diff options
Diffstat (limited to '587.txt')
| -rw-r--r-- | 587.txt | 8504 |
1 files changed, 8504 insertions, 0 deletions
@@ -0,0 +1,8504 @@ +The Project Gutenberg EBook of Danny's Own Story, by Don Marquis + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: Danny's Own Story + +Author: Don Marquis + +Release Date: July, 1996 [Etext #587] +Posting Date: November 24, 2009 +Last Updated: August 2, 2016 + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ASCII + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK DANNY'S OWN STORY *** + + + + +Produced by Judith Boss + + + + + +DANNY'S OWN STORY + +By Don Marquis + + + TO + MY WIFE + + + + +CHAPTER I + + +HOW I come not to have a last name is a question that has always had +more or less aggervation mixed up with it. I might of had one jest +as well as not if Old Hank Walters hadn't been so all-fired, infernal +bull-headed about things in gineral, and his wife Elmira a blame sight +worse, and both of em ready to row at a minute's notice and stick to it +forevermore. + +Hank, he was considerable of a lusher. One Saturday night, when he come +home from the village in his usual fix, he stumbled over a basket that +was setting on his front steps. Then he got up and drawed back his foot +unsteady to kick it plumb into kingdom come. Jest then he hearn Elmira +opening the door behind him, and he turned his head sudden. But the kick +was already started into the air, and when he turns he can't stop it. +And so Hank gets twisted and falls down and steps on himself. That +basket lets out a yowl. + +"It's kittens," says Hank, still setting down and staring at that there +basket. All of which, you understand, I am a-telling you from hearsay, +as the lawyers always asts you in court. + +Elmira, she sings out: + +"Kittens, nothing! It's a baby!" + +And she opens the basket and looks in and it was me. + +"Hennerey Walters," she says--picking me up, and shaking me at him like +I was a crime, "Hennerey Walters, where did you get this here baby?" She +always calls him Hennerey when she is getting ready to give him fits. + +Hank, he scratches his head, for he's kind o' confuddled, and thinks +mebby he really has brought this basket with him. He tries to think of +all the places he has been that night. But he can't think of any place +but Bill Nolan's saloon. So he says: + +"Elmira, honest, I ain't had but one drink all day." And then he kind o' +rouses up a little bit, and gets surprised and says: + +"That a BABY you got there, Elmira?" And then he says, dignified: "So +fur as that's consarned, Elmira, where did YOU get that there baby?" + +She looks at him, and she sees he don't really know where I come from. +Old Hank mostly was truthful when lickered up, fur that matter, and she +knowed it, fur he couldn't think up no lies excepting a gineral denial +when intoxicated up to the gills. + +Elmira looks into the basket. They was one of them long rubber tubes +stringing out of a bottle that was in it, and I had been sucking that +bottle when interrupted. And they wasn't nothing else in that basket but +a big thick shawl which had been wrapped all around me, and Elmira +often wore it to meeting afterward. She goes inside and she looks at +the bottle and me by the light, and Old Hank, he comes stumbling in +afterward and sets down in a chair and waits to get Hail Columbia for +coming home in that shape, so's he can row back agin, like they done +every Saturday night. + +Blowed in the glass of the bottle was the name: "Daniel, Dunne and +Company." Anybody but them two old ignoramuses could of told right off +that that didn't have nothing to do with me, but was jest the company +that made them kind of bottles. But she reads it out loud three or four +times, and then she says: + +"His name is Daniel Dunne," she says. + +"And Company," says Hank, feeling right quarrelsome. + +"COMPANY hain't no name," says she. + +"WHY hain't it, I'd like to know?" says Hank. "I knowed a man oncet +whose name was Farmer, and if a farmer's a name why ain't a company a +name too?" + +"His name is Daniel Dunne," says Elmira, quietlike, but not dodging a +row, neither. + +"AND COMPANY," says Hank, getting onto his feet, like he always done +when he seen trouble coming. When Old Hank was full of licker he knowed +jest the ways to aggervate her the worst. + +She might of banged him one the same as usual, and got her own eye +blacked also, the same as usual; but jest then I lets out another big +yowl, and she give me some milk. + +I guess the only reason they ever kep' me at first was so they could +quarrel about my name. They'd lived together a good many years and +quarrelled about everything else under the sun, and was running out of +subjects. A new subject kind o' briskened things up fur a while. + +But finally they went too far with it one time. I was about two years +old then and he was still calling me Company and her calling me Dunne. +This time he hits her a lick that lays her out and likes to kill her, +and it gets him scared. But she gets around agin after a while, and they +both see it has went too fur that time, and so they makes up. + +"Elmira, I give in," says Hank. "His name is Dunne." + +"No," says she, tender-like, "you was right, Hank. His name is Company." +So they pretty near got into another row over that. But they finally +made it up between em I didn't have no last name, and they'd jest call +me Danny. Which they both done faithful ever after, as agreed. + +Old Hank, he was a blacksmith, and he used to lamm me considerable, him +and his wife not having any kids of their own to lick. He lammed me when +he was drunk, and he whaled me when he was sober. I never helt it up +agin him much, neither, not fur a good many years, because he got me +used to it young, and I hadn't never knowed nothing else. Hank's wife, +Elmira, she used to lick him jest about as often as he licked her, and +boss him jest as much. So he fell back on me. A man has jest naturally +got to have something to cuss around and boss, so's to keep himself +from finding out he don't amount to nothing. Leastways, most men is like +that. And Hank, he didn't amount to much; and he kind o' knowed it, way +down deep in his inmost gizzards, and it were a comfort to him to have +me around. + +But they was one thing he never sot no store by, and I got along now to +where I hold that up agin him more'n all the lickings he ever done. That +was book learning. He never had none himself, and he was sot agin it, +and he never made me get none, and if I'd ever asted him for any he'd +of whaled me fur that. Hank's wife, Elmira, had married beneath her, and +everybody in our town had come to see it, and used to sympathize with +her about it when Hank wasn't around. She'd tell em, yes, it was so. +Back in Elmira, New York, from which her father and mother come to our +part of Illinoise in the early days, her father had kep' a hotel, +and they was stylish kind o' folks. When she was born her mother was +homesick fur all that style and fur York State ways, and so she named +her Elmira. + +But when she married Hank, he had considerable land. His father had left +it to him, but it was all swamp land, and so Hank's father, he hunted +more'n he farmed, and Hank and his brothers done the same when he was a +boy. But Hank, he learnt a little blacksmithing when he was growing up, +cause he liked to tinker around and to show how stout he was. Then, +when he married Elmira Appleton, he had to go to work practising that +perfession reg'lar, because he never learnt nothing about farming. He'd +sell fifteen or twenty acres, every now and then, and they'd be high +times till he'd spent it up, and mebby Elmira would get some new +clothes. + +But when I was found on the door step, the land was all gone, and Hank +was practising reg'lar, when not busy cussing out the fellers that had +bought the land. Fur some smart fellers had come along, and bought up +all that swamp land and dreened it, and now it was worth seventy or +eighty dollars an acre. Hank, he figgered some one had cheated him. +Which the Walterses could of dreened theirn too, only they'd ruther +hunt ducks and have fish frys than to dig ditches. All of which I hearn +Elmira talking over with the neighbours more'n once when I was growing +up, and they all says: "How sad it is you have came to this, Elmira!" +And then she'd kind o' spunk up and say, thanks to glory, she'd kep' her +pride. + +Well, they was worse places to live in than that there little town, even +if they wasn't no railroad within eight miles, and only three hundred +soles in the hull copperation. Which Hank's shop and our house set in +the edge of the woods jest outside the copperation line, so's the city +marshal didn't have no authority to arrest him after he crossed it. + +They was one thing in that house I always admired when I was a kid. And +that was a big cistern. Most people has their cisterns outside their +house, and they is a tin pipe takes all the rain water off the roof and +scoots it into them. Ourn worked the same, but our cistern was right in +under our kitchen floor, and they was a trap door with leather hinges +opened into it right by the kitchen stove. But that wasn't why I was +so proud of it. It was because that cistern was jest plumb full of +fish--bullheads and red horse and sunfish and other kinds. + +Hank's father had built that cistern. And one time he brung home some +live fish in a bucket and dumped em in there. And they growed. And they +multiplied in there and refurnished the earth. So that cistern had got +to be a fambly custom, which was kep' up in that fambly for a habit. +It was a great comfort to Hank, fur all them Walterses was great fish +eaters, though it never went to brains. We fed em now and then, and +throwed back in the little ones till they was growed, and kep' the dead +ones picked out soon's we smelled anything wrong, and it never hurt the +water none; and when I was a kid I wouldn't of took anything fur living +in a house like that. + +Oncet, when I was a kid about six years old, Hank come home from the +bar-room. He got to chasing Elmira's cat cause he says it was making +faces at him. The cistern door was open, and Hank fell in. Elmira was +over to town, and I was scared. She had always told me not to fool +around there none when I was a little kid, fur if I fell in there I'd be +a corpse quicker'n scatt. + +So when Hank fell in, and I hearn him splash, being only a little +feller, and awful scared because Elmira had always made it so strong, +I hadn't no sort of unbelief but what Hank was a corpse already. So I +slams the trap door shut over that there cistern without looking in, +fur I hearn Hank flopping around down in there. I hadn't never hearn +a corpse flop before, and didn't know but what it might be somehow +injurious to me, and I wasn't going to take no chances. + +So I went out and played in the front yard, and waited fur Elmira. But +I couldn't seem to get my mind settled on playing I was a horse, nor +nothing. I kep' thinking mebby Hank's corpse is going to come flopping +out of that cistern and whale me some unusual way. I hadn't never been +licked by a corpse, and didn't rightly know jest what one is, anyhow, +being young and comparitive innocent. So I sneaks back in and sets +all the flatirons in the house on top of the cistern lid. I hearn some +flopping and splashing and spluttering, like Hank's corpse is trying to +jump up and is falling back into the water, and I hearn Hank's voice, +and got scareder yet. And when Elmira come along down the road, she seen +me by the gate a-crying, and she asts me why. + +"Hank is a corpse," says I, blubbering. + +"A corpse!" says Elmira, dropping her coffee which she was carrying home +from the gineral store and post-office. "Danny, what do you mean?" + +I seen I was to blame somehow, and I wisht then I hadn't said nothing +about Hank being a corpse. And I made up my mind I wouldn't say nothing +more. So when she grabs holt of me and asts me agin what did I mean +I blubbered harder, jest the way a kid will, and says nothing else. I +wisht I hadn't set them flatirons on that door, fur it come to me all at +oncet that even if Hank HAS turned into a corpse I ain't got any right +to keep him in that cistern. + +Jest then Old Mis' Rogers, which is one of our neighbours, comes by, +while Elmira is shaking me and yelling out what did I mean and how did +it happen and had I saw it and where was Hank's corpse? + +And Mis' Rogers she says, "What's Danny been doing now, Elmira?" me +being always up to something. + +Elmira she turned around and seen her, and she gives a whoop and then +hollers out: "Hank is dead!" and throws her apern over her head and sets +right down in the path and boo-hoos like a baby. And I bellers louder. + +Mis' Rogers, she never waited to ast nothing more. She seen she had a +piece of news, and she's bound to be the first to spread it, like they +is always a lot of women wants to be in them country towns. She run +right acrost the road to where the Alexanderses lived. Mis' Alexander, +she seen her coming and unhooked the screen door, and Mis' Rogers she +hollers out before she reached the porch: + +"Hank Walters is dead." + +And then she went footing it up the street. They was a black plume on +her bunnet which nodded the same as on a hearse, and she was into and +out of seven front yards in five minutes. + +Mis' Alexander, she runs acrost the street to where we was, and she +kneels down and puts her arm around Elmira, which was still rocking back +and forth in the path, and she says: + +"How do you know he's dead, Elmira? I seen him not more'n an hour ago." + +"Danny seen it all," says Elmira. + +Mis' Alexander turned to me, and wants to know what happened and how it +happened and where it happened. But I don't want to say nothing about +that cistern. So I busts out bellering fresher'n ever, and I says: + +"He was drunk, and he come home drunk, and he done it then, and that's +how he done it," I says. + +"And you seen him?" she says. I nodded. + +"Where is he?" says she and Elmira, both to oncet. + +But I was scared to say nothing about that there cistern, so I jest +bawled some more. + +"Was it in the blacksmith shop?" says Mis' Alexander. I nodded my head +agin and let it go at that. + +"Is he in there now?" asts Mis' Alexander. I nodded agin. I hadn't meant +to give out no untrue stories. But a kid will always tell a lie, not +meaning to tell one, if you sort of invite him with questions like that, +and get him scared the way you're acting. Besides, I says to myself, "so +long as Hank has turned into a corpse and that makes him dead, what's +the difference whether he's in the blacksmith shop or not?" Fur I hadn't +had any plain idea, being such a little kid, that a corpse meant to be +dead, and wasn't sure what being dead was like, neither, except they had +funerals over you then. I knowed being a corpse must be some sort of +a big disadvantage from the way Elmira always says keep away from that +cistern door or I'll be one. But if they was going to be a funeral in +our house, I'd feel kind o' important, too. They didn't have em every +day in our town, and we hadn't never had one of our own. + +So Mis' Alexander, she led Elmira into the house, both a-crying, and +Mis' Alexander trying to comfort her, and me a tagging along behind +holding onto Elmira's skirts and sniffling into them. And in a few +minutes all them women Mis' Rogers has told come filing into that room, +one at a time, looking sad. Only Old Mis' Primrose, she was awful late +getting there because she stopped to put on her bunnet she always wore +to funerals with the black Paris lace on it her cousin Arminty White had +sent her from Chicago. + +When they found out Hank had come home with licker in him and done it +himself, they was all excited, and they all crowds around and asts me +how, except two as is holding onto Elmira's hands which sets moaning in +a chair. And they all asts me questions as to what I seen him do, which +if they hadn't I wouldn't have told em the lies I did. But they egged me +on to it. + +Says one woman: "Danny, you seen him do it in the blacksmith shop?" + +I nodded. + +"But how did he get in?" sings out another woman. "The door was locked +on the outside with a padlock jest now when I come by. He couldn't of +killed himself in there and locked the door on the outside." + +I didn't see how he could of done that myself, so I begun to bawl agin +and said nothing at all. + +"He must of crawled through that little side window," says another one. +"It was open when I come by, if the door WAS locked. Did you see him +crawl through the little side window, Danny?" + +I nodded. They wasn't nothing else fur me to do. + +"But YOU hain't tall enough to look through that there window," says +another one to me. "How could you see into that shop, Danny?" + +I didn't know, so I didn't say nothing at all; I jest sniffled. + +"They is a store box right in under that window," says another one. +"Danny must have clumb onto that store box and looked in after he seen +Hank come down the road and crawl through the window. Did you scramble +onto the store box and look in, Danny?" + +I jest nodded agin. + +"And what was it you seen him do? How did he kill himself?" they all +asts to oncet. + +_I_ didn't know. So I jest bellers and boo-hoos some more. Things was +getting past anything I could see the way out of. + +"He might of hung himself to one of the iron rings in the jists above +the forge," says another woman. "He clumb onto the forge to tie the rope +to one of them rings, and he tied the other end around his neck, and +then he stepped off'n the forge. Was that how he done it, Danny?" + +I nodded. And then I bellered louder than ever. I knowed Hank was down +in that there cistern, a corpse and a mighty wet corpse, all this time; +but they kind o' got me to thinking mebby he was hanging out in the shop +by the forge, too. And I guessed I'd better stick to the shop story, not +wanting to say nothing about that cistern no sooner'n I could help it. + +Pretty soon one woman says, kind o' shivery: + +"I don't want to have the job of opening the door of that blacksmith +shop the first one!" + +And they all kind o' shivered then, and looked at Elmira. They says to +let some of the men open it. And Mis' Alexander, she says she'll run +home and tell her husband right off. + +And all the time Elmira is moaning in that chair. One woman says Elmira +orter have a cup o' tea, which she'll lay off her bunnet and go to the +kitchen and make it fur her. But Elmira says no, she can't a-bear to +think of tea, with poor Hennerey a-hanging out there in the shop. But +she was kind o' enjoying all that fuss being made over her, too. And all +the other women says: + +"Poor thing!" But all the same they was mad she said she didn't want any +tea, for they all wanted some and didn't feel free without she took it +too. Which she said she would after they'd coaxed a while and made her +see her duty. + +So they all goes out to the kitchen, bringing along some of the best +room chairs, Elmira coming too, and me tagging along behind. And the +first thing they noticed was them flatirons on top of the cistern door. +Mis' Primrose, she says that looks funny. But another woman speaks up +and says Danny must of been playing with them while Elmira was over +town. She says, "Was you playing they was horses, Danny?" + +I was feeling considerable like a liar by this time, but I says I was +playing horses with them, fur I couldn't see no use in hurrying things +up. I was bound to get a lamming purty soon anyhow. When I was a kid I +could always bet on that. So they picks up the flatirons, and as they +picks em up they come a splashing noise in the cistern. I thinks to +myself, Hank's corpse'll be out of there in a minute. One woman, she +says: + +"Goodness gracious sakes alive! What's that, Elmira?" + +Elmira says that cistern is mighty full of fish, and they is some great +big ones in there, and it must be some of them a-flopping around. Which +if they hadn't of been all worked up and talking all to oncet and all +thinking of Hank's body hanging out there in the blacksmith shop they +might of suspicioned something. For that flopping kep' up steady, and a +lot of splashing too. I mebby orter mentioned sooner it had been a dry +summer and they was only three or four feet of water in our cistern, and +Hank wasn't in scarcely up to his big hairy chest. So when Elmira says +the cistern is full of fish, that woman opens the trap door and looks +in. Hank thinks it's Elmira come to get him out. He allows he'll keep +quiet in there and make believe he is drowned and give her a good scare +and make her sorry fur him. But when the cistern door is opened, he +hears a lot of clacking tongues all of a sudden like they was a hen +convention on. He allows she has told some of the neighbours, and he'll +scare them too. So Hank, he laid low. And the woman as looks in sees +nothing, for it's as dark down there as the insides of the whale what +swallered Noah. But she leaves the door open and goes on a-making tea, +and they ain't skeercly a sound from that cistern, only little, ripply +noises like it might have been fish. + +Pretty soon a woman says: + +"It has drawed, Elmira; won't you have a cup?" Elmira she kicked some +more, but she took hern. And each woman took hern. And one woman, +a-sipping of hern, she says: + +"The departed had his good pints, Elmira." + +Which was the best thing had been said of Hank in that town fur years +and years. + +Old Mis' Primrose, she always prided herself on being honest, no matter +what come, and she ups and says: + +"I don't believe in no hippercritics at a time like this, no more'n no +other time. The departed wasn't no good, and the hull town knowed it; +and Elmira orter feel like it's good riddance of bad rubbish and them is +my sentiments and the sentiments of rightfulness." + +All the other women sings out: + +"W'y, MIS' PRIMROSE! I never!" And they seemed awful shocked. But down +in underneath more of em agreed than let on. Elmira she wiped her eyes +and she said: + +"Hennerey and me has had our troubles. They ain't any use in denying +that, Mis' Primrose. It has often been give and take between us and +betwixt us. And the hull town knows he has lifted his hand agin me +more'n oncet. But I always stood up to Hennerey, and I fit him back, +free and fair and open. I give him as good as he sent on this here +earth, and I ain't the one to carry no annermosities beyond the grave. I +forgive Hank all the orneriness he done me, and they was a lot of it, as +is becoming unto a church member, which he never was." + +And all the women but Mis' Primrose, they says: + +"Elmira Appleton, you HAVE got a Christian sperrit!" Which done her a +heap of good, and she cried considerable harder, leaking out tears as +fast as she poured tea in. Each one on em tries to find out something +good to say about Hank, only they wasn't much they could say. And Hank +in that there cistern a-listening to every word of it. + +Mis' Rogers, she says: + +"Afore he took to drinking like a fish, Hank Walters was as likely +looking a young feller as I ever see." + +Mis' White, she says: + +"Well, Hank he never was a stingy man, nohow. Often and often White has +told me about seeing Hank, after he'd sold a piece of land, treating the +hull town down in Nolan's bar-room jest as come-easy, go-easy as if it +wasn't money he orter paid his honest debts with." + +They set there that-a-way telling of what good pints they could think of +fur ten minutes, and Hank a-hearing it and getting madder and madder +all the time. The gineral opinion was that Hank wasn't no good and +was better done fur, and no matter what they said them feelings kep' +sticking out through the words. + +By and by Tom Alexander come busting into the house, and his wife, Mis' +Alexander, was with him. + +"What's the matter with all you folks," he says. "They ain't nobody +hanging in that there blacksmith shop. I broke the door down and went +in, and it was empty." + +Then they was a pretty howdy-do, and they all sings out: + +"Where's the corpse?" + +And some thinks mebby some one has cut it down and took it away, and all +gabbles to oncet. But for a minute no one thinks mebby little Danny has +been egged on to tell lies. Little Danny ain't saying a word. But Elmira +she grabs me and shakes me and she says: + +"You little liar, you, what do you mean by that tale you told?" + +I thinks that lamming is about due now. But whilst all eyes is turned on +me and Elmira, they comes a voice from that cistern. It is Hank's voice, +and he sings out: + +"Tom Alexander, is that you?" + +Some of the women scream, for some thinks it is Hank's ghost. But one +woman says what would a ghost be doing in a cistern? + +Tom Alexander, he laughs and he says: + +"What in blazes you want to jump in there fur, Hank?" + +"You dern ijut!" says Hank, "you quit mocking me and get a ladder, and +when I get out'n here I'll learn you to ast what did I want to jump in +here fur!" + +"You never seen the day you could do it," says Tom Alexander, meaning +the day he could lick him. "And if you feel that way about it you can +stay there fur all of me. I guess a little water won't hurt you none." +And he left the house. + +"Elmira," sings out Hank, mad and bossy, "you go get me a ladder!" + +But Elmira, her temper riz up too, all of a sudden. + +"Don't you dare order me around like I was the dirt under your feet, +Hennerey Walters," she says. + +At that Hank fairly roared, he was so mad. He says: + +"Elmira, when I get out'n here I'll give you what you won't fergit in a +hurry. I hearn you a-forgiving me and a-weeping over me, and I won't be +forgive nor weeped over by no one! You go and get that ladder." + +But Elmira only answers: + +"You wasn't sober when you fell into there, Hennerey Walters. And now +you can jest stay in there till you get a better temper on you!" And all +the women says: "That's right, Elmira; spunk up to him!" + +They was considerable splashing around in the water fur a couple of +minutes. And then, all of a sudden, a live fish come a-whirling out +of that hole, which he had ketched it with his hands. It was a big +bullhead, and its whiskers around its mouth was stiffened into spikes, +and it lands kerplump into Mis' Rogers's lap, a-wiggling, and it kind +o' horns her on the hands, and she is that surprised she faints. Mis' +Primrose, she gets up and pushes that fish back into the cistern with +her foot from the floor where it had fell, and she says right decided: + +"Elmira Walters, that was Elmira Appleton, if you let Hank out'n that +cistern before he has signed the pledge and promised to jine the church +you're a bigger fool 'n I take you to be. A woman has got to make a +stand!" With that she marches out'n our house. + +Then all the women sings out: + +"Send fur Brother Cartwright! Send fur Brother Cartwright!" + +And they sent me scooting acrost town to get him quick. Which he was the +preacher of the Baptist church and lived next to it. And I hadn't got no +lamming yet! + + + + + +CHAPTER II + + +I never stopped to tell but two, three folks on the way to Brother +Cartwright's, but they must of spread it quick. 'Cause when I got back +home with him it seemed like the hull town was there. It was along about +dusk by this time, and it was a prayer-meeting night at the church. +Mr. Cartwright told his wife to tell the folks what come to the +prayer-meeting he'd be back before long, and to wait fur him. Which she +really told them where he had went, and what fur. Mr. Cartwright +marches right into the kitchen. All the chairs in our house was into the +kitchen, and the women was a-talking and a-laughing, and they had sent +over to Alexanderses for their chairs and to Rogerses for theirn. Every +oncet in a while they would be a awful bust of language come up from +that hole where that unreginerate old sinner was cooped up in. + +I have travelled around considerable since them days, and I have mixed +up along of many kinds of people in many different places, and some +of 'em was cussers to admire. But I never hearn such cussing before or +since as old Hank done that night. He busted his own records and riz +higher'n his own water marks for previous times. I wasn't nothing but +a little kid then, and skeercly fitten fur to admire the full beauty of +it. They was deep down cusses, that come from the heart. Looking back +at it after all these years, I can believe what Brother Cartwright said +himself that night, that it wasn't natcheral cussing and some higher +power, like a demon or a evil sperrit, must of entered into Hank's human +carkis and give that turrible eloquence to his remarks. It busted out +every few minutes, and the women would put their fingers into their ears +till a spell was over. And it was personal, too. Hank, he would listen +until he hearn a woman's voice that he knowed, and then he would let +loose on her fambly, going backwards to her grandfathers and downwards +to her children's children. If her father had once stolen a hog, or her +husband done any disgrace that got found out on him, Hank would put it +all into his gineral remarks, with trimmings onto it. + +Brother Cartwright, he steps up to the hole in the floor when he first +comes in and he says, gentle-like and soothing, like a undertaker when he +tells you where to set at a home funeral: + +"Brother Walters." + +"Brother!" Hank yells out, "don't ye brother me, you sniffling, +psalm-singing, yaller-faced, pigeon-toed hippercrit, you! Get me a +ladder, gol dern you, and I'll come out'n here and learn you to brother +me, I will." Only that wasn't nothing to what Hank really said to that +preacher; no more like it than a little yaller, fluffy canary is like a +buzzard. + +"Brother Walters," says the preacher, ca'am but firm, "we have all +decided that you ain't going to come out of that cistern till you sign +the pledge." + +And Hank tells him what he thinks of pledges and him and church doings, +and it wasn't purty. And he says if he was as deep in eternal fire as +what he now is in rain-water, and every fish that nibbles at his toes +was a preacher with a red-hot pitchfork a-jabbing at him, they could jab +till the hull hereafter turned into snow afore he'd ever sign nothing a +man like Mr. Cartwright give him to sign. Hank was stubborner than any +mule he ever nailed shoes onto, and proud of being that stubborn. That +town was a awful religious town, and Hank he knowed he was called the +most onreligious man in it, and he was proud of that too; and if any one +called him a heathen it jest plumb tickled him all over. + +"Brother Walters," says that preacher, "we are going to pray for you." + +And they done it. They brought all them chairs close up around that +cistern, in a ring, and they all kneeled down there, with their heads +on 'em, and they prayed fur Hank's salvation. They done it up in style, +too, one at a time, and the others singing out, "Amen!" every now and +then, and they shed tears down onto Hank. The front yard was crowded +with men, all a-laughing and a-talking and chawing and spitting tobacco +and betting how long Hank would hold out. Old Si Emery, that was the +city marshal, and always wore a big nickel-plated star, was out there +with 'em. Si was in a sweat, 'cause Bill Nolan, that run the bar-room, +and some more of Hank's friends, or as near friends as he had, was out +in the road. They says to Si he must arrest that preacher, fur Hank is +being gradual murdered in that there water, and he'll die if he's helt +there too long, and it will be a crime. Only they didn't come into the +yard to say it amongst us religious folks. But Si, he says he dassent +arrest no one because it is outside the town copperation; but he's +considerable worried too about what his duty orter be. + +Pretty soon the gang that Mrs. Cartwright has rounded up at the +prayer-meeting comes stringing along in. They had all brung their hymn +books with them, and they sung. The hull town was there then, and they +all sung, and they sung revival hymns over Hank. And Hank he would jest +cuss and cuss. Every time he busted out into another cussing spell they +would start another hymn. Finally the men out in the front yard got +warmed up too, and begun to sing, all but Bill Nolan's crowd, and they +give Hank up for lost and went away disgusted. + +The first thing you knowed they was a reg'lar revival meeting there, and +that preacher was preaching a reg'lar revival sermon. I been to more'n +one camp meeting, but fur jest natcherally taking holt of the hull human +race by the slack of its pants and dangling of it over hell-fire, I +never hearn nothing could come up to that there sermon. Two or three old +backsliders in the crowd come right up and repented all over agin on the +spot. The hull kit and biling of 'em got the power good and hard, like +they does at camp meetings and revivals. But Hank, he only cussed. He +was obstinate, Hank was, and his pride and dander had riz up. Finally he +says: + +"You're taking a ornery, low-down advantage o' me, you are. Let me out'n +this here cistern and I'll show you who'll stick it out longest on dry +land, dern your religious hides!" + +Some of the folks there hadn't had no suppers, so after all the other +sinners but Hank had either got converted or else sneaked away, some of +the women says why not make a kind of love feast out of it, and bring +some vittles, like they does to church sociables. Because it seems +likely Satan is going to wrastle all night long, like he done with the +angel Jacob, and they ought to be prepared. So they done it. They went +and they come back with vittles and they made up hot coffee and they +feasted that preacher and theirselves and Elmira and me, all right in +Hank's hearing. + +And Hank was getting hungry himself. And he was cold in that water. And +the fish was nibbling at him. And he was getting cussed out and weak and +soaked full of despair. And they wasn't no way fur him to set down and +rest. And he was scared of getting a cramp in his legs, and sinking down +with his head under water and being drownded. He said afterward he'd of +done the last with pleasure if they was any way of suing that crowd fur +murder. So along about ten o'clock he sings out: + +"I give in, gosh dern ye! I give in. Let me out and I'll sign your pesky +pledge!" + +Brother Cartwright was fur getting a ladder and letting him climb out +right away. But Elmira, she says: + +"Don't you do it, Brother Cartwright; don't you do it. You don't know +Hank Walters like I does. If he oncet gets out o' there before he's +signed that pledge, he won't never sign it." + +So they fixed it up that Brother Cartwright was to write out a pledge +on the inside leaf of the Bible, and tie the Bible onto a string, and a +lead pencil onto another string, and let the strings down to Hank, +and he was to make his mark, fur he couldn't write, and they was to be +pulled up agin. Hank, he says all right, and they done it. But jest as +Hank was making his mark on the leaf of the book, that preacher done +what I has always thought was a mean trick. He was lying on the floor +with his head and shoulders into that hole as fur as he could, holding +a lantern way down into it, so as Hank could see. And jest as Hank made +that mark he spoke some words over him, and then he says: + +"Now, Henry Walters, I have baptized you, and you are a member of the +church." + +You'd a thought Hank would of broke out cussing agin at being took +unexpected that-a-way, fur he hadn't really agreed to nothing but +signing the pledge. But nary a cuss. He jest says: "Now, you get that +ladder." + +They got it, and he clumb up into the kitchen, dripping and shivering. + +"You went and baptized me in that water?" he asts the preacher. The +preacher says he has. + +"Then," says Hank, "you done a low-down trick on me. You knowed I has +made my brags I never jined no church nor never would jine. You knowed +I was proud of that. You knowed that it was my glory to tell of it, and +that I set a heap of store by it in every way. And now you've went and +took it away from me! You never fought it out fair and square, neither, +man playing to outlast man, like you done with this here pledge, but you +sneaked it in on me when I wasn't looking." + +They was a lot of men in that crowd that thought the preacher had went +too far, and sympathized with Hank. The way he done about that hurt +Brother Cartwright in our town, and they was a split in the church, +because some said it wasn't reg'lar and wasn't binding. He lost his +job after a while and become an evangelist. Which it don't make no +difference what one of them does, nohow. + +But Hank, he always thought he had been baptized reg'lar. And he never +was the same afterward. He had made his life-long brags, and his pride +was broke in that there one pertic'ler spot. And he sorrered and grieved +over it a good 'eal, and got grouchier and grouchier and meaner and +meaner, and lickered oftener, if anything. Signing the pledge couldn't +hold Hank. He was worse in every way after that night in the cistern, +and took to lamming me harder and harder. + + + + + +CHAPTER III + + +Well, all the lammings Hank laid on never done me any good. It seemed +like I was jest natcherally cut out to have no success in life, and no +amount of whaling could change it, though Hank, he was faithful. Before +I was twelve years old the hull town had seen it, and they wasn't +nothing else expected of me except not to be any good. + +That had its handy sides to it, too. They was lots of kids there that +had to go to school, but Hank, he never would of let me done that if I +had ast him, and I never asted. And they was lots of kids considerably +bothered all the time with their parents and relations. They made 'em go +to Sunday School, and wash up reg'lar all over on Saturday nights, and +put on shoes and stockings part of the time, even in the summer, and +some of 'em had to ast to go in swimming, and the hull thing was +a continuous trouble and privation to 'em. But they wasn't nothing +perdicted of me, and I done like it was perdicted. Everybody 'lowed +from the start that Hank would of made trash out'n me, even if I hadn't +showed all the signs of being trash anyhow. And if they was devilment +anywhere about that town they all says, "Danny, he done it." And like as +not I has. So I gets to be what you might call an outcast. All the kids +whose folks ain't trash, their mothers tells 'em not to run with me no +more. Which they done it all the more fur that reason, on the sly, and +it makes me more important with them. + +But when I gets a little bigger, all that makes me feel kind o' bad +sometimes. It ain't so handy then. Fur folks gets to saying, when I +would come around: + +"Danny, what do YOU want?" + +And if I says, "Nothing," they would say: + +"Well, then, you get out o' here!" + +Which they needn't of been suspicioning nothing like they pertended they +did, fur I never stole nothing more'n worter millions and mush millions +and such truck, and mebby now and then a chicken us kids use to roast in +the woods on Sundays, and jest as like as not it was one of Hank's hens +then, which I figgered I'd earnt it. + +Fur Hank, he had streaks when he'd work me considerable hard. He never +give me any money fur it. He loafed a lot too, and when he'd loaf I'd +loaf. But I did pick up right smart of handiness with tools around that +there shop of his'n, and if he'd ever of used me right I might of turned +into a purty fair blacksmith. But it wasn't no use trying to work fur +Hank. When I was about fifteen, times is right bad around the house fur +a spell, and Elmira is working purty hard, and I thinks to myself: + +"Well, these folks has kind o' brung you up, and you ain't never done +more'n Hank made you do. Mebby you orter stick to work a little more +when they's a job in the shop, even if Hank don't." + +Which I tried it fur about two or three years, doing as much work around +the shop as Hank done and mebby more. But it wasn't no use. One day +when I'm about eighteen, I seen awful plain I'll have to light out from +there. They was a circus come to town that day. I says to Hank: + +"Hank, they is a circus this afternoon and agin to-night." + +"So I has hearn," says Hank. + +"Are you going to it?" says I. + +"I mout," says Hank, "and then agin I moutn't. I don't see as it's no +consarns of yourn, nohow." I knowed he was going, though. Hank, he never +missed a circus. + +"Well," I says, "they wasn't no harm to ast, was they?" + +"Well, you've asted, ain't you?" says Hank. + +"Well, then," says I, "I'd like to go to that there circus myself." + +"They ain't no use in me saying fur you not to go," says Hank, "fur you +would go anyhow. You always does go off when you is needed." + +"But I ain't got no money," I says, "and I was going to ast you could +you spare me half a dollar?" + +"Great Jehosephat!" says Hank, "but ain't you getting stuck up! What's +the matter of you crawling in under the tent like you always done? First +thing I know you'll be wanting a pair of these here yaller shoes and a +stove-pipe hat." + +"No," says I, "I ain't no dude, Hank, and you know it. But they is +always things about a circus to spend money on besides jest the circus +herself. They is the side show, fur instance, and they is the grand +concert afterward. I calkelated I'd take 'em all in this year--the hull +dern thing, jest fur oncet." + +Hank, he looks at me like I'd asted fur a house 'n' lot, or a million +dollars, or something like that. But he don't say nothing. He jest +snorts. + +"Hank," I says, "I been doing right smart work around the shop fur two, +three years now. If you wasn't loafing so much you'd a noticed it more. +And I ain't never ast fur a cent of pay fur it, nor--" + +"You ain't wuth no pay," says Hank. "You ain't wuth nothing but to eat +vittles and wear out clothes." + +"Well," I says, "I figger I earn my vittles and a good 'eal more. And as +fur as clothes goes, I never had none but what Elmira made out'n yourn." + +"Who brung you up?" asts Hank. + +"You done it," says I, "and by your own say-so you done a dern poor job +at it." + +"You go to that there circus," says Hank, a-flaring up, "and I'll +lambaste you up to a inch of your life. So fur as handing out money fur +you to sling it to the dogs, I ain't no bank, and if I was I ain't no +ijut. But you jest let me hear of you even going nigh that circus lot +and all the lammings you has ever got, rolled into one, won't be +a measly little sarcumstance to what you WILL get. They ain't no +leather-faced young upstart with weepin'-willow hair going to throw up +to me how I brung him up. That's gratitood fur you, that is!" says Hank. +"If it hadn't of been fur me giving you a home when I found you first, +where would you of been now?" + +"Well," I says, "I might of been a good 'eal better off. If you hadn't +of took me in the Alexanderses would of, and then I wouldn't of been +kep' out of school and growed up a ignoramus like you is." + +"I never had no trouble keeping you away from school, I notice," says +Hank, with a snort. "This is the first I ever hearn of you wanting to go +there." + +Which was true in one way, and a lie in another. I hadn't never wanted +to go till lately, but he'd of lammed me if I had of wanted to. He +always said he would. And now I was too big and knowed it. + +Well, Hank, he never give me no money, so I watches my chancet that +afternoon and slips in under the tent the same as always. And I lays low +under them green benches and wiggled through when I seen a good chancet. +The first person I seen was Hank. Of course he seen me, and he shook +his fist at me in a promising kind of way, and they wasn't no trouble +figgering out what he meant. Fur a while I didn't enjoy that circus to +no extent. Fur I was thinking that if Hank tries to lick me fur it I'll +fight him back this time, which I hadn't never fit him back much yet fur +fear he'd pick up something iron around the shop and jest natcherally +lay me cold with it. + +I got home before Hank did. It was nigh sundown, and I was waiting in +the door of the shop fur Elmira to holler vittles is ready, and Hank +come along. He didn't waste no time. He steps inside the shop and he +takes down a strap and he says: + +"You come here and take off your shirt." + +But I jest moves away. Hank, he runs in on me, and he swings his strap. +I throwed up my arm, and it cut me acrost the knuckles. I run in on him, +and he dropped the strap and fetched me an openhanded smack plumb on the +mouth that jarred my head back and like to of busted it loose. Then I +got right mad, and I run in on him agin, and this time I got to him, and +wrastled with him. + +Well, sir, I never was so surprised in all my life before. Fur I hadn't +had holt on him more'n a minute before I seen I'm stronger than Hank +is. I throwed him, and he hit the ground with considerable of a jar, and +then I put my knee in the pit of his stomach and churned it a couple. +And I thinks to myself what a fool I must of been fur better'n a year, +because I might of done this any time. I got him by the ears and I +slammed his head into the gravel a few times, him a-reaching fur my +throat, and a-pounding me with his fists, but me a-taking the licks and +keeping holt. And I had a mighty contented time fur a few minutes there +on top of Hank, chuckling to myself, and batting him one every now and +then fur luck, and trying to make him holler it's enough. But Hank is +stubborn and he won't holler. And purty soon I thinks, what am I going +to do? Fur Hank will be so mad when I let him up he'll jest natcherally +kill me, without I kill him. And I was scared, because I don't want +neither one of them things to happen. Whilst I was thinking it over, +and getting scareder and scareder, and banging Hank's head harder and +harder, some one grabs me from behind. + +They was two of them, and one gets my collar and one gets the seat of +my pants, and they drug me off'n him. Hank, he gets up, and then he sets +down sudden on a horse block and wipes his face on his sleeve, which +they was considerable blood come onto the sleeve. + +I looks around to see who has had holt of me, and it is two men. One +of them looks about seven feet tall, on account of a big plug hat and a +long white linen duster, and has a beautiful red beard. In the road +they is a big stout road wagon, with a canopy top over it, pulled by two +hosses, and on the wagon box they is a strip of canvas. Which I couldn't +read then what was wrote on the canvas, but I learnt later it said, in +big print: + +SIWASH INDIAN SAGRAW. NATURE'S UNIVERSAL MEDICINAL SPECIFIC. DISCOVERED +BY DR. HARTLEY L. KIRBY AMONG THE ABORIGINES OF OREGON. + + +On account of being so busy, neither Hank nor me had hearn the wagon +come along the road and stop. The big man in the plug hat, he says, or +they was words to that effect, jest as serious: + +"Why are you mauling the aged gent?" + +"Well," says I, "he needed it considerable." + +"But," says he, still more solemn, "the good book says to honour thy +father and thy mother." + +"Well," I says, "mebby it does and mebby it don't. But HE ain't my +father, nohow. And he ain't been getting no more'n his come-uppings." + +"Vengeance is mine, saith the Lord," the big man remarks, very serious. +Hank, he riz up then, and he says: + +"Mister, be you a preacher? 