says Looey. + "We'd be all right and have our horses and wagon now if you'd only stuck + to business and not got us into that poker game. Talk about suckers! Doc, + for a man that has skinned as many of 'em as you have, you're the worst + sucker yourself I ever saw." + </p> + <p> + The doctor, he cusses the poker game and country towns and medicine shows + and the hull creation and says he is so disgusted with life he guesses + he'll go and be a preacher or a bearded lady in a sideshow. But Looey, he + don't cheer up none. He says: + </p> + <p> + "All right, Doc, but it's no use talking. You can TALK all right. We all + know that. The question is how are we going to get our horses and wagon + away from these Rubes?" + </p> + <p> + I listens some more, and I seen them fellers was really into bad trouble. + Doctor Kirby, he had got into a poker game at Smith's Palace Hotel the + night before, right after the show. He had won from Jake Smith, which run + it, and from the others. But shucks! it never made no difference what you + won in that crowd. They had done Doctor Kirby and Looey like they always + done a drummer or a stranger that come along to that town and was fool + enough to play poker with them. They wasn't a chancet fur an outsider. If + the drummer lost, they would take his money and that would be all they was + to it. But if the drummer got to winning good, some one would slip out'n + the hotel and tell Si Emery, which was the city marshal. And Si would get + Ralph Scott, that worked fur Jake Smith in his livery stable, and pin a + star onto Ralph, too. And they would be arrested fur gambling, only them + that lived in our town would get away. Which Si and Ralph was always + scared every time they done it. Then the drummer, or whoever it was, would + be took to the calaboose, and spend all night there. + </p> + <p> + In the morning they would be took before Squire Matthews, that was justice + of the peace. They would be fined a big fine, and he would get all the + drummer had won and all he had brung to town with him besides. Squire + Matthews and Jake Smith and Windy Goodell and Mart Watson, which the two + last was lawyers, was always playing that there game on drummers that was + fool enough to play poker. Hank, he says he bet they divided it up + afterward, though it was supposed them fines went to the town. Well, they + played a purty closte game of poker in our little town. It was jest like + the doctor says to Looey: + </p> + <p> + "By George," he says, "it is a well-nigh perfect thing. If you lose you + lose, and if you win you lose." + </p> + <p> + Well, the doctor, he had started out winning the night before. And Si + Emery and Ralph Scott had arrested them. And that morning, while I had + been laying by the crick and the rest of the town was seeing the fun, they + had been took afore Squire Matthews and fined one hundred and twenty-five + dollars apiece. The doctor, he tells Squire Matthews it is an outrage, and + it ain't legal if tried in a bigger court, and they ain't that much money + in the world so fur as he knows, and he won't pay it. But, the squire, he + says the time has come to teach them travelling fakirs as is always + running around the country with shows and electric belts and things that + they got to stop dreening that town of hard-earned money, and he has + decided to make an example of 'em. The only two lawyers in town is Windy + and Mart, which has been in the poker game theirselves, the same as + always. The doctor says the hull thing is a put-up job, and he can't get + the money, and he wouldn't if he could, and he'll lay in that town + calaboose and rot the rest of his life and eat the town poor before he'll + stand it. And the squire says he'll jest take their hosses and wagon fur + c'latteral till they make up the rest of the two hundred and fifty + dollars. And the hosses and wagon was now in the livery stable next to + Smith's Palace Hotel, which Jake run that too. + </p> + <p> + Well, I thinks to myself, it IS a dern shame, and I felt sorry fur them + two fellers. Fur our town was jest as good as stealing that property. And + I felt kind o' shamed of belonging to such a town, too. And I thinks to + myself, I'd like to help 'em out of that scrape. And then I seen how I + could do it, and not get took up fur it, neither. So, without thinking, + all of a sudden I jumps up and says: + </p> + <p> + "Say, Doctor Kirby, I got a scheme!" + </p> + <p> + They jumps up too, and they looks at me startled. Then the doctor kind o' + laughs and says: + </p> + <p> + "Why, it's the young blacksmith!" + </p> + <p> + Looey, he says, looking at me hard and suspicious: + </p> + <p> + "What kind of a scheme are you talking about?" + </p> + <p> + "Why," says I, "to get that outfit of yourn." + </p> + <p> + "You've been listening to us," says Looey. Looey was one of them + quiet-looking fellers that never laughed much nor talked much. Looey, he + never made fun of nobody, which the doctor was always doing, and I + wouldn't of cared to make fun of Looey much, either. + </p> + <p> + "Yes," I says, "I been laying here fur quite a spell, and quite natcheral + I listened to you, as any one else would of done. And mebby I can get that + team and wagon of yourn without it costing you a cent." + </p> + <p> + Well, they didn't know what to say. They asts me how, but I says to leave + it all to me. "Walk right along down this here crick," I says, "till you + get to where it comes out'n the woods and runs acrost the road in under an + iron bridge. That's about a half a mile east. Jest after the road crosses + the bridge it forks. Take the right fork and walk another half a mile and + you'll see a little yaller-painted schoolhouse setting lonesome on a sand + hill. They ain't no school in it now. You wait there fur me," I says, "fur + a couple of hours. After that if I ain't there you'll know I can't make + it. But I think I'll make it." + </p> + <p> + They looks at each other and they looks at me, and then they go off a + little piece and talk low, and then the doctor says to me: + </p> + <p> + "Rube," he says, "I don't know how you can work anything on us that hasn't + been worked already. We've got nothing more we can lose. You go to it, + Rube." And they started off. + </p> + <p> + So I went over town. Jake Smith was setting on the piazza in front of his + hotel, chawing and spitting tobacco, with his feet agin the railing like + he always done, and one of his eyes squinched up and his hat over the + other one. + </p> + <p> + "Jake," I says, "where's that there doctor?" + </p> + <p> + Jake, he spit careful afore he answered, and he pulled his long, scraggly + moustache careful, and he squinched his eyes at me. Jake was a careful man + in everything he done. + </p> + <p> + "I dunno, Danny," he says. "Why?" + </p> + <p> + "Well," I says, "Hank sent me over to get that wagon and them hosses of + theirn and finish that job." + </p> + <p> + "That there wagon," says Jake, "is in my barn, with Si Emery watching her, + and she has got to stay there till the law lets her loose." I figgered to + myself Jake could use that team and wagon in his business, and was going + to buy her cheap offn the town, what share of her he didn't figger he + owned already. + </p> + <p> + "Why, Jake," I says, "I hope they ain't been no trouble of no kind that + has drug the law into your barn!" + </p> + <p> + "Well, Danny," he says, "they HAS been a little trouble. But it's about + over, now, I guess. And that there outfit belongs to the town now." + </p> + <p> + "You don't say so!" says I, surprised-like. "When I seen them men last + night it looked to me like they was too fine dressed to be honest." + </p> + <p> + "I don't think they be, Danny," says Jake, confidential. "In my opinion + they is mighty bad customers. But they has got on the wrong side of the + law now, and I guess they won't stay around here much longer." + </p> + <p> + "Well," says I, "Hank will be glad." + </p> + <p> + "Fur what?" asts Jake. + </p> + <p> + "Well," says I, "because he got his pay in advance fur that job and now he + don't have to finish it. They come along to our place about sundown + yesterday, and we nailed a shoe on one hoss. They was a couple of other + hoofs needed fixing, and the tire on one of the hind wheels was beginning + to rattle loose." + </p> + <p> + I had noticed that loose tire when I was standing by the hind wheel the + night before, and it come in handy now. So I goes on: + </p> + <p> + "Hank, he allowed he'd fix the hull thing fur six bottles of that Injun + medicine. Elmira has been ailing lately, and he wanted it fur her. So they + handed Hank out six bottles then and there." + </p> + <p> + "Huh!" says Jake. "So the job is all paid fur, is it?" + </p> + <p> + "Yes," says I, "and I was expecting to do it myself. But now I guess I'll + go fishing instead. They ain't no other job in the shop." + </p> + <p> + "I'll be dinged if you've got time to fish," says Jake. "I'm expecting + mebby to buy that rig off the town myself when the law lets loose of it. + So if the fixing is paid fur, I want everything fixed." + </p> + <p> + "Jake," says I, kind of worried like, "I don't want to do it without that + doctor says to go ahead." + </p> + <p> + "They ain't his'n no longer," says Jake. + </p> + <p> + "I dunno," says I, "as you got any right to make me do it, Jake. It don't + look to me like it's no harm to beat a couple of fellers like them out of + their medicine. And I DID want to go fishing this afternoon." + </p> + <p> + But Jake was that careful and stingy he'd try to skin a hoss twicet if it + died. He's bound to get that job done, now. + </p> + <p> + "Danny," he says, "you gotto do that work. It ain't HONEST not to. What a + young feller like you jest starting out into life wants to remember is to + always be honest. Then," says Jake, squinching up his eyes, "people trusts + you and you get a good chancet to make money. Look at this here hotel and + livery stable, Danny. Twenty years ago I didn't have no more'n you've got, + Danny. But I always went by them mottoes—hard work and being honest. + You GOTTO nail them shoes on, Danny, and fix that wheel." + </p> + <p> + "Well, all right, Jake," says I, "if you feel that way about it. Jest give + me a chaw of tobacco and come around and help me hitch 'em up." + </p> + <p> + Si Emery was there asleep on a pile of straw guarding that property. But + Ralph Scott wasn't around. Si didn't wake up till we had hitched 'em up. + He says he will ride around to the shop with me. But Jake says: + </p> + <p> + "It's all right, Si. I'll go over myself and fetch 'em back purty soon." + Which Si was wore out with being up so late the night before, and goes + back to sleep agin right off. + </p> + <p> + Well, sir, they wasn't nothing went wrong. I drove slow through the + village and past our shop. Hank come to the door of it as I went past. But + I hit them hosses a lick, and they broke into a right smart trot. Elmira, + she come onto the porch and I waved my hand at her. She put her hand up to + her forehead to shut out the sun and jest stared. She didn't know I was + waving her farewell. Hank, he yelled something at me, but I never hearn + what. I licked them hosses into a gallop and went around the turn of the + road. And that's the last I ever seen or hearn of Hank or Elmira or that + there little town. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link2HCH0005" id="link2HCH0005"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + CHAPTER V + </h2> + <p> + I slowed down when I got to the schoolhouse, and both them fellers piled + in. + </p> + <p> + "I guess I better turn north fur about a mile and then turn west, Doctor + Kirby," I says, "so as to make a kind of a circle around that town." + </p> + <p> + "Why, so, Rube?" he asts me. + </p> + <p> + "Well," I says, "we left it going east, and they'll foller us east; so + don't we want to be going west while they're follering east?" + </p> + <p> + Looey, he agreed with me. But he said it wouldn't be much use, fur we + would likely be ketched up with and took back and hung or something, + anyhow. Looey could get the lowest in his sperrits sometimes of any man I + ever seen. + </p> + <p> + "Don't be afraid of that," says the doctor. "They are not going to follow + us. THEY know they didn't get this property by due process of law. THEY + aren't going to take the case into a county court where it will all come + out about the way they robbed a couple of travelling men with a fake + trial." + </p> + <p> + "I guess you know more about the law'n I do," I says. "I kind o' thought + mebby we stole them hosses." + </p> + <p> + "Well," he says, "we got 'em, anyhow. And if they try to arrest us without + a warrant there'll be the deuce to pay. But they aren't going to make any + more trouble. I know these country crooks. They've got no stomach for + trouble outside their own township." + </p> + <p> + Which made me feel considerable better, fur I never been of the opinion + that going agin the law done any one no good. + </p> + <p> + They looks around in that wagon, and all their stuff was there—Jake + Smith and the squire having kep' it all together careful to make things + seem more legal, I suppose—and the doctor was plumb tickled, and + Looey felt as cheerful as he ever felt about anything. So the doctor says + they has everything they needs but some ready money, and he'll get that + sure, fur he never seen the time he couldn't. + </p> + <p> + "But, Looey," he says, "I'm done with country hotels from now on. They've + got the last cent they ever will from me—at least in the summer + time." + </p> + <p> + "How you going to work it?" Looey asts him, like he hasn't no hopes it + will work right. + </p> + <p> + "Camp out," says the doctor. "I've been thinking it all over." Then he + turns to me. "Rube," he says, "where are you going?" + </p> + <p> + "Well," I says, "I ain't pinted nowhere in pertic'ler except away from + that town we just left. Which my name ain't Rube, Doctor Kirby, but + Danny." + </p> + <p> + "Danny what?" asts he. + </p> + <p> + "Nothing," says I, "jest Danny." + </p> + <p> + "Well, then, Danny," says he, "how would you like to be an Indian?" + </p> + <p> + "Medical?" asts I, "or real?" + </p> + <p> + "Like Looey," says he. + </p> + <p> + I tells him being a medical Injun and mixed up with a show like his'n + would suit me down to the ground, and asts him what is the main duties of + one besides the blankets and the feathers. + </p> + <p> + "Well," he says, "this camping-out scheme of mine will take a couple of + Indians. Instead of paying hotel and feed bills we'll pitch our tent," he + says, "at the edge of town in each sweet Auburn of the plains. We'll save + money and we'll be near the throbbing heart of nature. And an Indian camp + in each place will be a good advertisement for the Sagraw. You can look + after the horses and learn to do the cooking and that kind o' thing. And + maybe after while," he says, kind o' working himself up to where he + thought it was going to be real nice, "maybe after while I will give you + some insight into the hidden mysteries of selling Siwash Indian Sagraw." + </p> + <p> + "Well," says I, "I'd like to learn that." + </p> + <p> + "Would you?" says he, kind o' laughing at himself and me too, and yet kind + o' enthusiastic, "well, then, the first thing you have to do is learn how + to sell corn salve. Any one that can sell corn salve can sell anything. + There's a farmhouse right over there, and I'll give you your first lesson + right now. Rummage around in that satchel there under the seat and get me + a tin box and some corn salve labels." + </p> + <p> + I found a lot of labels, and some boxes too. The labels was all different + sizes, but barring that they all looked about the same to me. Whilst I was + sizing them up he asts me agin was they any corn salve ones in there. + </p> + <p> + "What colour label is it, Doctor Kirby?" I asts him. Fur they was blue + labels and white labels and pink labels. + </p> + <p> + He looks at me right queer. "Can't you read the labels?" he says, right + sharp. + </p> + <p> + "Well," I says, "I never been much of a reader when it comes to different + kind of medicines." + </p> + <p> + "Corn salve is spelled only one way," says he. + </p> + <p> + "That's right," I says, "and you'd think I orter be able to pick out a + common, ordinary thing like corn salve right off, wouldn't you?" + </p> + <p> + "Danny," he says, "you don't mean to tell me you can't read anything at + all?" + </p> + <p> + "I never told you nothing of the kind." + </p> + <p> + He picks out a label. + </p> + <p> + "If you can read so fast, what's that?" he asts. + </p> + <p> + She is a pink one. I thinks to myself; she either is corn salve or else + she ain't corn salve. And it ain't natcheral he will pick corn salve, fur + he would think I would say that first off. So I'm betting it ain't. I + takes a chancet on it. + </p> + <p> + "That," says I, "is mighty easy reading. That is Siwash Injun Sagraw." I + lost. + </p> + <p> + "It's corn salve," he says. "And Great Scott! They call this the twentieth + century!" + </p> + <p> + "I never called it that," says I, sort o' mad-like. Fur I was feeling bad + Doctor Kirby had found out I was such a ignoramus. + </p> + <p> + "Where ignorance is bliss," says he, "it is folly to be wise. But all the + same, I'm going to take your education in hand and make you drink of + life's Peruvian springs." Or some spring like that it was. + </p> + <p> + And the doctor, he done it. Looey said it wouldn't be no use learning to + read. He'd done a lot of reading, he said, and it never helped him none. + All he ever read showed him this feller Hamlet was right, he said, when he + wrote Shakespeare's works, and they wasn't much use in anything, without + you had a lot o' money. And they wasn't no chancet to get that with all + these here trusts around gobbling up everything and stomping the poor man + into the dirt, and they was lots of times he wisht he was a Injun sure + enough, and not jest a medical one, fur then he'd be a free man and the + bosses and the trusts and the railroads and the robber tariff couldn't + touch him. And then he shut up, and didn't say nothing fur a hull hour, + except oncet he laughed. + </p> + <p> + Fur Doctor Kirby, he says, winking at me: "Looey, here, is a nihilist." + </p> + <p> + "Is he," says I, "what's that?" And the doctor tells me about how they + blow up dukes and czars and them foreign high-mucky-mucks with dynamite. + Which is when Looey laughed. + </p> + <p> + Well, we jogged along at a pretty good gait fur several hours, and we + stayed that night at a Swede's place, which the doctor paid him fur + everything in medicine, only it took a long time to make the bargain, fur + them Swedes is always careful not to get cheated, and hasn't many + diseases. And the next night we showed in a little town, and done right + well, and took in considerable money. We stayed there three days and + bought a tent and a sheet-iron stove and some skillets and things and some + provisions, and a suit of duds for me. + </p> + <p> + Well, we went on, and we kept going on, and they was bully times. We'd + ease up careful toward a town, and pick us out a place on the edge, where + the hosses could graze along the side of the road; and most ginerally by a + piece of woods not fur from that town, and nigh a crick, if we could. Then + we'd set up our tent. After we had everything fixed, I'd put on my Injun + clothes and Looey his'n, and we'd drive through the main store street of + the town at a purty good lick, me a-holt of the reins, and the doctor all + togged out in his best clothes, and Looey doing a Injun dance in the midst + of the wagon. I'd pull up the hosses sudden in front of the post-office or + the depot platform or the hotel, and the people would come crowding + around, and the doctor he'd make a little talk from the wagon, and tell + everybody they would be a free show that night on that corner, and fur + everybody to come to it. And then we'd drive back to camp, lickitysplit. + </p> + <p> + Purty soon every boy in town would be out there, kind o' hanging around, + to see what a Injun camp was like. And the farmers that went into and out + of town always stopped and passed the time of day, and the Injun camp got + the hull town all worked up as a usual thing; and the doctor, he done + well, fur when night come every one would be on hand. Looey and me, every + time we went into town, had on our Injun suits, and the doctor, he + wondered why he hadn't never thought up that scheme before. Sometimes, + when they was lots of people ailing in a town, and they hadn't been no + show fur quite a while, we'd stay five or six days, and make a good + clean-up. The doctor, he sent to Chicago several times fur alcohol in + barrels, 'cause he was selling it so fast he had to make new Sagraw. And + he had to get more and more bottles, and a hull satchel full of new Sagraw + labels printed. + </p> + <p> + And all the time the doctor was learning me education. And shucks! they + wasn't nothing so hard about it oncet you'd got started in to reading + things. I jest natcherally took to print like a duck to water, and inside + of a month I was reading nigh everything that has ever been wrote. He had + lots of books with him and every time a new sockdologer of a word come + along and I learnt how to spell her and where she orter fit in to make + sense it kind o' tickled me all over. And many's the time afterward, when + me and the doctor had lost track of each other, and they was quite a spell + people got to thinking I was a tramp, I've went into these here Andrew + Carnegie libraries in different towns jest as much to see if they had + anything fitten to read as fur to keep warm. + </p> + <p> + Well, we went easing over toward the Indiany line, and we was having a + purty good time. They wasn't no work to do you could call really hard, and + they was plenty of vittles. Afternoons we'd lazy around the camp and swap + stories and make medicine if we needed a batch, and josh back and forth + with the people that hung around, and loaf and doze and smoke; or mebby do + a little fishing if we was nigh a crick. + </p> + <p> + And nights after the show was over it was fun, too. We always had a fire, + even if it was a hot night, fur to cook by in the first place, and fur to + keep mosquitoes off, and to make things seem more cheerful. They ain't + nothing so good as hanging round a campfire. And they ain't nothing any + better than sleeping outdoors, neither. You roll up in your blanket with + your feet to the fire and you get to wondering things about things afore + you go to sleep. The silentness jest natcherally swamps everything after a + while, and then all them queer little noises you never hear in the daytime + comes popping and poking through the silentness, or kind o' scratching + their way through it sometimes, and makes it kind o' feel more silent than + ever. And if you are nigh a crick, purty soon it will sort of get to + talking to you, only you can't make out what it's trying to say, and you + get to wondering about that, too. And if you are in a tent and it rains + and the tent don't leak, that rain is a kind of a nice thing to listen to + itself. But if you can see the stars you get to wondering more'n ever. + They come out and they is so many of them and they are so fur away, and + yet they are so kind o' friendly-like, too, if you happen to be feeling + purty good. But if you ain't feeling purty good, jest lay there and look + at them stars long enough; and then mebby you'll see it don't make no + difference whether you're feeling good or not, fur they got a way o' + making your private troubles look mighty small. And you get to wondering + why that is, too, fur they ain't human; and it don't stand to reason you + orter pay no attention to them, one way nor the other. They is jest there, + like trees and cricks and hills. But I have often noticed that the things + that is jest there has got a way of seeming more friendly than the things + that has been built and put there. You can look at a big iron bridge or a + grain elevator or a canal all day long, and if you're feeling blue it + don't help you none. It was jest put there. Or a hay stack is the same + way. But you go and lazy around in the grass when you're down on your luck + and kind o' make remarks to a crick or a big, old walnut tree, and before + long it gets you to feeling like it didn't make no difference how you + felt, anyhow; fur you don't amount to nothing by the side of something + that was always there. You get to thinking how the hull world itself was + always here, and you sort o' see they ain't nothing important enough about + yourself to worry about, and presently you will go to sleep and forget it. + The doctor says to me one time them stars ain't any different from this + world, and this is one of them. Which is a fool idea, as any one can see. + He had a lot of queer ideas like that, Doctor Kirby had. But they ain't + nothing like sleeping out of doors nights to make you wonder the kind of + wonderings you never will get any answer to. + </p> + <p> + Well, I never cared so much fur houses after them days. They was bully + times, them was. And I was kind of proud of being with a show, too. Many's + the time I have went down the street in that there Injun suit, and seen + how the young fellers would of give all they owned to be me. And every now + and then you would hear one say when you went past: + </p> + <p> + "Huh, I know him! That's one of them show fellers!" + </p> + <p> + One afternoon we pitches our tent right on the edge of a little town + called Athens. We was nigh the bank of a crick, and they was a grove + there. We was camped jest outside of a wood-lot fence, and back in through + the trees from us they was a house with a hedge fence all around it. They + was apple trees and all kind of flower bushes and things inside of the + hedge. The second day we was there I takes a walk back through the + wood-lot, and along past the house, and they was one of these here early + harvest apple trees spilling apples through a gap in the fence. Them is a + mighty sweet and juicy kind of apple, and I picks one up and bites into + it. + </p> + <p> + "I think you might have asked for it," says some one. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link2HCH0006" id="link2HCH0006"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + CHAPTER VI + </h2> + <p> + I looks up, and that was how I got acquainted with Martha. She was eating + one herself, setting up in the tree like a boy. In her lap was a book she + had been reading. She was leaning back into the fork two limbs made so as + not to tumble. + </p> + <p> + "Well," I says, "can I have one?" + </p> + <p> + "You've eaten it already," she says, "so there isn't any use begging for + it now." + </p> + <p> + I seen she was a tease, that girl, and I would of give anything to of been + able to tease her right back agin. But I couldn't think of nothing to say, + so I jest stands there kind o' dumb like, thinking what a dern purty girl + she was, and thinking how dumb I must look, and I felt my face getting + red. Doctor Kirby would of thought of something to say right off. And + after I got back to camp I would think of something myself. But I couldn't + think of nothing bright, so I says: + </p> + <p> + "Well, then, you give me another one!" + </p> + <p> + She gives the core of the one she has been eating a toss at me. But I + ketched it, and made like I was going to throw it back at her real hard. + She slung up her arm, and dodged back, and she dropped her book. + </p> + <p> + I thinks to myself I'll learn that girl to get sassy and make me feel like + a dumb-head, even if she is purty. So I don't say a word. I jest picks up + that book and sticks it under my arm and walks away slow with it to where + they was a stump a little ways off, not fur from the crick, and sets down + with my back to her and opens it. And I was trying all the time to think + of something smart to say to her. But I couldn't of done it if I was to be + shot. Still, I thinks to myself, no girl can sass me and not get sassed + back, neither. + </p> + <p> + I hearn a scramble behind me which I knowed was her getting out of that + tree. And in a minute she was in front of me, mad. + </p> + <p> + "Give me my book," she says. + </p> + <p> + But I only reads the name of the book out loud, fur to aggervate her. I + had on purty good duds, but I kind of wisht I had on my Injun rig then. + You take the girls that always comes down to see the passenger train come + into the depot in them country towns and that Injun rig of mine and + Looey's always made 'em turn around and look at us agin. I never wisht I + had on them Injun duds so hard before in my life. But I couldn't think of + nothing bright to say, so I jest reads the name of that book over to + myself agin, kind o' grinning like I got a good joke I ain't going to tell + any one. + </p> + <p> + "You give me my book," she says agin, red as one of them harvest apples, + "or I'll tell Miss Hampton you stole it and she'll have you and your show + arrested." + </p> + <p> + I reads the name agin. It was "The Lost Heir." I seen I had her good and + teased now, so I says: "It must be one of these here love stories by the + way you take on over it." + </p> + <p> + "It's not," she says, getting ready to cry. "And what right have you got + in our wood-lot, anyhow?" + </p> + <p> + "Well," I says, "I was jest about to move on and climb out of it when you + hollered to me from that tree." + </p> + <p> + "I didn't!" she says. But she was mad because she knowed she HAD spoke to + me first, and she was awful sorry she had. + </p> + <p> + "I thought I hearn you holler," I says, "but I guess it must of been a + squirrel." I said it kind o' sarcastic like, fur I was still mad with + myself fur being so dumb when we first seen each other. I hadn't no idea + it would hurt her feelings as hard as it did. But all of a sudden she + begins to wink, and her chin trembled, and she turned around short, and + started to walk off slow. She was mad with herself fur being ketched in a + lie, and she was wondering what I would think of her fur being so bold as + to of spoke first to a feller she didn't know. + </p> + <p> + I got up and follered her a little piece. And it come to me all to oncet I + had teased her too hard, and I was down on myself fur it. + </p> + <p> + "Say," I says, kind of tagging along beside of her, "here's your old + book." + </p> + <p> + But she didn't make no move to take it, and her hands was over her face, + and she wouldn't pull 'em down to even look at it. + </p> + <p> + So I tried agin. + </p> + <p> + "Well," I says, feeling real mean, "I wisht you wouldn't cry. I didn't go + to make you do that." + </p> + <p> + She drops her hands and whirls around on me, mad as a wet hen right off. + </p> + <p> + "I'm not! I'm not!" she sings out, and stamps her feet. "I'm not crying!" + But jest then she loses her holt on herself and busts out and jest + natcherally bellers. "I hate you!" she says, like she could of killed me. + </p> + <p> + That made me kind of dumb agin. Fur it come to me all to oncet I liked + that girl awful well. And here I'd up and made her hate me. I held the + book out to her agin and says: + </p> + <p> + "Well, I'm mighty sorry fur that, fur I don't feel that-a-way about you + a-tall. Here's your book." + </p> + <p> + Well, sir, she snatches that book and she gives it a sling. I thought it + was going kersplash into the crick. But it didn't. It hit right into the + fork of a limb that hung down over the crick, and it all spread out when + it lit, and stuck in that crotch somehow. She couldn't of slung it that + way on purpose in a million years. We both stands and looks at it a + minute. + </p> + <p> + "Oh, oh!" she says, "what have I done? It's out of the town library and + I'll have to pay for it." + </p> + <p> + "I'll get it fur you," I says. But it wasn't no easy job. If I shook that + limb it would tumble into the crick. But I clumb the tree and eased out on + that limb as fur as I dast to. And, of course, jest as I got holt of the + book, that limb broke and I fell into the crick. But I had the book. It + was some soaked, but I reckoned it could still be read. + </p> + <p> + I clumb out and she was jest splitting herself laughing at me. The wet on + her face where she had cried wasn't dried up yet, and she was laughing + right through it, kind o' like the sun does to one of these here May + rainstorms sometimes, and she was the purtiest girl I ever seen. Gosh!—how + I was getting to like that girl! And she told me I looked like a drowned + rat. + </p> + <p> + Well, that was how Martha and me was interduced. She wasn't more'n + sixteen, and when she found out I was a orphan she was glad, fur she was + one herself. Which Miss Hampton that lived in that house had took her to + raise. And when I tells her how I been travelling around the country all + summer she claps her hands and she says: + </p> + <p> + "Oh, you are on a quest! How romantic!" + </p> + <p> + I asts her what is a quest. And she tells me. She knowed all about them, + fur Martha was considerable of a reader. Some of them was longer and some + of them was shorter, them quests, but mostly, Martha says, they was fur a + twelvemonth and a day. And then you are released from your vow and one of + these here queens gives you a whack over the shoulder with a sword and + says: "Arise, Sir Marmeluke, I dub you a night." And then it is legal fur + you to go out and rescue people and reform them and spear them if they + don't see things your way, and come between husband and wife when they + row, and do a heap of good in the world. Well, they was other kind of + quests too, but mostly you married somebody, or was dubbed a night, or + found the party you was looking fur, in the end. And Martha had it all + fixed up in her own mind I was in a quest to find my father. Fur, says + she, he is purty certain to be a powerful rich man and more'n likely a + earl. + </p> + <p> + The way I was found, Martha says, kind o' pints to the idea they was a + earl mixed up in it somewhere. She had read a lot about earls, and knew + their ways. Mebby my mother was a earl's daughter. Earl's daughters is the + worst fur leaving you out in baskets, going by what Martha said. It is a + kind of a habit with them, fur they is awful proud people. But it was a + lucky way to start life, from all she said, that basket way. There was + Moses was left out that way, and when he growed up he was made a kind of a + president of the hull human race, the same as Ruzevelt, and figgered out + the twelve commandments. Martha would of give anything if she could of + only been found in a basket like me, I could see that. But she wasn't. She + had jest been left a orphan when her folks died. They wasn't even no hopes + she had been changed at birth fur another one. But I seen down in under + everything Martha kind o' thought mebby one of them nights might come + a-prancing along and wed her in spite of herself, or she would be carried + off, or something. She was a very romanceful kind of girl. + </p> + <p> + When I seen she had it figgered out I was in a quest fur some + high-mucky-muck fur a dad, I didn't tell her no different. I didn't take + much stock in them earls and nights myself. So fur as I could see they was + all furriners of one kind or another. But that thing of being into a quest + kind of interested me, too. + </p> + <p> + "How would I know him if I was to run acrost him?" I asts her. + </p> + <p> + "You would feel an Intangible Something," she says, "drawing you toward + him." + </p> + <p> + I asts her what kind of a something. I make out from what she says it is + some like these fellers that can find water with a piece of witch hazel + switch. You take a switch of it between your thumbs and point it up. Then + you shut your eyes and walk backwards. When you get over where the water + is the witch hazel stick twists around and points to the ground. You dig + there and you get a good well. Nobody knows jest why that stick is drawed + to the ground. It is like one of these little whirlygig compasses is + drawed to the north. It is the same, Martha says, if you is on a quest fur + a father or a mother, only you have got to be worthy of that there quest, + she says. The first time you meet the right one you are drawed jest like + the witch hazel. That is the Intangible Something working on you, she + says. Martha had learnt a lot about that. The book that had fell in the + crick was like that. She lent it to me. + </p> + <p> + Well, that all sounded kind of reasonable to me. I seen that witch hazel + work myself. Old Blindy Wolfe, whose eyes had been dead fur so many years + they had turned plumb white, had that gift, and picked out all the places + fur wells that was dug in our neighbourhood at home. And I makes up my + mind I will watch out fur that feeling of being drawed wherever I goes + after this. You can't tell what will come of them kind of things. So purty + soon Martha has to milk the cow, and I goes along back to camp thinking + about that quest and about what a purty girl she is, which we had set + there talking so long it was nigh sundown and my clothes had dried onto + me. + </p> + <p> + When I got over to camp I seen they must be something wrong. Looey was + setting in the grass under the wagon looking kind of sour and kind of + worried and watching the doctor. The doctor was jest inside the tent, and + he was looking queer too, and not cheerful, which he was usually. + </p> + <p> + The doctor looks at me like he don't skeercly know me. Which he don't. He + has one of them quiet kind of drunks on. Which Looey explains is bound to + come every so often. He don't do nothing mean, but jest gets low-sperrited + and won't talk to no one. Then all of a sudden he will go down town and + walk up and down the main streets, orderly, but looking hard into people's + faces, mostly women's faces. Oncet, Looey says, they was big trouble over + it. They was in a store in a good-sized town, and he took hold of a + woman's chin, and tilted her face back, and looked at her hard, and most + scared her to death, and they was nearly being a riot there. And he was + jailed and had to pay a big fine. Since then Looey always follers him + around when he is that-a-way. + </p> + <p> + Well, that night Doctor Kirby is too fur gone fur us to have our show. He + jest sets and stares and stares at the fire, and his eyes looks like they + is another fire inside of his head, and he is hurting outside and in. + Looey and me watches him from the shadders fur a long time before we turns + in, and the last thing I seen before I went to sleep was him setting there + with his face in his hands, staring, and his lips moving now and then like + he was talking to himself. + </p> + <p> + The next day he is asleep all morning. But that day he don't drink any + more, and Looey says mebby it ain't going to be one of the reg'lar + pifflicated kind. I seen Martha agin that day, too—twicet I has + talks with her. I told her about the doctor. + </p> + <p> + "Is he into a quest, do you think?" I asts her. + </p> + <p> + She says she thinks it is remorse fur some crime he has done. But I + couldn't figger Doctor Kirby would of done none. So that night after the + show I says to him, innocent-like: + </p> + <p> + "Doctor Kirby, what is a quest?" He looks at me kind of queer. + </p> + <p> + "Wherefore," says he, "this sudden thirst for enlightenment?" + </p> + <p> + "I jest run acrost the word accidental-like," I told him. + </p> + <p> + He looks at me awful hard, his eyes jest natcherally digging into me. I + felt like he knowed I had set out to pump him. I wisht I hadn't tried it. + Then he tells me a quest is a hunt. And I'm glad that's over with. But it + ain't. Fur purty soon he says: + </p> + <p> + "Danny, did you ever hear of Lady Clara Vere de Vere?" + </p> + <p> + "No," I says, "who is she?" + </p> + <p> + "A lady friend of Lord Tennyson's," he says, "whose manners were above + reproach." + </p> + <p> + "Well," I says, "she sounds kind of like a medicine to me." + </p> + <p> + "Lady Clara," he says, "and all the other Vere de Veres, were people with + manners we should try to imitate. If Lady Clara had been here last night + when I was talking to myself, Danny, her manners wouldn't have let her + listen to what I was talking about." + </p> + <p> + "I didn't listen!" I says. Fur I seen what he was driving at now with them + Vere de Veres. He thought I had ast him what a quest was because he was on + one. I was certain of that, now. He wasn't quite sure what he had been + talking about, and he wanted to see how much I had hearn. I thinks to + myself it must be a awful funny kind of hunt he is on, if he only hunts + when he is in that fix. But I acted real innocent and like my feelings was + hurt, and he believed me. Purty soon he says, cheerful like: + </p> + <p> + "There was a girl talking to you to-day, Danny." + </p> + <p> + "Mebby they was," I says, "and mebby they wasn't." But I felt my face + getting red all the same, and was mad because it did. He grinned kind of + aggervating at me and says some poetry at me about in the spring a young + man's frenzy likely turns to thoughts of love. + </p> + <p> + "Well," I says, kind of sheepish-like, "this is summer-time, and purty + nigh autumn." Then I seen I'd jest as good as owned up I liked Martha, and + was kind of mad at myself fur that. But I told him some more about her, + too. Somehow I jest couldn't help it. He laughs at me and goes on into the + tent. + </p> + <p> + I laid there and looked at the fire fur quite a spell, outside the tent. I + was thinking, if all them tales wasn't jest dern foolishness, how I wisht + I would really find a dad that was a high-muckymuck and could come back in + an automobile and take her away. I laid there fur a long, long time; it + must of been fur a couple of hours. I supposed the doctor had went to + sleep. + </p> + <p> + But all of a sudden I looks up, and he is in the door of the tent staring + at me. I seen he had been in there at it hard agin, and thinking, + quiet-like, all this time. He stood there in the doorway of the tent, with + the firelight onto his face and his red beard, and his arms stretched out, + holding to the canvas and looking at me strange and wild. Then he moved + his hand up and down at me, and he says: + </p> + <p> + "If she's fool enough to love you, treat her well—treat her well. + For if you don't, you can never run away from the hell you'll carry in + your own heart." + </p> + <p> + And he kind of doubled up and pitched forward when he said that, and if I + hadn't ketched him he would of fell right acrost the fire. He was plumb + pifflicated. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link2HCH0007" id="link2HCH0007"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + CHAPTER VII + </h2> + <p> + Martha wouldn't of took anything fur being around Miss Hampton, she said. + Miss Hampton was kind of quiet and sweet and pale looking, and nobody ever + thought of talking loud or raising any fuss when she was around. She had + enough money of her own to run herself on, and she kep' to herself a good + deal. She had come to that town from no one knowed where, years ago, and + bought that place. Fur all of her being so gentle and easy and talking + with one of them soft, drawly kind of voices, Martha says, no one had ever + dared to ast her about herself, though they was a lot of women in that + town that was wishful to. + </p> + <p> + But Martha said she knowed what Miss Hampton's secret was, and she hadn't + told no one, neither. Which she told me, and all the promising I done + about not telling would of made the cold chills run up your back, it was + so solemn. Miss Hampton had been jilted years ago, Martha said, and the + name of the jilter was David Armstrong. Well, he must of been a low down + sort of man. Martha said if things was only fixed in this country like + they ought to be, she would of sent a night to find that David Armstrong. + And that would of ended up in a mortal combat, and the night would have + cleaved him. + </p> + <p> + "Yes," says I, "and then you would of married that there night, I + suppose." + </p> + <p> + She says she would of. + </p> + <p> + "Well," says I, "mebby you would of and mebby you wouldn't of. If he + cleaved David Armstrong, that night would likely be arrested fur it." + </p> + <p> + Martha says if he was she would wait outside his dungeon keep fur years + and years, till she was a old woman with gray in her hair, and every day + they would give lingering looks at each other through the window bars. And + they would be happy thata-way. And she would get her a white dove and + train it so it would fly up to that window and take in notes to him, and + he would send notes back that-away, and they would both be awful sad and + romanceful and contented doing that-a-way fur ever and ever. + </p> + <p> + Well, I never took no stock in them mournful ways of being happy. I + couldn't of riz up to being a night fur Martha. She expected too much of + one. I thought it over fur a little spell without saying anything, and I + tried to make myself believe I would of liked all that dove business. But + it wasn't no use pertending. I knowed I would get tired of it. + </p> + <p> + "Martha," I says, "mebby these here nights is all right, and mebby they + ain't. I never seen one, and I don't know. And, mind you, I ain't saying a + word agin their way of acting. I can't say how I would of been myself, if + I had been brung up like them. But it looks to me, from some of the things + you've said about 'em, they must have a dern fool streak in 'em + somewheres." + </p> + <p> + I was kind of jealous of them nights, I guess, or I wouldn't of run 'em + down that-a-way behind their backs. But the way she was always taking on + over them was calkelated to make me see I wasn't knee-high to a duck in + Martha's mind when one of them nights popped into her head. When I run 'em + down that-a-way, she says to the blind all things is blind, and if I had + any chivalry into me myself I'd of seen they wasn't jest dern fools, but + noble, and seen it easy. And she sighed, like she'd looked fur better + things from me. When I hearn her do that I felt sorry I hadn't come up to + her expectances. So I says: + </p> + <p> + "Martha, it's no use pertending I could stay in one of them jails and keep + happy at it. I got to be outdoors. But I tell you what I can do, if it + will make you feel any better. If I ever happen to run acrost this here + David Armstrong, and he is anywheres near my size, I'll lick him fur you. + And if he's too hefty fur me to lick him fair," I says, "and I get a good + chancet I will hit him with a piece of railroad iron fur you." + </p> + <p> + Of course, I knowed I would never find him. But what I said seemed to + brighten her up a little. + </p> + <p> + "But," says I, "if I went too fur with it, and was hung fur it, how would + you feel then, Martha?" + </p> + <p> + Well, sir, that didn't jar Martha none. She looked kind of dreamy and said + mebby she would go and jine a convent and be a nun. And when she got to be + the head nun she would build a chapel over the tomb where I was buried in. + And every year, on the day of the month I was hung on, she would lead all + the other nuns into that chapel, and the organ would play mournful, and + each nun as passed would lay down a bunch of white roses onto my tomb. I + reckon that orter made me feel good, but somehow it didn't. + </p> + <p> + So I changed the subject, and asts her why I ain't seen Miss Hampton + around the place none. Martha says she has a bad sick headache and ain't + been outside the house fur four or five days. I asts her why she don't + wait on her. But she don't want her to, Martha says. She's been staying in + the house ever since we been in town, and jest wants to be let alone. I + thinks all that is kind of funny. And then I seen from the way Martha is + answering my questions that she is holding back something she would like + to tell, but don't think she orter tell. I leaves her alone and purty soon + she says: + </p> + <p> + "Do you believe in ghosts?" + </p> + <p> + I tell her sometimes I think I don't believe in 'em, and sometimes I think + I do, but anyhow I would hate to see one. I asts her why does she ast. + </p> + <p> + "Because," she says, "because—but I hadn't ought to tell you." + </p> + <p> + "It's daylight," I says; "it's no use being scared to tell now." + </p> + <p> + "It ain't that," she says, "but it's a secret." + </p> + <p> + When she said it was a secret, I knowed she would tell. Martha liked + having her friends help her to keep a secret. + </p> + <p> + "I think Miss Hampton has seen one," she says, finally, "and that her + staying indoors has something to do with that." + </p> + <p> + Then she tells me. The night of the day after we camped there, her and + Miss Hampton was out fur a walk. We didn't have any show that night. They + passed right by our camp, and they seen us there by the fire, all three of + us. But they was in the road in the dark, and we was all in the light, so + none of the three of us seen them. Miss Hampton was kind of scared of us, + first glance, fur she gasped and grabbed holt of Martha's arm all of a + sudden so tight she pinched it. Which it was very natcheral that she would + be startled, coming across three strange men all of a sudden at night + around a turn in the road. They went along home, and Martha went inside + and lighted a lamp, but Miss Hampton lingered on the porch fur a minute. + Jest as she lit the lamp Martha hearn another little gasp, or kind of + sigh, from Miss Hampton out there on the porch. Then they was the sound of + her falling down. Martha ran out with the lamp, and she was laying there. + She had fainted and keeled over. Martha said jest in the minute she had + left her alone on the porch was when Miss Hampton must of seen the ghost. + Martha brung her to, and she was looking puzzled and wild-like both to + oncet. Martha asts her what is the matter. + </p> + <p> + "Nothing," she says, rubbing her fingers over her forehead in a helpless + kind of way, "nothing." + </p> + <p> + "You look like you had seen a ghost," Martha tells her. + </p> + <p> + Miss Hampton looks at Martha awful funny, and then she says mebby she HAS + seen a ghost, and goes along upstairs to bed. And since then she ain't + been out of the house. She tells Martha it is a sick headache, but Martha + says she knows it ain't. She thinks she is scared of something. + </p> + <p> + "Scared?" I says. "She wouldn't see no more ghosts in the daytime." + </p> + <p> + Martha says how do I know she wouldn't? She knows a lot about ghosts of + all kinds, Martha does. + </p> + <p> + Horses and dogs can see them easier than humans, even in the daytime, and + it makes their hair stand up when they do. But some humans that have the + gift can see them in the daytime like an animal. And Martha asts me how + can I tell but Miss Hampton is like that? + </p> + <p> + "Well, then," I says, "she must be a witch. And if she is a witch why is + she scared of them a-tall?" + </p> + <p> + But Martha says if you have second sight you don't need to be a witch to + see them in the daytime. + </p> + <p> + Well, you can never tell about them ghosts. Some says one thing and some + says another. Old Mis' Primrose, in our town, she always believed in 'em + firm till her husband died. When he was dying they fixed it up he was to + come back and visit her. She told him he had to, and he promised. And she + left the front door open fur him night after night fur nigh a year, in all + kinds of weather; but Primrose never come. Mis' Primrose says he never + lied to her, and he always done jest as she told him, and if he could of + come she knowed he would; and when he didn't she quit believing in ghosts. + But they was others in our town said it didn't prove nothing at all. They + said Primrose had really been lying to her all his life, because she was + so bossy he had to lie to keep peace in the fambly, and she never ketched + on. Well, if I was a ghost and had of been Mis' Primrose's husband when I + was a human, I wouldn't of come back neither, even if she had of + bully-ragged me into one of them death-bed promises. I guess Primrose + figgered he had earnt a rest. + </p> + <p> + If they is ghosts, what comfort they can get out of coming back where they + ain't wanted and scaring folks is more'n I can see. It's kind of low down, + I think, and foolish too. Them kind of ghosts is like these here overgrown + smart alecs that scares kids. They think they are mighty cute, but they + ain't. They are jest foolish. A human, or a ghost either, that does things + like that is jest simply got no principle to him. I hearn a lot of talk + about 'em, first and last, and I ain't ready to say they ain't no ghosts, + nor yet ready to say they is any. To say they is any is to say something + that is too plumb unlikely. And too many people has saw them fur me to say + they ain't any. But if they is, or they ain't, so fur as I can see, it + don't make much difference. Fur they never do nothing, besides scaring + you, except to rap on tables and tell fortunes, and such fool things. + Which a human can do it all better and save the expense of paying money to + one of these here sperrit mediums that travels around and makes 'em + perform. But all the same they has been nights I has felt different about + 'em myself, and less hasty to run 'em down. Well, it don't do no good to + speak harsh of no one, not even a ghost or a ordinary dead man, and if I + was to see a ghost, mebby I would be all the scareder fur what I have jest + wrote. + </p> + <p> + Well, with all the talking back and forth we done about them ghosts we + couldn't agree. That afternoon it seemed like we couldn't agree about + anything. I knowed we would be going away from there before long, and I + says to myself before I go I'm going to have that girl fur my girl, or + else know the reason why. No matter what I was talking about, that idea + was in the back of my head, and somehow it kind of made me want to pick + fusses with her, too. We was setting on a log, purty deep into the woods, + and there come a time when neither of us had said nothing fur quite a + spell. But after a while I says: + </p> + <p> + "Martha, we'll be going away from here in two, three days now." + </p> + <p> + She never said nothing. + </p> + <p> + "Will you be sorry?" I asts her. + </p> + <p> + She says she will be sorry. + </p> + <p> + "Well," I says, "WHY will you be sorry?" + </p> + <p> + I thought she would say because <i>I</i> was going. And then I would be + finding out whether she liked me a lot. But she says the reason she will + be sorry is because there will be no one new to talk to about things both + has read. I was considerable took down when she said that. + </p> + <p> + "Martha," I says, "it's more'n likely I won't never see you agin after I + go away." + </p> + <p> + She says that kind of parting comes between the best of friends. + </p> + <p> + I seen I wasn't getting along very fast, nor saying what I wanted to say. + I reckon one of them Sir Marmeluke fellers would of knowed what to say. Or + Doctor Kirby would. Or mebby even Looey would of said it better than I + could. So I was kind of mad with myself, and I says, mean-like: + </p> + <p> + "If you don't care, of course, I don't care, neither." + </p> + <p> + She never answered that, so I gets up and makes like I am starting off. + </p> + <p> + "I was going to give you some of them there Injun feathers of mine to + remember me by," I tells her, "but if you don't want 'em, there's plenty + of others would be glad to take 'em." + </p> + <p> + But she says she would like to have them. + </p> + <p> + "Well," I says, "I will bring them to you tomorrow afternoon." + </p> + <p> + She says, "Thank you." + </p> + <p> + Finally I couldn't stand it no longer. I got brave all of a sudden, and + busted out: "Martha, I—I—I—" + </p> + <p> + But I got to stuttering, and my braveness stuttered itself away. And I + finishes up by saying: + </p> + <p> + "I like you a hull lot, Martha." Which wasn't jest exactly what I had + planned fur to say. + </p> + <p> + Martha, she says she kind of likes me, too. + </p> + <p> + "Martha," I says, "I like you more'n any girl I ever run acrost before." + </p> + <p> + She says, "Thank you," agin. The way she said it riled me up. She said it + like she didn't know what I meant, nor what I was trying to get out of me. + But she did know all the time. I knowed she did. She knowed I knowed it, + too. Gosh-dern it, I says to myself, here I am wasting all this time jest + TALKING to her. The right thing to do come to me all of a sudden, and like + to took my breath away. But I done it. I grabbed her and I kissed her. + </p> + <p> + Twice. And then agin. Because the first was on the chin on account of her + jerking her head back. And the second one she didn't help me none. But the + third time she helped me a little. And the ones after that she helped me + considerable. + </p> + <p> + Well, they ain't no use trying to talk about the rest of that afternoon. I + couldn't rightly describe it if I wanted to. And I reckon it's none of + anybody's business. + </p> + <p> + Well, it makes you feel kind of funny. You want to go out and pick on + somebody about four sizes bigger'n you are and knock the socks off'n him. + It stands to reason others has felt that-a-way, but you don't believe it. + You want to tell people about it one minute. The next minute you have got + chills and ague fur fear some one will guess it. And you think the way you + are about her is going to last fur always. + </p> + <p> + That evening, when I was cooking supper, I laughed every time I was spoke + to. When Looey and I was hitching up to drive down town to give the show, + one of the hosses stepped on his foot and I laughed at that, and there was + purty nigh a fight. And I was handling some bottles and broke one and cut + my hand on a piece of glass. I held it out fur a minute dumb-like, with + the blood and medicine dripping off of it, and all of a sudden I busted + out laughing agin. The doctor asts if I am crazy. And Looey says he has + thought I was from the very first, and some night him and the doctor will + be killed whilst asleep. One of the things we have every night in the show + is an Injun dance, and Looey and I sings what the doctor calls the Siwash + war chant, whirling round and round each other, and making licks at each + other with our tommyhawks, and letting out sudden wild yips in the midst + of that chant. That night I like to of killed Looey with that tommyhawk, I + was feeling so good. If it had been a real one, instead of painted-up + wood, I would of killed Looey, the lick I give him. The worst part of that + was that, after the show, when we got back to camp and the hosses was + picketed out fur the night, I had to tell Looey all about how I felt fur + an explanation of why I hit him. + </p> + <p> + Which it made Looey right low in his sperrits, and he shakes his head and + says no good will come of it. + </p> + <p> + "Did you ever hear of Romeo and Joliet?" he says: + </p> + <p> + "Mebby," I says, "but what it was I hearn I can't remember. What about + them?" + </p> + <p> + "Well," he says, "they carried on the same as you. And now where are + they?" + </p> + <p> + "Well," I says, "where are they?" + </p> + <p> + "In the tomb," says Looey, very sad, like they was closte personal friends + of his'n. And he told me all about them and how Young Cobalt had done fur + them. But from what I could make out it all happened away back in the + early days. And shucks!—I didn't care a dern, anyhow. I told him so. + </p> + <p> + "Well," he says, "It's been the history of the world that it brings + trouble." And he says to look at Damon and Pythias, and Othello and the + Merchant of Venus. And he named about a hundred prominent couples like + that out of Shakespeare's works. + </p> + <p> + "But it ends happy sometimes," I says. + </p> + <p> + "Not when it is true love it don't," says Looey. "Look at Anthony and + Cleopatra." + </p> + <p> + "Yes," I says, sarcastic like, "I suppose they are in the tomb, too?" + </p> + <p> + "They are," says Looey, awful solemn. + </p> + <p> + "Yes," I says, "and so is Adam and Eve and Dan and Burrsheba and all the + rest of them old-timers. But I bet they had a good time while they + lasted." + </p> + <p> + Looey shakes his head solemn and sighs and goes to sleep very mournful, + like he has to give me up fur lost. But I can't sleep none myself. So + purty soon I gets up and puts on my shoes and sneaks through the wood-lot + and through the gap in the fence by the apple tree and into Miss Hampton's + yard. + </p> + <p> + It was a beauty of a moonlight night, that white and clear and clean you + could almost see to read by it, like all of everything had been scoured as + bright as the bottom of a tin pan. And the shadders was soft and thick and + velvety and laid kind of brownish-greeney on the grass. I flopped down in + the shadder of some lilac bushes and wondered which was Martha's window. I + knowed she would be in bed long ago, but—— Well, I was jest + plumb foolish that night, and I couldn't of kept away fur any money. That + moonlight had got into my head, it seemed like, and made me drunk. But I + would rather be looney that-a-way than to have as much sense as King + Solomon and all his adverbs. I was that looney that if I had knowed any + poetry I would of said it out loud, right up toward that window. I never + knowed why poetry was made up before that night. But the only poetry I + could think of was about there was a man named Furgeson that lived on + Market Street, and he had a one-eyed Thomas cat that couldn't well be + beat. Which it didn't seem to fit the case, so I didn't say her. + </p> + <p> + The porch of that house was part covered with vines, but they was kind of + gaped apart at one corner. As I laid there in the shadder of the bushes I + hearn a fluttering movement, light and gentle, on that porch. Then, all of + a sudden, I seen some one standing on the edge of the porch where the + vines was gaped apart, and the moonlight was falling onto them. They must + of come there awful soft and still. Whoever it was couldn't see into the + shadder where I laid, that is, if it was a human and not a ghost. Fur my + first thought was it might be one of them ghosts I had been running down + so that very day, and mebby the same one Miss Hampton seen on that very + same porch. I thought I was in fur it then, mebby, and I felt like some + one had whispered to the back of my neck it ought to be scared. And I WAS + scared clean up into my hair. I stared hard, fur I couldn't take my eyes + away. Then purty soon I seen if it was a ghost it must be a woman ghost. + Fur it was dressed in light-coloured clothes that moved jest a little in + the breeze, and the clothes was so near the colour of the moonlight they + seemed to kind of silver into it. You would of said it had jest floated + there, and was waiting fur to float away agin when the breeze blowed a + little stronger, or the moon drawed it. + </p> + <p> + It didn't move fur ever so long. Then it leaned forward through the gap in + the vines, and I seen the face real plain. It wasn't no ghost, it was a + lady. Then I knowed it must be Miss Hampton standing there. Away off + through the trees our camp fire sent up jest a dull kind of a glow. She + was standing there looking at that. I wondered why. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link2HCH0008" id="link2HCH0008"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + CHAPTER VIII + </h2> + <p> + The next day we broke camp and was gone from that place, and I took away + with me the half of a ring me and Martha had chopped in two. We kept on + going, and by the time punkins and county fairs was getting ripe we was + into the upper left-hand corner of Ohio. And there Looey left us. + </p> + <p> + One day Doctor Kirby and me was walking along the main street of a little + town and we seen a bang-up funeral percession coming. It must of been one + of the Grand Army of the Republicans, fur they was some of the old + soldiers in buggies riding along behind, and a big string of people + follering in more buggies and some on foot. Everybody was looking mighty + sollum. But they was one man setting beside the undertaker on the seat of + the hearse that was looking sollumer than them all. It was Looey, and I'll + bet the corpse himself would of felt proud and happy and contented if he + could of knowed the style Looey was giving that funeral. + </p> + <p> + It wasn't nothing Looey done, fur he didn't do nothing but jest set there + with his arms folded onto his bosom and look sad. But he done THAT better + than any one else. He done it so well that you forgot the corpse was the + chief party to that funeral. Looey took all the glory from him. He had + jest natcherally stole that funeral away from its rightful owner with his + enjoyment of it. He seen the doctor and me as the hearse went by our + corner, but he never let on. A couple of hours later Looey comes into camp + and says he is going to quit. + </p> + <p> + The doctor asts him if he has inherited money. + </p> + <p> + "No," says Looey, "but my aunt has given me a chancet to go into + business." + </p> + <p> + Looey says he was born nigh there, and was prowling around town the day + before and run acrost an old aunt of his'n he had forgot all about. She is + awful respectable and religious and ashamed of him being into a travelling + show. And she has offered to lend him enough to buy a half-share in a + business. + </p> + <p> + "Well," says the doctor, "I hope it will be something you are fitted for + and will enjoy. But I've noticed that after a man gets the habit of + roaming around this terrestial ball it's mighty hard to settle down and + watch his vine and fig tree grow." + </p> + <p> + Looey smiles in a sad sort of a way, which he seldom smiled fur anything, + and says he guesses he'll like the business. He says they ain't many + businesses he could take to. Most of them makes you forget this world is + but a fleeting show. But he has found a business which keeps you reminded + all the time that dust is dust and ash to ashes shalt return. When he + first went into the medicine business, he said, he was drawed to it by the + diseases and the sudden dyings-off it always kept him in mind of. He + thought they wasn't no other business could lay over it fur that kind of + comfort. But he has found out his mistake. + </p> + <p> + "What kind of business are you going into?" asts the doctor. + </p> + <p> + "I am going to be an undertaker," says Looey. "My aunt says this town + needs the right kind of an undertaker bad." + </p> + <p> + Mr. Wilcox, the undertaker that town has, is getting purty old and shaky, + Looey says, and young Mr. Wilcox, his son, is too light-minded and goes at + things too brisk and airy to give it the right kind of a send-off. People + don't want him joking around their corpses and he is a fat young man and + can't help making puns even in the presence of the departed. Old Mr. + Wilcox's eyesight is getting so poor he made a scandal in that town only + the week before. He was composing a departed's face into a last smile, but + he went too fur with it, and give the departed one of them awful mean, + devilish kind of grins, like he had died with a bad temper on. By the time + the departed's fambly had found it out, things had went too fur, and the + face had set that-a-way, so it wasn't safe to try to change it any. + </p> + <p> + Old Mr. Wilcox had several brands of last looks. One was called: "Bear Up, + for We Will Meet Again." The one that had went wrong was his favourite + look, named: "O Death, Where is Thy Victory?" + </p> + <p> + Looey's aunt says she will buy him a partnership if she is satisfied he + can fill the town's needs. They have a talk with the Wilcoxes, and he + rides on the hearse that day fur a try-out. His aunt peeks out behind her + bedroom curtains as the percession goes by her house, and when she sees + the style Looey is giving to that funeral, and how easy it comes to him, + that settles it with her on the spot. And it seems the hull dern town + liked it, too, including the departed's fambly. + </p> + <p> + Looey says they is a lot of chancet fur improvements in the undertaking + game by one whose heart is in his work, and he is going into that business + to make a success of it, and try and get all the funeral trade fur miles + around. He reads us an advertisement of the new firm he has been figgering + out fur that town's weekly paper. I cut a copy out when it was printed, + and it is about the genteelest thing like that I even seen, as follers: + </p> + <p> + WILCOX AND SIMMS Invite Your Patronage + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> +This earth is but a fleeting show, and the blank-winged angels wait for +all. It is always a satisfaction to remember that all possible has been +done for the deceased. + + See Our New Line of Coffins + Lined Caskets a Specialty + Lodge Work Solicited +</pre> + <p> + Time and tide wait for no man, and his days are few and full of troubles. + The paths of glory lead but to the grave, and none can tell when mortal + feet may stumble. + </p> + <p> + When in Town Drop in and Inspect Our New Embalming Outfit. It is a + Pleasure to Show Goods and Tools Even if Your Family Needs no Work Done + Just Yet + </p> + <p> + Outfits for mourners who have been bereaved on short notice a specialty. + We take orders for tombstones. Look at our line of shrouds, robes, and + black suits for either sex and any age. Give us just one call, and you + will entrust future embalmings and obsequies in your family to no other + firm. + </p> + <p> + WILCOX AND SIMMS Main Street, Near Depot + </p> + <p> + The doctor, he reads it over careful and says she orter drum up trade, all + right. Looey tells us that mebby, if he can get that town educated up to + it, he will put in a creamatory, where he will burn them, too, but will go + slow, fur that there sollum and beautiful way of returning ash to ashes + might make some prejudice in such a religious town. + </p> + <p> + The last we seen of Looey was a couple of days later when we told him + good-bye in his shop. Old Mr. Wilcox was explaining to him the science of + them last looks he was so famous at when he was a younger man. Young Mr. + Wilcox was laying on a table fur Looey to practise on, and Looey was + learning fast. But he nearly broke down when he said good-bye, fur he + liked the doctor. + </p> + <p> + "Doc," he says, "you've been a good friend, and I won't never forget you. + They ain't much I can do, and in this deceitful world words is less than + actions. But if you ever was to die within a hundred miles of me, I'd go," + he says, "and no other hands but mine should lay you out. And it wouldn't + cost you a cent, either. Nor you neither, Danny." + </p> + <p> + We thanked him kindly fur the offer, and went. + </p> + <p> + The next town we come to there was a county fair, and the doctor run + acrost an old pal of his'n who had a show on the grounds and wanted to + hire him fur what he called a ballyhoo man. Which was the first I ever + hearn them called that, but I got better acquainted with them since. They + are the fellers that stands out in front and gets you all excited about + the Siamese twins or the bearded lady or the snake-charmer or the + Circassian beauties or whatever it is inside the tent, as represented upon + the canvas. The doctor says he will do it fur a week, jest fur fun, and + mebby pick up another feller to take Looey's place out there. + </p> + <p> + This feller's name is Watty Sanders, and his wife is a fat lady in his own + show and very good-natured when not intoxicated nor mad at Watty. She was + billed on the curtains outside fur five hundred and fifty pounds, and + Watty says she really does weigh nigh on to four hundred. But being a fat + lady's husband ain't no bed of rosy ease at that, Watty tells the doctor. + It's like every other trade—it has its own pertic'ler + responsibilities and troubles. She is a turrible expense to Watty on + account of eating so much. The tales that feller told of how hard he has + to hustle showing her off in order to support her appetite would of drawed + tears from a pawnbroker's sign, as Doctor Kirby says. Which he found it + cheaper fur his hull show to board and sleep in the tent, and we done + likewise. + </p> + <p> + Well, I got a job with that show myself. Watty had a wild man canvas but + no wild man, so he made me an offer and I took him up. I was from Borneo, + where they're all supposed to be captured. Jest as Doctor Kirby would get + to his talk about how the wild man had been ketched after great struggle + and expense, with four men killed and another crippled, there would be an + awful rumpus on the inside of the tent, with wild howlings and the sound + of revolvers shot off and a woman screaming. Then I would come busting out + all blacked up from head to heel with no more clothes on than the law + pervided fur, yipping loud and shaking a big spear and rolling my eyes, + and Watty would come rushing after me firing his revolver. I would make + fur the doctor and draw my spear back to jab it clean through him, and + Watty would grab my arm. And the doctor would whirl round and they would + wrastle me to the ground and I would be handcuffed and dragged back into + the tent, still howling and struggling to break loose. On the inside my + part of the show was to be wild in a cage. I would be chained to the + floor, and every now and then I would get wilder and rattle my chains and + shake the bars and make jumps at the crowd and carry on, and make believe + I was too mad to eat the pieces of raw meat Watty throwed into the cage. + </p> + <p> + Watty had a snake-charmer woman, with an awful long, bony kind of neck, + working fur him, and another feller that was her husband and eat glass. + The show opened up with them two doing what they said was a comic turn. + Then the fat lady come on. Whilst everybody was admiring her size, and + looking at the number of pounds on them big cheat scales Watty weighed her + on, the long-necked one would be changing to her snake clothes. Which she + only had one snake, and he had been in the business so long, and was so + kind of worn out and tired with being charmed so much, it always seemed + like a pity to me the way she would take and twist him around. I guess + they never was a snake was worked harder fur the little bit he got to eat, + nor got no sicker of a woman's society than poor old Reginald did. After + Reginald had been charmed a while, it would be the glass eater's turn. + Which he really eat it, and the doctor says that kind always dies before + they is fifty. I never knowed his right name, but what he went by was The + Human Ostrich. + </p> + <p> + Watty's wife was awful jealous of Mrs. Ostrich, fur she got the idea she + was carrying on with Watty. One night I hearn an argument from the + fenced-off part of the tent Watty and his wife slept in. She was setting + on Watty's chest and he was gasping fur mercy. + </p> + <p> + "You know it ain't true," says Watty, kind of smothered-like. + </p> + <p> + "It is," says she, "you own up it is!" And she give him a jounce. + </p> + <p> + "No, darling," he gets out of him, "you know I never could bear them thin, + scrawny kind of women." And he begins to call her pet names of all kinds + and beg her please, if she won't get off complete, to set somewheres else + a minute, fur his chest he can feel giving way, and his ribs caving in. He + called her his plump little woman three or four times and she must of + softened up some, fur she moved and his voice come stronger, but not less + meek and lowly. And he follers it up: + </p> + <p> + "Dolly, darling," he says, "I bet I know something my little woman don't + know." + </p> + <p> + "What is it?" the fat lady asts him. + </p> + <p> + "You don't know what a cruel, weak stomach your hubby has got," Watty + says, awful coaxing like, "or you wouldn't bear down quite so hard onto it—please, + Dolly!" + </p> + <p> + She begins to blubber and say he is making fun of her big size, and if he + is mean to her any more or ever looks at another woman agin she will take + anti-fat and fade away to nothing and ruin his show, and it is awful hard + to be made a joke of all her life and not have no steady home nor nothing + like other women does. + </p> + <p> + "You know I worship every pound of you, little woman," says Watty, still + coaxing. "Why can't you trust me? You know, Dolly, darling, I wouldn't + take your weight in gold for you." And he tells her they never was but + once in all his life he has so much as turned his head to look at another + woman, and that was by way of a plutonic admiration, and no flirting + intended, he says. And even then it was before he had met his own little + woman. And that other woman, he says, was plump too, fur he wouldn't never + look at none but a plump woman. + </p> + <p> + "What did she weigh?" asts Watty's wife. He tells her a measly little + three hundred pound. + </p> + <p> + "But she wasn't refined like my little woman," says Watty, "and when I + seen that I passed her up." And inch by inch Watty coaxed her clean off of + him. + </p> + <p> + But the next day she hearn him and Mrs. Ostrich giggling about something, + and she has a reg'lar tantrum, and jest fur meanness goes out and falls + down on the race track, pertending she has fainted, and they can't move + her no ways, not even roll her. But finally they rousted her out of that + by one of these here sprinkling carts backing up agin her and turning + loose. + </p> + <p> + But aside from them occasional mean streaks Dolly was real nice, and I + kind of got to liking her. She tells me that because she is so fat no one + won't take her serious like a human being, and she wisht she was like + other women and had a fambly. That woman wanted a baby, too, and I bet she + would of been good to it, fur she was awful good to animals. She had been + big from a little girl, and never got no sympathy when sick, nor nothing, + and even whilst she played with dolls as a kid she knowed she looked + ridiculous, and was laughed at. And by jings!—they was the funniest + thing come to light before we left that crowd. That poor, derned, old, fat + fool HAD a doll yet, all hid away, and when she was alone she used to take + it out and cuddle it. Well, Dolly never had many friends, and you couldn't + blame her much if she did drink a little too much now and then, or get mad + at Watty fur his goings-on and kneel down on him whilst he was asleep. + Them was her only faults and I liked the old girl. Yet I could see Watty + had his troubles too. + </p> + <p> + That show busted up before the fair closed. Fur one day Watty's wife gets + mad at Mrs. Ostrich and tries to set on her. And then Mrs. Ostrich gets + mad too, and sicks Reginald onto her. Watty's wife is awful scared of + Reginald, who don't really have ambition enough to bite no one, let alone + a lady built so round everywhere he couldn't of got a grip on her. And as + fur as wrapping himself around her and squashing her to death, Reginald + never seen the day he could reach that fur. Reginald's feelings is plumb + friendly toward Dolly when he is turned loose, but she don't know that, + and she has some hysterics and faints in earnest this time. Well, they was + an awful hullaballo when she come to, and fur the sake of peace in the + fambly Watty has to fire Mr. and Mrs. Ostrich and poor old Reginald out of + their jobs, and the show is busted. So Doctor Kirby and me lit out fur + other parts agin. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link2HCH0009" id="link2HCH0009"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + CHAPTER IX + </h2> + <p> + We was jogging along one afternoon not fur from a good-sized town at the + top of Ohio, right on the lake, when we run acrost some remainders of a + busted circus riding in a stake and chain wagon. They was two fellers—both + jugglers, acrobats, and tumblers—and a balloon. The circus had + busted without paying them nothing but promises fur months and months, and + they had took the team and wagon and balloon by attachment, they said. + They was carting her from the little burg the show busted in to that + good-sized town on the lake. They would sell the team and wagon there and + get money enough to put an advertisement in the Billboard, which is like a + Bible to them showmen, that they had a balloon to sell and was at liberty. + </p> + <p> + One of them was the slimmest, lightest-footed, quickest feller you ever + seen, with a big nose and dark complected, and his name was Tobias. The + other was heavier and blonde complected. His name was Dobbs, he said, and + they was the Blanchet Brothers. Doctor Kirby and them got real well + acquainted in about three minutes. We drove on ahead and got into the town + first. + </p> + <p> + The doctor says that balloon is jest wasted on them fellers. They can't go + up in her, not knowing that trade, but still they ought to be some way fur + them to make a little stake out of it before it was sold. + </p> + <p> + The next evening we run acrost them fellers on the street, and they was + feeling purty blue. They hadn't been able to sell that team and wagon, + which it was eating its meals reg'lar in a livery stable, and they had + been doing stunts in the street that day and passing around the hat, but + not getting enough fur to pay expenses. + </p> + <p> + "Where's the balloon?" asts the doctor. And I seen he was sicking his + intellects onto the job of making her pay. + </p> + <p> + "In the livery stable with the wagon," they tells him. + </p> + <p> + He says he is going to figger out a way to help them boys. They is like + all circus performers, he says—they jest knows their own acts, and + talks about 'em all the time, and studies up ways to make 'em better, and + has got no more idea of business outside of that than a rabbit. We all + went to the livery stable and overhauled that balloon. It was an awful + job, too. But they wasn't a rip in her, and the parachute was jest as good + as new. + </p> + <p> + "There's no reason why we can't give a show of our own," says Doctor + Kirby, "with you boys and Danny and me and that balloon. What we want is a + lot with a high board fence around it, like a baseball grounds, and the + chance to tap a gas main." He says he'll be willing to take a chancet on + it, even paying the gas company real money to fill her up. + </p> + <p> + What the Doctor didn't know about starting shows wasn't worth knowing. He + had even went in for the real drama in his younger days now and then. + </p> + <p> + "One of my theatrical productions came very near succeeding, too," he + says. + </p> + <p> + It was a play he says, in which the hero falls in love with a pair of + Siamese twins and commits suicide because he can't make a choice between + them. + </p> + <p> + "We played it as comedy in the big towns and tragedy in the little ones," + he says. "But like a fool I booked it for two weeks of middle-sized towns + and it broke us." + </p> + <p> + The next day he finds a lot that will do jest fine. It has been used fur a + school playgrounds, but the school has been moved and the old building is + to be tore down. He hired the place cheap. And he goes and talks the gas + company into giving him credit to fill that balloon. Which I kept + wondering what was the use of filling her, fur none of the four of us had + ever went up in one. And when I seen the handbills he had had printed I + wondered all the more. They read as follers: + </p> + <p> + Kirby's Komedy Kompany and Open Air Circus + </p> + <p> + Presenting a Peerless Personnel of Artistic Attractions + </p> + <p> + Greatest in the Galaxy of Gaiety, is + </p> + <p> + Hartley L. Kirby + </p> + <p> + Monologuist and minstrel, dancer and vaudevillian in his terpsichorean + travesties, buoyant burlesques, inimitable imitations, screaming + impersonations, refined comedy sketches and popular song hits of the day. + </p> + <p> + The Blanchet Brothers + </p> + <p> + Daring, Dazzling, Danger-Loving, Death-Defying Demons + </p> + <p> + Joyous jugglers, acrobatic artists, constrictorial contortionists, + exquisite equilibrists, in their marvellous, mysterious, unparalleled + performances. + </p> + <p> + Umslopogus The Patagonian Chieftain + </p> + <p> + The lowest type of human intellect + </p> + <p> + This formerly ferocious fiend has so far succumbed to the softer wiles of + civilization that he is no longer a cannibal, and it is now safe to put + him on exhibition. But to prevent accidents he is heavily manacled, and + the public is warned not to come too near. + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + + Balloon! Balloon!! Balloon!!! + + The management also presents the balloon of + + Prof. Alonzo Ackerman The Famous Aeronaut + + in which he has made his + + Wonderful Ascension and Parachute Drop + + many times, reaching remarkable altitudes + + Balloon! Balloon!! Balloon!!! + + Saturday, 3 P. M. Old Vandegrift School Lot +</pre> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + Admission 50 Cents +</pre> + <p> + Well, fur a writer he certainly laid over Looey, Doctor Kirby did—more + cheerful-like, you might say. I seen right off I was to be the Patagonian + Chieftain. I was getting more and more of an actor right along—first + an Injun, then a wild Borneo, and now a Patagonian. + </p> + <p> + "But who is this Alonzo Ackerman?" I asts him. + </p> + <p> + "Celebrated balloonist," says he, "and the man that invented parachutes. + They eat out of his hand." + </p> + <p> + "Where is he?" asts I. + </p> + <p> + "How should I know?" he says. + </p> + <p> + "How is he going up, then?" I asts. + </p> + <p> + The doctor chuckles and says it is a good bill, a better bill than he + thought; that it is getting in its work already. He says to me to read it + careful and see if it says Alonzo Ackerman is going up. Well, it don't. + But any one would of thought so the first look. I reckon that bill was + some of a liar herself, not lying outright, but jest hinting a lie. They + is a lot of mean, stingy-souled kind of people wouldn't never lie to help + a friend, but Doctor Kirby wasn't one of 'em. + </p> + <p> + "But," I says, "when that crowd finds out Alonzo ain't going up they will + be purty mad." + </p> + <p> + "Oh," says he, "I don't think so. The American public are a good-natured + set of chuckle-heads, mostly. If they get sore I'll talk 'em out of it." + </p> + <p> + If he had any faults at all—and mind you, I ain't saying Doctor + Kirby had any—the one he had hardest was the belief he could talk + any crowd into any notion, or out of it, either. And he loved to do it + jest fur the fun of it. He'd rather have the feeling he was doing that + than the money any day. He was powerful vain about that gab of his'n, + Doctor Kirby was. + </p> + <p> + The four of us took around about five thousand bills. The doctor says they + is nothing like giving yourself a chancet. And Saturday morning we got the + balloon filled up so she showed handsome, tugging away there at her ropes. + But we had a dern mean time with that balloon, too. + </p> + <p> + The doctor says if we have good luck there may be as many as three, four + hundred people. + </p> + <p> + But Jerusalem! They was two, three times that many. By the time the show + started I reckon they was nigh a thousand there. The doctor and the + Blanchet Brothers was tickled. When they quit coming fast the doctor left + the gate and made a little speech, telling all about the wonderful show, + and the great expense it was to get it together, and all that. + </p> + <p> + They was a rope stretched between the crowd and us. Back of that was the + Blanchet Brothers' wagon and our wagon, and our little tent. I was jest + inside the tent with chains on. Back of everything else was the balloon. + </p> + <p> + Well, the doctor he done a lot of songs and things as advertised. Then the + Blanchet Brothers done some of their acts. They was really fine acts, too. + Then come some more of Doctor Kirby's refined comedy, as advertised. Next, + more Blanchet. Then a lecture about me by the doctor. All in all it takes + up about an hour and a half. Then the doctor makes a mighty nice little + talk, and wishes them all good afternoon, thanking them fur their kind + intentions and liberal patronage, one and all. + </p> + <p> + "But when will the balloon go up?" asts half a dozen at oncet. + </p> + <p> + "The balloon?" asts Doctor Kirby, surprised. + </p> + <p> + "Balloon! Balloon!" yells a kid. And the hull crowd took it up and yelled: + "Balloon! Balloon! Balloon!" And they crowded up closte to that rope. + </p> + <p> + Doctor Kirby has been getting off the wagon, but he gets back on her, and + stretches his arms wide, and motions of 'em all to come close. + </p> + <p> + "Ladies and gentlemen," he says, "please to gather near—up here, + good people—and listen! Listen to what I have to say—harken to + the utterings of my voice! There has been a misunderstanding here! There + has been a misconstruction! There has been, ladies and gentlemen, a woeful + lack of comprehension here!" + </p> + <p> + It looked to me like they was beginning to understand more than he meant + them to. I was wondering how it would all come out, but he never lost his + nerve. + </p> + <p> + "Listen," he says, very earnest, "listen to me. Somehow the idea seems to + have gone forth that there would be a balloon ascension here this + afternoon. How, I do not know, for what we advertised, ladies and + gentlemen, was that the balloon used by Prof. Alonzo Ackerman, the + illustrious aeronaut, would be UPON EXHIBITION. And there she is, ladies + and gentlemen, there she is, for every eye to see and gladden with the + sight of—right before you, ladies and gentlemen—the balloon of + Alonzo Ackerman, the wonderful voyager of the air, exactly as represented. + During their long career Kirby and Company have never deceived the public. + Others may, but Kirby and Company are like Caesar's wife—Kirby and + Company are above suspicion. It is the province of Kirby's Komedy Kompany, + ladies and gentlemen, to spread the glad tidings of innocent amusement + throughout the length and breadth of this fair land of ours. And there she + is before you, the balloon as advertised, the gallant ship of the air in + which the illustrious Ackerman made so many voyages before he sailed at + last into the Great Beyond! You can see her, ladies and gentlemen, + straining at her cords, anxious to mount into the heavens and be gone! It + is an education in itself, ladies and gentlemen, a moral education, and + well worth coming miles to see. Think of it—think of it—the + Ackerman balloon—and then think that the illustrious Ackerman + himself—he was my personal friend, ladies and gentlemen, and a true + friend sticketh closer than a brother—the illustrious Ackerman is + dead. The balloon, ladies and gentlemen, is there, but Ackerman is gone to + his reward. Look at that balloon, ladies and gentlemen, and tell me if you + can, why should the spirit of mortals be proud? For the man that rode her + like a master and tamed her like she was a dove lies cold and dead in a + western graveyard, ladies and gentlemen, and she is here, a useless and an + idle vanity without the mind that made her go!" + </p> + <p> + Well, he went on and he told a funny story about Alonzo, which I don't + believe they ever was no Alonzo Ackerman, and a lot of 'em laughed; and he + told a pitiful story, and they got sollum agin, and then another funny + story. Well, he had 'em listening, and purty soon most of the crowd is + feeling in a good humour toward him, and one feller yells out: + </p> + <p> + "Go it—you're a hull show yourself!" And some joshes him, but they + don't seem to be no trouble in the air. When they all look to be in a good + humour he holds up a bill and asts how many has them. Many has. He says + that is well, and then he starts to telling another story. But in the + middle of the story that hull dern crowd is took with a fit of laughing. + They has looked at the bill closet, and seen they is sold, and is taking + it good-natured. And still shouting and laughing most of them begins to + start along off. And I thought all chancet of trouble was over with. But + it wasn't. + </p> + <p> + Fur they is always a natcheral born kicker everywhere, and they was one + here, too. + </p> + <p> + He was a lean feller with a sticking out jaw, and one of his eyes was in a + kind of a black pocket, and he was jest natcherally laying it off to about + a dozen fellers that was in a little knot around him. + </p> + <p> + The doctor sees the main part of the crowd going and climbs down off'n the + wagon. As he does so that hull bunch of about a dozen moves in under the + rope, and some more that was going out seen it, and stopped and come back. + </p> + <p> + "Perfessor," says the man with the patch over his eye to Doctor Kirby, + "you say this man Ackerman is dead?" + </p> + <p> + "Yes," says the doctor, eying him over, "he's dead." + </p> + <p> + "How did he die?" asts the feller. + </p> + <p> + "He died hard, I understand," says the doctor, careless-like. + </p> + <p> + "Fell out of his balloon?" + </p> + <p> + "Yes." + </p> + <p> + "This aeronaut trade is a dangerous trade, I hear," says the feller with + the patch on his eye. + </p> + <p> + "They say so," says Doctor Kirby, easy-like. + </p> + <p> + "Was you ever an aeronaut yourself?" asts the feller. + </p> + <p> + "No," says the doctor. + </p> + <p> + "Never been up in a balloon?" + </p> + <p> + "No." + </p> + <p> + "Well, you're going up in one this afternoon!" + </p> + <p> + "What do you mean?" asts Doctor Kirby. + </p> + <p> + "We've come out to see a balloon ascension—and we're going to see + it, too." + </p> + <p> + And with that the hull crowd made a rush at the doctor. + </p> + <p> + Well, I been in fights before that, and I been in fights since then. But I + never been in no harder one. The doctor and the two Blanchet brothers and + me managed to get backed up agin the fence in a row when the rush come. I + guess I done my share, and I guess the Blanchet brothers done theirn, too. + But they was too many of 'em for us—too dern many. It wouldn't of + ended as quick as it did if Doctor Kirby hadn't gone clean crazy. His back + was to the fence, and he cleaned out everything in front of him, and then + he give a wild roar jest like a bull and rushed that hull gang—twenty + men, they was—with his head down. He caught two fellers, one in each + hand, and he cracked their heads together, and he caught two more, and + done the same. But he orter never took his back away from that fence. The + hull gang closed in on him, and down he went at the bottom of a pile. I + was awful busy myself, but I seen that pile moving and churning. Then I + made a big mistake myself. I kicked a feller in the stomach, and another + feller caught my leg, and down I went. Fur a half a minute I never knowed + nothing. And when I come to I was all mashed about the face, and two + fellers was sitting on me. + </p> + <p> + The crowd was tying Doctor Kirby to that parachute. They straddled legs + over the parachute bar, and tied his feet below it. He was still fighting, + but they was too many fur him. They left his arms untied, but they held + 'em, and then— + </p> + <p> + Then they cut her loose. She went up like she was shot from a gun, and as + she did Doctor Kirby took a grip on a feller's arm that hadn't let loose + quick enough and lifted him plumb off'n the ground. He slewed around on + the trapeze bar with the feller's weight, and slipped head downward. And + as he slipped he give that feller a swing and let loose of him, and then + ketched himself by the crook of one knee. The feller turned over twicet in + the air and landed in a little crumpled-up pile on the ground, and never + made a sound. + </p> + <p> + The fellers that had holt of me forgot me and stood up, and I stood up + too, and looked. The balloon was rising fast. Doctor Kirby was trying to + pull himself up to the trapeze bar, twisting and squirming and having a + hard time of it, and shooting higher every second. I reckoned he couldn't + fall complete, fur where his feet was tied would likely hold even if his + knee come straight—but he would die mebby with his head filling up + with blood. But finally he made a squirm and raised himself a lot and + grabbed the rope at one side of the bar. And then he reached and got the + rope on the other side, and set straddle of her. And jest as he done that + the wind ketched the balloon good and hard, and she turned out toward Lake + Erie. It was too late fur him to pull the rope that sets the parachute + loose then, and drop onto the land. + </p> + <p> + I rushed out of that schoolhouse yard and down the street toward the lake + front, and run, stumbling along and looking up. She was getting smaller + every minute. And with my head in the air looking up I was running plumb + to the edge of the water before I knowed it. + </p> + <p> + She was away out over the lake now, and awful high, and going fast before + the wind, and the doctor was only a speck. And as I stared at that speck + away up in the sky I thought this was a mean world to live in. Fur there + was the only real friend I ever had, and no way fur me to help him. He had + learnt me to read, and bought me good clothes, and made me know they was + things in the world worth travelling around to see, and made me feel like + I was something more than jest Old Hank Walters's dog. And I guessed he + would be drownded and I would never see him agin now. And all of a sudden + something busted loose inside of me, and I sunk down there at the edge of + the water, sick at my stomach, and weak and shivering. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link2HCH0010" id="link2HCH0010"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + CHAPTER X + </h2> + <p> + I didn't exactly faint there, but things got all mixed fur me, and when + they was straightened out agin I was in a hospital. It seems I had been + considerable stepped on in that fight, and three ribs was broke. I knowed + I was hurting, but I was so interested in what was happening to the doctor + the hull hurt never come to me till the balloon was way out over the lake. + </p> + <p> + But now I was in a plaster cast, and before I got out of that I was in a + fever. I was some weeks getting out of there. + </p> + <p> + I tried to get some word of Doctor Kirby, but couldn't. Nothing had been + heard of him or the balloon. The newspapers had had stuff about it fur a + day or two, and they guessed the body might come to light sometime. But + that was all. And I didn't know where to hunt nor how. + </p> + <p> + The hosses and wagon and tent and things worried me some, too. They wasn't + mine, and so I couldn't sell 'em. And they wasn't no good to me without + Doctor Kirby. So I tells the man that owns the livery stable to use the + team fur its board and keep it till Doctor Kirby calls fur it, and if he + never does mebby I will sometime. + </p> + <p> + I didn't want to stay in that town or I could of got a job in the livery + stable. They offered me one, but I hated that town. I wanted to light out. + I didn't much care where to. + </p> + <p> + Them Blanchet Brothers had left a good share of the money we took in at + the balloon ascension with the hospital people fur me before they cleared + out. But before I left that there town I seen they was one thing I had to + do to make myself easy in my mind. So I done her. + </p> + <p> + That was to hunt up that feller with his eye in the patch. It took me a + week to find him. He lived down near some railroad yards. I might of + soaked him with a coupling link and felt a hull lot better. But I didn't + guess it would do to pet and pamper my feelings too much. So I does it + with my fists in a quiet place, and does it very complete, and leaves that + town in a cattle car, feeling a hull lot more contented in my mind. + </p> + <p> + Then they was a hull dern year I didn't stay nowhere very long, nor work + at any one job too long, neither. I jest worked from place to place seeing + things—big towns and rivers and mountains. Working here and there, + and loafing and riding blind baggages and freight trains between jobs, I + covered a lot of ground that year, and made some purty big jumps, and got + acquainted with some awful queer folks, first and last. + </p> + <p> + But the worst of that is lots of people gets to thinking I am a hobo. Even + one or two judges in police courts I got acquainted with had that there + idea of me. I always explains that I am not one, and am jest travelling + around to see things, and working when I feels like it, and ain't no bum. + But frequent I am not believed. And two, three different times I gets to + the place where I couldn't hardly of told myself from a hobo, if I hadn't + of knowed I wasn't one. + </p> + <p> + I got right well acquainted with some of them hobos, too. As fur as I can + see, they is as much difference in them as in other humans. Some travels + because they likes to see things, and some because they hates to work, and + some because they is in the habit and can't stop it. Well, I know myself + it's purty hard after while to stop it, fur where would you stop at? What + excuse is they to stop one place more'n another? I met all kinds of 'em, + and oncet I got in fur a week with a couple of real Johnny Yeggs that is + both in the pen now. I hearn a feller say one time there is some good in + every man. I went the same way as them two yeggmen a hull dern week to try + and find out where the good in 'em was. I guess they must be some mistake + somewheres, fur I looked hard and I watched closet and I never found it. + They is many kinds of hobos and tramps, perfessional and amachure, and + lots of kinds of bums, and lots of young fellers working their way around + to see things, like I was, and lots of working men in hard luck going from + place to place, and all them kinds is humans. But the real yeggman ain't + even a dog. + </p> + <p> + And oncet I went all the way from Chicago to Baltimore with a serious, + dern fool that said he was a soshyologest, whatever them is, and was going + to put her all into a book about the criminal classes. He worked hard + trying to get at the reason I was a hobo. Which they wasn't no reason, fur + I wasn't no hobo. But I didn't want to disappoint that feller and spoil + his book fur him. So I tells him things. Things not overly truthful, but + very full of crime. About a year afterward I was into one of these here + Andrew Carnegie lib'aries with the names of the old-time presidents all + chiselled along the top and I seen the hull dern thing in print. He said + of me the same thing I have said about them yeggmen. If all he met joshed + that feller the same as me, that book must of been what you might call + misleading in spots. + </p> + <p> + One morning I woke up in a good-sized town in Illinoise, not a hundred + miles from where I was raised, without no money, and my clothes not much + to look at, and no job. I had been with a railroad show fur about two + weeks, driving stakes and other rough work, and it had went off and left + me sleeping on the ground. Circuses never waits fur nothing nor cares a + dern fur no one. I tried all day around town fur to get some kind of a + job. But I was looking purty rough and I couldn't land nothing. Along in + the afternoon I was awful hungry. + </p> + <p> + I was feeling purty low down to have to ast fur a meal, but finally I done + it. + </p> + <p> + I dunno how I ever come to pick out such a swell-looking house, but I + makes a little talk at the back door and the Irish girl she says, "Come + in," and into the kitchen I goes. + </p> + <p> + "It's Minnesota you're working toward?" asts she, pouring me out a cup of + coffee. + </p> + <p> + She is thinking of the wheat harvest where they is thousands makes fur + every fall. But none of 'em fur me. That there country is full of them + Scandiluvian Swedes and Norwegians, and they gets into the field before + daylight and stays there so long the hired man's got to milk the cows by + moonlight. + </p> + <p> + "I been acrost the river into I'way," I says, "a-working at my trade, and + now I'm going back to Chicago to work at it some more." + </p> + <p> + "What might your trade be?" she asts, sizing me up careful; and I thinks + I'll hand her one to chew on she ain't never hearn tell of before. + </p> + <p> + "I'm a agnostic by trade," I says. I spotted that there word in a + religious book one time, and that's the first chancet I ever has to try it + on any one. You can't never tell what them reg'lar sockdologers is going + to do till you tries them. + </p> + <p> + "I see," says she. But I seen she didn't see. And I didn't help her none. + She would of ruther died than to let on she didn't see. The Irish is like + that. Purty soon she says: + </p> + <p> + "Ain't that the dangerous kind o' work, though!" + </p> + <p> + "It is," I says. And says nothing further. + </p> + <p> + She sets down and folds her arms, like she was thinking of it, watching my + hands closet all the time I was eating, like she's looking fur scars where + something slipped when I done that agnostic work. Purty soon she says: + </p> + <p> + "Me brother Michael was kilt at it in the old country. He was the most + vinturesome lad of thim all!" + </p> + <p> + "Did it fly up and hit him?" I asts her. I was wondering w'ether she is + making fun of me or am I making fun of her. Them Irish is like that, you + can never tell which. + </p> + <p> + "No," says she, "he fell off of it. And I'm thinking you don't know what + it is yourself." And the next thing I know I'm eased out o' the back door + and she's grinning at me scornful through the crack of it. + </p> + <p> + So I was walking slow around toward the front of the house thinking how + the Irish was a great nation, and what shall I do now, anyhow? And I says + to myself: "Danny, you was a fool to let that circus walk off and leave + you asleep in this here town with nothing over you but a barbed wire fence + this morning. Fur what ARE you going to do next? First thing you know, you + WILL be a reg'lar tramp, which some folks can't be made to see you ain't + now." And jest when I was thinking that, a feller comes down the front + steps of that house on the jump and nabs me by the coat collar. + </p> + <p> + "Did you come out of this house?" he asts. + </p> + <p> + "I did," I says, wondering what next. + </p> + <p> + "Back in you go, then," he says, marching me forward toward them front + steps, "they've got smallpox in there." + </p> + <p> + I like to of jumped loose when he says that. + </p> + <p> + "Smallpox ain't no inducement to me, mister," I tells him. But he twisted + my coat collar tight and dug his thumbs into my neck, all the time helping + me onward with his knee from behind, and I seen they wasn't no use pulling + back. I could probable of licked that man, but they's no system in mixing + up with them well-dressed men in towns where they think you are a tramp. + The judge will give you the worst of it. + </p> + <p> + He rung the door bell and the girl that opened the door she looked kind o' + surprised when she seen me, and in we went. + </p> + <p> + "Tell Professor Booth that Doctor Wilkins wants to see him again," says + the man a-holt o' me, not letting loose none. And we says nothing further + till the perfessor comes, which he does, slow and absent-minded. When he + seen me he took off his glasses so's he could see me better, and he says: + </p> + <p> + "What is that you have there, Doctor Wilkins?" + </p> + <p> + "A guest for you," says Doctor Wilkins, grinning all over hisself. "I + found him leaving your house. And you being under quarantine, and me being + secretary to the board of health, and the city pest-house being crowded + too full already, I'll have to ask you to keep him here till we get Miss + Margery onto her feet again," he says. Or they was words to that effect, + as the lawyers asts you. + </p> + <p> + "Dear me," says Perfesser Booth, kind o' helpless like. And he comes over + closet to me and looks me all over like I was one of them amphimissourian + lizards in a free museum. And then he goes to the foot of the stairs and + sings out in a voice that was so bleached-out and flat-chested it would of + looked jest like him himself if you could of saw it—"Estelle," he + sings out, "oh, Estelle!" + </p> + <p> + Estelle, she come down stairs looking like she was the perfessor's big + brother. I found out later she was his old maid sister. She wasn't no + spring chicken, Estelle wasn't, and they was a continuous grin on her + face. I figgered it must of froze there years and years ago. They was a + kid about ten or eleven years old come along down with her, that had hair + down to its shoulders and didn't look like it knowed whether it was a girl + or a boy. Miss Estelle, she looks me over in a way that makes me shiver, + while the doctor and the perfessor jaws about whose fault it is the + smallpox sign ain't been hung out. And when she was done listening she + says to the perfessor: "You had better go back to your laboratory." And + the perfessor he went along out, and the doctor with him. + </p> + <p> + "What are you going to do with him, Aunt Estelle?" the kid asts her. + </p> + <p> + "What would YOU suggest, William, Dear?" asts his aunt. I ain't feeling + very comfortable, and I was getting all ready jest to natcherally bolt out + the front door now the doctor was gone. Then I thinks it mightn't be no + bad place to stay in fur a couple o' days, even risking the smallpox. Fur + I had riccolected I couldn't ketch it nohow, having been vaccinated a few + months before in Terry Hutt by compulsive medical advice, me being fur a + while doing some work on the city pavements through a mistake about me in + the police court. + </p> + <p> + William Dear looks at me like it was the day of judgment and his job was + to keep the fatted calves separate from the goats and prodigals, and he + says: + </p> + <p> + "If I were you, Aunt Estelle, the first thing would be to get his hair cut + and his face washed and then get him some clothes." + </p> + <p> + "William Dear is my friend," thinks I. + </p> + <p> + She calls James, which was a butler. James, he buttles me into a bathroom + the like o' which I never seen afore, and then he buttles me into a suit + o' somebody's clothes and into a room at the top o' the house next to + his'n, and then he comes back and buttles a comb and brush at me. James + was the most mournful-looking fat man I ever seen, and he says that + account of me not being respectable I will have my meals alone in the + kitchen after the servants has eat. + </p> + <p> + The first thing I knowed I been in that house more'n a week. I eat and I + slept and I smoked and I kind of enjoyed not worrying about things fur a + while. The only oncomfortable thing about being the perfessor's guest was + Miss Estelle. Soon's she found out I was a agnostic she took charge o' my + intellectuals and what went into 'em, and she makes me read things and + asts me about 'em, and she says she is going fur to reform me. And + whatever brand o' disgrace them there agnostics really is I ain't found + out to this day, having come acrost the word accidental. + </p> + <p> + Biddy Malone, which was the kitchen mechanic, she says the perfessor's + wife's been over to her mother's while this smallpox has been going on, + and they is a nurse in the house looking after Miss Margery, the little + kid that's sick. And Biddy, she says if she was Mrs. Booth she'd stay + there, too. They's been some talk, anyhow, about Mrs. Booth and a musician + feller around that there town. But Biddy, she likes Mrs. Booth, and even + if it was true, which it ain't Biddy says, who could of blamed her? Fur + things ain't joyous around that house the last year, since Miss Estelle's + come there to live. The perfessor, he's so full of scientifics he don't + know nothing with no sense to it, Biddy says. He's got more money'n you + can shake a stick at, and he don't have to do no work, nor never has, and + his scientifics gets worse and worse every year. But while scientifics is + worrying to the nerves of a fambly, and while his labertory often makes + the house smell like a sick drug store has crawled into it and died there, + they wouldn't of been no serious row on between the perfessor and his + wife, not ALL the time, if it hadn't of been fur Miss Estelle. She has + jest natcherally made herself boss of that there house, Biddy says, and + she's a she-devil. Between all them scientifics and Miss Estelle things + has got where Mrs. Booth can't stand 'em much longer. + </p> + <p> + I didn't blame her none fur getting sore on her job, neither. You can't + expect a woman that's purty, and knows it, and ain't no more'n thirty-two + or three, and don't look it, to be serious intrusted in mummies and + pickled snakes and chemical perfusions, not ALL the time. Mebby when Mrs. + Booth would ast him if he was going to take her to the opery that night + the perfessor would look up in an absent-minded sort of way and ast her + did she know them Germans had invented a new germ? It wouldn't of been so + bad if the perfessor had picked out jest one brand of scientifics and + stuck to that reg'lar. Mrs. Booth could of got use to any ONE kind. But + mebby this week the perfessor would be took hard with ornithography and + he'd go chasing humming-birds all over the front yard, and the next he'd + be putting gastronomy into William's breakfast feed. + </p> + <p> + They was always a row on over them kids, which they hadn't been till Miss + Estelle come. Mrs. Booth, she said they could kill their own selves, if + they wanted to, him and Miss Estelle, but she had more right than any one + else to say what went into William's and Margery's digestive ornaments, + and she didn't want 'em brung up scientific nohow, but jest human. But + Miss Estelle's got so she runs that hull house now, and the perfessor too, + but he don't know it, Biddy says, and her a-saying every now and then it + was too bad Frederick couldn't of married a noble woman who would of took + a serious intrust in his work. The kids don't hardly dare to kiss their ma + in front of Miss Estelle no more, on account of germs and things. And with + Miss Estelle taking care of their religious organs and their intellectuals + and the things like that, and the perfessor filling them up on new + invented feeds, I guess they never was two kids got more education to the + square inch, outside and in. It hadn't worked none on Miss Margery yet, + her being younger, but William Dear he took it hard and serious, and it + made bumps all over his head, and he was kind o' pale and spindly. Every + time that kid cut his finger he jest natcherally bled scientifics. One day + I says to Miss Estelle, says I: + </p> + <p> + "It looks to me like William Dear is kind of peaked." She looks worried + and she looks mad fur me lipping in, and then she says mebby it is true, + but she don't see why, because he is being brung up like he orter be in + every way and no expense nor trouble spared. + </p> + <p> + "Well," says I, "what a kid about that size wants to do is to get out and + roll around in the dirt some, and yell and holler." + </p> + <p> + She sniffs like I wasn't worth taking no notice of. But it kind o' soaked + in, too. She and the perfessor must of talked it over. Fur the next day I + seen her spreading a oilcloth on the hall floor. And then James comes a + buttling in with a lot of sand what the perfessor has baked and made all + scientific down in his labertory. James, he pours all that nice, clean + dirt onto the oilcloth and then Miss Estelle sends fur William Dear. + </p> + <p> + "William Dear," she says, "we have decided, your papa and I, that what you + need is more romping around and playing along with your studies. You ought + to get closer to the soil and to nature, as is more healthy for a youth of + your age. So for an hour each day, between your studies, you will romp and + play in this sand. You may begin to frolic now, William Dear, and then + James will sweep up the dirt again for to-morrow's frolic." + </p> + <p> + But William didn't frolic none. He jest looked at that dirt in a sad kind + o' way, and he says very serious but very decided: + </p> + <p> + "Aunt Estelle, I shall NOT frolic." And they had to let it go at that, fur + he never would frolic none, neither. And all that nice clean dirt was + throwed out in the back yard along with the unscientific dirt. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link2HCH0011" id="link2HCH0011"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + CHAPTER XI + </h2> + <p> + One night when I've been there more'n a week, and am getting kind o' tired + staying in one place so long, I don't want to go to bed after I eats, and + I gets a-holt of some of the perfessor's cigars and goes into the lib'ary + to see if he's got anything fit to read. Setting there thinking of the + awful remarkable people they is in this world I must of went to sleep. + Purty soon, in my sleep, I hearn two voices. Then I waked up sudden, and + still hearn 'em, low and quicklike, in the room that opens right off of + the lib'ary with a couple of them sliding doors like is onto a box car. + One voice was a woman's voice, and it wasn't Miss Estelle's. + </p> + <p> + "But I MUST see them before we go, Henry," she says. + </p> + <p> + And the other was a man's voice and it wasn't no one around our house. + </p> + <p> + "But, my God," he says, "suppose you get it yourself, Jane!" + </p> + <p> + I set up straight then, fur Jane was the perfessor's wife's first name. + </p> + <p> + "You mean suppose YOU get it," she says. I like to of seen the look she + must of give him to fit in with the way she says that YOU. He didn't say + nothing, the man didn't; and then her voice softens down some, and she + says, low and slow: "Henry, wouldn't you love me if I DID get it? Suppose + it marked and pitted me all up?" + </p> + <p> + "Oh, of course," he says, "of course I would. Nothing can change the way I + feel. YOU know that." He said it quick enough, all right, jest the way + they does in a show, but it sounded TOO MUCH like it does on the stage to + of suited me if <i>I</i>'D been her. I seen folks overdo them little talks + before this. + </p> + <p> + I listens some more, and then I sees how it is. This is that musician + feller Biddy Malone's been talking about. Jane's going to run off with him + all right, but she's got to kiss the kids first. Women is like that. They + may hate the kids' pa all right, but they's dad-burned few of 'em don't + like the kids. I thinks to myself: "It must be late. I bet they was + already started, or ready to start, and she made him bring her here first + so's she could sneak in and see the kids. She jest simply couldn't get by. + But she's taking a fool risk, too. Fur how's she going to see Margery with + that nurse coming and going and hanging around all night? And even if she + tries jest to see William Dear it's a ten to one shot he'll wake up and + she'll be ketched at it." + </p> + <p> + And then I thinks, suppose she IS ketched at it? What of it? Ain't a woman + got a right to come into her own house with her own door key, even if they + is a quarantine onto it, and see her kids? And if she is ketched seeing + them, how would any one know she was going to run off? And ain't she got a + right to have a friend of hern and her husband's bring her over from her + mother's house, even if it is a little late? + </p> + <p> + Then I seen she wasn't taking no great risks neither, and I thinks mebby I + better go and tell that perfessor what is going on, fur he has treated me + purty white. And then I thinks: "I'll be gosh-derned if I meddle. So fur + as I can see that there perfessor ain't getting fur from what's coming to + him, nohow. And as fur HER, you got to let some people find out what they + want fur theirselves. Anyhow, where do <i>I</i> come in at?" + </p> + <p> + But I want to get a look at her and Henry, anyhow. So I eases off my + shoes, careful-like, and I eases acrost the floor to them sliding doors, + and I puts my eye down to the little crack. The talk is going backward and + forward between them two, him wanting her to come away quick, and her + undecided whether to risk seeing the kids. And all the time she's kind o' + hoping mebby she will be ketched if she tries to see the kids, and she's + begging off fur more time ginerally. + </p> + <p> + Well, sir, I didn't blame that musician feller none when I seen her. She + was a peach. + </p> + <p> + And I couldn't blame her so much, neither, when I thought of Miss Estelle + and all them scientifics of the perfessor's strung out fur years and years + world without end. + </p> + <p> + Yet, when I seen the man, I sort o' wished she wouldn't. I seen right off + that Henry wouldn't do. It takes a man with a lot of gumption to keep a + woman feeling good and not sorry fur doing it when he's married to her. + But it takes a man with twicet as much to make her feel right when they + ain't married. This feller wears one of them little, brown, pointed beards + fur to hide where his chin ain't. And his eyes is too much like a woman's. + Which is the kind that gets the biggest piece of pie at the lunch counter + and fergits to thank the girl as cuts it big. She was setting in front of + a table, twisting her fingers together, and he was walking up and down. I + seen he was mad and trying not to show it, and I seen he was scared of the + smallpox and trying not to show that, too. And jest about that time + something happened that kind o' jolted me. + </p> + <p> + They was one of them big chairs in the room where they was that has got a + high back and spins around on itself. It was right acrost from me, on the + other side of the room, and it was facing the front window, which was a + bow window. And that there chair begins to turn, slow and easy. First I + thought she wasn't turning. Then I seen she was. But Jane and Henry + didn't. They was all took up with each other in the middle of the room, + with their backs to it. + </p> + <p> + Henry is a-begging of Jane, and she turns a little more, that chair does. + Will she squeak, I wonders? + </p> + <p> + "Don't you be a fool, Jane," says the Henry feller. + </p> + <p> + Around she comes three hull inches, that there chair, and nary a squeak. + </p> + <p> + "A fool?" asts Jane, and laughs. "And I'm not a fool to think of going + with you at all, then?" + </p> + <p> + That chair, she moved six inches more and I seen the calf of a leg and + part of a crumpled-up coat tail. + </p> + <p> + "But I AM going with you, Henry," says Jane. And she gets up jest like she + is going to put her arms around him. + </p> + <p> + But Jane don't. Fur that chair swings clear around and there sets the + perfessor. He's all hunched up and caved in and he's rubbing his eyes like + he's jest woke up recent, and he's got a grin onto his face that makes him + look like his sister Estelle looks all the time. + </p> + <p> + "Excuse me," says the perfessor. + </p> + <p> + They both swings around and faces him. I can hear my heart bumping. Jane + never says a word. The man with the brown beard never says a word. But if + they felt like me they both felt like laying right down there and having a + fit. They looks at him and he jest sets there and grins at them. + </p> + <p> + But after a while Jane, she says: + </p> + <p> + "Well, now you KNOW! What are you going to do about it?" + </p> + <p> + Henry, he starts to say something too. But— + </p> + <p> + "Don't start anything," says the perfessor to him. "YOU aren't going to do + anything." Or they was words to that effect. + </p> + <p> + "Professor Booth," he says, seeing he has got to say something or else + Jane will think the worse of him, "I am—" + </p> + <p> + "Keep still," says the perfessor, real quiet. "I'll tend to you in a + minute or two. YOU don't count for much. This thing is mostly between me + and my wife." + </p> + <p> + When he talks so decided I thinks mebby that perfessor has got something + into him besides science after all. Jane, she looks kind o' surprised + herself. But she says nothing, except: + </p> + <p> + "What are you going to do, Frederick?" And she laughs one of them mean + kind of laughs, and looks at Henry like she wanted him to spunk up a + little more, and says: "What CAN you do, Frederick?" + </p> + <p> + Frederick, he says, not excited a bit: + </p> + <p> + "There's quite a number of things I COULD do that would look bad when they + got into the newspapers. But it's none of them, unless one of you forces + me to it." Then he says: + </p> + <p> + "You DID want to see the children, Jane?" + </p> + <p> + She nodded. + </p> + <p> + "Jane," he says, "can't you see I'm the better man?" + </p> + <p> + The perfessor, he was woke up after all them years of scientifics, and he + didn't want to see her go. "Look at him," he says, pointing to the feller + with the brown beard, "he's scared stiff right now." + </p> + <p> + Which I would of been scared myself if I'd a-been ketched that-a-way like + Henry was, and the perfessor's voice sounding like you was chopping ice + every time he spoke. I seen the perfessor didn't want to have no blood on + the carpet without he had to have it, but I seen he was making up his mind + about something, too. Jane, she says: + </p> + <p> + "YOU a better man? YOU? You think you've been a model husband just because + you've never beaten me, don't you?" + </p> + <p> + "No," says the perfessor, "I've been a blamed fool all right. I've been a + worse fool, maybe, than if I HAD beaten you." Then he turns to Henry and + he says: + </p> + <p> + "Duels are out of fashion, aren't they? And a plain killing looks bad in + the papers, doesn't it? Well, you just wait for me." With which he gets up + and trots out, and I hearn him running down stairs to his labertory. + </p> + <p> + Henry, he'd ruther go now. He don't want to wait. But with Jane a-looking + at him he's shamed not to wait. It's his place to make some kind of a + strong action now to show Jane he is a great man. But he don't do it. And + Jane is too much of a thoroughbred to show him she expects it. And me, I'm + getting the fidgets and wondering to myself, "What is that there perfessor + up to now? Whatever it is, it ain't like no one else. He is looney, that + perfessor is. And she is kind o' looney, too. I wonder if they is any one + that ain't looney sometimes?" I been around the country a good 'eal, too, + and seen and hearn of some awful remarkable things, and I never seen no + one that wasn't more or less looney when the SEARCH US THE FEMM comes into + the case. Which is a Dago word I got out'n a newspaper and it means: "Who + was the dead gent's lady friend?" And we all set and sweat and got the + fidgets waiting fur that perfessor to come back. + </p> + <p> + Which he done with that Sister Estelle grin onto his face and a pill box + in his hand. They was two pills in the box. He says, placid and chilly: + </p> + <p> + "Yes, sir, duels are out of fashion. This is the age of science. All the + same, the one that gets her has got to fight for her. If she isn't worth + fighting for, she isn't worth having. Here are two pills. I made 'em + myself. One has enough poison in it to kill a regiment when it gets to + working well—which it does fifteen minutes after it is taken. The + other one has got nothing harmful in it. If you get the poison one, I keep + her. If I get it, you can have her. Only I hope you will wait long enough + after I'm dead so there won't be any scandal around town." + </p> + <p> + Henry, he never said a word. He opened his mouth, but nothing come of it. + When he done that I thought I hearn his tongue scrape agin his cheek on + the inside like a piece of sand-paper. He was scared, Henry was. + </p> + <p> + "But YOU know which is which," Jane sings out. "The thing's not fair!" + </p> + <p> + "That is the reason my dear Jane is going to shuffle these pills around + each other herself," says the perfessor, "and then pick out one for him + and one for me. YOU don't know which is which, Jane. And as he is the + favourite, he is going to get the first chance. If he gets the one I want + him to get, he will have just fifteen minutes to live after taking it. In + that fifteen minutes he will please to walk so far from my house that he + won't die near it and make a scandal. I won't have a scandal without I + have to. Everything is going to be nice and quiet and respectable. The + effect of the poison is similar to heart failure. No one can tell the + difference on the corpse. There's going to be no blood anywhere. I will be + found dead in my house in the morning with heart failure, or else he will + be picked up dead in the street, far enough away so as to make no talk." + Or they was words to that effect. + </p> + <p> + He is rubbing it in considerable, I thinks, that perfessor is. I wonder if + I better jump in and stop the hull thing. Then I thinks: "No, it's between + them three." Besides, I want to see which one is going to get that there + loaded pill. I always been intrusted in games of chancet of all kinds, and + when I seen the perfessor was such a sport, I'm sorry I been misjudging + him all this time. + </p> + <p> + Jane, she looks at the box, and she breathes hard and quick. + </p> + <p> + "I won't touch 'em," she says. "I refuse to be a party to any murder of + that kind." + </p> + <p> + "Huh? You do?" says the perfessor. "But the time when you might have + refused has gone by. You have made yourself a party to it already. You're + really the MAIN party to it. + </p> + <p> + "But do as you like," he goes on. "I'm giving him more chance than I ought + to with those pills. I might shoot him, and I would, and then face the + music, if it wasn't for mixing the children up in the scandal, Jane. If + you want to see him get a fair chance, Jane, you've got to hand out these + pills, one to him and then one to me. YOU must kill one or the other of + us, or else <i>I</i>'LL kill HIM the other way. And YOU had better pick + one out for him, because <i>I</i> know which is which. Or else let him + pick one out for himself," he says. + </p> + <p> + Henry, he wasn't saying nothing. I thought he had fainted. But he hadn't. + I seen him licking his lips. I bet Henry's mouth was all dry inside. + </p> + <p> + Jane, she took the box and she went round in front of Henry and she looked + at him hard. She looked at him like she was thinking: "Fur God's sake, + spunk up some, and take one if it DOES kill you!" Then she says out loud: + "Henry, if you die I will die, too!" + </p> + <p> + And Henry, he took one. His hand shook, but he took it out'n the box. If + she had of looked like that at me mebby I would of took one myself. Fur + Jane, she was a peach, she was. But I don't know whether I would of or + not. When she makes that brag about dying, I looked at the perfessor. What + she said never fazed him. And I thinks agin: "Mebby I better jump in now + and stop this thing." And then I thinks agin: "No, it is between them + three and Providence." Besides, I'm anxious to see who is going to get + that pill with the science in it. I gets to feeling jest like Providence + hisself was in that there room picking out them pills with his own hands. + And I was anxious to see what Providence's ideas of right and wrong was + like. So fur as I could see they was all three in the wrong, but if I had + of been in there running them pills in Providence's place I would of let + them all off kind o' easy. + </p> + <p> + Henry, he ain't eat his pill yet. He is jest looking at it and shaking. + The perfessor pulls out his watch and lays it on the table. + </p> + <p> + "It is a quarter past eleven," he says. "Mr. Murray, are you going to make + me shoot you, after all? I didn't want a scandal," he says. "It's for you + to say whether you want to eat that pill and get your even chance, or + whether you want to get shot. The shooting method is sure, but it causes + talk. These pills won't. WHICH?" + </p> + <p> + And he pulls a revolver. Which I suppose he had got that too when he went + down after them pills. + </p> + <p> + Henry, he looks at the gun. + </p> + <p> + Then he looks at the pill. + </p> + <p> + Then he swallers the pill. + </p> + <p> + The perfessor puts his gun back into his pocket, and then he puts his pill + into his mouth. He don't swaller it. He looks at the watch, and he looks + at Henry. + </p> + <p> + "Sixteen minutes past eleven," he says. "AT EXACTLY TWENTY-NINE MINUTES TO + TWELVE MR. MURRAY WILL BE DEAD. I got the harmless one. I can tell by the + taste." + </p> + <p> + And he put the pieces out into his hand, to show that he has chewed his'n + up, not being willing to wait fifteen minutes fur a verdict from his + digestive ornaments. Then he put them pieces back into his mouth and + chewed 'em up and swallered 'em down like he was eating cough drops. + </p> + <p> + Henry has got sweat breaking out all over his face, and he tries to make + fur the door, but he falls down onto a sofa. + </p> + <p> + "This is murder," he says, weak-like. And he tries to get up again, but + this time he falls to the floor in a dead faint. + </p> + <p> + "It's a dern short fifteen minutes," I thinks to myself. "That perfessor + must of put more science into Henry's pill than he thought he did fur it + to of knocked him out this quick. It ain't skeercly three minutes." + </p> + <p> + When Henry falls the woman staggers and tries to throw herself on top of + him. The corners of her mouth was all drawed down, and her eyes was turned + up. But she don't yell none. She can't. She tries, but she jest gurgles in + her throat. The perfessor won't let her fall acrost Henry. He ketches her. + "Sit up, Jane," he says, with that Estelle look onto his face, "and let us + have a talk." + </p> + <p> + She looks at him with no more sense in her face than a piece of putty has + got. But she can't look away from him. + </p> + <p> + And I'm kind o' paralyzed, too. If that feller laying on the floor had + only jest kicked oncet, or grunted, or done something, I could of loosened + up and yelled, and I would of. I jest NEEDED to fetch a yell. But Henry + ain't more'n dropped down there till I'm feeling jest like he'd ALWAYS + been there, and I'd ALWAYS been staring into that room, and the last word + any one spoke was said hundreds and hundreds of years ago. + </p> + <p> + "You're a murderer," says Jane in a whisper, looking at the perfessor in + that stare-eyed way. "You're a MURDERER," she says, saying it like she was + trying to make herself feel sure he really was one. + </p> + <p> + "Murder!" says the perfessor. "Did you think I was going to run any + chances for a pup like him? He's scared, that's all. He's just fainted + through fright. He's a coward. Those pills were both just bread and sugar. + He'll be all right in a minute or two. I've just been showing you that the + fellow hasn't got nerve enough nor brains enough for a fine woman like + you, Jane," he says. + </p> + <p> + Then Jane begins to sob and laugh, both to oncet, kind o' wild like, her + voice clucking like a hen does, and she says: + </p> + <p> + "It's worse then, it's worse! It's worse for me than if it were a murder! + Some farces can be more tragic than any tragedy ever was," she says. Or + they was words to that effect. + </p> + <p> + And if Henry had of been really dead she couldn't of took it no harder + than she begun to take it now when she saw he was alive, but jest wasn't + no good. But I seen she was taking on fur herself now more'n fur Henry. + Doctor Kirby always use to say women is made unlike most other animals in + many ways. When they is foolish about a man they can stand to have that + man killed a good 'eal better than to have him showed up ridiculous right + in front of them. They will still be crazy about the man that is dead, + even if he was crooked. But they don't never forgive the fellow that lets + himself be made a fool and lets them look foolish, too. And when the + perfessor kicks Henry in the ribs, and Henry comes to and sneaks out, + Jane, she never even turns her head and looks at him. + </p> + <p> + "Jane," says the perfessor, when she quiets down some, "you have a lot o' + things to forgive me. But do you suppose I have learned enough so that we + can make a go of it if we start all over again?" + </p> + <p> + But Jane she never said nothing. + </p> + <p> + "Jane," he says, "Estelle is going back to New England, as soon as Margery + gets well, and she will stay there for good." + </p> + <p> + Jane, she begins to take a little intrust then. + </p> + <p> + "Did Estelle tell you so?" she asts. + </p> + <p> + "No," says the perfessor. "Estelle doesn't know it yet. I'm going to break + the news to her in the morning." + </p> + <p> + But Jane still hates him. She's making herself hate him hard. She wouldn't + of been a human woman if she had let herself be coaxed up all to oncet. + Purty soon she says: "I'm tired." And she went out looking like the + perfessor was a perfect stranger. She was a peace, Jane was. + </p> + <p> + After she left, the perfessor set there quite a spell and smoked. And he + was looking tired out, too. They wasn't no mistake about me. I was jest + dead all through my legs. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link2HCH0012" id="link2HCH0012"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + CHAPTER XII + </h2> + <p> + I was down in the perfessor's labertory one day, and that was a queer + place. They was every kind of scientifics that has ever been discovered in + it. Some was pickled in bottles and some was stuffed and some was pinned + to the walls with their wings spread out. If you took hold of anything, it + was likely to be a skull and give you the shivers or some electric + contraption and shock you; and if you tipped over a jar and it broke, + enough germs might get loose to slaughter a hull town. I was helping the + perfessor to unpack a lot of stuff some friends had sent him, and I + noticed a bottle that had onto it, blowed in the glass: + </p> + <p> + DANIEL, DUNNE AND COMPANY + </p> + <p> + "That's funny," says I, out loud. + </p> + <p> + "What is?" asts the perfessor. + </p> + <p> + I showed him the bottle and told him how I was named after the company + that made 'em. He says to look around me. They is all kinds of glassware + in that room—bottles and jars and queer-shaped things with crooked + tails and noses—and nigh every piece of glass the perfessor owns is + made by that company. + </p> + <p> + "Why," says the perfessor, "their factory is in this very town." + </p> + <p> + And nothing would do fur me but I must go and see that factory. I couldn't + till the quarantine was pried loose from our house. But when it was, I + went down town and hunted up the place and looked her over. + </p> + <p> + It was a big factory, and I was kind of proud of that. I was glad she + wasn't no measly, little, old-fashioned, run-down concern. Of course, I + wasn't really no relation to it and it wasn't none to me. But I was named + fur it, too, and it come about as near to being a fambly as anything I had + ever had or was likely to find. So I was proud it seemed to be doing so + well. + </p> + <p> + I thinks as I looks at her of the thousands and thousands of bottles that + has been coming out of there fur years and years, and will be fur years + and years to come. And one bottle not so much different from another one. + And all that was really knowed about me was jest the name on one out of + all them millions and millions of bottles. It made me feel kind of queer, + when I thought of that, as if I didn't have no separate place in the world + any more than one of them millions of bottles. If any one will shut his + eyes and say his own name over and over agin fur quite a spell, he will + get kind of wonderized and mesmerized a-doing it—he will begin to + wonder who the dickens he is, anyhow, and what he is, and what the + difference between him and the next feller is. He will wonder why he + happens to be himself and the next feller HIMSELF. He wonders where + himself leaves off and the rest of the world begins. I been that way + myself—all wonderized, so that I felt jest like I was a melting + piece of the hull creation, and it was all shifting and drifting and + changing and flowing, and not solid anywhere, and I could hardly keep + myself from flowing into it. It makes a person feel awful queer, like + seeing a ghost would. It makes him feel like HE wasn't no solider than a + ghost himself. Well, if you ever done that and got that feeling, you KNOW + what I mean. All of a sudden, when I am trying to take in all them + millions and millions of bottles, it rushed onto me, that feeling, strong. + Thinking of them bottles had somehow brung it on. The bigness of the hull + creation, and the smallness of me, and the gait at which everything was + racing and rushing ahead, made me want to grab hold of something solid and + hang on. + </p> + <p> + I reached out my hand, and it hit something solid all right. It was a + feller who was wheeling out a hand truck loaded with boxes from the + shipping department. I had been standing by the shipping department door, + and I reached right agin him. + </p> + <p> + He wants to know if I am drunk or a blanked fool. So after some talk of + that kind I borrows a chew of tobacco of him and we gets right well + acquainted. + </p> + <p> + I helped him finish loading his wagon and rode over to the freight depot + with him and helped him unload her. Lifting one of them boxes down from + the wagon I got such a shock I like to of dropped her. + </p> + <p> + Fur she was marked so many dozen, glass, handle with care, and she was + addressed to Dr. Hartley L. Kirby, Atlanta, Ga. + </p> + <p> + I managed to get that box onto the platform without busting her, and then + I sets down on top of her awful weak. + </p> + <p> + "What's the matter?" asts the feller I was with. + </p> + <p> + "Nothing," says I. + </p> + <p> + "You look sick," he says. And I WAS feeling that-a-way. + </p> + <p> + "Mebby I do," says I, "and it's enough to shake a feller up to find a dead + man come to life sudden like this." + </p> + <p> + "Great snakes, no!" says he, looking all around, "where?" + </p> + <p> + But I didn't stop to chew the rag none. I left him right there, with his + mouth wide open, staring after me like I was crazy. Half a block away I + looked back and I seen him double over and slap his knee and laugh loud, + like he had hearn a big joke, but what he was laughing at I never knew. + </p> + <p> + I was tickled. Tickled? Jest so tickled I was plumb foolish with it. The + doctor was alive after all—I kept saying it over and over to myself—he + hadn't drownded nor blowed away. And I was going to hunt him up. + </p> + <p> + I had a little money. The perfessor had paid it to me. He had give me a + job helping take care of his hosses and things like that, and wanted me to + stay, and I had been thinking mebby I would fur a while. But not now! + </p> + <p> + I calkelated I could grab a ride that very night that would put me into + Evansville the next morning. I figgered if I ketched a through freight + from there on the next night I might get where he was almost as quick as + them bottles did. + </p> + <p> + I didn't think it was no use writing out my resignation fur the perfessor. + But I got quite a bit of grub from Biddy Malone to make a start on, fur I + didn't figger on spending no more money than I had to on grub. She asts me + a lot of questions, and I had to lie to her a good deal, but I got the + grub. And at ten that night I was in an empty bumping along south, along + with a cross-eyed feller named Looney Hogan who happened to be travelling + the same way. + </p> + <p> + Riding on trains without paying fare ain't always the easy thing it + sounds. It is like a trade that has got to be learned. They is different + ways of doing it. I have done every way frequent, except one. That I give + up after trying her two, three times. That is riding the rods down + underneath the cars, with a piece of board put acrost 'em to lay yourself + on. + </p> + <p> + I never want to go ANYWHERES agin bad enough to ride the rods. + </p> + <p> + Because sometimes you arrive where you are going to partly smeared over + the trucks and in no condition fur to be made welcome to our city, as + Doctor Kirby would say. Sometimes you don't arrive. Every oncet in a while + you read a little piece in a newspaper about a man being found alongside + the tracks, considerable cut up, or laying right acrost them, mebby. He is + held in the morgue a while and no one knows who he is, and none of the + train crew knows they has run over a man, and the engineer says they + wasn't none on the track. More'n likely that feller has been riding the + rods, along about the middle of the train. Mebby he let himself go to + sleep and jest rolled off. Mebby his piece of board slipped and he fell + when the train jolted. Or mebby he jest natcherally made up his mind he + rather let loose and get squashed then get any more cinders into his eyes. + Riding the blind baggage or the bumpers gives me all the excitement I + wants, or all the gambling chancet either; others can have the rods fur + all of me. And they IS some people ackshally says they likes 'em best. + </p> + <p> + A good place, if it is winter time, is the feed rack over a cattle car, + fur the heat and steam from all them steers in there will keep you warm. + But don't crawl in no lumber car that is only loaded about half full, and + short lengths and bundles of laths and shingles in her; fur they is likely + to get to shifting and bumping. Baled hay is purty good sometimes. Myself, + not being like these bums that is too proud to work, I have often helped + the fireman shovel coal and paid fur my ride that-a-way. But an empty, fur + gineral purposes, will do about as well as anything. + </p> + <p> + This feller Looney Hogan that was with me was a kind of a harmless + critter, and he didn't know jest where he was going, nor why. He was + mostly scared of things, and if you spoke to him quick he shivered first + and then grinned idiotic so you wouldn't kick him, and when he talked he + had a silly little giggle. He had been made that-a-way in a reform school + where they took him young and tried to work the cussedness out'n him by + batting him around. They worked it out, and purty nigh everything else + along with it, I guess. Looney had had a pardner whose name was Slim, he + said; but a couple of years before Slim had fell overboard off'n a barge + up to Duluth and never come up agin. Looney knowed Slim was drownded all + right, but he was always travelling around looking at tanks and freight + depots and switch shanties, fur Slim's mark to be fresh cut with a knife + somewheres, so he would know where to foller and ketch up with him agin. + He knowed he would never find Slim's mark, he said, but he kept a-looking, + and he guessed that was the way he got the name of Looney. + </p> + <p> + Looney left me at Evansville. He said he was going east from there, he + guessed. And I went along south. But I was hindered considerable, being + put off of trains three or four times, and having to grab these here slow + local freights between towns all the way down through Kentuckey. Anywheres + south of the Ohio River and east of the Mississippi River trainmen is + grouchier to them they thinks is bums than north of it, anyhow. And in + some parts of it, if a real bum gets pinched, heaven help 'im, fur nothing + else won't. + </p> + <p> + One night, between twelve and one o'clock, I was put off of a freight + train fur the second time in a place in the northern part of Tennessee, + right near the Kentuckey line. I set down in a lumber yard near the + railroad track, and when she started up agin I grabbed onto the iron + ladder and swung myself aboard. But the brakeman was watching fur me, and + clumb down the ladder and stamped on my fingers. So I dropped off, with + one finger considerable mashed, and set down in that lumber yard wondering + what next. + </p> + <p> + It was a dark night, and so fur as I could see they wasn't much moving in + that town. Only a few places was lit up. One was way acrost the town + square from me, and it was the telephone exchange, with a man operator + reading a book in there. The other was the telegraph room in the depot + about a hundred yards from me, and they was only two fellers in it, both + smoking. The main business part of the town was built up around the + square, like lots of old-fashioned towns is, and they was jest enough + brightness from four, five electric lights to show the shape of the square + and be reflected from the windows of the closed-up stores. + </p> + <p> + I knowed they was likely a watchman somewheres about, too. I guessed I + wouldn't wander around none and run no chances of getting took up by him. + So I was getting ready to lay down on top of a level pile of boards and go + to sleep when I hearn a curious kind of noise a way off, like it must be + at the edge of town. + </p> + <p> + It sounded like quite a bunch of cattle might shuffling along a dusty + road. The night was so quiet you could hear things plain from a long ways + off. It growed a little louder and a little nearer. And then it struck a + plank bridge somewheres, and come acrost it with a clatter. Then I knowed + it wasn't cattle. Cows and steers don't make that cantering kind of noise + as a rule; they trot. It was hosses crossing that bridge. And they was + quite a lot of 'em. + </p> + <p> + As they struck the dirt road agin, I hearn a shot. And then another and + another. Then a dozen all to oncet, and away off through the night a woman + screamed. + </p> + <p> + I seen the man in the telephone place fling down his book and grab a + pistol from I don't know where. He stepped out into the street and fired + three shots into the air as fast as he could pull the trigger. And as he + done so they was a light flashed out in a building way down the railroad + track, and shots come answering from there. Men's voices began to yell + out; they was the noise of people running along plank sidewalks, and + windows opening in the dark. Then with a rush the galloping noise come + nearer, come closet; raced by the place where I was hiding, and nigh a + hundred men with guns swept right into the middle of that square and + pulled their hosses up. