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diff --git a/5734.txt b/5734.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..f708002 --- /dev/null +++ b/5734.txt @@ -0,0 +1,9753 @@ +The Project Gutenberg EBook of Life in the Grey Nunnery at Montreal, by +Sarah J Richardson + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: Life in the Grey Nunnery at Montreal + +Author: Sarah J Richardson + +Editor: Edward P. Hood + + +Release Date: May, 2004 [EBook #5734] +This file was first posted on August 18, 2002 +Last Updated: June 24, 2013 + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ASCII + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK LIFE IN THE GREY NUNNERY *** + + + + +Produced by Gardner Buchanan with help from Charles Franks +and Distributed Proofers + + + + + + + + + +LIFE IN THE GREY NUNNERY AT MONTREAL + +An authentic narrative of the horrors, mysteries, and cruelties of +convent life by Sarah J. Richardson, an escaped nun. + + +By Sarah J Richardson + + +Edited by Edward P. Hood + + +[A long unsigned note of opinion on the veracity of this work has been +deleted per the policy of Project Gutenberg concerning such ammendations.} + + +TABLE OF CONTENTS + +CHAPTER I PARENTAGE--FATHER'S MARRIAGE +CHAPTER II THE WHITE NUNNERY +CHAPTER III THE NURSERY +CHAPTER IV A SLAVE FOR LIFE +CHAPTER V CEREMONY OF CONFIRMATION +CHAPTER VI THE GREY NUNNERY +CHAPTER VII ORPHAN'S HOME +CHAPTER VIII CONFESSION AND SORROW OF NO AVAIL +CHAPTER IX ALONE WITH THE DEAD +CHAPTER X THE SICK NUN +CHAPTER XI THE JOY OF FREEDOM +CHAPTER XII STRANGER IN A STRANGE LAND +CHAPTER XIII LANDLADY'S STORY CONTINUED +CHAPTER XIV THE TWO SISTERS +CHAPTER XV CHOICE OF PUNISHMENTS +CHAPTER XVI HORRORS OF STARVATION +CHAPTER XVII THE TORTURE ROOM +CHAPTER XVIII RETURN TO THE NUNNERY +CHAPTER XIX SICKNESS AND DEATH OF A SUPERIOR +CHAPTER XX STUDENTS AT THE ACADEMY +CHAPTER XXI SECOND ESCAPE FROM THE NUNNERY +CHAPTER XXII LONELY MIDNIGHT WALK +CHAPTER XXIII FLIGHT AND RECAPTURE +CHAPTER XXIV RESOLVES TO ESCAPE +CHAPTER XXV EVENTFUL JOURNEY +CHAPTER XXVI CONCLUSION + +APPENDIX I ABSURDITIES OF ROMANISTS +APPENDIX II CRUELTY OF ROMANISTS +APPENDIX III INQUISITION OF GOA--IMPRISONMENT OF + M. DELLON, 1673 +APPENDIX IV INQUISITION OF GOA, CONCLUDED +APPENDIX V INQUISITION AT MACERATA, ITALY +APPENDIX VI ROMANISM OF THE PRESENT DAY +APPENDIX VII NARRATIVE OP SIGNORINA FLORIENCIA + D' ROMANI + + + +TABLE OF CONTENTS + +CHAPTER I PARENTAGE--FATHER'S MARRIAGE CHAPTER II THE WHITE NUNNERY +CHAPTER III THE NURSERY CHAPTER IV A SLAVE FOR LIFE CHAPTER V CEREMONY +OF CONFIRMATION CHAPTER VI THE GREY NUNNERY CHAPTER VII ORPHAN'S HOME +CHAPTER VIII CONFESSION AND SORROW OF NO AVAIL CHAPTER IX ALONE WITH THE +DEAD CHAPTER X THE SICK NUN CHAPTER XI THE JOY OF FREEDOM CHAPTER XII +STRANGER IN A STRANGE LAND CHAPTER XIII LANDLADY'S STORY CONTINUED +CHAPTER XIV THE TWO SISTERS CHAPTER XV CHOICE OF PUNISHMENTS CHAPTER XVI +HORRORS OF STARVATION CHAPTER XVII THE TORTURE ROOM CHAPTER XVIII RETURN +TO THE NUNNERY CHAPTER XIX SICKNESS AND DEATH OF A SUPERIOR CHAPTER +XX STUDENTS AT THE ACADEMY CHAPTER XXI SECOND ESCAPE FROM THE NUNNERY +CHAPTER XXII LONELY MIDNIGHT WALK CHAPTER XXIII FLIGHT AND RECAPTURE +CHAPTER XXIV RESOLVES TO ESCAPE CHAPTER XXV EVENTFUL JOURNEY CHAPTER +XXVI CONCLUSION + +APPENDIX I ABSURDITIES OF ROMANISTS APPENDIX II CRUELTY OF ROMANISTS +APPENDIX III INQUISITION OF GOA--IMPRISONMENT OF M. DE + APPENDIX IV INQUISITION OF GOA, CONCLUDED APPENDIX V INQUISITION AT +MACERATA, ITALY APPENDIX VI ROMANISM OF THE PRESENT DAY APPENDIX VII +NARRATIVE OP SIGNORINA FLORIENCIA D' ROMANI + + + + +LIFE IN THE GREY NUNNERY. + + +CHAPTER I. + +PARENTAGE.--FATHER'S MARRIAGE. + +I was born at St. John's, New Brunswick, in the year 1835. My father was +from the city of Dublin, Ireland, where he spent his youth, and received +an education in accordance with the strictest rules of Roman Catholic +faith and practice. Early manhood, however, found him dissatisfied with +his native country, longing for other scenes and distant climes. He +therefore left Ireland, and came to Quebec. + +Here he soon became acquainted with Capt. Willard, a wealthy English +gentleman, who, finding him a stranger in a strange land, kindly opened +his door, and gave him employment and a home. Little did he think that +in so doing he was warming in his bosom a viper whose poisonous fangs +would, ere long, fasten on his very heart-strings, and bring down +his grey hairs with sorrow to the grave. His only child was a lovely +daughter of fourteen. From what I have heard of her, I think she must +have been very beautiful in person, quiet, gentle and unassuming in +her deportment, and her disposition amiable and affectionate. She was +exceedingly romantic, and her mental powers were almost, if not entirely +uncultivated; still, she possessed sufficient strength of character to +enable her to form a deep, ardent, and permanent attachment. + +The young stranger gazed upon her with admiring eyes, and soon began +to whisper in her ear the flattering tale of love. This, of course, +her parents could not approve. What! give their darling to a stranger? +Never, no, never. What could they do without her? Grieved that their +kindness should have been thus returned, they bade him go his way, and +leave their child in peace. He did go, but like a thief he returned. In +the darkness of midnight he stole to her chamber, and bore away from the +home of her childhood, "a father's joy, a mother's pride." + +Who can tell the anguish of their souls when they entered that deserted +chamber? How desolate their lonely hearthstone! How dark the home where +her presence had scattered rainbow hues! A terrible blow it was to +Capt. Willard; a very bitter thing thus to have his cherished plans +frustrated, his brightest hopes destroyed; to see the very sun of his +existence go down at midday in clouds and darkness. Yes, to the +stern father this sad event brought bitter, bitter grief. But to the +mother--that tender, affectionate mother, it was death. Yea, more +than death, for reason, at the first shock, reeled and tottered on its +throne; then, as days and weeks passed by, and still the loved one did +not return, when every effort to find her had been made in vain, then, +the dread certainty settled down upon her soul that her child was lost +to her forever. Hope, gave place to despair, and she became, from that +time, a raving maniac. At length death came to her relief, and her +husband was left alone. + +Six weary years passed over the lonely man, and then he rejoiced in the +intelligence that his child was still living with her husband at St. +John's. He immediately wrote to her imploring her to return to her +old home, and with the light of her presence dispel the gloom of his +dwelling. Accordingly she left St. John's, and in company with her +husband returned to her father. I was then about a year and a half +old, but I have so often heard these facts related by my father and +grandfather, they are indelibly impressed on my mind, and will never be +erased from my memory. + +My mother now thought her trouble at an end, that in future she should +enjoy the happiness she once anticipated. But, alas for all human +prospects! Ere one short month had passed, difficulties arose in +consequence of the difference in their religious opinions. Capt. Willard +was a firm Protestant, while my father was quite as firm in his belief +of the principles of the Roman Catholics. "Can two walk together except +they be agreed?" They parted in anger, and my father again became a +wanderer, leaving his wife and child with his father-in-law. But my +mother was a faithful, devoted wife. Her husband was her heart's chosen +idol whom she loved too well to think of being separated from. She +therefore left her father's house, with all its luxuries and enjoyments, +to follow the fortunes of one, who was certainly unworthy of the pure +affection thus lavished upon him. As her health had been delicate for +the last two years, she concluded to leave me with her father for a +short time, intending to send for me, as soon as she was in a situation +to take care of me. But this was not to be. Death called her away, and +I saw my mother no more till her corpse was brought back, and buried in +her father's garden. + +Two years I remained with my grandfather, and from him, I received the +most affectionate and devoted attention. My father at length opened a +saloon, for the sale of porter, and hired a black woman to do his work. +He then came for me. My grandfather entreated that I might be allowed to +remain. Well he knew that my father was not the man to be entrusted with +the care of a child--that a Porter House was no place for me, for he was +quite sure that stronger liquors than porter were there drank and sold. +In fact, it was said, that my father was himself a living evidence of +this. But it is of a parent I am speaking, and, whatever failings the +world may have seen in him, to me he was a kind and tender father. The +years I spent with him were the happiest of my life. On memory's +page they stand out in bold relief, strikingly contrasting with the +wretchedness of my after life. And though I cannot forget that his own +rash act brought this wretchedness upon me, still, I believe his +motives were good. I know that he loved me, and every remembrance of +his kindness, and those few bright days of childhood, I have carefully +cherished as a sacred thing. He did not, however, succeed in the +business he had undertaken, but lost his property and was at length +compelled to give up his saloon. + +I was then placed in a Roman Catholic family, where he often visited, +and ever appeared to feel for me the most devoted attachment. One day he +came to see me in a state of partial intoxication. I did not then know +why his face was so red, and his breath so offensive, but I now know +that he was under the influence of ardent spirits. The woman with whom +I boarded seeing his condition, and being a good Catholic, resolved +to make the most of the occasion for the benefit of the nunnery. She +therefore said to him, "You are not capable of bringing up that child; +why don't you give her to Priest Dow?"--"Will he take her?" asked my +father. "Yes," she replied, "he will put her into the nunnery, and the +nuns will take better care of her than you can." "On what condition will +they take her?" he asked. "Give the priest one hundred dollars," replied +the artful woman, "and he will take good care of her as long as she +lives." + +This seemed a very plausible story; but I am sure my father did not +realize what he was doing. Had he waited for a little reflection, he +would never have consented to such an arrangement, and my fate would +have been quite different. But as it was, he immediately sent for the +priest, and gave me to him, to be provided for, as his own child, until +I was of age. I was then to be allowed to go out into the world if I +chose. To this, Priest Dow consented, in consideration of one hundred +dollars, which he received, together with a good bed and bedding. My +mother's gold ear-rings were also entrusted to his care, until I should +be old enough to wear them. But I never saw them again. Though I was at +that time but six years old, I remember perfectly, all that passed upon +that memorable occasion. I did not then comprehend the full meaning of +what was said, but I understood enough to fill my heart with sorrow and +apprehension. + +When their bargain was completed, Priest Dow called me to him, saying, +with a smile, "You are a stubborn little girl, I guess, a little +naughty, sometimes, are you not?" Surprised and alarmed, I replied, "No, +sir." He then took hold of my hair, which was rather short, drew it back +from my forehead with a force that brought the tears to my eyes, and +pressing his hand heavily on my head, he again asked if I was not +sometimes a little wilful and disobedient. I was so much frightened at +this, I turned to my father, and with tears and sobs entreated him not +to send me away with that man, but allow me to stay at home with him. He +drew me to his bosom, wiped away my tears, and sought to quiet my fears +by assuring me that I would have a good and pleasant home; that the nuns +would take better care of me than he could; and that he would often come +to see me. Thus, by the aid of flattery on one side, and sugarplums +on the other, they persuaded me at last to accompany the priest to the +White Nunnery, St. Paul's street, Quebec. + +I was too young to realize the sad change in my situation, or to +anticipate the trials and privations that awaited me. But I was deeply +grieved thus to leave my father, my only real friend, my mother being +dead, and my grandfather a heretic, whom I had been taught to regard +with the utmost abhorrence. Little, however, did I think that this was a +last farewell. But such it was. Though he had promised to come often to +see me, I never saw my father again; never even heard from him; and now, +I do not know whether he is dead or alive. + + + + +CHAPTER II. + +THE WHITE NUNNERY. + +On my arrival at the nunnery, I was placed under the care of a lady whom +they called a Superior. She took me into a room alone, and told me that +the priest would come to me in the morning to hear confession, and I +must confess to him all my sins. "What are sins?" I asked, and, "How +shall I confess? I don't know what it means." "Don't know what sins +are!" she exclaimed in great astonishment "Why, child, I am surprised +that you should be so ignorant! Where have you lived all your days?" +With all the simplicity of childhood, I replied, "With my father; +and once I lived with my grandfather; but they didn't tell me how to +confess." "Well," said she, "you must tell the priest all your wicked +thoughts, words, and actions." "What is wicked?" I innocently asked. +"If you have ever told an untruth;" she replied, "or taken what did not +belong to you, or been in any way naughty, disobedient, or unkind; if +you have been angry, or quarrelled with your playmates, that was wicked, +and you must tell the priest all about it If you try to conceal, or +keep back anything, the priest will know it and punish you. You cannot +deceive him if you try, for he knows all you do, or say, or even think; +and if you attempt it, you'll only get yourself into trouble. But if +you are resolved to be a good girl, kind, gentle, frank, sincere, and +obedient, the priest will love you, and be kind to you." + +When I was conducted to my room, at bedtime, I rejoiced to find in it +several little cot beds, occupied by little girls about my own age, who +had been, like myself, consigned to the tender mercies of priests and +nuns. I thought if we must live in that great gloomy house, which even +to my childish imagination seemed so much like a prison, we could +in some degree dispel our loneliness and mitigate our sorrows, by +companionship and sympathy. But I was soon made to know that even this +small comfort would not be allowed us, for the Superior, as she assisted +me to bed, told me that I must not speak, or groan, or turn upon my +side, or move in any way; for if I made the least noise or disturbance, +I would be severely punished. She assured me that if we disobeyed in the +least particular, she would know it, even if she was not present, and +deal with us accordingly. She said that when the clock struck twelve, +the bell would ring for prayers; that we must then rise, and kneel with +our heads bowed upon the bed, and repeat the prayer she taught us. When, +at length, she left us, locking the door after her, I was so frightened, +I did not dare to sleep, lest I should move, or fail to awake at the +proper time. + +Slowly passed the hours of that long and weary night, while I lay, +waiting the ringing of the bell, or thinking upon the past with deep +regret. The most fearful visions haunted my brain, and fears of future +punishment filled my mind. How could I hope to escape it, when they were +so very strict, and able to read my most secret thoughts? What would I +not have given could I have been again restored to my father? True he +was intemperate, but at that time I thought not of this; I only knew +that he was always kind to me, that he never refused what I asked of +him. I sometimes think, even now, that if he had not so cruelly thrust +me from him, I might have been able to win him from his cups and evil +course of life. But this was not to be. Having given himself up to the +demon of intemperance, it is not surprising that he should have given +away his only child; that he should have placed her in the hands of +those who proved utterly unworthy of the trust. But however indignant I +may at times have felt towards him, for the one great wrong he committed +against me, still I do not believe he would ever have done it but for +the influence of ardent spirits. Moreover, I do not suppose that he had +the least idea what kind of a place it was. He wished, doubtless, that +his child might be well educated; that she might be shielded from the +many trials and temptations that cluster around the footsteps of the +young and inexperienced, in the midst of a cold and heartless world. +From these evils the nunnery, he thought, would be a secure retreat, for +there science, religion, and philanthropy, PROFESSEDLY, go hand in hand. +Like many other deluded parents, he thought that "Holiness to the Lord" +was inscribed upon those walls, and that nothing which could pervert or +defile the youthful mind, was permitted to enter there. With these views +and feelings, he was undoubtedly sincere when he told me, "I would have +a good home, and the nuns would take better care of me than he could." +Rash his decision certainly was, cruel it proved to be; but I shall ever +give him credit for good intentions. + +At length the bell rang, and all the girls immediately left their beds, +and placed themselves upon their knees. I followed their example, but +I had scarcely time to kneel by my bed, when the Superior came into the +room with a light in her hand, and attended by a priest. He came to me, +opened a book, and told me to cross myself. This ceremony he instructed +me to perform in the following manner: the right hand is placed upon the +forehead, and drawn down to the breast; then across the breast from +left to right. The Superior then told me to say the prayer called +"Hail Mary!" I attempted to do so, but failed, for, though I had often +repeated it after my father, I could not say it correctly alone. She +then bade me join my hands, and repeat it after her. "Hail Mary! Full of +grace! The Lord be with thee! Blessed art thou among women! Blessed is +the fruit of thy womb, Jesus! Mother of God! Pray for us sinners, now, +and at the hour of our death, Amen." + +"Now," said the Superior, as I rose from my knees, "you must learn every +word of that prayer before to-morrow night, or go without your supper." +I tried my best to remember it, but with so little instruction, for she +repeated it to me but once, I found it quite impossible the next night +to say it correctly. Of course, I was compelled to go without my supper. +This may seem a light punishment to those who have enough to eat--who +sit down to a full table, and satisfy their appetite three times per +day, but to a nun, who is allowed only enough to sustain life, it +is quite a different thing. And especially to a child, this mode of +punishment is more severe, and harder to bear than almost any other. I +thought I would take good care not to be punished in that way again; but +I little knew what was before me. + +Before the Superior left us she assisted me into bed, and bade me be +very still until the second bell in the morning. Then, I must rise +and dress as quickly as possible, and go to her room. Quietness, she +enjoined upon me as a virtue, while the least noise, or disturbance of +any kind, would be punished as a crime. She said I must walk very softly +indeed along the halls, and close the doors so carefully that not +a sound could be heard. After giving me these first instructions in +convent life, she left me, and I was allowed to sleep the rest of the +night. + +The next morning, I awoke at the ringing of the first bell, but I did +not dare to stir until the second bell, when the other little girls +arose in great haste. I then dressed as quickly as possible, but not +a word was spoken--not a thought, and scarcely a look exchanged. I +was truly "alone amid a crowd," and I felt the utter loneliness of my +situation most keenly. Yet I saw very clearly that there was but one +course for me to pursue, and that was, to obey in all things; to have +no will of my own, and thus, if possible, escape punishment. But it was +hard, very hard for me to bring my mind to this. I had been the idolized +child of affection too long to submit readily and patiently to the +privations I was now forced to endure. Hitherto my will had been law. +I had naturally an imperious, violent temper, which I had never been +taught to govern. Instead of this, my appetites were pampered, my +passions indulged, and every desire gratified as far as possible. Until +that last sad parting, I hardly knew what it was to have a request +refused; and now, to experience such a change--such a sudden transition +from the most liberal indulgence to the most cruel and rigorous +self-denial--Oh, it was a severe trial to my independent spirit to +submit to it. Yet, submit I must, for I had learned, even then, that +my newly appointed guardians were not to be trifled with. Henceforth, +OBEDIENCE must be my motto. To every command, however cruel and unjust, +I must yield a blind, passive, and unquestioning obedience. + +I dressed as quickly as possible, and hastened down to the Superior. +As I passed through the hall, I thought I would be very careful to step +softly, but in my haste I forgot what she said about closing the door, +and it came together with a loud crash. On entering the room, I found +the Superior waiting for me; in her hand she held a stick about a foot +long, to the end of which was attached nine leather strings, some twelve +or fifteen inches long, and about the size of a man's little finger. She +bade me come to her, in a voice so cold and stern it sent a thrill of +terror through my frame, and I trembled with the apprehension of some +impending evil. I had no idea that she was about to punish me, for I +was not aware that I had done anything to deserve it; but her looks +frightened me, and I feared,--I know not what. She took hold of my arm, +and without saying a word, gave me ten or twelve strokes over the head +and shoulders with this miniature cat-o'-nine-tails. Truly, with her, it +was "a word and a blow, and the blow came first." Wherever the strings +chanced to fall upon the bare flesh, they raised the skin, as though a +hot iron had been applied to it. In some places they took off the skin +entirely, and left the flesh raw, and quivering with the stinging +pain. I could not think at first what I had done to deserve this severe +punishment, nor did she condescend to enlighten me. But when I began +to cry, and beg to go to my father, she sternly bade me stop crying at +once, for I could not go to my father. I must stay there, she said, and +learn to remember all her commands and obey then. She then taught me the +following verse: + + I am a little nun, + The sisters I will mind; + When I am pretty and learn, + Then they will use me kind. + I must not be so noisy + When I go about the house, + I'll close the doors so softly + They'll think I am a mouse. + +This verse I repeated until I could say it correctly. I was then +taken to the breakfast-room, where I was directed to kneel before the +crucifix, and say my prayers, which I repeated after the Superior. I was +then seated at the table, and directed to hold my head down, and fix my +eyes upon my plate. I must not look at any one, or gaze about the room; +but sit still, and quietly eat what was given me. I had upon my plate, +one thin slice of wheat bread, a bit of potato, and a very small cup of +milk. This was my stated allowance, and I could have no more, however +hungry I might be. The same quantity was given me every meal, when +in usual health, until I was ten years of age. On fast days, no food +whatever was allowed; and we always fasted for three meals before +receiving the sacrament. This ceremony was observed every third day, +therefore we were obliged to fast about one-third of the time. +Yet, however long the fast might be, my allowance of food was never +increased. + +After breakfast the Superior took me to Priest Dow for confession. He +kept me with him all day, allowing me neither food nor drink; nor did +he permit me to break my fast until four o'clock the next day. I then +received what they call the sacrament, for the first time. + +To prepare for this, I was clad in a white dress and cape, and a white +cap on my head. I was then led to the chapel, and passing up the aisle, +knelt before the altar. Priest Dow then came and stood before me, +and taking from a wine-glass a small thin wafer, he placed it upon my +tongue, at the same time repeating some Latin words, which, the Superior +afterwards told me, mean in English, "The body and blood of Christ." I +was taught to believe that I held in my mouth the real body and blood +of Christ. I was also told that if I swallowed the wafer before it had +melted on my tongue, IT WOULD CHOKE ME TO DEATH; and if I indulged an +evil thought while I held it in my mouth I SHOULD FALL INTO A POOL OF +BLOOD. + + + + +CHAPTER III. + +THE NURSERY. + +While in the White Nunnery, I spent the most of my time in the nursery. +But the name gives one no idea of the place. The freedom and careless +gayety, so characteristic of other nurseries, had no place in this. No +cheerful conversation, no juvenile merriment, or pleasureable excitement +of any kind, were ever allowed. A merry laugh, on the contrary, a witty +jest, or a sly practical joke, would have been punished as the most +heinous offence. Here as elsewhere in the establishment, the strictest +rules of silence and obedience were rigidly enforced. There were twenty +little girls in the room with me, but we were never permitted to speak +to each other, nor to any one except a priest or a Superior. When +directly addressed by either of them we were allowed to answer; but we +might never ask a question, or make a remark, or in any way, either by +looks, words, or signs, hold communication with each other. Whenever we +did so, it was at the risk of being discovered and severely punished. +Yet this did not repress the desire for conversation; it only made us +more cautious, artful, and deceptive. The only recreation allowed us +was fifteen minutes' exercise in the yard every morning and evening. We +might then amuse ourselves as we chose, but were required to spend +the whole time in some kind of active exercise; if one of our number +ventured to sit still, we were all punished the next day by being kept +in the house. + +It was my business, while in the nursery, to dust all the furniture +and the floor, with a flannel mop, made and kept for this purpose. The +floors were all painted and varnished, and very easily kept clean. + +Two hours and a half each day we spent with a priest, whom we were +taught to call Father Darity (I do not know as I spell this and other +names correctly, but I give it to the reader as it sounded to my ear). +He appeared to take great pleasure in learning us to repeat the prayers +and catechism required by Priest Dow. He also gave us a variety of +instructions in other things, enjoining in particular the most absolute +obedience and perfect silence. He assured us that if we dared to disobey +him in the least particular, he should know it, even if he was not +present with us at the time. He said he knew all our thoughts, words, +and actions; and if we did not obey, he should "EAT US WITH A GRAIN OF +SALT." + +I presume my reader will smile at this, and exclaim, "How absurd!" Yes, +to you it is absurd; but to the mind of a child who placed the utmost +confidence in his veracity, it was an evidence that he was invested +with supernatural powers. For myself I believed every word he said, +and nothing would have tempted me to disobey him. Perfect obedience he +considered the highest attainment, and, to secure this, the greatest of +all virtues, no means were thought too severe. We were frightened and +punished in every possible way. + +But, though Father Darity acted on the one great principle with the +Romanists, that the "end sanctifies the means," he was in general a much +kinder man than Priest Dow. He urged us on with our catechism as fast as +possible, telling us, as a motive to greater diligence, that the bishop +was soon to visit us, and that we could not be admitted to his presence +until we had our prayers and catechism perfectly. + +One day, when we were in the yard at play, I told one of the little +girls that I did not like to live there; that I did not like one of the +people in the house; that I wished to return to my father, and I should +tell him so the first time he came to see me. + +"Then you like to live with your father?" said she. I told her I did, +for then I could do as I pleased, without the fear of punishment. She +said that she did not like to live there any better than I did. I asked +her why she did not go away, if she disliked to stay. She replied, "I +should like to go away well enough, if I had any friends to go to; but +my father and mother are both dead, and I have no home but this; so you +see I must stay here if they wish me to; but there is one consolation; +if we are good girls, and try to do right, they will be kind to us." I +made no further remark; but the moment we returned to the house she +told the Superior what I said, taking good care not to repeat her own +expressions, and leaving the Superior to infer that she had made no +reply. + +I saw at once by the stern look that came over the lady's face that she +was very angry; and I would gladly have recalled those few hasty words +had it been in my power to have done so. She immediately left the room, +but soon returned with Priest Dow. His countenance also indicated +anger, as he took hold of my arm and led me to a darkened room, in which +several candles were burning. + +Here I saw three scenes, which I think must have been composed of +images, pictures, and curtains. I do not pretend to describe them +correctly, I can only tell how they appeared to me. + +The first was an image of Christ on the cross, with his arms extended as +we usually see them in pictures. On his right hand was a representation +of heaven, and on the left, of hell. Heaven was made to appear like a +bright, beautiful, and glorious place. A wall of pink color surrounded +it, and in the center was a spring of clear water. In the midst of this +spring stood a tree, bearing on every limb a lighted candle, and on the +top, the image of Christ and a dove. + +Hell was surrounded by a black wall, within which, there was also a +spring; but the water was very black, and beside it stood a large black +image, with horns on its head, a long tail, and a large cloven foot. The +place where it stood was in deep shadow, made to resemble, as neatly +as possible, clouds and darkness. The priest led me up to this fearful +object, and placed me on one side of it, while he stood on the other; +but it would turn away from him towards me, roll up its great eyes, open +its mouth and show its long white tusks. The priest said it turned from +him, because he was a good man, and I was very wicked. He said that it +was the devil, come up from the bottomless pit to devour me; and if I +said such wicked words again, it would carry me off. I was very much +frightened, for I then thought that all he said was true; that those +images, which I now know were strung on wires were really what they were +made to represent. + +In fact, until I was fifteen years old, I really believed that the image +I then saw was an evil spirit. But since that time, I have been made +to know that the priests themselves are the only evil spirits about the +place. + +Priest Dow then led me back to the nursery, and left me with the +Superior. But he soon came, back, saying he "knew what I was thinking +about; that I had wicked thoughts about him; thought he was a bad man, +and that I wished to leave him and go to my father;" Now this was all +true, and the fact that he knew it, frightened me accordingly. It was a +sure proof that what Father Darity said was true. But how could I ever +be safe, if they could thus read the inmost secrets of my soul? I did +dislike them all very much indeed and I could not help it. How then +could I avert the consequences of this deep aversion to convent life, +since it could not be concealed? Was it possible for me so far to +conquer myself, as to love the persons with whom I lived? How many +nights did I lie awake pondering this question, and resolving to make +the effort. I was, of course, too young to know that it was only by +shrewd guessing, and a general knowledge of human nature, that he was +enabled to tell my thoughts so correctly. + +"Now," said he, "for indulging these dreadful thoughts, I shall take you +back to the devil, and give you up to him." I was frightened before; but +I have no words to describe my feelings when he again led me back, and +left me beside the image, saying, as he closed the door, "If the devil +groans three times, and the Lord does not speak, you must stay here +until to-morrow at this time." I trembled so that I could hardly stand, +and when, after a few moments, a sound like a groan fell upon my ears, I +shrieked in the extremity of terror. + +[Footnote: Cioui, formerly a Benedictine Monk, giving an account of his +imprisonment at Rome, after his conversion says:-- + +"One evening, after listening to a discourse filled with dark images of +death, I returned to my room, and found the light set upon the ground. +I took it up and approached the table to place it there, but what was +my horror and consternation at beholding spread out upon it, a whitened +skeleton! Before the reader can comprehend my dismay, it is necessary +he should reflect for a moment on the peculiarities of childhood, +especially in a Romish country, where children are seldom spoken to +except in superstitious language, whether by their parents or teachers: +and domestics adopt the same style to answer their own purposes, +menacing their disobedient charges with hobgoblins, phantoms and +witches. Such images as these make a profound impression on tender +minds, leaving a panic terror which the reasoning of after years is +often unable entirely to efface. There can be no doubt but that this +pernicious habit, is the fruit of the noxious plant fostered in the +Vatican. Rising generations must be brought up in superstitious terror, +in order to render them susceptible to every kind of absurdity; for this +terror is the powerful spring, employed by the priests and friars, to +move at their pleasure families, cities, provinces, nations. Although +in families of the higher order, this method of alarming infancy is much +discountenanced, nevertheless, it is impossible but that it should in +some degree prevail in the nursery. Nor was it probable that I should +escape this infections malady, having passed my whole days in an +atmosphere, charged more than any other with that impure miasma +priest-craft."] + +Then immediately I heard the question, and it seemed to come from the +figure of Christ, "Will you obey? Will you leave off sin?" I answered in +the affirmative as well as I could, for the convulsive sobs that shook +my frame almost stopped my utterance. I now know that when the priest +left me, he placed himself, or an assistant, behind a curtain close to +the images, and it was his voice that I heard. But I was then too young +to detect their treacherous practices and deceitful ways. + +On being taken back to the Superior, I was immediately attacked with +severe illness, and had fits all night. It seemed to me that I could +see that image of the devil everywhere. If I closed my eyes, I thought +I could feel him on my bed, pressing on my breast, and he was so heavy I +could scarcely breathe. I was very sick, and suffered much bodily pain, +but the tortures of an excited imagination were greater by far, and +harder to bear than any physical suffering. For long years after, that +image haunted my dreams, and even now I often, in sleep, live over again +the terrors of that fearful scene. I was sick a long time; how long I do +not know; but I became so weak I could not raise myself in bed, and they +had an apparatus affixed to the wall to raise me with. For several days +I took no nourishment, except a teaspoonful of brandy and water which +was given me as often as I could take it I continued to have fits every +day for more than two years, nor did I ever entirely recover from the +effects of that fright. Even now, though years have passed away, a +little excitement or a sudden shock, will sometimes throw me into one of +those fits. + + + + +CHAPTER IV. + +A SLAVE FOR LIFE. + +During this illness I was placed under the care of an Abbess whom they +called St. Bridget. There were many other Abbesses in the convent, but +she was the principal one, and had the care of all the clothing. If +the others wished for clean clothes, they were obliged to go to her for +them. In that way I saw them all, but did not learn their names. They +approached me and looked at me, but seldom spoke. This I thought very +strange, but I now know they dared not speak. One day an Abbess came to +my bed, and after standing a few moments with the tears silently flowing +down her cheeks, asked me if I had a mother. I told her I had not, and I +began to weep most bitterly. I was very weak, and the question recalled +to my mind the time when I shared a father's love, and enjoyed my +liberty. Then, I could go and come as I chose, but now, a slave for +life, I could have no will of my own, I must go at bidding, and come at +command. This, I am well aware, may seem to some extravagant language; +but I use the right word. I was, literally, a slave; and of all kinds of +slavery, that which exists in a convent is the worst. I say, THE WORST, +because the story of wrong and outrage which occasionally finds its way +to the public ear, is not generally believed. You pity the poor black +man who bends beneath the scourge of southern bondage, for the tale +comes to you from those who have seen his tears and heard his groans. +But you have no tears, no prayers, no efforts for the poor helpless +nun who toils and dies beneath the heartless cruelty of an equally +oppressive task-master. No; for her you have no sympathy, for you do not +believe her word. Within those precincts of cruelty, no visitor is ever +admitted. No curious eye may witness the secrets of their prison-house. +Consequently, there is no one to bear direct testimony to the truth of +her statements. Even now, methinks, I see your haughty brow contract, +and your lip curl with scorn, as with supreme contempt you throw down +these pages and exclaim, "'Tis all a fiction. Just got up to make money. +No proof that it is true." No proof do you say? O, that the strong arm +of the law would interpose in our behalf!--that some American Napoleon +would come forth, and break open those prison doors, and drag forth to +the light of day those hidden instruments of torture! There would then +be proof enough to satisfy the most incredulous, that, so far from being +exaggerated, the half has not been told. Sons of America! Will you not +arise in your might, and demand that these convent doors be opened, and +"the oppressed" allowed to "go free"? Or if this be denied, sweep from +the fair earth, the black-hearted wretches who dare, in the very face +of heaven, to commit such fearful outrages upon helpless, suffering +humanity? How long--O how long will you suffer these dens of iniquity +to remain unopened? How long permit this system of priestly cruelty to +continue? + +But I am wandering from my story. Would that I might forever wander +from it--that I might at once blot from memory's page, the fearful +recollection that must follow me to my grave! Yet, painful as it is +to rehearse the past, if I can but awaken your sympathy for other +sufferers, if I can but excite you to efforts for their deliverance, it +is all I ask. I shall have my reward. But to return to my story. + +The Abbess saw how deeply I was grieved, and immediately left the room. +St. Bridget told me not to cry, for she would be a mother to me as long +as I remained with her, and she was true to her promise. Another sister, +who sometimes came to my room, I believe was crazy. She would run up to +my bed, put her hand on me, and burst into a loud and hearty laugh. This +she repeated as often as she came, and I told the Abbess one day, I did +wish that sister would not come to see me, for she acted so strange, I +was afraid of her. She replied, "do not care for her; she always does +just so, but we do not mind her; you must be careful what you say," she +continued, "for if you speak of her before any of the sisters, they may +get you into trouble." + +When I began to get better, I had a sharp appetite for food, and was +hungry a great part of the time. One of the sisters used to bring me a +piece of bread concealed under her cape and hide it under my pillow. +How she obtained it, I do not know, unless she saved it from her own +allowance. It was very easy for her to hide it in this way, for the nuns +always walk with one hand under their cape and the other by the side. +Truly, in this instance, "bread eaten in secret" was "pleasant." Of +all the luxuries I ever tasted, those stolen bits of bread were the +sweetest. + +During my illness I thought a great deal about my father, and wondered +why he did not come to see me, as he had promised. I used to cry for him +in my sleep, and very often awoke in tears. St. Bridget sought in every +possible way to make me forget him, and the priest would tell me that I +need not think so much about him, for he no longer cared for me. He +said the devil had got him, and I would never see him again. These cruel +words, so far from making me forget, served to awaken a still greater +desire to see him, and increased my grief because I was denied the +privilege. + +In the room with me, were six other little girls, who were all sick at +the same time, and St. Bridget took care of us all For two of the little +girls, I felt the greatest sympathy. They were quite young, I think not +more than three years of age, and they grieved continually. They made +no complaint, did not even shed a tear, but they sobbed all the time, +whether asleep or awake. Of their history, I could learn nothing at that +time, except the fact, that they were taken from their parents for the +good of their souls. I afterwards overheard a conversation that led me +to think that they were heirs to a large property, which, if they were +out of the way, would go to the church. But it is of what I know, and +not what I think, that I have undertaken to write, and I do know that +the fate of those little girls was hard in the extreme, whatever might +have been the cause of their being there. Poor little creatures! No +wonder their hearts were broken. Torn from parents and friends while yet +in early childhood--doomed while life is spared, to be subject to the +will of those who know no mercy--who feel no pity, but consider it a +religious duty to crush, and destroy all the pure affections--all the +exquisite sensibilities of the human soul. Yet to them these hapless +babes must look for all the earthly happiness they could hope to enjoy. +They were taught to obey them in all things, and consider them their +only friends and protectors. I never saw them after I left that room, +but they did not live long. I was glad they did not, for in the cold +grave their sufferings would be over and they would rest in peace. + +O, how little do Protestants know the sufferings of a nun! and truly +no one can know them except by personal experience. One may imagine the +most aggravated form of cruelty, the most heart-rending agonies, yet I +do believe the conception of the most active imagination would fall +far short of the horrible reality. I do not believe there was one happy +individual in that convent, or that any one there, if I except the lady +Superior, knew anything of enjoyment. Life with them was a continual +round of ceaseless toil and bitter self-denial; while each one had some +secret grief slowly but surely gnawing away the heart-strings. I have +sometimes seen the Abbess sitting by the bedside of the sick, with her +eyes closed, while the big tears fell unchecked over her pale cheeks. +When I asked her why she wept, she would shake her head, but never +speak. I now know that she dare not speak for fear of punishment. + +The abbesses in the various parts of this convent are punished as much +as the nuns, if they dare to disobey the rules of the priests; and if +the least of these are broken in the presence of any one in the house, +they will surely tell of it at confession. In fact, they are required +to do this; and if it is known that one has seen a rule broken, or a +command disobeyed, without reporting it, a severe punishment is sure to +follow. Thus every individual is a spy upon the rest; and while every +failure is visited with condign punishment, the one who makes the most +reports is so warmly approved, that poor human nature can hardly resist +the temptation to play the traitor. Friendship cannot exist within +the walls of a convent, for no one can be trusted, even with the most +trifling secret. Whoever ventures to try it is sure to be betrayed. + +While I was sick Father Darity came often to see me, and by his kindness +succeeded in gaining my affections. I was a great favorite with him; +he always called me his little girl, and tried in every way to make me +contented. He wished to make me say that I was happy there, that I +liked to live with them as well as with my father. But I could never be +persuaded to say this, for it was not the truth, and I would not tell a +falsehood unless forced to do so. He said I must be a good girl, and he +hoped I would sometime see better times, but I could never see my father +again, and I must not desire it. He advised me, however hard it might +be, to try and love all who came into the nunnery, even those who were +unkind, who wished to injure me or wound my feelings. He told me how +Jesus Christ loved his enemies; how he died for them a cruel death on +the cross; how, amid his bitter agonies, he prayed for them, and with +his expiring breath he cried, "Father, forgive them, they know not what +they do." "And now," said he, "can you do as Jesus Christ did? He has +set you an example, can you not follow it?" "No, sir," I replied, "I +cannot love those who punish me so cruelly, so unjustly. I cannot love +the little girl who reported what I said in the yard, when she said as +bad things as I did." "But you forget," said he, "that in doing this she +only obeyed the rules of the house. She only did her duty; if you +had done yours, you would have reported her." "I'll never do that," I +exclaimed, emboldened by his kindness. "It is a bad rule, and--" "Hush, +hush, child!" he cried, interrupting me. "Do you know to whom you are +speaking? and do you forget that you are a little girl? Are you wiser +than your teachers? I must give you a penance for those naughty words, +and you will pray for a better spirit." He said much more to me, and +gave me good advice that I remember much better than I followed. He +enjoined if upon me to keep up good courage, as I would gain my health +faster. He then bade me farewell, telling me not to forget, to repeat +certain prayers as a penance for my sin in speaking so boldly. O, did +he think when he talked to me so kindly, so faithfully, that it was his +last opportunity to give me good advice? Did he know that he left me to +return no more? I saw nothing unusual in his appearance, and I did not +suspect that it was the last time I should see his pleasant face and +listen to his kindly voice. I loved that man, and bitter were the tears +I shed when I learned that I should never see him again. The Abbess +informed me that he was sent away for something he had done, she did not +know what. O that something! I knew well enough what it was. He had a +kind heart; he could feel for the unfortunate, and that, with the Roman +Catholics, is an "unpardonable sin." + + + + +CHAPTER V. + +CEREMONY OF CONFIRMATION. + +I continued to regain my health slowly, and the Abbess said they would +soon send me back to the nursery. I could not endure the thought of +this, for I had the greatest fear of the Abbess who had the charge of +that department. She was very cruel, while St. Bridget was as kind +as she dare to be. She knew full well that if she allowed herself to +exhibit the least feeling of affection for those children, she would be +instantly removed, and some one placed over them who would not give way +to such weakness. We all saw how it was, and loved her all the more +for the severity of her reproofs when any one was near. With tears, +therefore, I begged to be allowed to stay with her; and when the priest +came for me, she told him that she thought I had better remain with her +till I gained a little more strength. + +To this he consented, and I was very grateful indeed for the kindness. +Wishing in some way to express my gratitude, as soon as I was able I +assisted in taking care of the other little girls as much as possible. +St. Bridget, in turn, taught me to read a little, so that I could learn +my prayers when away from her. She also gave me a few easy lessons in +arithmetic, and instructed me to speak the Celt language. She always +spoke in that, or the French, which I could speak before, having learned +it from the family where I lived after my father gave up his saloon. +They were French Catholics and spoke no other language. + +As soon as I was sufficiently recovered to leave my room, I was taken to +the chapel to be confirmed. Before they came for me, the abbess told me +what questions would be asked, and the answers I should be required +to give. She said they would ask me if I wished to see my father; if I +should like to go back to the world, etc. To these and similar questions +she said I must give a negative answer. "But," said I, "that will be a +falsehood, and I will not say so for any of them." "Hush, hush, child!" +she exclaimed, with a frightened look. "You must not talk so. From my +heart I pity you; but it will be better for you to answer as I tell +you, for if you refuse they will punish you till you do. Remember," she +added, emphatically, "remember what I say: it will be better for you +to do as I tell you." And she made me promise that I would. "But why do +they wish me to tell a lie?" I asked. "They do not wish you to tell a +lie," she replied; "they wish you to do right, and feel right; to be +contented and willing to forget the world." "But I do not wish to forget +the world," I said. "I am not contented, and saying that I am will not +make me feel so. Is it right to tell a lie?" "It is right for you to +obey," she replied, with more severity in her tone than I ever heard +before. "Do you know," she continued, "that it is a great sin for you +to talk so?" "A sin!" I exclaimed, in astonishment; "why is it a sin?" +"Because," she replied, "you have no right to inquire why a command +is given. Whatever the church commands, we must obey, and that, too, +without question or complaint. If we are not willing to do this, it +is the duty of the Bishop and the priests to punish us until we are +willing. All who enter a convent renounce forever their own will." "But +I didn't come here myself," said I; "my father put me here to stay a few +years. When I am eighteen I shall go out again." "That does not make any +difference," she replied. "You are here, and your duty is obedience. +But my dear," she continued, "I advise you never again to speak of going +out, for it can never be. By indulging such hopes you are preparing +yourself for a great disappointment. By speaking of it, you will, +I assure you, get yourself into trouble. You may not find others +so indulgent as I am; therefore, for your own sake, I hope you +will relinquish all idea of ever leaving the convent, and try to be +contented." Such was the kind of instruction I received at the White +Nunnery. I did not feel as much disappointed at the information that I +was never to go into the world again as she had expected. I had felt for +a long time, almost, indeed, from my first entrance, that such would be +my fate, and though deeply grieved, I was able to control my feelings. + +The great day at length came for which the Abbess had been so long +preparing me. I say great, for in our monotonous life, the smallest +circumstance seemed important. Moreover, I was assured that my future +happiness depended very much upon the answers, I that day gave to the +various questions put to me. When about to be taken to the chapel, St. +Bridget begged the priest to be careful and not frighten me, lest it +should bring on my fits again. I was led into the chapel and made to +kneel before the altar. The bishop and five priests were present, and +also, a man whom I had never seen before, but I was told he was the +Pope's Nuncio, and that he came a long way to visit them. I think this +was true, for they all seemed to regard him as a superior. I shall never +forget my feelings when he asked me the following questions, which I +answered as I had been directed. "Who do you believe in?" "God." "How +many persons are there in God?" "Three; the Father, Son, and Holy Ghost." +"What world have you lately left?" "The world of sin and Satan." "Do you +wish to go back and live with your father?" "No Sir." "Do you think you +can live all your life with us." "I think I can, sir." He then said, +"You will not fare any better than you have hitherto, and perhaps not +as well." It was with the greatest difficulty that I could control my +feelings sufficiently to answer this last question. But remembering +what the Abbess had told me, I suppressed my tears, and choked down +the rising sob. Surely those men must have known that I was telling a +falsehood--that the profession I made was not in accordance with my real +sentiments. For myself, I then felt, and still feel that the guilt was +not mine. The sin did not rest with me. + +The Bishop was then told to hear my confession, after which, a priest +took some ointment from a small box, and rubbed it on my forehead, and +another priest came with a towel and wiped it off. I was then taken +back to St. Bridget, with whom I remained, as long as I was in the White +Nunnery. + +On my tenth birthday, the Bishop came to the Abbess very early in the +morning, and informed her that I was to take the White Veil that day, +and immediately after the ceremony, I would leave for the Grey Nunnery +in Montreal. He desired her to make all the necessary preparation, and +take her leave of me, as she would not see me again. This was sad news +for us both, for I felt that she was my only friend, and I knew that she +felt for me, the most sincere affection. She gave me much good advice in +reference to my future conduct, and with tears exhorted me to be kind, +cheerful, and obedient. I was going to a new place, she said, and if I +was a good girl, and sought to please my superiors, I would find some +one to be kind to me. She advised me to try and appear contented +in whatever situation I might be placed, and above all other +considerations, never disobey the least command. "Obedience," she again +repeated, "is the rule in all convents, and it will be better for you to +obey at once, and cheerfully, and willingly comply with every request, +than to incur displeasure and perhaps punishment, by any appearance of +reluctance or hesitation. If there is any one thing that you dislike to +do, be sure that you do not betray your feelings, for if you do, that +will be the very thing they will require of you; and I assure you, if +you once become the object of suspicion or dislike, your condition will +be anything but agreeable. You will be marked and watched, and required +to do many unpleasant things, to say the least. Therefore I hope you +will perform all your duties with a cheerful and willing spirit." +Bitterly did I grieve at the thought of being separated from the only +being on earth who seemed to care for me. In the anguish of the moment, +I wished I might die. St. Bridget reproved me, saying encouragingly +that death was the coward's refuge, sought only by those who had not the +resolution to meet, endure, or overcome the trials of life. She exhorted +me to courage, perseverance and self denial, saying that if I fought +life's battle bravely, I would have my reward. + +She changed all my clothes, and assisted me to put on a white dress +and cape, and a white cap and veil. She then gave me a card of good +behavior, embraced me for the last time, and led me out to the Bishop, +who was waiting to conduct me to the chapel where the ceremony was to be +performed. + +I there met ten other little girls, who, like myself, were compelled +to take upon themselves vows they did not understand, and thus, by an +apparently voluntary act, consign themselves to slavery for life. They +were all strangers to me, sent here, as I afterwards learned, from some +nunnery in Ireland, where they had friends who were too solicitous for +their welfare. The priests do not wish the nuns to see friends from the +world, and they will frame almost any plausible excuse to prevent it. +But when the friends become too urgent, as they sometimes do, and their +inventive powers are taxed too severely, or if the task of furnishing so +many excuses become too irksome, the poor hapless victims are sent +off to some other nunnery, and the friends are told that they were not +contented, and wished to go to some other place, and that they, generous +creatures that they are, have at length, after much solicitation, kindly +consented to their removal. And this too, when they know that these very +girls are grieving their lives away, for a sight of those dear friends, +who, they are confidently assured, are either dead, or have entirely +forgotten them! Can the world of woe itself furnish deceit of a darker +dye? + +The Bishop led me up to the altar, and put a lighted candle into my +hand. He then went under the altar, on which a lighted candle was +placed, and soon returned followed by two little boys whom they called +apostles. They held, each, a lighted torch with which they proceeded to +light two more candles. On a table near the altar, stood a coffin, and +soon two priests entered, bearing another coffin, which they placed +beside the other. A white cloth was spread over them, and burning +candles placed at the head and foot. These movements frightened me +exceedingly, for I thought they were going to kill me. + +Forgetting in my terror that I was not allowed to speak, I asked the +Bishop if he was going to kill me. "Kill you!" he exclaimed, "O no; +don't be frightened; I shall not hurt you in the least. But it is our +custom, when a nun takes the veil, to lay her in a coffin to show that +she is dead to the world. Did not St. Bridget tell you this?" I told him +she did not, but I did not dare to tell him that I supposed she felt +so bad when she found I must leave her, that she entirely forgot it. He +then asked very pleasantly, which of the two coffins I liked the best, +saying I could have my choice. I replied, "I have no choice." This was +true, for although he assured me to the contrary, I still believed he +was about to kill me, and I cared very little about my coffin. They were +both large enough for a grown person, and beautifully finished, with a +large silver plate on the lid. The Bishop took me up in his arms, and +laid me in one of them, and bade me close my eyes. + +I lay in that coffin a long time, as it seemed to me, without the least +motion. I was so much alarmed, I felt as though I could not even lift +a finger. Meantime the Bishop and priests read alternately from a book, +but in a language I could not understand. Occasionally they would come +and feel my hands and feet, and say to each other, "She is very cold." +I believe they were afraid I should die in their hands, of fear. When +at last they took me up, they told me that I would carry that coffin +to Montreal with me--that I would be laid in it when robed for the +grave--and that my bones would moulder to dust in it. I shall never +forget the impression these words made on my mind. There was something +so horrible in the thought of carrying a coffin about with me all my +life, constantly reminding me of the shortness of time, and the sure +approach of death, I could not endure it. Gladly would I have left it, +costly and elegant as it was, choosing rather to run the risk of being +buried without one, but this was not allowed. I could have no choice in +the matter. + +These ceremonies concluded. I was taken to a small room, and a woman +assisted me to change my clothes again, and put on the Grey Nunnery +suit. This consisted of a grey dress and shoes, and a black cap. Each +nunnery has a peculiar dress which every nun is required to wear. Thus, +on meeting one of them, it is very easy to tell what establishment she +belongs to, and a run-away is easily detected. On leaving the chapel, I +was taken to the steamboat, with the other ten girls, accompanied by a +priest. Our coffins were packed in cotton, and placed on the boat with +us. On our arrival at Montreal, we found a priest and two nuns waiting +for us to conduct us to the nunnery. + + + + +CHAPTER VI. + +THE GREY NUNNERY. + +The Grey Nunnery is situated on St. Paul Street, Montreal. It is four +stories high, besides the basement. It occupies a large space of ground, +I do not know how much, but it is a very extensive building. The roof +is covered with tin, with a railing around it, finished at the top with +sharp points that look like silver, about a foot in length, and +three feet apart. Over the front door there is a porch covered with a +profusion of climbing plants, which give it a beautiful appearance. +The building stands in a large yard, surrounded on all sides by a high +fence, so high indeed, that people who pass along the street can see +no part of the nunnery except the silver points on the roof. The top of +this fence is also finished with long iron spikes. Every thing around +the building seems expressly arranged to keep the inmates in, and +intruders out. In fact it would be nearly impossible for any one to gain +a forcible or clandestine admittance to any part of the establishment. +There are several gates in the fence, how many I do not know, but the +front gate opens on St. Ann Street. Over each of the gates hangs a bell, +connected with the bells in the rooms of the Superior and Abbesses, +which ring whenever the gate is opened. There is always a guard of two +men at each gate, who walk up and down with guns upon their shoulders. +While attempting to give a brief description of this building, I may as +well say that it is constructed with non-conductors between the walls, +so that the ringing of a bell, or the loudest shriek, could not be heard +from one room to the other. The reader will please bear this in mind, as +the reason for the precaution will appear in the course of my narrative. + +The priest, who met us as we left the boat, conducted us to the front +door and rang the bell. Soon a lady appeared, who drew a slide in the +middle of the door, exposing one pane of glass. Through this she looked, +to see who was there, and when satisfied on this point, opened the +door. Here let me remark, that since I left the nunnery, I have heard of +another class of people who find it convenient to have a slide in their +door; and if I am not very much mistaken, the character of the two +houses, or rather the people who live in them, are very much +alike, whether they are nunneries of private families, Catholics or +Protestants. Honest people have no need of a slide in the door, and +where there is so much precaution, may we not suppose that something +behind the curtain imperatively calls for it? It is an old adage, but +true notwithstanding, that "where there is concealment, there must be +something wrong." + +In the hall opposite the front door were two other doors, with a +considerable space between them. The right hand door was opened by the +door-tender, and we entered a room furnished in the plainest manner, but +every thing was neat, and in perfect order. Instead of chairs, on two +sides of the room a long bench was fastened to the sides of the house. +They were neither painted, nor cushioned, but were very white, as was +also the floor, on which there was no carpet. Beside the door stood +a basin of holy water, and directly opposite, an image of the Saviour +extended on the cross which they call a crucifix. + +Here we were left a few moments, then the door-keeper came back, and +asked us if we would like to see the Black Cloisters; and if so, to +follow her. She led us back into the hall, and in the space between the +two doors that I mentioned, she unlocked a bar, and pulling it down, +touched a spring, and immediately a little square door slid back into +the ceiling. Across this door, or window or whatever they called it, +were strong bars of iron about one inch apart. Through this aperture +we were allowed to look, and a sad sight met my eyes. As many as fifty +disconsolate looking ladies were sitting there, who were called Black +Nuns, because they were preparing to take the Black Veil. They were all +dressed in black, a black cap on the head, and a white bandage drawn +across the forehead, to which another was attached, that passed under +the chin. These bandages they always wore, and were not allowed to lay +aside. They sat, each one with a book in her hand, motionless as so many +statues. Not a finger did they move, not an eye was raised, but they +sat gazing upon the page before them as intently as though life itself +depended upon it. Our guide informed us that they were studying the +[footnote] Black Book preparatory to taking the Black Veil and entering +the Cloister. This book was quite a curiosity. It was very large, with a +white cover, and around the edge a black border about an inch wide. + +[Footnote: "The Black Book, or Praxis Sacra Romance Inquisitionis, is +always the model for that which is to succeed it. This book is a large +manuscript volume, in folio, and is carefully preserved by the head of +the Inquisition. It is called Libro Nero, the Black Book, because it +has a cover of that color; or, as an inquisitor explained to me, Libro +Necro, which, in the Greek language, signifies 'The book of the dead.' + +"In this book is the criminal code, with all the punishments for every +supposed crime; also the mode of conducting the trial, so as to elicit +the guilt of the accused; and the manner of receiving accusations. I had +this book in my hand on one occasion, and read therein the proceedings +relative to my own case; and I moreover saw in this same volume some +very astounding particulars; for example, in the list of punishments I +read concerning the bit, or as it is called by us THE MORDACCHIA, which +is a very simple contrivance to confine the tongue, and compress it +between two cylinders composed of iron and wood and furnished with +spikes. This horrible instrument not only wounds the tongue and +occasions excessive pain, but also, from the swelling it produces; +frequently places the sufferer in danger of suffocation. This torture is +generally had recourse to in cases considered as blasphemy against +God, the Virgin, the Saints, or the Pope. So that according to the +Inquisition, it is as great a crime to speak disparagingly of a pope, +who may be a very detestable character, as to blaspheme the holy name +of God. Be that as it may, this torture has been in use till the present +period; and, to say nothing of the exhibitions of this nature which were +displayed in Romanga, in the time of Gregory 16th., by the Inquisitor +Ancarani--in Umbria by Stefanelli, Salva, and others, we may admire +the inquisitorial seal of Cardinal Feretti, the cousin of his present +holiness, who condescended more than once to employ these means when he +was bishop of Rieti and Fermo." Dealings with the Inquisition, by the +Rev. Giacinto Achilli D. D., late Prior and Visitor of the Dominican +Order, Head Professor of Theology and Vicar of the master of the Sacred +Apostolic Palace, etc., etc., page 81.] + +Our curiosity being satisfied as far as possible, we returned to the +side room, where we waited long for the lady Superior. When at length +she came, she turned to me first, as I sat next the door, and asked me +if I had anything to show in proof of my former good character. I gave +her my card; she looked at it, and led me to the other side of the room. +The same question was asked of every girl in turn, when it was found +that only four beside myself had cards of good behavior. The other six +presented cards which she said were for bad behavior. They were all +placed together on the other side of the room; and as the Superior was +about to lead them away, one of them came towards us saying that she +did not wish to stay with those girls, she would rather go with us. +The Superior drew her back, and replied, "No, child; you cannot go with +those good girls; you would soon learn them some of your naughty ways. +If you will do wrong, you must take the consequences." Then, seeing that +the child really felt very bad, she said, in a kinder tone, "When you +learn to do right, you shall be allowed to go with good girls, but not +before." I pitied the poor child, and for a long time I hoped to see her +come to our room; but she never came. They were all led off together, +and that was the last I ever saw of any of them. + +I was taken, with the other four girls, to a room on the second floor. +Here we found five cribs, one for each of us, in which we slept. Our +food was brought to us regularly, consisting of one thin slice of fine +wheat bread for each of us, and a small cup of milk. It was only in +the morning, however, that the milk was allowed us, and for dinner and +supper we had a slice of bread and a cup of water. This was not half +enough to satisfy our hunger; but we could have no more. For myself I +can say that I was hungry all the time, and I know the others were also; +but we could not say so to each other. We were in that room together +five weeks, yet not one word passed between us. We did sometimes smile, +or shake our heads, or make some little sign, though even this was +prohibited, but we never ventured to speak. We were forbidden to do +so, on pain of severe punishment; and I believe we were watched all the +time, and kept there, for a trial of our obedience. We were employed in +peeling a soft kind of wood for beds, and filling the ticks with it. We +were directed to make our own beds, keep our room in the most perfect +order, and all our work in the middle of the floor. The Superior came up +every morning to see that we were thoroughly washed, and every Saturday +she was very particular to have our clothes and bed linen all changed. +As every convenience was provided in our rooms or the closets adjoining, +we were not obliged to go out for anything, and for five weeks I did not +go out of that room. + +My bed was then brought from Quebec, and we were moved to a large square +room, with four beds in it, only two of which were occupied. We were +then sent to the kitchen, where in future, we were to be employed in +cleaning sauce, scouring knives and forks, and such work as we were able +to do. As we grew older, our tasks were increased with our strength. I +had no regular employment, but was called upon to do any of the drudgery +that was to be done about the house. The Superior came to the kitchen +every morning after prayers and told us what to do through the day. +Then, in her presence we were