'Cause if you be, the sooner you have druv +on, the better fur ye. I got a grudge agin all preachers." + +That feller, he jest looks Hank over ca'am and easy and slow before he +answers, and he wrinkles up his face like he never seen anything like +Hank before. Then he fetches a kind o' aggervating smile, and he says: + + + "Beneath a shady chestnut tree + The village blacksmith stands. + The smith, a pleasant soul is he + With warts upon his hands--" + + + +He stares at Hank hard and solemn and serious while he is saying that +poetry at him. Hank fidgets and turns his eyes away. But the feller +touches him on the breast with his finger, and makes him look at him. + +"My honest friend," says the feller, "I am NOT a preacher. Not right +now, anyhow. No! My mission is spreading the glad tidings of good +health. Look at me," and he swells his chest up, and keeps a-holt +of Hank's eyes with his'n. "You behold before you the discoverer, +manufacturer, and proprietor of Siwash Indian Sagraw, nature's own +remedy for Bright's Disease, rheumatism, liver and kidney trouble, +catarrh, consumption, bronchitis, ring-worm, erysipelas, lung fever, +typhoid, croup, dandruff, stomach trouble, dyspepsia--" And they was a +lot more of 'em. + +"Well," says Hank, sort o' backing up as the big man come nearer and +nearer to him, jest natcherally bully-ragging him with them eyes, "I got +none of them there complaints." + +The doctor he kind o' snarls, and he brings his hand down hard on Hank's +shoulder, and he says: + +"There are more things betwixt Dan and Beersheba than was ever dreamt +of in thy sagacity, Romeo!" Or they was words to that effect, fur that +doctor was jest plumb full of Scripter quotations. And he sings out +sudden, giving Hank a shove that nearly pushes him over: "Man alive!" he +yells, "you DON'T KNOW what disease you may have! Many's the strong man +I've seen rejoicing in his strength at the dawn of day cut down like the +grass in the field before sunset," he says. + +Hank, he's trying to look the other way, but that doctor won't let his +eyes wiggle away from his'n. He says very sharp: + +"Stick out your tongue!" + +Hank, he sticks her out. + +The doctor, he takes some glasses out'n his pocket and puts 'em on, and +he fetches a long look at her. Then he opens his mouth like he was going +to say something, and shuts it agin like his feelings won't let him. He +puts his arm across Hank's shoulder affectionate and sad, and then he +turns his head away like they was some one dead in the fambly. Finally, +he says: + +"I thought so. I saw it. I saw it in your eyes when I first drove up. I +hope," he says, very mournful, "I haven't come too late!" + +Hank, he turns pale. I was getting sorry fur Hank myself. I seen now why +I licked him so easy. Any one could of told from that doctor's actions +Hank was as good as a dead man already. But Hank, he makes a big effort, +and he says: + +"Shucks! I'm sixty-eight years old, doctor, and I hain't never had a +sick day in my life." But he was awful uneasy too. + +The doctor, he says to the feller with him: "Looey, bring me one of the +sample size." + +Looey brung it, the doctor never taking his eyes off'n Hank. He handed +it to Hank, and he says: + +"A whiskey glass full three times a day, my friend, and there is a good +chance for even you. I give it to you, without money and without price." + +"But what have I got?" asts Hank. + +"You have spinal meningitis," says the doctor, never batting an eye. + +"Will this here cure me?" says Hank. + +"It'll cure ANYTHING," says the doctor. + +Hank he says, "Shucks," agin, but he took the bottle and pulled the cork +out and smelt it, right thoughtful. And what them fellers had stopped +at our place fur was to have the shoe of the nigh hoss's off hind foot +nailed on, which it was most ready to drop off. Hank, he done it fur a +regulation, dollar-size bottle and they druv on into the village. + +Right after supper I goes down town. They was in front of Smith's Palace +Hotel. They was jest starting up when I got there. Well, sir, that +doctor was a sight. He didn't have his duster onto him, but his +stove-pipe hat was, and one of them long Prince Alferd coats nearly to +his knees, and shiny shoes, but his vest was cut out holler fur to show +his biled shirt, and it was the pinkest shirt I ever see, and in the +middle of that they was a diamond as big as Uncle Pat Hickey's wen, +what was one of the town sights. No, sir; they never was a man with more +genuine fashionableness sticking out all over him than Doctor Kirby. He +jest fairly wallered in it. + +I hadn't paid no pertic'ler attention to the other feller with him when +they stopped at our place, excepting to notice he was kind of slim +and blackhaired and funny complected. But I seen now I orter of looked +closeter. Fur I'll be dad-binged if he weren't an Injun! There he set, +under that there gasoline lamp the wagon was all lit up with, with +moccasins on, and beads and shells all over him, and the gaudiest turkey +tail of feathers rainbowing down from his head you ever see, and a +blanket around him that was gaudier than the feathers. And he shined and +rattled every time he moved. + +That wagon was a hull opry house to itself. It was rolled out in front +of Smith's Palace Hotel without the hosses. The front part was filled +with bottles of medicine. The doctor, he begun business by taking out a +long brass horn and tooting on it. They was about a dozen come, but they +was mostly boys. Then him and the Injun picked up some banjoes and sung +a comic song out loud and clear. And they was another dozen or so +come. And they sung another song, and Pop Wilkins, he closed up the +post-office and come over and the other two veterans of the Grand Army +of the Republicans that always plays checkers in there nights come along +with him. But it wasn't much of a crowd, and the doctor he looked sort +o' worried. I had a good place, right near the hind wheel of the wagon +where he rested his foot occasional, and I seen what he was thinking. So +I says to him: + +"Doctor Kirby, I guess the crowd is all gone to the circus agin +to-night." And all them fellers there seen I knowed him. + +"I guess so, Rube," he says to me. And they all laughed 'cause he called +me Rube, and I felt kind of took down. + +Then he lit in to tell about that Injun medicine. First off he told how +he come to find out about it. It was the father of the Injun what +was with him had showed him, he said. And it was in the days of his +youthfulness, when he was wild, and a cowboy on the plains of Oregon. +Well, one night he says, they was an awful fight on the plains of +Oregon, wherever them is, and he got plugged full of bullet holes. And +his hoss run away with him and he was carried off, and the hoss was +going at a dead run, and the blood was running down onto the ground. And +the wolves smelt the blood and took out after him, yipping and yowling +something frightful to hear, and the hoss he kicked out behind and +killed the head wolf and the others stopped to eat him up, and while +they was eating him the hoss gained a quarter of a mile. But they et him +up and they was gaining agin, fur the smell of human blood was on the +plains of Oregon, he says, and the sight of his mother's face when she +ast him never to be a cowboy come to him in the moonlight, and he knowed +that somehow all would yet be well, and then he must of fainted and he +knowed no more till he woke up in a tent on the plains of Oregon. And +they was an old Injun bending over him and a beautiful Injun maiden was +feeling of his pulse, and they says to him: + +"Pale face, take hope, fur we will doctor you with Siwash Injun Sagraw, +which is nature's own cure fur all diseases." + +They done it. And he got well. It had been a secret among them there +Injuns fur thousands and thousands of years. Any Injun that give away +the secret was killed and rubbed off the rolls of the tribe and buried +in disgrace upon the plains of Oregon. And the doctor was made a blood +brother of the chief, and learnt the secret of that medicine. Finally +he got the chief to see as it wasn't Christian to hold back that +there medicine from the world no longer, and the chief, his heart was +softened, and he says to go. + +"Go, my brother," he says, "and give to the pale faces the medicine +that has been kept secret fur thousands and thousands of years among the +Siwash Injuns on the plains of Oregon." + +And he went. It wasn't that he wanted to make no money out of that there +medicine. He could of made all the money he wanted being a doctor in the +reg'lar way. But what he wanted was to spread the glad tidings of good +health all over this fair land of ourn, he says. + +Well, sir, he was a talker, that there doctor was, and he knowed more +religious sayings and poetry along with it, than any feller I ever +hearn. He goes on and he tells how awful sick people can manage to get +and never know it, and no one else never suspicion it, and live along +fur years and years that-a-way, and all the time in danger of death. He +says it makes him weep when he sees them poor diluted fools going around +and thinking they is well men, talking and laughing and marrying and +giving in to marriage right on the edge of the grave. He sees dozens of +'em in every town he comes to. But they can't fool him, he says. He can +tell at a glance who's got Bright's Disease in their kidneys and who +ain't. His own father, he says, was deathly sick fur years and years and +never knowed it, and the knowledge come on him sudden like, and he died. +That was before Siwash Injun Sagraw was ever found out about. Doctor +Kirby broke down and cried right there in the wagon when he thought of +how his father might of been saved if he was only alive now that that +medicine was put up into bottle form, six fur a five-dollar bill so long +as he was in town, and after that two dollars fur each bottle at the +drug store. + +He unrolled a big chart and the Injun helt it by that there gasoline +lamp, so all could see, turning the pages now and then. It was a map of +a man's inside organs and digestive ornaments and things. They was red +and blue, like each organ's own disease had turned it, and some of 'em +was yaller. And they was a long string of diseases printed in black +hanging down from each organ's picture. I never knowed before they was +so many diseases nor yet so many things to have 'em in. + +Well, I was feeling purty good when that show started. But the doc, +he kep' looking right at me every now and then when he talked, and I +couldn't keep my eyes off'n him. + +"Does your heart beat fast when you exercise?" he asts the crowd. "Is +your tongue coated after meals? Do your eyes leak when your nose is +stopped up? Do you perspire under your arm pits? Do you ever have a +ringing in your ears? Does your stomach hurt you after meals? Does your +back ever ache? Do you ever have pains in your legs? Do your eyes blur +when you look at the sun? Are your teeth coated? Does your hair come out +when you comb it? Is your breath short when you walk up stairs? Do your +feet swell in warm weather? Are there white spots on your finger nails? +Do you draw your breath part of the time through one nostril and part +of the time through the other? Do you ever have nightmare? Did your +nose bleed easily when you were growing up? Does your skin fester when +scratched? Are your eyes gummy in the mornings? Then," he says, "if you +have any or all of these symptoms, your blood is bad, and your liver is +wasting away." + +Well, sir, I seen I was in a bad way, fur at one time or another I had +had most of them there signs and warnings, and hadn't heeded 'em, and I +had some of 'em yet. I begun to feel kind o' sick, and looking at them +organs and diseases didn't help me none, either. The doctor, he lit out +on another string of symptoms, and I had them, too. Seems to me I had +purty nigh everything but fits. Kidney complaint and consumption both +had a holt on me. It was about a even bet which would get me first. I +kind o' got to wondering which. I figgered from what he said that I'd +had consumption the LONGEST while, but my kind of kidney trouble was an +awful SLY kind, and it was lible to jump in without no warning a-tall +and jest natcherally wipe me out QUICK. So I sort o' bet on the +kidney trouble. But I seen I was a goner, and I forgive Hank all his +orneriness, fur a feller don't want to die holding grudges. + +Taking it the hull way through, that was about the best medicine show I +ever seen. But they didn't sell much. All the people what had any money +was to the circus agin that night. So they sung some more songs and +closed early and went into the hotel. + + + + +CHAPTER IV + + +Well, the next morning I'm feeling considerable better, and think mebby +I'm going to live after all. I got up earlier'n Hank did, and slipped +out without him seeing me, and didn't go nigh the shop a-tall. Fur now +I've licked Hank oncet I figger he won't rest till he has wiped that +disgrace out, and he won't care a dern what he picks up to do it with, +nuther. + +They was a crick about a hundred yards from our house, in the woods, +and I went over there and laid down and watched it run by. I laid awful +still, thinking I wisht I was away from that town. Purty soon a squirrel +comes down and sets on a log and watches me. I throwed an acorn at him, +and he scooted up a tree quicker'n scatt. And then I wisht I hadn't +scared him away, fur it looked like he knowed I was in trouble. Purty +soon I takes a swim, and comes out and lays there some more, spitting +into the water and thinking what shall I do now, and watching birds and +things moving around, and ants working harder'n ever I would agin unless +I got better pay fur it, and these here tumble bugs kicking their loads +along hind end to. + +After a while it is getting along toward noon, and I'm feeling hungry. +But I don't want to have no more trouble with Hank, and I jest lays +there. I hearn two men coming through the underbrush. I riz up on my +elbow to look, and one of them was Doctor Kirby and the other was Looey, +only Looey wasn't an Injun this morning. + +They sets down on the roots of a big tree a little ways off, with their +backs toward me, and they ain't seen me. So nacherally I listened to +what they was jawing about. They was both kind o' mad at the hull world, +and at our town in pertic'ler, and some at each other, too. The doctor, +he says: + +"I haven't had such rotten luck since I played the bloodhound in a Tom +Show--Were you ever an 'Uncle Tom's Cabin' artist, Looey?--and a justice +of the peace over in Iowa fined me five dollars for being on the street +without a muzzle. Said it was a city ordinance. Talk about the gentle +Rube being an easy mark! If these country towns don't get the wandering +minstrel's money one way they will another!" + +"It's your own fault," says Looey, kind o' sour. + +"I can't see it," says Doctor Kirby. "How did I know that all these +apple-knockers had been filled up with Sykes's Magic Remedy only two +weeks ago? I may have been a spiritualistic medium in my time now and +then," he says, "and a mind reader, too, but I'm no prophet." + +"I ain't talking about the business, Doc, and you know it," says Looey. +"We'd be all right and have our horses and wagon now if you'd only stuck +to business and not got us into that poker game. Talk about suckers! +Doc, for a man that has skinned as many of 'em as you have, you're the +worst sucker yourself I ever saw." + +The doctor, he cusses the poker game and country towns and medicine +shows and the hull creation and says he is so disgusted with life he +guesses he'll go and be a preacher or a bearded lady in a sideshow. But +Looey, he don't cheer up none. He says: + +"All right, Doc, but it's no use talking. You can TALK all right. We all +know that. The question is how are we going to get our horses and wagon +away from these Rubes?" + +I listens some more, and I seen them fellers was really into bad +trouble. Doctor Kirby, he had got into a poker game at Smith's Palace +Hotel the night before, right after the show. He had won from Jake +Smith, which run it, and from the others. But shucks! it never made no +difference what you won in that crowd. They had done Doctor Kirby and +Looey like they always done a drummer or a stranger that come along to +that town and was fool enough to play poker with them. They wasn't a +chancet fur an outsider. If the drummer lost, they would take his money +and that would be all they was to it. But if the drummer got to winning +good, some one would slip out'n the hotel and tell Si Emery, which was +the city marshal. And Si would get Ralph Scott, that worked fur Jake +Smith in his livery stable, and pin a star onto Ralph, too. And they +would be arrested fur gambling, only them that lived in our town would +get away. Which Si and Ralph was always scared every time they done it. +Then the drummer, or whoever it was, would be took to the calaboose, and +spend all night there. + +In the morning they would be took before Squire Matthews, that was +justice of the peace. They would be fined a big fine, and he would get +all the drummer had won and all he had brung to town with him besides. +Squire Matthews and Jake Smith and Windy Goodell and Mart Watson, which +the two last was lawyers, was always playing that there game on drummers +that was fool enough to play poker. Hank, he says he bet they divided it +up afterward, though it was supposed them fines went to the town. Well, +they played a purty closte game of poker in our little town. It was jest +like the doctor says to Looey: + +"By George," he says, "it is a well-nigh perfect thing. If you lose you +lose, and if you win you lose." + +Well, the doctor, he had started out winning the night before. And Si +Emery and Ralph Scott had arrested them. And that morning, while I had +been laying by the crick and the rest of the town was seeing the fun, +they had been took afore Squire Matthews and fined one hundred and +twenty-five dollars apiece. The doctor, he tells Squire Matthews it +is an outrage, and it ain't legal if tried in a bigger court, and they +ain't that much money in the world so fur as he knows, and he won't pay +it. But, the squire, he says the time has come to teach them travelling +fakirs as is always running around the country with shows and electric +belts and things that they got to stop dreening that town of hard-earned +money, and he has decided to make an example of 'em. The only two +lawyers in town is Windy and Mart, which has been in the poker game +theirselves, the same as always. The doctor says the hull thing is a +put-up job, and he can't get the money, and he wouldn't if he could, and +he'll lay in that town calaboose and rot the rest of his life and eat +the town poor before he'll stand it. And the squire says he'll jest take +their hosses and wagon fur c'latteral till they make up the rest of the +two hundred and fifty dollars. And the hosses and wagon was now in the +livery stable next to Smith's Palace Hotel, which Jake run that too. + +Well, I thinks to myself, it IS a dern shame, and I felt sorry fur them +two fellers. Fur our town was jest as good as stealing that property. +And I felt kind o' shamed of belonging to such a town, too. And I thinks +to myself, I'd like to help 'em out of that scrape. And then I seen +how I could do it, and not get took up fur it, neither. So, without +thinking, all of a sudden I jumps up and says: + +"Say, Doctor Kirby, I got a scheme!" + +They jumps up too, and they looks at me startled. Then the doctor kind +o' laughs and says: + +"Why, it's the young blacksmith!" + +Looey, he says, looking at me hard and suspicious: + +"What kind of a scheme are you talking about?" + +"Why," says I, "to get that outfit of yourn." + +"You've been listening to us," says Looey. Looey was one of them +quiet-looking fellers that never laughed much nor talked much. Looey, +he never made fun of nobody, which the doctor was always doing, and I +wouldn't of cared to make fun of Looey much, either. + +"Yes," I says, "I been laying here fur quite a spell, and quite +natcheral I listened to you, as any one else would of done. And mebby I +can get that team and wagon of yourn without it costing you a cent." + +Well, they didn't know what to say. They asts me how, but I says to +leave it all to me. "Walk right along down this here crick," I says, +"till you get to where it comes out'n the woods and runs acrost the road +in under an iron bridge. That's about a half a mile east. Jest after the +road crosses the bridge it forks. Take the right fork and walk another +half a mile and you'll see a little yaller-painted schoolhouse setting +lonesome on a sand hill. They ain't no school in it now. You wait there +fur me," I says, "fur a couple of hours. After that if I ain't there +you'll know I can't make it. But I think I'll make it." + +They looks at each other and they looks at me, and then they go off a +little piece and talk low, and then the doctor says to me: + +"Rube," he says, "I don't know how you can work anything on us that +hasn't been worked already. We've got nothing more we can lose. You go +to it, Rube." And they started off. + +So I went over town. Jake Smith was setting on the piazza in front of +his hotel, chawing and spitting tobacco, with his feet agin the railing +like he always done, and one of his eyes squinched up and his hat over +the other one. + +"Jake," I says, "where's that there doctor?" + +Jake, he spit careful afore he answered, and he pulled his long, +scraggly moustache careful, and he squinched his eyes at me. Jake was a +careful man in everything he done. + +"I dunno, Danny," he says. "Why?" + +"Well," I says, "Hank sent me over to get that wagon and them hosses of +theirn and finish that job." + +"That there wagon," says Jake, "is in my barn, with Si Emery watching +her, and she has got to stay there till the law lets her loose." I +figgered to myself Jake could use that team and wagon in his business, +and was going to buy her cheap offn the town, what share of her he +didn't figger he owned already. + +"Why, Jake," I says, "I hope they ain't been no trouble of no kind that +has drug the law into your barn!" + +"Well, Danny," he says, "they HAS been a little trouble. But it's about +over, now, I guess. And that there outfit belongs to the town now." + +"You don't say so!" says I, surprised-like. "When I seen them men last +night it looked to me like they was too fine dressed to be honest." + +"I don't think they be, Danny," says Jake, confidential. "In my opinion +they is mighty bad customers. But they has got on the wrong side of the +law now, and I guess they won't stay around here much longer." + +"Well," says I, "Hank will be glad." + +"Fur what?" asts Jake. + +"Well," says I, "because he got his pay in advance fur that job and now +he don't have to finish it. They come along to our place about sundown +yesterday, and we nailed a shoe on one hoss. They was a couple of +other hoofs needed fixing, and the tire on one of the hind wheels was +beginning to rattle loose." + +I had noticed that loose tire when I was standing by the hind wheel the +night before, and it come in handy now. So I goes on: + +"Hank, he allowed he'd fix the hull thing fur six bottles of that Injun +medicine. Elmira has been ailing lately, and he wanted it fur her. So +they handed Hank out six bottles then and there." + +"Huh!" says Jake. "So the job is all paid fur, is it?" + +"Yes," says I, "and I was expecting to do it myself. But now I guess +I'll go fishing instead. They ain't no other job in the shop." + +"I'll be dinged if you've got time to fish," says Jake. "I'm expecting +mebby to buy that rig off the town myself when the law lets loose of it. +So if the fixing is paid fur, I want everything fixed." + +"Jake," says I, kind of worried like, "I don't want to do it without +that doctor says to go ahead." + +"They ain't his'n no longer," says Jake. + +"I dunno," says I, "as you got any right to make me do it, Jake. It +don't look to me like it's no harm to beat a couple of fellers like them +out of their medicine. And I DID want to go fishing this afternoon." + +But Jake was that careful and stingy he'd try to skin a hoss twicet if +it died. He's bound to get that job done, now. + +"Danny," he says, "you gotto do that work. It ain't HONEST not to. What +a young feller like you jest starting out into life wants to remember is +to always be honest. Then," says Jake, squinching up his eyes, "people +trusts you and you get a good chancet to make money. Look at this here +hotel and livery stable, Danny. Twenty years ago I didn't have no more'n +you've got, Danny. But I always went by them mottoes--hard work and +being honest. You GOTTO nail them shoes on, Danny, and fix that wheel." + +"Well, all right, Jake," says I, "if you feel that way about it. Jest +give me a chaw of tobacco and come around and help me hitch 'em up." + +Si Emery was there asleep on a pile of straw guarding that property. But +Ralph Scott wasn't around. Si didn't wake up till we had hitched 'em up. +He says he will ride around to the shop with me. But Jake says: + +"It's all right, Si. I'll go over myself and fetch 'em back purty soon." +Which Si was wore out with being up so late the night before, and goes +back to sleep agin right off. + +Well, sir, they wasn't nothing went wrong. I drove slow through the +village and past our shop. Hank come to the door of it as I went past. +But I hit them hosses a lick, and they broke into a right smart trot. +Elmira, she come onto the porch and I waved my hand at her. She put her +hand up to her forehead to shut out the sun and jest stared. She didn't +know I was waving her farewell. Hank, he yelled something at me, but I +never hearn what. I licked them hosses into a gallop and went around the +turn of the road. And that's the last I ever seen or hearn of Hank or +Elmira or that there little town. + + + + + +CHAPTER V + + +I slowed down when I got to the schoolhouse, and both them fellers piled +in. + +"I guess I better turn north fur about a mile and then turn west, Doctor +Kirby," I says, "so as to make a kind of a circle around that town." + +"Why, so, Rube?" he asts me. + +"Well," I says, "we left it going east, and they'll foller us east; so +don't we want to be going west while they're follering east?" + +Looey, he agreed with me. But he said it wouldn't be much use, fur we +would likely be ketched up with and took back and hung or something, +anyhow. Looey could get the lowest in his sperrits sometimes of any man +I ever seen. + +"Don't be afraid of that," says the doctor. "They are not going to +follow us. THEY know they didn't get this property by due process of +law. THEY aren't going to take the case into a county court where it +will all come out about the way they robbed a couple of travelling men +with a fake trial." + +"I guess you know more about the law'n I do," I says. "I kind o' thought +mebby we stole them hosses." + +"Well," he says, "we got 'em, anyhow. And if they try to arrest us +without a warrant there'll be the deuce to pay. But they aren't going +to make any more trouble. I know these country crooks. They've got no +stomach for trouble outside their own township." + +Which made me feel considerable better, fur I never been of the opinion +that going agin the law done any one no good. + +They looks around in that wagon, and all their stuff was there--Jake +Smith and the squire having kep' it all together careful to make things +seem more legal, I suppose--and the doctor was plumb tickled, and Looey +felt as cheerful as he ever felt about anything. So the doctor says they +has everything they needs but some ready money, and he'll get that sure, +fur he never seen the time he couldn't. + +"But, Looey," he says, "I'm done with country hotels from now on. +They've got the last cent they ever will from me--at least in the summer +time." + +"How you going to work it?" Looey asts him, like he hasn't no hopes it +will work right. + +"Camp out," says the doctor. "I've been thinking it all over." Then he +turns to me. "Rube," he says, "where are you going?" + +"Well," I says, "I ain't pinted nowhere in pertic'ler except away from +that town we just left. Which my name ain't Rube, Doctor Kirby, but +Danny." + +"Danny what?" asts he. + +"Nothing," says I, "jest Danny." + +"Well, then, Danny," says he, "how would you like to be an Indian?" + +"Medical?" asts I, "or real?" + +"Like Looey," says he. + +I tells him being a medical Injun and mixed up with a show like his'n +would suit me down to the ground, and asts him what is the main duties +of one besides the blankets and the feathers. + +"Well," he says, "this camping-out scheme of mine will take a couple of +Indians. Instead of paying hotel and feed bills we'll pitch our tent," +he says, "at the edge of town in each sweet Auburn of the plains. We'll +save money and we'll be near the throbbing heart of nature. And an +Indian camp in each place will be a good advertisement for the Sagraw. +You can look after the horses and learn to do the cooking and that kind +o' thing. And maybe after while," he says, kind o' working himself up to +where he thought it was going to be real nice, "maybe after while I will +give you some insight into the hidden mysteries of selling Siwash Indian +Sagraw." + +"Well," says I, "I'd like to learn that." + +"Would you?" says he, kind o' laughing at himself and me too, and yet +kind o' enthusiastic, "well, then, the first thing you have to do is +learn how to sell corn salve. Any one that can sell corn salve can sell +anything. There's a farmhouse right over there, and I'll give you your +first lesson right now. Rummage around in that satchel there under the +seat and get me a tin box and some corn salve labels." + +I found a lot of labels, and some boxes too. The labels was all +different sizes, but barring that they all looked about the same to me. +Whilst I was sizing them up he asts me agin was they any corn salve ones +in there. + +"What colour label is it, Doctor Kirby?" I asts him. Fur they was blue +labels and white labels and pink labels. + +He looks at me right queer. "Can't you read the labels?" he says, right +sharp. + +"Well," I says, "I never been much of a reader when it comes to +different kind of medicines." + +"Corn salve is spelled only one way," says he. + +"That's right," I says, "and you'd think I orter be able to pick out a +common, ordinary thing like corn salve right off, wouldn't you?" + +"Danny," he says, "you don't mean to tell me you can't read anything at +all?" + +"I never told you nothing of the kind." + +He picks out a label. + +"If you can read so fast, what's that?" he asts. + +She is a pink one. I thinks to myself; she either is corn salve or else +she ain't corn salve. And it ain't natcheral he will pick corn salve, +fur he would think I would say that first off. So I'm betting it ain't. +I takes a chancet on it. + +"That," says I, "is mighty easy reading. That is Siwash Injun Sagraw." I +lost. + +"It's corn salve," he says. "And Great Scott! They call this the +twentieth century!" + +"I never called it that," says I, sort o' mad-like. Fur I was feeling +bad Doctor Kirby had found out I was such a ignoramus. + +"Where ignorance is bliss," says he, "it is folly to be wise. But all +the same, I'm going to take your education in hand and make you drink of +life's Peruvian springs." Or some spring like that it was. + +And the doctor, he done it. Looey said it wouldn't be no use learning to +read. He'd done a lot of reading, he said, and it never helped him none. +All he ever read showed him this feller Hamlet was right, he said, when +he wrote Shakespeare's works, and they wasn't much use in anything, +without you had a lot o' money. And they wasn't no chancet to get that +with all these here trusts around gobbling up everything and stomping +the poor man into the dirt, and they was lots of times he wisht he was +a Injun sure enough, and not jest a medical one, fur then he'd be a +free man and the bosses and the trusts and the railroads and the robber +tariff couldn't touch him. And then he shut up, and didn't say nothing +fur a hull hour, except oncet he laughed. + +Fur Doctor Kirby, he says, winking at me: "Looey, here, is a nihilist." + +"Is he," says I, "what's that?" And the doctor tells me about how they +blow up dukes and czars and them foreign high-mucky-mucks with dynamite. +Which is when Looey laughed. + +Well, we jogged along at a pretty good gait fur several hours, and we +stayed that night at a Swede's place, which the doctor paid him fur +everything in medicine, only it took a long time to make the bargain, +fur them Swedes is always careful not to get cheated, and hasn't many +diseases. And the next night we showed in a little town, and done right +well, and took in considerable money. We stayed there three days and +bought a tent and a sheet-iron stove and some skillets and things and +some provisions, and a suit of duds for me. + +Well, we went on, and we kept going on, and they was bully times. We'd +ease up careful toward a town, and pick us out a place on the edge, +where the hosses could graze along the side of the road; and most +ginerally by a piece of woods not fur from that town, and nigh a crick, +if we could. Then we'd set up our tent. After we had everything fixed, +I'd put on my Injun clothes and Looey his'n, and we'd drive through the +main store street of the town at a purty good lick, me a-holt of the +reins, and the doctor all togged out in his best clothes, and Looey +doing a Injun dance in the midst of the wagon. I'd pull up the hosses +sudden in front of the post-office or the depot platform or the hotel, +and the people would come crowding around, and the doctor he'd make a +little talk from the wagon, and tell everybody they would be a free show +that night on that corner, and fur everybody to come to it. And then +we'd drive back to camp, lickitysplit. + +Purty soon every boy in town would be out there, kind o' hanging around, +to see what a Injun camp was like. And the farmers that went into and +out of town always stopped and passed the time of day, and the Injun +camp got the hull town all worked up as a usual thing; and the doctor, +he done well, fur when night come every one would be on hand. Looey +and me, every time we went into town, had on our Injun suits, and the +doctor, he wondered why he hadn't never thought up that scheme before. +Sometimes, when they was lots of people ailing in a town, and they +hadn't been no show fur quite a while, we'd stay five or six days, and +make a good clean-up. The doctor, he sent to Chicago several times fur +alcohol in barrels, 'cause he was selling it so fast he had to make new +Sagraw. And he had to get more and more bottles, and a hull satchel full +of new Sagraw labels printed. + +And all the time the doctor was learning me education. And shucks! they +wasn't nothing so hard about it oncet you'd got started in to reading +things. I jest natcherally took to print like a duck to water, and +inside of a month I was reading nigh everything that has ever been +wrote. He had lots of books with him and every time a new sockdologer of +a word come along and I learnt how to spell her and where she orter fit +in to make sense it kind o' tickled me all over. And many's the time +afterward, when me and the doctor had lost track of each other, and they +was quite a spell people got to thinking I was a tramp, I've went into +these here Andrew Carnegie libraries in different towns jest as much to +see if they had anything fitten to read as fur to keep warm. + +Well, we went easing over toward the Indiany line, and we was having a +purty good time. They wasn't no work to do you could call really hard, +and they was plenty of vittles. Afternoons we'd lazy around the camp and +swap stories and make medicine if we needed a batch, and josh back and +forth with the people that hung around, and loaf and doze and smoke; or +mebby do a little fishing if we was nigh a crick. + +And nights after the show was over it was fun, too. We always had a +fire, even if it was a hot night, fur to cook by in the first place, and +fur to keep mosquitoes off, and to make things seem more cheerful. +They ain't nothing so good as hanging round a campfire. And they ain't +nothing any better than sleeping outdoors, neither. You roll up in your +blanket with your feet to the fire and you get to wondering things about +things afore you go to sleep. The silentness jest natcherally swamps +everything after a while, and then all them queer little noises +you never hear in the daytime comes popping and poking through the +silentness, or kind o' scratching their way through it sometimes, and +makes it kind o' feel more silent than ever. And if you are nigh a +crick, purty soon it will sort of get to talking to you, only you can't +make out what it's trying to say, and you get to wondering about that, +too. And if you are in a tent and it rains and the tent don't leak, that +rain is a kind of a nice thing to listen to itself. But if you can see +the stars you get to wondering more'n ever. They come out and they is +so many of them and they are so fur away, and yet they are so kind o' +friendly-like, too, if you happen to be feeling purty good. But if you +ain't feeling purty good, jest lay there and look at them stars long +enough; and then mebby you'll see it don't make no difference whether +you're feeling good or not, fur they got a way o' making your private +troubles look mighty small. And you get to wondering why that is, too, +fur they ain't human; and it don't stand to reason you orter pay no +attention to them, one way nor the other. They is jest there, like trees +and cricks and hills. But I have often noticed that the things that is +jest there has got a way of seeming more friendly than the things that +has been built and put there. You can look at a big iron bridge or a +grain elevator or a canal all day long, and if you're feeling blue it +don't help you none. It was jest put there. Or a hay stack is the same +way. But you go and lazy around in the grass when you're down on your +luck and kind o' make remarks to a crick or a big, old walnut tree, and +before long it gets you to feeling like it didn't make no difference +how you felt, anyhow; fur you don't amount to nothing by the side of +something that was always there. You get to thinking how the hull world +itself was always here, and you sort o' see they ain't nothing important +enough about yourself to worry about, and presently you will go to +sleep and forget it. The doctor says to me one time them stars ain't +any different from this world, and this is one of them. Which is a fool +idea, as any one can see. He had a lot of queer ideas like that, Doctor +Kirby had. But they ain't nothing like sleeping out of doors nights to +make you wonder the kind of wonderings you never will get any answer to. + +Well, I never cared so much fur houses after them days. They was bully +times, them was. And I was kind of proud of being with a show, too. +Many's the time I have went down the street in that there Injun suit, +and seen how the young fellers would of give all they owned to be me. +And every now and then you would hear one say when you went past: + +"Huh, I know him! That's one of them show fellers!" + +One afternoon we pitches our tent right on the edge of a little town +called Athens. We was nigh the bank of a crick, and they was a grove +there. We was camped jest outside of a wood-lot fence, and back in +through the trees from us they was a house with a hedge fence all around +it. They was apple trees and all kind of flower bushes and things inside +of the hedge. The second day we was there I takes a walk back through +the wood-lot, and along past the house, and they was one of these here +early harvest apple trees spilling apples through a gap in the fence. +Them is a mighty sweet and juicy kind of apple, and I picks one up and +bites into it. + +"I think you might have asked for it," says some one. + + + + + +CHAPTER VI + + +I looks up, and that was how I got acquainted with Martha. She was +eating one herself, setting up in the tree like a boy. In her lap was a +book she had been reading. She was leaning back into the fork two limbs +made so as not to tumble. + +"Well," I says, "can I have one?" + +"You've eaten it already," she says, "so there isn't any use begging for +it now." + +I seen she was a tease, that girl, and I would of give anything to of +been able to tease her right back agin. But I couldn't think of nothing +to say, so I jest stands there kind o' dumb like, thinking what a dern +purty girl she was, and thinking how dumb I must look, and I felt my +face getting red. Doctor Kirby would of thought of something to say +right off. And after I got back to camp I would think of something +myself. But I couldn't think of nothing bright, so I says: + +"Well, then, you give me another one!" + +She gives the core of the one she has been eating a toss at me. But I +ketched it, and made like I was going to throw it back at her real hard. +She slung up her arm, and dodged back, and she dropped her book. + +I thinks to myself I'll learn that girl to get sassy and make me feel +like a dumb-head, even if she is purty. So I don't say a word. I jest +picks up that book and sticks it under my arm and walks away slow with +it to where they was a stump a little ways off, not fur from the crick, +and sets down with my back to her and opens it. And I was trying all the +time to think of something smart to say to her. But I couldn't of done +it if I was to be shot. Still, I thinks to myself, no girl can sass me +and not get sassed back, neither. + +I hearn a scramble behind me which I knowed was her getting out of that +tree. And in a minute she was in front of me, mad. + +"Give me my book," she says. + +But I only reads the name of the book out loud, fur to aggervate her. I +had on purty good duds, but I kind of wisht I had on my Injun rig then. +You take the girls that always comes down to see the passenger train +come into the depot in them country towns and that Injun rig of mine and +Looey's always made 'em turn around and look at us agin. I never wisht +I had on them Injun duds so hard before in my life. But I couldn't think +of nothing bright to say, so I jest reads the name of that book over to +myself agin, kind o' grinning like I got a good joke I ain't going to +tell any one. + +"You give me my book," she says agin, red as one of them harvest apples, +"or I'll tell Miss Hampton you stole it and she'll have you and your +show arrested." + +I reads the name agin. It was "The Lost Heir." I seen I had her good and +teased now, so I says: "It must be one of these here love stories by the +way you take on over it." + +"It's not," she says, getting ready to cry. "And what right have you got +in our wood-lot, anyhow?" + +"Well," I says, "I was jest about to move on and climb out of it when +you hollered to me from that tree." + +"I didn't!" she says. But she was mad because she knowed she HAD spoke +to me first, and she was awful sorry she had. + +"I thought I hearn you holler," I says, "but I guess it must of been a +squirrel." I said it kind o' sarcastic like, fur I was still mad with +myself fur being so dumb when we first seen each other. I hadn't no idea +it would hurt her feelings as hard as it did. But all of a sudden she +begins to wink, and her chin trembled, and she turned around short, and +started to walk off slow. She was mad with herself fur being ketched in +a lie, and she was wondering what I would think of her fur being so bold +as to of spoke first to a feller she didn't know. + +I got up and follered her a little piece. And it come to me all to oncet +I had teased her too hard, and I was down on myself fur it. + +"Say," I says, kind of tagging along beside of her, "here's your old +book." + +But she didn't make no move to take it, and her hands was over her face, +and she wouldn't pull 'em down to even look at it. + +So I tried agin. + +"Well," I says, feeling real mean, "I wisht you wouldn't cry. I didn't +go to make you do that." + +She drops her hands and whirls around on me, mad as a wet hen right off. + +"I'm not! I'm not!" she sings out, and stamps her feet. "I'm not +crying!" But jest then she loses her holt on herself and busts out and +jest natcherally bellers. "I hate you!" she says, like she could of +killed me. + +That made me kind of dumb agin. Fur it come to me all to oncet I liked +that girl awful well. And here I'd up and made her hate me. I held the +book out to her agin and says: + +"Well, I'm mighty sorry fur that, fur I don't feel that-a-way about you +a-tall. Here's your book." + +Well, sir, she snatches that book and she gives it a sling. I thought it +was going kersplash into the crick. But it didn't. It hit right into the +fork of a limb that hung down over the crick, and it all spread out when +it lit, and stuck in that crotch somehow. She couldn't of slung it that +way on purpose in a million years. We both stands and looks at it a +minute. + +"Oh, oh!" she says, "what have I done? It's out of the town library and +I'll have to pay for it." + +"I'll get it fur you," I says. But it wasn't no easy job. If I shook +that limb it would tumble into the crick. But I clumb the tree and eased +out on that limb as fur as I dast to. And, of course, jest as I got holt +of the book, that limb broke and I fell into the crick. But I had the +book. It was some soaked, but I reckoned it could still be read. + +I clumb out and she was jest splitting herself laughing at me. The +wet on her face where she had cried wasn't dried up yet, and she was +laughing right through it, kind o' like the sun does to one of these +here May rainstorms sometimes, and she was the purtiest girl I ever +seen. Gosh!--how I was getting to like that girl! And she told me I +looked like a drowned rat. + +Well, that was how Martha and me was interduced. She wasn't more'n +sixteen, and when she found out I was a orphan she was glad, fur she was +one herself. Which Miss Hampton that lived in that house had took her to +raise. And when I tells her how I been travelling around the country all +summer she claps her hands and she says: + +"Oh, you are on a quest! How romantic!" + +I asts her what is a quest. And she tells me. She knowed all about them, +fur Martha was considerable of a reader. Some of them was longer and +some of them was shorter, them quests, but mostly, Martha says, they was +fur a twelvemonth and a day. And then you are released from your vow +and one of these here queens gives you a whack over the shoulder with a +sword and says: "Arise, Sir Marmeluke, I dub you a night." And then it +is legal fur you to go out and rescue people and reform them and spear +them if they don't see things your way, and come between husband and +wife when they row, and do a heap of good in the world. Well, they was +other kind of quests too, but mostly you married somebody, or was dubbed +a night, or found the party you was looking fur, in the end. And Martha +had it all fixed up in her own mind I was in a quest to find my father. +Fur, says she, he is purty certain to be a powerful rich man and more'n +likely a earl. + +The way I was found, Martha says, kind o' pints to the idea they was a +earl mixed up in it somewhere. She had read a lot about earls, and knew +their ways. Mebby my mother was a earl's daughter. Earl's daughters is +the worst fur leaving you out in baskets, going by what Martha said. It +is a kind of a habit with them, fur they is awful proud people. But it +was a lucky way to start life, from all she said, that basket way. There +was Moses was left out that way, and when he growed up he was made a +kind of a president of the hull human race, the same as Ruzevelt, and +figgered out the twelve commandments. Martha would of give anything if +she could of only been found in a basket like me, I could see that. But +she wasn't. She had jest been left a orphan when her folks died. They +wasn't even no hopes she had been changed at birth fur another one. But +I seen down in under everything Martha kind o' thought mebby one of them +nights might come a-prancing along and wed her in spite of herself, or +she would be carried off, or something. She was a very romanceful kind +of girl. + +When I seen she had it figgered out I was in a quest fur some +high-mucky-muck fur a dad, I didn't tell her no different. I didn't take +much stock in them earls and nights myself. So fur as I could see they +was all furriners of one kind or another. But that thing of being into a +quest kind of interested me, too. + +"How would I know him if I was to run acrost him?" I asts her. + +"You would feel an Intangible Something," she says, "drawing you toward +him." + +I asts her what kind of a something. I make out from what she says it is +some like these fellers that can find water with a piece of witch hazel +switch. You take a switch of it between your thumbs and point it up. +Then you shut your eyes and walk backwards. When you get over where the +water is the witch hazel stick twists around and points to the ground. +You dig there and you get a good well. Nobody knows jest why that +stick is drawed to the ground. It is like one of these little whirlygig +compasses is drawed to the north. It is the same, Martha says, if you is +on a quest fur a father or a mother, only you have got to be worthy of +that there quest, she says. The first time you meet the right one you +are drawed jest like the witch hazel. That is the Intangible Something +working on you, she says. Martha had learnt a lot about that. The book +that had fell in the crick was like that. She lent it to me. + +Well, that all sounded kind of reasonable to me. I seen that witch hazel +work myself. Old Blindy Wolfe, whose eyes had been dead fur so many +years they had turned plumb white, had that gift, and picked out all the +places fur wells that was dug in our neighbourhood at home. And I makes +up my mind I will watch out fur that feeling of being drawed wherever I +goes after this. You can't tell what will come of them kind of things. +So purty soon Martha has to milk the cow, and I goes along back to camp +thinking about that quest and about what a purty girl she is, which we +had set there talking so long it was nigh sundown and my clothes had +dried onto me. + +When I got over to camp I seen they must be something wrong. Looey was +setting in the grass under the wagon looking kind of sour and kind of +worried and watching the doctor. The doctor was jest inside the tent, +and he was looking queer too, and not cheerful, which he was usually. + +The doctor looks at me like he don't skeercly know me. Which he don't. +He has one of them quiet kind of drunks on. Which Looey explains is +bound to come every so often. He don't do nothing mean, but jest gets +low-sperrited and won't talk to no one. Then all of a sudden he will go +down town and walk up and down the main streets, orderly, but looking +hard into people's faces, mostly women's faces. Oncet, Looey says, they +was big trouble over it. They was in a store in a good-sized town, and +he took hold of a woman's chin, and tilted her face back, and looked at +her hard, and most scared her to death, and they was nearly being a riot +there. And he was jailed and had to pay a big fine. Since then Looey +always follers him around when he is that-a-way. + +Well, that night Doctor Kirby is too fur gone fur us to have our show. +He jest sets and stares and stares at the fire, and his eyes looks like +they is another fire inside of his head, and he is hurting outside and +in. Looey and me watches him from the shadders fur a long time before +we turns in, and the last thing I seen before I went to sleep was him +setting there with his face in his hands, staring, and his lips moving +now and then like he was talking to himself. + +The next day he is asleep all morning. But that day he don't drink +any more, and Looey says mebby it ain't going to be one of the reg'lar +pifflicated kind. I seen Martha agin that day, too--twicet I has talks +with her. I told her about the doctor. + +"Is he into a quest, do you think?" I asts her. + +She says she thinks it is remorse fur some crime he has done. But I +couldn't figger Doctor Kirby would of done none. So that night after the +show I says to him, innocent-like: + +"Doctor Kirby, what is a quest?" He looks at me kind of queer. + +"Wherefore," says he, "this sudden thirst for enlightenment?" + +"I jest run acrost the word accidental-like," I told him. + +He looks at me awful hard, his eyes jest natcherally digging into me. +I felt like he knowed I had set out to pump him. I wisht I hadn't tried +it. Then he tells me a quest is a hunt. And I'm glad that's over with. +But it ain't. Fur purty soon he says: + +"Danny, did you ever hear of Lady Clara Vere de Vere?" + +"No," I says, "who is she?" + +"A lady friend of Lord Tennyson's," he says, "whose manners were above +reproach." + +"Well," I says, "she sounds kind of like a medicine to me." + +"Lady Clara," he says, "and all the other Vere de Veres, were people +with manners we should try to imitate. If Lady Clara had been here last +night when I was talking to myself, Danny, her manners wouldn't have let +her listen to what I was talking about." + +"I didn't listen!" I says. Fur I seen what he was driving at now with +them Vere de Veres. He thought I had ast him what a quest was because he +was on one. I was certain of that, now. He wasn't quite sure what he had +been talking about, and he wanted to see how much I had hearn. I thinks +to myself it must be a awful funny kind of hunt he is on, if he only +hunts when he is in that fix. But I acted real innocent and like my +feelings was hurt, and he believed me. Purty soon he says, cheerful +like: + +"There was a girl talking to you to-day, Danny." + +"Mebby they was," I says, "and mebby they wasn't." But I felt my face +getting red all the same, and was mad because it did. He grinned kind of +aggervating at me and says some poetry at me about in the spring a young +man's frenzy likely turns to thoughts of love. + +"Well," I says, kind of sheepish-like, "this is summer-time, and purty +nigh autumn." Then I seen I'd jest as good as owned up I liked Martha, +and was kind of mad at myself fur that. But I told him some more about +her, too. Somehow I jest couldn't help it. He laughs at me and goes on +into the tent. + +I laid there and looked at the fire fur quite a spell, outside the tent. +I was thinking, if all them tales wasn't jest dern foolishness, how I +wisht I would really find a dad that was a high-muckymuck and could come +back in an automobile and take her away. I laid there fur a long, long +time; it must of been fur a couple of hours. I supposed the doctor had +went to sleep. + +But all of a sudden I looks up, and he is in the door of the tent +staring at me. I seen he had been in there at it hard agin, and +thinking, quiet-like, all this time. He stood there in the doorway of +the tent, with the firelight onto his face and his red beard, and his +arms stretched out, holding to the canvas and looking at me strange and +wild. Then he moved his hand up and down at me, and he says: + +"If she's fool enough to love you, treat her well--treat her well. For +if you don't, you can never run away from the hell you'll carry in your +own heart." + +And he kind of doubled up and pitched forward when he said that, and +if I hadn't ketched him he would of fell right acrost the fire. He was +plumb pifflicated. + + + + + +CHAPTER VII + + +Martha wouldn't of took anything fur being around Miss Hampton, she +said. Miss Hampton was kind of quiet and sweet and pale looking, and +nobody ever thought of talking loud or raising any fuss when she was +around. She had enough money of her own to run herself on, and she kep' +to herself a good deal. She had come to that town from no one knowed +where, years ago, and bought that place. Fur all of her being so gentle +and easy and talking with one of them soft, drawly kind of voices, +Martha says, no one had ever dared to ast her about herself, though they +was a lot of women in that town that was wishful to. + +But Martha said she knowed what Miss Hampton's secret was, and she +hadn't told no one, neither. Which she told me, and all the promising I +done about not telling would of made the cold chills run up your back, +it was so solemn. Miss Hampton had been jilted years ago, Martha said, +and the name of the jilter was David Armstrong. Well, he must of been +a low down sort of man. Martha said if things was only fixed in this +country like they ought to be, she would of sent a night to find that +David Armstrong. And that would of ended up in a mortal combat, and the +night would have cleaved him. + +"Yes," says I, "and then you would of married that there night, I +suppose." + +She says she would of. + +"Well," says I, "mebby you would of and mebby you wouldn't of. If he +cleaved David Armstrong, that night would likely be arrested fur it." + +Martha says if he was she would wait outside his dungeon keep fur years +and years, till she was a old woman with gray in her hair, and every day +they would give lingering looks at each other through the window bars. +And they would be happy thata-way. And she would get her a white dove +and train it so it would fly up to that window and take in notes to him, +and he would send notes back that-away, and they would both be awful sad +and romanceful and contented doing that-a-way fur ever and ever. + +Well, I never took no stock in them mournful ways of being happy. I +couldn't of riz up to being a night fur Martha. She expected too much of +one. I thought it over fur a little spell without saying anything, and +I tried to make myself believe I would of liked all that dove business. +But it wasn't no use pertending. I knowed I would get tired of it. + +"Martha," I says, "mebby these here nights is all right, and mebby they +ain't. I never seen one, and I don't know. And, mind you, I ain't saying +a word agin their way of acting. I can't say how I would of been myself, +if I had been brung up like them. But it looks to me, from some of the +things you've said about 'em, they must have a dern fool streak in 'em +somewheres." + +I was kind of jealous of them