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link2HCH0013" id="link2HCH0013"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + CHAPTER XIII + </h2> + <p> + I seen the feller from the telephone exchange run down the street a little + ways as the first rush hit the square, and fire his pistol twice. Then he + turned and made fur an alleyway, but as he turned they let him have it. He + throwed up his arms and made one long stagger, right acrost the bar of + light that streamed out of the windows, and he fell into the shadder, out + of sight, jest like a scorched moth drops dead into the darkness from a + torch. + </p> + <p> + Out of the middle of that bunch of riders come a big voice, yelling + numbers, instead of men's names. Then different crowds lit out in all + directions—some on foot, while others held their hosses—fur + they seemed to have a plan laid ahead. + </p> + <p> + And then things began to happen. They happened so quick and with such a + whirl it was all unreal to me—shots and shouts, and windows breaking + as they blazed away at the store fronts all around the square—and + orders and cuss-words ringing out between the noise of shooting—and + those electric lights shining on them as they tossed and trampled, and + showing up masked faces here and there—and pounding hoofs, and + hosses scream—like humans with excitement—and spurts of flame + squirted sudden out of the ring of darkness round about the open place—and + a bull-dog shut up in a store somewheres howling himself hoarse—and + white puffs of powder smoke like ghosts that went a-drifting by the lights—it + was all unreal to me, as if I had a fever and was dreaming it. That square + was like a great big stage in front of me, and I laid in the darkness on + my lumber pile and watched things like a show—not much scared + because it WAS so derned unreal. + </p> + <p> + From way down along the railroad track they come a sort of blunted roar, + like blasting big stumps out—and then another and another. Purty + soon, down that way, a slim flame licked up the side of a big building + there, and crooked its tongue over the top. Then a second big building + right beside it ketched afire, and they both showed up in their own light, + big and angry and handsome, and the light showed up the men in front of + 'em, too—guarding 'em, I guess, fur fear the town would get its + nerve and make a fight to put 'em out. They begun to light the whole town + up as light as day, and paint a red patch onto the sky, that must of been + noticed fur miles around. It was a mighty purty sight to see 'em burn. The + smoke was rolling high, too, and the sparks flying and other things in + danger of ketching, and after while a lick of smoke come drifting up my + way. I smelt her. It was tobacco burning in them warehouses. + </p> + <p> + But that town had some fight in her, in spite of being took unexpected + that-a-way. It wasn't no coward town. The light from the burning buildings + made all the shadders around about seem all the darker. And every once in + a while, after the surprise of the first rush, they would come thin little + streaks of fire out of the darkness somewheres, and the sound of shots. + And then a gang of riders would gallop in that direction shooting up all + creation. But by the time the warehouses was all lit up so that you could + see they was no hope of putting them out the shooting from the darkness + had jest about stopped. + </p> + <p> + It looked like them big tobacco warehouses was the main object of the + raid. Fur when they was burning past all chancet of saving, with walls and + floors a-tumbling and crashing down and sending up great gouts of fresh + flame as they fell, the leader sings out an order, and all that is not on + their hosses jumps on, and they rides away from the blaze. They come + across the square—not galloping now, but taking it easy, laughing + and talking and cussing and joking each other—and passed right by my + lumber pile agin and down the street they had come. You bet I laid low on + them boards while they was going by, and flattened myself out till I felt + like a shingle. + </p> + <p> + As I hearn their hoof-sounds getting farther off, I lifts up my head agin. + But they wasn't all gone, either. Three that must of been up to some + pertic'ler deviltry of their own come galloping acrost the square to ketch + up with the main bunch. Two was quite a bit ahead of the third one, and he + yelled to them to wait. But they only laughed and rode harder. + </p> + <p> + And then fur some fool reason that last feller pulled up his hoss and + stopped. He stopped in the road right in front of me, and wheeled his hoss + acrost the road and stood up in his stirrups and took a long look at that + blaze. You'd 'a' said he had done it all himself and was mighty proud of + it, the way he raised his head and looked back at that town. He was so + near that I hearn him draw in a slow, deep breath. He stood still fur most + a minute like that, black agin the red sky, and then he turned his hoss's + head and jabbed him with his stirrup edge. + </p> + <p> + Jest as the hoss started they come a shot from somewheres behind me. I + s'pose they was some one hid in the lumber piles, where the street crossed + the railway, besides myself. The hoss jumped forward at the shot, and the + feller swayed sideways and dropped his gun and lost his stirrups and come + down heavy on the ground. His hoss galloped off. I heard the noise of some + one running off through the dark, and stumbling agin the lumber. It was + the feller who had fired the shot running away. I suppose he thought the + rest of them riders would come back, when they heard that shot, and hunt + him down. + </p> + <p> + I thought they might myself. But I laid there, and jest waited. If they + come, I didn't want to be found running. But they didn't come. The two + last ones had caught up with the main gang, I guess, fur purty soon I + hearn them all crossing that plank bridge agin, and knowed they was gone. + </p> + <p> + At first I guessed the feller on the ground must be dead. But he wasn't, + fur purty soon I hearn him groan. He had mebby been stunned by his fall, + and was coming to enough to feel his pain. + </p> + <p> + I didn't feel like he orter be left there. So I clumb down and went over + to him. He was lying on one side all kind of huddled up. There had been a + mask on his face, like the rest of them, with some hair onto the bottom of + it to look like a beard. But now it had slipped down till it hung loose + around his neck by the string. They was enough light to see he wasn't + nothing but a young feller. He raised himself slow as I come near him, + leaning on one arm and trying to set up. The other arm hung loose and + helpless. Half setting up that-away he made a feel at his belt with his + good hand, as I come near. But that good arm was his prop, and when he + took it off the ground he fell back. His hand come away empty from his + belt. + </p> + <p> + The big six-shooter he had been feeling fur wasn't in its holster, anyhow. + It had fell out when he tumbled. I picked it up in the road jest a few + feet from his shot-gun, and stood there with it in my hand, looking down + at him. + </p> + <p> + "Well," he says, in a drawly kind of voice, slow and feeble, but looking + at me steady and trying to raise himself agin, "yo' can finish yo' little + job now—yo' shot me from the darkness, and now yo' done got my + pistol. I reckon yo' better shoot AGIN." + </p> + <p> + "I don't want to rub it in none," I says, "with you down and out, but from + what I seen around this town to-night I guess you and your own gang got no + GREAT objections to shooting from the dark yourselves." + </p> + <p> + "Why don't yo' shoot then?" he says. "It most suttinly is YO' turn now." + And he never batted an eye. + </p> + <p> + "Bo," I says, "you got nerve. I LIKE you, Bo. I didn't shoot you, and I + ain't going to. The feller that did has went. I'm going to get you out of + this. Where you hurt?" + </p> + <p> + "Hip," he says, "but that ain't much. The thing that bothers me is this + arm. It's done busted. I fell on it." + </p> + <p> + I drug him out of the road and back of the lumber pile I had been laying + on, and hurt him considerable a-doing it. + </p> + <p> + "Now," I says, "what can I do fur you?" + </p> + <p> + "I reckon yo' better leave me," he says, "without yo' want to get yo'self + mixed up in all this." + </p> + <p> + "If I do," I says, "you may bleed to death here: or anyway you would get + found in the morning and be run in." + </p> + <p> + "Yo' mighty good to me," says he, "considering yo' are no kin to this here + part of the country at all. I reckon by yo' talk yo' are one of them damn + Yankees, ain't yo'?" + </p> + <p> + In Illinoise a Yankee is some one from the East, but down South he is + anybody from north of the Ohio, and though that there war was fought forty + years ago some of them fellers down there don't know damn and Yankee is + two words yet. But shucks!—they don't mean no harm by it! So I tells + him I am a damn Yankee and asts him agin if I can do anything fur him. + </p> + <p> + "Yes," he says, "yo' can tell a friend of mine Bud Davis has happened to + an accident, and get him over here quick with his wagon to tote me home." + </p> + <p> + I was to go down the railroad track past them burning warehouses till I + come to the third street, and then turn to my left. "The third house from + the track has got an iron picket fence in front of it," says Bud, "and + it's the only house in that part of town which has. Beauregard Peoples + lives there. He is kin to me." + </p> + <p> + "Yes," I says, "and Beauregard is jest as likely as not going to take a + shot out of the front window at me, fur luck, afore I can tell him what I + want. It seems to be a kind of habit in these here parts to-night—I'm + getting homesick fur Illinoise. But I'll take a chancet." + </p> + <p> + "He won't shoot," says Bud, "if yo' go about it right. Beauregard ain't + going to be asleep with all this going on in town to-night. Yo' rattle on + the iron gate and he'll holler to know what yo' all want." + </p> + <p> + "If he don't shoot first," I says. + </p> + <p> + "When he hollers, yo' cry back at him yo' have found his OLD DEAD HOSS in + the road. It won't hurt to holler that loud, and that will make him let + you within talking distance." + </p> + <p> + "His old DEAD HOSS?" + </p> + <p> + "Yo' don't need to know what that is. HE will." And then Bud told me + enough of the signs and words to say, and things to do, to keep Beauregard + from shooting—he said he reckoned he had trusted me so much he might + as well go the hull hog. Beauregard, he says, belongs to them riders too; + they have friends in all the towns that watches the lay of the land fur + them, he says. + </p> + <p> + I made a long half-circle around them burning buildings, keeping in the + dark, fur people was coming out in bunches, now that it was all over with, + watching them fires burning, and talking excited, and saying the riders + should be follered—only not follering. + </p> + <p> + I found the house Bud meant, and they was a light in the second-story + window. I rattled on the gate. A dog barked somewheres near, but I hearn + his chain jangle and knowed he was fast, and I rattled on the gate agin. + </p> + <p> + The light moved away from the window. Then another front window opened + quiet, and a voice says: + </p> + <p> + "Doctor, is that yo' back agin?" + </p> + <p> + "No," I says, "I ain't a doctor." + </p> + <p> + "Stay where you are, then. <i>I</i> GOT YOU COVERED." + </p> + <p> + "I am staying," I says, "don't shoot." + </p> + <p> + "Who are yo'?" + </p> + <p> + "A feller," I says, kind of sensing his gun through the darkness as I + spoke, "who has found your OLD DEAD HOSS in the road." + </p> + <p> + He didn't answer fur several minutes. Then he says, using the words DEAD + HOSS as Bud had said he would. + </p> + <p> + "A DEAD HOSS is fitten fo' nothing but to skin." + </p> + <p> + "Well," I says, using the words fur the third time, as instructed, "it is + a DEAD HOSS all right." + </p> + <p> + I hearn the window shut and purty soon the front door opened. + </p> + <p> + "Come up here," he says. I come. + </p> + <p> + "Who rode that hoss yo' been talking about?" he asts. + </p> + <p> + "One of the SILENT BRIGADE," I tells him, as Bud had told me to say. I + give him the grip Bud had showed me with his good hand. + </p> + <p> + "Come on in," he says. + </p> + <p> + He shut the door behind us and lighted a lamp agin. And we looked each + other over. He was a scrawny little feller, with little gray eyes set near + together, and some sandy-complected whiskers on his chin. I told him about + Bud, and what his fix was. + </p> + <p> + "Damn it—oh, damn it all," he says, rubbing the bridge of his nose, + "I don't see how on AIRTH I kin do it. My wife's jest had a baby. Do yo' + hear that?" + </p> + <p> + And I did hear a sound like kittens mewing, somewheres up stairs. + Beauregard, he grinned and rubbed his nose some more, and looked at me + like he thought that mewing noise was the smartest sound that ever was + made. + </p> + <p> + "Boy," he says, grinning, "bo'n five hours ago. I've done named him Burley—after + the tobaccer association, yo' know. Yes, SIR, Burley Peoples is his name—and + he shore kin squall, the derned little cuss!" + </p> + <p> + "Yes," I says, "you better stay with Burley. Lend me a rig of some sort + and I'll take Bud home." + </p> + <p> + So we went out to Beauregard's stable with a lantern and hitched up one of + his hosses to a light road wagon. He went into the house and come back + agin with a mattress fur Bud to lie on, and a part of a bottle of whiskey. + And I drove back to that lumber pile. I guess I nearly killed Bud getting + him into there. But he wasn't bleeding much from his hip—it was his + arm was giving him fits. + </p> + <p> + We went slow, and the dawn broke with us four miles out of town. It was + broad daylight, and early morning noises stirring everywheres, when we + drove up in front of an old farmhouse, with big brick chimbleys built on + the outside of it, a couple of miles farther on. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link2HCH0014" id="link2HCH0014"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + CHAPTER XIV + </h2> + <p> + As I drove into the yard, a bare-headed old nigger with a game leg throwed + down an armful of wood he was gathering and went limping up to the veranda + as fast as he could. He opened the door and bawled out, pointing to us, + before he had it fairly open: + </p> + <p> + "O Marse WILLyum! O Miss LUCY! Dey've brung him home! DAR he!" + </p> + <p> + A little, bright, black-eyed old lady like a wren comes running out of the + house, and chirps: + </p> + <p> + "O Bud—O my honey boy! Is he dead?" + </p> + <p> + "I reckon not, Miss Lucy," says Bud raising himself up on the mattress as + she runs up to the wagon, and trying to act like everything was all a + joke. She was jest high enough to kiss him over the edge of the wagon box. + A worried-looking old gentleman come out the door, seen Bud and his mother + kissing each other, and then says to the old nigger man: + </p> + <p> + "George, yo' old fool, what do yo' mean by shouting out like that?" + </p> + <p> + "Marse Willyum—" begins George, explaining. + </p> + <p> + "Shut up," says the old gentleman, very quiet. "Take the bay mare and go + for Doctor Po'ter." Then he comes to the wagon and says: + </p> + <p> + "So they got yo', Bud? Yo' WOULD go nightriding like a rowdy and a thug! + Are yo' much hurt?" + </p> + <p> + He said it easy and gentle, more than mad. But Bud, he flushed up, pale as + he was, and didn't answer his dad direct. He turned to his mother and + said: + </p> + <p> + "Miss Lucy, dear, it would 'a' done yo' heart good to see the way them + trust warehouses blazed up!" + </p> + <p> + And the old lady, smiling and crying both to oncet, says, "God bless her + brave boy." But the old gentleman looked mighty serious, and his worry + settled into a frown between his eyes, and he turns to me and says: + </p> + <p> + "Yo' must pardon us, sir, fo' neglecting to thank yo' sooner." I told him + that would be all right, fur him not to worry none. And him and me and + Mandy, which was the nigger cook, got Bud into the house and into his bed. + And his mother gets that busy ordering Mandy and the old gentleman around, + to get things and fix things, and make Bud as easy as she could, that you + could see she was one of them kind of woman that gets a lot of + satisfaction out of having some one sick to fuss over. And after quite a + while George gets back with Doctor Porter. + </p> + <p> + He sets Bud's arm, and he locates the bullet in him, and he says he + guesses he'll do in a few weeks if nothing like blood poisoning nor + gangrene nor inflammation sets in. + </p> + <p> + Only the doctor says he "reckons" instead of he "guesses," which they all + do down there. And they all had them easy-going, wait-a-bit kind of + voices, and didn't see no pertic'ler importance in their "r's." It wasn't + that you could spell it no different when they talked, but it sounded + different. + </p> + <p> + I eat my breakfast with the old gentleman, and then I took a sleep until + time fur dinner. They wouldn't hear of me leaving that night. I fully + intended to go on the next day, but before I knowed it I been there a + couple of days, and have got very well acquainted with that fambly. + </p> + <p> + Well, that was a house divided agin itself. Miss Lucy, she is awful + favourable to all this nightrider business. She spunks up and her eyes + sparkles whenever she thinks about that there tobaccer trust. + </p> + <p> + She would of like to been a night-rider herself. But the old man, he says + law and order is the main pint. What the country needs, he says, ain't + burning down tobaccer warehouses, and shooting your neighbours, and + licking them with switches, fur no wrong done never righted another wrong. + </p> + <p> + "But you were in the Ku Klux Klan yo'self," says Miss Lucy. + </p> + <p> + The old man says the Ku Kluxes was working fur a principle—the + principle of keeping the white supremacy on top of the nigger race. Fur if + you let 'em quit work and go around balloting and voting it won't do. It + makes 'em biggity. And a biggity nigger is laying up trouble fur himself. + Because sooner or later he will get to thinking he is as good as one of + these here Angle-Saxtons you are always hearing so much talk about down + South. And if the Angle-Saxtons was to stand fur that, purty soon they + would be sociable equality. And next the hull dern country would be + niggerized. Them there Angle-Saxtons, that come over from Ireland and + Scotland and France and the Great British Islands and settled up the South + jest simply couldn't afford to let that happen, he says, and so they Ku + Kluxed the niggers to make 'em quit voting. It was THEIR job to MAKE law + and order, he says, which they couldn't be with niggers getting the idea + they had a right to govern. So they Ku Kluxed 'em like gentlemen. But + these here night-riders, he says, is AGIN law and order—they can + shoot up more law and order in one night than can be manufactured agin in + ten years. He was a very quiet, peaceable old man, Mr. Davis was, and Bud + says he was so dern foolish about law and order he had to up and shoot a + man, about fifteen years ago, who hearn him talking that-a-way and said he + reminded him of a Boston school teacher. + </p> + <p> + But Miss Lucy and Bud, they tells me what all them night-ridings is fur. + It seems this here tobaccer trust is jest as mean and low-down and + unprincipled as all the rest of them trusts. The farmers around there + raised considerable tobaccer—more'n they did of anything else. The + trust had shoved the price so low they couldn't hardly make a living. So + they organized and said they would all hold their tobaccer fur a fair + price. But some of the farmers wouldn't organize—said they had a + right to do what they pleased with their own tobaccer. So the night-riders + was formed to burn their barns and ruin their crops and whip 'em and shoot + 'em and make 'em jine. And also to burn a few trust warehouses now and + then, and show 'em this free American people, composed mainly out of the + Angle-Saxton races, wasn't going to take no sass from anybody. + </p> + <p> + An old feller by the name of Rufe Daniels who wouldn't jine the + night-riders had been shot to death on his own door step, jest about a + mile away, only a week or so before. The night-riders mostly used these + here automatic shot-guns, but they didn't bother with birdshot. They + mostly loaded their shells with buckshot. A few bicycle ball bearings + dropped out of old Rufe when they gathered him up and got him into shape + to plant. They is always some low-down cuss in every crowd that carries + things to the point where they get brutal, Bud says; and he feels like + them bicycle bearings was going a little too fur, though he wouldn't let + on to his dad that he felt that-a-way. + </p> + <p> + So fur as I could see they hadn't hurt the trust none to speak of, them + night-riders. But they had done considerable damage to their own county, + fur folks was moving away, and the price of land had fell. Still, I guess + they must of got considerable satisfaction out of raising the deuce nights + that-away; and sometimes that is worth a hull lot to a feller. As fur as I + could make out both the trust and the night-riders was in the wrong. But, + you take 'em one at a time, personal-like, and not into a gang, and most + of them night-riders is good-dispositioned folks. I never knowed any + trusts personal, but mebby if you could ketch 'em the same way they would + be similar. + </p> + <p> + I asts George one day what he thought about it. George, he got mighty + serious right off, like he felt his answer was going to be used to decide + the hull thing by. He was carrying a lot of scraps on a plate to a hound + dog that had a kennel out near George's cabin, and he walled his eyes + right thoughtful, and scratched his head with the fork he had been + scraping the plate with, but fur a while nothing come of it. Finally + George says: + </p> + <p> + "I'se 'spec' mah jedgment des about de same as Marse WILLyum's an' Miss + LUCY's. I'se notice hit mos' ingin'lly am de same." + </p> + <p> + "That can't be, George," says I, "fur they think different ways." + </p> + <p> + "Den if DAT am de case," says George, "dey ain't NO ONE kin settle hit + twell hit settles hitse'f. + </p> + <p> + "I'se mos' ingin'lly notice a thing DO settle hitse'f arter a while. Yass, + SAH, I'se notice dat! Long time ago dey was consid'ble gwines-on in dis + hyah county, Marse Daniel. I dunno ef yo' evah heah 'bout dat o' not, + Marse Daniel, but dey was a wah fit right hyah in dis hyah county. Such + gwines-on as nevah was—dem dar Yankees a-ridin' aroun' an' eatin' up + de face o' de yearth, like de plagues o' Pha'aoah, Marse Daniel, and + rippin' and rarin' an' racin' an' stealin' evehything dey could lay dey + han's on, Marse Daniel. An' ouah folks a-ridin' and a racin' and + projickin' aroun' in de same onsettled way. + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> +"Marse Willyum, he 'low HE gwine settle dat dar wah he-se'f—yass, SAH! +An' he got on he hoss, and he ride away an' jine Marse Jeb Stuart. But +dey don' settle hit. Marse Ab'ham Linkum, he 'low HE gwine settle hit, +an' sen' millyums an' millyums mo' o' dem Yankees down hyah, Marse +Daniel. But dey des ONsettle hit wuss'n evah! But arter a while it des +settle HITse'f. + + "An' den freedom broke out among de niggers, +and dey was mo' gwines-ON, an' talkin', an' some on 'em 'lowed dey was +gwine ter be no mo' wohk, Marse Daniel. But arter a while dat settle +HITse'f, and dey all went back to wohk agin. Den some on de niggers +gits de notion, Marse Daniel, dey gwine foh to VOTE. An' dey was mo' +gwines-on, an' de Ku Kluxes come a projickin' aroun' nights, like de +grave-yahds done been resu'rected, Marse Daniel, an' den arter a while +dat trouble settle HITse'f. +</pre> + <p> + "Den arter de Ku Kluxes dey was de time Miss Lucy Buckner gwine ter mahy + Marse Prent McMakin. An' she don' want to ma'hy him, if dey give her her + druthers about hit. But Ol' Marse Kunnel Hampton, her gram-pa, and her + aunt, MY Miss Lucy hyah, dey ain't gwine give her no druthers. And dey was + mo' gwines-ON. But dat settle HITse'f, too." + </p> + <p> + George, he begins to chuckle, and I ast him how. + </p> + <p> + "Yass, SAH, dat settle HITse'f. But I 'spec' Miss Lucy Buckner done he'p + some in de settleMENT. Foh de day befoh de weddin' was gwine ter be, she + ups an' she runs off wid a Yankee frien' of her brother, Kunnel Tom + Buckner. An' I'se 'spec' Kunnel Tom an' Marse Prent McMakin would o' + settle' HIM ef dey evah had o' cotched him—dat dar David Ahmstrong!" + </p> + <p> + "Who?" says I. + </p> + <p> + "David Ahmstrong was his entitlement," says George, "an' he been gwine to + de same college as Marse Tom Buckner, up no'th somewhah. Dat's how-come he + been visitin' Marse Tom des befoh de weddin' trouble done settle HIT se'f + dat-away." + </p> + <p> + Well, it give me quite a turn to run onto the mention of that there David + Armstrong agin in this part of the country. Here he had been jilting Miss + Hampton way up in Indiany, and running away with another girl down here in + Tennessee. Then it struck me mebby it is jest different parts of the same + story I been hearing of, and Martha had got her part a little wrong. + </p> + <p> + "George," I says, "what did you say Miss Lucy Buckner's gran-dad's name + was?" + </p> + <p> + "Kunnel Hampton—des de same as MY Miss Lucy befo' SHE done ma'hied + Marse Willyum." + </p> + <p> + That made me sure of it. It was the same woman. She had run away with + David Armstrong from this here same neighbourhood. Then after he got her + up North he had left her—or her left him. And then she wasn't Miss + Buckner no longer. And she was mad and wouldn't call herself Mrs. + Armstrong. So she moved away from where any one was lible to trace her to, + and took her mother's maiden name, which was Hampton. + </p> + <p> + "Well," I says, "what ever become of 'em after they run off, George?" + </p> + <p> + But George has told about all he knows. They went North, according to what + everybody thinks, he says. Prent McMakin, he follered and hunted. And Col. + Tom Buckner, he done the same. Fur about a year Colonel Tom, he was always + making trips away from there to the North. But whether he ever got any + track of his sister and that David Armstrong nobody knowed. Nobody never + asked him. Old Colonel Hampton, he grieved and he grieved, and not long + after the runaway he up and died. And Tom Buckner, he finally sold all he + owned in that part of the country and moved further south. George said he + didn't rightly know whether it was Alabama or Florida. Or it might of been + Georgia. + </p> + <p> + I thinks to myself that mebby Mrs. Davis would like to know where her + niece is, and that I better tell her about Miss Hampton being in that + there little Indiany town, and where it is. And then I thinks to myself I + better not butt in. Fur Miss Hampton has likely got her own reasons fur + keeping away from her folks, or else she wouldn't do it. Anyhow, it's none + of MY affair to bring the subject up to 'em. It looks to me like one of + them things George has been gassing about—one of them things that + has settled itself, and it ain't fur me to meddle and unsettle it. + </p> + <p> + It set me to thinking about Martha, too. Not that I hadn't thought of her + lots of times. I had often thought I would write her. But I kept putting + it off, and purty soon I kind of forgot Martha. I had seen a lot of + different girls of all kinds since I had seen Martha. Yet, whenever I + happened to think of Martha, I had always liked her best. Only moving + around the country so much makes it kind of hard to keep thinking steady + of the same girl. Besides, I had lost that there half of a ring, too. + </p> + <p> + But knowing what I did now about Miss Hampton being Miss Buckner—or + Mrs. Armstrong—and related to these Davises made me want to get away + from there. Fur that secret made me feel kind of sneaking, like I wasn't + being frank and open with them. Yet if I had of told 'em I would of felt + sneakinger yet fur giving Miss Hampton away. I never got into a mix up + that-a-way betwixt my conscience and my duty but what it made me feel + awful uncomfortable. So I guessed I would light out from there. They + wasn't never no kinder, better people than them Davises, either. They was + so pleased with my bringing Bud home the night he was shot they would of + jest natcherally give me half their farm if I had of ast them fur it. They + wanted me to stay there—they didn't say fur how long, and I guess + they didn't give a dern. But I was in a sweat to ketch up with Doctor + Kirby agin. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link2HCH0015" id="link2HCH0015"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + CHAPTER XV + </h2> + <p> + I made purty good time, and in a couple of days I was in Atlanta. I knowed + the doctor must of gone back into some branch of the medicine game—the + bottles told me that. I knowed it must be something that he needed some + special kind of bottles fur, too, or he wouldn't of had them shipped all + that distance, but would of bought them nearer. I seen I was a dern fool + fur rushing off and not inquiring what kind of bottles, so I could trace + what he was into easier. + </p> + <p> + It's hard work looking fur a man in a good-sized town. I hung around hotel + lobbies and places till I was tired of it, thinking he might come in. And + I looked through all the office buildings and read all the advertisements + in the papers. Then the second day I was there the state fair started up + and I went out to it. + </p> + <p> + I run acrost a couple I knowed out there the first thing—it was + Watty and the snake-charmer woman. Only she wasn't charming them now. Her + and Watty had a Parisian Models' show. I ast Watty where Dolly was. He + says he don't know, that Dolly has quit him. By which I guess he means he + has quit her. I ast where Reginald is, and the Human Ostrich. But from the + way they answered my questions I seen I wasn't welcome none around there. + I suppose that Mrs. Ostrich and Watty had met up agin somewheres, and had + jest natcherally run off with each other and left their famblies. Like as + not she had left poor old Reginald with that idiotic ostrich feller to + sell to strangers that didn't know his disposition. Or mebby by now + Reginald was turned loose in the open country to shift fur himself, among + wild snakes that never had no human education nor experience; and what + chancet would a friendly snake like Reginald have in a gang like that? + Some women has jest simply got no conscience at all about their husbands + and famblies, and that there Mrs. Ostrich was one of 'em. + </p> + <p> + Well, a feller can be a derned fool sometimes. Fur all my looking around I + wasted a lot of time before I thought of going to the one natcheral place—the + freight depot of the road them bottles had been shipped by. I had lost a + week coming down. But freight often loses more time than that. And it was + at the freight depot that I found him. + </p> + <p> + Tickled? Well, yes! Both of us. + </p> + <p> + "Well, by George," says he, "you're good for sore eyes." + </p> + <p> + Before he told me how he happened not to of drownded or blowed away or + anything he says we better fix up a bit. Which he meant I better. So he + buys me duds from head to heel, and we goes to a Turkish bath place and I + puts 'em on. And then we goes and eats. Hearty. + </p> + <p> + "Now," he says, "Fido Cut-up, how did you find me?"* + </p> + <p> + I told him about the bottles. + </p> + <p> + "A dead loss, those bottles," he says. "I wanted some non-refillable ones + for a little scheme I had in mind, and I had to get them at a certain + place—and now the scheme's up in the air and I can't use 'em." + </p> + <p> + The doctor had changed some in looks in the year or more that had passed + since I saw him floating away in that balloon. And not fur the better. He + told me how he had blowed clean acrost Lake Erie in that there balloon. + And then when he got over land agin and went to pull the cord that lets + the parachute loose it wouldn't work at first. He jest natcherally drifted + on into the midst of nowhere, he said—miles and miles into Canada. + When he lit the balloon had lost so much gas and was flying so low that + the parachute didn't open out quick enough to do much floating. So he lit + hard, and come near being knocked out fur good. But— + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + *AUTHOR'S NOTE—Can it be that Danny struggles vaguely + to report some reference to FIDUS ACHATES? +</pre> + <p> + that wasn't the worst of it, fur the exposure had crawled into his lungs + by the time he found a house, and he got newmonia into them also, and like + to of died. Whilst I was laying sick he had been sick also, only his'n + lasted much longer. + </p> + <p> + But he tells me he has jest struck an idea fur a big scheme. No little + schemes go fur him any more, he says. He wants money. Real money. + </p> + <p> + "How you going to get it?" I asts him. + </p> + <p> + "Come along and I'll tell you," he says. "We'll take a walk, and I'll show + you how I got my idea." + </p> + <p> + We left the restaurant and went along the brag street of that town, which + it is awful proud of, past where the stores stops and the houses begins. + We come to a fine-looking house on a corner—a swell place it was, + with lots of palms and ferns and plants setting on the verandah and + showing through the windows. And stables back of it; and back of the + stables a big yard with noises coming from it like they was circus animals + there. Which I found out later they really was, kept fur pets. You could + tell the people that lived there had money. + </p> + <p> + "This," says Doctor Kirby, as we walked by, "is the house that Jackson + built. Dr. Julius Jackson—OLD Doctor Jackson, the man with an idea! + The idea made all the money you smell around here." + </p> + <p> + "What idea?" + </p> + <p> + "The idea—the glorious humanitarian and philanthropic idea—of + taking the kinks and curls out of the hair of the Afro-American brother," + says Doctor Kirby, "at so much per kink." + </p> + <p> + This Doctor Jackson, he says, sells what he calls Anti-Curl to the + niggers. It is to straighten out their hair so it will look like white + people's hair. They is millions and millions of niggers, and every nigger + has millions and millions of kinks, and so Doctor Jackson has got rich at + it. So rich he can afford to keep that there personal circus menagerie in + his back yard, for his little boy to play with, and many other interesting + things. He must be worth two, three million dollars, Doctor Kirby says, + and still a-making it, with more niggers growing up all the time fur to + have their hair unkinked. Especially mulattoes and yaller niggers. Doctor + Kirby says thinking what a great idea that Anti-Curl was give him his own + great idea. They is a gold mine there, he says, and Dr. Julius Jackson has + only scratched a little off the top of it, but HE is going to dig deeper. + </p> + <p> + "Why is it that the Afro-American brother buys Anti-Curl?" he asts. + </p> + <p> + "Why?" I asts. + </p> + <p> + "Because," he says, "he wants to be as much like a white man as he + possibly can. He strives to burst his birth's invidious bar, Danny. They + talk about progress and education for the Afro-American brother, and + uplift and advancement and industrial education and manual training and + all that sort of thing. Especially we Northerners. But what the + Afro-American brother thinks about and dreams about and longs for and + prays to be—when he thinks at all—is to be white. Education, + to his mind, is learning to talk like a white man. Progress means aping + the white man. Religion is dying and going to heaven and being a WHITE + angel—listen to his prayers and sermons and you'll find that out. + He'll do anything he can, or give anything he can get his Ethiopian + grubhooks on, for something that he thinks is going to make him more like + a white man. Poor devil! Therefore the millions of Doctor Jackson + Anti-Curl. + </p> + <p> + "All this Doctor Jackson Anti-Curl has discovered and thought out and + acted upon. If he had gone just one step farther the Afro-American brother + would have hailed him as a greater man than Abraham Lincoln, or either of + the Washingtons, George or Booker. It remains for me, Danny—for US—to + carry the torch ahead—to take up the work where the imagination of + Doctor Jackson Anti-Curl has laid it down." + </p> + <p> + "How?" asts I. + </p> + <p> + "WE'LL PUT UP AND SELL A PREPARATION TO TURN THE NEGROES WHITE!" + </p> + <p> + THAT was his great idea. He was more excited over it than I ever seen him + before about anything. + </p> + <p> + It sounded like so easy a way to get rich it made me wonder why no one had + ever done it before, if it could really be worked. I didn't believe much + it could be worked. + </p> + <p> + But Doctor Kirby, he says he has begun his experiments already, with + arsenic. Arsenic, he says, will bleach anything. Only he is kind of afraid + of arsenic, too. If he could only get hold of something that didn't cost + much, and that would whiten them up fur a little while, he says, it + wouldn't make no difference if they did get black agin. This here + Anti-Curl stuff works like that—it takes the kinks out fur a little + while, and they come back agin. But that don't seem to hurt the sale none. + It only calls fur MORE of Doctor Jackson's medicine. + </p> + <p> + The doctor takes me around to the place he boards at, and shows me a + nigger waiter he has been experimenting on. He had paid the nigger's fine + in a police court fur slashing another nigger some with a knife, and kept + him from going into the chain-gang. So the nigger agreed he could use his + hide to try different kinds of medicines on. He was a velvety-looking, + chocolate-coloured kind of nigger to start with, and the best Doctor Kirby + had been able to do so fur was to make a few little liver-coloured spots + come onto him. But it was making the nigger sick, and the doctor was + afraid to go too fur with it, fur Sam might die and we would be at the + expense of another nigger. Peroxide of hidergin hadn't even phased him. + Nor a lot of other things we tried onto him. + </p> + <p> + You never seen a nigger with his colour running into him so deep as Sam's + did. Sam, he was always apologizing about it, too. You could see it made + him feel real bad to think his colour was so stubborn. He felt like it + wasn't being polite to the doctor and me, Sam did, fur his skin to act + that-a-way. He was a willing nigger, Sam was. The doctor, he says he will + find out the right stuff if he has to start at the letter A and work Sam + through every drug in the hull blame alphabet down to Z. + </p> + <p> + Which he finally struck it. I don't exactly know what she had in her, but + she was a mixture of some kind. The only trouble with her was she didn't + work equal and even—left Sam's face looking peeled and spotty in + places. But still, in them spots, Sam was six shades lighter. The doctor + says that is jest what he wants, that there passing + on-to-the-next-cage-we-have-the-spotted-girocutus-look, as he calls it. + The chocolate brown and the lighter spots side by side, he says, made a + regular Before and After out of Sam's face, and was the best advertisement + you could have. + </p> + <p> + Then we goes and has a talk with Doctor Jackson himself. Doctor Kirby has + the idea mebby he will put some money into it. Doctor Jackson was setting + on his front veranda with his chair tilted back, and his feet, with red + carpet slippers on 'em, was on the railing, and he was smoking one of + these long black cigars that comes each one in a little glass tube all by + itself. He looks Sam over very thoughtful, and he says: + </p> + <p> + "Yes, it will do the work well enough. I can see that. But will it sell?" + </p> + <p> + Doctor Kirby makes him quite a speech. I never hearn him make a better + one. Doctor Jackson he listens very calm, with his thumbs in the armholes + of his vest, and moving his eyebrows up and down like he enjoyed it. But + he don't get excited none. Finally Doctor Kirby says he will undertake to + show that it will sell—me and him will take a trip down into the + black country ourselves and show what can be done with it, and take Sam + along fur an object lesson. + </p> + <p> + Well, they was a lot of rag-chewing. Doctor Jackson don't warm up none, + and he asts a million questions. Like how much it costs a bottle to make + it, and what was our idea how much it orter sell fur. He says finally if + we can sell a certain number of bottles in so long a time he will put some + money into it. Only, he says, they will be a stock company, and he will + have to have fifty-one per cent. of the stock, or he won't put no money + into it. He says if things go well he will let Doctor Kirby be manager of + that company, and let him have some stock in it too, and he will be + president and treasurer of it himself. + </p> + <p> + Doctor Kirby, he didn't like that, and said so. Said HE was going to + organize that stock company, and control it himself. But Doctor Jackson + said he never put money into nothing he couldn't run. So it was settled we + would give the stuff a try-out and report to him. Before we went away from + there it looked to me like Doctor Kirby and me was going to work fur this + here Doctor Jackson, instead of making all them there millions fur + ourselves. Which I didn't take much to that Anti-Curl man myself; he was + so cold-blooded like. + </p> + <p> + I didn't like the scheme itself any too well, neither. Not any way you + could look at it. In the first place it seemed like a mean trick on the + niggers. Then I didn't much believe we could get away with it. + </p> + <p> + The more I looked him over the more I seen Doctor Kirby had changed + considerable. When I first knowed him he liked to hear himself talking and + he liked to live free and easy and he liked to be running around the + country and all them things, more'n he liked to be making money. Of + course, he wanted it; but that wasn't the ONLY thing he was into the + Sagraw game fur. If he had money, he was free with it and would help most + any one out of a hole. But he wasn't thinking it and talking it all the + time then. + </p> + <p> + But now he was thinking money and dreaming money and talking of nothing + but how to get it. And planning to make it out of skinning them niggers. + He didn't care a dern how he worked on their feelings to get it. He didn't + even seem to care whether he killed Sam trying them drugs onto him. He + wanted MONEY, and he wanted it so bad he was ready and willing to take up + with most any wild scheme to make it. + </p> + <p> + They was something about him now that didn't fit in much with the Doctor + Kirby I had knowed. It seemed like he had spells when he saw himself how + he had changed. He wasn't gay and joking all the time like he had been + before, neither. I guess the doctor was getting along toward fifty years + old. I suppose he thought if he was ever going to get anything out of his + gift of the gab he better settle down to something, and quit fooling + around, and do it right away. But it looked to me like he might never turn + the trick. Fur he was drinking right smart all the time. Drinking made him + think a lot, and thinking was making him look old. He was more'n one year + older than he had been a year ago. + </p> + <p> + He kept a quart bottle in his room now. The night after we had took Sam to + see Doctor Jackson we was setting in his room, and he was hitting it purty + hard. + </p> + <p> + "Danny," he says to me, after a while, like he was talking out loud to + himself too, "what did you think of Doctor Jackson?" + </p> + <p> + "I don't like him much," I says. + </p> + <p> + "Nor I," he says, frowning, and takes a drink. Then he says, after quite a + few minutes of frowning and thinking, under his breath like: "He's a blame + sight more decent than I am, for all of that." + </p> + <p> + "Why?" I asts him. + </p> + <p> + "Because Doctor Jackson," he says, "hasn't the least idea that he ISN'T + decent, and getting his money in a decent way. While at one time I was—" + </p> + <p> + He breaks off and don't say what he was. I asts him. "I was going to say a + gentleman," he says, "but on reflection, I doubt if I was ever anything + but a cheap imitation. I never heard a man say that he was a gentleman at + one time, that I didn't doubt him. Also," he goes on, working himself into + a better humour again with the sound of his own voice, "if I HAD ever been + a gentleman at any time, enough of it would surely have stuck to me to + keep me out of partnership with a man who cheats niggers." + </p> + <p> + He takes another drink and says even twenty years of running around the + country couldn't of took all the gentleman out of him like this, if he had + ever been one, fur you can break, you can scatter the vase if you will, + but the smell of the roses will stick round it still. + </p> + <p> + I seen now the kind of conversations he is always having with himself when + he gets jest so drunk and is thinking hard. Only this time it happens to + be out loud. + </p> + <p> + "What is a gentleman?" I asts him, thinking if he wasn't one it might take + his mind off himself a little to tell me. "What MAKES one?" + </p> + <p> + "Authorities differ," says Doctor Kirby, slouching down in his chair, and + grinning like he knowed a joke he wasn't going to tell no one. "I heard + Doctor Jackson describe himself that way the other day." + </p> + <p> + Well, speaking personal, I never had smelled none of roses. I wasn't + nothing but trash myself, so being a gentleman didn't bother me one way or + the other. The only reason I didn't want to see them niggers bunked so + very bad was only jest because it was such a low-down, ornery kind of + trick. + </p> + <p> + "It ain't too late," I says, "to pull out of this nigger scheme yet and + get into something more honest." + </p> + <p> + "I don't know," he says thoughtful. "I think perhaps it IS too late." And + he sets there looking like a man that is going over a good many years of + life in his mind. Purty soon he says: + </p> + <p> + "As far as honesty goes—it isn't that so much, O + Daniel-come-to-judgment! It's about as honest as most medicine games. It's—" + He stopped and frowned agin. + </p> + <p> + "What is it?" + </p> + <p> + "It's their being NIGGERS," he says. + </p> + <p> + That made the difference fur me, too. I dunno how, nor why. + </p> + <p> + "I've tried nearly everything but blackmail," he says, "and I'll probably + be trying that by this time next year, if this scheme fails. But there's + something about their being niggers that makes me sick of this thing + already—just as the time has come to make the start. And I don't + know WHY it should, either." He slipped another big slug of whiskey into + him, and purty soon he asts me: + </p> + <p> + "Do you know what's the matter with me?" + </p> + <p> + I asts him what. + </p> + <p> + "I'm too decent to be a crook," he says, "and too crooked to be decent. + You've got to be one thing or the other steady to make it pay." + </p> + <p> + Then he says: + </p> + <p> + "Did you ever hear of the descent to Avernus, Danny?" + </p> + <p> + "I might," I tells him, "and then agin I mightn't, but if I ever did, I + don't remember what she is. What is she?" + </p> + <p> + "It's the chute to the infernal regions," he says. "They say it's greased. + But it isn't. It's really no easier sliding down than it is climbing + back." + </p> + <p> + Well, I seen this nigger scheme of our'n wasn't the only thing that was + troubling Doctor Kirby that night. It was thinking of all the schemes like + it in the years past he had went into, and how he had went into 'em + light-hearted and more'n half fur fun when he was a young man, and now he + wasn't fitten fur nothing else but them kind of schemes, and he knowed it. + He was seeing himself how he had been changing, like another person could + of seen it. That's the main trouble with drinking to fergit yourself. You + fergit the wrong part of yourself. + </p> + <p> + I left him purty soon, and went along to bed. My room was next to his'n, + and they was a door between, so the two could be rented together if + wanted, I suppose. I went to sleep and woke up agin with a start out of a + dream that had in it millions and millions and millions of niggers, every + way you looked, and their mouths was all open red and their eyes walled + white, fit to scare you out of your shoes. + </p> + <p> + I hearn Doctor Kirby moving around in his room. But purty soon he sets + down and begins to talk to himself. Everything else was quiet. I was kind + of worried about him, he had taken so much, and hoped he wouldn't get a + notion to go downtown that time o' night. So I thinks I will see how he is + acting, and steps over to the door between the rooms. + </p> + <p> + The key happened to be on my side, and I unlocked it. But she only opens a + little ways, fur his wash stand was near to the hinge end of the door. + </p> + <p> + I looked through. He is setting by the table, looking at a woman's picture + that is propped up on it, and talking to himself. He has never hearn me + open the door, he is so interested. But somehow, he don't look drunk. He + looks like he had fought his way up out of it, somehow—his forehead + was sweaty, and they was one intoxicated lock of hair sticking to it; but + that was the only un-sober-looking thing about him. I guess his legs would + of been unsteady if he had of tried to walk, but his intellects was + uncomfortable and sober. + </p> + <p> + He is still keeping up that same old argument with himself, or with the + picture. + </p> + <p> + "It isn't any use," I hearn him say, looking at the picture. + </p> + <p> + Then he listened like he hearn it answering him. "Yes, you always say just + that—just that," he says. "And I don't know why I keep on listening + to you." + </p> + <p> + The way he talked, and harkened fur an answer, when they was nothing there + to answer, give me the creeps. + </p> + <p> + "You don't help me," he goes on, "you don't help me at all. You only make + it harder. Yes, this thing is worse than the others. I know that. But I + want money—and fool things like this HAVE sometimes made it. No, I + won't give it up. No, there's no use making any more promises now. I know + myself now. And you ought to know me by this time, too. Why can't you let + me alone altogether? I should think, when you see what I am, you'd let me + be. + </p> + <p> + "God help you! if you'd only stay away it wouldn't be so hard to go to + hell!" + </p> + <p> + <a name="link2HCH0016" id="link2HCH0016"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + CHAPTER XVI + </h2> + <p> + There's a lot of counties in Georgia where the blacks are equal in number + to the whites, and two or three counties where the blacks number over the + whites by two to one. It was fur a little town in one of the latter that + we pinted ourselves, Doctor Kirby and me and Sam—right into the + blackest part of the black belt. + </p> + <p> + That country is full of big-sized plantations, where they raise cotton, + cotton, cotton, and then MORE cotton. Some of 'em raises fruit, too, and + other things, of course; but cotton is the main stand-by, and it looks + like it always will be. + </p> + <p> + Some places there shows that things can't be so awful much changed since + slavery days, and most of the niggers are sure enough country niggers yet. + Some rents their land right out from the owners, and some of 'em crops it + on the shares, and very many of 'em jest works as hands. A lot of 'em + don't do nigh so well now as they did when their bosses was their masters, + they tell me; and then agin, some has done right well on their own hook. + They intrusted me, because I never had been use to looking at so many + niggers. Every way you turn there they is niggers and then more niggers. + </p> + <p> + Them that thinks they is awful easy to handle out of a natcheral respect + fur white folks has got another guess coming. They ain't so bad to get + along with if you keep it most pintedly shoved into their heads they IS + niggers. You got to do that especial in the black belt, jest because they + IS so many of 'em. They is children all their lives, mebby, till some one + minute of craziness may strike one of them, and then he is a devil + temporary. Mebby, when the crazy fit has passed, some white woman is worse + off than if she was dead, or mebby she IS dead, or mebby a loonatic fur + life, and that nigger is a candidate fur a lynching bee and ginerally + elected by an anonymous majority. + </p> + <p> + Not that ALL niggers is that-a-way, nor HALF of 'em, nor very MANY of 'em, + even—but you can never tell WHICH nigger is going to be. So in the + black belt the white folks is mighty pertic'ler who comes along fooling + with their niggers. Fur you can never tell what turn a nigger's thoughts + will take, once anything at all stirs 'em up. + </p> + <p> + We didn't know them things then, Doctor Kirby and me didn't. We didn't + know we was moving light-hearted right into the middle of the biggest + question that has ever been ast. Which I disremember exactly how that + nigger question is worded, but they is always asting it in the South, and + answering of it different ways. We hadn't no idea how suspicious the white + people in them awful black spots on the map can get over any one that + comes along talking to their niggers. We didn't know anything about + niggers much, being both from the North, except what Doctor Kirby had + counted on when he made his medicine, and THAT he knowed second-handed + from other people. We didn't take 'em very serious, nor all the talk we + hearn about 'em down South. + </p> + <p> + But even at that we mightn't of got into any trouble if it hadn't of been + fur old Bishop Warren. But that is getting ahead of the story. + </p> + <p> + We got into that little town—I might jest as well call it + Cottonville—jest about supper time. Cottonville is a little place of + not more'n six hundred people. I guess four hundred of 'em must be + niggers. + </p> + <p> + After supper we got acquainted with purty nigh all the prominent citizens + in town. They was friendly with us, and we was friendly with them. Georgia + had jest went fur prohibition a few months before that, and they hadn't + opened up these here near-beer bar-rooms in the little towns yet, like + they had in Atlanta and the big towns. Georgia had went prohibition so the + niggers couldn't get whiskey, some said; but others said they didn't know + WHAT its excuse was. Them prominent citizens was loafing around the hotel + and every now and then inviting each other very mysterious into a back + room that use to be a pool parlour. They had been several jugs come to + town by express that day. We went back several times ourselves, and soon + began to get along purty well with them prominent citizens. + </p> + <p> + Talking about this and that they finally edges around to the one thing + everybody is sure to get to talking about sooner or later in the South—niggers. + And then they gets to telling us about this here Bishop Warren I has + mentioned. + </p> + <p> + He was a nigger bishop, Bishop Warren was, and had a good deal of white + blood into him, they say. An ashy-coloured nigger, with bumps on his face, + fat as a possum, and as cunning as a fox. He had plenty of brains into his + head, too; but his brains had turned sour in his head the last few years, + and the bishop had crazy streaks running through his sense now, like fat + and lean mixed in a slab of bacon. He used to be friends with a lot of big + white folks, and the whites depended on him at one time to preach + orderliness and obedience and agriculture and being in their place to the + niggers. Fur years they thought he preached that-a-way. He always DID + preach that-a-way when any whites was around, and he set on platforms + sometimes with white preachers, and he got good donations fur schemes of + different kinds. But gradual the suspicion got around that when he was + alone with a lot of niggers his nigger blood would get the best of him, + and what he preached wasn't white supremacy at all, but hopefulness of + being equal. + </p> + <p> + So the whites had fell away from him, and then his graft was gone, and + then his brains turned sour in his head and got to working and fermenting + in it like cider getting hard, and he made a few bad breaks by not being + careful what he said before white people. But the niggers liked him all + the better fur that. + </p> + <p> + They always had been more or less hell in the bishop's heart. He had + brains and he knowed it, and the white folks had let him see THEY knowed + it, too. And he was part white, and his white forefathers had been big men + in their day, and yet, in spite of all of that, he had to herd with + niggers and to pertend he liked it. He was both white and black in his + feelings about things, so some of his feelings counterdicted others, and + one of these here race riots went on all the time in his own insides. But + gradual he got to the place where they was spells he hated both whites and + niggers, but he hated the whites the worst. And now, in the last two or + three years, since his crazy streaks had growed as big as his sensible + streaks, or bigger, they was no telling what he would preach to them + niggers. But whatever he preached most of them would believe. It might be + something crazy and harmless, or it might be crazy and harmful. + </p> + <p> + He had been holding some revival meetings in nigger churches right there + in that very county, and was at it not fur away from there right then. The + idea had got around he was preaching some most unusual foolishness to the + blacks. Fur the niggers was all acting like they knowed something too good + to mention to the white folks, all about there. But some white men had + gone to one of the meetings, and the bishop had preached one of his + old-time sermons whilst they was there, telling the niggers to be orderly + and agriculturous—he was considerable of a fox yet. But he and the + rest of the niggers was so DERNED anxious to be thought agriculturous and + servitudinous that the whites smelt a rat, and wished he would go, fur + they didn't want to chase him without they had to. + </p> + <p> + Jest when we was getting along fine one of them prominent citizens asts + the doctor was we there figgering on buying some land? + </p> + <p> + "No," says the doctor, "we wasn't." + </p> + <p> + They was silence fur quite a little spell. Each prominent citizen had + mebby had his hopes of unloading some. They all looks a little sad, and + then another prominent citizen asts us into the back room agin. + </p> + <p> + When we returns to the front room another prominent citizen makes a little + speech that was quite beautiful to hear, and says mebby we represents some + new concern that ain't never been in them parts and is figgering on buying + cotton. + </p> + <p> + "No," the doctor says, "we ain't cotton buyers." + </p> + <p> + Another prominent citizen has the idea mebby we is figgering on one of + these here inter-Reuben trolley lines, so the Rubes in one village can + ride over and visit the Rubes in the next. And another one thinks mebby we + is figgering on a telephone line. And each one makes a very eloquent + little speech about them things, and rings in something about our fair + Southland. And when both of them misses their guess it is time fur another + visit to the back room. + </p> + <p> + Was we selling something? + </p> + <p> + We was. + </p> + <p> + Was we selling fruit trees? + </p> + <p> + We wasn't. + </p> + <p> + Finally, after every one has a chew of natcheral leaf tobaccer all around, + one prominent citizen makes so bold as to ast us very courteous if he + might enquire what it was we was selling. + </p> + <p> + The doctor says medicine. + </p> + <p> + Then they was a slow grin went around that there crowd of prominent + citizens. And once agin we has to make a trip to that back room. Fur they + are all sure we must be taking orders fur something to beat that there + prohibition game. When they misses that guess they all gets kind of + thoughtful and sad. A couple of 'em don't take no more interest in us, but + goes along home sighing-like, as if it wasn't no difference WHAT we sold + as long as it wasn't what they was looking fur. + </p> + <p> + But purty soon one of them asts: + </p> + <p> + "What KIND of medicine?" + </p> + <p> + The doctor, he tells about it. + </p> + <p> + When he finishes you never seen such a change as had come onto the faces + of that bunch. I never seen such disgusted prominent citizens in my hull + life. They looked at each other embarrassed, like they had been ketched at + something ornery. And they went out one at a time, saying good night to + the hotel-keeper and in the most pinted way taking no notice of us at all. + It certainly was a chill. We sees something is wrong, and we begins to + have a notion of what it is. + </p> + <p> + The hotel-keeper, he spits out his chew, and goes behind his little + counter and takes a five-cent cigar out of his little show case and bites + the end off careful. Then he leans his elbows onto his counter and reads + our names to himself out of the register book, and looks at us, and from + us to the names, and from the names to us, like he is trying to figger out + how he come to let us write 'em there. Then he wants to know where we come + from before we come to Atlanta, where we had registered from. We tells him + we is from the North. He lights his cigar like he didn't think much of + that cigar and sticks it in his mouth and looks at us so long in an + absent-minded kind of way it goes out. + </p> + <p> + Then he says we orter go back North. + </p> + <p> + "Why?" asts the doctor. + </p> + <p> + He chewed his cigar purty nigh up to the middle of it before he answered, + and when he spoke it was a soft kind of a drawl—not mad or loud—but + like they was sorrowful thoughts working in him. + </p> + <p> + "Yo' all done struck the wo'st paht o' the South to peddle yo' niggah + medicine in, sah. I reckon yo' must love 'em a heap to be that concerned + over the colour of their skins." + </p> + <p> + And he turned his back on us and went into the back room all by himself. + </p> + <p> + We seen we was in wrong in that town. The doctor says it will be no use + trying to interduce our stuff there, and we might as well leave there in + the morning and go over to Bairdstown, which was a little place about ten + miles off the railroad, and make our start there. + </p> + <p> + So we got a rig the next morning and drove acrost the country. No one bid + us good-bye, neither, and Doctor Kirby says it's a wonder they rented us + the rig. + </p> + <p> + But before we started that morning we noticed a funny thing. We hadn't so + much as spoke to any nigger, except our own nigger Sam, and he couldn't of + told ALL the niggers in that town about the stuff to turn niggers white, + even if he had set up all night to do it. But every last nigger we saw + looked like he knowed something about us. Even after we left town our + nigger driver hailed two or three niggers in the road that acted + that-away. It seemed like they was all awful polite to us. And yet they + was different in their politeness than they was to them Georgia folks, + which is their natcheral-born bosses—acted more familiar, somehow, + as if they knowed we must be thinking about the same thing they was + thinking about. + </p> + <p> + About half-way to Bairdstown we stopped at a place to get a drink of + water. Seemingly the white folks was away fur the day, and an old nigger + come up and talked to our driver while Sam and us was at the well. + </p> + <p> + I seen them cutting their eyes at us, whilst they was unchecking the + hosses to let them drink too, and then I hearn the one that belonged there + say: + </p> + <p> + "Is yo' SUAH dat hit air dem?" + </p> + <p> + "SUAH!" says the driver. + </p> + <p> + "How-come yo' so all-powerful SUAH about hit?" + </p> + <p> + The driver pertended the harness needed some fixing, and they went around + to the other side of the team and tinkered with one of the traces, + a-talking to each other. I hearn the old nigger say, kind of wonderized: + </p> + <p> + "Is dey a-gwine dar NOW?" + </p> + <p> + Sam, he was pulling a bucket of water up out of the well fur us with a + windlass. The doctor says to him: + </p> + <p> + "Sam, what does all this mean?" + </p> + <p> + Sam, he pertends he don't know what the doctor is talking about. But + Doctor Kirby he finally pins him down. Sam hemmed and hawed considerable, + making up his mind whether he better lie to us or not. Then, all of a + sudden, he busted out into an awful fit of laughing, and like to of fell + in the well. Seemingly he decided fur to tell us the truth. + </p> + <p> + From what Sam says that there bishop has been holding revival meetings in + Big Bethel, which is a nigger church right on the edge of Bairdstown, and + niggers fur miles around has been coming night after night, and some of + them whooping her up daytimes too. And the bishop has worked himself up + the last three or four nights to where he has been perdicting and + prophesying, fur the spirit has hit the meeting hard. + </p> + <p> + What he has been prophesying, Sam says, is the coming of a Messiah fur the + nigger race—a new Elishyah, he says, as will lead them from out'n + their inequality and bring 'em up to white standards right on the spot. + The whites has had their Messiah, the bishop says, but the niggers ain't + never had none of their SPECIAL OWN yet. And they needs one bad, and one + is sure a-coming. + </p> + <p> + It seems the whites don't know yet jest what the bishop's been + a-preaching. But every nigger fur miles on every side of Big Bethel is + a-listening and a-looking fur signs and omens, and has been fur two, three + days now. This here half-crazy bishop has got 'em worked up to where they + is ready to believe anything, or do anything. + </p> + <p> + So the night before when the word got out in Cottonville that we had some + scheme to make the niggers white, the niggers there took up with the idea + that the doctor was mebby the feller the bishop had been prophesying + about, and for a sign and a omen and a miracle of his grace and powers was + going out to Big Bethel to turn 'em white. Poor devils, they didn't see + but what being turned white orter be a part of what they was to get from + the coming of that there Messiah. + </p> + <p> + News spreads among niggers quicker than among whites. No one knows how + they do it. But I've hearn tales about how when war times was there, they + would frequent have the news of a big fight before the white folks' papers + would. Soldiers has told me that in them there Philippine Islands we + conquered from Spain, where they is so much nigger blood mixed up with + other kinds in the islanders, this mysterious spreading around of news is + jest the same. And jest since nine o'clock the night before, the news had + spread fur miles around that Bishop Warren's Messiah was on his way, and + was going fur to turn the bishop white to show his power and grace, and he + had with him one he had turned part white, and that was Sam, and one he + had turned clear white, and that was me. And they was to be signs and + wonders to behold at Big Bethel, with pillars of cloud and sounds of + trumpets and fire squirting down from heaven, like it always use to be in + them old Bible days, and them there niggers to be led singing and shouting + and rejoicing into a land of milk and honey, forevermore, AMEN! + </p> + <p> + That's what Sam says they are looking fur, dozens and scores and hundreds + of them niggers round about. Sam, he had lived in town five or six years, + and he looked down on all these here ignoramus country niggers. So he + busts out laughing at first, and he pertends like he don't take no stock + in any of it. Besides, he knowed well enough he wasn't spotted up by no + Messiah, but it was the dope in the bottles done it. But as he told about + them goings-on Sam got more and more interested and warmed up to it, and + his voice went into a kind of a sing-song like he was prophesying himself. + And the other two niggers quit pertending to fool around the team and + edged a little closeter, and a little closeter yet, with their mouths open + and their heads a-nodding and the whites of their eyes a-rolling. + </p> + <p> + Fur my part, I never hearn such a lot of dern foolishness in all my life. + But the doctor, he says nothing at all. He listens to Sam ranting and + rolling out big words and raving, and only frowns. He climbs back into the + buggy agin silent, and all the rest of the way to Bairdstown he set there + with that scowl on his face. I guesses he was thinking now, the way things + had shaped up, he wouldn't sell none of his stuff at all without he fell + right in with the reception chance had planned fur him. But if he did fall + in with it, and pertend like he was a Messiah to them niggers, he could + get all they had. He was mebby thinking how much ornerier that would make + the hull scheme. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link2HCH0017" id="link2HCH0017"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + CHAPTER XVII + </h2> + <p> + We got to Bairdstown early enough, but we didn't go to work there. We + wasted all that day. They was something working in the doctor's head he + wasn't talking about. I supposed he was getting cold feet on the hull + proposition. Anyhow, he jest set around the little tavern in that place + and done nothing all afternoon. + </p> + <p> + The weather was fine, and we set out in front. We hadn't set there more'n + an hour till I could tell we was being noticed by the blacks, not out open + and above board. But every now and then one or two or three would pass + along down the street, and lazy about and take a look at us. They + pertended they wasn't noticing, but they was. The word had got around, and + they was a feeling in the air I didn't like at all. Too much caged-up + excitement among the niggers. The doctor felt it too, I could see that. + But neither one of us said anything about it to the other. + </p> + <p> + Along toward dusk we takes a walk. They was a good-sized crick at the edge + of that little place, and on it an old-fashioned worter mill. Above the + mill a little piece was a bridge. We crossed it and walked along a road + that follered the crick bank closte fur quite a spell. + </p> + <p> + It wasn't much of a town—something betwixt a village and a + settlement—although they was going to run a branch of the railroad + over to it before very long. It had had a chancet to get a railroad once, + years before that. But it had said then it didn't want no railroad. So + until lately every branch built through that part of the country grinned + very sarcastic and give it the go-by. + </p> + <p> + They was considerable woods standing along the crick, and around a turn in + the road we come onto Sam, all of a sudden, talking with another nigger. + Sam was jest a-laying it off to that nigger, but he kind of hushed as we + come nearer. Down the road quite a little piece was a good-sized wooden + building that never had been painted and looked like it was a big barn. + Without knowing it the doctor and me had been pinting ourselves right + toward Big Bethel. + </p> + <p> + The nigger with Sam he yells out, when he sees us: + </p> + <p> + "Glory be! HYAH dey comes! Hyah dey comes NOW!" + </p> + <p> + And he throwed up his arms, and started on a lope up the road toward the + church, singing out every ten or fifteen yards. A little knot of niggers + come out in front of the church when they hearn him coming. + </p> + <p> + Sam, he stood his ground, and waited fur us to come up to him, kind of + apologetic and sneaking—looking about something or other. + </p> + <p> + "What kind of lies have you been telling these niggers, Sam?" says the + doctor, very sharp and short and mad-like. + </p> + <p> + Sam, he digs a stone out'n the road with the toe of his shoe, and kind of + grins to himself, still looking sheepish. But he says he opinionates he + been telling them nothing at all. + </p> + <p> + "I dunno how-come dey get all dem nigger notions in dey fool haid," Sam + says, "but dey all waitin' dar inside de chu'ch do'—some of de mos' + faiful an' de mos' pra'rful ones o' de Big Bethel cong'gation been dar fo' + de las' houah a-waitin' an' a-watchin', spite o' de fac' dat reg'lah + meetin' ain't gwine ter be called twell arter supper. De bishop, he dar + too. Dey got some dese hyah coal-ile lamps dar des inside de chu'ch do' + an' dey been keepin' on 'em lighted, daytimes an' night times, fo' two + days now, kaze dey say dey ain't gwine fo' ter be cotched napping when de + bridegroom COMeth. Yass, SAH!—dey's ten o' dese hyah vergims dar, + five of 'em sleepin' an' five of 'em watchin', an' a-takin' tuhns at hit, + an' mebby dat how-come free or fouah dey bes' young colo'hed mens been + projickin' aroun' dar all arternoon, a-helpin' dem dat's a-waitin' twell + de bridegroom COM eth!" + </p> + <p> + We seen a little knot of them, down the road there in front of the church, + gathering around the nigger that had been with Sam. They all starts toward + us. But one man steps out in front of them all, and turns toward them and + holds his hands up, and waves them back. They all stops in their tracks. + </p> + <p> + Then he turns his face toward us, and comes slow and sollum down the road + in our direction, walking with a cane, and moving very dignified. He was a + couple of hundred yards away. + </p> + <p> + But as he come closeter we gradually seen him plainer and plainer. He was + a big man, and stout, and dressed very neat in the same kind of rig as + white bishops wear, with one of these white collars that buttons in the + back. I suppose he was coming on to meet us alone, because no one was + fitten fur to give us the first welcome but himself. + </p> + <p> + Well, it was all dern foolishness, and it was hard to believe it could all + happen, and they ain't so many places in this here country it COULD + happen. But fur all of it being foolishness, when he come down the road + toward us so dignified and sollum and slow I ketched myself fur a minute + feeling like we really had been elected to something and was going to take + office soon. And Sam, as the bishop come closeter and closeter, got to + jerking and twitching with the excitement that he had been keeping in—and + yet all the time Sam knowed it was dope and works and not faith that had + made him spotted that-a-way. + </p> + <p> + He stops, the bishop does, about ten yards from us and looks us over. + </p> + <p> + "Ah yo' de gennleman known ter dis hyah sinful genehation by de style an' + de entitlemint o' Docto' Hahtley Kirby?" he asts the doctor very + ceremonious and grand. + </p> + <p> + The doctor give him a look that wasn't very encouraging, but he nodded to + him. + </p> + <p> + "Will yo' dismiss yo' sehvant in ordeh dat we kin hol' convehse an' + communion in de midst er privacy?" + </p> + <p> + The doctor, he nods to Sam, and Sam moseys along toward the church. + </p> + <p> + "Now, then," says the doctor, sudden and sharp, "take off your hat and + tell me what you want." + </p> + <p> + The bishop's hand goes up to his head with a jerk before he thought. Then + it stops there, while him and the doctor looks at each other. The bishop's + mouth opens like he was wondering, but he slowly pulls his hat off and + stands there bare-headed in the road. But he wasn't really humble, that + bishop. + </p> + <p> + "Now," says the doctor, "tell me in as straight talk as you've got what + all this damned foolishness among you niggers means." + </p> + <p> + A queer kind of look passed over the bishop's face. He hadn't expected to + be met jest that way, mebby. Whether he himself had really believed in the + coming of that there new Messiah he had been perdicting, I never could + settle in my mind. Mebby he had been getting ready to pass HIMSELF off fur + one before we come along and the niggers all got the fool idea Doctor + Kirby was it. Before the bishop spoke agin you could see his craziness and + his cunningness both working in his face. But when he did speak he didn't + quit being ceremonious nor dignified. + </p> + <p> + "De wohd has gone fo'th among de faiful an' de puah in heaht," he says, + "dat er man has come accredited wi' signs an' wi' mahvels an' de poweh o' + de sperrit fo' to lay his han' on de sons o' Ham an' ter make 'em des de + same in colluh as de yuther sons of ea'th." + </p> + <p> + "Then that word is a lie," says the doctor. "I DID come here to try out + some stuff to change the colour of negro skins. That's all. And I find + your idiotic followers are all stirred up and waiting for some kind of a + miracle monger. What you have been preaching to them, you know best. Is + that all you want to know?" + </p> + <p> + The bishop hems and haws and fiddles with his stick, and then he says: + </p> + <p> + "Suh, will dish yeah prepa'shun SHO'LY do de wohk?" Doctor Kirby tells him + it will do the work all right. + </p> + <p> + And then the bishop, after beating around the bush some more, comes out + with his idea. Whether he expected there would be any Messiah come or not, + of course he knowed the doctor wasn't him. But he is willing to boost the + doctor's game as long as it boosts HIS game. He wants to be in on the + deal. He wants part of the graft. He wants to get together with the doctor + on a plan before the doctor sees the niggers. And if the doctor don't want + to keep on with the miracle end of it, the bishop shows him how he could + do him good with no miracle attachment. Fur he has an awful holt on them + niggers, and his say-so will sell thousands and thousands of bottles. What + he is looking fur jest now is his little take-out. + </p> + <p> + That was his craftiness and his cunningness working in him. But all of a + sudden one of his crazy streaks come bulging to the surface. It come with + a wild, eager look in his eyes. + </p> + <p> + "Suh," he cries out, all of a sudden, "ef yo' kin make me white, fo' Gawd + sakes, do hit! Do hit! Ef yo' does, I gwine ter bless yo' all yo' days! + </p> + <p> + "Yo' don' know—no one kin guess or comperhen'—what des bein' + white would mean ter me! Lawd! Lawd!" he says, his voice soft-spoken, but + more eager than ever as he went on, and pleading something pitiful to + hear, "des think of all de Caucasian blood in me! Gawd knows de nights er + my youth I'se laid awake twell de dawn come red in de Eas' a-cryin' out + ter Him only fo' ter be white! DES TER BE WHITE! Don' min' dem black, + black niggers dar—don' think er DEM—dey ain't wuth nothin' nor + fitten fo' no fate but what dey got— But me! What's done kep' me + from gwine ter de top but dat one thing: <i>I</i> WASN'T WHITE! Hit air + too late now—too late fo' dem ambitions I done trifle with an' shove + behin' me—hit's too late fo' dat! But ef I was des ter git one li'l + year o' hit—ONE LI'L YEAR O' BEIN' WHITE!—befo' I died—" + </p> + <p> + And he went on like that, shaking and stuttering there in the road, like a + fit had struck him, crazy as a loon. But he got hold of himself enough to + quit talking, in a minute, and his cunning come back to him before he was + through trembling. Then the doctor says slow and even, but not severe: + </p> + <p> + "You go back to your people now, bishop, and tell them they've made a + mistake about me. And if you can, undo the harm you've done with this + Messiah business. As far as this stuff of mine is concerned, there's none + of it for you nor for any other negro. You tell them that. There's none of + it been sold yet—and there never will be." + </p> + <p> + Then we turned away and left him standing there in the road, still with + his hat off and his face working. + </p> + <p> + Walking back toward the little tavern the doctor says: + </p> + <p> + "Danny, this is the end of this game. These people down here and that + half-cracked, half-crooked old bishop have made me see a few things about + the Afro-American brother. It wasn't a good scheme in the first place. And + this wasn't the place to start it going, anyhow—I should have tried + the niggers in the big towns. But I'm out of it now, and I'm glad of it. + What we want to do is to get away from here to-morrow—go back to + Atlanta and fix up a scheme to rob some widows and orphans, or something + half-way respectable like that." + </p> + <p> + Well, I drew a long breath. I was with Doctor Kirby in everything he done, + fur he was my friend, and I didn't intend to quit him. But I was glad we + was out of this, and hadn't sold none of that dope. We both felt better + because we hadn't. All them millions we was going to make—shucks! We + didn't neither one of us give a dern about them getting away from us. All + we wanted was jest to get away from there and not get mixed up with no + nigger problems any more. We eat supper, and we set around a while, and we + went to bed purty middling early, so as to get a good start in the + morning. + </p> + <p> + We got up early, but early as it was the devil had been up earlier in that + neighbourhood. About four o'clock that morning a white woman about a half + a mile from the village had been attacked by a nigger. They was doubt as + to whether she would live, but if she lived they wasn't no doubts she + would always be more or less crazy. Fur besides everything else, he had + beat her insensible. And he had choked her nearly to death. The + country-side was up, with guns and pistols looking fur that nigger. It + wasn't no trouble guessing what would happen to him when they ketched him, + neither. + </p> + <p> + "And," says Doctor Kirby, when we hearn of it, "I hope to high heaven they + DO catch him!" + </p> + <p> + They wasn't much doubt they would, either. They was already beating up the + woods and bushes and gangs was riding up and down the roads, and every + nigger's house fur miles around was being searched and watched. + </p> + <p> + We soon seen we would have trouble getting hosses and a rig in the village + to take us to the railroad. Many of the hosses was being ridden in the + man-hunt. And most of the men who might have done the driving was busy at + that too. The hotel-keeper himself had left his place standing wide open + and went out. We didn't get any breakfast neither. + </p> + <p> + "Danny," says the doctor, "we'll just put enough money to pay the bill in + an envelope on the register here, and strike out on shank's ponies. It's + only nine or ten miles to the railroad—we'll walk." + </p> + <p> + "But how about our stuff?" I asts him. We had two big cases full of sample + bottles of that dope, besides our suit cases. + </p> + <p> + "Hang the dope!" says the doctor, "I don't ever want to see it or hear of + it again! We'll leave it here. Put the things out of your suit case into + mine, and leave that here too. Sam can carry mine. I want to be on the + move." + </p> + <p> + So we left, with Sam carrying the one suit case. It wasn't nine in the + morning yet, and we was starting out purty empty fur a long walk. + </p> + <p> + "Sam," says the doctor, as we was passing that there Big Bethel church—and + it showed up there silent and shabby in the morning, like a old coloured + man that knows a heap more'n he's going to tell—"Sam, were you at + the meeting here last night?" + </p> + <p> + "Yass, suh!" + </p> + <p> + "I suppose it was a pretty tame affair after they found out their Elisha + wasn't coming after all?" + </p> + <p> + Sam, he walled his eyes, and then he kind of chuckled. + </p> + <p> + "Well, suh," he says, "I 'spicions de mos' on 'em don' know dat YIT!" + </p> + <p> + The doctor asts him what he means. + </p> + <p> + It seems the bishop must of done some thinking after we left him in the + road or on his way back to that church. They had all begun to believe that + there Elishyah was on the way to 'em, and the bishop's credit was more or + less wrapped up with our being it. It was true he hadn't started that + belief; but it was believed, and he didn't dare to stop it now. Fur, if he + stopped it, they would all think he had fell down on his prophetics, even + although he hadn't prophesied jest exactly us. He was in a tight place, + that bishop, but I bet you could always depend on him to get out of it + with his flock. So what he told them niggers at the meeting last night was + that he brung 'em a message from Elishyah, Sam says, the Elishyah that was + to come. And the message was that the time was not ripe fur him to reveal + himself as Elishyah unto the eyes of all men, fur they had been too much + sinfulness and wickedness and walking into the ways of evil, right amongst + that very congregation, and disobedience of the bishop, which was their + guide. And he had sent 'em word, Elishyah had, that the bishop was his + trusted servant, and into the keeping of the bishop was give the power to + deal with his people and prepare them fur the great day to come. And the + bishop would give the word of his coming. He was a box, that bishop was, + in spite of his crazy streaks; and he had found a way to make himself + stronger than ever with his bunch out of the very kind of thing that would + have spoiled most people's graft. They had had a big meeting till nearly + morning, and the power had hit 'em strong. Sam told us all about it. + </p> + <p> + But the thing that seemed to interest the doctor, and made him frown, was + the idea that all them niggers round about there still had the idea he was + the feller that had been prophesied to come. All except Sam, mebby. Sam + had spells when he was real sensible, and other spells when he was as bad + as the believingest of them all. + </p> + <p> + It was a fine day, and really joyous to be a-walking. It would of been a + good deal joyouser if we had had some breakfast, but we figgered we would + stop somewheres at noon and lay in a good, square, country meal. + </p> + <p> + That wasn't such a very thick settled country. But everybody seemed to + know about the manhunt that was going on, here, there, and everywhere. + People would come down to the road side as we passed, and gaze after us. + Or mebby ast us if we knowed whether he had been ketched yet. Women and + kids mostly, or old men, but now and then a younger man too. We noticed + they wasn't no niggers to speak of that wasn't busier'n all get out, + working at something or other, that day. + </p> + <p> + They is considerable woods in that country yet, though lots has been cut + off. But they was sometimes right long stretches where they would be woods + on both sides of the road, more or less thick, with underbrush between the + trees. We tramped along, each busy thinking his own thoughts, and having a + purty good time jest doing that without there being no use of talking. I + was thinking that I liked the doctor better fur turning his back on all + this game, jest when he might of made some sort of a deal with the bishop + and really made some money out of it in the end. He never was so good a + business man as he thought he was, Doctor Kirby wasn't. He always could + make himself think he was. But when it come right down to brass tacks he + wasn't. You give him a scheme that would TALK well, the kind of a josh + talk he liked to get off fur his own enjoyment, and he would take up with + it every time instead of one that had more promise of money to it if it + was worked harder. He was thinking of the TALK more'n he was of the money, + mostly; and he was always saying something about art fur art's sake, which + was plumb foolishness, fur he never painted no pictures. Well, he never + got over being more or less of a puzzle to me. But fur some reason or + other this morning he seemed to be in a better humour with himself, after + we had walked a while, than I had seen him in fur a long time. + </p> + <p> + We come to the top of one long hill, which it had made us sweat to climb, + and without saying nothing to each other we both stopped and took off our + hats and wiped our foreheads, and drawed long breaths, content to stand + there fur jest a minute or two and look around us. The road run straight + ahead, and dipped down, and then clumb up another hill about an eighth of + a mile in front of us. It made a little valley. Jest about the middle, + between the two hills, a crick meandered through the bottom land. Woods + growed along the crick, and along both sides of the road we was + travelling. Right nigh the crick they was another road come out of the + woods to the left-hand side, and switched into the road we was travelling, + and used the same bridge to cross the crick by. They was three or four + houses here and there, with chimbleys built up on the outside of them, and + blue smoke coming out. We stood and looked at the sight before us and + forgot all the troubles we had left behind, fur a couple of minutes—it + all looked so peaceful and quiet and homeyfied and nice. + </p> + <p> + "Well," says the doctor, after we had stood there a piece, "I guess we + better be moving on again, Danny." + </p> + <p> + But jest as Sam, who was follering along behind with that suit case, picks + it up and puts it on his head agin, they come a sound, from away off in + the distance somewheres, that made him set it down quick. And we all stops + in our tracks and looks at each other. + </p> + <p> + It was the voice of a hound dog—not so awful loud, but clear and + mellow and tuneful, and carried to us on the wind. And then in a minute it + come agin, sharper and quicker. They yells like that when they have struck + a scent. + </p> + <p> + As we stood and looked at each other they come a crackle in the + underbrush, jest to the left of us. We turned our heads that-a-way, jest + as a nigger man give a leap to the top of a rail fence that separated the + road from the woods. He was going so fast that instead of climbing that + fence and balancing on the top and jumping off he jest simply seemed to + hit the top rail and bounce on over, like he had been throwed out of the + heart of the woods, and he fell sprawling over and over in the road, right + before our feet. + </p> + <p> + He was onto his feet in a second, and fur a minute he stood up straight + and looked at us—an ashes-coloured nigger, ragged and bleeding from + the underbrush, red-eyed, and with slavers trickling from his red lips, + and sobbing and gasping and panting fur breath. Under his brown skin, + where his shirt was torn open acrost his chest, you could see that + nigger's heart a-beating. + </p> + <p> + But as he looked at us they come a sudden change acrost his face—he + must of seen the doctor before, and with a sob he throwed himself on his + knees in the road and clasped his hands and held 'em out toward Doctor + Kirby. + </p> + <p> + "ELISHyah! ELISHyah!" he sings out, rocking of his body in a kind of tune, + "reveal yo'se'f, reveal yo'se'f an' he'p me NOW! Lawd Gawd ELISHyah, + beckon fo' a CHA'iot, yo' cha'iot of FIAH! Lif' me, lif' me—lif' me + away f'um hyah in er cha'iot o' FIAH!" + </p> + <p> + The doctor, he turned his head away, and I knowed the thought working in + him was the thought of that white woman that would always be an idiot for + life, if she lived. But his lips was dumb, and his one hand stretched + itself out toward that nigger in the road and made a wiping motion, like + he was trying fur to wipe the picture of him, and the thought of him, + off'n a slate forevermore. + </p> + <p> + Jest then, nearer and louder and sharper, and with an eager sound, like + they knowed they almost had him now, them hounds' voices come ringing + through the woods, and with them come the mixedup shouts of men. + </p> + <p> + "RUN!" yells Sam, waving of that suit case round his head, fur one nigger + will always try to help another no matter what he's done. "Run fo' de + branch—git yo' foots in de worter an' fling 'em off de scent!" + </p> + <p> + He bounded down the hill, that red-eyed nigger, and left us standing + there. But before he reached the crick the whole man-hunt come busting + through the woods, the dogs a-straining at their straps. The men was all + on foot, with guns and pistols in their hands. They seen the nigger, and + they all let out a yell, and was after him. They ketched him at the crick, + and took him off along that road that turned off to the left. I hearn + later he was a member of Bishop Warren's congregation, so they hung him + right in front of Big Bethel church. + </p> + <p> + We stood there on top of the hill and saw the chase and capture. Doctor + Kirby's face was sweating worse than when we first clumb the hill. He was + thinking about that nigger that had pleaded with him. He was thinking also + of the woman. He was glad it hadn't been up to him personal right then and + there to butt in and stop a lynching. He was glad, fur with them two + pictures in front of him he didn't know what he would of done. + </p> + <p> + "Thank heaven!" I hearn him say to himself. "Thank heaven that it wasn't + REALLY in my power to choose!" + </p> + <p> + <a name="link2HCH0018" id="link2HCH0018"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + CHAPTER XVIII + </h2> + <p> + Well, we had pork and greens fur dinner that day, with the best corn-bread + I ever eat anywheres, and buttermilk, and sweet potato pie. We got 'em at + the house of a feller named Withers—Old Daddy Withers. Which if they + was ever a nicer old man than him, or a nicer old woman than his wife, I + never run acrost 'em yet. + </p> + <p> + They lived all alone, them Witherses, with only a couple of niggers to + help them run their farm. After we eats our dinner and Sam gets his'n out + to the kitchen, we sets out in front of the house and gets to talking with + them, and gets real well acquainted. Which we soon found out the secret of + old Daddy Withers's life—that there innocent-looking old jigger was + a poet. He was kind of proud of it and kind of shamed of it both to oncet. + The way it come out was when the doctor says one of them quotations he is + always getting off, and the old man he looks pleased and says the rest of + the piece it dropped out of straight through. + </p> + <p> + Then they had a great time quoting it at each other, them two, and I seen + the doctor is good to loaf around there the rest of the day, like as not. + Purty soon the old lady begins to get mighty proud-looking over something + or other, and she leans over and whispers to the old man: + </p> + <p> + "Shall I bring it out, Lemuel?" + </p> + <p> + The old man, he shakes his head, no. But she slips into the house anyhow, + and fetches out a little book with a pale green cover to it, and hands it + to the doctor. + </p> + <p> + "Bless my soul," says Doctor Kirby, looking at the old man, "you don't + mean to say you write verse yourself?" + </p> + <p> + The old man, he gets red all over his face, and up into the roots of his + white hair, and down into his white beard, and makes believe he is a + little mad at the old lady fur showing him off that-a-way. + </p> + <p> + "Mother," he says, "yo' shouldn't have done that!" They had had a boy + years before, and he had died, but he always called her mother the same as + if the boy was living. He goes into the house and gets his pipe, and + brings it out and lights it, acting like that book of poetry was a mighty + small matter to him. But he looks at Doctor Kirby out of the corner of his + eyes, and can't keep from getting sort of eager and trembly with his pipe; + and I could see he was really anxious over what the doctor was thinking of + them poems he wrote. The doctor reads some of 'em out loud. + </p> + <p> + Well, it was kind of home-made poetry, Old Daddy Withers's was. It wasn't + like no other poetry I ever struck. And I could tell the doctor was + thinking the same about it. It sounded somehow like it hadn't been jointed + together right. You would keep listening fur it to rhyme, and get all + worked up watching and waiting fur it to, and make bets with yourself + whether it would rhyme or it wouldn't. And then it ginerally wouldn't. I + never hearn such poetry to get a person's expectances all worked up, and + then go back on 'em. But if you could of told what it was all about, you + wouldn't of minded that so much. Not that you can tell what most poetry is + about, but you don't care so long as it keeps hopping along lively. What + you want in poetry to make her sound good, according to my way of + thinking, is to make her jump lively, and then stop with a bang on the + rhymes. But Daddy Withers was so independent-like he would jest + natcherally try to force two words to rhyme whether the Lord made 'em fur + mates or not—like as if you would try to make a couple of kids kiss + and make up by bumping their heads together. They jest simply won't do it. + But Doctor Kirby, he let on like he thought it was fine poetry, and he + read them pieces over and over agin, out loud, and the old man and the old + woman was both mighty tickled with the way he done it. He wouldn't of had + 'em know fur anything he didn't believe it was the finest poetry ever + wrote, Doctor Kirby wouldn't. + </p> + <p> + They was four little books of it altogether. Slim books that looked as if + they hadn't had enough to eat, like a stray cat whose ribs is rubbing + together. It had cost Daddy Withers five hundred dollars apiece to get 'em + published. A feller in Boston charged him that much, he said. It seems he + would go along fur years, raking and scraping of his money together, so as + to get enough ahead to get out another book. Each time he had his hopes + the big newspapers would mebby pay some attention to it, and he would get + recognized. + </p> + <p> + "But they never did," said the old man, kind of sad, "it always fell + flat." + </p> + <p> + "Why, FATHER!"—the old lady begins, and finishes by running back + into the house agin. She is out in a minute with a clipping from a + newspaper and hands it over to Doctor Kirby, as proud as a kid with + copper-toed boots. The doctor reads it all the way through, and then he + hands it back without saying a word. The old lady goes away to fiddle + around about the housework purty soon and the old man looks at the doctor + and says: + </p> + <p> + "Well, you see, don't you?" + </p> + <p> + "Yes," says the doctor, very gentle. + </p> + <p> + "I wouldn't have HER know for the world," says Daddy Withers. "<i>I</i> + know and YOU know that newspaper piece is just simply poking fun at my + poetry, and making a fool of me, the whole way through. As soon as I read + it over careful I saw it wasn't really praise, though there was a minute + or two I thought my recognition had come. But SHE don't know it ain't + serious from start to finish. SHE was all-mighty pleased when that piece + come out in print. And I don't intend she ever shall know it ain't real + praise." + </p> + <p> + His wife was so proud when that piece come out in that New York paper, he + said, she cried over it. She said now she was glad they had been doing + without things fur years and years so they could get them little books + printed, one after the other, fur now fame was coming. But sometimes, + Daddy Withers says, he suspicions she really knows he has been made a fool + of, and is pertending not to see it, fur his sake, the same as he is + pertending fur HER sake. Well, they was a mighty nice old couple, and the + doctor done a heap of pertending fur both their sakes—they wasn't + nothing else to do. + </p> + <p> + "How'd you come to get started at it?" he asts. + </p> + <p> + Daddy Withers says he don't rightly know. Mebby, he says, it was living + there all his life and watching things growing—watching the cotton + grow, and the corn and getting acquainted with birds and animals and trees + and things. Helping of things to grow, he says, is a good way to + understand how God must feel about humans. For what you plant and help to + grow, he says, you are sure to get to caring a heap about. You can't help + it. And that is the reason, he says, God can be depended on to pull the + human race through in the end, even if appearances do look to be agin His + doing it sometimes, fur He started it to growing in the first place and + that-a-way He got interested personal in it. And that is the main idea, he + says, he has all the time been trying to get into that there poetry of + his'n. But he reckons he ain't got her in. Leastways, he says, no one has + never seen her there but the doctor and the old lady and himself. Well, + for my part, I never would of seen it there myself, but when he said it + out plain like that any one could of told what he meant. + </p> + <p> + You hadn't orter lay things up agin folks if the folks can't help 'em. And + I will say Daddy Withers was a fine old boy in spite of his poetry. Which + it never really done any harm, except being expensive to him, and lots + will drink that much up and never figger it an expense, but one of the + necessities of life. We went all over his place with him, and we noticed + around his house a lot of tin cans tacked up to posts and trees. They was + fur the birds to drink out of, and all the birds around there had found + out about it, and about Daddy Withers, and wasn't scared of him at all. He + could get acquainted with animals, too, so that after a long spell + sometimes they would even let him handle them. But not if any one was + around. They was a crow he had made a pet of, used to hop around in front + of him, and try fur to talk to him. If he went to sleep in the front yard + whilst he was reading, that crow had a favourite trick of stealing his + spectacles off'n his nose and flying up to the ridgepole of the house, and + cawing at him. Once he had been setting out a row of tomato plants very + careful, and he got to the end of the row and turned around, and that + there crow had been hopping along behind very sollum, pulling up each + plant as he set it out. It acted like it had done something mighty smart, + and knowed it, that crow. So after that the old man named him Satan, fur + he said it was Satan's trick to keep things from growing. They was some + blue and white pigeons wasn't scared to come and set on his shoulders; but + you could see the old man really liked that crow Satan better'n any of + them. + </p> + <p> + Well, we hung around all afternoon listening to the old man talk, and + liking him better and better. First thing we knowed it was getting along + toward supper time. And nothing would do but we must stay to supper, too. + We was pinted toward a place on the railroad called Smithtown, but when we + found we couldn't get a train from there till ten o'clock that night + anyhow, and it was only three miles away, we said we'd stay. + </p> + <p> + After supper we calculated we'd better move. But the old man wouldn't hear + of us walking that three miles. So about eight o'clock he hitched up a + mule to a one-hoss wagon, and we jogged along. + </p> + <p> + They was a yaller moon sneaking up over the edge of the world when we + started. It was so low down in the sky yet that it threw long shadders on + the road, and they was thick and black ones, too. Because they was a lot + of trees alongside the road, and the road was narrow, we went ahead mostly + through the darkness, with here and there patches of moonlight splashed + onto the ground. Doctor Kirby and Old Man Withers was setting on the seat, + still gassing away about books and things, and I was setting on the suit + case in the wagon box right behind 'em. Sam, he was sometimes in the back + of the wagon. He had been more'n half asleep all afternoon, but now it was + night he was waked up, the way niggers and cats will do, and every once in + a while he would get out behind and cut a few capers in a moonlight patch, + jest fur the enjoyment of it, and then run and ketch up with the wagon and + crawl in agin, fur it was going purty slow. + </p> + <p> + The ground was sandy in spots, and I guess we made a purty good load fur + Beck, the old mule. She stopped, going up a little slope, after we had + went about a mile from the Witherses'. Sam says he'll get out and walk, + fur the wheels was in purty deep, and it was hard going. + </p> + <p> + "Giddap, Beck!" says the old man. + </p> + <p> + But Beck, she won't. She don't stand like she is stuck, neither, but like + she senses danger somewheres about. A hoss might go ahead into danger, but + a mule is more careful of itself and never goes butting in unless it feels + sure they is a way out. + </p> + <p> + "Giddap," says the old man agin. + </p> + <p> + But jest then the shadders on both sides of the road comes to life. They + wakes up, and moves all about us. It was done so sudden and quiet it was + half a minute before I seen it wasn't shadders but about thirty men had + gathered all about us on every side. They had guns. + </p> + <p> + "Who are you? What d'ye want?" asts the old man, startled, as three or + four took care of the mule's head very quick and quiet. + </p> + <p> + "Don't be skeered, Daddy Withers," says a drawly voice out of the dark; + "we ain't goin' to hurt YOU. We got a little matter o' business to tend to + with them two fellers yo' totin' to town." + </p> + <p> + <a name="link2HCH0019" id="link2HCH0019"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + CHAPTER XIX + </h2> + <p> + <i>Thirty</i> men with guns would be considerable of a proposition to buck + against, so we didn't try it. They took us out of the wagon, and they + pinted us down the road, steering us fur a country schoolhouse which was, + I judged from their talk, about a quarter of a mile away. They took us + silent, fur after we found they didn't answer no questions we quit asking + any. We jest walked along, and guessed what we was up against, and why. + Daddy Withers, he trailed along behind. They had tried to send him along + home, but he wouldn't go. So they let him foller and paid no more heed to + him. + </p> + <p> + Sam, he kept a-talking and a-begging, and several men a-telling of him to + shut up. And him not a-doing it. Till finally one feller says very + disgusted-like: + </p> + <p> + "Boys, I'm going to turn this nigger loose." + </p> + <p> + "We'll want his evidence," says another one. + </p> + <p> + "Evidence!" says the first one. "What's the evidence of a scared nigger + worth?" + </p> + <p> + "I reckon that one this afternoon was considerable scared, when he give us + that evidence against himself—that is, if you call it evidence." + </p> + <p> + "A nigger can give evidence against a nigger, and it's all right," says + another voice—which it come from a feller that had a-holt of my + wrist on the left-hand side of me—"but these are white men we are + going to try to-night. The case is too serious to take nigger evidence. + Besides, I reckon we got all the evidence any one could need. This nigger + ain't charged with any crime himself, and my idea is that he ain't to be + allowed to figure one way or the other in this thing." + </p> + <p> + So they turned Sam loose. I never seen nor hearn tell of Sam since then. + They fired a couple of guns into the air as he started down the road, jest + fur fun, and mebby he is running yet. + </p> + <p> + The feller had been talking like he was a lawyer, so I asts him what crime + we was charged with. But he didn't answer me. And jest then we gets in + sight of that schoolhouse. + </p> + <p> + It set on top of a little hill, partially in the moonlight, with a few + sad-looking pine trees scattered around it, and the fence in front broke + down. Even after night you could see it was a shabby-looking little place. + </p> + <p> + Old Daddy Withers tied his mule to the broken down fence. Somebody busted + the front door down. Somebody else lighted matches. The first thing I + knowed, we was all inside, and four or five dirty little coal oil lamps, + with tin reflectors to 'em, which I s'pose was used ordinary fur school + exhibitions, was being lighted. + </p> + <p> + We was waltzed up onto the teacher's platform, Doctor Kirby and me, and + set down in chairs there, with two men to each of us, and then a tall, + rawboned feller stalks up to the teacher's desk, and raps on it with the + butt end of a pistol, and says: + </p> + <p> + "Gentlemen, this meeting will come to order." + </p> + <p> + Which they was orderly enough before that, but they all took off their + hats when he rapped, like in a court room or a church, and most of 'em set + down. + </p> + <p> + They set down in the school kids' seats, or on top of the desks, and their + legs stuck out into the aisles, and they looked uncomfortable and awkward. + But they looked earnest and they looked sollum, too, and they wasn't no + joking nor skylarking going on, nor no kind of rowdyness, neither. These + here men wasn't toughs, by any manner of means, but the most part of 'em + respectable farmers. They had a look of meaning business. + </p> + <p> + "Gentlemen," says the feller who had rapped, "who will you have for your + chairman?" + </p> + <p> + "I reckon you'll do, Will," says another feller to the raw-boned man, + which seemed to satisfy him. But he made 'em vote on it before he took + office. + </p> + <p> + "Now then," says Will, "the accused must have counsel." + </p> + <p> + "Will," says another feller, very hasty, "what's the use of all this fuss + an' feathers? You know as well as I do there's nothing legal about this. + It's only necessary. For my part—" + </p> + <p> + "Buck Hightower," says Will, pounding on the desk, "you will please come + to order." Which Buck done it. + </p> + <p> + "Now," says the chairman, turning toward Doctor Kirby, who had been + setting there looking thoughtful from one man to another, like he was + sizing each one up, "now I must explain to the chief defendant that we + don't intend to lynch him." + </p> + <p> + He stopped a second on that word LYNCH as if to let it soak in. The + doctor, he bowed toward him very cool and ceremonious, and says, mocking + of him: + </p> + <p> + "You reassure me, Mister—Mister—What is your name?" He said it + in a way that would of made a saint mad. + </p> + <p> + "My name ain't any difference," says Will, trying not to show he was + nettled. + </p> + <p> + "You are quite right," says the doctor, looking Will up and down from head + to foot, very slow and insulting, "it's of no consequence in the world." + </p> + <p> + Will, he flushed up, but he makes himself steady and cool, and he goes on + with his little speech: "There is to be no lynching here to-night. There + is to be a trial, and, if necessary, an execution." + </p> + <p> + "Would it be asking too much," says the doctor very polite, "if I were to + inquire who is to be tried, and before what court, and upon what charge?" + </p> + <p> + There was a clearing of throats and a shuffling of feet fur a minute. One + old deaf feller, with a red nose, who had his hand behind his ear and was + leaning forward so as not to miss a breath of what any one said, ast his + neighbour in a loud whisper, "How?" Then an undersized little feller, who + wasn't a farmer by his clothes, got up and moved toward the platform. He + had a bulging-out forehead, and thin lips, and a quick, nervous way about + him: + </p> + <p> + "You are to be tried," he says to the doctor, speaking in a kind of shrill + sing-song that cut your nerves in that room full of bottled-up excitement + like a locust on a hot day. "You are to be tried before this + self-constituted court of Caucasian citizens—Anglo-Saxons, sir, + every man of them, whose forbears were at Runnymede! The charge against + you is stirring up the negroes of this community to the point of revolt. + You are accused, sir, of representing yourself to them as some kind of a + Moses. You are arraigned here for endangering the peace of the county and + the supremacy of the Caucasian race by inspiring in the negroes the hope + of equality." + </p> + <p> + Old Daddy Withers had been setting back by the door. I seen him get up and + slip out. It didn't look to me to be any place fur a gentle old poet. + While that little feller was making that charge you could feel the air + getting tingly, like it does before a rain storm. + </p> + <p> + Some fellers started to clap their hands like at a political rally and to + say, "Go it, Billy!" "That's right, Harden!" Which I found out later Billy + Harden was in the state legislature, and quite a speaker, and knowed it. + Will, the chairman, he pounded down the applause, and then he says to the + doctor, pointing to Billy Harden: + </p> + <p> + "No man shall say of us that we did not give you a fair trial and a square + deal. I'm goin' to appoint this gentleman as your counsel, and I'm goin' + to give you a reasonable time to talk with him in private and prepare your + case. He is the ablest lawyer in southwest Georgia and the brightest son + of Watson County." + </p> + <p> + The doctor looks kind of lazy and Bill Harden, and back agin at Will, the + chairman, and smiles out of the corner of his mouth. Then he says, sort of + taking in the rest of the crowd with his remark, like them two standing + there paying each other compliments wasn't nothing but a joke: + </p> + <p> + "I hope neither of you will take it too much to heart if I'm not impressed + by your sense of justice—or your friend's ability." + </p> + <p> + "Then," said Will, "I take it that you intend to act as your own counsel?" + </p> + <p> + "You may take it," says the doctor, rousing of himself up, "you may take + it—from me—that I refuse to recognize you and your crowd as a + court of any kind; that I know nothing of the silly accusations against + me; that I find no reason at all why I should take the trouble of making a + defence before an armed mob that can only mean one of two things." + </p> + <p> + "One of two things?" says Will. + </p> + <p> + "Yes," says the doctor, very quiet, but raising his voice a little and + looking him hard in the eyes. "You and your gang can mean only one of two + things. Either a bad joke, or else—" + </p> + <p> + And he stopped a second, leaning forward in his chair, with the look of + half raising out of it, so as to bring out the word very decided— + </p> + <p> + "MURDER!" + </p> + <p> + The way he done it left that there word hanging in the room, so you could + almost see it and almost feel it there, like it was a thing that had to be + faced and looked at and took into account. They all felt it that-a-way, + too; fur they wasn't a sound fur a minute. Then Will says: + </p> + <p> + "We don't plan murder, and you'll find this ain't a joke. And since you + refuse to accept counsel—" + </p> + <p> + Jest then Buck Hightower interrupts him by yelling out, "I make a motion + Billy Harden be prosecuting attorney, then. Let's hurry this thing along!" + And several started to applaud, and call fur Billy Harden to prosecute. + But Will, he pounded down the applause agin, and says: + </p> + <p> + "I was about to suggest that Mr. Harden might be prevailed upon to accept + that task." + </p> + <p> + "Yes," says the doctor, very gentle and easy. "Quite so! I fancied myself + that Mr. Harden came along with the idea of making a speech either for or + against." And he grinned at Billy Harden in a way that seemed to make him + wild, though he tried not to show it. Somehow the doctor seemed to be all + keyed up, instead of scared, like a feller that's had jest enough to drink + to give him a fighting edge. + </p> + <p> + "Mr. Chairman," says Billy Harden, flushing up and stuttering jest a + little, "I b-beg leave to d-d-decline." + </p> + <p> + "What," says the doctor, sort of playing with Billy with his eyes and + grin, and turning like to let the whole crowd in on the joke, "DECLINE? + The eminent gentleman declines! And he is going to sit down, too, with all + that speech bottled up in him! O Demosthenes!" he says, "you have lost + your pebble in front of all Greece." + </p> + <p> + Several grinned at Billy Harden as he set down, and three or four laughed + outright. I guess about half of them there knowed him fur a wind bag, and + some wasn't sorry to see him joshed. But I seen what the doctor was trying + to do. He knowed he was in an awful tight place, and he was feeling that + crowd's pulse, so to speak. He had been talking to crowds fur twenty + years, and he knowed the kind of sudden turns they will take, and how to + take advantage of 'em. He was planning and figgering in his mind all the + time jest what side to ketch 'em on, and how to split up the one, solid + crowd-mind into different minds. But the little bit of a laugh he turned + against Billy Harden was only on the surface, like a straw floating on a + whirlpool. These men was here fur business. + </p> + <p> + Buck Hightower jumps up and says: + </p> + <p> + "Will, I'm getting tired of this court foolishness. The question is, Does + this man come into this county and do what he has done and get out again? + We know all about him. He sneaked in here and gave out he was here to turn + the niggers white—that he was some kind of a new-fangled Jesus sent + especially to niggers, which is blasphemy in itself—and he's got 'em + stirred up. They're boilin' and festerin' with notions of equality till + we're lucky if we don't have to lynch a dozen of 'em, like they did in + Atlanta last summer, to get 'em back into their places again. Do we save + ourselves more trouble by stringing him up as a warning to the negroes? Or + do we invite trouble by turning him loose? Which? All it needs is a vote." + </p> + <p> + And he set down agin. You could see he had made a hit with the boys. They + was a kind of a growl rolled around the room. The feelings in that place + was getting stronger and stronger. I was scared, but trying not to show + it. My fingers kept feeling around in my pocket fur something that wasn't + there. But my brain couldn't remember what my fingers was feeling fur. + Then it come on me sudden it was a buckeye I picked up in the woods in + Indiany one day, and I had lost it. I ain't superstitious about buckeyes + or horse-shoes, but remembering I had lost it somehow made me feel worse. + But Doctor Kirby had a good holt on himself; his face was a bit redder'n + usual, and his eyes was sparkling, and he was both eager and watchful. + When Buck Hightower sets down the chairman clears his throat like he is + going to speak. But— + </p> + <p> + "Just a moment," says Doctor Kirby, getting on his feet, and taking a step + toward the chairman. And the way he stopped and stood made everybody look + at him. Then he went on: + </p> + <p> + "Once more," he says, "I call the attention of every man present to the + fact that what the last speaker proposes is—" + </p> + <p> + And then he let 'em have that word agin, full in their faces, to think + about— + </p> + <p> + "MURDER! Merely murder." + </p> + <p> + He was bound they shouldn't get away from that word and what it stood fur. + And every man there DID think, too, fur they was another little pause. And + not one of 'em looked at another one fur a minute. Doctor Kirby leaned + forward from the platform, running his eyes over the crowd, and jest + natcherally shoved that word into the room so hard with his mind that + every mind there had to take it in. + </p> + <p> + But as he held 'em to it they come a bang from one of the windows. It + broke the charm. Fur everybody jumped. I jumped myself. When the end of + the world comes and the earth busts in the middle, it won't sound no + louder than that bang did. It was a wooden shutter. The wind was rising + outside, and it flew open and whacked agin' the building. + </p> + <p> + Then a big, heavy-set man that hadn't spoke before riz up from one of the + hind seats, like he had heard a dare to fight, and walked slowly down + toward the front. He had a red face, which was considerable pock-marked, + and very deep-set eyes, and a deep voice. + </p> + <p> + "Since when," he says, taking up his stand a dozen feet or so in front of + the doctor, "since when has any civilization refused to commit murder when + murder was necessary for its protection?" + </p> + <p> + One of the top glasses of that window was out, and with the shutter open + they come a breeze through that fluttered some strips of dirty-coloured + papers, fly-specked and dusty and spider-webbed, that hung on strings + acrost the room, jest below the ceiling. I guess they had been left over + from some Christmas doings. + </p> + <p> + "My friend," said the pock-marked man to the doctor—and the funny + thing about it was he didn't talk unfriendly when he said it—"the + word you insist on is just a WORD, like any other word." + </p> + <p> + They was a spider rousted out of his web by that disturbance among the + strings and papers. He started down from above on jest one string of web, + seemingly spinning part of it out of himself as he come, the way they do. + I couldn't keep my eyes off'n him. + </p> + <p> + "Murder," says the doctor, "is a thing." + </p> + <p> + "It is a WORD," says the other man, "FOR a thing. For a thing which + sometimes seems necessary. Lynching, war, execution, murder—they are + all words for different ways of wiping out human life. Killing sometimes + seems wrong, and sometimes right. But right or wrong, and with one word or + another tacked to it, it is DONE when a community wants to get rid of + something dangerous to it." + </p> + <p> + That there spider was a squat, ugly-looking devil, hunched up on his + string amongst all his crooked legs. The wind would come in little puffs, + and swing him a little way toward the doctor's head, and then toward the + pock-marked man's head, back and forth and back and forth, between them + two as they spoke. It looked to me like he was listening to what they said + and waiting fur something. + </p> + <p> + "Murder," says the doctor, "is murder—illegal killing—and you + can't make anything else out of it, or talk anything else into it." + </p> + <p> + It come to me all to oncet that that ugly spider was swinging back and + forth like the pendulum on a clock, and marking time. I wondered how much + time they was left in the world. + </p> + <p> + "It would be none the less a murder," said the pock-marked man, "if you + were to be hanged after a trial in some county court. Society had been + obliged to deny the privilege of committing murder to the individual and + reserve it for the community. If our communal sense says you should die, + the thing is neither better nor worse than if a sheriff hanged you." + </p> + <p> + "I am not to be hanged by a sheriff," says the doctor, very cool and + steady, "because I have committed no crime. I am not to be killed by you + because you dare not, in spite of all you say, outrage the law to that + extent." + </p> + <p> + And they looked each other in the eyes so long and hard that every one + else in the schoolhouse held their breath. + </p> + <p> + "DARE not?" says the pock-marked man. And he reached forward slow and took + that spider in his hand, and crushed it there, and wiped his hand along + his pants leg. "Dare not? YES, BUT WE DARE. The only question for us men + here is whether we dare to let you go free." + </p> + <p> + "Your defence of lynching," says Doctor Kirby, "shows that you, at least, + are a man who can think. Tell me what I am accused of?" + </p> + <p> + And then the trial begun in earnest. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link2HCH0020" id="link2HCH0020"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + CHAPTER XX + </h2> + <p> + The doctor acted as his own lawyer, and the pock-marked man, whose name + was Grimes, as the lawyer agin us. You could see that crowd had made up + its mind before-hand, and was only giving us what they called a trial to + satisfy their own conscience. But the fight was betwixt Grimes and Doctor + Kirby the hull way through. + </p> + <p> + One witness was a feller that had been in the hotel at Cottonville the + night we struck that place. We had drunk some of his licker. + </p> + <p> + "This man admitted himself that he was here to turn the niggers white," + said the witness. + </p> + <p> + Doctor Kirby had told 'em what kind of medicine he was selling. We both + remembered it. We both had to admit it. + </p> + <p> + The next witness was the feller that run the tavern at Bairdstown. He had + with him, fur proof, a bottle of the stuff we had brought with us. He told + how we had went away and left it there that very morning. + </p> + <p> + Another witness told of seeing the doctor talking in the road to that + there nigger bishop. Which any one could of seen it easy enough, fur they + wasn't nothing secret about it. We had met him by accident. But you could + see it made agin us. + </p> + <p> + Another witness says he lives not fur from that Big Bethel church. He says + he has noticed the niggers was worked up about something fur several days. + They are keeping the cause of it secret. He went over to Big Bethel church + the night before, he said, and he listened outside one of the windows to + find out what kind of doctrine that crazy bishop was preaching to them. + They was all so worked up, and the power was with 'em so strong, and they + was so excited they wouldn't of hearn an army marching by. He had hearn + the bishop deliver a message to his flock from the Messiah. He had seen + him go wild, afterward, and preach an equality sermon. That was the lying + message the old bishop had took to 'em, and that Sam had told us about. + But how was this feller to know it was a lie? He believed in it, and he + told it in a straight-ahead way that would make any one see he was telling + the truth as he thought it to be. + </p> + <p> + Then they was six other witnesses. All had been in the gang that lynched + the nigger that day. That nigger had confessed his crime before he was + lynched. He had told how the niggers had been expecting of a Messiah fur + several days, and how the doctor was him. He had died a-preaching and + a-prophesying and thinking to the last minute maybe he was going to get + took up in a chariot of fire. + </p> + <p> + Things kept looking worse and worse fur us. They had the story as the + niggers thought it to be. They thought the doctor had deliberately + represented himself as such, instead of which the doctor had refused to be + represented as that there Messiah. More than that, he had never sold a + bottle of that medicine. He had flung the idea of selling it way behind + him jest as soon as he seen what the situation really was in the black + counties. He had even despised himself fur going into it. But the looks of + things was all the other way. + </p> + <p> + Then the doctor give his own testimony. + </p> + <p> + "Gentlemen," he says, "it is true that I came down here to try out that + stuff in the bottle there, and see if a market could be worked up for it. + It is also true that, after I came here and discovered what conditions + were, I decided not to sell the stuff. I didn't sell any. About this + Messiah business I know very little more than you do. The situation was + created, and I blundered into it. I sent the negroes word that I was not + the person they expected. The bishop lied to them. That is my whole + story." + </p> + <p> + But they didn't believe him. Fur it was jest what he would of said if he + had been guilty, as they thought him. And then Grimes gets up and says: + </p> + <p> + "Gentlemen, I demand for this prisoner the penalty of death. + </p> + <p> + "He has lent himself to a situation calculated to disturb in this county + the peaceful domination of the black race by the white. + </p> + <p> + "He is a Northern man. But that is not against him. If this were a case + where leniency were possible, it should count for him, as indicating an + ignorance of the gravity of conditions which confront us here, every day + and all the time. If he were my own brother, I would still demand his + death. + </p> + <p> + "Lest he should think my attitude dictated by any lingering sectional + prejudice, I may tell him what you all know—you people among whom I + have lived for thirty years—that I am a Northern man myself. + </p> + <p> + "The negro who was lynched to-day might never have committed the crime he + did had not the wild, disturbing dream of equality been stirring in his + brain. Every speech, every look, every action which encourages that idea + is a crime. In this county, where the blacks outnumber us, we must either + rule as masters or be submerged. + </p> + <p> + "This man is still believed by the negroes to possess some miraculous + power. He is therefore doubly dangerous. As a sharp warning to them he + must die. His death will do more toward ending the trouble he has prepared + than the death of a dozen negroes. + </p> + <p> + "And as God is my witness, I speak and act not through passion, but from + the dictates of conscience." + </p> + <p> + He meant it, Grimes did. And when he set down they was a hush. And then + Will, the chairman, begun to call the roll. + </p> + <p> + I never been much of a person to have bad dreams or nightmares or things + like that. But ever since that night in that schoolhouse, if I do have a + nightmare, it takes the shape of that roll being called. Every word was + like a spade grating and gritting in damp gravel when a grave is dug. It + sounded so to me. + </p> + <p> + "Samuel Palmour, how do you vote?" that chairman would say. + </p> + <p> + Samuel Palmour, or whoever it was, would hist himself to his feet, and he + would say something like this: + </p> + <p> + "Death." + </p> + <p> + He wouldn't say it joyous. He wouldn't say it mad. He would be pale when + he said it, mebby—and mebby trembling. But he would say it like it + was a duty he had to do, that couldn't be got out of. That there trial had + lasted so long they wasn't hot blood left in nobody jest then—only + cold blood, and determination and duty and principle. + </p> + <p> + "Buck Hightower," says the chairman, "how do you vote?" + </p> + <p> + "Death," says Buck; "death for the man. But say, can't we jest LICK the + kid and turn him loose?" + </p> + <p> + And so it went, up one side the room and down the other. Grimes had showed + 'em all their duty. Not but what they had intended to do it before Grimes + spoke. But he had put it in such a way they seen it was something with + even MORE principle to it than they had thought it was before. + </p> + <p> + "Billy Harden," says the chairman, "how do you vote?" Billy was the last + of the bunch. And most had voted fur death. Billy, he opened his mouth and + he squared himself away to orate some. But jest as he done so, the door + opened and Old Daddy Withers stepped in. He had been gone so long I had + plumb forgot him. Right behind him was a tall, spare feller, with black + eyes and straight iron-gray hair. + </p> + <p> + "I vote," says Billy Harden, beginning of his speech, "I vote for death. + The reason upon which I base—" + </p> + <p> + But Doctor Kirby riz up and interrupted him. + </p> + <p> + "You are going to kill me," he said. He was pale but he was quiet, and he + spoke as calm and steady as he ever done in his life. "You are going to + kill me like the crowd of sneaking cowards that you are. And you ARE such + cowards that you've talked two hours about it, instead of doing it. And + I'll tell you why you've talked so much: because no ONE of you alone would + dare to do it, and every man of you in the end wants to go away thinking + that the other fellow had the biggest share in it. And no ONE of you will + fire the gun or pull the rope—you'll do it ALL TOGETHER, in a crowd, + because each one will want to tell himself he only touched the rope, or + that HIS GUN missed. + </p> + <p> + "I know you, by God!" he shouted, flushing up into a passion—and it + brought blood into their faces, too—"I know you right down to your + roots, better than you know yourselves." + </p> + <p> + He was losing hold of himself, and roaring like a bull and flinging out + taunts that made 'em squirm. If he wanted the thing over quick, he was + taking jest the way to warm 'em up to it. But I don't think he was + figgering on anything then, or had any plan up his sleeve. He had made up + his mind he was going to die, and he was so mad because he couldn't get in + one good lick first that he was nigh crazy. I looked to see him lose all + sense in a minute, and rush amongst them guns and end it in a whirl. + </p> + <p> + But jest as I figgered he was on his tiptoes fur that, and was getting up + my own sand, he throwed a look my way. And something sobered him. He stood + there digging his finger nails into the palms of his hands fur a minute, + to get himself back. And when he spoke he was sort of husky. + </p> + <p> + "That boy there," he says. And then he stops and kind of chokes up. And in + a minute he was begging fur me. He tells 'em I wasn't mixed up in nothing. + He wouldn't of done it fur himself, but he begged fur me. Nobody had paid + much attention to me from the first, except Buck Hightower had put in a + good word fur me. But somehow the doctor had got the crowd listening to + him agin, and they all looked at me. It got next to me. I seen by the way + they was looking, and I felt it in the air, that they was going to let me + off. + </p> + <p> + But Doctor Kirby, he had always been my friend. It made me sore fur to see + him thinking I wasn't with him. So I says: + </p> + <p> + "You better can that line of talk. They don't get you without they get me, + too. You orter know I ain't a quitter. You give me a pain." + </p> + <p> + And the doctor and me stood and looked at each other fur a minute. He + grinned at me, and all of a sudden we was neither one of us much giving a + whoop, fur it had come to us both at oncet what awful good friends we was + with each other. + </p> + <p> + But jest then they come a slow, easy-going sort of a voice from the back + part of the room. That feller that had come in along with Old Daddy + Withers come sauntering down the middle aisle, fumbling in his coat + pocket, and speaking as he come. + </p> + <p> + "I've been hearing a great deal of talk about killing people in the last + few minutes," he says. + </p> + <p> + Everybody rubbered at him. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link2HCH0021" id="link2HCH0021"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + CHAPTER XXI + </h2> + <p> + There was something sort of careless in his voice, like he had jest + dropped in to see a show, and it had come to him sudden that he would + enjoy himself fur a minute or two taking part in it. But he wasn't going + to get TOO worked up about it, either, fur the show might end by making + him tired, after all. + </p> + <p> + As he come down the aisle fumbling in his coat, he stopped and begun to + slap all his pockets. Then his face cleared, and he dived into a vest + pocket. Everybody looked like they thought he was going to pull something + important out of it. But he didn't. All he pulled out was jest one of + these here little ordinary red books of cigarette papers. Then he dived + fur some loose tobacco, and begun to roll one. I noticed his fingers was + long and white and slim and quick. But not excited fingers; only the kind + that seems to say as much as talking says. + </p> + <p> + He licked his cigarette, and then he sauntered ahead, looking up. As he + looked up the light fell full on his face fur the first time. He had high + cheek bones and iron-gray hair which he wore rather long, and very black + eyes. As he lifted his head and looked close at Doctor Kirby, a change + went over both their faces. Doctor Kirby's mouth opened like he was going + to speak. So did the other feller's. One side of his mouth twitched into + something that was too surprised to be a grin, and one of his black + eyebrows lifted itself up at the same time. But neither him nor Doctor + Kirby spoke. + </p> + <p> + He stuck his cigarette into his mouth and turned sideways from Doctor + Kirby, like he hadn't noticed him pertic'ler. And he turns to the + chairman. + </p> + <p> + "Will," he says. And everybody listens. You could see they all knowed him, + and that they all respected him too, by the way they was waiting to hear + what he would say to Will. But they was all impatient and eager, too, and + they wouldn't wait very long, although now they was hushing each other and + leaning forward. + </p> + <p> + "Will," he says, very polite and quiet, "can I trouble you for a match?" + </p> + <p> + And everybody let go their breath. Some with a snort, like they knowed + they was being trifled with, and it made 'em sore. His eyebrows goes up + agin, like it was awful impolite in folks to snort that-away, and he is + surprised to hear it. And Will, he digs fur a match and finds her and + passes her over. He lights his cigarette, and he draws a good inhale, and + he blows the smoke out like it done him a heap of good. He sees something + so interesting in that little cloud of smoke that everybody else looks at + it, too. + </p> + <p> + "Do I understand," he says, "that some one is going to lynch some one, or + something of that sort?" + </p> + <p> + "That's about the size of it, colonel," says Will. + </p> + <p> + "Um!" he says, "What for?" + </p> + <p> + Then everybody starts to talk all at once, half of them jumping to their + feet, and making a perfect hullabaloo of explanations you couldn't get no + sense out of. In the midst of which the colonel takes a chair and sets + down and crosses one leg over the other, swinging the loose foot and + smiling very patient. Which Will remembers he is chairman of that meeting + and pounds fur order. + </p> + <p> + "Thank you, Will," says the colonel, like getting order was a personal + favour to him. Then Billy Harden gets the floor, and squares away fur a + longwinded speech telling why. But Buck Hightower jumps up impatient and + says: + </p> + <p> + "We've been through all that, Billy. That man there has been tried and + found guilty, colonel, and there's only one thing to do—string him + up." + </p> + <p> + "Buck, <i>I</i> wouldn't," says the colonel, very mild. + </p> + <p> + But that there man Grimes gets up very sober and steady and says: + </p> + <p> + "Colonel, you don't understand." And he tells him the hull thing as he + believed it to be—why they has voted the doctor must die, the room + warming up agin as he talks, and the colonel listening very interested. + But you could see by the looks of him that colonel wouldn't never be + interested so much in anything but himself, and his own way of doing + things. In a way he was like a feller that enjoys having one part of + himself stand aside and watch the play-actor game another part of himself + is acting out. + </p> + <p> + "Grimes," he says, when the pock-marked man finishes, "I wouldn't. I + really wouldn't." + </p> + <p> + "Colonel," says Grimes, showing his knowledge that they are all standing + solid behind him, "WE WILL!" + </p> + <p> + "Ah," says the colonel, his eyebrows going up, and his face lighting up + like he is really beginning to enjoy himself and is glad he come, + "indeed!" + </p> + <p> + "Yes," says Grimes, "WE WILL!" + </p> + <p> + "But not," says the colonel, "before we have talked the thing over a bit, + I hope?" + </p> + <p> + "There's been too much talk here now," yells Buck Hightower, "talk, talk, + till, by God, I'm sick of it! Where's that ROPE?" + </p> + <p> + "But, listen to him—listen to the colonel!" some one else sings out. + And then they was another hullabaloo, some yelling "no!" And the colonel, + very patient, rolls himself another smoke and lights it from the butt of + the first one. But finally they quiets down enough so Will can put it to a + vote. Which vote goes fur the colonel to speak. + </p> + <p> + "Boys," he begins very quiet, "I wouldn't lynch this man. In the first + place it will look bad in the newspapers, and—" + </p> + <p> + "The newspapers be d—-d!" says some one. + </p> + <p> + "And in the second place," goes on the colonel, "it would be against the + law, and—" + </p> + <p> + "The law be d——d!" says Buck Hightower. + </p> + <p> + "There's a higher law!" says Grimes. + </p> + <p> + "Against the law," says the colonel, rising up and throwing away his + cigarette, and getting interested. + </p> + <p> + "I know how you feel about all this negro business. And I feel the same + way. We all know that we must be the negros' masters. Grimes there found + that out when he came South, and the idea pleased him so he hasn't been + able to talk about anything else since. Grimes has turned into what the + Northern newspapers think a typical Southerner is. + </p> + <p> + "Boys, this thing of lynching gets to be a habit. There's been a negro + lynched to-day. He's the third in this county in five years. They all + needed killing. If the thing stopped there I wouldn't care so much. But + the habit of illegal killing grows when it gets started. + </p> + <p> + "It's grown on you. You're fixing to lynch your first white man now. If + you do, you'll lynch another easier. You'll lynch one for murder and the + next for stealing hogs and the next because he's unpopular and the next + because he happens to dun you for a debt. And in five years life will be + as cheap in Watson County as it is in a New York slum where they feed + immigrants to the factories. You'll all be toting guns and grudges and + trying to lynch each other. + </p> + <p> + "The place to stop the thing is where it starts. You can't have it both + ways—you've got to stand pat on the law, or else see the law spit on + right and left, in the end, and NOBODY safe. It's either law or—" + </p> + <p> + "But," says Grimes, "there's a higher law than that on the statute books. + There's—" + </p> + <p> + "There's a lot of flub-dub," says the colonel, "about higher laws and + unwritten laws. But we've got high enough law written if we live up to it. + There's—" + </p> + <p> + "Colonel Tom Buckner," says Buck Hightower, "what kind of law was it when + you shot Ed Howard fifteen years ago? What—" + </p> + <p> + "You're out of order," says the chairman, "Colonel Buckner has the floor. + And I'll remind you, Buck Hightower, that, on the occasion you drag in, + Colonel Buckner didn't do any talking about higher laws or unwritten laws. + He sent word to the sheriff to come and get him if he dared." + </p> + <p> + "Boys," says the colonel, "I'm preaching you higher doctrine than I've + lived by, and I've made no claim to be better or more moral than any of + you. I'm not. I'm in the same boat with all of you, and I tell you it's up + to ALL of us to stop lynchings in this county—to set our faces + against it. I tell you—" + </p> + <p> + "Is that all you've got to say to us, colonel?" + </p> + <p> + The question come out of a group that had drawed nearer together whilst + the colonel was talking. They was tired of listening to talk and + arguments, and showed it. + </p> + <p> + The colonel stopped speaking short when they flung that question at him. + His face changed. He turned serious all over. And he let loose jest one + word: + </p> + <p> + "NO!" + </p> + <p> + Not very loud, but with a ring in it that sounded like danger. And he got + 'em waiting agin, and hanging on his words. + </p> + <p> + "No!" he repeats, louder, "not all. I have this to say to you—" + </p> + <p> + And he paused agin, pointing one long white finger at the crowd— + </p> + <p> + "IF YOU LYNCH THIS MAN YOU MUST KILL ME FIRST!" + </p> + <p> + I couldn't get away from thinking, as he stood there making them take that + in, that they was something like a play-actor about him. But he was in + earnest, and he would play it to the end, fur he liked the feelings it + made circulate through his frame. And they saw he was in earnest. + </p> + <p> + "You'll lynch him, will you?" he says, a kind of passion getting into his + voice fur the first time, and his eyes glittering. "You think you will? + Well, you WON'T! + </p> + <p> + "You won't because <i>I</i> say NOT. Do you hear? I came here to-night to + save him. + </p> + <p> + "You might string HIM up and not be called to account for it. But how + about ME?" + </p> + <p> + He took a step forward, and, looking from face to face with a dare in his + eyes, he went on: + </p> + <p> + "Is there a man among you fool enough to think you could kill Tom Buckner + and not pay for it?" + </p> + <p> + He let 'em all think of that for jest another minute before he spoke agin. + His face was as white as a piece of paper, and his nostrils was working, + but everything else about him was quiet. He looked the master of them all + as he stood there, Colonel Tom Buckner did—straight and splendid and + keen. And they felt the danger in him, and they felt jest how fur he would + go, now he was started. + </p> + <p> + "You didn't want to listen to me a bit ago," he said. "Now you must. + Listen and choose. You can't kill that man unless you kill me too. + </p> + <p> + "TRY IT, IF YOU THINK YOU CAN!" + </p> + <p> + He reached over and took from the teacher's desk the sheet of paper Will + had used to check off the name of each man and how he voted. He held it up + in front of him and every man looked at it. + </p> + <p> + "You know me," he says. "You know I do not break my word. And I promise + you that unless you do kill me here tonight—yes, as God is my + witness, I THREATEN you—I will spend every dollar I own and every + atom of influence I possess to bring each one of you to justice for that + man's murder." + </p> + <p> + They knowed, that crowd did, that killing a man like Colonel Buckner—a + leader and a big man in that part of the state—was a different + proposition from killing a stranger like Doctor Kirby. The sense of what + it would mean to kill Colonel Buckner was sinking into 'em, and showing on + their faces. And no one could look at him standing there, with his + determination blazing out of him, and not understand that unless they did + kill him as well as Doctor Kirby he'd do jest what he said. + </p> + <p> + "I told you," he said, not raising his voice, but dropping it, and making + it somehow come creeping nearer to every one by doing that, "I told you + the first white man you lynched would lead to other lynchings. Let me show + you what you're up against to-night. + </p> + <p> + "Kill the man and the boy here, and you must kill me. Kill me, and you + must kill Old Man Withers, too." + </p> + <p> + Every one turned toward the door as he mentioned Old Man Withers. He had + never been very far into the room. + </p> + <p> + "Oh, he's gone," said Colonel Tom, as they turned toward the door, and + then looked at each other. "Gone home. Gone home with the name of every + man present. Don't you see you'd have to kill Old Man Withers too, if you + killed me? And then, HIS WIFE! And then—how many more? + </p> + <p> + "Do you see it widen—that pool of blood? Do you see it spread and + spread?" + </p> + <p> + He looked down at the floor, like he really seen it there. He had 'em + going now. They showed it. + </p> + <p> + "If you shed one drop," he went on, "you must shed more. Can't you see it—widening + and deepening, widening and deepening, till you're wading knee deep in it—till + it climbs to your waists—till it climbs to your throats and chokes + you?" + </p> + <p> + It was a horrible idea, the way he played that there pool of blood and he + shuddered like he felt it climbing up himself. And they felt it. A few men + can't kill a hull, dern county and get away with it. The way he put it + that's what they was up against. + </p> + <p> + "Now," says Colonel Tom, "what man among you wants to start it?" + </p> + <p> + Nobody moved. He waited a minute. Still nobody moved. They all looked at + him. It was awful plain jest where they would have to begin. It was awful + plain jest what it would all end up in. And I guess when they looked at + him standing there, so fine and straight and splendid, it jest seemed + plumb unpossible to make a move. There was a spirit in him that couldn't + be killed. Doctor Kirby said afterward that was what come of being real + "quality," which was what Colonel Tom was—it was that in him that + licked 'em. It was the best part of their own selves, and the best part of + their own country, speaking out of him to them, that done it. Mebby so. + Anyhow, after a minute more of that strain, a feller by the door picks up + his gun out of the corner with a scrape, and hists it to his shoulder and + walks out. And then Colonel Tom says to Will, with his eyebrow going up, + and that one-sided grin coming onto his face agin: + </p> + <p> + "Will, perhaps a motion to adjourn would be in order?" + </p> + <p> + <a name="link2HCH0022" id="link2HCH0022"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + CHAPTER XXII + </h2> + <p> + So many different kinds of feeling had been chasing around inside of me + that I had numb spots in my emotional ornaments and intellectual organs. + The room cleared out of everybody but Doctor Kirby and Colonel Tom and me. + But the sound of the crowd going into the road, and their footsteps dying + away, and then after that their voices quitting, all made but very little + sense to me. I could scarcely realize that the danger was over. + </p> + <p> + I hadn't been paying much attention to Doctor Kirby while the colonel was + making that grandstand play of his'n, and getting away with it. Doctor + Kirby was setting in his chair with his head sort of sunk on his chest. I + guess he was having a hard time himself to realize that all the danger was + past. But mebby it wasn't that—he looked like he might really of + forgot where he was fur a minute, and might be thinking of something that + had happened a long time ago. + </p> + <p> + The colonel was leaning up agin the teacher's desk, smoking and looking at + Doctor Kirby. Doctor Kirby turns around toward the colonel. + </p> + <p> + "You have saved my life," he says, getting up out of his chair, like he + had a notion to step over and thank him fur it, but was somehow not quite + sure how that would be took. + </p> + <p> + The colonel looks at him silent fur a second, and then he says, without + smiling: + </p> + <p> + "Do you flatter yourself it was because I think it worth anything?" + </p> + <p> + The doctor don't answer, and then the colonel says: + </p> + <p> + "Has it occurred to you that I may have saved it because I want it?" + </p> + <p> + "WANT it?" + </p> + <p> + "Do you know of any one who has a better right to TAKE it than I have? + Perhaps I saved it because it BELONGS to me—do you suppose I want + any one else to kill what I have the best right to kill?" + </p> + <p> + "Tom," says Doctor Kirby, really puzzled, to judge from his actions, "I + don't understand what makes you say you have the right to take my life." + </p> + <p> + "Dave, where is my sister buried?" asts Colonel Tom. + </p> + <p> + "Buried?" says Doctor Kirby. "My God, Tom, is she DEAD?" + </p> + <p> + "I ask you," says Colonel Tom. + </p> + <p> + "And I ask you," says Doctor Kirby. + </p> + <p> + And they looked at each other, both wonderized, and trying to understand. + And it busted on me all at oncet who them two men really was. + </p> + <p> + I orter knowed it sooner. When the colonel was first called Colonel Tom + Buckner it struck me I knowed the name, and knowed something about it. But + things which was my own consarns was attracting my attention so hard I + couldn't remember what it was I orter know about that name. Then I seen + him and Doctor Kirby knowed each other when they got that first square + look. That orter of put me on the track, that and a lot of other things + that had happened before. But I didn't piece things together like I orter + done. + </p> + <p> + It wasn't until Colonel Tom Buckner called him "Dave" and ast him about + his sister that I seen who Doctor Kirby must really be. + </p> + <p> + HE WAS THAT THERE DAVID ARMSTRONG! + </p> + <p> + And the brother of the girl he had run off with had jest saved his life. + By the way he was talking, he had saved it simply because he thought he + had the first call on what to do with it. + </p> + <p> + "Where is she?" asts Colonel Tom. + </p> + <p> + "I ask you," says Doctor Kirby—or David Armstrong—agin. + </p> + <p> + Well, I thinks to myself, here is where Daniel puts one acrost the plate. + And I breaks in: + </p> + <p> + "You both got another guess coming," I says. "She ain't buried anywheres. + She ain't even dead. She's living in a little town in Indiany called + Athens—or she was about eighteen months ago." + </p> + <p> + They both looks at me like they thinks I am crazy. + </p> + <p> + "What do you know about it?" says Doctor Kirby. + </p> + <p> + "Are you David Armstrong?" says I. + </p> + <p> + "Yes," says he. + </p> + <p> + "Well," I says, "you spent four or five days within a stone's throw of her + a year ago last summer, and she knowed it was you and hid herself away + from you." + </p> + <p> + Then I tells them about how I first happened to hear of David Armstrong, + and all I had hearn from Martha. And how I had stayed at the Davises in + Tennessee and got some more of the same story from George, the old nigger + there. + </p> + <p> + "But, Danny," says the doctor, "why didn't you tell me all this?" + </p> + <p> + I was jest going to say that not knowing he was that there David Armstrong + I didn't think it any of his business, when Colonel Tom, he says to Doctor + Kirby—I mean to David Armstrong: + </p> + <p> + "Why should you be concerned as to her whereabouts? You ruined her life + and then deserted her." + </p> + <p> + Doctor Kirby—I mean David Armstrong—stands there with the + blood going up his face into his forehead slow and red. + </p> + <p> + "Tom," he says, "you and I seem to be working at cross purposes. Maybe it + would help some if you would tell me just how badly you think I treated + Lucy." + </p> + <p> + "You ruined her life, and then deserted her," says Colonel Tom agin, + looking at him hard. + </p> + <p> + "I DIDN'T desert her," said Doctor Kirby. "She got disgusted and left ME. + Left me without a chance to explain myself. As far as ruining her life is + concerned, I suppose that when I married her—" + </p> + <p> + "Married her!" cries out the colonel. And David Armstrong stares at him + with his mouth open. + </p> + <p> + "My God! Tom," he says, "did you think—?" + </p> + <p> + And they both come to another standstill. And then they talked some more + and only got more mixed up than ever. Fur the doctor thinks she has left + him, and Colonel Tom thinks he has left her. + </p> + <p> + "Tom," says the doctor, "suppose you let me tell my story, and you'll see + why Lucy left me." + </p> + <p> + Him and Colonel Tom had been chums together when they went through + Princeton, it seems—I picked that up from the talk and some of his + story I learned afterward. He had come from Ohio in the beginning, and his + dad had had considerable money. Which he had enjoyed spending of it, and + when he was a young feller never liked to work at nothing else. It suited + him. Colonel Tom, he was considerable like him in that way. So they was + good pals when they was to that school together. They both quit about the + same time. A couple of years after that, when they was both about + twenty-five or six years old, they run acrost each other accidental in New + York one autumn. + </p> + <p> + The doctor, he was there figgering on going to work at something or other, + but they was so many things to do he was finding it hard to make a choice. + His father was dead by that time, and looking fur a job in New York, the + way he had been doing it, was awful expensive, and he was running short of + money. His father had let him spend so much whilst he was alive he was + very disappointed to find out he couldn't keep on forever looking fur work + that-a-way. + </p> + <p> + So Colonel Tom says why not come down home into Tennessee with him fur a + while, and they will both try and figger out what he orter go to work at. + It was the fall of the year, and they was purty good hunting around there + where Colonel Tom lived, and Dave hadn't never been South any, and so he + goes. He figgers he better take a good, long vacation, anyhow. Fur if he + goes to work that winter or the next spring, and ties up with some job + that keeps him in an office, there may be months and months pass by before + he has another chance at a vacation. That is the worst part of a job—I + found that out myself—you never can tell when you are going to get + shut of it, once you are fool enough to start in. + </p> + <p> + In Tennessee he had met Miss Lucy. Which her wedding to Prent McMakin was + billed fur to come off about the first of November, jest a month away. + </p> + <p> + "I don't know whether I ever told you or not," says the doctor, "but I was + engaged to be married myself, Tom, when I went down to your place. That + was what started all the trouble. + </p> + <p> + "You know engagements are like vaccination—sometimes they take, and + sometimes they don't. Of course, I had thought at one time I was in love + with this girl I was engaged to. When I found out I wasn't, I should have + told her so right away. But I didn't. I thought that she would get tired + of me after a while and turn me loose. I gave her plenty of chances to + turn me loose. I wanted her to break the engagement instead of me. But she + wouldn't take the hints. She hung on like an Ohio Grand Army veteran to a + country post-office. About half the time I didn't read her letters, and + about nineteen twentieths of the time I didn't answer them. They say hell + hath no fury like a woman scorned. But it isn't so—it makes them all + the fonder of you. I got into the habit of thinking that while Emma might + be engaged to me, I wasn't engaged to Emma. Not but what Emma was a nice + girl, you know, but— + </p> + <p> + "Well, I met Lucy. We fell in love with each other. It just happened. I + kept intending to write to the other girl and tell her plainly that + everything was off. But I kept postponing it. It seemed like a deuce of a + hard job to tackle. + </p> + <p> + "But, finally, I did write her. That was the very day Lucy promised to + throw Prent McMakin over and marry me. You know how determined all your + people were that Lucy should marry McMakin, Tom. They had brought her up + with the idea that she was going to, and, of course, she was bored with + him for that reason. + </p> + <p> + "We decided the best plan would be to slip away quietly and get married. + We knew it would raise a row. But there was bound to be a row anyhow when + they found she intended to marry me instead of McMakin. So we figured we + might just as well be away from there. + </p> + <p> + "We left your place early on the morning of October 31, 1888—do you + remember the date, Tom? We took the train for Clarksville, Tennessee, and + got there about two o'clock that afternoon. I suppose you have been in + that interesting centre of the tobacco industry. If you have you may + remember that the courthouse of Montgomery County is right across the + street from the best hotel. I got a license and a preacher without any + trouble, and we were married in the hotel parlour that afternoon. One of + the hotel clerks and the county clerk himself were the witnesses. + </p> + <p> + "We went to Cincinnati and from there to Chicago. There we got rooms out + on the South Side—Hyde Park, they called it. And I got me a job. I + had some money left, but not enough to buy kohinoors and race-horses with. + Beside, I really wanted to get to work—wanted it for the first time + in my life. You remember young Clayton in our class? He and some other + enterprising citizens had a building and loan association. Such things are + no doubt immoral, but I went to work for him. + </p> + <p> + "We had been in Chicago a week when Lucy wrote home what she had done, and + begged forgiveness for being so abrupt about it. At least, I suppose that + is what she wrote. It was—" + </p> + <p> + "I remember exactly what she wrote," says Colonel Tom. + </p> + <p> + "I never knew exactly," says the doctor. "The same mail that brought word + from you that your grandfather had had some sort of a stroke, as a + consequence of our elopement, brought also two letters from Emma. They had + been forwarded from New York to Tennessee, and you had forwarded them to + Chicago. + </p> + <p> + "Those letters began the trouble. You see, I hadn't told Emma when I wrote + breaking off the engagement that I was going to get married the next day. + And Emma hadn't received my letter, or else had made up her mind to ignore + it. Anyhow, those letters were regular love-letters. + </p> + <p> + "I hadn't really read one of Emma's letters for months. But somehow I + couldn't help reading these. I had forgotten what a gift for the + expression of sentiment Emma had. She fairly revelled in it, Tom. Those + letters were simply writhing with clinging female adjectives. They + SQUIRMED with affection. + </p> + <p> + "You may remember that Lucy was a rather jealous sort of a person. Right + in the midst of her alarm and grief and self-reproach over her + grandfather, and in the midst of my efforts to comfort her, she spied the + feminine handwriting on those two letters. I had glanced through them + hurriedly, and laid them on the table. + </p> + <p> + "Tom, I was in bad. The dates on them, you know, were so RECENT. I didn't + want Lucy to read them. But I didn't dare to ACT as if I didn't want her + to. So I handed them over. + </p> + <p> + "I suppose—to a bride who had only been married a little more than a + week—and who had hurt her grandfather nearly to death in the + marrying, those letters must have sounded rather odd. I tried to explain. + But all my explanations only seemed to make the case worse for me. Lucy + was furiously jealous. We really had a devil of a row before we were + through with it. I tried to tell her that I loved no one but her. She + pointed out that I must have said much the same sort of thing to Emma. She + said she was almost as sorry for Emma as she was for herself. When Lucy + got through with me, Tom, I looked like thirty cents and felt like + twenty-five of that was plugged. + </p> + <p> + "I didn't have sense enough to know that it was most of it grief over her + grandfather, and nerves and hysteria, and the fact that she was only + eighteen years old and lonely, and that being a bride had a certain amount + to do with it. She had told me that I was a beast, and made me feel like + one; and I took the whole thing hard and believed her. I made a fine, + five-act tragedy out of a jealous fit I might have softened into comedy if + I had had the wit. + </p> + <p> + "I wasn't so very old myself, and I hadn't ever been married before. I + should have kept my mouth shut until it was all over, and then when she + began to cry I should have coaxed her up and made her feel like I was the + only solid thing to hang on to in the whole world. + </p> + <p> + "But the bottom had dropped out of the universe for me. She had said she + hated me. I was fool enough to believe her. I went downtown and began to + drink. I come home late that night. The poor girl had been waiting up for + me—waiting for hours, and becoming more and more frightened when I + didn't show up. She was over her jealous fit, I suppose. If I had come + home in good shape, or in anything like it, we would have made up then and + there. But my condition stopped all that. I wasn't so drunk but that I saw + her face change when she let me in. She was disgusted. + </p> + <p> + "In the morning I was sick and feverish. I was more than disgusted with + myself. I was in despair. If she had hated me before—and she had + said she did—what must she do now? It seemed to me that I had sunk + so far beneath her that it would take years to get back. It didn't seem + worth while making any plea for myself. You see, I was young and had + serious streaks all through me. So when she told me that she had written + home again, and was going back—was going to leave me, I didn't see + that it was only a bluff. I didn't see that she was really only waiting to + forgive me, if I gave her a chance. I started downtown to the building and + loan office, wondering when she would leave, and if there was anything I + could do to make her change her mind. I must repeat again that I was a + fool—that I needed only to speak one word, had I but known it. + </p> + <p> + "If I had gone straight to work, everything might have come around all + right even then. But I didn't. I had that what's-the-use feeling. And I + stopped in at the Palmer House bar to get something to sort of pull me + together. + </p> + <p> + "While I was there, who should come up to the bar and order a drink but + Prent McMakin." + </p> + <p> + "Yes!" says Colonel Tom, as near excited as he ever got. + </p> + <p> + "Yes," says Armstrong, "nobody else. We saw each other in the mirror + behind the bar. I don't know whether you ever noticed it or not, Tom, but + McMakin's eyes had a way of looking almost like cross-eyes when he was + startled or excited. They were a good deal too near together at any time. + He gave me such a look when our eyes met in the mirror that, for an + instant, I thought that he intended to do me some mischief—shoot me, + you know, for taking his bride-to-be away from him, or some fool thing + like that. But as we turned toward each other I saw he had no intention of + that sort." + </p> + <p> + "Hadn't he?" says Colonel Tom, mighty interested. + </p> + <p> + "No," says the doctor, looking at Colonel Tom very puzzled, "did you think + he had?" + </p> + <p> + "Yes, I did," says the colonel, right thoughtful. + </p> + <p> + "On the contrary," says Armstrong, "we had a drink together. And he + congratulated me. Made me quite a little speech, in fact; one of the + flowery kind, you know, Tom, and said that he bore me no rancour, and all + that." + </p> + <p> + "The deuce he did!" says Colonel Tom, very low, like he was talking to + himself. "And then what?" + </p> + <p> + "Then," says the doctor, "then—let me see—it's all a long time + ago, you know, and McMakin's part in the whole thing isn't really + important." + </p> + <p> + "I'm not so sure it isn't important," says the colonel, "but go on." + </p> + <p> + "Then," says Armstrong, "we had another drink together. In fact, a lot of + them. We got awfully friendly. And like a fool I told him of my quarrel + with Lucy." + </p> + <p> + "LIKE a fool," says Colonel Tom, nodding his head. "Go on." + </p> + <p> + "There isn't much more to tell," says the doctor, "except that I made a + worse idiot of myself yet, and left McMakin about two o'clock in the + afternoon, as near as I can recollect. Somewhere about ten o'clock that + night I went home. Lucy was gone. I haven't seen her since." + </p> + <p> + "Dave," says Colonel Tom, "did McMakin happen to mention to you, that day, + just why he was in Chicago?" + </p> + <p> + "I suppose so," says the doctor. "I don't know. Maybe not. That was twenty + years ago. Why?" + </p> + <p> + "Because," says Colonel Tom, very grim and quiet, "because your first + thought as to his intention when he met you in the bar was MY idea also. I + thought he went to Chicago to settle with you. You see, I got to Chicago + that same afternoon." + </p> + <p> + "The same day?" + </p> + <p> + "Yes. We were to have come together. But I missed the train, and he got + there a day ahead of me. He was waiting at the hotel for me to join him, + and then we were going to look you up together. He found you first and I + never did find you." + </p> + <p> + "But I don't exactly understand," says the doctor. "You say he had the + idea of shooting me." + </p> + <p> + "I don't understand everything myself," says Colonel Tom. "But I do + understand that Prent McMakin must have played some sort of a two-faced + game. He never said a word to me about having seen you. + </p> + <p> + "Listen," he goes on. "When you and Lucy ran away it nearly killed our + grandfather. In fact, it finally did kill him. When we got Lucy's letter + that told you were in Chicago I went up to bring her back home. We didn't + know what we were going to do, McMakin and I, but we were both agreed that + you needed killing. And he swore that he would marry Lucy anyhow, even—" + </p> + <p> + "MARRY HER!" sings out the doctor, "but we WERE married." + </p> + <p> + "Dave," Colonel Tom says very slow and steady, "you keep SAYING you were + married. But it's strange—it's right STRANGE about that marriage." + </p> + <p> + And he looked at the doctor hard and close, like he would drag the truth + out of him, and the doctor met his look free and open. You would of + thought Colonel Tom was saying with his look: "You MUST tell me the + truth." And the doctor with his was answering: "I HAVE told you the + truth." + </p> + <p> + "But, Tom," says the doctor, "that letter she wrote you from Chicago must—" + </p> + <p> + "Do you know what Lucy wrote?" interrupts Colonel Tom. "I remember + exactly. It was simply: 'FORGIVE ME. I LOVED HIM SO. I AM HAPPY. I KNOW IT + IS WRONG, BUT I LOVE HIM SO YOU MUST FORGIVE ME.'" + </p> + <p> + "But couldn't you tell from THAT we were married?" cries out the doctor. + </p> + <p> + "She didn't mention it," says Colonel Tom. + </p> + <p> + "She supposed that her own family had enough faith in her to take it for + granted," says the doctor, very scornful, his face getting red. + </p> + <p> + "But wait, Dave," says Colonel Tom, quiet and cool. "Don't bluster with + me. There are still a lot of things to be explained. And that marriage is + one of them. + </p> + <p> + "To go back a bit. You say you got to the house somewhere around ten + o'clock that evening and found Lucy gone. Do you remember the day of the + month?" + </p> + <p> + "It was November 14, 1888." + </p> + <p> + "Exactly," says Colonel Tom. "I got to Chicago at six o'clock of that very + day. And I went at once to the address in Lucy's letter. I got there + between seven and eight o'clock. She was gone. My thought was that you + must have got wind of my coming and persuaded her to leave with you in + order to avoid me—although I didn't see how you could know when I + would get there, either, when I thought it over." + </p> + <p> + "And you have never seen her since," says Armstrong, pondering. + </p> + <p> + "I HAVE seen her since," says Colonel Tom, "and that is one thing that + makes me say your story needs further explanation." + </p> + <p> + "But where—when—did you see her?" asts the doctor, mighty + excited. + </p> + <p> + "I am coming to that. I went back home again. And in July of the next year + I heard from her." + </p> + <p> + "Heard from her?" + </p> + <p> + "By letter. She was in Galesburg, Illinois, if you know where that is. She + was living there alone. And she was almost destitute. I wrote her to come + home. She would not. But she had to live. I got rid of some of our + property in Tennessee, and took enough cash up there with me to fix her, + in a decent sort of way, for the rest of her life, and put it in the bank. + I was with her there for ten days; then I went back home to get Aunt Lucy + Davis to help me in another effort to persuade her to return. But when I + got back North with Aunt Lucy she had gone." + </p> + <p> + "Gone?" + </p> + <p> + "Yes, and when we returned without her to Tennessee there was a letter + telling us not to try to find her. We thought—I thought—that + she might have taken up with you once again." + </p> + <p> + "But, my God! Tom," the doctor busts out, "you were with her ten days + there in Galesburg! Didn't she tell you then—couldn't you tell from + the way she acted—that she had married me?" + </p> + <p> + "That's the odd thing, Dave," says the colonel, very slow and thoughtful. + "That's what is so very strange about it all. I merely assumed by my + attitude that you were not married, and she let me assume it without a + protest." + </p> + <p> + "But did you ask her?" + </p> + <p> + "Ask her? No. Can't you see that there was no reason why I should ask her? + I was sure. And being sure of it, naturally I didn't talk about it to her. + You can understand that I wouldn't, can't you? In fact, I never mentioned + you to her. She never mentioned you to me." + </p> + <p> + "You must have mistaken her, Tom." + </p> + <p> + "I don't think it's possible, Dave," said the colonel. "You can mistake + words and explanations a good deal easier than you can mistake an + atmosphere. No, Dave, I tell you that there's something odd about it—married + or not, Lucy didn't BELIEVE herself married the last time I saw her." + </p> + <p> + "But she MUST have known," says the doctor, as much to himself as to the + colonel. "She MUST have known." Any one could of told by the way he said + it that he wasn't lying. I could see that Colonel Tom believed in him, + too. They was both sicking their intellects onto the job of figgering out + how it was Lucy didn't know. Finally the doctor says very thoughtful: + </p> + <p> + "Whatever became of Prentiss McMakin, Tom?" + </p> + <p> + "Dead," says Colonel Tom, "quite a while ago." + </p> + <p> + "H-m," says the doctor, still thinking hard. And then looks at Colonel Tom + like they was an idea in his head. Which he don't speak her out. But + Colonel Tom seems to understand. + </p> + <p> + "Yes," he says, nodding his head. "I think you are on the right track now. + Yes—I shouldn't wonder." + </p> + <p> + Well, they puts this and that together, and they agrees that whatever + happened to make things hard to explain must of happened on that day that + Prentiss McMakin met the doctor in the bar-room, and didn't shoot him, as + he had made his brags he would. Must of happened between the time that + afternoon when Prentiss McMakin left the doctor and the time Colonel Tom + went out to see his sister and found she had went. Must of happened + somehow through Prent McMakin. + </p> + <p> + We goes home with Colonel Tom that night. And the next day all three of us + is on our way to Athens, Indiany, where I had seen Miss Lucy at. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link2HCH0023" id="link2HCH0023"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + CHAPTER XXIII + </h2> + <p> + Fur my part, as the train kept getting further and further north, my + feelings kept getting more and more mixed. It come to me that I might be + steering straight fur a bunch of trouble. The feeling that sadness and + melancholy and seriousness was laying ahead of me kept me from really + enjoying them dollar-apiece meals on the train. It was Martha that done + it. All this past and gone love story I had been hearing about reminded me + of Martha. And I was steering straight toward her, and no way out of it. + How did I know but what that there girl might be expecting fur to marry + me, or something like that? Not but what I was awful in love with her + whilst we was together. But it hadn't really set in on me very deep. I + hadn't forgot about her right away. But purty soon I had got to forgetting + her oftener than I remembered her. And now it wasn't no use talking—I + jest wasn't in love with Martha no more, and didn't have no ambition to + be. I had went around the country a good bit, and got intrusted in other + things, and saw several other girls I liked purty well. Keeping steady in + love with jest one girl is mighty hard if you are moving around a good + bit. + </p> + <p> + But I was considerable worried about Martha. She was an awful romanceful + kind of girl. And even the most sensible kind is said to be fools about + getting their hearts broke and pining away and dying over a feller. I + would hate to think Martha had pined herself sick. + </p> + <p> + I couldn't shut my eyes to the fact we was engaged to each other legal, + all right. And if she wanted to act mean about it and take it to a court + it would likely be binding on me. Then I says to myself is she is mean + enough to do that I'll be derned if I don't go to jail before I marry her, + and stay there. + </p> + <p> + And then my conscience got to working inside of me agin. And a picture of + her getting thin and not eating her vittles regular and waiting and + waiting fur me to show up, and me never doing it, come to me. And I felt + sorry fur poor Martha, and thought mebby I would marry her jest to keep + her from dying. Fur you would feel purty tough if a girl was to get so + stuck on you it killed her. Not that I ever seen that really happen, + either; but first and last there has been considerable talk about it. + </p> + <p> + It wasn't but what I liked Martha well enough. It was the idea of getting + married, and staying married, made me feel so anxious. Being married may + work out all right fur some folks. But I knowed it never would work any + with me. Or not fur long. Because why should I want to be tied down to one + place, or have a steady job? That would be a mean way to live. + </p> + <p> + Of course, with a person that was the doctor's age it would be different. + He had done his running around and would be willing to settle down now, I + guessed. That is, if he could get his differences with this here Buckner + family patched up satisfactory. I wondered whether he would be able to or + not. Him and Colonel Tom were talking constant on the train all the way + up. From the little stretches of their talk I couldn't help hearing, I + guessed each one was telling the other all that had happened to him in the + time that had passed by. Colonel Tom what kind of a life he had lived, and + how he had married and his wife had died and left him a widower without + any kids. And the doctor—it was always hard fur me to get to calling + him anything but Doctor Kirby—how he had happened to start out with + a good chancet in life and turn into jest a travelling fakir. + </p> + <p> + Well, I thinks to myself now that he has got to be that, mebby her and him + won't suit so well now, even if they does get their differences patched + up. Fur all the forgiving in the world ain't going to change things, or + make them no different. But, so long as the doctor appeared to want to + find her so derned bad, I was awful glad I had been the means of getting + him and Miss Lucy together. He had done a lot fur me, first and last, the + doctor had, and I felt like it helped pay him a little. Though if they was + to settle down like married folks I would feel like a good old sport was + spoiled in the doctor, too. + </p> + <p> + We had to change cars at Indianapolis to get to that there little town. We + was due to reach it about two o'clock in the afternoon. And the nearer we + got to the place the nervouser and nervouser all three of us become. And + not owning we was. The last hour before we hit the place, I took a drink + of water every three minutes, I was so nervous. And when we come into the + town I was already standing out onto the platform. I wouldn't of been + surprised to find Martha and Miss Lucy down there to the station. But, of + course, they wasn't. Fur some reason I felt glad they wasn't. + </p> + <p> + "Now," I says to them two, as we got off the train, "foller me and I will + show you the house." + </p> + <p> + Everybody rubbers at strangers in a country town, and wonders why they + have come, and what they is selling, and if they are mebby going to start + a new grain elevator, or buy land, or what. The usual ones around the + depot rubbered at us, and I hearn one geezer say to another: + </p> + <p> + "See that big feller there? He was through here a year or two ago selling + patent medicine." + </p> + <p> + "You don't say so!" says the other one, like it was something important, + like a president or a circus had come, and his eyes a-bugging out. And the + doctor hearn them, too. Fur some reason or other he flushed up and cut a + look out of the corner of his eye at Colonel Tom. + </p> + <p> + We went right through the main street and out toward the edge of town, by + the crick, where Miss Lucy's house was. And, if anything, all of us + feeling nervouser yet. And saying nothing and not looking at each other. + And Colonel Tom rolling cigarettes and fumbling fur matches and lighting + them and slinging them away. Fur how does anybody know how women is going + to take even the most ordinary little things? + </p> + <p> + I knowed the way well enough, and where the house was, but as we went + around the turn in the road I run acrost a surprised feeling. I come onto + the place where our campfire had been them nights we was there. Looey had + drug an old fence post onto the fire one night, and the post had only + burned half up. The butt end of it, all charred and flaked, was still + laying in the grass and weeds there. It hit me with a queer feeling—like + it was only yesterday that fire had been lit there. And yet I knowed it + had been a year and a half ago. + </p> + <p> + Well, it has always been my luck to run into things without the right kind + of a lie fixed up ahead of time. They was three or four purty good stories + I had been trying over in my head to tell Martha when I seen her. Any one + of them stories might of done all right; but I hadn't decided WHICH one to + use. And, of course, I run plumb into Martha. She was standing by the + gate, which was about twenty yards from the veranda. And all four lies + popped into my head at oncet, and got so mixed up with one another there, + I seen right off it was useless to try to tell anything that sounded + straight. Besides, when you are in the fix I was in, what can you tell a + girl anyhow? + </p> + <p> + So I jest says to her: + </p> + <p> + "Hullo!" + </p> + <p> + Martha, she had been fussing around some flower bushes with a pair of + shears and gloves on. She looks up when I says that, and she sizes us all + up standing by the gate, and her eyes pops open, and so does her mouth, + and she is so surprised to see me she drops her shears. + </p> + <p> + And she looks scared, too. + </p> + <p> + "Is Miss Buckner at home?" asts Colonel Tom, lifting his hat very polite. + </p> + <p> + "Miss B-B-Buckner?" Martha stutters, very scared-like, and not taking her + eyes off of me to answer him. + </p> + <p> + "Miss Hampton, Martha," I says. + </p> + <p> + "Y-y-y-es, s-sh-she is," says Martha. I wondered what was the matter with + her. + </p> + <p> + It is always my luck to get left all alone with my troubles. The doctor + and the colonel, they walked right past us when she said yes, and up + toward the house, and left her and me standing there. I could of went + along and butted in, mebby. But I says to myself I will have the derned + thing out here and now, and know the worst. And I was so interested in my + trouble and Martha that I didn't even notice if Miss Lucy met 'em at the + door, and if so, how she acted. When I next looked up they was all in the + house. + </p> + <p> + "Martha—" I begins. But she breaks in. + </p> + <p> + "Danny," she says, looking like she is going to cry, "don't l-l-look at me + l-l-like that. If you knew ALL you wouldn't blame me. You—" + </p> + <p> + "Wouldn't blame you fur what?" I asts her. + </p> + <p> + "I know it's wrong of me," she says, begging-like. + </p> + <p> + "Mebby it is and mebby it ain't," I says. "But what is it?" + </p> + <p> + "But you never wrote to me," she says. + </p> + <p> + "You never wrote to me," I says, not wanting her to get the best of me, + whatever it was she might be talking about. + </p> + <p> + "And then HE came to town!—" + </p> + <p> + "Who?" I asts her. + </p> + <p> + "Don't you know?" she says. "The man I am going to marry." + </p> + <p> + When she said that I felt, all of a sudden, like when you are broke and + hungry and run acrost a half dollar you had forgot about in your other + pants. I was so glad I jumped. + </p> + <p> + "Great guns!" I says. + </p> + <p> + I had never really knowed what being glad was before. + </p> + <p> + "Oh, Danny, Danny," she says, putting her hands in front of her face, "and + here you have come to claim me for your bride!" + </p> + <p> + Which showed me why she had looked so scared. That there girl had went and + got engaged to another feller. And had been laying awake nights suffering + fur fear I would turn up agin. And now I had. Looey, he always said never + to trust a woman! + </p> + <p> + "Martha," I says, "you ain't acted right with me." + </p> + <p> + "Oh, Danny, Danny," she says, "I know it! I know it!" + </p> + <p> + "Some fellers in my place," I says, "would raise a dickens of a row." + </p> + <p> + "I DID love you once," she says, looking at me from between her fingers. + </p> + <p> + "Yes," says I, acting real melancholy, "you did. And now you've quit it, + they don't seem to me to be nothing left to live fur." Martha, she was an + awful romanceful girl. I got the notion that mebby she was enjoying her + own remorsefulness a little bit. I fetched a deep sigh and I says: + </p> + <p> + "Some fellers would kill theirselves on the spot!" + </p> + <p> + "Oh!—Oh!—Oh!—" says Martha. + </p> + <p> + "But, Martha," says I, "I ain't that mean. I ain't going to do that." + </p> + <p> + That dern girl ackshellay give me a disappointed look! If anything, she + was jest a bit TOO romanceful, Martha was. + </p> + <p> + "No," says I, cheering up a little, "I am going to do something they ain't + many fellers would do, Martha. I'm going to forgive you. Free and fair and + open. And give you back my half of that ring, and—" + </p> + <p> + Dern it! I had forgot I had lost that half of that there ring! I + remembered so quick it stopped me. + </p> + <p> + "You always kept it, Danny?" she asts me, very soft-spoken, so as not to + give pain to one so faithful and so noble as what I was. "Let me see it, + Danny." + </p> + <p> + I made like I was feeling through all my pockets fur it. But that couldn't + last forever. I run out of pockets purty soon. And her face begun to show + she was smelling a rat. Finally I says: + </p> + <p> + "These ain't my other clothes—it must be in them." + </p> + <p> + "Danny," she says, "I believe you LOST it." + </p> + <p> + "Martha," I says, taking a chancet, "you know you lost YOUR half!" + </p> + <p> + She owns up she has lost it a long while ago. And when she lost it, she + says, she knowed that was fate and that our love was omened in under an + evil star. And who was she, she says, to struggle agin fate? + </p> + <p> + "Martha," I says, "I'll be honest with you. Fate got away with my half too + one day when I didn't know they was crooks like her sticking around." + </p> + <p> + Well, I seen that girl seen through me then. Martha was awful smart + sometimes. And each one was so derned tickled the other one wasn't going + to do any pining away we like to of fell into love all over agin. But not + quite. Fur neither one would ever trust the other one agin. So we felt + more comfortable with each other. You ain't never comfortable with a + person you know is more honest than you be. + </p> + <p> + "But," says Martha, after a minute, "if you didn't come back to make me + marry you, what does Doctor Kirby want to see Miss Hampton about? And who + was that with him?" + </p> + <p> + I had been nigh to forgetting the main thing we had all come here fur, in + my gladness at getting rid of any danger of marrying Martha. But it come + to me all to oncet I had been missing a lot that must be taking place + inside that house. I had even missed the way they first looked when she + met 'em at the door, and I wouldn't of missed that fur a lot. And I seen + all to oncet what a big piece of news it will be to Martha. + </p> + <p> + "Martha," I says, "they ain't no Dr. Hartley L. Kirby. The man known as + such is David Armstrong!" + </p> + <p> + I never seen any one so peetrified as Martha was fur a minute. + </p> + <p> + "Yes," says I, "and the other one is Miss Lucy's brother. And they are all + three in there straightening themselves out and finding where everybody + gets off at, and why. One of these here serious times you read about. And + you and me are missing it all, like a couple of gumps. How can we hear?" + </p> + <p> + Martha says she don't know. + </p> + <p> + "You THINK," I told her. "We've wasted five good minutes already. I've GOT + to hear the rest of it. Where would they be?" + </p> + <p> + Martha guesses they will all be in the sitting room, which has got the + best chairs in it. + </p> + <p> + "What is next to it? A back parlour, or a bedroom, or what?" I was + thinking of how I happened to overhear Perfessor Booth and his fambly + that-a-way. + </p> + <p> + Martha says they is nothing like that to be tried. + </p> + <p> + "Martha," I says, "this is serious. This here story they are thrashing out + in there is the only derned sure-enough romanceful story either you or me + is ever lible to run up against personal in all our lives. It would of + been a good deal nicer if they had ast us in to see the wind-up of it. + Fur, if it hadn't of been fur me, they never would of been reunited and + rejuvenated the way they be. But some people get stingy streaks with their + concerns. You think!" + </p> + <p> + Martha, she says: "Danny, it wouldn't be honourable to listen." + </p> + <p> + "Martha," I tells her, "after the way you and me went and jilted each + other, what kind of senses of honour have WE got to brag about?" + </p> + <p> + She remembers that the spare bedroom is right over the sitting room. The + house is heated with stoves in the winter time. There is a register right + through the floor of the spare bedroom and the ceiling of the sitting + room. Not the kind of a register that comes from a twisted-around shaft in + a house that uses furnace heat. But jest really a hole in the floor, with + a cast-iron grating, to let the heat from the room below into the one + above. She says she guesses two people that wasn't so very honourable + might sneak into the house the back way, and up the back stairs, and into + the spare bedroom, and lay down on their stummicks on the floor, being + careful to make no noise, and both see and hear through that register. + Which we done it. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link2HCH0024" id="link2HCH0024"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + CHAPTER XXIV + </h2> + <p> + I could hear well enough, but at first I couldn't see any of them. But I + gathered that Miss Lucy was standing up whilst she was talking, and moving + around a bit now and then. I seen one of her sleeves, and then a wisp of + her hair. Which was aggervating, fur I wanted to know what she was like. + But her voice was so soft and quiet that you kind of knowed before you + seen her how she orter look. + </p> + <p> + "Prentiss McMakin came to me that day," she was saying, "with an appeal—I + hardly know how to tell you." She broke off. + </p> + <p> + "Go ahead, Lucy," says Colonel Tom's voice. + </p> + <p> + "He was insulting," she said. "He had been drinking. He wanted me to—to—he + appealed to me to run off with him. + </p> + <p> + "I was furious—NATURALLY." Her voice changed as she said it enough + so you could feel how furious Miss Lucy could get. She was like her + brother Tom in some ways. + </p> + <p> + "I ordered him out of the house. His answer to that was an offer to marry + me. You can imagine that I was surprised as well as angry—I was + perplexed. + </p> + <p> + "'But I AM married!' I cried. The idea that any of my own people, or any + one whom I had known at home, would think I wasn't married was too much + for me to take in all at once. + </p> + <p> + "'You THINK you are,' said Prentiss McMakin, with a smile. + </p> + <p> + "In spite of myself my breath stopped. It was as if a chilly hand had + taken hold of my heart. I mean, physically, I felt like that. + </p> + <p> + "'I AM married,' I repeated, simply. + </p> + <p> + "I suppose that McMakin had got the story of our wedding from YOU." She + stopped a minute. The doctor's voice answered: + </p> + <p> + "I suppose so," like he was a very tired man. + </p> + <p> + "Anyhow," she went on, "he knew that we went first to Clarksville. He + said: + </p> + <p> + "'You think you are married, Lucy, but you are not.' + </p> + <p> + "I wish you to understand that Prentiss McMakin did it all very, very + well. That is my excuse. He acted well. There was something about him—I + scarcely know how to put it. It sounds odd, but the truth is that Prentiss + McMakin was always a more convincing sort of a person when he had been + drinking a little than when he was sober. He lacked warmth—he lacked + temperament. I suppose just the right amount put it into him. It put the + devil into him, too, I reckon. + </p> + <p> + "He told me that you and he, Tom, had been to Clarksville, and had made + investigations, and that the wedding was a fraud. And he told it with a + wealth of convincing detail. In the midst of it he broke off to ask to see + my wedding certificate. As he talked, he laughed at it, and tore it up, + saying that the thing was not worth the paper it was on, and he threw the + pieces of paper into the grate. I listened, and I let him do it—not + that the paper itself mattered particularly. But the very fact that I let + him tear it showed me, myself, that I was believing him. + </p> + <p> + "He ended with an impassioned appeal to me to go with him. + </p> + <p> + "I showed him the door. I pretended to the last that I thought he was + lying to me. But I did not think so. I believed him. He had done it all + very cleverly. You can understand how I might—in view of what had + happened?" + </p> + <p> + I wanted to see Miss Lucy—how she looked when she said different + things, so I could make up my mind whether she was forgiving the doctor or + not. Not that I had much doubt but what they would get their personal + troubles fixed up in the end. The iron grating in the floor was held down + by four good-sized screws, one at each corner. They wasn't no filling at + all betwixt it and the iron grating that was in the ceiling of the room + below. The space was hollow. I got an idea and took out my jack-knife. + </p> + <p> + "What are you going to do?" whispers Martha. + </p> + <p> + "S-sh-sh," I says, "shut up, and you'll see." + </p> + <p> + One of the screws was loose, and I picked her out easy enough. The second + one I broke the point off of my knife blade on. Like you nearly always do + on a screw. When it snapped Colonel Tom he says: + </p> + <p> + "What's that?" He was powerful quick of hearing, Colonel Tom was. I laid + low till they went on talking agin. Then Martha slides out on tiptoe and + comes back in three seconds with one of these here little screw-drivers + they use around sewing-machines and the little oil can that goes with it. + I oils them screws and has them out in a holy minute, and lifts the + grating from the floor careful and lays it careful on the rug. + </p> + <p> + By doing all of which I could get my head and shoulders down into that + there hole. And by twisting my neck a good deal, see a little ways to each + side into the room, instead of jest underneath the grating. The doctor I + couldn't see yet, and only a little of Colonel Tom, but Miss Lucy quite + plain. + </p> + <p> + "You mean thing," Martha whispers, "you are blocking it up so I can't + hear." + </p> + <p> + "Keep still," I whispers, pulling my head out of the hole so the sound + wouldn't float downward into the room below. "You are jest like all other + women—you got too much curiosity." + </p> + <p> + "How about yourself?" says she. + </p> + <p> + "Who was it thought of taking the grating off?" I whispers back to her. + Which settles her temporary, but she says if I don't give her a chancet at + it purty soon she will tickle my ribs. + </p> + <p> + When I listens agin they are burying that there Prent McMakin. But without + any flowers. + </p> + <p> + Miss Lucy, she was half setting on, half leaning against, the arm of a + chair. Which her head was jest a bit bowed down so that I couldn't see her + eyes. But they was the beginnings of a smile onto her face. It was both + soft and sad. + </p> + <p> + "Well," says Colonel Tom, "you two have wasted almost twenty years of + life." + </p> + <p> + "There is one good thing," says the doctor. "It is a good thing that there + was no child to suffer by our mistakes." + </p> + <p> + She raised her face when he said that, Miss Lucy did, and looked in his + direction. + </p> + <p> + "You call that a good thing?" she says, in a kind of wonder. And after a + minute she sighs. "Perhaps," she says, "you are right. Heaven only knows. + Perhaps it WAS better that he died." + </p> + <p> + "DIED!" sings out the doctor. + </p> + <p> + And I hearn his chair scrape back, like he had riz to his feet sudden. I + nearly busted my neck trying fur to see him, but I couldn't. I was all + twisted up, head down, and the blood getting into my head from it so I had + to pull it out every little while. + </p> + <p> + "Yes," she says, with her eyes wide, "didn't you know he died?" And then + she turns quick toward Colonel Tom. "Didn't you tell him—" she + begins. But the doctor cuts in. + </p> + <p> + "Lucy," he says, his voice shaking and croaking in his throat, "I never + knew there was a child!" + </p> + <p> + I hears Colonel Tom hawk in HIS throat like a man who is either going to + spit or else say something. But he don't do either one. No one says + anything fur a minute. And then Miss Lucy says agin: + </p> + <p> + "Yes—he died." + </p> + <p> + And then she fell into a kind of a muse. I have been myself in the fix she + looked to be in then—so you forget fur a while where you are, or who + is there, whilst you think about something that has been in the back part + of your mind fur a long, long time. + </p> + <p> + What she was musing about was that child that hadn't lived. I could tell + that by her face. I could tell how she must have thought of it, often and + often, fur years and years, and longed fur it, so that it seemed to her at + times she could almost touch it. And how good a mother she would of been + to it. Some women has jest natcherally GOT to mother something or other. + Miss Lucy was one of that kind. I knowed all in a flash, whilst I looked + at her there, why she had adopted Martha fur her child. + </p> + <p> + It was a wonderful look that was onto her face. And it was a wonderful + face that look was onto. I felt like I had knowed her forever when I seen + her there. Like the thoughts of her the doctor had been carrying around + with him fur years and years, and that I had caught him thinking oncet or + twicet, had been my thoughts too, all my life. + </p> + <p> + Miss Lucy, she was one of the kind there's no use trying to describe. The + feller that could see her that-a-way and not feel made good by it orter + have a whaling. Not the kind of sticky, good feeling that makes you + uncomfortable, like being pestered by your conscience to jine a church or + quit cussing. But the kind of good that makes you forget they is anything + on earth but jest braveness of heart and being willing to bear things you + can't help. You knowed the world had hurt her a lot when you seen her + standing there; but you didn't have the nerve to pity her none, either. + Fur you could see she had got over pitying herself. Even when she was in + that muse, longing with all her soul fur that child she had never knowed, + you didn't have the nerve to pity her none. + </p> + <p> + "He died," she says agin, purty soon, with that gentle kind of smile. + </p> + <p> + Colonel Tom, he clears his throat agin. Like when you are awful dry. + </p> + <p> + "The truth is—" he begins. + </p> + <p> + And then he breaks off agin. Miss Lucy turns toward him when he speaks. By + the strange look that come onto her face there must of been something + right curious in HIS manner too. I was jest simply laying onto my forehead + mashing one of my dern eyeballs through a little hole in the grating. But + I couldn't, even that way, see fur enough to one side to see how HE + looked. + </p> + <p> + "The truth is," says Colonel Tom, trying it agin, "that I—well, + Lucy, the child may be dead, but he didn't die when you thought he did." + </p> + <p> + There was a flash of hope flared into her face that I hated to see come + there. Because when it died out in a minute, as I expected it would have + to, it looked to me like it might take all her life out with it. Her lips + parted like she was going to say something with them. But she didn't. She + jest looked it. + </p> + <p> + "Why did you never tell me this—that there was a child?" says the + doctor, very eager. + </p> + <p> + "Wait," says Colonel Tom, "let me tell the story in my own way." + </p> + <p> + Which he done it. It seems when he had went to Galesburg this here child + had only been born a few days. And Miss Lucy was still sick. And the kid + itself was sick, and liable to die any minute, by the looks of things. + </p> + <p> + Which Colonel Tom wishes that it would die, in his heart. He thinks that + it is an illegitimate child, and he hates the idea of it and he hates the + sight of it. The second night he is there he is setting in his sister's + room, and the woman that has been nursing the kid and Miss Lucy too is in + the next room with the kid. + </p> + <p> + She comes to the door and beckons to him, the nurse does. He tiptoes + toward her, and she says to him, very low-voiced, that "it is all over." + Meaning the kid has quit struggling fur to live, and jest natcherally + floated away. The nurse had thought Miss Lucy asleep, but as both her and + Colonel Tom turn quick toward her bed they see that she has heard and + seen, and she turns her face toward the wall. Which he tries fur to + comfort her, Colonel Tom does, telling her as how it is an illegitimate + child, and fur its own sake it was better it was dead before it ever lived + any. Which she don't answer of him back, but only stares in a wild-eyed + way at him, and lays there and looks desperate, and says nothing. + </p> + <p> + In his heart Colonel Tom is awful glad that it is dead. He can't help + feeling that way. And he quits trying to talk to his sister, fur he + suspicions that she will ketch onto the fact that he is glad that it is + dead. He goes on into the next room. + </p> + <p> + He finds the nurse looking awful funny, and bending over the dead kid. She + is putting a looking-glass to its lips. He asts her why. + </p> + <p> + She says she thought she might be mistaken after all. She couldn't say + jest WHEN it died. It was alive and feeble, and then purty soon it showed + no signs of life. It was like it hadn't had enough strength to stay and + had jest went. I didn't show any pulse, and it didn't appear to be + breathing. And she had watched it and done everything before she beckoned + to Colonel Tom and told him that it was dead. But as she come back into + the room where it was she thought she noticed something that was too light + to be called a real flutter move its eyelids, which she had closed down + over its eyes. It was the ghost of a move, like it had tried to raise the + lids, or they had tried to raise theirselves, and had been too weak. So + she has got busy and wrapped a hot cloth around it, and got a drop of + brandy or two between its lips, and was fighting to bring it back to life. + And thought she was doing it. Thought she had felt a little flutter in its + chest, and was trying if it had breath at all. + </p> + <p> + Colonel Tom thinks of what big folks the Buckner fambly has always been at + home. And how high they had always held their heads. And how none of the + women has ever been like this before. Nor no disgrace of any kind. And + that there kid, if it is alive, is a sign of disgrace. And he hoped to + God, he said, it wasn't alive. + </p> + <p> + But he don't say so. He stands there and watches that nurse fight fur to + hold onto the little mist of life she thinks now is still into it. She + unbuttons her dress and lays the kid against the heat of her own breast. + And wills fur it to live, and fights fur it to, and determines that it + must, and jest natcherally tries fur to bullyrag death into going away. + And Colonel Tom watching, and wishing that it wouldn't. But he gets + interested in that there fight, and so purty soon he is hoping both ways + by spells. And the fight all going on without a word spoken. + </p> + <p> + But finally the nurse begins fur to cry. Not because she is sure it is + dead. But because she is sure it is coming back. Which it does, slow. + </p> + <p> + "'But I have told HER that it is dead,'" says Colonel Tom, jerking his + head toward the other room where Miss Lucy is lying. He speaks in a low + voice and closes the door when he speaks. Fur it looks now like it was + getting strong enough so it might even squall a little. + </p> + <p> + "I don't know what kind of a look there was on my face," says Colonel Tom, + telling of the story to his sister and the doctor, "but she must have seen + that I was—and heaven help me, but I WAS!—sorry that the baby + was alive. It would have been such an easy way out of it had it been + really dead! + </p> + <p> + "'She mustn't know that it is living,' I said to the nurse, finally," says + Colonel Tom, going on with his story. I had been watching Miss Lucy's face + as Colonel Tom talked and she was so worked up by that fight fur the kid's + life she was breathless. But her eyes was cast down, I guess so her + brother couldn't see them. Colonel Tom goes on with his story: + </p> + <p> + "'You don't mean—' said the nurse, startled. + </p> + <p> + "'No! No!' I said, 'of course—not that! But—why should she + ever know that it didn't die?'" + </p> + <p> + "'It is illegitimate?' asked the nurse. + </p> + <p> + "'Yes,' I said." The long and short of it was, Colonel Tom went on to + tell, that the nurse went out and got her mother. Which the two of them + lived alone, only around the corner. And give the child into the keeping + of her mother, who took it away then and there. + </p> + <p> + Colonel Tom had made up his mind there wasn't going to be no bastards in + the Buckner fambly. And now that Miss Lucy thought it was dead he would + let her keep on thinking so. And that would be settled for good and all. + He figgered that it wouldn't ever hurt her none if she never knowed it. + </p> + <p> + The nurse's mother kept it all that week, and it throve. Colonel Tom was + coaxing of his sister to go back to Tennessee. But she wouldn't go. So he + had made up his mind to go back and get his Aunt Lucy Davis to come and + help him coax. He was only waiting fur his sister to get well enough so he + could leave her. She got better, and she never ast fur the kid, nor said + nothing about it. Which was probable because she seen he hated it so. He + had made up his mind, before he went back after their Aunt Lucy Davis, to + take the baby himself and put it into some kind of an institution. + </p> + <p> + "I thought," he says to Miss Lucy, telling of the story, "that you + yourself were almost reconciled to the thought that it hadn't lived." + </p> + <p> + Miss Lucy interrupted him with a little sound. She was breathing hard, and + shaking from head to foot. No one would have thought to look at her then + she was reconciled to the idea that it hadn't lived. It was cruel hard on + her to tear her to pieces with the news that it really had lived, but had + lived away from her all these years she had been longing fur it. And no + chancet fur her ever to mother it. And no way to tell what had ever become + of it. I felt awful sorry fur Miss Lucy then. + </p> + <p> + "But when I got ready to leave Galesburg," Colonel Tom goes on, "it + suddenly occurred to me that there would be difficulties in the way of + putting it in a home of any sort. I didn't know what to do with it—" + </p> + <p> + "What DID you? What DID you? WHAT DID YOU?" cries out Miss Lucy, pressing + her hand to her chest, like she was smothering. + </p> + <p> + "The first thing I did," says Colonel Tom, "was to get you to another + house—you remember, Lucy?" + </p> + <p> + "Yes, yes!" she says, excited, "and what then?" + </p> + <p> + "Perhaps I did a very foolish thing," says Colonel Tom. + </p> + <p> + "After I had seen you installed in the new place and had bidden you + good-bye, I got a carriage and drove by the place where the nurse and her + mother lived. I told the woman that I had changed my mind—that you + were going to raise the baby—that I was going to permit it. I don't + think she quite believed me, but she gave me the baby. What else could she + do? Besides, I had paid her well, when I discharged her, to say nothing to + you, and to keep the baby until I should come for it. They needed money; + they were poor. + </p> + <p> + "I was determined that it should never be heard of again. It was about + noon when I left Galesburg. I drove all that afternoon, with the baby in a + basket on the seat of the carriage beside me. Everybody has read in books, + since books were first written—and seen in newspapers, too—about + children being left on door steps. Given an infant to dispose of, that is + perhaps the first thing that occurs to a person. There was a thick plaid + shawl wrapped about the child. In the basket, beside the baby, was a + nursing bottle. About dusk I had it refilled with warm milk at a farmhouse + near—" + </p> + <p> + My head was beginning fur to swim. I pulled my head out of that there + hole, and rammed my foot into it. It banged against that grating and + loosened it. It busted loose some plaster, which showered down into the + room underneath. Miss Lucy, she screamed. And the doctor and Colonel Tom + both yelled out to oncet: + </p> + <p> + "Who's that?" + </p> + <p> + "It's me," I yells, banging that grating agin. "Watch out below there!" + And the third lick I give her she broke loose and clattered down right + onto a centre table and spilled over some photographs and a vase full of + flowers, and bounced off onto the floor. + </p> + <p> + "Look out below," I yells, "I'm coming down!" + </p> + <p> + I let my legs through first, and swung them so I would land to one side of + the table, and held by my hands, and dropped. But struck the table a + sideways swipe and turned it over, and fell onto the floor. The doctor, he + grabbed me by the collar and straightened me up, and give me a shake and + stood me onto my feet. + </p> + <p> + "What do you mean—" he begins. But I breaks in. + </p> + <p> + "Now then," I says to Colonel Tom, "did you leave that there child sucking + that there bottle on the doorstep of a blacksmith's house next to his shop + at the edge of a little country town about twenty miles northeast of + Galesburg wrapped up in that there plaid shawl?" + </p> + <p> + "I did," says Colonel Tom. + </p> + <p> + "Then," says I, turning to Miss Lucy, "I can understand why I have been + feeling drawed to YOU fur quite a spell. I'm him." + </p> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + Transcribers Note: The following changes made: + ORIGINAL + PAGE LINE ORIGINAL CHANGED TO + 17 28 Primose, Primrose, + 41 12 jests looks jest looks + 83 14 to, too, + 84 4 jests sets jest sets + 89 28 it it. + 99 13 our fur out fur + 121 4 Chieftan. Chieftain. + 121 16 i it if it + 160 8 them. then. + 183 18 sir fo' sir, fo' + 189 16 shedon' she don' + 207 22 purty seen purty soon + 210 5 They way The way + 212 6 pintetdly pintedly + 251 2 Witherses.' Witherses'. + 251 22 toe hurt to hurt + 269 3 "Gentleman, "Gentlemen, + 276 19 'Will," "Will," + 282 9 won't!" won't + 288 16 real y really + 292 10 t ouble. trouble. + 308 1 al right all right + 316 4 I says," they I says, "they +</pre> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Danny's Own Story, by Don Marquis + +*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK DANNY'S OWN STORY *** + +***** This file should be named 587-h.htm or 587-h.zip ***** +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: + http://www.gutenberg.org/5/8/587/ + +Produced by Judith Boss, and David Widger + + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: Danny's Own Story + +Author: Don Marquis + +Release Date: July, 1996 [Etext #587] +Posting Date: November 24, 2009 +Last Updated: August 2, 2016 + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ASCII + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK DANNY'S OWN STORY *** + + + + +Produced by Judith Boss + + + + + +DANNY'S OWN STORY + +By Don Marquis + + + TO + MY WIFE + + + + +CHAPTER I + + +HOW I come not to have a last name is a question that has always had +more or less aggervation mixed up with it. I might of had one jest +as well as not if Old Hank Walters hadn't been so all-fired, infernal +bull-headed about things in gineral, and his wife Elmira a blame sight +worse, and both of em ready to row at a minute's notice and stick to it +forevermore. + +Hank, he was considerable of a lusher. One Saturday night, when he come +home from the village in his usual fix, he stumbled over a basket that +was setting on his front steps. Then he got up and drawed back his foot +unsteady to kick it plumb into kingdom come. Jest then he hearn Elmira +opening the door behind him, and he turned his head sudden. But the kick +was already started into the air, and when he turns he can't stop it. +And so Hank gets twisted and falls down and steps on himself. That +basket lets out a yowl. + +"It's kittens," says Hank, still setting down and staring at that there +basket. All of which, you understand, I am a-telling you from hearsay, +as the lawyers always asts you in court. + +Elmira, she sings out: + +"Kittens, nothing! It's a baby!" + +And she opens the basket and looks in and it was me. + +"Hennerey Walters," she says--picking me up, and shaking me at him like +I was a crime, "Hennerey Walters, where did you get this here baby?" She +always calls him Hennerey when she is getting ready to give him fits. + +Hank, he scratches his head, for he's kind o' confuddled, and thinks +mebby he really has brought this basket with him. He tries to think of +all the places he has been that night. But he can't think of any place +but Bill Nolan's saloon. So he says: + +"Elmira, honest, I ain't had but one drink all day." And then he kind o' +rouses up a little bit, and gets surprised and says: + +"That a BABY you got there, Elmira?" And then he says, dignified: "So +fur as that's consarned, Elmira, where did YOU get that there baby?" + +She looks at him, and she sees he don't really know where I come from. +Old Hank mostly was truthful when lickered up, fur that matter, and she +knowed it, fur he couldn't think up no lies excepting a gineral denial +when intoxicated up to the gills. + +Elmira looks into the basket. They was one of them long rubber tubes +stringing out of a bottle that was in it, and I had been sucking that +bottle when interrupted. And they wasn't nothing else in that basket but +a big thick shawl which had been wrapped all around me, and Elmira +often wore it to meeting afterward. She goes inside and she looks at +the bottle and me by the light, and Old Hank, he comes stumbling in +afterward and sets down in a chair and waits to get Hail Columbia for +coming home in that shape, so's he can row back agin, like they done +every Saturday night. + +Blowed in the glass of the bottle was the name: "Daniel, Dunne and +Company." Anybody but them two old ignoramuses could of told right off +that that didn't have nothing to do with me, but was jest the company +that made them kind of bottles. But she reads it out loud three or four +times, and then she says: + +"His name is Daniel Dunne," she says. + +"And Company," says Hank, feeling right quarrelsome. + +"COMPANY hain't no name," says she. + +"WHY hain't it, I'd like to know?" says Hank. "I knowed a man oncet +whose name was Farmer, and if a farmer's a name why ain't a company a +name too?" + +"His name is Daniel Dunne," says Elmira, quietlike, but not dodging a +row, neither. + +"AND COMPANY," says Hank, getting onto his feet, like he always done +when he seen trouble coming. When Old Hank was full of licker he knowed +jest the ways to aggervate her the worst. + +She might of banged him one the same as usual, and got her own eye +blacked also, the same as usual; but jest then I lets out another big +yowl, and she give me some milk. + +I guess the only reason they ever kep' me at first was so they could +quarrel about my name. They'd lived together a good many years and +quarrelled about everything else under the sun, and was running out of +subjects. A new subject kind o' briskened things up fur a while. + +But finally they went too far with it one time. I was about two years +old then and he was still calling me Company and her calling me Dunne. +This time he hits her a lick that lays her out and likes to kill her, +and it gets him scared. But she gets around agin after a while, and they +both see it has went too fur that time, and so they makes up. + +"Elmira, I give in," says Hank. "His name is Dunne." + +"No," says she, tender-like, "you was right, Hank. His name is Company." +So they pretty near got into another row over that. But they finally +made it up between em I didn't have no last name, and they'd jest call +me Danny. Which they both done faithful ever after, as agreed. + +Old Hank, he was a blacksmith, and he used to lamm me considerable, him +and his wife not having any kids of their own to lick. He lammed me when +he was drunk, and he whaled me when he was sober. I never helt it up +agin him much, neither, not fur a good many years, because he got me +used to it young, and I hadn't never knowed nothing else. Hank's wife, +Elmira, she used to lick him jest about as often as he licked her, and +boss him jest as much. So he fell back on me. A man has jest naturally +got to have something to cuss around and boss, so's to keep himself +from finding out he don't amount to nothing. Leastways, most men is like +that. And Hank, he didn't amount to much; and he kind o' knowed it, way +down deep in his inmost gizzards, and it were a comfort to him to have +me around. + +But they was one thing he never sot no store by, and I got along now to +where I hold that up agin him more'n all the lickings he ever done. That +was book learning. He never had none himself, and he was sot agin it, +and he never made me get none, and if I'd ever asted him for any he'd +of whaled me fur that. Hank's wife, Elmira, had married beneath her, and +everybody in our town had come to see it, and used to sympathize with +her about it when Hank wasn't around. She'd tell em, yes, it was so. +Back in Elmira, New York, from which her father and mother come to our +part of Illinoise in the early days, her father had kep' a hotel, +and they was stylish kind o' folks. When she was born her mother was +homesick fur all that style and fur York State ways, and so she named +her Elmira. + +But when she married Hank, he had considerable land. His father had left +it to him, but it was all swamp land, and so Hank's father, he hunted +more'n he farmed, and Hank and his brothers done the same when he was a +boy. But Hank, he learnt a little blacksmithing when he was growing up, +cause he liked to tinker around and to show how stout he was. Then, +when he married Elmira Appleton, he had to go to work practising that +perfession reg'lar, because he never learnt nothing about farming. He'd +sell fifteen or twenty acres, every now and then, and they'd be high +times till he'd spent it up, and mebby Elmira would get some new +clothes. + +But when I was found on the door step, the land was all gone, and Hank +was practising reg'lar, when not busy cussing out the fellers that had +bought the land. Fur some smart fellers had come along, and bought up +all that swamp land and dreened it, and now it was worth seventy or +eighty dollars an acre. Hank, he figgered some one had cheated him. +Which the Walterses could of dreened theirn too, only they'd ruther +hunt ducks and have fish frys than to dig ditches. All of which I hearn +Elmira talking over with the neighbours more'n once when I was growing +up, and they all says: "How sad it is you have came to this, Elmira!" +And then she'd kind o' spunk up and say, thanks to glory, she'd kep' her +pride. + +Well, they was worse places to live in than that there little town, even +if they wasn't no railroad within eight miles, and only three hundred +soles in the hull copperation. Which Hank's shop and our house set in +the edge of the woods jest outside the copperation line, so's the city +marshal didn't have no authority to arrest him after he crossed it. + +They was one thing in that house I always admired when I was a kid. And +that was a big cistern. Most people has their cisterns outside their +house, and they is a tin pipe takes all the rain water off the roof and +scoots it into them. Ourn worked the same, but our cistern was right in +under our kitchen floor, and they was a trap door with leather hinges +opened into it right by the kitchen stove. But that wasn't why I was +so proud of it. It was because that cistern was jest plumb full of +fish--bullheads and red horse and sunfish and other kinds. + +Hank's father had built that cistern. And one time he brung home some +live fish in a bucket and dumped em in there. And they growed. And they +multiplied in there and refurnished the earth. So that cistern had got +to be a fambly custom, which was kep' up in that fambly for a habit. +It was a great comfort to Hank, fur all them Walterses was great fish +eaters, though it never went to brains. We fed em now and then, and +throwed back in the little ones till they was growed, and kep' the dead +ones picked out soon's we smelled anything wrong, and it never hurt the +water none; and when I was a kid I wouldn't of took anything fur living +in a house like that. + +Oncet, when I was a kid about six years old, Hank come home from the +bar-room. He got to chasing Elmira's cat cause he says it was making +faces at him. The cistern door was open, and Hank fell in. Elmira was +over to town, and I was scared. She had always told me not to fool +around there none when I was a little kid, fur if I fell in there I'd be +a corpse quicker'n scatt. + +So when Hank fell in, and I hearn him splash, being only a little +feller, and awful scared because Elmira had always made it so strong, +I hadn't no sort of unbelief but what Hank was a corpse already. So I +slams the trap door shut over that there cistern without looking in, +fur I hearn Hank flopping around down in there. I hadn't never hearn +a corpse flop before, and didn't know but what it might be somehow +injurious to me, and I wasn't going to take no chances. + +So I went out and played in the front yard, and waited fur Elmira. But +I couldn't seem to get my mind settled on playing I was a horse, nor +nothing. I kep' thinking mebby Hank's corpse is going to come flopping +out of that cistern and whale me some unusual way. I hadn't never been +licked by a corpse, and didn't rightly know jest what one is, anyhow, +being young and comparitive innocent. So I sneaks back in and sets +all the flatirons in the house on top of the cistern lid. I hearn some +flopping and splashing and spluttering, like Hank's corpse is trying to +jump up and is falling back into the water, and I hearn Hank's voice, +and got scareder yet. And when Elmira come along down the road, she seen +me by the gate a-crying, and she asts me why. + +"Hank is a corpse," says I, blubbering. + +"A corpse!" says Elmira, dropping her coffee which she was carrying home +from the gineral store and post-office. "Danny, what do you mean?" + +I seen I was to blame somehow, and I wisht then I hadn't said nothing +about Hank being a corpse. And I made up my mind I wouldn't say nothing +more. So when she grabs holt of me and asts me agin what did I mean +I blubbered harder, jest the way a kid will, and says nothing else. I +wisht I hadn't set them flatirons on that door, fur it come to me all at +oncet that even if Hank HAS turned into a corpse I ain't got any right +to keep him in that cistern. + +Jest then Old Mis' Rogers, which is one of our neighbours, comes by, +while Elmira is shaking me and yelling out what did I mean and how did +it happen and had I saw it and where was Hank's corpse? + +And Mis' Rogers she says, "What's Danny been doing now, Elmira?" me +being always up to something. + +Elmira she turned around and seen her, and she gives a whoop and then +hollers out: "Hank is dead!" and throws her apern over her head and sets +right down in the path and boo-hoos like a baby. And I bellers louder. + +Mis' Rogers, she never waited to ast nothing more. She seen she had a +piece of news, and she's bound to be the first to spread it, like they +is always a lot of women wants to be in them country towns. She run +right acrost the road to where the Alexanderses lived. Mis' Alexander, +she seen her coming and unhooked the screen door, and Mis' Rogers she +hollers out before she reached the porch: + +"Hank Walters is dead." + +And then she went footing it up the street. They was a black plume on +her bunnet which nodded the same as on a hearse, and she was into and +out of seven front yards in five minutes. + +Mis' Alexander, she runs acrost the street to where we was, and she +kneels down and puts her arm around Elmira, which was still rocking back +and forth in the path, and she says: + +"How do you know he's dead, Elmira? I seen him not more'n an hour ago." + +"Danny seen it all," says Elmira. + +Mis' Alexander turned to me, and wants to know what happened and how it +happened and where it happened. But I don't want to say nothing about +that cistern. So I busts out bellering fresher'n ever, and I says: + +"He was drunk, and he come home drunk, and he done it then, and that's +how he done it," I says. + +"And you seen him?" she says. I nodded. + +"Where is he?" says she and Elmira, both to oncet. + +But I was scared to say nothing about that there cistern, so I jest +bawled some more. + +"Was it in the blacksmith shop?" says Mis' Alexander. I nodded my head +agin and let it go at that. + +"Is he in there now?" asts Mis' Alexander. I nodded agin. I hadn't meant +to give out no untrue stories. But a kid will always tell a lie, not +meaning to tell one, if you sort of invite him with questions like that, +and get him scared the way you're acting. Besides, I says to myself, "so +long as Hank has turned into a corpse and that makes him dead, what's +the difference whether he's in the blacksmith shop or not?" Fur I hadn't +had any plain idea, being such a little kid, that a corpse meant to be +dead, and wasn't sure what being dead was like, neither, except they had +funerals over you then. I knowed being a corpse must be some sort of +a big disadvantage from the way Elmira always says keep away from that +cistern door or I'll be one. But if they was going to be a funeral in +our house, I'd feel kind o' important, too. They didn't have em every +day in our town, and we hadn't never had one of our own. + +So Mis' Alexander, she led Elmira into the house, both a-crying, and +Mis' Alexander trying to comfort her, and me a tagging along behind +holding onto Elmira's skirts and sniffling into them. And in a few +minutes all them women Mis' Rogers has told come filing into that room, +one at a time, looking sad. Only Old Mis' Primrose, she was awful late +getting there because she stopped to put on her bunnet she always wore +to funerals with the black Paris lace on it her cousin Arminty White had +sent her from Chicago. + +When they found out Hank had come home with licker in him and done it +himself, they was all excited, and they all crowds around and asts me +how, except two as is holding onto Elmira's hands which sets moaning in +a chair. And they all asts me questions as to what I seen him do, which +if they hadn't I wouldn't have told em the lies I did. But they egged me +on to it. + +Says one woman: "Danny, you seen him do it in the blacksmith shop?" + +I nodded. + +"But how did he get in?" sings out another woman. "The door was locked +on the outside with a padlock jest now when I come by. He couldn't of +killed himself in there and locked the door on the outside." + +I didn't see how he could of done that myself, so I begun to bawl agin +and said nothing at all. + +"He must of crawled through that little side window," says another one. +"It was open when I come by, if the door WAS locked. Did you see him +crawl through the little side window, Danny?" + +I nodded. They wasn't nothing else fur me to do. + +"But YOU hain't tall enough to look through that there window," says +another one to me. "How could you see into that shop, Danny?" + +I didn't know, so I didn't say nothing at all; I jest sniffled. + +"They is a store box right in under that window," says another one. +"Danny must have clumb onto that store box and looked in after he seen +Hank come down the road and crawl through the window. Did you scramble +onto the store box and look in, Danny?" + +I jest nodded agin. + +"And what was it you seen him do? How did he kill himself?" they all +asts to oncet. + +_I_ didn't know. So I jest bellers and boo-hoos some more. Things was +getting past anything I could see the way out of. + +"He might of hung himself to one of the iron rings in the jists above +the forge," says another woman. "He clumb onto the forge to tie the rope +to one of them rings, and he tied the other end around his neck, and +then he stepped off'n the forge. Was that how he done it, Danny?" + +I nodded. And then I bellered louder than ever. I knowed Hank was down +in that there cistern, a corpse and a mighty wet corpse, all this time; +but they kind o' got me to thinking mebby he was hanging out in the shop +by the forge, too. And I guessed I'd better stick to the shop story, not +wanting to say nothing about that cistern no sooner'n I could help it. + +Pretty soon one woman says, kind o' shivery: + +"I don't want to have the job of opening the door of that blacksmith +shop the first one!" + +And they all kind o' shivered then, and looked at Elmira. They says to +let some of the men open it. And Mis' Alexander, she says she'll run +home and tell her husband right off. + +And all the time Elmira is moaning in that chair. One woman says Elmira +orter have a cup o' tea, which she'll lay off her bunnet and go to the +kitchen and make it fur her. But Elmira says no, she can't a-bear to +think of tea, with poor Hennerey a-hanging out there in the shop. But +she was kind o' enjoying all that fuss being made over her, too. And all +the other women says: + +"Poor thing!" But all the same they was mad she said she didn't want any +tea, for they all wanted some and didn't feel free without she took it +too. Which she said she would after they'd coaxed a while and made her +see her duty. + +So they all goes out to the kitchen, bringing along some of the best +room chairs, Elmira coming too, and me tagging along behind. And the +first thing they noticed was them flatirons on top of the cistern door. +Mis' Primrose, she says that looks funny. But another woman speaks up +and says Danny must of been playing with them while Elmira was over +town. She says, "Was you playing they was horses, Danny?" + +I was feeling considerable like a liar by this time, but I says I was +playing horses with them, fur I couldn't see no use in hurrying things +up. I was bound to get a lamming purty soon anyhow. When I was a kid I +could always bet on that. So they picks up the flatirons, and as they +picks em up they come a splashing noise in the cistern. I thinks to +myself, Hank's corpse'll be out of there in a minute. One woman, she +says: + +"Goodness gracious sakes alive! What's that, Elmira?" + +Elmira says that cistern is mighty full of fish, and they is some great +big ones in there, and it must be some of them a-flopping around. Which +if they hadn't of been all worked up and talking all to oncet and all +thinking of Hank's body hanging out there in the blacksmith shop they +might of suspicioned something. For that flopping kep' up steady, and a +lot of splashing too. I mebby orter mentioned sooner it had been a dry +summer and they was only three or four feet of water in our cistern, and +Hank wasn't in scarcely up to his big hairy chest. So when Elmira says +the cistern is full of fish, that woman opens the trap door and looks +in. Hank thinks it's Elmira come to get him out. He allows he'll keep +quiet in there and make believe he is drowned and give her a good scare +and make her sorry fur him. But when the cistern door is opened, he +hears a lot of clacking tongues all of a sudden like they was a hen +convention on. He allows she has told some of the neighbours, and he'll +scare them too. So Hank, he laid low. And the woman as looks in sees +nothing, for it's as dark down there as the insides of the whale what +swallered Noah. But she leaves the door open and goes on a-making tea, +and they ain't skeercly a sound from that cistern, only little, ripply +noises like it might have been fish. + +Pretty soon a woman says: + +"It has drawed, Elmira; won't you have a cup?" Elmira she kicked some +more, but she took hern. And each woman took hern. And one woman, +a-sipping of hern, she says: + +"The departed had his good pints, Elmira." + +Which was the best thing had been said of Hank in that town fur years +and years. + +Old Mis' Primrose, she always prided herself on being honest, no matter +what come, and she ups and says: + +"I don't believe in no hippercritics at a time like this, no more'n no +other time. The departed wasn't no good, and the hull town knowed it; +and Elmira orter feel like it's good riddance of bad rubbish and them is +my sentiments and the sentiments of rightfulness." + +All the other women sings out: + +"W'y, MIS' PRIMROSE! I never!" And they seemed awful shocked. But down +in underneath more of em agreed than let on. Elmira she wiped her eyes +and she said: + +"Hennerey and me has had our troubles. They ain't any use in denying +that, Mis' Primrose. It has often been give and take between us and +betwixt us. And the hull town knows he has lifted his hand agin me +more'n oncet. But I always stood up to Hennerey, and I fit him back, +free and fair and open. I give him as good as he sent on this here +earth, and I ain't the one to carry no annermosities beyond the grave. I +forgive Hank all the orneriness he done me, and they was a lot of it, as +is becoming unto a church member, which he never was." + +And all the women but Mis' Primrose, they says: + +"Elmira Appleton, you HAVE got a Christian sperrit!" Which done her a +heap of good, and she cried considerable harder, leaking out tears as +fast as she poured tea in. Each one on em tries to find out something +good to say about Hank, only they wasn't much they could say. And Hank +in that there cistern a-listening to every word of it. + +Mis' Rogers, she says: + +"Afore he took to drinking like a fish, Hank Walters was as likely +looking a young feller as I ever see." + +Mis' White, she says: + +"Well, Hank he never was a stingy man, nohow. Often and often White has +told me about seeing Hank, after he'd sold a piece of land, treating the +hull town down in Nolan's bar-room jest as come-easy, go-easy as if it +wasn't money he orter paid his honest debts with." + +They set there that-a-way telling of what good pints they could think of +fur ten minutes, and Hank a-hearing it and getting madder and madder +all the time. The gineral opinion was that Hank wasn't no good and +was better done fur, and no matter what they said them feelings kep' +sticking out through the words. + +By and by Tom Alexander come busting into the house, and his wife, Mis' +Alexander, was with him. + +"What's the matter with all you folks," he says. "They ain't nobody +hanging in that there blacksmith shop. I broke the door down and went +in, and it was empty." + +Then they was a pretty howdy-do, and they all sings out: + +"Where's the corpse?" + +And some thinks mebby some one has cut it down and took it away, and all +gabbles to oncet. But for a minute no one thinks mebby little Danny has +been egged on to tell lies. Little Danny ain't saying a word. But Elmira +she grabs me and shakes me and she says: + +"You little liar, you, what do you mean by that tale you told?" + +I thinks that lamming is about due now. But whilst all eyes is turned on +me and Elmira, they comes a voice from that cistern. It is Hank's voice, +and he sings out: + +"Tom Alexander, is that you?" + +Some of the women scream, for some thinks it is Hank's ghost. But one +woman says what would a ghost be doing in a cistern? + +Tom Alexander, he laughs and he says: + +"What in blazes you want to jump in there fur, Hank?" + +"You dern ijut!" says Hank, "you quit mocking me and get a ladder, and +when I get out'n here I'll learn you to ast what did I want to jump in +here fur!" + +"You never seen the day you could do it," says Tom Alexander, meaning +the day he could lick him. "And if you feel that way about it you can +stay there fur all of me. I guess a little water won't hurt you none." +And he left the house. + +"Elmira," sings out Hank, mad and bossy, "you go get me a ladder!" + +But Elmira, her temper riz up too, all of a sudden. + +"Don't you dare order me around like I was the dirt under your feet, +Hennerey Walters," she says. + +At that Hank fairly roared, he was so mad. He says: + +"Elmira, when I get out'n here I'll give you what you won't fergit in a +hurry. I hearn you a-forgiving me and a-weeping over me, and I won't be +forgive nor weeped over by no one! You go and get that ladder." + +But Elmira only answers: + +"You wasn't sober when you fell into there, Hennerey Walters. And now +you can jest stay in there till you get a better temper on you!" And all +the women says: "That's right, Elmira; spunk up to him!" + +They was considerable splashing around in the water fur a couple of +minutes. And then, all of a sudden, a live fish come a-whirling out +of that hole, which he had ketched it with his hands. It was a big +bullhead, and its whiskers around its mouth was stiffened into spikes, +and it lands kerplump into Mis' Rogers's lap, a-wiggling, and it kind +o' horns her on the hands, and she is that surprised she faints. Mis' +Primrose, she gets up and pushes that fish back into the cistern with +her foot from the floor where it had fell, and she says right decided: + +"Elmira Walters, that was Elmira Appleton, if you let Hank out'n that +cistern before he has signed the pledge and promised to jine the church +you're a bigger fool 'n I take you to be. A woman has got to make a +stand!" With that she marches out'n our house. + +Then all the women sings out: + +"Send fur Brother Cartwright! Send fur Brother Cartwright!" + +And they sent me scooting acrost town to get him quick. Which he was the +preacher of the Baptist church and lived next to it. And I hadn't got no +lamming yet! + + + + + +CHAPTER II + + +I never stopped to tell but two, three folks on the way to Brother +Cartwright's, but they must of spread it quick. 'Cause when I got back +home with him it seemed like the hull town was there. It was along about +dusk by this time, and it was a prayer-meeting night at the church. +Mr. Cartwright told his wife to tell the folks what come to the +prayer-meeting he'd be back before long, and to wait fur him. Which she +really told them where he had went, and what fur. Mr. Cartwright +marches right into the kitchen. All the chairs in our house was into the +kitchen, and the women was a-talking and a-laughing, and they had sent +over to Alexanderses for their chairs and to Rogerses for theirn. Every +oncet in a while they would be a awful bust of language come up from +that hole where that unreginerate old sinner was cooped up in. + +I have travelled around considerable since them days, and I have mixed +up along of many kinds of people in many different places, and some +of 'em was cussers to admire. But I never hearn such cussing before or +since as old Hank done that night. He busted his own records and riz +higher'n his own water marks for previous times. I wasn't nothing but +a little kid then, and skeercly fitten fur to admire the full beauty of +it. They was deep down cusses, that come from the heart. Looking back +at it after all these years, I can believe what Brother Cartwright said +himself that night, that it wasn't natcheral cussing and some higher +power, like a demon or a evil sperrit, must of entered into Hank's human +carkis and give that turrible eloquence to his remarks. It busted out +every few minutes, and the women would put their fingers into their ears +till a spell was over. And it was personal, too. Hank, he would listen +until he hearn a woman's voice that he knowed, and then he would let +loose on her fambly, going backwards to her grandfathers and downwards +to her children's children. If her father had once stolen a hog, or her +husband done any disgrace that got found out on him, Hank would put it +all into his gineral remarks, with trimmings onto it. + +Brother Cartwright, he steps up to the hole in the floor when he first +comes in and he says, gentle-like and soothing, like a undertaker when he +tells you where to set at a home funeral: + +"Brother Walters." + +"Brother!" Hank yells out, "don't ye brother me, you sniffling, +psalm-singing, yaller-faced, pigeon-toed hippercrit, you! Get me a +ladder, gol dern you, and I'll come out'n here and learn you to brother +me, I will." Only that wasn't nothing to what Hank really said to that +preacher; no more like it than a little yaller, fluffy canary is like a +buzzard. + +"Brother Walters," says the preacher, ca'am but firm, "we have all +decided that you ain't going to come out of that cistern till you sign +the pledge." + +And Hank tells him what he thinks of pledges and him and church doings, +and it wasn't purty. And he says if he was as deep in eternal fire as +what he now is in rain-water, and every fish that nibbles at his toes +was a preacher with a red-hot pitchfork a-jabbing at him, they could jab +till the hull hereafter turned into snow afore he'd ever sign nothing a +man like Mr. Cartwright give him to sign. Hank was stubborner than any +mule he ever nailed shoes onto, and proud of being that stubborn. That +town was a awful religious town, and Hank he knowed he was called the +most onreligious man in it, and he was proud of that too; and if any one +called him a heathen it jest plumb tickled him all over. + +"Brother Walters," says that preacher, "we are going to pray for you." + +And they done it. They brought all them chairs close up around that +cistern, in a ring, and they all kneeled down there, with their heads +on 'em, and they prayed fur Hank's salvation. They done it up in style, +too, one at a time, and the others singing out, "Amen!" every now and +then, and they shed tears down onto Hank. The front yard was crowded +with men, all a-laughing and a-talking and chawing and spitting tobacco +and betting how long Hank would hold out. Old Si Emery, that was the +city marshal, and always wore a big nickel-plated star, was out there +with 'em. Si was in a sweat, 'cause Bill Nolan, that run the bar-room, +and some more of Hank's friends, or as near friends as he had, was out +in the road. They says to Si he must arrest that preacher, fur Hank is +being gradual murdered in that there water, and he'll die if he's helt +there too long, and it will be a crime. Only they didn't come into the +yard to say it amongst us religious folks. But Si, he says he dassent +arrest no one because it is outside the town copperation; but he's +considerable worried too about what his duty orter be. + +Pretty soon the gang that Mrs. Cartwright has rounded up at the +prayer-meeting comes stringing along in. They had all brung their hymn +books with them, and they sung. The hull town was there then, and they +all sung, and they sung revival hymns over Hank. And Hank he would jest +cuss and cuss. Every time he busted out into another cussing spell they +would start another hymn. Finally the men out in the front yard got +warmed up too, and begun to sing, all but Bill Nolan's crowd, and they +give Hank up for lost and went away disgusted. + +The first thing you knowed they was a reg'lar revival meeting there, and +that preacher was preaching a reg'lar revival sermon. I been to more'n +one camp meeting, but fur jest natcherally taking holt of the hull human +race by the slack of its pants and dangling of it over hell-fire, I +never hearn nothing could come up to that there sermon. Two or three old +backsliders in the crowd come right up and repented all over agin on the +spot. The hull kit and biling of 'em got the power good and hard, like +they does at camp meetings and revivals. But Hank, he only cussed. He +was obstinate, Hank was, and his pride and dander had riz up. Finally he +says: + +"You're taking a ornery, low-down advantage o' me, you are. Let me out'n +this here cistern and I'll show you who'll stick it out longest on dry +land, dern your religious hides!" + +Some of the folks there hadn't had no suppers, so after all the other +sinners but Hank had either got converted or else sneaked away, some of +the women says why not make a kind of love feast out of it, and bring +some vittles, like they does to church sociables. Because it seems +likely Satan is going to wrastle all night long, like he done with the +angel Jacob, and they ought to be prepared. So they done it. They went +and they come back with vittles and they made up hot coffee and they +feasted that preacher and theirselves and Elmira and me, all right in +Hank's hearing. + +And Hank was getting hungry himself. And he was cold in that water. And +the fish was nibbling at him. And he was getting cussed out and weak and +soaked full of despair. And they wasn't no way fur him to set down and +rest. And he was scared of getting a cramp in his legs, and sinking down +with his head under water and being drownded. He said afterward he'd of +done the last with pleasure if they was any way of suing that crowd fur +murder. So along about ten o'clock he sings out: + +"I give in, gosh dern ye! I give in. Let me out and I'll sign your pesky +pledge!" + +Brother Cartwright was fur getting a ladder and letting him climb out +right away. But Elmira, she says: + +"Don't you do it, Brother Cartwright; don't you do it. You don't know +Hank Walters like I does. If he oncet gets out o' there before he's +signed that pledge, he won't never sign it." + +So they fixed it up that Brother Cartwright was to write out a pledge +on the inside leaf of the Bible, and tie the Bible onto a string, and a +lead pencil onto another string, and let the strings down to Hank, +and he was to make his mark, fur he couldn't write, and they was to be +pulled up agin. Hank, he says all right, and they done it. But jest as +Hank was making his mark on the leaf of the book, that preacher done +what I has always thought was a mean trick. He was lying on the floor +with his head and shoulders into that hole as fur as he could, holding +a lantern way down into it, so as Hank could see. And jest as Hank made +that mark he spoke some words over him, and then he says: + +"Now, Henry Walters, I have baptized you, and you are a member of the +church." + +You'd a thought Hank would of broke out cussing agin at being took +unexpected that-a-way, fur he hadn't really agreed to nothing but +signing the pledge. But nary a cuss. He jest says: "Now, you get that +ladder." + +They got it, and he clumb up into the kitchen, dripping and shivering. + +"You went and baptized me in that water?" he asts the preacher. The +preacher says he has. + +"Then," says Hank, "you done a low-down trick on me. You knowed I has +made my brags I never jined no church nor never would jine. You knowed +I was proud of that. You knowed that it was my glory to tell of it, and +that I set a heap of store by it in every way. And now you've went and +took it away from me! You never fought it out fair and square, neither, +man playing to outlast man, like you done with this here pledge, but you +sneaked it in on me when I wasn't looking." + +They was a lot of men in that crowd that thought the preacher had went +too far, and sympathized with Hank. The way he done about that hurt +Brother Cartwright in our town, and they was a split in the church, +because some said it wasn't reg'lar and wasn't binding. He lost his +job after a while and become an evangelist. Which it don't make no +difference what one of them does, nohow. + +But Hank, he always thought he had been baptized reg'lar. And he never +was the same afterward. He had made his life-long brags, and his pride +was broke in that there one pertic'ler spot. And he sorrered and grieved +over it a good 'eal, and got grouchier and grouchier and meaner and +meaner, and lickered oftener, if anything. Signing the pledge couldn't +hold Hank. He was worse in every way after that night in the cistern, +and took to lamming me harder and harder. + + + + + +CHAPTER III + + +Well, all the lammings Hank laid on never done me any good. It seemed +like I was jest natcherally cut out to have no success in life, and no +amount of whaling could change it, though Hank, he was faithful. Before +I was twelve years old the hull town had seen it, and they wasn't +nothing else expected of me except not to be any good. + +That had its handy sides to it, too. They was lots of kids there that +had to go to school, but Hank, he never would of let me done that if I +had ast him, and I never asted. And they was lots of kids considerably +bothered all the time with their parents and relations. They made 'em go +to Sunday School, and wash up reg'lar all over on Saturday nights, and +put on shoes and stockings part of the time, even in the summer, and +some of 'em had to ast to go in swimming, and the hull thing was +a continuous trouble and privation to 'em. But they wasn't nothing +perdicted of me, and I done like it was perdicted. Everybody 'lowed +from the start that Hank would of made trash out'n me, even if I hadn't +showed all the signs of being trash anyhow. And if they was devilment +anywhere about that town they all says, "Danny, he done it." And like as +not I has. So I gets to be what you might call an outcast. All the kids +whose folks ain't trash, their mothers tells 'em not to run with me no +more. Which they done it all the more fur that reason, on the sly, and +it makes me more important with them. + +But when I gets a little bigger, all that makes me feel kind o' bad +sometimes. It ain't so handy then. Fur folks gets to saying, when I +would come around: + +"Danny, what do YOU want?" + +And if I says, "Nothing," they would say: + +"Well, then, you get out o' here!" + +Which they needn't of been suspicioning nothing like they pertended they +did, fur I never stole nothing more'n worter millions and mush millions +and such truck, and mebby now and then a chicken us kids use to roast in +the woods on Sundays, and jest as like as not it was one of Hank's hens +then, which I figgered I'd earnt it. + +Fur Hank, he had streaks when he'd work me considerable hard. He never +give me any money fur it. He loafed a lot too, and when he'd loaf I'd +loaf. But I did pick up right smart of handiness with tools around that +there shop of his'n, and if he'd ever of used me right I might of turned +into a purty fair blacksmith. But it wasn't no use trying to work fur +Hank. When I was about fifteen, times is right bad around the house fur +a spell, and Elmira is working purty hard, and I thinks to myself: + +"Well, these folks has kind o' brung you up, and you ain't never done +more'n Hank made you do. Mebby you orter stick to work a little more +when they's a job in the shop, even if Hank don't." + +Which I tried it fur about two or three years, doing as much work around +the shop as Hank done and mebby more. But it wasn't no use. One day +when I'm about eighteen, I seen awful plain I'll have to light out from +there. They was a circus come to town that day. I says to Hank: + +"Hank, they is a circus this afternoon and agin to-night." + +"So I has hearn," says Hank. + +"Are you going to it?" says I. + +"I mout," says Hank, "and then agin I moutn't. I don't see as it's no +consarns of yourn, nohow." I knowed he was going, though. Hank, he never +missed a circus. + +"Well," I says, "they wasn't no harm to ast, was they?" + +"Well, you've asted, ain't you?" says Hank. + +"Well, then," says I, "I'd like to go to that there circus myself." + +"They ain't no use in me saying fur you not to go," says Hank, "fur you +would go anyhow. You always does go off when you is needed." + +"But I ain't got no money," I says, "and I was going to ast you could +you spare me half a dollar?" + +"Great Jehosephat!" says Hank, "but ain't you getting stuck up! What's +the matter of you crawling in under the tent like you always done? First +thing I know you'll be wanting a pair of these here yaller shoes and a +stove-pipe hat." + +"No," says I, "I ain't no dude, Hank, and you know it. But they is +always things about a circus to spend money on besides jest the circus +herself. They is the side show, fur instance, and they is the grand +concert afterward. I calkelated I'd take 'em all in this year--the hull +dern thing, jest fur oncet." + +Hank, he looks at me like I'd asted fur a house 'n' lot, or a million +dollars, or something like that. But he don't say nothing. He jest +snorts. + +"Hank," I says, "I been doing right smart work around the shop fur two, +three years now. If you wasn't loafing so much you'd a noticed it more. +And I ain't never ast fur a cent of pay fur it, nor--" + +"You ain't wuth no pay," says Hank. "You ain't wuth nothing but to eat +vittles and wear out clothes." + +"Well," I says, "I figger I earn my vittles and a good 'eal more. And as +fur as clothes goes, I never had none but what Elmira made out'n yourn." + +"Who brung you up?" asts Hank. + +"You done it," says I, "and by your own say-so you done a dern poor job +at it." + +"You go to that there circus," says Hank, a-flaring up, "and I'll +lambaste you up to a inch of your life. So fur as handing out money fur +you to sling it to the dogs, I ain't no bank, and if I was I ain't no +ijut. But you jest let me hear of you even going nigh that circus lot +and all the lammings you has ever got, rolled into one, won't be +a measly little sarcumstance to what you WILL get. They ain't no +leather-faced young upstart with weepin'-willow hair going to throw up +to me how I brung him up. That's gratitood fur you, that is!" says Hank. +"If it hadn't of been fur me giving you a home when I found you first, +where would you of been now?" + +"Well," I says, "I might of been a good 'eal better off. If you hadn't +of took me in the Alexanderses would of, and then I wouldn't of been +kep' out of school and growed up a ignoramus like you is." + +"I never had no trouble keeping you away from school, I notice," says +Hank, with a snort. "This is the first I ever hearn of you wanting to go +there." + +Which was true in one way, and a lie in another. I hadn't never wanted +to go till lately, but he'd of lammed me if I had of wanted to. He +always said he would. And now I was too big and knowed it. + +Well, Hank, he never give me no money, so I watches my chancet that +afternoon and slips in under the tent the same as always. And I lays low +under them green benches and wiggled through when I seen a good chancet. +The first person I seen was Hank. Of course he seen me, and he shook +his fist at me in a promising kind of way, and they wasn't no trouble +figgering out what he meant. Fur a while I didn't enjoy that circus to +no extent. Fur I was thinking that if Hank tries to lick me fur it I'll +fight him back this time, which I hadn't never fit him back much yet fur +fear he'd pick up something iron around the shop and jest natcherally +lay me cold with it. + +I got home before Hank did. It was nigh sundown, and I was waiting in +the door of the shop fur Elmira to holler vittles is ready, and Hank +come along. He didn't waste no time. He steps inside the shop and he +takes down a strap and he says: + +"You come here and take off your shirt." + +But I jest moves away. Hank, he runs in on me, and he swings his strap. +I throwed up my arm, and it cut me acrost the knuckles. I run in on him, +and he dropped the strap and fetched me an openhanded smack plumb on the +mouth that jarred my head back and like to of busted it loose. Then I +got right mad, and I run in on him agin, and this time I got to him, and +wrastled with him. + +Well, sir, I never was so surprised in all my life before. Fur I hadn't +had holt on him more'n a minute before I seen I'm stronger than Hank +is. I throwed him, and he hit the ground with considerable of a jar, and +then I put my knee in the pit of his stomach and churned it a couple. +And I thinks to myself what a fool I must of been fur better'n a year, +because I might of done this any time. I got him by the ears and I +slammed his head into the gravel a few times, him a-reaching fur my +throat, and a-pounding me with his fists, but me a-taking the licks and +keeping holt. And I had a mighty contented time fur a few minutes there +on top of Hank, chuckling to myself, and batting him one every now and +then fur luck, and trying to make him holler it's enough. But Hank is +stubborn and he won't holler. And purty soon I thinks, what am I going +to do? Fur Hank will be so mad when I let him up he'll jest natcherally +kill me, without I kill him. And I was scared, because I don't want +neither one of them things to happen. Whilst I was thinking it over, +and getting scareder and scareder, and banging Hank's head harder and +harder, some one grabs me from behind. + +They was two of them, and one gets my collar and one gets the seat of +my pants, and they drug me off'n him. Hank, he gets up, and then he sets +down sudden on a horse block and wipes his face on his sleeve, which +they was considerable blood come onto the sleeve. + +I looks around to see who has had holt of me, and it is two men. One +of them looks about seven feet tall, on account of a big plug hat and a +long white linen duster, and has a beautiful red beard. In the road +they is a big stout road wagon, with a canopy top over it, pulled by two +hosses, and on the wagon box they is a strip of canvas. Which I couldn't +read then what was wrote on the canvas, but I learnt later it said, in +big print: + +SIWASH INDIAN SAGRAW. NATURE'S UNIVERSAL MEDICINAL SPECIFIC. DISCOVERED +BY DR. HARTLEY L. KIRBY AMONG THE ABORIGINES OF OREGON. + + +On account of being so busy, neither Hank nor me had hearn the wagon +come along the road and stop. The big man in the plug hat, he says, or +they was words to that effect, jest as serious: + +"Why are you mauling the aged gent?" + +"Well," says I, "he needed it considerable." + +"But," says he, still more solemn, "the good book says to honour thy +father and thy mother." + +"Well," I says, "mebby it does and mebby it don't. But HE ain't my +father, nohow. And he ain't been getting no more'n his come-uppings." + +"Vengeance is mine, saith the Lord," the big man remarks, very serious. +Hank, he riz up then, and he says: + +"Mister, be you a preacher? 'Cause if you be, the sooner you have druv +on, the better fur ye. I got a grudge agin all preachers." + +That feller, he jest looks Hank over ca'am and easy and slow before he +answers, and he wrinkles up his face like he never seen anything like +Hank before. Then he fetches a kind o' aggervating smile, and he says: + + + "Beneath a shady chestnut tree + The village blacksmith stands. + The smith, a pleasant soul is he + With warts upon his hands--" + + + +He stares at Hank hard and solemn and serious while he is saying that +poetry at him. Hank fidgets and turns his eyes away. But the feller +touches him on the breast with his finger, and makes him look at him. + +"My honest friend," says the feller, "I am NOT a preacher. Not right +now, anyhow. No! My mission is spreading the glad tidings of good +health. Look at me," and he swells his chest up, and keeps a-holt +of Hank's eyes with his'n. "You behold before you the discoverer, +manufacturer, and proprietor of Siwash Indian Sagraw, nature's own +remedy for Bright's Disease, rheumatism, liver and kidney trouble, +catarrh, consumption, bronchitis, ring-worm, erysipelas, lung fever, +typhoid, croup, dandruff, stomach trouble, dyspepsia--" And they was a +lot more of 'em. + +"Well," says Hank, sort o' backing up as the big man come nearer and +nearer to him, jest natcherally bully-ragging him with them eyes, "I got +none of them there complaints." + +The doctor he kind o' snarls, and he brings his hand down hard on Hank's +shoulder, and he says: + +"There are more things betwixt Dan and Beersheba than was ever dreamt +of in thy sagacity, Romeo!" Or they was words to that effect, fur that +doctor was jest plumb full of Scripter quotations. And he sings out +sudden, giving Hank a shove that nearly pushes him over: "Man alive!" he +yells, "you DON'T KNOW what disease you may have! Many's the strong man +I've seen rejoicing in his strength at the dawn of day cut down like the +grass in the field before sunset," he says. + +Hank, he's trying to look the other way, but that doctor won't let his +eyes wiggle away from his'n. He says very sharp: + +"Stick out your tongue!" + +Hank, he sticks her out. + +The doctor, he takes some glasses out'n his pocket and puts 'em on, and +he fetches a long look at her. Then he opens his mouth like he was going +to say something, and shuts it agin like his feelings won't let him. He +puts his arm across Hank's shoulder affectionate and sad, and then he +turns his head away like they was some one dead in the fambly. Finally, +he says: + +"I thought so. I saw it. I saw it in your eyes when I first drove up. I +hope," he says, very mournful, "I haven't come too late!" + +Hank, he turns pale. I was getting sorry fur Hank myself. I seen now why +I licked him so easy. Any one could of told from that doctor's actions +Hank was as good as a dead man already. But Hank, he makes a big effort, +and he says: + +"Shucks! I'm sixty-eight years old, doctor, and I hain't never had a +sick day in my life." But he was awful uneasy too. + +The doctor, he says to the feller with him: "Looey, bring me one of the +sample size." + +Looey brung it, the doctor never taking his eyes off'n Hank. He handed +it to Hank, and he says: + +"A whiskey glass full three times a day, my friend, and there is a good +chance for even you. I give it to you, without money and without price." + +"But what have I got?" asts Hank. + +"You have spinal meningitis," says the doctor, never batting an eye. + +"Will this here cure me?" says Hank. + +"It'll cure ANYTHING," says the doctor. + +Hank he says, "Shucks," agin, but he took the bottle and pulled the cork +out and smelt it, right thoughtful. And what them fellers had stopped +at our place fur was to have the shoe of the nigh hoss's off hind foot +nailed on, which it was most ready to drop off. Hank, he done it fur a +regulation, dollar-size bottle and they druv on into the village. + +Right after supper I goes down town. They was in front of Smith's Palace +Hotel. They was jest starting up when I got there. Well, sir, that +doctor was a sight. He didn't have his duster onto him, but his +stove-pipe hat was, and one of them long Prince Alferd coats nearly to +his knees, and shiny shoes, but his vest was cut out holler fur to show +his biled shirt, and it was the pinkest shirt I ever see, and in the +middle of that they was a diamond as big as Uncle Pat Hickey's wen, +what was one of the town sights. No, sir; they never was a man with more +genuine fashionableness sticking out all over him than Doctor Kirby. He +jest fairly wallered in it. + +I hadn't paid no pertic'ler attention to the other feller with him when +they stopped at our place, excepting to notice he was kind of slim +and blackhaired and funny complected. But I seen now I orter of looked +closeter. Fur I'll be dad-binged if he weren't an Injun! There he set, +under that there gasoline lamp the wagon was all lit up with, with +moccasins on, and beads and shells all over him, and the gaudiest turkey +tail of feathers rainbowing down from his head you ever see, and a +blanket around him that was gaudier than the feathers. And he shined and +rattled every time he moved. + +That wagon was a hull opry house to itself. It was rolled out in front +of Smith's Palace Hotel without the hosses. The front part was filled +with bottles of medicine. The doctor, he begun business by taking out a +long brass horn and tooting on it. They was about a dozen come, but they +was mostly boys. Then him and the Injun picked up some banjoes and sung +a comic song out loud and clear. And they was another dozen or so +come. And they sung another song, and Pop Wilkins, he closed up the +post-office and come over and the other two veterans of the Grand Army +of the Republicans that always plays checkers in there nights come along +with him. But it wasn't much of a crowd, and the doctor he looked sort +o' worried. I had a good place, right near the hind wheel of the wagon +where he rested his foot occasional, and I seen what he was thinking. So +I says to him: + +"Doctor Kirby, I guess the crowd is all gone to the circus agin +to-night." And all them fellers there seen I knowed him. + +"I guess so, Rube," he says to me. And they all laughed 'cause he called +me Rube, and I felt kind of took down. + +Then he lit in to tell about that Injun medicine. First off he told how +he come to find out about it. It was the father of the Injun what +was with him had showed him, he said. And it was in the days of his +youthfulness, when he was wild, and a cowboy on the plains of Oregon. +Well, one night he says, they was an awful fight on the plains of +Oregon, wherever them is, and he got plugged full of bullet holes. And +his hoss run away with him and he was carried off, and the hoss was +going at a dead run, and the blood was running down onto the ground. And +the wolves smelt the blood and took out after him, yipping and yowling +something frightful to hear, and the hoss he kicked out behind and +killed the head wolf and the others stopped to eat him up, and while +they was eating him the hoss gained a quarter of a mile. But they et him +up and they was gaining agin, fur the smell of human blood was on the +plains of Oregon, he says, and the sight of his mother's face when she +ast him never to be a cowboy come to him in the moonlight, and he knowed +that somehow all would yet be well, and then he must of fainted and he +knowed no more till he woke up in a tent on the plains of Oregon. And +they was an old Injun bending over him and a beautiful Injun maiden was +feeling of his pulse, and they says to him: + +"Pale face, take hope, fur we will doctor you with Siwash Injun Sagraw, +which is nature's own cure fur all diseases." + +They done it. And he got well. It had been a secret among them there +Injuns fur thousands and thousands of years. Any Injun that give away +the secret was killed and rubbed off the rolls of the tribe and buried +in disgrace upon the plains of Oregon. And the doctor was made a blood +brother of the chief, and learnt the secret of that medicine. Finally +he got the chief to see as it wasn't Christian to hold back that +there medicine from the world no longer, and the chief, his heart was +softened, and he says to go. + +"Go, my brother," he says, "and give to the pale faces the medicine +that has been kept secret fur thousands and thousands of years among the +Siwash Injuns on the plains of Oregon." + +And he went. It wasn't that he wanted to make no money out of that there +medicine. He could of made all the money he wanted being a doctor in the +reg'lar way. But what he wanted was to spread the glad tidings of good +health all over this fair land of ourn, he says. + +Well, sir, he was a talker, that there doctor was, and he knowed more +religious sayings and poetry along with it, than any feller I ever +hearn. He goes on and he tells how awful sick people can manage to get +and never know it, and no one else never suspicion it, and live along +fur years and years that-a-way, and all the time in danger of death. He +says it makes him weep when he sees them poor diluted fools going around +and thinking they is well men, talking and laughing and marrying and +giving in to marriage right on the edge of the grave. He sees dozens of +'em in every town he comes to. But they can't fool him, he says. He can +tell at a glance who's got Bright's Disease in their kidneys and who +ain't. His own father, he says, was deathly sick fur years and years and +never knowed it, and the knowledge come on him sudden like, and he died. +That was before Siwash Injun Sagraw was ever found out about. Doctor +Kirby broke down and cried right there in the wagon when he thought of +how his father might of been saved if he was only alive now that that +medicine was put up into bottle form, six fur a five-dollar bill so long +as he was in town, and after that two dollars fur each bottle at the +drug store. + +He unrolled a big chart and the Injun helt it by that there gasoline +lamp, so all could see, turning the pages now and then. It was a map of +a man's inside organs and digestive ornaments and things. They was red +and blue, like each organ's own disease had turned it, and some of 'em +was yaller. And they was a long string of diseases printed in black +hanging down from each organ's picture. I never knowed before they was +so many diseases nor yet so many things to have 'em in. + +Well, I was feeling purty good when that show started. But the doc, +he kep' looking right at me every now and then when he talked, and I +couldn't keep my eyes off'n him. + +"Does your heart beat fast when you exercise?" he asts the crowd. "Is +your tongue coated after meals? Do your eyes leak when your nose is +stopped up? Do you perspire under your arm pits? Do you ever have a +ringing in your ears? Does your stomach hurt you after meals? Does your +back ever ache? Do you ever have pains in your legs? Do your eyes blur +when you look at the sun? Are your teeth coated? Does your hair come out +when you comb it? Is your breath short when you walk up stairs? Do your +feet swell in warm weather? Are there white spots on your finger nails? +Do you draw your breath part of the time through one nostril and part +of the time through the other? Do you ever have nightmare? Did your +nose bleed easily when you were growing up? Does your skin fester when +scratched? Are your eyes gummy in the mornings? Then," he says, "if you +have any or all of these symptoms, your blood is bad, and your liver is +wasting away." + +Well, sir, I seen I was in a bad way, fur at one time or another I had +had most of them there signs and warnings, and hadn't heeded 'em, and I +had some of 'em yet. I begun to feel kind o' sick, and looking at them +organs and diseases didn't help me none, either. The doctor, he lit out +on another string of symptoms, and I had them, too. Seems to me I had +purty nigh everything but fits. Kidney complaint and consumption both +had a holt on me. It was about a even bet which would get me first. I +kind o' got to wondering which. I figgered from what he said that I'd +had consumption the LONGEST while, but my kind of kidney trouble was an +awful SLY kind, and it was lible to jump in without no warning a-tall +and jest natcherally wipe me out QUICK. So I sort o' bet on the +kidney trouble. But I seen I was a goner, and I forgive Hank all his +orneriness, fur a feller don't want to die holding grudges. + +Taking it the hull way through, that was about the best medicine show I +ever seen. But they didn't sell much. All the people what had any money +was to the circus agin that night. So they sung some more songs and +closed early and went into the hotel. + + + + +CHAPTER IV + + +Well, the next morning I'm feeling considerable better, and think mebby +I'm going to live after all. I got up earlier'n Hank did, and slipped +out without him seeing me, and didn't go nigh the shop a-tall. Fur now +I've licked Hank oncet I figger he won't rest till he has wiped that +disgrace out, and he won't care a dern what he picks up to do it with, +nuther. + +They was a crick about a hundred yards from our house, in the woods, +and I went over there and laid down and watched it run by. I laid awful +still, thinking I wisht I was away from that town. Purty soon a squirrel +comes down and sets on a log and watches me. I throwed an acorn at him, +and he scooted up a tree quicker'n scatt. And then I wisht I hadn't +scared him away, fur it looked like he knowed I was in trouble. Purty +soon I takes a swim, and comes out and lays there some more, spitting +into the water and thinking what shall I do now, and watching birds and +things moving around, and ants working harder'n ever I would agin unless +I got better pay fur it, and these here tumble bugs kicking their loads +along hind end to. + +After a while it is getting along toward noon, and I'm feeling hungry. +But I don't want to have no more trouble with Hank, and I jest lays +there. I hearn two men coming through the underbrush. I riz up on my +elbow to look, and one of them was Doctor Kirby and the other was Looey, +only Looey wasn't an Injun this morning. + +They sets down on the roots of a big tree a little ways off, with their +backs toward me, and they ain't seen me. So nacherally I listened to +what they was jawing about. They was both kind o' mad at the hull world, +and at our town in pertic'ler, and some at each other, too. The doctor, +he says: + +"I haven't had such rotten luck since I played the bloodhound in a Tom +Show--Were you ever an 'Uncle Tom's Cabin' artist, Looey?