allowed five minutes conversation, a +priest also being present. For the rest of the day we kept a profound +silence, not a word being spoken by any of us unless in answer to a +question from some of our superiors. + +In one part of the building there was a school for young ladies, who +were instructed in the various branches of education usually taught in +Catholic schools. Many of the scholars boarded at the nunnery, and all +the cooking and washing was done in the kitchen. We also did the cooking +for the saloons in Montreal. If this did not keep us employed, there +were corn brooms and brushes to make, and thus every moment was fully +occupied. Not a moment of leisure, no rest, no recreation, but hard +labor, and the still more laborious religious exercises, filled up the +time. It was sometimes very annoying to me to devote so many hours to +mere external forms; for I felt, even when very young, that they were +of little worth. But it was a severe trial to our temper to make so many +pies, cakes, puddings, and all kinds of rich food, which we were never +allowed to taste. The priests, superiors, and the scholars had every +luxury they desired; but the nuns, who prepared all their choice +dainties, were never permitted to taste anything but bread and water. +I am well aware that this statement will seem incredible, and that +many will doubt the truth of it; but I repeat it: the nuns in the Grey +Nunnery, or at least those in the kitchen with me, were allowed no food +except bread and water, or, in case of illness, water gruel. + + + + +CHAPTER VII. + +ORPHAN'S HOME. + +The Grey Nunnery is said to be an orphan's home, and no effort is spared +to make visitors believe that this is the real character of the house. +I suppose it is true that one part of it is devoted to this purpose; at +least my Superior informed me that many children were kept there; and +to those apartments visitors are freely admitted, but never to that part +occupied by the nuns. We were never allowed to communicate with people +from the world, nor with the children. In fact, during all the time I +was there, I never saw one of them, nor did I ever enter the rooms where +they were. + +In the ladies' school there were three hundred scholars, and in our +part of the house two hundred and fifty nuns, besides the children who +belonged to the nunnery. Add to these the abbesses, superiors, priests, +and bishop, and one will readily imagine that the work for such a family +was no trifling affair. + +In this nunnery the Bishop was the highest authority, and everything was +under his direction, unless the Pope's Nuncio, or some other high +church functionary was present. I sometimes saw one whom they called +the Archbishop, who was treated with great deference by the priests, and +even by the Bishop himself. + +The Holy Mother, or Lady Superior, has power over all who have taken or +are preparing to take the veil. Under her other superiors or abbesses +are appointed over the various departments, whose duty it is to look +after the nuns and novices, and the children in training for nuns. The +most rigid espionage is kept up throughout the whole establishment; and +if any of these superiors or abbesses fail to do the duty assigned +them, they are more severely punished than the nuns. Whenever the Lady +Superior is absent the punishments are assigned by one of the priests. +Of these there were a large number in the nunnery; and whenever we +chanced to meet one of them, as we sometimes did when going about the +house, or whenever one of them entered the kitchen, we must immediately +fall upon our knees. No matter what we were doing, however busily +employed, or however inconvenient it might be, every thing must be +left or set aside, that this senseless ceremony might be performed. The +priest must be honored, and woe to the poor nun who failed to move with +sufficient alacrity; no punishment short of death itself was thought too +severe for such criminal neglect. Sometimes it would happen that I would +be engaged in some employment with my back to the door, and not observe +the entrance of a priest until the general movement around me would +arrest my attention; then I would hasten to "make my manners," as the +ceremony was called; but all too late. I had been remiss in duty, and no +excuse would avail, no apology be accepted, no forgiveness granted; the +dreaded punishment must come. + +While the nuns are thus severely treated, the priests, and the Holy +Mother live a very easy life, and have all the privileges they wish. +So far as the things of this world are concerned, they seem to enjoy +themselves very well. But I have sometimes wondered if conscience did +not give them occasionally, an unpleasant twinge; and from some things I +have seen, I believe, that with many of them, this is the fact. They may +try to put far from them all thoughts of a judgment to come, yet I +do believe that their slumbers are sometimes disturbed by fearful +forebodings of a just retribution which may, after all, be in store for +them. But whatever trouble of mind they may have, they do not allow it +to interfere with their worldly pleasures, and expensive luxuries. They +have money enough, go when, and where they please, eat the richest food +and drink the choicest wines. In short, if sensual enjoyment was +the chief end of their existence, I do not know how they could act +otherwise. The Abbesses are sometimes allowed to go out, but not unless +they have a pass from one of the priests, and if, at any time, they have +reason to suspect that some one is discontented, they will not allow any +one to go out of the building without a careful attendant. + +My Superior here, as in the White Nunnery, was very kind to me. I +sometimes feared she would share the fate of Father Darity, for she had +a kind heart, and was guilty of many benevolent acts, which, if known, +would have subjected her to very serious consequences. I became so much +attached to her, that my fears for her were always alarmed when she +called me her good little girl, or used any such endearing expression. +The sequel of my story will show that my fears were not unfounded; but +let me not anticipate. Sorrows will thicken fast enough, if we do not +hasten them. + +I lived with this Superior one year before I was consecrated, and it +was, comparatively, a happy season. I was never punished unless it was +to save me from less merciful hands; and then I would be shut up in a +closet, or some such simple thing. The other four girls who occupied the +room with me, were consecrated at the same time. + +The Bishop came to our room early one morning, and took us to the +chapel. At the door we were made to kneel, and then crawl on our hands +and knees to the altar, where sat a man, who we were told, was the +Archbishop. Two little boys came up from under the altar, with the +vesper lamp to burn incense. I suppose they were young Apostles, for +they looked very much like those we had seen at the White Nunnery, and +were dressed in the same manner. The Bishop turned his back, and they +threw incense on his head and shoulders, until he was surrounded by a +cloud of smoke. He bowed his head, smote upon his breast, and repeated +something in latin, or some other language, that we did not understand. +We were told to follow his example, and did so, as nearly as possible. +This ceremony over, the Bishop told us to go up on to the altar on our +knees, and when this feat was performed to his satisfaction, he placed a +crown of thorns upon each of our heads. These crowns were made of +bands of some firm material, which passed over the head and around the +forehead. On the inside thorns were fastened, with the points downward, +so that a very slight pressure would cause them to pierce the skin. This +I suppose is intended to imitate the crown of thorns which our Saviour +wore upon the cross. But what will it avail them to imitate the +crucifixion and the crown of thorns, while justice and mercy are so +entirely neglected? What will it avail to place a crown of thorns upon +a child's head, or to bid her kneel before the image of the Saviour, or +travel up stairs on her knees, while the way of salvation by Christ is +never explained to her; while of real religion, holiness of heart, +and purity of life she is as ignorant as the most benighted, degraded +heathen? Is it rational to suppose that the mere act of repeating +a prayer can heal the wounded spirit, or give peace to a troubled +conscience? Can the most cruel penance remove the sense of guilt, or +whisper hope to the desponding soul? Ah, no! I have tried it long enough +to speak with absolute certainty. For years I practiced these senseless +mummeries, and if there were any virtue, in them, I should, most +certainly have discovered it. But I know full well, and my reader knows +that they cannot satisfy the restless yearnings of the immortal mind. +They may delude the vulgar, but they cannot dispel the darkness of the +tomb, they cannot lead a soul to Christ. + +On leaving the chapel after the ceremony, I found a new Superior, +waiting for us at the door to conduct us to our rooms. We were all very +much surprised at this, but she informed us that our old Superior died +that morning, that she was already buried, and she had come to take her +place. I could not believe this story, for she came to us as usual that +morning, appeared in usual health, though always very pale, and made no +complaint, or exhibited any signs of illness. She told us in her kind +and pleasant way that we were to be consecrated, gave us a few words of +advice, but said nothing about leaving us, and I do not believe she even +thought of such a thing. Little did I think, when she left us, that I +was never to see her again. But so it was. In just two hours and a half +from that time, we were told that she was dead and buried, and another +filled her place! A probable story, truly! I wonder if they thought we +believed it! But whether we did or not, that was all we could ever know +about it. No allusion was ever made to the subject, and nuns are not +allowed to ask questions. However excited we might feel, no information +could we seek as to the manner of her death. Whether she died by +disease, or by the hand of violence; whether her gentle spirit +peacefully winged its way to the bosom of its God, or was hastily driven +forth upon the dagger's point, whether some kind friend closed her eyes +in death, and decently robed her cold limbs for the grave, or whether +torn upon the agonizing rack, whether she is left to moulder away in +some dungeon's gloom, or thrown into the quickly consuming fire, we +could never know. These, and many other questions that might have been +asked, will never be answered until the last great day, when the grave +shall give up its dead, and, the prison disclose its secrets. + +After the consecration we were separated, and only one of the girls +remained with me. The others I never saw again. We were put into a large +room, where were three beds, one large and two small ones. In the large +bed the Superior slept, while I occupied one of the small beds and the +other little nun the other. Our new Superior was very strict, and we +were severely punished for the least trifle--such, for instance, as +making a noise, either in our own room or in the kitchen. We might not +even smile, or make motions to each other, or look in each other's face. +We must keep our eyes on our work or on the floor, in token of humility. +To look a person full in the face was considered an unpardonable act of +boldness. On retiring for the night we were required to lie perfectly +motionless. We might not move a hand or foot, or even a finger. At +twelve the bell rang for prayers, when we must rise, kneel by our beds, +and repeat prayers until the second bell, when we again retired to rest. +On cold winter nights these midnight prayers were a most cruel penance. +It did seem as though I should freeze to death. But live or die, the +prayers must be said, and the Superior was always there to see that we +were not remiss in duty. If she slept at all I am sure it must have +been with one eye open, for she saw everything. But if I obeyed in this +thing, I found it impossible to lie as still as they required; I would +move when I was asleep without knowing it. This of course could not be +allowed, and for many weeks I was strapped down to my bed every night, +until I could sleep without the movement of a muscle. I was very anxious +to do as nearly right as possible, for I thought if they saw that I +strove with all my might to obey, they would perhaps excuse me if I did +fail to conquer impossibilities. In this, however, I was disappointed; +and I at length became weary of trying to do right, for they would +inflict severe punishments for the most trifling accident. In fact, if +I give anything like a correct account of my convent life, it will be +little else than a history of punishments. Pains, trials, prayers, and +mortifications filled up the time. Penance was the rule, to escape it +the exception. + +I neglected at the proper time to state what name was given me when I +took the veil; I may therefore as well say in this place that my convent +name was Sister Agnes. + + + + +CHAPTER VIII. + +CONFESSION AND SORROW OF NO AVAIL. + +It was a part of my business to wait upon the priests in their rooms, +carry them water, clean towels, wine-glasses, or anything they needed. +When entering a priest's room it was customary for a child to knock +twice, an adult four times, and a priest three times. This rule I +was very careful to observe. Whenever a priest opened the door I was +required to courtesy, and fall upon my knees; but if it was opened by +one of the waiters this ceremony was omitted. These waiters were the +boys I have before mentioned, called apostles. It was also a part of my +business to wait upon them, carry them clean frocks, etc. + +One day I was carrying a pitcher of water to one of the priests, and it +being very heavy, it required both my hands and nearly all my strength +to keep it upright. On reaching the door, however, I attempted to hold +it with one hand (as I dare not set it down), while I rapped with the +other. In so doing I chanced to spill a little water on the floor. Just +at that moment the door was opened by the priest himself, and when he +saw the water he was very angry. He caught me by the arm and asked what +punishment he should inflict upon me for being so careless. I attempted +to explain how it happened, told him it was an accident, that I was very +sorry, and would try to be more careful in future. But I might as well +have said that I was glad, and would do so again, for my confession, +sorrow, and promises of future obedience were entirely thrown away, +and might as well have been kept for some one who could appreciate the +feeling that prompted them. + +He immediately led me out of his room, it being on the second floor, and +down into the back yard. Here, in the centre of the gravel walk, was +a grate where they put down coal. This grate he raised and bade me +go down. I obeyed, and descending a few steps found myself in a coal +cellar, the floor being covered with it for some feet in depth. On this +we walked some two rods, perhaps, when the priest stopped, and with a +shovel that stood near cleared away the coal and lifted a trap door. +Through this we descended four or five steps, and proceeded along +a dark, narrow passage, so low we could not stand erect, and the +atmosphere so cold and damp it produced the most uncomfortable +sensations. By the light of a small lantern which the priest carried in +his hand, I was enabled to observe on each side the passage small doors, +a few feet apart, as far as I could see. Some of them were open, others +shut, and the key upon the outside. In each of these doors there was +a small opening, with iron bars across it, through which the prisoner +received food, if allowed to have any. One of these doors I was directed +to enter, which I did with some difficulty, the place being so low, and +I was trembling with cold and fear. The priest crawled in after me +and tied me to the back part of the cell, leaving me there in midnight +darkness, and locking the door after him. I could hear on all sides, as +it seemed to me, the sobs, groans, and shrieks of other prisoners, +some of whom prayed earnestly for death to release them from their +sufferings. + +For twenty-four hours I was left to bear as I best could the pains and +terrors of cold, hunger, darkness, and fatigue. I could neither sit or +lie down, and every one knows how very painful it is to stand upon the +feet a long time, even when the position can be slightly changed; how +much more so when no change can be effected, but the same set of muscles +kept continually on the stretch for the space of twenty-four hours! +Moreover, I knew not how long I should be kept there. The other +prisoners, whose agonizing cries fell upon my ears, were evidently +suffering all the horrors of starvation. Was I to meet a fate like this? +Were those terrible sufferings in reserve for me? How could I endure +them? And then came the thought so often present with me while in the +convent, "If there is a God in heaven, why does He permit such things? +What have I done that I should become the victim of such cruelty? God of +mercy!" I involuntarily exclaimed, "save me from this terrible death." + +My prayer was heard, my petition granted. At the close of twenty-four +hours, the Lady Superior came and released me from my prison, told me to +go to the priest and ask his forgiveness, and then go to my work in the +kitchen. I was very faint and weak from my long fast, and I resolved +never to offend again. I verily thought I could be careful enough to +escape another such punishment. But I had not been in the kitchen one +hour, when I chanced to let a plate fall upon the floor. It was in +no way injured, but I had broken the rules by making a noise, and the +Superior immediately reported me to the priest. He soon appeared with +his bunch of keys and a dark lantern in his hand. He took me by the ear +which he pinched till he brought tears to my eyes, saying, "You don't +try to do well, and I'll make you suffer the consequences." I did not +reply, for I had learned that to answer a priest, or seek to vindicate +myself, or even to explain how things came to be so, was in itself +a crime, to be severely punished. However unjust their treatment, +or whatever my feelings might be, I knew it was better to suffer in +silence. + +Unlocking a door that opened out of the kitchen, and still keeping hold +of my ear, he led me into a dark, gloomy hall, with black walls, and +opening a door on the right, he bade me enter. This room was lighted +by a candle, and around the sides, large iron hooks with heavy chains +attached to them, were driven into the wall. At the back part of the +room, he opened the door, and bade me enter a small closet. He then put +a large iron ring over my head, and pressed it down upon my shoulders. +Heavy weights were placed in my hands, and I was told to stand up +straight, and hold them fifteen minutes. This I could not do. Had my +life depended upon the effort, I could not have stood erect, with those +weights in my hands. The priest, however, did not reprove me. Perhaps he +saw that I exerted all my strength to obey, for he took out his watch, +and slowly counted the minutes as they passed. Ere a third part of the +time expired, he was obliged to release me, for the blood gushed from +my nose and mouth, and I began to feel faint and dizzy. The irons were +removed, and the blood ceased to flow. + +I was then taken to another room, lighted like the other, but it was +damp and cold, and pervaded by a strong, fetid, and very offensive odor. +The floor was of wood, and badly stained with blood. At least, I +thought it was blood, but there was not light enough to enable me to +say positively what it was. In the middle of the room, stood two long +tables, on each of which, lay a corpse, covered with a white cloth. The +priest led me to these tables, removed the cloth and bade me look upon +the face of the dead. They were very much emaciated, and the features, +even in death, bore the impress of terrible suffering. We stood there a +few moments, when he again led me back to his own room. He then asked +me what I thought of what I had seen. Having taken no food for more than +twenty-four hours, I replied, "I am so hungry, I can think of nothing +else." "How would you like to eat those dead bodies?" he asked. "I would +starve, Sir, before I would do it," I replied. "Would you?" said he, +with a slight sneer. "Yes indeed," I exclaimed, striving to suppress my +indignant feelings. "What! eat the flesh of a corpse? You do not mean +it. I would starve to death first!" Frightened at my own temerity in +speaking so boldly, I involuntarily raised my eye. The peculiar smile +upon his face actually chilled my blood with terror. He did not, +however, seem to notice me, but said, "Do not be too sure; I have seen +others quite as sure as you are, yet they were glad to do it to save +their lives; and remember," he added significantly, "you will do it too +if you are not careful." He then ordered me to return to the kitchen. + +At ten o'clock in the morning, the nuns had a slice of bread and cup +of water; but, as I had been fasting, they gave me a bowl of gruel, +composed of indian meal and water, with a little salt. A poor dinner +this, for a hungry person, but I could have no more. At eleven, we went +to mass in the chapel as usual. It was our custom to have mass +every day, and I have been told that this is true of all Romish +establishments. Returning to my work in the kitchen, I again resolved +that I would be so careful, that, in future they should have no cause +for complaint For two days I succeeded. Yes, for two whole days, I +escaped punishment. This I notice as somewhat remarkable, because I was +generally punished every day, and sometimes two or three times in a day. + +On the third morning, I was dusting the furniture in the room occupied +by the priest above mentioned, who treated me so cruelly. The floor +being uncarpeted, in moving the chairs I chanced to make a slight noise, +although I did my best to avoid it. He immediately sprang to his feet, +exclaiming, "You careless dog! What did you do that for?" Then taking me +by the arms, he gave me a hard shake, saying, "Have I not told you that +you would be punished, if you made a noise? But I see how it is with +you; your mind is on the world, and you think more of that, than you do +of the convent. But I shall punish you until you do your duty better." +He concluded this choice speech by telling me to "march down stairs." Of +course, I obeyed, and he followed me, striking me on the head at every +step, with a book he held in his hand. I thought to escape some of the +blows, and hastened along, but all in vain; he kept near me and drove +me before him into the priests sitting-room. He then sent for three more +priests, to decide upon my punishment. A long consultation they held +upon "this serious business," as I sneeringly thought it, but the result +was serious in good earnest, I assure you. For the heinous offence of +making a slight noise I was to have dry peas bound upon my knees, and +then be made to crawl to St. Patrick's church, through an underground +passage, and back again. This church was situated on a hill, a little +more than a quarter of a mile from the convent. Between the two +buildings, an under-ground passage had been constructed, just large +enough to allow a person to crawl through it on the hands and knees. It +was so low, and narrow, that it was impossible either to rise, or turn +around; once within that passage there was no escape, but to go on to +the end. They allowed me five hours to go and return; and to prove that +I had really been there, I was to make a cross, and two straight lines, +with a bit of chalk, upon a black-board that I should find at the end. + +O, the intolerable agonies I endured on that terrible pathway! Any +description that I can give, will fail to convey the least idea of the +misery of those long five hours. It may, perchance, seem a very simple +mode of punishment, but let any one just try it, and they will be +convinced that it was no trifling thing. At the end, I found myself in +a cellar under the church, where there was light enough to enable me to +find the board and the chalk. I made the mark according to orders, and +then looked around for some means of escape. Alas! There was none to be +found. Strong iron bars firmly secured the only door, and a very slight +examination convinced me that my case was utterly hopeless. I then tried +to remove the peas from my swollen, bleeding limbs, but this, too, I +found impossible. They were evidently fastened by a practised hand; and +I was, at length, compelled to believe that I must return as I came. I +did return; but O, how, many times I gave up in despair, and thought +I could go no further! How many times did I stretch myself on the cold +stones, in such bitter agony, that I could have welcomed death as a +friend and deliverer! What would I not have given for one glass of cold +water, or even for a breath of fresh air! My limbs seemed on fire, +and while great drops of perspiration fell from my face, my throat and +tongue were literally parched with thirst. But the end came at last, and +I found the priest waiting for me at the entrance. He seemed very angry, +and said, "You have been gone over your time. There was no need of it; +you could have returned sooner if you had chosen to do so, and now, +I shall punish you again, for being gone so long." At first, his +reproaches grieved me, for I had done my best to please him, and I did +so long for one word of sympathy, it seemed for a moment, as though my +heart would break. Had he then spoken one kind word to me, or manifested +the least compassion for my sufferings, I could have forgiven the past, +and obeyed him with feelings of love and gratitude for the future. Yes, +I would have done anything for that man, if I could have felt that he +had the least pity for me; but when he said he should punish me again, +my heart turned to stone. Every tender emotion vanished, and a fierce +hatred, a burning indignation, and thirst for revenge, took possession +of my soul. + + + + +CHAPTER IX. + +ALONE WITH THE DEAD. + +The priest removed the peas from my limbs, and led me to a tomb under +the chapel, where he left me, with the consoling assurance that "THE +DEAD WOULD RISE AND EAT ME!" This tomb was a large rectangular room, +with shelves on three sides of it, on which were the coffins of priests +and Superiors who had died in the nunnery. On the floor under the +shelves, were large piles of human bones, dry and white, and some of +them crumbling into dust. In the center of the room was a large tank of +water, several feet in diameter, called St. Joseph's well. It occupied +the whole center of the room leaving a very narrow pathway between that, +and the shelves; so narrow, indeed, that I found it impossible to sit +down, and exceedingly difficult to walk or even stand still. I was +obliged to hold firmly by the shelves, to avoid slipping into the water +which looked dark and deep. The priest said, when he left me, that if I +fell in, I would drown, for no one could take me out. + +O, how my heart thrilled with superstitious terror when I heard the key +turn in the lock, and realized that I was alone with the dead! And that +was not the worst of it. They would rise and eat me! For a few hours +I stood as though paralyzed with fear. A cold perspiration covered my +trembling limbs, as I watched those coffins with the most painful and +serious apprehension. Every moment I expected the fearful catastrophe, +and even wondered which part they would devour first--whether one would +come alone and thus kill me by inches, or whether they would all rise +at once, and quickly make an end of me. I even imagined I could see the +coffins move--that I heard the dead groan and sigh and even the sound of +my own chattering teeth, I fancied to be a movement among the dry bones +that lay at my feet. In the extremity of terror I shrieked aloud. But +this I knew was utterly useless. Who would hear me? Or who would care if +they did hear? I was surrounded by walls that no sound could penetrate, +and if it could, it would fall upon ears deaf to the agonizing cry for +mercy,--upon hearts that feel no sympathy for human woe. + +Some persons may be disposed to smile at this record of absurd and +superstitions fear. But to me it was no laughing affair. Had not the +priest said that the dead would rise and eat me? And did I not firmly +believe that what he said was true? What! A priest tell a falsehood? +Impossible. I thought it could not be; yet as hour after hour passed +away, and no harm came to me, I began to exercise my reason a little, +and very soon came to the conclusion that the priests are not the +immaculate, infallible beings I had been taught to believe. Cruel +and hard hearted, I knew them to be, but I did not suspect them of +falsehood. Hitherto I had supposed it was impossible for them to do +wrong, or to err in judgement; all their cruel acts being done for the +benefit of the soul, which in some inexplicable way was to be benefited +by the sufferings of the body. Now, however, I began to question the +truth of many things I had seen and heard, and ere long I lost all faith +in them, or in the terrible system of bigotry, cruelty and fraud, which +they call religion. + +As the hours passed by and my fears vanished before the calm light of +reason, I gradually gained sufficient courage to enable me to examine +the tomb, thinking that I might perchance discover the body of my old +Superior. For this purpose I accordingly commenced the circuit of the +room, holding on by the shelves, and making my way slowly onward. One +coffin I succeeded in opening, but the sight of the corpse so frightened +me, I did not dare to open another. The room being brilliantly lighted +with two large spermaceti candles at one end, and a gas burner at the +other, I was enabled to see every feature distinctly. + +One of the nuns informed me that none but priests and Superiors are laid +in that tomb. When these die in full communion with the church, the body +is embalmed, and placed here, but it sometimes happens that a priest or +Superior is found in the convent who does not believe all that is taught +by the church of Rome. They desire to investigate the subject--to seek +for more light--more knowledge of the way of salvation by Christ. This, +with the Romanists is a great sin, and the poor hapless victim is at +once placed under punishment. If they die in this condition, their +bodies are cast out as heretics, but if they confess and receive +absolution, they are placed in the tomb, but not embalmed. The flesh, of +course, decays, and then the bones are thrown under the shelves. Never +shall I forget how frightful those bones appeared to me, or the cold +shudder that thrilled my frame at the sight of the numerous human skulls +that lay scattered around. + +Twenty-four hours I spent in this abode of the dead, without rest or +sleep. The attempt to obtain either would have been sheer madness, for +the least mis-step, the least unguarded motion, or a slight relaxation +of the firm grasp by which I held on to the shelves, would have plunged +me headlong into the dark water, from which escape would have been +impossible. For thirty hours I had not tasted food, and my limbs, +mangled and badly swollen, were so stiff with long standing, that, when +allowed to leave the tomb, I could hardly step. When the priest came to +let me out, he seemed to think it necessary to say something to cover +his attempt to deceive and frighten me, but he only made a bad matter +worse. He said that after he left me, he thought he would try me once +more, and see if I would not do my duty better; he had, therefore, +WILLED THE DEAD NOT TO EAT ME! AND THEY, OBEDIENT TO HIS WILL, WERE +COMPELLED TO LET ME ALONE! I did not reply to this absurd declaration, +lest I should say something I ought not, and again incur his +displeasure. Indeed, I was not expected to say anything, unless I +returned thanks for his unparalleled kindness, and I was not hypocrite +enough for that. I suppose he thought I believed all he said, but he was +greatly mistaken. If I began to doubt his word while in the tomb, this +ridiculous pretence only served to add contempt to unbelief, and from +that time I regarded him as a deceiver, and a vile, unscrupulous, +hypocritical pretender. + +It was with the greatest difficulty that I again made my way to the +kitchen. I was never very strong, even when allowed my regular meals, +for the quantity, was altogether insufficient, to satisfy the demands +of nature; and now I had been so long without anything to eat, I was +so weak, and my limbs so stiff and swollen, I could hardly stand. I +managed, however, to reach the kitchen, when I was immediately seated at +the table and presented with a bowl of gruel. O, what a luxury it seemed +to me, and how eagerly did I partake of it! It was soon gone, and I +looked around for a further supply. Another nun, who sat at the table +with me, with a bowl of gruel before her, noticed my disappointment when +I saw that I was to have no more. She was a stranger to me, and so pale +and emaciated she looked more like a corpse than a living person. She +had tasted a little of her gruel, but her stomach was too weak to retain +it, and as soon as the Superior left us she took it up and poured the +whole into my bowl, making at the same time a gesture that gave me to +understand that it was of no use to her, and she wished me to eat it I +did not wait for a second invitation, and she seemed pleased to see me +accept it so readily. We dared not speak, but we had no difficulty in +understanding each other. + +I had but just finished my gruel when the Superior came back and desired +me to go up stairs and help tie a mad nun. I think she did this simply +for the purpose of giving me a quiet lesson in convent life, and showing +me the consequences of resistance or disobedience. She must have known +that I was altogether incapable of giving the assistance she pretended +to ask. But I followed her as fast as possible, and when she saw how +difficult it was for me to get up stairs, she walked slowly and gave me +all the time I wished for. She led me into a small room and closed the +door. There I beheld a scene that called forth my warmest sympathy, +and at the same time excited feelings of indignation that will never be +subdued while reason retains her throne. In the center of the room sat +a young girl, who could not have been more than sixteen years old; and a +face and form of such perfect symmetry, such surpassing beauty, I never +saw. She was divested of all her clothing except one under-garment, and +her hands and feet securely tied to the chair on which she sat. A priest +stood beside her, and as we entered he bade us assist him in removing +the beds from the bedstead. They then took the nun from her chair and +laid her on the bedcord. They desired me to assist them, but my heart +failed me. I could not do it, for I was sure they were about to kill +her; and as I gazed upon those calm, expressive features, so pale and +sad, yet so perfectly beautiful, I felt that it would be sacrilege for +me to raise my hand against nature's holiest and most exquisite work. I +therefore assured them that I was too weak to render the assistance they +required. At first they attempted to compel me to do it; but, finding +that I was really very weak, and unwilling to use what strength I had, +they at length permitted me to stand aside. When they extended the poor +girl on the cord, she said, very quietly, "I am not mad, and you know +that I am not." To this no answer was given, but they calmly proceeded +with their fiendish work. One of them tied her feet, while the other +fastened a rope across her neck in such a way that if she attempted to +raise her head it would strangle her. The rope was then fastened under +the bedcord, and two or three times over her person. Her arms were +extended, and fastened in the same way. As she lay thus, like a lamb +bound for the sacrifice, she looked up at her tormentors and said, "Will +the Lord permit me to die in this cruel way?" The priest immediately +exclaimed, in an angry tone, "Stop your talk, you mad woman!" and +turning to me, he bade me go back to the kitchen. It is probable he saw +the impression on my mind was not just what they desired, therefore he +hurried me away. + +All this time the poor doomed nun submitted quietly to her fate. I +suppose she thought it useless, yea, worse than useless, to resist; for +any effort she might make to escape would only provoke them, and they +would torment her the more. I presume she thought her last hour had +come, and the sooner she was out of her misery the better. As for me, +my heart was so filled with terror, anguish, and pity for her, I could +hardly obey the command to leave the room. + +I attempted to descend the stairs, but was obliged to go very slowly on +account of the stiffness of my limbs, and before I reached the bottom of +the first flight the priest and the Superior came out into the hall. I +heard them whispering together, and I paused to listen. This, I know, +was wrong; but I could not help it, and I was so excited I did not +realize what I was doing. My anxiety for that girl overpowered every +other feeling. At first I could only hear the sound of their voices; but +soon they spoke more distinctly, and I heard the words. "What shall we +do with her? she will never confess." In an audible tone of voice, the +other replied, "We had better finish her." How those words thrilled my +soul! I knew well enough that they designed "to finish her," but to hear +the purpose announced so coolly, it was horrible. Was there no way that +I could save her? Must I stand there, and know that a fellow-creature +was being murdered, that a young girl like myself, in all the freshness +of youth and the fullness of health, was to be cut off in the very +prime of life and numbered with the dead; hurried out of existence and +plunged, unwept, unlamented, into darkness and silence? She had friends, +undoubtedly, but they would never be allowed to know her sad fate, never +shed a tear upon her grave! I could not endure the thought. I felt that +if I lingered there another moment I should be in danger of madness +myself; for I could not help her. I could not prevent the consummation +of their cruel purpose; I therefore hastened away, and this was the last +I ever heard of that poor nun. I had never seen her before, and as I did +not see her clothes, I could not even tell whether she belonged to our +nunnery or not. + + + + +CHAPTER X. + +THE SICK NUN. + +On my return to the kitchen I found the sick nun sitting as we left her. +She asked me, by signs, if we were alone. I told her she need not fear +to speak, for the Superior was two flights of stairs above, and no one +else was near. "Are they all away?" she whispered. I assured her that +we were quite alone, that she had nothing to fear. She then informed me +that she had been nine days under punishment, that when taken from the +cell she could not stand or speak, and she was still too weak to walk +without assistance. "O!" said she, and the big tears rolled over her +cheeks as she said it, "I have not a friend in the world. You do not +know how my heart longs for love, for sympathy and kindness." I asked if +she had not parents, or friends, in the world. She replied, "I was born +in this convent, and know no world but this. You see," she continued, +with a sad smile, "what kind of friends I have here. O, if I HAD A +FRIEND, if I could feel that one human being cares for me, I should get +better. But it is so long since I heard a kind word--" a sob choked her +utterance. I told her I would be a friend to her as far as I could. She +thanked me; said she was well aware of the difficulties that lay in my +way, for every expression of sympathy or kind feeling between the nuns +was strictly forbidden, and if caught in anything of the kind a severe +correction would follow. "But," said she "if you will give me a kind +look sometimes, whenever you can do so with safety, it will be worth a +great deal to me. You do not know the value of a kind look to a breaking +heart." + +She wept so bitterly, I feared it would injure her health, and to divert +her mind, I told her where I was born; spoke of my childhood, and of +my life at the White Nunnery. She wiped away her tears, and replied, "I +know all about it. I have heard the priests talk about you, and they say +that your father is yet living, that your mother was a firm protestant, +and that it will be hard for them to beat Catholicism into you. But I +do not know how you came in that nunnery. Who put you there?" I told her +that I was placed there by my father, when only six years old. "Is +it possible?" she exclaimed, and then added passionately, "Curse your +father for it." After a moments silence, she continued, "Yes, child; +you have indeed cause to curse your father, and the day when you first +entered the convent; but you do not suffer as much as you would if you +had been born here, and were entirely dependent on them. They fear +that your friends may sometime look after you; and, in case they are +compelled to grant them an interview, they would wish them to find you +in good health and contented; but if you had no influential friends +outside the convent, you would find yourself much worse off than you are +now." + +She then said she wished she could get some of the brandy from the +cellar. Her stomach was so weak from long fasting, it would retain +neither food or drink, and she thought the brandy would give it +strength. She asked if I could get it for her. The idea frightened me at +first, for I knew that if caught in doing it, I should be most cruelly +punished, yet my sympathy for her at length overcame my fears, and I +resolved to try, whatever might be the result. I accordingly went up +stairs, ostensibly, to see if the Superior wanted me, but really, to +find out where she was, and whether she would be likely to come down, +before I could have time to carry out my plan. I trembled a little, +for I knew that I was guilty of a great misdemeanor in thus boldly +presenting myself to ask if I was wanted; but I thought it no very great +sin to pretend that I thought she called me, for I was sure my motives +were good, whatever they might think of them. I had been taught that +"the end sanctifies the means," and I thought I should not be too hardly +judged by the great searcher of hearts, if, for once, I applied it in my +own way. + +I knocked gently at the door I had left but a few moments before. It was +opened by the Superior, but she immediately stepped out, and closed it +again, so that I had no opportunity to see what was passing within. +She sternly bade me return to the kitchen, and stay there till she came +down; a command I was quite ready to obey. In the kitchen there was a +small cupboard, called the key cupboard, in which they kept keys of all +sizes belonging to the establishment. They were hung on hooks, each one +being marked with the name of the place to which it belonged. It was +easy for me to find the key to the cellar, and having obtained it, I +opened another cupboard filled with bottles and vials, where I selected +one that held half a pint, placed it in a large pitcher, and hastened +down stairs. I soon found a cask marked "brandy," turned the faucet, and +filled the bottle. But my heart beat violently, and my hand trembled +so that I could not hold it steady, and some of it ran over into the +pitcher. It was well for me that I took this precaution, for if I had +spilt it on the stone floor of the cellar, I should have been detected +at once. I ran up stairs as quickly as possible, and made her drink what +I had in the pitcher, though there was more of it than I should have +given her under other circumstances; but I did not know what to do +with it. If I put it in the fire, or in the sink, I thought they would +certainly smell it, and, there was no other place, for I was not allowed +to go out of doors. I then replaced the key, washed up my pitcher, and +secreted the bottle of brandy in the waist of the nun's dress. This +I could easily do, their dresses being made with a loose waist, and a +large cape worn over them. I then began to devise some way to destroy +the scent in the room. I could smell it very distinctly, and I knew that +the Superior would notice it at once. After trying various expedients to +no purpose, I at length remembered that I had once seen a dry rag set on +fire for a similar purpose. I therefore took one of the cloths from the +sink, and set it on fire, let it burn a moment, and threw it under the +caldron. + +I was just beginning to congratulate myself on my success, when I saw +that the nun appeared insensible, and about to fall from her chair. I +caught her in my arms, and leaned her back in the chair, but I did not +dare to lay her on the bed, without permission, even if I had strength +to do it. I could only draw her chair to the side of the room, put a +stick of wood under it, and let her head rest against the wall. I was +very much frightened, and for a moment, thought she was dead. She was +pale as a corpse, her eyes closed, and her mouth wide open. Had I really +killed her? What if the Superior should find her thus? I soon found that +she was not dead, for her heart beat regularly, and I began to hope she +would get over it before any one came in. But just as the thought passed +my mind, the door opened and the Superior appeared. Her first words +were, "What have you been burning? What smells so?" I told her there was +a cloth about the sink that I thought unfit for use, and I put it +under the caldron. She then turned towards the nun and asked if she had +fainted. I told her that I did not know, but I thought she was asleep, +and if she wished me to awaken, and assist her to bed, I would do so. To +this she consented, and immediately went up stairs again. Glad as I was +of this permission, I still doubted my ability to do it alone, for I had +little, very little strength; yet I resolved to do my best. It was long, +however, before I could arouse her, or make her comprehend what I said, +so entirely were her senses stupified with the brandy. When at length I +succeeded in getting her upon her feet, she said she was sure she could +not walk; but I encouraged her to help herself as much as possible, told +her that I wished to get her away before any one came in, or we would +be certainly found out and punished. This suggestion awakened her fears, +and I at length succeeded in assisting her to bed. She was soon in a +sound sleep, and I thought my troubles for that time were over. But +I was mistaken. In my fright, I had quite forgotten the brandy in her +dress. Somehow the bottle was cracked, and while she slept, the brandy +ran over her clothes. The Superior saw it, and asked how she obtained +it. Too noble minded to expose me, she said she drew it herself. I +heard the Superior talking to a priest about it, and I thought they were +preparing to punish her. I did not know what she had told them, but I +did not think she would expose me, and I feared, if they punished her +again, she would die in their hands. + +I therefore went to the Superior and told her the truth about it, for +I thought a candid confession on my part might, perchance, procure +forgiveness for the nun, if not for myself. But no; they punished us +both; the nun for telling the lie, and me for getting the brandy. For +two hours they made me stand with a crown of thorns on my head, while +they alternately employed themselves in burning me with hot irons, +pinching, and piercing me with needles, pulling my hair, and striking +me with sticks. All this I bore very well, for I was hurt just enough to +make me angry. + +When I returned to the kitchen again, the nun was sitting there alone. +She shook her head at me, and by her gestures gave me to understand that +some one was listening. She afterwards informed me that the Superior was +watching us, to see if we would speak to each other when we met. I do +not know how they punished her, but I heard a priest say that she would +die if she suffered much more. Perhaps they thought the loss of that +precious bottle of brandy was punishment enough. But I was glad I got +it for her, for she had one good dose of it, and it did her good; +her stomach was stronger, her appetite better, and in a few weeks she +regained her usual health. + +One day, while at work as usual, I was called up stairs with the other +nuns to see one die. She lay upon the bed, and looked pale and thin, but +I could see no signs of immediate dissolution. Her voice was strong, and +respiration perfectly natural, the nuns were all assembled in her room +to see her die. Beside her stood a priest, earnestly exhorting her to +confess her sins to him, and threatening her with eternal punishment if +she refused. But she replied, "No, I will not confess to you. If, as +you say, I am really dying, it is with my God I have to do; to him alone +will I confess, for he alone can save." "If you do not confess to me," +exclaimed the priest, "I will give you up to the devil." "Well," said +she, "I stand in no fear of a worse devil than you are, and I am quite +willing to leave you at any time, and try any other place; even hell +itself cannot be worse. I cannot suffer more there than I have here." +"Daughter," exclaimed the priest, with affected sympathy, "must I give +you up? How can I see you go down to perdition? It is not yet too late. +Confess your sins and repent." "I have already confessed my sins to God, +and I shall confess to no one else. He alone can save me." Her manner of +saying this was solemn but very decided. The priest saw that she would +not yield to his wishes, and raising his voice, he exclaimed, "Then let +the devil take you." + +Immediately the door opened, and a figure representing the Roman +Catholic idea of his Satanic Majesty entered the room. He was very +black, and covered with long hair, probably the skin of some wild +animal. He had two long white tusks, two horns on his head, a large +cloven foot, and a long tail that he drew after him on the floor. He +looked so frightful, and recalled to my mind so vividly the figure that +I saw at the White Nunnery, that I was very much frightened; still I did +not believe it was really a supernatural being. I suspected that it was +one of the priests dressed up in that way to frighten us, and I now +know that such was the fact. But what of that? We all feared the priests +quite as much as we should the Evil One himself, even if he should come +to us in bodily shape, as they pretended he had done. Most of the nuns +were very much frightened when they saw that figure walk up to the +bedside, taking good care, however, to avoid the priest, he being so +very holy it was impossible for an evil spirit to go near or even look +at him. + +The priest then ordered us to return to the kitchen, for said he, "The +devil has come for this nun's soul, and will take it with him," As we +left the room I looked around on my companions and wondered if they +believed this absurd story. I longed to ask them what they thought of +it, but this was not allowed. All interchange of thought or feeling +being strictly forbidden, we never ventured to speak without permission +when so many of us were present, for some one was sure to tell of it if +the least rule was broken. + +I was somewhat surprised at first that we were all sent to the kitchen, +as but few of us were employed there; but we were soon called back again +to look at the corpse. I was inexpressibly shocked at this summons, for +I had not supposed it possible for her to die so soon. But she was dead; +and that was all we could ever know about it. As we stood around the +bed, the priest said she was an example of those in the world called +heretics; that her soul was in misery, and would remain so forever; no +masses or prayers could avail her then, for she could never be prayed +out of hell. Sins like hers could never be forgiven. + +I continued to work in the kitchen as usual for many months after this +occurrence, and for a few weeks the sick nun was there a great part of +the time. Whenever we were alone, and sure that no one was near, we used +to converse together, and a great comfort it was to us both. I felt that +I had found in her one real friend, to sympathize with me in my grievous +trials, and with whom I could sometimes hold communication without fear +of betrayal. I had proved her, and found her faithful, therefore I +did not fear to trust her. No one can imagine, unless they know by +experience, how much pleasure we enjoyed in the few stolen moments that +we spent together. + +I shall never forget the last conversation I had with her. She came and +sat down where I was assisting another nun to finish a mat. She asked +us if we knew what was going on in the house. "As I came from my room," +said she, "I saw the priests and Superiors running along the halls, and +they appeared so much excited, I thought something must be wrong. As +they passed me, they told me to go to the kitchen, and stay there. What +does it all mean?" Of course we did not know, for we had neither seen or +heard anything unusual. "Well," said she, "they are all so much engaged +up stairs, we can talk a little and not be overheard. I want to know +something about the people in the world. Are they really cruel and +cold-hearted, as the priests say they are? When you was in the world +were they unkind to you?" "On the contrary," I replied, "I would gladly +return to them again if I could get away from the convent. I should +not be treated any worse, at all events, and I shall embrace the-first +opportunity to go back to the world." "That is what I have always +thought since I was old enough to think at all," said she, "and I have +resolved a great many times to get away if possible. I suppose they tell +us about the cruelty in the world just to frighten us, and prevent us +from trying to escape. I am so weak now I do not suppose I could walk +out of Montreal even if I should leave the convent. But if I ever get +strong enough, I shall certainly try to escape from this horrible place. +O, I could tell you things about this convent that would curdle the +blood in your veins." + +The other nun said that she had been once in the world, and every one +was kind to her. "I shall try to get out again, some day," said she, +"but we must keep our resolutions to ourselves, for there is no one +here, that we can trust. Those whom we think our best friends will +betray us, if we give them a chance. I do believe that some of them +delight in getting us punished." + +The sick nun said, "I have never exposed any one and I never will. I +have the secrets of a great many hid in my breast, that nothing shall +ever extort from me." Here she was interrupted, and soon left the room. +I never saw her again. Whether she was under punishment, or was so +fortunate as to make her escape, I do not know. As no questions could +be asked, it was very little we could know of each other. If one of our +number escaped, the fact was carefully concealed from the rest, and if +she was caught and brought back, no one ever knew it, except those who +had charge of her. The other nun who worked in the room with me, watched +me very closely. Having heard me declare my intention to leave the first +opportunity, she determined to go with me if possible. + + + + +CHAPTER XI. + +THE JOY OF FREEDOM. + +At length the long sought opportunity arrived, and with the most extatic +joy we fled from the nunnery. The girl I have before mentioned, who +wished to go with me, and another nun, with whom I had no acquaintance, +were left in the kitchen to assist me, in taking charge of the cooking, +while the rest of the people were at mass in the chapel. A chance +presented for us to get away, and we all fled together, leaving the +cooking to take care of itself. We were assisted to get out of the yard, +but how, or by whom, I can never reveal. Death, in its most terrible +form would be the punishment for such an act of kindness, and knowing +this, it would be the basest ingratitude for me to name the individual +who so kindly assisted us in our perilous undertaking. + +How well do I remember the emotions that thrilled my soul when I found +myself safely outside the walls of that fearful prison! The joy of +freedom--the hope of ultimate success--the fear of being overtaken, +and dragged back to misery or death, were considerations sufficiently +exciting to agitate our spirits, and lend fleetness to our steps. With +trembling limbs, and throbbing hearts we fled towards the St. Lawrence +river. Following the tow-path, we hastened on for a few miles, when one +of the nuns became exhausted, and said she could go no further. She +was very weak when we started, and the excitement and fatigue produced +serious illness. What should we do with her? We could not take her along +with us, and if we stopped with her, we might all be taken and carried +back. Must we leave her by the way-side? It was a fearful alternative, +but what else could we do? With sad hearts we took her to a shed near +by, and there we left her to her fate, whatever it might be; perchance +to die there alone, or what was still worse, be carried back to the +convent. It was indeed, a sorrowful parting, and we wept bitter tears +together, as we bade her a last farewell. I never saw or heard from her +again. + +We pursued our way along the tow-path for a short distance, when the +canal boat came along. We asked permission to go upon the boat, and the +captain kindly granted it, but desired us to be very still. He carried +us twelve miles, and then proposed to leave us, as he exposed himself to +a heavy fine by carrying us without a pass, and unattended by a priest +or Superior. We begged him to take us as far as he went with the boat, +and frankly told him our situation. Having no money to offer, we could +only cast ourselves on his mercy, and implore his pity and assistance. +He consented to take us as far as the village of Beauharnois, and there +he left us. He did not dare take us further, lest some one might be +watching for us, and find us on his boat. + +It was five o'clock in the morning when we left the boat, but it was +a Roman Catholic village, and we did not dare to stop. All that day we +pursued our way without food or drink, and at night we were tired and +hungry. Arriving at a small village, we ventured to stop at the most +respectable looking house, and asked the woman if she could keep us over +night. She looked at us very attentively and said she could not. We did +not dare to call again, for we knew that we were surrounded by those who +would think they were doing a good work to deliver us up to the priests. +Darkness came over the earth, but still weary and sleepy as we were, we +pursued our lonely way. I will not repeat our bitter reflections upon a +cold hearted world, but the reader will readily imagine what they were. + +Late in the evening, we came to an old barn. I think it must have +been four or five miles from the village. There was no house, or other +building near it, and as no person was in sight, we ventured to enter. +Here, to our great joy, we found a quantity of clean straw, with which +we soon prepared a comfortable bed, where we could enjoy the luxury of +repose. We slept quietly through the night, and at the early dawn awoke, +refreshed and encouraged, but O, so hungry! Gladly would we have eaten +anything in the shape of food, but nothing could we find. + +The morning star was yet shining brightly above us, as we again started +on our journey. At length our hearts were cheered by the sight of a +village. The first house we came to stood at some distance from the +other buildings, and we saw two women in a yard milking cows. We called +at the door, and asked the lady for some milk. "O yes," said she, with +a sweet smile, "come in, and rest awhile, and you shall have all you +want." She thought we were Sisters of Charity, for they often go about +visiting the sick, and praying with the people. It is considered a very +meritorious act to render them assistance, and speed them on their way; +but to help a runaway nun is to commit a crime of sufficient magnitude +to draw down the anathema of the church. Therefore, while we carefully +concealed our real character, we gratefully accepted the aid we so much +needed, but which, we were sure, would have been withheld had she known +to whom it was offered. After waiting till the cows were milked, and +she had finished her own breakfast, she filled a large earthen pan +with bread and milk, gave each of us a spoon, and we ate as much as +we wished. As we arose to depart, she gave each of us a large piece of +bread to carry with us, and asked us to pray with her. We accordingly +knelt in prayer; implored heaven's blessing on her household, and then +took our leave of this kind lady, never more to meet her on earth; but +she will never be forgotten. + +That day we traveled a long distance, at least, so it seemed to us. When +nearly overcome with fatigue, we saw from the tow-path an island in the +river, and upon it a small house. Near the shore a man stood beside a +canoe. We made signs to him to come to us, and he immediately sprang +into his canoe and came over. We asked him to take us to the island, and +he cheerfully granted our request, but said we must sit very still, or +we would find ourselves in the water. I did not wonder he thought so, +for the canoe was very small, and the weight of three persons sank it +almost even with the surface of the river, while the least motion would +cause it to roll from side to side, so that we really felt that we were +in danger of a very uncomfortable bath if nothing worse. + +We landed safely, however, and were kindly welcomed by the Indian +family in the house. Six squaws were sitting on the floor, some of them +smoking, others making shoes and baskets. They were very gayly dressed, +their skirts handsomely embroidered with beads and silk of various +colors. One of the girls seemed very intelligent, and conversed fluently +in the English language which she spoke correctly. But she did not +look at all like an Indian, having red hair and a lighter skin than the +others. She was the only one in the family that I could converse with, +as the rest of them spoke only their native dialect; but the nun who was +with me could speak both French and Indian. + +They treated us with great kindness, gave us food, and invited in to +stay and live with them; said we could be very happy there, and to +induce us to remain, they informed us that the village we saw on the +other side of the river, called St. Regis, was inhabited by Indians, but +they were all Roman Catholics. They had a priest, and a church where +we could go to Mass every Sabbath. Little did they imagine that we were +fleeing for life from the Romish priests; that so far from being an +inducement to remain with them, this information was the very thing to +send us on our way with all possible speed. We did not dare to stay, +for I knew full well that if any one who had seen us went to confession, +they would be obliged to give information of our movements; and if one +priest heard of us, he would immediately telegraph to all the priests +in the United States and Canada, and we should be watched on every side. +Escape would then be nearly impossible, therefore we gently, but firmly +refused to accept the hospitality of these good people, and hastened to +bid them farewell. + +I asked the girl how far it was to the United States. She said it was +two miles to Hogansburg, and that was in the States. We then asked the +man to take us in his canoe to the village of St. Regis on the other +side of the river. He consented, but, I thought, with some reluctance, +and before he allowed us to land, he conversed some minutes with the +Indians who met him on the shore. We could not hear what they said, but +my fears were at once awakened. I thought they suspected us, and if so, +we were lost. But the man came back at length, and, assisted us from the +boat. If he had any suspicions he kept them to himself. + +Soon after we reached the shore I met a man, of whom I enquired when +a boat would start for Hogansburg. He gazed at us a moment, and then +pointed to five boats out in the river, and said those were the last +to go that day. They were then ready to start, and waited only for the +tow-boat to take them along. But they were so far away we could not get +to them, even if we dared risk ourselves among so many passengers. What +could we do? To stay there over night, was not to be thought of for a +moment. We were sure to be taken, and carried back, if we ventured to +try it. Yet there was but one alternative; either remain there till the +next day, or try to get a passage on the tow-boat. It did not take me a +long time to decide for myself, and I told the nun that I should go on, +if the captain would take me! "What! go on the tow-boat!" she exclaimed, +"There are no ladies on that boat, and I do not like to go with so +many men." "I am not afraid of the men," I replied, "if they are not +Romanists, and I am resolved to go." "Do not leave me," she cried, with +streaming tears. "I am sure we can get along better if we keep together, +but I dare not go on the boat." "And I dare not stay here," said I, +and so we parted. I to pursue my solitary way, she to go, I know not +whither. I gave her the parting hand, and have never heard from her +since, but I hope she succeeded better than I did, in her efforts to +escape. + +I went directly to the captain of the boat and asked him if he could +carry me to the States. He said he should go as far as Ogdensburg, and +would carry me there, if I wished; or he could set me off at some place +where he stopped for wood and water. When I told him I had no money to +pay him, he smiled, and asked if I was a run-a-way. I frankly confessed +that I was, for I thought it was better for me to tell the truth than +to try to deceive. "Well," said the captain, "I will not betray you; but +you had better go to my state-room and stay there." I thanked him, but +said I would rather stay where I was. He then gave me the key to his +room, and advised me to go in and lock the door, "for," said he, "we are +not accustomed to have ladies in this boat, and the men may annoy you. +You will find it more pleasant and comfortable to stay there alone." +Truly grateful for his kindness, and happy to escape from the gaze of +the men, I followed his direction; nor did I leave the room again until +I left the boat. The captain brought me my meals, but did not attempt to +enter the room. There was a small window with a spring on the inside; he +would come and tap on the window, and ask me to raise it, when he would +hand me a waiter on which he had placed a variety of refreshments, and +immediately retire. + + + + +CHAPTER XII. + +STRANGER IN A STRANGE LAND. + +That night and the next day I suffered all the horrors of sea-sickness; +and those who have known by experience how completely it prostrates the +energies of mind and body, can imagine how I felt on leaving the boat at +night. The kind-hearted captain set me on shore at a place where he left +coal and lumber, a short distance from the village of Ogdensburg. He +gave me twelve and half cents, and expressed regret that he could do no +more for me. He said he could not direct me to a lodging for the night, +being a stranger in the place, and this the first time he had been on +that route. Should this narrative chance to meet his eye, let him know +that his kind and delicate attentions to a stranger in distress, are and +ever will be remembered with the gratitude they so richly merit. It +was with evident reluctance that he left me to make my way onward as I +could. + +And now, reader, imagine, if you can, my situation. A stranger in a +strange land, and comparatively a stranger to the whole world--alone in +the darkness of night, not knowing where to seek a shelter or a place +to lay my head; exhausted with sea-sickness until I felt more dead than +alive, it did seem as though it would be a luxury to lie down and die. +My stockings and shoes were all worn out with so much walking, my feet +sore, swollen, and bleeding, and my limbs so stiff and lame that it was +only by the greatest effort that I could step at all. So extreme were my +sufferings, that I stopped more than once before I reached the village, +cast myself upon the cold ground, and thought I could go no further. +Not even the idea of being run over in the darkness by some passing +traveller, had power to keep me on my feet. Then I would rest awhile, +and resolve to try again; and so I hobbled onward. It seemed an age of +misery before I came to any house; but at length my spirits revived +at the sight of brilliant lights through the windows, and the sound of +cheerful voices that fell upon my ear. + +And now I thought my troubles over for that night at least. But no, when +I asked permission to stay over night, it was coldly refused. Again +and again I called at houses where the people seemed to enjoy all the +comforts and even the luxuries of life; but their comforts were for +themselves and not for a toil-worn traveller like me. This I was made to +understand in no gentle manner; and some of those I called upon were not +very particular in the choice of language. + +By this time my feet were dreadfully swollen, and O! so sore and stiff, +that every step produced the most intense agony. Is it strange that I +felt as though life was hardly worth preserving? I resolved to call at +one house more, and if again refused, to lie down by the wayside and +die. I accordingly entered the village hotel and asked for the landlady. +The bar-tender gave me a suspicious glance that made me tremble, and +asked my business. I told him my business was with the landlady and no +other person. He left the room a moment, and then conducted me to her +chamber. + +As I entered a lady came forward to meet me, and the pleasant expression +of her countenance at once won my confidence. She gave me a cordial +welcome, saying, with a smile, as she led me to a seat, "I guess, my +dear, you are a run-a-way, are you not?" I confessed that it was even +so; that I had fled from priestly cruelty, had travelled as far as I +could, and now, weary, sick, and faint from long fasting, I had ventured +to cast myself upon her mercy. "Will you protect me?" I asked, "and are +you a Roman Catholic?" "No," she replied, "I am not a Roman Catholic, +and I will protect you. You seem to have suffered much, and are quite +exhausted. But you will find a friend in me. I will not betray you, for +I dislike the priests and the convents as much as you do." + +She then called her little girl, and ordered a fire kindled in another +chamber, saying she did not wish her servants to see me. The child +soon returned, when the lady herself conducted me to a large, pleasant +bed-room, handsomely furnished with every convenience, and a fire in +the grate. She gave me a seat in a large easy-chair before the fire, and +went out, locking the door after her. In a short time she returned with +warm water for a bath, and with her own hands gave me all the assistance +needed. As I related the incidents of the day, she expressed much +sympathy for my sufferings, and said she was glad I had come to her. +She gave, me a cordial, and then brought me a cup of tea and other +refreshments, of which I made a hearty supper. She would not allow me to +eat all I wished; but when I had taken as much as was good for me, +she bathed my feet with a healing wash, and assisted me to bed. O, the +luxury of that soft and comfortable bed! No one can realize with what a +keen sense of enjoyment I laid my head upon those downy pillows, unless +they have