nights, I guess, or I wouldn't of run 'em +down that-a-way behind their backs. But the way she was always taking on +over them was calkelated to make me see I wasn't knee-high to a duck in +Martha's mind when one of them nights popped into her head. When I run +'em down that-a-way, she says to the blind all things is blind, and if I +had any chivalry into me myself I'd of seen they wasn't jest dern fools, +but noble, and seen it easy. And she sighed, like she'd looked fur +better things from me. When I hearn her do that I felt sorry I hadn't +come up to her expectances. So I says: + +"Martha, it's no use pertending I could stay in one of them jails and +keep happy at it. I got to be outdoors. But I tell you what I can do, +if it will make you feel any better. If I ever happen to run acrost this +here David Armstrong, and he is anywheres near my size, I'll lick him +fur you. And if he's too hefty fur me to lick him fair," I says, "and +I get a good chancet I will hit him with a piece of railroad iron fur +you." + +Of course, I knowed I would never find him. But what I said seemed to +brighten her up a little. + +"But," says I, "if I went too fur with it, and was hung fur it, how +would you feel then, Martha?" + +Well, sir, that didn't jar Martha none. She looked kind of dreamy and +said mebby she would go and jine a convent and be a nun. And when she +got to be the head nun she would build a chapel over the tomb where I +was buried in. And every year, on the day of the month I was hung on, +she would lead all the other nuns into that chapel, and the organ would +play mournful, and each nun as passed would lay down a bunch of white +roses onto my tomb. I reckon that orter made me feel good, but somehow +it didn't. + +So I changed the subject, and asts her why I ain't seen Miss Hampton +around the place none. Martha says she has a bad sick headache and ain't +been outside the house fur four or five days. I asts her why she don't +wait on her. But she don't want her to, Martha says. She's been staying +in the house ever since we been in town, and jest wants to be let alone. +I thinks all that is kind of funny. And then I seen from the way Martha +is answering my questions that she is holding back something she would +like to tell, but don't think she orter tell. I leaves her alone and +purty soon she says: + +"Do you believe in ghosts?" + +I tell her sometimes I think I don't believe in 'em, and sometimes I +think I do, but anyhow I would hate to see one. I asts her why does she +ast. + +"Because," she says, "because--but I hadn't ought to tell you." + +"It's daylight," I says; "it's no use being scared to tell now." + +"It ain't that," she says, "but it's a secret." + +When she said it was a secret, I knowed she would tell. Martha liked +having her friends help her to keep a secret. + +"I think Miss Hampton has seen one," she says, finally, "and that her +staying indoors has something to do with that." + +Then she tells me. The night of the day after we camped there, her and +Miss Hampton was out fur a walk. We didn't have any show that night. +They passed right by our camp, and they seen us there by the fire, all +three of us. But they was in the road in the dark, and we was all in the +light, so none of the three of us seen them. Miss Hampton was kind of +scared of us, first glance, fur she gasped and grabbed holt of Martha's +arm all of a sudden so tight she pinched it. Which it was very natcheral +that she would be startled, coming across three strange men all of a +sudden at night around a turn in the road. They went along home, and +Martha went inside and lighted a lamp, but Miss Hampton lingered on the +porch fur a minute. Jest as she lit the lamp Martha hearn another little +gasp, or kind of sigh, from Miss Hampton out there on the porch. Then +they was the sound of her falling down. Martha ran out with the lamp, +and she was laying there. She had fainted and keeled over. Martha said +jest in the minute she had left her alone on the porch was when Miss +Hampton must of seen the ghost. Martha brung her to, and she was looking +puzzled and wild-like both to oncet. Martha asts her what is the matter. + +"Nothing," she says, rubbing her fingers over her forehead in a helpless +kind of way, "nothing." + +"You look like you had seen a ghost," Martha tells her. + +Miss Hampton looks at Martha awful funny, and then she says mebby she +HAS seen a ghost, and goes along upstairs to bed. And since then she +ain't been out of the house. She tells Martha it is a sick headache, but +Martha says she knows it ain't. She thinks she is scared of something. + +"Scared?" I says. "She wouldn't see no more ghosts in the daytime." + +Martha says how do I know she wouldn't? She knows a lot about ghosts of +all kinds, Martha does. + +Horses and dogs can see them easier than humans, even in the daytime, +and it makes their hair stand up when they do. But some humans that have +the gift can see them in the daytime like an animal. And Martha asts me +how can I tell but Miss Hampton is like that? + +"Well, then," I says, "she must be a witch. And if she is a witch why is +she scared of them a-tall?" + +But Martha says if you have second sight you don't need to be a witch to +see them in the daytime. + +Well, you can never tell about them ghosts. Some says one thing and some +says another. Old Mis' Primrose, in our town, she always believed in 'em +firm till her husband died. When he was dying they fixed it up he was +to come back and visit her. She told him he had to, and he promised. And +she left the front door open fur him night after night fur nigh a year, +in all kinds of weather; but Primrose never come. Mis' Primrose says he +never lied to her, and he always done jest as she told him, and if he +could of come she knowed he would; and when he didn't she quit believing +in ghosts. But they was others in our town said it didn't prove nothing +at all. They said Primrose had really been lying to her all his life, +because she was so bossy he had to lie to keep peace in the fambly, +and she never ketched on. Well, if I was a ghost and had of been Mis' +Primrose's husband when I was a human, I wouldn't of come back neither, +even if she had of bully-ragged me into one of them death-bed promises. +I guess Primrose figgered he had earnt a rest. + +If they is ghosts, what comfort they can get out of coming back where +they ain't wanted and scaring folks is more'n I can see. It's kind of +low down, I think, and foolish too. Them kind of ghosts is like these +here overgrown smart alecs that scares kids. They think they are mighty +cute, but they ain't. They are jest foolish. A human, or a ghost either, +that does things like that is jest simply got no principle to him. I +hearn a lot of talk about 'em, first and last, and I ain't ready to say +they ain't no ghosts, nor yet ready to say they is any. To say they is +any is to say something that is too plumb unlikely. And too many people +has saw them fur me to say they ain't any. But if they is, or they +ain't, so fur as I can see, it don't make much difference. Fur they +never do nothing, besides scaring you, except to rap on tables and tell +fortunes, and such fool things. Which a human can do it all better and +save the expense of paying money to one of these here sperrit mediums +that travels around and makes 'em perform. But all the same they has +been nights I has felt different about 'em myself, and less hasty to run +'em down. Well, it don't do no good to speak harsh of no one, not even a +ghost or a ordinary dead man, and if I was to see a ghost, mebby I would +be all the scareder fur what I have jest wrote. + +Well, with all the talking back and forth we done about them ghosts we +couldn't agree. That afternoon it seemed like we couldn't agree about +anything. I knowed we would be going away from there before long, and I +says to myself before I go I'm going to have that girl fur my girl, or +else know the reason why. No matter what I was talking about, that idea +was in the back of my head, and somehow it kind of made me want to +pick fusses with her, too. We was setting on a log, purty deep into the +woods, and there come a time when neither of us had said nothing fur +quite a spell. But after a while I says: + +"Martha, we'll be going away from here in two, three days now." + +She never said nothing. + +"Will you be sorry?" I asts her. + +She says she will be sorry. + +"Well," I says, "WHY will you be sorry?" + +I thought she would say because _I_ was going. And then I would be +finding out whether she liked me a lot. But she says the reason she will +be sorry is because there will be no one new to talk to about things +both has read. I was considerable took down when she said that. + +"Martha," I says, "it's more'n likely I won't never see you agin after I +go away." + +She says that kind of parting comes between the best of friends. + +I seen I wasn't getting along very fast, nor saying what I wanted to +say. I reckon one of them Sir Marmeluke fellers would of knowed what to +say. Or Doctor Kirby would. Or mebby even Looey would of said it better +than I could. So I was kind of mad with myself, and I says, mean-like: + +"If you don't care, of course, I don't care, neither." + +She never answered that, so I gets up and makes like I am starting off. + +"I was going to give you some of them there Injun feathers of mine to +remember me by," I tells her, "but if you don't want 'em, there's plenty +of others would be glad to take 'em." + +But she says she would like to have them. + +"Well," I says, "I will bring them to you tomorrow afternoon." + +She says, "Thank you." + +Finally I couldn't stand it no longer. I got brave all of a sudden, and +busted out: "Martha, I--I--I--" + +But I got to stuttering, and my braveness stuttered itself away. And I +finishes up by saying: + +"I like you a hull lot, Martha." Which wasn't jest exactly what I had +planned fur to say. + +Martha, she says she kind of likes me, too. + +"Martha," I says, "I like you more'n any girl I ever run acrost before." + +She says, "Thank you," agin. The way she said it riled me up. She said +it like she didn't know what I meant, nor what I was trying to get out +of me. But she did know all the time. I knowed she did. She knowed I +knowed it, too. Gosh-dern it, I says to myself, here I am wasting all +this time jest TALKING to her. The right thing to do come to me all of +a sudden, and like to took my breath away. But I done it. I grabbed her +and I kissed her. + +Twice. And then agin. Because the first was on the chin on account of +her jerking her head back. And the second one she didn't help me none. +But the third time she helped me a little. And the ones after that she +helped me considerable. + +Well, they ain't no use trying to talk about the rest of that afternoon. +I couldn't rightly describe it if I wanted to. And I reckon it's none of +anybody's business. + +Well, it makes you feel kind of funny. You want to go out and pick on +somebody about four sizes bigger'n you are and knock the socks off'n +him. It stands to reason others has felt that-a-way, but you don't +believe it. You want to tell people about it one minute. The next minute +you have got chills and ague fur fear some one will guess it. And you +think the way you are about her is going to last fur always. + +That evening, when I was cooking supper, I laughed every time I was +spoke to. When Looey and I was hitching up to drive down town to give +the show, one of the hosses stepped on his foot and I laughed at that, +and there was purty nigh a fight. And I was handling some bottles and +broke one and cut my hand on a piece of glass. I held it out fur a +minute dumb-like, with the blood and medicine dripping off of it, and +all of a sudden I busted out laughing agin. The doctor asts if I am +crazy. And Looey says he has thought I was from the very first, and some +night him and the doctor will be killed whilst asleep. One of the things +we have every night in the show is an Injun dance, and Looey and I sings +what the doctor calls the Siwash war chant, whirling round and round +each other, and making licks at each other with our tommyhawks, and +letting out sudden wild yips in the midst of that chant. That night I +like to of killed Looey with that tommyhawk, I was feeling so good. If +it had been a real one, instead of painted-up wood, I would of killed +Looey, the lick I give him. The worst part of that was that, after the +show, when we got back to camp and the hosses was picketed out fur the +night, I had to tell Looey all about how I felt fur an explanation of +why I hit him. + +Which it made Looey right low in his sperrits, and he shakes his head +and says no good will come of it. + +"Did you ever hear of Romeo and Joliet?" he says: + +"Mebby," I says, "but what it was I hearn I can't remember. What about +them?" + +"Well," he says, "they carried on the same as you. And now where are +they?" + +"Well," I says, "where are they?" + +"In the tomb," says Looey, very sad, like they was closte personal +friends of his'n. And he told me all about them and how Young Cobalt had +done fur them. But from what I could make out it all happened away back +in the early days. And shucks!--I didn't care a dern, anyhow. I told him +so. + +"Well," he says, "It's been the history of the world that it brings +trouble." And he says to look at Damon and Pythias, and Othello and the +Merchant of Venus. And he named about a hundred prominent couples like +that out of Shakespeare's works. + +"But it ends happy sometimes," I says. + +"Not when it is true love it don't," says Looey. "Look at Anthony and +Cleopatra." + +"Yes," I says, sarcastic like, "I suppose they are in the tomb, too?" + +"They are," says Looey, awful solemn. + +"Yes," I says, "and so is Adam and Eve and Dan and Burrsheba and all +the rest of them old-timers. But I bet they had a good time while they +lasted." + +Looey shakes his head solemn and sighs and goes to sleep very mournful, +like he has to give me up fur lost. But I can't sleep none myself. +So purty soon I gets up and puts on my shoes and sneaks through the +wood-lot and through the gap in the fence by the apple tree and into +Miss Hampton's yard. + +It was a beauty of a moonlight night, that white and clear and clean you +could almost see to read by it, like all of everything had been scoured +as bright as the bottom of a tin pan. And the shadders was soft and +thick and velvety and laid kind of brownish-greeney on the grass. I +flopped down in the shadder of some lilac bushes and wondered which was +Martha's window. I knowed she would be in bed long ago, but---- Well, I +was jest plumb foolish that night, and I couldn't of kept away fur any +money. That moonlight had got into my head, it seemed like, and made +me drunk. But I would rather be looney that-a-way than to have as much +sense as King Solomon and all his adverbs. I was that looney that if I +had knowed any poetry I would of said it out loud, right up toward that +window. I never knowed why poetry was made up before that night. But the +only poetry I could think of was about there was a man named Furgeson +that lived on Market Street, and he had a one-eyed Thomas cat that +couldn't well be beat. Which it didn't seem to fit the case, so I didn't +say her. + +The porch of that house was part covered with vines, but they was kind +of gaped apart at one corner. As I laid there in the shadder of the +bushes I hearn a fluttering movement, light and gentle, on that porch. +Then, all of a sudden, I seen some one standing on the edge of the porch +where the vines was gaped apart, and the moonlight was falling onto +them. They must of come there awful soft and still. Whoever it was +couldn't see into the shadder where I laid, that is, if it was a human +and not a ghost. Fur my first thought was it might be one of them ghosts +I had been running down so that very day, and mebby the same one Miss +Hampton seen on that very same porch. I thought I was in fur it then, +mebby, and I felt like some one had whispered to the back of my neck +it ought to be scared. And I WAS scared clean up into my hair. I stared +hard, fur I couldn't take my eyes away. Then purty soon I seen if it was +a ghost it must be a woman ghost. Fur it was dressed in light-coloured +clothes that moved jest a little in the breeze, and the clothes was so +near the colour of the moonlight they seemed to kind of silver into +it. You would of said it had jest floated there, and was waiting fur to +float away agin when the breeze blowed a little stronger, or the moon +drawed it. + +It didn't move fur ever so long. Then it leaned forward through the gap +in the vines, and I seen the face real plain. It wasn't no ghost, it was +a lady. Then I knowed it must be Miss Hampton standing there. Away off +through the trees our camp fire sent up jest a dull kind of a glow. She +was standing there looking at that. I wondered why. + + + + + +CHAPTER VIII + + +The next day we broke camp and was gone from that place, and I took away +with me the half of a ring me and Martha had chopped in two. We kept on +going, and by the time punkins and county fairs was getting ripe we was +into the upper left-hand corner of Ohio. And there Looey left us. + +One day Doctor Kirby and me was walking along the main street of a +little town and we seen a bang-up funeral percession coming. It must of +been one of the Grand Army of the Republicans, fur they was some of the +old soldiers in buggies riding along behind, and a big string of people +follering in more buggies and some on foot. Everybody was looking mighty +sollum. But they was one man setting beside the undertaker on the seat +of the hearse that was looking sollumer than them all. It was Looey, and +I'll bet the corpse himself would of felt proud and happy and contented +if he could of knowed the style Looey was giving that funeral. + +It wasn't nothing Looey done, fur he didn't do nothing but jest set +there with his arms folded onto his bosom and look sad. But he done THAT +better than any one else. He done it so well that you forgot the corpse +was the chief party to that funeral. Looey took all the glory from him. +He had jest natcherally stole that funeral away from its rightful owner +with his enjoyment of it. He seen the doctor and me as the hearse went +by our corner, but he never let on. A couple of hours later Looey comes +into camp and says he is going to quit. + +The doctor asts him if he has inherited money. + +"No," says Looey, "but my aunt has given me a chancet to go into +business." + +Looey says he was born nigh there, and was prowling around town the day +before and run acrost an old aunt of his'n he had forgot all about. +She is awful respectable and religious and ashamed of him being into +a travelling show. And she has offered to lend him enough to buy a +half-share in a business. + +"Well," says the doctor, "I hope it will be something you are fitted +for and will enjoy. But I've noticed that after a man gets the habit of +roaming around this terrestial ball it's mighty hard to settle down and +watch his vine and fig tree grow." + +Looey smiles in a sad sort of a way, which he seldom smiled fur +anything, and says he guesses he'll like the business. He says they +ain't many businesses he could take to. Most of them makes you forget +this world is but a fleeting show. But he has found a business which +keeps you reminded all the time that dust is dust and ash to ashes shalt +return. When he first went into the medicine business, he said, he was +drawed to it by the diseases and the sudden dyings-off it always kept +him in mind of. He thought they wasn't no other business could lay over +it fur that kind of comfort. But he has found out his mistake. + +"What kind of business are you going into?" asts the doctor. + +"I am going to be an undertaker," says Looey. "My aunt says this town +needs the right kind of an undertaker bad." + +Mr. Wilcox, the undertaker that town has, is getting purty old and +shaky, Looey says, and young Mr. Wilcox, his son, is too light-minded +and goes at things too brisk and airy to give it the right kind of a +send-off. People don't want him joking around their corpses and he is +a fat young man and can't help making puns even in the presence of the +departed. Old Mr. Wilcox's eyesight is getting so poor he made a scandal +in that town only the week before. He was composing a departed's face +into a last smile, but he went too fur with it, and give the departed +one of them awful mean, devilish kind of grins, like he had died with +a bad temper on. By the time the departed's fambly had found it out, +things had went too fur, and the face had set that-a-way, so it wasn't +safe to try to change it any. + +Old Mr. Wilcox had several brands of last looks. One was called: +"Bear Up, for We Will Meet Again." The one that had went wrong was his +favourite look, named: "O Death, Where is Thy Victory?" + +Looey's aunt says she will buy him a partnership if she is satisfied he +can fill the town's needs. They have a talk with the Wilcoxes, and he +rides on the hearse that day fur a try-out. His aunt peeks out behind +her bedroom curtains as the percession goes by her house, and when she +sees the style Looey is giving to that funeral, and how easy it comes +to him, that settles it with her on the spot. And it seems the hull dern +town liked it, too, including the departed's fambly. + +Looey says they is a lot of chancet fur improvements in the undertaking +game by one whose heart is in his work, and he is going into that +business to make a success of it, and try and get all the funeral trade +fur miles around. He reads us an advertisement of the new firm he has +been figgering out fur that town's weekly paper. I cut a copy out when +it was printed, and it is about the genteelest thing like that I even +seen, as follers: + + +WILCOX AND SIMMS Invite Your Patronage + +This earth is but a fleeting show, and the blank-winged angels wait for +all. It is always a satisfaction to remember that all possible has been +done for the deceased. + + See Our New Line of Coffins + Lined Caskets a Specialty + Lodge Work Solicited + +Time and tide wait for no man, and his days are few and full of +troubles. The paths of glory lead but to the grave, and none can tell +when mortal feet may stumble. + +When in Town Drop in and Inspect Our New Embalming Outfit. It is a +Pleasure to Show Goods and Tools Even if Your Family Needs no Work Done +Just Yet + +Outfits for mourners who have been bereaved on short notice a specialty. +We take orders for tombstones. Look at our line of shrouds, robes, and +black suits for either sex and any age. Give us just one call, and you +will entrust future embalmings and obsequies in your family to no other +firm. + +WILCOX AND SIMMS Main Street, Near Depot + + +The doctor, he reads it over careful and says she orter drum up trade, +all right. Looey tells us that mebby, if he can get that town educated +up to it, he will put in a creamatory, where he will burn them, too, but +will go slow, fur that there sollum and beautiful way of returning ash +to ashes might make some prejudice in such a religious town. + +The last we seen of Looey was a couple of days later when we told him +good-bye in his shop. Old Mr. Wilcox was explaining to him the science +of them last looks he was so famous at when he was a younger man. Young +Mr. Wilcox was laying on a table fur Looey to practise on, and Looey was +learning fast. But he nearly broke down when he said good-bye, fur he +liked the doctor. + +"Doc," he says, "you've been a good friend, and I won't never forget +you. They ain't much I can do, and in this deceitful world words is less +than actions. But if you ever was to die within a hundred miles of me, +I'd go," he says, "and no other hands but mine should lay you out. And +it wouldn't cost you a cent, either. Nor you neither, Danny." + +We thanked him kindly fur the offer, and went. + +The next town we come to there was a county fair, and the doctor run +acrost an old pal of his'n who had a show on the grounds and wanted to +hire him fur what he called a ballyhoo man. Which was the first I ever +hearn them called that, but I got better acquainted with them since. +They are the fellers that stands out in front and gets you all excited +about the Siamese twins or the bearded lady or the snake-charmer or the +Circassian beauties or whatever it is inside the tent, as represented +upon the canvas. The doctor says he will do it fur a week, jest fur fun, +and mebby pick up another feller to take Looey's place out there. + +This feller's name is Watty Sanders, and his wife is a fat lady in his +own show and very good-natured when not intoxicated nor mad at Watty. She +was billed on the curtains outside fur five hundred and fifty pounds, +and Watty says she really does weigh nigh on to four hundred. But being +a fat lady's husband ain't no bed of rosy ease at that, Watty tells +the doctor. It's like every other trade--it has its own pertic'ler +responsibilities and troubles. She is a turrible expense to Watty on +account of eating so much. The tales that feller told of how hard he +has to hustle showing her off in order to support her appetite would of +drawed tears from a pawnbroker's sign, as Doctor Kirby says. Which he +found it cheaper fur his hull show to board and sleep in the tent, and +we done likewise. + +Well, I got a job with that show myself. Watty had a wild man canvas +but no wild man, so he made me an offer and I took him up. I was from +Borneo, where they're all supposed to be captured. Jest as Doctor Kirby +would get to his talk about how the wild man had been ketched after +great struggle and expense, with four men killed and another crippled, +there would be an awful rumpus on the inside of the tent, with wild +howlings and the sound of revolvers shot off and a woman screaming. Then +I would come busting out all blacked up from head to heel with no more +clothes on than the law pervided fur, yipping loud and shaking a big +spear and rolling my eyes, and Watty would come rushing after me firing +his revolver. I would make fur the doctor and draw my spear back to jab +it clean through him, and Watty would grab my arm. And the doctor would +whirl round and they would wrastle me to the ground and I would be +handcuffed and dragged back into the tent, still howling and struggling +to break loose. On the inside my part of the show was to be wild in a +cage. I would be chained to the floor, and every now and then I would +get wilder and rattle my chains and shake the bars and make jumps at the +crowd and carry on, and make believe I was too mad to eat the pieces of +raw meat Watty throwed into the cage. + +Watty had a snake-charmer woman, with an awful long, bony kind of neck, +working fur him, and another feller that was her husband and eat glass. +The show opened up with them two doing what they said was a comic turn. +Then the fat lady come on. Whilst everybody was admiring her size, and +looking at the number of pounds on them big cheat scales Watty weighed +her on, the long-necked one would be changing to her snake clothes. +Which she only had one snake, and he had been in the business so long, +and was so kind of worn out and tired with being charmed so much, it +always seemed like a pity to me the way she would take and twist him +around. I guess they never was a snake was worked harder fur the little +bit he got to eat, nor got no sicker of a woman's society than poor old +Reginald did. After Reginald had been charmed a while, it would be the +glass eater's turn. Which he really eat it, and the doctor says that +kind always dies before they is fifty. I never knowed his right name, +but what he went by was The Human Ostrich. + +Watty's wife was awful jealous of Mrs. Ostrich, fur she got the idea +she was carrying on with Watty. One night I hearn an argument from the +fenced-off part of the tent Watty and his wife slept in. She was setting +on Watty's chest and he was gasping fur mercy. + +"You know it ain't true," says Watty, kind of smothered-like. + +"It is," says she, "you own up it is!" And she give him a jounce. + +"No, darling," he gets out of him, "you know I never could bear them +thin, scrawny kind of women." And he begins to call her pet names of +all kinds and beg her please, if she won't get off complete, to set +somewheres else a minute, fur his chest he can feel giving way, and his +ribs caving in. He called her his plump little woman three or four +times and she must of softened up some, fur she moved and his voice come +stronger, but not less meek and lowly. And he follers it up: + +"Dolly, darling," he says, "I bet I know something my little woman don't +know." + +"What is it?" the fat lady asts him. + +"You don't know what a cruel, weak stomach your hubby has got," Watty +says, awful coaxing like, "or you wouldn't bear down quite so hard onto +it--please, Dolly!" + +She begins to blubber and say he is making fun of her big size, and if +he is mean to her any more or ever looks at another woman agin she will +take anti-fat and fade away to nothing and ruin his show, and it is +awful hard to be made a joke of all her life and not have no steady home +nor nothing like other women does. + +"You know I worship every pound of you, little woman," says Watty, +still coaxing. "Why can't you trust me? You know, Dolly, darling, I +wouldn't take your weight in gold for you." And he tells her they never +was but once in all his life he has so much as turned his head to look +at another woman, and that was by way of a plutonic admiration, and no +flirting intended, he says. And even then it was before he had met his +own little woman. And that other woman, he says, was plump too, fur he +wouldn't never look at none but a plump woman. + +"What did she weigh?" asts Watty's wife. He tells her a measly little +three hundred pound. + +"But she wasn't refined like my little woman," says Watty, "and when I +seen that I passed her up." And inch by inch Watty coaxed her clean off +of him. + +But the next day she hearn him and Mrs. Ostrich giggling about +something, and she has a reg'lar tantrum, and jest fur meanness goes out +and falls down on the race track, pertending she has fainted, and they +can't move her no ways, not even roll her. But finally they rousted her +out of that by one of these here sprinkling carts backing up agin her +and turning loose. + +But aside from them occasional mean streaks Dolly was real nice, and I +kind of got to liking her. She tells me that because she is so fat no +one won't take her serious like a human being, and she wisht she was +like other women and had a fambly. That woman wanted a baby, too, and I +bet she would of been good to it, fur she was awful good to animals. She +had been big from a little girl, and never got no sympathy when sick, +nor nothing, and even whilst she played with dolls as a kid she knowed +she looked ridiculous, and was laughed at. And by jings!--they was +the funniest thing come to light before we left that crowd. That poor, +derned, old, fat fool HAD a doll yet, all hid away, and when she was +alone she used to take it out and cuddle it. Well, Dolly never had many +friends, and you couldn't blame her much if she did drink a little too +much now and then, or get mad at Watty fur his goings-on and kneel down +on him whilst he was asleep. Them was her only faults and I liked the +old girl. Yet I could see Watty had his troubles too. + +That show busted up before the fair closed. Fur one day Watty's wife +gets mad at Mrs. Ostrich and tries to set on her. And then Mrs. Ostrich +gets mad too, and sicks Reginald onto her. Watty's wife is awful scared +of Reginald, who don't really have ambition enough to bite no one, let +alone a lady built so round everywhere he couldn't of got a grip on her. +And as fur as wrapping himself around her and squashing her to death, +Reginald never seen the day he could reach that fur. Reginald's feelings +is plumb friendly toward Dolly when he is turned loose, but she don't +know that, and she has some hysterics and faints in earnest this time. +Well, they was an awful hullaballo when she come to, and fur the sake of +peace in the fambly Watty has to fire Mr. and Mrs. Ostrich and poor old +Reginald out of their jobs, and the show is busted. So Doctor Kirby and +me lit out fur other parts agin. + + + + + +CHAPTER IX + + +We was jogging along one afternoon not fur from a good-sized town at the +top of Ohio, right on the lake, when we run acrost some remainders of +a busted circus riding in a stake and chain wagon. They was two +fellers--both jugglers, acrobats, and tumblers--and a balloon. The +circus had busted without paying them nothing but promises fur months +and months, and they had took the team and wagon and balloon by +attachment, they said. They was carting her from the little burg the +show busted in to that good-sized town on the lake. They would sell the +team and wagon there and get money enough to put an advertisement in +the Billboard, which is like a Bible to them showmen, that they had a +balloon to sell and was at liberty. + +One of them was the slimmest, lightest-footed, quickest feller you ever +seen, with a big nose and dark complected, and his name was Tobias. The +other was heavier and blonde complected. His name was Dobbs, he said, +and they was the Blanchet Brothers. Doctor Kirby and them got real well +acquainted in about three minutes. We drove on ahead and got into the +town first. + +The doctor says that balloon is jest wasted on them fellers. They can't +go up in her, not knowing that trade, but still they ought to be some +way fur them to make a little stake out of it before it was sold. + +The next evening we run acrost them fellers on the street, and they was +feeling purty blue. They hadn't been able to sell that team and wagon, +which it was eating its meals reg'lar in a livery stable, and they had +been doing stunts in the street that day and passing around the hat, but +not getting enough fur to pay expenses. + +"Where's the balloon?" asts the doctor. And I seen he was sicking his +intellects onto the job of making her pay. + +"In the livery stable with the wagon," they tells him. + +He says he is going to figger out a way to help them boys. They is like +all circus performers, he says--they jest knows their own acts, and +talks about 'em all the time, and studies up ways to make 'em better, +and has got no more idea of business outside of that than a rabbit. We +all went to the livery stable and overhauled that balloon. It was an +awful job, too. But they wasn't a rip in her, and the parachute was jest +as good as new. + +"There's no reason why we can't give a show of our own," says Doctor +Kirby, "with you boys and Danny and me and that balloon. What we want +is a lot with a high board fence around it, like a baseball grounds, +and the chance to tap a gas main." He says he'll be willing to take a +chancet on it, even paying the gas company real money to fill her up. + +What the Doctor didn't know about starting shows wasn't worth knowing. +He had even went in for the real drama in his younger days now and then. + +"One of my theatrical productions came very near succeeding, too," he +says. + +It was a play he says, in which the hero falls in love with a pair of +Siamese twins and commits suicide because he can't make a choice between +them. + +"We played it as comedy in the big towns and tragedy in the little +ones," he says. "But like a fool I booked it for two weeks of +middle-sized towns and it broke us." + +The next day he finds a lot that will do jest fine. It has been used fur +a school playgrounds, but the school has been moved and the old building +is to be tore down. He hired the place cheap. And he goes and talks the +gas company into giving him credit to fill that balloon. Which I kept +wondering what was the use of filling her, fur none of the four of +us had ever went up in one. And when I seen the handbills he had had +printed I wondered all the more. They read as follers: + + +Kirby's Komedy Kompany and Open Air Circus + +Presenting a Peerless Personnel of Artistic Attractions + +Greatest in the Galaxy of Gaiety, is + +Hartley L. Kirby + +Monologuist and minstrel, dancer and vaudevillian in his terpsichorean +travesties, buoyant burlesques, inimitable imitations, screaming +impersonations, refined comedy sketches and popular song hits of the +day. + + +The Blanchet Brothers + +Daring, Dazzling, Danger-Loving, Death-Defying Demons + +Joyous jugglers, acrobatic artists, constrictorial contortionists, +exquisite equilibrists, in their marvellous, mysterious, unparalleled +performances. + + +Umslopogus The Patagonian Chieftain + +The lowest type of human intellect + +This formerly ferocious fiend has so far succumbed to the softer wiles +of civilization that he is no longer a cannibal, and it is now safe to +put him on exhibition. But to prevent accidents he is heavily manacled, +and the public is warned not to come too near. + + + Balloon! Balloon!! Balloon!!! + + The management also presents the balloon of + + Prof. Alonzo Ackerman The Famous Aeronaut + + in which he has made his + + Wonderful Ascension and Parachute Drop + + many times, reaching remarkable altitudes + + Balloon! Balloon!! Balloon!!! + + Saturday, 3 P. M. Old Vandegrift School Lot + + + Admission 50 Cents + + +Well, fur a writer he certainly laid over Looey, Doctor Kirby did--more +cheerful-like, you might say. I seen right off I was to be the +Patagonian Chieftain. I was getting more and more of an actor right +along--first an Injun, then a wild Borneo, and now a Patagonian. + +"But who is this Alonzo Ackerman?" I asts him. + +"Celebrated balloonist," says he, "and the man that invented parachutes. +They eat out of his hand." + +"Where is he?" asts I. + +"How should I know?" he says. + +"How is he going up, then?" I asts. + +The doctor chuckles and says it is a good bill, a better bill than he +thought; that it is getting in its work already. He says to me to read +it careful and see if it says Alonzo Ackerman is going up. Well, it +don't. But any one would of thought so the first look. I reckon that +bill was some of a liar herself, not lying outright, but jest hinting a +lie. They is a lot of mean, stingy-souled kind of people wouldn't never +lie to help a friend, but Doctor Kirby wasn't one of 'em. + +"But," I says, "when that crowd finds out Alonzo ain't going up they +will be purty mad." + +"Oh," says he, "I don't think so. The American public are a good-natured +set of chuckle-heads, mostly. If they get sore I'll talk 'em out of it." + +If he had any faults at all--and mind you, I ain't saying Doctor Kirby +had any--the one he had hardest was the belief he could talk any crowd +into any notion, or out of it, either. And he loved to do it jest fur +the fun of it. He'd rather have the feeling he was doing that than the +money any day. He was powerful vain about that gab of his'n, Doctor +Kirby was. + +The four of us took around about five thousand bills. The doctor says +they is nothing like giving yourself a chancet. And Saturday morning we +got the balloon filled up so she showed handsome, tugging away there at +her ropes. But we had a dern mean time with that balloon, too. + +The doctor says if we have good luck there may be as many as three, four +hundred people. + +But Jerusalem! They was two, three times that many. By the time the +show started I reckon they was nigh a thousand there. The doctor and +the Blanchet Brothers was tickled. When they quit coming fast the doctor +left the gate and made a little speech, telling all about the wonderful +show, and the great expense it was to get it together, and all that. + +They was a rope stretched between the crowd and us. Back of that was the +Blanchet Brothers' wagon and our wagon, and our little tent. I was jest +inside the tent with chains on. Back of everything else was the balloon. + +Well, the doctor he done a lot of songs and things as advertised. Then +the Blanchet Brothers done some of their acts. They was really fine +acts, too. Then come some more of Doctor Kirby's refined comedy, as +advertised. Next, more Blanchet. Then a lecture about me by the doctor. +All in all it takes up about an hour and a half. Then the doctor makes +a mighty nice little talk, and wishes them all good afternoon, thanking +them fur their kind intentions and liberal patronage, one and all. + +"But when will the balloon go up?" asts half a dozen at oncet. + +"The balloon?" asts Doctor Kirby, surprised. + +"Balloon! Balloon!" yells a kid. And the hull crowd took it up and +yelled: "Balloon! Balloon! Balloon!" And they crowded up closte to that +rope. + +Doctor Kirby has been getting off the wagon, but he gets back on her, +and stretches his arms wide, and motions of 'em all to come close. + +"Ladies and gentlemen," he says, "please to gather near--up here, +good people--and listen! Listen to what I have to say--harken to the +utterings of my voice! There has been a misunderstanding here! There has +been a misconstruction! There has been, ladies and gentlemen, a woeful +lack of comprehension here!" + +It looked to me like they was beginning to understand more than he meant +them to. I was wondering how it would all come out, but he never lost +his nerve. + +"Listen," he says, very earnest, "listen to me. Somehow the idea seems +to have gone forth that there would be a balloon ascension here this +afternoon. How, I do not know, for what we advertised, ladies and +gentlemen, was that the balloon used by Prof. Alonzo Ackerman, the +illustrious aeronaut, would be UPON EXHIBITION. And there she is, ladies +and gentlemen, there she is, for every eye to see and gladden with the +sight of--right before you, ladies and gentlemen--the balloon of Alonzo +Ackerman, the wonderful voyager of the air, exactly as represented. +During their long career Kirby and Company have never deceived the +public. Others may, but Kirby and Company are like Caesar's wife--Kirby +and Company are above suspicion. It is the province of Kirby's Komedy +Kompany, ladies and gentlemen, to spread the glad tidings of innocent +amusement throughout the length and breadth of this fair land of ours. +And there she is before you, the balloon as advertised, the gallant ship +of the air in which the illustrious Ackerman made so many voyages before +he sailed at last into the Great Beyond! You can see her, ladies and +gentlemen, straining at her cords, anxious to mount into the heavens +and be gone! It is an education in itself, ladies and gentlemen, a moral +education, and well worth coming miles to see. Think of it--think of +it--the Ackerman balloon--and then think that the illustrious Ackerman +himself--he was my personal friend, ladies and gentlemen, and a true +friend sticketh closer than a brother--the illustrious Ackerman is dead. +The balloon, ladies and gentlemen, is there, but Ackerman is gone to his +reward. Look at that balloon, ladies and gentlemen, and tell me if you +can, why should the spirit of mortals be proud? For the man that rode +her like a master and tamed her like she was a dove lies cold and dead +in a western graveyard, ladies and gentlemen, and she is here, a useless +and an idle vanity without the mind that made her go!" + +Well, he went on and he told a funny story about Alonzo, which I don't +believe they ever was no Alonzo Ackerman, and a lot of 'em laughed; +and he told a pitiful story, and they got sollum agin, and then another +funny story. Well, he had 'em listening, and purty soon most of the +crowd is feeling in a good humour toward him, and one feller yells out: + +"Go it--you're a hull show yourself!" And some joshes him, but they +don't seem to be no trouble in the air. When they all look to be in a +good humour he holds up a bill and asts how many has them. Many has. He +says that is well, and then he starts to telling another story. But +in the middle of the story that hull dern crowd is took with a fit of +laughing. They has looked at the bill closet, and seen they is sold, and +is taking it good-natured. And still shouting and laughing most of them +begins to start along off. And I thought all chancet of trouble was over +with. But it wasn't. + +Fur they is always a natcheral born kicker everywhere, and they was one +here, too. + +He was a lean feller with a sticking out jaw, and one of his eyes was in +a kind of a black pocket, and he was jest natcherally laying it off to +about a dozen fellers that was in a little knot around him. + +The doctor sees the main part of the crowd going and climbs down off'n +the wagon. As he does so that hull bunch of about a dozen moves in under +the rope, and some more that was going out seen it, and stopped and come +back. + +"Perfessor," says the man with the patch over his eye to Doctor Kirby, +"you say this man Ackerman is dead?" + +"Yes," says the doctor, eying him over, "he's dead." + +"How did he die?" asts the feller. + +"He died hard, I understand," says the doctor, careless-like. + +"Fell out of his balloon?" + +"Yes." + +"This aeronaut trade is a dangerous trade, I hear," says the feller with +the patch on his eye. + +"They say so," says Doctor Kirby, easy-like. + +"Was you ever an aeronaut yourself?" asts the feller. + +"No," says the doctor. + +"Never been up in a balloon?" + +"No." + +"Well, you're going up in one this afternoon!" + +"What do you mean?" asts Doctor Kirby. + +"We've come out to see a balloon ascension--and we're going to see it, +too." + +And with that the hull crowd made a rush at the doctor. + +Well, I been in fights before that, and I been in fights since then. But +I never been in no harder one. The doctor and the two Blanchet brothers +and me managed to get backed up agin the fence in a row when the rush +come. I guess I done my share, and I guess the Blanchet brothers done +theirn, too. But they was too many of 'em for us--too dern many. It +wouldn't of ended as quick as it did if Doctor Kirby hadn't gone clean +crazy. His back was to the fence, and he cleaned out everything in front +of him, and then he give a wild roar jest like a bull and rushed that +hull gang--twenty men, they was--with his head down. He caught two +fellers, one in each hand, and he cracked their heads together, and he +caught two more, and done the same. But he orter never took his back +away from that fence. The hull gang closed in on him, and down he went +at the bottom of a pile. I was awful busy myself, but I seen that pile +moving and churning. Then I made a big mistake myself. I kicked a feller +in the stomach, and another feller caught my leg, and down I went. Fur +a half a minute I never knowed nothing. And when I come to I was all +mashed about the face, and two fellers was sitting on me. + +The crowd was tying Doctor Kirby to that parachute. They straddled +legs over the parachute bar, and tied his feet below it. He was still +fighting, but they was too many fur him. They left his arms untied, but +they held 'em, and then-- + +Then they cut her loose. She went up like she was shot from a gun, and +as she did Doctor Kirby took a grip on a feller's arm that hadn't let +loose quick enough and lifted him plumb off'n the ground. He slewed +around on the trapeze bar with the feller's weight, and slipped head +downward. And as he slipped he give that feller a swing and let loose +of him, and then ketched himself by the crook of one knee. The feller +turned over twicet in the air and landed in a little crumpled-up pile on +the ground, and never made a sound. + +The fellers that had holt of me forgot me and stood up, and I stood up +too, and looked. The balloon was rising fast. Doctor Kirby was trying to +pull himself up to the trapeze bar, twisting and squirming and having +a hard time of it, and shooting higher every second. I reckoned he +couldn't fall complete, fur where his feet was tied would likely hold +even if his knee come straight--but he would die mebby with his head +filling up with blood. But finally he made a squirm and raised himself a +lot and grabbed the rope at one side of the bar. And then he reached and +got the rope on the other side, and set straddle of her. And jest as he +done that the wind ketched the balloon good and hard, and she turned out +toward Lake Erie. It was too late fur him to pull the rope that sets the +parachute loose then, and drop onto the land. + +I rushed out of that schoolhouse yard and down the street toward the +lake front, and run, stumbling along and looking up. She was getting +smaller every minute. And with my head in the air looking up I was +running plumb to the edge of the water before I knowed it. + +She was away out over the lake now, and awful high, and going fast +before the wind, and the doctor was only a speck. And as I stared at +that speck away up in the sky I thought this was a mean world to live +in. Fur there was the only real friend I ever had, and no way fur me to +help him. He had learnt me to read, and bought me good clothes, and made +me know they was things in the world worth travelling around to see, and +made me feel like I was something more than jest Old Hank Walters's dog. +And I guessed he would be drownded and I would never see him agin now. +And all of a sudden something busted loose inside of me, and I sunk +down there at the edge of the water, sick at my stomach, and weak and +shivering. + + + + + +CHAPTER X + + +I didn't exactly faint there, but things got all mixed fur me, and when +they was straightened out agin I was in a hospital. It seems I had +been considerable stepped on in that fight, and three ribs was broke. I +knowed I was hurting, but I was so interested in what was happening to +the doctor the hull hurt never come to me till the balloon was way out +over the lake. + +But now I was in a plaster cast, and before I got out of that I was in a +fever. I was some weeks getting out of there. + +I tried to get some word of Doctor Kirby, but couldn't. Nothing had been +heard of him or the balloon. The newspapers had had stuff about it fur a +day or two, and they guessed the body might come to light sometime. But +that was all. And I didn't know where to hunt nor how. + +The hosses and wagon and tent and things worried me some, too. They +wasn't mine, and so I couldn't sell 'em. And they wasn't no good to me +without Doctor Kirby. So I tells the man that owns the livery stable to +use the team fur its board and keep it till Doctor Kirby calls fur it, +and if he never does mebby I will sometime. + +I didn't want to stay in that town or I could of got a job in the livery +stable. They offered me one, but I hated that town. I wanted to light +out. I didn't much care where to. + +Them Blanchet Brothers had left a good share of the money we took in +at the balloon ascension with the hospital people fur me before they +cleared out. But before I left that there town I seen they was one thing +I had to do to make myself easy in my mind. So I done her. + +That was to hunt up that feller with his eye in the patch. It took me +a week to find him. He lived down near some railroad yards. I might of +soaked him with a coupling link and felt a hull lot better. But I didn't +guess it would do to pet and pamper my feelings too much. So I does it +with my fists in a quiet place, and does it very complete, and leaves +that town in a cattle car, feeling a hull lot more contented in my mind. + +Then they was a hull dern year I didn't stay nowhere very long, nor +work at any one job too long, neither. I jest worked from place to place +seeing things--big towns and rivers and mountains. Working here and +there, and loafing and riding blind baggages and freight trains between +jobs, I covered a lot of ground that year, and made some purty big +jumps, and got acquainted with some awful queer folks, first and last. + +But the worst of that is lots of people gets to thinking I am a hobo. +Even one or two judges in police courts I got acquainted with had that +there idea of me. I always explains that I am not one, and am jest +travelling around to see things, and working when I feels like it, and +ain't no bum. But frequent I am not believed. And two, three different +times I gets to the place where I couldn't hardly of told myself from a +hobo, if I hadn't of knowed I wasn't one. + +I got right well acquainted with some of them hobos, too. As fur as I +can see, they is as much difference in them as in other humans. Some +travels because they likes to see things, and some because they hates to +work, and some because they is in the habit and can't stop it. Well, I +know myself it's purty hard after while to stop it, fur where would you +stop at? What excuse is they to stop one place more'n another? I met all +kinds of 'em, and oncet I got in fur a week with a couple of real Johnny +Yeggs that is both in the pen now. I hearn a feller say one time there +is some good in every man. I went the same way as them two yeggmen