--and a justice +of the peace over in Iowa fined me five dollars for being on the street +without a muzzle. Said it was a city ordinance. Talk about the gentle +Rube being an easy mark! If these country towns don't get the wandering +minstrel's money one way they will another!" + +"It's your own fault," says Looey, kind o' sour. + +"I can't see it," says Doctor Kirby. "How did I know that all these +apple-knockers had been filled up with Sykes's Magic Remedy only two +weeks ago? I may have been a spiritualistic medium in my time now and +then," he says, "and a mind reader, too, but I'm no prophet." + +"I ain't talking about the business, Doc, and you know it," says Looey. +"We'd be all right and have our horses and wagon now if you'd only stuck +to business and not got us into that poker game. Talk about suckers! +Doc, for a man that has skinned as many of 'em as you have, you're the +worst sucker yourself I ever saw." + +The doctor, he cusses the poker game and country towns and medicine +shows and the hull creation and says he is so disgusted with life he +guesses he'll go and be a preacher or a bearded lady in a sideshow. But +Looey, he don't cheer up none. He says: + +"All right, Doc, but it's no use talking. You can TALK all right. We all +know that. The question is how are we going to get our horses and wagon +away from these Rubes?" + +I listens some more, and I seen them fellers was really into bad +trouble. Doctor Kirby, he had got into a poker game at Smith's Palace +Hotel the night before, right after the show. He had won from Jake +Smith, which run it, and from the others. But shucks! it never made no +difference what you won in that crowd. They had done Doctor Kirby and +Looey like they always done a drummer or a stranger that come along to +that town and was fool enough to play poker with them. They wasn't a +chancet fur an outsider. If the drummer lost, they would take his money +and that would be all they was to it. But if the drummer got to winning +good, some one would slip out'n the hotel and tell Si Emery, which was +the city marshal. And Si would get Ralph Scott, that worked fur Jake +Smith in his livery stable, and pin a star onto Ralph, too. And they +would be arrested fur gambling, only them that lived in our town would +get away. Which Si and Ralph was always scared every time they done it. +Then the drummer, or whoever it was, would be took to the calaboose, and +spend all night there. + +In the morning they would be took before Squire Matthews, that was +justice of the peace. They would be fined a big fine, and he would get +all the drummer had won and all he had brung to town with him besides. +Squire Matthews and Jake Smith and Windy Goodell and Mart Watson, which +the two last was lawyers, was always playing that there game on drummers +that was fool enough to play poker. Hank, he says he bet they divided it +up afterward, though it was supposed them fines went to the town. Well, +they played a purty closte game of poker in our little town. It was jest +like the doctor says to Looey: + +"By George," he says, "it is a well-nigh perfect thing. If you lose you +lose, and if you win you lose." + +Well, the doctor, he had started out winning the night before. And Si +Emery and Ralph Scott had arrested them. And that morning, while I had +been laying by the crick and the rest of the town was seeing the fun, +they had been took afore Squire Matthews and fined one hundred and +twenty-five dollars apiece. The doctor, he tells Squire Matthews it +is an outrage, and it ain't legal if tried in a bigger court, and they +ain't that much money in the world so fur as he knows, and he won't pay +it. But, the squire, he says the time has come to teach them travelling +fakirs as is always running around the country with shows and electric +belts and things that they got to stop dreening that town of hard-earned +money, and he has decided to make an example of 'em. The only two +lawyers in town is Windy and Mart, which has been in the poker game +theirselves, the same as always. The doctor says the hull thing is a +put-up job, and he can't get the money, and he wouldn't if he could, and +he'll lay in that town calaboose and rot the rest of his life and eat +the town poor before he'll stand it. And the squire says he'll jest take +their hosses and wagon fur c'latteral till they make up the rest of the +two hundred and fifty dollars. And the hosses and wagon was now in the +livery stable next to Smith's Palace Hotel, which Jake run that too. + +Well, I thinks to myself, it IS a dern shame, and I felt sorry fur them +two fellers. Fur our town was jest as good as stealing that property. +And I felt kind o' shamed of belonging to such a town, too. And I thinks +to myself, I'd like to help 'em out of that scrape. And then I seen +how I could do it, and not get took up fur it, neither. So, without +thinking, all of a sudden I jumps up and says: + +"Say, Doctor Kirby, I got a scheme!" + +They jumps up too, and they looks at me startled. Then the doctor kind +o' laughs and says: + +"Why, it's the young blacksmith!" + +Looey, he says, looking at me hard and suspicious: + +"What kind of a scheme are you talking about?" + +"Why," says I, "to get that outfit of yourn." + +"You've been listening to us," says Looey. Looey was one of them +quiet-looking fellers that never laughed much nor talked much. Looey, +he never made fun of nobody, which the doctor was always doing, and I +wouldn't of cared to make fun of Looey much, either. + +"Yes," I says, "I been laying here fur quite a spell, and quite +natcheral I listened to you, as any one else would of done. And mebby I +can get that team and wagon of yourn without it costing you a cent." + +Well, they didn't know what to say. They asts me how, but I says to +leave it all to me. "Walk right along down this here crick," I says, +"till you get to where it comes out'n the woods and runs acrost the road +in under an iron bridge. That's about a half a mile east. Jest after the +road crosses the bridge it forks. Take the right fork and walk another +half a mile and you'll see a little yaller-painted schoolhouse setting +lonesome on a sand hill. They ain't no school in it now. You wait there +fur me," I says, "fur a couple of hours. After that if I ain't there +you'll know I can't make it. But I think I'll make it." + +They looks at each other and they looks at me, and then they go off a +little piece and talk low, and then the doctor says to me: + +"Rube," he says, "I don't know how you can work anything on us that +hasn't been worked already. We've got nothing more we can lose. You go +to it, Rube." And they started off. + +So I went over town. Jake Smith was setting on the piazza in front of +his hotel, chawing and spitting tobacco, with his feet agin the railing +like he always done, and one of his eyes squinched up and his hat over +the other one. + +"Jake," I says, "where's that there doctor?" + +Jake, he spit careful afore he answered, and he pulled his long, +scraggly moustache careful, and he squinched his eyes at me. Jake was a +careful man in everything he done. + +"I dunno, Danny," he says. "Why?" + +"Well," I says, "Hank sent me over to get that wagon and them hosses of +theirn and finish that job." + +"That there wagon," says Jake, "is in my barn, with Si Emery watching +her, and she has got to stay there till the law lets her loose." I +figgered to myself Jake could use that team and wagon in his business, +and was going to buy her cheap offn the town, what share of her he +didn't figger he owned already. + +"Why, Jake," I says, "I hope they ain't been no trouble of no kind that +has drug the law into your barn!" + +"Well, Danny," he says, "they HAS been a little trouble. But it's about +over, now, I guess. And that there outfit belongs to the town now." + +"You don't say so!" says I, surprised-like. "When I seen them men last +night it looked to me like they was too fine dressed to be honest." + +"I don't think they be, Danny," says Jake, confidential. "In my opinion +they is mighty bad customers. But they has got on the wrong side of the +law now, and I guess they won't stay around here much longer." + +"Well," says I, "Hank will be glad." + +"Fur what?" asts Jake. + +"Well," says I, "because he got his pay in advance fur that job and now +he don't have to finish it. They come along to our place about sundown +yesterday, and we nailed a shoe on one hoss. They was a couple of +other hoofs needed fixing, and the tire on one of the hind wheels was +beginning to rattle loose." + +I had noticed that loose tire when I was standing by the hind wheel the +night before, and it come in handy now. So I goes on: + +"Hank, he allowed he'd fix the hull thing fur six bottles of that Injun +medicine. Elmira has been ailing lately, and he wanted it fur her. So +they handed Hank out six bottles then and there." + +"Huh!" says Jake. "So the job is all paid fur, is it?" + +"Yes," says I, "and I was expecting to do it myself. But now I guess +I'll go fishing instead. They ain't no other job in the shop." + +"I'll be dinged if you've got time to fish," says Jake. "I'm expecting +mebby to buy that rig off the town myself when the law lets loose of it. +So if the fixing is paid fur, I want everything fixed." + +"Jake," says I, kind of worried like, "I don't want to do it without +that doctor says to go ahead." + +"They ain't his'n no longer," says Jake. + +"I dunno," says I, "as you got any right to make me do it, Jake. It +don't look to me like it's no harm to beat a couple of fellers like them +out of their medicine. And I DID want to go fishing this afternoon." + +But Jake was that careful and stingy he'd try to skin a hoss twicet if +it died. He's bound to get that job done, now. + +"Danny," he says, "you gotto do that work. It ain't HONEST not to. What +a young feller like you jest starting out into life wants to remember is +to always be honest. Then," says Jake, squinching up his eyes, "people +trusts you and you get a good chancet to make money. Look at this here +hotel and livery stable, Danny. Twenty years ago I didn't have no more'n +you've got, Danny. But I always went by them mottoes--hard work and +being honest. You GOTTO nail them shoes on, Danny, and fix that wheel." + +"Well, all right, Jake," says I, "if you feel that way about it. Jest +give me a chaw of tobacco and come around and help me hitch 'em up." + +Si Emery was there asleep on a pile of straw guarding that property. But +Ralph Scott wasn't around. Si didn't wake up till we had hitched 'em up. +He says he will ride around to the shop with me. But Jake says: + +"It's all right, Si. I'll go over myself and fetch 'em back purty soon." +Which Si was wore out with being up so late the night before, and goes +back to sleep agin right off. + +Well, sir, they wasn't nothing went wrong. I drove slow through the +village and past our shop. Hank come to the door of it as I went past. +But I hit them hosses a lick, and they broke into a right smart trot. +Elmira, she come onto the porch and I waved my hand at her. She put her +hand up to her forehead to shut out the sun and jest stared. She didn't +know I was waving her farewell. Hank, he yelled something at me, but I +never hearn what. I licked them hosses into a gallop and went around the +turn of the road. And that's the last I ever seen or hearn of Hank or +Elmira or that there little town. + + + + + +CHAPTER V + + +I slowed down when I got to the schoolhouse, and both them fellers piled +in. + +"I guess I better turn north fur about a mile and then turn west, Doctor +Kirby," I says, "so as to make a kind of a circle around that town." + +"Why, so, Rube?" he asts me. + +"Well," I says, "we left it going east, and they'll foller us east; so +don't we want to be going west while they're follering east?" + +Looey, he agreed with me. But he said it wouldn't be much use, fur we +would likely be ketched up with and took back and hung or something, +anyhow. Looey could get the lowest in his sperrits sometimes of any man +I ever seen. + +"Don't be afraid of that," says the doctor. "They are not going to +follow us. THEY know they didn't get this property by due process of +law. THEY aren't going to take the case into a county court where it +will all come out about the way they robbed a couple of travelling men +with a fake trial." + +"I guess you know more about the law'n I do," I says. "I kind o' thought +mebby we stole them hosses." + +"Well," he says, "we got 'em, anyhow. And if they try to arrest us +without a warrant there'll be the deuce to pay. But they aren't going +to make any more trouble. I know these country crooks. They've got no +stomach for trouble outside their own township." + +Which made me feel considerable better, fur I never been of the opinion +that going agin the law done any one no good. + +They looks around in that wagon, and all their stuff was there--Jake +Smith and the squire having kep' it all together careful to make things +seem more legal, I suppose--and the doctor was plumb tickled, and Looey +felt as cheerful as he ever felt about anything. So the doctor says they +has everything they needs but some ready money, and he'll get that sure, +fur he never seen the time he couldn't. + +"But, Looey," he says, "I'm done with country hotels from now on. +They've got the last cent they ever will from me--at least in the summer +time." + +"How you going to work it?" Looey asts him, like he hasn't no hopes it +will work right. + +"Camp out," says the doctor. "I've been thinking it all over." Then he +turns to me. "Rube," he says, "where are you going?" + +"Well," I says, "I ain't pinted nowhere in pertic'ler except away from +that town we just left. Which my name ain't Rube, Doctor Kirby, but +Danny." + +"Danny what?" asts he. + +"Nothing," says I, "jest Danny." + +"Well, then, Danny," says he, "how would you like to be an Indian?" + +"Medical?" asts I, "or real?" + +"Like Looey," says he. + +I tells him being a medical Injun and mixed up with a show like his'n +would suit me down to the ground, and asts him what is the main duties +of one besides the blankets and the feathers. + +"Well," he says, "this camping-out scheme of mine will take a couple of +Indians. Instead of paying hotel and feed bills we'll pitch our tent," +he says, "at the edge of town in each sweet Auburn of the plains. We'll +save money and we'll be near the throbbing heart of nature. And an +Indian camp in each place will be a good advertisement for the Sagraw. +You can look after the horses and learn to do the cooking and that kind +o' thing. And maybe after while," he says, kind o' working himself up to +where he thought it was going to be real nice, "maybe after while I will +give you some insight into the hidden mysteries of selling Siwash Indian +Sagraw." + +"Well," says I, "I'd like to learn that." + +"Would you?" says he, kind o' laughing at himself and me too, and yet +kind o' enthusiastic, "well, then, the first thing you have to do is +learn how to sell corn salve. Any one that can sell corn salve can sell +anything. There's a farmhouse right over there, and I'll give you your +first lesson right now. Rummage around in that satchel there under the +seat and get me a tin box and some corn salve labels." + +I found a lot of labels, and some boxes too. The labels was all +different sizes, but barring that they all looked about the same to me. +Whilst I was sizing them up he asts me agin was they any corn salve ones +in there. + +"What colour label is it, Doctor Kirby?" I asts him. Fur they was blue +labels and white labels and pink labels. + +He looks at me right queer. "Can't you read the labels?" he says, right +sharp. + +"Well," I says, "I never been much of a reader when it comes to +different kind of medicines." + +"Corn salve is spelled only one way," says he. + +"That's right," I says, "and you'd think I orter be able to pick out a +common, ordinary thing like corn salve right off, wouldn't you?" + +"Danny," he says, "you don't mean to tell me you can't read anything at +all?" + +"I never told you nothing of the kind." + +He picks out a label. + +"If you can read so fast, what's that?" he asts. + +She is a pink one. I thinks to myself; she either is corn salve or else +she ain't corn salve. And it ain't natcheral he will pick corn salve, +fur he would think I would say that first off. So I'm betting it ain't. +I takes a chancet on it. + +"That," says I, "is mighty easy reading. That is Siwash Injun Sagraw." I +lost. + +"It's corn salve," he says. "And Great Scott! They call this the +twentieth century!" + +"I never called it that," says I, sort o' mad-like. Fur I was feeling +bad Doctor Kirby had found out I was such a ignoramus. + +"Where ignorance is bliss," says he, "it is folly to be wise. But all +the same, I'm going to take your education in hand and make you drink of +life's Peruvian springs." Or some spring like that it was. + +And the doctor, he done it. Looey said it wouldn't be no use learning to +read. He'd done a lot of reading, he said, and it never helped him none. +All he ever read showed him this feller Hamlet was right, he said, when +he wrote Shakespeare's works, and they wasn't much use in anything, +without you had a lot o' money. And they wasn't no chancet to get that +with all these here trusts around gobbling up everything and stomping +the poor man into the dirt, and they was lots of times he wisht he was +a Injun sure enough, and not jest a medical one, fur then he'd be a +free man and the bosses and the trusts and the railroads and the robber +tariff couldn't touch him. And then he shut up, and didn't say nothing +fur a hull hour, except oncet he laughed. + +Fur Doctor Kirby, he says, winking at me: "Looey, here, is a nihilist." + +"Is he," says I, "what's that?" And the doctor tells me about how they +blow up dukes and czars and them foreign high-mucky-mucks with dynamite. +Which is when Looey laughed. + +Well, we jogged along at a pretty good gait fur several hours, and we +stayed that night at a Swede's place, which the doctor paid him fur +everything in medicine, only it took a long time to make the bargain, +fur them Swedes is always careful not to get cheated, and hasn't many +diseases. And the next night we showed in a little town, and done right +well, and took in considerable money. We stayed there three days and +bought a tent and a sheet-iron stove and some skillets and things and +some provisions, and a suit of duds for me. + +Well, we went on, and we kept going on, and they was bully times. We'd +ease up careful toward a town, and pick us out a place on the edge, +where the hosses could graze along the side of the road; and most +ginerally by a piece of woods not fur from that town, and nigh a crick, +if we could. Then we'd set up our tent. After we had everything fixed, +I'd put on my Injun clothes and Looey his'n, and we'd drive through the +main store street of the town at a purty good lick, me a-holt of the +reins, and the doctor all togged out in his best clothes, and Looey +doing a Injun dance in the midst of the wagon. I'd pull up the hosses +sudden in front of the post-office or the depot platform or the hotel, +and the people would come crowding around, and the doctor he'd make a +little talk from the wagon, and tell everybody they would be a free show +that night on that corner, and fur everybody to come to it. And then +we'd drive back to camp, lickitysplit. + +Purty soon every boy in town would be out there, kind o' hanging around, +to see what a Injun camp was like. And the farmers that went into and +out of town always stopped and passed the time of day, and the Injun +camp got the hull town all worked up as a usual thing; and the doctor, +he done well, fur when night come every one would be on hand. Looey +and me, every time we went into town, had on our Injun suits, and the +doctor, he wondered why he hadn't never thought up that scheme before. +Sometimes, when they was lots of people ailing in a town, and they +hadn't been no show fur quite a while, we'd stay five or six days, and +make a good clean-up. The doctor, he sent to Chicago several times fur +alcohol in barrels, 'cause he was selling it so fast he had to make new +Sagraw. And he had to get more and more bottles, and a hull satchel full +of new Sagraw labels printed. + +And all the time the doctor was learning me education. And shucks! they +wasn't nothing so hard about it oncet you'd got started in to reading +things. I jest natcherally took to print like a duck to water, and +inside of a month I was reading nigh everything that has ever been +wrote. He had lots of books with him and every time a new sockdologer of +a word come along and I learnt how to spell her and where she orter fit +in to make sense it kind o' tickled me all over. And many's the time +afterward, when me and the doctor had lost track of each other, and they +was quite a spell people got to thinking I was a tramp, I've went into +these here Andrew Carnegie libraries in different towns jest as much to +see if they had anything fitten to read as fur to keep warm. + +Well, we went easing over toward the Indiany line, and we was having a +purty good time. They wasn't no work to do you could call really hard, +and they was plenty of vittles. Afternoons we'd lazy around the camp and +swap stories and make medicine if we needed a batch, and josh back and +forth with the people that hung around, and loaf and doze and smoke; or +mebby do a little fishing if we was nigh a crick. + +And nights after the show was over it was fun, too. We always had a +fire, even if it was a hot night, fur to cook by in the first place, and +fur to keep mosquitoes off, and to make things seem more cheerful. +They ain't nothing so good as hanging round a campfire. And they ain't +nothing any better than sleeping outdoors, neither. You roll up in your +blanket with your feet to the fire and you get to wondering things about +things afore you go to sleep. The silentness jest natcherally swamps +everything after a while, and then all them queer little noises +you never hear in the daytime comes popping and poking through the +silentness, or kind o' scratching their way through it sometimes, and +makes it kind o' feel more silent than ever. And if you are nigh a +crick, purty soon it will sort of get to talking to you, only you can't +make out what it's trying to say, and you get to wondering about that, +too. And if you are in a tent and it rains and the tent don't leak, that +rain is a kind of a nice thing to listen to itself. But if you can see +the stars you get to wondering more'n ever. They come out and they is +so many of them and they are so fur away, and yet they are so kind o' +friendly-like, too, if you happen to be feeling purty good. But if you +ain't feeling purty good, jest lay there and look at them stars long +enough; and then mebby you'll see it don't make no difference whether +you're feeling good or not, fur they got a way o' making your private +troubles look mighty small. And you get to wondering why that is, too, +fur they ain't human; and it don't stand to reason you orter pay no +attention to them, one way nor the other. They is jest there, like trees +and cricks and hills. But I have often noticed that the things that is +jest there has got a way of seeming more friendly than the things that +has been built and put there. You can look at a big iron bridge or a +grain elevator or a canal all day long, and if you're feeling blue it +don't help you none. It was jest put there. Or a hay stack is the same +way. But you go and lazy around in the grass when you're down on your +luck and kind o' make remarks to a crick or a big, old walnut tree, and +before long it gets you to feeling like it didn't make no difference +how you felt, anyhow; fur you don't amount to nothing by the side of +something that was always there. You get to thinking how the hull world +itself was always here, and you sort o' see they ain't nothing important +enough about yourself to worry about, and presently you will go to +sleep and forget it. The doctor says to me one time them stars ain't +any different from this world, and this is one of them. Which is a fool +idea, as any one can see. He had a lot of queer ideas like that, Doctor +Kirby had. But they ain't nothing like sleeping out of doors nights to +make you wonder the kind of wonderings you never will get any answer to. + +Well, I never cared so much fur houses after them days. They was bully +times, them was. And I was kind of proud of being with a show, too. +Many's the time I have went down the street in that there Injun suit, +and seen how the young fellers would of give all they owned to be me. +And every now and then you would hear one say when you went past: + +"Huh, I know him! That's one of them show fellers!" + +One afternoon we pitches our tent right on the edge of a little town +called Athens. We was nigh the bank of a crick, and they was a grove +there. We was camped jest outside of a wood-lot fence, and back in +through the trees from us they was a house with a hedge fence all around +it. They was apple trees and all kind of flower bushes and things inside +of the hedge. The second day we was there I takes a walk back through +the wood-lot, and along past the house, and they was one of these here +early harvest apple trees spilling apples through a gap in the fence. +Them is a mighty sweet and juicy kind of apple, and I picks one up and +bites into it. + +"I think you might have asked for it," says some one. + + + + + +CHAPTER VI + + +I looks up, and that was how I got acquainted with Martha. She was +eating one herself, setting up in the tree like a boy. In her lap was a +book she had been reading. She was leaning back into the fork two limbs +made so as not to tumble. + +"Well," I says, "can I have one?" + +"You've eaten it already," she says, "so there isn't any use begging for +it now." + +I seen she was a tease, that girl, and I would of give anything to of +been able to tease her right back agin. But I couldn't think of nothing +to say, so I jest stands there kind o' dumb like, thinking what a dern +purty girl she was, and thinking how dumb I must look, and I felt my +face getting red. Doctor Kirby would of thought of something to say +right off. And after I got back to camp I would think of something +myself. But I couldn't think of nothing bright, so I says: + +"Well, then, you give me another one!" + +She gives the core of the one she has been eating a toss at me. But I +ketched it, and made like I was going to throw it back at her real hard. +She slung up her arm, and dodged back, and she dropped her book. + +I thinks to myself I'll learn that girl to get sassy and make me feel +like a dumb-head, even if she is purty. So I don't say a word. I jest +picks up that book and sticks it under my arm and walks away slow with +it to where they was a stump a little ways off, not fur from the crick, +and sets down with my back to her and opens it. And I was trying all the +time to think of something smart to say to her. But I couldn't of done +it if I was to be shot. Still, I thinks to myself, no girl can sass me +and not get sassed back, neither. + +I hearn a scramble behind me which I knowed was her getting out of that +tree. And in a minute she was in front of me, mad. + +"Give me my book," she says. + +But I only reads the name of the book out loud, fur to aggervate her. I +had on purty good duds, but I kind of wisht I had on my Injun rig then. +You take the girls that always comes down to see the passenger train +come into the depot in them country towns and that Injun rig of mine and +Looey's always made 'em turn around and look at us agin. I never wisht +I had on them Injun duds so hard before in my life. But I couldn't think +of nothing bright to say, so I jest reads the name of that book over to +myself agin, kind o' grinning like I got a good joke I ain't going to +tell any one. + +"You give me my book," she says agin, red as one of them harvest apples, +"or I'll tell Miss Hampton you stole it and she'll have you and your +show arrested." + +I reads the name agin. It was "The Lost Heir." I seen I had her good and +teased now, so I says: "It must be one of these here love stories by the +way you take on over it." + +"It's not," she says, getting ready to cry. "And what right have you got +in our wood-lot, anyhow?" + +"Well," I says, "I was jest about to move on and climb out of it when +you hollered to me from that tree." + +"I didn't!" she says. But she was mad because she knowed she HAD spoke +to me first, and she was awful sorry she had. + +"I thought I hearn you holler," I says, "but I guess it must of been a +squirrel." I said it kind o' sarcastic like, fur I was still mad with +myself fur being so dumb when we first seen each other. I hadn't no idea +it would hurt her feelings as hard as it did. But all of a sudden she +begins to wink, and her chin trembled, and she turned around short, and +started to walk off slow. She was mad with herself fur being ketched in +a lie, and she was wondering what I would think of her fur being so bold +as to of spoke first to a feller she didn't know. + +I got up and follered her a little piece. And it come to me all to oncet +I had teased her too hard, and I was down on myself fur it. + +"Say," I says, kind of tagging along beside of her, "here's your old +book." + +But she didn't make no move to take it, and her hands was over her face, +and she wouldn't pull 'em down to even look at it. + +So I tried agin. + +"Well," I says, feeling real mean, "I wisht you wouldn't cry. I didn't +go to make you do that." + +She drops her hands and whirls around on me, mad as a wet hen right off. + +"I'm not! I'm not!" she sings out, and stamps her feet. "I'm not +crying!" But jest then she loses her holt on herself and busts out and +jest natcherally bellers. "I hate you!" she says, like she could of +killed me. + +That made me kind of dumb agin. Fur it come to me all to oncet I liked +that girl awful well. And here I'd up and made her hate me. I held the +book out to her agin and says: + +"Well, I'm mighty sorry fur that, fur I don't feel that-a-way about you +a-tall. Here's your book." + +Well, sir, she snatches that book and she gives it a sling. I thought it +was going kersplash into the crick. But it didn't. It hit right into the +fork of a limb that hung down over the crick, and it all spread out when +it lit, and stuck in that crotch somehow. She couldn't of slung it that +way on purpose in a million years. We both stands and looks at it a +minute. + +"Oh, oh!" she says, "what have I done? It's out of the town library and +I'll have to pay for it." + +"I'll get it fur you," I says. But it wasn't no easy job. If I shook +that limb it would tumble into the crick. But I clumb the tree and eased +out on that limb as fur as I dast to. And, of course, jest as I got holt +of the book, that limb broke and I fell into the crick. But I had the +book. It was some soaked, but I reckoned it could still be read. + +I clumb out and she was jest splitting herself laughing at me. The +wet on her face where she had cried wasn't dried up yet, and she was +laughing right through it, kind o' like the sun does to one of these +here May rainstorms sometimes, and she was the purtiest girl I ever +seen. Gosh!--how I was getting to like that girl! And she told me I +looked like a drowned rat. + +Well, that was how Martha and me was interduced. She wasn't more'n +sixteen, and when she found out I was a orphan she was glad, fur she was +one herself. Which Miss Hampton that lived in that house had took her to +raise. And when I tells her how I been travelling around the country all +summer she claps her hands and she says: + +"Oh, you are on a quest! How romantic!" + +I asts her what is a quest. And she tells me. She knowed all about them, +fur Martha was considerable of a reader. Some of them was longer and +some of them was shorter, them quests, but mostly, Martha says, they was +fur a twelvemonth and a day. And then you are released from your vow +and one of these here queens gives you a whack over the shoulder with a +sword and says: "Arise, Sir Marmeluke, I dub you a night." And then it +is legal fur you to go out and rescue people and reform them and spear +them if they don't see things your way, and come between husband and +wife when they row, and do a heap of good in the world. Well, they was +other kind of quests too, but mostly you married somebody, or was dubbed +a night, or found the party you was looking fur, in the end. And Martha +had it all fixed up in her own mind I was in a quest to find my father. +Fur, says she, he is purty certain to be a powerful rich man and more'n +likely a earl. + +The way I was found, Martha says, kind o' pints to the idea they was a +earl mixed up in it somewhere. She had read a lot about earls, and knew +their ways. Mebby my mother was a earl's daughter. Earl's daughters is +the worst fur leaving you out in baskets, going by what Martha said. It +is a kind of a habit with them, fur they is awful proud people. But it +was a lucky way to start life, from all she said, that basket way. There +was Moses was left out that way, and when he growed up he was made a +kind of a president of the hull human race, the same as Ruzevelt, and +figgered out the twelve commandments. Martha would of give anything if +she could of only been found in a basket like me, I could see that. But +she wasn't. She had jest been left a orphan when her folks died. They +wasn't even no hopes she had been changed at birth fur another one. But +I seen down in under everything Martha kind o' thought mebby one of them +nights might come a-prancing along and wed her in spite of herself, or +she would be carried off, or something. She was a very romanceful kind +of girl. + +When I seen she had it figgered out I was in a quest fur some +high-mucky-muck fur a dad, I didn't tell her no different. I didn't take +much stock in them earls and nights myself. So fur as I could see they +was all furriners of one kind or another. But that thing of being into a +quest kind of interested me, too. + +"How would I know him if I was to run acrost him?" I asts her. + +"You would feel an Intangible Something," she says, "drawing you toward +him." + +I asts her what kind of a something. I make out from what she says it is +some like these fellers that can find water with a piece of witch hazel +switch. You take a switch of it between your thumbs and point it up. +Then you shut your eyes and walk backwards. When you get over where the +water is the witch hazel stick twists around and points to the ground. +You dig there and you get a good well. Nobody knows jest why that +stick is drawed to the ground. It is like one of these little whirlygig +compasses is drawed to the north. It is the same, Martha says, if you is +on a quest fur a father or a mother, only you have got to be worthy of +that there quest, she says. The first time you meet the right one you +are drawed jest like the witch hazel. That is the Intangible Something +working on you, she says. Martha had learnt a lot about that. The book +that had fell in the crick was like that. She lent it to me. + +Well, that all sounded kind of reasonable to me. I seen that witch hazel +work myself. Old Blindy Wolfe, whose eyes had been dead fur so many +years they had turned plumb white, had that gift, and picked out all the +places fur wells that was dug in our neighbourhood at home. And I makes +up my mind I will watch out fur that feeling of being drawed wherever I +goes after this. You can't tell what will come of them kind of things. +So purty soon Martha has to milk the cow, and I goes along back to camp +thinking about that quest and about what a purty girl she is, which we +had set there talking so long it was nigh sundown and my clothes had +dried onto me. + +When I got over to camp I seen they must be something wrong. Looey was +setting in the grass under the wagon looking kind of sour and kind of +worried and watching the doctor. The doctor was jest inside the tent, +and he was looking queer too, and not cheerful, which he was usually. + +The doctor looks at me like he don't skeercly know me. Which he don't. +He has one of them quiet kind of drunks on. Which Looey explains is +bound to come every so often. He don't do nothing mean, but jest gets +low-sperrited and won't talk to no one. Then all of a sudden he will go +down town and walk up and down the main streets, orderly, but looking +hard into people's faces, mostly women's faces. Oncet, Looey says, they +was big trouble over it. They was in a store in a good-sized town, and +he took hold of a woman's chin, and tilted her face back, and looked at +her hard, and most scared her to death, and they was nearly being a riot +there. And he was jailed and had to pay a big fine. Since then Looey +always follers him around when he is that-a-way. + +Well, that night Doctor Kirby is too fur gone fur us to have our show. +He jest sets and stares and stares at the fire, and his eyes looks like +they is another fire inside of his head, and he is hurting outside and +in. Looey and me watches him from the shadders fur a long time before +we turns in, and the last thing I seen before I went to sleep was him +setting there with his face in his hands, staring, and his lips moving +now and then like he was talking to himself. + +The next day he is asleep all morning. But that day he don't drink +any more, and Looey says mebby it ain't going to be one of the reg'lar +pifflicated kind. I seen Martha agin that day, too--twicet I has talks +with her. I told her about the doctor. + +"Is he into a quest, do you think?" I asts her. + +She says she thinks it is remorse fur some crime he has done. But I +couldn't figger Doctor Kirby would of done none. So that night after the +show I says to him, innocent-like: + +"Doctor Kirby, what is a quest?" He looks at me kind of queer. + +"Wherefore," says he, "this sudden thirst for enlightenment?" + +"I jest run acrost the word accidental-like," I told him. + +He looks at me awful hard, his eyes jest natcherally digging into me. +I felt like he knowed I had set out to pump him. I wisht I hadn't tried +it. Then he tells me a quest is a hunt. And I'm glad that's over with. +But it ain't. Fur purty soon he says: + +"Danny, did you ever hear of Lady Clara Vere de Vere?" + +"No," I says, "who is she?" + +"A lady friend of Lord Tennyson's," he says, "whose manners were above +reproach." + +"Well," I says, "she sounds kind of like a medicine to me." + +"Lady Clara," he says, "and all the other Vere de Veres, were people +with manners we should try to imitate. If Lady Clara had been here last +night when I was talking to myself, Danny, her manners wouldn't have let +her listen to what I was talking about." + +"I didn't listen!" I says. Fur I seen what he was driving at now with +them Vere de Veres. He thought I had ast him what a quest was because he +was on one. I was certain of that, now. He wasn't quite sure what he had +been talking about, and he wanted to see how much I had hearn. I thinks +to myself it must be a awful funny kind of hunt he is on, if he only +hunts when he is in that fix. But I acted real innocent and like my +feelings was hurt, and he believed me. Purty soon he says, cheerful +like: + +"There was a girl talking to you to-day, Danny." + +"Mebby they was," I says, "and mebby they wasn't." But I felt my face +getting red all the same, and was mad because it did. He grinned kind of +aggervating at me and says some poetry at me about in the spring a young +man's frenzy likely turns to thoughts of love. + +"Well," I says, kind of sheepish-like, "this is summer-time, and purty +nigh autumn." Then I seen I'd jest as good as owned up I liked Martha, +and was kind of mad at myself fur that. But I told him some more about +her, too. Somehow I jest couldn't help it. He laughs at me and goes on +into the tent. + +I laid there and looked at the fire fur quite a spell, outside the tent. +I was thinking, if all them tales wasn't jest dern foolishness, how I +wisht I would really find a dad that was a high-muckymuck and could come +back in an automobile and take her away. I laid there fur a long, long +time; it must of been fur a couple of hours. I supposed the doctor had +went to sleep. + +But all of a sudden I looks up, and he is in the door of the tent +staring at me. I seen he had been in there at it hard agin, and +thinking, quiet-like, all this time. He stood there in the doorway of +the tent, with the firelight onto his face and his red beard, and his +arms stretched out, holding to the canvas and looking at me strange and +wild. Then he moved his hand up and down at me, and he says: + +"If she's fool enough to love you, treat her well--treat her well. For +if you don't, you can never run away from the hell you'll carry in your +own heart." + +And he kind of doubled up and pitched forward when he said that, and +if I hadn't ketched him he would of fell right acrost the fire. He was +plumb pifflicated. + + + + + +CHAPTER VII + + +Martha wouldn't of took anything fur being around Miss Hampton, she +said. Miss Hampton was kind of quiet and sweet and pale looking, and +nobody ever thought of talking loud or raising any fuss when she was +around. She had enough money of her own to run herself on, and she kep' +to herself a good deal. She had come to that town from no one knowed +where, years ago, and bought that place. Fur all of her being so gentle +and easy and talking with one of them soft, drawly kind of voices, +Martha says, no one had ever dared to ast her about herself, though they +was a lot of women in that town that was wishful to. + +But Martha said she knowed what Miss Hampton's secret was, and she +hadn't told no one, neither. Which she told me, and all the promising I +done about not telling would of made the cold chills run up your back, +it was so solemn. Miss Hampton had been jilted years ago, Martha said, +and the name of the jilter was David Armstrong. Well, he must of been +a low down sort of man. Martha said if things was only fixed in this +country like they ought to be, she would of sent a night to find that +David Armstrong. And that would of ended up in a mortal combat, and the +night would have cleaved him. + +"Yes," says I, "and then you would of married that there night, I +suppose." + +She says she would of. + +"Well," says I, "mebby you would of and mebby you wouldn't of. If he +cleaved David Armstrong, that night would likely be arrested fur it." + +Martha says if he was she would wait outside his dungeon keep fur years +and years, till she was a old woman with gray in her hair, and every day +they would give lingering looks at each other through the window bars. +And they would be happy thata-way. And she would get her a white dove +and train it so it would fly up to that window and take in notes to him, +and he would send notes back that-away, and they would both be awful sad +and romanceful and contented doing that-a-way fur ever and ever. + +Well, I never took no stock in them mournful ways of being happy. I +couldn't of riz up to being a night fur Martha. She expected too much of +one. I thought it over fur a little spell without saying anything, and +I tried to make myself believe I would of liked all that dove business. +But it wasn't no use pertending. I knowed I would get tired of it. + +"Martha," I says, "mebby these here nights is all right, and mebby they +ain't. I never seen one, and I don't know. And, mind you, I ain't saying +a word agin their way of acting. I can't say how I would of been myself, +if I had been brung up like them. But it looks to me, from some of the +things you've said about 'em, they must have a dern fool streak in 'em +somewheres." + +I was kind of jealous of them nights, I guess, or I wouldn't of run 'em +down that-a-way behind their backs. But the way she was always taking on +over them was calkelated to make me see I wasn't knee-high to a duck in +Martha's mind when one of them nights popped into her head. When I run +'em down that-a-way, she says to the blind all things is blind, and if I +had any chivalry into me myself I'd of seen they wasn't jest dern fools, +but noble, and seen it easy. And she sighed, like she'd looked fur +better things from me. When I hearn her do that I felt sorry I hadn't +come up to her expectances. So I says: + +"Martha, it's no use pertending I could stay in one of them jails and +keep happy at it. I got to be outdoors. But I tell you what I can do, +if it will make you feel any better. If I ever happen to run acrost this +here David Armstrong, and he is anywheres near my size, I'll lick him +fur you. And if he's too hefty fur me to lick him fair," I says, "and +I get a good chancet I will hit him with a piece of railroad iron fur +you." + +Of course, I knowed I would never find him. But what I said seemed to +brighten her up a little. + +"But," says I, "if I went too fur with it, and was hung fur it, how +would you feel then, Martha?" + +Well, sir, that didn't jar Martha none. She looked kind of dreamy and +said mebby she would go and jine a convent and be a nun. And when she +got to be the head nun she would build a chapel over the tomb where I +was buried in. And every year, on the day of the month I was hung on, +she would lead all the other nuns into that chapel, and the organ would +play mournful, and each nun as passed would lay down a bunch of white +roses onto my tomb. I reckon that orter made me feel good, but somehow +it didn't. + +So I changed the subject, and asts her why I ain't seen Miss Hampton +around the place none. Martha says she has a bad sick headache and ain't +been outside the house fur four or five days. I asts her why she don't +wait on her. But she don't want her to, Martha says. She's been staying +in the house ever since we been in town, and jest wants to be let alone. +I thinks all that is kind of funny. And then I seen from the way Martha +is answering my questions that she is holding back something she would +like to tell, but don't think she orter tell. I leaves her alone and +purty soon she says: + +"Do you believe in ghosts?" + +I tell her sometimes I think I don't believe in 'em, and sometimes I +think I do, but anyhow I would hate to see one. I asts her why does she +ast. + +"Because," she says, "because--but I hadn't ought to tell you." + +"It's daylight," I says; "it's no use being scared to tell now." + +"It ain't that," she says, "but it's a secret." + +When she said it was a secret, I knowed she would tell. Martha liked +having her friends help her to keep a secret. + +"I think Miss Hampton has seen one," she says, finally, "and that her +staying indoors has something to do with that." + +Then she tells me. The night of the day after we camped there, her and +Miss Hampton was out fur a walk. We didn't have any show that night. +They passed right by our camp, and they seen us there by the fire, all +three of us. But they was in the road in the dark, and we was all in the +light, so none of the three of us seen them. Miss Hampton was kind of +scared of us, first glance, fur she gasped and grabbed holt of Martha's +arm all of a sudden so tight she pinched it. Which it was very natcheral +that she would be startled, coming across three strange men all of a +sudden at night around a turn in the road. They went along home, and +Martha went inside and lighted a lamp, but Miss Hampton lingered on the +porch fur a minute. Jest as she lit the lamp Martha hearn another little +gasp, or kind of sigh, from Miss Hampton out there on the porch. Then +they was the sound of her falling down. Martha ran out with the lamp, +and she was laying there. She had fainted and keeled over. Martha said +jest in the minute she had left her alone on the porch was when Miss +Hampton must of seen the ghost. Martha brung her to, and she was looking +puzzled and wild-like both to oncet. Martha asts her what is the matter. + +"Nothing," she says, rubbing her fingers over her forehead in a helpless +kind of way, "nothing." + +"You look like you had seen a ghost," Martha tells her. + +Miss Hampton looks at Martha awful funny, and then she says mebby she +HAS seen a ghost, and goes along upstairs to bed. And since then she +ain't been out of the house. She tells Martha it is a sick headache, but +Martha says she knows it ain't. She thinks she is scared of something. + +"Scared?" I says. "She wouldn't see no more ghosts in the daytime." + +Martha says how do I know she wouldn't? She knows a lot about ghosts of +all kinds, Martha does. + +Horses and dogs can see them easier than humans, even in the daytime, +and it makes their hair stand up when they do. But some humans that have +the gift can see them in the daytime like an animal. And Martha asts me +how can I tell but Miss Hampton is like that? + +"Well, then," I says, "she must be a witch. And if she is a witch why is +she scared of them a-tall?" + +But Martha says if you have second sight you don't need to be a witch to +see them in the daytime. + +Well, you can never tell about them ghosts. Some says one thing and some +says another. Old Mis' Primrose, in our town, she always believed in 'em +firm till her husband died. When he was dying they fixed it up he was +to come back and visit her. She told him he had to, and he promised. And +she left the front door open fur him night after night fur nigh a year, +in all kinds of weather; but Primrose never come. Mis' Primrose says he +never lied to her, and he always done jest as she told him, and if he +could of come she knowed he would; and when he didn't she quit believing +in ghosts. But they was others in our town said it didn't prove nothing +at all. They said Primrose had really been lying to her all his life, +because she was so bossy he had to lie to keep peace in the fambly, +and she never ketched on. Well, if I was a ghost and had of been Mis' +Primrose's husband when I was a human, I wouldn't of come back neither, +even if she had of bully-ragged me into one of them death-bed promises. +I guess Primrose figgered he had earnt a rest. + +If they is ghosts, what comfort they can get out of coming back where +they ain't wanted and scaring folks is more'n I can see. It's kind of +low down, I think, and foolish too. Them kind of ghosts is like these +here overgrown smart alecs that scares kids. They think they are mighty +cute, but they ain't. They are jest foolish. A human, or a ghost either, +that does things like that is jest simply got no principle to him. I +hearn a lot of talk about 'em, first and last, and I ain't ready to say +they ain't no ghosts, nor yet ready to say they is any. To say they is +any is to say something that is too plumb unlikely. And too many people +has saw them fur me to say they ain't any. But if they is, or they +ain't, so fur as I can see, it don't make much difference. Fur they +never do nothing, besides scaring you, except to rap on tables and tell +fortunes, and such fool things. Which a human can do it all better and +save the expense of paying money to one of these here sperrit mediums +that travels around and makes 'em perform. But all the same they has +been nights I has felt different about 'em myself, and less hasty to run +'em down. Well, it don't do no good to speak harsh of no one, not even a +ghost or a ordinary dead man, and if I was to see a ghost, mebby I would +be all the scareder fur what I have jest wrote. + +Well, with all the talking back and forth we done about them ghosts we +couldn't agree. That afternoon it seemed like we couldn't agree about +anything. I knowed we would be going away from there before long, and I +says to myself before I go I'm going to have that girl fur my girl, or +else know the reason why. No matter what I was talking about, that idea +was in the back of my head, and somehow it kind of made me want to +pick fusses with her, too. We was setting on a log, purty deep into the +woods, and there come a time when neither of us had said nothing fur +quite a spell. But after a while I says: + +"Martha, we'll be going away from here in two, three days now." + +She never said nothing. + +"Will you be sorry?" I asts her. + +She says she will be sorry. + +"Well," I says, "WHY will you be sorry?" + +I thought she would say because _I_ was going. And then I would be +finding out whether she liked me a lot. But she says the reason she will +be sorry is because there will be no one new to talk to about things +both has read. I was considerable took down when she said that. + +"Martha," I says, "it's more'n likely I won't never see you agin after I +go away." + +She says that kind of parting comes between the best of friends. + +I seen I wasn't getting along very fast, nor saying what I wanted to +say. I reckon one of them Sir Marmeluke fellers would of knowed what to +say. Or Doctor Kirby would. Or mebby even Looey would of said it better +than I could. So I was kind of mad with myself, and I says, mean-like: + +"If you don't care, of course, I don't care, neither." + +She never answered that, so I gets up and makes like I am starting off. + +"I was going to give you some of them there Injun feathers of mine to +remember me by," I tells her, "but if you don't want 'em, there's plenty +of others would be glad to take 'em." + +But she says she would like to have them. + +"Well," I says, "I will bring them to you tomorrow afternoon." + +She says, "Thank you." + +Finally I couldn't stand it no longer. I got brave all of a sudden, and +busted out: "Martha, I--I--I--" + +But I got to stuttering, and my braveness stuttered itself away. And I +finishes up by saying: + +"I like you a hull lot, Martha." Which wasn't jest exactly what I had +planned fur to say. + +Martha, she says she kind of likes me, too. + +"Martha," I says, "I like you more'n any girl I ever run acrost before." + +She says, "Thank you," agin. The way she said it riled me up. She said +it like she didn't know what I meant, nor what I was trying to get out +of me. But she did know all the time. I knowed she did. She knowed I +knowed it, too. Gosh-dern it, I says to myself, here I am wasting all +this time jest TALKING to her. The right thing to do come to me all of +a sudden, and like to took my breath away. But I done it. I grabbed her +and I kissed her. + +Twice. And then agin. Because the first was on the chin on account of +her jerking her head back. And the second one she didn't help me none. +But the third time she helped me a little. And the ones after that she +helped me considerable. + +Well, they ain't no use trying to talk about the rest of that afternoon. +I couldn't rightly describe it if I wanted to. And I reckon it's none of +anybody's business. + +Well, it makes you feel kind of funny. You want to go out and pick on +somebody about four sizes bigger'n you are and knock the socks off'n +him. It stands to reason others has felt that-a-way, but you don't +believe it. You want to tell people about it one minute. The next minute +you have got chills and ague fur fear some one will guess it. And you +think the way you are about her is going to last fur always. + +That evening, when I was cooking supper, I laughed every time I was +spoke to. When Looey and I was hitching up to drive down town to give +the show, one of the hosses stepped on his foot and I laughed at that, +and there was purty nigh a fight. And I was handling some bottles and +broke one and cut my hand on a piece of glass. I held it out fur a +minute dumb-like, with the blood and medicine dripping off of it, and +all of a sudden I busted out laughing agin. The doctor asts if I am +crazy. And Looey says he has thought I was from the very first, and some +night him and the doctor will be killed whilst asleep. One of the things +we have every night in the show is an Injun dance, and Looey and I sings +what the doctor calls the Siwash war chant, whirling round and round +each other, and making licks at each other with our tommyhawks, and +letting out sudden wild yips in the midst of that chant. That night I +like to of killed Looey with that tommyhawk, I was feeling so good. If +it had been a real one, instead of painted-up wood, I would of killed +Looey, the lick I give him. The worst part of that was that, after the +show, when we got back to camp and the hosses was picketed out fur the +night, I had to tell Looey all about how I felt fur an explanation of +why I hit him. + +Which it made Looey right low in his sperrits, and he shakes his head +and says no good will come of it. + +"Did you ever hear of Romeo and Joliet?" he says: + +"Mebby," I says, "but what it was I hearn I can't remember. What about +them?" + +"Well," he says, "they carried on the same as you. And now where are +they?" + +"Well," I says, "where are they?" + +"In the tomb," says Looey, very sad, like they was closte personal +friends of his'n. And he told me all about them and how Young Cobalt had +done fur them. But from what I could make out it all happened away back +in the early days. And shucks!--I didn't care a dern, anyhow. I told him +so. + +"Well," he says, "It's been the history of the world that it brings +trouble." And he says to look at Damon and Pythias, and Othello and the +Merchant of Venus. And he named about a hundred prominent couples like +that out of Shakespeare's works. + +"But it ends happy sometimes," I says. + +"Not when it is true love it don't," says Looey. "Look at Anthony and +Cleopatra." + +"Yes," I says, sarcastic like, "I suppose they are in the tomb, too?" + +"They are," says Looey, awful solemn. + +"Yes," I says, "and so is Adam and Eve and Dan and Burrsheba and all +the rest of them old-timers. But I bet they had a good time while they +lasted." + +Looey shakes his head solemn and sighs and goes to sleep very mournful, +like he has to give me up fur lost. But I can't sleep none myself. +So purty soon I gets up and puts on my shoes and sneaks through the +wood-lot and through the gap in the fence by the apple tree and into +Miss Hampton's yard. + +It was a beauty of a moonlight night, that white and clear and clean you +could almost see to read by it, like all of everything had been scoured +as bright as the bottom of a tin pan. And the shadders was soft and +thick and velvety and laid kind of brownish-greeney on the grass. I +flopped down in the shadder of some lilac bushes and wondered which was +Martha's window. I knowed she would be in bed long ago, but---- Well, I +was jest plumb foolish that night, and I couldn't of kept away fur any +money. That moonlight had got into my head, it seemed like, and made +me drunk. But I would rather be looney that-a-way than to have as much +sense as King Solomon and all his adverbs. I was that looney that if I +had knowed any poetry I would of said it out loud, right up toward that +window. I never knowed why poetry was made up before that night. But the +only poetry I could think of was about there was a man named Furgeson +that lived on Market Street, and he had a one-eyed Thomas cat that +couldn't well be beat. Which it didn't seem to fit the case, so I didn't +say her. + +The porch of that house was part covered with vines, but they was kind +of gaped apart at one corner. As I laid there in the shadder of the +bushes I hearn a fluttering movement, light and gentle, on that porch. +Then, all of a sudden, I seen some one standing on the edge of the porch +where the vines was gaped apart, and the moonlight was falling onto +them. They must of come there awful soft and still. Whoever it was +couldn't see into the shadder where I laid, that is, if it was a human +and not a ghost. Fur my first thought was it might be one of them ghosts +I had been running down so that very day, and mebby the same one Miss +Hampton seen on that very same porch. I thought I was in fur it then, +mebby, and I felt like some one had whispered to the back of my neck +it ought to be scared. And I WAS scared clean up into my hair. I stared +hard, fur I couldn't take my eyes away. Then purty soon I seen if it was +a ghost it must be a woman ghost. Fur it was dressed in light-coloured +clothes that moved jest a little in the breeze, and the clothes was so +near the colour of the moonlight they seemed to kind of silver into +it. You would of said it had jest floated there, and was waiting fur to +float away agin when the breeze blowed a little stronger, or the moon +drawed it. + +It didn't move fur ever so long. Then it leaned forward through the gap +in the vines, and I seen the face real plain. It wasn't no ghost, it was +a lady. Then I knowed it must be Miss Hampton standing there. Away off +through the trees our camp fire sent up jest a dull kind of a glow. She +was standing there looking at that. I wondered why. + + + + + +CHAPTER VIII + + +The next day we broke camp and was gone from that place, and I took away +with me the half of a ring me and Martha had chopped in two. We kept on +going, and by the time punkins and county fairs was getting ripe we was +into the upper left-hand corner of Ohio. And there Looey left us. + +One day Doctor Kirby and me was walking along the main street of a +little town and we seen a bang-up funeral percession coming. It must of +been one of the Grand Army of the Republicans, fur they was some of the +old soldiers in buggies riding along behind, and a big string of people +follering in more buggies and some on foot. Everybody was looking mighty +sollum. But they was one man setting beside the undertaker on the seat +of the hearse that was looking sollumer than them all. It was Looey, and +I'll bet the corpse himself would of felt proud and happy and contented +if he could of knowed the style Looey was giving that funeral. + +It wasn't nothing Looey done, fur he didn't do nothing but jest set +there with his arms folded onto his bosom and look sad. But he done THAT +better than any one else. He done it so well that you forgot the corpse +was the chief party to that funeral. Looey took all the glory from him. +He had jest natcherally stole that funeral away from its rightful owner +with his enjoyment of it. He seen the doctor and me as the hearse went +by our corner, but he never let on. A couple of hours later Looey comes +into camp and says he is going to quit. + +The doctor asts him if he has inherited money. + +"No," says Looey, "but my aunt has given me a chancet to go into +business." + +Looey says he was born nigh there, and was prowling around town the day +before and run acrost an old aunt of his'n he had forgot all about. +She is awful respectable and religious and ashamed of him being into +a travelling show. And she has offered to lend him enough to buy a +half-share in a business. + +"Well," says the doctor, "I hope it will be something you are fitted +for and will enjoy. But I've noticed that after a man gets the habit of +roaming around this terrestial ball it's mighty hard to settle down and +watch his vine and fig tree grow." + +Looey smiles in a sad sort of a way, which he seldom smiled fur +anything, and says he guesses he'll like the business. He says they +ain't many businesses he could take to. Most of them makes you forget +this world is but a fleeting show. But he has found a business which +keeps you reminded all the time that dust is dust and ash to ashes shalt +return. When he first went into the medicine business, he said, he was +drawed to it by the diseases and the sudden dyings-off it always kept +him in mind of. He thought they wasn't no other business could lay over +it fur that kind of comfort. But he has found out his mistake. + +"What kind of business are you going into?" asts the doctor. + +"I am going to be an undertaker," says Looey. "My aunt says this town +needs the right kind of an undertaker bad." + +Mr. Wilcox, the undertaker that town has, is getting purty old and +shaky, Looey says, and young Mr. Wilcox, his son, is too light-minded +and goes at things too brisk and airy to give it the right kind of a +send-off. People don't want him joking around their corpses and he is +a fat young man and can't help making puns even in the presence of the +departed. Old Mr. Wilcox's eyesight is getting so poor he made a scandal +in that town only the week before. He was composing a departed's face +into a last smile, but he went too fur with it, and give the departed +one of them awful mean, devilish kind of grins, like he had died with +a bad temper on. By the time the departed's fambly had found it out, +things had went too fur, and the face had set that-a-way, so it wasn't +safe to try to change it any. + +Old Mr. Wilcox had several brands of last looks. One was called: +"Bear Up, for We Will Meet Again." The one that had went wrong was his +favourite look, named: "O Death, Where is Thy Victory?" + +Looey's aunt says she will buy him a partnership if she is satisfied he +can fill the town's needs. They have a talk with the Wilcoxes, and he +rides on the hearse that day fur a try-out. His aunt peeks out behind +her bedroom curtains as the percession goes by her house, and when she +sees the style Looey is giving to that funeral, and how easy it comes +to him, that settles it with her on the spot. And it seems the hull dern +town liked it, too, including the departed's fambly. + +Looey says they is a lot of chancet fur improvements in the undertaking +game by one whose heart is in his work, and he is going into that +business to make a success of it, and try and get all the funeral trade +fur miles around. He reads us an advertisement of the new firm he has +been figgering out fur that town's weekly paper. I cut a copy out when +it was printed, and it is about the genteelest thing like that I even +seen, as follers: + + +WILCOX AND SIMMS Invite Your Patronage + +This earth is but a fleeting show, and the blank-winged angels wait for +all. It is always a satisfaction to remember that all possible has been +done for the deceased. + + See Our New Line of Coffins + Lined Caskets a Specialty + Lodge Work Solicited + +Time and tide wait for no man, and his days are few and full of +troubles. The paths of glory lead but to the grave, and none can tell +when mortal feet may stumble. + +When in Town Drop in and Inspect Our New Embalming Outfit. It is a +Pleasure to Show Goods and Tools Even if Your Family Needs no Work Done +Just Yet + +Outfits for mourners who have been bereaved on short notice a specialty. +We take orders for tombstones. Look at our line of shrouds, robes, and +black suits for either sex and any age. Give us just one call, and you +will entrust future embalmings and obsequies in your family to no other +firm. + +WILCOX AND SIMMS Main Street, Near Depot + + +The doctor, he reads it over careful and says she orter drum up trade, +all right. Looey tells us that mebby, if he can get that town educated +up to it, he will put in a creamatory, where he will burn them, too, but +will go slow, fur that there sollum and beautiful way of returning ash +to ashes might make some prejudice in such a religious town. + +The last we seen of Looey was a couple of days later when we told him +good-bye in his shop. Old Mr. Wilcox was explaining to him the science +of them last looks he was so famous at when he was a younger man. Young +Mr. Wilcox was laying on a table fur Looey to practise on, and Looey was +learning fast. But he nearly broke down when he said good-bye, fur he +liked the doctor. + +"Doc," he says, "you've been a good friend, and I won't never forget +you. They ain't much I can do, and in this deceitful world words is less +than actions. But if you ever was to die within a hundred miles of me, +I'd go," he says, "and no other hands but mine should lay you out. And +it wouldn't cost you a cent, either. Nor you neither, Danny." + +We thanked him kindly fur the offer, and went. + +The next town we come to there was a county fair, and the doctor run +acrost an old pal of his'n who had a show on the grounds and wanted to +hire him fur what he called a ballyhoo man. Which was the first I ever +hearn them called that, but I got better acquainted with them since. +They are the fellers that stands out in front and gets you all excited +about the Siamese twins or the bearded lady or the snake-charmer or the +Circassian beauties or whatever it is inside the tent, as represented +upon the canvas. The doctor says he will do it fur a week, jest fur fun, +and mebby pick up another feller to take Looey's place out there. + +This feller's name is Watty Sanders, and his wife is a fat lady in his +own show and very good-natured when not intoxicated nor mad at Watty. She +was billed on the curtains outside fur five hundred and fifty pounds, +and Watty says she really does weigh nigh on to four hundred. But being +a fat lady's husband ain't no bed of rosy ease at that, Watty tells +the doctor. It's like every other trade--it has its own pertic'ler +responsibilities and troubles. She is a turrible expense to Watty on +account of eating so much. The tales that feller told of how hard he +has to hustle showing her off in order to support her appetite would of +drawed tears from a pawnbroker's sign, as Doctor Kirby says. Which he +found it cheaper fur his hull show to board and sleep in the tent, and +we done likewise. + +Well, I got a job with that show myself. Watty had a wild man canvas +but no wild man, so he made me an offer and I took him up. I was from +Borneo, where they're all supposed to be captured. Jest as Doctor Kirby +would get to his talk about how the wild man had been ketched after +great struggle and expense, with four men killed and another crippled, +there would be an awful rumpus on the inside of the tent, with wild +howlings and the sound of revolvers shot off and a woman screaming. Then +I would come busting out all blacked up from head to heel with no more +clothes on than the law pervided fur, yipping loud and shaking a big +spear and rolling my eyes, and Watty would come rushing after me firing +his revolver. I would make fur the doctor and draw my spear back to jab +it clean through him, and Watty would grab my arm. And the doctor would +whirl round and they would wrastle me to the ground and I would be +handcuffed and dragged back into the tent, still howling and struggling +to break loose. On the inside my part of the show was to be wild in a +cage. I would be chained to the floor, and every now and then I would +get wilder and rattle my chains and shake the bars and make jumps at the +crowd and carry on, and make believe I was too mad to eat the pieces of +raw meat Watty throwed into the cage. + +Watty had a snake-charmer woman, with an awful long, bony kind of neck, +working fur him, and another feller that was her husband and eat glass. +The show opened up with them two doing what they said was a comic turn. +Then the fat lady come on. Whilst everybody was admiring her size, and +looking at the number of pounds on them big cheat scales Watty weighed +her on, the long-necked one would be changing to her snake clothes. +Which she only had one snake, and he had been in the business so long, +and was so kind of worn out and tired with being charmed so much, it +always seemed like a pity to me the way she would take and twist him +around. I guess they never was a snake was worked harder fur the little +bit he got to eat, nor got no sicker of a woman's society than poor old +Reginald did. After Reginald had been charmed a while, it would be the +glass eater's turn. Which he really eat it, and the doctor says that +kind always dies before they is fifty. I never knowed his right name, +but what he went by was The Human Ostrich. + +Watty's wife was awful jealous of Mrs. Ostrich, fur she got the idea +she was carrying on with Watty. One night I hearn an argument from the +fenced-off part of the tent Watty and his wife slept in. She was setting +on Watty's chest and he was gasping fur mercy. + +"You know it ain't true," says Watty, kind of smothered-like. + +"It is," says she, "you own up it is!" And she give him a jounce. + +"No, darling," he gets out of him, "you know I never could bear them +thin, scrawny kind of women." And he begins to call her pet names of +all kinds and beg her please, if she won't get off complete, to set +somewheres else a minute, fur his chest he can feel giving way, and his +ribs caving in. He called her his plump little woman three or four +times and she must of softened up some, fur she moved and his voice come +stronger, but not less meek and lowly. And he follers it up: + +"Dolly, darling," he says, "I bet I know something my little woman don't +know." + +"What is it?" the fat lady asts him. + +"You don't know what a cruel, weak stomach your hubby has got," Watty +says, awful coaxing like, "or you wouldn't bear down quite so hard onto +it--please, Dolly!" + +She begins to blubber and say he is making fun of her big size, and if +he is mean to her any more or ever looks at another woman agin she will +take anti-fat and fade away to nothing and ruin his show, and it is +awful hard to be made a joke of all her life and not have no steady home +nor nothing like other women does. + +"You know I worship every pound of you, little woman," says Watty, +still coaxing. "Why can't you trust me? You know, Dolly, darling, I +wouldn't take your weight in gold for you." And he tells her they never +was but once in all his life he has so much as turned his head to look +at another woman, and that was by way of a plutonic admiration, and no +flirting intended, he says. And even then it was before he had met his +own little woman. And that other woman, he says, was plump too, fur he +wouldn't never look at none but a plump woman. + +"What did she weigh?" asts Watty's wife. He tells her a measly little +three hundred pound. + +"But she wasn't refined like my little woman," says Watty, "and when I +seen that I passed her up." And inch by inch Watty coaxed her clean off +of him. + +But the next day she hearn him and Mrs. Ostrich giggling about +something, and she has a reg'lar tantrum, and jest fur meanness goes out +and falls down on the race track, pertending she has fainted, and they +can't move her no ways, not even roll her. But finally they rousted her +out of that by one of these here sprinkling carts backing up agin her +and turning loose. + +But aside from them occasional mean streaks Dolly was real nice, and I +kind of got to liking her. She tells me that because she is so fat no +one won't take her serious like a human being, and she wisht she was +like other women and had a fambly. That woman wanted a baby, too, and I +bet she would of been good to it, fur she was awful good to animals. She +had been big from a little girl, and never got no sympathy when sick, +nor nothing, and even whilst she played with dolls as a kid she knowed +she looked ridiculous, and was laughed at. And by jings!--they was +the funniest thing come to light before we left that crowd. That poor, +derned, old, fat fool HAD a doll yet, all hid away, and when she was +alone she used to take it out and cuddle it. Well, Dolly never had many +friends, and you couldn't blame her much if she did drink a little too +much now and then, or get mad at Watty fur his goings-on and kneel down +on him whilst he was asleep. Them was her only faults and I liked the +old girl. Yet I could see Watty had his troubles too. + +That show busted up before the fair closed. Fur one day Watty's wife +gets mad at Mrs. Ostrich and tries to set on her. And then Mrs. Ostrich +gets mad too, and sicks Reginald onto her. Watty's wife is awful scared +of Reginald, who don't really have ambition enough to bite no one, let +alone a lady built so round everywhere he couldn't of got a grip on her. +And as fur as wrapping himself around her and squashing her to death, +Reginald never seen the day he could reach that fur. Reginald's feelings +is plumb friendly toward Dolly when he is turned loose, but she don't +know that, and she has some hysterics and faints in earnest this time. +Well, they was an awful hullaballo when she come to, and fur the sake of +peace in the fambly Watty has to fire Mr. and Mrs. Ostrich and poor old +Reginald out of their jobs, and the show is busted. So Doctor Kirby and +me lit out fur other parts agin. + + + + + +CHAPTER IX + + +We was jogging along one afternoon not fur from a good-sized town at the +top of Ohio, right on the lake, when we run acrost some remainders of +a busted circus riding in a stake and chain wagon. They was two +fellers--both jugglers, acrobats, and tumblers--and a balloon. The +circus had busted without paying them nothing but promises fur months +and months, and they had took the team and wagon and balloon by +attachment, they said. They was carting her from the little burg the +show busted in to that good-sized town on the lake. They would sell the +team and wagon there and get money enough to put an advertisement in +the Billboard, which is like a Bible to them showmen, that they had a +balloon to sell and was at liberty. + +One of them was the slimmest, lightest-footed, quickest feller you ever +seen, with a big nose and dark complected, and his name was Tobias. The +other was heavier and blonde complected. His name was Dobbs, he said, +and they was the Blanchet Brothers. Doctor Kirby and them got real well +acquainted in about three minutes. We drove on ahead and got into the +town first. + +The doctor says that balloon is jest wasted on them fellers. They can't +go up in her, not knowing that trade, but still they ought to be some +way fur them to make a little stake out of it before it was sold. + +The next evening we run acrost them fellers on the street, and they was +feeling purty blue. They hadn't been able to sell that team and wagon, +which it was eating its meals reg'lar in a livery stable, and they had +been doing stunts in the street that day and passing around the hat, but +not getting enough fur to pay expenses. + +"Where's the balloon?" asts the doctor. And I seen he was sicking his +intellects onto the job of making her pay. + +"In the livery stable with the wagon," they tells him. + +He says he is going to figger out a way to help them boys. They is like +all circus performers, he says--they jest knows their own acts, and +talks about 'em all the time, and studies up ways to make 'em better, +and has got no more idea of business outside of that than a rabbit. We +all went to the livery stable and overhauled that balloon. It was an +awful job, too. But they wasn't a rip in her, and the parachute was jest +as good as new. + +"There's no reason why we can't give a show of our own," says Doctor +Kirby, "with you boys and Danny and me and that balloon. What we want +is a lot with a high board fence around it, like a baseball grounds, +and the chance to tap a gas main." He says he'll be willing to take a +chancet on it, even paying the gas company real money to fill her up. + +What the Doctor didn't know about starting shows wasn't worth knowing. +He had even went in for the real drama in his younger days now and then. + +"One of my theatrical productions came very near succeeding, too," he +says. + +It was a play he says, in which the hero falls in love with a pair of +Siamese twins and commits suicide because he can't make a choice between +them. + +"We played it as comedy in the big towns and tragedy in the little +ones," he says. "But like a fool I booked it for two weeks of +middle-sized towns and it broke us." + +The next day he finds a lot that will do jest fine. It has been used fur +a school playgrounds, but the school has been moved and the old building +is to be tore down. He hired the place cheap. And he goes and talks the +gas company into giving him credit to fill that balloon. Which I kept +wondering what was the use of filling her, fur none of the four of +us had ever went up in one. And when I seen the handbills he had had +printed I wondered all the more. They read as follers: + + +Kirby's Komedy Kompany and Open Air Circus + +Presenting a Peerless Personnel of Artistic Attractions + +Greatest in the Galaxy of Gaiety, is + +Hartley L. Kirby + +Monologuist and minstrel, dancer and vaudevillian in his terpsichorean +travesties, buoyant burlesques, inimitable imitations, screaming +impersonations, refined comedy sketches and popular song hits of the +day. + + +The Blanchet Brothers + +Daring, Dazzling, Danger-Loving, Death-Defying Demons + +Joyous jugglers, acrobatic artists, constrictorial contortionists, +exquisite equilibrists, in their marvellous, mysterious, unparalleled +performances. + + +Umslopogus The Patagonian Chieftain + +The lowest type of human intellect + +This formerly ferocious fiend has so far succumbed to the softer wiles +of civilization that he is no longer a cannibal, and it is now safe to +put him on exhibition. But to prevent accidents he is heavily manacled, +and the public is warned not to come too near. + + + Balloon! Balloon!! Balloon!!! + + The management also presents the balloon of + + Prof. Alonzo Ackerman The Famous Aeronaut + + in which he has made his + + Wonderful Ascension and Parachute Drop + + many times, reaching remarkable altitudes + + Balloon! Balloon!! Balloon!!! + + Saturday, 3 P. M. Old Vandegrift School Lot + + + Admission 50 Cents + + +Well, fur a writer he certainly laid over Looey, Doctor Kirby did--more +cheerful-like, you might say. I seen right off I was to be the +Patagonian Chieftain. I was getting more and more of an actor right +along--first an Injun, then a wild Borneo, and now a Patagonian. + +"But who is this Alonzo Ackerman?" I asts him. + +"Celebrated balloonist," says he, "and the man that invented parachutes. +They eat out of his hand." + +"Where is he?" asts I. + +"How should I know?" he says. + +"How is he going up, then?" I asts. + +The doctor chuckles and says it is a good bill, a better bill than he +thought; that it is getting in its work already. He says to me to read +it careful and see if it says Alonzo Ackerman is going up. Well, it +don't. But any one would of thought so the first look. I reckon that +bill was some of a liar herself, not lying outright, but jest hinting a +lie. They is a lot of mean, stingy-souled kind of people wouldn't never +lie to help a friend, but Doctor Kirby wasn't one of 'em. + +"But," I says, "when that crowd finds out Alonzo ain't going up they +will be purty mad." + +"Oh," says he, "I don't think so. The American public are a good-natured +set of chuckle-heads, mostly. If they get sore I'll talk 'em out of it." + +If he had any faults at all--and mind you, I ain't saying Doctor Kirby +had any--the one he had hardest was the belief he could talk any crowd +into any notion, or out of it, either. And he loved to do it jest fur +the fun of it. He'd rather have the feeling he was doing that than the +money any day. He was powerful vain about that gab of his'n, Doctor +Kirby was. + +The four of us took around about five thousand bills. The doctor says +they is nothing like giving yourself a chancet. And Saturday morning we +got the balloon filled up so she showed handsome, tugging away there at +her ropes. But we had a dern mean time with that balloon, too. + +The doctor says if we have good luck there may be as many as three, four +hundred people. + +But Jerusalem! They was two, three times that many. By the time the +show started I reckon they was nigh a thousand there. The doctor and +the Blanchet Brothers was tickled. When they quit coming fast the doctor +left the gate and made a little speech, telling all about the wonderful +show, and the great expense it was to get it together, and all that. + +They was a rope stretched between the crowd and us. Back of that was the +Blanchet Brothers' wagon and our wagon, and our little tent. I was jest +inside the tent with chains on. Back of everything else was the balloon. + +Well, the doctor he done a lot of songs and things as advertised. Then +the Blanchet Brothers done some of their acts. They was really fine +acts, too. Then come some more of Doctor Kirby's refined comedy, as +advertised. Next, more Blanchet. Then a lecture about me by the doctor. +All in all it takes up about an hour and a half. Then the doctor makes +a mighty nice little talk, and wishes them all good afternoon, thanking +them fur their kind intentions and liberal patronage, one and all. + +"But when will the balloon go up?" asts half a dozen at oncet. + +"The balloon?" asts Doctor Kirby, surprised. + +"Balloon! Balloon!" yells a kid. And the hull crowd took it up and +yelled: "Balloon! Balloon! Balloon!" And they crowded up closte to that +rope. + +Doctor Kirby has been getting off the wagon, but he gets back on her, +and stretches his arms wide, and motions of 'em all to come close. + +"Ladies and gentlemen," he says, "please to gather near--up here, +good people--and listen! Listen to what I have to say--harken to the +utterings of my voice! There has been a misunderstanding here! There has +been a misconstruction! There has been, ladies and gentlemen, a woeful +lack of comprehension here!" + +It looked to me like they was beginning to understand more than he meant +them to. I was wondering how it would all come out, but he never lost +his nerve. + +"Listen," he says, very earnest, "listen to me. Somehow the idea seems +to have gone forth that there would be a balloon ascension here this +afternoon. How, I do not know, for what we advertised, ladies and +gentlemen, was that the balloon used by Prof. Alonzo Ackerman, the +illustrious aeronaut, would be UPON EXHIBITION. And there she is, ladies +and gentlemen, there she is, for every eye to see and gladden with the +sight of--right before you, ladies and gentlemen--the balloon of Alonzo +Ackerman, the wonderful voyager of the air, exactly as represented. +During their long career Kirby and Company have never deceived the +public. Others may, but Kirby and Company are like Caesar's wife--Kirby +and Company are above suspicion. It is the province of Kirby's Komedy +Kompany, ladies and gentlemen, to spread the glad tidings of innocent +amusement throughout the length and breadth of this fair land of ours. +And there she is before you, the balloon as advertised, the gallant ship +of the air in which the illustrious Ackerman made so many voyages before +he sailed at last into the Great Beyond! You can see her, ladies and +gentlemen, straining at her cords, anxious to mount into the heavens +and be gone! It is an education in itself, ladies and gentlemen, a moral +education, and well worth coming miles to see. Think of it--think of +it--the Ackerman balloon--and then think that the illustrious Ackerman +himself--he was my personal friend, ladies and gentlemen, and a true +friend sticketh closer than a brother--the illustrious Ackerman is dead. +The balloon, ladies and gentlemen, is there, but Ackerman is gone to his +reward. Look at that balloon, ladies and gentlemen, and tell me if you +can, why should the spirit of mortals be proud? For the man that rode +her like a master and tamed her like she was a dove lies cold and dead +in a western graveyard, ladies and gentlemen, and she is here, a useless +and an idle vanity without the mind that made her go!" + +Well, he went on and he told a funny story about Alonzo, which I don't +believe they ever was no Alonzo Ackerman, and a lot of 'em laughed; +and he told a pitiful story, and they got sollum agin, and then another +funny story. Well, he had 'em listening, and purty soon most of the +crowd is feeling in a good humour toward him, and one feller yells out: + +"Go it--you're a hull show yourself!" And some joshes him, but they +don't seem to be no trouble in the air. When they all look to be in a +good humour he holds up a bill and asts how many has them. Many has. He +says that is well, and then he starts to telling another story. But +in the middle of the story that hull dern crowd is took with a fit of +laughing. They has looked at the bill closet, and seen they is sold, and +is taking it good-natured. And still shouting and laughing most of them +begins to start along off. And I thought all chancet of trouble was over +with. But it wasn't. + +Fur they is always a natcheral born kicker everywhere, and they was one +here, too. + +He was a lean feller with a sticking out jaw, and one of his eyes was in +a kind of a black pocket, and he was jest natcherally laying it off to +about a dozen fellers that was in a little knot around him. + +The doctor sees the main part of the crowd going and climbs down off'n +the wagon. As he does so that hull bunch of about a dozen moves in under +the rope, and some more that was going out seen it, and stopped and come +back. + +"Perfessor," says the man with the patch over his eye to Doctor Kirby, +"you say this man Ackerman is dead?" + +"Yes," says the doctor, eying him over, "he's dead." + +"How did he die?" asts the feller. + +"He died hard, I understand," says the doctor, careless-like. + +"Fell out of his balloon?" + +"Yes." + +"This aeronaut trade is a dangerous trade, I hear," says the feller with +the patch on his eye. + +"They say so," says Doctor Kirby, easy-like. + +"Was you ever an aeronaut yourself?" asts the feller. + +"No," says the doctor. + +"Never been up in a balloon?" + +"No." + +"Well, you're going up in one this afternoon!" + +"What do you mean?" asts Doctor Kirby. + +"We've come out to see a balloon ascension--and we're going to see it, +too." + +And with that the hull crowd made a rush at the doctor. + +Well, I been in fights before that, and I been in fights since then. But +I never been in no harder one. The doctor and the two Blanchet brothers +and me managed to get backed up agin the fence in a row when the rush +come. I guess I done my share, and I guess the Blanchet brothers done +theirn, too. But they was too many of 'em for us--too dern many. It +wouldn't of ended as quick as it did if Doctor Kirby hadn't gone clean +crazy. His back was to the fence, and he cleaned out everything in front +of him, and then he give a wild roar jest like a bull and rushed that +hull gang--twenty men, they was--with his head down. He caught two +fellers, one in each hand, and he cracked their heads together, and he +caught two more, and done the same. But he orter never took his back +away from that fence. The hull gang closed in on him, and down he went +at the bottom of a pile. I was awful busy myself, but I seen that pile +moving and churning. Then I made a big mistake myself. I kicked a feller +in the stomach, and another feller caught my leg, and down I went. Fur +a half a minute I never knowed nothing. And when I come to I was all +mashed about the face, and two fellers was sitting on me. + +The crowd was tying Doctor Kirby to that parachute. They straddled +legs over the parachute bar, and tied his feet below it. He was still +fighting, but they was too many fur him. They left his arms untied, but +they held 'em, and then-- + +Then they cut her loose. She went up like she was shot from a gun, and +as she did Doctor Kirby took a grip on a feller's arm that hadn't let +loose quick enough and lifted him plumb off'n the ground. He slewed +around on the trapeze bar with the feller's weight, and slipped head +downward. And as he slipped he give that feller a swing and let loose +of him, and then ketched himself by the crook of one knee. The feller +turned over twicet in the air and landed in a little crumpled-up pile on +the ground, and never made a sound. + +The fellers that had holt of me forgot me and stood up, and I stood up +too, and looked. The balloon was rising fast. Doctor Kirby was trying to +pull himself up to the trapeze bar, twisting and squirming and having +a hard time of it, and shooting higher every second. I reckoned he +couldn't fall complete, fur where his feet was tied would likely hold +even if his knee come straight--but he would die mebby with his head +filling up with blood. But finally he made a squirm and raised himself a +lot and grabbed the rope at one side of the bar. And then he reached and +got the rope on the other side, and set straddle of her. And jest as he +done that the wind ketched the balloon good and hard, and she turned out +toward Lake Erie. It was too late fur him to pull the rope that sets the +parachute loose then, and drop onto the land. + +I rushed out of that schoolhouse yard and down the street toward the +lake front, and run, stumbling along and looking up. She was getting +smaller every minute. And with my head in the air looking up I was +running plumb to the edge of the water before I knowed it. + +She was away out over the lake now, and awful high, and going fast +before the wind, and the doctor was only a speck. And as I stared at +that speck away up in the sky I thought this was a mean world to live +in. Fur there was the only real friend I ever had, and no way fur me to +help him. He had learnt me to read, and bought me good clothes, and made +me know they was things in the world worth travelling around to see, and +made me feel like I was something more than jest Old Hank Walters's dog. +And I guessed he would be drownded and I would never see him agin now. +And all of a sudden something busted loose inside of me, and I sunk +down there at the edge of the water, sick at my stomach, and weak and +shivering. + + + + + +CHAPTER X + + +I didn't exactly faint there, but things got all mixed fur me, and when +they was straightened out agin I was in a hospital. It seems I had +been considerable stepped on in that fight, and three ribs was broke. I +knowed I was hurting, but I was so interested in what was happening to +the doctor the hull hurt never come to me till the balloon was way out +over the lake. + +But now I was in a plaster cast, and before I got out of that I was in a +fever. I was some weeks getting out of there. + +I tried to get some word of Doctor Kirby, but couldn't. Nothing had been +heard of him or the balloon. The newspapers had had stuff about it fur a +day or two, and they guessed the body might come to light sometime. But +that was all. And I didn't know where to hunt nor how. + +The hosses and wagon and tent and things worried me some, too. They +wasn't mine, and so I couldn't sell 'em. And they wasn't no good to me +without Doctor Kirby. So I tells the man that owns the livery stable to +use the team fur its board and keep it till Doctor Kirby calls fur it, +and if he never does mebby I will sometime. + +I didn't want to stay in that town or I could of got a job in the livery +stable. They offered me one, but I hated that town. I wanted to light +out. I didn't much care where to. + +Them Blanchet Brothers had left a good share of the money we took in +at the balloon ascension with the hospital people fur me before they +cleared out. But before I left that there town I seen they was one thing +I had to do to make myself easy in my mind. So I done her. + +That was to hunt up that feller with his eye in the patch. It took me +a week to find him. He lived down near some railroad yards. I might of +soaked him with a coupling link and felt a hull lot better. But I didn't +guess it would do to pet and pamper my feelings too much. So I does it +with my fists in a quiet place, and does it very complete, and leaves +that town in a cattle car, feeling a hull lot more contented in my mind. + +Then they was a hull dern year I didn't stay nowhere very long, nor +work at any one job too long, neither. I jest worked from place to place +seeing things--big towns and rivers and mountains. Working here and +there, and loafing and riding blind baggages and freight trains between +jobs, I covered a lot of ground that year, and made some purty big +jumps, and got acquainted with some awful queer folks, first and last. + +But the worst of that is lots of people gets to thinking I am a hobo. +Even one or two judges in police courts I got acquainted with had that +there idea of me. I always explains that I am not one, and am jest +travelling around to see things, and working when I feels like it, and +ain't no bum. But frequent I am not believed. And two, three different +times I gets to the place where I couldn't hardly of told myself from a +hobo, if I hadn't of knowed I wasn't one. + +I got right well acquainted with some of them hobos, too. As fur as I +can see, they is as much difference in them as in other humans. Some +travels because they likes to see things, and some because they hates to +work, and some because they is in the habit and can't stop it. Well, I +know myself it's purty hard after while to stop it, fur where would you +stop at? What excuse is they to stop one place more'n another? I met all +kinds of 'em, and oncet I got in fur a week with a couple of real Johnny +Yeggs that is both in the pen now. I hearn a feller say one time there +is some good in every man. I went the same way as them two yeggmen a +hull dern week to try and find out where the good in 'em was. I guess +they must be some mistake somewheres, fur I looked hard and I watched +closet and I never found it. They is many kinds of hobos and tramps, +perfessional and amachure, and lots of kinds of bums, and lots of young +fellers working their way around to see things, like I was, and lots of +working men in hard luck going from place to place, and all them kinds +is humans. But the real yeggman ain't even a dog. + +And oncet I went all the way from Chicago to Baltimore with a serious, +dern fool that said he was a soshyologest, whatever them is, and was +going to put her all into a book about the criminal classes. He worked +hard trying to get at the reason I was a hobo. Which they wasn't no +reason, fur I wasn't no hobo. But I didn't want to disappoint that +feller and spoil his book fur him. So I tells him things. Things not +overly truthful, but very full of crime. About a year afterward I was +into one of these here Andrew Carnegie lib'aries with the names of the +old-time presidents all chiselled along the top and I seen the hull +dern thing in print. He said of me the same thing I have said about them +yeggmen. If all he met joshed that feller the same as me, that book must +of been what you might call misleading in spots. + +One morning I woke up in a good-sized town in Illinoise, not a hundred +miles from where I was raised, without no money, and my clothes not much +to look at, and no job. I had been with a railroad show fur about two +weeks, driving stakes and other rough work, and it had went off and left +me sleeping on the ground. Circuses never waits fur nothing nor cares a +dern fur no one. I tried all day around town fur to get some kind of a +job. But I was looking purty rough and I couldn't land nothing. Along in +the afternoon I was awful hungry. + +I was feeling purty low down to have to ast fur a meal, but finally I +done it. + +I dunno how I ever come to pick out such a swell-looking house, but I +makes a little talk at the back door and the Irish girl she says, "Come +in," and into the kitchen I goes. + +"It's Minnesota you're working toward?" asts she, pouring me out a cup +of coffee. + +She is thinking of the wheat harvest where they is thousands makes fur +every fall. But none of 'em fur me. That there country is full of them +Scandiluvian Swedes and Norwegians, and they gets into the field before +daylight and stays there so long the hired man's got to milk the cows by +moonlight. + +"I been acrost the river into I'way," I says, "a-working at my trade, +and now I'm going back to Chicago to work at it some more." + +"What might your trade be?" she asts, sizing me up careful; and I thinks +I'll hand her one to chew on she ain't never hearn tell of before. + +"I'm a agnostic by trade," I says. I spotted that there word in a +religious book one time, and that's the first chancet I ever has to try +it on any one. You can't never tell what them reg'lar sockdologers is +going to do till you tries them. + +"I see," says she. But I seen she didn't see. And I didn't help her +none. She would of ruther died than to let on she didn't see. The Irish +is like that. Purty soon she says: + +"Ain't that the dangerous kind o' work, though!" + +"It is," I says. And says nothing further. + +She sets down and folds her arms, like she was thinking of it, watching +my hands closet all the time I was eating, like she's looking fur scars +where something slipped when I done that agnostic work. Purty soon she +says: + +"Me brother Michael was kilt at it in the old country. He was the most +vinturesome lad of thim all!" + +"Did it fly up and hit him?" I asts her. I was wondering w'ether she is +making fun of me or am I making fun of her. Them Irish is like that, you +can never tell which. + +"No," says she, "he fell off of it. And I'm thinking you don't know what +it is yourself." And the next thing I know I'm eased out o' the back +door and she's grinning at me scornful through the crack of it. + +So I was walking slow around toward the front of the house thinking how +the Irish was a great nation, and what shall I do now, anyhow? And I +says to myself: "Danny, you was a fool to let that circus walk off and +leave you asleep in this here town with nothing over you but a barbed +wire fence this morning. Fur what ARE you going to do next? First thing +you know, you WILL be a reg'lar tramp, which some folks can't be made +to see you ain't now." And jest when I was thinking that, a feller comes +down the front steps of that house on the jump and nabs me by the coat +collar. + +"Did you come out of this house?" he asts. + +"I did," I says, wondering what next. + +"Back in you go, then," he says, marching me forward toward them front +steps, "they've got smallpox in there." + +I like to of jumped loose when he says that. + +"Smallpox ain't no inducement to me, mister," I tells him. But he +twisted my coat collar tight and dug his thumbs into my neck, all the +time helping me onward with his knee from behind, and I seen they wasn't +no use pulling back. I could probable of licked that man, but they's no +system in mixing up with them well-dressed men in towns where they think +you are a tramp. The judge will give you the worst of it. + +He rung the door bell and the girl that opened the door she looked kind +o' surprised when she seen me, and in we went. + +"Tell Professor Booth that Doctor Wilkins wants to see him again," +says the man a-holt o' me, not letting loose none. And we says nothing +further till the perfessor comes, which he does, slow and absent-minded. +When he seen me he took off his glasses so's he could see me better, and +he says: + +"What is that you have there, Doctor Wilkins?" + +"A guest for you," says Doctor Wilkins, grinning all over hisself. "I +found him leaving your house. And you being under quarantine, and me +being secretary to the board of health, and the city pest-house being +crowded too full already, I'll have to ask you to keep him here till +we get Miss Margery onto her feet again," he says. Or they was words to +that effect, as the lawyers asts you. + +"Dear me," says Perfesser Booth, kind o' helpless like. And he +comes over closet to me and looks me all over like I was one of them +amphimissourian lizards in a free museum. And then he goes to the foot +of the stairs and sings out in a voice that was so bleached-out and +flat-chested it would of looked jest like him himself if you could of +saw it--"Estelle," he sings out, "oh, Estelle!" + +Estelle, she come down stairs looking like she was the perfessor's big +brother. I found out later she was his old maid sister. She wasn't no +spring chicken, Estelle wasn't, and they was a continuous grin on her +face. I figgered it must of froze there years and years ago. They was +a kid about ten or eleven years old come along down with her, that had +hair down to its shoulders and didn't look like it knowed whether it was +a girl or a boy. Miss Estelle, she looks me over in a way that makes me +shiver, while the doctor and the perfessor jaws about whose fault it is +the smallpox sign ain't been hung out. And when she was done listening +she says to the perfessor: "You had better go back to your laboratory." +And the perfessor he went along out, and the doctor with him. + +"What are you going to do with him, Aunt Estelle?" the kid asts her. + +"What would YOU suggest, William, Dear?" asts his aunt. I ain't feeling +very comfortable, and I was getting all ready jest to natcherally bolt +out the front door now the doctor was gone. Then I thinks it mightn't be +no bad place to stay in fur a couple o' days, even risking the smallpox. +Fur I had riccolected I couldn't ketch it nohow, having been vaccinated +a few months before in Terry Hutt by compulsive medical advice, me being +fur a while doing some work on the city pavements through a mistake +about me in the police court. + +William Dear looks at me like it was the day of judgment and his job was +to keep the fatted calves separate from the goats and prodigals, and he +says: + +"If I were you, Aunt Estelle, the first thing would be to get his hair +cut and his face washed and then get him some clothes." + +"William Dear is my friend," thinks I. + +She calls James, which was a butler. James, he buttles me into a +bathroom the like o' which I never seen afore, and then he buttles me +into a suit o' somebody's clothes and into a room at the top o' the +house next to his'n, and then he comes back and buttles a comb and brush +at me. James was the most mournful-looking fat man I ever seen, and he +says that account of me not being respectable I will have my meals alone +in the kitchen after the servants has eat. + +The first thing I knowed I been in that house more'n a week. I eat and I +slept and I smoked and I kind of enjoyed not worrying about things fur +a while. The only oncomfortable thing about being the perfessor's guest +was Miss Estelle. Soon's she found out I was a agnostic she took charge +o' my intellectuals and what went into 'em, and she makes me read things +and asts me about 'em, and she says she is going fur to reform me. And +whatever brand o' disgrace them there agnostics really is I ain't found +out to this day, having come acrost the word accidental. + +Biddy Malone, which was the kitchen mechanic, she says the perfessor's +wife's been over to her mother's while this smallpox has been going on, +and they is a nurse in the house looking after Miss Margery, the little +kid that's sick. And Biddy, she says if she was Mrs. Booth she'd stay +there, too. They's been some talk, anyhow, about Mrs. Booth and a +musician feller around that there town. But Biddy, she likes Mrs. Booth, +and even if it was true, which it ain't Biddy says, who could of blamed +her? Fur things ain't joyous around that house the last year, since Miss +Estelle's come there to live. The perfessor, he's so full of scientifics +he don't know nothing with no sense to it, Biddy says. He's got more +money'n you can shake a stick at, and he don't have to do no work, nor +never has, and his scientifics gets worse and worse every year. But +while scientifics is worrying to the nerves of a fambly, and while his +labertory often makes the house smell like a sick drug store has crawled +into it and died there, they wouldn't of been no serious row on between +the perfessor and his wife, not ALL the time, if it hadn't of been fur +Miss Estelle. She has jest natcherally made herself boss of that there +house, Biddy says, and she's a she-devil. Between all them scientifics +and Miss Estelle things has got where Mrs. Booth can't stand 'em much +longer. + +I didn't blame her none fur getting sore on her job, neither. You +can't expect a woman that's purty, and knows it, and ain't no more'n +thirty-two or three, and don't look it, to be serious intrusted in +mummies and pickled snakes and chemical perfusions, not ALL the time. +Mebby when Mrs. Booth would ast him if he was going to take her to the +opery that night the perfessor would look up in an absent-minded sort +of way and ast her did she know them Germans had invented a new germ? It +wouldn't of been so bad if the perfessor had picked out jest one brand +of scientifics and stuck to that reg'lar. Mrs. Booth could of got use to +any ONE kind. But mebby this week the perfessor would be took hard with +ornithography and he'd go chasing humming-birds all over the front yard, +and the next he'd be putting gastronomy into William's breakfast feed. + +They was always a row on over them kids, which they hadn't been till +Miss Estelle come. Mrs. Booth, she said they could kill their own +selves, if they wanted to, him and Miss Estelle, but she had more +right than any one else to say what went into William's and Margery's +digestive ornaments, and she didn't want 'em brung up scientific nohow, +but jest human. But Miss Estelle's got so she runs that hull house +now, and the perfessor too, but he don't know it, Biddy says, and her +a-saying every now and then it was too bad Frederick couldn't of married +a noble woman who would of took a serious intrust in his work. The kids +don't hardly dare to kiss their ma in front of Miss Estelle no more, on +account of germs and things. And with Miss Estelle taking care of their +religious organs and their intellectuals and the things like that, and +the perfessor filling them up on new invented feeds, I guess they never +was two kids got more education to the square inch, outside and in. It +hadn't worked none on Miss Margery yet, her being younger, but William +Dear he took it hard and serious, and it made bumps all over his head, +and he was kind o' pale and spindly. Every time that kid cut his finger +he jest natcherally bled scientifics. One day I says to Miss Estelle, +says I: + +"It looks to me like William Dear is kind of peaked." She looks worried +and she looks mad fur me lipping in, and then she says mebby it is true, +but she don't see why, because he is being brung up like he orter be in +every way and no expense nor trouble spared. + +"Well," says I, "what a kid about that size wants to do is to get out +and roll around in the dirt some, and yell and holler." + +She sniffs like I wasn't worth taking no notice of. But it kind o' +soaked in, too. She and the perfessor must of talked it over. Fur the +next day I seen her spreading a oilcloth on the hall floor. And then +James comes a buttling in with a lot of sand what the perfessor has +baked and made all scientific down in his labertory. James, he pours all +that nice, clean dirt onto the oilcloth and then Miss Estelle sends fur +William Dear. + +"William Dear," she says, "we have decided, your papa and I, that what +you need is more romping around and playing along with your studies. You +ought to get closer to the soil and to nature, as is more healthy for +a youth of your age. So for an hour each day, between your studies, you +will romp and play in this sand. You may begin to frolic now, William +Dear, and then James will sweep up the dirt again for to-morrow's +frolic." + +But William didn't frolic none. He jest looked at that dirt in a sad +kind o' way, and he says very serious but very decided: + +"Aunt Estelle, I shall NOT frolic." And they had to let it go at that, +fur he never would frolic none, neither. And all that nice clean dirt +was throwed out in the back yard along with the unscientific dirt. + + + + + +CHAPTER XI + + +One night when I've been there more'n a week, and am getting kind o' +tired staying in one place so long, I don't want to go to bed after I +eats, and I gets a-holt of some of the perfessor's cigars and goes +into the lib'ary to see if he's got anything fit to read. Setting there +thinking of the awful remarkable people they is in this world I must of +went to sleep. Purty soon, in my sleep, I hearn two voices. Then I waked +up sudden, and still hearn 'em, low and quicklike, in the room that +opens right off of the lib'ary with a couple of them sliding doors like +is onto a box car. One voice was a woman's voice, and it wasn't Miss +Estelle's. + +"But I MUST see them before we go, Henry," she says. + +And the other was a man's voice and it wasn't no one around our house. + +"But, my God," he says, "suppose you get it yourself, Jane!" + +I set up straight then, fur Jane was the perfessor's wife's first name. + +"You mean suppose YOU get it," she says. I like to of seen the look she +must of give him to fit in with the way she says that YOU. He didn't say +nothing, the man didn't; and then her voice softens down some, and +she says, low and slow: "Henry, wouldn't you love me if I DID get it? +Suppose it marked and pitted me all up?" + +"Oh, of course," he says, "of course I would. Nothing can change the way +I feel. YOU know that." He said it quick enough, all right, jest the way +they does in a show, but it sounded TOO MUCH like it does on the stage +to of suited me if _I_'D been her. I seen folks overdo them little talks +before this. + +I listens some more, and then I sees how it is. This is that musician +feller Biddy Malone's been talking about. Jane's going to run off with +him all right, but she's got to kiss the kids first. Women is like that. +They may hate the kids' pa all right, but they's dad-burned few of 'em +don't like the kids. I thinks to myself: "It must be late. I bet they +was already started, or ready to start, and she made him bring her here +first so's she could sneak in and see the kids. She jest simply couldn't +get by. But she's taking a fool risk, too. Fur how's she going to see +Margery with that nurse coming and going and hanging around all night? +And even if she tries jest to see William Dear it's a ten to one shot +he'll wake up and she'll be ketched at it." + +And then I thinks, suppose she IS ketched at it? What of it? Ain't a +woman got a right to come into her own house with her own door key, even +if they is a quarantine onto it, and see her kids? And if she is ketched +seeing them, how would any one know she was going to run off? And ain't +she got a right to have a friend of hern and her husband's bring her +over from her mother's house, even if it is a little late? + +Then I seen she wasn't taking no great risks neither, and I thinks mebby +I better go and tell that perfessor what is going on, fur he has treated +me purty white. And then I thinks: "I'll be gosh-derned if I meddle. +So fur as I can see that there perfessor ain't getting fur from what's +coming to him, nohow. And as fur HER, you got to let some people find +out what they want fur theirselves. Anyhow, where do _I_ come in at?" + +But I want to get a look at her and Henry, anyhow. So I eases off my +shoes, careful-like, and I eases acrost the floor to them sliding doors, +and I puts my eye down to the little crack. The talk is going backward +and forward between them two, him wanting her to come away quick, and +her undecided whether to risk seeing the kids. And all the time she's +kind o' hoping mebby she will be ketched if she tries to see the kids, +and she's begging off fur more time ginerally. + +Well, sir, I didn't blame that musician feller none when I seen her. She +was a peach. + +And I couldn't blame her so much, neither, when I thought of Miss +Estelle and all them scientifics of the perfessor's strung out fur years +and years world without end. + +Yet, when I seen the man, I sort o' wished she wouldn't. I seen right +off that Henry wouldn't do. It takes a man with a lot of gumption to +keep a woman feeling good and not sorry fur doing it when he's married +to her. But it takes a man with twicet as much to make her feel right +when they ain't married. This feller wears one of them little, brown, +pointed beards fur to hide where his chin ain't. And his eyes is too +much like a woman's. Which is the kind that gets the biggest piece of +pie at the lunch counter and fergits to thank the girl as cuts it big. +She was setting in front of a table, twisting her fingers together, and +he was walking up and down. I seen he was mad and trying not to show it, +and I seen he was scared of the smallpox and trying not to show that, +too. And jest about that time something happened that kind o' jolted me. + +They was one of them big chairs in the room where they was that has got +a high back and spins around on itself. It was right acrost from me, on +the other side of the room, and it was facing the front window, which +was a bow window. And that there chair begins to turn, slow and easy. +First I thought she wasn't turning. Then I seen she was. But Jane and +Henry didn't. They was all took up with each other in the middle of the +room, with their backs to it. + +Henry is a-begging of Jane, and she turns a little more, that chair +does. Will she squeak, I wonders? + +"Don't you be a fool, Jane," says the Henry feller. + +Around she comes three hull inches, that there chair, and nary a squeak. + +"A fool?" asts Jane, and laughs. "And I'm not a fool to think of going +with you at all, then?" + +That chair, she moved six inches more and I seen the calf of a leg and +part of a crumpled-up coat tail. + +"But I AM going with you, Henry," says Jane. And she gets up jest like +she is going to put her arms around him. + +But Jane don't. Fur that chair swings clear around and there sets the +perfessor. He's all hunched up and caved in and he's rubbing his eyes +like he's jest woke up recent, and he's got a grin onto his face that +makes him look like his sister Estelle looks all the time. + +"Excuse me," says the perfessor. + +They both swings around and faces him. I can hear my heart bumping. Jane +never says a word. The man with the brown beard never says a word. But +if they felt like me they both felt like laying right down there and +having a fit. They looks at him and he jest sets there and grins at +them. + +But after a while Jane, she says: + +"Well, now you KNOW! What are you going to do about it?" + +Henry, he starts to say something too. But-- + +"Don't start anything," says the perfessor to him. "YOU aren't going to +do anything." Or they was words to that effect. + +"Professor Booth," he says, seeing he has got to say something or else +Jane will think the worse of him, "I am--" + +"Keep still," says the perfessor, real quiet. "I'll tend to you in a +minute or two. YOU don't count for much. This thing is mostly between me +and my wife." + +When he talks so decided I thinks mebby that perfessor has got something +into him besides science after all. Jane, she looks kind o' surprised +herself. But she says nothing, except: + +"What are you going to do, Frederick?" And she laughs one of them mean +kind of laughs, and looks at Henry like she wanted him to spunk up a +little more, and says: "What CAN you do, Frederick?" + +Frederick, he says, not excited a bit: + +"There's quite a number of things I COULD do that would look bad when +they got into the newspapers. But it's none of them, unless one of you +forces me to it." Then he says: + +"You DID want to see the children, Jane?" + +She nodded. + +"Jane," he says, "can't you see I'm the better man?" + +The perfessor, he was woke up after all them years of scientifics, and +he didn't want to see her go. "Look at him," he says, pointing to the +feller with the brown beard, "he's scared stiff right now." + +Which I would of been scared myself if I'd a-been ketched that-a-way +like Henry was, and the perfessor's voice sounding like you was chopping +ice every time he spoke. I seen the perfessor didn't want to have no +blood on the carpet without he had to have it, but I seen he was making +up his mind about something, too. Jane, she says: + +"YOU a better man? YOU? You think you've been a model husband just +because you've never beaten me, don't you?" + +"No," says the perfessor, "I've been a blamed fool all right. I've been +a worse fool, maybe, than if I HAD beaten you." Then he turns to Henry +and he says: + +"Duels are out of fashion, aren't they? And a plain killing looks bad in +the papers, doesn't it? Well, you just wait for me." With which he gets +up and trots out, and I hearn him running down stairs to his labertory. + +Henry, he'd ruther go now. He don't want to wait. But with Jane +a-looking at him he's shamed not to wait. It's his place to make some +kind of a strong action now to show Jane he is a great man. But he don't +do it. And Jane is too much of a thoroughbred to show him she expects +it. And me, I'm getting the fidgets and wondering to myself, "What is +that there perfessor up to now? Whatever it is, it ain't like no one +else. He is looney, that perfessor is. And she is kind o' looney, too. +I wonder if they is any one that ain't looney sometimes?" I been +around the country a good 'eal, too, and seen and hearn of some awful +remarkable things, and I never seen no one that wasn't more or less +looney when the SEARCH US THE FEMM comes into the case. Which is a Dago +word I got out'n a newspaper and it means: "Who was the dead gent's lady +friend?" And we all set and sweat and got the fidgets waiting fur that +perfessor to come back. + +Which he done with that Sister Estelle grin onto his face and a pill box +in his hand. They was two pills in the box. He says, placid and chilly: + +"Yes, sir, duels are out of fashion. This is the age of science. All the +same, the one that gets her has got to fight for her. If she isn't worth +fighting for, she isn't worth having. Here are two pills. I made 'em +myself. One has enough poison in it to kill a regiment when it gets to +working well--which it does fifteen minutes after it is taken. The other +one has got nothing harmful in it. If you get the poison one, I keep +her. If I get it, you can have her. Only I hope you will wait long +enough after I'm dead so there won't be any scandal around town." + +Henry, he never said a word. He opened his mouth, but nothing come of +it. When he done that I thought I hearn his tongue scrape agin his cheek +on the inside like a piece of sand-paper. He was scared, Henry was. + +"But YOU know which is which," Jane sings out. "The thing's not fair!" + +"That is the reason my dear Jane is going to shuffle these pills around +each other herself," says the perfessor, "and then pick out one for him +and one for me. YOU don't know which is which, Jane. And as he is the +favourite, he is going to get the first chance. If he gets the one I +want him to get, he will have just fifteen minutes to live after taking +it. In that fifteen minutes he will please to walk so far from my house +that he won't die near it and make a scandal. I won't have a scandal +without I have to. Everything is going to be nice and quiet and +respectable. The effect of the poison is similar to heart failure. No +one can tell the difference on the corpse. There's going to be no blood +anywhere. I will be found dead in my house in the morning with heart +failure, or else he will be picked up dead in the street, far enough +away so as to make no talk." Or they was words to that effect. + +He is rubbing it in considerable, I thinks, that perfessor is. I wonder +if I better jump in and stop the hull thing. Then I thinks: "No, it's +between them three." Besides, I want to see which one is going to get +that there loaded pill. I always been intrusted in games of chancet of +all kinds, and when I seen the perfessor was such a sport, I'm sorry I +been misjudging him all this time. + +Jane, she looks at the box, and she breathes hard and quick. + +"I won't touch 'em," she says. "I refuse to be a party to any murder of +that kind." + +"Huh? You do?" says the perfessor. "But the time when you might have +refused has gone by. You have made yourself a party to it already. +You're really the MAIN party to it. + +"But do as you like," he goes on. "I'm giving him more chance than I +ought to with those pills. I might shoot him, and I would, and then face +the music, if it wasn't for mixing the children up in the scandal, Jane. +If you want to see him get a fair chance, Jane, you've got to hand out +these pills, one to him and then one to me. YOU must kill one or the +other of us, or else _I_'LL kill HIM the other way. And YOU had better +pick one out for him, because _I_ know which is which. Or else let him +pick one out for himself," he says. + +Henry, he wasn't saying nothing. I thought he had fainted. But he +hadn't. I seen him licking his lips. I bet Henry's mouth was all dry +inside. + +Jane, she took the box and she went round in front of Henry and she +looked at him hard. She looked at him like she was thinking: "Fur God's +sake, spunk up some, and take one if it DOES kill you!" Then she says +out loud: "Henry, if you die I will die, too!" + +And Henry, he took one. His hand shook, but he took it out'n the box. If +she had of looked like that at me mebby I would of took one myself. Fur +Jane, she was a peach, she was. But I don't know whether I would of or +not. When she makes that brag about dying, I looked at the perfessor. +What she said never fazed him. And I thinks agin: "Mebby I better jump +in now and stop this thing." And then I thinks agin: "No, it is between +them three and Providence." Besides, I'm anxious to see who is going +to get that pill with the science in it. I gets to feeling jest like +Providence hisself was in that there room picking out them pills with +his own hands. And I was anxious to see what Providence's ideas of right +and wrong was like. So fur as I could see they was all three in the +wrong, but if I had of been in there running them pills in Providence's +place I would of let them all off kind o' easy. + +Henry, he ain't eat his pill yet. He is jest looking at it and shaking. +The perfessor pulls out his watch and lays it on the table. + +"It is a quarter past eleven," he says. "Mr. Murray, are you going to +make me shoot you, after all? I didn't want a scandal," he says. "It's +for you to say whether you want to eat that pill and get your even +chance, or whether you want to get shot. The shooting method is sure, +but it causes talk. These pills won't. WHICH?" + +And he pulls a revolver. Which I suppose he had got that too when he +went down after them pills. + +Henry, he looks at the gun. + +Then he looks at the pill. + +Then he swallers the pill. + +The perfessor puts his gun back into his pocket, and then he puts his +pill into his mouth. He don't swaller it. He looks at the watch, and he +looks at Henry. + +"Sixteen minutes past eleven," he says. "AT EXACTLY TWENTY-NINE MINUTES +TO TWELVE MR. MURRAY WILL BE DEAD. I got the harmless one. I can tell by +the taste." + +And he put the pieces out into his hand, to show that he has chewed +his'n up, not being willing to wait fifteen minutes fur a verdict from +his digestive ornaments. Then he put them pieces back into his mouth and +chewed 'em up and swallered 'em down like he was eating cough drops. + +Henry has got sweat breaking out all over his face, and he tries to make +fur the door, but he falls down onto a sofa. + +"This is murder," he says, weak-like. And he tries to get up again, but +this time he falls to the floor in a dead faint. + +"It's a dern short fifteen minutes," I thinks to myself. "That perfessor +must of put more science into Henry's pill than he thought he did fur it +to of knocked him out this quick. It ain't skeercly three minutes." + +When Henry falls the woman staggers and tries to throw herself on top +of him. The corners of her mouth was all drawed down, and her eyes was +turned up. But she don't yell none. She can't. She tries, but she jest +gurgles in her throat. The perfessor won't let her fall acrost Henry. +He ketches her. "Sit up, Jane," he says, with that Estelle look onto his +face, "and let us have a talk." + +She looks at him with no more sense in her face than a piece of putty +has got. But she can't look away from him. + +And I'm kind o' paralyzed, too. If that feller laying on the floor +had only jest kicked oncet, or grunted, or done something, I could of +loosened up and yelled, and I would of. I jest NEEDED to fetch a yell. +But Henry ain't more'n dropped down there till I'm feeling jest like +he'd ALWAYS been there, and I'd ALWAYS been staring into that room, and +the last word any one spoke was said hundreds and hundreds of years ago. + +"You're a murderer," says Jane in a whisper, looking at the perfessor in +that stare-eyed way. "You're a MURDERER," she says, saying it like she +was trying to make herself feel sure he really was one. + +"Murder!" says the perfessor. "Did you think I was going to run any +chances for a pup like him? He's scared, that's all. He's just fainted +through fright. He's a coward. Those pills were both just bread and +sugar. He'll be all right in a minute or two. I've just been showing +you that the fellow hasn't got nerve enough nor brains enough for a fine +woman like you, Jane," he says. + +Then Jane begins to sob and laugh, both to oncet, kind o' wild like, her +voice clucking like a hen does, and she says: + +"It's worse then, it's worse! It's worse for me than if it were a +murder! Some farces can be more tragic than any tragedy ever was," she +says. Or they was words to that effect. + +And if Henry had of been really dead she couldn't of took it no harder +than she begun to take it now when she saw he was alive, but jest wasn't +no good. But I seen she was taking on fur herself now more'n fur Henry. +Doctor Kirby always use to say women is made unlike most other animals +in many ways. When they is foolish about a man they can stand to have +that man killed a good 'eal better than to have him showed up ridiculous +right in front of them. They will still be crazy about the man that is +dead, even if he was crooked. But they don't never forgive the fellow +that lets himself be made a fool and lets them look foolish, too. And +when the perfessor kicks Henry in the ribs, and Henry comes to and +sneaks out, Jane, she never even turns her head and looks at him. + +"Jane," says the perfessor, when she quiets down some, "you have a lot +o' things to forgive me. But do you suppose I have learned enough so +that we can make a go of it if we start all over again?" + +But Jane she never said nothing. + +"Jane," he says, "Estelle is going back to New England, as soon as +Margery gets well, and she will stay there for good." + +Jane, she begins to take a little intrust then. + +"Did Estelle tell you so?" she asts. + +"No," says the perfessor. "Estelle doesn't know it yet. I'm going to +break the news to her in the morning." + +But Jane still hates him. She's making herself hate him hard. She +wouldn't of been a human woman if she had let herself be coaxed up all +to oncet. Purty soon she says: "I'm tired." And she went out looking +like the perfessor was a perfect stranger. She was a peace, Jane was. + +After she left, the perfessor set there quite a spell and smoked. And he +was looking tired out, too. They wasn't no mistake about me. I was jest +dead all through my legs. + + + + + +CHAPTER XII + + +I was down in the perfessor's labertory one day, and that was a queer +place. They was every kind of scientifics that has ever been discovered +in it. Some was pickled in bottles and some was stuffed and some was +pinned to the walls with their wings spread out. If you took hold of +anything, it was likely to be a skull and give you the shivers or some +electric contraption and shock you; and if you tipped over a jar and +it broke, enough germs might get loose to slaughter a hull town. I was +helping the perfessor to unpack a lot of stuff some friends had sent +him, and I noticed a bottle that had onto it, blowed in the glass: + + +DANIEL, DUNNE AND COMPANY + + + +"That's funny," says I, out loud. + +"What is?" asts the perfessor. + +I showed him the bottle and told him how I was named after the company +that made 'em. He says to look around me. They is all kinds of glassware +in that room--bottles and jars and queer-shaped things with crooked tails +and noses--and nigh every piece of glass the perfessor owns is made by +that company. + +"Why," says the perfessor, "their factory is in this very town." + +And nothing would do fur me but I must go and see that factory. I +couldn't till the quarantine was pried loose from our house. But when it +was, I went down town and hunted up the place and looked her over. + +It was a big factory, and I was kind of proud of that. I was glad she +wasn't no measly, little, old-fashioned, run-down concern. Of course, +I wasn't really no relation to it and it wasn't none to me. But I +was named fur it, too, and it come about as near to being a fambly as +anything I had ever had or was likely to find. So I was proud it seemed +to be doing so well. + +I thinks as I looks at her of the thousands and thousands of bottles +that has been coming out of there fur years and years, and will be +fur years and years to come. And one bottle not so much different from +another one. And all that was really knowed about me was jest the name +on one out of all them millions and millions of bottles. It made me feel +kind of queer, when I thought of that, as if I didn't have no separate +place in the world any more than one of them millions of bottles. If any +one will shut his eyes and say his own name over and over agin fur quite +a spell, he will get kind of wonderized and mesmerized a-doing it--he +will begin to wonder who the dickens he is, anyhow, and what he is, and +what the difference between him and the next feller is. He will wonder +why he happens to be himself and the next feller HIMSELF. He wonders +where himself leaves off and the rest of the world begins. I been that +way myself--all wonderized, so that I felt jest like I was a melting +piece of the hull creation, and it was all shifting and drifting and +changing and flowing, and not solid anywhere, and I could hardly keep +myself from flowing into it. It makes a person feel awful queer, like +seeing a ghost would. It makes him feel like HE wasn't no solider than +a ghost himself. Well, if you ever done that and got that feeling, you +KNOW what I mean. All of a sudden, when I am trying to take in all +them millions and millions of bottles, it rushed onto me, that feeling, +strong. Thinking of them bottles had somehow brung it on. The bigness +of the hull creation, and the smallness of me, and the gait at which +everything was racing and rushing ahead, made me want to grab hold of +something solid and hang on. + +I reached out my hand, and it hit something solid all right. It was +a feller who was wheeling out a hand truck loaded with boxes from the +shipping department. I had been standing by the shipping department +door, and I reached right agin him. + +He wants to know if I am drunk or a blanked fool. So after some talk +of that kind I borrows a chew of tobacco of him and we gets right well +acquainted. + +I helped him finish loading his wagon and rode over to the freight depot +with him and helped him unload her. Lifting one of them boxes down from +the wagon I got such a shock I like to of dropped her. + +Fur she was marked so many dozen, glass, handle with care, and she was +addressed to Dr. Hartley L. Kirby, Atlanta, Ga. + +I managed to get that box onto the platform without busting her, and +then I sets down on top of her awful weak. + +"What's the matter?" asts the feller I was with. + +"Nothing," says I. + +"You look sick," he says. And I WAS feeling that-a-way. + +"Mebby I do," says I, "and it's enough to shake a feller up to find a +dead man come to life sudden like this." + +"Great snakes, no!" says he, looking all around, "where?" + +But I didn't stop to chew the rag none. I left him right there, with his +mouth wide open, staring after me like I was crazy. Half a block away I +looked back and I seen him double over and slap his knee and laugh loud, +like he had hearn a big joke, but what he was laughing at I never knew. + +I was tickled. Tickled? Jest so tickled I was plumb foolish with it. The +doctor was alive after all--I kept saying it over and over to myself--he +hadn't drownded nor blowed away. And I was going to hunt him up. + +I had a little money. The perfessor had paid it to me. He had give me a +job helping take care of his hosses and things like that, and wanted me +to stay, and I had been thinking mebby I would fur a while. But not now! + +I calkelated I could grab a ride that very night that would put me into +Evansville the next morning. I figgered if I ketched a through freight +from there on the next night I might get where he was almost as quick as +them bottles did. + +I didn't think it was no use writing out my resignation fur the +perfessor. But I got quite a bit of grub from Biddy Malone to make a +start on, fur I didn't figger on spending no more money than I had to +on grub. She asts me a lot of questions, and I had to lie to her a +good deal, but I got the grub. And at ten that night I was in an empty +bumping along south, along with a cross-eyed feller named Looney Hogan +who happened to be travelling the same way. + +Riding on trains without paying fare ain't always the easy thing it +sounds. It is like a trade that has got to be learned. They is different +ways of doing it. I have done every way frequent, except one. That I +give up after trying her two, three times. That is riding the rods +down underneath the cars, with a piece of board put acrost 'em to lay +yourself on. + +I never want to go ANYWHERES agin bad enough to ride the rods. + +Because sometimes you arrive where you are going to partly smeared over +the trucks and in no condition fur to be made welcome to our city, as +Doctor Kirby would say. Sometimes you don't arrive. Every oncet in a +while you read a little piece in a newspaper about a man being found +alongside the tracks, considerable cut up, or laying right acrost them, +mebby. He is held in the morgue a while and no one knows who he is, and +none of the train crew knows they has run over a man, and the engineer +says they wasn't none on the track. More'n likely that feller has been +riding the rods, along about the middle of the train. Mebby he let +himself go to sleep and jest rolled off. Mebby his piece of board +slipped and he fell when the train jolted. Or mebby he jest natcherally +made up his mind he rather let loose and get squashed then get any more +cinders into his eyes. Riding the blind baggage or the bumpers gives me +all the excitement I wants, or all the gambling chancet either; others +can have the rods fur all of me. And they IS some people ackshally says +they likes 'em best. + +A good place, if it is winter time, is the feed rack over a cattle car, +fur the heat and steam from all them steers in there will keep you warm. +But don't crawl in no lumber car that is only loaded about half full, +and short lengths and bundles of laths and shingles in her; fur they +is likely to get to shifting and bumping. Baled hay is purty good +sometimes. Myself, not being like these bums that is too proud to +work, I have often helped the fireman shovel coal and paid fur my ride +that-a-way. But an empty, fur gineral purposes, will do about as well as +anything. + +This feller Looney Hogan that was with me was a kind of a harmless +critter, and he didn't know jest where he was going, nor why. He was +mostly scared of things, and if you spoke to him quick he shivered first +and then grinned idiotic so you wouldn't kick him, and when he talked +he had a silly little giggle. He had been made that-a-way in a reform +school where they took him young and tried to work the cussedness out'n +him by batting him around. They worked it out, and purty nigh everything +else along with it, I guess. Looney had had a pardner whose name was +Slim, he said; but a couple of years before Slim had fell overboard +off'n a barge up to Duluth and never come up agin. Looney knowed Slim +was drownded all right, but he was always travelling around looking +at tanks and freight depots and switch shanties, fur Slim's mark to be +fresh cut with a knife somewheres, so he would know where to foller and +ketch up with him agin. He knowed he would never find Slim's mark, he +said, but he kept a-looking, and he guessed that was the way he got the +name of Looney. + +Looney left me at Evansville. He said he was going east from there, he +guessed. And I went along south. But I was hindered considerable, being +put off of trains three or four times, and having to grab these here +slow local freights between towns all the way down through Kentuckey. +Anywheres south of the Ohio River and east of the Mississippi River +trainmen is grouchier to them they thinks is bums than north of it, +anyhow. And in some parts of it, if a real bum gets pinched, heaven help +'im, fur nothing else won't. + +One night, between twelve and one o'clock, I was put off of a freight +train fur the second time in a place in the northern part of Tennessee, +right near the Kentuckey line. I set down in a lumber yard near the +railroad track, and when she started up agin I grabbed onto the iron +ladder and swung myself aboard. But the brakeman was watching fur me, +and clumb down the ladder and stamped on my fingers. So I dropped off, +with one finger considerable mashed, and set down in that lumber yard +wondering what next. + +It was a dark night, and so fur as I could see they wasn't much moving +in that town. Only a few places was lit up. One was way acrost the town +square from me, and it was the telephone exchange, with a man operator +reading a book in there. The other was the telegraph room in the depot +about a hundred yards from me, and they was only two fellers in it, +both smoking. The main business part of the town was built up around the +square, like lots of old-fashioned towns is, and they was jest enough +brightness from four, five electric lights to show the shape of the +square and be reflected from the windows of the closed-up stores. + +I knowed they was likely a watchman somewheres about, too. I guessed +I wouldn't wander around none and run no chances of getting took up by +him. So I was getting ready to lay down on top of a level pile of boards +and go to sleep when I hearn a curious kind of noise a way off, like it +must be at the edge of town. + +It sounded like quite a bunch of cattle might shuffling along a dusty +road. The night was so quiet you could hear things plain from a long +ways off. It growed a little louder and a little nearer. And then it +struck a plank bridge somewheres, and come acrost it with a clatter. +Then I knowed it wasn't cattle. Cows and steers don't make that +cantering kind of noise as a rule; they trot. It was hosses crossing +that bridge. And they was quite a lot of 'em. + +As they struck the dirt road agin, I hearn a shot. And then another and +another. Then a dozen all to oncet, and away off through the night a +woman screamed. + +I seen the man in the telephone place fling down his book and grab a +pistol from I don't know where. He stepped out into the street and fired +three shots into the air as fast as he could pull the trigger. And as he +done so they was a light flashed out in a building way down the railroad +track, and shots come answering from there. Men's voices began to yell +out; they was the noise of people running along plank sidewalks, and +windows opening in the dark. Then with a rush the galloping noise come +nearer, come closet; raced by the place where I was hiding, and nigh +a hundred men with guns swept right into the middle of that square and +pulled their hosses up. + + + + + +CHAPTER XIII + + +I seen the feller from the telephone exchange run down the street a +little ways as the first rush hit the square, and fire his pistol twice. +Then he turned and made fur an alleyway, but as he turned they let him +have it. He throwed up his arms and made one long stagger, right acrost +the bar of light that streamed out of the windows, and he fell into the +shadder, out of sight, jest like a scorched moth drops dead into the +darkness from a torch. + +Out of the middle of that bunch of riders come a big voice, yelling +numbers, instead of men's names. Then different crowds lit out in all +directions--some on foot, while others held their hosses--fur they +seemed to have a plan laid ahead. + +And then things began to happen. They happened so quick and with such a +whirl it was all unreal to me--shots and shouts, and windows breaking as +they blazed away at the store fronts all around the square--and orders +and cuss-words ringing out between the noise of shooting--and those +electric lights shining on them as they tossed and trampled, and +showing up masked faces here and there--and pounding hoofs, and hosses +scream--like humans with excitement--and spurts of flame squirted sudden +out of the ring of darkness round about the open place--and a bull-dog +shut up in a store somewheres howling himself hoarse--and white puffs of +powder smoke like ghosts that went a-drifting by the lights--it was all +unreal to me, as if I had a fever and was dreaming it. That square was +like a great big stage in front of me, and I laid in the darkness on my +lumber pile and watched things like a show--not much scared because it +WAS so derned unreal. + +From way down along the railroad track they come a sort of blunted roar, +like blasting big stumps out--and then another and another. Purty soon, +down that way, a slim flame licked up the side of a big building there, +and crooked its tongue over the top. Then a second big building right +beside it ketched afire, and they both showed up in their own light, big +and angry and handsome, and the light showed up the men in front of 'em, +too--guarding 'em, I guess, fur fear the town would get its nerve and +make a fight to put 'em out. They begun to light the whole town up as +light as day, and paint a red patch onto the sky, that must of been +noticed fur miles around. It was a mighty purty sight to see 'em burn. +The smoke was rolling high, too, and the sparks flying and other things +in danger of ketching, and after while a lick of smoke come drifting up +my way. I smelt her. It was tobacco burning in them warehouses. + +But that town had some fight in her, in spite of being took unexpected +that-a-way. It wasn't no coward town. The light from the burning +buildings made all the shadders around about seem all the darker. And +every once in a while, after the surprise of the first rush, they would +come thin little streaks of fire out of the darkness somewheres, and the +sound of shots. And then a gang of riders would gallop in that direction +shooting up all creation. But by the time the warehouses was all lit up +so that you could see they was no hope of putting them out the shooting +from the darkness had jest about stopped. + +It looked like them big tobacco warehouses was the main object of the +raid. Fur when they was burning past all chancet of saving, with walls +and floors a-tumbling and crashing down and sending up great gouts of +fresh flame as they fell, the leader sings out an order, and all that is +not on their hosses jumps on, and they rides away from the blaze. They +come across the square--not galloping now, but taking it easy, laughing +and talking and cussing and joking each other--and passed right by my +lumber pile agin and down the street they had come. You bet I laid low +on them boards while they was going by, and flattened myself out till I +felt like a shingle. + +As I hearn their hoof-sounds getting farther off, I lifts up my head +agin. But they wasn't all gone, either. Three that must of been up to +some pertic'ler deviltry of their own come galloping acrost the square +to ketch up with the main bunch. Two was quite a bit ahead of the third +one, and he yelled to them to wait. But they only laughed and rode +harder. + +And then fur some fool reason that last feller pulled up his hoss and +stopped. He stopped in the road right in front of me, and wheeled his +hoss acrost the road and stood up in his stirrups and took a long look +at that blaze. You'd 'a' said he had done it all himself and was mighty +proud of it, the way he raised his head and looked back at that town. He +was so near that I hearn him draw in a slow, deep breath. He stood still +fur most a minute like that, black agin the red sky, and then he turned +his hoss's head and jabbed him with his stirrup edge. + +Jest as the hoss started they come a shot from somewheres behind me. +I s'pose they was some one hid in the lumber piles, where the street +crossed the railway, besides myself. The hoss jumped forward at the +shot, and the feller swayed sideways and dropped his gun and lost his +stirrups and come down heavy on the ground. His hoss galloped off. I +heard the noise of some one running off through the dark, and stumbling +agin the lumber. It was the feller who had fired the shot running away. +I suppose he thought the rest of them riders would come back, when they +heard that shot, and hunt him down. + +I thought they might myself. But I laid there, and jest waited. If they +come, I didn't want to be found running. But they didn't come. The two +last ones had caught up with the main gang, I guess, fur purty soon +I hearn them all crossing that plank bridge agin, and knowed they was +gone. + +At first I guessed the feller on the ground must be dead. But he wasn't, +fur purty soon I hearn him groan. He had mebby been stunned by his fall, +and was coming to enough to feel his pain. + +I didn't feel like he orter be left there. So I clumb down and went over +to him. He was lying on one side all kind of huddled up. There had +been a mask on his face, like the rest of them, with some hair onto the +bottom of it to look like a beard. But now it had slipped down till it +hung loose around his neck by the string. They was enough light to see +he wasn't nothing but a young feller. He raised himself slow as I come +near him, leaning on one arm and trying to set up. The other arm hung +loose and helpless. Half setting up that-away he made a feel at his belt +with his good hand, as I come near. But that good arm was his prop, and +when he took it off the ground he fell back. His hand come away empty +from his belt. + +The big six-shooter he had been feeling fur wasn't in its holster, +anyhow. It had fell out when he tumbled. I picked it up in the road +jest a few feet from his shot-gun, and stood there with it in my hand, +looking down at him. + +"Well," he says, in a drawly kind of voice, slow and feeble, but looking +at me steady and trying to raise himself agin, "yo' can finish yo' +little job now--yo' shot me from the darkness, and now yo' done got my +pistol. I reckon yo' better shoot AGIN." + +"I don't want to rub it in none," I says, "with you down and out, but +from what I seen around this town to-night I guess you and your own gang +got no GREAT objections to shooting from the dark yourselves." + +"Why don't yo' shoot then?" he says. "It most suttinly is YO' turn now." +And he never batted an eye. + +"Bo," I says, "you got nerve. I LIKE you, Bo. I didn't shoot you, and I +ain't going to. The feller that did has went. I'm going to get you out +of this. Where you hurt?" + +"Hip," he says, "but that ain't much. The thing that bothers me is this +arm. It's done busted. I fell on it." + +I drug him out of the road and back of the lumber pile I had been laying +on, and hurt him considerable a-doing it. + +"Now," I says, "what can I do fur you?" + +"I reckon yo' better leave me," he says, "without yo' want to get +yo'self mixed up in all this." + +"If I do," I says, "you may bleed to death here: or anyway you would get +found in the morning and be run in." + +"Yo' mighty good to me," says he, "considering yo' are no kin to this +here part of the country at all. I reckon by yo' talk yo' are one of +them damn Yankees, ain't yo'?" + +In Illinoise a Yankee is some one from the East, but down South he is +anybody from north of the Ohio, and though that there war was fought +forty years ago some of them fellers down there don't know damn and +Yankee is two words yet. But shucks!--they don't mean no harm by it! So +I tells him I am a damn Yankee and asts him agin if I can do anything +fur him. + +"Yes," he says, "yo' can tell a friend of mine Bud Davis has happened +to an accident, and get him over here quick with his wagon to tote me +home." + +I was to go down the railroad track past them burning warehouses till +I come to the third street, and then turn to my left. "The third house +from the track has got an iron picket fence in front of it," says Bud, +"and it's the only house in that part of town which has. Beauregard +Peoples lives there. He is kin to me." + +"Yes," I says, "and Beauregard is jest as likely as not going to take a +shot out of the front window at me, fur luck, afore I can tell him what +I want. It seems to be a kind of habit in these here parts to-night--I'm +getting homesick fur Illinoise. But I'll take a chancet." + +"He won't shoot," says Bud, "if yo' go about it right. Beauregard ain't +going to be asleep with all this going on in town to-night. Yo' rattle +on the iron gate and he'll holler to know what yo' all want." + +"If he don't shoot first," I says. + +"When he hollers, yo' cry back at him yo' have found his OLD DEAD HOSS +in the road. It won't hurt to holler that loud, and that will make him +let you within talking distance." + +"His old DEAD HOSS?" + +"Yo' don't need to know what that is. HE will." And then Bud told +me enough of the signs and words to say, and things to do, to keep +Beauregard from shooting--he said he reckoned he had trusted me so much +he might as well go the hull hog. Beauregard, he says, belongs to them +riders too; they have friends in all the towns that watches the lay of +the land fur them, he says. + +I made a long half-circle around them burning buildings, keeping in the +dark, fur people was coming out in bunches, now that it was all over +with, watching them fires burning, and talking excited, and saying the +riders should be follered--only not follering. + +I found the house Bud meant, and they was a light in the second-story +window. I rattled on the gate. A dog barked somewheres near, but I hearn +his chain jangle and knowed he was fast, and I rattled on the gate agin. + +The light moved away from the window. Then another front window opened +quiet, and a voice says: + +"Doctor, is that yo' back agin?" + +"No," I says, "I ain't a doctor." + +"Stay where you are, then. _I_ GOT YOU COVERED." + +"I am staying," I says, "don't shoot." + +"Who are yo'?" + +"A feller," I says, kind of sensing his gun through the darkness as I +spoke, "who has found your OLD DEAD HOSS in the road." + +He didn't answer fur several minutes. Then he says, using the words DEAD +HOSS as Bud had said he would. + +"A DEAD HOSS is fitten fo' nothing but to skin." + +"Well," I says, using the words fur the third time, as instructed, "it +is a DEAD HOSS all right." + +I hearn the window shut and purty soon the front door opened. + +"Come up here," he says. I come. + +"Who rode that hoss yo' been talking about?" he asts. + +"One of the SILENT BRIGADE," I tells him, as Bud had told me to say. I +give him the grip Bud had showed me with his good hand. + +"Come on in," he says. + +He shut the door behind us and lighted a lamp agin. And we looked each +other over. He was a scrawny little feller, with little gray eyes set +near together, and some sandy-complected whiskers on his chin. I told +him about Bud, and what his fix was. + +"Damn it--oh, damn it all," he says, rubbing the bridge of his nose, "I +don't see how on AIRTH I kin do it. My wife's jest had a baby. Do yo' +hear that?" + +And I did hear a sound like kittens mewing, somewheres up stairs. +Beauregard, he grinned and rubbed his nose some more, and looked at me +like he thought that mewing noise was the smartest sound that ever was +made. + +"Boy," he says, grinning, "bo'n five hours ago. I've done named him +Burley--after the tobaccer association, yo' know. Yes, SIR, Burley +Peoples is his name--and he shore kin squall, the derned little cuss!" + +"Yes," I says, "you better stay with Burley. Lend me a rig of some sort +and I'll take Bud home." + +So we went out to Beauregard's stable with a lantern and hitched up one +of his hosses to a light road wagon. He went into the house and come +back agin with a mattress fur Bud to lie on, and a part of a bottle of +whiskey. And I drove back to that lumber pile. I guess I nearly killed +Bud getting him into there. But he wasn't bleeding much from his hip--it +was his arm was giving him fits. + +We went slow, and the dawn broke with us four miles out of town. It was +broad daylight, and early morning noises stirring everywheres, when we +drove up in front of an old farmhouse, with big brick chimbleys built on +the outside of it, a couple of miles farther on. + + + + + +CHAPTER XIV + + +As I drove into the yard, a bare-headed old nigger with a game leg +throwed down an armful of wood he was gathering and went limping up +to the veranda as fast as he could. He opened the door and bawled out, +pointing to us, before he had it fairly open: + +"O Marse WILLyum! O Miss LUCY! Dey've brung him home! DAR he!" + +A little, bright, black-eyed old lady like a wren comes running out of +the house, and chirps: + +"O Bud--O my honey boy! Is he dead?" + +"I reckon not, Miss Lucy," says Bud raising himself up on the mattress +as she runs up to the wagon, and trying to act like everything was all +a joke. She was jest high enough to kiss him over the edge of the wagon +box. A worried-looking old gentleman come out the door, seen Bud and his +mother kissing each other, and then says to the old nigger man: + +"George, yo' old fool, what do yo' mean by shouting out like that?" + +"Marse Willyum--" begins George, explaining. + +"Shut up," says the old gentleman, very quiet. "Take the bay mare and go +for Doctor Po'ter." Then he comes to the wagon and says: + +"So they got yo', Bud? Yo' WOULD go nightriding like a rowdy and a thug! +Are yo' much hurt?" + +He said it easy and gentle, more than mad. But Bud, he flushed up, pale +as he was, and didn't answer his dad direct. He turned to his mother and +said: + +"Miss Lucy, dear, it would 'a' done yo' heart good to see the way them +trust warehouses blazed up!" + +And the old lady, smiling and crying both to oncet, says, "God bless her +brave boy." But the old gentleman looked mighty serious, and his worry +settled into a frown between his eyes, and he turns to me and says: + +"Yo' must pardon us, sir, fo' neglecting to thank yo' sooner." I told +him that would be all right, fur him not to worry none. And him and me +and Mandy, which was the nigger cook, got Bud into the house and into +his bed. And his mother gets that busy ordering Mandy and the old +gentleman around, to get things and fix things, and make Bud as easy +as she could, that you could see she was one of them kind of woman that +gets a lot of satisfaction out of having some one sick to fuss over. And +after quite a while George gets back with Doctor Porter. + +He sets Bud's arm, and he locates the bullet in him, and he says he +guesses he'll do in a few weeks if nothing like blood poisoning nor +gangrene nor inflammation sets in. + +Only the doctor says he "reckons" instead of he "guesses," which they +all do down there. And they all had them easy-going, wait-a-bit kind +of voices, and didn't see no pertic'ler importance in their "r's." It +wasn't that you could spell it no different when they talked, but it +sounded different. + +I eat my breakfast with the old gentleman, and then I took a sleep until +time fur dinner. They wouldn't hear of me leaving that night. I fully +intended to go on the next day, but before I knowed it I been there a +couple of days, and have got very well acquainted with that fambly. + +Well, that was a house divided agin itself. Miss Lucy, she is awful +favourable to all this nightrider business. She spunks up and her eyes +sparkles whenever she thinks about that there tobaccer trust. + +She would of like to been a night-rider herself. But the old man, he +says law and order is the main pint. What the country needs, he says, +ain't burning down tobaccer warehouses, and shooting your neighbours, +and licking them with switches, fur no wrong done never righted another +wrong. + +"But you were in the Ku Klux Klan yo'self," says Miss Lucy. + +The old man says the Ku Kluxes was working fur a principle--the +principle of keeping the white supremacy on top of the nigger race. Fur +if you let 'em quit work and go around balloting and voting it won't +do. It makes 'em biggity. And a biggity nigger is laying up trouble fur +himself. Because sooner or later he will get to thinking he is as good +as one of these here Angle-Saxtons you are always hearing so much talk +about down South. And if the Angle-Saxtons was to stand fur that, purty +soon they would be sociable equality. And next the hull dern country +would be niggerized. Them there Angle-Saxtons, that come over from +Ireland and Scotland and France and the Great British Islands and +settled up the South jest simply couldn't afford to let that happen, he +says, and so they Ku Kluxed the niggers to make 'em quit voting. It was +THEIR job to MAKE law and order, he says, which they couldn't be with +niggers getting the idea they had a right to govern. So they Ku Kluxed +'em like gentlemen. But these here night-riders, he says, is AGIN law +and order--they can shoot up more law and order in one night than can be +manufactured agin in ten years. He was a very quiet, peaceable old man, +Mr. Davis was, and Bud says he was so dern foolish about law and order +he had to up and shoot a man, about fifteen years ago, who hearn him +talking that-a-way and said he reminded him of a Boston school teacher. + +But Miss Lucy and Bud, they tells me what all them night-ridings is +fur. It seems this here tobaccer trust is jest as mean and low-down and +unprincipled as all the rest of them trusts. The farmers around there +raised considerable tobaccer--more'n they did of anything else. The +trust had shoved the price so low they couldn't hardly make a living. +So they organized and said they would all hold their tobaccer fur a fair +price. But some of the farmers wouldn't organize--said they had a right +to do what they pleased with their own tobaccer. So the night-riders was +formed to burn their barns and ruin their crops and whip 'em and shoot +'em and make 'em jine. And also to burn a few trust warehouses now and +then, and show 'em this free American people, composed mainly out of the +Angle-Saxton races, wasn't going to take no sass from anybody. + +An old feller by the name of Rufe Daniels who wouldn't jine the +night-riders had been shot to death on his own door step, jest about a +mile away, only a week or so before. The night-riders mostly used these +here automatic shot-guns, but they didn't bother with birdshot. They +mostly loaded their shells with buckshot. A few bicycle ball bearings +dropped out of old Rufe when they gathered him up and got him into shape +to plant. They is always some low-down cuss in every crowd that carries +things to the point where they get brutal, Bud says; and he feels like +them bicycle bearings was going a little too fur, though he wouldn't let +on to his dad that he felt that-a-way. + +So fur as I could see they hadn't hurt the trust none to speak of, them +night-riders. But they had done considerable damage to their own county, +fur folks was moving away, and the price of land had fell. Still, I +guess they must of got considerable satisfaction out of raising the +deuce nights that-away; and sometimes that is worth a hull lot to a +feller. As fur as I could make out both the trust and the night-riders +was in the wrong. But, you take 'em one at a time, personal-like, and +not into a gang, and most of them night-riders is good-dispositioned +folks. I never knowed any trusts personal, but mebby if you could ketch +'em the same way they would be similar. + +I asts George one day what he thought about it. George, he got mighty +serious right off, like he felt his answer was going to be used to +decide the hull thing by. He was carrying a lot of scraps on a plate to +a hound dog that had a kennel out near George's cabin, and he walled his +eyes right thoughtful, and scratched his head with the fork he had been +scraping the plate with, but fur a while nothing come of it. Finally +George says: + +"I'se 'spec' mah jedgment des about de same as Marse WILLyum's an' Miss +LUCY's. I'se notice hit mos' ingin'lly am de same." + +"That can't be, George," says I, "fur they think different ways." + +"Den if DAT am de case," says George, "dey ain't NO ONE kin settle hit +twell hit settles hitse'f. + +"I'se mos' ingin'lly notice a thing DO settle hitse'f arter a while. +Yass, SAH, I'se notice dat! Long time ago dey was consid'ble gwines-on +in dis hyah county, Marse Daniel. I dunno ef yo' evah heah 'bout dat o' +not, Marse Daniel, but dey was a wah fit right hyah in dis hyah county. +Such gwines-on as nevah was--dem dar Yankees a-ridin' aroun' an' eatin' +up de face o' de yearth, like de plagues o' Pha'aoah, Marse Daniel, and +rippin' and rarin' an' racin' an' stealin' evehything dey could lay +dey han's on, Marse Daniel. An' ouah folks a-ridin' and a racin' and +projickin' aroun' in de same onsettled way. + +"Marse Willyum, he 'low HE gwine settle dat dar wah he-se'f--yass, SAH! +An' he got on he hoss, and he ride away an' jine Marse Jeb Stuart. But +dey don' settle hit. Marse Ab'ham Linkum, he 'low HE gwine settle hit, +an' sen' millyums an' millyums mo' o' dem Yankees down hyah, Marse +Daniel. But dey des ONsettle hit wuss'n evah! But arter a while it des +settle HITse'f. + + "An' den freedom broke out among de niggers, +and dey was mo' gwines-ON, an' talkin', an' some on 'em 'lowed dey was +gwine ter be no mo' wohk, Marse Daniel. But arter a while dat settle +HITse'f, and dey all went back to wohk agin. Den some on de niggers +gits de notion, Marse Daniel, dey gwine foh to VOTE. An' dey was mo' +gwines-on, an' de Ku Kluxes come a projickin' aroun' nights, like de +grave-yahds done been resu'rected, Marse Daniel, an' den arter a while +dat trouble settle HITse'f. + +"Den arter de Ku Kluxes dey was de time Miss Lucy Buckner gwine ter mahy +Marse Prent McMakin. An' she don' want to ma'hy him, if dey give her her +druthers about hit. But Ol' Marse Kunnel Hampton, her gram-pa, and her +aunt, MY Miss Lucy hyah, dey ain't gwine give her no druthers. And dey +was mo' gwines-ON. But dat settle HITse'f, too." + +George, he begins to chuckle, and I ast him how. + +"Yass, SAH, dat settle HITse'f. But I 'spec' Miss Lucy Buckner done he'p +some in de settleMENT. Foh de day befoh de weddin' was gwine ter be, +she ups an' she runs off wid a Yankee frien' of her brother, Kunnel Tom +Buckner. An' I'se 'spec' Kunnel Tom an' Marse Prent McMakin would o' +settle' HIM ef dey evah had o' cotched him--dat dar David Ahmstrong!" + +"Who?" says I. + +"David Ahmstrong was his entitlement," says George, "an' he been gwine +to de same college as Marse Tom Buckner, up no'th somewhah. Dat's +how-come he been visitin' Marse Tom des befoh de weddin' trouble done +settle HIT se'f dat-away." + +Well, it give me quite a turn to run onto the mention of that there +David Armstrong agin in this part of the country. Here he had been +jilting Miss Hampton way up in Indiany, and running away with another +girl down here in Tennessee. Then it struck me mebby it is jest +different parts of the same story I been hearing of, and Martha had got +her part a little wrong. + +"George," I says, "what did you say Miss Lucy Buckner's gran-dad's name +was?" + +"Kunnel Hampton--des de same as MY Miss Lucy befo' SHE done ma'hied +Marse Willyum." + +That made me sure of it. It was the same woman. She had run away with +David Armstrong from this here same neighbourhood. Then after he got +her up North he had left her--or her left him. And then she wasn't +Miss Buckner no longer. And she was mad and wouldn't call herself Mrs. +Armstrong. So she moved away from where any one was lible to trace her +to, and took her mother's maiden name, which was Hampton. + +"Well," I says, "what ever become of 'em after they run off, George?" + +But George has told about all he knows. They went North, according to +what everybody thinks, he says. Prent McMakin, he follered and hunted. +And Col. Tom Buckner, he done the same. Fur about a year Colonel Tom, +he was always making trips away from there to the North. But whether he +ever got any track of his sister and that David Armstrong nobody knowed. +Nobody never asked him. Old Colonel Hampton, he grieved and he grieved, +and not long after the runaway he up and died. And Tom Buckner, he +finally sold all he owned in that part of the country and moved further +south. George said he didn't rightly know whether it was Alabama or +Florida. Or it might of been Georgia. + +I thinks to myself that mebby Mrs. Davis would like to know where her +niece is, and that I better tell her about Miss Hampton being in that +there little Indiany town, and where it is. And then I thinks to myself +I better not butt in. Fur Miss Hampton has likely got her own reasons +fur keeping away from her folks, or else she wouldn't do it. Anyhow, +it's none of MY affair to bring the subject up to 'em. It looks to +me like one of them things George has been gassing about--one of them +things that has settled itself, and it ain't fur me to meddle and +unsettle it. + +It set me to thinking about Martha, too. Not that I hadn't thought of +her lots of times. I had often thought I would write her. But I kept +putting it off, and purty soon I kind of forgot Martha. I had seen a lot +of different girls of all kinds since I had seen Martha. Yet, whenever +I happened to think of Martha, I had always liked her best. Only moving +around the country so much makes it kind of hard to keep thinking steady +of the same girl. Besides, I had lost that there half of a ring, too. + +But knowing what I did now about Miss Hampton being Miss Buckner--or +Mrs. Armstrong--and related to these Davises made me want to get away +from there. Fur that secret made me feel kind of sneaking, like I wasn't +being frank and open with them. Yet if I had of told 'em I would of felt +sneakinger yet fur giving Miss Hampton away. I never got into a mix up +that-a-way betwixt my conscience and my duty but what it made me feel +awful uncomfortable. So I guessed I would light out from there. They +wasn't never no kinder, better people than them Davises, either. They +was so pleased with my bringing Bud home the night he was shot they +would of jest natcherally give me half their farm if I had of ast them +fur it. They wanted me to stay there--they didn't say fur how long, and +I guess they didn't give a dern. But I was in a sweat to ketch up with +Doctor Kirby agin. + + + + + +CHAPTER XV + + +I made purty good time, and in a couple of days I was in Atlanta. I +knowed the doctor must of gone back into some branch of the medicine +game--the bottles told me that. I knowed it must be something that he +needed some special kind of bottles fur, too, or he wouldn't of had them +shipped all that distance, but would of bought them nearer. I seen I was +a dern fool fur rushing off and not inquiring what kind of bottles, so I +could trace what he was into easier. + +It's hard work looking fur a man in a good-sized town. I hung around +hotel lobbies and places till I was tired of it, thinking he might +come in. And I looked through all the office buildings and read all the +advertisements in the papers. Then the second day I was there the state +fair started up and I went out to it. + +I run acrost a couple I knowed out there the first thing--it was Watty +and the snake-charmer woman. Only she wasn't charming them now. Her and +Watty had a Parisian Models' show. I ast Watty where Dolly was. He says +he don't know, that Dolly has quit him. By which I guess he means he has +quit her. I ast where Reginald is, and the Human Ostrich. But from +the way they answered my questions I seen I wasn't welcome none around +there. I suppose that Mrs. Ostrich and Watty had met up agin somewheres, +and had jest natcherally run off with each other and left their +famblies. Like as not she had left poor old Reginald with that idiotic +ostrich feller to sell to strangers that didn't know his disposition. Or +mebby by now Reginald was turned loose in the open country to shift +fur himself, among wild snakes that never had no human education nor +experience; and what chancet would a friendly snake like Reginald have +in a gang like that? Some women has jest simply got no conscience at all +about their husbands and famblies, and that there Mrs. Ostrich was one +of 'em. + +Well, a feller can be a derned fool sometimes. Fur all my looking around +I wasted a lot of time before I thought of going to the one natcheral +place--the freight depot of the road them bottles had been shipped by. +I had lost a week coming down. But freight often loses more time than +that. And it was at the freight depot that I found him. + +Tickled? Well, yes! Both of us. + +"Well, by George," says he, "you're good for sore eyes." + +Before he told me how he happened not to of drownded or blowed away or +anything he says we better fix up a bit. Which he meant I better. So he +buys me duds from head to heel, and we goes to a Turkish bath place and +I puts 'em on. And then we goes and eats. Hearty. + +"Now," he says, "Fido Cut-up, how did you find me?"