suffered as I did, and known by experience the sweetness of +repose after excessive toil. + +All that night this good lady sat beside my bed, and kept my feet wet in +order to reduce the swelling. I was little inclined to sleep, and at her +request related some of the events of my convent life. While doing this, +I hardly knew what to make of this curious woman. Sometimes she would +weep, and then she would swear like any pirate. I was surprised and +somewhat afraid of her, she seemed so strange and used such peculiar +language. She understood my feelings at once, and immediately said, "You +need not be afraid of me, for I have a kind heart, if I do use wicked +words. I cannot help swearing when I think about the priests, monsters +of iniquity that they are; what fearful crimes they do commit under the +cloak of religion! O, if the people of this land could but see their +real character, they would rise en masse and drive them from the +country, whose liberties they will, if possible, destroy. For myself I +have good cause to hate them. Shall I tell you my story, dear?" I begged +her to do so, which she did, as follows: + +"I once had a sister, young, talented, beautiful, amiable and +affectionate. She was the pride of all our family, the idol of our +souls. She wished for an education, and we gladly granted her request. +In our zeal to serve her, we resolved to give her the very best +advantages, and so we sent her to a Romish school. It was a seminary for +young ladies taught by nuns, and was the most popular one in that +part of the country. My father, like many other parents who knew such +establishments only by report, had not the least idea of its true +character. But deluded by the supposed sanctity of the place, he was +happy in the thought that he had left his darling where it was said that +'science and religion go hand in hand.' For a season, all went on well. +She wrote to us that she was pleased with the school, and wished to +remain. We thought her hand writing wonderfully improved, and eagerly +looked forward to the time when she would return to us a finished +scholar, as well as an accomplished lady. But those pleasant prospects +were soon overcast. Too soon, our happy, bounding hearts were hushed by +unspeakable grief, and our brilliant anticipations were dissipated in +the chamber of death. In their place came those solemn realities, the +shroud, the coffin, the hearse and the tomb." + +"Did she die?" I asked. "Yes," replied the lady, as she wiped away the +fast flowing tears; "Yes, she died. I believe she was poisoned, but we +could do nothing; we had no proof." She had been long at school before we +suspected the deception that was practised upon us. But at length I went +with my other sister to see her, and the Superior informed us that she +was ill, and could not see us. We proposed going to her room, but to our +great surprise were assured that such a thing could not be allowed. +We left with sad hearts, and soon called again. I cannot describe my +feelings when we were coldly informed that she did not wish to see us. +What could it mean? Surely something must be wrong; and we left with +terrible presentiments of coming evil. It came. Yes, too soon were our +worst fears realized. I called one day resolved to see her before I left +the house. Conceive, if you can, my surprise and horror, when they told +me that my beautiful, idolized sister had resolved to become a nun. +That she had already renounced the world, and would hold no further +communication with her relatives. "Why did I not know this before? I +exclaimed." "You know it now," was the cold reply. I did not believe a +word of it, and when I told my father what they said, he went to them, +and resolutely demanded his child. At first they refused to give her up, +but when they saw that his high spirit was aroused--that he would not be +flattered or deceived, they reluctantly yielded to his demand." + + + + +CHAPTER XIII. + +LANDLADY'S STORY CONTINUED. + +The poor girl was overjoyed to meet her friends again, but how great was +our astonishment and indignation when she informed us that she had never +received a single line from home after she entered the school, nor did +she ever know that we had called to see her until we informed her of +the fact. Whenever she expressed surprise that she did not hear from us, +they told her that we had probably forgotten her, and strove to awaken +in her mind feelings of indignation, suspicion and animosity. Not +succeeding in this, however, they informed her that her father had +called, and expressed a wish that she should become a nun; that he did +not think it best for her to return home again, nor did he even ask for +a parting interview. + +Confounded and utterly heart-broken, she would have given herself up to +uncontrollable grief had she been allowed to indulge her feelings. But +even the luxury of tears was forbidden, and she was compelled to assume +an appearance of cheerfulness, and to smile when her heart-strings were +breaking. We brought forward the letters we had received from time to +time which we believed she had written. She had never seen them, before, +"and this," said she, "is not my hand-writing." Of this fact she soon +convinced us, but she said she had written letter after letter hoping +for an answer, but no answer came. She said she knew that the Superior +examined all the letters written by the young ladies, but supposed they +were always sent, after being read. But it was now plain to be seen that +those letters were destroyed, and others substituted in their place. + +[Footnote: Raffaele Ciocci, formerly a Benedictine Monk, in his +"Narrative," published by the American and Foreign Christian Union, +relates a similar experience of his own, when in the Papal College of +San Bernardo. + +Being urged to sign "a deed of humility," in which he was to renounce +all his property and give it to the college, he says, "I knew not what +to think of this "deed of humility." A thousand misgivings filled my +mind, and hoping to receive from the notary an explanation that would +assist me in fully comprehending its intention, I anxiously said, "I +must request, sir, that you will inform me what is expected from me. +Tell me what is this deed--whether it be really a mere form, as has been +represented to me, or if"--Here the master arose, and in an imperious +tone interrupted me, saying,--"Do not be obstinate and rebellions, but +obey. I have already told you that when you assume the habit of the +Order, the chapter 'de humititate' shall be explained to you. In this +paper you have only to make a renunciation of all you possess on earth." + +"Of all I possess! And if I renounce all, who, when I leave the college, +will provide for me?" The notary now interposed. "That," said he, "is +the point to which I wish to call your attention, in advising you to +make some reservation. If you neglect to do so, you may find yourself in +difficulties, losing, as you irrevocably will, every right of your own." +At these words, so palpable, so glaring, the bandage fell from my eyes, +and I saw the abyss these monsters were opening under my feet. "This is +a deception, a horrible deception," I exclaimed. "I now understand +the 'deed of humility,' but I protest I will not sign it, I will have +nothing more to do with it." * * * After spending two or three hours in +bitterness and woe, I resolved to have recourse to my family. For this +purpose I wrote a long letter to my mother, in which I exposed all the +miseries of my heart, related what had taken place with regard to the +"deed of humility," and begged of her consolation and advice. I gave +the letter into the hands of a servant, and on the following morning +received a reply, in which I was told, in gentle, terms, to +be tranquil,--not to resist the wishes of my directors,--sign +unhesitatingly any paper that might be required, for, when my studies +were completed, and I quitted the college, the validity of these forms +would cease. This letter set all my doubts at rest, and restored peace +to my mind. It was written by my mother, and she, I felt assured, would +never deceive me. How could I for one moment imagine that this epistle +was an invention of my enemies, who imitated the hand-writing and +affectionate style of my mother? Some persons will say, you might have +suspected it. * * * I reply, that in the uprightness of my heart, +I could not conceive such atrocious wickedness; it appeared utterly +irreconcilable with the sanctity of the place, and with the venerable +hoariness of persons dedicated to God. + +After perusing the letter, I hastened to the master, declaring my +readiness to sign the "deed of humility." He smiled approvingly on +finding how well his plan had succeeded. The notary and witnesses were +again summoned, and my condemnation written. The good notary, however, +pitying my situation, inserted an exceptional clause to the total +relinquishment of my rights. * * * No sooner was this business +concluded, than the master commanded me to write to my parents, to +inform them that I had signed the deed of renunciation, and was willing, +for the benefit of my soul, to assume the monkish habit. He was present +when I wrote this letter; I was, therefore, obliged to adopt the +phrases suggested by him,--phrases, breathing zeal and devotion; full of +indifference to the world, and tranquil satisfaction at the choice I +had made. My parents, thought I, will be astonished when they read this +epistle, but they must perceive that the language is not mine, so little +is it in accordance with my former style of writing. + +Reader, in the course of thirteen months, only one, of from fifty to +sixty letters which I addressed to my mother, was ever received by her, +and that one was this very letter. The monks, instead of forwarding +mine, had forged letters imitating the hand-writing, and adopting a +style suited to their purpose; and instead of consigning to me the +genuine replies, they artfully substituted answers of their own +fabrication. My family, therefore, were not surprised at the tenor of +this epistle, but rejoiced over it, and reputed me already a Saint. They +probably pictured me to themselves, on some future day, with a mitre on +my head--with the red cap--nay, perhaps, even wearing the triple crown. +Oh, what a delusion! Poor deceived parents! You knew not that your son, +in anguish and despair, was clashing his chains, and devouring his tears +in secret; that a triple bandage was placed before his eyes, and that +he was being dragged, an unwilling victim, to the sacrifice." Returning +home soon after, Ciocci rushed to his mother, and asked if she had +his letters. They, were produced; when he found that only one had been +written by him. The rest were forgeries of the masters.] + +"It follows then," said my father, "that these letters are forgeries, +and the excuses they have so often made are base falsehoods. A teacher +of the religion of Jesus Christ guilty of lying and forgery! 'O, my soul +come not thou into their secret; unto their assembly mine honor be thou +not united.'" + +"But we have our darling home again," said I, "and now we shall keep her +with us." Never shall I forget the sweet, sad smile that came over her +pale face as I uttered these words. Perchance, even then she realized +that she was soon to leave us, never more to return. However this may +be, she gradually declined. Slowly, but surely she went down to the +grave. Every remedy was tried--every measure resorted to, that seemed +to promise relief, but all in vain. We had the best physicians, but they +frankly confessed that they did not understand her disease. In a very +few months after her return, we laid our lovely and beloved sister +beneath the clods of the valley. Our good old physician wept as he gazed +upon her cold remains. I believe he thought she was poisoned, but as he +could not prove it, he would only have injured himself by saying so. As +for myself, I always thought that she knew too many of their secrets to +be allowed to live after leaving them. "And now, dear," she continued, +"do you think it strange that I hate the Romanists? Do you wonder if I +feel like swearing when I think of priests and convents?" + +Truly, I did not wonder that she hated them, though I could not +understand what benefit it could be to swear about it; but I did not +doubt the truth of her story. How often, in the convent from which I +fled, had I heard them exult over the success of some deep laid scheme +to entrap the ignorant, the innocent and the unwary! If a girl was rich +or handsome, as sure as she entered their school, so sure was she to +become a nun, unless she had influential friends to look after her and +resolutely prevent it. To effect this, no means were left untried. The +grossest hypocricy, and the meanest deception were practised to prevent +a girl from holding communication with any one out of the convent No +matter how lonely, or how homesick she might feel, she was not allowed +to see her friends, or even to be informed of their kind attentions. So +far from this, she was made to believe, if possible, that her relatives +had quite forsaken her, while these very relatives were boldly informed +that she did not wish to see them. If they wrote to their friends, as +they sometimes did, their letters were always destroyed, while those +received at home were invariably written by the priest or Superior. +These remarks, however, refer only to those who are rich, or beautiful +in person. Many a girl can say with truth that she has attended +the convent school, and no effort was ever made--no inducement ever +presented to persuade her to become a nun. Consequently, she says that +stories like the above are mere falsehoods, reported to injure the +school. This may be true so far as she is concerned, but you may be sure +she has neither riches nor beauty, or if possessed of these, there was +some other strong reason why she should be an exception to the general +rule. Could she know the private history of some of her school-mates, +she would tell a different story. + +I remember that while in the convent, I was one day sent up stairs to +assist a Superior in a chamber remote from the kitchen, and in a part of +the house where I had never been before. Returning alone to the kitchen, +I passed a door that was partly open, and hearing a slight groan within, +I pushed open the door and looked in, before I thought what I was doing. +A young girl lay upon a bed, who looked more like a corpse than a living +person. She saw me, and motioned to have me come to her. + +As I drew near the bed, she burst into tears, and whispered, "Can't you +get me a drink of cold water?" I told her I did not know, but I would +try. I hastened to the kitchen, and as no one was present but a nun whom +I did not fear, I procured a pitcher of water, and went back with it +without meeting any one on the way. I was well aware that if seen, I +should be punished, but I did not care. I was doing as I would wish +others to do to me, and truly, I had my reward. Never shall I forget how +grateful that poor sufferer was for a draught of cold water. She could +not tell how many days she had been fasting, for some of the time she +had been insensible; but it must have been several days, and she did not +know how long she was to remain in that condition. + +"How came you here?" I asked, in a whisper; "and what have you done to +induce them to punish you so?" "O," said she, with a burst of tears, and +grasping my hand with her pale, cold fingers, "I was in the school, and +I thought it would be so nice to be a nun! Then my father died and left +me all his property, and they persuaded me to stay here, and give it all +to the church. I was so sad then I did not care for money, and I had no +idea what a place it is. I really thought that the nuns were pure and +holy--that their lives were devoted to heaven, their efforts consecrated +to the cause of truth and righteousness. I thought that this was indeed +the 'house of God,' the very 'gate of heaven.' But as soon as they were +sure of me, they let me know--but you understand me; you know what I +mean?" I nodded assent, and once more asked, "What did you do?" "O, +I was in the school," said she, "and I knew that a friend of mine was +coming here just as I did; and I could not bear to see her, in all her +loveliness and unsuspecting innocence, become a victim to these vile +priests. I found an opportunity to let her know what a hell she +was coming to. 'Twas an unpardonable sin, you see. I had robbed the +church--committed sacrilege, they said--and they have almost killed me +for it. I wish they would QUITE, for I am sure death has no terrors for +me now. God will never punish me for what I have done. But go; don't +stay any longer; they'll kill you if they catch you here." I knew that +she had spoken truly--they WOULD kill me, almost, if not quite, if +they found me there; but I must know a little more. "Did you save your +friend?" I asked, "or did you both have to suffer, to pay for your +generous act?" "Did I save her? Yes, thank God, I did. She did not come, +and she promised not to tell of me. I don't think she did; but they +managed to find it out, I don't know how; and now--O God, let me die!" +I was obliged to go, and I left her, with a promise to carry her some +bread if I could. But I could not, and I never saw her again. Yet what +a history her few words unfolded! It was so much like the landlady's +story, I could not forbear relating it to her. She seemed much +interested in all my convent adventures; and in this way we spent the +night. + + + + +CHAPTER XIV. + +THE TWO SISTERS. + +Next morning the lady informed me that I could not remain with her in +safety, but she had a sister, who lived about half a mile distant, with +whom I could stop until my feet were sufficiently healed to enable me to +resume my journey. She then sent for her sister, who very kindly, as +I then thought, acceded to her request, and said I was welcome to stay +with her as long as I wished. Arrangements were therefore made at once +for my removal. My kind hostess brought two large buffalo robes into my +chamber, which she wrapped around my person in such a way as to shield +me from the observation of the servants. She then called one whom she +could trust, and bade him take up the bundle and carry it down to +a large covered wagon that stood at the door. I have often wondered +whether the man knew what was in that bundle or not. I do not think +he did, for he threw me across his shoulder as he would any bale of +merchandise, and laid me on the bottom of the carriage. The two ladies +then entered, laughing heartily at the success of their ruse, and joking +me about my novel mode of conveyance. In this manner we were driven +to the sister's residence, and I was carried into the house by the +servants, in the same way. The landlady stopped for a few moments, and +when she left she gave me cloth for a new dress, a few other articles of +clothing, and three dollars in money. She bade me stay there and make my +dress, and on no account venture out again in my nun dress. She wished +me success in my efforts to escape, commended me to the care of our +heavenly Father, and bade me farewell. She returned in the wagon alone, +and left me to make the acquaintance of my new hostess. + +This lady was a very different woman from her sister, and I soon had +reason to regret that I was in her power. It has been suggested to me +that the two ladies acted in concert; that I was removed for the sole +purpose of being betrayed into the hands of my enemies. But I am not +willing to believe this. Dark as human nature appears to me--accustomed +as I am to regard almost every one with suspicion--still I cannot for +one moment cherish a thought so injurious to one who was so kind to me. +Is it possible that she could be such a hypocrite? Treat me with so much +tenderness, and I might say affection, and then give me up to what was +worse than death? No; whatever the reader may think about it, I can +never believe her guilty of such perfidy. I regret exceedingly my +inability to give the name of this lady in connection with the history +of her good deeds, but I did not learn the name of either sister. The +one to whom I was now indebted for a shelter seemed altogether careless +of my interests. I had been with her but a few hours when she asked me +to do some washing for her. Of course I was glad to do it; but when she +requested me to go into the yard and hang the clothes upon the line, I +became somewhat alarmed. I did not like to do it, and told her so; but +she laughed at my fears, overruled all my objections, said no one in +that place would seek to harm or to betray me, and assured me there +was not the least danger. I at last consented to go, though my reason, +judgment, and inclination, had I followed their dictates, would have +kept me in the house. But I did not like to appear ungrateful, or +unwilling to repay the kindness I received, as far as I was able; still +I could not help feeling that it was an ungenerous demand. She might at +least have offered me a bonnet or a shawl, as a partial disguise; but +she did nothing of the kind. + +When I saw that I could not avoid the exposure I resolved to make +the best of it and get through as quickly, as possible; but my dress +attracted a good deal of attention, and I saw more than one suspicious +glance directed towards me before my task was finished. When it was +over I thought no more about it, but gave myself up to the bright +anticipations of future happiness, which now began to take possession of +my mind. + +That night I retired to a comfortable bed, and was soon lost to all +earthly cares in the glorious land of dreams. What unalloyed happiness I +enjoyed that night! what impossible feats I performed! Truly, the vision +was bright, but a sad awaking followed. Some time in the night I was +aroused by the flashing of a bright light from a dark lantern suddenly +opened. I attempted to rise, but before I could realize where I was, +a strong hand seized me and a gag was thrust into my mouth. The man +attempted to take me in his arms, but with my hands and feet I +defended myself to the best of my ability. Another man now came to his +assistance, and with strong cords confined my hands and feet, so that I +was entirely at their mercy. Perfectly helpless, I could neither resist +nor call for help. They then took me up and carried me down stairs, with +no clothing but my night-dress, not even a shawl to shield me from the +cold night air. + +At the gate stood a long covered wagon, in form like a butchers cart, +drawn by two horses, and beside it a long box with several men standing +around it. I had only time to observe this, when they thrust me into the +box, closed the lid, placed it in the wagon, and drove rapidly away. +I could not doubt for a moment into whose hands I had fallen, and when +they put me into the box, I wished I might suffocate, and thus end my +misery at once. But they had taken good care to prevent this by boring +holes in the box, which admitted air enough to keep up respiration. +And this was the result of all my efforts for freedom! After all I had +suffered in making my escape, it was a terrible disappointment to be +thus cruelly betrayed, gagged, bound, and boxed up like an article of +merchandise, carried back to certain torture, and perchance to death. +O, blame me not, gentle reader, if in my haste, and the bitter +disappointment and anguish of my spirit, I questioned the justice of the +power that rules the world. Nor let your virtuous indignation wax hot +against me if I confess to you, that I even doubted the existence of +that power. How often had I cried to God for help! Why were my prayers +and tears disregarded? What had I done to deserve such a fife of misery? +These, and similar thoughts occupied my mind during that lonely midnight +ride. + +We arrived at St. Regis before the first Mass in the morning. The box +was then taken into the chapel, where they took me out and carried me +into the church. I was seated at the foot of the altar, with my hands +and feet fast bound, the gag still in my mouth, and no clothing on, but +my night-dress. Two men stood beside me, and I remained here until the +priest had said mass and the people retired from the church. He then +came down from the altar, and said to the men beside me, "Well, you have +got her." "Yes Sir," they replied, "what shall we do with her?" "Put her +on the five o'clock boat," said he, "and let the other men go with her +to Montreal. I want you to stay here, and be ready to go the other way +tonight" This priest was an Indian, but he spoke the English language +correctly and fluently. He seemed to feel some pity for my forlorn +condition, and as they were about to carry me away he brought a large +shawl, and wrapped it around me, for which I was truly grateful. + +At the appointed time, I was taken on board the boat, watched very +closely by the two men who had me in charge. There was need enough of +this, for I would very gladly have thrown myself into the water, had I +not been prevented. Once and again I attempted it, but the men held me +back. For this, I am now thankful, but at that time my life appeared of +so little importance, and the punishments I knew were in reserve for me +seemed so fearful, I voluntarily chose "strangling and death rather than +life." The captain and sailors were all Romanists, and seemed to vie +with each other in making me as unhappy as possible They made sport of +my "new fashioned clothing," and asked if I "did not wish to run away +again?" When they found I did not notice them they used the most abusive +and scurrilous language, mingled with vulgar and profane expressions, +which may not be repeated. The men who had charge of me, and who should +have protected me from such abuse, so far from doing it, joined in the +laugh, and appeared to think it a pleasant amusement to ridicule and vex +a poor helpless fugitive. May God forgive them for their cruelty, and +in the hour of their greatest need, may they meet with the kindness they +refused to me. + +At Lachine we changed boats and took another to Montreal. When we +arrived there, three priests were waiting for us. Their names I +perfectly remember, but I am not sure that I can spell them correctly. +Having never learned while in the nunnery, to read, or spell anything +except a simple prayer, it is not strange if I do make mistakes, when +attempting to give names from memory. I can only give them as they were +pronounced. They were called Father Kelly, Dow, and Conroy. All the +priests were called father, of whatever age they might be. + +As we proceeded from the boat to the Nunnery, one of the priests went +before us while the others walked beside me, leading me between them. +People gazed at us as we passed, but they did not dare to insult, or +laugh at me, while in such respectable company. Yet, methinks it +must have been a ludicrous sight to witness so much parade for a poor +run-a-way nun. + + + + +CHAPTER XV. + +CHOICE OF PUNISHMENTS. + +On our arrival at the Nunnery, I was left alone for half an hour. Then +the Bishop came in with the Lady Superior, and the Abbess who had charge +of the kitchen when I left. The Bishop read to me three punishments of +which he said, I could take my choice. First.--To fast five days in the +fasting room. Second.--To suffer punishment in the lime room. Third.--To +fast four days, in the cell. As I knew nothing of these places except +the cell, a priest was directed to take me to them, that I might see for +myself, and then take my choice. At first, I thought I did not care, and +I said I had no choice about it; but when I came to see the rooms, I was +thankful that I was not allowed to abide by that decision. Certainly, I +had no idea what was before me. + +I was blindfolded, and taken to the lime room first. I think it must +have been situated at a great distance from the room we left, for he led +me down several flights of stairs, and through long, low passages, where +it was impossible to stand erect. At length we entered a room where the +atmosphere seemed laden with hot vapor. My blinder was removed, and I +found myself in a pleasant room some fifteen feet square. There was no +furniture of any kind, but a wide bench, fastened to the wall, extended +round three sides of the room. The floor looked like one solid block of +dark colored marble; not a crack or seam to be seen in it, but it was +clouded, highly polished, and very beautiful. Around the sides of the +room, a great number of hooks and chains were fastened to the wall, and +a large hook hung in the center overhead. Near the door stood two men, +with long iron bars, some two inches square, on their shoulders. + +The priest directed me to stand upon the bench, and turning to the men, +he bade them raise the door. They put down their bars, and I suppose +touched a concealed spring, for the whole floor at once flew up, and +fastened to the large hook over head. Surprised and terrified, I stood +wondering what was to come next. At my feet yawned a deep pit, from +which, arose a suffocating vapor, so hot, it almost scorched my face and +nearly stopped my breath. The priest pointed to the heaving, tumbling +billows of smoke that were rolling below, and; asked, "How would you +like to be thrown into the lime?" "Not at all," I gasped, in a voice +scarcely audible, "it would burn me to death." I suppose he thought I +was sufficiently frightened, for he bade his men close the door. This +they did by slowly letting down the floor, and I could see that it was +in some way supported by the chains attached to the walls but in what +manner I do not know. + +I was nearly suffocated by the lime smoke that filled the room, and +though I knew not what was in reserve for me, I was glad when my blinder +was put on, and I was led away. I think we returned the same way we +came, and entered another room where the scent was so very offensive, +that I begged to be taken out immediately. Even before my eyes were +uncovered, and I knew nothing of the loathsome objects by which we were +surrounded, I felt that I could not endure to breathe an atmosphere so +deadly. But the sight that met my eyes when my blinder was removed, I +cannot describe, nor the sensations with which I gazed upon it. I can +only give the reader some faint idea of the place, which, they said, was +called the fasting room, and here incorrigible offenders fasted until +they starved to death. Nor was this all. Their dead bodies were not even +allowed a decent burial, but were suffered to remain in the place where +they died, until the work of death was complete and dust returned to +dust. Thus the atmosphere became a deadly poison to the next poor victim +who was left to breathe the noxious effluvia of corruption and decay. I +am well aware that my reader will hardly credit my statements, but I do +solemnly affirm that I relate nothing but the truth. In this room were +placed several large iron kettles, so deep that a person could sit in +them, and many of them contained the remains of human beings. In one the +corpse looked as though it had been dead but a short time. Others still +sat erect in the kettle, but the flesh was dropping from the bones. +Every stage of decay was here represented, from the commencement, till +nothing but a pile of bones was left of the poor sufferer. + +Conceive, if you can, with what feelings I gazed upon these disgusting +relics of the dead. Even now, my blood chills in my veins, as memory +recalls the fearful sight, or as, in sleep, I live over again the +dread realities of that hour. Was I to meet a fate like this? I might, +perchance, escape it for that time, but what assurance had I that I was +not ultimately destined to such an end? These thoughts filled my mind, +as I followed the priest from the room; and for a long time I continued +to speculate upon what I had seen. They called it the fasting room; but +if fasting were the only object, why were they placed in those kettles, +instead of being allowed to sit on chairs or benches, or even on the +floor? And why placed in IRON kettles? Why were they not made of +wood? It would have answered the purpose quite as well, if fasting +or starvation were the only objects in view. Then came the fearful +suggestion, were these kettles ever heated? And was that floor made +of stone or iron? The thought was too shocking to be cherished for a +moment; but I could not drive it from my mind. + +I was again blindfolded, and taken to a place they called a cell. But it +was quite different from the one I was in before. We descended several +steps as we entered it, and instead of the darkness I anticipated, I +found myself in a large room with sufficient light to enable me to see +every object distinctly. One end of a long chain was fastened around my +waist, and the other firmly secured to an iron ring in the floor; but +the chain, though large and heavy, was long enough to allow me to go all +over the room. I could not see how it was lighted, but it must have been +in some artificial manner, for it was quite as light at night, as in the +day. Here were instruments of various kinds, the use of which, I did +not understand; some of them lying on the floor, others attached to the +sides of the room. One of them was made in the form of a large fish, +but of what material I do not know. It was of a bright flesh color, and +fastened to a board on the floor. If I pressed my foot upon the board, +it would put in motion some machinery within, which caused it to spring +forward with a harsh, jarring sound like the rumbling of the cars. At +the same time its eyes would roll round, and its mouth open, displaying +a set of teeth so large and long that I was glad to keep at a safe +distance. I wished to know whether it would really bite me or not, but +it looked so frightful I did not dare to hazard the experiment. + +Another so nearly resembled a large serpent, I almost thought it was +one; but I found it moved only when touched in a certain manner. Then +it would roll over, open its mouth, and run out its tongue. There was +another that I cannot describe, for I never saw anything that looked +like it. It was some kind of a machine, and the turning of a crank made +it draw together in such a way, that if a person were once within its +embrace, the pressure would soon arrest the vital current, and stop +the breath of life. Around the walls of the room were chains, rings and +hooks, almost innumerable; but I did not know their use, and feared +to touch them. I believed them all to be instruments of torture, and I +thought they gave me a long chain in the hope and expectation that +my curiosity would lead me into some of the numerous traps the room +contained. + +Every morning the figure I had seen beside the dying nun, which they +called the devil, came to my cell, and unlocking the door himself, +entered, and walked around me, laughing heartily, and seeming much +pleased to find me there. He would blow white froth from his mouth, but +he never spoke to me, and when he went out, he locked the door after him +and took away the key. He was, in fact, very thoughtful and prudent, but +it will be long before I believe that he came as they pretended, from +the spirit world. So far from being frightened, the incident was rather +a source of amusement. Such questions as the following would force +themselves upon my mind. If that image is really the devil, where did he +get that key? And what will he do with it? Does the devil hold the keys +of this nunnery, so that he can come and go as he pleases? Or, are the +priests on such friendly terms with his satanic majesty that they lend +him their keys? Or, do they hold them as partners? Gentlemen of the Grey +Nunnery, please tell us how it is about those keys. + + + +CHAPTER XVI. + +HORRORS OF STARVATION. + +One day a woman came into my cell, dressed in white, a white cap on +her head, and so very pale she looked more like a corpse than a living +person. She came up to me with her mouth wide open, and stood gazing +at me for a moment in perfect silence. She then asked, "Where have you +been?" "Into the world," I replied. "How did you like the world?" "Very +well," said I. She paused a moment, and then asked, "Did you find your +friends?" "No, ma'am," said I, "I did not." Another pause, and then she +said, "Perhaps you will if you go again." "No," I replied, "I shall not +try again." "You had better try it once more," she added, and I thought +there was a slight sneer in her tone; "Perhaps you may succeed better +another time." "No," I replied, "I shall not try to run away from the +nunnery again. I should most assuredly be caught and brought back, and +then they would make me suffer so much, I assure you I shall never do it +again." She looked at me a moment as though she would read my very soul, +and said, "And so you did not find your friends, after all, did you?" I +again told her that I did not, and she seemed satisfied with the result +of her questioning. When she came in, I was pleased to see her, and +thought I would ask her for something to eat, or at least for a little +cold water. But she seemed so cold-hearted, so entirely destitute of +sympathy or kind feeling, I had no courage to speak to her, for I felt +that it would do no good. Perhaps I misjudged her. I knew from her looks +that she must have been a great sufferer; but I have heard it said that +extreme suffering sometimes hardens instead of softening the heart, +and I believe it. It seemed to me that this woman had suffered so much +herself, that every kind feeling was crushed out of her soul. I was glad +when she left me, locking the door after her. + +Four days they kept me in this cell, and for five days and nights I had +not tasted food or drink. I endured the most intolerable agonies from +hunger and thirst. The suffering produced by hunger, when it becomes +actual starvation, is far beyond anything that I can imagine. There +is no other sensation that can be compared to it, and no language can +describe it. One must feel it in order to realize what it is. The +first two days I amused myself by walking round my room and trying to +conjecture the use to which the various instruments were applied. Then +I became so weak I could only think of eating and drinking. I sometimes +fell asleep, but only to dream of loaded tables and luxurious feasts. +Yet I could never taste the luxuries thus presented. Whenever I +attempted to do so, they would be snatched away, or I would wake to +find it all a dream. Driven to a perfect frenzy by the intensity of my +sufferings, I would gladly have eaten my own flesh. Well was it for me +that no sharp instrument was at hand, for as a last resort I more than +once attempted to tear open my veins with my teeth. + +This severe paroxysm passed away, and I sank into a state of partial +unconsciousness, in which I remained until I was taken out of the cell. +I do not believe I should have lived many hours longer, nor should I +ever have been conscious of much more suffering. With me the "bitterness +of death had passed," and I felt disappointed and almost angry to be +recalled to a life of misery. I begged them to allow me to die. It was +the only boon I craved. But this would have been too merciful; moreover, +they did not care to lose my services in the kitchen. I was a good +drudge for them, and they wished to restore me on the same principle +that a farmer would preserve the life of a valuable horse. + +I do not remember leaving the cell. The first thing I realized they were +placing me in a chair in the kitchen, and allowed me to lean my head +upon the table. They gave me some gruel, and I soon revived so that I +could sit up in my chair and speak in a whisper. But it was some hours +before I could stand on my feet or speak loud. An Abbess was in the +kitchen preparing bread and wine for the priests (they partake of +these refreshments every day at ten in the morning and three in the +afternoon). She brought a pailful of wine and placed it on the table +near me, and left a glass standing beside it. When she turned away, I +took the glass, dipped up a little of the wine, and drank it. She saw +me do it, but said not a word, and I think she left it there for that +purpose. The wine was very strong, and my stomach so weak, I soon began +to feel sick, and asked permission to go to bed. They took me up in +their arms and carried me to my old room and laid me on the bed. Here +they left me, but the Abbess soon returned with some gruel made very +palatable with milk and sugar. I was weak, and my hand trembled so that +I could not feed myself; but the Abbess kindly sat beside me and fed me +until I was satisfied. I had nothing more to eat until the next day at +eleven o'clock, when the Abbess again brought me some bread and gruel, +and a cup of strong tea. She requested me to drink the tea as quick as +possible, and then she concealed the mug in which she brought it. + +I was now able to feed myself, and you may be sure I had an excellent +appetite, and was not half so particular about my food as some persons +I have since known. I lay in bed till near night, when I rose, dressed +myself without assistance, and went down to the kitchen. I was so weak +and trembled so that I could hardly manage to get down stairs; but +I succeeded at last, for a strong will is a wonderful incentive to +efficient action. + +In the kitchen I met the Lady Superior. She saw how weak I was, and as +she assisted me to a chair, she said, "I should not have supposed that +you could get down here alone. Have you had anything to eat to-day?" I +was about to say yes, but one of the nuns shook her head at me, and I +replied "No." She then brought some bread and wine, requesting me to eat +it quick, for fear some of the priests might come in and detect us. Thus +I saw that she feared the priests as well as the rest of us. Truly, +it was a terrible crime she had committed! No wonder she was afraid +of being caught! Giving a poor starved nun a piece of bread, and then +obliged to conceal it as she would have done a larceny or a murder! +Think of it, reader, and conceive, if you can, the state of that +community where humanity is a crime--where mercy is considered a +weakness of which one should be ashamed! If a pirate or a highwayman had +been guilty of treating a captive as cruelly as I was treated by those +priests, he would have been looked upon as an inhuman monster, and at +once given up to the strong grasp of the law. But when it is done by a +priest, under the cloak of Religion, and within the sacred precincts of +a nunnery, people cry out, when the tale is told, "Impossible!" "What +motive could they have had?" "It cannot be true," etc. But whether +the statement is believed or otherwise, it is a fact that in the Grey +Nunnery at Montreal the least exhibition of a humane spirit was +punished as a crime. The nun who was found guilty of showing mercy to a +fellow-sufferer was sure to find none herself. + +From this time I gained very fast, for the Abbess saw how hungry I was, +and she would either put food in my way, or give me privately what I +wished to eat. In two weeks I was able to go to work in the kitchen +again. But those I had formerly seen there were gone. I never knew what +became of the sick nun, nor could I learn anything about the one who ran +away with me. I thought that the men who brought me to St. Regis, were +kept there to go after her, but I do not know whether they found her +or not. For myself, I promised so solemnly, and with such apparent +sincerity, that I would never leave the nunnery again, I was believed +and trusted. Had I been kindly treated, had my life been even tolerable, +my conscience would have reproached me for deceiving them, but as it +was, I felt that I was more "sinned against, than sinning." I could not +think it wrong to get away, if the opportunity presented, and for this I +was constantly on the watch. Every night I lay awake long after all +the rest were buried in slumber, trying to devise some plan, by which +I could once more regain my liberty. And who can blame me? Having +just tasted the sweets of freedom, how could I be content to remain in +servitude all my life? Many a time have I left my bed at night, resolved +to try to escape once more, but the fear of detection would deter me +from the attempt. + +In the discharge of my daily duties, I strove to the utmost of my +ability to please my employers. I so far succeeded, that for five weeks +after my return I escaped punishment. Then, I made a slight mistake +about my work, though I verily thought I was doing it according to the +direction. For this, I was told that I must go without two meals, and +spend three days in the torture room. I supposed it was the same room I +was in before, but I was mistaken. I was taken into the kitchen cellar, +and down a flight of stairs to another room directly under it. From +thence, a door opened into another subterranean apartment which they +called the torture room. These doors were so constructed, that a casual +observer would not be likely to notice them. I had been in that cellar +many times, but never saw that door until I was taken through it. A +person might live in the nunnery a life-time, and never see or hear +anything of such a place. I presume those visitors who call at the +school-rooms, go over a part of the house, and leave with the impression +that the convent is a nice place, will never believe my statements about +this room. Nor can we wonder at their skepticism. It is exceedingly +difficult for pure minds to conceive how any human being can be so +fearfully depraved. Knowing the purity of their own intentions, and +judging others by themselves, it is not strange that they regard such +tales of guilt and terror as mere fabrications, put forth to gratify the +curiosity of the wonder-loving crowd. + + + + +CHAPTER XVII. + +THE TORTURE ROOM. + +I remember hearing a gentleman at the depot remark that the very +enormity of the crimes committed by the Romanists, is their best +protection. "For," said he, "some of their practices are so shockingly +infamous they may not even be alluded to in the presence of the refined +and the virtuous. And if the story of their guilt were told, who would +believe the tale? Far easier would it be to call the whole a slanderous +fabrication, than to believe that man can be so vile." + +This consideration led me to doubt the propriety of attempting a +description of what I saw in that room. But I have engaged to give a +faithful narrative of what transpired in the nunnery; and shall I leave +out a part because it is so strange and monstrous, that people will not +believe it? No. I will tell, without the least exaggeration what I saw, +heard, and experienced. People may not credit the story now, but a day +will surely come when they will know that I speak the truth. + +As I entered the room I was exceedingly shocked at the horrid spectacle +that met my eye. I knew that fearful scenes were enacted in the +subterranean cells, but I never imagined anything half so terrible as +this. In various parts of the room I saw machines, and instruments of +torture, and on some of them persons were confined who seemed to be +suffering the most excruciating agony. I paused, utterly overcome with +terror, and for a moment imagined that I was a witness to the torments, +which, the priests say, are endured by the lost, in the world of woe. +Was I to undergo such tortures, and which of those infernal engines +would be applied to me? I was not long in doubt. The priest took hold of +me and put me into a machine that held me fast, while my feet rested +on a piece of iron which was gradually heated until both feet were +blistered. I think I must have been there fifteen minutes, but perhaps +the time seemed longer than it was. He then took me out, put some +ointment on my feet and left me. + +I was now at liberty to examine more minutely the strange objects around +me. There were some persons in the place whose punishment, like my own, +was light compared with others. But near me lay one old lady extended +on a rack. Her joints were all dislocated, and she was emaciated to the +last degree. I do not suppose I can describe this rack, for I never saw +anything like it. It looked like a gridiron but was long enough for the +tallest man to lie upon. There were large rollers at each end, to which +belts were attached, with a large lever to drive them back and forth. +Upon this rack the poor woman was fastened in such a way, that when the +levers were turned and the rollers made to revolve, every bone in her +body was displaced. Then the violent strain would be relaxed, a little, +and she was so very poor, her skin would sink into the joints and remain +there till it mortified and corrupted. + +It was enough to melt the hardest heart to witness her agony; but +she bore it with a degree of fortitude and patience, I could not have +supposed possible, had I not been compelled to behold it. When I entered +the room she looked up and said, "Have you come to release me, or only +to suffer with me?" I did not dare to reply, for the priest was there, +but when he left us she exclaimed, "My child, let nothing induce you +to believe this cursed religion. It will be the death of you, and that +death, will be the death of a dog." I suppose she meant that they would +kill me as they would a dog. She then asked, "Who put you here?" "My +Father," said I. "He must have been a brute," said she, "or he never +could have done it." At one time I happened to mention the name of +God, when she fiercely exclaimed with gestures of contempt, "A God! You +believe there is one, do you? Don't you suffer yourself to believe any +such thing. Think you that a wise, merciful, and all powerful being +would allow such a hell as this to exist? Would he suffer me to be torn +from friends and home, from my poor children and all that my soul holds +dear, to be confined in this den of iniquity, and tortured to death in +this cruel manner? No, O, no. He would at once destroy these monsters +in human form; he would not suffer them, for one moment, to breathe the +pure air of heaven." + +At another time she exclaimed, "O, my children! my poor motherless +children! What will become of them? God of mercy, protect my children!" +Thus, at one moment, she would say there was no God, and the next, +pray to him for help. This did not surprise me, for she was in such +intolerable misery she did not realize what she did say. Every few hours +the priest came in, and gave the rollers a turn, when her joints would +crack and--but I cannot describe it. The sight made me sick and faint at +the time, as the recollection of it, does now. It seemed as though that +man must have had a heart of adamant, or he could not have done it. +She would shriek, and groan, and weep, but it did not affect him in the +least. He was as calm, and deliberate as though he had a block of wood +in his hands, instead of a human being. When I saw him coming, I once +shook my head at her, to have her stop speaking; but when he was gone, +she said, "Don't shake your head at me; I do not fear him. He can but +kill me, and the quicker he does it the better. I would be glad if he +would put an end to my misery at once, but that would be too merciful. +He is determined to kill me by inches, and it makes no difference what I +say to him." + +She had no food, or drink, during the three days I was there, and the +priest never spoke to her. He brought me my bread and water regularly, +and I would gladly have given it to that poor woman if she would have +taken it. But she would not accept the offer. It would only prolong +her sufferings, and she wished to die. I do not suppose she could have +lived, had she been taken out when I first saw her. + +In another part of the room, a monk was under punishment. He was +standing in some kind of a machine, with heavy weights attached to his +feet, and a belt passed across his breast under his arms. He appeared to +be in great distress, and no refreshment was furnished him while I was +there. + +On one side of the room, I observed a closet with a "slide door," as the +nuns called them. There were several doors of this description in the +building, so constructed as to slide back into the ceiling out of +sight. Through this opening I could see an image resembling a monk; and +whenever any one was put in there, they would shriek, and groan, and beg +to be taken out, but I could not ascertain the cause of their suffering. + +One day a nun was brought in to be punished. The priest led her up to +the side of the room, and bade her put her fingers into some holes in +the wall just large enough to admit them. She obeyed but immediately +drew them back with a loud shriek. I looked to see what was the matter +with her, and lo! every nail was torn from her fingers, which were +bleeding profusely. How it was done, I do not know. Certainly, there was +no visible cause for such a surprising effect. In all probability the +fingers came in contact with the spring of some machine on the other +side, or within the wall to which some sharp instrument was attached. I +would give much to know just how it was constructed, and what the +girl had done to subject herself to such a terrible and unheard-of +punishment. But this, like many other things in that establishment, was +wrapped in impenetrable mystery. God only knows when the veil will be +removed, or whether it ever will be until the day when all secret things +will be brought to light. + +When the three days expired, I was taken out of this room, but did not +go to work again till my feet were healed. I was then obliged to assist +in milking the cows, and taking care of the milk. They had a large +number of cows, I believe thirty-five, and dairy rooms, with every thing +convenient for making butter and cheese. When first directed to go +out and milk, I was pleased with the idea, for I hoped to find and +opportunity to escape; but I was again disappointed. In the cow yard, as +elsewhere, every precaution was taken to prevent it. + +Passing out of the main yard of the convent through a small door, I +found myself in a small, neat yard, surrounded by a high fence, so that +nothing could be seen but the sky overhead. The cows were driven in, +and the door immediately locked, so that escape from that place seemed +impossible. + +At harvest time, in company with twenty other nuns, I was taken out +into the country to the residence of the monks. The ride out there was +a great treat, and very much enjoyed by us all. I believe it was about +five miles, through a part of the city of Montreal; the north part +I think, but I am not sure. We stopped before a large white stone +building, situated in the midst of a large yard like the one at the +nunnery. A beautiful walk paved with stone, led from the gate to the +front door, and from thence, around the house. Within the yard, there +was also a delightful garden, with neat, well kept walks laid out in +various directions. Before the front door there stood a large cross. +I think I never saw a more charming place; it appeared to me a perfect +paradise. I heard one of the priests say that the farm consisted of four +hundred acres, and belonged to the nunnery. The house was kept by two +widow ladies who were married before they embraced the Romish faith. +They were the only women on the place previous to our arrival, and I +think they must have found it very laborious work to wait upon so many +monks. I do not know their number, but there was a great many of them, +besides a large family of boys, who, I suppose, were being educated for +priests or monks. + +Immediately on our arrival a part of our number were set to work in the +fields, while the rest were kept in the house to assist the women. I +hoped that I might be one of these last, but disappointment was again +my lot. I was sent to the field with the others, and set to reaping; a +priest being stationed near, to guard us and oversee our work. We were +watched very closely, one priest having charge of two nuns, for whose +safe keeping he was responsible. Here we labored until the harvest was +all gathered in. I dug potatoes, cut up corn and husked it, gathered +apples, and did all kinds of work that is usually done by men in the +fall of the year. Yet I was never allowed to wear a bonnet on my head, +or anything to shield me from the piercing rays of the sun. Some +days the heat was almost intolerable, and my cap was not the least +protection, but they allowed me no other covering. + +In consequence of this exposure, my head soon became the seat of severe +neuralgic pain, which caused me at times to linger over my work. But +this was not permitted. My movements were immediately quickened, for the +work must be done notwithstanding the severe pain. Every command must be +obeyed whatever the result. + +At night a part of our number were taken to the nunnery, and the rest +of us locked up in our rooms in the house. We were not permitted to +take our meals with the two housekeepers, but a table was set for us in +another room. One would think that when gathering the fruit we would +be allowed to partake of it, or at least to taste it. But this was not +allowed; and as a priest's eye was ever upon us, we dare not disobey, +however much we might wish to do so. I used to wonder if the two women +who kept the house were as severely dealt with as we were, but had no +means whereby to satisfy my curiosity. They were not allowed to converse +with us, and we might not speak to them, or even look them in the face. +Here, as at the nunnery, we were obliged to walk with the head bent +forward a little, the eyes fixed on the floor, one hand, if disengaged, +under the cape, the other down by the side, and on no occasion might we +look a person in the face. The two women seemed to be governed by the +same rules that we were, and subject to the same masters. I used to +think a great deal about them, and longed to know their history. They +wore blue dresses, with white caps, and white handkerchiefs on their +necks. Their life, I think, was a hard one. + + + + +CHAPTER XVIII. + +RETURN TO THE NUNNERY. + +While we remained at this place I was not punished in any of the usual +methods. Perhaps they thought the exposure to a burning sun, and a +severe headache, sufficient to keep me in subjection without any other +infliction. But immediately on my return to the nunnery I was again +subjected to the same cruel, capricious, and unreasonable punishment. + +On the first day after my return one of the priests came into the +kitchen where I was at work, and I hastened to give him the usual +respectful salutation, which I have before described. But he took hold +of my arm and said, "What do you look so cross for?" And without giving +me time to reply, even if I had dared to do so, he added, "I'll teach +you not to look cross at me." He left the room, with an expression of +countenance that frightened me. I was not aware of looking cross at him, +though I must confess I had suffered so much at his hands already, I did +not feel very happy in his presence; yet I always endeavored to treat +him with all due respect. Certainly his accusation against me in this +instance was as false as it was cruel. But what of that? I was only +a nun, and who would care if I was punished unjustly? The priest soon +returned with a band of leather, or something of the kind, into which +thorns were fastened in such numbers that the inside was completely +covered with them. This he fastened around my head with the points of +the thorns pressing into the skin, and drew it so tight that the blood +ran in streams over my neck and shoulders. I wore this band, or "crown +of thorns;" as they called it, for six hours, and all the time continued +my work as usual. Then I thought of the "crown of thorns" our Saviour +wore when he gave his life a ransom for the sins of the world. I thought +I could realize something of his personal agony, and the prayer of my +soul went up to heaven for grace to follow his example and forgive my +tormentors. + +From this time I was punished every day while I remained there, and +for the most simple things. It was evident they wished to break down my +spirit, but it only confirmed me in my resolution to get away from them +as soon as possible. + +One day I chanced to close the door a little too hard. It was mere +accident, but for doing it they burned me with red hot tongs. They kept +them in the fire till they were red hot, then plunged them into cold +water, drew them out as quickly as possible, and immediately applied +them to my arms or feet. The skin would, of course adhere to the iron, +and it would sometime burn down to the bone before they condescended to +remove it. At another time I was cruelly burned on my arms and shoulders +for not standing erect. The flesh was deep in some places, and the agony +I suffered was intolerable. I thought of the stories the Abbess used to +tell me years before about the martyrs who were burned at the stake. But +I had not a martyr's faith, and I could not imitate their patience and +resignation. The sores made on these occasions were long in healing, +and to this day I bear upon my person the scars caused by these frequent +burnings. + +I was often punished because I forgot to walk on my toes. For this +trivial offence I have often been made to fast two days. We all wore +cloth shoes, and it was the rule of the house that we should all walk on +tip-toe. Sometimes we would forget, and take a step or two in the usual +way; and then it did seem as though they rejoiced in the opportunity to +inflict punishment. It was the only amusement they had, and there was so +little variety in their daily life, I believe they were glad of anything +to break in upon the monotony of convent life, and give them a little +excitement. It was very hard for me to learn to walk on my toes, and +as I often failed to do it, I was of course punished for the atrocious +crime. But I did learn at last, for what can we not accomplish by +resolute perseverance? Several years of practice so confirmed the habit +that I found it as difficult to leave off as it was to begin. Even now I +often find myself tripping along on tip-toe before I am aware of it. + +We had a very cruel abbess in the kitchen, and this was one reason of +our being punished so often. She was young and inexperienced, and had +just been promoted to office, with which she seemed much pleased and +elated. She embraced every opportunity to exercise her authority, and +often have I fasted two whole days for accidentally spilling a little +water on the kitchen floor. Whenever she wished to call my attention to +her, she did not content herself with simply speaking, but would box my +ears, pull my hair, pinch my arms, and in many ways so annoy and provoke +me that I often wished her dead. One day when I was cleaning knives and +forks she came up to me and gave me such a severe pinch on my arm that +I carried the marks for many days. I did not wait to think what I was +doing, but turned and struck her with all my might. It could not have +been a light blow, for I was very angry. She turned away, saying she +should report me to the Lady Superior. I did not answer her, but as she +passed through the door I threw a knife which I hoped would hit her, but +it struck the door as she closed it. I expected something dreadful would +be done to me after this wilful violation of a well known law. But I +could bear it, I thought, and I was glad I hit her so hard. + +She soon returned with a young priest, who had been there but a short +time, and his heart had not yet become so hard as is necessary to be +a good Romish priest. He came to me and asked, "What is the matter?" +I told him the Abbess punished me every day, that in fact I was under +punishment most of the time; that I did not deserve it, and I was +resolved to bear it no longer. I struck her because she pinched me for +no good reason; and I should in future try to defend myself from her +cruelty. + +"Do you know," said he, "what will be done to you for this?" "No, sir," +said I, "I do not know," and I was about to add, "I do not care," but +I restrained myself. He went out, and for a long time I expected to be +called to account, but I heard no more of it. The Abbess, however, went +on in the old way, tormenting me on every occasion. + +One day the priests had a quarrel among themselves, and if I had said a +DRUNKEN QUARREL, I do not think it would have been a very great mistake. +In the fray they stabbed one of their number in the side, drew him out +of his room, and left him on the floor in the hall of the main building, +but one flight of stairs above the kitchen. Two nuns, who did the +chamber work, came down stairs, and, seeing him lie there helpless and +forsaken, they took him by the hair of the head and drew him down to the +kitchen. Here they began to torment him in the most cruel manner. They +burned sticks in the fire until the end was a live coal, put them into +his hands and closed them, pressing the burning wood into the flesh, and +thus producing the most exquisite pain. At least this would have +been the result if he had realized their cruelty. But I think he was +insensible before they touched him, or if not, must have died very soon +after, for I am sure he was dead when I first saw him. + +I went to them and remonstrated against such inhuman conduct. But one of +the nuns replied, "That man has tormented me more than I can him, if I +do my best, and I wish him to know how good it is." "But," said I, "some +one will come in, and you will be caught in the act." "I'll risk that," +said she, "they are quarreling all over the house, and will have enough +to do to look after each other for a while, I assure you." "But the man +is dead," said I. "How can you treat a senseless corpse in that way?" +"I'm afraid he is dead," she replied, he don't move at all, and I can't +feel his heart beat; but I did hope to make him realize how good the +fire feels." + +Meanwhile, the blood was flowing from the wound in his side, and ran +over the floor. The sight of this alarmed them, and they drew him into +another dark hall, and left him beside the door of a room used for +punishment. They then came back, locked the hall door, and washed up the +blood. They expected to be punished for moving the dead body, but the +floor was dry before any of the priests came in, and I do not think it +was ever known. Perhaps they did not remember events as distinctly as +they might under other circumstances, and it is very possible, that, +when they found the corpse they might not have been able to say whether +it was where they left it, or not. We all rejoiced over the death of +that priest. He was a very cruel man; had punished me times without +number, but, though I was glad he was dead, I could not have touched him +when he lay helpless and insensible. + +A few weeks after the events just related, another trifling occurrence +brought me into collision with the Abbess. And here let me remark that +I have no way, by which to ascertain at what particular time certain +events transpired. The reader will understand that I write this +narrative from memory, and our life at the nunnery was so monotonous, +the days and weeks passed by with such dull, and irksome uniformity, +that sometimes our frequent punishments were the only memorable events +to break in upon the tiresome sameness of our unvarying life. Of course +the most simple thing was regarded by us as a great event, something +worthy of special notice, because, for the time, it diverted our minds +from the peculiar restraints of our disagreeable situation. + +To illustrate this remark let me relate an incident that transpired +about this time. I was one day sent to a part of the house where I was +not in the habit of going. I was passing along a dark hall, when a ray +of light from an open door fell upon my path. I looked up, and as the +door at that moment swung wide open, I saw, before a glass, in a richly +furnished room, the most beautiful woman I ever beheld. From the purity +of her complexion, and the bright color of her cheeks and lips, I could +have taken her for a piece of wax work, but for the fact that she was +carelessly arranging her hair. She was tall, and elegant in person, +with a countenance of such rare and surpassing beauty, I involuntarily +exclaimed, "What a beautiful woman!" She turned towards me with a +smile of angelic sweetness, while an expression of sympathetic emotion +overspread her exquisitely moulded features, which seemed to say as +plainly as though she had spoken in words, "Poor child, I pity you." +I now became conscious that I was breaking the rules of the house, and +hastened away. But O, how many days my soul fed on that smile! I never +saw the lady again, her name I could never know, but that look of +tenderness will never be forgotten. It was something to think of through +many dreary hours, something to look back to, and be grateful for, all +the days of my life. + +But to return to my narrative. The priests had a large quantity of sap +gathered from the maple trees, and brought to the nunnery to be boiled +into sugar. Another nun and myself were left to watch it, keep the +kettle filled up, and prevent it from burning. It was boiled in the +large caldron of which I have before spoken, and covered with a large, +thin, wooden cover. The sap had boiled some time, and become very thick. +I was employed in filling up the kettle when the Abbess came into the +room, and after a few inquiries, directed me to stand upon the cover of +the caldron, and fix a large hook directly over it. I objected, for I +know full well that it would not bear a fourth part of my weight. She +then took hold of me, and tried to force me to step upon it, but I knew +I should be burned to death, for the cover, on account of its enormous +size was made as thin as possible, that we might be able to lift it. +When I saw that she was determined to make me yield, in self defence, +I threw her upon the floor. Would that I had been content to stop +here. But no. When I saw her in my power, and remembered how much I +had suffered from her, my angry passions rose, and I thought only of +revenge. + +I commenced beating her with all my might, and when I stopped from mere +exhaustion, the other nun caught her by the hair and began to draw +her round the room. She struggled and shrieked, but she could not help +herself. Her screams, however, alarmed the house, and hearing one of the +priests coming, the nun gave her a kick and left her. The priest +asked what we were doing, and the Abbess related with all possible +exaggeration, the story of our cruelty. "But what did you do to them?" +asked the priest "You gave them some provocation, or they never would +treat you so." She was then obliged to tell what had passed between us, +and he said she deserved to suffer for giving such an order. "Why," said +he, "that cover would not have held her a moment, and she would most +assuredly have burned to death." He punished us all; the Abbess for +giving the order, and us for abusing her. I should not have done this +thing, had I not come off so well, when I once before attempted to +defend myself; but my success at that time gave me courage to try it +again. My punishment was just, and I bore it very well, consoled by the +thought that justice was awarded to the Abbess, as well as myself. + + + + +CHAPTER XIX. + +SICKNESS AND DEATH OF A SUPERIOR. + +The next excitement in our little community was caused by the sickness +and death of our Superior. I do not know what her disease was, but she +was sick two weeks, and one of the nuns from the kitchen was sent to +take care of her. One night she was so much worse, the nun thought she +would die, and she began to torment her in the most inhuman manner. She +had been severely punished a short time before at the instigation of +this woman, and she then swore revenge if she ever found an opportunity. +Now it was presented. She was in her power, too weak to resist or call +for assistance, and she resolved to let her know by experience how +bitterly