a +hull dern week to try and find out where the good in 'em was. I guess +they must be some mistake somewheres, fur I looked hard and I watched +closet and I never found it. They is many kinds of hobos and tramps, +perfessional and amachure, and lots of kinds of bums, and lots of young +fellers working their way around to see things, like I was, and lots of +working men in hard luck going from place to place, and all them kinds +is humans. But the real yeggman ain't even a dog. + +And oncet I went all the way from Chicago to Baltimore with a serious, +dern fool that said he was a soshyologest, whatever them is, and was +going to put her all into a book about the criminal classes. He worked +hard trying to get at the reason I was a hobo. Which they wasn't no +reason, fur I wasn't no hobo. But I didn't want to disappoint that +feller and spoil his book fur him. So I tells him things. Things not +overly truthful, but very full of crime. About a year afterward I was +into one of these here Andrew Carnegie lib'aries with the names of the +old-time presidents all chiselled along the top and I seen the hull +dern thing in print. He said of me the same thing I have said about them +yeggmen. If all he met joshed that feller the same as me, that book must +of been what you might call misleading in spots. + +One morning I woke up in a good-sized town in Illinoise, not a hundred +miles from where I was raised, without no money, and my clothes not much +to look at, and no job. I had been with a railroad show fur about two +weeks, driving stakes and other rough work, and it had went off and left +me sleeping on the ground. Circuses never waits fur nothing nor cares a +dern fur no one. I tried all day around town fur to get some kind of a +job. But I was looking purty rough and I couldn't land nothing. Along in +the afternoon I was awful hungry. + +I was feeling purty low down to have to ast fur a meal, but finally I +done it. + +I dunno how I ever come to pick out such a swell-looking house, but I +makes a little talk at the back door and the Irish girl she says, "Come +in," and into the kitchen I goes. + +"It's Minnesota you're working toward?" asts she, pouring me out a cup +of coffee. + +She is thinking of the wheat harvest where they is thousands makes fur +every fall. But none of 'em fur me. That there country is full of them +Scandiluvian Swedes and Norwegians, and they gets into the field before +daylight and stays there so long the hired man's got to milk the cows by +moonlight. + +"I been acrost the river into I'way," I says, "a-working at my trade, +and now I'm going back to Chicago to work at it some more." + +"What might your trade be?" she asts, sizing me up careful; and I thinks +I'll hand her one to chew on she ain't never hearn tell of before. + +"I'm a agnostic by trade," I says. I spotted that there word in a +religious book one time, and that's the first chancet I ever has to try +it on any one. You can't never tell what them reg'lar sockdologers is +going to do till you tries them. + +"I see," says she. But I seen she didn't see. And I didn't help her +none. She would of ruther died than to let on she didn't see. The Irish +is like that. Purty soon she says: + +"Ain't that the dangerous kind o' work, though!" + +"It is," I says. And says nothing further. + +She sets down and folds her arms, like she was thinking of it, watching +my hands closet all the time I was eating, like she's looking fur scars +where something slipped when I done that agnostic work. Purty soon she +says: + +"Me brother Michael was kilt at it in the old country. He was the most +vinturesome lad of thim all!" + +"Did it fly up and hit him?" I asts her. I was wondering w'ether she is +making fun of me or am I making fun of her. Them Irish is like that, you +can never tell which. + +"No," says she, "he fell off of it. And I'm thinking you don't know what +it is yourself." And the next thing I know I'm eased out o' the back +door and she's grinning at me scornful through the crack of it. + +So I was walking slow around toward the front of the house thinking how +the Irish was a great nation, and what shall I do now, anyhow? And I +says to myself: "Danny, you was a fool to let that circus walk off and +leave you asleep in this here town with nothing over you but a barbed +wire fence this morning. Fur what ARE you going to do next? First thing +you know, you WILL be a reg'lar tramp, which some folks can't be made +to see you ain't now." And jest when I was thinking that, a feller comes +down the front steps of that house on the jump and nabs me by the coat +collar. + +"Did you come out of this house?" he asts. + +"I did," I says, wondering what next. + +"Back in you go, then," he says, marching me forward toward them front +steps, "they've got smallpox in there." + +I like to of jumped loose when he says that. + +"Smallpox ain't no inducement to me, mister," I tells him. But he +twisted my coat collar tight and dug his thumbs into my neck, all the +time helping me onward with his knee from behind, and I seen they wasn't +no use pulling back. I could probable of licked that man, but they's no +system in mixing up with them well-dressed men in towns where they think +you are a tramp. The judge will give you the worst of it. + +He rung the door bell and the girl that opened the door she looked kind +o' surprised when she seen me, and in we went. + +"Tell Professor Booth that Doctor Wilkins wants to see him again," +says the man a-holt o' me, not letting loose none. And we says nothing +further till the perfessor comes, which he does, slow and absent-minded. +When he seen me he took off his glasses so's he could see me better, and +he says: + +"What is that you have there, Doctor Wilkins?" + +"A guest for you," says Doctor Wilkins, grinning all over hisself. "I +found him leaving your house. And you being under quarantine, and me +being secretary to the board of health, and the city pest-house being +crowded too full already, I'll have to ask you to keep him here till +we get Miss Margery onto her feet again," he says. Or they was words to +that effect, as the lawyers asts you. + +"Dear me," says Perfesser Booth, kind o' helpless like. And he +comes over closet to me and looks me all over like I was one of them +amphimissourian lizards in a free museum. And then he goes to the foot +of the stairs and sings out in a voice that was so bleached-out and +flat-chested it would of looked jest like him himself if you could of +saw it--"Estelle," he sings out, "oh, Estelle!" + +Estelle, she come down stairs looking like she was the perfessor's big +brother. I found out later she was his old maid sister. She wasn't no +spring chicken, Estelle wasn't, and they was a continuous grin on her +face. I figgered it must of froze there years and years ago. They was +a kid about ten or eleven years old come along down with her, that had +hair down to its shoulders and didn't look like it knowed whether it was +a girl or a boy. Miss Estelle, she looks me over in a way that makes me +shiver, while the doctor and the perfessor jaws about whose fault it is +the smallpox sign ain't been hung out. And when she was done listening +she says to the perfessor: "You had better go back to your laboratory." +And the perfessor he went along out, and the doctor with him. + +"What are you going to do with him, Aunt Estelle?" the kid asts her. + +"What would YOU suggest, William, Dear?" asts his aunt. I ain't feeling +very comfortable, and I was getting all ready jest to natcherally bolt +out the front door now the doctor was gone. Then I thinks it mightn't be +no bad place to stay in fur a couple o' days, even risking the smallpox. +Fur I had riccolected I couldn't ketch it nohow, having been vaccinated +a few months before in Terry Hutt by compulsive medical advice, me being +fur a while doing some work on the city pavements through a mistake +about me in the police court. + +William Dear looks at me like it was the day of judgment and his job was +to keep the fatted calves separate from the goats and prodigals, and he +says: + +"If I were you, Aunt Estelle, the first thing would be to get his hair +cut and his face washed and then get him some clothes." + +"William Dear is my friend," thinks I. + +She calls James, which was a butler. James, he buttles me into a +bathroom the like o' which I never seen afore, and then he buttles me +into a suit o' somebody's clothes and into a room at the top o' the +house next to his'n, and then he comes back and buttles a comb and brush +at me. James was the most mournful-looking fat man I ever seen, and he +says that account of me not being respectable I will have my meals alone +in the kitchen after the servants has eat. + +The first thing I knowed I been in that house more'n a week. I eat and I +slept and I smoked and I kind of enjoyed not worrying about things fur +a while. The only oncomfortable thing about being the perfessor's guest +was Miss Estelle. Soon's she found out I was a agnostic she took charge +o' my intellectuals and what went into 'em, and she makes me read things +and asts me about 'em, and she says she is going fur to reform me. And +whatever brand o' disgrace them there agnostics really is I ain't found +out to this day, having come acrost the word accidental. + +Biddy Malone, which was the kitchen mechanic, she says the perfessor's +wife's been over to her mother's while this smallpox has been going on, +and they is a nurse in the house looking after Miss Margery, the little +kid that's sick. And Biddy, she says if she was Mrs. Booth she'd stay +there, too. They's been some talk, anyhow, about Mrs. Booth and a +musician feller around that there town. But Biddy, she likes Mrs. Booth, +and even if it was true, which it ain't Biddy says, who could of blamed +her? Fur things ain't joyous around that house the last year, since Miss +Estelle's come there to live. The perfessor, he's so full of scientifics +he don't know nothing with no sense to it, Biddy says. He's got more +money'n you can shake a stick at, and he don't have to do no work, nor +never has, and his scientifics gets worse and worse every year. But +while scientifics is worrying to the nerves of a fambly, and while his +labertory often makes the house smell like a sick drug store has crawled +into it and died there, they wouldn't of been no serious row on between +the perfessor and his wife, not ALL the time, if it hadn't of been fur +Miss Estelle. She has jest natcherally made herself boss of that there +house, Biddy says, and she's a she-devil. Between all them scientifics +and Miss Estelle things has got where Mrs. Booth can't stand 'em much +longer. + +I didn't blame her none fur getting sore on her job, neither. You +can't expect a woman that's purty, and knows it, and ain't no more'n +thirty-two or three, and don't look it, to be serious intrusted in +mummies and pickled snakes and chemical perfusions, not ALL the time. +Mebby when Mrs. Booth would ast him if he was going to take her to the +opery that night the perfessor would look up in an absent-minded sort +of way and ast her did she know them Germans had invented a new germ? It +wouldn't of been so bad if the perfessor had picked out jest one brand +of scientifics and stuck to that reg'lar. Mrs. Booth could of got use to +any ONE kind. But mebby this week the perfessor would be took hard with +ornithography and he'd go chasing humming-birds all over the front yard, +and the next he'd be putting gastronomy into William's breakfast feed. + +They was always a row on over them kids, which they hadn't been till +Miss Estelle come. Mrs. Booth, she said they could kill their own +selves, if they wanted to, him and Miss Estelle, but she had more +right than any one else to say what went into William's and Margery's +digestive ornaments, and she didn't want 'em brung up scientific nohow, +but jest human. But Miss Estelle's got so she runs that hull house +now, and the perfessor too, but he don't know it, Biddy says, and her +a-saying every now and then it was too bad Frederick couldn't of married +a noble woman who would of took a serious intrust in his work. The kids +don't hardly dare to kiss their ma in front of Miss Estelle no more, on +account of germs and things. And with Miss Estelle taking care of their +religious organs and their intellectuals and the things like that, and +the perfessor filling them up on new invented feeds, I guess they never +was two kids got more education to the square inch, outside and in. It +hadn't worked none on Miss Margery yet, her being younger, but William +Dear he took it hard and serious, and it made bumps all over his head, +and he was kind o' pale and spindly. Every time that kid cut his finger +he jest natcherally bled scientifics. One day I says to Miss Estelle, +says I: + +"It looks to me like William Dear is kind of peaked." She looks worried +and she looks mad fur me lipping in, and then she says mebby it is true, +but she don't see why, because he is being brung up like he orter be in +every way and no expense nor trouble spared. + +"Well," says I, "what a kid about that size wants to do is to get out +and roll around in the dirt some, and yell and holler." + +She sniffs like I wasn't worth taking no notice of. But it kind o' +soaked in, too. She and the perfessor must of talked it over. Fur the +next day I seen her spreading a oilcloth on the hall floor. And then +James comes a buttling in with a lot of sand what the perfessor has +baked and made all scientific down in his labertory. James, he pours all +that nice, clean dirt onto the oilcloth and then Miss Estelle sends fur +William Dear. + +"William Dear," she says, "we have decided, your papa and I, that what +you need is more romping around and playing along with your studies. You +ought to get closer to the soil and to nature, as is more healthy for +a youth of your age. So for an hour each day, between your studies, you +will romp and play in this sand. You may begin to frolic now, William +Dear, and then James will sweep up the dirt again for to-morrow's +frolic." + +But William didn't frolic none. He jest looked at that dirt in a sad +kind o' way, and he says very serious but very decided: + +"Aunt Estelle, I shall NOT frolic." And they had to let it go at that, +fur he never would frolic none, neither. And all that nice clean dirt +was throwed out in the back yard along with the unscientific dirt. + + + + + +CHAPTER XI + + +One night when I've been there more'n a week, and am getting kind o' +tired staying in one place so long, I don't want to go to bed after I +eats, and I gets a-holt of some of the perfessor's cigars and goes +into the lib'ary to see if he's got anything fit to read. Setting there +thinking of the awful remarkable people they is in this world I must of +went to sleep. Purty soon, in my sleep, I hearn two voices. Then I waked +up sudden, and still hearn 'em, low and quicklike, in the room that +opens right off of the lib'ary with a couple of them sliding doors like +is onto a box car. One voice was a woman's voice, and it wasn't Miss +Estelle's. + +"But I MUST see them before we go, Henry," she says. + +And the other was a man's voice and it wasn't no one around our house. + +"But, my God," he says, "suppose you get it yourself, Jane!" + +I set up straight then, fur Jane was the perfessor's wife's first name. + +"You mean suppose YOU get it," she says. I like to of seen the look she +must of give him to fit in with the way she says that YOU. He didn't say +nothing, the man didn't; and then her voice softens down some, and +she says, low and slow: "Henry, wouldn't you love me if I DID get it? +Suppose it marked and pitted me all up?" + +"Oh, of course," he says, "of course I would. Nothing can change the way +I feel. YOU know that." He said it quick enough, all right, jest the way +they does in a show, but it sounded TOO MUCH like it does on the stage +to of suited me if _I_'D been her. I seen folks overdo them little talks +before this. + +I listens some more, and then I sees how it is. This is that musician +feller Biddy Malone's been talking about. Jane's going to run off with +him all right, but she's got to kiss the kids first. Women is like that. +They may hate the kids' pa all right, but they's dad-burned few of 'em +don't like the kids. I thinks to myself: "It must be late. I bet they +was already started, or ready to start, and she made him bring her here +first so's she could sneak in and see the kids. She jest simply couldn't +get by. But she's taking a fool risk, too. Fur how's she going to see +Margery with that nurse coming and going and hanging around all night? +And even if she tries jest to see William Dear it's a ten to one shot +he'll wake up and she'll be ketched at it." + +And then I thinks, suppose she IS ketched at it? What of it? Ain't a +woman got a right to come into her own house with her own door key, even +if they is a quarantine onto it, and see her kids? And if she is ketched +seeing them, how would any one know she was going to run off? And ain't +she got a right to have a friend of hern and her husband's bring her +over from her mother's house, even if it is a little late? + +Then I seen she wasn't taking no great risks neither, and I thinks mebby +I better go and tell that perfessor what is going on, fur he has treated +me purty white. And then I thinks: "I'll be gosh-derned if I meddle. +So fur as I can see that there perfessor ain't getting fur from what's +coming to him, nohow. And as fur HER, you got to let some people find +out what they want fur theirselves. Anyhow, where do _I_ come in at?" + +But I want to get a look at her and Henry, anyhow. So I eases off my +shoes, careful-like, and I eases acrost the floor to them sliding doors, +and I puts my eye down to the little crack. The talk is going backward +and forward between them two, him wanting her to come away quick, and +her undecided whether to risk seeing the kids. And all the time she's +kind o' hoping mebby she will be ketched if she tries to see the kids, +and she's begging off fur more time ginerally. + +Well, sir, I didn't blame that musician feller none when I seen her. She +was a peach. + +And I couldn't blame her so much, neither, when I thought of Miss +Estelle and all them scientifics of the perfessor's strung out fur years +and years world without end. + +Yet, when I seen the man, I sort o' wished she wouldn't. I seen right +off that Henry wouldn't do. It takes a man with a lot of gumption to +keep a woman feeling good and not sorry fur doing it when he's married +to her. But it takes a man with twicet as much to make her feel right +when they ain't married. This feller wears one of them little, brown, +pointed beards fur to hide where his chin ain't. And his eyes is too +much like a woman's. Which is the kind that gets the biggest piece of +pie at the lunch counter and fergits to thank the girl as cuts it big. +She was setting in front of a table, twisting her fingers together, and +he was walking up and down. I seen he was mad and trying not to show it, +and I seen he was scared of the smallpox and trying not to show that, +too. And jest about that time something happened that kind o' jolted me. + +They was one of them big chairs in the room where they was that has got +a high back and spins around on itself. It was right acrost from me, on +the other side of the room, and it was facing the front window, which +was a bow window. And that there chair begins to turn, slow and easy. +First I thought she wasn't turning. Then I seen she was. But Jane and +Henry didn't. They was all took up with each other in the middle of the +room, with their backs to it. + +Henry is a-begging of Jane, and she turns a little more, that chair +does. Will she squeak, I wonders? + +"Don't you be a fool, Jane," says the Henry feller. + +Around she comes three hull inches, that there chair, and nary a squeak. + +"A fool?" asts Jane, and laughs. "And I'm not a fool to think of going +with you at all, then?" + +That chair, she moved six inches more and I seen the calf of a leg and +part of a crumpled-up coat tail. + +"But I AM going with you, Henry," says Jane. And she gets up jest like +she is going to put her arms around him. + +But Jane don't. Fur that chair swings clear around and there sets the +perfessor. He's all hunched up and caved in and he's rubbing his eyes +like he's jest woke up recent, and he's got a grin onto his face that +makes him look like his sister Estelle looks all the time. + +"Excuse me," says the perfessor. + +They both swings around and faces him. I can hear my heart bumping. Jane +never says a word. The man with the brown beard never says a word. But +if they felt like me they both felt like laying right down there and +having a fit. They looks at him and he jest sets there and grins at +them. + +But after a while Jane, she says: + +"Well, now you KNOW! What are you going to do about it?" + +Henry, he starts to say something too. But-- + +"Don't start anything," says the perfessor to him. "YOU aren't going to +do anything." Or they was words to that effect. + +"Professor Booth," he says, seeing he has got to say something or else +Jane will think the worse of him, "I am--" + +"Keep still," says the perfessor, real quiet. "I'll tend to you in a +minute or two. YOU don't count for much. This thing is mostly between me +and my wife." + +When he talks so decided I thinks mebby that perfessor has got something +into him besides science after all. Jane, she looks kind o' surprised +herself. But she says nothing, except: + +"What are you going to do, Frederick?" And she laughs one of them mean +kind of laughs, and looks at Henry like she wanted him to spunk up a +little more, and says: "What CAN you do, Frederick?" + +Frederick, he says, not excited a bit: + +"There's quite a number of things I COULD do that would look bad when +they got into the newspapers. But it's none of them, unless one of you +forces me to it." Then he says: + +"You DID want to see the children, Jane?" + +She nodded. + +"Jane," he says, "can't you see I'm the better man?" + +The perfessor, he was woke up after all them years of scientifics, and +he didn't want to see her go. "Look at him," he says, pointing to the +feller with the brown beard, "he's scared stiff right now." + +Which I would of been scared myself if I'd a-been ketched that-a-way +like Henry was, and the perfessor's voice sounding like you was chopping +ice every time he spoke. I seen the perfessor didn't want to have no +blood on the carpet without he had to have it, but I seen he was making +up his mind about something, too. Jane, she says: + +"YOU a better man? YOU? You think you've been a model husband just +because you've never beaten me, don't you?" + +"No," says the perfessor, "I've been a blamed fool all right. I've been +a worse fool, maybe, than if I HAD beaten you." Then he turns to Henry +and he says: + +"Duels are out of fashion, aren't they? And a plain killing looks bad in +the papers, doesn't it? Well, you just wait for me." With which he gets +up and trots out, and I hearn him running down stairs to his labertory. + +Henry, he'd ruther go now. He don't want to wait. But with Jane +a-looking at him he's shamed not to wait. It's his place to make some +kind of a strong action now to show Jane he is a great man. But he don't +do it. And Jane is too much of a thoroughbred to show him she expects +it. And me, I'm getting the fidgets and wondering to myself, "What is +that there perfessor up to now? Whatever it is, it ain't like no one +else. He is looney, that perfessor is. And she is kind o' looney, too. +I wonder if they is any one that ain't looney sometimes?" I been +around the country a good 'eal, too, and seen and hearn of some awful +remarkable things, and I never seen no one that wasn't more or less +looney when the SEARCH US THE FEMM comes into the case. Which is a Dago +word I got out'n a newspaper and it means: "Who was the dead gent's lady +friend?" And we all set and sweat and got the fidgets waiting fur that +perfessor to come back. + +Which he done with that Sister Estelle grin onto his face and a pill box +in his hand. They was two pills in the box. He says, placid and chilly: + +"Yes, sir, duels are out of fashion. This is the age of science. All the +same, the one that gets her has got to fight for her. If she isn't worth +fighting for, she isn't worth having. Here are two pills. I made 'em +myself. One has enough poison in it to kill a regiment when it gets to +working well--which it does fifteen minutes after it is taken. The other +one has got nothing harmful in it. If you get the poison one, I keep +her. If I get it, you can have her. Only I hope you will wait long +enough after I'm dead so there won't be any scandal around town." + +Henry, he never said a word. He opened his mouth, but nothing come of +it. When he done that I thought I hearn his tongue scrape agin his cheek +on the inside like a piece of sand-paper. He was scared, Henry was. + +"But YOU know which is which," Jane sings out. "The thing's not fair!" + +"That is the reason my dear Jane is going to shuffle these pills around +each other herself," says the perfessor, "and then pick out one for him +and one for me. YOU don't know which is which, Jane. And as he is the +favourite, he is going to get the first chance. If he gets the one I +want him to get, he will have just fifteen minutes to live after taking +it. In that fifteen minutes he will please to walk so far from my house +that he won't die near it and make a scandal. I won't have a scandal +without I have to. Everything is going to be nice and quiet and +respectable. The effect of the poison is similar to heart failure. No +one can tell the difference on the corpse. There's going to be no blood +anywhere. I will be found dead in my house in the morning with heart +failure, or else he will be picked up dead in the street, far enough +away so as to make no talk." Or they was words to that effect. + +He is rubbing it in considerable, I thinks, that perfessor is. I wonder +if I better jump in and stop the hull thing. Then I thinks: "No, it's +between them three." Besides, I want to see which one is going to get +that there loaded pill. I always been intrusted in games of chancet of +all kinds, and when I seen the perfessor was such a sport, I'm sorry I +been misjudging him all this time. + +Jane, she looks at the box, and she breathes hard and quick. + +"I won't touch 'em," she says. "I refuse to be a party to any murder of +that kind." + +"Huh? You do?" says the perfessor. "But the time when you might have +refused has gone by. You have made yourself a party to it already. +You're really the MAIN party to it. + +"But do as you like," he goes on. "I'm giving him more chance than I +ought to with those pills. I might shoot him, and I would, and then face +the music, if it wasn't for mixing the children up in the scandal, Jane. +If you want to see him get a fair chance, Jane, you've got to hand out +these pills, one to him and then one to me. YOU must kill one or the +other of us, or else _I_'LL kill HIM the other way. And YOU had better +pick one out for him, because _I_ know which is which. Or else let him +pick one out for himself," he says. + +Henry, he wasn't saying nothing. I thought he had fainted. But he +hadn't. I seen him licking his lips. I bet Henry's mouth was all dry +inside. + +Jane, she took the box and she went round in front of Henry and she +looked at him hard. She looked at him like she was thinking: "Fur God's +sake, spunk up some, and take one if it DOES kill you!" Then she says +out loud: "Henry, if you die I will die, too!" + +And Henry, he took one. His hand shook, but he took it out'n the box. If +she had of looked like that at me mebby I would of took one myself. Fur +Jane, she was a peach, she was. But I don't know whether I would of or +not. When she makes that brag about dying, I looked at the perfessor. +What she said never fazed him. And I thinks agin: "Mebby I better jump +in now and stop this thing." And then I thinks agin: "No, it is between +them three and Providence." Besides, I'm anxious to see who is going +to get that pill with the science in it. I gets to feeling jest like +Providence hisself was in that there room picking out them pills with +his own hands. And I was anxious to see what Providence's ideas of right +and wrong was like. So fur as I could see they was all three in the +wrong, but if I had of been in there running them pills in Providence's +place I would of let them all off kind o' easy. + +Henry, he ain't eat his pill yet. He is jest looking at it and shaking. +The perfessor pulls out his watch and lays it on the table. + +"It is a quarter past eleven," he says. "Mr. Murray, are you going to +make me shoot you, after all? I didn't want a scandal," he says. "It's +for you to say whether you want to eat that pill and get your even +chance, or whether you want to get shot. The shooting method is sure, +but it causes talk. These pills won't. WHICH?" + +And he pulls a revolver. Which I suppose he had got that too when he +went down after them pills. + +Henry, he looks at the gun. + +Then he looks at the pill. + +Then he swallers the pill. + +The perfessor puts his gun back into his pocket, and then he puts his +pill into his mouth. He don't swaller it. He looks at the watch, and he +looks at Henry. + +"Sixteen minutes past eleven," he says. "AT EXACTLY TWENTY-NINE MINUTES +TO TWELVE MR. MURRAY WILL BE DEAD. I got the harmless one. I can tell by +the taste." + +And he put the pieces out into his hand, to show that he has chewed +his'n up, not being willing to wait fifteen minutes fur a verdict from +his digestive ornaments. Then he put them pieces back into his mouth and +chewed 'em up and swallered 'em down like he was eating cough drops. + +Henry has got sweat breaking out all over his face, and he tries to make +fur the door, but he falls down onto a sofa. + +"This is murder," he says, weak-like. And he tries to get up again, but +this time he falls to the floor in a dead faint. + +"It's a dern short fifteen minutes," I thinks to myself. "That perfessor +must of put more science into Henry's pill than he thought he did fur it +to of knocked him out this quick. It ain't skeercly three minutes." + +When Henry falls the woman staggers and tries to throw herself on top +of him. The corners of her mouth was all drawed down, and her eyes was +turned up. But she don't yell none. She can't. She tries, but she jest +gurgles in her throat. The perfessor won't let her fall acrost Henry. +He ketches her. "Sit up, Jane," he says, with that Estelle look onto his +face, "and let us have a talk." + +She looks at him with no more sense in her face than a piece of putty +has got. But she can't look away from him. + +And I'm kind o' paralyzed, too. If that feller laying on the floor +had only jest kicked oncet, or grunted, or done something, I could of +loosened up and yelled, and I would of. I jest NEEDED to fetch a yell. +But Henry ain't more'n dropped down there till I'm feeling jest like +he'd ALWAYS been there, and I'd ALWAYS been staring into that room, and +the last word any one spoke was said hundreds and hundreds of years ago. + +"You're a murderer," says Jane in a whisper, looking at the perfessor in +that stare-eyed way. "You're a MURDERER," she says, saying it like she +was trying to make herself feel sure he really was one. + +"Murder!" says the perfessor. "Did you think I was going to run any +chances for a pup like him? He's scared, that's all. He's just fainted +through fright. He's a coward. Those pills were both just bread and +sugar. He'll be all right in a minute or two. I've just been showing +you that the fellow hasn't got nerve enough nor brains enough for a fine +woman like you, Jane," he says. + +Then Jane begins to sob and laugh, both to oncet, kind o' wild like, her +voice clucking like a hen does, and she says: + +"It's worse then, it's worse! It's worse for me than if it were a +murder! Some farces can be more tragic than any tragedy ever was," she +says. Or they was words to that effect. + +And if Henry had of been really dead she couldn't of took it no harder +than she begun to take it now when she saw he was alive, but jest wasn't +no good. But I seen she was taking on fur herself now more'n fur Henry. +Doctor Kirby always use to say women is made unlike most other animals +in many ways. When they is foolish about a man they can stand to have +that man killed a good 'eal better than to have him showed up ridiculous +right in front of them. They will still be crazy about the man that is +dead, even if he was crooked. But they don't never forgive the fellow +that lets himself be made a fool and lets them look foolish, too. And +when the perfessor kicks Henry in the ribs, and Henry comes to and +sneaks out, Jane, she never even turns her head and looks at him. + +"Jane," says the perfessor, when she quiets down some, "you have a lot +o' things to forgive me. But do you suppose I have learned enough so +that we can make a go of it if we start all over again?" + +But Jane she never said nothing. + +"Jane," he says, "Estelle is going back to New England, as soon as +Margery gets well, and she will stay there for good." + +Jane, she begins to take a little intrust then. + +"Did Estelle tell you so?" she asts. + +"No," says the perfessor. "Estelle doesn't know it yet. I'm going to +break the news to her in the morning." + +But Jane still hates him. She's making herself hate him hard. She +wouldn't of been a human woman if she had let herself be coaxed up all +to oncet. Purty soon she says: "I'm tired." And she went out looking +like the perfessor was a perfect stranger. She was a peace, Jane was. + +After she left, the perfessor set there quite a spell and smoked. And he +was looking tired out, too. They wasn't no mistake about me. I was jest +dead all through my legs. + + + + + +CHAPTER XII + + +I was down in the perfessor's labertory one day, and that was a queer +place. They was every kind of scientifics that has ever been discovered +in it. Some was pickled in bottles and some was stuffed and some was +pinned to the walls with their wings spread out. If you took hold of +anything, it was likely to be a skull and give you the shivers or some +electric contraption and shock you; and if you tipped over a jar and +it broke, enough germs might get loose to slaughter a hull town. I was +helping the perfessor to unpack a lot of stuff some friends had sent +him, and I noticed a bottle that had onto it, blowed in the glass: + + +DANIEL, DUNNE AND COMPANY + + + +"That's funny," says I, out loud. + +"What is?" asts the perfessor. + +I showed him the bottle and told him how I was named after the company +that made 'em. He says to look around me. They is all kinds of glassware +in that room--bottles and jars and queer-shaped things with crooked tails +and noses--and nigh every piece of glass the perfessor owns is made by +that company. + +"Why," says the perfessor, "their factory is in this very town." + +And nothing would do fur me but I must go and see that factory. I +couldn't till the quarantine was pried loose from our house. But when it +was, I went down town and hunted up the place and looked her over. + +It was a big factory, and I was kind of proud of that. I was glad she +wasn't no measly, little, old-fashioned, run-down concern. Of course, +I wasn't really no relation to it and it wasn't none to me. But I +was named fur it, too, and it come about as near to being a fambly as +anything I had ever had or was likely to find. So I was proud it seemed +to be doing so well. + +I thinks as I looks at her of the thousands and thousands of bottles +that has been coming out of there fur years and years, and will be +fur years and years to come. And one bottle not so much different from +another one. And all that was really knowed about me was jest the name +on one out of all them millions and millions of bottles. It made me feel +kind of queer, when I thought of that, as if I didn't have no separate +place in the world any more than one of them millions of bottles. If any +one will shut his eyes and say his own name over and over agin fur quite +a spell, he will get kind of wonderized and mesmerized a-doing it--he +will begin to wonder who the dickens he is, anyhow, and what he is, and +what the difference between him and the next feller is. He will wonder +why he happens to be himself and the next feller HIMSELF. He wonders +where himself leaves off and the rest of the world begins. I been that +way myself--all wonderized, so that I felt jest like I was a melting +piece of the hull creation, and it was all shifting and drifting and +changing and flowing, and not solid anywhere, and I could hardly keep +myself from flowing into it. It makes a person feel awful queer, like +seeing a ghost would. It makes him feel like HE wasn't no solider than +a ghost himself. Well, if you ever done that and got that feeling, you +KNOW what I mean. All of a sudden, when I am trying to take in all +them millions and millions of bottles, it rushed onto me, that feeling, +strong. Thinking of them bottles had somehow brung it on. The bigness +of the hull creation, and the smallness of me, and the gait at which +everything was racing and rushing ahead, made me want to grab hold of +something solid and hang on. + +I reached out my hand, and it hit something solid all right. It was +a feller who was wheeling out a hand truck loaded with boxes from the +shipping department. I had been standing by the shipping department +door, and I reached right agin him. + +He wants to know if I am drunk or a blanked fool. So after some talk +of that kind I borrows a chew of tobacco of him and we gets right well +acquainted. + +I helped him finish loading his wagon and rode over to the freight depot +with him and helped him unload her. Lifting one of them boxes down from +the wagon I got such a shock I like to of dropped her. + +Fur she was marked so many dozen, glass, handle with care, and she was +addressed to Dr. Hartley L. Kirby, Atlanta, Ga. + +I managed to get that box onto the platform without busting her, and +then I sets down on top of her awful weak. + +"What's the matter?" asts the feller I was with. + +"Nothing," says I. + +"You look sick," he says. And I WAS feeling that-a-way. + +"Mebby I do," says I, "and it's enough to shake a feller up to find a +dead man come to life sudden like this." + +"Great snakes, no!" says he, looking all around, "where?" + +But I didn't stop to chew the rag none. I left him right there, with his +mouth wide open, staring after me like I was crazy. Half a block away I +looked back and I seen him double over and slap his knee and laugh loud, +like he had hearn a big joke, but what he was laughing at I never knew. + +I was tickled. Tickled? Jest so tickled I was plumb foolish with it. The +doctor was alive after all--I kept saying it over and over to myself--he +hadn't drownded nor blowed away. And I was going to hunt him up. + +I had a little money. The perfessor had paid it to me. He had give me a +job helping take care of his hosses and things like that, and wanted me +to stay, and I had been thinking mebby I would fur a while. But not now! + +I calkelated I could grab a ride that very night that would put me into +Evansville the next morning. I figgered if I ketched a through freight +from there on the next night I might get where he was almost as quick as +them bottles did. + +I didn't think it was no use writing out my resignation fur the +perfessor. But I got quite a bit of grub from Biddy Malone to make a +start on, fur I didn't figger on spending no more money than I had to +on grub. She asts me a lot of questions, and I had to lie to her a +good deal, but I got the grub. And at ten that night I was in an empty +bumping along south, along with a cross-eyed feller named Looney Hogan +who happened to be travelling the same way. + +Riding on trains without paying fare ain't always the easy thing it +sounds. It is like a trade that has got to be learned. They is different +ways of doing it. I have done every way frequent, except one. That I +give up after trying her two, three times. That is riding the rods +down underneath the cars, with a piece of board put acrost 'em to lay +yourself on. + +I never want to go ANYWHERES agin bad enough to ride the rods. + +Because sometimes you arrive where you are going to partly smeared over +the trucks and in no condition fur to be made welcome to our city, as +Doctor Kirby would say. Sometimes you don't arrive. Every oncet in a +while you read a little piece in a newspaper about a man being found +alongside the tracks, considerable cut up, or laying right acrost them, +mebby. He is held in the morgue a while and no one knows who he is, and +none of the train crew knows they has run over a man, and the engineer +says they wasn't none on the track. More'n likely that feller has been +riding the rods, along about the middle of the train. Mebby he let +himself go to sleep and jest rolled off. Mebby his piece of board +slipped and he fell when the train jolted. Or mebby he jest natcherally +made up his mind he rather let loose and get squashed then get any more +cinders into his eyes. Riding the blind baggage or the bumpers gives me +all the excitement I wants, or all the gambling chancet either; others +can have the rods fur all of me. And they IS some people ackshally says +they likes 'em best. + +A good place, if it is winter time, is the feed rack over a cattle car, +fur the heat and steam from all them steers in there will keep you warm. +But don't crawl in no lumber car that is only loaded about half full, +and short lengths and bundles of laths and shingles in her; fur they +is likely to get to shifting and bumping. Baled hay is purty good +sometimes. Myself, not being like these bums that is too proud to +work, I have often helped the fireman shovel coal and paid fur my ride +that-a-way. But an empty, fur gineral purposes, will do about as well as +anything. + +This feller Looney Hogan that was with me was a kind of a harmless +critter, and he didn't know jest where he was going, nor why. He was +mostly scared of things, and if you spoke to him quick he shivered first +and then grinned idiotic so you wouldn't kick him, and when he talked +he had a silly little giggle. He had been made that-a-way in a reform +school where they took him young and tried to work the cussedness out'n +him by batting him around. They worked it out, and purty nigh everything +else along with it, I guess. Looney had had a pardner whose name was +Slim, he said; but a couple of years before Slim had fell overboard +off'n a barge up to Duluth and never come up agin. Looney knowed Slim +was drownded all right, but he was always travelling around looking +at tanks and freight depots and switch shanties, fur Slim's mark to be +fresh cut with a knife somewheres, so he would know where to foller and +ketch up with him agin. He knowed he would never find Slim's mark, he +said, but he kept a-looking, and he guessed that was the way he got the +name of Looney. + +Looney left me at Evansville. He said he was going east from there, he +guessed. And I went along south. But I was hindered considerable, being +put off of trains three or four times, and having to grab these here +slow local freights between towns all the way down through Kentuckey. +Anywheres south of the Ohio River and east of the Mississippi River +trainmen is grouchier to them they thinks is bums than north of it, +anyhow. And in some parts of it, if a real bum gets pinched, heaven help +'im, fur nothing else won't. + +One night, between twelve and one o'clock, I was put off of a freight +train fur the second time in a place in the northern part of Tennessee, +right near the Kentuckey line. I set down in a lumber yard near the +railroad track, and when she started up agin I grabbed onto the iron +ladder and swung myself aboard. But the brakeman was watching fur me, +and clumb down the ladder and stamped on my fingers. So I dropped off, +with one finger considerable mashed, and set down in that lumber yard +wondering what next. + +It was a dark night, and so fur as I could see they wasn't much moving +in that town. Only a few places was lit up. One was way acrost the town +square from me, and it was the telephone exchange, with a man operator +reading a book in there. The other was the telegraph room in the depot +about a hundred yards from me, and they was only two fellers in it, +both smoking. The main business part of the town was built up around the +square, like lots of old-fashioned towns is, and they was jest enough +brightness from four, five electric lights to show the shape of the +square and be reflected from the windows of the closed-up stores. + +I knowed they was likely a watchman somewheres about, too. I guessed +I wouldn't wander around none and run no chances of getting took up by +him. So I was getting ready to lay down on top of a level pile of boards +and go to sleep when I hearn a curious kind of noise a way off, like it +must be at the edge of town. + +It sounded like quite a bunch of cattle might shuffling along a dusty +road. The night was so quiet you could hear things plain from a long +ways off. It growed a little louder and a little nearer. And then it +struck a plank bridge somewheres, and come acrost it with a clatter. +Then I knowed it wasn't cattle. Cows and steers don't make that +cantering kind of noise as a rule; they trot. It was hosses crossing +that bridge. And they was quite a lot of 'em. + +As they struck the dirt road agin, I hearn a shot. And then another and +another. Then a dozen all to oncet, and away off through the night a +woman screamed. + +I seen the man in the telephone place fling down his book and grab a +pistol from I don't know where. He stepped out into the street and fired +three shots into the air as fast as he could pull the trigger. And as he +done so they was a light flashed out in a building way down the railroad +track, and shots come answering from there. Men's voices began to yell +out; they was the noise of people running along plank sidewalks, and +windows opening in the dark. Then with a rush the galloping noise come +nearer, come closet; raced by the place where I was hiding, and nigh +a hundred men with guns swept right into the middle of that square and +pulled their hosses up. + + + + + +CHAPTER XIII + + +I seen the feller from the telephone exchange run down the street a +little ways as the first rush hit the square, and fire his pistol twice. +Then he turned and made fur an alleyway, but as he turned they let him +have it. He throwed up his arms and made one long stagger, right acrost +the bar of light that streamed out of the windows, and he fell into the +shadder, out of sight, jest like a scorched moth drops dead into the +darkness from a torch. + +Out of the middle of that bunch of riders come a big voice, yelling +numbers, instead of men's names. Then different crowds lit out in all +directions--some on foot, while others held their hosses--fur they +seemed to have a plan laid ahead. + +And then things began to happen. They happened so quick and with such a +whirl it was all unreal to me--shots and shouts, and windows breaking as +they blazed away at the store fronts all around the square--and orders +and cuss-words ringing out between the noise of shooting--and those +electric lights shining on them as they tossed and trampled, and +showing up masked faces here and there--and pounding hoofs, and hosses +scream--like humans with excitement--and spurts of flame squirted sudden +out of the ring of darkness round about the open place--and a bull-dog +shut up in a store somewheres howling himself hoarse--and white puffs of +powder smoke like ghosts that went a-drifting by the lights--it was all +unreal to me, as if I had a fever and was dreaming it. That square was +like a great big stage in front of me, and I laid in the darkness on my +lumber pile and watched things like a show--not much scared because it +WAS so derned unreal. + +From way down along the railroad track they come a sort of blunted roar, +like blasting big stumps out--and then another and another. Purty soon, +down that way, a slim flame licked up the side of a big building there, +and crooked its tongue over the top. Then a second big building right +beside it ketched afire, and they both showed up in their own light, big +and angry and handsome, and the light showed up the men in front of 'em, +too--guarding 'em, I guess, fur fear the town would get its nerve and +make a fight to put 'em out. They begun to light the whole town up as +light as day, and paint a red patch onto the sky, that must of been +noticed fur miles around. It was a mighty purty sight to see 'em burn. +The smoke was rolling high, too, and the sparks flying and other things +in danger of ketching, and after while a lick of smoke come drifting up +my way. I smelt her. It was tobacco burning in them warehouses. + +But that town had some fight in her, in spite of being took unexpected +that-a-way. It wasn't no coward town. The light from the burning +buildings made all the shadders around about seem all the darker. And +every once in a while, after the surprise of the first rush, they would +come thin little streaks of fire out of the darkness somewheres, and the +sound of shots. And then a gang of riders would gallop in that direction +shooting up all creation. But by the time the warehouses was all lit up +so that you could see they was no hope of putting them out the shooting +from the darkness had jest about stopped. + +It looked like them big tobacco warehouses was the main object of the +raid. Fur when they was burning past all chancet of saving, with walls +and floors a-tumbling and crashing down and sending up great gouts of +fresh flame as they fell, the leader sings out an order, and all that is +not on their hosses jumps on, and they rides away from the blaze. They +come across the square--not galloping now, but taking it easy, laughing +and talking and cussing and joking each other--and passed right by my +lumber pile agin and down the street they had come. You bet I laid low +on them boards while they was going by, and flattened myself out till I +felt like a shingle. + +As I hearn their hoof-sounds getting farther off, I lifts up my head +agin. But they wasn't all gone, either. Three that must of been up to +some pertic'ler deviltry of their own come galloping acrost the square +to ketch up with the main bunch. Two was quite a bit ahead of the third +one, and he yelled to them to wait. But they only laughed and rode +harder. + +And then fur some fool reason that last feller pulled up his hoss and +stopped. He stopped in the road right in front of me, and wheeled his +hoss acrost the road and stood up in his stirrups and took a long look +at that blaze. You'd 'a' said he had done it all himself and was mighty +proud of it, the way he raised his head and looked back at that town. He +was so near that I hearn him draw in a slow, deep breath. He stood still +fur most a minute like that, black agin the red sky, and then he turned +his hoss's head and jabbed him with his stirrup edge. + +Jest as the hoss started they come a shot from somewheres behind me. +I s'pose they was some one hid in the lumber piles, where the street +crossed the railway, besides myself. The hoss jumped forward at the +shot, and the feller swayed sideways and dropped his gun and lost his +stirrups and come down heavy on the ground. His hoss galloped off. I +heard the noise of some one running off through the dark, and stumbling +agin the lumber. It was the feller who had fired the shot running away. +I suppose he thought the rest of them riders would come back, when they +heard that shot, and hunt him down. + +I thought they might myself. But I laid there, and jest waited. If they +come, I didn't want to be found running. But they didn't come. The two +last ones had caught up with the main gang, I guess, fur purty soon +I hearn them all crossing that plank bridge agin, and knowed they was +gone. + +At first I guessed the feller on the ground must be dead. But he wasn't, +fur purty soon I hearn him groan. He had mebby been stunned by his fall, +and was coming to enough to feel his pain. + +I didn't feel like he orter be left there. So I clumb down and went over +to him. He was lying on one side all kind of huddled up. There had +been a mask on his face, like the rest of them, with some hair onto the +bottom of it to look like a beard. But now it had slipped down till it +hung loose around his neck by the string. They was enough light to see +he wasn't nothing but a young feller. He raised himself slow as I come +near him, leaning on one arm and trying to set up. The other arm hung +loose and helpless. Half setting up that-away he made a feel at his belt +with his good hand, as I come near. But that good arm was his prop, and +when he took it off the ground he fell back. His hand come away empty +from his belt. + +The big six-shooter he had been feeling fur wasn't in its holster, +anyhow. It had fell out when he tumbled. I picked it up in the road +jest a few feet from his shot-gun, and stood there with it in my hand, +looking down at him. + +"Well," he says, in a drawly kind of voice, slow and feeble, but looking +at me steady and trying to raise himself agin, "yo' can finish yo' +little job now--yo' shot me from the darkness, and now yo' done got my +pistol. I reckon yo' better shoot AGIN." + +"I don't want to rub it in none," I says, "with you down and out, but +from what I seen around this town to-night I guess you and your own gang +got no GREAT objections to shooting from the dark yourselves." + +"Why don't yo' shoot then?" he says. "It most suttinly is YO' turn now." +And he never batted an eye. + +"Bo," I says, "you got nerve. I LIKE you, Bo. I didn't shoot you, and I +ain't going to. The feller that did has went. I'm going to get you out +of this. Where you hurt?" + +"Hip," he says, "but that ain't much. The thing that bothers me is this +arm. It's done busted. I fell on it." + +I drug him out of the road and back of the lumber pile I had been laying +on, and hurt him considerable a-doing it. + +"Now," I says, "what can I do fur you?" + +"I reckon yo' better leave me," he says, "without yo' want to get +yo'self mixed up in all this." + +"If I do," I says, "you may bleed to death here: or anyway you would get +found in the morning and be run in." + +"Yo' mighty good to me," says he, "considering yo' are no kin to this +here part of the country at all. I reckon by yo' talk yo' are one of +them damn Yankees, ain't yo'?" + +In Illinoise a Yankee is some one from the East, but down South he is +anybody from north of the Ohio, and though that there war was fought +forty years ago some of them fellers down there don't know damn and +Yankee is two words yet. But shucks!