* + +I told him about the bottles. + +"A dead loss, those bottles," he says. "I wanted some non-refillable +ones for a little scheme I had in mind, and I had to get them at a +certain place--and now the scheme's up in the air and I can't use 'em." + +The doctor had changed some in looks in the year or more that had passed +since I saw him floating away in that balloon. And not fur the better. +He told me how he had blowed clean acrost Lake Erie in that there +balloon. And then when he got over land agin and went to pull the +cord that lets the parachute loose it wouldn't work at first. He jest +natcherally drifted on into the midst of nowhere, he said--miles and +miles into Canada. When he lit the balloon had lost so much gas and was +flying so low that the parachute didn't open out quick enough to do +much floating. So he lit hard, and come near being knocked out fur good. +But-- + + + *AUTHOR'S NOTE--Can it be that Danny struggles vaguely + to report some reference to FIDUS ACHATES? + +that wasn't the worst of it, fur the exposure had crawled into his lungs +by the time he found a house, and he got newmonia into them also, and +like to of died. Whilst I was laying sick he had been sick also, only +his'n lasted much longer. + +But he tells me he has jest struck an idea fur a big scheme. No little +schemes go fur him any more, he says. He wants money. Real money. + +"How you going to get it?" I asts him. + +"Come along and I'll tell you," he says. "We'll take a walk, and I'll +show you how I got my idea." + +We left the restaurant and went along the brag street of that town, +which it is awful proud of, past where the stores stops and the houses +begins. We come to a fine-looking house on a corner--a swell place it +was, with lots of palms and ferns and plants setting on the verandah +and showing through the windows. And stables back of it; and back of +the stables a big yard with noises coming from it like they was circus +animals there. Which I found out later they really was, kept fur pets. +You could tell the people that lived there had money. + +"This," says Doctor Kirby, as we walked by, "is the house that Jackson +built. Dr. Julius Jackson--OLD Doctor Jackson, the man with an idea! The +idea made all the money you smell around here." + +"What idea?" + +"The idea--the glorious humanitarian and philanthropic idea--of taking +the kinks and curls out of the hair of the Afro-American brother," says +Doctor Kirby, "at so much per kink." + +This Doctor Jackson, he says, sells what he calls Anti-Curl to the +niggers. It is to straighten out their hair so it will look like white +people's hair. They is millions and millions of niggers, and every +nigger has millions and millions of kinks, and so Doctor Jackson has +got rich at it. So rich he can afford to keep that there personal circus +menagerie in his back yard, for his little boy to play with, and many +other interesting things. He must be worth two, three million dollars, +Doctor Kirby says, and still a-making it, with more niggers growing up +all the time fur to have their hair unkinked. Especially mulattoes +and yaller niggers. Doctor Kirby says thinking what a great idea that +Anti-Curl was give him his own great idea. They is a gold mine there, he +says, and Dr. Julius Jackson has only scratched a little off the top of +it, but HE is going to dig deeper. + +"Why is it that the Afro-American brother buys Anti-Curl?" he asts. + +"Why?" I asts. + +"Because," he says, "he wants to be as much like a white man as he +possibly can. He strives to burst his birth's invidious bar, Danny. +They talk about progress and education for the Afro-American brother, and +uplift and advancement and industrial education and manual training +and all that sort of thing. Especially we Northerners. But what the +Afro-American brother thinks about and dreams about and longs for and +prays to be--when he thinks at all--is to be white. Education, to his +mind, is learning to talk like a white man. Progress means aping the +white man. Religion is dying and going to heaven and being a WHITE +angel--listen to his prayers and sermons and you'll find that out. He'll +do anything he can, or give anything he can get his Ethiopian grubhooks +on, for something that he thinks is going to make him more like a white +man. Poor devil! Therefore the millions of Doctor Jackson Anti-Curl. + +"All this Doctor Jackson Anti-Curl has discovered and thought out and +acted upon. If he had gone just one step farther the Afro-American +brother would have hailed him as a greater man than Abraham Lincoln, +or either of the Washingtons, George or Booker. It remains for me, +Danny--for US--to carry the torch ahead--to take up the work where the +imagination of Doctor Jackson Anti-Curl has laid it down." + +"How?" asts I. + +"WE'LL PUT UP AND SELL A PREPARATION TO TURN THE NEGROES WHITE!" + +THAT was his great idea. He was more excited over it than I ever seen +him before about anything. + +It sounded like so easy a way to get rich it made me wonder why no one +had ever done it before, if it could really be worked. I didn't believe +much it could be worked. + +But Doctor Kirby, he says he has begun his experiments already, with +arsenic. Arsenic, he says, will bleach anything. Only he is kind of +afraid of arsenic, too. If he could only get hold of something that +didn't cost much, and that would whiten them up fur a little while, he +says, it wouldn't make no difference if they did get black agin. This +here Anti-Curl stuff works like that--it takes the kinks out fur a +little while, and they come back agin. But that don't seem to hurt the +sale none. It only calls fur MORE of Doctor Jackson's medicine. + +The doctor takes me around to the place he boards at, and shows me a +nigger waiter he has been experimenting on. He had paid the nigger's +fine in a police court fur slashing another nigger some with a knife, +and kept him from going into the chain-gang. So the nigger agreed he +could use his hide to try different kinds of medicines on. He was a +velvety-looking, chocolate-coloured kind of nigger to start with, and +the best Doctor Kirby had been able to do so fur was to make a few +little liver-coloured spots come onto him. But it was making the nigger +sick, and the doctor was afraid to go too fur with it, fur Sam might die +and we would be at the expense of another nigger. Peroxide of hidergin +hadn't even phased him. Nor a lot of other things we tried onto him. + +You never seen a nigger with his colour running into him so deep as +Sam's did. Sam, he was always apologizing about it, too. You could see +it made him feel real bad to think his colour was so stubborn. He felt +like it wasn't being polite to the doctor and me, Sam did, fur his skin +to act that-a-way. He was a willing nigger, Sam was. The doctor, he says +he will find out the right stuff if he has to start at the letter A and +work Sam through every drug in the hull blame alphabet down to Z. + +Which he finally struck it. I don't exactly know what she had in her, +but she was a mixture of some kind. The only trouble with her was she +didn't work equal and even--left Sam's face looking peeled and spotty in +places. But still, in them spots, Sam was six shades lighter. +The doctor says that is jest what he wants, that there +passing on-to-the-next-cage-we-have-the-spotted-girocutus-look, as he +calls it. The chocolate brown and the lighter spots side by side, he +says, made a regular Before and After out of Sam's face, and was the +best advertisement you could have. + +Then we goes and has a talk with Doctor Jackson himself. Doctor Kirby +has the idea mebby he will put some money into it. Doctor Jackson was +setting on his front veranda with his chair tilted back, and his feet, +with red carpet slippers on 'em, was on the railing, and he was smoking +one of these long black cigars that comes each one in a little glass +tube all by itself. He looks Sam over very thoughtful, and he says: + +"Yes, it will do the work well enough. I can see that. But will it +sell?" + +Doctor Kirby makes him quite a speech. I never hearn him make a better +one. Doctor Jackson he listens very calm, with his thumbs in the +armholes of his vest, and moving his eyebrows up and down like he +enjoyed it. But he don't get excited none. Finally Doctor Kirby says he +will undertake to show that it will sell--me and him will take a trip +down into the black country ourselves and show what can be done with it, +and take Sam along fur an object lesson. + +Well, they was a lot of rag-chewing. Doctor Jackson don't warm up none, +and he asts a million questions. Like how much it costs a bottle to make +it, and what was our idea how much it orter sell fur. He says finally +if we can sell a certain number of bottles in so long a time he will put +some money into it. Only, he says, they will be a stock company, and he +will have to have fifty-one per cent. of the stock, or he won't put no +money into it. He says if things go well he will let Doctor Kirby be +manager of that company, and let him have some stock in it too, and he +will be president and treasurer of it himself. + +Doctor Kirby, he didn't like that, and said so. Said HE was going to +organize that stock company, and control it himself. But Doctor Jackson +said he never put money into nothing he couldn't run. So it was settled +we would give the stuff a try-out and report to him. Before we went away +from there it looked to me like Doctor Kirby and me was going to work +fur this here Doctor Jackson, instead of making all them there millions +fur ourselves. Which I didn't take much to that Anti-Curl man myself; he +was so cold-blooded like. + +I didn't like the scheme itself any too well, neither. Not any way you +could look at it. In the first place it seemed like a mean trick on the +niggers. Then I didn't much believe we could get away with it. + +The more I looked him over the more I seen Doctor Kirby had changed +considerable. When I first knowed him he liked to hear himself talking +and he liked to live free and easy and he liked to be running around +the country and all them things, more'n he liked to be making money. +Of course, he wanted it; but that wasn't the ONLY thing he was into the +Sagraw game fur. If he had money, he was free with it and would help +most any one out of a hole. But he wasn't thinking it and talking it all +the time then. + +But now he was thinking money and dreaming money and talking of nothing +but how to get it. And planning to make it out of skinning them niggers. +He didn't care a dern how he worked on their feelings to get it. He +didn't even seem to care whether he killed Sam trying them drugs onto +him. He wanted MONEY, and he wanted it so bad he was ready and willing +to take up with most any wild scheme to make it. + +They was something about him now that didn't fit in much with the Doctor +Kirby I had knowed. It seemed like he had spells when he saw himself how +he had changed. He wasn't gay and joking all the time like he had been +before, neither. I guess the doctor was getting along toward fifty years +old. I suppose he thought if he was ever going to get anything out of +his gift of the gab he better settle down to something, and quit fooling +around, and do it right away. But it looked to me like he might never +turn the trick. Fur he was drinking right smart all the time. Drinking +made him think a lot, and thinking was making him look old. He was +more'n one year older than he had been a year ago. + +He kept a quart bottle in his room now. The night after we had took Sam +to see Doctor Jackson we was setting in his room, and he was hitting it +purty hard. + +"Danny," he says to me, after a while, like he was talking out loud to +himself too, "what did you think of Doctor Jackson?" + +"I don't like him much," I says. + +"Nor I," he says, frowning, and takes a drink. Then he says, after quite +a few minutes of frowning and thinking, under his breath like: "He's a +blame sight more decent than I am, for all of that." + +"Why?" I asts him. + +"Because Doctor Jackson," he says, "hasn't the least idea that he ISN'T +decent, and getting his money in a decent way. While at one time I +was--" + +He breaks off and don't say what he was. I asts him. "I was going to +say a gentleman," he says, "but on reflection, I doubt if I was ever +anything but a cheap imitation. I never heard a man say that he was +a gentleman at one time, that I didn't doubt him. Also," he goes on, +working himself into a better humour again with the sound of his own +voice, "if I HAD ever been a gentleman at any time, enough of it would +surely have stuck to me to keep me out of partnership with a man who +cheats niggers." + +He takes another drink and says even twenty years of running around the +country couldn't of took all the gentleman out of him like this, if he +had ever been one, fur you can break, you can scatter the vase if you +will, but the smell of the roses will stick round it still. + +I seen now the kind of conversations he is always having with himself +when he gets jest so drunk and is thinking hard. Only this time it +happens to be out loud. + +"What is a gentleman?" I asts him, thinking if he wasn't one it might +take his mind off himself a little to tell me. "What MAKES one?" + +"Authorities differ," says Doctor Kirby, slouching down in his chair, +and grinning like he knowed a joke he wasn't going to tell no one. "I +heard Doctor Jackson describe himself that way the other day." + +Well, speaking personal, I never had smelled none of roses. I wasn't +nothing but trash myself, so being a gentleman didn't bother me one way +or the other. The only reason I didn't want to see them niggers bunked +so very bad was only jest because it was such a low-down, ornery kind of +trick. + +"It ain't too late," I says, "to pull out of this nigger scheme yet and +get into something more honest." + +"I don't know," he says thoughtful. "I think perhaps it IS too late." +And he sets there looking like a man that is going over a good many +years of life in his mind. Purty soon he says: + +"As far as honesty goes--it isn't that so much, O +Daniel-come-to-judgment! It's about as honest as most medicine games. +It's--" He stopped and frowned agin. + +"What is it?" + +"It's their being NIGGERS," he says. + +That made the difference fur me, too. I dunno how, nor why. + +"I've tried nearly everything but blackmail," he says, "and I'll +probably be trying that by this time next year, if this scheme fails. +But there's something about their being niggers that makes me sick of +this thing already--just as the time has come to make the start. And +I don't know WHY it should, either." He slipped another big slug of +whiskey into him, and purty soon he asts me: + +"Do you know what's the matter with me?" + +I asts him what. + +"I'm too decent to be a crook," he says, "and too crooked to be decent. +You've got to be one thing or the other steady to make it pay." + +Then he says: + +"Did you ever hear of the descent to Avernus, Danny?" + +"I might," I tells him, "and then agin I mightn't, but if I ever did, I +don't remember what she is. What is she?" + +"It's the chute to the infernal regions," he says. "They say it's +greased. But it isn't. It's really no easier sliding down than it is +climbing back." + +Well, I seen this nigger scheme of our'n wasn't the only thing that was +troubling Doctor Kirby that night. It was thinking of all the schemes +like it in the years past he had went into, and how he had went into 'em +light-hearted and more'n half fur fun when he was a young man, and +now he wasn't fitten fur nothing else but them kind of schemes, and he +knowed it. He was seeing himself how he had been changing, like another +person could of seen it. That's the main trouble with drinking to fergit +yourself. You fergit the wrong part of yourself. + +I left him purty soon, and went along to bed. My room was next to his'n, +and they was a door between, so the two could be rented together if +wanted, I suppose. I went to sleep and woke up agin with a start out of +a dream that had in it millions and millions and millions of niggers, +every way you looked, and their mouths was all open red and their eyes +walled white, fit to scare you out of your shoes. + +I hearn Doctor Kirby moving around in his room. But purty soon he sets +down and begins to talk to himself. Everything else was quiet. I was +kind of worried about him, he had taken so much, and hoped he wouldn't +get a notion to go downtown that time o' night. So I thinks I will see +how he is acting, and steps over to the door between the rooms. + +The key happened to be on my side, and I unlocked it. But she only opens +a little ways, fur his wash stand was near to the hinge end of the door. + +I looked through. He is setting by the table, looking at a woman's +picture that is propped up on it, and talking to himself. He has never +hearn me open the door, he is so interested. But somehow, he don't look +drunk. He looks like he had fought his way up out of it, somehow--his +forehead was sweaty, and they was one intoxicated lock of hair sticking +to it; but that was the only un-sober-looking thing about him. I guess +his legs would of been unsteady if he had of tried to walk, but his +intellects was uncomfortable and sober. + +He is still keeping up that same old argument with himself, or with the +picture. + +"It isn't any use," I hearn him say, looking at the picture. + +Then he listened like he hearn it answering him. "Yes, you always +say just that--just that," he says. "And I don't know why I keep on +listening to you." + +The way he talked, and harkened fur an answer, when they was nothing +there to answer, give me the creeps. + +"You don't help me," he goes on, "you don't help me at all. You only +make it harder. Yes, this thing is worse than the others. I know that. +But I want money--and fool things like this HAVE sometimes made it. No, +I won't give it up. No, there's no use making any more promises now. I +know myself now. And you ought to know me by this time, too. Why can't +you let me alone altogether? I should think, when you see what I am, +you'd let me be. + +"God help you! if you'd only stay away it wouldn't be so hard to go to +hell!" + + + + + +CHAPTER XVI + + +There's a lot of counties in Georgia where the blacks are equal in +number to the whites, and two or three counties where the blacks number +over the whites by two to one. It was fur a little town in one of the +latter that we pinted ourselves, Doctor Kirby and me and Sam--right into +the blackest part of the black belt. + +That country is full of big-sized plantations, where they raise cotton, +cotton, cotton, and then MORE cotton. Some of 'em raises fruit, too, and +other things, of course; but cotton is the main stand-by, and it looks +like it always will be. + +Some places there shows that things can't be so awful much changed since +slavery days, and most of the niggers are sure enough country niggers +yet. Some rents their land right out from the owners, and some of 'em +crops it on the shares, and very many of 'em jest works as hands. A lot +of 'em don't do nigh so well now as they did when their bosses was their +masters, they tell me; and then agin, some has done right well on their +own hook. They intrusted me, because I never had been use to looking at +so many niggers. Every way you turn there they is niggers and then more +niggers. + +Them that thinks they is awful easy to handle out of a natcheral respect +fur white folks has got another guess coming. They ain't so bad to get +along with if you keep it most pintedly shoved into their heads they +IS niggers. You got to do that especial in the black belt, jest because +they IS so many of 'em. They is children all their lives, mebby, till +some one minute of craziness may strike one of them, and then he is a +devil temporary. Mebby, when the crazy fit has passed, some white woman +is worse off than if she was dead, or mebby she IS dead, or mebby a +loonatic fur life, and that nigger is a candidate fur a lynching bee and +ginerally elected by an anonymous majority. + +Not that ALL niggers is that-a-way, nor HALF of 'em, nor very MANY of +'em, even--but you can never tell WHICH nigger is going to be. So in the +black belt the white folks is mighty pertic'ler who comes along fooling +with their niggers. Fur you can never tell what turn a nigger's thoughts +will take, once anything at all stirs 'em up. + +We didn't know them things then, Doctor Kirby and me didn't. We didn't +know we was moving light-hearted right into the middle of the biggest +question that has ever been ast. Which I disremember exactly how that +nigger question is worded, but they is always asting it in the South, +and answering of it different ways. We hadn't no idea how suspicious the +white people in them awful black spots on the map can get over any one +that comes along talking to their niggers. We didn't know anything about +niggers much, being both from the North, except what Doctor Kirby had +counted on when he made his medicine, and THAT he knowed second-handed +from other people. We didn't take 'em very serious, nor all the talk we +hearn about 'em down South. + +But even at that we mightn't of got into any trouble if it hadn't of +been fur old Bishop Warren. But that is getting ahead of the story. + +We got into that little town--I might jest as well call it +Cottonville--jest about supper time. Cottonville is a little place +of not more'n six hundred people. I guess four hundred of 'em must be +niggers. + +After supper we got acquainted with purty nigh all the prominent +citizens in town. They was friendly with us, and we was friendly with +them. Georgia had jest went fur prohibition a few months before that, +and they hadn't opened up these here near-beer bar-rooms in the little +towns yet, like they had in Atlanta and the big towns. Georgia had went +prohibition so the niggers couldn't get whiskey, some said; but others +said they didn't know WHAT its excuse was. Them prominent citizens was +loafing around the hotel and every now and then inviting each other very +mysterious into a back room that use to be a pool parlour. They had +been several jugs come to town by express that day. We went back several +times ourselves, and soon began to get along purty well with them +prominent citizens. + +Talking about this and that they finally edges around to the one +thing everybody is sure to get to talking about sooner or later in the +South--niggers. And then they gets to telling us about this here Bishop +Warren I has mentioned. + +He was a nigger bishop, Bishop Warren was, and had a good deal of white +blood into him, they say. An ashy-coloured nigger, with bumps on his +face, fat as a possum, and as cunning as a fox. He had plenty of brains +into his head, too; but his brains had turned sour in his head the last +few years, and the bishop had crazy streaks running through his sense +now, like fat and lean mixed in a slab of bacon. He used to be friends +with a lot of big white folks, and the whites depended on him at one +time to preach orderliness and obedience and agriculture and being +in their place to the niggers. Fur years they thought he preached +that-a-way. He always DID preach that-a-way when any whites was around, +and he set on platforms sometimes with white preachers, and he got good +donations fur schemes of different kinds. But gradual the suspicion got +around that when he was alone with a lot of niggers his nigger blood +would get the best of him, and what he preached wasn't white supremacy +at all, but hopefulness of being equal. + +So the whites had fell away from him, and then his graft was gone, +and then his brains turned sour in his head and got to working and +fermenting in it like cider getting hard, and he made a few bad breaks +by not being careful what he said before white people. But the niggers +liked him all the better fur that. + +They always had been more or less hell in the bishop's heart. He had +brains and he knowed it, and the white folks had let him see THEY knowed +it, too. And he was part white, and his white forefathers had been big +men in their day, and yet, in spite of all of that, he had to herd with +niggers and to pertend he liked it. He was both white and black in his +feelings about things, so some of his feelings counterdicted others, and +one of these here race riots went on all the time in his own insides. +But gradual he got to the place where they was spells he hated both +whites and niggers, but he hated the whites the worst. And now, in the +last two or three years, since his crazy streaks had growed as big +as his sensible streaks, or bigger, they was no telling what he would +preach to them niggers. But whatever he preached most of them would +believe. It might be something crazy and harmless, or it might be crazy +and harmful. + +He had been holding some revival meetings in nigger churches right there +in that very county, and was at it not fur away from there right then. +The idea had got around he was preaching some most unusual foolishness +to the blacks. Fur the niggers was all acting like they knowed something +too good to mention to the white folks, all about there. But some white +men had gone to one of the meetings, and the bishop had preached one of +his old-time sermons whilst they was there, telling the niggers to be +orderly and agriculturous--he was considerable of a fox yet. But he +and the rest of the niggers was so DERNED anxious to be thought +agriculturous and servitudinous that the whites smelt a rat, and wished +he would go, fur they didn't want to chase him without they had to. + +Jest when we was getting along fine one of them prominent citizens asts +the doctor was we there figgering on buying some land? + +"No," says the doctor, "we wasn't." + +They was silence fur quite a little spell. Each prominent citizen had +mebby had his hopes of unloading some. They all looks a little sad, and +then another prominent citizen asts us into the back room agin. + +When we returns to the front room another prominent citizen makes +a little speech that was quite beautiful to hear, and says mebby we +represents some new concern that ain't never been in them parts and is +figgering on buying cotton. + +"No," the doctor says, "we ain't cotton buyers." + +Another prominent citizen has the idea mebby we is figgering on one of +these here inter-Reuben trolley lines, so the Rubes in one village can +ride over and visit the Rubes in the next. And another one thinks mebby +we is figgering on a telephone line. And each one makes a very eloquent +little speech about them things, and rings in something about our fair +Southland. And when both of them misses their guess it is time fur +another visit to the back room. + +Was we selling something? + +We was. + +Was we selling fruit trees? + +We wasn't. + +Finally, after every one has a chew of natcheral leaf tobaccer all +around, one prominent citizen makes so bold as to ast us very courteous +if he might enquire what it was we was selling. + +The doctor says medicine. + +Then they was a slow grin went around that there crowd of prominent +citizens. And once agin we has to make a trip to that back room. Fur +they are all sure we must be taking orders fur something to beat that +there prohibition game. When they misses that guess they all gets kind +of thoughtful and sad. A couple of 'em don't take no more interest in +us, but goes along home sighing-like, as if it wasn't no difference WHAT +we sold as long as it wasn't what they was looking fur. + +But purty soon one of them asts: + +"What KIND of medicine?" + +The doctor, he tells about it. + +When he finishes you never seen such a change as had come onto the faces +of that bunch. I never seen such disgusted prominent citizens in my hull +life. They looked at each other embarrassed, like they had been ketched +at something ornery. And they went out one at a time, saying good night +to the hotel-keeper and in the most pinted way taking no notice of us at +all. It certainly was a chill. We sees something is wrong, and we begins +to have a notion of what it is. + +The hotel-keeper, he spits out his chew, and goes behind his little +counter and takes a five-cent cigar out of his little show case and +bites the end off careful. Then he leans his elbows onto his counter and +reads our names to himself out of the register book, and looks at us, +and from us to the names, and from the names to us, like he is trying to +figger out how he come to let us write 'em there. Then he wants to know +where we come from before we come to Atlanta, where we had registered +from. We tells him we is from the North. He lights his cigar like he +didn't think much of that cigar and sticks it in his mouth and looks at +us so long in an absent-minded kind of way it goes out. + +Then he says we orter go back North. + +"Why?" asts the doctor. + +He chewed his cigar purty nigh up to the middle of it before he +answered, and when he spoke it was a soft kind of a drawl--not mad or +loud--but like they was sorrowful thoughts working in him. + +"Yo' all done struck the wo'st paht o' the South to peddle yo' niggah +medicine in, sah. I reckon yo' must love 'em a heap to be that concerned +over the colour of their skins." + +And he turned his back on us and went into the back room all by himself. + +We seen we was in wrong in that town. The doctor says it will be no use +trying to interduce our stuff there, and we might as well leave there +in the morning and go over to Bairdstown, which was a little place about +ten miles off the railroad, and make our start there. + +So we got a rig the next morning and drove acrost the country. No one +bid us good-bye, neither, and Doctor Kirby says it's a wonder they +rented us the rig. + +But before we started that morning we noticed a funny thing. We hadn't +so much as spoke to any nigger, except our own nigger Sam, and he +couldn't of told ALL the niggers in that town about the stuff to turn +niggers white, even if he had set up all night to do it. But every last +nigger we saw looked like he knowed something about us. Even after we +left town our nigger driver hailed two or three niggers in the road that +acted that-away. It seemed like they was all awful polite to us. And +yet they was different in their politeness than they was to them Georgia +folks, which is their natcheral-born bosses--acted more familiar, +somehow, as if they knowed we must be thinking about the same thing they +was thinking about. + +About half-way to Bairdstown we stopped at a place to get a drink of +water. Seemingly the white folks was away fur the day, and an old nigger +come up and talked to our driver while Sam and us was at the well. + +I seen them cutting their eyes at us, whilst they was unchecking the +hosses to let them drink too, and then I hearn the one that belonged +there say: + +"Is yo' SUAH dat hit air dem?" + +"SUAH!" says the driver. + +"How-come yo' so all-powerful SUAH about hit?" + +The driver pertended the harness needed some fixing, and they went +around to the other side of the team and tinkered with one of the +traces, a-talking to each other. I hearn the old nigger say, kind of +wonderized: + +"Is dey a-gwine dar NOW?" + +Sam, he was pulling a bucket of water up out of the well fur us with a +windlass. The doctor says to him: + +"Sam, what does all this mean?" + +Sam, he pertends he don't know what the doctor is talking about. +But Doctor Kirby he finally pins him down. Sam hemmed and hawed +considerable, making up his mind whether he better lie to us or not. +Then, all of a sudden, he busted out into an awful fit of laughing, and +like to of fell in the well. Seemingly he decided fur to tell us the +truth. + +From what Sam says that there bishop has been holding revival meetings +in Big Bethel, which is a nigger church right on the edge of Bairdstown, +and niggers fur miles around has been coming night after night, and some +of them whooping her up daytimes too. And the bishop has worked himself +up the last three or four nights to where he has been perdicting and +prophesying, fur the spirit has hit the meeting hard. + +What he has been prophesying, Sam says, is the coming of a Messiah fur +the nigger race--a new Elishyah, he says, as will lead them from out'n +their inequality and bring 'em up to white standards right on the spot. +The whites has had their Messiah, the bishop says, but the niggers ain't +never had none of their SPECIAL OWN yet. And they needs one bad, and one +is sure a-coming. + +It seems the whites don't know yet jest what the bishop's been +a-preaching. But every nigger fur miles on every side of Big Bethel is +a-listening and a-looking fur signs and omens, and has been fur two, +three days now. This here half-crazy bishop has got 'em worked up to +where they is ready to believe anything, or do anything. + +So the night before when the word got out in Cottonville that we had +some scheme to make the niggers white, the niggers there took up with +the idea that the doctor was mebby the feller the bishop had been +prophesying about, and for a sign and a omen and a miracle of his grace +and powers was going out to Big Bethel to turn 'em white. Poor devils, +they didn't see but what being turned white orter be a part of what they +was to get from the coming of that there Messiah. + +News spreads among niggers quicker than among whites. No one knows how +they do it. But I've hearn tales about how when war times was there, +they would frequent have the news of a big fight before the white folks' +papers would. Soldiers has told me that in them there Philippine Islands +we conquered from Spain, where they is so much nigger blood mixed up +with other kinds in the islanders, this mysterious spreading around of +news is jest the same. And jest since nine o'clock the night before, the +news had spread fur miles around that Bishop Warren's Messiah was on his +way, and was going fur to turn the bishop white to show his power and +grace, and he had with him one he had turned part white, and that was +Sam, and one he had turned clear white, and that was me. And they was to +be signs and wonders to behold at Big Bethel, with pillars of cloud and +sounds of trumpets and fire squirting down from heaven, like it always +use to be in them old Bible days, and them there niggers to be led +singing and shouting and rejoicing into a land of milk and honey, +forevermore, AMEN! + +That's what Sam says they are looking fur, dozens and scores and +hundreds of them niggers round about. Sam, he had lived in town five +or six years, and he looked down on all these here ignoramus country +niggers. So he busts out laughing at first, and he pertends like he +don't take no stock in any of it. Besides, he knowed well enough he +wasn't spotted up by no Messiah, but it was the dope in the bottles done +it. But as he told about them goings-on Sam got more and more interested +and warmed up to it, and his voice went into a kind of a sing-song like +he was prophesying himself. And the other two niggers quit pertending to +fool around the team and edged a little closeter, and a little closeter +yet, with their mouths open and their heads a-nodding and the whites of +their eyes a-rolling. + +Fur my part, I never hearn such a lot of dern foolishness in all my +life. But the doctor, he says nothing at all. He listens to Sam ranting +and rolling out big words and raving, and only frowns. He climbs back +into the buggy agin silent, and all the rest of the way to Bairdstown +he set there with that scowl on his face. I guesses he was thinking now, +the way things had shaped up, he wouldn't sell none of his stuff at all +without he fell right in with the reception chance had planned fur him. +But if he did fall in with it, and pertend like he was a Messiah to +them niggers, he could get all they had. He was mebby thinking how much +ornerier that would make the hull scheme. + + + + + +CHAPTER XVII + + +We got to Bairdstown early enough, but we didn't go to work there. We +wasted all that day. They was something working in the doctor's head he +wasn't talking about. I supposed he was getting cold feet on the hull +proposition. Anyhow, he jest set around the little tavern in that place +and done nothing all afternoon. + +The weather was fine, and we set out in front. We hadn't set there +more'n an hour till I could tell we was being noticed by the blacks, +not out open and above board. But every now and then one or two or three +would pass along down the street, and lazy about and take a look at +us. They pertended they wasn't noticing, but they was. The word had got +around, and they was a feeling in the air I didn't like at all. Too much +caged-up excitement among the niggers. The doctor felt it too, I could +see that. But neither one of us said anything about it to the other. + +Along toward dusk we takes a walk. They was a good-sized crick at the +edge of that little place, and on it an old-fashioned worter mill. Above +the mill a little piece was a bridge. We crossed it and walked along a +road that follered the crick bank closte fur quite a spell. + +It wasn't much of a town--something betwixt a village and a +settlement--although they was going to run a branch of the railroad over +to it before very long. It had had a chancet to get a railroad once, +years before that. But it had said then it didn't want no railroad. So +until lately every branch built through that part of the country grinned +very sarcastic and give it the go-by. + +They was considerable woods standing along the crick, and around a turn +in the road we come onto Sam, all of a sudden, talking with another +nigger. Sam was jest a-laying it off to that nigger, but he kind of +hushed as we come nearer. Down the road quite a little piece was a +good-sized wooden building that never had been painted and looked like +it was a big barn. Without knowing it the doctor and me had been pinting +ourselves right toward Big Bethel. + +The nigger with Sam he yells out, when he sees us: + +"Glory be! HYAH dey comes! Hyah dey comes NOW!" + +And he throwed up his arms, and started on a lope up the road toward the +church, singing out every ten or fifteen yards. A little knot of niggers +come out in front of the church when they hearn him coming. + +Sam, he stood his ground, and waited fur us to come up to him, kind of +apologetic and sneaking--looking about something or other. + +"What kind of lies have you been telling these niggers, Sam?" says the +doctor, very sharp and short and mad-like. + +Sam, he digs a stone out'n the road with the toe of his shoe, and kind +of grins to himself, still looking sheepish. But he says he opinionates +he been telling them nothing at all. + +"I dunno how-come dey get all dem nigger notions in dey fool haid," Sam +says, "but dey all waitin' dar inside de chu'ch do'--some of de mos' +faiful an' de mos' pra'rful ones o' de Big Bethel cong'gation been dar +fo' de las' houah a-waitin' an' a-watchin', spite o' de fac' dat reg'lah +meetin' ain't gwine ter be called twell arter supper. De bishop, he dar +too. Dey got some dese hyah coal-ile lamps dar des inside de chu'ch do' +an' dey been keepin' on 'em lighted, daytimes an' night times, fo' two +days now, kaze dey say dey ain't gwine fo' ter be cotched napping when +de bridegroom COMeth. Yass, SAH!--dey's ten o' dese hyah vergims dar, +five of 'em sleepin' an' five of 'em watchin', an' a-takin' tuhns at +hit, an' mebby dat how-come free or fouah dey bes' young colo'hed mens +been projickin' aroun' dar all arternoon, a-helpin' dem dat's a-waitin' +twell de bridegroom COM eth!" + +We seen a little knot of them, down the road there in front of the +church, gathering around the nigger that had been with Sam. They all +starts toward us. But one man steps out in front of them all, and turns +toward them and holds his hands up, and waves them back. They all stops +in their tracks. + +Then he turns his face toward us, and comes slow and sollum down the +road in our direction, walking with a cane, and moving very dignified. +He was a couple of hundred yards away. + +But as he come closeter we gradually seen him plainer and plainer. He +was a big man, and stout, and dressed very neat in the same kind of rig +as white bishops wear, with one of these white collars that buttons in +the back. I suppose he was coming on to meet us alone, because no one +was fitten fur to give us the first welcome but himself. + +Well, it was all dern foolishness, and it was hard to believe it could +all happen, and they ain't so many places in this here country it COULD +happen. But fur all of it being foolishness, when he come down the road +toward us so dignified and sollum and slow I ketched myself fur a minute +feeling like we really had been elected to something and was going to +take office soon. And Sam, as the bishop come closeter and closeter, got +to jerking and twitching with the excitement that he had been keeping +in--and yet all the time Sam knowed it was dope and works and not faith +that had made him spotted that-a-way. + +He stops, the bishop does, about ten yards from us and looks us over. + +"Ah yo' de gennleman known ter dis hyah sinful genehation by de style +an' de entitlemint o' Docto' Hahtley Kirby?" he asts the doctor very +ceremonious and grand. + +The doctor give him a look that wasn't very encouraging, but he nodded +to him. + +"Will yo' dismiss yo' sehvant in ordeh dat we kin hol' convehse an' +communion in de midst er privacy?" + +The doctor, he nods to Sam, and Sam moseys along toward the church. + +"Now, then," says the doctor, sudden and sharp, "take off your hat and +tell me what you want." + +The bishop's hand goes up to his head with a jerk before he thought. +Then it stops there, while him and the doctor looks at each other. The +bishop's mouth opens like he was wondering, but he slowly pulls his +hat off and stands there bare-headed in the road. But he wasn't really +humble, that bishop. + +"Now," says the doctor, "tell me in as straight talk as you've got what +all this damned foolishness among you niggers means." + +A queer kind of look passed over the bishop's face. He hadn't expected +to be met jest that way, mebby. Whether he himself had really believed +in the coming of that there new Messiah he had been perdicting, I never +could settle in my mind. Mebby he had been getting ready to pass HIMSELF +off fur one before we come along and the niggers all got the fool idea +Doctor Kirby was it. Before the bishop spoke agin you could see his +craziness and his cunningness both working in his face. But when he did +speak he didn't quit being ceremonious nor dignified. + +"De wohd has gone fo'th among de faiful an' de puah in heaht," he says, +"dat er man has come accredited wi' signs an' wi' mahvels an' de poweh +o' de sperrit fo' to lay his han' on de sons o' Ham an' ter make 'em des +de same in colluh as de yuther sons of ea'th." + +"Then that word is a lie," says the doctor. "I DID come here to try out +some stuff to change the colour of negro skins. That's all. And I find +your idiotic followers are all stirred up and waiting for some kind of a +miracle monger. What you have been preaching to them, you know best. Is +that all you want to know?" + +The bishop hems and haws and fiddles with his stick, and then he says: + +"Suh, will dish yeah prepa'shun SHO'LY do de wohk?" Doctor Kirby tells +him it will do the work all right. + +And then the bishop, after beating around the bush some more, comes out +with his idea. Whether he expected there would be any Messiah come or +not, of course he knowed the doctor wasn't him. But he is willing to +boost the doctor's game as long as it boosts HIS game. He wants to be in +on the deal. He wants part of the graft. He wants to get together with +the doctor on a plan before the doctor sees the niggers. And if the +doctor don't want to keep on with the miracle end of it, the bishop +shows him how he could do him good with no miracle attachment. Fur he +has an awful holt on them niggers, and his say-so will sell thousands +and thousands of bottles. What he is looking fur jest now is his little +take-out. + +That was his craftiness and his cunningness working in him. But all of +a sudden one of his crazy streaks come bulging to the surface. It come +with a wild, eager look in his eyes. + +"Suh," he cries out, all of a sudden, "ef yo' kin make me white, fo' +Gawd sakes, do hit! Do hit! Ef yo' does, I gwine ter bless yo' all yo' +days! + +"Yo' don' know--no one kin guess or comperhen'--what des bein' white +would mean ter me! Lawd! Lawd!" he says, his voice soft-spoken, but more +eager than ever as he went on, and pleading something pitiful to hear, +"des think of all de Caucasian blood in me! Gawd knows de nights er my +youth I'se laid awake twell de dawn come red in de Eas' a-cryin' out ter +Him only fo' ter be white! DES TER BE WHITE! Don' min' dem black, black +niggers dar--don' think er DEM--dey ain't wuth nothin' nor fitten fo' +no fate but what dey got-- But me! What's done kep' me from gwine ter de +top but dat one thing: _I_ WASN'T WHITE! Hit air too late now--too late +fo' dem ambitions I done trifle with an' shove behin' me--hit's too late +fo' dat! But ef I was des ter git one li'l year o' hit--ONE LI'L YEAR O' +BEIN' WHITE!--befo' I died--" + +And he went on like that, shaking and stuttering there in the road, like +a fit had struck him, crazy as a loon. But he got hold of himself enough +to quit talking, in a minute, and his cunning come back to him before +he was through trembling. Then the doctor says slow and even, but not +severe: + +"You go back to your people now, bishop, and tell them they've made a +mistake about me. And if you can, undo the harm you've done with this +Messiah business. As far as this stuff of mine is concerned, there's +none of it for you nor for any other negro. You tell them that. There's +none of it been sold yet--and there never will be." + +Then we turned away and left him standing there in the road, still with +his hat off and his face working. + +Walking back toward the little tavern the doctor says: + +"Danny, this is the end of this game. These people down here and that +half-cracked, half-crooked old bishop have made me see a few things about +the Afro-American brother. It wasn't a good scheme in the first place. +And this wasn't the place to start it going, anyhow--I should have tried +the niggers in the big towns. But I'm out of it now, and I'm glad of +it. What we want to do is to get away from here to-morrow--go back to +Atlanta and fix up a scheme to rob some widows and orphans, or something +half-way respectable like that." + +Well, I drew a long breath. I was with Doctor Kirby in everything he +done, fur he was my friend, and I didn't intend to quit him. But I was +glad we was out of this, and hadn't sold none of that dope. We both +felt better because we hadn't. All them millions we was going to +make--shucks! We didn't neither one of us give a dern about them getting +away from us. All we wanted was jest to get away from there and not get +mixed up with no nigger problems any more. We eat supper, and we set +around a while, and we went to bed purty middling early, so as to get a +good start in the morning. + +We got up early, but early as it was the devil had been up earlier in +that neighbourhood. About four o'clock that morning a white woman about +a half a mile from the village had been attacked by a nigger. They was +doubt as to whether she would live, but if she lived they wasn't no +doubts she would always be more or less crazy. Fur besides everything +else, he had beat her insensible. And he had choked her nearly to death. +The country-side was up, with guns and pistols looking fur that nigger. +It wasn't no trouble guessing what would happen to him when they ketched +him, neither. + +"And," says Doctor Kirby, when we hearn of it, "I hope to high heaven +they DO catch him!" + +They wasn't much doubt they would, either. They was already beating up +the woods and bushes and gangs was riding up and down the roads, and +every nigger's house fur miles around was being searched and watched. + +We soon seen we would have trouble getting hosses and a rig in the +village to take us to the railroad. Many of the hosses was being ridden +in the man-hunt. And most of the men who might have done the driving was +busy at that too. The hotel-keeper himself had left his place standing +wide open and went out. We didn't get any breakfast neither. + +"Danny," says the doctor, "we'll just put enough money to pay the bill +in an envelope on the register here, and strike out on shank's ponies. +It's only nine or ten miles to the railroad--we'll walk." + +"But how about our stuff?" I asts him. We had two big cases full of +sample bottles of that dope, besides our suit cases. + +"Hang the dope!" says the doctor, "I don't ever want to see it or hear +of it again! We'll leave it here. Put the things out of your suit case +into mine, and leave that here too. Sam can carry mine. I want to be on +the move." + +So we left, with Sam carrying the one suit case. It wasn't nine in the +morning yet, and we was starting out purty empty fur a long walk. + +"Sam," says the doctor, as we was passing that there Big Bethel +church--and it showed up there silent and shabby in the morning, like a +old coloured man that knows a heap more'n he's going to tell--"Sam, were +you at the meeting here last night?" + +"Yass, suh!" + +"I suppose it was a pretty tame affair after they found out their Elisha +wasn't coming after all?" + +Sam, he walled his eyes, and then he kind of chuckled. + +"Well, suh," he says, "I 'spicions de mos' on 'em don' know dat YIT!" + +The doctor asts him what he means. + +It seems the bishop must of done some thinking after we left him in the +road or on his way back to that church. They had all begun to believe +that there Elishyah was on the way to 'em, and the bishop's credit was +more or less wrapped up with our being it. It was true he hadn't started +that belief; but it was believed, and he didn't dare to stop it now. +Fur, if he stopped it, they would all think he had fell down on his +prophetics, even although he hadn't prophesied jest exactly us. He was +in a tight place, that bishop, but I bet you could always depend on him +to get out of it with his flock. So what he told them niggers at the +meeting last night was that he brung 'em a message from Elishyah, Sam +says, the Elishyah that was to come. And the message was that the time +was not ripe fur him to reveal himself as Elishyah unto the eyes of all +men, fur they had been too much sinfulness and wickedness and walking +into the ways of evil, right amongst that very congregation, and +disobedience of the bishop, which was their guide. And he had sent 'em +word, Elishyah had, that the bishop was his trusted servant, and into +the keeping of the bishop was give the power to deal with his people and +prepare them fur the great day to come. And the bishop would give the +word of his coming. He was a box, that bishop was, in spite of his crazy +streaks; and he had found a way to make himself stronger than ever with +his bunch out of the very kind of thing that would have spoiled most +people's graft. They had had a big meeting till nearly morning, and the +power had hit 'em strong. Sam told us all about it. + +But the thing that seemed to interest the doctor, and made him frown, +was the idea that all them niggers round about there still had the idea +he was the feller that had been prophesied to come. All except Sam, +mebby. Sam had spells when he was real sensible, and other spells when +he was as bad as the believingest of them all. + +It was a fine day, and really joyous to be a-walking. It would of been +a good deal joyouser if we had had some breakfast, but we figgered we +would stop somewheres at noon and lay in a good, square, country meal. + +That wasn't such a very thick settled country. But everybody seemed to +know about the manhunt that was going on, here, there, and everywhere. +People would come down to the road side as we passed, and gaze after us. +Or mebby ast us if we knowed whether he had been ketched yet. Women and +kids mostly, or old men, but now and then a younger man too. We noticed +they wasn't no niggers to speak of that wasn't busier'n all get out, +working at something or other, that day. + +They is considerable woods in that country yet, though lots has been +cut off. But they was sometimes right long stretches where they would +be woods on both sides of the road, more or less thick, with underbrush +between the trees. We tramped along, each busy thinking his own +thoughts, and having a purty good time jest doing that without there +being no use of talking. I was thinking that I liked the doctor better +fur turning his back on all this game, jest when he might of made some +sort of a deal with the bishop and really made some money out of it +in the end. He never was so good a business man as he thought he was, +Doctor Kirby wasn't. He always could make himself think he was. But when +it come right down to brass tacks he wasn't. You give him a scheme that +would TALK well, the kind of a josh talk he liked to get off fur his own +enjoyment, and he would take up with it every time instead of one that +had more promise of money to it if it was worked harder. He was thinking +of the TALK more'n he was of the money, mostly; and he was always saying +something about art fur art's sake, which was plumb foolishness, fur he +never painted no pictures. Well, he never got over being more or less of +a puzzle to me. But fur some reason or other this morning he seemed to +be in a better humour with himself, after we had walked a while, than I +had seen him in fur a long time. + +We come to the top of one long hill, which it had made us sweat to +climb, and without saying nothing to each other we both stopped and took +off our hats and wiped our foreheads, and drawed long breaths, content +to stand there fur jest a minute or two and look around us. The road run +straight ahead, and dipped down, and then clumb up another hill about an +eighth of a mile in front of us. It made a little valley. Jest about +the middle, between the two hills, a crick meandered through the bottom +land. Woods growed along the crick, and along both sides of the road we +was travelling. Right nigh the crick they was another road come out +of the woods to the left-hand side, and switched into the road we was +travelling, and used the same bridge to cross the crick by. They was +three or four houses here and there, with chimbleys built up on the +outside of them, and blue smoke coming out. We stood and looked at the +sight before us and forgot all the troubles we had left behind, fur a +couple of minutes--it all looked so peaceful and quiet and homeyfied and +nice. + +"Well," says the doctor, after we had stood there a piece, "I guess we +better be moving on again, Danny." + +But jest as Sam, who was follering along behind with that suit case, +picks it up and puts it on his head agin, they come a sound, from away +off in the distance somewheres, that made him set it down quick. And we +all stops in our tracks and looks at each other. + +It was the voice of a hound dog--not so awful loud, but clear and mellow +and tuneful, and carried to us on the wind. And then in a minute it come +agin, sharper and quicker. They yells like that when they have struck a +scent. + +As we stood and looked at each other they come a crackle in the +underbrush, jest to the left of us. We turned our heads that-a-way, jest +as a nigger man give a leap to the top of a rail fence that separated +the road from the woods. He was going so fast that instead of climbing +that fence and balancing on the top and jumping off he jest simply +seemed to hit the top rail and bounce on over, like he had been throwed +out of the heart of the woods, and he fell sprawling over and over in +the road, right before our feet. + +He was onto his feet in a second, and fur a minute he stood up straight +and looked at us--an ashes-coloured nigger, ragged and bleeding from the +underbrush, red-eyed, and with slavers trickling from his red lips, and +sobbing and gasping and panting fur breath. Under his brown skin, where +his shirt was torn open acrost his chest, you could see that nigger's +heart a-beating. + +But as he looked at us they come a sudden change acrost his face--he +must of seen the doctor before, and with a sob he throwed himself on his +knees in the road and clasped his hands and held 'em out toward Doctor +Kirby. + +"ELISHyah! ELISHyah!" he sings out, rocking of his body in a kind +of tune, "reveal yo'se'f, reveal yo'se'f an' he'p me NOW! Lawd Gawd +ELISHyah, beckon fo' a CHA'iot, yo' cha'iot of FIAH! Lif' me, lif' +me--lif' me away f'um hyah in er cha'iot o' FIAH!" + +The doctor, he turned his head away, and I knowed the thought working +in him was the thought of that white woman that would always be an +idiot for life, if she lived. But his lips was dumb, and his one hand +stretched itself out toward that nigger in the road and made a wiping +motion, like he was trying fur to wipe the picture of him, and the +thought of him, off'n a slate forevermore. + +Jest then, nearer and louder and sharper, and with an eager sound, like +they knowed they almost had him now, them hounds' voices come ringing +through the woods, and with them come the mixedup shouts of men. + +"RUN!" yells Sam, waving of that suit case round his head, fur one +nigger will always try to help another no matter what he's done. "Run +fo' de branch--git yo' foots in de worter an' fling 'em off de scent!" + +He bounded down the hill, that red-eyed nigger, and left us standing +there. But before he reached the crick the whole man-hunt come busting +through the woods, the dogs a-straining at their straps. The men was all +on foot, with guns and pistols in their hands. They seen the nigger, +and they all let out a yell, and was after him. They ketched him at the +crick, and took him off along that road that turned off to the left. +I hearn later he was a member of Bishop Warren's congregation, so they +hung him right in front of Big Bethel church. + +We stood there on top of the hill and saw the chase and capture. Doctor +Kirby's face was sweating worse than when we first clumb the hill. +He was thinking about that nigger that had pleaded with him. He was +thinking also of the woman. He was glad it hadn't been up to him +personal right then and there to butt in and stop a lynching. He was +glad, fur with them two pictures in front of him he didn't know what he +would of done. + +"Thank heaven!" I hearn him say to himself. "Thank heaven that it wasn't +REALLY in my power to choose!" + + + + + +CHAPTER XVIII + + +Well, we had pork and greens fur dinner that day, with the best +corn-bread I ever eat anywheres, and buttermilk, and sweet potato pie. +We got 'em at the house of a feller named Withers--Old Daddy Withers. +Which if they was ever a nicer old man than him, or a nicer old woman +than his wife, I never run acrost 'em yet. + +They lived all alone, them Witherses, with only a couple of niggers to +help them run their farm. After we eats our dinner and Sam gets his'n +out to the kitchen, we sets out in front of the house and gets to +talking with them, and gets real well acquainted. Which we soon found +out the secret of old Daddy Withers's life--that there innocent-looking +old jigger was a poet. He was kind of proud of it and kind of shamed of +it both to oncet. The way it come out was when the doctor says one +of them quotations he is always getting off, and the old man he looks +pleased and says the rest of the piece it dropped out of straight +through. + +Then they had a great time quoting it at each other, them two, and I +seen the doctor is good to loaf around there the rest of the day, like +as not. Purty soon the old lady begins to get mighty proud-looking over +something or other, and she leans over and whispers to the old man: + +"Shall I bring it out, Lemuel?" + +The old man, he shakes his head, no. But she slips into the house +anyhow, and fetches out a little book with a pale green cover to it, and +hands it to the doctor. + +"Bless my soul," says Doctor Kirby, looking at the old man, "you don't +mean to say you write verse yourself?" + +The old man, he gets red all over his face, and up into the roots of +his white hair, and down into his white beard, and makes believe he is a +little mad at the old lady fur showing him off that-a-way. + +"Mother," he says, "yo' shouldn't have done that!" They had had a boy +years before, and he had died, but he always called her mother the same +as if the boy was living. He goes into the house and gets his pipe, +and brings it out and lights it, acting like that book of poetry was +a mighty small matter to him. But he looks at Doctor Kirby out of +the corner of his eyes, and can't keep from getting sort of eager and +trembly with his pipe; and I could see he was really anxious over what +the doctor was thinking of them poems he wrote. The doctor reads some of +'em out loud. + +Well, it was kind of home-made poetry, Old Daddy Withers's was. It +wasn't like no other poetry I ever struck. And I could tell the doctor +was thinking the same about it. It sounded somehow like it hadn't been +jointed together right. You would keep listening fur it to rhyme, and +get all worked up watching and waiting fur it to, and make bets with +yourself whether it would rhyme or it wouldn't. And then it ginerally +wouldn't. I never hearn such poetry to get a person's expectances all +worked up, and then go back on 'em. But if you could of told what it was +all about, you wouldn't of minded that so much. Not that you can tell +what most poetry is about, but you don't care so long as it keeps +hopping along lively. What you want in poetry to make her sound good, +according to my way of thinking, is to make her jump lively, and +then stop with a bang on the rhymes. But Daddy Withers was so +independent-like he would jest natcherally try to force two words to +rhyme whether the Lord made 'em fur mates or not--like as if you would +try to make a couple of kids kiss and make up by bumping their heads +together. They jest simply won't do it. But Doctor Kirby, he let on like +he thought it was fine poetry, and he read them pieces over and over +agin, out loud, and the old man and the old woman was both mighty +tickled with the way he done it. He wouldn't of had 'em know fur +anything he didn't believe it was the finest poetry ever wrote, Doctor +Kirby wouldn't. + +They was four little books of it altogether. Slim books that looked as +if they hadn't had enough to eat, like a stray cat whose ribs is rubbing +together. It had cost Daddy Withers five hundred dollars apiece to get +'em published. A feller in Boston charged him that much, he said. It +seems he would go along fur years, raking and scraping of his money +together, so as to get enough ahead to get out another book. Each time +he had his hopes the big newspapers would mebby pay some attention to +it, and he would get recognized. + +"But they never did," said the old man, kind of sad, "it always fell +flat." + +"Why, FATHER!"--the old lady begins, and finishes by running back into +the house agin. She is out in a minute with a clipping from a newspaper +and hands it over to Doctor Kirby, as proud as a kid with copper-toed +boots. The doctor reads it all the way through, and then he hands it +back without saying a word. The old lady goes away to fiddle around +about the housework purty soon and the old man looks at the doctor and +says: + +"Well, you see, don't you?" + +"Yes," says the doctor, very gentle. + +"I wouldn't have HER know for the world," says Daddy Withers. "_I_ +know and YOU know that newspaper piece is just simply poking fun at my +poetry, and making a fool of me, the whole way through. As soon as I +read it over careful I saw it wasn't really praise, though there was a +minute or two I thought my recognition had come. But SHE don't know it +ain't serious from start to finish. SHE was all-mighty pleased when that +piece come out in print. And I don't intend she ever shall know it ain't +real praise." + +His wife was so proud when that piece come out in that New York paper, +he said, she cried over it. She said now she was glad they had been +doing without things fur years and years so they could get them little +books printed, one after the other, fur now fame was coming. But +sometimes, Daddy Withers says, he suspicions she really knows he has +been made a fool of, and is pertending not to see it, fur his sake, the +same as he is pertending fur HER sake. Well, they was a mighty nice +old couple, and the doctor done a heap of pertending fur both their +sakes--they wasn't nothing else to do. + +"How'd you come to get started at it?" he asts. + +Daddy Withers says he don't rightly know. Mebby, he says, it was living +there all his life and watching things growing--watching the cotton +grow, and the corn and getting acquainted with birds and animals and +trees and things. Helping of things to grow, he says, is a good way to +understand how God must feel about humans. For what you plant and help +to grow, he says, you are sure to get to caring a heap about. You can't +help it. And that is the reason, he says, God can be depended on to pull +the human race through in the end, even if appearances do look to be +agin His doing it sometimes, fur He started it to growing in the first +place and that-a-way He got interested personal in it. And that is the +main idea, he says, he has all the time been trying to get into that +there poetry of his'n. But he reckons he ain't got her in. Leastways, +he says, no one has never seen her there but the doctor and the old lady +and himself. Well, for my part, I never would of seen it there myself, +but when he said it out plain like that any one could of told what he +meant. + +You hadn't orter lay things up agin folks if the folks can't help 'em. +And I will say Daddy Withers was a fine old boy in spite of his poetry. +Which it never really done any harm, except being expensive to him, and +lots will drink that much up and never figger it an expense, but one +of the necessities of life. We went all over his place with him, and we +noticed around his house a lot of tin cans tacked up to posts and trees. +They was fur the birds to drink out of, and all the birds around there +had found out about it, and about Daddy Withers, and wasn't scared of +him at all. He could get acquainted with animals, too, so that after a +long spell sometimes they would even let him handle them. But not if any +one was around. They was a crow he had made a pet of, used to hop around +in front of him, and try fur to talk to him. If he went to sleep in the +front yard whilst he was reading, that crow had a favourite trick of +stealing his spectacles off'n his nose and flying up to the ridgepole +of the house, and cawing at him. Once he had been setting out a row of +tomato plants very careful, and he got to the end of the row and turned +around, and that there crow had been hopping along behind very sollum, +pulling up each plant as he set it out. It acted like it had done +something mighty smart, and knowed it, that crow. So after that the old +man named him Satan, fur he said it was Satan's trick to keep things +from growing. They was some blue and white pigeons wasn't scared to come +and set on his shoulders; but you could see the old man really liked +that crow Satan better'n any of them. + +Well, we hung around all afternoon listening to the old man talk, and +liking him better and better. First thing we knowed it was getting along +toward supper time. And nothing would do but we must stay to supper, +too. We was pinted toward a place on the railroad called Smithtown, but +when we found we couldn't get a train from there till ten o'clock that +night anyhow, and it was only three miles away, we said we'd stay. + +After supper we calculated we'd better move. But the old man wouldn't +hear of us walking that three miles. So about eight o'clock he hitched +up a mule to a one-hoss wagon, and we jogged along. + +They was a yaller moon sneaking up over the edge of the world when we +started. It was so low down in the sky yet that it threw long shadders +on the road, and they was thick and black ones, too. Because they was a +lot of trees alongside the road, and the road was narrow, we went ahead +mostly through the darkness, with here and there patches of moonlight +splashed onto the ground. Doctor Kirby and Old Man Withers was setting +on the seat, still gassing away about books and things, and I was +setting on the suit case in the wagon box right behind 'em. Sam, he was +sometimes in the back of the wagon. He had been more'n half asleep all +afternoon, but now it was night he was waked up, the way niggers and +cats will do, and every once in a while he would get out behind and cut +a few capers in a moonlight patch, jest fur the enjoyment of it, and +then run and ketch up with the wagon and crawl in agin, fur it was going +purty slow. + +The ground was sandy in spots, and I guess we made a purty good load fur +Beck, the old mule. She stopped, going up a little slope, after we had +went about a mile from the Witherses'. Sam says he'll get out and walk, +fur the wheels was in purty deep, and it was hard going. + +"Giddap, Beck!" says the old man. + +But Beck, she won't. She don't stand like she is stuck, neither, but +like she senses danger somewheres about. A hoss might go ahead into +danger, but a mule is more careful of itself and never goes butting in +unless it feels sure they is a way out. + +"Giddap," says the old man agin. + +But jest then the shadders on both sides of the road comes to life. They +wakes up, and moves all about us. It was done so sudden and quiet it was +half a minute before I seen it wasn't shadders but about thirty men had +gathered all about us on every side. They had guns. + +"Who are you? What d'ye want?" asts the old man, startled, as three or +four took care of the mule's head very quick and quiet. + +"Don't be skeered, Daddy Withers," says a drawly voice out of the dark; +"we ain't goin' to hurt YOU. We got a little matter o' business to tend +to with them two fellers yo' totin' to town." + + + + + +CHAPTER XIX + + +_Thirty_ men with guns would be considerable of a proposition to buck +against, so we didn't try it. They took us out of the wagon, and they +pinted us down the road, steering us fur a country schoolhouse which +was, I judged from their talk, about a quarter of a mile away. They took +us silent, fur after we found they didn't answer no questions we quit +asking any. We jest walked along, and guessed what we was up against, +and why. Daddy Withers, he trailed along behind. They had tried to send +him along home, but he wouldn't go. So they let him foller and paid no +more heed to him. + +Sam, he kept a-talking and a-begging, and several men a-telling of him +to shut up. And him not a-doing it. Till finally one feller says very +disgusted-like: + +"Boys, I'm going to turn this nigger loose." + +"We'll want his evidence," says another one. + +"Evidence!" says the first one. "What's the evidence of a scared nigger +worth?" + +"I reckon that one this afternoon was considerable scared, when he give +us that evidence against himself--that is, if you call it evidence." + +"A nigger can give evidence against a nigger, and it's all right," says +another voice--which it come from a feller that had a-holt of my wrist +on the left-hand side of me--"but these are white men we are going to +try to-night. The case is too serious to take nigger evidence. Besides, +I reckon we got all the evidence any one could need. This nigger ain't +charged with any crime himself, and my idea is that he ain't to be +allowed to figure one way or the other in this thing." + +So they turned Sam loose. I never seen nor hearn tell of Sam since then. +They fired a couple of guns into the air as he started down the road, +jest fur fun, and mebby he is running yet. + +The feller had been talking like he was a lawyer, so I asts him what +crime we was charged with. But he didn't answer me. And jest then we +gets in sight of that schoolhouse. + +It set on top of a little hill, partially in the moonlight, with a few +sad-looking pine trees scattered around it, and the fence in front +broke down. Even after night you could see it was a shabby-looking little +place. + +Old Daddy Withers tied his mule to the broken down fence. Somebody +busted the front door down. Somebody else lighted matches. The first +thing I knowed, we was all inside, and four or five dirty little coal +oil lamps, with tin reflectors to 'em, which I s'pose was used ordinary +fur school exhibitions, was being lighted. + +We was waltzed up onto the teacher's platform, Doctor Kirby and me, and +set down in chairs there, with two men to each of us, and then a tall, +rawboned feller stalks up to the teacher's desk, and raps on it with the +butt end of a pistol, and says: + +"Gentlemen, this meeting will come to order." + +Which they was orderly enough before that, but they all took off their +hats when he rapped, like in a court room or a church, and most of 'em +set down. + +They set down in the school kids' seats, or on top of the desks, and +their legs stuck out into the aisles, and they looked uncomfortable and +awkward. But they looked earnest and they looked sollum, too, and they +wasn't no joking nor skylarking going on, nor no kind of rowdyness, +neither. These here men wasn't toughs, by any manner of means, but +the most part of 'em respectable farmers. They had a look of meaning +business. + +"Gentlemen," says the feller who had rapped, "who will you have for your +chairman?" + +"I reckon you'll do, Will," says another feller to the raw-boned man, +which seemed to satisfy him. But he made 'em vote on it before he took +office. + +"Now then," says Will, "the accused must have counsel." + +"Will," says another feller, very hasty, "what's the use of all this +fuss an' feathers? You know as well as I do there's nothing legal about +this. It's only necessary. For my part--" + +"Buck Hightower," says Will, pounding on the desk, "you will please come +to order." Which Buck done it. + +"Now," says the chairman, turning toward Doctor Kirby, who had been +setting there looking thoughtful from one man to another, like he was +sizing each one up, "now I must explain to the chief defendant that we +don't intend to lynch him." + +He stopped a second on that word LYNCH as if to let it soak in. The +doctor, he bowed toward him very cool and ceremonious, and says, mocking +of him: + +"You reassure me, Mister--Mister--What is your name?" He said it in a +way that would of made a saint mad. + +"My name ain't any difference," says Will, trying not to show he was +nettled. + +"You are quite right," says the doctor, looking Will up and down from +head to foot, very slow and insulting, "it's of no consequence in the +world." + +Will, he flushed up, but he makes himself steady and cool, and he goes +on with his little speech: "There is to be no lynching here to-night. +There is to be a trial, and, if necessary, an execution." + +"Would it be asking too much," says the doctor very polite, "if I were +to inquire who is to be tried, and before what court, and upon what +charge?" + +There was a clearing of throats and a shuffling of feet fur a minute. +One old deaf feller, with a red nose, who had his hand behind his ear +and was leaning forward so as not to miss a breath of what any one said, +ast his neighbour in a loud whisper, "How?" Then an undersized little +feller, who wasn't a farmer by his clothes, got up and moved toward the +platform. He had a bulging-out forehead, and thin lips, and a quick, +nervous way about him: + +"You are to be tried," he says to the doctor, speaking in a kind of +shrill sing-song that cut your nerves in that room full of bottled-up +excitement like a locust on a hot day. "You are to be tried before this +self-constituted court of Caucasian citizens--Anglo-Saxons, sir, every +man of them, whose forbears were at Runnymede! The charge against you +is stirring up the negroes of this community to the point of revolt. +You are accused, sir, of representing yourself to them as some kind of +a Moses. You are arraigned here for endangering the peace of the county +and the supremacy of the Caucasian race by inspiring in the negroes the +hope of equality." + +Old Daddy Withers had been setting back by the door. I seen him get +up and slip out. It didn't look to me to be any place fur a gentle old +poet. While that little feller was making that charge you could feel the +air getting tingly, like it does before a rain storm. + +Some fellers started to clap their hands like at a political rally and +to say, "Go it, Billy!" "That's right, Harden!" Which I found out later +Billy Harden was in the state legislature, and quite a speaker, and +knowed it. Will, the chairman, he pounded down the applause, and then he +says to the doctor, pointing to Billy Harden: + +"No man shall say of us that we did not give you a fair trial and a +square deal. I'm goin' to appoint this gentleman as your counsel, and +I'm goin' to give you a reasonable time to talk with him in private and +prepare your case. He is the ablest lawyer in southwest Georgia and the +brightest son of Watson County." + +The doctor looks kind of lazy and Bill Harden, and back agin at Will, +the chairman, and smiles out of the corner of his mouth. Then he says, +sort of taking in the rest of the crowd with his remark, like them two +standing there paying each other compliments wasn't nothing but a joke: + +"I hope neither of you will take it too much to heart if I'm not +impressed by your sense of justice--or your friend's ability." + +"Then," said Will, "I take it that you intend to act as your own +counsel?" + +"You may take it," says the doctor, rousing of himself up, "you may take +it--from me--that I refuse to recognize you and your crowd as a court of +any kind; that I know nothing of the silly accusations against me; +that I find no reason at all why I should take the trouble of making a +defence before an armed mob that can only mean one of two things." + +"One of two things?" says Will. + +"Yes," says the doctor, very quiet, but raising his voice a little and +looking him hard in the eyes. "You and your gang can mean only one of +two things. Either a bad joke, or else--" + +And he stopped a second, leaning forward in his chair, with the look of +half raising out of it, so as to bring out the word very decided-- + +"MURDER!" + +The way he done it left that there word hanging in the room, so you +could almost see it and almost feel it there, like it was a thing that +had to be faced and looked at and took into account. They all felt it +that-a-way, too; fur they wasn't a sound fur a minute. Then Will says: + +"We don't plan murder, and you'll find this ain't a joke. And since you +refuse to accept counsel--" + +Jest then Buck Hightower interrupts him by yelling out, "I make a motion +Billy Harden be prosecuting attorney, then. Let's hurry this thing +along!" And several started to applaud, and call fur Billy Harden to +prosecute. But Will, he pounded down the applause agin, and says: + +"I was about to suggest that Mr. Harden might be prevailed upon to +accept that task." + +"Yes," says the doctor, very gentle and easy. "Quite so! I fancied +myself that Mr. Harden came along with the idea of making a speech +either for or against." And he grinned at Billy Harden in a way that +seemed to make him wild, though he tried not to show it. Somehow the +doctor seemed to be all keyed up, instead of scared, like a feller +that's had jest enough to drink to give him a fighting edge. + +"Mr. Chairman," says Billy Harden, flushing up and stuttering jest a +little, "I b-beg leave to d-d-decline." + +"What," says the doctor, sort of playing with Billy with his eyes and +grin, and turning like to let the whole crowd in on the joke, "DECLINE? +The eminent gentleman declines! And he is going to sit down, too, with +all that speech bottled up in him! O Demosthenes!" he says, "you have +lost your pebble in front of all Greece." + +Several grinned at Billy Harden as he set down, and three or four +laughed outright. I guess about half of them there knowed him fur a wind +bag, and some wasn't sorry to see him joshed. But I seen what the doctor +was trying to do. He knowed he was in an awful tight place, and he was +feeling that crowd's pulse, so to speak. He had been talking to crowds +fur twenty years, and he knowed the kind of sudden turns they will take, +and how to take advantage of 'em. He was planning and figgering in his +mind all the time jest what side to ketch 'em on, and how to split up +the one, solid crowd-mind into different minds. But the little bit of +a laugh he turned against Billy Harden was only on the surface, like a +straw floating on a whirlpool. These men was here fur business. + +Buck Hightower jumps up and says: + +"Will, I'm getting tired of this court foolishness. The question is, +Does this man come into this county and do what he has done and get out +again? We know all about him. He sneaked in here and gave out he was +here to turn the niggers white--that he was some kind of a new-fangled +Jesus sent especially to niggers, which is blasphemy in itself--and +he's got 'em stirred up. They're boilin' and festerin' with notions of +equality till we're lucky if we don't have to lynch a dozen of 'em, +like they did in Atlanta last summer, to get 'em back into their places +again. Do we save ourselves more trouble by stringing him up as a +warning to the negroes? Or do we invite trouble by turning him loose? +Which? All it needs is a vote." + +And he set down agin. You could see he had made a hit with the boys. +They was a kind of a growl rolled around the room. The feelings in that +place was getting stronger and stronger. I was scared, but trying not to +show it. My fingers kept feeling around in my pocket fur something that +wasn't there. But my brain couldn't remember what my fingers was feeling +fur. Then it come on me sudden it was a buckeye I picked up in the +woods in Indiany one day, and I had lost it. I ain't superstitious about +buckeyes or horse-shoes, but remembering I had lost it somehow made me +feel worse. But Doctor Kirby had a good holt on himself; his face was +a bit redder'n usual, and his eyes was sparkling, and he was both eager +and watchful. When Buck Hightower sets down the chairman clears his +throat like he is going to speak. But-- + +"Just a moment," says Doctor Kirby, getting on his feet, and taking +a step toward the chairman. And the way he stopped and stood made +everybody look at him. Then he went on: + +"Once more," he says, "I call the attention of every man present to the +fact that what the last speaker proposes is--" + +And then he let 'em have that word agin, full in their faces, to think +about-- + +"MURDER! Merely murder." + +He was bound they shouldn't get away from that word and what it stood +fur. And every man there DID think, too, fur they was another little +pause. And not one of 'em looked at another one fur a minute. Doctor +Kirby leaned forward from the platform, running his eyes over the crowd, +and jest natcherally shoved that word into the room so hard with his +mind that every mind there had to take it in. + +But as he held 'em to it they come a bang from one of the windows. It +broke the charm. Fur everybody jumped. I jumped myself. When the end +of the world comes and the earth busts in the middle, it won't sound no +louder than that bang did. It was a wooden shutter. The wind was rising +outside, and it flew open and whacked agin' the building. + +Then a big, heavy-set man that hadn't spoke before riz up from one of +the hind seats, like he had heard a dare to fight, and walked slowly +down toward the front. He had a red face, which was considerable +pock-marked, and very deep-set eyes, and a deep voice. + +"Since when," he says, taking up his stand a dozen feet or so in front +of the doctor, "since when has any civilization refused to commit murder +when murder was necessary for its protection?" + +One of the top glasses of that window was out, and with the shutter open +they come a breeze through that fluttered some strips of dirty-coloured +papers, fly-specked and dusty and spider-webbed, that hung on strings +acrost the room, jest below the ceiling. I guess they had been left over +from some Christmas doings. + +"My friend," said the pock-marked man to the doctor--and the funny thing +about it was he didn't talk unfriendly when he said it--"the word you +insist on is just a WORD, like any other word." + +They was a spider rousted out of his web by that disturbance among the +strings and papers. He started down from above on jest one string of +web, seemingly spinning part of it out of himself as he come, the way +they do. I couldn't keep my eyes off'n him. + +"Murder," says the doctor, "is a thing." + +"It is a WORD," says the other man, "FOR a thing. For a thing which +sometimes seems necessary. Lynching, war, execution, murder--they are +all words for different ways of wiping out human life. Killing sometimes +seems wrong, and sometimes right. But right or wrong, and with one word +or another tacked to it, it is DONE when a community wants to get rid of +something dangerous to it." + +That there spider was a squat, ugly-looking devil, hunched up on his +string amongst all his crooked legs. The wind would come in little +puffs, and swing him a little way toward the doctor's head, and then +toward the pock-marked man's head, back and forth and back and forth, +between them two as they spoke. It looked to me like he was listening to +what they said and waiting fur something. + +"Murder," says the doctor, "is murder--illegal killing--and you can't +make anything else out of it, or talk anything else into it." + +It come to me all to oncet that that ugly spider was swinging back and +forth like the pendulum on a clock, and marking time. I wondered how +much time they was left in the world. + +"It would be none the less a murder," said the pock-marked man, "if you +were to be hanged after a trial in some county court. Society had been +obliged to deny the privilege of committing murder to the individual and +reserve it for the community. If our communal sense says you should die, +the thing is neither better nor worse than if a sheriff hanged you." + +"I am not to be hanged by a sheriff," says the doctor, very cool and +steady, "because I have committed no crime. I am not to be killed by you +because you dare not, in spite of all you say, outrage the law to that +extent." + +And they looked each other in the eyes so long and hard that every one +else in the schoolhouse held their breath. + +"DARE not?" says the pock-marked man. And he reached forward slow and +took that spider in his hand, and crushed it there, and wiped his hand +along his pants leg. "Dare not? YES, BUT WE DARE. The only question for +us men here is whether we dare to let you go free." + +"Your defence of lynching," says Doctor Kirby, "shows that you, at +least, are a man who can think. Tell me what I am accused of?" + +And then the trial begun in earnest. + + + + + +CHAPTER XX + + +The doctor acted as his own lawyer, and the pock-marked man, whose name +was Grimes, as the lawyer agin us. You could see that crowd had made up +its mind before-hand, and was only giving us what they called a trial +to satisfy their own conscience. But the fight was betwixt Grimes and +Doctor Kirby the hull way through. + +One witness was a feller that had been in the hotel at Cottonville the +night we struck that place. We had drunk some of his licker. + +"This man admitted himself that he was here to turn the niggers white," +said the witness. + +Doctor Kirby had told 'em what kind of medicine he was selling. We both +remembered it. We both had to admit it. + +The next witness was the feller that run the tavern at Bairdstown. He +had with him, fur proof, a bottle of the stuff we had brought with us. +He told how we had went away and left it there that very morning. + +Another witness told of seeing the doctor talking in the road to that +there nigger bishop. Which any one could of seen it easy enough, fur +they wasn't nothing secret about it. We had met him by accident. But you +could see it made agin us. + +Another witness says he lives not fur from that Big Bethel church. +He says he has noticed the niggers was worked up about something fur +several days. They are keeping the cause of it secret. He went over to +Big Bethel church the night before, he said, and he listened outside one +of the windows to find out what kind of doctrine that crazy bishop was +preaching to them. They was all so worked up, and the power was with +'em so strong, and they was so excited they wouldn't of hearn an army +marching by. He had hearn the bishop deliver a message to his flock from +the Messiah. He had seen him go wild, afterward, and preach an equality +sermon. That was the lying message the old bishop had took to 'em, and +that Sam had told us about. But how was this feller to know it was a +lie? He believed in it, and he told it in a straight-ahead way that +would make any one see he was telling the truth as he thought it to be. + +Then they was six other witnesses. All had been in the gang that lynched +the nigger that day. That nigger had confessed his crime before he was +lynched. He had told how the niggers had been expecting of a Messiah fur +several days, and how the doctor was him. He had died a-preaching and +a-prophesying and thinking to the last minute maybe he was going to get +took up in a chariot of fire. + +Things kept looking worse and worse fur us. They had the story as the +niggers thought it to be. They thought the doctor had deliberately +represented himself as such, instead of which the doctor had refused to +be represented as that there Messiah. More than that, he had never +sold a bottle of that medicine. He had flung the idea of selling it way +behind him jest as soon as he seen what the situation really was in the +black counties. He had even despised himself fur going into it. But the +looks of things was all the other way. + +Then the doctor give his own testimony. + +"Gentlemen," he says, "it is true that I came down here to try out that +stuff in the bottle there, and see if a market could be worked up +for it. It is also true that, after I came here and discovered what +conditions were, I decided not to sell the stuff. I didn't sell any. +About this Messiah business I know very little more than you do. The +situation was created, and I blundered into it. I sent the negroes word +that I was not the person they expected. The bishop lied to them. That +is my whole story." + +But they didn't believe him. Fur it was jest what he would of said if he +had been guilty, as they thought him. And then Grimes gets up and says: + +"Gentlemen, I demand for this prisoner the penalty of death. + +"He has lent himself to a situation calculated to disturb in this county +the peaceful domination of the black race by the white. + +"He is a Northern man. But that is not against him. If this were a case +where leniency were possible, it should count for him, as indicating an +ignorance of the gravity of conditions which confront us here, every day +and all the time. If he were my own brother, I would still demand his +death. + +"Lest he should think my attitude dictated by any lingering sectional +prejudice, I may tell him what you all know--you people among whom I +have lived for thirty years--that I am a Northern man myself. + +"The negro who was lynched to-day might never have committed the crime +he did had not the wild, disturbing dream of equality been stirring in +his brain. Every speech, every look, every action which encourages that +idea is a crime. In this county, where the blacks outnumber us, we must +either rule as masters or be submerged. + +"This man is still believed by the negroes to possess some miraculous +power. He is therefore doubly dangerous. As a sharp warning to them +he must die. His death will do more toward ending the trouble he has +prepared than the death of a dozen negroes. + +"And as God is my witness, I speak and act not through passion, but from +the dictates of conscience." + +He meant it, Grimes did. And when he set down they was a hush. And then +Will, the chairman, begun to call the roll. + +I never been much of a person to have bad dreams or nightmares or things +like that. But ever since that night in that schoolhouse, if I do have a +nightmare, it takes the shape of that roll being called. Every word was +like a spade grating and gritting in damp gravel when a grave is dug. It +sounded so to me. + +"Samuel Palmour, how do you vote?" that chairman would say. + +Samuel Palmour, or whoever it was, would hist himself to his feet, and +he would say something like this: + +"Death." + +He wouldn't say it joyous. He wouldn't say it mad. He would be pale when +he said it, mebby--and mebby trembling. But he would say it like it was +a duty he had to do, that couldn't be got out of. That there trial had +lasted so long they wasn't hot blood left in nobody jest then--only cold +blood, and determination and duty and principle. + +"Buck Hightower," says the chairman, "how do you vote?" + +"Death," says Buck; "death for the man. But say, can't we jest LICK the +kid and turn him loose?" + +And so it went, up one side the room and down the other. Grimes had +showed 'em all their duty. Not but what they had intended to do it +before Grimes spoke. But he had put it in such a way they seen it was +something with even MORE principle to it than they had thought it was +before. + +"Billy Harden," says the chairman, "how do you vote?" Billy was the last +of the bunch. And most had voted fur death. Billy, he opened his mouth +and he squared himself away to orate some. But jest as he done so, the +door opened and Old Daddy Withers stepped in. He had been gone so long +I had plumb forgot him. Right behind him was a tall, spare feller, with +black eyes and straight iron-gray hair. + +"I vote," says Billy Harden, beginning of his speech, "I vote for death. +The reason upon which I base--" + +But Doctor Kirby riz up and interrupted him. + +"You are going to kill me," he said. He was pale but he was quiet, and +he spoke as calm and steady as he ever done in his life. "You are going +to kill me like the crowd of sneaking cowards that you are. And you ARE +such cowards that you've talked two hours about it, instead of doing it. +And I'll tell you why you've talked so much: because no ONE of you alone +would dare to do it, and every man of you in the end wants to go away +thinking that the other fellow had the biggest share in it. And no ONE +of you will fire the gun or pull the rope--you'll do it ALL TOGETHER, in +a crowd, because each one will want to tell himself he only touched the +rope, or that HIS GUN missed. + +"I know you, by God!" he shouted, flushing up into a passion--and it +brought blood into their faces, too--"I know you right down to your +roots, better than you know yourselves." + +He was losing hold of himself, and roaring like a bull and flinging out +taunts that made 'em squirm. If he wanted the thing over quick, he +was taking jest the way to warm 'em up to it. But I don't think he was +figgering on anything then, or had any plan up his sleeve. He had made +up his mind he was going to die, and he was so mad because he couldn't +get in one good lick first that he was nigh crazy. I looked to see him +lose all sense in a minute, and rush amongst them guns and end it in a +whirl. + +But jest as I figgered he was on his tiptoes fur that, and was getting +up my own sand, he throwed a look my way. And something sobered him. He +stood there digging his finger nails into the palms of his hands fur a +minute, to get himself back. And when he spoke he was sort of husky. + +"That boy there," he says. And then he stops and kind of chokes up. And +in a minute he was begging fur me. He tells 'em I wasn't mixed up in +nothing. He wouldn't of done it fur himself, but he begged fur me. +Nobody had paid much attention to me from the first, except Buck +Hightower had put in a good word fur me. But somehow the doctor had got +the crowd listening to him agin, and they all looked at me. It got next +to me. I seen by the way they was looking, and I felt it in the air, +that they was going to let me off. + +But Doctor Kirby, he had always been my friend. It made me sore fur to +see him thinking I wasn't with him. So I says: + +"You better can that line of talk. They don't get you without they get +me, too. You orter know I ain't a quitter. You give me a pain." + +And the doctor and me stood and looked at each other fur a minute. He +grinned at me, and all of a sudden we was neither one of us much giving +a whoop, fur it had come to us both at oncet what awful good friends we +was with each other. + +But jest then they come a slow, easy-going sort of a voice from the +back part of the room. That feller that had come in along with Old Daddy +Withers come sauntering down the middle aisle, fumbling in his coat +pocket, and speaking as he come. + +"I've been hearing a great deal of talk about killing people in the last +few minutes," he says. + +Everybody rubbered at him. + + + + + +CHAPTER XXI + + +There was something sort of careless in his voice, like he had jest +dropped in to see a show, and it had come to him sudden that he would +enjoy himself fur a minute or two taking part in it. But he wasn't going +to get TOO worked up about it, either, fur the show might end by making +him tired, after all. + +As he come down the aisle fumbling in his coat, he stopped and begun to +slap all his pockets. Then his face cleared, and he dived into a +vest pocket. Everybody looked like they thought he was going to pull +something important out of it. But he didn't. All he pulled out was jest +one of these here little ordinary red books of cigarette papers. Then +he dived fur some loose tobacco, and begun to roll one. I noticed his +fingers was long and white and slim and quick. But not excited fingers; +only the kind that seems to say as much as talking says. + +He licked his cigarette, and then he sauntered ahead, looking up. As +he looked up the light fell full on his face fur the first time. He had +high cheek bones and iron-gray hair which he wore rather long, and very +black eyes. As he lifted his head and looked close at Doctor Kirby, a +change went over both their faces. Doctor Kirby's mouth opened like he +was going to speak. So did the other feller's. One side of his mouth +twitched into something that was too surprised to be a grin, and one of +his black eyebrows lifted itself up at the same time. But neither him +nor Doctor Kirby spoke. + +He stuck his cigarette into his mouth and turned sideways from Doctor +Kirby, like he hadn't noticed him pertic'ler. And he turns to the +chairman. + +"Will," he says. And everybody listens. You could see they all knowed +him, and that they all respected him too, by the way they was waiting +to hear what he would say to Will. But they was all impatient and eager, +too, and they wouldn't wait very long, although now they was hushing +each other and leaning forward. + +"Will," he says, very polite and quiet, "can I trouble you for a match?" + +And everybody let go their breath. Some with a snort, like they knowed +they was being trifled with, and it made 'em sore. His eyebrows goes up +agin, like it was awful impolite in folks to snort that-away, and he is +surprised to hear it. And Will, he digs fur a match and finds her and +passes her over. He lights his cigarette, and he draws a good inhale, +and he blows the smoke out like it done him a heap of good. He sees +something so interesting in that little cloud of smoke that everybody +else looks at it, too. + +"Do I understand," he says, "that some one is going to lynch some one, +or something of that sort?" + +"That's about the size of it, colonel," says Will. + +"Um!" he says, "What for?" + +Then everybody starts to talk all at once, half of them jumping to their +feet, and making a perfect hullabaloo of explanations you couldn't get +no sense out of. In the midst of which the colonel takes a chair and +sets down and crosses one leg over the other, swinging the loose foot +and smiling very patient. Which Will remembers he is chairman of that +meeting and pounds fur order. + +"Thank you, Will," says the colonel, like getting order was a personal +favour to him. Then Billy Harden gets the floor, and squares away fur a +longwinded speech telling why. But Buck Hightower jumps up impatient and +says: + +"We've been through all that, Billy. That man there has been tried and +found guilty, colonel, and there's only one thing to do--string him up." + +"Buck, _I_ wouldn't," says the colonel, very mild. + +But that there man Grimes gets up very sober and steady and says: + +"Colonel, you don't understand." And he tells him the hull thing as +he believed it to be--why they has voted the doctor must die, the room +warming up agin as he talks, and the colonel listening very interested. +But you could see by the looks of him that colonel wouldn't never be +interested so much in anything but himself, and his own way of doing +things. In a way he was like a feller that enjoys having one part +of himself stand aside and watch the play-actor game another part of +himself is acting out. + +"Grimes," he says, when the pock-marked man finishes, "I wouldn't. I +really wouldn't." + +"Colonel," says Grimes, showing his knowledge that they are all standing +solid behind him, "WE WILL!" + +"Ah," says the colonel, his eyebrows going up, and his face lighting +up like he is really beginning to enjoy himself and is glad he come, +"indeed!" + +"Yes," says Grimes, "WE WILL!" + +"But not," says the colonel, "before we have talked the thing over a +bit, I hope?" + +"There's been too much talk here now," yells Buck Hightower, "talk, +talk, till, by God, I'm sick of it! Where's that ROPE?" + +"But, listen to him--listen to the colonel!" some one else sings +out. And then they was another hullabaloo, some yelling "no!" And the +colonel, very patient, rolls himself another smoke and lights it from +the butt of the first one. But finally they quiets down enough so Will +can put it to a vote. Which vote goes fur the colonel to speak. + +"Boys," he begins very quiet, "I wouldn't lynch this man. In the first +place it will look bad in the newspapers, and--" + +"The newspapers be d---d!" says some one. + +"And in the second place," goes on the colonel, "it would be against the +law, and--" + +"The law be d----d!" says Buck Hightower. + +"There's a higher law!" says Grimes. + +"Against the law," says the colonel, rising up and throwing away his +cigarette, and getting interested. + +"I know how you feel about all this negro business. And I feel the same +way. We all know that we must be the negros' masters. Grimes there found +that out when he came South, and the idea pleased him so he hasn't been +able to talk about anything else since. Grimes has turned into what the +Northern newspapers think a typical Southerner is. + +"Boys, this thing of lynching gets to be a habit. There's been a negro +lynched to-day. He's the third in this county in five years. They all +needed killing. If the thing stopped there I wouldn't care so much. But +the habit of illegal killing grows when it gets started. + +"It's grown on you. You're fixing to lynch your first white man now. If +you do, you'll lynch another easier. You'll lynch one for murder and the +next for stealing hogs and the next because he's unpopular and the next +because he happens to dun you for a debt. And in five years life will +be as cheap in Watson County as it is in a New York slum where they feed +immigrants to the factories. You'll all be toting guns and grudges and +trying to lynch each other. + +"The place to stop the thing is where it starts. You can't have it both +ways--you've got to stand pat on the law, or else see the law spit on +right and left, in the end, and NOBODY safe. It's either law or--" + +"But," says Grimes, "there's a higher law than that on the statute +books. There's--" + +"There's a lot of flub-dub," says the colonel, "about higher laws and +unwritten laws. But we've got high enough law written if we live up to +it. There's--" + +"Colonel Tom Buckner," says Buck Hightower, "what kind of law was it +when you shot Ed Howard fifteen years ago? What--" + +"You're out of order," says the chairman, "Colonel Buckner has the +floor. And I'll remind you, Buck Hightower, that, on the occasion you +drag in, Colonel Buckner didn't do any talking about higher laws or +unwritten laws. He sent word to the sheriff to come and get him if he +dared." + +"Boys," says the colonel, "I'm preaching you higher doctrine than I've +lived by, and I've made no claim to be better or more moral than any of +you. I'm not. I'm in the same boat with all of you, and I tell you +it's up to ALL of us to stop lynchings in this county--to set our faces +against it. I tell you--" + +"Is that all you've got to say to us, colonel?" + +The question come out of a group that had drawed nearer together +whilst the colonel was talking. They was tired of listening to talk and +arguments, and showed it. + +The colonel stopped speaking short when they flung that question at him. +His face changed. He turned serious all over. And he let loose jest one +word: + +"NO!" + +Not very loud, but with a ring in it that sounded like danger. And he +got 'em waiting agin, and hanging on his words. + +"No!" he repeats, louder, "not all. I have this to say to you--" + +And he paused agin, pointing one long white finger at the crowd-- + +"IF YOU LYNCH THIS MAN YOU MUST KILL ME FIRST!" + +I couldn't get away from thinking, as he stood there making them take +that in, that they was something like a play-actor about him. But he was +in earnest, and he would play it to the end, fur he liked the feelings +it made circulate through his frame. And they saw he was in earnest. + +"You'll lynch him, will you?" he says, a kind of passion getting into +his voice fur the first time, and his eyes glittering. "You think you +will? Well, you WON'T! + +"You won't because _I_ say NOT. Do you hear? I came here to-night to +save him. + +"You might string HIM up and not be called to account for it. But how +about ME?" + +He took a step forward, and, looking from face to face with a dare in +his eyes, he went on: + +"Is there a man among you fool enough to think you could kill Tom +Buckner and not pay for it?" + +He let 'em all think of that for jest another minute before he spoke +agin. His face was as white as a piece of paper, and his nostrils was +working, but everything else about him was quiet. He looked the master +of them all as he stood there, Colonel Tom Buckner did--straight and +splendid and keen. And they felt the danger in him, and they felt jest +how fur he would go, now he was started. + +"You didn't want to listen to me a bit ago," he said. "Now you must. +Listen and choose. You can't kill that man unless you kill me too. + +"TRY IT, IF YOU THINK YOU CAN!" + +He reached over and took from the teacher's desk the sheet of paper Will +had used to check off the name of each man and how he voted. He held it +up in front of him and every man looked at it. + +"You know me," he says. "You know I do not break my word. And I promise +you that unless you do kill me here tonight--yes, as God is my witness, +I THREATEN you--I will spend every dollar I own and every atom of +influence I possess to bring each one of you to justice for that man's +murder." + +They knowed, that crowd did, that killing a man like Colonel Buckner--a +leader and a big man in that part of the state--was a different +proposition from killing a stranger like Doctor Kirby. The sense of what +it would mean to kill Colonel Buckner was sinking into 'em, and showing +on their faces. And no one could look at him standing there, with his +determination blazing out of him, and not understand that unless they +did kill him as well as Doctor Kirby he'd do jest what he said. + +"I told you," he said, not raising his voice, but dropping it, and +making it somehow come creeping nearer to every one by doing that, "I +told you the first white man you lynched would lead to other lynchings. +Let me show you what you're up against to-night. + +"Kill the man and the boy here, and you must kill me. Kill me, and you +must kill Old Man Withers, too." + +Every one turned toward the door as he mentioned Old Man Withers. He had +never been very far into the room. + +"Oh, he's gone," said Colonel Tom, as they turned toward the door, and +then looked at each other. "Gone home. Gone home with the name of every +man present. Don't you see you'd have to kill Old Man Withers too, if +you killed me? And then, HIS WIFE! And then--how many more? + +"Do you see it widen--that pool of blood? Do you see it spread and +spread?" + +He looked down at the floor, like he really seen it there. He had 'em +going now. They showed it. + +"If you shed one drop," he went on, "you must shed more. Can't you see +it--widening and deepening, widening and deepening, till you're wading +knee deep in it--till it climbs to your waists--till it climbs to your +throats and chokes you?" + +It was a horrible idea, the way he played that there pool of blood and +he shuddered like he felt it climbing up himself. And they felt it. A +few men can't kill a hull, dern county and get away with it. The way he +put it that's what they was up against. + +"Now," says Colonel Tom, "what man among you wants to start it?" + +Nobody moved. He waited a minute. Still nobody moved. They all looked +at him. It was awful plain jest where they would have to begin. It was +awful plain jest what it would all end up in. And I guess when they +looked at him standing there, so fine and straight and splendid, it jest +seemed plumb unpossible to make a move. There was a spirit in him that +couldn't be killed. Doctor Kirby said afterward that was what come of +being real "quality," which was what Colonel Tom was--it was that in him +that licked 'em. It was the best part of their own selves, and the best +part of their own country, speaking out of him to them, that done it. +Mebby so. Anyhow, after a minute more of that strain, a feller by the +door picks up his gun out of the corner with a scrape, and hists it to +his shoulder and walks out. And then Colonel Tom says to Will, with his +eyebrow going up, and that one-sided grin coming onto his face agin: + +"Will, perhaps a motion to adjourn would be in order?" + + + + + +CHAPTER XXII + + +So many different kinds of feeling had been chasing around inside of me +that I had numb spots in my emotional ornaments and intellectual organs. +The room cleared out of everybody but Doctor Kirby and Colonel Tom and +me. But the sound of the crowd going into the road, and their footsteps +dying away, and then after that their voices quitting, all made but very +little sense to me. I could scarcely realize that the danger was over. + +I hadn't been paying much attention to Doctor Kirby while the colonel +was making that grandstand play of his'n, and getting away with it. +Doctor Kirby was setting in his chair with his head sort of sunk on his +chest. I guess he was having a hard time himself to realize that all +the danger was past. But mebby it wasn't that--he looked like he might +really of forgot where he was fur a minute, and might be thinking of +something that had happened a long time ago. + +The colonel was leaning up agin the teacher's desk, smoking and looking +at Doctor Kirby. Doctor Kirby turns around toward the colonel. + +"You have saved my life," he says, getting up out of his chair, like +he had a notion to step over and thank him fur it, but was somehow not +quite sure how that would be took. + +The colonel looks at him silent fur a second, and then he says, without +smiling: + +"Do you flatter yourself it was because I think it worth anything?" + +The doctor don't answer, and then the colonel says: + +"Has it occurred to you that I may have saved it because I want it?" + +"WANT it?" + +"Do you know of any one who has a better right to TAKE it than I have? +Perhaps I saved it because it BELONGS to me--do you suppose I want any +one else to kill what I have the best right to kill?" + +"Tom," says Doctor Kirby, really puzzled, to judge from his actions, "I +don't understand what makes you say you have the right to take my life." + +"Dave, where is my sister buried?" asts Colonel Tom. + +"Buried?" says Doctor Kirby. "My God, Tom, is she DEAD?" + +"I ask you," says Colonel Tom. + +"And I ask you," says Doctor Kirby. + +And they looked at each other, both wonderized, and trying to +understand. And it busted on me all at oncet who them two men really +was. + +I orter knowed it sooner. When the colonel was first called Colonel Tom +Buckner it struck me I knowed the name, and knowed something about it. +But things which was my own consarns was attracting my attention so hard +I couldn't remember what it was I orter know about that name. Then I +seen him and Doctor Kirby knowed each other when they got that first +square look. That orter of put me on the track, that and a lot of other +things that had happened before. But I didn't piece things together like +I orter done. + +It wasn't until Colonel Tom Buckner called him "Dave" and ast him about +his sister that I seen who Doctor Kirby must really be. + +HE WAS THAT THERE DAVID ARMSTRONG! + +And the brother of the girl he had run off with had jest saved his life. +By the way he was talking, he had saved it simply because he thought he +had the first call on what to do with it. + +"Where is she?" asts Colonel Tom. + +"I ask you," says Doctor Kirby--or David Armstrong--agin. + +Well, I thinks to myself, here is where Daniel puts one acrost the +plate. And I breaks in: + +"You both got another guess coming," I says. "She ain't buried +anywheres. She ain't even dead. She's living in a little town in Indiany +called Athens--or she was about eighteen months ago." + +They both looks at me like they thinks I am crazy. + +"What do you know about it?" says Doctor Kirby. + +"Are you David Armstrong?" says I. + +"Yes," says he. + +"Well," I says, "you spent four or five days within a stone's throw of +her a year ago last summer, and she knowed it was you and hid herself +away from you." + +Then I tells them about how I first happened to hear of David Armstrong, +and all I had hearn from Martha. And how I had stayed at the Davises +in Tennessee and got some more of the same story from George, the old +nigger there. + +"But, Danny," says the doctor, "why didn't you tell me all this?" + +I was jest going to say that not knowing he was that there David +Armstrong I didn't think it any of his business, when Colonel Tom, he +says to Doctor Kirby--I mean to David Armstrong: + +"Why should you be concerned as to her whereabouts? You ruined her life +and then deserted her." + +Doctor Kirby--I mean David Armstrong--stands there with the blood going +up his face into his forehead slow and red. + +"Tom," he says, "you and I seem to be working at cross purposes. Maybe +it would help some if you would tell me just how badly you think I +treated Lucy." + +"You ruined her life, and then deserted her," says Colonel Tom agin, +looking at him hard. + +"I DIDN'T desert her," said Doctor Kirby. "She got disgusted and left +ME. Left me without a chance to explain myself. As far as ruining her +life is concerned, I suppose that when I married her--" + +"Married her!" cries out the colonel. And David Armstrong stares at him +with his mouth open. + +"My God! Tom," he says, "did you think--?" + +And they both come to another standstill. And then they talked some more +and only got more mixed up than ever. Fur the doctor thinks she has left +him, and Colonel Tom thinks he has left her. + +"Tom," says the doctor, "suppose you let me tell my story, and you'll +see why Lucy left me." + +Him and Colonel Tom had been chums together when they went through +Princeton, it seems--I picked that up from the talk and some of his +story I learned afterward. He had come from Ohio in the beginning, and +his dad had had considerable money. Which he had enjoyed spending of it, +and when he was a young feller never liked to work at nothing else. It +suited him. Colonel Tom, he was considerable like him in that way. So +they was good pals when they was to that school together. They both quit +about the same time. A couple of years after that, when they was +both about twenty-five or six years old, they run acrost each other +accidental in New York one autumn. + +The doctor, he was there figgering on going to work at something or +other, but they was so many things to do he was finding it hard to make +a choice. His father was dead by that time, and looking fur a job in +New York, the way he had been doing it, was awful expensive, and he was +running short of money. His father had let him spend so much whilst +he was alive he was very disappointed to find out he couldn't keep on +forever looking fur work that-a-way. + +So Colonel Tom says why not come down home into Tennessee with him fur +a while, and they will both try and figger out what he orter go to work +at. It was the fall of the year, and they was purty good hunting around +there where Colonel Tom lived, and Dave hadn't never been South any, and +so he goes. He figgers he better take a good, long vacation, anyhow. Fur +if he goes to work that winter or the next spring, and ties up with some +job that keeps him in an office, there may be months and months pass by +before he has another chance at a vacation. That is the worst part of a +job--I found that out myself--you never can tell when you are going to +get shut of it, once you are fool enough to start in. + +In Tennessee he had met Miss Lucy. Which her wedding to Prent McMakin +was billed fur to come off about the first of November, jest a month +away. + +"I don't know whether I ever told you or not," says the doctor, "but I +was engaged to be married myself, Tom, when I went down to your place. +That was what started all the trouble. + +"You know engagements are like vaccination--sometimes they take, and +sometimes they don't. Of course, I had thought at one time I was in love +with this girl I was engaged to. When I found out I wasn't, I should +have told her so right away. But I didn't. I thought that she would +get tired of me after a while and turn me loose. I gave her plenty of +chances to turn me loose. I wanted her to break the engagement instead +of me. But she wouldn't take the hints. She hung on like an Ohio Grand +Army veteran to a country post-office. About half the time I didn't read +her letters, and about nineteen twentieths of the time I didn't answer +them. They say hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. But it isn't +so--it makes them all the fonder of you. I got into the habit of +thinking that while Emma might be engaged to me, I wasn't engaged to +Emma. Not but what Emma was a nice girl, you know, but-- + +"Well, I met Lucy. We fell in love with each other. It just happened. +I kept intending to write to the other girl and tell her plainly that +everything was off. But I kept postponing it. It seemed like a deuce of +a hard job to tackle. + +"But, finally, I did write her. That was the very day Lucy promised to +throw Prent McMakin over and marry me. You know how determined all your +people were that Lucy should marry McMakin, Tom. They had brought her up +with the idea that she was going to, and, of course, she was bored with +him for that reason. + +"We decided the best plan would be to slip away quietly and get married. +We knew it would raise a row. But there was bound to be a row anyhow +when they found she intended to marry me instead of McMakin. So we +figured we might just as well be away from there. + +"We left your place early on the morning of October 31, 1888--do you +remember the date, Tom? We took the train for Clarksville, Tennessee, +and got there about two o'clock that afternoon. I suppose you have been +in that interesting centre of the tobacco industry. If you have you may +remember that the courthouse of Montgomery County is right across the +street from the best hotel. I got a license and a preacher without any +trouble, and we were married in the hotel parlour that afternoon. One of +the hotel clerks and the county clerk himself were the witnesses. + +"We went to Cincinnati and from there to Chicago. There we got rooms out +on the South Side--Hyde Park, they called it. And I got me a job. I had +some money left, but not enough to buy kohinoors and race-horses with. +Beside, I really wanted to get to work--wanted it for the first time +in my life. You remember young Clayton in our class? He and some other +enterprising citizens had a building and loan association. Such things +are no doubt immoral, but I went to work for him. + +"We had been in Chicago a week when Lucy wrote home what she had done, +and begged forgiveness for being so abrupt about it. At least, I suppose +that is what she wrote. It was--" + +"I remember exactly what she wrote," says Colonel Tom. + +"I never knew exactly," says the doctor. "The same mail that brought +word from you that your grandfather had had some sort of a stroke, as a +consequence of our elopement, brought also two letters from Emma. They +had been forwarded from New York to Tennessee, and you had forwarded +them to Chicago. + +"Those letters began the trouble. You see, I hadn't told Emma when I +wrote breaking off the engagement that I was going to get married the +next day. And Emma hadn't received my letter, or else had made up her +mind to ignore it. Anyhow, those letters were regular love-letters. + +"I hadn't really read one of Emma's letters for months. But somehow +I couldn't help reading these. I had forgotten what a gift for the +expression of sentiment Emma had. She fairly revelled in it, Tom. Those +letters were simply writhing with clinging female adjectives. They +SQUIRMED with affection. + +"You may remember that Lucy was a rather jealous sort of a person. +Right in the midst of her alarm and grief and self-reproach over her +grandfather, and in the midst of my efforts to comfort her, she spied +the feminine handwriting on those two letters. I had glanced through +them hurriedly, and laid them on the table. + +"Tom, I was in bad. The dates on them, you know, were so RECENT. I +didn't want Lucy to read them. But I didn't dare to ACT as if I didn't +want her to. So I handed them over. + +"I suppose--to a bride who had only been married a little more than a +week--and who had hurt her grandfather nearly to death in the marrying, +those letters must have sounded rather odd. I tried to explain. But +all my explanations only seemed to make the case worse for me. Lucy was +furiously jealous. We really had a devil of a row before we were through +with it. I tried to tell her that I loved no one but her. She pointed +out that I must have said much the same sort of thing to Emma. She said +she was almost as sorry for Emma as she was for herself. When Lucy +got through with me, Tom, I looked like thirty cents and felt like +twenty-five of that was plugged. + +"I didn't have sense enough to know that it was most of it grief over +her grandfather, and nerves and hysteria, and the fact that she was +only eighteen years old and lonely, and that being a bride had a certain +amount to do with it. She had told me that I was a beast, and made me +feel like one; and I took the whole thing hard and believed her. I made +a fine, five-act tragedy out of a jealous fit I might have softened into +comedy if I had had the wit. + +"I wasn't so very old myself, and I hadn't ever been married before. I +should have kept my mouth shut until it was all over, and then when she +began to cry I should have coaxed her up and made her feel like I was +the only solid thing to hang on to in the whole world. + +"But the bottom had dropped out of the universe for me. She had said she +hated me. I was fool enough to believe her. I went downtown and began +to drink. I come home late that night. The poor girl had been waiting up +for me--waiting for hours, and becoming more and more frightened when I +didn't show up. She was over her jealous fit, I suppose. If I had come +home in good shape, or in anything like it, we would have made up then +and there. But my condition stopped all that. I wasn't so drunk but that +I saw her face change when she let me in. She was disgusted. + +"In the morning I was sick and feverish. I was more than disgusted with +myself. I was in despair. If she had hated me before--and she had said +she did--what must she do now? It seemed to me that I had sunk so far +beneath her that it would take years to get back. It didn't seem worth +while making any plea for myself. You see, I was young and had serious +streaks all through me. So when she told me that she had written home +again, and was going back--was going to leave me, I didn't see that +it was only a bluff. I didn't see that she was really only waiting to +forgive me, if I gave her a chance. I started downtown to the building +and loan office, wondering when she would leave, and if there was +anything I could do to make her change her mind. I must repeat again +that I was a fool--that I needed only to speak one word, had I but known +it. + +"If I had gone straight to work, everything might have come around all +right even then. But I didn't. I had that what's-the-use feeling. And I +stopped in at the Palmer House bar to get something to sort of pull me +together. + +"While I was there, who should come up to the bar and order a drink but +Prent McMakin." + +"Yes!" says Colonel Tom, as near excited as he ever got. + +"Yes," says Armstrong, "nobody else. We saw each other in the mirror +behind the bar. I don't know whether you ever noticed it or not, Tom, +but McMakin's eyes had a way of looking almost like cross-eyes when he +was startled or excited. They were a good deal too near together at any +time. He gave me such a look when our eyes met in the mirror that, for +an instant, I thought that he intended to do me some mischief--shoot me, +you know, for taking his bride-to-be away from him, or some fool thing +like that. But as we turned toward each other I saw he had no intention +of that sort." + +"Hadn't he?" says Colonel Tom, mighty interested. + +"No," says the doctor, looking at Colonel Tom very puzzled, "did you +think he had?" + +"Yes, I did," says the colonel, right thoughtful. + +"On the contrary," says Armstrong, "we had a drink together. And he +congratulated me. Made me quite a little speech, in fact; one of the +flowery kind, you know, Tom, and said that he bore me no rancour, and +all that." + +"The deuce he did!" says Colonel Tom, very low, like he was talking to +himself. "And then what?" + +"Then," says the doctor, "then--let me see--it's all a long time ago, +you know, and McMakin's part in the whole thing isn't really important." + +"I'm not so sure it isn't important," says the colonel, "but go on." + +"Then," says Armstrong, "we had another drink together. In fact, a +lot of them. We got awfully friendly. And like a fool I told him of my +quarrel with Lucy." + +"LIKE a fool," says Colonel Tom, nodding his head. "Go on." + +"There isn't much more to tell," says the doctor, "except that I made +a worse idiot of myself yet, and left McMakin about two o'clock in the +afternoon, as near as I can recollect. Somewhere about ten o'clock that +night I went home. Lucy was gone. I haven't seen her since." + +"Dave," says Colonel Tom, "did McMakin happen to mention to you, that +day, just why he was in Chicago?" + +"I suppose so," says the doctor. "I don't know. Maybe not. That was +twenty years ago. Why?" + +"Because," says Colonel Tom, very grim and quiet, "because your first +thought as to his intention when he met you in the bar was MY idea +also. I thought he went to Chicago to settle with you. You see, I got to +Chicago that same afternoon." + +"The same day?" + +"Yes. We were to have come together. But I missed the train, and he got +there a day ahead of me. He was waiting at the hotel for me to join him, +and then we were going to look you up together. He found you first and I +never did find you." + +"But I don't exactly understand," says the doctor. "You say he had the +idea of shooting me." + +"I don't understand everything myself," says Colonel Tom. "But I do +understand that Prent McMakin must have played some sort of a two-faced +game. He never said a word to me about having seen you. + +"Listen," he goes on. "When you and Lucy ran away it nearly killed our +grandfather. In fact, it finally did kill him. When we got Lucy's letter +that told you were in Chicago I went up to bring her back home. We +didn't know what we were going to do, McMakin and I, but we were both +agreed that you needed killing. And he swore that he would marry Lucy +anyhow, even--" + +"MARRY HER!" sings out the doctor, "but we WERE married." + +"Dave," Colonel Tom says very slow and steady, "you keep SAYING you were +married. But it's strange--it's right STRANGE about that marriage." + +And he looked at the doctor hard and close, like he would drag the truth +out of him, and the doctor met his look free and open. You would of +thought Colonel Tom was saying with his look: "You MUST tell me the +truth." And the doctor with his was answering: "I HAVE told you the +truth." + +"But, Tom," says the doctor, "that letter she wrote you from Chicago +must--" + +"Do you know what Lucy wrote?" interrupts Colonel Tom. "I remember +exactly. It was simply: 'FORGIVE ME. I LOVED HIM SO. I AM HAPPY. I KNOW +IT IS WRONG, BUT I LOVE HIM SO YOU MUST FORGIVE ME.'" + +"But couldn't you tell from THAT we were married?" cries out the doctor. + +"She didn't mention it," says Colonel Tom. + +"She supposed that her own family had enough faith in her to take it for +granted," says the doctor, very scornful, his face getting red. + +"But wait, Dave," says Colonel Tom, quiet and cool. "Don't bluster with +me. There are still a lot of things to be explained. And that marriage +is one of them. + +"To go back a bit. You say you got to the house somewhere around ten +o'clock that evening and found Lucy gone. Do you remember the day of the +month?" + +"It was November 14, 1888." + +"Exactly," says Colonel Tom. "I got to Chicago at six o'clock of that +very day. And I went at once to the address in Lucy's letter. I got +there between seven and eight o'clock. She was gone. My thought was that +you must have got wind of my coming and persuaded her to leave with you +in order to avoid me--although I didn't see how you could know when I +would get there, either, when I thought it over." + +"And you have never seen her since," says Armstrong, pondering. + +"I HAVE seen her since," says Colonel Tom, "and that is one thing that +makes me say your story needs further explanation." + +"But where--when--did you see her?" asts the doctor, mighty excited. + +"I am coming to that. I went back home again. And in July of the next +year I heard from her." + +"Heard from her?" + +"By letter. She was in Galesburg, Illinois, if you know where that is. +She was living there alone. And she was almost destitute. I wrote her to +come home. She would not. But she had to live. I got rid of some of our +property in Tennessee, and took enough cash up there with me to fix her, +in a decent sort of way, for the rest of her life, and put it in the +bank. I was with her there for ten days; then I went back home to get +Aunt Lucy Davis to help me in another effort to persuade her to return. +But when I got back North with Aunt Lucy she had gone." + +"Gone?" + +"Yes, and when we returned without her to Tennessee there was a letter +telling us not to try to find her. We thought--I thought--that she might +have taken up with you once again." + +"But, my God! Tom," the doctor busts out, "you were with her ten days +there in Galesburg! Didn't she tell you then--couldn't you tell from the +way she acted--that she had married me?" + +"That's the odd thing, Dave," says the colonel, very slow and +thoughtful. "That's what is so very strange about it all. I merely +assumed by my attitude that you were not married, and she let me assume +it without a protest." + +"But did you ask her?" + +"Ask her? No. Can't you see that there was no reason why I should ask +her? I was sure. And being sure of it, naturally I didn't talk about it +to her. You can understand that I wouldn't, can't you? In fact, I never +mentioned you to her. She never mentioned you to me." + +"You must have mistaken her, Tom." + +"I don't think it's possible, Dave," said the colonel. "You can mistake +words and explanations a good deal easier than you can mistake an +atmosphere. No, Dave, I tell you that there's something odd about +it--married or not, Lucy didn't BELIEVE herself married the last time I +saw her." + +"But she MUST have known," says the doctor, as much to himself as to the +colonel. "She MUST have known." Any one could of told by the way he said +it that he wasn't lying. I could see that Colonel Tom believed in him, +too. They was both sicking their intellects onto the job of figgering +out how it was Lucy didn't know. Finally the doctor says very +thoughtful: + +"Whatever became of Prentiss McMakin, Tom?" + +"Dead," says Colonel Tom, "quite a while ago." + +"H-m," says the doctor, still thinking hard. And then looks at Colonel +Tom like they was an idea in his head. Which he don't speak her out. But +Colonel Tom seems to understand. + +"Yes," he says, nodding his head. "I think you are on the right track +now. Yes--I shouldn't wonder." + +Well, they puts this and that together, and they agrees that whatever +happened to make things hard to explain must of happened on that day +that Prentiss McMakin met the doctor in the bar-room, and didn't shoot +him, as he had made his brags he would. Must of happened between the +time that afternoon when Prentiss McMakin left the doctor and the time +Colonel Tom went out to see his sister and found she had went. Must of +happened somehow through Prent McMakin. + +We goes home with Colonel Tom that night. And the next day all three of +us is on our way to Athens, Indiany, where I had seen Miss Lucy at. + + + + + +CHAPTER XXIII + + +Fur my part, as the train kept getting further and further north, my +feelings kept getting more and more mixed. It come to me that I might be +steering straight fur a bunch of trouble. The feeling that sadness and +melancholy and seriousness was laying ahead of me kept me from really +enjoying them dollar-apiece meals on the train. It was Martha that done +it. All this past and gone love story I had been hearing about reminded +me of Martha. And I was steering straight toward her, and no way out of +it. How did I know but what that there girl might be expecting fur to +marry me, or something like that? Not but what I was awful in love with +her whilst we was together. But it hadn't really set in on me very +deep. I hadn't forgot about her right away. But purty soon I had got to +forgetting her oftener than I remembered her. And now it wasn't no use +talking--I jest wasn't in love with Martha no more, and didn't have +no ambition to be. I had went around the country a good bit, and got +intrusted in other things, and saw several other girls I liked purty +well. Keeping steady in love with jest one girl is mighty hard if you +are moving around a good bit. + +But I was considerable worried about Martha. She was an awful romanceful +kind of girl. And even the most sensible kind is said to be fools about +getting their hearts broke and pining away and dying over a feller. I +would hate to think Martha had pined herself sick. + +I couldn't shut my eyes to the fact we was engaged to each other legal, +all right. And if she wanted to act mean about it and take it to a court +it would likely be binding on me. Then I says to myself is she is mean +enough to do that I'll be derned if I don't go to jail before I marry +her, and stay there. + +And then my conscience got to working inside of me agin. And a picture +of her getting thin and not eating her vittles regular and waiting and +waiting fur me to show up, and me never doing it, come to me. And I felt +sorry fur poor Martha, and thought mebby I would marry her jest to keep +her from dying. Fur you would feel purty tough if a girl was to get so +stuck on you it killed her. Not that I ever seen that really happen, +either; but first and last there has been considerable talk about it. + +It wasn't but what I liked Martha well enough. It was the idea of +getting married, and staying married, made me feel so anxious. Being +married may work out all right fur some folks. But I knowed it never +would work any with me. Or not fur long. Because why should I want to be +tied down to one place, or have a steady job? That would be a mean way +to live. + +Of course, with a person that was the doctor's age it would be +different. He had done his running around and would be willing to settle +down now, I guessed. That is, if he could get his differences with this +here Buckner family patched up satisfactory. I wondered whether he would +be able to or not. Him and Colonel Tom were talking constant on the +train all the way up. From the little stretches of their talk I couldn't +help hearing, I guessed each one was telling the other all that had +happened to him in the time that had passed by. Colonel Tom what kind +of a life he had lived, and how he had married and his wife had died and +left him a widower without any kids. And the doctor--it was always +hard fur me to get to calling him anything but Doctor Kirby--how he had +happened to start out with a good chancet in life and turn into jest a +travelling fakir. + +Well, I thinks to myself now that he has got to be that, mebby her and +him won't suit so well now, even if they does get their differences +patched up. Fur all the forgiving in the world ain't going to change +things, or make them no different. But, so long as the doctor appeared +to want to find her so derned bad, I was awful glad I had been the means +of getting him and Miss Lucy together. He had done a lot fur me, first +and last, the doctor had, and I felt like it helped pay him a little. +Though if they was to settle down like married folks I would feel like a +good old sport was spoiled in the doctor, too. + +We had to change cars at Indianapolis to get to that there little town. +We was due to reach it about two o'clock in the afternoon. And the +nearer we got to the place the nervouser and nervouser all three of us +become. And not owning we was. The last hour before we hit the place, I +took a drink of water every three minutes, I was so nervous. And when +we come into the town I was already standing out onto the platform. I +wouldn't of been surprised to find Martha and Miss Lucy down there to +the station. But, of course, they wasn't. Fur some reason I felt glad +they wasn't. + +"Now," I says to them two, as we got off the train, "foller me and I +will show you the house." + +Everybody rubbers at strangers in a country town, and wonders why they +have come, and what they is selling, and if they are mebby going to +start a new grain elevator, or buy land, or what. The usual ones around +the depot rubbered at us, and I hearn one geezer say to another: + +"See that big feller there? He was through here a year or two ago +selling patent medicine." + +"You don't say so!" says the other one, like it was something important, +like a president or a circus had come, and his eyes a-bugging out. And +the doctor hearn them, too. Fur some reason or other he flushed up and +cut a look out of the corner of his eye at Colonel Tom. + +We went right through the main street and out toward the edge of town, +by the crick, where Miss Lucy's house was. And, if anything, all of us +feeling nervouser yet. And saying nothing and not looking at each other. +And Colonel Tom rolling cigarettes and fumbling fur matches and lighting +them and slinging them away. Fur how does anybody know how women is +going to take even the most ordinary little things? + +I knowed the way well enough, and where the house was, but as we went +around the turn in the road I run acrost a surprised feeling. I come +onto the place where our campfire had been them nights we was there. +Looey had drug an old fence post onto the fire one night, and the post +had only burned half up. The butt end of it, all charred and flaked, +was still laying in the grass and weeds there. It hit me with a queer +feeling--like it was only yesterday that fire had been lit there. And +yet I knowed it had been a year and a half ago. + +Well, it has always been my luck to run into things without the right +kind of a lie fixed up ahead of time. They was three or four purty good +stories I had been trying over in my head to tell Martha when I seen +her. Any one of them stories might of done all right; but I hadn't +decided WHICH one to use. And, of course, I run plumb into Martha. She +was standing by the gate, which was about twenty yards from the veranda. +And all four lies popped into my head at oncet, and got so mixed up +with one another there, I seen right off it was useless to try to tell +anything that sounded straight. Besides, when you are in the fix I was +in, what can you tell a girl anyhow? + +So I jest says to her: + +"Hullo!" + +Martha, she had been fussing around some flower bushes with a pair of +shears and gloves on. She looks up when I says that, and she sizes us +all up standing by the gate, and her eyes pops open, and so does her +mouth, and she is so surprised to see me she drops her shears. + +And she looks scared, too. + +"Is Miss Buckner at home?" asts Colonel Tom, lifting his hat very +polite. + +"Miss B-B-Buckner?" Martha stutters, very scared-like, and not taking +her eyes off of me to answer him. + +"Miss Hampton, Martha," I says. + +"Y-y-y-es, s-sh-she is," says Martha. I wondered what was the matter +with her. + +It is always my luck to get left all alone with my troubles. The doctor +and the colonel, they walked right past us when she said yes, and up +toward the house, and left her and me standing there. I could of went +along and butted in, mebby. But I says to myself I will have the derned +thing out here and now, and know the worst. And I was so interested in +my trouble and Martha that I didn't even notice if Miss Lucy met 'em at +the door, and if so, how she acted. When I next looked up they was all +in the house. + +"Martha--" I begins. But she breaks in. + +"Danny," she says, looking like she is going to cry, "don't l-l-look at +me l-l-like that. If you knew ALL you wouldn't blame me. You--" + +"Wouldn't blame you fur what?" I asts her. + +"I know it's wrong of me," she says, begging-like. + +"Mebby it is and mebby it ain't," I says. "But what is it?" + +"But you never wrote to me," she says. + +"You never wrote to me," I says, not wanting her to get the best of me, +whatever it was she might be talking about. + +"And then HE came to town!