she had made others suffer in days gone by. It was a fiendish +spirit, undoubtedly, that prompted her to seek revenge upon the dying, +but what else could we expect? She only followed the example of her +elders, and if she went somewhat beyond their teachings, she had, as we +shall see, her reasons for so doing. With hot irons she burned her on +various parts of her person, cut great gashes in the flesh upon her +face, sides, and arms, and then rubbed salt and pepper into the wounds. +But I will not try to describe it. + +The wretched woman died before morning, and the nun went to the priest +and told him that the Superior was dead, and that she had killed her. +The priests were immediately all called together, and the Bishop called +upon for counsel. He sentenced her to be hung that morning in the chapel +before the assembled household. The Abbess came and informed us what had +taken place, and directed us to get ready and go to the chapel. When we +entered, the doomed girl sat upon a chair on the altar. She was clad +in a white robe, with a white cap on her head, and appeared calm, +self-possessed, and even joyful. The Bishop asked her if she had +anything to say for herself. She immediately rose and said, "I have +killed the Superior, for which I am to be hung. I know that I deserve +to die, but I have suffered more than death many times over, from +punishments inflicted by her order. For many years my life has been one +of continual suffering; and for what? For just nothing at all, or for +the most simple things. Is it right, is it just to starve a person two +whole days for shutting the door a little too hard? or to burn one with +hot irons because a little water was accidentally spilt on the floor? +Yet for these and similar things I have again and again been tortured +within an inch of my life. Now that I am to be hung, I am glad of +it, for I shall die quick, and be out of my misery, instead of being +tortured to death by inches. I did this thing for this very purpose, +for I do not fear death nor anything that comes after it. Talk about +the existence of a God! I don't believe a word of it. And the story of +heaven and hell, purgatory, and the Virgin Mary; why, it's all a humbug, +like the rest of the vile stuff you call religion. Religion indeed! +You wont catch us nuns believing it, and more than all that, you don't +believe it yourselves, not one of you." + +She sat down, and they put a cap over her head and face, drew it tight +around her neck, adjusted the rope, and she was launched into eternity. +To me it seemed a horrid thing, and I could not look upon her dying +struggles. I did not justify the girl in what she had done, yet I knew +that the woman would have died if she had let her alone; and I also knew +that worse things than that were done in the nunnery almost every day, +and that too by the very men who had taken her life. I left the chapel +with a firm resolve to make one more effort to escape from a thraldom +that everyday became more irksome. + +At the door the Abbess met me, and led me to a room I had never seen +before, where, to my great surprise, I found my bed. She said it was +removed by her order, and in future I was to sleep in that room. "What! +sleep here alone?" I exclaimed, quite forgetting, in the agitation of +the moment, the rule of silent obedience. But she did not condescend +to notice either my question or the unpleasant feelings which must have +been visible in my features. I did feel very much troubled. I had never +slept in a room alone a night in my life. Another nun always occupied +the room with me, and when she was absent, as she often was when under +punishment, the Abbess slept there, so that I was never alone. I did +not often meet the girl with whom I slept, as she did not work in the +kitchen, but whenever I did, I felt as pleased as though she had been my +sister. Yet I never spoke to her, nor did she ever attempt to converse +with me. Yes, strange as it may seem, incredible as my reader may think +it, it is a fact, that during all the years we slept together, not one +word ever passed between us. We did not even dare to communicate our +thoughts by signs, lest the Abbess should detect us. + +That night I spent in my new room; but I could not sleep. I had heard +strange hints about some room where no one could sleep, and where no one +liked to go, though for what reason I could never learn. When I first +entered, I discovered that the floor was badly stained, and, while +speculating on the cause of those stains, I came to the conclusion that +this was the room to which so much mystery was attached. It was +very dark, with no window in it, situated in the midst of the house, +surrounded by other rooms, and no means of ventilation except the door. +I did not close my eyes during the whole night. I imagined that the door +opened and shut, that persons were walking in the room, and I am +certain that I heard noises near my bed for which I could not account. +Altogether, it was the most uncomfortable night I ever spent, and +I believe that few persons would have felt entirely at ease in my +situation. + +To such a degree did these superstitious fears assail me, I felt as +though I would endure any amount of physical suffering rather than stay +there another night. Resolved to brave everything, I went to a priest +and asked permission to speak to him. It was an unusual thing, and I +think his curiosity was excited, for it was only in extreme cases that +a nun ventures to appeal to a priest When I told him my story, he seemed +much surprised, and asked by whose order my bed was moved to that room. +I informed him of all the particulars, when he ordered me to move my bed +back again. "No one," said he, "has slept in that room for years, and we +do not wish any one to sleep there." I accordingly moved the bed back, +and as I had permission from the priest, the Abbess dared not find fault +with me. + + + + +CHAPTER XX. + +STUDENTS AT THE ACADEMY. + +Through the winter I continued to work as usual, leading the same dull, +dreary, and monotonous life, varied only by pains, and privations. In +the spring a slight change was made in the household arrangements, and +for a short time I assisted some of the other nuns to do the chamber +work for the students at the academy. There was an under-ground passage +from the convent to the cellar of the academy through which we passed. +Before we entered, the doors and windows were securely fastened, and the +students ordered to leave their rooms, and not return again till we had +left. They were also forbidden to speak to us, but whenever the teachers +were away, they were sure to come back to their rooms, and ask us all +manner of questions. They wished to know, they said, how long we were +going to stay in the convent, if we really enjoyed the life we had +chosen, and were happy in our retirement; if we had not rather return +to the world, go into company, get married, etc. I suppose they really +thought that we could leave at any time if we chose. But we did not dare +to answer their questions, or let them know the truth. + +One day, when we went to do the work, we found in one of the rooms, some +men who were engaged in painting. They asked us if we were contented. +We did not dare to reply, lest they should betray us. They then began to +make remarks about us, some of which I well remember. One of them said, +"I don't believe they are used very well; they look as though they were +half starved." Another replied, "I know they do; there is certainly +something wrong about these convents, or the nuns would not all look so +pale and thin." I suspect the man little thought how much truth there +was in his remarks. + +Soon after the painters left we were all taken suddenly ill. Some were +worse than others, but all were unwell except one nun. As all exhibited +the same symptoms, we were supposed to have taken poison, and suspicion +fastened on that nun. She was put upon the rack, and when she saw that +her guilt could not be concealed, she confessed that she poisoned the +water in the well, but she would not tell what she put into it, nor +where she got it. She said she did not do it to injure the nuns, for she +thought they were allowed so little drink with their food, they would +not be affected by it, while those who drank more, she hoped to kill. +She disliked all the priests, and the Superior, and would gladly have +murdered them all. But for one priest in particular, she felt all the +hatred that a naturally malignant spirit, excited by repeated acts +of cruelty, is capable of. He had punished her repeatedly, and as she +thought, unjustly, and she resolved to avenge herself and destroy her +enemy, even though the innocent should suffer with the guilty. This was +all wrong, fearfully wrong we must admit. But while we look with +horror at the enormity of her crime let us remember that she had great +provocation. I hope there are few who could have sought revenge in the +way she did; yet I cannot believe that any one would endure from another +what she was compelled to suffer from that man, without some feelings of +resentment. Let us not judge too harshly this erring sister, for if +her crime was great, her wrongs were neither small nor few, and her +punishment was terrible. + +They tortured her a long time to make her tell what kind of poison she +put in the well, and where she obtained it. They supposed she must have +got it from the painters, but she would never tell where she procured +it. This fact proves that she had some generous feelings left. Under any +other circumstances such magnanimity would have been highly applauded, +and in my secret soul I could not but admire the firmness with which +she bore her sufferings. She was kept upon the rack until all her joints +were dislocated, and the flesh around them mortified. They then carried +her to her room, removed the bed, and laid her upon the bedcord. The +nuns were all assembled to look at her, and take warning by her sad +fate. Such a picture of misery I never saw before. She seemed to have +suffered even more than the old lady I saw in the cellar. It was but a +moment, however, that we were allowed to gaze upon her shrunken ghastly +features, and then she was hid from our sight forever. The nuns, +except two or three, were sent from the room, and thus the murder was +consummated. What else can we call it? + +There was one young student at the academy whose name was Smalley. He +was from New England, and his father lived at St. Albans, Vt., where he +had wealth and influence. This young man had a little sister who used to +visit at the convent, whom they called Sissy Smalley. She was young, but +handsome, witty and intelligent. For one of her age, she was very much +refined in her manners. They allowed her to go anywhere in the building +except the private apartments where those deeds of darkness were +performed which would not bear the pure light of heaven. I presume that +no argument could convince little Sissy Smalley that such rooms were +actually in the nunnery. She had been all over it, she would tell +you, and she never saw any torture rooms, never heard of any one being +punished, or anything of the kind. Such reports would appear to her as +mere slanders, yet God knows they are true. I well remember how I used +to shudder to hear that child praise the nunnery, tell what a nice, +quiet place it was, and how she would like it for a permanent home. I +hope her brother will find out the truth about it in season to prevent +his beautiful sister from ever becoming a nun. + + + + +CHAPTER XXI. + +SECOND ESCAPE FROM THE NUNNERY. + +It was early in the spring, when I again succeeded in making my escape. +It was on a Saturday evening, when the priests and nearly all the nuns +were In the chapel. I was assisted out of the yard in the same way I was +before, and by the same person. There was still snow upon the ground and +that they might not be able to track me, I entered the market and walked +the whole length of it without attracting observation. From thence I +crossed the street, when I saw a police officer coming directly towards +me. I turned down a dark alley and ran for my life, I knew not whither. +It is the duty of every police officer in Montreal to accompany any of +the sisters whom they chance to meet in the street, and I knew if he saw +me he would offer to attend me wherever I wished to go. Such an offer +might not be refused, and, certainly, his company, just at that time, +was neither desirable nor agreeable. + +At the end of the alley, I found myself near a large church, and two +priests were coming directly towards me. It is said "the drowning catch +at straws." Whether this be true or not, the plan which I adopted in +this emergency seemed as hopeless for my preservation, as a straw for +the support of the drowning. Yet it was the only course I could pursue, +for to escape unseen was impossible. I therefore resolved to go boldly +past them, and try to make them think I was a Superior going to church. +Trying to appear as indifferent as possible, I approached, and saluted +them in the usual way. This is done by throwing forward the open hand, +and passing it down by the side with a slight inclination of the head. +The priest returns the salutation by standing with uncovered head till +you have passed. In the present instance, the priest said, as he removed +his hat, "Church is in, Sister." I bowed again, and hastened on. With +trembling limbs I ascended the Church steps, and stood there till the +priests were out of sight. It was but a moment, yet it seemed a long +time. I knew the house was filled with priests and students, some of +whom would be sure to recognize me at once. What if they should come +out! The thought of it nearly took away my breath. The cold perspiration +started from my brow, and I felt as though I should faint. But my fears +were not realized, and as soon as the priests were out of sight, I went +on again. Soon I came to a cross street, leading to the river, where a +large hotel stood on the corner. I followed the river, and travelled all +night. The next day, fearing to be seen by people going to church, I hid +in a cellar hole, covered over with old boards and timbers. + +At night I went on again, and on Sunday evening about ten o'clock I came +to a small village where I resolved to seek food and lodging. Tired, +hungry and cold, feeling as though I could not take another step, I +called at one of the houses, and asked permission to stay over night. +It was cheerfully granted. The lady gave me some milk, and I retired to +rest. Next morning, I rose early and left before any of the family were +up. I knew they were all Romanists, and I feared to trust them. + +At noon that day I arrived at St. Oars, a town, named, as I have been +informed, for the man who owns a great part of it. I stopped at a public +house, which, they called, "Lady St. Oars," where they were eating +dinner. The landlady invited me to dine with them, and asked if I +belonged to the convent in that place. I told her that I did, for I knew +if I told the truth they would suspect me at once. "Do you eat meat?" +she asked. I told her I did not. "Do you eat butter on your bread?" I +replied in the affirmative, and she gave me a slice of bread and butter, +a piece of cheese and a silver cup full of milk. I ate it all, and would +gladly have eaten more, for I was very hungry. As I was about to leave, +the lady remarked, "There was grease in that cheese, was it a sin for me +to give it to you?" I assured her it was not, for I was allowed to eat +milk, and the cheese being made of milk, there could be no sin in my +eating it I told her that, so far from committing a sin, the blessed +Virgin was pleased with her benevolent spirit, and would, in some way, +reward her for her kindness. + +Leaving Lady St. Oars, I went on to the next town where I arrived at +seven in the evening. I called at the house of a Frenchman, and asked if +I could stay over night, or at least, be allowed to rest awhile. The man +said I was welcome to come in, but he had no place where I could sleep. +They were just sitting down to supper, which consisted of pea soup; +but the lady said there was meat in it, and she would not invite me +to partake of it; but she gave me a good supper of bread and milk. She +thought I was a Sister of Charity, and I did not tell her that I was +not. After supper, she saw that my skirt was stiff with mud, and kindly +offered to wash it out for me, saying, I could rest till it was dry. +I joyfully accepted her offer, and reclining in a corner, enjoyed a +refreshing slumber. + +It was near twelve o'clock before I was ready to go on again, and when +I asked how far it was to the next town, they manifested a great anxiety +for my welfare. The man said it was seven miles to Mt. Bly, but he hoped +I did not intend to walk. I told him I did not know whether I should or +not, perhaps I might ride. "But are you not afraid to go on alone?" he +asked. "St. Dennis is a bad place for a lady to be out alone at night, +and you must pass a grave-yard in the south part of the town; dare you +go by it, in the dark?" I assured him that I had no fear whatever, that +would prevent me from going past the grave-yard. I had never committed +a crime, never injured any one, and I did not think the departed would +come back to harm me. The lady said she would think of me with some +anxiety, for she should not dare to go past that grave-yard alone in the +dark. I again assured her that I had no cause to fear, had no crime on +my conscience, had been guilty of no neglect of duty, and if the living +would let me alone, I did not fear the dead. They thought I referred to +the low characters about town, and the lady replied, "I shall tell my +beads for you and the holy Virgin will protect you from all harm. But +remember," she continued, "whenever you pass this way, you will always +find a cordial welcome with us." I thanked her, and with a warm grasp of +the hand we parted. + + + + +CHAPTER XXII. + +LONELY MIDNIGHT WALK. + +It was near morning when I entered Mt. Bly, but I did not stop. I +traveled all night, and late in the morning came to a respectable +looking farmhouse which I thought might be occupied by Protestants. I +always noticed that their houses were neater, and more comfortable than +those of the Romanists in the same condition in life. In the present +instance I was not disappointed in my expectations. The lady received me +kindly, gave me some breakfast, and directed me to the next village. I +walked all day, and near night arrived at St. Mary's, where I called at +a house, and asked permission to sit and rest awhile. They gave me an +invitation to enter, but did not offer refreshments. I did not like +to ask for charity if I could avoid it, and I thought it possible they +might ask me to stay over night. But they did not, and after a half +hour's rest I rose to depart, and thanking them for their kindness +inquired how far it was to the next house. They said it was seven miles +to the first house, and nine to the next village. + +With a sad heart, I once more pursued my lonely way. Soon it began to +rain, and the night came on, dark and dismal, cold and stormy, with +a high wind that drove the rain against my face with pitiless fury. +I entered a thick wood where no ray of light could penetrate, and at +almost every step, I sank over shoes in the mud. Thus I wandered on, +reflecting bitterly on my wretched fate. All the superstitious fears, +which a convent life is so well calculated to produce, again assailed +me, and I was frightened at my own wild imaginings. I thought of the +nuns who had been murdered so cruelly, and I listened to the voice of +the storm, as to the despairing wail of a lost soul. The wind swept +fiercely through the leafless branches, now roaring like a tornado, +again rising to a shrill shriek, or a prolonged whistle, then sinking to +a hollow murmer, and dying away in a low sob which sounded to my excited +fancy like the last convulsive sigh of a breaking heart. Once and again +I paused, faint and dizzy with hunger and fatigue, feeling as though +I could go no further. But there was no alternative. I must go on or +perish. And go on I did, though, as I now look back upon that night's +experience, I wonder how I managed to do so. But a kind providence, +undoubtedly, watched over me, and good angels guided me on my way. Some +time in the night, I think it must have been past twelve o'clock, I +became so very weary I felt that I must rest awhile at all events. It +was so dark I could not see a step before me, but I groped my way to a +fence, seated myself on a stone with my head resting against the rails, +and in that position I fell asleep. + +How long I slept, I do not know. I think it must have been some hours. +When I awoke, my clothes were drenched with rain, and I was so stiff and +lame, I could hardly move. But go I must, so I resolved to make the +best of it, and hobble along as well as I could. At last I reached the +village, but it was not yet morning, and I dared not stop. I kept on +till daylight, and as soon as I thought people were up, I went up to +a house and rapped. A woman came to the door, and I asked if she would +allow me to go in, and dry my clothes, and I would have added, get some +breakfast, but her looks restrained me. They were getting breakfast, but +did not invite me to partake of it, and I dared not ask for anything to +eat. When my clothes were dry, I thanked them for the use of their fire, +and inquired how far it was to the next village. They said the next town +was Highgate, but they did not know the distance. + +My tears flowed freely when I again found myself in the street, cold, +hungry, almost sick, and entirely friendless. What should I do? What +would become of me? One thought alone gave courage to my desponding +heart, buoyed up my sinking spirits, and restored strength to my weary +limbs. I was striving for liberty, that priceless boon, so dear to every +human heart. I might, perhaps, obtain it. At least, I would try. + +Nerved to renewed effort by thoughts like these, I toiled onward. All +that day I walked without a particle of nourishment. When I reached +Highgate, it was eleven o'clock at night, but in one house I saw a +light, and I ventured to rap at the door. It was opened by a pale, but +pleasant looking woman. "Kind lady," said I, "will you please tell me +how far it is to the States?" "To the States!" she exclaimed, and in a +moment she seemed to understand both my character and situation. "You +are now in Vermont State," said she, "but come in child, you look sad +and weary." I at once accepted her offer, and when she asked how far I +was traveling, and how I came to be out so late, I did not hesitate +to reveal to her my secret, for I was sure she could be trusted. +She invited me to spend the remainder of the night, and gave me some +refreshment. She was nursing a sick woman, which accounted for her being +up so late, but did not prevent her from attending to all my wants, and +making me as comfortable as possible. When she saw that my feet were +wounded, badly swollen, and covered with blood and dirt, she procured +warm water, and with her own hands bathed, and made them clean, with the +best toilet soap. She expressed great sympathy for the sad condition my +feet were in, and asked if I had no shoes? I told her that my shoes were +made of cloth, and soon wore out; that what was left of them, I lost in +the mud, when traveling through the woods in the dark. She then procured +a pair of nice woollen stockings, and a pair of new shoes, some under +clothes, and a good flannel skirt, which she begged me to wear for her +sake. I accepted them gratefully, but the shoes I could not wear, my +feet were so sore. She said I could take them with me, and she gave me +a pair of Indian moccasins to wear till my feet were healed. Angel of +mercy that she was; may God's blessing rest upon her for her kindness to +the friendless wanderer. + +The next morning the good lady urged me to stay with her, at least, for +a time, and said I should be welcome to a home there for the rest of my +life. Grateful as I was for her offer, I was forced to decline it, for +I knew that I could not remain so near Montreal in safety. She said the +"select men" of the town would protect me, if they were made acquainted +with my peculiar situation. Dear lady! she little knew the character +of a Romish priest! Her guileless heart did not suspect the cunning +artifice by which they accomplish whatever they undertake. And those +worthy "select men," I imagine, were not much better informed than +herself. Sure I am, that any protection they could offer me, would +not, in the least degree, shield me from the secret intrigue, the +affectionate, maternal embrace of holy Mother Church. + +When she found that, notwithstanding all her offers, I was resolved to +go, she put into a basket, a change of clothing, the shoes she had given +me, and a good supply of food which she gave me for future use. But the +most acceptable part of her present was a sun-bonnet; for thus far I had +nothing on my head but the cap I wore in the convent. She gave me some +money, and bade me go to Swanton, and there, she said, I could take the +cars. I accordingly bade her farewell, and, basket in hand, directed my +steps toward the depot some seven miles distant, as I was informed; but +I thought it a long seven miles, as I passed over it with my sore feet, +the blood starting at every step. + +On my arrival at the depot, a man came to me, and asked where I wished +to go. I told him I wished to go as far into the State as my money would +carry me. He procured me a ticket, and said it would take me to St. +Albans. He asked me where I came from, but I begged to be excused from +answering questions. He then conducted me to the ladies room, and left +me, saying the cars would be along in about an hour. + +In this room, several ladies were waiting to take the cars. As I walked +across the room, one of them said, in a tone that grated harshly on my +feelings, "Your skirt is below your dress." I did not feel very good +natured, and instead of saying "thank you," as I should have done, I +replied in the most impudent manner, "Well, it is clean, if it is in +sight." The lady said no more, and I sat down upon a sofa and fell +asleep. As I awoke, one of the ladies said, "I wonder who that poor girl +is!" I was bewildered, and, for the moment, could not think where I was, +but I thought I must make some reply, and rousing myself I turned to +her, and said, "I am a nun, if you wish to know, and I have just escaped +from a convent." She gave me a searching look, and said, "Well, I must +confess you do look like one. I often visit in Montreal where I see a +great many of them, and they always look poor and pale. Will you allow +me to ask you a few questions?" By this time, I was wide awake, +and realized perfectly where I was, and the folly of making such an +imprudent disclosure. I would have given much to recall those few words, +for I had a kind of presentiment that they would bring me trouble. I +begged to be excused from answering any questions, as I was almost crazy +with thinking of the past and did not wish to speak of it. + +The lady said no more for some time, but she kept her eye upon me, in +a way that I did not like; and I began to consider whether I had better +wait for the cars, or start on foot. I was sorry for my imprudence, but +it could not be helped now, and I must do the best I could to avoid the +unpleasant consequences which might result from it. I had just made up +my mind to go on, when I heard in the far distance, the shrill whistle +of the approaching train; that train which I fondly hoped would bear me +far away from danger, and onward to the goal of my desires. + +At this moment, the lady crossed the room, and seating herself by my +side, asked, "Would you not like to go and live with me? I have one +waiting maid now, but I wish for another, and if you will go, I will +take you and give you good wages. Your work will not be hard; will you +go?" "Where do you go?" I asked. "To Montreal," she replied. "Then I +shall not go with you," said I. "No money could induce me to return +there again." "Ah!" said she, with a peculiar smile, "I see how it is, +but you need not fear to trust me. I will protect you, and never +suffer you to be taken back to the convent." I saw that I had made +unconsciously another imprudent revelation, and resolved to say no more. +I was about to leave her, but she drew me back saying, "I will give you +some of my clothes, and I can make them fit you so well that no one will +ever recognize you. I shall have plenty of time to alter them if they +require it, for the train that I go in, will not be along for about +three hours; you can help me, and in that time we will get you nicely +fixed." + +I could hardly repress a smile when I saw how earnest she was, and I +thought it a great pity that a plan so nicely laid out should be so +suddenly deranged, but I could not listen to her flatteries. I suspected +that she was herself in the employ of the priests, and merely wished to +get me back that she might betray me. She had the appearance of being +very wealthy, was richly clad, wore a gold watch, chain, bracelets, +breastpin, ear rings, and many finger rings, all of the finest gold. But +with all her wealth and kind offers, I dare not trust her. I thought she +looked annoyed when I refused to go with her, but when I rose to go +to the cars, a look of angry impatience stole over, her fine features, +which convinced me that I had escaped a snare. + +The cars came at length, and I was soon on my way to St. Albans. I was +very sick, and asked a gentleman near me to raise the windows. He did +so, and inquired how far I was going. I informed him, when he remarked +that he was somewhat acquainted in St. Albans, and asked with whom I +designed to stop. I told him I had no friends or acquaintance in the +place, but I hoped to get employment in some protestant family. He said +he could direct me to some gentlemen who would, he thought, assist me. +One in particular, he mentioned as being a very wealthy man, and kept a +number of servants; perhaps he would employ me. + +This gentleman's name was Branard, and my informant spoke so highly of +the family, I immediately sought them out on leaving the cars, and was +at once employed by Mrs. Branard, as a seamstress. Here I found a quiet, +happy home. Mrs. Branard was a kind sympathizing woman, and to her, I +confided the history of my convent life. She would not allow me to work +hard, for she saw that my nerves were easily excited. She made me sit +with her in her own room a great part of the time, and did not wish me +to go out alone. They had several boarders in the family, and one +of them was a brother-in-law [Footnote: This gentleman was Mr. Z. K. +Pangborn, late editor of the Worcester Daily Transcript. Both Mr. and +Mrs. Pangborn give their testimony of the truth of this statement.] to +Mrs. Branard. His name I have forgotten; it was not a common name, but +he married Mrs. Branard's sister, and with his wife resided there all +the time that I was with them. Mr. Branard was away from home most of +the time, so that I saw but little of him. They had an Irish girl in the +kitchen, named Betsy. She was a kind, pleasant girl, and she thought me +a strict Romanist because I said my prayers so often, and wore the Holy +Scapulary round my neck. This Scapulary is a band with a cross on one +side, and on the other, the letters "J. H. S." which signify, "Jesus The +Savior of Man." + +At this place I professed great regard for the Church of Rome, and no +one but Mrs. Branard was acquainted with my real character and history. +When they asked my name, I told them they could call me Margaret, but it +was an assumed name. My own, for reasons known only by myself, I did +not choose to reveal. I supposed, of course, they would regard me with +suspicion for a while, but I saw nothing of the kind. They treated me +with great respect, and no questions were ever asked. Perhaps I did +wrong in changing my name, but I felt that I was justified in using any +means to preserve my liberty. + + + + +CHAPTER XXIII. + +FLIGHT AND RECAPTURE. + +Four happy weeks I enjoyed unalloyed satisfaction in the bosom of this +charming family. It was a new thing for me to feel at home, contented, +and undisturbed; to have every one around me treat me with kindness and +even affection. I sometimes feared it was too good to last. Mrs. Branard +in particular, I shall ever remember with grateful and affectionate +regard. She was more like a mother to me, than a mistress, and I shall +ever look back to the time I spent with her, as a bright spot in the +otherwise barren desert of my life. Better, far better would it have +been for me had I never left her. But I became alarmed, and thought the +convent people were after me. It was no idle whim, no imaginary terror. +I had good cause to fear, for I had several times seen a priest go +past, and gaze attentively at the house. I knew him at the first glance, +having often seen him in Montreal. + +Then my heart told me that they had traced me to this place, and +were now watching a chance to get hold of me. Imagine, if you can, my +feelings. Had I suffered so much in vain? Would they be allowed to take +me back to those fearful cells, where no ray of mercy could ever reach +me? I could not endure the thought. Frightened, and almost beside +myself, I resolved to make an effort to find a more secure place. I +therefore left those kind friends in the darkness of night, without one +word of farewell, and without their knowledge. I knew they would not +allow me to go, if they were apprised of my design. In all probability, +they would have ridiculed my fears, and bade me rest in peace. How could +I expect them to comprehend my danger, when they knew so little of the +machination of my foes? I intended to go further into the state, but +did not wish to have any one know which way I had gone. It was a sad +mistake, but how often in this world do we plunge into danger when we +seek to avoid it! How often fancy ourselves in security when we stand +upon the very brink of ruin! + +I left Mr. Branard's in the evening, and called upon a family in the +neighborhood whose acquaintance I had made, and whom I wished to see +once more, though I dared not say farewell. I left them between the +hours of nine and ten, and set forward on my perilous journey. I had +gone but a short distance when I heard the sound of wheels and the heavy +tread of horses' feet behind me. My heart beat with such violence it +almost stopped my breath, for I felt that they were after me. But there +was no escape--no forest or shelter near where I could seek protection. +On came the furious beasts, driven by no gentle hand. They came up with +me, and I almost began to hope that my fears were groundless, when the +horses suddenly stopped, a strong hand grasped me, a gag was thrust into +my mouth, and again the well-known box was taken from the wagon. Another +moment and I was securely caged, and on my way back to Montreal. Two men +were in the wagon and two rode on horseback beside it. Four men to guard +one poor nun! + +They drove to Mt. Bly, where they stopped to change horses, and the two +men on horseback remained there, while the other two mounted the wagon +and drove to Sorel. Here the box was taken out and carried on board a +boat, where two priests were waiting for me. When the boat started, they +took me out for the first time after I was put into it at St. Albans. +Three days we had been on the way, and I had tasted neither food nor +drink. How little did I think when I took my tea at Mr. Branard's the +night I left that it was the last refreshment I would have for SEVEN +DAYS; yet such was the fact. And how little did they think, as they lay +in their quiet beds that night, that the poor fugitive they had taken to +their home was fleeing for life, or for that which, to her, was better +than life. Yet so it was. Bitterly did I reproach myself for leaving +those kind friends as I did, for I thought perhaps if I had remained +there, they would not have dared to touch me. Such were my feelings +then; but as I now look back, I can see that it would have made little +difference whether I left or remained. They were bound to get me, at all +events, and if I had stopped there until they despaired of catching me +secretly, they would undoubtedly have come with an officer, and accused +me of some crime, as a pretext for taking me away. Then, had any one +been so far interested for me as to insist on my having a fair trial, +how easy for them to produce witnesses enough to condemn me! Those +priests have many ways to accomplish their designs. The American people +don't know them yet; God grant they never may. + +On my arrival at the nunnery I was taken down the coal grate, and +fastened to an iron ring in the back part of a cell. The Archbishop then +came down and read my punishment. Notwithstanding the bitter grief that +oppressed my spirit, I could not repress a smile of contempt as the +great man entered my cell. I remembered that before I ran away, my +punishments were assigned by a priest, but the first time I fled from +them a Bishop condescended to read my sentence, and now his honor the +Archbishop graciously deigned to illume my dismal cell with the light of +his countenance, and his own august lips pronounced the words of doom. +Was I rising in their esteem, or did they think to frighten me into +obedience by the grandeur of his majestic mien? + +Such were my thoughts as this illustrious personage proceeded slowly, +and with suitable dignity, to unroll the document that would decide my +fate. What would it be? Death? It might be for aught I knew, or cared +to know. I had by this time become perfectly reckless, and the whole +proceeding seemed so ridiculous, I found it exceedingly difficult to +maintain a demeanor sufficiently solemn for the occasion. But when +the fixed decree came forth, when the sentence fell upon my ear that +condemned me to SEVEN DAYS' STARVATION, it sobered me at once. Yet even +then the feeling of indignation was so strong within me, I could not +hold my peace. I would speak to that man, if he killed me for it. +Looking him full in the face (which, by the way, I knew was considered +by him a great crime), I asked, "Do you ever expect to die?" I did not, +of course, expect an answer, but he replied, with a smile, "Yes; but +you will die first." He then asked how long I had fasted, and I replied, +"Three days." He said, "You will fast four days more, and you will be +punished every day until next December, when you will take the black +veil." As he was leaving the room, he remarked, "We do not usually have +the nuns take the black veil until they are twenty-one; but you have +such good luck in getting away, we mean to put you where you can't do +it." And with this consoling thought he left me--left me in darkness and +despair, to combat, as best I could, the horrors of starvation. This +was in the early part of winter, and only about a year would transpire +before I entered that retreat from which none ever returned. And then to +be punished every day for a year! What a prospect! The priest came every +morning, with his dark lantern, to look at me; but he never spoke. On +the second day after my return, I told him if he would bring me a little +piece of bread, I would never attempt to run away again, but would serve +him faithfully the rest of my life. Had he given it to me, I would have +faithfully kept my word; but he did not notice me, and closing the door, +he left me once more to pass through all the agonies of starvation. +I remember nothing after that day. Whether I remained in the cell the +other two days, or was taken out before the time expired, I do not know. +This much, however, I do know, as a general rule a nun's punishment is +never remitted. If she lives, it is well; if she dies, no matter; there +are enough more, and no one will ever call them to an account for the +murder. + +But methinks I hear the reader ask, "Did they not fear the judgment of +God and a future retribution?" In reply I can only state what I believe +to be the fact. It is my firm belief that not more than one priest in +ten thousand really believes in the truth of Christianity, or even in +the existence of a God. They are all Infidels or Atheists; and how can +they be otherwise? It is the legitimate fruit of that system of deceit +which they call religion. Of course I only give this as my opinion, +founded on what I have seen and heard. You can take it, reader, for what +it is worth; believe it or not, just us you please; but I assure you I +have often heard the nuns say that they did not believe in any religion. +The professions of holiness of heart and parity of life so often made +by the priests they KNOW to be nothing but a hypocritical pretence, and +their ceremonies they regard as a ridiculous farce. + +For some time after I was taken from the cell I lay in a state of +partial unconsciousness, but how long, I do not know. I have no +recollection of being taken up stairs, but I found myself on my bed, in +my old room, and on the stand beside me were several cups, vials, etc. +The Abbess who sat beside me, occasionally gave me a tea-spoonful +of wine or brandy, and tried to make me eat. Ere long, my appetite +returned, but it was several weeks before my stomach was strong enough +to enable me to satisfy in any degree, the cravings of hunger. When I +could eat, I gained very fast, and the Abbess left me in the care of +a nun, who came in occasionally to see if I wanted anything. This nun +often stopped to talk with me, when she thought no one was near, and +expressed great curiosity to know what I saw in the world; if people +were kind to me, and if I did not mean to get away again, if possible, I +told her I should not; but she replied, "I don't believe that. You will +try again, and you will succeed yet, if you keep up good courage. You +are so good to work, they do not wish to part with you, and that is one +reason why they try so hard to get you back again. But never mind, +they won't get you next time." I assured her I should not try to escape +again, for they were sure to catch me, and as they had almost killed me +this time, they would quite the next. I did not dare to trust her, for I +supposed the Superior had given her orders to question me. + +I was still weak, so weak that I could hardly walk when they obliged me +to go into the kitchen to clean vegetables and do other light work, and +as soon as I had sufficient strength, to milk the cows, and take the +care of the milk. They punished me every day, in accordance with the +Bishop's order, and sometimes, I thought, more than he intended. I wore +thorns on my head, and peas in my shoes, was whipped and pinched, burnt +with hot irons, and made to crawl through the underground passage I +have before described. In short, I was tortured and punished in every +possible way, until I was weary of my life. Still they were careful not +to go so far as to disable me from work. They did not care how much I +suffered, if I only performed my daily task. + +There was an underground passage leading from the nunnery to a place +which they called, "Providence," in the south part of the city. I do not +know whether it is a school, or a convent, or what it is, but I think it +must be some distance, from what I heard said about it. The priest often +spoke of sending me there, but for some reason, he did not make me +go. Still the frequent reference to what I so much dreaded, kept me +in constant apprehension and alarm. I have heard the priest say that +underground passages extended from the convent in every direction, for +a distance of five miles; and I have reason to believe the statement is +true. But these reasons I may not attempt to give. There are things that +may not even be alluded to, and if it were possible to speak of them, +who would believe the story? + + + + +CHAPTER XXIV. + +RESOLVES TO ESCAPE. + +As summer approached, I expected to be sent to the farm again, but for +some reason I was still employed in the kitchen. Yet I could not keep +my mind upon my work. The one great object of my life; the subject that +continually pressed upon my mind was the momentous question, how shall +I escape? The dreaded December was rapidly approaching. To some it +would bring a joyous festival, but to me, the black veil and a life long +imprisonment. Once within those dreary walls, and I might as well hope +to escape from the grave. Such are the arrangements, there is no chance +for a nun to escape unless she is promoted to the office of Abbess or +Superior. Of course, but few of them can hope for this, especially, +if they are not contented; and certainly, in my case there was not the +least reason to expect anything of the kind. Knowing these facts, with +the horrors of the Secret Cloister ever before me, I felt some days as +though on the verge of madness. Before the nuns take the black veil, and +enter this tomb for the living, they are put into a room by themselves, +called the forbidden closet, where they spend six months in studying the +Black Book. Perchance, the reader will remember that when I first +came to this nunnery, I was taken by the door-tender to this forbidden +closet, and permitted to look in upon the wretched inmates. From that +time I always had the greatest horror of that room. I was never allowed +to enter it, and in fact never wished to do so, but I have heard the +most agonizing groans from those within, and sometimes I have heard them +laugh. Not a natural, hearty laugh, however, such as we hear from the +gay and happy, but a strange, terrible, sound which I cannot describe, +and which sent a thrill of terror through my frame, and seemed to chill +the very blood in my veins. + +I have heard the priests say, when conversing with each other, while I +was tidying their room, that many of these nuns lose their reason while +studying the Black Book. I can well believe this, for never in my +life did I ever witness an expression of such unspeakable, unmitigated +anguish, such helpless and utter despair as I saw upon the faces of +those nuns. And well they may despair. Kept under lock and key, their +windows barred, and no air admitted to the room except what comes +through the iron grate of their windows from other apartments; compelled +to study, I know not what; with no hope of the least mitigation of their +sufferings, or relaxation of the stringent rules that bind them; no +prospect before them but a life-long imprisonment; what have they to +hope for? Surely, death and the grave are the only things to which they +can look forward with the least degree of satisfaction. + +Those nuns selected for this Secret Cloister are generally the fairest, +the most beautiful of the whole number. I used to see them in the +chapel, and some of them were very handsome. They dressed like the other +nuns, and always looked sad and broken hearted, but were not pale +and thin like the rest of us. I am sure they were not kept upon short +allowance as the others were, and starvation was not one of their +punishments, whatever else they might endure. The plain looking girls +were always selected to work in the kitchen, and do the drudgery about +the house. How often have I thanked God for my plain face! But for that, +I might not have been kept in the kitchen so long, and thus found means +to escape which I certainly could not have found elsewhere. + +With all my watching, and planning I did not find an opportunity to get +away till June. I then, succeeded in getting outside the convent yard +one evening between eight and nine o'clock. How I got there, is a secret +I shall never reveal. A few yards from the gate I was stopped by one of +the guard at the Barrack, who asked where I was going. "To visit a sick +woman," I promptly replied, and he let me pass. Soon after this, before +my heart ceased to flutter, I thought I heard some one running after +me. My resolution was at once taken. I would never be caught and carried +back alive. My fate was at last, I thought, in my own hands. Better die +at once than to be chained like a guilty criminal, and suffer as I had +done before. Blame me not gentle reader, when I tell you that I stood +upon the bank of the river with exultant joy; and, as I pursued my +way along the tow-path, ready to spring into the water on the first +indication of danger, I rejoiced over the disappointment of my pursuers +in losing a servant who had done them so good service. At a little +distance I saw a ferry boat, but when I asked the captain to carry me +over the river, he refused. He was, probably, afraid of the police and +a fine, for no one can assist a run-away nun with impunity, if caught in +the act. He directed me, however, to the owner of the boat, who said I +could go if the captain was willing to carry me. I knew very well that +he would not, and I took my place in the boat as though I had a perfect +right to it. + +We were almost across the river, when the captain saw me, and gave +orders to turn back the boat, and leave me on the shore from whence we +started. From his appearance I thought we were pursued, and I was not +mistaken. Five priests were following us in another boat, and they too, +turned back, and reached the shore almost as soon as we did. I left the +boat and ran for my life. I was now sure that I was pursued; there could +be no doubt of that, for the sound of footsteps behind me came distinct +to my ear. At a little distance stood a small, white house. Could I not +reach it? Would not the people protect me? The thought gave me courage, +and I renewed my efforts. Nearer came the footsteps, but I reached the +house, and without knocking, or asking permission, I sprang through the +door. + +The people were in bed, in another room, but a man looked out, and +asked what I wanted. "I'm a nun," said I. "I've run away from the Grey +Nunnery, and they're after me. Hide me, O hide me, and God will bless +you!" As I spoke he put out his hand and opened the cellar door. "Here," +said he, "run down cellar, I'll be with you in a moment." I obeyed, and +he struck a light and followed. Pointing to a place where he kept ashes, +he said hastily, "Crawl in there." There was not a moment to lose, for +before he had covered up my hiding place, a loud knock was heard upon +the front door. Having extinguished his light, he ran up stairs, and +opened the door with the appearance of having just left his bed. "Who is +here?" he asked, "and what do you want this time of night?" One of +them replied, "We are in search of a nun, and are very sure she came in +here?" "Well gentlemen," said he, "walk in, and see for yourselves. +If she is here, you are at liberty to find her." Lighting a candle, he +proceeded to guide them over the house, which they searched until they +were satisfied. They then came down cellar, and I gave up all hope of +escape. Still, I resolved never to be taken alive. I could strangle +myself, and I would do it, rather than suffer as I did before. At that +moment I could truly say with the inspired penman, with whose language +I have since become familiar, "my soul chooseth strangling and death +rather than life." + +They looked all around me, and even into the place where I lay +concealed, but they did not find me. At length I heard them depart, +and so great was my joy, I could hardly restrain my feelings within the +bounds of decorum. I felt as though I must dance and sing, shout +aloud or leap for joy at my great deliverance. I am sure I should have +committed some extravagant act had not the gentleman at that moment +called me up, and told me that my danger was by no means past. This +information so dashed my cup of bliss that I was able to drink it +quietly. + +He gave me some refreshment, and as soon as safety would permit, saddled +his horse, and taking me on behind him, carried me six miles to another +boat, put me on board, and paid the captain three dollars to carry me +to Laprairie. On leaving me, he gave me twenty-five cents, and said, +"you'll be caught if you go with the other passengers." The captain said +he could hide me and no one know that I was on board, but himself. He +led me to the end of the boat, and put me upon a board over the horses. +He fixed a strong cord for me to hold on by, and said, "you must be +careful and not fall down, for the horses would certainly kill you +before you could be taken out." The captain was very kind to me and when +I left him, gave me twenty-five cents, and some good advice. He said +I must hurry along as fast as possible, for it was Jubilee, and the +priests would all be in church at four o'clock. He also advised me not +to stop in any place where a Romish priest resided, "for," said he, +"the convent people have, undoubtedly, telegraphed all over the country +giving a minute description of your person, and the priests will all be +looking for you." + +Two days I travelled as fast as my strength would allow, when I came +to Sorel, which was on the other side of the river. Here I saw several +priests on the road coming directly towards me. That they were after me, +I had not a doubt. Whither should I flee? To escape by running, was out +of the question, but just at that moment my eye fell upon a boat near +the shore. I ran to the captain, and asked him to take me across the +river. He consented, and, as I expected, the priests took another boat +and followed us. Once more I gave myself up for lost, and prepared +to spring into the water, if they were likely to overtake me. The man +understood my feelings, and exerted all his strength to urge forward +the boat. At last it reached the shore, and as he helped me out he +whispered, "Now run." I did run, but though my own liberty was at +stake I could not help thinking about the consequences to that man if +I escaped, for I knew they would make him pay a heavy fine for his +benevolent act. A large house stood in my way, and throwing open the +door I exclaimed, "Are there any protestants here?" "O, yes," replied +a man who sat there, "come with me." He led me to the kitchen, where a +large company of Irish men were rolling little balls on a table. I saw +the men were Irish and my first thought was, "I am betrayed." + +But my fears were soon relieved, for the man exclaimed, "Here is a +nun, inquiring for protestants." "Well," replied one who seemed to be +a leader, "this is the right place to find them. We are all true Orange +men." And then they all began to shout, "Down with the Catholics! Down +with the Pope! Death to the Jesuits! etc." I was frightened at their +violence, but their leader came to me, and with the kindness of a +brother, said, "Do not fear us. If you are a run-away, we will protect +you." He bade the men be still and asked if any one was after me. I told +him about the priests, and he replied, "you have come to the right place +for protection, for they dare not show themselves here. I am the leader +of a band of Anti-Catholics, and this is their lodge. You have heard of +us, I presume; we are called Orange men. Our object is, to overthrow the +Roman Catholic religion, and we are bound by the most fearful oaths to +stand by each other, and protect all who seek our aid. The priests dread +our influence, for we have many members, and I hope ere long, the power +of the Pope in this country will be at an end. I am sure people must see +what a cruel, hypocritical set they are." + +Before he had done speaking, a man came to the door and said, "The +carriage is ready." Another of the men, on hearing this, said, "Come +with me, and I'll take you out of the reach of the priests." He +conducted me to a carriage, which was covered and the curtains all +fastened down. He helped me into it, directing me to sit upon the back +seat, where I could not be seen by any one unless they took particular +pains. He drove to St. Oars that night, and, if I remember right, +he said the distance was twelve miles. When, he left me he gave me +twenty-five cents. I travelled all night, and about midnight passed +through St. Dennis, But I did not stop until the next morning, when I +called at a house and asked for something to eat. The lady gave me some +bread and milk, and I again pursued my way. + + + + +CHAPTER XXV. + +EVENTFUL JOURNEY. + +Once more I had the good fortune to obtain a passage across the river in +a ferry-boat, and was soon pressing onward upon the other side. Passing +through two places called St. Mary's and St. John's, I followed the +railroad to a village which I was informed was called Stotsville, +[Footnote: I beg leave once more to remind the reader that it is by +no means certain that I give these names correctly. Hearing them +pronounced, with no idea of ever referring to them again, it is not +strange that mistakes of this kind should occur.] a great part of the +property being owned by a Mr. Stots, to whom I was at once directed. +Here I stopped, and was kindly received by the gentleman and his wife. +They offered me refreshments, gave me some articles of clothing, and +then he carried me twelve miles, and left me at Rouse's Point, to take +the cars for Albany. He gave me six dollars to pay my expenses, and a +letter of introduction to a gentleman by the name of Williams, in which +he stated all the facts he knew concerning me, and commended me to his +care for protection. I think he said Mr. Williams lived on North +Pearl street, but I may be mistaken in this and also in some other +particulars. As I had no thought of relating these facts at the time of +their occurrence, I did not fix them in my mind as I otherwise should +have done. + +Mr. Stots said that if I could not find the gentleman to whom the letter +was directed, I was to take it to the city authorities, and they would +protect me. As he assisted me from the carriage he said, "You will stop +here until the cars come along, and you must get your own ticket. I +shall not notice you again, and I do not wish you to speak to me." I +entered the depot intending to follow his directions; but when I found +the cars would not come along for three hours, I did not dare to stay. +There was quite a large collection of people there, and I feared that +some one would suspect and stop me. I therefore resolved to follow the +railroad, and walk on to the next station. On my way I passed over a +railroad bridge, which I should think was two miles long. The wind blew +very hard at the time, and I found it exceedingly difficult to walk +upon the narrow timbers. More than once I came near losing my precarious +footing, and I was in constant fear that the train would overtake me +before I got over. In that case I had resolved to step outside the track +where I thought I could stand upon the edge of the bridge and hold on +by the telegraph poles, and thus let them pass without doing me injury. +Happily, however, I was not compelled to resort to this perilous +expedient, but passed the bridge in safety. At the end I found another +nearly as long, connected with it by a drawbridge. When I drew near it +was up for a boat to pass; but a man called to me, and asked if I +wish to go over. I told him I did, and he let down the bridge. As I +approached him he asked, "Are you mad? or how came you here?" I told +him I had walked from the depot at Rouse's Point. He appeared greatly +surprised, and said, "You are the first person who ever walked over +that bridge. Will you come to my house and rest awhile? You must be very +weary, and my wife will be glad to see you. She is rather lonely +here, and is pleased to see any one. Will you come? 'Tis only a short +distance, just down under the bridge." Those last words decided me. I +thanked him, but firmly refused to go one step out of my way. I thought +that he wished to deceive me, perhaps take me to some out-of-the-way +place, and give me up to my pursuers. At all events, it was wise not to +trust him, for I was sure there was no house near the bridge, certainly +not under it. I have since learned that such is the fact. As I turned to +leave him, he again urged me to stop, and said, "The cars will soon be +along, and they will run over you. How do you expect to get out of their +way?" I told him I would risk it, and left him. I passed on in safety, +and soon came to the depot, where I took the evening train for Albany. +At eight the same evening I left the cars, and walked on towards Troy, +which I think was four miles distant. Here I met a lad, of whom I +inquired the way to Albany. "You cannot get there to-night," said he, +"and I advise you not to try." When he saw that I was determined to go +on, he said I would pass a tavern called the half-way house, and if I +was tired I could stop there. It was about eleven o'clock when I passed +this house, There were several persons on the piazza, laughing, talking, +and singing, who called me as I passed, shouted after me, and bade me +stop. Exceedingly frightened, I ran with all possible speed, but they +continued to call after me till I was out of hearing. Seeing a light +at a house near by, I ventured to rap on the door. It was opened by a +woman, who asked me to walk in. I inquired the distance to Albany. She +informed me, but said, "You can't go there to-night." I told her I must, +"Well," said she, "if you will go, the watch will take care of you when +you get there." She then asked, "Were those men calling after you?" I +told her I supposed they were, when she replied, with a peculiar smile, +"I guess you can't be a very nice kind of girl, or you wouldn't be on +the street this time of night." My feelings were so deeply wounded I +could hardly restrain my tears at this cruel insinuation; but pride came +to my aid, and, choking down the rising emotion, I replied as carelessly +as possible, "I must do as I can, and not as I would." + +It was about one o'clock at night when I entered the principal street in +Albany, and, as the lady predicted, a watchman came to me and asked why +I was out that time of night. I gave him Mr. Stot's letter. He stood +beside a lamp-post and read it, when he seemed satisfied, and said, "I +know the man; come with me and I'll take you to his house." I followed +him a long way, till at last he stopped before a large house, and rang +the bell. Mr. Williams came to the door, and asked what was wanted. The +watchman gave him the letter. He read it, and invited me to stop. His +wife got up, received me very kindly, and gave me some supper, for +which I was truly grateful. Nor was I less thankful for the delicate +consideration with which they avoided any allusion to my convent life, +or my subsequent flight and suffering. Mrs. Williams saw that I was sad +and weary, and as she conducted me to a comfortable bed, she remarked, +"You are safe at last, and I am glad of it. You can now retire without +the apprehension of danger, and sleep in perfect security. You are with +friends who will protect you as long as you choose to remain with us." + +Notwithstanding the good lady's assurance of safety, I found it +impossible to close my eyes. I was among strangers, in a strange place, +and, having been so often deceived, might I not be again? Perhaps, after +all their pretended kindness, they were plotting to betray me. A few +days, however, convinced me that I had at last found real friends, who +would protect me in the hour of danger to the utmost of their ability. + +I remained here some four weeks, and should have remained longer, but an +incident transpired that awakened all my fears, and again sent me forth +into the wide world, a fugitive, and a wanderer. I went to my chamber +one night, when I heard a sound like the full, heavy respiration of a +man in deep sleep. The sound appeared to come from under the bed, but +stopped as I entered the room. I was very much alarmed, but I controlled +my feelings, and instead of running shrieking from the room, I +deliberately closed the blinds, shut the windows, adjusted the curtain, +all the time carelessly humming a tune, and taking up my lamp I +slowly left the room. Once outside the door, I ran in all haste to Mr. +Williams, and told him what I had heard. He laughed at me, said it was +all imagination, but, to quiet my fears, he went to my room resolved +to convince me that no one was there. I followed, and stood at the door +while he lifted the bed valance, when a large, tall man sprang forth, +and caught him with one hand while with the other he drew a pistol +from beneath his coat saying, "Let me go, and I'll depart in peace; but +attempt to detain me, and I'll blow your brains out." I shrieked, and +Mrs. Williams came in great terror and consternation, to see what was +the matter. But she could render no assistance, and Mr. Williams, being +unarmed, was obliged to let him go. The watch were immediately called, +and they sought for the intruder in every direction. No effort was +spared to find him, that we might, at least, learn the object of +this untimely visit. But the search was all in vain. No trace of his +whereabouts could be discovered. + +Mr. Williams said he did not believe it was me he sought. He thought the +object was robbery, and perhaps arson and murder, but he would not +think that I was in the least danger. "The man," he said, "in hastily +concealing himself had taken the first hiding place he could find." Yet +I thought otherwise. Indeed, so sure was I that he was an agent of the +priests, sent forth for the express purpose of arresting me, no earthly +consideration would have induced me to remain there another day. The +rest of that night I spent in a state of anxiety I cannot describe. +Sleep fled from my eyes. I dared not even undress and go to bed, but I +sat in my chair, or walked the room every moment expecting the return +of the mysterious visitor. I shuddered at every sound, whether real or +imaginary. Once in particular, I remember, the distant roll of carriage +wheels fell upon my ear. I listened; it came near, and still nearer, +till at last it stopped, as I thought, at the gate. For a moment I stood +literally stupified with terror, and then I hastily prepared to use the +means for self destruction I had already provided in anticipation of +such an emergency. I was still resolved never to be taken alive. "Give +me liberty or give me death," was now the language of my soul. If I +could not enjoy the one, I would cordially embrace the other. But it was +a sad alternative after all I had suffered that I might be free, after +all my buoyant hopes, all my ardent aspirations for a better life. O, it +was a bitter thing, thus to stand in the darkness of night, and with my +own hand carefully adjust the cord that was to cut me off from the land +of the living, and in a moment launch my trembling soul into the vast, +unknown, untried, and fearful future, that men call eternity! Was this +to be the only use I was to make of liberty? Was it for this I had so +long struggled, toiled, wept and prayed? "God of mercy," I cried, "save, +O save me from this last great sin! From the sad and dire necessity +which thus urges me to cut short a life which thou alone canst give!" +My prayer was heard; but how slowly passed the hours of that weary night +while I waited for the day that I might "hasten my escape from the windy +storm and tempest." Truly, at that time I could say with one of old, +"Fearfulness and trembling are come upon me, and horror hath overwhelmed +me. My heart is sore pained within me, and the terrors of death are +fallen upon me. Oh that I had the wings of a dove, for then would I flee +away, and be at rest." + +But alas! I had not the wings of a dove, and whither should I flee from +the furious grasp of my relentless persecutors? Again I must go forth +into the "busy haunts of men," I must mingle with the multitude, and +what chance had I for ultimate escape? If I left these kind friends, and +leave them I must, who would take me in? In whom could I confide? Who +would have the power to rescue me in my hour of need? In God alone could +I trust, yet why is he so far from helping me? Why are my prayers so +long unanswered? And why does he thus allow the wicked to triumph; to +lay snares for the feet of the innocent, and wrongfully persecute those +whom their wanton cruelty hath caused to sit in darkness and in the +shadow of death? Why does he not at once "break the bands of iron, and +let the oppressed go free?" + +The tedious night at length passed away. When I met Mr. Williams in the +morning, I told him I could no longer remain with him, for I was sure +if I did, I should be suddenly arrested in some unguarded moment, and +carried back to Montreal. He urged me to stay, assured me he would never +allow them to take me, said that he thought some of going south, and I +could go with him, and thus be removed far from all whom I feared. Mrs. +Williams, also, strove to persuade me to stay. But, though sorry to +appear ungrateful, I dared not remain another night where I felt that my +danger was so great. + +When they found that I was determined to go, Mr. Williams said I +had better go to Worcester, Mass., and try to get employment in some +farmer's family, a little out of the city. He gave me money to bear my +expenses, until I found a place where I could earn my living. It was +with a sad heart that I left this hospitable roof, and as I turned away +I said in my heart, "Shall I always be hunted through the world in this +manner, obliged to flee like a guilty thing, and shall I never find +a home of happiness and peace? Must sorrow and despair forever be the +portion of my cup?" But no words of mine can describe what I felt at +that moment. I longed for the power to sound a warning through the +length and breadth of the land, to cry in the ears of all the people, +"Beware of Romanism!" Like the patient man of Uz, with whose history +I have since become familiar, I was ready to exclaim, "O that my words +were now written! O that they were printed in a book! Graven with an +iron pen," that the whole world might know what a fearful and bitter +thing it is to be a nun! To be subject to the control of those ruthless +tyrants, the Romish Priests. + +Once more I entered the depot, and mingled with the crowd around the +ticket office. But no pen can describe my terror when I found myself the +object of particular attention. I heard people remark about my strange +and unnatural appearance, and I feared I might be taken up for a crazy +person, if not for a nun. Thinking that I saw an enemy in every face, +and a pursuer in every one who came near me, I hastened to take refuge +in the cars. There I waited with the greatest impatience for the +starting of the train. Slowly the cars were filled; very leisurely the +passengers sought their seats, while I sat trembling in every limb, and +the cold perspiration starting from every pore. How carefully I scanned +every face! how eagerly I watched for some indication of the priest or +the spy! So intense was my anxiety, those few moments seemed to me an +age of agony. At length the shrill whistle announced that all was ready, +and like sweetest music the sound fell upon my ears. The train dashed +off at lightning speed, but to me it seemed like the movement of a +snail. + +Once under way, I ventured to breathe freely, and hope again revived. +Perchance I might yet escape. But even as the thought passed my mind, a +man entered the cars and seated himself directly, before me. I thought +he regarded me with too much interest, and thinking to shun him, I +quietly left my seat and retired to the other end of the car. He soon +followed, and again my fears revived. He at first tried to converse with +me, but finding I would not reply, he began to question me in the most +direct and impertinent manner. Again I changed my seat, and again he +followed. I then sought the conductor, and revealed to him enough of my +history to enlist his sympathy and ensure his protection. To his honor +be it spoken, I did not appeal to him in vain. He severely reproved the +man for his impertinence; and for the rest of the journey I was shielded +from insult or injury. + +Nothing further of interest transpired until I reached Worcester, when +the first face that met my eye as I was about to leave the cars was that +of a Romish priest. I could not be mistaken, for I had often seen him +at Montreal. He might not have been looking for me, but he watched every +passenger as they left the cars in a way that convinced me he had some +special reason for doing it. As I, too, had special reasons for avoiding +him just at that time, I stepped back out of sight until the passengers +were all out of the cars and the priest had turned away. I then sprang +out upon the opposite side, and, turning my back upon the depot, +hastened away amid the wilderness of houses, not knowing whither I went. +For a long time I wandered around, until at length, being faint and +weary, I began to look for some place where I could obtain refreshment. +But when I found a restaurant I did not dare to enter. A number of +Irishmen were standing around who were in all probability Catholics. I +would not venture among them; but as I turned aside I remembered that +Mr. Williams had directed me to seek employment a little out of the +city. I then inquired the way to Main street, and having found it, I +turned to the north and walked on till I found myself out of the thickly +settled part of the city. Then I began to seek for employment, and after +several fruitless applications I chanced to call upon a man whose name +was Handy. He received me in the kindest manner, and when I asked for +work, he said his wife did not need to hire me, but I was welcome to +stop with them and work for my board until I found employment elsewhere. +This offer I joyfully accepted; and, as I became acquainted in the +place, many kind hands were extended to aid me in my efforts to obtain +an honest living. In this neighborhood I still reside, truly thankful +for past deliverance, grateful for present mercies, and confidently +trusting God for the future. + + + + +CHAPTER XXVI. + +CONCLUSION. + +Here closes the history of Sarah J. Richardson, as related by herself. +The remaining particulars have been obtained from her employers in +Worcester. + +She arrived in this city August, 1854, and, as she has already stated, +at once commenced seeking for employment. She called at many houses +before she found any one who wished for help; and her first question +at each place was, "Are you a Catholic?" If the answer was in the +affirmative, she passed on, but if the family were Protestants, she +inquired for some kind of employment. She did not care what it was; she +would cook, wash, sew, or do chamber-work--anything to earn her bread. A +Mr. Handy was the first person who took her in, and gave her a home. +In his family she worked for her board a few weeks, going out to wash +occasionally as she had opportunity. She then went to Holden Mass., but +for some reason remained only one week, and again returned to Worcester. + +Mr. Ezra Goddard then took her into his own family, and found her +capable, industrious, and trustworthy. Had anything been wanting to +prove her truthfulness and sincerity, the deep gratitude of her fervent +"I thank you," when told that she had found a permanent home, would +have done it effectually. But though her whole appearance indicated +contentment and earnestness of purpose, though her various duties +were faithfully and zealously performed, yet the deep sadness of her +countenance, and the evident anxiety of her mind at first awakened a +suspicion of mental derangement. She seemed restless, suspicious, +and morbidly apprehensive of approaching danger. The appearance of a +stranger, or a sudden ringing of the bell, would cause her to start, +tremble, and exhibit the greatest perturbation of spirit. In fact, she +seemed so constantly on the qui vive, the lady of the house one day said +to her, "Sarah, what is the matter with you? what do you fear?" "The +Roman Catholic priests," she replied. "I have been a nun. I ran away +from the Grey Nunnery at Montreal, and twice I have been caught, carried +back, and punished in the most cruel manner. O, if you knew what I have +suffered, you would not wonder that I live in constant fear lest they +again seek out my retreat; and I will die before I go back again." + +Further questioning drew from her the foregoing narrative, which she +repeated once and again to various persons, and at different times, +without the least alteration or contradiction. She resided in the family +of Mr. Goddard some weeks, when she was taken into the employ of Mr. +Amos L. Black. + +This gentleman informs us that he found her a faithful, industrious, +honest servant, and he has not the least doubt of the truthfulness of +her statements respecting her former life in the Convent. + +A few weeks after this, she was married to Frederick S. Richardson +with whom she became acquainted soon after her arrival in the city of +Worcester. The marriage ceremony was performed by Charles Chaffin, Esq., +of Holden, Mass. After their marriage, her husband hired a room in the +house occupied by Mr. Handy with whom she had formerly resided. After a +few weeks, however, they removed to a place called the Drury farm. It is +owned by the heirs, but left in the care of Mr. Ezra Goddard. + +Previous to her marriage, Mrs. Richardson had often been advised +to allow her history to be placed before the public. But she always +replied, "For my life I would not do it. Not because I do not wish the +world to know it, for I would gladly proclaim it wherever a Romanist is +known, but it would be impossible for me to escape their hands should +I make myself so public. They would most assuredly take my life." After +her marriage, however, her principal objection was removed. She thought +they would not wish to take her back into the nunnery, and her husband +would protect her from violence. She therefore related the story of her +life while in the convent, which, in accordance with her own request, +was written down from her lips as she related it. This was done by Mrs. +Lucy Ann Hood, wife of Edward P. Hood, and daughter of Ezra Goddard. It +is now given to the public without addition or alteration, and with +but a slight abridgment. A strange and startling story it certainly +is. Perhaps the reader will cast it aside at once as a worthless +fiction,--the idle vagary of an excited brain. The compiler, of course, +cannot vouch for its truth, but would respectfully invite the attention +of the reader to the following testimonials presented by those who have +known the narrator. The first is from Edward P. Hood, with whom Mrs. +Richardson resided when her narrative was written. + + + +(TESTIMONY OF EDWARD P. HOOD.) + +To all whom it may concern. I hereby certify that I was personally +acquainted with Sarah J. Richards, now Sarah J. Richardson, at the time +she resided in Worcester, Mass. I first saw her at the house of Mr. Ezra +Goddard, where she came seeking employment. She appeared anxious to get +some kind of work, was willing to do anything to earn an honest living. +She had the appearance of a person who had seen much suffering and +hardship. She worked for Mr. Goddard a short time, when she obtained +another place. She then left, but called very often; and during her stay +in Worcester, she worked there several times. So far as I was able to +judge of her character, I do not hesitate to say that she was a woman +of truth and honesty. I heard her relate the account of her life and +sufferings in the Grey Nunnery, and her final escape. I knew when the +story was written, and can testify to its being done according to her +own dictation. I have examined the manuscript, and can say that it a +written out truly and faithfully as related by the nun herself. + +EDWARD P. HOOD. + +Worcester, May 5, 1856. + + + +(TESTIMONY OF EZRA GODDARD.) + +I first became acquainted with Sarah J. Richardson in August 1854. She +came to my house to work for my wife. She was at my house a great many +times after that until March 1855, when she left Worcester. At one time +she was there four or five weeks in succession. She was industrious, +willing to do anything to get an honest living. She was kind in her +disposition, and honest in her dealings. I have no hesitation in saying +that I think her statements can be relied upon. + +EZRA GODDARD. + +Worcester, Jan. 21, 1856. + + + +(TESTIMONY OF LUCY GODDARD.) + +I am acquainted with the above named Sarah J. Richardson, and can fully +testify to the truth of the above statements as to her kindness and +industrious habits, honesty and truthfulness. + +LUCY GODDARD. + +Worcester, Jan. 21, 1856. + + + +(TESTIMONY OF JOSIAH GODDARD.) + +To whom it may concern: This is to testify that I am acquainted with +Sarah J. Richardson, formerly Sarah J. Richards. I became acquainted +with her in the fall of 1854. She worked at my father's at the time. I +heard her tell her story, and from what I saw of her while she was in +Worcester, I have no hesitation in saying that she was a woman of truth +and honesty. + +JOSIAH GODDARD. + +Worcester, March 1, 1856. + + + +(TESTIMONY OF EBEN JEWETT.) + +I became acquainted with Sarah J. Richardson last winter, at the house +of Mr. Ezra Goddard; saw her a number of times after that, at the place +where I boarded. She did some work for my wife, and I heard her speak +of being at the Grey Nunnery. I also heard her story, from Mr. Goddard's +family. I have no doubt of her being honest and truthful, and I believe +she is so considered by all who became acquainted with her. + +EBEN JEWETT. + +Worcester, Feb., 1856. + + + +(TESTIMONY OF CHARLES CHAFFIN.) + +Worcester, ss.