--they don't mean no harm by it! So +I tells him I am a damn Yankee and asts him agin if I can do anything +fur him. + +"Yes," he says, "yo' can tell a friend of mine Bud Davis has happened +to an accident, and get him over here quick with his wagon to tote me +home." + +I was to go down the railroad track past them burning warehouses till +I come to the third street, and then turn to my left. "The third house +from the track has got an iron picket fence in front of it," says Bud, +"and it's the only house in that part of town which has. Beauregard +Peoples lives there. He is kin to me." + +"Yes," I says, "and Beauregard is jest as likely as not going to take a +shot out of the front window at me, fur luck, afore I can tell him what +I want. It seems to be a kind of habit in these here parts to-night--I'm +getting homesick fur Illinoise. But I'll take a chancet." + +"He won't shoot," says Bud, "if yo' go about it right. Beauregard ain't +going to be asleep with all this going on in town to-night. Yo' rattle +on the iron gate and he'll holler to know what yo' all want." + +"If he don't shoot first," I says. + +"When he hollers, yo' cry back at him yo' have found his OLD DEAD HOSS +in the road. It won't hurt to holler that loud, and that will make him +let you within talking distance." + +"His old DEAD HOSS?" + +"Yo' don't need to know what that is. HE will." And then Bud told +me enough of the signs and words to say, and things to do, to keep +Beauregard from shooting--he said he reckoned he had trusted me so much +he might as well go the hull hog. Beauregard, he says, belongs to them +riders too; they have friends in all the towns that watches the lay of +the land fur them, he says. + +I made a long half-circle around them burning buildings, keeping in the +dark, fur people was coming out in bunches, now that it was all over +with, watching them fires burning, and talking excited, and saying the +riders should be follered--only not follering. + +I found the house Bud meant, and they was a light in the second-story +window. I rattled on the gate. A dog barked somewheres near, but I hearn +his chain jangle and knowed he was fast, and I rattled on the gate agin. + +The light moved away from the window. Then another front window opened +quiet, and a voice says: + +"Doctor, is that yo' back agin?" + +"No," I says, "I ain't a doctor." + +"Stay where you are, then. _I_ GOT YOU COVERED." + +"I am staying," I says, "don't shoot." + +"Who are yo'?" + +"A feller," I says, kind of sensing his gun through the darkness as I +spoke, "who has found your OLD DEAD HOSS in the road." + +He didn't answer fur several minutes. Then he says, using the words DEAD +HOSS as Bud had said he would. + +"A DEAD HOSS is fitten fo' nothing but to skin." + +"Well," I says, using the words fur the third time, as instructed, "it +is a DEAD HOSS all right." + +I hearn the window shut and purty soon the front door opened. + +"Come up here," he says. I come. + +"Who rode that hoss yo' been talking about?" he asts. + +"One of the SILENT BRIGADE," I tells him, as Bud had told me to say. I +give him the grip Bud had showed me with his good hand. + +"Come on in," he says. + +He shut the door behind us and lighted a lamp agin. And we looked each +other over. He was a scrawny little feller, with little gray eyes set +near together, and some sandy-complected whiskers on his chin. I told +him about Bud, and what his fix was. + +"Damn it--oh, damn it all," he says, rubbing the bridge of his nose, "I +don't see how on AIRTH I kin do it. My wife's jest had a baby. Do yo' +hear that?" + +And I did hear a sound like kittens mewing, somewheres up stairs. +Beauregard, he grinned and rubbed his nose some more, and looked at me +like he thought that mewing noise was the smartest sound that ever was +made. + +"Boy," he says, grinning, "bo'n five hours ago. I've done named him +Burley--after the tobaccer association, yo' know. Yes, SIR, Burley +Peoples is his name--and he shore kin squall, the derned little cuss!" + +"Yes," I says, "you better stay with Burley. Lend me a rig of some sort +and I'll take Bud home." + +So we went out to Beauregard's stable with a lantern and hitched up one +of his hosses to a light road wagon. He went into the house and come +back agin with a mattress fur Bud to lie on, and a part of a bottle of +whiskey. And I drove back to that lumber pile. I guess I nearly killed +Bud getting him into there. But he wasn't bleeding much from his hip--it +was his arm was giving him fits. + +We went slow, and the dawn broke with us four miles out of town. It was +broad daylight, and early morning noises stirring everywheres, when we +drove up in front of an old farmhouse, with big brick chimbleys built on +the outside of it, a couple of miles farther on. + + + + + +CHAPTER XIV + + +As I drove into the yard, a bare-headed old nigger with a game leg +throwed down an armful of wood he was gathering and went limping up +to the veranda as fast as he could. He opened the door and bawled out, +pointing to us, before he had it fairly open: + +"O Marse WILLyum! O Miss LUCY! Dey've brung him home! DAR he!" + +A little, bright, black-eyed old lady like a wren comes running out of +the house, and chirps: + +"O Bud--O my honey boy! Is he dead?" + +"I reckon not, Miss Lucy," says Bud raising himself up on the mattress +as she runs up to the wagon, and trying to act like everything was all +a joke. She was jest high enough to kiss him over the edge of the wagon +box. A worried-looking old gentleman come out the door, seen Bud and his +mother kissing each other, and then says to the old nigger man: + +"George, yo' old fool, what do yo' mean by shouting out like that?" + +"Marse Willyum--" begins George, explaining. + +"Shut up," says the old gentleman, very quiet. "Take the bay mare and go +for Doctor Po'ter." Then he comes to the wagon and says: + +"So they got yo', Bud? Yo' WOULD go nightriding like a rowdy and a thug! +Are yo' much hurt?" + +He said it easy and gentle, more than mad. But Bud, he flushed up, pale +as he was, and didn't answer his dad direct. He turned to his mother and +said: + +"Miss Lucy, dear, it would 'a' done yo' heart good to see the way them +trust warehouses blazed up!" + +And the old lady, smiling and crying both to oncet, says, "God bless her +brave boy." But the old gentleman looked mighty serious, and his worry +settled into a frown between his eyes, and he turns to me and says: + +"Yo' must pardon us, sir, fo' neglecting to thank yo' sooner." I told +him that would be all right, fur him not to worry none. And him and me +and Mandy, which was the nigger cook, got Bud into the house and into +his bed. And his mother gets that busy ordering Mandy and the old +gentleman around, to get things and fix things, and make Bud as easy +as she could, that you could see she was one of them kind of woman that +gets a lot of satisfaction out of having some one sick to fuss over. And +after quite a while George gets back with Doctor Porter. + +He sets Bud's arm, and he locates the bullet in him, and he says he +guesses he'll do in a few weeks if nothing like blood poisoning nor +gangrene nor inflammation sets in. + +Only the doctor says he "reckons" instead of he "guesses," which they +all do down there. And they all had them easy-going, wait-a-bit kind +of voices, and didn't see no pertic'ler importance in their "r's." It +wasn't that you could spell it no different when they talked, but it +sounded different. + +I eat my breakfast with the old gentleman, and then I took a sleep until +time fur dinner. They wouldn't hear of me leaving that night. I fully +intended to go on the next day, but before I knowed it I been there a +couple of days, and have got very well acquainted with that fambly. + +Well, that was a house divided agin itself. Miss Lucy, she is awful +favourable to all this nightrider business. She spunks up and her eyes +sparkles whenever she thinks about that there tobaccer trust. + +She would of like to been a night-rider herself. But the old man, he +says law and order is the main pint. What the country needs, he says, +ain't burning down tobaccer warehouses, and shooting your neighbours, +and licking them with switches, fur no wrong done never righted another +wrong. + +"But you were in the Ku Klux Klan yo'self," says Miss Lucy. + +The old man says the Ku Kluxes was working fur a principle--the +principle of keeping the white supremacy on top of the nigger race. Fur +if you let 'em quit work and go around balloting and voting it won't +do. It makes 'em biggity. And a biggity nigger is laying up trouble fur +himself. Because sooner or later he will get to thinking he is as good +as one of these here Angle-Saxtons you are always hearing so much talk +about down South. And if the Angle-Saxtons was to stand fur that, purty +soon they would be sociable equality. And next the hull dern country +would be niggerized. Them there Angle-Saxtons, that come over from +Ireland and Scotland and France and the Great British Islands and +settled up the South jest simply couldn't afford to let that happen, he +says, and so they Ku Kluxed the niggers to make 'em quit voting. It was +THEIR job to MAKE law and order, he says, which they couldn't be with +niggers getting the idea they had a right to govern. So they Ku Kluxed +'em like gentlemen. But these here night-riders, he says, is AGIN law +and order--they can shoot up more law and order in one night than can be +manufactured agin in ten years. He was a very quiet, peaceable old man, +Mr. Davis was, and Bud says he was so dern foolish about law and order +he had to up and shoot a man, about fifteen years ago, who hearn him +talking that-a-way and said he reminded him of a Boston school teacher. + +But Miss Lucy and Bud, they tells me what all them night-ridings is +fur. It seems this here tobaccer trust is jest as mean and low-down and +unprincipled as all the rest of them trusts. The farmers around there +raised considerable tobaccer--more'n they did of anything else. The +trust had shoved the price so low they couldn't hardly make a living. +So they organized and said they would all hold their tobaccer fur a fair +price. But some of the farmers wouldn't organize--said they had a right +to do what they pleased with their own tobaccer. So the night-riders was +formed to burn their barns and ruin their crops and whip 'em and shoot +'em and make 'em jine. And also to burn a few trust warehouses now and +then, and show 'em this free American people, composed mainly out of the +Angle-Saxton races, wasn't going to take no sass from anybody. + +An old feller by the name of Rufe Daniels who wouldn't jine the +night-riders had been shot to death on his own door step, jest about a +mile away, only a week or so before. The night-riders mostly used these +here automatic shot-guns, but they didn't bother with birdshot. They +mostly loaded their shells with buckshot. A few bicycle ball bearings +dropped out of old Rufe when they gathered him up and got him into shape +to plant. They is always some low-down cuss in every crowd that carries +things to the point where they get brutal, Bud says; and he feels like +them bicycle bearings was going a little too fur, though he wouldn't let +on to his dad that he felt that-a-way. + +So fur as I could see they hadn't hurt the trust none to speak of, them +night-riders. But they had done considerable damage to their own county, +fur folks was moving away, and the price of land had fell. Still, I +guess they must of got considerable satisfaction out of raising the +deuce nights that-away; and sometimes that is worth a hull lot to a +feller. As fur as I could make out both the trust and the night-riders +was in the wrong. But, you take 'em one at a time, personal-like, and +not into a gang, and most of them night-riders is good-dispositioned +folks. I never knowed any trusts personal, but mebby if you could ketch +'em the same way they would be similar. + +I asts George one day what he thought about it. George, he got mighty +serious right off, like he felt his answer was going to be used to +decide the hull thing by. He was carrying a lot of scraps on a plate to +a hound dog that had a kennel out near George's cabin, and he walled his +eyes right thoughtful, and scratched his head with the fork he had been +scraping the plate with, but fur a while nothing come of it. Finally +George says: + +"I'se 'spec' mah jedgment des about de same as Marse WILLyum's an' Miss +LUCY's. I'se notice hit mos' ingin'lly am de same." + +"That can't be, George," says I, "fur they think different ways." + +"Den if DAT am de case," says George, "dey ain't NO ONE kin settle hit +twell hit settles hitse'f. + +"I'se mos' ingin'lly notice a thing DO settle hitse'f arter a while. +Yass, SAH, I'se notice dat! Long time ago dey was consid'ble gwines-on +in dis hyah county, Marse Daniel. I dunno ef yo' evah heah 'bout dat o' +not, Marse Daniel, but dey was a wah fit right hyah in dis hyah county. +Such gwines-on as nevah was--dem dar Yankees a-ridin' aroun' an' eatin' +up de face o' de yearth, like de plagues o' Pha'aoah, Marse Daniel, and +rippin' and rarin' an' racin' an' stealin' evehything dey could lay +dey han's on, Marse Daniel. An' ouah folks a-ridin' and a racin' and +projickin' aroun' in de same onsettled way. + +"Marse Willyum, he 'low HE gwine settle dat dar wah he-se'f--yass, SAH! +An' he got on he hoss, and he ride away an' jine Marse Jeb Stuart. But +dey don' settle hit. Marse Ab'ham Linkum, he 'low HE gwine settle hit, +an' sen' millyums an' millyums mo' o' dem Yankees down hyah, Marse +Daniel. But dey des ONsettle hit wuss'n evah! But arter a while it des +settle HITse'f. + + "An' den freedom broke out among de niggers, +and dey was mo' gwines-ON, an' talkin', an' some on 'em 'lowed dey was +gwine ter be no mo' wohk, Marse Daniel. But arter a while dat settle +HITse'f, and dey all went back to wohk agin. Den some on de niggers +gits de notion, Marse Daniel, dey gwine foh to VOTE. An' dey was mo' +gwines-on, an' de Ku Kluxes come a projickin' aroun' nights, like de +grave-yahds done been resu'rected, Marse Daniel, an' den arter a while +dat trouble settle HITse'f. + +"Den arter de Ku Kluxes dey was de time Miss Lucy Buckner gwine ter mahy +Marse Prent McMakin. An' she don' want to ma'hy him, if dey give her her +druthers about hit. But Ol' Marse Kunnel Hampton, her gram-pa, and her +aunt, MY Miss Lucy hyah, dey ain't gwine give her no druthers. And dey +was mo' gwines-ON. But dat settle HITse'f, too." + +George, he begins to chuckle, and I ast him how. + +"Yass, SAH, dat settle HITse'f. But I 'spec' Miss Lucy Buckner done he'p +some in de settleMENT. Foh de day befoh de weddin' was gwine ter be, +she ups an' she runs off wid a Yankee frien' of her brother, Kunnel Tom +Buckner. An' I'se 'spec' Kunnel Tom an' Marse Prent McMakin would o' +settle' HIM ef dey evah had o' cotched him--dat dar David Ahmstrong!" + +"Who?" says I. + +"David Ahmstrong was his entitlement," says George, "an' he been gwine +to de same college as Marse Tom Buckner, up no'th somewhah. Dat's +how-come he been visitin' Marse Tom des befoh de weddin' trouble done +settle HIT se'f dat-away." + +Well, it give me quite a turn to run onto the mention of that there +David Armstrong agin in this part of the country. Here he had been +jilting Miss Hampton way up in Indiany, and running away with another +girl down here in Tennessee. Then it struck me mebby it is jest +different parts of the same story I been hearing of, and Martha had got +her part a little wrong. + +"George," I says, "what did you say Miss Lucy Buckner's gran-dad's name +was?" + +"Kunnel Hampton--des de same as MY Miss Lucy befo' SHE done ma'hied +Marse Willyum." + +That made me sure of it. It was the same woman. She had run away with +David Armstrong from this here same neighbourhood. Then after he got +her up North he had left her--or her left him. And then she wasn't +Miss Buckner no longer. And she was mad and wouldn't call herself Mrs. +Armstrong. So she moved away from where any one was lible to trace her +to, and took her mother's maiden name, which was Hampton. + +"Well," I says, "what ever become of 'em after they run off, George?" + +But George has told about all he knows. They went North, according to +what everybody thinks, he says. Prent McMakin, he follered and hunted. +And Col. Tom Buckner, he done the same. Fur about a year Colonel Tom, +he was always making trips away from there to the North. But whether he +ever got any track of his sister and that David Armstrong nobody knowed. +Nobody never asked him. Old Colonel Hampton, he grieved and he grieved, +and not long after the runaway he up and died. And Tom Buckner, he +finally sold all he owned in that part of the country and moved further +south. George said he didn't rightly know whether it was Alabama or +Florida. Or it might of been Georgia. + +I thinks to myself that mebby Mrs. Davis would like to know where her +niece is, and that I better tell her about Miss Hampton being in that +there little Indiany town, and where it is. And then I thinks to myself +I better not butt in. Fur Miss Hampton has likely got her own reasons +fur keeping away from her folks, or else she wouldn't do it. Anyhow, +it's none of MY affair to bring the subject up to 'em. It looks to +me like one of them things George has been gassing about--one of them +things that has settled itself, and it ain't fur me to meddle and +unsettle it. + +It set me to thinking about Martha, too. Not that I hadn't thought of +her lots of times. I had often thought I would write her. But I kept +putting it off, and purty soon I kind of forgot Martha. I had seen a lot +of different girls of all kinds since I had seen Martha. Yet, whenever +I happened to think of Martha, I had always liked her best. Only moving +around the country so much makes it kind of hard to keep thinking steady +of the same girl. Besides, I had lost that there half of a ring, too. + +But knowing what I did now about Miss Hampton being Miss Buckner--or +Mrs. Armstrong--and related to these Davises made me want to get away +from there. Fur that secret made me feel kind of sneaking, like I wasn't +being frank and open with them. Yet if I had of told 'em I would of felt +sneakinger yet fur giving Miss Hampton away. I never got into a mix up +that-a-way betwixt my conscience and my duty but what it made me feel +awful uncomfortable. So I guessed I would light out from there. They +wasn't never no kinder, better people than them Davises, either. They +was so pleased with my bringing Bud home the night he was shot they +would of jest natcherally give me half their farm if I had of ast them +fur it. They wanted me to stay there--they didn't say fur how long, and +I guess they didn't give a dern. But I was in a sweat to ketch up with +Doctor Kirby agin. + + + + + +CHAPTER XV + + +I made purty good time, and in a couple of days I was in Atlanta. I +knowed the doctor must of gone back into some branch of the medicine +game--the bottles told me that. I knowed it must be something that he +needed some special kind of bottles fur, too, or he wouldn't of had them +shipped all that distance, but would of bought them nearer. I seen I was +a dern fool fur rushing off and not inquiring what kind of bottles, so I +could trace what he was into easier. + +It's hard work looking fur a man in a good-sized town. I hung around +hotel lobbies and places till I was tired of it, thinking he might +come in. And I looked through all the office buildings and read all the +advertisements in the papers. Then the second day I was there the state +fair started up and I went out to it. + +I run acrost a couple I knowed out there the first thing--it was Watty +and the snake-charmer woman. Only she wasn't charming them now. Her and +Watty had a Parisian Models' show. I ast Watty where Dolly was. He says +he don't know, that Dolly has quit him. By which I guess he means he has +quit her. I ast where Reginald is, and the Human Ostrich. But from +the way they answered my questions I seen I wasn't welcome none around +there. I suppose that Mrs. Ostrich and Watty had met up agin somewheres, +and had jest natcherally run off with each other and left their +famblies. Like as not she had left poor old Reginald with that idiotic +ostrich feller to sell to strangers that didn't know his disposition. Or +mebby by now Reginald was turned loose in the open country to shift +fur himself, among wild snakes that never had no human education nor +experience; and what chancet would a friendly snake like Reginald have +in a gang like that? Some women has jest simply got no conscience at all +about their husbands and famblies, and that there Mrs. Ostrich was one +of 'em. + +Well, a feller can be a derned fool sometimes. Fur all my looking around +I wasted a lot of time before I thought of going to the one natcheral +place--the freight depot of the road them bottles had been shipped by. +I had lost a week coming down. But freight often loses more time than +that. And it was at the freight depot that I found him. + +Tickled? Well, yes! Both of us. + +"Well, by George," says he, "you're good for sore eyes." + +Before he told me how he happened not to of drownded or blowed away or +anything he says we better fix up a bit. Which he meant I better. So he +buys me duds from head to heel, and we goes to a Turkish bath place and +I puts 'em on. And then we goes and eats. Hearty. + +"Now," he says, "Fido Cut-up, how did you find me?"* + +I told him about the bottles. + +"A dead loss, those bottles," he says. "I wanted some non-refillable +ones for a little scheme I had in mind, and I had to get them at a +certain place--and now the scheme's up in the air and I can't use 'em." + +The doctor had changed some in looks in the year or more that had passed +since I saw him floating away in that balloon. And not fur the better. +He told me how he had blowed clean acrost Lake Erie in that there +balloon. And then when he got over land agin and went to pull the +cord that lets the parachute loose it wouldn't work at first. He jest +natcherally drifted on into the midst of nowhere, he said--miles and +miles into Canada. When he lit the balloon had lost so much gas and was +flying so low that the parachute didn't open out quick enough to do +much floating. So he lit hard, and come near being knocked out fur good. +But-- + + + *AUTHOR'S NOTE--Can it be that Danny struggles vaguely + to report some reference to FIDUS ACHATES? + +that wasn't the worst of it, fur the exposure had crawled into his lungs +by the time he found a house, and he got newmonia into them also, and +like to of died. Whilst I was laying sick he had been sick also, only +his'n lasted much longer. + +But he tells me he has jest struck an idea fur a big scheme. No little +schemes go fur him any more, he says. He wants money. Real money. + +"How you going to get it?" I asts him. + +"Come along and I'll tell you," he says. "We'll take a walk, and I'll +show you how I got my idea." + +We left the restaurant and went along the brag street of that town, +which it is awful proud of, past where the stores stops and the houses +begins. We come to a fine-looking house on a corner--a swell place it +was, with lots of palms and ferns and plants setting on the verandah +and showing through the windows. And stables back of it; and back of +the stables a big yard with noises coming from it like they was circus +animals there. Which I found out later they really was, kept fur pets. +You could tell the people that lived there had money. + +"This," says Doctor Kirby, as we walked by, "is the house that Jackson +built. Dr. Julius Jackson--OLD Doctor Jackson, the man with an idea! The +idea made all the money you smell around here." + +"What idea?" + +"The idea--the glorious humanitarian and philanthropic idea--of taking +the kinks and curls out of the hair of the Afro-American brother," says +Doctor Kirby, "at so much per kink." + +This Doctor Jackson, he says, sells what he calls Anti-Curl to the +niggers. It is to straighten out their hair so it will look like white +people's hair. They is millions and millions of niggers, and every +nigger has millions and millions of kinks, and so Doctor Jackson has +got rich at it. So rich he can afford to keep that there personal circus +menagerie in his back yard, for his little boy to play with, and many +other interesting things. He must be worth two, three million dollars, +Doctor Kirby says, and still a-making it, with more niggers growing up +all the time fur to have their hair unkinked. Especially mulattoes +and yaller niggers. Doctor Kirby says thinking what a great idea that +Anti-Curl was give him his own great idea. They is a gold mine there, he +says, and Dr. Julius Jackson has only scratched a little off the top of +it, but HE is going to dig deeper. + +"Why is it that the Afro-American brother buys Anti-Curl?" he asts. + +"Why?" I asts. + +"Because," he says, "he wants to be as much like a white man as he +possibly can. He strives to burst his birth's invidious bar, Danny. +They talk about progress and education for the Afro-American brother, and +uplift and advancement and industrial education and manual training +and all that sort of thing. Especially we Northerners. But what the +Afro-American brother thinks about and dreams about and longs for and +prays to be--when he thinks at all--is to be white. Education, to his +mind, is learning to talk like a white man. Progress means aping the +white man. Religion is dying and going to heaven and being a WHITE +angel--listen to his prayers and sermons and you'll find that out. He'll +do anything he can, or give anything he can get his Ethiopian grubhooks +on, for something that he thinks is going to make him more like a white +man. Poor devil! Therefore the millions of Doctor Jackson Anti-Curl. + +"All this Doctor Jackson Anti-Curl has discovered and thought out and +acted upon. If he had gone just one step farther the Afro-American +brother would have hailed him as a greater man than Abraham Lincoln, +or either of the Washingtons, George or Booker. It remains for me, +Danny--for US--to carry the torch ahead--to take up the work where the +imagination of Doctor Jackson Anti-Curl has laid it down." + +"How?" asts I. + +"WE'LL PUT UP AND SELL A PREPARATION TO TURN THE NEGROES WHITE!" + +THAT was his great idea. He was more excited over it than I ever seen +him before about anything. + +It sounded like so easy a way to get rich it made me wonder why no one +had ever done it before, if it could really be worked. I didn't believe +much it could be worked. + +But Doctor Kirby, he says he has begun his experiments already, with +arsenic. Arsenic, he says, will bleach anything. Only he is kind of +afraid of arsenic, too. If he could only get hold of something that +didn't cost much, and that would whiten them up fur a little while, he +says, it wouldn't make no difference if they did get black agin. This +here Anti-Curl stuff works like that--it takes the kinks out fur a +little while, and they come back agin. But that don't seem to hurt the +sale none. It only calls fur MORE of Doctor Jackson's medicine. + +The doctor takes me around to the place he boards at, and shows me a +nigger waiter he has been experimenting on. He had paid the nigger's +fine in a police court fur slashing another nigger some with a knife, +and kept him from going into the chain-gang. So the nigger agreed he +could use his hide to try different kinds of medicines on. He was a +velvety-looking, chocolate-coloured kind of nigger to start with, and +the best Doctor Kirby had been able to do so fur was to make a few +little liver-coloured spots come onto him. But it was making the nigger +sick, and the doctor was afraid to go too fur with it, fur Sam might die +and we would be at the expense of another nigger. Peroxide of hidergin +hadn't even phased him. Nor a lot of other things we tried onto him. + +You never seen a nigger with his colour running into him so deep as +Sam's did. Sam, he was always apologizing about it, too. You could see +it made him feel real bad to think his colour was so stubborn. He felt +like it wasn't being polite to the doctor and me, Sam did, fur his skin +to act that-a-way. He was a willing nigger, Sam was. The doctor, he says +he will find out the right stuff if he has to start at the letter A and +work Sam through every drug in the hull blame alphabet down to Z. + +Which he finally struck it. I don't exactly know what she had in her, +but she was a mixture of some kind. The only trouble with her was she +didn't work equal and even--left Sam's face looking peeled and spotty in +places. But still, in them spots, Sam was six shades lighter. +The doctor says that is jest what he wants, that there +passing on-to-the-next-cage-we-have-the-spotted-girocutus-look, as he +calls it. The chocolate brown and the lighter spots side by side, he +says, made a regular Before and After out of Sam's face, and was the +best advertisement you could have. + +Then we goes and has a talk with Doctor Jackson himself. Doctor Kirby +has the idea mebby he will put some money into it. Doctor Jackson was +setting on his front veranda with his chair tilted back, and his feet, +with red carpet slippers on 'em, was on the railing, and he was smoking +one of these long black cigars that comes each one in a little glass +tube all by itself. He looks Sam over very thoughtful, and he says: + +"Yes, it will do the work well enough. I can see that. But will it +sell?" + +Doctor Kirby makes him quite a speech. I never hearn him make a better +one. Doctor Jackson he listens very calm, with his thumbs in the +armholes of his vest, and moving his eyebrows up and down like he +enjoyed it. But he don't get excited none. Finally Doctor Kirby says he +will undertake to show that it will sell--me and him will take a trip +down into the black country ourselves and show what can be done with it, +and take Sam along fur an object lesson. + +Well, they was a lot of rag-chewing. Doctor Jackson don't warm up none, +and he asts a million questions. Like how much it costs a bottle to make +it, and what was our idea how much it orter sell fur. He says finally +if we can sell a certain number of bottles in so long a time he will put +some money into it. Only, he says, they will be a stock company, and he +will have to have fifty-one per cent. of the stock, or he won't put no +money into it. He says if things go well he will let Doctor Kirby be +manager of that company, and let him have some stock in it too, and he +will be president and treasurer of it himself. + +Doctor Kirby, he didn't like that, and said so. Said HE was going to +organize that stock company, and control it himself. But Doctor Jackson +said he never put money into nothing he couldn't run. So it was settled +we would give the stuff a try-out and report to him. Before we went away +from there it looked to me like Doctor Kirby and me was going to work +fur this here Doctor Jackson, instead of making all them there millions +fur ourselves. Which I didn't take much to that Anti-Curl man myself; he +was so cold-blooded like. + +I didn't like the scheme itself any too well, neither. Not any way you +could look at it. In the first place it seemed like a mean trick on the +niggers. Then I didn't much believe we could get away with it. + +The more I looked him over the more I seen Doctor Kirby had changed +considerable. When I first knowed him he liked to hear himself talking +and he liked to live free and easy and he liked to be running around +the country and all them things, more'n he liked to be making money. +Of course, he wanted it; but that wasn't the ONLY thing he was into the +Sagraw game fur. If he had money, he was free with it and would help +most any one out of a hole. But he wasn't thinking it and talking it all +the time then. + +But now he was thinking money and dreaming money and talking of nothing +but how to get it. And planning to make it out of skinning them niggers. +He didn't care a dern how he worked on their feelings to get it. He +didn't even seem to care whether he killed Sam trying them drugs onto +him. He wanted MONEY, and he wanted it so bad he was ready and willing +to take up with most any wild scheme to make it. + +They was something about him now that didn't fit in much with the Doctor +Kirby I had knowed. It seemed like he had spells when he saw himself how +he had changed. He wasn't gay and joking all the time like he had been +before, neither. I guess the doctor was getting along toward fifty years +old. I suppose he thought if he was ever going to get anything out of +his gift of the gab he better settle down to something, and quit fooling +around, and do it right away. But it looked to me like he might never +turn the trick. Fur he was drinking right smart all the time. Drinking +made him think a lot, and thinking was making him look old. He was +more'n one year older than he had been a year ago. + +He kept a quart bottle in his room now. The night after we had took Sam +to see Doctor Jackson we was setting in his room, and he was hitting it +purty hard. + +"Danny," he says to me, after a while, like he was talking out loud to +himself too, "what did you think of Doctor Jackson?" + +"I don't like him much," I says. + +"Nor I," he says, frowning, and takes a drink. Then he says, after quite +a few minutes of frowning and thinking, under his breath like: "He's a +blame sight more decent than I am, for all of that." + +"Why?" I asts him. + +"Because Doctor Jackson," he says, "hasn't the least idea that he ISN'T +decent, and getting his money in a decent way. While at one time I +was--" + +He breaks off and don't say what he was. I asts him. "I was going to +say a gentleman," he says, "but on reflection, I doubt if I was ever +anything but a cheap imitation. I never heard a man say that he was +a gentleman at one time, that I didn't doubt him. Also," he goes on, +working himself into a better humour again with the sound of his own +voice, "if I HAD ever been a gentleman at any time, enough of it would +surely have stuck to me to keep me out of partnership with a man who +cheats niggers." + +He takes another drink and says even twenty years of running around the +country couldn't of took all the gentleman out of him like this, if he +had ever been one, fur you can break, you can scatter the vase if you +will, but the smell of the roses will stick round it still. + +I seen now the kind of conversations he is always having with himself +when he gets jest so drunk and is thinking hard. Only this time it +happens to be out loud. + +"What is a gentleman?" I asts him, thinking if he wasn't one it might +take his mind off himself a little to tell me. "What MAKES one?" + +"Authorities differ," says Doctor Kirby, slouching down in his chair, +and grinning like he knowed a joke he wasn't going to tell no one. "I +heard Doctor Jackson describe himself that way the other day." + +Well, speaking personal, I never had smelled none of roses. I wasn't +nothing but trash myself, so being a gentleman didn't bother me one way +or the other. The only reason I didn't want to see them niggers bunked +so very bad was only jest because it was such a low-down, ornery kind of +trick. + +"It ain't too late," I says, "to pull out of this nigger scheme yet and +get into something more honest." + +"I don't know," he says thoughtful. "I think perhaps it IS too late." +And he sets there looking like a man that is going over a good many +years of life in his mind. Purty soon he says: + +"As far as honesty goes--it isn't that so much, O +Daniel-come-to-judgment! It's about as honest as most medicine games. +It's--" He stopped and frowned agin. + +"What is it?" + +"It's their being NIGGERS," he says. + +That made the difference fur me, too. I dunno how, nor why. + +"I've tried nearly everything but blackmail," he says, "and I'll +probably be trying that by this time next year, if this scheme fails. +But there's something about their being niggers that makes me sick of +this thing already--just as the time has come to make the start. And +I don't know WHY it should, either." He slipped another big slug of +whiskey into him, and purty soon he asts me: + +"Do you know what's the matter with me?" + +I asts him what. + +"I'm too decent to be a crook," he says, "and too crooked to be decent. +You've got to be one thing or the other steady to make it pay." + +Then he says: + +"Did you ever hear of the descent to Avernus, Danny?" + +"I might," I tells him, "and then agin I mightn't, but if I ever did, I +don't remember what she is. What is she?" + +"It's the chute to the infernal regions," he says. "They say it's +greased. But it isn't. It's really no easier sliding down than it is +climbing back." + +Well, I seen this nigger scheme of our'n wasn't the only thing that was +troubling Doctor Kirby that night. It was thinking of all the schemes +like it in the years past he had went into, and how he had went into 'em +light-hearted and more'n half fur fun when he was a young man, and +now he wasn't fitten fur nothing else but them kind of schemes, and he +knowed it. He was seeing himself how he had been changing, like another +person could of seen it. That's the main trouble with drinking to fergit +yourself. You fergit the wrong part of yourself. + +I left him purty soon, and went along to bed. My room was next to his'n, +and they was a door between, so the two could be rented together if +wanted, I suppose. I went to sleep and woke up agin with a start out of +a dream that had in it millions and millions and millions of niggers, +every way you looked, and their mouths was all open red and their eyes +walled white, fit to scare you out of your shoes. + +I hearn Doctor Kirby moving around in his room. But purty soon he sets +down and begins to talk to himself. Everything else was quiet. I was +kind of worried about him, he had taken so much, and hoped he wouldn't +get a notion to go downtown that time o' night. So I thinks I will see +how he is acting, and steps over to the door between the rooms. + +The key happened to be on my side, and I unlocked it. But she only opens +a little ways, fur his wash stand was near to the hinge end of the door. + +I looked through. He is setting by the table, looking at a woman's +picture that is propped up on it, and talking to himself. He has never +hearn me open the door, he is so interested. But somehow, he don't look +drunk. He looks like he had fought his way up out of it, somehow--his +forehead was sweaty, and they was one intoxicated lock of hair sticking +to it; but that was the only un-sober-looking thing about him. I guess +his legs would of been unsteady if he had of tried to walk, but his +intellects was uncomfortable and sober. + +He is still keeping up that same old argument with himself, or with the +picture. + +"It isn't any use," I hearn him say, looking at the picture. + +Then he listened like he hearn it answering him. "Yes, you always +say just that--just that," he says. "And I don't know why I keep on +listening to you." + +The way he talked, and harkened fur an answer, when they was nothing +there to answer, give me the creeps. + +"You don't help me," he goes on, "you don't help me at all. You only +make it harder. Yes, this thing is worse than the others. I know that. +But I want money--and fool things like this HAVE sometimes made it. No, +I won't give it up. No, there's no use making any more promises now. I +know myself now. And you ought to know me by this time, too. Why can't +you let me alone altogether? I should think, when you see what I am, +you'd let me be. + +"God help you! if you'd only stay away it wouldn't be so hard to go to +hell!" + + + + + +CHAPTER XVI + + +There's a lot of counties in Georgia where the blacks are equal in +number to the whites, and two or three counties where the blacks number +over the whites by two to one. It was fur a little town in one of the +latter that we pinted ourselves, Doctor Kirby and me and Sam--right into +the blackest part of the black belt. + +That country is full of big-sized plantations, where they raise cotton, +cotton, cotton, and then MORE cotton. Some of 'em raises fruit, too, and +other things, of course; but cotton is the main stand-by, and it looks +like it always will be. + +Some places there shows that things can't be so awful much changed since +slavery days, and most of the niggers are sure enough country niggers +yet. Some rents their land right out from the owners, and some of 'em +crops it on the shares, and very many of 'em jest works as hands. A lot +of 'em don't do nigh so well now as they did when their bosses was their +masters, they tell me; and then agin, some has done right well on their +own hook. They intrusted me, because I never had been use to looking at +so many niggers. Every way you turn there they is niggers and then more +niggers. + +Them that thinks they is awful easy to handle out of a natcheral respect +fur white folks has got another guess coming. They ain't so bad to get +along with if you keep it most pintedly shoved into their heads they +IS niggers. You got to do that especial in the black belt, jest because +they IS so many of 'em. They is children all their lives, mebby, till +some one minute of craziness may strike one of them, and then he is a +devil temporary. Mebby, when the crazy fit has passed, some white woman +is worse off than if she was dead, or mebby she IS dead, or mebby a +loonatic fur life, and that nigger is a candidate fur a lynching bee and +ginerally elected by an anonymous majority. + +Not that ALL niggers is that-a-way, nor HALF of 'em, nor very MANY of +'em, even--but you can never tell WHICH nigger is going to be. So in the +black belt the white folks is mighty pertic'ler who comes along fooling +with their niggers. Fur you can never tell what turn a nigger's thoughts +will take, once anything at all stirs 'em up. + +We didn't know them things then, Doctor Kirby and me didn't. We didn't +know we was moving light-hearted right into the middle of the biggest +question that has ever been ast. Which I disremember exactly how that +nigger question is worded, but they is always asting it in the South, +and answering of it different ways. We hadn't no idea how suspicious the +white people in them awful black spots on the map can get over any one +that comes along talking to their niggers. We didn't know anything about +niggers much, being both from the North, except what Doctor Kirby had +counted on when he made his medicine, and THAT he knowed second-handed +from other people. We didn't take 'em very serious, nor all the talk we +hearn about 'em down South. + +But even at that we mightn't of got into any trouble if it hadn't of +been fur old Bishop Warren. But that is getting ahead of the story. + +We got into that little town--I might jest as well call it +Cottonville--jest about supper time. Cottonville is a little place +of not more'n six hundred people. I guess four hundred of 'em must be +niggers. + +After supper we got acquainted with purty nigh all the prominent +citizens in town. They was friendly with us, and we was friendly with +them. Georgia had jest went fur prohibition a few months before that, +and they hadn't opened up these here near-beer bar-rooms in the little +towns yet, like they had in Atlanta and the big towns. Georgia had went +prohibition so the niggers couldn't get whiskey, some said; but others +said they didn't know WHAT its excuse was. Them prominent citizens was +loafing around the hotel and every now and then inviting each other very +mysterious into a back room that use to be a pool parlour. They had +been several jugs come to town by express that day. We went back several +times ourselves, and soon began to get along purty well with them +prominent citizens. + +Talking about this and that they finally edges around to the one +thing everybody is sure to get to talking about sooner or later in the +South--niggers. And then they gets to telling us about this here Bishop +Warren I has mentioned. + +He was a nigger bishop, Bishop Warren was, and had a good deal of white +blood into him, they say. An ashy-coloured nigger, with bumps on his +face, fat as a possum, and as cunning as a fox. He had plenty of brains +into his head, too; but his brains had turned sour in his head the last +few years, and the bishop had crazy streaks running through his sense +now, like fat and lean mixed in a slab of bacon. He used to be friends +with a lot of big white folks, and the whites depended on him at one +time to preach orderliness and obedience and agriculture and being +in their place to the niggers. Fur years they thought he preached +that-a-way. He always DID preach that-a-way when any whites was around, +and he set on platforms sometimes with white preachers, and he got good +donations fur schemes of different kinds. But gradual the suspicion got +around that when he was alone with a lot of niggers his nigger blood +would get the best of him, and what he preached wasn't white supremacy +at all, but hopefulness of being equal. + +So the whites had fell away from him, and then his graft was gone, +and then his brains turned sour in his head and got to working and +fermenting in it like cider getting hard, and he made a few bad breaks +by not being careful what he said before white people. But the niggers +liked him all the better fur that. + +They always had been more or less hell in the bishop's heart. He had +brains and he knowed it, and the white folks had let him see THEY knowed +it, too. And he was part white, and his white forefathers had been big +men in their day, and yet, in spite of all of that, he had to herd with +niggers and to pertend he liked it. He was both white and black in his +feelings about things, so some of his feelings counterdicted others, and +one of these here race riots went on all the time in his own insides. +But gradual he got to the place where they was spells he hated both +whites and niggers, but he hated the whites the worst. And now, in the +last two or three years, since his crazy streaks had growed as big +as his sensible streaks, or bigger, they was no telling what he would +preach to them niggers. But whatever he preached most of them would +believe. It might be something crazy and harmless, or it might be crazy +and harmful. + +He had been holding some revival meetings in nigger churches right there +in that very county, and was at it not fur away from there right then. +The idea had got around he was preaching some most unusual foolishness +to the blacks. Fur the niggers was all acting like they knowed something +too good to mention to the white folks, all about there. But some white +men had gone to one of the meetings, and the bishop had preached one of +his old-time sermons whilst they was there, telling the niggers to be +orderly and agriculturous--he was considerable of a fox yet. But he +and the rest of the niggers was so DERNED anxious to be thought +agriculturous and servitudinous that the whites smelt a rat, and wished +he would go, fur they didn't want to chase him without they had to. + +Jest when we was getting along fine one of them prominent citizens asts +the doctor was we there figgering on buying some land? + +"No," says the doctor, "we wasn't." + +They was silence fur quite a little spell. Each prominent citizen had +mebby had his hopes of unloading some. They all looks a little sad, and +then another prominent citizen asts us into the back room agin. + +When we returns to the front room another prominent citizen makes +a little speech that was quite beautiful to hear, and says mebby we +represents some new concern that ain't never been in them parts and is +figgering on buying cotton. + +"No," the doctor says, "we ain't cotton buyers." + +Another prominent citizen has the idea mebby we is figgering on one of +these here inter-Reuben trolley lines, so the Rubes in one village can +ride over and visit the Rubes in the next. And another one thinks mebby +we is figgering on a telephone line. And each one makes a very eloquent +little speech about them things, and rings in something about our fair +Southland. And when both of them misses their guess it is time fur +another visit to the back room. + +Was we selling something? + +We was. + +Was we selling fruit trees? + +We wasn't. + +Finally, after every one has a chew of natcheral leaf tobaccer all +around, one prominent citizen makes so bold as to ast us very courteous +if he might enquire what it was we was selling. + +The doctor says medicine. + +Then they was a slow grin went around that there crowd of prominent +citizens. And once agin we has to make a trip to that back room. Fur +they are all sure we must be taking orders fur something to beat that +there prohibition game. When they misses that guess they all gets kind +of thoughtful and sad. A couple of 'em don't take no more interest in +us, but goes along home sighing-like, as if it wasn't no difference WHAT +we sold as long as it wasn't what they was looking fur. + +But purty soon one of them asts: + +"What KIND of medicine?" + +The doctor, he tells about it. + +When he finishes you never seen such a change as had come onto the faces +of that bunch. I never seen such disgusted prominent citizens in my hull +life. They looked at each other embarrassed, like they had been ketched +at something ornery. And they went out one at a time, saying good night +to the hotel-keeper and in the most pinted way taking no notice of us at +all. It certainly was a chill. We sees something is wrong, and we begins +to have a notion of what it is. + +The hotel-keeper, he spits out his chew, and goes behind his little +counter and takes a five-cent cigar out of his little show case and +bites the end off careful. Then he leans his elbows onto his counter and +reads our names to himself out of the register book, and looks at us, +and from us to the names, and from the names to us, like he is trying to +figger out how he come to let us write 'em there. Then he wants to know +where we come from before we come to Atlanta, where we had registered +from. We tells him we is from the North. He lights his cigar like he +didn't think much of that cigar and sticks it in his mouth and looks at +us so long in an absent-minded kind of way it goes out. + +Then he says we orter go back North. + +"Why?" asts the doctor. + +He chewed his cigar purty nigh up to the middle of it before he +answered, and when he spoke it was a soft kind of a drawl--not mad or +loud--but like they was sorrowful thoughts working in him. + +"Yo' all done struck the wo'st paht o' the South to peddle yo' niggah +medicine in, sah. I reckon yo' must love 'em a heap to be that concerned +over the colour of their skins." + +And he turned his back on us and went into the back room all by himself. + +We seen we was in wrong in that town. The doctor says