--" + +"Who?" I asts her. + +"Don't you know?" she says. "The man I am going to marry." + +When she said that I felt, all of a sudden, like when you are broke and +hungry and run acrost a half dollar you had forgot about in your other +pants. I was so glad I jumped. + +"Great guns!" I says. + +I had never really knowed what being glad was before. + +"Oh, Danny, Danny," she says, putting her hands in front of her face, +"and here you have come to claim me for your bride!" + +Which showed me why she had looked so scared. That there girl had went +and got engaged to another feller. And had been laying awake nights +suffering fur fear I would turn up agin. And now I had. Looey, he always +said never to trust a woman! + +"Martha," I says, "you ain't acted right with me." + +"Oh, Danny, Danny," she says, "I know it! I know it!" + +"Some fellers in my place," I says, "would raise a dickens of a row." + +"I DID love you once," she says, looking at me from between her fingers. + +"Yes," says I, acting real melancholy, "you did. And now you've quit it, +they don't seem to me to be nothing left to live fur." Martha, she was +an awful romanceful girl. I got the notion that mebby she was enjoying +her own remorsefulness a little bit. I fetched a deep sigh and I says: + +"Some fellers would kill theirselves on the spot!" + +"Oh!--Oh!--Oh!--" says Martha. + +"But, Martha," says I, "I ain't that mean. I ain't going to do that." + +That dern girl ackshellay give me a disappointed look! If anything, she +was jest a bit TOO romanceful, Martha was. + +"No," says I, cheering up a little, "I am going to do something they +ain't many fellers would do, Martha. I'm going to forgive you. Free and +fair and open. And give you back my half of that ring, and--" + +Dern it! I had forgot I had lost that half of that there ring! I +remembered so quick it stopped me. + +"You always kept it, Danny?" she asts me, very soft-spoken, so as not to +give pain to one so faithful and so noble as what I was. "Let me see it, +Danny." + +I made like I was feeling through all my pockets fur it. But that +couldn't last forever. I run out of pockets purty soon. And her face +begun to show she was smelling a rat. Finally I says: + +"These ain't my other clothes--it must be in them." + +"Danny," she says, "I believe you LOST it." + +"Martha," I says, taking a chancet, "you know you lost YOUR half!" + +She owns up she has lost it a long while ago. And when she lost it, she +says, she knowed that was fate and that our love was omened in under an +evil star. And who was she, she says, to struggle agin fate? + +"Martha," I says, "I'll be honest with you. Fate got away with my +half too one day when I didn't know they was crooks like her sticking +around." + +Well, I seen that girl seen through me then. Martha was awful smart +sometimes. And each one was so derned tickled the other one wasn't going +to do any pining away we like to of fell into love all over agin. But +not quite. Fur neither one would ever trust the other one agin. So we +felt more comfortable with each other. You ain't never comfortable with +a person you know is more honest than you be. + +"But," says Martha, after a minute, "if you didn't come back to make me +marry you, what does Doctor Kirby want to see Miss Hampton about? And +who was that with him?" + +I had been nigh to forgetting the main thing we had all come here fur, +in my gladness at getting rid of any danger of marrying Martha. But it +come to me all to oncet I had been missing a lot that must be taking +place inside that house. I had even missed the way they first looked +when she met 'em at the door, and I wouldn't of missed that fur a lot. +And I seen all to oncet what a big piece of news it will be to Martha. + +"Martha," I says, "they ain't no Dr. Hartley L. Kirby. The man known as +such is David Armstrong!" + +I never seen any one so peetrified as Martha was fur a minute. + +"Yes," says I, "and the other one is Miss Lucy's brother. And they +are all three in there straightening themselves out and finding where +everybody gets off at, and why. One of these here serious times you read +about. And you and me are missing it all, like a couple of gumps. How +can we hear?" + +Martha says she don't know. + +"You THINK," I told her. "We've wasted five good minutes already. I've +GOT to hear the rest of it. Where would they be?" + +Martha guesses they will all be in the sitting room, which has got the +best chairs in it. + +"What is next to it? A back parlour, or a bedroom, or what?" I was +thinking of how I happened to overhear Perfessor Booth and his fambly +that-a-way. + +Martha says they is nothing like that to be tried. + +"Martha," I says, "this is serious. This here story they are thrashing +out in there is the only derned sure-enough romanceful story either +you or me is ever lible to run up against personal in all our lives. It +would of been a good deal nicer if they had ast us in to see the wind-up +of it. Fur, if it hadn't of been fur me, they never would of been +reunited and rejuvenated the way they be. But some people get stingy +streaks with their concerns. You think!" + +Martha, she says: "Danny, it wouldn't be honourable to listen." + +"Martha," I tells her, "after the way you and me went and jilted each +other, what kind of senses of honour have WE got to brag about?" + +She remembers that the spare bedroom is right over the sitting room. +The house is heated with stoves in the winter time. There is a register +right through the floor of the spare bedroom and the ceiling of +the sitting room. Not the kind of a register that comes from a +twisted-around shaft in a house that uses furnace heat. But jest really +a hole in the floor, with a cast-iron grating, to let the heat from +the room below into the one above. She says she guesses two people that +wasn't so very honourable might sneak into the house the back way, and +up the back stairs, and into the spare bedroom, and lay down on their +stummicks on the floor, being careful to make no noise, and both see and +hear through that register. Which we done it. + + + + + +CHAPTER XXIV + + +I could hear well enough, but at first I couldn't see any of them. But +I gathered that Miss Lucy was standing up whilst she was talking, and +moving around a bit now and then. I seen one of her sleeves, and then a +wisp of her hair. Which was aggervating, fur I wanted to know what she +was like. But her voice was so soft and quiet that you kind of knowed +before you seen her how she orter look. + +"Prentiss McMakin came to me that day," she was saying, "with an +appeal--I hardly know how to tell you." She broke off. + +"Go ahead, Lucy," says Colonel Tom's voice. + +"He was insulting," she said. "He had been drinking. He wanted me +to--to--he appealed to me to run off with him. + +"I was furious--NATURALLY." Her voice changed as she said it enough so +you could feel how furious Miss Lucy could get. She was like her brother +Tom in some ways. + +"I ordered him out of the house. His answer to that was an offer to +marry me. You can imagine that I was surprised as well as angry--I was +perplexed. + +"'But I AM married!' I cried. The idea that any of my own people, or any +one whom I had known at home, would think I wasn't married was too much +for me to take in all at once. + +"'You THINK you are,' said Prentiss McMakin, with a smile. + +"In spite of myself my breath stopped. It was as if a chilly hand had +taken hold of my heart. I mean, physically, I felt like that. + +"'I AM married,' I repeated, simply. + +"I suppose that McMakin had got the story of our wedding from YOU." She +stopped a minute. The doctor's voice answered: + +"I suppose so," like he was a very tired man. + +"Anyhow," she went on, "he knew that we went first to Clarksville. He +said: + +"'You think you are married, Lucy, but you are not.' + +"I wish you to understand that Prentiss McMakin did it all very, very +well. That is my excuse. He acted well. There was something about +him--I scarcely know how to put it. It sounds odd, but the truth is that +Prentiss McMakin was always a more convincing sort of a person when he +had been drinking a little than when he was sober. He lacked warmth--he +lacked temperament. I suppose just the right amount put it into him. It +put the devil into him, too, I reckon. + +"He told me that you and he, Tom, had been to Clarksville, and had made +investigations, and that the wedding was a fraud. And he told it with a +wealth of convincing detail. In the midst of it he broke off to ask to +see my wedding certificate. As he talked, he laughed at it, and tore +it up, saying that the thing was not worth the paper it was on, and he +threw the pieces of paper into the grate. I listened, and I let him do +it--not that the paper itself mattered particularly. But the very fact +that I let him tear it showed me, myself, that I was believing him. + +"He ended with an impassioned appeal to me to go with him. + +"I showed him the door. I pretended to the last that I thought he was +lying to me. But I did not think so. I believed him. He had done it +all very cleverly. You can understand how I might--in view of what had +happened?" + +I wanted to see Miss Lucy--how she looked when she said different +things, so I could make up my mind whether she was forgiving the doctor +or not. Not that I had much doubt but what they would get their personal +troubles fixed up in the end. The iron grating in the floor was held +down by four good-sized screws, one at each corner. They wasn't no +filling at all betwixt it and the iron grating that was in the ceiling +of the room below. The space was hollow. I got an idea and took out my +jack-knife. + +"What are you going to do?" whispers Martha. + +"S-sh-sh," I says, "shut up, and you'll see." + +One of the screws was loose, and I picked her out easy enough. The +second one I broke the point off of my knife blade on. Like you nearly +always do on a screw. When it snapped Colonel Tom he says: + +"What's that?" He was powerful quick of hearing, Colonel Tom was. I laid +low till they went on talking agin. Then Martha slides out on tiptoe and +comes back in three seconds with one of these here little screw-drivers +they use around sewing-machines and the little oil can that goes with +it. I oils them screws and has them out in a holy minute, and lifts the +grating from the floor careful and lays it careful on the rug. + +By doing all of which I could get my head and shoulders down into that +there hole. And by twisting my neck a good deal, see a little ways to +each side into the room, instead of jest underneath the grating. The +doctor I couldn't see yet, and only a little of Colonel Tom, but Miss +Lucy quite plain. + +"You mean thing," Martha whispers, "you are blocking it up so I can't +hear." + +"Keep still," I whispers, pulling my head out of the hole so the sound +wouldn't float downward into the room below. "You are jest like all +other women--you got too much curiosity." + +"How about yourself?" says she. + +"Who was it thought of taking the grating off?" I whispers back to her. +Which settles her temporary, but she says if I don't give her a chancet +at it purty soon she will tickle my ribs. + +When I listens agin they are burying that there Prent McMakin. But +without any flowers. + +Miss Lucy, she was half setting on, half leaning against, the arm of a +chair. Which her head was jest a bit bowed down so that I couldn't see +her eyes. But they was the beginnings of a smile onto her face. It was +both soft and sad. + +"Well," says Colonel Tom, "you two have wasted almost twenty years of +life." + +"There is one good thing," says the doctor. "It is a good thing that +there was no child to suffer by our mistakes." + +She raised her face when he said that, Miss Lucy did, and looked in his +direction. + +"You call that a good thing?" she says, in a kind of wonder. And after +a minute she sighs. "Perhaps," she says, "you are right. Heaven only +knows. Perhaps it WAS better that he died." + +"DIED!" sings out the doctor. + +And I hearn his chair scrape back, like he had riz to his feet sudden. +I nearly busted my neck trying fur to see him, but I couldn't. I was all +twisted up, head down, and the blood getting into my head from it so I +had to pull it out every little while. + +"Yes," she says, with her eyes wide, "didn't you know he died?" And then +she turns quick toward Colonel Tom. "Didn't you tell him--" she begins. +But the doctor cuts in. + +"Lucy," he says, his voice shaking and croaking in his throat, "I never +knew there was a child!" + +I hears Colonel Tom hawk in HIS throat like a man who is either going +to spit or else say something. But he don't do either one. No one says +anything fur a minute. And then Miss Lucy says agin: + +"Yes--he died." + +And then she fell into a kind of a muse. I have been myself in the fix +she looked to be in then--so you forget fur a while where you are, or +who is there, whilst you think about something that has been in the back +part of your mind fur a long, long time. + +What she was musing about was that child that hadn't lived. I could tell +that by her face. I could tell how she must have thought of it, often +and often, fur years and years, and longed fur it, so that it seemed to +her at times she could almost touch it. And how good a mother she would +of been to it. Some women has jest natcherally GOT to mother something +or other. Miss Lucy was one of that kind. I knowed all in a flash, +whilst I looked at her there, why she had adopted Martha fur her child. + +It was a wonderful look that was onto her face. And it was a wonderful +face that look was onto. I felt like I had knowed her forever when I +seen her there. Like the thoughts of her the doctor had been carrying +around with him fur years and years, and that I had caught him thinking +oncet or twicet, had been my thoughts too, all my life. + +Miss Lucy, she was one of the kind there's no use trying to describe. +The feller that could see her that-a-way and not feel made good by it +orter have a whaling. Not the kind of sticky, good feeling that makes +you uncomfortable, like being pestered by your conscience to jine a +church or quit cussing. But the kind of good that makes you forget they +is anything on earth but jest braveness of heart and being willing to +bear things you can't help. You knowed the world had hurt her a lot when +you seen her standing there; but you didn't have the nerve to pity her +none, either. Fur you could see she had got over pitying herself. Even +when she was in that muse, longing with all her soul fur that child she +had never knowed, you didn't have the nerve to pity her none. + +"He died," she says agin, purty soon, with that gentle kind of smile. + +Colonel Tom, he clears his throat agin. Like when you are awful dry. + +"The truth is--" he begins. + +And then he breaks off agin. Miss Lucy turns toward him when he speaks. +By the strange look that come onto her face there must of been something +right curious in HIS manner too. I was jest simply laying onto my +forehead mashing one of my dern eyeballs through a little hole in the +grating. But I couldn't, even that way, see fur enough to one side to +see how HE looked. + +"The truth is," says Colonel Tom, trying it agin, "that I--well, Lucy, +the child may be dead, but he didn't die when you thought he did." + +There was a flash of hope flared into her face that I hated to see come +there. Because when it died out in a minute, as I expected it would have +to, it looked to me like it might take all her life out with it. Her +lips parted like she was going to say something with them. But she +didn't. She jest looked it. + +"Why did you never tell me this--that there was a child?" says the +doctor, very eager. + +"Wait," says Colonel Tom, "let me tell the story in my own way." + +Which he done it. It seems when he had went to Galesburg this here child +had only been born a few days. And Miss Lucy was still sick. And the kid +itself was sick, and liable to die any minute, by the looks of things. + +Which Colonel Tom wishes that it would die, in his heart. He thinks that +it is an illegitimate child, and he hates the idea of it and he hates +the sight of it. The second night he is there he is setting in his +sister's room, and the woman that has been nursing the kid and Miss Lucy +too is in the next room with the kid. + +She comes to the door and beckons to him, the nurse does. He tiptoes +toward her, and she says to him, very low-voiced, that "it is all over." +Meaning the kid has quit struggling fur to live, and jest natcherally +floated away. The nurse had thought Miss Lucy asleep, but as both her +and Colonel Tom turn quick toward her bed they see that she has heard +and seen, and she turns her face toward the wall. Which he tries fur to +comfort her, Colonel Tom does, telling her as how it is an illegitimate +child, and fur its own sake it was better it was dead before it ever +lived any. Which she don't answer of him back, but only stares in +a wild-eyed way at him, and lays there and looks desperate, and says +nothing. + +In his heart Colonel Tom is awful glad that it is dead. He can't help +feeling that way. And he quits trying to talk to his sister, fur he +suspicions that she will ketch onto the fact that he is glad that it is +dead. He goes on into the next room. + +He finds the nurse looking awful funny, and bending over the dead kid. +She is putting a looking-glass to its lips. He asts her why. + +She says she thought she might be mistaken after all. She couldn't +say jest WHEN it died. It was alive and feeble, and then purty soon it +showed no signs of life. It was like it hadn't had enough strength to +stay and had jest went. I didn't show any pulse, and it didn't appear +to be breathing. And she had watched it and done everything before she +beckoned to Colonel Tom and told him that it was dead. But as she come +back into the room where it was she thought she noticed something that +was too light to be called a real flutter move its eyelids, which she +had closed down over its eyes. It was the ghost of a move, like it had +tried to raise the lids, or they had tried to raise theirselves, and had +been too weak. So she has got busy and wrapped a hot cloth around it, +and got a drop of brandy or two between its lips, and was fighting to +bring it back to life. And thought she was doing it. Thought she had +felt a little flutter in its chest, and was trying if it had breath at +all. + +Colonel Tom thinks of what big folks the Buckner fambly has always been +at home. And how high they had always held their heads. And how none of +the women has ever been like this before. Nor no disgrace of any kind. +And that there kid, if it is alive, is a sign of disgrace. And he hoped +to God, he said, it wasn't alive. + +But he don't say so. He stands there and watches that nurse fight fur to +hold onto the little mist of life she thinks now is still into it. She +unbuttons her dress and lays the kid against the heat of her own breast. +And wills fur it to live, and fights fur it to, and determines that it +must, and jest natcherally tries fur to bullyrag death into going away. +And Colonel Tom watching, and wishing that it wouldn't. But he gets +interested in that there fight, and so purty soon he is hoping both ways +by spells. And the fight all going on without a word spoken. + +But finally the nurse begins fur to cry. Not because she is sure it is +dead. But because she is sure it is coming back. Which it does, slow. + +"'But I have told HER that it is dead,'" says Colonel Tom, jerking his +head toward the other room where Miss Lucy is lying. He speaks in a low +voice and closes the door when he speaks. Fur it looks now like it was +getting strong enough so it might even squall a little. + +"I don't know what kind of a look there was on my face," says Colonel +Tom, telling of the story to his sister and the doctor, "but she must +have seen that I was--and heaven help me, but I WAS!--sorry that the +baby was alive. It would have been such an easy way out of it had it +been really dead! + +"'She mustn't know that it is living,' I said to the nurse, finally," +says Colonel Tom, going on with his story. I had been watching Miss +Lucy's face as Colonel Tom talked and she was so worked up by that fight +fur the kid's life she was breathless. But her eyes was cast down, I +guess so her brother couldn't see them. Colonel Tom goes on with his +story: + +"'You don't mean--' said the nurse, startled. + +"'No! No!' I said, 'of course--not that! But--why should she ever know +that it didn't die?'" + +"'It is illegitimate?' asked the nurse. + +"'Yes,' I said." The long and short of it was, Colonel Tom went on to +tell, that the nurse went out and got her mother. Which the two of them +lived alone, only around the corner. And give the child into the keeping +of her mother, who took it away then and there. + +Colonel Tom had made up his mind there wasn't going to be no bastards in +the Buckner fambly. And now that Miss Lucy thought it was dead he would +let her keep on thinking so. And that would be settled for good and all. +He figgered that it wouldn't ever hurt her none if she never knowed it. + +The nurse's mother kept it all that week, and it throve. Colonel Tom was +coaxing of his sister to go back to Tennessee. But she wouldn't go. So +he had made up his mind to go back and get his Aunt Lucy Davis to come +and help him coax. He was only waiting fur his sister to get well enough +so he could leave her. She got better, and she never ast fur the kid, +nor said nothing about it. Which was probable because she seen he hated +it so. He had made up his mind, before he went back after their Aunt +Lucy Davis, to take the baby himself and put it into some kind of an +institution. + +"I thought," he says to Miss Lucy, telling of the story, "that you +yourself were almost reconciled to the thought that it hadn't lived." + +Miss Lucy interrupted him with a little sound. She was breathing hard, +and shaking from head to foot. No one would have thought to look at her +then she was reconciled to the idea that it hadn't lived. It was cruel +hard on her to tear her to pieces with the news that it really had +lived, but had lived away from her all these years she had been longing +fur it. And no chancet fur her ever to mother it. And no way to tell +what had ever become of it. I felt awful sorry fur Miss Lucy then. + +"But when I got ready to leave Galesburg," Colonel Tom goes on, "it +suddenly occurred to me that there would be difficulties in the way of +putting it in a home of any sort. I didn't know what to do with it--" + +"What DID you? What DID you? WHAT DID YOU?" cries out Miss Lucy, +pressing her hand to her chest, like she was smothering. + +"The first thing I did," says Colonel Tom, "was to get you to another +house--you remember, Lucy?" + +"Yes, yes!" she says, excited, "and what then?" + +"Perhaps I did a very foolish thing," says Colonel Tom. + +"After I had seen you installed in the new place and had bidden you +good-bye, I got a carriage and drove by the place where the nurse and +her mother lived. I told the woman that I had changed my mind--that you +were going to raise the baby--that I was going to permit it. I don't +think she quite believed me, but she gave me the baby. What else could +she do? Besides, I had paid her well, when I discharged her, to say +nothing to you, and to keep the baby until I should come for it. They +needed money; they were poor. + +"I was determined that it should never be heard of again. It was about +noon when I left Galesburg. I drove all that afternoon, with the baby +in a basket on the seat of the carriage beside me. Everybody has read +in books, since books were first written--and seen in newspapers, +too--about children being left on door steps. Given an infant to dispose +of, that is perhaps the first thing that occurs to a person. There was +a thick plaid shawl wrapped about the child. In the basket, beside the +baby, was a nursing bottle. About dusk I had it refilled with warm milk +at a farmhouse near--" + +My head was beginning fur to swim. I pulled my head out of that there +hole, and rammed my foot into it. It banged against that grating and +loosened it. It busted loose some plaster, which showered down into the +room underneath. Miss Lucy, she screamed. And the doctor and Colonel Tom +both yelled out to oncet: + +"Who's that?" + +"It's me," I yells, banging that grating agin. "Watch out below there!" +And the third lick I give her she broke loose and clattered down right +onto a centre table and spilled over some photographs and a vase full of +flowers, and bounced off onto the floor. + +"Look out below," I yells, "I'm coming down!" + +I let my legs through first, and swung them so I would land to one side +of the table, and held by my hands, and dropped. But struck the table a +sideways swipe and turned it over, and fell onto the floor. The doctor, +he grabbed me by the collar and straightened me up, and give me a shake +and stood me onto my feet. + +"What do you mean--" he begins. But I breaks in. + +"Now then," I says to Colonel Tom, "did you leave that there child +sucking that there bottle on the doorstep of a blacksmith's house next +to his shop at the edge of a little country town about twenty miles +northeast of Galesburg wrapped up in that there plaid shawl?" + +"I did," says Colonel Tom. + +"Then," says I, turning to Miss Lucy, "I can understand why I have been +feeling drawed to YOU fur quite a spell. I'm him." + + + + Transcribers Note: The following changes made: + ORIGINAL + PAGE LINE ORIGINAL CHANGED TO + 17 28 Primose, Primrose, + 41 12 jests looks jest looks + 83 14 to, too, + 84 4 jests sets jest sets + 89 28 it it. + 99 13 our fur out fur + 121 4 Chieftan. Chieftain. + 121 16 i it if it + 160 8 them. then. + 183 18 sir fo' sir, fo' + 189 16 shedon' she don' + 207 22 purty seen purty soon + 210 5 They way The way + 212 6 pintetdly pintedly + 251 2 Witherses.' Witherses'. + 251 22 toe hurt to hurt + 269 3 "Gentleman, "Gentlemen, + 276 19 'Will," "Will," + 282 9 won't!" won't + 288 16 real y really + 292 10 t ouble. trouble. + 308 1 al right all right + 316 4 I says," they I says, "they + + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Danny's Own Story, by Don Marquis + +*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK DANNY'S OWN STORY *** + +***** This file should be named 587.txt or 587.zip ***** +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: + http://www.gutenberg.org/5/8/587/ + +Produced by Judith Boss + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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If you + don't derive profits, no royalty is due. Royalties are + payable to "Project Gutenberg Association / Benedictine + University" within the 60 days following each + date you prepare (or were legally required to prepare) + your annual (or equivalent periodic) tax return. + +WHAT IF YOU *WANT* TO SEND MONEY EVEN IF YOU DON'T HAVE TO? +The Project gratefully accepts contributions in money, time, +scanning machines, OCR software, public domain etexts, royalty +free copyright licenses, and every other sort of contribution +you can think of. Money should be paid to "Project Gutenberg +Association / Benedictine University". + +*END*THE SMALL PRINT! FOR PUBLIC DOMAIN ETEXTS*Ver.04.29.93*END* + + + + + + + +DANNY'S OWN STORY +BY + +DON MARQUIS + + +TO +MY WIFE + + + + +CHAPTER I + + +HOW I come not to have a last name is a +question that has always had more or less +aggervation mixed up with it. I might +of had one jest as well as not if Old Hank Walters +hadn't been so all-fired, infernal bull-headed about +things in gineral, and his wife Elmira a blame sight +worse, and both of em ready to row at a minute's +notice and stick to it forevermore. + +Hank, he was considerable of a lusher. One +Saturday night, when he come home from the vil- +lage in his usual fix, he stumbled over a basket that +was setting on his front steps. Then he got up and +drawed back his foot unsteady to kick it plumb +into kingdom come. Jest then he hearn Elmira +opening the door behind him, and he turned his +head sudden. But the kick was already started +into the air, and when he turns he can't stop it. +And so Hank gets twisted and falls down and steps +on himself. That basket lets out a yowl. + +"It's kittens," says Hank, still setting down and +staring at that there basket. All of which, you +understand, I am a-telling you from hearsay, as +the lawyers always asts you in court. + +Elmira, she sings out: + +"Kittens, nothing! It's a baby!" + +And she opens the basket and looks in and it was +me. + +"Hennerey Walters," she says -- picking me +up, and shaking me at him like I was a crime, "Hen- +nerey Walters, where did you get this here baby?" +She always calls him Hennerey when she is getting +ready to give him fits. + +Hank, he scratches his head, for he's kind o' +confuddled, and thinks mebby he really has brought +this basket with him. He tries to think of all the +places he has been that night. But he can't think of +any place but Bill Nolan's saloon. So he says: + +"Elmira, honest, I ain't had but one drink all +day." And then he kind o' rouses up a little bit, +and gets surprised and says: + +"That a BABY you got there, Elmira?" And +then he says, dignified: "So fur as that's consarned, +Elmira, where did YOU get that there baby?" + +She looks at him, and she sees he don't really know +where I come from. Old Hank mostly was truth- +ful when lickered up, fur that matter, and she +knowed it, fur he couldn't think up no lies excepting +a gineral denial when intoxicated up to the gills. + +Elmira looks into the basket. They was one of +them long rubber tubes stringing out of a bottle +that was in it, and I had been sucking that bottle +when interrupted. And they wasn't nothing else +in that basket but a big thick shawl which had +been wrapped all around me, and Elmira often +wore it to meeting afterward. She goes inside +and she looks at the bottle and me by the light, +and Old Hank, he comes stumbling in afterward +and sets down in a chair and waits to get Hail +Columbia for coming home in that shape, so's he +can row back agin, like they done every Saturday +night. + +Blowed in the glass of the bottle was the name: +"Daniel, Dunne and Company." Anybody but +them two old ignoramuses could of told right off +that that didn't have nothing to do with me, but +was jest the company that made them kind of +bottles. But she reads it out loud three or four +times, and then she says: + +"His name is Daniel Dunne," she says. + +"And Company," says Hank, feeling right +quarrelsome. + +"COMPANY hain't no name," says she. + +"WHY hain't it, I'd like to know?" says Hank. +"I knowed a man oncet whose name was Farmer, +and if a farmer's a name why ain't a company a +name too?" + +"His name is Daniel Dunne," says Elmira, quiet- +like, but not dodging a row, neither. + +"AND COMPANY," says Hank, getting onto his +feet, like he always done when he seen trouble +coming. When Old Hank was full of licker he +knowed jest the ways to aggervate her the worst. + +She might of banged him one the same as usual, +and got her own eye blacked also, the same as +usual; but jest then I lets out another big yowl, +and she give me some milk. + +I guess the only reason they ever kep' me at +first was so they could quarrel about my name. +They'd lived together a good many years and +quarrelled about everything else under the sun, and +was running out of subjects. A new subject kind +o' briskened things up fur a while. + +But finally they went too far with it one time. +I was about two years old then and he was still +calling me Company and her calling me Dunne. +This time he hits her a lick that lays her out and +likes to kill her, and it gets him scared. But she +gets around agin after a while, and they both see +it has went too fur that time, and so they makes up. + +"Elmira, I give in," says Hank. "His name is +Dunne." + +"No," says she, tender-like, "you was right, +Hank. His name is Company." So they pretty +near got into another row over that. But they +finally made it up between em I didn't have no +last name, and they'd jest call me Danny. Which +they both done faithful ever after, as agreed. + +Old Hank, he was a blacksmith, and he used to +lamm me considerable, him and his wife not having +any kids of their own to lick. He lammed me when +he was drunk, and he whaled me when he was sober. +I never helt it up agin him much, neither, not fur +a good many years, because he got me used to it +young, and I hadn't never knowed nothing else. +Hank's wife, Elmira, she used to lick him jest about +as often as he licked her, and boss him jest as much. +So he fell back on me. A man has jest naturally +got to have something to cuss around and boss, +so's to keep himself from finding out he don't +amount to nothing. Leastways, most men is like +that. And Hank, he didn't amount to much; and +he kind o' knowed it, way down deep in his inmost +gizzards, and it were a comfort to him to have me +around. + +But they was one thing he never sot no store by, +and I got along now to where I hold that up agin +him more'n all the lickings he ever done. That +was book learning. He never had none himself, +and he was sot agin it, and he never made me get +none, and if I'd ever asted him for any he'd of +whaled me fur that. Hank's wife, Elmira, had +married beneath her, and everybody in our town +had come to see it, and used to sympathize with +her about it when Hank wasn't around. She'd +tell em, yes, it was so. Back in Elmira, New +York, from which her father and mother come to +our part of Illinoise in the early days, her father +had kep' a hotel, and they was stylish kind o' +folks. When she was born her mother was homesick +fur all that style and fur York State ways, and so +she named her Elmira. + +But when she married Hank, he had considerable +land. His father had left it to him, but it was all +swamp land, and so Hank's father, he hunted +more'n he farmed, and Hank and his brothers +done the same when he was a boy. But Hank, +he learnt a little blacksmithing when he was growing +up, cause he liked to tinker around and to show how +stout he was. Then, when he married Elmira +Appleton, he had to go to work practising that +perfession reg'lar, because he never learnt nothing +about farming. He'd sell fifteen or twenty acres, +every now and then, and they'd be high times till +he'd spent it up, and mebby Elmira would get +some new clothes. + +But when I was found on the door step, the land +was all gone, and Hank was practising reg'lar, +when not busy cussing out the fellers that had bought +the land. Fur some smart fellers had come along, +and bought up all that swamp land and dreened +it, and now it was worth seventy or eighty dollars +an acre. Hank, he figgered some one had cheated +him. Which the Walterses could of dreened theirn +too, only they'd ruther hunt ducks and have fish +frys than to dig ditches. All of which I hearn +Elmira talking over with the neighbours more'n +once when I was growing up, and they all says: +"How sad it is you have came to this, Elmira!" +And then she'd kind o' spunk up and say, thanks to +glory, she'd kep' her pride. + +Well, they was worse places to live in than that +there little town, even if they wasn't no railroad +within eight miles, and only three hundred soles +in the hull copperation. Which Hank's shop and +our house set in the edge of the woods jest outside +the copperation line, so's the city marshal didn't +have no authority to arrest him after he +crossed it. + +They was one thing in that house I always +admired when I was a kid. And that was a big +cistern. Most people has their cisterns outside +their house, and they is a tin pipe takes all the rain +water off the roof and scoots it into them. Ourn +worked the same, but our cistern was right in under +our kitchen floor, and they was a trap door with +leather hinges opened into it right by the kitchen +stove. But that wasn't why I was so proud of it. +It was because that cistern was jest plumb full of +fish -- bullheads and red horse and sunfish and +other kinds. + +Hank's father had built that cistern. And one +time he brung home some live fish in a bucket and +dumped em in there. And they growed. And +they multiplied in there and refurnished the earth. +So that cistern had got to be a fambly custom, which +was kep' up in that fambly for a habit. It was a +great comfort to Hank, fur all them Walterses was +great fish eaters, though it never went to brains. +We fed em now and then, and throwed back in the +little ones till they was growed, and kep' the dead +ones picked out soon's we smelled anything wrong, +and it never hurt the water none; and when I was +a kid I wouldn't of took anything fur living in a +house like that. + +Oncet, when I was a kid about six years old, +Hank come home from the bar-room. He got to +chasing Elmira's cat cause he says it was making +faces at him. The cistern door was open, and Hank +fell in. Elmira was over to town, and I was scared. +She had always told me not to fool around there +none when I was a little kid, fur if I fell in there +I'd be a corpse quicker'n scatt. + +So when Hank fell in, and I hearn him splash, +being only a little feller, and awful scared because +Elmira had always made it so strong, I hadn't no +sort of unbelief but what Hank was a corpse already. +So I slams the trap door shut over that there cistern +without looking in, fur I hearn Hank flopping around +down in there. I hadn't never hearn a corpse flop +before, and didn't know but what it might be some- +how injurious to me, and I wasn't going to take no +chances. + +So I went out and played in the front yard, and +waited fur Elmira. But I couldn't seem to get my +mind settled on playing I was a horse, nor nothing. +I kep' thinking mebby Hank's corpse is going to +come flopping out of that cistern and whale me +some unusual way. I hadn't never been licked by +a corpse, and didn't rightly know jest what one is, +anyhow, being young and comparitive innocent. +So I sneaks back in and sets all the flatirons in the +house on top of the cistern lid. I hearn some flop- +ping and splashing and spluttering, like Hank's +corpse is trying to jump up and is falling back into +the water, and I hearn Hank's voice, and got +scareder yet. And when Elmira come along down +the road, she seen me by the gate a-crying, and she +asts me why. + +"Hank is a corpse," says I, blubbering. + +"A corpse!" says Elmira, dropping her coffee +which she was carrying home from the gineral +store and post-office. "Danny, what do you +mean?" + +I seen I was to blame somehow, and I wisht then +I hadn't said nothing about Hank being a corpse. +And I made up my mind I wouldn't say nothing +more. So when she grabs holt of me and asts me +agin what did I mean I blubbered harder, jest the +way a kid will, and says nothing else. I wisht I +hadn't set them flatirons on that door, fur it come +to me all at oncet that even if Hank HAS turned +into a corpse I ain't got any right to keep him in +that cistern. + +Jest then Old Mis' Rogers, which is one of our +neighbours, comes by, while Elmira is shaking +me and yelling out what did I mean and how did +it happen and had I saw it and where was Hank's +corpse? + +And Mis' Rogers she says, "What's Danny been +doing now, Elmira?" me being always up to some- +thing. + +Elmira she turned around and seen her, and she +gives a whoop and then hollers out: "Hank is +dead!" and throws her apern over her head and +sets right down in the path and boo-hoos like a +baby. And I bellers louder. + +Mis' Rogers, she never waited to ast nothing +more. She seen she had a piece of news, and she's +bound to be the first to spread it, like they is always +a lot of women wants to be in them country towns. +She run right acrost the road to where the Alexan- +derses lived. Mis' Alexander, she seen her coming +and unhooked the screen door, and Mis' +Rogers she hollers out before she reached the +porch: + +"Hank Walters is dead." + +And then she went footing it up the street. +They was a black plume on her bunnet which nodded +the same as on a hearse, and she was into and out +of seven front yards in five minutes. + +Mis' Alexander, she runs acrost the street to +where we was, and she kneels down and puts her +arm around Elmira, which was still rocking back +and forth in the path, and she says: + +"How do you know he's dead, Elmira? I seen +him not more'n an hour ago." + +"Danny seen it all," says Elmira. + +Mis' Alexander turned to me, and wants to know +what happened and how it happened and where +it happened. But I don't want to say nothing +about that cistern. So I busts out bellering fresher'n +ever, and I says: + +"He was drunk, and he come home drunk, and +he done it then, and that's how he cone it," I says. + +"And you seen him?" she says. I nodded. + +"Where is he?" says she and Elmira, both to +oncet. + +But I was scared to say nothing about that there +cistern, so I jest bawled some more. + +"Was it in the blacksmith shop?" says Mis' +Alexander. I nodded my head agin and let it go +at that. + +"Is he in there now?" asts Mis' Alexander. I +nodded agin. I hadn't meant to give out no untrue +stories. But a kid will always tell a lie, not meaning +to tell one, if you sort of invite him with questions +like that, and get him scared the way you're acting. +Besides, I says to myself, "so long as Hank has +turned into a corpse and that makes him dead, +what's the difference whether he's in the black- +smith shop or not?" Fur I hadn't had any plain idea, +being such a little kid, that a corpse meant to be dead, +and wasn't sure what being dead was like, neither, +except they had funerals over you then. I knowed +being a corpse must be some sort of a big disad- +vantage from the way Elmira always says keep +away from that cistern door or I'll be one. But +if they was going to be a funeral in our house, I'd +feel kind o' important, too. They didn't have em +every day in our town, and we hadn't never had +one of our own. + +So Mis' Alexander, she led Elmira into the house, +both a-crying, and Mis' Alexander trying to comfort +her, and me a tagging along behind holding onto +Elmira's skirts and sniffling into them. And in a +few minutes all them women Mis' Rogers has told +come filing into that room, one at a time, looking +sad. Only Old Mis' Primrose, she was awful late +getting there because she stopped to put on her +bunnet she always wore to funerals with the black +Paris lace on it her cousin Arminty White had sent +her from Chicago. + +When they found out Hank had come home with +licker in him and done it himself, they was all +excited, and they all crowds around and asts me +how, except two as is holding onto Elmira's hands +which sets moaning in a chair. And they all asts +me questions as to what I seen him do, which if +they hadn't I wouldn't have told em the lies I did. +But they egged me on to it. + +Says one woman: "Danny, you seen him do it +in the blacksmith shop?" + +I nodded. + +"But how did he get in?" sings out another +woman. "The door was locked on the outside with +a padlock jest now when I come by. He couldn't +of killed himself in there and locked the door on +the outside." + +I didn't see how he could of done that myself, +so I begun to bawl agin and said nothing at all. + +"He must of crawled through that little side +window," says another one. "It was open when I +come by, if the door WAS locked. Did you see him +crawl through the little side window, Danny?" + +I nodded. They wasn't nothing else fur me to +do. + +"But YOU hain't tall enough to look through that +there window," says another one to me. "How +could you see into that shop, Danny?" + +I didn't know, so I didn't say nothing at all; I +jest sniffled. + +"They is a store box right in under that window," +says another one. "Danny must have clumb onto +that store box and looked in after he seen Hank +come down the road and crawl through the window. +Did you scramble onto the store box and look in, +Danny?" + +I jest nodded agin. + +"And what was it you seen him do? How did +he kill himself?" they all asts to oncet. + +_I_ didn't know. So I jest bellers and boo-hoos +some more. Things was getting past anything I +could see the way out of. + +"He might of hung himself to one of the iron +rings in the jists above the forge," says another +woman. "He clumb onto the forge to tie the rope +to one of them rings, and he tied the other end +around his neck, and then he stepped off'n the forge. +Was that how he done it, Danny?" + +I nodded. And then I bellered louder than ever. +I knowed Hank was down in that there cistern, a +corpse and a mighty wet corpse, all this time; but +they kind o' got me to thinking mebby he was hang- +ing out in the shop by the forge, too. And I guessed + +I'd better stick to the shop story, not wanting to +say nothing about that cistern no sooner'n I could +help it. + +Pretty soon one woman says, kind o' shivery: + +"I don't want to have the job of opening the door +of that blacksmith shop the first one!" + +And they all kind o' shivered then, and looked at +Elmira. They says to let some of the men open +it. And Mis' Alexander, she says she'll run home +and tell her husband right off. + +And all the time Elmira is moaning in that chair. +One woman says Elmira orter have a cup o' tea, +which she'll lay off her bunnet and go to the kitchen +and make it fur her. But Elmira says no, she can't +a-bear to think of tea, with poor Hennerey a-hang- +ing out there in the shop. But she was kind o' +enjoying all that fuss being made over her, too. +And all the other women says: + +"Poor thing!" But all the same they was mad +she said she didn't want any tea, for they all wanted +some and didn't feel free without she took it too. +Which she said she would after they'd coaxed a +while and made her see her duty. + +So they all goes out to the kitchen, bringing along +some of the best room chairs, Elmira coming too, +and me tagging along behind. And the first thing +they noticed was them flatirons on top of the cistern +door. Mis' Primrose, she says that looks funny. +But another woman speaks up and says Danny must +of been playing with them while Elmira was over +town. She says, "Was you playing they was +horses, Danny?" + +I was feeling considerable like a liar by this time, +but I says I was playing horses with them, fur I +couldn't see no use in hurrying things up. I was +bound to get a lamming purty soon anyhow. When +I was a kid I could always bet on that. So they +picks up the flatirons, and as they picks em up they +come a splashing noise in the cistern. I thinks to +myself, Hank's corpse'll be out of there in a minute. +One woman, she says: + +"Goodness gracious sakes alive! What's that, +Elmira?" + +Elmira says that cistern is mighty full of fish, +and they is some great big ones in there, and it must +be some of them a-flopping around. Which if +they hadn't of been all worked up and talking +all to oncet and all thinking of Hank's body hanging +out there in the blacksmith shop they might of +suspicioned something. For that flopping kep' up +steady, and a lot of splashing too. I mebby orter +mentioned sooner it had been a dry summer and +they was only three or four feet of water in our +cistern, and Hank wasn't in scarcely up to his big +hairy chest. So when Elmira says the cistern +is full of fish, that woman opens the trap door and +looks in. Hank thinks it's Elmira come to get him +out. He allows he'll keep quiet in there and make +believe he is drowned and give her a good scare +and make her sorry fur him. But when the cistern +door is opened, he hears a lot of clacking tongues +all of a sudden like they was a hen convention on. +He allows she has told some of the neighbours, +and he'll scare them too. So Hank, he laid low. +And the woman as looks in sees nothing, for it's +as dark down there as the insides of the whale +what swallered Noah. But she leaves the door +open and goes on a-making tea, and they ain't +skeercly a sound from that cistern, only little, +ripply noises like it might have been fish. + +Pretty soon a woman says: + +"It has drawed, Elmira; won't you have a cup?" +Elmira she kicked some more, but she took hern. +And each woman took hern. And one woman, +a-sipping of hern, she says: + +"The departed had his good pints, Elmira." + +Which was the best thing had been said of Hank +in that town fur years and years. + +Old Mis' Primrose, she always prided herself +on being honest, no matter what come, and she ups +and says: + +"I don't believe in no hippercritics at a time like +this, no more'n no other time. The departed +wasn't no good, and the hull town knowed it; and +Elmira orter feel like it's good riddance of bad +rubbish and them is my sentiments and the senti- +ments of rightfulness." + +All the other women sings out: + +"W'y, MIS' PRIMROSE! I never!" And they +seemed awful shocked. But down in underneath +more of em agreed than let on. Elmira she wiped +her eyes and she said: + +"Hennerey and me has had our troubles. They +ain't any use in denying that, Mis' Primrose. It +has often been give and take between us and betwixt +us. And the hull town knows he has lifted his hand +agin me more'n oncet. But I always stood up to +Hennerey, and I fit him back, free and fair and open. +I give him as good as he sent on this here earth, +and I ain't the one to carry no annermosities be- +yond the grave. I forgive Hank all the orneriness +he done me, and they was a lot of it, as is becoming +unto a church member, which he never was." + +And all the women but Mis' Primrose, they says: + +"Elmira Appleton, you HAVE got a Christian +sperrit!" Which done her a heap of good, and she +cried considerable harder, leaking out tears as fast +as she poured tea in. Each one on em tries to +find out something good to say about Hank, only +they wasn't much they could say. And Hank in +that there cistern a-listening to every word of it. + +Mis' Rogers, she says: + +"Afore he took to drinking like a fish, Hank +Walters was as likely looking a young feller as I +ever see." + +Mis' White, she says: + +"Well, Hank he never was a stingy man, nohow. +Often and often White has told me about seeing +Hank, after he'd sold a piece of land, treating the +hull town down in Nolan's bar-room jest as come- +easy, go-easy as if it wasn't money he orter paid +his honest debts with." + +They set there that-a-way telling of what good +pints they could think of fur ten minutes, and Hank +a-hearing it and getting madder and madder all the +time. The gineral opinion was that Hank wasn't +no good and was better done fur, and no matter +what they said them feelings kep' sticking out +through the words. + +By and by Tom Alexander come busting into the +house, and his wife, Mis' Alexander, was with him. + +"What's the matter with all you folks," he says. +"They ain't nobody hanging in that there black- +smith shop. I broke the door down and went in, +and it was empty." + +Then they was a pretty howdy-do, and they all +sings out: + +"Where's the corpse?" + +And some thinks mebby some one has cut it down +and took it away, and all gabbles to oncet. But +for a minute no one thinks mebby little Danny has +been egged on to tell lies. Little Danny ain't +saying a word. But Elmira she grabs me and shakes +me and she says: + +"You little liar, you, what do you mean by that +tale you told?" + +I thinks that lamming is about due now. But +whilst all eyes is turned on me and Elmira, they +comes a voice from that cistern. It is Hank's +voice, and he sings out: + +"Tom Alexander, is that you?" + +Some of the women scream, for some thinks it +is Hank's ghost. But one woman says what would +a ghost be doing in a cistern? + +Tom Alexander, he laughs and he says: + +"What in blazes you want to jump in there fur, +Hank?" + +"You dern ijut!" says Hank, "you quit mocking +me and get a ladder, and when I get out'n here I'll +learn you to ast what did I want to jump in here +fur!" + +"You never seen the day you could do it," says +Tom Alexander, meaning the day he could lick +him. "And if you feel that way about it you can +stay there fur all of me. I guess a little water +won't hurt you none." And he left the house. + +"Elmira," sings out Hank, mad and bossy, "you +go get me a ladder!" + +But Elmira, her temper riz up too, all of +a sudden. + +"Don't you dare order me around like I was the +dirt under your feet, Hennerey Walters," she says. + +At that Hank fairly roared, he was so mad. He +says: + +"Elmira, when I get out'n here I'll give you what +you won't fergit in a hurry. I hearn you a-forgiving +me and a-weeping over me, and I won't be forgive +nor weeped over by no one! You go and get that +ladder." + +But Elmira only answers: + +"You wasn't sober when you fell into there, +Hennerey Walters. And now you can jest stay in +there till you get a better temper on you!" And all +the women says: "That's right, Elmira; spunk +up to him!" + +They was considerable splashing around in the +water fur a couple of minutes. And then, all of a +sudden, a live fish come a-whirling out of that hole, +which he had ketched it with his hands. It was +a big bullhead, and its whiskers around its mouth +was stiffened into spikes, and it lands kerplump into +Mis' Rogers's lap, a-wiggling, and it kind o' horns +her on the hands, and she is that surprised she faints. +Mis' Primrose, she gets up and pushes that fish +back into the cistern with her foot from the floor +where it had fell, and she says right decided: + +"Elmira Walters, that was Elmira Appleton, +if you let Hank out'n that cistern before he has +signed the pledge and promised to jine the church +you're a bigger fool 'n I take you to be. A woman +has got to make a stand!" With that she marches +out'n our house. + +Then all the women sings out: + +"Send fur Brother Cartwright! Send fur Brother +Cartwright!" + +And they sent me scooting acrost town to get him +quick. Which he was the preacher of the Baptist +church and lived next to it. And I hadn't got no +lamming yet! + + + + + +CHAPTER II + + +I never stopped to tell but two, three folks +on the way to Brother Cartwright's, but +they must of spread it quick. 'Cause when +I got back home with him it seemed like the hull +town was there. It was along about dusk by this +time, and it was a prayer-meeting night at the +church. Mr. Cartwright told his wife to tell the +folks what come to the prayer-meeting he'd be +back before long, and to wait fur him. Which she +really told them where he had went, and what fur. +Mr. Cartwright marches right into the kitchen. +All the chairs in our house was into the kitchen, +and the women was a-talking and a-laughing, and +they had sent over to Alexanderses for their chairs +and to Rogerses for theirn. Every oncet in a while +they would be a awful bust of language come up +from that hole where that unreginerate old sinner +was cooped up in. + +I have travelled around considerable since them +days, and I have mixed up along of many kinds +of people in many different places, and some of 'em +was cussers to admire. But I never hearn such +cussing before or since as old Hank done that night. +He busted his own records and riz higher'n his own +water marks for previous times. I wasn't nothing +but a little kid then, and skeercly fitten fur to ad- +mire the full beauty of it. They was deep down +cusses, that come from the heart. Looking back +at it after all these years, I can believe what Brother +Cartwright said himself that night, that it wasn't +natcheral cussing and some higher power, like a +demon or a evil sperrit, must of entered into Hank's +human carkis and give that turrible eloquence to +his remarks. It busted out every few minutes, +and the women would put their fingers into their +ears till a spell was over. And it was personal, too. +Hank, he would listen until he hearn a woman's +voice that he knowed, and then he would let loose +on her fambly, going backwards to her grandfathers +and downwards to her children's children. If her +father had once stolen a hog, or her husband done +any disgrace that got found out on him, Hank would +put it all into his gineral remarks, with trimmings +onto it. + +Brother Cartwright, he steps up to the hole in +the floor when he first comes in and he says, gentle- +like and soothing, like a undertaker when he tells +you where to set at a home funeral: + +"Brother Walters." + +"Brother!" Hank yells out, "don't ye brother +me, you sniffling, psalm-singing, yaller-faced, +pigeon-toed hippercrit, you! Get me a ladder, +gol dern you, and I'll come out'n here and learn +you to brother me, I will." Only that wasn't +nothing to what Hank really said to that preacher; +no more like it than a little yaller, fluffy canary is +like a buzzard. + +"Brother Walters," says the preacher, ca'am but +firm, "we have all decided that you ain't going to +come out of that cistern till you sign the pledge." + +And Hank tells him what he thinks of pledges and +him and church doings, and it wasn't purty. And +he says if he was as deep in eternal fire as what he +now is in rain-water, and every fish that nibbles +at his toes was a preacher with a red-hot pitchfork +a-jabbing at him, they could jab till the hull here- +after turned into snow afore he'd ever sign nothing a +man like Mr. Cartwright give him to sign. Hank +was stubborner than any mule he ever nailed shoes +onto, and proud of being that stubborn. That +town was a awful religious town, and Hank he +knowed he was called the most onreligious man in it, +and he was proud of that too; and if any one called +him a heathen it jest plumb tickled him all over. + +"Brother Walters," says that preacher, "we are +going to pray for you." + +And they done it. They brought all them chairs +close up around that cistern, in a ring, and they +all kneeled down there, with their heads on 'em, +and they prayed fur Hank's salvation. They done +it up in style, too, one at a time, and the others +singing out, "Amen!" every now and then, and they +shed tears down onto Hank. The front yard was +crowded with men, all a-laughing and a-talking +and chawing and spitting tobacco and betting how +long Hank would hold out. Old Si Emery, that +was the city marshal, and always wore a big nickel- +plated star, was out there with 'em. Si was in a +sweat, 'cause Bill Nolan, that run the bar-room, +and some more of Hank's friends, or as near friends +as he had, was out in the road. They says to Si +he must arrest that preacher, fur Hank is being +gradual murdered in that there water, and he'll +die if he's helt there too long, and it will be a crime. +Only they didn't come into the yard to say it +amongst us religious folks. But Si, he says he +dassent arrest no one because it is outside the town +copperation; but he's considerable worried too +about what his duty orter be. + +Pretty soon the gang that Mrs. Cartwright has +rounded up at the prayer-meeting comes stringing +along in. They had all brung their hymn books +with them, and they sung. The hull town was +there then, and they all sung, and they sung re- +vival hymns over Hank. And Hank he would jest +cuss and cuss. Every time he busted out into +another cussing spell they would start another +hymn. Finally the men out in the front yard got +warmed up too, and begun to sing, all but Bill +Nolan's crowd, and they give Hank up for lost and +went away disgusted. + +The first thing you knowed they was a reg'lar +revival meeting there, and that preacher was +preaching a reg'lar revival sermon. I been to +more'n one camp meeting, but fur jest natcherally +taking holt of the hull human race by the slack +of its pants and dangling of it over hell-fire, I never +hearn nothing could come up to that there sermon. +Two or three old backsliders in the crowd come right +up and repented all over agin on the spot. The +hull kit and biling of 'em got the power good and +hard, like they does at camp meetings and revivals. +But Hank, he only cussed. He was obstinate, +Hank was, and his pride and dander had riz up. +Finally he says: + +"You're taking a ornery, low-down advantage +o' me, you are. Let me out'n this here cistern and +I'll show you who'll stick it out longest on dry +land, dern your religious hides!" + +Some of the folks there hadn't had no suppers, +so after all the other sinners but Hank had either +got converted or else sneaked away, some of the +women says why not make a kind of love feast out +of it, and bring some vittles, like they does to +church sociables. Because it seems likely Satan +is going to wrastle all night long, like he done with +the angel Jacob, and they ought to be prepared. +So they done it. They went and they come back +with vittles and they made up hot coffee and they +feasted that preacher and theirselves and Elmira +and me, all right in Hank's hearing. + +And Hank was getting hungry himself. And he +was cold in that water. And the fish was nibbling +at him. And he was getting cussed out and weak +and soaked full of despair. And they wasn't no +way fur him to set down and rest. And he was +scared of getting a cramp in his legs, and sinking +down with his head under water and being drownded. +He said afterward he'd of done the last with pleasure +if they was any way of suing that crowd fur murder. +So along about ten o'clock he sings out: + +"I give in, gosh dern ye! I give in. Let me +out and I'll sign your pesky pledge!" + +Brother Cartwright was fur getting a ladder and +letting him climb out right away. But Elmira, she +says: + +"Don't you do it, Brother Cartwright; don't +you do it. You don't know Hank Walters like I +does. If he oncet gets out o' there before he's +signed that pledge, he won't never sign it." + +So they fixed it up that Brother Cartwright was +to write out a pledge on the inside leaf of the Bible, +and tie the Bible onto a string, and a lead pencil +onto another string, and let the strings down to +Hank, and he was to make his mark, fur he couldn't +write, and they was to be pulled up agin. Hank, +he says all right, and they done it. But jest as +Hank was making his mark on the leaf of the book, +that preacher done what I has always thought was +a mean trick. He was lying on the floor with his +head and shoulders into that hole as fur as he could, +holding a lantern way down into it, so as Hank could +see. And jest as Hank made that mark he spoke +some words over him, and then he says: + +"Now, Henry Walters, I have baptized you, and +you are a member of the church." + +You'd a thought Hank would of broke out cussing +agin at being took unexpected that-a-way, fur he +hadn't really agreed to nothing but signing the +pledge. But nary a cuss. He jest says: "Now, +you get that ladder." + +They got it, and he clumb up into the kitchen, +dripping and shivering. + +"You went and baptized me in that water?" +he asts the preacher. The preacher says he has. + +"Then," says Hank, "you done a low-down trick +on me. You knowed I has made my brags I never +jined no church nor never would jine. You knowed +I was proud of that. You knowed that it was my +glory to tell of it, and that I set a heap of store by +it in every way. And now you've went and took +it away from me! You never fought it out fair +and square, neither, man playing to outlast man, +like you done with this here pledge, but you sneaked +it in on me when I wasn't looking." + +They was a lot of men in that crowd that thought +the preacher had went too far, and sympathized +with Hank. The way he done about that hurt +Brother Cartwright in our town, and they was a +split in the church, because some said it wasn't +reg'lar and wasn't binding. He lost his job after +a while and become an evangelist. Which it don't +make no difference what one of them does, nohow. + +But Hank, he always thought he had been bap- +tized reg'lar. And he never was the same after- +ward. He had made his life-long brags, and his +pride was broke in that there one pertic'ler spot. +And he sorrered and grieved over it a good 'eal, +and got grouchier and grouchier and meaner and +meaner, and lickered oftener, if anything. Signing +the pledge couldn't hold Hank. He was worse in +every way after that night in the cistern, and took +to lamming me harder and harder. + + + + + +CHAPTER III + + +Well, all the lammings Hank laid on never +done me any good. It seemed like I was +jest natcherally cut out to have no success +in life, and no amount of whaling could change +it, though Hank, he was faithful. Before I was +twelve years old the hull town had seen it, and they +wasn't nothing else expected of me except not to +be any good. + +That had its handy sides to it, too. They was +lots of kids there that had to go to school, but Hank, +he never would of let me done that if I had ast +him, and I never asted. And they was lots of +kids considerably bothered all the time with their +parents and relations. They made 'em go to +Sunday School, and wash up reg'lar all over on +Saturday nights, and put on shoes and stockings +part of the time, even in the summer, and some of +'em had to ast to go in swimming, and the hull thing +was a continuous trouble and privation to 'em. +But they wasn't nothing perdicted of me, and I +done like it was perdicted. Everybody 'lowed +from the start that Hank would of made trash +out'n me, even if I hadn't showed all the signs of +being trash anyhow. And if they was devilment +anywhere about that town they all says, "Danny, +he done it." And like as not I has. So I gets to +be what you might call an outcast. All the kids +whose folks ain't trash, their mothers tells 'em not +to run with me no more. Which they done it all +the more fur that reason, on the sly, and it makes +me more important with them. + +But when I gets a little bigger, all that makes me +feel kind o' bad sometimes. It ain't so handy +then. Fur folks gets to saying, when I would come +around: + +"Danny, what do YOU want?" + +And if I says, "Nothing," they would say: + +"Well, then, you get out o' here!" + +Which they needn't of been suspicioning nothing +like they pertended they did, fur I never stole +nothing more'n worter millions and mush millions +and such truck, and mebby now and then a chicken +us kids use to roast in the woods on Sundays, and +jest as like as not it was one of Hank's hens then, +which I figgered I'd earnt it. + +Fur Hank, he had streaks when he'd work me +considerable hard. He never give me any money +fur it. He loafed a lot too, and when he'd loaf +I'd loaf. But I did pick up right smart of handiness +with tools around that there shop of his'n, and if +he'd ever of used me right I might of turned into a +purty fair blacksmith. But it wasn't no use trying +to work fur Hank. When I was about fifteen, +times is right bad around the house fur a spell, +and Elmira is working purty hard, and I thinks to +myself: + +"Well, these folks has kind o' brung you up, and +you ain't never done more'n Hank made you +do. Mebby you orter stick to work a little more +when they's a job in the shop, even if Hank +don't." + +Which I tried it fur about two or three years, +doing as much work around the shop as Hank done +and mebby more. But it wasn't no use. One +day when I'm about eighteen, I seen awful plain +I'll have to light out from there. They was a +circus come to town that day. I says to Hank: + +"Hank, they is a circus this afternoon and agin +to-night." + +"So I has hearn," says Hank. + +"Are you going to it?" says I. + +"I mout," says Hank, "and then agin I moutn't. +I don't see as it's no consarns of yourn, nohow." +I knowed he was going, though. Hank, he never +missed a circus. + +"Well," I says, "they wasn't no harm to ast, +was they?" + +"Well, you've asted, ain't you?" says Hank. + +"Well, then," says I, "I'd like to go to that there +circus myself." + +"They ain't no use in me saying fur you not to +go," says Hank, "fur you would go anyhow. You +always does go off when you is needed." + +"But I ain't got no money," I says, "and I was +going to ast you could you spare me half a dollar?" + +"Great Jehosephat!" says Hank, "but ain't +you getting stuck up! What's the matter of you +crawling in under the tent like you always done? +First thing I know you'll be wanting a pair of these +here yaller shoes and a stove-pipe hat." + +"No," says I, "I ain't no dude, Hank, and you +know it. But they is always things about a circus +to spend money on besides jest the circus herself. +They is the side show, fur instance, and they is the +grand concert afterward. I calkelated I'd take +'em all in this year--the hull dern thing, jest fur +oncet." + +Hank, he looks at me like I'd asted fur a house 'n' +lot, or a million dollars, or something like that. But +he don't say nothing. He jest snorts. + +"Hank," I says, "I been doing right smart work +around the shop fur two, three years now. If +you wasn't loafing so much you'd a noticed it more. +And I ain't never ast fur a cent of pay fur it, +nor--" + +"You ain't wuth no pay," says Hank. "You +ain't wuth nothing but to eat vittles and wear out +clothes." + +"Well," I says, "I figger I earn my vittles and a +good 'eal more. And as fur as clothes goes, I never +had none but what Elmira made out'n yourn." + +"Who brung you up?" asts Hank. + +"You done it," says I, "and by your own say-so +you done a dern poor job at it." + +"You go to that there circus," says Hank, a-flaring +up, "and I'll lambaste you up to a inch of your life. +So fur as handing out money fur you to sling it to +the dogs, I ain't no bank, and if I was I ain't no +ijut. But you jest let me hear of you even going +nigh that circus lot and all the lammings you has +ever got, rolled into one, won't be a measly little +sarcumstance to what you WILL get. They ain't +no leather-faced young upstart with weepin'-willow +hail going to throw up to me how I brung him up. +That's gratitood fur you, that is!" says Hank. "If +it hadn't of been fur me giving you a home when I +found you first, where would you of been now?" + +"Well," I says, "I might of been a good 'eal +better off. If you hadn't of took me in the Alexan- +derses would of, and then I wouldn't of been kep' out +of school and growed up a ignoramus like you is." + +"I never had no trouble keeping you away from +school, I notice," says Hank, with a snort. "This +is the first I ever hearn of you wanting to go there." + +Which was true in one way, and a lie in another. +I hadn't never wanted to go till lately, but he'd +of lammed me if I had of wanted to. He always +said he would. And now I was too big and +knowed it. + +Well, Hank, he never give me no money, so I +watches my chancet that afternoon and slips in +under the tent the same as always. And I lays +low under them green benches and wiggled through +when I seen a good chancet. The first person I +seen was Hank. Of course he seen me, and he +shook his fist at me in a promising kind of way, +and they wasn't no trouble figgering out what he +meant. Fur a while I didn't enjoy that circus to +no extent. Fur I was thinking that if Hank tries +to lick me fur it I'll fight him back this time, which +I hadn't never fit him back much yet fur fear +he'd pick up something iron around the shop and +jest natcherally lay me cold with it. + +I got home before Hank did. It was nigh sun- +down, and I was waiting in the door of the shop fur +Elmira to holler vittles is ready, and Hank come +along. He didn't waste no time. He steps inside +the shop and he takes down a strap and he +says: + +"You come here and take off your shirt." + +But I jest moves away. Hank, he runs in on me, +and he swings his strap. I throwed up my arm, +and it cut me acrost the knuckles. I run in on him, +and he dropped the strap and fetched me an open- +handed smack plumb on the mouth that jarred my +head back and like to of busted it loose. Then I +got right mad, and I run in on him agin, and this +time I got to him, and wrastled with him. + +Well, sir, I never was so surprised in all my life +before. Fur I hadn't had holt on him more'n +a minute before I seen I'm stronger than Hank is. +I throwed him, and he hit the ground with con- +siderable of a jar, and then I put my knee in the +pit of his stomach and churned it a couple. And +I thinks to myself what a fool I must of been fur +better'n a year, because I might of done this any +time. I got him by the ears and I slammed his +head into the gravel a few times, him a-reaching +fur my throat, and a-pounding me with his fists, +but me a-taking the licks and keeping holt. And +I had a mighty contented time fur a few minutes +there on top of Hank, chuckling to myself, and +batting him one every now and then fur luck, and +trying to make him holler it's enough. But Hank +is stubborn and he won't holler. And purty soon +I thinks, what am I going to do? Fur Hank will +be so mad when I let him up he'll jest natcherally +kill me, without I kill him. And I was scared, +because I don't want neither one of them things to +happen. Whilst I was thinking it over, and getting +scareder and scareder, and banging Hank's head +harder and harder, some one grabs me from behind. + +They was two of them, and one gets my collar +and one gets the seat of my pants, and they drug +me off'n him. Hank, he gets up, and then he sets +down sudden on a horse block and wipes his face +on his sleeve, which they was considerable blood +come onto the sleeve. + +I looks around to see who has had holt of me, and +it is two men. One of them looks about seven feet +tall, on account of a big plug hat and a long white +linen duster, and has a beautiful red beard. In the +road they is a big stout road wagon, with a canopy +top over it, pulled by two hosses, and on the wagon +box they is a strip of canvas. Which I couldn't +read then what was wrote on the canvas, but I +learnt later it said, in big print: + +SIWASH INDIAN SAGRAW. +NATURE'S UNIVERSAL MEDICINAL SPECIFIC. +DISCOVERED BY DR. HARTLEY L. KIRBY +AMONG THE ABORIGINES OF OREGON. + + +On account of being so busy, neither Hank nor +me had hearn the wagon come along the road and +stop. The big man in the plug hat, he says, or +they was words to that effect, jest as serious: + +"Why are you mauling the aged gent?" + +"Well," says I, "he needed it considerable." + +"But," says he, still more solemn, "the good book +says to honour thy father and thy mother." + +"Well," I says, "mebby it does and mebby it +don't. But HE ain't my father, nohow. And he +ain't been getting no more'n his come-uppings." + +"Vengeance is mine, saith the Lord," the big +man remarks, very serious. Hank, he riz up then, +and he says: + +"Mister, be you a preacher? 'Cause if you be, +the sooner you have druv on, the better fur ye. +I got a grudge agin all preachers." + +That feller, he jest looks Hank over ca'am and +easy and slow before he answers, and he wrinkles +up his face like he never seen anything like Hank +before. Then he fetches a kind o' aggervating smile, +and he says: + + +"Beneath a shady chestnut tree + The village blacksmith stands. +The smith, a pleasant soul is he + With warts upon his hands--" + + + +He stares at Hank hard and solemn and serious +while he is saying that poetry at him. Hank +fidgets and turns his eyes away. But the feller +touches him on the breast with his finger, and makes +him look at him. + +"My honest friend," says the feller, "I am NOT +a preacher. Not right now, anyhow. No! My +mission is spreading the glad tidings of good health. +Look at me," and he swells his chest up, and keeps +a-holt of Hank's eyes with his'n. "You behold +before you the discoverer, manufacturer, and +proprietor of Siwash Indian Sagraw, nature's own +remedy for Bright's Disease, rheumatism, liver and +kidney trouble, catarrh, consumption, bronchitis, +ring-worm, erysipelas, lung fever, typhoid, croup, +dandruff, stomach trouble, dyspepsia--" And +they was a lot more of 'em. + +"Well," says Hank, sort o' backing up as the big +man come nearer and nearer to him, jest natcherally +bully-ragging him with them eyes, "I got none of +them there complaints." + +The doctor he kind o' snarls, and he brings his +hand down hard on Hank's shoulder, and he +says: + +"There are more things betwixt Dan and Beer- +sheba than was ever dreamt of in thy sagacity, +Romeo!" Or they was words to that effect, fur +that doctor was jest plumb full of Scripter quota- +tions. And he sings out sudden, giving Hank a +shove that nearly pushes him over: "Man alive!" +he yells, "you DON'T KNOW what disease you may have! +Many's the strong man I've seen rejoicing in his +strength at the dawn of day cut down like the grass +in the field before sunset," he says. + +Hank, he's trying to look the other way, but that +doctor won't let his eyes wiggle away from his'n. +He says very sharp: + +"Stick out your tongue!" + +Hank, he sticks her out. + +The doctor, he takes some glasses out'n his pocket +and puts 'em on, and he fetches a long look at her. +Then he opens his mouth like he was going to say +something, and shuts it agin like his feelings won't +let him. He puts his arm across Hank's shoulder +affectionate and sad, and then he turns his head +away like they was some one dead in the fambly. +Finally, he says: + +"I thought so. I saw it. I saw it in your eyes +when I first drove up. I hope," he says, very +mournful, "I haven't come too late!" + +Hank, he turns pale. I was getting sorry fur +Hank myself. I seen now why I licked him so +easy. Any one could of told from that doctor's +actions Hank was as good as a dead man already. +But Hank, he makes a big effort, and he +says: + +"Shucks! I'm sixty-eight years old, doctor, and +I hain't never had a sick day in my life." But +he was awful uneasy too. + +The doctor, he says to the feller with him: +"Looey, bring me one of the sample size." + +Looey brung it, the doctor never taking his eyes +off'n Hank. He handed it to Hank, and he says: + +"A whiskey glass full three times a day, my +friend, and there is a good chance for even you. +I give it to you, without money and without price." + +"But what have I got?" asts Hank. + +"You have spinal meningitis," says the doctor, +never batting an eye. + +"Will this here cure me?" says Hank. + +"It'll cure ANYTHING," says the doctor. + +Hank he says, "Shucks," agin, but he took the +bottle and pulled the cork out and smelt it, right +thoughtful. And what them fellers had stopped +at our place fur was to have the shoe of the nigh +hoss's off hind foot nailed on, which it was most +ready to drop off. Hank, he done it fur a regula- +tion, dollar-size bottle and they druv on into the +village. + +Right after supper I goes down town. They +was in front of Smith's Palace Hotel. They was +jest starting up when I got there. Well, sir, that +doctor was a sight. He didn't have his duster +onto him, but his stove-pipe hat was, and one of +them long Prince Alferd coats nearly to his knees, +and shiny shoes, but his vest was cut out holler fur +to show his biled shirt, and it was the pinkest shirt +I ever see, and in the middle of that they was a dia- +mond as big as Uncle Pat Hickey's wen, what was +one of the town sights. No, sir; they never was a +man with more genuine fashionableness sticking +out all over him than Doctor Kirby. He jest +fairly wallered in it. + +I hadn't paid no pertic'ler attention to the other +feller with him when they stopped at our place, +excepting to notice he was kind of slim and black- +haired and funny complected. But I seen now I +orter of looked closeter. Fur I'll be dad-binged +if he weren't an Injun! There he set, under that +there gasoline lamp the wagon was all lit up with, +with moccasins on, and beads and shells all over +him, and the gaudiest turkey tail of feathers rain- +bowing down from his head you ever see, and a +blanket around him that was gaudier than the +feathers. And he shined and rattled every time +he moved. + +That wagon was a hull opry house to itself. It +was rolled out in front of Smith's Palace Hotel +without the hosses. The front part was filled with +bottles of medicine. The doctor, he begun business +by taking out a long brass horn and tooting on it. +They was about a dozen come, but they was mostly +boys. Then him and the Injun picked up some +banjoes and sung a comic song out loud and clear. +And they was another dozen or so come. And +they sung another song, and Pop Wilkins, he closed +up the post-office and come over and the other +two veterans of the Grand Army of the Republicans +that always plays checkers in there nights come +along with him. But it wasn't much of a crowd, +and the doctor he looked sort o' worried. I had +a good place, right near the hind wheel of the wagon +where he rested his foot occasional, and I seen what +he was thinking. So I says to him: + +"Doctor Kirby, I guess the crowd is all gone to +the circus agin to-night." And all them fellers +there seen I knowed him. + +"I guess so, Rube," he says to me. And they +all laughed 'cause he called me Rube, and I felt +kind of took down. + +Then he lit in to tell about that Injun medicine. +First off he told how he come to find out about +it. It was the father of the Injun what was with +him had showed him, he said. And it was in the +days of his youthfulness, when he was wild, and a +cowboy on the plains of Oregon. Well, one night +he says, they was an awful fight on the plains of +Oregon, wherever them is, and he got plugged full +of bullet holes. And his hoss run away with him +and he was carried off, and the hoss was going at a +dead run, and the blood was running down onto +the ground. And the wolves smelt the blood and +took out after him, yipping and yowling something +frightful to hear, and the hoss he kicked out be- +hind and killed the head wolf and the others stopped +to eat him up, and while they was eating him the +hoss gained a quarter of a mile. But they et him +up and they was gaining agin, fur the smell of human +blood was on the plains of Oregon, he says, and the +sight of his mother's face when she ast him never +to be a cowboy come to him in the moonlight, +and he knowed that somehow all would yet be well, +and then he must of fainted and he knowed no more +till he woke up in a tent on the plains of Oregon. +And they was an old Injun bending over him and +a beautiful Injun maiden was feeling of his pulse, +and they says to him: + +"Pale face, take hope, fur we will doctor you with +Siwash Injun Sagraw, which is nature's own cure +fur all diseases." + +They done it. And he got well. It had been a +secret among them there Injuns fur thousands and +thousands of years. Any Injun that give away the +secret was killed and rubbed off the rolls of the +tribe and buried in disgrace upon the plains of +Oregon. And the doctor was made a blood brother +of the chief, and learnt the secret of that medicine. +Finally he got the chief to see as it wasn't Christian +to hold back that there medicine from the world +no longer, and the chief, his heart was softened, +and he says to go. + +"Go, my brother," he says, "and give to the pale +faces the medicine that has been kept secret fur +thousands and thousands of years among the Siwash +Injuns on the plains of Oregon." + +And he went. It wasn't that he wanted to make +no money out of that there medicine. He could +of made all the money he wanted being a doctor +in the reg'lar way. But what he wanted was to +spread the glad tidings of good health all over this +fair land of ourn, he says. + +Well, sir, he was a talker, that there doctor was, +and he knowed more religious sayings and poetry +along with it, than any feller I ever hearn. He +goes on and he tells how awful sick people can +manage to get and never know it, and no one else +never suspicion it, and live along fur years and years +that-a-way, and all the time in danger of death. +He says it makes him weep when he sees them poor +diluted fools going around and thinking they is +well men, talking and laughing and marrying and +giving in to marriage right on the edge of the grave. +He sees dozens of 'em in every town he comes to. +But they can't fool him, he says. He can tell at a +glance who's got Bright's Disease in their kidneys +and who ain't. His own father, he says, was deathly +sick fur years and years and never knowed it, and +the knowledge come on him sudden like, and he +died. That was before Siwash Injun Sagraw was +ever found out about. Doctor Kirby broke down +and cried right there in the wagon when he thought +of how his father might of been saved if he was +only alive now that that medicine was put up into +bottle form, six fur a five-dollar bill so long as he was +in town, and after that two dollars fur each bottle +at the drug store. + +He unrolled a big chart and the Injun helt it +by that there gasoline lamp, so all could see, turning +the pages now and then. It was a map of a man's +inside organs and digestive ornaments and things. +They was red and blue, like each organ's own +disease had turned it, and some of 'em was yaller. +And they was a long string of diseases printed in +black hanging down from each organ's picture. I +never knowed before they was so many diseases +nor yet so many things to have 'em in. + +Well, I was feeling purty good when that show +started. But the doc, he kep' looking right at me +every now and then when he talked, and I couldn't +keep my eyes off'n him. + +"Does your heart beat fast when you exercise?" +he asts the crowd. "Is your tongue coated after +meals? Do your eyes leak when your nose is stopped +up? Do you perspire under your arm pits? Do you +ever have a ringing in your ears? Does your +stomach hurt you after meals? Does your back +ever ache? Do you ever have pains in your legs? +Do your eyes blur when you look at the sun? Are +your teeth coated? Does your hair come out when +you comb it? Is your breath short when you walk +up stairs? Do your feet swell in warm weather? +Are there white spots on your finger nails? Do +you draw your breath part of the time through one +nostril and part of the time through the other? +Do you ever have nightmare? Did your nose +bleed easily when you were growing up? Does +your skin fester when scratched? Are your eyes +gummy in the mornings? Then," he says, "if +you have any or all of these symptoms, your blood +is bad, and your liver is wasting away." + +Well, sir, I seen I was in a bad way, fur at one +time or another I had had most of them there signs +and warnings, and hadn't heeded 'em, and I had +some of 'em yet. I begun to feel kind o' sick, and +looking at them organs and diseases didn't help +me none, either. The doctor, he lit out on another +string of symptoms, and I had them, too. Seems +to me I had purty nigh everything but fits. Kidney +complaint and consumption both had a holt on me. +It was about a even bet which would get me first. +I kind o' got to wondering which. I figgered from +what he said that I'd had consumption the LONGEST +while, but my kind of kidney trouble was an awful +SLY kind, and it was lible to jump in without no +warning a-tall and jest natcherally wipe me out +QUICK. So I sort o' bet on the kidney trouble. +But I seen I was a goner, and I forgive Hank all +his orneriness, fur a feller don't want to die holding +grudges. + +Taking it the hull way through, that was about +the best medicine show I ever seen. But they +didn't sell much. All the people what had any +money was to the circus agin that night. So they +sung some more songs and closed early and went into +the hotel. + + + + +CHAPTER IV + + +Well, the next morning I'm feeling con- +siderable better, and think mebby I'm go- +ing to live after all. I got up earlier'n +Hank did, and slipped out without him seeing me, and +didn't go nigh the shop a-tall. Fur now I've licked +Hank oncet I figger he won't rest till he has wiped +that disgrace out, and he won't care a dern what +he picks up to do it with, nuther. + +They was a crick about a hundred yards from our +house, in the woods, and I went over there and laid +down and watched it run by. I laid awful still, +thinking I wisht I was away from that town. Purty +soon a squirrel comes down and sets on a log and +watches me. I throwed an acorn at him, and he +scooted up a tree quicker'n scatt. And then I +wisht I hadn't scared him away, fur it looked like +he knowed I was in trouble. Purty soon I takes a +swim, and comes out and lays there some more, +spitting into the water and thinking what shall +I do now, and watching birds and things mov- +ing around, and ants working harder'n ever I +would agin unless I got better pray fur it, and these +here tumble bugs kicking their loads along hind +end to. + +After a while it is getting along toward noon, and +I'm feeling hungry. But I don't want to have no +more trouble with Hank, and I jest lays there. I +hearn two men coming through the underbrush. +I riz up on my elbow to look, and one of them was +Doctor Kirby and the other was Looey, only Looey +wasn't an Injun this morning. + +They sets down on the roots of a big tree a little +ways off, with their backs toward me, and they +ain't seen me. So nacherally I listened to what +they was jawing about. They was both kind o' +mad at the hull world, and at our town in pertic'ler, +and some at each other, too. The doctor, he says: + +"I haven't had such rotten luck since I played +the bloodhound in a Tom Show--Were you ever +an 'Uncle Tom's Cabin' artist, Looey?--and a +justice of the peace over in Iowa fined me five +dollars for being on the street without a muzzle. +Said it was a city ordinance. Talk about the +gentle Rube being an easy mark! If these country +towns don't get the wandering minstrel's money +one way they will another!" + +"It's your own fault," says Looey, kind o' sour. + +"I can't see it," says Doctor Kirby. "How did +I know that all these apple-knockers had been filled +up with Sykes's Magic Remedy only two weeks +ago? I may have been a spiritualistic medium in +my time now and then," he says, "and a mind +reader, too, but I'm no prophet." + +"I ain't talking about the business, Doc, and you +know it," says Looey. "We'd be all right and have +our horses and wagon now if you'd only stuck to +business and not got us into that poker game. +Talk about suckers! Doc, for a man that has +skinned as many of 'em as you have, you're the +worst sucker yourself I ever saw." + +The doctor, he cusses the poker game and country +towns and medicine shows and the hull creation +and says he is so disgusted with life he guesses he'll +go and be a preacher or a bearded lady in a side- +show. But Looey, he don't cheer up none. He says: + +"All right, Doc, but it's no use talking. You +can TALK all right. We all know that. The ques- +tion is how are we going to get our horses and wagon +away from these Rubes?" + +I listens some more, and I seen them fellers was +really into bad trouble. Doctor Kirby, he had got +into a poker game at Smith's Palace Hotel the night +before, right after the show. He had won from +Jake Smith, which run it, and from the others. +But shucks! it never made no difference what you +won in that crowd. They had done Doctor Kirby +and Looey like they always done a drummer or a +stranger that come along to that town and was +fool enough to play poker with them. They wasn't +a chancet fur an outsider. If the drummer lost, +they would take his money and that would be all +they was to it. But if the drummer got to winning +good, some one would slip out'n the hotel and tell +Si Emery, which was the city marshal. And Si +would get Ralph Scott, that worked fur Jake Smith +in his livery stable, and pin a star onto Ralph, too. +And they would be arrested fur gambling, only them +that lived in our town would get away. Which Si +and Ralph was always scared every time they done +it. Then the drummer, or whoever it was, would +be took to the calaboose, and spend all night +there. + +In the morning they would be took before Squire +Matthews, that was justice of the peace. They +would be fined a big fine, and he would get all the +drummer had won and all he had brung to town with +him besides. Squire Matthews and Jake Smith +and Windy Goodell and Mart Watson, which the +two last was lawyers, was always playing that there +game on drummers that was fool enough to play +poker. Hank, he says he bet they divided it up +afterward, though it was supposed them fines went +to the town. Well, they played a purty closte +game of poker in our little town. It was jest like +the doctor says to Looey: + +"By George," he says, "it is a well-nigh perfect +thing. If you lose you lose, and if you win you +lose." + +Well, the doctor, he had started out winning the +night before. And Si Emery and Ralph Scott had +arrested them. And that morning, while I had +been laying by the crick and the rest of the town was +seeing the fun, they had been took afore Squire +Matthews and fined one hundred and twenty-five +dollars apiece. The doctor, he tells Squire Mat- +thews it is an outrage, and it ain't legal if tried +in a bigger court, and they ain't that much money +in the world so fur as he knows, and he won't pay +it. But, the squire, he says the time has come to +teach them travelling fakirs as is always running +around the country with shows and electric belts +and things that they got to stop dreening that +town of hard-earned money, and he has decided +to make an example of 'em. The only two +lawyers in town is Windy and Mart, which has +been in the poker game theirselves, the same as +always. The doctor says the hull thing is a put-up +job, and he can't get the money, and he wouldn't +if he could, and he'll lay in that town calaboose and +rot the rest of his life and eat the town poor before +he'll stand it. And the squire says he'll jest take +their hosses and wagon fur c'latteral till they make +up the rest of the two hundred and fifty dollars. +And the hosses and wagon was now in the livery +stable next to Smith's Palace Hotel, which Jake run +that too. + +Well, I thinks to myself, it IS a dern shame, and +I felt sorry fur them two fellers. Fur our town was +jest as good as stealing that property. And I +felt kind o' shamed of belonging to such a town, too. +And I thinks to myself, I'd like to help 'em out of +that scrape. And then I seen how I could do it, +and not get took up fur it, neither. So, without +thinking, all of a sudden I jumps up and says: + +"Say, Doctor Kirby, I got a scheme!" + +They jumps up too, and they looks at me startled. +Then the doctor kind o' laughs and says: + +"Why, it's the young blacksmith!" + +Looey, he says, looking at me hard and suspicious: + +"What kind of a scheme are you talking about?" + +"Why," says I, "to get that outfit of yourn." + +"You've been listening to us," says Looey. +Looey was one of them quiet-looking fellers that +never laughed much nor talked much. Looey, +he never made fun of nobody, which the doctor was +always doing, and I wouldn't of cared to make fun +of Looey much, either. + +"Yes," I says, "I been laying here fur quite a +spell, and quite natcheral I listened to you, as any +one else would of done. And mebby I can get that +team and wagon of yourn without it costing you +a cent." + +Well, they didn't know what to say. They asts +me how, but I says to leave it all to me. "Walk +right along down this here crick," I says, "till you +get to where it comes out'n the woods and runs +acrost the road in under an iron bridge. That's +about a half a mile east. Jest after the road crosses +the bridge it forks. Take the right fork and walk +another half a mile and you'll see a little yaller- +painted schoolhouse setting lonesome on a sand +hill. They ain't no school in it now. You wait +there fur me," I says, "fur a couple of hours. After +that if I ain't there you'll know I can't make it. +But I think I'll make it." + +They looks at each other and they looks at me, +and then they go off a little piece and talk low, and +then the doctor says to me: + +"Rube," he says, "I don't know how you can +work anything on us that hasn't been worked +already. We've got nothing more we can lose. +You go to it, Rube." And they started off. + +So I went over town. Jake Smith was setting +on the piazza in front of his hotel, chawing and +spitting tobacco, with his feet agin the railing like +he always done, and one of his eyes squinched up +and his hat over the other one. + +"Jake," I says, "where's that there doctor?" + +Jake, he spit careful afore he answered, and he +pulled his long, scraggly moustache careful, and he +squinched his eyes at me. Jake was a careful man +in everything he done. + +"I dunno, Danny," he says. "Why?" + +"Well," I says, "Hank sent me over to get that +wagon and them hosses of theirn and finish that +job." + +"That there wagon," says Jake, "is in my barn, +with Si Emery watching her, and she has got to +stay there till the law lets her loose." I figgered +to myself Jake could use that team and wagon in +his business, and was going to buy her cheap offn +the town, what share of her he didn't figger he owned +already. + +"Why, Jake," I says, "I hope they ain't been no +trouble of no kind that has drug the law into your +barn!" + +"Well, Danny," he says, "they HAS been a little +trouble. But it's about over, now, I guess. And +that there outfit belongs to the town now." + +"You don't say so!" says I, surprised-like. +"When I seen them men last night it looked to me +like they was too fine dressed to be honest." + +"I don't think they be, Danny," says Jake, +confidential. "In my opinion they is mighty bad +customers. But they has got on the wrong side +of the law now, and I guess they won't stay around +here much longer." + +"Well," says I, "Hank will be glad." + +"Fur what?" asts Jake. + +"Well," says I, "because he got his pay in advance +fur that job and now he don't have to finish it. +They come along to our place about sundown +yesterday, and we nailed a shoe on one hoss. They +was a couple of other hoofs needed fixing, and the +tire on one of the hind wheels was beginning to +rattle loose." + +I had noticed that loose tire when I was standing +by the hind wheel the night before, and it come in +handy now. So I goes on: + +"Hank, he allowed he'd fix the hull thing fur +six bottles of that Injun medicine. Elmira has been +ailing lately, and he wanted it fur her. So they +handed Hank out six bottles then and there." + +"Huh!" says Jake. "So the job is all paid +fur, is it?" + +"Yes," says I, "and I was expecting to do it +myself. But now I guess I'll go fishing instead. +They ain't no other job in the shop." + +"I'll be dinged if you've got time to fish," says +Jake. "I'm expecting mebby to buy that rig off +the town myself when the law lets loose of it. So +if the fixing is paid fur, I want everything fixed." + +"Jake," says I, kind of worried like, "I don't +want to do it without that doctor says to go ahead." + +"They ain't his'n no longer," says Jake. + +"I dunno," says I, "as you got any right to make +me do it, Jake. It don't look to me like it's no +harm to beat a couple of fellers like them out of +their medicine. And I DID want to go fishing this +afternoon." + +But Jake was that careful and stingy he'd try +to skin a hoss twicet if it died. He's bound to +get that job done, now. + +"Danny," he says, "you gotto do that work. +It ain't HONEST not to. What a young feller like +you jest starting out into life wants to remember +is to always be honest. Then," says Jake, squinch- +ing up his eyes, "people trusts you and you get a +good chancet to make money. Look at this here +hotel and livery stable, Danny. Twenty years +ago I didn't have no more'n you've got, Danny. +But I always went by them mottoes--hard work +and being honest. You GOTTO nail them shoes on, +Danny, and fix that wheel." + +"Well, all right, Jake," says I, "if you feel that +way about it. Jest give me a chaw of tobacco and +come around and help me hitch 'em up." + +Si Emery was there asleep on a pile of straw +guarding that property. But Ralph Scott wasn't +around. Si didn't wake up till we had hitched 'em +up. He says he will ride around to the shop with +me. But Jake says: + +"It's all right, Si. I'll go over myself and fetch +'em back purty soon." Which Si was wore out +with being up so late the night before, and goes +back to sleep agin right off. + +Well, sir, they wasn't nothing went wrong. I +drove slow through the village and past our shop. +Hank come to the door of it as I went past. But +I hit them hosses a lick, and they broke into a right +smart trot. Elmira, she come onto the porch and +I waved my hand at her. She put her hand up to +her forehead to shut out the sun and jest stared. +She didn't know I was waving her farewell. Hank, +he yelled something at me, but I never hearn what. +I licked them hosses into a gallop and went around +the turn of the road. And that's the last I ever +seen or hearn of Hank or Elmira or that there little +town. + + + + + +CHAPTER V + + +I slowed down when I got to the school- +house, and both them fellers piled in. + +"I guess I better turn north fur about +a mile and then turn west, Doctor Kirby," I says, +"so as to make a kind of a circle around that town." + +"Why, so, Rube?" he asts me. + +"Well," I says, "we left it going east, and they'll +foller us east; so don't we want to be going west +while they're follering east?" + +Looey, he agreed with me. But he said it +wouldn't be much use, fur we would likely be +ketched up with and took back and hung or some- +thing, anyhow. Looey could get the lowest in his +sperrits sometimes of any man I ever seen. + +"Don't be afraid of that," says the doctor. +"They are not going to follow us. THEY know they +didn't get this property by due process of law. +THEY aren't going to take the case into a county +court where it will all come out about the way they +robbed a couple of travelling men with a fake +trial." + +"I guess you know more about the law'n I do," +I says. "I kind o' thought mebby we stole them +hosses." + +"Well," he says, "we got 'em, anyhow. And +if they try to arrest us without a warrant there'll +be the deuce to pay. But they aren't going to +make any more trouble. I know these country +crooks. They've got no stomach for trouble out- +side their own township." + +Which made me feel considerable better, fur I +never been of the opinion that going agin the law +done any one no good. + +They looks around in that wagon, and all their +stuff was there--Jake Smith and the squire hav- +ing kep' it all together careful to make things seem +more legal, I suppose--and the doctor was plumb +tickled, and Looey felt as cheerful as he ever felt +about anything. So the doctor says they has every- +thing they needs but some ready money, and he'll +get that sure, fur he never seen the time he couldn't. + +"But, Looey," he says, "I'm done with country +hotels from now on. They've got the last cent +they ever will from me--at least in the summer +time." + +"How you going to work it?" Looey asts him, +like he hasn't no hopes it will work right. + +"Camp out," says the doctor. "I've been think- +ing it all over." Then he turns to me. "Rube," +he says, "where are you going?" + +"Well," I says, "I ain't pinted nowhere in per- +tic'ler except away from that town we just left. +Which my name ain't Rube, Doctor Kirby, but +Danny." + +"Danny what?" asts he. + +"Nothing," says I, "jest Danny." + +"Well, then, Danny," says he, "how would you +like to be an Indian?" + +"Medical?" asts I, "or real?" + +"Like Looey," says he. + +I tells him being a medical Injun and mixed up +with a show like his'n would suit me down to the +ground, and asts him what is the main duties of +one besides the blankets and the feathers. + +"Well," he says, "this camping-out scheme of +mine will take a couple of Indians. Instead of pay- +ing hotel and feed bills we'll pitch our tent," he +says, "at the edge of town in each sweet Auburn of +the plains. We'll save money and we'll be near the +throbbing heart of nature. And an Indian camp +in each place will be a good advertisement for the +Sagraw. You can look after the horses and learn +to do the cooking and that kind o' thing. And +maybe after while," he says, kind o' working him- +self up to where he thought it was going to be real +nice, "maybe after while I will give you some in- +sight into the hidden mysteries of selling Siwash +Indian Sagraw." + +"Well," says I, "I'd like to learn that." + +"Would you?" says he, kind o' laughing at him- +self and me too, and yet kind o' enthusiastic, "well, +then, the first thing you have to do is learn how to +sell corn salve. Any one that can sell corn salve +can sell anything. There's a farmhouse right over +there, and I'll give you your first lesson right now. +Rummage around in that satchel there under the +seat and get me a tin box and some corn salve +labels." + +I found a lot of labels, and some boxes too. The +labels was all different sizes, but barring that they +all looked about the same to me. Whilst I was +sizing them up he asts me agin was they any corn +salve ones in there. + +"What colour label is it, Doctor Kirby?" I +asts him. Fur they was blue labels and white labels +and pink labels. + +He looks at me right queer. "Can't you read +the labels?" he says, right sharp. + +"Well," I says, "I never been much of a reader +when it comes to different kind of medicines." + +"Corn salve is spelled only one way," says he. + +"That's right," I says, "and you'd think I orter +be able to pick out a common, ordinary thing like +corn salve right off, wouldn't you?" + +"Danny," he says, "you don't mean to tell me +you can't read anything at all?" + +"I never told you nothing of the kind." + +He picks out a label. + +"If you can read so fast, what's that?" he asts. + +She is a pink one. I thinks to myself; she either +is corn salve or else she ain't corn salve. And it +ain't natcheral he will pick corn salve, fur he would +think I would say that first off. So I'm betting it +ain't. I takes a chancet on it. + +"That," says I, "is mighty easy reading. That is +Siwash Injun Sagraw." I lost. + +"It's corn salve," he says. "And Great Scott! +They call this the twentieth century!" + +"I never called it that," says I, sort o' mad-like. +Fur I was feeling bad Doctor Kirby had found out +I was such a ignoramus. + +"Where ignorance is bliss," says he, "it is folly +to be wise. But all the same, I'm going to take +your education in hand and make you drink of +life's Peruvian springs." Or some spring like that it +was. + +And the doctor, he done it. Looey said it +wouldn't be no use learning to read. He'd done a +lot of reading, he said, and it never helped him none. +All he ever read showed him this feller Hamlet was +right, he said, when he wrote Shakespeare's works, +and they wasn't much use in anything, without you +had a lot o' money. And they wasn't no chancet +to get that with all these here trusts around gobbling +up everything and stomping the poor man into the +dirt, and they was lots of times he wisht he was a +Injun sure enough, and not jest a medical one, fur +then he'd be a free man and the bosses and the +trusts and the railroads and the robber tariff +couldn't touch him. And then he shut up, and +didn't say nothing fur a hull hour, except oncet he +laughed. + +Fur Doctor Kirby, he says, winking at me: +"Looey, here, is a nihilist." + +"Is he," says I, what's that?" And the doctor +tells me about how they blow up dukes and czars +and them foreign high-mucky-mucks with dynamite. +Which is when Looey laughed. + +Well, we jogged along at a pretty good gait fur +several hours, and we stayed that night at a Swede's +place, which the doctor paid him fur everything in +medicine, only it took a long time to make the bar- +gain, fur them Swedes is always careful not to +get cheated, and hasn't many diseases. And the +next night we showed in a little town, and done +right well, and took in considerable money. We +stayed there three days and bought a tent and a +sheet-iron stove and some skillets and things and +some provisions, and a suit of duds for me. + +Well, we went on, and we kept going on, and they +was bully times. We'd ease up careful toward a +town, and pick us out a place on the edge, where +the hosses could graze along the side of the road; +and most ginerally by a piece of woods not fur from +that town, and nigh a crick, if we could. Then +we'd set up our tent. After we had everything +fixed, I'd put on my Injun clothes and Looey his'n, +and we'd drive through the main store street of +the town at a purty good lick, me a-holt of the +reins, and the doctor all togged out in his best clothes, +and Looey doing a Injun dance in the midst of the +wagon. I'd pull up the hosses sudden in front of +the post-office or the depot platform or the hotel, +and the people would come crowding around, and +the doctor he'd make a little talk from the wagon, +and tell everybody they would be a free show that +night on that corner, and fur everybody to come to +it. And then we'd drive back to camp, lickity- +split. + +Purty soon every boy in town would be out there, +kind o' hanging around, to see what a Injun camp +was like. And the farmers that went into and out +of town always stopped and passed the time of +day, and the Injun camp got the hull town all +worked up as a usual thing; and the doctor, he +done well, fur when night come every one would +be on hand. Looey and me, every time we went +into town, had on our Injun suits, and the doctor, +he wondered why he hadn't never thought up that +scheme before. Sometimes, when they was lots +of people ailing in a town, and they hadn't been +no show fur quite a while, we'd stay five or six +days, and make a good clean-up. The doctor, +he sent to Chicago several times fur alcohol in +barrels, 'cause he was selling it so fast he had to +make new Sagraw. And he had to get more and +more bottles, and a hull satchel full of new Sagraw +labels printed. + +And all the time the doctor was learning me edu- +cation. And shucks! they wasn't nothing so hard +about it oncet you'd got started in to reading things. +I jest natcherally took to print like a duck to water, +and inside of a month I was reading nigh every- +thing that has ever been wrote. He had lots of +books with him and every time a new sockdologer +of a word come along and I learnt how to spell +her and where she orter fit in to make sense it kind +o' tickled me all over. And many's the time +afterward, when me and the doctor had lost track +of each other, and they was quite a spell people +got to thinking I was a tramp, I've went into these +here Andrew Carnegie libraries in different towns +jest as much to see if they had anything fitten to +read as fur to keep warm. + +Well, we went easing over toward the Indiany +line, and we was having a purty good time. They +wasn't no work to do you could call really hard, +and they was plenty of vittles. Afternoons we'd +lazy around the camp and swap stories and make +medicine if we needed a batch, and josh back and +forth with the people that hung around, and loaf and +doze and smoke; or mebby do a little fishing if we +was nigh a crick. + +And nights after the show was over it was fun, +too. We always had a fire, even if it was a hot +night, fur to cook by in the first place, and fur to +keep mosquitoes off, and to make things seem more +cheerful. They ain't nothing so good as hanging +round a campfire. And they ain't nothing any +better than sleeping outdoors, neither. You roll +up in your blanket with your feet to the fire and you +get to wondering things about things afore you go +to sleep. The silentness jest natcherally swamps +everything after a while, and then all them queer +little noises you never hear in the daytime comes +popping and poking through the silentness, or kind +o' scratching their way through it sometimes, and +makes it kind o' feel more silent than ever. And +if you are nigh a crick, purty soon it will sort of +get to talking to you, only you can't make out what +it's trying to say, and you get to wondering about +that, too. And if you are in a tent and it rains +and the tent don't leak, that rain is a kind of a +nice thing to listen to itself. But if you can see +the stars you get to wondering more'n ever. They +come out and they is so many of them and they +are so fur away, and yet they are so kind o' friendly- +like, too, if you happen to be feeling purty good. +But if you ain't feeling purty good, jest lay there and +look at them stars long enough; and then mebby +you'll see it don't make no difference whether +you're feeling good or not, fur they got a way o' +making your private troubles look mighty small. +And you get to wondering why that is, too, fur they +ain't human; and it don't stand to reason you orter +pay no attention to them, one way nor the other. +They is jest there, like trees and cricks and hills. +But I have often noticed that the things that is +jest there has got a way of seeming more friendly +than the things that has been built and put there. +You can look at a big iron bridge or a grain elevator +or a canal all day long, and if you're feeling blue it +don't help you none. It was jest put there. Or +a hay stack is the same way. But you go and lazy +around in the grass when you're down on your luck +and kind o' make remarks to a crick or a big, old +walnut tree, and before long it gets you to feeling +like it didn't make no difference how you felt, +anyhow; fur you don't amount to nothing by the +side of something that was always there. You +get to thinking how the hull world itself was always +here, and you sort o' see they ain't nothing im- +portant enough about yourself to worry about, +and presently you will go to sleep and forget +it. The doctor says to me one time them stars +ain't any different from this world, and this is +one of them. Which is a fool idea, as any one +can see. He had a lot of queer ideas like that, +Doctor Kirby had. But they ain't nothing like +sleeping out of doors nights to make you wonder +the kind of wonderings you never will get any +answer to. + +Well, I never cared so much fur houses after them +days. They was bully times, them was. And I +was kind of proud of being with a show, too. +Many's the time I have went down the street in +that there Injun suit, and seen how the young +fellers would of give all they owned to be me. And +every now and then you would hear one say when +you went past: + +"Huh, I know him! That's one of them show +fellers!" + +One afternoon we pitches our tent right on the +edge of a little town called Athens. We was nigh +the bank of a crick, and they was a grove there. +We was camped jest outside of a wood-lot fence, +and back in through the trees from us they was a +house with a hedge fence all around it. They was +apple trees and all kind of flower bushes and things +inside of the hedge. The second day we was there +I takes a walk back through the wood-lot, and +along past the house, and they was one of these +here early harvest apple trees spilling apples through +a gap in the fence. Them is a mighty sweet and +juicy kind of apple, and I picks one up and bites +into it. + +"I think you might have asked for it," says +some one. + + + + + +CHAPTER VI + + +I looks up, and that was how I got ac- +quainted with Martha. She was eating +one herself, setting up in the tree like a boy. +In her lap was a book she had been reading. She +was leaning back into the fork two limbs made so +as not to tumble. + +"Well," I says, "can I have one?" + +"You've eaten it already," she says, "so there +isn't any use begging for it now." + +I seen she was a tease, that girl, and I would of +give anything to of been able to tease her right +back agin. But I couldn't think of nothing to +say, so I jest stands there kind o' dumb like, thinking +what a dern purty girl she was, and thinking how +dumb I must look, and I felt my face getting red. +Doctor Kirby would of thought of something to say +right off. And after I got back to camp I would +think of something myself. But I couldn't think +of nothing bright, so I says: + +"Well, then, you give me another one!" + +She gives the core of the one she has been eating +a toss at me. But I ketched it, and made like I +was going to throw it back at her real hard. She +slung up her arm, and dodged back, and she dropped +her book. + +I thinks to myself I'll learn that girl to get sassy +and make me feel like a dumb-head, even if she is +purty. So I don't say a word. I jest picks up +that book and sticks it under my arm and walks +away slow with it to where they was a stump a +little ways off, not fur from the crick, and sets down +with my back to her and opens it. And I was +trying all the time to think of something smart to +say to her. But I couldn't of done it if I was to +be shot. Still, I thinks to myself, no girl can sass me +and not get sassed back, neither. + +I hearn a scramble behind me which I knowed +was her getting out of that tree. And in a minute +she was in front of me, mad. + +"Give me my book," she says. + +But I only reads the name of the book out loud, +fur to aggervate her. I had on purty good duds, +but I kind of wisht I had on my Injun rig then. +You take the girls that always comes down to see +the passenger train come into the depot in them +country towns and that Injun rig of mine and +Looey's always made 'em turn around and look at +us agin. I never wisht I had on them Injun duds +so hard before in my life. But I couldn't think of +nothing bright to say, so I jest reads the name of +that book over to myself agin, kind o' grinning +like I got a good joke I ain't going to tell any one. + +"You give me my book," she says agin, red as +one of them harvest apples, "or I'll tell Miss Hamp- +ton you stole it and she'll have you and your show +arrested." + +I reads the name agin. It was "The Lost Heir." +I seen I had her good and teased now, so I says: +"It must be one of these here love stories by the +way you take on over it." + +"It's not," she says, getting ready to cry. "And +what right have you got in our wood-lot, anyhow?" + +"Well," I says, "I was jest about to move on and +climb out of it when you hollered to me from that +tree." + +"I didn't!" she says. But she was mad because +she knowed she HAD spoke to me first, and she was +awful sorry she had. + +"I thought I hearn you holler," I says, "but +I guess it must of been a squirrel." I said it kind +o' sarcastic like, fur I was still mad with myself +fur being so dumb when we first seen each other. +I hadn't no idea it would hurt her feelings as hard +as it did. But all of a sudden she begins to wink, +and her chin trembled, and she turned around short, +and started to walk off slow. She was mad with +herself fur being ketched in a lie, and she was +wondering what I would think of her fur being +so bold as to of spoke first to a feller she didn't +know. + +I got up and follered her a little piece. And it +come to me all to oncet I had teased her too hard, +and I was down on myself fur it. + +"Say," I says, kind of tagging along beside of +her, "here's your old book." + +But she didn't make no move to take it, and her +hands was over her face, and she wouldn't pull +'em down to even look at it. + +So I tried agin. + +"Well," I says, feeling real mean, "I wisht you +wouldn't cry. I didn't go to make you do that." + +She drops her hands and whirls around on me, +mad as a wet hen right off. + +"I'm not! I'm not!" she sings out, and stamps +her feet. "I'm not crying!" But jest then she +loses her holt on herself and busts out and jest +natcherally bellers. "I hate you!" she says, like +she could of killed me. + +That made me kind of dumb agin. Fur it come +to me all to oncet I liked that girl awful well. And +here I'd up and made her hate me. I held the book +out to her agin and says: + +"Well, I'm mighty sorry fur that, fur I don't feel +that-a-way about you a-tall. Here's your book." + +Well, sir, she snatches that book and she gives +it a sling. I thought it was going kersplash into +the crick. But it didn't. It hit right into the fork +of a limb that hung down over the crick, and it all +spread out when it lit, and stuck in that crotch +somehow. She couldn't of slung it that way on +purpose in a million years. We both stands and +looks at it a minute. + +"Oh, oh!" she says, "what have I done? It's +out of the town library and I'll have to pay for it." + +"I'll get it fur you," I says. But it wasn't no +easy job. If I shook that limb it would tumble +into the crick. But I clumb the tree and eased out +on that limb as fur as I dast to. And, of course, +jest as I got holt of the book, that limb broke +and I fell into the crick. But I had the book. +It was some soaked, but I reckoned it could still +be read. + +I clumb out and she was jest splitting herself +laughing at me. The wet on her face where she +had cried wasn't dried up yet, and she was laughing +right through it, kind o' like the sun does to one +of these here May rainstorms sometimes, and she +was the purtiest girl I ever seen. Gosh!--how I +was getting to like that girl! And she told me I +looked like a drowned rat. + +Well, that was how Martha and me was inter- +duced. She wasn't more'n sixteen, and when she +found out I was a orphan she was glad, fur she was +one herself. Which Miss Hampton that lived in +that house had took her to raise. And when I +tells her how I been travelling around the country +all summer she claps her hands and she says: + +"Oh, you are on a quest! How romantic!" + +I asts her what is a quest. And she tells me. +She knowed all about them, fur Martha was con- +siderable of a reader. Some of them was longer +and some of them was shorter, them quests, but +mostly, Martha says, they was fur a twelvemonth +and a day. And then you are released from your +vow and one of these here queens gives you a whack +over the shoulder with a sword and says: "Arise, +Sir Marmeluke, I dub you a night." And then it +is legal fur you to go out and rescue people and +reform them and spear them if they don't see +things your way, and come between husband and +wife when they row, and do a heap of good in the +world. Well, they was other kind of quests too, but +mostly you married somebody, or was dubbed +a night, or found the party you was looking fur, +in the end. And Martha had it all fixed up in her +own mind I was in a quest to find my father. Fur, +says she, he is purty certain to be a powerful rich +man and more'n likely a earl. + +The way I was found, Martha says, kind o' +pints to the idea they was a earl mixed up in it +somewhere. She had read a lot about earls, and +knew their ways. Mebby my mother was a earl's +daughter. Earl's daughters is the worst fur leaving +you out in baskets, going by what Martha said. +It is a kind of a habit with them, fur they is awful +proud people. But it was a lucky way to start +life, from all she said, that basket way. There +was Moses was left out that way, and when he +growed up he was made a kind of a president of +the hull human race, the same as Ruzevelt, and +figgered out the twelve commandments. Martha +would of give anything if she could of only been +found in a basket like me, I could see that. But +she wasn't. She had jest been left a orphan when +her folks died. They wasn't even no hopes she +had been changed at birth fur another one. But +I seen down in under everything Martha kind o' +thought mebby one of them nights might come +a-prancing along and wed her in spite of herself, +or she would be carried off, or something. She was +a very romanceful kind of girl. + +When I seen she had it figgered out I was in a +quest fur some high-mucky-muck fur a dad, I +didn't tell her no different. I didn't take much +stock in them earls and nights myself. So fur as +I could see they was all furriners of one kind or +another. But that thing of being into a quest +kind of interested me, too. + +"How would I know him if I was to run acrost +him?" I asts her. + +"You would feel an Intangible Something," she +says, "drawing you toward him." + +I asts her what kind of a something. I make out +from what she says it is some like these fellers that +can find water with a piece of witch hazel switch. +You take a switch of it between your thumbs and +point it up. Then you shut your eyes and walk +backwards. When you get over where the water +is the witch hazel stick twists around and points +to the ground. You dig there and you get a good +well. Nobody knows jest why that stick is drawed +to the ground. It is like one of these little whirly- +gig compasses is drawed to the north. It is the +same, Martha says, if you is on a quest fur a +father or a mother, only you have got to be +worthy of that there quest, she says. The +first time you meet the right one you are +drawed jest like the witch hazel. That is the +Intangible Something working on you, she says. +Martha had learnt a lot about that. The book +that had fell in the crick was like that. She lent +it to me. + +Well, that all sounded kind of reasonable to me. +I seen that witch hazel work myself. Old Blindy +Wolfe, whose eyes had been dead fur so many +years they had turned plumb white, had that gift, +and picked out all the places fur wells that was dug +in our neighbourhood at home. And I makes up +my mind I will watch out fur that feeling of being +drawed wherever I goes after this. You can't tell +what will come of them kind of things. So purty soon +Martha has to milk the cow, and I goes along back +to camp thinking about that quest and about what +a purty girl she is, which we had set there talking +so long it was nigh sundown and my clothes had +dried onto me. + +When I got over to camp I seen they must be +something wrong. Looey was setting in the grass +under the wagon looking kind of sour and kind of +worried and watching the doctor. The doctor +was jest inside the tent, and he was looking queer +too, and not cheerful, which he was usually. + +The doctor looks at me like he don't skeercly +know me. Which he don't. He has one of them +quiet kind of drunks on. Which Looey explains +is bound to come every so often. He don't do +nothing mean, but jest gets low-sperrited and +won't talk to no one. Then all of a sudden he will +go down town and walk up and down the main +streets, orderly, but looking hard into people's +faces, mostly women's faces. Oncet, Looey says, +they was big trouble over it. They was in a store +in a good-sized town, and he took hold of a woman's +chin, and tilted her face back, and looked at her +hard, and most scared her to death, and they was +nearly being a riot there. And he was jailed and +had to pay a big fine. Since then Looey always +follers him around when he is that-a-way. + +Well, that night Doctor Kirby is too fur gone +fur us to have our show. He jest sets and stares +and stares at the fire, and his eyes looks like they +is another fire inside of his head, and he is hurting +outside and in. Looey and me watches him from +the shadders fur a long time before we turns in, +and the last thing I seen before I went to sleep was +him setting there with his face in his hands, staring, +and his lips moving now and then like he was talking +to himself. + +The next day he is asleep all morning. But that +day he don't drink any more, and Looey says mebby +it ain't going to be one of the reg'lar pifflicated +kind. I seen Martha agin that day, too--twicet +I has talks with her. I told her about the doctor. + +"Is he into a quest, do you think?" I asts her. + +She says she thinks it is remorse fur some crime +he has done. But I couldn't figger Doctor Kirby +would of done none. So that night after the show +I says to him, innocent-like: + +"Doctor Kirby, what is a quest?" He looks at +me kind of queer. + +"Wherefore," says he, "this sudden thirst for +enlightenment?" + +"I jest run acrost the word accidental-like," I +told him. + +He looks at me awful hard, his eyes jest natcherally +digging into me. I felt like he knowed I had set +out to pump him. I wisht I hadn't tried it. Then +he tells me a quest is a hunt. And I'm glad +that's over with. But it ain't. Fur purty soon +he says: + +"Danny, did you ever hear of Lady Clara Vere +de Vere?" + +"No," I says, "who is she?" + +"A lady friend of Lord Tennyson's," he says, +"whose manners were above reproach." + +"Well," I says, "she sounds kind of like a medi- +cine to me." + +"Lady Clara," he says, "and all the other Vere +de Veres, were people with manners we should +try to imitate. If Lady Clara had been here last +night when I was talking to myself, Danny, her +manners wouldn't have let her listen to what I +was talking about." + +"I didn't listen!" I says. Fur I seen what he +was driving at now with them Vere de Veres. He +thought I had ast him what a quest was because he +was on one. I was certain of that, now. He +wasn't quite sure what he had been talking about, +and he wanted to see how much I had hearn. I +thinks to myself it must be a awful funny kind of +hunt he is on, if he only hunts when he is in that +fix. But I acted real innocent and like my feelings +was hurt, and he believed me. Purty soon he says, +cheerful like: + +"There was a girl talking to you to-day, Danny." + +"Mebby they was," I says, "and mebby they +wasn't." But I felt my face getting red all the +same, and was mad because it did. He grinned +kind of aggervating at me and says some poetry +at me about in the spring a young man's frenzy +likely turns to thoughts of love. + +"Well," I says, kind of sheepish-like, "this is +summer-time, and purty nigh autumn." Then I +seen I'd jest as good as owned up I liked Martha, +and was kind of mad at myself fur that. But I +told him some more about her, too. Somehow +I jest couldn't help it. He laughs at me and goes +on into the tent. + +I laid there and looked at the fire fur quite a +spell, outside the tent. I was thinking, if all them +tales wasn't jest dern foolishness, how I wisht I +would really find a dad that was a high-mucky- +muck and could come back in an automobile and +take her away. I laid there fur a long, long time; +it must of been fur a couple of hours. I supposed +the doctor had went to sleep. + +But all of a sudden I looks up, and he is in the +door of the tent staring at me. I seen he had been +in there at it hard agin, and thinking, quiet-like, +all this time. He stood there in the doorway of +the tent, with the firelight onto his face and his +red beard, and his arms stretched out, holding to +the canvas and looking at me strange and wild. +Then he moved his hand up and down at me, and +he says: + +"If she's fool enough to love you, treat her well-- +treat her well. For if you don't, you can never +run away from the hell you'll carry in your own +heart." + +And he kind of doubled up and pitched forward +when he said that, and if I hadn't ketched him +he would of fell right acrost the fire. He was +plumb pifflicated. + + + + + +CHAPTER VII + + +Martha wouldn't of took anything fur +being around Miss Hampton, she said. +Miss Hampton was kind of quiet and +sweet and pale looking, and nobody ever thought +of talking loud or raising any fuss when she was +around. She had enough money of her own to +run herself on, and she kep' to herself a good deal. +She had come to that town from no one knowed +where, years ago, and bought that place. Fur all +of her being so gentle and easy and talking with +one of them soft, drawly kind of voices, Martha +says, no one had ever dared to ast her about herself, +though they was a lot of women in that town that +was wishful to. + +But Martha said she knowed what Miss Hamp- +ton's secret was, and she hadn't told no one, neither. +Which she told me, and all the promising I done +about not telling would of made the cold chills +run up your back, it was so solemn. Miss Hampton +had been jilted years ago, Martha said, and the +name of the jilter was David Armstrong. Well, +he must of been a low down sort of man. Martha +said if things was only fixed in this country like they +ought to be, she would of sent a night to find that +David Armstrong. And that would of ended up in a +mortal combat, and the night would have cleaved him. + +"Yes," says I, "and then you would of married +that there night, I suppose." + +She says she would of. + +"Well," says I, "mebby you would of and mebby +you wouldn't of. If he cleaved David Armstrong, +that night would likely be arrested fur it." + +Martha says if he was she would wait outside +his dungeon keep fur years and years, till she was +a old woman with gray in her hair, and every day +they would give lingering looks at each other through +the window bars. And they would be happy that- +a-way. And she would get her a white dove and +train it so it would fly up to that window and take in +notes to him, and he would send notes back that-a- +way, and they would both be awful sad and ro- +manceful and contented doing that-a-way fur ever +and ever. + +Well, I never took no stock in them mournful +ways of being happy. I couldn't of riz up to being +a night fur Martha. She expected too much of one. +I thought it over fur a little spell without saying +anything, and I tried to make myself believe I would +of liked all that dove business. But it wasn't no +use pertending. I knowed I would get tired of it. + +"Martha," I says, "mebby these here nights is +all right, and mebby they ain't. I never seen +one, and I don't know. And, mind you, I ain't +saying a word agin their way of acting. I can't +say how I would of been myself, if I had been brung +up like them. But it looks to me, from some of +the things you've said about 'em, they must have +a dern fool streak in 'em somewheres." + +I was kind of jealous of them nights, I guess, or +I wouldn't of run 'em down that-a-way behind +their backs. But the way she was always taking +on over them was calkelated to make me see I +wasn't knee-high to a duck in Martha's mind +when one of them nights popped into her head. +When I run 'em down that-a-way, she says to the +blind all things is blind, and if I had any chivalry +into me myself I'd of seen they wasn't jest dern +fools, but noble, and seen it easy. And she sighed, +like she'd looked fur better things from me. When +I hearn her do that I felt sorry I hadn't come up +to her expectances. So I says: + +"Martha, it's no use pertending I could stay in +one of them jails and keep happy at it. I got to +be outdoors. But I tell you what I can do, if it +will make you feel any better. If I ever happen to +run acrost this here David Armstrong, and he is +anywheres near my size, I'll lick him fur you. +And if he's too hefty fur me to lick him fair," I +says, "and I get a good chancet I will hit him with +a piece of railroad iron fur you." + +Of course, I knowed I would never find him. But +what I said seemed to brighten her up a little. + +"But," says I, "if I went too fur with it, and was +hung fur it, how would you feel then, Martha?" + +Well, sir, that didn't jar Martha none. She +looked kind of dreamy and said mebby she would +go and jine a convent and be a nun. And when +she got to be the head nun she would build a chapel +over the tomb where I was buried in. And every +year, on the day of the month I was hung on, she +would lead all the other nuns into that chapel, and +the organ would play mournful, and each nun as +passed would lay down a bunch of white roses onto +my tomb. I reckon that orter made me feel good, +but somehow it didn't. + +So I changed the subject, and asts her why I ain't +seen Miss Hampton around the place none. Martha +says she has a bad sick headache and ain't been +outside the house fur four or five days. I asts +her why she don't wait on her. But she don't +want her to, Martha says. She's been staying in +the house ever since we been in town, and jest +wants to be let alone. I thinks all that is kind of +funny. And then I seen from the way Martha is +answering my questions that she is holding back +something she would like to tell, but don't think +she orter tell. I leaves her alone and purty soon +she says: + +"Do you believe in ghosts?" + +I tell her sometimes I think I don't believe in 'em, +and sometimes I think I do, but anyhow I would +hate to see one. I asts her why does she ast. + +"Because," she says, "because--but I hadn't +ought to tell you." + +"It's daylight," I says; "it's no use being scared +to tell now." + +"It ain't that," she says, "but it's a secret." + +When she said it was a secret, I knowed she would +tell. Martha liked having her friends help her to +keep a secret. + +"I think Miss Hampton has seen one," she says, +finally, "and that her staying indoors has something +to do with that." + +Then she tells me. The night of the day after +we camped there, her and Miss Hampton was out +fur a walk. We didn't have any show that night. +They passed right by our camp, and they seen us +there by the fire, all three of us. But they was in +the road in the dark, and we was all in the light, so +none of the three of us seen them. Miss Hampton +was kind of scared of us, first glance, fur she gasped +and grabbed holt of Martha's arm all of a sudden +so tight she pinched it. Which it was very natcheral +that she would be startled, coming across three +strange men all of a sudden at night around a turn +in the road. They went along home, and Martha +went inside and lighted a lamp, but Miss Hampton +lingered on the porch fur a minute. Jest as she +lit the lamp Martha hearn another little gasp, or +kind of sigh, from Miss Hampton out there on the +porch. Then they was the sound of her falling +down. Martha ran out with the lamp, and she was +laying there. She had fainted and keeled over. +Martha said jest in the minute she had left her +alone on the porch was when Miss Hampton must +of seen the ghost. Martha brung her to, and she +was looking puzzled and wild-like both to oncet. +Martha asts her what is the matter. + +"Nothing," she says, rubbing her fingers over her +forehead in a helpless kind of way, "nothing." + +"You look like you had seen a ghost," Martha +tells her. + +Miss Hampton looks at Martha awful funny, +and then she says mebby she HAS seen a ghost, and +goes along upstairs to bed. And since then she +ain't been out of the house. She tells Martha it is +a sick headache, but Martha says she knows it +ain't. She thinks she is scared of something. + +"Scared?" I says. "She wouldn't see no more +ghosts in the daytime." + +Martha says how do I know she wouldn't? She +knows a lot about ghosts of all kinds, Martha does. + +Horses and dogs can see them easier than humans, +even in the daytime, and it makes their hair stand +up when they do. But some humans that have +the gift can see them in the daytime like an animal. +And Martha asts me how can I tell but Miss Hamp- +ton is like that? + +"Well, then," I says, "she must be a witch. +And if she is a witch why is she scared of them +a-tall?" + +But Martha says if you have second sight you +don't need to be a witch to see them in the day- +time. + +Well, you can never tell about them ghosts. +Some says one thing and some says another. Old +Mis' Primrose, in our town, she always believed in +'em firm till her husband died. When he was dying +they fixed it up he was to come back and visit her. +She told him he had to, and he promised. And she +left the front door open fur him night after night +fur nigh a year, in all kinds of weather; but Prim- +rose never come. Mis' Primrose says he never +lied to her, and he always done jest as she told +him, and if he could of come she knowed he would; +and when he didn't she quit believing in ghosts. +But they was others in our town said it didn't +prove nothing at all. They said Primrose had +really been lying to her all his life, because she +was so bossy he had to lie to keep peace in the +fambly, and she never ketched on. Well, if I was +a ghost and had of been Mis' Primrose's husband +when I was a human, I wouldn't of come back +neither, even if she had of bully-ragged me into one +of them death-bed promises. I guess Primrose +figgered he had earnt a rest. + +If they is ghosts, what comfort they can get out +of coming back where they ain't wanted and scaring +folks is more'n I can see. It's kind of low down, +I think, and foolish too. Them kind of ghosts is +like these here overgrown smart alecs that scares +kids. They think they are mighty cute, but they +ain't. They are jest foolish. A human, or a ghost +either, that does things like that is jest simply +got no principle to him. I hearn a lot of talk +about 'em, first and last, and I ain't ready to say +they ain't no ghosts, nor yet ready to say they +is any. To say they is any is to say something +that is too plumb unlikely. And too many people +has saw them fur me to say they ain't any. But +if they is, or they ain't, so fur as I can see, it don't +make much difference. Fur they never do nothing, +besides scaring you, except to rap on tables and +tell fortunes, and such fool things. Which a human +can do it all better and save the expense of paying +money to one of these here sperrit mediums that +travels around and makes 'em perform. But all +the same they has been nights I has felt different +about 'em myself, and less hasty to run 'em down. +Well, it don't do no good to speak harsh of no one, +not even a ghost or a ordinary dead man, and if I +was to see a ghost, mebby I would be all the scareder +fur what I have jest wrote. + +Well, with all the talking back and forth we done +about them ghosts we couldn't agree. That after- +noon it seemed like we couldn't agree about any- +thing. I knowed we would be going away from +there before long, and I says to myself before I +go I'm going to have that girl fur my girl, or else +know the reason why. No matter what I was +talking about, that idea was in the back of my +head, and somehow it kind of made me want to +pick fusses with her, too. We was setting on a +log, purty deep into the woods, and there come a +time when neither of us had said nothing fur quite +a spell. But after a while I says: + +"Martha, we'll be going away from here in two, +three days now." + +She never said nothing. + +"Will you be sorry?" I asts her. + +She says she will be sorry. + +"Well," I says, "WHY will you be sorry?" + +I thought she would say because _I_ was going. +And then I would be finding out whether she liked +me a lot. But she says the reason she will be sorry +is because there will be no one new to talk to about +things both has read. I was considerable took +down when she said that. + +"Martha," I says, "it's more'n likely I won't +never see you agin after I go away." + +She says that kind of parting comes between the +best of friends. + +I seen I wasn't getting along very fast, nor +saying what I wanted to say. I reckon one of them +Sir Marmeluke fellers would of knowed what to +say. Or Doctor Kirby would. Or mebby even +Looey would of said it better than I could. So I +was kind of mad with myself, and I says, mean-like: + +"If you don't care, of course, I don't care, neither." + +She never answered that, so I gets up and makes +like I am starting off. + +"I was going to give you some of them there Injun +feathers of mine to remember me by," I tells her, +"but if you don't want 'em, there's plenty of others +would be glad to take 'em." + +But she says she would like to have them. + +"Well," I says, "I will bring them to you to- +morrow afternoon." + +She says, "Thank you." + +Finally I couldn't stand it no longer. I got +brave all of a sudden, and busted out: "Martha, +I--I--I--" + +But I got to stuttering, and my braveness stut- +tered itself away. And I finishes up by saying: + +"I like you a hull lot, Martha." Which wasn't +jest exactly what I had planned fur to say. + +Martha, she says she kind of likes me, too. + +"Martha," I says, "I like you more'n any girl +I ever run acrost before." + +She says, "Thank you," agin. The way she +said it riled me up. She said it like she didn't +know what I meant, nor what I was trying to get +out of me. But she did know all the time. I +knowed she did. She knowed I knowed it, too. +Gosh-dern it, I says to myself, here I am wasting +all this time jest TALKING to her. The right thing +to do come to me all of a sudden, and like to took +my breath away. But I done it. I grabbed her +and I kissed her. + +Twice. And then agin. Because the first was +on the chin on account of her jerking her head +back. And the second one she didn't help me none. +But the third time she helped me a little. And +the ones after that she helped me considerable. + +Well, they ain't no use trying to talk about the +rest of that afternoon. I couldn't rightly describe +it if I wanted to. And I reckon it's none of any- +body's business. + +Well, it makes you feel kind of funny. You +want to go out and pick on somebody about four +sizes bigger'n you are and knock the socks off'n +him. It stands to reason others has felt that-a-way, +but you don't believe it. You want to tell people +about it one minute. The next minute you have +got chills and ague fur fear some one will guess it. +And you think the way you are about her is going +to last fur always. + +That evening, when I was cooking supper, I +laughed every time I was spoke to. When Looey +and I was hitching up to drive down town to give +the show, one of the hosses stepped on his foot and +I laughed at that, and there was purty nigh a fight. +And I was handling some bottles and broke one +and cut my hand on a piece of glass. I held it +out fur a minute dumb-like, with the blood and +medicine dripping off of it, and all of a sudden I +busted out laughing agin. The doctor asts if I am +crazy. And Looey says he has thought I was from +the very first, and some night him and the doctor +will be killed whilst asleep. One of the things we +have every night in the show is an Injun dance, +and Looey and I sings what the doctor calls the +Siwash war chant, whirling round and round each +other, and making licks at each other with our +tommyhawks, and letting out sudden wild yips +in the midst of that chant. That night I like to +of killed Looey with that tommyhawk, I was feeling +so good. If it had been a real one, instead of painted-up +wood, I would of killed Looey, the lick I give him. +The worst part of that was that, after the show, +when we got back to camp and the hosses was +picketed out fur the night, I had to tell Looey all +about how I felt fur an explanation of why I hit +him. + +Which it made Looey right low in his sperrits, +and he shakes his head and says no good will come +of it. + +"Did you ever hear of Romeo and Joliet?" he +says: + +"Mebby," I says, "but what it was I hearn I +can't remember. What about them?" + +"Well," he says, "they carried on the same as +you. And now where are they?" + +"Well," I says, "where are they?" + +"In the tomb," says Looey, very sad, like they +was closte personal friends of his'n. And he told +me all about them and how Young Cobalt had done +fur them. But from what I could make out it all +happened away back in the early days. And +shucks!