--Holden, Nov. 11, 1854. + +This certifies that I this day united in marriage, Frederick S. +Richardson and Sarah J. Richards, both of Worcester. + +CHARLES CHAFFIN, Justice of the Peace. + + + +(AFFIDAVIT.) + +I, Sarah J. Richardson, wife of Frederick S. Richardson, of the city +of Worcester, County of Worcester, and Commonwealth of Massachusetts, +formerly Sarah J. Richards before marriage, do solemnly swear, declare +and say, that the foregoing pages contain a true and faithful history of +my life before my marriage to the said Frederick S. Richardson, and +that every statement made herein by me is true. In witness whereof, I do +hereunto set my hand and seal, this 13th day of March, A.D. 1855. + +SARAH J. RICHARDSON (X her mark.) + +In presence of WM. GREENLEAF. + +Sworn to before me, the 13th day of March, AD. 1855. + +WM. GREENLEAF, Justice of the Peace. + + + +(TESTIMONY OF Z. K. PANGBORN.) + +When it was known that the Narrative of Sarah J. Richardson was about to +be published, Mr. Z. K. Pangborn, at that time editor of the Worcester +Daily Transcript, voluntarily offered the following testimony which we +copy from one of his editorials. + +"We have no doubt that the nun here spoken of as one who escaped from +the Grey Nunnery at Montreal, is the same person who spent some weeks in +our family in the fall of 1853, after her first escape from the Nunnery. +She came in search of employment to our house in St. Albans, Vt., +stating that she had traveled on foot from Montreal, and her appearance +indicated that she was poor, and had seen hardship. She obtained work +at sewing, her health not being sufficient for more arduous task. She +appeared to be suffering under some severe mental trial, and though +industrious and lady-like in her deportment, still appeared absent +minded, and occasionally singular in her manner. After awhile she +revealed the fact to the lady of the house, that she had escaped from +the Grey Nunnery at Montreal, but begged her not to inform any one +of the fact, as she feared, if it should be known, that she would be +retaken, and carried back. A few days after making this disclosure, +she suddenly disappeared. Having gone out one evening, and failing to +return, much inquiry was made, but no trace of her was obtained for some +months. Last spring a gentleman from Worcester, Mass. called on us to +make inquiries in regard to this same person and gave us the following +account of her as given by herself. She states that on the evening when +she so mysteriously disappeared from our house, she called upon an Irish +family whose acquaintance she had formed, and when she was coming away, +was suddenly seized, gagged, and thrust into a close carriage, or box, +as she thought, and on the evening of the next day found herself once +more consigned to the tender mercies of the Grey Nunnery in Montreal. +Her capture was effected by a priest who tracked her to St. Albans, +and watched his opportunity to seize her. She was subjected to the most +rigorous and cruel treatment, to punish her for running away, and kept +in close confinement till she feigned penitence and submission, when she +was treated less cruelly, and allowed more liberty. + +"But the difficulties in the way of an escape, only stimulated her the +more to make the attempt, and she finally succeeded a second time in +getting out of that place which she described as a den of cruelty and +misery. She was successful also in eluding her pursuers, and in reaching +this city, (Worcester,) where she remained some time, seeking to avoid +notoriety, as she feared she might be again betrayed and captured. She +is now, however, in a position where she does not fear the priests, and +proposes to give to the world a history of her life in the Nunnery. The +disclosures she makes are of the most startling character, but of her +veracity and good character we have the most satisfactory evidence." + +This statement was confirmed by Mrs. Pangborn, a sister of the late Mrs +Branard, the lady with whom Sarah J. Richardson stopped in St. Albans, +and by whom she was employed as a seamstress. Being an inmate of the +family at the time, Mrs Pangborn states that she had every opportunity +to become acquainted with the girl and learn her true character. The +family, she says, were all interested in her, although they knew nothing +of her secret, until a few days before she left. She speaks of her as +being "quiet and thoughtful, diligent, faithful and anxious to please, +but manifesting an eager desire for learning, that she might be able to +acquaint herself more perfectly with the Holy Scriptures. She could, +at that time, read a little, and her mind was well stored with select +passages from the sacred volume, which she seemed to take great delight +in repeating. She was able to converse intelligently upon almost +any subject, and never seemed at a loss for language to express her +thoughts. No one could doubt that nature had given her a mind capable of +a high degree of religious and intellectual culture, and that, with +the opportunity for improvement, she would become a useful member of +society. Of book knowledge she was certainly quite ignorant, but she had +evidently studied human nature to some good purpose." Mrs Pangborn also +corroborates many of the statements in her narrative. She often visited +the Grey Nunnery, and says that the description given of the building, +the Academy, the Orphan's Home, and young ladies school, are all +correct. The young Smalley mentioned in the narrative was well known to +her, and also his sister "little Sissy Smalley," as they used to call +her. Inquiries have been made of those acquainted with the route along +which the fugitive passed in her hasty flight, and we are told that the +description is in general correct; that even the mistakes serve to prove +the truthfulness of the narrator, being such as a person would be likely +to make when describing from memory scenes and places they had seen but +once; whereas, if they were getting up a fiction which they designed to +represent as truth, such mistakes would be carefully avoided. + + + + +APPENDIX I. + +ABSURDITIES OF ROMANISTS. + +It may perchance be thought by some persons that the foregoing narrative +contains many things too absurd and childish for belief. "What rational +man," it may be said, "would ever think of dressing up a figure to +represent the devil, for the purpose of frightening young girls into +obedience? And those absurd threats! Surely no sane man, and certainly +no Christian teacher, would ever stoop to such senseless mummery!" + +Incredible it may seem--foolish, false, inconsistent with reason, or the +plain dictates of common sense, it certainly is--but we have before us +well-authenticated accounts of transactions in which the Romish priests +claimed powers quite as extraordinary, and palmed off upon a credulous, +superstitious people stories quite as silly and ridiculous as anything +recorded in these pages. Indeed, so barefaced and shameless were their +pretensions in some instances, that even their better-informed brethren +were ashamed of their folly, and their own archbishop publicly rebuked +their dishonesty, cupidity and chicanery. In proof of this we place +before our readers the following facts which we find in a letter from +Professor Similien, of the college of Angers, addressed to the Union de +l'Ouest: + +"Some years ago a pretended miracle was reported as having occurred upon +a mountain called La Salette, in the southeastern part of France, +where the Virgin Mary appeared in a very miraculous manner to two young +shepherds. The story, however, was soon proved to be a despicable trick +of the priest, and as such was publicly exposed. But the Bishop of +Lucon, within whose diocese the sacred mountain stands, appears to have +been unwilling to relinquish the advantage which he expected to result +from a wide-spread belief in this infamous fable. Accordingly, in +July, 1852, it was again reported that no less than three miracles were +wrought there by the Holy Virgin. The details were as follows: + +"A young pupil at the religious establishment of the visitation of +Valence, who had been for three months completely blind from an attack +of gutta-serena, arrived at La Salette on the first of July, in company +with some sisters of the community. The extreme fatigue which she had +undergone in order to reach the summit of the mountain, at the place of +the apparition, caused some anxiety to be felt that she could not remain +fasting until the conclusion of the mass, which had not yet commenced, +and the Abbe Sibilla, one of the missionaries of La Salette, was +requested to administer the sacrament to her before the service began. +She had scarcely received the sacred wafer, when, impelled by a sudden +inspiration, she raised her head and exclaimed, 'ma bonne mere, je vous +vois.' She had, in fact, her eyes fixed on the statue of the Virgin, +which she saw as clearly as any one present For more than an hour she +remained plunged in an ecstasy of gratitude and love, and afterward +retired from the place without requiring the assistance of those who +accompanied her. At the same moment a woman from Gap, nearly sixty years +of age, who for the last nineteen years had not had the use of her right +arm, in consequence of a dislocation, suddenly felt it restored to +its original state, and swinging round the once paralyzed limb, she +exclaimed, in a transport of joy and gratitude, 'And I also am cured!' +A third cure, although not instantaneous, is not the less striking. +Another woman, known in the country for years as being paralytic, could +not ascend the mountain but with the greatest difficulty, and with the +aid of crutches. On the first day of the neuvane, that of her arrival, +she felt a sensation as if life was coming into her legs, which had been +for so long time dead. This feeling went on increasing, and the last day +of the neuvane, after having received the communion, she went, without +any assistance, to the cross of the assumption, where she hung up her +crutches. She also was cured. + +"Bishop Lucon must have known that this was mere imposition; yet, so far +from exposing a fraud so base, he not only permits his people to believe +it, but he lends his whole influence to support and circulate the +falsehood. And why? Ah! a church was to be erected; and it was necessary +to get up a little enthusiasm among the people in order to induce them +to fill his exhausted coffers, and build the church. In proof of this, +we have only to quote a few extracts from the 'Pastoral' which he issued +on this occasion. + +"'And now," he says, "Mary has deigned to appear on the summit of a +lofty mountain to two young shepherds, revealing to them the secrets +of heaven. But who attests the truth of the narrative of these Alpine +pastors? No other than the men themselves, and they are believed. They +declare what they have seen, they repeat what they have heard, they +retain what they have received commandment to keep secret. + +"A few words of the incomparable Mother of God have transformed them +into new men. Incapable of concerting aught between themselves, or of +imagining anything similar to what they relate, each is the witness to a +vision which has not found him unbelieving; each is its historian. These +two shepherds, dull as they were, have at once understood and received +the lesson which was vouchsafed to them, and it is ineffaceably engraven +on their hearts. They add nothing to it, they take nothing from it, they +modify it in nowise, they deliver the oracle of Heaven just as they have +received it. + +"An admirable constancy enabled them to guard the secret, a singular +sagacity made them discern all the snares laid for them, a rare prudence +suggested to them a thousand responses, not one of which betrayed their +secret; and when at length the time came when it was their duty to make +it known to the common Father of the Faithful, they wrote correctly, as +if reading a book placed under their eyes. Their recital drew to this +blessed mountain thousands of pilgrims. + +"They proclaimed that 'on Saturday, the 19th of September, 1846, Mary +manifested herself to them; and the anniversary of this glorious day is +henceforth and forever dear to Christian piety. Will not every pilgrim +who repairs to this holy mountain add his testimony to the truthfulness +of these young shepherds? Mary halted near a fountain; she communicated +to it a celestial virtue, a divine efficacy. From being intermittent, +this spring, today so celebrated, became perennial. + +"'Every where is recounted the prodigies which she works. When the +afflicted are in despair, the infirm without remedy, they resort to the +waters of La Salette, and cures are wrought by this remedy, whose power +makes itself felt against every evil. Our diocess, so devoted to Mary, +has been no stranger to the bounty of this tender Mother. We are +about to celebrate shortly the sixth anniversary of this miraculous +apparition. NOW THAT A SANCTUARY IS TO BE RAISED on this holy mountain +to the glory of God, we have thought it right to inform you thereof. + +"'We cannot doubt that many of you have been heard by our Lady of +La Salette; you desire to witness your gratitude to this mother of +compassion; you would gladly BRING YOUR STONE to the beautiful edifice +that is to be constructed. WE DESIRE TO FURTHER YOUR FILIAL TENDERNESS +WITH THE MEANS OF TRANSMITTING THE ALMS OF FAITH AND PIETY. For these +reasons, invoking the holy name of God, we have ordained and do ordain +as follows, viz.: + +"'First, we permit the appearance of our Lady of La Salette to be +preached throughout our diocess; secondly, on Sunday, the 19th of +September next ensuing, the litanies of the Holy Virgin shall be chanted +in all the chapels and churches of the diocess, and be followed by the +benediction of the Holy Sacrament. Thirdly, THE FAITHFUL WHO MAY DESIRE +TO CONTRIBUTE TO THE ERECTION OF THE NEW SANCTUARY, MAY DEPOSIT THEIR +OFFERINGS IN THE HANDS OF THE CURE, WHO WILL TRANSMIT THEM TO US FOR THE +BISHOP OF GRENOBLE. + +"'Our present pastoral letter shall be read and published after mass in +every parish on the Sunday after its reception. + +"'Given at Lucon, in our Episcopal palace, under our sign-manual and the +seal of our arms, and the official counter-signature of our secretary, +the 30th of June, of the year of Grace, 1852. + +"'X Jac-Mar Jos, "'Bishop of Lucon.'" + +"It is not a little remarkable," says the editor of the American +Christian Union, "that whilst the Bishop of Lucon was engaged in +extolling the miracles of La Salette, the Cardinal Archbishop of Lyons, +Dr. Bonald, 'Primate of all the Gauls,' addressed a circular to all the +priests in his diocese, in which he cautions them against apocryphal +miracles! There is indubitable evidence that his grace refers to the +scandalous delusions of La Salette. His language is severe, very severe. +He attributes the miracles in question to pecuniary speculation, which +now-a-days, he says, mingles with everything, seizes upon imaginary +facts, and profits by it at the expense of the credulous! He charges the +authors of these things with being GREEDY MEN, who aim at procuring for +themselves DISHONEST GAINS by this traffic in superstitious objects! And +he forbids the publishing from the pulpit, without leave, of any account +of a miracle, even though its authenticity should be attested by another +Bishop! This is good. His grace deserves credit for setting his face +against this miserable business, of palming off false miracles upon the +people." + +[Footnote: Since the above was written, we have met with the following +explanation of this modern miracle: + +"A few years ago there was a great stir among 'the simple faithful' in +France, occasioned by a well-credited apparition of the Holy Virgin at +La Salette. She required the erection of a chapel in her honor at that +place, and made such promises of special indulgences to all who paid +their devotions there, that it became 'all the rage' as a place of +pilgrimage. The consequence was, that other shops for the same sort of +wares in that region lost most of their customers, and the good priests +who tended the tills were sorely impoverished. In self-defence, they, +WELL KNOWING HOW SUCH THINGS WERE GOT UP, exposed the trick. A prelate +publicly denounced the imposture, and an Abbe Deleon, priest in the +diocess of Grenoble, printed a work called 'La Salette a Valley of +Lies.' In this publication it was maintained, with proofs, that the hoax +was gotten up by a Mademoiselle de Lamerliere, a sort of half-crazy nun, +who impersonated the character of the Virgin. For the injury done to her +character by this book she sued the priest for damages to the tone of +twenty thousand francs, demanding also the infliction of the utmost +penalty of the law. The court, after a long and careful investigation, +for two days, as we learn by the Catholic Herald, disposed of the case +by declaring the miracle-working damsel non-suited, and condemning her +to pay the expenses of the prosecution."--American and Foreign Christian +Union.] + +Another of Rome's marvellous stories we copy from the New York Daily +Times of July 3d, 1854. It is from the pen of a correspondent at Rome, +who, after giving an account of the ceremony performed in the church +of St. Peters at the canonization of a NEW SAINT, under the name of +Germana, relates the following particulars of her history. He says, "I +take the facts as they are related in a pamphlet account of her 'life, +virtues, and miracles,' published by authority at Rome: + +"Germana Consin was born near the village of Pibrac, in the diocess +of Toulouse, in France. Maimed in one hand, and of a scrofulous +constitution, she excited the hatred of her step-mother, in whose power +her father's second marriage placed her while yet a child. This cruel +woman gave the little Germana no other bed than some vine twigs, lying +under a flight of stairs, which galled her limbs, wearied with the day's +labor. She also persuaded her husband to send the little girl to tend +sheep in the plains, exposed to all extremes of weather. Injuries and +abuse were her only welcome when she returned from her day's task to +her home. To these injuries she submitted with Christian meekness and +patience, and she derived her happiness and consolation from religious +faith. She went every day to church to hear mass, disregarding the +distance, the difficulty of the journey, and the danger in which she +left her flock. The neighboring forest was full of wolves, who devoured +great numbers from other flocks, but never touched a sheep in that of +Germana. To go to the church she was obliged to cross a little river, +which was often flooded, but she passed with dry feet; the waters +flowing away from her on either side: howbeit no one else dared to +attempt the passage. Whenever the signal sounded for the Ave Marie, +wherever she might be in conducting her sheep, even if in a ditch, or in +mud or mire, she kneeled down and offered her devotions to the Queen of +Heaven, nor were her garments wet or soiled. The little children whom +she met in the fields she instructed in the truths of religion. For the +poor she felt the tenderest charity, and robbed herself of her scanty +pittance of bread to feed them. One day her step-mother, suspecting +that she was carrying away from the house morsels of bread to be thus +distributed, incited her husband to look in her apron; he did so, BUT +FOUND IT FULL OF FLOWERS, BEAUTIFUL BUT OUT OF SEASON, INSTEAD OF BREAD. +This miraculous conversion of bread into flowers formed the subject +of one of the paintings exhibited in St. Peter's at the Beatification. +Industrious, charitable, patient and forgiving, Germana lived a +memorable example of piety till she passed from earth in the twenty +second year of her age. The night of her death two holy monks were +passing, on a journey, in the neighborhood of her house. Late at night +they saw two celestial virgins robed in white on the road that led to +her habitation; a few minutes afterwards they returned leading between +them another virgin clad in pure white, and with a crown of flowers on +her head. + +"Wonders did not cease with her death. Forty years after this event her +body was uncovered, in digging a grave for another person, and found +entirely uncorrupted--nay, the blood flowed from a wound accidentally +made in her face. Great crowds assembled to see the body so miraculously +preserved, and it was carefully re-interred within the church. There it +lay in place until the French Revolution, when it was pulled up and cast +into a ditch and covered with quick lime and water. But even this +failed to injure the body of the blessed saint. It was found two years +afterward entirely unhurt, and even the grave clothes which surrounded +it were entire, as on the day of sepulture, two hundred years before. + +"And now in the middle of the nineteenth century, these facts are +published for the edification of believers, and his Holiness has set his +seal to their authenticity. Four miracles performed by this saint after +her death are attested by the bull of beatification, and also by Latin +inscriptions in great letters displayed at St. Peter's on the day +of this great celebration. The monks of the monastery at Bourges, in +France, prayed her to intercede on one occasion, that their store of +bread might be multiplied; on another their store of meal; on both +occasions THEIR PRAYER WAS GRANTED. The other two miracles were cures +of desperate maladies, the diseased persons having been brought to pray +over her tomb. + +"On the splendid scarlet hangings, bearing the arms of Pius IX. and +suspended at the corners of the nave and transept, were two Latin +inscriptions, of similar purport, of one of which I give a translation: +'O Germana, raised to-day to celestial honors by Pius IX. Pontifex +Maximus, since thou knowest that Pius has wept over thy nation wandering +from God, and has exultingly rejoiced at its reconciling itself with God +little by little, he prays thee intimately united with God, do thou, for +thou canst do it, make known his wishes to God, and strengthen them, for +thou art able, with the virtue of thy prayers.' + +"I have been thus minute in my account of this Beatification, deeming +the facts I state of no little importance and interest, as casting light +upon the character of the Catholicism of the present day, and showing +with what matters the Spiritual and Temporal ruler of Rome is busying +himself in this year of our Lord eighteen hundred and fifty-four." + +Many other examples similar to the above might be given from the history +of Catholicism as it exists at the present time in the old world. But +let us turn to our own country. We need not look to France or Rome for +examples of priestly intrigue of the basest kind; and absurdities that +almost surpass belief. The following account which we copy from The +American and Foreign Christian Union of August, 1852, will serve to show +that the priests in these United States are quite as willing to impose +upon the ignorant and credulous as, their brethren in other countries. +The article is from the pen of an Irish Missionary in the employ of The +American and Foreign Christian Union and is entitled, + + "A LYING WONDER." + +"It would seem almost incredible," says the editor of this valuable +Magazine, "that any men could be found in this country who are capable +of practising such wretched deceptions. But the account given in the +subjoined statement is too well authenticated to permit us to reject the +story as untrue, however improbable it may, at first sight, seem to be. +Here it is:--? + +"Mr. Editor,--I give you, herein, some information respecting a lying +wonder wrought in Troy, New York, last winter, and respecting the female +who was the 'MEDIUM' of it. I have come to the conclusion that this +female is a Jesuit, after as good an examination as I have been able to +give the matter. I have been fed with these lying wonders in early life, +and in Ireland as well as in this country there are many who, for want +of knowing any better, will feed upon them in their hearts by faith and +thanksgiving. About the time this lying wonder of which I am about to +write happened, I had been talking of it in the office of Mr. Luther, of +Albany, (coal merchant), where were a number of Irish waiting for a job. +One of these men declared, with many curses on his soul if what he told +was not true, that he had seen a devil cast out of a woman in his own +parish, in Ireland, by the priest. I told him it would be better for his +character's sake for him to say he heard of it, than to say he SAW it. + +Mr. J. W. Lockwood, a respectable merchant in Troy, New York, and son of +the late mayor, kept two or three young women as 'helps' for his lady, +last winter. The name of one is Eliza Mead, and the name of another is +Catharine Dillon, a native of the county of Limerick, Ireland. Eliza +was an upper servant, who took care of her mistress and her children. +Catharine was and is now the cook. Eliza appeared to her mistress to be +a very well educated, and a very intellectual woman of 35, though she +would try to make believe she could not write, and that she was subject +to fits of insanity. There was then presumptive evidence that she wrote +a good deal, and there is now positive evidence that she could write. +She used often, in the presence of Mrs. L., to take the Bible and other +books and read them, and would often say she thought the Protestants +had a better religion than the Catholics, and were a better people. +Afterwards she told Mrs. L. that she had doubts about the Catholic +religion, and was inclined toward the Protestant: but now she is +sure, quite sure, that the Catholic alone is the right one, FOR IT WAS +REVEALED TO HER. + +On the evening of the 23d of December, 1851, Eliza and Catharine were +missing;--but I will give you Catharine's affidavit about their business +from home. + +"City of Troy, S. W. + +"I, Catharine Dillon, say, that on Tuesday, 23d December inst, about +five o'clock in the afternoon, I went with Eliza Mead to see the priest, +Mr. McDonnel, who was at home. Eliza remained there till about six +o'clock P. M. At that time I returned home, leaving her at the priest's. +At half past eight o'clock the same evening I returned to the priest's +house for Eliza, and waited there for her till about ten o'clock of the +same evening, expecting that Eliza's conference with the priest would be +ended, and that she would come home with me. + +"During the evening there had been another besides Mr. McDonnel there. +About ten o'clock this other priest retired, as I understood. Soon after +this Mr. McDonnel called me, with others, into the room where Eliza was, +when he said that she (Eliza) was POSSESSED OF THE DEVIL Mr. McDonnel +then commenced interrogating the devil, asking the devil if he possessed +her. The answer was, "Yes." The priest then asked, "How long?" and the +answer was, "Six months and nine days." The priest then asked, "Who sent +you into her?" The answer was, "Mr. Lockwood." The next question was, +"When?" "When she was asleep," was the answer. He then asked the devil +if Mr. Lockwood had ever tempted Catharine, meaning me, and the reply +was, "Yes." Then the question was, "How many times?" And the answer was, +"Three times, by offering her drink when she was asleep?" + +"I came home about five o'clock in the morning, greatly shocked at +what I had seen and heard, and impressed with the belief that Eliza was +possessed with the devil. I went again to the priest's on Wednesday to +find Eliza, when the priest told me that he, Mr. McDonnel, exorcised the +devil at high mass that morning in the church, and drove the devil out +of Eliza. That he, the devil, came out of Eliza, and spat at the Holy +Cross of Jesus Christ, and departed. He then told me that, as Eliza got +the devil from Mr. Lockwood, in the house where I lived, I must leave +the house immediately, and made me promise him that I would. During the +appalling scenes of Tuesday night, Mr. McDonnel went to the other priest +and called him up, but the other priest did not come to his assistance. +These answers to the priest when he was asking questions of the devil, +were given in a very loud voice and sometimes with a loud scream." + +"CATHARINE DILLON." + +"Subscribed and sworn to, this 31st day of December, 1851, before me, +JOB S. OLIN, Recorder of Troy, New York." [A copy.] + +At the interview between Mr. J. W. Lockwood and the Rev. Mr. McDonnel, +officiating priest at St. Peter's church, there were present Hon. James +M. Warren, T. W. Blatchford, M. D., and C. N. Lockwood, on the part of +Mr. Lockwood, and Father Kenny and Mr. Davis on the part of the Rev. Mr. +McDonnel, on the evening of the 31st December, 1851. + +Mr. McDonnel at first declined answering any questions, questioning Mr. +Lockwood's right to ask them: He would only say that Eliza Mead came to +his house possessed, as she thought, with an evil spirit; that at first +he declined having anything to do with her, first, because he believed +her to be crazy; second, because he was at that moment otherwise +engaged; and thirdly, because she was not in his parish; but, by her +urgent appeals in the name of God to pray over her, he was at last +induced to admit her. He became satisfied that she was possessed of the +devil, or an evil spirit, by saying the appointed prayers of the church +over her; for the spirit manifested uneasiness when this was done; and +furthermore, as she was entering the church the following morning, she +was thrown into convulsions by Father Kenny's making the sign of the +cross behind her back. At high mass in the morning he exorcised the +devil, and he left her, spitting at the cross of Christ before taking +his final departure. + +As to Mr. McDonnel's repeatedly telling Catharine that she must leave +Mr. L's house immediately, for if she remained there Mr. L. would put +the devil in her, Mr. McDonnel denied saying or doing anything whatever +that was detrimental to the character of Mr. L. or any of his family. +Mr. McDonnel repeatedly refused to answer the questions put to him by +Mr. L. He considered it insulting that Mr. L. should visit his house on +such business, as no power on earth but that of the POPE had authority +to question him on such matters. But being reminded that slanderous +reports had emanated from that very house against Mr. L. he, Mr. +McDonnel, said it was all to see what kind of a man he was that brought +Mr. L. there, and if reports were exaggerated, it was nothing to him. + +Mr. McDonnel said that he cleared the church before casting out the +devil, and there was but one person besides himself there. That, +every word spoken in the church was in Latin, and nobody in the church +understood a word of it. That he had heard threats made by Mr. L., +also that Mr. L. had said the pretended answers of the devil ware made +through the medium of ventriloquism. Father Kenny, in the progress of +the interview, made two or three attempts to speak, but was prevented by +Mr. McDonnel. + +Thus ends the report written down by Mr. L.'s brother, who was present, +immediately after the interview. It was all Latin in the church, we +see; but the low Irish will not believe that the devil could understand +Latin. However, it was not all Latin at the priest's house, where +Catharine Dillon heard what she declared on oath. How slow the priest +was to admit her (Eliza Mead) in the beginning, and to believe that she +had his sable majesty in her, until it manifested uneasiness under the +cannonade of church prayers! + +"But you will ask, how could an educated priest, or an intelligent +woman, condescend to such diabolical impositions? I think it is +something after the way that a man gets to be a drunkard; he may not +like the taste thereof at first, but afterwards he will smack his lips +and say, 'there is nothing like whiskey,' and as their food becomes part +of their bodily substance, so are these 'lying wonders' converted into +their spiritual substance. So I think; I am, however, but a very humble +philosopher, and therefore I will use the diction of the Holy Spirit on +the matter: 'For this cause God shall send them strong delusions, that +they should believe a lie,' EVEN OF THEIR OWN MAKING, OR WHAT MAY EASILY +BE SEEN TO BE LIES OF OTHER'S GETTING, "that they all might be damned +who believed not the truth, but had pleasure in unrighteousness.'" + +"JOHN MURPHEY. + +"ALBANY, June 2nd, 1852." + + +It was said by one "that the first temptation on reading such +monstrosities as the above, is to utter a laugh of derision." But it is +with no such feeling that we place them before our readers. Rather would +we exclaim with the inspired penman, "O that my head were waters and +mine eyes a fountain of tears, that I might weep day and night" for the +deluded followers of these willfully blind leaders! Surely, no pleasure +can be found in reading or recording scenes which a pure mind can regard +only with pity and disgust. Yet we desire to prove to our readers that +the absurd threats and foolish attempts to impose upon the weak and +ignorant recorded by Sarah J. Richardson are perfectly consistent +with the general character and conduct of the Romish priests. Read +for instance, the following ridiculous story translated from Le Semeur +Canadien for October 12th, 1855. + +A NEW MEANS OF CONVERSION. + +In the district of Montreal lived a Canadian widow of French extraction +who had become a Protestant. Madam V--, such was the name of this lady, +lived with her daughter, the sole fruit of a union too soon dissolved +by unsparing death. Their life, full of good works, dispelled prejudices +that the inhabitants of the vicinity--all intolerant Catholics--had +always entertained against evangelical Christians; they gained their +respect, moreover, by presenting them the example of every virtue. Two +of the neighbors of the Protestant widow--who had often heard at her +house the word of God read and commented upon by one of those ministers +who visit the scattered members of their communion--talked lately of +embracing the reformed religion. In the mean while, Miss V-- died. The +young Christian rested her hope upon the promises of the Saviour who has +said, "Believe in Christ and thou shall be saved." + +Her spirit flew to its Creator with the confidence of an infant who +throws himself into the arms of his father. Her last moments were not +tormented by the fear of purgatory, where every Catholic believes he +will suffer for a longer or shorter time. This death strengthened the +neighbors in the resolution they had taken to leave the Catholic church. +The widow buried the remains of her daughter upon her own land, a short +distance from her house: the nearest Protestant cemetery was so far off +that she was forced to give up burying it there. + +Some Catholic fanatics of the vicinity assembled secretly the day after +the funeral of Miss V-- to discuss the best means for arresting the +progress that the reformed religion was making in the parish. After long +deliberation they resolved to hire a poor man to go every evening for +a whole week and groan near the grave of Miss V---. Their object was to +make the widow and neighbors believe that the young girl was damned; and +that God permitted her to show her great unhappiness by lamentations, +so that they might avoid her fate by remaining faithful to the belief of +their fathers. In any other country than Lower Canada, those who might +have employed such means would not perhaps have had an opportunity +of seeing their enterprise crowned with success; but in our country +districts, where the people believe in ghosts and bugbears, it would +almost certainly produce the desired effect. This expedient, instead of +being ridiculous, was atrocious. The employment of it could not fail to +cause Mrs V-- to suffer the most painful agonies, and her neighbors the +torments of doubt. + +The credulity of the French-Canadian is the work of the clergy; they +invent and relate, in order to excite their piety, the most marvellous +things. For example: the priests say that souls in purgatory desiring +alleviation come and ask masses of their relatives, either by appearing +in the same form they had in life, or by displacing the furniture and +making a noise, as long as they have not terminated the expiation of +their sins. The Catholic clergy, by supporting these fabulous doctrines +and pious lies, lead their flock into the baleful habit of believing +things the most absurd and destitute of proof. + +The day after Miss V--'s funeral, everybody in the parish was talking of +the woeful cries which had been heard the night before near her grave. +The inhabitants of the place, imbued with fantastic ideas that their +rector had kept alive, were dupes of the artifice employed by some of +their own number. They became convinced that there is no safety outside +of the church, of which they formed a part. Seized with horror they +determined never to pass a night near the grave of the cursed one, as +they already called the young Protestant. Mrs. V-- by the instinctive +effect of prejudices inculcated when she was a Catholic, was at first a +prey to deadly anxiety; but recalling the holy life of her daughter, +she no longer doubted of her being among the number of the elect. She +guessed at the cause of the noise which was heard near the grave of her +child. In order to assure herself of the justness of her suspicions, +she besought the two neighbors of whom I have already spoken, to conceal +themselves there the following night. These persons were glad of an +occasion to test the accuracy of what a curate of their acquaintance had +told them; who had asserted that a spirit free from the body could yet +manifest itself substantially to the living, as speaking without tongue, +touching without hands. + +They discovered the man who was paid to play the ghost; they seized him, +and in order to punish him, tied him to a tree, at the foot of which +Miss V-- was buried. The poor creature the next morning no longer acted +the soul in torment, but shouted like a person who very much wanted his +breakfast. At noon one of his friends passed by who, hearing him implore +assistance, approached and set him free. Overwhelmed with questions and +derision, the false ghost confessed he had acted thus only to obtain +the reward which had been promised him. You may easily guess that +the ridicule and reprobation turned upon those who had made him their +instrument. + +I will not finish this narrative without telling the reader that the +curate of the place appeared much incensed at what his parishioners +had done. I am glad to be able to suppose that he condemns rather +than encourages such conduct. A Protestant friend of mine who does not +entertain the same respect for the Roman clergy that I do, advances the +opinion that the displeasure of the curate was not on account of the +culpable attempt of some of his flock but on account of its failure. +However, I must add, on my reputation as a faithful narrator, that +nothing has yet happened to confirm his assertion. + +ERASTE D'ORSONNENS. + +MONTREAL, September 1855. + + + + +APPENDIX II. + +CRUELTY OF ROMANISTS. + +To show that the Romish priests have in all ages, and do still, inflict +upon their victims cruelties quite as severe as anything described in +the foregoing pages, and that such cruelties are sanctioned by their +code of laws, we have only to turn to the authentic history of the past +and present transactions of the high functionaries of Rome. + +About the year 1356, Nicholas Eymeric, inquisitor-general of Arragon, +collected from the civil and canon laws all that related to the +punishment of heretics, and formed the "Directory of Inquisitors," the +first and indeed the fundamental code, which has been followed ever +since, without any essential variation. "It exhibits the practice and +theory of the Inquisition at the time of its sanction by the approbation +of Gregory 13th, in 1587, which theory, under some necessary variations +of practice, still remains unchanged." + +From this "Directory," transcribed by the Rev. Wm. Rule of London, in +1852, we extract a few sentences in relation to torture. + +"Torture is inflicted on one who confesses the principal fact, but +varies as to circumstances. Also on one who is reputed to be a heretic, +but against whom there is only one witness of the fact. In this case +common rumor is one indication of guilt, and the direct evidence is +another, making altogether but semi-plenar proof. The torture may bring +out fall proof. Also, when there is no witness, but vehement suspicion. +Also when there is no common report of heresy, but only one witness +who has heard or seen something in him contrary to the faith. Any two +indications of heresy will justify the use of torture. If you sentence +to torture, give him a written notice in the form prescribed; but other +means be tried first. Nor is this an infallible means for bringing out +the truth. Weak-hearted men, impatient at the first pain, will confess +crimes they never committed, and criminate others at the same time. Bold +and strong ones will bear the most severe torments. Those who have been +on the rack before bear it with more courage, for they know how to adapt +their limbs to it, and they resist powerfully. Others, by enchantments, +seem to be insensible, and would rather die than confess. These wretches +user for incantations, certain passages from the Psalms of David, or +other parts of Scripture, which they write on virgin parchment in an +extravagant way, mixing them with names of unknown angels, with circles +and strange letters, which they wear upon their person. 'I know not,' +says Pena, 'how this witchcraft can be remedied, but it will be well to +strip the criminals naked, and search them narrowly, before laying them +upon the rack.' While the tormentor is getting ready, let the inquisitor +and other grave men make fresh attempts to obtain a confession of the +truth. Let the tormentors TERRIFY HIM BY ALL MEANS, TO FRIGHTEN HIM INTO +CONFESSION. And after he is stripped, let the inquisitor take him aside, +and make a last effort. When this has failed, let him be put to the +question by torture, beginning with interrogation on lesser points, +and advancing to greater. If he stands out, let them show him other +instruments of torture, and threaten that he shall suffer them also. If +he will not confess; the torture may be continued on the second or third +day; but as it is not to be repeated, those successive applications must +be called CONTINUATION. And if, after all, he does not confess, he may +be set at liberty." + +Rules are laid down for the punishment of those who do confess. Innocent +IV. commanded the secular judges to put heretics to torture; but that +gave occasion to scandalous publicity, and now inquisitors are empowered +to do it, and, in case of irregularity (THAT IS, IF THE PERSON DIES IN +THEIR HANDS), TO ABSOLVE EACH OTHER. And although nobles were exempt +from torture, and in some kingdoms, as Arragon, it was not used in civil +tribunals, the inquisitors were nevertheless authorized to torture, +without restriction, persons of all classes. + +And here we digress from Eymeric and Pena, in order to describe, from +additional authority, of what this torture consisted, and probably, +still consists, in Italy. Limborch collects this information from Juan +de Rojas, inquisitor at Valencia. + +"There were five degrees of torment as some counted (Eymeric included), +or according to others, three. First, there was terror, including +the threatenings of the inquisitor, leading to the place of torture, +stripping, and binding; the stripping of their clothing, both men and +women, with the substitution of a single tight garment, to cover part +of the person--being an outrage of every feeling of decency--and the +binding, often as distressing as the torture itself. Secondly came the +stretching on the rack, and questions attendant. Thirdly a more severe +shock, by the tension and sodden relaxation of the cord, which is +sometimes given once, but often twice, thrice, or yet more frequently." + +"Isaac Orobio, a Jewish physician, related to Limborch the manner in +which he had himself been tortured, when thrown into the inquisition at +Seville, on the delation of a Moorish servant, whom he had punished for +theft, and of another person similarly offended. + +"After having been in the prison of the inquisition for full three +years, examined a few times, but constantly refusing to confess the +things laid to his charge, he was at length brought out of the cell, +and led through tortuous passages to the place of torment. It was near +evening. He found himself in a subterranean chamber, rather spacious, +arched over, and hung with black cloth. The whole conclave was lighted +by candles in sconces on the walls. At one end there was a separate +chamber, wherein were an inquisitor and his notary seated at a table. +The place, gloomy, intent, and everywhere terrible, seemed to be the +very home of death. Hither he was brought, and the inquisitor again +exhorted him to tell the truth before the torture should begin. On his +answering that he had already told the truth, the inquisitor gravely +protested that he was bringing himself to the torture by his own +obstinacy; and that if he should suffer loss of blood, or even expire, +during the question, the holy office would be blameless. Having thus +spoken, the inquisitor left him in the hands of the tormentors, who +stripped him, and compressed his body so tightly in a pair of linen +drawers, that he could no longer draw breath, and must have died, had +they not suddenly relaxed the pressure; but with recovered breathing +came pain unutterably exquisite. The anguish being past, they repeated a +monition to confess the truth, before the torture, as they said, should +begin; and the same was afterwards repeated at each interval. + +"As Orobio persisted in denial, they bound his thumbs so tightly with +small cords that the blood burst from under the nails, and they were +swelled excessively. Then they made him stand against the wall on +a small stool, passed cords around various parts of his body, but +principally around the arms and legs, and carried them over iron +pulleys in the ceiling. The tormentor then pulled the cords with all his +strength, applying his feet to the wall, and giving the weight of his +body to increase the purchase. With these ligatures his arms and legs, +fingers and toes, were so wrung and swollen that he felt as if fire were +devouring them. In the midst of this torment the man kicked down the +stool which had supported his feet, so that he hung upon the cords +with his whole weight, which suddenly increased their tension, and +gave indescribable aggravation to his pain. Next followed a new kind +of torment. An instrument resembling a small ladder, consisting of two +parallel pieces of wood, and five transverse pieces, with the anterior +edges sharpened, was placed before him, so that when the tormentor +struck it heavily, he received the stroke five times multiplied on each +shin bone, producing pain that was absolutely intolerable, and under +which he fainted. But no sooner was he revived than they inflicted a new +torture. The tormentor tied other cords around his wrists, and having +his own shoulders covered with leather, that they might not be chafed, +passed round them the rope which was to draw the cords, set his feet +against the wall, threw himself back with all his force, and the cords +cut through to the bones. This he did thrice, each time changing the +position of the cords, leaving a small distance between the successive +wounds; but it happened that in pulling the second time they slipped +into the first wounds, and caused such a gush of blood that Orobio +seemed to be bleeding to death. + +"A physician and surgeon, who were in waiting as usual, to give their +opinion as to the safety or danger of continuing those operations, +that the inquisitors might not commit an irregularity by murdering the +patient, were called in. Being friends of the sufferer, they gave their +opinion that he had strength enough remaining to bear more. By this +means they saved him from a SUSPENSION of the torture, which would have +been followed by a repetition, on his recovery, under the pretext of +CONTINUATION. The cords were therefore pulled a third time, and this +ended the torture. He was dressed in his own clothes, carried back to +prison, and, after about seventy days, when the wounds were healed, +condemned as one SUSPECTED of Judaism. They could not say CONVICTED, +because he had not confessed; but they sentenced him to wear the +sambenito [Footnote: This sambenito (Suco bendito or blessed sack,) is +a garment (or kind of scapulary according to some writers,) worn by +penitents of the least criminal class in the procession of an Auto de +Fe, (a solemn ceremony held by the Inquisition for the punishment of +heretics,) but sometimes worn as a punishment at other times, that the +condemned one might be marked by his neighbors, and ever bear a signal +that would affright and scare by the greatness of the punishment and +disgrace; a plan, salutary it may be, but very grievous to the offender. +It was made of yellow cloth, with a St. Andrew's cross upon it, of +red. A rope was sometimes put around the neck as an additional mark of +infamy. + +"Those who were condemned to be burnt were distinguished by a habit of +the same form, called Zamarra, but instead of the red cross were +painted flames and devils, and sometimes an ugly portrait of the heretic +himself,--a head, with flames under it. Those who had been sentenced to +the stake, but indulged with commutation of the penalty, had inverted +flames painted on the livery, and this was called fuego revuelto, +"inverted fire." + +"Upon the head of the condemned was also placed a conical paper cap, +about three feet high, slightly resembling a mitre, called corona or +crown. This was painted with flames and devils in like manner with the +dress.] or penitential habit for two years, and then be banished for +life from Seville." + + + + +APPENDIX III. + +INQUISITION OF GOA--IMPRISONMENT OF M. DELLON, 1673. + +"M. Dellon a French traveller, spending some time at Damaun, on the +north-western coast of Hindostan, incurred the jealousy of the governor +and a black priest, in regard to a lady, as he is pleased to call +her, whom they both admired. He had expressed himself rather freely +concerning some of the grosser superstitions of Romanism, and thus +afforded the priest, who was also secretary of the Inquisition, an +occasion of proceeding against him as a heretic. The priest and the +governor united in a representation to the chief inquisitor at Goa, +which procured an order for his arrest. Like all other persons whom it +pleased the inquisitors or their servants to arrest, in any part of the +Portuguese dominions beyond the Cape of Good Hope, he was thrown into +prison with a promiscuous crowd of delinquents, the place and treatment +being of the worst kind, even according to the colonial barbarism of +the seventeenth century. To describe his sufferings there, is not to our +purpose, inasmuch as all prisoners fared alike, many of them perishing +from starvation and disease. Many offenders against the Inquisition +were there at the same time,--some accused of Judaism, others, of +Paganism--in which sorcery and witchcraft were included--and others of +immorality. In a field so wide and so fruitful, the "scrutators" of the +faith could not fail to gather abundantly. After an incarceration of at +least four months, he and his fellow-sufferers were shipped off for +the ecclesiastical metropolis of India, all of them being in irons. The +vessel put into Bacaim, and the prisoners were transferred, for some +days, to the prison of that town, where a large number of persons were +kept in custody, under charge of the commissary of the holy office, +until a vessel should arrive to carry them to Goa. + +"In due time they were again at sea, and a fair wind wafted their +fleet into that port after a voyage of seven days. Until they could +be deposited in the cells of the Inquisition with the accustomed +formalities, the Archbishop of Goa threw open HIS prison for their +reception, which prison, being ecclesiastical, may be deemed worthy of +description. + +"The most filthy," says Dellon, "the most dark, and the most horrible +that I ever saw; and I doubt whether a more shocking and horrible prison +can be found anywhere. It is a kind of cave wherein there is no day seen +but by a very little hole; the most subtle rays of the sun cannot enter +into it, and there is never any true light in it. The stench is extreme. +* * * + +"On the 16th of January 1674, at eight o'clock in the morning, an +officer came with orders to take the prisoners to "the holy house." With +considerable difficulty M. Dellon dragged his iron-loaded limbs thither. +They helped him to ascend the stairs at the great entrance, and in the +hall, smiths were waiting to take off the irons from all the prisoners. +One by one, they were summoned to audience. Dellon, who was called the +first, crossed the hall, passed through an ante-chamber, and entered +a room, called by the Portuguese "board of the holy office," where the +grand inquisitor of the Indies sat at one end of a very large table, on +an elevated floor in the middle of the chamber. He was a secular priest +about forty years of age, in full vigor--a man who could do his work +with energy. At one end of the room was a large crucifix, reaching from +the floor almost to the ceiling, and near it, sat a notary on a folding +stool. At the opposite end, and near the inquisitor, Dellon was placed, +and, hoping to soften his judge, fell on his knees before him. But the +inquisitor commanded him to rise, asked whether he knew the reason of +his arrest, and advised him to declare it at large, as that was the only +way to obtain a speedy release. Dellon caught at the hope of release, +began to tell his tale, mixed with tears and protestations, again +fell at the feet of Don Francisco Delgado Ematos, the inquisitor, and +implored his favorable attention. Don Francisco told him, very coolly, +that he had other business on hand, and, nothing moved, rang a silver +bell. The alcayde entered, led the prisoner out into a gallery, opened, +and searched his trunk, stripped him of every valuable, wrote an +inventory, assured him that all should be safely kept, and then led him +to a cell about ten feet square, and left him there, shut up in utter +solitude. In the evening they brought him his first meal, which he ate +heartily, and slept a little during the night following. Next morning he +learnt that he could have no part of his property, not even a breviary +was, in that place, allowed to a priest, for they had no form of +religion there, and for that reason he could not have a book. His hair +was cropped close; and therefore "he did not need a comb." + +"Thus began his acquaintance with the holy house, which he describes +as "great and magnificent," on one side of the great space before the +church of St Catharine. There were three gates in front; and, it was +by the central, or largest, that the prisoners entered, and mounted a +stately flight of steps, leading into the great hall. The side gates +provided entrance to spacious ranges of apartments, belonging to the +inquisitors. Behind the principal building, was another, very spacious, +two stories high, and consisting of double rows of cells, opening into +galleries that ran from end to end. The cells on the ground-floor were +very small, without any aperture from without for light or air. Those of +the upper story were vaulted, white-washed, had a small strongly grated +window, without glass, and higher than the tallest man could reach. +Towards the gallery every cell was shut with two doors, one on the +inside, the other one outside of the wall. The inner door folded, was +grated at the bottom, opened towards the top for the admission of food +and was made fast with very strong bolts. The outer door was not so +thick, had no window, but was left open from six o'clock every morning +until eleven--a necessary arrangement in that climate, unless it were +intended to destroy life by suffocation. + +"To each prisoner was given as earthen pot with water wherewith to wash, +another full of water to drink, with a cup; a broom, a mat whereon +to lie, and a large basin with a cover, changed every fourth day. The +prisoners had three meals a day; and their health so far as food could +contribute to it in such a place, was cared for in the provision of +a wholesome, but spare diet. Physicians were at hand to render all +necessary assistance to the sick, as were confessors, ready to wait +upon the dying; but they gave no viaticum, performed no unction, said +no mass. The place was under an impenetrable interdict. If any died, +and that many did die is beyond question, his death was unknown to all +without; he was buried within the walls without any sacred ceremony; +and if, after death, he was found to have died in heresy, his bones were +taken up at the next Auto, to be burned. Unless there happened to be +an unusual number of prisoners, each one was alone in his own cell. He +might not speak, nor groan, nor sob aloud, nor sigh. [Footnote: Limborch +relates that on one occasion, a poor prisoner was heard to cough; the +jailer of the Inquisition instantly repaired to him, and warned him to +forbear, as the slightest noise was not tolerated in that house. The +poor man replied that it was not in his power to forbear; a second time +they admonished him to desist; and when again, unable to do otherwise, +he repeated the offence, they stripped him naked, and cruelly beat him. +This increased his cough, for which they beat him so often, that at last +he died through pain and anguish of the stripes he had received.] His +breathing might be audible when the guard listened at the grating, but +nothing more. Four guards were stationed in each long gallery, open, +indeed, at each end, but awfully silent, as if it were the passage of +a catacomb. If, however, he wanted anything, he might tap at the inner +door, when a jailer would come to hear the request, and would report to +the alcayde, but was not permitted to answer. If one of the victims, in +despair, or pain, or delirium, attempted to pronounce a prayer, even to +God, or dared to utter a cry, the jailers would run to the cell, rush +in, and beat him cruelly, for terror to the rest. Once in two months the +inquisitor, with a secretary and an interpreter, visited the prisons, +and asked each prisoner if he wanted anything, if his meat was regularly +brought, and if he had any complaint against the jailers. His want after +all lay at the mercy of the merciless. His complaint, if uttered, would +bring down vengeance, rather than gain redress. But in this visitation +the holy office professed mercy with much formality, and the +inquisitorial secretary collected notes which aided in the crimination, +or in the murder of their victims. + +"The officers of Goa were;--the inquisidor mor or grand inquisitor, who +was always a secular priest; the second inquisitor, Dominican friar; +several deputies, who came, when called for, to assist the inquisitors +at trials, but never entered without such a summons; qualifiers, +as usual, to examine books and writings, but never to witness an +examination of the living, or be present at any act of the kind; a +fiscal; a procurator; advocates, so called, for the accused; notaries +and familiars. The authority of this tribunal was absolute in Goa. +There does not appear to have been anything peculiar in the manner of +examining and torturing at Goa where the practice coincided with that of +Portugal and Spain. + +"The personal narrative of Dellon affords a distinct exemplification of +the sufferings of the prisoners. He had been told that, when he desired +an audience, he had only to call a jailer, and ask it, when it would be +allowed him. But, notwithstanding many tears and entreaties, he could +not obtain one until fifteen days had passed away. Then came the alcayde +and one of his guards. This alcayde walked first out of the cell; Dellon +uncovered and shorn, and with legs and feet bare, followed him; the +guard walked behind. The alcayde just entered the place of audience, +made a profound reverence, stepped back and allowed his charge to enter. +The door closed, and Dellon remained alone with the inquisitor and +secretary. He knelt; but Don Fernando sternly bade him to sit on a +bench, placed there for the use of the culprits. Near him, on a table, +lay a missal, on which they made him lay his hand, and swear to keep +secrecy, and tell them the truth. They asked if he knew the cause of his +imprisonment, and whether he was resolved to confess it. He told +them all he could recollect of unguarded sayings at Damaun, either in +argument or conversation, without ever, that he knew, contradicting, +directly or indirectly, any article of faith. He had, at some time +dropped an offensive word concerning the Inquisition, but so light a +word, that it did not occur to his remembrance. Don Fernando told him he +had done well in ACCUSING HIMSELF so willingly, and exhorted him in the +name of Jesus Christ, to complete his self accusation fully, to the end +that he might experience the goodness and mercy which were used in +that tribunal towards those who showed true repentance by a sincere +and UNFORCED confession. The secretary read aloud the confession and +exhortation, Dellon signed it, Don Fernando rang a silver bell, the +alcayde walked in, and, in a few moments, the disappointed victim was +again in his dungeon. + +"At the end of another fortnight, and without having asked for it, he +was again taken to audience. After a repetition of the former questions, +he was asked his name, surname, baptism, confirmation, place of abode, +in what parish? in what diocess? under what bishop? They made him kneel, +and make the sign of the cross, repeat the Pater Noster, Hail Mary, +creed, commandments of God, commandments of the church, and Salve +Begins. He did it all very cleverly, and even to their satisfaction; +but the grand inquisitor exhorted him, by the tender mercies of our Lord +Jesus Christ, to confess without delay, and sent him to the cell again. +His heart sickened. They required him to do what was impossible--to +confess more, after he had acknowledged ALL. In despair, he tried to +starve himself to death; 'but they compelled him to take food.' Day and +night he wept, and at length betook himself to prayer, imploring pity +of the 'blessed Virgin,' whom he imagined to be, of all beings, the most +merciful, and the most ready to give him help. + +"At the end of a month, he succeeded in obtaining another audience, and +added to his former confessions what he had remembered, for the first +time, touching the Inquisition. But they told him that that was not what +they wanted, and sent him back again. This was intolerable. In a frenzy +of despair he determined to commit suicide, if possible. Feigning +sickness, be obtained a physician who treated him for a fever, and +ordered him to be bled. Never calmed by any treatment of the physician, +blood-letting was repeated often, and each time he untied the bandage, +when left alone, hoping to die from loss of blood, but death fled from +him. A humane Franciscan came to confess him, and, hearing his tale of +misery, gave him kind words, asked permission to divulge his attempt +at self-destruction to the inquisitor, procured him a mitigation of +solitude by the presence of a fellow-prisoner, a negro, accused of +magic; but, after five months, the negro was removed, and his mind, +broken with suffering, could no longer bear up under the aggravated +load. By an effort of desperate ingenuity he almost succeeded in +committing suicide, and a jailer found him weltering in his blood and +insensible. Having restored him by cordials, and bound up his wounds, +they carried him into the presence of the inquisitor once more; where he +lay on the floor, being unable to sit, heard bitter reproaches, had his +limbs confined in irons, and was thus carried back to a punishment that +seemed more terrible than death. In fetters he became so furious, that +they found it necessary to take them off, and, from that time, his +examinations assumed another character, as he defended his positions +with citations from the Council of Trent, and with some passages of +scripture, which he explained in the most Romish sense, discovering +a depth of ignorance in Don Fernando that was truly surprising. That +'grand Inquisitor,' had never heard the passage which Dellon quoted to +prove the doctrine of baptismal regeneration, 'Except a man be born +of water and of the Spirit, he cannot enter into the kingdom of God.' +Neither did he know anything of that famous passage in the twenty-fifth +session of the Council of Trent, which declares that images are only to +be reverenced on account of the persons whom they represent. He +called for a Bible, and for the acts of the council, and was evidently +surprised when he found them where Dellon told him they might be seen. + +"The time for a general auto drew near. During the months of November +and December, 1675, he heard every morning the cries of persons under +torture, and afterwards saw many of them, both men and women, lame and +distorted by the rack. On Sunday January 11th, 1676, he was surprised +by the jailer refusing to receive his linen to be washed--Sunday being +washing-day in the 'holy house.' While perplexing himself to think +what that could mean, the cathedral bells rang for vespers, and then, +contrary to custom, rang again for matins. He could only account for +that second novelty by supposing that an auto would be celebrated the +next day. They brought him supper, which he refused, and, contrary to +their wont at all other times, they did not insist on his taking it, but +carried it away. Assured that those were all portents of the horrible +catastrophe, and reflecting on often-repeated threats in the audience +chamber that he should be burnt, he gave himself up to death, and +overwhelmed with sorrow, fell asleep a little before midnight. + +"Scarcely had he fallen asleep when the alcayde and guards entered the +cell, with great noise, bringing a lamp, for the first time since his +imprisonment that they had allowed a lamp to shine there. The alcayde, +laying down a suit of clothes, bade him put them on, and be ready to go +out when he came again. At two o'clock in the morning they returned, and +he issued from the cell, clad in a black vest and trowsers, striped with +white, and his feet bare. About two hundred prisoners, of whom he +was one, were made to sit on the floor, along the sides of a spacious +gallery, all in the same black livery, and just visible by the +gleaming of a few lamps. A large company of women were also ranged in a +neighboring gallery in like manner. But they were all motionless, and +no one knew his doom. Every eye was fixed, and each one seemed benumbed +with misery. + +"A third company Dellon perceived in a room not far distant, but they +were walking about, and some appeared to have long habits. Those were +persons condemned to be delivered to the secular arm, and the long +habits distinguished confessors busily collecting confessions in order +to commute that penalty for some other scarcely less dreadful. At four +o'clock, servants of the house came, with guards, and gave bread and +figs to those who would accept the refreshment. One of the guards gave +Dellon some hope of life by advising him to take what was offered, +which he had refused to do. 