it will be no use +trying to interduce our stuff there, and we might as well leave there +in the morning and go over to Bairdstown, which was a little place about +ten miles off the railroad, and make our start there. + +So we got a rig the next morning and drove acrost the country. No one +bid us good-bye, neither, and Doctor Kirby says it's a wonder they +rented us the rig. + +But before we started that morning we noticed a funny thing. We hadn't +so much as spoke to any nigger, except our own nigger Sam, and he +couldn't of told ALL the niggers in that town about the stuff to turn +niggers white, even if he had set up all night to do it. But every last +nigger we saw looked like he knowed something about us. Even after we +left town our nigger driver hailed two or three niggers in the road that +acted that-away. It seemed like they was all awful polite to us. And +yet they was different in their politeness than they was to them Georgia +folks, which is their natcheral-born bosses--acted more familiar, +somehow, as if they knowed we must be thinking about the same thing they +was thinking about. + +About half-way to Bairdstown we stopped at a place to get a drink of +water. Seemingly the white folks was away fur the day, and an old nigger +come up and talked to our driver while Sam and us was at the well. + +I seen them cutting their eyes at us, whilst they was unchecking the +hosses to let them drink too, and then I hearn the one that belonged +there say: + +"Is yo' SUAH dat hit air dem?" + +"SUAH!" says the driver. + +"How-come yo' so all-powerful SUAH about hit?" + +The driver pertended the harness needed some fixing, and they went +around to the other side of the team and tinkered with one of the +traces, a-talking to each other. I hearn the old nigger say, kind of +wonderized: + +"Is dey a-gwine dar NOW?" + +Sam, he was pulling a bucket of water up out of the well fur us with a +windlass. The doctor says to him: + +"Sam, what does all this mean?" + +Sam, he pertends he don't know what the doctor is talking about. +But Doctor Kirby he finally pins him down. Sam hemmed and hawed +considerable, making up his mind whether he better lie to us or not. +Then, all of a sudden, he busted out into an awful fit of laughing, and +like to of fell in the well. Seemingly he decided fur to tell us the +truth. + +From what Sam says that there bishop has been holding revival meetings +in Big Bethel, which is a nigger church right on the edge of Bairdstown, +and niggers fur miles around has been coming night after night, and some +of them whooping her up daytimes too. And the bishop has worked himself +up the last three or four nights to where he has been perdicting and +prophesying, fur the spirit has hit the meeting hard. + +What he has been prophesying, Sam says, is the coming of a Messiah fur +the nigger race--a new Elishyah, he says, as will lead them from out'n +their inequality and bring 'em up to white standards right on the spot. +The whites has had their Messiah, the bishop says, but the niggers ain't +never had none of their SPECIAL OWN yet. And they needs one bad, and one +is sure a-coming. + +It seems the whites don't know yet jest what the bishop's been +a-preaching. But every nigger fur miles on every side of Big Bethel is +a-listening and a-looking fur signs and omens, and has been fur two, +three days now. This here half-crazy bishop has got 'em worked up to +where they is ready to believe anything, or do anything. + +So the night before when the word got out in Cottonville that we had +some scheme to make the niggers white, the niggers there took up with +the idea that the doctor was mebby the feller the bishop had been +prophesying about, and for a sign and a omen and a miracle of his grace +and powers was going out to Big Bethel to turn 'em white. Poor devils, +they didn't see but what being turned white orter be a part of what they +was to get from the coming of that there Messiah. + +News spreads among niggers quicker than among whites. No one knows how +they do it. But I've hearn tales about how when war times was there, +they would frequent have the news of a big fight before the white folks' +papers would. Soldiers has told me that in them there Philippine Islands +we conquered from Spain, where they is so much nigger blood mixed up +with other kinds in the islanders, this mysterious spreading around of +news is jest the same. And jest since nine o'clock the night before, the +news had spread fur miles around that Bishop Warren's Messiah was on his +way, and was going fur to turn the bishop white to show his power and +grace, and he had with him one he had turned part white, and that was +Sam, and one he had turned clear white, and that was me. And they was to +be signs and wonders to behold at Big Bethel, with pillars of cloud and +sounds of trumpets and fire squirting down from heaven, like it always +use to be in them old Bible days, and them there niggers to be led +singing and shouting and rejoicing into a land of milk and honey, +forevermore, AMEN! + +That's what Sam says they are looking fur, dozens and scores and +hundreds of them niggers round about. Sam, he had lived in town five +or six years, and he looked down on all these here ignoramus country +niggers. So he busts out laughing at first, and he pertends like he +don't take no stock in any of it. Besides, he knowed well enough he +wasn't spotted up by no Messiah, but it was the dope in the bottles done +it. But as he told about them goings-on Sam got more and more interested +and warmed up to it, and his voice went into a kind of a sing-song like +he was prophesying himself. And the other two niggers quit pertending to +fool around the team and edged a little closeter, and a little closeter +yet, with their mouths open and their heads a-nodding and the whites of +their eyes a-rolling. + +Fur my part, I never hearn such a lot of dern foolishness in all my +life. But the doctor, he says nothing at all. He listens to Sam ranting +and rolling out big words and raving, and only frowns. He climbs back +into the buggy agin silent, and all the rest of the way to Bairdstown +he set there with that scowl on his face. I guesses he was thinking now, +the way things had shaped up, he wouldn't sell none of his stuff at all +without he fell right in with the reception chance had planned fur him. +But if he did fall in with it, and pertend like he was a Messiah to +them niggers, he could get all they had. He was mebby thinking how much +ornerier that would make the hull scheme. + + + + + +CHAPTER XVII + + +We got to Bairdstown early enough, but we didn't go to work there. We +wasted all that day. They was something working in the doctor's head he +wasn't talking about. I supposed he was getting cold feet on the hull +proposition. Anyhow, he jest set around the little tavern in that place +and done nothing all afternoon. + +The weather was fine, and we set out in front. We hadn't set there +more'n an hour till I could tell we was being noticed by the blacks, +not out open and above board. But every now and then one or two or three +would pass along down the street, and lazy about and take a look at +us. They pertended they wasn't noticing, but they was. The word had got +around, and they was a feeling in the air I didn't like at all. Too much +caged-up excitement among the niggers. The doctor felt it too, I could +see that. But neither one of us said anything about it to the other. + +Along toward dusk we takes a walk. They was a good-sized crick at the +edge of that little place, and on it an old-fashioned worter mill. Above +the mill a little piece was a bridge. We crossed it and walked along a +road that follered the crick bank closte fur quite a spell. + +It wasn't much of a town--something betwixt a village and a +settlement--although they was going to run a branch of the railroad over +to it before very long. It had had a chancet to get a railroad once, +years before that. But it had said then it didn't want no railroad. So +until lately every branch built through that part of the country grinned +very sarcastic and give it the go-by. + +They was considerable woods standing along the crick, and around a turn +in the road we come onto Sam, all of a sudden, talking with another +nigger. Sam was jest a-laying it off to that nigger, but he kind of +hushed as we come nearer. Down the road quite a little piece was a +good-sized wooden building that never had been painted and looked like +it was a big barn. Without knowing it the doctor and me had been pinting +ourselves right toward Big Bethel. + +The nigger with Sam he yells out, when he sees us: + +"Glory be! HYAH dey comes! Hyah dey comes NOW!" + +And he throwed up his arms, and started on a lope up the road toward the +church, singing out every ten or fifteen yards. A little knot of niggers +come out in front of the church when they hearn him coming. + +Sam, he stood his ground, and waited fur us to come up to him, kind of +apologetic and sneaking--looking about something or other. + +"What kind of lies have you been telling these niggers, Sam?" says the +doctor, very sharp and short and mad-like. + +Sam, he digs a stone out'n the road with the toe of his shoe, and kind +of grins to himself, still looking sheepish. But he says he opinionates +he been telling them nothing at all. + +"I dunno how-come dey get all dem nigger notions in dey fool haid," Sam +says, "but dey all waitin' dar inside de chu'ch do'--some of de mos' +faiful an' de mos' pra'rful ones o' de Big Bethel cong'gation been dar +fo' de las' houah a-waitin' an' a-watchin', spite o' de fac' dat reg'lah +meetin' ain't gwine ter be called twell arter supper. De bishop, he dar +too. Dey got some dese hyah coal-ile lamps dar des inside de chu'ch do' +an' dey been keepin' on 'em lighted, daytimes an' night times, fo' two +days now, kaze dey say dey ain't gwine fo' ter be cotched napping when +de bridegroom COMeth. Yass, SAH!--dey's ten o' dese hyah vergims dar, +five of 'em sleepin' an' five of 'em watchin', an' a-takin' tuhns at +hit, an' mebby dat how-come free or fouah dey bes' young colo'hed mens +been projickin' aroun' dar all arternoon, a-helpin' dem dat's a-waitin' +twell de bridegroom COM eth!" + +We seen a little knot of them, down the road there in front of the +church, gathering around the nigger that had been with Sam. They all +starts toward us. But one man steps out in front of them all, and turns +toward them and holds his hands up, and waves them back. They all stops +in their tracks. + +Then he turns his face toward us, and comes slow and sollum down the +road in our direction, walking with a cane, and moving very dignified. +He was a couple of hundred yards away. + +But as he come closeter we gradually seen him plainer and plainer. He +was a big man, and stout, and dressed very neat in the same kind of rig +as white bishops wear, with one of these white collars that buttons in +the back. I suppose he was coming on to meet us alone, because no one +was fitten fur to give us the first welcome but himself. + +Well, it was all dern foolishness, and it was hard to believe it could +all happen, and they ain't so many places in this here country it COULD +happen. But fur all of it being foolishness, when he come down the road +toward us so dignified and sollum and slow I ketched myself fur a minute +feeling like we really had been elected to something and was going to +take office soon. And Sam, as the bishop come closeter and closeter, got +to jerking and twitching with the excitement that he had been keeping +in--and yet all the time Sam knowed it was dope and works and not faith +that had made him spotted that-a-way. + +He stops, the bishop does, about ten yards from us and looks us over. + +"Ah yo' de gennleman known ter dis hyah sinful genehation by de style +an' de entitlemint o' Docto' Hahtley Kirby?" he asts the doctor very +ceremonious and grand. + +The doctor give him a look that wasn't very encouraging, but he nodded +to him. + +"Will yo' dismiss yo' sehvant in ordeh dat we kin hol' convehse an' +communion in de midst er privacy?" + +The doctor, he nods to Sam, and Sam moseys along toward the church. + +"Now, then," says the doctor, sudden and sharp, "take off your hat and +tell me what you want." + +The bishop's hand goes up to his head with a jerk before he thought. +Then it stops there, while him and the doctor looks at each other. The +bishop's mouth opens like he was wondering, but he slowly pulls his +hat off and stands there bare-headed in the road. But he wasn't really +humble, that bishop. + +"Now," says the doctor, "tell me in as straight talk as you've got what +all this damned foolishness among you niggers means." + +A queer kind of look passed over the bishop's face. He hadn't expected +to be met jest that way, mebby. Whether he himself had really believed +in the coming of that there new Messiah he had been perdicting, I never +could settle in my mind. Mebby he had been getting ready to pass HIMSELF +off fur one before we come along and the niggers all got the fool idea +Doctor Kirby was it. Before the bishop spoke agin you could see his +craziness and his cunningness both working in his face. But when he did +speak he didn't quit being ceremonious nor dignified. + +"De wohd has gone fo'th among de faiful an' de puah in heaht," he says, +"dat er man has come accredited wi' signs an' wi' mahvels an' de poweh +o' de sperrit fo' to lay his han' on de sons o' Ham an' ter make 'em des +de same in colluh as de yuther sons of ea'th." + +"Then that word is a lie," says the doctor. "I DID come here to try out +some stuff to change the colour of negro skins. That's all. And I find +your idiotic followers are all stirred up and waiting for some kind of a +miracle monger. What you have been preaching to them, you know best. Is +that all you want to know?" + +The bishop hems and haws and fiddles with his stick, and then he says: + +"Suh, will dish yeah prepa'shun SHO'LY do de wohk?" Doctor Kirby tells +him it will do the work all right. + +And then the bishop, after beating around the bush some more, comes out +with his idea. Whether he expected there would be any Messiah come or +not, of course he knowed the doctor wasn't him. But he is willing to +boost the doctor's game as long as it boosts HIS game. He wants to be in +on the deal. He wants part of the graft. He wants to get together with +the doctor on a plan before the doctor sees the niggers. And if the +doctor don't want to keep on with the miracle end of it, the bishop +shows him how he could do him good with no miracle attachment. Fur he +has an awful holt on them niggers, and his say-so will sell thousands +and thousands of bottles. What he is looking fur jest now is his little +take-out. + +That was his craftiness and his cunningness working in him. But all of +a sudden one of his crazy streaks come bulging to the surface. It come +with a wild, eager look in his eyes. + +"Suh," he cries out, all of a sudden, "ef yo' kin make me white, fo' +Gawd sakes, do hit! Do hit! Ef yo' does, I gwine ter bless yo' all yo' +days! + +"Yo' don' know--no one kin guess or comperhen'--what des bein' white +would mean ter me! Lawd! Lawd!" he says, his voice soft-spoken, but more +eager than ever as he went on, and pleading something pitiful to hear, +"des think of all de Caucasian blood in me! Gawd knows de nights er my +youth I'se laid awake twell de dawn come red in de Eas' a-cryin' out ter +Him only fo' ter be white! DES TER BE WHITE! Don' min' dem black, black +niggers dar--don' think er DEM--dey ain't wuth nothin' nor fitten fo' +no fate but what dey got-- But me! What's done kep' me from gwine ter de +top but dat one thing: _I_ WASN'T WHITE! Hit air too late now--too late +fo' dem ambitions I done trifle with an' shove behin' me--hit's too late +fo' dat! But ef I was des ter git one li'l year o' hit--ONE LI'L YEAR O' +BEIN' WHITE!--befo' I died--" + +And he went on like that, shaking and stuttering there in the road, like +a fit had struck him, crazy as a loon. But he got hold of himself enough +to quit talking, in a minute, and his cunning come back to him before +he was through trembling. Then the doctor says slow and even, but not +severe: + +"You go back to your people now, bishop, and tell them they've made a +mistake about me. And if you can, undo the harm you've done with this +Messiah business. As far as this stuff of mine is concerned, there's +none of it for you nor for any other negro. You tell them that. There's +none of it been sold yet--and there never will be." + +Then we turned away and left him standing there in the road, still with +his hat off and his face working. + +Walking back toward the little tavern the doctor says: + +"Danny, this is the end of this game. These people down here and that +half-cracked, half-crooked old bishop have made me see a few things about +the Afro-American brother. It wasn't a good scheme in the first place. +And this wasn't the place to start it going, anyhow--I should have tried +the niggers in the big towns. But I'm out of it now, and I'm glad of +it. What we want to do is to get away from here to-morrow--go back to +Atlanta and fix up a scheme to rob some widows and orphans, or something +half-way respectable like that." + +Well, I drew a long breath. I was with Doctor Kirby in everything he +done, fur he was my friend, and I didn't intend to quit him. But I was +glad we was out of this, and hadn't sold none of that dope. We both +felt better because we hadn't. All them millions we was going to +make--shucks! We didn't neither one of us give a dern about them getting +away from us. All we wanted was jest to get away from there and not get +mixed up with no nigger problems any more. We eat supper, and we set +around a while, and we went to bed purty middling early, so as to get a +good start in the morning. + +We got up early, but early as it was the devil had been up earlier in +that neighbourhood. About four o'clock that morning a white woman about +a half a mile from the village had been attacked by a nigger. They was +doubt as to whether she would live, but if she lived they wasn't no +doubts she would always be more or less crazy. Fur besides everything +else, he had beat her insensible. And he had choked her nearly to death. +The country-side was up, with guns and pistols looking fur that nigger. +It wasn't no trouble guessing what would happen to him when they ketched +him, neither. + +"And," says Doctor Kirby, when we hearn of it, "I hope to high heaven +they DO catch him!" + +They wasn't much doubt they would, either. They was already beating up +the woods and bushes and gangs was riding up and down the roads, and +every nigger's house fur miles around was being searched and watched. + +We soon seen we would have trouble getting hosses and a rig in the +village to take us to the railroad. Many of the hosses was being ridden +in the man-hunt. And most of the men who might have done the driving was +busy at that too. The hotel-keeper himself had left his place standing +wide open and went out. We didn't get any breakfast neither. + +"Danny," says the doctor, "we'll just put enough money to pay the bill +in an envelope on the register here, and strike out on shank's ponies. +It's only nine or ten miles to the railroad--we'll walk." + +"But how about our stuff?" I asts him. We had two big cases full of +sample bottles of that dope, besides our suit cases. + +"Hang the dope!" says the doctor, "I don't ever want to see it or hear +of it again! We'll leave it here. Put the things out of your suit case +into mine, and leave that here too. Sam can carry mine. I want to be on +the move." + +So we left, with Sam carrying the one suit case. It wasn't nine in the +morning yet, and we was starting out purty empty fur a long walk. + +"Sam," says the doctor, as we was passing that there Big Bethel +church--and it showed up there silent and shabby in the morning, like a +old coloured man that knows a heap more'n he's going to tell--"Sam, were +you at the meeting here last night?" + +"Yass, suh!" + +"I suppose it was a pretty tame affair after they found out their Elisha +wasn't coming after all?" + +Sam, he walled his eyes, and then he kind of chuckled. + +"Well, suh," he says, "I 'spicions de mos' on 'em don' know dat YIT!" + +The doctor asts him what he means. + +It seems the bishop must of done some thinking after we left him in the +road or on his way back to that church. They had all begun to believe +that there Elishyah was on the way to 'em, and the bishop's credit was +more or less wrapped up with our being it. It was true he hadn't started +that belief; but it was believed, and he didn't dare to stop it now. +Fur, if he stopped it, they would all think he had fell down on his +prophetics, even although he hadn't prophesied jest exactly us. He was +in a tight place, that bishop, but I bet you could always depend on him +to get out of it with his flock. So what he told them niggers at the +meeting last night was that he brung 'em a message from Elishyah, Sam +says, the Elishyah that was to come. And the message was that the time +was not ripe fur him to reveal himself as Elishyah unto the eyes of all +men, fur they had been too much sinfulness and wickedness and walking +into the ways of evil, right amongst that very congregation, and +disobedience of the bishop, which was their guide. And he had sent 'em +word, Elishyah had, that the bishop was his trusted servant, and into +the keeping of the bishop was give the power to deal with his people and +prepare them fur the great day to come. And the bishop would give the +word of his coming. He was a box, that bishop was, in spite of his crazy +streaks; and he had found a way to make himself stronger than ever with +his bunch out of the very kind of thing that would have spoiled most +people's graft. They had had a big meeting till nearly morning, and the +power had hit 'em strong. Sam told us all about it. + +But the thing that seemed to interest the doctor, and made him frown, +was the idea that all them niggers round about there still had the idea +he was the feller that had been prophesied to come. All except Sam, +mebby. Sam had spells when he was real sensible, and other spells when +he was as bad as the believingest of them all. + +It was a fine day, and really joyous to be a-walking. It would of been +a good deal joyouser if we had had some breakfast, but we figgered we +would stop somewheres at noon and lay in a good, square, country meal. + +That wasn't such a very thick settled country. But everybody seemed to +know about the manhunt that was going on, here, there, and everywhere. +People would come down to the road side as we passed, and gaze after us. +Or mebby ast us if we knowed whether he had been ketched yet. Women and +kids mostly, or old men, but now and then a younger man too. We noticed +they wasn't no niggers to speak of that wasn't busier'n all get out, +working at something or other, that day. + +They is considerable woods in that country yet, though lots has been +cut off. But they was sometimes right long stretches where they would +be woods on both sides of the road, more or less thick, with underbrush +between the trees. We tramped along, each busy thinking his own +thoughts, and having a purty good time jest doing that without there +being no use of talking. I was thinking that I liked the doctor better +fur turning his back on all this game, jest when he might of made some +sort of a deal with the bishop and really made some money out of it +in the end. He never was so good a business man as he thought he was, +Doctor Kirby wasn't. He always could make himself think he was. But when +it come right down to brass tacks he wasn't. You give him a scheme that +would TALK well, the kind of a josh talk he liked to get off fur his own +enjoyment, and he would take up with it every time instead of one that +had more promise of money to it if it was worked harder. He was thinking +of the TALK more'n he was of the money, mostly; and he was always saying +something about art fur art's sake, which was plumb foolishness, fur he +never painted no pictures. Well, he never got over being more or less of +a puzzle to me. But fur some reason or other this morning he seemed to +be in a better humour with himself, after we had walked a while, than I +had seen him in fur a long time. + +We come to the top of one long hill, which it had made us sweat to +climb, and without saying nothing to each other we both stopped and took +off our hats and wiped our foreheads, and drawed long breaths, content +to stand there fur jest a minute or two and look around us. The road run +straight ahead, and dipped down, and then clumb up another hill about an +eighth of a mile in front of us. It made a little valley. Jest about +the middle, between the two hills, a crick meandered through the bottom +land. Woods growed along the crick, and along both sides of the road we +was travelling. Right nigh the crick they was another road come out +of the woods to the left-hand side, and switched into the road we was +travelling, and used the same bridge to cross the crick by. They was +three or four houses here and there, with chimbleys built up on the +outside of them, and blue smoke coming out. We stood and looked at the +sight before us and forgot all the troubles we had left behind, fur a +couple of minutes--it all looked so peaceful and quiet and homeyfied and +nice. + +"Well," says the doctor, after we had stood there a piece, "I guess we +better be moving on again, Danny." + +But jest as Sam, who was follering along behind with that suit case, +picks it up and puts it on his head agin, they come a sound, from away +off in the distance somewheres, that made him set it down quick. And we +all stops in our tracks and looks at each other. + +It was the voice of a hound dog--not so awful loud, but clear and mellow +and tuneful, and carried to us on the wind. And then in a minute it come +agin, sharper and quicker. They yells like that when they have struck a +scent. + +As we stood and looked at each other they come a crackle in the +underbrush, jest to the left of us. We turned our heads that-a-way, jest +as a nigger man give a leap to the top of a rail fence that separated +the road from the woods. He was going so fast that instead of climbing +that fence and balancing on the top and jumping off he jest simply +seemed to hit the top rail and bounce on over, like he had been throwed +out of the heart of the woods, and he fell sprawling over and over in +the road, right before our feet. + +He was onto his feet in a second, and fur a minute he stood up straight +and looked at us--an ashes-coloured nigger, ragged and bleeding from the +underbrush, red-eyed, and with slavers trickling from his red lips, and +sobbing and gasping and panting fur breath. Under his brown skin, where +his shirt was torn open acrost his chest, you could see that nigger's +heart a-beating. + +But as he looked at us they come a sudden change acrost his face--he +must of seen the doctor before, and with a sob he throwed himself on his +knees in the road and clasped his hands and held 'em out toward Doctor +Kirby. + +"ELISHyah! ELISHyah!" he sings out, rocking of his body in a kind +of tune, "reveal yo'se'f, reveal yo'se'f an' he'p me NOW! Lawd Gawd +ELISHyah, beckon fo' a CHA'iot, yo' cha'iot of FIAH! Lif' me, lif' +me--lif' me away f'um hyah in er cha'iot o' FIAH!" + +The doctor, he turned his head away, and I knowed the thought working +in him was the thought of that white woman that would always be an +idiot for life, if she lived. But his lips was dumb, and his one hand +stretched itself out toward that nigger in the road and made a wiping +motion, like he was trying fur to wipe the picture of him, and the +thought of him, off'n a slate forevermore. + +Jest then, nearer and louder and sharper, and with an eager sound, like +they knowed they almost had him now, them hounds' voices come ringing +through the woods, and with them come the mixedup shouts of men. + +"RUN!" yells Sam, waving of that suit case round his head, fur one +nigger will always try to help another no matter what he's done. "Run +fo' de branch--git yo' foots in de worter an' fling 'em off de scent!" + +He bounded down the hill, that red-eyed nigger, and left us standing +there. But before he reached the crick the whole man-hunt come busting +through the woods, the dogs a-straining at their straps. The men was all +on foot, with guns and pistols in their hands. They seen the nigger, +and they all let out a yell, and was after him. They ketched him at the +crick, and took him off along that road that turned off to the left. +I hearn later he was a member of Bishop Warren's congregation, so they +hung him right in front of Big Bethel church. + +We stood there on top of the hill and saw the chase and capture. Doctor +Kirby's face was sweating worse than when we first clumb the hill. +He was thinking about that nigger that had pleaded with him. He was +thinking also of the woman. He was glad it hadn't been up to him +personal right then and there to butt in and stop a lynching. He was +glad, fur with them two pictures in front of him he didn't know what he +would of done. + +"Thank heaven!" I hearn him say to himself. "Thank heaven that it wasn't +REALLY in my power to choose!" + + + + + +CHAPTER XVIII + + +Well, we had pork and greens fur dinner that day, with the best +corn-bread I ever eat anywheres, and buttermilk, and sweet potato pie. +We got 'em at the house of a feller named Withers--Old Daddy Withers. +Which if they was ever a nicer old man than him, or a nicer old woman +than his wife, I never run acrost 'em yet. + +They lived all alone, them Witherses, with only a couple of niggers to +help them run their farm. After we eats our dinner and Sam gets his'n +out to the kitchen, we sets out in front of the house and gets to +talking with them, and gets real well acquainted. Which we soon found +out the secret of old Daddy Withers's life--that there innocent-looking +old jigger was a poet. He was kind of proud of it and kind of shamed of +it both to oncet. The way it come out was when the doctor says one +of them quotations he is always getting off, and the old man he looks +pleased and says the rest of the piece it dropped out of straight +through. + +Then they had a great time quoting it at each other, them two, and I +seen the doctor is good to loaf around there the rest of the day, like +as not. Purty soon the old lady begins to get mighty proud-looking over +something or other, and she leans over and whispers to the old man: + +"Shall I bring it out, Lemuel?" + +The old man, he shakes his head, no. But she slips into the house +anyhow, and fetches out a little book with a pale green cover to it, and +hands it to the doctor. + +"Bless my soul," says Doctor Kirby, looking at the old man, "you don't +mean to say you write verse yourself?" + +The old man, he gets red all over his face, and up into the roots of +his white hair, and down into his white beard, and makes believe he is a +little mad at the old lady fur showing him off that-a-way. + +"Mother," he says, "yo' shouldn't have done that!" They had had a boy +years before, and he had died, but he always called her mother the same +as if the boy was living. He goes into the house and gets his pipe, +and brings it out and lights it, acting like that book of poetry was +a mighty small matter to him. But he looks at Doctor Kirby out of +the corner of his eyes, and can't keep from getting sort of eager and +trembly with his pipe; and I could see he was really anxious over what +the doctor was thinking of them poems he wrote. The doctor reads some of +'em out loud. + +Well, it was kind of home-made poetry, Old Daddy Withers's was. It +wasn't like no other poetry I ever struck. And I could tell the doctor +was thinking the same about it. It sounded somehow like it hadn't been +jointed together right. You would keep listening fur it to rhyme, and +get all worked up watching and waiting fur it to, and make bets with +yourself whether it would rhyme or it wouldn't. And then it ginerally +wouldn't. I never hearn such poetry to get a person's expectances all +worked up, and then go back on 'em. But if you could of told what it was +all about, you wouldn't of minded that so much. Not that you can tell +what most poetry is about, but you don't care so long as it keeps +hopping along lively. What you want in poetry to make her sound good, +according to my way of thinking, is to make her jump lively, and +then stop with a bang on the rhymes. But Daddy Withers was so +independent-like he would jest natcherally try to force two words to +rhyme whether the Lord made 'em fur mates or not--like as if you would +try to make a couple of kids kiss and make up by bumping their heads +together. They jest simply won't do it. But Doctor Kirby, he let on like +he thought it was fine poetry, and he read them pieces over and over +agin, out loud, and the old man and the old woman was both mighty +tickled with the way he done it. He wouldn't of had 'em know fur +anything he didn't believe it was the finest poetry ever wrote, Doctor +Kirby wouldn't. + +They was four little books of it altogether. Slim books that looked as +if they hadn't had enough to eat, like a stray cat whose ribs is rubbing +together. It had cost Daddy Withers five hundred dollars apiece to get +'em published. A feller in Boston charged him that much, he said. It +seems he would go along fur years, raking and scraping of his money +together, so as to get enough ahead to get out another book. Each time +he had his hopes the big newspapers would mebby pay some attention to +it, and he would get recognized. + +"But they never did," said the old man, kind of sad, "it always fell +flat." + +"Why, FATHER!"--the old lady begins, and finishes by running back into +the house agin. She is out in a minute with a clipping from a newspaper +and hands it over to Doctor Kirby, as proud as a kid with copper-toed +boots. The doctor reads it all the way through, and then he hands it +back without saying a word. The old lady goes away to fiddle around +about the housework purty soon and the old man looks at the doctor and +says: + +"Well, you see, don't you?" + +"Yes," says the doctor, very gentle. + +"I wouldn't have HER know for the world," says Daddy Withers. "_I_ +know and YOU know that newspaper piece is just simply poking fun at my +poetry, and making a fool of me, the whole way through. As soon as I +read it over careful I saw it wasn't really praise, though there was a +minute or two I thought my recognition had come. But SHE don't know it +ain't serious from start to finish. SHE was all-mighty pleased when that +piece come out in print. And I don't intend she ever shall know it ain't +real praise." + +His wife was so proud when that piece come out in that New York paper, +he said, she cried over it. She said now she was glad they had been +doing without things fur years and years so they could get them little +books printed, one after the other, fur now fame was coming. But +sometimes, Daddy Withers says, he suspicions she really knows he has +been made a fool of, and is pertending not to see it, fur his sake, the +same as he is pertending fur HER sake. Well, they was a mighty nice +old couple, and the doctor done a heap of pertending fur both their +sakes--they wasn't nothing else to do. + +"How'd you come to get started at it?" he asts. + +Daddy Withers says he don't rightly know. Mebby, he says, it was living +there all his life and watching things growing--watching the cotton +grow, and the corn and getting acquainted with birds and animals and +trees and things. Helping of things to grow, he says, is a good way to +understand how God must feel about humans. For what you plant and help +to grow, he says, you are sure to get to caring a heap about. You can't +help it. And that is the reason, he says, God can be depended on to pull +the human race through in the end, even if appearances do look to be +agin His doing it sometimes, fur He started it to growing in the first +place and that-a-way He got interested personal in it. And that is the +main idea, he says, he has all the time been trying to get into that +there poetry of his'n. But he reckons he ain't got her in. Leastways, +he says, no one has never seen her there but the doctor and the old lady +and himself. Well, for my part, I never would of seen it there myself, +but when he said it out plain like that any one could of told what he +meant. + +You hadn't orter lay things up agin folks if the folks can't help 'em. +And I will say Daddy Withers was a fine old boy in spite of his poetry. +Which it never really done any harm, except being expensive to him, and +lots will drink that much up and never figger it an expense, but one +of the necessities of life. We went all over his place with him, and we +noticed around his house a lot of tin cans tacked up to posts and trees. +They was fur the birds to drink out of, and all the birds around there +had found out about it, and about Daddy Withers, and wasn't scared of +him at all. He could get acquainted with animals, too, so that after a +long spell sometimes they would even let him handle them. But not if any +one was around. They was a crow he had made a pet of, used to hop around +in front of him, and try fur to talk to him. If he went to sleep in the +front yard whilst he was reading, that crow had a favourite trick of +stealing his spectacles off'n his nose and flying up to the ridgepole +of the house, and cawing at him. Once he had been setting out a row of +tomato plants very careful, and he got to the end of the row and turned +around, and that there crow had been hopping along behind very sollum, +pulling up each plant as he set it out. It acted like it had done +something mighty smart, and knowed it, that crow. So after that the old +man named him Satan, fur he said it was Satan's trick to keep things +from growing. They was some blue and white pigeons wasn't scared to come +and set on his shoulders; but you could see the old man really liked +that crow Satan better'n any of them. + +Well, we hung around all afternoon listening to the old man talk, and +liking him better and better. First thing we knowed it was getting along +toward supper time. And nothing would do but we must stay to supper, +too. We was pinted toward a place on the railroad called Smithtown, but +when we found we couldn't get a train from there till ten o'clock that +night anyhow, and it was only three miles away, we said we'd stay. + +After supper we calculated we'd better move. But the old man wouldn't +hear of us walking that three miles. So about eight o'clock he hitched +up a mule to a one-hoss wagon, and we jogged along. + +They was a yaller moon sneaking up over the edge of the world when we +started. It was so low down in the sky yet that it threw long shadders +on the road, and they was thick and black ones, too. Because they was a +lot of trees alongside the road, and the road was narrow, we went ahead +mostly through the darkness, with here and there patches of moonlight +splashed onto the ground. Doctor Kirby and Old Man Withers was setting +on the seat, still gassing away about books and things, and I was +setting on the suit case in the wagon box right behind 'em. Sam, he was +sometimes in the back of the wagon. He had been more'n half asleep all +afternoon, but now it was night he was waked up, the way niggers and +cats will do, and every once in a while he would get out behind and cut +a few capers in a moonlight patch, jest fur the enjoyment of it, and +then run and ketch up with the wagon and crawl in agin, fur it was going +purty slow. + +The ground was sandy in spots, and I guess we made a purty good load fur +Beck, the old mule. She stopped, going up a little slope, after we had +went about a mile from the Witherses'. Sam says he'll get out and walk, +fur the wheels was in purty deep, and it was hard going. + +"Giddap, Beck!" says the old man. + +But Beck, she won't. She don't stand like she is stuck, neither, but +like she senses danger somewheres about. A hoss might go ahead into +danger, but a mule is more careful of itself and never goes butting in +unless it feels sure they is a way out. + +"Giddap," says the old man agin. + +But jest then the shadders on both sides of the road comes to life. They +wakes up, and moves all about us. It was done so sudden and quiet it was +half a minute before I seen it wasn't shadders but about thirty men had +gathered all about us on every side. They had guns. + +"Who are you? What d'ye want?" asts the old man, startled, as three or +four took care of the mule's head very quick and quiet. + +"Don't be skeered, Daddy Withers," says a drawly voice out of the dark; +"we ain't goin' to hurt YOU. We got a little matter o' business to tend +to with them two fellers yo' totin' to town." + + + + + +CHAPTER XIX + + +_Thirty_ men with guns would be considerable of a proposition to buck +against, so we didn't try it. They took us out of the wagon, and they +pinted us down the road, steering us fur a country schoolhouse which +was, I judged from their talk, about a quarter of a mile away. They took +us silent, fur after we found they didn't answer no questions we quit +asking any. We jest walked along, and guessed what we was up against, +and why. Daddy Withers, he trailed along behind. They had tried to send +him along home, but he wouldn't go. So they let him foller and paid no +more heed to him. + +Sam, he kept a-talking and a-begging, and several men a-telling of him +to shut up. And him not a-doing it. Till finally one feller says very +disgusted-like: + +"Boys, I'm going to turn this nigger loose." + +"We'll want his evidence," says another one. + +"Evidence!" says the first one. "What's the evidence of a scared nigger +worth?" + +"I reckon that one this afternoon was considerable scared, when he give +us that evidence against himself--that is, if you call it evidence." + +"A nigger can give evidence against a nigger, and it's all right," says +another voice--which it come from a feller that had a-holt of my wrist +on the left-hand side of me--"but these are white men we are going to +try to-night. The case is too serious to take nigger evidence. Besides, +I reckon we got all the evidence any one could need. This nigger ain't +charged with any crime himself, and my idea is that he ain't to be +allowed to figure one way or the other in this thing." + +So they turned Sam loose. I never seen nor hearn tell of Sam since then. +They fired a couple of guns into the air as he started down the road, +jest fur fun, and mebby he is running yet. + +The feller had been talking like he was a lawyer, so I asts him what +crime we was charged with. But he didn't answer me. And jest then we +gets in sight of that schoolhouse. + +It set on top of a little hill, partially in the moonlight, with a few +sad-looking pine trees scattered around it, and the fence in front +broke down. Even after night you could see it was a shabby-looking little +place. + +Old Daddy Withers tied his mule to the broken down fence. Somebody +busted the front door down. Somebody else lighted matches. The first +thing I knowed, we was all inside, and four or five dirty little coal +oil lamps, with tin reflectors to 'em, which I s'pose was used ordinary +fur school exhibitions, was being lighted. + +We was waltzed up onto the teacher's platform, Doctor Kirby and me, and +set down in chairs there, with two men to each of us, and then a tall, +rawboned feller stalks up to the teacher's desk, and raps on it with the +butt end of a pistol, and says: + +"Gentlemen, this meeting will come to order." + +Which they was orderly enough before that, but they all took off their +hats when he rapped, like in a court room or a church, and most of 'em +set down. + +They set down in the school kids' seats, or on top of the desks, and +their legs stuck out into the aisles, and they looked uncomfortable and +awkward. But they looked earnest and they looked sollum, too, and they +wasn't no joking nor skylarking going on, nor no kind of rowdyness, +neither. These here men wasn't toughs, by any manner of means, but +the most part of 'em respectable farmers. They had a look of meaning +business. + +"Gentlemen," says the feller who had rapped, "who will you have for your +chairman?" + +"I reckon you'll do, Will," says another feller to the raw-boned man, +which seemed to satisfy him. But he made 'em vote on it before he took +office. + +"Now then," says Will, "the accused must have counsel." + +"Will," says another feller, very hasty, "what's the use of all this +fuss an' feathers? You know as well as I do there's nothing legal about +this. It's only necessary. For my part--" + +"Buck Hightower," says Will, pounding on the desk, "you will please come +to order." Which Buck done it. + +"Now," says the chairman, turning toward Doctor Kirby, who had been +setting there looking thoughtful from one man to another, like he was +sizing each one up, "now I must explain to the chief defendant that we +don't intend to lynch him." + +He stopped a second on that word LYNCH as if to let it soak in. The +doctor, he bowed toward him very cool and ceremonious, and says, mocking +of him: + +"You reassure me, Mister--Mister--What is your name?" He said it in a +way that would of made a saint mad. + +"My name ain't any difference," says Will, trying not to show he was +nettled. + +"You are quite right," says the doctor, looking Will up and down from +head to foot, very slow and insulting, "it's of no consequence in the +world." + +Will, he flushed up, but he makes himself steady and cool, and he goes +on with his little speech: "There is to be no lynching here to-night. +There is to be a trial, and, if necessary, an execution." + +"Would it be asking too much," says the doctor very polite, "if I were +to inquire who is to be tried, and before what court, and upon what +charge?" + +There was a clearing of throats and a shuffling of feet fur a minute. +One old deaf feller, with a red nose, who had his hand behind his ear +and was leaning forward so as not to miss a breath of what any one said, +ast his neighbour in a loud whisper, "How?" Then an undersized little +feller, who wasn't a farmer by his clothes, got up and moved toward the +platform. He had a bulging-out forehead, and thin lips, and a quick, +nervous way about him: + +"You are to be tried," he says to the doctor, speaking in a kind of +shrill sing-song that cut your nerves in that room full of bottled-up +excitement like a locust on a hot day. "You are to be tried before this +self-constituted court of Caucasian citizens--Anglo-Saxons, sir, every +man of them, whose forbears were at Runnymede! The charge against you +is stirring up the negroes of this community to the point of revolt. +You are accused, sir, of representing yourself to them as some kind of +a Moses. You are arraigned here for endangering the peace of the county +and the supremacy of the Caucasian race by inspiring in the negroes the +hope of equality." + +Old Daddy Withers had been setting back by the door. I seen him get +up and slip out. It didn't look to me to be any place fur a gentle old +poet. While that little feller was making that charge you could feel the +air getting tingly, like it does before a rain storm. + +Some fellers started to clap their hands like at a political rally and +to say, "Go it, Billy!" "That's right, Harden!" Which I found out later +Billy Harden was in the state legislature, and quite a speaker, and +knowed it. Will, the chairman, he pounded down the applause, and then he +says to the doctor, pointing to Billy Harden: + +"No man shall say of us that we did not give you a fair trial and a +square deal. I'm goin' to appoint this gentleman as your counsel, and +I'm goin' to give you a reasonable time to talk with him in private and +prepare your case. He is the ablest lawyer in southwest Georgia and the +brightest son of Watson County." + +The doctor looks kind of lazy and Bill Harden, and back agin at Will, +the chairman, and smiles out of the corner of his mouth. Then he says, +sort of taking in the rest of the crowd with his remark, like them two +standing there paying each other compliments wasn't nothing but a joke: + +"I hope neither of you will take it too much to heart if I'm not +impressed by your sense of justice--or your friend's ability." + +"Then," said Will, "I take it that you intend to act as your own +counsel?" + +"You may take it," says the doctor, rousing of himself up, "you may take +it--from me--that I refuse to recognize you and your crowd as a court of +any kind; that I know nothing of the silly accusations against me; +that I find no reason at all why I should take the trouble of making a +defence before an armed mob that can only mean one of two things." + +"One of two things?" says Will. + +"Yes," says the doctor, very quiet, but raising his voice a little and +looking him hard in the eyes. "You and your gang can mean only one of +two things. Either a bad joke, or else--" + +And he stopped a second, leaning forward in his chair, with the look of +half raising out of it, so as to bring out the word very decided-- + +"MURDER!" + +The way he done it left that there word hanging in the room, so you +could almost see it and almost feel it there, like it was a thing that +had to be faced and looked at and took into account. They all felt it +that-a-way, too; fur they wasn't a sound fur a minute. Then Will says: + +"We don't plan murder, and you'll find this ain't a joke. And since you +refuse to accept counsel--" + +Jest then Buck Hightower interrupts him by yelling out, "I make a motion +Billy Harden be prosecuting attorney, then. Let's hurry this thing +along!" And several started to applaud, and call fur Billy Harden to +prosecute. But Will, he pounded down the applause agin, and says: + +"I was about to suggest that Mr. Harden might be prevailed upon to +accept that task." + +"Yes," says the doctor, very gentle and easy. "Quite so! I fancied +myself that Mr. Harden came along with the idea of making a speech +either for or against." And he grinned at Billy Harden in a way that +seemed to make him wild, though he tried not to show it. Somehow the +doctor seemed to be all keyed up, instead of scared, like a feller +that's had jest enough to drink to give him a fighting edge. + +"Mr. Chairman," says Billy Harden, flushing up and stuttering jest a +little, "I b-beg leave to d-d-decline." + +"What," says the doctor, sort of playing with Billy with his eyes and +grin, and turning like to let the whole crowd in on the joke, "DECLINE? +The eminent gentleman declines! And he is going to sit down, too, with +all that speech bottled up in him! O Demosthenes!" he says, "you have +lost your pebble in front of all Greece." + +Several grinned at Billy Harden as he set down, and three or four +laughed outright. I guess about half of them there knowed him fur a wind +bag, and some wasn't sorry to see him joshed. But I seen what the doctor +was trying to do. He knowed he was in an awful tight place, and he was +feeling that crowd's pulse, so to speak. He had been talking to crowds +fur twenty years, and he knowed the kind of sudden turns they will take, +and how to take advantage of 'em. He was planning and figgering in his +mind all the time jest what side to ketch 'em on, and how to split up +the one, solid crowd-mind into different minds. But the little bit of +a laugh he turned against Billy Harden was only on the surface, like a +straw floating on a whirlpool. These men was here fur business. + +Buck Hightower jumps up and says: + +"Will, I'm getting tired of this court foolishness. The question is, +Does this man come into this county and do what he has done and get out +again? We know all about him. He sneaked in here and gave out he was +here to turn the niggers white--that he was some kind of a new-fangled +Jesus sent especially to niggers, which is blasphemy in itself--and +he's got 'em stirred up. They're boilin' and festerin' with notions of +equality till we're lucky if we don't have to lynch a dozen of 'em, +like they did in Atlanta last summer, to get 'em back into their places +again. Do we save ourselves more trouble by stringing him up as a +warning to the negroes? Or do we invite trouble by turning him loose? +Which? All it needs is a vote." + +And he set down agin. You could see he had made a hit with the boys. +They was a kind of a growl rolled around the room. The feelings in that +place was getting stronger and stronger. I was scared, but trying not to +show it. My fingers kept feeling around in my pocket fur something that +wasn't there. But my brain couldn't remember what my fingers was feeling +fur. Then it come on me sudden it was a buckeye I picked up in the +woods in Indiany one day, and I had lost it. I ain't superstitious about +buckeyes or horse-shoes, but remembering I had lost it somehow made me +feel worse. But Doctor Kirby had a good holt on himself; his face was +a bit redder'n usual, and his eyes was sparkling, and he was both eager +and watchful. When Buck Hightower sets down the chairman clears his +throat like he is going to speak. But-- + +"Just a moment," says Doctor Kirby, getting on his feet, and taking +a step toward the chairman. And the way he stopped and stood made +everybody look at him. Then he went on: + +"Once more," he says, "I call the attention of every man present to the +fact that what the last speaker proposes is--" + +And then he let 'em have that word agin, full in their faces, to think +about-- + +"MURDER! Merely murder." + +He was bound they shouldn't get away from that word and what it stood +fur. And every man there DID think, too, fur they was another little +pause. And not one of 'em looked at another one fur a minute. Doctor +Kirby leaned forward from the platform, running his eyes over the crowd, +and jest natcherally shoved that word into the room so hard with his +mind that every mind there had to take it in. + +But as he held 'em to it they come a bang from one of the windows. It +broke the charm. Fur everybody jumped. I jumped myself. When the end +of the world comes and the earth busts in the middle, it won't sound no +louder than that bang did. It was a wooden shutter. The wind was rising +outside, and it flew open and whacked agin' the building. + +Then a big, heavy-set man that hadn't spoke before riz up from one of +the hind seats, like he had heard a dare to fight, and walked slowly +down toward the front. He had a red face, which was considerable +pock-marked, and very deep-set eyes, and a deep voice. + +"Since when," he says, taking up his stand a dozen feet or so in front +of the doctor, "since when has any civilization refused to commit murder +when murder was necessary for its protection?" + +One of the top glasses of that window was out, and with the shutter open +they come a breeze through that fluttered some strips of dirty-coloured +papers, fly-specked and dusty and spider-webbed, that hung on strings +acrost the room, jest below the ceiling. I guess they had been left over +from some Christmas doings. + +"My friend," said the pock-marked man to the doctor--and the funny thing +about it was he didn't talk unfriendly when he said it--"the word you +insist on is just a WORD, like any other word." + +They was a spider rousted out of his web by that disturbance among the +strings and papers. He started down from above on jest one string of +web, seemingly spinning part of it out of himself as he come, the way +they do. I couldn't keep my eyes off'n him. + +"Murder," says the doctor, "is a thing." + +"It is a WORD," says the other man, "FOR a thing. For a thing which +sometimes seems necessary. Lynching, war, execution, murder--they are +all words for different ways of wiping out human life. Killing sometimes +seems wrong, and sometimes right. But right or wrong, and with one word +or another tacked to it, it is DONE when a community wants to get rid of +something dangerous to it." + +That there spider was a squat, ugly-looking devil, hunched up on his +string amongst all his crooked legs. The wind would come in little +puffs, and swing him a little way toward the doctor's head, and then +toward the pock-marked man's head, back and forth and back and forth, +between them two as they spoke. It looked to me like he was listening to +what they said and waiting fur something. + +"Murder," says the doctor, "is murder--illegal killing--and you can't +make anything else out of it, or talk anything else into it." + +It come to me all to oncet that that ugly spider was swinging back and +forth like the pendulum on a clock, and marking time. I wondered how +much time they was left in the world. + +"It would be none the less a murder," said the pock-marked man, "if you +were to be hanged after a trial in some county court. Society had been +obliged to deny the privilege of committing murder to the individual and +reserve it for the community. If our communal sense says you should die, +the thing is neither better nor worse than if a sheriff hanged you." + +"I am not to be hanged by a sheriff," says the doctor, very cool and +steady, "because I have committed no crime. I am not to be killed by you +because you dare not, in spite of all you say, outrage the law to that +extent." + +And they looked each other in the eyes so long and hard that every one +else in the schoolhouse held their breath. + +"DARE not?" says the pock-marked man. And he reached forward slow and +took that spider in his hand, and crushed it there, and wiped his hand +along his pants leg. "Dare not? YES, BUT WE DARE. The only question for +us men here is whether we dare to let you go free." + +"Your defence of lynching," says Doctor Kirby, "shows that you, at +least, are a man who can think. Tell me what I am accused of?" + +And then the trial begun in earnest. + + + + + +CHAPTER XX + + +The doctor acted as his own lawyer, and the pock-marked man, whose name +was Grimes, as the lawyer agin us. You could see that crowd had made up +its mind before-hand, and was only giving us what they called a trial +to satisfy their own conscience. But the fight was betwixt Grimes and +Doctor Kirby the hull way through. + +One witness was a feller that had been in the hotel at Cottonville the +night we struck that place. We had drunk some of his licker. + +"This man admitted himself that he was here to turn the niggers white," +said the witness. + +Doctor Kirby had told 'em what kind of medicine he was selling. We both +remembered it. We both had to admit it. + +The next witness was the feller that run the tavern at Bairdstown. He +had with him, fur proof, a bottle of the stuff we had brought with us. +He told how we had went away and left it there that very morning. + +Another witness told of seeing the doctor talking in the road to that +there nigger bishop. Which any one could of seen it easy enough, fur +they wasn't nothing secret about it. We had met him by accident. But you +could see it made agin us. + +Another witness says he lives not fur from that Big Bethel church. +He says he has noticed the niggers was worked up about something fur +several days. They are keeping the cause of it secret. He went over to +Big Bethel church the night before, he said, and he listened outside one +of the windows to find out what kind of doctrine that crazy bishop was +preaching to them. They was all so worked up, and the power was with +'em so strong, and they was so excited they wouldn't of hearn an army +marching by. He had hearn the bishop deliver a message to his flock from +the Messiah. He had seen him go wild, afterward, and preach an equality +sermon. That was the lying message the old bishop had took to 'em, and +that Sam had told us about. But how was this feller to know it was a +lie? He believed in it, and he told it in a straight-ahead way that +would make any one see he was telling the truth as he thought it to be. + +Then they was six other witnesses. All had been in the gang that lynched +the nigger that day. That nigger had confessed his crime before he was +lynched. He had told how the niggers had been expecting of a Messiah fur +several days, and how the doctor was him. He had died a-preaching and +a-prophesying and thinking to the last minute maybe he was going to get +took up in a chariot of fire. + +Things kept looking worse and worse fur us. They had the story as the +niggers thought it to be. They thought the doctor had deliberately +represented himself as such, instead of which the doctor had refused to +be represented as that there Messiah. More than that, he had never +sold a bottle of that medicine. He had flung the idea of selling it way +behind him jest as soon as he seen what the situation really was in the +black counties. He had even despised himself fur going into it. But the +looks of things was all the other way. + +Then the doctor give his own testimony. + +"Gentlemen," he says, "it is true that I came down here to try out that +stuff in the bottle there, and see if a market could be worked up +for it. It is also true that, after I came here and discovered what +conditions were, I decided not to sell the stuff. I didn't sell any. +About this Messiah business I know very little more than you do. The +situation was created, and I blundered into it. I sent the negroes word +that I was not the person they expected. The bishop lied to them. That +is my whole story." + +But they didn't believe him. Fur it was jest what he would of said if he +had been guilty, as they thought him. And then Grimes gets up and says: + +"Gentlemen, I demand for this prisoner the penalty of death. + +"He has lent himself to a situation calculated to disturb in this county +the peaceful domination of the black race by the white. + +"He is a Northern man. But that is not against him. If this were a case +where leniency were possible, it should count for him, as indicating an +ignorance of the gravity of conditions which confront us here, every day +and all the time. If he were my own brother, I would still demand his +death. + +"Lest he should think my attitude dictated by any lingering sectional +prejudice, I may tell him what you all know--you people among whom I +have lived for thirty years--that I am a Northern man myself. + +"The negro who was lynched to-day might never have committed the crime +he did had not the wild, disturbing dream of equality been stirring in +his brain. Every speech, every look, every action which encourages that +idea is a crime. In this county, where the blacks outnumber us, we must +either rule as masters or be submerged. + +"This man is still believed by the negroes to possess some miraculous +power. He is therefore doubly dangerous. As a sharp warning to them +he must die. His death will do more toward ending the trouble he has +prepared than the death of a dozen negroes. + +"And as God is my witness, I speak and act not through passion, but from +the dictates of conscience." + +He meant it, Grimes did. And when he set down they was a hush. And then +Will, the chairman, begun to call the roll. + +I never been much of a person to have bad dreams or nightmares or things +like that. But ever since that night in that schoolhouse, if I do have a +nightmare, it takes the shape of that roll being called. Every word was +like a spade grating and gritting in damp gravel when a grave is dug. It +sounded so to me. + +"Samuel Palmour, how do you vote?" that chairman would say. + +Samuel Palmour, or whoever it was, would hist himself to his feet, and +he would say something like this: + +"Death." + +He wouldn't say it joyous. He wouldn't say it mad. He would be pale when +he said it, mebby--and mebby trembling. But he would say it like it was +a duty he had to do, that couldn't be got out of. That there trial had +lasted so long they wasn't hot blood left in nobody jest then--only cold +blood, and determination and duty and principle. + +"Buck Hightower," says the chairman, "how do you vote?" + +"Death," says Buck; "death for the man. But say, can't we jest LICK the +kid and turn him loose?" + +And so it went, up one side the room and down the other. Grimes had +showed 'em all their duty. Not but what they had intended to do it +before Grimes spoke. But he had put it in such a way they seen it was +something with even MORE principle to it than they had thought it was +before. + +"Billy Harden," says the chairman, "how do you vote?" Billy was the last +of the bunch. And most had voted fur death. Billy, he opened his mouth +and he squared himself away to orate some. But jest as he done so, the +door opened and Old Daddy Withers stepped in. He had been gone so long +I had plumb forgot him. Right behind him was a tall, spare feller, with +black eyes and straight iron-gray hair. + +"I vote," says Billy Harden, beginning of his speech, "I vote for death. +The reason upon which I base--" + +But Doctor Kirby riz up and interrupted him. + +"You are going to kill me," he said. He was pale but he was quiet, and +he spoke as calm and steady as he ever done in his life. "You are going +to kill me like the crowd of sneaking cowards that you are. And you ARE +such cowards that you've talked two hours about it, instead of doing it. +And I'll tell you why you've talked so much: because no ONE of you alone +would dare to do it, and every man of you in the end wants to go away +thinking that the other fellow had the biggest share in it. And no ONE +of you will fire the gun or pull the rope--you'll do it ALL TOGETHER, in +a crowd, because each one will want to tell himself he only touched the +rope, or that HIS GUN missed. + +"I know you, by God!" he shouted, flushing up into a passion--and it +brought blood into their faces, too--"I know you right down to your +roots, better than you know yourselves." + +He was losing hold of himself, and roaring like a bull and flinging out +taunts that made 'em squirm. If he wanted the thing over quick, he +was taking jest the way to warm 'em up to it. But I don't think he was +figgering on anything then, or had any plan up his sleeve. He had made +up his mind he was going to die, and he was so mad because he couldn't +get in one good lick first that he was nigh crazy. I looked to see him +lose all sense in a minute, and rush amongst them guns and end it in a +whirl. + +But jest as I figgered he was on his tiptoes fur that, and was getting +up my own sand, he throwed a look my way. And something sobered him. He +stood there digging his finger nails into the palms of his hands fur a +minute, to get himself back. And when he spoke he was sort of husky. + +"That boy there," he says. And then he stops and kind of chokes up. And +in a minute he was begging fur me. He tells 'em I wasn't mixed up in +nothing. He wouldn't of done it fur himself, but he begged fur me. +Nobody had paid much attention to me from the first, except Buck +Hightower had put in a good word fur me. But somehow the doctor had got +the crowd listening to him agin, and they all looked at me. It got next +to me. I seen by the way they was looking, and I felt it in the air, +that they was going to let me off. + +But Doctor Kirby, he had always been my friend. It made me sore fur to +see him thinking I wasn't with him. So I says: + +"You better can that line of talk. They don't get you without they get +me, too. You orter know I ain't a quitter. You give me a pain." + +And the doctor and me stood and looked at each other fur a minute. He +grinned at me, and all of a sudden we was neither one of us much giving +a whoop, fur it had come to us both at oncet what awful good friends we +was with each other. + +But jest then they come a slow, easy-going sort of a voice from the +back part of the room. That feller that had come in along with Old Daddy +Withers come sauntering down the middle aisle, fumbling in his coat +pocket, and speaking as he come. + +"I've been hearing a great deal of talk about killing people in the last +few minutes," he says. + +Everybody rubbered at him. + + + + + +CHAPTER XXI + + +There was something sort of careless in his voice, like he had jest +dropped in to see a show, and it had come to him sudden that he would +enjoy himself fur a minute or two taking part in it. But he wasn't going +to get TOO worked up about it, either, fur the show might end by making +him tired, after all. + +As he come down the aisle fumbling in his coat, he stopped and begun to +slap all his pockets. Then his face cleared, and he dived into a +vest pocket. Everybody looked like they thought he was going to pull +something important out of it. But he didn't. All he pulled out was jest +one of these here little ordinary red books of cigarette papers. Then +he dived fur some loose tobacco, and begun to roll one. I noticed his +fingers was long and white and slim and quick. But not excited fingers; +only the kind that seems to say as much as talking says. + +He licked his cigarette, and then he sauntered ahead, looking up. As +he looked up the light fell full on his face fur the first time. He had +high cheek bones and iron-gray hair which he wore rather long, and very +black eyes. As he lifted his head and looked close at Doctor Kirby, a +change went over both their faces. Doctor Kirby's mouth opened like he +was going to speak. So did the other feller's. One side of his mouth +twitched into something that was too surprised to be a grin, and one of +his black eyebrows lifted itself up at the same time. But neither him +nor Doctor Kirby spoke. + +He stuck his cigarette into his mouth and turned sideways from Doctor +Kirby, like he hadn't noticed him pertic'ler. And he turns to the +chairman. + +"Will," he says. And everybody listens. You could see they all knowed +him, and that they all respected him too, by the way they was waiting +to hear what he would say to Will. But they was all impatient and eager, +too, and they wouldn't wait very long, although now they was hushing +each other and leaning forward. + +"Will," he says, very polite and quiet, "can I trouble you for a match?" + +And everybody let go their breath. Some with a snort, like they knowed +they was being trifled with, and it made 'em sore. His eyebrows goes up +agin, like it was awful impolite in folks to snort that-away, and he is +surprised to hear it. And Will, he digs fur a match and finds her and +passes her over. He lights his cigarette, and he draws a good inhale, +and he blows the smoke out like it done him a heap of good. He sees +something so interesting in that little cloud of smoke that everybody +else looks at it, too. + +"Do I understand," he says, "that some one is going to lynch some one, +or something of that sort?" + +"That's about the size of it, colonel," says Will. + +"Um!" he says, "What for?" + +Then everybody starts to talk all at once, half of them jumping to their +feet, and making a perfect hullabaloo of explanations you couldn't get +no sense out of. In the midst of which the colonel takes a chair and +sets down and crosses one leg over the other, swinging the loose foot +and smiling very patient. Which Will remembers he is chairman of that +meeting and pounds fur order. + +"Thank you, Will," says the colonel, like getting order was a personal +favour to him. Then Billy Harden gets the floor, and squares away fur a +longwinded speech telling why. But Buck Hightower jumps up impatient and +says: + +"We've been through all that, Billy. That man there has been tried and +found guilty, colonel, and there's only one thing to do--string him up." + +"Buck, _I_ wouldn't," says the colonel, very mild. + +But that there man Grimes gets up very sober and steady and says: + +"Colonel, you don't understand." And he tells him the hull thing as +he believed it to be--why they has voted the doctor must die, the room +warming up agin as he talks, and the colonel listening very interested. +But you could see by the looks of him that colonel wouldn't never be +interested so much in anything but himself, and his own way of doing +things. In a way he was like a feller that enjoys having one part +of himself stand aside and watch the play-actor game another part of +himself is acting out. + +"Grimes," he says, when the pock-marked man finishes, "I wouldn't. I +really wouldn't." + +"Colonel," says Grimes, showing his knowledge that they are all standing +solid behind him, "WE WILL!" + +"Ah," says the colonel, his eyebrows going up, and his face lighting +up like he is really beginning to enjoy himself and is glad he come, +"indeed!" + +"Yes," says Grimes, "WE WILL!" + +"But not," says the colonel, "before we have talked the thing over a +bit, I hope?" + +"There's been too much talk here now," yells Buck Hightower, "talk, +talk, till, by God, I'm sick of it! Where's that ROPE?" + +"But, listen to him--listen to the colonel!" some one else sings +out. And then they was another hullabaloo, some yelling "no!" And the +colonel, very patient, rolls himself another smoke and lights it from +the butt of the first one. But finally they quiets down enough so Will +can put it to a vote. Which vote goes fur the colonel to speak. + +"Boys," he begins very quiet, "I wouldn't lynch this man. In the first +place it will look bad in the newspapers, and--" + +"The newspapers be d---d!" says some one. + +"And in the second place," goes on the colonel, "it would be against the +law, and--" + +"The law be d----d!" says Buck Hightower. + +"There's a higher law!" says Grimes. + +"Against the law," says the colonel, rising up and throwing away his +cigarette, and getting interested. + +"I know how you feel about all this negro business. And I feel the same +way. We all know that we must be the negros' masters. Grimes there found +that out when he came South, and the idea pleased him so he hasn't been +able to talk about anything else since. Grimes has turned into what the +Northern newspapers think a typical Southerner is. + +"Boys, this thing of lynching gets to be a habit. There's been a negro +lynched to-day. He's the third in this county in five years. They all +needed killing. If the thing stopped there I wouldn't care so much. But +the habit of illegal killing grows when it gets started. + +"It's grown on you. You're fixing to lynch your first white man now. If +you do, you'll lynch another easier. You'll lynch one for murder and the +next for stealing hogs and the next because he's unpopular and the next +because he happens to dun you for a debt. And in five years life will +be as cheap in Watson County as it is in a New York slum where they feed +immigrants to the factories. You'll all be toting guns and grudges and +trying to lynch each other. + +"The place to stop the thing is where it starts. You can't have it both +ways--you've got to stand pat on the law, or else see the law spit on +right and left, in the end, and NOBODY safe. It's either law or--" + +"But," says Grimes, "there's a higher law than that on the statute +books. There's--" + +"There's a lot of flub-dub," says the colonel, "about higher laws and +unwritten laws. But we've got high enough law written if we live up to +it. There's--" + +"Colonel Tom Buckner," says Buck Hightower, "what kind of law was it +when you shot Ed Howard fifteen years ago? What--" + +"You're out of order," says the chairman, "Colonel Buckner has the +floor. And I'll remind you, Buck Hightower, that, on the occasion you +drag in, Colonel Buckner didn't do any talking about higher laws or +unwritten laws. He sent word to the sheriff to come and get him if he +dared." + +"Boys," says the colonel, "I'm preaching you higher doctrine than I've +lived by, and I've made no claim to be better or more moral than any of +you. I'm not. I'm in the same boat with all of you, and I tell you +it's up to ALL of us to stop lynchings in this county--to set our faces +against it. I tell you--" + +"Is that all you've got to say to us, colonel?" + +The question come out of a group that had drawed nearer together +whilst the colonel was talking. They was tired of listening to talk and +arguments, and showed it. + +The colonel stopped speaking short when they flung that question at him. +His face changed. He turned serious all over. And he let loose jest one +word: + +"NO!" + +Not very loud, but with a ring in it that sounded like danger. And he +got 'em waiting agin, and hanging on his words. + +"No!" he repeats, louder, "not all. I have this to say to you--" + +And he paused agin, pointing one long white finger at the crowd-- + +"IF YOU LYNCH THIS MAN YOU MUST KILL ME FIRST!" + +I couldn't get away from thinking, as he stood there making them take +that in, that they was something like a play-actor about him. But he was +in earnest, and he would play it to the end, fur he liked the feelings +it made circulate through his frame. And they saw he was in earnest. + +"You'll lynch him, will you?" he says, a kind of passion getting into +his voice fur the first time, and his eyes glittering. "You think you +will? Well, you WON'T! + +"You won't because _I_ say NOT. Do you hear? I came here to-night to +save him. + +"You might string HIM up and not be called to account for it. But how +about ME?" + +He took a step forward, and, looking from face to face with a dare in +his eyes, he went on: + +"Is there a man among you fool enough to think you could kill Tom +Buckner and not pay for it?" + +He let 'em all think of that for jest another minute before he spoke +agin. His face was as white as a piece of paper, and his nostrils was +working, but everything else about him was quiet. He looked the master +of them all as he stood there, Colonel Tom Buckner did--straight and +splendid and keen. And they felt the danger in him, and they felt jest +how fur he would go, now he was started. + +"You didn't want to listen to me a bit ago," he said. "Now you must. +Listen and choose. You can't kill that man unless you kill me too. + +"TRY IT, IF YOU THINK YOU CAN!" + +He reached over and took from the teacher's desk the sheet of paper Will +had used to check off the name of each man and how he voted. He held it +up in front of him and every man looked at it. + +"You know me," he says. "You know I do not break my word. And I promise +you that unless you do kill me here tonight--yes, as God is my witness, +I THREATEN you--I will spend every dollar I own and every atom of +influence I possess to bring each one of you to justice for that man's +murder." + +They knowed, that crowd did, that killing a man like Colonel Buckner--a +leader and a big man in that part of the state--was a different +proposition from killing a stranger like Doctor Kirby. The sense of what +it would mean to kill Colonel Buckner was sinking into 'em, and showing +on their faces. And no one could look at him standing there, with his +determination blazing out of him, and not understand that unless they +did kill him as well as Doctor Kirby he'd do jest what he said. + +"I told you," he said, not raising his voice, but dropping it, and +making it somehow come creeping nearer to every one by doing that, "I +told you the first white man you lynched would lead to other lynchings. +Let me show you what you're up against to-night. + +"Kill the man and the boy here, and you must kill me. Kill me, and you +must kill Old Man Withers, too." + +Every one turned toward the door as he mentioned Old Man Withers. He had +never been very far into the room. + +"Oh, he's gone," said Colonel Tom, as they turned toward the door, and +then looked at each other. "Gone home. Gone home with the name of every +man present. Don't you see you'd have to kill Old Man Withers too, if +you killed me? And then, HIS WIFE! And then--how many more? + +"Do you see it widen--that pool of blood? Do you see it spread and +spread?" + +He looked down at the floor, like he really seen it there. He had 'em +going now. They showed it. + +"If you shed one drop," he went on, "you must shed more. Can't you see +it--widening and deepening, widening and deepening, till you're wading +knee deep in it--till it climbs to your waists--till it climbs to your +throats and chokes you?" + +It was a horrible idea, the way he played that there pool of blood and +he shuddered like he felt it climbing up himself. And they felt it. A +few men can't kill a hull, dern county and get away with it. The way he +put it that's what they was up against. + +"Now," says Colonel Tom, "what man among you wants to start it?" + +Nobody moved. He waited a minute. Still nobody moved. They all looked +at him. It was awful plain jest where they would have to begin. It was +awful plain jest what it would all end up in. And I guess when they +looked at him standing there, so fine and straight and splendid, it jest +seemed plumb unpossible to make a move. There was a spirit in him that +couldn't be killed. Doctor Kirby said afterward that was what come of +being real "quality," which was what Colonel Tom was--it was that in him +that licked 'em. It was the best part of their own selves, and the best +part of their own country, speaking out of him to them, that done it. +Mebby so. Anyhow, after a minute more of that strain, a feller by the +door picks up his gun out of the corner with a scrape, and hists it to +his shoulder and walks out. And then Colonel Tom says to Will, with his +eyebrow going up, and that one-sided grin coming onto his face agin: + +"Will, perhaps a motion to adjourn would be in order?" + + + + + +CHAPTER XXII + + +So many different kinds of feeling had been chasing around inside of me +that I had numb spots in my emotional ornaments and intellectual organs. +The room cleared out of everybody but Doctor Kirby and Colonel Tom and +me. But the sound of the crowd going into the road, and their footsteps +dying away, and then after that their voices quitting, all made but very +little sense to me. I could scarcely realize that the danger was over. + +I hadn't been paying much attention to Doctor Kirby while the colonel +was making that grandstand play of his'n, and getting away with it. +Doctor Kirby was setting in his chair with his head sort of sunk on his +chest. I guess he was having a hard time himself to realize that all +the danger was past. But mebby it wasn't that--he looked like he might +really of forgot where he was fur a minute, and might be thinking of +something that had happened a long time ago. + +The colonel was leaning up agin the teacher's desk, smoking and looking +at Doctor Kirby. Doctor Kirby turns around toward the colonel. + +"You have saved my life," he says, getting up out of his chair, like +he had a notion to step over and thank him fur it, but was somehow not +quite sure how that would be took. + +The colonel looks at him silent fur a second, and then he says, without +smiling: + +"Do you flatter yourself it was because I think it worth anything?" + +The doctor don't answer, and then the colonel says: + +"Has it occurred to you that I may have saved it because I want it?" + +"WANT it?" + +"Do you know of any one who has a better right to TAKE it than I have? +Perhaps I saved it because it BELONGS to me--do you suppose I want any +one else to kill what I have the best right to kill?" + +"Tom," says Doctor Kirby, really puzzled, to judge from his actions, "I +don't understand what makes you say you have the right to take my life." + +"Dave, where is my sister buried?" asts Colonel Tom. + +"Buried?" says Doctor Kirby. "My God, Tom, is she DEAD?" + +"I ask you," says Colonel Tom. + +"And I ask you," says Doctor Kirby. + +And they looked at each other, both wonderized, and trying to +understand. And it busted on me all at oncet who them two men really +was. + +I orter knowed it sooner. When the colonel was first called Colonel Tom +Buckner it struck me I knowed the name, and knowed something about it. +But things which was my own consarns was attracting my attention so hard +I couldn't remember what it was I orter know about that name. Then I +seen him and Doctor Kirby knowed each other when they got that first +square look. That orter of put me on the track, that and a lot of other +things that had happened before. But I didn't piece things together like +I orter done. + +It wasn't until Colonel Tom Buckner called him "Dave" and ast him about +his sister that I seen who Doctor Kirby must really be. + +HE WAS THAT THERE DAVID ARMSTRONG! + +And the brother of the girl he had run off with had jest saved his life. +By the way he was talking, he had saved it simply because he thought he +had the first call on what to do with it. + +"Where is she?" asts Colonel Tom. + +"I ask you," says Doctor Kirby--or David Armstrong--agin. + +Well, I thinks to myself, here is where Daniel puts one acrost the +plate. And I breaks in: + +"You both got another guess coming," I says. "She ain't buried +anywheres. She ain't even dead. She's living in a little town in Indiany +called Athens--or she was about eighteen months ago." + +They both looks at me like they thinks I am crazy. + +"What do you know about it?" says Doctor Kirby. + +"Are you David Armstrong?" says I. + +"Yes," says he. + +"Well," I says, "you spent four or five days within a stone's throw of +her a year ago last summer, and she knowed it was you and hid herself +away from you." + +Then I tells them about how I first happened to hear of David Armstrong, +and all I had hearn from Martha. And how I had stayed at the Davises +in Tennessee and got some more of the same story from George, the old +nigger there. + +"But, Danny," says the doctor, "why didn't you tell me all this?" + +I was jest going to say that not knowing he was that there David +Armstrong I didn't think it any of his business, when Colonel Tom, he +says to Doctor Kirby--I mean to David Armstrong: + +"Why should you be concerned as to her whereabouts? You ruined her life +and then deserted her." + +Doctor Kirby--I mean David Armstrong--stands there with the blood going +up his face into his forehead slow and red. + +"Tom," he says, "you and I seem to be working at cross purposes. Maybe +it would help some if you would tell me just how badly you think I +treated Lucy." + +"You ruined her life, and then deserted her," says Colonel Tom agin, +looking at him hard. + +"I DIDN'T desert her," said Doctor Kirby. "She got disgusted and left +ME. Left me without a chance to explain myself. As far as ruining her +life is concerned, I suppose that when I married her--" + +"Married her!" cries out the colonel. And David Armstrong stares at him +with his mouth open. + +"My God! Tom," he says, "did you think--?" + +And they both come to another standstill. And then they talked some more +and only got more mixed up than ever. Fur the doctor thinks she has left +him, and Colonel Tom thinks he has left her. + +"Tom," says the doctor, "suppose you let me tell my story, and you'll +see why Lucy left me." + +Him and Colonel Tom had been chums together when they went through +Princeton, it seems--I picked that up from the talk and some of his +story I learned afterward. He had come from Ohio in the beginning, and +his dad had had considerable money. Which he had enjoyed spending of it, +and when he was a young feller never liked to work at nothing else. It +suited him. Colonel Tom, he was considerable like him in that way. So +they was good pals when they was to that school together. They both quit +about the same time. A couple of years after that, when they was +both about twenty-five or six years old, they run acrost each other +accidental in New York one autumn. + +The doctor, he was there figgering on going to work at something or +other, but they was so many things to do he was finding it hard to make +a choice. His father was dead by that time, and looking fur a job in +New York, the way he had been doing it, was awful expensive, and he was +running short of money. His father had let him spend so much whilst +he was alive he was very disappointed to find out he couldn't keep on +forever looking fur work that-a-way. + +So Colonel Tom says why not come down home into Tennessee with him fur +a while, and they will both try and figger out what he orter go to work +at. It was the fall of the year, and they was purty good hunting around +there where Colonel Tom lived, and Dave hadn't never been South any, and +so he goes. He figgers he better take a good, long vacation, anyhow. Fur +if he goes to work that winter or the next spring, and ties up with some +job that keeps him in an office, there may be months and months pass by +before he has another chance at a vacation. That is the worst part of a +job--I found that out myself--you never can tell when you are going to +get shut of it, once you are fool enough to start in. + +In Tennessee he had met Miss Lucy. Which her wedding to Prent McMakin +was billed fur to come off about the first of November, jest a month +away. + +"I don't know whether I ever told you or not," says the doctor, "but I +was engaged to be married myself, Tom, when I went down to your place. +That was what started all the trouble. + +"You know engagements are like vaccination--sometimes they take, and +sometimes they don't. Of course, I had thought at one time I was in love +with this girl I was engaged to. When I found out I wasn't, I should +have told her so right away. But I didn't. I thought that she would +get tired of me after a while and turn me loose. I gave her plenty of +chances to turn me loose. I wanted her to break the engagement instead +of me. But she wouldn't take the hints. She hung on like an Ohio Grand +Army veteran to a country post-office. About half the time I didn't read +her letters, and about nineteen twentieths of the time I didn't answer +them. They say hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. But it isn't +so--it makes them all the fonder of you. I got into the habit of +thinking that while Emma might be engaged to me, I wasn't engaged to +Emma. Not but what Emma was a nice girl, you know, but-- + +"Well, I met Lucy. We fell in love with each other. It just happened. +I kept intending to write to the other girl and tell her plainly that +everything was off. But I kept postponing it. It seemed like a deuce of +a hard job to tackle. + +"But, finally, I did write her. That was the very day Lucy promised to +throw Prent McMakin over and marry me. You know how determined all your +people were that Lucy should marry McMakin, Tom. They had brought her up +with the idea that she was going to, and, of course, she was bored with +him for that reason. + +"We decided the best plan would be to slip away quietly and get married. +We knew it would raise a row. But there was bound to be a row anyhow +when they found she intended to marry me instead of McMakin. So we +figured we might just as well be away from there. + +"We left your place early on the morning of October 31, 1888--do you +remember the date, Tom? We took the train for Clarksville, Tennessee, +and got there about two o'clock that afternoon. I suppose you have been +in that interesting centre of the tobacco industry. If you have you may +remember that the courthouse of Montgomery County is right across the +street from the best hotel. I got a license and a preacher without any +trouble, and we were married in the hotel parlour that afternoon. One of +the hotel clerks and the county clerk himself were the witnesses. + +"We went to Cincinnati and from there to Chicago. There we got rooms out +on the South Side--Hyde Park, they called it. And I got me a job. I had +some money left, but not enough to buy kohinoors and race-horses with. +Beside, I really wanted to get to work--wanted it for the first time +in my life. You remember young Clayton in our class? He and some other +enterprising citizens had a building and loan association. Such things +are no doubt immoral, but I went to work for him. + +"We had been in Chicago a week when Lucy wrote home what she had done, +and begged forgiveness for being so abrupt about it. At least, I suppose +that is what she wrote. It was--" + +"I remember exactly what she wrote," says Colonel Tom. + +"I never knew exactly," says the doctor. "The same mail that brought +word from you that your grandfather had had some sort of a stroke, as a +consequence of our elopement, brought also two letters from Emma. They +had been forwarded from New York to Tennessee, and you had forwarded +them to Chicago. + +"Those letters began the trouble. You see, I hadn't told Emma when I +wrote breaking off the engagement that I was going to get married the +next day. And Emma hadn't received my letter, or else had made up her +mind to ignore it. Anyhow, those letters were regular love-letters. + +"I hadn't really read one of Emma's letters for months. But somehow +I couldn't help reading these. I had forgotten what a gift for the +expression of sentiment Emma had. She fairly revelled in it, Tom. Those +letters were simply writhing with clinging female adjectives. They +SQUIRMED with affection. + +"You may remember that Lucy was a rather jealous sort of a person. +Right in the midst of her alarm and grief and self-reproach over her +grandfather, and in the midst of my efforts to comfort her, she spied +the feminine handwriting on those two letters. I had glanced through +them hurriedly, and laid them on the table. + +"Tom, I was in bad. The dates on them, you know, were so RECENT. I +didn't want Lucy to read them. But I didn't dare to ACT as if I didn't +want her to. So I handed them over. + +"I suppose--to a bride who had only been married a little more than a +week--and who had hurt her grandfather nearly to death in the marrying, +those letters must have sounded rather odd. I tried to explain. But +all my explanations only seemed to make the case worse for me. Lucy was +furiously jealous. We really had a devil of a row before we were through +with it. I tried to tell her that I loved no one but her. She pointed +out that I must have said much the same sort of thing to Emma. She said +she was almost as sorry for Emma as she was for herself. When Lucy +got through with me, Tom, I looked like thirty cents and felt like +twenty-five of that was plugged. + +"I didn't have sense enough to know that it was most of it grief over +her grandfather, and nerves and hysteria, and the fact that she was +only eighteen years old and lonely, and that being a bride had a certain +amount to do with it. She had told me that I was a beast, and made me +feel like one; and I took the whole thing hard and believed her. I made +a fine, five-act tragedy out of a jealous fit I might have softened into +comedy if I had had the wit. + +"I wasn't so very old myself, and I hadn't ever been married before. I +should have kept my mouth shut until it was all over, and then when she +began to cry I should have coaxed her up and made her feel like I was +the only solid thing to hang on to in the whole world. + +"But the bottom had dropped out of the universe for me. She had said she +hated me. I was fool enough to believe her. I went downtown and began +to drink. I come home late that night. The poor girl had been waiting up +for me--waiting for hours, and becoming more and more frightened when I +didn't show up. She was over her jealous fit, I suppose. If I had come +home in good shape, or in anything like it, we would have made up then +and there. But my condition stopped all that. I wasn't so drunk but that +I saw her face change when she let me in. She was disgusted. + +"In the morning I was sick and feverish. I was more than disgusted with +myself. I was in despair. If she had hated me before--and she had said +she did--what must she do now? It seemed to me that I had sunk so far +beneath her that it would take years to get back. It didn't seem worth +while making any plea for myself. You see, I was young and had serious +streaks all through me. So when she told me that she had written home +again, and was going back--was going to leave me, I didn't see that +it was only a bluff. I didn't see that she was really only waiting to +forgive me, if I gave her a chance. I started downtown to the building +and loan office, wondering when she would leave, and if there was +anything I could do to make her change her mind. I must repeat again +that I was a fool--that I needed only to speak one word, had I but known +it. + +"If I had gone straight to work, everything might have come around all +right even then. But I didn't. I had that what's-the-use feeling. And I +stopped in at the Palmer House bar to get something to sort of pull me +together. + +"While I was there, who should come up to the bar and order a drink but +Prent McMakin." + +"Yes!" says Colonel Tom, as near excited as he ever got. + +"Yes," says Armstrong, "nobody else. We saw each other in the mirror +behind the bar. I don't know whether you ever noticed it or not, Tom, +but McMakin's eyes had a way of looking almost like cross-eyes when he +was startled or excited. They were a good deal too near together at any +time. He gave me such a look when our eyes met in the mirror that, for +an instant, I thought that he intended to do me some mischief--shoot me, +you know, for taking his bride-to-be away from him, or some fool thing +like that. But as we turned toward each other I saw he had no intention +of that sort." + +"Hadn't he?" says Colonel Tom, mighty interested. + +"No," says the doctor, looking at Colonel Tom very puzzled, "did you +think he had?" + +"Yes, I did," says the colonel, right thoughtful. + +"On the contrary," says Armstrong, "we had a drink together. And he +congratulated me. Made me quite a little speech, in fact; one of the +flowery kind, you know, Tom, and said that he bore me no rancour, and +all that." + +"The deuce he did!" says Colonel Tom, very low, like he was talking to +himself. "And then what?" + +"Then," says the doctor, "then--let me see--it's all a long time ago, +you know, and McMakin's part in the whole thing isn't really important." + +"I'm not so sure it isn't important," says the colonel, "but go on." + +"Then," says Armstrong, "we had another drink together. In fact, a +lot of them. We got awfully friendly. And like a fool I told him of my +quarrel with Lucy." + +"LIKE a fool," says Colonel Tom, nodding his head. "Go on." + +"There isn't much more to tell," says the doctor, "except that I made +a worse idiot of myself yet, and left McMakin about two o'clock in the +afternoon, as near as I can recollect. Somewhere about ten o'clock that +night I went home. Lucy was gone. I haven't seen her since." + +"Dave," says Colonel Tom, "did McMakin happen to mention to you, that +day, just why he was in Chicago?" + +"I suppose so," says the doctor. "I don't know. Maybe not. That was +twenty years ago. Why?" + +"Because," says Colonel Tom, very grim and quiet, "because your first +thought as to his intention when he met you in the bar was MY idea +also. I thought he went to Chicago to settle with you. You see, I got to +Chicago that same afternoon." + +"The same day?" + +"Yes. We were to have come together. But I missed the train, and he got +there a day ahead of me. He was waiting at the hotel for me to join him, +and then we were going to look you up together. He found you first and I +never did find you." + +"But I don't exactly understand," says the doctor. "You say he had the +idea of shooting me." + +"I don't understand everything myself," says Colonel Tom. "But I do +understand that Prent McMakin must have played some sort of a two-faced +game. He never said a word to me about having seen you. + +"Listen," he goes on. "When you and Lucy ran away it nearly killed our +grandfather. In fact, it finally did kill him. When we got Lucy's letter +that told you were in Chicago I went up to bring her back home. We +didn't know what we were going to do, McMakin and I, but we were both +agreed that you needed killing. And he swore that he would marry Lucy +anyhow, even--" + +"MARRY HER!" sings out the doctor, "but we WERE married." + +"Dave," Colonel Tom says very slow and steady, "you keep SAYING you were +married. But it's strange--it's right STRANGE about that marriage." + +And he looked at the doctor hard and close, like he would drag the truth +out of him, and the doctor met his look free and open. You would of +thought Colonel Tom was saying with his look: "You MUST tell me the +truth." And the doctor with his was answering: "I HAVE told you the +truth." + +"But, Tom," says the doctor, "that letter she wrote you from Chicago +must--" + +"Do you know what Lucy wrote?" interrupts Colonel Tom. "I remember +exactly. It was simply: 'FORGIVE ME. I LOVED HIM SO. I AM HAPPY. I KNOW +IT IS WRONG, BUT I LOVE HIM SO YOU MUST FORGIVE ME.'" + +"But couldn't you tell from THAT we were married?" cries out the doctor. + +"She didn't mention it," says Colonel Tom. + +"She supposed that her own family had enough faith in her to take it for +granted," says the doctor, very scornful, his face getting red. + +"But wait, Dave," says Colonel Tom, quiet and cool. "Don't bluster with +me. There are still a lot of things to be explained. And that marriage +is one of them. + +"To go back a bit. You say you got to the house somewhere around ten +o'clock that evening and found Lucy gone. Do you remember the day of the +month?" + +"It was November 14, 1888." + +"Exactly," says Colonel Tom. "I got to Chicago at six o'clock of that +very day. And I went at once to the address in Lucy's letter. I got +there between seven and eight o'clock. She was gone. My thought was that +you must have got wind of my coming and persuaded her to leave with you +in order to avoid me--although I didn't see how you could know when I +would get there, either, when I thought it over." + +"And you have never seen her since," says Armstrong, pondering. + +"I HAVE seen her since," says Colonel Tom, "and that is one thing that +makes me say your story needs further explanation." + +"But where--when--did you see her?" asts the doctor, mighty excited. + +"I am coming to that. I went back home again. And in July of the next +year I heard from her." + +"Heard from her?" + +"By letter. She was in Galesburg, Illinois, if you know where that is. +She was living there alone. And she was almost destitute. I wrote her to +come home. She would not. But she had to live. I got rid of some of our +property in Tennessee, and took enough cash up there with me to fix her, +in a decent sort of way, for the rest of her life, and put it in the +bank. I was with her there for ten days; then I went back home to get +Aunt Lucy Davis to help me in another effort to persuade her to return. +But when I got back North with Aunt Lucy she had gone." + +"Gone?" + +"Yes, and when we returned without her to Tennessee there was a letter +telling us not to try to find her. We thought--I thought--that she might +have taken up with you once again." + +"But, my God! Tom," the doctor busts out, "you were with her ten days +there in Galesburg! Didn't she tell you then--couldn't you tell from the +way she acted--that she had married me?" + +"That's the odd thing, Dave," says the colonel, very slow and +thoughtful. "That's what is so very strange about it all. I merely +assumed by my attitude that you were not married, and she let me assume +it without a protest." + +"But did you ask her?" + +"Ask her? No. Can't you see that there was no reason why I should ask +her? I was sure. And being sure of it, naturally I didn't talk about it +to her. You can understand that I wouldn't, can't you? In fact, I never +mentioned you to her. She never mentioned you to me." + +"You must have mistaken her, Tom." + +"I don't think it's possible, Dave," said the colonel. "You can mistake +words and explanations a good deal easier than you can mistake an +atmosphere. No, Dave, I tell you that there's something odd about +it--married or not, Lucy didn't BELIEVE herself married the last time I +saw her." + +"But she MUST have known," says the doctor, as much to himself as to the +colonel. "She MUST have known." Any one could of told by the way he said +it that he wasn't lying. I could see that Colonel Tom believed in him, +too. They was both sicking their intellects onto the job of figgering +out how it was Lucy didn't know. Finally the doctor says very +thoughtful: + +"Whatever became of Prentiss McMakin, Tom?" + +"Dead," says Colonel Tom, "quite a while ago." + +"H-m," says the doctor, still thinking hard. And then looks at Colonel +Tom like they was an idea in his head. Which he don't speak her out. But +Colonel Tom seems to understand. + +"Yes," he says, nodding his head. "I think you are on the right track +now. Yes--I shouldn't wonder." + +Well, they puts this and that together, and they agrees that whatever +happened to make things hard to explain must of happened on that day +that Prentiss McMakin met the doctor in the bar-room, and didn't shoot +him, as he had made his brags he would. Must of happened between the +time that afternoon when Prentiss McMakin left the doctor and the time +Colonel Tom went out to see his sister and found she had went. Must of +happened somehow through Prent McMakin. + +We goes home with Colonel Tom that night. And the next day all three of +us is on our way to Athens, Indiany, where I had seen Miss Lucy at. + + + + + +CHAPTER XXIII + + +Fur my part, as the train kept getting further and further north, my +feelings kept getting more and more mixed. It come to me that I might be +steering straight fur a bunch of trouble. The feeling that sadness and +melancholy and seriousness was laying ahead of me kept me from really +enjoying them dollar-apiece meals on the train. It was Martha that done +it. All this past and gone love story I had been hearing about reminded +me of Martha. And I was steering straight toward her, and no way out of +it. How did I know but what that there girl might be expecting fur to +marry me, or something like that? Not but what I was awful in love with +her whilst we was