--I didn't care a dern, anyhow. I told +him so. + +"Well," he says, "It's been the history of the +world that it brings trouble." And he says to +look at Damon and Pythias, and Othello and the +Merchant of Venus. And he named about a +hundred prominent couples like that out of Shake- +speare's works. + +"But it ends happy sometimes," I says. + +"Not when it is true love it don't," says Looey. +"Look at Anthony and Cleopatra." + +"Yes," I says, sarcastic like, "I suppose they +are in the tomb, too?" + +"They are," says Looey, awful solemn. + +"Yes," I says, "and so is Adam and Eve and Dan +and Burrsheba and all the rest of them old-timers. +But I bet they had a good time while they lasted." + +Looey shakes his head solemn and sighs and +goes to sleep very mournful, like he has to give me +up fur lost. But I can't sleep none myself. So +purty soon I gets up and puts on my shoes and +sneaks through the wood-lot and through the gap +in the fence by the apple tree and into Miss Hamp- +ton's yard. + +It was a beauty of a moonlight night, that white +and clear and clean you could almost see to read +by it, like all of everything had been scoured as +bright as the bottom of a tin pan. And the +shadders was soft and thick and velvety and laid +kind of brownish-greeney on the grass. I flopped +down in the shadder of some lilac bushes and won- +dered which was Martha's window. I knowed she +would be in bed long ago, but-- Well, I was jest +plumb foolish that night, and I couldn't of kept +away fur any money. That moonlight had got +into my head, it seemed like, and made me drunk. +But I would rather be looney that-a-way than to +have as much sense as King Solomon and all his +adverbs. I was that looney that if I had knowed +any poetry I would of said it out loud, right up +toward that window. I never knowed why poetry +was made up before that night. But the only +poetry I could think of was about there was a man +named Furgeson that lived on Market Street, and +he had a one-eyed Thomas cat that couldn't well +be beat. Which it didn't seem to fit the case, so +I didn't say her. + +The porch of that house was part covered with +vines, but they was kind of gaped apart at one +corner. As I laid there in the shadder of the bushes +I hearn a fluttering movement, light and gentle, +on that porch. Then, all of a sudden, I seen some +one standing on the edge of the porch where the +vines was gaped apart, and the moonlight was +falling onto them. They must of come there awful +soft and still. Whoever it was couldn't see into +the shadder where I laid, that is, if it was a human +and not a ghost. Fur my first thought was it might +be one of them ghosts I had been running down so +that very day, and mebby the same one Miss Hamp- +ton seen on that very same porch. I thought I +was in fur it then, mebby, and I felt like some one +had whispered to the back of my neck it ought +to be scared. And I WAS scared clean up into my +hair. I stared hard, fur I couldn't take my eyes +away. Then purty soon I seen if it was a ghost it +must be a woman ghost. Fur it was dressed in +light-coloured clothes that moved jest a little in +the breeze, and the clothes was so near the colour +of the moonlight they seemed to kind of silver +into it. You would of said it had jest floated +there, and was waiting fur to float away agin when +the breeze blowed a little stronger, or the moon +drawed it. + +It didn't move fur ever so long. Then it leaned +forward through the gap in the vines, and I seen +the face real plain. It wasn't no ghost, it was a +lady. Then I knowed it must be Miss Hampton +standing there. Away off through the trees our +camp fire sent up jest a dull kind of a glow. She +was standing there looking at that. I wondered +why. + + + + + +CHAPTER VIII + + +The next day we broke camp and was gone +from that place, and I took away with +me the half of a ring me and Martha had +chopped in two. We kept on going, and by the +time punkins and county fairs was getting ripe +we was into the upper left-hand corner of Ohio. +And there Looey left us. + +One day Doctor Kirby and me was walking +along the main street of a little town and we seen +a bang-up funeral percession coming. It must +of been one of the Grand Army of the Republicans, +fur they was some of the old soldiers in buggies +riding along behind, and a big string of people +follering in more buggies and some on foot. Every- +body was looking mighty sollum. But they was +one man setting beside the undertaker on the seat +of the hearse that was looking sollumer than them +all. It was Looey, and I'll bet the corpse himself +would of felt proud and happy and contented if +he could of knowed the style Looey was giving +that funeral. + +It wasn't nothing Looey done, fur he didn't +do nothing but jest set there with his arms folded +onto his bosom and look sad. But he done THAT +better than any one else. He done it so well that +you forgot the corpse was the chief party to that +funeral. Looey took all the glory from him. He +had jest natcherally stole that funeral away from +its rightful owner with his enjoyment of it. He +seen the doctor and me as the hearse went by our +corner, but he never let on. A couple of hours +later Looey comes into camp and says he is going +to quit. + +The doctor asts him if he has inherited money. + +"No," says Looey, "but my aunt has given me +a chancet to go into business." + +Looey says he was born nigh there, and was +prowling around town the day before and run +acrost an old aunt of his'n he had forgot all about. +She is awful respectable and religious and ashamed +of him being into a travelling show. And she has +offered to lend him enough to buy a half-share in a +business. + +"Well," says the doctor, "I hope it will be some- +thing you are fitted for and will enjoy. But I've +noticed that after a man gets the habit of roaming +around this terrestial ball it's mighty hard to settle +down and watch his vine and fig tree grow." + +Looey smiles in a sad sort of a way, which he +seldom smiled fur anything, and says he guesses +he'll like the business. He says they ain't many +businesses he could take to. Most of them makes +you forget this world is but a fleeting show. But +he has found a business which keeps you reminded +all the time that dust is dust and ash to ashes shalt +return. When he first went into the medicine +business, he said, he was drawed to it by the diseases +and the sudden dyings-off it always kept him in +mind of. He thought they wasn't no other business +could lay over it fur that kind of comfort. But +he has found out his mistake. + +"What kind of business are you going into?" +asts the doctor. + +"I am going to be an undertaker," says Looey. +"My aunt says this town needs the right kind of +an undertaker bad." + +Mr. Wilcox, the undertaker that town has, is +getting purty old and shaky, Looey says, and +young Mr. Wilcox, his son, is too light-minded and +goes at things too brisk and airy to give it the +right kind of a send-off. People don't want him +joking around their corpses and he is a fat young +man and can't help making puns even in the presence +of the departed. Old Mr. Wilcox's eyesight is +getting so poor he made a scandal in that town only +the week before. He was composing a departed's +face into a last smile, but he went too fur with it, +and give the departed one of them awful mean, +devilish kind of grins, like he had died with a bad +temper on. By the time the departed's fambly +had found it out, things had went too fur, and the +face had set that-a-way, so it wasn't safe to try +to change it any. + +Old Mr. Wilcox had several brands of last looks. +One was called: Bear Up, for We Will Meet Again." +The one that had went wrong was his favourite +look, named: O Death, Where is Thy Victory?" + +Looey's aunt says she will buy him a partnership +if she is satisfied he can fill the town's needs. They +have a talk with the Wilcoxes, and he rides on the +hearse that day fur a try-out. His aunt peeks out +behind her bedroom curtains as the percession goes +by her house, and when she sees the style Looey is +giving to that funeral, and how easy it comes to +him, that settles it with her on the spot. And it +seems the hull dern town liked it, too, including +the departed's fambly. + +Looey says they is a lot of chancet fur improve- +ments in the undertaking game by one whose heart +is in his work, and he is going into that business +to make a success of it, and try and get all the funeral +trade fur miles around. He reads us an advertise- +ment of the new firm he has been figgering out fur +that town's weekly paper. I cut a copy out when +it was printed, and it is about the genteelest thing +like that I even seen, as follers: + + +WILCOX AND SIMMS +Invite Your Patronage + +This earth is but a fleeting show, and the blank-winged angels +wait for all. It is always a satisfaction to remember that +all possible has been done for the deceased. + + +See Our New Line of Coffins +Lined Caskets a Specialty +Lodge Work Solicited + + +Time and tide wait for no man, and his days are few and full +of troubles. The paths of glory lead but to the grave, and +none can tell when mortal feet may stumble. + +When in Town Drop in and Inspect +Our New Embalming Outfit. It +is a Pleasure to Show Goods +and Tools Even if Your +Family Needs no Work +Done Just Yet + + +Outfits for mourners who have been bereaved on short notice a +specialty. We take orders for tombstones. Look at our +line of shrouds, robes, and black suits for either sex and +any age. Give us just one call, and you will entrust future +embalmings and obsequies in your family to no other firm. + + +WILCOX AND SIMMS +Main Street, Near Depot + + +The doctor, he reads it over careful and says she +orter drum up trade, all right. Looey tells us that +mebby, if he can get that town educated up to it, +he will put in a creamatory, where he will burn +them, too, but will go slow, fur that there sollum +and beautiful way of returning ash to ashes might +make some prejudice in such a religious town. + +The last we seen of Looey was a couple of days +later when we told him good-bye in his shop. Old +Mr. Wilcox was explaining to him the science of +them last looks he was so famous at when he was +a younger man. Young Mr. Wilcox was laying on +a table fur Looey to practise on, and Looey was +learning fast. But he nearly broke down when +he said good-bye, fur he liked the doctor. + +"Doc," he says, "you've been a good friend, +and I won't never forget you. They ain't much I +can do, and in this deceitful world words is less than +actions. But if you ever was to die within a hun- +dred miles of me, I'd go," he says, "and no other +hands but mine should lay you out. And it wouldn't +cost you a cent, either. Nor you neither, Danny." + +We thanked him kindly fur the offer, and +went. + +The next town we come to there was a county +fair, and the doctor run acrost an old pal of his'n +who had a show on the grounds and wanted to hire +him fur what he called a ballyhoo man. Which +was the first I ever hearn them called that, but I +got better acquainted with them since. They are +the fellers that stands out in front and gets you +all excited about the Siamese twins or the bearded +lady or the snake-charmer or the Circassian beauties +or whatever it is inside the tent, as represented +upon the canvas. The doctor says he will do it +fur a week, jest fur fun, and mebby pick up another +feller to take Looey's place out there. + +This feller's name is Watty Sanders, and his +wife is a fat lady in his own show and very good- +natured when not intoxicated nor mad at Watty. +She was billed on the curtains outside fur five hun- +dred and fifty pounds, and Watty says she really +does weigh nigh on to four hundred. But being +a fat lady's husband ain't no bed of rosy +ease at that, Watty tells the doctor. It's like +every other trade--it has its own pertic'ler +responsibilities and troubles. She is a turrible +expense to Watty on account of eating so much. +The tales that feller told of how hard he has to +hustle showing her off in order to support her +appetite would of drawed tears from a pawn- +broker's sign, as Doctor Kirby says. Which he +found it cheaper fur his hull show to board and +sleep in the tent, and we done likewise. + +Well, I got a job with that show myself. Watty +had a wild man canvas but no wild man, so he +made me an offer and I took him up. I was from +Borneo, where they're all supposed to be captured. +Jest as Doctor Kirby would get to his talk about +how the wild man had been ketched after great +struggle and expense, with four men killed and +another crippled, there would be an awful rumpus on +the inside of the tent, with wild howlings and the +sound of revolvers shot off and a woman screaming. +Then I would come busting out all blacked up from +head to heel with no more clothes on than the law +pervided fur, yipping loud and shaking a big spear +and rolling my eyes, and Watty would come rushing +after me firing his revolver. I would make fur +the doctor and draw my spear back to jab it clean +through him, and Watty would grab my arm. +And the doctor would whirl round and they would +wrastle me to the ground and I would be hand- +cuffed and dragged back into the tent, still howling +and struggling to break loose. On the inside my +part of the show was to be wild in a cage. I would +be chained to the floor, and every now and then +I would get wilder and rattle my chains and +shake the bars and make jumps at the crowd +and carry on, and make believe I was too mad +to eat the pieces of raw meat Watty throwed into +the cage. + +Watty had a snake-charmer woman, with an +awful long, bony kind of neck, working fur him, +and another feller that was her husband and eat +glass. The show opened up with them two doing +what they said was a comic turn. Then the fat +lady come on. Whilst everybody was admiring +her size, and looking at the number of pounds on +them big cheat scales Watty weighed her on, the +long-necked one would be changing to her snake +clothes. Which she only had one snake, and he +had been in the business so long, and was so kind +of worn out and tired with being charmed so much, +it always seemed like a pity to me the way she +would take and twist him around. I guess they +never was a snake was worked harder fur the little +bit he got to eat, nor got no sicker of a woman's +society than poor old Reginald did. After Regi- +nald had been charmed a while, it would be the +glass eater's turn. Which he really eat it, and the +doctor says that kind always dies before they is +fifty. I never knowed his right name, but what +he went by was The Human Ostrich. + +Watty's wife was awful jealous of Mrs. Ostrich, +fur she got the idea she was carrying on with Watty. +One night I hearn an argument from the fenced- +off part of the tent Watty and his wife slept in. +She was setting on Watty's chest and he was gasp- +ing fur mercy. + +"You know it ain't true," says Watty, kind of +smothered-like. + +"It is," says she, "you own up it is!" And she +give him a jounce. + +"No, darling," he gets out of him, "you know I +never could bear them thin, scrawny kind of women." +And he begins to call her pet names of all kinds and +beg her please, if she won't get off complete, to set +somewheres else a minute, fur his chest he can +feel giving way, and his ribs caving in. He called +her his plump little woman three or four times and +she must of softened up some, fur she moved and +his voice come stronger, but not less meek and +lowly. And he follers it up: + +"Dolly, darling," he says, "I bet I know something +my little woman don't know." + +"What is it?" the fat lady asts him. + +"You don't know what a cruel, weak stomach +your hubby has got," Watty says, awful coaxing +like, "or you wouldn't bear down quite so hard +onto it--please, Dolly!" + +She begins to blubber and say he is making fun +of her big size, and if he is mean to her any more +or ever looks at another woman agin she will take +anti-fat and fade away to nothing and ruin his show, +and it is awful hard to be made a joke of all her life +and not have no steady home nor nothing like +other women does. + +"You know I worship every pound of you," +little woman," says Watty, still coaxing. "Why +can't you trust me? You know, Dolly, darling, +I wouldn't take your weight in gold for you." +And he tells her they never was but once in all his +life he has so much as turned his head to look at +another woman, and that was by way of a plutonic +admiration, and no flirting intended, he says. +And even then it was before he had met his own +little woman. And that other woman, he says, +was plump too, fur he wouldn't never look at none +but a plump woman. + +"What did she weigh?" asts Watty's wife. He +tells her a measly little three hundred pound. + +"But she wasn't refined like my little woman," +says Watty, "and when I seen that I passed her +up." And inch by inch Watty coaxed her clean +off of him. + +But the next day she hearn him and Mrs. Ostrich +giggling about something, and she has a reg'lar +tantrum, and jest fur meanness goes out and falls +down on the race track, pertending she has fainted, +and they can't move her no ways, not even roll +her. But finally they rousted her out of that by +one of these here sprinkling carts backing up agin +her and turning loose. + +But aside from them occasional mean streaks +Dolly was real nice, and I kind of got to liking her. +She tells me that because she is so fat no one won't +take her serious like a human being, and she wisht +she was like other women and had a fambly. That +woman wanted a baby, too, and I bet she would +of been good to it, fur she was awful good to animals. +She had been big from a little girl, and never got +no sympathy when sick, nor nothing, and even +whilst she played with dolls as a kid she knowed +she looked ridiculous, and was laughed at. And +by jings!--they was the funniest thing come to +light before we left that crowd. That poor, derned, +old, fat fool HAD a doll yet, all hid away, and when +she was alone she used to take it out and cuddle it. +Well, Dolly never had many friends, and you +couldn't blame her much if she did drink a little +too much now and then, or get mad at Watty fur +his goings-on and kneel down on him whilst he was +asleep. Them was her only faults and I liked the +old girl. Yet I could see Watty had his troubles +too. + +That show busted up before the fair closed. Fur +one day Watty's wife gets mad at Mrs. Ostrich +and tries to set on her. And then Mrs. Ostrich +gets mad too, and sicks Reginald onto her. Watty's +wife is awful scared of Reginald, who don't really +have ambition enough to bite no one, let alone a lady +built so round everywhere he couldn't of got a +grip on her. And as fur as wrapping himself +around her and squashing her to death, Reginald +never seen the day he could reach that fur. Regi- +nald's feelings is plumb friendly toward Dolly +when he is turned loose, but she don't know that, +and she has some hysterics and faints in earnest +this time. Well, they was an awful hullaballo +when she come to, and fur the sake of peace in the +fambly Watty has to fire Mr. and Mrs. Ostrich +and poor old Reginald out of their jobs, and the +show is busted. So Doctor Kirby and me lit out +fur other parts agin. + + + + + +CHAPTER IX + + +We was jogging along one afternoon not fur +from a good-sized town at the top of Ohio, +right on the lake, when we run acrost +some remainders of a busted circus riding in a stake +and chain wagon. They was two fellers--both +jugglers, acrobats, and tumblers--and a balloon. +The circus had busted without paying them nothing +but promises fur months and months, and they had +took the team and wagon and balloon by attach- +ment, they said. They was carting her from the +little burg the show busted in to that good-sized +town on the lake. They would sell the team and +wagon there and get money enough to put an +advertisement in the Billboard, which is like a Bible +to them showmen, that they had a balloon to sell +and was at liberty. + +One of them was the slimmest, lightest-footed, +quickest feller you ever seen, with a big nose and +dark complected, and his name was Tobias. The +other was heavier and blonde complected. His +name was Dobbs, he said, and they was the Blanchet +Brothers. Doctor Kirby and them got real well +acquainted in about three minutes. We drove +on ahead and got into the town first. + +The doctor says that balloon is jest wasted on them +fellers. They can't go up in her, not knowing that +trade, but still they ought to be some way fur them +to make a little stake out of it before it was sold. + +The next evening we run acrost them fellers on the +street, and they was feeling purty blue. They +hadn't been able to sell that team and wagon, +which it was eating its meals reg'lar in a livery +stable, and they had been doing stunts in the street +that day and passing around the hat, but not +getting enough fur to pay expenses. + +"Where's the balloon?" asts the doctor. And +I seen he was sicking his intellects onto the job of +making her pay. + +"In the livery stable with the wagon," they tells +him. + +He says he is going to figger out a way to help +them boys. They is like all circus performers, he +says--they jest knows their own acts, and talks +about 'em all the time, and studies up ways to make +'em better, and has got no more idea of business +outside of that than a rabbit. We all went to the +livery stable and overhauled that balloon. It +was an awful job, too. But they wasn't a rip in +her, and the parachute was jest as good as new. + +"There's no reason why we can't give a show of +our own," says Doctor Kirby, "with you boys and +Danny and me and that balloon. What we want is a +lot with a high board fence around it, like a baseball +grounds, and the chance to tap a gas main." He +says he'll be willing to take a chancet on it, even +paying the gas company real money to fill her up. + +What the Doctor didn't know about starting +shows wasn't worth knowing. He had even went in +for the real drama in his younger days now and then. + +"One of my theatrical productions came very near +succeeding, too," he says. + +It was a play he says, in which the hero falls in +love with a pair of Siamese twins and commits suicide +because he can't make a choice between them. + +"We played it as comedy in the big towns and +tragedy in the little ones," he says. "But like a fool +I booked it for two weeks of middle-sized towns and +it broke us." + +The next day he finds a lot that will do jest fine. +It has been used fur a school playgrounds, but the +school has been moved and the old building is to +be tore down. He hired the place cheap. And +he goes and talks the gas company into giving him +credit to fill that balloon. Which I kept wondering +what was the use of filling her, fur none of the four +of us had ever went up in one. And when I seen +the handbills he had had printed I wondered all +the more. They read as follers: + + +Kirby's Komedy Kompany +and Open Air Circus + +Presenting a Peerless Personnel +of Artistic Attractions + +Greatest in the Galaxy of Gaiety, is + +Hartley L. Kirby + +Monologuist and minstrel, dancer and vaudevillian +in his terpsichorean travesties, buoyant burlesques, +inimitable imitations, screaming impersonations, refined +comedy sketches and popular song hits of the day. + + +The Blanchet Brothers + +Daring, Dazzling, Danger-Loving, Death-Defying Demons + +Joyous jugglers, acrobatic artists, constrictorial contortionists, +exquisite equilibrists, in their marvellous, mysterious, +unparalleled performances. + + +Umslopogus +The Patagonian Chieftain + +The lowest type of human intellect + +This formerly ferocious fiend has so far succumbed +to the softer wiles of civilization that he is no longer +a cannibal, and it is now safe to put him on exhibition. +But to prevent accidents he is heavily manacled, and the public +is warned not to come too near. + + +Balloon! Balloon!! Balloon!!! + +The management also presents the balloon of + +Prof. Alonzo Ackerman +The Famous Aeronaut + +in which he has made his + +Wonderful Ascension and Parachute Drop + +many times, reaching remarkable altitudes + +Balloon! Balloon!! Balloon!!! + +Saturday, 3 P. M. +Old Vandegrift School Lot + + +Admission 50 Cents + + + +Well, fur a writer he certainly laid over Looey, +Doctor Kirby did--more cheerful-like, you might +say. I seen right off I was to be the Patagonian +Chieftain. I was getting more and more of an +actor right along--first an Injun, then a wild +Borneo, and now a Patagonian. + +"But who is this Alonzo Ackerman?" I asts him. + +"Celebrated balloonist," says he, "and the man +that invented parachutes. They eat out of his hand." + +"Where is he?" asts I. + +"How should I know?" he says. + +"How is he going up, then?" I asts. + +The doctor chuckles and says it is a good bill, +a better bill than he thought; that it is getting in +its work already. He says to me to read it careful +and see if it says Alonzo Ackerman is going up. +Well, it don't. But any one would of thought so +the first look. I reckon that bill was some of a +liar herself, not lying outright, but jest hinting a +lie. They is a lot of mean, stingy-souled kind of +people wouldn't never lie to help a friend, but +Doctor Kirby wasn't one of 'em. + +"But," I says, "when that crowd finds out +Alonzo ain't going up they will be purty mad." + +"Oh," says he, "I don't think so. The American +public are a good-natured set of chuckle-heads, +mostly. If they get sore I'll talk 'em out of it." + +If he had any faults at all--and mind you, I +ain't saying Doctor Kirby had any--the one he +had hardest was the belief he could talk any crowd +into any notion, or out of it, either. And he loved +to do it jest fur the fun of it. He'd rather have +the feeling he was doing that than the money any +day. He was powerful vain about that gab of +his'n, Doctor Kirby was. + +The four of us took around about five thousand +bills. The doctor says they is nothing like giving +yourself a chancet. And Saturday morning we +got the balloon filled up so she showed handsome, +tugging away there at her ropes. But we had a +dern mean time with that balloon, too. + +The doctor says if we have good luck there may +be as many as three, four hundred people. + +But Jerusalem! They was two, three times that +many. By the time the show started I reckon they +was nigh a thousand there. The doctor and the +Blanchet Brothers was tickled. When they quit +coming fast the doctor left the gate and made a +little speech, telling all about the wonderful show, +and the great expense it was to get it together, and +all that. + +They was a rope stretched between the crowd +and us. Back of that was the Blanchet Brothers' +wagon and our wagon, and our little tent. I was +jest inside the tent with chains on. Back of every- +thing else was the balloon. + +Well, the doctor he done a lot of songs and things +as advertised. Then the Blanchet Brothers done +some of their acts. They was really fine acts, too. +Then come some more of Doctor Kirby's refined +comedy, as advertised. Next, more Blanchet. +Then a lecture about me by the doctor. All in all +it takes up about an hour and a half. Then the +doctor makes a mighty nice little talk, and wishes +them all good afternoon, thanking them fur their +kind intentions and liberal patronage, one and all. + +"But when will the balloon go up?" asts half +a dozen at oncet. + +"The balloon?" asts Doctor Kirby, surprised. + +"Balloon! Balloon!" yells a kid. And the hull +crowd took it up and yelled: "Balloon! Balloon! +Balloon!" And they crowded up closte to that +rope. + +Doctor Kirby has been getting off the wagon, +but he gets back on her, and stretches his arms +wide, and motions of 'em all to come close. + +"Ladies and gentlemen," he says, "please to +gather near--up here, good people--and listen! +Listen to what I have to say--harken to the utter- +ings of my voice! There has been a misunder- +standing here! There has been a misconstruction! +There has been, ladies and gentlemen, a woeful +lack of comprehension here!" + +It looked to me like they was beginning to under- +stand more than he meant them to. I was wonder- +ing how it would all come out, but he never lost +his nerve. + +"Listen," he says, very earnest, "listen to me. +Somehow the idea seems to have gone forth that +there would be a balloon ascension here this after- +noon. How, I do not know, for what we advertised, +ladies and gentlemen, was that the balloon used by +Prof. Alonzo Ackerman, the illustrious aeronaut, +would be UPON EXHIBITION. And there she is, ladies +and gentlemen, there she is, for every eye to see +and gladden with the sight of--right before you, +ladies and gentlemen--the balloon of Alonzo +Ackerman, the wonderful voyager of the air, +exactly as represented. During their long career +Kirby and Company have never deceived the pub- +lic. Others may, but Kirby and Company are +like Caesar's wife--Kirby and Company are above +suspicion. It is the province of Kirby's Komedy +Kompany, ladies and gentlemen, to spread the +glad tidings of innocent amusement throughout +the length and breadth of this fair land of ours. +And there she is before you, the balloon as adver- +tised, the gallant ship of the air in which the illus- +trious Ackerman made so many voyages before +he sailed at last into the Great Beyond! You can +see her, ladies and gentlemen, straining at her cords, +anxious to mount into the heavens and be gone! +It is an education in itself, ladies and gentlemen, +a moral education, and well worth coming miles +to see. Think of it--think of it--the Acker- +man balloon--and then think that the illustrious +Ackerman himself--he was my personal friend, +ladies and gentlemen, and a true friend sticketh +closer than a brother--the illustrious Ackerman +is dead. The balloon, ladies and gentlemen, is +there, but Ackerman is gone to his reward. Look +at that balloon, ladies and gentlemen, and tell me +if you can, why should the spirit of mortals be +proud? For the man that rode her like a master +and tamed her like she was a dove lies cold and +dead in a western graveyard, ladies and gentlemen, +and she is here, a useless and an idle vanity without +the mind that made her go!" + +Well, he went on and he told a funny story about +Alonzo, which I don't believe they ever was no +Alonzo Ackerman, and a lot of 'em laughed; and +he told a pitiful story, and they got sollum agin, +and then another funny story. Well, he had 'em +listening, and purty soon most of the crowd is +feeling in a good humour toward him, and one +feller yells out: + +"Go it--you're a hull show yourself!" And +some joshes him, but they don't seem to be no trouble +in the air. When they all look to be in a good +humour he holds up a bill and asts how many has +them. Many has. He says that is well, and then +he starts to telling another story. But in the +middle of the story that hull dern crowd is took +with a fit of laughing. They has looked at the +bill closet, and seen they is sold, and is taking it +good-natured. And still shouting and laughing +most of them begins to start along off. And I +thought all chancet of trouble was over with. +But it wasn't. + +Fur they is always a natcheral born kicker +everywhere, and they was one here, too. + +He was a lean feller with a sticking out jaw, and +one of his eyes was in a kind of a black pocket, and +he was jest natcherally laying it off to about a +dozen fellers that was in a little knot around him. + +The doctor sees the main part of the crowd +going and climbs down off'n the wagon. As he +does so that hull bunch of about a dozen moves +in under the rope, and some more that was going +out seen it, and stopped and come back. + +"Perfessor," says the man with the patch over +his eye to Doctor Kirby, "you say this man Acker- +man is dead?" + +"Yes," says the doctor, eying him over, "he's +dead." + +"How did he die?" asts the feller. + +"He died hard, I understand," says the doctor, +careless-like. + +"Fell out of his balloon?" + +"Yes." + +"This aeronaut trade is a dangerous trade, +I hear," says the feller with the patch on his +eye. + +"They say so," says Doctor Kirby, easy-like. + +"Was you ever an aeronaut yourself?" asts the +feller. + +"No," says the doctor. + +"Never been up in a balloon?" + +"No." + +"Well, you're going up in one this afternoon!" + +"What do you mean?" asts Doctor Kirby. + +"We've come out to see a balloon ascension-- +and we're going to see it, too." + +And with that the hull crowd made a rush at +the doctor. + +Well, I been in fights before that, and I been in +fights since then. But I never been in no harder +one. The doctor and the two Blanchet brothers +and me managed to get backed up agin the fence +in a row when the rush come. I guess I done my +share, and I guess the Blanchet brothers done theirn, +too. But they was too many of 'em for us--too +dern many. It wouldn't of ended as quick as it +did if Doctor Kirby hadn't gone clean crazy. +His back was to the fence, and he cleaned out +everything in front of him, and then he give a wild +roar jest like a bull and rushed that hull gang-- +twenty men, they was--with his head down. +He caught two fellers, one in each hand, and he +cracked their heads together, and he caught two +more, and done the same. But he orter never +took his back away from that fence. The hull +gang closed in on him, and down he went at the +bottom of a pile. I was awful busy myself, but +I seen that pile moving and churning. Then I +made a big mistake myself. I kicked a feller in +the stomach, and another feller caught my leg, +and down I went. Fur a half a minute I never +knowed nothing. And when I come to I was all +mashed about the face, and two fellers was sitting +on me. + +The crowd was tying Doctor Kirby to that +parachute. They straddled legs over the parachute +bar, and tied his feet below it. He was still fight- +ing, but they was too many fur him. They left +his arms untied, but they held 'em, and then-- + +Then they cut her loose. She went up like she +was shot from a gun, and as she did Doctor Kirby +took a grip on a feller's arm that hadn't let loose +quick enough and lifted him plumb off'n the ground. +He slewed around on the trapeze bar with the +feller's weight, and slipped head downward. And +as he slipped he give that feller a swing and let +loose of him, and then ketched himself by the +crook of one knee. The feller turned over twicet +in the air and landed in a little crumpled-up pile +on the ground, and never made a sound. + +The fellers that had holt of me forgot me and +stood up, and I stood up too, and looked. The +balloon was rising fast. Doctor Kirby was trying +to pull himself up to the trapeze bar, twisting and +squirming and having a hard time of it, and shoot- +ing higher every second. I reckoned he couldn't +fall complete, fur where his feet was tied would +likely hold even if his knee come straight--but +he would die mebby with his head filling up with +blood. But finally he made a squirm and raised +himself a lot and grabbed the rope at one side of +the bar. And then he reached and got the rope +on the other side, and set straddle of her. And +jest as he done that the wind ketched the balloon +good and hard, and she turned out toward Lake +Erie. It was too late fur him to pull the rope +that sets the parachute loose then, and drop onto +the land. + +I rushed out of that schoolhouse yard and down +the street toward the lake front, and run, stumbling +along and looking up. She was getting smaller +every minute. And with my head in the air look- +ing up I was running plumb to the edge of the +water before I knowed it. + +She was away out over the lake now, and awful +high, and going fast before the wind, and the doctor +was only a speck. And as I stared at that speck +away up in the sky I thought this was a mean world +to live in. Fur there was the only real friend I +ever had, and no way fur me to help him. He had +learnt me to read, and bought me good clothes, +and made me know they was things in the world +worth travelling around to see, and made me feel +like I was something more than jest Old Hank +Walters's dog. And I guessed he would be drownded +and I would never see him agin now. And all of +a sudden something busted loose inside of me, +and I sunk down there at the edge of the water, +sick at my stomach, and weak and shivering. + + + + + +CHAPTER X + + +I didn't exactly faint there, but things got +all mixed fur me, and when they was +straightened out agin I was in a hospital. +It seems I had been considerable stepped on in +that fight, and three ribs was broke. I knowed +I was hurting, but I was so interested in what was +happening to the doctor the hull hurt never come +to me till the balloon was way out over the lake. + +But now I was in a plaster cast, and before I +got out of that I was in a fever. I was some weeks +getting out of there. + +I tried to get some word of Doctor Kirby, but +couldn't. Nothing had been heard of him or the +balloon. The newspapers had had stuff about it +fur a day or two, and they guessed the body might +come to light sometime. But that was all. And +I didn't know where to hunt nor how. + +The hosses and wagon and tent and things worried +me some, too. They wasn't mine, and so I couldn't +sell 'em. And they wasn't no good to me without +Doctor Kirby. So I tells the man that owns the +livery stable to use the team fur its board and keep +it till Doctor Kirby calls fur it, and if he never does +mebby I will sometime. + +I didn't want to stay in that town or I could of +got a job in the livery stable. They offered me +one, but I hated that town. I wanted to light out. +I didn't much care where to. + +Them Blanchet Brothers had left a good share of +the money we took in at the balloon ascension with +the hospital people fur me before they cleared out. +But before I left that there town I seen they was +one thing I had to do to make myself easy in my +mind. So I done her. + +That was to hunt up that feller with his eye in +the patch. It took me a week to find him. He +lived down near some railroad yards. I might of +soaked him with a coupling link and felt a hull lot +better. But I didn't guess it would do to pet and +pamper my feelings too much. So I does it with +my fists in a quiet place, and does it very complete, +and leaves that town in a cattle car, feeling a hull +lot more contented in my mind. + +Then they was a hull dern year I didn't stay +nowhere very long, nor work at any one job too +long, neither. I jest worked from place to place +seeing things--big towns and rivers and moun- +tains. Working here and there, and loafing and +riding blind baggages and freight trains between +jobs, I covered a lot of ground that year, and made +some purty big jumps, and got acquainted with +some awful queer folks, first and last. + +But the worst of that is lots of people gets to +thinking I am a hobo. Even one or two judges +in police courts I got acquainted with had that +there idea of me. I always explains that I am not +one, and am jest travelling around to see things, +and working when I feels like it, and ain't no bum. +But frequent I am not believed. And two, three +different times I gets to the place where I couldn't +hardly of told myself from a hobo, if I hadn't of +knowed I wasn't one. + +I got right well acquainted with some of them +hobos, too. As fur as I can see, they is as much +difference in them as in other humans. Some +travels because they likes to see things, and some +because they hates to work, and some because +they is in the habit and can't stop it. Well, I +know myself it's purty hard after while to stop it, +fur where would you stop at? What excuse is +they to stop one place more'n another? I met all +kinds of 'em, and oncet I got in fur a week with a +couple of real Johnny Yeggs that is both in the +pen now. I hearn a feller say one time there is +some good in every man. I went the same way as +them two yeggmen a hull dern week to try and +find out where the good in 'em was. I guess they +must be some mistake somewheres, fur I looked +hard and I watched closet and I never found it. +They is many kinds of hobos and tramps, per- +fessional and amachure, and lots of kinds of bums, +and lots of young fellers working their way around +to see things, like I was, and lots of working men in +hard luck going from place to place, and all them +kinds is humans. But the real yeggman ain't +even a dog. + +And oncet I went all the way from Chicago to +Baltimore with a serious, dern fool that said he was +a soshyologest, whatever them is, and was going +to put her all into a book about the criminal classes. +He worked hard trying to get at the reason I was +a hobo. Which they wasn't no reason, fur I wasn't +no hobo. But I didn't want to disappoint that +feller and spoil his book fur him. So I tells him +things. Things not overly truthful, but very +full of crime. About a year afterward I was into +one of these here Andrew Carnegie lib'aries with +the names of the old-time presidents all chiselled +along the top and I seen the hull dern thing in print. +He said of me the same thing I have said about +them yeggmen. If all he met joshed that feller +the same as me, that book must of been what you +might call misleading in spots. + +One morning I woke up in a good-sized town in +Illinoise, not a hundred miles from where I was +raised, without no money, and my clothes not much +to look at, and no job. I had been with a railroad +show fur about two weeks, driving stakes and other +rough work, and it had went off and left me sleeping +on the ground. circuses never waits fur nothing +nor cares a dern fur no one. I tried all day +around town fur to get some kind of a job. +But I was looking purty rough and I couldn't +land nothing. Along in the afternoon I was awful +hungry. + +I was feeling purty low down to have to ast fur +a meal, but finally I done it. + +I dunno how I ever come to pick out such a swell- +looking house, but I makes a little talk at the back +door and the Irish girl she says, "Come in," and +into the kitchen I goes. + +"It's Minnesota you're working toward?" asts +she, pouring me out a cup of coffee. + +She is thinking of the wheat harvest where they +is thousands makes fur every fall. But none of +'em fur me. That there country is full of them +Scandiluvian Swedes and Norwegians, and they +gets into the field before daylight and stays there +so long the hired man's got to milk the cows by +moonlight. + +"I been acrost the river into I'way," I says, +"a-working at my trade, and now I'm going back +to Chicago to work at it some more." + +"What might your trade be?" she asts, sizing +me up careful; and I thinks I'll hand her one to +chew on she ain't never hearn tell of before. + +"I'm a agnostic by trade," I says. I spotted +that there word in a religious book one time, and +that's the first chancet I ever has to try it on any one. +You can't never tell what them reg'lar sockdologers +is going to do till you tries them. + +"I see," says she. But I seen she didn't see. +And I didn't help her none. She would of ruther +died than to let on she didn't see. The Irish is +like that. Purty soon she says: + +"Ain't that the dangerous kind o' work, though!" + +"It is," I says. And says nothing further. + +She sets down and folds her arms, like she was +thinking of it, watching my hands closet all the +time I was eating, like she's looking fur scars where +something slipped when I done that agnostic work. +Purty soon she says: + +"Me brother Michael was kilt at it in the old +country. He was the most vinturesome lad of +thim all!" + +"Did it fly up and hit him?" I asts her. I +was wondering w'ether she is making fun of me or +am I making fun of her. Them Irish is like that, +you can never tell which. + +"No," says she, "he fell off of it. And I'm think- +ing you don't know what it is yourself." And the +next thing I know I'm eased out o' the back door +and she's grinning at me scornful through the +crack of it. + +So I was walking slow around toward the front +of the house thinking how the Irish was a great +nation, and what shall I do now, anyhow? And +I says to myself: "Danny, you was a fool to let +that circus walk off and leave you asleep in this +here town with nothing over you but a barbed wire +fence this morning. Fur what ARE you going to do +next? First thing you know, you WILL be a reg'lar +tramp, which some folks can't be made to see you +ain't now." And jest when I was thinking that, a +feller comes down the front steps of that house on +the jump and nabs me by the coat collar. + +"Did you come out of this house?" he +asts. + +"I did," I says, wondering what next. + +"Back in you go, then," he says, marching me +forward toward them front steps, "they've got +smallpox in there." + +I like to of jumped loose when he says that. + +"Smallpox ain't no inducement to me, mister," +I tells him. But he twisted my coat collar tight +and dug his thumbs into my neck, all the time +helping me onward with his knee from behind, +and I seen they wasn't no use pulling back. I +could probable of licked that man, but they's +no system in mixing up with them well-dressed men +in towns where they think you are a tramp. The +judge will give you the worst of it. + +He rung the door bell and the girl that opened +the door she looked kind o' surprised when she +seen me, and in we went. + +"Tell Professor Booth that Doctor Wilkins +wants to see him again," says the man a-holt o' +me, not letting loose none. And we says nothing +further till the perfessor comes, which he does, +slow and absent-minded. When he seen me he +took off his glasses so's he could see me better, and +he says: + +"What is that you have there, Doctor +Wilkins?" + +"A guest for you," says Doctor Wilkins, grinning +all over hisself. "I found him leaving your house. +And you being under quarantine, and me being +secretary to the board of health, and the city +pest-house being crowded too full already, I'll +have to ask you to keep him here till we get Miss +Margery onto her feet again," he says. Or they +was words to that effect, as the lawyers asts you. + +"Dear me," says Perfesser Booth, kind o' help- +less like. And he comes over closet to me and looks +me all over like I was one of them amphimissourian +lizards in a free museum. And then he goes to +the foot of the stairs and sings out in a voice that +was so bleached-out and flat-chested it would of +looked jest like him himself if you could of saw it-- +"Estelle," he sings out, "oh, Estelle!" + +Estelle, she come down stairs looking like she was +the perfessor's big brother. I found out later she +was his old maid sister. She wasn't no spring +chicken, Estelle wasn't, and they was a continuous +grin on her face. I figgered it must of froze there +years and years ago. They was a kid about ten +or eleven years old come along down with her, +that had hair down to its shoulders and didn't +look like it knowed whether it was a girl or a boy. +Miss Estelle, she looks me over in a way that makes +me shiver, while the doctor and the perfessor jaws +about whose fault it is the smallpox sign ain't been +hung out. And when she was done listening she +says to the perfessor: "You had better go back +to your laboratory." And the perfessor he went +along out, and the doctor with him. + +"What are you going to do with him, Aunt +Estelle?" the kid asts her. + +"What would YOU suggest, William, Dear?" asts +his aunt. I ain't feeling very comfortable, and I +was getting all ready jest to natcherally bolt out +the front door now the doctor was gone. Then I +thinks it mightn't be no bad place to stay in fur a +couple o' days, even risking the smallpox. Fur +I had riccolected I couldn't ketch it nohow, having +been vaccinated a few months before in Terry +Hutt by compulsive medical advice, me being fur +a while doing some work on the city pavements +through a mistake about me in the police court. + +William Dear looks at me like it was the day of +judgment and his job was to keep the fatted calves +separate from the goats and prodigals, and he says: + +"If I were you, Aunt Estelle, the first thing would +be to get his hair cut and his face washed and then +get him some clothes." + +"William Dear is my friend," thinks I. + +She calls James, which was a butler. James, +he buttles me into a bathroom the like o' which +I never seen afore, and then he buttles me into a +suit o' somebody's clothes and into a room at the +top o' the house next to his'n, and then he comes +back and buttles a comb and brush at me. James +was the most mournful-looking fat man I ever +seen, and he says that account of me not being +respectable I will have my meals alone in the kitchen +after the servants has eat. + +The first thing I knowed I been in that house +more'n a week. I eat and I slept and I smoked +and I kind of enjoyed not worrying about things +fur a while. The only oncomfortable thing about +being the perfessor's guest was Miss Estelle. Soon's +she found out I was a agnostic she took charge o' +my intellectuals and what went into 'em, and she +makes me read things and asts me about 'em, and +she says she is going fur to reform me. And what- +ever brand o' disgrace them there agnostics really +is I ain't found out to this day, having come acrost +the word accidental. + +Biddy Malone, which was the kitchen mechanic, +she says the perfessor's wife's been over to her +mother's while this smallpox has been going on, +and they is a nurse in the house looking after Miss +Margery, the little kid that's sick. And Biddy, +she says if she was Mrs. Booth she'd stay there, +too. They's been some talk, anyhow, about Mrs. +Booth and a musician feller around that there +town. But Biddy, she likes Mrs. Booth, and even +if it was true, which it ain't Biddy says, who could +of blamed her? Fur things ain't joyous around +that house the last year, since Miss Estelle's come +there to live. The perfessor, he's so full of scien- +tifics he don't know nothing with no sense to it, +Biddy says. He's got more money'n you can shake +a stick at, and he don't have to do no work, nor +never has, and his scientifics gets worse and worse +every year. But while scientifics is worrying to +the nerves of a fambly, and while his labertory +often makes the house smell like a sick drug store +has crawled into it and died there, they wouldn't +of been no serious row on between the perfessor +and his wife, not ALL the time, if it hadn't of been +fur Miss Estelle. She has jest natcherally made +herself boss of that there house, Biddy says, and +she's a she-devil. Between all them scientifics +and Miss Estelle things has got where Mrs. Booth +can't stand 'em much longer. + +I didn't blame her none fur getting sore on her +job, neither. You can't expect a woman that's +purty, and knows it, and ain't no more'n thirty-two +or three, and don't look it, to be serious intrusted +in mummies and pickled snakes and chemical +perfusions, not ALL the time. Mebby when Mrs. +Booth would ast him if he was going to take her +to the opery that night the perfessor would look +up in an absent-minded sort of way and ast her +did she know them Germans had invented a new +germ? It wouldn't of been so bad if the perfessor +had picked out jest one brand of scientifics and +stuck to that reg'lar. Mrs. Booth could of got +use to any ONE kind. But mebby this week the +perfessor would be took hard with ornithography +and he'd go chasing humming-birds all over the +front yard, and the next he'd be putting gastronomy +into William's breakfast feed. + +They was always a row on over them kids, which +they hadn't been till Miss Estelle come. Mrs. +Booth, she said they could kill their own selves, +if they wanted to, him and Miss Estelle, but she +had more right than any one else to say what went +into William's and Margery's digestive ornaments, +and she didn't want 'em brung up scientific nohow, +but jest human. But Miss Estelle's got so she +runs that hull house now, and the perfessor too, +but he don't know it, Biddy says, and her a-saying +every now and then it was too bad Frederick couldn't +of married a noble woman who would of took a +serious intrust in his work. The kids don't hardly +dare to kiss their ma in front of Miss Estelle no +more, on account of germs and things. And with +Miss Estelle taking care of their religious organs and +their intellectuals and the things like that, and the +perfessor filling them up on new invented feeds, I +guess they never was two kids got more education +to the square inch, outside and in. It hadn't +worked none on Miss Margery yet, her being +younger, but William Dear he took it hard and +serious, and it made bumps all over his head, and +he was kind o' pale and spindly. Every time +that kid cut his finger he jest natcherally bled +scientifics. One day I says to Miss Estelle, +says I: + +"It looks to me like William Dear is kind of +peaked." She looks worried and she looks mad +fur me lipping in, and then she says mebby it is +true, but she don't see why, because he is being +brung up like he orter be in every way and no ex- +pense nor trouble spared. + +"Well," says I, "what a kid about that size +wants to do is to get out and roll around in the dirt +some, and yell and holler." + +She sniffs like I wasn't worth taking no notice +of. But it kind o' soaked in, too. She and the +perfessor must of talked it over. Fur the next +day I seen her spreading a oilcloth on the hall +floor. And then James comes a buttling in with +a lot of sand what the perfessor has baked and +made all scientific down in his labertory. James, +he pours all that nice, clean dirt onto the oilcloth +and then Miss Estelle sends fur William Dear. + +"William Dear," she says, "we have decided, +your papa and I, that what you need is more romp- +ing around and playing along with your studies. +You ought to get closer to the soil and to nature, +as is more healthy for a youth of your age. So for +an hour each day, between your studies, you will +romp and play in this sand. You may begin to +frolic now, William Dear, and then James will +sweep up the dirt again for to-morrow's frolic." + +But William didn't frolic none. He jest looked +at that dirt in a sad kind o' way, and he says very +serious but very decided: + +"Aunt Estelle, I shall NOT frolic." And they had +to let it go at that, fur he never would frolic none, +neither. And all that nice clean dirt was throwed +out in the back yard along with the unscientific +dirt. + + + + + +CHAPTER XI + + +One night when I've been there more'n a +week, and am getting kind o' tired staying +in one place so long, I don't want to go to +bed after I eats, and I gets a-holt of some of the +perfessor's cigars and goes into the lib'ary to see +if he's got anything fit to read. Setting there +thinking of the awful remarkable people they is +in this world I must of went to sleep. Purty soon, +in my sleep, I hearn two voices. Then I waked +up sudden, and still hearn 'em, low and quick- +like, in the room that opens right off of the lib'ary +with a couple of them sliding doors like is onto a +box car. One voice was a woman's voice, and it +wasn't Miss Estelle's. + +"But I MUST see them before we go, Henry," +she says. + +And the other was a man's voice and it wasn't +no one around our house. + +"But, my God," he says, "suppose you get it +yourself, Jane!" + +I set up straight then, fur Jane was the perfessor's +wife's first name. + +"You mean suppose YOU get it," she says. I +like to of seen the look she must of give him to +fit in with the way she says that YOU. He didn't +say nothing, the man didn't; and then her voice +softens down some, and she says, low and slow: +"Henry, wouldn't you love me if I DID get it? +Suppose it marked and pitted me all up?" + +"Oh, of course," he says, "of course I would. +Nothing can change the way I feel. YOU know +that." He said it quick enough, all right, jest the +way they does in a show, but it sounded TOO MUCH +like it does on the stage to of suited me if _I_'D been +her. I seen folks overdo them little talks before +this. + +I listens some more, and then I sees how it is. +This is that musician feller Biddy Malone's been +talking about. Jane's going to run off with him +all right, but she's got to kiss the kids first. Women +is like that. They may hate the kids' pa all +right, but they's dad-burned few of 'em don't like +the kids. I thinks to myself: "It must be late. +I bet they was already started, or ready to start, +and she made him bring her here first so's she could +sneak in and see the kids. She jest simply couldn't +get by. But she's taking a fool risk, too. Fur +how's she going to see Margery with that nurse +coming and going and hanging around all night? +And even if she tries jest to see William Dear it's +a ten to one shot he'll wake up and she'll be ketched +at it." + +And then I thinks, suppose she IS ketched at it? +What of it? Ain't a woman got a right to come into +her own house with her own door key, even if they +is a quarantine onto it, and see her kids? And +if she is ketched seeing them, how would any one +know she was going to run off? And ain't she got +a right to have a friend of hern and her husband's +bring her over from her mother's house, even if it +is a little late? + +Then I seen she wasn't taking no great risks +neither, and I thinks mebby I better go and tell +that perfessor what is going on, fur he has treated +me purty white. And then I thinks: "I'll be +gosh-derned if I meddle. So fur as I can see that +there perfessor ain't getting fur from what's coming +to him, nohow. And as fur HER, you got to let +some people find out what they want fur their- +selves. Anyhow, where do _I_ come in at?" + +But I want to get a look at her and Henry, +anyhow. So I eases off my shoes, careful-like, and +I eases acrost the floor to them sliding doors, and +I puts my eye down to the little crack. The talk +is going backward and forward between them two, +him wanting her to come away quick, and her +undecided whether to risk seeing the kids. And +all the time she's kind o' hoping mebby she will +be ketched if she tries to see the kids, and she's +begging off fur more time ginerally. + +Well, sir, I didn't blame that musician feller none +when I seen her. She was a peach. + +And I couldn't blame her so much, neither, when +I thought of Miss Estelle and all them scientifics of +the perfessor's strung out fur years and years world +without end. + +Yet, when I seen the man, I sort o' wished she +wouldn't. I seen right off that Henry wouldn't +do. It takes a man with a lot of gumption to keep +a woman feeling good and not sorry fur doing it +when he's married to her. But it takes a man +with twicet as much to make her feel right when +they ain't married. This feller wears one of them +little, brown, pointed beards fur to hide where +his chin ain't. And his eyes is too much like a +woman's. Which is the kind that gets the biggest +piece of pie at the lunch counter and fergits to +thank the girl as cuts it big. She was setting in +front of a table, twisting her fingers together, and +he was walking up and down. I seen he was mad +and trying not to show it, and I seen he was scared +of the smallpox and trying not to show that, too. +And jest about that time something happened that +kind o' jolted me. + +They was one of them big chairs in the room +where they was that has got a high back and spins +around on itself. It was right acrost from me, on +the other side of the room, and it was facing the +front window, which was a bow window. And +that there chair begins to turn, slow and easy. +First I thought she wasn't turning. Then I seen +she was. But Jane and Henry didn't. They was +all took up with each other in the middle of the +room, with their backs to it. + +Henry is a-begging of Jane, and she turns a little +more, that chair does. Will she squeak, I +wonders? + +"Don't you be a fool, Jane," says the Henry +feller. + +Around she comes three hull inches, that there +chair, and nary a squeak. + +"A fool?" asts Jane, and laughs. "And I'm +not a fool to think of going with you at +all, then?" + +That chair, she moved six inches more and I +seen the calf of a leg and part of a crumpled-up +coat tail. + +"But I AM going with you, Henry," says Jane. +And she gets up jest like she is going to put her +arms around him. + +But Jane don't. Fur that chair swings clear +around and there sets the perfessor. He's all +hunched up and caved in and he's rubbing his +eyes like he's jest woke up recent, and he's got a +grin onto his face that makes him look like his +sister Estelle looks all the time. + +"Excuse me," says the perfessor. + +They both swings around and faces him. I can +hear my heart bumping. Jane never says a word. +The man with the brown beard never says a word. +But if they felt like me they both felt like laying +right down there and having a fit. They looks at +him and he jest sets there and grins at them. + +But after a while Jane, she says: + +"Well, now you KNOW! What are you going to +do about it?" + +Henry, he starts to say something too. But-- + +"Don't start anything," says the perfessor to +him. "YOU aren't going to do anything." Or +they was words to that effect. + +"Professor Booth," he says, seeing he has got +to say something or else Jane will think the worse +of him, "I am--" + +"Keep still," says the perfessor, real quiet. "I'll +tend to you in a minute or two. YOU don't count +for much. This thing is mostly between me and +my wife." + +When he talks so decided I thinks mebby that +perfessor has got something into him besides +science after all. Jane, she looks kind o' surprised +herself. But she says nothing, except: + +"What are you going to do, Frederick?" And +she laughs one of them mean kind of laughs, and +looks at Henry like she wanted him to spunk up a +little more, and says: "What CAN you do, Fred- +erick?" + +Frederick, he says, not excited a bit: + +"There's quite a number of things I COULD do +that would look bad when they got into the news- +papers. But it's none of them, unless one of you +forces me to it." Then he says: + +"You DID want to see the children, Jane?" + +She nodded. + +"Jane," he says, "can't you see I'm the better +man?" + +The perfessor, he was woke up after all them +years of scientifics, and he didn't want to see her +go. "Look at him," he says, pointing to the feller +with the brown beard, "he's scared stiff right now." + +Which I would of been scared myself if I'd a-been +ketched that-a-way like Henry was, and the per- +fessor's voice sounding like you was chopping +ice every time he spoke. I seen the perfessor +didn't want to have no blood on the carpet without +he had to have it, but I seen he was making up his +mind about something, too. Jane, she says: + +"YOU a better man? YOU? You think you've +been a model husband just because you've never +beaten me, don't you?" + +"No," says the perfessor, "I've been a blamed +fool all right. I've been a worse fool, maybe, +than if I HAD beaten you." Then he turns to +Henry and he says: + +"Duels are out of fashion, aren't they? And a +plain killing looks bad in the papers, doesn't it? +Well, you just wait for me." With which he gets +up and trots out, and I hearn him running down +stairs to his labertory. + +Henry, he'd ruther go now. He don't want to +wait. But with Jane a-looking at him he's shamed +not to wait. It's his place to make some kind of a +strong action now to show Jane he is a great man. +But he don't do it. And Jane is too much of a +thoroughbred to show him she expects it. And me, +I'm getting the fidgets and wondering to myself, +"What is that there perfessor up to now? What- +ever it is, it ain't like no one else. He is looney, +that perfessor is. And she is kind o' looney, too. +I wonder if they is any one that ain't looney some- +times?" I been around the country a good 'eal, +too, and seen and hearn of some awful remarkable +things, and I never seen no one that wasn't more or +less looney when the SEARCH US THE FEMM comes into +the case. Which is a Dago word I got out'n a +newspaper and it means: "Who was the dead +gent's lady friend?" And we all set and sweat +and got the fidgets waiting fur that perfessor to +come back. + +Which he done with that Sister Estelle grin onto +his face and a pill box in his hand. They +was two pills in the box. He says, placid and +chilly: + +"Yes, sir, duels are out of fashion. This is the +age of science. All the same, the one that gets +her has got to fight for her. If she isn't worth +fighting for, she isn't worth having. Here are +two pills. I made 'em myself. One has enough +poison in it to kill a regiment when it gets to working +well--which it does fifteen minutes after it is +taken. The other one has got nothing harmful +in it. If you get the poison one, I keep her. If I +get it, you can have her. Only I hope you will +wait long enough after I'm dead so there won't +be any scandal around town." + +Henry, he never said a word. He opened his +mouth, but nothing come of it. When he done +that I thought I hearn his tongue scrape agin his +cheek on the inside like a piece of sand-paper. +He was scared, Henry was. + +"But YOU know which is which," Jane sings out. +"The thing's not fair!" + +"That is the reason my dear Jane is going to +shuffle these pills around each other herself," says +the perfessor, "and then pick out one for him and +one for me. YOU don't know which is which, +Jane. And as he is the favourite, he is going to +get the first chance. If he gets the one I want +him to get, he will have just fifteen minutes to live +after taking it. In that fifteen minutes he will +please to walk so far from my house that he won't +die near it and make a scandal. I won't have a +scandal without I have to. Everything is going +to be nice and quiet and respectable. The effect +of the poison is similar to heart failure. No one +can tell the difference on the corpse. There's +going to be no blood anywhere. I will be found +dead in my house in the morning with heart failure, +or else he will be picked up dead in the street, far +enough away so as to make no talk." Or they was +words to that effect. + +He is rubbing it in considerable, I thinks, that +perfessor is. I wonder if I better jump in and stop +the hull thing. Then I thinks: "No, it's between +them three." Besides, I want to see which one is +going to get that there loaded pill. I always been +intrusted in games of chancet of all kinds, and +when I seen the perfessor was such a sport, I'm +sorry I been misjudging him all this time. + +Jane, she looks at the box, and she breathes hard +and quick. + +"I won't touch 'em," she says. "I refuse to be +a party to any murder of that kind." + +"Huh? You do?" says the perfessor. "But +the time when you might have refused has gone by. +You have made yourself a party to it already. +You're really the MAIN party to it. + +"But do as you like," he goes on. "I'm giving +him more chance than I ought to with those pills. +I might shoot him, and I would, and then face the +music, if it wasn't for mixing the children up in +the scandal, Jane. If you want to see him get a +fair chance, Jane, you've got to hand out these +pills, one to him and then one to me. YOU must +kill one or the other of us, or else _I_'LL kill HIM the +other way. And YOU had better pick one out for +him, because _I_ know which is which. Or else let +him pick one out for himself," he says. + +Henry, he wasn't saying nothing. I thought +he had fainted. But he hadn't. I seen him licking +his lips. I bet Henry's mouth was all dry inside. + +Jane, she took the box and she went round in +front of Henry and she looked at him hard. She +looked at him like she was thinking: "Fur God's +sake, spunk up some, and take one if it DOES kill +you!" Then she says out loud: "Henry, if you +die I will die, too!" + +And Henry, he took one. His hand shook, but +he took it out'n the box. If she had of looked like +that at me mebby I would of took one myself. +Fur Jane, she was a peach, she was. But I don't +know whether I would of or not. When she makes +that brag about dying, I looked at the perfessor. +What she said never fazed him. And I thinks agin: +"Mebby I better jump in now and stop this thing." +And then I thinks agin: "No, it is between them +three and Providence." Besides, I'm anxious to +see who is going to get that pill with the science +in it. I gets to feeling jest like Providence hisself +was in that there room picking out them pills with +his own hands. And I was anxious to see what +Providence's ideas of right and wrong was like. +So fur as I could see they was all three in the wrong, +but if I had of been in there running them pills in +Providence's place I would of let them all off kind +o' easy. + +Henry, he ain't eat his pill yet. He is jest looking +at it and shaking. The perfessor pulls out his +watch and lays it on the table. + +"It is a quarter past eleven," he says. "Mr. +Murray, are you going to make me shoot you, +after all? I didn't want a scandal," he says. +"It's for you to say whether you want to eat that +pill and get your even chance, or whether you want +to get shot. The shooting method is sure, but it +causes talk. These pills won't. WHICH?" + +And he pulls a revolver. Which I suppose he +had got that too when he went down after them +pills. + +Henry, he looks at the gun. + +Then he looks at the pill. + +Then he swallers the pill. + +The perfessor puts his gun back into his pocket, +and then he puts his pill into his mouth. He don't +swaller it. He looks at the watch, and he looks at +Henry. + +"Sixteen minutes past eleven," he says. "AT +EXACTLY TWENTY-NINE MINUTES TO TWELVE MR. MURRAY +WILL BE DEAD. I got the harmless one. I can tell +by the taste." + +And he put the pieces out into his hand, to show +that he has chewed his'n up, not being willing to +wait fifteen minutes fur a verdict from his digestive +ornaments. Then he put them pieces back into +his mouth and chewed 'em up and swallered 'em +down like he was eating cough drops. + +Henry has got sweat breaking out all over his +face, and he tries to make fur the door, but he falls +down onto a sofa. + +"This is murder," he says, weak-like. And he +tries to get up again, but this time he falls to the floor +in a dead faint. + +"It's a dern short fifteen minutes," I thinks to +myself. "That perfessor must of put more science +into Henry's pill than he thought he did fur it to +of knocked him out this quick. It ain't skeercly +three minutes." + +When Henry falls the woman staggers and tries +to throw herself on top of him. The corners of +her mouth was all drawed down, and her eyes was +turned up. But she don't yell none. She can't. +She tries, but she jest gurgles in her throat. The +perfessor won't let her fall acrost Henry. He +ketches her. "Sit up, Jane," he says, with that +Estelle look onto his face, "and let us have a talk." + +She looks at him with no more sense in her face +than a piece of putty has got. But she can't look +away from him. + +And I'm kind o' paralyzed, too. If that feller +laying on the floor had only jest kicked oncet, or +grunted, or done something, I could of loosened +up and yelled, and I would of. I jest NEEDED to +fetch a yell. But Henry ain't more'n dropped down +there till I'm feeling jest like he'd ALWAYS been +there, and I'd ALWAYS been staring into that room, +and the last word any one spoke was said hundreds +and hundreds of years ago. + +"You're a murderer," says Jane in a whisper, +looking at the perfessor in that stare-eyed way. +"You're a MURDERER," she says, saying it like she +was trying to make herself feel sure he really was +one. + +"Murder!" says the perfessor. "Did you think +I was going to run any chances for a pup like him? +He's scared, that's all. He's just fainted through +fright. He's a coward. Those pills were both +just bread and sugar. He'll be all right in a minute +or two. I've just been showing you that the fellow +hasn't got nerve enough nor brains enough for +a fine woman like you, Jane," he says. + +Then Jane begins to sob and laugh, both to oncet, +kind o' wild like, her voice clucking like a hen +does, and she says: + +"It's worse then, it's worse! It's worse for me +than if it were a murder! Some farces can be more +tragic than any tragedy ever was," she says. Or +they was words to that effect. + +And if Henry had of been really dead she couldn't +of took it no harder than she begun to take it now +when she saw he was alive, but jest wasn't no good. +But I seen she was taking on fur herself now more'n +fur Henry. Doctor Kirby always use to say women +is made unlike most other animals in many ways. +When they is foolish about a man they can stand +to have that man killed a good 'eal better than to +have him showed up ridiculous right in front of +them. They will still be crazy about the man that +is dead, even if he was crooked. But they don't +never forgive the fellow that lets himself be made a +fool and lets them look foolish, too. And when +the perfessor kicks Henry in the ribs, and Henry +comes to and sneaks out, Jane, she never even turns +her head and looks at him. + +"Jane," says the perfessor, when she quiets +down some, "you have a lot o' things to forgive +me. But do you suppose I have learned enough +so that we can make a go of it if we start all over +again?" + +But Jane she never said nothing. + +"Jane," he says, "Estelle is going back to New +England, as soon as Margery gets well, and she will +stay there for good." + +Jane, she begins to take a little intrust then. + +"Did Estelle tell you so?" she asts. + +"No," says the perfessor. "Estelle doesn't know +it yet. I'm going to break the news to her in the +morning." + +But Jane still hates him. She's making herself +hate him hard. She wouldn't of been a human +woman if she had let herself be coaxed up all to +oncet. Purty soon she says: "I'm tired." And +she went out looking like the perfessor was a perfect +stranger. She was a peace, Jane was. + +After she left, the perfessor set there quite a spell +and smoked. And he was looking tired out, too. +They wasn't no mistake about me. I was jest +dead all through my legs. + + + + + +CHAPTER XII + + +I was down in the perfessor's labertory one day, +and that was a queer place. They was every +kind of scientifics that has ever been dis- +covered in it. Some was pickled in bottles and some +was stuffed and some was pinned to the walls with +their wings spread out. If you took hold of anything, +it was likely to be a skull and give you the shivers or +some electric contraption and shock you; and if you +tipped over a jar and it broke, enough germs might +get loose to slaughter a hull town. I was helping the +perfessor to unpack a lot of stuff some friends had sent +him, and I noticed a bottle that had onto it, blowed +in the glass: + + +DANIEL, DUNNE AND COMPANY + + + +"That's funny," says I, out loud. + +"What is?" asts the perfessor. + +I showed him the bottle and told him how I was +named after the company that made 'em. He +says to look around me. They is all kinds of glass- +ware in that room--bottles and jars and queer- +shaped things with crooked tails and noses--and +nigh every piece of glass the perfessor owns is made +by that company. + +"Why," says the perfessor, "their factory is in +this very town." + +And nothing would do fur me but I must go and +see that factory. I couldn't till the quarantine was +pried loose from our house. But when it was, I +went down town and hunted up the place and looked +her over. + +It was a big factory, and I was kind of proud of +that. I was glad she wasn't no measly, little, old- +fashioned, run-down concern. Of course, I wasn't +really no relation to it and it wasn't none to me. +But I was named fur it, too, and it come about as +near to being a fambly as anything I had ever had +or was likely to find. So I was proud it seemed to +be doing so well. + +I thinks as I looks at her of the thousands and +thousands of bottles that has been coming +out of there fur years and years, and will be fur +years and years to come. And one bottle not so +much different from another one. And all that was +really knowed about me was jest the name on one +out of all them millions and millions of bottles. It +made me feel kind of queer, when I thought of that, +as if I didn't have no separate place in the world any +more than one of them millions of bottles. If any +one will shut his eyes and say his own name over +and over agin fur quite a spell, he will get kind of +wonderized and mesmerized a-doing it--he will +begin to wonder who the dickens he is, anyhow, and +what he is, and what the difference between him +and the next feller is. He will wonder why he +happens to be himself and the next feller HIMSELF. +He wonders where himself leaves off and the rest +of the world begins. I been that way myself--all +wonderized, so that I felt jest like I was a melting +piece of the hull creation, and it was all shifting and +drifting and changing and flowing, and not solid +anywhere, and I could hardly keep myself from +flowing into it. It makes a person feel awful queer, +like seeing a ghost would. It makes him feel like +HE wasn't no solider than a ghost himself. Well, +if you ever done that and got that feeling, you KNOW +what I mean. All of a sudden, when I am trying +to take in all them millions and millions of bottles, +it rushed onto me, that feeling, strong. Thinking +of them bottles had somehow brung it on. The +bigness of the hull creation, and the smallness of +me, and the gait at which everything was racing +and rushing ahead, made me want to grab hold of +something solid and hang on. + +I reached out my hand, and it hit something +solid all right. It was a feller who was wheeling out +a hand truck loaded with boxes from the shipping +department. I had been standing by the shipping +department door, and I reached right agin him. + +He wants to know if I am drunk or a blanked +fool. So after some talk of that kind I borrows a +chew of tobacco of him and we gets right well +acquainted. + +I helped him finish loading his wagon and rode +over to the freight depot with him and helped him +unload her. Lifting one of them boxes down from +the wagon I got such a shock I like to of dropped her. + +Fur she was marked so many dozen, glass, handle +with care, and she was addressed to Dr. Hartley +L. Kirby, Atlanta, Ga. + +I managed to get that box onto the platform with- +out busting her, and then I sets down on top of her +awful weak. + +"What's the matter?" asts the feller I was with. + +"Nothing," says I. + +"You look sick," he says. And I WAS feeling +that-a-way. + +"Mebby I do," says I, "and it's enough to shake +a feller up to find a dead man come to life sudden +like this." + +"Great snakes, no!" says he, looking all around, +"where?" + +But I didn't stop to chew the rag none. I left +him right there, with his mouth wide open, staring +after me like I was crazy. Half a block away I +looked back and I seen him double over and slap his +knee and laugh loud, like he had hearn a big joke, +but what he was laughing at I never knew. + +I was tickled. Tickled? Jest so tickled I was +plumb foolish with it. The doctor was alive after +all--I kept saying it over and over to myself--he +hadn't drownded nor blowed away. And I was go- +ing to hunt him up. + +I had a little money. The perfessor had paid it +to me. He had give me a job helping take care of +his hosses and things like that, and wanted me to +stay, and I had been thinking mebby I would fur +a while. But not now! + +I calkelated I could grab a ride that very night +that would put me into Evansville the next morning. +I figgered if I ketched a through freight from there +on the next night I might get where he was almost +as quick as them bottles did. + +I didn't think it was no use writing out my +resignation fur the perfessor. But I got quite a bit +of grub from Biddy Malone to make a start on, fur +I didn't figger on spending no more money than I +had to on grub. She asts me a lot of questions, and +I had to lie to her a good deal, but I got the grub. +And at ten that night I was in an empty bumping +along south, along with a cross-eyed feller named +Looney Hogan who happened to be travelling the +same way. + +Riding on trains without paying fare ain't always +the easy thing it sounds. It is like a trade that has +got to be learned. They is different ways of doing +it. I have done every way frequent, except one. +That I give up after trying her two, three times. +That is riding the rods down underneath the cars, +with a piece of board put acrost 'em to lay yourself on. + +I never want to go ANYWHERES agin bad enough to +ride the rods. + +Because sometimes you arrive where you are going +to partly smeared over the trucks and in no condi- +tion fur to be made welcome to our city, as Doctor +Kirby would say. Sometimes you don't arrive. +Every oncet in a while you read a little piece in a +newspaper about a man being found alongside the +tracks, considerable cut up, or laying right acrost +them, mebby. He is held in the morgue a while and +no one knows who he is, and none of the train crew +knows they has run over a man, and the engineer +says they wasn't none on the track. More'n likely +that feller has been riding the rods, along about the +middle of the train. Mebby he let himself go to +sleep and jest rolled off. Mebby his piece of board +slipped and he fell when the train jolted. Or mebby +he jest natcherally made up his mind he rather let +loose and get squashed then get any more cinders +into his eyes. Riding the blind baggage or the +bumpers gives me all the excitement I wants, or all +the gambling chancet either; others can have the +rods fur all of me. And they IS some people ack- +shally says they likes 'em best. + +A good place, if it is winter time, is the feed rack +over a cattle car, fur the heat and steam from all +them steers in there will keep you warm. But don't +crawl in no lumber car that is only loaded about +half full, and short lengths and bundles of laths and +shingles in her; fur they is likely to get to shifting +and bumping. Baled hay is purty good sometimes. +Myself, not being like these bums that is too proud +to work, I have often helped the fireman shovel +coal and paid fur my ride that-a-way. But an +empty, fur gineral purposes, will do about as well as +anything. + +This feller Looney Hogan that was with me was a +kind of a harmless critter, and he didn't know jest +where he was going, nor why. He was mostly +scared of things, and if you spoke to him quick he +shivered first and then grinned idiotic so you wouldn't +kick him, and when he talked he had a silly little +giggle. He had been made that-a-way in a reform +school where they took him young and tried to +work the cussedness out'n him by batting him +around. They worked it out, and purty nigh every- +thing else along with it, I guess. Looney had had +a pardner whose name was Slim, he said; but a +couple of years before Slim had fell overboard off'n +a barge up to Duluth and never come up agin. +Looney knowed Slim was drownded all right, but +he was always travelling around looking at tanks +and freight depots and switch shanties, fur Slim's +mark to be fresh cut with a knife somewheres, so he +would know where to foller and ketch up with him +agin. He knowed he would never find Slim's mark, +he said, but he kept a-looking, and he guessed that +was the way he got the name of Looney. + +Looney left me at Evansville. He said he was +going east from there, he guessed. And I went +along south. But I was hindered considerable, +being put off of trains three or four times, and hav- +ing to grab these here slow local freights between +towns all the way down through Kentuckey. Any- +wheres south of the Ohio River and east of the +Mississippi River trainmen is grouchier to them they +thinks is bums than north of it, anyhow. And in +some parts of it, if a real bum gets pinched, heaven +help 'im, fur nothing else won't. + +One night, between twelve and one o'clock, I was +put off of a freight train fur the second time in a +place in the northern part of Tennessee, right near +the Kentuckey line. I set down in a lumber yard +near the railroad track, and when she started up +agin I grabbed onto the iron ladder and swung my- +self aboard. But the brakeman was watching fur +me, and clumb down the ladder and stamped on my +fingers. So I dropped off, with one finger con- +siderable mashed, and set down in that lumber yard +wondering what next. + +It was a dark night, and so fur as I could see they +wasn't much moving in that town. Only a few +places was lit up. One was way acrost the town +square from me, and it was the telephone exchange, +with a man operator reading a book in there. The +other was the telegraph room in the depot about a +hundred yards from me, and they was only two +fellers in it, both smoking. The main business part +of the town was built up around the square, like lots +of old-fashioned towns is, and they was jest enough +brightness from four, five electric lights to show the +shape of the square and be reflected from the +windows of the closed-up stores. + +I knowed they was likely a watchman somewheres +about, too. I guessed I wouldn't wander around +none and run no chances of getting took up by him. +So I was getting ready to lay down on top of a level +pile of boards and go to sleep when I hearn a curious +kind of noise a way off, like it must be at the edge +of town. + +It sounded like quite a bunch of cattle might +shuffling along a dusty road. The night was so +quiet you could hear things plain from a long ways +off. It growed a little louder and a little nearer. +And then it struck a plank bridge somewheres, +and come acrost it with a clatter. Then I knowed +it wasn't cattle. Cows and steers don't make that +cantering kind of noise as a rule; they trot. It was +hosses crossing that bridge. And they was quite a +lot of 'em. + +As they struck the dirt road agin, I hearn a shot. +And then another and another. Then a dozen all +to oncet, and away off through the night a woman +screamed. + +I seen the man in the telephone place fling down +his book and grab a pistol from I don't know where. +He stepped out into the street and fired three shots +into the air as fast as he could pull the trigger. And +as he done so they was a light flashed out in a build- +ing way down the railroad track, and shots come +answering from there. Men's voices began to yell +out; they was the noise of people running along +plank sidewalks, and windows opening in the dark. +Then with a rush the galloping noise come nearer, +come closet; raced by the place where I was hiding, +and nigh a hundred men with guns swept right +into the middle of that square and pulled their +hosses up. + + + + + +CHAPTER XIII + + +I seen the feller from the telephone exchange +run down the street a little ways as the +first rush hit the square, and fire his pistol +twice. Then he turned and made fur an alleyway, +but as he turned they let him have it. He throwed +up his arms and made one long stagger, right +acrost the bar of light that streamed out of the +windows, and he fell into the shadder, out of sight, +jest like a scorched moth drops dead into the dark- +ness from a torch. + +Out of the middle of that bunch of riders come a +big voice, yelling numbers, instead of men's names. +Then different crowds lit out in all directions-- +some on foot, while others held their hosses--fur +they seemed to have a plan laid ahead. + +And then things began to happen. They hap- +pened so quick and with such a whirl it was all +unreal to me--shots and shouts, and windows +breaking as they blazed away at the store fronts all +around the square--and orders and cuss-words +ringing out between the noise of shooting--and +those electric lights shining on them as they tossed +and trampled, and showing up masked faces here +and there--and pounding hoofs, and hosses scream- +like humans with excitement--and spurts +of flame squirted sudden out of the ring of darkness +round about the open place--and a bull-dog shut +up in a store somewheres howling himself hoarse-- +and white puffs of powder smoke like ghosts that +went a-drifting by the lights--it was all unreal +to me, as if I had a fever and was dreaming it. +That square was like a great big stage in front of +me, and I laid in the darkness on my lumber pile +and watched things like a show--not much scared +because it WAS so derned unreal. + +From way down along the railroad track they +come a sort of blunted roar, like blasting big stumps +out--and then another and another. Purty soon, +down that way, a slim flame licked up the side of +a big building there, and crooked its tongue over +the top. Then a second big building right beside +it ketched afire, and they both showed up in their +own light, big and angry and handsome, and the +light showed up the men in front of 'em, too-- +guarding 'em, I guess, fur fear the town would get +its nerve and make a fight to put 'em out. They +begun to light the whole town up as light as day, +and paint a red patch onto the sky, that must of +been noticed fur miles around. It was a mighty +purty sight to see 'em burn. The smoke was +rolling high, too, and the sparks flying and other +things in danger of ketching, and after while a lick +of smoke come drifting up my way. I smelt her. +It was tobacco burning in them warehouses. + +But that town had some fight in her, in spite +of being took unexpected that-a-way. It wasn't +no coward town. The light from the burning +buildings made all the shadders around about seem +all the darker. And every once in a while, after +the surprise of the first rush, they would come thin +little streaks of fire out of the darkness somewheres, +and the sound of shots. And then a gang of riders +would gallop in that direction shooting up all crea- +tion. But by the time the warehouses was all lit +up so that you could see they was no hope of putting +them out the shooting from the darkness had jest +about stopped. + +It looked like them big tobacco warehouses was +the main object of the raid. Fur when they was +burning past all chancet of saving, with walls and +floors a-tumbling and crashing down and sending +up great gouts of fresh flame as they fell, the leader +sings out an order, and all that is not on their +hosses jumps on, and they rides away from the blaze. +They come across the square--not galloping now, +but taking it easy, laughing and talking and cussing +and joking each other--and passed right by my +lumber pile agin and down the street they had +come. You bet I laid low on them boards while +they was going by, and flattened myself out till +I felt like a shingle. + +As I hearn their hoof-sounds getting farther +off, I lifts up my head agin. But they wasn't +all gone, either. Three that must of been up to +some pertic'ler deviltry of their own come galloping +acrost the square to ketch up with the main bunch. +Two was quite a bit ahead of the third one, and he +yelled to them to wait. But they only laughed and +rode harder. + +And then fur some fool reason that last feller +pulled up his hoss and stopped. He stopped in the +road right in front of me, and wheeled his hoss +acrost the road and stood up in his stirrups and took +a long look at that blaze. You'd 'a' said he had +done it all himself and was mighty proud of it, +the way he raised his head and looked back at that +town. He was so near that I hearn him draw in a +slow, deep breath. He stood still fur most a minute +like that, black agin the red sky, and then he turned +his hoss's head and jabbed him with his stirrup +edge. + +Jest as the hoss started they come a shot from +somewheres behind me. I s'pose they was some +one hid in the lumber piles, where the street crossed +the railway, besides myself. The hoss jumped +forward at the shot, and the feller swayed sideways +and dropped his gun and lost his stirrups and come +down heavy on the ground. His hoss galloped off. +I heard the noise of some one running off through +the dark, and stumbling agin the lumber. It was +the feller who had fired the shot running away. +I suppose he thought the rest of them riders would +come back, when they heard that shot, and hunt +him down. + +I thought they might myself. But I laid there, +and jest waited. If they come, I didn't want to +be found running. But they didn't come. The +two last ones had caught up with the main gang, +I guess, fur purty soon I hearn them all crossing +that plank bridge agin, and knowed they was gone. + +At first I guessed the feller on the ground must +be dead. But he wasn't, fur purty soon I hearn him +groan. He had mebby been stunned by his fall, +and was coming to enough to feel his pain. + +I didn't feel like he orter be left there. So I +clumb down and went over to him. He was lying +on one side all kind of huddled up. There had been +a mask on his face, like the rest of them, with some +hair onto the bottom of it to look like a beard. +But now it had slipped down till it hung loose around +his neck by the string. They was enough light +to see he wasn't nothing but a young feller. He +raised himself slow as I come near him, leaning on +one arm and trying to set up. The other arm +hung loose and helpless. Half setting up that-a- +way he made a feel at his belt with his good hand, +as I come near. But that good arm was his prop, +and when he took it off the ground he fell back. +His hand come away empty from his belt. + +The big six-shooter he had been feeling fur +wasn't in its holster, anyhow. It had fell out when +he tumbled. I picked it up in the road jest a few +feet from his shot-gun, and stood there with it in +my hand, looking down at him. + +"Well," he says, in a drawly kind of voice, +slow and feeble, but looking at me steady and +trying to raise himself agin, "yo' can finish yo' +little job now--yo' shot me from the darkness, +and now yo' done got my pistol. I reckon yo' +better shoot AGIN." + +"I don't want to rub it in none," I says, "with +you down and out, but from what I seen around +this town to-night I guess you and your own gang +got no GREAT objections to shooting from the dark +yourselves." + +"Why don't yo' shoot then?" he says. "It +most suttinly is YO' turn now." And he never +batted an eye. + +"Bo," I says, "you got nerve. I LIKE you, Bo. +I didn't shoot you, and I ain't going to. The feller +that did has went. I'm going to get you out of +this. Where you hurt?" + +"Hip," he says, "but that ain't much. The thing +that bothers me is this arm. It's done busted. I +fell on it." + +I drug him out of the road and back of the lumber +pile I had been laying on, and hurt him considerable +a-doing it. + +"Now," I says, "what can I do fur you?" + +"I reckon yo' better leave me," he says, "without +yo' want to get yo'self mixed up in all this." + +"If I do," I says, "you may bleed to death here: +or anyway you would get found in the morning +and be run in." + +"Yo' mighty good to me," says he, "considering +yo' are no kin to this here part of the country at +all. I reckon by yo' talk yo' are one of them damn +Yankees, ain't yo'?" + +In Illinoise a Yankee is some one from the East, +but down South he is anybody from north of the +Ohio, and though that there war was fought forty +years ago some of them fellers down there don't +know damn and Yankee is two words yet. But +shucks!--they don't mean no harm by it! So +I tells him I am a damn Yankee and asts him agin +if I can do anything fur him. + +"Yes," he says, "yo' can tell a friend of mine Bud +Davis has happened to an accident, and get him +over here quick with his wagon to tote me home." + +I was to go down the railroad track past them +burning warehouses till I come to the third street, +and then turn to my left. "The third house from +the track has got an iron picket fence in front of +it," says Bud, "and it's the only house in that part +of town which has. Beauregard Peoples lives +there. He is kin to me." + +"Yes," I says, "and Beauregard is jest as likely +as not going to take a shot out of the front window +at me, fur luck, afore I can tell him what I want. +It seems to be a kind of habit in these here parts +to-night--I'm getting homesick fur Illinoise. But +I'll take a chancet." + +"He won't shoot," says Bud, "if yo' go about it +right. Beauregard ain't going to be asleep with all +this going on in town to-night. Yo' rattle on the +iron gate and he'll holler to know what yo' all +want." + +"If he don't shoot first," I says. + +"When he hollers, yo' cry back at him yo' have +found his OLD DEAD HOSS in the road. It won't hurt +to holler that loud, and that will make him let you +within talking distance." + +"His old DEAD HOSS?" + +"Yo' don't need to know what that is. HE +will." And then Bud told me enough of the signs +and words to say, and things to do, to keep Beaure- +gard from shooting--he said he reckoned he had +trusted me so much he might as well go the hull +hog. Beauregard, he says, belongs to them riders +too; they have friends in all the towns that watches +the lay of the land fur them, he says. + +I made a long half-circle around them burning +buildings, keeping in the dark, fur people was +coming out in bunches, now that it was all over +with, watching them fires burning, and talking +excited, and saying the riders should be follered-- +only not follering. + +I found the house Bud meant, and they was a +light in the second-story window. I rattled on the +gate. A dog barked somewheres near, but I hearn +his chain jangle and knowed he was fast, and I +rattled on the gate agin. + +The light moved away from the window. Then +another front window opened quiet, and a voice +says: + +"Doctor, is that yo' back agin?" + +"No," I says, "I ain't a doctor." + +"Stay where you are, then. _I_ GOT YOU COVERED." + +"I am staying," I says, "don't shoot." + +"Who are yo'?" + +"A feller," I says, kind of sensing his gun through +the darkness as I spoke, "who has found your +OLD DEAD HOSS in the road." + +He didn't answer fur several minutes. Then +he says, using the words DEAD HOSS as Bud had said +he would. + +"A DEAD HOSS is fitten fo' nothing but to skin." + +"Well," I says, using the words fur the third +time, as instructed, "it is a DEAD HOSS all right." + +I hearn the window shut and purty soon the +front door opened. + +"Come up here," he says. I come. + +"Who rode that hoss yo' been talking about?" +he asts. + +"One of the SILENT BRIGADE," I tells him, as Bud +had told me to say. I give him the grip Bud had +showed me with his good hand. + +"Come on in," he says. + +He shut the door behind us and lighted a lamp +agin. And we looked each other over. He was +a scrawny little feller, with little gray eyes set +near together, and some sandy-complected whiskers +on his chin. I told him about Bud, and what his +fix was. + +"Damn it--oh, damn it all," he says, rubbing the +bridge of his nose, "I don't see how on AIRTH I kin +do it. My wife's jest had a baby. Do yo' hear +that?" + +And I did hear a sound like kittens mewing, +somewheres up stairs. Beauregard, he grinned and +rubbed his nose some more, and looked at me like +he thought that mewing noise was the smartest +sound that ever was made. + +"Boy," he says, grinning, "bo'n five hours ago. +I've done named him Burley--after the tobaccer +association, yo' know. Yes, SIR, Burley Peoples +is his name--and he shore kin squall, the derned +little cuss!" + +"Yes," I says, "you better stay with Burley. +Lend me a rig of some sort and I'll take Bud home." + +So we went out to Beauregard's stable with a +lantern and hitched up one of his hosses to a light +road wagon. He went into the house and come +back agin with a mattress fur Bud to lie on, and a +part of a bottle of whiskey. And I drove back to +that lumber pile. I guess I nearly killed Bud +getting him into there. But he wasn't bleeding +much from his hip--it was his arm was giving +him fits. + +We went slow, and the dawn broke with us four +miles out of town. It was broad daylight, and +early morning noises stirring everywheres, when +we drove up in front of an old farmhouse, with big +brick chimbleys built on the outside of it, a couple +of miles farther on. + + + + + +CHAPTER XIV + + +As I drove into the yard, a bare-headed old +nigger with a game leg throwed down +an armful of wood he was gathering and +went limping up to the veranda as fast as he could. +He opened the door and bawled out, pointing to +us, before he had it fairly open: + +"O Marse WILLyum! O Miss LUCY! Dey've +brung him home! DAR he!" + +A little, bright, black-eyed old lady like a wren +comes running out of the house, and chirps: + +"O Bud--O my honey boy! Is he dead?" + +"I reckon not, Miss Lucy," says Bud raising +himself up on the mattress as she runs up to the +wagon, and trying to act like everything was all +a joke. She was jest high enough to kiss him over +the edge of the wagon box. A worried-looking old +gentleman come out the door, seen Bud and his +mother kissing each other, and then says to the old +nigger man: + +"George, yo' old fool, what do yo' mean by +shouting out like that?" + +"Marse Willyum--" begins George, explaining. + +"Shut up," says the old gentleman, very quiet. +"Take the bay mare and go for Doctor Po'ter." +Then he comes to the wagon and says: + +"So they got yo', Bud? Yo' WOULD go night- +riding like a rowdy and a thug! Are yo' much +hurt?" + +He said it easy and gentle, more than mad. +But Bud, he flushed up, pale as he was, and didn't +answer his dad direct. He turned to his mother +and said: + +"Miss Lucy, dear, it would 'a' done yo' heart +good to see the way them trust warehouses blazed +up!" + +And the old lady, smiling and crying both to +oncet, says, "God bless her brave boy." But the old +gentleman looked mighty serious, and his worry +settled into a frown between his eyes, and he turns +to me and says: + +"Yo' must pardon us, sir, fo' neglecting to thank +yo' sooner." I told him that would be all right, +fur him not to worry none. And him and me and +Mandy, which was the nigger cook, got Bud into +the house and into his bed. And his mother gets +that busy ordering Mandy and the old gentleman +around, to get things and fix things, and make Bud +as easy as she could, that you could see she was one +of them kind of woman that gets a lot of satisfaction +out of having some one sick to fuss over. And after +quite a while George gets back with Doctor Porter. + +He sets Bud's arm, and he locates the bullet in +him, and he says he guesses he'll do in a few weeks +if nothing like blood poisoning nor gangrene nor +inflammation sets in. + +Only the doctor says he "reckons" instead of +he "guesses," which they all do down there. And +they all had them easy-going, wait-a-bit kind of +voices, and didn't see no pertic'ler importance +in their "r's." It wasn't that you could spell it +no different when they talked, but it sounded +different. + +I eat my breakfast with the old gentleman, and +then I took a sleep until time fur dinner. They +wouldn't hear of me leaving that night. I fully +intended to go on the next day, but before I knowed +it I been there a couple of days, and have got very +well acquainted with that fambly. + +Well, that was a house divided agin itself. Miss +Lucy, she is awful favourable to all this night- +rider business. She spunks up and her eyes sparkles +whenever she thinks about that there tobaccer +trust. + +She would of like to been a night-rider herself. +But the old man, he says law and order is the main +pint. What the country needs, he says, ain't +burning down tobaccer warehouses, and shooting +your neighbours, and licking them with switches, +fur no wrong done never righted another wrong. + +"But you were in the Ku Klux Klan yo'self," +says Miss Lucy. + +The old man says the Ku Kluxes was working +fur a principle--the principle of keeping the white +supremacy on top of the nigger race. Fur if you +let 'em quit work and go around balloting and voting +it won't do. It makes 'em biggity. And a biggity +nigger is laying up trouble fur himself. Because +sooner or later he will get to thinking he is as good +as one of these here Angle-Saxtons you are always +hearing so much talk about down South. And if +the Angle-Saxtons was to stand fur that, purty +soon they would be sociable equality. And next +the hull dern country would be niggerized. Them +there Angle-Saxtons, that come over from Ireland +and Scotland and France and the Great British +Islands and settled up the South jest simply couldn't +afford to let that happen, he says, and so they Ku +Kluxed the niggers to make 'em quit voting. It was +THEIR job to MAKE law and order, he says, which +they couldn't be with niggers getting the idea they +had a right to govern. So they Ku Kluxed 'em +like gentlemen. But these here night-riders, he +says, is AGIN law and order--they can shoot up +more law and order in one night than can be manu- +factured agin in ten years. He was a very quiet, +peaceable old man, Mr. Davis was, and Bud says +he was so dern foolish about law and order he had +to up and shoot a man, about fifteen years ago, who +hearn him talking that-a-way and said he reminded +him of a Boston school teacher. + +But Miss Lucy and Bud, they tells me what all +them night-ridings is fur. It seems this here to- +baccer trust is jest as mean and low-down and un- +principled as all the rest of them trusts. The farm- +ers around there raised considerable tobaccer-- +more'n they did of anything else. The trust had +shoved the price so low they couldn't hardly make +a living. So they organized and said they would +all hold their tobaccer fur a fair price. But some of +the farmers wouldn't organize--said they had +a right to do what they pleased with their own to- +baccer. So the night-riders was formed to burn their +barns and ruin their crops and whip 'em and shoot +'em and make 'em jine. And also to burn a few +trust warehouses now and then, and show 'em this +free American people, composed mainly out of the +Angle-Saxton races, wasn't going to take no sass +from anybody. + +An old feller by the name of Rufe Daniels who +wouldn't jine the night-riders had been shot to +death on his own door step, jest about a mile away, +only a week or so before. The night-riders mostly +used these here automatic shot-guns, but they +didn't bother with birdshot. They mostly loaded +their shells with buckshot. A few bicycle ball +bearings dropped out of old Rufe when they gathered +him up and got him into shape to plant. They +is always some low-down cuss in every crowd that +carries things to the point where they get brutal, +Bud says; and he feels like them bicycle bearings +was going a little too fur, though he wouldn't let +on to his dad that he felt that-a-way. + +So fur as I could see they hadn't hurt the trust +none to speak of, them night-riders. But they had +done considerable damage to their own county, +fur folks was moving away, and the price of land +had fell. Still, I guess they must of got considerable +satisfaction out of raising the deuce nights that-a- +way; and sometimes that is worth a hull lot to a +feller. As fur as I could make out both the trust +and the night-riders was in the wrong. But, you +take 'em one at a time, personal-like, and not into +a gang, and most of them night-riders is good-dis- +positioned folks. I never knowed any trusts per- +sonal, but mebby if you could ketch 'em the same +way they would be similar. + +I asts George one day what he thought about it. +George, he got mighty serious right off, like he felt +his answer was going to be used to decide the hull +thing by. He was carrying a lot of scraps on a +plate to a hound dog that had a kennel out near +George's cabin, and he walled his eyes right thought- +ful, and scratched his head with the fork he had been +scraping the plate with, but fur a while nothing +come of it. Finally George says: + +"I'se 'spec' mah jedgment des about de same +as Marse WILLyum's an' Miss LUCY's. I'se notice +hit mos' ingin'lly am de same." + +"That can't be, George," says I, "fur they think +different ways." + +"Den if DAT am de case," says George, "dey ain't +NO ONE kin settle hit twell hit settles hitse'f. + +"I'se mos' ingin'lly notice a thing DO settle +hitse'f arter a while. Yass, SAH, I'se notice dat! +Long time ago dey was consid'ble gwines-on in +dis hyah county, Marse Daniel. I dunno ef yo' +evah heah 'bout dat o' not, Marse Daniel, but dey +was a wah fit right hyah in dis hyah county. Such +gwines-on as nevah was--dem dar Yankees a-ridin' +aroun' an' eatin' up de face o' de yearth, like de +plagues o' Pha'aoah, Marse Daniel, and rippin' +and rarin' an' racin' an' stealin' evehything dey +could lay dey han's on, Marse Daniel. An' ouah +folks a-ridin' and a racin' and projickin' aroun' in +de same onsettled way. + +"Marse Willyum, he 'low HE gwine settle dat dar +wah he-se'f--yass, SAH! An' he got on he hoss, +and he ride away an' jine Marse Jeb Stuart. But +dey don' settle hit. Marse Ab'ham Linkum, he +'low HE gwine settle hit, an' sen' millyums an' +millyums mo' o' dem Yankees down hyah, Marse +Daniel. But dey des ONsettle hit wuss'n evah! +But arter a while it des settle HITse'f. + + "An' den freedom broke out among de niggers, +and dey was mo' gwines-ON, an' talkin', an' some +on 'em 'lowed dey was gwine ter be no mo' wohk, +Marse Daniel. But arter a while dat settle HITse'f, +and dey all went back to wohk agin. Den some on +de niggers gits de notion, Marse Daniel, dey gwine +foh to VOTE. An' dey was mo' gwines-on, an' de Ku +Kluxes come a projickin' aroun' nights, like +de grave-yahds done been resu'rected, Marse +Daniel, an' den arter a while dat trouble settle +HITse'f. + +"Den arter de Ku Kluxes dey was de time +Miss Lucy Buckner gwine ter mahy Marse Prent +McMakin. An' she don' want to ma'hy him, if dey +give her her druthers about hit. But Ol' Marse +Kunnel Hampton, her gram-pa, and her aunt, MY +Miss Lucy hyah, dey ain't gwine give her no +druthers. And dey was mo' gwines-ON. But dat +settle HITse'f, too." + +George, he begins to chuckle, and I ast him +how. + +"Yass, SAH, dat settle HITse'f. But I 'spec' +Miss Lucy Buckner done he'p some in de settleMENT. +Foh de day befoh de weddin' was gwine ter be, +she ups an' she runs off wid a Yankee frien' of her +brother, Kunnel Tom Buckner. An' I'se 'spec' +Kunnel Tom an' Marse Prent McMakin would +o' settle' HIM ef dey evah had o' cotched him-- +dat dar David Ahmstrong!" + +"Who?" says I. + +"David Ahmstrong was his entitlement," says +George, "an' he been gwine to de same college as +Marse Tom Buckner, up no'th somewhah. Dat's +how-come he been visitin' Marse Tom des befoh +de weddin' trouble done settle HIT se'f dat-a- +way." + +Well, it give me quite a turn to run onto the +mention of that there David Armstrong agin in this +part of the country. Here he had been jilting +Miss Hampton way up in Indiany, and running +away with another girl down here in Tennessee. +Then it struck me mebby it is jest different parts +of the same story I been hearing of, and Martha +had got her part a little wrong. + +"George," I says, "what did you say Miss Lucy +Buckner's gran-dad's name was?" + +"Kunnel Hampton--des de same as MY Miss +Lucy befo' SHE done ma'hied Marse Willyum." + +That made me sure of it. It was the same woman. +She had run away with David Armstrong from this +here same neighbourhood. Then after he got her +up North he had left her--or her left him. And +then she wasn't Miss Buckner no longer. And she +was mad and wouldn't call herself Mrs. Armstrong. +So she moved away from where any one was lible +to trace her to, and took her mother's maiden +name, which was Hampton. + +"Well," I says, "what ever become of 'em after +they run off, George?" + +But George has told about all he knows. They +went North, according to what everybody thinks, +he says. Prent McMakin, he follered and hunted. +And Col. Tom Buckner, he done the same. Fur +about a year Colonel Tom, he was always making +trips away from there to the North. But whether +he ever got any track of his sister and that David +Armstrong nobody knowed. Nobody never asked +him. Old Colonel Hampton, he grieved and he +grieved, and not long after the runaway he up and +died. And Tom Buckner, he finally sold all he +owned in that part of the country and moved +further south. George said he didn't rightly know +whether it was Alabama or Florida. Or it might +of been Georgia. + +I thinks to myself that mebby Mrs. Davis would +like to know where her niece is, and that I better +tell her about Miss Hampton being in that there +little Indiany town, and where it is. And then I +thinks to myself I better not butt in. Fur Miss +Hampton has likely got her own reasons fur keeping +away from her folks, or else she wouldn't do it. +Anyhow, it's none of MY affair to bring the subject +up to 'em. It looks to me like one of them things +George has been gassing about--one of them +things that has settled itself, and it ain't fur me to +meddle and unsettle it. + +It set me to thinking about Martha, too. Not +that I hadn't thought of her lots of times. I had +often thought I would write her. But I kept putting +it off, and purty soon I kind of forgot Martha. I +had seen a lot of different girls of all kinds since I +had seen Martha. Yet, whenever I happened to +think of Martha, I had always liked her best. Only +moving around the country so much makes it kind +of hard to keep thinking steady of the same girl. +Besides, I had lost that there half of a ring, +too. + +But knowing what I did now about Miss Hampton +being Miss Buckner--or Mrs. Armstrong--and +related to these Davises made me want to get away +from there. Fur that secret made me feel kind of +sneaking, like I wasn't being frank and open with +them. Yet if I had of told 'em I would of felt +sneakinger yet fur giving Miss Hampton away. +I never got into a mix up that-a-way betwixt my +conscience and my duty but what it made me feel +awful uncomfortable. So I guessed I would light +out from there. They wasn't never no kinder, +better people than them Davises, either. They +was so pleased with my bringing Bud home the night +he was shot they would of jest natcherally give +me half their farm if I had of ast them fur it. They +wanted me to stay there--they didn't say fur how +long, and I guess they didn't give a dern. But I +was in a sweat to ketch up with Doctor Kirby +agin. + + + + + +CHAPTER XV + + +I made purty good time, and in a couple of +days I was in Atlanta. I knowed the doctor +must of gone back into some branch of the +medicine game--the bottles told me that. I +knowed it must be something that he needed some +special kind of bottles fur, too, or he wouldn't +of had them shipped all that distance, but would of +bought them nearer. I seen I was a dern fool fur +rushing off and not inquiring what kind of bottles, +so I could trace what he was into easier. + +It's hard work looking fur a man in a good-sized +town. I hung around hotel lobbies and places till +I was tired of it, thinking he might come in. And +I looked through all the office buildings and read +all the advertisements in the papers. Then the +second day I was there the state fair started up +and I went out to it. + +I run acrost a couple I knowed out there the +first thing--it was Watty and the snake-charmer +woman. Only she wasn't charming them now. +Her and Watty had a Parisian Models' show. I +ast Watty where Dolly was. He says he don't +know, that Dolly has quit him. By which I guess +he means he has quit her. I ast where Reginald is, +and the Human Ostrich. But from the way they +answered my questions I seen I wasn't welcome +none around there. I suppose that Mrs. Ostrich +and Watty had met up agin somewheres, and had +jest natcherally run off with each other and left +their famblies. Like as not she had left poor old +Reginald with that idiotic ostrich feller to sell to +strangers that didn't know his disposition. Or +mebby by now Reginald was turned loose in the +open country to shift fur himself, among wild +snakes that never had no human education nor +experience; and what chancet would a friendly +snake like Reginald have in a gang like that? Some +women has jest simply got no conscience at all +about their husbands and famblies, and that there +Mrs. Ostrich was one of 'em. + +Well, a feller can be a derned fool sometimes. +Fur all my looking around I wasted a lot of time +before I thought of going to the one natcheral +place--the freight depot of the road them bottles +had been shipped by. I had lost a week coming +down. But freight often loses more time than that. +And it was at the freight depot that I found him. + +Tickled? Well, yes! Both of us. + +"Well, by George," says he, "you're good for +sore eyes." + +Before he told me how he happened not to of +drownded or blowed away or anything he says +we better fix up a bit. Which he meant I better. +So he buys me duds from head to heel, and we goes +to a Turkish bath place and I puts 'em on. And +then we goes and eats. Hearty. + +"Now," he says, "Fido Cut-up, how did you find +me?"* + +I told him about the bottles. + +"A dead loss, those bottles," he says. "I wanted +some non-refillable ones for a little scheme I had +in mind, and I had to get them at a certain place +--and now the scheme's up in the air and I can't +use 'em." + +The doctor had changed some in looks in the year +or more that had passed since I saw him floating +away in that balloon. And not fur the better. +He told me how he had blowed clean acrost Lake +Erie in that there balloon. And then when he got +over land agin and went to pull the cord that lets +the parachute loose it wouldn't work at first. He +jest natcherally drifted on into the midst of nowhere, +he said--miles and miles into Canada. When +he lit the balloon had lost so much gas and was +flying so low that the parachute didn't open out +quick enough to do much floating. So he lit hard, +and come near being knocked out fur good. But + +---------- +*AUTHOR'S NOTE--Can it be that Danny struggles vaguely +to report some reference to FIDUS ACHATES? + +that wasn't the worst of it, fur the exposure had +crawled into his lungs by the time he found a house, +and he got newmonia into them also, and like to +of died. Whilst I was laying sick he had been sick +also, only his'n lasted much longer. + +But he tells me he has jest struck an idea fur a +big scheme. No little schemes go fur him any +more, he says. He wants money. Real money. + +"How you going to get it?" I asts him. + +"Come along and I'll tell you," he says. "We'll +take a walk, and I'll show you how I got my idea." + +We left the restaurant and went along the brag +street of that town, which it is awful proud of, +past where the stores stops and the houses begins. +We come to a fine-looking house on a corner--a +swell place it was, with lots of palms and ferns +and plants setting on the verandah and showing +through the windows. And stables back of it; +and back of the stables a big yard with noises coming +from it like they was circus animals there. Which +I found out later they really was, kept fur pets. +You could tell the people that lived there had money. + +"This," says Doctor Kirby, as we walked by, +"is the house that Jackson built. Dr. Julius Jack- +son--OLD Doctor Jackson, the man with an idea! +The idea made all the money you smell around here." + +"What idea?" + +"The idea--the glorious humanitarian and +philanthropic idea--of taking the kinks and curls +out of the hair of the Afro-American brother," +says Doctor Kirby, "at so much per kink." + +This Doctor Jackson, he says, sells what he +calls Anti-Curl to the niggers. It is to straighten +out their hair so it will look like white people's +hair. They is millions and millions of niggers, +and every nigger has millions and millions of kinks, +and so Doctor Jackson has got rich at it. So rich +he can afford to keep that there personal circus +menagerie in his back yard, for his little boy to +play with, and many other interesting things. He +must be worth two, three million dollars, Doctor +Kirby says, and still a-making it, with more niggers +growing up all the time fur to have their hair un- +kinked. Especially mulattoes and yaller niggers. +Doctor Kirby says thinking what a great idea that +Anti-Curl was give him his own great idea. They +is a gold mine there, he says, and Dr. Julius Jackson +has only scratched a little off the top of it, but HE +is going to dig deeper. + +"Why is it that the Afro-American brother buys +Anti-Curl?" he asts. + +"Why?" I asts. + +"Because," he says, "he wants to be as much +like a white man as he possibly can. He strives +to burst his birth's invidious bar, Danny. They +talk about progress and education for the Afro- +American brother, and uplift and advancement +and industrial education and manual training and +all that sort of thing. Especially we Northerners. +But what the Afro-American brother thinks about +and dreams about and longs for and prays +to be--when he thinks at all--is to be white. +Education, to his mind, is learning to talk like a +white man. Progress means aping the white man. +Religion is dying and going to heaven and being a +WHITE angel--listen to his prayers and sermons +and you'll find that out. He'll do anything he can, +or give anything he can get his Ethiopian grub- +hooks on, for something that he thinks is going to +make him more like a white man. Poor devil! +Therefore the millions of Doctor Jackson Anti- +Curl. + +"All this Doctor Jackson Anti-Curl has dis- +covered and thought out and acted upon. If he +had gone just one step farther the Afro-American +brother would have hailed him as a greater man +than Abraham Lincoln, or either of the Washing- +tons, George or Booker. It remains for me, +Danny--for US--to carry the torch ahead--to +take up the work where the imagination of Doctor +Jackson Anti-Curl has laid it down." + +"How?" asts I. + +"WE'LL PUT UP AND SELL A PREPARATION TO TURN THE +NEGROES WHITE!" + +THAT was his great idea. He was more excited +over it than I ever seen him before about anything. + +It sounded like so easy a way to get rich it made +me wonder why no one had ever done it before, +if it could really be worked. I didn't believe much +it could be worked. + +But Doctor Kirby, he says he has begun his +experiments already, with arsenic. Arsenic, he +says, will bleach anything. Only he is kind of +afraid of arsenic, too. If he could only get hold of +something that didn't cost much, and that would +whiten them up fur a little while, he says, it wouldn't +make no difference if they did get black agin. +This here Anti-Curl stuff works like that--it +takes the kinks out fur a little while, and they come +back agin. But that don't seem to hurt the sale +none. It only calls fur MORE of Doctor Jackson's +medicine. + +The doctor takes me around to the place he boards +at, and shows me a nigger waiter he has been ex- +perimenting on. He had paid the nigger's fine in a +police court fur slashing another nigger some with +a knife, and kept him from going into the chain- +gang. So the nigger agreed he could use his hide +to try different kinds of medicines on. He was a +velvety-looking, chocolate-coloured kind of nigger +to start with, and the best Doctor Kirby had been +able to do so fur was to make a few little liver- +coloured spots come onto him. But it was making +the nigger sick, and the doctor was afraid to go +too fur with it, fur Sam might die and we would +be at the expense of another nigger. Peroxide of +hidergin hadn't even phased him. Nor a lot of +other things we tried onto him. + +You never seen a nigger with his colour running +into him so deep as Sam's did. Sam, he was always +apologizing about it, too. You could see it made +him feel real bad to think his colour was so stubborn. +He felt like it wasn't being polite to the doctor and +me, Sam did, fur his skin to act that-a-way. He +was a willing nigger, Sam was. The doctor, he +says he will find out the right stuff if he has to start +at the letter A and work Sam through every drug +in the hull blame alphabet down to Z. + +Which he finally struck it. I don't exactly know +what she had in her, but she was a mixture of some +kind. The only trouble with her was she didn't +work equal and even--left Sam's face looking +peeled and spotty in places. But still, in them +spots, Sam was six shades lighter. The doctor +says that is jest what he wants, that there passing- +on-to-the-next-cage-we-have-the-spotted-girocutus- +look, as he calls it. The chocolate brown and the +lighter spots side by side, he says, made a regular +Before and After out of Sam's face, and was the +best advertisement you could have. + +Then we goes and has a talk with Doctor Jackson +himself. Doctor Kirby has the idea mebby he +will put some money into it. Doctor Jackson was +setting on his front veranda with his chair tilted +back, and his feet, with red carpet slippers on 'em, +was on the railing, and he was smoking one of these +long black cigars that comes each one in a little +glass tube all by itself. He looks Sam over very +thoughtful, and he says: + +"Yes, it will do the work well enough. I can see +that. But will it sell?" + +Doctor Kirby makes him quite a speech. I never +hearn him make a better one. Doctor Jackson he +listens very calm, with his thumbs in the armholes +of his vest, and moving his eyebrows up and down +like he enjoyed it. But he don't get excited none. +Finally Doctor Kirby says he will undertake to +show that it will sell--me and him will take a trip +down into the black country ourselves and show +what can be done with it, and take Sam along fur +an object lesson. + +Well, they was a lot of rag-chewing. Doctor +Jackson don't warm up none, and he asts a million +questions. Like how much it costs a bottle to +make it, and what was our idea how much it orter +sell fur. He says finally if we can sell a certain +number of bottles in so long a time he will put some +money into it. Only, he says, they will be a stock +company, and he will have to have fifty-one per +cent. of the stock, or he won't put no money into +it. He says if things go well he will let Doctor +Kirby be manager of that company, and let him +have some stock in it too, and he will be president +and treasurer of it himself. + +Doctor Kirby, he didn't like that, and said so. +Said HE was going to organize that stock company, +and control it himself. But Doctor Jackson said +he never put money into nothing he couldn't run. +So it was settled we would give the stuff a try-out +and report to him. Before we went away from +there it looked to me like Doctor Kirby and me was +going to work fur this here Doctor Jackson, instead +of making all them there millions fur ourselves. +Which I didn't take much to that Anti-Curl man +myself; he was so cold-blooded like. + +I didn't like the scheme itself any too well, +neither. Not any way you could look at it. In +the first place it seemed like a mean trick on the +niggers. Then I didn't much believe we could get +away with it. + +The more I looked him over the more I seen +Doctor Kirby had changed considerable. When +I first knowed him he liked to hear himself talking +and he liked to live free and easy and he liked to +be running around the country and all them things, +more'n he liked to be making money. Of course, +he wanted it; but that wasn't the ONLY thing he +was into the Sagraw game fur. If he had money, +he was free with it and would help most any one +out of a hole. But he wasn't thinking it and talking +it all the time then. + +But now he was thinking money and dream- +ing money and talking of nothing but how +to get it. And planning to make it out of +skinning them niggers. He didn't care a dern +how he worked on their feelings to get it. He +didn't even seem to care whether he killed Sam +trying them drugs onto him. He wanted MONEY, +and he wanted it so bad he was ready and +willing to take up with most any wild scheme +to make it. + +They was something about him now that didn't +fit in much with the Doctor Kirby I had knowed. +It seemed like he had spells when he saw himself +how he had changed. He wasn't gay and joking +all the time like he had been before, neither. I +guess the doctor was getting along toward fifty +years old. I suppose he thought if he was ever +going to get anything out of his gift of the gab he +better settle down to something, and quit fooling +around, and do it right away. But it looked to +me like he might never turn the trick. Fur he was +drinking right smart all the time. Drinking made +him think a lot, and thinking was making him look +old. He was more'n one year older than he had +been a year ago. + +He kept a quart bottle in his room now. The +night after we had took Sam to see Doctor Jackson +we was setting in his room, and he was hitting it +purty hard. + +"Danny," he says to me, after a while, like he +was talking out loud to himself too, "what did you +think of Doctor Jackson?" + +"I don't like him much," I says. + +"Nor I," he says, frowning, and takes a drink. +Then he says, after quite a few minutes of frowning +and thinking, under his breath like: "He's a blame +sight more decent than I am, for all of that." + +"Why?" I asts him. + +"Because Doctor Jackson," he says, "hasn't +the least idea that he ISN'T decent, and getting his +money in a decent way. While at one time I +was--" + +He breaks off and don't say what he was. I +asts him. "I was going to say a gentleman," +he says, "but on reflection, I doubt if I was ever +anything but a cheap imitation. I never heard +a man say that he was a gentleman at one time, +that I didn't doubt him. Also," he goes on, work- +ing himself into a better humour again with the +sound of his own voice, "if I HAD ever been a gentle- +man at any time, enough of it would surely have +stuck to me to keep me out of partnership with a +man who cheats niggers." + +He takes another drink and says even twenty +years of running around the country couldn't of +took all the gentleman out of him like this, if he +had ever been one, fur you can break, you can scatter +the vase if you will, but the smell of the roses will +stick round it still. + +I seen now the kind of conversations he is always +having with himself when he gets jest so drunk +and is thinking hard. Only this time it happens +to be out loud. + +"What is a gentleman?" I asts him, thinking +if he wasn't one it might take his mind off himself a +little to tell me. "What MAKES one?" + +"Authorities differ," says Doctor Kirby, slouching +down in his chair, and grinning like he knowed a +joke he wasn't going to tell no one. "I heard +Doctor Jackson describe himself that way the other +day." + +Well, speaking personal, I never had smelled +none of roses. I wasn't nothing but trash myself, +so being a gentleman didn't bother me one way or +the other. The only reason I didn't want to see +them niggers bunked so very bad was only jest +because it was such a low-down, ornery kind of +trick. + +"It ain't too late," I says, "to pull out of this +nigger scheme yet and get into something more +honest." + +"I don't know," he says thoughtful. "I think +perhaps it IS too late." And he sets there looking +like a man that is going over a good many years +of life in his mind. Purty soon he says: + +"As far as honesty goes--it isn't that so much, +O Daniel-come-to-judgment! It's about as honest +as most medicine games. It's--" He stopped +and frowned agin. + +"What is it?" + +"It's their being NIGGERS," he says. + +That made the difference fur me, too. I dunno +how, nor why. + +"I've tried nearly everything but blackmail," +he says, "and I'll probably be trying that by this +time next year, if this scheme fails. But there's +something about their being niggers that makes +me sick of this thing already--just as the time +has come to make the start. And I don't know +WHY it should, either." He slipped another big +slug of whiskey into him, and purty soon he asts me: + +"Do you know what's the matter with me?" + +I asts him what. + +"I'm too decent to be a crook," he says, "and +too crooked to be decent. You've got to be one +thing or the other steady to make it pay." + +Then he says: + +"Did you ever hear of the descent to Avernus, +Danny?" + +"I might," I tells him, "and then agin I mightn't, +but if I ever did, I don't remember what she is. +What is she?" + +"It's the chute to the infernal regions," he says. +"They say it's greased. But it isn't. It's really +no easier sliding down than it is climbing +back." + +Well, I seen this nigger scheme of our'n wasn't +the only thing that was troubling Doctor Kirby +that night. It was thinking of all the schemes +like it in the years past he had went into, and how +he had went into 'em light-hearted and more'n +half fur fun when he was a young man, and now he +wasn't fitten fur nothing else but them kind of +schemes, and he knowed it. He was seeing himself +how he had been changing, like another person +could of seen it. That's the main trouble with +drinking to fergit yourself. You fergit the wrong +part of yourself. + +I left him purty soon, and went along to bed. +My room was next to his'n, and they was a door +between, so the two could be rented together if +wanted, I suppose. I went to sleep and woke up +agin with a start out of a dream that had in it +millions and millions and millions of niggers, every +way you looked, and their mouths was all open red +and their eyes walled white, fit to scare you out +of your shoes. + +I hearn Doctor Kirby moving around in his +room. But purty soon he sets down and begins +to talk to himself. Everything else was quiet. +I was kind of worried about him, he had taken so +much, and hoped he wouldn't get a notion to go +downtown that time o' night. So I thinks I will +see how he is acting, and steps over to the door be- +tween the rooms. + +The key happened to be on my side, and I un- +locked it. But she only opens a little ways, fur +his wash stand was near to the hinge end of the door. + +I looked through. He is setting by the table, +looking at a woman's picture that is propped up on +it, and talking to himself. He has never hearn +me open the door, he is so interested. But somehow, +he don't look drunk. He looks like he had fought +his way up out of it, somehow--his forehead was +sweaty, and they was one intoxicated lock of hair +sticking to it; but that was the only un-sober- +looking thing about him. I guess his legs would +of been unsteady if he had of tried to walk, but his +intellects was uncomfortable and sober. + +He is still keeping up that same old argument +with himself, or with the picture. + +"It isn't any use," I hearn him say, looking at +the picture. + +Then he listened like he hearn it answering him. +"Yes, you always say just that--just that," +he says. "And I don't know why I keep on listening +to you." + +The way he talked, and harkened fur an answer, +when they was nothing there to answer, give me +the creeps. + +"You don't help me," he goes on, "you don't +help me at all. You only make it harder. Yes, +this thing is worse than the others. I know that. +But I want money--and fool things like this HAVE +sometimes made it. No, I won't give it up. No, +there's no use making any more promises now. +I know myself now. And you ought to know me +by this time, too. Why can't you let me alone +altogether? I should think, when you see what I +am, you'd let me be. + +"God help you! if you'd only stay away it +wouldn't be so hard to go to hell!" + + + + + +CHAPTER XVI + + +There's a lot of counties in Georgia where +the blacks are equal in number to the +whites, and two or three counties where +the blacks number over the whites by two to one. +It was fur a little town in one of the latter that we +pinted ourselves, Doctor Kirby and me and Sam-- +right into the blackest part of the black belt. + +That country is full of big-sized plantations, +where they raise cotton, cotton, cotton, and then +MORE cotton. Some of 'em raises fruit, too, and +other things, of course; but cotton is the main +stand-by, and it looks like it always will be. + +Some places there shows that things can't be +so awful much changed since slavery days, and +most of the niggers are sure enough country niggers +yet. Some rents their land right out from the +owners, and some of 'em crops it on the shares, +and very many of 'em jest works as hands. A lot of +'em don't do nigh so well now as they did when their +bosses was their masters, they tell me; and then +agin, some has done right well on their own hook. +They intrusted me, because I never had been use +to looking at so many niggers. Every way you +turn there they is niggers and then more niggers. + +Them that thinks they is awful easy to handle +out of a natcheral respect fur white folks has got +another guess coming. They ain't so bad to get +along with if you keep it most pintedly shoved +into their heads they IS niggers. You got to do +that especial in the black belt, jest because they +IS so many of 'em. They is children all their lives, +mebby, till some one minute of craziness may +strike one of them, and then he is a devil temporary. +Mebby, when the crazy fit has passed, some white +woman is worse off than if she was dead, or mebby +she IS dead, or mebby a loonatic fur life, and that +nigger is a candidate fur a lynching bee and ginerally +elected by an anonymous majority. + +Not that ALL niggers is that-a-way, nor HALF of +'em, nor very MANY of 'em, even--but you can +never tell WHICH nigger is going to be. So in the +black belt the white folks is mighty pertic'ler who +comes along fooling with their niggers. Fur you +can never tell what turn a nigger's thoughts will +take, once anything at all stirs 'em up. + +We didn't know them things then, Doctor Kirby +and me didn't. We didn't know we was moving +light-hearted right into the middle of the biggest +question that has ever been ast. Which I disre- +member exactly how that nigger question is worded, +but they is always asting it in the South, and an- +swering of it different ways. We hadn't no idea +how suspicious the white people in them awful +black spots on the map can get over any one that +comes along talking to their niggers. We didn't +know anything about niggers much, being both +from the North, except what Doctor Kirby had +counted on when he made his medicine, and THAT +he knowed second-handed from other people. We +didn't take 'em very serious, nor all the talk we +hearn about 'em down South. + +But even at that we mightn't of got into any +trouble if it hadn't of been fur old Bishop Warren. +But that is getting ahead of the story. + +We got into that little town--I might jest as +well call it Cottonville--jest about supper time. +Cottonville is a little place of not more'n six hundred +people. I guess four hundred of 'em must be niggers. + +After supper we got acquainted with purty +nigh all the prominent citizens in town. They was +friendly with us, and we was friendly with them. +Georgia had jest went fur prohibition a few months +before that, and they hadn't opened up these here +near-beer bar-rooms in the little towns yet, like +they had in Atlanta and the big towns. Georgia +had went prohibition so the niggers couldn't get +whiskey, some said; but others said they didn't +know WHAT its excuse was. Them prominent +citizens was loafing around the hotel and every +now and then inviting each other very mysterious +into a back room that use to be a pool parlour. +They had been several jugs come to town by express +that day. We went back several times ourselves, +and soon began to get along purty well with them +prominent citizens. + +Talking about this and that they finally edges +around to the one thing everybody is sure to get +to talking about sooner or later in the South-- +niggers. And then they gets to telling us about +this here Bishop Warren I has mentioned. + +He was a nigger bishop, Bishop Warren was, +and had a good deal of white blood into him, they +say. An ashy-coloured nigger, with bumps on +his face, fat as a possum, and as cunning as a fox. +He had plenty of brains into his head, too; but his +brains had turned sour in his head the last few +years, and the bishop had crazy streaks running +through his sense now, like fat and lean mixed in a +slab of bacon. He used to be friends with a lot of +big white folks, and the whites depended on him at +one time to preach orderliness and obedience and +agriculture and being in their place to the niggers. +Fur years they thought he preached that-a-way. +He always DID preach that-a-way when any whites +was around, and he set on platforms sometimes +with white preachers, and he got good donations +fur schemes of different kinds. But gradual the +suspicion got around that when he was alone with +a lot of niggers his nigger blood would get the best +of him, and what he preached wasn't white su- +premacy at all, but hopefulness of being equal. + +So the whites had fell away from him, and then +his graft was gone, and then his brains turned sour +in his head and got to working and fermenting in it +like cider getting hard, and he made a few bad +breaks by not being careful what he said before +white people. But the niggers liked him all the +better fur that. + +They always had been more or less hell in the +bishop's heart. He had brains and he knowed it, +and the white folks had let him see THEY knowed +it, too. And he was part white, and his white +forefathers had been big men in their day, and yet, +in spite of all of that, he had to herd with niggers +and to pertend he liked it. He was both white and +black in his feelings about things, so some of his +feelings counterdicted others, and one of these +here race riots went on all the time in his own +insides. But gradual he got to the place where +they was spells he hated both whites and niggers, +but he hated the whites the worst. And now, in +the last two or three years, since his crazy streaks +had growed as big as his sensible streaks, or bigger, +they was no telling what he would preach to them +niggers. But whatever he preached most of them +would believe. It might be something crazy and +harmless, or it might be crazy and harmful. + +He had been holding some revival meetings in +nigger churches right there in that very county, +and was at it not fur away from there right then. +The idea had got around he was preaching some +most unusual foolishness to the blacks. Fur the +niggers was all acting like they knowed something +too good to mention to the white folks, all about +there. But some white men had gone to one of +the meetings, and the bishop had preached one of +his old-time sermons whilst they was there, telling +the niggers to be orderly and agriculturous--he +was considerable of a fox yet. But he and the rest +of the niggers was so DERNED anxious to be thought +agriculturous and servitudinous that the whites +smelt a rat, and wished he would go, fur they didn't +want to chase him without they had to. + +Jest when we was getting along fine one of them +prominent citizens asts the doctor was we there +figgering on buying some land? + +"No," says the doctor, "we wasn't." + +They was silence fur quite a little spell. Each +prominent citizen had mebby had his hopes of +unloading some. They all looks a little sad, and +then another prominent citizen asts us into the back +room agin. + +When we returns to the front room another promi- +nent citizen makes a little speech that was quite +beautiful to hear, and says mebby we represents +some new concern that ain't never been in them +parts and is figgering on buying cotton. + +"No," the doctor says, "we ain't cotton buyers." + +Another prominent citizen has the idea mebby +we is figgering on one of these here inter-Reuben +trolley lines, so the Rubes in one village can ride +over and visit the Rubes in the next. And another +one thinks mebby we is figgering on a telephone +line. And each one makes a very eloquent little +speech about them things, and rings in something +about our fair Southland. And when both of them +misses their guess it is time fur another visit to +the back room. + +Was we selling something? + +We was. + +Was we selling fruit trees? + +We wasn't. + +Finally, after every one has a chew of natcheral +leaf tobaccer all around, one prominent citizen +makes so bold as to ast us very courteous if he might +enquire what it was we was selling. + +The doctor says medicine. + +Then they was a slow grin went around that there +crowd of prominent citizens. And once agin we +has to make a trip to that back room. Fur they +are all sure we must be taking orders fur something +to beat that there prohibition game. When they +misses that guess they all gets kind of thoughtful +and sad. A couple of 'em don't take no more +interest in us, but goes along home sighing-like, +as if it wasn't no difference WHAT we sold as long as +it wasn't what they was looking fur. + +But purty soon one of them asts: + +"What KIND of medicine?" + +The doctor, he tells about it. + +When he finishes you never seen such a change +as had come onto the faces of that bunch. I +never seen such disgusted prominent citizens in +my hull life. They looked at each other embarrassed, +like they had been ketched at something ornery. +And they went out one at a time, saying good night +to the hotel-keeper and in the most pinted way +taking no notice of us at all. It certainly was a +chill. We sees something is wrong, and we begins +to have a notion of what it is. + +The hotel-keeper, he spits out his chew, and goes +behind his little counter and takes a five-cent cigar +out of his little show case and bites the end off +careful. Then he leans his elbows onto his counter +and reads our names to himself out of the register +book, and looks at us, and from us to the names, +and from the names to us, like he is trying to figger +out how he come to let us write 'em there. Then +he wants to know where we come from before we +come to Atlanta, where we had registered from. +We tells him we is from the North. He lights +his cigar like he didn't think much of that cigar +and sticks it in his mouth and looks at us so long +in an absent-minded kind of way it goes out. + +Then he says we orter go back North. + +"Why?" asts the doctor. + +He chewed his cigar purty nigh up to the middle +of it before he answered, and when he spoke it was +a soft kind of a drawl--not mad or loud--but +like they was sorrowful thoughts working in him. + +"Yo' all done struck the wo'st paht o' the South +to peddle yo' niggah medicine in, sah. I reckon +yo' must love 'em a heap to be that concehned +over the colour of their skins." + +And he turned his back on us and went into the +back room all by himself. + +We seen we was in wrong in that town. The +doctor says it will be no use trying to interduce +our stuff there, and we might as well leave there +in the morning and go over to Bairdstown, which +was a little place about ten miles off the railroad, +and make our start there. + +So we got a rig the next morning and drove +acrost the country. No one bid us good-bye, +neither, and Doctor Kirby says it's a wonder they +rented us the rig. + +But before we started that morning we noticed +a funny thing. We hadn't so much as spoke to +any nigger, except our own nigger Sam, and he +couldn't of told ALL the niggers in that town about +the stuff to turn niggers white, even if he had set +up all night to do it. But every last nigger we +saw looked like he knowed something about us. +Even after we left town our nigger driver hailed +two or three niggers in the road that acted that-a- +way. It seemed like they was all awful polite to +us. And yet they was different in their politeness +than they was to them Georgia folks, which is their +natcheral-born bosses--acted more familiar, some- +how, as if they knowed we must be thinking about +the same thing they was thinking about. + +About half-way to Bairdstown we stopped at a +place to get a drink of water. Seemingly the white +folks was away fur the day, and an old nigger come +up and talked to our driver while Sam and us was +at the well. + +I seen them cutting their eyes at us, whilst they +was unchecking the hosses to let them drink too, +and then I hearn the one that belonged there say: + +"Is yo' SUAH dat hit air dem?" + +"SUAH!" says the driver. + +"How-come yo' so all-powerful SUAH about hit?" + +The driver pertended the harness needed some +fixing, and they went around to the other side of the +team and tinkered with one of the traces, a-talking +to each other. I hearn the old nigger say, kind of +wonderized: + +"Is dey a-gwine dar NOW?" + +Sam, he was pulling a bucket of water up out of +the well fur us with a windlass. The doctor says +to him: + +"Sam, what does all this mean?" + +Sam, he pertends he don't know what the doctor +is talking about. But Doctor Kirby he finally +pins him down. Sam hemmed and hawed considera- +ble, making up his mind whether he better lie to +us or not. Then, all of a sudden, he busted out into +an awful fit of laughing, and like to of fell in the +well. Seemingly he decided fur to tell us the truth. + +From what Sam says that there bishop has been +holding revival meetings in Big Bethel, which is a +nigger church right on the edge of Bairdstown, +and niggers fur miles around has been coming night +after night, and some of them whooping her up +daytimes too. And the bishop has worked himself +up the last three or four nights to where he has +been perdicting and prophesying, fur the spirit +has hit the meeting hard. + +What he has been prophesying, Sam says, is +the coming of a Messiah fur the nigger race--a +new Elishyah, he says, as will lead them from +out'n their inequality and bring 'em up to white +standards right on the spot. The whites has had +their Messiah, the bishop says, but the niggers +ain't never had none of their SPECIAL OWN yet. +And they needs one bad, and one is sure a-coming. + +It seems the whites don't know yet jest what the +bishop's been a-preaching. But every nigger fur +miles on every side of Big Bethel is a-listening and +a-looking fur signs and omens, and has been fur +two, three days now. This here half-crazy bishop +has got 'em worked up to where they is ready +to believe anything, or do anything. + +So the night before when the word got out in +Cottonville that we had some scheme to make the +niggers white, the niggers there took up with the +idea that the doctor was mebby the feller the +bishop had been prophesying about, and for a sign +and a omen and a miracle of his grace and powers +was going out to Big Bethel to turn 'em white. +Poor devils, they didn't see but what being turned +white orter be a part of what they was to get from +the coming of that there Messiah. + +News spreads among niggers quicker than among +whites. No one knows how they do it. But I've +hearn tales about how when war times was there, +they would frequent have the news of a big fight +before the white folks' papers would. Soldiers +has told me that in them there Philippine Islands +we conquered from Spain, where they is so much +nigger blood mixed up with other kinds in the +islanders, this mysterious spreading around of +news is jest the same. And jest since nine o'clock +the night before, the news had spread fur miles +around that Bishop Warren's Messiah was on his +way, and was going fur to turn the bishop white +to show his power and grace, and he had with him +one he had turned part white, and that was Sam, +and one he had turned clear white, and that was me. +And they was to be signs and wonders to behold +at Big Bethel, with pillars of cloud and sounds of +trumpets and fire squirting down from heaven, +like it always use to be in them old Bible days, and +them there niggers to be led singing and shouting +and rejoicing into a land of milk and honey, forever- +more, AMEN! + +That's what Sam says they are looking fur, +dozens and scores and hundreds of them niggers +round about. Sam, he had lived in town five or +six years, and he looked down on all these here +ignoramus country niggers. So he busts out laugh- +ing at first, and he pertends like he don't take no +stock in any of it. Besides, he knowed well enough +he wasn't spotted up by no Messiah, but it was the +dope in the bottles done it. But as he told about +them goings-on Sam got more and more interested +and warmed up to it, and his voice went into a kind +of a sing-song like he was prophesying himself. +And the other two niggers quit pertending to +fool around the team and edged a little closeter, +and a little closeter yet, with their mouths open +and their heads a-nodding and the whites of their +eyes a-rolling. + +Fur my part, I never hearn such a lot of dern +foolishness in all my life. But the doctor, he says +nothing at all. He listens to Sam ranting and rolling +out big words and raving, and only frowns. He +climbs back into the buggy agin silent, and all the +rest of the way to Bairdstown he set there with +that scowl on his face. I guesses he was thinking +now, the way things had shaped up, he wouldn't +sell none of his stuff at all without he fell right in +with the reception chance had planned fur him. +But if he did fall in with it, and pertend like he was +a Messiah to them niggers, he could get all they +had. He was mebby thinking how much ornerier +that would make the hull scheme. + + + + + +CHAPTER XVII + + +We got to Bairdstown early enough, but +we didn't go to work there. We wasted +all that day. They was something work- +ing in the doctor's head he wasn't talking about. +I supposed he was getting cold feet on the hull +proposition. Anyhow, he jest set around the little +tavern in that place and done nothing all afternoon. + +The weather was fine, and we set out in front. +We hadn't set there more'n an hour till I could +tell we was being noticed by the blacks, not +out open and above board. But every now and +then one or two or three would pass along down +the street, and lazy about and take a look at us. +They pertended they wasn't noticing, but they was. +The word had got around, and they was a feeling +in the air I didn't like at all. Too much caged-up +excitement among the niggers. The doctor felt +it too, I could see that. But neither one of us said +anything about it to the other. + +Along toward dusk we takes a walk. They was +a good-sized crick at the edge of that little place, +and on it an old-fashioned worter mill. Above +the mill a little piece was a bridge. We crossed it +and walked along a road that follered the crick +bank closte fur quite a spell. + +It wasn't much of a town--something betwixt a +village and a settlement--although they was going +to run a branch of the railroad over to it before very +long. It had had a chancet to get a railroad once, +years before that. But it had said then it didn't +want no railroad. So until lately every branch +built through that part of the country grinned +very sarcastic and give it the go-by. + +They was considerable woods standing along the +crick, and around a turn in the road we come onto +Sam, all of a sudden, talking with another nigger. +Sam was jest a-laying it off to that nigger, but he +kind of hushed as we come nearer. Down the +road quite a little piece was a good-sized wooden +building that never had been painted and looked +like it was a big barn. Without knowing it the +doctor and me had been pinting ourselves right +toward Big Bethel. + +The nigger with Sam he yells out, when he sees +us: + +"Glory be! HYAH dey comes! Hyah dey comes +NOW!" + +And he throwed up his arms, and started on a +lope up the road toward the church, singing out +every ten or fifteen yards. A little knot of niggers +come out in front of the church when they hearn +him coming. + +Sam, he stood his ground, and waited fur us to +come up to him, kind of apologetic and sneaking- +looking about something or other. + +"What kind of lies have you been telling these +niggers, Sam?" says the doctor, very sharp and short +and mad-like. + +Sam, he digs a stone out'n the road with the toe +of his shoe, and kind of grins to himself, still looking +sheepish. But he says he opinionates he been telling +them nothing at all. + +"I dunno how-come dey get all dem nigger notions +in dey fool haid," Sam says, "but dey all waitin' +dar inside de chu'ch do'--some of de mos' faiful +an' de mos' pra'rful ones o' de Big Bethel cong'gation +been dar fo' de las' houah a-waitin' an' a-watchin', +spite o' de fac' dat reg'lah meetin' ain't gwine ter +be called twell arter supper. De bishop, he dar +too. Dey got some dese hyah coal-ile lamps dar +des inside de chu'ch do' an' dey been keepin' on +'em lighted, daytimes an' night times, fo' two days +now, kaze dey say dey ain't gwine fo' ter be cotched +napping when de bridegroom COMeth. Yass, SAH!