'Take your bread,' said the man, 'and if you +cannot eat it now, put it in your pocket; you will be certainly hungry +before you return.' This gave hope, that he should not end the day at +the stake, but come back to undergo penance. + +"A little before sunrise, the great bell of the cathedral tolled, and +its sound soon aroused the city of Goa. The people ran into the streets, +lining the chief thoroughfares, and crowding every place whence a view +could be had of the procession. Day broke, and Dellon saw the faces +of his fellow-prisoners, most of whom were Indians. He could only +distinguish, by their complexion, about twelve Europeans. Every +countenance exhibited shame, fear, grief, or an appalling blackness of +apathy, AS IF DIRE SUFFERING IN THE LIGHTLESS DUNGEONS UNDERNEATH HAD +BEREFT THEM OF INTELLECT. The company soon began to move, but slowly, +as one by one the alcayde led them towards the door of the great hall, +where the grand inquisitor sat, and his secretary called the name of +each as he came, and the name of a sponsor, who also presented himself +from among a crowd of the bettermost inhabitants of Goa, assembled there +for that service. 'The general of the Portuguese ships in the Indies' +had the honor of placing himself beside our Frenchman. As soon as the +procession was formed, it marched off in the usual order. + +"First, the Dominicans, honored with everlasting precedence on all such +occasions, led the way. Singing-boys also preceded, chanting a litany. +The banner of the Inquisition was intrusted to their hands. After the +banner walked the penitents--a penitent and a sponsor, two and two. A +cross bearer brought up the train, carrying a crucifix aloft, turned +towards them, in token of pity; and, on looking along the line, you +might have seen another priest going before the penitents with a +crucifix turned backwards, inviting their devotions. They to whom the +Inquisition no longer afforded mercy, walked behind the penitents, and +could only see an averted crucifix. These were condemned to be burnt +alive at the stake! On this occasion there were but two of this class, +but sometimes a large number were sentenced to this horrible death, and +presented to the spectator a most pitiable spectacle. Many of them +bore upon their persons the marks of starvation, torture, terror, and +heart-rending grief. Some faces were bathed in tears, while others +came forth with a smile of conquest on the countenance and words of +triumphant faith bursting from the lips. These, however, were known as +dogmatizers, and were generally gagged, the month being filled with a +piece of wood kept in by a strong leather band fastened behind the head, +and the arms tied together behind the back. Two armed familiars walked +or rode beside each of these, and two ecclesiastics, or some other +clerks or regulars, also attended. After these, the images of heretics +who had escaped were carried aloft, to be thrown into the flames; and +porters came last, tagging under the weight of boxes containing the +disinterred bodies on which the execution of the church had fallen, and +which were also to be burnt. + +"Poor Dellon went barefoot, like the rest, through the streets of Goa, +rough with little flint stones scattered about, and sorely were his feet +wounded during an hour's march up and down the principal streets. Weary, +covered with shame and confusion, the long train of culprits entered +the church of St. Francis, where preparation was made for the auto, the +climate of India not permitting a celebration of that solemnity +under the burning sky. They sat with their sponsors, in the galleries +prepared, sambenitos, grey zamarras with painted flames and devils, +corozas, tapers, and all the other paraphernalia of an auto, made up a +woeful spectacle. The inquisitor and other personages having taken their +seats of state, the provincial of the Augustinians mounted the pulpit +and delivered the sermon. Dellon preserved but one note of it. The +preacher compared the Inquisition to Noah's ark, which received all +sorts of beasts WILD, but sent them out TAME. The appearance of hundreds +who had been inmates of that ark certainly justified the figure. + +"After the sermon, two readers went up, one after the other, into the +same pulpit, and, between them, they read the processes and pronounced +the sentences, the person standing before them, with the alcayde, and +holding a lighted taper in his hand. Dellon, in turn, heard the cause +of his long-suffering. He had maintained the invalidity of baptismus +flaminis, or desire to be baptised, when there is no one to administer +the rite of baptism by water. He had said that images ought not to be +adored, and that an ivory crucifix was a piece of ivory. He had spoken +contemptuously of the Inquisition. And, above all, he had an ill +intention. His punishment was to be confiscation of his property, +banishment from India, and five years' service in the galleys in +Portugal, with penance, as the inquisitors might enjoin. As all the +prisoners were excommunicate, the inquisitor, after the sentence had +been pronounced, put on his alb and stole, walked into the middle of the +church, and absolved them all at once. Dellon's sponsor, who would not +even answer him before, when he spoke, now embraced him, called him +brother, and gave him a pinch of snuff, in token of reconciliation. + +"But there were two persons, a man and a woman, for whom the church had +no more that they could do; and these, with four dead bodies, and the +effigies of the dead, were taken to be burnt on the Campo Santo Lazaro, +on the river side, the place appointed for that purpose, that the +viceroy might see justice done on the heretics, as he surveyed the +execution from his palace-windows." + +The remainder of Dellon's history adds nothing to what we have already +heard of the Inquisition. He was taken to Lisbon, and, after working in +a gang of convicts for some time, was released on the intercession of +some friends in France with the Portuguese government. With regard to +his despair, and attempts to commit suicide, when in the holy house, +we may observe that, as he states, suicide was very frequent there. +The contrast of his disconsolate impatience with the resignation and +constancy of Christian confessors in similar circumstances, is obvious. +As a striking illustration of the difference between those who suffer +without a consciousness of divine favor, and those who rejoice with joy +unspeakable and full of glory, we would refer the reader to that noble +band of martyrs who suffered death at the stake, at the Auto held in +Seville, on Sunday, September 24, 1559. At that time twenty-one +were burnt, followed by one effigy, and eighteen penitents, who were +released. + +"One of the former was Don Juan Gonzales, Presbyter of Seville, an +eminent preacher. With admirable constancy he refused to make any +declaration, in spite of the severe torture, saying that he had not +followed any erroneous opinions, but that he had drawn his faith from +the holy Scriptures; and for this faith he pleaded to his tormentors in +the words of inspiration. He maintained that he was not a heretic, but +a Christian, and absolutely refused to divulge anything that would bring +his brethren into trouble. Two sisters of his were also brought out to +this Auto, and displayed equal faith. They would confess Christ, they +said, and suffer with their brother, whom they revered as a wise and +holy man. They were all tied to stakes on the quemadero, a piece of +pavement, without the walls of the city, devoted to the single use of +burning human victims. Sometimes this quemadero [Footnote: Llorente, the +historian of the Spanish Inquisition, says, "So many persons were to be +put to death by fire, the governor of Seville caused a permanent raised +platform of masonry to be constructed outside the city, which has +lasted to our time (until the French revolution) retaining its name of +Quemadero, or burning-place, and at the four corners four large hollow +stalutes of limestone, within which they used to place the impenitent +alive, that they might die by slow fires."] was a raised platform of +stone, adorned with pillows or surrounded with statues, to distinguish +and beautify the spot. Just as the fire was lit, the gag, which had +hitherto silenced Don Juan, was removed, and as the flames burst from +the fagots, he said to his sisters, 'Let us sing, Deus laudem meam ne +tacueris.' And they sang together, while burning, 'Hold not thy peace, +O God of my praise; for the mouth of the wicked and the mouth of the +deceitful are opened against me: they have spoken against me with a +lying tongue.' Thus they died in the faith of Christ, and of his holy +gospel." + + + + +APPENDIX IV. + +INQUISITION OF GOA, CONCLUDED. + +The Inquisition of Goa continued its Autos for a century after the +affair of Dellon. In the summer of 1808, Dr. Claudius Buchanan visited +that city, and had been unexpectedly invited by Joseph a Doloribus, +second and most active inquisitor, to lodge with him during his +visit. Not without some surprise, Dr. Buchanan found himself, heretic, +schismatic, and rebel as he was, politely entertained by so dread a +personage. Regarding his English visitor merely as a literary man, or +professing to do so, Friar Joseph, himself well educated, seemed to +enjoy his company, and was unreservedly communicative on every subject +not pertaining to his own vocation. When that subject was first +introduced by an apparently incidental question, he did not hesitate +to return the desired information, telling Dr. Buchanan that the +establishment was nearly as extensive as in former times. In the library +of the chief inquisitor he saw a register containing the names of all +the officers, who still were numerous. + +On the second evening after his arrival, the doctor was surprised to see +his host come from his apartment, clothed in black robes from head to +foot, instead of white, the usual color of his order (Augustinian). He +said that he was going to sit on the tribunal of the holy office, and it +transpired that, so far from his "august office" not occupying much of +his time, he had to sit there three or four days every week. After his +return, in the evening, the doctor put Dellon's book into his hand, +asking him if he had ever seen it. He had never seen it before, and, +after reading aloud and slowly, "Relation de l'Inquisition de Goa," +began to peruse it with eagerness. + +While Dr. Buchanan employed himself in writing, Friar Joseph devoured +page after page; but as the narrative proceeded, betrayed evident +symptoms of uneasiness. He then turned to the middle, looked at the end, +skimmed over the table of contents, fixed on its principal passages, +and at one place exclaimed, in his broad Italian accent, "Mendacium! +mendacium.'" The doctor requested him to mark the passages that were +untrue, proposed to discuss them afterwards, and said he had other books +on the subject. The mention of other books startled him; he looked up +anxiously at some books on the table, and then gave himself up to the +perusal of Dellon's "Relation," until bedtime. Even then, he asked +permission to take it to his chamber. + +The doctor had fallen asleep under the roof of the inquisitor's convent, +confident, under God, in the protection at that time guaranteed to +a British subject, his servants sleeping in the gallery outside +the chamber-door. About midnight, he was waked by loud shrieks and +expressions of terror from some one in the gallery. In the first moment +of surprise, he concluded it must be the alguazils of the holy office +seizing his servants to carry them to the Inquisition. But, on going +out, he saw the servants standing at the door, and the person who +had caused the alarm, a boy of about fourteen, at a little distance, +surrounded by some of the priests, who had come out of their cells on +hearing the noise. The boy said he had seen a spectre; and it was a +considerable time before the agitations of his body and voice +subsided. Next morning at breakfast, the inquisitor apologized for +the disturbance, and said the boy's alarm proceeded from a phantasma +animi,--phantom of the imagination. + +It might have been so. Phantoms might well haunt such a place. As to +Dellon's book, the inquisitor acknowledged that the descriptions +were just; but complained that he had misjudged the motives of the +inquisitors, and written uncharitably of Holy Church. Their conversation +grew earnest, and the inquisitor was anxious to impress his visitor with +the idea that the Inquisition had undergone a change in some respects, +and that its terrors were mitigated. At length Dr. Buchanan plainly +requested to see the Inquisition, that he might judge for himself as to +the humanity shown to the inmates,--according to the inquisitor,--and +gave, as a reason why he should be satisfied, his interest in the +affairs of India, on which he had written, and his purpose to write on +them again, in which case he could scarcely be silent concerning the +Inquisition. The countenance of his host fell; but, after some further +observations, he reluctantly promised to comply. Next morning, after +breakfast, Joseph a Doloribus went to dress for the holy office, and +soon returned in his black robes. He said he would go half an hour +before the usual time, for the purpose of showing him the Inquisition. +The doctor fancied he looked more severe than usual, and that his +attendants were not as civil as before. But the truth was, that the +midnight scene still haunted him. They had proceeded in their palanquins +to the holy house, distant about a quarter of a mile from the convent, +and the inquisitor said as they were ascending the steps of the great +entrance, that he hoped the doctor would be satisfied with a transient +view of the Inquisition, and would retire when he should desire him to +do so. The doctor followed with tolerable confidence, towards the +great hall aforementioned, where they were met by several well-dressed +persons, familiars, as it afterwards appeared, who bowed very low to the +inquisitor, and looked with surprise at the stranger. Dr. Buchanan paced +the hall slowly, and in thoughtful silence; the inquisitor thoughtful +too, silent and embarrassed. A multitude of victims seemed to haunt the +place, and the doctor could not refrain from breaking silence. "Would +not the Holy Church wish, in her mercy, to have those souls back again, +that she might allow them a little further probation?" The inquisitor +answered nothing, but beckoned him to go with him to a door at one end +of the hall. By that door he conducted him to some small rooms, and +thence, to the spacious apartments of the chief inquisitor. Having +surveyed those, he brought him back again to the great hall, and seemed +anxious that the troublesome visitor should depart; but only the very +words of Dr. B. can adequately describe the close of this extraordinary +interview." + +"Now, father," said I, "lead me to the dungeons below: I want to see the +captives." "No," said he, "that cannot be." I now began to suspect that +it had been in the mind of the inquisitor, from the beginning, to show +me only a certain part of the Inquisition, in the hope of satisfying +my inquiries in a general way. I urged him with earnestness; but he +steadily resisted, and seemed offended, or, rather, agitated, by my +importunity. I intimated to him plainly, that the only way to do justice +to his own assertion and arguments regarding the present state of the +Inquisition, was to show me the prisons and the captives. I should +then describe only what I saw; but now the subject was left in awful +obscurity. "Lead me down," said I, "to the inner building, and let me +pass through the two hundred dungeons, ten feet square, described by +your former captives. Let me count the number of your present captives, +and converse with them. I WANT, TO SEE IF THERE BE ANY SUBJECTS OF THE +BRITISH GOVERNMENT, TO WHOM WE OWE PROTECTION. I want to ask how long +they have been there, how long it is since they have seen the light +of the sun, and whether they ever expect to see it again. Show me the +chamber of torture, and declare what modes of execution or punishment +are now practiced inside the walls of the Inquisition, in lieu of the +public Auto de Fe. If, after all that has passed, father, you resist +this reasonable request, I should be justified in believing that you are +afraid of exposing the real state of the Inquisition in India." + +To these observations the inquisitor made no reply; but seemed impatient +that I should withdraw. "My good father," said I; "I am about to take +my leave of you, and to thank you for your hospitable attentions; and I +wish to preserve on my mind a favorable sentiment of your kindness and +candor. You cannot, you say, show me the captives and the dungeons; be +pleased, then, merely to answer this question, for I shall believe +your word: how many prisoners are there now below in the cells of the +Inquisition?" He replied, "That is a question which I cannot answer." +On his pronouncing these words, I retired hastily towards the door, and +wished him farewell. We shook hands with as much cordiality as we could, +at the moment, assume; and both of us, I believe, were sorry that our +parting took place with a clouded countenance. + +After leaving the inquisitor, Dr. Buchanan, feeling as if he could +not refrain from endeavoring to get another and perhaps a nearer view, +returned to avail himself of the pretext afforded by a promise from +the chief inquisitor, of a letter to one of the British residents at +Travancore, in answer to one which he had brought him from that officer. +The inquisitors he expected to find within, in the "board of the holy +office." The door-keepers surveyed him doubtfully, but allowed him to +pass. He entered the great hall, went up directly to the lofty crucifix +described by Dellon, sat down on a form, wrote some notes, and then +desired an attendant to carry in his name to the inquisitor. As he was +walking across the hall, he saw a poor woman sitting by the wall. She +clasped her hands, and looked at him imploringly. The sight chilled +his spirits; and as he was asking the attendants the cause of her +apprehension,--for she was awaiting trial,--Joseph a Doloribus came, in +answer to his message, and was about to complain of the intrusion, +when he parried the complaint by asking for the letter from the chief +inquisitor. He promised to send it after him, and conducted him to the +door. As they passed the poor woman, the doctor pointed to her, and said +with emphasis, "Behold, father, another victim of the Holy Inquisition." +The other answered nothing; they bowed, and separated without a word. + +When Dr. Buchanan published his "Christian Researches in Asia," in the +year 1812, the Inquisition still existed at Goa; but the establishment +of constitutional government in Portugal, put an end to it throughout +the whole Portuguese dominions. + + + + +APPENDIX V. + +INQUISITION AT MACERATA, ITALY. NARRATIVE OF MR. BOWER. METH. MAG. THIRD +VOL. + + +I never pretended that it was for the sake of religion alone, that I +left Italy, On the contrary, I have often declared, that, had I never +belonged to the Inquisition, I should have gone on, as most Roman +Catholics do, without ever questioning the truth of the religion I was +brought up in, or thinking of any other. But the unheard of cruelties +of that hellish tribunal shocked me beyond all expression, and rendered +me,--as I was obliged, by my office of Counsellor, to be accessary to +them,--one of the most unhappy men upon earth. I therefore began +to think of resigning my office; but as I had on several occasions, +betrayed some weakness as they termed it, that is, some compassion and +humanity, and had upon that account been reprimanded by the Inquisitor, +I was well apprized that my resignation would be ascribed by him to +my disapproving the proceedings of the holy tribunal. And indeed, to +nothing else could it be ascribed, as a place at that board was a +sure way to preferment, and attended with great privileges, and a +considerable salary. Being, therefore, sensible how dangerous a thing it +would be to give the least ground for any suspicions of that nature, +and no longer able to bear the sight of the many barbarities practised +almost daily within those walls, nor the reproaches of my conscience for +being accessary to them, I determined, after many restless nights, and +much deliberation, to withdraw at the same time from the Inquisition, +and from Italy. In this mind, and in the most unhappy and tormenting +situation that can possibly be imagined, I continued near a +twelve-month, not able to prevail on myself to execute the resolution +I had taken on account of the many dangers which I foresaw would +inevitably attend it, and the dreadful consequences of my failing in +the attempt. But, being in the mean time ordered by the Inquisitor, to +apprehend a person with whom I had lived in the greatest intimacy and +friendship, the part I was obliged to act on that occasion, left so deep +an impression on my mind as soon prevailed over all my fears, and made +me determine to put into execution, at all events, and without delay, +the design I had formed. Of that transaction I shall give a particular +account, as it will show in a very strong light the nature and +proceedings of that horrid court. + +The person whom the Inquisitor appointed me to apprehend was Count +Vicenzo della Torre, descended from an illustrious family in Germany, +and possessed of a very considerable estate in the territory of +Macerata. He was one of my very particular friends, and had lately +married the daughter of Signior Constantini, of Fermo, a lady no less +famous for her good sense than her beauty. With her family too, I had +contracted an intimate acquaintance, while Professor of Rhetoric in +Fermo, and had often attended the Count during his courtship, from +Macerata to Fermo, but fifteen miles distant. I therefore lived with +both in the greatest friendship and intimacy; and the Count was the +only person that lived with me, after I was made Counsellor of the +Inquisition, upon the same free footing as he had done till that time. +My other friends had grown shy of me, and gave me plainly to understand +that they no longer cared for my company. + +As this unhappy young gentleman was one day walking with another, he met +two Capuchin friars, and turning to his companion, when they had passed, +"what fools," said he, "are these, to think they shall gain heaven by +wearing sackcloth and going barefoot! Fools indeed, if they think so, +or that there is any merit in tormenting one's self; they might as well +live as we do, and they would get to heaven quite as soon." Who informed +against him, whether the friars, his companion, or somebody else, I +know not; for the inquisitors never tell the names of informers to the +Counsellors, nor the names of the witnesses, lest they should except +against them. It is to be observed, that all who hear any proposition +that appears to them repugnant to, or inconsistent with the doctrines of +holy mother church, are bound to reveal it to the Inquisitor, and also +to discover the person by whom it was uttered; and, in this affair no +regard is to be had to any ties, however sacred. The brother being bound +to accuse the brother, the father the son, the son the father, the wife +her husband, and the husband his wife; and all bound on pain of eternal +damnation, and of being treated as accomplices if they do not denounce +in a certain time; and no confessor can absolve a person who has heard +anything said in jest or in earnest, against the belief or practice +of the church, till that person has informed the Inquisitor of it, and +given him all the intelligence he can concerning the person by whom it +was spoken. + +Whoever it was that informed against my unhappy friend, whether the +friars, his companion, or somebody else who might have overheard him, +the Inquisitor acquainted the board one night, (for to be less observed, +they commonly meet, out of Rome, in the night) that the above mentioned +propositions had been advanced, and advanced gravely, at the sight of +two poor Capuchins; that the evidence was unexceptionable; and that +they were therefore met to determine the quality of the proposition, and +proceed against the delinquent. + +There are in each Inquisition twelve Counsellors, viz: four Divines, +four Canonists, and four Civilians. It is chiefly the province of the +divines to determine the quality of the proposition, whether it is +heretical, or only savors of heresy; whether it is blasphemous and +injurious to God and His saints or only erroneous, rash, schismatical, +or offensive to pious ears. The part of the proposition, "Fools! if +they think there is any merit in tormenting one's self," was judged and +declared heretical, as openly contradicting the doctrine and practice of +holy mother church recommending austerities as highly meritorious. The +Inquisitor observed, on this occasion, that by the proposition, "Fools +indeed" &c., were taxing with folly, not only the holy fathers, who had +all to a man practised great austerities, but St. Paul himself as the +Inquisitor understood it, adding that the practice of whipping one's +self, so much recommended by all the founders of religious orders, was +borrowed of the great apostle of the gentiles. + +The proposition being declared heretical, it was unanimously agreed by +the board that the person who had uttered it should be apprehended, and +proceeded against agreeably to the laws of the Inquisition. And now the +person was named; for, till it is determined whether the accused person +should or should not be apprehended, his name is kept concealed from +the counsellors, lest they should be biased, says the directory, in +his favor, or against him. For, in many instances, they keep up an +appearance of justice and equity, at the same time that, in truth, they +act in direct opposition to all the known laws of justice and equity. +No words can express the concern and astonishment it gave me to hear, +on such an occasion, the name of a friend for whom I had the greatest +esteem and regard. The Inquisitor was apprised of it; and to give me an +opportunity of practising what he had so often recommended to me, viz. +conquering nature with the assistance of grace, he appointed me to +apprehend the criminal, as he styled him, and to lodge him safe, before +daylight, in the prison of the holy inquisition. I offered to excuse +myself, but with the greatest submission, from being in any way +concerned in the execution of that order; an order, I said, which I +entirely approved of, but only wished it might be put in execution by +some other person; for your lordship knows, I said, the connection. But +the Inquisitor shocked at the word, said with a stern look and angry +tone of voice, "What! talk of connections where the faith is concerned? +There is your guard," (pointing to the Sbirri or bailiffs in waiting) +"let the criminal be secured in St. Luke's cell," (one of the worst,) +"before three in the morning." He then withdrew, and as he passed me +said, "Thus, nature is conquered." I had betrayed some weakness or sense +of humanity, not long before, in fainting away while I attended the +torture of one who was racked with the utmost barbarity, and I had on +that occasion been reprimanded by the Inquisitor for suffering nature +to get the better of grace; it being an inexcusable weakness, as he +observed, to be in any degree affected with the suffering of the body, +however great, when afflicted, as they ever are in the Holy Inquisition, +for the good of the soul. And it was, I presume, to make trial of the +effect of that reprimand, that the execution of this cruel order was +committed to me. As I could by no possible means decline it, I summoned +all my resolution, after passing an hour by myself, I may say in the +agonies of death, and set out a little after two in the morning for my +unhappy friend's house, attended by a notary of the Inquisition, and six +armed Sbirri. We arrived at the house by different ways and knocking +at the door, a maid-servant looked out of the window, and asked who +knocked. "The Holy Inquisition," was the answer, and at the same time +she was ordered to awake nobody, but to come down directly and open the +door, on pain of excommunication. At these words, the servant hastened +down, half naked as she was, and having with much ado, in her great +fright, opened the door, she conducted us as she was ordered to her +master's chamber. She often looked very earnestly at me, as she knew me, +and showed a great desire to speak with me; but of her I durst take no +kind of notice. I entered the bed-chamber with the notary, followed by +the Sbirri, when the lady awakening at the noise, and seeing the bed +surrounded by armed men, screamed out aloud and continued screaming as +out of her senses, till one of the Sbirri, provoked at the noise gave +her a blow on the forehead that made the blood flow, and she swooned +away. I rebuked the fellow severely, and ordered him to be whipped as +soon as I returned to the Inquisition. + +In the mean time, the husband awakening, and seeing me with my +attendants, cried out, in the utmost surprise, "MR. BOWER!" He said no +more, nor could I for some time utter a single word; and it was with +much ado that, in the end I so far mastered my grief as to be able +to let my unfortunate friend know that he was a prisoner of the Holy +Inquisition. "Of the Holy Inquisition!" he replied. "Alas I what have I +done? My dear friend, be my friend now." He said many affecting things; +but as I knew it was not in my power to befriend him, I had not the +courage to look him in the face, but turning my back to him, withdrew, +while he dressed, to a corner of the room, to give vent to my grief. The +notary stood by, quite unaffected. Indeed, to be void of all humanity, +to be able to behold one's fellow-creatures groaning under the most +exquisite torments cruelty can invent, without being in the least +affected with their sufferings, is one of the chief qualifications of +an inquisitor, and what all who belong to the Inquisition must strive to +attain to. It often happens, at that infernal tribunal, that while the +unhappy, and probably innocent, person is crying out in their presence +on the rack, and begging by all that is sacred for one moment's relief, +in a manner one would think no human heart could withstand, it often +happens, I say, that the inquisitor and the rest of his infamous crew, +quite unaffected with his complaints, and deaf to his groans, to his +tears and entreaties, are entertaining one another with the news of the +town; nay, sometimes they even insult, with unheard of barbarity, the +unhappy wretches in the height of their torment. + +To return to my unhappy prisoner. He was no sooner dressed than I +ordered the Bargello, or head of the Sbirri, to tie his hands with +a cord behind his back, as is practised on such occasions without +distinction of persons; no more regard being paid to men of the first +rank, when charged with heresy, than to the meanest offender. Heresy +dissolves all friendship; so that I durst no longer look upon the man +with whom I had lived in the greatest friendship and intimacy as my +friend, or show him, on that account, the least regard or indulgence. + +As we left the chamber, the countess, who had been conveyed out of the +room, met us, and screaming out in the most pitiful manner upon seeing +her husband with his hands tied behind his back like a thief or robber, +flew to embrace him, and hanging on his neck, begged, with a flood of +tears, we would be so merciful as to put an end to her life, that she +might have the satisfaction--the only satisfaction she wished for in +this world, of dying in the bosom of the man from whom she had vowed +never to part. The count, overwhelmed with grief, did not utter a single +word. I could not find it in my heart, nor was I in a condition to +interpose; and indeed a scene of greater distress was never beheld by +human eyes. However, I gave a signal to the notary to part them, which +he did accordingly, quite unconcerned; but the countess fell into a +swoon, and the count was meantime carried down stairs, and out of the +house, amid the loud lamentations and sighs of his servants, on all +sides, for he was a man remarkable for the sweetness of his temper, and +his kindness to all around him. + +Being arrived at the Inquisition, I consigned my prisoner into the +hands of a gaoler, a lay brother of St. Dominic, who shut him up in the +dungeon above-mentioned, and delivered the key to me. I lay that night +at the palace of the Inquisition, where every counsellor has a room, and +returned next morning the key to the inquisitor, telling him that his +order had been punctually complied with. The inquisitor had been already +informed of my conduct by the notary, and therefore, upon my delivering +the key to him, he said, "You have acted like one who is at least +desirous to overcome, with the assistance of grace, the inclinations of +nature;" that is, like one who is desirous, by the assistance of grace, +to metamorphose himself from a human creature into a brute or a devil. + +In the Inquisition, every prisoner is kept the first week of his +imprisonment in a dark narrow dungeon, so low that he cannot stand +upright in it, without seeing anybody but the gaoler, who brings him, +EVERY OTHER DAY, his portion of bread and water, the only food allowed +him. This is done, they say, to tame him, and render him, thus weakened, +more sensible of the torture, and less able to endure it. At the end of +the week, he is brought in the night before the board to be examined; +and on that occasion my poor friend appeared so altered, in a week's +time, that, had it not been for his dress, I should not have known him. +And indeed no wonder; a change of condition so sudden and unexpected; +the unworthy and barbarous treatment he had already met with; the +apprehension of what he might and probably should suffer; and perhaps, +more than anything else, the distressed and forlorn condition of his +once happy wife, whom he tenderly loved, whose company he had enjoyed +only six months, could be attended with no other effect. + +Being asked, according to custom, whether he had any enemies, and +desired to name them, he answered, that he bore enmity to no man, and he +hoped no man bore enmity to him. For, as in the Inquisition the person +accused is not told of the charge brought against him, nor of the person +by whom it is brought, the inquisitor asks him if he has any enemies, +and desires him to name them. If he names the informer, all further +proceedings are stopped until the informer is examined anew; and if the +information is found to proceed from ill-will and no collateral proof +can be produced, the prisoner is discharged. Of this piece of justice +they frequently boast, at the same time that they admit, both as +informers and witnesses, persons of the most infamous characters, +and such as are excluded by all other courts. In the next place, the +prisoner is ordered to swear that he will declare the truth, and conceal +nothing from the holy tribunal, concerning himself or others, that he +knows and the holy tribunal desires to know. He is then interrogated for +what crime he has been apprehended and imprisoned by the Holy Court of +the Inquisition, of all courts the most equitable, the most cautious, +the most merciful. To that interrogatory the count answered, with a +faint and trembling voice, that he was not conscious to himself of any +crime, cognizable by the Holy Court, nor indeed by any other; that he +believed and ever had believed whatever holy mother church believed or +required him to believe. He had, it seems quite forgotten what he +had unthinkingly said at the sight of the two friars. The inquisitor, +therefore, finding that he did not remember or would not own his crime, +after many deceitful interrogatories, and promises which he never +intended to fulfil, ordered him back to his dungeon, and allowing him +another week, as is customary in such cases, to recollect himself, told +him that if he could not in that time prevail upon himself to declare +the truth, agreeably to his oath, means would be found of forcing it +from him; and he must expect no mercy. + +At the end of the week he was brought again before the infernal +tribunal; and being asked the same questions, returned the same answers, +adding, that if he had done or said anything amiss, unwittingly or +ignorantly, he was ready to own it, provided the least hint of it were +given him by any there present, which he entreated them most earnestly +to do. He often looked at me, and seemed to expect--which gave me such +concern as no words can express--that I should say something in his +favor. But I was not allowed to speak on this occasion, nor were any of +the counsellors; and had I been allowed to speak, I durst not have said +anything in his favor; the advocate appointed by the Inquisition, and +commonly styled, "The Devil's Advocate," being the only person that +is suffered to speak for the prisoner. The advocate belongs to the +Inquisition, receives a salary from the Inquisition, and is bound by an +oath to abandon the defence of the prisoner, if he undertakes it, or not +to undertake it, if he finds it cannot be defended agreeably to the laws +of the Holy Inquisition; go that the whole is mere sham and imposition. +I have heard this advocate, on other occasions, allege something in +favor of the person accused; but on this occasion he declared that he +had nothing to offer in defence of the criminal. + +In the Inquisition, the person accused is always supposed guilty, unless +he has named the accuser among his enemies. And he is put to the torture +if he does not plead guilty, and own the crime that is laid to his +charge, without being so much as told what it is; whereas, in all other +courts, where tortures are used, the charge is declared to the party +accused before he is tortured; nor are they ever inflicted without +a credible evidence of his guilt. But in the Inquisition, a man is +frequently tortured upon the deposition of a person whose evidence would +be admitted in no other court, and in all cases without hearing the +charge. As my unfortunate friend continued to maintain his innocence, +not recollecting what he had said, he was, agreeably to the laws of +the Inquisition, put to the torture. He had scarcely borne it twenty +minutes, crying out the whole time, "Jesus Maria!" when his voice failed +him at once, and he fainted away. He was then supported, as he hung +by his arms, by two of the Sbirri, whose province it is to manage the +torture, till he returned to himself. He still continued to declare that +he could not recollect his having said or done anything contrary to the +Catholic faith, and earnestly begged they would let him know with what +he was charged, being ready to own it if it was true. + +The Inquisitor was then so gracious as to put him in mind of what he had +said on seeing the two Capuchins. The reason why they so long conceal +from the party accused the crime he is charged with, is, that if he +should be conscious to himself of his having ever said or done anything +contrary to the faith, which he is not charged with, he may discover +that too, imagining it to be the very crime he is accused of. After a +short pause, the poor gentleman owned that he had said something to that +purpose; but, as he had said it with no evil intention, he had never +more thought of it, from that time to the present. He added, but with a +voice so faint, as scarce could be heard, that for his rashness he was +willing to undergo what punishment soever the holy tribunal should, +think fit to impose on him; and he again fainted away. Being eased for +a while of his torment, and returned to himself, he was interrogated by +the promoter fiscal (whose business it is to accuse and to prosecute, as +neither the informer nor the witnesses, are ever to appear,) concerning +his intention. For in the Inquisition, it is not enough for the party +accused to confess the fact, he must declare whether his intention was +heretical or not; and many, to redeem themselves from the torments +they, can no longer endure, own their intention was heretical, though +it really was not. My poor friend often told us, he was ready to say +whatever he pleased, but as he never directly acknowledged his intention +to have been heretical, as is required by the rules of the court, he +was kept on the torture still, quite overcome with the violence of the +anguish, he was ready to expire. Being taken down, he was carried quite +senseless, back to his dungeon, and there, on the third day, death put +an end to his sufferings. The Inquisitor wrote a note to his widow, to +desire her to pray for the soul of her late husband, and warn her not +to complain of the holy Inquisition, as capable of any injustice or +cruelty. The estate was confiscated to the Inquisition, and a small +jointure allowed out of it to the widow. As they had only been +married six months, and some part of the fortune was not yet paid, the +inquisitor sent an order to the Constantini family, at Ferno, to pay the +holy office, and without delay, what they owed to the late Count Della +Torre. The effects of heretics are all ipso facto confiscated to the +Inquisition from the very day, not of their conviction, but of their +crime, so that all donations made after that time are void; and whatever +they may have given, is claimed by the Inquisition, into whatsoever +hands it may have passed; even the fortunes they have given to their +daughters in marriage, have been declared to belong to, and are claimed +by the Inquisition; nor can it be doubted, that the desire of those +confiscations is one great cause of the injustice and cruelty of that +court. + +The death of the unhappy Count Della Torre was soon publicly known; but +no man cared to speak of it, not even his nearest relations, nor so much +as to mention his name, lest anything should inadvertently escape them +that might be construed into a disapprobation of the proceedings of the +most holy tribunal; so great is the awe all men live in of that jealous +and merciless court. + +The deep impression that the death of my unhappy friend, the barbarous +and inhuman treatment he had met with, and the part I had been obliged +to act in so affecting a tragedy, made on my mind, got at once the +better of my fears, so that, forgetting in a manner the dangers I had +till then so much apprehended, I resolved, without further delay to put +in execution the design I had formed, of quitting the Inquisition, and +bidding forever adieu to Italy. To execute that design with some safety, +I proposed to beg leave to visit the Virgin of Loretto, but thirteen +miles distant, and to pass a week there; but in the mean time, to make +the best of my way out of the reach of the Inquisition. + +Having, therefore, after many conflicts with myself, asked leave to +visit the neighboring sanctuary, and obtained it, I set out on horseback +the very next morning, leaving, as I proposed to keep the horse, his +full value with the owner. I took the road to Loretto, but turned out +of it a short distance from Recanati, after a most violent struggle with +myself, the attempt appearing to me at that juncture, quite desperate +and impracticable; and the dreadful doom reserved for me should I +miscarry, presented itself to my mind in the strongest light. But the +reflection that I had it in my power to avoid being taken alive, and +a persuasion that a man in my situation might lawfully avoid it, when +every other means failed him, at the expense of his life, revived my +staggered resolution; and all my fears ceasing at once, I steered my +course, leaving Loretto behind me, to Rocca Contrada, to Fossonbrone, to +Calvi in the dukedom of Urbino, and from thence through the Romagna into +Bolognese, keeping the by-roads, and at a good distance from the cities +through which the high road passed. + +Thus I advanced very slowly, travelling in very bad roads, and often in +places where there was no road at all, to avoid, not only the cities, +and towns, but also the villages. In the mean time I seldom had any +other support but some coarse provisions, and a very small quantity +even, of them, that the poor shepherds, the countrymen or wood cleavers +I met in those unfrequented by-places, could spare me. My horse fared +not much better than myself; but, in choosing my sleeping-place I +consulted his convenience as much as my own, passing the night where I +found most shelter for myself, and most grass for him. In Italy there +are very few solitary farm-houses or cottages, the country people all +living together in villages; and I thought it far safer to lie where I +could be in any way sheltered, than to venture into any of them. Thus I +spent seventeen days before I got out of the ecclesiastical state; and +I very narrowly escaped being taken or murdered, on the very borders of +that state; it happened thus. + +I had passed two whole days without any kind of subsistence whatever, +meeting with no one in the by-roads that could supply me with any, and +fearing to come near any house, as I was not far from the borders of the +dominions of the Pope. I thought I should be able to hold out till I +got into the Modanese, where I believed I should be in less danger than +while I remained in the papal dominions. But finding myself, about noon +of the third day, extremely weak and ready to faint away, I came into +the high road that leads from Bologna to Florence, a few miles distant +from the former city, and alighted at a post house, that stood quite +by itself. Having asked the woman of the house whether she had any +victuals, and being told that she had, I went to open the door of the +only room in the house, (that being a place where gentlemen only stop +to change horses,) and saw to my great surprise, a placard pasted on it, +with a minute description of my whole person, sad a promise of a reward +of 900 crowns (about 200 pounds English money) for delivering me up +alive to the Inquisition, being a fugitive from that holy tribunal, +and of 600 crowns for my head. By the same placard, all persons were +forbidden, on pain of the greater excommunication, to receive or +harbor, entertain, conceal, or screen me, or to be in any way aiding, or +assisting me to make my escape. This greatly alarmed me, as the reader +may well imagine; but I was still more frightened, when entering the +room, I saw two fellows drinking there, who, fixing their eyes on me as +soon as I went in, continued looking at me very steadfastly. I strove, +by wiping my face and blowing my nose, and by looking out of the window, +to prevent their having a full view of my features. But, one of +them saying, "The gentleman seems afraid to be seen," I put up my +handkerchief, and turning to the fellow, said boldly, "What do you mean +you rascal? Look at me; am I afraid to be seen?" He said nothing, but +looking again steadfastly at me, and nodding his head, went out, and +his companion immediately followed him. I watched them, and seeing them, +with two or three more, in close conference, and no doubt consulting +whether they should apprehend me or not, I walked that moment into +the stable, mounted my horse unobserved by them, and while they were +deliberating in an orchard behind the house, rode off at full speed, and +in a few hours got into the Modanese, where I refreshed both with food +and rest, as I was there in no immediate danger, my horse and myself. I +was indeed surprised to find that those fellows did not pursue me, nor +can I in any other way account for it, but by supposing, what is not +improbable, that, as they were strangers as well as myself, and had all +the appearance of banditti or ruffians flying out of the dominions of +the Pope, the woman of the house did not care to trust them with her +horses. From the Modanese I continued my journey, more leisurely through +the Parmesan, the Milanese, and part of the Venetian territory, to +Chiavenna, subject to the Grisons, who abhor the very name of the +Inquisition, and are ever ready to receive and protect all who, flying +from it, take refuge, as many Italians do, in their dominions. Still +I carefully concealed who I was, and whence I came, for, though no +Inquisition prevails among the Swiss, yet the Pope's nuncio who resides +at Lucerne, (a popish canton through which I was to pass,) might have +persuaded the magistrate to stop me as an apostate and deserter from the +order. + +Having rested a few days at Chiavenna, I resumed my journey quite +refreshed, continuing it through the country of the Grisons, and the two +small cantons of Ury and Underwald, to the canton of Lucerne. There +I missed my way, as I was quite unacquainted with the country, and +discovering a city at a distance, was advancing to it, but slowly, as I +knew not where I was, when a countryman whom I met, informed me that the +city before me was Lucerne. Upon that intelligence, I turned out of the +road as soon as the countryman was out of sight, and that night I +passed with a good natured shepherd in his cottage, who supplied me with +sheep's milk, and my horse with plenty of grass. I set out early next +morning, making my way westward, as I knew that Berne lay west of +Lucerne. But, after a few miles, the country proved very mountainous, +and having travelled the whole day over mountains I was overtaken among +them by night. As I was looking out for a place where I might shelter +myself during the night, against the snow and rain, (for it both snowed +and rained,) I perceived a light at a distance, and making towards it, +I got into a kind of foot-path, but so narrow and rugged that I was +obliged to lead my horse, and feel my way with one foot, (having no +light to direct me,) before I durst move the other. Thus, with much +difficulty I reached the place where the light was, a poor little +cottage, and knocking at the door, was asked by a man within who I was, +and what I wanted? I answered that I was a stranger and had lost my way. +"Lost your way!" exclaimed the man, "There is no way here to lose." I +then asked him what canton I was in? and upon his answering that I was +in the canton of Berne, I cried out transported with joy, "I thank God +that I am." The good man answered, "And so do I." I then told him who I +was, and that I was going to Berne but had quite lost myself by keeping +out of all the high roads, to avoid falling into the hands of those +who sought my destruction. He thereupon opened the door, received and +entertained me with all the hospitality his poverty would admit of; +regaled me with sour crout and some new laid eggs, the only provision +he had, and clean straw with a kind of rug for a bed, he having no other +for himself and wife. The good woman expressed as much good nature as +her husband, and said many kind things in the Swiss language, which +her husband interpreted to me in the Italian; for that language he well +understood, having learned it in his youth, while servant in a public +home on the borders of Italy, where both languages are spoken. I never +passed a more comfortable night; and no sooner did I begin to stir in +the morning, than the good man and his wife both came to know how +I rested; and, wishing they had been able to accommodate me better, +obliged me to breakfast on two eggs, which providence, they said, had +sent them for that purpose. I took leave of the wife, who seemed most +sincerely to wish me a good journey. As for the husband, he would by all +means attend me to the high road leading to Berne; which road he said +was but two miles distant from that place. But he insisted on my first +going back with him, to see the way I had come the night before; the +only way, he said, I could have possibly come from the neighboring +canton of Lucerne. I saw it, and shuddered at the danger I had escaped; +for I found I had walked and led my horse a good way along a very narrow +path on the brink of a very dangerous precipice. The man made so +many pertinent and pious remarks on the occasion, as both charmed and +surprised me. I no less admired his disinterestedness than his piety; +for, upon our parting, after he had attended me till I was out of all +danger of losing my way, I could by no means prevail upon him to accept +of any reward for his trouble. He had the satisfaction, he said, of +having relieved me in the greatest distress, which was in itself a +sufficient reward, and he wished for no other. + +Having at length got safe into French Flanders, I there repaired to the +college of the Scotch Jesuits at Douay, and discovering myself to the +rector, I acquainted him with the cause of my sudden departure from +Italy, and begged him to give notice of my arrival, as well as the +motives of my flight to Michael Angelo Tambuvini, general of the order, +and my very particular friend. + +The rector wrote as I desired him, to the general, and he, taking no +notice of my flight, in his answer, (for he could not disapprove, and +did not think it safe to approve of it,) ordered me to continue where I +was till further notice. I arrived at Douay early in May, and continued +there till the beginning of July, when the rector received a second +letter from the general, acquainting him that he had been commanded by +the congregation of the Inquisition, to order me, wherever I was, back +into Italy; to promise me, in their name, full pardon and forgiveness if +I obeyed, but if I did not obey, to treat me as an apostate. He added, +that the same order had been transmitted, soon after my flight, to +the nuncios at the different Roman Catholic courts; and he, therefore, +advised me to consult my own safety without further delay. + +Upon the receipt of the general's kind letter, the rector was of opinion +that I should repair by all means, and without loss of time, to England, +not only as the safest asylum I could fly to, in my present situation, +but as a place where I should soon recover my native language, and be +usefully employed, either there or in Scotland. The place being thus +agreed on, and it being at the same time settled between the rector and +me, that I should set out the very next morning, I solemnly promised, at +his request and desire, to take no kind of notice, after my arrival +in England, of his having been in any way privy to my flight, or the +general's letter to him. This promise I have faithfully and honorably +observed; and should have thought myself guilty of the blackest +ingratitude if I had not observed it, being sensible that, had it been +known at Rome, that, either the rector or general had been accessary to +my flight, THE INQUISITION WOULD HAVE RESENTED IT SEVERELY IN BOTH. For +although a Jesuit in France, in Flanders, or in Germany, is out of the +reach of the Inquisition, the general is not; and the high tribunal not +only have it in their power to punish the general himself, who resides +constantly at Rome, but may oblige him to inflict what punishment they +please on any of the order obnoxious to them. + +The rector went that very night out of town, and in his absence, but not +without his privity, I took one of the horses of the college, early +next morning, as if I were going for a change of air, being somewhat +indisposed, to pass a few days at Lisle; but steering a different +course, I reached Aire that night and Calais the next day. I was there +in no danger of being stopped and seized at the prosecution of the +Inquisition, a tribunal no less abhorred in France than in England. +But being informed that the nuncios at the different courts had been +ordered, soon after my flight, to cause me to be apprehended in Roman +Catholic countries through which I must pass, as an apostate and +deserter from the order, I was under no small apprehension of being +discovered and apprehended as such even at Calais. No sooner, therefore, +did I alight at the Inn, than I went down to the quay, and there as I +was very little acquainted with the sea, and thought the passage much +shorter than it is, I endeavored to engage some fishermen to carry me +that very night, in one of their small vessels, over to England. This +alarmed the guards of the harbor, and I should have been certainly +apprehended as a person guilty, or suspected of some great crime, +fleeing from justice, had not Lord Baltimore, whom I had the good luck +to meet in the Inn, informed me of my danger, and pitying my condition, +attended me that moment, with all his company, to the port, and conveyed +me immediately on board his yacht. There I lay that night, leaving every +thing I had but the clothes on my back, in the Inn; and the next day his +Lordship set me ashore at Dover, from whence I came in the common stage +to London. + +In the year 1706, the Inquisition at Arragon was broken up by the French +troops, under the command of the Duke of Orleans. The Holy Inquisitors +were driven from their beautiful house, and in answer to their indignant +remonstrance were told that the king wanted the house to quarter his +troops in, and they were therefore compelled to leave it immediately. +The doors of the prisons were then thrown open, and among the four +hundred prisoners who were set at liberty were sixty young women, very +beautiful in person, and clad in the richest attire. + +Anthony Gavin, formerly one of the Roman Catholic priests of Saragossa, +Spain, relates (in a book published by him after his conversion) that +when travelling in France he met one of those women in the inn at +Rotchfort; the son of the inn-keeper, formerly an officer in the French +army, having married her for her great beauty and superior intelligence. +In accordance with his request, she freely related to him the incidents +of her prison life, from which we take the following extract: + +"Early the next morning, Mary got up, and told me that nobody was up +yet in the house; and that she would show me the DRY PAN and the GRADUAL +FIRE, on condition that I should keep it a secret for her sake as well +as my own. This I promised, and she took me along with her, and showed +me a dark room with a thick iron door, and within it an oven and a large +brass pan upon it, with a cover of the same and a lock to it. The oven +was burning at the time, and I asked Mary for what purpose the pan was +there. Without giving me any answer, she took me by the hand and led +me to a large room, where she showed me a thick wheel, covered on both +sides with thick boards, and opening a little window in the center of +it, desired me to look with a candle on the inside of it, and I saw all +the circumference of the wheel set with SHARP RAZORS. After that she +showed me a PIT FULL OF SERPENTS AND TOADS. Then she said to me, 'Now, +my good mistress, I'll tell you the use of these things. The dry pan and +gradual fire are for those who oppose the holy father's will, and for +heretics. They are put naked and alive into the pan, and the cover of it +being locked up, the executioner begins to put in the oven a small fire, +and by degrees he augmenteth it, till the body is burned to ashes. The +second is designed for those who speak against the Pope and the holy +fathers. They are put within the wheel, and the door being locked, the +executioner turns the wheel till the person is dead. The third is for +those who contemn the images, and refuse to give the due respect and +veneration to ecclesiastical persons; for they are thrown alive into the +pit, and there they become the food of serpents and toads.' Then Mary +said to me that another day she would show me the torments for public +sinners and transgressors of the commandments of holy mother church; +but I, in deep amazement, desired her to show me no more places; for the +very thought of those three which I had seen, was enough to terrify me +to the heart. So we went to my room, and she charged me again to be very +obedient to all commands, for if I was not, I was sure to undergo the +torment of the dry pan." + +Llorente, the Spanish historian and secretary-general of the +Inquisition, relates the following incident: "A physician, Juan de +Salas, was accused of having used a profane expression, twelve months +before, in the heat of debate. He denied the accusation, and produced +several witnesses to prove his innocence. But Moriz, the inquisitor at +Valladolid, where the charge was laid, caused de Salas to be brought +into his presence in the torture-chamber, stripped to his shirt, and +laid on a LADDER or DONKEY, an instrument resembling a wooden trough, +just large enough to receive the body, with no bottom, but having a +bar or bars to placed that the body bent, by its own weight, into an +exquisitely painful position. His head was lower than his heels, and the +breathing, in consequence, became exceedingly difficult. The poor man, +so laid, was bound around the arms and legs with hempen cords, each of +them encircling the limb eleven times. + +"During this part of the operation they admonished him to confess the +blasphemy; but he only answered that he had never spoken a sentence +of such a kind, and then, resigning himself to suffer, repeated the +Athanasian creed, and prayed to God and our Lady many times. Being +still bound, they raised his head, covered his face with a piece of fine +linen, and, forcing open the mouth, caused water to drip into it from an +earthen jar, slightly perforated at the bottom, producing in addition +to his sufferings from distension, a horrid sensation of choking. But +again, when they removed the jar for a moment, he declared that he had +never uttered such a sentence; and this he often repeated. They then +pulled the cords on his right leg, cutting into the flesh, replaced the +linen on his face, dropped the water as before, and tightened the cords +on his right leg the second time; but still he maintained that he +had never spoken such a thing; and in answer to the questions of his +tormentors, constantly reiterated that he HAD NEVER SPOKEN THOSE WORDS. +Moriz then pronounced that the said torture should be regarded as +begun, but not finished; and De Salas was released, to live, if he could +survive, in the incessant apprehension that if he gave the slightest +umbrage to a familiar, he would be carried again into the same chamber, +and be RACKED IN EVERY LIMB." + +Llorente also relates, from the original records, another case quite as +cruel and unjust as the above. "On the 8th day of December, 1528, one +Catalina, a woman of BAD CHARACTER, informed the inquisitors that, +EIGHTEEN YEARS BEFORE she had lived in the house with a Morisco named +Juan, by trade a coppersmith, and a native of Segovia; that she had +observed that neither he nor his children ate pork or drank wine, and +that, on Saturday nights and Sunday mornings they used to wash their +feet, which custom, as well as abstinence from pork and wine, was +peculiar to the Moors. The old man was at that time an inhabitant of +Benevente, and seventy-one years of age. But the inquisitors at once +summoned him into their presence, and questioned him at three several +interviews. All that he could tell was, that he received baptism when he +was forty-five years of age; that having never eaten pork or drunk wine, +he had no taste for them; and that, being coppersmiths, they found it +necessary to wash themselves thoroughly once a week. After some other +examinations, they sent him back to Benevente, with prohibition to go +beyond three leagues' distance from the town. Two years afterwards the +inquisitor determined that he should be threatened with torture, IN +ORDER TO OBTAIN INFORMATION THAT MIGHT HELP THEM TO CRIMINATE OTHERS. +He was accordingly taken to Valladolid, and in a subterranean chamber, +called the 'chamber, or dungeon, of torment,' stripped naked, and bound +to the 'ladder.' This might well have extorted something like confession +from an old man of seventy-one; but he told them that whatever he might +say when under torture would be merely extorted by the extreme anguish, +and therefore unworthy of belief; that he would not, through fear of +pain, confess what had never taken place. They kept him in close prison +until the next Auto de Fe, when he walked among the penitents, with a +lighted candle in his hand, and, after seeing others burnt to death, +paid the holy office a fee of four ducats, and went home, not acquitted, +but released. He was not summoned again, as he died soon afterwards." + +It sometimes happened that an individual was arrested by mistake, and +a person who was entirely innocent was tortured instead of the real or +supposed criminal. A case of this kind Mr. Bower found related at length +in the "Annals of the Inquisition at Macerata." + +"An order was sent from the high tribunal at Rome to all the inquisitors +throughout Italy, enjoining them to apprehend a clergyman minutely +described in that order. One Answering the description in many +particulars being discovered in the diocese of Osimo, at a small +distance from Macerata, and subject to that Inquisition, he was there +decoyed into the holy office, and by an order from Rome SO RACKED AS TO +LOSE HIS SENSES. In the mean time, the true person being apprehended, +the unhappy wretch was dismissed, by a second order from Rome, but he +never recovered the use of his senses, NOR WAS ANY CARE TAKEN OF HIM BY +THE INQUISITION." + +It would be easy to fill a volume with such narratives as the above, but +we forbear. We are not writing a history of the Inquisition. We simply +wish to exhibit the true spirit by which the Romanists are actuated in +their dealings with those over whom they have power. We therefore, in +closing this chapter of horrors, beg leave to place before our readers +one of the FATHERLY BENEDICTIONS with which, His Holiness, the Pope, +dismisses his refractory subjects. Does it not show most convincingly +what he would do here in America, if he had, among us, the power he +formerly possessed in the old world, when the least inadvertent word +might perchance seal the doom of the culprit? + + +A POPISH BULL OK CURSE. + +"Pronounced on all who leave the Church of Rome. By the authority of God +Almighty, the Father, Son and Holy Ghost, and the undefiled Virgin +Mary, mother and patroness of our Saviour, and of all celestial virtues, +Angels, Archangels, Thrones, Dominions, Powers, Cherubim and Seraphim, +and of all the holy Patriarchs, Prophets, and of all the Apostles and +Evangelists, of the holy innocents, who in the sight of the holy Lamb +are found worthy to sing the new song of the Holy Martyrs and Holy +Confessors, and of all the Holy Virgins, and of all the Saints, together +with the Holy Elect of God,--MAY HE BE DAMNED. We excommunicate and +anathematize him, from the threshold of the holy church of God Almighty. +We sequester him, that he may be tormented, disposed, and be delivered +over with Datham and Abiram, and with those who say unto the Lord, +'Depart from us, we desire none of thy ways;' as a fire is quenched with +water, so let the light of him be put out forevermore, unless it shall +repent him, and make satisfaction. Amen. + +"May the Father who creates man, curse him. May the Son, who suffered +for us, curse him! May the Holy Ghost who is poured out in baptism, +curse him! May the Holy Cross, which Christ for our salvation, +triumphing over his enemies, ascended, curse him! + +"May the Holy Mary, ever Virgin and Mother of God, curse him! May all +the Angels, Principalities, and Powers, and all heavenly Armies curse +him! May the glorious band of the Patriarchs and Prophets curse him! +"May St. John the Precursor, and St John the Baptist, and St. Peter +and St Paul, and St. Andrew and all other of Christ's Apostles together +curse him and may the rest of the Disciples and Evangelists who by their +preaching converted the universe, and the Holy and wonderful company +of Martyrs and Confessors, who by their works are found pleasing to God +Almighty; may the holy choir of the Holy Virgins, who for the honor of +God have despised the things of the world, damn him. May all the Saints +from the beginning of the world to everlasting ages, who are found to be +beloved of God, damn him! + +"May he be damned wherever he be, whether in the house or in the alley, +in the woods or in the water, or in the church! May he be cursed in +living or dying! + +"May he be cursed in eating and drinking, in being hungry, in being +thirsty, in fasting and sleeping, in slumbering, and in sitting, in +living, in working, in resting, and in blood letting! May he be cursed +in all the faculties of his body! + +"May he be cursed inwardly and outwardly. May he be cursed in his hair; +cursed be he in his brains, and his vertex, in his temples, in his +eyebrows, in his cheeks, in his jaw-bones, in his nostrils, in his +teeth, and grinders, in his lips, in his shoulders, in his arms, and in +his fingers. + +"May he be damned in his mouth, in his breast, in his heart, and +purtenances, down to the very stomach! + +"May he be cursed in his reins and groins, in his thighs and his hips, +and in his knees, his legs and his feet, and his toe-nails! + +"May he be cursed in all his joints, and articulation of the members; +from the crown of the head to the soles of his feet, may there be no +soundness! + +"May the Son of the living God, with all the glory of his majesty, CURSE +HIM! And may Heaven, with all the powers that move therein, rise +up against him, and curse and damn him; unless he repent and make +satisfaction! Amen! So be it. Be it so. Amen." + +Such was the CURSE pronounced on the Rev. Wm. Hogan, (a converted Roman +Catholic priest) a few years since, in Philadelphia. + +As a further proof of the cruel, persecuting spirit of Catholicism, let +us glance at a few extracts from their own publications. + +"Children," they say, "are obliged to denounce their parents or +relations who are guilty of heresy; ALTHOUGH THEY KNOW THAT THEY WILL BE +BURNT. They may refuse them all nourishment, and permit them to die +with hunger; or they may KILL THEM as enemies, who violate the rights of +humanity.