together. But it hadn't really set in on me very +deep. I hadn't forgot about her right away. But purty soon I had got to +forgetting her oftener than I remembered her. And now it wasn't no use +talking--I jest wasn't in love with Martha no more, and didn't have +no ambition to be. I had went around the country a good bit, and got +intrusted in other things, and saw several other girls I liked purty +well. Keeping steady in love with jest one girl is mighty hard if you +are moving around a good bit. + +But I was considerable worried about Martha. She was an awful romanceful +kind of girl. And even the most sensible kind is said to be fools about +getting their hearts broke and pining away and dying over a feller. I +would hate to think Martha had pined herself sick. + +I couldn't shut my eyes to the fact we was engaged to each other legal, +all right. And if she wanted to act mean about it and take it to a court +it would likely be binding on me. Then I says to myself is she is mean +enough to do that I'll be derned if I don't go to jail before I marry +her, and stay there. + +And then my conscience got to working inside of me agin. And a picture +of her getting thin and not eating her vittles regular and waiting and +waiting fur me to show up, and me never doing it, come to me. And I felt +sorry fur poor Martha, and thought mebby I would marry her jest to keep +her from dying. Fur you would feel purty tough if a girl was to get so +stuck on you it killed her. Not that I ever seen that really happen, +either; but first and last there has been considerable talk about it. + +It wasn't but what I liked Martha well enough. It was the idea of +getting married, and staying married, made me feel so anxious. Being +married may work out all right fur some folks. But I knowed it never +would work any with me. Or not fur long. Because why should I want to be +tied down to one place, or have a steady job? That would be a mean way +to live. + +Of course, with a person that was the doctor's age it would be +different. He had done his running around and would be willing to settle +down now, I guessed. That is, if he could get his differences with this +here Buckner family patched up satisfactory. I wondered whether he would +be able to or not. Him and Colonel Tom were talking constant on the +train all the way up. From the little stretches of their talk I couldn't +help hearing, I guessed each one was telling the other all that had +happened to him in the time that had passed by. Colonel Tom what kind +of a life he had lived, and how he had married and his wife had died and +left him a widower without any kids. And the doctor--it was always +hard fur me to get to calling him anything but Doctor Kirby--how he had +happened to start out with a good chancet in life and turn into jest a +travelling fakir. + +Well, I thinks to myself now that he has got to be that, mebby her and +him won't suit so well now, even if they does get their differences +patched up. Fur all the forgiving in the world ain't going to change +things, or make them no different. But, so long as the doctor appeared +to want to find her so derned bad, I was awful glad I had been the means +of getting him and Miss Lucy together. He had done a lot fur me, first +and last, the doctor had, and I felt like it helped pay him a little. +Though if they was to settle down like married folks I would feel like a +good old sport was spoiled in the doctor, too. + +We had to change cars at Indianapolis to get to that there little town. +We was due to reach it about two o'clock in the afternoon. And the +nearer we got to the place the nervouser and nervouser all three of us +become. And not owning we was. The last hour before we hit the place, I +took a drink of water every three minutes, I was so nervous. And when +we come into the town I was already standing out onto the platform. I +wouldn't of been surprised to find Martha and Miss Lucy down there to +the station. But, of course, they wasn't. Fur some reason I felt glad +they wasn't. + +"Now," I says to them two, as we got off the train, "foller me and I +will show you the house." + +Everybody rubbers at strangers in a country town, and wonders why they +have come, and what they is selling, and if they are mebby going to +start a new grain elevator, or buy land, or what. The usual ones around +the depot rubbered at us, and I hearn one geezer say to another: + +"See that big feller there? He was through here a year or two ago +selling patent medicine." + +"You don't say so!" says the other one, like it was something important, +like a president or a circus had come, and his eyes a-bugging out. And +the doctor hearn them, too. Fur some reason or other he flushed up and +cut a look out of the corner of his eye at Colonel Tom. + +We went right through the main street and out toward the edge of town, +by the crick, where Miss Lucy's house was. And, if anything, all of us +feeling nervouser yet. And saying nothing and not looking at each other. +And Colonel Tom rolling cigarettes and fumbling fur matches and lighting +them and slinging them away. Fur how does anybody know how women is +going to take even the most ordinary little things? + +I knowed the way well enough, and where the house was, but as we went +around the turn in the road I run acrost a surprised feeling. I come +onto the place where our campfire had been them nights we was there. +Looey had drug an old fence post onto the fire one night, and the post +had only burned half up. The butt end of it, all charred and flaked, +was still laying in the grass and weeds there. It hit me with a queer +feeling--like it was only yesterday that fire had been lit there. And +yet I knowed it had been a year and a half ago. + +Well, it has always been my luck to run into things without the right +kind of a lie fixed up ahead of time. They was three or four purty good +stories I had been trying over in my head to tell Martha when I seen +her. Any one of them stories might of done all right; but I hadn't +decided WHICH one to use. And, of course, I run plumb into Martha. She +was standing by the gate, which was about twenty yards from the veranda. +And all four lies popped into my head at oncet, and got so mixed up +with one another there, I seen right off it was useless to try to tell +anything that sounded straight. Besides, when you are in the fix I was +in, what can you tell a girl anyhow? + +So I jest says to her: + +"Hullo!" + +Martha, she had been fussing around some flower bushes with a pair of +shears and gloves on. She looks up when I says that, and she sizes us +all up standing by the gate, and her eyes pops open, and so does her +mouth, and she is so surprised to see me she drops her shears. + +And she looks scared, too. + +"Is Miss Buckner at home?" asts Colonel Tom, lifting his hat very +polite. + +"Miss B-B-Buckner?" Martha stutters, very scared-like, and not taking +her eyes off of me to answer him. + +"Miss Hampton, Martha," I says. + +"Y-y-y-es, s-sh-she is," says Martha. I wondered what was the matter +with her. + +It is always my luck to get left all alone with my troubles. The doctor +and the colonel, they walked right past us when she said yes, and up +toward the house, and left her and me standing there. I could of went +along and butted in, mebby. But I says to myself I will have the derned +thing out here and now, and know the worst. And I was so interested in +my trouble and Martha that I didn't even notice if Miss Lucy met 'em at +the door, and if so, how she acted. When I next looked up they was all +in the house. + +"Martha--" I begins. But she breaks in. + +"Danny," she says, looking like she is going to cry, "don't l-l-look at +me l-l-like that. If you knew ALL you wouldn't blame me. You--" + +"Wouldn't blame you fur what?" I asts her. + +"I know it's wrong of me," she says, begging-like. + +"Mebby it is and mebby it ain't," I says. "But what is it?" + +"But you never wrote to me," she says. + +"You never wrote to me," I says, not wanting her to get the best of me, +whatever it was she might be talking about. + +"And then HE came to town!--" + +"Who?" I asts her. + +"Don't you know?" she says. "The man I am going to marry." + +When she said that I felt, all of a sudden, like when you are broke and +hungry and run acrost a half dollar you had forgot about in your other +pants. I was so glad I jumped. + +"Great guns!" I says. + +I had never really knowed what being glad was before. + +"Oh, Danny, Danny," she says, putting her hands in front of her face, +"and here you have come to claim me for your bride!" + +Which showed me why she had looked so scared. That there girl had went +and got engaged to another feller. And had been laying awake nights +suffering fur fear I would turn up agin. And now I had. Looey, he always +said never to trust a woman! + +"Martha," I says, "you ain't acted right with me." + +"Oh, Danny, Danny," she says, "I know it! I know it!" + +"Some fellers in my place," I says, "would raise a dickens of a row." + +"I DID love you once," she says, looking at me from between her fingers. + +"Yes," says I, acting real melancholy, "you did. And now you've quit it, +they don't seem to me to be nothing left to live fur." Martha, she was +an awful romanceful girl. I got the notion that mebby she was enjoying +her own remorsefulness a little bit. I fetched a deep sigh and I says: + +"Some fellers would kill theirselves on the spot!" + +"Oh!--Oh!--Oh!--" says Martha. + +"But, Martha," says I, "I ain't that mean. I ain't going to do that." + +That dern girl ackshellay give me a disappointed look! If anything, she +was jest a bit TOO romanceful, Martha was. + +"No," says I, cheering up a little, "I am going to do something they +ain't many fellers would do, Martha. I'm going to forgive you. Free and +fair and open. And give you back my half of that ring, and--" + +Dern it! I had forgot I had lost that half of that there ring! I +remembered so quick it stopped me. + +"You always kept it, Danny?" she asts me, very soft-spoken, so as not to +give pain to one so faithful and so noble as what I was. "Let me see it, +Danny." + +I made like I was feeling through all my pockets fur it. But that +couldn't last forever. I run out of pockets purty soon. And her face +begun to show she was smelling a rat. Finally I says: + +"These ain't my other clothes--it must be in them." + +"Danny," she says, "I believe you LOST it." + +"Martha," I says, taking a chancet, "you know you lost YOUR half!" + +She owns up she has lost it a long while ago. And when she lost it, she +says, she knowed that was fate and that our love was omened in under an +evil star. And who was she, she says, to struggle agin fate? + +"Martha," I says, "I'll be honest with you. Fate got away with my +half too one day when I didn't know they was crooks like her sticking +around." + +Well, I seen that girl seen through me then. Martha was awful smart +sometimes. And each one was so derned tickled the other one wasn't going +to do any pining away we like to of fell into love all over agin. But +not quite. Fur neither one would ever trust the other one agin. So we +felt more comfortable with each other. You ain't never comfortable with +a person you know is more honest than you be. + +"But," says Martha, after a minute, "if you didn't come back to make me +marry you, what does Doctor Kirby want to see Miss Hampton about? And +who was that with him?" + +I had been nigh to forgetting the main thing we had all come here fur, +in my gladness at getting rid of any danger of marrying Martha. But it +come to me all to oncet I had been missing a lot that must be taking +place inside that house. I had even missed the way they first looked +when she met 'em at the door, and I wouldn't of missed that fur a lot. +And I seen all to oncet what a big piece of news it will be to Martha. + +"Martha," I says, "they ain't no Dr. Hartley L. Kirby. The man known as +such is David Armstrong!" + +I never seen any one so peetrified as Martha was fur a minute. + +"Yes," says I, "and the other one is Miss Lucy's brother. And they +are all three in there straightening themselves out and finding where +everybody gets off at, and why. One of these here serious times you read +about. And you and me are missing it all, like a couple of gumps. How +can we hear?" + +Martha says she don't know. + +"You THINK," I told her. "We've wasted five good minutes already. I've +GOT to hear the rest of it. Where would they be?" + +Martha guesses they will all be in the sitting room, which has got the +best chairs in it. + +"What is next to it? A back parlour, or a bedroom, or what?" I was +thinking of how I happened to overhear Perfessor Booth and his fambly +that-a-way. + +Martha says they is nothing like that to be tried. + +"Martha," I says, "this is serious. This here story they are thrashing +out in there is the only derned sure-enough romanceful story either +you or me is ever lible to run up against personal in all our lives. It +would of been a good deal nicer if they had ast us in to see the wind-up +of it. Fur, if it hadn't of been fur me, they never would of been +reunited and rejuvenated the way they be. But some people get stingy +streaks with their concerns. You think!" + +Martha, she says: "Danny, it wouldn't be honourable to listen." + +"Martha," I tells her, "after the way you and me went and jilted each +other, what kind of senses of honour have WE got to brag about?" + +She remembers that the spare bedroom is right over the sitting room. +The house is heated with stoves in the winter time. There is a register +right through the floor of the spare bedroom and the ceiling of +the sitting room. Not the kind of a register that comes from a +twisted-around shaft in a house that uses furnace heat. But jest really +a hole in the floor, with a cast-iron grating, to let the heat from +the room below into the one above. She says she guesses two people that +wasn't so very honourable might sneak into the house the back way, and +up the back stairs, and into the spare bedroom, and lay down on their +stummicks on the floor, being careful to make no noise, and both see and +hear through that register. Which we done it. + + + + + +CHAPTER XXIV + + +I could hear well enough, but at first I couldn't see any of them. But +I gathered that Miss Lucy was standing up whilst she was talking, and +moving around a bit now and then. I seen one of her sleeves, and then a +wisp of her hair. Which was aggervating, fur I wanted to know what she +was like. But her voice was so soft and quiet that you kind of knowed +before you seen her how she orter look. + +"Prentiss McMakin came to me that day," she was saying, "with an +appeal--I hardly know how to tell you." She broke off. + +"Go ahead, Lucy," says Colonel Tom's voice. + +"He was insulting," she said. "He had been drinking. He wanted me +to--to--he appealed to me to run off with him. + +"I was furious--NATURALLY." Her voice changed as she said it enough so +you could feel how furious Miss Lucy could get. She was like her brother +Tom in some ways. + +"I ordered him out of the house. His answer to that was an offer to +marry me. You can imagine that I was surprised as well as angry--I was +perplexed. + +"'But I AM married!' I cried. The idea that any of my own people, or any +one whom I had known at home, would think I wasn't married was too much +for me to take in all at once. + +"'You THINK you are,' said Prentiss McMakin, with a smile. + +"In spite of myself my breath stopped. It was as if a chilly hand had +taken hold of my heart. I mean, physically, I felt like that. + +"'I AM married,' I repeated, simply. + +"I suppose that McMakin had got the story of our wedding from YOU." She +stopped a minute. The doctor's voice answered: + +"I suppose so," like he was a very tired man. + +"Anyhow," she went on, "he knew that we went first to Clarksville. He +said: + +"'You think you are married, Lucy, but you are not.' + +"I wish you to understand that Prentiss McMakin did it all very, very +well. That is my excuse. He acted well. There was something about +him--I scarcely know how to put it. It sounds odd, but the truth is that +Prentiss McMakin was always a more convincing sort of a person when he +had been drinking a little than when he was sober. He lacked warmth--he +lacked temperament. I suppose just the right amount put it into him. It +put the devil into him, too, I reckon. + +"He told me that you and he, Tom, had been to Clarksville, and had made +investigations, and that the wedding was a fraud. And he told it with a +wealth of convincing detail. In the midst of it he broke off to ask to +see my wedding certificate. As he talked, he laughed at it, and tore +it up, saying that the thing was not worth the paper it was on, and he +threw the pieces of paper into the grate. I listened, and I let him do +it--not that the paper itself mattered particularly. But the very fact +that I let him tear it showed me, myself, that I was believing him. + +"He ended with an impassioned appeal to me to go with him. + +"I showed him the door. I pretended to the last that I thought he was +lying to me. But I did not think so. I believed him. He had done it +all very cleverly. You can understand how I might--in view of what had +happened?" + +I wanted to see Miss Lucy--how she looked when she said different +things, so I could make up my mind whether she was forgiving the doctor +or not. Not that I had much doubt but what they would get their personal +troubles fixed up in the end. The iron grating in the floor was held +down by four good-sized screws, one at each corner. They wasn't no +filling at all betwixt it and the iron grating that was in the ceiling +of the room below. The space was hollow. I got an idea and took out my +jack-knife. + +"What are you going to do?" whispers Martha. + +"S-sh-sh," I says, "shut up, and you'll see." + +One of the screws was loose, and I picked her out easy enough. The +second one I broke the point off of my knife blade on. Like you nearly +always do on a screw. When it snapped Colonel Tom he says: + +"What's that?" He was powerful quick of hearing, Colonel Tom was. I laid +low till they went on talking agin. Then Martha slides out on tiptoe and +comes back in three seconds with one of these here little screw-drivers +they use around sewing-machines and the little oil can that goes with +it. I oils them screws and has them out in a holy minute, and lifts the +grating from the floor careful and lays it careful on the rug. + +By doing all of which I could get my head and shoulders down into that +there hole. And by twisting my neck a good deal, see a little ways to +each side into the room, instead of jest underneath the grating. The +doctor I couldn't see yet, and only a little of Colonel Tom, but Miss +Lucy quite plain. + +"You mean thing," Martha whispers, "you are blocking it up so I can't +hear." + +"Keep still," I whispers, pulling my head out of the hole so the sound +wouldn't float downward into the room below. "You are jest like all +other women--you got too much curiosity." + +"How about yourself?" says she. + +"Who was it thought of taking the grating off?" I whispers back to her. +Which settles her temporary, but she says if I don't give her a chancet +at it purty soon she will tickle my ribs. + +When I listens agin they are burying that there Prent McMakin. But +without any flowers. + +Miss Lucy, she was half setting on, half leaning against, the arm of a +chair. Which her head was jest a bit bowed down so that I couldn't see +her eyes. But they was the beginnings of a smile onto her face. It was +both soft and sad. + +"Well," says Colonel Tom, "you two have wasted almost twenty years of +life." + +"There is one good thing," says the doctor. "It is a good thing that +there was no child to suffer by our mistakes." + +She raised her face when he said that, Miss Lucy did, and looked in his +direction. + +"You call that a good thing?" she says, in a kind of wonder. And after +a minute she sighs. "Perhaps," she says, "you are right. Heaven only +knows. Perhaps it WAS better that he died." + +"DIED!" sings out the doctor. + +And I hearn his chair scrape back, like he had riz to his feet sudden. +I nearly busted my neck trying fur to see him, but I couldn't. I was all +twisted up, head down, and the blood getting into my head from it so I +had to pull it out every little while. + +"Yes," she says, with her eyes wide, "didn't you know he died?" And then +she turns quick toward Colonel Tom. "Didn't you tell him--" she begins. +But the doctor cuts in. + +"Lucy," he says, his voice shaking and croaking in his throat, "I never +knew there was a child!" + +I hears Colonel Tom hawk in HIS throat like a man who is either going +to spit or else say something. But he don't do either one. No one says +anything fur a minute. And then Miss Lucy says agin: + +"Yes--he died." + +And then she fell into a kind of a muse. I have been myself in the fix +she looked to be in then--so you forget fur a while where you are, or +who is there, whilst you think about something that has been in the back +part of your mind fur a long, long time. + +What she was musing about was that child that hadn't lived. I could tell +that by her face. I could tell how she must have thought of it, often +and often, fur years and years, and longed fur it, so that it seemed to +her at times she could almost touch it. And how good a mother she would +of been to it. Some women has jest natcherally GOT to mother something +or other. Miss Lucy was one of that kind. I knowed all in a flash, +whilst I looked at her there, why she had adopted Martha fur her child. + +It was a wonderful look that was onto her face. And it was a wonderful +face that look was onto. I felt like I had knowed her forever when I +seen her there. Like the thoughts of her the doctor had been carrying +around with him fur years and years, and that I had caught him thinking +oncet or twicet, had been my thoughts too, all my life. + +Miss Lucy, she was one of the kind there's no use trying to describe. +The feller that could see her that-a-way and not feel made good by it +orter have a whaling. Not the kind of sticky, good feeling that makes +you uncomfortable, like being pestered by your conscience to jine a +church or quit cussing. But the kind of good that makes you forget they +is anything on earth but jest braveness of heart and being willing to +bear things you can't help. You knowed the world had hurt her a lot when +you seen her standing there; but you didn't have the nerve to pity her +none, either. Fur you could see she had got over pitying herself. Even +when she was in that muse, longing with all her soul fur that child she +had never knowed, you didn't have the nerve to pity her none. + +"He died," she says agin, purty soon, with that gentle kind of smile. + +Colonel Tom, he clears his throat agin. Like when you are awful dry. + +"The truth is--" he begins. + +And then he breaks off agin. Miss Lucy turns toward him when he speaks. +By the strange look that come onto her face there must of been something +right curious in HIS manner too. I was jest simply laying onto my +forehead mashing one of my dern eyeballs through a little hole in the +grating. But I couldn't, even that way, see fur enough to one side to +see how HE looked. + +"The truth is," says Colonel Tom, trying it agin, "that I--well, Lucy, +the child may be dead, but he didn't die when you thought he did." + +There was a flash of hope flared into her face that I hated to see come +there. Because when it died out in a minute, as I expected it would have +to, it looked to me like it might take all her life out with it. Her +lips parted like she was going to say something with them. But she +didn't. She jest looked it. + +"Why did you never tell me this--that there was a child?" says the +doctor, very eager. + +"Wait," says Colonel Tom, "let me tell the story in my own way." + +Which he done it. It seems when he had went to Galesburg this here child +had only been born a few days. And Miss Lucy was still sick. And the kid +itself was sick, and liable to die any minute, by the looks of things. + +Which Colonel Tom wishes that it would die, in his heart. He thinks that +it is an illegitimate child, and he hates the idea of it and he hates +the sight of it. The second night he is there he is setting in his +sister's room, and the woman that has been nursing the kid and Miss Lucy +too is in the next room with the kid. + +She comes to the door and beckons to him, the nurse does. He tiptoes +toward her, and she says to him, very low-voiced, that "it is all over." +Meaning the kid has quit struggling fur to live, and jest natcherally +floated away. The nurse had thought Miss Lucy asleep, but as both her +and Colonel Tom turn quick toward her bed they see that she has heard +and seen, and she turns her face toward the wall. Which he tries fur to +comfort her, Colonel Tom does, telling her as how it is an illegitimate +child, and fur its own sake it was better it was dead before it ever +lived any. Which she don't answer of him back, but only stares in +a wild-eyed way at him, and lays there and looks desperate, and says +nothing. + +In his heart Colonel Tom is awful glad that it is dead. He can't help +feeling that way. And he quits trying to talk to his sister, fur he +suspicions that she will ketch onto the fact that he is glad that it is +dead. He goes on into the next room. + +He finds the nurse looking awful funny, and bending over the dead kid. +She is putting a looking-glass to its lips. He asts her why. + +She says she thought she might be mistaken after all. She couldn't +say jest WHEN it died. It was alive and feeble, and then purty soon it +showed no signs of life. It was like it hadn't had enough strength to +stay and had jest went. I didn't show any pulse, and it didn't appear +to be breathing. And she had watched it and done everything before she +beckoned to Colonel Tom and told him that it was dead. But as she come +back into the room where it was she thought she noticed something that +was too light to be called a real flutter move its eyelids, which she +had closed down over its eyes. It was the ghost of a move, like it had +tried to raise the lids, or they had tried to raise theirselves, and had +been too weak. So she has got busy and wrapped a hot cloth around it, +and got a drop of brandy or two between its lips, and was fighting to +bring it back to life. And thought she was doing it. Thought she had +felt a little flutter in its chest, and was trying if it had breath at +all. + +Colonel Tom thinks of what big folks the Buckner fambly has always been +at home. And how high they had always held their heads. And how none of +the women has ever been like this before. Nor no disgrace of any kind. +And that there kid, if it is alive, is a sign of disgrace. And he hoped +to God, he said, it wasn't alive. + +But he don't say so. He stands there and watches that nurse fight fur to +hold onto the little mist of life she thinks now is still into it. She +unbuttons her dress and lays the kid against the heat of her own breast. +And wills fur it to live, and fights fur it to, and determines that it +must, and jest natcherally tries fur to bullyrag death into going away. +And Colonel Tom watching, and wishing that it wouldn't. But he gets +interested in that there fight, and so purty soon he is hoping both ways +by spells. And the fight all going on without a word spoken. + +But finally the nurse begins fur to cry. Not because she is sure it is +dead. But because she is sure it is coming back. Which it does, slow. + +"'But I have told HER that it is dead,'" says Colonel Tom, jerking his +head toward the other room where Miss Lucy is lying. He speaks in a low +voice and closes the door when he speaks. Fur it looks now like it was +getting strong enough so it might even squall a little. + +"I don't know what kind of a look there was on my face," says Colonel +Tom, telling of the story to his sister and the doctor, "but she must +have seen that I was--and heaven help me, but I WAS!--sorry that the +baby was alive. It would have been such an easy way out of it had it +been really dead! + +"'She mustn't know that it is living,' I said to the nurse, finally," +says Colonel Tom, going on with his story. I had been watching Miss +Lucy's face as Colonel Tom talked and she was so worked up by that fight +fur the kid's life she was breathless. But her eyes was cast down, I +guess so her brother couldn't see them. Colonel Tom goes on with his +story: + +"'You don't mean--' said the nurse, startled. + +"'No! No!' I said, 'of course--not that! But--why should she ever know +that it didn't die?'" + +"'It is illegitimate?' asked the nurse. + +"'Yes,' I said." The long and short of it was, Colonel Tom went on to +tell, that the nurse went out and got her mother. Which the two of them +lived alone, only around the corner. And give the child into the keeping +of her mother, who took it away then and there. + +Colonel Tom had made up his mind there wasn't going to be no bastards in +the Buckner fambly. And now that Miss Lucy thought it was dead he would +let her keep on thinking so. And that would be settled for good and all. +He figgered that it wouldn't ever hurt her none if she never knowed it. + +The nurse's mother kept it all that week, and it throve. Colonel Tom was +coaxing of his sister to go back to Tennessee. But she wouldn't go. So +he had made up his mind to go back and get his Aunt Lucy Davis to come +and help him coax. He was only waiting fur his sister to get well enough +so he could leave her. She got better, and she never ast fur the kid, +nor said nothing about it. Which was probable because she seen he hated +it so. He had made up his mind, before he went back after their Aunt +Lucy Davis, to take the baby himself and put it into some kind of an +institution. + +"I thought," he says to Miss Lucy, telling of the story, "that you +yourself were almost reconciled to the thought that it hadn't lived." + +Miss Lucy interrupted him with a little sound. She was breathing hard, +and shaking from head to foot. No one would have thought to look at her +then she was reconciled to the idea that it hadn't lived. It was cruel +hard on her to tear her to pieces with the news that it really had +lived, but had lived away from her all these years she had been longing +fur it. And no chancet fur her ever to mother it. And no way to tell +what had ever become of it. I felt awful sorry fur Miss Lucy then. + +"But when I got ready to leave Galesburg," Colonel Tom goes on, "it +suddenly occurred to me that there would be difficulties in the way of +putting it in a home of any sort. I didn't know what to do with it--" + +"What DID you? What DID you? WHAT DID YOU?" cries out Miss Lucy, +pressing her hand to her chest, like she was smothering. + +"The first thing I did," says Colonel Tom, "was to get you to another +house--you remember, Lucy?" + +"Yes, yes!" she says, excited, "and what then?" + +"Perhaps I did a very foolish thing," says Colonel Tom. + +"After I had seen you installed in the new place and had bidden you +good-bye, I got a carriage and drove by the place where the nurse and +her mother lived. I told the woman that I had changed my mind--that you +were going to raise the baby--that I was going to permit it. I don't +think she quite believed me, but she gave me the baby. What else could +she do? Besides, I had paid her well, when I discharged her, to say +nothing to you, and to keep the baby until I should come for it. They +needed money; they were poor. + +"I was determined that it should never be heard of again. It was about +noon when I left Galesburg. I drove all that afternoon, with the baby +in a basket on the seat of the carriage beside me. Everybody has read +in books, since books were first written--and seen in newspapers, +too--about children being left on door steps. Given an infant to dispose +of, that is perhaps the first thing that occurs to a person. There was +a thick plaid shawl wrapped about the child. In the basket, beside the +baby, was a nursing bottle. About dusk I had it refilled with warm milk +at a farmhouse near--" + +My head was beginning fur to swim. I pulled my head out of that there +hole, and rammed my foot into it. It banged against that grating and +loosened it. It busted loose some plaster, which showered down into the +room underneath. Miss Lucy, she screamed. And the doctor and Colonel Tom +both yelled out to oncet: + +"Who's that?" + +"It's me," I yells, banging that grating agin. "Watch out below there!" +And the third lick I give her she broke loose and clattered down right +onto a centre table and spilled over some photographs and a vase full of +flowers, and bounced off onto the floor. + +"Look out below," I yells, "I'm coming down!" + +I let my legs through first, and swung them so I would land to one side +of the table, and held by my hands, and dropped. But struck the table a +sideways swipe and turned it over, and fell onto the floor. The doctor, +he grabbed me by the collar and straightened me up, and give me a shake +and stood me onto my feet. + +"What do you mean--" he begins. But I breaks in. + +"Now then," I says to Colonel Tom, "did you leave that there child +sucking that there bottle on the doorstep of a blacksmith's house next +to his shop at the edge of a little country town about twenty miles +northeast of Galesburg wrapped up in that there plaid shawl?" + +"I did," says Colonel Tom. + +"Then," says I, turning to Miss Lucy, "I can understand why I have been +feeling drawed to YOU fur quite a spell. I'm him." + + + + Transcribers Note: The following changes made: + ORIGINAL + PAGE LINE ORIGINAL CHANGED TO + 17 28 Primose, Primrose, + 41 12 jests looks jest looks + 83 14 to, too, + 84 4 jests sets jest sets + 89 28 it it. + 99 13 our fur out fur + 121 4 Chieftan. Chieftain. + 121 16 i it if it + 160 8 them. then. + 183 18 sir fo' sir, fo' + 189 16 shedon' she don' + 207 22 purty seen purty soon + 210 5 They way The way + 212 6 pintetdly pintedly + 251 2 Witherses.' Witherses'. + 251 22 toe hurt to hurt + 269 3 "Gentleman, "Gentlemen, + 276 19 'Will," "Will," + 282 9 won't!" won't + 288 16 real y really + 292 10 t ouble. trouble. + 308 1 al right all right + 316 4 I says," they I says, "they + + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Danny's Own Story, by Don Marquis + +*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK DANNY'S OWN STORY *** + +***** This file should be named 587.txt or 587.zip ***** +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: + http://www.gutenberg.org/5/8/587/ + +Produced by Judith Boss + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. Special rules, +set forth in the General Terms of Use part of this license, apply to +copying and distributing Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works to +protect the PROJECT GUTENBERG-tm concept and trademark. Project +Gutenberg is a registered trademark, and may not be used if you +charge for the eBooks, unless you receive specific permission. If you +do not charge anything for copies of this eBook, complying with the +rules is very easy. You may use this eBook for nearly any purpose +such as creation of derivative works, reports, performances and +research. They may be modified and printed and given away--you may do +practically ANYTHING with public domain eBooks. Redistribution is +subject to the trademark license, especially commercial +redistribution. + + + +*** START: FULL LICENSE *** + +THE FULL PROJECT GUTENBERG LICENSE +PLEASE READ THIS BEFORE YOU DISTRIBUTE OR USE THIS WORK + +To protect the Project Gutenberg-tm mission of promoting the free +distribution of electronic works, by using or distributing this work +(or any other work associated in any way with the phrase "Project +Gutenberg"), you agree to comply with all the terms of the Full Project +Gutenberg-tm License (available with this file or online at +http://gutenberg.org/license). + + +Section 1. General Terms of Use and Redistributing Project Gutenberg-tm +electronic works + +1.A. By reading or using any part of this Project Gutenberg-tm +electronic work, you indicate that you have read, understand, agree to +and accept all the terms of this license and intellectual property +(trademark/copyright) agreement. If you do not agree to abide by all +the terms of this agreement, you must cease using and return or destroy +all copies of Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works in your possession. +If you paid a fee for obtaining a copy of or access to a Project +Gutenberg-tm electronic work and you do not agree to be bound by the +terms of this agreement, you may obtain a refund from the person or +entity to whom you paid the fee as set forth in paragraph 1.E.8. + +1.B. "Project Gutenberg" is a registered trademark. It may only be +used on or associated in any way with an electronic work by people who +agree to be bound by the terms of this agreement. There are a few +things that you can do with most Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works +even without complying with the full terms of this agreement. See +paragraph 1.C below. There are a lot of things you can do with Project +Gutenberg-tm electronic works if you follow the terms of this agreement +and help preserve free future access to Project Gutenberg-tm electronic +works. See paragraph 1.E below. + +1.C. The Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation ("the Foundation" +or PGLAF), owns a compilation copyright in the collection of Project +Gutenberg-tm electronic works. Nearly all the individual works in the +collection are in the public domain in the United States. If an +individual work is in the public domain in the United States and you are +located in the United States, we do not claim a right to prevent you from +copying, distributing, performing, displaying or creating derivative +works based on the work as long as all references to Project Gutenberg +are removed. Of course, we hope that you will support the Project +Gutenberg-tm mission of promoting free access to electronic works by +freely sharing Project Gutenberg-tm works in compliance with the terms of +this agreement for keeping the Project Gutenberg-tm name associated with +the work. You can easily comply with the terms of this agreement by +keeping this work in the same format with its attached full Project +Gutenberg-tm License when you share it without charge with others. + +1.D. The copyright laws of the place where you are located also govern +what you can do with this work. Copyright laws in most countries are in +a constant state of change. If you are outside the United States, check +the laws of your country in addition to the terms of this agreement +before downloading, copying, displaying, performing, distributing or +creating derivative works based on this work or any other Project +Gutenberg-tm work. The Foundation makes no representations concerning +the copyright status of any work in any country outside the United +States. + +1.E. Unless you have removed all references to Project Gutenberg: + +1.E.1. The following sentence, with active links to, or other immediate +access to, the full Project Gutenberg-tm License must appear prominently +whenever any copy of a Project Gutenberg-tm work (any work on which the +phrase "Project Gutenberg" appears, or with which the phrase "Project +Gutenberg" is associated) is accessed, displayed, performed, viewed, +copied or distributed: + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + +1.E.2. If an individual Project Gutenberg-tm electronic work is derived +from the public domain (does not contain a notice indicating that it is +posted with permission of the copyright holder), the work can be copied +and distributed to anyone in the United States without paying any fees +or charges. If you are redistributing or providing access to a work +with the phrase "Project Gutenberg" associated with or appearing on the +work, you must comply either with the requirements of paragraphs 1.E.1 +through 1.E.7 or obtain permission for the use of the work and the +Project Gutenberg-tm trademark as set forth in paragraphs 1.E.8 or +1.E.9. + +1.E.3. If an individual Project Gutenberg-tm electronic work is posted +with the permission of the copyright holder, your use and distribution +must comply with both paragraphs 1.E.1 through 1.E.7 and any additional +terms imposed by the copyright holder. Additional terms will be linked +to the Project Gutenberg-tm License for all works posted with the +permission of the copyright holder found at the beginning of this work. + +1.E.4. Do not unlink or detach or remove the full Project Gutenberg-tm +License terms from this work, or any files containing a part of this +work or any other work associated with Project Gutenberg-tm. + +1.E.5. Do not copy, display, perform, distribute or redistribute this +electronic work, or any part of this electronic work, without +prominently displaying the sentence set forth in paragraph 1.E.1 with +active links or immediate access to the full terms of the Project +Gutenberg-tm License. + +1.E.6. You may convert to and distribute this work in any binary, +compressed, marked up, nonproprietary or proprietary form, including any +word processing or hypertext form. However, if you provide access to or +distribute copies of a Project Gutenberg-tm work in a format other than +"Plain Vanilla ASCII" or other format used in the official version +posted on the official Project Gutenberg-tm web site (www.gutenberg.org), +you must, at no additional cost, fee or expense to the user, provide a +copy, a means of exporting a copy, or a means of obtaining a copy upon +request, of the work in its original "Plain Vanilla ASCII" or other +form. Any alternate format must include the full Project Gutenberg-tm +License as specified in paragraph 1.E.1. + +1.E.7. Do not charge a fee for access to, viewing, displaying, +performing, copying or distributing any Project Gutenberg-tm works +unless you comply with paragraph 1.E.8 or 1.E.9. + +1.E.8. You may charge a reasonable fee for copies of or providing +access to or distributing Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works provided +that + +- You pay a royalty fee of 20% of the gross profits you derive from + the use of Project Gutenberg-tm works calculated using the method + you already use to calculate your applicable taxes. The fee is + owed to the owner of the Project Gutenberg-tm trademark, but he + has agreed to donate royalties under this paragraph to the + Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation. Royalty payments + must be paid within 60 days following each date on which you + prepare (or are legally required to prepare) your periodic tax + returns. Royalty payments should be clearly marked as such and + sent to the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation at the + address specified in Section 4, "Information about donations to + the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation." + +- You provide a full refund of any money paid by a user who notifies + you in writing (or by e-mail) within 30 days of receipt that s/he + does not agree to the terms of the full Project Gutenberg-tm + License. You must require such a user to return or + destroy all copies of the works possessed in a physical medium + and discontinue all use of and all access to other copies of + Project Gutenberg-tm works. + +- You provide, in accordance with paragraph 1.F.3, a full refund of any + money paid for a work or a replacement copy, if a defect in the + electronic work is discovered and reported to you within 90 days + of receipt of the work. + +- You comply with all other terms of this agreement for free + distribution of Project Gutenberg-tm works. + +1.E.9. If you wish to charge a fee or distribute a Project Gutenberg-tm +electronic work or group of works on different terms than are set +forth in this agreement, you must obtain permission in writing from +both the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation and Michael +Hart, the owner of the Project Gutenberg-tm trademark. Contact the +Foundation as set forth in Section 3 below. + +1.F. + +1.F.1. Project Gutenberg volunteers and employees expend considerable +effort to identify, do copyright research on, transcribe and proofread +public domain works in creating the Project Gutenberg-tm +collection. Despite these efforts, Project Gutenberg-tm electronic +works, and the medium on which they may be stored, may contain +"Defects," such as, but not limited to, incomplete, inaccurate or +corrupt data, transcription errors, a copyright or other intellectual +property infringement, a defective or damaged disk or other medium, a +computer virus, or computer codes that damage or cannot be read by +your equipment. + +1.F.2. LIMITED WARRANTY, DISCLAIMER OF DAMAGES - Except for the "Right +of Replacement or Refund" described in paragraph 1.F.3, the Project +Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation, the owner of the Project +Gutenberg-tm trademark, and any other party distributing a Project +Gutenberg-tm electronic work under this agreement, disclaim all +liability to you for damages, costs and expenses, including legal +fees. YOU AGREE THAT YOU HAVE NO REMEDIES FOR NEGLIGENCE, STRICT +LIABILITY, BREACH OF WARRANTY OR BREACH OF CONTRACT EXCEPT THOSE +PROVIDED IN PARAGRAPH F3. YOU AGREE THAT THE FOUNDATION, THE +TRADEMARK OWNER, AND ANY DISTRIBUTOR UNDER THIS AGREEMENT WILL NOT BE +LIABLE TO YOU FOR ACTUAL, DIRECT, INDIRECT, CONSEQUENTIAL, PUNITIVE OR +INCIDENTAL DAMAGES EVEN IF YOU GIVE NOTICE OF THE POSSIBILITY OF SUCH +DAMAGE. + +1.F.3. LIMITED RIGHT OF REPLACEMENT OR REFUND - If you discover a +defect in this electronic work within 90 days of receiving it, you can +receive a refund of the money (if any) you paid for it by sending a +written explanation to the person you received the work from. If you +received the work on a physical medium, you must return the medium with +your written explanation. The person or entity that provided you with +the defective work may elect to provide a replacement copy in lieu of a +refund. If you received the work electronically, the person or entity +providing it to you may choose to give you a second opportunity to +receive the work electronically in lieu of a refund. If the second copy +is also defective, you may demand a refund in writing without further +opportunities to fix the problem. + +1.F.4. Except for the limited right of replacement or refund set forth +in paragraph 1.F.3, this work is provided to you 'AS-IS' WITH NO OTHER +WARRANTIES OF ANY KIND, EXPRESS OR IMPLIED, INCLUDING BUT NOT LIMITED TO +WARRANTIES OF MERCHANTIBILITY OR FITNESS FOR ANY PURPOSE. + +1.F.5. Some states do not allow disclaimers of certain implied +warranties or the exclusion or limitation of certain types of damages. +If any disclaimer or limitation set forth in this agreement violates the +law of the state applicable to this agreement, the agreement shall be +interpreted to make the maximum disclaimer or limitation permitted by +the applicable state law. The invalidity or unenforceability of any +provision of this agreement shall not void the remaining provisions. + +1.F.6. INDEMNITY - You agree to indemnify and hold the Foundation, the +trademark owner, any agent or employee of the Foundation, anyone +providing copies of Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works in accordance +with this agreement, and any volunteers associated with the production, +promotion and distribution of Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works, +harmless from all liability, costs and expenses, including legal fees, +that arise directly or indirectly from any of the following which you do +or cause to occur: (a) distribution of this or any Project Gutenberg-tm +work, (b) alteration, modification, or additions or deletions to any +Project Gutenberg-tm work, and (c) any Defect you cause. + + +Section 2. Information about the Mission of Project Gutenberg-tm + +Project Gutenberg-tm is synonymous with the free distribution of +electronic works in formats readable by the widest variety of computers +including obsolete, old, middle-aged and new computers. It exists +because of the efforts of hundreds of volunteers and donations from +people in all walks of life. + +Volunteers and financial support to provide volunteers with the +assistance they need, are critical to reaching Project Gutenberg-tm's +goals and ensuring that the Project Gutenberg-tm collection will +remain freely available for generations to come. In 2001, the Project +Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation was created to provide a secure +and permanent future for Project Gutenberg-tm and future generations. +To learn more about the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation +and how your efforts and donations can help, see Sections 3 and 4 +and the Foundation web page at http://www.pglaf.org. + + +Section 3. Information about the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive +Foundation + +The Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation is a non profit +501(c)(3) educational corporation organized under the laws of the +state of Mississippi and granted tax exempt status by the Internal +Revenue Service. The Foundation's EIN or federal tax identification +number is 64-6221541. Its 501(c)(3) letter is posted at +http://pglaf.org/fundraising. Contributions to the Project Gutenberg +Literary Archive Foundation are tax deductible to the full extent +permitted by U.S. federal laws and your state's laws. + +The Foundation's principal office is located at 4557 Melan Dr. S. +Fairbanks, AK, 99712., but its volunteers and employees are scattered +throughout numerous locations. Its business office is located at +809 North 1500 West, Salt Lake City, UT 84116, (801) 596-1887, email +business@pglaf.org. Email contact links and up to date contact +information can be found at the Foundation's web site and official +page at http://pglaf.org + +For additional contact information: + Dr. Gregory B. Newby + Chief Executive and Director + gbnewby@pglaf.org + + +Section 4. Information about Donations to the Project Gutenberg +Literary Archive Foundation + +Project Gutenberg-tm depends upon and cannot survive without wide +spread public support and donations to carry out its mission of +increasing the number of public domain and licensed works that can be +freely distributed in machine readable form accessible by the widest +array of equipment including outdated equipment. Many small donations +($1 to $5,000) are particularly important to maintaining tax exempt +status with the IRS. + +The Foundation is committed to complying with the laws regulating +charities and charitable donations in all 50 states of the United +States. Compliance requirements are not uniform and it takes a +considerable effort, much paperwork and many fees to meet and keep up +with these requirements. We do not solicit donations in locations +where we have not received written confirmation of compliance. To +SEND DONATIONS or determine the status of compliance for any +particular state visit http://pglaf.org + +While we cannot and do not solicit contributions from states where we +have not met the solicitation requirements, we know of no prohibition +against accepting unsolicited donations from donors in such states who +approach us with offers to donate. + +International donations are gratefully accepted, but we cannot make +any statements concerning tax treatment of donations received from +outside the United States. U.S. laws alone swamp our small staff. + +Please check the Project Gutenberg Web pages for current donation +methods and addresses. Donations are accepted in a number of other +ways including checks, online payments and credit card donations. +To donate, please visit: http://pglaf.org/donate + + +Section 5. General Information About Project Gutenberg-tm electronic +works. + +Professor Michael S. Hart is the originator of the Project Gutenberg-tm +concept of a library of electronic works that could be freely shared +with anyone. For thirty years, he produced and distributed Project +Gutenberg-tm eBooks with only a loose network of volunteer support. + + +Project Gutenberg-tm eBooks are often created from several printed +editions, all of which are confirmed as Public Domain in the U.S. +unless a copyright notice is included. Thus, we do not necessarily +keep eBooks in compliance with any particular paper edition. + + +Most people start at our Web site which has the main PG search facility: + + http://www.gutenberg.org + +This Web site includes information about Project Gutenberg-tm, +including how to make donations to the Project Gutenberg Literary +Archive Foundation, how to help produce our new eBooks, and how to +subscribe to our email newsletter to hear about new eBooks. |