-- +dey's ten o' dese hyah vergims dar, five of 'em +sleepin' an' five of 'em watchin', an' a-takin' tuhns +at hit, an' mebby dat how-come free or fouah dey +bes' young colo'hed mens been projickin' aroun' +dar all arternoon, a-helpin' dem dat's a-waitin' +twell de bridegroom COM eth!" + +We seen a little knot of them, down the road there +in front of the church, gathering around the nigger +that had been with Sam. They all starts toward +us. But one man steps out in front of them all, +and turns toward them and holds his hands up, and +waves them back. They all stops in their tracks. + +Then he turns his face toward us, and comes slow +and sollum down the road in our direction, walking +with a cane, and moving very dignified. He was +a couple of hundred yards away. + +But as he come closeter we gradually seen him +plainer and plainer. He was a big man, and stout, +and dressed very neat in the same kind of rig as +white bishops wear, with one of these white collars +that buttons in the back. I suppose he was coming +on to meet us alone, because no one was fitten fur +to give us the first welcome but himself. + +Well, it was all dern foolishness, and it was hard +to believe it could all happen, and they ain't so +many places in this here country it COULD happen. +But fur all of it being foolishness, when he come +down the road toward us so dignified and sollum +and slow I ketched myself fur a minute feeling like +we really had been elected to something and was +going to take office soon. And Sam, as the bishop +come closeter and closeter, got to jerking and +twitching with the excitement that he had been +keeping in--and yet all the time Sam knowed it +was dope and works and not faith that had made +him spotted that-a-way. + +He stops, the bishop does, about ten yards from +us and looks us over. + +"Ah yo' de gennleman known ter dis hyah sinful +genehation by de style an' de entitlemint o' Docto' +Hahtley Kirby?" he asts the doctor very ceremoni- +ous and grand. + +The doctor give him a look that wasn't very +encouraging, but he nodded to him. + +"Will yo' dismiss yo' sehvant in ordeh dat we +kin hol' convehse an' communion in de midst er +privacy?" + +The doctor, he nods to Sam, and Sam moseys +along toward the church. + +"Now, then," says the doctor, sudden and sharp, +"take off your hat and tell me what you want." + +The bishop's hand goes up to his head with a jerk +before he thought. Then it stops there, while him +and the doctor looks at each other. The bishop's +mouth opens like he was wondering, but he slowly +pulls his hat off and stands there bare-headed in the +road. But he wasn't really humble, that bishop. + +"Now," says the doctor, "tell me in as straight +talk as you've got what all this damned foolishness +among you niggers means." + +A queer kind of look passed over the bishop's +face. He hadn't expected to be met jest that way, +mebby. Whether he himself had really believed +in the coming of that there new Messiah he had been +perdicting, I never could settle in my mind. Mebby +he had been getting ready to pass HIMSELF off fur +one before we come along and the niggers all got +the fool idea Doctor Kirby was it. Before the +bishop spoke agin you could see his craziness and +his cunningness both working in his face. But +when he did speak he didn't quit being ceremonious +nor dignified. + +"De wohd has gone fo'th among de faiful an' +de puah in heaht," he says, "dat er man has come +accredited wi' signs an' wi' mahvels an' de poweh +o' de sperrit fo' to lay his han' on de sons o' Ham +an' ter make 'em des de same in colluh as de yuther +sons of ea'th." + +"Then that word is a lie," says the doctor. "I +DID come here to try out some stuff to change the +colour of negro skins. That's all. And I find +your idiotic followers are all stirred up and waiting +for some kind of a miracle monger. What you have +been preaching to them, you know best. Is that +all you want to know?" + +The bishop hems and haws and fiddles with his +stick, and then he says: + +"Suh, will dish yeah prepa'shun SHO'LY do de +wohk?" Doctor Kirby tells him it will do the +work all right. + +And then the bishop, after beating around the +bush some more, comes out with his idea. Whether +he expected there would be any Messiah come or +not, of course he knowed the doctor wasn't him. +But he is willing to boost the doctor's game as long +as it boosts HIS game. He wants to be in on the +deal. He wants part of the graft. He wants to +get together with the doctor on a plan before the +doctor sees the niggers. And if the doctor don't +want to keep on with the miracle end of it, the bishop +shows him how he could do him good with no +miracle attachment. Fur he has an awful holt +on them niggers, and his say-so will sell thousands +and thousands of bottles. What he is looking fur +jest now is his little take-out. + +That was his craftiness and his cunningness +working in him. But all of a sudden one of his +crazy streaks come bulging to the surface. It come +with a wild, eager look in his eyes. + +"Suh," he cries out, all of a sudden, "ef yo' kin +make me white, fo' Gawd sakes, do hit! Do hit! +Ef yo' does, I gwine ter bless yo' all yo' days! + +"Yo' don' know--no one kin guess or comper- +hen'--what des bein' white would mean ter me! +Lawd! Lawd!" he says, his voice soft-spoken, +but more eager than ever as he went on, and plead- +ing something pitiful to hear, "des think of all de +Caucasian blood in me! Gawd knows de nights +er my youth I'se laid awake twell de dawn come +red in de Eas' a-cryin' out ter Him only fo' ter be +white! DES TER BE WHITE! Don' min' dem black, +black niggers dar--don' think er DEM--dey ain't +wuth nothin' nor fitten fo' no fate but what dey +got-- But me! What's done kep' me from gwine +ter de top but dat one thing: _I_ WASN'T WHITE! Hit +air too late now--too late fo' dem ambitions I +done trifle with an' shove behin' me--hit's too +late fo' dat! But ef I was des ter git one li'l +year o' hit--ONE LI'L YEAR O' BEIN' WHITE!--befo' +I died--" + +And he went on like that, shaking and stuttering +there in the road, like a fit had struck him, crazy +as a loon. But he got hold of himself enough to +quit talking, in a minute, and his cunning come +back to him before he was through trembling. +Then the doctor says slow and even, but not severe: + +"You go back to your people now, bishop, and +tell them they've made a mistake about me. And +if you can, undo the harm you've done with this +Messiah business. As far as this stuff of mine is +concerned, there's none of it for you nor for any +other negro. You tell them that. There's none +of it been sold yet--and there never will be." + +Then we turned away and left him standing there +in the road, still with his hat off and his face +working. + +Walking back toward the little tavern the doctor +says: + +"Danny, this is the end of this game. These +people down here and that half-cracked, half- +crooked old bishop have made me see a few things +about the Afro-American brother. It wasn't a +good scheme in the first place. And this wasn't the +place to start it going, anyhow--I should have +tried the niggers in the big towns. But I'm out of +it now, and I'm glad of it. What we want to do is to +get away from here to-morrow--go back to Atlanta +and fix up a scheme to rob some widows and orphans, +or something half-way respectable like that." + +Well, I drew a long breath. I was with Doctor +Kirby in everything he done, fur he was my friend, +and I didn't intend to quit him. But I was glad +we was out of this, and hadn't sold none of that +dope. We both felt better because we hadn't. +All them millions we was going to make--shucks! +We didn't neither one of us give a dern about them +getting away from us. All we wanted was jest to +get away from there and not get mixed up with +no nigger problems any more. We eat supper, +and we set around a while, and we went to bed +purty middling early, so as to get a good start +in the morning. + +We got up early, but early as it was the devil had +been up earlier in that neighbourhood. About +four o'clock that morning a white woman about +a half a mile from the village had been attacked +by a nigger. They was doubt as to whether she +would live, but if she lived they wasn't no doubts +she would always be more or less crazy. Fur +besides everything else, he had beat her insensible. +And he had choked her nearly to death. The +country-side was up, with guns and pistols look- +ing fur that nigger. It wasn't no trouble guessing +what would happen to him when they ketched +him, neither. + +"And," says Doctor Kirby, when we hearn of +it, "I hope to high heaven they DO catch him!" + +They wasn't much doubt they would, either. +They was already beating up the woods and bushes +and gangs was riding up and down the roads, and +every nigger's house fur miles around was being +searched and watched. + +We soon seen we would have trouble getting +hosses and a rig in the village to take us to the +railroad. Many of the hosses was being ridden in +the man-hunt. And most of the men who might +have done the driving was busy at that too. The +hotel-keeper himself had left his place standing +wide open and went out. We didn't get any break- +fast neither. + +"Danny," says the doctor, "we'll just put enough +money to pay the bill in an envelope on the register +here, and strike out on shank's ponies. It's only +nine or ten miles to the railroad--we'll walk." + +"But how about our stuff?" I asts him. We +had two big cases full of sample bottles of that dope, +besides our suit cases. + +"Hang the dope!" says the doctor, "I don't +ever want to see it or hear of it again! We'll leave +it here. Put the things out of your suit case into +mine, and leave that here too. Sam can carry +mine. I want to be on the move." + +So we left, with Sam carrying the one suit case. +It wasn't nine in the morning yet, and we was +starting out purty empty fur a long walk. + +"Sam," says the doctor, as we was passing that +there Big Bethel church--and it showed up there +silent and shabby in the morning, like a old coloured +man that knows a heap more'n he's going to tell-- +"Sam, were you at the meeting here last night?" + +"Yass, suh!" + +"I suppose it was a pretty tame affair after they +found out their Elisha wasn't coming after all?" + +Sam, he walled his eyes, and then he kind of +chuckled. + +"Well, suh," he says, "I 'spicions de mos' on 'em +don' know dat YIT!" + +The doctor asts him what he means. + +It seems the bishop must of done some thinking +after we left him in the road or on his way back to +that church. They had all begun to believe that +there Elishyah was on the way to 'em, and the +bishop's credit was more or less wrapped up with +our being it. It was true he hadn't started that +belief; but it was believed, and he didn't dare to +stop it now. Fur, if he stopped it, they would all +think he had fell down on his prophetics, even +although he hadn't prophesied jest exactly us. +He was in a tight place, that bishop, but I bet you +could always depend on him to get out of it with his +flock. So what he told them niggers at the meeting +last night was that he brung 'em a message from +Elishyah, Sam says, the Elishyah that was to come. +And the message was that the time was not ripe +fur him to reveal himself as Elishyah unto the eyes +of all men, fur they had been too much sinfulness +and wickedness and walking into the ways of evil, +right amongst that very congregation, and disobedi- +ence of the bishop, which was their guide. And +he had sent 'em word, Elishyah had, that the bishop +was his trusted servant, and into the keeping of the +bishop was give the power to deal with his people +and prepare them fur the great day to come. And +the bishop would give the word of his coming. He +was a box, that bishop was, in spite of his crazy +streaks; and he had found a way to make himself +stronger than ever with his bunch out of the very +kind of thing that would have spoiled most people's +graft. They had had a big meeting till nearly +morning, and the power had hit 'em strong. Sam +told us all about it. + +But the thing that seemed to interest the doctor, +and made him frown, was the idea that all them +niggers round about there still had the idea he was +the feller that had been prophesied to come. All +except Sam, mebby. Sam had spells when he was +real sensible, and other spells when he was as bad +as the believingest of them all. + +It was a fine day, and really joyous to be a-walking. +It would of been a good deal joyouser if we had had +some breakfast, but we figgered we would stop +somewheres at noon and lay in a good, square, +country meal. + +That wasn't such a very thick settled country. +But everybody seemed to know about the man- +hunt that was going on, here, there, and everywhere. +People would come down to the road side as we +passed, and gaze after us. Or mebby ast us if +we knowed whether he had been ketched yet. +Women and kids mostly, or old men, but now +and then a younger man too. We noticed they +wasn't no niggers to speak of that wasn't +busier'n all get out, working at something or +other, that day. + +They is considerable woods in that country yet, +though lots has been cut off. But they was some- +times right long stretches where they would be +woods on both sides of the road, more or less thick, +with underbrush between the trees. We tramped +along, each busy thinking his own thoughts, and +having a purty good time jest doing that without +there being no use of talking. I was thinking that +I liked the doctor better fur turning his back on all +this game, jest when he might of made some sort +of a deal with the bishop and really made some +money out of it in the end. He never was so good +a business man as he thought he was, Doctor +Kirby wasn't. He always could make himself +think he was. But when it come right down +to brass tacks he wasn't. You give him a scheme +that would TALK well, the kind of a josh talk he liked +to get off fur his own enjoyment, and he would take +up with it every time instead of one that had more +promise of money to it if it was worked harder. +He was thinking of the TALK more'n he was of the +money, mostly; and he was always saying some- +thing about art fur art's sake, which was plumb +foolishness, fur he never painted no pictures. Well, +he never got over being more or less of a puzzle +to me. But fur some reason or other this morning +he seemed to be in a better humour with himself, +after we had walked a while, than I had seen him +in fur a long time. + +We come to the top of one long hill, which it had +made us sweat to climb, and without saying nothing +to each other we both stopped and took off our +hats and wiped our foreheads, and drawed long +breaths, content to stand there fur jest a minute +or two and look around us. The road run straight +ahead, and dipped down, and then clumb up +another hill about an eighth of a mile in front of +us. It made a little valley. Jest about the middle, +between the two hills, a crick meandered through +the bottom land. Woods growed along the crick, +and along both sides of the road we was travelling. +Right nigh the crick they was another road come +out of the woods to the left-hand side, and switched +into the road we was travelling, and used the same +bridge to cross the crick by. They was three or +four houses here and there, with chimbleys built +up on the outside of them, and blue smoke coming +out. We stood and looked at the sight before us +and forgot all the troubles we had left behind, fur +a couple of minutes--it all looked so peaceful +and quiet and homeyfied and nice. + +"Well," says the doctor, after we had stood +there a piece, "I guess we better be moving on again, +Danny." + +But jest as Sam, who was follering along behind +with that suit case, picks it up and puts it on his head +agin, they come a sound, from away off in the distance +somewheres, that made him set it down quick. And +we all stops in our tracks and looks at each other. + +It was the voice of a hound dog--not so awful +loud, but clear and mellow and tuneful, and carried +to us on the wind. And then in a minute it come +agin, sharper and quicker. They yells like that +when they have struck a scent. + +As we stood and looked at each other they come +a crackle in the underbrush, jest to the left of us. +We turned our heads that-a-way, jest as a nigger +man give a leap to the top of a rail fence that +separated the road from the woods. He was going +so fast that instead of climbing that fence and bal- +ancing on the top and jumping off he jest simply +seemed to hit the top rail and bounce on over, like +he had been throwed out of the heart of the woods, +and he fell sprawling over and over in the road, +right before our feet. + +He was onto his feet in a second, and fur a minute +he stood up straight and looked at us--an ashes- +coloured nigger, ragged and bleeding from the under- +brush, red-eyed, and with slavers trickling from his +red lips, and sobbing and gasping and panting fur +breath. Under his brown skin, where his shirt +was torn open acrost his chest, you could see that +nigger's heart a-beating. + +But as he looked at us they come a sudden change +acrost his face--he must of seen the doctor before, +and with a sob he throwed himself on his knees in +the road and clasped his hands and held 'em out +toward Doctor Kirby. + +"ELISHyah! ELISHyah!" he sings out, rocking +of his body in a kind of tune, "reveal yo'se'f, reveal +yo'se'f an' he'p me NOW! Lawd Gawd ELISHyah, +beckon fo' a CHA'iot, yo' cha'iot of FIAH! Lif' me, +lif' me--lif' me away f'um hyah in er cha'iot o' FIAH!" + +The doctor, he turned his head away, and I +knowed the thought working in him was the thought +of that white woman that would always be an +idiot for life, if she lived. But his lips was dumb, +and his one hand stretched itself out toward that +nigger in the road and made a wiping motion, like +he was trying fur to wipe the picture of him, and +the thought of him, off'n a slate forevermore. + +Jest then, nearer and louder and sharper, and +with an eager sound, like they knowed they almost +had him now, them hounds' voices come ringing +through the woods, and with them come the mixed- +up shouts of men. + +"RUN!" yells Sam, waving of that suit case round +his head, fur one nigger will always try to help +another no matter what he's done. "Run fo' de +branch--git yo' foots in de worter an' fling 'em +off de scent!" + +He bounded down the hill, that red-eyed nigger, +and left us standing there. But before he reached +the crick the whole man-hunt come busting through +the woods, the dogs a-straining at their straps. +The men was all on foot, with guns and pistols in +their hands. They seen the nigger, and they all +let out a yell, and was after him. They ketched +him at the crick, and took him off along that road +that turned off to the left. I hearn later he was a +member of Bishop Warren's congregation, so they +hung him right in front of Big Bethel church. + +We stood there on top of the hill and saw the +chase and capture. Doctor Kirby's face was +sweating worse than when we first clumb the hill. +He was thinking about that nigger that had pleaded +with him. He was thinking also of the woman. +He was glad it hadn't been up to him personal +right then and there to butt in and stop a lynching. +He was glad, fur with them two pictures in front +of him he didn't know what he would of done. + +"Thank heaven!" I hearn him say to himself. +"Thank heaven that it wasn't REALLY in my power +to choose!" + + + + + +CHAPTER XVIII + + +Well, we had pork and greens fur dinner +that day, with the best corn-bread I ever +eat anywheres, and buttermilk, and sweet +potato pie. We got 'em at the house of a feller +named Withers--Old Daddy Withers. Which if +they was ever a nicer old man than him, or a nicer +old woman than his wife, I never run acrost 'em yet. + +They lived all alone, them Witherses, with only +a couple of niggers to help them run their farm. +After we eats our dinner and Sam gets his'n out to the +kitchen, we sets out in front of the house and gets +to talking with them, and gets real well acquainted. +Which we soon found out the secret of old Daddy +Withers's life--that there innocent-looking old +jigger was a poet. He was kind of proud of it and +kind of shamed of it both to oncet. The way +it come out was when the doctor says one of them +quotations he is always getting off, and the old man +he looks pleased and says the rest of the piece it +dropped out of straight through. + +Then they had a great time quoting it at each +other, them two, and I seen the doctor is good to +loaf around there the rest of the day, like as not. +Purty soon the old lady begins to get mighty proud- +looking over something or other, and she leans over +and whispers to the old man: + +"Shall I bring it out, Lemuel?" + +The old man, he shakes his head, no. But she +slips into the house anyhow, and fetches out a +little book with a pale green cover to it, and hands +it to the doctor. + +"Bless my soul," says Doctor Kirby, looking at +the old man, "you don't mean to say you write +verse yourself?" + +The old man, he gets red all over his face, and up +into the roots of his white hair, and down into his +white beard, and makes believe he is a little mad at +the old lady fur showing him off that-a-way. + +"Mother," he says, "yo' shouldn't have done +that!" They had had a boy years before, and he +had died, but he always called her mother the same +as if the boy was living. He goes into the house +and gets his pipe, and brings it out and lights it, +acting like that book of poetry was a mighty small +matter to him. But he looks at Doctor Kirby out +of the corner of his eyes, and can't keep from getting +sort of eager and trembly with his pipe; and I could +see he was really anxious over what the doctor was +thinking of them poems he wrote. The doctor +reads some of 'em out loud. + +Well, it was kind of home-made poetry, Old Daddy +Withers's was. It wasn't like no other poetry I ever +struck. And I could tell the doctor was thinking +the same about it. It sounded somehow like it +hadn't been jointed together right. You would +keep listening fur it to rhyme, and get all worked up +watching and waiting fur it to, and make bets with +yourself whether it would rhyme or it wouldn't. +And then it ginerally wouldn't. I never hearn +such poetry to get a person's expectances all worked +up, and then go back on 'em. But if you could +of told what it was all about, you wouldn't of minded +that so much. Not that you can tell what most +poetry is about, but you don't care so long as +it keeps hopping along lively. What you want in +poetry to make her sound good, according to my +way of thinking, is to make her jump lively, and +then stop with a bang on the rhymes. But Daddy +Withers was so independent-like he would jest +natcherally try to force two words to rhyme whether +the Lord made 'em fur mates or not--like as if +you would try to make a couple of kids kiss and +make up by bumping their heads together. They +jest simply won't do it. But Doctor Kirby, he +let on like he thought it was fine poetry, and he +read them pieces over and over agin, out loud, and +the old man and the old woman was both mighty +tickled with the way he done it. He wouldn't +of had 'em know fur anything he didn't believe it +was the finest poetry ever wrote, Doctor Kirby +wouldn't. + +They was four little books of it altogether. Slim +books that looked as if they hadn't had enough to +eat, like a stray cat whose ribs is rubbing together. +It had cost Daddy Withers five hundred dollars +apiece to get 'em published. A feller in Boston +charged him that much, he said. It seems he would +go along fur years, raking and scraping of his money +together, so as to get enough ahead to get out another +book. Each time he had his hopes the big news- +papers would mebby pay some attention to it, and +he would get recognized. + +"But they never did," said the old man, kind of +sad, "it always fell flat." + +"Why, FATHER!"--the old lady begins, and finishes +by running back into the house agin. She is out +in a minute with a clipping from a newspaper and +hands it over to Doctor Kirby, as proud as a kid +with copper-toed boots. The doctor reads it all +the way through, and then he hands it back without +saying a word. The old lady goes away to fiddle +around about the housework purty soon and the +old man looks at the doctor and says: + +"Well, you see, don't you?" + +"Yes," says the doctor, very gentle. + +"I wouldn't have HER know for the world," says +Daddy Withers. "_I_ know and YOU know that news- +paper piece is just simply poking fun at my poetry, +and making a fool of me, the whole way through. +As soon as I read it over careful I saw it wasn't +really praise, though there was a minute or two I +thought my recognition had come. But SHE don't +know it ain't serious from start to finish. SHE was +all-mighty pleased when that piece come out in +print. And I don't intend she ever shall know it +ain't real praise." + +His wife was so proud when that piece come out +in that New York paper, he said, she cried over it. +She said now she was glad they had been doing +without things fur years and years so they could +get them little books printed, one after the other, +fur now fame was coming. But sometimes, Daddy +Withers says, he suspicions she really knows he has +been made a fool of, and is pertending not to see it, +fur his sake, the same as he is pertending fur HER +sake. Well, they was a mighty nice old couple, +and the doctor done a heap of pertending fur both +their sakes--they wasn't nothing else to do. + +"How'd you come to get started at it?" he asts. + +Daddy Withers says he don't rightly know. +Mebby, he says, it was living there all his life and +watching things growing--watching the cotton +grow, and the corn and getting acquainted with +birds and animals and trees and things. Helping +of things to grow, he says, is a good way to under- +stand how God must feel about humans. For +what you plant and help to grow, he says, you are +sure to get to caring a heap about. You can't +help it. And that is the reason, he says, God can +be depended on to pull the human race through in +the end, even if appearances do look to be agin His +doing it sometimes, fur He started it to growing +in the first place and that-a-way He got interested +personal in it. And that is the main idea, he says, +he has all the time been trying to get into that there +poetry of his'n. But he reckons he ain't got her in. +Leastways, he says, no one has never seen her there +but the doctor and the old lady and himself. Well, +for my part, I never would of seen it there myself, +but when he said it out plain like that any one could +of told what he meant. + +You hadn't orter lay things up agin folks if the +folks can't help 'em. And I will say Daddy Withers +was a fine old boy in spite of his poetry. Which +it never really done any harm, except being expensive +to him, and lots will drink that much up and never +figger it an expense, but one of the necessities of +life. We went all over his place with him, and we +noticed around his house a lot of tin cans tacked +up to posts and trees. They was fur the birds to +drink out of, and all the birds around there had +found out about it, and about Daddy Withers, and +wasn't scared of him at all. He could get acquainted +with animals, too, so that after a long spell sometimes +they would even let him handle them. But not if +any one was around. They was a crow he had made +a pet of, used to hop around in front of him, and try +fur to talk to him. If he went to sleep in the front +yard whilst he was reading, that crow had a favour- +ite trick of stealing his spectacles off'n his nose and +flying up to the ridgepole of the house, and cawing +at him. Once he had been setting out a row of +tomato plants very careful, and he got to the end +of the row and turned around, and that there crow +had been hopping along behind very sollum, pulling +up each plant as he set it out. It acted like it had +done something mighty smart, and knowed it, +that crow. So after that the old man named him +Satan, fur he said it was Satan's trick to keep things +from growing. They was some blue and white +pigeons wasn't scared to come and set on his shoul- +ders; but you could see the old man really liked +that crow Satan better'n any of them. + +Well, we hung around all afternoon listening to +the old man talk, and liking him better and better. +First thing we knowed it was getting along toward +supper time. And nothing would do but we must +stay to supper, too. We was pinted toward a +place on the railroad called Smithtown, but when +we found we couldn't get a train from there till ten +o'clock that night anyhow, and it was only three +miles away, we said we'd stay. + +After supper we calculated we'd better move. +But the old man wouldn't hear of us walking that +three miles. So about eight o'clock he hitched up +a mule to a one-hoss wagon, and we jogged along. + +They was a yaller moon sneaking up over the +edge of the world when we started. It was so low +down in the sky yet that it threw long shadders +on the road, and they was thick and black ones, too. +Because they was a lot of trees alongside the road, +and the road was narrow, we went ahead mostly +through the darkness, with here and there patches +of moonlight splashed onto the ground. Doctor +Kirby and Old Man Withers was setting on the +seat, still gassing away about books and things, +and I was setting on the suit case in the wagon box +right behind 'em. Sam, he was sometimes in the +back of the wagon. He had been more'n half +asleep all afternoon, but now it was night he was +waked up, the way niggers and cats will do, and +every once in a while he would get out behind and +cut a few capers in a moonlight patch, jest fur +the enjoyment of it, and then run and ketch up +with the wagon and crawl in agin, fur it was going +purty slow. + +The ground was sandy in spots, and I guess we +made a purty good load fur Beck, the old mule. +She stopped, going up a little slope, after we had +went about a mile from the Witherses'. Sam says +he'll get out and walk, fur the wheels was in purty +deep, and it was hard going. + +"Giddap, Beck!" says the old man. + +But Beck, she won't. She don't stand like she +is stuck, neither, but like she senses danger some- +wheres about. A hoss might go ahead into danger, +but a mule is more careful of itself and never goes +butting in unless it feels sure they is a way out. + +"Giddap," says the old man agin. + +But jest then the shadders on both sides of the +road comes to life. They wakes up, and moves all +about us. It was done so sudden and quiet it was +half a minute before I seen it wasn't shadders but +about thirty men had gathered all about us on +every side. They had guns. + +"Who are you? What d'ye want?" asts the old +man, startled, as three or four took care of the +mule's head very quick and quiet. + +"Don't be skeered, Daddy Withers," says a drawly +voice out of the dark; "we ain't goin' to hurt YOU. +We got a little matter o' business to tend to with +them two fellers yo' totin' to town." + + + + + +CHAPTER XIX + + +Thirty</i> men with guns would be consider- +able of a proposition to buck against, so we +didn't try it. They took us out of the +wagon, and they pinted us down the road, steering +us fur a country schoolhouse which was, I judged +from their talk, about a quarter of a mile away. +They took us silent, fur after we found they didn't +answer no questions we quit asking any. We +jest walked along, and guessed what we was up +against, and why. Daddy Withers, he trailed along +behind. They had tried to send him along home, +but he wouldn't go. So they let him foller and +paid no more heed to him. + +Sam, he kept a-talking and a-begging, and +several men a-telling of him to shut up. And him +not a-doing it. Till finally one feller says very +disgusted-like: + +"Boys, I'm going to turn this nigger loose." + +"We'll want his evidence," says another one. + +"Evidence!" says the first one. "What's the +evidence of a scared nigger worth?" + +"I reckon that one this afternoon was consider- +able scared, when he give us that evidence against +himself--that is, if you call it evidence." + +"A nigger can give evidence against a nigger, +and it's all right," says another voice--which it +come from a feller that had a-holt of my wrist on +the left-hand side of me--"but these are white +men we are going to try to-night. The case is too +serious to take nigger evidence. Besides, I reckon +we got all the evidence any one could need. This +nigger ain't charged with any crime himself, and +my idea is that he ain't to be allowed to figure one +way or the other in this thing." + +So they turned Sam loose. I never seen nor +hearn tell of Sam since then. They fired a couple +of guns into the air as he started down the road, +jest fur fun, and mebby he is running yet. + +The feller had been talking like he was a lawyer, +so I asts him what crime we was charged with. But +he didn't answer me. And jest then we gets in +sight of that schoolhouse. + +It set on top of a little hill, partially in the moon- +light, with a few sad-looking pine trees scattered +around it, and the fence in front broke down. +Even after night you could see it was a shabby- +looking little place. + +Old Daddy Withers tied his mule to the broken +down fence. Somebody busted the front door +down. Somebody else lighted matches. The first +thing I knowed, we was all inside, and four or five +dirty little coal oil lamps, with tin reflectors to 'em, +which I s'pose was used ordinary fur school exhibi- +tions, was being lighted. + +We was waltzed up onto the teacher's platform, +Doctor Kirby and me, and set down in chairs there, +with two men to each of us, and then a tall, raw- +boned feller stalks up to the teacher's desk, and +raps on it with the butt end of a pistol, and says: + +"Gentlemen, this meeting will come to order." + +Which they was orderly enough before that, +but they all took off their hats when he rapped, +like in a court room or a church, and most of 'em +set down. + +They set down in the school kids' seats, or on top +of the desks, and their legs stuck out into the aisles, +and they looked uncomfortable and awkward. But +they looked earnest and they looked sollum, too, +and they wasn't no joking nor skylarking going +on, nor no kind of rowdyness, neither. These +here men wasn't toughs, by any manner of means, +but the most part of 'em respectable farmers. They +had a look of meaning business. + +"Gentlemen," says the feller who had rapped, +"who will you have for your chairman?" + +"I reckon you'll do, Will," says another feller +to the raw-boned man, which seemed to satisfy +him. But he made 'em vote on it before he took +office. + +"Now then," says Will, "the accused must have +counsel." + +"Will," says another feller, very hasty, "what's +the use of all this fuss an' feathers? You know as +well as I do there's nothing legal about this. It's +only necessary. For my part--" + +"Buck Hightower," says Will, pounding on the +desk, "you will please come to order." Which +Buck done it. + +"Now," says the chairman, turning toward +Doctor Kirby, who had been setting there looking +thoughtful from one man to another, like he was +sizing each one up, "now I must explain to the +chief defendant that we don't intend to lynch him." + +He stopped a second on that word LYNCH as if +to let it soak in. The doctor, he bowed toward +him very cool and ceremonious, and says, mocking +of him: + +"You reassure me, Mister--Mister--What is +your name?" He said it in a way that would of +made a saint mad. + +"My name ain't any difference," says Will, trying +not to show he was nettled. + +"You are quite right," says the doctor, looking +Will up and down from head to foot, very slow and +insulting, "it's of no consequence in the world." + +Will, he flushed up, but he makes himself steady +and cool, and he goes on with his little speech: +"There is to be no lynching here to-night. There +is to be a trial, and, if necessary, an execution." + +"Would it be asking too much," says the +doctor very polite, "if I were to inquire who is +to be tried, and before what court, and upon what +charge?" + +There was a clearing of throats and a shuffling of +feet fur a minute. One old deaf feller, with a red +nose, who had his hand behind his ear and was +leaning forward so as not to miss a breath of what +any one said, ast his neighbour in a loud whisper, +"How?" Then an undersized little feller, who +wasn't a farmer by his clothes, got up and moved +toward the platform. He had a bulging-out fore- +head, and thin lips, and a quick, nervous way +about him: + +"You are to be tried," he says to the doctor, +speaking in a kind of shrill sing-song that cut your +nerves in that room full of bottled-up excitement +like a locust on a hot day. "You are to be tried before +this self-constituted court of Caucasian citizens-- +Anglo-Saxons, sir, every man of them, whose for- +bears were at Runnymede! The charge against +you is stirring up the negroes of this community +to the point of revolt. You are accused, sir, of +representing yourself to them as some kind of a +Moses. You are arraigned here for endangering +the peace of the county and the supremacy of the +Caucasian race by inspiring in the negroes the hope +of equality." + +Old Daddy Withers had been setting back by +the door. I seen him get up and slip out. It didn't +look to me to be any place fur a gentle old poet. +While that little feller was making that charge +you could feel the air getting tingly, like it does +before a rain storm. + +Some fellers started to clap their hands like at a +political rally and to say, "Go it, Billy!" "That's +right, Harden!" Which I found out later Billy +Harden was in the state legislature, and quite a +speaker, and knowed it. Will, the chairman, he +pounded down the applause, and then he says to +the doctor, pointing to Billy Harden: + +"No man shall say of us that we did not give you +a fair trial and a square deal. I'm goin' to appoint +this gentleman as your counsel, and I'm goin' to +give you a reasonable time to talk with him in pri- +vate and prepare your case. He is the ablest +lawyer in southwest Georgia and the brightest son +of Watson County." + +The doctor looks kind of lazy and Bill Harden, +and back agin at Will, the chairman, and smiles +out of the corner of his mouth. Then he says, +sort of taking in the rest of the crowd with his +remark, like them two standing there pay- +ing each other compliments wasn't nothing but +a joke: + +"I hope neither of you will take it too much to +heart if I'm not impressed by your sense of jus- +tice--or your friend's ability." + +"Then," said Will, "I take it that you intend to +act as your own counsel?" + +"You may take it," says the doctor, rousing of +himself up, "you may take it--from me--that +I refuse to recognize you and your crowd as a court +of any kind; that I know nothing of the silly accusa- +tions against me; that I find no reason at all why I +should take the trouble of making a defence before +an armed mob that can only mean one of two things." + +"One of two things?" says Will. + +"Yes," says the doctor, very quiet, but raising +his voice a little and looking him hard in the eyes. +"You and your gang can mean only one of two +things. Either a bad joke, or else--" + +And he stopped a second, leaning forward in his +chair, with the look of half raising out of it, so as +to bring out the word very decided-- + +"MURDER!" + +The way he done it left that there word hanging +in the room, so you could almost see it and almost +feel it there, like it was a thing that had to be faced +and looked at and took into account. They all +felt it that-a-way, too; fur they wasn't a sound fur +a minute. Then Will says: + +"We don't plan murder, and you'll find this +ain't a joke. And since you refuse to accept +counsel--" + +Jest then Buck Hightower interrupts him by yell- +ing out, "I make a motion Billy Harden be prosecut- +ing attorney, then. Let's hurry this thing along!" +And several started to applaud, and call fur Billy +Harden to prosecute. But Will, he pounded down +the applause agin, and says: + +"I was about to suggest that Mr. Harden might +be prevailed upon to accept that task." + +"Yes," says the doctor, very gentle and easy. +"Quite so! I fancied myself that Mr. Harden came +along with the idea of making a speech either for +or against." And he grinned at Billy Harden in a +way that seemed to make him wild, though he tried +not to show it. Somehow the doctor seemed to be +all keyed up, instead of scared, like a feller that's +had jest enough to drink to give him a fighting edge. + +"Mr. Chairman," says Billy Harden, flushing +up and stuttering jest a little, "I b-beg leave to +d-d-decline." + +"What," says the doctor, sort of playing with +Billy with his eyes and grin, and turning like to +let the whole crowd in on the joke, "DECLINE? The +eminent gentleman declines! And he is going to +sit down, too, with all that speech bottled up in +him! O Demosthenes!" he says, "you have lost +your pebble in front of all Greece." + +Several grinned at Billy Harden as he set down, +and three or four laughed outright. I guess about +half of them there knowed him fur a wind bag, and +some wasn't sorry to see him joshed. But I seen +what the doctor was trying to do. He knowed he +was in an awful tight place, and he was feeling that +crowd's pulse, so to speak. He had been talking +to crowds fur twenty years, and he knowed the +kind of sudden turns they will take, and how to +take advantage of 'em. He was planning and +figgering in his mind all the time jest what side to +ketch 'em on, and how to split up the one, solid +crowd-mind into different minds. But the little +bit of a laugh he turned against Billy Harden was +only on the surface, like a straw floating on a whirl- +pool. These men was here fur business. + +Buck Hightower jumps up and says: + +"Will, I'm getting tired of this court foolishness. +The question is, Does this man come into this +county and do what he has done and get out again? +We know all about him. He sneaked in here and +gave out he was here to turn the niggers white-- +that he was some kind of a new-fangled Jesus sent +especially to niggers, which is blasphemy in itself-- +and he's got 'em stirred up. They're boilin' and +festerin' with notions of equality till we're lucky +if we don't have to lynch a dozen of 'em, like they +did in Atlanta last summer, to get 'em back into +their places again. Do we save ourselves more +trouble by stringing him up as a warning to the +negroes? Or do we invite trouble by turning him +loose? Which? All it needs is a vote." + +And he set down agin. You could see he had +made a hit with the boys. They was a kind of a +growl rolled around the room. The feelings in +that place was getting stronger and stronger. I +was scared, but trying not to show it. My fingers +kept feeling around in my pocket fur something +that wasn't there. But my brain couldn't remember +what my fingers was feeling fur. Then it come on +me sudden it was a buckeye I picked up in the woods +in Indiany one day, and I had lost it. I ain't super- +stitious about buckeyes or horse-shoes, but remem- +bering I had lost it somehow made me feel worse. +But Doctor Kirby had a good holt on himself; his +face was a bit redder'n usual, and his eyes was spark- +ling, and he was both eager and watchful. When +Buck Hightower sets down the chairman clears his +throat like he is going to speak. But-- + +"Just a moment," says Doctor Kirby, getting +on his feet, and taking a step toward the chairman. +And the way he stopped and stood made everybody +look at him. Then he went on: + +"Once more," he says, "I call the attention of +every man present to the fact that what the last +speaker proposes is--" + +And then he let 'em have that word agin, full in +their faces, to think about-- + +"MURDER! Merely murder." + +He was bound they shouldn't get away from that +word and what it stood fur. And every man there +DID think, too, fur they was another little pause. +And not one of 'em looked at another one fur a +minute. Doctor Kirby leaned forward from the +platform, running his eyes over the crowd, and jest +natcherally shoved that word into the room so hard +with his mind that every mind there had to take it in. + +But as he held 'em to it they come a bang from +one of the windows. It broke the charm. Fur +everybody jumped. I jumped myself. When the +end of the world comes and the earth busts in the +middle, it won't sound no louder than that bang +did. It was a wooden shutter. The wind was ris- +ing outside, and it flew open and whacked agin' +the building. + +Then a big, heavy-set man that hadn't spoke +before riz up from one of the hind seats, like he had +heard a dare to fight, and walked slowly down +toward the front. He had a red face, which was +considerable pock-marked, and very deep-set eyes, +and a deep voice. + +"Since when," he says, taking up his stand a +dozen feet or so in front of the doctor, "since when +has any civilization refused to commit murder when +murder was necessary for its protection?" + +One of the top glasses of that window was out, +and with the shutter open they come a breeze through +that fluttered some strips of dirty-coloured papers, +fly-specked and dusty and spider-webbed, that +hung on strings acrost the room, jest below the +ceiling. I guess they had been left over from some +Christmas doings. + +"My friend," said the pock-marked man to the +doctor--and the funny thing about it was he didn't +talk unfriendly when he said it--"the word you +insist on is just a WORD, like any other word." + +They was a spider rousted out of his web by that +disturbance among the strings and papers. He +started down from above on jest one string of web, +seemingly spinning part of it out of himself as he +come, the way they do. I couldn't keep my eyes +off'n him. + +"Murder," says the doctor, "is a thing." + +"It is a WORD," says the other man, "FOR a thing. +For a thing which sometimes seems necessary. +Lynching, war, execution, murder--they are all +words for different ways of wiping out human life. +Killing sometimes seems wrong, and sometimes +right. But right or wrong, and with one word or +another tacked to it, it is DONE when a community +wants to get rid of something dangerous to it." + +That there spider was a squat, ugly-looking devil, +hunched up on his string amongst all his crooked +legs. The wind would come in little puffs, and +swing him a little way toward the doctor's head, +and then toward the pock-marked man's head, +back and forth and back and forth, between them +two as they spoke. It looked to me like he was +listening to what they said and waiting fur +something. + +"Murder," says the doctor, "is murder--illegal +killing--and you can't make anything else out of +it, or talk anything else into it." + +It come to me all to oncet that that ugly spider +was swinging back and forth like the pendulum on +a clock, and marking time. I wondered how much +time they was left in the world. + +"It would be none the less a murder," said the +pock-marked man, "if you were to be hanged after +a trial in some county court. Society had been +obliged to deny the privilege of committing murder +to the individual and reserve it for the community. +If our communal sense says you should die, the +thing is neither better nor worse than if a sheriff +hanged you." + +"I am not to be hanged by a sheriff," says the +doctor, very cool and steady, "because I have com- +mitted no crime. I am not to be killed by you +because you dare not, in spite of all you say, outrage +the law to that extent." + +And they looked each other in the eyes so long +and hard that every one else in the schoolhouse +held their breath. + +"DARE not?" says the pock-marked man. And +he reached forward slow and took that spider in +his hand, and crushed it there, and wiped his hand +along his pants leg. "Dare not? YES, BUT WE DARE. +The only question for us men here is whether we +dare to let you go free." + +"Your defence of lynching," says Doctor Kirby, +"shows that you, at least, are a man who can think. +Tell me what I am accused of?" + +And then the trial begun in earnest. + + + + + +CHAPTER XX + + +The doctor acted as his own lawyer, and +the pock-marked man, whose name was +Grimes, as the lawyer agin us. You could +see that crowd had made up its mind before-hand, +and was only giving us what they called a trial to +satisfy their own conscience. But the fight was be- +twixt Grimes and Doctor Kirby the hull way through. + +One witness was a feller that had been in the hotel +at Cottonville the night we struck that place. We +had drunk some of his licker. + +"This man admitted himself that he was here to +turn the niggers white," said the witness. + +Doctor Kirby had told 'em what kind of medicine +he was selling. We both remembered it. We both +had to admit it. + +The next witness was the feller that run the +tavern at Bairdstown. He had with him, fur proof, +a bottle of the stuff we had brought with us. He +told how we had went away and left it there that +very morning. + +Another witness told of seeing the doctor talking +in the road to that there nigger bishop. Which any +one could of seen it easy enough, fur they wasn't +nothing secret about it. We had met him by ac- +cident. But you could see it made agin us. + +Another witness says he lives not fur from that +Big Bethel church. He says he has noticed the +niggers was worked up about something fur several +days. They are keeping the cause of it secret. He +went over to Big Bethel church the night before, he +said, and he listened outside one of the windows to +find out what kind of doctrine that crazy bishop was +preaching to them. They was all so worked up, +and the power was with 'em so strong, and they was +so excited they wouldn't of hearn an army march- +ing by. He had hearn the bishop deliver a message +to his flock from the Messiah. He had seen him go +wild, afterward, and preach an equality sermon. +That was the lying message the old bishop had took +to 'em, and that Sam had told us about. But how +was this feller to know it was a lie? He believed in +it, and he told it in a straight-ahead way that would +make any one see he was telling the truth as he +thought it to be. + +Then they was six other witnesses. All had been +in the gang that lynched the nigger that day. That +nigger had confessed his crime before he was lynched. +He had told how the niggers had been expecting of a +Messiah fur several days, and how the doctor was +him. He had died a-preaching and a-prophesying +and thinking to the last minute maybe he was going +to get took up in a chariot of fire. + +Things kept looking worse and worse fur us. +They had the story as the niggers thought it to be. +They thought the doctor had deliberately repre- +sented himself as such, instead of which the doc- +tor had refused to be represented as that there +Messiah. More than that, he had never sold a +bottle of that medicine. He had flung the idea of +selling it way behind him jest as soon as he seen +what the situation really was in the black coun- +ties. He had even despised himself fur going into +it. But the looks of things was all the other +way. + +Then the doctor give his own testimony. + +"Gentlemen," he says, "it is true that I came +down here to try out that stuff in the bottle there, +and see if a market could be worked up for it. It is +also true that, after I came here and discovered +what conditions were, I decided not to sell the stuff. +I didn't sell any. About this Messiah business I +know very little more than you do. The situation +was created, and I blundered into it. I sent the +negroes word that I was not the person they ex- +pected. The bishop lied to them. That is my +whole story." + +But they didn't believe him. Fur it was jest +what he would of said if he had been guilty, as +they thought him. And then Grimes gets up and +says: + +"Gentlemen, I demand for this prisoner the +penalty of death. + +"He has lent himself to a situation calculated to +disturb in this county the peaceful domination of the +black race by the white. + +"He is a Northern man. But that is not against +him. If this were a case where leniency were possi- +ble, it should count for him, as indicating an ig- +norance of the gravity of conditions which confront +us here, every day and all the time. If he were my +own brother, I would still demand his death. + +"Lest he should think my attitude dictated by +any lingering sectional prejudice, I may tell him what +you all know--you people among whom I have lived +for thirty years--that I am a Northern man myself. + +"The negro who was lynched to-day might never +have committed the crime he did had not the wild, +disturbing dream of equality been stirring in his +brain. Every speech, every look, every action +which encourages that idea is a crime. In this +county, where the blacks outnumber us, we must +either rule as masters or be submerged. + +"This man is still believed by the negroes to +possess some miraculous power. He is therefore +doubly dangerous. As a sharp warning to them he +must die. His death will do more toward ending +the trouble he has prepared than the death of a +dozen negroes. + +"And as God is my witness, I speak and act +not through passion, but from the dictates of +conscience." + +He meant it, Grimes did. And when he set down +they was a hush. And then Will, the chairman, +begun to call the roll. + +I never been much of a person to have bad dreams +or nightmares or things like that. But ever since +that night in that schoolhouse, if I do have a night- +mare, it takes the shape of that roll being called. +Every word was like a spade grating and gritting +in damp gravel when a grave is dug. It sounded +so to me. + +"Samuel Palmour, how do you vote?" that chair- +man would say. + +Samuel Palmour, or whoever it was, would hist +himself to his feet, and he would say something +like this: + +"Death." + +He wouldn't say it joyous. He wouldn't say it +mad. He would be pale when he said it, mebby-- +and mebby trembling. But he would say it like it +was a duty he had to do, that couldn't be got out +of. That there trial had lasted so long they wasn't +hot blood left in nobody jest then--only cold blood, +and determination and duty and principle. + +"Buck Hightower," says the chairman, "how +do you vote?" + +"Death," says Buck; "death for the man. But +say, can't we jest LICK the kid and turn him +loose?" + +And so it went, up one side the room and down +the other. Grimes had showed 'em all their duty. +Not but what they had intended to do it before +Grimes spoke. But he had put it in such a way they +seen it was something with even MORE principle to +it than they had thought it was before. + +"Billy Harden," says the chairman, "how do you +vote?" Billy was the last of the bunch. And most +had voted fur death. Billy, he opened his mouth +and he squared himself away to orate some. But +jest as he done so, the door opened and Old Daddy +Withers stepped in. He had been gone so long I +had plumb forgot him. Right behind him was a +tall, spare feller, with black eyes and straight +iron-gray hair. + +"I vote," says Billy Harden, beginning of his +speech, "I vote for death. The reason upon which +I base--" + +But Doctor Kirby riz up and interrupted him. + +"You are going to kill me," he said. He was pale +but he was quiet, and he spoke as calm and steady +as he ever done in his life. "You are going to kill +me like the crowd of sneaking cowards that you are. +And you ARE such cowards that you've talked two +hours about it, instead of doing it. And I'll tell +you why you've talked so much: because no ONE +of you alone would dare to do it, and every man of +you in the end wants to go away thinking that the +other fellow had the biggest share in it. And no +ONE of you will fire the gun or pull the rope--you'll +do it ALL TOGETHER, in a crowd, because each one will +want to tell himself he only touched the rope, or +that HIS GUN missed. + +"I know you, by God!" he shouted, flushing up +into a passion--and it brought blood into their +faces, too--"I know you right down to your roots, +better than you know yourselves." + +He was losing hold of himself, and roaring like a +bull and flinging out taunts that made 'em squirm. +If he wanted the thing over quick, he was taking +jest the way to warm 'em up to it. But I don't +think he was figgering on anything then, or had any +plan up his sleeve. He had made up his mind he +was going to die, and he was so mad because he +couldn't get in one good lick first that he was nigh +crazy. I looked to see him lose all sense in a minute, +and rush amongst them guns and end it in a +whirl. + +But jest as I figgered he was on his tiptoes fur +that, and was getting up my own sand, he throwed +a look my way. And something sobered him. He +stood there digging his finger nails into the palms +of his hands fur a minute, to get himself back. And +when he spoke he was sort of husky. + +"That boy there," he says. And then he stops +and kind of chokes up. And in a minute he was +begging fur me. He tells 'em I wasn't mixed up +in nothing. He wouldn't of done it fur himself, +but he begged fur me. Nobody had paid much +attention to me from the first, except Buck High- +tower had put in a good word fur me. But some- +how the doctor had got the crowd listening to him +agin, and they all looked at me. It got next to me. +I seen by the way they was looking, and I felt it in +the air, that they was going to let me off. + +But Doctor Kirby, he had always been my friend. +It made me sore fur to see him thinking I wasn't +with him. So I says: + +"You better can that line of talk. They don't +get you without they get me, too. You orter know +I ain't a quitter. You give me a pain." + +And the doctor and me stood and looked at each +other fur a minute. He grinned at me, and all of a +sudden we was neither one of us much giving a +whoop, fur it had come to us both at oncet what +awful good friends we was with each other. + +But jest then they come a slow, easy-going +sort of a voice from the back part of the room. +That feller that had come in along with Old +Daddy Withers come sauntering down the middle +aisle, fumbling in his coat pocket, and speaking +as he come. + +"I've been hearing a great deal of talk about +killing people in the last few minutes," he says. + +Everybody rubbered at him. + + + + + +CHAPTER XXI + + +There was something sort of careless in his +voice, like he had jest dropped in to see a +show, and it had come to him sudden that +he would enjoy himself fur a minute or two taking +part in it. But he wasn't going to get TOO worked +up about it, either, fur the show might end by mak- +ing him tired, after all. + +As he come down the aisle fumbling in his coat, +he stopped and begun to slap all his pockets. Then +his face cleared, and he dived into a vest pocket. +Everybody looked like they thought he was going +to pull something important out of it. But he +didn't. All he pulled out was jest one of these here +little ordinary red books of cigarette papers. Then +he dived fur some loose tobacco, and begun to roll +one. I noticed his fingers was long and white and +slim and quick. But not excited fingers; only the +kind that seems to say as much as talking says. + +He licked his cigarette, and then he sauntered +ahead, looking up. As he looked up the light fell +full on his face fur the first time. He had high +cheek bones and iron-gray hair which he wore +rather long, and very black eyes. As he lifted his +head and looked close at Doctor Kirby, a change +went over both their faces. Doctor Kirby's mouth +opened like he was going to speak. So did the other +feller's. One side of his mouth twitched into +something that was too surprised to be a grin, and +one of his black eyebrows lifted itself up at the same +time. But neither him nor Doctor Kirby spoke. + +He stuck his cigarette into his mouth and turned +sideways from Doctor Kirby, like he hadn't noticed +him pertic'ler. And he turns to the chairman. + +"Will," he says. And everybody listens. You +could see they all knowed him, and that they +all respected him too, by the way they was waiting +to hear what he would say to Will. But they was +all impatient and eager, too, and they wouldn't +wait very long, although now they was hushing each +other and leaning forward. + +"Will," he says, very polite and quiet, "can I +trouble you for a match?" + +And everybody let go their breath. Some with a +snort, like they knowed they was being trifled with, +and it made 'em sore. His eyebrows goes up agin, +like it was awful impolite in folks to snort that-a- +way, and he is surprised to hear it. And Will, he +digs fur a match and finds her and passes her over. +He lights his cigarette, and he draws a good +inhale, and he blows the smoke out like it done him +a heap of good. He sees something so interesting +in that little cloud of smoke that everybody else +looks at it, too. + +"Do I understand," he says, "that some one is +going to lynch some one, or something of that sort?" + +"That's about the size of it, colonel," says Will. + +"Um!" he says, "What for?" + +Then everybody starts to talk all at once, half of +them jumping to their feet, and making a perfect +hullabaloo of explanations you couldn't get no sense +out of. In the midst of which the colonel takes a +chair and sets down and crosses one leg over the +other, swinging the loose foot and smiling very +patient. Which Will remembers he is chairman of +that meeting and pounds fur order. + +"Thank you, Will," says the colonel, like getting +order was a personal favour to him. Then Billy +Harden gets the floor, and squares away fur a long- +winded speech telling why. But Buck Hightower +jumps up impatient and says: + +"We've been through all that, Billy. That man +there has been tried and found guilty, colonel, and +there's only one thing to do--string him up." + +"Buck, _I_ wouldn't," says the colonel, very mild. + +But that there man Grimes gets up very sober +and steady and says: + +"Colonel, you don't understand." And he tells +him the hull thing as he believed it to be--why +they has voted the doctor must die, the room warm- +ing up agin as he talks, and the colonel listening +very interested. But you could see by the looks of +him that colonel wouldn't never be interested so +much in anything but himself, and his own way of +doing things. In a way he was like a feller that +enjoys having one part of himself stand aside and +watch the play-actor game another part of himself +is acting out. + +"Grimes," he says, when the pock-marked man +finishes, "I wouldn't. I really wouldn't." + +"Colonel," says Grimes, showing his knowledge +that they are all standing solid behind him, "WE +WILL!" + +"Ah," says the colonel, his eyebrows going up, +and his face lighting up like he is really beginning +to enjoy himself and is glad he come, "indeed!" + +"Yes," says Grimes, "WE WILL!" + +"But not," says the colonel, "before we have +talked the thing over a bit, I hope?" + +"There's been too much talk here now," yells +Buck Hightower, "talk, talk, till, by God, I'm sick +of it! Where's that ROPE?" + +"But, listen to him--listen to the colonel!" some +one else sings out. And then they was another +hullabaloo, some yelling "no!" And the colonel, very +patient, rolls himself another smoke and lights it +from the butt of the first one. But finally they +quiets down enough so Will can put it to a vote. +Which vote goes fur the colonel to speak. + +"Boys," he begins very quiet, "I wouldn't lynch +this man. In the first place it will look bad in +the newspapers, and--" + +"The newspapers be d---d!" says some one. + +"And in the second place," goes on the colonel, +"it would be against the law, and--" + +"The law be d----d!" says Buck Hightower. + +"There's a higher law!" says Grimes. + +"Against the law," says the colonel, rising up +and throwing away his cigarette, and getting inter- +ested. + +"I know how you feel about all this negro busi- +ness. And I feel the same way. We all know that +we must be the negros' masters. Grimes there +found that out when he came South, and the +idea pleased him so he hasn't been able to talk +about anything else since. Grimes has turned into +what the Northern newspapers think a typical +Southerner is. + +"Boys, this thing of lynching gets to be a habit. +There's been a negro lynched to-day. He's the +third in this county in five years. They all needed +killing. If the thing stopped there I wouldn't care +so much. But the habit of illegal killing grows +when it gets started. + +"It's grown on you. You're fixing to lynch your +first white man now. If you do, you'll lynch an- +other easier. You'll lynch one for murder and the +next for stealing hogs and the next because he's +unpopular and the next because he happens to +dun you for a debt. And in five years life will be +as cheap in Watson County as it is in a New York +slum where they feed immigrants to the factories. +You'll all be toting guns and grudges and trying to +lynch each other. + +"The place to stop the thing is where it starts. +You can't have it both ways--you've got to stand +pat on the law, or else see the law spit on right +and left, in the end, and NOBODY safe. It's +either law or--" + +"But," says Grimes, "there's a higher law than +that on the statute books. There's--" + +"There's a lot of flub-dub," says the colonel, +"about higher laws and unwritten laws. But we've +got high enough law written if we live up to it. +There's--" + +"Colonel Tom Buckner," says Buck Hightower, +"what kind of law was it when you shot Ed Howard +fifteen years ago? What--" + +"You're out of order," says the chairman, +"Colonel Buckner has the floor. And I'll remind +you, Buck Hightower, that, on the occasion you drag +in, Colonel Buckner didn't do any talking about +higher laws or unwritten laws. He sent word to the +sheriff to come and get him if he dared." + +"Boys," says the colonel, "I'm preaching you +higher doctrine than I've lived by, and I've made +no claim to be better or more moral than any of +you. I'm not. I'm in the same boat with all of +you, and I tell you it's up to ALL of us to stop lynch- +ings in this county--to set our faces against it. +I tell you--" + +"Is that all you've got to say to us, colonel?" + +The question come out of a group that had drawed +nearer together whilst the colonel was talking. +They was tired of listening to talk and arguments, +and showed it. + +The colonel stopped speaking short when they +flung that question at him. His face changed. +He turned serious all over. And he let loose jest +one word: + +"NO!" + +Not very loud, but with a ring in it that sounded +like danger. And he got 'em waiting agin, and +hanging on his words. + +"No!" he repeats, louder, "not all. I have this +to say to you--" + +And he paused agin, pointing one long white +finger at the crowd-- + +"IF YOU LYNCH THIS MAN YOU MUST KILL ME FIRST!" + +I couldn't get away from thinking, as he stood +there making them take that in, that they was some- +thing like a play-actor about him. But he was in +earnest, and he would play it to the end, fur he +liked the feelings it made circulate through his +frame. And they saw he was in earnest. + +"You'll lynch him, will you?" he says, a kind of +passion getting into his voice fur the first time, +and his eyes glittering. "You think you will? +Well, you WON'T! + +"You won't because _I_ say NOT. Do you hear? +I came here to-night to save him. + +"You might string HIM up and not be called to +account for it. But how about ME?" + +He took a step forward, and, looking from face to +face with a dare in his eyes, he went on: + +"Is there a man among you fool enough to think +you could kill Tom Buckner and not pay for it?" + +He let 'em all think of that for jest another +minute before he spoke agin. His face was as white +as a piece of paper, and his nostrils was working, but +everything else about him was quiet. He looked +the master of them all as he stood there, Colonel +Tom Buckner did--straight and splendid and +keen. And they felt the danger in him, and they +felt jest how fur he would go, now he was started. + +"You didn't want to listen to me a bit ago," he +said. "Now you must. Listen and choose. You +can't kill that man unless you kill me too. + +"TRY IT, IF YOU THINK YOU CAN!" + +He reached over and took from the teacher's +desk the sheet of paper Will had used to check off +the name of each man and how he voted. He held +it up in front of him and every man looked at it. + +"You know me," he says. "You know I do not +break my word. And I promise you that unless you +do kill me here tonight--yes, as God is my witness, +I THREATEN you--I will spend every dollar I own and +every atom of influence I possess to bring each one +of you to justice for that man's murder." + +They knowed, that crowd did, that killing a man +like Colonel Buckner--a leader and a big man in +that part of the state--was a different proposition +from killing a stranger like Doctor Kirby. The +sense of what it would mean to kill Colonel Buckner +was sinking into 'em, and showing on their faces. +And no one could look at him standing there, with +his determination blazing out of him, and not under- +stand that unless they did kill him as well as Doctor +Kirby he'd do jest what he said. + +"I told you," he said, not raising his voice, but +dropping it, and making it somehow come creeping +nearer to every one by doing that, "I told you the +first white man you lynched would lead to other +lynchings. Let me show you what you're up +against to-night. + +"Kill the man and the boy here, and you must +kill me. Kill me, and you must kill Old Man +Withers, too." + +Every one turned toward the door as he men- +tioned Old Man Withers. He had never been very +far into the room. + +"Oh, he's gone," said Colonel Tom, as they +turned toward the door, and then looked at each +other. "Gone home. Gone home with the name +of every man present. Don't you see you'd have +to kill Old Man Withers too, if you killed me? And +then, HIS WIFE! And then--how many more? + +"Do you see it widen--that pool of blood? Do +you see it spread and spread?" + +He looked down at the floor, like he really seen +it there. He had 'em going now. They showed it. + +"If you shed one drop," he went on, "you must +shed more. Can't you see it--widening and deep- +ening, widening and deepening, till you're wading +knee deep in it--till it climbs to your waists--till +it climbs to your throats and chokes you?" + +It was a horrible idea, the way he played that +there pool of blood and he shuddered like he felt it +climbing up himself. And they felt it. A few men +can't kill a hull, dern county and get away with it. +The way he put it that's what they was up against. + +"Now," says Colonel Tom, "what man among +you wants to start it?" + +Nobody moved. He waited a minute. Still +nobody moved. They all looked at him. It was +awful plain jest where they would have to begin. +It was awful plain jest what it would all end up in. +And I guess when they looked at him standing there, +so fine and straight and splendid, it jest seemed +plumb unpossible to make a move. There was a +spirit in him that couldn't be killed. Doctor Kirby +said afterward that was what come of being real +"quality," which was what Colonel Tom was-- +it was that in him that licked 'em. It was the best +part of their own selves, and the best part of their +own country, speaking out of him to them, that done +it. Mebby so. Anyhow, after a minute more of +that strain, a feller by the door picks up his gun out +of the corner with a scrape, and hists it to his +shoulder and walks out. And then Colonel Tom +says to Will, with his eyebrow going up, and that +one-sided grin coming onto his face agin: + +"Will, perhaps a motion to adjourn would be in +order?" + + + + + +CHAPTER XXII + + +So many different kinds of feeling had been +chasing around inside of me that I had +numb spots in my emotional ornaments +and intellectual organs. The room cleared out of +everybody but Doctor Kirby and Colonel Tom and +me. But the sound of the crowd going into the road, +and their footsteps dying away, and then after +that their voices quitting, all made but very little +sense to me. I could scarcely realize that the dan- +ger was over. + +I hadn't been paying much attention to Doctor +Kirby while the colonel was making that grand- +stand play of his'n, and getting away with it. Doc- +tor Kirby was setting in his chair with his head sort +of sunk on his chest. I guess he was having a hard +time himself to realize that all the danger was past. +But mebby it wasn't that--he looked like he might +really of forgot where he was fur a minute, and +might be thinking of something that had happened +a long time ago. + +The colonel was leaning up agin the teacher's +desk, smoking and looking at Doctor Kirby. +Doctor Kirby turns around toward the colonel. + +"You have saved my life," he says, getting up +out of his chair, like he had a notion to step over and +thank him fur it, but was somehow not quite sure +how that would be took. + +The colonel looks at him silent fur a second, and +then he says, without smiling: + +"Do you flatter yourself it was because I think +it worth anything?" + +The doctor don't answer, and then the colonel +says: + +"Has it occurred to you that I may have saved +it because I want it?" + +"WANT it?" + +"Do you know of any one who has a better right +to TAKE it than I have? Perhaps I saved it because +it BELONGS to me--do you suppose I want any one +else to kill what I have the best right to kill?" + +"Tom," says Doctor Kirby, really puzzled, to +judge from his actions, "I don't understand what +makes you say you have the right to take my life." + +"Dave, where is my sister buried?" asts Colonel +Tom. + +"Buried?" says Doctor Kirby. "My God, Tom, +is she DEAD?" + +"I ask you," says Colonel Tom. + +"And I ask you," says Doctor Kirby. + +And they looked at each other, both wonderized, +and trying to understand. And it busted on me +all at oncet who them two men really was. + +I orter knowed it sooner. When the colonel +was first called Colonel Tom Buckner it struck me I +knowed the name, and knowed something about it. +But things which was my own consarns was attract- +ing my attention so hard I couldn't remember what +it was I orter know about that name. Then I seen +him and Doctor Kirby knowed each other when they +got that first square look. That orter of put me +on the track, that and a lot of other things that +had happened before. But I didn't piece things +together like I orter done. + +It wasn't until Colonel Tom Buckner called him +"Dave" and ast him about his sister that I seen +who Doctor Kirby must really be. + +HE WAS THAT THERE DAVID ARMSTRONG! + +And the brother of the girl he had run off with +had jest saved his life. By the way he was talking, +he had saved it simply because he thought he had +the first call on what to do with it. + +"Where is she?" asts Colonel Tom. + +"I ask you," says Doctor Kirby--or David +Armstrong--agin. + +Well, I thinks to myself, here is where Daniel +puts one acrost the plate. And I breaks in: + +"You both got another guess coming," I says. +"She ain't buried anywheres. She ain't even dead. +She's living in a little town in Indiany called Athens +--or she was about eighteen months ago." + +They both looks at me like they thinks I am crazy. + +"What do you know about it?" says Doctor +Kirby. + +"Are you David Armstrong?" says I. + +"Yes," says he. + +"Well," I says, "you spent four or five days within +a stone's throw of her a year ago last summer, +and she knowed it was you and hid herself away +from you." + +Then I tells them about how I first happened to +hear of David Armstrong, and all I had hearn from +Martha. And how I had stayed at the Davises in +Tennessee and got some more of the same story +from George, the old nigger there. + +"But, Danny," says the doctor, "why didn't you +tell me all this?" + +I was jest going to say that not knowing he was +that there David Armstrong I didn't think it any +of his business, when Colonel Tom, he says to +Doctor Kirby--I mean to David Armstrong: + +"Why should you be concerned as to her where- +abouts? You ruined her life and then deserted her." + +Doctor Kirby--I mean David Armstrong-- +stands there with the blood going up his face into +his forehead slow and red. + +"Tom," he says, "you and I seem to be working +at cross purposes. Maybe it would help some if +you would tell me just how badly you think I +treated Lucy." + +"You ruined her life, and then deserted her," +says Colonel Tom agin, looking at him hard. + +"I DIDN'T desert her," said Doctor Kirby. "She +got disgusted and left ME. Left me without a chance +to explain myself. As far as ruining her life is +concerned, I suppose that when I married her--" + +"Married her!" cries out the colonel. And David +Armstrong stares at him with his mouth open. + +"My God! Tom," he says, "did you think +--?" + +And they both come to another standstill. +And then they talked some more and only got more +mixed up than ever. Fur the doctor thinks she has +left him, and Colonel Tom thinks he has left her. + +"Tom," says the doctor, "suppose you let me +tell my story, and you'll see why Lucy left me." + +Him and Colonel Tom had been chums together +when they went through Princeton, it seems--I +picked that up from the talk and some of his story +I learned afterward. He had come from Ohio in +the beginning, and his dad had had considerable +money. Which he had enjoyed spending of it, +and when he was a young feller never liked to work +at nothing else. It suited him. Colonel Tom, +he was considerable like him in that way. So they +was good pals when they was to that school together. +They both quit about the same time. A couple +of years after that, when they was both about +twenty-five or six years old, they run acrost each +other accidental in New York one autumn. + +The doctor, he was there figgering on going to +work at something or other, but they was so many +things to do he was finding it hard to make a choice. +His father was dead by that time, and looking fur +a job in New York, the way he had been doing it, +was awful expensive, and he was running short of +money. His father had let him spend so much +whilst he was alive he was very disappointed to +find out he couldn't keep on forever looking fur work +that-a-way. + +So Colonel Tom says why not come down home +into Tennessee with him fur a while, and they will +both try and figger out what he orter go to work at. +It was the fall of the year, and they was purty good +hunting around there where Colonel Tom lived, +and Dave hadn't never been South any, and so he +goes. He figgers he better take a good, long vaca- +tion, anyhow. Fur if he goes to work that winter +or the next spring, and ties up with some job that +keeps him in an office, there may be months and +months pass by before he has another chance at +a vacation. That is the worst part of a job--I +found that out myself--you never can tell when +you are going to get shut of it, once you are fool +enough to start in. + +In Tennessee he had met Miss Lucy. Which +her wedding to Prent McMakin was billed fur to +come off about the first of November, jest a month +away. + +"I don't know whether I ever told you or not," +says the doctor, "but I was engaged to be married +myself, Tom, when I went down to your place. +That was what started all the trouble. + +"You know engagements are like vaccina- +tion--sometimes they take, and sometimes +they don't. Of course, I had thought at one +time I was in love with this girl I was engaged +to. When I found out I wasn't, I should have +told her so right away. But I didn't. I +thought that she would get tired of me after a +while and turn me loose. I gave her plenty of +chances to turn me loose. I wanted her to +break the engagement instead of me. But +she wouldn't take the hints. She hung on like an +Ohio Grand Army veteran to a country post-office. +About half the time I didn't read her letters, and +about nineteen twentieths of the time I didn't +answer them. They say hell hath no fury like a +woman scorned. But it isn't so--it makes them +all the fonder of you. I got into the habit of think- +ing that while Emma might be engaged to me, I +wasn't engaged to Emma. Not but what Emma +was a nice girl, you know, but-- + +"Well, I met Lucy. We fell in love with each +other. It just happened. I kept intending to +write to the other girl and tell her plainly that +everything was off. But I kept postponing it. +It seemed like a deuce of a hard job to tackle. + +"But, finally, I did write her. That was the very +day Lucy promised to throw Prent McMakin over +and marry me. You know how determined all +your people were that Lucy should marry McMakin, +Tom. They had brought her up with the idea +that she was going to, and, of course, she was bored +with him for that reason. + +"We decided the best plan would be to slip away +quietly and get married. We knew it would raise +a row. But there was bound to be a row anyhow +when they found she intended to marry me instead +of McMakin. So we figured we might just as well +be away from there. + +"We left your place early on the morning of +October 31, 1888--do you remember the date, +Tom? We took the train for Clarksville, Tennessee, +and got there about two o'clock that afternoon. +I suppose you have been in that interesting centre +of the tobacco industry. If you have you may +remember that the courthouse of Montgomery +County is right across the street from the best hotel. +I got a license and a preacher without any trouble, +and we were married in the hotel parlour that +afternoon. One of the hotel clerks and the county +clerk himself were the witnesses. + +"We went to Cincinnati and from there to +Chicago. There we got rooms out on the South +Side--Hyde Park, they called it. And I got me a +job. I had some money left, but not enough to buy +kohinoors and race-horses with. Beside, I really +wanted to get to work--wanted it for the first +time in my life. You remember young Clayton +in our class? He and some other enterprising +citizens had a building and loan association. Such +things are no doubt immoral, but I went to work +for him. + +"We had been in Chicago a week when Lucy +wrote home what she had done, and begged for- +giveness for being so abrupt about it. At least, +I suppose that is what she wrote. It was--" + +"I remember exactly what she wrote," says +Colonel Tom. + +"I never knew exactly," says the doctor. "The +same mail that brought word from you that your +grandfather had had some sort of a stroke, as a +consequence of our elopement, brought also two +letters from Emma. They had been forwarded +from New York to Tennessee, and you had for- +warded them to Chicago. + +"Those letters began the trouble. You see, I +hadn't told Emma when I wrote breaking off the +engagement that I was going to get married the +next day. And Emma hadn't received my letter, +or else had made up her mind to ignore it. Anyhow, +those letters were regular love-letters. + +"I hadn't really read one of Emma's letters for +months. But somehow I couldn't help reading +these. I had forgotten what a gift for the expres- +sion of sentiment Emma had. She fairly revelled +in it, Tom. Those letters were simply writhing +with clinging female adjectives. They SQUIRMED +with affection. + +"You may remember that Lucy was a rather +jealous sort of a person. Right in the midst of her +alarm and grief and self-reproach over her grand- +father, and in the midst of my efforts to comfort +her, she spied the feminine handwriting on those +two letters. I had glanced through them hurriedly, +and laid them on the table. + +"Tom, I was in bad. The dates on them, you +know, were so RECENT. I didn't want Lucy to read +them. But I didn't dare to ACT as if I didn't want +her to. So I handed them over. + +"I suppose--to a bride who had only been +married a little more than a week--and who had +hurt her grandfather nearly to death in the marry- +ing, those letters must have sounded rather odd. +I tried to explain. But all my explanations only +seemed to make the case worse for me. Lucy was +furiously jealous. We really had a devil of a row +before we were through with it. I tried to tell her +that I loved no one but her. She pointed out that +I must have said much the same sort of thing to +Emma. She said she was almost as sorry for Emma +as she was for herself. When Lucy got through +with me, Tom, I looked like thirty cents and felt +like twenty-five of that was plugged. + +"I didn't have sense enough to know that it was +most of it grief over her grandfather, and nerves and +hysteria, and the fact that she was only eighteen +years old and lonely, and that being a bride had a +certain amount to do with it. She had told me that +I was a beast, and made me feel like one; and I +took the whole thing hard and believed her. I +made a fine, five-act tragedy out of a jealous fit +I might have softened into comedy if I had had +the wit. + +"I wasn't so very old myself, and I hadn't ever +been married before. I should have kept my mouth +shut until it was all over, and then when she began +to cry I should have coaxed her up and made her +feel like I was the only solid thing to hang on to +in the whole world. + +"But the bottom had dropped out of the uni- +verse for me. She had said she hated me. I was +fool enough to believe her. I went downtown and +began to drink. I come home late that night. +The poor girl had been waiting up for me--waiting +for hours, and becoming more and more frightened +when I didn't show up. She was over her jealous +fit, I suppose. If I had come home in good shape, +or in anything like it, we would have made up then +and there. But my condition stopped all that. +I wasn't so drunk but that I saw her face change +when she let me in. She was disgusted. + +"In the morning I was sick and feverish. I was +more than disgusted with myself. I was in despair. +If she had hated me before--and she had said +she did--what must she do now? It seemed to +me that I had sunk so far beneath her that it would +take years to get back. It didn't seem worth while +making any plea for myself. You see, I was young +and had serious streaks all through me. So when +she told me that she had written home again, and +was going back--was going to leave me, I didn't +see that it was only a bluff. I didn't see that she +was really only waiting to forgive me, if I gave +her a chance. I started downtown to the building +and loan office, wondering when she would leave, +and if there was anything I could do to make her +change her mind. I must repeat again that I was a +fool--that I needed only to speak one word, had +I but known it. + +"If I had gone straight to work, everything might +have come around all right even then. But I +didn't. I had that what's-the-use feeling. And I +stopped in at the Palmer House bar to get some- +thing to sort of pull me together. + +"While I was there, who should come up to the +bar and order a drink but Prent McMakin." + +"Yes!" says Colonel Tom, as near excited as +he ever got. + +"Yes," says Armstrong, "nobody else. We saw +each other in the mirror behind the bar. I don't +know whether you ever noticed it or not, Tom, but +McMakin's eyes had a way of looking almost like +cross-eyes when he was startled or excited. They +were a good deal too near together at any time. +He gave me such a look when our eyes met in the +mirror that, for an instant, I thought that he in- +tended to do me some mischief--shoot me, you +know, for taking his bride-to-be away from him, +or some fool thing like that. But as we turned +toward each other I saw he had no intention of +that sort." + +"Hadn't he?" says Colonel Tom, mighty in- +terested. + +"No," says the doctor, looking at Colonel Tom +very puzzled, "did you think he had?" + +"Yes, I did," says the colonel, right thoughtful. + +"On the contrary," says Armstrong, "we had a +drink together. And he congratulated me. Made +me quite a little speech, in fact; one of the flowery +kind, you know, Tom, and said that he bore me no +rancour, and all that." + +"The deuce he did!" says Colonel Tom, very low, +like he was talking to himself. "And then what?" + +"Then," says the doctor, "then--let me see-- +it's all a long time ago, you know, and McMakin's +part in the whole thing isn't really important." + +"I'm not so sure it isn't important," says the +colonel, "but go on." + +"Then," says Armstrong, "we had another drink +together. In fact, a lot of them. We got awfully +friendly. And like a fool I told him of my quarrel +with Lucy." + +"LIKE a fool," says Colonel Tom, nodding his +head. "Go on." + +"There isn't much more to tell," says the doctor, +"except that I made a worse idiot of myself yet, +and left McMakin about two o'clock in the after- +noon, as near as I can recollect. Somewhere about +ten o'clock that night I went home. Lucy was +gone. I haven't seen her since." + +"Dave," says Colonel Tom, "did McMakin +happen to mention to you, that day, just why he +was in Chicago?" + +"I suppose so," says the doctor. "I don't know. +Maybe not. That was twenty years ago. Why?" + +"Because," says Colonel Tom, very grim and +quiet, "because your first thought as to his intention +when he met you in the bar was MY idea also. I +thought he went to Chicago to settle with you. +You see, I got to Chicago that same afternoon." + +"The same day?" + +"Yes. We were to have come together. But +I missed the train, and he got there a day ahead +of me. He was waiting at the hotel for me to +join him, and then we were going to look you up +together. He found you first and I never did +find you." + +"But I don't exactly understand," says the +doctor. "You say he had the idea of shooting +me." + +"I don't understand everything myself," says +Colonel Tom. "But I do understand that Prent +McMakin must have played some sort of a two- +faced game. He never said a word to me about +having seen you. + +"Listen," he goes on. "When you and Lucy +ran away it nearly killed our grandfather. In fact, +it finally did kill him. When we got Lucy's letter +that told you were in Chicago I went up to bring +her back home. We didn't know what we were +going to do, McMakin and I, but we were both +agreed that you needed killing. And he swore +that he would marry Lucy anyhow, even--" + +"MARRY HER!" sings out the doctor, "but we WERE +married." + +"Dave," Colonel Tom says very slow and steady, +"you keep SAYING you were married. But it's +strange--it's right STRANGE about that marriage." + +And he looked at the doctor hard and close, like +he would drag the truth out of him, and the doctor +met his look free and open. You would of thought +Colonel Tom was saying with his look: "You MUST +tell me the truth." And the doctor with his was +answering: "I HAVE told you the truth." + +"But, Tom," says the doctor, "that letter she +wrote you from Chicago must--" + +"Do you know what Lucy wrote?" interrupts +Colonel Tom. "I remember exactly. It was sim- +ply: 'FORGIVE ME. I LOVED HIM SO. I AM HAPPY. +I KNOW IT IS WRONG, BUT I LOVE HIM SO YOU MUST +FORGIVE ME.'" + +"But couldn't you tell from THAT we were married?" +cries out the doctor. + +"She didn't mention it," says Colonel Tom. + +"She supposed that her own family had enough +faith in her to take it for granted," says the doctor, +very scornful, his face getting red. + +"But wait, Dave," says Colonel Tom, quiet and +cool. "Don't bluster with me. There are still a +lot of things to be explained. And that marriage +is one of them. + +"To go back a bit. You say you got to the house +somewhere around ten o'clock that evening and +found Lucy gone. Do you remember the day of +the month?" + +"It was November 14, 1888." + +"Exactly," says Colonel Tom. "I got to Chicago +at six o'clock of that very day. And I went at +once to the address in Lucy's letter. I got there +between seven and eight o'clock. She was gone. +My thought was that you must have got wind of +my coming and persuaded her to leave with you in +order to avoid me--although I didn't see how you +could know when I would get there, either, when +I thought it over." + +"And you have never seen her since," says Arm- +strong, pondering. + +"I HAVE seen her since," says Colonel Tom, "and +that is one thing that makes me say your story needs +further explanation." + +"But where--when--did you see her?" asts +the doctor, mighty excited. + +"I am coming to that. I went back home again. +And in July of the next year I heard from her." + +"Heard from her?" + +"By letter. She was in Galesburg, Illinois, +if you know where that is. She was living there +alone. And she was almost destitute. I wrote +her to come home. She would not. But she had +to live. I got rid of some of our property in Ten- +nessee, and took enough cash up there with me to +fix her, in a decent sort of way, for the rest of her +life, and put it in the bank. I was with her there for +ten days; then I went back home to get Aunt Lucy +Davis to help me in another effort to persuade her +to return. But when I got back North with Aunt +Lucy she had gone." + +"Gone?" + +"Yes, and when we returned without her to +Tennessee there was a letter telling us not to try to +find her. We thought--I thought--that she +might have taken up with you once again." + +"But, my God! Tom," the doctor busts out, +"you were with her ten days there in Galesburg! +Didn't she tell you then--couldn't you tell from +the way she acted--that she had married +me?" + +"That's the odd thing, Dave," says the colonel, +very slow and thoughtful. "That's what is so very +strange about it all. I merely assumed by my atti- +tude that you were not married, and she let me +assume it without a protest." + +"But did you ask her?" + +"Ask her? No. Can't you see that there was +no reason why I should ask her? I was sure. And +being sure of it, naturally I didn't talk about it to +her. You can understand that I wouldn't, can't +you? In fact, I never mentioned you to her. She +never mentioned you to me." + +"You must have mistaken her, Tom." + +"I don't think it's possible, Dave," said the +colonel. "You can mistake words and explanations +a good deal easier than you can mistake an atmos- +phere. No, Dave, I tell you that there's something +odd about it--married or not, Lucy didn't BELIEVE +herself married the last time I saw her." + +"But she MUST have known," says the doctor, +as much to himself as to the colonel. "She MUST +have known." Any one could of told by the way +he said it that he wasn't lying. I could see that +Colonel Tom believed in him, too. They was both +sicking their intellects onto the job of figgering out +how it was Lucy didn't know. Finally the doctor +says very thoughtful: + +"Whatever became of Prentiss McMakin, Tom?" + +"Dead," says Colonel Tom, "quite a while ago." + +"H-m," says the doctor, still thinking hard. +And then looks at Colonel Tom like they was an +idea in his head. Which he don't speak her out. +But Colonel Tom seems to understand. + +"Yes," he says, nodding his head. "I think +you are on the right track now. Yes--I shouldn't +wonder." + +Well, they puts this and that together, and they +agrees that whatever happened to make things hard +to explain must of happened on that day that +Prentiss McMakin met the doctor in the bar-room, +and didn't shoot him, as he had made his brags he +would. Must of happened between the time that +afternoon when Prentiss McMakin left the doctor +and the time Colonel Tom went out to see his sister +and found she had went. Must of happened some- +how through Prent McMakin. + +We goes home with Colonel Tom that night. And +the next day all three of us is on our way to Athens, +Indiany, where I had seen Miss Lucy at. + + + + + +CHAPTER XXIII + + +Fur my part, as the train kept getting further +and further north, my feelings kept getting +more and more mixed. It come to me +that I might be steering straight fur a bunch of +trouble. The feeling that sadness and melancholy +and seriousness was laying ahead of me kept me +from really enjoying them dollar-apiece meals on +the train. It was Martha that done it. All this +past and gone love story I had been hearing about +reminded me of Martha. And I was steering +straight toward her, and no way out of it. How +did I know but what that there girl might be expect- +ing fur to marry me, or something like that? Not +but what I was awful in love with her whilst we was +together. But it hadn't really set in on me very +deep. I hadn't forgot about her right away. But +purty soon I had got to forgetting her oftener than +I remembered her. And now it wasn't no use talk- +ing--I jest wasn't in love with Martha no more, and +didn't have no ambition to be. I had went around +the country a good bit, and got intrusted in other +things, and saw several other girls I liked purty well. +Keeping steady in love with jest one girl is mighty +hard if you are moving around a good bit. + +But I was considerable worried about Martha. +She was an awful romanceful kind of girl. And +even the most sensible kind is said to be fools about +getting their hearts broke and pining away and +dying over a feller. I would hate to think Martha +had pined herself sick. + +I couldn't shut my eyes to the fact we was en- +gaged to each other legal, all right. And if she +wanted to act mean about it and take it to a +court it would likely be binding on me. Then I +says to myself is she is mean enough to do that I'll be +derned if I don't go to jail before I marry her, +and stay there. + +And then my conscience got to working inside of +me agin. And a picture of her getting thin and not +eating her vittles regular and waiting and waiting +fur me to show up, and me never doing it, come to +me. And I felt sorry fur poor Martha, and thought +mebby I would marry her jest to keep her from +dying. Fur you would feel purty tough if a girl +was to get so stuck on you it killed her. Not that +I ever seen that really happen, either; but first and +last there has been considerable talk about it. + +It wasn't but what I liked Martha well enough. +It was the idea of getting married, and staying +married, made me feel so anxious. Being married +may work out all right fur some folks. But I +knowed it never would work any with me. Or not +fur long. Because why should I want to be tied +down to one place, or have a steady job? That +would be a mean way to live. + +Of course, with a person that was the doctor's +age it would be different. He had done his running +around and would be willing to settle down now, I +guessed. That is, if he could get his differences with +this here Buckner family patched up satisfactory. +I wondered whether he would be able to or not. +Him and Colonel Tom were talking constant on the +train all the way up. From the little stretches of +their talk I couldn't help hearing, I guessed each +one was telling the other all that had happened +to him in the time that had passed by. Colonel +Tom what kind of a life he had lived, and how he had +married and his wife had died and left him a wid- +ower without any kids. And the doctor--it was +always hard fur me to get to calling him anything +but Doctor Kirby--how he had happened to start +out with a good chancet in life and turn into jest +a travelling fakir. + +Well, I thinks to myself now that he has got to be +that, mebby her and him won't suit so well now, +even if they does get their differences patched up. +Fur all the forgiving in the world ain't going to +change things, or make them no different. But, so +long as the doctor appeared to want to find her so +derned bad, I was awful glad I had been the means +of getting him and Miss Lucy together. He had +done a lot fur me, first and last, the doctor had, and +I felt like it helped pay him a little. Though if they +was to settle down like married folks I would feel +like a good old sport was spoiled in the doctor, +too. + +We had to change cars at Indianapolis to get to +that there little town. We was due to reach it +about two o'clock in the afternoon. And the nearer +we got to the place the nervouser and nervouser all +three of us become. And not owning we was. The +last hour before we hit the place, I took a drink of +water every three minutes, I was so nervous. And +when we come into the town I was already standing +out onto the platform. I wouldn't of been sur- +prised to find Martha and Miss Lucy down there to +the station. But, of course, they wasn't. Fur +some reason I felt glad they wasn't. + +"Now," I says to them two, as we got off the +train, "foller me and I will show you the house." + +Everybody rubbers at strangers in a country +town, and wonders why they have come, and what +they is selling, and if they are mebby going to start +a new grain elevator, or buy land, or what. The +usual ones around the depot rubbered at us, and I +hearn one geezer say to another: + +"See that big feller there? He was through here +a year or two ago selling patent medicine." + +"You don't say so!" says the other one, like it +was something important, like a president or a circus +had come, and his eyes a-bugging out. And the +doctor hearn them, too. Fur some reason or other +he flushed up and cut a look out of the corner of his +eye at Colonel Tom. + +We went right through the main street and out +toward the edge of town, by the crick, where Miss +Lucy's house was. And, if anything, all of us feel- +ing nervouser yet. And saying nothing and not +looking at each other. And Colonel Tom rolling +cigarettes and fumbling fur matches and lighting +them and slinging them away. Fur how does any- +body know how women is going to take even the +most ordinary little things? + +I knowed the way well enough, and where the +house was, but as we went around the turn in the +road I run acrost a surprised feeling. I come onto +the place where our campfire had been them nights +we was there. Looey had drug an old fence post +onto the fire one night, and the post had only burned +half up. The butt end of it, all charred and flaked, +was still laying in the grass and weeds there. It +hit me with a queer feeling--like it was only yester- +day that fire had been lit there. And yet I knowed +it had been a year and a half ago. + +Well, it has always been my luck to run into +things without the right kind of a lie fixed up ahead +of time. They was three or four purty good stories +I had been trying over in my head to tell Martha +when I seen her. Any one of them stories might of +done all right; but I hadn't decided WHICH one to +use. And, of course, I run plumb into Martha. +She was standing by the gate, which was about +twenty yards from the veranda. And all four lies +popped into my head at oncet, and got so mixed up +with one another there, I seen right off it was useless +to try to tell anything that sounded straight. Be- +sides, when you are in the fix I was in, what can you +tell a girl anyhow? + +So I jest says to her: + +"Hullo!" + +Martha, she had been fussing around some flower +bushes with a pair of shears and gloves on. She +looks up when I says that, and she sizes us all up +standing by the gate, and her eyes pops open, and so +does her mouth, and she is so surprised to see me she +drops her shears. + +And she looks scared, too. + +"Is Miss Buckner at home?" asts Colonel Tom, +lifting his hat very polite. + +"Miss B-B-Buckner?" Martha stutters, very +scared-like, and not taking her eyes off of me to +answer him. + +"Miss Hampton, Martha," I says. + +"Y-y-y-es, s-sh-she is," says Martha. I wondered +what was the matter with her. + +It is always my luck to get left all alone with my +troubles. The doctor and the colonel, they walked +right past us when she said yes, and up toward the +house, and left her and me standing there. I +could of went along and butted in, mebby. But I +says to myself I will have the derned thing out here +and now, and know the worst. And I was so +interested in my trouble and Martha that I didn't +even notice if Miss Lucy met 'em at the door, and +if so, how she acted. When I next looked up they +was all in the house. + +"Martha--" I begins. But she breaks in. + +"Danny," she says, looking like she is going to +cry, "don't l-l-look at me l-l-like that. If you +knew ALL you wouldn't blame me. You--" + +"Wouldn't blame you fur what?" I asts her. + +"I know it's wrong of me," she says, begging-like. + +"Mebby it is and mebby it ain't," I says. "But +what is it?" + +"But you never wrote to me," she says. + +"You never wrote to me," I says, not wanting +her to get the best of me, whatever it was she might +be talking about. + +"And then HE came to town!--" + +"Who?" I asts her. + +"Don't you know?" she says. "The man I am +going to marry." + +When she said that I felt, all of a sudden, like +when you are broke and hungry and run acrost a +half dollar you had forgot about in your other pants. +I was so glad I jumped. + +"Great guns!" I says. + +I had never really knowed what being glad was +before. + +"Oh, Danny, Danny," she says, putting her +hands in front of her face, "and here you have come +to claim me for your bride!" + +Which showed me why she had looked so scared. +That there girl had went and got engaged to another +feller. And had been laying awake nights suffering +fur fear I would turn up agin. And now I had. +Looey, he always said never to trust a woman! + +"Martha," I says, "you ain't acted right with me." + +"Oh, Danny, Danny," she says, "I know it! I +know it!" + +"Some fellers in my place," I says, "would raise +a dickens of a row." + +"I DID love you once," she says, looking at me +from between her fingers. + +"Yes," says I, acting real melancholy, "you did. +And now you've quit it, they don't seem to me to be +nothing left to live fur." Martha, she was an awful +romanceful girl. I got the notion that mebby she +was enjoying her own remorsefulness a little bit. +I fetched a deep sigh and I says: + +"Some fellers would kill theirselves on the spot!" + +"Oh!--Oh!--Oh!--" says Martha. + +"But, Martha," says I, "I ain't that mean. I +ain't going to do that." + +That dern girl ackshellay give me a disappointed +look! If anything, she was jest a bit TOO romanceful, +Martha was. + +"No," says I, cheering up a little, "I am going +to do something they ain't many fellers would +do, Martha. I'm going to forgive you. Free +and fair and open. And give you back my half of +that ring, and--" + +Dern it! I had forgot I had lost that half of that +there ring! I remembered so quick it stopped me. + +"You always kept it, Danny?" she asts me, very +soft-spoken, so as not to give pain to one so faithful +and so noble as what I was. "Let me see it, Danny." + +I made like I was feeling through all my pockets +fur it. But that couldn't last forever. I run out +of pockets purty soon. And her face begun to show +she was smelling a rat. Finally I says: + +"These ain't my other clothes--it must be in +them." + +"Danny," she says, "I believe you LOST it." + +"Martha," I says, taking a chancet, "you know +you lost YOUR half!" + +She owns up she has lost it a long while ago. +And when she lost it, she says, she knowed that +was fate and that our love was omened in under an +evil star. And who was she, she says, to struggle +agin fate? + +"Martha," I says, "I'll be honest with you. +Fate got away with my half too one day when I +didn't know they was crooks like her sticking +around." + +Well, I seen that girl seen through me then. +Martha was awful smart sometimes. And each +one was so derned tickled the other one wasn't go- +ing to do any pining away we like to of fell into +love all over agin. But not quite. Fur neither one +would ever trust the other one agin. So we felt +more comfortable with each other. You ain't +never comfortable with a person you know is more +honest than you be. + +"But," says Martha, after a minute, "if you didn't +come back to make me marry you, what does +Doctor Kirby want to see Miss Hampton about? +And who was that with him?" + +I had been nigh to forgetting the main thing we +had all come here fur, in my gladness at getting rid +of any danger of marrying Martha. But it come to +me all to oncet I had been missing a lot that must be +taking place inside that house. I had even missed +the way they first looked when she met 'em at the +door, and I wouldn't of missed that fur a lot. And +I seen all to oncet what a big piece of news it +will be to Martha. + +"Martha," I says, "they ain't no Dr. Hartley L. +Kirby. The man known as such is David Arm- +strong!" + +I never seen any one so peetrified as Martha was +fur a minute. + +"Yes," says I, "and the other one is Miss Lucy's +brother. And they are all three in there straighten- +ing themselves out and finding where everybody +gets off at, and why. One of these here serious +times you read about. And you and me are missing +it all, like a couple of gumps. How can we hear?" + +Martha says she don't know. + +"You THINK," I told her. "We've wasted five +good minutes already. I've GOT to hear the rest of +it. Where would they be?" + +Martha guesses they will all be in the sitting room, +which has got the best chairs in it. + +"What is next to it? A back parlour, or a bed- +room, or what?" I was thinking of how I happened +to overhear Perfessor Booth and his fambly +that-a-way. + +Martha says they is nothing like that to be +tried. + +"Martha," I says, "this is serious. This here +story they are thrashing out in there is the only +derned sure-enough romanceful story either you +or me is ever lible to run up against personal in all +our lives. It would of been a good deal nicer if +they had ast us in to see the wind-up of it. Fur, if +it hadn't of been fur me, they never would of been +reunited and rejuvenated the way they be. But +some people get stingy streaks with their concerns. +You think!" + +Martha, she says: "Danny, it wouldn't be +honourable to listen." + +"Martha," I tells her, "after the way you and +me went and jilted each other, what kind of senses +of honour have WE got to brag about?" + +She remembers that the spare bedroom is right +over the sitting room. The house is heated with +stoves in the winter time. There is a register right +through the floor of the spare bedroom and the +ceiling of the sitting room. Not the kind of a +register that comes from a twisted-around shaft in +a house that uses furnace heat. But jest really a +hole in the floor, with a cast-iron grating, to let +the heat from the room below into the one above. +She says she guesses two people that wasn't so +very honourable might sneak into the house the +back way, and up the back stairs, and into the spare +bedroom, and lay down on their stummicks on the +floor, being careful to make no noise, and both see +and hear through that register. Which we done it. + + + + + +CHAPTER XXIV + + +I could hear well enough, but at first I couldn't +see any of them. But I gathered that Miss +Lucy was standing up whilst she was talking, +and moving around a bit now and then. I seen one +of her sleeves, and then a wisp of her hair. Which +was aggervating, fur I wanted to know what she +was like. But her voice was so soft and quiet that +you kind of knowed before you seen her how she +orter look. + +"Prentiss McMakin came to me that day," she +was saying, "with an appeal--I hardly know how +to tell you." She broke off. + +"Go ahead, Lucy," says Colonel Tom's voice. + +"He was insulting," she said. "He had been drink- +ing. He wanted me to--to--he appealed to me to +run off with him. + +"I was furious--NATURALLY." Her voice changed +as she said it enough so you could feel how furious +Miss Lucy could get. She was like her brother +Tom in some ways. + +"I ordered him out of the house. His answer to +that was an offer to marry me. You can imagine +that I was surprised as well as angry--I was +perplexed. + +"'But I AM married!' I cried. The idea that any +of my own people, or any one whom I had known at +home, would think I wasn't married was too much +for me to take in all at once. + +"'You THINK you are,' said Prentiss McMakin, +with a smile. + +"In spite of myself my breath stopped. It was +as if a chilly hand had taken hold of my heart. +I mean, physically, I felt like that. + +"'I AM married,' I repeated, simply. + +"I suppose that McMakin had got the story of +our wedding from YOU." She stopped a minute. +The doctor's voice answered: + +"I suppose so," like he was a very tired man. + +"Anyhow," she went on, "he knew that we went +first to Clarksville. He said: + +"'You think you are married, Lucy, but you +are not.' + +"I wish you to understand that Prentiss McMakin +did it all very, very well. That is my excuse. He +acted well. There was something about him--I +scarcely know how to put it. It sounds odd, but +the truth is that Prentiss McMakin was always a +more convincing sort of a person when he had been +drinking a little than when he was sober. He +lacked warmth--he lacked temperament. I suppose +just the right amount put it into him. It put the +devil into him, too, I reckon. + +"He told me that you and he, Tom, had been to +Clarksville, and had made investigations, and that +the wedding was a fraud. And he told it with a +wealth of convincing detail. In the midst of it he +broke off to ask to see my wedding certificate. As +he talked, he laughed at it, and tore it up, saying +that the thing was not worth the paper it was on, +and he threw the pieces of paper into the grate. I +listened, and I let him do it--not that the paper +itself mattered particularly. But the very fact that +I let him tear it showed me, myself, that I was +believing him. + +"He ended with an impassioned appeal to me to +go with him. + +"I showed him the door. I pretended to the +last that I thought he was lying to me. But I did +not think so. I believed him. He had done it all +very cleverly. You can understand how I might-- +in view of what had happened?" + +I wanted to see Miss Lucy--how she looked +when she said different things, so I could make up +my mind whether she was forgiving the doctor or +not. Not that I had much doubt but what they +would get their personal troubles fixed up in the +end. The iron grating in the floor was held down +by four good-sized screws, one at each corner. They +wasn't no filling at all betwixt it and the iron grating +that was in the ceiling of the room below. The +space was hollow. I got an idea and took out my +jack-knife. + +"What are you going to do?" whispers Martha. + +"S-sh-sh," I says, "shut up, and you'll see." + +One of the screws was loose, and I picked her out +easy enough. The second one I broke the point off of +my knife blade on. Like you nearly always do on +a screw. When it snapped Colonel Tom he says: + +"What's that?" He was powerful quick of hear- +ing, Colonel Tom was. I laid low till they went on +talking agin. Then Martha slides out on tiptoe and +comes back in three seconds with one of these here +little screw-drivers they use around sewing-machines +and the little oil can that goes with it. I oils them +screws and has them out in a holy minute, and lifts +the grating from the floor careful and lays it careful +on the rug. + +By doing all of which I could get my head and +shoulders down into that there hole. And by twist- +ing my neck a good deal, see a little ways to each +side into the room, instead of jest underneath the +grating. The doctor I couldn't see yet, and only a +little of Colonel Tom, but Miss Lucy quite plain. + +"You mean thing," Martha whispers, "you are +blocking it up so I can't hear." + +"Keep still," I whispers, pulling my head out of +the hole so the sound wouldn't float downward into +the room below. "You are jest like all other +women--you got too much curiosity." + +"How about yourself?" says she. + +"Who was it thought of taking the grating off?" +I whispers back to her. Which settles her tem- +porary, but she says if I don't give her a chancet at +it purty soon she will tickle my ribs. + +When I listens agin they are burying that there +Prent McMakin. But without any flowers. + +Miss Lucy, she was half setting on, half leaning +against, the arm of a chair. Which her head was +jest a bit bowed down so that I couldn't see her +eyes. But they was the beginnings of a smile onto +her face. It was both soft and sad. + +"Well," says Colonel Tom, "you two have wasted +almost twenty years of life." + +"There is one good thing," says the doctor. "It +is a good thing that there was no child to suffer by +our mistakes." + +She raised her face when he said that, Miss Lucy +did, and looked in his direction. + +"You call that a good thing?" she says, in a kind +of wonder. And after a minute she sighs. "Per- +haps," she says, "you are right. Heaven only +knows. Perhaps it WAS better that he died." + +"DIED!" sings out the doctor. + +And I hearn his chair scrape back, like he had riz +to his feet sudden. I nearly busted my neck trying +fur to see him, but I couldn't. I was all twisted up, +head down, and the blood getting into my head from +it so I had to pull it out every little while. + +"Yes," she says, with her eyes wide, "didn't you +know he died?" And then she turns quick toward +Colonel Tom. "Didn't you tell him--" she +begins. But the doctor cuts in. + +"Lucy," he says, his voice shaking and croaking +in his throat, "I never knew there was a child!" + +I hears Colonel Tom hawk in HIS throat like a +man who is either going to spit or else say something. +But he don't do either one. No one says anything +fur a minute. And then Miss Lucy says agin: + +"Yes--he died." + +And then she fell into a kind of a muse. I have +been myself in the fix she looked to be in then--so +you forget fur a while where you are, or who is there, +whilst you think about something that has been in +the back part of your mind fur a long, long time. + +What she was musing about was that child that +hadn't lived. I could tell that by her face. I +could tell how she must have thought of it, +often and often, fur years and years, and longed fur +it, so that it seemed to her at times she could +almost touch it. And how good a mother she would +of been to it. Some women has jest natcherally +GOT to mother something or other. Miss Lucy +was one of that kind. I knowed all in a flash, whilst I +looked at her there, why she had adopted Martha +fur her child. + +It was a wonderful look that was onto her face. +And it was a wonderful face that look was onto. I +felt like I had knowed her forever when I seen her +there. Like the thoughts of her the doctor had been +carrying around with him fur years and years, and +that I had caught him thinking oncet or twicet, had +been my thoughts too, all my life. + +Miss Lucy, she was one of the kind there's no use +trying to describe. The feller that could see her +that-a-way and not feel made good by it orter have +a whaling. Not the kind of sticky, good feeling +that makes you uncomfortable, like being pestered +by your conscience to jine a church or quit cussing. +But the kind of good that makes you forget they is +anything on earth but jest braveness of heart and +being willing to bear things you can't help. You +knowed the world had hurt her a lot when you seen +her standing there; but you didn't have the nerve to +pity her none, either. Fur you could see she had +got over pitying herself. Even when she was in +that muse, longing with all her soul fur that child +she had never knowed, you didn't have the nerve +to pity her none. + +"He died," she says agin, purty soon, with that +gentle kind of smile. + +Colonel Tom, he clears his throat agin. Like +when you are awful dry. + +"The truth is--" he begins. + +And then he breaks off agin. Miss Lucy turns +toward him when he speaks. By the strange look +that come onto her face there must of been some- +thing right curious in HIS manner too. I was jest +simply laying onto my forehead mashing one of my +dern eyeballs through a little hole in the grating. +But I couldn't, even that way, see fur enough to one +side to see how HE looked. + +"The truth is," says Colonel Tom, trying it agin, +"that I--well, Lucy, the child may be dead, but he +didn't die when you thought he did." + +There was a flash of hope flared into her face that +I hated to see come there. Because when it died +out in a minute, as I expected it would have to, +it looked to me like it might take all her life out +with it. Her lips parted like she was going to say +something with them. But she didn't. She jest +looked it. + +"Why did you never tell me this--that there was +a child?" says the doctor, very eager. + +"Wait," says Colonel Tom, "let me tell the story +in my own way." + +Which he done it. It seems when he had went to +Galesburg this here child had only been born a few +days. And Miss Lucy was still sick. And the +kid itself was sick, and liable to die any minute, by +the looks of things. + +Which Colonel Tom wishes that it would die, in +his heart. He thinks that it is an illegitimate child, +and he hates the idea of it and he hates the sight +of it. The second night he is there he is setting in +his sister's room, and the woman that has been +nursing the kid and Miss Lucy too is in the next +room with the kid. + +She comes to the door and beckons to him, the +nurse does. He tiptoes toward her, and she says +to him, very low-voiced, that "it is all over." +Meaning the kid has quit struggling fur to live, and +jest natcherally floated away. The nurse had +thought Miss Lucy asleep, but as both her and +Colonel Tom turn quick toward her bed they see +that she has heard and seen, and she turns her face +toward the wall. Which he tries fur to comfort +her, Colonel Tom does, telling her as how it is an +illegitimate child, and fur its own sake it was better +it was dead before it ever lived any. Which she +don't answer of him back, but only stares in a wild- +eyed way at him, and lays there and looks desperate, +and says nothing. + +In his heart Colonel Tom is awful glad that it is +dead. He can't help feeling that way. And he +quits trying to talk to his sister, fur he +suspicions that she will ketch onto the fact that +he is glad that it is dead. He goes on into the +next room. + +He finds the nurse looking awful funny, and +bending over the dead kid. She is putting a look- +ing-glass to its lips. He asts her why. + +She says she thought she might be mistaken after +all. She couldn't say jest WHEN it died. It was +alive and feeble, and then purty soon it showed no +signs of life. It was like it hadn't had enough +strength to stay and had jest went. I didn't show +any pulse, and it didn't appear to be breathing. +And she had watched it and done everything be- +fore she beckoned to Colonel Tom and told him that +it was dead. But as she come back into the room +where it was she thought she noticed something +that was too light to be called a real flutter move its +eyelids, which she had closed down over its eyes. +It was the ghost of a move, like it had tried to raise +the lids, or they had tried to raise theirselves, and +had been too weak. So she has got busy and +wrapped a hot cloth around it, and got a drop of +brandy or two between its lips, and was fighting to +bring it back to life. And thought she was doing +it. Thought she had felt a little flutter in its chest, +and was trying if it had breath at all. + +Colonel Tom thinks of what big folks the Buckner +fambly has always been at home. And how high +they had always held their heads. And how none +of the women has ever been like this before. Nor +no disgrace of any kind. And that there kid, if it +is alive, is a sign of disgrace. And he hoped to God, +he said, it wasn't alive. + +But he don't say so. He stands there and +watches that nurse fight fur to hold onto the little +mist of life she thinks now is still into it. She un- +buttons her dress and lays the kid against the heat +of her own breast. And wills fur it to live, and +fights fur it to, and determines that it must, and jest +natcherally tries fur to bullyrag death into going +away. And Colonel Tom watching, and wishing +that it wouldn't. But he gets interested in that +there fight, and so purty soon he is hoping both ways +by spells. And the fight all going on without a +word spoken. + +But finally the nurse begins fur to cry. Not be- +cause she is sure it is dead. But because she is sure +it is coming back. Which it does, slow. + +"'But I have told HER that it is dead,'" says Colonel +Tom, jerking his head toward the other room where +Miss Lucy is lying. He speaks in a low voice and +closes the door when he speaks. Fur it looks now +like it was getting strong enough so it might even +squall a little. + +"I don't know what kind of a look there was on +my face," says Colonel Tom, telling of the story to +his sister and the doctor, "but she must have seen +that I was--and heaven help me, but I WAS!--sorry +that the baby was alive. It would have been such +an easy way out of it had it been really dead! + +"'She mustn't know that it is living,' I said to +the nurse, finally," says Colonel Tom, going on with +his story. I had been watching Miss Lucy's face +as Colonel Tom talked and she was so worked up +by that fight fur the kid's life she was breath- +less. But her eyes was cast down, I guess so her +brother couldn't see them. Colonel Tom goes on +with his story: + +"'You don't mean--' said the nurse, startled. + +"'No! No!' I said, 'of course--not that! But-- +why should she ever know that it didn't die?'" + +"'It is illegitimate?' asked the nurse. + +"'Yes,' I said." The long and short of it was, +Colonel Tom went on to tell, that the nurse went out +and got her mother. Which the two of them lived +alone, only around the corner. And give the child +into the keeping of her mother, who took it away +then and there. + +Colonel Tom had made up his mind there wasn't +going to be no bastards in the Buckner fambly. +And now that Miss Lucy thought it was dead he +would let her keep on thinking so. And that would +be settled for good and all. He figgered that it +wouldn't ever hurt her none if she never +knowed it. + +The nurse's mother kept it all that week, and it +throve. Colonel Tom was coaxing of his sister to +go back to Tennessee. But she wouldn't go. So +he had made up his mind to go back and get his +Aunt Lucy Davis to come and help him coax. He +was only waiting fur his sister to get well enough so +he could leave her. She got better, and she never +ast fur the kid, nor said nothing about it. Which +was probable because she seen he hated it so. He +had made up his mind, before he went back after +their Aunt Lucy Davis, to take the baby himself and +put it into some kind of an institution. + +"I thought," he says to Miss Lucy, telling of the +story, "that you yourself were almost reconciled +to the thought that it hadn't lived." + +Miss Lucy interrupted him with a little sound. +She was breathing hard, and shaking from head to +foot. No one would have thought to look at her +then she was reconciled to the idea that it hadn't +lived. It was cruel hard on her to tear her to pieces +with the news that it really had lived, but had lived +away from her all these years she had been longing +fur it. And no chancet fur her ever to mother it. +And no way to tell what had ever become of it. I +felt awful sorry fur Miss Lucy then. + +"But when I got ready to leave Galesburg," +Colonel Tom goes on, "it suddenly occurred to me +that there would be difficulties in the way of putting +it in a home of any sort. I didn't know what to do +with it--" + +"What DID you? What DID you? WHAT DID YOU?" +cries out Miss Lucy, pressing her hand to her chest, +like she was smothering. + +"The first thing I did," says Colonel Tom, "was +to get you to another house--you remember, +Lucy?" + +"Yes, yes!" she says, excited, "and what then?" + +"Perhaps I did a very foolish thing," says Colonel +Tom. + +"After I had seen you installed in the new place +and had bidden you good-bye, I got a carriage and +drove by the place where the nurse and her mother +lived. I told the woman that I had changed my +mind--that you were going to raise the baby-- +that I was going to permit it. I don't think she +quite believed me, but she gave me the baby. What +else could she do? Besides, I had paid her well, +when I discharged her, to say nothing to you, and to +keep the baby until I should come for it. They +needed money; they were poor. + +"I was determined that it should never be heard +of again. It was about noon when I left Galesburg. +I drove all that afternoon, with the baby in a basket +on the seat of the carriage beside me. Everybody +has read in books, since books were first written-- +and seen in newspapers, too--about children being +left on door steps. Given an infant to dispose of, +that is perhaps the first thing that occurs to a per- +son. There was a thick plaid shawl wrapped about +the child. In the basket, beside the baby, was a +nursing bottle. About dusk I had it refilled with +warm milk at a farmhouse near--" + +My head was beginning fur to swim. I pulled my +head out of that there hole, and rammed my foot +into it. It banged against that grating and loosened +it. It busted loose some plaster, which showered +down into the room underneath. Miss Lucy, she +screamed. And the doctor and Colonel Tom both +yelled out to oncet: + +"Who's that?" + +"It's me," I yells, banging that grating agin. +"Watch out below there!" And the third lick I +give her she broke loose and clattered down right +onto a centre table and spilled over some pho- +tographs and a vase full of flowers, and bounced off +onto the floor. + +"Look out below," I yells, "I'm coming down!" + +I let my legs through first, and swung them so I +would land to one side of the table, and held by my +hands, and dropped. But struck the table a side- +ways swipe and turned it over, and fell onto the +floor. The doctor, he grabbed me by the collar and +straightened me up, and give me a shake and stood +me onto my feet. + +"What do you mean--" he begins. But I +breaks in. + +"Now then," I says to Colonel Tom, "did you +leave that there child sucking that there bottle on +the doorstep of a blacksmith's house next to his shop +at the edge of a little country town about twenty +miles northeast of Galesburg wrapped up in that +there plaid shawl?" + +"I did," says Colonel Tom. + +"Then," says I, turning to Miss Lucy, "I can +understand why I have been feeling drawed to YOU +fur quite a spell. I'm him." + + + + + +End of The Project Gutenberg Etext Danny's Own Story by Don Marquis + + + + +Note: I have made the following changes to the text: +PAGE LINE ORIGINAL CHANGED TO + 17 28 Primose, Primrose, + 41 12 jests looks jest looks + 83 14 to, too, + 84 4 jests sets jest sets + 89 28 it it. + 99 13 our fur out fur + 121 4 Chieftan. Chieftain. + 121 16 i it if it + 160 8 them. then. + 183 18 sir fo' sir, fo' + 189 16 shedon' she don' + 207 22 purty seen purty soon + 210 5 They way The way + 212 6 pintetdly pintedly + 251 2 Witherses.' Witherses'. + 251 22 toe hurt to hurt + 269 3 "Gentleman, "Gentlemen, + 276 19 'Will," "Will," + 282 9 <i>won't!</i>" <i>won't</i> + 288 16 real y really + 292 10 t ouble. trouble. + 308 1 al right all right + 316 4 I says," they I says, "they + + +End of The Project Gutenberg Etext Danny's Own Story by Don Marquis + diff --git a/old/dsown10.zip b/old/dsown10.zip Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..7ac643f --- /dev/null +++ b/old/dsown10.zip |