--Escobar, Theolg. Moral, vol. 4, lib. 31, sec. 2, precept 4, +prop. 5, p. 239." + +"A man condemned by the Pope, may be killed wherever he is found."--La +Croix, vol. 1, p. 294. + +"Children may kill their parents, if they would turn their children +from the Popish faith." "If a judge decide contrary to law, the injured +person may defend himself by killing the judge."--Fangundez Precept +Decal, vol. 1, lib. 4, chap. 2, p. 501, 655, and vol. 2, lib. 8, chap. +32; p. 390. + +"To secretly kill your calumniator, to avoid scandal, is +justifiable."--Ayrault, Cens. p. 319. + +"You may kill before hand, any person who may put you to death, +not EXCEPTING THE JUDGE, AND WITNESSES, because it is +self-defence."--Emanuel Sa. Aphor, p. 178. + +"A priest may kill those who hinder him from taking possession of any +Ecclesiastical office."--Arnicus, Num, 131. + +"You may charge your opponent with false crime to take away his credit, +as well as kill him."--Guimenius, prop, 8, p. 86. + +"Priests may kill the laity to preserve their goods."--Nolina, vol. 3, +disput. 16, p. 1786. + +"You may kill any man to save a crown."--Taberna, Synop. Theol. Tract, +pars. 2, chap. 27, p. 256. + +"BY THE COMMAND OF GOD IT IS LAWFUL TO MURDER THE INNOCENT, TO ROB, AND +TO COMMIT ALL KIND OF WICKEDNESS, BECAUSE HE IS THE LORD OF LIFE +AND DEATH, AND ALL THINGS; AND THUS TO FULFILL HIS MANDATE IS OUR +DUTY."--Alagona, Thorn. Aquin, Sum. Theol. Compend, Quest. 94, p. 230. + +Again, in the Romish Creed found in the pocket of Priest Murphy, who was +killed in the battle of Arklow, 1798, we find the following articles. +"We acknowledge that the priests can make vice virtue, and virtue vice, +according to their pleasure. + +"We are bound to believe that the holy massacre was lawful, and lawfully +put into execution, against Protestants, and likewise WE ARE TO CONTINUE +THE SAME, PROVIDED WITH SAFETY TO OUR LIVES! + +"We are bound not to keep our oaths with heretics, though bound by the +most sacred ties. We are bound not to believe their oaths; for their +principles are damnation. We are bound to drive heretics with fire, +sword, faggot, and confusion, out of the land; as our holy fathers say, +if their heresies prevail we will become their slaves. We are bound +to absolve without money or price, those who imbrue their hands in +the blood of a heretic!" Do not these extracts show very clearly that +Romanism can do things as bad as anything in the foregoing narrative? + + + + +APPENDIX VI. + +ROMANISM OF THE PRESENT DAY. + +Whenever we refer to the relentless cruelties of the Romanists, we are +told, and that, too, by the influential, the intelligent, those who are +well-informed on other subjects, that "these horrid scenes transpired +only in the 'dark ages;'" that "the civilization and refinement of the +present age has so modified human society, so increased the milk of +human kindness, that even Rome would not dare, if indeed she had the +heart, to repeat the cruelties of by-gone days." + +For the honor of humanity we could hope that this opinion was correct; +but facts of recent date compel us to believe that it is as false as it +is ruinous to the best interests of our country and the souls of men. +A few of these facts, gathered from unquestionable sources, and some of +them related by the actors and sufferers themselves, we place before the +reader. + +In November, 1854, Ubaldus Borzinski, a monk of the Brothers of Mercy, +addressed an earnest petition to the Pope, setting forth the shocking +immoralities practised in the convents of his order in Bohemia. +He specifies nearly forty crimes, mostly perpetrated by priors and +subpriors, giving time, place, and other particulars, entreating the +Pope to interpose his power, and correct those horrible abuses. + +For sending this petition, he was thrown into a madhouse of the Brothers +of Mercy, at Prague, where he still languishes in dreary confinement, +though the only mark of insanity he ever showed was in imagining that +the Pope would interfere with the pleasures of the monks. + +This Ubaldus has a brother, like minded with himself, also a member of +the same misnamed order of monks, who has recently effected his escape +from durance vile. + +John Evangelist Borzinski was a physician in the convent of the Brothers +of Mercy at Prague. He is a scientific and cultivated man. By the +study of the Psalms and Lessons from the New Testament, which make up +a considerable part of the Breviary used in cloisters, he was first +led into Protestant views. He had been for seventeen years resident in +different cloisters of his order, as sick-nurse, alms gatherer, +student, and physician, and knew the conventual life out and out. As he +testifies: "There was little of the fear of God, so far as I could +see, little of true piety; but abundance of hypocrisy, eye-service, +deception, abuse of the poor sick people in the hospitals, such love +and hatred as are common among the children of this world, and the most +shocking vices of every kind." + +He now felt disgust for the cloister life, and for the Romish religion, +and he sought, by the aid of divine grace, to attain to the new birth +through the Word of God. Speaking of his change of views to a Prussian +clergyman, he thus describes his conversion: "Look you, it was thus I +became a Protestant. I found a treasure in that dustheap, and went away +with it." This treasure he prized more and more. He then thought +within himself, if these detached passages can give such light, what an +illumination he must receive if he could read and understand the whole +Bible. + +He did not, however, betray his dissatisfaction, but devoted himself +to his professional duties with greater diligence. He might still have +remained in the Order, his life hid with Christ in God, had not the +hierarchy, under pretence of making reforms and restoring the neglected +statutes of the Order, brought in such changes for the worse as led him +to resolve to leave the order, and the Romish church as well. Following +his convictions, and the advice of a faithful but very cautious +clergyman, he betook himself to the territories of Prussia, where, on +the 17th of January, 1855, he was received into the national church at +Petershain, by Dr. Nowotny, himself formerly a Bohemian priest. This was +not done till great efforts had been made to induce him to change his +purpose, and also to get his person into the power of his adversaries. +As he had now left the church of Rome, become an openly acknowledged +member of another communion, he thought he might venture to return to +his own country. Taking leave of his Prussian friends, to whom he had +greatly endeared himself by his modesty and his lively faith, he went +back to Bohemia, with a heart full of peace and joy. + +He lived for some time amidst many perplexities, secluded in the house +of his parents at Prosnitz, till betrayed by some who dwelt in the same +habitation. On the 6th of March he was taken out of bed, at eight, by +the police, and conveyed first to the cloister in Prosnitz, where he +suffered much abuse, and from thence to the cloister in Prague. Here the +canon Dittrich, "Apostolical Convisitator of the Order of the Brothers +of Mercy," justified all the inhuman treatment he had suffered, and +threatened him with worse in case he refused to recant and repent. +Dittrich not only deprived him of his medical books, but told him that +his going over to Protestantism was a greater crime than if he had +plundered the convent of two thousand florins. He was continually dinned +with the cry, "Retract, retract!" He was not allowed to see his brother, +confined in the same convent, nor other friends, and was so sequestered +in his cell as to make him feel that he was forgotten by all the world. + +He managed, through some monks who secretly sympathized with him, to get +a letter conveyed occasionally to Dr. Nowotny. These letters were filled +with painful details of the severities practised upon him. In one of +them he says, "My only converse is with God, and the gloomy walls around +me." He was transferred to a cell in the most unwholesome spot, and +infested with noisome smells not to be described. Close by him were +confined some poor maniacs, sunk below the irrational brutes. + +Under date of April 23d he writes: "Every hour, in this frightful +dungeon seems endless to me. For many weeks have I sat idle in this +durance, with no occupation but prayer and communion with God." His +appeals to civil authority and to the Primate of Hungary procured him no +redress, but only subjected him to additional annoyances and hardships. +His aged father, a man of four-score years, wept to see him, though of +sound understanding, locked up among madmen; and when urged to make his +son recant, would have nothing to do with it, and returned the same +day to his sorrowful home. As he had been notified that he was to be +imprisoned for life, he prayed most earnestly to the Father of mercies +for deliverance; and he was heard, for his prayers and endeavors wrought +together. The sinking of his health increased his efforts to escape; +for, though he feared not to die, he could not bear the thought of dying +imprisoned in a mad-house, where he knew that his enemies would take +advantage of his mortal weakness to administer their sacraments to him, +and give out that he had returned to the bosom of the church, or at +least to shave his head, that he might be considered as an insane +person, and his renunciation of Romanism as the effect of derangement +of mind. Several plans of escape were projected, all beset with much +difficulty and danger. The one he decided upon proved to be successful. + +On Saturday, the 13th of October, at half-past nine in the evening, he +fastened a cord made of strips of linen to the grate of a window, which +grate did not extend to the top. Having climbed over this, he lowered +himself into a small court-yard. He had now left that part of the +establishment reserved for the insane, and was now in the cloistered +part where the brethren dwelt. But here his fortune failed him. He saw +at a distance a servant of the insane approaching with a light; and +with aching heart and trembling limbs, by a desperate effort, climbed +up again. He returned to his cell, concealing his cord, and laid himself +down to rest. + +On the following Monday, he renewed his efforts to escape. He lowered +himself, as before, into the little court-yard; but being weak in health +and much shaken in his nervous system by all he had suffered in body and +mind, he was seized with palpitation of the heart and trembled all over, +so that he could not walk a step. He laid down to rest and recover his +breath. He felt as if he could get no further. "But," he says in his +affecting narrative, "My dear Saviour to whom I turned in this time of +need, helped me wonderfully. I felt now, more than ever in my life, His +gracious and comforting presence, and believed, in that dismal moment, +with my whole soul, His holy word;" "My grace is sufficient for thee; +for my strength is made perfect in weakness." + +Borzinski now arose, pulled off his boots, and though every step was +made with difficulty, he ascended the stairs leading to the first story. +He went along the passage way until he came to a door leading into +corridors where the cloister brethren lodged. But the trembling fit came +over him again, with indescribable anguish, as he sought to open the +door with a key with which he had been furnished. He soon rallied again, +and, like a spectre, gliding by the doors of the brethren, who occupied +the second and third corridors, many of whom had lights still burning, +he came with his boots in one hand, and his bundle in the other, to +a fourth passage way, in which was an outside window he was trying to +reach. The cord was soon fastened to the window frame, yet still in +bitter apprehension; for this window was seldom opened, and opened +hard, and with some noise. It was also only two steps distant from the +apartment of the cloister physician, where there was a light, and it was +most likely that, on the first grating of the window, he would rush +out and apprehend the fugitive. However the window was opened without +raising any alarm, and now it was necessary to see that no one was +passing below; for though the spot is not very much frequented, yet +the streets cross there, and people approach it from four different +directions. During these critical moments, one person and another kept +passing, and poor Borzinski tarried shivering in the window for near a +quarter of an hour before he ventured to let himself down. While he +was waiting his opportunity he heard the clock strike the third quarter +after nine and knew that he had but fifteen minutes to reach the house +where he was to conceal himself, which would be closed at ten. When all +was still, he called most fervently on the Saviour, and grasping the +cord, slid down into the street. He could scarce believe his feet were +on the ground. Trembling now with joy and gratitude rather than fear, he +ran bareheaded to his place of refuge, where he received a glad welcome. +Having changed his garb, and tarried till three o'clock in the morning, +he took leave of his friends and passing through the gloomy old capital +of Bohemia, he reached the Portzitscher Gate, in order to pass out +as early as possible. Just then a police corporal let in a wagon, and +Borzinski, passed out unchallenged. It is needless to follow him further +in his flight. We have given enough, of his history to prove that +conventual establishments are at this moment what they ever have +been--dangerous alike to liberty and life. AMERICAN AND FOREIGN +CHRISTIAN UNION. + +In place of labored arguments we give the following history of personal +suffering as strikingly illustrative of the spirit of Romanism at the +present day. + + + + +APPENDIX VII + +NARRATIVE OP SIGNORINA FLORIENCIA D' ROMANI, A NATIVE OF THE CITY OF +NAPLES. + +I was born in the year 1826, of noble and wealthy parents. Our mansion +contained a small chapel, with many images, sacred paintings, and a +neatly furnished mass altar. My father was a man of the world. He loved +the society of fashionable men. As he lived on the rents and income +of his estates, he had little to do, except to amuse himself with his +friends. My mother, who was of as mild and sweet disposition, loved my +father very dearly, but was very unhappy the most of the time because +my father spent so much of his time in drinking with his dissolute +companions, card playing, and in balls, parties, theatres, operas, +billiards, &c. Father did not intend to be unkind to my mother, for he +gave her many servants, and abundance of gold, horses, carriages and +grooms, and said frequently in my hearing, that his wife should be as +happy as a princess. Such was the state of society in Italy that men +thought their wives had no just reason to complain, so long as they were +furnished with plenty of food, raiment and shelter. + +One of my father's most intimate friends was the very Rev. Father +Salvator, a Priest of the order of St. Francis; he wore the habit of +the order, his head was about half shaved. The sleeves of his habit were +very large at the elbow; in these sleeves he had small pockets, in which +he usually carried his snuff box, handkerchief, and purse of gold. This +priest was merry, full of fun and frolic; he could dance, sing, play +cards, and tell admirably funny stories, such as would make even the +devils laugh in their chains. + +Such was the influence and power this Franciscan had over my father and +mother, that in our house, his word was law. He was our confessor, knew +the secrets and sins, and all the weak points of every mind in the whole +household. My own dear mother taught me to read before I was seven years +of age. As I was the only child, I was much petted and caressed, indeed, +such was my mother's affection for me that I was seldom a moment out of +her sight. There was a handsome mahogany confessional in our own chapel. +When the priest wanted any member of the household to come to him to +confession, he wrote the name on a slate that hung outside the chapel +door, saying that he would hear confessions at such a time to-morrow. +Thus, we would always have time for the full examination of our +consciences. Only one at a time was ever admitted into the chapel, for +confessional duty, and the priest always took care to lock the door +inside and place the key in his sleeve pocket. My mother and myself were +obliged to confess once a week; the household servants, generally once a +month. My father only once a year, during Lent, when all the inhabitants +of seven years, and upwards, are obliged to kneel down to the priests, +in the confessional, and receive the wafer God under the severest +penalties. Woe to the individual who resists the ecclesiastical mandate. + +When I was about fourteen years of age, I was sent to the Ursuline +Convent, to receive my education. My dear mother would have preferred +a governess or a competent teacher to teach me at home but her will was +but a mere straw in the hands of our confessor and priestly tyrant. It +was solely at the recommendation of the confessor, that I was imprisoned +four years in the Ursuline Convent. As my confessor was also the +confessor of the convent, he called himself my guardian and protector, +and recommended me to the special care of the Mother Abbess, and her +holy nuns, the teachers, who spent much of their time in the school +department. As my father paid a high price, quarterly, for my tuition +and board, I had a good room to myself, my living was of the best kind, +and I always had wine at dinner. The nuns, my teachers, took much more +pains to teach me the fear of the Pope, bishops and confessors, than +the fear of God, or the love of virtue. In fact, with the exception of a +little Latin and embroidery, which I learned in those four years, I came +out as ignorant as I was before, unless a little hypocrisy may be called +a useful accomplishment. For, of all human beings on earth, none can +teach hypocrisy so well as the Romish priests and nuns. In the school +department young ladies seldom have much to complain of, unless they are +charity scholars; in that case the poor girls have to put up with very +poor fare, and much hard work, hard usage and even heavy blows; how my +heart has ached for some of those unfortunate girls, who are treated +more like brutes, than human beings, because they are orphans, and poor. +Yet they in justice are entitled to good treatment, for thousands of +scudi (dollars) are sent as donations to the convents for the support +of these orphans, every year, by benevolent individuals. So that as poor +and unfortunate as these girls are, they are a source of revenue to the +convents. + +For the first three years of my convent life, I passed the time in +the school department, without much anxiety of mind. I was gay and +thoughtless, my great trouble was to find something to amuse myself, +and kill time in some way. Though I treated all the school-mates with +kindness, and true Italian politeness, I became intimate with only one. +She was a beautiful girl, from the dukedom of Tuscany. She made me her +confidant, and told me all her heart. Her parents were wealthy, and both +very strict members of the Romish Church. But she had an aunt in the +city of Geneva, who was a follower of John Calvin, or a member of the +Christian church of Switzerland. This aunt had been yearly a visitor at +her father's house. She being her father's only sister, an affectionate +intimacy was formed between the aunt and niece. The aunt, being a very +pious, amiable woman, felt it her duty to impress the mind of the niece, +with the superiority of the religion of the holy bible over popish +traditions; and the truth of the Scriptures soon found its way to the +heart of my young friend. But her confessor soon found out that some +change was going on in her mind, and told her father. There were +only two ways to save her soul from utter ruin; one was to give her +absolution and kill her before she got entirely out of the holy mother +church; the other, was to send her to the Ursuline convent at Naples, +where by the zeal and piety of those celebrated nuns, she might be +secured from further heresy. + +From this, the best friend of my school days, I learned more about God's +word, and virtue, and truth, and the value of the soul, than from all +other sources. There was a garden surrounded by a high wall, in which we +frequently walked, and whispered to each other, though we trembled all +the while for fear our confessor would by some means, find out that we +looked upon the Romish church as the Babylon destined to destruction, +plainly spoken of by St. John the revelator. + +My young friend stood in great fear of the priests; she trembled at the +very sight of one. + +Her aunt had read to her the history and sufferings of the persecuted +Protestants of Europe. She was a frail, and timid girl, yet such was the +depth of her piety and the fervor of her religious faith, that she often +declared to me that she would prefer death to the abandonment of those +heavenly principles she had embraced, which were the source of her +joy and hope. Her aunt gave her a pocket New Testament, in the Italian +language, which she prized above all the treasures of earth, and carried +with her carefully, wherever she went. I borrowed it and read it every +opportunity I had. Several chapters I learned by heart. I took much +pains to commit to memory all I could of the blessed book, for in +case of our separation, I knew not where I could obtain another. My +god-father who was a bishop, called to see me on my fifteenth birth day, +and presented me with a splendid gold watch and chain richly studded +with jewels, made in England, and valued at 200 scudi, saying that +he had it imported expressly for my use. I had also several diamond +articles of jewelry, presents I had received from my father from time to +time. I had also, in my purse, 100 scudi in gold, which I had saved from +my pin money. All the above property, I should have cheerfully given for +a copy of the Holy Bible, in my own beautiful Italian language. A few +months after I received the rich present from the Bishop, he called with +my father and my confessor to see me. My heart almost came into my mouth +when I saw them alight from my father's carriage, and enter the chapel +door of the convent. Very soon the lady porter came to me and said, +"Signorina, you are wanted in the parlor." + +As my Tuscan friend had taught me to pray, and ask the Lord Jesus for +grace and strength, I walked into my room, locked the door, and on my +knees, called upon the Lord to save me from becoming a nun--for I +knew then it was a determination on the part of the Abbess, bishop +and confessor, that I should take the veil. I was the only child, and +heiress of an immense fortune, of course, too good a prize to be lost. +After a short and fervent prayer to my Lord and Saviour, I walked down +to see what was to be my doom. I kissed my father's cheek, and kissed +the hands of the Bishop and confessor--yet my very soul revolted +from the touch of these whited sepulchres. All received me with great +cordiality, yea, even more than usual affection. Soon after our meeting, +my father asked permission of the Bishop to speak to me privately and +taking me into a small room, said to me, "My dear daughter, you are not +aware of the great misfortune that has recently come upon your father. +While I was excited with wine at the card-table last evening, betting +high and winning vast sums of money, I so far forgot myself and my duty +to the laws of the country, that I called for a toast, and induced +a number of my inebriated companions to drink the health of Italian +liberty, and we all drank and gave three cheers for liberty and a +liberal constitution. A Benedictine Friar being present, took all our +names to the Commissary General, and offered to be a witness against +us in the King's Court. As this is my first and only offence, the holy +Bishop your god-father offers on certain conditions, to visit Rome +immediately on my behalf, and secure the mediation of the holy Father +Pius IX. Your venerable god-father has great influence at Rome, being +a special favorite with his holiness, and his holiness can obtain any +favor he asks of King Ferdinand. So if you will only consent to take the +Black Veil, your father will be saved from the State prison." + +This was terrible news to my young and palpitating heart. It was the +first heavy blow that I had experienced in this vale of tears. I did not +speak for some minutes; I could not. My trembling bosom heaved like the +waves of the ocean before the blast. My veins were almost bursting; my +hands and feet became as cold as marble, and when I attempted to speak +my words seemed ready to choke me to death. I thought my last hour had +come. I fell upon my knees and called upon God for mercy and help. My +father, thinking I had gone mad, was greatly alarmed. The Bishop +and confessor, who were anxiously waiting the result of my father's +proposition, hearing my father weep and sob aloud, came in to see what +the matter was. In the midst of my prayer, I fainted away, and became +entirely unconscious. When I came to myself, I found myself on the bed. +As I opened my eyes, it all seemed like a dream. The abbess spoke to me +very kindly, and sprinkled my bed with holy water, and at the same time +laid a large bronze crucifix on my breast, saying that Satan must be +driven from my soul, for had it not been for the devil, I would have +leaped for joy, and not fainted when father mentioned the black veil. +"No," said the holy mother, "had it not been for the devil you would +rejoice to take the holy black veil blessed by the Holy Madonna and the +blessed saints Clara and Theresa. It is a holy privilege that very few +can enjoy on earth. Yea, my daughter, there can not be a greater sin +in the sight of the Madonna and the blessed saints, than to reject a +secluded life. Yea," said the crafty old nun, (who was thinking much +more about my gold, than my soul,) "I never knew a young lady who had +the offer of becoming a nun and rejected it, who ever came to a good +end. If they refuse, and marry, they generally die in child-bed with the +first child, or they will marry cruel husbands, who beat them and kill +them by inches. Therefore, dear daughter, let me most affectionately +warn you as you have had the honor of being selected by the holy Bishop +and our holy confessor to the high dignity and privilege of a professed +nun, of the order of St. Ursula, reject it not at your peril. Be +assured, heaven knows how to punish such rebellion." + +My head ached so violently at the time, and I was so feverish that I +begged the old woman to send for my mother, and to talk to me no more on +the subject of the black veil, but to drop it until some future time. In +my agony on account of the foul plot against my liberty, my virtue, and +my gold, I felt such a passion of rage come upon me, that had I absolute +power for the moment I would have cast every Abbess, Pope, Bishop and +Priest into the bottomless pit. May the Lord forgive me, but I would +have done it at that time with a good will. The greatest comfort I now +had was reading my Tuscan friend's New Testament, or hearing it read by +her when we had a chance to be by ourselves, which was not very often. +In the evening of the same day of my illness, father and mother came to +see me, and Satan came also in the shape of the confessor; so that I +had not a moment alone with my dear parents. The confessor feared my +determined opposition to a convent's life, for he had previous to this, +several times in the confessional, dropped hints to me on the great +happiness, purity, serenity and joy of all holy nuns. But I always told +him I would not be a nun for the world. I should be so good, it would +kill me in a short time. "No, no, father," said I, "I WILL NOT BE A +NUN." + +Father spoke to me again of his great misfortune--told me that his trial +would come on in a few days and that he was now at liberty on a +very heavy bail; that the Bishop was only waiting my answer to start +immediately for the holy city, and throw himself at the feet of the holy +Pope to procure father's unconditional pardon from the King. I said +"my dear father, how long will you be imprisoned if you do not get a +pardon?" "From two to five years," he replied. "My daughter, it is +my first offence, and I have witnesses to prove that the priest who +appeared against me, urged me to drink wine several times after I had +drank a large quantity, and was the direct cause of my saying what +I did." Now it all came to me, that the whole of it was a plot, a +Jesuitical trick, to get my father in the clutches of the law, and then +make a slave of me for life through my sympathy for my dear father. + +The vile priests knew that I loved my father most ardently; in fact, my +father and mother were the only two beings on earth that I did love. My +mother I loved most tenderly, but my affection for my father was of a +different kind. I loved him most violently, with all the ardor of my +soul. Mother seemed all the home to me; but father was to me all the +world beside. My father was all the brother I had. He would frequently +come home, and get me to go out into the garden and play with him, +just as though he was my brother. There we would swing, run, jump and +exercise in several healthy games, common in our climate. He never gave +me an unkind word or an unkind reproof. If I did say anything wrong, he +would take me to my mother and say, "Clara, here I bring you a prisoner, +let her be kept on bread and water till dinner time." Even when mother +had displeased him about some trifle, so that he had not a smile for +her, he always had a smile for his Flora. Even now, while I write, a +chill comes over my frame, while I think of that vile Popish plot. I +said to my father, "You shall not be imprisoned if I can prevent it; at +the same time I do not see any great gain, comfort or profit in having +your only daughter put in prison for life, without the hope of liberty +ever more, to save you from two years imprisonment." + +At these words, the eyes of the confessor flashed like lurid lightnings; +his very frame shook, as though he had the fever and ague. Truth seemed +so strange to the priest, that he found it hard of digestion. Father +and mother both wept, but made no reply. The idea of putting their only +child in a dungeon for life, though it might be done in the sacred name +of religion, did not seem to give them much comfort "Father," said I, "I +wish to see you at ten o'clock to-morrow morning, without fail--I wish +to see you alone; don't bring mother or any one else with you. You shall +not go to prison, all will yet be well." On account of this reasonable +request, to see my father alone, the confessor arose in a terrible rage +and left the apartment As quick as the mad priest left us to ourselves, +I told my father my plan, or what I would like to do with his +permission. My plan was, for my mother and myself to get into our +carriage and drive to the palace of King Ferdinand and make him +acquainted with all the truth; for I was aware from what I had heard, +that the King had heard only the priest's side of the story. My father +stood in such fear of the priests that he only consented to my plan with +great reluctance, saying that we ought first to make our plan known to +the confessor, lest he should be offended. To this my mother responded, +saying, "My daughter, it would be very wrong for us to go to the King, +or take any step without the advice of our spiritual guide." Here, +I felt it to be my duty to reveal to my deceived parents some of the +secrets of the confessional, though I might, in their estimation, +be guilty of an unpardonable sin by breaking the seal of iniquity. I +revealed to my parents the frequent efforts of the priest to obtain my +consent to take the veil, and that I had opposed from first to last, +every argument made use of to rob me of the society of my parents, of my +liberty, and of everything I held dear on earth. As to the happiness of +the nuns so much talked of by the priests, from what I had seen in their +daily walk and general deportment, I was fully convinced that there was +no reality in it; they were mere slaves to their superiors, and not half +so happy as the free slaves on a plantation who have a kind master. My +parents saw my determination to resist to the death every plan for my +imprisonment in the hateful nunnery. Therefore they promised that I +should have the opportunity to see the King on the morrow in company +with my mother. + +On the following day, at twelve o'clock, we left the convent in our +carriage for the palace. We were very politely received by the gentleman +usher, who conducted us to seats in the reception-room. After sending +our cards to the king, we waited nearly one hour before he made his +appearance. His majesty received us with much kindness, raised us +immediately from our knees, and demanded our business. I was greatly +embarrassed at first, but the frank and cordial manner of the sovereign +soon restored me to my equilibrium, and I spoke freely in behalf of my +dear father. The king heard me through very patiently, with apparent +interest, and said, "Signorina, I am inclined to believe you have spoken +the truth; and as your father has always been a good loyal subject, I +shall, for your sake, forgive him this offence; but let him beware that +henceforth, wine or no wine, he does not trespass against the laws +of the kingdom, for a second offence I will not pardon. Go in peace, +signoras, you have my royal word." + +We thanked his majesty, and returned to our home with the joyful +tidings. O, how brief was our joy! My father, who had been waiting the +result of our visit to the palace with great impatience, received us +with open arms, and pressed us to his heart again and again. + +I was so excited that, long before we got to him, I cried out, "All is +well, all is well, father. A pardon from the king! Joy, joy!" We drove +home, and father went immediately to spread the happy news amongst +his friends. All our faithful domestics, including my old affectionate +nurse, were so overjoyed at the news that they danced about like +maniacs. My father was always a very indulgent and liberal master, +furnished his servants with the best of Italian fare, plenty of +fresh beef, wine, and macaroni. We had scarcely got rested, when our +tormenter, the confessor, came into our room and said, "Signoras, what +is the meaning of all this fandango and folly amongst the servants? ARE +THE HERETICS ALL KILLED, that there should be such joy, or has the queen +been delivered of a son, an heir to the throne?" + +My dear mother was now as pale as death, and silent, for she saw that +the priest was awfully enraged; for, although he feigned to smile, his +smile was similar to that of the hyena when digging his prey out of +the grave. The priest's dark and villainous visage had the effect of +confirming in my mother's mind all the truth regarding the plot to +enslave me for life, and secure all my father's estate to the pockets +of the priests. The confessor was now terribly mad, for two obvious +reasons: one was because he was not received by us with our usual +cordiality and blind affection; the other, because, by the king's +pardon, I was not under the necessity to sacrifice my liberty and +happiness for life to save my father from prison; and what tormented him +the most was, that he believed that I, though young, could understand +and thwart his hellish plans. As my mother trembled and was silent, +fearing the priest was cursing her and her only daughter in his +heart,--for the priests tell such awful stories about the effects of a +priest's curse that the great mass of the Italian people fear it more +than the plague or any earthly misfortune. + +The popish priests declare that St. Peter is the doorkeeper of the great +city of God, the heavenly Jerusalem, that he has the keys of the kingdom +of heaven, and has received strict orders not to admit any soul, under +any circumstances, who has been cursed by a holy priest, unless that +curse has been removed by the same priest in the tribunal of penance. I +was obliged to speak to his reverence, and I felt so free, so happy in +Christ as my only hope, that I opened my mind to the priest very freely, +and told him what I thought of him and his plot. "Sir priest," said I, +"I shall never return to the convent to stay long. As soon as the time +for my education ends, I shall return to liberty and domestic life. I +am not made of the proper material to make a nun of. I love the social +domestic circle; I love my father and mother, and all our domestics, +even the dogs and the cats, pigeons, and canaries, the fish-ponds, +play-grounds, gardens, rivers, and landscapes, mountain and ocean,--all +the works of God I love. I shall live out of the convent to enjoy these +things; therefore, reverend sir, if you value my peace and good-will, +never speak to me or my parents on the subject of my becoming a nun in +any convent. I shall prefer death to the loss of my personal liberty." + +I was so decided, and had received such strength and grace from heaven, +that the priest was dumbfounded,--my smooth stone out of the sling +had hit him in the right place. After much effort to appear bland and +good-natured, he drew near my chair, seized my hand, and said, "My dear +daughter, you mistake me. I love you as a daughter, I wish only your +happiness. Your god-father, the holy Bishop, does not intend that you +shall remain a common nun more than a year. After the first year you +shall be raised to the highest dignity in the convent. You shall be the +Lady Superior, and all the nuns shall bow at your feet, and implicitly +obey your commands. + +"The Lady Superior of St. Clara is now very old, and his lordship wishes +soon to fill her place. For that purpose he has selected his adopted +daughter. Your talents, education, wealth, and high position in society, +eminently fit you for one of the highest dignities on earth." + +"A thousand thanks for the kindness of my lord Bishop," said I; "but +your reverence has not altered my mind in the least. I can never bow +down to the feet of any Lady Superior, neither will I ever consent to +see a single human being degraded at my feet. The holy Bible says, 'Thou +shalt worship the Lord thy God, and him only shalt thou serve.'" "Bible, +my daughter!" exclaimed the priest, "Where did you see that dangerous +book? Know you not that his holiness the Pope has placed it in the +Index Expurgatorius, because it has been the means of the damnation of +millions of souls? Not because it is in itself a bad book, but because +it is a theological work, prepared only for the priests and ministers of +our holy religion. Therefore, it is always a very dangerous book in +the hands of women or laymen, who wrest the Scriptures to their own +destruction." + +"Well, reverend sir," I replied, "you seem determined to differ from the +Lord Jesus and his apostles. I read in the New Testament that we should +search the Scriptures because they testify of Christ. And one of the +apostles, I don't remember which, said, 'all scripture is given by the +inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine and for instruction +in righteousness.' Now, reverend sir, if the people have souls, as well +as the priests, why should they not read the word of God which speaks of +Christ and is profitable for instruction?" + +"You are almost a heretic!" exclaimed the priest, "and you talk very +much like one." His countenance changed to a pale sickly hue, as he +said, "My daughter, where did you get that dangerous book? If you have, +it in your possession, give it to me, and I will bless you, and pray for +you to the blessed Madonna that she may save you from the infernal pit +of heresy." + +"I do not own the blessed book," said I, "but I wish I did. I would give +one hundred scudi in gold for a copy of the New Testament. I borrowed a +copy from a friend, and returned it to the owner again. But I understand +that there are copies to be had in London, and when I have a good +opportunity I shall send for a copy, if I can do it unbeknown to any +one." + +"Enough, enough!" exclaimed the priest. "I shall be in the tribunal of +penance at six o'clock P.M.; there I shall expect to meet you. You need +pardon immediately, and spiritual advice. Should you die as you now are +without absolution, you would be lost and damned forever. I tremble for +you, my dear daughter, seeing that the devil has got such a powerful +hold of you. It may even be absolutely necessary to kill the body to +save your soul; for should you relapse again into heresy after due +penance for this crime has been performed, it would be impossible to +renew you again to repentance, seeing you crucify the Lord and the +Madonna afresh, and put them to an open shame." + +Here my mother fainted and shook like an aspen leaf. But God gave me +strength, and I said in a moment that as his reverence thought my sins +so great, I would not go to any man, no, not even to the Pope; I +would go to God alone, and leave my cause in his hands, life or death. +"Therefore, reverend sir, I shall save you from all further trouble in +attending the confessional any more on my account. From henceforth no +earthly power shall drag me alive and with my consent to the tribunal of +penance." + +"Woman!" exclaimed the priest furiously, "are you mad? There are ten +thousand devils in you, and we must drive them out by some means." After +this discharge of priestly venom, the priest left in a rage giving the +door a terrible slam, which awoke my mother from her sorrowful trance. +During the whole conversation, such was the electrical power of the +priest over my mother's weak and nervous system, that if she attempted +to say a word in my behalf, the keen, snakish black eye of the priest +would at once make her tremble and quail before him, and the half +uttered word would remain silent on her lips. The priest went at once +in search of my father. He came home boiling over with rage, saying he +wished I had never been born. He cursed the day of my birth. The +cause of all this paternal fury upon my poor devoted head was the foul +misrepresentations of my father confessor, who was now in league with +the Bishop, both determined to shut me up in a prison convent, or end my +mortal career. + +My poor mother remained mute and heart-broken. My sweet mother; never +did she utter one word of unkindness to me; her very look to the last +was one of gentleness and love. But my father loved honor and reputation +amongst men above all other things. The idea of being the father of an +accursed heretic, tormented his pride, and he being suspected of heresy +himself caused him to be forsaken by many of his proud friends and +acquaintances. He was even insulted in the streets by the numerous +Lazaroni, with the epithet of Maldito Corrobonari, so that I lost my +father's love. And when the confessor told him there was no other way +to save me from hell than an entire life of penance in a convent, he +heartily and freely gave his consent. Mother, my own sweet mother, my +only remaining friend, turned as pale as death, but was enabled to say a +word in my behalf. + +I saw that my earthly doom was sealed; there was not a single voice in +all Naples to save me from imprisonment for life. Not a tongue in four +hundred thousand that would dare speak one word in my behalf. Father +commanded me to get ready to leave his house forever that very night, +saying the carriage and confessor would be on hand to take me away at +eight o'clock P.M., by moonlight. I got on my knees and begged my father +as a last request that he would allow me to remain three days with my +mother, but he refused. Said he, "That is now beyond my power. Not an +hour can you remain after eight o'clock." + +As I knew not when I should see my Tuscan friend again, I begged the +privilege of seeing her for a few moments. I was anxious to ask her +prayers and sympathy, and to put her on her guard, for should the +priests discover her New Testament, they would punish her as they did +me, or as they intended to do to me. But this favor was denied me, and I +could not write to her, for all letters of the scholars in the +convents, are opened under the pretence to prevent them from receiving +love-letters. The Romish church keeps all her dark plans a secret, but +never allows any secret to be kept from the priests. + +I went into my room to bid farewell to my home forever. I fell on my +knees and prayed to God for his dear Son's sake to help me, to give me +patience, and to keep me from the sin of suicide. The more I thought +of my utterly unprotected situation and of the savage disposition of my +foes, the priests, the more I thought of the propriety of taking my own +life, rather than live in a dungeon all my days. Such was the power of +superstition over our domestics that they looked upon me as one accursed +of the church, a Protestant heretic, and not one of them would take my +hand or bid me good bye. At tea-time I was not allowed to sit at table +with father, mother, and the confessor, as formerly. But I had my supper +sent up to my room. + +A short time after the bell rang for vespers, the carriage being ready, +my father and the confessor with myself and one small trunk got into the +best seats inside, and rode off at a rapid rate. I kept my veil over my +face, and said not a word neither did I shed a single tear; my sorrow, +and indignation was too deep for utterance or even for tears. The priest +and my father uttered not a word. Perhaps my father's conscience +made him ashamed of such vile work--that of laying violent hands on a +defenceless girl of eighteen years of age, for no crime whatever, only +the love of liberty and pure Bible religion. But if the priest was +silent, his vile countenance indicated a degree of hellish pleasure and +satisfaction. Never did piratical captain glory more in seeing a rich +prize along side with all hands killed and out of the way, than my +reverend confessor; yet a short time before he said he loved me as a +daughter. Yes, he did love me, as the wolf loves the lamb, as the cat +loves the mouse and as the boa constrictor the beautiful gazelle. To +my momentary satisfaction we entered the big gate of St. Ursula, for +although I knew I should suffer there perhaps even death, there was some +satisfaction in seeing a few faces that I had seen in my gay and happy +days, now alas! forever gone by! I was somewhat grieved by the cold +reception I received. All seemed to look upon me with horror. But none +of these things moved me; I looked to God for strength, for I felt that +He alone could nerve me for the conflict. The hardest blow of all was, +my dear father left me at the mercy of the priest without one kind look +or word. He did not even shake hands with me, nor did he say farewell. + +Oh Popery, what a mysterious power is thine! Thou canst in a few hours +destroy powerful love which it took long years to cement in loving +hearts. When my father had left and I heard the porter lock the heavy +iron gate I felt an exquisite wretchedness come over me. I would have +given worlds for death at that moment. In a few moments the priest rung +a bell, and the old Jezebel the mother Abbess made her appearance. "Take +this heretic, Holy Mother, and place her in confinement in the lower +regions; GIVE HER BREAD AND WATER ONCE IN TWENTY-FOUR HOURS, THE WATER +THAT YOU HAVE WASHED YOUR SACRED FEET IN, NO OTHER; give her straw +to sleep on, but no pillow. Take all her clothing away and give her a +coarse tunic; one single coarse garment to cover her nakedness, but no +shoes. She has grievously sinned against the holy mother church, and now +she mercifully imposes upon her years of severe penance, that her body +of sin may be destroyed and her soul saved after suffering one million +of years in holy purgatory. Our chief duty now, holy mother, in order +to save this lost soul from mortal sin will be to examine her carefully +every, day to ascertain if possible what she most dislikes, or what +is most revolting to her flesh, that whatever it may be, she, must be +compelled to perform it whatever it may cost. Let a holy wax candle burn +in her cell at night, until further orders. And let the Tuscan heretic +be treated in the same way. They are both guilty of the same crimes." At +the word "Tuscan heretic," possessing the spirit of Christ that I knew +on earth. Yet how true it is that misery loves company; there was even +satisfaction in being near my unfortunate friend though our sufferings +might be unutterable. Still I was unhappy in the thought that she was +suffering on my account. Had I never said a word about borrowing a New +Testament, she would never have been suspected as being the direct +cause of my conversion to the truth, and of my renunciation of the vile +confessional. + +I was somewhat puzzled to know what kind of a place was meant by the +lower regions; I had never heard of these regions before. But soon two +women in black habits with their faces entirely covered excepting +two small holes for the eyes to peep through, came to me and without +speaking, made signs for me to follow them. I did so without resistance, +and soon found myself in an under-ground story of the infernal building. +"There is your cell," said the cowled inquisitors, "look all around, see +every thing, but speak not; no not for your life. The softest whisper +will immediately reach the ears of the Mother Abbess, and then you are +loaded with heavy chains until you die, for there must be no talking +or whispering in this holy retreat of penance. And," said my jailor +further, "take off your clothes, shoes and stockings, and put on this +holy coarse garment which will chafe thy flesh but will bless thy soul. +Holy St. Francis saved many souls by this holy garment." + +As resistance was worse than useless, I complied, and soon found my poor +feet aching with the cold on the bare stone floor. I was soon made to +feel the blessing of St. Francis with a vengeance. My sufferings were +indescribable. It seemed as though ten thousand bees had stung me in +every part. I never closed my eyes for several nights. I laid on my +coarse straw and groaned and sighed for death to come and relieve me of +my anguish. As soon as the holy wax candle was left with me I took it +in my hand and went forth to survey my dungeon; but I did not enjoy +my ramble. In one of the cells, I found my Tuscan friend--that dear +Christian sister--in great agony, having had on the accursed garment for +several days. Her body was one entire blister, and very much inflamed. +Her bones were racked with pain, as with the most excruciating +inflammatory rheumatism. We recognized each other; she pointed to heaven +as if to say 'trust in the Lord, my sister, our sufferings will soon +be over.' I kissed my hand to her and returned again to my cell. I +saw other victims half dead and emaciated that made my heart sick. I +refrained from speaking to any one for I feared my condition, wretched +as it was, might be rendered even worse, if possible by the fiends who +had entire power over me. "O my God!" said I to myself, "why was I born? +O give my soul patience to suffer every pain." + +On the fourth day of my imprisonment the jailor brought me some water +and soap, a towel, brush and comb, and the same clothes I wore when I +entered the foul den. They told me to make haste and prepare myself to +appear before the holy Bishop. Hope revived in my soul, for I always +thought that my god-father had some regard for me, and had now come to +release me from the foul den I was in. Cold water seemed to afford much +relief to my tortured body. I made my toilet as quick as I could in such +a place. My feet were so numb and swollen that it was difficult for me +to get my shoes on. At last the Bishop arrived as I supposed, and I +was conducted--not into his presence as I expected, but into that of +my bitterest enemy, the confessor. At the very sight of the monster, I +trembled like a reed shaken by the wind. The priest walked to each of +the doors, locked them, put the keys into a small writing desk, locked +it, took out the key and placed it carefully in his sleeve pocket. This +he did to assure me that we were alone, that not one of the inmates +could by any means disturb for the present the holy meditations of the +priest. He bade me take a seat on the sofa by him. In kind soft words he +said to me, that if I was only docile and obedient, he would cause me +to be treated like a princess, and that in a short time I should have +my liberty if I preferred to return to the world. At the same time he +attempted to put his arm around my waist. In a moment I was on my feet. +While he was talking love to me, I was looking at two large alabaster +vases full of beautiful wax flowers; one of them was as much as I could +lift. Without one thought about consequences, I seized the nearest vase +and threw it with all the strength I had at the priest's head. He fell +like a log and uttered one or two groans. The vase was broken. It +struck the priest on the right temple, close to the ear. For a moment I +listened to see if any one were coming. I then looked at the priest, and +saw the blood running out of his wound. I quaked with fear lest I had +killed the destroyer of my peace. I did not intend to kill him, I only +wished to stun him, that I might take the keys, open the door and run, +for the back door of the priest's room led right into a back path where +the gates were frequently opened daring the day time. This was about +twelve o'clock, and a most favorable moment for me to escape. In a +moment I had searched the sleeve pocket of the priest, found the key and +a heavy purse of gold which I secured in my dress pocket. I opened the +little writing desk and took out the key to the back door. I saw that +the priest was not dead, and I had not the least doubt from appearances, +but that he would soon come to. I trembled for fear he might wake before +I could get away. I thought of my dear Tuscan sister in her wretched +cell, but I could not get to her without being discovered. There was no +time to be lost. I opened the door with the greatest facility and gained +the opening into the back path. I locked the door after me, and brought +the key with me for a short distance, then placed all the keys tinder +a rock. I had no hat but only a black veil. I threw that over my head +after the fashion of Italy and gained the outer gate. There were masons +at work near the gate which was open and I passed through into the +street without being questioned by any one. + +As I had not a nun's dress on, no one supposed I belonged to the +Institution. I walked down directly to the sea coast. I could speak a +few English words which I had learned from some English friends of my +father. Before I got to where the boats lay I saw a gentleman whom I +took to be an English or American gentleman. He had a pleasant face, +looked at me very kindly, saw my pale dejected face and at once felt a +deep sympathy for me. As I appeared to be in trouble and needed help, +he extended his hand to me and said in tolerable good Italian, "Como va' +le' signorina?" that is "How do you do young lady?" I asked him what +was his country. "Me," said he, "Americano, Americano, capitano de +Bastimento." (American captain of a ship.) "Signor Capitano," said I, +"I wish to go on board your ship and see an American ship." "Well," said +he, "with a great deal of pleasure; my ship lies at anchor, my men are +waiting; you shall dine with me, Signorina." + +I praised God in my soul for this merciful providence of meeting a +friend, though a stranger, whose face seemed to me so honest and so +true. Any condition, even honest slavery, would have been preferred by +me at that time to a convent. The American ship was the most +beautiful thing I ever saw afloat; splendid and neat in all her cabin +arrangements. The mates were polite, and the sailors appeared neat and +happy. Even the black cook showed his beautiful white teeth, as though +he was glad to see one of the ladies of Italy. Poor fellows! Little did +they know at that time what peril I was in should I be found out and +taken back to my dungeon again. I informed the captain of my situation, +of having just escaped from a convent into which I had been forced +against my will. I told him I would pay him my passage to America, if +he would hide me somewhere until the ship was well out to sea. He said +I had come just in time, for he was only waiting for a fair wind, and +hoped to be off that evening. "I have," said he, "a large number of +bread-casks on board, and two are empty. I shall have you put into one +of these, in which I shall make augur-holes, so that you can have plenty +of fresh air. Down in the hold amongst the provisions you will be safe." +I thanked my kind friend and requested him to buy me some needles, silk, +and cotton thread, and some stuff for a couple of dresses, and one-piece +of fine cotton, so that I might make myself comfortable during the +voyage. + +After I ate my dinner, the men called the captain and said there were +several boats full of soldiers coming to the ship, accompanied by the +priests. "Lady," exclaimed the captain, "they are after you. There is +not a moment to be lost. Follow me," he continued. "And, Mr. Smith, tell +the men to be careful and not make known that there is a lady on board." + +An awful cold chill ran over me. I followed my friend quickly, and soon +found myself coiled in a large cask. The captain coopered the head, +which was missing, and made holes for me to get the air; but the +perspiration ran off my face in a stream. Lots of things were piled on +the cask, so that I had hard work to breathe; but such was my fear +of the priests that I would rather have perished in the cask than be +returned to die by inches. + +The captain had been gone but a short time when I heard steps on deck, +and much noise and confusion. As the hatches were open, I could hear +very distinctly. After the whole company were on deck, the captain +invited the priests and friars, about twenty in number, to walk down to +the cabin, and explain the cause of their visit. They talked through an +interpreter, and said that "a woman of bad character had robbed one of +the churches of a large amount of gold, had attempted to murder one +of the holy priests, but they were happy to say that the holy father, +though badly wounded, was in a fair way of recovery. This woman is +young, but very desperate, has awful raving fits, and has recently +escaped from a lunatic institution. When her fits of madness come on +they are obliged to put her into a straight jacket, for she is the most +dangerous person in Italy. A great reward is offered for her by her +father and the government--five thousand scudi. Is not this enough to +tempt one to help find her? She was seen coming towards the shipping, +and we want the privilege of searching your ship." + +"Gentlemen," said the captain, "I do not know that the Italian +authorities have any right to search an American ship, under the stars +and stripes of the United States, for we do not allow even the greatest +naval power on earth to do that thing. But if such a mad and dangerous +woman as you have described should by any means have smuggled herself +on board my ship, you are quite welcome to take her away as soon as +possible, for I should be afraid of my life if I was within one hundred +yards of such an unfortunate creature. If you can get her into your +lunatic asylum, the quicker the better; and the five thousand scudi will +come in good time, for I am thinking of building me a larger ship on my +return home. Now, gentlemen, come; I will assist you, for I should like +to see the gold in my pocket." The captain opened all his closets and +secret places, in the cabin and forecastle and in the hold; everything +was searched, all but the identical bread-cask in which I was snugly +coiled. + +After something like half an hour's search, the soldiers of King +Ferdinand and the priests of King Pope left the ship, satisfied that the +crazy nun was not on board; for, judging the captain by themselves, they +thought he certainly would have given up a mad woman for the sake of +five thousand scudi in gold, and for the safety of his own peace and +comfort. A few moments after the Pope's friends had left, the excellent +benevolent captain came down, and speedily and gently knocking off a +few hoops with a hammer, took the head out, and I was free once more +to breathe God's free air. I lifted my trembling heart in thanksgiving, +while tears of gratitude rolled down my cheeks. Yet, as we were still +within the reach of the guns of the papal forts, my heart was by no +means at rest. But the good captain assured me repeatedly that +all danger was past, for he had twenty-five men on board, all true +Protestants, and he declared that all the priests of Naples would walk +over their dead bodies before they should reach his vessel a second +time. "And besides," said the captain, "there are two American +men-of-war in port, who will stand up for the rights of Americans. They +have not yet forgotten Captain Ingraham, of the United States ship +St. Louis, and his rescue from the Austrian papists of the Hungarian +patriot, Martin Kozsta." The captain wisely refused to purchase any +needles or thread for me on shore, or any articles of ladies' dress, +for fear of the Jesuitical spies, who might surmise something and cause +further trouble. But he kindly furnished me with some goods he had +purchased for his own wife, and there were needles and silk enough on +board, so that I soon cut and made a few articles that made me very +comfortable during our voyage of thirty-two days to London. + +Early the next morning we sailed out of the beautiful harbor of Naples, +with a fair wind. The beautiful ship seemed to fly over the blue sea. +I staid on deck gazing at my native city as long as I could. I thought +then of my once happy home, of my poor, broken-hearted mother, of my +unhappy father. Although he had cast me off through the foul play of +Jesuitical intrigue, my love for my dear father remained the same. +"Farewell, my dear Italy," I said to myself. "When, my poor native land, +wilt thou be happy? Never, never, so long as the Pope lives, and his +wicked, murderous priests, to curse thee by their power." + +After we got out into the open sea, the motion of the ship made me feel +very sick, and I was so starved out before I came on board, that what +good provisions I ate on board did not seem to agree with me. My stomach +was in a very bad state, for while I was in the lower regions of the +convent I ate only a small quantity of very stale hard bread once in +twenty-four hours, at the ringing of the vesper bells every evening, and +the water given me was that in which the holy Mother Abbess had washed +her sacred feet. But I must give the holy mother credit for one good +omission--she did not use any soap. + +The captain gave me a good state-room which I occupied with an English +lady passenger. This good lady was accustomed to the sea, therefore, she +did not suffer any inconvenience from sea-sickness; but I was very sick, +so that I kept my berth for five days. This good Protestant lady was +very kind and attentive during the whole passage, and kindly assisted me +in getting my garments made up on board. On our arrival in London, the +captain said that he would sail for America in two weeks time, and very +kindly offered me a free passage to his happy, native land; and I could +not persuade him to take any money for my passage from Naples, nor for +the clothing he had given me. + +My fellow passenger being wealthy, and well acquainted with people in +England, took me to her splendid home, a few miles from London. At her +residence I was introduced to a young French gentleman, a member of the +Evangelical protestant church in France, and a descendant of the pious +persecuted Huguenots. This gentleman speaks good English and Italian, +having enjoyed the privilege of a superior education. His fervent +prayers at the family altar morning and evening made a very deep +impression on my mind. He became deeply interested in my history, and +offered to take me to France, after I should become his lawful wife. + +Though I did not like the idea of choosing another popish country for my +residence, yet as my friend assured me that I should enjoy my protestant +religion unmolested, I gave him my hand and my heart. My lady fellow +passenger was my bridesmaid. We were married by a good protestant +minister. My husband is a wealthy merchant--gives me means and +opportunities for doing good. Home is precious in a foreign land. Our +home is one of piety and peace and happiness. The blessed Bible is read +by us every day. Morning and evening we sing God's praise, and call upon +the name of the Lord. Our prayer is that God may deliver beloved France +and Italy from the curse of popery. + +Another proof of the persecuting spirit of Rome is furnished by the +"Narrative of Raffaele Ciocci, formerly a Benedictine Monk, but who now +'comes forth from Inquisitorial search and torture, and tells us what +he has seen, heard and felt.'" We can make but a few extracts from +this interesting little volume, published by the American and Foreign +Christian Union, who,--to use their own language--"send it forth as a +voice of instruction and warning to the American people. Let the facts +be heard and read. They are not to be set aside by an apology for the +dark ages, nor an appeal to the refinement of the nineteenth century. +Here is Rome, not as she WAS in the midnight of the world, but as she +IS at the present moment. There is the same opposition to private +judgment--the same coercive measures--the same cruel persecution--the +same efforts to crush the civil and religious liberties of her own +subjects, for which she has ever been characterized." + +Ciocci, compelled at an early age to enter the Catholic College--forced, +notwithstanding his deep disgust and earnest remonstrance, to become a +monk--imprisoned--deceived--the victim of priestly artifice and fraud, +at length becomes a Christian. He is of course thrown into a deeper +dungeon; and more exquisite anguish inflicted upon him that he may be +constrained to return to the Romish faith. Of his imprisonment he says, +"We traversed long corridors till we arrived at the door of an apartment +which they requested me to enter, and they themselves retired. On +opening the door I found myself in a close dark room, barely large +enough for the little furniture it contained, which consisted of a small +hard bed, hard as the conscience of an inquisitor, a little table cut +all over, and a dirty ill-used chair. The window which was shut and +barred with iron resisted all my efforts to open it My heart sunk within +me, and I began to cogitate on the destiny in store for me." The Jesuit +Giuliani entering his room, he asked that the window might be opened +for the admission of light and air. Before the words were finished he +exclaimed in a voice of thunder, "How! wretched youth, thou complainest +of the dark, whilst thou art living in the clouds of error? Dost thou +desire the light of heaven, while thou rejectest the light of the +Catholic faith?" + +Ciocci saw that remonstrance was useless, but he reminded his jailer +that he had been sent there for three days, to receive instruction, not +to be treated as a criminal. + +"For three days," he resumed, counterfeiting my tone of voice, "for +three days! That would be nothing. The dainty youth will not forsooth, +be roughly treated; it remains to be seen whether he desires to be +courteously entertained. Be converted, be converted, condemned soul! +Fortunate is it for thee that thou art come to this place. THOU WILT +NEVER quit it excepting with the real fruits of repentance! Among these +silent shades canst thou meditate at thy leisure upon the deplorable +state into which thou hast fallen. Woe unto thee, if thou refusest to +listen to the voice of God, who conducts souls into solitude that he +may speak with them." "So saying," he continues, "he abruptly left me. I +remained alone drooping under the weight of a misfortune, which was the +more severe, because totally unexpected. I stood, I know not how long, +in the same position, but on recovering from this lethargy, my first +idea was of flight. But this thought was at once abandoned. There was no +possibility of flight. Without giving a minute account of the manner +in which I passed my wearisome days and nights in this prison, let it +suffice to say that they were spent in listening to sermons preached to +me four times a day by the fathers Giuliani and Rossini, and in the most +gloomy reflections. + +"In the mean time the miseries I endured were aggravated by the heat of +the season, the wretchedness of the chamber, scantiness of food, and the +rough severity of those by whom I was occasionally visited. Uncertainty +as to when this imprisonment would be at an end, almost drove me wild, +and the first words I addressed to those who approached me were, 'Have +the kindness to tell me when I shall be permitted to leave this place?' +One replied, 'My son, think of hell.' I interrogated another; the answer +was, 'Think my son, how terrible is the death of the sinner!' I spoke +to a third, to a fourth, and one said to me, 'My son, what will be your +feeling, if, on the day of judgment you find yourself on the left hand +of God?' the other, 'Paradise, my son, Paradise!' No one gave me a +direct answer; their object appeared to be to mistify and confound me. +After the first few days, I began to feel most severely the want of +a change of clothing. Accustomed to cleanliness, I found myself +constrained to wear soiled apparel. * * * For the want of a comb, my +hair became rough and entangled. After the fourth day my portion of food +was diminished; a sign, that they were pressing the siege, that it was +their intention to adopt both assault and blockade--to conquer me by +arms, or induce me to capitulate through hunger. I had been shut up in +this wretched place for thirteen days, when, one day, about noon, the +Father Mislei, the author of all my misery, entered my cell. + +"At the sight of this man, resentment overcame every other +consideration, and I advanced towards him fully prepared to indulge my +feelings, when he, with his usual smile, expressed in bland words +his deep regret at having been the cause of my long detention in this +retreat. 'Never could I have supposed,' said he, 'that my anxiety +for the salvation of your soul would have brought you into so much +tribulation. But rest assured the fault is not entirely mine. You have +yourself, in a great degree, by your useless obstinacy, been the cause +of your sufferings. Ah, well, we will yet remedy all.' Not feeling any +confidence in his assurance, I burst out into bitter invectives and +fierce words. He then renewed his protestations, and clothed them with +such a semblance of honesty and truth, that when he ended with this +tender conclusion, 'Be assured, my son, that I love you,' my anger +vanished. * * * I lost sight of the Jesuit, and thought I was addressing +a man, a being capable of sympathising in the distresses of others. 'Ah, +well, father,' said I, 'I need some one on whom I can rely, some one +towards whom I can feel kindly; I will therefore place confidence in +your words.'" After some further conversation, Ciocci was asked if +he wished to leave that place. "If I desire it!" he replied, "what a +strange question! You might as well ask a condemned soul whether he +desires to escape from hell!" At these words the Jesuit started like a +goaded animal, and, forgetting his mission of deceiver, with, knit brows +and compressed lips, he allowed his ferocious soul for one moment +to appear; but, having grown old in deceit, he immediately had the +circumspection to give this movement of rage the appearance of religious +zeal, and exclaimed, "What comparisons are these? Are you not ashamed to +assume the language of the Atheist? By speaking in this way you clearly +manifest how little you deserve to leave this place. But since I have +told you that I love you, I will give you a proof of it by thinking no +more of those irreligious expressions; they shall be forgotten as though +they had never been spoken. Well, the Cardinal proposes to you an easy +way of returning to your monastery." "What does he propose?" "Here is +the way," said he, presenting me with a paper: "copy this with your +own hand; nothing more will be required of you." "I took the paper with +convulsive eagerness. It was a recantation of my faith, there condemned +as erroneous. * * * Upon reading this, I shuddered, and, starting to my +feet, in a solemn attitude and with a firm voice, exclaimed, 'Kill me, +if you please; my life is in your power; but never will I subscribe +to that iniquitous formulary.' The Jesuit, after laboring in vain +to persuade me to his wishes, went away in anger. I now momentarily +expected to be conducted to the torture. Whenever I was taken from my +room to the chapel, I feared lest some trap-door should open beneath +my feet, and therefore took great care to tread in the footsteps of the +Jesuit who preceded me. No one acquainted with the Inquisition will say +that my precaution was needless. My imagination was so filled with the +horrors of this place, that even in my short, interrupted, and feverish +dreams I beheld daggers and axes glittering around me; I heard the noise +of wheels, saw burning piles and heated irons, and woke in convulsive +terror, only to give myself up to gloomy reflections, inspired by the +reality of my situation, and the impressions left by these nocturnal +visions. What tears did I shed in those dreary moments! How innumerable +were the bitter wounds that lacerated my heart! My prayers seemed to me +unworthy to be received by a God of charity, because, notwithstanding +all my efforts to banish from my soul every feeling of resentment +towards my persecutors, hatred returned with redoubled power. I often +repeated the words of Christ, 'Father, forgive them, they know not what +they do;' but immediately a voice would answer, 'This prayer is not +intended for the Jesuits; they resemble not the crucifiers, who were +blind instruments of the rage of the Jews; while these men are fully +conscious of what they are doing; they are the modern Pharisees.' The +reading of the Bible would have afforded me great consolation, but this +was denied me." * * * + +The fourteenth day of his imprisonment he was taken to the council +to hear his sentence, when he was again urged to sign the form of +recantation. But he refused. The Father Rossini then spoke: "You are +decided; let it be, then, as you deserve. Rebellious son of the church, +in the fullness of the power which she has received from Christ, you +shall feel the holy rigor of her laws. She cannot permit tares to grow +with the good seed. She cannot suffer you to remain among her sons and +become the stumbling-block for the ruin of many. Abandon, therefore, +all hope of leaving this place, and of returning to dwell among the +faithful. KNOW, ALL IS FINISHED FOR YOU!" + +For the conclusion of this narrative we refer the reader to the volume +itself. + +If any more evidence were needed to show that the spirit of Romanism is +the same to-day that it has ever been, we find it in the account of +a legal prosecution against ten Christians at Beldac, in France, +for holding and attending a public worship not licensed by the civil +authority. They had made repeated, respectful, and earnest applications +to the prefect of the department of Hante-Vienne for the authorization +required by law, and which, in their case, ought to have been given. +It was flatly refused. They persisted in rendering to God that worship +which his own command and their consciences required. For this they were +arraigned as above stated, on the 10th of August, 1855. On the 26th of +January, 1856, the case was decided by the "tribunal," and the three +pastors and one lady, a schoolmistress, were condemned to pay a fine +of one thousand francs each, and some of the others five-hundred francs +each, the whole amount, together with legal expenditures, exceeding the +sum of nine thousand francs. + +Meantime, the converts continue to hold their worship-meetings in the +woods, barns, and secret places, in order not to be surprised by the +police commissioner, and to avoid new official reports. + +"Thus, you see," says V. De Pressense, in a letter to the 'American and +foreign Christian Union,' "that we are brought back to the religious +meetings of the desert, when the Protestants of the Cevennes evinced +such persevering fidelity. The only difference is, that these Christians +belonged only a short time ago to that church which is now instigating +persecutions against them." + + +DESTRUCTION OF THE INQUISITION IN SPAIN. + +In 1809, Col. Lehmanowsky was attached to the part of Napoleon's army +which was stationed in Madrid. "While in that city," said Col. L., "I +used to speak freely among the people what I thought of the Priests +and Jesuits, and of the Inquisition. It had been decreed by the Emperor +Napoleon that the Inquisition and the Monasteries should be suppressed, +but the decree, he said, like some of the laws enacted in this country, +was not executed." + +Months had passed away, and the prisons of the Inquisition had not been +opened. One night, about ten or eleven o'clock, as he was walking one of +the streets of Madrid, two armed men sprang upon him from an alley, and +made a furious attack. He instantly drew his sword, put himself in a +posture of defence, and while struggling with them, he saw at a distance +the lights of the patrols,--French soldiers mounted, who carried +lanterns, and who rode through the streets of the city at all hours of +the night, to preserve order. He called to them in French, and as they +hastened to his assistance, the assailants took to their heels and +escaped; not, however, before he saw by their dress that they belonged +to the guards of the Inquisition. + +He went immediately to Marshal Soult, then Governor of Madrid, told him +what had taken place, and reminded him of the decree to suppress this +institution. Marshal Soult told him that he might go and suppress it The +Colonel said that his regiment (the 9th. of the Polish Lancers,) was not +sufficient for such a service, but if he would give him two additional +regiments, the 117th, and another which he named, he would undertake the +work. The 117th regiment was under the command of Col. De Lile, who +is now, like Col. L., a minister of the gospel, and pastor of an +evangelical church in Marseilles, France. "The troops required were +granted, and I proceeded," said Col. L., "to the Inquisition which was +situated about five miles from the city. It was surrounded by a wall of +great strength, and defended by a company of soldiers. When we arrived +at the walls, I addressed one of the sentinels, and summoned the holy +fathers to surrender to the Imperial army, and open the gates of the +Inquisition. The sentinel who was standing on the wall, appeared to +enter into conversation with some one within, at the close of which he +presented his musket, and shot one of my men. This was the signal of +attack, and I ordered my troops to fire upon those who appeared on the +walls." + +It was soon obvious that it was an unequal warfare. The soldiers of the +holy office were partially protected by a breast-work upon the walls +which were covered with soldiers, while our troops were in the open +plain, and exposed to a destructive fire. We had no cannon, nor could +we scale the walls, and the gates successfully resisted all attempts at +forcing them. I could not retire and send for cannon to break through +the walls without giving them time to lay a train for blowing us up. +I saw that it was necessary to change the mode of attack, and directed +some trees to be cut down and trimmed, to be used as battering rams. Two +of these were taken up by detachments of men, as numerous as could work +to advantage, and brought to bear upon the walls with all the power they +could exert, while the troops kept up a fire to protect them from the +fire poured upon them from the walls. Presently the walls began to +tremble, a breach was made, and the Imperial troops rushed into the +Inquisition. Here we met with an incident, which nothing but Jesuitical +effrontery is equal to. The Inquisitor General, followed by the father +confessors in their priestly robes, all came out of their rooms, as we +were making our way into the interior of the Inquisition, and with long +faces, and arms crossed over their breasts, their fingers resting on +their shoulders, as though they had been deaf to all the noise of +the attack and defence, and had just learned what was going on, they +addressed themselves in the language of rebuke to their own soldiers, +saying, "WHY DO YOU FIGHT OUR FRIENDS, THE FRENCH?" + +Their intention, no doubt, was to make us think that this defence was +wholly unauthorized by them, hoping, if they could make us believe +that they were friendly, they should have a better opportunity, in the +confusion of the moment, to escape. Their artifice was too shallow, and +did not succeed. I caused them to be placed under guard, and all +the soldiers of the Inquisition to be secured as prisoners. We then +proceeded to examine all the rooms of the stately edifice. We passed +through room after room; found all perfectly in order, richly furnished, +with altars and crucifixes, and wax candles in abundance, but we could +discover no evidences of iniquity being practiced there, nothing of +those peculiar features which we expected to find in an Inquisition. +We found splendid paintings, and a rich and extensive library. Here was +beauty and splendor, and the most perfect order on which my eyes +had ever rested. The architecture, the proportions were perfect. The +ceilings and floors of wood were scoured and highly polished. The marble +floors were arranged with a strict regard to order. There was everything +to please the eye and gratify a cultivated taste; but where were those +horrid instruments of torture, of which we had been told, and where +those dungeons in which human beings were said to be buried alive? We +searched in vain. The holy father assured us that they had been +belied; that we had seen all; and I was prepared to give up the search, +convinced that this Inquisition was different from others of which I had +heard. + +But Col. De Idle was not so ready as myself to give up the search, and +said to me, "Colonel, you are commander to-day, and as you say, so it +must be; but if you will be advised by me, let this marble floor be +examined. Let water be brought and poured upon it, and we will watch +and see if there is any place through which it passes more freely than +others." I replied to him, "Do as you please, Colonel," and ordered +water to be brought accordingly. The slabs of marble were large and +beautifully polished. When the water had been poured over the floor, +much to the dissatisfaction of the inquisitors, a careful examination +was made of every seam in the floor, to see if the water passed through. +Presently Col. De Lile exclaimed that he had found it. By the side of +one of these marble slabs the water passed through fast, as though +there was an opening beneath. All hands were now at work for further +discovery; the officers with their swords and the soldiers with their +bayonets, seeking to clear out the seam, and pry up the slab; others +with the butts of their muskets striking the slab with all their might +to break it, while the priests remonstrated against our desecrating +their holy and beautiful house. While thus engaged, a soldier, who was +striking with the butt of his musket, struck a spring, and the marble +slab flew up. Then the faces of the inquisitors grew pale as Belshazzar +when the hand writing appeared on the wall; they trembled all over; +beneath the marble slab, now partly up, there was a stair-case. I +stepped to the altar, and took from the candlestick one of the candles +four feet in length, which was burning that I might explore the room +below. As I was doing this, I was arrested by one of the inquisitors, +who laid his hand gently on my arm, and with a very demure and holy look +said "My son, you must not take those lights with your bloody hands they +are holy." "Well," said I, "I will take a holy thing to shed light +on iniquity; I will bear the responsibility." I took the candle, and +proceeded down the stair-case. As we reached the foot of the stairs +we entered a large room which was called the hall of judgment. In the +centre of it was a large block, and a chain fastened to it. On this they +were accustomed to place the accused, chained to his seat. On one side +of the room was an elevated seat called the Throne of Judgment. This, +the Inquisitor General occupied, and on either side were seats less +elevated, for the holy fathers when engaged in the solemn business of +the Holy Inquisition. + +From this room we proceeded to the right, and obtained access to small +cells extending the entire length of the edifice; and here such sights +were presented as we hoped never to see again. Three cells were places +of solitary confinement, where the wretched objects of inquisitorial +hate were confined year after year, till death released them from their +sufferings, and their bodies were suffered to remain until they were +entirely decayed, and the rooms had become fit for others to occupy. +To prevent this being offensive to those who occupied the Inquisition, +there were flues or tubes extending to the open air, sufficiently +capacious to carry off the odor. In these cells we found the remains +of some who had paid the debt of nature: some of them had been dead +apparently but a short time, while of others nothing remained but their +bones, still chained to the floor of their dungeon. + +In others we found living sufferers of both sexes and of every age, from +three score years and ten down to fourteen or fifteen years--all naked +as they were born into the world! And all in chains! Here were old men +and aged women, who had been shut up for many years. Here, too, were the +middle aged, and the young man and the maiden of fourteen years old. +The soldiers immediately went to work to release the captives from +their chains, and took from their knapsacks their overcoats and +other clothing, which they gave to cover their nakedness. They were +exceedingly anxious to bring them out to the light of day; but Col. +L., aware of the danger, had food given them, and then brought them +gradually to the light, as they were able to bear it. + +We then proceeded, said Col. L., to explore another room on the left. +Here we found the instruments of torture, of every kind which the +ingenuity of men or devils could invent. Col. L., here described four +of these horrid instruments. The first was a machine by which the victim +was confined, and then, beginning with the fingers, every joint in the +hands, arms and body, were broken or drawn one after another, until the +victim died. The second was a box, in which the head and neck of the +victim were so closely confined by a screw that he could not move in any +way. Over the box was a vessel, from which one drop of water a second, +fell upon the head of the victim;--every successive drop falling upon +precisely the same place on the head, suspended the circulation in a few +moments, and put the sufferer in the most excruciating agony. The third +was an infernal machine, laid horizontally, to which the victim was +bound; the machine then being placed between two beams, in which were +scores of knives so fixed that, by turning the machine with a crank, the +flesh of the sufferer was torn from his limbs, all in small pieces. The +fourth surpassed the others in fiendish ingenuity. Its exterior was +a beautiful woman, or large doll, richly dressed, with arms extended, +ready, to embrace its victim. Around her feet a semi-circle was drawn. +The victim who passed over this fatal mark, touched a spring which +caused the diabolical engine to open; its arms clasped him, and a +thousand knives cut him into as many pieces in the deadly embrace. Col. +L., said that the sight of these engines of infernal cruelty kindled the +rage of the soldiers to fury. They declared that every inquisitor and +soldier of the inquisition should be put to the torture. Their rage was +ungovernable. Col. L., did not oppose them. They might have turned their +arms against him if he had attempted to arrest their work. They began +with the holy fathers. The first they put to death in the machine for +breaking joints. The torture of the inquisitor put to death by the +dropping of water on his head was most excruciating. The poor man cried +out in agony to be taken from the fatal machine. The inquisitor general +was brought before the infernal engine called "The Virgin." He begged to +be excused. "No" said they, "you have caused others to kiss her, and +now you must do it." They interlocked their bayonets so as to form large +forks, and with these pushed him over the deadly circle. The beautiful +image instantly prepared for the embrace, clasped him in its arms, +and he was cut into innumerable pieces. Col. L. said, he witnessed the +torture of four of them--his heart sickened at the awful scene--and he +left the soldiers to wreak their vengeance on the last guilty inmate of +that prison-house of hell. + +In the mean time it was reported through Madrid that the prisons of the +Inquisition were broken open, and multitudes hastened to the fatal spot. +And, Oh, what a meeting was there! It was like a resurrection! About a +hundred who had been buried for many years were now restored to life. +There were fathers who had found their long lost daughters; wives were +restored to their husbands, sisters to their brothers, parents to their +children; and there were some who could recognize no friend among the +multitude. The scene was such as no tongue can describe. + +When the multitude had retired, Col. L. caused the library, paintings, +furniture, etc., to be removed, and having sent to the city for a wagon +load of powder, he deposited a large quantity in the vaults beneath +the building, and placed a slow match in connection with it. All had +withdrawn to a distance, and in a few moments there was a most joyful +sight to thousands. The walls and turrets of the massive structure rose +majestically towards the heavens, impelled by the tremendous explosion, +and fell back to the earth an immense heap of ruins. The Inquisition was +no more! + +Such is the account given by Col. Lehmanowsky of the destruction of the +inquisition in Spain. Was it then finally destroyed, never again to be +revived? Listen to the testimony of the Rev. Giacinto Achilli, D. D. +Surely, his statements in this respect can be relied upon, for he is +himself a convert from Romanism, and was formerly the "Head Professor of +Theology, and Vicar of the Master of the Sacred Apostolic Palace." + +He certainly had every opportunity to obtain correct information on the +subject, and in a book published by him in 1851, entitled "Dealings +with the Inquisition," we find, (page 71) the following startling +announcement. "We are now in the middle of the nineteenth century, and +still the Inquisition is actually and potentially in existence. This +disgrace to humanity, whose entire history is a mass of atrocious +crimes, committed by the priests of the Church of Rome, in the name of +God and of His Christ, whose vicar and representative, the pope, the +head of the Inquisition, declares himself to be,--this abominable +institution is still in existence in Rome and in the Roman States." + +Again, (page 89) he says, "And this most infamous Inquisition, a hundred +times destroyed and as often renewed, still exists in Rome as in the +barbarous ages; the only difference being that the same iniquities are +at present practiced there with a little more secrecy and caution than +formerly, and this for the sake of prudence, that the Holy See may not +be subjected to the animadversions of the world at large." + +On page 82 of the same work we find the following language. "I do not +propose to myself to speak of the Inquisition of times past, but of what +exists in Rome at the present moment; I shall therefore assert that the +laws of this institution being in no respect changed, neither can the +institution itself be said to have undergone any alteration. The present +race of priests who are now in power are too much afraid of the popular +indignation to let loose all their inquisitorial fury, which might even +occasion a revolt if they were not to restrain it; the whole world, +moreover, would cry out against them, a crusade would be raised against +the Inquisition, and, for a little temporary gratification, much power +would be endangered. This is the true reason why the severity of its +penalties is in some degree relaxed at the present time, but they still +remain unaltered in its code." + +Again on page 102, he says, "Are the torments which are employed at the +present day at the Inquisition all a fiction? It requires the impudence +of an inquisitor, or of the Archbishop of Westminister to deny their +existence. I have myself heard these evil-minded persons lament and +complain that their victims were treated with too much lenity. + +"What is it you desire?" I inquired of the inquisitor of Spoleto. +"That which St. Thomas Aquinas says," answered he; "DEATH TO ALL THE +HERETICS." + +"Hand over, then, to one of these people, a person, however respectable; +give him up to one of the inquisitors, (he who quoted St. Thomas Aquinas +to me was made an Archbishop)--give up, I say, the present Archbishop of +Canterbury, an amiable and pious man, to one of these rabid inquisitors; +he must either deny his faith or be burned alive. Is my statement +false? Am I doting? Is not this the spirit that invariably actuates the +inquisitors? and not the inquisitors only, but all those who in any +way defile themselves with the inquisition, such as bishops and their +vicars, and all those who defend it, as the papists do. There is the +renowned Dr. Wiseman, the Archbishop of Westminster according to the +pope's creation, the same who has had the assurance to censure me from +his pulpit, and to publish an infamous article in the Dublin Review, in +which he has raked together, as on a dunghill, every species of filth +from the sons of Ignatius Loyola; and there is no lie or calumny that he +has not made use of against me. Well, then, suppose I were to be handed +over to the tender mercy of Dr. Wiseman, and he had the full power to +dispose of me as he chose, without fear of losing his character in +the eyes of the nation to which, by parentage more than by merit, he +belongs, what do you imagine he would do with me? Should I not have to +undergo some death more terrible than ordinary? Would not a council be +held with the reverend fathers of the company of Loyola, the same who +have suggested the abominable calumnies above alluded to, in order +to invent some refined method of putting me out of the world? I feel +persuaded that if I were condemned by the Inquisition to be burned +alive, my calumniator would have great pleasure in building my funeral +pile, and setting fire to it with his own hands; or should strangulation +be preferred, that he would, with equal readiness, arrange the cord +around my neck; and all for the honor and glory of the Inquisition, of +which, according to his oath, he is a true and faithful servant." + +This, then, according to Dr. Achilli is the spirit of Romanism! Can we +doubt that it would lead to results as frightful as anything described +in the foregoing story? + +But let us listen to his further remarks on the present state of the +Inquisition. On page 75 he says, "What, then, is the Inquisition of the +nineteenth century? The same system of intolerance which prevailed in +the barbarous ages. That which raised the Crusade and roused all Europe +to arms at the voice of a monk [Footnote: Bernard of Chiaravalle.] and +of a hermit, [Footnote: Peter the Hermit.] That which--in the name of +a God of peace, manifested on earth by Christ, who, through love +for sinners, gave himself to be crucified--brought slaughter on the +Albigenses and the Waldenses; filled France with desolation, under +Domenico di Guzman; raised in Spain the funeral pile and the scaffold, +devastating the fair kingdoms of Granada and Castile, through the +assistance of those detestable monks, Raimond de Pennefort, Peter +Arbues, and Cardinal Forquemorda. That, which, to its eternal infamy, +registers in the annals of France the fatal 24th of August, and the 5th +of November in those of England." + +That same system which at this moment flourishes at Rome, which has +never yet been either worn out or modified, and which at this present +time, in the jargon of the priests, is called a "the holy, Roman, +universal, apostolic Inquisition. Holy, as the place where Christ was +crucified is holy; apostolic, because Judas Iscariot was the first +inquisitor; Roman and universal, because FROM ROME IT EXTENDS OVER ALL +THE WORLD. It is denied by some that the Inquisition which exists in +Rome as its centre, is extended throughout the world by means of the +missionaries. The Roman Inquisition and the Roman Propaganda are in +close connection with each other. Every bishop who is sent in partibus +infidelium, is an inquisitor charged to discover, through the means of +his missionaries, whatever is said or done by others in reference to +Rome, with the obligation to make his report secretly. The Apostolic +nuncios are all inquisitors, as are also the Apostolic vicars. Here, +then, we see the Roman Inquisition extending to the most remote +countries." Again this same writer informs us, (page 112,) that "the +principal object of the Inquisition is to possess themselves, by +every means in their power, of the secrets of every class of society. +Consequently its agents (Jesuits and Missionaries,) enter the domestic +circle, observe every motion, listen to every conversation, and would, +if possible, become acquainted with the most hidden thoughts. It is in +fact, the police, not only of Rome, but of all Italy; INDEED, IT MAY BE +SAID OF THE WHOLE WORLD." + +The above statements of Dr. Achilli are fully corroborated by the Rev. +Wm. H. Rule, of London. In a book published by him in 1852, entitled +"The Brand of Dominic," we find the following remarks in relation to the +Inquisition of the present time. The Roman Inquisition is, therefore, +acknowledged to have an infinite multitude of affairs constantly on +hand, which necessitates its assemblage thrice every week. Still there +are criminals, and criminal processes. The body of officials are still +maintained on established revenues of the holy office. So far from any +mitigation of severity or judicial improvement in the spirit of its +administration, the criminal has now no choice of an advocate; but one +person, and he a servant of the Inquisition, performs an idle ceremony, +under the name of advocacy, for the conviction of all. And let the +reader mark, that as there are bishops in partibus, so, in like manner, +there are inquisitors of the same class appointed in every country, and +chiefly, in Great Britain and the colonies, who are sworn to secrecy, +and of course communicate intelligence to this sacred congregation of +all that can be conceived capable of comprehension within the infinitude +of its affairs. We must, therefore, either believe that the court +of Rome is not in earnest, and that this apparatus of universal +jurisdiction is but a shadow,--an assumption which is contrary to all +experience,--or we must understand that the spies and familiars of the +Inquisition are listening at our doors, and intruding themselves on our +hearths. How they proceed, and what their brethren at Rome are doing, +events may tell; BUT WE MAY BE SURE THEY ARE NOT IDLE. + +They were not idle in Rome in 1825, when they rebuilt the prisons of +the Inquisition. They were not idle in 1842, when they imprisoned Dr. +Achilli for heresy, as he assures us; nor was the captain, or some other +of the subalterns, who, acting in their name, took his watch from him +as he came out. They were not idle in 1843, when they renewed the old +edicts against the Jews. And all the world knows that the inquisitors on +their stations throughout the pontifical states, and the inquisitorial +agents in Italy, Germany, and Eastern Europe, were never more active +than during the last four years, and even at this moment, when every +political misdemeanor that is deemed offensive to the Pope, is, +constructively, a sin against the Inquisition, and visited with +punishment accordingly. A deliberative body, holding formal session +thrice every week, cannot be idle, and although it may please them to +deny that Dr. Achilli saw and examined a black book, containing the +praxis now in use, the criminal code of inquisitors in force at this +day,--as Archibald Bower had an abstract of such a book given him for +his use about one hundred and thirty years ago,--they cannot convince +me that I have not seen and handled, and used in the preparation of this +volume, the compendium of an unpublished Roman code of inquisitorial +regulations, given to the vicars of the inquisitor-general of Modena. +They may be pleased to say that the mordacchia, or gag, of which Dr. +Achilli speaks, as mentioned in that BLACK BOOK, is no longer used; +but that it is mentioned there, and might be used again is more than +credible to myself, after having seen that the "sacred congregation" has +fixed a rate of fees for the ordering, witnessing, and administration of +TORTURE. There was indeed, a talk of abolishing torture at Rome; but +we have reason to believe that the congregation will not drop the +mordacchia, inasmuch, as, instead of notifying any such reformation to +the courts of Europe, this congregation has kept silence. For although a +continuation of the bullary has just been published at Rome, containing +several decrees of this congregation, there is not one that announces +a fulfilment of this illusory promise,--a promise imagined by a +correspondent to French newspapers, but never given by the inquisitors +themselves. And as there is no proof that they have yet abstained from +torture, there is a large amount of circumstantial evidence that they +have delighted themselves in death. And why not? When public burnings +became inexpedient--as at Goa--did they not make provision for private +executions? + +For a third time at least the Roman prisons--I am not speaking of those +of the provinces--were broken open, in 1849, after the desertion of Pius +IX., and two prisoners were found there, an aged bishop and a nun. +Many persons in Rome reported the event; but instead of copying what is +already before the public, I translate a letter addressed to me by P. +Alessandro Gavazzi, late chaplain-general of the Roman army, in reply +to a few questions which I had put to him. All who have heard his +statements may judge whether his account of facts be not marked with +every note of accuracy. They will believe that his power of oratory DOES +NOT betray him into random declamation. Under date of March 20th, 1852, +he writes thus: + +"MY DEAR SIR,--In answering your questions concerning the palace of +Inquisition at Rome, I should say that I can give only a few superficial +and imperfect notes. So short was the time that it remained open to the +public, So great the crowd of persons that pressed to catch a sight of +it, and so intense the horror inspired by that accursed place, that I +could not obtain a more exact and particular impression. + +"I found no instruments of torture, [Footnote: "The gag, the +thumb-screw, and many other instruments of severe torture could be +easily destroyed and others as easily procured. The non-appearance of +instruments is not enough to sustain the current belief that the use of +them is discontinued. So long as there is a secret prison, and while +all the existing standards of inquisitorial practice make torture +an ordinary expedient for extorting information, not even a bull, +prohibiting torture, would be sufficient to convince the world that +it has been discontinued. The practice of falsehood is enjoined on +inquisitors. How, then, could we believe a bull, or decree, if it were +put forth to-morrow, to release them from suspicion, or to screen them +from obloquy? It would not be entitled to belief."--Rev. Wm. H. Rule.] +for they were destroyed at the time of the first French invasion, +and because such instruments were not used afterwards by the modern +Inquisition. I did, however, find, in one of the prisons of the second +court, a furnace, and the remains of a woman's dress. I shall never be +able to believe that that furnace was placed there for the use of the +living, it not being in such a place, or of such a kind, as to be of +service to them. Everything, on the contrary, combines to persuade me +that it was made use of for horrible deaths, and to consume the remains +of the victims of inquisitorial executions. Another object of horror I +found between the great hall of judgment and the luxurious apartment of +the chief jailer (primo custode), the Dominican friar who presides over +this diabolical establishment. This was a deep trap or shaft opening +into the vaults under the Inquisition. As soon as the so-called criminal +had confessed his offence; the second keeper, who is always a Dominican +friar, sent him to the father commissary to receive a relaxation +[Footnote: "In Spain, RELAXATION is delivery to death. In the +established style of the Inquisition it has the same meaning. But in the +common language of Rome it means RELEASE. In the lips of the inquisitor, +therefore, if he used the word, it has one meaning, and another to the +ear of the prisoner."--Rev. Wm. H. Rule.] of his punishment. With the +hope of pardon, the confessed culprit would go towards the apartment of +the holy inquisitor; but in the act of setting foot at its entrance, +the trap opened, and the world of the living heard no more of him. I +examined some of the earth found in the pit below this trap; it was a +compost of common earth, rottenness, ashes, and human hair, fetid to the +smell, and horrible to the sight and to the thought of the beholder. + +"But where popular fury reached its highest pitch was in the vaults of +St. Pius V. I am anxious that you should note well that this pope was +canonized by the Roman church especially for his zeal against heretics. +I will now describe to you the manner how, and the place where, those +vicars of Jesus Christ handled the living members of Jesus Christ, and +show you how they proceeded for their healing. You descend into the +vaults by very narrow stairs. A narrow corridor leads you to the +several cells, which, for smallness and stench, are a hundred times more +horrible than the dens of lions and tigers in the Colosseum. Wandering +in this labyrinth of most fearful prisons, that may be called 'graves +for the living,' I came to a cell full of skeletons without skulls, +buried in lime, and the skulls, detached from the bodies, had been +collected in a hamper by the first visitors. Whose were those skeletons? +and why were they buried in that place and in that manner? I have heard +some popish priests trying to defend the Inquisition from the charge of +having condemned its victims to a secret death, say that the palace of +the Inquisition was built on a burial-ground, belonging anciently to a +hospital for pilgrims, and that the skeletons found were none other +than those of pilgrims who had died in that hospital. But everything +contradicts this papistical defence. Suppose that there had been a +cemetery there, it could not have had subterranean galleries and +cells, laid out with so great regularity; and even if there had been +such--against all probability--the remains of bodies would have been +removed on laying the foundation of the palace, to leave the space free +for the subterranean part of the Inquisition. Besides, it is contrary to +the use of common tombs to bury the dead by carrying them through a door +at the side; for the mouth of the sepulchre is always at the top. And +again, it has never been the custom in Italy to bury the dead singly in +quick lime; but, in time of plague, the dead bodies have been usually +laid in a grave until it was sufficiently full, and then quick lime has +been laid over them, to prevent pestilential exhalations, by hastening +the decomposition of the infected corpses. This custom was continued, +some years ago, in the cemeteries of Naples, and especially in the daily +burial of the poor. Therefore, the skeletons found in the Inquisition +of Rome could not belong to persons who had died a natural death in +a hospital; nor could any one, under such a supposition, explain the +mystery of all the bodies being buried in lime except the head. It +remains, then, beyond a doubt, that that subterranean vault contained +the victims of one of the many secret martyrdoms of the butcherly +tribunal. The following is the most probable opinion, if it be not +rather the history of a fact: + +"The condemned were immersed in a bath of slaked lime, gradually filled +up to their necks. The lime by little and little enclosed the sufferers, +or walled them up alive. The torment was extreme but slow. As the lime +rose higher and higher, the respiration became more and more painful, +because more difficult. So that what with the suffocation of the smoke, +and the anguish of the compressed breathing, they died in a manner most +horrible and desperate. Some time after their death the heads would +naturally separate from the bodies, and roll away into the hollows made +by the shrinking of the lime. Any other explanation of the feet that may +be attempted will be found improbable and unnatural. You may make what +use you please of these notes of mine, since I can warrant their +truth. I wish that writers, speaking of this infamous tribunal of the +Inquisition, would derive their information from pure history, unmingled +with romance; for so great and so many the historical atrocities of the +Inquisition, that they would more than suffice to arouse the detestation +of a thousand worlds. I know that the popish impostor-priests go about +saying that the Inquisition was never an ecclesiastical tribunal, but +a laic. But you will have shown the contrary in your work, and may also +add, in order quite to unmask these lying preachers, that the palace +of the Inquisition at Rome is under the shadow of the palace of the +Vatican; that the keepers are to this day, Dominican friars; and that +the prefect of the Inquisition at Rome is the Pope in person. + +"I have the honor to be your affectionate Servant, + +"ALESSANDRA GAVAZZI." + + +"The Roman parliament decreed the erection of a pillar opposite the +palace of the Inquisition, to perpetuate the memory of the destruction +of that nest of abominations; but before that or any other monument +could be raised, the French army besieged and took the city, restored +the Pope, and with him the tribunal of the faith. Not only was Dr. +Achilli thrown into one of its old prisons, on the 29th of July 1849, +but the violence of the people having made the building less adequate +to the purpose of safe keeping, he was transferred to the castle of +St. Angelo, which had often been employed for the custody of similar +delinquents, and there he lay in close confinement until the 9th of +January, 1850, when the French authorities, yielding to influential +representations from this country assisted him to escape in disguise as +a soldier, thus removing an occasion of scandal, but carefully leaving +the authority of the congregation of cardinals undisputed. Indeed +they first obtained the verbal sanction of the commissary, who saw it +expedient to let his victim go, and hush an outcry. + +"Yet some have the hardihood to affirm that there is no longer any +Inquisition; and as the Inquisitors were instructed to suppress the +truth, to deny their knowledge of cases actually passing through their +hands, and to fabricate falsehoods for the sake of preserving the +SECRET, because the secret was absolutely necessary to the preservation +of their office, so do the Inquisitors in partibus falsify and illude +without the least scruple of conscience, in order to put the people of +this country off their guard. + +"That the Inquisition really exists, is placed beyond a doubt by its +daily action as a visible institution at Rome. But if any one should +fancy that it was abolished after the release of Dr. Achilli, let him +hear a sentence contradictory, from a bull of the Pope himself, Pius IX, +a document that was dated at Rome, August 22, 1851, where the pontiff, +condemning the works of Professor Nuytz, of Turin, says, "after having +taken the advice of the doctors in theology and canon law, AFTER HAVING +COLLECTED THE SUFFRAGES OF OUR VENERABLE BROTHERS THE CARDINALS OF THE +CONGREGATION OF THE SUPREME AND UNIVERSAL INQUISITION." And so recently +as March, 1852, by letters of the Secretariate of State, he appointed +four cardinals to be "members of the Sacred Congregation of the Holy +Roman and Universal Inquisition;" giving incontrovertible evidence that +provision is made for attending to communications of Inquisitors in +partibus from all parts of the world. As the old cardinals die off, +their vacant seats are filled by others. The 'immortal legion' is +punctually recruited. + +"After all, have we in Great Britain, Ireland and the colonies, and our +brethren of the foreign mission stations, any reason to apprehend harm +to, ourselves from the Inquisition as it is? In reply to this question, +let it be observed; + +"1. That there are Inquisitors in partibus is not to be denied. That +letters of these Inquisitors are laid before the Roman Inquisition is +equally certain. Even in the time of Leo XII, when the church of +Rome was far less active in the British empire than it is now, some +particular case was always decided on Thursday, when the Pope, in his +character of universal Inquisitor, presided in the congregation. It +cannot be thought that now, in the height of its exultation, daring and +aggression, this congregation has fewer emissaries, or that they are +less active, or less communicative than they were at that time. We +also see that the number is constantly replenished. The cardinals Della +Genga-Sermattei; De Azevedo; Fornari; and Lucciardi have just been added +to it. + +"2. Besides a cardinal in England, and a delegate in Ireland, there is +both in England and Ireland, a body of bishops, 'natural Inquisitors,' +as they are always acknowledged, and have often claimed to be; and these +natural Inquisitors are all sworn to keep the secret--the soul of the +Inquisition. Since, then, there are Inquisitors in partibus, appointed +to supply the lack of an avowed and stationary Inquisition, and since +the bishops are the very persons whom the court of Rome can best +command, as pledged for such a service, it is reasonable to suppose they +act in that capacity. + +"3. Some of the proceedings of these bishops confirm the assurance that +there is now an Inquisition in activity in England. * * * The vigilance +exercised over families, also the intermeddling of priests with +education, both in families and schools, and with the innumerable +relations of civil society, can only be traced back to the Inquisitors +in partibus, whose peculiar duty, whether by help of confessors or +familiars, is to worm out every secret of affairs, private or public, +and to organize and conduct measures of repression or of punishment. +Where the secular arm cannot be borrowed, and where offenders lie beyond +the reach of excommunication, irregular methods must be resorted to, +not rejecting any as too crafty or too violent. Discontented mobs, or +individual zealots are to be found or bought. What part the Inquisitors +in partibus play in Irish assassinations, or in the general mass of +murderous assaults that is perpetrated in the lower haunts of crime, +it is impossible to say. Under cover of confessional and Inquisitorial +secrets, spreads a broad field of action--a region of mystery--only +visible to the eye of God, and to those 'most reverend and most eminent' +guardians of the papacy, who sit thrice every week, in the Minerva +and Vatican, and there manage the hidden springs of Inquisition on the +heretics, schismatics, and rebels, no less than on 'the faithful' +of realms. Who can calculate the extent of their power over those +'religious houses,' where so many of the inmates are but neophytes, +unfitted by British education for the intellectual and moral abnegation, +the surrender of mind and conscience, which monastic discipline +exacts? Yet they must be coerced into submission, and kept under penal +discipline. Who can tell how many of their own clergy are withdrawn +to Rome, and there delated, imprisoned, and left to perish, if not +'relaxed' to death, in punishment of heretical opinions or liberal +practices? We have heard of laymen, too, taken to Rome by force, or +decoyed thither under false pretences there to be punished by the +universal Inquisition; and whatever of incredibility may appear in some +tales of Inquisitorial abduction, the general fact that such abductions +have taken place, seems to be incontrovertible. And now that the +Inquisitors in partibus are distributed over Christendom, and that they +provide the Roman Inquisition with daily work from year's end to year's +end, is among the things most certain,--even the most careless of +Englishmen must acknowledge that we have all reason to apprehend much +evil from the Inquisition as it is. And no Christian can be aware of +this fact, without feeling himself more than ever bound to uphold +the cause of christianity, both at home and abroad, as the only +counteractive of so dire a curse, and the only remedy of so vast an +evil." Rev. Wm. Rule, London. + +The Rev. E. A. Lawrence, writing of "Romanism at Rome," gives us the +following vivid description of the present state of the Roman Church. + +"Next is seen at Rome the PROPAGANDA, the great missionary heart of the +whole masterly system. Noiselessly, by the multiform orders of monks and +nuns, as through so many veins and arteries, it sends out and receives +back its vital fluid. In its halls, the whole world is distinctly +mapped out, and the chief points of influence minutely marked. A kind of +telegraphic communication is established with the remotest stations in +South Africa and Siberia, and with almost every nook in our own land, +to which the myrmidons of Papal power look with the most of fear. It +is through means of this moral galvanic battery, set up in the Vatican, +that the Church of Rome has gained its power of UBIQUITY--has so well +nigh made itself OMNIPOTENT, as well as omnipresent. + +"It is no mean or puny antagonist that strides across the path of a +free, spiritual and advancing Protestantism. And yet, with a simple +shepherd's sling, and the smooth stones gathered from Siloa's brook, God +will give it the victory. + +"Once more let us look, and we shall find at Rome, still working in its +dark, malignant efficiency, the INQUISITION. Men are still made to pass +through fires of this Moloch. This is the grand defensive expedient of +the Papacy, and is the chief tribunal of the States. Its processes are +all as secret as the grave. Its cells are full of dead men's bones. They +call it the Asylum for the poor--a retreat for doubting and distressed +pilgrims, where they may have experience of the parental kindness of +their father the Pope, and their mother the church. + +"Dr. Achilli had a trial of this beneficient discipline, when thrown +into the deep dungeon of St. Angelo. And how many other poor victims of +this diabolical institution are at this moment pining in agony, heaven +knows. + +"In America, we talk about Rome as having ceased to persecute. IT IS A +MISTAKE. She holds to the principle as tenaciously as ever. She cannot +dispense with it. Of the evil spirit of Protestantism she says, "This +kind goeth not out, but by fire." Her reign, is a reign of terror. +Hence she must hold both the principle and the power of persecution, of +compelling men to believe, or, if they doubt, of putting them to death +for their own good. Take from her this power and she bites the dust." + + +ROMANISM IN AMERICA. + +It may perchance be said that the remarks of the Rev. William Rule, +quoted above, refer exclusively to the existing state of things is +England, Ireland, and the colonies. But who will dare to say, after a +careful investigation of the subject, that they do not apply with equal +force to these United States? + +Has America nothing to fear from the inquisitors--from the Jesuits? Is +it true that the "Inquisition still exists in Rome--that its code is +unchanged--that its emissaries are sent over all the world--that every +nuncio and bishop is an Inquisitor," and is it improbable that, even +now, torture rooms like those described in the foregoing story, may be +found in Roman Catholic establishments in this country? Yes, even here, +in Protestant, enlightened America! Have WE then nothing to fear from +Romanism? But a few days since a gentleman of learning and intelligence +when speaking of this subject, exclaimed, "What have we to do with the +Jesuits? and what is the Inquisition to us? The idea that we have aught +to fear from Romanism, is simply ridiculous!" In reply to this, allow +me to quote the language of the Rev. Manuel J. Gonsalves, leader of the +Madeira Exiles. + +"The time will come when the American people will arise as one man, and +not only abolish the confessional, but will follow the example of many +of the European nations, who had no peace, or rest, till they banished +the Jesuits. These are the men, who bask in the sunbeams of popery, to +whom the pope has entrusted the vast interests of the king of Rome, in +this great Republic. Nine tenths of the Romish priests, now working hard +for their Master the pope, in this country, are full blooded Jesuits. +The man of sin who is the head of the mystery of iniquity--through +the advice of the popish bishops now in this country, has selected +the Jesuitical order of priests, to carry on his great and gigantic +operations in the United States of America. Those Jesuits who +distinguish themselves the most in the destruction of Protestant Bible +religion, and who gain the largest number of protestant scholars for +popish schools and seminaries; who win most American converts to their +sect are offered great rewards in the shape of high offices in the +church. John Hughes, the Jesuit Bishop of the New York Romanists, was +rewarded by Pope Pius 9th, with an Archbishop's mitre, for his great, +zeal and success, in removing God's Holy Bible from thirty-eight public +schools in New York, and for procuring a papal school committee, to +examine every book in the hands of American children in the public +schools, that every passage of truth, in those books of history +unpalatable to the pope might be blotted out." Has America then nothing +to do with Romanism? + +But another gentleman exclaims, "What if Romanism be on the increase in +the United States! Is not their religion as dear to them, as ours is +to us?" To this the Rev. M. J. Gonsalves would reply as follows. "The +American people have been deceived, in believing THAT POPERY WAS A +RELIGION, not a very good one to be sure, but some kind of one. This has +been their great mistake. We might as well call the Archbishop of the +fallen angels, and his crew, a religious body of intelligent beings, +because they believe in an Almighty God, and tremble, as to call the man +of sin and his Jesuits, a body of religious saints. The tree is known +by its fruit, such as 'love, joy, peace, long suffering, gentleness, +goodness, meekness, faith, temperance, brotherly kindness;' and where +the spirit of the Lord is, there is liberty, Christian liberty, giving +to God and man their due unasked. Now we ask, what kind of fruit does +the tree of Popery bear, in any country, that it should claim homage, +and respect, as a good religion?" + +Such is the language of one who knew so well what popery was, that he +fled from it as from a hell upon earth. + +In his further remarks upon the horrors of convent life in the United +States, he fully confirms the statements in the foregoing narrative. He +says, "It is time that American gentlemen, who are so much occupied +in business, should think of the dangers of the confessional, and the +miseries endured by innocent, duped, American, imprisoned females in +this free country; and remember that these American ladies who have been +duped and enticed by Jesuitical intrigue and craft, into their female +convents, have no means of deliverance; they cannot write a letter to a +friend without the consent and inspection of the Mother Abbess, who +is always and invariably a female tyrant, a creature in the pay of the +Bishop, and dependent upon the Bishop for her despotic office of power. +The poor, unfortunate, imprisoned American female has no means of +redress in her power. She cannot communicate her story of wrong and +suffering to any living being beyond the walls of her prison. She may +have a father, a mother, a dear brother, or a sister, who, if they knew +one-sixteenth part of her wrongs and sufferings, would fly at once to +see her and sympathize with her in her anguish. But the Jesuit confessor +attached to the prison is ever on the alert. Those ladies who appear the +most unhappy, and unreconciled to their prison, are compelled to attend +the confessional every day; and thus the artful Jesuit, by a thousand +cross questions, is made to understand perfectly the state of their +minds. The Lady Porter, or door-keeper and jailor, is always a creature +of the priest's, and a great favorite with the Mother Abbess. Should any +friends call to see an unhappy nun who is utterly unreconciled to her +fate, the Lady Porter is instructed to inform those relatives that the +dear nun they want to see so much, is so perfectly happy, and given up +to heavenly meditations, that she cannot be persuaded to see an earthly +relative. At the same time the Mother Abbess dismisses the relatives +with a very sorrowful countenance, and regrets very much, in appearance, +their disappointment. But the unhappy nun is never informed that her +friends or relatives have called to inquire after her welfare. How +amazing, that government should allow such prisons in the name of +religion!" + + +CONVENT OF THE CAPUCHINS IN SANTIAGO + +In a late number of "The American and Foreign Christian Union," we find +the following account of conventual life from a report of a Missionary +in Chile, South America. + +"Now, my brother, let me give you an account related to me by a most +worthy English family, most of the members of which have grown up in the +country, confirmed also by common report, of the Convent of Capuchins, +in Santiago. + +"The number of inmates is limited to thirty-two young ladies. The +admittance fee is $2000. When the nun enters she is dressed like a +bride, in the most costly material that wealth can command. There, +beside the altar of consecration, she devotes herself in the most +solemn, manner to a life of celibacy and mortification of the flesh +and spirit, with the deluded hope that her works will merit a brighter +mansion in the realms above. + +"The forms of consecration being completed, she begins to cast off +her rich veil, costly vestments, all her splendid diamonds and +brilliants--which, in many instances, have cost, perhaps, from ten to +fifteen, or even twenty thousand dollars. Then her beautiful locks are +submitted to the tonsure; and to signify her deadness forever to the +world, she is clothed in a dress of coarse grey cloth, called serge, in +which she is to pass the miserable remnant of her days. The dark sombre +walls of her prison she can sever pass, and its iron-bound doors are +shut forever upon their new, youthful, and sensitive occupant. Rarely, +if ever, is she permitted to speak, and NEVER, NEVER, to see her friends +or The loved ones of home--to enjoy the embraces of a fond mother, or +devoted father, or the smiles of fraternal or sisterly affection. If +ever allowed to speak at all, it is through iron bars where she cannot +be seen, and in the presence of the abbess, to see that no complaint +escapes her lips. However much her bosom may swell with anxiety at the +sound of voices which were once music to her soul, and she may long to +pour out her cries and tears to those who once soothed every sorrow of +her heart; yet not a murmur must be uttered. The soul must suffer +its own sorrows solitary and alone, with none to sympathize, or grant +relief, and none to listen to its moans but the cold gloomy walls of her +tomb. No, no, not even the Gospel of Jesus Christ, that great alleviator +of all the sorrows of the heart, is allowed an entrance there. + +"Nor is this all. Besides being condemned to a meagre, insufficient +and unwholesome diet which they themselves must cook, the nuns are +not allowed to speak much with each other, except to say, 'Que morir +tenemos, 'we are to die,' or 'we must die,' and to reply, 'Ya los +sabemos,' 'we know it,' or 'already we know it' + +"They pass most of their time in small lonely cells, where they sleep in +a narrow place dug out in the ground, in the shape of a coffin, without +bed of any kind, except a piece of coarse serge spread down; and their +daily dress is their only covering. SLEEP! Did I say? Alas! 'Tired +nature's sweet restorer, balmy sleep, no more with his downy pinions +lights on his unsullied with a tear:' FOR EVERY HOUR OF THE TWENTY-FOUR +they are aroused by the bell to perform their 'Ave Maria's,' count their +rosaries, and such other blind devotions as may be imposed. Thus they +drag out a miserable existence, and when death calls the spirit to its +last account, the other nuns dig the grave with their own hands, within +the walls of the convent, and so perform the obsequies of their departed +sister. + +"Thus, I have briefly given you not fiction! but a faithful narrative +of facts in regard to conventual life, and an establishment marked by +almost every form of sin, and yet making pretence of 'perfecting the +saints,' by the free and gentle influences of the gospel of Christ. + +"Query 1st. What is done with all the money? + +"2d. What is done with the rich vestments and jewels? + +"3d. Where do the priests get all their brilliants to perform high mass +and adorn their processions? + +"4th. Where does all the hair of the saints come from, which is sold in +lockets for high prices as sure preventives of evil? + +"5th. Whose grave has been plundered to obtain RELICS to sell to the +ignorant. + +"6th. Where does the Romish Church obtain her SURPLUS RIGHTEOUSNESS TO +SELL TO THE needy, and not give it like our blessed Lord, 'without money +and without price?' + +"7th. Who is responsible for the FANATICISM that induces a young female +to incarcerate herself? + +"8th. Where is the authority in reason, in revelation, for such a life? + +"9th. What is the average length of life? + +"10th. How many die insane? + +"A young lady lately cast herself from the tower, and was dashed in +pieces, being led to do it, doubtless, in desperation. The convents of +this city, of the same order, require the same entrance fee, $2000. Of +course, none but the comparatively rich can avail themselves of this +perfection of godliness. + +"Who will say that this mode of life has not been invented in order to +cut short life as rapidly as possible, that the $2000, with all the rich +diamonds upon initiation, may be repeated as frequently as possible? + +"O! how true it is, that Romanism is the same merciless, cruel, +diabolical organisation, wherever it can fully develop itself, in +all lands. How truly is it denominated by the pen of inspiration the +'MYSTERY OF INIQUITY,' especially that part of it relating to these +secret institutions, and the whole order of the Jesuits." + +The editor of the "Christian Union", in his remarks on the above, says, +"Already the fair face of our country is disfigured by the existence +here and there of conventual establishments. At present they do not +show the hideous features which they, at least in some cases, assume in +countries where papal influence and authority are supreme. The genius of +our government and institutions necessarily exerts a restraining power, +which holds them from excesses to which, otherwise, they might run. But +they constitute a part of a system which is strongly at variance with +the interests of humanity, and merely wait the occurrence of favorable +circumstances to visit upon our land all the horrors which they have +inflicted elsewhere. + +"How many conventual establishments there are now in the nation, few +Protestants, it is believed, know. And how many young females, guilty of +no crime against society, and condemned by no law of the land, are shut +up in their walls and doomed to a life which they did not anticipate +when entering them, a life which is more dreadful to them than death, +very few of the millions of our citizens conceive. The majority of our +people have slept over the whole subject, and the indifference thus +manifested has emboldened the priests to posh forward the extension +of the system, and the workmen are now busy in various places in +the construction of additional establishments. But such facts as are +revealed in this article, from the pen of our missionary, in connection +with things that are occurring around us, show that no time should be +lost in examining this whole subject of convents and monasteries, and in +legislating rightly about them." + +Again, when speaking of papal convents in the United States, the same +talented writer observes, "The time has fully come when Protestants +should lay aside their apathy and too long-cherished indifference in +respect to the movements of Rome in this land. It is time for them to +call to mind the testimony of their fathers, their bitter experiences +from the papal See, and to take effective measures to protect the +inheritance bequeathed to them, that they may hand it down to their +children free from corruption, as pure and as valuable as when they +received it. They should remember that Rome claims never to change, that +what she was in Europe when in the zenith of her power, she will be here +when fairly installed, and has ability to enforce her commands. + +"Her numbers now on our soil, her nearly two thousand priests moving +about everywhere, her colleges and printing-presses, her schools and +convents, and enormous amounts of property held by her bishops, have +served as an occasion to draw out something of her spirit, and to show +that she is ARROGANT AND ABUSIVE TO THE EXTENT OF HER POWER. + +"Scarcely a newspaper issues from her press, but is loaded with abuse of +Protestants and of their religion, and at every available point assaults +are made upon their institutions and laws; and Rome and her institutions +and interests are crowded into notice, and special privileges are loudly +clamored for. + +"All Protestants, therefore, of every name, and of every religious and +political creed, we repeat it, who do not desire to ignore the past, and +to renounce all care or concern for the future, as to their children and +children's children, should lose no time in informing themselves of +the state of things around them in regard to the papacy and its +institutions. They should without delay devote their efforts and +influence to the protection of the country against those Popish +establishments and their usages which have been set up among us without +the authority of law, and under whose crushing weight some of the +nations of Europe have staggered and reeled for centuries, and have now +but little of their former power and glory remaining, and under which +Mexico, just upon our borders, has sunk manifestly beyond the power of +recovery. + +"Let each individual seek to awaken an interest in this matter in +the mind of his neighbor. And if there be papal establishments in +the neighborhood under the names of 'schools,' 'retreats', 'religions +communities,' or any other designation, which are at variance with, or +are not conformed to, the laws of the commonwealth in which they are +situated, let memorials be prepared and signed by the citizens, and +forwarded immediately to the legislature, praying that they may be +subjected to examination, and required to conform to the laws by which +all Protestant institutions of a public nature are governed. + +"Let us exclude from our national territory all irresponsible +institutions. Let us seek to maintain a government of law, and insist +upon the equality of all classes before it." + +In closing these extracts, we beg leave to express ourselves in the +words of the Rev. Dr. Sunderland, of Washington city, in a sermon +delivered before the American and Foreign Christian Union, at its +anniversary in May, 1856. + +"But new it is asked, 'Why all this tirade against Roman Catholics?' We +repel the implication. It is not against the unhappy millions that are +ground down under the iron heel of that enormous despotism. They are of +the common humanity, our brethren and kinsmen, according to the flesh. +They need the same light instruction and salvation that we need. Like +ourselves they need the one God, the one mediator between God and man, +the man Christ Jesus; and from the heart we love and pity them. We would +grant them all the privileges which we claim to ourselves. We can have +no animosity towards them as men and candidates with ourselves for the +coming judgment. But it is the system under which they are born, and +live, and die, I repeat, which we denounce, and when we shall cease to +oppose it, then let our right hand forget her cunning, and our tongue +cleave to the roof of our mouth. What is it but a dark and terrible +power on earth before which so many horrible memories start up? Why, +sir, look at it! We drag the bones of the grim behemoth out to view, for +we would not have the world forget his ugliness nor the terror he has +inspired. 'A tirade against Romanism,' is it? O sir, we remember +the persecutions of Justinian; we remember the days of the Spanish +Inquisition; we remember the reign of 'the Bloody Mary;' we remember +the revocation of the Edict of Nantes; we remember St. Bartholomew; +we remember the murdered Covenanters, Huguenots, and Piedmontese; we +remember the noble martyrs dying for the testimony of the faith along +the ancient Rhine; we remember the later wrath which pursued the +islanders of Madeira, till some of them sought refuge upon these +shores; we remember the Madiai, and we know how the beast ever seeks to +propagate his power, by force where he can, by deception where he must. +And when we remember these things, we must protest against the further +vigor and prosperity of this grand Babylon of all. Take it, then, tirade +and all, for so ye must, ye ministers of Rome, sodden with the fumes of +that great deep of abominations! The voice of the Protestant shall never +be hushed; the spirit of Reformation shall never sleep. O, lands of +Farel and of Calvin, of Zwingle and of Luther! O countries where the +trumpet first sounded, marshalling the people to this fearful contest! +We have heard the blast rolling still louder down the path of three +hundred years, and in our solid muster-march we come, the children +of the tenth generation. We come a growing phalanx, not with carnal +weapons, but with the armor of the gospel, and wielding the sword of +truth on the right hand and on the left, we say that ANTICHRIST MUST +FALL. Hear it, ye witnesses, and mark the word; by the majesty of the +coming kingdom of Jesus, and by the eternal purpose of Jehovah, THIS +ANTICHRIST MUST FALL." + + + + +END + + + + + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Life in the Grey Nunnery at Montreal, by +Sarah J Richardson + +*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK LIFE IN THE GREY NUNNERY *** + +***** This file should be named 5734.txt or 5734.zip ***** +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: + http://www.gutenberg.org/5/7/3/5734/ + +Produced by Gardner Buchanan with help from Charles Franks +and Distributed Proofers + + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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